Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Another great day serving the best customers in the world. The 28 year old sighed as he kicked the side stand down and killed the engine. Please forgive me for my sarcasm.

It had started as a way to save money for his moving away fund; that’s why he took the job. If you wanted to raise kids, or have a quiet life, or even just ignore the world for a while, rural Aragón was perfect. If you didn’t, and you desperately wanted to find a life that left you excited to get up in the morning, it wasn’t. And Dani had been unexcited to get up in the morning for too long. What happened? At what point did I forget how much money I said I was going to save? At what point did I not pack up my house and go? He walked in the door, pulling his gloves off at the same time, and nodded at his manager. “Morning, Alberto.”

“Morning. You’re on time.”

“I’m always on time.” Don’t start this conversation today. “You’re just not always here to see it.”

“Uff. What got you in a mood today?”

Just pick a reason, one of many. “Nothing, sorry. Not had a great weekend.”

“Crashed again?”

“No. Well, yes – but it wasn’t my fault. Someone took me out at the first corner.”

“Ah. Well…there’s always next weekend…”

But if you say that forever, all you’re doing is waiting. “I guess.”

“Well what might cheer you up is that we’ve finally given that job to someone. He starts today.”

“Oh? So I get my free time back?”

“Hopefully. Have to see how he gets on.”

“What’s his name? Did I meet him when you were interviewing?”

“I don’t think so, and…” The manager checked the paper in front of him to jog his memory. “Marc.”

“Marc…?”

“Marc Marquez. Great name!” The older man smiled and then noticed the look on his employee’s face. “What?”

“If it’s the same Marc Marquez…then yeah, it’s a great name. For a great rider.” The expression on his face said more than the words themselves and when Alberto responded, he made it clear he’d heard the negativity in that.

“You know him from racing..?”

“I do.” Dani nodded before glowering and looking outside as another bike pulled into the station. “Intimately. From Turn 1, on Sunday.” Speak of the devil...

“Oh.” Oh dear. “Well, I’m sure he apologised, right?”

“He did.” The younger man nodded and shrugged. “After he’d won the race. 4 hours after.”

Oh dear. The manager tracked his new employee’s progress across the asphalt towards the door before looking back at Dani, who was doing the same. “Well I’m sure he’ll remember you and-“

“Wouldn’t count on it. The kid’s like a local superstar. All smiles. For the camera. Not so much when you’ve dared to get in his way and threatened to ruin a perfect streak. Bruises included.”

Marc reached the door and pushed it open, smiling at his new workmates and oblivious to the conversation, not feeling any of the Monday morning blues of his new colleague. “Morning!”

“You’re late.” Dani looked at him, overtly much more aggressive than he’d intended, and shrugged. “On your first day.”

Ouch. “Hmm…only a bit, though? Got stuck waiting for my brother to get out the shower.” He flashed him a prize-winning smile and felt it freeze and start to fade as he got nothing back. Huh. That usually works.

“Always an excuse.” The older biker shrugged again and then moved off to start actual work, not bothering to introduce himself. I knew you wouldn’t remember. “Just be on time tomorrow.”

Marc nodded at him, looking to Alberto for an explanation, or another comment about his timing, finding neither and only an apologetic smile in their place. Welcome to your new job. The people are a delight.

“Ok, where do you want me to start?”

Chapter Text

Marc spent his first day doing all the shit things that were expected of a junior staff member on their first day: cleaning things up, counting things, restocking things and learning how to use everything. When Dani went for his lunch break, however, Alberto sent Marc out to work the pumps and kept a keen eye on him. Dani usually did that, and when he’d first started he’d had the same effect on customers Marc was now having: they were all smitten within seconds. The kid had an easy smile that always radiated something more than just ‘hello, customer, this is my job’, and Alberto made a mental note to move him into that permanently once he was up to speed. Which Dani wouldn’t like, but then if you wanted to stay ahead, you had to make the effort. And whilst that had come easily to the older attendant when he first started, it had long since been replaced by a cursory smile and nod, getting on with the job. Use the spark whilst he has it. I am a business owner after all, not their friend.

The two colleagues didn’t share many words after the initial encounter, conversations mostly consisting of ‘where do I…?’ from Marc followed by a sharp ‘here’ or ‘there’ from his older counterpart; usually accompanied by a scowl or sigh. The younger rider had started to wonder if Dani was just like that, if he was having a bad day, or if he’d done something terrible to him at some point. Nothing was firing his memory, however, so he chalked it down to being Monday and tried his best to keep flashing smiles his way in the hope he would defrost. If not today, maybe tomorrow, or Wednesday, or Thursday… He shrugged to himself as he waited for Dani to move out the way and let him past with a pack of Coke he’d been told to put in the fridge, feeling the first shiver of real irritation as the older man obviously made his obstruction last longer than it could have. Or maybe never, you asshole. He sighed at him, getting annoyed at being the only one making the effort, and pointedly placed each can into the fridge with a resounding thud. You obviously have just decided that you don’t like me. Fine. I don’t like you right now either. And I’m switching off the charm in 3, 2, 1..

“Careful with those.”

You ass. Marc looked down at the floor and tried to contain his irritation before smiling back at the older man and nodding. “Sorry. Just getting tired, now.”

“Yeah, well…don’t shake them up. People get annoyed.”

Yeah, people do get annoyed when you shake them up. The younger rider sighed again and tried to pull off a smile, hoping Dani noticed the difference between the genuine effort of the morning and the veneer of now. “Yeah, I know. Sorry.”

Heard that before. Dani shrugged at him and gave the same smile to the truck driver who’d just walked in. “120 Euros of 95?”

“Yeah.”

“And do you want a chocolate bar for a Euro?”

“No thanks.”

The till was opened and closed before the jangle of change being handed over.

“Ok. Thanks. Bye…”

“Bye. Have a good day.”

Marc smiled to himself in the reflection and raised his eyebrows. No, Sir. Not possible. He finished putting in the last two and got back to his feet. “Right, I’m done for the day.”

“Great. Bye then.”

Seriously, this guy is going to be hard work. The plan was to work there as long as necessary, and necessary was hopefully only going to be a couple of months, but still. I’ll be surprised if we both get out alive. “Bye. Have a good evening. See you tomorrow?”

“You’re working tomorrow, too?”

At least try and hide your disappointment. “Yeah, I am. Every day this week.”

“Oh.” Fuck.

“So hopefully by Friday you’ll have managed to smile at me.” His irritation was real now, and felt a lot more personal. Not only was he not used to this – people usually reacted to him somewhere in between melting and blushing – but he knew he hadn’t done anything to him, and it just felt plain unfair. He took off his badge and placed it slightly overly-aggressively on the counter in front of the older man. “So, yeah. See you tomorrow.” ….asshole.

It took howling away from the forecourt, louder than necessary, and almost getting a knee down on a couple of corners on the unnecessarily long way home before Marc realised why he was quite so irritated.

I liked you when I walked in this morning. I thought you were cute.

*

He kicked the side stand down once he got home, took his helmet off and threw the key up to catch, grabbing it out the air and walking through the front door in more of his usual confident swagger, the ride making him feel a lot more like himself. He threw his jacket down over the back of the sofa and stretched as Alex appeared.

“Hey. Good day?”

“Shit.” Marc shrugged at his brother and then smiled. “Not my fault though, this time. I’m hungry…you cooking?”

“No.”

“Well I’m not. What have we got?”

“Salad. Bread. Possibly cheese.”

“Cheese sandwich then. What I was dreaming of all day.”

“I said possibly.”

Marc grinned at the tone and pointed towards the kitchen. “Well let’s find out. Because salad sandwich isn’t going to cut it.” He looked up at the ceiling as he heard footsteps somewhere upstairs and raised his eyebrows at his brother. “Still here?”

He nodded. “Asleep all day. Or well, asleep when I left, asleep when I got back.”

“Well…I did tire her out…” Marc winked and waited until calves appeared at the top of the stairs, calves attached to heels that were far too high to be wearing inside. “Hey, babe. Good day?”

“Ok. Where were you?”

“At work.”

“Urgh. I thought we were going to go out for dinner?”

“Not tonight, babe. Can’t afford it.”

“Urgh. I thought you said you went to work?”

“Yeah. I did. To pay for the next time I end up on the floor in Turn 1.”

“Oh well fine. I guess I’ll see you around, then. If you ever call me…”

“Course I’ll call you, babe.” Marc pulled her in and pecked her on the lips, other hand risking a quick squeeze of her ass. “Or maybe this time, you call me. Or ask me to dinner. Or pick me up from the bar…”

She laughed and quickly tapped the end of his nose with her finger. “You’re funny!”

The brothers shared a look as she walked out, Alex more irritated, Marc more used to it and amusedly accepting. “It’s ok. I’m using her and she’s using me. Everyone’s on the same page.”

“…except you’re the one paying for it.”

“Hey, come on. It’s not over that line yet.”

“I wasn’t calling her a whore, I was calling you a prick for putting up with it.”

Marc’s eyebrows shot up and he laughed at the choice of words. “Oh, well…good to know! Am I a salad prick or a cheesy prick?”

“Neither.” Alex’s voice sounded faint from inside the fridge as his brain caught on to the choice of words and he laughed. “And I was wrong. And the bread’s mouldy.”

Fuck. “Right, ok…pizza? I’ll walk down and get it in a bit.”

“Fine with me. What if she sees you?”

“Fuck her. I’m hungry.”

“Hopefully not literally. Because me too, and I know how long that can take.”

*

Dani pulled into the drive and went through the same irritated ritual as he had that morning when he’d arrived at work. By his reckoning, Marc would have arrived home about an hour before the rain. Dani had set off 3 minutes before it started, and was now soaking to the bone.

’Have a nice evening’…yeah. Great. Drying my stuff, just waiting to do it all again tomorrow opposite your annoying, pearly, stupidly iridescent smile.

He frowned at himself, wondering where that choice of words had come from, and splayed everything out on the table in the kitchen to dry, stripping down to boxers in the process and too lazy to go and fetch more clothes to put back on. The rain had stopped, anyway, and it was almost as hot as it had been that morning when he’d got up, and then he’d eaten breakfast on his little terrace in boxers.

And if you see me, I can only hope you enjoy the view.

He made some pasta, plonked himself down in some shade and started idly chewing, flicking through a motocross magazine with his fork-less hand.

And there he is.

He noticed the other man out the corner of his eye and sat bolt upright, staring, chewing, hand frozen between mouth and plate. If he wasn’t such a dick, he’d almost be pretty. He laughed that off, watched the other rider walk down the street, slight swagger of confidence back, and rolled his eyes at himself for ever having thought such a thing. But he is a dick, so that’s question: answered.

Marc stopped as he noticed a cat appear in a doorway, stroked its head, and then carried on again and turned a corner.

Dani sighed, looked back down at his plate, and carried on.

Dick. Only dicks stop and pet random, cute and fluffy adorable animals with such tenderness and affection.

Chapter Text

As the sun rose on Tuesday, Marc was going to sleep as Dani was getting up to go to work. Today, the older of the two had to open the station, and the younger was due in at midday. Marc had spent most of the night in the garage of the small house he shared with Alex, looking after the last repairs after the crash and re-spraying. The hasty but decent main part of the repair job had been done by the garage where Alex worked; on Sunday night after the race. They often helped out, and if they couldn’t do it, they let them use the space when it was closed, but that night it wasn’t closed: they were doing some commercial contract that had to be done as quickly as possible. So Marc was in his tiny garage, door open, moths buzzing around the bulb once it had gone dark, perfectly aware that re-spraying in anything other than good light was a bad idea and forging ahead anyway. Because at some point, he was going to need sleep, and he wanted to get it done before the inevitable evening when he came home and fell on the sofa for a mini eternity. After gassing himself almost to extinction with paint and leaving it to dry, and after the second time he’d yelled at Alex to come and reposition the fan for him, his brother gave up trying to ignore the row and came down to help, passing Marc the things he asked for, watching and learning, making drinks, and moving the fan so the older of the two didn’t roast himself alive in the hot, sticky aftermath of what should have been enough rain to whittle away the humidity.

By 3am, Marc was filthy. The jeans and white vest that had been reasonably clean when he put them on were now covered in oil, paint and general grime, and the rest of him wasn’t fairing much better, constantly wiping away the sweat from his face and arms with a rag that had also been used to wipe anything and everything off various garage surfaces and motorbikes for several months. When Alex came back in with the ‘final refreshment break’, he stopped in the doorway and smiled at him, half affectionately and half scoldingly. Marc was stood under the bulb, wiping his hands in abject futility on the same rag, checking the job.

“Right, seriously now. Last drink. Then I’m going to bed, and you are going to have a shower and go to bed.”

Marc took the cup and grinned, knackered but pleased with the results. “Ok, I know. I’ve got to work tomorrow, too. Not tried that on this amount of sleep for a while.”

“You’ll be ok because you’re made of energy but seriously. Shower, as well. Otherwise the sheets will be sponsored by Yamalube.”

“Well-“

“Don’t make that joke again.”

“Fine!” He grinned at his brother and threw the rag onto the floor in the corner. “I’m going. I’ll close the door and go and shower, promise.”

“Good.” Alex patted him on the back and made his retreat. “Goodnight!”

“Night!”

He stood there for a couple of minutes admiring his work, sipping his drink, before putting the cup down and wrenching the door closed, cringing at the noise as the hinges refused to play nice, waiting for the yell from next door about the racket, that never came, and pulling the bolt across.

Not a bad job. Now to really cool off, and annoy the neighbours a bit more.

The shower had broken in April, and it was now June. Originally they’d planned to fix it within a couple of days, then that hadn’t happened and they’d come back from a day of motocross covered in crap and forgotten, groaned at each other and then stood naked in the garden with the hosepipe, the only thing they could think of to make enough difference to get rid of the mud. Marc had wanted to try the jet wash, either theirs or the one at the garage down the road even better, but Alex’s face of ‘that would be funny but you must be joking’, followed by the words you really think jet-washing your penis isn’t going to hurt? had talked him out of it, and after that they’d drilled holes in a bucket, attached the hosepipe to it and make a sort of cubicle out of some trellis and fence panels, and now the new ‘shower’ worked better than the old one ever had. It was outside and it wouldn’t be a good idea in winter, but the burning summer temperatures actually made it a better idea than indoors. His would you call her my girlfriend? didn’t like it, but she didn’t like anything.

And at night, you can see the stars.

He deposited all his clothes in a pile on the grass and then turned the tap up full blast, wincing slightly again about the noise the pipes made when they were first turned on, and hopped into the makeshift space, shoulders immediately relaxing as the cool water rained down. He stood there for a few minutes just cooling off before wrenching the kitchen window open, the one that formed part of the wall the shower was built against, and feeling around for shampoo. First attempt; washing up liquid, second attempt; carb cleaner, third attempt; bingo. He squeezed a generous amount onto his hair and lathered that up before stepping back under the water and rinsing it away, repeating the action on the rest of him and then staring up at the sky for a few minutes as the scattered glimmers of stars started to fade into the warm haze of the sun.

Tuesday. Another day.

*

Personally, he didn’t really see why they had to open so early: yes, they were the only station in a fairly large radius, and yes, it sounded good on paper to be open the amount they were. But nobody turned up until at least 730am, every day without fail. So Dani usually used the first part of his day to do stuff he wanted to do. It had started innocently enough with a couple of magazines stowed in the staff cupboard, but by this time there was enough stuff there to rebuild and/or repair a full racing fleet of bikes, cars or even motorhomes, including washing, cleaning and catering, and he decided to wash his bike before the sun got too hot and made the soap dry too fast to rinse off. He did that, admired it for a bit, remembering that old phrase someone had told him ‘if you don’t stop and admire your bike when you get off it, you’ve bought the wrong bike’, then went and made himself a coffee (or three, being honest) and sat down to wait for the first customers of the day.

Tuesday. Another day.

*

“Get up.”

“No.” The young rider writhed around under the sheets slightly and shook his head, face still buried in the pillow and making the words muffled. Go away.

“Get the fuck up.”

“No!”

“It’s 11.28am. If you don’t get up now, you’re going to get fired.”

What?! “No!”

“Seriously, Marc. GET UP. YOU HAVE A JOB.”

Ohhhh, God. I do have a job. A job with a surly but cute co-worker who already told me off for being late yesterday. On my first day. “Urgh. Why are you still here.” Slightly thank you…

“I got called at 830 – which, incidentally, is what time I had to get up – and they don’t need me today. Closing up for a break after working all night.”

“Know the feeling.”

Alex folded his arms and glared at the dozing figure. “Ok…the ride in will take you 15 minutes, if you’re lucky and legal. That leaves you…now...” The younger sibling checked his watch and then looked back up. “16 minutes to get out the house.”

“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.”

“Right, you asked for it.” Alex grinned and grabbed the pre-prepared glass of cold water from where it was hiding behind the door frame. Last chance. “Get up.”

“5 more minutes.”

“Ok, well…I’m not sorry.” He walked over to the bed, judged the trajectory so it would hit Marc’s face and chest perfectly, and then upended it. Marc, who heard the footsteps and suspected something, had turned his face upwards last minute to see what was happening so it hit him straight between the eyebrows. There was a cacophony of swearing, gurgling and spluttering, light screaming included, before the rider sat bolt upright and stared at his grinning brother.

“ARGRGHH!!”

Aww. “Cold?”

“YES, COLD! FUCK! VERY COLD!”

“Are you awake now?”

ARGH. “Yes. I am awake. THANK YOU.”

“You’re more than welcome.”

*

He’s going to be late again. The clock was now on 11.58, and no shiny Honda had appeared. And he’ll probably be late every day until he gets fired. Jerk. Someone pulled in to the second pump and Dani took a look back at the clock before walking out to see if they wanted service, which they did, clicking the pump onto ‘continuous petrol, please’ mode and waiting for it to fill up, which took a while. He then took the payment, bade the customer farewell, and turned back to the shop.

Fucker.

Marc grinned back at him from inside, little wave as a greeting, and then carried on whatever he was doing. The church in the village across the valley faintly yelled 12 in the background.

How did you do that?!

The older rider walked around the forecourt to the back of the shop and peered round the corner: sure enough, an almost identical Honda was now parked next to his.

Fucker.

*

“Hello.” I guess I have to greet him, slightly. “Didn’t hear you arrive.”

You thought I was late again. Marc smiled at him, as sweetly and innocently as possible, and shrugged. “Were you listening out for me?”

“No.” The answer came a bit too quickly and left Dani even more irritated, Marc finding it hilarious how obvious he was being and flashing him another prize-winner of a grin.

“Oh, ok. You were outside, anyway, so I thought I’d get started.”

I bet. “Started on what?”

“Coffee.” Marc pulled a fresh cup of steaming espresso from behind the counter and smiled to himself at the begrudgingly annoyed gratitude on his colleague’s face. “This one’s for you.” Charm offensive: Day 2.

Dani grumbled slightly, accepted the cup, and then joined Marc behind the counter.

“Have a good evening?”

The older man took a measured sip of coffee, making him wait for the response; not wanting to give it. “Not really. Got rained on.”

Yes, you have to talk to me now. Unless you want to explain at some point why I fill you with disgust. “Ah, yeah. I just missed it. Luckily. Got home a few minutes before it started.”

A few minutes? “Lucky.” As always. “Thought you would have beaten it by a mile.”

“Well, I went the long way round to get back. Burnt off some frustration. Don’t tell the police…” Another iridescent sun-beam of a smile radiated across the space between them.

Frustration? “Oh, right.” Stop grinning at me. “Sounds good.”

“Wasn’t too bad. Then had a not-so-great encounter with the girlfriend and walked into town to fetch a pizza for my brother. How about you?”

Girlfriend. “Dried my stuff. Ate some pasta. Went to sleep. Tired. Had to be here early, so…” You missed the part about the gloriously fluffy cat.

You won’t be as tired as me, promise. “Ah. I spent the night in the garage working on the bike. I think my brother hates me for keeping him up, but…could be worse. And we have an outdoor shower at the moment, which is pretty amazing under the stars.”

Small talk with idiots. My favourite. “Great.” Cool water washing off that oil and grime…under the stars… Dani coughed slightly into his coffee and then shrugged. Flexing muscles…cool water... “Nice.”

“Yeah, it is. The girlfriend hates it, but…we love it. And in summer it’s ok, but…maybe in a couple of months we’ll finally pay a plumber to fix the actual shower.”

Girlfriend. God, just SHUT UP. “Ha. Yeah, I bet.”

Marc studied his face for a few seconds, sidelong glance that he was sure the older man couldn’t catch, and then smiled to himself. Maybe we have a tiny, tiny amount of progress. “So…couldn’t help but notice…we have the same bike.”

Oh, you did? “Yeah, we do.” Dani crumpled his cup and threw it in the bin behind him before letting himself out from behind the counter and walking off into the store room. You notice some things, then. “I guess we’re a good advert for the company.”

And…it’s gone. Marc watched him go and sighed to himself, wondering what he’d said that had closed the door on the conversation, knowing it was a case of his co-worker wanting out of it rather than actually having anything to do, and then let himself out onto the forecourt as someone pulled up. Charm offensive part 2: check it’s still in working order. He gave his same confident but-not-too-arrogant smile to the woman who had pulled in and felt it get more genuine by the second as she returned it. Oh, yes. Charm = functioning. Woman = beautiful.

“Good afternoon, madam. Can I…fill you up?”

Chapter Text

“Good day?”

Alex was draped over the sofa, fan on the floor opposite aimed straight at him, making him occasionally blink as the cool air hit him in the face.

“No.”

Marc was struggling to keep his eyes open. It was now almost 930pm, Dani had finished at 3 just after Alberto had arrived, and the younger rider had been at work until they’d closed up just after 9. Yes, he’d had a long lunch break after Dani had practically shoved him into the staff area, obviously wanting some peace from the ‘charm offensive’, but it was starting to take its toll slightly. In between keeping his bike, Alex’s bike and the race bikes going, he was also trying to run a house, which was harder than his mother had made it look, have a girlfriend? and be the first amateur to win 3 regional titles in a row. Which wasn’t easy. Or, it would have been easier, but everything else was enough anyway. And now a job. But that part certainly isn’t optional.

“Dani again?”

“Dani, and I’m tired. Don’t lecture me!” He grinned wearily at the look on his brother’s face, poised for an ‘I told you so’, and shook his head. “I know I caused a lot of it. But…seriously. It’s like I fucked his girlfriend and killed his mother. I don’t know what I’ve done to him, but he’s really not letting it go.”

“Some people are just like that.”

“But he’s not.” Marc flopped down in the chair next to the very-full sofa and stretched out his foot to edge the fan into a more just, equidistant position, earning a frown from Alex. “Not with Alberto. I heard them, when they switched over…I was outside but the door was open and there were no customers around…and he was laughing and joking like…a normal person. If I’d just heard that and he wasn’t being such a dick, I would…” How do I phrase this? “…really want to get to know him.” That will do.

“Well..I don’t know. But it’s only day 2, give him some time…” Get to know him.

“I know. It’s just…” Actually having an effect on me. “Getting a bit…” Don’t say- “…hard to swallow.” If you get me. Haha.

“Well, again…just ignore it? If you keep being nice, he can’t keep it up forever.”

“Hmm.” Marc rested his head back and sighed, staring at the ceiling. “I’ll try.”

*

Dani’s evening off started with a ride the very long way round back to his house enjoying the sun, leaving his jacket at the station and running the risk in jeans and a t-shirt. When he got back, he opened a beer and then he listened to his answer machine.

“You’ve still not sent that ring back, Dani. Can you do it, please? You know it’s important to me. And if you’ve sold it to pay for raci-“

He pressed delete before hearing her out, sighing and shaking his head at the idea of ever having been in love with her. But at least I found out before I put the other ring on her finger…

Marc had worked outside most of the day on his second day in the job, and that was meant to be his job. But the smile, the one he was spending every minute trying to ignore, was a powerful weapon and Dani could understand why Alberto had done it. Just one more thing he’s better at than me. The older rider was pretty sure the younger had pocketed 3 or 4 phone numbers from different women he’d charmed throughout the relatively short time they’d both been there, too, including one that must have been at least ten years older than him, although admittedly he would have given a limb for that scrap of paper, too. He’d mentioned that to Alberto and been shrugged off in the same way. “He’s a young guy just having a bit of fun. And it’s not bad for business.” “And if he calls them all once and then never calls again? That’s not good for business.” “Maybe not, we’ll see. But give the kid a chance.”

I did, I gave him a chance. And he threw me on the floor. He stripped everything off and left it in a trail between the front door and the shower, turning the water onto ‘as cold as possible’ and standing under it for a few minutes, thumb over the top of his beer before he eventually decided that was crossing some sort of line and he balanced it on top of the toilet cistern, realising that was also crossing a line but finding less judgment in his own brain for it. Finally. Peace. He then showered, collected the beer, and went and sat outside for a few minutes until his phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hi! It’s me. Still bruised?”

“No, not too bad. And yes he still has a job.”

“Urgh, what an asshole. Anyway, I’ve got the evening off and I’m somewhere north of Lleida. Went for a ride. Beer?”

“Sounds good. Where?”

“Wherever. I’ll come to you, and I’m paying. I owe you 50 or 60 beers by now.”

“Ok. Sounds good!” Genuinely does sound good. “Meet you at 9? I’m going to go to sleep for a couple of hours now…”

“Ok. You didn’t say where so I’m guessing at the Gaucho place?”

Gaucho place. That always made him smile, ever since they’d had the moment that had made it ‘The Gaucho Place’ in the other man’s mind. “Yeah, the Gaucho place. See you later.”

“Ok. And I’m sleeping on your floor. I’m not riding back in the middle of the night and limiting myself to one.”

“I guessed. See you later.”

*

“Are you going to go to bed soon?”

Marc snapped out of his half-doze with a little snort and stared at his brother. “Wha..?”

“Are you going to go to bed soon…”

“Oh. Maybe. Why?” He could see the ‘please can we just…’ already forming on Alex’s lips and started trying to muster any energy needed to say yes.

“Please can we just go out for a beer? Or two? I’ve been here all day and I want to kill things I’m so bored.”

He wakes you up and passes you tools, you don’t tell him how much the bills are and you try and never say no to making him smile. That’s how it works. “Ok.” More energy. “No problem. Let me grab a Red Bull, and we’ll walk down, yeah?”

“Thank you.” Alex grinned at him and bounced up off the sofa. “Sorry I know you’re tired.”

I am. I’m also frustrated enough to fuck half the town. “Nothing some caffeine won’t fight off.” Because of that pretty little chocolate-pools-for-eyes prick at work.

He was 21 now, and the first time he’d been with a guy was 3 years ago. He’d been too drunk to really think about being weirded out, the only things going to his brain being the sensory overload of fingers, tongues and skin, all of which had sent his eyes rolling back in his head, legs clamped around the guy’s waist, clamouring for more until he’d found himself crossing a line that would never be un-crossed. The next day he’d freaked out completely for a couple of hours, or, being honest, 8, then walked round town with his new hot-man enabled vision and found, to his surprise, that there were a few. Some older, some younger. Some obviously gay, some maybe, some pipe dreams. And he grew into it, learnt to recognise a smile from a smile, and had had a lot of fun. Fun that he’d never told to anybody, and fun that was going to come out at some point. Because it’s the kind of fun our house now has room to accommodate.

He splashed some cold water on his face and switched his shirt for a fresh one before necking a Red Bull and leaning against the sofa to wait for his brother.

Has he figured that out? Or would he freak out?

“Ready?”

He nodded at Alex and grabbed his denim jacket on the way out.

That that’s why I want this guy to like me? So, so much?

*

“So you and…sorry, I can’t remember her name…it’s over?”

Jorge nodded at him and necked some more beer from the bottle. “Yeah. Lucía. Over. Very over. As in, the fire damage cost me 2000 euros…” The Mallorcan raised his eyebrows in response to Dani’s face and nodded. “I know. Fucking bitch. Seriously. I miss-“

“Don’t. Not now. I miss her too.”

The amused confidante vibe suddenly turned somber and they sighed and took mirroring sips. “Sorry. I know. But…yeah. So, Lucía was fucking crazy. But work is good. We just opened our second shop, this one’s in Milan. So it’s going well. And I think I have a pair you can have tucked somewhere in my bag. Black, silver-ish lenses...”

“Good. And they don't actually sound too horrific.” He smiled and shrugged. You know. And I’m still here. “I’m happy for you!"

“Which is funny in itself.” Jorge grinned at him and shrugged at the friendly glare he got in return. “I hated you. I mean…well, no…I didn’t hate you. I just thought you were such a dick.”

“Funny, I’ve heard this story quite a few times, now. And I’m the dick? I’m not the one who sat in this very bar riding a chair, genuinely believing myself to be an Argentine cowboy.”

“Fuck off.”

“You sh-“ Dani stopped abruptly and felt his mouth drop open as his eyes caught it across the room. Marc. Marc? He tracked the figure across the room and managed to keep breathing. Definitely Marc. He zoned out as he watched the younger man greet a couple of people, watched his hand gently touch them in the middle of the back as he leaned in to say hi over the noise, watched the bartender nod at him and pass him two beers, one for him and whoever he was with, returning the smile that was radiating off him so easily. Marc.

“Hello?”

Dani snapped his mouth shut and looked back at Jorge. “What? Sorry. I-“

His friend turned, frowning, wondering what had caused that, before his eyes followed Dani’s gaze and settled on his 21-year old colleague. “Is that the guy by any chance?”

“The asshole? Yeah.”

Yeah, you’re looking at him in pure hatred. Nothing else at all… The Mallorcan studied him as he continued looking at Marc, trying to figure it out, and then made the eye contact that was offered back to him once Dani managed to break to tractor beam. “He’s getting to you isn’t he?”

“No.” Deep breath. “Look, I’m not denying he’s pretty hot. But he completely ruined my race on Sunday, and he didn’t apologise properly. And he doesn’t even remember me. Ok, that sounds stupid. I just mean…he acts like he owns everyone and everything. And he doesn’t even remember almost putting me in hospital. So selfish.”

“Hmmm.” That’s all it is, of course. No jealousy. “Well…I w-“

“I know what you’re going to say. Don’t judge people…I know. I didn’t. But now I have, because I know enough.”

But you want to know more. Jorge drained the last of the beer in his bottle and picked up his friend’s to take back to the bar, and refill. And recon. He walked over, drowning out the sounds of Dani trying to stop him, and leant on the bar right next to Marc, ignoring him but not rudely, making eye contact with the bar tender and putting the bottles down, asking and paying for two more, aware of the heat from the younger man leaning behind him. Facing away, but close. I knew it wasn’t going to be an experiment, that one guy before. This guy’s getting to you. He took the two new beers and turned again, nudging Marc accidentally-on-purpose but misjudging it slightly and spilling a couple of small splashes of beer on the younger rider’s shirt. His head turned towards Jorge and finally made eye contact.

Wow. “Sorry, man. Didn’t see you there.”

“No problem.” The younger man smiled at him, wide and genuine, and nodded his forgiveness. “I wasn’t paying attention either.”

I thought I was 100% straight. Maybe 99. “Can I buy you a beer? To apologise?”

“Sure. Never going to say no to a free beer.”

Jorge looked at the bartender again and then passed the bottle over. “Enjoy. Sorry again.”

“No problem. And thanks!”

And then Marc turned, tapped the guy he was with to get his attention, brother, looks like his brother and handed him the beer.

Selfish.

Jorge walked back over to Dani and put his beer down in front of him.

You'll have to explain that one.

*

“Marc.”

He turned back at the sound of his name, finding his Alex’s face smiling at him, tinged with something between caring and concern. “Yeah?”

“You know…that I know, right?”

“What?”

“I know.” Alex pointed at the guy Marc had spent the last 20 minutes pretending he was ignoring and smiled. “Take him home!”

Woah. The older brother felt himself flush slightly and red appear on his cheeks, not only over the comment, but also because of who he was looking at. “Wh-“

“It’s fine. You really thought I didn’t know?”

“I…er….I don’t know…I mean, I didn’t know how to-“

“You don’t have to. Go and talk to him.” Bless. “Go on! He’s cute. I mean…I imagine he would be…” He trailed off and shrugged. “You know what I mean.”

I do, but- “I can’t.” Marc blurted it out and then bit his lip as Alex frowned, never ever used to any sort of nervousness in situations like this. Not with girls, anyway.

“Why?”

He’d realise, eventually. Wouldn’t he? Probably. “Because…” Urgh. “That is Dani. From work.”

Alex’s mouth dropped open. “What!”

“Yeah.” Marc turned back to the bar and took a long swig of beer, staring straight ahead. “And I know he’s seen me, and he keeps looking at me. And not in a nice way.” And my jeans are going to burst.

*

By 11.30pm, Marc and Alex had a group of people round the bar. Marc had stopped drinking, noticed something other than Dani, and was getting himself ready to walk over and say hi to his new fixation. The girls in the group weren’t making it easy, though, and eventually he told them he was going to the bathroom, intending to walk the long way round through the people and find the guy. But the guy found him.

So they sneaked out the back way.

Jorge and Dani were on the balcony in the upstairs of the bar by this point, looking out across the town and reminiscing, Jorge trying to unravel why his friend seemed quite so downtrodden at the moment, when the quiet hum of crickets was interrupted by a laugh. They looked down, Dani with some sort of pre-knowledge on his face, prepared for it, and saw Marc. Laughing, with a guy maybe a few years older than him, walking out the bar, talking. Flirting. Strangers with a mutual attraction. This is going to be interesting. Jorge stole a look at Dani’s face and watched the conflicting emotions wage war before looking back down to the street.

Marc was now dragging the guy into the shadows cast by the next building, being pressed against the wall, hands raking over his date’s back, head against the wall, neck exposed and being covered in kisses, moans making their way up from the street to the onlookers' ears.

“I want to go home.” Dani’s voice cut through the spell as he slammed the beer down on the table and walked off. “Now.”

Chapter Text

They walked back in almost silence. Dani had made sure they used the opposite door to get back onto the street, which hadn’t surprised his friend, and they were now a few paces short of the older rider’s front door.

You can’t leave it there. “You said he was selfish.”

“He is.” Dani didn’t even break stride, seemingly having been waiting for something to be said. “He’s like the kid everyone loves and can’t see the faults with.”

Is he? “Ok. But…you saw what happened. I bought him a beer in apology, and he gave it to his brother.”

“Did he? Didn’t notice.”

Sure you didn’t. They walked in the door and left their jackets hanging off the backs of opposite chairs at the table. “Oh, well…he did. What time are you there tomorrow?”

“Twelve. He’s meant to be opening up.”

Like you don’t expect him to bother. “Right.”

*

Marc got home at 130am, tiptoed past Alex asleep on the sofa, and collapsed onto his bed.

This is going to hurt in the morning. He lifted his head and craned his neck to look in the mirror nearby. No sign yet. But it’s going to be ugly.

And then he went back to wondering if he should feel guilty or not.

Mainly, I just feel tired. Tired, unprepared for tomorrow, and happily spent.

His mind replayed the night’s activities and smiled to himself before starting to pull off items of clothing.

Tonight was good. Other than the physical violence. Tonight was good.

He sighed and flopped back down, eyes closed.

But-

Don't-

...I admit, this isn’t enough. I should be lying here naked next to someone who cares.

*

Jorge had said his goodbyes reasonably early. He’d spent the rest of the time there trying to figure out what was going on in Dani’s head – results of which survey were still being counted. He did know two things, though. 1) The kid was far further under his skin than ‘he’s an asshole’ could ever explain and 2) It was getting worse. The feeling that Dani was just settling more and more every day, aware of it but unable to stop it somehow, being pulled down by the town and the situation.

Still no moving date. No plan. Just ‘tomorrow’, ‘tomorrow’, ‘tomorrow’.

So he made him absolutely promise to talk to him properly on the phone soon, and tried to make him promise to be a bit less harsh on his co-worker. That part he wasn’t sure would happen. Although, in all honesty, he wasn’t sure about the first part either.

Dani got to the station at 11.55am to find it shut.

*

I knew it. He seethed his way over the forecourt and pulled his keys out his jacket pocket. I fucking knew it. Once the door was open, he concentrated on making the station itself fully open, then picked up the phone to call Alberto.

“Hi.”

“Morning. Everything ok?”

“He’s not here. It was shut. No message.”

“What?!”

“Yeah. He didn’t come in.”

“Fuck. Right…but you’re there now?”

“I am. You’re going to fire him, then?”

“I’m going to call him and figure out what’s going on.”

“Don’t bother. What’s going on is that he went out last night drinking and fucked a stranger. Knew he wouldn’t be here. Bye.”

He slammed the phone down and then tried to conjure a smile for his first customer of the day.

Idiot.

*

“Hi, Marc. This is Alberto. Dani called and said you weren’t there…if you could call me and let me know what’s happening? Thanks.”

Fuck. He looked through the missed calls list and winced further. Great. Now I’m going to be an even bigger idiot to him. And maybe fired.

He sighed and hovered his thumb over ‘Call’ for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and listening to it ring.

*

“Hi. Not shown up yet?”

Dani shook his head at his boss and shrugged. “No. You expect him to?”

“I don’t know. He’s not returned any of my calls, yet.”

“He probably won’t. Just typical.”

“There might be a good reason.”

“Like, ‘sorry, I was fucking wallpapered and went home with a stranger’?”

Alberto raised his eyebrows at the choice of words and then shook his head. “No. A good reason. And it’s none of our business what he does in his spare time. It might be completely unrelated.”

“No chance.”

*

Marc squinted up at the sun again and cursed his choice of black shirt. Fuck, it’s hot. He was now on Ring 5, and starting to think maybe his boss wasn’t going to answer.

Fired. Fired. Fired.

*

Alberto pulled his phone out and looked up at Dani in some sort of satisfaction as he saw who it was. “It’s him.”

“So he called to lie to your face, great.”

“Pff.” The older man pressed ‘answer’ and turned away from his employee. “Hello?”

“Hi. It’s me…Marc…”

“Thanks for calling me back.”

“Sorry, yeah…I had no signal inside.”

“Inside?”

“The hospital. I mean…my brother got hit by a car on his way to work…I got to the station before my phone rang, then turned round. It’s probably on the CCTV so please believe me and please don’t fi-“

“Slow down, it’s ok. Sounds like you have a good reason.”

“I…” The younger rider trailed off and Alberto could hear the emotion in his voice. Normally so confident, suddenly so shaky. “I didn’t know what to do…who to call…I only just thought about it because they’ve checked him over now, properly, and he’s ok. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry-“

“It’s ok. We’re both here now, don’t worry about it. He’s ok?”

“Yeah he’s fine. I’m free now. Well…maybe in a few minutes when I’ve calmed down. Alex is fine…he’s fine. He’s fine. So...I…can I come in? He’s fine. Fi-“

Keep saying it until it sinks in, and relax. “Don’t worry about it, just stay at home.”

“I don’t want to stay at home. Please. I want to get out of here and be distracted. Please.”

Alberto sighed and finally looked back at Dani’s face. Unimpressed. “If you’re not in shock or anything, then ok. You can switch with me and we can pretend I got here early.”

Marc took a deep, deep breath and tried to force his shoulders to relax. “Thank you.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll see you soon. Any time. And be careful.”

“I will. Thanks. Again.”

He’s fine. Deep breath. He’s fine.

*

“So what did he say? Good excuse? Alarm clock?”

“No.” Alberto was now fully convinced that it was the complete truth, even before the CCTV had been checked. No one sounds like that when they’re lying. He was barely making sense. “Not alarm clock. His brother got hit by a car.” He took in the younger man’s shocked expression and felt a bit of satisfaction. “Yeah. Not an excuse, an emergency. And he says there’s CCTV to prove it.” He pulled out the little monitor and went through the menu to playback, rewinding to the time he expected, aware Dani was completely silent behind him, watching. 4 minutes before they were meant to open, a Honda appeared on the screen and stopped. The rider took a phone call, bent down onto the tank obviously trying to pull themselves together, and then screamed away. Alberto looked back at Dani, trying to not be too smug. “You believe him, now?”

Oh God. “Y-yeah.” Guilt.

“Good. So he says he might be here soon, wants to take his mind off it. So you’re closing up with him.”

Great. “Ok.” Just great.

*

“It’s me.”

“Marc. Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Cough. “Alex is fine, too. But he had an accident; I thought you should know.”

“Alex?! What happened? He’s ok?”

The bit you’re not going to like… “He’s fine. He’s been checked over and he’s awake, nothing broken. He’s staying in the hospital overnight to just check he’s ok. He…er…he got knocked off his bike. At low speed, by a car-“

“Oh, I see. He’s ok?”

“He’s fine.” Don’t lecture me. “I got there as soon as I could, and he was already ok then. Just a bit of a shock.”

“You weren’t with him?”

“No, I was just getting to work when someone rang me from his phone. I got back quickly though.”

No answer for a few seconds. Which says everything. “Ok. Well get him to call us when he’s feeling better?”

“Within a few hours, I’m sure.”

“Ok. Thanks for letting us know.”

“No problem.” I miss you. “Talk to you soon, mum. Bye.”

“Bye, honey.”

Marc put the phone down and bit his lip, feeling all the things that he’d read between the silent lines. I miss you. And I know you’ll think it’s my fault. But I miss you. And he’s fine.

I should have been there.

He’s fine.

He went back inside and mirrored his brother’s smile. “Don’t worry, I’m going.”

“Good. I’m fine.”

“I know.” Marc pulled his little brother’s forehead closer and pressed a kiss against it. “I’m just trying to convince myself of that. And I called mum and dad. They want you to call them when you feel better, later.”

“Ok. Thank you. And I’m fine. Go.”

“Going.” He looked back before heading out the door. He’s fine. “Love you.”

“You too.”

*

The ride back to the station was filled with moments when he felt his heartrate amp up and all he could see was his brother lying on the floor; unable to help, unable to stop them flashing up. But that won’t be him. That wasn’t him. That was me. He tried to just keep breathing, double check every mirror, ride like he was being tested. So it took him 40 minutes from the hospital to get back to work. That was me. And I’m fine, now. He’s fine now.

And you… He saw Dani inside behind the counter. Not now. Not today.

He pulled his helmet off once he’d parked up and walked inside, not saying a word to either of them and locking himself in the bathroom, needing a few minutes to remind himself who he was.

God, what is wrong with me?

He stared himself down in the mirror and took one final, calming breath, noticing his black eye and wincing. Forgot about that. Ow. He tried to blur it out and stared a few more seconds.

That was me. And it happened, and we’re moving on. Come on. Moving on.

“You ok?”

He walked out and nodded his head slightly at Alberto, shrugging and trying to play it down. I thought… “No, but I’d rather be here. Thanks. And I’m so-“

“Don’t apologise again. And I’m glad to hear he’s fine.”

I should have been there. “He is, or he will be. He basically pushed me out the room…”

“Good!” Alberto smiled and offered him the coffee he was holding. “For you. Start whenever you think you can. More ladies to charm, more numbers to collect…”

Marc noticed Dani’s face change behind his manager and wondered what that was about, making sure he smiled in response and didn’t look at him. “Not sure I’ll be very successful at that, today.”

Dani coughed.

“Well…” Alberto smiled and shrugged. “That’s disappointing.”

It is. He felt some of the shock gradually starting to wear off and took a sip of coffee, grinning back at him. “Maybe today I’ll try my luck with some of the guys…” Haha. Go on...splutter...

Dani coughed again, and Alberto went red.

“Well…” What?! “…well, yeah. That too. If you want!”

Yeah, that too. Marc smiled to himself and walked back into the sun, risking a look back at his surly colleague, who was looking at him and desperately trying to pretend he wasn’t. They made the slightest of eye contact before the younger man put his coffee down and walked over to the first customer. I do want.

Inside, the older rider looked up as his manager coughed.

“Did he, er…have a black eye?”

Chapter Text

“What happened to your face?”

Marc almost fell out his chair as his colleague suddenly spoke; no warning given and until then no conversation since he’d been offended and had his curiosity sparked in equal measure by Dani's lack of small talk about what had happened. “I, er…had a disagreement with a guy last night.”

“Hmm. What about?” Please don’t say he hurt you. All he could see was Marc’s neck from the night before, being eaten alive. Where did THAT come from?!

“His boyfriend.”

Dani found himself going red and was grateful he was unobserved. Ah. Ok. “What did you do?”

Marc smiled to himself and looked out the window, normal cheek back in place more than it had been when he’d arrived, more since he’d tried and failed to make an attempt at conversation before, letting the moment and the timing come to fruition. Well… “Only what he asked me to…”

“Which was?”

The younger rider shrugged to himself and then suddenly turned and locked his eyes on his colleague’s. “I’d be happy to show you, if you’d like?”

Dani stood there staring, unable to react properly, unable the form a response, unable to escape from the labyrinthine eyes locked onto his. God. “That’s ok. Sounds like I don’t want to know.” I want to know every single detail.

Marc hopped down off his chair as another customer pulled in and grinned to himself, walking out the door in the same way he had a hundred times already, inviting the other man to watch him go. Sounds like you do.

*

“I bet you thought I’d just fucked off.”

Dani cringed and kept his eyes concentrated on the till that he was trying to reset. “N-no.”

“Hmm. I think so. Because you seem to hate me. I’m not sure why, and I don’t really care anymore. But it was a real thing. I’m not making it up.” Shouldn’t have said ‘anymore’…

Anymore. “I don’t hate you. But yeah, I thought you were just in bed. Or still drunk.”

Knew it. Marc kept looking at him, wondering if he’d ever look back at him. Probably not. “What? Why?”

Shit. “That’s the image you give off.”

What?! “Image? What? You don’t even know me!”

More than you think. “Don’t I? Doesn’t matter what I think, then. But I’m sorry I thought that and I hope your brother is ok.”

“He is.” He’s fine. “Thank you.”

“I saw you. Last night. Leaving the bar.”

Oh so we pretend we didn’t do that eye-contact tango for half an hour? You’re unbelievable. “I saw you in the bar. Your friend spilled his drink on me. In fact…yeah. The guy who looks like me but a bit taller? That’s my brother. But anyway, I saw you. Then I left, yeah. With a very hot guy.”

Dani wasn’t sure when he’d started grinding his teeth, but he was extremely grateful that the other man didn’t seem to have noticed. “Yeah, I saw you.”

“Oh. Right. Well…you didn’t say hello.”

“You had your tongue down a stranger’s neck; you wouldn’t have been able to answer.”

Marc felt his mouth drop open and he stared for a few seconds before being able to process that. “Is that a problem?”

“No.”

“Sounds like a problem! I did go home with a stranger. And I enjoyed it, a lot. And I’ve done it before and I’ll probably do it again. Not that it’s any of your business.”

He walked off and left the other man to his ignoring, alone. FUCK YOU.

*

They locked up in silence, Marc letting his annoyance grow and grow as the other man did nothing to dispel it, feeling like he wanted to just yell at him about how he was so wrong but knowing that would contribute to him thinking he was right.

It was raining again; the same kind of rain as before. The kind that suddenly appears like a sheet of water and soaks you to the bone. Big, round, warm drops of summer rain that would only need a few hours to burn off and disappear as though they’d never been there. Marc ran out from the cover and towards his bike first, turning once he’d got there to see Dani doing the same but with an umbrella. Oh, thanks for telling me. They both pulled their helmets out the bags they’d left balanced on the seats and put them on at the same time, no words exchanged, before Dani looked down and swore.

“Fuck.”

Marc followed his gaze and sighed as he saw the problem. Flat. “Fuck.”

Why do you care. Just go. The older rider pulled his helmet off and sighed, face up to the rain. “I guess I’ll go back in and call-“

“What? Why?”

“What do you mean, why?”

“I mean, why? You’ve got another tyre in there. Levers, ev-”

“Yeah. But it’s easier to just-“

You’ve got to be kidding. “No. Get the tyre, and everything else. And come back.” He pulled his helmet off and put it back on the seat. “Seriously. Go.”

Dani sullenly put the umbrella back up and did as he was told, annoyed at being ordered around but intensely grateful for the possibility being offered. He took everything back outside, started trying to help, and then got frowned at intensely with enough venom to make him seriously back off.

“Leave me alone. I know what I’m doing.”

Fine. He sighed and watched the younger man unzip his jacket, eyes following the zipper as it lowered, biting his lip to try and ignore it. And thank you.

Marc followed that with his shirt, balling it up under the jacket to keep it dry and flexing his shoulders, movements irritated but resigned. Dani’s eyes followed each drip of water on the path from neck, through his shoulder blades, and down to his waistband, hating him for the gratuitous show and equally wondering how he’d ever want to touch anybody else ever again. And then the younger rider turned slightly, and Dani frowned. What is that? He tried to pretend he was looking past him to get a better look at something else, eventually looking away and taking a deep breath. That…is a massive scar. It wasn’t ugly, and it was hardly noticeable anymore. It had obviously been there a few years. And it obviously must have seriously hurt.

After a few minutes of that staring, thinking and salivating, he remembered the umbrella in his hands and held it over the younger man. Marc shared a smile with the asphalt. Manners. Wow. Thank you.

After a further while, some mild swearing and some elbow grease, Marc finally stood, looked at him and smiled. By that time; a genuine, full smile with nothing in it except one question: I’ve finished. Did I do ok?

“Right. Just needs pumping.”

*

The ride home was filled with less moments of panic, but walking in the door to the house was strange. Alex wasn’t there and he wasn’t going to be there until the next day. All night, alone. He grabbed some random bits of food that were in the fridge and ate those, no common thread between the different things, then sat down on the sofa and found himself a mirror image of that of his brother from the evening before. As long as it’s that way round. Me mirroring him. He pulled up his shirt and traced the scar with his fingers. Weird. I don’t usually think about you at all. But today I can’t forget you. He turned on the TV and flicked round a few channels, eventually finding a documentary about Ferrari and leaving that on in the background whilst he tidied up, throwing some clothes in the washer and turning it on before eventually going out and washing himself in the outdoor shower, usual ritual of failure to find the right products followed by staring at the sky.

I don’t know who I’m talking to. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. But you don’t do that to Alex, ever again.

He turned the tap off once he’d hopped out and wrapped the towel round his waist before walking back in and feeling the same strange silence hit him, deciding to call and check on him. And he was fine, and he’d called their parents, and he was going to sleep and told Marc to do the same. So he did.

And I didn’t call her.

And I’m definitely not thinking about that adorable little jealous dickhead and the way he looked at me in the rain.

Not at all.

*

So, maybe I was wrong. A bit. Maybe he deserves another chance. Partly. We'll see.

Dani sighed and resigned himself to the excessive electricity bill, turning the fan next to his bed onto full and lying down to bask in the coolness, skin shivering from the air or the memory he wasn't sure.

I’m definitely not thinking about that confusing, arrogant, caring dickhead and the way I looked at him in the rain.

Not at all.

Chapter Text

“You don’t need to come until 4.”

“Oh. I was just heading out the door.”

“I know. But if you and Marc come at 4, I’ll stay until then…I have a favour to ask…”

Dani sighed and locked eyes with himself in the mirror: favours for Alberto weren’t ‘a double espresso’, they were more ‘can you drive this to Algeciras’. “Right…” Dani’s tone was not amused, and his manager smiled to himself and cringed in equal measure.

“I know. And yeah, it’s another one like that…”

“Ok, what is it?” And ‘you and Marc I do NOT like the sound of. “Algeciras?”

“Not that bad.”

“Spit it out.”

“Toulouse.”

Dani sighed again and watched his shoulders drop in sigh. “Right…when?”

“Er…tonight. Marc can be second driver, so it shouldn’t be too bad.”

Yes, that will improve things no end. Stuck in a cab with him for hours. “Right…”

“Thanks, Dani. You know I appreciate it.”

I bet he has horrible taste in music. “Yeah. I know. See you in a few hours, then.”

“Thanks! Oh, and…”

There’s more. Of course there’s more. “And…?”

“And…Marc didn’t want to leave his bike at the station overnight. Only one of them will fit in the staff space…so I said you’d bring him.”

Great. Another sigh. Just great. “Ok. Text me his address before 3.”

“Don’t worry, I told him yours. He’ll walk up to meet you about 330.”

OH GREAT I LOOK FORWARD TO IT. “Ok…”

“Thanks! See you in a bit!”

You will. Unless I ride off in the opposite direction and sit on a beach in Tarifa instead. “Yeah. Bye.”

*

He tried to pretend he wasn’t looking out for him, but book or no book in his hand, playing mind games with himself or not, he was looking at the street waiting for any sign of the younger rider. It appeared at about 3.27pm, walking up in big strides, knowing he was going to be late if he didn’t give it some pace, and Dani found himself involuntarily licking his lips.

It was a hot day, and Marc had gone for the hot outfit to go with it. Dark jeans over trainers, white vest on top, muscles toned enough to be sculpted but not enough to look silly. Carrying a leather jacket and helmet, small bag, dark sunglasses on, smiling to himself in the sun.

He is perfection.

Dani nodded at him as he was noticed and tried not to let some of the drool drip down off the terrace onto the street.

On the outside only.

He went back inside and got to the front door just as Marc appeared behind it, pulling it open and trying to not scowl at him or drool on him.

“Hi. Ready?”

“Ready. Where are we going? France?”

“Yeah. Passport? We won’t need it, but-”

“Yeah, got it.” The younger rider held up the bag in his hand and smiled. “This wasn’t in the job description!”

But you look so happy about it. “I know. I once drove to Algeciras to deliver stuff, though. So it could be worse.”

“Worse?” Marc lead the way out onto the street and frowned at him. “You mean better.”

“Better?”

“Well, yeah. It’s something different at least, and no customers to talk to.”

Yeah, exactly. Just you. “Hmm, well…” He trailed off and hoped he wouldn’t be asked to complete the sentence, which he wasn’t, before pulling on his helmet and gloves. “You take responsibility for what you’re wearing. If we-“

“It’s fine. Not that far.” The younger rider flipped up his visor and made eye contact. “I trust you.”

You trust me. Why? “Ok.” Now for the bit where I try and ride us to work with your hands all over me. He got on the bike and winced as Marc’s hand clapped him on the shoulder and he felt him swing his leg over and then melt against him. Heaven or hell. Or so much heaven, it becomes hell. “Ok?”

“Yeah. But…I’m going to hold onto you. I trust you, but I’ll feel better like that. Ok?”

Dani listened to the words and risked a look in the mirror, seeing Marc staring back at him with smiling eyes. “You’re not used to riding p-“

“It’s not that. With my brother crashing yesterday – he’s fine and back at home now – and…” He coughed and broke the eye contact, some of the cheer quickly disappearing from the explanation. “…some other stuff…I don’t like not being in control.”

Me neither. And other stuff? Like that huge scar? “Ok.” The older rider nodded at him and then felt every pore in between his feet and head shiver as Marc’s hands gently moved round from his back to his front, seemingly enjoying their journey too. Sweet Jesus. Cough. “Right. Vamonos.”

What felt like seconds later when they arrived, he actually felt disappointed when the friction between them vanished and Marc got off the back. Pulling his helmet off, ruffled hair, smiling as though it hadn’t been almost literally a hard situation to deal with.

And I’ll be looking at that face for the next 14 hours. At least.

He sighed and pulled off his own helmet, following his co-worker inside and risking a look down at his crotch to check he was public-friendly.

Pretty much. On the outside.

*

The first 2 hours were pretty quiet. They’d wheeled Dani’s bike inside and made room on a stock room shelf for their helmets, had a coffee with Alberto and got the brief, and then set off; Dani driving first. Dani would drive there, and Marc would drive back. That was the plan.

The rain of the night before had vanished as quickly as they’d expected and it was baking hot again. They followed the heat shimmer down towards Manresa like it was the North Star before turning up towards the border, headed for Puigcerdà, Marc seeming quite tired in the passenger seat and not trying to fill the silence with too many words, content to stare out the window and enjoy the feeling of going somewhere. Dani chose the music, and to his surprise, Marc approved of a lot of it. Not put up with it, but actually enjoyed it. He knew most of the words Dani knew and they’d found themselves singing along a couple of times, quietly, before realising they were both doing it and sharing a smile. Which Dani then tried to shake off and stared out the window, and Marc smiled at that reaction even more. I may be breaking him down.

They stopped for food, fittingly, at a Repsol station somewhere on the E-9, the mountains looming ahead of them and, by that point, some behind. To Dani’s horror, that seemed to bump start Marc’s usual energetic sparkle and the younger rider was suddenly animated and fuelled for as any more laps as were needed. Now, there was nowhere to hide, and Dani found himself forced into idle chatter about everything from Valentino Rossi to Brazilian beach etiquette, via a detour to ‘wow, did you see him? He was hot’ every 10 or 15 minutes. That didn’t bother him as much as the rest of it, until he realised why he was asking.

He knows I might agree.

Dani felt his palms start to sweat slightly. He was happily and comfortably bisexual, although it wasn’t something he’d gone around announcing, but he’d never knowingly said or done anything in Marc’s company that should have given that away.

Maybe I did drool on him.

“I don’t care what face is hidden under that AGV.” Marc pointed out the window past his colleague. “I would still eat dinner off that ass.”

The older rider found himself caught between feigning disinterest and desperation to check, before finally realising that no ass was worth losing over internal politics. He looked over and saw no one, not even in the distance although they were doing 120, and then looked back at Marc, puzzled. “Where?”

“I lied.” The younger of the two laughed evilly and grinned back at him, eyes sparkling. “Just wanted to check I was right..”

Dani went red and stared resolutely straight ahead, gritting his teeth.

Bastard.

*

The chatter continued, the asses were pointed out more readily than ever, and Dani was amazed by how Marc didn’t fizzle out. He kept his normal attitude and reminded himself of why he didn’t like him and didn’t want to talk to him, but the younger rider seemed to give no shits and continued singing, talking and pointing. They crossed the border easily, fuelling at the last Repsol in Puigcerdà since neither spoke French, and then Marc came out the shop brandishing Red Bull.

Oh, just what I wanted to see. Fresh rubber at the final stop.

“Want one?” The younger slipped back into the cab of the van and put the two in the cup holders. “I didn’t know if you would so I bought one for you. And…I think I now have 3 euros left in my account. So Alberto had better pay me back for the fuel.”

“He will. Double wages and everything paid for, he’s reliable.”

“Good. You want one?”

I was trying to avoid that question, because I don’t, really, no. But the thought of you drinking two is making me sweat. “Please. Thanks.”

Marc smiled and cracked the other one open, leaving it in the left hand cup holder with a little flourish and making Dani’s brain replay that comment from Jorge.

“He gave that beer to his brother…” “Thanks.”

“No problem. And you smiled. Wow.” Shouldn’t have said that. He’ll clam up again.

And he did, until they arrived at the warehouse, unloaded and changed drivers. Marc navigated them back to the border, they stopped in Puicerdà again for snacks, Marc this time being the one begrudgingly smiling at his companion as he returned with the treats, and then carried on.

And broke down.

Chapter Text

“FUCK.” Dani groaned and lifted the bonnet, steam rising and adding to the mist that was already forming around them. 1am, dark, and in the middle of nowhere. With him. “FUCK!”

“I know. We have breakdown cover, right?” Marc smiled hopefully at him and raised his eyebrows. “Because I’m guessing we don’t know how to fix it, or what it is.”

The older rider stared at him for a couple of seconds, wondering how he was still smiling, and nodded. “Yes. But FUCK.”

“Buttfuck?” Marc grinned and winked at him, earning himself a substantial glare. “Oh seriously when are you going to lighten the fuck up? We broke down. It happens. I am irritated, but it’s pointless so let’s just decide what to do.”

HOW ARE YOU SO CALM. “Fucking fountain of wisdom.”

“Well…yeah. You don’t…” He trailed off and aborted whatever he had been intending to say, changing direction half way through. …get back to the top by being negative. “…know what’s happened, right?”

“No idea.”

“So…ring the breakdown people.”

“FINE. OK? FINE.” Dani ripped his phone out of his pocket and dialled a number, turning away from his colleague in the process, angry beyond reason. “Hi. I’ve broken down…YES…932612…somewhere just down from Puigcerdà. Maybe two kilometres…yeah…NO…ok.” He risked a look at Marc, who was peering over under the bonnet, and waited for the operator to come back. “Hello. Yeah, still here.” WHERE WOULD I HAVE GONE? “Right…WHAT?!...SERIOUSLY?! Fuck’s sake… Right… No… I don’t know, hang on. Let me ask my friend.” He turned back to Marc just in time to catch the last of a smile reacting to the word ‘friend’, anger momentarily clouded by something else. But it quickly came back. “He says it’s going to be 3 hours.”

“3 hours?”

“Yeah.”

“Well I’m not sitting here for 3 hours.”

“So what do you suggest? Hmm? Just go for a fucking hike or what?!”

“Hey! Stop yelling at me. It’s not my fault! Although I know you seem to think everything is, but pfff. I meant walk back to the town and find a hotel.” He pouted at him and shrugged, anger much more easily sparked by rudeness and unfairness than the breakdown itself. “Hmm?”

“Yeah, you’d love that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means it gives you more chance to fucking talk at me and generally piss me off.” And invite me to fuck you with your eyes.

“You are something else.” The younger rider ripped the passenger door open and grabbed his bag. “That’s what I’m going to do. Tell your call center boyfriend you’re going to sit here for 3 hours because you’re too much of a prick to be nice to me. Have a nice night, asshole.”

He put the bag over his shoulder and started walking as Dani’s sense suddenly starting to catch up with his mouth, guilt at the knee jerk irritation starting to sink in. Fuck. He put the phone back to his ear and tried again. “Hi. Sorry.” Deep breath. “How much of that did you hear?...right…sorry. Yeah, send it for 9am if you can…We’re going to get a hotel…Yes he did walk off…yes I’m going to follow him…no he’s not…we just work together…ok bye…no really, bye….thanks…BYE.”

He cancelled the call and put it back in his pocket before sighing and looking up at the sky for a couple of seconds. The mist was coming, but most of the stars were still visible. Fuck. He wearily walked round to grab his bag, locked the van, and then started after Marc, feeling the chill and grateful for the pace.

“Wait!”

“No!”

“Please! Marc? I’m sorry!”

“Too late!”

Dani jogged the last few paces and was finally close enough to reach and grab his hand. “Please…”

“Urgh.” The younger rider gave in and rolled his eyes, coming to a stop. “What? Sorry now? That’s a first.”

“The irony.”

“What?!”

Not that, not now. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down again. “Sorry. I was just angry and stressed.”

“So you’ve been angry and stressed since the day you met me, then?”

“No. Look…ok…I’m sorry. I’m sorry. If you want to talk, then ok. Otherwise…at least let’s just…calm down.”

“I’m calm; you’re the one being a dick. Again.”

ARGGGGGHHH. “YES! Ok. This time I am being a dick. I’ve stopped. Let’s go and find a hotel, right?” Please, before we get onto topics we aren’t going to like? “Please?”

Marc sighed and looked down the road ahead. “Right. Fine. Great.”

It was a long 2 kilometers.

*

“Hi. I really hope you have a room left?”

They’d decided after a very passive aggressive discussion that a twin room would be bearable.

“Good evening. Yes, we do. Just the one! 90 Euros for the night.”

The two riders smiled at each other awkwardly and then back at the receptionist. “Great. Twin?”

“No, I’m afraid it’s a double. A large one, if you don’t like the idea of sharing…?”

Marc covered his smile with one hand as Dani seemed to physically give up and lean forward to rest his forehead on the countertop, receptionist looking at Marc in concern and getting only a wry smile in return. Oh Lord, thank you.

“I think we’ll be ok.” Marc winked at her and nodded towards Dani. “He’s just had a long day.”

*

“Right, I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“Don’t be stupid.”

The bickering had lasted up every stair from the lobby to ‘their’ room, which they were now just about inside.

“I’m serious, I’ll be fine.”

“Or you could just not be such a dick and sleep on the same piece of comfy mattress as me. Because that’s all it is. A soft thing big enough for two people to sleep on.”

“Yeah, I’d rather sleep on the floor.”

“Am I dangerous?”

Lethal. “No. I just like my space.”

“So do I, but not on a hard wooden floor.”

“Well yeah I realised, since you didn’t offer.”

“Offer? To make an issue out of something that’s slightly annoying but also funny?”

“Funny?”

“Yeah? Seriously…” Marc dumped his bag and jacket on the chair and then ripped off the vest, unbuttoning his jeans, all practicality, not that the reason for the show made any impression on Dani. “You need to just…lighten up.” The younger rider lay down on one side of the bed and put his hands behind his head, yawning. “It’s weird, annoying and funny. Like you. Some of the time. When you’re not being so rude that I feel like quitting and giving everything up.”

Ouch. Dani hung his head slightly and felt a whole new wave of guilt. “Sry.”

“What?”

“Sorry.” He made eye contact and nodded. “Sorry.”

“Wow.”

“Don’t. Don’t do that. At least I can apologise. Properly.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means you fucking didn’t.”

“Here we go again. What the fuck did I do to you?”

“You want to know?”

“YEAH, I REALLY DO. Because this is ridiculous. I’m not a bad person, and you seem to think I’m actually the devil.”

“Ok. Fine.” Dani dumped his bag and followed the same pattern, clothes off quickly, intensely grateful he’d put on black boxers that morning. “You know what you did? This.” He pointed down to where a faint bruise was still visible, along with a couple of more painful looking marks and scratches on his ribcage, eyes then involuntarily tracing the scar on Marc, too. “You did this. At Turn 1. And my bike was fucked. And yours got to the end of the race, and you won the race, and it took you 4 hours to come and apologise to me. And you ran over to where I was about to leave and gave that pathetic excuse for a ‘sorry’ and then ran off to go and celebrate. And I know I was wearing my helmet in the race, and when you came over to apologise, if that’s what it was, but you don’t even fucking remember. I’m number 26, Marc. The guy you almost put in hospital.”

Oh holy fuck. The younger rider’s face went white as all the little pieces started fitting together, breath catching in his throat and everything going white hot, scene after scene replaying like some horrific guilt-montage. I knew I recognised you, somehow.

He closed his eyes and rubbed his hands over his face, trying to figure out how to respond to that, only one thought a constant in the mess.

Those eyes. How did I not remember those eyes?

Chapter Text

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, exactly. So stop wondering why I’m seemingly so immune to your charms and just fucking give it up. I already know what you’re like, so stop trying to pretend you’re this sparkly wonderkid who’s nice to everybody.”

Marc listened to the outburst and felt guilt changing back into anger. “Hey. Stop it. Give me a chance to explain!”

“I don’t need an explanation. You already explained who you are when you did that, so let’s just move on in the knowledge that we’re not going to be friends, ok?”

“No! Not ok!” The younger rider sat up and spread his arms. “You’re going to judge me on one moment? That’s all you need? What if I’d just found out my mother had cancer? What if I’d lost a sponsor? What if my granddad had died? What if I was fucking snowed under with worrying about everything that I just wanted to enjoy the peace of having won? Hmm? One moment can’t define everything, Dani. And for the record, I’m so so sorry. It was my mistake, and I know that, and I’ll never do it again. And I’m sorry I didn’t remember you. But I’m not what you think I am. What am I to you, just someone who effortlessly has everything fall into their lap for free and fucks everything that moves?”

“Pretty much.” Except me.

“Well I’m NOT. Ok? And I don’t know why I even care what you think if I’m that person to you and you needed five minutes to decide. I hit you in turn 1? That can happen. It was my mistake and I’m sorry but it’s happened to me before, too, and it will happen again, I’m sure.”

“How are you not?”

“Don’t you know me at all, yet? Really? Like the fact I’m even sat here apologising now? I’m sorry.”

“Too late.”

“It’s never too late if you mean it. And I’m sorry that I didn’t remember you. And your eyes. I can’t believe I didn’t remember your eyes.”

Dani felt himself going slightly red at that - what the fuck does that mean?- and then shaking his head. “Like I said, you already proved who you are.”

“You don’t know anything about me. Not really. And ok so I made that mistake, and it hurt you. I also stood outside in the rain changing your tyre!”

“I didn’t ask you to do that!”

“No, exactly! You didn’t have to ask because to me, if you can help someone you should!”

Hmm. Right. “Like fucking someone’s boyfriend? When you have a girlfriend?” Yes, that will be helpful.

“Fuck you! I didn’t know he had a boyfriend! And I certainly do not have a girlfriend. I have someone who thinks she’s taking me for an idiot except that I know she’s doing it. Again, though…it’s not like it has anything to do with you!”

“Right, fine. Whatever you say.”

“No! I’m not giving up on this because you’re just plain wrong. How do you think I got here? Hmm? Paint me a picture of how everything has gone my way and made me into whatever you think I am.”

Dani sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, shrugging in the hopeless knowledge that he wasn’t going to let it go. “I don’t know.”

“I think you do.”

“Ok, FINE.” Another shrug. “You grew up around bikes, you liked them. Then you rode one, and you found you were pretty good at it. Your parents probably helped you up the ladder. And probably pay for your house since you didn’t seem to have a job before now. Then at some point you got distracted by all this fucking and drinking and hanging out with your brother, and now you’re finally making an effort because you’ve realised you’re actually good at it.”

Whatever Marc had been expecting, it hadn’t been quite that.

“Right. Ok.” He got up off the bed and looked out the balcony doors for a couple of seconds, mood suddenly deflated from yelling, Dani realising that might have been too far. If the emotion in the younger man’s voice was enough to prove that, then it was proven. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Don’t talk to me.” And then he went outside onto the balcony, putting his vest back on on the way, and stared straight ahead for a while, trying to calm down. And finally, wondered whether it was worth explaining anyway.

And deciding it was.

I don’t know why but I feel like 8 or 9 years ago, you would never have thought that. And you would have smiled at me all the time like you have once or twice when you’ve forgotten what you think you know about me. But I’m the one with the problem, apparently.

*

“Ok.” Marc came back in and cleared his throat. “You’re wrong. You’re very wrong, and I think you can tell how upset I am about what you said, so I’m going to explain. Even though I shouldn’t have to.”

“Look, I know. I’m so-“

“Just shut up and listen.”

“Fine.” Dani nodded his assent and crossed his legs, now sat against the headboard on ‘his’ side of the bed. “Go on.”

“Right, well…you got the first part right. I grew up around bikes. And I was good straight away. It just seemed to fit me, it was what I was meant to be doing. And my parents supported me and Alex and we started winning. I won my first trophy when I was 8. Catalunya Motocross. So yeah, a normal kind of path I guess, for racing kids.”

Winning when you’re 8 is normal.

“And then living up in the middle of nowhere got annoying, so we moved a bit closer to the coast. So we still had enough space to mess around, but closer to…well, you know. Everything. Then this school in Barcelona got interested in me, and they took me on. So I had it pretty good – although I earnt that – and I started winning bigger stuff. On the track, not dirt anymore. I did a few races in the CEV, scored good points, and then had a couple of wildcards in the World Championship. 125s. Did ok, crashed once or twice but had a couple of top ten finishes. So, everything good, right?”

He seemed to actually be waiting for a response and Dani nodded at him, starting to feel the dark storm clouds of being wrong gathering in the pit of his stomach. Something happened. What happened?

“Yeah, so…all good. And then I crashed. On the road, not on the track. Well…” He took a deep breath and seemed to set himself up to manage to say it. “Actually, I got hit.” Marc’s right hand grabbed his left as the words came out, trying to literally hold himself together, shaky. “I-I got hit by a truck.”

One moment can't define everything, you said. Dani just stared at him, suddenly noticing all the little things he'd been too disinterested to, before, feeling too many things at once for any one of them to make sense. The person behind the smile. The person who had just put all their armour down. But maybe it can. Maybe we're both wrong.

Chapter Text

Say something. Dani stared at him, willing himself to, as he felt the younger rider staring back and willing the same thing. Anything. “Oh God.” He hoped the expression on his face matched the churning turbulence in the rest of him. “I-I…I’m so-“

“Yeah, everybody’s sorry.” Marc ran a hand through his hair and sat down next to his colleague on the bed, mirrored pose, staring at his feet. “It’s ok. I mean…it wasn’t. I was in hospital for 3 months-“

“Fuck!" The guilt was like repeatedly riding into a brick wall at 330kph.

“Yeah, none of that. For a while.” The younger of the two laughed nervously and risked a look to his left, noticing Dani sort of snort in empathy; blushing, internally imploding. “…but yeah, in hospital for 3 months. Couldn’t really walk for another month. Then the big problem is I was seeing double, for almost a year. Couldn’t do anything, couldn’t ride or drive…I repaired ok though, everything’s ok now. I just have this…” He traced the scar with a finger and Dani followed it with his eyes. “…and lost time. And a few arguments.”

Lost time. I know all about lost time. “I don’t know what to say. Except I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok.”

They finally shared a proper look and eye contact.

“It’s not ok, and I’m sorry.”

“Well then now, it’s ok.”

I’ll prove I mean it, I promise. His brain started to rewind over the details and kept getting caught on that last word. “Arguments?”

“My parents. They didn’t want me to race again.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah…I can understand why. I almost died once – properly as well, not some kind of chat show fuck up – and they didn’t want me to get on a bike again, on the road or on the track. Or Alex. I mean…I didn’t want to either, and neither did he for a while. So it never came up. But then…I did. And so did he. So we went down to Rufea – you know that old dirt track? Yeah. I drove, I could see again ok by then. And we didn’t tell them. I was slow – and very very nervous - but Alex wouldn’t stop grinning at me, and I couldn’t stop grinning back. So we went again a few days later, and kept going until I felt like I’d proved that I could still do it. Then we told them.”

“I’m guessing they didn’t like it.”

“They didn’t. They didn’t like that we’d done it or that we’d kept it secret…but I was…18 I think. Yeah must have been if I drove. And I just wanted to prove to myself I could still do it without someone constantly reminding me what had happened. So…it was pretty bad. They were just worried, but…I don’t know. I wish they’d realised that it wasn’t going to be a choice. I mean, it’s not a choice, right? You feel that? It’s just what you’re supposed to be doing.”

“I know exactly what you mean.”

“Good. Ok. See! I knew we had something in common other than just Repsol!” He grinned at Dani and looked at him long enough to see the expression melt from concern into the same, warm smile. Concern. Real concern. “So it wasn’t a choice, but they made it a choice. So I left. Moved up here…far enough away to feel a bit more free, but not too far. It’s fine now. I mean, it’s not how it was, but we talk and see each other sometimes, and my dad comes to some races. I miss them. But anyway, yeah.. I got a job for a while, saved all that and lived with a friend…then rented where I live now. The year before last I won the championship by a point, and had enough money to try it again and stop working, really go for it. Then I won it by 123 points, I think…and that was good money, too. More. But Alex moved in. And he was still at school, then.”

“He gave the beer to his brother.” “You started this job because you spent those winnings on him?”

“Yeah. But don’t tell him!” Marc grinned and shrugged. “He was never going to give it a go if he stayed at home, so he came to live with me. I mean, he works now – at that garage on the road towards Alcañiz? But he doesn’t earn much and he needs it for racing, too. And that’s more important, because he has a proper chance at this. To do it step by step, like you’re supposed to.”

