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Something was wrong.
You felt it in the way your left shoulder creaked, and a little above, something inside your neck pulled. But the lady on the laptop screen didn’t notice, she continued to cheer.
“Push through it, yes! That’s how you’ll get your arms all nice and toned, woo!”
Ignoring the little voice in your head that warned you to stop right then if you wanted to avoid a massive injury, you increased the pace. So intense was the focus you put into keeping your arms up that you didn’t notice the person who had strolled into the room.
“Feel the burn!”
Her voice cut through the fiery beat playing in the background, and you wondered at that. Was pain and burn the same?
In that moment, something of another kind, a different sensation altogether, struck your chest. A sting , it was sharp and sudden, making you drop your arms. Being shot, was this how that felt? Mouth ajar, you were gulping in air, and in those difficult moments, nothing seemed to satiate your starved lungs.
How ever would you have gotten through it, if it hadn’t been for that voice in your ear? It came rushing the moment you had begun wheezing.
“Breathe. You’re just out of breath.”
You did as he said, and a moment later, the ache in your chest having numbed, twisted around.
Eyebrows dipping in concern, Hoseok had a hand floating in the air, as if he had first reached out for you and then stopped himself. You sighed. The lady worked her arms and laughed without a care in the world; you shut her up.
This was supposed to make you feel strong, so why did you, with every day that went by doing this workout, get only weaker ? In fact, you were worse off than before, when all your arms couldn’t do was grab luggage off the airport conveyor belt. Now, as you waited, it hurt even to stay still.
You hadn’t the slightest clue that your eyes were watering until you felt hardened skin on your face. Hoseok’s fingers on your cheek.
“Baby?”
Turning your head away, you fixed your eyes on an emoticon cushion, one of many that littered the couch you sat on. It had two lines for eyes and one line for the mouth. Done, dead-looking.
“Since when have you been doing this?”
He didn’t know. You bit your lip. Just last night, Hoseok had come back from tour. Wondering if it was too early, your gaze climbed up the wall to the clock. 5:45 . The light of the day was leaving. You didn’t look at him as you mumbled.
“For the past week.”
Now his other hand was up, two palms caging your face.
“That’s great” , he breathed out. Swallowing, you clenched your fists.
“But why do you look so embarrassed about it?”
The volcano burped and lava spilled.
“I can’t even do 1kg weights properly, Hoseok!” , you whined, feeling like a little girl who was denied her dessert. “At this rate, my arms will never be like yours.”
Even before the words had fully left your mouth, your hand was leaving your lap. With a pout, you traced the curves and the dents and the ridges, thinking. How Hoseok’s arm alone was more interesting than a significant number of the personalities present in your life.
But you couldn’t draw invisible lines for long.
Feeling his fingers tied round your wrist, you stopped, then for the first time since he was here, took a proper look at his face.
Crescent eyes, crimson-tipped nose, crinkling corners, his mouth was like a jar bursting with jelly beans; it could spill the sweets any moment now.
And, confirming your prediction, it did .
The laughs came rolling out, soaked in sugar and crystal-coated, they washed over your gloom.
Leaving a sore irritation in their wake.
You spat his name so hard, and so literally, it had him scrubbing at his face with a gag, trying to rid it of the beads of saliva that had leaped out of your mouth.
“I’m sorry” , he cried out, “but you’re so-“ , choking on laughter, it took him a while to get his shit together. “So cute, baby~ You love oppa’s arms so much that you want them for yourself, is it?”
You couldn’t even hide your humiliation, faking anger was out of the question.
He was bringing your hands to his lips. Found yourself sighing at the kisses being sprinkled all over them, it was pampering at its finest. A hot shower and body gel, the one infused with lilies, plus him sticking to you like the water on your skin was glue, this . This was all that you needed at the moment, and you couldn’t wait to get it,
“Up” , came his order.
The mouth left, your hands fell, he rose. You blinked up at him.
“What?”
“Up.”
It was louder this time around, he sounded stern.
Shakily, you stood, noting the way his eyes had hardened, hands stuffed into his sweats, those shoulders ran from east to west, broader than ever. Gone , was every sign of the guy who had been smothering you a minute ago.
He lifted a hand, gesturing you to move. Hesitant, you went forward. Four steps, and then he was pulling you by your waist. You yelped, getting spun around, your back colliding against his chest, the world stopping for a moment the same way you froze.
Now his teeth were next to your ear, biting. Angry.
“Tell me you’ve been stretching.”
His teeth. They were so close to the heart that beat in your ear, you grimaced. Picturing them sinking into the muscle, one wrong word, and there’d be blood everywhere. You wanted nothing more than to tell Hoseok exactly what he wanted to hear. Even if it was a plain white lie.
“I have-“ , you started, only to get cut off.
“The truth.”
Water splashed on the face, makeup ran down the drain.
You whispered, “I haven’t.”
Eyes on the floor, the shame kept your head down.
“Haven’t what?”
The disappointment bellying his voice kicked the words out of you; impatiently, you cried:
“I haven’t been stretching, because I think it isn’t important!”
