Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was seven at night, and Richie Tozier was doing what he always did around this time. Getting drunk as fuck and bullshitting on the internet, which, to be honest, is a mildly depressing combination. Unfortunately though, it had been a long ass fucking night, and Richie just wanted to watch his Youtube videos and pretend the world outside his door didn’t exist.

He’d gotten rejected for the new comedy show he’d had his heart set on. An actual, honest to god, passion project. I mean, he was never enormously optimistic, I mean he was an up in coming comedian with a moderate following, which isn’t overly impressive when your looking for comedic actors for a show, but he really felt like he’d given his best possible audition, and he really thought there was a decent chance.

Guess he’d eat those fucking hopes though. Chuck em right into the garbage along with his dreams, and his liver.

So here he was, currently on his fifth beer for the evening, enjoying the buzz that was currently enveloping his brain, when his phone goes off.

“What the fuck is this” he muttered to himself, gazing at the screen sourly. It was a Facebook notification, for whatever fucking reason “I thought I deleted that shit like, a hundred fucking years ago, what the fuck” he kept muttering as he unlocked his phone.

He’d received a new friend request, apparently. He scoffed at it internally as he opened up the icon, and then his eyes went wide.

The name he was seeing, he fucking knew that name… he knew it.

In fact, he didn’t even remember ever forgetting it.

Eddie fucking Kaspbrak.

It’d been god knows how many years… twenty? Considering they’d last seen each other when Eddie was fourteen, it almost had to be. He quickly chugged his current beer and pulled another one out of the box next to his couch. He felt like he was in the middle of a fucking crisis as half-remembered memories started to hit him all in one go.

He remembered running through sewers with a talkative little runt, always wearing shorts with an ugly fucking fanny pack. He remembered Eddie always panicking about the newest and deadliest diseases in the news. He remembered being scared shitless of… god he couldn’t even remember… he just remembered being more scared than he’d ever been in his life. Most importantly though, he remembered being absolutely head over fucking heels for that kid, back when they were both young and dumb, having nothing to lose.

He remembered Eddie... he did... but he didn’t know how he ever forgot Eddie in the first place.

So he naturally accepted the friend request, in a mild state of anticipation and panic. He moved his hands in front of his mouth, doing his best ‘the Thinking Man impression’, his eyes staring intently at the screen from behind his glasses, waiting for Eddie to send him something.

Not ten minutes later and he’d received a message. He opened it quickly, internally giggling to himself as he read the first message from Eddie.

Holy shit, Trashmouth… How did it take me this long to look you up???

Richie was smiling like a big fucking idiot as he stared at the old nickname. He quickly began to type, now completely ignoring the videos playing in the background.

Ed’s… I swear to God, I don’t think I even remembered you until I saw your notification, and then it's like it all just came rushing back… holy shit, how have you been buddy???

Richie’s patience quickly wore thin as he decided to research (and totally NOT stalk) Eddie’s facebook page. It didn’t look like he posted very frequently, but the first thing he saw made his breath hitch.

Fuck… Eddie was married. On top of that too, Eddie had a fucking kid. He could see the pictures of Eddie and his daughter together. One’s of him holding her on his shoulders, others of the two of them holding up pictures she’d drawn. Apparently her name was Becca… Becca Kaspbrak, which was a lovely name; though definitely a lot more casual than any kid name he’d ever have guessed Eddie would pick. She was a bit chubby, kinda like her mom (yes, Richie had effectively stalked her facebook as well), but holy fuck if every other feature didn’t look just like her dad. She had Eddie’s face, Eddie’s eyes, and he could only assume she had Eddie’s crippling anxieties too if she was anything like her dad when he was young, poor kid.

He then received a new notification and quickly drained nearly half of his bottle before clicking to pop up the message.

Well, I’ve been… surviving I guess. I got married, but we’re currently in the final proceedings for our divorce, which, no need to really feel sorry for me about all of that, I was the person who suggested it to her, so I’d say I’m handling it pretty fucking well all things considered. OH, and I have a daughter named Becca, and she’s just absolutely incredible. All things considered, I sometimes wonder if she’s even my kid, she’s so much braver than I ever was back then, and she’s… nothing like her mom.

Richie took each sentence of the message piece by piece. He put the feelings of relief aside from the whole ‘Eddie getting divorced’ reveal; he figured he wasn’t emotionally ready to deal with the feelings that stirred up in him. He COULD, however, focus on the daughter stuff; on Becca.

Divorced, wow yeah, that sucks, dang, wow, what a bummer… but the KID, HOLY SHIT EDDIE I SAW HER, she looks JUST FUCKING LIKE YOU DUDE!!!

He hit send and took another swig, waiting patiently for a response. He quickly got one.

Holy shit Tozier, we’ve been talking… what five minutes, and you’re already stalking my Facebook page??? Oh, and yeah I guess, everyone’s always said she looks like Myra, but… yeah, thanks man… she’s honestly my fucking world Rich, like, I never really WANTED kids, but ever since she’s been around, I just feel like I don’t know what I’d do without her.

Richie giggled quietly to himself. Of course Eddie would be a softie for his kid.

Yeah, that’s what I’ve been told about the whole kid thing, everyone always talks shit until they get one. Like cats, ya know?

He hit send, but then immediately regretted the comparison, because not two seconds later he saw a rapidly moving texting symbol on the message tab (which he could easily visualize how that looked on Eddie’s end), until he was greeted with Eddie’s response.

Did you just compare my kid to a fucking cat, dickwad???

Richie had to laugh, Eddie literally texted just like he talked.

Not on purpose, more like a figure of speech, ya know?

Eddie was still caught on the whole ‘cat’ thing because it didn’t drop.

How the fuck is my kid like a fucking cat, and how the fuck is ‘talks shit until you get one’ even mildly comparable, no one holds you at gunpoint and forces you to own a cat, genius.

Richie burst out laughing, quickly typing a new response.

Hey, I’ll have you know, while I have NOT been held a gunpoint to own my own cat, Cinnabon was a responsibility that I never really wanted but was basically sprung onto me, so YES, cats CAN just come into your life completely on accident, you lanky dick… plus, who the fuck held YOU and MYRA at gunpoint and forced you to breed???

He waited a few minutes until he realized the responses weren’t immediate anymore. He sighed and threw his phone on the couch next to him, desperately trying to keep watching the videos he’d been playing before all this Eddie shit came up. It was a losing effort though, considering he was no longer invested in anything happening on the screen in front of him.

Somehow, Eddie had been in contact with him less than an hour, and he’d already managed to recapture Richie’s full attention.

Just as that thought crossed through his head though, a bing came in on his phone. He practically tossed his laptop off of himself to grab it, and as soon as the opened up the app and pulled up messages, he was frozen by the response.

First off, never say the words ‘Myra’ and ‘Breed’ in the same sentence ever again, and second… Cinnabon??? That’s the stupidest fucking name I’ve ever goddamn heard… Oh also, I’m sending you my number Trashmouth, call me when you can, it's kind of important.

Richie nearly shit. He lost his fucking mind, standing up in a mild panic as he recieved the third text that included Ed’s number. He stared at it for a solid ten minutes before he got the nerve to click the link, and then it took a solid five more minutes to actually hit call.

In Richie’s mind, he figured there was nothing cowardly about taking ten, twenty or even sixty minutes to prepare your introductory monologue for your childhood crush who you haven’t spoken to in years. Right when that thought crossed his mind though, he realized he sounded JUST like Eddie, and he proceeded to wince at his own brain.

Since when had he become such a pussy?

The phone rang a couple of times, and then suddenly, he heard Eddie’s voice for the first time in fucking years.

“Hello, Eddie Kaspbrak speaking” he stated professionally, and Richie felt his breath hitch.

“Ed’s?”

He heard Eddie whisper ‘holy shit’ accompanied by a loud noise that sounded suspiciously like Eddie dropping his phone before he ever even responded.

“Fuck, Rich its so good to hear your voice again man…” Eddie whispered softly, laughing as he said it. Richie felt a large smile developing on his own face.

“Yeah, holy fuck Eddie, I just... can’t fucking believe its been so long, I mean, fuck… it’s just so good to hear from you dude”.

“Yeah, I know! So, wait, look… before I get into brass tax, I haven’t even asked, what the fuck is up with YOU Richie, we’ve been so busy talking about my depressing ass life, I haven’t even asked what's been going on in yours” he said quickly, talking with a little less speed than he did as a kid, but Richie figured that was less about ability and more about learning to slow down his speech with age.

“It’s going, man… Ya know, I’m really rocking the depressing, alcoholic thirty six year old vibe, right” he laughed at himself in a self deprecating manor before continuing “Uh, kidding… kind of, uh, I’m a comedian now, nothing too big, but I’m out in LA, ya know, and I had a few shows I’d been auditioning for, but my standup has been more successful than any of my TV pursuits”.

The phone got silent, and he quickly panicked that maybe Eddie had hung up, or maybe they’d been disconnected.

“Uh, Eddi-” he started, but was quickly cut off by Eddie’s tone.

“Hold on dipshit, I’m googling you” he said quickly, and Richie felt himself break out into a cold sweat, once again laughing to try and ease the tension.

“Aww, Ed’s that’s sweet of you to stalk me back, and here I didn’t know you cared, you really don’t have to do that though, it’s really not that-”

“HOLY SHIT RICHIE, ARE YOU FUCKING FAMOUS” he shouted at him, and Richie winced once again.

“Um, I think famous is the wrong word, uhh, I like the more tasteful term of ‘somewhat viral’” he muttered to himself, holding his forehead in his unoccupied hand. To be honest, Eddie was definitely overreacting, but a lot of Richie’s stand up had made it online, and while he wasn’t really TV famous, he had a pretty average following online. The joys of the internet right?

“Viral? What like an infection” Eddie joked lightly, trying to help ease Richie’s tension now too. Richie just grinned dumbly and lifted his head from his hand, resting it on his palm.

“To be honest, most of my material is pretty cancerous, considering half of the material I write gets replaced by committees, so you wouldn’t be far off… I just got lucky, ya know, and honestly everytime I try to break into the TV scene, I fall flat on my face, so things could be a lot better” he muttered to himself, his small smile now falling into a more neutral expression.

“Yeah, no I could have told you that you don’t write your own material… I’m listening to this shit right now and it sounds absolutely nothing like you, I mean, you haven’t even mentioned my mother once” Eddie yelled at him, and Richie suddenly burst out laughing.

“Holy fuck, you’re right, but not Eddie, I would never bring you’re mothers name onto the stage, what we have is special, and I’d never sully the high quality levels of our sex with dumb dick jokes” he was cracking up as he said it, and he heard Eddie quietly laughing on the other end before they fell into an easy silence.

“Shit Richie, I forgot how much I missed this man” Eddie whispered, and Richie just let out a quick “yeah” in agreement.

“Uh, I called because I wondered if you’d help me with a favor” Eddie asked him quietly, and Richie’s eyes widened slightly as he leaned forward.

“Yeah, anything man, just name it” he said, and he heard Eddie let out a shaky exhale before he continued.

“Look, I mentioned me and Myra were getting a divorce, and she used to have custody over Bec, but I wound up getting custody and… it’s really recent, but… a lot happened man. I couldn’t even see how controlling and manipulative she was until it was too late, and she… she fucked with Becca” he said softly “I mentioned Becca was different from me and her mom, she’s braver, and I honestly meant that. Becca’s been handling everything like a champ but she’s twelve man, and I feel like being in New York, specifically so close to her mom after everything that happened… my point is, I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind housing us for a couple of weeks? Just until I can find a new job and a place for us to stay in LA” Eddie asked him, and Richie felt his heart beat out of his chest. What the fuck could have happened to make Eddie resort to Richie like this.

“Shit uh… of course Eddie, of course I don’t mind, yeah uh, how soon did you want to be here” he asked, feeling like he was talking way to quietly, but he was having a hard time finding the strength to speak louder.

“As soon as possible… within the next two days if that’s ok with you” Eddie said, almost fearfully, and Richie quickly jumped back in to reassure him.

“No, no, yeah, fuck yeah… you could get here in the next ten minutes and I’d have no issue Eddie, just um… just call me when you’re both on a a flight over and I’ll try and get the guest bedroom ready, uh… I only have two rooms but you can sleep in my room and she can have the guest room, I can sleep on the couch or-”

“Fuck you dickwad, I’m not gonna steal you’re fucking bed. Nah, I’ll take the couch, we’ll work something out but… Richie, I want you to know how much this means to me, I didn’t expect you to say yes honestly” he whispered, and Richie hated that they’d ever fallen out of touch so badly that Eddie doubted their friendship like this.

“Of course I’d say yes Eddie Spaghetti, what the fuck did you think, I’m gonna throw you to the wolves? LA is a dangerous city, and you’re a sensitive boy Ed’s” he teased him softly, quoting Eddie’s mom as he heard Eddie let out a weak laugh.

“Fuck you dickhead, I’ll be there in two days with Becca… and Rich?”

“Yeah Ed’s…”

“Thank you…” Eddie whispered softly. No jokes, no cynicism, just… just a thank you.

“Of course Eddie, get here when you can” he said softly before hanging up the phone and proceed to throw it on the carpet and slam his head into the wall. Two days. He was about to see Eddie again for the first time in twenty years in two fucking days and… and holy shit, he was gonna meet Eddie’s kid.

He quickly looked up to glance at his apartment. It was relatively small, but he liked it well enough. It was cozy at the least, and he did have the second bedroom. He realized with a start though that the place was a fucking mess. He had old, empty food boxes littered around the counters, beer bottles just lounging, and that’s when he realized.

He watched Cinnabon wander out from the hallway, looking at him expectantly, and it was like the punchline of a fucking joke that he was staring at him as Richie came to his realization.

Holy shit, he needed to fucking childproof this place.

Chapter Text

    “Hey guys” Richie said into the microphone, the crowd applauding at his arrival on the stage “christ, I mean I love the enthusiasm, but I promise, when I start talking, you are all going to regret giving it to me”.  He got a few chuckles from that one, and he smirked at the floor as he pulled the mic closer to himself, his other hand resting firmly in his jacket pocket.  

    “So, you know, the other day I was out seeing the newest Darkened Mourge ‘horror extravaganza’” he made sure to finger quote for that shit “and I swear to god I nearly fucking shit...” the audience started giggling lightly, and he waited a moment for them to simmer down before he continued “has anybody in the crowd seen that shit yet?”

He got a few hands raised, and gave some polite smiles to the ones he could catch.  One guy screamed “FUCK YEAH” at the top of his lungs, and Richie laughed mildly and gave a quiet “christ I wish I had you’re enthusiasm” to the dude who yelled, getting a few more laughs out of the audience.

“Well, I fucking went bitch, and let me tell you… I goddamn hated it! Like I can’t do horror like that, but my girlfriend fucking insisted because she likes the feeling of intimate torture on a Friday night, I guess” a few more laughs, he almost dropped his fake smile, because he really fucking hated doing the girlfriend bits.

“So, we went, and, well... look, don’t tell the police on me ok, because I wouldn’t make it a minute in jail, let alone a day, but… let's just say, for legal purposes… I ate a really special brownie” everyone cracked up at that one, and Richie felt himself rolling his eyes internally “yeah you sluts, laugh at my weed joke, dirty fuckin’ sinners” he sneered, pulling the microphone off of the stand and walking around the stage.

“So anyway, the special brownie gave me this massive ‘sugar rush’, who would think right? So I was just being pulled into the movie, ya know, the same way people get sucked into the Matrix and they begin to think its real life…” light laughter came, but he honestly didn’t expect a big reaction to that one.

“And I’m sitting there, and she’s holding my leg, and I’m so on cloud nine and sucked into this cinematic experience, that I barely even notice, I’m actually eighty percent sure I had a mild stroke” a couple more laughs, “but I also read somewhere that weed- oh shit, sorry, ‘magic plant cakes’ can’t actually do that to you, so, ya know, I guess it was just God punishing me for my sins” that’s probably the closest he’d come to a real joke all night… the crowd loved it though.

“So, if you HAVE seen the movie, and I won’t spoil it, but fuck you, I’m gonna kind of spoil it, all of you would remember a really creepy balloon scene right” the same guys who’d seen the movie and raised their hands earlier once again raised their hands and whooped a few times, charming... “yeah, so I was there, ya know, in the Matrix, when some… motherfucker, snuck a goddamn actual fucking balloon into the theatre, and fucking waited for THAT scene to start, and I shit you not, as soon as the scene hit, they fuckin’ left lane swerved the goddamn balloon across the front asile to look like its floating, and my girlfriend fucking shrieks next to me, but not even kidding, I was so fucked up on ‘insert the previous weed joke here’, I straight fucking… didn’t react, and like, if I were sober, I probably would have panicked, ya know maybe fought the little old lady that works at the theatre on my way out to flee certain death, by the way, HI JANICE” he shouted to the fake old woman who most definitely did NOT work at the theatre.  He waited patiently for the crowd to calm back down before finishing.

“But nah, I was so sucked into the void that I straight up just stared, and when I did finally notice that bullshit in the front row, oh, and a big fuck you to the bitches up in the front row who pulled that shit by way” he flipped off the crowd mindlessly “you freaks know who you are, but I seriously didn’t react for ten.. fucking.. seconds, and when I finally did, my girlfriend was shaking me, like pestering me on whether I saw it, and that, ironically enough, was when I finally saw it and my honest to god reaction was literally just ‘oh… oh shit’” the crowd was loving it, and Richie gave them a smile, fake as all hell, because none of this had ever actually happened, and Richie would literally rather be dead than go to a horror movie after… well he can’t even remember his reasoning.  He just knew he couldn’t do it. That it would trigger his fight or flight instincts.  

He gave a small laugh to the audience, thanking them, just as he always did before continuing on.  He finished his show in record time, and after thanking his audience and exiting the stage, his assistant sprinted up to him with a glass of bourbon in hand.

“Fantastic work Rich, great job handling the new material,” he said with a smile, and Richie just shook his head in irritation as he marched on.

“Yeah, yeah, great, glad everyone loved it, such a hoot and a holler to perform… say, did those producers call back yet by any chance” Richie asked mindlessly as the assistant handed him back his phone.

“Oh uh… no they haven’t, but shit Rich, I’m sure you nailed it, I’d quit worrying so much.  Even if you don’t get the call, there’s plenty of other opportunities right” he said, and Richie just sighed and nodded in agreement “thata boy, come on let's get you ready for your flight to New York tonight”.

“Oh shit, Mac, I’m sorry man, but we’re gonna have to cancel that” he stated, pushing past the smaller man and making his way to the exit.  Mac looked like he was on the verge of panic.

“Wait, what? But… Rich you can’t, you’ve had these interviews booked for weeks, they’re going to be expecting you tomorrow”.

“Well, tell em not to expect me, I had an emergency come up, and I need the next few days off minimum.  I can still do shows nearby, but I cannot go across the fucking country right now” Richie stated, taking a sip of his bourbon as he watched as Mac gulped in nervous agreement.

“Uh… Y-Yes sir, of course, absolutely but… have you already talked to Mrs. Polens-” Richie held up a hand to cut him off “you just let me handle Regina, I’ve got it, thanks though Mac, go enjoy your Friday night, ok” Richie said with an actual, genuine smile and Mac finally seemed to relax and nod at him.

“Yeah uh… ok” he muttered “thanks Rich”.

“Yeah, ok, just go, have fun… actually enjoy your life for once” he said, watching Mac walk off with a mild mannered wave.  As soon as Mac was out of sight however, he muttered a slight “fuck” to himself as he pulled out his phone to dial his managers number.  As per usual, she answered on the third ring.

“The fuck do you want calling me right now Tozier, I’m out having a medium rare steak with my husband” she growled on the phone, and Richie just sneered at her response.

“Regina, I can’t do New York this week, pick a different time” he said to her firmly, and he heard her minor exhale of breath, which knowing her might as well have been a scream “the fuck do you mean you’re not doing New York, you’ve been scheduled for New York for months in advance Tozier, someone better have fucking died-”

“Look, I won’t go in depth… it isn’t a death, but a close friend of mine is having a family emergency going on currently and he needs to stay with me, so I need to be in town for when he gets here” Richie said briskly, giving polite smiles to the crew members who were looking at him oddly as they passed by.  His smile fell off his face though when Regina laughed at his answer.

“Close friend? Look at you Tozier! And here I thought you just sat at home and got drunk all day! I didn’t know it was possible for you to even have friends, let alone close ones… how long is this going to take anyway” she asked him, waiting patiently for an answer.

“A week, maybe two.  He just needs some time to get back on his feet and get used to LA, that’s all I’m asking Regina… look, I never ask for time… just... please do me this solid” Richie nearly whispers, and he listens to the silence on the phone for a solid minute before Regina finally exhales and answers.

“Fine, but its gonna be a long fucking waiting list to get you back on the Kimmell interview… just… fuck off, and thank your fucking lucky stars you’re not on tour, otherwise I’d have broken your fucking legs” she growled at him, and Richie closed his eyes in relief as he began to try to thank her.

“Don’t thank me, and fuck off” she said before hanging up the phone.  Richie let the phone fall from his head as he began to walk towards the exit, walking down the steps and unlocking his car.  His phone pinged and he looked down at the notification. It was from Eddie.

What’s up asshole, we’re getting on the flight now, we should be there tomorrow morning as long as nothing gets delayed or the plane doesn’t crash, though knowing my luck it’ll be one of the two.

Richie grins at the message before typing back.

Well shit, don’t jinx it, you gotta knock on wood now or else that shits gonna come to pass, don’t you know the basic rules of luck?

It was a solid couple of seconds before the next response, and Richie laughed at his phone as he watched the message symbol type, just imaging Eddie frantically typing his slapback into his phone.

Well fuck you, I actually went to knock but theres no wood in this fucking airport, so I want you to know that if I die, it is all your fault and I will haunt you until death.

Richie thought about, and that honestly didn’t sound like the worst of fates.  Though THAT’S a gay thought he’ll take to his grave, no doubt about that. He instead replied as tastefully as he could.  With a ‘Your Mom’ joke.

You might wanna rethink that shit Eddie Spaghetti, when I’m in the process of making sweet love to your mother, you’re gonna regret that little threat of yours ;) .

He was honestly proud of just how straight that response sounded.  It belonged in a goddamn museum of ford automobiles because that's how straight that shit came out.  He at least was proud until Eddie hit him with the nuke.

Well my moms dead asshole, so you’d be fucking a dead person, so jokes on you.

Richie felt his heart stop and he felt like he was about to have a panic attack as he quickly responded.

Holy fuck Ed’s, I didn’t even think, I am so sorry, you had to know I was joking right?

He felt too hot all of a sudden and ripped his jacket off, resting his forehead in defeat on the top of his steering wheel.  He literally could not have said anything more inconsiderate, beep beep Richie, so fucking stup-.

Bing.

He pulled his head up and nearly felt his heart jump out of his chest.  He wanted to do the irresponsible thing and just ignore his phone until an early grave, but he knew he needed to look.  He exhaled slowly and picked his phone up to read the response.

Nah, I was joking too… kind of, she actually is dead but… ya know, we all kind of knew it was coming, right? I mean she was pretty overweight and riddled with anxiety, a heart attack was just around the corner.

Another second later and his phone went off again.

Shit, I’m sorry if I freaked you out, wasn’t my intention, just kinda came out.

Richie breathed in mild relief as he responded.

Nah, its ok, I should be the one apologizing, and goddamn Ed’s is that how she passed?

Richie didn’t have to wait long before the next response came.

Nah, Ironically enough it was liver cancer of all things, can you fucking believe?  She didn’t even drink because she was so anxious about the damage that alcohol causes to the liver.  You should have seen her when she caught me drinking beers in my room at eighteen Rich, she nearly ripped my head off.

Richie smirked down at his phone as he imagined a freshly adult Eddie sneaking beers into his room.  To be honest, he was having a hard time picturing it because Eddie has always been the least rebellious human being he knew.

You actually snuck fucking beers into your room living with your mom??? You’re a braver man than me Eddie, I’d be too scared she’d sit on me as punishment.

Everything went back into a normal flow after that.  Richie put his phone down long enough to drive home and Eddie had to quit texting once he got on his flight.  Once Richie got home, he looked around the apartment one last time to ensure everything was clean and in place.  

He’d made sure to hide all his alcohol in his room, wanting to keep that as far away from Eddie’s kid as he could.  All the trash had been thrown out in a panic literally the night Eddie called, and he’d even gone out of his way to buy snacks for Eddie’s k-... for Becca.

He didn’t even really know what kids liked, I mean he was pretty lenient with food when he was a kid, but this was EDDIE’S kid they were talking about, he was horrified he’d cook the food a millimeter below the right temperature and get a lecture on the dangers of undercooking…

Though he didn’t really cook anyway so that was less of a concern.

Once he was sure the house would meet Eddie’s expectations, he laid down on his couch and opened up his laptop.  His new bit had been posted online, and he rolled his eyes at the views underneath. At least everyone was enjoying it.  He quietly tried to ignore seeing his name popping up and threw in a DVD. He’d been burning his way through season one of the Sopranos, and mindlessly watching the show when his brain slowly hazed out.  It’d been late as fuck when he’d first started watching it, so he didn’t even think about the possibility for accidently falling asleep.  

He slipped from the black into a weird collection of old memories.  Running around a small town on bikes with this kid next to him. Watching him from a distance.  Nearly panicking when a massive fucking clown is about to fucking ACTUALLY EAT HIM. In the dream though, the fucking clown turns away from Eddie and begins to walk towards him.

“All these years, all this time, and you’re still nothing but the BIG BIG BABY that you were when you left” it taunted, walking ever closer as Eddie backed himself up against a wall “You didn’t want me to tell em back then, did ya Rich? What about now…” It growled, opening its mouth to reveal the layers and layers of sharp, aggressive teeth.  Richie felt paralyzed by the thing in front of him. He didn’t even remember if this was real, he just remembered the fear when-

Bvvvvvvth, Bvvvvvvth.

He jolted awake as his phone vibrated next to him, and he accidently pushed his laptop (again) onto the floor in his haste to grab the device.

“Fuck… uh, hello” Richie whispered, still trying to calm his aggressively beating heart.

“Hey dipshit, I’m at the door, could you let me in?”

For any jokes that Richie had ever made about shitting his pants during horror movies, or on dates… nothing could have compared to this.

Chapter Text

Richie opened the door in a mild panic, but just a mild one.  He looked disheveled as hell, he already knew, but seeing Eddie at the door temporarily knocked any of those thoughts out of his head.  Despite Ed’s being older and taller, and despite the time that went by, Eddie honestly still looked the same. I mean, obviously he wasn’t a kid anymore.  He was a thirty year old man, so he didn’t look EXACTLY the same but… he was still Eddie.

And then he looked at Becca, who was standing next to Eddie playing on a Nintendo DS, not even looking up at him.  Her hair was straight like her mom’s, but the same color as Eddie’s, a band in it to keep her bangs back, along with a thick girly-show jacket, jeans, and a ‘don’t talk to me, I’m a bad bitch twelve year old’’ attitude.  He could respect that.

Then he looked back up at Eddie, who was just staring at him intently.

“Richie” Eddie said softly, and Richie didn’t even think, he just stepped forward and pulled Eddie into a hug.  He closed his eyes and he buried his head in Eddie’s shoulder, and after a moment of shocked reaction, Eddie finally moved his arms to wrap around Eddie’s waist, pulling him into a tighter hug.

“Eddie” he whispered back, smiling into Eddie’s shoulder as they hugged.  He heard someone clear their throat before turning his head to look at Becca, who was staring up at them from her game.

“Yeah, hi, if you guys are done, I really need to plug my Nintendo DS into an outlet, I’m currently beating the shit out of these Pokemon in Mystery Dungeon, and I swear to god if I lose my place I’m going to scream-”

“BECCA” Eddie yelled, sounding exasperated as he slowly pulled back from Richie’s arms “Come on, what did we talk about, no swearing, please…”..

“What, you do it all the time, you said way worse shit on the phone with mom last night” she muttered, a bit of her bravado dying at the mention of her mom.  Eddie didn’t even look like he knew what to say, he just shook his head and rubbed his forehead with his hand.

“Uh I mean, fair point, but please Bec, just… no swearing in front of strangers we’ve just met, yeah” he asked her softly, now scratching his head with his other hand on his side.  Becca just shrugged and nodded.

“Yeah, ok… sorry weird old guy with glasses that I don’t know, I didn’t mean to be rude, I just take my game very seriously,” she said with a nod, holding out a hand to shake Richie’s.

“I’m Becca, sorry if I was being a bit- I mean, rude, sorry I don’t swear” she said sweetly, a phoney ‘nice’ smile growing on her face, and Richie nearly died laughing at her attempt to be polite.

“No uhhh, the pleasure is all mine Becca” Richie stated, shaking her hand “It’s great to meet you, ya know your dad and I used to be like best friends back when we were kids, and you honestly look just like him,” Richie said to her, and she just smiled politely.

“Great, so I look like I’m about to have a nervous breakdown, just the look I was craving” she said dryly, talking just as fast as her dad always used to, which was a wild thing to realize.  She walked right past him and into the house after that, and Richie just looked back up at Eddie in shock as Eddie stood their just shaking his head and mouthing a ‘i’m so sorry’ to Richie, but Richie wasn’t even offended, he was just boggled.  

“Holy shit, you’re like your dad if he wasn’t a massively uptight di- uh, oh shit- I mean crap, uh I meant a mean person” he shouted after her and she turned her head and actually genuinely laughed at that “yeah, dad thinks I’m adopted” she said with a lopsided grin, and she walked to the kitchen to plug her DS into the counter outlet, moving to sit on the bar seat, all the while Richie was turning back to Eddie at the doorway and grinning like a crazy person.

“Holy shit, you’re kid is you if you weren’t a giant fucking germaphobic doormat” he whispered quietly, trying to ensure that Becca didn’t hear him swear, and Eddie just rolled his eyes pushing past Richie.

“Yeah, yeah, ok… move over Trashmouth, I don’t wanna stand in your lawn all night” Eddie grumbled, all the while Richie felt like he was about to have an asthma attack at how bad he wanted to keep laughing.