Dani was on the verge of tears. You put all that money into him. You got hit by a truck, picked yourself back up, and you gave that away to your brother. “I don’t know what to say.” I don’t know if I’ve ever been more wrong.

“What do you mean?”

“What do you mean, what do I mean? That’s…I don’t know what to say to you.”

The slight crack in his voice as the words came out gave the game away. “That’s normal, isn’t it? He’s my brother.”

“But…what about you?” That's normal. Is it? Or is it spectacular? Is it the exact opposite of what I made you into in my head?

“Well…I mean, I lost my chance to do it the sensible way. But the word from Emilio – that’s the guy who took a chance on me before – seems to be, basically…that if I win this championship again he’ll believe I’m really who I was before and give me another chance. In Moto2, I think. In the world championship. Properly.”

“But…”

“But? What? We need money, so I have to earn money. Alex can’t live at home, so he’s with me. There’s no ‘what about me’…I mean, what else would I do? Besides, we’re hopefully moving down further towards Barcelona after this season’s over. Might have enough money to get us both down there. If not…Alex will go first, I guess. He’s doing really well, hopefully I’ll talk to Emilio about him soon, too.”

“So you’re like his manager as well?”

“I guess. It’s more…I know what I’m doing so I help. I did it all once already.” He shrugged happily again, emotion from re-telling the crash gone, replaced only by slight puzzlement as to why Dani seemed so bowled over.

“So you manage and pay for a lot of your brother’s career, you work an almost full-time job, you pay rent on a house, you’ve been hit by a truck and been hospitalised for 3 months, you couldn’t walk or see, you’ve won more amateur races than anyone ever has before, and no one helps you with that?”

Marc listened to the list quietly and then nodded minutely, voice quiet. Proud, maybe a little sad. But also a bit puzzled. “Yeah. I guess that’s it.”

I’ve never been more wrong. “Well…I’m sorry, and I mean it. Look at me.” The younger rider turned, surprised by the insistence in Dani’s voice, and locked eyes with him. “I’m sorry. And I’ll show you that I mean it. And if you want any help, you can ask me. I won everything too, once. A few years ago now, before…stuff got in the way. Before I let stuff get in the way. You want anything…oil, rags, cable ties or anything silly like that, up to calling me in the middle of the night to rebuild a bike, you can. Whatever it is, I’ll do as much as I can.”

Wow. He really means that. His eyes have gone back to that perfect little moment that he thinks I didn’t notice, when he looked at me across the bar. “Th-thank you…”

“I mean it. I mean…I understand why your parents would be worried about you…but there has to be someone who’s got your back, right?”

Does there? “I guess…although I’m doing ok?”

He really values what I’m going to reply to that. “No, you’re not ‘doing ok’. You’re fucking incredible. And I’m sorry.”

Marc’s eyes flashed with something on the word incredible and Dani held up a finger, starting to smile, Marc joining him. “Don’t you fucking dare rub it in my face. I was wrong. Now shut up and let’s go to sleep. Well...in a few minutes. I just need...a bit of air.”

The younger rider stared back for a few seconds, starting to grin but with much less self-assurance than his usual wide, brimming smile, and then nodded and looked away. “Ok. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome." Dani got out the bed and walked over to the balcony, going outside and shutting himself out, needing a couple of minutes when those eyes weren't searching his for every last piece of information they could find. I was wrong. I was so wrong. The weight of the guilt made him feel like he shouldn't risk standing on the balcony, suspended in the air, at all. As though justice would be him and his guilt plummeting 30ft. It probably would. He bit his lip to try and keep the surprising amount of emotion back, feeling tears prick at his eyes slightly, before taking a few deep breaths and squaring his shoulders. This is no use. He opened the door again, smiled a smile he could tell Marc saw past, and got back in the bed. "Now, sleep. Ok?” Dani punched the light off and got under the covers, expecting the reply but no less irritated by it. This time, however, the eye rolling was affectionate. So affectionate all I want to do is roll over and…just be there.

“So we don’t talk about how you were a complete asshole-“

“No, we don’t.” I can actually hear him smiling in the dark.

“Ok, for now. But can we talk about how you’re apparently now going to sleep in the bed?”

No. “No.”

“Ok. Fine with me.” There was some rustling before Marc seemed to settle on the other side, and a couple of minutes of silent, calm breathing followed before the younger rider spoke again. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.” I love how you knew I was still wide awake, buzzing because I’m lying next to you. “What?”

“Is that…a lot? I never thought about it. Am I doing ok?”

“Like I said, it’s incredible. And I think you woke me up.”

“Oh, sorr-“

“No, not now. In general. I mean…I have to get my act together. You’ve set the bar pretty high.”

“Oh.”

He’s smiling again. I’m surprised his teeth aren’t shining at me in the dark. “Oh?”

“I mean…good…?”

“Good.”

“Dani?”

“Yeah?”

“That means a lot.”

I know. “You deserve it.”

“Hmm.” Another few seconds of silence. “Dani?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I move over slightly? I’m on the edge.”

“Yeah. I like you now, remember?”

“Good. My subconscious might forget and kick you in the night, though…”

“That’s ok. I probably deserve it.” His arm flashed with goosebumps as he felt himself get prodded, then pinched. Oh God. Don’t touch me. Not now. “What are you doing?” Or do it more. Everywhere. Now.

“Just checking you’re the same person.”

He couldn’t resist, and grabbed the hand before it could retreat. “I am the same person.” He squeezed and felt a squeeze in response, along with a satisfied sigh. “Now go to sleep. And dream about winning. Not about-“

“How did you-“

“I can feel you shaking.”

"Right." He took his hand back and a deep breath. "Ok. Goodnight."

Chapter Text

It was sticky and hot in the room, and the sound of the crickets outside filtered through the slightly open window like a distant drone. Other than that, the only thing either of them could hear were the sounds of each other: breathing, moving, wanting? The sun was only a couple of hours away, when they'd have to get up and walk back to the van, when they'd have to go back and leave this strange little dream-bubble of an event behind; when they'd both have to figure out how it worked with the new dynamic.

Neither of them could get to sleep. For similar reasons - although Marc was still trying to get his brain off the crash - mainly involving the fact that they were a foot apart in a nice hotel room somewhere on the border and both were finding it difficult not to move over to each other.

Marc was wondering how he really didn’t mind that Dani had been such a dick – although he’d never admit that for purposes of teasing him – and how all he’d really wanted was to know why. He’d been angered by it but the odd moment where Dani had let his guard down – once in the bar, once when he was changing that tyre, once when they were getting on the bike – had let Marc know there was a reason. It wasn’t that Dani was just an asshole, it was that he thought Marc was. That’s what he decided. Nothing to do with how hot he is. I wasn’t just hoping and hoping because of that…although if the guy in the bar is anything to go by, he has a hot boyfriend already.

Dani, meanwhile, was drowning in guilt, paired with a similar amount of shock and admiration. I will show him that I’m sorry, though. Somehow… He could almost sense to perfection exactly how far apart they were, radar sending back pings off Marc’s skin each time he moved a millimetre. Dani was also now able to admit the real problem: I could ignore it when I thought he was an idiot. But now I have to admit that I’ve never been more attracted to anyone in my life. But on the positive side, there’s no doubt that he is bisexual. Although I seriously doubt he’ll want much to do with me after how I’ve-

“Are you awake?” Marc whispered up at the ceiling and then pivoted his head to try and pick out the outline of his colleague. Friend?

Dani coughed at the sound, not expecting it, and tried to immediately erase all thoughts of that from his head. “Y-yeah?”

“Ok, well…I’m going to move onto the floor.”

What?! “Right…? Why?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“I doubt the floor will help.”

“I think I just need some space. It’s cooler down there. It’s a bit different sharing a bed with someone who isn’t your brother or…you know. Someone you’re…sleeping with.”

The disappointment at the prospect actually made Dani almost whimper. It is. So let’s just be the second option… “Oh.” No, that was way too obvious.

“Is that ok?” The worry in Marc’s voice confirmed that the ‘oh’ had indeed been obvious.

“Yeah…”

Does he actually want me to stay up here? “You don’t sound very sure. And I know you can’t see me but I just winked at you.”

The older of the two went red in the dark and smiled. Insatiable. “You need to stop flirting with everyone you meet.”

Interesting. Change of topic. “Do I? Flirt with everyone?”

“Everyone I’ve seen you with, you flirt with. Except Alberto and your brother. You even flirted with Jorge. After he spilt beer on you.”

“Well, yeah!” Marc laughed to himself and the bed moved as he turned onto his side, facing Dani, head propped on his elbow. “That’s his name? Jorge? Why wouldn’t I flirt with someone if they’re hot?”

“Because…”

“Because…” Because he’s mine?

Dani paused and bit his lip, grinning, wondering if he dared say it, or if he dared think it. “You realise what you just said, right?”

Marc searched the darkness with his eyes as though he’d find the answer there, not understanding at all, hoping he wasn’t about to get a that was my boyfriend speech. “What? No?”

“I said you flirt with everyone you meet, because you just did it to me. You replied you only flirt with people who are hot.” I can hear him getting annoyed at being out-cheeked. “So thank you very much. I will write that compliment in my diary.”

Fuck. And I think he missed how I just admitted I hit on his boyfriend. “Sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“Sorry I think you’re hot. I know it must be a shock when you know what you look like, but…what can I say? People have weird kinks.”

Dani fully laughed at that, admitting defeat on that point, and then turned the light on with no warning, turning over onto his side and finding himself face to face with a blinking, slightly red but grinning Marc. “Weird kinks? For short guys a lot too much older than them?”

Marc raised his eyebrows and smiled at that. “You are pretty short. But than just means that when you get annoying I could pick you up and throw you away. And old? Are you serious? The guy I went home with the other night – and look!” He pointed to his eye and smiled. “Pretty much gone, that black eye! Anyway…yeah, I mean…he must have been…sorry I didn’t ask, don’t judge…35 maybe?”

“But that’s d…” That’s different, because it was just one night. That’s actually what I was going to say. “…different.”

“Why?”

“He was just a one night thing, right?”

“Oh, yeah! And his boyfriend was another 10 years older than him…I felt like I was running away from the headmaster or something! But still…age is just a number, as long as you’re not an asshole.” He directed that last word very pointedly towards the older rider with a cheeky smile. “Don’t you agree?”

Ignore it. Focus. “Maybe. But I have a question for you…what did you say in that guy’s ear at the bar?”

“The one I went home with? Something incredibly cheesy like ‘let’s stop imagining it and just do it’.”

“Oh God!” Dani laughed and hung his head slightly. “Really?! And that worked…”

“It did. To be fair, it was just true. In my mind I was already clawing at him and screaming, so…”

Don’t. Don’t. Please. “So you’re pretty forward then? Not like I didn’t know that already. But that’s quite rare in a normal bar in rural Aragón. For a guy to just walk up to a guy…”

“Yeah. I guess. I was so frustrated that day, though. I would have probably tried to fuck the Pope if he’d smiled at me.”

Dani burst into a fit of giggles and planted his face into the pillow. “Sweet Jesus.”

“Him, too.”

“Stop!” He shook his head and tried to stop laughing, noticing Marc’s smile at having been able to make him laugh. “Seriously, you can’t say things like that.”

“I can. No one here’s going to get offended, are they?” He raised his eyebrows at Dani and smiled as the older rider shook his head. “Didn’t think so. I can’t imagine…gay? Bisexual? Motorbike riders being very devout…”

“True. And bisexual.”

“Ah, same.”

“I know.” Too fast. “I mean…I figured…”

“Because of the phone numbers, right?”

“No, because of the girlfriend.”

“Pff. Oh yeah! Haha well…she’s obviously very important to me since I forgot about her, and cheated on her. Although…I’m not a bad guy. I’m hoping you know that now? I mean, we’ve never talked about…anything. She calls me when she wants sex or money.” He took a deep breath and smiled, nervous, “I’m sure she’s doing it to me, too. Given that when we met she moved in for 2 weeks, after which I couldn’t move, and now she only calls every few days.”

You don’t have to justify it to me. “I’m not going to judge you.”

“How times change…” Marc grinned and then half shrugged at him. “So what about you?” And your lovely Jorge that I want to click my fingers and magic away.

“Me? Like I said, bisexual. In fact…” He held up his hand and inspected the left ring finger, offering it to Marc. “You can still see the tan line where I used to have a ring. Not married…just engaged. She thought it was modern for us both to wear one…but didn’t think it was modern for her to not spend all my money on shit. And cheat.”

Woah. Is that what you meant by ‘let stuff get in the way’? “Woah, ok. Well that’s terrifying.”

“What?”

“I’m pretty sure that marrying anyone when you live up here is the fastest way to never fulfil your potential.”

“I wish I could say I realised that.”

“You didn’t?!”

“Not at the time. I was so in love with her. Or who I thought she was. I mean, we grew up together. Me and her, and then Jorge and Ricky. We were like the opposing sides of the school. But then Ricky moved in with his girlfriend in Granollers when they were ridiculously young, and somehow me and Jorge realised we didn’t hate each other. She didn’t like that. She started to change. Jorge moved to Barcelona. And then she was unrecognisable, had sex with half the town, and moved to Madrid.”

‘Realised we didn’t hate each other’…what does that mean? “Ah. Nice. Sorry…”

“Sorry? More like thank you sweet sexy Jesus for letting me see it before I actually married her.”

“You didn’t cheat on her?”

“No…?” Dani frowned and smiled. “What did I say that made you think that?”

Nothing. Just…’realised we didn’t hate each other…’ “Nothing, sorry. Just..checking. Research.”

“Research?”

“Yeah, asshole research.”

“Says you! Did you even find out that guy’s name before you buried yourself in him?”

Ok, we definitely broke down more than a few barriers. ‘Buried yourself…’ Is this normal Dani? Or is this flirtatious Dani? Does flirtatious Dani have a boyfriend? “Hehe. For the record, his name was also Jorge. And also for the record, he was very definitely buried in me…”

Dani gulped at that, the thought of it making him rearrange the blanket slightly to hopefully cover the evidence. “Oh. Sorry if that was a weird question. Didn’t quite mean-”

“Yeah, you seem to like details about my sex life. I would ask why, but I’ll ask about yours instead. How is it? Buried yourself in anyone lately?” Brazen. I can do brazen. And I can do it better than you, judging by the cherry red colour of your cheeks.

“Wh-…I…no!?”

“Why?”

“Wh…I…” He trailed off and stared, eyes wide. “Why?!”

“Yeah, why? Because you’re up here? Well…there?” And he isn’t?

“I guess…I mean…” HOW DID THIS CONVERSATION HAPPEN? “…that makes it more difficult.”

“Hmm. I can imagine. And I’m going to the toilet.” He flashed Dani a grin and got out the bed, stretching slightly to the ceiling and walking un-self-consciously over to the bathroom, locking himself inside.

The tan line. Dani flopped back down onto his back and looked down at the tent in the sheets. The tan line across his lower back. On his hips. The tan line I want to trace with my tongue. Marc unlocked the door and the older rider hurriedly turned over again to hide the evidence of his frustration. That wouldn’t have helped.

The younger got back in the bed and stretched out on his back, mentally impressed he wasn’t suffering the same thing. Because that would make a few things quite obvious. I could just ask. I could just say ‘Hey…now we know we like each other, would you like to fuck me?’ “Want to try and sleep, again?”

“Think you can?”

“Not really. I’m wide awake.”

“Me too…”

They both thought ‘and why is that’ at the same time before shrugging similarly. “Well we could watch TV. Or you could tell me more about Jorge…”

“Jorge?” Dani frowned and started to pout slightly. He really did think he was hot. And it’s making me actually itch with jealousy. “He has a sunglasses brand. He lives in Barcelona. He’s a year or two younger than me. He used to be an idiot. He’s obsessed with amateur triathlons and stuff like that…”

“Oh. So…you like him, now?”

“Well, yeah! Obviously! Although it’s annoying he lives so far away.”

“Yeah I can imagine. Why didn’t you move down with him?”

“That was the plan, but I…I don’t know. I’m in limbo. But I will, soon. Like you…after the season.” Like I said last year.

“Oh, ok.” And that’s goodnight from me and goodnight from him. Sounds pretty serious. “Alberto’s going to cry.”

“Possibly!” Does he sound...dissapointed? “You think you’ll be moving this year, then?”

“Hope so.” Try and at least pretend you’re not a little bit heartbroken, come on. “Alex will. I will too, I hope.”

He is disappointed?! “Well I guess we’ll be going at similar times, then…” If that’s what’s disappointing you?

“Yeah, I guess. You going to move in with him, then?”

Him? “Jorge?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, probably. For a bit…see how it goes. But his place isn’t very big, so…I don’t know. Plus I can’t really afford to live where he does.”

“So you’d move somewhere else?”

“Yeah…” There must be crossed wire here somewhere. “Probably.”

Marc was still lying on his back staring at the ceiling, Dani just about now able to risk doing the same.

“On your own?”

“Yeah…?”

“So…it’s not…serious?”

“Serious? What?”

“Your plan to move in with Jorge.” You and Jorge.

“No, not really. More a place to sleep for the first few days or weeks I think. Why?”

“Just wondered.”

He’s jealous. He seems jealous? Of what?! “Ok…well, like I said before...I think I need to stop planning and worrying and just do it.”

“You’re scared of the commitment?”

“No, not that. I’m just…I don’t know. I don’t know what it is, but…something’s just been keeping me here. Even after she left..”

“Maybe it’s just not meant to happen like you’ve planned it, then.”

“I thought you’d be pushing me past the town limits screaming at me to follow my dreams!”

Marc laughed slightly and sighed. “Yeah, dreams…always. Not people, though. Not unless you didn’t even realise it was a decision until you’re in too deep. That’s when you know, I think. Like Alex – if I find someone where I do what I do for him without thinking about it, that’ll be my sign, I think.”

This suddenly got a bit more serious. “I agree.”

“But you’re going to move down to Barcelona, whatever happens?”

“Yeah. I hope so. Well, no. I will.”

“Good. Maybe we could be neighbours. Although I’m not sure that wouldn’t be frustrating…” Marc wiggled his eyebrows and sighed again, smiling but not in the same fuck me now way.

“Frustrating?”

“As frustrating as sharing a bed with you, Pedrosa. That kind of frustrating. Like when you want the last chocolate in the box but you’re not allowed.”

Dani was completely flummoxed. Am I a chocolate?! What? “That one you’re going to have to explain…”

“Really? How slow are you?!” Marc grinned at him and shrugged. “I mean, I don’t really want to watch you getting all grimy and oily and sweaty if I’m not allowed to lick it off.”

The reactions were simultaneous. He felt the sheet start to tent, felt the colour drain from his face, and felt a sort of half-whine slightly escape from his mouth. And went hot all over. Oh god. Oh god. This is a bad idea. This whole trip is a bad idea. My life was a bad idea. “Huh.”

“You’re gone very red.” Marc grinned at him wickedly and turned over to face him. “Sorry. I’m not trying to…cause problems. Like I said anyway, cheating isn’t for me.”

When I have breath back, I might reply. Maybe. “WHAT?”

“Ok, Dani. You’re hot. I think you’re hot. That’s why I should probably sleep on the floor. This is too close.”

“Why?” His groin was more in control of his mouth than his brain, he knew that much, but there was also a good dose of what the fuck is the problem? going round in his head. “Why do you think I don’t want to be…close to you?”

“You have a boyfriend? A reasonably serious one, by the sounds of it.”

It took five or six seconds of abject staring before it suddenly clicked in the older rider’s head. OH MY GOD. HE MEANS JORGE. “NO! No, no, no!! Urgh!! Jesus!! NO!!” He felt the same hysterical giggle as the Pope joke come back and buried his face in the pillow again, voice muffled and a combination of terror-laden screaming and giggles. “UURGH! NO! He’s not…we’re not…he’s straight!! Completely straight and URGH!” A few deep breaths. "GOD. NO."

"OH!" Marc's face lit up and he watched the show with what could only be described as glee. "Sorry! God, sorry! I mean...it just...you seemed...I don't kn-"

"GOD." Dani grinned at him and shook his head. "Sorry, if you know the history it's funnier. And if you know him...but...NO. I am single."

"Ok. Give me 2 minutes." Marc turned over and grabbed his phone, Dani frowning in puzzlement and excitement, heart pounding in his chest in a way he'd not felt since he was 15. Whatever. I'd wait longer than that.

"Hi. It's me." The younger rider put it on speaker and grinned at Dani, enjoying the swearing complaints of it being the middle of the night. "I know it's late, honey. I'm sorry. I just wanted to talk to you..."

"What the fuck are you doing? You've woken us...ME up for-"

"I need to tell you something and it really couldn't wait." Us. Gotcha.

"You don't call me for days even though you said you would and now you wake me up at 3 in the morning? You're fucking unbe-"

"I know, I said I'd call. Kind of wanted to see if you would. But you didn't, and I'm calling you now. Just to say...it was fun, for a while. But you're an absolute bitch and I would like you to leave me alone from now on. Ok? Bye bye."

He pressed cancel and dropped the phone back onto the bedside table, turning back over with nervous excitement you understand? to finally see the look on Dani's face that he'd wanted to see since they first got in the room. He was positively salivating. Marc cracked into a grin at what he was about to say and then moved in closer, to the point where his lips were 5cm from the older man's, and his eyes were concentrating on every movement of them through each of the first words, until the last two. Please say yes.

"I'm single too. Can I have my chocolate now?"

Chapter Text

God. Dani stared back at him, into those pools of dark, wicked invitation, waiting to see if this was real, before suddenly Marc lunged the last, tiny space and pressed their lips together for him, tongue immediately finding his, nipping at his lower lip and finding all the encouragement in the little groans and yelps that he needed to pull himself over until he was sat on the older rider, hands tangled in that beautiful ruffle of dark brown hair, fingers tugging in response to the way Dani somehow found the strength to sit them up, arms around Marc, raking over his back, crotch to crotch making them both moan into the other’s mouth, Dani’s chin tilted upwards and tongue trying to communicate everything his brain was unable to make sense of.

After what seemed like a couple of hours, Marc pulled away slightly and held Dani’s head steady, staring into his eyes, hand tangled roughly in his hair. “You want this?”

Dani ran a hand down from the younger rider’s shoulder blade over his spine and then into the hem of his boxers, squeezing roughly in response and pulling him tighter in. “You must be fucking joking. Even when I thought you were a dick, I still wanted this.”

“Good. Just checking…” He grinned wickedly before leaned in again and kissed him, this time painfully slow and teasing, pulling away again a few seconds later with Dani’s bottom lip in between his teeth, letting it go at the last second and taking a second to appreciate the expression on his face.

He is perfection.

“I can feel you being careful. You saw me and that guy outside the bar, right? Don’t be careful with me.” Marc watched as the older rider opened his eyes and looked back at him, still some doubt left, battle raging, and reached a hand into his bag on the table next to the bed, dropping a condom straight down in between them with a wicked grin. “Oops! You’d better fetch that. I won’t break.”

How does he know that? “You can feel it?”

“Your eyes, your mouth and your hands aren’t on the same page. Come on, Pedrosa. Win me. Fuck me to death.”

“I hate you.”

Marc grinned wickedly and ran his tongue over his bottom lip. “I know.”

“Right, that’s it.” Dani grinned at him and tangled his hand in Marc’s hair, the same gesture the opposite way round, exposing his neck, and ran his mouth down to his collarbone, creating a long line of kisses, bites and bruises that would definitely take a few days to disappear, Marc’s throat vibrating under his tongue as the moan changed from breathy to an animalistic, low growl.“Better.”

“Shut up.” The older rider leant back down to lie on the bed, pulling Marc with him by a combination of hair and waist, grinding them together and then switching position so he was now the one sat on the younger, holding himself up on his hands, feeling him squirm underneath him, feeling the first little trickle of blood find its way from his back to the waistband of his boxers where Marc’s grip had been either too much or, honestly, still not enough, panting like he’d run a marathon in the midday sun, both covered in a thin sheen of sweat that flashed hot and cold as the occasional flare of breeze came in through the window. Marc relaxed into the pillow and arched his back slightly as Dani shifted his weight and watched each little shiver of movement as his fingers explored his chest, thumb flicking over his nipple and bringing a relaxed, blissful smile from the younger rider, don’t do that. If you want this like you said, don’t do that. He leaned down and kissed him again, gentler, more feeling, and feeling that come back at him, enjoying the control but shocked at the way he was left to do whatever he wanted, like Marc was lying there as a challenge. That I accept.

He ran his index finger down the middle of his chest, moving his hips enough to make Marc squirm more but not enough for it to be classed as anything other than evil teasing, and then sat up, supporting himself on his knees as his finger hooked under the waistband of Marc’s boxers. “These have to come off, right now.”

Marc smiled again knowingly, eyes still closed, blissfully relaxed and trusting, tilting his hips towards Dani so they could be pulled free, which they were and thrown somewhere in the direction of the TV in the corner. Dani’s followed. The older rider rested his weight back on Marc’s thighs, moving back a couple of paces, friction making them both shiver, Marc realising what was coming and tracing Dani’s face with his hand until it was tangled back in his hair, all by touch and not sight, waiting the split second in between that and the tongue circling his tip in a surprising display of patience before his fingertips dug in, maybe a couple of strands of hair pulled out as the older rider’s mouth closed around him, mini earthquake rolling from his abdomen through the rest of him until he heard that same growl escape as Dani’s front teeth grazed him gently. “Fuck. I mean…” His breath caught again as the older rider repeated it, little bit less gentle, swirling his tongue at the same time and leaving Marc pulling out a bit more hair. Just a bit. “FUCK. ME.” He bucked his hips and growled in response to Dani’s response to that, which was to swallow him whole. Fireworks fireworks fireworks. “FUCK ME. FUCK ME NOW. PLEASE.”

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you…”

Marc’s eyes flashed open and he pulled Dani’s head back up towards his own, intentions clear, mouth eventually pressed against the older rider’s ear to whisper, tongue flicking out towards his ear lobe. “I said…fuck me now. Please.”

Dani smiled at that, nodded against him, and then pressed their foreheads together as his hand traced that same, slow line down to the other rider’s crotch, this time not stopping until his fingers were gently starting to open him up, one, then two, Marc shifting his legs wider, starting to wrap them around Dani’s waist, squirming again, breath hitting Dani’s cheek in ragged bursts only interrupted when the older rider’s mouth recaptured his or bit his lip.

“Please, Dani.”

Something about hearing his name so unconsciously begged made the older rider groan in return, other hand feeling around next to them on the bed for the condom, ripping the packet open with his teeth and then feeling Marc’s hand take it off him and slowly roll it over his cock, obviously having licked it first, hand steady despite the shakiness in his legs, eyes now open and locked on his.

“Now.”

Dani nodded again and pushed against him gently at first, feeling Marc’s muscles unconsciously resist as his hands consciously dug into Dani’s hips, nails breaking some skin, forearm muscles flexing as he dragged him closer, Dani concentrating on each little reaction, flushed cheeks, self-control tested to extremes, until Marc stopped clawing at him for a split second and groaned, hips bucking. There. He pressed their lips together for another kiss, Marc’s fingers digging in again as he started to move, both of them trying to judge the rhythm and finding it quickly, kisses falling somewhere between nose and collarbone on both of them, heat in the room forgotten as they bit, clawed and moaned at each other, Dani’s mind exploding at how each time that noise changed to a growl and he thought he’d gone too far, it really meant more. The bed shook. He wasn’t kidding when he said I wouldn’t break-

“Dani, Dani, Dani, Dani, Dani…I’m…”

The words trailed off as they both gave up on control and Dani finally allowed himself to collapse on top on him, name ringing in his ears, as Marc's was in his, doing something to him he hadn’t experienced before, vaguely aware of his stomach now being sticky as his muscles twitched and brain fought to catch up. Those lips. My name.

He expected Marc to sigh, grin…maybe push him off. He expected Marc to not want to feel like he did; the younger rider to not want to stay too close now it was done and the desperation had been sated. But instead, when Dani started to move off, Marc took a few deep breaths and shook his head, staring up at him and pulling him in. “Don’t move. Please. Not yet.” Dani nodded as Marc then sat them both up slowly, the older rider still inside him, chest to chest, laps wrapped around him, and kissed him. Not needy, not trying for round 2, just the kind of kiss used to communicate, properly. What he's feeling. Not what he wants. His arms gently wrapped round him and kept him there, calm, deep breaths shared, forehead to forehead for a few seconds before they both opened their eyes again and Marc smiled, eyes shining over a satisfied sigh.

“Ok...”

Somehow I know exactly what you mean.

Chapter Text

When Dani woke up, the bed was empty, and he felt panic shoot through him instantaneously, sitting bolt upright and staring around, dreams having been full of Marc Marc Marc, hoping the day would also have been full of Marc Marc Marc, feeling much colder knowing he wasn’t there than made sense. He peered into the bathroom and realised he wasn’t there either, about to start trying to deal with the disappointment of having obviously been abandoned, possibly not possible, before the door opened and the younger rider walked back in, eyes lighting up when he saw he was awake, Dani’s heart rate shooting up in relief.

“Hey! You’re awake.” He beamed and put two identical plates containing croissants down on the bed in front of the older rider, leaning down to give him a quick good morning peck on the lips before freezing as he was pulling away and nervously staring at him. “Shit. Sorry…I…we didn’t talk or anything, I just automatically wanted to-“

I automatically wanted to, too. Dani stared at him and shook his head in disbelief, smiling and grabbing him by the collar to pull him in again. “Don’t apologise for that. Can’t even apologise properly for cr-“

“Oh no!” Marc cut him off by whacking a sizeable amount of croissant into his still-talking mouth and then grinned as Dani frowned and tried to contain it, almost successfully but leaving a halo of crumbs on his lap and a lot of food in his mouth. “You woke up an asshole again!”

“Fk ooo.”

“Fuck me? You already did.” The younger rider grinned at him and pulled his vest aside slightly to show the worst/best of the evidence. “Well.”

I did. And I’m not blushing too much. “Weee hff t g n gt tha vn. Dnt.”

“Was that ‘We Have To Go And Get The Van’ by any chance?”

The older smiled and swallowed, nodding, just about able to make words. “Yes. Don’t.”

“I know. We do. But-“

“Whatever you start now will take hours to stop, so…leave it until later.”

Marc pouted and gave him his absolute best puppy dog eyes. “Oh.”

“Seriously.” He swallowed again, the amount in his mouth having been that challenging, and shrugged. “Are you free tonight? Assuming we get back-“

“Yes. Time?”

“8?”

“Where?”

“My house?”

Wow. “Yes. Now…we…” Marc trailed off as he saw the sight of the other man, sat in the bed covered in crumbs with still hamster-ish cheeks and a pouty expression. He got back to his feet and ruffled Dani’s already unkempt hair, planting a kiss in it and grinning. “You’re soooo cute. You going to shower? And then we’ll have to hike back to the van. It’s 810.”

Wow. He said YES. Without hesitating. “Yeah, shower. Did you already? You smell annoyingly fresh.” Cute. Pfff.

The younger grinned and turned back to him, nodding. “Sorry. I thought about that too, but we really don’t have time.”

“Fine.”

“Look happier! It’s ten past 8 in the morning, we just had the best sex…well, certainly of my life, and we have the open road ahead of us…”

“Really?”

“Well, yeah. It will still take a while to get back down to Arag-“

“No, I mean…really?”

“Oh! That bit.” He sat back on the bed next to him and nodded, pulling him back in for another devilish kiss. “I mean every word.”

Dani moaned at him as he had his lip nibbled again, and then again as he pulled away. “I’m surprised. But happy.”

“You? Surely you must h-“

“Me too. By a mile.” He noticed the look on Marc’s face and happily shrugged. “I don’t think you understand what you do to me. Did to me…”

Wow. Maybe not. “Well…maybe later, you can explain.”

“Maybe. You want me to cook for you?”

Something flashed across Marc’s expression before he nodded. “Yeah, thanks.” Because you’re trying to be romantic, or because you think I need the help? “That would be nice. Now, go and shower, and I’ll call Alex. And tell him…” He trailed off and raised his eyebrows. “That I fucked the idiot. Ok?”

Was that a ‘tell him we’re an item’ look? “Pfff. How long do I have to pay for that?”

“At least until the end of the week. In rudeness only, though. All other services are running as scheduled.”

“Ok.” He nodded and smiled at him, trying to get his face to communicate the same level of charismatic sparkle as Marc’s did all the time, and then watched him let himself out onto the balcony and put the phone to his ear.

It’s 815am and it’s already one of the best days ever.

He showered as quickly as he could, put on yesterday’s clothes and then knocked gently on the glass of the door to see if Marc wanted his conversation to be private, feeling himself relax more and more as he got a smile and beckoned outside, Marc’s arm automatically winding round his waist, hand snaking into the back pocket of his jeans and him explaining to Alex that Dani was there. Alex obviously said to say hi, so Marc said hi, and then Dani replied hi, and Marc relayed that, and so on. Eventually he put the phone down and turned his full attention back on the older rider.

“Sorry. Ready?”

“I am. And I didn’t realize this was the view.”

“I know.” Marc stood in front of him and added the other hand to the other back pocket, squeezing gently and grinning into a kiss. “Although there’s a better one here.”

*

The drive back was similar to the drive there, on paper. They made it back to the van with 5 minutes to spare before the guy shockingly turned up on time, and then sat on the grass verge next to each other talking, watching him work, both enjoying the view but with more eyes for each other, before finally it was fixed and they thanked him, noticed him notice the bite marks down Marc’s neck, and then got back in and set off again, smiling knowingly. Karaoke came back but louder and uninhibited, and when they were cruising at 120 on the motorway Marc’s hand would squeeze Dani’s thigh every now and again, something that made the older just marvel at how warm he was. I knew he had…something. Even when I thought he was an idiot. But when he actually wants to let you in, it’s incredible, the difference.

They stopped for lunch in a real town, not a service station, after Marc had completely banned any food that was wrapped or made longer ago than 24 hours. Which Dani only really objected to to be awkward, which Marc seemed to realize, and they left the motorway before they got to Tarrega, turning off once they were hungry and approaching the town through an industrial estate, hoping it got prettier. It did.

“Where are we? Have you been here before?”

Dani shook his head and nodded at the sign that finally signaled the arrival of something other than trucks and Repsol. “Apparently it’s called Cervera.”

“Hmm. Looks pretty, though. Look.” Marc pointed to what was now a very visible town and smiled. “Lunch. And we should probably talk…?”

No talking, talking is complicated. “True. Ok…lunch first, though. Right?”

“DEFINITELY.” He pulled to a stop at a junction and then pointed to all the different lanes whilst the lights were on red. “What the fuck is this? Do I go up there? Or wait here?”

“No idea. I think…maybe you go and get in that other weird queue over there when they go green.”

“Ok. If we die, I’m blaming you.”

No jokes about trucks. “Fair enough.”

The lights went green and Marc set off, slowly, edging over to the possible destination going ‘arrrgghhh’ and looking in every mirror three times a second. “This road is mean.”

“You know you said I was cute earlier?”

“Yeah. Although it was a mistake.”

“Pff.” They reached the lane and paused, Marc sitting back in the seat and sighing, satisfied, before Dani carried on. “Well, you were cute, then.”

The younger laughed and then set off again on the new green light, nervousness vanished now the road was in two halves again as it should be, and followed the road round until the town center signs lead them to somewhere to park. "Thank you. What a difference a day makes, eh? Although..." He grinned at Dani's annoyed huff and shrugged, "...you did admit you wanted to fuck me even when you thought I was an idiot."

"Yeah, true." Not sure that was all fucking though. Felt like a bit...more...but maybe leave that for whatever we're going to have to talk about. "Don't rub it in."

They got out once parked, converged on one side of the van, read the parking rules, ignored them, and then decided on a direction and headed down a cobbled street.

And Marc took his hand.

Chapter Text

The sun was back with a vengeance, and the sky was pure Rizla Suzuki with no clouds in sight, temperatures making each item of clothing feel like tyre warmers on bare skin. The heat shimmer was leading the way as it had the day before, but this time on foot and around the beautiful little town, making them immediate, accidental tourists and happy about it. Dani was trying out Jorge’s freebie sunglasses, begrudgingly surprised at how nice they were, and Marc was making no attempt to cover the proof of the night’s activities, the parts of his neck and collarbone that Dani had devoured in plain sight and earning a few glances, especially from girls, which Marc accepted with a wink and a smirk that lead the majority of them either winking back or giggling away. Dani tried to pretend he didn’t notice at all not at all not even one bit, and eventually they chose a place that had something they would each not mind eating and sat down outside at a table, Dani facing the sun and still annoyed by the quality of the sunglasses, which were more than keeping his eyes unblinking and happy. He’s beaten me again.

“You’re not going to eat all that.” He pointed at the huge sandwich in front of his boyfriend? and felt his eyes widen involuntarily. “Surely.”

“I am.” Marc puffed out his chest slightly and grinned. “Why not? Bit of lube…anything will fit anywhere.”

The older rider laughed along with him for a second before going red as he got glared at by a passer-by who had heard the remark. “Ok, fine. Maybe it will. But I might take pictures as evidence.”

“That’s fine. I’m not shy…” The younger grinned again and then nawed off a chunk of sandwich. “But I can think of better things to take photos of.”

I’m sure you can. “I don’t doubt it. Maybe later.”

“Yes. And…now be quiet. I really like you, but I’m in love with this sandwich.”

I really like you, too. Dani mimed locking his mouth shut and smiled to himself, looking down at his own, sensible sized plate and smiling as he started to eat. It feels like I’ve known him forever. Once they’d both finished, Dani a significant amount earlier, they spent a few moments awkwardly trying to talk before Dani eventually got fed up and sighed.

“Ok, we need to talk…about this.”

“This?”

“Us.”

“Us. Is there an ‘us’?”

“That’s why we need to talk about it.”

“I guess we do…is this because I kissed you good morning? Or held your hand?”

Yeah. “No…well, yeah. In a way. What do you want?”

“Dessert.”

“Don’t avoid the subject.”

“Sorry.” His foot grazed Dani’s under the table and he smiled, then shrugged. “I’m just worried what you’ll say. But we have a date tonight, right?”

You’re worried what I’ll say?! “Yeah. Is it a date? Is that what we’re doing?”

“I don’t know. I don’t usually do this. I usually hook up with strangers or put up with idiots. Worse ones that you…”

Dani laughed at that and then nodded to himself, seeing the definite similarities between them. “Me too. The only real relationship I’ve been in – with Carmen, the woman I was engaged to – didn’t really start with ‘dating’ either. More…oh we slept together again, oops. Maybe I should invite you over…”

“Sounds familiar…” Marc feigned being upset and then smiled at the look on Dani’s face. “I’m joking. And that sounds like a really shit reason to get married.”

“I know! I mean…it’s difficult though, isn’t it? When all your free time is racing or preparing to race. I mean…at least we have work? Although I’m not sure Alberto would enjoy sex-filled coffee breaks in the staff room.”

Marc’s eyes twinkled at him and he grinned. “So…you just want to fuck me in the cupboard?”

Dani spluttered into his coffee and went red. “No!”

“The fact you even reacted like that gives the game away.”

“Shhh! We’re on the street!”

The younger man grinned and briefly considered standing up and yelling THIS MAN WANTS TO FUCK ME IN A CUPBOARD! but decided maybe Dani wasn’t ready for that kind of humour. If he ever would be. If he wants to let me find out. “Sorry. It’s so easy to wind you up. I thought you’d be less grumpy now you know I’m…what was the word you used? Incredible?” He grinned again and then rolled his eyes at the other man’s face. “Just relax.”

“Sorry, I’m not used to this.”

“This?”

“This…” He waved his hands between them and shrugged. “Being out in public with a guy. That I like. That I’ve slept with.”

“Oh. Sorry…”

“Don’t take it like that. I’m not ashamed….I’m just…nervous. I realized this morning, I’ve never actually been with a guy.” If we are ‘with’? “I mean…slept with, yes. But just sort of…you know, ‘That was fun, see you around.’”

“Oh! Ok. Well...don’t worry. No one cares, and the people that do are the people you should ignore, anyway.”

“I know, I just…don’t have the same confidence as you, I guess.”

“I’m not confident. I mean…I doubt myself all the time. I re-run everything I say in my head to see what it sounded like. But…I think I just learnt how important it is to just do things. Sounds cheesy, but seizing the moment and everything…”

“Because of the crash?”

“Well…no…” Marc took a deep breath and Dani found himself once again fascinated by the change in him when they talked about things like this. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought that up. “Not specifically. More…the consequences. Not getting hurt, just losing time. Makes you realize. Like, even stupid things like races in the CEV and Moto3, ages ago. If I hadn’t made some of those overtakes, I wouldn’t have been noticed. Risky? Yeah. But they also give you opportunities. No one would remember me or think about giving me a chance in Moto2 after what happened if I hadn’t already done that stuff. Risks can pay off.”

Dani looked him up and down and nodded. “They can. So…the memory of what happened doesn’t bother you?”

Marc looked straight down into his coffee and shrugged. “No…”

Bad liar. “Not even a bit?”

The younger rider sighed and took a sip before putting the cup down and looking off over Dani’s shoulder. “Ok, sometimes. But not on the bike. Usually at night. And when things remind me. On the road. On track? Never. But…”

That’s a messy sentence.“…but?” Usually at night.

“Alex. Alex terrified me. I hadn’t really thought about it for ages and I…God. I panicked. I mean…I rode back from the garage like I was on a qualifying lap and I couldn’t even see because I was just…a mess.”

A mess. I understand what you actually mean. “But he’s ok.” Dani took a deep breath and leant forward to wind their hands together, desperately trying to stop himself wanting to look around to check who was looking, wanting honestly to just wrap his arms around him instead. It doesn’t matter. “I could tell. You were different. But he’s ok, and you’re pretty much ok. And it’s a normal reaction to that.”

“But I should have been there.”

“How?”

“I don’t know I just feel like I should have been there.” The younger rider stared at their hands as his thumb traced little patterns on the back of Dani’s hand. “That’s my job. My most important job. The one I can’t get fired from.”

“Well, you weren’t.” Dani felt his hand get squeezed and squeezed in return. “You weren’t there and you can’t follow him around for the rest of your life. You got there quickly, sounds like you got there very unsafely…” Marc gave him a look and he smiled back at him. “…exactly. You did your best, and that’s more than good enough. I would love to have a big brother like you.”

Marc smiled at that, full of genuine thanks and returning calm, and then got to his feet, pulling Dani up with him and making sure their hands stayed entangled as they walked off. “Thank you, that means a lot. And thank you for paying for lunch. I’ll pay you back tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Yeah, I do. Well…maybe I could run away, but I don’t really want to.”

Please don’t. “Whichever is fine. I MEAN – money or no money. Running away…don’t do that.”

“Well, I will pay you back…and to continue our earlier conversation…I would love to have a boyfriend like you.” Possibly sensing the nerves that shot through Dani at that, he squeezed his hand and then pecked him on the cheek, giving him no choice in the decision about public displays of affection. “Think about it, let’s go and find that square we saw on the map, and then tell me what you think when we get back to the van. Ok?”

“O-Ok.”

“And also, try and relax.”

“I’m trying.”

“I know.” Marc locked eyes with him and nodded, everything said in the expression. “It’s a big difference already.”

*

It’s a big difference already. Yeah, I know. I feel it. Stopping for lunch sounds like a good idea. Cooking sounds like fun. Moving to Barcelona sounds possible. Dani zoned out slightly from whatever Marc was saying, thinking things through, and then snapping back to reality as the younger rider yanked his arm and raised his eyebrows.

“You’re not listening.”

“No, I’m not. Sorry.”

“If you’re thinking instead, that’s fine.” Marc smiled and nodded at the van. “We’re back. Have you been thinking?”

Not about that, not at all. Dani shook his head and smiled. “I was thinking more about the effect you have on me.”

“Oh.” Marc’s face fell and he shrugged. “Ok. I guess you want a big longer, then?”

“No.”

“Stop teasing me!”

The older rider took in the whole sight, some of the cockiness that he’d thought was arrogance back in Marc’s stance; trying to cover his nerves as best possible; slight fidgeting giving the game away, petulance rare but real. “So…I thought about the effect you have on me, instead. And I decided I like that effect a lot, and I’d appreciate it if from now on, you’d stop having that effect on anybody else.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes.”

Marc all but jumped 3 ft in the air before somehow ending up wrapped around the older man, lips pressed against his ear. “Thank God.”

Thank God? Do you honestly like me as much as I like you? How?! “Did you really think I was going to say no?”

“Maybe.”

The older rider sighed contentedly to himself as he felt arms move down his back slightly, pulling him closer. “Who’s the idiot now?”

Marc prodded him in the back and then pulled away to smile, eyes switching between looking at Dani’s eyes and his lips. “Still you. But your face isn’t red at least.”

“I’m improving.”

“Soon we’ll let you back into the wild, then.”

“I don’t think I want to go. I just want you.” Very cheesy, Pedrosa. But true. He watched as the younger rider’s eyes briefly passed through that same expression they had the night before, when he’d pressed his forehead against Dani’s and breathed him in. That expression that terrifies and excites me.

“Do you mean that?”

“Every word.”

Dani pulled him in for a kiss, determined to keep building on his new found public confidence, and then felt his face go red again as someone yelled not in public from a truck passing them. He pulled away from the deliciousness in time to see the end of what was possibly Marc holding up his middle finger in that direction.

“Did you swear at him?”

“Yeah. Homophobic prick.”

Small town rockstar, that’s what he is. “Your language and your face don’t match.” And maybe one day, not small town any more.

“Maybe not.” Marc grinned and shrugged, pulling him back in for another brief kiss. “At home I’m the angel. With Alex, with my parents…But with you I’m the devil. But you already knew that.”

“Maybe I did.”

“I can show you more, later.” He grinned and nodded knowingly. “But one thing I did think was…did you call Alberto to tell him what was happening? Because I didn’t.”

Dani felt the colour drain from his face and shook his head. “Fuck! No.”

“We’d probably better do that, then!”

“Probably. Or maybe we should just turn around and never go back.”

“Never. All the good stuff is always ahead of you.”

Dani smiled at that, at all of him, really, and called a very worried Alberto to explain; leaving out certain details, avoiding questions about why he sounded so happy, worried how obvious the difference was and what he'd unwittingly turned into, and then turned to Marc once they were back on the road and grinned. The younger rider felt the gaze and turned briefly to face him. “What?”

“Just…there’s another person I’m going to have to call about this. And he’s going to lose his mind.”

“Your dad?” Marc’s face descended into something between terror and panic. “Because we’ve been together like…a day…”

“No, not my dad!” Dani laughed at the expression and squeezed his knee. “God, you don’t need to worry about them. I mean…my ex-boyfriend. In your head at least.”

“Oh! Jorge.” Marc rolled his lips around the word and the panic disappeared. “Well, he seemed nice. Whilst his friend was glaring at me across the room, he was buying me a beer.”

Dani ignored that and smiled. “He is nice. Underneath the exterior.”

“Like me?” Marc grinned and shrugged.

“No, the opposite of you. You’re nice on the outside, I just thought you were evil behind it.”

“Evil? Pfff. And, ok…so he’s nice but acts like a bastard?”

“Well…kind of. Although not anymore. He used to be like that, he’s better now. He takes being a good person very seriously. Sometimes too seriously. And that comes across as being sour faced. And mean.”

“Weird combination.”

“Yeah, it had me fooled for a while. Although I seem to be wrong about everyone. Hated him, hated you…loved her…”

“Like I said yesterday, it’s never too late if you mean it.”

I know that. Dani studied him for a few seconds and then looked away out the window. Just wish I’d had 5 years of school with the Lorenzo I know now, and all of my life with you.

“True.”

Chapter Text

“So, we’re going to be back in 10 minutes.”

“Yeah.” Dani woke up from what he would never admit to being a doze and nodded. “So?”

“So…Alberto probably expects one of us to come back dead. Or hand our notice in…”

“Maybe.”

“So…why don’t we not say anything, and see how long it takes for him to notice? I mean…he’d probably notice if we start kissing each other. So let’s just…stay professional. Properly…and see how long it takes.”

“You mean play with him?”

“Maybe a bit…” Marc grinned sideways and shrugged. “Would be fun?”

“You know, I’m surprised you’ve never been fired before.”

“Oh, I have.” The younger rider grinned wickedly. “I really, really have.”

“That sounds like a story I want to hear.”

“Maybe. It’s short and it goes like this: if you turn up to your job for the wrong shift wearing no underwear smelling of whiskey and slightly…maybe slightly in post-sex pain and not able to walk very well…slightly…you get fired.”

Dani laughed and shared a look with him. “You’re terrible.”

“That’s why you like me. Good heart, no morals whatsoever.”

“Yes, yes, and absolutely not.”

“I have morals?”

“Maybe not that kind…although if you want to have sex with someone who says if you can or can’t? But I’m fairly sure that you got me into bed with your morals.”

“Fairly sure?”

“That, and also…” Dani waved his hands in Marc’s general direction and smiled. “You know.”

“So it wasn’t the look in my eyes when I look at you?”

You’re being cheeky, but maybe we shouldn’t talk about that right now. “Maybe…”

So you’ve noticed. “Ok. If it helps…that’s why I like you. You did a good job of trying to hate me, I admit. But you had a few moments where you forgot. And hooked me in.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, when I walked in and said hello, I’d already decided 10 paces before that that I’d give almost anything to sleep with you. Right? But then…just some moments where you looked at me and it was like you understand.”

*

“So…everything go ok after the breakdown?”

“Yeah.” Dani trudged into the shop, trying to hide to spring in his step, and didn’t hold the door open for Marc. It swung back and almost hit him in the face, making him grin and turn away slightly to keep it from their boss. Oh, I see. Back to before.

“Marc?”

“Yeah, fine.” He smiled faintly at the older man and shrugged. “As well as could be expected, I guess.”

“Ah. Right, well…who do I owe what?”

“You owe me for the hotel and one tank of fuel, and him for the other tank of fuel. And he’s owes me for lunch.”

Marc huffed and shrugged, arms crossed. “Not my fault we ended up where we did.”

Alberto sighed, buying every second of it, and shrugged. “Ok. I’ll sort that in a few minutes then. You want a drink?”

Dani shrugged and nodded, surly as hell. “Yeah, ok. Need energy to get back home, and ride him back.”

“Yes, please.” The younger rider smiled and nodded, waiting until their boss had left the room to walk past Dani and slap him on the ass, whispering in his ear. “You little bastard.”

“Me?”

“You. I said stay professional…”

“You? Professional?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll get you back.”

*

“Ok I’ve done the transfers.” Alberto walked back in and smiled hopefully, not noticing the split-second-before change from them grinning at each other like lovestruck teenagers to glaring into their cups. “Wages will be added on to whenever you get paid…which is...next Tuesday. Ok?”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

He sighed and shrugged. “I take it you haven’t settled your differences, then?”

“Differences?” Marc frowned and shook his head. “I’m fine. It’s him.”

“Yeah, blame me. Like Turn 1 on Sunday. Fine.”

“I didn’t blame you for that! I was just a bit late apologizing.”

“Yeah well, late. Too late.”

“Well at le-“

“Ok! Enough.” Puig ran his hands over his face and yawned. “I don’t care if you don’t like each other, but here at least pretend to be civil. Ok?”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

He turned to leave and Marc seized his opportunity to lean across Dani and whack a pile of chewing gum onto the floor; next to Dani, away from him. “Oh, well done.”

Alberto turned round before the smaller rider could really respond, leaving him staring mouth-open up at his boss. “I…”

“Don’t worry about it, just pick them up.” Another sigh, before he finally left the room and Dani turned back to Marc, eyes wide.

“YOU!”

“ME?” He smiled innocently and then laughed, hand going over his mouth to try and cover the sound. “You deserved that.”

“Well…pfff. Next time I slam the door in your face, I’ll do a better job.”

“Please…” He winked and grinned. “You know I like it rough.”

Dani rolled his eyes and went slightly red, nodding. “And if you ever do that again, no cupboard sex. Ever.”

Marc pouted and batted his eyelashes for a couple of seconds before Dani found himself physically unable to resist and leaned in for a kiss that lasted a little longer than it should have, pretty much managing to stay on his chair, before a cough from just in front of them brought them back to reality.

“45 of 95, please.”

Oops. They both looked up and came face to face with a very red-faced woman, maybe mid-forties, not looking negatively at them so much as just looking completely flummoxed.

“Sorry. Very unprofessional.” Dani got up and stood in front of the till, Marc turning his swivelable chair round slightly so he could stare at the wall out of her view and laugh to himself. Oops. He listened to Dani try and get the transaction back on course and then finally burst out laughing once they were alone again.

“OH GOD. Sorry I didn’t hear her!”

“Me neither. But…we’re not meant to be working, technically, so…”

“That’s true. So we’re still incredibly professional. And we should go, because I want to change before our date…”

I like the way that sounds when you say it. “Ok. If you get the bike out I’ll go and tell Alberto we’re gone. And try and stop smiling.”

“I’m sure you’ll manage that.”

Dani smiled and clapped a hand on the other rider’s shoulder, dragging it gently across them as he walked past. “I’m sure.”

Marc smiled, shivered happily under the touch, and watched him go as the choice of words played back in his ears. If you get the bike out…the bike. Not ‘my bike’? The bike. Not complaining. He went and did just that, they pretended the body contact was horrible, and then roared off back towards the town. Once out of view, Marc’s hands gave Dani a gentle squeeze and he could just make out the words we should do this more often.

He left Marc at his house after getting dragged inside briefly to meet Alex, who found the whole thing either hilarious or adorable and seemed a lot less insane than his brother, and then rode home and tidied up, changed clothes, and then called Jorge.

“I’m back from the adventure.”

“You sound happier than before you set off.”

“I am.”

“You didn’t get him fired, did you? Because he se-“

“No, I didn’t! It’s a much better reason than that.”

“Right…I’m listening.”

“Guess.”

“You’ve realised he’s not an idiot?”

Damn. “Kind of.”

“Right…so you told him why you thought he was a dick, right?”

“Yeah. We talked...”

“Good! And he explained?”

“He explained, then we fucked each other’s brains out.”

There was a short, sharp splutter from the other end of the line that made Dani grin uncontrollably.

“Hello?”

“Still here. Shocked.” The words were raspy and slightly choked. “What the fuck?”

“I know. I was wrong, I admit it. I was really, really wrong about him, and I really, really like him. Best sex of my life. Apparently the best sex of his life…and we, er…decided we wanted more of it.”

“Fucking hell, Dani! In less than 24 hours you’ve gone from hating him to being half in love with him or what?!

“Pretty much. But I didn’t hate him. I was just wrong about him. And in denial.”

“Well, you know what I could say now…”

“Yeah, yeah. I know! I’m a bad judge of character.”

“At least it only took a few days.”

“Which sounds insane, it’s like I’ve known him forever.”

“Well…I’m happy for you. When are you seeing him again? Is it..official?” Not that we’re 13.

“Yeah. It is. My boyfriend Marc will be coming over tonight at 8.”

“Wow. Well…I hope you have fun. And more. Sounds like you’re happier, anyway. I was getting worried.”

“Worried?”

“Yeah. You used to be like him. I don’t know if you realize that? You used to be the guy who made everyone else feel like they could do anything. And then…I don’t know what happened. But it sounds like I’m talking to the old Dani. The real Dani.”

It’s makes me so sad that I know exactly what you mean. “I know what you mean. And I feel like that. I feel like my fingers are stuck in a socket when I'm with him.”

“Leave the fingers out of this!” Jorge laughed to himself and then sighed happily. “But like I said, I’m really happy for you. I hope you have a good evening. I’m going to Italy to open the new shop.”

“Thank you, and you too. Sounds nice. And yes, I wore them. And yes, I’m annoyed to say I really like them...”

“Ha! Well if that kid keeps winning – and you’re back to being ‘the real Dani Pedrosa’ – maybe we can do a deal. Not gonna lie, it would be amazing to see the company sponsoring some people.”

Now that is a very interesting idea. “Hmm, ok. I like that idea. Right, I need to cook for my boyfriend…”

“Are you 14?”

“No, but I feel like it. Talk to you soon.”

“You will. Bye.”

“Bye.”

He cancelled the call and sighed contentedly. List of people who will be happy for me: Jorge. List of people I’m not sure what they’re going to say: everyone else. I guess we’ll see. His phone beeped again as he started to put it back in his pocket and he grinned down at the screen. This is ridiculous.

Marc: My friend Edgar: ‘What are you doing tonight?’ Me: ‘Having dinner with my boyfriend.’ Him: ‘WHAT THE FUCK?!’ Me: SMILE SMILE SMILE SMILE <3 see you soon. Xxxx

Smile smile smile smile. He took a deep breath and nodded to himself. And a heart.

Chapter Text

“So..a date?”

“A date.” Marc grinned and nodded, risking a quick look away from the massive pile of t shirts he was looking through in time to catch a grin from his brother. “Kind of. I mean…he’s…my boyfriend. Already…which maybe sounds crazy to you-“

“No, it doesn’t.”

“No?” The older brother looked back at him again, holding up a t shirt at the same time that Alex replied to with a shake of the head. “Why?”

“Because you’ve talked about him a lot since your first day. And…I don’t know…I mean…in the bar…it was just…obvious. There’s something there. If you’d asked me to pick two people in the room who should get to know each other, it would have been you.”

“You think?”

Does my opinion really matter or are you just scared to believe your own? “Yeah. You went home with that guy to make him jealous, right?”

Marc shrugged innocently and grinned. “Course not. I’d never do that…”

“Right.” Alex gave him a knowing smile and pointed to a dark blue t shirt to Marc’s right. “Wear that one.”

*

“Are you at the airport?”

“Yeah but I have a few minutes. Why?”

“Because I’m freaking out slightly.”

“Daniel Pedrosa! Over a guy? And you’re calling me?”

“Yeah. But only one. This one. And sorry…Carrie and Miranda and Charlotte…and…the hot one?…were all busy.”

Jorge laughed before Dani could hear the shrug. “Well he seems pretty keen on you, too. Did you see the way he was looking at you in the bar? Even when you were being a dick?”

“No?”

“You should go and get an eye test, then.”

“Pff. But seriously…I’m worried. Calm me down.”

“Right well…all I can say is this: you were a complete cunt to him for hours at a time and he’s the one who asked you if you wanted to make it… ‘official’. So I think you’ll probably be ok if you’re just you.”

Dani locked eyes with himself in the mirror and then laughed. “Ok, fine. That’s a good way of putting it.”

“I’m gifted.”

“Is that what they call it now?”

“Yeah. And I’m going now. Have a good time. And don’t put on that shirt with the-”

“Thanks. Bye.”

*

“Hey.” Dani pulled the door open and grinned, immediately enveloped in a hug and kiss that went on a bit longer than Marc had originally intended, feeling himself fizzle at the sight of him. “You look amazing.”

Thank you, Alex. “Thank you. You look incredible.”

Thank you, Jorge. “Thank you. Come in.”

Marc squeezed his hand as he walked past, looking around at the interior of Dani’s living room that he’d been denied access to the previous day. “Wow. This is nice.”

“Thanks. It’s small but nice, I hope.”

“Like you…?” The younger rider grinned back at him and took the seat on the sofa he was offered, both of them suddenly feeling a first, strange shiver of awkwardness. They looked at each other for a second before Marc smiled again and shrugged slightly. “It feels weirdly awkward. Compared to the hotel…”

“Yeah.”

“Well…I guess that’s normal. I’ve never been here before. Technically this is our first date…”

Dani smiled at that and nodded, walking over to the kitchen and beckoning Marc after him. “It is, but we’ve not done anything the normal way so far, so…”

“I guess that is true.”

“Relax. Even if you pissed on the floor and burnt it down, I would probably still forgive you. So don’t feel awkward. Let’s skip that bit, it’s boring. Open cupboards, throw things around…I don’t care. And beer’s in the fridge.”

Marc grinned at him and pulled him in for a kiss. “Perfect. Like you.”

“You’re a bad liar.”

“Hidden motives…” He winked and nodded towards the stove. “So, what are we eating?”

“Pasta.”

“Perfect, again.” Marc smiled pulled the fridge door open, hidden behind it and voice louder out the window than in the kitchen. “Beer?”

“Please.”

He grabbed a bottle for himself and one for Dani, cracking them both open, and then walked up behind where the older rider was stirring a pan and wrapped his arms around him, placing the bottle against his lips and tipping gently, making sure he didn’t just pour it down his boyfriend’s chest. “I didn’t know it was possible to miss someone you’ve only known for a week…and not when you’ve been away from them for 3 hours.”

This must be a dream. “Seriously, you’re going to get really disappointed in a few days when you realise this is all you’re gonna get. Me, small house…bike. Racing. It’s not going to get more interesting.”

Marc pulled himself back and shook his head, smacking the older rider on the ass and laughing. “That is not what you promised. I want my mansion and my ring and my Bugatti and my kids that someone else looks after…!”

“Well then I suggest you try my good friend Jorge. Not gay, but sounds like that won’t matter too much.”

“Yeah I’m going to go and call him right now, actually. Bored.” Marc followed through on the joke and left the room, Dani laughing, then got seriously worried when he didn’t come back, until he heard the toilet flush and relaxed again. He’s still here. He’s still here. That still makes my heart beat like a freight train.

“What did he say?”

“He’s sending a driver first thing.”

“Good. And food is going to be 10 minutes.”

“Good. Can I get a tour of your house then, please?”

“You can.” And the awkwardness is gone. “Kitchen….”

He took him round the house and then finally out onto the terrace, sun starting to set, temperature finally starting to wane, where they ate dinner and talked, and laughed, and talked, and laughed, and then went back inside and talked, and laughed, and talked, and then eventually Dani crossed his fingers and asked the question.

“Do you want to sleep here tonight?”

Marc responded by taking his bottle of beer and putting it on the table in front of them, followed by Dani’s, measured and calm, sitting on the older rider’s lap; getting on him like he was going to race him, and staring down into his eyes, close up and unflinching. “Do you want me to sleep here tonight?”

You’re worried you’re rushing me, right? “Right now I want you to sleep here every night.”

That same flash of something; a positive something; and emotional something passed over the younger rider’s expression again, and Dani found himself less attacked with a kiss, like it had started before in the hotel, and more melted from top to bottom as Marc’s tongue gently danced around his, hands gently started to undo his shirt, fingers gently ran through his hair; everything done with so much care that Dani found himself not needing to say anything else, picking him up and slowly walking them upstairs, putting him down on the end of the bed and the joining him, watching Marc’s fingers deftly, carefully take off his shirt, then his own t shirt, then pop the button on Dani’s jeans, everything seeming like some incredible slow-motion trance, breath calm and deep, fingertips steadily exploring the things they’d missed the night before.

This isn’t a one night stand, either. He’s actually yours. Marc pulled away from a kiss and locked his eyes onto the older rider’s. Maybe there was one point, that one point when I was complaining to Alex about you, that I could have walked away.

But just the one.

Chapter Text

The sun was streaming through the window, a luxury that having a bedroom on the second floor and away from any prying eyes afforded, and it was slowly starting to warm up as the seconds ticked on. I think this is what I was missing. Dani woke up for the first time in a long time, not including the previous day, feeling happy about it. Feeling like I’d rather be awake than asleep. Like there’s something here that I really want to see every second of. He half turned on the pillow and came face to face with Marc’s sleeping face, facing him on the pillow, completely relaxed, breathing making him move ever so slightly up and down, and smiled. No incorrect panic today. He’s still here.

The older rider turned back the other way and checked the clock: they were at work at 2pm, both of them, and the morning off was a reward for the shit-pile that casually delivering some stuff to Toulouse had turned out to be.

Except that it wasn’t, it was the best worst case scenario in the world.

It was 8.36am and Dani had just about decided to leave him sleeping as long as he wanted before Marc suddenly moved and his eyes opened, going from sleepy confusion to a blissful smile almost instantaneously.

“Hey.”

Just make it so casual. Like you’re the one who should be surprised that I’m here, instead of the other way around. Angelic asshole. “Hey. Sleep ok?”

“Amazing.” The younger rider stretched slightly, increasing the distance between them, and Dani was worried that they’d reached the point he was dreading: the point where Marc stopped being as affectionate all the time, the point where he talked and laughed and kissed him but not quite the same as before. But then Marc turned back to him and smiled, and pulled himself across the bed to put his head on Dani’s chest, fingers playing a little tune of patterns across it and making him tingle. “How about you? Sorry if I was annoying. I know sometimes I move and talk and stuff.”

“It was very annoying, going to sleep curled up with the most beautiful man in a 50km radius.”

“Shut up. It’s too early for that.”

“So you’ll accept sickly praise later?”

“OF COURSE.” Marc grinned up at him and then leaned in for a kiss. “But seriously…did I wake you up?”

That wasn’t a throwaway comment, was it? “Not, not at all. Why?”

“Just…I’ve done that before.” He looked back away from Dani and the murmur of a shrug moved the older rider slightly. “Don’t want you to kick me out!”

“First, I’m never going to kick you out! Even when you drop a full bottle of beer off my terrace-“

“Sorry.” Marc laughed resignedly and buried his face into the skin of Dani’s chest, followed by a quick kiss. “Sorry sorry sorry again.”

“It’s ok, I think Mrs Romero’s plants needed watering anyway.”

“Shhhh I feel bad. Remind me to pick it up on our way out.”

On our way out. Not yours… “I love how you were too lazy to fetch it last night but now it’s making you feel bad.”

“Daylight brings things into perspective.”

Reverse. “Maybe it does. But…you didn’t…I mean…that sleeping thing, what do you mean?”

“I did it to my ex-girlfriend a few times. When I dream about certain things…I talk. And I did kick her, once. It drove her insane.”

Certain things… “You mean the crash?”

“Hmm…yeah…I guess.”

I guess, correctly. “Well you didn’t. And if you did, it’s fine. Your brain needs to process that stuff somehow. I couldn’t sleep for weeks after I got cheated on.”

“It’s not fine, it’s annoying. I even woke Alex up once…although that time was a sex dream, and it was very embarrassing for everyone involved.”

Dani laughed and squeezed Marc’s shoulders. “It wouldn’t annoy me. I mean it. Did she…I don’t know…didn’t she understand?”

“She didn’t understand anything. I mean…I’m not that messed up guy who hides it with a smile, I promise. I’m doing great. Especially when I’m cuddled up with you. But a few things just hit you sometimes, and…ok…I’m going to give away something here…”

“Give away?!”

“Yep. Because I never told her. I mean…I never told her what happened.”

Wow. “You mea-“

“I mean...not just her. I’ve never told anyone who wasn’t there when it happened. Except you. So…shhh.”

Shhh. Dani bit his lip and smiled in that strange way when your heart is half-breaking/half-adoring, lost for words. “Oh.”

Oh, he says. Oh. “Oh?”

“What does that give away?”

Nothing much, except everything. “How much I like you...”

I don’t know how I explain how that makes me feel. He settled for a kiss, Marc wholeheartedly on board with that idea, and then tried to get a bit more information once they’d settled back into where they were before. “How did she think you got the scar?”

“Not sure. I told her something stupid…might have been hedge trimmers or something…”

“Hedge trimmers.”

“Yup.”

“Well, you certainly downplayed that one.”

“Thanks.” The younger rider beamed up at him and then sat up, ruffled hair creating a wave of almost-physically-painful craving that hit Dani straight in the chest. God. Marc sat there for a couple of seconds, looking back to smile as the older rider’s finger traced a line down his spine, and then yawned.

Dani decided enough was enough. “Ok, make a decision.”

“What?!”

“You can’t just sit there like some art exhibit looking that beautiful, ok? Are we getting up or are you coming back?”

Marc laughed and stretched again, shrugging and enjoying the teasing before giving in and getting out. “Oh, sorry! I need the bathroom. After that I’ll let you decide.” He winked and padded barefoot round the bed towards the bathroom, naked and completely unbothered by that, leaving Dani very, very bothered and throwing the sheets off himself to try and give the external and internal heat something to cool themselves off. I decide that we never leave the bed ever again ever.

The toilet flushed in the background and the younger rider reappeared, this time not walking back round the bed but almost diving on top of Dani and pinning him down. “Changed my mind! I decided.”

Not a problem. "I agree."

*

Marc had cooked breakfast, and Dani found himself guiltily impressed and surprised at how well he did it, something in his head vaguely approving and deciding Marc was probably doing an ok job with Alex, behind the ‘bachelor pad’ horror of the shower, the disrespectful house guests, and the tool kit scattered into the cutlery drawer. Not that my approval is somehow necessary.

“So we’re working at 2, and Alberto’s leaving at 3.” The younger rider was now onto second breakfast and talking with his mouth full; somehow still attractive.

“Yeah.”

“I would ask if we can go on your bike again but that might give the game away.”

“It would. And you should probably change. Borrowed boxers or not, he will realise.”

“True. But…I could just borrow one of your t shirts and not need to go home?” Marc puppy dog eyed him and then grinned much before he got the response, already sensing the victory. “Thank you! And this is a great excuse to go through everything you own, too.”

Oh, joy. Dani followed him back up the stairs from the kitchen and sat himself on the bed, already knowing exactly what was about to happen. “Be my guest.”

Marc hurled open the wardrobe and stood to inspect it, rubbing his hands in pantomime anticipation. “I’m not your guest. I’m your boyfriend. And I’m very stylish, so this is important.”

“You’re not stylish. You’re just hot and you wear things that show that off.”

“What?!” The younger whirled round and grinned in mock horror. “Says the guy who owns this?!” He pulled out a yellow and green Hawaiian shirt and wagged it in Dani’s direction. “So maybe I mainly wear things that have something to do with racing, fine. And a lot of them were free. But I think you should be quiet.”

“Ok.” He sighed in resignation and smiled. “To be honest, you’re saving me a job. Put the horrible stuff in a pile over there.”

Marc nodded and threw the shirt into the designated area before walking back over to the bed and grabbing Dani by the hand, pulling him up. “What are you-“

“Shh. Come on.” The younger rider pulled him over to the shirt and then let go of him and stood back to admire them. “Done.”

Oh, I see. “Oh, HOW FUNNY.”

Marc cackled like a Disney witch and shrugged. “I said you’d have to pay for being an asshole all week. So sit in the horrible pile and play catch.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too.” He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows before going back to the wardrobe and burying his head in it, Dani using the time unobserved to go red and catch his breath, Marc doing the same, both aware that it was a joke but also walking along a line that was just plain ridiculous to approach after the short amount of time they’d known each other. Regardless of how-

Oops.

Chapter Text

The day had turned from the cool morning of when they’d woken up into a burning hot midday sun that they’d enjoyed on the terrace, Dani slightly sunburning his nose. Marc had eventually stolen an event t shirt from the 2009 MotoGP race at Montmeló, which he swore he could remember well enough to bluff his way through pretending he’d been there and bought it; Dani not wanting to play the game of secrecy if they didn’t do a good job of it. They’d had lunch and were almost about to set off to the station when the older rider turned his head slightly to yell, one puzzle piece still not fitting.

“Fuck! We forgot about the bike.”

“I’ll just say mine had a puncture or something. He doesn’t know what that entails.”

“True. So we’re going for another undercover hour?”

“Yeah! It’s too much fun.”

“Ok. Ready?”

Marc gave him a squeeze and reached around him to put his visor down. “Always.”

“This is the last time though. It’s too hard not to smile at you.”

*

“Hey.” Dani’s by-now perfected Alberto-greeting trudge into the shop was accompanied by a sigh. How can he not see the difference in my eyes? In me?! “Been busy?”

“Not too bad. You brought Marc again?”

“Yeah. His-“

“Morning.” The younger rider swept in, interrupting, and smiled at his boss, completely ignoring Dani. “Been busy?”

“Not too bad. Dani brought you again?”

“Yeah. My-“

“Bike had a puncture so he called me. You’re welcome, by the way.” The older of the two huffed and shrugged. “I exist just to do you favours.” He saw the flash of hell yes you do, sexual favours or some similar retort in Marc’s eyes and turned away from him to keep a straight face.

“I already said thank you.”

“Yeah and it really seemed like you meant it.”

They stared at each other, scowling, before Alberto did another one of his classic Dani and Marc sighs. “Ok, you two. Stop it. Marc, you’re on outside. Dani, in here. Ok?”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

They shrugged at him and Marc turned to walk outside, getting a quick spank out of Alberto’s view. He turned and grinned, then made It through the door, checked their boss was still otherwise engaged, and blew Dani a kiss.

Only an hour. Then it’s just you and me.

*

Once Alberto had gone, Dani went into the store room and disconnected the CCTV for inside, knowing it sometimes didn’t work anyway and no questions would be asked: they could relax and be themselves, not including the error of the previous day. After a while without customers, Marc designed a game he proudly named ‘turtle throw’ in which they would throw little rubber turtle key rings at the magazine rack opposite. 10 points for El País, which was closer, up to 50 for the top shelf magazines that they ended up hoarding under the counter and flicking through, another scoring system designed for that from ‘icy’ to ‘volcanic’, most of them earning a stone cold icy. Marc won ‘turtle throw’ by a in-Dani’s-opinion cheated margin of 20 points, and it was then Marc's turn to hold up the centrefolds like a tourist with a map, changing the angle to try and figure out the minutiae of some of the images.

“We should try that.”

“Bored already?!”

“No! I didn’t say today!”

“Don’t worry, I’m joking. I wo-“

“CUSTOMER, CUSTOMER!” The younger rider yelled and pointed, doing his best captain-of-a-sinking ship impression. “MR PEDROSA, PLEASE PUT AWAY THE PORNOGRAPHY.”

Dani thrust the thrusting scene under the counter, giggling like a school-play elf, and pulled Marc back down into a sitting position. “Stop it!”

“She can’t hear me out there!”

“But knowing you, you’d be the person who accidentally hits the tannoy switch and yells it to everyone.”

Marc pouted and grinned back at him, shrugging. “Ok, true. Maybe.”

“Definitely.”

“Maybe.”

“No, I think definitely.”

“MAYBE!”

“DEFINITELY!”

“Shhhh!”

“You shhhh!”

Marc did as he was told, waited until the woman was dangerously close to them, and then leant down to press his lips against his older colleague’s ear. “When she’s gone I want you to fuck me in that cupboard, like you promised. Like Tabitha on page 9.”

Dani went beetroot coloured, Marc laughed at him and served the woman, smooth as anything, knowing smile directed at the older rider’s hidden crotch, and then sat back down and smiled innocently.

“Please..?”

*

“You know if someone presses that bell we’re going to have to run back in pretty quick.”

“Better make it quick, then.” Marc grinned and captured his mouth again, tugging them both into the cupboard, opening the door with a backwards body slam. “But I think we’ll be ok on that, given how I’m already about half way there.”

“You’re a terrible influence on me.” Dani gasped the words out between kisses then almost bit both of their tongues as a hand found his crotch and he groaned. “And I like it.”

