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Sanders Sides Fics

Summary:

One of these is from a writing prompt ask on Tumblr, the other is a vent fic. You'll never know which is which.

Chapter 1

Summary:

Virgil is used to his anxiety causing potential parents to give him up. And usually, all it takes is one panic attack.

Chapter Text

Virgil had accepted at a young age that he’d never find a “forever home.” At the age of ten, and he had already gone through countless foster homes, just to be sent somewhere else when the parents decided they “couldn’t handle him.” He always tried to behave, just so the foster parents wouldn’t get rid of him, but then he’d get an anxiety attack, the parents would decide that they didn’t want to deal with his issues, and he’d be sent on down to the next foster home. 

Which is why when he was brought in by the couple Patton and Logan, he assumed it was going to be just like any other home. They’d take care of him for a while, then he’d have an anxiety attack and they would send him along to another home. So Virgil made sure to not get attached, no matter how open and friendly Patton was, or how calm and respectful Logan was, Virgil knew it was temporary, and he’d only miss it more if he let himself get close to them.

After all, it was only so long until the next anxiety attack.

It took longer than Virgil expected for the next attack, especially considering how closed off Virgil kept himself from these two surprisingly kind guardians, but, just as Virgil was expecting, another anxiety attack came. 

It was during school, which made matters worse for Virgil, since he had to be taken home. He really couldn’t help it. If he could stay and not have to bother his guardians, he would, but after a panic attack he was always shaking too much to get anything done in class anyway, and he never learned how to manage his anxiety.

This left Virgil sitting in the school’s front office, breath shaking as he made an attempt to collect himself for whichever parent would be picking him up, though any progress he made in this was immediately lost when Virgil saw Logan walk into the school, Virgil immediately assuming the expression on his face was anger or frustration.

Virgil kept his head down as Logan walked into the office, kneeling down in front of Virgil. “Are you going to be okay?” Logan asked. Virgil wasn’t sure he was okay, but he nodded anyway. Logan nodded back, taking Virgil’s hand as he stood. “Come on, let’s get you home.” Virgil was signed out of school, as he simply followed behind Logan silently. 

Virgil’s worry only rose on the drive home, Logan being completely silent the entire time. By the time they got home, Virgil was certain Logan was angry at him, so as soon as Virgil walked through the door and saw Patton waiting there for them, he ran towards him and wrapped his arms around the man’s waist, burying his head against his stomach. As Patton returned Virgil’s hug, Virgil heard Logan speaking quietly to Patton, probably telling him what happened.

Patton didn’t move until Virgil let go, at which time he leaned down, putting one hand on Virgil’s shoulder and running the other through his hair. “Why don’t you go settle down in your room while me and Logan talk, okay?” Patton said in a gentle voice, smiling sweetly at Virgil. Virgil nodded and quickly headed off to his room.

As soon as Virgil closed the door behind him, he curled up against the wall at the corner of his bed with his head hanging down in between his arms, hearing Logan and Patton faintly talking through the wall. Virgil was almost certain this was gonna be what led this couple to getting rid of him. Logan had to be angry at him, He had to come pick Virgil up from school early, and then he didn’t say a word the entire way home. He had to hate Virgil for that.

Virgil lifted his head up, tears forming in his eyes as he looked around the room. If they were going to get rid of him, then Virgil wanted to take in what they had given him at the time. 

After a while of Virgil’s steadily falling tears, there was a knock at his bedroom door. “Virgil?” He heard Patton’s voice. “Is it okay if we come in?” 

Virgil quickly wiped away the tears. “Y-yeah,” he said, curling back up. The door opened slowly, and Patton walked in, followed by Logan. Logan closed the door, while Patton sat down next to Virgil on his bed. “Hey kiddo,” Patton said quietly, wiping some tears from Virgil’s face that he apparently missed. “Logan said you had a panic attack today.”

Virgil nodded.

“Does that happen a lot?” Patton asked.

Virgil nodded again, burying his head against his legs as he attempted to cover up more of his crying. He felt arms wrapping around him, and looked up to see Patton holding Virgil against his side. 

“What’s the matter?” Patton asked softly. Virgil’s only response was leaning against Patton and crying more. Patton began gently petting Virgil’s hair. “It’s okay, just get it out of your system.” He began speaking in a comforting voice, just sitting there and holding Virgil until he was done crying.

Virgil looked up, wiping his eyes, and noticed Logan was also sitting down next to them. Virgil sniffled, looking over at Logan. “Are-” he breathed shakily. “Are you going to get rid of me because I made you mad?”