“I mean, she’s you as a badass” Richie said, a little louder this time and Becca turned to look at them with a wide grin.

“Dad, he said bad ass, does that mean I get to say it now” she shouted, and Eddie gave Rich a giant death glare as he muttered “no honey, please, I told you, you can say the S word, the D word and the B word when you turn thirteen, no earlier, please”.

“What about the F word, when do I unlock that one” she said with a smirk, and Eddie looked like he aged five years at that question.  

“When I’m dead please” Eddie said in a defeated tone, and she giggled at him as she turned back to her game, putting her headphones back in her ears.

“Sorry about her, it's like as soon as she learned what swearing was she started turning into a complete nightmare” Eddie said, throwing himself onto Richie’s couch as Richie followed after him, sitting in the loveseat nearby.

“Nah I mean, realistically this just makes sense, I mean do you remember the kinda shit we used to say to each other when we were kids” Richie said with a laugh, and Eddie smiled a bit at that, looking up at the ceiling and lying down on the couch.

“Yeah, but we didn’t say that shit in front of- wait, does she have her headphones in still” Eddie asked, his tone going from regular speech to whisper mode in a manner of seconds.  Richie side-eyed where Becca was sitting, and yes her headphones were still in. She didn’t even seem to react to what they were saying.

“Yeah, the coast is clear, please continue cursing in my home of Christ” he said with a laugh, and Eddie let near cough at how loud he cracked up at that “if this is a home of Christ, I’d hate to see what the churches look like these days”.

“Hey, my home is not that bad, and I’ll have you know, I did some intense soccer mom level cleaning before you two ever even arrived- oh, sorry about all this by the way” he gestured to his old X-Men t-shirt and pajama bottoms “I fell asleep on the couch late last night, and I literally woke up to your phone call”.

“Wow Richie, waking up at twelve fucking forty five, very adult of you” Eddie nodded in thought, still staring at the ceiling as Richie got up and shoved his legs over, sitting down at the spot Eddies feet once occupied.

“Hey, fuck you dude, the apartment turned out great at least” he stated, gestruing with a nod to the house.

“I mean, it’s certainly better than I expected, very alcoholic minimalist here, gotta admire the aesthetic at least” Richie grinned at that one and nodded.

“I mean, there are much worse aesthetics I could have gone for.  I could have aimed for the ‘crackhead sheek’ look if you really wanted, I can throw some broken needles around and-” he watched Eddie tense up and he quickly shut up “hey, shit sorry, a joke in bad taste, I know you hate that shit… I can-”.

“Nah Rich, sorry it just... reminded me of a bad memory. I’m fine I promise” Eddie said with a reassuring smile, though it seemed a bit more strained than it was before.  Richie slowly stood up and scooted Eddie’s legs a little bit more of the way a bit, sitting down fully on the couch next to him as he stared out to the patio deck that was in front of the couch.

“Shit, sorry if I’m just building on your bad memory but… can we talk about this a bit, I mean… I really don’t know how I forgot you, and I keep having these half remembered dreams of us, and this… this…” he couldn’t find the words, so Eddie found it for him, staring off with absent eyes at the wall “that clown right, that’s what you were gonna say”.

Richie looked at him as his heart fluttered fearfully and nodded.  Eddie finally looked at him, his eyes a lot more tired than they were previously.

“Yeah, I had those nightmares too… and it’s like I couldn’t remember them fully, they would just appear and then dissipate before I could grasp what they were, but what you’re talking about, they’ve been worse ever since…” Eddie trailed off, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Ever since what” Richie asked, and Eddie looked at him and whispered “Ever since I remembered you”.

Richie didn’t know how to process those words… Was it somehow his fault? Did he trigger bad memories or something for Eddie, he didn’t-.

“Wow... hey, Rich, I know that look because that is my look, ok, I’m the panicker in this duo, come on, it isn’t you, this isn’t on you” he told him calmly, sitting up and putting a hand on Richie’s left arm, the one currently draped in his own lap.

“Yeah, uh… ok, sorry I didn’t mean to go all Terminator on you”  he said with a nervous chuckle, and Eddie just gave him a reassuring grin.

“Nah, come on Tozier, you’re way too irritating to ever be scary, give me a fucking break.  The only thing scary about you is just how trash your fucking jokes are” he said with a smirk, and Richie gasped jokingly at Eddie, playing along at pretending to be heartbroken.

“Eddie, how could you, I am a famous comedian, my jokes are nothing if not high quality ART ” he said with a grin, and Eddie grinned back.

“Nah, I saw your newest routine on the flight over last night, and wow holy shit, no offense but thirty year old stoner is not your comedic vibe” Eddie said with a smirk, “by the way, congrats, I heard in that set that you have a girlfriend? I’m happy for you Rich” Eddie wasn’t being sarcastic anymore.  He sounded a little funny, but it definitely wasn’t sarcasm.

“What girlfri- oh… the set… girlfriend, right” Richie said quietly to himself, leaning forward and lacing his hands together before quickly readjusting his glasses.  Eddie caught him doing it, remembering briefly about his nervous tick.

“Hey uh, if you don’t want to talk about it, it’s ok, I just… I heard it in the set but… oh shit, now thinking about it, you said the write your material” Eddie said to Richie, and Richie just nodded abesnt-midedly, and suddenly Eddie looked furious “wait, did they make you lie about having a girlfriend? Why would they do that, you’re an attractive guy come on, do they really think you need a fake girlfriend to tell the joke” he demanded, finally making eye contact as Richie’s eyes widened at Eddie’s sudden agitation.

“Oh uh, Ed’s, I mean… it's not like that, it's a lot more complicated than that.  To answer you simply though, no I don’t have a girlfriend, yes, it was basically just the set, but please… you guys just got here, I can go more in depth with you later but for now, maybe we can just… I don’t know, relax and play Street Fighter or something?”

Eddie looked hard at Richie for a moment, before his face softened and he nodded, looking over towards the deck to glance outside.

“Yeah sure… fuck, sorry Rich, I didn’t mean to be a dick about it, I just… that’s really fucked up that they make you lie about your life, it’s bad enough they don’t let you tell your own jokes” Eddie stated to him firmly, looking back at him as he finished talking “but yeah, you’re right, I didn’t mean to get upset or something, I’m not angry or anything I just think that’s fucked up, ya know… I mean, sure you’re a complete Trashmouth but I gaurantee your jokes are a step above the basic ass stoner jokes that they feed you”.

Fuck.

Richie stared at him and realized that crush was still fucking there.  That crush from god knows how long ago. Of fucking course it was.

He decided to do what he does best.  Ignore it.

“Yeah well, maybe one day I’ll get my chance, ya know.  A lot of people don’t make it to where I have, so I have to try and make the best of it” he said, finally breaking eye contact to get up and turn on his xbox.  He grabbed the controllers, one black and one blue respectively, handing Eddie the blue one since he knew he’d prefer the color.

“Let’s just forget about it though Eddie, you look like you need to relax anyway, shit life must have run you through the garbage disposal huh” Richie said with a slight laugh, though he was actually hoping for a serious answer to calm his somewhat panicked concerns about Eddie’s wellbeing.

“Well, I don’t know, it isn’t all bad” Eddie said with a smile, turning back to look at Becca who was… shit she was gone from the counter.

“What are you two elderly people playing” she asked, staring at the screen with her freshly charged DS in hand.  Shit how long had they been sitting their talking?

“Street Fighter III, you nosy little turd, come on, this is an adult game, put the headphones back in and go back to your My Little Pony game” Richie told her, and her eyes narrowed with exasperation the same way Eddie’s used to when they were young.

“First off, that’s sexist, I am playing Pokemon, you old ass piece of shit-”

“BECCA, COME ON” Eddie gave her the same look of exasperation and Richie started giggling in his seat at them.

“Sorry daddy, just old and piece then, but secondly, your playing Street Fighter? Yeah, I’ve played it before, it's that fighting game where you punch people’s heads off, right” Becca asked, raising an eyebrow at him as Richie turned around to glare at her.

“How the fuc- SHIT, di- oh my god I can’t do this, how do you know what Street Fighter is, aren’t you five” he yelled at her, and she grinned.

“I play everything, me and my friends used to play GTA and stuff back in… well, ya know, back in New York,” she said with a smaller grin, her eyes losing some of their light when she mentioned her home “I know any game when I see it, give me some credit you old sexist”.

She then proceeded to walk into the hallway and enter the bathroom, to which Eddie let out an exhale and a quick “well at least she found a way to insult you without swearing”.

“She might has well have swore, besmirching my good name by calling me a sexist, it's not my fault I figured she was playing my little pony, she’s wearing a goddamn my little pony jacket for Christs sake.

“That’s actually Care Bears Rich” Eddie said, holding a hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing again.

“What? I mean… shit, same difference right? They all have magic tattoos and they all look creepy as shit” Richie defended before Eddie gave him an exasperated look and his natural talking speed once again reamerged “the fuck are you talking about Rich, their fuckin’ bears and horses, their two very different fucking animals, and the bears are goddamn bipedal” he whisper shouted.

“Bipeedal?”

“Fuck, no bipedal moron, it means they walk on two legs” Eddie shook his head, turning to chose a character in the game, and Richie just shook his head, glancing at the TV with him.

“I don’t know, they just look like the same fucking show to me man, and shit I meant to ask, she looked… really different when she mentioned New York, and I know you said it had something to do with her mom” Richie said softly, and Eddie immediately tensed up, clicking to start the game and sending them into a loading screen.

“I mean, I don’t want to pry, I was just wondering if there was a cliff notes version of what happened that wasn’t ‘Myra fucked with her-’”

“She threatened to kill herself” Eddie stated quietly while glancing off to the side to ensure that Becca wasn’t there “Bec would call me a lot to check in, Myra had custody but she’d visit me every other weekend.  Eventually though, after a month of the process Myra started to crack a bit. She was convinced I cheated on her, which I didn’t obviously, but I had my own shit going on in my head and she was so sure”.

Eddie was just rapidly pressing buttons, and normally Richie knew this game a lot better, but since he was only half playing, he and Eddie were actually pretty evenly matched.

“She started to lose it a bit, told Becca that she shouldn’t want to be around me, and eventually, Myra started threatening to cut visitation if I didn’t tell her the truth.  I eventually did tell her the truth as to why I wanted a divorce, but she didn’t believe it, and it was definitely not that I’d been cheating on her, but that just made her worse.  She was scaring Becca, holding her hostage in her room and yelling at me on the phone as she threatened to take Bec away from me, and after Becca snuck over one night in the midst of a panic attack I was just… done.  I contacted a lawyer, I wanted either joint or full custody since her mom was using her as a tool in the middle of our fights, and driving our daughter to the brink of sanity”.

Another punch and a kick happened on screen, but Richie was now losing, because he was not even paying attention to the game anymore.

“The last night Becca stayed with her mom was when the letter came in from the lawyer, and… she fucking lost it dude, except rather than take it out on me, she took it out on Becca.  Accusing Bec of not loving her, telling Becca that she was going to kill herself BECAUSE Becca didn’t love her, and when she threatened to actually do that, Becca snuck a 9-1-1 call to the police.  She hid the phone behind her back because she was scared that if her mom saw her calling, she’d actually do it”.

Richie wasn’t even looking at the screen anymore as Eddie continued staring forward, his character beating the living shit out of Richie’s character.  Richie didn’t even care.

“You know what the worst shit is though, is that I know Myra… she wouldn’t have done it.  She’s just a manipulative person, and she thought that by threatening to kill herself in front of Becca, she’d get Becca to fold” Richie’s character was now dead, completely desecrated by Eddie, who dropped the controller and looked at Richie, tears forming slightly in his eyes.

“She didn’t know that though, she’s just a twelve year old kid… while she’s smart, and she does know what her mom is like to an extent, and I’m sure she had her doubts, the thought that her mom was going to kill herself because of HER and… and she refused to seek help.  They kept her on suicide watch for the night and the next day, she was back to acting like the perfect mother, but Becca was too scared to be near her at that point, scared she was gonna guilt trip her and make her feel like shit for just existing… she… she wouldn’t even tell me what the worst thing Myra said was, I still don’t know.  She started to tell me and said then she couldn’t, and started crying, and I didn’t- I don’t…” Eddie felt himself crumpling in on himself and Richie just reacted. He pulled Eddie into a tight hug, and Eddie just crashed into Richie. Falling weightless as tears began to fall from his eyes.

“Shit Eddie…” he whispered, not really knowing what else to say as he held Eddie there, stroking Eddie’s arm with his hand in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture “shit its ok, come on… it’ll be ok Ed’s”.

Eddie just balled into Richie’s shirt, and Richie goddamn let him.  It would take a stronger force than God to get him to move from Eddie’s side right now.  He looked behind them to make sure Becca wasn’t in the room, which thank god she wasn’t. While he didn’t want Eddie to hide what he was feeling, he was nervous that Becca seeing her dad like this would send her into a mild breakdown.

“Hey Ed’s, come on, hey, why don’t we go into the other room for a second ok… please Eddie” he asked him, stroking his hand as close to Eddie’s neck as he felt he’d be allowed, and Eddie sniffled once more before sitting up and wiping his cheeks, muttering a quick “no, its ok, I’m good, I’m good”.

“No, Eddie come on, if you need a minute, that’s healthy ya know… it might be good for you to just disconnect and have a cry, there's nothing wrong with that, what you two have been through… I mean shit, Eddie, that would be enough to send me into a panic attack” Eddie just stared at the carpet, his typical doe-eyed expression, which was normally cute in more comedic moments was just heart wrenching to see.

“Eddie, look at me, I want you to be able to get these feelings out, but I also don’t want Becca to worry, so here's what we’re going to do… we’re going to get up, we’re going to lay on my bed, and you can vent, or cry, and yell at me for however long you want, and I’ll be there with you every step of the way, ok? You can’t bottle this up Ed’s” his hand grazed Eddie’s neck for just a moment, and then Eddie made eye contact, looking up at Rich.

“Uh… ok, yeah… um… did she… do you think she heard me” Eddie asked Rich softly, and Richie felt his heart break.

“Nah Ed’s, I checked when you first hugged me man, she said she was going to the bathroom, but I’m pretty sure she went into one of the bedrooms to get away from the elderly” he said with a laugh, and Eddie gave a wet laugh with him, tears still welled up tightly in his eyes.  Richie gave him a small smile, his hand resting on the no man's land between Eddie’s shoulder and his neck.

“Come on, I’ll let her know you’re just tired and you’re gonna take a nap or something, ok, and then I’ll sit with you until you start to feel a bit better, alright” Richie said to him, and Eddie smiled as the tears broke free from their hold, and his head slumped slightly forward.  Eddie reached a hand up to hold the one on his neck as he fell forward once again.

“I’m s-sorry Rich, I don’t- don’t mean to be this… FUCK” he muttered, and Richie just shushed him softly “Hey, its ok, we all have moments, come on… lets go, c’mere” he slowly lifted Eddie up with him, walking Eddie towards his room.  Once Eddie was sitting on the bed, Richie gave him a reassuring smile and placed a hand on Eddie’s cheek, lowering himself down to Eddie’s eye level.

“I’m gonna go tell Becca you’re going to rest, ok? I’m not leaving you, I’ll just be right back” he said with a smile, and Eddie finally laughed and muttered “you fucking better be Trashmouth… shit I haven’t panicked like this in fucking years…”.

Richie just smiled sadly at him, looking up at him once again.

“It’s ok to have a moment Ed’s, it doesn’t make you weak, everyone needs a good cry every now and again, I mean how do you think I stay so sane, every Tuesday night is dedicated to tear-jerking films just to relieve my tear glands” that got Eddie to laugh, actually REALLy laugh, and Richie thought that the one laugh he received from Eddie meant more than an entire auditorium of laughter.

“Ok Kaspbrak, I’ll be right back,” he said, walking over through the open door and into the hallway, rasping on the guest bedroom lightly.

“What” he heard an aggressive voice mutter, and Richie rolled his eyes quietly saying “Hey uh, Bec? You’re dad is gonna take a nap ok, he’s just kinda tired from the trip, I just wanted to let you know if you need anything to just knock on my door ok? We’ll both be in there, I’ll just be on my computer working”.

Mid talking through the door, she yanked it open, looking up at Richie.

“He’s crying isn’t he” she whispered to him, looking up at him.  Richie stared at her in shock, his mouth shaping into an ‘o’ as he tried to think of a good lie-.

“I heard him crying from the bathroom, I do listen, I’ve just got a good poker face.  You guys swear a lot by the way” she said softly, but there wasn’t really a joking tone, she was just sort of rambling “I just… its my fault isn’t it, he’s crying because of me right”.

Richie quickly dropped to his knees and put a hand on her shoulder.

“God no, it isn’t because of you, ok” he told her softly.  He was shocked she hadn’t broken down crying, but he knew she had to be hiding it behind a facade.  She did say she had a good poker face “It’s your mom, ok, none of this is your fault, he’s just… he was telling me a bit of what happened-”

“Yeah I know, I heard you both talking dipshit-”

“Hey, first off that’s rude and uncalled for, and second, none of what happened is your fault.  You know, Eddie’s mom was a really toxic person too. I’d met her a couple of times, and I always used to crack jokes, but she would lie to Eddie and manipulate him, and I always hated the way she made Eddie feel, and you know what, that is exactly what your dad is trying to protect you from, he’s just upset that you had to suffer through it anyway” he told her, and she finally started to tear up a bit, but she wiped them away before they ever fell.

“Yeah… he told me,” she stated, and Richie gave her a small smile “Yeah see, it wasn’t your fault… you know, I joke that you’re the badass version of Eddie-”

“That’s a swear” she said mockingly.

“Shit sorry-” 

“That’s another one-”

“Ok, no, shut up, my point is kid, that you’re both exactly alike in one very specific way, honestly… you’re both brave… braver than you know” he told her, and she just stared at him with tears building partially in her eyes and hugged Richie.

“Oh shit, we’re hugging… ok” Richie stated softly, but awkwardly hugged her back anyways.  She stood there for a long moment, Richie just resting on his knees and letting her hug him.  They were there for less than a minute, and then finally, Bec pulled away shoving Richie off her playfully.

“Ok, that’s enough feelings for the day, you gotta go back to the old folks home I assume” she quipped, and Richie just stared at her boggled “hey, you know, has anyone ever told you you’re a bit of an asshole” he stated jokingly, before he realized he did it again.

“Shit, SHIT… ok, ok, sorry uh… let me think, just… just tell me beep, beep Richie whenever I swear around you, ok, I promise it’ll shut me up faster than anything else does” he said shaking his head and she just grinned at him, picking her DS back up and sitting on the bed.

“Nah, I have a better idea Mr. Richie, I’m just gonna swear around you whenever I want, and you’re going to let me, and if we fail to come to an understanding, I’ll just tell my dad you said the ‘fuck’ word in front of me” holy shit, she was fucking evil.

“You wouldn’t fucking dare…” he muttered to her, just staring in shock, and she just laughed at him pulling the light on the lamp next to her bed before stating “beep, beep richie, get the fuck out of my room”.

Richie has never been more slack jawed in his damn life.  He just shook his head and began to close the door when he heard her whisper “Richie” really quietly, and he looked at her in shock.

“I mean this. Thank you” she said softly, giving him an actual smile before turning to face the other way. Clearly officially dismissing him.

“Uh… yeah, you’re welcome Becca”.

Chapter Text

Richie walked back into his room dazed, briefly looking at his watch to get a rough estimate of the time.  It was roughly two in the afternoon at this point, and he looked at Eddie now lying on the bed, eyes closed in actual relaxation, so Richie decided to let him sleep since he must have actually been more a lot more tired than he’d let on.

Richie smiled at him and walked over briefly to pick up one of his beers from the box by the bed, dedicating a quick moment to pull the blanket up over Eddie’s shoulder.  Richie smiled fondly at him as he opened his beer, taking a quick swig as he looked at him. It was wild what unconsciousness would do to your facial expressions, because without all the consistently readable stress on Eddie’s face, he looked years younger.

After one last lingering glance, he took another long sip and made his way to his computer, turning on the device and quickly opening up his word document.  He’d already been rejected for a few of his other projects, but this was the one he really cared about. His magnum opus. 

He’d been trying to write a dark comedy for a while now, and it’d been a small passion project that he’d been working on for nearly a year.  It was meant to be (in theory) a funny, and somewhat absurd action comedy where the apocalypse happens and the people who created the “pay me and ill watch your pets when you go to the afterlife” people are actually forced to commit to their obligation.  It was a bit of a ridiculous premise, but to him that was kind of the point. All the pets are dropped off at the main character and the main character’s boyfriend's house, and the two essentially just have to keep from killing each other as they protect all manner of pets in the apocalypse from demons and eventually the actual devil.  He’d been really inspired to write it after the May 21st apocalypse prediction that sucked everybody in for months back in 2011.  

And yes, Richie understood the implications of “Main Character and His Boyfriend”, but the entire dynamic of the two main characters was built entirely around…

Well shit.

Richie let the realization sink into him like a polite stabbing as he realized that he’d been subconsciously writing about himself and Eddie.  The dynamic of him and his childhood crush. The crush he didn’t even fucking remember until a few days ago. Richie stared at his screen with his mouth hanging open like a crazy person as he nervously readjusted his glasses, how had he never connected this back to Eddie?  What the fuck happened to them to fuck with their memories like this.

He wanted answers but he had a sneaking suspicion he wasn’t going to get any.  

He tried his best to think through the haze and smoke of his mind's eye, trying to remember literally anything about their history.  About he and Eddie’s memories. It was all very broken and abstract. He remembered very random moments like Richie throwing trash at Eddie in disgusting water.  He remembered Eddie breaking his arm and him desperately writing over the Loser signature with a V for Lover (Eddie was too precious). He remembered standing next to Eddie in their underwear on a cliff, watching some half remembered girl with red hair jump straight off the edge with zero hesitation and then...

He remembered a fucking clown.

He placed his head in his hands and tightened his grip on his hair, squeezing it in frustration.  He looked back up at his story slowly, looking through the other scenes to see if his subconscious had snuck any hints in there.

If he’d somehow remembered Eddie enough to write about themselves as the two main characters dynamic, he had to have written about the others.  He couldn’t remember their names, but maybe reading through his work again could help him to decode it.

He quickly wrote down every character who’d ever made an appearance in the plot.  He wrote brief descriptions about them, and the way they acted with other characters.

The whole hook in his little action/comedy was that the two main guys take the pets in a car to try and find somewhere safe in the now apocalyptic hell-earth, and they run into others that join them on their mission along the way.  

The first character that strikes a chord with him is a tall, lanky Jewish guy he’d written, who is a dry, obsessive-compulsive neat freak and also the first to join the two characters.  A running gag he’d been pushing into the script was a consistent irritation on that characters end to the two main guys. Essentially that the main couple’s dynamic would always lead to them fighting about stupid bullshit (familiar, huh...), with the other guy always doing the equivalent of rolling his eyes at their arguments. Fuck this had to be one of them but… who?

“Rich…?” a sleepy voice asked quietly, and Richie jolted back to reality, quickly scribbling a star next to the characters name and turning the page upside down so that Eddie wouldn’t see.

It’s not like he didn’t want to tell Eddie, he honest to god DESPERATELY wanted to tell Eddie what he’d uncovered, but he knew… he fucking knew that there was no way he could explain this to Eddie without revealing that he’d been practically in love with Eddie for years.  He thought about different ways he could try to explain it, but he knew even if he altered the plot of the story Eddie would still, undoubtable discover the truth eventually.  He was always smart like that.

So Richie put a pin in the panic and decided that was a problem for Future Richie, finally dropping it from his mind as he swiveled around in his office chair to turn towards the bed, giving Eddie a reassuring smile.

“Hey man, shit is it already almost four? I got so caught up in my shit I didn’t even realize, yeah you’ve been asleep for at least two hours” Richie said, and Eddie’s eyes just jumped comically as he nearly bolted out of the bed.

“HOLY SHIT, TWO FUCKING HOURS, I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE SLEEPING RICH, IS BEC-”

Richie squinted his eyes dramatically at Eddie yelling before eventually holding up a hand to cut Eddie off.

“Hey, fuck me Eduardo calm down, yeah I let you sleep, you looked like you needed it and Becca’s perfectly fine, she’s actually taking a nap too” Richie stated calmly to Eddie, who still looked like he was ready to burst back into the action of dramatically not sleeping.

“Fuck ok… no I just didn’t want to impose, this is your bed and I-”

“Hey, hey, Ed’s come on, look at me, do I look offended” Richie said dryly, “It’s fine, I promise you”.

“Don’t call me Ed’s” Eddie muttered rolling his eyes at Richie, and Richie’s eyebrows flew up as his eyes widened.

“OH SHIT, you ACTUALLY remembered that huh, you used to always say that shit to me and I used to always ignore you, good times” Richie said with a small laugh.  Eddie finally started grinning and laughed with him, pushing past Richie to walk out into the hallway as they talked.

“Yeah, you’re a fucking prick like that aren’t you” Eddie sneered before pushing into the bathroom and Richie followed behind him.

“It’s my one talent on this Earth” Richie snarked back with a smirk, leaning on the doorway as Eddie washed his face in the sink to try and wake himself up.

“So… we should probably discuss this shit a bit more, how weird all that stuff is, you know, with our memories” Eddie said, turning the sink off and grabbing the towel off the counter “we should also discuss how you hung this towel up in the most shitty humanly way possible because its crooked and not even folded, but I’m trying to focus on bigger priorities so I’m just gonna give you a quick ‘fuck you’ about it and move forward”.

“Jesus, its a fucking towel Ed’s, only you’d get so personally offended by the way I hang up a towel” Richie smirked at him as Eddie finished wiping the water from his face, and immediately after he was done he proceeded to throw the fucking wet towel at Richie’s laughing head.

“Fuck you bro” he laughed as Richie giggled stupidly with him, after having blocked the towel from hitting his head “but I am serious about that man, that memory shit like… its weird right? We know each other, but we don’t even know where we grew up” Richie’s smile fell a little as he mentioned that, because shit, now he’d have to pretend he hadn’t made his insane fucking discovery not twenty goddamn minutes ago.

He could sneak in the discoveries he’d made through natural means however, pretend he remembered little bits and pieces naturally.

Yeah that was a good plan.

Much better than telling Eddie ‘Hey yeah, I had a gay crush on your our entire childhood, and I subconciously wrote it into the script I’m trying to get greenlit, thanks Ed’s’.

“Yeah uh, I think it started with a D, but it's honestly all a haze… I remember a group… I remember uh… a kid? I think he was Jewish, little tall and lanky uh… I can’t think of his n-”

“Stanley…” Eddie whispered, and Richie just froze up.

“Holy fuck, uh… holy fucking shit, you’re right... Stanley… he was one of my best fucking friends” Richie nearly fell over as he ran a hand anxiously through his hair, shaking mildly at the adrenaline these memories were kicking up in him.

“He was my friend too… we knew him, we were all so close… how the fuck could we have forgotten him Rich, how the fuck does that even happen”.

“I don’t know Eddie” he stated softly, shaking his head from side to side in disbelief “I… I honestly don’t know how I could have ever forgotten you… I… how did you remember me?”

Eddie stiffened next to him, his face freezing on the expression that Richie had always kept filed away in his brain as ‘Eddie panicking internally’.  Richie dropped his hand from his head and walked up to Rich, placing a hand on his arm in an attempt to comfort that panic.

“Ed’s, hey its ok if you don’t wanna go in depth right now, we can drop it if you-”

“No, fuck no I just… ok, so I’d just picked up Becca from the hospital.  Everything with Myra and Bec had just happened and I’d basically been given custody that night.  I… Myra was always forced to be the center of my axis so between Becca and Myra, I never really made any actual friends in New York” he said, looking at the floor tiles as he leaned on the sink.

“I remember panicking because I knew we needed to get out of New York or Myra wouldn’t quit trying to get to Becca, and look, I know Myra’s her mom, and I hope eventually they can have a healthy relationship, but Becca was so scared to be near her, and just being in New York would trigger her anxieties.  She didn’t want to see her mom, and she was nervous that Myra would just pop up on her since they lived in the same city. So I naturally wanted to move us, but Myra got the vast majority of my money in the divorce and I wasn’t really in any state to relocate-”

“Unless you had someone” Richie whispered, and Eddie looked and their eyes met.  Richie held his gaze, staring down at Eddie in shock.

“Yeah… and I remember the panic of not knowing anybody outside of New York, and freaking out, not knowing what to do when you just… popped into my head, like, in the midst of my panic your name just sorta popped in” Eddie said with a shrug “and it was like, as soon as I remembered your name, I remembered you, and it was like I was being hit in the head with a baseball bat, that I could honestly ever forget you… it honestly hit me like an epiphany”.

“But, why me Ed’s, I still don’t fully get it, why not one of the others” Richie asked, desperately wanting an answer, but Eddie just shrugged and gave an exasperated “I don’t know, you just did”.

Richie closed his eyes and let out a long exhale, moving over to the sink next to Eddie and sitting on the edge with him, unsure of what to say.  Luckily, Eddie talked for him.

“You know, I’m grateful that it was you though… I might be having a hard time remembering the others, and I know they were important to us but, if you were the one I managed to remember, you must have been the most important” Eddie stated with a soft look.  He was looking at the tiles on the floor, just staring now and Richie had honestly never wanted to kiss him mor-.

Don’t touch the other boys Richie.

The voice wasn’t his and it startled him out of his moment, causing him to flinch slightly and Eddie seemed to notice it, because suddenly Eddie’s hand was on his shoulder, shaking him gently.

“Hey man, you ok…” Eddie asked him quietly.

“Fuck, yeah… I just… I’m so glad you remembered me” Richie whispered, his voice softening at the admission, and Eddie just looked at him and smiled when suddenly they were interrupted.

“Daaaaaad, it’s already nearly five, you promised me we’d go to In-N-Out when we got to California, so come on lets go” Becca was throwing on her jacket and grabbing her precious DS and backpack, literally prepped to walk out the door, and Eddie broke the eye contact to stare into the hallway and shout “I’m coming sweetie, one second”.

He looked back at Richie apologetically.