“Good.” He whispered the word in his ear before lifting his arms over his head and allowing Dani to remove his t shirt, ripping the similar item off the older rider quickly afterwards, air filled with the sound of groans and moans that they’d become incredibly skilled at eliciting from each other incredibly quickly. “Because I love it.”

He was about to carry on when Dani suddenly spun him round and pushed him against the back wall, just roughly enough to hurt, not enough to really hurt, and pressed his lips against the younger rider’s ear. “You said Tabitha, page 9?”

Marc groped his hand down the front of Dani and managed to unbutton his jeans without looking. “Tabitha, page 9.”

“Right then, let’s go.” He traced a line down Marc’s spine with his finger, eyes following it and body responding like a mirror to the way Marc’s skin shivered under the touch, tracing round his hip and unbuttoning his jeans, hooking that finger into the waistband and his other index finger into the other side, pulling them down forcefully and kissing a line down the younger rider’s back, down to where his boxers had been pulled further by the jeans but not all the way, tongue darting into the crack and smiling as he felt Marc lean forward to rest his forehead on the wall, sweat on his brow cooled against the fresh chill of the surface, hands braced on each side of him, relaxed but not too relaxed, whimpering slightly as Dani roughly pulled his boxers right down and changed from tongue to finger, teasing and enjoying the subtle complaints he was eliciting.

“You know when you walked in here on your first day, did you expect this would ever happen?”

“No.” Marc choked the word out and then bit his lip through a gasp as Dani’s fingers went further. “Not. At …ALL.”

“All?” He pushed deeper and sucked on the younger rider’s neck, enjoying the control. “All of it?”

“All of it.” Marc was panting now, hand again going for Dani’s waistband behind him and tugging in an extremely unsubtle hint to the older rider to pull them down and do it, which he did, adding another finger and using his other hand to free himself from his underwear. “All of it. All, all, allllll…”

The word faded into a growl as Dani rested his forehead against Marc for a second, guiding himself into position and slipping on a condom, admitting to himself that yes maybe cupboard sex had been on his mind ever-so-slightly given that he’d brought lube to work, and then sunk himself and his teeth gently into the quivering mess in front of him.

“Ohhhh….” Marc hung his head as he let out the low, guttural moan and Dani felt him clench around him whilst his legs and arms seemed to do the opposite and struggle to hold himself up, grabbing him roughly around the waist to help, Marc’s fingers lacing through his as he looked up to the ceiling and exposed his neck to Dani’s mouth, fingernails digging into the wall as hard as they could as the older rider thrust into him, rough and quick and deliciously needy.

“More.”

“I don’t want-“

“MORE.”

Dani gripped him harder and let go of any remaining self-control, thrusting and grunting with the effort, sweat hitting sweat, feeling Marc’s nails screeching over the back of his hand, only thing getting through to his consciousness the pain of that overwhelmed by the pleasure of what the rest of him was feeling, hand wrapped around Marc and feeling himself taking more and more of their combined weight as the younger rider let himself go and all-but collapsed, moaning, Dani taking that as the signal to do the same and pushing them both against the wall to hold them up, panting, tongue making one last journey from the nape of Marc’s neck to end with a gentle kiss. They stayed as they were for a few blissful seconds before before Marc turned his head and managed to meet their mouths again, voice breathier than usual.

"Wow."

"Enough?"

"Never. But wow."

Dani grinned and nipped him one last time on the neck, Marc squeaking happily in response, as the bell in the shop went and they groaned in unison, for completely different reasons than a few moments before.

"Fuck!"

Marc grinned and pulled his clothes back on as best he could, whirling around, crashing into a few things, grabbing the wrong t shirt and not realising until he was already half out the cupboard, leaning back in to peck Dani on the lips and get one last look at the half naked motorbike rider cowering in there, nowhere near as successful at dressing in the rush.

"Sexual harassment in the workplace."

"Yes. Go and serve the bastard customer and get back here."

"Yes, boss."

Dani grinned to himself as he watched him go and felt the latent blush hit his cheeks as the reality of everything sunk in.

Thank you, Tabitha.

Chapter Text

“What are you doing tonight?”

“What day is it?”

“Saturday.”

“Then…nothing. But do need some sleep because tomorrow I’m going to Rufea with Alex.”

“Ah, day off!” Dani grinned and nodded. “Forgot about that!” Because work is suddenly a good place to be.

“Do you want to come with us?”

“Rufea? Dirt track?”

“Dirt track. We know the guys who own it…there’s a bike there you can use if you want.”

Dirt track. Not done dirt track for years. “Sounds good. But I might be a liability…”

“I doubt it. I googled you so don’t be modest.”

Oh, God. “Not modest, honest!”

“Pff. But you’ll come?”

“Won’t Alex mind? It seems like I’ve stolen you.”

“Alex won’t mind at all, promise. He’s not like that. So we’ll pick you up…” He trailed off and raised his eyebrows. “Ah. First you asked about tonight. Will we need to pick you up?”

“I don’t know. What do you usually do on Saturday night?”

“Bar. The one we both went to. Want to do that? I’ll be able to introduce you to everyone, then…”

“That sounds horrific.”

“Don’t be shy!”

“I am shy.”

“Well, I’m not…so-“

“I noticed.”

“Good. Tonight then…want to stay at mine?”

Not done that for years, either. “I want to have sex with you.”

Marc’s eyes widened at the sudden honesty and he laughed. “Ok, then…”

The older rider felt himself start to blush and tried to shrug it off. “I mean…won’t Alex be there? And, er…hear?”

“Ah, true. Stay at yours, then?”

I love how you know you don’t need an invitation. “If that’s ok with you. We can stay at yours soon, though. I’d like that.”

“Ok.” Marc beamed at him and then nodded outside towards a customer. “So would I. Alex sometimes stays away, too…so we’ll make it work. Back in a minute.”

Dani nodded and went back to the CCTV and turned it back on, then went and waited for the guy to come in and pay, watching the way Marc easily talked to him, professional but not boring, smiling but not the same way he smiled at him. After a couple of minutes they were alone again and grateful for it, Marc’s brow now shiny; the result of a few minutes in the afternoon heat.

“I’ve turned the camera back on. It doesn’t usually break for a whole shift.”

“So you’re back to being an asshole?”

“Yeah.” Dani nodded sullenly at him and then winked. “But only on my face. My heart is pure.”

“Hmm…not sure I quite believe you.” Marc grinned back at him and then sighed, sitting back on his chair behind the counter, next to the older rider. “Well I guess we have to tell him soon. And also…” He looked down at himself and then back up at Dani. “We’d better hope he has no reason to watch this, because we switched t shirts.”

“Fuuuuuck. Well…I don’t think he will. Not exactly a crime capital round here is it?”

“Not when you’re kept busy.”

“Don’t be cheeky because I want to smile.”

“Well if he’s not going to watch it unless there’s a reason, in which case he’d see the shirt…I think you should stop being so paranoid and sit back down.”

Dani shrugged his agreement and did as he was told, having got to his feet to move the chairs slightly further apart, and then found his hand grabbed by Marc’s. Still doing it. “You don’t know how lucky I feel when you do things like that.”

“What?” Marc turned back to him, face showing some signs of chocolate, bar open in his other hand, and frowned. “Do you want chocolate?” He grinned and tried to paw some of it onto Dani’s arm before he managed to evade and then sit back down, Marc’s clean hand doing the same as it had before.

Not that, no. This. “I just…ok I’ll sound stupid.”

“No you won’t.”

Damn the puppy dog eyes. “I just mean…this.” He squeezed Marc’s hand and smiled at him. “I’m not used to it. Someone just wanting to…be…what’s the word? All I can think is ‘warm’.”

“Not used to public displays of affection?”

“No. I thought…in Cervera when we had lunch, that it felt weird just because you’re a guy. But it’s not just that. I was going to marry someone whose only public recognition of how much she loved me was waiting for me to open doors for her. In both ways.”

“Oh. So you’re not used to it but you do like it?”

“I’m not used to it. But yeah, I like it. Because I really like you. I’m just scared it’s going to run out-“

“Run out?”

“How much you like me. I’m scared it will fade sometime soon.” Smooth topic for late afternoon shift work, Pedrosa.

Marc took his hand back and snaked it around Dani’s waist instead, squeezing him to reassure. “You’re scared of everything. You’re scared of moving. Scared of leaving. Scared of committing to anything. I can understand it after what’s happened recently, but you don’t have to be scared of me…liking you less.” Falling out of love with you, which I think this might be, and I’m terrified of the same thing. “Ok? Like I said before, you know things that no one except a few people do. You know everything or almost everything by now, I think. You make me laugh. You turn me on like nothing has done before. And I know you’ve got my back. If something happened…like say, what happened with Alex. If he hadn’t been ok, what would you have done?”

“Anything.”

“Exactly. 4am and I call you saying something’s happened…I know you’d come there and do whatever. Sit and hold my hand. Bribe people. Make me laugh. Fetch drinks…and I would for you. I like you so much I almost dropped that beer Jorge bought for me in the bar. Because I was so nervous, just because he was connected to you.” He smiled at him and squeezed again. “And also quite hot….”

“Pfff!” Dani smiled at him and then shrugged. “But I was such an idiot to you.”

“Yeah!” The younger rider nodded and then kissed the sad little face he got in return on the nose. “But now you’re not. Everyone fucks up and does it sometimes. This guy I used to race against when we were kids…we hated each other, for no real reason. And then he just decided he didn’t hate me anymore and tried to apologise, and I was an idiot to him for weeks! But now it’s fine. He’s in Moto2, Pol Espargaró? So maybe if I get there it won’t be fine…” He winked and shrugged at Dani’s worrysome face. “But I’ve done it.”

“Did you then have sex with him in a hotel room?”

“NO!” Marc laughed and shook his head, starting the last bit of chocolate. “We were twelve, Dani.”

Oh great. “So your story to make me feel better is kids. Kids behaving like I did.”

“Yeah but we’re all human. You more than most people.”

What does that mean? “What-“

“I notice. All the things she probably didn’t. You gave me my food first, you passed me my coffee first, you let me use the bathroom first, you usually let me through doors first, except here…” He grinned and nodded. “You gave me the last beer. You let me put my jacket in your bag. You turned off the CCTV. Even when you were being an idiot, you locked up, turned the lights out, put the badges in the drawer. Details. You were shit at being an idiot even when you tried really hard.”

Do I?! “Do I? Do that?”

“Yeah. You do. I notice, because I like you and I wanted you to like me, but also because I’m used to being the one doing those things.”

“Now I feel slightly better.”

“Good!” Marc suddenly lunged forward and licked Dani’s cheek with a very chocolatey tongue. “I don’t know who told you you weren’t amazing but they were the idiot, trust me.”

*

Dani dropped him off at home and they shared a ridiculously overblown goodbye kiss, agreeing to meet at the bar at 9, Marc reasserting the fact that he was going to bring everyone he knew, Dani knowing that everyone he knew was otherwise engaged, long since moved away from the sleepy rural town. Soon to be followed by me. He’d waited a couple of minutes for Marc to give him a few things to take back to his house so he could stay over, then they re-did the goodbye kiss.

“That’s everything I need. I can borrow stuff like shampoo, right?”

“Of course.”

“Good. Then yeah, sorted.”

“You can just leave it there if you want.” Dani felt himself go slightly red at how he’d not really meant to say that yet. Play it cool, he can say no if he wants to. “I mean…leave a toothbrush. Leave some clothes, if you want…” Please.

Marc stared back at him for a few seconds, amping up the other rider’s nervousness, then cracked into a massive grin. “Really? Like…permanently?”

Exactly. Dani nodded and closed his eyes as they relaxed into another kiss. “Really. Permanently.”

He tried hard not to look in the mirrors to see what Marc did as he rode away, but he failed miserably and then smiled to himself in his helmet, partly knowingly, partly in relief, as the younger rider stood there and watched him go, only disappearing once Dani was out of sight of him.

Permanently.

Chapter Text

Dani was late to the bar, spending too long trying to decide what to wear before eventually just giving up and calling Jorge, trying to explain which shirts he was thinking about, which his friend summarily ignored and would only repeat the first thing he’d said, regardless of the options thrown at him: “Dark blue. Wear the dark blue one.”

So Dani wore the dark blue one over tight black jeans and the whole thing was worth it when he saw how Marc’s eyes caught sight of him, how they went through a flash of recognition, a flash of welcoming, maybe a flash of relief and then shined at him all the way across the room, following each step intently, much more than lust communicated in the look, arms going round Dani’s waist and lips onto his to say hello. And Dani hoped his face was communicating the same: the younger rider looked absolutely incredible, dark wash jeans and a just-tight-enough plain white v-neck t shirt, arms looking tanned as ever next to the bright white fabric. So simple. “You look amazing.”

Marc smiled at him and gave him another peck. “You took the words right out of my mouth.”

He introduced him to everyone and after the initial nerves had started to dissipate and Dani found he got on with everyone well. As he should probably have expected to, given how well he got on with Marc. They talked for a while, a few people left for smoke breaks and came back, a few of them played pool, which Dani won a couple of rounds of, and then it was 11.30pm, the music was louder and Alex was leaning down to yell in Marc’s ear.

“I’m going home. You staying with Dani?”

The older brother nodded and raised his eyebrows. “Ok?”

“Yeah, I’m taking Alicia back. Ok?”

Marc grinned up at him and nodded. “Yeah! Have a good time!”

“I willlll…” Alex grinned and patted him on the back as he walked away, Dani watching how the girl he’d been talking to shadowed him, how their hands tried to find each other and failed slightly, then finding his own hand grabbed my Marc, the younger rider leaning in to talk into his ear as Alex had into his. We don’t miss.

“Hey. Want another drink?”

Dani tipped the last from his bottle of beer into his mouth and nodded, squeezing his hand, leaning in to answer. “If you meant what you said about dancing, I’m going to need 10.”

Marc got to his feet and grinned, nodding, and held up both hands in a visual expression of 10. “Ok!”

Dani groaned, able to do so out loud without being heard, and watched him go before someone else sat down next to him and started talking, the older rider grateful for how quickly he’d been accepted, how all that seemed to matter to them was that he was with Marc, and that was more than enough. Even if I might have to dance.

*

Just before midnight, two more girls joined them. Marc didn’t know them, Dani made sure to ask, but someone knew them vaguely, and they were talking and sharing a drink with the fringes of the group, moving in slowly, the older rider aware after a few minutes that they were headed for him, or him and Marc, or probably actually definitely Marc. They seemed nice enough, not flirting too much, just enough for there to be cards on the table but nothing else, well-dressed, attractive. Or what I used to think was attractive, before I met him.

They introduced themselves as Carolina and Catalina, Dani and Marc sharing a look a few times as they forgot which was which, and they sat one on each side of them, which made both riders turn out slightly in the way they were sat, angled minutely away from each other - a natural reaction to not wanting to be rude - and the conversation continued, eventually taking a break when C1, as Dani had decided she was actually called, went to the bathroom, and C2 went to get more drinks, bringing the guys another beer each and sitting back down next to Dani a lot closer than before, leg touching his. The two looked at each other again, Marc trying to take a sip of beer whist grinning at him, amused, and eventually looking away to avoid laughing. He then leant over to talk in Dani’s ear again.

“I guess they didn’t see where my hands were for the last 2 hours…”

Dani smiled and locked eyes with him, shaking his head and leaning in again as Marc carried on, the speech obviously unhearable out of a 10cm range.

“See what happens,” Dani felt his heart start to pound slightly, suddenly aware they hadn’t had a single conversation about exclusivity, then relaxed again and laughed at himself as the younger rider continued. “…if it goes too far I’m going to kiss you. See how long it takes for them to figure it out…?”

“You like playing with people, don’t you?”

Marc smiled at the words and turned back to him, eyes darting between mouth and eyes, obviously wanting to give up and kiss him anyway but holding himself back. “Maybe a bit. If no one gets hurt, it’s ok.” He leant in slightly further and his lips brushed Dani’s ear. “Don’t worry. I’m yours.”

They pulled apart again and looked at each other for a second, the older nodding, eyes saying everything else. “Ok.”

C1 returned from the bathroom and did the same as C2, suddenly sat glued to Marc’s side. And the younger rider did flirt, a bit, they talked into each other’s ear, Dani did the same, and they were interesting. A rare feat in a small town, but they were good to talk to. Eventually though, C2’s hand was on Dani’s leg, followed by C1’s on Marc’s, and the two riders shared another look and Marc leaned in again.

“Jealous?”

Dani shook his head. “You’re mine, aren’t you?”

Marc grinned and nodded and turned back to C1, noticing a tattoo on her forearm, fingers gently lifting her arm to look at it and read it. Dani felt his fingers tighten slightly around his bottle of beer and gritted his teeth. Maybe a bit jealous. A tiny bit. C1 read it out and, Dani imagined, explained what it meant in Marc’s ear, noticing a scar on his arm and asking what it was from, a good excuse to do the same to him and touch. Dani turned back as he felt the hand on his leg move and C2 leant in to talk to him.

“You want to go outside for some fresh air? Or a cigarette?”

He smiled at her and shrugged, taking a sip of beer. “Sounds good.”

He felt his hand grabbed by hers, just as Alex’s had been by… Alicia?, and followed her over to the terrace, the same one where he’d stood so recently but what seemed like years ago talking to Jorge, drowning his apathetic sorrows and feeling his blood boil as he’d watched Marc leave, noticing the fake glare he got from his boyfriend as he left, raising his bottle in return and feeling a flash of warmth as Marc reciprocated and it sunk in that there was absolutely nothing to be worried about.

*

“It’s better to talk out here. Quieter.” She lit a cigarette and blew the smoke away from them, looking out over the town. “Want one?”

Dani mulled it over for a second and then nodded, inhaling the smoke and mirroring her stance. “Thanks.”

She smiled and moved a few inches closer. “So…Dani. What’s your story?”

Well, I was going to be a World Champion, then I was going to be a husband, then I was a bisexual, single, lonely guy sinking deeper into a hole I couldn’t get myself out of, then luck intervened and maybe I won’t be a World Champion, but I will probably still be a husband, except we’ll both be wearing suits, and my best man will probably leave his sunglasses on. He smiled to himself and shrugged, looking back at her and settling for the simple version. “I work at the Repsol station with Marc, he started last week. Been there for a while. And most other weekends I race.”

“Race?”

He nodded at her and smiled, opening his mouth to reply before the sweet reality of his internal long-version of the story hit him. It’s been a week. And we’re here. “Y-yeah. Motorbikes. Amateur. Was going to be professional, didn’t really work out how I imagined…I guess we’ll see.”

“Oh, cool! Are you good?”

Right now, I’m quite good. A few years ago I was very, very good. “Not bad. Maybe I’ll get to test how good I am tomorrow. Dirt track day down in Catalunya with Marc and his brother. Marc’s brilliant. And his brother is, so if I finish on the same lap as them, I guess I’m good.”

“Sounds like a good Sunday! Is it dangerous?”

I would say not too bad, but I think I’ve redefined that since I saw that scar. “It can be. You have to be careful…especially on the road, really.”

“Yeah I guess. Crazy people not paying attention.”

“Exactly.” He took another sip of beer and watched as she mirrored him. We should probably admit that we’re together, soon. “How about you?”

“Me? I just graduated. French and English Translation in Zaragoza.”

“So you speak 3 languages? That’s cool. I speak some English, but I’ve forgotten so much.”

“Yeah it goes quickly when you don’t use it every day. And 3? Maybe 4 and a half..” She smiled and locked eyes with him, Dani marvelling how, if he didn’t have Marc, he’d probably not have had the nerve to hold her gaze. “I’m Catalan. And we all kind of speak Italian if we shut our eyes and concentrate, right?”

Dani laughed at that and nodded, feeling himself relax with a girl in a bar for the first time in a while. Brain, beauty, nice to talk to. Just missing the part where your name is Marc Marquez. “I guess, maybe half…”

*

Back inside, C1 was now sharing Marc’s beer. The younger rider had managed to admit to himself that, had he not been with Dani, he probably would be following Alex home with her. But I did meet Dani, and that means I’ll never do that again. He let that sink in and then smiled to himself, amazed how quickly the words never and forever had actually started to be usable. He looked back at her as he realised he’d zoned out and missed something. “Sorry, what?”

“I said, do you want a smoke?”

The younger rider shrugged and nodded, mirroring Dani’s exit of a few minutes ago, dragged along slightly clumsily by an admittedly elegant hand with amazing colour nails. He had noticed that, but it had made him smile to himself again, wondering if he noticed because it was a detail about her or because some gay clichés were starting to manifest. I think detail. His eyes locked on Dani’s back as soon as they went through the door, teeth clenched slightly as he saw how close he was to C2, eyebrows raising slightly as he saw smoke rise from in front of his boyfriend, obviously one off dirty habits are ok, then. He’d expected Dani to have a problem with that, but obviously not. They walked over and stood a few feet away from the other couple, Marc lighting up and then risking a glance right to check if Dani had spotted him yet, and he had. He saw the same oh so this isn’t a problem? recognition on his face and shrugged, smiling. After this, we tell them. He wondered if his expression had said enough before pointing at the cigarette then making an ‘after’ motion, finally pointing between them and raising his eyebrows. Dani got the message and nodded, smiling back.

4 minutes later, Marc’s hand was pulling him back slightly and he was smiling at both of them. “I want to dance.”

The two girls looked at each other in confusion as they noticed he was talking to Dani.

“Dance?”

Marc looked back at C1 and nodded, smiling. “It’s been fun talking to you, but I want to dance, now. Ok?” He looked back at Dani and saw an expression of half dread, half nervous excitement before he nodded. They walked back inside, girls following, and Marc took his hand and lead him into the throng of people, C1 and C2 standing back at the edge and tracking them with their eyes as they started to move together, music slow enough but not cheesy enough to be the last dance at a school disco, and it finally started to sink in. Marc’s hand went round Dani’s waist, air between them hot and humid, beer and cigarettes and maybe a couple of cocktails meeting each other’s nose over the scent of each other that they immediately recognised. Marc leant in and pressed his lips against Dani’s ear, both of them relaxing into the contact after what felt like hours apart.

“I’m going to kiss you now.”

Dani smiled and kissed the crook of his neck in response and encouragement. “Good.”

“And you’re dancing with me.”

“Nobody else.”

“Good.” Marc’s hands journeyed up Dani’s back and pulled him in as their lips met; C1 and C2 looking at each other and then back; jaws dropped, staring, disbelieving. They eventually turned and walked off when they realised it wasn’t a stunt, and the two riders pulled apart and rested their foreheads together, eyes closed, so close together that when Dani spoke, the movement of his lips grazed Marc’s and set them tingling.

“Want to go home now?”

Marc nodded against him and pressed another kiss onto his lips, pulling away and threading their hands together again. “Yeah. Let’s go home.”

They walked back to the door and nodded at the people they knew who were still there, no real goodbyes needed, before walking back out into the cooler air of the street, both tipsy enough to be a little bit louder than they should have, a little bit clumsier, mashing against each other before they got in stride.

“You weren’t jealous, just a little bit?”

Dani squeezed his hand and shrugged. “Maybe a bit. Maybe if her hand had gone a bit higher, I would have crushed my bottle of beer…”

“Knew it!” Marc grinned at him. “I was a bit worried, because I was dying and I almost started yelling at you when you walked off.”

The older rider smiled at that and nudged him. “Don’t trust me?”

“I trust you.” Marc pulled them to a halt and wrapped his arms around the smaller man’s waist. “It wasn’t because I thought you’d do anything, it was just because it should have been me.”

“Well you started it…”

Marc fake glared again and then smiled and set them off walking again. “Yeah, I did. Fair enough. And I realised we never…talked about that. I mean…I’m guessing, hopefully, it’s pretty obvious…? That it’s you and me. You know…like, committed…?”

Dani studied the minute details on Marc’s face that changed when he was nervous; eyes a little wider, bottom lip bitten ever so slightly, cheekbones chiselled in the absence of the normal grin. It is pretty obvious, yes. “Yeah. I realised that, too. I guess it is obvious…you and me. Foreign hands any further up than they were tonight will be considered cheating. Ok?”

Marc grinned at him and nodded, squeezing his hand. “I wish you wouldn’t pause so much before you reply to things like that.”

“Sorry, I like to take everything in.”

“Well it stresses me out.”

They bickered a few more steps and then walked the rest of the way back up to Dani’s house mostly in happy, comfortable silence, Marc texting Alex last minute reminders about the day after and passing some things on to Dani, not expecting a reply from his brother then but leaving the message to be read, hopefully, before he needed to. They reached the front door and Dani pulled out his keys, opening the door and Marc closing it behind them, motion fluid and smooth as though it was a well-practiced, everyday occurrence, and then they found themselves sharing one last beer on Dani’s terrace. The sky was clear and the night cool enough to be comfortable asleep but still not cold against their skin, before shivers and jackets, perfect for jeans outside and nothing inside. Marc patted his pockets down and pulled out slightly a crumpled cigarette he’d obviously stolen from C1 – they checked between them if either could remember which way round it was, which they couldn’t – and they shared that, taking turns on beer and cigarette until Marc pulled Dani in and blew back into his mouth, the older rider intoxicated by the closeness, the nicotine and alcohol, and the special fizz that always appears when there’s stars above your head and someone special stood in front of you.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, eyes shining, and then Marc lead him back inside, Dani closing the door this time, silently heading for the bedroom, then the bathroom, where Marc stopped and grinned as he felt something hit him in the chest, looking down at the glass next to the sink and seeing the two toothbrushes in it, words from earlier replaying in his head. ‘Want to go home now?’

And here we are.

*

They were late. Dani was starting to get used to it – Marc usually appeared at zero hour, leaving no time for last minute occurrences, rarely late per se but always cutting it fine. But today, they were late, and Alex sat in the car outside for a good few minutes before grinning and rolling his eyes as they finally appeared.

“Morning…sorrrryyy…” Marc smiled at him in apology and pulled Dani into the back seat with him, sharing a look as they clocked the very pretty and very blushing Alicia? in the front seat. Marc leaned through the gap in the seats and smiled at her, looking back at Alex and seeing the same expression of cringe on his face. “Morning. Alicia, right?”

She nodded and smiled back at him, eyes catching Dani’s behind Marc and smiling at him, too. “Yes. Morning. Marc?”

“Yeah. His brother, if that wasn’t obvious…” He grinned at Alex and poked him before motioning to Dani. “This is Dani, my boyfriend.”

“I noticed, last night.” She smiled again and shared a look with Alex as Dani and Marc shared a look between themselves and Marc sat back.

“Well at least someone did…”

They laughed and looked out opposite windows, Alex’s eyes scanning the scene in the mirror for a clue as to what they were on about. “Eh?”

“We got hit on. By two girls…they seemed nice enough, but…I don’t know. It’s like…I’m sat here welded to this guy, touching each other…” He noticed the two in the front blush and rolled his eyes. “Not like that. You know what I mean…sat close, I would have thought quite obviously a couple…”

“But not to some people…?”

“Exactly.” Marc nodded back at his brother and smiled at the way he’d regained his cool. He’s trying, bless him. “So, Alicia…you getting a lift home or coming to dirt track?”

“Getting a lift home.”

Alex coughed and interjected. “This time…”

They looked at each other again, Dani and Marc doing the same and smiling at how nervously cute they were, before Marc leant forward again slightly as they set off.

“Ah, so you ride?”

“I do. But today I’m busy. Well…this afternoon I’m busy. But next time…” She looked back at Alex as she said it, confirming the hope on his face and nodding. “Next time sounds good.”

Marc smiled at that and caught Alex’s eyes in the rear view mirror again, sharing the smile with him. “It does…” He noticed his brother’s look turn into a glare and grinned at Dani, the older rider sharing his amusement. “Think you can take us on?”

“No.” She laughed and shrugged, starting to relax. “I do it for fun. I know who you are. Well, you two. Almost pros. Good enough to have been for a few years.”

Marc nodded to himself, impressed, and then shrugged. “Oh, right. Well…thank you. Alex will be a pro soon enough. And me hopefully.”

Alicia smiled at that and shared another look with Alex, Dani and Marc repeating it again, both impressed with how in tune they seemed to be getting, and then Marc pointed at his boyfriend. “Dani races too.”

“Is, er…is your last name Pedrosa?”

Dani coughed, shocked, and smiled at her. “Er, yeah…”

“Ah I thought it was you, but I didn’t want to assume. You won everything before he won everything, right?”

Dani noticed Marc’s reaction at the him and smiled to himself, nodding at her. “I did. Before I got distracted.”

“I guess if you’re using Sunday to train, you’re not that distracted anymore?”

“Exactly. Although I imagine I might get my ass kicked today.” He saw Marc roll his eyes and prodded him. “This is dirt. This is your thing. Maybe next weekend, when we’re back on sensible ground, it will be the other way round…”

Marc’s face lit up and he grinned. “I look forward to beating you.”

“Maybe this time you could do it without taking me down…”

“Oh, I’ll take you down…”

The two in the front zoned it out as it faded into an innuendo-filled rivalry/declaration of love, Alicia’s hand reaching out to squeeze Alex’s leg, going red as she realised what she’d done, Alex glancing back and smiling as he saw why they two in the back had gone quiet – kissing – and then smiling over at her and watching her relax, reciprocating.

Those jeans from last night look and feel just as good today.

*

Dani and Marc stayed in the back even once Alicia had gone, Alex getting out to walk her to the door, a quick kiss goodbye, and then coming back and resigning himself to taxi service.

“You guys hungover?”

Dani looked up and met his eyes in the mirror. “Nope. You?”

“No. I went home early!”

“So did we!” Marc nodded innocently and then narrowed his eyes at the disbelief on his brother’s face. “Honestly. We were asleep by 1:30.”

Alex’s face melted into begrudging, impressed acceptance as he saw the agreement on Dani’s face and Marc sat back, smug.

Wow. Ok.

*

It took a while for Dani to get up to speed. He never slid around like Marc did – that was one of the things that had set everyone talking when the younger rider had showed up at a race again, absence unexplained and subject of rumours from the truth – massive crash – to the very-not-truth – teen pregnancies and marriages, fights, etc…stupid things. Stupid things that everyone had immediately forgotten about when Marc had gone out and broken the lap record on his second flier in qualifying, for the first time in a total of 3 by the end of the session. First by a few hundredths, then two tenths, then half a second. He’d spent all the practice sessions circulating somewhere in the midfield, starting off near the back and then getting closer to the top ten, and everyone thought he’d lost it, or at the very least would need a year to get it back. But no, lap record: Marc Marquez. He started from pole by seven tenths and by turn 5 was 2.3 clear of those chasing him. He’s back, he’s back, he’s back. And he suddenly looked as on-the-edge as he had before he’d been smashed through the edge by the truck – everything everywhere, a perfect dance between chaos and control – and it dawned on those watching that he hadn’t lost anything at all, he’d just checked the limit of everything then put it all together when it counted. And it counted. Dani remembered that day well, another one when he’d ended up in the gravel through no fault of his own, and he remembered walking back down the pit lane watching face after face of disbelief and amazement at ‘the kid in the lead’. By that point, lap 10, the lead was 12.3 seconds. Stoner, Stoner, Stoner had been the three words he’d heard the most. He slides it like Casey Stoner.

“It won’t last, he’ll crash.”

“If he was that good, he wouldn’t be here.“

“He’s back now. He obviously shouldn’t be here!”

“12…well, ok. 14 seconds isn’t that great against a field of amateurs if he’s that good.”

“His pole was the lap record.”

“But-“

“No, his pole was the lap record.”

“Amateur lap record.”

“No, lap record. Absolute lap record. Stefan Bradl’s lap record. Smashed.”

And then it went back to Stoner, Stoner, Stoner. The season had been erratic, either devastating crashes usually of his own doing or blistering pace leaving him time for a coffee at the finish line, and he won the championship. And the next one. And was in the lead of this one, and had stopped crashing. Mostly.

So Dani was never going to be as good on the surface. He didn’t ride like that – he kept it smoother. But it was a good exercise, and an incredible thrill to be out there with nothing to prove to anyone but himself. Marc and Alex already respected him, and all that was left was to figure out if he respected himself or not. And by lunch time, he did. Because he was on their tail, feeling how he should have been feeling before, feeling like he could even win one, if the dice fell right. So it will be interesting when we get back onto tarmac.

They ate splayed out in plastic chairs at an outdoor table, baking in the heat and grateful for the breeze that occasionally rolled over them. And he’s impressed.

“You know on Sunday.” Marc suddenly broke the silence and locked his eyes on his boyfriend. “Next Sunday…if you’re not on my exhaust going into the final corner, I’ll cover all your shifts we don’t share.”

Dani laughed and shrugged in acceptance, sharing a look with Alex before looking back at Marc and feeling his breath catch, mood suddenly calming and taking root. That. That’s how I think I look at you. “Ok.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds more before Marc nodded at him, communicating something Dani was unsure how to unravel, somewhere between pride, fire and nerves, air charged with something, and then carried on eating his sandwich. Alex felt it and looked between them.

I think he’s finally going to have a race...

Chapter Text

“Alberto. Can we talk to you?”

The pronoun ‘we’ sent the older man pirouetting around to look at his employees, desperate to see what was going on, horrible feeling starting to attack him. “We?”

“Yeah…” Dani cleared his throat and nodded, Marc stood next to him, both of them having come on Dani’s bike again and just walked in for their shift. Their boss looked from one face to the other and then back, waiting for a response and trying to figure it out. They don’t look like they hate each other. “We, er…we need to tell you something.”

“You can’t leave!”

The two riders frowned at each other and then back at him. “Yeah, we could. But we’re not leaving yet, don’t worry.”

“Right.” Yet. “Well…you’re not…I mean…killing each other.” He motioned at them and then craned his neck to see the one solo bike parked up. “And you came together again?” Friends? Truce?!

Dani, who they’d decided was the senior conversationalist, given that he was older, more senior in the job and had known Alberto longer, nodded and cleared his throat again. “Yeah…we did. Because…something happened. No! Don’t worry. Nothing bad. We were…ok, so you know why I didn’t like him…”

Past tense… “Yeah?”

“Ok, well…I was an idiot. And I realised that when we went to France. We, er…talked about some stuff, and…well…ok…” Dani coughed again and fidgeted, trying to figure out how to say it, before Marc rolled his eyes affectionately and grabbed the older rider’s head in his hands, pulling him in for a kiss.

Reality suspended for a few seconds as the pen Alberto had been holding hit the floor, closely followed by the bottom half of his jaw. He stood and stared and stared and stared, transfixed by the sight of the kiss, the way they both wanted it, the way they seemed so comfortable with it, the way it was actually happening. They pulled apart after a few seconds and looked at him, nervous but grinning. “Ok?”

WHAT! “WHAT!”

“Yeah…” Marc grinned and shrugged at him. “He’s my…boyfriend. Since Toulouse. We were just playing with you. Sorry.” Dani looked at his boyfriend’s face and smiled to himself. Puppy dog eyes. Cruel.

WHAT! “WHAT!”

They stared at the shocked figure in front of them for a few seconds, trying to judge whether it was negative or positive or just mind-blown, before Dani waved his hand in front of Alberto’s face to no reaction, and they shrugged at each other and gave up.

“Ok, well…I’ll make you a coffee.” Dani pulled Marc after him as he rounded their boss, and turned to him to ask if he wanted anything too. “Espresso, querido?”

The word seemed to set Alberto’s life back in motion and he whirled around again, staring, mouth still wide, pointing between them. “This isn’t a joke, is it?!”

“Not a joke.”

He seemed to freeze again and Marc took the initiative and pulled Dani after him this time, calling back to his boss.

“Cappuccino on the way. Remember to breathe.”

*

The week was a good week. It didn’t rain, Alberto accepted everything with a smile after a few hours of slack-jawed disbelief, and Marc and Dani spent every night together. 2 at Marc’s house, the rest at Dani’s. Alex stayed with Alicia one night, when her parents were away, and the other night, when they were all 4 there, Alicia included, had lead to that awkward moment when everyone wants to go and devour their other half but is also aware of the innate silence of the house around them. Alex was the one who just manned up and dealt with that problem though, moving his laptop and speakers into the hallway between their closed bedroom doors and choosing gapless playback and a lot of rock. Breakfast was nice though, and it reminded Marc with a strange bittersweet edge of being at home when he was younger. People. More people in the house, people who were nice, just made everything seem somehow friendlier. Good people.

Jorge texted Dani on the Friday and informed him he was going to go to the race and see about sponsoring them, or one of them, and demanded access. Dani texted back asking if he would rather ask that politely or keep it as an order, at which point Marc got a call from Jorge asking him very politely if he could go as his guest, which made the younger rider blush and stammer slightly, not really used to the acerbic tongue of the Mallorcan, nor the opposite super-sweetness, staring wide eyed at Dani until he rolled his eyes and grabbed the phone.

“Hey. You. Don’t call my boyfriend and bother him.”

“I’m not bothering him. Is he bothered?! And hello.”

“Hi. Yeah, he is a bit bothered. He doesn’t know how much of you to ignore, yet.”

“You shouldn’t ignore any of me! You see, that’s where you’re going wrong…maybe there’s still time for Marc-“

“No. See you on Sunday. Thanks for coming, and bye.”

“Ok, fine! Bye.”

They both ended the call with a smile and then Dani looked back at his boyfriend. “He’s…unique.”

“I got that feeling.”

“Just ignore him.”

“I like him.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. He seems like he has a personality.”

“He has a personality, definitely. Unfortunately it rarely gets much use.”

Marc laughed and put his hands around Dani’s waist. “Right, I’ll bear that in mind. So he’s thinking of sponsoring you?”

“Yeah…well…one of us.”

“What?!”

“Yeah. Maybe both…I mean…he wants to sponsor someone, just to see how it works more than anything I think. So it will be you or me, because he won’t do it with a stranger.”

“But…me?! It would be you, come on.”

“No. Another part of his personality: if I don’t do well enough, he won’t spend money. He’ll encourage and spend all the time in the world helping me out, but money? Not for no return on the investment. So I guess we’ll see how it ends up.”

“Now he sounds weird.”

“Nah. He’s good at what he does and I used to be good at what I do.”

“You’re incredible, no complaints. And what do you do?”

Incredible. “Ride.”

Marc nodded and then the start of that deliciously wicked spark started to dance in his eyes, hands going round and into Dani’s back pockets, squeezing, crotch pressing against him, lips heading towards his ear and voice breathy. “Oh, really? What do you ride?”

“Motorbikes.”

The younger rider dropped the flirt for a second to deadpan. “Really? Wow. When you could have said…”

“Ah.” Dani nodded and leaned into him to talk into his ear, realising where he was going. “Would you like me to ride you?”

Marc shivered in his arms and nodded. “You’re going to get me to the finish?”

The older rider smiled into his neck and made a little circle with his tongue. “Every single time.”

*

“We need to talk about this.”

Dani had been trying to continue the conversation since they’d all left for the track earlier that morning, to no avail. Weather looked good, they were feeling good, track should be good, everything was supposed to be good. But they’d somehow ended up in their first real argument.

“I mean it, Marc. We have to talk about it.”

“I don’t want to talk about it at the moment.”

“No, I know. You’re going to refuse to talk about it until it’s too late.”

“No, I’m refusing to talk about it because it’s not even a fucking topic of conversation. Besides, you’ve probably won anyway since I don’t want to fucking talk to you until after the race. So well done, no one will know.”

Ouch. Luckily, Alex was driving, so they could argue without endangering actual lives and limbs. “That’s not what I want. You know that, stop trying to make it-“

“I’m not trying to make it anything! You’re the one who brought it up! I didn’t even think about it! So don’t blame me for any of this. I have an opinion, yeah. But I didn’t have a problem until you made one.”

“I didn’t make it, I’m just not ignoring it.”

“You made it, Dani. You created it. You and your fear of everything. So well done. Mission accomplished.” They were now pulling into the car park, Alex grimacing with every new remark, even more so as they pulled to a stop and Dani immediately got out, slammed the door and stalked off. The younger Marquez waited a few seconds, observing Marc staring out the window, chest heaving up and down in a volatile mixture of hurt and anger, before deciding enough was enough.

“Talk to me. What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Fine. Dani doesn’t want to be a couple at the track. And I didn’t even think about it. You know how when you love someone, you don’t really want to let them know all the time. Best to deny they even exist every couple of weeks.”

The sarcasm had started bitter and cold and had risen to choking back tears by the end of the words, Alex only able to fixate on one part: when you love someone. “Oh. I’m sorry. There must be a reason, though…right?”

“Yeah, there’s a reason.” Marc wiped his eyes and took a deep breath, opening the door and stepping out into the heat, leaning back in to talk. “He cares more about what people think than he does about me.”

Then he slammed the door, put on a smile, and walked away in the opposite direction.

And they didn’t see each other until after the race.

The race that Dani won.

Chapter Text

Marc had done something unimaginably stupid that left him in 12th by turn 2: he’d tried to start the race in neutral. For someone who was expected to win it by a large margin, the error left jaws dropped around the paddock, and no one could understand how it could have possibly happened. But Dani did, and Marc did. Because his head was a complete mess. He’d put a lap together to qualify – a tenth quicker than the guy in P2, instead of the usual half a second – and had then sat on pole in neutral, head spinning, feeling the presence of Dani right behind him in fourth – his best grid position of the year – and really not in the right frame of mind for racing. Usually, he could draw a line between on track and off, but this wasn’t a bad memory, or a challenge, or doubt or something to prove. It was more, and all topped off with the reason for the problem sat right behind him, eyes probably tracing the word Marquez on his leathers, mind similarly spinning, but not in the same direction.

They hadn’t talked about it or to each other at all since the argument, and Marc’s mind was on I love him. I love him and he won’t even acknowledge me in public. Dani’s mind was ruminating over the truth that he’d never been allowed to properly explain: it wasn’t fear or not wanting to ‘come out’ for himself: it was about Marc. Maybe a proven rider in the World Championship could do that and it would be neutral or positive, obvious backlash ignored. But if he does that now, that’s who he is. And that might get in the way, because he should be Marc Marquez: the kid who wouldn’t give up. Not Marc Marquez: the gay rider (and he’s ok I guess). Dani was worried it would hinder his progress too much, and unnecessarily. He wanted to kiss him well done, he wanted to celebrate. He wanted to show him how much he loved him all the time, regardless of who was there. But it’s not that simple. There’s always a best case scenario, but you can’t always get it.

Dani got to Turn 2 in 3rd, behind the people he’d started behind except Marc, heart jumping in the air as he’d flashed past his boyfriend and he wasn’t quick off the line, not knowing why, and now knowing that he was in front. He hadn’t expected that: maybe he could challenge Marc for the victory. Maybe he could hang on and just follow him round, trying to claw at the gap he’d imagined would have been between them, but he’d never expected to be the one in front; waiting for the noise of Marc behind him, waiting for him to appear, waiting for the moment he was dreading yet curious about when they really got to test out what they’d talked about: “On track, we’re 93 and 26. We’re not Marc and Dani.” “I know.”

In the end, he didn’t get the chance. After a few laps letting his mind wander through all of these questions and finding himself slipping back, something snapped in his brain and he decided that was it. He caught the two in front again relatively easily, using his superior straight line speed to take the first, then set about shadowing the leader, learning and waiting, the noise of whoever was chasing gradually getting fainter as they pulled away.

He was just wondering if or when Marc was going to appear when they rounded a corner and suddenly saw yellow flags, followed by the sight of a 93-branded fairing stranded in the middle of the gravel trap, rest of the bike a fair distance from it, medical staff and marshals clustered around someone. Dani’s heart feel through the floor, he missed 3rd gear and the gap between him and the leader shot further away, the older rider panicking absolutely, nothing of the state of Marc visible; whether he was ok, whether he wasn’t, whether he was up.

He took a long look at the screen down the straight, sacrificing more time, having already decided that if he didn’t find out soon about the crash, he was going to pull over. He could fake a mechanical, go back to the pits, make a scene enough to be believed and then casually ask about Marc. And try not to hysterically cry whilst I do it. The screen was useful, though, and he could at least see his boyfriend on his feet, testing himself out, bike an absolute shocker of a mess. Jesus Christ. He took a few breaths round the rest of the lap and made a decision.

I go past once more, and if he’s visibly ok, I’m going to win this.

He didn’t know what he’d been expecting to see but when they got back round there, Marc was stood at the marshal post, just finishing pulling his helmet off, clapping. In one piece, unsupported, his head had snapped up as the noise of the leaders hit his ears, knowing one of them was Dani, and the marshals around him looked at each other in confusion as he instantaneously became a superfan of a rival. What the-?

Dani caught it, took a deep breath, and could feel that same feeling from the dirt track in Rufea hit him like a soothing brick wall. You actually think I can do this.

He trailed behind the leader by about 1.8 seconds by this point, the shock and the missed gear costly, and there were 8 laps left. It seemed a lot, but Marc could have probably done it in 2. Incredible. Dani let his mind repeat that word to himself a few times, remembering the word Marc had used to describe him, and then really set his mind on the trophy. He caught him with 3 laps left, passed him on the next lap, and then concentrated on making the last lap something seriously special; crossing the line a second clear.

He’d almost forgotten what it felt like, winning. It used to set him on fire in a way he never thought he’d find in anything else, before Marc, and as he crossed the line and started to slow, all he could do was just hang his head slightly, unprepared for the emotions that hit him, indescribable even when they hadn’t come after a huge argument and watching the person you loved crash out. I won. He accepted a couple of nods of congratulations from people, sat up and biting his lip in his helmet, grateful for the fact that it was a sunny day and his visor was dark enough to afford him some privacy, tears blurring his vision slightly as he drank in some deep breaths and let it just wash over him for a few seconds. He got to the corner that had almost cost them both the race, one arm leaning on the tank, and felt himself crack into a grin and flip up his visor. Someone was trying to thumb a lift back.

Marc’s thumb was literally out, stood there like nothing had happened, cheeky grin invisible but surely there, the world's most unlikely and glamourous hitchhiker, helmet back on once he’d obviously realised he was absolutely fine and he’d come up with the idea. He waited for Dani to stop in front of him, they locked eyes for a split second, and then the younger rider got on the back, leaning round to get closer to allow his voice to be heard, shouting above the noise. He gave Dani a quick squeeze, holding on anyway and not giving too much away, aware that however he felt about going public, they had to talk about it before making a decision. Other things, though...I decide for myself. And I choose now.

“I LOVE YOU. I THOUGHT NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO TELL YOU.”

Of all the things he could have said. Dani’s heart, somewhat calming by the point he’d picked up Marc, and the fact that the younger rider had been there waiting, was now hammering in his chest, a completely different kind of rush to the one of winning, a worded response to that delayed before his brain caught up with what he’d said. “YOU GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK, YOU BASTARD.”

I didn’t say it because I wanted an answer, right? Marc tried to take in the lack of response and squeezed him again. “SORRY. I SAW YOU DROP BACK. I’M FINE.” Right? He was just starting to feel himself sink down into despair and disappointment when Dani’s hand moved back from the clutch to pat him on the leg.

“GOOD. WE NEED TO TALK-.”

You’re really not going to say anything? “I KNOW. AND WELL DONE. JUST ENJOY THE MOMENT...IT WON’T LAST FOREVER.”

It will. “ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THE WIN?”

“YEAH.”

“GOOD. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU TOO, AND I THINK THAT WILL LAST FOREVER.”

Marc took in a couple of quick breaths as it sunk in, understanding upon hearing the words himself why Dani had maybe needed a couple of moments to say anything, overwhelmed. How did he put it? The younger rider bit his lip, grinning and tears starting to prick at his eyes, before squeezing one last time and whacking Dani's leg. "YOU GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK, YOU BASTARD."

"YOU LOVE ME ANYWAY."

By then, they were entering the pits and Marc took a deep breath and readied himself to pretend the moment hadn't happened, saying one last thing as Dani stopped short of Parc Ferme to let him off. The younger rider got back on solid ground and leaned in again, making sure it was only loud enough for his boyfriend to hear, everything casual to the casual observer. "I do. I'll see you in a bit, and thanks for the lift."

"Thanks for the win."

Marc grinned and shook his head, walking back into the garage and flipping him off. "That's on you. Now fuck off and celebrate."

Chapter Text

The night was different. The celebrations at the track were fun, Dani enjoying himself and his champagne, Marc getting dragged in to join, the situation at least making it obvious they were friends. And people knowing they were friends was necessary, because they were being pulled together by a constant tractor beam of glances and smiles, neither able to ignore the other. They were going to talk about the argument and everything, but not then. Not for a few weeks, until it mattered.

Alex won his race, and Jorge had a good day, following them back to The Gaucho Place on his bike and smirking at the ruffled hair and flushed cheeks that emerged from the car when they arrived. Marc drove, champagneless as he was, but he’d locked Dani in for five minutes once Alex had bolted when they got there, congratulating his boyfriend on his win and promising to do it a lot more once they got ‘home’, which they both assumed correctly meant ‘Dani’s house’. The bar was fun, they were a couple again, visibly, and Jorge decided he was going to sponsor both of them, but less than he’d originally thought.

He was , however, going to become a title sponsor of the sort of ‘team’ setup that Alex rode for. Dani had explained the situation with Marc and the history and Alex, swearing him to secrecy, and the Mallorcan had taken more on board than Dani had realised. Because the ‘title sponsor’ deal was big. The kind of big that actually required lawyers.

“You don’t have to.”

“I know that. I’m not doing it out of charity. I want to get into it longer term, so I want someone young. Someone good. Someone who appreciates it and will remember it when they win bigger things. Someone who will wear the sunglasses and look good, too…and that’s basically a description of Alex.”

“But, I mean…it’s a lot to think ab-“

“If he says yes, it will be done by Monday lunchtime.”

Alex said yes.

*

“I want to talk to you.” Marc whisked Dani out onto the terrace, pulling out a cigarette and accepting the ‘tut tut’ nervously, before smiling as it was promptly stolen off him every other drag. “So…”

“So…?”

“Alex. And Jorge…I mean…I guess you told him-“

“Not as much as it seems. Not about you, anyway. All I really said was that you pay. Both of you, I mean. That no one helps you out.”

“Ok, ok.” Marc smiled at the older rider’s nervousness and blew smoke in his face to prove he wasn’t being so serious about everything. “That’s what I wanted to know. And also…just ask you…I look out for Alex. He’s in charge of himself, but he trusts me and he’s asking me whether it’s a good idea. So I’m asking you. Is it a good idea?”

Dani stared back at him and felt himself relax immediately. You trust my opinion as much as he trusts yours? “If you’re happy with everything, then yeah. If what you’re asking is ‘will Jorge fuck him over’, then no. Absolutely never. He could drive him mad, that I won’t deny…” They shared a smile before Dani threw the cigarette end off the roof and pulled his boyfriend in. “…but he will never, ever rip him off.”

“Good.” Marc took a deep breath and moaned softly into the kiss as he relaxed against him. “That’s all I wanted to know.”

They pulled apart and stood for a while, watching people coming and going, sharing another cigarette which they’d decided was ok on special occasions (as long as they were stolen off someone and never bought), thinking. The same things, or very similar, and knowing that they were, in that peculiar way that happens when you’ve been through an experience together and reacted in the same way. Eventually, Dani flicked the second end over and looked up at the stars, voice suddenly seeming so loud.

“Marc?”

Yes. “I’m right here; I think I’d know who you were talking to.”

The older rider looked back at him and shrugged in agreement, nodding through a smile. “Maybe…”

“But go on.”

“Ok.” Dani took a deep breath and looked up again before locking his eyes back on his. “Did you mean it?”

The mixture in his eyes, the silence around them, although the background was loud enough, and the sudden, direct question made him shiver. Did I mean it. “You mean when I told you I love you?”

“Y-yeah.”

He’s so nervous. “I meant it. I mean it. It’s been going round in my head since a couple of days ago…I mean, I don’t…think…I believe in love at first sight. Because on first sight I didn’t love you, I just wanted you. But then…I don’t know…if you think about first sight as the moment after you heard me out and understood, in that hotel in France or wherever the fuck we were, then maybe I do. Something changed. I mean, I think I kind of gave that away, clinging to you like that after the first time we slept together…”

Dani nodded, eyes captivated by the way the younger man’s face moved when he spoke; his tongue doing things it should never be allowed to, the light catching in his eyes as he explained and changed from looking at Dani to looking away at the view, streetlight lighting his profile brighter than the moon could. “I felt it.”

“I was scared you’d run away.”

“I was scared you had run away! I was about to burst into tears when I woke up and you’d gone!”

Marc’s face melted and he looked back at him again. “Aww! I’m sorry! I just wanted to get you breakfast!”

“I know. It didn’t last long, don’t worry.”

“Good! But yeah…I mean it. I was thinking about it for a while because, according to New York dating protocols and wartime romances, it’s a bit quick. But…” He smiled at Dani’s laugh and nodded. “But…mainly because I don’t have anything to compare it to. I’ve never come close to anything like this. I mean, fair enough…I’m sooooooo much younger than -OW!” The younger narrowed his eyes and fake glared at his boyfriend before cracking into a grin. “Just joking. You’re young. Promise…please don’t hurt me again…”

“Fine.” Dani grinned and went back to leaning next to him, leaning in slightly further for the next remark. “Although usually you ask for more…”

“Yeah, and I will not be shamed.” They shared a knowing, sideways glance and smiled before he carried on. “But yeah…I don’t know what it’s meant to be like, so I was imagining it on different scales and thinking through different scenarios...”

“Scales and scenarios?”

“Yeah! Maybe the internet helped slightly.” He swigged some beer and laughed at himself. “Like…Would you jump off a bridge? Yes. Would you move to a foreign country? Yes. Would you raise a kid with him? Yes. Are you self-conscious about how you look? No. Have you cried about him? Yes. Can you imagine life without him? No. Then you are in looooove! Ha. And then, obviously, after the stupid stuff…there’s just how I feel. No internet quizzes can make you feel like you’re alive. When I walk up to your house and I know you’re there…I don’t know. It’s magic. It’s like I get happier and happier the closer I get. And…ok so I know I’m not easy to make blush, right?” He waited for the resounding nod from a hypnotized Dani before carrying on. “Truth is, I’ve slept with quite a few people. More than the Pope would like. Men and women, yeah. Good? Always. Hot? Always. But always with that barrier. You know? I can tell you now, I’ve never let anyone do to me what we do. I don’t even mean…the stuff where we sometimes wake up blushing…I mean…you love me. And when we shut the bedroom door, you can do whatever you want. I mean…this is really hard to explain when I’m bruised and tipsy, ok?!” He smiled at Dani and took a deeper breath, the way that he was looking back at him too mesmerizing. “Anything. Not in a weak way…I just mean…I know you want me to feel how I want to make you feel. I trust you.” He looked away and shrugged ever-so-slightly, cheeks flushed and voice lower. “No one ever touches that scar. Not in situations like that. Not for...fun. Or pleasure or whatever. But you do. And I don’t hate it. It almost makes it feel like it’s fading. And it’s like you know that. Like that’s the reason why you do it. No one presses their forehead against mine like that and sees everything. But you do. And…” He gulped, words suddenly so far away from familiar territory that it felt like something huge. It is. “And…you’re quite pretty and you have a nice house.” He grinned, some nerves making it impossible to stay completely serious, and then took a deep breath. “I love you. I love you so much, and so quickly, it’s absolutely terrifying.”

Dani took that in and nodded, gulping slightly. “I love you too. I understand.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds, air suddenly seeming thick and hot and like it was wrapping them up and closer together, light reflecting in two sets of deep brown eyes, before Dani reached up and gently smoothed some of Marc’s hair into what it should be, eyes so concentrated on it, so much attention given to a simple gesture that the younger rider stepped into the half embrace and wrapped him up in a hug without really being able to stop himself. And it was a hug. Nothing more, no undertone, it was just a hug. It could have been Alex, or in the not-too-distant past one of his parents, because it was just saying you’re so important that I need to hug you.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, completely quiet, rocking slightly on their feet, before Marc finally pulled away and took a deep breath.

“Ok. Can we go home, now?”

Dani wound their fingers together and pulled his hand up to press a kiss against the back of it. “Yeah, we can.”

They said their goodbyes, Alex bringing Alicia along for them to leave, too, and the two couples walked out the front door and then split off in opposing directions, mirrored paths creating a mirrored image, before a slightly shaky Mallorcan appeared in the doorway and whistled up the street.

“Dani!”

He watched his friend turned to Marc and just knew he was rolling his eyes. “Yeah?”

“Well done.”

“You said that already!” The riders grimaced slightly at the noise; the Mallorcan ignoring it completely.

“I don’t mean for winning. I heard you!”

The two smaller figures slightly up the hill turned to each other again, this time obviously sharing a ‘what is he talking about?’ moment. “What?!”

“I heard what you just told him. I came to find you and accidentally heard you. Well done.”

Dani felt his face flush and fought the immediate urge to just give him the finger, before that faded and he took in the tone of the well done. Marc looked at him quizzically, voice low enough to keep the conversation private. "Why?"

"Because I said I'd never say that ever again." Deep breath. "I said I wouldn't dare."

Wow.

Jorge didn’t wait for an audible reply before he carried on, too tipsy to care about it being on the street, wanting to say it when he thought it before he went back to his date was it Catalina or Carolina? and the moment got lost. “I told you you were wrong. I want you to remember that. I want you to remember that I told you, and I want you to remember why. And I want to tell you something different this time: you’re right. And you will never, ever have to feel how she made you feel. Never again."

The older rider stood there, slightly speechless, sudden emotion hitting him full-force and from a very unexpected source, before managing to nod and clear his throat. "Th-thanks." He felt Marc squeeze his hand like he was providing the full stop at the end of what Jorge had said, making it final, and making it sink in, before he got himself back under control and marveled at the two sides of the wonderful, over-serious but giggle-prone poser currently yelling raw emotions up the street at him. "Thank you!"

The Mallorcan nodded and smiled at him before pointing off up the hill as someone appeared trying to drag him back inside, time for one last yell before he disappeared. "Now go home, Pedrosa! You're drunk."

Yes, I'm the one who's drunk. Dani smiled to himself and nodded at him, watching him disappear before turning round and setting them walking again, taking a few seconds for that to really process, everything swirling. Marc seemed to judge the mood between humour, irony and emotion perfectly and pressed his lips gently against Dani's ear once they'd gone a few more paces and he felt the calm return to the older rider again.

"Never."

Chapter Text

By the time they’d got back, through the door and into the house, only a handful of words had been said; both feeling that they’d done enough to communicate whatever they were trying to say, anything else could be said with fingertips and lips and tongues. Although it was late, Dani automatically turned on the shower, the water falling to the floor like white noise, barely covering the soft, distant sounds of Marc in the kitchen downstairs, making some food for himself after his stomach had said more on the way back than he had.

Dani locked eyes with himself in the mirror, trying to figure out if there was that much difference in him or if it was all internal, shirt off but still in jeans, all the little scars from crashes picked out immediately by eyes too expertly used to seeing them, before footsteps on the stairs made him pause and look through the mirror at the door, which he’d left open, Marc appearing a few seconds later holding a sandwich, mouth stuffed, leaning against the doorframe. Casual, ravenous and ruffled.

“Hey. I used the last cheese.”

The older rider smiled at him and shook his head affectionately, loving the change from pouring-his-heart-out romantic to 1am sandwiches. “Ok, I’ll get more tomorrow.”

“Are you at work?” A shower of crumbs came out with the words and Marc’s eyes widened in an ‘oops’, Dani shrugging at him, not caring at all, watching as he made a ‘sshh’ motion with his free hand and kicked them back out into the hallway. Smooth.

“Yeah. 4. And you know the only other person who's ever here just saw you do that, right?”

“I’m not. And yeah, but…you know…”

“I know. And…probably for the best.”

Marc chewed through the latest massive mouthful and raised his eyebrows. “Eh?”

Sexy even when chewing. “I saw the way you were walking up the hill, babe. It’s going to hurt tomorrow.”

“Ah.” Babe. The younger rider nodded and shrugged, dusting his hands off as he was finally done with the sandwich. “Yeah, kind of don’t want to take my clothes off…don’t think it’s going to be pretty.”

“Shower?”

“With or without you?”

“With.”

“Then yeah. And I see what you did there.”

“I thought you said you weren’t self-conscious?”

“I’m not.” Marc smiled at him and walked up behind him at the mirror, arms going round his waist and lips pressing briefly into his neck. “I just know you’re going to fuss.”

Dani grinned at him, knowing that was true, and shrugged before frowning slightly. “You got checked out, didn’t you?”

“No.” The younger rider looked back at him and shrugged. “Not since the marshals realised I was still a complete human with no parts missing.”

“Don’t joke.”

“I’m not joking. I’m saying the truth in a slightly funny way so we can all deal with it a bit better.”

We. “You ok?” Dani broke away from how they were, turning so the mirror wasn’t how he could manage to make eye contact, and frowned up at him. “I didn’t see what happened…”

“I’m ok.” Marc fingers traced a couple of scars on Dani’s collarbone, eyes following them, not looking at him. “Highside. You saw the bike…I mean…ok, no. Don’t want to talk about money now. But me…I’m ok. Nothing more than bruised, promise. Everything works. Everything hurts…” He smiled back at Dani and pecked him on the check. “But everything works.”

“Ok. And…you’re ok. I mean…not physically ok, I mean…are you ok.”

The million dollar question. “Now, I’m fine. Better than before, because I was always wondering how it would be when I took another hit like that. But when I hit the floor…no. Not I was not ok.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.” He noticed the flash of panic in Dani’s eyes and shook his head. “Not because there’s anything I’m keeping hidden, promise. Just because…it’s done now. Don’t want to waste time talking about it. I freaked out, and that’s why it took me a while to get up. I was really winded, but…well, you know how that feels. But it feels pretty similar when you’ve smashed yourself up, too. But I almost…feel better for it?! In my head, anyway.”

“Ok. I remember what you said before, so ok. If you say it’s all ok, then it’s all ok.”

“What I said before?”

“About how you’re not the guy hiding behind the smile.”

“Ah, yeah. Exactly!” Marc grinned as counter-evidence and then relaxed into a warmer, less manic smile. “Right, Pedrosa. Undress me.”

“Not going to be good, is it?”

“I hope you mean the bruises…”

“Yes, yes. I mean bruises. I’m sure it will be just as beautiful as normal, don’t worry.”

Marc smiled and nodded before he caught Dani’s chin and tilted his head up to look at him, voice soft. “Be gentle.”

Dani nodded, eyes closing as he was kissed briefly, and took a deep breath. “I will. And I think that’s the first time you’re ever said that.”

“Probably true.” The younger rider smiled at him again and raised his arms, allowing his t shirt to be pulled off, hearing the wince of breath escape his boyfriend as he got the first view of the damage. “Is it bad?”

Dani pulled the t shirt free and threw it back out the door into the hallway, moving aside to let Marc look in the mirror. “Ooooh ouch. That is impressive.”

“Not quite the word I’d use. And I see you landed on your side.”

“Yeah…” Marc turned to get a better view of that and grimaced. “Ooow…”

“Is it one of those things where it hurts more when you look at it?”

“Exactly! Fuck. Urgh. Urgh….Daniiiii….owwwww….” He whined a bit and grimaced. “I was kind of fine and now I’m transfixed.” His eyes were almost literally glued to it in the mirror. “Daniiiiiii, make it go away!”

“I would!”

“I know. Ok, I’m going to close my eyes.” He did just that and took a deep breath. “Yeah, better already. Maybe.”

“Right ok, ready for the bottom layer?” Dani undid the younger rider’s jeans after he’d nodded and pulled them down, Marc with his hands gently on his hips, smirking down at him, eyes open again. “Don’t say anything cheeky, Marquez. And I don’t think it’s too bad on your legs…”

“Nah, I think they’re ok. But there’s one more surprise I think…” He made a face and the older rider immediately got what he was saying.

“Oh dear…”

“Yep.” Marc grinned and grabbed Dani’s hand to drag him back up, stepping out of his jeans and kicking them back at the same time. “I think that experiment we tried last week might have to become the norm for a few days. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Dani shook his head and squeezed Marc’s hand. “I don’t care.”

“Really?!”

“I’m not going to lie, I’ve…ok…” He went slightly red and then shrugged, nervous. “I’d not done that often before. You know that. But…anything is ok. Everything is more than ok.”

“Ok. I didn’t know that. You should have-“

“I’m telling you now.”

“I guess today is bare your soul day…”

Dani shrugged and nodded, suddenly feeling incredibly vulnerable, and smiled as Marc immediately noticed and pulled him in for a kiss, this one saying a lot more, hands raking through his hair and ending with a couple a seconds of breath on his neck, before he pulled away and got them back on track.

“We’ll go slow. Promise. And now…let’s see the race-winning ass in question, Pedrosa.”

“I, er…didn’t realise this was a bargaining kind of situation…”

“We’re both getting in the shower, aren’t we?”

“Maybe…”

“Now who’s bargaining!” The taller man grinned and popped the button on his boyfriend’s jeans. “You’re going to have to do the rest yourself, I don’t think I can bend down very well.”

“Is this a preview of when we’re 80?”

“Probably! Although you’re going to beat me there, too.” Marc smiled again and pouted in sympathy as Dani huffed slightly and got himself out his jeans, throwing them on top of Marc’s and then following them with his boxers.

“Right, moment of truth.”

Marc smiled and nodded before turning round. “Front’s fine. But I think…well…fire away…and you’ll see…”

Dani held his breath as he gently hooked his fingers under the waistband and pulled them slowly down, the end of a bruise just visible at the top of Marc’s thigh, obviously part of something worse. “Oh baby…”

“Me or my ass?”

“Both. Poor baby…” The boxers followed Dani’s onto the pile in the hall. “Ouchy.”

“Is it bad?” Marc shivered and grimaced as he felt Dani’s hand gently trace a line on his skin, obviously tracing the shape of the damage. “Be honest.”

“Ok.” Grimace. “It’s not good. You’ve lost some skin…and basically the whole right hand side has changed race.”

“Fuck…” Marc groaned again as Dani’s hand gently pushed against the bruise. “Owwwww…”

“Does it hurt?”

“Yeah.” Breath. “But not as bad as my ribs, actually…I think it’s ‘cause I can’t see it.”

“Yeah I don’t think you should try and look…” Dani stood back up and opened the shower door, letting Marc go in first. “I think you should also promise me right now that if this happens again, you get checked out. Properly. Please?”

The younger rider stepped back under the water and smiled as it flattened his hair, nodding. “Ok, ok. Sorry Nurse Dani.”

He’s in quite a lot of pain. He could see the ever-so-slightly gritted teeth behind the smile and sighed, overwhelming relief that he was ok suddenly coming back in one blow. “I can see right through you, you know.”

“What?”

“Stop.”

Marc did as he was told and froze, feeling the bottle of shampoo gently taken out of his hand and found himself manoeuvered to the side so Dani was under the water too. “I was trying to ignore it.”

“Don’t.” The older rider did a quick and reasonable job of washing himself before turning his attention on Marc.

“Why?”

“Because if you’re hurting I want to know.”

“But you won. That was more import-“

“No, it wasn’t. I won. That was hours ago, and since then…well, you know. Close your eyes.” Marc did as he was told and felt hands start to massage his hair and scalp, shampoo lathering under the touch, younger rider’s hands snaking around Dani’s waist now they weren’t needed. “Tell me if it hurts.”

“It feels so good…I just…” He trailed off and hung his head slightly, shoulders relaxed, and Dani listened, rapt, to the little hums of pleasure that appeared, washing his hair, then his own, then Marc’s shoulders, chest, back, stomach…fingers incredibly light over the bruises from the crash, no complaints at all.

“It’s going to get intimate now…”

“More rehearsal for old age..? Or something more fun?”

“That depends how much pain you’re in.”

“Not enough.” The younger rider opened his eyes and smiled, not wickedly like normal, just encouraging. “To stop that.”

“Ok, then.” Dani smiled and put more shower gel into his hands before putting them back around the younger rider’s waist and sliding them down to cup each cheek, continuing as gently as he could, scratches on one side tiny ridges against his fingers, this time maybe a little wince, but definitely unavoidable, fingers gently parting his ass and spreading the soap like every centimetre was a square mile, and then moved back over his hips, down to his crotch, stroking his cock, still technically washing, Marc’s eyes closing again and head going back this time, biting his lip.

“God, Dani…”

The way he said that, in moments like this, when it was something deeper than just clawing at each other, made Dani’s hair stand on end. “Good?”

“Hmm...” His legs twitched slightly as the older rider’s finger cupped round his balls and Dani stepped closer, hand between the younger’s legs, not missing an inch that he hadn’t got to from the other side, soap suds removing some of the friction that would have been a bit too sensitive after the impact, everything so much more intimate when it wasn’t actually meant to be sexual, although it was, it was actually happening for a practical reason, Marc humming his approval. “I…I just…”

Dani nodded and pecked a kiss onto his cheek as the younger rider nuzzled into his neck, hands going back around his waist and letting him just lean there for a few seconds. “Shh.”

Marc nodded into his neck, doing exactly that, and they stood there for a few minutes under the water until the soap had gone and they both stirred at the same time.

“We’re doing that a lot tonight.”

“We are.” Dani nodded and turned off the water, pushing the door open and grabbing a towel for each of them. “I don’t think we got chance to let the crash sink in, before.”

“Maybe not.” The younger rider followed his boyfriend back onto dry land and smiled as Dani took over again and massaged his hair drier with the towel. “Oh so it doesn’t stop after the shower?”

“Nope.” The older smiled and dried himself off, leaving Marc under the towel like a slightly offensive Saudi Halloween costume, and then took it back and did the same ritual as before to dry him off, leading him back into the bedroom once he was and lying him down on the bed, curtains and window open to let the fresh, cool air in, along with the moonlight, which was doing a good job of making the bruises look a lot better. “It’s not going to stop until I can’t see any trace of it. Ok?”

“Not complaining.” He tried cheeky but it got lost on the way and only adoration and vulnerability made it out. “At all.”

“Good.” Dani gulped and nodded at him, lying down next to him and finding his hand grabbed. He squeezed in return as Marc did, then propped himself up on his side and took a deep breath. “You want to go to sleep, or…not…?”

“Not?”

“Whatever you want. I didn’t really want to push you in the shower, I was worried you might fall over…”

“Ha. Right…well maybe that was a good idea, I admit.” He pulled on Dani’s arm until he got the hint and sat over him, one knee on each side, not daring to actually sit on him. “But today…after everything…let’s be careful. But let’s not go to sleep.”

“Ok.” The older rider nodded and leant down for a kiss, feeling Marc’s hands instinctively start to explore his back, muscles responding under the touch, lips humming as they both let out little noises. “Just tell me if-“

“You won’t.”

“But tell-“

“You’re not going to hurt me. I promise.” Marc smiled up at him and nodded. “Promise. And you…I mean…we don’t have to go all the way. Maybe you need a bit longer for that, again. Like I said, I’m out of bounds. But just…”

“Ok.”

Marc pulled away again and took a breath. “You don’t know what I’m going to say.”

“I think I do…”

“Really? Because it sounded really gay in my head.”

“The offensive use of that word…” Dani lost his breath in another kiss before smiling and pulling away. “…or genuinely gay?”

Marc grinned in a sorry not sorry. “Both in this case…”

“Then I definitely know.” He pressed his index finger to Marc’s lips and shook his head before leaning down to whisper, feeling him squirm ever-so-slightly under him. “Just touch you.”

The younger rider nodded, forehead to forehead, and moved his hands down Dani’s back to settle him into sitting a bit lower, cupping his ass and relaxing back into the pillow with a little grimace, taking them both with him. How…

“Yeah, pretty much...” Exactly.

Chapter Text

“Wake up.” Dani sat himself on the edge of the bed and blew on Marc’s face, the younger rider scrunching it up in response and almost spitting at him, eyes blasting open.

“URGH! WHAT?!”

“Jesus, sorry!” Dani laughed at him and shrugged in response to getting the finger from a grumpy boyfriend. “I was trying to be nice, but then you spat at me.”

“Hm.” Marc closed his eyes again before opening one and training it on Dani’s face. “Why am I awake?”

“Because it’s 950am and I brought breakfast.” Puppy dog eyes will work. “Sorry, baby.”

“Urrgghhhhhhhhh….” He groaned, but smiling now, puppy dog eyes 100% successful, and rested one arm over his eyes, light too bright. “Thank you baby. Urggghhhhhhhh.”

“I know. But you did say that after 930 was fair.”

“I know but you should never listen to me. If I say 930 I mean early afternoon.”

“It’s never going to be my fault, so give up.” Dani grinned at the glare and bent down to the tray of stuff he’d brought up for breakfast, grabbing a piece of buttered toast and whacking it down straight on Marc’s face, dancing out of reach as he tried to retaliate. The retaliation failed miserably and the younger rider’s laughter went from giggles to grimaces as he moved for the first time and remembered the crash. “Owwwwwww!! Owww owww owww Daniiii….” Still mostly giggling, movement involuntary and painful. “Owwwww!”

“Awwww I’m sorry!” The older rider sat back next to him and picked up a different piece, Marc narrowing his eyes nervously, just about calmly breathing, grinning, not quite sure if he was just going to do it again, and slowly moved it towards his mouth, like he was scared he was going to spook him, and Marc nibbled the edge of it like an oversized extremely attractive rodent. The eye contact was constant and hilariously tense, silence making them both then immediately burst out laughing, the nibbling weird.

“I’M NOT A ZOO ANIMAL!”

“You took it!”

“I thought feeding me would be a bit hot but it’s too fucking weird.”

“My thoughts exactly.” He gently laid the toast to rest on Marc’s chest and picked up the tray, putting it over Marc and in the middle of the bed, then going round to his side and getting back in. “And it’s for sharing, so try and control your appetite.”

“Are you saying I eat a lot?” A ruffled, pouting and bleary eyed head blinked up at him.

“No.” Dani shook his head and picked up his own slice, trying to keep a straight face. “I’m saying you eat like a gorilla.”

Marc pouted again, eyes laughing, and then stuck his finger in a pot of something and wiped it on the older rider’s cheek, only realising once he saw the colour and licked it nervously off his finger what it was. “OhmyGodDanididyoubuymoreNUTELLA?!”

“Yesterday.” He nodded and tried to get his tongue to reach far enough to lick it off himself, failing, and then leaning down to let Marc do it instead.

“How did I miss that last night?!”

“You had cheese.”

“Yeah, I did. If I’d known there was Nutella...you are the best boyfriend in the world. Nutella! Nutella. Do you understand?!”

“Obviously not…” God. Hair, eyes, the way his face crinkles when he yawns…

“Well I love you, yeah? But Nutella...”

“Be quiet and eat it then.”

They chewed in comfortable silence for a few seconds before Dani turned back to him and smiled, Marc sensing the staring and turning to him. “What?”

“Love you, too.”

*

“Morning. You ok?”

“You mean ‘Why are you calling me?’” Alex laughed at the flustered response and shook his head. “I’m fine. Are you sore?”

“Yeah. But I have a good nurse. He bought Nutella.” He nodded at Dani, knowing Alex would understand. And he did.