What followed was silence . The kind of silence in an examination hall, minutes before the bell goes off and they start writing. This silence was more of smartness than blankness, extreme preparation as compared to an empty noggin. Not ‘I don’t know what to say’ , it was ‘I know just what to say, I’m waiting for the right time’.
And when that time at last came,
“ Ah!” , you shrieked.
Hidden behind from view, but it wasn’t hard to paint a picture. From the palette imprinted on your neck, left there by teeth that were retreating now. Threads of saliva pulled taut between them and your skin. Found yourself wanting to turn around and put on display the shock that had burnt your heart black, but he held you in place. The guy who had bitten you wouldn’t let go.
“Hurts, doesn’t it?” , he asked, and you, feeling the full force of that sharp tingle cascade over your collar bone, nodded desperately. Hoseok stated, “That’s pain” , very plainly.
Dizzy from all the doubts that feasted on your ability to think straight, you were just about to turn to him for an explanation when the next blow came. Fingers, this time. Like green ivy hugging window grills, they wrapped themselves around your neck, but it didn’t stop there. Screws tightened. You bit down on your teeth.
“Can’t breathe?” , he asked, and you, listening to the way something inside your throat throbbed against his palm, flung out a silent gasp. “Lack of circulation” , he informed.
When they uncoiled, you could feel air on your neck again. The tears were angry, tired of staying down, they unleashed riots all over your face. Scratching at the arms he had locked on your waist, “Hoseok” , you pleaded. Just his name, but from the cracks in your voice, were poking out, the swollen heads of so many agonising questions.
A faint kiss. That was the last thing you felt on your right shoulder, before fingers tangled themselves in your hair. A tug. Arching neck. He yanked your head back, at the same time saying, “Uncomfortable?”
Tiny boat-shaped dents littered his forearms. The work of your nails that wouldn’t stop clawing for release. You tried gulping, couldn’t do it when all that reached your eyes was the fan and the ceiling; made an attempt to calm yourself down, but how would that be fruitful unless he allowed it? Just a nobody, you were, and Hoseok wore the crown.
A hard tug, sharper this time. He was thinking out loud, “What would happen if I pulled harder, baby?”
A whimper left your mouth in response, body jolting every time you swallowed. “What” , he taunted, “Your neck would snap in two, wouldn’t it?”
With that, he was letting go. The both of you separated, like banana peel from the flesh. And as you held the back of your neck, panting wildly, his voice came from behind.
“Injury.”
You fell to your knees.
Click!
It had been a lesson .
Eyes widening at the epiphany, you straightened up and turned around. He was still. A raised eyebrow, lips stapled together, expectant eyes, and that chest . Your vision blurred. That chest was so swollen, so big, protruding with all the pride in the world.
Before any of you could say anything, your legs were speeding in his direction, for there was nothing more you wanted to do then than throw at him, a bunch of solid punches.
Hoseok blinked, then feeling his heart thump at the way your clenched fists rained down on his chest, burst out into a fit of giggles. Something akin to a battle cry left you. The unpredictability of it all, not knowing when the next attack would come had you teetering on edge. In between soft chuckles, he squeaked out.
“Looks like you’ve figured it out, princess. It’s time for the test.”
You jumped up and back. “whAt!?”
But ignoring you, “Tell me” , he only went on. “What happens when you don’t stretch?”
They came back in flashes, but in full force. Teeth, fists, fingers. Marks left behind, lingering sensations you couldn’t ever forget. Of pain, of strain, of being almost broken.
He was staring down at you, in waiting, and as if it was an actual lesson from a textbook meant to be memorised, you recited.
“I’ll feel pain. There won’t be enough circulation in my body, and” , you paused, gulped, “I might get injured.”
The lines on the floor that marked sides of each tile, you traced them with your eyes. He had been so worried . Your ignorance had gotten Hoseok so worried that he had felt it necessary to make you understand . To teach you in a way you’d always remember.
At that thought, it glowed pink, your heart.
You were too overwhelmed to take in the sight of him, but he didn’t care. Your chin was being lifted from underneath by a warm finger, you were forced to gape at his gentle face. Leaning down, Hoseok kissed the corner of your mouth, ignoring the tongue that darted out and asked for more. You pouted.
“You did so well, baby. Such a smart student.”
That seemed to suffice, a stream of fire and flowers flooded your veins. Passion and love. Throwing your arms around his neck, you swooped in to catch those lips, beaming and plump, then stopped. Dragging your toe along the side of his calf, your mouth so close to his yet not quite touching, you spoke.
“I get a reward then. Shower with me?”
He pecked you, grinning, “Let’s go.”
A squeal tore past your lips, you were already skipping away when something closed around your wrist. What now.
Stomach dropping, you looked over your shoulder to be greeted by eyes that were growing dark again.
A lead black sky, it was clear then, this night wasn’t letting you sleep just yet.
Voice thick like rain-filled clouds, Hoseok repeated, “Let’s go” ,
and then he dropped the bomb.
"After you’re done stretching.”
Oh, fuck.