“Sorry Rich, duty calls right- though say, do you want to come with us? I mean, you’re the big shot comedian living in LA, you could give us a tour and show us around or something” Eddie stated to him with a small laugh, lifting himself off the counter and pushing himself to stand in the doorway.

“Nah Ed’s, you go have time with your daughter, seriously, y'all have fun, I still have some work I need to finish burning through anyway but uh… thanks for inviting me, ya know” Richie said, giving him his biggest smile to try and reassure Eddie that it was fine.  Eddie lingered another second, masking some emotion on his face with a small grin before saying “yeah, sure Rich, sorry didn’t mean to distract you from your work uh… I’ll see you in a few hours then, yeah?”

Richie nodded quickly “oh god yeah, absolutely, yeah I’ll be here, you guys just have fun”.

Eddie nodded at him politely with a smile “Ok Rich, well I guess I’ll see you in a few hours.” 

Richie nodded back and gave him a salute as Eddie exited the doorway into the hall, walking Becca towards the front door.  Becca briefly turned back towards Richie and gave a quick wave and a “BYE YOU OLD NERD” quickly followed by an angry “BECCA” as they exited the door.  Richie could still hear the two of them bickering the whole way to Eddie’s rental car, and Richie just let his smile drop slowly.

He honestly wanted to go, but after everything he figured they probably needed some time to themselves… besides, Richie had just made an important discovery.  His theory was proven true. His description of the character he’d written was Stanley.

With one last glance at the closed door, he made his way back to his room, and turned on his computer to get back to work.  He’d find the others in that story somewhere.

Chapter Text

Hours had gone by and Richie had compiled a bit of a list of each character from his story.  He had Stan figured out thanks to Eddie, but was still struggling to remember Stan’s last name.  He tried to think of the first letter in the name, tried to remember anything that could come to his mind to give him some sort of a clue, but nothing was coming.

He started getting frustrated, looking down at his watch to see that it was now nine.  Eddie and Becca had left about three hours ago now, and he was already wondering when they were coming home.  Richie checked his phone for texts, noticing that he did receive one from Eddie an hour prior.

Hey Trashmouth, Becca begged me drive her around LA, but we didn’t account for the traffic, so it's taking us a lot longer to get back that we’d expected.  We’re ok though! We’ll be back soon I hope. Enjoy your free time while it lasts Tozier!

Richie sighed as he came to the realization that he was, in fact, not enjoying his free time.  He started wondering when he’d become such a lonely bitch, but he knew he’d stayed home for a purpose, and he decided that if he was going to be here, he might as well keep working.  

He pulled up Facebook, typing Stanley into the search and watching the little line on the search bar blinks at him, patiently waiting for him to put in another letter.  He rubbed his hands through his hair as he tried desperately to claw through memories. It never really came to him naturally, almost like he was diving into pitch black water to try and find something at the bottom.  

He finally managed to grasp onto a memory of him riding his bike around Stanley, teasing him relentlessly… but what was it he said?  He’d been making fun of his name but he was having a lot of trouble remembering words…

‘What did you say your last name was? Stanley Urine?’ the young version of him had taunted.  Even younger than the memories of them with the clown. He’d realized that this was when he and Stanley had first met…

‘Wow, you’re absolutely hilarious, how long did it take you to come up with that one genius…’ Stan had said with an irritated glance.

Holy shit…

Stanley Uris… It was Stanley Uris, it had to be.

He quickly searched the name on Facebook and went through the profile pictures of each name until he found him.  He’d found Stanely. He’d know that face anywhere.

He clicked Stanley's profile picture, sending him a friend request quickly and waiting for something to happen, though he realized realistically that not everyone had no life like him, so it would probably be some time before he got a response.

Desperately trying to distract himself, he checked his phone again for messages before he started getting antsy.  He knew Eddie and Becca were fine. He knew that. But it was less about worrying for them, and more about how he just wanted to see them.

He never even realized how lonely he was until they’d gotten here.  

He walked out into his living room and decided to try and watch something to pass the time.  He turned on a comedy and found himself staring at the screen trying to distract himself. He decided to shoot Eddie a text.

Well hello Eddiekins, coming home late I see, that’s mighty daring of you! Well while you and Bec were wandering the LA landscape undoubtedly looking at crackheads and tourist traps, I figured it out.  Stanley fucking Uris, I remembered because of a memory I had of the first day we’d met after school, I called him Stanley Urine.

He waited a few seconds, laying his phone down and trying to actually watch the movie.  He wasn’t even invested honestly, he just desperately didn’t want to lose his sanity in waiting for Eddie to respond.

Luckily, at the mention of Stanley it didn’t take very long.

HOLY SHIT, HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN, its so fucking obvious now that I’m seeing it… and fuck, only you would remember one of us through a memory of insulting us, always love to remember the good times back when you were just a unfunny prick.

Richie smirked at the text, looking back up at the TV and trying not to get to obsessed in the conversation.  Before he could think of a response however, his phone dinged once again.

We’ll be back in like… ten minutes, I swear to god LA is a living fucking death trap Richie, nobody in this fucking city knows how to drive properly.  I swear to god I don’t know how to drive in this everyday.

He could imagine Eddie’s nervous road rage in his mind's eye as he laughed at the text.

It really isn’t that bad once you get used to it, also… are you texting while you’re driving Ed’s, that's VERY unsafe dear, how are you supposed to get home and watch Shaun of the Dead with me if you text and fly into one of the local LA crackheads???

Richie smirked and sat there waiting for a response, but frowned somewhat when he realized he'd subconsciously said 'dear'.  He obviously meant it sarcastically (though deep down, he knew that thought was a lie), but he panicked somewhat, hoping Eddie would take it as a joke and not an extremely gay moment. He was only glancing up at the movie in spurts now.  He checked his Facebook one more time to see if Stanely had added him, but of course he hadn’t yet.  It had only been an hour after all.

Eddie didn’t fail to respond in record time though.

First of all dickhead, we’ve been stuck moving like one mile an hour for the past ten minutes on this interstate, so I’ve been texting you at traffic stops, dick, and second, what fucking local crackheads are we talking about, you?

Also, if you really are watching Shaun of the Dead, get ready to restart it asshole, because thats my favorite fucking movie.

Richie felt his heart flutter at the response.  Only Eddie would be able to call him a fucking crackhead, and make his chest do that all in the same sentence.  He smiled dumbly at the phone, typing quickly to respond to Eddie, all the while desperately trying not to overthink the fact that Eddie hadn't corrected him calling him 'dear'.

Anything you want, you fucking asshole, though you’re gonna regret calling me a crackhead, because now I’m gonna make you dual me in hand to hand combat for the controller, and since your so little, I’m not very optimistic about your chances Spagheddie :/ .

Richie grinned, already going ahead and restarting the movie when he saw the headlights pull up outside the house.  He tried not to be too excited as he heard Becca and Eddie arguing all the way to the front door, when suddenly the door opened and they were finally back.

“Old man! I missed you and- OH MY GOD, YOU’RE WATCHING SHAUN OF THE DEAD” Becca shrieked, more positive emotion than he’s seen out of her in fucking… well fucking ever. 

“BECCA, HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHAUN OF THE DEAD IS, ITS RATED R” Eddie yelled, looking like he was on the verge of a heart attack, eyes wide as he crossed his arms at her.

“I saw it at Megan’s sleep over last year! I loved it! Come on daddy, it's really not that explicit” Becca said with a halfhearted shrug as she ran over to the couch, sitting down next to Richie “come on, I’ve already seen it, so I’ve already been corrupted;I can’t get corrupted worse on a second viewing, it's just logic” she smugly, looking over at Richie and giving an exaggerated wink to Richie, as if she was giving him a secret code of ‘watch, he’s about to say yes’

“Ooooh my god, Becca… I cannot believe you’ve seen this movie. Well I guess if you’ve already seen it, it can’t be any worse on the second watch… but please, no more rated R movies without aski- well shit, you’re just gonna do it anyway, aren't you, I don’t even know why I ask” he was just rambling now all the while Richie could see Becca holding her mouth to cover her laughter.  God, she really had Eddie wrapped around her finger.

"Well, I guess the dual is off then if the lady demands to watch the movie from the start, legally I’m obligated not to say no” he said, giving Becca a grin as she smiled back at him.  Fuck she looked so much like Eddie.

“Wow Richard, you really aren’t the mean old sexist I took you for, that was so polite,” she said with a large, mocking grin, and Richie just groaned, raising the controller up threateningly.

“Hey! I never WAS the mean old sexist, you little brat, don’t make me turn this off and turn on the discovery channel” he said to her, and she jumped up off the couch, moving in front of Richie to grab for the controller.

“NO, YOU ALREADY HAVE IT TURNED ON YOU OLD ASS, GIVE IT” she shouted grabbing for it as Richie laughed, easily standing up and holding the controller above his head.

“Hmm, you know what the discovery channel is too good for you” he muttered shaking his head before letting out a sarcastic fake gasp and whispering “ooh, I know, maybe we’ll turn on the local government law proceedings, that sounds like a fantastic show for us to watch together” he was giggling as Becca started calling him names, and he looked up to see Eddie grinning at the two of them fondly, and Richie swore it made his heart melt.

“Ok, ok, simmer down you brat, we’re watching Shaun of the Dead, here move over” he told her, sitting back down and handing her the controller “here, now you have the controller, no more teasing I promise”.

“Thank you, Jesus you old people just go out of your way to be rude to me, I swear” she muttered jokingly, shaking her head as Eddie sat down to the left of her.

“Come on sweetheart, we’re joking” he stated, ruffling her hair playfully as they all settled in on the couch.  They sat there watching the movie for the next few hours, all cracking up on that couch together throughout the scenes.  Eventually Richie felt a weight hit his side, and he realized that Becca had passed out, falling asleep gently on Richie’s arm.

He looked up at Eddie who was staring at them with this weird look in his eyes, and Richie just shrugged awkwardly at him with a grin, trying his best not to wake Becca.

“She likes you a lot” Eddie whispered to Richie, and Richie felt his eyebrows rise at that “seriously? I thought she thought I was an old sexist” he chuckled, and Eddie just shook his head with a smile.

“Nah, she teases people she likes… ya know, just like you do” Eddie was now making eye contact with Richie, and Richie just gave him a lopsided grin, not really sure what to say back to that.  Eddie trucked onwards though before he could even think of a response.

“So, Stanley Uris… I can’t believe I remembered his first name but not his last” Eddie stated, looking back at the TV and shaking his head.

“Nah, I only remembered after like… hours of thinking about it, it took me a while” Richie whispered, careful not to talk to loud and wake Becca “I sent him a Facebook request, I’m hoping he’ll see my name and remember me but…”.

Eddie nodded at that “yeah, we’ll just have to wait and see.''

The rest of the movie fell into a comfortable silence, with Richie and Eddie just calmly sitting there with Becca sleeping between them.

“This is nice…” Eddie whispered to Richie, looking at him once more “you know, Me, Myra and Bec, we never really did things like this together… it was always so distant, so it was always just me and Bec but… I’m really glad she likes you Rich” Eddie said to him, moving his arm to pat Richie’s shoulder before letting it dwell there.  Richie felt himself heat up at the touch, but kept his cool and just smiled back at Eddie.

“Yeah…” he whispered, lifting his own hand to pat the one resting on his shoulder “me too”.

Eddie then turned back to the movie, not saying another word but not moving his hand from its spot.  Instead, he just readjusted, moving Richie’s hand in his until their fingers twined together, and Richie felt himself short circuit at the fact that Eddie fucking Kaspbrak was now holding his fucking hand.

They didn’t say a word about it.  Not a damn word. They just allowed themselves to enjoy the moment, reveling in the comfort they both felt at the feeling of their hands intertwined, and Richie grasping onto the realization that he’d found what he’d been missing all this time.

Chapter Text

A number of days had gone by and Eddie and Richie quickly fell into a routine.  It was currently summer, so Becca didn’t have any school to go to. She tended to spend most of her time just playing her games, and eventually, Richie (feeling bad that she was stuck playing games alone) wound up buying her a PSN account so she could play games with her friends from New York.

It immediately made a difference, because soon after the purchase, Becca was on that fucking Playstation every goddamn minute of the day with her friends, and it made him relieved to see her so happy.  She eventually even made friends in LA after Eddie managed to drag her away from the Playstation long enough to take her to Santa Monica. Richie had tagged along out of sheer boredom (and totally NOT because he just wanted to follow Eddie around and be blessed by his presence), and since they all three were there, they wound up heading out to the beach so they could see the Santa Monica Pier.

They went to the beach first, and they eventually managed to find a less populated spot to set up their chairs when some annoying kids ran up to their spot, all bringing shovels, and a half-assed plan to dig a hole large enough to bury their friend alive (or up to his neck at least).  While Becca definitely had stared at them a little oddly, she seemed intrigued enough to eventually walk up to ask what they were doing, all the while Richie and Eddie watched as she began to join the group in their scheme of attempted murder, with Richie smiling at her while Eddie just seemed to glare.  Richie noticed and nudged Eddie’s shoulder slightly.

“Jesus Eduardo, what was that look about” Richie smirked, and Eddie just shook his head and gave a frazzled look, which he seemed to be directing at the sand.

“Nothing Trashmouth, I guess I should have just assumed that the first people she’d befriend would be a bunch of stupid boys attempting to literally bury their friend alive, which is obviously just what I wanted,” he said, shaking his head at the irony “Myra would have had a fit if she were here”.

Richie felt his smile drop slightly at the mention of Myra’s name, so he quickly tried to change the subject.

“I mean, is a bunch of moronic boys really so bad? I mean, look at… shit what was her name… god, the girl we used to hang out with?  With the red hair” Richie pointed out, gesturing to his own head as if they would prove his ‘red hair’ point, and Eddie looked up, narrowing his eyes at Richie in confusion.

“The fuck do you mean, using the girl we hung out with as evidence, we literally can’t even remember her name, let alone how she turned out” Eddie said louder, drawing the attention of other beach-goers before quickly putting a hand over his mouth in embarrassment for having spoken so loud. 

“Don’t worry guys, he’s just very enthusiastic about the girl who’s name we can’t remember, please carry on” Richie gave them a charming smile as he waved away the couple walking by, the two of them staring at Richie and Eddie in bewilderment.  Eddie was just burying his head in his hands as Richie started laughing at his embarrassment.

“Ok, I see your rebuttal Ed’s, but come on, give your girl some credit, Becca’s smart as hell, she’ll probably wind up just bullying them into submission and becoming the matriarch of their group, I mean look at her” Richie said with a grin, nudging Eddie again and pointing at Becca, who, by perfect comedic happenstance, was criticizing them in fast-spoken, near shrieks as she snatched one of their shovels from them and announced that she’d ‘show them how to PROPERLY bury a human body’. 

Eddie just glared back at Richie in horrified frustration that THIS was the moment Richie chose to use for his evidence, before quickly giving Richie a hard return shove. Richie, unable to quit laughing at the situation, felt the shove and quickly pretended to fall over into the sand from the ‘brute force’.

“Ah, my wounds, you’ve betrayed me Edward” he yelled at him, and Eddie just shook his head at him in fake irritation.

“You are literally the most annoying human being” Eddie grumbled, and Richie just laughed as he pushed himself back up, placing a hand on his shoulder and leaning his weight on him.

“You love it when I irritate you, don’t lie to me” Richie smirked at him, and Eddie just scowled as he shook his head, readjusting his sunglasses.

“My love in question is far from the point I’m making, which is that you are STILL the most annoying human being on the planet” Eddie said in a mild tone, and Richie found himself unpacking both the fact that Eddie hadn’t corrected his little love jab, and also, that he had yet to push Richie away from leaning onto him.

This has recently become a recurring theme with them.  Eddie would find some excuse to touch Richie, and Richie would find himself paralyzed and unable to react.  The touch would always stay in a no-mans land of ‘is it gay’, like the Lord of the Rings forehead kiss, where it comes across as somewhat gay, but is still ambigious enough to leave one questioning.

And Richie sure as fuck questioned.

He didn’t have a strong enough memory of their history to know if this is just what they did.  Back when they lived in Derry (yes, he had finally remembered that shit hole towns name). He sometimes would try to think back to their deeper history, but all he ever really managed to pull up was half remembered moments of them bickering, or the fucking clown.

He tried not to question it too much though, because to be honest, whether this was normal to them or not didn’t really make a difference in the grand scheme of things.  Either way, Richie was fucking lost on him, whether this mattered to Eddie or not.

Richie liked to push the boundaries sometimes, so see what he could get away with since Eddie was allowing the touch.  This time, he decided to move his arm from its position of leaning on Eddie, to fully wrapping around Eddie’s shoulder, and by the grace of god, Eddie just leaned back into the touch and fucking allowed it.  Richie felt his whole body heat up as he began to overthink everything happening.

He sometimes wondered if he should say something.  Maybe a quick “hey, what are we doing” or a “is this a gay thing for you”, or maybe a tasteful “Eddie I think I’ve been in head over heels for you since our fucking childhood, and I really need to know what this means to you, or I might just fucking explode”.  Unfortunately though, Richie would think to ask, open his mouth to do so, and then firmly reclose it once he decided it wasn’t worth the risk of stopping these moments. The touching. As badly as Richie wanted to know what it meant, he was scared that if he flashed a spotlight on it, that Eddie would feel insecure and would want to quit doing… whatever this was.

So he just never asked.

And the touching continued.

“Holy shit James, what is going on here?” a woman shouted at one of Becca’s new friends, the shorter kid with blonde hair.  The woman in question must have been that kids parent, because she had the same blonde hair as him.  

“Uhh… mom, it's just ah-” the kid trailed off, unsure of what to say.  Rookie mistake.

“We’re burying Marvin alive” Becca said calmly, clearly meaning it in a sarcastic joking manner, but betraying herself by not even glancing up to look at the Jame’s mom as she continued to dig, and James immediately went into defensive panic mode, everyone involved swiftly ignoring the brief “my names not Marvin” that came from the smaller kid in the hole.

“NO, THAT’S A LIE, we were just… burying Martin up to his neck” James said with an awkward laugh, and the mom looked livid.

“Uhh, absolutely NO YOUR NOT, I am NOT going to sit through another one of Martin’s moms long, screaming phone calls just because you thought it would be funny to accidentally let him drown in the sand when high tide hits, no, unbury him now” she shouted, crossing her arms as James scowled, grabbing the shovel from an awkwardly stood Becca, who was just looking at Eddie and Richie with something that could almost be marked as horror.  Funny, Richie never expected to see THAT expression on her face.

“And you, who are you young lady, where are your parents” the mom shouted at Bec, and Bec, finally turned her gaze from Eddie and Richie, her eyes blazing at the mom, but she must have been rendered speechless because she didn’t say a word in response. Just calmly pointed over to where Eddie and Richie were sitting.

“You, you were just gonna let your daughter bury my sons friend in the sand? They’re in the middle of the beach, did you not even think about high tide, because that's a thing that MATTERS when you’re letting your kid bury children on a beach” she growled, walking towards Eddie and Richie as she shouted.  Eddie just opened his mouth to speak, but seemed unable to think of a good response before Richie thought of one for him.

“Hey, look lady, your moron fucking kids were gonna bury their friend with or without Becca’s help, don’t blame her like this was all her idea” Richie yelled back at her, getting annoyed that she’d even treat a kid she didn’t know so shitty.

“WOW, you are WAY out of line, don’t you swear at me like that” she was yelling now, and Richie felt his blood pressure go up two decimals. He really hated people.

“Hey, newsflash lady, YOU SWORE AT YOUR KID THE SECOND YOU WALKED UP, and to answer you, NO, we didn’t think about high tide, but did we look like we were gonna let your kids just fucking DIE if it happened, we were the ones actually WATCHING those kids, where the fuck were YOU” Richie was fucking furious, and Eddie just stood up after him to put a hand on his shoulder.

“Rich, come on, it's fine, it isn’t worth it” Eddie whispered to Richie, but Richie just pushed onward.

“No Ed’s it isn’t fair that she’s jumping down our throats over something her kids did, just because Becca wanted to play with them too, acting like she’s the fucking evil ringleader” he muttered to Eddie before turning back to the woman in question “look, kids like to do stupid shit, its what makes them kids, you are blowing this so far out of proportion we left orbit five fucking minutes ago, and it isn’t fair that you’re treating our kid like a piece of shit just because she wanted to play with yours” Richie finally muttered, trying not to think too hard about the fact that he accidently said ‘our kid’.  He’d meant it in a more general way (no he hadn’t) but it really came out not sounding that way at all, and Richie cringed at himself somewhat for having said it (that part is actually true).

“Look, I don’t know what you two do in your household, but THIS type of behavior doesn’t happen in mine, so just keep your daughter away from my son” she growled, walking back towards James and pulling his arm in order to drag him away.  The kids looked sad to go, Martin climbing out of the hole and following after James and his mom, and James just turned around to look at Becca and gave her a quick ‘call me’, to which she nodded in response.

“Yeah? Maybe keep your mild emotional abuse away from ours then you old, blonde bitch, and touch up your fucking roots” he shouted after her as she pulled up her manicured hand to flip them both off.  Richie just shook his head in irritation.

Becca made her way over to Richie and Eddie slowly, and Eddie quickly dropped to his knees to hug her, giving her a quick “don’t worry, you didn’t do anything wrong”.  Becca hugged him back, looking panicked as she closed her eyes to pinch back tears.

“Am… am I a bad kid” she whispered softly, and Eddie just shushed her before whispering “no, never… you’re the best kid”.

“Yeah, that hag was just an old bitch, don’t let her get to you” Richie muttered in annoyance as Becca looked up at him and laughed, rubbing her eyes and pulling back from the hug with Eddie to run over and hug Richie too.

“Thanks for defending me Richie” she whispered, and Richie just smiled at her fondly, ruffling her hair “of course I was gonna defend you, I mean, you’re a complete brat but even you weren’t doing anything that warranted that kind of a response”.

Becca just giggled, before looking up at them both.

“Jokes on her, I’m totally gonna date her son” she smirked, pulling the phone number out of her pocket, and while Richie went to laugh, Eddie went into panic mode.

“YOU ‘TOTALLY’ ARE NOT, YOU ARE TWELVE” he shouted at her as she started to laugh at his response, before Richie grabbed Eddie’s shoulder and whispered a quick “Ed’s, I think she’s just trying to get a rise out of you”.  Eddie just rubbed his forehead, as if to ease the tension out with touch alone.

“Honestly though, Becca, I could not be more proud of you with getting his number, that was slick as hell, because it is never too early in your life to learn how to be properly be a dramatic ‘b’ word, and I’m gonna help you drag this out for everything it's worth, even if it kills Eddie, it's worth the risk” Richie smirked at her, ruffling her hair as Eddie glared at Richie and yelled“over my deceased corpse”.

The rest of the day went somewhat uneventful.  Becca started texting the boy she’d met, and eventually Eddie and Richie got a moment to themselves when Becca ran off to the bathroom.

“Thanks for uh… for saying what you said, I was going to apologize to her but… honestly, she was way out of line, so while it kind of escalated, what you said was probably better” Eddie gave him a nod and a small smile, and Richie just smirked at him.

“Of course Ed’s, I live to be your knight in shining armor” Richie gave a mock bow as Eddie shoved him playfully, followed by grabbing Richie’s hand and pulling it into his.

“Sorry if I’ve been touching you a lot, I know that probably weirds you out, but… it helps to keep me grounded, I guess” Eddie whispered quietly to Richie, who was still busy being blindsided by the fact that Richie had grabbed his hand in public “I get so anxious all the time, and I guess the touching and stuff just reminds me that you’re here, I guess… I don’t know, I can stop though if its-” mid speech, Eddie was beginning to let go of Richie’s hand, when Richie just held on tighter, not giving Eddie the chance to pull away.

“Nah… not weird, it's the same feeling for me too Ed’s” Richie stated, refusing to make eye contact at a moment like this.  Because he was scared if he did, Eddie would see too much. Eddie was, however, looking at him, and from the corner of Richie’s eyes he could see a large smile forming on Eddie’s face.

“Thanks… for this, and for the mom and just… thanks for understanding Rich” he whispered to him, and Richie finally looked at Eddie, but that’s the exact moment that Becca sprinted out of the bathroom, yelling about something that James had said to her, right before-.

“Hey…” Richie and Eddie turned to the voice who’d spoken to them to see the mom from before.  Her face looking somewhat solum as she walked up to them.

Becca’s eyes got wide as she mouthed ‘HOLY SHIT ITS THE ANTI-CHRIST’ at Richie, but he didn’t even seem to notice since he was so caught up that she’d actually reappeared.  

“Look, before you say anything, I just wanted to apologize.  I talked to my son, and both he and Martin said it had been their idea collectively, and that your daughter just joined in later… I didn’t mean to jump to conclusions, I’ve just been mid-divorce and stressed and… shit I’m unloading, all I meant to say was that I didn’t mean to blow things up so far.  You’re daughter seems really nice, and James hasn’t shut up about her since the whole thing so… I’m sorry, and… I want them to be able to hang out, you know, if that’s what you and your daughter want” the blonde nodded to them, trying her best to give them a friendly smile. Richie was just so flabbergasted that he was left temporarily braindead.

Apparently, it's just their superpower to sense when they other is left speechless though, because just like Richie had before, this time Eddie popped in to speak.

“Uh, yeah you were pretty rude, but we did kind of lose our tempers too, I’d say.  It was a group effort of everyone being dicks, so we get it, and I think Bec would love that, she hasn’t shut up about you’re kid all day either” Eddie said with a polite smile, moving the hand that wasn’t holding Richie’s to shake hers.

“Truce?” Eddie whispered, and the blonde laughed softly, moving to shake Eddie’s hand “yeah, sure”.

“Wow, you really aren’t the rudest human being alive” Richie smirked, finally finding words as the blonde rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head.

“I’m trying to work on my ‘aggression’ with my therapist, but I clearly need more work.  Honestly though, what you said to me was probably warranted, I was acting like a complete bitch” she said with a laugh, and suddenly Richie felt bad for mocking her.

“Nah, uh, I kinda took things too far by calling you a bitch, you were clearly stressed, I could have done more to not escalate the situation so… uh, sorry from me too” Richie said with a shrug, and the mom smiled at him before shaking his hand as well.

“It’s ok, I understand, kids make you crazy ya know?  Anyway, I just saw you two and wanted to say something, oh and… uh, I felt to riled up to ask earlier but you’re that comedian right” the mom asked him and Richie nearly felt his heart hammer out of his chest.

“Oh uh, nah, probably got me mixed up with someone else” he stated, not really wanted to talk about his career or his unfunny jokes right now.  The mom squinted her eyes at him before accepting the answer, looking like she had a mild epiphany.

“No shit, you’re right, you couldn’t be him anyway, I'm nearly certain that guy is straight and has a girlfriend anyway, sorry for the mix up” she said, turning to wave and yelling “y'all make a cute couple by the way!”

Eddie and Richie just stared at her in shock, both wielding them same wide eyed panic with Richie’s mouth opened slightly at her parting words.  Before they even had time to acknowledge that statement though, Becca ran up to them yelling “OH MY GOD, HOLY SHIT”.

Eddie and Richie glanced at each other briefly, Eddie looking like he was on the verge of speaking, but quickly dropped the thought and turned to smile at Becca.

“Yeah I know, I thought she was gonna actually stab me, also come on Bec, no swearing, you know that” he laughed at her.  The rest of the night went pretty normal. Richie barely spoke because he was so in his head overthinking every interaction.  They called and taxi to pick them up, and while they stood their waiting, Eddie walked up behind him, slipping his hand into Richie’s once more.

“We don’t have to talk about it right now” Eddie whispered, and Richie just nodded, looking off vaguely in the distance.  They honestly did. They really needed to. What the fuck even was this situation? He found himself agreeing though, once again scared that if it were discussed that this would end.  And for Richie, that was the worst possible scenario.  So he nodded awkwardly to Eddie.

“Yeah… uh, ok... sounds good” Richie whispered back to him, suddenly hearing his phone ding and pulling it out with his spare hand.  He originally had thought it to be the taxi update but as soon as he pulled his phone out, he felt himself freeze.

Stan had accepted his friend request.

Chapter Text

The ride home from Santa Monica was tense to say the least.  Eddie and Becca were chatting together, and Richie was just sitting and staring at Stan’s Facebook page like a crazy person.  He spent a lot of time trying to figure out what to say, but christ it’d been so long and he was coming up empty on what the fuck to even say.  

Plus, if he and Eddie both had an existential crisis upon remembering each other, he had to assume that Stan was in the midst of moving to Finland.  

Richie nervously pushed his glasses back on his head as he felt pressure graze his shoulder.  He jumped slightly at the feeling before calming slightly upon realizing it was Eddie, who was looking at him with a concerned expression.

He mouthed a quick ‘what?’ to Richie, but Rich didn’t have a response yet.  He just whispered a quick “Stan…” in response, and immediately Eddie’s eyes went big, as they typically did when he was in the midst of a panic, but he seemed to get the message.  They obviously couldn’t go in depth discussing their childhood traumas in the middle of a fucking taxi drive.

Once they arrived back at the house, they both walked inside quickly, Richie nearly dropping his keys as he tried to unlock the door, all the while he’d pushed Becca’s TED talk on the importance of Minecraft as a video game into the mild buzz of background noise.

Normally he’d try to indulge Becca a bit when she goes on one of  her quickly spoken rants, but right now, Richie was too in panic mode to really tease her, and he REALLY didn’t want to freak her out after the day she’d had.

Once the door was open, Becca all the while still talking, Eddie swerved around and dropped onto his knees to look at Becca, putting his hands on her shoulders quickly to try to cut her off.

“Becca, sweetie, I’m interested in and I definitely want to listen more, but something really important just came up and Richie and I REALLY need to talk in private, so we’re just gonna step into the other room for a moment, but I promise, when we come back, you can talk to us about Minecraft all night, I swear” Eddie stated firmly, trying his best to mask the panic in his voice.  Richie knew him well enough though to know it wasn’t being masked from his eyes, which were wide with nervous energy, and if Richie had noticed, Becca had DEFINITELY noticed.