“ARGH bring some home?! WELL DONE, DANI! Wait, are you coming home today? I need to talk to you.”

A million terrible things immediately flashed through Marc’s head, Nutella afterglow fading, and he realised that must have been obvious in his tone. “What’s going on?!”

“Calm down! I just want to talk to you about something. Face to face. I don’t really remember what you look like, so…bring some ID and get back here before nightfall.”

“Shit, that’s true. I’m sorry I’ve kind of abandoned you-“

“I’m joking. And Alicia has been here anyway…I mean…actually yeah. So obviously, we’re the same age, almost. But she lives with her parents and her parents let her come here and they know it’s just us? I mean, me and her? I know I live with you and that’s a good idea but I would have thought normal people thought it was a bad idea? And would think this was a bad idea?”

“She stays a lot?”

“Yeah. Empty house, new girlfriend…”

“I understand.”

“I know. Hence why you’re in bed with Dani right now.”

“How can you tell?!”

“You obviously woke up recently and I know he’s not at work until 4. And I heard him hear me scream about the Nutella.”

“Busted.” Marc grinned at his boyfriend and shrugged. “But hands are above the covers, promise.”

“I wasn’t even thinking that! Ew! But don’t you think that’s amazing? Her parents?”

“Yeah, I guess. But…she seems like she wouldn’t abuse that though. You know what I mean?”

“You mean she won’t end up pregnant and make me marry her?”

“Exactly. Although I’m pretty sure you would be equally to blame if she ‘ended up pregnant’. Do we need to have one of those awkward conversations again?” He grinned at the sheer noooo in Alex’s voice and laughed to himself.

“NOO! We don’t. And yeah, true. You know what I mean! But…seriously. I want to talk to you. So will you be back later?”

“I will. Did you hear from Jorge?”

“Yeah that’s what it is, exactly. He’s sorted everything out so he’s emailed it me for us to read. I forwarded it.”

Us. I love you, bro. “Cool, that sounds promising.”

“It does. And I should probably get back to work now, but I’ll be home at 5 or something like that.”

“Ok. Have a good day and sorry I’m being shit. I’ll be back before then I think.”

“Ok. Bye! And bye, Dani!”

*

“Hungover?”

“Yes. Walking around this town in a suit. Wishing I hadn’t shaved my hair off last week because I feel like I’m 23 again. And I found a packet of cigarettes in the pocket of the jacket and I’m now sat in a café with a beer, chain smoking them…in the suit, which is crumpled and now smelly. And it’s not a nice café, Dani. I miss my apartment and my iron.”

“Ok…”

“And I’m getting stared at quite a lot. I think the beer in the daytime, the cigarettes, the low budget place and the convict hair cut go really well together but I keep making expensive and important sounding phone calls and my suit was 3400 euros and you can still tell.”

“People probably think you’re a crime lord.”

The Mallorcan giggled a few seconds and then coughed. “I thought you said Time Lord, but either could work. Why are you calling anyway?”

Time Lord. “Because I just got your email about the money and you must be insane!”

“What?! I said my main priority was Alex-“

“Yeah I know, so why are you giving us so much?!”

“Oh! What? Yours isn’t much and Marc’s isn’t much more…?”

“I know you live in the city now, but that’s still too much.”

“Well it’s my final offer. Any complaining and it will go up. And Marc could escape but you can’t, because I have your bank details.”

“What?!”

“Internet banking. And more people are looking at me now, they heard that…”

“I’m not surprised! Where are you?”

“4 streets down the hill from school, in that square that used to have crazy golf next to it.”

“Ohhh. Well yeah, I can imagine people think you’re insane, then. Right I’m coming down…”

“That sounds like a threat…”

“Yep.”

Dani put the phone down and rolled his eyes, locking the door before zipping up, helmet on, gloves on and getting on his bike, almost now stranger to be riding without Marc, who was now back at home and apparently getting his ass kicked on Fifa online, and then set off to find him.

*

“Hello… OH MY GOD, INTRUDER!” Alex grinned as he rounded the door frame and saw Marc actually at home. “WHO ARE YOU?!”

“Noooo don’t be mean.” The older brother sniffed and pouted. “I’m in pain.”

“Awww.” Alex ruffled his hair too-roughly on his way past to the fridge, getting a glare in response that he ignored, and then getting himself a beer and looking back at his brother. “Beer?”

“Yeah, thanks. You’ve not died of hunger or thirst then?”

“No! I’m good at looking after myself, thank you.” Alex threw it, aim perfect although it wasn’t very far, and it landed next to Marc with a soft thud. He hadn’t been expecting it though, and had tensed up and tried to move out of what he thought was the way, groaning and swearing at the pain. “That’s not my fault, I threw it fine!”

“Yeah you threw me a heavy beer that I thought was going to hit me in the ribs and now it’s fizzy as well. Not your fault.”

“Pffff. Shut up and open it. Are you alright, though? Not too bad?”

“Hmm.” The older of the two glowered and grimaced again as he opened the can, amazed at the lack of explosion and taking a couple of sips before carrying on. “Not too bad. You want to talk to me?”

“I do. And also see you!”

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s just exciting-“

“I know, it’s ok. I’m not guilt-tripping you, honestly. But…it is kind of on topic though…”

“Right…”

“Well…this is a bit weird because I’m not really anything to do with you and Dani, but you’re basically living there-”

“Yeah, I guess. But like-“

“No, no…I’m not complaining. Promise. Hear me out…”

“Ok, sorry. Carry on.”

“You’re basically living there, which makes sense. It doesn’t make sense for you guys to be here because I’m here and I do not want to hear that, but…it doesn’t really make sense for me to be here either…”

“Ok I agree with the first part, but…why doesn’t it make any sense for you to be here?”

“Because I got a lot of phone calls and emails today, after the race yesterday. Obviously one important one was Jorge, but Emilio called too. He said he didn’t call you because you were hurt, by the way, and thought you’d be recovering, and said get well soon etc…but he called me…and he says I can race at Motorland and Cheste with a wildcard. And…in the CEV. For the rest of the season. I didn’t agree anything properly without you, but I want to do it. And…then I spoke to Jorge and Emilio again and they agreed a sort of compromise…and that would be enough for me to move…”

“You’re going to move?!”

“Well we have to give 4 weeks notice on the rent, right?”

“Yeah…”

“So, my plan was maybe stay up here for 2 or 3 weeks, then…go down there. More than in time for Motorland as well…and yeah. And it doesn’t make much sense for you to pay to have an empty house…”

“Are you telling me to move in with my boyfriend?!”

“I’m telling you that I’m moving out and I’m not paying any more rent after 4 weeks, and that you shouldn’t either. And also telling you that I love you and please don’t be mad?”

Chapter Text

Jorge was where he’d said he was, and the sight was fairly conspicuous. It wasn’t a 3000 Euro for a suit kind of town, and Jorge wasn’t a fade-into-the-background kind of guy. The sun was as hot as it had been the day before, Dani aware that pulling off his helmet sent his hair everywhere and left his face flushed with a sheen of sweat, and then realised he didn’t care anymore. He’d never cared with Jorge – the situations he’d seen him in were more than enough for a lifetime of not caring what he did or looked like in front of him, but he realised that mainly, it was because of Marc. Marc loved him how he was, and anybody else who might have done and been put off paled in comparison and didn’t matter.

“Found you. And you definitely look dodgy.” Dani put his helmet down on the table and smiled at his friend. “I thought the mafia preferred Marbella?”

“Don’t make it worse. Why are you here?”

“To talk some sense into you.”

“Too late…far too late. I think I agreed to set up a new one-bike Moto3 team in the CEV, affiliated to something called Monlau, this morning.”

What?! “Right…Alex?”

“Alex. Wildcards in Aragón and Cheste, CEV for the rest of the season.”

“Wow! That’s…exciting?”

“It is. I wasn’t going to go pro for a while, but…World Championship!”

“So you’re doing it then?”

“Yeah. Done already pretty much. I like days like today. When you go from idea to plan to accomplishment in 2 hours.”

“I miss days like those.” Dani shrugged at the disapproving look he got and then stole a cigarette from the table, ignoring it. “But that’s good!”

“It is.” Jorge took another drag on the cigarette then took a sip of beer, watch flashing out from his sleeve and adding to the image. “So…when’s Marc moving in?”

The older of the two coughed involuntarily and sat up straighter in his chair, colour draining from his face and heart pounding. “What?!”

“Where did I lose you?”

“At the point where Marc was moving in. Did he say something? Am I being blind? I mean, what-”

“No, no. Calm down. But Alex is moving…”

“Oh. Really? Wow…”

“Yeah?! After everything’s been agreed with this Emilio guy…who I think is Emilio Alzamora? Although I forgot to ask…seems like Bambi is going to move. Towards Barcelona…”

“Wow. Ok.” Bambi?! The train of conversation had distracted the older rider into forgetting how it started. “That’s great, Marc will be so happy! And it’s good for the money situation as well…especially since he’s completely destroyed his bike…”

“It is, it works out for everyone. And about that…I did something else that I hope no one is going to be mad about…”

Oh, God. “Right…?”

“It seemed like a really nice thing to do, but then I’m worried I might have stepped on a few toes…”

“Come on.”

“Right, well Marc’s bike got taken to that garage after the crash, yeah? So I asked Alzamora whether that was a good place, and he said it was, said he’d had a few guys from there end up working with him, they’re that good…so, I called them…and I got it fixed. I mean…it will be fixed by 6 tonight, and delivered…”

“What?!”

Jorge’s face was a curious combination of smug and ‘eek’. “Good idea or bad idea?”

Dani felt himself floundering around for a few seconds before his brain could think it through. “I honestly don’t know. I think good…but…I think you should be careful. Marc has made every single thing he’s achieved, and a lot of what Alex has achieved, happen for himself. Money, work, rent, training, deals…everything. And I know that’s important to him.” Which is why I haven’t told him why he got a pay rise, or where that bonus came from…

“That’s what I thought. But if I try and make that obvious…?”

“You should be ok. Or be his hero. Probably the latter, if it’s a one time gesture.” Dani smiled at the genuine, warm smile on his friend’s face and nodded. “You’re a weird mixture, Lorenzo.”

“What?”

“You have a huge pile of money, you have a great apartment…you’re a really good guy. But then sometimes you act like a complete dick. But…you’re also sat here right now in this little town that you’re supposed to have escaped, talking to me, setting up Moto3 teams basically because you have a good feeling about someone.”

“I’m not sure how to respond to that…but I’m glad you like my place. There’s still a room there for you…to get yourself set up…”

Dani felt that familiar, sinking fear grab him again and shook his head, almost involuntarily. “I appreciate it…but I think…plans have changed…” And I like how you specify ‘to get yourself set up’ and not ‘move in with me’.

“Have they?”

“I thought so…but then, with the Alex thing, I don’t know…”

“I understand. So, like I said before…when’s Marc moving in?”

Stop it. “I thought we’d move down together…”

“Right, but Alex is going in a few weeks. And Marc is never at home, is he? So…”

“So it makes no sense for him to keep paying rent...”

“Exactly…”

I don’t know how I feel about that. “Ok…well…I’d better go to work…”

And evade where you know this is going… “And find out how long your notice is.”

“What?!”

“Look…I spent a while with Marc yesterday, because you didn’t want to go public…which really hurt him, I don’t know if you’ve talked about it…and he’s not going to let anything get in his way.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you’ve been on the verge of moving for too long. I know life has been hard, but he’s not like that. When the opportunity comes, he’s going to take it. Whether you’re going with him or not.”

“I don’t understand how we ended up in this convers-“

“I don’t understand how you ended up here. Ok? He’s going to do it. Alex will probably, but Marc is going to do it. He’s one of those people who you believe when they say it. Not because he’s persuasive, but because you know he can. And in Moto2…what’s going to happen then? It’s a long season, and it goes from Qatar to the Americas through Europe and then to Asia. It’s not about who compromises or whose fear gets in the way, it’s about yes or no. You invest, or you don’t.”

“I’m going to be late for work.”

“Maybe. Although it doesn’t really matter, does it? You just tell yourself it does.”

“Right, ok. Ok…I’ll talk to you later…”

“Will you?”

“Stop it.”

“I’m not doing anything.” He watched Dani get to his feet and shrugged. “That room? You’re both welcome. And I’m going to tell Marc that, too.”

“Sometimes you’re a complete-“

“Voice of reason? I agree. Bye.”

*

Alex was in the shower, or more accurately, Alex was out in the shower, so when the knock at the door came, Marc had to answer it. It took him two more knocks and a good 25-30 seconds to make it, ending up stood in the doorway stooped over, groaning, and staring at whoever had made him do it. “Hello..?”

You’re the right guy. I now understand why this was such a big job. “Marquez. Marc Marquez?”

“Yeah…?”

“I’m here with your bike.”

What?! “Er…what?”

“Your bike. Number 93, Honda…”

“Yeah, that’s mine. Why? I mean, it was taken to-“

“It was brought to us yesterday, yeah. It’s fixed, now. Although God knows what you did to it..”

“Highside. Which is why it took me so long to answer the door. And what?! It’s fixed?” He could feel the money draining from his bank account, feel the panic rising. “I didn’t-“

I can see that. “It’s all been paid for and organised by a company called Hawkers, one of your sponsors?”

Oh my God. He felt the horror start to dissipate and the Euros climb their way back into his account. “Really?!”

“Yeah, the guy said it was a surprise, but given the state of the bike and the fact that he paid up front, we called around a bit and Alzamora said it was fine.”

“Oh my God. Are you joking?!”

“No.” He stepped aside and the bike became visible on the side stand, some new Hawkers stickers added to the bottom of the livery. Cheeky. “All fixed, I just need you to sign to say we brought it.”

Marc mutely took the paper and signed it, head reeling, and similarly watched the guy walk away and get on the back of another bike down the street, hoping he’d managed to be polite enough through the shock to say goodbye and thank you, and respond to his concern about the state of Marc, more than the bike. Oh my God.

He stood staring at it for a few minutes, sure he was about to wake up, suddenly able to stand a bit straighter and realising how much that had been weighing on his mind, before he walked down to it and crouched next to it, like Valentino Rossi on the grid. Alex came back in a few minutes later, following the trail of events out onto the driveway, and stopped just short of his brother when he saw him.

Is he crying?! He took a deep breath and a few more steps, realising that ‘being alone’ probably wasn’t high on Marc’s list of priorities given that he was in plain view on the street. “Marc…?”

The older brother sniffed slightly when he realised Alex was there, creaking back up to his feet, and nodded. “Hey.”

“Are you ok?”

“Y-yeah. Just…I can’t believe it.”

“The bike’s fixed?”

“Yeah. Jorge did it. Jorge called the garage and had it fixed, and delivered back up here…for free.”

Wow. “Wow. That’s nice.” But I’m not sure why you’re crying. “Isn’t it?!”

Marc nodded and took a few steps back to wrap his brother in a half hug, both facing the bike, voice still shaky but tears now obviously having been happy ones. “It is. And you’re moving. And…I don’t know how to explain it. I just…” I probably shouldn’t explain it. “I thought I was going to have to stay here for another 3 months, at least...to pay for that…I mean…and…”

And you’ll hopefully never know what it feels like to have been juggling things like this for years.

“I feel like the world paid me back.”

And you’re free.

Chapter Text

Dani spent all of his shift glaring at the clock, feeling trapped and irritable and realising how much different it was without Marc there. The younger rider texted him about what Jorge had done about half way through his shift, and by the sound of it, it was hero rather than zero. But he couldn’t get the conversation with Jorge out of his head, which he was perfectly aware had been the Mallorcan’s intent.

One thing I definitely don’t have any say in, though, is the fact that Alex is moving.

That had sunk in pretty quickly, and the common sense consequences of that were that Marc moved in with him. And that had suddenly hit him with how serious it was, which he probably could have dealt with, even if it was a bit earlier than he’d imagined, but he could already feel the nerves about the temporary nature of it. Marc wasn’t going to wait. What if Marc got that Moto2 ride the next year? Jorge was right, it wasn’t ‘Jerez is a long way away’, it was suddenly ‘we start in Qatar, next week Texas…’. Where would Dani fit in to that? Where was he going? Where was Marc going? To the top? Or not? Did he want Dani with him? Honestly? Once he’d made it to a point where he could afford anything he wanted and everyone he wanted was throwing themselves at him? And what about the going public part of it? And what about me.

The shift seemed to go as slowly as any he’d ever sat through before, until finally he was looking down the barrel of the last ten minutes and his phone beeped.

Marc: Hey babe, you said you’d talk to me about tonight? xxx

Dani felt himself go slightly cold and hung his head. Oh my God. I forgot him. How the fuck did I forget him?!

Dani: Hi, sorry…I’ve been half asleep all shift. Just want to get some sleep if that’s ok. See you at work tomorrow? xx

*

“Ok…?” Alex frowned as he watched his brother’s face fall. Hellooooo… Cough. “Marc?”

“What?” He snapped his head around to look at him, phone dropping back onto his lap. “Did you say something?”

Yeah, I did. “Yeah…everything ok? You going to Dani’s?”

“No.” He pulled himself to his feet, face scrunched up in pain and teeth gritted, and started towards the stairs. “And he’s not coming here.”

It wasn’t angry; it wasn’t the aftermath of some argument, Alex could tell. It was more… Puzzled and disappointed? “Oh…ok…”

“I don’t know why either.”

*

Only when he was sat on his sofa, alone, did he really realise the extent of the difference. He’d forgotten to call him, he’d texted him back instead of calling, and he’d said no. For the first time.

I just want some time to think. That’s all.

His phone beeped an hour later, bringing him back from the half-dazed trance he’d been in, and he read the message and flopped back into the sofa. Just leave me alone.

Jorge: Marc liked it, I think! How did he seem? Was he happy?

The older rider sighed and then picked his phone up to reply.

Dani: I don’t know, because I’ve not seen him. But his text was excited.

Jorge: Not seen him? Right…

Dani: Stop it, I know.

Jorge: I guess he’s feeling better then, to be at home?

Dani felt that hit him like a cold tidal wave. I didn’t ask.

Dani: Yeah I think so.

Jorge: You think so…are you sat at home thinking about things on your own by any chance? Forgetting to live instead of just think about it?

He didn’t respond to that, instead sending a message to Marc.

Dani: Hey, I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I hope you’re feeling better and I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you. xxx

And he didn’t get a reply.

*

“Hey.” No reply. “HEY. MARC. WAKE UP.”

Alex watched him toss and turn a couple more times from the doorway before deciding enough was enough and climbing over the edge of the bed to poke him.

“MARC.”

The older brother suddenly snapped awake and stared up at Alex like he was a murderer, face flushed and eyes wide, hand almost going back as if in preparation to whack him.

“Argh! What are you doing?!”

“Waking you up!” He sat back down on the edge and sighed. “Sorry. You were being loud.”

Oh. Marc nodded, resigned to it, and closed his eyes, sighing. “Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s ok. I just…well you said, before…wake you up.”

“Yeah, wake me up. Thanks.”

“Sorry…”

“No, thanks.” He opened his eyes again and smiled at his brother, sat on the edge of the bed. “That’s not happened for weeks.”

“It hasn’t happened with Dani?”

He let that tick through his brain and sighed, hand back over his eyes. Exactly. “Never.”

“Oh. I guess he’s good for you, then.” Alex smiled, determined to ignore whatever worries were back in Marc’s conscious mind, and lay down on the other side of the bed. “Right, I’m sleeping here now. And if you do it again I’ll cold water you…”

Marc stretched his arms above his head and nodded, grinning through a yawn. “I suppose you’ll do.”

“Pffff. Anyone would be lucky to have me in their bed.”

“True. Just make sure…they know that.”

“She knows.”

“And that you-“

“I know, too.”

“Good.” The older of the two took a deep breath and then reached his arm around his brother, pressing a rough kiss to his head despite the complaints, then rubbing his fist on his head for good measure, laughing at the ‘ewwwww’. “I love you. You turned out pretty good.”

Alex felt himself blush but relaxed into the hug and squeezed him back before then exaggeratedly pushing him away and settling back down. “Love you too. And thank you. For everything.”

No, thank you.

*

Marc: Sorry I fell asleep before I read this. See you later. Xx

Dani: I think we need to talk.

Marc let those words sink in for a few minutes and tried to calm his breathing, panic complete and instantaneous. Don’t leave me please don’t leave me please God, please Dani.

Marc: Don’t like the sound of that! ;) Ok, see you soon. Love you xxx

He waited a few seconds, starting to think no response was coming, before finally feel himself relax slightly.

Dani: I love you too. Xx

*

“Ok. We have a break. Talk to me.” Please, please talk to me. “Please, Dani. I’m dying here.”

The smaller man sighed and nodded, hanging his head, following Marc round the corner and into the staff area. “I’m sorry...”

“You don’t have to be sorry, I just want to know what changed.” The younger rider grabbed one of Dani’s hands and pulled him in front of him, waiting for some sort of sign. “Please, please, please, Dani…”

Dani looked up into those perfect chocolate pools, honestly, for the first time properly in the shift and felt himself melt. “I’m sorry.”

“Just tell me what’s going on.”

I’m trying. “I will. When we get home. For now, just…it’s not you. I promise, it’s not you.”

“But what can I-“

“Just give me a hug. And maybe follow me down the road for a coffee and a cigarette.”

He held Marc’s eye contact and raised his eyebrows, breathing in the smell of his hair as he was wrapped in a hug, feeling the perfect way he fitted around him, the way he curved himself around him to create that, aware of every millimetre of him and making himself fit.

Making himself fit around me.

After a couple of minutes, he pulled away and squeezed his hand, disappearing briefly and coming back with two coffees, dragging them off to a safe distance up the road for a smoke. Dani leant on the barrier at the side of the layby and took a sip of coffee as Marc put on his leather jacket, turned up the collar and messed his hair up, pouting down at the older rider but completely serious, cigarette unlit between his lips and moving up and down as he spoke, American accented English and everything.

“I woke up this morning, you know... and the sun was shining, and it was nice, and all that type of stuff. And the first thing, I saw you, and, uh, I said, "Boy, this is gonna be one terrific day, so you better live it up, because tomorrow you'll be nothing.""

He smiled, wondering if Dani knew that reference, and then pulled his shirt up to show the scar, lighting the cigarette and releasing a puff of smoke above his head.

“You see? And I almost was.”

He waited a few seconds, wondering if the spark back in his boyfriend’s eyes was from recognition of the quote or something else, before grinning and looking down at the floor as soon as Dani started to speak, everything seeming fixable from the silence that had reigned the morning .

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I treated you mean today. You shouldn't believe what I say when I'm with the rest of the kids. Nobody, nobody acts sincere."

Marc bent down and hovered in front of Dani’s face for a few seconds, staring into his eyes, more fascinated now than ever with everything in them, and then pressed a kiss gently on his lips before going back to Spanish and his own words.

“I’m sincere. I love you. And whatever has made you freak out, I don’t like it. I talked to Jorge. He said something about moving in?”

“Yeah.” Dani wrapped his arms around himself, without jacket and the weather unseasonably cold, and shrugged, looking down and taking a deep breath. “The idea of you being there all the time is heaven. I’m just nervous about what that means, for the fut-“

“It means nothing for the future. It means I get to spend more time with you right now, and it means I pay less rent.” Marc bent down in front of him and looked up at him. “That’s all it means. I know the future is looking a bit crazy. But…” He stood up, put the cigarette back in his mouth to free his hands, and shrugged himself out of his jacket, tight white t shirt adding to the whole vibe. “I kind of mean it, that quote. I don’t want to waste time. There’s things we need to talk about…” He draped the leather around Dani’s shoulders and flicked the cigarette away from them, noticing his boyfriend relax and sit up. “But today, there’s no problem, is there?”

“No. And I want you to move in, I really do. But that’s what it is...right? You moving in right now. Take it in steps. Ok?”

Marc felt himself almost collapse on the road in relief. “If you don’t want it, it’s fine. I just don’t want you to-“

Dani shot to his feet and wrapped him in a hug. “I want you all the time. I just...”

"I know, we have a lot to talk about. But..." He slipped back into American and turned his head to kiss Dani on the cheek as he hung onto him. "I love somebody. All the time I've been... I've been looking for someone to love me. And now I love somebody."

But it's not so easy. He left it a few seconds to let that actually sink in, before finally having to say it. "You know that line was the girl, right?"

Marc pulled away and winked at him, jokes mean we're ok.

"Who says I'm not the girl?"

Chapter Text

“Please sit down…”

“I’m fine.”

“Seriously, you’re putting me through the pain just watching. Just sit down. Pleeassee?”

Marc huffed slightly, but obviously touched underneath, and nodded as he sat back down. “I feel bad not helping, and it’s not too bad now. It’s been days…and I didn’t hear many complaints last night?”

“Well I feel bad with you helping, and you at least feel physically better not helping. So please…” The older rider gave him the eternally irresistible puppy dog eyes and then smiled.

“Ok, ok!” Marc held up his hands and grinned, relaxing back into the sofa. “I like a good housewife, anyway.”

Dani rolled his eyes and opened the oven to check on the food. “Yeah, yeah. I’m not offended. Or worried.”

“Pff. Fine.” The younger crossed his arms and yawned before Dani flopped down next to him and grabbed his face in the still warm oven mitts. “Arrgh! Off!” He swatted him away, laughing and wincing, and then grabbed them off his hands and threw them across the room; one landing on the other side, one unfortunately heading straight through the open window and down into the neighbour’s garden, one of a myriad of items over the past few weeks. “Fuck! Sorry. Oops.”

“Heard that before.”

“You will hear it again when I live here full time, believe me.”

“I have no trouble believing you.” Dani gave him a sideways look and then sighed contentedly as Marc’s head landed on his chest, wrapping his arm around him. “I think the only thing that would actually annoy me would be if you dropped a helmet. That would not earn you a hug.”

“Nah I’m not clumsy with things like that, don’t worry. I think it’s because we never had a lot of money growing up, so if you dropped it…you were in deep shit.” He grinned up at his boyfriend and shrugged. “Pretty much the same here?”

“Exactly.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, Marc’s hand splayed on Dani’s chest as though he was trying to hear his heart, finger gently moving from side to side, before he sat up slightly and looked at him. “I’m going to ask one more time.”

“I’m sure.”

“I’ve not asked yet!”

“Ok, ok. If you have to ask…”

“I do. Do you want me to move in with you?”

Dani stared back at him, the slightly cocky pose betrayed by the nerves in his eyes and fidgeting fingers, and nodded. “I want you to move in with me. Really. If that’s the whole question…that’s the whole answer.”

He took a breath and nodded. “Ok. Now…what time is it?”

“Don’t know. Get my phone?” The older rider pushed his hips up off the sofa and wiggled his eyebrows. “Left pocket. Your left.”

Marc grinned at him, leaning in closer for a kiss to show his appreciation for the gesture before pulling away slightly to speak again. “You know that’s why I want to know…” He pulled the phone out, elegant fingers brushing Dani’s stomach and sending a zing through both of them, before he tapped the screen to wake it up, pleasantly surprised. “And we have almost an hour before they get here…”

*

Dinner with Alex and Alicia was the occasion, because Alex was moving in 2 weeks. So that day, they had dinner together at Dani’s house, and the day after they did it again at Marc’s, saying they'd do it again the week after. Marc was due to move in the day after his brother left, nothing talked about or decided beyond that, and they got that classic feeling of not understanding why they hadn’t had dinner before, having had the chance.

Alicia was sad that Alex was leaving, but ultimately they had it figured out. He’d be there on his own for a little while, but then she was going to start studying in Barcelona so, all in all, it worked out perfectly for them.

Everything was a bit quicker than they’d imagined because the landlord had said 18 days would do, Marc having been able to negotiate since he’d forgotten, in his self-reliant haze, that it wasn’t his responsibility to fix the shower at all, it was the landlord’s. So, they did the deal and everything was set.

The one last thing that had left Marc sat on the terrace for 15 minutes on his own, staring at the stars on a clear night, was his parents. Alex moving was a big thing, to be without Marc and in the city, although he was as old as he would have been if he’d been going to study, and they didn’t like it much. They’d stopped trying to control them a long time ago, but Marc could feel the vibes and had ended up personally guaranteeing that he’d be ok, and that it was a good idea. And then his mother had said something that he really should have been expecting.

“Can we come and visit before he goes?”

He realised instantly that he’d not mentioned Dani to them once. They didn’t know he was bisexual, they didn’t know he was in a relationship, nor that it was with a man, a man older than him, a motorbike racer no less, and that Marc wasn’t going to carry on living in the same place at all, he was moving in with someone who, for all intents and purposes as far as his parents were concerned, was a stranger.

He replied the only way he knew how, which was positively. “Of course, it would be great to see you. And you can meet Alex’s girlfriend.” They knew about, and were happy about, Alicia. “When do you want to come?”

“How about this Sunday?”

Marc groaned internally and sighed silently. “That’s our only day off this week…would Wednesday work?”

“Yes that’s fine. Our day off? I thought Alex had finished working?”

Shiiiiiit. Marc took a deep breath and nodded to himself. Just do it. “Well, there’s someone I want you to meet, too. A colleague of mine who’s become…important to me. That’s what I meant.”

“Oh.” Roser sounded pleasantly surprised. “We’d love to. Does this colleague have a name?”

The best in the world. “Dani.”

“Oh. Well we’d love to meet her. We’ll see you on Wednesday, honey. Bye.”

Marc bit his lip and laughed nervously to himself. He has a penis. “Bye…” He sat out there for a few more minutes trying to figure out how he was going to explain Dani to his parents before deciding enough was enough and that he should probably share the good news.

Well…I hope he’s ok with this. He went back inside and took a deep breath, stopping as he caught sight of Dani and felt his heart do a little dance. The older rider was sat on the sofa under a blanket, bowl of popcorn in his lap, head nodding slightly as he fought to stay awake. Because…just look at him. “Hey…I spoke to my parents…”

“Huh?!” Dani’s head snapped up and some of the popcorn cascaded out of the bowl and onto the floor. “What?!”

Marc grinned at him and crossed the space between them, picking up the popcorn and depositing it in a pile on top of the coffee table before kneeling on the floor at his feet. He then sank his face into the bowl, whole, mouth open and popping back up full of popcorn. He grinned through it, cheeks like a hamster, and felt that same little heart-jig as Dani’s eyes crinkled in a laugh and he shook his head in fake-disapproval.

“Sorry. I was almost asleep. What did you say?”

He didn’t catch on to the risk of having asked a direct question until the split second before it happened, Marc’s eyes glinting with mischief and then blowing half of it out his mouth and straight at his face.

“Ewwwwwwwwwwww MARC!!!”

Mouth now largely empty, he smiled innocently and shrugged once he’d stopped laughing. “What?”

“You’re fucking disgusting.” But he was still grinning.

“So you’ll trace your tongue around my asshole, but popcorn out my mouth is too far..?”

Dani went bright red and covered his face with his hands. “Oh God…the things you say…out loud…”

“I know, sorry.” He smiled at the blushing man in front of him and then plonked himself down next to him, grabbing the DVD remote and half the blanket, snuggling against him and relaxing as they made all those little adjustments so they were both blissfully comfy. “But I was going to say…I spoke to my parents…and they want to come and have dinner on Wednesday; visit before Alex leaves.” Deep breath. “And they want to meet you…”

Dani’s eyes widened slightly in surprise as he turned to him before putting more popcorn in his mouth and lazily chewing, not in the least bothered. “Ok.”

Wooooowwwwww. Marc let out a little whoosh of air he hadn’t been aware he’d been holding, and nodded softly. “Ok. Great.”

“You thought I wouldn’t like that?”

“Yeah…I guess…and…I didn’t ask before I said yes…”

“Well I think it would be interesting to see who created this monster. So…Wednesday?”

“Wednesday.” Deep breath. “And, er…one last thing…” He cringed under the scrutiny of Dani’s knowing sideways glance and prepared to blurt, pulling the blanket up over the bottom half of his face and not having to win any Oscars to make himself look scared. “They think you’re a girl...”

Of course they do. The older rider hung his head for a few seconds, eyes closed, and then grabbed a handful of popcorn and messed it in Marc’s hair. “Oh, fantastic.”

“Could be fun…?” And that's not bothered you either. Cringing, the younger rider took the fake glare he got in return and then planned his retaliation, slipping a handful of popcorn under the blanket onto Dani’s crotch, diving under to follow, head first. “But first, undo your jeans." He popped up again to stare at him and then licked his lips wickedly slowly, watching Dani's twitch in response. "I’m hungry.”

Chapter Text

The day had finally arrived: Wednesday. Marc was fine again, and Alex was getting more and more excited about moving, and they spent the few hours after Marc finished his shift tidying their house, Alex having intended to do most of it whilst Marc was at work but having been dragged into a battle royale on COD 5, the Marquez 'never give up' attitude always present in both of them, whether on track or at war. Never horrendously messy as a course of habit, racing and Dani and Alicia had somewhat dented their housetrained reputation and it took a while to get it ready for parents. Because parents visiting were always different to friends, or even girlfriends, or Danis. Definitely different to Danis.

It looked pretty good by the time they’d finished, and Marc left Alex outside in the shower, moaning happily to himself at the chance to cool off under the burning sun, and made his way up to Dani’s to pick up the stuff for the meal. Marc honestly wanted to say that him and Alex were capable of creating the gourmet creations he wanted to have been presenting his parents with, but the truth of the matter was that they weren’t, and so it had been more the product of a cookery class, Pedrosa teaching the rookie some tricks of the trade. So it was in Dani’s fridge, marinating, and Marc realised as he pulled it out that he was going to have to walk back down the hill to his house carrying it like a French cartoon chef. So much for my James Dean image. The other things he was there to collect were, in no particular order: wine, place mats, nice plates, matching cutlery, and napkins. That all went carefully into his bag and onto his back before stood in front of the dish and tested it out for weight. Fucking heavy.

He shrugged to himself, about to heave it up and out the house, before he noticed a note on the side.

Don’t forget the lemon pepper. Love you xxx

He grinned and laughed slightly as he dismounted the rucksack and found the aforementioned condiment, marvelling at how this was his life. Me. Motorbike racer. Casual weekend fuck. Me. I have a serious boyfriend and we own lemon pepper. More to the point, we use lemon pepper. It was incredible, but in a good way. He’d always imagined that caring about types of pepper was a sure sign that your life had taken a wrong turn somewhere between ‘teenager’ and ‘mid-life crisis’, but he was starting to realise that, if you got it right, domesticity could be bliss. And I got it right. AND I remembered the pepper.

He struggled out the door, a difficult tango between making sure he had everything, swinging the door open and then rushing through it, checking it was automatically locked as it should have been. Satisfied, he set off down the stairs and back out into the heat of the sun, nodding hello at the neighbours, one in particular.

“Marc, is it?”

Dammit, woman. You choose today to stop me for a chat. He beamed back at her and nodded. “Yes. Hi!”

“Nice to see you, finally…properly!” Mrs Suarez, Marc thought Dani had said her name was, beamed at him in return, in that mixture that only women between the ages of 60 and 80 can manage, as if saying what a nice boy, but also…if I was 40 years younger… “Sorry to stop you, dear. Is that heavy?”

YES IT IS FUCKING HEAVY. “Not too bad. What’s wrong?” I'm going to get arm pump. From chicken.

“Nothing wrong, dear.” She motioned to her wall and Marc took the hint to put the dish down, sensing she had a reason. “I just have a few things of yours that I think fell out the window.”

Marc went red immediately and any thought of blaming it on Dani disappeared in the cringe, trying to gauge the mood and giving himself away as the perpetrator. “Ah…yeah…sorry about that…” She doesn’t look mad…

“No, don’t worry! No problem, I just thought you could have them back. We’ve all done that, you know! I once dropped my cat straight into my neighbour’s apartment in Sabadell.”

I love her. Marc laughed at that and smiled, feeling warmth go through him as the corners of her eyes crinkled, laughing along with him. “Oh! Ha. Ok. What is there?” I don’t think now is the best time, but bless you.

“Well there’s an oven mitt and tea towel, that was recently.” She produced them and put them next to the dish. “There was another bottle of beer last week, but I’m afraid I drank that!” She laughed giddily as though saying what am I like! and then carried on. “There’s this ball.” That went on the wall. “I’m sorry my dog had too much fun with it and it’s a little soggy….and then this.” She produced a chef’s hat and beamed at him. “I think that’s everything!”

“Ok.” And you expect me to carry this away in my third hand? “You can keep the ball if you want!”

“Aw, thanks dear.” She smiled at him and held up the oven glove. “Shall I put these is your bag?”

Marc nodded and turned, letting her unzip it and pop it in. Ok, yeah. That will work. “Thanks.”

“And the hat?”

The younger rider smiled and then grabbed the dish, ducking his head down towards her. “I was just thinking ‘I look like a chef with this’, so I think I’ll wear that.”

She popped it over his hair and giggled, eyes shining. “It suits you, dear. Are you doing anything nice?”

“We’re going to have a dinner party at my house, my family are visiting.”

“Oh lovely! Well I hope you have a good time, chef.”

That depends, but thank you very much. “Thank you. And thank you for being so nice about my clumsiness!”

“No problem, dear. Say hello to your lovely boyfriend from me.”

Marc blushed at that and nodded, starting to walk away. “Thanks again, and I will!” He turned back around to concentrate on where he was going and felt a wide smile spread across his face. Don’t judge that people will judge, before you know. He turned the first corner on the journey and settled in to the effort, catching glances of his ridiculous silhouette as he passed windows. I hope that’s true tonight.

*

Marc: I’M FREAKING OUT

Dani: DON’T FREAK OUT.

Marc: I AM FREAKING OUT, DANI. ARGRGHH

Dani: DON’T FREAK OUT, MARC.

Marc: DON’T MOCK ME, I’M STRESSED

Dani: DON’T FREAK OUT, I MEANT IT. You are AMAZING and everything will be FINE! Xxxx

Marc: *blushing* That proves you’re more amazing…but thank you for replying and dealing with me. Xxx

Dani: All the time or just this time? ;) Jajaja :D Love you, just stay calm and don’t procrastinate on the Xbox, it makes you angry… ;)

Marc: I was tempted but good idea ;) love you too. Are you nearly setting off?

He waited a few moments for the reply, pouting slightly as it wasn’t instant this time, before hearing the door go and feeling his stomach flip. OH GOD NO PLEASE DON’T BE EARLY. PLEASE DON’T BEAT HIM HERE. He practically ran past Alex in the living room, who was procrastinating on the Xbox, and took a deep breath just inside the front door. 3, 2, 1… He gritted his teeth and pulled it open before immediately relaxing, grin four miles wide. Thank God. “YOU!”

“I could hear the gunfire and came as quickly as I could…”

Marc laughed and pulled him into a kiss. “That’s Alex, promise. Did you leave early?”

“I did. And to answer the question: no I’m not nearly setting off.”

Marc had to cough to cover the accidental growl in his voice, eyes taking in the sight of him. "You look amazing."

"Thanks. You too. I changed at work and Alberto said the same thing...it was a bit weird..." The older of the two accepted a kiss after a giggle and followed his boyfriend inside, shutting the door behind them. "Just need to deal with helmet hair."

"First you need to calm me down." Marc turned back to him, face all :/. "I have no idea what they're going to say..."

You're so cute when you're nervous. "They have no idea?"

"No idea."

"I wasn't supposed to have any idea either though..." Alex paused and grinned, looking up at them from the sofa. "But it was written all over you."

"But you're you." Marc whacked him lightly on the shoulder and smiled at him. "And you need to concentrate on taking back the Reichstag."

"Sorry, you're absolutely right..." The younger brother nodded and put his race face back on, slightly cracking the seriousness as his brother saw it and laughed. "Brace yourselves, there's no turning back..."

Marc turned and locked eyes with Dani, eyes dancing in nervous terror and glee, eyebrows raised slightly. Exactly. "What he said..."

"Well I th-"

"And hello, Dani. Nice to see you, too." Alex laughed at the flustered response he created and then grinned back at him. "Sorry, couldn't resist."

Never one to miss an opportunity, Marc leaned in and kissed the embarrassment off his boyfriend's face, feeling the nerves start to disentangle themselves as he was reminded what was at stake. Exactly. "What he said..."

Chapter Text

1109pm

“I honestly didn’t expect that. That that would be the worst part…weird.”

Finally alone in Marc and Alex’s garden, both poured into one sun lounger, Dani moved slightly under him to adjust their position and let Marc mold against him better. He kissed the top of his head and smiled, throat going slightly dry as it always did in moments like this, as Marc turned his head into the older rider’s chest and kissed it, right on his heart. “Sometimes it’s best not to expect anything and just go for it…”

Marc felt the ironic, badly timed response form in his head exactly, so let’s move to the city and forget this town, before he nodded and let out another long breath, pressure now off, just him and the other half of him under the stars, safe. “I guess that’s true.”

“And it’s because it makes it permanent for them. That’s the problem”

That word again.

*

730pm

“Ok, so….everything is ready. Everything is actually ready.” Marc did another whirl in the kitchen, stressed out and trying to make sure he hadn’t missed anything, not missing the exchanging of glances between Alex and Alicia, nor the exasperatedly supportive sigh of his boyfriend. “Is everything ready?”

“Everything is ready. Go and get changed.”

“Ok.” Marc nodded, face dead concentrated, and whipped off the apron. “Ok, everything is ready. Changed. Right.” He looked up at Dani, who was already pointing to the stairs, and nodded again. “Come with me.”

No question, so I guess no choice. Not that I want one. He smiled at him and followed him up the stairs, Alex and Alicia exchanging another glance as Marc refused to let go of his boyfriend’s hand all the way to the bedroom. “What are you going to wear? I mean…you don’t need to impress, do you? You won’t be under scrutiny…”

“That’s true.” He took a deep breath and opened his wardrobe, wincing slightly and looking up at Dani’s amused expression as a lot fell out, tidying evidently a subjective concept. “Ignore that, I’ll push it back in later.”

The older rider chuckled to himself and nodded, watched Marc grab what he wanted, and then sat himself down on the his bed, leaning back against the wall and waiting for the inevitable, which came.

“Ok…so…this one or this one? With these jeans.” Marc held up two shirts followed by one pair of jeans.

Everything. You look perfect in everything. “You know you look amazing in everything. Or nothing…”

The younger rider smiled at him, first crackle of cheek evident on his face, and then sighed. “Ok, thank you….but….I need a decision. Which do you prefer?”

“I don’t mind, it’s up to you!”

“No, it’s not.” He pulled off the t shirt he was wearing, which had been hit by some sauce at some point in the kitchen, and opened the other wardrobe door, this time no avalanche, whacking it in there. He then stood there shirtless and ran a hand through his hair, Dani biting his lip to stop himself crushing him against the wall, and sighed. “It’s not…ok, don’t laugh at me…”

“I won’t laugh at you. Unless you say something funny.”

Marc fake glared at him and shook his head. “It’s not funny…it’s just…how do I explain this…” He undid the button on his jeans and pulled them off, not really paying attention to the little noise Dani made in response, and sighed again. “I don’t care what I look like for them…like you say, they will have seen worse, even if I wear a bin bag. But…I want to look good for you. Bec-“

“You always look good to me.”

The younger rider felt his heart jump slightly and gulped, nodding and smiling. “Thank you. But I…ok…everyone has that one outfit that they can’t resist, right? Everyone has that ‘I would make him wear that every day’…”

“Maybe…” He smiled and shrugged. “Do you? What’s mine?”

“I have one, yeah.” He grinned and nodded at him. “You’re wearing it.”

Dani looked down at himself and then locked eyes with him again. “Oh. Well I’m glad Jorge told me to wear this shirt ages ago, then. To the bar…”

“Ah! The secret’s revealed!” Marc grinned and shrugged, not bothered by why. “Can’t say I’m surprised. That guy likes his vanity.”

“He does.” Dani nodded and laughed slightly. “He really does.”

“So…you’re wearing mine, and I want to wear yours. Because I want you to…I don’t know…this sounds stupid, but…” He took a breath and then nodded. “I want you to look at me like…I mean, the way you look at me does things to me. On the inside…and the outside…” He laughed slightly and smiled at the cute little expression on Dani’s face. “But I want you to be out of control of yourself. How I feel when I look at you tonight. I want you to be mine and not be able to help showing it. I want them to see what we have, because we can’t hide it. Does that make sense?”

A whole lot of sense. “Yeah.” Dani got off the bed and crossed the distance between them, turning Marc so he was facing the mirror on the wall and standing behind him, slightly to the right. “I know what you mean. But it doesn’t matter how nervous I get, I promise. I’ll look at you like that, I’ll do whatever you want. We do this however you want. They’re your parents. And…” He wrapped his arms around him and traced the scar with his index finger. “Nothing will make a difference.”

“I fucking love you, Dani.” The words were a lot harsher than normal, interrupting a few seconds of silence, Marc now more fired up than intimate, finally ready to face the evening. He turned round to him and placed a chaste but emphatic kiss against his cheek. “I mean it. I know you normally say that stuff in bed or too much all the time…but I fucking love you.”

“I love you too.” The older rider pulled away and picked up the first shirt. “And this is my wow outfit for Marc Marquez.”

Of course it is. “So I was right first time…”

Dani held it up for him as he slipped his arms into the sleeves. “Yup.”

*

741pm

“Ok, they’re here.” Marc had nominated himself to get the door, obviously, and walked towards it nervously. “Everybody ready?”

“Dani is fine, open the door.” Alex rolled his eyes and smiled affectionately. “You’re the only one stressing, and it will be fine.”

“Hmmm.”

“Open the door.”

“Hmmm…”

“OPEN THE DOOR, MARC.”

He jumped slightly at his brother’s tone and then did just that. 3, 2, 1…

“Hi!”

He pulled open the door and grinned, accepted hugs and kisses from both, pulling them through the door, feeling less nervous but somehow more nervous at the same time, and smiled as he watched them greet Alex in much the same way, like we never grew up. It was a well-timed reminder of the fact that they may disagree with some of their choices, but they loved them to pieces. “You have a good drive?”

“Yeah it was fine, no problems. Something smells good!”

Marc smiled at his dad and nodded, suddenly aware again that he was wearing the chef’s hat. That explains that split second facial expression when I opened the door. “Yeah, hopefully! The hat really helped.”

“I can see that….” His mother grinned at him and then looked expectantly towards Alicia. “You must be Alicia, right?”

She nodded and they went through the greetings phase, warmth practically worth piping to homes around the country in winter, and Marc watched his brother intently. They weren’t like him and Dani; that was clear. But there was enough there that he could imagine it, at some point. Maybe other people just need a bit longer. The way Alex was looking at her and his parents, beaming, was a telling sign. I think they’ll get a bit longer, at least. His younger brother caught the end of the expression and smiled back at him, reading it like an open book and shrugging to himself. Yeah, I know.

“…all about, Marc?”

He snapped back to reality and looked back at Roser. “Hmm?”

“I said; where is this nice girl we’ve been hearing all about?”

“Ah. Not here, obviously.”

“She’s not coming?” They looked like they were about to cry.

“No, she’s not.” Marc took a deep breath and looked up as Dani walked back into the room, having chosen the moment to perfection, everything planned. “But this is my friend from work. His name is Daniel.” He bit his lip and waited for the flash of recognition on their faces, but nothing. Oh, straight middle aged people. Never the first to catch on. He watched Dani shake hands with them, normal as anything, and risked a glance at Alex, who was practically dying with the effort to hold in the giggles. “So…food should be ready at 8. Anybody want wine?”

They both nodded, as did Alex and Alicia, and Marc tried hard to make himself say ‘Dani’ and give the game away, but ended up too tempted by the ruse.

“Ok. Daniel, want to help me with that?”

He caught the split second expression of excitement, disapproval and what could only be described as a naughty naughty warning cross Dani’s face and tried to stay neutral as the other man nodded and followed him chastely into the kitchen, doors that were normally open to create open-plan now very much shut.

“What are you doing?!”

Marc grinned at him and wrapped him in one of the most intense kisses he’d ever felt, just about able to stay on their feet, pulling away breathless, chef hat on the floor, cheeks flushed, hair ruffled. “I don’t know, but I always wanted to do this.”

“We do this…” Dani lost his breath to the attacking lips again and took a few seconds to carry on, “…a lot.” When the younger rider finally let him go, both of them were slightly weak at the knees and stood forehead to forehead.

“We do. But not when they’re here. Not when it’s a secret. Not when…”

“We might get caught.”

“Exactly.” Marc pecked him on the lips again and grinned wickedly. “And you know my policy on gay-blindness…”

C1 and C2 at the bar? “Wait until we grind against each other? Don’t think that’s the best idea in this case…”

The younger rider grinned and shook his head. “I told them the other person coming here was a colleague. I told them their name was Dani. I just introduced a colleague called Daniel. If they can’t figure that out…”

“I see your point, but-“

“No but. Just look at me like you do. Treat me like you do when Alex is here. I mean, now…not at first when we were embarrassing whores. Let’s just see how long it takes…”

“Are you sure this isn’t the worst idea you’ve ever had?”

Marc looked at him in a complete be fucking serious. “Dani, I wanted to jet wash my penis.”

The older man giggled and shrugged, definitely having forgotten that. “True.” Still… “Right we need to get back. Wine!”

Marc produced the bottle from the fridge, white with chicken, which according to Dani was actually a thing and not just a ‘that colour is prettier’ kind of choice, and slowly pushed the neck of the bottle into his mouth, eyes locked on his boyfriend’s, watching them change from confusion to humour to complete lust, going in for one more kiss and then taking a deep breath, squeezing his hand.

“You’re cruel.”

“Maybe.” He grinned and washed it, well, and then opened it, Dani following him back into the living room with the glasses.

“Sorry, couldn’t find it. And checked the oven. Everything is looking hot.”

Alex looked at him as though he’d said something more along the lines of we just had sex in the kitchen and motioned at their parents, split between love and hatred for his sibling. Marc shook his head and smiled, not yet. That earnt him an eye roll and a knowing, indulgingly amused grin.

Fine. “Where did you look?”

“In every crack. It was buried pretty deep.” He looked at Alex and smiled. “In the fridge.”

“Ah, ok.” Alex looked at him, still hint of a smirk but amazingly controlled, much smoother than his older counterpart, and his eyes wandered over his brother’s ruffled hair. “Where’d the hat go, Marc?”

Oops. The older shrugged at him and sat down on the floor in front of Dani’s arm chair, leaning against his boyfriend’s legs, no room for all on the furniture and annoyed it raised no parental eyebrows. “It…fell off.”

“In the heat?”

Marc covered the blush by taking a sip of wine and giggled slightly into the glass. Alex 1 Me 0. “Yeah, in the heat.”

*

753pm

Dani was trying to obey the ‘like we are around Alex most of the time’ rule and doing ok with it. At home, they were very…connected, but around his brother, at their house, they were normally much more aware of not being that couple. No naked cookery tonight.

Neither Roser nor Julia batted an eye, despite the fact that Marc was sat against Dani in exactly the same way that Alex was sat leaning against Alicia. It was a couple scenario, the precedent set only 3 feet away and in the same room. Gay blindness. Hopefully not because they’re going to go insane, though. The conversation was easy and, being honest, Dani couldn’t imagine these people having a problem with it. But it was nerve-wracking, although admittedly quite fun. He watched Marc drink the last of his first glass of wine a few minutes before and then look disappointedly into his empty glass, Dani wordlessly offering him his own, the glass appearing in front of Marc’s face and his elegant fingers brushing against Dani’s as he took it. Normal. The younger rider took a sip and bumped slightly against Dani’s legs. “Thanks.”

The older rider squeezed him on the shoulder in response, no words needed, and looked up expecting to see two staring parental faces. But no, maybe a flicker of something on Julia’s face, but then Alicia was talking about something again and they were distracted. He felt Marc’s left hand, the one on the opposite side of his parents, move back and squeeze his leg. You tried…

*

804pm

“Ok, I’m going to go and serve the food.” Marc got to his feet and passed Dani his glass back. “You’d better check it’s done, as well.”

The older rider drank the last wine from the bottom and nodded, putting it down on the table next to him and accepting Marc’s hand to pull him up, both of them disappearing into the kitchen without another word, leaving Alex smirking into his drink again.

Surely you see it. Surely. He risked a glance at his parents and nothing.

*

806pm

“So, it’s definitely ready?”

“Definitely. Smells amazing.”

Marc smiled at him and nodded, eagerly. “Right, I’ll just fetch the Nutella and then we’ll eat…”

Dani rolled his eyes and squeezed his ass before he could complain, the younger rider letting out an excited little ‘eek!’ and clamping his hand over his mouth. “Think they heard that?”

The question was answered a split second later as Alex’s voice shouted through. “Are you ok in there? It’s not too hot?”

The two riders looked at each other, laughing, before Marc automatically accompanied his response with a shake of the head, despite the lack of sight line. “Just hot enough, thanks!”

“Is Daniel giving you a hand?”

Oh, Alex. They looked at each other again and bit their lips. “Yeah, thanks!”

“Good. Ready?”

In every way. “Yeah, come through!”

He pecked Dani on the cheek one more time before the doors opened and the other 4 joined them, leaving the doors open and taking their seats, Alicia on one end, Alex to her right, Julia to her left, Roser next to him. Marc motioned to Dani to sit on the end, too, and then carried the dish over from the oven, arms groaning as they immediately relived the feeling of having carried it all the way from Dani’s house.

“Here we go…and this had better be worth it, because I got arm pump from carrying this beast here.”

A light, unthinking laugh went round the table before Roser smirked at him. “So you didn’t make it after all?”

Marc smiled at her and nodded, briefly sticking out his tongue. “I did, actually. We made it.” He pointed between him and Dani. “But we made it at his house, so I had to carry it back here when he was at work.”

“Ok, ok!” She smiled and held her hands up. “I believe you, baby.”

Dani felt himself go slightly red at the weird reaction he felt to hearing someone else call Marc baby, his actual mother or not. And still nothing.

*

816pm

It was good food. It was very good, and Roser and Julia seemed to be in agreement. And they’d started taking a lot more interest in Dani, although there was nothing in their faces that seemed to have realised. He answered and engaged, genuinely enjoying their company and hoping the same was true in reverse, noticing the way Marc looked at him when he said certain things, talked about certain things that were shared memories, or shared anythings. Shared everythings, now. And they talked about racing, and although it was obvious that they weren’t thrilled with the idea, they certainly knew their stuff, and they certainly seemed to have accepted that their sons had made a choice.

“So, Daniel…do you like motorbikes?”

Dani looked at Marc without really realising it, before nodding and looking back at Julia. “Yeah, I do. I race, too. Same as Marc. I’m the one who won the race last time…”

“Ah! Of course.” The older man smiled at him and nodded, impressed. “Very impressive. And you gave Marc a lift back round to the pits, too.”

Another look at his boyfriend. “I did. After that crash and I’d recovered from the heart attack…”

“I’ve said sorry…I’ve said sorry to everyone…I was just winded!”

“I know.” Dani smiled at him and nodded. “So was I!”

“Pfff.” Marc bumped him with his shoulder and winced for effect. “I’m still bruised…”

“No you’re not.”

“A bit…”

“No.” Dani grinned at him and raised his eyebrows, knowing the other rider would immediately get the subtext. “They’ve all gone. Every last one.”

So you can give me a few more. “Pfff. What about emotional bruises?”

“Nope.”

“Fine.” Marc smiled down at his plate and then took another sip of wine, feeling himself go warm all over as he felt Dani’s hand gently pinch his leg under the table. “But yeah, Dani races too.”

He felt himself, and Alex and Alicia and Dani, all freeze as he said his name properly. Ooooops.

“That’s good then, that you’ve ended up working together too. The shifts must go quicker.” Julia was oblivious, but something on his wife’s face had changed. “Something to pass the time between customers…”

“Yeah, we keep each other amused.” Marc smiled, trying to breeze past it, and nodded. “Couldn’t have worked out better, really. I love it.”

I love ‘it’ too. Dani smiled at Alex as he caught the smirk, shrugging ever-so-slightly and nodding at him. “It certainly makes the store cupboard more fun. When there’s someone else to help me reach the top…”

Oh you didn’t. The reaction laugh to the perceived height joke went round the table. “Yeah.” Marc shot him a sideways glance full of filth and put the final forkful of food in his mouth. “I agree. Although it’s always harder with you…” He swallowed and smiled, full of innocence again. “SO much harder.”

Dani ran for cover in the bottom of his glass and went red, Alex deciding enough was enough on that and coughing, making himself busy by collecting the plates and giving his brother a long, hard, something important of a look. “Is there any dessert, Dani?”

“Yeah, there is.”

“Nice. What is it?”

“Crema catalana.”

“Even nicer, Dani. Is it in the fridge?”

The double name drop seemed to confirm something for Roser and Marc met her gaze nervously, hand on Dani’s leg under the table in reassurance, looking back at his brother. “Yeah. Top shelf. But we’ll get it.”

“I can-“

“Put the plates in the sink and we’ll get it.”

Alex heard the ulterior motive and nodded, smiling and feeling ‘the moment’ coming. “Ok.”

Here we go. Marc got to his feet, Dani doing the same instinctively, and made his way over to the fridge, opening the door and holding it as his boyfriend reached up to get the desserts, watching him navigate them out and then walk over to the table, setting them down gently. “Everybody want one?”

Everyone nodded, Alex now back in his seat, and Marc passed one to each person, placing Dani’s in front of him last and locking eyes with him after his boyfriend noticed the shaking hand and clamped his hand around Marc’s. “Don’t be nervous, I’m sure they’ll be great.”

We’re about to find out. The younger rider sat back in his seat and nodded at his boyfriend, scooping up a spoonful and lifting it towards him. “I guess we’ll see. You first.”

Does that mean make the first move? Dani tasted it and, honestly, nodded at how good it was, turning to Alex and about to communicate that. “That’s good-“

“Ok…ok.” Roser raised her hands and looked between them. “Your name is Dani.”

Dani nodded.

“You work with Marc.”

Dani nodded again.

“Are there two Dani’s at the station, Marc?”

The younger rider did that same completely giveaway look at his boyfriend before he answered. “No. There’s only one Dani.”

*

1008pm

“DanicanItalktoyououtsideforaminuteplease?”

I think I get what you’re saying. He nodded and followed him outside, closing the door behind them and steadying himself against the hug as it came at him like a brick wall. “You ok?”

Marc nodded into his neck and sniffed. “Yeah. I have you, so I’m ok.” He pulled away and messed Dani’s hair slightly, smiling at him. “I just…I need a break…”

“I know what you mean. But it’s not too bad?”

“It’s ok. I’m surprised how long they were shocked for. I’m surprised…well…” He shrugged wearily and delved a hand into Dani’s jeans pocket, knowing what was there and lighting himself a cigarette. “I’m surprised it took so long! Like I said before…I would have thought the way you look at me would-“

“It does once you notice.” The older rider nodded at him and put his arms round his waist. “But they are quite shocked, so they wouldn’t assume that, would they?”

“I guess not.”

“Definitely not.” He leaned in for a kiss and relaxed as he felt Marc do the same, shoulders loose, forearms resting on Dani’s shoulders.

“Now just the moving in part…”

“Ah, yeah.”

“Yeah.” Marc widened his eyes and nodded. “So get ready for another 40 million awkward questions…”

“Awkward, yes. But not mean.”

“True, I hope.”

“I think so.”

“Ok. Let’s do it. And…keep going like this, yeah? They have to understand…that it’s real…”

“I will. Like I said, it’s up to you.”

“Good. I just…need them to know it’s permanent.”

They looked at each other for a second, Marc nervously smiling, as that word sunk in and made them both shiver in a mixture of nerves and bliss. Permanent. “Then we’ll show them that it’s permanent.”

“Ok…” Marc laced their fingers together and led him back inside, looking back once more. “Ok.”

*

1042pm

“There’s something else I need to tell you.”

He felt all eyes fall on him, most already aware, the most exacting not aware at all.

“I’m not staying here. When Alex moves…”

“Here?” Julia, who could now just about look at his son and Dani snuggled in one arm chair together without going bright red.

“This house.”

“Oh, ok. You’ve found somewhere else? I guess it’s a bit silly to pay rent on-“

“Exactly.” Marc felt Dani’s hand gently squeeze him and smiled at him. “I’m, er…moving in with Dani.”

Roser and Julia looked at each other and then back at Marc, shocked. Again.

“What?!”

“Yeah…” The younger rider coughed nervously and nodded at them, trying to read the expressions as if they were ancient code, almost squinting. “I’m bisexual. You know that…Dani is my boyfriend…but…it’s not…an experiment. I love him. I mean, really. I love him, and I’m moving in with him.”

That wasn’t quite as popular.

*

1106pm

There was some tense grumbling, irritation, control-taking dressed up as advice, and then finally statements to the effect that it was a silly idea and too soon, but if it makes you happy…

I just wish I could believe you.

They eventually left much as they’d arrived, all smiles but obviously preparing whatever conversation they were going to have in the car on the way home, not quite as warm, shock coming back, sense of their son’s foolishness amped up to new levels.

He closed the door softly, sad to see them go but so relieved, and smiled as Alex grabbed him into a hug and squeezed. “Go and de-stress with Dani. Me and Alicia will clean up.”

“Really?” I would protest but I so need it.

“Really.”

Marc nodded at him, smiling, and walked over to Dani, silently taking his hands and pulling him towards the garden.

"Me and you time, now."

Chapter Text

“Holy shit. So…this is it…”

Alex nodded at him and pulled him into a hug, feeling exactly the same as his brother. Excitement, fear, and an aching kind of sadness that made him want to never let him go, both of their voices slightly muffled. “This is it. But I’m not far away.”

“I know.” Marc nodded into his brother’s neck and gave him a squeeze. “I know. And you be fucking careful, Alex. I mean it! And call me whenever you wa-”

“I will! Stop it.”

“Sorry.”

Finally the younger pulled away and grinned down at his brother, bittersweet. “I love you, bro. Don’t fuck this up.” He flicked his eyes behind him to Dani and then looked back at Marc. “Right?”

The older sibling smiled and nodded, giving him one last squeeze. “I will do my best.”

“Good. I’ll do mine.”

“Good. I’ll see you at Motorland. Now go before I cry.”

He watched him get in the car and fade into the distance, heat haze shimmering the image as it got further away, Dani wrapping him in a hug and holding on until he could feel Marc was calmer again.

“He’s not far away.”

“I know. He’s not far away. But…that’s it now. He’s-“

“I know.” Dani ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair as he pulled away slightly and looked at him. “He’s on his own two feet now.”

“Exactly.”

“But he’s going to be fine. You were. And he will be too.”

“I hope you’re right…”

“I am right.”

I know. He took a deep breath and nodded, pulling Dani in for another hug, feeling a bit fragile. “I know. I just hope he stays in touch properly…”

It took two hours for the phone to ring.

*

“Hello?”

“Hiii…just thought I’d call to say I’m here and Alicia just arrived…”

Marc felt himself grin, feeling warm all over, and rolled his eyes at Dani as he mouthed Alex. “Cool…” So I definitely won’t be abandoned.

*

Marc’s actual stuff – aka stuff for living rather than racing, was one journey between houses. Kitchen stuff and things like that weren’t theirs anyway, the landlord had used it as a holiday let before he’d (somewhat foolishly) been charmed into letting it to Marc and Alex, so Marc was moved in within an hour. The car was technically shared but Marc was keeping it, Barcelona the kind of place where a car space was expensive, and a car not very useful. Besides – Alex had a team now, properly. He had transport to and from races and someone who would mend the bike when he (sometimes inevitably) crashed it. He had a career.

Marc, on the other hand, didn’t. Dani rode his boyfriend’s road bike up to his house, thrilled and amazed he was allowed to, and then waited nervously for Marc to turn up. He’d said he was going to ‘change the wheels and then set off straight away’ but Dani could see the look in his eyes and knew exactly what he was going to do. Sure enough, he turned up sooner than he should have, on slicks.

“Yes I did it and nothing went wrong and I won’t be going to jail.”

The older rider gave up on protesting pretty soon and just sighed. “I knew you were going to do that.”

“I know. But you still rode away…” Marc gave him his best puppy dog eyes before pulling him in for a quick kiss. “So…”

“Yeah, yeah. Ok. Fine.”

They walked back down to Marc’s hand in hand, stopping for ice cream on the way, which had sent them back to teenager-ville for a good half an hour, icy noses and all, Dani now used to that feeling and in love with it. When they got back and Marc opened the garage door to reveal the amount of stuff still in there, the older man groaned and looked at the ceiling, feeling his boyfriend’s apologetic sorry but it won’t take long?! lie of an expression looking back at him.

“Fuck.”

“I know…” The younger rider cringed and then grinned hopefully. “But it’s useful stuff…”

That remains to be seen. In the end, it took 5 trips until it was finally pretty much safely packed into Dani’s garage, and they were stood outside on the street staring at it, Marc in that knee-weakening white vest he’d worn before, muscles glistening with sweat in the moonlight, covered in dirt and oil and general grime, wiping his brow like a 1950’s Route 66 garage mechanic. Dani didn’t fare much better, but he’d gone for the less vain option of a black t shirt, so most of it was invisible.

“We smell gross.”

Marc turned to him and nodded. “We do. We worked hard.”

“We did. And you officially live here.” Dani laced their fingers together and kissed the back of Marc’s hand. “I had other plans for tonight but I think I need a half hour shower, some food, and some sleep.”

“Same! Tomorrow we’ll do something middle-class and planned. Ok?”

“Perfect.”

They did just that, no thoughts of showering together since it was a shower for a practical and important purpose, and Dani went first, door still open, singing slightly to himself and then bursting out laughing when he saw Marc in the doorway.

“God! You are filthy!”

“I know.” The younger rider grinned down at himself and laughed, naked, the outline of where the vest had been looking like it had been painted around in charcoal. “Luckily, I can now shower indoors.”

“You can. I’ll be done in 5 minutes.”

“No rush. Do you have cash? I’m going to order pizza.”

“Good idea.” Dani rolled his eyes as he turned back and found Marc already on his way out, and called after him. “IN MY WALLET ON THE COFFEE TABLE.”

“OK! SORRY I NEVER HAVE CASH!”

The older rider smiled to himself and ducked his head under the stream of water again. Yeah, I know.

*

“Oh so that’s how it’s going to be, is it?”

Marc looked up from whatever magazine he was reading and frowned. “What?”

“I see you’ve been in my wardrobe…”

“Ah.” He smiled sheepishly and looked down at his shirt. “Yeah, I have! It’s our wardrobe now. And this is massive so I stole it.” He cackled slightly and grinned at the look on his boyfriend’s face.

“What do you mean by that?!” Dani ruffled his hair on his way past the back of the sofa and smiled at the little harrumph of irritation. “It’s big on me, too, ok?!”

“Yes! Not like that! I mean, I have no comfy clothes. Like, house clothes…and I found this, so…”

“So…”

“We’re eating pizza. Hopefully a lot of pizza. So I’m not wearing someth-“

“I’m joking and it’s fine. I like it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It makes me feel like I own you.”

Marc glared at him and flipped him off. “Pfff.”

“But we should probably talk about that since most of our stuff will probably fit each other. Other than jeans. Want to share?”

“Like jackets and t shirts and stuff?” Marc got up as there was a knock at the door, almost running towards it in hunger, wrenching it open before he paid the guy and then whacked the two boxes down on the coffee table, opening one and starting it before Dani was even sat next to him. “Don’t complain. I’m really hungry.”

The older rider shook his head affectionately and grabbed a slice for himself, the rest of the conversation happening in between chews, or sometimes during. “Yeah, t shirts and jackets and stuff.”

“That’s fine with me.” Swallow. “I always wanted to see you wear that leather jacket I have. I think you’d look hot.”

“Well then we’ll share. Everything. Ok?”

“Yes. Except race stuff. I mean…share the bills, rent, etc…everything here…but you crash on track you pay for yourself. Deal?”

There is a sensible business brain in there somewhere. “Deal.”

Marc smiled and nodded before whacking the first, and now empty, pizza box onto the floor, hoisting the lid of the second one. “Cool. Right, round 2.”

I think the food bill might go up.

*

Once they were full, or rather, Dani was full and Marc had eaten everything else, they went out onto the terrace and had a cigarette and a beer before the older rider ordered him to sit still and disappeared inside. He reappeared a few minutes later with two glasses and a bottle of champagne.

“Ok, you can turn and look now.”

Marc did and his eyes lit up. “Awww! Champagne?!”

“Yes. Champagne. To celebrate you moving in, and Alex moving on, and just…the fact that I found you. For me, anyway.”

The younger rider’s eyes lit up even further and he smiled at him, taking a glass and laughing at Dani’s terrified face as he popped the cork, as it turned out, smoothly, and then poured it. The cork disappeared over the edge and down into the neighbours garden, causing them to share a quick look before Dani took over the toast.

“Cheers. To you, and me, and…today.”

Marc reciprocated and they clinked glasses and sat drinking in silence for a few happy minutes before his boyfriend found his sun lounger invaded by a full, tipsy motorcyclist. The younger rider made himself comfy and laid his head on Dani’s chest, murmuring in happiness at the way he played with his hair, and then sighed. “I never thought this would happen.”

Me neither. “I know what you mean. But which part?”

“I mean…I didn’t even know if I believed in love, and now I live with my serious boyfriend. Who I’ve known less time than I was with my ex-girlfriend, who I kind of only tolerated. It’s crazy.”

“Put it like that, it is a bit crazy. Are you happy?”

“Yeah.” Marc nodded into his chest and expertly tipped a bit more champagne into his mouth, managing to not pour it all over both of them somehow. “I’m really, really happy. There’s other things that aren’t perfect yet –racing and careers and everything – but I can’t imagine anything better than you and champagne and living with you. So, personal life stuff…I’m just…amazed. So happy. Thank you.”

Dani felt himself melt slightly and tried the champagne trick less successfully, a bit running down his cheek. “Fuck.”

“Eh?”

“Sorry, I spilt some.”

Marc turned his head up towards him and grinned, stretching up to lick the line of champagne. “Gone.”

“Thanks. And…me too. But why did you thank me?”

“Because you make my life so much easier, even though it’s not on purpose always, so thank you.”

The older rider gave him a squeeze and kissed the top of his head. “Well in that case, you’re welcome? And thank you. You do the same. I love you. So, so much.”

“You’re also welcome.” Marc smiled and took another sip before sighing contentedly and nuzzling into the hug, both of them grinning at the formal exchange, weird in a way despite however much it needed to be said. “And I love you, too.”

Chapter Text

“Morning.”

“Hello?”

Dani had gone to work early and left Marc in bed, something he definitely needed, and the phone had woken him up.

“Didn’t you look at caller display?”

“No. But morning. I’ve realised who it is, now.”

“Good. Right…well…just thought I’d call to update you. Alex did his first proper test at Montmeló yesterday, I guess you know…”

“I do…”

“Well…don’t tell him, but I thought I’d tell you…it’s good. It’s really good. I mean, some people have started talking about wins…”

“Really?” Marc felt his heart fill with pride and sat up properly in bed, noticing the note on the pillow next to him for the first time and rolling his eyes Morning. Or possibly afternoon… ;) xxx. “Amazing.”

“Yeah that’s basically it…amazing. You’re coming to Motorland?”

“Yeah, I am definitely. Don’t know about Dani.”

“Ok, well I’ll see you there, then. Just thought I’d let you in the loop…but don’t tell him, like I said. He’s pretty overwhelmed as it is…”

“Yeah I could tell. Ok…I won’t. Thank you for letting me know.”

“No problem. Now…wake up and get up. Get your voice sounding human, and answer the phone when it rings in a few minutes.”

Marc felt a shiver of excitement run through him as he realised who it would be that Jorge had spoken to and would now be calling him. “Ok, I understand exactly what you mean. Thanks. Bye…”

The Mallorcan signed off and Marc stared at the wall for a few seconds before almost leaping out of bed and running into the bathroom, grabbing a glass of water and talking to himself to make it sound like he’d woken up earlier than…he looked at his watch and sighed. Oops. 1136am.

The phone rang at 12.

*

I should at least ask. So that I know. The fact that I don’t remember something this important from that first meeting says enough. Just ask. Dani studied his boss’s face and then took a deep breath.

“Remind me how long my notice is…?”

The older man looked up at him in a mixture of horror and misunderstanding. “What?”

“If I leave.” Gulp. “How many weeks notice do I need to give?”

He watched Alberto’s face go from horror through disappointment to some sort of acceptance. “2 weeks.”

God, that’s not long. Cough. “Ok. And Marc?”

The horror returned as Alberto’s brain played him a montage of what his life would be like without both his star workers. “2 weeks. But…if you both resign at once, I might need 3 weeks. I can’t run it on my own…”

“I understand.” Dani decided he wanted out of the situation for a few minutes to let it sink in, for him and Alberto, and made off towards the coffee machine. “Cappuccino?”

*

“Hi, Marc?”

“Hi, yes. Speaking…”

“It’s Emilio.”

I fucking know exactly who it is. “Hello. Nice to hear you’ve not forgotten about me!” Cringe.

The older man chuckled to himself and Marc could imagine the 125cc champion shaking his head. “Don’t think there’s much chance of that…I said I’d call you round now, anyway.”

You did. But then I crashed. Twice. “You did.”

“Healed ok after the crash?”

“Yeah, fine thanks. Just bruised…”

“Good. I hope Alex passed on my message…”

“He did.”

“Good. Well we have a few things to talk about. Are you free now?”

“Yes. I’m free.” He opened the door onto the terrace and blinked as the sun hit him, sitting in a chair and starting what would turn out to be the first cigarette of 8. “Go ahead…”

*

“You know days like today, when only one of us is working, you should give the shift to Marc…”

Alberto looked up at him and frowned. “Why?”

“Because he needs the money more than I do.”

“He doesn’t have the same experience as you, though.”

“I know, but he knows what he’s doing.”

“He does.” The older man nodded and smiled at him, the gesture obviously more of an effort than he wanted it to appear. “But…he moved in with you?”

“He did.”

“Well I’m really happy for you. You seem like a good match.”

“I think we are.” Or what I really mean: he’s perfect. “But thanks! Never thought it would turn out like this…”

“Like what?”

“I guess I expected to be working here forever…watching everything kind of pass me by…” He realised how that could be offensive and cringed slightly. “I mean, not….like you. You have your own business and that’s different.”

Alberto smiled at him knowingly and shrugged. “Maybe it is. I think it’s changed everything for everyone, me hiring him.”

“I guess it has. I’m glad you did.”

*

Marc was pacing for most of the next hour after the phone call before doing a quick bit of maths about daylight hours left and hastily making off for Rufea. Nerves like those, he’d learnt, could only be beaten by two things: motorbikes or sex. And Dani was still at work, so motorbikes it would have to be. Unless I fake an emergency… He dismissed that and set off down towards Lleída, obeying speed limits a distant dream, and pulled into the track and smiled as the barrier automatically raised for him, having called ahead and checked it was ok. He then spent the afternoon burning fuel under the burning sun, until eventually his brain had processed everything and the sun was starting to set. He’d left a note at home that he hoped Dani had found and stopped off at services on his way home to wolf down an usually large portion of Spaghetti Bolognese that he’d charmed the woman in the restaurant to be generous with.

