Archive of Our Own ^beta

A lot can change in a couple of years. Friends die, kingdoms crumble, and I find out about sex. One evening when I was sixteen-and-a-half-years-old I stumbled into the men’s showers and helped myself to an eyeful of Connie rutting into Sasha on the cold, soggy floor. Naturally, I screamed. All that accomplished was to scare the shit out of Sasha. Her first reaction was to kick Connie…out. He landed spread-eagle on his back and—fuck, I really don’t want to remember this, but every time I think about what happened I inevitably picture the exact fucking shape and girth of his dick as if it had flown out of Sasha’s pussy not a minute ago. I should’ve just looked away. But I hadn’t really seen a dick like that before, all hard and red and glistening. In retrospect it was a pretty small dick. But Sasha seems happy with it, so good for them, I guess. She got over the whole thing pretty quickly. Connie, on the other hand, refused to meet my eyes for a couple of months after that. I was all too willing to oblige.

I think the moment I saw Connie’s dick that way—oh God, stop thinking of Connie’s dick—the moment I saw a dick that way was the moment the insatiable sex fiend in me awakened. Yeah. I mean, I was horrified by what I had seen, because it was Connie and Sasha, come on, but I also felt…hot. Tight. Deep in my belly. Ladies and gentlemen, my first encounter with sexual arousal. I’m still miffed that it happened in those circumstances.

But that’s beside the point. After that night, everything changed.

I guess here is where I’ll bring up Eren. Eren was my first crush. Puppy love, Armin called it. Yeah, Eren made me feel all warm and cute on the inside, and I’ll be the first to admit I was a little obsessed with him back then. But after seeing Connie’s dick—oh fuck me stop thinking about it—I couldn’t help but trying to picture his dick. Which really didn’t work out well, because I had seen his dick before. You know, when we were kids, and Auntie made us bathe together. So no matter how I tried, all I could picture was a tiny kiddie dick. Even worse, I couldn’t get it out of my head for days. Inevitably, I tried to picture it in me…and. Um. Yeah. Any tingly feelings that I might have held for Eren were snuffed out right there and then.

I guess I have Connie’s dick to thank for helping me get over Eren. Oh gross I did not just.

Moving on.

It was bound to happen sooner or later. My sexual awakening, that is. Hormones and all. I understand (very well) that people my age get very eager over that sort of thing. One night when Sasha wasn’t fucking Connie I got over my awkward feelings and asked her to explicate the details of the dirty. In retrospect I’m glad my parents didn’t try to explain it to me all those years ago.

Sasha, fortunately (and at some points of the conversation, unfortunately), was very good at explaining all that I needed to know and then some. Then she gave me her extra dildo. Didn’t bother asking where the hell she got it from, let alone why she had an extra dildo. Wasn’t sure I wanted to take it, either, to be honest. At that point in my career, I’d faced down some pretty intimidating titans, but nothing compared to that massive thing she shoved in my hands. Maybe because I was supposed to shove it in my vagina. Yeah, I’d rather take on titans any day. (At least at that point in time…but that’s for later.) It was also much bigger than Connie’s di—oh, forget it.

So. That’s how I got my first dildo. It was a crude apparatus—a long, oblong block o’ wood. Sasha suggested that I finger myself to prep for it—otherwise it would hurt. I told her I didn’t know how to finger myself. So, Sasha being Sasha…she pushed me flat on her bed and yanked my pants off. I laugh at the memory now, but I was pretty fucking scared back then. She was going to put what in where? But it really wasn’t much to worry over. Sasha took care of me verywell. Used her tongue, too—bless the girl.

And that was how I got my first orgasm. And. Um. My second.

She was good.

Anyway. To put it in a short way, that first orgasm opened my eyes. I had never felt so…free. So good. So purely good. I loved it. I wanted more. I wanted to feel good. Over and over and over again.

You bet I used that dildo.

But it wasn’t enough. There was something—missing. Obviously. I was fucking a piece of wood.