Becca looked at him with narrowed eyes, her mouth opening slightly in question before she promptly closed it and gave a quick nod.

“Yeah uh… ok, whatever” she said with a small smile, walking over to the couch and turning on the playstation “I was done talking anyway” she shouted.

Eddie stayed knelt as he watched her walk off, letting out a deep sigh as he rubbed his head with his hands and lifted himself back up to a standing position.  Richie just looked at him with pure concern.

“Ed’s, are you ok” Richie asked softly, and Eddie just gave him a fake smile and a quick nod before walking up to Richie and grabbing his arm, yanking them both into Richie’s room.

Richie closed the door and Eddie immediately began pacing back and forth, looking like he was about to hyperventilate from nerves, and Richie immediately moved over to him and put both hands on Eddie’s shoulders.

“Hey, hey… fuck Eddie, come on, its ok” Richie whispered, but Eddie was just staring at the floor, shaking his head.

“Fuck Rich, I just didn’t expect him to actually get back to us… I don’t know, have you ever thought that maybe we’re digging into something that we shouldn’t touch” Eddie stated, his mouth turning into a firm line as he looked up at Richie “I mean, our brains clearly buried this shit for a reason, and it's not like I don’t wanna talk to Stan, but-”.

“A piece of you was hoping he wouldn’t answer, because that's easier than uncovering buried childhood trauma” Richie answered for him, a questioning tone at the end of his sentence, but it was clearly a statement.  Richie let out a stressed exhale as Eddie began to nod his head yes furiously.

“Yes, like as soon as you mentioned him answering, this fucking memory popped into my head of him nearly getting FUCKING EATEN by this tall woman with razer fucking teeth, and this shit?  It’s like everytime we unlock a new piece of the puzzle, more fucking bullshit spews back into my head, and I don’t- I don’t know if I can handle it Richie” Eddie stammered, and Richie quickly moved the hands that were resting on his shoulders to pull him into a hug.

“Hey, come on, its ok… whatever we did, whatever that thing was, none of it matters anymore because we survived it ” Richie whispered into Eddie’s ear, who was shaking slightly in Richie's arms “IT can’t hurt us anymore, and… and as scary as it is, I want to remember… I want to remember our friends, I mean, you have to want that too if you went out of your way to message me…”.

Eddie went quiet, his mouth opening but no words came out as Richie narrowed his eyes at him from behind his glasses.

“Eddie, buddy, come on what’s-”

“...IT…” Eddie whispered, looking up at Richie and making direct eye contact for the first time since they got home “you said IT… that’s what we called it… IT.”

As soon as Eddie said it, he remembered.  They didn’t know what it was or what to call it, so whenever they’d discuss what to do, they’d either call it ‘the clown’ or ‘IT’.  Richie felt, for a brief moment, like he might need to throw up, but he recovered quickly upon thinking that Eddie needs him more right now, and he exerted all his willpower to ensure that he wouldn’t.

He needed to redirect Eddie’s train of thought… Eddie was spiraling fast, he really needed to find something reassuring to say.

“Eddie, look, these memories?  Yeah? They’re just memories. They can’t hurt us anymore, because that thing? That fucking clown? I may not remember the process, or the deeply rooted lore, but I know that we wouldn’t be alive if we didn’t beat it- EY, uhuh, no, look at me Eddie” Richie whispered, putting a hand on Eddie’s chin to lift his head up, wanting to make sure Eddie was listening to him “Look at me… it is dead, ok, it can’t hurt us anymore, it can’t hurt Becca, we’re a world away from Derry, and these memories cannot hurt us, ok, we’re not going to let them”.

Eddie was just staring at him, clearly still horrified, but finding himself nodding to Richie’s speech anyway.  Suddenly though, Eddie screeched as he felt something brush past his leg and he jumped out of Richie’s grip.

“Holy fuck Eddie, what’s-” he cut himself off as he looked down to see Cinnabon, staring up at Richie with big yellow eyes.  It was Cinnabon, he’d brushed himself on Eddie’s leg, and looking back up at Eddie, he looked embarrassed as fuck about it.

“OH MY GOD, that SCREECH though Eddie, was that your masculine war cry, because it didn’t work on my cat, so I really don’t know who its intended for” Richie leaned his forehead on the side of his bed, cracking up and laughing until he eventually fell back and was lying on his back, wiping tears from his eyes as Eddie kept yelling “IT’S NOT FUCKING FUNNY DICKWAD, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY ALLERGENS CATS PRODUCE”.

“Fucking ALLERGENS, yeah, I fucking assumed you were allergic to cats, thats why I’ve been keeping Cinna in my room, but HOLY FUCK, if thats gonna be your reaction everytime you see a cat, I might need to let her loose for a bit, stretch her claws-”

“You are literally the most unfunny human being, I have no clue why you have a comedic career-”

“Fucking allergens” Richie giggled, putting both hands on his eyes as he smiled at the ceiling.  They eventually fell into a comfortable silence, Eddie still sitting in the corner a distance away, staring at Richie and his cat, and Richie just kept his eyes covered, still smiling at Eddie’s ridiculous phobias.

“You’re right… I’m sorry for overreacting- not about the cat, because realistically if a cat touches me, I won’t be breathing for a week, but for freaking out about Stan… I do want us to talk to Stan again, but it's like what I said to you about us reconnecting, the nightmares just got worse once we reconnected, which in your case it was worth the risk, but-”.

“What do you mean ‘in my case’” Richie whispered, and Eddie just stared at him for a minute, looking like he may just panic again, but Richie trucked onward, finally moving his hands to the cat resting on his chest and petting him as he turned his head to the side to look at Eddie “we did say that you messaged me first, come on, I can’t be that special” Richie said, more firmly this time, but followed by a self deprecating giggle.  Eddie was having none of that though, because he quickly moved over to where Richie was lying and took the hand touching the cat and pulled it into both of his, rubbing the palm of Richie’s hand gently as Richie held his breath.

“I can’t explain it all to you… there are things I could explain, but I already know how that shit will turn out, so I won’t even bother going into it… all you really need to know is that in my darkest, and if we’re being honest, drunkest moment, when everything in my life felt like it was unraveling and going to shit, it was YOUR name popped into my head, and when the memories came flooding back with it, all I could think was that I’d be more scared to never talk to you again, even if it meant remembering all the fear and the pain, I was more nervous of the thought of us never speaking again...” Eddie trailed off, both his hands stilling on Richie’s as they’re hands rested in his lap.

Richie felt himself move before his brain even registered he was doing it, and he pushed himself up, his cat leaping off of him as he moved his other hand to rest it on top of Eddie’s.  He looked at Eddie firmly, and this time Eddie held eye contact, and he looked at Richie with that same weird look that he got whenever Richie would bicker with his daughter, or when he’d comforted Eddie in the midst of a panic attack, and for the briefest of moments, he remembered that look from Eddie when they were kids.  When they were both fourteen and stupid, and Eddie had told Richie he was going to move away.  He remembered the same look from Eddie's face then that he was seeing now, and he didn't know what the fuck to think.

He also didn’t know what was meant to come next... he'd thought briefly about closing the space and kissing Eddie, but that same fucking thought popped back into his head, the same one from before.

Don’t touch the other boys, Richie…

Richie felt himself be torn in two by his conflicting emotions, looking down from the eye contact at their intertwined hands, when suddenly, the moment was taken from them as Richie’s phone dinged at them.

Eddie’s face immediately changed, and he pulled himself up from Richie’s hold to run over to Richie’s phone, muttering a quick “Stan…”.

Richie just stayed in his seated position, watching Eddie grab his phone with a plethora of mixed emotions buzzing through him.  

“Here, throw the phone to me Eduardo, it has a lock-”

“Oh, I unlocked it” Eddie responded with a small smile, looking up at Richie who was staring back at him with an ‘excuse me’ look on his face “one of the positive memories I’ve had of us, the not nightmarish ones, was playing a shit ton of streetfighter, and being the immature dickhead that you are, you always saved your highscores as DICK, which, wow very mature joke of you, very witty AND clever… but anyway, I just typed in the number equivalent to that for the password since its a four-number password anyway” Eddie said with a wink, tossing the phone to Richie who was just staring at him, somehow enamoured by the fact that Eddie knew his password purely based on Richie’s lack of maturity.

“Well ok then” Richie said with a shrug, looking at his phone and opening up Facebook. It was Stan… he’d messaged “Ed’s, you were the one with doubts, so I want to ask you before I commit and click the message… do you really want to do this” Richie asked, staring up at Eddie who had slowly made his way forward, kneeling next to where Richie was lying.

“Nah, we started this shit, and like you said, we killed that fucker, so if I chose to hide from the memories, well shit, it’d be like I was letting him... letting IT win” Eddie said with a confident nod, looking up at Richie and holding an empty hand up for Richie to grab “I wanna do this, Rich”.

Richie felt his head nod dumbly as he lifted his hand to grasp Eddie’s, smiling at him as Eddie intertwined their fingers once more.  Eddie, never releasing the hand in his grip, readjusted himself to lay next to Eddie on the floor, which shocked the fuck out of Richie all things considered, since floors seemed like the kind of thing to send Eddie on an OCD fever dream, but he decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.  With Eddie there, solid in his hand and looking at him with this... this fucking look of pure reassurance, he gave one last look at Eddie and lifted their clasped hands to his mouth, kissing Eddie’s hand firmly before quickly turning back to his phone and opening Stan’s message, not even giving himself the chance to see Eddie's reaction.

Holy shit Richie, you look like an alcoholic homeless man…

To which, Eddie burst out laughing at the message.  All tense, nervous energy from prior seemed to dissipate as Eddie began to crack up.

He unclasped his hand from Eddie’s so he could type, quickly wording out a moderate comeback.

Wow Stanley, aren’t you as loving and supportive as always, good to hear that loving, caring message from you buddy!

Richie looked at Eddie quickly, and Eddie gave him another small laugh, muttering a quick “alcoholic homeless man” between his laughter as Richie looked back at his phone and continued to type.

Look Stan, Eddie found me first, he’s actually here with me in LA, I’m sending you my number… I think we need to talk.

Chapter Text

Their phone call with Stan had gone well.  Well enough that Eddie and Richie now found themselves awaiting Stan’s arrival at the LAX…

“So… I have no idea when or how I ever forgot you Rich, I don’t even remember FORGETTING you if we’re being completely honest…” Stan had said to him, clearly uncomfortable about the conversation.

“Yeah, that’s the point… I forgot Eddie too, and Eddie only remembered me because… well shit, he still hasn’t cracked open that mystery yet” Richie stated, holding the phone between he and Eddie as they spoke on speaker.  Stan seemed to audibly sigh, muttering a sarcastic “Oh, I’m sure he hasn’t”, almost too low to catch… Richie caught it though, and like a reasonable human being, he filed it away under ‘statements to be reassessed later’ which now thinking on his internal joke, was an oddly specific file for the human brain to have, but he quickly jumped back into his conversation with Stan before he mentally debated himself.

“Anyway, yeah, it was complete chance that we even started talking, and ever since we’ve been back together, everythings been coming back in pieces… but, we think it has something to do with-”

“That fucking clown…” well shit, Stan was remembering more than he’d let on if he was finishing Richie’s sentences…

Eddie and Richie looked at each other briefly before Richie let out a slow exhale of breath, confirming his suspicions with a solumn “yeah… that fucking clown”.

They sat there in radio silence for a few moments before Stan whispered “it isn’t back, is it…?”

“What? The clown??? Holy shit, no I goddamn hope not, no Stanley, we just… we’re just trying to reconnect the dots ya know?  We remembered your name and decided to look you up” Richie looked at Eddie as he spoke “we’re trying to find all the Losers”.

“Yeah Stan, we just happened to remember you first, we don’t even really have a lead yet on the others, we remember a girl…” Eddie added in, and Richie snapped his fingers nodding in agreement “yeah, the girl with the red hair… uh, I think it was Molly?”

“No genius, it wasn’t Molly, you just called her that to make fun of her… I think you called her Molly Ringwald” Eddie sassed at him, and Richie laughed at his own joke being retold through Eddie’s exasperated half-shrieks, and he quickly let out a “oh yeah, that’s right”.

“Beverly…” Stan whispered, and both Richie and Eddie frowned as they heard the name and remembered “you mentioned the Molly Ringwald thing and it brought back a memory and… yeah, I’m nearly certain, it was Beverly, we called her Bev… she was… she was really nice” Stan sounded like he was in the midst of a nostalgia trip, and Eddie and Richie just looked at each other in mild shock.

“Beverly” they both repeated to each other.

So now they were just waiting.  Stan had been the one to throw out the idea them actually meeting up.  He’d decided to fly out to Los Angeles since he wasn’t teaching any classes for the summer semester (who would have guessed, Stan the Man was a college professor) and that maybe together, they could figure out the rest of the Loser’s names.

So Eddie and Richie waited…

And they waited some more…

“What the fuck, his flight was supposed to land goddamn two hours ago, where the fuck is it” Richie muttered impatiently, playing on his phone to try and pass the time.

“Ya know, I told Stan, I fucking TOLD him not to fly American; they are a SHIT company that makes SHITTY plans, and they always fucking wind up canceling flights because they goddamn overbook, uhuh, no, he should have gone Delta like I fucking told him” Eddie stated, giving a dissapointed shake of his head “just realize Rich that this is what happens when no one fucking listens to me”.

Richie rose both his eyebrows at him, opening his mouth in a silent ‘uh’, when suddenly, a mop of curly hair began walking towards them, waving at them excitedly.

“Holy shit” Richie muttered, Eddie still going on his tangent until Richie smacked his arm, getting Eddie to look up to see Stanely fucking Uris heading towards them.

“STAN” they both shouted in unison, running over to Stanley and both surrounding him in a hug.

“Ooooh my god, please don’t suffocate me” Stan laughed, but Eddie chose to say nothing, and Richie chose to say “bitch, it's been years since I’ve been given the opportunity to suffocate you, just embrace the fate”.

When they pulled back, they finally got a good look at Stan and he looked… good.  Like, REALLY good. He seemed confident in himself in a way he never really pulled off in his youth.  He wore an colorful looking bird themed button up, but that somehow fit his vibe, and jesus christ, he’d really grown into a tall motherfucker.

“Holy shit you’re a fucking amazonian tree, what happened” Richie shouted, pulling back to gesture at Stan’s form as Stan just smiled widely.

“I mean, Beverly did say I’d be taller” he replied, seeming somewhat embarrassed by their reaction, but Richie and Eddie just trucked on.

“Yeah, but JESUS, I kinda figured average height, you fucking bolted up there Stanely… what the fuck happened to Eddie, he’s so little-”

“OOH MY GOD, I AM AN AVERAGE FUCKING HEIGHT RICHIE, I HAVE TOLD YOU THIS” Eddie shouted, and Richie just placed a salute gesture to his own head, measuring out his height, and then moving that gesture forward to sit mockingly over Eddie’s lack of inches.

“Ahahaha, very fucking funny dick, but statistically speaking, you moving you’re hand forward was probably a very innaccurate way to measure our comparitive heights, so why don’t you take your measurement hand, and shove it up your fucking ass” Eddie growled, and Richie just smirked with a clever “Oh, you mean my usual Friday night?”

“Holy shit you two haven’t changed…” Stan muttered with a roll of his eyes, shutting both Richie and Eddie up as they turned to look at him.

“Really? I figured my jokes at least got a little better-”

“They didn’t” Eddie broke in bluntly, and Stan just let out a mild scoff at the two of them.  Were they both really still doing this same shit? All these years later?

Stan decided that they were both too sober to decide that, and figured it would be a battle for another day, so he promptly decided to drop the subject and table it for a later get together.

“Sorry, ignore me, I’m getting old and senile, why don’t we go get food or something? I assume one of you two has a good suggestion that doesn’t serve pork” Stan said with a laugh, picking his bag back up and walking towards the exit.  Richie and Eddie quickly followed.

“Fuck no, we were planning to take you to the local barbeque, obviously" Richie snickered, all the while Eddie looked at Stan nervously "Oh, Stan, before we go- don't worry, not to a barbeque, Richie's just being rude, there's someone you need to meet" Stan’s eyes rose lazily at Eddie’s statement, his eyes moving slowly between the two of them as he patiently waited for the reveal of the person he was meeting.

And to this day, it was remembered as the moment Becca met her favorite uncle.

“Holy shit you’re a tall damn tree” Becca said in shock to Stan, walking up behind him from the doorway bench she was sitting at.  Stan turned around calmly and looked at her with raised eyebrows.

“And you’re a short little shrub, look at that, isn’t height a magical concept” he replied with a calm smile, to which Becca just smirked and started giggling profusely at that.

“Wow, he’s great, I love the vibe of calming sarcasm” she said to Stan, basically ignoring Eddie and Richie now and talking strictly to Stan “I mean, they’re great and all, but Daddy is too nice to me because he’s my dad and Richie has brain damage”.

“Becca, that is so uncalled for…” well, at least it was character progression that Eddie didn’t shriek it at her.  Richie just giggled giving Stan a thumbs up and mouthing a ‘cute kid, right?’ to Stan from behind Becca’s peripheral vision.

 Stan just looked at her, his eyebrows never dropping from their raised position as he gives a slight shrug “I mean, I definitely agree that Richie has some form of brain damage…” he trailed off as Becca laughed and Richie proceeded to defend his honor.

“HEY, DON’T BOND AT MY EXPENSE, THAT’S JUST RUDE” Richie yelled, and Eddie just looked at Richie shaking his head as he muttered a quick “you two bond over my expense all the time” under his breath, fully directed at Richie, who was so caught up in his rant he didn’t even hear.

“Oh my god, please be my uncle, they are both so lame” Becca whined, to which Stan laughed in response “I mean, I used to deal with them daily for years back in middle school, so if anyone understands, it's me”.

“HEY, I am a famous comedian for christs sake, legally speaking, I’m not allowed to BE lame” Richie muttered begrudgingly, to which Stan and Becca just snickered under their breath, and Richie let out a defeated groan.

“I’m deleting your PSN account, Becca” Richie muttered, and Becca gasped “you wouldn’t dare… Uncle Stan, can I get a new PSN account”.

“Ehhhh…” Stan trailed off aimlessly in response, clearly hesitating on the idea-

“Uncle Stan will get me a new one” she gave one of her trademark smiles as she stuck her tongue out at them both, all the while Stan just shook his head and mouthed 'no', and Richie and Eddie both looked at each other in tired defeat.

The hours flew by after that.  They wound up going to this really good vegan shop a little outside of LA, everyone trying random things on the menu all the while Becca complained about the ‘importance of meat’ in a healthy diet.

“You know, if I die because I didn’t get my iron today, legally speaking I could sue” Becca grumbled, and Richie just laughed as he munched on his veggie-burger while Eddie desperately tried to correct her.

“Becca, sweetheart, I think you mean protein…” Eddie stated softly, and Becca just gave him a death glare before he whispered “or iron, I mean, I thought that was in fish, but what do I know about nutrition, I’m just a risk analyst, enjoy your denial sweetheart”. She just mockingly repeated Eddie's "enjoy your denial" before putting in hear headphones, clearly done with the conversation.

“Soo, I’m assuming you aren’t…” Stan quickly gestured at Becca to Richie, as if that would complete his sentence as he picked at his salad, to which Richie went into a mild panic mode.

“Oh uhhh, no, yeah no, Eddie got married, right Ed’s” Richie stated proudly, bumping Eddie’s shoulder as he was midbite for his sandwich.  

“Oh um, yes, but we are now divorced and I have full custody of Becca soo…” he seemed to be attempting to steer the conversation away from this topic, and while Richie was moving right along with him, Stan seemed to miss the non-verbal message.

“Oh, so wait, that's your kid, like, your biological kid, like… you married a woman and that's you're kid together, wow, um ok… I thought...” Stan got quiet and looked at Becca texting with her headphones in and not paying attention before he leaned forward to mouth “I thought you were gay…” across the table at Eddie.

To which Richie nearly froze up, and Eddie just spit what he was drinking.

“Oh uh, I um… lets just say, that topic contributed to… the EVENT” he stated, feeling really awkward discussing this in front of Becca, even in code Becca was too smart for her own good.  Stan’s eyes rose as he nodded at Eddie in understanding.

“Oh well uh, better for you to accept that bit of yourself right?  I mean, it sucks, and I would of hoped you’d have figured everything about beforehand but… in the end, it’s a good thing, ya know” Stan stated, trying to be reassuring but was clearly crashing and failing.  Richie was so busy grasping the idea that Eddie might be gay, however, that he felt as if he wasn’t even in the same room as them as his mind seemed to blue screen.

“Yeah, I suppose, but... “ he pointed at Becca, who had her headphones plugged in and wasn’t (hopefully) listening to a word they were saying “she doesn’t know… so if we were gonna discuss this, I’d rather it be” he nodded towards the door, and Richie, now back on planet earth, couldn’t help the joke opportunity.

“What, you wanna talk on the street” Richie asked, and he could see the moment Eddie’s face crumpled in annoyance, and that gave Richie only the slightest twinge of joy to witness.

“No you fucking moron, I mean… I don’t know, a bar or something… just… anywhere where my fucking daugter isn’t a milimeter away would work” he whispered at them, and both Stan and Eddie nodded in agreement.

“Nah, sorry, I just… I only brought it up because you two were together and all, and you’re kid seemed familiar with Richie so…” they both looked at Stanely like they didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about, so Stanely quickly gave a dramatic eyeroll, said a prayer that his children would never display this level of denial and stupidity, and proceeded to drop the subject.

“Anyway, bar, yeah, we’ll talk later… tonight in fact” Stan nods, and Richie and Eddie make a noise of agreement, to which Stan thought internally ‘holy shit, they even agree together, how are they not married’.

“So Stan, you got married didn’t you” Richie asked, and Stan had to internally keep himself from panicking that he’d said his previous thoughts out loud.

“Oh, uh yeah, her names Patty, she was a researcher sent to the university, and we  wound up meeting through us being assigned to work together in the science department” Stan stated, taking a quick sip of his drink.

“Wow, science and research, very sexy topics” Richie quipped, to which Eddie smacked his arm and growled “don’t be rude, their in love”.

“Yeah so, Patty and I just… we hit it off, and we got married about… two years ago now?  I think that’s right, but she’s just…” he trailed off, looking at the two of them watching him and smiling to himself “she’s great”.

“Honestly, I’m happy for you, no quips or sarcasm, I promise just… I’m genuinely happy for you Stanely” Richie said with a smile before continuing “did you also have any Mini-Stan’s we should know about, oooor….” Stanelys smile quickly dissipated as that topic was brought up.

“Oh uh, no… Patty has brought it up in the past, but its like everytime we talk, something holds me back… those… the fucking memories of us…” Stanely kept losing his sentence, but Richie understood enough.

“Yeah, the… IT, IT was the reason you never did, wasn’t it” Eddie whispered, and Stan just looked up and nodded, as Eddie mutter a quiet “fuck…”.

“Hey, come on Stan, IT’s dead, you can’t keep letting that lame ass fucking clown- sorry, I’ll work on the swearing, that really mean clown keep ruling over your life man, if you want kids with Patty, nothing should stop you, ya know” Richie rambled, and Eddie just stared at the table quietly as Stanely listened.

“I know, and honestly, I think we eventually will have kids, I just… it always gave me pause, but youre right, I mean… it has to be dead, right?”

Everyone got silent.

Except Becca apparently.

“What’s dead” she stated calmly, looking up at all of them from behind her meal and staring at them in a mixture of curiosity and confusion.

“Nothing that you need to worry about Bec, don’t worry we’re dropping it” Eddie told her firmly, giving a nod to Eddie and Stan to drop it, who didn’t even bother to question his judgement.

“Yeah Bec, we’re just talking about some things from our past, it's really nothing to-”

“You said IT, like a capital ‘I’ IT, what is IT” she asked softly, but everyone just stared at her blankly.

“Becca, please… don’t” Eddie whispered to her, and Becca narrowed her eyes at him as he asked her to drop it.

“Wow dad, I am SO sorry for asking, but it just looked like you were all on the verge of either a bonded mid-life crisis, or a panic attack, which knowing you two- not so much you Stan, because you seem actually cool, but you two, I’d put money on a panic attack before a mid-life crisis, so excuse me for worrying” she muttered harsly, putting her headphones back in her ears and Eddie yelled “BECCA”.

She was no longer listening however, so Eddie just shoved his forehead into his hands.

“You know Ed’s, if you really wanted to keep this discussion going, you could probably just pull her headphones out” Richie stated, pointing at her headphones as Eddie glared at him, but Eddie just turned away, shaking his head.

“No… I’ll… I’ll tell her, but I just… I’ll tell her eventually, in a way I know how to explain” Eddie whispered, and Richie and Stan both nodded at him, figuring that was perfectly reasonable.

“So… this plan… I want it, if it means reuniting us, but… what is that plan exactly” Stan asked in his usual calming tone, and Richie just smiled at Stanley, pulling out a notebook.

“I have a whole fucking idea Stanley, watch and learn...”.

Chapter Text

The rest of the day culminated in Richie going through his step by step process of remembering the other Loser’s.  He’d written a rough timeline of the events he could remember, as well as the list of descriptions he could pull from his memory.  Stan was less than pleased with his own description.

“Did you really only list me as tall, curly hair, and JEWISH ” Stan asked him with an irritated expression.  Richie just shrugged, moving over the table to point at the page on the notebook “Um, NO, I’ll have you know that I also listed you as being a sarcastic neatfreak, GOD Stan, you’re a college professor and you didn’t even read the whole paper-”

This was always the biggest difference between Eddie and Stan, who always shared similar senses of humor.  Where Eddie was pure ‘chaotic yelling’ energy, Stan was always more of a dry, sarcastic dick. He didn’t need to yell to get his point across, his words always made the point for him, and right now, with the look Stan was giving him in response to Richie’s quip, his point was being made.

He always figured that was why they got along so well.  Because Stan was almost a balm to Richie’s loud, overly-aggressive sense of humor.  

While with Eddie, the two of them together sort of created a nightmare combination of flame building on flame.

Maybe that’s why Stan was always rolling his eyes at them.

“Ok, so you have this list, and I see… for this kid, why did you only write ‘nerd and fat’” Stan muttered, holding up the paper to Richie who just squinted at it and readjusted his glasses.

“Uh, probably because he was a nerd and he was fat…” Richie deadpanned, and Stan just gave him the most disapproving look he could muster “wow, we were so lucky to have you as a friend with such glowing character traits, look at this one, for him you just wrote ‘stutters’ and ‘I punched him’, you really have the worst memory of anyone I’ve ever met if these are the character traits you unraveled with that tremendously large head of yours.”

“Hey… my head isn’t that large… I mean, is it Eddie” Richie asked, turning to look at Eddie who was just sitting silently in the corner of the booth, looking like he was in the midst of a PTSD flashback before the question sucked him out.

“Oh, uh, freakishly… maybe large is the wrong wording, but definitly fucking ‘defined’” Eddie threw in, covering his mouth in his hand and looking at Richie as if he was internally debating the question, all the while Richie just looked at him, flabbergasted.

“You are both SO rude, do you know that, I deserve better than these blatant attacks-”

“Richie, how did you come up with all of this” Stan asked him, looking up from the paper he was studying to look back up at Richie.  ‘Well shit’ Richie thought to himself ‘the one fucking question I didn’t wanna answer’.

“Oh, uh… ok, so I’m working on a show, like a comedic survival horror show, I have a script I’m roughing out, don’t ask about the premise, or the deeper lore, because none of those things really matter” and as Richie spoke, he mentally noted ‘and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, don’t ask to read the original script’ before continuing onward, “the whole point though, was that I was working on the script shortly after Eddie had found me on Facebook and had come here to live in LA, and I started noticing that I’d… portrayed Eddie in my script”.

They both nodded in response, taking in his statement pretty casually, which was a good sign for Richie, who most DEFINITELY didn’t want to go in depth on how Richie had essentially written the two of them in a relationship subconsciously.

“After I realized that, I started compiling this list, writing down every one of the main cast from my script, and then I started to realize that I’d accidently WRITTEN US” Richie felt his face turning red as he spoke “I noticed connections, and eventually, with Eddie’s help with the brainstorming portion, we were able to remember your name, which is how we found you on Facebook”.

“So you wrote us, the Loser’s, as the main cast of your show subconsciously before you ever even ran into us, and through  meeting up with Eddie, that was what connected the dots for you” Stan asked him, and with an exaggerated deep breath, Richie nodded, taking a long sip of his drink.

“Huh” Stan said softly, leaning back and placing the pages on the table “I wanna read it”.

Richie then choked on the sip he was drinking.

“WHAT- no, wait sorry, that sounded suspicious… like… what? It’s not finished yet and I can’t show it to anyone until I’ve smoothed out the rough edges” Richie said uncomfortably, to which Stanley narrowed his eyes.

“Richie, you just said that your story is us, so maybe if we look at the script, we can find something to trigger more memories, because full offense intended, but through reading the description of Eddie as ‘small, loud and has a fanny pack’, I literally would never have remembered Eddie…” Richie felt himself starting to hyperventilate, but quickly hid it behind a strained smile as he decided to come up with a plan.

“Fine, ok, new game plan… Eddie, you’re going to be on Beverly duty, so try and scrounge up enough memories to pull up a last name so we can look her up” Richie said to Eddie, who already started to fume.

“Bullshit, you’re gonna let STAN read the script, and you’re kicking me off to Beverly duty? To remember a girls last name with no basis, and no foundation of a memory, meanwhile you two get to read you’re shitty fucking script together, that is such bullshit” Eddie muttered, eyes flaming at Richie, who shrunk somewhat behind his glasses “what, is there something in there you’re embarrassed to tell me or something, why am I getting kicked to the sidelines and being told to meditate for someone's last name when you two both get cheat sheets”.

Richie wanted to snark back but it didn’t feel right.  Everything was too heated. This wasn’t Eddie joking; Eddie seemed to actually be offended that he was being left out, and Richie hated that he was the cause of the feeling.