The expression on Logan’s face upon hearing that was complete shock. “Of course we’re not going to get rid of you. And what made you think you made me mad?”

Virgil looked down into his lap. “You had to take me out of school, and then you were really quiet coming home.”

Everything else was silent as Logan sighed. “Virgil,” Logan started, slowly reaching his arms over to Virgil, wrapping them around Virgil when Virgil leaned toward him to let him know he was allowed to, “the only reason I was quiet was because I was worried about you. As soon as I heard that you had a panic attack I wanted to make sure I could help you with it the best I could. I’m sorry that I failed to convey that.”

Virgil nodded feebly. “S-so you’re not going to get rid of me?”

“Of course not kiddo,” Patton said, running his fingers through Virgil’s hair. “You’re part of this family now, and family means noone gets left behind or forgotten.”

Logan nodded in agreement. “We’re here to look after you, no matter what that means.”

Virgil nodded again as he buried his head against Patton’s chest, more tears falling, although this time they were out of relief. This time, he actually found parents that wouldn’t abandon him, and he never wanted to let them go.

Chapter 2

Summary:

Virgil gets panic attacks from hearing people argue because trauma. The Main Sides don't know this. Sad boi hours ensue.

Chapter Text

Anxiety curled himself up on the couch as Deceit stood and argued with Apathy. The only thing keeping him from leaving or saying something or even just crying was the fear that doing so would redirect the anger at him. After several minutes of arguing, they both stormed off and went into their separate rooms. It was then that Anxiety let tears start falling down his face, still not moving from the couch, where Depression sat beside him. “Why can’t they just think about how we feel for once?” he asked Depression between the sobs.

“Anxiety,” Depression started, “I get that you’re new here, so let me give you some advice. Don’t think like that. Don’t think about how you feel. Deceit’s going to yell if he’s in a bad mood, it won’t even always be an argument. Just learn to deal with the yelling.”

“But how we feel matters too.”

“Don’t think like that,” Depression said sharply, his head quickly turning to face Anxiety. There was a panic so foreign to his gray eyes that Anxiety immediately went quiet, knowing Depression was serious about this. “That’s exactly the kind of thinking that’ll get you in trouble here. Just let Deceit yell, even if it’s at you, even if you didn’t do anything. If he’s unhappy, we’ll all be miserable. Do you understand?”

Anxiety nodded. Depression barely ever showed emotion - even when he was the one being yelled at, he would just stand there and take it - so now the panic and concern in Depression’s face made it clear how important this was. “Yes, I understand.”