Sasha was great, but in the end she was Connie’s partner, and she didn’t have a dick (though her tongue and fingers worked very well). At some point I started fantasizing about others while playing with my dildo. It was natural. Hormones and all, I’m telling you. I’ll never admit it aloud, but I had these thoughts about virtually everyone in the squad. Yes, even Eren. Eventually. Hey, that boy grew up fine. So did Armin. Puberty was good to Armin. Sometimes I’d think of him sliding his fat cock in me and driving me so deep and good as I wrap my hands around his neck and pull on his pretty golden hair and tell him to fuck me harder, faster, oh so good again and again and again. Or I’d think of Jean, and how he’d get on his knees, cock red and veined and bulging out of the waistband of his uniform, begging me to tie him up until his skin’s bleeding from the wires and his stone hard cock’s weeping from how much he wants me to tug at it. And I’d close in on the tip and blow a few puffs of air, like Sasha taught me, and he’d scream his throat hoarse. Then I’d shove it in my tight, wet cunt, and fuck it so good that I’d come once, twice, three times. And I’d make him hold it. Make him beg me to let him go until his knees are knocking and he’s almost sick from the need to shoot it in me.

But even those fantasies began to bore me. Well, to be more accurate: the people featured in them. Because while it was fun to imagine fucking my peers, the way they behaved in real life…yeah. No. They didn’t arouse me in person. Sure, they were fit, but none of them could actually handle me. Must be the hormones or something, but I felt a deep need to be dominated. Really dominated. Put in a situation where I can’t turn the tables just because I wanted to. Yeah, I wanted someone to fuck the words and the breath out of me. And there were only two people in the corps who could feasibly do so.

That was how I started rubbing off to older men.

Guess who. Ha-ha.

I’m so dirty.

It feels different, though, panting and moaning on my dildo to thoughts about my superiors. Feels naughty. A real thrill. I want the Commander to spread me apart on his desk with his big, rough hands, with his papers still strewn beneath my back. Want to feel his thick fingers hooked deep in me, pumping and curving until I come all over his documents and squeeze his fingers so hard that he can’t even pull ‘em out. And the Captain would be watching, yeah. He’d be watching, and he’d be so hard and tight in his short little pants, and he’d stalk over and lift me up and spin me around on the desk, and those papers would be flying everywhere. He’d pin me down hard, and I’d fight his grip, kick at him, but in the end he’d win. He always wins. Fucking hell.

God, I’m so wet just thinking about it. Need my dildo now. I’ve brought it with me, actually. I’ve taken to getting off in these lonely, moonlit corners of the base because none of the girls enjoy listening to me come under my blankets. Apparently I can get pretty loud.

Okay, I’ve got it, going to put it in—ah. Yes. So good. So fucking good. One of these days I’m going to fuck myself on real dick, real good.

Back to the Captain. He’d hold me down by the arms, and it’d bruise so good. Ah, fuck. That fucking shorty. He’s so hot when he presses down on me that I don’t mind much when I lose to him in training sessions. Though I do revel in the occasional kick that I land. Fuck, I’m so wet. Ah. Mm. Yeah. Need him to fuck me like this. He’d grind and fuck my clit against his knee and make me beg for his big fat cock, but I’d bite my lip. No fucking way I’d give in so easily. He’d have to make me beg. And he’d punish me for it, pinch and twist my nipples until they’re hard and hurting. Oh yes, it’d hurt so fucking good. And he’d shove his cock in, and rut, like this, oh, fuck, Captain, you feel so fucking good, fuck me harder—

“What the fuck.”

Oh shit. Oh fucking hell mother fucking shit fucker ass fuck fuck fuck—

“Um. Captain Levi. Commander Smith. What brings you two here.”

I AM SO FUCKED. Captain Levi is staring at my open, wet cunt, and the dildo hovering over it. Commander Smith’s eyebrows are very, very high. I’m so mortified that I can’t bring myself to throw it aside.

“We were patrolling and heard some strange noises. Came to see if Braus and Springer weren’t breaking curfew and going at it like fuckin’ rabbits again. Can’t say I was expecting to find…this.”

OH FUCK ME SO HARD AND NOT IN THE GOOD WAY.

“Um. Sorry for breaking curfew. And. um. For this. I’ll just…head back…now…”

I’m not sure how I thought this would end, but I was entirely prepared to just pull up my panties and abscond into the night. How the fuck would I live this down. Mother, Father, I am so sorry for dishonoring you. Auntie, Dr. Yeager, I am so sorry that I won’t be able to protect Eren anymore when they kick me out of the Corps tomorrow.