“Look, Ed’s, please don’t jump down my throat about this, I’ll show it to you, I will, I promise, just… look, you’re sitting here talking to Stan about how you’re marriage ended because apparently you’re gay, and you never said anything to me about that, so let me tell you my deeply-rooted childhood memories in my own time, ok” Richie asked him softly, and Eddie still looked pissed but seemed to deflate on the mention of his sexuality “which, by the way, the you being gay thing? That was never anything you needed to hide from me Eddie, did you really think I wouldn’t want to be around you if I knew? Did you really think that of me?”

Eddie just let out a defeated breath through his nose before he pushed himself out of the booth and tapped Becca’s shoulder.

“Look, I have to go, I had a house for rent I was going to look at with Becca, and I don’t wanna be late” Eddie stated softly, eyes looking shinier than usual as Richie went into mild panic mode, not wanting to leave things like this “come on Ed’s, are you really mad at me right now, I just told you I’d show you”.

“It’s not that asshole, I just… look, we’ll talk when I get back tonight, alright Richie” Eddie said to him, not making eye contact with Richie as he spoke.

“Uhh… yeah, sure… have fun, bye Becca” Richie waved at Becca, who just scowled at them and gestured a ‘I’m watching you’ before promptly turning to follow Eddie out.  So she was clearly still pissed.

“You wrote that you were in love with him didn’t you” Stan said to Richie bluntly once they were safely out of earshot, and Richie just slumped into his chair, putting his hands over his eyes.

“It’s complicated… I wrote me and Eddie’s dynamic into the story, and our characters are a couple” Richie whispered, and Stan just nodded calmly, like that made perfect sense “that’s why you didn’t want him to see”.

“Fuck yeah that’s why I didn’t want him to see, I started writing this story a year ago, and yeah while I didn’t realize I was writing about me and Eddie, the point is that I was, and Eddie’s gonna freak the fuck out and panic, and then he’s not gonna come visit anymore, and I'm just gonna be exactly where the fuck I was prior, back to square fuckin one and I... I-” for nearly two seconds, he finally understood how Eddie must always feel.  Trying to get all the words out when you were panicking on the inside, because Richie was sure as fuck panicking. Richie felt his breaths coming out ragged as Stan got up out of the opposing seat to move himself into the seat next to him, placing a hand on Richie’s back to try and help him calm down.

“Hey, Rich… come on, I need you to breath with me ok?  You’re having a panic attack” Stan whispered gently, and Richie just muttered a choked up “fuck” as he pushed his head down and gripped at his hair roughly with his hands.

“Richie- Hey come on, stop that” Stan whispered as Richie kept trying to breath, attempting to restrain tears from falling.

“I’m so fucking stupid” he let out as a near sob, and Stan had to push back his natural reflex to roll his eyes at their blindness, because this clearly wasn’t the time.

“You’re not stupid, ok, now I want you to clear you’re head and inhale slowly through you’re nose ok, breath in for at least six seconds” Stan told him, and Richie let in a shaky breath through his nose as Stan rubbed his back reassuringly “ok, now I want you to let that breath out through your mouth, and I want you to let that exhale last for at least six seconds also, and try to relax yourself ok... you’re ok Rich, just breath”.

Richie did these things until he was finally able to think again, and Stan didn’t move from his seat when he’d finally calmed down, choosing to sit next to Richie while they calmed Richie down.  Richie eventually gave Stan a small smile once he'd relaxed enough, giving Stanley a collection of statements, usually consisting of "I'm fine now, I promise" or "I'm good, we can go" and Richie kept saying these things until Stanley was finally satisfied that he wasn't lying. Eventually Stan managed to flag the waitress down for the check, and after they’d paid, he walked with Richie outside, both of them squinting at the bright California sun.

“Hey man uh… thanks for the breathing stuff, I can’t remember the last time I had one of those...“ Richie whispered, and Stan just looked at him and shook his head.

“It’s fine Rich, we’re… Loser’s, right? We always will be…” Stanley whispered to himself, looking up at Richie as the epiphany of that statement hit him, and thewords caused Richie snap his head up in shock at the memory it triggered.

“Holy shit, you’re speech…” Richie said with a growing grin, and Stanley just smiled lightly in response.

“Yeah, my dad was so furious that day but… it was worth it though, honestly, the more I remember, the more I miss those days, even with all the clown stuff thrown in, I missed you all” Stanley said, eyes glistening from the held back tears, and Richie just pulled him into a hug “I missed you too Stan the Man…”.

Stanley chuckled at the old nickname before pulling back and following Richie to his car, the two of them climbing in and buckling their seat belts as Stan continued.

“You know, I get that you’re nervous about the whole script thing, but… you do realize Eddie’s been in love with you since you guys were kids right” Stan said to him softly, and Richie just… his hands just froze.

“What…” Richie whispered, and Stan just snorted in response.

“You two... I swear to god, you are both the densest human beings on this planet, and of course it was you two who had to fall stupidly in love with each other” Stanley said to him, and Richie felt his heart hammering out of his chest.

“He doesn’t… he doesn’t love me, he’s…” Richie felt himself shaking, but this time not from a panic attack “we’ve barely reconnected, he can’t”.

“You know what I’ve pieced together through us reuniting, all those feelings that we’d buried away when we were kids? They came back, and it almost feels like a single day hasn’t gone by since we all… shit”.

Richie kept themselves in park, not sure he trusted himself to drive right now as he finally looked up at Stan from behind his glasses, and being unable to help his sarcastic nature, he had to comment on the wording.

"Our feelings came back since we all shit" Richie asked quietly, and Stan just gave him this look that pushed Richie back into silence. Clearly this wasn't the time...

“Since we all promised to come back if that thing ever returned…” Stanley whispered in a panicked tone, and Richie just stared at him.

“Well christ, that’s a downer…” Richie whispered to himself, putting his head on the steering wheel, “but I mean, maybe it won’t come back, I mean we had to have killed it, right?”

For two seconds, he could see Stanley’s whole expression change, he looked scared, almost as scared as he did in the memory, with the woman and the teeth, mixed in with Stan's cries; him accusing them of leaving him, but Stan quickly guarded it with a small exhale and a fake smile “yeah… has to be right?”

Denial it is then.

“Anyway, not touching on the clown, the memories returned, and with them the feelings came back too, like… we all just fell back into our usual routines from the minute I saw you at the airport, and I could see you two; you were just like you’d been back in the day, and I couldn’t help but wonder if you were… I don’t know, finally together” Stan whispered to him, looking up again, his fake smile turning back into a soft, genuine one “like you’re supposed to be”.

Richie just blinked at him, and turned back to look at the street, staring ahead at the cars passing by.

“You mentioned Eddie being gay… did he tell you that” Richie asked nervously, looking back over to Stan with hesitation, and Stan just looked at him fondly.

“He didn’t need to” Stan whispered back to him, and Richie muttered a collection of quick ‘fucks’ before letting out a shaky breath and staring at the street again, leaning his head back on the seat.

“One of the first memories that came back to me when you messaged me was the day that you and I were the last ones in the clubhouse; Eddie was about to move away the next day, and you’d spilled all these confessions to me, about how you thought you loved Eddie in the 'wrong' way, and how you didn’t know what you’d do when he was gone, and then you cried for hours and hours about how you needed him to stay” Stanley said to him, and Richie was done speaking, because he couldn’t even find the words to say “do you remember what I told you that day Rich?”

“Um… ‘Richie, you’re such an annoying little shit, give me back my playing cards or I’m going to light you’re bike on fire?’” Richie asked, stuck in a spiral of trying to remember, and Stanley just rolled his eyes at him “beep beep Richie, I mean, I did say that, but that’s not the one I’m talking about, I’m being serious…”.

“Uh, ‘You stupid moron, just tell him how you feel, he’s been in love with you since the fifth grade?’” Richie asked, and Stanley gave him a small grin and a pat on the shoulder “bingo…”.

“I wanted to… I remember now, I went to his house and knocked on his window, but they’d moved early… Eddie wasn’t there” Richie said softly, and Stanley just nodded at the floorboard of the car.

“He loved you, man… and maybe I wouldn’t have been sure if he still did before, but after seeing you two together like this? And even the way you act around his daughter, I genuinely thought for the first little while of me being here that you two had actually reunited and started dating, he still loves you, I can tell” Stan said to him, and Richie let out a quick breath as he looked at Stan.

“Um, wow, I’m starting to see why you’ve always been so annoyed with us,” Richie said with a grin, and Stanley just smirked and laughed with him.

“You don’t know what it was like to watch you two dance around each other all the time, that shit was so tiring I started going gray at fourteen” Richie laughed at Stan’s response, giving him a large smirk “you always did have a grandma soul”.

“Grandma soul or not, at least I’m actually funny” Stan said to him, and Richie just gaped at him, starting the car and hitting him with an old hat that was sitting in his seat “I surround myself with bullies consistently, and I have no idea why”.

"Just... promise me that you two will talk, and I mean ACTUALLY talk, not just jump around the issue like you two always do" Stan asked Richie softly, and Richie took in a deep breath before whispering a small "I promise".

And this time, he believed he'd keep that promise.

The rest of the drive continued similarly.  The two reminisced about old memories as they pulled up to Richie’s place, both piling out of the car and heading towards Richie’s computer to pull up the script.

“Ok" Richie mumbled, nodding his head to himself as he turned to look at Stan "let's get to work".

Chapter Text

Eddie screeched on his breaks in the LA traffic as he left the rental house.  To be honest, that place was a bust.  The owners were an hour late to the tour; when they did finally arrive inside, Eddie spotted at least two moldy spots, and none of the windows opened which was just a safety hazard if we're being honest.  Eddie looked at the place for ten minutes before proceeding to grab Becca and storm out.

Now, he was here in the busy LA road, muttering PG profanities at nearly every car that drove by, while Becca just sat there silently, staring out the window in thought.

“Bec, you with me” Eddie asked her softly, and Becca just proceeded to ignore him “come on Becca, is this about earlier? Are you really giving me the silent treatment-”.

“I just don’t get why we stormed out, or why we’re even looking for a place when Richie’s place is right there-” Becca went off, speaking at a breakneck pace before Eddie was able to interrupt “Sweetie, we can’t just stay at Richie’s forever, it's not fair to him, he has his own life and he doesn’t need us crashing it forever”.

“Yeah, but he told me we could stay as long as we liked, so I assume he told you the same thing” Becca muttered, and Eddie flinched, not really sure how to answer before Becca completely abandoned the original topic to go on about something else entirely “and on top of that, all three of you are keeping shit from me, about that ‘IT’ thing”.

“Becca, please don’t say that name” Eddie whispered, eyes glaring ahead at the road as Becca narrowed her own eyes at him, leaning forward in her seat to look at her dad.

“What the fuck happened to make you this scared-”

“BECCA, WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT SAYING THAT WORD-”

“I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU KEEP TRYING TO STOP ME FROM SWEARING, BECAUSE YOU NEVER PUNISH ME FOR IT”

It became a bit of a shit show after that.  Eddie was arguing and yelling at a breakneck pace, all the while Becca, ensured by her own genetics, kept up with immaculate ease. 

“I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO MAKE YOU SO SCARED, EVEN MOM DIDN’T SCARE YOU THIS MUCH, AND SHE’S THE SCARIEST SHIT IN THE WORLD TO ME” Becca screamed, and Eddie finally had no response, turning his head back to the road and pulling the car over.  They were both breathing heavily as he stopped the car, putting it in park, and Eddie just kept a tight grip on the wheel, staring ahead at the LA interstate in front of him.

“Dad… I just, you know I get concerned and… and when I saw you like that, I just didn’t know what to think, I didn’t know if it was connected to mom, because I know everything with her made you cry the other night-”

“Becca, this thing? What you’re asking about?  It has nothing to do with your mother… I promise-”

“I just… I don’t get what could make you look so scared, and I don’t mean ‘regular you' scared, I mean actually, honest to god, terrified…” Becca pushed the words out as she stared at her dad, and Eddie finally turned his head to look at her.

“Becca… its… it's a really complicated story-”

“I’ll tell you what mom told me back in New York if you tell me about IT” Becca mumbled out, and Eddie felt his heart stop.

“Honey, I don’t want this to be a transaction… I’ll tell you about... IT, and obviously I want to know what your mom told you, but… if you’re not ready to talk about it, I can wait” Eddie told her firmly, and Becca just let out a shaky breath as she stared back out on the road.

“Nah, it isn’t fair that I’m making you pour your own traumas out at me if I’m not willing to tell you mine, besides I… I want to talk about it” Becca said softly, and Eddie nodded to her, both of them turning to stare outside the windshield, straight ahead at the road as they spoke.

“Who’s going first then…” Eddie asked, and Becca let out a nervous giggle before she spoke “I guess I’ll volunteer” Becca whispered with a steadying breath.

“The night everything happened, the night she threatened to kill herself, it started because of the letter... you know that… she panicked at the idea of joint custody because it meant she’d have less control over me” Becca let out a shaky breath before continuing “you already know she took it as a betrayal.  I told you she threatened to kill herself, which is why you picked me up from the hospital after the 911 people forced her to go” Eddie nodded as she continued.

“She said a lot of things, she asked how I could betray her like that, asked why I didn’t love her, but none of those things were that weird, because she always asked me things like that when she was throwing one of her fits” Becca’s eyes began to tear up as she shook her head slightly “she uh… when she started threatening to kill herself, saying she was going to take a bottle of pills, she… she told me that she wished I’d never been born... because of me” she was crying now, tears streaming down her cheeks as she sniffled slightly, and Eddie quickly looked at her in shock before pushing out of his seat and pulling her into a tight hug.

“I-I-shit… I’ve just… I’ve never felt so horrible” Becca bawled, and Eddie just shushed her, whispering quiet words of reassurance “I just… I know she just… just said it to make me feel horrible about myself but… but-”

“Becca, look at me…” Eddie whispered feeling tears building in his own eyes as he spoke, turning Becca’s head to face him “Bec… I cannot even imagine how that felt… but, I want you to know that it's not true in any capacity, sweetheart... you.... you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and what your mom said couldn’t be further from the truth”.

“B-but… maybe if I was-”

“Becca. No. Sweetheart, don’t do that to yourself.  You'll torture yourself trying to do that, and your mom is not worth that level of effort Becca…" Eddie whispered, looking at her fondly "sweetie, you’re a blessing” Eddie told her firmly, and that's all it took.  Becca started weeping, clutching Eddie like the world was ending, all the while Eddie just kept whispering “you’re a blessing sweetheart…”.

When Becca finally calmed down, her sobs turning into mild hiccups until she finally quieted, Eddie broke the silence, all the while not letting her go.

“When Richie, and Stan and I were kids, we were nearly killed by a… by a clown” Eddie told her, to which she looked up at Eddie with red eyes, stuck in shock “it lived in a sewer, and we called it IT because we weren’t even sure what it was, if it was even human…”.

“Dad are you… are you kidding?”

“No uh… we crawled into the sewers to fight it when we were your age, and we did… we thought we killed it” he whispered, and she nodded slowly, eyes scrunched up as she tried to comprehend it.

“The deaths got connected to this kid who tried to kill us; who bullied us relentlessly back when we were in middle school, but we knew the truth… we knew who did it” Eddie nodded, staring back at the wheel of the car.

“Dad…” Becca whispered, and Eddie looked back at her slowly “you’re the bravest person I know... you… you’re my hero dad…”

Eddie felt himself tearing up now as he pulled Becca into another hug, Becca crying with him.  He couldn’t be sure how long they stayed there like that, crying in that hug in the rental car.  All Eddie knew, was that he would do anything for Becca. Literally anything. Even that killer fucking clown couldn’t stop him from protecting her.

Eventually they separated, Eddie giving her a kiss on the forehead as he restarted the car, turning back towards the road.

“I’m so sorry she did that to you Becca…” Eddie whispered, and Becca gave a slight shrug, looking up at Eddie with a slight grin “It’s ok… I’m sorry you nearly got killed by a crazy clown”.

Eddie just giggled stupidly to himself at their situation, and Becca started to laugh with him.

“Jesus we must be related, we’re both fucking disasters” Eddie laughed, before quickly realizing he swore and covering his mouth quickly as Becca smirked.

“Holy shit, you are never stopping me from swearing ever again” Becca stated firmly, and Eddie rolled his eyes as he put the car in drive.

“Ok, I’ll bargain with you, I’ll give you a one… ONE ‘F’ card Becca, use it at your own discretion” Eddie said, groaning in annoyance as Becca squealed happily “don’t make me regret this…”.

“Don’t worry, you will” Becca said in a sing-songy tone, and Eddie just shook his head in fear, muttering a quiet “dear god…”.

They started driving back towards Richie’s, Becca smiling happily in the seat next to Eddie.

“You know, I think this was good. Very healthy.  We should plan venting drives where we just scream at each other in a car once a month, very therapeutic” Becca noted with a smile, and Eddie just shook his head, boggled at her.

“I know you two aren’t related, but jesus sometimes you remind me of Richie, you two are both the most unfunny, sarcastic shits on the planet” Eddie said with a laugh, and Becca just put her head between her hands looking at Eddie innocently “please, me and Richie are hilarious… are you two dating?”

Eddie would have spit if he’d been drinking something.

“First Stan, now you, what is with you two?”

“Dad, it’s 2012, being gay is totally normal, I mean, my favorite character in Glee is gay, and besides; I heard you and Stan talking, he said thats why you and mom divorced” she said softly and Eddie felt his heart hammering.

“Jesus of course you heard us… I’m never trusting your headphones again” Eddie stated, looking at her in mock disappointment as she giggled in response.

“Yeah, yeah, I like to spy, what can I say, sooo… you and Richie, why aren’t you two together, he seems nice, I like him a lot,” Becca said, smiling at Eddie in reassurance as Eddie sighed deeply.

“It’s not about whether I like him or not sweetheart, the point is that Richie isn’t gay” Eddie stated firmly, and Becca looked at him like he was crazy.

“I mean, are you sure about that? Did you even ask?” Becca asked him sarcastically and Eddie just looked at her, boggled.

“Sweetheart, we are dropping this subject ok? I love you, but no offense, I am not going to discuss my love life with you” Eddie stated, and Becca just rolled her eyes, turning back to the window with a smirk.

“You mean you’re lack thereof, but ok dad” she grinned, and Eddie just groaned internally “you should ask him though, I have a feeling he’ll surprise you”.

The rest of the drive went quietly as Becca turned the radio onto the most annoying pop station she could find.  The whole rest of the drive though, Becca’s words stuck with Eddie. All the touching that he and Richie never discussed, the moments where he felt like they might kiss, but didn’t.

Was he?

Eddie didn’t know… because Eddie had never asked.

When they pulled into the driveway, Becca launched out of the car, running up to the front door with a quick “love you dad” as she found the hidden key and unlocked the door, going to her room.  As he got out of his car, he watched Stan step outside the door, looking back and raising his eyes as Becca ran by him , before shrugging and walking towards his own car as he noticed Eddie.

“Hey man” Stan said to him with a grin, and Eddie smiled as he walked closer to Stanley.

“Stan! Sorry I ran off at lunch, I didn’t mean to just ditch you guys” Eddie told him, and Stan just shrugged with a small smile “It’s ok, it gave me and Richie time to talk… speaking of which, we got it” Stan said with a larger smile.

“Got… what” Eddie asked, and Stan tossed him a folded sheet of paper, which Eddie looked down at in his hand as he unfolded it slowly to see… names.

All the names.  

The name’s of the losers...

“We figured it out, Richie’s script, we figured it out” Stanley said, walking up and pulling Eddie into a relieved hug.

“Holy shit, that’s great fucking news” Eddie said, hugging Stanley back.  Stan laughed lightly, pulling back and patting Eddie’s shoulder.

“We fucking cracked it Eddie, I can’t believe we did it, but we cracked it” Stan stepped back, pulling his phone out “We’re going to look them up tonight, hopefully we can get ahold of everybody, maybe even reunite everyone, either way though, I gotta head back to my hotel, but I’ll be back tomorrow to talk more with you more about this” Stan said, moving towards his car as Eddie smiled to himself.  They did it. They actually did it.

“Nice work Stan the Man, and I didn’t really get the chance to tell you, but… it’s great to see you again dude” Eddie told him, and Stan gave him a fond smile.

“Repay me for my hard labor by talking to Richie, he… you guys need to talk, I’m not gonna say anything else just… talk to Richie, that’s how you can pay me back” Stan said with a nod and a small grin, Eddie just squinting his eyes in confusion at Stan’s words.

“Wha-”

“Don’t act dumb, and talk to Richie; I gotta go” Stan told him, rushing to his car “love you Eddie” he shouted, running towards his car as Eddie waved dumbly.

“Uh… ok... love you too” he whispered, turning and walking to the front door.  It loomed in front of him like a final boss, he hated the way he’d left things with Richie. He just hoped that Richie wouldn’t be pissed at him.

When he touched the handle however, tit launched out of his hand as the door opened.  He looked up to see Richie staring at him, a few inches taller in the doorframe, opening the door with this weird look in his eyes.

“Uh… hey Trashmouth” Eddie said awkwardly as Richie just stared at his chest, not making eye contact.

“Ed’s…” Richie whispered softly, smiling slightly as he looked up somewhat at Richie.  The two stood there for a moment, neither looking directly into eachothers eyes, simply standing a few inches apart in the doorframe.

Finally though, Eddie tried to break the silence.

“Uh, I’m sorry for getting so annoyed earlier… it… it wasn’t you, I had a lot of things on my mind  and... I was just stressed… just about house hunting, and prices, and how dirty some of these LA homes are, and on top of that I still haven’t found a new job; it was just all piling up on top of me, and then you guys talked about reading the script without me, which, I’m sure it's not shitty by the way, it was rude of me-”

Richie cut Eddie off from his quickly spoken rant, hugging him tightly and burying his head in Eddie’s neck as they embraced, and Eddie felt the words die in his throat as he hugged Richie back, desperately clinging to the embrace.

They stayed like that for god knows how long.  Eddie lost track of the time and couldn’t even bring himself to care.  All he knew was that he felt more at peace in Richie’s arms than he had in the past few years of his life.

“Ed’s…” Richie whispered, and Eddie felt his breath leave him.

“Rich” Eddie responded, pulling far enough back to look up at Richie, who was now looking at Eddie’s face with the strangest fucking look.

“I need to show you something” Richie whispered, pulling out of Eddie’s embrace, but placing a hand on Eddie’s sleeve, tugging him inside the house and pulling him down the hallway towards his room.

“Jesus Richie, if you wanted to get me to your bedroom all you had to do was ask” Eddie laughed nervously, and Jesus, he knew shit was wrong when Richie said absolutely nothing .

Richie let go of Eddie’s sleeve once they arrived to Richie’s room, and Eddie stopped in his tracks as Richie started pulling up his computer, opening up a tab and lifting himself back up, standing back and looking at Eddie.

“Richie, what-” 

“The script.  This is it, this… this is the script” Richie whispered, and Eddie stared at him, shocked by just how insecure Richie looked.  He’d never seen Richie like this, even in their childhood, he was always so confident and here…

“Rich… I don’t have to read it if it makes you feel this uncomfortable-”

“No Eddie, I want you to read it, I… I made a promise I’d show it to you, and I meant that, I want you to see it, I’m just… fuck, please just don’t hate me afterword's Ed’s” Richie whispered quietly, and Eddie felt his heart break, shaking his head slowly as he approached Richie.

“Rich-”

“Just fucking read it Eddie, please… before I lose my fucking nerve…” Richie whispered, turning towards his bed and sitting down on it, putting his head in his hands as he stared at the floor blankly, leaving Eddie to just stand there in shock.

“Shit… ok Rich, alright” Eddie whispered, moving to sit at the seat and looking at the screen for two seconds before turning back briefly towards Richie, “Rich, I just want you to know that... nothing you wrote in this script could ever make me hate you” Eddie told him, and Richie just laughed bitterly before looking up at the wall, hiding a sad smile behind his hands.

“Thanks Eddie just… just read it”.

And then Eddie did.

At first it just seemed like a typical comedic script, until he got to the part with the main couple and started reading…

Holy shit.

“You wrote us... this is... holy shit, this is us” Eddie whispered, and Richie just laughed bitterly.

“I did it subconsciously, before I even remembered you” Richie whispered, still refusing to look at Eddie as he stared firmly at the paint on the wall "I thought I was just writing characters but when you came back, I realized...".

“Richie…”

“It’s ok Ed’s, if this is weird and I just weirded you out, I understand ya know, I… I get it if you don’t want to be around as much anymore, I-”

Eddie launched himself out of the seat, moving onto the bed beside Richie and placing a hand on Richie’s cheek.

“Richie, I’m gay” Eddie stated, looking into Richie’s eyes as his breath hitched “and fuck, I’ve wanted to kiss you for god knows how long…”.

Richie just stared at him in shock, clearly braindead from Eddie’s response, so Eddie took the initiative, threading his fingers into Richie’s curls as he kissed him gently, just a brush of lips.  He got nervous and pulled back when Richie didn’t move, but as soon as they disconnected Richie looked him in the eyes with this… this fucking look, the look he’d been waiting to see his entire life, and that's when Richie gently grabbed the back of his head and kissed him back; this time with nothing but confidence.

“Fuck, Eddie…” Richie whispered, slowly transforming the kiss as he deepened it, turning his head and gently pushing his tounge into Eddie's mouth, and Eddie (who used to never kiss like this with Myra) accepted the gesture graciously, tugging at Richie’s hair gently in response.

Richie pulled Eddie down onto the bed with him, moving the hand on the back of Eddie’s head down to Eddie’s cheek to hold him, turning the kiss back into a gentle touch of lips until he finally pulled back, looking up at Eddie who started laughing like a crazy person.

“Jesus… maybe I should change my stand-up to just making out with the audience if it gets this kind of reaction, I always need more laughs” Richie quipped with a grin as Eddie just kissed his cheek, then his neck.  Eddie felt like he was riding on a high as Richie stroked his cheek gently, looking at him with so much fucking adoration.

“Fuck you dickhead, I don’t plan on fighting all the crowds in your audience just for your affections” Eddie snarked back as Richie moved in to kiss him again, moving back into a gentle kiss as he pushed Eddie's back onto the bed, pressing their bodies together.

“Shit Eddie, I think I’d pay to see that battle” Richie joked back, but the tone was different as he looked up into Eddie’s eyes.  It was spoken as a joke, but the tone portrayed something else entirely.  

“How long…” Richie whispered to him, and Eddie just stared at him in thought, eyes narrowing as he tried to think, all the while Richie moved his hand to Eddie’s neck, looking at Eddie like he strung up the stars "how long Eddie...".

“Uhh, for forever dumb ass, I thought you weren’t gay” Eddie laughed, moving his hand that was resting in Richie’s hair down to press against his chest, right in front of his heart.  Richie just took the hand he had resting on Eddie’s neck to cover Eddie’s hand on his chest, holding it gently.

“I’ve been crazy about you since we were kids Ed’s” Richie whispered, looking into Eddie’s eyes and grinning like a maniac as he pulled Eddie’s hand up to his lips to kiss it gently “I just assumed you wouldn’t be interested…” .

Eddie smacked Richie’s arm aggressively, shoving him slightly.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RICH, YOU’RE TELLING ME WE COULD HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FUCKING YEARS AGO” Eddie yelled at him as Richie laughed at him, kissing his hand again and pulling Eddie against him.

“I tried dipshit, I went to tell you before you moved away… you’re mom made you leave a day early” Richie whispered into Eddie’s ear, readjusting them to look at Eddie as they spoke, still not seperating from the embrace as they laid on the bed.

“Shit… I cried for hours on the drive because I missed you so bad...” Eddie said softly, eyes welling up lightly as he stared at Richie’s bare expression staring back at him “I hated that I never told you how I felt… I regretted it until… until I couldn’t even remember it anymore”.

“I know, I remembered you… I stayed in Derry till I was eighteen, and I wondered why you never wrote, and then I moved to LA and it just… left me, everything left me” Richie told him, smiling at him gently and reaching up to adjust his glasses before Eddie reached up with him, helping him readjust them.

“Ed’s…” Richie whispered, staring at him with that same look, and Eddie felt like he could watch Richie look at him like that for the rest of their lives.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen, you piece of fucking trash, you and I are going to go on a date, a REAL fucking date, and when we knock that out of the park, I’m going to  relationship date the ever living shit out of you to make up for lost time… I cannot believe we were so fucking stupid” Eddie said to him, pressing his forhead into Richie’s as he watched Richie blush, loving that he knew he had caused the reaction.

“Jesus Ed’s… whatever you want, anything” Richie whispered, petting Eddie’s hair with his left hand and holding Eddie’s cheek with his right as they kissed again before being shouted at from the doorway.

“HOLY FUCK YOU TWO ARE DISGUSTING, ABOUT FUCKING TIME THOUGH, JESUS CHRIST” Becca shrieked, and Eddie lifted his head from Richie’s in a look that could only be described as ‘pure annoyance’.

“I GAVE YOU ONE PASS BECCA, ONE PASS, THAT WAS TWO TIMES” he shouted back while Richie giggled beside him, covering his mouth with his hand to hide his laughter as Eddie looked at him in irritation “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING AT, DICKHEAD, YOU’LL EGG HER ON”.

“Hi Becca, how was the house hunting” Richie yelled, and Becca just scowled, yelling back “it sucked”.

“Fantastic news, just stay here then...” Richie smirked, turning to Eddie with a sly grin as he just rolled his eyes “Fine... I guess we can stay a bit longer”.

Chapter Text

Richie was thirteen again, just leaving Eddie’s house after finding out his mom had taken them early.  He crashed his bike on the side of the road, not even bothering to get up as he felt tears leaking down his cheeks.  He wanted to hate himself for being so weak, but he found that he didn’t even have the ability to care. What was the point, right?

He hated how weak Eddie made him.  He tried to think about what it would be like to live the next few years without him, but as soon as the thought slipped his mind, the tears got worse and he could hear his own muffled cries in the back of his mind.

“Richie” he heard a familiar voice whisper, and Richie’s head shot up quickly as he saw…

“EDDIE” he shouted, lifting himself off the ground, all dirty and battered from the fall, sprinting over to where Eddie stood and pulling him into a hug, his bike completely abandoned in the ditch.

