Archive of Our Own ^beta

 It was a calm, cool night as Jay sat alone on the edge of the Bounty, his legs dangling over the ocean. Like many nights before, he’d been kept awake by persistent thoughts about his best friend. As much as it scared him, he was at a point now where he could no longer deny what he had really known for years: he liked Cole. Like, really liked him.

 Every night, Jay’s mind would be flooded with thoughts of the earth ninja, his smile, his warm, brown eyes, the way he would brush his hair out of his face with a laugh whenever Jay told a joke. Every night, over-analysing every tiny interaction until it felt like he would go crazy wondering: “could Cole feel the same way about me?”

 Jay sighed and put his head in his hands. He knew he had to tell Cole at some point but… when? He had tried to tell him many times in the past, but had always chickened out. There was just too much at stake if Cole didn’t feel the same way. Cole was his best friend ; if it went wrong, Jay could potentially lose him again. But deep down Jay knew that Cole would never be the first to admit his feelings. He just wasn’t that type of person.

 What had made everything way harder was the fact that Cole was now a ghost. Even if Jay did confess now, what would happen? For all they knew, Cole was going to stay a ghost forever. If that was true, that would mean that Jay would never actually be able to touch him. Could he really do that? But, would it really be better if Jay never confessed? After having a crush for so many years, how would he move on?

 A quiet cough jolted Jay out of his thoughts. He whipped around to see Cole himself stood behind him, his translucent form glowing dimly in the light of the full moon.

 “What are you doing out here?” Cole asked, his voice soft. “It’s the middle of the night.”

 “I uh- I couldn’t sleep. And I could ask the same for you.”

 Cole rolled his eyes. “You know I find it harder to sleep now that I’m a ghost. I heard you get up a while ago and you didn’t come back, so I was wondering if you were okay.” He took a seat next to Jay, not quite connecting with the Bounty.

 Jay turned his attention towards the stars. “Thanks but… you really don’t have to worry about me just because I’m out of bed for a little while.”

 “But I do.” Cole’s eyebrows were furrowed with concern. “You’re my best friend; I care about you.” He placed a hand on Jay’s leg. It phased through him slightly, but the gesture caused Jay’s heart to flutter and his face to flush slightly. Jay prayed silently that Cole wouldn’t notice in the dim light. 

 “W-well, I’m fine,” Jay stammered, avoiding Cole’s gaze.

 Noticing Jay’s discomfort, Cole immediately moved his hand back onto his own lap. “Sorry,” He whispered.

 This is what would happen day after day. One of them would make some sort of move, the other would freak out and they would both withdraw again. It drove Jay nuts. But seeing the look of hurt on Cole’s face was always worse than any awkwardness or irritation.

 There was a small moment of silence as the two boys sat under the stars together. On such a nice night, just the two of them, Jay couldn’t help but feel like it was a little romantic. Glancing over, he took in the image of his best friend and realised: ghost or not, he loved Cole. This was his chance to tell him. To explain why he freaked out whenever they got a little too close, why he was up in the night, everything. He had to take it. 

 “Cole,” Jay said slowly, focusing his eyes down at the waves below. “Can I tell you something?”

 “Of course.” Cole shifted slightly, inching closer to Jay so that their thighs were almost touching. At this proximity Jay could just about pick up the distinct ghostly smell of damp socks, a far cry from Cole’s usual warm, earthy scent, and he felt a slight pang in his chest.

 Jay took a deep breath and exhaled hard. “The reason I’m up right now is because… I’ve had a lot on my mind recently.”

 Cole stared at him, eyes full of concern. “Like what?”

 “Like… uh… just- I think-” Jay began to stumble on his words, trying to think of the best way to phrase it. He shut his eyes tight. “I-I really like you Cole. A lot.”

 “Are you serious?”

 Jay opened his eyes and looked over at Cole, whose kind, worried look had been replaced by one of shock and disbelief.

 Jay gave a short, slightly crazed laugh. “Uh, yeah! I wouldn’t joke about something like this. I know I joke about most things, but… not this.”

 Cole’s expression was unchanged. “You really mean it?” He asked quietly.

 “Yeah.” Jay’s heart was beating so hard it felt as if it would burst out of his chest and fall into the water below. This was a mistake , he thought. Of course he wouldn’t feel the same, what was I thinking , he’s never going to talk to me again, I- His thoughts were interrupted by Cole making a short, breathy laugh.

 “Jay, I… I’ve liked you for so long.” Cole ran a hand through his hair. He looked as if he were about to cry. “I’m so glad you feel the same.” His voice wavered slightly at the end.

 “How long?” Jay asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

 Cole made a sound that was like a mix between a laugh and a sob. “Like, since we met basically?”

 Fuck! All this time, Cole really did like him? “I’m sorry,” Jay blurted out. “I should have told you when I first realised, it’s just that I was scared in case it ruined our friendship or something, and then you turned into a ghost and I thought I would never be able to say and-” 

 Cole shushed him. “You don’t have to apologise. I mean, it’s not like I ever said anything.”

 “But- it’s like, too late now right? Because you’re a ghost?”

 Cole looked confused. “What do you mean?”

 Jay sighed in frustration and waved a hand through Cole’s torso, causing him to flinch slightly. “Because I can’t touch you! If I can’t even touch you, how are we supposed to k-” Jay cut himself off. Are you crazy? You only just confessed and you’re already talking about kissing him? What are you, some kind of creep?

 “Kiss?” Cole finished, hesitantly. Jay shrugged, not meeting his eye. He could feel the blush creeping back across his face.

 There was a long pause, then Cole spoke again. “Could… Could I try?”

 Jay looked up at Cole, who was gazing at him with hope and a hint of fear in his eyes. Jay nodded.

 Ever so slowly, Cole leaned in. Jay felt a slight weight on his hand, and glancing down he saw Cole’s now slightly more tangible hand atop his own. His heart skipped a beat as he remembered: if he focused, Cole could make parts of himself more solid. But he had only ever tried it with his hands before… 

 Cole was only a few inches away from Jay’s face at this point. His head spinning, Jay let his eyes shut and waited. After what felt like a lifetime, he felt Cole’s lips press gently against his own.

 Jay felt his legs turn to jelly, and had to grip the side of the Bounty with his free hand to steady himself from toppling over the side. He kissed back, his heart fluttering wildy.

 After a few seconds they pulled apart, and gazed into each others eyes. Jay’s vision swam as he took a deep breath.

 “I love you,” whispered Jay.

 Cole grinned. “I love you too.”

 With sudden, unexpected confidence, Jay intertwined his fingers with Cole’s and leaned closer. “Will you go out with me?”

 Cole nodded, still beaming. “Of course.” He leaned in for another kiss, which Jay returned gratefully. They sat quietly for a few minutes, comfortable in their silence. To Jay, it seemed as if the stars shone a little brighter.

 Eventually, Cole got to his feet. “Come on,” he whispered, holding a hand out. “Let’s go back to bed.”