What I didn’t expect was for the fucking shorty put a boot to my shoulder and kick me back onto the floor.

Ow.

“Not so fast,” the fucking shorty said. I couldn’t make out either of their gazes in the darkness, but it seemed that both him and the Commander were appraising my disheveled state. This was very uncomfortable.

“Um.” Yeah. What the fuck do you say to that? I guess I’ll just…hide my dildo behind my back to make this less awkward. But no, the fucking shorty stepped on my arm before I could shove it out of sight.

OW.

“Is this what the brats are playing with these days,” the fucking shorty said. God I hated his stupid, dark voice. But my pussy twitched a little at it. Fucking fuck.

“Now, now, Levi,” drawled the Commander, and my pussy twitched a second time.  Fuck. “There’s nothing wrong with letting off a little steam every now and then. Miss Ackerman certainly deserves it after all the good work she’s done in the field.”

Is it possible to want to rub against a hypothetical smile in a voice? Because that’s how I’m feeling about the hypothetical smile in the Commander’s voice. Damn it, I wish I hadn’t been cut short.

But at the same time…what’s going on here? Are they going to punish me?

“She was panting my name like a bitch in heat,” said the fucking shorty. He bent over me, and placed his arms over my head, against the wall. “Is this how you let off steam, you filthy little girl?”

Oh FUCK DAMN SHIT ASS BITCHIN’ FUCK HE HEARD ME—

Wait. Was I imagining things, or did he purr that into my ear? He did. Damn. I could get off on that. I guess he saw that in my face, because the next thing I know he’s pushing me against the wall and the floor and spreading my legs apart with his warm, rough hands. A sudden breeze grazed my soaked panties, and I moaned.  

What the fuck is happening?

“Fuck,” he said. Then he tore off my panties with a single hand, baring my pussy to the cold.

I’m not sure if I should feel aroused or alarmed at this point, so I look to the Commander for guidance. He’s leaning against the opposite wall and stroking his chin. Okay then. 

Before I could consider what his silence entailed, Captain Levi yanked my dildo from my hands and shoved it into my pussy, hard. I shrieked. God, yes. What the fuck is going on, oh whatever, I needed that. It hurt, sure, but it felt so much better that way.

“You’re so fuckin’ filthy, Ackerman,” said Captain Levi. There was a sneer in his voice, but I could hear the underlying huskiness. Score.

“Oh, fuck, yes. Fuck me harder, Captain,” I spat, and rubbed my clit.

If we’re going to do this, I might as well play along. I snuck a peek at the Commander. He was looking at me, stroking his lip, and that sent a spark of heat straight where it tightened. Captain Levi noticed and shifted to block the Commander from my line of sight. Asshole.

“I bet you like it like this,” he growled, and pumped the dildo so rough and hard in me, faster than I could have done on my own, that I felt the white-hot crest of pleasure rise and shoot through all my nerves until I was shuddering and screaming and clawing at his biceps.

“Oh, yeah, yeah! Oh, Captain, fuck me!”

We were really getting into it now.

When I came down, panting, I still had no idea what was going on, except that it felt amazing and I didn’t want it to stop. Captain Levi seemed to have charted a course of action all on his own, and tossed my dildo over his shoulder. Making a perfect arc, it landed in the Commander’s hands.

The Commander brought it to his nose and smelled it. Then he licked it.

“Very good,” he said. A slow, dark smile bloomed across his face.

I wanted to pounce and ride him right there and then.

But I guess that wasn’t in the fuckin’ shorty’s plans, because he flipped me over with a rough hand. I landed on my knees and elbows. That was going to bruise, so I turned my head and spat in his eyes. I began to regret it just a little when he wiped his hand down his face with the gloomiest glare I have ever seen him throw at me (and that is saying something).

“I’ll make you pay for that, you brat,” he growled. I heard a zip and a shuffle of his pants being kicked off, and bit back a gulp, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing my fear and arousal.

“I’d like to see you try, shorty.”

What did you expect me to say? He pissed me off first! No, what am I saying. I’m an idiot. He’s the one at an advantage right now. Fuck. That’s kind of hot.

“You’re going to get exactly what you’re asking for,” he said, and without further ado, plunged into my sore pussy.