“Hiya Rich” Eddie whispered to him kindly, hugging him back as Richie cried into his shoulder.

“Fuck, I thought you’d left… I… I didn’t want you to leave without talking to you first, I couldn’t handle it-”

“Anything Richie, what’s up” Eddie asked, looking interested to listen.  Richie briefly felt a slight bit of shock at how unsarcastic Eddie was being, but he figured maybe Ed’s was just caught off guard by how torn up Richie must have seemed.

“Ed’s, I think- you know how Ben is in love with Beverly and its so fucking obvious, but you know, it makes sense I guess, and how he’d vent to us constantly about how he feels, and how torn he is constantly, not knowing whether she’s even interested, or if she could ever even like him, and-”

“Hey, Rich, calm down, you’re rambling” Eddie told him, putting his unbroken hand on Richie’s shoulder and looking at him with so much fucking patience, Richie nearly lost his breath as his heart stuttered.

“I… I feel that, what Ben feels, all the fucking time, but I don’t feel it for Beverly, or for any other girl in this stupid fucking town, I feel it…” Richie let in a breath quickly, it was now or never “I feel it for you Eddie, I know its weird, and fucked up maybe, but I feel it for you”.

Eddie stared at him for a moment, and Richie held his breath, desperately waiting for anything Eddie was willing to give.

“That’s disgusting Richie, are you saying you’re in LOVE with me” Eddie muttered softly, his voice speaking uncharacteristically slow.  Richie felt the tears building again.

“I don’t even know what to say, what the fuck Richie, what the fuck is wrong with you”.

Richie felt himself backing up in fear, the tears moving down his cheeks silently as he stepped towards his fallen bike.

“You’re not Eddie”.

That’s when Eddie’s eyes changed and he grinned in the most sardonic way, his face making an expression that Richie knew would never rest on Eddie’s.  A knife slipped into Eddie’s hand as he started stepping towards Richie slowly, acting like he had nothing but time.

“What gave it away Rich” IT’s voice whispered, not even bothering to change his appearance.  Wearing Eddie’s face.

“Y-You let me hug you, you never yelled at me for getting you dirty… and… and Eddie would never say those things to me” Richie whispered, picking up his bike desperately as he tried to flee before Eddie was suddenly there, holding the handle bars to prevent him from moving.

“You seem so sure that Ed’s wouldn’t say those things, but I knooooow the truth Richie” IT taunted him, saying the words in a sing songy voice “I’ve seen all of your filthy little lives, I know all of you’re dirty little secrets”.

“You’re supposed to be dead” Richie muttered, shaking his head at Eddie’s- IT’s face “this can’t be real, we killed you, you fucking dissentegrated back in the sewers, we watched you die”.

Eddie said nothing as he lifted the knife, and Richie quickly realized he was dreaming when the knife hit and-

Richie awoke with a start, breathing heavily as he launched himself up, putting his hands on his face and feeling how sweaty he was.  He couldn’t see anything. His glasses were on the nightstand and it was so dark, it’d be hard to see even with good eyesight.  

He then felt a hand gently touch his shoulder as he launched forward, nearly falling out of the bed as the hand gripped him calmly.

“Richie” it was Eddie… Eddie said his name calmly and Richie felt relief slam him like a fucking title wave.

“Shit, sorry Ed’s, I… we must have fallen asleep, I was just having a bad dream, I didn’t mean to wake you” Richie whispered, still shaking slightly from the feeling of being stabbed within the dream.  He couldn’t see Eddie, but the touch of Eddie’s hand on his shoulder reassured him that he was there.

After they quit being stupid, they’d talked for hours about their mishandled crushes.  Eventually, they wound up just watching TV shows together until Eddie had finally fallen asleep, and Richie followed not long after.

Until he’d been blasted back into conciousness by nightmares of horrific fucking clowns.

He rubbed his eyes as he felt pressure place itself on his shoulder, resting near the crook of his neck.  He knew it was Eddie, it had to be, even though he couldn’t see.

“You must have had a nightmare, you feel fucking disgusting, you’re all sweaty” Eddie stated quietly, and Richie let out a small laugh as he lifted his hand to hold the arm that was now wrapped around him, lying gently across Richie’s chest to hold Richie close.

“Wow Eddie, you sure know how to make a guy feel good” Richie said back, though it was quiet and half-hearted, which led Eddie to lift his head up from Richie’s shoulder and kiss his cheek gently.

“I’m joking dickhead, obviously I’m joking… well partly” Eddie said to him as Richie exhaled shakily “if you were fresh out of the gym or something, I’d probably throw a tantrum, but…”.

Richie smirked as he clutched Eddie’s arm tighter.

“Bold of you to assume I go to the gym Ed’s” Richie stated, and Eddie just laughed and moved the hand further down his chest to wrap around his front, placing his head back on Richie’s shoulder and turning his head towards Richie’s.

“Shit, you’re right, how could I forget your core character trait...  that you’re a lazy sack of shit” Eddie said, but there was no heat behind the words as they both sat there in the darkened room smiling.  Eventually they both quieted, and Richie’s smile fell as Eddie finally broke that silence.

“Do you wanna talk about it Richie” Eddie whispered, and Richie just shook his head slightly, staring off at the blurred TV in front of his bed.

“I uh… it didn’t actually happen, because ‘IT’ was already dead, but I had a nightmare that he turned into you after you’d moved and… and I confessed to you just for you to say all kinds of shit that I know you’d never say” he whispered, and he felt Eddie nod on his shoulder as he placed a gentle kiss on his neck.

“Richie...”

“I know, Eddie...  I knew it wasn’t you.  I told IT that you’d never say those things to me” Richie murmured, and Eddie leaned his head over to look at Richie, gently rubbing his arm as Richie gripped his arm tighter.

“You better know that asshole, we only just started dating like seven hours ago, I’d hate for us to already be fighting” Eddie joked, and Richie smiled in response “Ed’s, we’re always fighting, I don’t know if that should be the go-to goal of this relationship”.

“We do not always fight” Eddie scoffed, pulling out of Richie’s grip to cross his arms stubbornly as Richie smirked, shaking his head.

“Eddie, you do realize that we are literally fighting right now over whether or not we fight all the time, right?”

Eddie’s eyes narrowed as he thought on this, head moving to look down at the bed as his mouth fell open from a lack of response.

Knowing Eddie though, it never takes long for a response to be found.

“This isn’t- IT DOESN’T COUNT DICKHEAD, this is… an argument” Eddie stated proudly, smirking as Richie just raised an eyebrow in response, “I don’t get it, what’s the difference between arguing and fighting?”

Eddie scoffed at him, playfully hitting his arm “arguing is… ok, so you know how there’s like… bar fighting and then there’s like… professional MMA fighting with regulations and shit?”

Richie just stared blankly at him so Eddie continued onward.

“Ok, so like, arguing is like the MMA shit, where they fight and stuff but its all for the sport of fighting, and nobody actually hates each other afterwards… at least usually, and bar fighting is like regular fighting, where you’re actually aiming to kill the other person and there's no rules or regulations” Eddie speed spoke through his little speech, all the while Richie just narrowed his eyes at him in confusion.

“Wait so… ok, the little tantrum you had then? About me comparing Bec to a fucking cat? Right? You are never allowed to use that as an argument against me again if THAT was your proud fucking comparison to arguing and FIGHTING, I’m still trying to comprehend you’re lecture” Richie said finally, a laugh leaving his mouth afterwards involuntarily all the while Eddie just grabbed a pillow and hit him with it.

“IT MAKES MORE SENSE THAN YOUR CAT SHIT, YOU FUCKING DICK” he yelled with a raised voice as Richie panicked and shushed him quickly so he wouldn’t wake Becca, jokingly moving a hand to cover Eddie’s mouth.

“Holy fuck sorry…” he whispered through Richie’s hand, and Richie just started laughing at Eddie as he uncovered Eddie’s mouth to see him smiling widely.

“Holy shit I always forget how fucking loud you are Spaghetti” Richie smirked, and Eddie’s face went red from a mixture of annoyance and embarrassement.

“Ok prick, I might be able to cope with you calling me Ed’s, but I swear to god if you start trying to normalize ‘spaghetti’ as a nickname, then you can start marking this as your shortest relationship of all time, because I will fucking dump you” he said sarcastically, shaking his head as Richie kept laughing at him, moving his hand up to pinch Eddie’s cheek gently, pulling him closer with his other hand.

“How can I not say it when it gets you blushing like that?”

“Stop-”

“My little Spaghetti, cute as a button-”

“Holy SHIT I hate you” Eddie grumbled, somehow more red than when he started as Richie wrapped him up in his arms, pulling him back down to lay on the bed as he buried his nose in Eddie’s hair.  He could smell Eddie’s expensive shampoo, completely reveling in the feeling of having Eddie in his arms.

Things got quiet for a moment as they laid there, until eventually Eddie broke the silence.

“Did you want me to sleep on the couch? I know that’s where I’ve normally slept, and I know we’ve not been dating more than a few hours if this is wei-”

Richie didn’t let him finish as he had his right arm wrapped around Eddie, turned on his side to look at Eddie’s face.  He was blurry, just like everything else was without his glasses, but Richie knew he had to still look absolutely precious.

“Nah Eduardo, I didn’t crush over your dumbass for twenty-something years just for us to start dating and for you to leave me for that ugly fucking couch, no way, you are more than welcome to stay right here” he said, and Eddie smiled back at him, moving in to kiss him gently as Richie pulled him closer.

“Well shit, if you insist,” Eddie said back, kissing Richie one last time before pushing his head to rest on Eddie’s chest, closing his eyes gently as Richie moved a hand up to stroke Eddie’s hair.

“Night Trashmouth” Eddie whispered, and Richie just smiled fondly, closing his own eyes as he took one last blurred look at Eddie.

“Night Eduardo” he whispered before realizing that Eddie must have already fallen back asleep.  He played with Eddie’s hair a moment longer before placing a hand on Eddie’s neck, still amazed that he got the chance to do this.

“I love you, you fucking dick…” he whispered the words out and got no response.  He never expected one to begin with anyway though.

They stayed like that until the morning finally hit, sleeping soundly throughout the rest of the night until-

Bvvvvvth… Bvvvvvvth…

“Fuck me” Richie growled, eyes flashing open as he realized it was his phone going off.  He desperately grabbed for it, unable to fully see it until he felt Eddie reach over him and grab it off the nightstand, handing it to him.

“Thank’s Ed’s” he whispered before answering the phone, immediately greeted by his high-pitched manager.

“You left me on nearly five fucking rings Tozier, you must be asking to die” Regina growled at him as he let out a small laugh.

“Always good to hear from you, Regina, never NOT the highlight of my day when you call to darken my doorstep” he muttered.

“Fuck you, you’re doing a show in LA next Tuesday night” Regina muttered, shuffling with something in the background as Richie sat up from the bed.

“The fuck? You really didn’t even ask me first?”

“No, I didn’t fucking ask you Tozier, I gave you your two weeks, I assume things have settled in for your friend, and now I’m asking you to perform this show” she told him, matter-of-factly “I know you don’t care about marketing statistics, or social media attention, so I’ll spare you the boring math, but you’re last show was trending, and we need to milk that for what its worth while the public still has its eye on you, you know, while you still have peoples attention”.

“Goddamnit… fine, whatever, next week on Tuesday you said, right?” Richie grumbled, wiping the sleep from his eyes in irritation.  He didn’t even know what time it was.

“Yes.  Nine o’clock sharp, and you better not show up late or drunk; I swear I’m not going to play babysitter for you that night…” she stated, before pausing and remembering her afterthought “oh, and we have new material for you that I emailed to you this morning, so make sure you know it by performance time that night.''

“You really are an evil old bitch, aren’t you” Richie said with an annoyed laugh.

“If I were pure evil I’d hang up the phone right now with my usual ‘fuck off’ but Rich, I also wanted to tell you I pulled some strings, and while the station doesn’t want you for the part you auditioned for a few weeks ago, I told them about your script” Regina stated softly, trying her best to not sound like a complete asshole “they liked you’re humor, so they asked for me to send them a copy, so I did”.

Richie felt his heart stop.

“Fuck uh, ok… and…?”

“And they loved it,” she told him, and if Richie didn’t know her better he’d have guessed she was smiling “they wanna pick you up for a season, obviously the budget will be small, and of course we’ll have to see how it does with audiences but… they like it Rich, and if you’re ok with it, they want to give it a go”.

Richie put a hand over his mouth in shock as he began to laugh hysterically, still in complete fucking shock.  He didn’t even know what to say. He was just so fucking happy.

“Jesus Christ Regina, thank you, I don’t even know what to say-”

“Don’t say anything, show up for your stand up on Tuesday, and fuck off. I’ll send you the address” she was back to her usual angry tone, promptly choosing to hang up the phone immediately after her standard ‘goodbye’ statement, but Richie couldn’t even find it in himself to care, he was full-on smiling, literally unable to contain himself.

He turned around to look at Eddie, who was laying there staring at him in what Richie thought to be shock (he still couldn’t see very well).  He quickly reached for his glasses, stumbling to pick them up as Eddie once again reached over and handed it to him, all the while Richie’s smile never left his face.

“Thanks again Ed’s, to be honest I don’t know how I ever survived without you here to help me find things while I’m blind” he smirked, and Eddie just grinned at him.

“The power of alcoholism carried you through I’m sure” Eddie snarked back, but refusing to give Richie a chance to turn this into a sarcasm-fest, he continued onward “what happened, you look like you got good news”.

“The uhh, the channel, AMC, they wanna give my show a shot” Richie grinned, shaking Eddie’s shoulder in excitement, “you know, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, and they want my script Eddie, they liked it, they want a season” Eddie’s eyes lit up as he wrapped Richie in a hug, pulling him in.

“Holy fuck Richie, that’s HUGE, I’m so happy for you” Eddie grinned, pushing his head in the crook of Richie’s neck as Richie closed his eyes and just allowed himself to be happy.  To enjoy this moment.

“For a while there I was scared it was bad, you and your manager talk like she’s a step away from firing you” Eddie mused, thinking back to all the swearing between them as Richie snorted in response.

“Oh that? Yeah nah, she’s just a mean old bitch, but… she’s really been there for me throughout my career, and even with all the ghost writing and the shitty performances, she really fucking believes in me… she always has” Richie said with a small smile.  She was never fully on board with the ghost writing anyway, but in the end she was a committee person, and Richie was lazy enough about his standup to allow it to happen. Eddie just smiled up at him, sitting up from the bed and kissing Richie gently.

“She sounds great, I hope I get to meet her” Eddie smiled, and Richie felt his heart stop a bit as he thought about the thing he’d chosen not to think about considering he never actually believed Eddie would like him back.

“Oh uh… she doesn’t know I’m gay…” Richie whispered, and Eddie’s face fell somewhat at that realization.

“Oh… sorry, I didn’t mean to just assume… shit, of course she doesn’t though, she’s the one who greenlights all your standup, isn’t she” Eddie asked softly, and Richie just nodded as Eddie let out a small exhale.

“Well, that’s ok, she sounded rude anyway, we probably would have wound up fighting” Eddie shrugged as he lifted himself out of the bed, pushing himself onto his feet.

“Ed’s…” Richie whispered, following after him all the while feeling like pure shit.  Eddie just turned around and placed a hand gently on Richie’s cheek.

“Richie, it’s fine… you let me come out to you in my own time, I’ll let you come out in yours” Eddie said with a reassuring smile, as patient as he always was, and Richie just covered Eddie’s hand in his own.

“I will come out to them Eddie, I will, I just need to come up with a gameplan” Richie said softly, and Eddie kneeled down in front of Richie and smiled.

“It’s fine you dick, besides we have more important things to worry about right now anyway, Stan’s coming over remember?  We’re finally going to find the other losers” Eddie said, his face wide with excitement as Richie smiled in response.

“Fuck yeah we are”.

Chapter Text

“So, did any of them accept the request” Stan asked Richie, sitting on the loveseat next to the main couch, mainly just watching Richie and Eddie as they looked down at the laptop.  Becca was sitting on the floor, screaming at her friend from Santa Monica in GTA.

“JAMES, YOU PIECE OF SHIT, WE HAVE RUN THIS MISSION LIKE FIFTEEN DAMN TIMES, IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE FLYING THE PLANE, THEN CHANGE ROLES AND GIVE IT TO SOMEONE WHO CAN-”

If Eddie hadn’t been so concentrated on the other Loser’s, he probably would have been in the middle of a heart attack over the whole ‘James’ thing, but he decided to worry about the bigger problems right now, putting Becca’s troublemaking potential new ‘boyfriend’ on the backburner.

Besides, if he worried about it vocally, Richie would tease him for being a ‘standard romcom dad’ relentlessly.

“Uhh, does Bec always scream like that” Stan asked worriedly, and Eddie just let out a long sigh as he rubbed his temples with one hand, his other hand moving to support his arm, resting across his chest.  Richie just smirked and patted Eddie on the back, more as a joke than any form of actual reassurance.

“She’s Eddie if Eddie wasn’t a complete hypochondriac, so you can imagine what that’s like” Richie stated, and Stan’s eyes just widened as he responded “oh god…”.

“CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET BACK TO THE MATTER AT HAND” Eddie said, his voice raised by a few decibels as he quit rubbing his temple to gesture wildly with his hands at the computer.

“Awww Eddie, come on, we’re just teasing you” Richie cooed, moving the hand on Eddie’s back to pet Eddie’s hair lovingly as Eddie let out an annoyed groan.  Stan just watched them and smiled, choosing not to comment.

“Yeah, sorry Ed’s, uh Rich, did they answer?”

“It looks like… no answer from Bill yet, I haven’t been able to find Bev, but… SHIT, WE GOT MIKE AND BEN” Richie said excitedly, and Stan kneeled his head forward and grinned to himself while Eddie celebrated with Richie.

“Holy shit, are you sure that’s Ben” Eddie asked, taking a closer look at the profile picture in shock “I mean, jesus, he’s buff as shit”.

“Yeah, I noticed that, and hellooo look at those abs” Richie said, clicking on a swimsuit photo of Ben on his facebook page “absolutely stunning” Richie grinned at the screen as Eddie glared at him, hitting him lightly on the shoulder.

“Are you trying to make me jealous dickhead” Eddie smirked, and Richie just smiled up at him “is it working?”

“Ok, enough you two, I swear I thought you’d be less unbearable when you finally hooked up, but jesus this is almost worse” Stan groaned, shaking his head “you two are actually sickeningly sweet”.  Richie just laughed at Stan’s irritation, ruffling up Eddie’s hair and moving up to kiss his cheek as Eddie scowled.

“You did this to yourself Stanley, it’s not my fault that Eddie is too cute to be ignored-”

“I fucking hate you Richie-”

“Cute, cute cuuute, precious Eduardo” Richie was pulling Eddie into his chest, nuzzling him playfully as Eddie just looked at Stan in an attempt to convey his annoyance “I’m sorry I made you jealous, but come on, look at that chest Eddie, you gotta admit Ben is hot”.

Eddie looked at the screen, observing carefully before finally nodding his head in mutual agreement.

“Ok, yeah, Ben is definitely gorgeous, I can’t mock art”.

“OK, THAT’S ENOUGH… SO, Ben added us and he has abs now, great news, moving forward; you said Mike accepted too, has he messaged us yet” Stan asked, hands ruffling through his own hair as he tried to push down his annoyed frustration with the two morons getting distracted by their old friends abs.

“Uhh… holy shit, he has” Richie said, opening up the message tab and reading the text.

Jesus, hi Richie, holy shit… it’s earlier than I expected, I can’t believe you remembered me, I can’t fucking believe it, how the fuck did you remember me?

Richie’s eyebrows shot up at the response, while Eddie’s eyes narrowed at the screen.  Richie nervously readjusted his glasses.

“He uh… he’s shocked that we remember him,” Richie said, looking up at Stan who looked just as confused as he lifted himself from the loveseat, moving towards the couch.

“Scoot over, I want to read to” Stan said, and Richie and Eddie moved only about a small inch as Stan just glared at them “gee, thanks, glad you two are such pals”.

“Only for you Stanley” Richie smirked as he began typing a response, not even looking up from the computer.

Eddie found me.  He remembered my name and looked me up.  Everything else we’ve pieced together bit by bit.  What do you mean how do we remember you? 

Richie laced his fingers and rested his chin on top of them, staring intently at the screen as he waited for a response.

“Did he know?  He seems like he knew we’d forget, how on earth would he know” Stanley asked, practically talking to himself as he looked down at the chat.

“Do you really think we’d be asking him if we knew the answer to that Stan” Eddie jabbed, and Stan just glared at him with a look that could probably be capable of killing a man.  

“Wow Eddie, fair point, and here I thought we were just asking for the hell of it, you know, a precursor to asking about the weather, you’ve truly outwitted me, because I was totally ASKING YOU and not commenting to myse-”

“Guys, shut up, he answered” Richie whispered, looking down at the wall of text.

Holy fuck… I’ve missed you all so much.  I didn’t expect you to remember until I contacted you.  Everyone who leaves Derry forgets. If you remembered me and the others, I’m going to assume you remember IT.  When people leave Derry, IT’s reach follows you, and the further away you get, the less you remember. I bet you all forgot about your scars too?  We all have one. On our hands. I still remember everything because I’m still here. In Derry. I sometimes thought about calling to check in but I didn’t want to scare you all off.

Richie nervously played with his glasses as they all read through the message, Stan shaking his head.

“Scare us off… scare us off from what” Stan whispered, fear finally trickling into his voice.

“Scare us off from coming back” Eddie murmured, looking down at the scar on his hand as Richie looked up at him.  Stan stared at them both in shock, mouth hanging open somewhat. Richie felt the fear coming back as he looked back at the computer, once again typing a response.

Mikey, IT’s not back is it?

They all waited there for what felt like an eternity.

No. But it will be. I’m sorry.

They all felt their hearts drop.

“Shit, it’s gonna come back, it’s… fuck, I can’t do it, I can’t fucking face that thing again, I can’t fucking do it” Stan started mumbling, standing up off the couch with a wild look in his eyes as Richie shot up off the couch, now attracting the attention of Becca who was turned to look at them, eyes narrowed slightly.

“Stanley, it’s ok-”

“No it’s NOT fucking OK, he’s gonna want us to go back. To fight IT again” Stanley whispered, shaking his head in fear as he backed up towards the wall, resting against it before sliding down to the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees “I can’t Richie, I just, I fucking can’t-”

“Hey, jesus Stanley, it’ll be ok, I mean come on, how can he be sure-”

“Hang on, my elderly parents are having panic attacks, I’ll be right back” Becca whispered to James on the mic, taking it off and getting up off the floor to walk towards her dad, who was still seated and staring blankly at the wall while Richie tried to calm down Stanley.

“What happened” she whispered, tone completely serious as Eddie looked up at her.

“Mike seems to think IT’s not dead… the clown” Eddie mumbled, and Becca’s eyebrows shot up.

“The demon one that traumatized you as a kid” Becca asked, and Eddie just looked at her and nodded slowly as she exhaled nervously "holy shit."

“STAN, GET A FUCKING GRIP MAN” Richie shouted, putting both his hands on Stan’s shoulders and shaking him slightly as Stan began to lose his breath.  Eddie folded his hands in front of his mouth as he watched them, not even sure what to say when suddenly, the computer blinked.

“Fuck, he must have responded… Eddie, what does it say” Richie asked, not leaving Stan’s side as Stan gasped for breath.

“Uhh… let me look” Eddie said slowly, reading down the text slowly.

“I think IT will come back, but not for another five years at least.  Please don’t panic. I’ve been in Derry all this time studying this thing, and... I know how to kill IT” Eddie read, looking up at Richie who stared at Eddie in shock.

“He… he figured it out” Richie whispered in shock and Eddie just smiled and nodded as Richie looked back at Stan and yanked him up.

“HE FIGURED OUT HOW TO KILL IT STAN, WE’RE NOT GONNA DIE” he cheered, pulling Stanley into a tight hug as Stan just exhaled nervously.

“Gee, great” he said half-heartedly, and Eddie just grinned at them, looking relieved that it wouldn’t be a complete death sentence, though Stan’s face still remained blank as he stared off at the wall.  Richie noticed Stan’s nerve-wracked expression though and quickly pulled him in for another hug.

“Stan, it's gonna be ok man” Richie whispered as Eddie walked closer, putting a hand reassuringly on Stanley’s shoulder.

“I don’t wanna go back…” Stan whispered quietly, burying his head in Richie’s shoulder as he held him.  Eddie quickly wrapped his arms around the two of them, trying to help calm Stanley down.

“Stan, he can’t know for sure, we might not even have to go back but… but if we did, if we ever did get that call, you have to know that we'd be there for you every step of the way, right” Stan saw flashes of the woman with teeth as Richie spoke to him and shook his head in fear.  

“We’d never let anything happen to you Stanley” Eddie joined in, laying his head on Stan’s shoulders as he held them both in a tight hug.  Stan let out a long sigh, attempting to get a grip on himself as he nodded into Richie.

“Ok…” Stan whispered softly, and Eddie and Richie looked up, smiling at each other as Stan finally seemed to calm down.  Eddie was the first to pull away, moving back towards Becca and the computer.

“I should probably respond to Mike before he thinks we all jumped out a window or something” Eddie said half-heartedly, and Stan slowly pulled away from Richie’s hug, rubbing his arm awkwardly.

“I still don’t think I can do it but… but I trust you both.  As weird as that sounds considering we haven’t spoken in so long, I trust you both more than I trust anyone else in my life, so...” he said to Richie, who just gave him a genuine smile.

“We won’t let you down Stan, and shit, if things ever get to fucked up, we’re adults with cars, we can always just bail as a trio” Richie jokes, and while Stan smiled, the smile didn’t reach his eyes “we made a promise to Bill, so no, we can’t but… it’s a nice thought” Stan whispered, and Richie opened his mouth to say something before being interrupted by-

“GUYS, MIKEY HAS EVERYONE’S PHONE NUMBERS” Eddie yelled, and Becca flinched at his shout before shouting herself “COULD YOU STOP SCREAMING, WE CAN CLEARLY ALL HEAR YOU, YOU TALK VERY LOUD”.

Eddie gave her a sour look as Becca smirked and shrugged, walking over to Stanley and pulling at his shirt to get his attention.

“Are you ok Uncle Stan” she asked him, and he just smiled at her and nodded.

“Yeah Beccy, I’ll be fine” Stan whispered, ruffling her hair in reassurance. Stan had taken to calling Becca ‘Beccy’, and surprisingly, Becca hadn’t killed him for it yet.  Then again though, Eddie had a sneaking suspicion that Stan was her favorite, so he doubted she’d kill Stan for anything.

“That’s good, because I didn’t want to lose another family member to the loony bin” she said with a shrug, and Stan just stared at her uncomfortable “uh, what do you mean another-”

“DAD, can you take me to Jame’s house, I’m gonna help them work on their game tonight” she said with a grin, and Eddie just gave a long sigh and closed his eyes in a moment of silent prayer and meditation “sure sweetheart, just promise me that his mom will be home, and that you’ll kill him if he tries any funny business”.

“You already know I will, I even have my knife in case anyone tries anything funny” she smirked, pulling out a small pocket knife that also doubled as a bottle opener.

“HOLY SHIT, WHERE DID YOU GET A KNIFE” Eddie shrieked and Becca just grinned cutely “I stole it!”

“STOLE IT FROM WHO-”

“Oh shit Bec, do you have my old bottle opener slash stabbing device? Did you steal that? Oh my god, if you stole that, I am so proud of you! Finally stealing your first knife” Richie yelled excitedly running over and hugging Becca as Eddie gaped at them.

“Oh my god, if I have a heart attack Bec, I want you to know it’s your fault but… ok, get your care bear backpack and hide the knife in there, I want someone stabbed if they try any weird shit” Eddie grumbled as Becca just smirked, running to go get her bag. Stan just stared at them all as if they were insane.

“You guys message Mikey about the other Loser’s, maybe he can call and we can arrange a meetup or something, OH and Richie” Eddie said, walking over to where Richie stood next to Stan before kissing him lightly as Richie just stood there in shock “pick somewhere nice tonight for our date, and I swear to god if you pick anywhere not up to my cleanliness standards, I’m dumping you for Ben” Richie just stood there in shock with a lopsided grin on his face, nodding quickly.

“Sir yes sir, and honestly Ed’s, if you left me for Ben, I wouldn’t even be mad, I’d leave me for Ben too” he smirked as Eddie just shook his head in annoyance, giving him one last kiss on the cheek.

“Don’t downplay yourself you dick, I’m kidding.  I’d leave you for no lower than Hugh Jackman himself” Eddie finally said as Becca ran back up with her backpack and her ‘Big Book of Computer Coding’, her newest niche interest that she actually seemed to have a knack for.

“Ed’s, if you didn’t leave me for Hugh Jackman, I’d honestly be concerned” he smirked as Eddie smiled back at him shyly.  Richie gave a small salute to Eddie as Becca turned around quickly, as if she forgot something, and quickly beelined for Richie and Stan.

“Bye Uncle Stan, bye Richie” she said, giving them both a quick hug before walking back towards Eddie.

“HEY, WHY IS HE UNCLE STAN, AND I’M JUST RICHIE” Rich yelled at her in annoyance, and Becca just turned her head back at him and gave him the most shit-eating grin “I can’t call my soon to be step-dad UNCLE, Richie, that’s just weird… LOVE YOU” Becca shouted as Eddie just yelled a brief ‘BECCA’ in flabbergasted horror.  He turned around and mouthed a sorry at Richie and Stan before following her out the door but Richie was just stuck there with a stupid grin on his face.

In this moment,  he honestly thought he couldn’t be happier.

Chapter Text

Once Mike had called the other loser’s, a group chat was soon formed by Richie, who wanted everyone to be able to discuss everything as a collective.  He really wondered the worst for the way Mike had been handling the situation. Mike seemed to have spent the past twenty years studying ‘IT’, but because of that he had stated that he had never truly forgotten.  He’s kept up with everyone in the Loser’s, frequently checking on their status, keeping a record of their phone numbers through the years. To Mike’s relief, Richie only made two jokes about the creepiness of stalking people's lives and phone numbers.