Walking back up the steps to the front door he could feel his heart in his mouth, nerves not really dissipated and more just kept at bay for a while, and felt a further fizz as he pulled out his key and opened the door to their house.

“Hi…I’m home…”

Dani leaned back out of the kitchen area to smile at him and greet him, cooking. “Hello! Good day?”

“Yeah. Good day. Great afternoon…” He walked over to the older rider and wrapped his arms around him from behind, Dani the perfect height to be a victim of that. “How about you?”

“Not bad.” Deep breath. “I, er…I asked Alberto how long our notice was…”

Marc felt his heart do a little dance and nodded into his boyfriend’s neck. “And..?”

“2 weeks, maybe 3 if we both go at the same time.”

“Not bad.”

“Not bad.”

“And the perfect introduction to what we need to talk about…”

Dani stopped stirring his pan and turned to face him, expression a mix of hundreds of things that Marc didn’t have time to work out. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” Deep breath, assume the brace position. “I got a call from Emilio this morning…”

Chapter Text

It hadn’t been too bad, all in all. Marc could see the excitement on his face, how happy he was for him, and he wouldn’t expect anything less. There was no jealousy, not a hint of it, the only thing that was lurking just under the surface was the nerves. He could practically read the prompter in his boyfriend’s head. What does this mean, where are we going, what do we do, can I deal with this, what is this, can I deal with anything, how is my life this. The contents of the phone call had been more than Marc ever could have dreamed for, really. Especially a couple of years ago when he didn’t really have time for dreaming whilst he was re-learning how to walk. The 1999 champion had started off small. Would you like to race at Motorland and Cheste? Marc had said yes, quicker than he’d ever answered anything before. And then the next bit. If that goes well, would you like to test in Jerez after the World Championship season is over? Yes. Yes, yes yes. It wasn’t the offer of a permanent ride, but it was the offer of a chance to prove he was worth a permanent ride. The ball was back in his court; it depended on him and his ability alone, for the first time since he’d been hit by the truck. And that was all he’d wanted, really. If he wasn’t good enough, so be it. If he never got a chance to find out? That was the thing that had kept him awake at night.

“So…we need to talk about everything, yeah?”

Dani nodded and almost audibly gulped. “Yeah. But not tonight. Ok? After the weekend.”

“After the race.”

“Yeah.”

“Ok…”

Is it? “But we need to talk about that, too…”

Marc took a deep breath and nodded, wrapping him in a hug. We do, because I still hurt. “We do. After food, yeah?”

“Ok.”

You’re going to do it again. He could hear it in his voice. “Ok…” Please don't do it again.

*

They were sat, unconventionally, on the floor on the terrace, leaning against the wall under a blanket. The night was cool and clear, the heat of the day replaced by something more human friendly, and the stars and the moon were more than bright enough for them to see each other, nervous glances normally never a reality.

“I never said…I mean, I said…but I never made you believe me…that it’s not because I don’t love you." How do I make you understand? "It’s not because I’m embarrassed. I promise. I’m just not ready for it to be public, at the track. I’m not ready for whatever that would mean…” For you. And I’m never going to tell you that. “I promise, I just need some time.”

Marc looked away and over the town as the words started, nodding to himself, a lot calmer than the first time they’d talked about it, but still very much hurt. “I just don’t understa-“

“I just want you to trust me that I love you more than anything and that we’ll get there.”

But we could be there already. “Just tell me why. I mean, really…stop bullshitting me and tell me why.”

This is the problem when you lie to people who know you inside out. He tried to cobble a fake but believable version of the truth together and see if that was more palatable. I’m sorry. “It’s just not the right time to overcomplicate everything for ourselves with being the first gay riders. Openly gay riders. I don’t want people talking about me because I love you, not at the track, I want people talking about me because I duelled with you for the win.” Or, translated: I don’t want anything to get in YOUR way, and I’ll lie to your face to make sure of it. "And, er...you too." You only.

That did seem to sink in more, making more sense to Marc than I’m not ready to go public I’m nervous and he nodded, accepting but disappointed. “I understand what you mean and it makes a lot of sense. But I don’t care. I really don’t care. It’s just an extra challenge. It’s just one more thing, you know? Maybe it’s because I’m used to hurdles…but if people don’t respect what you do on track, for whatever reason, you just have to do better and better until they can’t fucking ignore you.”

“I agree. But jumping over hurdles and creating them is different.”

“We didn’t create it, though!" It’s not like I have a choice in the fact that I love you and I need you. I don’t have a choice whether you’re a guy or not. I didn’t…I mean, we didn’t create anything. The world created the problem. Or, not problem…I don’t think it would be as big a problem as you seem to think it would. But the world created the circumstances, not us.”

“I know. And believe me, I don’t want this secrecy to last forever. I want to share everything with you, too. But…now is not the best time.” Especially after that phone call today. “Just wait a while and then we’ll-“

“But look at what we lose!” Marc’s voice got louder for the first time in the conversation and he threw his hands in the air slightly. “We lose so much! Didn’t you feel that, celebrating without me when you won? Watching what we said, how we moved, what we did…do you really think it’s worth-“

“Yes, I think it’s worth it.”

The younger of the two sighed and got to his feet. “Ok. Well I’m going to bed.” He disappeared through the door too quickly, calling back over his shoulder. "I don't think it's worth it. And it makes me feel like a coward."

Dani nodded and bit his lip as he watched him go, feeling the horrible difference between the normal and the now, the lack of hand offered down to pull him to his feet to follow, the lack of smile promising things that were soon to be delivered. He sat outside for a while staring at the sky, thinking about it, trying to unravel some sort of plan. Can I really keep telling him this until he signs that contract? And if I can’t, what the fuck do I do then?

The problem, he’d realised a couple of weeks ago, would have been simple enough with anyone else. But Marc was Marc. It wasn’t a case of listen, let’s just wait and get your contract sorted. He’d say he didn’t back down from anything, he’d say exactly what he already had: hurdles are for jumping over. He'd argue until he'd convinced Dani, and then it would be too late, because he'd go full steam ahead and make it public, which Dani had no problem with for himself, but then it's too late. You're not going to get another chance if this one goes up in smoke just because you're braver than me. And you are braver than me. And I can't watch you fail just because you love me.

He sighed to himself and took the last beer from the stash they’d brought out with them, cracking it open and leaning his head back against the cool wall. So I guess what I'd have to do is let you go, and lie. He took a sip and bit back the tears. And one day maybe I’d tell you why, and beg and plead and hope you understand.

And I don't know if you would.

Chapter Text

After a few minutes he gently got into the bed next to Marc, breath held so he could hear everything, trying to figure out if he was asleep or not. He’d just about decided that he was when the younger rider sighed and turned onto his side to face away from him, eyes having flashed open momentarily and making it perfectly obvious that he was. Dani felt his chest go tight for a second at the obviousness of the well we sleep in the same bed but tonight we don’t sleep together and repeated the sigh, but not moving from lying facing up at the ceiling. Please don’t.

“Marc?”

There were a tense few seconds as he obviously tried to decide whether he get pretend to be asleep or not before another sigh and an answer. “What.”

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, and I promise it’s nothing to do with how I feel about you.”

“Hmm.”

“I mean it. Please don’t do this…”

“I’m not doing anything.” The younger rider turned back onto his back and sighed again, eyes now open and staring at the ceiling. “I’m not trying to be a teenager, I just…” Don’t want to be in the bed with you. “…want a bit of space.”

“Don’t.”

“You created it.”

“That’s not fair. I know we disagree on this but…it’s not a symbol of anything. It doesn’t mean anything other than we have something we disagree on for now, but it will turn out ok.”

“It feels like you just don’t love me enough to take a risk.”

Dani bit his lip and tried to not just let it all tumble out. “I love you.” He turned over onto his side so he was facing the other man and ran his finger down Marc’s arm. “It’s nothing to do with it. You know I love you more than I can explain. I hope. I hope you know that. Don’t you see the change in me? See how different I am? Maybe not because I didn’t know you before, but…I said I’d never say those words again. I said I’d never let somebody live here again. I said…a lot of things. A lot of things that I swore were true, because I couldn’t imagine feeling like this again. Like I want to get up in the morning, really. Like I can win races. Like I can have conversations like this far too late at night and the only thing I’m worried about is whether you understand or not. There’s no fear that you’ll think I’m stupid or laugh at me. I was so…I don’t even know how to put it other than broken. I was so broken and you showed up and now…I’m asking how long my notice is. I’m thinking about moving. I’m figuring out how we’re going to make this work when you’re jetting off between Qatar and Sepang. And I don’t think you understand that all these things are the biggest fears I have and have ever had for years.” Other than that one nightmare where you crash.

He was trying to figure out how to carry on before Marc suddenly turned over to face him and took a deep breath. I’m back in. “What are? Why is it such a big thing, moving?”

Dani took a few seconds to look at him, reminding himself of who this was in front of him and why he could say it, out loud, for the first time in his life. “Because…” I can. Because I met you. “Because I fucked up, Marc. I fucked up really badly and I let everything I wanted burn. And here, you can get up in the morning and go through the motions and tell yourself tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow and not have to really stand face to face with the facts: the facts are that I’m never going to get what I wanted. I’m not going to be a MotoGP World Champion. And I have to live with that for another 50 years. And before you, it seemed worth it. Staying here and just waiting f or those years to pass in a blur seemed worth it.”

The younger rider’s eyes welled up slightly and he stared into Dani’s. “Wow.”

“It’s not worth it anymore.” He took a deep breath and tried to keep his voice steady, trying to get past what had started to sound like self-pity. “It’s going to be hard, I know that, but it’s going to be worth it. Because there’s something else I want, now. Something I must want even more than I wanted all that other stuff. Because I let her drag me away from it and drag me down, and I could feel it all the time in the back of my mind, and I let it go and ignored it. Not this time.”

There were a few more seconds of silence, no speech but certainly communication, before Marc cleared his throat. “Did you just tell me that you want me more than everything you ever dreamed of?”

Pretty much. He gulped and nodded, feeling pure relief flood through his as Marc’s hand laced through his. “Yeah.”

Wow. The younger rider nodded at him and then took his hand back, feeling the flash of panic go through Dani and shaking his head at him, tracing his index finger under each of his boyfriend’s eyes where just a little bit of emotion had appeared on his cheeks. “I’m sorry I didn’t know it was so…hard…”

“It’s ok.” Dani smiled at him and allowed himself to try pulling him in, relaxing as he gave way willingly and moved against him, skin shivering as Marc’s lips planted a little line of kisses down his neck. “I never explained. I just…want you to understand that…I was a coward. But now I’m not. And when I say I think we should wait, it’s not because you’re not worth everything in the world to me, it’s because I honestly think it will be better, in the long run.”

“I disagree with you.” Marc’s face came back to his, close, lips almost touching. “But I understand. Let’s leave it for tonight.” He pressed their lips together for a second before pulling away again and moving himself up the bed slightly. “Now, it’s your turn to feel how you make me feel.” He rested his chin on top of Dani’s and wrapped his arms around him, stroking his hair and feeling him melt. Like that. “I love you. And I know…I don’t know. We are the way we are. You’re usually on top. You’re usually the one hugging me. Holding me. I sit on your lap. And-“

“I love doing t-“

“I know.” Marc nodded gently and carried on. “That’s how we work. But sometimes, like now, we should switch. Just for a while. So…just let me hold onto you and make you feel better. So you remember that I’ve got you.”

“Got me?”

“Yup.” He squeezed him and then had to squeeze him again, unable to resist, after the older rider let out an impossibly adorable little yelp. God. “I’ve got you and I’m not going to drop you.”

Chapter Text

Dani woke up in the same place he’d gone to sleep, Marc around him like a tanned, lithe moat separating him from anything and everything he didn’t want to deal with, the older rider safe and surrounded and breathing in the faint sounds of his boyfriend’s breath, little murmurs in response to Dani moving slightly, hands, somehow automatically, still sometimes gently stroking the older rider’s skin underneath them, just as when they’d gone to sleep, the contact keeping them both connected. He moved again slightly, amazed at how they’d managed to stay like that for hours and he, at least, was still comfy and had full circulation to all his limbs, and then pulled his head away slightly and traced Marc’s lips with his tongue, the younger man’s eyes fluttering slightly, little moan vibrating through his mouth and into Dani’s, before finally he opened his eyes and they settled on the interruption.

“Morning.”

Marc smiled at him and moved his left hand up from the older rider’s back and into his hair, ruffling it and pulling his head in for a kiss. “Oh it's you. Morning.”

“I can feel you’re happy to see me.” Dani looked down between them and grinned at the slightly red, cheek filled expression on his boyfriend’s face. “Hmm?”

“Maybe a bit…” Marc’s hand disappeared into the sheets between them and traced a line down from Dani’s adams apple to his cock, grinning at the response and pulling them closer together. “Maybe as much as you.” He showered a few little kisses against the stubble covered jawline of the older man and felt his breath catch as Dani’s hand felt it’s way around him, down his spine to his ass, cupping him closer, fingers tracing the line of his crack, impossibly teasing and gentle, point made.

“That’s a lot, then.”

I think we’re back. He could hear the cheeky spark in Dani’s voice and took the initiative to prove it, clamping his legs around him and pinning the older rider to the bed, feeling himself flush as the friction made them both grunt slightly. “Almost too much.”

Dani’s hands pulled him down by the neck, lips hungry and muscles automatically holding their bodies together. “Last night, you said you’ve got me. Well, I want you to have me.” He studied Marc’s face to see if he’d got that. “Right?”

“Do you mean-“

“Yes. That’s what I mean.”

He watched Marc’s face take that in, something between desire, desperation and nerves in his eyes, before he nodded and gulped slightly. “Ok. Just tell me if I-“

“You’re not going to hurt me. We’ve done it before.” Dani reached out his right arm and pulled the top drawer of the cabinet next to the bed open, grabbing the lube and a condom and placing them in the middle of his chest, staring up at him. “And there’s something else we need to talk about…”

“Hmm?”

“Well, we’re not going to pregnant, are we?”

“I hope not!”

The older rider grinned at that and nodded, groaning again as Marc shifted slightly, both now impossibly hard and finding it difficult to not give in to just taking as much friction as they could. “Keep still, or we’re not going to make it that far…”

Marc grinned wickedly and shifted again, laughing slightly at the way Dani’s head collapsed back into the pillow, hands on Marc’s hips, eyes rolling back. “STOP. What I mean is…I’m clean. Have you got any horrible diseases?”

The younger rider’s face was suddenly right next to Dani’s again, grinning. “Well…funny story…”

“Oh great! Now is a great time for stories.”

“Pff. It’s topical. And I’ll blow you in the store cupboard later to say sorry…?” His voice lowered to a whisper and Dani felt the breath hot on his neck as he leaned in. “…when Alberto’s there. Listening. Waiting for us…”

You’ll be the death of me. “Ok TELL THE FUCKING STORY NOW. And STOP MOVING.”

“Ok!” He sat up again, grinding, and grinned. “The funny story is short, but…since Alex got with Alicia I made him go and get tested. For everything. But he wouldn’t do it unless I did it as well…so I went. And he was so embarrassed. It was hilarious. And there was this questionnaire…and…well…I think some of my responses freaked him out. He went even redder…but we were both clean …and I’m pretty sure it would be a bit late for that, anyway.”

Dani laughed, not able to imagine gangly, calm Alex in that situation, and threw the condom across the room. “Probably.” A thousand and one swallows, licks and kisses flashed through his mind, body twitching in response. “Then you have everything you need.”

“If I last 10 seconds, I’m sorry.”

“What?” The older rider laughed at him and raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, I rarely do this anyway. But now…I’m going to feel you. I mean…you, and nothing else…” He bent down to whisper in his ear again. “You, and nothing else.”

“That’s how it should be.”

“I know.” Marc sat up on his knees and looked down at the sight in front of him, already both of them finding it hard to breathe steadily, no words but a lot said. He smiled at him, a smile that Dani found captivated him completely, not thinking about anything else, zoned out on Marc’s face and the concentration and lust on it, eyes black and shining in the sunlight that was streaming through the window, until he was watching the most delicious grin in the world, then the younger rider’s tongue was out, lube pooled on the end of it, head lowering. Dani’s mind almost broke. Of course, fingers are too mainstream. His hands tangled in the younger rider’s hair as he tried to keep up with each new sensation, hips involuntarily bucking towards him, lube not as cold as normal, warmed by Marc’s tongue which was now being joined by a finger. Dani bit his lip and moaned as the younger rider added another, gently teasing him wider, and let out another moan, fingertips digging into Marc’s skin in response, him hissing slightly at the pain, but in a good way, in the way that Dani had learnt meant I want more but I won’t ask. Gentle but purposeful, expert but not boring, and then his lips were on Marc’s and the caramel of the lube – the younger rider had come home with it a few days before, exceedingly proud of himself – swirled in their mouths, Dani growling into it as Marc pulled his fingers out and gently pushed inside him, the feeling recognisable enough in his life but with Marc, in love, still new and exciting and maybe slightly nervous, still feeling the same need from the night before to have exactly what the younger rider had offered him. You’ve got me. “I’m going to be gent-“

“You…just…” He arched his back as the younger broke the kiss and nibbled his earlobe, tongue flicking along his jawline, humming against his skin, the noise of the stubble going through both of them, Dani’s hand automatically grabbing a handful of hair, not rough on purpose but still earning him a slight growl from the man on top of him, the nibble of the earlobe replaced by him biting down on Dani’s bottom lip, too hard or not hard enough, blood on their tongues as finally, Marc gently started to thrust, listening to the noises spilling from the older man, feeling the conscious and unconscious reactions as he hit the sweet spot, kissed him, bit him, scratched him, giving as good as he got; and he was given good.

The lack of control, not needing to do more than just respond, left Dani’s head thrown back, just letting himself unravel, breath coming out in short, sharp bursts as Marc understood the phrase that he’d left abandoned: you just trust yourself, doing just that, hand drilled into the mattress next to them to hold himself steady…ish, both of them covered in a sheen of sweat, flushed cheeks, grunting as the rhythm got slightly faster and deeper, Marc captivated by the writhing mess underneath him. And it’s me. I’m doing that. Just me.

He could feel himself running out of control and wrapped his hand around Dani’s cock, keeping the rhythm, pressure building, even just the noise of the older man surrendering almost enough, desperately pushing back against Marc and pleading for more through gritted teeth. “I kn..Dani, I..I’m…”

The older man nodded and pulled his mouth down onto his, final moan shared between them, noise guttural and needy and loud, vibrations humming through their tongues, before finally Marc let go and shuddered down on top of him, almost collapsing with a groan, body pressing down on him and extra contact pushing him over the edge, stomachs sticky and hot as he came between them, muscles like elastic as they panted at each other for a few seconds. The younger rider took a few deep breaths, still inside him, forehead to forehead, breathing each other in, and then kissed him again; long, and slow, and gentle, exploring every bit of him and seeing the same thing in Dani’s eyes as he was trying to say in his own.

Remember the first time we did this? Remember how I clung on to you like I couldn’t let go? Remember how you didn’t let me go then or since or ever?

Dani ran his hand down the younger man’s back and nodded against him. “I remember.”

They lay there in silence for much longer than that first time, until finally they stirred and got up, showered, had breakfast, went about with their day. Rode to work, Marc in front, Dani sometimes pulling alongside essentially just to yell at him to take it a bit steadier; the younger rider replying with an extremely impressive and illegal wheelie. They got through their shift, Dani got his promised blow job in the cupboard, and he couldn't walk quite as smoothly as he'd wanted to in front of the boss after the morning they'd enjoyed.

"Motocross accident." That's why my cheeks are red. Both sets. "Motocross accident."

Chapter Text

The race weekend passed in a blur. It was obvious from the moment they arrived at the track: Dani and Marc finding Alex and Alicia, the younger brother not racing but coming to see Marc, Jorge finding them all, that they knew each other well. So it wasn’t as difficult as Marc had feared to keep everything casual. And he seemed happy enough with that, for the moment, after the conversation they’d had about it. Not forever, but for now it was ok.

He was on pole again, and Dani was fifteenth. Which used to be where he’d end up, but the affront to his personal dignity by starting back there really made it hit home how much Marc had changed him. He didn’t feel like he belonged there; he felt like it was obvious that he was supposed to be fighting further up.

After Turn 1, Marc was third and Dani eleventh, one always good off the line one always creating trouble for himself. After the end of lap 1, Marc was leading again and Dani was eighth. The younger rider, fresh with more confidence after the phone call from Emilio and emotionally stable this time round, just disappeared into the distance and Dani got his head down and got on with the job, passing two riders in one at the end of the straight on the final lap, getting himself onto the podium. Again.

They sprayed each other with champagne and hugged in Parc Fermé, and no one seemed any the wiser that they were more than friends, and then went to a bar opposite the track where Marc and Alex had a few more drinks; Jorge, Dani and Alicia all driving.

Marc, when he was like this, happy and flushed cheeks, laughing so easily and throwing him glances that sent his pulse racing, was enough to make Dani insane enough to not complain and take the risk when his boyfriend looked at him and grinned.

“I’m going to the bathroom.”

Dani gulped as he read between the lines perfectly, not sure if the idea was incredibly stupid or stupidly incredible. “Right.”

Jorge leant forward and put his beer on the table, looking between them. “So you don’t want people to know, in public? Ok. But everyone at the table knows so you can just say ‘Dani I’m going to the bathroom so please come and fuck me.’”

Marc had had enough alcohol for that to send him howling, intense giggles that caught Alex in the crossfire and sent him laughing along with him, although he was deep red and his eyes were slightly traumatised. Alicia was staring at Dani as though she couldn’t find it funny or offensive until she’d seen what he did. And the older rider, despite his flaming cheeks and desperation to wipe the grin off Marc’s face with a kiss, eventually bubbled up into a giggle fit and joined them, nodding and getting to his feet, brushing his fingertips across his boyfriend’s shoulder blades and grinning. “Ok, ok. Thank you. I’m not doing that here. But a little privacy would be nice.”

“I will be right there.” Marc’s eyes glowed back at him, obviously feeling the same kind of frustration. “GO.”

I will.

*

In the end, they didn’t do that much. They stole the disabled toilet, locked the door, kissed for what seemed like hours, and then just shared a long, tight hug, murmuring through the events of the day and breathing each other in for a while, before Marc pulled away and stared at him, smiling, hands in his back pockets. “God I missed you already! Do you want to go home?”

“What about Alex?”

“We’ll see him again soon. I want to go home.” He pressed his lips against Dani’s and gently pulled his bottom lip as he moved back again. “I want to get in our bed, and tonight I want you to wrap me up and I want you to tell me that I can do this. I don’t even…I just…that’s all I want.”

The older rider nodded at him and ran a hair through his hair. “Ok. I can make that happen really, really easily.” He pulled him in for another hug and kissed him on the cheek, squeezing his hand and leaning up to press his lips to his ear. “Starting now. I’m so proud of you.”

*

They made it out the toilet without being seen, went back to the table, said their goodbyes, and left the other three getting joined by some other guys, happy enough. The drive back wasn’t too far, but Marc fell asleep in the passenger seat, face so relaxed that Dani almost found himself needing to pull over just to look at him, cheekbones perfectly chiselled, breath moving him up and down slightly, mouth set in more of a smile than anything else, as though he was dreaming about something good. And that was good in itself.

Alex had told him – about the night when he’d been too far lost in his own head to be the person he should have been – and about the nightmare that had forced on them the kind of brotherly moment they’d needed, in a way, before going their separate ways. He’d told him what Marc had told him; that it hadn’t happened with Dani there, not once, and that had sent another wave of guilt through the older rider for the whole thing. But he knew, ultimately, that there would be nights when they wouldn’t be together. He’d said that to Alex. And Alex, in the way he did that sometimes hit Dani head-on, had looked at him and nodded, eyes lighter than Marc’s, the colours all swirling and full of knowing, and smiled like he was 60 years older than he was.

“It’s not because you weren’t there. It’s because he thought you didn’t want to be.”

Oh. Too many moments with Alex Marquez were spent being surprised by revelations that he himself apparently found obvious. “Oh.”

“Don’t worry. He’s ok, you know?”

“Ok?”

“I mean, he’s not secretly a mess or anything. He’s happy. He works hard. He-“

“Oh.”

“But you know that.”

“I do.”

“And it wasn’t like it used to be. It only just woke me up.”

How it used to be. Dani had gulped at that slightly and then dared to ask. “How did it used to be?”

“It was bad.” Alex had just looked straight at him again and shrugged. “We didn’t sleep much. For a few weeks once he was home.”

“Your parents-“

“Yeah. We took it in turns to go in there and yell at him. I mean…to wake him up. To help. Then it got better and better, and now…it’s pretty much gone. It’s amazing.”

“Amazing?”

“What he did. I mean…I’m sure some day you’ll see the pictures. Of what he looked like…but…I mean…how he just kind of woke up in hospital, listened to the prognoses, and refused.” The younger Marquez had locked eyes with him again and smiled, face full of pride, maybe something else more raw in there somewhere making his voice sound like it was a bit harder to control. “He just fucking refused! Listened, decided that wasn’t good enough, and refused. And…here we are. Moto2. Soon.”

Here we are.

So seeing Marc peacefully sleeping was, for Dani, one of the things in the world that signalled all was good, and calm, and as it should be. The younger rider woke up when they stopped moving, once the engine was off, night suddenly much quieter around them and his subconscious realising the difference.

“We here?”

“Yeah. I was going to carry you upstairs!”

“Sorry.” Marc grinned and yawned, shaking his head. “No carrying. Promise.”

“It wasn’t a complaint.”

“Oh.” He smiled again and followed him up the stairs to the door, still yawning. “Awww.”

“You want to go to bed?”

The younger rider nodded and let himself be dragged along behind his boyfriend, tiredness making him look smaller and slightly swamped in his black Honda hoodie, sleeves pulled down to almost over his hands, hood more like a collar. “Yes. I want to go to bed. And I don’t even mean sex. I mean I just want to go to bed.”

“I know, I know.” Dani grinned at that, now having reached the bathroom, and put a toothbrush with toothpaste on it into Marc’s hands. “I remember what you said.”

The younger rider looked at the brush in his hand, thankful but also somehow aware he really shouldn’t ever be tired enough for that to be necessary, and then smiled and zoned out as he brushed them.

Eventually they were undressed and tangled in the sheets, back to how it should be, Marc’s face buried in Dani’s chest, already sound asleep, Dani’s fingers gently teasing his hair, stroking over the skin of his back, reminding him he was there, thinking through the only exchange before his head hit the pillow.

“You can do this.”

“I know. But sometimes I need-“

“I know. You can do it. I promise.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.” He pulled him in and kissed the top of his head. “Now hush. Now go to sleep.”

"Already...already..."

And he wasn't far wrong.

Chapter Text

Friday

“Morning.” Marc walked in first, nodding at Jorge, nerves like nothing he’d felt before and usual energy tied up. “Ok?”

The Mallorcan nodded at him and narrowed his eyes as he studied the younger man’s demeanour. “You?”

“Nervous.” The tone wasn’t hostile, but definitely laced with don’t ask me about it and don’t talk to me for a while. “Dani’s on his way.”

Right. Like an emergency service for your nerves? “You didn’t come together?”

“Yeah. He’s getting a drink.”

“I’ll go and find him. Alex is in the box. You’re welcome down there.”

Marc looked up at him for the first time since walking in, and took a deep breath. “Thanks. I’ll go and find him, then.”

“Ok. I’ll tell Dani.”

“Thank you.”

“That’s ok.”

“No, I mean…thank you.” The younger man looked up at him and smiled, hopeful and nervous at once. Please don’t make it awkward.

“It’s still ok.” Jorge smiled at him and patted him on the back on his way out. “No problem.”

Thank you.

*

Alex was 11th in FP1, his name mentioned a few times up and down the pit wall, still an unknown quantity and somewhat strangely his first outing with the team coming as a wildcard in the world championship instead of in the CEV. Marc was 29th, his name not mentioned at all, really.

In FP2, the younger Marquez crashed and finished the session in 28th, time unrepresentative and leaving him incredibly angry, to the point where he sat at the table in Dani and Marc’s house staring at his food, hardly eating it, face like thunder, whilst the rest of them chatted and laughed and joked, Jorge along for the ride and sleeping on the sofa despite his sizable wallet, spare room reserved for the other couple.

Marc, in FP2, was 19th. His name was mentioned by a couple of people and picked out on the commentary, everyone knowing they’d heard it before and eventually someone digging out his old results, rumours starting to fly about where he’d gone. Dani could see the twinkle in his eye and knew exactly what was happening.

“So what did you work on this morning?”

“Track.”

“And this afternoon?”

“Brakes.”

“And tomorrow?”

“Track and brakes together, test out the tyres.”

Dani just smiled at him and nodded, more than used to the methodical approach and secretly, not wanting to put pressure on Marc, giddy at the prospect of finally seeing it all unleashed in qualifying. Top ten? Front row? Pole? 25th? The grid he was on was a whole lot different to the one he was used to, but then the bike was set up and worked on by professionals and everyone had the same resources. Well, honestly, Marc had more, because Marc had Alzamora. The first meeting had been strange for the 1999 125cc World Champion, last time he’d seen Marc in person being years ago, and suddenly he was stood in front of someone with the same smile, the same nerves, the same talent, but he was now a man. And, if I’m not mistaken, a man with an older boyfriend. He didn’t raise the suspicion – if he was right the couple obviously wanted to play it down, and the Uccio concept wasn’t a foreign one or one that would raise eyebrows. And he didn’t care. He wanted the kid who’d blown him away those years ago back on his bike, and he’d put a lot of time, effort and faith into making that happen. The one thing he was worried about was the prospect of a crash. He couldn’t keep citing blind faith or the past as a reason why Marc deserved to be there, he had to show it to everyone else around him at the first available opportunity, and the first available opportunity was now.

*

Saturday

Alex was up first, both out of bed and in practice, and sat on his chair in the pits staring up at the screen, rocking from side to side, ignoring everything except the people he couldn’t. Marc not there, Alicia not there, Dani and Jorge not there. After a night of what he’d called annoying distraction, he’d banned everyone, in friendly but firm way, and was determined to make amends for the previous day. By the start of qualifying, he was 8th on the combined times, having finished the last practice in 5th. His name went through another round of Chinese whispers before it was Marc’s turn again.

Marc finished the morning 19th on combined times. He’d gone out, come back, gone out, come back, started thinking through putting it all together. The crew chief they’d given him, Santi, had got over the shock of Friday by now, the kid, as he was still known, citing ridiculous amounts of detail in his feedback, and he listened and acted on everything the young rider said. He’d been disheartened to find the changes of the previous day not much reflected on the timing screens, but Marc was adamant that this and that were ‘much better’ and had made a big difference. Show me, then. He’d raised the point with Emilio and been actively chuckled at.

Dani was in Marc’s garage, along with Jorge, the official reason being that he was a guest of the Mallorcan (as well as a friend of Marc’s), and Jorge was a sponsor. So it worked out ok, and it gave the sunglasses magnate some serious joy as he’d fielded the inevitable phone call a few days prior, a direct reversal of the last one.

“I need access to the paddock.”

“Is that your way of saying ‘please’?”

“Fuck off. And thank you.”

Alex’s qualifying went well, no more crashes, and he started where he’d left off in practice, or almost, in 4th. Marc’s first qualifying lap ended in a lowside, and Dani found himself, somewhat strangely, sharing a look with Alzamora that silently said is there any reason to doubt? I don’t think so but what about you?. Marc got back to the pits, the clutch lever was repaired and all other minor bits of damage dealt with, and he then spent another 10 laps going round doing one last bit of research. He came back, 15 minutes left, and did one flying run that put him on the third row, then came back again, gave his final amendments, and set off down the pitlane for the final run. Dani and Emilio shared another either it’s about to happen or we all need to do some thinking look, although both were more smugly ensconced in the it’s about to happen camp. And it did. 3 laps, the first of which put him in 4th, the second of which put him in 3rd, the third of which ended in the gravel. But front row. All in all, it was absolutely ridiculous, and if Alex’s name had been mentioned more prior, it was now replaced by their surname on its own. Márquez.

*

Sunday

The mood on the way back to the house the night before was fairly rowdy, although everyone was in bed at 11 and up at 630. Even Jorge who, along with Alicia, spent the entirety of breakfast in stony silence, horribly offended by the early morning sun and the lack of lie in, was almost happy by the time they got to the track. Dani studied the two brothers on the way and through the first few minutes of arriving, enamoured by the similarities and differences; one he knew so well and the other he could never pin down, and had noticed two things. One, they both got very monosyllabic when nervous. Two, when using a joke to ease the tension, Marc would heartily laugh and appreciate the effort, nerves dissipating slightly, whereas Alex would absolutely not be cracked. His race face was like the bad guy in a Cold War spy film and the unspoken truth seemed to be you do as I ask or I will burn you.. Dani found it faintly frightening.

Warm Up was good, both riders consolidating on their promise and no more crashes. And before there had been a chance to really catch up with the whole whirlwind, Alex was out for the final time, lining up in his grid spot. Marc and Alicia sat in his pit box, Dani and Jorge sat in the VIP area. And then it was lights out.

The first corner of Moto3 usually sparks coronaries and this was no exception. Luckily, the big run off at turn 1 helped everyone at least stay upright, but Marc found his hand hammered by the grip of his brother’s girlfriend, the livery only slightly different to the other bikes under Emilio’s command normally in the field and not helping them try and figure out where he’d ended up once they settled into an order. He definitely wasn’t on the floor, but he wasn’t at the front either. By the time they made their way down the Aragón corkscrew for the first time, the order was more settled and Alex was the penultimate bike in the front group, in 11th. Pretty good, not amazing, but out of trouble. By lap 12, there were two groups, Alex now tagged onto the back of the first one in 7th, and Marc had to turn to the stressed face next to him and grimace.

“I know how you feel, but I have to race in a bit, and I need to be able to use my arm.”

Alicia went red and let him go. “Sorry! Sorry. Was I holding on a bit tight?”

“Just a bit.” Like a vice.

The middle of the race seemed like torture, no one making a move and the whole thing like a protracted game of chess. Alex looked comfortable, and he was, but so were the others in front of him. The final three laps were when it really heated up, paint and expletives both swapped, one faller, and finally the podium was decided. Alex wasn’t on it, but he’d battled with best and come home in 5th. The team, and Marc and Alicia, were ecstatic. They surrounded him in a hug, everyone wide eyed and excitable, before Marc took a deep breath, said his goodbyes and went back to his garage, where Dani was waiting.

“Ok?”

“Yes.”

“Good ride from-“

“Yeah.”

The older rider took the risk and grabbed his hand for a split second, squeezing, and Marc’s eyes shot up to meet his. “You’re going to be the same. You can do this.”

And he smiled, took another deep breath, and finally relaxed his shoulders. “I think I can, yeah.”

And my boyfriend is back.

*

“Who’s that?”

“Marquez. M-“

“Ah. His brother just hit Romano.” Vale smiled knowingly and nodded, no malice and only respect for the fight the younger Marquez had shown. “He’s a wildcard, too.”

“Yeah.”

“Moto2. Front row.”

“Yeah.”

“Big name from before. Was going to arrive and beat everybody.”

“Exactly.”

“And he’s back.”

“I guess we’ll find out…”

The Italian nodded and took another sip of coffee. “I bet you 500 Euros he’ll be on the podium.”

*

“You want to have a private chat before you go out there?” The manager looked down at Marc, head tilting towards Dani. “5 minutes.”

He knows. Marc nodded at him and felt his boyfriend shadow him into the room, mind too beset by other things to really deal with that possibility, Dani seemingly the same.

“Ok. I can do this.”

“You can do this.”

“I know.”

“I know, too.” The corners of Dani’s eyes crinkled as he smiled at him, pulling him in for a hug and pressing his lips to his ear. “You know wildcards are supposed to be at the back, right?”

Marc laughed into his shoulder and nodded. “I’m not that wild.”

No, not much.

*

“He’ll be ok.” Emilio sat down next to Dani and looked sideways at him. “I have faith.”

“Me too, me too. Just nervous. Especially after…” How much does he know? “…the journey to get back here.”

“I know. It’s-“ He stopped as Santi walked back into the garage, face a mixture of pride, nerves and a touch of horror. “What?!”

Dani felt his heart hit the floor and then bounce back into the sky once the answer came out.

“Apparently Vale put 500 Euros on Marc being on the podium.”

*

He held back on the Warm Up lap, letting most people through, although not the full Casey Stoner version to follow them all round and make them wait. But he took it slow, let his brain click through its settings until he’d found race, and then felt everything start to come together, at least mentally. Step 1, as always, was make a good start. Or at least, remain on the track in full working order and somewhere in the region of your grid position. He didn’t manage that.

Rabat, the man on pole, also made a bad start and they both watched Mika Kallio disappear into the distance, Viñales on his tail, ending up in P5 and P6, Marc behind, wondering whether he should charge or wait, follow or lead, out of practice at riding with people who were on a similar wavelength. Once Tito got them a place further up, the decision was made and he tucked in behind him, sitting up on the straight to make that clear, and followed the older Spaniard as he pulled them back towards the podium. Maverick was now duelling with Aegerter for the lead, Kallio P3, before the two Spaniards caught the Finn and Marc sat and watched them both as Tito sat and watched his teammate, laps counting down, everybody holding station and gathering information.

*

“Where is he now?” The Italian put another forkful of pasta in his mouth and grinned at the reply.

“5th. 2.3 seconds off the lead.”

“Fastest lap last time round?”

“Rabat.”

“And then?”

“Márquez. And he’s sitting up on the straights.”

The Yamaha rider grinned at his lunch and shrugged. “You owe me money.”

*

10 laps to go, Tito finally moved. His teammate’s tyres were looking tired, the squabble at the start more costly than the slow getaway of him and Marc, and he passed him at the end of the straight, easy enough, no way back. Marc didn’t quite do it like that.

He knew he had to stay close, because the battle at the front was still catchable and the Finn was in the way. So he saw the gap and went for it, one of those moments where everyone except the rider closes their eyes, and emerged almost unscathed in front of the Marc VDS rider, the Finn shaking his head, obviously not expecting it, and Marc grinning under his helmet, glad the visor was tinted enough to hide that. Don’t judge me.

Another 3 laps catching back up to Rabat, who had made a good job of catching the others, who weren’t helping themselves, and then a mistake. Too deep into turn 1. Not a disaster, but it left him back on the trail of the others with only 4 laps to go. He watched for a lap, wondering which one would go for it first, and then got to that moment that everyone who isn’t in a title fight gets to.

3 laps to go; fuck you all.

Not sitting up down the straight allowed him to pass Rabat into turn 1, and the watching of hours of races at Motorland in the week previously allowed him to keep it. Some part of his brain was screaming podium podium podium, but most of it was just focused on the double exhaust view.

Two to go.

*

Two to go.

He knew Viñales already, distantly, from years ago. Knew as in had looked at his exhaust on previous occasions. He knew he was good, too, as did everyone, and he was glad he was in front. Because he wanted to try out the move on the Swiss rider before it mattered 100% when he tried it on his compatriot. And he tried it at the final corner, and he pulled it off, and then got taken back. After the start finish line.

One to go.

He went back to the drawing board and took him into the first corner, carbon copy of the move on Rabat, who was still visible in the same shot, and with the same result.

*

“So, what do I owe you?”

*

One to go.

He’d definitely been expected, but Marc had expected to be expected. And he’d practiced it already. So he went for it, maybe swapped a little paint, head down, nothing in his vision except the finish line. It didn’t quite work how it had on Aegerter, though, and they crossed almost neck and neck, his compatriot in front. But that didn't matter too much.

His heart pretty much exploded in his chest, bike slowing so quickly as his hands came up to his visor, a pointless gesture given that he couldn’t touch his face or the tears, and he went past the pits with arms waving at him. I just came second. In the world championship. I got beaten by thousandths by a championship contender. He thought he’d got his head around it by the time he got back round to Parc Fermé, but then immediately felt it explode all over again, running over to Dani and ramming him into a hug, nothing more than friendly but desperately needed.

Second. Today, I was the second best Moto2 rider in the world.

“And you got on the bike for the first time on Friday.”

Chapter Text

Alex had a race win in the CEV under his belt by the time they got to Cheste, along with podiums and a crash. He’d ended the year 5th in the championship, despite only turning up half way through. Marc had won every race since and won the amateur title by a country mile, Dani ending up 3rd, again despite his poor start, because he’d been the guy in second every time, everyone else inconsistent. He’d fought for them and challenged Marc a couple of times, but the younger rider had always beaten him to the line. But that didn’t bother Dani too much, as long as he himself was still improving, and he was. Getting back to how he was.

The talk was big this time round, for both the Marquezs, especially Marc, and their parents had come down to see the race, persuaded by the futility of trying to put their sons off. So that made it different, and Alex again resorted to his stony race face to get some peace, Marc relying on Dani to create the same effect for him. And he did, he kept everyone under control and the stress calmly locked away from his boyfriend, which was definitely needed.

Alex qualified 4th, Marc qualified 3rd. Reasonably normal service resumed. But then race day came, and Dani opened the door onto the hotel balcony and held out his hand to feel the rain. Lots of rain. Rain that looked like it wasn’t going to go anywhere anytime soon.

Marc’s face went from nervous to horror as soon as he saw it, never a good scenario but especially when you were one good race and a test away from a career.

“Shit.”

“You’ll be ok.”

“Hmm.”

“You’ll be ok. Because they’ll all be opening the curtains and shouting shit as well.”

*

“What the fuck!”

Emilio cringed and nodded at him. “Sorry.”

“SORRY?!”

Dani zoned out as Marc slammed out the back of the garage, knowing he’d essentially go out, stand there and fume for a few seconds, then come back in, focused, and get on with it.

“Back of the grid.”

Emilio nodded and cringed, with Dani, in that order. “Yeah.”

“What does that mean?”

“Here? 33rd.”

Ouch.

“Right.” Marc had reappeared, exactly as predicted. “Let’s do this.”

*

Alex fell off. Since almost everybody else also fell off at least once, and he managed to get back on without much damage, he still came 6th, which was pretty good. Or it would have been amazing and the talk of the paddock. Except for what happened in Moto2.

*

“He rides like you.”

Casey looked up and nodded, given the performance he was watching, fairly happy about the comparison. “But more aggressive. Maybe too much.”

“Is he going to win it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Would you?”

The Australian exhaled and shrugged, happy little smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “Possibly…”

*

“He rides like Casey.”

“Maybe. But aggressive.”

“Very aggressive. Is he going to win it?”

“I don’t know.” The Italian smirked and shrugged. “But my wallet hopes so.”

“Would you win it?”

He nodded and tapped his back pocket, sharing the laugh. “Definitely.”

*

Vale had upped the previous bet to 800 Euros, which he’d written off angrily after hearing the news about the penalty, and then broadcast to everyone who would listen once ‘the little fucker had gone and done it’.

He came second to Casey, which angered him a lot for about as long as it took to remember that it was the last race of the season and the medal, for being World Champion, was going home with him, as already decided in Sepang, and he set off down the pit lane in search of the guy who’d been the best investment of the day.

*

“There’s someone here to see you.”

Marc looked up from his conversation with Santi, Dani and Jorge, the mechanic having proved a lot more fun this time round, and raised his eyebrows. “Ok?”

Emilio smiled at him and then held the door.

“Ciao.”

And Marc, smooth as anything, dropped his beer.

*

“Valentino Rossi.”

They were back in their hotel room, or rather on their hotel balcony, enjoying what had become a warm winter’s night, naked and wrapped in the duvet, smoking. End of the season so no judgments until Christmas had been Marc’s words.

“I mean…Valentino Rossi.” It was hours ago, but every time there was a gap in the conversation it went back to the Italian. “Valent-“

“YES.” Dani smiled at him again, thrilled but quite over it, and nodded. “I KNOW.”

“Sorry. It’s just…Valentino Rossi. He told me well done.”

“I know, baby. I know. You deserved it.” He listened to Marc mutter it one more time and then turned to him. “Ok, just promise me one thing?”

“Anything.”

It’s not serious, keep smiling. “In a few minutes, when we’re in bed and you’re about to have one of the best orgasms of your life…”

“I’M LISTENING.” He grinned at him, wide eyed and excited, waiting for the end of the sentence.

“PROMISE ME you’re not going to scream his name…”

The younger rider laughed and shook his head, completely in love with the look of humour peppered with slight genuine worry that he was seeing on Dani’s face. “I promise. I will be screaming your name and nobody else’s. Ever.”

And he didn’t, although he’d thought it could be funny. But funny wasn’t at the forefront of his mind once Dani’s tongue made it south of nipples.

*

“It’s raining.”

“I know. Go to sleep.”

“No.” Marc snuggled down next to him again and kissed him, smiling as Dani begrudgingly let that wake him up slightly. “That’s better.”

“What do you want?” He wasn’t doing a very good job of trying to pretend he was actually irritated. “This time?”

The younger rider poked him on the end of the nose and smiled. “This time? I want to dance with you.”

“Now?”

“Now.”

“But it’s-“

“It’s 3am and it’s raining. I want you to dance with me. On the balcony. In the rain.”

“Why.”

“Because I love you and I won my first race.”

Dani rolled his eyes and then rolled himself over and away from him, leaving it just enough time for him to hear Marc start to huff, before getting out the bed, picking him up, squealing not betraying the depth of his voice at all, and granting the wish.

“That’s quite a good reason.”

*

Marc had given in his notice the right amount of time before Valencia so that, when they’d arrived on Friday, he was officially free. He was heading to Jerez a few days after, too, so he probably would have been fired if he hadn’t. Dani hadn’t, yet, but it made no sense for him to give up work when they’d not yet decided when, where or how they were moving. And he was going to Jerez, although he’d had to use some serious puppy dog eyes on Alberto to be allowed the time off. They decided to drive down, that reminding them of that first trip, not that it had been voluntary, and the night when they’d gone from strangers to joined at the hip within the space of a few hours. In the entire time since then, they’d spent 4 nights apart. One, the first, when Alex had got in Marc’s bed. The second, the night before Marc moved into Dani’s house. He’d decided he wanted to say goodbye to his house, how he said hello to it: alone. The third when Marc had gone to visit Alex and missed the train back. The fourth was after another fight they’d had about going public, the first and last time so far they’d really yelled at each other, and cried, both of them, and Marc had completely terrified Dani by disappearing, drunk as hell, muttering about teaching him a lesson, which Dani had considered meaning cheating. Which he’d realised the next day was offensively ridiculous, because Marc had mainly gone for a long walk, ended up at a friend’s house, and fallen asleep in a hammock in their garden. Which no one remembered until an extremely bedraggled and hungry Marc Marquez knocked on the window and scared them to death. He had then gone home, they reached the same conclusion, and Dani cried again, slightly, outside on the terrace and out of sight. But they’d rebuilt the bridges, again, although he could feel it was getting to the point where nothing he could say would do anything to convince Marc he was right.

If I'm right. Maybe I’m wrong. Which gamble is bigger?

*

“Come and look at this.”

A hand traced his spine and made the whole, usually painful experience of waking up something a lot more peaceful. “What time is it.”

“Dawn. Almost. Come and look.”

Marc, Marc looking down at him, boxer shorts and tired eyes, but still full of energy. “Ok.” Dani blinked a few times and smiled as his face was cupped by a gentle hand, eyes looked into, lips shared. “Sunrise?”

“Sunrise.” He took him by the hand and out onto the balcony, wrapping them both in sheets against the cold, and pointed, one more cigarette, slowly finishing one of the previous day’s beers, but still fresh and awake, beyond tiredness. Too excited by the few days they’d had in Jerez, loving the track, the bike, the team, the Santi, the weather. And the deal.

“I wanted to share it with you.”

He squeezed Dani’s hand and smiled at him, eyes on fire, most probably the whole of him on fire.

“My first sunrise as a proper Moto2 rider.”

Chapter Text

“Are you coming to bed?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you always going to be distant if you have a bad race?”

Alex sighed and looked down off the balcony to where the rain was hitting the car park, a smile finally cracking through. I love you. “Sorry. It’s just frustrating when it’s the last race…”

“I know.”

He started to turn as her voice was suddenly a lot louder, then stopped as hands wrapped around his waist from behind, suddenly realising what he’d just thought. I love you. Oh my God.

“And you’re cold. It’s not shirtless weather.”

“I know.” I love you. I love you! The youngest Marquez put his hands over hers and squeezed, her head popping round under his arm and grinning up at him, that finally really making him smile and turn, wrapping her in a hug and pressing a kiss to the top of her head and rocking them side to side. “Sorry.”

“It’s ok.” Cheek to his chest, the words weren’t muffled but weren’t very clear either. “I’m used to it. I love how much you care.” Cough. “About racing. I love watching you out there, in the garage…everything. Mainly it’s just frustrating because I can’t help when you’re feeling like this.”

“You can help and you are helping. I’m sorry.” Another kiss. “And you love how much I care?” Do I say it? Do I dare? Would she reply?

“Yeah. I do.”

*

He hadn’t said it, and they’d gone to bed, both still slightly overwhelmed at how weirdly mature it felt to take off all their clothes and just get into bed. It wasn’t about sex (all the time), it was just wanting to feel closer. Even in November, when Alex insisted on having the air conditioning going despite the temperature being fine, forcing them to snuggle under the covers and up to each other.

“You did amazing today.”

“Hmm.” His lips hummed into her hair as his fingers brushed some from her forehead. “I did ok. Marc did amazing. Genuinely…just amazing.”

“Yeah. But Marc’s a few years ahead of you.”

“I know, I’m not jealous.” He smiled down at her and pressed a kiss against her hair. “Just figuring out when I’m going to catch him…”

Alicia laughed and poked him in the ribs. “That’s more like it.”

*

“CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!” They barrelled through the door almost at once, catching Marc in a pre-planned and violent hug, Dani almost dropping the bottle of wine in his hands at the sudden explosion across the room. “YOU’RE A MOTO2 RIDERRRRR!”

Marc grinned into the hug, rocking them from side to side and pressing a rough kiss onto his brother’s cheek, not repeating it on Alicia’s, aware that wasn’t a great idea, and then they all jumped up and down for a few seconds, like a private podium, noisy and, if they’d been anyone else, very annoying. Eventually Marc got free and gave Dani an extra hug, the smaller man poutingly left out, but only humorously, and the easy chatter of being around people you know well filled the house, food cooking, wine now open (although Dani was very bitter about having to ask Marc to open it, who was then in turn angered to find he had to pass it to his brother.) Alicia had a bandage on her left wrist which Dani asked about, the response being motocross accident which made them both remember lying to Alberto with the very same excuse, both bursting out laughing and the younger two staring at them. It’s just…something that happened. Sorry. Not you. Hope you’re ok. She was fine, and definitely more cheekily curious than offended by the laughter, and Marc kept opening his mouth to explain before finding his boyfriend looking at him pointedly, shaking his head. But they ate, then watched a movie, Marc and Dani on the sofa curled up, lying down, Alex with Alicia nestled against him in an armchair, so much taller than her, hand in her hair, all those nerves from when they’d met gone completely, knowing what she liked, what she didn’t, and vice versa.

“I think she’s asleep.”

Marc grinned at him across the room and pointed at Dani. “He’s definitely asleep. My shoulder’s getting drooled on.”

“Eww!”

“Shh!”

“Sorry.” Alex tried to contain the giggles, not move and wake her up, and stay quiet. “Can we stay here?”

“Yeah course. You need to leave early?”

“Nope. You?”

“Nope.”

They smiled at each other and went back to the film for a few minutes, before Marc turned back to him. “Alex?”

“Hmm?”

Those big brown eyes. Swap? “Have you told her?”

Those big brown eyes frowned at him, so full of puzzlement and innocence, constantly making Marc question how he was capable of being so lethally fast. “Told her?”

“That you love her.”

“Oh.” He swallowed nervously and looked away, back at the screen, hand absentmindedly playing a little tune on her arm. “No…”

“You’re going to?”

“Well…yeah…I guess…”

“You love her.”

“Yes.” No hesitancy that time. “I do.”

“Then tell her. Brotherly advice.”

“But what if she doesn’t-“

“She will.” Marc somehow managed a sip of beer without hauling Dani onto the floor, smiling back at him, smug and enjoying the flushed little cheeks of nervousness. “Promise.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

*

“Hey….wake up…”

“God, they’re so cute. Are we still that cute?” Marc pointed at his brother with his beer bottle and smiled at his boyfriend’s raised eyebrow.

“We’ll always be cute.”

“Good. Sure? Because…God look Dani. Just look.”

They watched Alex gently wake her up, Alicia’s eyes open, little stretch, the way they both got to their feet, setting off to go to bed. “Night, guys!”

“Night!”

They left it a couple of seconds before Dani carried on with the conversation.

“I know.”

“He’s got to tell her. I’ll kick his ass if he doesn’t tell her.”

“Tell her? That he loves her?”

“Exactly.” Marc nodded and whacked his cheek with a kiss. “You see, I didn’t even have to explain.”

*

“Are we daring to sleep naked?”

Alex shrugged and grinned. “Up to you. I don’t really care, but…up to you.”

“Maybe worth the risk.”

“Definitely worth the risk…” He grinned as her t shirt hit him on the face and then fell to the floor at his feet. “Definitely.”

“Ok. BUT…if it happens again-“

“It won’t happen again. Marc isn’t drunk enough. And Dani doesn’t wander around looking for stuff naked, even in his own house. Promise. He’s not as…free? As my brother…”

“Hmmm…” She locked eyes with him and grinned, hand on her bra clasp and loving the oh please please please expression on his face. “Ok.” The bra followed the t shirt in the attack and Alex looked down at them on the floor, then back at her, and crawled up the bed towards her.

“Better.”

“Better?”

“Yeah. Much, much better.” He dug himself under the covers with her and grinned as he was immediately relieved of his underwear, catching the eager hands and pulling them back up to in between them, locking his eyes on hers and taking a deep breath. “Wait.”

“Wa-“

“I need to tell you something.” He watched he flashes of fear, nerves and excitement duel with each other for a couple of seconds, realising it was probably just a reflection of what was happening on his own face, and nodded. “I just want to tell you, because it’s true.”

No. No way. She pressed a kiss to his lips and nodded, breath held. “Ok…” Please.

“Ok.” One more breath, hand finding hers and squeezing. “I love you.”

She stared back at him for a couple of seconds, trying to make sense of everything that hit her as the words did, and then nodded, pulling him in for a kiss, a proper kiss, and pushing him down into the bed. “I wondered if I’d ever hear that, or if we’d kind of get to 80 and you’d look across the porch at me and begrudgingly be all ‘you know I love you, right? Get me a drink!’”

Alex laughed at that, heart still hammering from the lack of concrete reply, and ran his hand down her back, feeling the skin shiver and the kiss attached to it get deeper.

“And I love you, too, Bambi.”

She replied. He smiled into the kiss, heart exploding, and then caught up with the nickname and growled at her in irritation, daring his hand to do it and laughing as the sound of the spank echoed back at him followed by a yelp, his bottom lip soon attacked and a very flushed, surprised and excited face stared back at him. “Álex?!”

“I’m not sorry…”

Her eyes widened for a second before she blushed and shifted slightly on top of him, making him moan up at her, and then shrugged, laughing at herself even as she felt the burn in her cheeks get deeper, whispering in his ear. “Me neither. Please, please do it again…”

*

Dani and Marc looked at each other, on the way to their bedroom, and stopped dead when they heard it.

“You th-“

“Yes, yes…keep going!”

The older man pulled Marc away from the door and locked them behind their own, both eyes wide, slightly embarrassed but also in stitches.

“Oh my God! ALEX. My baby brother. ALEX IS SPANKING SOMEONE. IN OUR HOUSE.”

“I would say it runs in the family…but sounds like they do it the other way round…” Dani looked up with puppy dog eyes as Marc’s widened, pout more than evident, and shrugged at him, unflinching.

“Don’t even try and-“

“I’m not.” The older rider whacked him on the ass on his way past to the wardrobe. “I don’t have to try.”

*

“Sleep well?”

Alex looked up at him, going red at even the thought of his brother having heard anything, and nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“Good.” Marc flashed him a bemused look and smirked down into his cereal. “Good, good..”

“Yeah, really good.”

“Really good. Wow.”

Don’t do this to me you bastard. “I, er…I took your advice…”

Marc’s eyes shot back up to meet his, wide. “What?!” I NEVER SAID SPANK HER.

Oh God he definitely heard. Cough. “I mean…I told her.”

“Oh!” The Marquez grin, squared. “And did she keep my promise for me?”

Alicia walked in just as Alex was about to reply, sitting down next to him and taking the spoon straight off him, having been already half way to his mouth, grinning and eating it. “Hey! Fuck off!”

“N-t srrrrry.” She swallowed and then grinned, eyebrows raised. “And love you, too. Pff. That didn’t last very long…”

Alex looked at Marc, who was looking back at him with a face that could only be described as glowing, and shrugged, knowing smile, as she starting pouring herself coffee at the counter, facing away from both of them. “Does that answer your question?”

“No.” The older brother grinned and did his utmost to not look at his brother’s girlfriend’s legs, something he’d would always slightly miss about being with a woman, noticing the visible handprint, pointing it out and watching his hermanito squirm. “If anything, that raises a lot more…”

Chapter Text

December 23rd

“Is Marc coming for Christmas?”

Alex looked up from the TV and smiled at his mother; hopeful, cringing and slightly puzzled at the same time. “Yeah, as far as I know..?”

“Ok. Just…it’s 4 o’clock. He’s usually here by-“

“I know, probably just running late. He’ll be here.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

And he was.

*

“Hi.”

Roser stood and stared at him for a second, unable to take in all the little changes in her son, who seemed 3 feet smaller. Eyes, tired. Clothes, rumpled. Smell, like a bar. Eye contact, non-existent. “Marc! You’re here.”

“Yeah, I’m here.” He gave her a cursory smile and then walked past her into the house, evading a hug, pulling Eva behind him. “Alex here?”

Yeah, who is this. “In the living room…” Cough. “Aren’t you going to introduce me? To…”

“Oh yeah. Sorry. Mum, Eva. Eva, my mother, Roser.”

“Nice to meet you.” She went for a hug and was reluctantly embraced in return. “So h-“

“I’m going for a cigarette.” Her son let go of Eva’s hand and disappeared from the hall, packet already out the pocket. “Make yourself at home.”

Roser took a deep breath and smiled hopefully at the new arrival, understanding evidently far behind the facts, remembering the warmth of the last time she'd seen her son, and the way his eyes had looked like they were alive. With Dani. “Like he said…” Rudely and distantly. “Make yourself at home.”

“Thanks.” She smiled at Roser, not reaching her eyes at all, and then followed Marc, leaving his mother stood in the hall wondering what the fuck was going on.

*

“Alex.”

“Hmm?”

“Can I talk to you for a second? In private?”

He frowned and nodded, following his mother out the room. “Yeah…”

“Ok. What the fuck is going on?”

What?! “What do you mean?”

“I mean, Marc’s brought somebody called Eva. And no mention of Dani.”

Alex’s eyes widened and he stared back. “He’s here?”

“Yeah, he’s here. Smoking outside with her. Did something happen?”

“Not that I know of.” The younger Marquez felt his heart start to hurt, a thousand scenarios running through his brain. “But I haven’t seen him for a while. Spoken to him, but…he did seem like he was…different…”

“Different as in…”

“Different as in…” He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “…I didn’t want to ask because I was really stressed as well.” And that was obviously a big mistake.

“But he didn’t say anything?”

“Nope.” But he wouldn’t.

*

Mid December

“So, what are you saying? That you’re not coming with me? Or what?” His voice was breaking, as though on the verge of tears although they were both already in them, and hands were shaking. “Dani?”

The older rider bit his lip and tried everything to speak steadily, try and make it seem like a smaller thing that it was. “I’m not saying I’m not going.” Please stop looking at me like that. “I’m saying…I’m not going to every race. I don’t want to raise sus-“

“SUSPICION. About what?! Hmm? Our dirty little secret?” Marc was absolutely blazing, hands in fists, tears running down his cheeks, shaking with the effort to stand still. “Hmm? That you fuck a man every night? That suspicion?!”

“It’s not the right time.”

The younger rider laughed bitterly at him, not knowing how else to let out the explosion happening in his chest. “You know what? I don’t think it will ever be the right time with you. This eternal fucking conversa-”

When you have a MotoGP bike. “It will. I just need-“

“And what about what I need?”

This is what you need. “I know, I’m s-“

“Yeah, you’ve been sorry a lot! But nothing’s fucking changed has it? I’m still the same idiot trying to believe you actually give a shit and you’re still the same coward trying to pretend you do.”

He made it from the center of the room to the door during the words, and then slammed the door to punctuate the point as Dani leant against the wall and slowly slid towards the floor. Please just-

*

December 23rd

“Hi. It’s me. Are you coming?”

“Yeah I’m sorry! I’m about 5 minutes away. Sorry if you were worried. Dani and Marc there?”

“Oh ok, good. I was worried! And well…Marc’s here. With the girl he used to let take advantage of him. I hate her. You’ll hate her. And there’s no Dani. I’m seriously worried.”

Alicia took a deep breath and cringed. Oh dear. “Right…ok…well hang in there, I’m on the way…”

“Ok. Love you. See you in a few minutes.”

*

“So…not going to explain?”

Marc looked up from where he was draped around her and frowned, air chilly, stance defending him from that or from his brother Alex wasn’t sure. “What?”

“What’s going on?”

“I came home for Christmas and I brought a friend.” The older brother looked away and blew some smoke above his head. “Simple.”

And you’re drunk and chain smoking, looking at me like I’m a stranger. “I see that. Where’s Dani?”

“Don’t know.” His eyes flashed through a split second of pain before hardening again as he turned away, shrugging. “Don’t care.”

Liar. "Liar."

Marc turned back to him, nostrils flared, eyes blazing, voice icy. "What?"

"You heard. What's going on?"

"Oh not much." The older brother smiled at him, a smile that made Alex feel cold to the core, and shrugged. "Just sometimes, you forget how fucked the world is and believe everything you hear. But it's ok now." He looked at Eva and pressed a sloppy kiss on her lips, looking back at his brother as if challenging him to do something about it. "I'm a straight Moto2 rider with a beautiful girlfriend. So everyone got what they wanted."

*

Mid December

“Don’t tell me that. Don’t tell me I don’t care.”

The Moto2 rider had returned a couple of hours later, now slightly drunk, still poised between rage and complete devastation, and the argument had carried on, more tears, more yelling, round and round in circles. “Well SHOW ME, Dani. SHOW ME that I’m more important than the track-“

I’M ALREADY SHOWING YOU. “You’re EVERYTHING, ok? EVERYTHING. I would do anyth-“

“NOT. TRUE.” Marc shrugged at him and raised his hands. “Not true, otherwise you fucking would! But no. ‘Sorry, I’m Dani. I’m a fucking coward. I lie to people so they think I love them and I break all my promises.’”

“That’s not true. Take that back.”

“No.”

“Take it back. I mean it. Fucking TAKE IT BACK. NOW!”

“NO! I’m not TAKING IT BACK because it’s fucking TRUE.” Up the stairs, bag in hand, throwing enough in it to survive, back to the front door. “Last chance, Dani. Either you go to Qatar as my boyfriend, or I’m going right now.”

3, 2, 1…

“Right. We are DONE.”

He made it to the bottom of the stairs before leaning on the wall and biting the back of his hand hard enough to draw blood, breakdown public, messy and loud, none of that registering with him at all, legs shakily carrying him down the hill, where eventually he found a door he recognised, banged on it, and burst into tears. He didn’t stop until he was being dragged to a bed and put in it, crumpling into a heap, nothing explained to anyone.

Done.

Chapter Text

What the fuck happened here.

Jorge was first on the scene, shoes crunching over broken glass, the room looking like an over-budget Hollywood staged version of an emotional breakdown, except this was real, and it was Dani’s house.

And that’s blood.

“DANI?!”

The door hadn’t been locked, and so, because the phone hadn’t been answered for days and the door hadn’t been opened, he’d gone in. And I’m glad I did.

He turned towards the kitchen, eyes wide, aware that Alex was probably right about the situation and screaming MARC probably wouldn’t be helpful, panic rising as he saw the state of the whole house. It looked like someone had fought the world and lost.

“DANI?”

Nothing.

“DANI? ANSWER ME IF YOU’RE HERE!”

The Mallorcan pulled his phone out of his pocket, not sure why or who he would call but seeming like something positive to do at least, and then froze as he heard a little cough coming from the kitchen. He ran around the counter and froze again, the smaller rider sat on the floor, jeans and a black t shirt, eyes bloodshot and teary, bottle of whiskey in one hand and cigarette lighter in the other. Overflowing ashtray between his legs, which were bent and letting him lean against the cupboard.

“Jesus.”

Dani didn’t seem that shocked to see him, or bothered about the state of himself or his house, and just looked up, shrugging, taking another swig from the bottle. “No, no Jesus. Not here anyway. Jesus left. Jesus left a while ago…” The words were slurred and messy, eyes unfocused. “Because Jesus didn’t believe me when I said I loved him.”

Jesus. “What happened?” Jorge lowered his voice and crouched down in front of him, eyes trying to find the younger man’s, only succeeding for a split second at a time, eventually reaching out and steadying his chin to look at him properly. “Dani? What happened?”

The smaller man pulled another cigarette out the packet and lit up, shrugging again, helpless, not really knowing where to start and not really knowing whether this was awake or not, or just another awkward and painful sleeping position translated into a dream reminding him.

The Mallorcan sighed, aware that this may take a while, and at least his friend looked in one piece on the outside, and sat down opposite him in the same position, taking an offered cigarette and running a hand over his shorter hair, the noise of the stubble reminding him this was real. You don’t get much luck with your heart, mate, do you.

“Ok. I’ll sit here, and we’ll have a smoke and a drink…and when you can, tell me what happened. Ok?”

The slightest nod came back at him, another swig of whiskey, and then some words, flat and sounding the furthest from the question they were.

“Ok. Am I awake.”

*

Alex had never seen him like it before. The one thing about Marc, the thing that set him apart, the thing that made people throw themselves or punches at him, the thing that made him Marc, was the energy and emotion crackling around him, like an aura. All the time. No off switch. But now, it was gone, and what was left was someone who wouldn’t look at you for too long when talking, someone cold who wouldn’t smile to defuse a situation or make someone feel good, or loved, or wanted, who wouldn’t laugh with you easily, who wouldn’t ask you anything or talk to you without needing either an answer or an explanation from you. Someone who was walking along taking what they needed and not paying attention to anyone else. He’d thought, at first, ok so this is bad, I need to make a moment. One of those moments, the brotherly moments, where one would look at the other in that way, too knowing, and the other would look back and know the game was up and everything would come tumbling out, and they’d sort through it and find an answer, or maybe just make themselves feel better, and it could be anything in the world, and it would be ok. Because it was Alex and Marc, and Alex and Marc could tell each other anything. But he’d had them, and he’d tried. He’d cornered him that first night, outside, shared a smoke, tried to poke away at the defences for long enough to make a crack, but nothing. So he’d tried again the next day, and again, and still got nothing. His brother just shut down as soon as he didn’t want to talk about it and then found a reason why he needed to be out of the situation. He didn’t care about anything. He didn’t thank his parents for the food, for the effort, for anything. Him and Eva fucked in his room, loudly, and he didn’t care about people hearing, he didn’t care about leaving their clothes everywhere, he didn’t care about burning a hole in his sheets with a cigarette. He smoked in his old room, he watched movies that he didn’t really watch, and he distracted himself with her. He didn’t respond to anything that wasn’t a direct question, he didn’t watch TV with the family, he just wandered around doing nothing, smoking or drinking or both, dragging that girl behind him like she was some sort of defensive talisman, like sleepwalking.

“Do you have any idea what happened?”

Alicia looked up and smiled as she saw Alex’s face hidden in the hood of his jacket, cute big brown eyes, both of them wrapped up in bundles of clothes so they could sit outside and get a bit of peace, despite the winter temperatures, and tugged at it to see her boyfriend better.

“Any idea?”

“No.” The Moto3 rider hugged her against him and sighed. “He’s not cracking. Nothing I say works.”

“I’m sorry. For him, and Dani. And you.”

“Me?”

“You. Not exactly nice, is it? He’s in pain, obviously, but he just doesn’t seem to care ab-“

“I know. Don’t.”

“Ok.” She nodded and kissed the chest of his jacket. “Sorry. So what do we try next?”

We. “I don’t know. Any ideas?”

“Pff. Not really…I mean…I guess first you need to figure out what happened…”

“So…call Dani.” I really didn’t want to have to do that.

“Worth a try.”

So he had tried to call Dani, but got no reply. And so, feeling very guilty about getting involved but equally worried enough about both his brother and his boyfriend, who’d become an important part of his life too, he called Jorge, who did answer.

"Sorry I meant to call you, I've been distracted. Is it bad?"

"Bad?"

"With Marc. How is he? It's not good on this side."

So something definitely happened that broke them both. Right. "Do you know what happened?"

*

He sat there for almost 40 minutes before it eventually started to come out, voice dead and distant, some words easily tripping off the tongue, others stuttered out.

“He left because I wouldn’t go to Qatar. Because I didn’t want to go public with him in the paddock. And you know and I know we talked and argued about it before. But this time he wasn’t going to listen and I guess I knew that but I tried.”

Then another few minutes and another cigarette.

“Because I don’t want him to be known for that. I want him to be known for his results. And he got into Moto2. That’s amazing.” The smaller man seemed to remember he was talking about Marc, Marc who’d dragged himself back up and kept going, Marc who’d dragged Dani back up and kept him going, and burst into tears, again. This time, Jorge moved sides of the kitchen and put his arm round him, taking his own shot from the bottle that was now in reach. “Amazing. He’s amazing. He’s just amazing.” He repeated it a few more times, Jorge gritting his teeth and closing his eyes, deep breaths to stop himself joining in with the tears. I’m so sorry. “And…I can’t change my mind. I can’t go and find him and make a grand gesture and sit outside his house all night in the rain. Because I won’t change my mind. Because he got this far and he’s going all the way and I’m not going to get in his way because I already got in my own way and look how that ended up. That’s not going to happen to him. He’s going to fucking do it. He’s going to do it. Right? He’s going to do it.”

The Mallorcan realised he actually needed a reply and was surprised by how his own voice sounded in the quiet of the house, hoarse from the smoke and the alcohol, and the mood. “He is going to do it.”

“He is. He’s going to do it.” Dani nodded to himself and then coughed and got unsteadily got to his feet, passing the bottle down to his friend and pointing at the stairs. “I’m going to the toilet.”

“Ok.” He watched him take a few steps, eventually judging the older man capable of staying on his own feet, then thought of something else. “Dani?”

“Yeah?”

“When’s the last time you ate?”

He frowned and seemed to think about it before giving up and shrugging, not interested. “Don’t know. Yesterday? What day is it?”

“Yesterday?”

“Yeah, yesterday. Thursday.”

Jorge bit his lip and nodded, signalling him to carry on and watching him go, before sighing and resting his head back on the cupboard door, getting to his feet after a second and opening the fridge to nothing.

Yesterday was Saturday.

Chapter Text

By the time Alex called him for the second time, at Christmas, Jorge had made some progress. Marc’s brother had spoken to him before, something about Marc not seeming very happy, but neither of them had imagined the scale of the situation or seen either of their friends until over a week after Marc had stormed out in tears. And both of them felt guilty as hell about it.

But the Mallorcan was taking it step by step and certainly making up for it. After Dani had returned from the bathroom on the day he’d arrived, he’d listened some more and had a fuller idea of the problem: it wasn’t something they actually disagreed about that had caused the split, it was that Dani would absolutely not risk Marc’s career for their relationship, even if that meant breaking two hearts in the process. And Jorge could understand that, although it made him feel incredibly frustrated, because he did at least agree with one thing: if Marc knew that, and knew Dani was actually fine being public, he wouldn’t keep it under wraps. He’d take the risk, every single time. And Dani knew, as Jorge knew, that that gamble was a lot bigger than the Moto2 rider wanted to believe it was.

Maybe if he’d been a Maverick Viñales or Pol Espargaró or any of the other riders on the grid who’d been tipped for greatness from day 1 and never hit by a truck, it wouldn’t have mattered. Because the paddock, or the sport in general, wasn’t an intrinsically homophobic place, it was just scared of image. And image was worth a gamble on for a proven quantity, but it might not be for this kid who’d disappeared and then come back, guns blazing, nobody knowing whether it was real or would suddenly disappear in another puff of unexplained smoke. If he wanted a MotoGP ride, he had to play the game and tick the boxes, then deal with the fallout. Which he wouldn’t.

Jorge also meant it when he promised Dani that he wouldn’t tell Marc a word of the truth, and Dani believed him. It made both of them think about the first time they’d really realised that neither of them were idiots – Jorge had seen Dani kissing a boy behind a bar, years ago, and the smaller rider had spent the next few days after gritting his teeth, waiting for the insults, waiting for everyone in the town to find out, but they never did. It was never mentioned. It was strike one in favour of Jorge Lorenzo possibly not being a complete idiot. And he’d had to trust him then, but he was choosing to trust him now, and it helped. Getting it out helped, so that at least someone who seemed to have understood how much he loved Marc before still believed it to be true. Someone outside of himself to validate it, to nod and understand and say I believe you.

And Jorge didn’t tell Alex the whole story. He told him the version Marc thought was the truth, trying to stay neutral but put positive spin on everything, so that the person talking to Marc didn’t just tell the younger rider what he thought he already knew. He left it at that, and they agreed to keep in touch about progress, which by all accounts had been more needed on Dani’s side at the start but was at least now being made by him, whereas Marc’s side was the same as the first moment: he’d just shut himself down completely and wouldn’t be cracked.

So after the information gathering came the hard part: getting Dani to pick himself up, even slightly. So the Mallorcan ordered a big pile of pizza and pretty much sat and forced him to eat it, like a strangely luxurious hostage situation, and then made him get in the shower and start trying to feel alive, at least on the outside. Once he was in the shower, Jorge took the opportunity to clear up some of the mess downstairs, at least managing to throw away rubbish, tidy the sofas, undo the curtains and get rid of the broken glass, putting various plates and glasses and mugs in the sink to soak, realizing that meant that at first at least, he’d kind of carried on on his own, and that the point at which he’d ended up half comatose on the kitchen floor smoking and drinking himself to death had come a few days after Marc had left.

When he reappeared, he didn’t really seem to notice the difference, but Jorge at least got him onto the terrace, sun blazing though the air was the cold winter chill it should have been, and gave the house a chance to air out some of the smoke and whiskey that had started to seem like it was seeping out the walls.