“Fu-uck,” I cried out. He felt incredible. So different from the cold wooden dildo I was used to. So much better, warmer, with a little curve at the end that hit the right spot. “Oh, shit, uh, yeah, you feel so fucking good, right there, right there, uh!”

He felt so big. Who knew.

“Oh, shit, you’re—so—tight,” he grunted.

“Fuck, fuck, oh, fuck,” I moaned, until I couldn’t even swear coherently. He just felt that good, all hard, hot muscle against my back, burning mouth tracing my spine and biting my neck, restless hands pulling at my hair and digging into my waist, dick rutting rough and deep into the wet walls of my pussy until all I could do was scream for more. Shaking against the force of his thrusts, I pushed myself up with my hands, and arched into the little curve of his cock, fucking back into it with airy pants, wanting more of that nerve-blinding heat. I’d never felt so hot in my life, and I was burning up, up, up into the swell of his amazing dick.

“Oh, yes, I’m going to come, yes, fuck me ri-ight there!” I screamed. He grasped my waist rough enough to bruise, and shoved into that perfect spot over and over and over again, fucking me just the way I needed him to. Oh, yes, he was so good, so good, and I was coming all over his perfect dick, coming so hard, oh, oh.

That was amazing.

Still hard inside my cunt, he stood shakily, and dragged me up against the wall by the neck.

“I’m not done with you yet,” he growled.

“Gonna make me come again, Captain?” I hissed, and tightened my legs around his waist, tightened my shuddering pussy around his cock. He groaned and shoved deep, deep, deep. I gasped at the new angle and the warmth of my walls clinging onto his leaking cock as it slipped out and in, slow at first, then faster and rougher. I was burning up. I tried to hang on, but he fucked me into the stone cold wall so perfectly that my mouth came slack with drool and my eyes fluttered erratically.

“Yeah, give me your hard cock right there, right there, so fucking good,” I urged, feeling the white-hot urgency of the rising tide. Swearing with a groan, Captain Levi bit my neck and my ears and palmed my clit with one free hand as he worked my pussy open so hard that my entire body was slamming against the wall from the force of his hips. Just then, the Commander’s eyes caught mine, deep, dark, and hungry.

I came with a breathless gasp, staring into his eyes. A few quick thrusts later, Captain Levi seized up with a loud groan, and tore the flesh on my shoulder with his teeth as he pumped his cum into me.

“I’ll take it over from here,” said the Commander, and strode over, without letting us pause to bask in the post-orgasmic glow. Captain Levi glowered at him, but released me into the Commander’s arms, and slumped onto the floor without a word.

At this point, I was exhausted. The marvelous, incredible, talented shorty had made me come three brilliant times, and I was ready to doze off into the night.

But the Commander seemed to have other ideas. And hey, I’d fantasized so much about him that I might as well take him up on his offer. He had only been watching the entire time, too. I guess the strangeness of the entire night—and my three consecutive orgasms—granted me some courage, because soon I was snaking a hand down his torso and grasping his clothed erection.

He was hard. And comically huge. What the fuck? Well, I guess it matched his height. I trembled.

“I see you’re eager to begin again, Miss Ackerman,” he said, and smiled. I licked my lips and returned it. Oh, how I trembled under that smile. How I rubbed off to it.

“Well, the night is still young,” I said, and kicked myself on the inside for saying it. Captain Levi snorted, and I flushed with a scowl. I was just not cool and collected around this man. My chest fluttered as he carried me to a chair in the corner of the room. What was he going to do?

Sitting on the chair, he placed me on his lap, facing him.

Oh.

Yes.

I could feel that perpetually horny part of me stirring in interest at the rough shape of his hardness against my pussy. Ah, adolescence.

“Commander…”

I shifted against him. He held me steady.

“Relax, Miss Ackerman,” he said.

Stroking my hair, he grazed his lips over my neck and my collarbone, and sighed. I rocked against his crotch, desperate for more heat. This time, he didn’t stop me, but clenched my waist tighter, letting me slip my fingers under the waistband of his uniform.

“You are impossible,” he laughed. His laugh trailed off into a slow groan as I nibbled on his collarbone and palmed the warm, rough hardness of his cock.