I mean, all I’m saying dude is that calling my manager and saying you were hired to drive me to my Orlando show to get my phone number??? Just a little freaky man - RT

What else did you expect me to do Richie, send an IT signal to the skies and summon you here with the power of will? - MH

You’re the one doing freaky ancient rituals in the woods, you tell me. -RT

Richie eventually decided to ask the hard hitting questions, all of this prior to the other loser’s joining the chat.  Richie still wondered about Mike’s original intentions.

So you were just gonna let us all live our lives, all the while you sat here by yourself miserable? - RT

It’s not that simple man.  I was scared that if I said too much, or reconnected before I had a solid theory of how to kill IT, that you wouldn’t want to come back.  And you wouldn’t want to talk to me. Besides, you would have eventually just forgotten me again. Distance does that. -MH

But we could have figured something out.  Set up monthly reminder notifications ‘hey, don’t forget about one of your old best friends Mike Hanlon, he’s being a self-sacrificial dickhead down in Derry, Maine, remember? You lived there!’ I think a message along those lines once a month could have done the trick - RT

I don’t know.  Maybe we could have found something.  I guess I was scared of the idea of you forgetting me over and over.  It hurt so much the first time that I didn’t want to keep enduring that every single time we reconnected again.  And understand, I don’t blame you all. I just blame this clown and this god-awful town. - MH

But I haven’t forgotten Eddie or Stan, so maybe after the first reminder it sticks? -RT

That’s because you’re all in California together, seeing each other regularly, am I wrong?  If you were to leave and not communicate regularly, you’d forget each other again. -MH

Needless to say, the realization that distance would cause them to slowly forget made his heart drop.  He’d felt happier than he had in fucking years being able to talk to everyone again, and to have Eddie.  Like REALLY have Eddie, in the way he always wanted. The idea of him losing that because of this… affliction?  It made Richie want to vomit.

He couldn’t let that happen again.

How soon can we kill the clown then? - RT

If our original calculations were correct, and due to Derry’s history, I have a lot of reason to believe it's right, five years, give or take. - MH

Well let me know the minute it crawls out of its clown hole.  Do you think killing ‘IT’ would allow us to remember everything without all of the extra bullshit? - RT

I don’t know, but it's highly possible yeah - MH

Ok.  And you have a way to kill it, your freaky tribal ritual - RT

Unknown to Richie, Mike was flinching in his room on the opposite end of the country, panicking at the thought of ‘what if the ritual doesn’t work’.  But Richie wouldn’t know this.  

Yes.  If I’m right, this will kill IT. - MH

Well, if it’s your research Mikey, it’s gotta be right.  You’ve always been the smartest of us. -RT

Ha.  Wow you’re first joke in years that was actually funny.  Ben’s definitely the smartest. He’s the one who figured out the patterns in the first place. - MH

Yeah, but he’s the researcher, you’ve always been the better planner of all of us.  I mean, you were the one who brought the gun with you. When we first went after ‘IT’, most of us brought nothing.  I literally embarrassed myself trying to make a broken bottle to fight with. I might has well have just been our mascot. - RT

Nah Rich, you were the one who saved Bill in the end, do you remember that?  You’re the one who inspired us to fight. You’re probably the most loyal human being I’ve ever met, despite how much of a dick you are. - MH

Richie didn’t know what to say to all of that, but he smiled softly in response to the text.  He hadn’t remembered that, but he was just glad he wasn’t useless.

They kept talking a bit longer until finally the other loser’s trickled into their chat.

Holy fucking shit… - BD

-Howdy Bill, been a while, how’s writing going for you, seems like it's going well, you’re endings suck though I’ve noticed. - SU

-Well hello to you too Stanley. - BD

- BILL??? IS THAT YOU - RT

Jesus christ Richie, how did you and I both become famous and somehow neither of us have seen each other? - BD

Because I don’t read, and you don’t have a decent sense of humor, so we might has well have been in other galaxies - RT

Wow you really haven’t changed, you ass. - BM

MOLLY!!! IT’S BEEN SO LONG, WHY DID EVERYONE GET HOT BUT ME??? - RT

Wow, hi guys, it’s so fantastic to hear from you all! - BH

OH MY GOD BEN, YOU GOT THE HOTTEST, EDDIE AND I HAD A VERY LONG DISCUSSION ABOUT THOSE ABS - RT

WHY ARE WE TALKING IN ALL CAPS - EK

Haha you’re initials spell ‘eek’, say it out loud Eddie - RT

I will not. - EK

It was a lot more of that.  Old references reammerging, old dynamics coming back almost as naturally as breathing.  Richie felt his eyes watering slightly as he looked at the group texts and realized how much he missed this.  Having people like this.

We cannot forget each other again, I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to not knowing you guys - BH

I know, I cannot even begin to understand how I could have forgotten you all in the first place, you were so important to me, and I find it impossible to believe that I’d ever have forgotten you - BM

It’s not you Bev, it’s the clown, and I have an idea about the us remembering thing - MH

You’re actually gonna suggest my shitty alert notification idea??? - RT

Surprisingly yes, I was going to suggest that as a backup in case anything went wrong on my end, but now that we’re all talking and remembering, I wasn’t just planning on letting you all go again.  I live in Derry, so I’ll keep on remembering, so I figured, if I texted the group chat everyday as a reminder, we’d all keep remembering. - MH

And that’s how the Loser’s finally reconnected.  Richie wasn’t sure how long they spent in that group chat just texting.  Everyone catching up on each other's lives and experiences.

Eddie, why does your ex wife look just like your mother - BD

Fuck you dude, I will fucking leave this chat - EK

Aww don’t bully Ed’s, he’s a sensitive cannoli - RT

I’m calling my phone company now, I’m having your numbers blocked.  I hate you all - EK

Aw Eddie, but I didn’t do anything :( - BH

Ok, I take it back, I just hate Bill and Richie.  Everyone else is welcome to join me in a brand new, NOT RUDE people’s group chat; the one for actual adults who aren’t 30 year old man-children. - EK

Lot’s of the questions were about marriage and relationships actually…

So Ed’s, divorced already huh…? - BD

OMG, EDDIE I SAW PICTURES OF YOU’RE DAUGHTER, AND SHE IS SO CUTE! - BM

I KNOW, RIGHT??? - RT

It obviously wouldn’t have been long before the hard hitting questions started to trickle in.

So Ed’s, how did you wind up remembering Richie? - BH

Yeah, and why fucking Richie of all people? - BD

Richie remembered holding his breath at these questions.  While Stan had encouraged Eddie and Richie on the whole dating thing, he didn’t know if the other Loser’s knew, and he really didn’t want to accidently out Eddie after they’d only been dating for-

Oh yeah, I remembered him after leaving my wife, and now Trashmouth and I are dating. - EK

Well jesus, he didn’t know if he ever remembered Eddie being so blunt about anything in his life…

I FUCKING KNEW YOU WERE GAY DUDE (in a totally not problematic way, with text its hard to tell if something is aggressive, I promise this is not) I FUCKING KNEW IT, HOLY SHIT YOU TWO I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU - BH

Shit Rich, thank god, I always wondered when or if you two would ever fucking get together, I swear you two used to reek of constant, romantic pining. - BD

CONGRATULATIONS ED’S!  I always thought you two would be a cute couple. To be honest, I really thought you two were just secretly dating back in the day - BM

They might has well have been. and you guys should have seen how many speeches I had to give to those two to finally quit being dumb and just talk to eachother, I swear if I had never shown up, they would have pined after eachother their whole lives - SU

I feel personally attacked. - RT

You should bitch - SU

FInally, the Loser’s agreed they wanted to all meet up and reunite.  A lot of discussion was put in towards the plan for their reunion, until eventually Eddie had to open his dumb fucking text mouth.

You know, I’ve never seen Richie’s stand up, and I heard (from laying next to him in bed as he talked to his manager, obviously) he has a show coming up this coming Tuesday! We should go next week!  You could all fly on Monday and stay a few days! - EK

Richie thought he might throw up at the idea of all his friends watching his shitty, pre-written stand-up.  Unfortunately though, the idea took on a life of its own.

That’s a brilliant idea, I needed an unfunny space to just stare off into the distance and fall into an existential crisis about whether we’re in the matrix, let's do it. - SU

So here Richie was lying on his couch with a giant lump in his throat, staring down at his phone with nervousness just radiating off of him.  He quickly threw his phone and walked into his bedroom, opening up his laptop and checking the email with the new, pre-written script and he gulped at the lines.

It was basically a lot of depressing masturbation jokes to pair in nicely with his non-existent girlfriend.  Which is what he expected it to be.

“Fuck” he whispered, shoving his hands in his hair in frustration.  The other Loser’s would know for sure he hadn’t written this. As unfunny as they all say his jokes are, he had a sneaking suspicion they would prefer his bad dick jokes to this.  

He heard the door open and he looked up quickly, readjusting his glasses on his head as he heard Eddie coming inside.  

“HEY RICHIE, I’M BACK, BECCA'S GONNA STAY AT JAME'S FOR A BIT WHILE WE'RE GONE” Eddie shouted, all while Richie continued looking back down to read his shitty fucking pre-written jokes and just feeling air leaving him “YOU ABOUT READY TO GO?"

“Uhh, fuck… YEAH LET’S GO” he shouted, quickly tossing the laptop and throwing himself out of bed, making his way to his closet and throwing off his torn up t-shirt in exchange for an orange, floral button-up.

He was mid-buttoning when he realized Eddie was standing in the doorway.

“Jesus, you’re shitty sense of fashion never changed” he laughed, watching Richie button up his shirt.  At this point, Richie had just turned bright red.

“OH, uh- yeah, well you can talk shit all you want, but shitty fashion sense is better than NO fashion sense, because I swear you’re fifty different polos and pants are all interchangeable” Richie said back, his eyes still wide as he smiled at Eddie, still blushing profusely at Eddie just stood there smiling at him changing clothes.  Eventually Eddie pushed himself from the doorway, making his way to Richie.

“Look, about the Loser’s, I was mainly kidding when I suggested your show, but it just took off, and I know you don’t write your own material so I immediately felt bad when I realized they were interested in going and that they would probably catch on to all of-”

“Ed’s”

“It, and I just really didn’t mean to like… accidentally out you for your pre-written jokes, but I mean at the same time, they could just google you if they haven’t already, but I didn’t think about what having them in the crowd would be like in the-”

“EDDIE”

Eddie’s eyes shot up to Richie, as Richie stared at him, his face mainly just looking concerned of all things.

“Eddie, its fine, I know you didn’t mean harm by it, and you’re right, they’ve probably already googled me, so what’s the harm” Richie shrugged, and while he didn’t really mean what he was saying, he didn’t want Eddie to feel guilty.  Eddie just opened his eyes wider at Richie as his nervous frown turned up into a somewhat nervous smile.

“Ok, I just… ya know, I felt really bad about it, and-”

Richie cut him off by taking two steps forward and pushing their lips together as he brought a hand up to the back of Eddie’s head.  Eddie stood there for a moment, shell-shocked before reacting and kissing him back, putting both his hands on Richie’s shoulders until Richie pulled away, looking down at Eddie while never moving the hand from Eddie’s head.

“Eddie, I’m ok, we’re ok, I know you’d never intentionally do anything to make me panic, and I didn’t want you to go into a twenty minute rant of you worrying just for me to tell you not to worry, so I figured I’d just… I don’t know, hit you with it” Richie gestured with his other hand as Eddie squinted his eyes in confusion.

“Hit me with what, the kiss?”

“Oh uh, well yeah, I was using it as a figure of speech I guess and-”

“Oh my god, you do not know how to talk like a normal functioning person” Eddie was giggling now as Richie rose a single finger up to correct Eddie and go into a ten minute rant himself, until he quickly realized that Eddie wasn’t wrong and closed his mouth back, lowering his hand with a scowl.

“You win this battle bitch, but you haven’t won the war” Richie said, crossing his arms as Eddie smirked at him and gently grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the door.

“I win every battle, and you’re just too stubborn to admit you’re wrong as fuck, prove me wrong” Eddie grinned as Richie stared forward blankly and pushed up his glasses “I’m coming up empty, but to quote you, ‘statistically speaking bitch, you can’t win all of em’” Richie stated proudly as Eddie just shook his head at him.

“Wow, you’re a disaster” Eddie said as Richie disconnected from the hand holding to walk over to his couch and grab his leather jacket.

“Yeah, but I’m you’re disaster” Richie smirked, coming up behind Eddie and wrapping his arms around Eddie’s waist, kissing his neck and Eddie let out a small breath in response.

“You better be bitch, I’ve waited so long to be able to enjoy this with someone” Eddie confessed quietly as Richie stilled on his neck, moving back to rest against the back of the couch and pulling Eddie with him, holding him as Eddie rested against him.

“You really never did this with Myra” Richie asked him softly, and Eddie quickly pushed forward, grabbing his own khaki colored jacket from off the back of one of the dining room table seats.

“Nah, we uh… didn’t exactly have the closest marriage, but I’m too sober to be talking about this right now, and you promised me a fancy date, so come on Trashmouth, when are we going” Eddie smirked, finally turning around to look at Richie, and Richie felt like he lost his breath in this moment.

He realized how natural this was.  Just them together. It was like nothing had changed, yet everything had changed in literally all of the best ways.  

As he stood there, staring at this version of Eddie, so comfortable in his own skin and so fucking open just for Richie, it made his heart twitch as he stared at him.  He loved that Eddie could feel like this around him, so calm and relaxed. Mainly though, he just loved Eddie.

He must have been staring a bit too long though because suddenly the playful smirk fell and Eddie looked up at him in mild (poorly contained) worry.

“Hey, you’ve been staring a minute, are you ok?  You did reserve a place, didn’t you” Eddie teased, but he could hear the concern there, and Richie quickly jumped back to reality and just smiled largely at Eddie as he pushed forward, giving Eddie a quick peck and placing a hand on his cheek.

“I was just thinking about how happy I am that I get to do this with you” Richie said softly, using every muscle in his body to say it point blank and to not resort to mixing in a joke.  He watched Eddie’s mouth drop as he stared up at him, and eventually Eddie’s grin came back as Eddie kissed him.

“Me too, Rich... come on though, lets go on this date, we've waited long enough for this” Eddie said, giving him one last kiss as Richie smiled again "You could not be more right Ed's".

Chapter Text

They were seated at the table of some really nicely decorated Japanese place, to Eddie’s absolute shock.

“Jesus you actually did pick somewhere clean, you’re growing as a person Rich” Eddie grinned in the reddish tinted lighting, looking up at Richie with crossed arms “I’m proud of you”.

“I’m a fucking semi-famous comedian Eddie, where did you think I was gonna take you, the fucking local dumpster” Richie shot back, and Eddie just shrugged dramatically, looking at him like he was a crazy person “YOU FUCKING SAID YOURSELF YOU HAD TO ‘SOCCER MOM’ CLEAN YOUR HOUSE BEFORE I GOT HERE, AND IT WASN’T EVEN THAT CLEAN, SO EXCUSE ME FOR EXPECTING THE WORST” Eddie nearly shouted.  They both looked at eachother quietly under the light, Eddie breathing heavily from his rant and Richie just watching him from behind his glasses.

Then Eddie broke and started laughing lightly, his face breaking out into a massive grin as Richie started to laugh with him, pulling his glasses off and putting a hand over his forehead as they both started to laugh harder at themselves.

“Jesus christ, we’re a fucking mess” Eddie said between laughs, and Richie just nodded in agreement between a few last laughs, grinning at Eddie from the other side of the table.

“We really are, aren’t we? You know that waiter over there gave us the weirdest fucking look when you started abusing me” Richie joked, and Eddie just gaped at him “wow, you’re really a dramatic bitch aren’t you, fucking ‘abuse’ you, cry me a fucking river you dick, this is just foreplay with us” Eddie said loudly, still shaking his head off to the side with a grin in mock disbelief.  Richie just blushed at the wording of the statement.

“Uhh, um, I mean, you got me there” Richie said, his face completely red as he shuffled slightly in his seat and readjusting his glasses.  Eddie seemed to notice and just leaned back and grinned at Richie softly, taking a moment to appreciate just how cute Richie was like this.

“OH MY GOD, I broke you! No clever comeback, look at that” Eddie teased while Richie just tried to hide his face behind his hand, and Eddie quickly grabbed Richie’s hand from off his face, holding it in his own “Uh uh, nope, if you’re gonna sit there blushing at something I said, I’m damn well gonna see it you dickhead, this is a rare sight, I didn’t know I had it in me”.

“Oh my god, I’ve created a monster” Richie said softly, intertwining their hands together and resting them in the middle of the table “I take it all back, you are just as evil as you’re daughter, you two are literally the exact same human, you just hide it behind a boring dad persona”.

“Hey, I am a lot of things, but I am NOT boring” Eddie laughed while Richie looked at him in disbelief “Well excuse me Eduardo, I just heard the words ‘Risk Analyst’ from you and made some natural assumptions… did you even like you’re job Ed’s”? Eddie’s grin fell a bit as he looked down at the table, squeezing Richie’s hand slightly.

“Not fucking really, but it was just something I was good at, ya know” Eddie shrugged and Richie just stared at him with this soft expression and Eddie just rolled his eyes “don’t get like that you dick, we all have to do shit we don’t really like sometimes, I mean I can’t imagine you like telling other peoples jokes”.

“Nah, I wasn’t trying to pity you or anything” Richie said, before shaking his head and looking down at Eddie “and to answer you, no, I can’t say I’m a fan, but… their jokes went better with test audiences than mine did and… it was the smarter marketing decisions”.

“You should do your jokes anyway Richie” Eddie said with a nod, and Richie just looked at him wide-eyed.

“Uh, I don’t think I can do that Eddie, I think my manager would actually slit my throat” and Eddie just snorted from a hard laugh as he was taking a sip of his drink “you’re manager? Nah, she believes in you Rich, I can tell.  If she didn’t, she wouldn’t be helping you get your show greenlit if she didn't want what's best for you- OH, how is that going by the way? Anymore news?”

“We have our first meeting sometime this week to talk about production and potential script changes, so for now I’m just hanging out and waiting till then, but so far everythings been going smoothly” Richie grinned before taking a sip of his beer, finally realizing that their waiter had come.

Richie just got sushi and potstickers, which Eddie made fun of him for since he was just eating appetizers like a ten year old.  Eddie himself ordered a bottle of sake and hibachi grilled chicken.

“Oh my god, you’re trying to kill me” Richie gaped at him as Eddie casually handed him a shot glass.

“Well if it kills you, it’ll definitely kill me considering you’re a professional alcoholic, so at least we’ll die together” Eddie smirked and Richie just shook his head and grabbed the bottle, pouring them both some shots.

“Knowing you, we’d both die and you’d sue me from the grave” Richie said, picking up his tall shot glass and holding it up in his hand as he slid Eddie the other one, which Eddie quickly lifted with his.

“I’d expect full compensation, yes absolutely” Eddie said with a grin, tapping Richie’s shot glass lightly with his own.

“Well, cheers I guess” Richie said, slamming back the shot as Eddie just smiled at him, neatly taking back his own and flinching at the burn of it.

“Fuck that tastes like shit” Richie groaned, making a horrified face at the shot glass in his hand.  Eddie just laughed at him, muttering “You are such a giant baby, do you really only drink beer”.

“BEER AT LEAST DOESN’T TASTE LIKE ASS EDDIE” Richie shouted at him with wide eyes and disbelief and Eddie just shook his head, sliding down in his seat “that is an incorrect opinion, but ok”.

“You’re wrong, and I’ll accept your apology on behalf of all beer later, but before I get too drunk to ask, about the job thing… how is that going” Richie asked, and Eddie shot back up in his seat, sighing heavily as he reopened the bottle and poured another shot “oh my god, is it really that bad?”

“I’m reassessing things” Eddie said with a shrug, taking the shot back quickly and letting out a slow breath as Richie watched him “I don’t think I want to keep being a risk analyst, I… went to a few interviews but the way I see it, this is a fresh start ya know? And if I’m moving out here, and I’m turning over a new leaf, why not try out a different career path, right?”

Richie just smiled at him widely, leaning forward and resting his chin on his hands as he looked at Eddie.

“You don’t have to convince me Ed’s, that’s what I’ve been telling you to do for forever now, I’m just happy you somehow managed to convince yourself” Richie stated, shaking his head in mock disbelief as Eddie just shrugged mildly in response, giving a small smile back before answering “yeah, it took a lot of near panic attacks to decide on this if I’m being honest, but… I finally feel good, you know?” Richie grinned from hearing that, feeling a large swell of pride that Eddie would even consider a decision like this all on his own.  It was honest to god growth for Eddie, and Richie could not have been more happy for him.

“Yeah I know Ed’s…” Richie told him gently, moving his hand back to the table and letting Eddie place his own hand on top of his “so what’s your new plan then, if your not gonna be a risk analyst, what were you thinking of doing?”

“Uhh, well I was thinking that… I don’t know, I have my bachelors in finance, maybe I can expand on it?  I was looking into ideas, I could work as a financial planner, or I could go to law school and expand my degree into being a tax attorney-”

“Oh god Ed’s, ew, a lawyer? That’s it, we have to break up” Richie half-shouted in horror as Eddie rolled his eyes.

“It was just a thought dipshit… but, I also was throwing around the idea of doing what Stan did, I mean, I could always be a teacher, or a professor for finance if I went and got my masters or a PHD…” Eddie trailed off, looking back up at Richie who was giving him a more honest grin now.

“A professor huh? Professor Kaspbrak-” Richie tested the words out as Eddie’s eyes got wide at the realization of what he’d accidentally done.

“Please, holy shit, don’t take it there…”

“Oh my god, think of all the kinky roleplay we could accomplish with that!”

“Jesus christ Richie…”

“Oh Professor Kaspbrak, I desperately am in need of some extra credit, is there aaaanything I can do”

“Ok, that’s it, I’m becoming a lawyer, I can’t live like this” Eddie said with a laugh as Richie leaned forward slightly on the table, gently brushing his thumb over the back of Eddie’s hand.

“Be a lawyer, be a fucking professor Ed’s, you’d be great at whatever you decided to do, I don’t care what, I’m just so happy you’re finally doing something for you” Richie said softly, staring down at their joined hands and smiling to himself as he heard Eddie go silent.

“Jesus, you can’t just say things like that to me Richie…” Eddie responded, nearly a whisper as Richie finally looked up at him.  Eddie’s eyes were brighter than usual as he looked at him, and Richie just brought Eddie’s hand up to his lips and kissed him softly.

“This is a free country Eddie, I’m just expressing my god given right to speak freely in my angry eagle country” he said to him, but while the joke was there, the tone was nothing but fondness and Eddie just stared at him in shock.

“I mean, I don’t actually mind Richie, I just- I don’t know why I stayed with Myra for so long, that marriage never really was working, and it felt like we only ever got together out of convenience, and I was so jammed into the closet when we got together that I was resting with the fucking dusty parka’s” Eddie said quietly, his smile falling as Richie just pressed Eddie’s hand to his lips again in reassurance.

“Well, you’re free now, which is what counts right” Richie asked him softly, and Eddie just smiled sadly at him.

“Of course, yeah, but just… everything with us, with you… you saying things like that, you being so goddamn encouraging and kind, and then I realize I’m nearly forty years old, and I wasted so much fucking time with her and hating myself and-”

“Hey, come on, stop…” Richie whispered, trying to get Eddie to calm down before he fell down a rabbit hole of regret “you can’t think like that, it’ll drive you crazy, we all have things we regret, I mean Mike’s wasted so many years obsessing over that clown in Derry, I bet Ben regrets never telling Beverly that he was clearly in love with her for years… and Stan- ok no, Stan is the smartest of us, so he probably just conquered his dreams and moved to Atlanta in pride, bad example, but my point is that we all do shit we regret-”

“What do you regret Rich” Eddie asked him softly, and Richie just stared at him with his mouth still open, falling quiet though as his mind jumped to the thought Eddie was searching for.

“I regret never telling you how I felt when we were kids, I regret that we all fell out of touch” Richie said softly as Eddie just closed his mouth and nodded, giving Richie space to continue “I regret getting to this level of fame and never coming out of the fucking closet, being stuck making girlfriend jokes when I know deep down I’ll never have a fucking girlfriend… mainly though, I just regret the life we might have had, you know, if we’d somehow lived normal lives, in a world where a demonic clown didn’t cause us to forget everything, where maybe, just fucking maybe, we would have stayed in touch and fell in love, maybe adopted a few dogs and lived together in our twenties.  I think constantly about how we might have turned out if we’d just lived in a normal town, with normal people and normal fucking memories… maybe things would have been different” Richie said it all in a tone that Eddie thought might break him, and Eddie felt his eyes start to well up as he listened. He wanted to comment, but Richie finally looked up at him, making direct eye contact as he continued on.

“In a way though, as great as that sounds, I wouldn’t ask for it… and I know deep down, you wouldn’t either, and we both know why” Richie said softly, smiling sadly at him as Eddie just nodded with a nostalgic sigh.

“Becca… yeah, if anything made those years with Myra worth it, it was Bec” Eddie said with a nod and Richie just nodded back at him.

“You know I fucking adore her right?  When I first learned you had a kid, I didn’t know what to think, to be honest I half expected her to be a female version of you, all germophobic and yelly, or god forbid Myra” Eddie laughed at this but also felt the swell in his chest at Richie mentioning adoring his daughter.

“Yeah, she’s definitely yelly, and I’m pretty certain she’s a complete neutral evil” Eddie said with a shrug as Richie grinned slightly.

“Yeah, I could see that” Richie giggled as they sat there, falling silent or a moment before Richie continued “when you were coming, I was just excited to see you, but god, I never would have expected to fucking like her so much, and she’s so much like you in so many ways; so yes, while I wish we lived in that perfect world from time to time, I’m secretly glad we didn’t... because Becca wouldn’t be there” Richie told him, and Eddie couldn’t help the tears that leaked from his eyes this time.

“Holy fuck, baby, I’m so sorry, don’t do that, come on...” Richie whispered, sitting up from his seat at the other side of the booth and making his way to Eddie’s side as Eddie just put his head in his hand.

“Fuck, this is a date and I’m sitting here fucking tearing up like a complete bitch, I’m so sorry Richie” Eddie stammered, and Richie just pulled his shoulders into him, holding Eddie as he calmed down.

“Don’t apologize, I’m sorry I made you cry, but in my own personal defense, you did ask” Richie joked softly, causing Eddie to laugh into his own hands “yeah, I guess I did, didn’t I, so busy being caught up in my own angst I didn’t even think of the potential consequences” Eddie said with a small laugh, and Richie just put an arm around him, resting his head in Eddie’s hair.

“Absolutely couldn’t agree with you more, how dare you cry on our first date” Richie said sarcastically as Eddie just hit his arm lightly “oh great, and here you are abusing me once again, our waiter will call the police if your not careful Eddie Spaghetti”.

“I literally fucking hate you-”

“More abuse, Eduardo, come on, when will the cycle end” Richie laughed as Eddie just resettled into Richie’s chest as Richie felt him shake his head in annoyance.  The food got there not too long after, and Richie refused to move from Eddie’s side of the booth, both of them sitting next to each other as they ate, Eddie resting against Richie’s shoulder.

“I feel like I need to be fucking pinched, this is all so surreal, I never would have guessed you’d have liked me back” Richie finally said softly as Eddie was in the process of lifting a piece of chicken with his chopstick.

“Yeah… you know, Becca was the one who told me I should talk to you, because she figured we had to be… like, interested in each other or something” Eddie said with a shrug, and Richie just let out a small laugh “for me, it was Stan.  He said that you’d been in lo- or like, that you liked me for years, and I could barely fucking believe it, but he made me promise to take the jump, so I did, but god, even after he told me, I still could barely believe you’d like me” Richie said with a small, self-deprecating laugh as Eddie just frowned at him.

“What’s not to like Rich” Eddie said simply, staring at Richie who just looked at him with a shrug, readjusting his glasses nervously.

“I don’t know, I… I’m kind of a fucking wreck, and I know I have a tendency to be annoying-”

“You are both of those things, yes” Eddie added in mid-speech and Richie just rolled his eyes at him.

“Wow, my boyfriend ladies and gentlemen, such an encouraging and loving soul-”

“Hey, I’m very fucking loving, you prick” Eddie stated, grinning up at Richie who was now smiling back “yeah, I can tell, the ‘you prick’ was just the icing on top of a very aggressively loving statement, you’re really killing it” Eddie just grinned at Richie’s response, finally taking a bite of the food with his chopsticks and pushing himself further into Richie’s side, resting fully against him.

“You love it when I call you a prick, you prick” Eddie snarked, and he felt Richie laugh lightly despite not seeing his head.

“Yeah, I do…” Richie said with so much fucking fondness that Eddie felt he might melt.

“You love me” Eddie said it as a statement, but they both knew it was a question.

“Yeah… I do” he heard Richie whisper the words and he felt every cell inside him jolt.  He felt his brain short-circuit like it was a fucking malfunctioning computer. He knew Richie felt the same, because he could no longer feel Richie breathing.

“I think I love you too” Eddie finally whispered under the glow of the red lights, and he felt Richie’s hand touching his head, pulling his face up to look at him, and watching Richie stare at him in so much shock nearly hurt, because he needed Richie to understand that Eddie loving him? It shouldn’t be a fucking shock.

“Of course I love you, you dick, don’t stare at me mouth all agape like this is a fucking cartoon, I have never felt anything close to this before, to the way you make me feel Richie, you’ve always made me feel like that.  Like I mattered. Like I was fucking important, or like I could conquer fucking anything” Eddie told him and Richie couldn’t find fucking words, so like he did best, Eddie found the words for him “I loved you back then too I think, but I was too young and dumb to realize what it was, and I was so in denial about myself and my sexuality, and then I moved, but remembering Myra, and thinking about what you said, that no, me and Myra never did the things you and I do, I just… you make me feel like I fucking matter Rich, like I’m something special-”

“You are something special Eddie, I- I have never known anyone in my life like you” Richie whispered, and Eddie finally scooted out of Richie chest so he could set sideways in the booth seat, staring up at Richie who was still just looked at him, unmoving in his shock, but still looking at Eddie with that same fucking look, and Eddie couldn’t understand why he’d think so lowly about himself.