 

~~~~~

 

Anxiety had left Deceit and The Others quite some time ago, and all the bright colors in this part of the Mindscape, how much more comfortable all of everything was made him certain something would go wrong. Everything just seemed too good to be true. He thought Deceit would show up and take him back to the Other side of the Mindscape, or someone would kick him out and force him back. Everyone hated him enough, so that seemed realistic.

But no.

What went wrong was nothing that he was expecting.

Anxiety had been sitting near the couch, listening to a discussion the others had been having about future plans for Thomas when it happened.

“Well maybe if you would just get your head out of the clouds and listen to me you’d see why that’s completely unreasonable!” Logic’s - Logan’s - voice rang loudly, or at least seemed to for Anxiety. He jumped slightly, his breathing suddenly uneven. He pulled his hood up over his head to try to calm himself down. However, the voices beside him kept growing louder.

“Well maybe you could let Thomas take a few chances for once!” Creativity - Roman- yelled back, the third side of the discussion, Patton, having been forced out of the conversation.

“What you’re suggesting is too risky, Roman! Do you even realize how much he could lose with this?”

“But if it works out he’ll gain even more!”

Why do they keep arguing? Anxiety asked himself. Don’t they know how much easier this would be of they just let the other win the argument? Breathing was quickly becoming very difficult, as was thinking, with every word the two said.

“That’s completely unrealistic, Roman!”

“Well if it were your idea you wouldn’t be saying that!”

Anxiety released a loud sob before being able to cover his mouth to muffle his crying that he could no longer contain. As the room suddenly went quiet, Anxiety attempted to make as little noise as possible in order to keep the focus away from himself, but his stuttering, labored breathing gave him away.

In the corner of his eye, Anxiety saw Patton sit beside him, before turning his head down and squeezing his eyes shut. He just hoped whatever happened to him next, it would be quick.

“Kiddo, are you doing okay?” Anxiety opened his eyes at the surprisingly gentle words, turning back to look at Patton. He started opening his mouth to try to answer, but all that came out was a whimper, and then another loud sob. Anxiety closed his eyes as he wiped at the tears, and when he did so he felt a hand settle on his shoulder. He flinched away from it, dragging his whole body away from the others. They’d probably get mad at him for that, but right now he didn’t care. He just needed to calm down, slow his breathing.

After several surprisingly uninterrupted minutes of long breaths, Anxiety had his thoughts and breathing back under control. He looked over at the others by the couch, confused as to why they actually left him alone that long, and saw concerned looks on all of their faces.

“What happened there, kiddo?” Patton’s voice was calm, gentle, everything Anxiety wasn’t expecting.

“The yelling…” he muttered, the thought of it making his hair stand on end.

“Well why didn’t you say anything? We would’ve listened.” Patton turned and gave the other two a stern look, and Anxiety shook his head. “All that happens when you interrupt yelling is you start getting yelled at,” he explained.

Patton glanced back at him before slowly sliding himself forward. When Anxiety didn’t move, Patton closed the distance between them. Anxiety tensed up, bracing himself for a worst-case scenario, and then didn’t know how to respond when he felt Patton’s arms wrapped around him in a hug. “I’ll never get mad at you, especially if you’re panicking like that, okay?” Patton said quietly. Anxiety still didn’t know how he was supposed to respond to all of this. He was expecting to get yelled at, maybe slapped, but this, this was so, so

comforting.

Anxiety returned the hug, small tears coming to his eyes as he tightly hugged Patton, as though his life depended on it.

So, the place has it’s flaws. But it is still so much better than the alternative. 

Chapter 3

Summary:

Roman decides to go all out for his boyfriend on Valentine's Day. Turns out his boyriend doesn't even remember what the date is.

Chapter Text

Patton grumbled a little when he suddenly awoke to sunlight on his face, hearing quiet singing nearby. He rubbed his eyes as the blurry, singing figure walked over to his bed, sitting down beside him.

Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can’t help falling in love with you?” Patton’s glasses were placed on his face, and the figure placing them there suddenly came into focus to be Roman, who was giving Patton a soft smile. “Good morning, my prince,” Roman quietly told Patton, lightly kissing the side of his head. Patton smiled sleepily at him, cuddling into him a little.

“G’ morning,” he mumbled back.

“I’ve made you breakfast,” Roman told him, before lifting him bridal style and carrying him downstairs. Patton could smell pancakes and strawberries even before they reached the bottom step.

Patton looked up at Roman. “You made pancakes?”

Roman set him down with a smile. “I did learn from the best, after all,” he said, taking Patton’s hand and leading him the rest of the way into the dining room, where he already had the entire table set up with a frilly red tablecloth and pink table runner, both decorated with white hearts, and a bouquet set inside a crystal vase on the center of the table. At the two seats on opposite ends of the table, Roman had already put down plates with heart-shaped pancakes with strawberry glaze and cups of hot chocolate, along with a second cup of coffee on its own serving plate with sugar and cream.

Patton took in the fancy breakfast, which he was certain Roman had put a lot of time into, before turning to his boyfriend with a smile. “How long did you spend on this?” he asked, wrapping his arms around Roman’s neck in a loose hug. “You know you could’ve woken me up to help you out.”

“Well why would I do that when I could surprise you with this instead?” Roman told him, before guiding him over to sit down at the table. “And anyway, this isn’t all I have planned for today.”

“Really?”

“You are going to adore it, believe me,” Roman told him. “I have the Imagination already set up.”