Jorge was meant to be having his sister and his mother over on Christmas Day, but in the end, and after asking Dani a million times to come and being refused, he cancelled. The smaller rider then got really upset that he’d caused that to happen, so Jorge changed the plan and they reached a compromise, a compromise that at least meant they wouldn’t be sat there drinking all day, alone, since the Mallorcan refused to accept that leaving Dani was an option. So Jorge’s family, or half of it, got the new address for the meal, and Jorge called the catering company he’d organized (even for 3 people in an apartment in Barcelona, he was never going to pull off any culinary successes) and got them redirected. And that seemed to help, because Dani knew them, enough to feel at home, or something like it, in his own home, and from the emotional speech Jorge got on the terrace once they’d gone and it was just the two friends again, it had been a very appreciated gesture.

The only two things left they hadn’t talked about were work, which Dani would have to go back to in a few days, and the fact that Jorge couldn’t just live up there washing the same boxer shorts every day to eternity. So he tried one topic; the most important one.

“So…you going back to work soon?”

Dani had obviously been dozing on the sofa and woke up with a start, the Mallorcan laughing at him slightly and noticing, miraculously, the hint of a smile in return. “I guess I have to.”

“You think you can?”

Dani nodded and shrugged. “Not much choice. And I went, before. I went the day after. I went for 3 days after. Then I finished for Christmas…”

And you were alone with no focus and that’s what caused the state I found you in. Right. “Ok, that’s ok then. Because…I do at least need to go home and fetch some stuff. Because I don’t think you’re ready for me to leave yet, right?”

The older man shook his head, words very quiet. “No. Please.”

“That’s ok. Not a problem. I work for myself, and I can do a lot of that from here. Now…” If you don’t try, you don’t know. “It’s a really nice day today. I think we should go and do something.”

“Go and do something?”

“Anything. Out the house. Mountain biking. Go for a ride. Crazy golf. Go and have a meal…or even just go and buy some food and stuff.”

He seemed to consider it for a few seconds, Jorge expecting a steadfast no, and then nodded. “Food shopping. Ok. In a few minutes.”

Wow. Ok. “Ok. Great.” He’d had a few moments of surprise at progress lately, expecting a no or for Dani to burst into tears, when actually he’d seemed to think long and hard and then nod. The younger man was trying to figure out when that had started happening, wondering if there’d been a trigger, but couldn’t remember anything. Dani remembered perfectly well though, and the words so easily forgotten by his friend had become a sort of mantra every time he wanted to just crawl into bed and cry.

If you love him, you can’t give up. What if there’s a chance? If there is, you have to be ready to take it, not cry about it.

The words had been said in a flurry of frustration after Jorge had woken up later than him and found him drinking his breakfast, again, on the kitchen floor, again, but they’d hit a nerve. A good nerve. A nerve capable of zapping his brain with the power necessary to understand the words were true.

If you love him, you can’t give up.

Chapter Text

Alex wasn’t making any progress. Every time he tried to talk to him, bring it up, send him a message or call him, it was having the opposite effect, as though each new outreach was an attack and a new brick was added to the wall around him. Like the Berlin Wall, it had started as a fence and had steadily grown to a strip of no man’s land cordoned off by high barriers, guarded by tanks and turrets on shoot to kill orders.

Christmas he stayed the same before he left the way he’d arrived, pile of mess in his wake, and disappeared back wherever he had come from. Because that much was clear: he wasn’t living with Dani anymore, so who knew where he’d ended up. Probably with her. Since he’s not spent a second away from her.

Every day hurt, at first, because Alex wanted so desperately to help and he was being summarily pushed away at every opportunity. By the time it was two weeks, some of that hurt had turned into anger, and try as he might, he found the same look from Marc’s face starting to appear on his own as soon as his brother was around him. Broken hearted or not, disagreeing with Dani or not, this wasn’t how it was supposed to work. They were supposed to be there for each other and be able to talk to each other about everything, but apparently that rule book had been burnt at the same time as the bridges.

So by the time they were sharing a test day in Almería, they travelled down together with Eva and Alicia, hardly saying a word and going their separate ways immediately. Alex had a good test, ending up in the top 5 every session, and Marc had a great test. The cold, uncaring façade of life off track translated into a lethal combination of unemotional focus and single-mindedness that, combined with his black and orange livery, already had people looking behind them and feeling a shiver of fear when they saw the 93 looming large. Everybody noticed the change in him, and because of the Marquez Cold War, Alex didn’t have chance to explain, or didn’t attempt.

“No Dani?”

“No.”

Marc didn’t even look at his manager, just shook his head and walked off, sitting behind the garage and staring off into space, smoking a cigarette that Emilio had warned him was a bad fucking idea, same stony faced expression, just waiting to get back on the bike again, nothing else worth the effort.

Oh.

*

After the last test, Emilio cornered Alex, who made an executive decision that he was going to tell the manager the truth, because nothing else seemed to work, and took a deep breath, feeling relief and guilt in equal measure.

“Yeah, something happened. It’s…I have no right to tell you. But I’m going to tell you because I trust you and I don’t know what else to do, or who else stands a chance of getting through to him. Ok?”

“Ok. But I think I know what you’re going to say.”

“Really?!”

Yes, kid. It was obvious the second they looked at each other. “Marc’s gay. Or, given that girl he’s got around now, Marc’s bisexual . Dani was Marc’s boyfriend. Or...Dani and Marc were in love.”

Alex gulped and stared back at him. Oh. “Y-yeah.”

“It’s ok. I don’t care. No one in the team w-“

“Don’t tell them!”

The older man smiled at him and shook his head, something about it making Alex relax completely, trust invested correctly. “I won’t, but they wouldn’t care. But I think we should keep that quiet. Thinking about the future, about MotoGP...for a while longer-“

“Well…that’s why they split up. Dani wanted it to be private.”

"Oh." Oh dear. "Right. Marc wanted to go public?"

"Yeah. Marc wanted to go public. Marc told him either he was there in Qatar as his boyfriend or they were done."

"Right. So that's what's changed?"

"Yup. And I can't get through to him. Nothing. Normally..." The younger man sighed and trailed off, shrugging and looking away. "Normally we kind of get to a point where it all comes out. He tells me, I tell him...we deal with it together. But I make it worse every time I try. It's like he's been replaced by a lookalike robot." His voice was getting unsteady now, and he took another breath and coughed slightly to cover it, not fooling anyone. "And I hate it. And it's making me feel so...angry. At him. And Dani. And everything. Because they had it so right..."

"I understand." Something in his tone made it clear that he actually did, and Alex found himself wrapped in a welcome but slightly awkward hug. "He's obviously decided that feeling nothing is better than...however it felt before he decided that."

"Hmm."

"So...Dani didn't want to go public?"

"No." Alex shook his head and sighed again, both of their eyes following Marc as he walked across the paddock towards them. "He didn't think it was the right time."

"For himself? Or Marc?"

Alex looked back at him and frowned. "Er...is there a difference?"

"Yeah." Emilio nodded and then said the last word on it before Marc reached them. "It makes a big difference."

*

The weeks for Alex passed as they had before: training, now mostly alone, and spending time with Alicia, waiting for the start of the season, which seemed to creep up on them and then suddenly jump out, the shock and fear similar to if that's exactly what had happened, and somehow before they'd blinked, they'd gone from having no food in their house, living together, dreaming, to actually lining up in the World Championship. Jorge had needed no persuading to go full on into the idea of a Moto3 team in the World Championship, and Alex got the ride. So they caught the plane together, Alex and Alicia, Marc and Eva, and Jorge. And Emilio and Santi and the team. And the older guys evidently hated his brother's girlfriend with a passion. But she was Marc's umbrella girl, and she was pretty enough on the outside, and she did what Alex knew Marc had her around for: she shouted this guy is straight and he fucks me good as loudly as the pink lipstick she seemed to think suited her. And that message, yelled like that on TV at the start of every race, was meant for one person and one person alone: Dani. And Alex hated that, too, and hated his brother for doing it. Hated him for such a designed, fake ploy of trying to make Dani jealous, and the fact that he wouldn't admit it, and the way he looked at her. Obvious to everyone around them except her that he didn't give a shit at all. But she either didn't realise or didn't care, something Alex raised with his brother on the plane when she was in the bathroom, and got an insolent shrug and grin in return. "She doesn't care. I'm a Moto2 rider."

"That's all that matters, is it?"

"For her, yeah. And now everyone can see I'm a straight Moto2 rider, too. So everyone's happy."

And Alex couldn't let that one go. "Yeah, I'm so happy. I'm happy that my brother, my hero, the guy who invested in me to the point where he let nothing else matter, the guy who I depended on for years, who never let me down, that guy? He's sat here like he doesn't care about me anymore. Sat here thinking he's fooling everyone, when really we're all just waiting for him to come back. Because he must have died." He spat that word across the aisle towards his brother and watched him flinch, deflecting it, nothing much betrayed, which was almost worse than if it had visibly hurt. "He must have died in that crash, because he's not here anymore."

*

Alex came 6th in his proper debut. It was a good race with some good battles, and he did himself and the hype around him proud, especially given the sand and the circuit conditions, the lesser grip that someone had for some reason decided was a good place to start the championship, and the look on Alicia's face was something he'd remember forever. He'd needed that, to see that pride and belief on someone's face, because he used to get that from Marc. And Marc didn't even show up in the garage to say well done.

The younger Marquez watched his brother's race in his own garage, with Jorge and his girlfriend, and gritted his teeth as Marc sat there on pole position, Eva stood there posing, in her element, not the kind of innocent prettiness of the other grid girls, although that he didn't really understand that either now he had Alicia. He watched the show like that, fuming silently at his brother and the whole situation, and at her, and everything he remembered from before, the way she'd treated him, the way even then she'd worn away some of his warmth and replaced it by doubt, the way she looked at him, like she was looking at something delicious rather than a human being. And the lights went out, and Marc made a bad start, as always, and then spent the race playing catch up, doing a good job of it, and then ending in a spectacular floodlit highside in a pile in the gravel. He was moving, he was ok, and he went back to his box.

And then he disappeared back to Spain on a different flight after a text that just said Well done, bro. Good ride. See you in Texas.

It was a pattern that repeated in America, too, although not floodlit. Massive crash after a massive amount of expectation. Alex came 5th at COTA. And got the same Well done, good ride. See you in Jerez if you want to travel with us? :)

That was absolutely it for Alex, and he spent the night in his hotel room going insane, then spent what was by then the early morning getting drunk with the help of the of-age Mallorcan who was yes, his sponsor, and also Dani's spy, and ended up in a heap sobbing into Alicia's shoulder as the sun came up behind them, needing to let it all out before trying to rein it back in. Because in Jerez, it wasn't going to be like that. If he had to yell and cry and shake him, even physically smash him in the face until he broke through the wall, he was going to do it.

And Dani had a wildcard.

Chapter Text

That ray of hope that Jorge had inadvertently given him seemed to grow every day. He went back to work, he didn’t cry, and he even managed to explain to Alberto and the new girl – who was beautiful and funny and had an amazing sense of humour – the ultimate combination that Dani would have usually been dying for – what had happened, although a less detailed version. Marc had moved out. No he hadn’t seen him. Yes he fetched his stuff withouthim there. No, he wasn’t sure where he was, yes, he missed him, no, no one had cheated, yes, he’d do anything to get him back. No, they hadn’t gone to Cervera over the holidays as they’d planned.

“Why Cervera?” A puzzled Jorge had asked.

“It’s…symbolic. Not very exotic…but we had lunch there on the way back from that trip. The one where everything changed. So we were going to go there…” And I was going to ask him to marry me… “…and take a break. I guess we thought of it as ‘our place’.”

It hurt like hell. He still cried in private. Often. He now smoked too much, and he did sometimes get home from work and sit on the kitchen floor with his new best friend Mr Jack Daniels, or when he was busy, Mr Jim Beam. But he was coping, and he had started to feel a new fire in his belly to achieve that had somehow been born from the whole situation. Because he was right, and he had to accept responsibility for the state of affairs. He would do it again the same way if he had to: Marc was going to get to MotoGP and that was non-negotiable. And if he ever wanted to be able to get down on one knee in front of the love of his life and ask that question, he had to be man Marc would say yes to.

First, that meant stopping drinking as a crutch rather than for occasional fun. And that was worryingly harder than he expected. So he smoked a bit more and replaced it with coffee, and that meant he couldn’t sleep. So he went back to the drawing board on that and replaced it with decaf after midday, that helping a lot, and made a rule that, week by week, he would smoke a pack less, until by the final week, before the start of his season, he smoked 3 cigarettes all week. Back to normal.

The other two big changes were in training: both kinds. He rode to work on his mountain bike, he joined a gym, and he went for a jog at sunset every night he could when he wasn’t at work, running a route him and Marc had run a few times together, the memory now less painful and more encouraging, every time he ran it cutting a few seconds off his record. And he kept those records written on the fridge.

The guys who owned the dirt track in Rufea knew him, now, and he went there every opportunity he could find. He saw Alex there a couple of times, but never Marc, because he made sure to find out beforehand whether the other rider would be there or not. And he got good. Sometime in the few days before the Marquez brothers’ first race in Qatar, he broke Marc’s record. And they nailed that up in reception, ignoring Dani’s protestations, and so the next time Marc walked in all he’d see was his name replaced by Dani Pedrosa. Dani didn’t know if that reminder would be terrible or prove a tipping point.

He was fast, and he was fit. He went to the city to see Jorge, and stayed down there. He even hooked up with a couple of girls. He looked like he was 10 years younger than the mess Jorge had found on the kitchen floor, and his t shirt sleeves now fitted tightly around his biceps. When Alex saw him for the first time again in civilian clothes, he’d stood and stared for a full 3 seconds.

“Holy shit, Dani! You look like a machine.”

“I know.” He smiled back and nodded, happy that the difference was visible. “I’m channeling my energy into something positive.”

“To get him back?” The way he said it made it sound possible.

“I’d do anything.” Be honest. “Jorge said something that I think is very true, when I was sat in a pile of broken glass on my kitchen floor. He said, basically, that giving up made it even less likely that we’d ever get back together. So that’s my mission: become the man I want to be, and the man he deserves.”

Alex had attacked him in a hug and vastly annoyed him by ruffling his hair. “I love you, Dani. I want you back in my family.”

He’d been updated on Marc by his brother occasionally and Jorge often. It didn’t sound good. It sounded horrible, but as much as it broke his heart all over again, Alex had confided the one thing that quashed all the doubts that usually hit him sometime after midnight: Emilio thought he might be right. And that, to Dani, was like a golden seal, because the 1999 125cc World Champion knew his stuff, and he knew his market. And he knew his rider.

He watched the two races before his wildcard in Jerez, and he lived every moment along with Marc, although it didn’t look like Marc was really alive at all. He almost seemed to wake up in pain after watching his lover crash, like he felt it too, and he gritted his teeth as he watched him on the grid with his best attempt at making him jealous. But he wasn’t jealous, he just didn’t like watching Marc lie or be in pain. Watching the way Marc was completely ruined him, but watching him with her made no difference whatsoever. He could fuck his way around the world twice over and Dani wouldn’t be hurt more by that than by his absence, because that’s all it would be. Just fucking. Marc’s chosen crutch. Along with, if the Sideways Glance at COTA was to be believed, cigarettes and a lack of sense of humour.

Dani won the two amateur races he took part in before his wildcard. Jorge sorted it out – he sat down with Emilio after being quizzed more about Dani by the manager, and they’d both suggested the same thing for the same reasons: Dani should ride in Jerez. A) Because he was obviously more than good enough, and it made enough sense like that without having ulterior motives. But B) Marc seemingly couldn’t finish a race with the state he was in. He could go very, very fast for short periods of time – record breakingly fast, as the circuit Moto2 record at COTA and Qatar, race and qualifying, proved - but it was almost as though the moment was visible on track, the moment where something made him wake up and everything hit him. In both races, the laps were quicker and quicker until bang, he was off. Like he could control himself absolutely all the time, maintain the emotional shutdown, but something about being on the bike took too much energy away from that, and he crashed. Which he would never admit, but that’s what Alex, Emilio and Jorge thought. And Dani. And they were right. That’s why Marc disappeared home – because his grip was slipping, not because he didn't care.

So Dani had a wildcard, he looked incredibly good, and he had everyone on his side. Except the person he so desperately needed.

But, it was a long term project.

Chapter Text

He must have died.

That’s all he could really remember from the whole weekend. Alex looking at him like that, how his own face must have looked looking back at for him to have felt the need to repeat it. And it hurt. It hurt a lot. Everything hurt a lot, except for on the track. In practices and qualifying, anyway. That was peace. The rest of the time was just walking around pretending it wasn’t happening, which had started the second he woke up the day after he’d walked out and had become the only way he could get up in the morning, since. But he kept crashing. Well, he’d crashed twice. But for the same reason, because he kept losing control of it, and then soon after, the bike.

But what is the alternative?

He’d been tempted, after Texas, to just go and knock on Alex’s door and cry. But his biggest fear in the world, other than not actually ending up with Dani, was doing that. Because he was damn sure he wouldn’t be able to stop. Not being overly dramatic, he honestly couldn’t imagine letting himself go and ever being able to get himself back.

But something had to change, and he did, at least, wake up with a tiny bit more sense in the few days before Jerez. He was looking forward to and dreading his first full-time home race in equal measure, and that showed, because he suddenly woke up and looked across the pillow and sat bolt upright, hands clammy and breath catching, screaming what am I doing?!, unblinded for the first time in a long time, at least about one thing. He got up, made himself a coffee, had a smoke, and then packed up his stuff. She didn’t wake up until he was going back upstairs to face it, ready to go.

“I’m going. To Jerez. Now.”

“What?!”

“I’m going to Jerez now. I’m setting off.”

“Well just wait a few m-“

“No, you don’t understand. I’m going to Jerez. Alone. You’re not coming. I’ve packed up my stuff.”

“What the f-“

“Eva. You don’t love me, you love my money and my job. Again. Like before. And like before, I decided I’d ignore it because you let me forget everything. But I’m done being a fucking idiot. Bye. This time, forever.”

He didn’t really feel much driving away, until he was south of Valencia and his left arm, resting out the car window, was burning in the sun and the radio was annoying him every five minutes, playing songs that either meant something to him or had too much sense in them for him to ignore. And then he started to feel it. Not like he was being switched back on and suddenly flooded with everything, like those moments in the races, more like he just seemed to feel smaller and smaller with each passing kilometre, until he actually had to pull over and take five minutes to sit and shake, Coke in one hand and cigarette in the other, waiting to be able to carry on.

He got to Cádiz well after dark, checked into a hotel, and stared at the ceiling, all night.

And then dreamt about Dani, for the first time in a long time. And for the first time since they’d split up, he woke up in tears. It didn’t last long, and he reined it all back in again, but it did make him realise why he’d suddenly felt so desperate to leave his town: he was terrified of seeing him. Terrified of what would happen.

But now, at least, I can relax.

*

He amused himself for the two days before the race in Cádiz, doing things he knew his manager would shoot him for, aka drinking and dancing and smoking, and fucking. Guys. Which he didn’t realise how much he’d missed until he was bent over his hotel bed, hand roughly grabbing his hair, growling like he’d forgotten he could. And it did something. It turned something back on, and his manager noticed it straight away when he walked in on Friday morning and smiled. Not a Marc Marquez smile, not at all. But the tiniest hint of something human still being in there. And he was slightly sore.

He noticed the reaction. That’s what everyone around him didn’t seem to realise: he may be shut off, but he wasn’t stupid. He noticed everything, even more than before. Noticed the comfortable way Alex and Alicia were with each other, noticed how Jorge and Alex seemed to really get on, noticed how Emilio looked at him as though he was a complicated equation, noticed how Jorge hadn’t once mentioned what had happened between him and Dani, or tried to talk to him about it. Noticed how everyone seemed to be scared of him and know exactly what was going on. He didn’t like it, but he couldn’t much help it.

*

“You didn’t tell me.” His voice was shaking, hands shaking, most of him shaking as he walked back into the garage after seeing the screen. “You didn’t TELL me.”

“Tell you wh-“

“YOU KNOW WHAT.” He was yelling now, still shaking, and didn’t care about the scene, about the cameras he knew could be catching it. It was FP1 about to start, the name Pedrosa etched in black and white on the list. “Why didn’t you fucking TELL ME?!”

“Ok. Because we didn’t want you to not show up-“

"NOBODY TOLD ME. I just...I can't...I...you didn't TELL me." He sniffed and tried to take a breath, shock giving way to something worse. "So you didn’t tell me.” Tiny voice now, eyes trained on the floor, feeling it hit him. “You didn’t tell me. You didn’t tell me that he’d be here. You didn’t tell me that the love of my li-”

“Honestly, I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to-”

“ANYTHING, Emilio. ANYTHING. Because LOOK.” He held out his hand, which was shaking even more than the rest of him, and locked eyes with his manager. “I could have crash-“

“We would have told you bef-“

He shook his head to cut him off, flipping down his visor as tears started to appear, and stalked out the back of the garage, feet not stopping until he was locked away in private, in the toilet as it ended up, pulling off his helmet and staring at himself in the mirror as he felt it start to crumble. Months of effort, and now it was finally all starting to fall in a complete lanslide of everything. He stood there, staring, trying to fight it back, for at least 2 full minutes before a knock at the door.

“Marc.”

“Go away.”

“It’s me.”

“I know. Go away.”

Alex sighed and tried again. “I’ll call someone and say there’s been an emergency to get the door open, if I have to. I’ve had enough. Open the fucking door, now. I mean it.”

“Just fuck off and leave me alone.”

“Tried that and it hasn’t worked. Let me in.”

“No.”

“I mean it. I’ll call someone.”

“If people lock themselves in somewhere it’s probably because they want to be left alone. They aren’t going to open the d-“

“They will, because I’ll say anything. I’ll lie. What would work best? ‘I think my brother’s feeling suicidal’. That would work. No one’s going to take that risk-“

“FUCK. OFF.”

“Would that even be a lie?” Alex wasn’t interested in whatever came back at him, he was interested in getting the door open. “Or is that what’s happening?”

“Alex. Please.” His voice hardly even carried through the door this time. “Please, please just leave me alone.”

“I’ll give you a minute by my watch. Then I’m calling someone, and telling them that. Whether it’s the truth or not.”

Marc locked eyes with himself in the mirror, tears on his cheeks, and bit his lip as he looked down into the sink and felt his shoulders start to shake, properly, everything caving in, mind going blank and supercharged at the same time. He knew he could probably be heard outside and was only just about able to flick the lock open before crumpling to the floor in a pile of leather and logos, vaguely aware of the blue EG leathers appearing next to him, the arms going round him and holding him up, the voice whispering in his ear as he let go. Because Alex. Alex is here.

“Nobody told me. Nobody told me. Nobo-”

“I know, I know.” His brother readjusted their position on the floor and kicked the door shut, locking it again and holding onto the crying mess in his arms. “I know, nobody told you.”

“Why did nob-“

“Because we knew this would happen.” He felt his chest constrict as the sobbing got louder, Marc’s shoulders heaving with the effort and making them both move, feeling a strange mixture of pain and hope. And it had to. “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.”

*

He missed FP1. He couldn’t go back to the garage knowing Dani was around, that much he’d yelled at his brother when he’d suggested it. But not like before. Not because he didn’t care how he spoke to him, only because the thought of it made him panic so much he couldn’t control the volume of his voice. They sat on the floor of the toilet for 40 minutes, Marc just crying and crying and crying, Alex sometimes joining in because he didn’t know how to stop it or help him, until eventually he went quiet and still for a few minutes and then slowly sat up, blinking, like he was coming round from an anaesthetic, voice quiet.

“What am I going to do?”

The way he looked at him made Alex’s eyes well up again. I missed you. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t think I can ride.”

“You can.”

“I don’t…I don’t know. I…” He trailed off and took a few deep breaths, trying to stay calm, before bursting into tears again and grabbing back on to his brother for dear life. “Thank you for making me open the door. I didn’t die. What you said before. On the plane. I didn’t die. I promise. I’m here I’m still here and I didn’t d-”

“Shhh, shh, shh.” Alex pressed his lips against his head and took a few breaths himself, grabbing onto him in return. “I know, I know. And we’ll get there.” He left him to get some more of it out for a few minutes before Marc could talk again.

“But how. How am I going to get there. How am I going to-”

“We’ll get there. Because we’ve done it before. You’ve done it before.”

“I don’t th-“

“I know. I don’t think you can, I know you can. Because you’re my brother and you can do anything.” Alex bit his bottom lip as he looked down, smiling hopefully, expecting to see a face covered in tears and desolation, and instead saw Marc’s bottom lip wobbling but his eyes blazing, something finally getting through . “See?” He could feel the damp on his cheeks and smiled back. “You can smile. You can do this. You can do anything. That’s why you’re my hero.”

You need to stop saying that. “I don’t des-“

“You let me in. That's enough for today.”

Marc nodded slowly and took a deep breath before pulling himself to his feet, staring in the mirror again and taking in big gulps of air, wiping his face with some toilet paper and then flushing it, shaky and unsure but at least on his own two feet. I can do this. Can I? “I didn’t die.” Really?

“No, you didn’t die. Then, or now. And I don’t know the details of everything that happened, but I do know one thing: If you did die, he would switch places with you.” The younger brother clicked the lock open and kicked the door slightly, letting in the natural light and looking back at his brother. “Then, or today.”

He held his gaze for a few seconds before mutely following him back out into the sunlight, trying to take that in, trying to take everything in, lighting a cigarette and sitting next to his brother in a silence that hadn't been that comfortable for months. Taking it in. Not pushing it away. "Really?"

Alex looked away to their left and watched the man in question walk away in the distance, gaze meeting his for a split second, something communicated. "Yes. Really."

Marc coughed and then seemed to catch sight of the same thing, taking a sharp breath and then looking the other way, hand shaking again. "M-..." Another cough, and another drag. "M-me t-too."

"I know." He patted his leg and wrapped his arm round his shoulders. "And I think he knows."

Chapter Text

“Hi.”

Surely he can see my heart whacking against my t shirt. And hear it. And feel the earth shaking as much as me.

Deep breath. “H-hi.”

*

Emilio wasn’t exactly happy about the situation, but he knew it would be almost murderous to force Marc to go out on track the mood he was in. So, after FP1 had been lost to emotional breakdowns, he just left it in his rider’s hands: you know what’s a good idea and what isn’t and you’re just as motivated as me for us to get a win. So we’ll be here until Saturday night before I ask you for a decision about the race. If you show up before qualifying, I’ll see it as a bonus. Ok?

Marc had almost started to cry again at that, looking up at him in the way he imagined he’d looked up at a lot of people recently, never having expected understanding instead of derision. It hadn’t seemed to have sunk into the young rider’s consciousness that someone who won a race from 33rd in the wet as a wildcard was worth investing in. But more than that, he deserved it. So his manager told him that.

“Marc?”

“Yeah?” He turned back as though expecting him to have changed his mind, eyes round and fearful again.

“You know, I wouldn’t have given you the ride if you weren’t worth it. And if you’re worth the ride, you’re worth a lot more, too. Ok? You’ve proven more than what most people do in their entire lives before you even turned 21, and that wasn’t even on a bike. We’ve got a long way to go, and when you’re a World Champion, nobody is going to talk about that Moto2 race in Jerez you didn’t take part in.” He nodded at him and then smiled, eyes shining. “Well…maybe they will this year…”

This year. When I’m World Champion THIS year?! “What?!”

“Look, if you hadn’t fallen off in those first two races, you would have won them. Everybody knows that. But something got in the way, like this weekend. Once we get rid of what’s in the way, you’re going to start winning. And no, I wouldn’t be surprised to see you crowned champion. So let’s deal with the problem now so we can move on from it. Ok?”

Do you mean Dani is the problem? Because-

Emilio read that perfectly and shook his head. “I don’t mean Dani. You don’t have to move on from Dani, if anything, that’s the problem, because you’re trying to.”

Marc nodded at him, words ticking through his brain, and then took a deep breath. “You know.”

“That Dani is or was your boyfriend?”

“Y-yeah.” His heart was hammering trying to read the expression on his manager’s face, caught between ignoring the obvious or being too accurate, he wasn’t sure. “Was.”

“Ah. Well…ok. Ok. If you want to talk to me, I’m here.”

“Thank you.” He’d already pulled him into a hug before his brain figured out if that was appropriate or not, then walked off blushing slightly, headed back to the hotel to think. Emilio thought it was appropriate enough to actually go and find Alex and tell him: he let himself feel before he thought about it.

Alex was 4th in FP2 and followed his brother back to the hotel, waiting for the final verdict and to judge the state of him and whether he should be talked out of it.

*

Friday News: Moto2: Marquez withdraws from home race citing ‘personal issues’

Moto2 race winner and championship newcomer Marc Marquez has withdrawn from this weekend’s Gran Premio bwin de España after missing Friday due to a personal issue. His manager Emilio Alzamora says it’s ‘nothing to worry about in the long term’ and that his rider and the CatalunyaCaixa Repsol Moto2 team will be back in action with Marquez in Le Mans.

We wish him a speedy recovery and hope to see him back on the grid in France.

*

It was a long afternoon. Alex was free for the day, and Marc was eternally grateful for that fact. As the clock ticked down and down towards him needing to be back in the pits if he was going to go for it, he could feel it getting harder and harder to breathe, everything coming back, too much all at once, both too painful and too dangerous to deal with on a bike at high speed. Which was different and, in a way, Alex thought, positive compared to before. Numb is gone, but now that means it might be even harder for a while.

So the team sent out the press release after telling Emilio, who accepted it without much said, and then watched movies and talked, Alex concentrating hard on his brother’s mood and navigating them through the hours. It was 9pm before they ended up talking about Dani for the first time since the morning, the younger brother daring to mention it.

“Dani was fast.”

“Hmm?”

“In practice. He was 11th this morning and 9th this afternoon.”

“Really?!”

That. That is what I was hoping for. “Yeah, really.” Marc was responding to it being happy for his ex and proud, rather than just bursting into tears, and that gave his brother the courage to carry on, into the realm of what he’d been talking to Jorge about. “Everyone’s very impressed.”

“That’s amazing. I’m not surprised.”

“Didn’t want to see it?”

“No.”

Ok. Ok, that’s definitive. He left it a few seconds then dived in. “Do you want to see him?”

*

“Marc’s withdrawn from the race.” Jorge held up his phone and sighed, noticing the way his friend’s face fell. “Personal issues.”

Dani could feel that sinking through him from head to toe, making him want to scream or cry, desperation hitting him. Me. “Hmm.”

“He didn’t know you were coming.”

“No.”

“But he hasn’t seen you?”

“No. Well…not really.”

“Right. Do you want to know?”

“Know?”

“Know. Everything I found out from Alex over lunch. I didn't know if you could handle it...”

“Yes. I can.” I think. Deep breath. “Please.”

Jorge went through it all, in the same painful detail he’d been given by a very obviously scheming younger Marquez, and watched his friend live through it all over again, his eyes welling up and lip bitten, fidgeting as though he was a dog dreaming, except that he wasn’t trying to catch a rabbit, he was trying to catch a Marc. He already fell, but if you can’t catch him you might at least be able to pick him up.

“So…” Dani pulled out a cigarette and ignored the wag of the finger from his friend, heading out onto the hotel balcony and sighing, the view much the same and the room very close to the one he remembered so vividly from that magical night – that was the only word he could think of – after the test, when Marc got his contract and had stayed awake all night. “He’s going home. Before I get chance to-“

“Aha!” Jorge grinned and pointed at him, smug.

“What?!”

“Before you get chance to what, Pedrosa? Is there some sort of plan?”

Dani went slightly red and shrugged, shaking his head. “Not plan…more…hope? That he’d see me…maybe we’d talk…or at least…I don’t know. Just…get that first moment. Again. Just communicate, even if he gave me a black eye.”

“Ok. I understand.” The Mallorcan stole a drag from the cigarette and glared at the irony shouted back at him from his friend’s face. “That’s what we thought.”

“We?”

“Me and Alex. Do you want me to try and find out more?” He grinned and held up his phone. "I have the power..."

*

“See him? How?”

“Talk to him, find him…call him. Call Jorge. Or just tell me and I’ll make it happen. His number hasn’t changed.”

Marc seemed to be considering it before heading off somewhere else entirely, eyes seeming like they were concentrating on something in the distance. “26.”

“What?” Please let’s not do tangents now. It’s dark outside already.

“26. His number hasn’t changed.”

“No.” I think you’re going to tell me, though. “Why?”

“I suggested it. Well, he had it and was going to change but I said he shouldn’t.” His voice was soft and measured, fingers messing with the hem of his t shirt. In obvious pain, but proud of the memory. “Because he was 26 when he was at his lowest.”

“Lowest?”

“After everything that happened to him. He was 26 years old. Just…”

“And?”

Marc took another breath and then looked up at his brother, eyes narrowed slightly. “Actually Alex, do you know why my number is 93?”

The younger Marquez paused as he realised that he actually had no idea. “No. I don’t.”

“Oh.” Marc looked away again and sighed. "Well…93. For 93 days.”

“Hmm?”

“From waking up to walking. 93 days. The idea was…is…I guess, that it’s my biggest victory.” Because this feels like it might win.

“Oh.” Alex took that in and squeezed his hand, pride back full force. And you said you didn’t deserve to be my hero. “I didn’t realise.”

“Yeah. Because…that’s important. For me, and him. His biggest victory was getting back up then, so was mine. And even if people don’t know, we know. It’s like going to war…wearing your trophies from the past to know what you’ve defeated already.” He looked up at his brother and smiled. “Gives me an extra something when I think about it. And him. For us, that’s what it is. Nothing can be more difficult than that.” He swallowed and looked away. “That’s what I thought when I chose it, anyway.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Marc looked away from the TV again and back at his brother.

“Why did you ask? Did he say something?”

Alex studied the emotions on his face and the hopeful crack in his voice, deciding the time was now, choosing his words carefully. So you know I talk to him. “No. He didn’t. Not about seeing you.” He watched Marc’s face fall from the hope and took a deep breath, ready to restore it. And you didn’t ignore the question. “But you should see him. See the difference. He was a mess, and now he looks healthier than I’ve ever seen. He’s trained and trained and trained-”

He was a mess, and now he’s fine. “Oh. Sounds like-“

“No, let me finish.” Alex smiled at the disgruntled hmmpph he got in return and pursed his lips. Vamos. “Because Jorge said something. Jorge went up there and found him in a state, drunk out of his mind, the house was a mess. He hadn’t eaten for days. It was bad. So he basically kind of…nursed him back to health, or something like it. And told him that if he gave up, then that was it.” The younger brother looked over at Marc and studied his face. “However much it hurt, giving up made it definitive. But getting back up and carrying on, getting better, at everything…that made it possible. So that’s what he’s done.”

“Made it possible.”

“Yeah. You. Made getting you back possible.”

Me.

“So…” He studied Marc, again, and gave him a sideways smile. “I doubt he’d be against the idea…”

*

“Alex floated the idea. Says Marc thought you wouldn’t want to see him.”

Dani’s heart leapt into his mouth. “What?! He left me!”

“Hang on.” Jorge obviously texted that to Alex then put his phone down and changed the TV channel, waiting for the answer before wanting to say anything else. But he didn’t tell Dani that, so Dani stared at him for a full 30 seconds until he realised as the Mallorcan’s head slowly pivoted back at him. “...yes?”

*

Alex didn’t know how to bring that up, and just when he’d been about to at least try, Marc turned the TV off and did it for him. “You really think he really wants to see me even though I was the one who left.”

Game on. “Yeah. He does. I know he does, now.” He held up his phone and sighed, leaning back against the headboard. “I think he understands the problem. Well…no.” He watched Marc get up and was about to ask where he was going before he saw the cigarette packet. Of course. “He…” He got up to follow and ended up stood next to him on the balcony in the dark, watching his face without giving that away, wanting to see the conscious and unconscious reactions. “He understands why you argued about this, and he understands how you feel about it and why. He always has.”

“But-“

“Let me finish!” Alex smiled at him and the look on his face, briefly chuckling at the way his brother seemed surprised he now trusted himself enough to cut people off. “Yeah! Let me finish. The problem isn’t whether you understand though, is it? It’s about what it means.”

“Exactly.”

“But you seem to think it’s because he doesn’t love you enough to go through being known as the gay rider…honestly? It’s nothing to do with how much he loves you. It’s to do with who he is-"

“What do y-“

Alex shot him a look and felt himself smile at the amused oops sorry did it again on Marc’s face, the spark definitely returning to his sibling. Especially since the conversation about this possibility had started. “I mean, he’s not that guy. He doesn’t have that concrete belief in himself all the time. You made that happen, and even if nothing else, it was too soon. It was too soon to push. To move in, to move away…that took a lot.” Plus Emilio’s theory, but we’ll leave that for now.

“So it was my fault.” His shoulders fell and he looked away again. "I...pff. I don't-"

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is, he loves you and he didn’t do anything wrong. Neither did you. You just disagreed and never properly realised why. And he didn’t run after you. No one is blameless.”

Never properly realised why?

And you still don’t, but maybe you will soon. “Maybe it would take years. I don’t know. Maybe he would need years. Maybe he will…but there’s no rush.”

Marc nodded and blew a plume of smoke away from them, thinking it through, eyes following the tracks of people below them walking around, air cold enough to signal night but not enough to convince them they were anywhere but Jerez. “I’m not used to there not being a rush...”

“I know.” Too far? He smiled to himself and decided to give it a try, Marc having seemingly gone from pilot light to roaring fire since the idea had been raised. “I really know…” He smiled and nudged him in the ribs, taking the plunge and getting whacked in return before a proper little scuffle started, ending with Marc victorious, jumping on the bed with his arms in the air, Alex cowering, both of them grinning ear to ear.

Hi Marc, my name is Alex, and I’ve missed you. “I need to reply to Jorge, then.”

ARGH! “But-“

“Don’t be a coward. Be a dick and a terror, fine. But don’t be a coward.”

Marc glared at him and then cracked into a grin, even more excited by the way it might actually happen. “Never.”

*

“Ok so where?”

Dani almost spat his mouthful of beer straight at the Mallorcan. “He said YES?!”

“Alex says he says yes and I have no reason to doubt him so far.”

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. “W-well…anywhere! Here? There? In the bar? Or…I don’t know. Or care.”

“Alright, calm down.” He rolled his eyes but more for show, the expression of equally eager excitement returning quickly. Finally. “Wherever you want. But I’d suggest not a bedroom.”

“Y-yeah.” The older rider nodded and took a few breaths. “That’s true. I don’t want to rush into-“

“Ah, I was thinking more yelling and crying and breaking things…”

Oh. Ha! Oops. “I was thinking more…self-control…” He went red and gulped before waiting for his friend to rescue them from the awkwardness, which took a while longer than was kind.

This might actually work. “You know what might sound stupid but be a good idea? A meeting room.”

“Don’t be-“

“I’m not being stupid. It’s neutral and doesn’t have a bed in it. And it’s a race weekend…they aren’t going to have any 10pm conferences in right now, are they?”

Sense. He makes sense, if nothing else. “Good point.” He went over that in his brain, trying to figure that out, wondering how it was like some sort of UN hostage exchange. “You think they’d give us one?”

“Give me a minute.” Phone already in hand, charm already turned on. “Good evening. This may be an unorthodox…”

Dani zoned out of the conversation and lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, everything starting to tingle at the possibility in front of him. It must be a dream. He pinched himself hard on the forearm to check and then yelped, Jorge throwing him a look that said please control yourself, I am on the phone but much more venomous, and then went slightly red.

Not dreaming.

Oh my God.

Not dreaming.

The Mallorcan put his phone down and prodded him.

“Meeting room 2. Downstairs. In half an hour.”

*

“Meeting room 2. Downstairs. In half an hour.”

30 minutes. Marc immediately went into panic mode and stood up, hands in the air, already trying to get started but not having yet received any instruction. 30 MINUTES?! He looked back at his brother and yelled at him with his eyes, Alex understanding perfectly.

“Go. Shower. I’ll find that shirt and jeans from your bag.”

*

“Hi.”

Surely he can see my heart whacking against my t shirt. And hear it. And feel the earth shaking as much as me.

Deep breath. “H-hi.”

Chapter Text

“Hi.”

Marc felt like his heart had suddenly turned into an 80s drum machine, the rhythm already fast and expectant, but once he walked in and saw Dani there the beat really kicked in and his feet moved in time across the room, steady and constant, like he’d walked onto the AVE that he’d been tempted to run for all day. Every single detail of Dani made itself apparent to his eyes as soon as they looked at him; the hair that looked equally washed freshly in the 30 minute countdown, the jeans that clung onto every part of him that he remembered, and some more, the t shirt that used to make him lick his lips without even realising replaced by one that was a little tighter, brighter, even more temptation sewn into every stitch, the white fabric showing off a toned chest and tanned, muscular arms that seemed to flex every distracting second as the older rider’s hands stayed in his pockets, nervous, waiting for a sign or some sort of explanation as to where they went from here. The one place we never expected to be. Stood close together but miles apart.

They’d expected they might both fail. They’d talked about that, a back-up plan, something away from racing. They’d talked about the future in all its forms and surprising twists, they’d talked about living in Spain or maybe somewhere else. They’d talked about travelling the world, they’d talked about marriage and gay marriage and where that was legal. They’d talked about one of them making it and the other not, in that case most reasonably Marc, and they’d sworn and sworn and sworn to each other that they’d manage with anything and everything. They’d talked about kids. Adopting, surrogacy…they’d talked about names. They’d talked about money and mortgages and garages and gardens. But the one thing they’d never, ever talked about was this. I have been a complete fucking idiot.

“Hi.”

*

The feeling of seeing him smile is what he’d missed the most, other than the feeling of falling into him and not being let go. The smile that shined back at him as he answered that first nervous hi with one of his own felt to Dani like it could have powered the country for a century. Because whilst Marc hadn’t really seen Dani except that glance in the paddock forewarned by Alex, Dani had seen Marc. Marc had been on TV, racing, and he’d been interviewed and filmed. He’d been visible, and although he was the same Marc when he was sat on pole position, the Marc who’d been in the paddock was a completely different one, and Dani could see the instant he walked in that that paddock Marc, cold and detached and so unlike himself, had definitely been broken as Jorge had told him Alex had told him. He was the right Marc, although he wasn’t the same one. Neither of us are or ever would be again. His eyes shone with the same energy but less of it, like power flickering in a storm; his hair was slightly different, shorter on the sides and some of his natural curl allowed to show on top; his clothes didn’t seem to fit quite as tightly as they had. He looked tanned and healthy if you hadn’t known him before, but he’d spent the time they’d been apart actively putting himself in situations that weren’t good for him, to try and at least keep himself ticking over. Whoever he’d gone to first when he walked down the hill had allowed the wall to go up, or maybe they’d been too far away from him to help it, whereas Jorge would always be close enough to the older rider to stop that happening. Because Dani could feel that happening too, by the time the Mallorcan had found him he’d felt less like he wanted to die and more like he didn’t care either way, like he’d just take it minute by minute and see if he made it to the next one, no bonuses for managing it or not. Like I lived before. Like before, but not quite. Because this time, the thing I lost was the thing that life is about. Like that quote: when you’ve tasted excess, everything else tastes bland. And Marc was that. He’d realised that in the past few weeks, now more able to live as he should, at least on the outside, and his brain had been deprived of everything; nicotine, alcohol and caffeine, and Marc. The strongest one, and the one he hadn’t realised had that same effect but so much stronger. That addiction though was the very opposite of damaging; it was healthy. It had no downside whatsoever, until it was gone. And then everything was ruined. So maybe not so different.

Hi. And what now.

“H…how are you?”

The way he looked at him then was probably the most he’d ever seen in an expression, like a novel unfurling silently in front of him.

Oh, you know. Same as you. Like I got sent to heaven and then they realised the mistake. That feeling that it seems like no one else in the world could ever understand, because it seems impossible to me that anyone else in the world could ever love anyone like we did. Do? Do. I do. I love you and I did from that first time I wouldn’t let you go, and we sat there forehead to forehead in that hotel on the border, staring into each other’s eyes like we were lovestruck 14 year olds. Like we didn’t have the vocabulary to really explain and never would have, but we managed to translate that look we shared into each other’s language perfectly. Like now, like the way you’re looking at me even as you say words that mean something different, telling me the same things as what I’m replying, showing me the same hole of nothing that we’ve left in each other for too long. Like that, really. How about yourself?

Dani felt himself smiling sadly at that and nodding, responding to it rather than the words.

“O-Ok.”

*

Even now, after this time and what happened, you got all that, didn’t you?

He didn’t know what he’d been expecting, although he knew what he wanted from it. He wanted it back and he wanted it now and he’d lay his neck down willingly under the axe to be given it.

“Dani.” Cough. “I-I’m sorry.”

*

I’m sorry. But somehow we’re still face to face and not mouth to mouth.

Dani stared back at him, only a distant part of his brain aware of probably how weird this would look on some hidden camera show, how they could already come out the room and say ‘yeah, we talked’, but there had only been 5 audible words. “Ok.”

“Ok.” Marc nodded at that, understanding it didn’t mean I forgive you, rather it meant this is where we start.

“You withdrew from the race?”

The younger nodded and put his own hands into his pockets, hoodie looking like it was 3 sizes too big, drowning him. “Yeah. C…C-can’t ride. Like this.”

“Like this?”

“Hmm. Like this. After…” I broke. “You know. You know? Alex-“

“He told me.”

“I thought so.”

Another few seconds of silent conversation mostly concluding we both owe Alex and Jorge a lot.

“But…you’re…ok? Now. I mean…you’re…” The older rider waved his hands as though as aware as Marc was that there wasn’t really a word to explain the furthest from ok but at least still here. “…ok?”

“Hmm.” The younger nodded, slowly, really considering it, and smiled again, weakly as though he’d just this second stopped crying; been reminded that there was something worth smiling about. Like he was trying it out for size and out of practice. “I’m very, very far from ok.” He coughed to hide the crack in his voice and took a deep breath, looking away from Dani for the first time since entering the room. “Fragile.”

Fragile. “I understand.”

The first tiny spark of something like Marc appeared again and he smiled, eyes back on Dani’s and sending a shock through both as they clicked. “I know. You don’t look very fragile, though.” Stood close enough to do it and the fragility making it less daring and more needy, he reached out and ran the index finger of his left hand down Dani’s bicep, the electric shockwave through the room and them both almost audible. “You look like you took some really good advice from someone I owe a lot to.”

So you know. “Hmm. I did.” He nodded and shrugged slightly, trying to find the words. “Or, I…hung on to the last thread and luckily it was his.”

“Hmm.” I cut all mine on purpose. Marc nodded and felt his eyes well up as he thought that, every moment with Alex over the past 4 or 5 months suddenly flashing through his brain, the looks of hurt and anger and desperation and contempt on his younger brother’s face that he’d caused, the way he’d actively pushed him as far away as possible and cut their common ties, and then finally the way something had made him try and catch that last one lifeline, the one that no matter what he did, his brother had kept throwing. The one that had made his hand reach out earlier that day and flip the lock and the on switch at the same time. “I didn’t.”

Dani smiled at that, seeing the thought process and regret and hurt as quickly as Marc felt it, and then shook his head, trying to build him back up. “Well…maybe I won that race.” He smiled at him, swallowing down a new feeling he’d never expected at all that had started to creep in, and nodded, watching the love of his life stand a little taller as he said it. “But you still made it over the line.”

You won. "Hmm." Because I lost everything. But maybe, just maybe I did make it far enough.

No. Definitely. The older rider nodded and pulled his hands out of his pockets, trying to make that new feeling go away, feeling panic rise in him as he unconsciously responded to the onslaught, realising exactly what it was and trying to force it to go away.I’m angry. He tried another smile, another few shocked heartbeats, and another gulp as he watched Marc start to pick up on it, his process of realisation only just behind the older rider's, nothing said out loud but a lot said in the expressions as it dawned on them.

I’m so, so fucking angry.

Chapter Text

Angry. He’s angry. Marc held his breath slightly as he watched it appear, Dani seemingly trying to stop it but unable, and took a couple of seconds to think what to say, words coming out of his mouth as panicked as they sounded in his head.

“Dani?”

“Hmm.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made it about how much you loved me. I’m sorry for what I said. I’m sorry that I told you you broke promises. I’m sorry how I left, and I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

“Hmm.” He nodded and made a kind of agreeing noise, Marc taking that as the signal to carry on.

“I was frustrated because I can’t live without you. That’s why I so desperately wanted to tell people. Because 5 minutes without you was too long. And I see the irony. I just didn’t…don’t? Yeah. I don’t understand how the two things fit together.”

“Two things?”

“How much I know you love me and how much you won’t let anyone see that.”

You still haven’t figured it out. “I love you more than I can explain.”

Present tense. The present tense hit Marc like a tidal wave and made him take a few quick breaths in relief, noticing the defrosting of Dani’s face as he did. “I love you. I’ll always love you. If you walked out of here right now and disappeared, I’d still look for you round every corner.”

That’s what I’ve been doing. “Me too.” He cleared his throat and nodded, taking a deep breath and voice coming out as it should: puzzled and regretful but also honest and clear. “I’m just really, really angry. At you or this…I’m not sure yet.”

Marc nodded and gulped, space between them seeming to get bigger although neither moved. “I can see that.”

“I don’t know what else to say right now, to be honest.”

The younger rider could feel it start to slip, feel the excited hope from the first moment they walked into the room start to dissolve and send him sliding back down the landslide he’d just climbed, watching the older rider start to move ever so slightly. “Dani.”

“Yes?”

He reached out and gently grabbed his forearm, eyes imploring. “Please don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Please don’t walk out.”

“I’m not going to walk out.”

“You’re thinking about it.”

The quick fire responses paused again as the older rider took a breath and nodded, slowly, staying on the spot and Marc’s hand letting him go. “I was.”

“Please, please.” This is it. If he goes now... Marc could feel the desperation clawing at him, feel himself go hot and cold, so vividly and cruelly aware of how important the next few seconds in his life were, never having realised how important something was whilst it was happening before. But this… He took a deep breath and did the only thing he could honestly imagine said any of what he knew he had to, and he actually got on his knees. “I’m sorry. I’ll do anything. I want to know why. I want to understand, I want to talk to you. But…I trust you. I trust you more than anyone I’ve ever trusted before in my life. And when you say you love me, I’ll never doubt that again. Ever. I promise.”

God. The image hit him straight in the chest. “Get up.”

“No.”

“Get up, Marc. Don’t fuck around.”

“I’m not fucking around. You know me better than anyone, and you know what this takes.”

“I know-“

“No, not that. I’m not just desperate. I don’t care about pride or whatever. I don’t care. Do. Not. Walk. Out. This. Room.”

Please, please don’t do this. “I said I’m not going to.”

“I know you better than that. Don’t.”

“Get up.”

“Tell me you’re not going to leave. Until you tell me you’re not going to leave, I’m not moving.”

“Leave? The room? Or…this?”

This. Not ‘me’. Because we had a relationship, and now we don’t. “The room. That’s all I’m asking for right now. Just don’t leave the room.”

Dani looked down at him, took a few calming breaths, more eye to eye silent words said, and then nodded. “Ok. I won’t leave.” He held his hand out and pulled Marc back up, squeezing slightly before he let it go. “The room.”

The room. That’s enough. He nodded and felt his heart slowly start to return to somewhere near normal. Wow I really got good at lying to myself. “Please.”

“I’m here.”

“But…please.” I thought I dropped off the edge this morning, but... It was a similar feeling as then, except that it wasn’t coming out in tears, and it wasn’t Alex holding onto him. It was just fear and panic, pure and simple. Because you’re right in front of me and I want you so badly. Just a word. Or another smile. Or a touch. Or anything. A plan. Because I’m drowning. I’m drowning. “I fucked up.”

“I know.” Deep breath. I seriously need to calm down. “M-maybe I did a bit, too.” He watched Marc’s eyes flash at that, the chance he’d been thrown, and nodded. “I’m sorry for m-“

“I left.”

“YES.” He snapped it before he’d really realised what he was saying and felt the guilt hit him just as the tone hit Marc’s face. Oh, god. “Sorry. But yes, you did.” He gulped again and rubbed his hands over his face, trying to pick a path through the minefield, trying to stop being this person. “You left, and-”

“Dani, I-“

“Let. Me. Finish.”

The younger rider almost visibly took a step back and gulped, nodding, hands back in the pockets of his hoodie. “S-sorry.”

“Sorry.” He hung his head and sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m not just angry at you, I’m angry at the situation. Just…let me talk.” He locked his eyes on Marc’s and smiled, the same kind of out-of-practice version Marc had given him earlier. “Ok, so…you left. But I understand how you could have thought that. Could have thought what you did. I understand we disagreed, and I understand it was a big and important thing we disagreed about. Lots at stake...” His brain, ahead of his mouth, suddenly had a lightbulb flash on and he realised why he was so angry. Because… “What I don’t understand is why you never came back. Why didn’t you come back? Did you think that you were right, all this time? Do you still think you’re right? When did that crossover point happen where it stopped being I walked out and changed into he won’t want to see me? Why is it MAY, Marc?” He balled his hands into fists by his sides, shaking, and tried his absolute best to not shout at him, losing that battle and gritting his teeth. “Why are we in a hotel in Jerez talking to each other for the first time in MONTHS?! WHY is it MAY?!”

Why is it May. Why is it May? Because… “Dani?” The quietest, smallest voice that he hoped he still understood.

“Yes.”

“I’m drowning.”

“Why is it May?”

“I don’t know. I just…Please. I can’t. I just can’t…I never realised how…how much I decided that I was kind of…doing it as a challenge. Carrying on. For me, for my parents. For Alex, especially. But then…you happened and it wasn't a challenge, it was a pleasure. But now I’m here without you and I don’t know what I’m doing and everything is so different and I’m terrified but I just burnt everybody. I burnt all my bridges and I’m drowning and I’m panicking and I’m sorry but I mean I just-“ Just understand that I mean I’m going to fall over if you don’t hold me up. “Just…there is nobody else I can…I mean…nobody knows. It’s May and my head made all the reasons up but I need you. I mean, now. Please. Please-”

Dani shook his head at him as he listened, eyes welling up and nodding somewhere in there behind the wobbly lip, holding up his arms towards him slightly, taking two steady steps forward to breach the distance between them, arms going round Marc’s waist, tears suddenly streaming down the younger rider’s face again, everything hitting him, staying still as if moving might scare Dani away, the one thing he really couldn’t have dealt with, before something clicked and he realised it was real, arms clinging onto the fabric of his hoodie, face buried in his neck, holding on for dear life.

“I’m sorry.”

I know.

“I’m sorry.”

I know.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

Dani nodded into him and squeezed him slightly, hands locked behind his back to keep him as close as possible, whispering a quiet shhh in his ear as he sobbed, feeling himself melt into him as Marc had into him the second they touched. I wanted to be here. I wanted to be here all the time, I promise. “I know, baby. I know.” He ran a hair through Marc’s hair and felt the sobbing get louder, hopefully for the same reasons he could feel himself start to lose control again, just overwhelmed, holding onto him just as tightly. Because it’s such a relief. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Dani felt him slowly start to calm and pulled away to get eye contact, rubbing his thumbs under Marc’s eyes and cupping his face as he looked into it, mesmerized by his eyes. I miss you. “It’s not all fixed.”

“I know. I’ll do anyth-”

“Shh.” He smiled and pressed the gentlest kiss against his lips before looking at him again and nodding. “I know.”

I know. Marc nodded back, swallowed, and then wrapped him up in another hug. “Dani?”

“Yeah?”

“We’re not back together.”

“No.”

Not yet? “But…we could be.” Please God tell me we could be.

We will be. If you mean everything. “We could be. With some work.” He squeezed him again before pulling away, this time fully, and holding up a pack of cigarettes, pointing at the door to the balcony and feeling Marc follow him out there, wordlessly lighting a cigarette and passing it to him, smoking in silence, watching the blue ribbons of smoke snake away above them, the word could hanging heavy in the air around them, full of fear and hope in mostly equal measure. Could.

“You know...I mostly stopped.” He looked over at Marc and smiled slightly. “Mostly…”

“Hmm. I haven’t. I’ve…lost…hmm…lost myself a bit.”

Lost yourself a bit. “I know. But you should stop.” And find him, now. Like I did with me.

“I know.”

“And you should call Emilio.”

“What?” Marc turned to him again and frowned, moonlight just about picking out the expression enough for Dani to see it. “Why?”

“Because we’re at the Cathedral and the best rider on the grid said he was going home.”

“I’m not the-“

“I think you are. Or you will be.” The older rider looked back out at the view and then stubbed the cigarette out, sighing, for the good and the bad, and then turned back to him, smiling slightly and nodded. “We’re not back together. It’s not fixed. But until you tell me you’re going to race on Sunday, nothing is going to change.” He got down onto his knees to mirror Marc earlier and nodded. “Please. I don’t care how hard you th-”

“But Dani I can’t-“

“Yes, you can.” He nodded at him and waited a few seconds for that to sink in. “Because you’re Marc. You’re the one who got Alex to the World Championship. You learnt to walk again. You didn’t give up. And if you tell me now that you can’t race on Sunday, you’re not the person I thought you were.”

“I can’t.”

“I mean it.”

“So do I, Dani. I c-“

“Last chance. I love Marc Marquez. And he probably wouldn’t win on Sunday, but he’d try. He wants me to try and forgive him. He wants me to try and understand why this is May. Well, ok. I’ll try. My best. If he tries, too.”

“Dani, please. Don't."

“Ok.” The older rider got to his feet again and pulled him into a hug, brief but genuine, and then walked back to the door and turned, hand on the handle. “If Marc wants to talk, or call me, or get a coffee…try and sort through everything? He can do that whenever he wants because I love him and I miss him more than anything.” He opened the door and took a deep breath before the one last thing he had to say, hoping he'd got it right.

“Pass that message on for me, will you? To Marc. If you find him.”

Chapter Text

Last chance, I love Marc Marquez.

Marc stayed on the balcony to the meeting room for about half an hour after Dani had left, the hug echoing around him like a warm cocoon, wondering how it had turned out like that. Although what did I expect, really? Just ‘oh I missed you I love you let’s forget this whole thing’? He realised that maybe yes, some of him had been expecting just that, although another part knew it wouldn’t happen and knew that it would have been a bad idea. Because we still disagree about the same thing. And we have to understand. The hysteria and panic of the moment he’d thought Dani was going to leave had gone, and he found himself able to stand there and think, slightly frowning, chain smoking and smiling to himself at how Dani was now the one who ran and trained and didn’t smoke. Or drink. Or anything. He went pro. For me.

It was clear the older rider had been surprised by his own anger, too. It had seemingly suddenly appeared once he’d seen Marc, taking them both slightly by surprise, and it hurt to know that he’d caused that. But, equally, like Alex had said…nobody was blameless. But we know that because we both apologised. Although I have more to apologise for. As I hope I proved by getting on my knees.

It sounded like Alex and Jorge had been very busy behind the scenes, and they owed them a lot. But Marc wanted to talk to someone, someone who wasn’t really involved, who hadn’t been working with an agenda, however positive, and about 40 minutes after Dani left he pulled out his phone to call who his ex-boyfriend had said he should call.

But not for the same reason.

*

“Hello.”

“Hi.” The memory of the last time he’d said that word made Marc sit up slightly taller as he levelled his eyes at his manager. “I…need to talk to someone. And Alex is…amazing, but he-“

“He’s your brother. I understand. I offered, and I’m here.”

Marc nodded at him and then followed him to get a drink and sat opposite him, hands round the mug despite the heat of the May night outside, Emilio studying him, wondering if he was really going to crack or already had, wondering if he should mention everything he knew. “So, I know about Dani.”

Yup. “Who told you?”

“No one. But Alex knew I knew. You must have known too…I think, or I’d like to think, that I tried to give you space at the races last year. So you could see each other and share some of those moments in private.”

The younger rider nodded at him and smiled like someone remembering a summer’s day fifty years ago. “Yeah. Maybe I guessed.”

“So, I know that. And I don’t know everything that happened, but I do know that Dani wanted to keep it private, and you didn’t.”

“My brother is a fountain of information, eh?” He shook his head and smiled affectionately into his cup, amazed he’d never once caught on to the situation behind the scenes. “Little shit.”

Hello, Marc. You’re back. “Not so little!”

“True. Very true. Strong enough to hold me up without help, anyway.”

“Hmm.” A concerned look came at him across the table, but not the same kind of wary one he’d been used to. Open and honest and just concerned. “Did I do the right thing telling him where you were?”

The genuine worry in the tone made Marc lock eyes with him again and nod. “Yes. Whatever I ever say to you again, this now is the only thing you need to remember: if I need help, or if something’s wrong with me, you can tell Alex absolutely anything. And if…well…when? Dani…and me…we figure it out…same for him. Anything.”

“Ok, I’ll remember that and hope I never have to use it.”

“Me too!” Marc smiled again, really smiled, and took another sip. “So…I guess you know what happened. I left, because I didn’t think he was making any sense. It was always soon. He’d never give me a real answer. And he was nervous at first, being in public together…even on the first day when we were...” He trailed off and blushed slightly, waving his hands in the absence of how to say it. “..er, all over each other? Because he’s not used to it. Being gay, in public. And I just think that if you love someone, you don’t care about that stuff. Not really. But he was completely adamant that he didn’t want it to be public, because, he said, he didn’t want to be known for that, rather than racing. Even in amateur stuff.”

Come on, kid. Turn on that annoyingly sharp brain. “But you don’t care?”

“No. I don’t care. But I’m me. I’m used to it – having the odds stacked against me. So…I thought that whatever difference it made wouldn’t really matter in the end, because I’d just try harder. I mean…you would have still called me, right?”

“Yeah.” Emilio nodded at him and took a sip of his drink. “I would have.”

“So I am right.” The younger rider sat back and sighed. “But he doesn’t believe that.”

“Ok wait, rewind slightly. Dani said he didn’t want to be known for being ‘the gay rider’?”

“Yeah.”

“And you believe that?”

“Yeah?” Marc’s tone was somewhere between my God, keep up and complete bewilderment. “Why?”

“I’m asking the questions right now.” The manager smiled at him and then carried on. “Dani’s good.”

“He is.”

“He should have been in the World Championship a lot sooner.”

“Yeah, I know. He knows.”

“Ok. Well…it’s not too late. Right now, everyone is obsessed with finding the ‘next Rossi’ or the ‘next Stoner’, and they’re forgetting about winning races. They’re forgetting that it’s not about finding that one diamond in the rough, it’s about putting someone on your bike who will make it to the line first.”

“Dani can.”

“I know that. We were considering offering him a wildcard this weekend if…the situation hadn’t changed.”

Wow. Marc felt guilt hit him first, followed up by a wallop of self-pity. “Oh.”

“The point I’m making is, Dani could make it. Even to the top. World Champion? Not at this point, no. But into MotoGP? Race winner? I think so. I’ve seen him race a few times now, and I’ve seen him push you. And that’s a lot harder than he’s ever made it look.”

Wow. “Hmm.”

“Hmm.” The manager copied the little noise and took another sip, smiling, relieved that they were talking about the one taboo that had been left unspoken for weeks - Dani. And Marc wasn’t crying. “Been up to Rufea lately?”

Marc frowned and then smiled, puzzled. “No?”

“There’s a surprise waiting for you up there. The bad kind. The kind that tells me he started to take this seriously. And have you seen him today?”

“Surprise?”

“Yeah. Surprise.”

The penny seemed to drop and Marc transformed into a strange mixture of glee and angry, bitter resentment. “He beat my record.”

“Yes he did. Dani Pedrosa beat your record. He learnt all the stuff he was missing from you, he went down there, and he beat you at your own game.”

“Considering how he was the first day he went there, that’s amazing.”

“I know. And have you seen him?”

“Briefly. We talked. We…well, that’s why I called you.”

“Ok. I hadn’t seen him for a while. Almost didn’t recognise him.”

“I know.” Marc smiled at him, the kind charged with a lot of cheek and sparkle, blushing slightly, and nodded. “God, I know.”

Emilio laughed at that and nodded, shrugging to himself. “Pretty hot?”

“Pffff. Honestly…I mean…there was something about him the moment I met him. And he was always hot. Always made my heart beat a bit faster when he walked into the room…but…tonight? I…I don’t know. It’s probably weird for you to think about…”

“No, it’s not weird. Well, ok…maybe a bit. After Eva…” He raised a disapproving eyebrow at Marc and smiled to himself at the flustered argh on his face. “But only because of that. From cliché and fake eyelashes, suddenly you’re telling me that this little guy you worked with is the most attractive person in the world.”

Marc smiled at him and nodded, shrugging. “I know. But that…with her…it was just physical and fake. And not really that great. But Dani…I don’t know. You can see who Dani is as soon as you look at him.”

“I almost know what you mean, there.”

“Really? Well…hopefully only that bit.” He grinned again and took another sip, surprised how far the barriers were broken down already, and he was discussing hot guys with Emilio Alzamora. “Ok, why are we talking about beautiful little Dani?”

“That’s not why you called?”

“Well…yeah. I guess.” Another sip. “I just…I don’t understand him. I don’t understand the problem.”

“And you think I do?” I completely do.

“I don’t know. But I thought talking might make sense of it.”

“It makes enough sense to me. You disagreed and one of you left.”

“Hmm.” Marc crumpled again slightly and shrugged. “I left. I know. I was an idiot. I just don’t understand how he can say he loves me – and I know he does – and then…this could happen. That we could argue about this. And it wasn’t once, it was a lot of times. How did that happen?”

Ok. You really want to know. And I’m going to tell you. He took a deep breath and prepared to breach and clear. “Because…” Obviously... “…Dani lied to you and you believed him.”

“What?”

“Dani lied to you, and broke your heart by saying he didn’t want anyone to know. And he did it on purpose.”

There was a long silence as Marc stared at him, blinking, wondering what the hell he was talking about and how the hell everyone seemed to know everything about everything whereas he’d been languishing in complete, blind darkness. Self -imposed. “What?! Seriously. What are you talking about?”

“Ok…Dani’s a good rider. From what I’ve seen, he might be great if he got the chance. Dani could. But you will. And I think he’s prepared to take the risk on his chances of making it. He’d go public if you weren’t a rider. But he’s not willing to take the risk on you.”

That’s not news. “Yeah I already-“

“No. Listen.” He put down his cup and levelled his eyes across the table. “You’re not listening, properly. Dani, as a rider, would tell everyone no problem if he had a boyfriend who wasn’t you. Because his chance is worth risking, for whoever he loves. But he loves you, and you’re Marc Marquez. Your chance isn’t worth risking. Your chance isn’t worth gambling over your relationship, because your chance isn’t filled with ‘ifs’. It’s filled with ‘when’. I met you when you were about 2 feet shorter, and I’ve never walked away from a moment like that excited about the future before. Not if, but when. But then things happened, and it went back to if. But you beat it all, and you came back. But now…you don’t have a history that people want to invest in, frankly. They will, don’t worry. If that’s the only thing. For someone like HRC, the risk of signing you is your weird route into the championship. But if you prove that wrong by winning here, and winning a lot, that goes away. If you’re the best option but with a few question marks, they’ll risk it because you’re Marc Marquez and by then that will mean something big. If you’re the gay option with a few question marks, they might not. There are other riders with no fallout and no chequered past. And they’d pick one of them.”

“What?!” He’s not serious. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Emilio sighed and took another sip, knowing this would take a while and ultimately probably wasn’t much to do with him. I hope you’ll forgive me, Pedrosa. For figuring it out and telling him. “I’m saying…Dani doesn’t want to go public because he doesn’t want it to damage your chances. And he’s not told you that because he knew you wouldn’t give a shit.”

*

“How did it go?” I can’t read you. And I don’t like that. “…Dani? How did it go?”

He’d come back a few minutes before and sat mutely on the end of the bed, staring at the wall. Not upset, not mad, not happy. Just intensely thinking about something. “Hmm?”

“How did it go?”

“Oh…ok.” Cough. “Ok, I think. I was really surprised how angry I was. When I saw him again, properly.”

Oh shit. “Right. I was wondering how that might feel. Because…I know you want him back, but…I don’t know. You never really talked about…the actual issues. I mean…what he did…” Please take this the right way.

“Yeah, I don’t think I really thought about it too much. I was just thinking he was in pain and I was in pain and I didn’t like it for either of us.”

Ok. We can work with that. He picked up his phone and texted Alex out of view. “Well…ok. That’s sounds like it makes sense.”

“Hmm.”

“So…what happened?” Did you smash up the room and cry and yell?

“We talked. He apologised. I apologised for my part. He, er…well. That’s kind of private but he wasn’t very ok and I think…I hope I made him feel better.”

You’re giving me nothing. “Right…”

“And, er…we decided we could get back together, but that it won’t be instant. And I told him that I’d try and we’d have a go, if he races on Sunday.”

Oh. Well, great. Just great. The swell of hope was replaced by one of frustration. You people and your caveats. “And what did he say?”

Dani turned to look at him for the first time since coming back and shrugged slightly. “He said he can’t.” And then a smile. “But…I think he will.”

*

Marc had been staring at him for a while now, speechless and subdued but eyes firing up as his brain went through the possibility. “Seriously.”

“Yeah.”

“So he was never going to tell people.”

“No, no. Come on. That’s not what I said.”

“But that’s what it means. I mean, how long would it take me to shake off my baggage round here? A year? 3?” It could take years. Alex had said that. Maybe it will take years. “And he’s just sat there going soon soon soon like it’s going to be in a few weeks.”

“Yeah. I think he thought he could buy the time until you signed.”

“But I already signed. Didn’t I? Fucking ages ago. This makes no sense.”

“You signed with me, yeah.”

“But that’s en-“

“No, that’s not enough. Like I said…I’m talking about Yamaha and HRC and Ducati. The big guys. I’m talking about MotoGP, and that’s what Dani’s thinking about, too.”

MotoGP?! FUCK. “Ok. I need five minutes.” Marc stood up abruptly, chair scraping on the floor with a harsh noise that woke both of them up, and then stalked outside to think and smoke and generally just take it in, not saying anything else to his manager. Liar. He’s a liar.

But for a good reason.

But he lied.

But would you have listened?

But he lied.

After 5 or 6 minutes, flexibility awarded from the different clocks inside and out, he took a deep breath, stubbed out his cigarette, and then walked back, sitting where he had been before and sighing, red post-crying eyes replaced by a frown. “Ok. And you think he’s right.”

Emilio took a deep breath, unable to judge the reaction he was getting, or the outcome of the outside alone time, and nodded. “Yeah. I do think he’s right. I think he’s right, and I think he lied to you because he’s knows, as well as I do, and Jorge and Alex and everyone else, that if he’d told you that to your face you would have just laughed it off and gone for it.”

Chapter Text

Hi, I’m trying to get in touch with Dani Pedrosa? Hope I have the right number. This is Marc, Marc Marquez ;)

*

Saturday News: Moto2: Marquez fit to race in Jerez after withdrawing on Friday

Marc Marquez will contest this weekend’s Gran Premio bwin de España despite initially withdrawing on Friday, citing ‘personal issues’ for the lack of track time he gained during the first two practice sessions. He will, however, be lining up on the grid on Sunday after manager Emilio Alzamora confirmed the issues were ‘resolved or near to being so’ and that the team was still more than ready to take part in the race.

The number 93 rider and his CatalunyaCaixa Repsol team will be hoping for a good finish after a difficult start to both the season and the weekend.

*

“Just send it.”

“But-“

“No but.” Alex rolled his eyes at him and then licked the corner of his mouth to catch an escaping croissant crumb. “He said Marc Marquez could talk to him whenever. You’re Marc Marquez. Again. I hope…”

“Don’t push me.” The Moto2 rider put down his spoon and glared before cracking into a grin. “I’m fragile.”

“A truck didn’t even break you so just send the fucking message.”

Marc’s mouth went into a little round ‘o’ and he laughed at his brother. “Alex Marquez, what would mum and dad say?!”

“They’d tell you to send the fucking message.”

“I sense you’re maybe a bit fed up with this…”

“No.” Alex sat back slightly and stopped eating. “I’m not fed up with this whole thing. But…you were given clear and positive instructions and you’re not following them.”

“But when did I ever-“

“ALL THE TIME, MARC. YOU FOLLOWED DANI’S ADVICE ALL THE TIME BECAUSE IT’S USUALLY GOOD ADVICE.” He grabbed the phone suddenly from across the table and pressed ‘send’ before his brother could so much as yelp, then got to his feet, grinning, and put it back down in front of his affronted sibling. “DONE. See you later, asshole.”

“I’m going to kill you!”

Alex smiled to himself and then turned to reply on his way out. “Not if Fenati beats you to it!”

*

Marc: Hi, I’m trying to get in touch with Dani Pedrosa? Hope I have the right number. This is Marc, Marc Marquez ;)

Dani grinned to himself as he sat up in bed and read it. Yes, it is. It’s Marc Marquez. Finally. He read it another couple of times, wanting to give the reply a few minutes of thought, and forwarded it to Jorge.

Jorge: Does this mean you don’t need a cuddle tonight? ;)

Dani: We’ll see how quali goes.

Jorge: I thought I was free…

Dani: You’ll never be free.

It was a start. More than a start. It was Marc taking his advice, and Marc investing in what he’d said. It was Marc proving to Dani what Dani had hopefully already proved in how he’d spent his time since the break up?. He’d never really thought about it like that, he realised, because his brain had been adamant that it couldn’t possibly be forever. And it looks like I was right. And this is Step 1. Please, God. Let this be Step 1.

He got up and showered before making his way down to breakfast, alone, not in a hurry but not really dawdling, and found a sleepy Lorenzo sipping what looked like 99 espressos in one massive cup.

“Morning.”

“Morning. He just left.”

“Who?”

“Marc.”

“Oh! Right.” Still on Stasi duty, then. “With Alex?”

“At first, yeah.” Jorge smiled at the cough that erupted as his friend sipped his coffee. “Aww, too strong?”

“No.” Voice hoarse, he cleared his throat and shook his head. “Not too strong. Too…shit.”

“Hmm, I know.” The Mallorcan held up his own cup and sighed. “That’s why I have a quadruple espresso. I like suffering.”

“I realised that.”

“Really?” Jorge smiled at him and then rolled his eyes as he read the comeback. “Right, because I’m friends with you…”

“Yup.”

“Change the record. We’re on the home straight.”

“Hmm." He smiled and shrugged. "I think maybe we are.”

YES! YES! YES! “Good! But yeah, anyway…with Alex, who stopped him being all nervous and teenaged – ironically – and wrestled him for the phone and sent the message. Then with Emilio. That was interesting.”

Alex Marquez, I’ll buy you dinner. “Interesting?”

“Yeah. They seemed pretty close. Different to before, like they would have been having breakfast together even if they didn’t employ each other.”

“Oh.” Ok… “Why?”

“Don’t know. I’ll ask-“

“Alex.”