“Take off your pants,” I said, and traced the shell of his ear with my tongue.

He obliged at once.

“I’m ready for you,” he said, eyes dark and jaw taut. It made me shiver. Grasping his cock, I hovered over it for a moment, and unceremoniously sat onto it.

“Fuck!” I gasped. It hurt a little; I had to wiggle and stretch to accommodate him. He let out a slow, long groan, which ended in a sharp grunt as I sunk over his entire length and gave a quick bounce.

“Yeah, just like that,” I moaned. His dick was unbelievable. It was so big that it reached all of my deep, sensitive spots at once. Securing my arms around his shoulders, I smiled sweetly, and rode him as roughly and quickly as my hips would give.

Fuck yeah did he feel good.

“OH, God,” he groaned. I panted with each hard bounce on his cock, reveling in the hot tightness building in my abdomen. It was different from fucking Captain Levi. With the Commander, I set the pace. But that didn’t last for very long.

“More,” he growled. With a guttural grunt, he clenched his fingers around my waist, and began fucking me onto his cock.

“Uh, uh, uh, uh—fu-u-uck,” I panted with each thrust, throwing my head back. He was so strong and thick. “Yeah, right there, uh, oh yes, FUCK ME LIKE THAT, I’M—FUCKING—COMING—OH!”

“Oh, shit,” he groaned, as I shuddered and clenched around his dick. He kept fucking into me, but I was shaking and couldn’t sit up straight. Sensing that I was reaching my limit, he carried me onto the ground and laid me on my side.

“One more,” he promised.

Awesome.

I raised my arm to let him slide a hand around my waist. From behind, he nudged his wet cock into my warm cunt and thrust with unbroken vigor. The unfamiliar angle felt unexpectedly good, and I wanted more, lifting my leg to push his cock deeper. Moaning, I rocked back and forth with his hard, fast thrusts, until my pussy throbbed with glorious wetness. 

“Yeah, one more time,” I panted, fucking back into him, desperate for one last high. “Oh, yeah, that feels so good, fuck, yeah!”

“Oh, yes, oh my God,” he groaned, mouth agape and eyebrows furrowed. “I’m going to come, oh, you’re so tight.”

I’d make it an orgasm he would remember. Grinning, I clenched my pussy.

“FUCK!” He roared, and dug his nails into my waist. “Do it again—oh, yes, just like that!”

Rolling me over so that I was face down against the floor, he began rutting into me. Oh, fuck, so good, he was so impossibly big. I gasped under the weight of his sprawled form, and pushed up onto his leaking cock. I was almost there. The friction of the floor against my clit was sending me up, up, up.

I came so hard that I didn’t make a sound. I could only shake uncontrollably and give the Commander one last, tight clench of my pussy. It was enough to send him into a long, spiraling orgasm. With a loud sigh, he spurted several times inside of me, and pulled out with a heave.

Wow.

“Well done,” said Captain Levi, clapping. He had changed back into his clothes, and was staring at the ceiling. I would have believed he was bored if he hadn’t sported a bulge in his pants.

Heh.

“Let’s speak of this to no one,” said the Commander, as he got dressed. I hung my head and eyed the mess of cum between my legs.

What the fuck just happened?

“Levi, help Mikasa out,” said the Commander. Then, pausing by the doorway, he added: “Next time, we’ll be more discreet.”

Oh. So there will be a next time.

Interesting. I can’t say I’m opposed to the idea…

“Oi. Put your clothes on,” said Captain Levi. “That’s an order.”

“I’m tired. I’ll just sleep here.”

“No. It’s filthy in here.”

“You were fine fucking me here,” I said, “so you should be fine letting me sleep here. I’m tired and I don’t want to move.”

“Brat. …Fine, I’ll help you get dressed. Just this once.”

“Okay.”

As I let the Captain slide my shirt on over my bare shoulders, a small part of my mind was screaming “WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK” at the absurdity of the entire situation. Well, I guess it wasn’t that absurd. People get horny. Especially when their lives are constantly in danger. Both the Commander and the Captain must have been pretty fucking horny tonight.

Not that I’m complaining. I got six orgasms out of it. Just the memory of it is making me wet again. The shorty running his hands all over me is not helping matters either.

Now, where did he put my dildo…?