The breakfast continued with the two exchanging lighthearted conversation while they ate. Roman regularly asked Patton if he was needing anything, getting up to get anything Patton asked for. A few times Patton had told Roman that he could get whatever he needed for himself.

“I’m happy to assist, darling,” Roman had told him. “I want this day to be about you, okay?”

After breakfast was over, Roman led Patton into the Imagination, where, like he had said, Roman had already set up a bright and colorful scene with a sunny meadow filled with flowers of all colors, butterflies and birds fluttering around the couple as Roman walked with Patton through the field. Patton excitedly picked several of the flowers, carrying them around in his hands. Eventually, the butterflies began gathering around Patton and settling on his arms and in his hair. 

Patton noticed Roman smiling at him out of the corner of his eye and turned to face him. “Did you plan for them to do this?”

Roman shrug with elaborate casualness. “Well, the flowers are certainly making my part in it easier,” he said, leaning over to kiss Patton on the cheek. “I wish you could see how magical you look right now,” Roman told him.

The date later continued to include a picnic in the meadow, during which Roman made Patton a flower crown, leading Patton to insist on making one for Roman as well. Then, after asking Patton what he wanted to do that day, Roman conjured a ukulele for Patton to play, Roman doing vocals for him.

Once the afternoon was beginning to end, the two went back inside, still wearing their flower crowns. 

Patton pulled Roman into the living room, the energy of the day so far making his head feel all fuzzy in a way he couldn’t quite describe but loved nonetheless. “Come dance with me.”

“Your wish is my command,” Roman responded, wrapping one arm around Patton’s waist and holding his hand with the other. The two began spinning around the room, their feet fluttering across the floor even without any music playing.

Eventually their movement slowed until they finally spinned to a stop, gazing into each other’s eyes. Roman’s hand disconnected with Patton’s and instead went up to cup his cheek, pulling Patton into a kiss that he was happy to lean into.

Roman reached up to brush Patton’s hair back once he pulled away from the kiss, sighing contentedly as he stared into Patton’s eyes. “I love you. Truly, I love more than anything in this life or the next.”

“I love you too, Roman.” Patton rested his arms on Roman’s shoulders. “I do wanna know, though, what’s the occasion?”

Roman blinked at him in confusion. “I’m… not sure what you mean?”

“Just, all this.” Patton gestured to the flower crowns and to the door to the Imagination. “I mean, I know you like romantic gestures and all that, but I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t make an entire day out of it without a reason to.”

Roman stared at Patton in surprise for a moment before began to laugh quietly. “Reason? Patton, it’s Valentine’s Day. Didn’t you know that?”

“It’s-” Hold on, was that really what day it was? Patton had honestly not noticed the date. “Roman, I completely forgot.”

Roman laughed, leaning his forehead against Patton’s. “Puppy, I made heart-shaped pancakes. The tablecloth had hearts on it. Did you really not realize?”

“N-no.” Patton’s face heated up with embarrassment.

“No worries,” Roman told him. “I am glad you did ask eventually. Imagine!” Roman pulled Patton against his chest, wrapping his arms around Patton’s waist. “I plan out the perfect Valentine’s date for us without you ever realizing the occasion! Well, at least you can now enjoy the rest of our date while knowing what we’re celebrating.” 

“You still have more planned?”

“Of course.” Roman pulled one arm from Patton to lead him back into the dining room. “After all, what’s a Valentine’s Day date,” Roman waved a hand with a flourish, and the dining room table automatically changed, a candle now resting in the middle of the table with two dinner plates on either end, “without a candlelit dinner?”

Patton looked at the table setup before turning to look at Roman. “Roman, I love it,” he said fondly. 

Roman smiled with pride. “Then come take a seat,” he said, guiding Patton over to sit down.

The dinner passed much like breakfast had, although the conversation was generally quieter, followed by a dessert that was also much of the same.Once that was done and Roman had cleared the table, he walked over to Patton’s seat, holding an arm out for him to take. “Shall we go on to the next part of the night?”

Patton took Roman’s arm as he stood up from the table, eager to see what else Roman had planned for the day. Roman led him through the house to the hallway that led to the bathroom, where Patton saw Rose petals scattered along the ground. Roman took him down the hallway to the bathroom, which Roman had evidently set up with several candles and plenty of rose petals. The room was filled with a soothing smell, and Patton sighed as they entered, relaxing against Roman’s arm.

“I was hoping you’d like it,” Roman said, releasing Patton’s arm. “You get comfortable, and I’ll be right back.” Roman then walked back out of the bathroom, leaving Patton to lie down in the bathtub, which had already been filled with warm water, flower blossoms floating on its surface.

Roman later rentered, carrying with him a warm towel, which he laid over the top of Patton’s head, causing him to relax further, and massage lotion, which Roman rubbed into Patton’s shoulders before working his way down each of his arms and then hands. Roman then helped Patton into a bathrobe once he was done soaking in the tub, and proceeded to carry him bridal style back to his bedroom. Roman then continued the massage with Patton’s back. Patton was half-asleep by the time he was done. He sighed happily when Roman ran his fingers through Patton’s hair. 

“Did you have a nice day?” Roman purred.

Patton hummed in affirmation, nodding a bit. “You’re really wonderful,” Patton mumbled sleepily. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, darling.” Roman kissed Patton’s head, stroking his hair affectionately. “Good night, sweet dreams,” he said quietly, beginning to hum quietly until Patton eventually fell asleep completely.

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