“Yup.” The Mallorcan grinned and nodded, firing off the message. “The fountain of knowledge.”

“You’re like the KGB.”

“Maybe. But we’re prettier.”

“Well…maybe Alex…”

“Careful…” Jorge grinned at the way he blushed and raised his eyebrows. “Haha. Knew it. You’ve looked.”

“YES, ok. I have looked. How can you not look?!”

“Hmm, good point.”

Dani spluttered into his coffee and his eyes popped out. “WHAT?!”

“Hey, I may not want to drag him into my room and have my way with him. Or any one of you…but I can tell a good looking guy when I see one. And that guy is a good looking guy.”

He is. Just not Marc. “Right. Hmm…”

“Promise I’m not gay.”

“Like it’s something negative?”

“No! Like it’s something that would be pretty weird to find out after 10 years.”

“Hmm.” True. “Ok well other than hot 18 year olds we shouldn’t be-“

“He replied.” Jorge cut him off and then read it, nodding to himself and smiling before looking back up at Dani. “He says Marc talked to Emilio last night and it helped him a lot, and that he knows about you two and the situation.”

Dani’s face went white. “WHAT?!”

“Calm down! He doesn’t care. It doesn’t ruin anything, don’t-“ The phone pinged again and he read the next message, face descending into an ‘eek’ and looking back up with worried eyes. “Ah…”

“Ah?”

“Hmm…”

“Just tell me.”

“Ok. Ok…well…” No no no no… “Alzamora…figured it out.”

“Figured what out?”

“You. The situation. Why it all happened and what you’re actually trying to stop happening...”

WHAT. “You mean he knows I did it for Marc’s career?!” The older rider looked like he’d just been shot. “Seriously?!”

“Yeah.” Cringe. “Yeah, he does...”

FUCK. Maybe the whole behind the scenes cold war was actually not a help?! “Great. Well…just great.” He didn’t like the feeling of the circle getting wider, more people to talk, more people to guess, more people to get in the way or have an opinion. And he didn't like the feeling of being transparent enough to have been found out. “I…pff. I don’t know. I guess he doesn’t care though, like you said. If Marc still sent me…or, well…if Alex still made him send that message…”

“He doesn’t care.”

“That’s something, then.” Deep breaths. "Right?"

“That is something.” Jorge nodded at him and waited until he’d taken another sip of coffee, knowing the outcome and laughing at the splutter despite creating it. “…and he told Marc.”

*

HE TOLD HIM. Dani’s heart exploded as he made sense of the words, mind whirling. Fucking hell! HE TOLD HIM?! “WHAT.”

Not even a question. “Yeah…” Cough. “He told him. Last night.”

FUCK. “FUCK!”

“Calm down!”

“CALM DOWN?! I gave away EVERYTHING to stop this happening and he’s just gone and fucking TOLD HIM?!”

“But-“

“NO BUT!” He got to his feet and whacked the last of the coffee into his mouth before walking away, off somewhere to do something about it but not sure about where or what. “FUCK!”

*

Eventually, he'd done the only thing he could really think could be the next move, in lieu of being able to kill Emilio (or find him, he tried), and just concentrated on him and Marc, and not whatever else was whirling around them, ignoring everything except how much he wanted to try. Even the anger.

Dani: Oh hi Marc Marquez. This is Dani. You wanted me?

Marc: Always…

Dani: I see you haven’t changed in some ways. ;)

Marc: Not the good things. Hopefully some of the bad things grew up a bit. ♥

Dani: I can’t tell you how it feels to see your number pop up again on my phone.

Marc: I know. ♥ Not still fuming at me?

Dani: Yeah, like I said. We have a bit of work to do. But not enough to ever change the fact that I love you…I think we need to talk again, don’t we?

Marc: Anything anywhere anyhow. Podium? ;)

Dani: Chance would be a fine thing.

Marc: Well someone wise told me I might manage it at least…

Dani: YOU will!

Marc: Maybe ;) but you know what the important thing is? I’m going to TRY.

Dani: You know that makes me really proud.

Marc: Well then you can tell me that yourself face to face whilst I spray you with champagne and pretend we’ve never been sticky together before… ;) I believe in you. ♥

He gulped as he pressed send, confidence suddenly vanishing in panicking that it could be too far. And that was the moment Dani was using the bathroom and there would have been a pause in the conversation anyway. So Marc panicked, and then felt his chest expand to previously unknown levels in relief and pure bliss when he did respond.

Dani: Thank you. And pretend?! Not so hard, is it? ;)

Marc: Ouch. :P

Dani: Sorry?

Marc: We’re using that word too much. How about we show it instead?

Dani: I think you already are. You’re going to race.

Marc: But why do one thing when you could do 93? ;)

Dani: WOW THIS IS ACTUALLY MARC! ;) Ok I’m going now and you should too. I can see your head down the pit lane, giggling. :P

Marc went slightly red and then laughed again before looking up and catching sight of Dani in the distance. Oh there you are. Smooth. He waved slightly and felt himself relax as the older rider waved back, then made his way into the garage after sending one more thing.

Marc: I hope we’ll see each other on the podium. But that seems a long time. How about dinner?

He waited a few minutes with no reply, heart sinking slightly before it pinged one last time and he smiled at Emilio, cheeky, knowing he shouldn't, reading it and typing a quick reply before his race face took over and he realised the task ahead of him. One practice, one qualifying. All the work of a whole weekend.

Dani: This is Jorge (thought I’d tell you in case you sent a nude or something) and Dani says yes. He’ll knock on your door at 8pm. Sound ok?

Marc: Hahahaha ok. Thanks, mate. And tell him that sounds like everything I dreamt of all night.

Dani: Vomit. (Dani says go and get yourself racing and be careful and he loves you.)

Marc: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS!!!! ♥ same!

Chapter Text

The seconds before the knock on the door were the longest of his life. The moment seemed to be threatening its arrival for hours before the sound finally roused him from dreaming about the possibility and finding himself living the reality, Dani’s hand hitting the wood at precisely 8 o’clock. Of course. Never late. He pulled open the door too fast and then grinned as he saw him. Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow. “Oh God.”

“Hello to you, too.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds as their eyes wandered and explored each part of their counterpart image, grinning like idiots.

“Hello. Sorry.” Marc took a breath and smiled, all genuine feeling and sparkle, overwhelmed. “You look genuinely breathtaking.” Wow.

Awww. “Thanks.” Dani gulped and smiled back, feeling exactly the same. “You…” He coughed and then smiled again, more self-conscious. “You do too.”

Thank you. I hope I look more alive, tonight. “Thank you. Can I…” Kiss you hello. “…can you just come inside the room for a second?”

He looked wary but willing, conscious of the same thing Marc was considering, which was the way the fabric of their suits was pretty much burning against their skin in an attempt to remind them that they wanted to fuck each other into oblivion, not that that was easily forgotten. “Ok.” He stepped inside, knowing what might be coming although hopefully not literally, yet, and smiled as Marc’s eyes lit up with relief and hope at the gesture.

We’re going to be ok. He kept his eyes trained on Dani’s and then stepped forward slowly, pausing with their lips a few inches apart, and then kissed him, softly, just to say hello. And everything else. I hope. He hovered in close as he pulled away, both breathless by being so close together again, and then smiled and locked his eyes on the wildcard rider’s. “I think the formal dinner idea was amazing.”

“Me too. It feels weird, but…it feels like…we’re doing something important.”

Marc nodded and smiled, grabbing his hands in his own and squeezing. “We are. I think this is probably the most important night of my life.”

Me too.

*

The restaurant was in Cádiz, on the seafront, space from the track important to retain their privacy, although Marc’s face was known to a small minority now, Dani at least was still anonymous and the risk wasn’t too big. It existed, but it wasn’t too big to be beaten. Like the problems we’re going to talk about, starting now.

Marc in a suit was something incredibly special. Dani could almost concentrate on nothing else, just the fabric and the way he moved underneath it, the way he looked somehow younger but older at the same time, the way the collar and sleeves and everything rustled ever so slightly when he moved, the way his watch flashed from the sleeve, the way the white of his shirt brought out the tan on his neck and the black of the tie brought out the dark in his eyes, shining at him across the table like they were on fire. Even just the plain white shirt once he’d taken the jacket off was one of the great wonders of the world.

*

Marc felt like he was in the most pleasurable electric chair in the world, looking at Dani in his shirt and formality, all for him and only him, perfection buttoned up just far enough, the warm night cocooning them in a little bit of space and peace carved from the race weekend, stars the most incredible stage lighting he could imagine, candle on the table reflecting and flashing in Dani’s eyes. God. And one day, we’ll be wearing suits somewhere else, too. When we’re exchanging rings. They’d never specifically talked about it, but they’d both seemed to have assumed that it was going to happen at some point. And Marc had, before everything went wrong, been thinking about buying a ring and asking him. Because he knew neither of them were ready for the day itself, but they were ready to see that on each other’s hands; the promise made visible and metal, sat there saying more that it could ever have space for those words to be engraved on it. But then you weren’t very straight with me, and I wasn’t very smart, nice, or forgiving. And we crashed and burned. Literally.

They talked about normal things at first, defrosting their nerves and trying to find that sweet spot where everything was as it should be – Marc and Dani sat having dinner, the perfect couple they should never have stopped being – and eventually, the conversation got more serious and moved into the territory they’d intended to conquer: what do you know? Where do we go? Are we…what are we?

“Dani?”

“Hmm?”

“I…” He trailed off and took a sip of red wine, lips tinted instantly, tongue brushing lightly over them, nerves ignited. “I really mean it when I say I’m sorry. And…last night, maybe I was a bit fragile.” If I’d broken down like that in front of anyone but you or Alex, I’d have to leave the country for being so embarrassed. But it was you. And you just caught me and propped me back up and all that makes me feel is love. “You know. And I…I shouldn’t have asked you to…help me. I think that was unfair, because it was meant to be-“

“That’s what we are.” The older man leaned over the table slightly closer and laced their fingers together, looking down at their hands as he did and smiling before locking their eyes again. “You weren’t being selfish.”

Marc swallowed nervously and shrugged, taking a little breath. “Not on purpose. I…I needed it. You.”

“I know.” Dani nodded and squeezed his hand reassuringly. “I understand.”

I know you do. “Good. Just checking we still get that.”

“We’ll always get that.” If I have anything to do with it. “Now…what…I mean…we need to talk, yeah? Calm and honest. Just…talk, no arguing, no crying…just honest. Sound ok?”

“Yeah.” Marc nodded and squeezed his hand. “More than ok.”

“Right.” He took a deep breath and then nodded, readying himself. “I think I’m angry at the situation. Partly at you, too. Because like I said…it shouldn’t be May, should it?” He took his hand back, slightly sadly, and Marc felt his heart crack faintly as he was reminded that not everything was as perfect as the vision before him. “It shouldn’t be Jerez. It should be the day after. Maybe a few days. But it shouldn’t be May.”

“No.” He gulped and shook his head. “It shouldn’t be May. It should be rewindable. I should have…I should have banged on that door, gone inside, and talked instead of cried. I should have talked. Because then, when I went to sleep, I wouldn’t have been able to shut everything down. And I wouldn’t have got up half dead and made everything worse.”

“Watching you go was the worst moment of my life.”

“Feeling me go was the worst moment of my life.”

Dani smiled at that, faintly, and nodded. “Worse than being hit by a truck?”

“Worse than that. Thousands of times worse than that.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t follow you.”

“I’m sorry I made it like you had to.”

“I’m sorry I lied.”

Marc took a sharp breath at that, having been reasonably sure he knew that he knew about the reasons, but still surprised to hear it so honestly. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise.”

“I’m sorry I did such a good job of it when I thought you could see straight through me.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t think you’d listen.”

Correct. “I’m sorry I wouldn’t have listened.”

I knew it. And I love you for admitting it. “I’m sorry I was right.”

“I’m sorry I was so wrong.”

They looked at each other for a few seconds, the conversation seemingly so simplistic and childish, but actually pulling ton after ton of weight off their shoulders, every single line meant exactly as it was said, Dani keeping it rolling.

“I’m sorry I tried to take control.”

“I’m sorry I made that something you couldn’t be honest about.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there in Qatar to see the moment I’ve never been more proud of.”

“I’m sorry I made that an ultimatum.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t choose the option you wanted me to.”

“I’m sorry I had her on the grid.”

“I’m sorry you did, too.” Dani smiled at him and took a sip of wine, eyes shining back at him over the glass, first hint of something slightly cheekier in there. “I’m sorry I slept with 3 other people when we were apart.”

When we WERE. “I’m sorry I slept with…” Marc trailed off and went slightly red, fingers actually twitching slightly as he counted. Cough. “11 other people.”

“I’m sorry I fell in love with a whore.”

“I’m sorry I was a whore.”

“I’m sorry about that, too.” Dani smiled at him and laughed slightly. “I’m sorry but you’re going to have to get tested before we do much…”

The definitive when implied in the words made Marc instantly feel high and dizzy and everything else, everything he was desperately trying to grab suddenly seeming to be hovering right in front of him, more than within reach. He got to his feet, Dani’s eyes making the journey up his torso slowly, and made as if to leave. “Ok, I’ll be back in a few minutes…”

The older rider smiled at him and affectionately shook his head, grabbing his hand and pulling him back down, not letting go this time. “Not tonight.”

“I know.” The humour cracked slightly and Marc nodded. “I know, not tonight. Not yet. But…”

“But…yeah.”

“Good. I’m sorry I spent so long being a coward. That’s why it’s May.”

“I’m sorry I let you think I was a coward for so long.”

“I’m sorry I ever thought you could be.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t just remind you that you’re not a coward, you’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met.”

“I’m sorry if I cry because you seem to be taking me back.” And because you say things like that.

“I’m sorry we ever ended up where we had to do this.”

“I’m sorry about that, too.” Marc squeezed his hand and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I can’t live without you.”

“I’m sorry I thought you’d be able to.”

“I’m sorry I thought you were doing just that.”

Dani looked at him again, properly, and nodded, taking another deep breath and wondering what the reaction to the next one would be. Honest. That’s why we’re here.

“I’m sorry that I would do it all again if I had to.”

Chapter Text

There were a few seconds of silence as Marc took that in, slightly shocked, looking down at the table and frowning, brain rushing through the conflicting sides of I wouldn’t have listened, but you shouldn’t have lied, but I wouldn’t have listened. “You mean…you’d lie.”

“Yes. I would lie. I would lie and you’ve already told me you would never have listened.”

“That’s true.” That hurts, but the truth can. “I wouldn’t have listened. But I don’t know what…what that means. Now. From now on...”

“Do you still trust me?”

“What do you think?”

“I honestly have no idea.”

“I trust that you love me more than you love yourself.” He looked up and stared at him. “Is that enough?”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Well I’m not sure. Yes? I think.” He cleared his throat and sighed. “Do you trust me?”

“You didn’t lie. So yes. I’ve always trusted you.”

“Good. Do you trust that I learnt something really important from this?”

“What’s that?”

“I learnt that when two people have a say in the decision, you have to understand that. Sounds really simple. But…this. Ok, so…you had motives. But even if you hadn’t…if you’d just been scared…it’s not up to me what you feel comfortable doing or not doing. It’s up to you. And I love you. So I don’t know why that was so hard to understand or why I made it into what it became.”

“I love you, too.” And I can imagine having felt the same. Dani squeezed his hand and then lifted it towards his mouth to kiss it. “And you can trust me.”

“Can I?” The way he said it, dead serious, eyes levelled at him and making him perfectly aware of how much was hanging on the answer, made Dani bite his lip and nod. Although you’re asking me now and I know you’ll believe me so we have an answer right there.

“You can. Because I learnt that it’s not up to me either. So…I mean…I’m never going to cheat. I’m never going to do anything like that, you know that.” He watched as Marc nodded without a second thought and smiled at him. “But I’ll never do anything like this, either. Especially now. We both learnt, right?”

“We did.”

“I think…I just can’t stand the thought of you losing your chance. Ok? It makes me so, so angry, believe me. I know in Cervera and at first I was the scared one and you were such a small town rockstar and you don’t care what people think…well now, I don’t care what people think, either. But there’s a difference between caring what people think and knowing how that could damage you. And this…what you’ve already achieved…sometimes that’s enough to make me cry on its own, because it’s incredible. Take it from someone who knows, don’t ever let yourself get pushed backwards.”

Marc took that in, nodding, and then swallowed, hard, and took a deep breath. “Dani?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve already asked you this once before I fucked it up. Would you do me the honour of being my boyfriend?”

Next time we have a question like that, I’m asking it. “Yes.”

The younger rider let out a breath he’d not really known he was holding, this time no petulance like the first time, even more nerves but no Pedrosa teasing at all, grabbing Dani’s tie across the table top and pulling him half way so he could whack a messy kiss on his lips, both of them sitting back down breathless and staring at each other, air between them charged and crackling. Marc left it a few seconds before smiling again and taking his hand. “So…we’re back together?” We’re back together.

“We’re back together. But-“

We’re back together. “But we have a few more things to learn, still.”

“Yeah. We’re going to take it slow. If that’s ok?”

“Perfect. I want you. So whatever you want, we’ll do.” Marc nodded at him and then traced the journey of the waiter back to their table with his eyes. “Now I’m paying, because I asked you out to dinner and I’m not poor anymore. And you aren’t going to complain.”

“Ok.” Dani grinned and shrugged, happy enough with that. “That’s ok. This time.”

This time. “Good.” Marc did as he’d said, left a large-ish tip, and then got to his feet, mirrored by Dani, both of them pulling on their jackets and enjoying the view. “Ok, now…how angry will you be if we get our nice shoes sandy?”

A moonlit walk on the beach. One of the things we’ve not done yet. “Very, very happy.”

Marc stood and nodded at him, grinning, before holding out his hand and feeling himself fizz as the older rider took it, melting into the shadows as they left the restaurant, then lit up again as they passed under a streetlight, then back into the darkness as they took the few steps down onto the sand and vanished from view, making a path down towards the water that was shimmering back at them, light dancing across it as it moved.

“You just have to promise me one thing.”

“Hmm?”

“I’m awake. Right now, I’m awake.” Marc stopped them and stared up at the sky, stars all clear from cloud, and then turned to the older rider and pulled him in, arms round his waist, eyes locked on his, both of them able to see just enough in the moonlight. “Because if this is a dream, I am fucked.”

Dani laughed and nodded, definitely more than agreeing with the sentiment. “It’s not a dream. Well…it’s not the kind of dream you have when you’re asleep.”

How have I been alive without you. “Good. Can I kiss you?”

“You don’t have to ask. Slow just means slow. Not nothing.”

“Ok.”

“Come on, then.”

“Ok! I’m nervous.”

Dani welded them further together and raised an eyebrow. “Babe, we’ve done this millions of times and it’s going to be as good as every one of those.”

“Ok. I’ll hold you to that.” Marc finally moved through the space between them, slowly, and pressed their lips together. Gentle, then more, then tongues, breath hot and gasping as the desperation got more and more, hands creasing the fabric of their jackets, time passing somewhere between a minute and 40, remembering each other and discovering every new millimetre and taste as the clocked ticked on, completely unaware of the world around them, focused only on the feeling of being back.

“You lied again.” Marc finally broke them apart and grinned at him, gulping down air and eyes not leaving his boyfriend’s for a second. “It’s even better.”

*

They sat on the sand, on their expensive and now more-than-in-need-of-laundering jackets, and shared a cigarette, talking some more, Dani realising and mentioning with a wry smile that, despite his earlier plan, it would probably be better to buy Emilio the biggest present he could find rather than end his life, the weight off his shoulders at the truth being out more than what he could have hoped for. He was still angry, and Marc was still feeling slightly disenfranchised by everything, but both feelings were being attacked by two things: Marc had found out the truth and had taken it calmly, and thought about it and understood it and admitted he may have been right, which said more than enough, and Dani had felt his advice received and accepted and maybe even agreed with. Definitely. Right?

“You know…” The older rider sighed happily and wound his arm round Marc’s waist. “This is going to be really difficult.”

“What is?”

“Don’t panic.” He looked back at Marc and smiled at the tone, shaking his head. “I think we’re going to be ok. That bit’s going to be hard enough to require some effort but not too much. I mean…keeping it secret.”

“Hmm.”

“You still don’t like the idea.” Fuck.

“I still fucking hate the idea.”

“But you’re on board?” He felt his heart start to sink as Marc didn’t look back at him, resolutely staring at the sea. Please tell me you’re on board. “Marc?”

“Hmm.” The younger rider sighed and shrugged, slowly starting to nod. “I hate it.”

“I hate it too and I always have.”

“I really hate it.”

“I know.” He rubbed his hand over the small of his back and felt himself relax again as Marc leant against him, head on his shoulder.

“But…you’re a sensible person. Well, nowadays…you’re a sensible person.” Dani could feel the smile and was surprised it didn’t shine a spotlight over the water in front of them. “So I trust your opinion. And on top of that, I trust Emilio. And he agrees with you.”

“And Alex.”

“Hmm?”

“Alex agrees.”

“So the three best people in my life agree.”

Dani smiled and squeezed him slightly, nodding. “And Jorge. Although he’s not on the same list.”

Marc laughed and shrugged. “Maybe he is. I think I’ve been a bit of a dick to him, just sort of took the money and ran after everything that’s happened.”

“I don’t think he gives a shit because you’ve had a lot of TV time.”

Another laugh. “Well that’s fine then.”

“And he can forgive. Maybe not forget…but he can forgive.”

“That’s the most important.”

Yes it is.

They sat there for another few minutes of comfortable silence, prolonging the moment, knowing soon they had to leave, before Dani broke the quiet and nudged him slightly.

“Marc?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you an unrelated question?”

“Anything.”

“How the fuck did you put it on the front row?”

The younger rider laughed and shrugged, face half arrogance and half humility. “Ha! Talent. Pure talent.”

“Well, I know that-“

“Joking!” He grinned and shrugged at Dani’s knowing eye rolling. “But I think…because I woke up feeling free to let my mind go wherever it wants without being scared what I’ll find.” He looked out at the water before turning back to the older rider and grinning. “So maybe in terms of a battle on track, personal and private are separate. But…in terms of being able to ride like I should…they really aren’t.”

“Uff I feel the pressure!”

“Says Mr Wildcard on the third row.”

“Yeah, exactly! How did you get it set up right?”

“We didn’t. Not yet. Nowhere near enough time. But we know what the problems are, or…well, we know the results of whatever problems we haven’t found yet. So I just kept that in my head and remembered it.”

“So the bike’s not great?”

“Nope. It’s ok. Santi is amazing. The whole team…they really know what they’re doing. But it could be a lot better. Just got to ride around it. When you know you’re not going to have much rear grip, think about it and what you can do on the bike to help the bike.”

“Hmm.”

“How about you? Third row.” Marc nudged him back and grinned. “I’m so proud of you. I thought looking at Alex I was getting worryingly parental but it’s not that. You make me feel the same way.”

Awww. Squeeze. “Worryingly parental?”

“Yeah! I’m his brother. Maybe I forgot that a bit when I was paying all the bills and watching him get knocked off.”

That’s a good point, actually. “Maybe. A bit, but in a good way. What about your parents? They’re not here?”

“No, they’re not.” Marc sighed and shrugged. “Not in a bad way. It got so much better – you know that – after we told them and everything sunk in. I think seeing me with you – and seeing the fact that another rider had made it to 28 without being hit by freak accidents – helped a lot. But…ok…don’t be…I don’t know. We’re still on honesty with no consequences?”

“That’s our default setting from now on.”

“Good. Ok.” He smiled and put his head back on Dani’s shoulder. “I took Eva home for Christmas. Which doesn’t sound too bad…but…urgghhhh.” He made an ‘eek’ face and looked up. “I took her home for Christmas and made no effort to pretend I wasn’t fucking her brains out in my old room and not in any way in love with her. And I drank. And smoked. And was just generally…a complete dick.”

Oh dear. Dani chuckled slightly to himself, imagining the image of that. “Ah. Well…you’d probably better tell them, then. And apologise.”

“Yup. I will.”

“Good. Think they’ll be glad we’re back?”

“I think after meeting you a few times and seeing us together, they’d realised the same thing I have, that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Same. “So…hopefully a yes?”

Marc laughed and smacked him slightly on the leg. “Definitely a yes. Everyone wanted you back. The team, my family, my friends…the guys at Rufea. Where, incidentally, I hear you BEAT ME?!”

“Ha. YES. I did. Consider it a challenge.”

“Oh I ACCEPT.”

“Good!” Dani pressed a kiss to the top of his head and smiled. Marc. This is Marc. “I know Alex wanted me back with you.”

“Man, Alex loves you. Seriously. He told me I was his hero, and that was amazing. But have you noticed?”

“Noticed?”

“Yeah, noticed the way he rides.”

“Not really…I mean, not intently.”

“Well I may be his hero off-track, but…on-track, he completely fucking ignores me! He rides like you. Or, he’s starting to.”

“Do I ride in a certain way?”

“Well I ride like I’m trying to stay on a bucking bronco. You ride like you had a nice conversation with the bronco before the race and calmed it down.”

Dani laughed and gave it a few seconds thought before starting to nod. “Maybe you’re right.”

“I’m always right.”

“Except for everything in the last 5 months?”

“Yup.” Marc grinned and poked him in the ribs. “Except for that whole 5 months.”

“Well nobody’s perfect.”

“Maybe. But it’s worth trying to be.”

It’s always worth trying. The older rider nodded and then gently nudged Marc upright, really not wanting to but aware of the time. “Ok, we’d probably better go.”

The younger rider sat himself back up and nodded, sighing but accepting, smiling back at him. “We had. We have to sleep one more time before I beat you.”

“Oh, there’ll be more sleeps before you beat me, sunshine.”

“Oh really?” Marc sat up on his knees and pulled Dani in for one last moonlit kiss. “Think you can take me on?”

“Yes.”

“That sounds more convincing when you’re wearing a suit. Well, half a suit.”

“Get used to it. Maybe I’ll wear it under my leathers.”

“And then let me slowly peel them off…?” He grinned back at him and raised an eyebrow. “If I can convince the Clinica Mobile that my bike might have given me sexually transmitted diseases?”

You actually would as well. “Maybe! But I’m not promising anything.”

“I know.” Marc went back to serious for a second and looked at him, eyes wide and trusting, nodding. “I can wait as long as you want.”

Dani smiled at him, repeating Marc’s trick from earlier and pulling his face closer with his tie, and kissed him again, lips then pressed against his ear. “That won’t be very long.”

“Good.”

*

“So this is goodnight.”

Back in the hotel corridor outside Marc’s room, sand trailed behind them every step of the way from the beach back to the hotel, rumpled and nowhere near as James Bond as when they’d set off, eyes shining like teenagers coming back from their first date.

“It is. I would kiss you but we’re in public.”

“I know. And I understand.”

“Good.” Dani reached out and squeezed his hand before letting go and taking a step back. “Love you. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You will. Race day.”

“Race day. Save me a space on the podium?”

“Get it yourself!”

The older rider smiled at that and nodded before turning and starting to walk off down the corridor, same as the first time he’d dropped Marc off at his house and ridden away, knowing each movement would be watched until he turned the corner out of sight.

Goodnight.

He got back to his room, hung the jacket on the back of the door, and then finally let himself grin, so much he thought his face was going to break, before his phone went.

Marc: I love you, too. Sleep well xxx

And then grin some more.

*

Marc leant against the interior of his now closed door and slowly sunk down to the floor, some little remnants of sand showering down around him, and then put his head in his hands.

Unbelievable.

He pulled out his phone, about to have yelled I love you too down the corridor before he’d realised they were in public, and made sure he said it somehow, before going back to the pose of before, completely and blissfully overwhelmed.

Goodnight.

Chapter Text

“Urgh.” Marc growled and rolled over, part of him automatically feeling out across the bed for Dani and feeling the disappointment hit him as his brain remembered the last few months, then feeling himself grin as he remembered the night before. Soon, I’ll reach out and you’ll actually be there. He whacked his phone off, serving as an alarm clock, and then dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom, naked, walking back into the room to grab the phone and take it with him, turning on the shower to heat up before typing a quick message.

Marc: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP IT’S RACE DAY

He smiled to himself and started to put it down before the response came incredibly quickly.

Dani: I’M AWAKE I’M AWAKE I KNOW!

Oh. Well, beaten me at one thing already today.

Marc: GOOD! Breakfast? Me and Alex will be down there in 25 minutes.

Dani: Hmmmmmmmmmm fooooood

Marc: Ok you lied and you just woke up :P

Dani: Naybe

Dani: Fuck…MAYBE ;)

Marc grinned to himself and nodded. Definitely.

Marc: I can’t begin to imagine how cute your little scowling face is right now ♥ :P

Dani: I’m in pain. Someone turned the sun on :/

Cute cute cute and please PLEASE soon let me see this again.

Marc: Awwwww baby it’s ok, that’s what’s supposed to happen!

Dani: Heard that before ;) …ok I’m in the bathroom. Mostly.

Marc: Mostly? There’s not a lot of you… ;) jajaja :P

Dani: I REALLY HOPE THAT WAS A HEIGHT JOKE

Marc: Oh you know it was. ;) Don’t think you have to worry… ;)

Dani: Are you trying to make me late?

Marc: Need to slow you down.

Dani: No you don’t! :P And ok I’m getting in the shower now. If I’m not there in 20 minutes it’s because I had to “deal with” the images you’re putting in my head :P ;)

“Ooooooh.”

The noise, although it came from his own mouth, made him jump and then go slightly red. We are BACK TOGETHER. PROPERLY.

Marc: Remember to call my name ;)

Dani: Jaja I actually did that to someone :P

Marc: OUCCHHH! He must have been good… ;) jajaja

Dani: SHE really wasn’t. That’s why my mind wandered a bit.

Dani: A lot.

Dani: First stop, Marc. As always. ;) ♥

Marc: I’m conflicted about that but LOVE YOU TOO now GET IN THE SHOWER

Dani: SAME TO YOU, IDIOT.

Marc: Ignoring that too but also Alex doesn’t know…so…that will be fun :D

Dani: Not more games…

Marc: No! I meant that genuinely! He’s going to be grinning all day :D

Dani: Like me. :D

*

Marc and Alex beat him there, although not by enough for Marc to start conjuring up explicit daydreams at the table to explain his absence, and he sat down in front of them with a quick smile at each, as though that was normal, before Alex put his spoon down and stared between them.

“Argh! Guys?!”

“Hmm?” Mirrored, obviously lying and amused innocent faces looked back at him. “What?”

“DON’T LIE TO ME.” He hissed it and bent down over the table slightly, grinning. “YOU’RE BACK!”

“Do you know what he’s talking about?” Dani frowned back at his boyfriend and shrugged, shaking his head.

“No idea. You?”

“Well…I think…and this is just an idea…” Marc smiled at him and took a breath, mirroring his brother’s quiet hiss across the table top. “I think he might know about that guy I took to dinner last night. You know, the love of my life.”

“Shit, really?” The smaller rider grinned and drank in the eye contact, enjoying the words love of my life more than he ever had before, despite hearing them more than enough. “Well this is awkward…” He grinned at Marc and they both turned to Alex in time to see the youngest one at the table’s mouth drop open, fists clenched excitedly.

“ARGH!!!!” The younger Marquez grinned and almost jumped up and down in the chair, earning a few looks, the best of which came from a very newly awoken Tito Rabat, who seemed to be looking for the meaning of life in the bottom of their souls, flummoxed by the screaming Alex. Marc smiled at him, shrugging and then grinning wider as the older Spaniard realised he was being obvious, and then leant slightly towards their table.

“Sorry. We’ve been feeding him too much lately.”

The Marc VDS rider seemed to have no clue how to take that, before grinning at him and settling for a laugh. Warm, but puzzled. “Ok.”

“Tito, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Marc.” The CatCaixa rider extended his hand and shook the Manresa native’s firmly. “I think this is the first time we’ve actually spoken.”

“I think so.”

“Probably my fault. Tough start to the year.” Being an idiot.

“I know, I saw.” The older smiled and then looked back at Alex and then Dani, wondering what to say, before settling for something simple. “You go up to Rufea a lot, right?”

“Yeah! Argh I knew I knew you more than just from here. I stole your record, before he stole mine.” Marc grinned and pointed at a slightly blushing Pedrosa. “Sorry to remind you…”

“That’s ok, I’ll get it back.” Another smile, this one less wary and much more relaxed. “We should go up there and make it a proper race…”

“WE SHOULD.” Marc grinned and nodded before they both turned back to their respective tables and carried on, Dani watching Marc closely, not jealous, more interested in taking in the details of how he was with other people, the subtle differences between how he spoke to Tito and how he spoke to him more than obvious.

“Marc?”

“Yeah?”

“I got you a present.”

“Ooh!”

Dani smiled at him, nodding, and then plonked 6 little packets of Nutella on the table, causing the brothers to both repeat the ARGH of a minute earlier, turning to each other and grinning.

“DANIEL PEDROSA, I LOVE YOU!”

“Shhhh!” Dani’s eyes widened in half glee, half horror.

“Hey.” Marc leaned in again, voice quiet, and grinned. “Nobody knows I mean I actually love you.” He smiled again before grabbing 3 for himself and putting the other 3 in front of Alex. “But I really, really do.”

*

Warm Up saw them all end up in the same place, pretty much, Alex P3, Marc P3 and Dani P4. No incidents, and the two who had bothered with Friday made some small improvements to their bikes, leaving Marc the only one still feeling nervous about his set-up. But then, as he’d already said, that didn’t have to be a disaster if he didn’t let it be. Good advice for life, that.

“Right, 20 minutes to pitlane opening.” Emilio nudged him and pointed back out the garage. “Go and see Dani.”

Go and see Dani. I will. Marc grinned and nodded at him, trying to control himself to a light jog, leathers hanging free from his waist, Dani’s the same once they found each other, careful to not be observed going into the room.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Marc crossed the space between them and wound his hands around his waist, lips pressed against his. “I am so nervous.”

“Me too, me too.” The older rider nodded at him before running his hands through Marc’s hair and smiling, cupping his face. “But we can do this. We’re meant to do this.”

We are. Like I told you all that time ago. ‘It’s just what we’re supposed to be doing.’ “True. Thank you.”

“No, thank you.” He smiled and went for one last kiss. “You’re the reason why I’m here.”

“Same.”

I guess that’s actually true, now. “Ok. Now…I’ll see you on the podium. Right?”

“You will.” Marc grinned and nodded. “You will see me on the podium. Please don’t crash.”

“Says YOU.” The older laughed to himself slightly and grinned as Marc rolled his eyes, hands still round his face. “Don’t you crash. I can’t take that again.”

“Ok.” Marc nodded and took a deep breath, faces still incredibly close together, and traced his boyfriend's lips with the tip of his tongue before closing his eyes and clasping his hands around Dani’s forearms, the older rider pressing a kiss to the center of his forehead. “It feels like we’re going to war.”

“Maybe a bit.”

Marc smiled to himself and nodded before finally opening his eyes and locked their gazes together, intensity = maximum. “Well it’s a war we’re going to win.”

*

“I’m looking for Marc.”

Everyone, everyone in the garage looked up immediately and stared, wide eyed. “Hmm?”

“Marc, I want to talk to Marc?”

Emilio looked around him, realised everyone else was too OH MY GOD to deal with it, and stepped forward. “Marc’s not here. He’ll be back in a minute. Want to wait?” Sorry he’s with his boyfriend. Like you will be with yours, soon. He grinned at that internal monologue and raised his eyebrows, waiting for a response.

“Ok. Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Luckily, the awkward wait was only 2 minutes long, and the Moto2 rider walked back into the back of the garage almost bouncing before freezing on the spot, head pivoting to look at Emilio with an oh my God what the fuck kind of expression. The manager smiled and shrugged ever-so-slightly. No idea.

“Hi…?”

“Hello. I want to come and say ‘good luck’ for the race.”

WHAT?! Wow. “O-ok…th-thank you?”

“No problem. And er, how you say…” He paused and frowned, trying to think up the English, before Marc remembered his voice and coughed.

“Parlo italiano.”

Valentino’s eyes lit up and he smiled again, switching back to his native language. “Oh, great. Well, I wanted to tell you to be careful. And to not lose my any more money, you’re too expensive.”

Of course. “Ha! You still bet on me?” You still believe?

“Yeah! And if you can put it on the front row after missing Friday you can make it onto the podium now, eh?”

“Maybe.” Marc grinned and took a deep breath, mesmerized and flattered at the same time. “I’ll try.”

“Try is good. I will is better.” The Italian smiled and then held out his hand to shake Marc’s. “I hope your ‘personal problems’ are ok, now?”

“Yeah.” At least try and sound normal. “Thanks, they’re more than ok.”

Vale seemed to hear the tone in that and raised his eyebrows, smiling. “Ah. Ok. I think I understand.”

“Really?”

Yes, kid. REALLY. “Yeah, I think so. So we’ve got the real Marc Marquez back, now?”

Marc took the energy drink he was offered and nodded, same kind of deliciously evil sparkle in his eyes that he could see in those of the legend in front of him, and nodded.

“Yes.”

I like you.

*

Alex had come fifth in his race, very unhappy about it, and had to be talked to by Alicia for a good 10 minutes before he was happy enough to drag them to Marc’s garage to watch his brother’s race. But he did, and he realised what Marc’s forearm must go through during his races, because the girl’s grip was like a vice and a Boa Constrictor in one. But that was ok. Just about. Because it was a more than valid reaction to the racing on screen.

*

Marc’s start actually wasn’t the disaster it usually was, and he found himself P4 after the first corner, everything except the track blacked out, nothing waiting in the back of his mind to pounce on him and throw him on the floor. He knew that his advantage would be in the rhythm he could keep, despite the problems with the bike, and so sat there for a good few laps, thoughts eventually turning to Dani and where he might be. He wasn’t right behind him, because there was a little gap, but he reasoned he couldn’t be far off. Of everyone on the grid, the wildcard rider was the one who’d set the most consistently fast pace in practice, much to the amusement and pride of everyone in his garage, and Marc.

Dani’s start was a Marquez special. After starting 8th, he’d expected maybe to be heading round Turn 1 in 6th-ish, but the reality when he saw the pit board made him grit his teeth. The bike had bogged down off the line, and he was languishing in 13th, tagged onto the back of a group of 4 headed by the Mallorcan on the Pons bike whose name had escaped him. Just don’t panic. Calm. He concentrated on feeling comfortable over a few laps, testing where he could push and where he couldn’t, and then prepared some sort of plan. The details of which were mostly just CHARGE.

Marc’s group of 4 had become 3 by mid-race, Aegerter unable to keep the rhythm and leaving Marc chasing the 2 Marc VDS riders, about 4 tenths off Rabat, the roaring through Nieto and Peluquí making him catch them by a couple every time round before he dropped off, although aware it was probably for his compatriot, who was duelling for the lead and the title, already. But I’ll take it. The pace wasn’t actually as hot as he’d expected, the two in front getting in each other’s way a fair few times, and he took the opportunity to watch and wait and learn, sitting up again at the end of the straight and daring a look at the screen to check where Dani was. 8th. Not bad. Holding station.

Dani’s plan got him as far as that before he felt the first nerves start to kick in. He was running out of laps, and he was now running in a group of riders who were going to be steadfastly intent on not letting him get away, Viñales leading Aegerter, Corsi and Cortese. Cortese was first on the list, and to his surprise he found the German an easier target than his Moto3 reputation suggested, getting past into Turn 1 and never getting bothered again, the German dropping further back by the end of the lap. And now you. The Roman had a reputation that was the exact opposite of the way Dani rode, and he kept that in the forefront of his mind as he was observing the riders in front of him, the urgency dispelled somewhat when his pitboard told him their group was actually catching the one with Marc as rear gunner. The leading group. So he bode his time, picked what he thought was the perfect place for Corsi to never attempt a quick taking-back of the position, and then felt some of his paint and nerves violently scraped off him as the Roman did just that. FUCK YOU. He growled to himself in his helmet and then got his head down, the re-run of the move leaving zero option for a quick switch-back, and tagged onto the back of Aegerter, braking ridiculously bravely and late into the final corner to bridge the gap.

*

“I think today you owe me money again.”

Argghh. “I didn’t realise the rules meant you could talk to your guy before?”

“Nobody made the rules.” The Italian grinned and raised his eyebrows. “So I did.”

*

He’s coming. The gap was coming down on the pit board, and the flash of yellow as the leading Pons bike caught them through that stadium section was now actually visible as they were exiting. They’re coming. Because if I’m not very much mistaken, that’s DANI. He smiled to himself under the helmet, wondering whether he should wait for a tag team effort from his boyfriend, the Marc VDS war still slowing him up, before deciding that was either too risky or too arrogant. Or both. Or same thing. So he didn’t sit up down the straight. And he got past the Spaniard and the Finn both in one move into the final corner, heart racing, noise of the crowd ringing in his ears, before feeling himself cringe slightly as he realised the aftermath, only fresh air behind him. Oops.

But also YES.

Aegerter went for the same move Marc had, except his target was only one rider. And he pulled it off a lot less violently than Dani’s boyfriend had managed to. The move in front of them had left Kallio pushed very violently wide from the lead by Marc, the Catalunya Caixa rider braking like he wouldn’t ever have the chance again and knowing it was a case of sit up or be sat up, and Kallio going wide gave Rabat a quick-thinking chance to follow Marc in and grab the inside line, who then pushed his teammate even wider as he overdid it slightly, both the riders forced to sit up and look back, cruising round the asphalt on the outside of the corner, domino effect of the flurry of overtaking leaving more than a few angry growls and chips of paint on the track behind them. The gap between the groups that had been a maybe was now a hello, we’re right here, and Aegerter went down the inside of Viñales, overdid that and shot across in front of him before having to slam on the brakes to avoid the swearing Marc VDS riders almost parked on the outside of the corner. Viñales had to brake to allow the errant Swiss rider to remain upright, but less than the others, line forced wider but not into the almost-pile-up, cutting back in, more prepared after having seen the carnage already ahead, and Dani realised as he sneaked past the Paginas Amarillas livery with no drama, line out smooth and gas pulling him away from them before he braked into Turn 1 that, if he could count correctly, he was now second. But the cabroncito has gone.

*

“He needs to be careful.”

“You think that was too far?”

“They touched. Kallio almost came off.”

“Is that the only thing that matters?” Livio raised an eyebrow and waited for the inevitable reply.

“Yes.” Casey raised his eyebrows at his boss in return and nodded, cynicism out full-force. “And I think you’d agree if you were sponsored by a Finnish company rather than Repsol.”

*

Marc’s flash of guilt at the light bang of his attack for the lead, and the bang-bang-bang of the consequences, vanished almost instantaneously, the feeling of being in the lead more than enough to make it almost slightly funny after a few corners. It wasn’t too bad. Right? He took the last four laps at a pace that he knew couldn’t make him fall off, before realising again through Nieto and Peluquí that the bike chasing him, and catching him, was Dani. You little fucker. He grinned to himself at the roar of the crowd, now loud enough for him to realise, in his solitude at the front, that it was for him, and crossed the line in a daze.

I won.

Dani could see Marc was relaxed over the last few laps, knowing it was in the bag, concentrating on keeping a sensible gap and staying on the bike. Dani’s last 3 laps were the most intense experience of his life, not counting whenever him and Marc had been awake and in bed. The domino incident had supercharged everyone behind him into a frenzy, and a few times he could have sworn he actually heard Viñales yelling from right behind him. But he concentrated, and he made his markers count every time round, and he crossed the line a tenth clear of the screaming mob.

I’m on the podium.

He slowed down and sat up, too many emotions running though him to process, and then found himself coming up fast on Marc, braking and falling into pace next to him, flipping up his visor.

“CONGRATULATIONS!”

The visor opposite him flipped up immediately to reveal tear filled, shiny eyes burning at him across the track, eye contact saying everything he needed to, pointing at Dani and eyes welling up further as his boyfriend raised 2 fingers to confirm where he’d come home.

And now we go back to Parc Fermé, hug like we’re casual friends, and spray each other with champagne.

The thought was enough for him to reach out and shake Marc’s hand, nodding at him, both sets of eyes grinning, before he flipped back into the peace of his helmet and left the young rider to cruise round and enjoy his victory lap, stopping in front of the crowd where he judged they’d been loudest and bowing.

And now I go back to Parc Fermé, we hug like we’re casual friends, and spray each other with champagne.

*

They did just that, and it was surprisingly ok. Maybe because the other guy with them up there was Tito, who both remembered fondly the breakfast conversation and had Marc to thank for whacking his teammate out of contention. So they celebrated, and Marc stood on the top step for the first time, national anthem shimmering across the heat haze of the unique track and atmosphere, both of them feeling that strange feeling that always appears when you’re suddenly in a dream you’ve had before but for real, caught between blissful belief and horrible doubt, expecting to wake up. But they didn’t wake up. They didn’t sleep until 6am. They watched the MotoGP race, cheering for very different parties, and Marc remembered the Valentino moment from earlier and told Dani about it, eyes just as amazed and appreciative as when it had happened. They organised to meet Tito at the track in Rufea on Wednesday, Alex took Alicia out to a nice restaurant in Cádiz that may or may not have been recommended by his brother after him and Dani tested it, and then finally it was Dani and Marc, alone, in an almost identical room to the last time they’d been holed up in deepest Andalucía, last remnants of the sun burning down into the horizon and leaving the air perfect for where they were sat; on the balcony side by side, leaning on the wall, legs bent at the knee.

“I won a race today.”

“You did.”

“And it was kind of ok. Being on the podium with you and not jumping you…”

“Well I can’t believe I was on the podium!”

Marc looked back at him and flicked the cigarette off the balcony. “Does what you said still count?”

Which bit. “What?”

“Two things.” He smiled cheekily and raised an eyebrow. “One, do we have to wait until I’ve been prodded and checked for horrible diseases, or will a condom do? And two…if that’s my last cigarette as someone who full-time smokes, do I get a kiss every time I get a craving?”

“One…well that depends on you. I trust you, so you tell me. Are you clean?”

“Yes." Marc took a deep breath and nodded, eye contact clear and definite. "I will double-double check. I slept with a fair few people but safely, I promise. You know how important to me you are, I wouldn’t-”

“Ok, well then…leave that with me for a few minutes and I’ll see how paranoid I feel. Second thing: Yes that’s very much still true. But maybe we should start tomorrow.” He grabbed his bottle of champagne and took another big swig, the contents long since flat, before lighting his own and giving Marc puppy dog eyes. “Plleaasseee?”

The younger rider stared back at him, laugh fading on his lips, the lighthearted mood suddenly cracked slightly and replaced with something more meaningful, and nodded. “Ok.”

Dani frowned at the change and then raised his eyebrows. “Just ok?”

“Exactly.” Marc took a deep breath and wound his arm around Dani’s knee, fingers brushing over his jeans. “It just keeps hitting me all at once. You, the win…a contract…Alex. My life. My life, Dani. It’s just all so far from ok. It’s amazing.”

I more than know what you mean. He rested his head on Marc’s shoulder and smiled as a kiss hit his hair. “I understand.”

“Sorry I’m being too serious.”

“YOU?!” The older rider laughed at the faint chuckle from his boyfriend and squeezed his hand. “Sometimes serious is important. So you remember that it can be.”

“Hmm.”

“And-“

“OH!” Marc sat up and turned to grin at him, Dani rolling his eyes at the classic Marc of the excited interruption. “Oh, sorry…”

“No, it’s ok. Carry on…”

“Sorry. But it is good.” He took a deep breath and felt into his pocket for something, pulling out a bit of paper. “You were on the podium.”

“Yeah…”

“Well you already know how proud I am, and how happy I am. But…” He grinned and unfolded it, holding it up to a very confused face reading Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya across the top.

“Do you want to ride in Montmeló?”

Chapter Text

Monday, 1130am

Marc rolled over in the way he’d become used to and hit a brick wall. Of skin. ARGH! DANI. DANI IS HERE. He grinned to himself, heart fluttering, and studied the little reactions on his boyfriend’s face as he woke up – fully – the impact having been enough to kick start it, and ran his index finger over his cheek, shadow chasing it as the sun streamed in through the balcony doors they’d apparently left open all night.

“Morning, my love.”

“Urrgghhhh.”

Marc laughed at that as his eyes finally flickered open, taking the initiative to attack him with a messy, gross-if-its-not-the-love-of-your-life kind of wake-up pre-toothbrush kiss, feeling the reaction go from tentative to awake to passionate, eventually pinned down and grinning.

“Good morning.”

Oh, you’re awake now. “Hey there. Sleep well?”

“Amazing.” The older rider nodded and pressed a line of kisses down Marc’s neck, ending on his collarbone, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as the groans and moans started to get louder, both of them already having to control the hip-jerk reactions of being so close together. “Because you’re here.”

“I know.” Marc ran his hands through his boyfriend’s hair and nodded. “I know..”

*

Sunday, 11pm

“I’m hungry.”

Obviously. “It’s been more than two hours without a meal, so yeah..”

“Pfff.” Marc smacked him on the arm and grinned. “Shhhh.”

“Shall I get room service?”

“Hmm. Please.” The younger rider got to his feet and stared down at where his boyfriend was now sat forlornly on the floor of the balcony looking up at him. God, I would jump of a cliff. And it wouldn’t even be a choice. I’m just obliged to do it.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to the bathroom, babe. Ok?”

“Hmm.” Sniff. “Ok.”

“If you want, I can just piss on you.”

“Too far.” Dani giggled and tried and failed to smack him as he skirted back inside. “Even for you, too far.”

*

Sunday, 1130pm

“Ok.” Marc half gently pushed, half violently kicked the room service tray out of their way. “I have energy now. And I didn’t have garlic…”

“No, you didn’t.” All these little hints are adorable. “Neither did I. Funny old world.”

“OK DANI. STOP IT.” Both tipsy by this point, Marc was becoming more of a pantomime version of himself, Dani more a giggly schoolgirl as his boyfriend turned and fixed him with a sexy, cute and slightly desperate glare. “I WANT TO FUCK YOU TONIGHT.”

“Shhh!”

“Jeje." Evil grin. "Everyone left! Except the stupid people who drove down here.”

“Still...”

“NO. Just tell me.” The younger rider was suddenly sat on Dani’s legs, hands in his hair, eyes staring closely into his. “Is it going to happen or not?”

“Hmmm…”

Marc seemed to realise the reticence was a game and growled, grinding himself down and making the squeakiest groan escape Dani’s mouth, staring at him with that same old evil glint in his eye before pressing his lips against his ear, alternating between breathing a word and nibbling his ear lobe. “Oh I see what you’re doing to me.”

“So do I.” The older rider grinned before snapping the button on Marc’s jeans open and looking down between them. “In full HD.”

“Don’t.” Marc took a breath, pressed their foreheads together, and then suddenly attacked him with a kiss, hearing the slightly cringe-inducing soft thud as Dani’s head hit the wall, then found himself pulled up off the floor, carried towards the bed and gently put down, the tone in his voice finding an agreeing ear: I’d rather love you.

“This has been too long.” Their eyes locked together, he smiled slightly sadly before crawling up the younger man slightly to pull of his t shirt, finger automatically tracing the scar, Marc’s breath quickening at the gentle, gentle touch and the path it diverted to, sound of the zipper making both of them smile to themselves, everything else forgotten.

“Dani?”

“Yeah?”

“I missed you.”

“I know.” He nodded and took a deep breath as delicate fingers hooked around the bottom of his t shirt, sitting up and on Marc’s waist to let him pull it free, fingertips tracing his little scars in return, hands eventually undoing his jeans and both of them freeing themselves of them, and boxers, so well-practiced that their mouths almost didn’t have to come apart at all.

They’d both expected themselves to suddenly snap at some point and just devour each other, but the slow, exacting pace of the first few minutes didn’t change at all, everything almost slow motion, slightly messy from the alcohol but nerves evaporated by the same, no rush and knowing there was no rush, because neither of them was going to go anywhere. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not the day after or after or after or ever. So every inch of skin was covered in a kiss or a bruise or just a tingle of what had passed over it, every memory rediscovered and new ones made, not all gentle but not desperate or rough, Dani grabbing hair and feeling his hair grabbed, feeling teeth graze his skin, fingernails digging in and blood on his tongue and scratches on his back, Marc a mirror of him, at least 20 minutes spent only using their mouths and hands to connect before Marc finally pulled away, eyes black and dark and burning, voice slightly hoarse, and let a smile tug at the corner of his mouth, forehead covered in a sheen of sweat, breath ragged but steady enough, control difficult but both aware that it was worth it because they’d made it over half an hour this far, and they could make it another one. “Ok.”

Ok. That’s all you have to say. Dani nodded back, smile mirrored, and blew the errant curl on his boyfriend’s forehead gently back, Marc smiling again and closing his eyes, so innocently and completely lost in the simple pleasure of it that Dani felt his heart grow a few centimetres in all directions, propped up and looking down at him, feeling Marc’s hands slowly move up his back, gentle again, teasing, making it as slow as it could be, up to his shoulders, down his upper arms to his forearms, gripping his wrists and turning his head as he somehow sensed Dani’s lips start to descend towards his, neck the new target, the hmmm from the older vibrating through the skin of the younger and creating a moan in return, tongue drawing tiny infinities over the skin that had started yesterday as it was ending today, the smooth replaced by the faintest stubble, making the tip of his tongue fizz as it moved. “I missed you too.”

Marc nodded and smiled again, eyes still closed, and then wrapped his legs around him, one after the other, friction back, crotch grinding against Dani’s, both of them groaning and growling, even that far enough to send them swearing quietly at each other, restraint making every new boundary crossed seemed like a 20ft wall, breath calm, eyes closed, until Dani broke another kiss to start the slow, purposeful journey from Marc’s mouth, over his neck again, down his chest, tongue flicking his nipple, carrying on, circling his belly button, pulse spiking as the younger rider’s breath caught in his throat, fingers back in Dani’s hair, grabbing as his mouth stopped just short, the pace torturous, smile on both their faces, Dani teasing, Marc waiting, lip bitten, until finally a long, slow “fuck” echoed towards the ceiling as his tongue circled Marc’s tip, gently, once, then waiting, waiting for his breath to go steady, and then again, listening to how the noise changed each time, how the desperation crept in as he realised quite how long this was going to go on for, writhing slightly despite trying not to, muscles twitching as he strained to try and pre-empt it, everything going tense as Dani finally swallowed him whole, pulling back millimetre by millimetre, teeth grazing gently, Marc’s back arching, eyes tightly shut, steady breath now impossible, every gasp in time with what Dani was doing, climax building so, so slowly that he thought he might be being thrown between heaven and hell between each tenth of a second.

“God.”

I know. And I’m doing it to you. “I know. Not yet.” Dani circled one last time, skin shivering as the younger rider whimpered as he pulled away, and returned his mouth to sender up the same slow path, belly button, nipple, collarbone, neck, jawline, lips, Marc’s open and waiting, teeth grabbing his bottom lip and not letting go until their eyes were open again, dark and black and stoned on each other, staring. “You or me?”

Wow. “I want to feel you.” The younger rider leaned up to whisper in his ear. “Inside me. Please.”

That look in your eyes when I let you choose... Dani nodded at him and kept their eyes locked together as he started to follow the same route with his index finger, smiling lazily at the flash of pleasure as he started to open him up, one finger Marc able to keep looking at him, two sending his eyes rolling back in his head, back arched towards him, three creating a low, guttural moan as he gave in and shut his eyes, everything trembling at the sensory overload of how much he needed it now and how much he could imagine it as a heaven stretching on forever. “Fuck. FUCK.”

Dani was faintly aware he chuckled slightly at that, concentrating too much on Marc’s face to pay attention to himself, the bead of sweat rolling from his forehead on the right, the hair stuck down on the left, the nostrils flaring in the center, the lip swollen and bitten and tempting under that, chest heaving and neck taught, forced back into the pillow. It’s like watching a building demolition in slow motion. He finally crooked his finger and smiled as that sent a wave of muscle spasm through the younger rider, not a growl anymore, a desperate, mid-tone whine that was completely and utterly uncontrollable and unconscious, recapturing his mouth and finding Marc almost not respond, everything too much, completely wrecked and unable to do anything except just breathe and wait, putty in his hands, or something even more malleable. “Tor-ture.”

“Hmm?”

Another whine, hips straining towards him. “Tor-ture.”

I know. He pulled out his fingers, slowly, and pressed a kiss to Marc’s forehead, lightly, the gesture so at odds with everything else, almost childlike, but something needing to let that different, more innocent kind of love show too, and then slowly started to push inside him, never ever having been tested in self-restraint as much as then, 10 or 12 seconds until he bottomed out and opened his eyes to see Marc’s on his again, something different in them, like he’d found a way to inject that feeling and overdosed, some kind of silent amazement at everything. “Let go.” He scratched slightly over Dani’s back and cupped his ass lightly, willing him to move, words breathy and quiet. “Just let go.”

“No.” He smiled and kissed gently down his jaw again, not moving anything else, feeling the tension in Marc’s muscles relax around him, the feeling of just being inside him absolute incredible. “Not yet. You said you wanted to feel me.”

“Hmm.”

And watching you get lost is too intoxicating. “Can you feel me?” Another row of kisses on the other side before Marc nodded and found his mouth again, talking into it.

“Y-yes.”

“Good. I can feel you.” He moved backwards, slightly, a couple of inches, Marc’s fingernails drawing blood immediately at the quick flash of desperation.

“Let go.”

“No.” Another kiss, slightly rougher, lip bitten again, thin string of saliva left between them before it was melted back into Marc’s neck, another growl. “Not yet.”

“Dani…”

“I’m here.” He smiled and rubbed his thumb over the tip of Marc’s cock, the younger rider’s hands suddenly flying off Dani’s back and smashing into the mattress on each side of them, sheets ripped, everything trembling.

“Dani, FUCK.”

He gently pushed back in the distance he’d moved back, breath hot on Marc’s cheek, biting his own lip with the effort, worth every second, feeling hands on him again, this time using all their strength to force him to move.

“Now. Please...”

“N-“

“Yes. Now.” The muscles in Marc’s forearms flexed as he pulled at him. “Please. NOW.”

Ok. Dani leant down close enough to his face to trace his lips, perfect, full, red, bruised lips with the tip of his tongue, before gently starting to move, rhythm slow and fluid, realising Marc had been right that the moment was right, feeling him respond and fall into him straight away, completely in tune, meeting each thrust with one of his own, breath catching in his throat and that same unconscious noise falling from him every time Dani hit the sweet spot, head still welded into the pillow, neck still showered in kisses when Dani's mouth was free, everything still slow and languid and stoned, muscles fluid and in time, everything building slowly, breath quickening so gradually it wasn’t noticeable, stomach muscles taught, like hours and hours and hours of pressure was slowly, slowly getting released. Months and months and months.

“Close...”

“Hmm.”

Dani kissed him again, tongue swirling slowly in time with his hips, breath stolen in between, until starting to feel himself topple over the edge, wrapping his hand around Marc in between them and synchronising another movement to their rhythm, fingers digging into his back following suit, that word said one more time.

“Close...”

The older rider pressed his lips against his ear again and nodded. “Let go.”

“I…”

“Shh. Let go.”

He felt Marc do just that, everything stopping, muscles tense, stomach and hand suddenly sticky, moan loud, reality suspended, before he let himself do the same and let more of his weight collapse on the younger rider, everything messier, panting and hazy, body covering his, hands somehow ending up intertwined too. They stayed there a couple of minutes before Marc could breathe enough and think enough to make a sentence, voice quiet and mesmerized.

"Dani?"

"Hmm?"

“I felt it.”

“Hmm?”

“I felt you come.” He felt him start to move and did the same as he had on that first night, pulling him in tighter and not letting him, forehead to forehead, eyes closed as they breathed each other in for a few seconds before he spoke again. “Open your eyes.”

Dani did.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The younger rider nodded and finally let him go, ending up side by side, staring at the ceiling for an hour or two, gone.

“And fucking wow.”

Chapter Text

“So where do you want to stop first?”

A late check-out, remembering what Marc had said about everyone already having left and finding that untrue – there was a one day test for the MotoGP guys – they’d hurriedly made their escape to Marc’s car and set off on what was meant to be a few days trip back up towards ‘home’. Although Dani wasn’t exactly sure where that was for Marc, since a lot of what he owned seemed to be rammed in the boot of the car. I know where ‘home’ will be, though. Just maybe not quite yet. He wasn’t too angry anymore, and Marc was more than accepting, after another chat with Emilio, that maybe Dani had been right. But rushing back into the same situation as before before everything had been talked about and planned wasn’t another risk Dani was willing to take. The ‘play date’, as Jorge had called it, with Rabat in Rufea was postponed until in between Le Mans and Mugello, and the time in front of them before then was theirs and theirs alone.

“Where do you want to stop?”

“Anywhere.” The younger rider flapped his hand at the map Dani had in front of him in the passenger seat and grinned. “Anywhere at all, as long as you’re there.”

Know the feeling. “Aww.” The older smiled to himself and looked down at it, pondering the options. “Well…there’s basically everywhere in between here and Barcelona. So…beach? History? Culture? City? Countryside?”

“Anything.”

“Have you ever been to Seville?”

“No.”

“Granada?”

“No.”

“Shall we do that while we’re down here, then?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Promise you’re not just saying that because you want to stay in my good books?”

Marc laughed and reached down to squeeze his knee. “Promise.”

“Ok then. Gypsies here we come.”

“Gypsies?”

“Yup. Moors and gypsies and burning hot sun.”

“Hmm. Culture.”

Hmm. YES. “Problem?”

“No. I’m interested in anything. BUT…” He turned from the road again and grinned. “You promise me you’ll let us have a double room. Or a triple room, with a double bed...”

“Risky…”

“Worth it.”

Dani took a deep breath and then nodded, staring out his window at the hot, dry landscape around them. Possibly. “Ok.”

“Good. I can deal with being cooler in public, but when we shut the door…I’m not pretending, then. Ok?”

“That’s as good as I’m going to get, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok then.” Marc let out a happy little sigh and then nodded to himself, suddenly reaching forward and whacking the radio volume to ‘stratospheric’, grinning at Dani’s argghh and winding the windows down.

Ok then.

*

“Hi, it’s me.”

“Hello me. Which me? Little me?”

“I’m the tallest one, now!”

“Aww I know baby. Hello. Nice to hear from you…finally…”

“Yeah sorry…busy weekend.” Ouch. He could hear the smile but still felt the guilt.

“We saw. Everything ok? Not too angry?”

“Not too angry. And everything’s good. Very good.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I finally cracked him.”

“You mean your brother?”

“Yup. He’s back. It was painful, but…he’ll be ok. I mean, you saw the race, right?”

“Of course. With bitten fingernails…”

“Ha, I know. He’s evil. But he won. And he couldn’t have done that before.”

“Before?”

“Before he got rid of Eva and started talking to Dani again.”

“Hmm we noticed the person who appeared behind him.”

“Yup. Wildcard for this race. And in Montmeló too. In Marc’s team.”

“Wow. I never realised how good he was.”

“Oh he’s really good. Really. Almost as good as Marc. Better than me, at the moment.”

“Well I’m guessing they’re not back together, though? And you’re brilliant, Alex. I-“

“No, it’s ok. I’m still learning. But…I think they might be?” This isn’t my news. “But…keeping it quiet.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Not from you – I’m sure he’ll call soon…I just mean…I think that’s what did it. Disagreeing about going public.”

“Oh. Ok?”

“But I think Dani won that one, and hopefully everyone’s happy again.”

“You know it’s quite strange for us to be happy about that.”

“Hmm?”

“We had reservations. You know that. But I think after Christmas…” Alex went red at that and cringed at the memory. Oh yeah. “I think the difference was so obvious. He’s a different person around him. Like he was before...”

“I know what you mean. And Dani loves him. Enough to put Marc’s career before himself.”

“Ah. Ok. This is making more sense.”

“Good. Where are you? At home?”

“Yes. Are you back?”

“Yeah I don’t know why I’m talking to you on the phone. I’ll come up later?”

“Sounds lovely. Dinner?”

“Please.”

“Two or one?”

Alex looked to Alicia, who was driving, and raised his eyebrows. “Dinner with my parents?”

“Fine with me.”

“Ok, then two please.”

“Ok. We’ll see you later, then. And you can fill us in a bit more.”

Probably too late not to, now. “Ok. Thank you. Bye….”

“Bye sweetheart.”

Alex smiled at that and cancelled the call, relaxing back into the seat with a happy sigh.

“Ok?”

“More than.” He nodded and squeezed her knee under the wheel. “Happy Marc, happy Dani, happy you, happy parents who finally seem to have accepted everything. So happy me.”

“Happy me?” She glanced at him and grinned. “Hmm?”

“Yeah, happy you. You’ve been grinning all day.”

“Well…” She shrugged and then nodded to herself, checking the mirror before indicating to pull of the motorway. “I think when you’ve been woken up like that, it makes the rest of the day go pretty well.”

Alex grinned to himself and nodded, memory making a slight blush on his cheeks.

“Definitely.”

*

Marc was first out the car, slamming the door and then leaning against it. “This is not what I had in mind.”

“Me neither. But calm down.”

“ARGGHH.”

“I know.” Dani smiled at him across the bonnet and pouted. “But we’re here now. So it’s fine.”

“But-“

“No, no buts. Let’s go and check in.”

The younger rider took a few breaths and then nodded. “Ok. Yeah. You’re right.”

“I know.” He dodged the whack heading his way and grinned as Marc changed tactic and managed a peck on the cheek, already away from prying eyes in the stairwell. “Is traffic the only thing that annoys you?”

“Hmm. Traffic. Arguing. People called Eva…” He trailed off and grinned as Dani took his hand. “Sorry.”

“It’s ok. A double bed awaits so I’m sure it’s not her name you’ll be saying...”

“Yes, it does. And never.” He pulled Dani to a halt, checked there was no one around, and then pushed him against the wall, kiss attack leaving them both breathless. “So some of my ideas are ok?”

“Some.” He yelped as Marc smacked him on the ass going through the door into the reception and scowled back at him, voice lowered. “Not those kind.”

“You love it.”

“It makes me nervous.”

“Which is a little bit exciting. Right?”

Goddamn those eyes. “Maybe.” He smiled at the receptionist and pulled out his phone with the reservation email on it, glancing back at Marc with a smile. “A tiny bit.”

*

He’d tried not to say everything, but his mother was very persuasive. And since all the reactions seemed to be positive, he couldn’t see that Marc would have an issue with it. So he texted him a few updates, no reply, and bit his lip for a few minutes nervously, before finally Marc responded and he smiled down at it.

Marc: This is Dani, he’s in the shower but don’t worry about it :) I asked and it’s fine. :)

Open door policy in the shower. Ok then.

Alex: Good. :) and you’re fine?

Marc: We’re fine separately but also WE are fine, yes :D

Alex: Good! Where are you?

Marc: Sevilllllaaa :D we’re doing a flamenco course…

Alex: I really hope that’s a joke.

Marc: It’s good for balance on the bike…

Alex: So’s the Cirque du Soleil but I still choose mountain biking.

Marc: Hello baby brother…leave us alone :P

Alex: Oh hello…so it’s ok that I betrayed your trust completely? ;)

Marc: I’m used to it ♥ and yeah, actually feel better not having to tell them. They’re ok with it?

Alex: Everyone loves Dani.

Marc: BACK OFF.

Alex: jeje ;) right bye bye, dinner is ready.

Marc: Tortilla?

Alex: Yeah!

Marc: DAMN.

Alex: Jaja…go and enjoy your flamenco.

Marc: We changed our minds. Gymnastics after all.

Alex: I can see this joke coming a mile away.

Marc: Jeje ;) bye bye xxxx love you bro!

Alex: *vomit* ;) xxx

*

Two days in Seville, some sights seen, mostly spent in the room, and then via Cordoba to Granada, where they did make the effort to go and find the Alhambra and go around it like proper tourists, Marc tweeting 3 or 4 pictures of himself with various faces since Emilio was keen to ‘establish’ him as a character in the paddock, and on the track. ‘So you’re on the radar.’ And he must have been, because after the win in Jerez he’d gained more than 5000 followers. ‘Not that I counted.’ ‘Of course not.’ ‘Pffff.’ He stopped smoking. And seriously abused the deal, every 10 or 15 minutes deciding he had a craving and wanting the promised kiss in return, the fact they were in public meaning he added it all up on a tab and then hit Dani with it every night. Thursday night, he was apparently owed 41, which seemed excessive, but they were given anyway. They eventually got on to the important conversations by the weekend – trip extended due to the fact that they were still south of Valencia and had found somewhere to do some training – and the nerves in the back of Dani’s mind slowly started to dissipate. Yes, I understand. I don’t have to move back in straightaway. No, it’s not as hard as I thought being out in public. Yes, I will still love you if you beat me at Montmeló.

So eventually, after Dani had convinced him, there were two options left: 1) call the parents, again, which he had after Alex had told them, and ask to move back in for a while, or 2) call Jorge and take him up on the distant-past offer of his spare room. He originally went for the parent option before Dani watched that conversation unfold to a ‘goodbye’ without him saying anything, then admitted he’d probably rather move to Barcelona for a bit and take the cringe of phoning the Mallorcan. So he did, and Jorge said it was fine, and they found a restaurant almost to themselves by the sea where they were secluded around a corner and could really be themselves. And Dani put a few more cards on the table.

“You know…why I suggested not renting somewhere for yourself?”

“I hope I do.”

“Why do you think?”

“Because you want to go slower but once you’re ready you want to say the word and it happen without me having rent to pay and stuff.”

Exactly. “Yeah.” He grabbed his hand across the table and squeezed. “Exactly.” We actually did it. Solved things. Got even stronger.

Eventually, they got back to Aragón with enough time to go their separate ways and pack for France before meeting Emilio at El Prat and flying up to Paris, the manager more than helpful in accepting Dani’s presence, switching seats so they could sit together, booking rooms with interconnecting doors, and most importantly, not telling a soul.

Marc came 2nd in Le Mans, Tito Rabat beating him over the line by a margin. But it still wasn’t a problem. Some of the other riders seemed a lot warier of this new kid who suddenly appeared and starting beating them, but Tito didn’t seem to have a problem with it, off track. So they went up to Rufea, Dani by that point having to miss it and go to work, and duelled it out to get the record back, eventually realising quite how hard that was going to be –Dani’s time was no slouch – and finding themselves in more of a team mentality than a war mentality by the end of the day, more laughs than irritated competitive growls. Then it was pack for Mugello – Marc still finding the pace of the season a bit crazy after being out of it for so long, and this time Dani stayed at home. And it was hard not having him there, but Julia went, and the Sideways Glance crew got to discover where Marc’s evil laugh originated. And Marc crashed, and his dad was ok with it. Worried, but the hurdles of the past seemed to have been gotten over somewhat and once he’d been to the medical center and pronounced fine– grazed chin not withstanding – there was no stress, or yelling, or nail biting. There had obviously been a conversation at home at some point where they’d really got their heads round it. Marc came 3rd, pretty good considering the creaks and groans every time he moved, and spent the first night back at ‘their’ house with Dani, having brought his podium bottle of champagne, empty, all the way back so he could share it, which was so adorable that Dani almost broke it when he was handed it.

“But it’s empty.”

“Wait.” Marc delved back into his bag and pulled out the European standard airline ‘plastic bag for liquds’, finding a little bottle at the bottom and holding it up. “Couldn’t leave it in there. And it’s flat and gross, but it’s the thought that counts, right?” He grinned as he poured it back in the bottle and took a deep breath as Dani took a sip, the gesture reuniting racing and Dani in his brain, everything coming together. “Gross?”

“Not too bad. Taste.” The older rider grabbed him into a kiss and then smiled. “You’d better not expect to share mine in Montmeló…”

“Ohh I see.” Marc grinned at that and put the bottle down, turning back to him and sliding his hands round his waist. “Trash talk.”

“No. Just the truth.”

“Sure.” He leaned in for another kiss and then shivered as Dani’s hands made their way under his hoodie. “But it’s good to hear you believe in yourself again.”

“It’s good to feel it, too. Although it’s weird being a podium finisher and still working with Alberto.”

“Ha, I can imagine. In fact…might come up with you in the morning and see him. That will be weird. In a good way.”

“He does always ask how you are.”

“Aww.”

“Well, you were the star employee.”

“Were?”

“Sorry but you’ve been replaced.”

“Oh have I?”

“Yes. She’s not as pretty as you, though.”

“SHE?! Ooh!”

“Hey!” Dani bumped his hips forward, intending that to be discouraging, and then moaned into the kiss as it proved to be the opposite, Marc grinning before pulling away, breathless but definite.

“Stoner rules before food.”

“What?”

“No contact.” He grinned again and laughed at Dani’s face.“Put those puppy dog eyes away.”

The older rider pouted even more and then smiled to himself as Marc nodded and headed towards the kitchen, just as at home as he had been the second he’d walked in there for the first time. “Everything still in the same place?”

“Yeah.”

Even us.

Chapter Text

The race in Montmeló was a disaster for almost everyone. One of those weird weekends where nothing seems to go right for the people you’d expect, Dani ended up being the first wildcard to win a race in no-one-could-remember-how-long, crossing the line a good 3 seconds clear of Luis Salom in second, Marc completing the podium after an absolute war with Dominique Aegerter for third.

If nothing else, it made the championship interesting.

And changed Dani's life a full 180.

*

Moto2: Marquez: “We’re racing for the championship now.”

Marc Marquez claimed a 4th straight podium from his 4th pole position of the year at the Circuit de Catalunya on Sunday, moving to within 28 points of compatriot Tito Rabat’s championship lead after the Marc VDS rider crashed out of 5th. Wildcard rider Dani Pedrosa, who completed the CatalunyaCaixa Repsol Moto2 team’s line-up for their home race, went on to win by 3 seconds from Pons Racing’s Luis Salom.

Pedrosa, a good friend of Marquez, says he has had interest from both the CatalunyaCaixa Repsol team and other teams on the grid for a permanent ride for the rest of the season following his victory, but nothing has yet been confirmed.

*

“Ok, I’m going to ask you one more time.”

The moon had been out for a few hours by the time they’d danced and talked and laughed their way through to the moment they’d both been expecting – when the plan of ‘ok let’s not think about it for a few hours’ finally cracked and both their minds went back onto it – and they’d gravitated outside under the stars as they had done so many times before, in tune with the subtle nod across the bar and what it meant.

“DON’T.”

“You know I’m going to.” Dani smiled at him and blew the smoke away from them, both of them back onto sensible, very occasional smoking, stood on the terrace in The Gaucho Place, quiet on a Wednesday night. “I have to.”

“Fiiiine.” Marc nudged him with his shoulder and then turned to lean back onto the railing, Dani leaning forwards, looking at each other, grinning. “I would love it. It would make our lives easier, and we’re not going to have any problem dividing the track from ‘us’. Although I don’t know why I’m trying to convince you because you know you’ve already decided.”

“Hmm.”

“WELCOME TO THE TEAM, BABY!” He grinned at his boyfriend’s face and then launched himself at him in a very sloppy kiss, eventually relaxing into something slower and more meaningful before he pulled away and pressed his lips to Dani’s ear, breathing him in, remembering this moment for himself, the next in Jerez and the sunrise and the overwhelming feeling of pride and relief. “You did it.”

“I did.”

Marc pulled away and kept the eye contact for a few seconds, all those emotions and dreams and crashes and fights and fucked up months passing between them, silent communication worth a thousand words, before nodding at him and grabbing his head to kiss his forehead. “You deserve this so much. And we’re calling Alberto, now.”

“But-“

“No. Now.”

And he did, to Marc’s surprise. Some sentimentality, but no fear at all.

‘The true Dani’, as Jorge would say.

*

Dani joined the team in time for Assen, and they took their first flight together as professional riders, both. Alberto had agreed to let him off on the proper amount of notice, the older rider having been far too loyal for far too long to have earnt anything else, and they drove down to El Prat for the first time ever having nothing to go back for except stuff. Stuff worth picking up, but stuff they could do without. True freedom was Marc’s phrase of the day, and Dani had to agree. He felt like he was 3 feet taller, absolutely nothing weighing him down anymore except the normal, pleasant pressure of the looming race weekend. Marc slept on his shoulder on the plane, but he was in the window seat away from prying eyes and Dani couldn’t face moving him, far too cute and relaxed to be moved. And things like that were easily explainable.

Dani didn’t sleep on the plane. Nerves about the race, but also nerves about the future, and Marc, and the Championship, and MotoGP, and contracts and being gay and living under increased scrutiny played a part, but mainly he’d decided that it was time for Marc to move back in. Or, the more he’d thought about it, it was time for them to live together again, but moving back into the house they’d just driven away from seemed like more of a step back than a re-investment in the future. He figured that would be the first topic he’d raise once the door was shut and they were glued together again that night, although where was something he couldn’t really figure out. They’d talked about it before, but never as an imminent reality. Honestly, because I think we both expected for this to take years, or fail.

Everything was moving in the right direction, and unlike last time he’d had that feeling, this one had no black clouds attached. Marc had stayed over a fair bit, but he’d only woken up once after dreaming about being hit, and Dani reasoned that would probably always happen every now and then – things like that would never be erased, you just had to learn to use them to your advantage, to walk along the limit with a bit more respect for it. Marc had crashed in Qualifying in Montmeló – lowside at Turn 1 that was completely his fault for pushing too hard – and Dani had been watching on the screen as it happened, biting his lip until he got to his feet, deep breath as he saw he was fine, slight smile as he saw what he did: he put his left hand to his visor like he was kissing it, and then pressed it onto his stomach, incredibly briefly, right over where the scar was. No waiting, no panicking, just a nod to the fact that once, he hadn’t been fine. But now, he was. More than. He was more aggressive, more determined and more speedy than he had been since he’d been fighting it out as a Moto3 wildcard years earlier.

And between the two of them, everything was fantastic. No doubts, no worries, shared irritation at having to keep it cool in public, but nothing they didn’t make up for once they were in private. Dani had sent the ring back to Carmen, and he’d more than well-hidden the one he’d bought for Marc all those months ago. He was going to use it, but he wanted it to be a moment that was for them and only them, probably once the season was over, but there was no rush. For the first time ever, there’s no rush. Because there’s no rush in forever.

He’d spoken to Emilio about Marc a couple of times, and they agreed on one thing especially: Ferrari style team orders would be used as it got closer to Cheste if Marc had a shot at the title, and Dani was fine with that, and they agreed Marc was pretty much definitely going to have a shot at the title. And then what?

Well for starters, I ask the question. For seconds, he says yes. For thirds, we re-assess the public situation.

“Hellooo?” Dani zoned back in as the seat belt light went on for landing, shaken back to the moment by the slightly irritated hand waved in front of his face. “What do you think?”

“What?” The older rider blinked a few times to focus and then finally did, Marc’s eyes boring into his, faces inches apart, both more than aware of it. “Sorry babe, I was miles away.”

“I know.” Marc lowered his voice and flicked his gaze between eyes and lips. “Babe.”

“Shh!”

“Nobody can see us.” To prove that point, he smacked a very, very quick kiss onto Dani’s lips and then grinned, pure evil, at the bluster he got in return. “But what I was asking was very important.”

Well it really had better be important. His teammate, as he now was, narrowed his eyes and saw the mischievous admission of bullshit in Marc's just before he said it.

"Italian or Mexican for dinner?”

Chapter Text

They had a big fight in Silverstone. A big fight. Door slamming, yelling, motorhome wrecking, drinking on the night before qualifying kind of fight. They kept the lid on it publicly – hopefully – and eventually talked it out until 1am the night before the race, both seeming to know that less hours of good, peaceful sleep after talking was better than more hours of angry sleep.

And it was about the same thing, in two halves. Marc had had a team motorhome he’d stayed in for most of the races, and when Dani joined the team it had seemed ok to both that they share it permanently – less risky than running from one to the other in the middle of the night, and it did have two beds, officially – but then there had already been some questions about how close they were, as friends, and Dani suggested they sleep apart until the night after the race when they’d planned to go back to his house. That had not gone down well. Marc had got annoyed, Dani had got annoyed, Emilio had got annoyed at both, and then the younger had walked off and ended up sharing a beer – although he was the only one actually drinking – with Tito and Alex. Which was good – the four of them had got closer, the older Catalan rider fitting in well – and Marc liked having a proper friend in the paddock who wasn’t his brother or his lover. He trusted Tito, he liked him, and he felt comfortable enough to forget for a few seconds that he didn’t know.

Rabat’s mouth dropped open as Marc said it – something similar to well we split up for months over things like this before and look what that did to me, before he turned red as silence descended on the table, Marc and Alex realising in tandem what he’d done.

“Fuck.” The older brother cringed and dared to look back at his friend, really not sure what to expect, the reaction and cringe obviously confirming it to the Marc VDS rider. So Marc just said it. My heart is critically injured every time I look at him. “Ok, yeah. Me and Dani…we’re not friends. He’s my boyfriend. I mean…more than that. He’s…I’ll probably be engaged to him before next season, basically...”

Silence.

“I really wasn’t meant to tell you, please say something...”

Silence.

“Tito? Hello?” Marc risked a glance at his brother for moral support before waving his hand in the other rider’s face to snap him back to reality. Which worked.

“Huh?”

“I said, sorry I didn’t mean to tell you. DO NOT tell anybody, ok?”

“Hmm.” He gulped and took a deep breath. “I won’t.”

“Ok. Good. Thank you.”

“You’re serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“That’s crazy.”

“Is it?” Marc swore slightly as Alex kicked him under the table, more aware than his brother that news like that could be a shock. “Sorry.”

“What?”

“Sorry…?”

“Why?”

“You look freaked out.”

“Hmm. Not freaked out. Surprised…?”

“Well, we’re doing a good job of hiding, then.”

“You really are.” Tito finally smiled at him and nodded, broader and broader as Marc reciprocated. “It's just...unexpected..? But I’m happy for you. Sorry if I’m a bit-“

“That’s ok.”

“Ok.”

“Ok.”

Alex rolled his eyes and put his glass down in front of them. “Ok.”

But he did tell someone. The one person he thought he could tell: Dani.

*

“YOU TOLD HIM?!”

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, ok? It was an accident. I trust him and we were just having a drink and I just said something too obvious.”

If Dani had felt guilty and thought maybe he was wrong before, the tables had turned. “FUCKING HELL.”

“Hey! Look, I know we said-“

“No, you know it’s IMPERATIVE-“

“Stop interrupting me.”

“Irony.”

“Shut the fuck up!”

“Hey! Don’t be so-“

“SHUT UP. PLEASE. Let me TALK…”

And he did, Dani surly as hell about it, and they fixed it. Slightly. By the time they lined up on the grid under the weak English Sunday sun, fully. By the time they got back to Dani’s house after another Marquez victory doblete and Pedrosa podium, in the dead of night, more than. And the older rider admitted that it would make Rufea a lot more relaxed. And Tito really seemed to have got over the initial shock and was fine with it, although now seemed to scrutinize everything and have a permanent smirk on his face.

“So...I made a good mistake.”

“Don’t push it.”

Marc grinned and pinned him to the bed, nose to nose. “You know me, Pedrosa. I always push.” He kissed a line down his neck and then felt his hair grabbed as he got to his stomach, head yanked up. Ow. And mmmm. “What?!”

Dani held his head up, staring at him, and shook his head. “Not tonight. I’m tired.”

We're all tired. “Don’t bullshit me.” The younger rider grinned and dared a pull against the grip, not really wanting to lose any hair but taking the risk, circling the tip of Dani’s cock with a warm, wet, eager tongue. The older rider’s grip went slack and his hips bucked, heat of Marc's mouth even warmer than the room, air from the fan making his skin chill where he'd been licked. “Ha. Told you.”

“I hate you sometimes.”

“I’ll give you a massage if I bruise you.”

“You will bruise me.”

“Oh, I know.”

There was a long pause as Dani’s mouth curled into a smile, head relaxing into the pillow in defeat.

“Ok. Deal.”

*

Marc tested a MotoGP bike for the first time at a test after Misano. A team further down the grid, nothing on the table, just time on a bike with more power. And he put a time in that would have seen him qualify for the race in 12th, 3 places higher than anyone else on that bike had managed the day before. Tongues wagged, rumours started, people started calling Emilio. And Marc was flattered, and excited, and ready to dive in. But he was told, basically, just no. So that was another fight, this time with his manager and therefore not one where oh please and eyelash fluttering could win, before the next weekend seemed to clear up why.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

A few seconds of shocked, calm terror.

“…wow...”

*

Alex was 2nd in the Championship by Aragón, Marc the same. The younger Marquez was 18 points down, the older, two. Two. And it was his favourite track. He knew it well, it treated him well, and more and more people wearing red were starting to show up for him in the grandstands. Marc had been accepted almost immediately as a favourite. Dani had too, but he could understand the fever-pitch of attention around his boyfriend. As far as he was concerned, it was deserved. But it also made it harder. They’d had another fight about, of all things, Twitter, in Misano, because Marc was interacting with me too much, is how Dani had put it, and it was suspicious. So Marc went completely Twitter silent towards him until Aragón, until people actually started tweeting him to ask him what had happened and had they fallen out. So he won that argument, too. And both of those races. Dani finished off the podium for the first time after a wet race on the Riviera in which he’d gone for points over glory, and then was back on it on home turf, one step below Marc.

Big news from the weekend, other than Marc’s now few-point advantage in the Championship, was no Alicia. When his brother had told him, Marc had immediately felt himself panic, grabbing him into the mother of all hugs, remembering how that felt for him, remembering how he’d fucked everyone and everything up, worried that was a family trait. And Alex was upset, but he was nothing like Marc had been at the season’s beginning. And that, apparently, was the point. “I look at you every day and see how you are…and maybe we had some of that for a while, and we loved each other for a while. But I think now…it makes sense. We lost something.” No tears, no yelling, just sad doe eyes for a few weeks when you caught him at a bad moment. But it didn’t work itself out, because, in his own words it shouldn’t. And that was enough for both of them, and had Dani getting the ring out its hiding place almost nightly to look at it and think about it, another reminder of how right it really was. Marc was still living in Barcelona, but not with Jorge. It had been a few days, then a few weeks, and although he was never there really his stuff was, and he kept coming back and finding it moved. Which was, apparently, a big problem. They weren’t the most compatible of personalities, but they shared a few laughs. However the mess was too much, leading to a very late-night phone call, the diva-ness of which Dani had never heard before over something so small, in which Marc explained he was spending the night in the W – which had used to be two days wages in their heads and was now a quick stopoever – because he’d found an errant sock in ‘his’ room. So he left, and then Alicia left Alex, so he moved back in with his brother, this time with a functioning shower, and dropped hint after hint after hint about how yeah it’s nice but…but….. Dani just smiled it off, every time, loving the game, before eventually cracking after the race at Motorland, on the way back to his house, giddy although driving, Marc the one high on champagne, and suggesting what he’d been thinking about for a while.

“I think...we’re ready to move in together again. BUT…somewhere new. Not my house again. How do you feel about that?”

Marc’s smile was 93 times wider than the one from the podium, and even that one had impressed Dani. He made him pull over at a service station so he could attack him safely with kisses, then turned the interior light off in the car and pulled the lever to tilt his boyfriend's seat down, climbing on top of him in 2 seconds flat, and swallowed Dani whole before he could complete the words what are you doing. The following trip to the bathroom was also hijacked by Marc’s mouth, that wonderfully terrible shiver of paranoia going through every inch of Dani as Marc pulled him into a stall and locked the door.

“No one can see.”

“Everyone could hear.”

“Worried you’ll scream?”

“Y…” The word got lost as Marc unsnapped his jeans, war won. Again.

The other thing that happened in Aragón ripped through the paddock at their home race, changing everything in a very different way: the pre-event press conference.

Where Casey Stoner announced his retirement.

Chapter Text

“Ok…we need to talk.”

I don’t like that tone. Dani frowned up at him, just back from Rufea, still looking like it, specks and streaks of mud through his hair, dishevelled in the way that always made Dani grit his teeth slightly, too attracted to it to do anything about self-control. “Ok. Should I be worried?”

He expected his face to crack into a smile, expected an immediate no, of course not, maybe for him to walk over, kiss him as he usually did when they’d not spent the day together, collapse onto the sofa next to him and melt into him, whatever worry it was obviously being better when shared. But he didn’t do any of those, he just took a little breath and lifted one shoulder in a kind of helpless shrug.

“I really don’t know.”

*

“Hi. It’s me. Your ex-housemate…”

“Marc. How’s it going, Mr Championship Leader?”

“Pretty good, thanks. Well…really good.”

“Good. You guys disappeared after the race, sorry I did try and find-“

“Don’t worry, sorry I know we did. It was a kind of crazy weekend…” With a lot of sex, which I know you will know exactly that I mean that. Cringe.

“Yeah…” There was a slight chuckle before the Mallorcan carried on. “I can imagine…”

“Yeah ok, fine. Fine. But I want to talk to you.” Cough. “Please…if you have a bit of time?”

“Yeah I’m free tonight. Dinner? Are you here? Or up at Dani’s?”

“No, I’m here. I’m walking round the shopping center on the Rambla del Mar trying to decide between Piqué or Iniesta.”

“What?”

“Shirt. I have enough money to actually buy some stuff now and I want a Barça shirt.”

“Well I’d go for Iniesta.”

“That’s not the advice I wanted.”

“Oh so it’s advice you want?”

“Well…I want to talk about some stuff with you because we usually disagree and it’s useful.”

“You mean I’m right and you like to argue, yeah?”

“Oh suddenly I decided. I’m going to get Piqué. Where shall I meet you?”

“Don’t mind. Somewhere without candles.”

“Good call. Well, just come down here then. Touristy and won’t be a date.”

“Tapa tapa. That will probably do. And not be weird.”

“Right. Bye…”

“830?”

“Oh yeah. Time. That’s fine. And…don’t take this the wrong way…but please don’t tell Dani?”

“Right…” There was a quick pause before he carried on. “Do you have a good reason why you don’t want me to?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok, then I’ll see you later.”

*

Oh God. Dani felt his mouth go dry as he looked at that expression. They’d got a lot better at talking and there had been moments when they’d had the same kind of moment, warning the other that the next thing out of their mouths was going to be honest, maybe too honest, but that face was different. It wasn’t worried about the reaction in the short term, it was genuine worry about everything. It said somewhere in between I love you and the fact we can be honest and I’m wary of what this is going to change. The older rider’s face must have betrayed the same worry as he was reading because Marc’s face fell further and Dani watched him tense on the spot as he obviously wanted to walk over and then stopped himself. “Ok. Anything.”

“Don’t panic.”

“I’m not panicking, I’m worried.”

“Me too.”

“At least come over here and sit down?”

“No.” He watched Dani’s eyes flash with complete desolation and took a deep breath, shaking his head, really not wanting to cause that but really needing to be on his feet. “It’s not you. It’s not us. I just…I don’t want to sit down. Promise.” Gulp. “I promise.”

*

“Sorry I’m late.”

“I expected it.” Marc grinned and took another sip of beer, now proudly wearing his new Piqué shirt, and watched the Mallorcan sit down opposite. “Don’t worry.”

“I used to like you.”

He grinned again and pushed the second beer he’d already ordered across the table. “Mutual.”

They shared a knowing sort of smirk and then Marc found himself forced to dive straight in.

“Ok, what do you want to talk about?”

*

“Just tell me. Please.”

“Ok, but I…I don’t know where to start, I mean…there’s a few things and I just...doing dirt track all day I’ve been thinking about everything and I-“

“Ok, stop.” He cleared his throat and looked back at him, hysteria almost controlled but not quite. “Are you leaving me?”

Marc’s mouth dropped open and his eyes welled up, voice quiet and desperate, head shaking straight away. “No. How could you-“

“Ok, sorry.” Deep breath. “I’m sorry, please…I just…this seems really serious but I can’t imagine what else would hurt me. Like you seem like you’re about to do.”

“I don’t think it will hurt you I’m just worried what you’ll think. Whether you meant it.”

What I’ll think? Meant what?! “Well I promise you, promise you that it’s not going to affect anything. Ok?”

We’ll see. If I’m right, if Jorge’s right. “Hmm.”

“Marc, seriously. Just say it.”

“Ok.” Deep breath. “Well the first thing…I don’t want to move to Barcelona with you. Don’t panic – I mean, I don’t want to live in the city with you. I want to live somewhere more private, where we have some space, for us, but also for training and everything. I’m going crazy in the gym. I need fresh air and feeling like I can get in the car or get on my bike and just go and get some peace, for a while. I’m starting to get recognised and it’s freaking me out a bit, and if you don’t want to go public, I can’t live in the city under so much scrutiny.” Deep breath. “Ok?”

The first thing. He tried to keep that in mind but the relief was still like a tidal wave. Seriously, you seriously thought that would be any kind of problem?! “Ok well to me that sounds perfect.”

“What?! I thought-“

“No.”

“You know what I was going to say?”

“Yep. You thought I had always wanted to move to the city and all that stuff…but honestly? Maybe I did, when I was your age…” They shared a smile, that improving the relief even more. “But now I’m not. And I think that dream was more about what it represented. Like it had everything I wanted and all I had to do was turn up and grab it. But that’s not true, because I have a ride in the World Championship and I’ve found the love of my life, and I’ve not been down to the coast to get either. So where were you thinking?”

He stared back for a few seconds, amazed at how easy and actually encouraging, almost relieved that had been, then smiled. “I have a few ideas.” Maybe this will be ok, actually. “But we can talk about that tomorrow, ok?”

“Ok.” Nerves again. “There’s more we need to talk about now?”

Marc’s eyes changed back into that worried, wary expression and Dani’s heart sank again.

“Yeah.”

*

“I want to know what you really think. About me and Dani.”

Jorge put his fork down and frowned, confused, aware his opinion was highly valued by one, respected but usually ignored by the other, but ultimately not much to do with it. “What?”

“I mean…I don’t know.” Marc took another gulp of beer, suddenly more nervous, face slightly red. “I don’t mean me and Dani, as in…our relationship. I love him, he loves me, I’d hope that was obvious…”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Good.” Another slight blush. “Ok basically…I want to know how he feels about going public. Really. I want to know if he’s said anything to you…I want to make sure that it’s really about my career.”

“Right. Ok.” The Mallorcan frowned at him as he took a swig of beer, then set the bottle back on the table and shrugged. “It really is. Maybe it’s best if I answer questions, so I don't have to say everything without being asked. Ok?”

“Ok. That’s fair.”

“I think so. And I’ll tell you if you tell me why.”

*

“Right. Well just say it. So far, so good…”

The difference between this guy, the positive one, putting his faith before his paranoia, and the guy who I walked in to find on that first day, scowling at me. I love you. “Ok.” Marc took a deep breath and felt his eyes well up again slighty as he realised what the words he was saying actually meant. “I got offered a MotoGP ride.”

Dani stared at him for a few seconds, face going from terror before Marc said it through to pride and almost ecstasy as he processed it. “You mean, a better one, right? A competitive one?”

The younger rider nodded at him, almost enough already explained in his boyfriend’s eyes, adoration and pride and relief and puzzlement at Marc’s worry, and that, coupled with the conversation with Jorge, was enough for the nerves to really disappear, everything confirmed. He felt himself burst into tears, everything too much, just about choking the words out through an amazed smile.

“I mean…I got offered Casey’s seat at Repsol Honda. Casey Stoner's seat at Repsol Honda.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds of charged silence before Marc felt himself start to head towards the floor and Dani was suddenly holding him up, arms around him, shoulder wet within seconds as he sobbed into it, completely overwhelmed as it sunk in after saying it out loud. Repsol Honda.

Oh my God why on Earth were you worried. Dani felt himself start to go at the same time, relief incredible, hanging on almost as much as Marc was to him, just letting him let it out, understanding perfectly exactly what it meant, a few minutes just stood there before Marc spoke again.

“You understand, don’t you?”

The older rider nodded into his neck and ran a hand through his hair, whispering little ssh’s in his ear. “No one has ever deserved it more. You understand that, don’t you?” He pulled away slightly and forced Marc’s gaze onto his, eyes burning into him. “You know. You know how proud I am? You know why?”

Marc nodded at him, still crying, still grinning, slightly hysterical laughter in there somewhere, trying to talk. “I know. I did it.”

“You did it.”

“I actually did it!”

Dani nodded at him again, same strange mixture of reactions, clinging on. “You did it.” He pulled him in tighter and they swayed on their feet for a few more seconds before Marc settled with his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, a bit calmer, needing to say the other half of the reaction out loud, almost more for himself to help it sink in. “I…” A few deep breaths. “I thought I was going to die. I don’t know if I ever said that, but I thought I was going to die. When I woke up.”

“I know, baby.”

“But I did it.”

“You did it.”

“How did I do it?”

Dani took in the expression on his face and ran his thumbs under his eyes, cupping his face and shaking his head, eyes still locked together, bliss burning in both sets. “Honestly? Damned if I know.”

Marc laughed at that, first just a little giggle, then more as they stared at each other, everything being said in their eyes instead of out loud, before it grew and grew and he was crying again, laughing, relief and everything else still overwhelming but coming out differently. “I love you, you know?”

Dani nodded and suddenly grabbed him into a kiss, fingers curled into the fabric of his collar, pulling him in, rough and needy and Marc responding the same, manhandling him towards the bedroom. “I love you, too. And I’m so proud of you.”

“And now we can tell-“

“Yep. As soon as the ink’s dried.”

"No, as soon as I win the Championship."

"What?"

Marc hit the bed first, nodding, conversation still managing to continue despite the moans and kisses and clothing now mostly on the floor. "I want this title. If I win this title, I go to MotoGP. If I don't, I stay. But I'm going to win it. I'm going to win it."

Ok, I can deal with that. Dani groaned as he was pinned down. And YES, yes you are.

Chapter Text

“Ok..?”

Marc nodded and bit his lip as Dani added another finger. “So much MORE…” He arched his back and groaned as the older rider hit the sweet spot. “…than ok…”

“Good.”

He’d crashed, at Rufea, and again managed to hurt his ass more than anything else. But apparently it was ok enough to take another hit.

A long fuuuuuck spilled from him as Dani added a third finger, tongue flicking Marc’s nipple as he did, a bead of sweat trickling down the center of the younger rider’s chest that Dani caught and retraced its path back to his neck, sucking a bruise onto his pulse point and feeling a flash of heat as Marc’s hips bucked against him, causing a split second of friction that made his lips hum against his skin, moving up again to his mouth, tongue immediately invited in as Marc pushed back against him, desperate for more.

“Seriously, just…fuck me. Now. Fuck me now.” The joys of living in a house where no one else can hear you. “FUCK, DANI. FUCK!” He jerked his hips upwards again and carried on swearing, profanities getting lost between their tongues, friction now enough to leave Marc whimpering as he pulled out his fingers and gently started to push into him, muscles relaxed enough for it to be blissful torture, pressure tight enough for Dani to share that sensation. “Fuck. DANI. I MEAN IT.”

Something about the tone and the half-there, half already gone look on his face, almost furious at not already having his way, desperately pushing back against his boyfriend, wriggling closer, hands clawing at his back, like a sex-crazed heroin addict, made Dani actually giggle slightly. That gave Marc even more incentive and he whacked his hand down onto his boyfriend’s ass, really hoping after the dirt track injury that he wouldn’t have to take that in return, and grinned as the laugh died on his boyfriend’s lips and was replaced by a growl, biting his own lip, eyes widening in lustful shock, something new and completely evil in them.

Oh wow. What was THAT. “Oh you like that do you?” The younger rider kept grinning and did it again, harder, realising suddenly that yes, they’d done this before, but never this way round. “Come on, then. Fuck me. Now.”

Dani’s face explained the battle between really wanting to but understanding perfectly the outcome of refusing. “No. Make me.”

Who would have thought it. “Oh, I will. Now.” Another smack, this time a whimper and a look that seemed to say Jesus fucking Christ what are you doing to me, eyes black and round, jaw slack, another little growl. “Come on, Dani. Fuck me. Wreck me. Smack me. Anything. NOW.”

The older rider bit his lip, panting, and slowly shook his head, grimacing again as Marc’s hand really, really gave him a smack, sound echoing round the room, the jolt making him move inside Marc and that making the younger rider groan again. “You should ask nicely.” He smiled at the flash of desperate lust that crossed Marc’s expression and leant down to bite his lip, hard, staring at him, waiting for it to happen again “Say please.”

“No. I’m in charge.” Smack. Another moan as Dani trembled where he was and moved slightly further. “Do as I tell you.”

“No.”

Smack. “NOW.”

“No…”

I’m winning. I’m definitely winning. The younger rider smiled at the weaker response and raised an eyebrow, fingernails digging into the skin of Dani’s ass cheeks, one side red raw, the other untouched, both now bruised. “You know…” He leant up and pressed his lips to his boyfriend’s ear, voice low and dangerous, “…you don’t have to train tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after…” Another vicious smack that moved him another tiny distance further. “…so I really don’t have to stop.”

This. Why did we never do this. “Don’t stop.”

“Oh really?” Another crack echoed from the bed and Marc realised his hand was starting to get sore. How are you not crying. “Because you don’t have to be punished. Just do as you’re told…”

“No.” He pulled out, taking that control from Marc and hearing the growl as he was suddenly empty, confused, back from the game and angry at the reality.

“What are you…” Oh My GOD. He watched as Dani sat back, eyebrow raised, and then lay down next to him, ass in the air. “Seriously.”

“Please.”

“You want me to spank you or fuck you?”

“Both.”

Both. “Ok. You’re sure.” His boyfriend groaned and then nodded, soon changing into a blissful grimace as Marc knelt behind him and hit him again. One side? Both sides? He felt himself twitch at the noise that created, not just the noise of his hand hitting skin, the noise of Dani literally wailing at him. “All you have to do to make it stop is say the word.” Smack. The same side as before, skin glowing red hot and angry, Dani’s legs trembling as he buried his head in the pillow. Wow. Smack. The younger rider changed sides again before running a finger through the crack, pushing gently at his hole, other palm flat on the raw skin off his ass, amazing how much it was burning. Sorry, or maybe…you’re welcome. “Lube or no lube?”

“Whichever will hurt the most.”

“Fuck Dani, you sound like me.”

“Fuck Dani. YES.”

“Ohhh I see, you made me wait…” He slapped him again and bit his lip at the new whimper that made, element of surprise making it a lot louder. “But you want me to just give up?”

“Hmm.” Head still buried, ass still burning, lip still bitten. “Please…”

Smack. “Sorry I can’t hear you.” He smiled at the moan and bit his lip to try and control himself. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. “You’ll have to be a bit louder.” He pushed his finger in as the word louder left his lips, feeling Dani strain against him, pushing for more but muscles not comfortable with it, body shaking, mouth now biting into the pillow, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, definitely louder.

“PLEASE.”

Smack. “Sorry?”

“PLEASE. PLEASE!!”

Marc grinned and added another finger, pushing deeper, feeling him wriggle, the way he wasn’t facing him making everything seem like a weird dream, crooking his fingers and obviously judging it well because the Moto2 rider in front of him screamed. “Like that?”

Nod.

“Want more?”

Nod.

“Ask nicely.” Smack.

“PLEASE.”

“Ok.” Marc pulled out his fingers and pulled his cheeks apart, spitting in the crack, thumb spreading it, spitting on his hand, lubing himself up, the feeling and giveaway noises of that making Dani quiver in anticipation before finally he groaned again as Marc’s fingertips grabbed his hips, still rough, skin still red raw in front of him, lining himself up and then pushing inside, not too hard but certainly not gentle, hearing the hiss as he did, not stopping until he bottomed out and saw Dani’s fingers go white gripping the sheets. Oh wow. “More?”

“Hmm.”

Smack.

The combination of both at the same time seemed to make him lose his mind, the noise like something from an injured animal. “PLEASE.”

“Ok.” He dug in with his nails again and started to move, the muscles in Dani’s back tensing as he did, holding himself there, the similar slap of skin-on-skin echoing through the room, but this time not hands, just rough thrusts that had Marc grunting with the effort, legs tiring faster than he wanted to admit, upper lip coated with sweat that he licked off absentmindedly as he listened to the string of profanities and growls coming from his boyfriend’s mouth, fingers grabbing into his skin and not letting him control it, setting the rhythm, smacking him again, feeling the tremor go through his legs as he did, before reaching round and wrapping his hand around Dani’s cock, equally not gentle, the older rider’s head hanging at that, too much to process, teeth sinking into his lip and drawing blood, whimpering and quivering, desperately trying to choke out the word close.

“I know.” Smack. “Come. Now. Come for me.”

Another moan.

“Come on, Dani. Fucking come. Now.” Another smack before Marc lowered his voice and hissed it, knowing all the signs, knowing it was really close. “Do as you’re told.” He thrust into him a couple more times before hearing the catch in his boyfriend’s breath, mouth frozen open, muscles tense, loud, guttural groan pre-cursing the hot liquid that then covered Marc’s hand as he really did do as he was told. The younger rider dug his fingertips into the skin and thrust once, twice more before he let himself go, hearing himself growl as Dani collapsed under him, trapping his arm, completely and utterly wrecked, panting and unable to move, pulling him down on top of him. They lay there a few minutes just getting some breath back before Dani finally cocked his head up and looked back, eyes still deep black and lustful but more mischief back in them, holding up a thumbs-up like they were on a cool down lap.

“Good?”

You fucking idiot. Marc grinned at that, looking from the ridiculous gesture back to lock his eyes on Dani’s and nodding, starting to giggle, silence broken again. “FUCKING AMAZING.”

Chapter Text

“Owwwwwwwww.”

“You asked for it.”

“But owwwwwwwwww.”

“You’re not going to make me feel guilty. You begged. You had your ass in the air and you begged.”

The pathetic but on-purpose tone of Dani’s initial complaints got lost as they looked at each other, eyes burning with the memory, Marc’s tongue running over his bottom lip as he stared at his boyfriend’s absentmindedly. “Ok maybe I did.”

“Maybe?”

“Maybe I liked it.”

“Maybe?”

“Maybe once it feels better you can do it again?”

“Definitely.” Marc grinned at him and grabbed the collar of his t shirt to pull him in for a rough but reasonably chaste kiss. “I liked it. Do not worry. I liked it a lot”

“Ok, good.” Slightly self-conscious smile that Marc felt hit him in the chest. You’re so beautiful.

“Now come on. Concentrate!” He grinned as Dani pouted and motioned at the map that was open on his table. Choosing the location for ‘our’ table. “So we said Lleída and south, Tarragona, up to about….here?” The younger rider drew around that with a marker pen, upper limit somewhere near Calella, and smiled at Dani’s suddenly concentrated face, nodding. SO BEAUTIFUL. “Well that’s a big area.”

“It is. But we said not the city, so draw another one.”

“Ok.” Marc drew another line from El Prat to Badalona following the B-20 and then looked back at him. “Right?”

“Good.”

“So…when we said city…does that include Lleída?”

“I’d say so, if that’s ok? Too many people.”

“That’s fine.” Marc cut that out. “Tarragona?” Marc shook his head and cut that out. “Ok so smallish town or village but not too village…enough people but not too many…sensible place for getting around from…”

“To be honest nowhere is that far to the airport, but maybe moving too far from Rufea would be stupid.”

“That’s true. Ok, do that.” Dani motioned at the map again and watched Marc draw exactly the line he would have. “Exactly.”

“Hmm.” The Moto2 Championship leader chewed the end of the pen absentmindedly, unaware of the gaze tracking that and licking his lips. “You know there’s somewhere obvious, right?” He leant down to point before realising he was getting no response from his boyfriend and turning to look at him. “Dani?”

“Sorry.” Cough. “You’re distracting me.”

“Wh-…oh.” Marc rolled his eyes and then circled the tip of the pen with his tongue, eyes glowing. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Eyes glued onto it, voice slightly strained. “Really.”

“Ok, Dani. We need to have a chat.” He broke the sexy-glare and grinned, putting the pen down in the most Cold War British movie secretary way he could manage. “This has to stop.”

“Excuse me?!”

“It’s pathetic. You’re not 18 anymore, Daniel, and we have serious business to discuss.” Marc grinned at him and wiggled his eyebrows slightly, eyes flashing. “Stop it, because I can’t.”

“I’m sorry it’s just that ever since I’ve had you back I can’t think about anything else.”

“I know.” Marc nodded emphatically at him, grinning, and then gave up slightly on the map and pulled him in, eyes trained on Dani’s, which were already getting darker and darker. “I know. I think it’s because I don’t live here, and it makes every time I get here I feel like we have to get naked within a minute.”

“No problem.” The older rider grinned and moved a hand to pop open the button on Marc’s jeans, both of them staring down for a second before locking eyes again.

“STOP IT.” He redid the button and pulled away, smiling exasperatedly. “I love you and I want you all the time but I also really want to move in with you again and for that to happen we have to decide where.”

“I thought you were implying that would mean we stopped having sex.”

“If we ever manage to stop fucking each other, I want a prize.” Marc grinned at that and pulled him in for another kiss, tongue invited in immediately, hands through his hair. Because this isn’t going to go out. Ever. “But…” He got his breath back and took a purposeful step away from his boyfriend after the kiss. “I just mean…the teenager-ness. I love it. I love it. But I miss the other stuff, too.”

“I know.” Dani nodded and smiled at him, holding up his hands in defeat. “I know what you mean, and I do too. I’m sorry. I will try and control myself.”

“Good.” The younger rider gave him a cheeky smile and then pointed at the map. “What I was saying before. That’s the obvious choice.”

Dani peered over, nudging his finger slightly out the way to get a better view of what he was trying to point at, and then felt himself smile. Back to the start with a fresh start and a chance to get it all right. “I think that sounds like a very good idea.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.” Another lick of the lips. “Really.”

They locked eyes again and Marc sighed before looking at the ceiling and holding his arms up, grinning like an idiot and trying not to. “Ok, fine. I give up. We decided. Let’s move to Cervera.”

Dani got the point and pulled his t shirt off in one yank. “Deal.”

*

“There’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“Hmm?” The older rider tried to flick the cigarette off the terrace in time, failing miserably and pouting at Marc’s oh I see, hiding were we?. “Sorry I just didn-“

“Do what you want.” He stood next to him, leaning like a mirror image, both staring out at the moon, bumping his hips against his boyfriend and smiling, pouting back at him. “But it’s rude to not invite your friends to the party, you know.”

“Well…” Today, today…this week…we’re just…walking on air. And I love it. “You’re not my friend. And it wasn’t a party. Also, friends who have a reputation for throwing up on the floor should maybe think twice about re-joining that party…”

“I’m not some sort of crack-addict, Dani.”

“I know. I know.” He pulled out the crumpled packet and lit another, passing it to Marc and then lighting his own. “So much worse than that.”

“Well, I know. I’m a liability.” He sighed and shook his head. “I’m completely addicted to something very, very dangerous.” He blew some smoke at Dani’s face and smiled at the nose-wrinkle. “But it looks so harmless and cute, and it’s tiny. So sweet. It’s one of those things that you think ‘well maybe it won’t be that bad’, but then you take a hit and suddenly you’re constantly stoned or screaming for it.”

“Screaming…”

“Screaming! Like a wounded animal.” He made the point by smacking Dani, reasonably gently, on his sore ass cheek and grinned at the ow!. “But it’s a bit late for warnings, now. It was a bit late the second you walked back in from the balcony in that hotel in the middle of nowhere, and the way you looked at me. So never mind. I’m doomed, and I’m ok with it.”

“I know the feeling.”

“I know you do.” They shared another look before Marc bumped his hip again. “But shh! I came here on official business. I have a question.”

“Hmm. Ok…?”

“And it’s freaks me out so much that I’m asking this question. Well, no. It’s scary that I want to ask this question and that I’m actually not that scared by it.”

You’re not going to…please? “Right…”

“Don’t look worried. You won’t be freaked out.”

Please don’t ask me that. This is something I have to HAVE to beat you to. “Ok…”

“So, we’re moving to Cervera.” The younger rider blew some more smoke out in front of them and looked away over the town, drinking in the view as they both did more often now, knowing the days in that house were numbered, as he caught Dani’s nod out the corner of his eye. “But the question is this: are we going to rent?” Deep breath. “Or are we going to buy?”

Wow. “Oh.” He tried to cover the sigh of relief and prayed he’d done a good enough job, not wanting to broach that other question yet, a plan for that forming somewhere in his brain for a while. “You want to buy?!”

“Hmm…I don’t not want to buy.”

“Do we have enough money to b-“

“Repsol Honda. We have enough money to buy.”

Ah, ok. “We need to talk about that, don’t we?”

“What?”

“Money.”

“Do we? It’s ours. I already got the form for putting you on my account.”

“What?!”

“Yeah…” Is that a big deal? “Sorry keep forgetting to take it in. It’s on the coffee table at home. Hopefully not covered in Alex’s shit.”

“But you-“

“Don’t.” Marc looked back at him and shook his head, pressing a gentle kiss against his lips, tone dead serious for the first time in a while. “It’s ours, and it’s not even worth the time it takes to talk about. Ok?”

You really, really mean that. “Ok.”

And you're not even asking me if I’m sure. Because you can tell. “Good. So…Daniel. Would you like to buy a house with me?”

Life can be so strange. Dani stared back at him for a few seconds, taking in all the little details, mind running back and forth through the past like a relay, all the dreams he’d had and lost and changed swirling in his brain, and then nodded. All the new dreams are better than the old ones. And they’re already coming true. “I would love to.”

They shared a more serious kiss than the last few hours, wrapped up in each other for a few minutes, slight shiver as the temperature dropped, and then Marc pulled away and smiled at him, eyes glowing in the dark almost, faces still incredibly close and breathing each other in.

“One day sometime soon, you know I’m going to ask you another question, right?”

No. You’re not. The older rider gulped slightly and nodded, brushing some errant hair from his boyfriend’s forehead and then locking eyes with him again. “But not if I beat you to it.”

Chapter Text

“Ok, I think we need to talk. Properly.”

Emilio raised his eyebrows at his rider and nodded, trying to figure out the mood and tone, unsure on both. “Ok. Sit down, then.”

“Thanks.”

Well if you’re feeling formal enough to need me to invite you to sit, maybe I should be worried. “Is there a problem?”

“Not…necessarily.”

“Ok. I’m listening.” Dani just comes in, sits down, says it, waits for a reply, and then leaves. I like that approach a lot more.

“I know. I’m nervous.” Marc smiled at him and took a deep breath, trying to figure out whether he should be ‘asking’ about this or simply telling him. “Basically…yes. Yes to Repsol Honda. Yes to whatever the figure was you said before…that’s fine. I’m not that bothered about the money. Yes I’ll take one year with an option. No problem….”

Emilio waited a few seconds for him to continue, the but hanging heavy in the air. “Ok…”

“But…”

There it is. “Yeah?”

“But…I’m not leaving Moto2 until I win the title.”

The manager sat back in his chair and frowned at him, knowing that was a goal, never having realised it was absolute. “So…what does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” Marc shrugged at him, like you’re the manager, you tell me. “If I win it this year, then it’s no problem…”

“And if you don’t…”

“Is there some sort of clause we could have? Or something?” The look on his face made it obvious how cheeky he knew that was, asking Repsol Honda for a clause that could very easily leave them in the contractual shit in early November. “Maybe?”

“I can tell by your face that you think that’s asking a lot.”

“Yeah. I know it’s asking a lot. And I never realised how bothered I was…but I have to win this title. I wanted all 3 of them – that was my dream – but honestly I feel like I have to win it.”

“Ok, ok. I get it.” Emilio smiled at him and held his hands up, tone starting to go a bit defensive. “I’ll see what I can do…they really want you. So I’m hopeful. It’s just fucking cheeky asking the best team in MotoGP for a one way clause.”

“I know. Believe me, I know.”

“Ok well…something else I want to ask about, as well…” He felt himself go slightly pink, still traumatized by things he’d accidentally witnessed in Aragón, and took a deep breath. It’s fine. We can talk about it. We already talked about it. But before… Cough. “Dani. You’re not going public until you sign a contract, yeah?”

“That’s the plan. What we’ve agreed.”

“So you realize that if you don’t win this and move up, you’re going to have to wait another year. And if you can’t wait another year, you’re then Marc Marquez who didn’t win the Moto2 title and Marc Marquez who is gay. Which is a lot less bargaining power.”

“I know.” I’m not thinking about it. “But I’m going to win the title. I believe that. And Dani must believe that completely because he supports the idea…”

“Right. So basically, you want a contract that becomes watertight the second you win this title, right?

“That would be nice. I’d like to celebrate with my boyfriend…” But I know how much that’s asking. And I don’t want to think about anything else.

This is going to be interesting. “And you’re pretty determined to do that publicly?”

Marc just nodded and got back to his feet, obviously satisfied with the conversation and the length of it. “Yeah. That’s non-negotiable, too. Sorry…”

“I’m used to it.” The manager smiled at him and shrugged. “I’ll try.”

*

Seriously, people. The engaged light is on. “Someone’s in here.”

“Oh, I know.”

Dani heard the voice and hung his head, cringing, very excited, immediately very turned on, very terrified by the possibility, cursing the fact he’d fallen in love with a lunatic. “You’re not serious.”

“No one else from the paddock on this flight. I’m dead serious.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“I know. If you don’t open the door, though, that will be a worse idea.”

“Don’t be evil. That’s either blackmail-“

“It is blackmail and I don’t have a problem with it. Open the door, lovvvverrrr.”

“Shhhh!” Dani’s cheek was now pressed against the door, still cringing, only praying no one on the other side was listening to the exchange. I will kill you. “I swear to God-“

“God can’t hear us up here. Only the devilllll.”

“Marc Marquez, GO BACK TO YOUR SEAT.”

“Ok, how about this…every ten seconds I’m stood here waiting, I’ll remove another piece of clothing.”

“You’ll get arrested…”

”Maybe. Or maybe I’ll find true love…”

Dani waited, heart hammering, forehead pressed against the door, mouth now dry from panic but then starting to water at the thought of it, desperately trying to ignore the heat in his groin, wondering if he’d actually do it.

“3, 2, 1… right, I’m taking off my t shirt.”

The rustling on the other side of the door made it all too obvious that bluffing was not a Marquez trait.

FUCK. “Please, Marc. Pleaseee…”

“Open the door.”

He took one more deep breath, checking his hair in the mirror, more than aware of exactly what that meant, apparently I am going to open the door, and then did just that, just about managing to slide the lock back into place before Marc’s lips crashed onto his, breathless already, half-hard already, Marc’s hands already under his t shirt, shimmering over the warm skin and bringing up goosebumps before plunging lower and wrestling his boyfriend’s jeans lower.

“You know sometimes I fucking hate you.”

The younger rider grinned into the kiss and nodded, hand finally closing around Dani’s cock and making his legs tremble, pushing him against the wall to steady them, kiss wet and messy, both ruffled and concentrating more on the desperate hotness of the situation rather than getting everything perfectly right. “Ok.” Marc smiled again and kissed a line down his neck, hairs standing up on his own as Dani’s fingers ran through his hair. “Let’s join the club.” He nipped at the skin under his mouth and then let him go, turning and bracing himself on the opposite wall. “You know this is one situation where it helps how small we are.”

“Small?” The word came out more a growl, the older rider feeling the sudden lack of contact and wrapping his arms around Marc’s waist to undo his jeans, pulling them down, then boxers, pressing his erection against Marc’s crack and smiling at the moan that elicited, pressing his lips against his boyfriend’s ear. “Really…?”

The laugh quickly became a moan, which became a growl, and eventually Dani had his hand clamped around Marc’s face to cover his mouth and try and keep him quiet.

5 hours to Japan and we’ll be going all the way with sticky underwear. Great.

*

“Don’t talk to me.” Alex’s hand immediately went up to his face to stop any and all eye contact. “Don’t look at me.”

“Embarrassed?”

“YES.” The red cheek was visible from behind the makeshift finger-fence. “I’d like to forget this flight forever.”

“Funny that. I’d like to remember it forever…”

“You know, it doesn’t happen very often.” Alex finally gave up on the defense and forced himself to look at his brother’s face. “But sometimes I wish I was an only child. This is one of those times.”

“One of them? Don’t you mean…” Marc trailed off and smirked at Dani before fixing his eyes back on Alex’s burningly embarrassed face. “Three…?”

The younger brother just stared at him, cheeks still cherry, and then carefully put one headphone back in, then the other, finally pivoting back to look at his entertainment system and taking a deep breath.

*

“I told Emilio about the contract thing.” Another hour into the flight, another random comment from nowhere that made Dani jump slightly.

“Hmm?”

“He said he’ll try his best. Which is usually pretty good…”

“Hmm. That’s good then, babe.” The older rider closed his eyes again, dozing, hand automatically finding Marc’s and winding their fingers together, guard down, forgetting where they were, head snuggling into Marc’s shoulder and happy little sigh getting lost in the fabric. “Promising.”

Promising. Marc looked up at his brother, hoping he got the point, and smiled as he did indeed and looked around them to see if anyone was remotely aware of their presence. “I think you’re fine.”

Definitely not why I made him take the window seat. The older brother smiled his thanks and then let his eyes wander back to Dani, eyes closed, face relaxed and impossibly angelic, feeling almost too much to just sit still. I love you so much. Sometimes it actually scares me. He pressed a kiss into his hair, careful not to wake him up and stress him out, confident they were perfectly safe from being seen, and let his head gently rest on his boyfriend’s, giving his hand a squeeze, feeling warmth flood through him again at the little hmmm that hummed against him.

Moments like this will always be special. But I hope in a few weeks they’ll be special just because they are, not because they’re impossibly rare. He nuzzled into Dani’s hair and breathed him in for a few seconds before finally shutting his own eyes and daring a whisper. “I love you, baby.”

“Hmmm.”

And somehow you’re still listening.

Chapter Text

Friday was good, for all three of them. And Alex’s face had gone back to its normal colour by the time they landed, and Dani and Marc had done a reasonable enough job of making themselves look presentable. Japan was pretty crazy, but no crazier than they’d been expecting. Japanese fans were dedicated, though, and they were almost as busy as at a home race with engagements, Marc the most, of course, leaving him curling around Dani by 10pm on Friday night, almost asleep even before his head hit his boyfriend’s chest. Which was fine with Dani, because he got to just lie there for a while and enjoy the feeling, fingers playing a little pattern on Marc’s arm, lips just about able to reach to plant a kiss in his hair, breathing steady enough to make the hotel room feel like the most relaxing place in the world, Dani in sync with him, enjoying the peace to think and plan and, partly, worry. And cliché or not, watching him sleep was one of the most amazing things in the world, so relaxed, cheekbones so perfectly chiseled, nose twitching every now and then. Sleeping perfection.

He judged he probably got to sleep around 1130, snuggling further down under the covers, Marc automatically and subconsciously moving around him again, little hums and noises coming from him that made Dani’s heart swell to ridiculous levels, like he was watching a tiny, fluffy kitten. Not when awake, though. Awake is more panther.

And he felt fine, and Marc felt fine, and it was only when they woke up, at almost the same time, that it became obvious.

“Urgh. Do you feel ill?”

“No. Do you feel ill?”

“Yes. Fuuucckkk.” Marc sat up in bed and winced, hands over his stomach, swallowing hard. “FUCK.”

“Oh God…are you okay?”

“No. I think I’m going to…” He trailed off and launched himself to the bathroom, retching noises echoing back into the bedroom, Dani grimacing, unsure if he should go and try and help or if that would get him killed.

“Marc?”

“Urghh.”

“Do you want me to come in?”

“NO.” More retching. “Thank you. But…you should go. Now.”

“What?!”

“It’s probably something…” Cough. “I ate…but if it’s not, you should get out of here…” More retching. “Please. I’d feel so bad if you got it.”

“But-“

“DANI! Please.”

“But-“

“NO! If I can’t ride, and I’ll TRY…you have to kick Tito’s ass for me.”

“But-“

He wasn’t actually interrupted that time, but Marc didn’t hear a word over the sound he was making himself in the bathroom. “Please, baby. Pleassseeee go….”

“Ok, ok.” Dani sighed and threw the sheets back, picking his clothes up and hurrying them on, stopping by the bathroom door on the way out through the interconnecting door. “No chance you’re going to l-“

“No.”

“Ok. I guess I’ll just walk away then…”

“Don’t. I wouldn’t mind us being gross together but seriously…championship. If I’m not going to win this race, you have to.”

Didn’t really think about that. But that would help. “Ok.” Not ok at all. “I love you. And I’m sorry.”

“I won’t die.” Vomit. “Probably.”

“Don’t joke. And I hope you know I hate myself for doing this.”

“I love you for it but do it faster.”

Heard that before. "H-"

"Don't."

*

No Marc in practice, and Dani topped the sheets. He’d explained the situation to Emilio – and why he wasn’t there with him, which the manager was impressed by, obviously expecting Marc to be more clingy, and they’d sent someone up there to try and help calm his stomach and find out what it was. By the time they were on 10 minute qualifying countdown, everyone had started to consider the possibility of starting at the back, but Marc did show up. He looked like he’d died, but he did show up, and he went out, and he managed to put it 18th. Which was 15 places higher than it could have been, and very impressive given he threw up right before he got on the bike, then again when he got off, and immediately went back to his hotel room and locked himself in again after sending Dani a look that said everything he needed to to congratulate him on pole position, a tinge of frustrated sadness in there too, which was normal for both of them, the toll of keeping everything private was getting a bit much. But not long now. Dani went through the rest of the normal day as it should have been, then went back to his room and dared to knock on the interconnecting door to Marc’s, not expecting much reply, surprised when there was a thud from the other side and he could imagine the younger rider sat leaning on the door like a mirror of him, hopefully head in a similar place, at least making him feel a bit more connected to him.

“Hey. I’ve stopped being sick.”

“So can I come in?”

“No, because it wasn’t food. It’s a virus. And I’m still in pain.”

Dani nodded to himself and took a deep breath, biting his lip, knowing how upset he was at wanting to be there was well over the top – he was, after all, only on the other side of the door – but not being able to stop it. “I can hear it in your voice. I’m so sorry. I…I wish I could make it go away.”

“It’s ok. My abs are even better than before…”

“Uff was it that bad?”

“When I said I’ve stopped being sick, I mean in the last hour. Which is a record. Earlier it was qualifying. Which was 13 minutes.”

“Oh God.”

“I feel like God is paying me back for making you join the mile high club.”

Dani laughed at that slightly, the memory again just making him want to open the door and to hell with the consequences, knowing he would if his race wouldn’t affect the championship. But it could, by a lot. “I think he forgave you. I forgive you, too. It was pretty amazing.”

“See, sometimes I have good ideas.”

“You do. Getting a virus right now wasn’t one of them.”

“I know. Do me a favour?”

“Anything.”

“Stay there and talk to me?”

Awww God. “You really think I’d go anywhere?”

“But you need to eat…” Cough, slight retch. “And be sociable.”

“I already ordered room service. And yeah, I do need to be sociable. So what do you want to talk about?”

“Dani?” A bit quieter, a bit more serious.

“Yeah?”

“I love you so much. I don’t know if I tell you enough.”

“Can we not do this right now?” He cleared his throat, trying to keep it together. “But I love you too. So much. Enough that just one night on the other side of this door is very painful, ok? Now let’s not make me any more of a wimp. Are you drinking enough water?”

There was a slight pause from the other side that Dani could imagine was filled with the same moment of taking a deep breath as he was experiencing on his. “Yes, I’m trying. Earlier, I tried orange juice.”

“I don’t like the way you said that.”

“It was too early to try orange juice.”

“So your impatience is still healthy at least?”

“Back in a minute…”

Aww baby not again? “Ok. I’ll be here.”

“I know.”

*

“Are you awake and/or alive in there?”

“BOTH!”

“How much of either?”

“Quite awake, just about alive...”

“Good. I’m going down for breakfast…”

“TOO EARLY TO TALK ABOUT FOOD.”

Dani grimaced and pressed his ear against the door. “Sorry. Ok. I’ll come back up in a few minutes and see how you are. Ok?”

“Yeah. Update: I tried orange juice again at 4am.”

“I knew I should have found a gas mask and taken that out your fridge.”

“Hey! No! I meant…I had orange juice at 4am and it’s now…720…and I still haven’t thrown it up!!”

“Oh! Ok. Well that’s good.”

“It is! I might come last, but I think I’ll make it to the end of the race…”

“You won’t come last. Bet you.”

“How much?”

“The orange juice from my mini bar.”

“I was thinking 5kgs of gold bullion?”

“Yeah ok, that’s fine.”

“Cool! Go and…go and do the unmentionable thing. Also…”

“Yes?”

“I know Emilio would kill me but…have you got any cigarettes in there?”

“Is that really a good idea?”

“All I can taste is sick and orange juice. Some of which is the same thing.”

“And I thought I’d got away with it without the details. Right…hang on…” He fetched the packet from his jacket and then knocked on the door. “You’re going to have to open up.”

“Promise not to look at me or breathe.”

“Baby when I look at you you take my breath away.”

“Awwwww. But right now, not true. So don’t.” The door opened a crack and Marc’s hand appeared, grabbing at the air. Dani grabbed it, squeezed it and pressed a kiss on the back of it before passing him the cigarettes.

“If you implicate me, I’ll deny everything.”

“Typical.”

*

“So…how is he? Still locked in?”

“Yup.” Dani sighed and sat down opposite the manager. “But…he’s not thrown up for a few hours and he managed to keep some orange juice down, so that’s good.”

“Sounds like I don’t need to ask, then…”

“Honestly? He would have tried to ride even like he was yesterday. But I think today now it’s not as stupid as it would have been. Even a few points would be useful…”

“They would. They really would…”

“But we do have to get some food down him. He needs energy, as well.”

“Hmm. I would-“ Emilio trailed off as his eyes caught the sight in the doorway, Dani turning to look and feeling himself melt. Poor little guy.

“Hello.” Hoarse voice, very very tired eyes, skin kind of grey, hair everywhere, swamped in hoody. Mine. Dani smiled at the sight, that especially making him just want to wrap him up, and very impressed he was there. I want to think you’re wearing that because it smells of me. Not because you’d rather get sick on my clothes instead of yours. “I’m sorry I made your hoody infectious.”

“That’s ok.”

“But it was the only thing you left in the room and I got a bit pathetic in the middle of the night.” Cough. “I, er…I put it on a pillow.”

“Ohh please…” The older rider clenched his fists and bit his lip. “You’re too cute and in pain and I can’t do anything about it.”

“It’s ok.” Marc sat down next to him, checking the room for spying eyes and then giving his leg a squeeze under the table, eyes locked on his, saying everything else. “I’m feeling better. Still.To be honest, I think I’m now fine, but nervous I’m not. And the memory of it is worse than how I actually feel. And…I think if I’m going to race, I’m going to have to try and eat something…”

“We were just saying that.”

“Morning.” He seemed to remember the presence of Emilio and pivoted back towards him, cringing slightly. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry. I'm glad you’re here. Food is a good idea if you think you can keep it down. And...to add a bit more incentive...I think we could get the Honda stuff sorted today, or tomorrow before we go back. If you have a good result today, anyway.”

If I have a good result. He shared a look with Dani and then back at Emilio. “What’s a ‘good result’?”

“As long as they know you’ve been really ill…maybe top 10?”

I thought you were going to say a win by 4 minutes. “Oh. Ok.” Marc nodded, happy enough with that, and then squeezed Dani’s leg again before getting to his feet and starting the slow march towards the breakfast buffet, finding himself pulled back down into his seat.

“You really think I’m going to let go the one opportunity I have to do something nice?”

“But-“

“No buts this time. What do you want?”

You. With cream and marshmallows. “Dry toast, please.” URGH MARSHMALLOWS. NO.

“That’s it?!”

“I can imagine it without wanting to throw up, so yeah. Dry toast. And orange juice. More cigarettes. Don’t judge.” He shot his manager a very serious look and then locked his eyes back on Dani, smirking slightly. “And then, if it’s ok with you, I’d like to briefly come to your room and kiss you good morning.”

“I think that will probably work.”

Chapter Text

“Are you sure you’re ok?”

Now stood in ‘their’ room, which had, due to the illness, become Marc’s, Dani searched his eyes for the truth, rather than the easy oh yeah, I’m fine he could tell Marc had been playing up for his manager.

“Honestly. I’m so much better. I’m just…I don’t know. I’m really nervous. More than normal. I don’t know why, I think maybe just contracts and the future and everything…” He pulled Dani in so they were closer, arms around the older rider’s waist, and smiled. “And I feel a bit gross. But I don’t think I’m infectious anymore. I really don’t. I’ve not thrown up since…1 or 2am? So if you want to take the chance…”

He didn’t wait to give his answer, just covered Marc’s mouth with his, pulling him in, breathing him in, relaxing into the kiss as his tongue was let in and he tasted the toothpaste on his teammate’s, felt himself relax into it as Marc did, hours of door-separated frustration melting away before he pulled away, slightly breathless, locking eyes with him and gently moving some of the hair from his forehead. “You don’t have to be nervous. You’re meant to be doing this. Even if this race doesn’t go how we want, there’s always another. There’s no need to panic. You have the lead, you’re in amazing form, you feel better, and I’m going to be right behind you until T16 in Cheste. And today, if I’m up front and you appear, you’re getting in front of me straightaway, ok?”

“What?”

“Yeah.”

“This isn’t Ferrari, Dani.”

“No, it’s not.” His boyfriend smiled and pulled him into a hug. “When I see you in the mirrors, just take the first opportunity, ok? I’ll be waiting.”

“Really? Because that’s not what we-“

“I know, but this is different. You need that bit extra today, yeah? And I want you to win this title. Because I don’t want to have to lock the doors to kiss you and tell you that I love you. I promise. I never have, since about 2 weeks after I met you. Sometimes I still can’t believe that you love me, ok? So just try and make it look like you took it by force and go and win.”

“I get the feeling this isn’t going to be a repeated offer…”

“One day only. Or maybe season.” The older rider grinned and smacked him slightly on the ass. “So make the most of it.”

*

“Right. You know the drill. Don’t take too many risks. Race for points. Keep your head. If you don’t feel well and it’s dangerous, recognise that and come in. Ok?”

“Ok.”

“Although I know the phrase race for points is a bit wasted on you, but…try?”

Marc glared at his manager and then smirked slightly, knowing that was more than deserved. Glory or gravel, I know. “I’m not going to fuck around. Top 10, I’ll sleep ok. Top 5, I’ll sleep well. Podium, I won’t sleep until tomorrow and neither will Dani.” Wink. “Fair?”

“Hmm…” Emilio gave him a knowing smile and nodded as he walked off, a long way up the grid to Dani to give him his last minute ok don’t be a dick chat, although it was never really needed, he sometimes wondered if he bothered only because talking to the older rider actually calmed him down, like looking at him reminded him that Dani lived with and loved Marc 24 hours a day: sensible Dani managed that and enjoyed that, so Marc must have a layer of something more than just GASSSSSSSS hidden in there somewhere. Although maybe that’s unfair. He’s incredibly sharp. He’s incredibly talented. He’s tactical. But he’s also a sucker for pushing it.

“Ok?”

Just a nod, the Sabadell native not bothering with anything else.

“Good. Not caught the plague off him?”

“No.” Slight smile in his eyes.

“Right. Be careful, enjoy it. You want pit board updates on Marc?”

“No. Too obvious.”

“I agree. Thought I’d give you the option…”

“Appreciated. See you later.”

*

Dani was on pole, and he was usually a good starter, and having more attention on Marc, or maybe not attention, but knowing his result was more important, meant that the warm up lap was incredibly calm for him, compared to usual. Not too many nerves, and he left his visor up until the flag guy started to walk off, flipped it down in a robotic, calm trance, eyes burning the apex of T1 already, something just clicking into place, knowing he was going to get there first. And he did. Unbothered until he was a second and a half clear, sitting up slightly to check the screen, heart bursting when he saw the P10 Maq.

Marc, in 18th, did feel a lot better. He’d eaten 6 slices of dry toast and had a stack of Red Bull that had seemed like a fizzy risk but now seemed like a better idea than any other ever invented. He felt more focused and controlled on the line than he had since Montmeló, for some reason, and everything just felt like an opportunity rather than a fuck up. An opportunity to replace the words ‘Rossi’ and ‘Stoner’ in the headlines with ‘Márquez’. Because 18th whilst vomiting in qualifying (and he had slightly, into his mouth, on the back straight), 1.1 seconds down on Dani, was a miracle in itself. Their bike went well. His boyfriend was waiting for him at the front. His title was waiting for him in Cheste. The ring was waiting for Dani in his bedside cabinet in Barcelona. His brother had come 2nd in Moto3. Ahead there were only 16 people to hit with his favourite thing: overtaking. Nothing to be afraid of. 16 opportunities to feel that spike of adrenalin. And one opportunity to feel extremely grateful.

Starts were never his strong point, but just as had happened in the wet from the back of the grid the year before as a wild card, something was different, and the severity of the situation made it virtually impossible for him to not streak away from the line like lightning. By turn 1, he’d taken 6 people, Dani was out in front, and everything was starting to come together. Whereas in qualifying, feeling horrible, the bike had seemed like his worst enemy, it now seemed like part of him again, and by the end of lap 1 he was closing in on the top 10, although the guys ahead were now more spaced out. Lap 4 saw him get to tenth, lap 6 ninth, lap 9 eighth, Dani still out in front, building a gap, and by lap 11 Marc was sitting in sixth with his head down, screaming after Tom Lüthi who was a second and a half up the road. No tyre trouble, no set up trouble, no rain; the sky was perfect powder blue. Like someone up there knows that yesterday was enough horrible twists of fate.

He caught Lüthi a lap later and overtook him in a way that he was sure would mean he rarely shared a word with the Swiss rider ever again before a 2 lap long duel with Simone Corsi that he was sure had them both swearing at each other in their helmets, finally finding himself chasing Kallio for the final podium spot. Am I actually going to do this? He caught his friend’s teammate relatively easily, him duelling with Dominique Aegerter, Dani long gone, and the two rivals slowing each other up significantly. So he sat there for a lap having a look, really on a mission now, nothing else in his brain, until he passed his pit board and saw P3 on it.

WHAT?!

He just about made it through turn 1 ok, brain screaming at him what that meant, finger taking a little too long to release the brake lever. I can see the two people in front of me. And neither of them are Dani.

Another corner, another braking zone he lost out in slightly, brain spinning, mouth dry.

Neither of them are Dani.

And then they got round to the yellow flags.

Marshalls, Doctor, black and orange 26 in the gravel.

Red flag.

Another corner, sat up, everyone now aware of the situation, Marc’s heart burning in his chest, panic cutting off the air, straining up to look at the screen to try and find out what had happened, everything getting even worse as they didn’t show a thing, a distant conversation from their sofa suddenly cutting through the silence in his head and making him feel sick.

“It’s because he wasn’t moving. They don’t show you what happened if he isn’t moving.”

Dani had given him a sad little smile and squeezed his hand, nervously looking back at the WSBK they were watching, both breathing a sigh of relief as the screen went back to show Marco Melandri getting up.

“It’s after Senna and Simoncelli." His eyes had locked back on Marc's, both of them sharing the knowledge of the real risks they ran, and the kiss had been just a tiny bit different to normal. "They don’t show it. They can't take the risk.”

Chapter Text

The lap back round to the pits was hell, the noise of his panicked breathing deafening in the helmet, even through ear plugs. His leathers felt like they were trying to strangle him and he had to open his visor, not caring about the possible consequences of people seeing, to wipe his eyes enough to see and get back round, tears of whatever emotional cocktail was coursing through him overwhelming. He’s probably fine. It’s just stuff on the track. That’s why they red flagged it. He’s probably fine. He woke up from that trance, brain alternating between he’s fine and you really believe that? only once the front of his bike was already in the hands of the team, steadied to allow him to get off, no one meeting his gaze except Santi and Emilio, and their faces sending him ice cold the second he saw them.

You really believe that?

“Dani.”

Emilio nodded and was about to say something else before Marc turned round and pointed at the front of the garage. “Close the door.”

“We shouldn’t-“

“I DON’T CARE.” He ripped off his helmet and pointed behind him again, Emilio giving up on that complaint immediately and nodding his consent, cameramen pushed back and away. “Close the door. Now.”

Once the sunlight had been replaced by artificial, helmet thrown into the cupboard, breathing still manic and loud and impossibly panicked, he tried to take a deep breath and met his manager’s gaze again. Our manager. Me and you. “What happened.”

“Highside.”

“Bad?”

Emilio and Santi looked at each other, that making it all too obvious, before the manager just nodded and Marc finally felt his knees give way.

You really believe that.

*

457pm

“Coffee?”

“No.”

“Water?”

“No.”

“You want me to be here or go?”

I just want Dani. He looked up at his brother and shrugged, completely helpless, incapable of anything except sitting in the chair and reminding himself to breathe. “Up to you.”

Alex nodded, getting all of that perfectly, and headed back to the door. “Well I’ll be around the hospital. If you need me, or want me, just call. Back soon.”

*

Santi managed to more or less catch him, managing to angle him into a chair, helping him yank the zip down on his leathers and haul himself out down to the waist, chest still heaving with the effort of not panicking, on the border between calm and chaos, everything flying through his mind at 200 miles an hour. Dani, everything about Dani. How Dani smelt, how he tasted, how he looked at him, how he felt, how he loved him, how he raced, how he’d not even asked him to marry him yet, how he’d wasted 5 months, how he’d felt when Alex had been hit by that car, how he’d felt when he’d been hit by the truck, how he’d felt when Dani had held him there for those few precious life changing seconds in that hotel on the border when he’d somehow known and not known at the same time that it was one of the most important moments of his life. Dani who kept going, Dani who’d been reignited, Dani who broke his own heart for the contract that was now so close, Dani who’d been waiting for him at the front and who he felt like he’d stood up.

Dani in the air ambulance.

“Is there video?”

“Yes. And there’s no fucking way you’re watching it.” Emilio crouched in front of him and grabbed his hands, Marc’s eyes eventually meeting his and shining back at him, full of moisture that would crash down the next time he blinked. “We were over two thirds. You’ve increased your lead. You’re on the podium. The podium’s going ahead, I assume you’re going to the hospital instead. There’ll be a car ready in a couple of minutes.”

“Ok.”

“You want me to ride you down to it?”

“Yes. You. You or Santi. Please.”

“Ok. Now?”

“Yes. I’ll get changed.”

“Ok. But you have to stop crying.”

Marc looked up at him again and the flash of venom over his face made the manager gulp, word laced with it. “What?”

“I know. I’m sorry. But from this back door to the car, you can’t cry. You understand?”

“I understand but I don’t care.”

“I know, I don’t think I would.” Emilio took a deep breath and squeezed his hands. “But he would. He will.”

That really didn’t help.

*

834pm

“Any news yet?”

“No.”

“So that’s a positive in a way?”

“Hmm.”

“Coffee?”

“No.”

“Water?”

“No.”

“Cigarette?”

Something snapped at that and Marc was already half way to the door, nodding, everything changed from trying to sit as still as possible to make it go away; beautiful, horrible naivety convincing a small part of him that would work, and it was replaced by a desperate need to move. “Coffee. Cigarettes. And I want to talk to Jorge.”

What? “Right…”

“How do I get out?”

“Left, right, left.”

Alex had to almost jog to keep up, Marc bursting out the doors into the cold night air like he was coming up from the sea bed, gulping the air down, leaning on his knees, then silently taking the cigarette and lighting it, not needing to ask to know his brother had then disappeared for the coffee, handing him his phone first, already dialled and ringing.

“You know anything?”

“No.” “He makes sense, if nothing else.”

“You still on your feet?”

“Just about.”

“It wasn’t too obvious.”

“Good. If anyone guesses he’ll kick my ass so hard.”

“Yup.” The Mallorcan paused then, both of them listening to the silence on the other end of the line, perfectly aware of the tense Marc had used, clinging onto it like the last lifeboat leaving the Titanic.

“Ok.” Marc coughed and felt his cheeks wet again. “Just wanted to talk to you really.”

“Hmm. I wish I was there.”

“I wish you were here.”

“Fuck.”

“Sorry I didn’t…” He let out a sob and bit the back of his hand, that song meaning a lot to everyone. “I-I didn’t think.”

“It’s ok.” The sound of a deep breath, shaky but in control, came back down the line. “Let me know. Eat. Drink. Smoke if you want. Sleep. Don’t give up.”

“Well…someone wise once told him that when you love someone, you don’t give up. And he told me.”

“I’m not sure if he was wise or just trying to get through a maze without a map.”

“Wise. Promise.”

“Keep going.”

“Keep answering your phone.”

“Always. Talk soon.”

He listened to the sign off, cancelled the call, found his fingers close around a cup of coffee instead of a phone, and lit another cigarette, taking a sip and feeling the dual effect, heart rate settling back down slightly, the hours ahead somehow now moulded into a concrete challenge.

“That help?”

He nodded at his brother and gulped, leaning into the half hug he was offered. “Always. Irony, right?”

“Irony?”

“Yeah. Yelled at me last week arguing about Luis Suarez. Dick.”

What?! “Right...”

“Wrong, again. But he always helps.”

*

No one in the hospital had asked. That’s what his mind was wandering over by the time the moon was high enough to light the room unaided. No one asked who he was or why he was there for Dani Pedrosa, they just seemed to look at the look in his eyes and nod, nothing more needed to be said, nothing more possible to say, leading him down to where he was now, where he’d been indefinitely since the moment he’d arrived, Japanese limbo that could have been a room in any hospital in the world.

We’ll keep you updated.

He was in surgery, to start with. He’d not broken that much, he wasn’t bleeding everywhere, he was still in one piece. That made Marc relax, a lot, then made him incandescently angry at the emotional game the doctor had been playing as he hit him with the last bit. Just his head.

Oh, just that bit.

Alex had immediately actually restrained him. Just that bit. Just the bit that ruins people. “Right.”

“So first we’re going to alleviate some of that pressure, and then we’ll come back with more information and some decisions. Ok?”

Decisions. The word sent ice down his spine and he felt Alex’s hand steady him in the small of his back. Decisions. “Right. What are the odds?”

The older man looked shocked at the question, at the way he’d just said it, faced it, blurted it across the space between them, unused to someone who was used to standing face to face with pressure and demons and not backing down. “Well we can’t really say right n-”

“Give me something.”

The doctor seemed to fidget slightly and looked away, gaze coming back at him too much, Marc’s words a definitive command rather than question.

“Right now he’s on the border. If that helps.”

Marc nodded as he walked out, Alex’s hand letting him go again, and then sat back in the chair, 10 or 15 minutes staring intensely out at the rain that had started, watching it glint in the moonlight, how it looked so fast when you watched it all but seemed to slow so much when you focused on one drop, and then felt his shoulders start to shake, quietly at first, not too much joining them, gradually more and more of him giving up to it until he was dragged onto the floor by Alex, the only place with enough room for him to wrap him up, and felt his breath go back to that panicked, fast rhythm from under his helmet when he’d realised, the memory making the control harder this time around, flashes of the track and the gravel and the red flag finally too much and hearing himself trying to take in big gulps of air, completely panicking as it really sunk in.

“Breathe. Come on, slow…” The younger brother propped him up against the wall and sat next to him, breath loud, giving him a reference point to try and hold onto and mirror, squeezing his hand and trying to look away to keep his own emotional baggage well away from his brother. “One step at a time, ok? Just slow down. Calm.”

Marc nodded, knowing that made all the sense in the world, knowing that was the only useful thing in the world, and forced himself to follow the lead, quieter, hand like a vice around Alex’s, grabbing on like he was scared he’d get ripped away any second, staring up at the ceiling until the room was calmer again. “Don’t leave me again. Please.”

Again? Alex stole a glance at him and frowned. Never. “I haven’t and I won’t.”

Marc squeezed his hand and then looked back at him, smiling slightly through the tears, still wracked by some sobs but breathing at least, shaking his head.

“Sorry. I wasn't talking to you.”

Chapter Text

Decisions.

The first operation had gone well. Dani was now definitely alive, for the moment, stable and breathing and brain free of pressure. The decisions that were weighing on Marc’s mind before were now even worse now that he knew what they were: there were no parents, no family, there was just him. And in the hospital far away from the track, he took the risk and he told them the truth, if the state of him hadn’t made it obvious. Yes, I have the authority. Because he’s my fiancé. So maybe that part wasn’t true in terms of wearing a ring, but what else could he say? He’s the love of my life. He’s with me. He’s mine. He’s Dani. That last one, to Marc, seemed like it should have been enough. Because Dani is with Marc and Marc is with Dani and really there’s nothing else to say.

He’d seen him briefly, through a window opposite his boyfriend’s bed, swamped in blankets and tubes, lying there peacefully, looking so incredibly tiny and fragile, low beep making its way through the wall, getting louder as Marc leant his forehead on the glass, palms flat either side of him, sound vibrating through the barrier, staring in, completely powerless and feeling it then more than he ever had in his life. At least when it was me, I was holding the cards. He’d stood there in silence for a few minutes, just watching, terrified the beeping was suddenly going to stop and he was going to see the unimaginable, as though he could somehow cause that by breathing so close to him, moving or crying or even just by being there, but then worse, crushing paranoia that the second he left, Dani would somehow know, and then it would happen. Alone, in a hospital room in Japan, because Marc wasn’t strong enough to stand there all night. After he didn’t come back after 15 or 20 minutes, Alex had gone in to get him, understanding that, knowing it too well, all three of the other members of the Márquez household having been paralysed by the same superstition. This might be the last time I see him breathing. Eventually, he got him back to the others, talked him down, and grabbed onto his hand the same way he remembered his mother’s grip crushing his, echoes of similarities smothering him.

*

“He’s going to be ok, isn’t he?”