“You know, for a mouthy, overly confident trashmouth, it's hard to imagine you being this self-conscious-”

“Ed’s”

“Nope, you’re not interrupting me again with my fucking name fuckface, and don’t you dare kiss me again to get me to shut up, which in retrospect is probably the only time you’ll ever hear me say those words, but I want you to hear this Richie” Eddie made sure to make direct eye contact, because he didn’t want Richie to miss a fucking word “you are the most caring, encouraging, best fucking person I’ve ever met Rich, and I know you like to hide that behind dick jokes and general unfunny humor, but I know deep down, all of that is who you are, and you have so fucking much to offer Richie, so don’t downplay yourself by acting shocked that I am fucking in love with you”.

They both just looked at each other for a long, drawn out while.  Richie felt tears prickling at his eyes, and Eddie just stared hard at him, trying to ensure that Richie didn’t try to backtrack on the compliment.

“You really fucking love me Eddie” he asked softly, and Eddie just let out a small laugh, like that was the dumbest thing he’d heard all night “of course I love you Rich, even your shitty fucking jokes”.

Richie just laughed as the tears fell, and Eddie lifted a hand to wipe his cheeks as they sat there just looking at each other for a long moment until-

“Um, hi, its Stefan, you’re waiter uhh… are you two ok, I was just coming to give you the check?”

Eddie glared at him, shaking his head as Stefan just raised his eyebrows and gave a small nod.

“Um, yep ok, here’s the check, uhh, guess I’ll just… yep” he said, finally turning tail and running as Richie giggled and looked up at Eddie.

“Holy fuck, he’s going to call the cops right now, he probably thinks you just abused me again” Richie said, the humor finally leaking back in as Eddie grinned “nah, he just think’s we’re fucking crazy I figure”.

Richie made a face of agreement as he nodded, “well, he wouldn’t be wrong, now would he”.  Eddie just laughed and bit his lip in agreement as Richie finally placed his hand on Eddie’s arm, smiling at him.

“You fucking love me Ed’s” Richie said it, like a reassuring statement and Eddie just scoffed.

“If you keep calling me Ed’s I’ll retract the statement” Eddie muttered and Richie just pinched Eddie’s cheek jokingly “naaah, you can’t now, you said it yourself, you love me you fucking dweeb”.

Eddie just rolled his eyes again and Richie teased him, feeling his phone vibrating and having half a mind to ignore it, but checked the caller ID before making the final call, seeing Becca’s contact pop up.

“Saying you love me on a first date, I’ll be honest Eduardo that’s a bold move-”

“Hey, sorry one sec, it’s Bec, I just gotta answer this real fast” Richie kept pinching his cheek and grinning as Eddie pulled his phone to his ear “do what you gotta do Ed’s, just know that I love and support you while you do it”.

Eddie pushed his hand into Richie’s face to shove him off as he finally answered his phone.

“Becca sweetie, hey, did you need me to pick you up or-...” Eddie went quiet, and Richie’s grin slowly fell from his face as Eddie’s expression contorted into one of pure nervous concerns.

“Becca, honey… she can’t- there’s no way she can just find you like that, she’s in New York, she-” Eddie went quiet again and Richie felt his own heart drop as he realized what they were discussing “honey, you’re thinking way too deeply into this, she won’t come and hunt you down, you’re across the country sweetheart, she won’t do that-”.

Richie watched as Eddie just nodded his head in response to the phone call, not sure of what he could even say to help or to add to the situation.

“She’s bluffing with you Becca, here, we’ll talk more in a second, me and Richie are just leaving the restaurant, we’ll come pick you up in a moment, is James's with you?” another bout of silence and Richie quickly pulled out his card and walked it over to the waiter, making sure they’d be ready to leave when Eddie was off the phone. He made his way back to see Eddie nervously staring off at the wall before turning to look at Richie, and Richie just sat back down next to him, putting his hand on Eddie’s as a small form of comfort.

“We’re leaving now honey, ok, just… hold on for me, we’ll be there soon… I love you Becca” Eddie said softly, and Richie just watched him with his mouth closed in a grim line, already theorizing what happened.  As soon as Eddie hung up the call, Richie said it for him.

“Myra, right?”

Eddie looked up at him nervously and nodded, Richie just nodded with him.

“She got Bec’s new number through her connection to our old shared phone accounts, she managed to sneak her way into getting Bec’s number and started texting her… Becca seems to think she tracked her phone, which realistically is possible, but… I mean, Myra can be crazy, but I don’t think she’s THAT crazy, you know” Eddie said, and Richie just nodded back at him, trying to be encouraging despite the nagging concern that if she was crazy enough to threaten to kill herself to prove a point, she’d probably be crazy enough to travel across the country and find her daughter.

“You’re probably right, yeah… so we’re going to pick her up” Richie asked, and Eddie just nodded, getting up out of the booth and moving his hand to grip Richie’s.

“Yeah, we should go” Eddie whispered, walking off to head for the exit before realizing that his arm caught when Richie didn’t move.  Eddie looked at him to ask ‘what the hell’ before Richie moved up to him and kissed him gently, as if he was trying to push all the reassurance he could into the kiss.

He pulled back slowly, looking down at Eddie who just started back up at him, feeling so many different emotions he didn’t even know how to differentiate.  Richie gave him a small smile before kissing their joint hands again, an act Richie had become fond of doing apparently, because he did it all the time; not that Eddie was complaining.

“Whatever happens Eddie, it’ll be ok, you know that right” Richie whispered and Eddie just let out a slow exhale before squeezing Richie’s hand and pulling their joint hands towards his own lips, kissing Richie’s hand in return.

“I know Richie” he said, and to his own shock, he truly believed it.  It wasn’t even a lie to reassure Richie. Being here like this, knowing that no matter what happened Richie was with him all the way, it just built on the feeling in his own chest that no matter what crazy shit Myra tried to pull, Richie would be there with him to help.

“Ok… she won’t fuck with Becca again Ed’s, we won’t let that happen”.

Eddie nodded, once again shocked, but this time from just the level of fierceness in the tone of Richie’s voice, like there was no room for an argument.  

“I fucking love you Richie” he whispered, and Richie’s gaze softened as they stood there, in that shitty fucking resturant, feeling like this moment would be forever engraved in their memories as one of the most important moments in their lives.

“I love you too Ed’s” he whispered, and Eddie nodded at the words, pulling Richie with him through their laced hands as they walked out of the door.

Chapter Text

When Richie and Eddie pulled into Jame’s driveway, Becca was already outside.  Tears streaming down her chubby cheeks as she paced back and forth along the walkway to the door, a nervous looking Jame’s along with three other kids just sitting on the steps, giving her room to pace.  She was on the phone, and immediately upon realizing that, both Eddie and Richie knew who she was talking to. They both climbed out of the car to hear her intense yelling.

“OH THAT’S FUCKING RICH COMING FROM YOU, ISN’T IT MOMMY, THAT IS SO. FUCKING. RICH” she shouted, shaking her head and laughing crazily at whatever it was Myra was saying “YOU TALK A LOT OF BIG GAME ABOUT HOW MISERABLE I MAKE YOU, HOW I CAUSED YOUR DEPRESSION AND SUICIDAL FEELINGS, SO THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU DID TO ME MOM, WHAT THE FUCK-” she cut off, suddenly eyes going wide at whatever it was she’d gotten as a response.

“ARE YOU REALLY FUCKING DOING THAT, GONNA PRETEND YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT? FUCK YOU, OK?  DON’T FUCKING CALL ME, DON’T FUCKING- I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE” she shrieked, hanging up the phone and throwing it into the bushes nearby.  Eddie quickly made his way over to her, kneeling down and pulling her into a tight hug.

She was fucking weeping, which was insane for Richie to see, considering Becca had the same tendancy as him; hide emotion at all cost, and use jokes to cover up pain.  He was so used to that from her that it was shocking to see her like this at all. She was so raw, and showing so much. Whatever shields she’d had up in the past were fucking obliterated as Richie stared at them, Eddie sitting on the ground and just holding her as she wept into his shirt.  

Richie walked past them, trying to give them a moment and walked up to the front door, looking at James's quickly.

“Is your mom in there, can I talk to her” Richie asked, and James just nodded slowly, still looking somewhat panicked by everything happening around him.  Richie gave him a quick nod and opened the door, walking into the living room and finding the stressed looking blonde smoking a cigarette in the corner.

“Well hello there Satan, finally touched up your roots I see” the blonde (who’s name they discovered to be Whitney after their kids started hanging out) scoffed at Richie’s introduction, shaking her head and taking another drag of her cigarette “Hey Rich, yes I did, thank you for noticing; I assume you’re here for Becca-”

“Yeah, that’s kinda what I’m in here about, what the fuck happened” Richie stepped a little closer, holding a hand out in a silent question as she nods and hands him a cigarette.  Richie thanked her softly as she pulled out a lighter, lighting his cigarette as she took another drag of her own.

“I’m suprised you smoke…” Whitney let the question out silently as Richie breathed in the fumes, trying to ease the headache that was now beginning to build in his brain before answering her “yeah, it’s usually only when I’m stressed…”.

“Right, well uhh, she was perfectly fine originally... I think she and James were working on their programming thing on the computer and then she started getting a lot of phone calls from some unknown number.  She’d left her phone on the couch, and I figured it was one of you guys or something so I walked her phone over to her and when she answered she…” Whitney trailed off, exhaling some smoke from her mouth as she looked up at Richie, who took a drag of his own cigarette “she uh… threw her phone, and I started getting on her about who it was and she um-... she flipped me off, grabbed her phone and stormed out” Whitney said with a small laugh, and Richie cringed internally at that.

“Sorry she uh… she gets dramatic sometimes” Richie took another drag mid speech “she’s just very… expressive”.

“Yeah, I get that feeling from her, she must get that from you then” Whitney said with a smirk, and Richie’s eyes just widened as he looked at her, mouth opening into an ‘O’ shape as she laughed at him “come on, relax, it can’t be that far of a stretch, I mean you did tell me to ‘touch up my fuckin’ roots’ on the beach that day, can’t imagine who she gets it from” it was at this moment that Richie realized he never corrected telling her that he and Becca weren’t technically related.  

“Um-”

“Anyway, yeah, she freaked out and she’s been screaming outside ever since, so no offense but the sooner you get her out of here, the better because... nothing against her, I understand walking outside and screaming into the abyss just as much as the next gal, but I have neighbors and I reaaally don’t want to get the cops called on us for a noise complaint-”

“Yeah, of course, say no more Lord Satan, me and Eddie will get out of your hair, thanks for taking care of her Whitney” he said, finally putting his cigarette out in the ashtray and lifting himself from the table he’d been seated at, and Whitney just gave him a slight nod and a smile before he turned away.

“OH, RICHIE-” she shouted and Richie turned to look at the google search she’d pulled up on her phone to see his own face staring back at him.

“Ah fuck” Richie mumbled, and she just grinned at him “I knew you were that fucking comedian, don’t worry I won’t tell anybody” Richie just nodded dumbly as he turned back around, hearing her light giggling fill the room as he moved towards the exit.  He walked out the door to see Eddie standing off at the corner of the yard as Becca sat in the center of a hug amongst her friends, and Richie felt his heart twitch slightly.

It reminded him of a memory.  A half-remembered one, sure, but it was there, foggy as it was.  All of them together in a disgusting sewer. Richie holding onto Bill’s side as he clutched his brothers dirty old rain jacket, tears falling as he and the other Loser’s held him in his worst moment.

It was like looking into a fucking mirror, and he had to turn away to prevent the rush of emotions that it welled up in him.  He instead chose to stare at Eddie, wondering if Eddie was thinking the same thing. If Eddie was remembering the moment they’d killed a clown and bonded for life.  He and the other Loser’s.

Eddie had to be, because as he stared at Becca crying in her friends arms, and he looked as if he’d seen a fucking ghost.

Richie walked over to Eddie, brushing their shoulders together as they waited patiently for Becca to finish saying her goodbyes, not daring to rush the moment she was having with her friends.

“So uh… there is a good chance that Myra has gone off the fucking rails…” Eddie whispered next to him, trying to keep his voice quiet so that Becca wouldn’t hear, and Richie just nodded next to him, crossing his arms as Eddie leaned on him “she apparently tried to gaslight Becca into thinking she never said she wished she’d never been born”.

Richie’s eyes widened at that, turning his head to look at Eddie with a hardened gaze.

“She said what?”

“Oh uh, yeah, Bec finally told me what the ‘worst thing’ her mom said to her was, and it was that” Eddie was staring at the ground now as Richie looked at him in shock, feeling his blood pressure rise as he realized the true level of bullshit Becca had endured.  

“She tried to pretend that she never said it, just trying to make Bec think she made it up in her head, that she was delusional” Eddie looked up as Richie silently asked the question through his gaze, turning his head at an angle to look at Richie and just nodding as he answered, watching as Richie bit his lip in frustration, shaking his head in anger.

“Full offense Ed’s, but I hate your fucking ex-wife” Richie muttered, and Eddie let out a small laugh at that, turning his head back to look at Becca, who was now finally starting to calm down and separate from her pile of supporting friends “trust me, I’m starting to hate her too” he distantly heard Eddie whisper.

“You think she’s gonna show up at our doorstep?”

“It’s possible, Bec switched her location off but I’m sure Myra already has our location saved in some kind of hitlist folder, so unless you wanna move apartments and jump to a new state, I’d say she knows where we are” Richie nodded at this new information, uncrossing his arms and snaking his left one around Eddie’s waist, embracing the position and letting Eddie lean into him more.

“We could stay at a hotel” Richie suggested, and Eddie’s eyes widened slightly as he remembered Stan.

“Maybe we could crash at the same hotel Stan’s staying at” Eddie suggested and Richie pulled his phone out of his pocket to text Stan, trying to get on reserving the room immediately “already on it”.

Becca made her way over to Richie and Eddie, her eyes red and still glistening from tears that she was desperately trying to keep from falling, but her voice exposed no weakness as she muttered a quick “let’s go” to the two of them, and Eddie quickly moved to lead her to the car as Richie made the proper reservations.  

A lot of the drive was left in silence, nobody really knowing what to say.  Becca was still trying to look unaffected in the backseat, and Eddie and Richie didn’t want to say the wrong words that would accidentally hurt her.  

Eventually though, Richie found a way to break the ice.

“So, your mom is a complete bitch” Richie said loudly, and Eddie gave him a wide-eyed expression as Becca turned to look at them both, just nodding slightly as she rested her chin in her hand, leaning forward.  

“Yep… she's gonna try to come out here and find me, I know her, it's only a matter of time…" Richie listened as Becca whispered the words, feeling horrible that she sounded so scared.  He'd never seen her scared before. It was unsettling to say the least.

"If she does Bec, we'll just tell her to fuck off, you and me, it'll be ok-"

"I-I don't k-know if I have it in me again…" she was stuttering, and her eyes seemed to glisten more than before as Eddie quickly turned in his seat to look at her, reaching his hand out for Becca to hold. She took it hesitantly, and Eddie noted that her hand was shaking.

"You won't have to sweetheart, we'll do it for you" Eddie said to her firmly, and she let out a shaky breath as she nodded, Richie bobbing his head in agreement beside him.

“Bec honey, you’re not gonna have to do shit ever again, I won’t let that bitch within a five mile fucking radius if that’s what you want” Eddie looked up as Richie said those words, and Richie quickly added his own hand to the collection, placing his on top of Eddie’s and Becca’s.  

“It’s… I can’t, at least not right now, I can’t…” Becca had tears falling down from her cheeks as she closed her eyes and kneeled her head down to rest on Richie’s and Eddie’s hands, placing her other hand onto theirs and squeezing as if for dear life.  Richie felt his heart wrench at her mix of stammered breaths, a reaction to the sobs that were leaving her.  

“Then you won’t, end of discussion. I was thinking we could get you some dominos and ice cream, and just watch shitty zombie movies till we pass out, how does that sound Bec" Richie said firmly, turning to look at Becca who was still not looking up, kindly ignoring Eddie's stressed expression at the idea of unhealthy food and rated R flicks.  

"I.. that sounds great Richie… thank you" she said, finally lifting her head up to look at Richie with a sad smile, "I know I'm mean to you a lot but… I want you to know I really do like you Richie".

Richie smiled at that, squeezing her hand tighter in reassurance as they continued onwards to pick up food. Richie was so caught up, he didn't even notice Eddie's gaze on him, and Eddie was just… struck by the realization that he'd do anything for this. To keep this. He already knew he'd do anything for Bec, that was given… but holy fuck he realized he'd do fucking anything for Richie. He'd give Richie the fucking world if he could. And he decided then that he would. He'd fucking give anything for them. For this.

Richie turned his head to look at Eddie, giving a concerned look from behind his glasses, and Eddie made a point to look up at Richie and squeeze their joint hands with Richie, looking up at him and just hoping his eyes conveyed what he was feeling in this moment.

They must have, because in that moment, Richie's smile in response to his look would become Eddie's eighth wonder of the world.

They wound up getting a Hawaiian pizza since Becca insisted on the power of 'savory and sweet'. Eddie had apparently learned to like that flavor of pizza, meanwhile Richie just snuck himself an order of breadsticks since he already had a theory he'd hate it.

Richie let her play her shitty pop playlist as they made their way to the hotel. Despite all the bad of the night, he had to dedicate a moment to look back at the young girl, at Eddie's daughter and feel so much fucking pride. She was so strong for age, so ahead of where so many other kids were at that point in their lives. She was a survivor, just like Eddie. Richie smiled to himself as he thought of them. His fast-talking little collective. His fucking family.

Shit, Richie couldn't quit smiling.

They pulled up to the hotel to see Stan leaning against the brick wall, casually looking at his phone as he waited for them.  As soon as Becca was out of the car, she sprinted over to him, still red eyed and disheveled from her day.

"UNCLE STAN" she shouted, launching herself onto Stanley as he smiled at her, catching her in a hug as if on cue.

"Jesus Beccy, are you ok, I heard what happened" Stan said to her, lifting her up in a hug and spinning her slightly to cheer her up as Becca grinned.

"I'm ok, dumb and dumber picked me up, thanks for offering earlier though Stan" Becca smiled and Eddie's mouth opened slightly at the realization that Stan had been willing to pick her up. He closed it abruptly though as he quickly made his way to Stan, who was now lowering Becca back to the ground when Eddie pulled him into a tight hug.

"Jesus, ok-"

"Thank you Stanley" Eddie whispered into Stanley's shoulder, and Stan just smiled and nodded, patting Eddie's back awkwardly.

"Of course Ed's, loser's gotta stick together right" Stanley had said softly in return, the two of them kindly ignoring Becca's voice in the background muttering "you better not be referring to me-".

"You do computer programming at age twelve honey, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you are absolutely a loser" Richie casually sprinkled in, a large grin on his face as Becca narrowed her eyes at him, putting her backpack back on and flipping him off as she made her way into the hotel.

"I HATE THEM UNCLE STAN, LET'S BOUNCE, WE HAVE HAWAIIN PIZZA, WE DON’T NEED THEM WHERE WE’RE GOING, WHICH IS FLAVORTOWN" Becca shouted as her middle finger never dropped from its flown position, walking away swiftly as Stan let out a tired sigh, letting out a quiet “I fucking hate Hawaiian pizza” as he awkwardly grabbed the boxes from the backseat and took the card to their hotel room from Richie, following after her in at a unhurried pace.

Eddie stood outside a moment longer, the heat from the outdoors beginning to cling to him despite it being so late at night.  Richie wandered over to where Eddie stood, looking up at him expectantly, hands shoved into his jacket pocket (which Eddie was still not sure how he wore it in such frequent warmth).

“How do you wear a pitch black fucking jacket in close to eighty degree heat” Richie smiled slightly at Eddie’s words, laughing a little to himself as he just shrugged awkwardly.

“I get chilly easily and I sacrifice my comfort for shitty fashion, you judgmental bitch; you absolutely would survive a fucked up family situation an hour prior and immediately insult my shitty jacket once being given a chance to talk about it” Richie tried to ease the tension with his words, but he realized immediately that he’d just made it worse.

“I don’t know Rich, what the fuck is there to say… I fucked up, I should have fucking thought about the shitty fucking phone plan, but of course I didn’t, and now if Myra shows up-”

“Fuck Eddie, come on, stop that man… if she does show up, we’ll handle it- I mean, you faced your own mother and a killer fucking clown all in the same month, that has to count for something Ed’s.  I know you’re nervous, and fuck, I really hope she doesn’t make it to Becca first, but if she shows up Ed’s-”

“She will-”

“Fine- fuck, when she shows up, we will tell her to fuck off and we will deal with it, alright? I told you she wouldn’t fuck with Becca again because we wouldn’t let it happen, so trust me when I say that between Stan, yourself and motherfucking me, the local trashmouth, she won’t even get the slither of a chance to do that shit to her ever again, ok?”

Eddie felt himself nodding slowly, his nerves still evident on his face as Richie gave him a softened expression, his mouth falling into a thin line of concern.

“Please trust me Eddie, it’ll be ok” Richie whispered gently, reaching his hand out to rub his arm reassuringly.  

“I do- I trust you Richie, of fucking course I do, come on” Eddie told him, nodding as Richie smiled slightly at that.  Richie hugged him and Eddie hugged back, trying desperately to keep his emotions in check as he buried his face into Richie’s shirt.

“I know you do Eddie, also I must say, loving the whole ‘bury your head into me’ vibe, you are such a cute tiny person” Eddie shoved Richie slightly as Richie grinned, and Eddie looked up at him and shook his head in awe.

“You’re stupid as shit, I cannot believe I fucking love you” Eddie snarked, backing away towards the entrance of the hotel as Richie followed after.

“I can believe it absolutely, a hundred percent, you have poor fucking taste in fashion, food and lifestyle choices so it’s not much of a stretch to realize you also have poor taste in men” Richie stated simply, listing it all off while counting on his fingers as Eddie glared at him.

“Fuck you dude, you pushed me into a no-win scenario where I either have to concede to my ‘can’t believe I love you’ joke, OR, I have to agree with you as you insult yourself, which I obviously will not do when I know deep down that’s your self-deprecation seeping through” Eddie shook his head at him as he let out a disbelieving laugh as he wagged his finger in annoyance “you’re an evil fucking genius”.

“Nah Ed’s, I don’t use my brain enough for all of that” Richie started walking past him, waving his hand around his head to push his point forward as Eddie began to follow after him into the hotel, carrying the movie’s they’d rented into the building.  

“You’re a fucking liar Richie, you just like to pretend you don’t have a fucking brain” Eddie said and Riche let out a laugh in response to that statement, but realized he was deep down extremely touched.

They got to the fifth floor to see Stan and Becca waiting on them outside, Becca talking a mile a minute with a slice of pizza waving in her hand, and Stanley just nodding to her rant gently before looking up at Eddie and Richie and giving a slight wave.  Becca wasn’t far behind after seeing that.

“HOLY SHIT, GAY DAD’S, YOU BROUGHT THE GOODS” she yelled excitedly, sprinting over to them and pulling them both into a hug as Richie laughed.

“For the record, I want you all to know I still disagree with showing her 28 Days Later, that shit is horrific” Eddie groaned, not even commenting on the ‘Gay Dad’s’ statement, which Richie silently noted should have a fucking trademark at the end of it.  

“I still disagree with showing ME 28 Days Later... I swear to god if one of those things twitches unnaturally, I’ll probably elbow someone in the nose” Stanley said as Richie laughed at Stan' anxiety, lifting Becca up and shaking her slightly as he stepped forward, causing her to yell at him very aggressively.

“YOU OLD SACK OF DECAYING BONES, PUT ME DOWN-”

“Don’t worry Stanley, Becca will just whip out her trusty knife and stab away the zombies for you, nothing to fear except the inevitability of the grave, I mean look at her, she’s ready to fight” he laughed as he proceeded to completely ignore Becca’s wishes to be put down, Stan laughing as he opened the door to the hotel room.

“I think she’s more worried about fighting you right now Rich” Richie just casually shrugged in agreement as Becca kicked him and rolled her way onto the ground, sprinting into the hotel room and flipping him off.

“Yeah, you’re probably right, YEAH REAL ORIGINAL SWEETHEART, IT’S NOT LIKE YOU DON’T FLIP ME OFF EVERY DAMN DAY, DRAMATIC BITCH” Richie shouted after her, Eddie following after and grabbing his hand gently as they walked inside.

“You smell like cigarettes” Eddie noted, yanking at Richie’s hand and pulling him into the hotel room.

“Yeah, I bummed one off of the devil herself, she probably has my soul now” Richie smirked, and Eddie gave him a small smile as he nodded “just didn’t know you smoked”.

“I uh… I do when I’m stressed” Richie finally conceded, and Eddie just smiled sadly, pulling Richie forward at the doorway of the hotel room, kissing him gently “I’m sorry my baggage is coming back to kill me and give you lung cancer Rich”.

“Yeah well, we all gotta go eventually right? At least I got to go on a date with you before I went” Richie squeezed the hand holding his own, smiling at Eddie gently as Eddie’s expression lightened, but he scoffed lightly nonetheless “christ, and I thought you WEREN’T stereotypically gay”.

“There’s nothing gay about showing affection to my cute as all fuck boyfriend Eddie Spaghetti, come on” Richie grinned, and Eddie felt himself smiling with him, despite his attempt to pretend he was annoyed “though, it is pretty gay since we’re both men, so shit maybe I should stand corrected- excuse me Ed’s, sorry, I’ll try to be less gay next time” Richie held his hands up in surrender as he slipped past Eddie just to get grabbed in Eddie’s grip and pulled into a kiss, Eddie placing a hand on his cheek gently before pulling back and smirking at him.

“Nah, be as gay as you want, do I look like I’m complaining” Eddie grinned at him, their faces millimeters apart as Richie felt a blush growing before…

“Ok, you guys need to chill, I’m trying to have a panic attack here to these zombie movies, quit being annoying for like five seconds and turn the fucking movie on” Stan yelled at them, and Richie smiled to himself as he heard Becca’s laugh following Stan’s statement.  Eddie grinned with him, placing a hand on Richie’s cheek one more time and looking up at him and smiling before moving past, making his way to the beds and the TV.

Richie stayed there one last moment, staring at the shitty fucking hotel painting and grinning like an idiot to himself as he realizes that the hole he’d had in his chest for so long was fucking gone.  He’d finally found the piece of himself he’d been missing all along. And as he turned around to look at them, at Stan and Becca sharing a shitty Hawaiian pizza, and Eddie laying back on the bed and looking over at him with so much fucking affection, making Richie’s heart melt, he realized what it was.  That they were the pieces.

And then Richie walked.

Chapter Text

Becca was lying out in the lawn staring at the blue sky, not even listening to her friends screaming their heads off from her left side.  She would be lying if she said it wasn’t because she was nervous. It was as if that became her perpetual state ever since her mom, and now with the added stress of what her dad had survived, how Stan had reacted to the news that her dad still refused to talk about; though she knew it involved going back to his hometown.  The fact that they could potentially forget everything. Also because her friends were debating on whether ants existed in the dinasour age, which was a fucking stupid debate that she didn’t really feel like throwing her two cents into, so rather than join in she just sort of wallowed in her own thoughts.

“James you’re a fucking moron, ants had to exist back in the day because cockroaches did, they survived the asteroid like they can survive nuclear blasts-”

“Yeah but ants aren’t cockroaches you idiot, plus they probably got stepped on-”

“WE STEP ON ANTS J.  EVERYONE STEPS ON ANTS. WE’RE IN A LAWN, YOU’RE STEPPING ON FUCKING ANTS RIGHT NOW.  WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THEM BEING IN THE JURASSIC ERA”

Becca listened to Martin screaming at James as she stared up at the clouds roll by, thinking about everything that was causing her stress as if it was on a repeat playlist in her brain.

It’d become a constant paranoia.  She didn’t want it to be that way, but unfortunately her nerves wouldn’t leave her so it was what it was.  She felt a touch graze her arm lightly and nearly jolted up from the grass.

“Beccy…?”

It was her friend Karmen who was looking down at her; her hand resting tentatively on Becca’s arm as Becca exhaled heavily and turned her head to fully look at her.  Her caution reminded Becca of the behavior someone would have in the process of approaching a bomb. Was that what they saw her as? A fucking blast about to go off?  She sat up slightly, pushing the hand on her arm off as she stared ahead at nothing, feeling her head pound as everything threatened to overwhelm her.

“You were sitting there for a long time Bec, are you ok?  Is this about…” Karmen’s friend Diana (The blonde who had recently begun joining their hangouts on a consistent basis since Karmen had begun bringing her over) had asked her, looking at her with this annoyingly skeptical expression.  Becca felt her face wilt from its carefully blank expression, falling into a frown at everyone approaching her.

“YEAH, ABOUT THAT, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED, YOU’RE THE MOST HEARTLESS, SARCASTIC BITCH I KNOW, SO SEEING YOU CRY WAS… well it was just...” James lost his bravado in the middle of his speech, and Becca fully lifted herself off the ground, brushing grass of her jeans as she glared at them, trying to keep an irritated expression on her face so that they’d get the message.

“I’m fine, go back to screaming out your bullshit James” she muttered, and she hated the way James face scowled at her.  Like he was offended. She just wanted to grovel in peace.

“Well that’s fucking rude, excuse me for caring you asshole, I just wanted to make sure you were ok” Becca felt her heart drop at this.  He had walked over to her midspeech and they were both standing, glaring at each other, and this was really not what Becca wanted. She just wanted him to drop it.  They talk like assholes to each other all the time, what was so different now? 

“Fuck this I’m leaving” she whispered, pushing her hands into her jacket pockets and turning to walk away from them on the lawn.  She'd decided that she’d had enough, making her way towards the sidewalk of the LA suburbia street with a hunched up stance.

“WHAT THE FUCK, NO WHAT DID I SAY-”

“Fuck you James, move, let me handle this” that voice was Martin’s, but she didn’t look back despite it, lifting her phone up and scrolling through her contacts to find Stan’s number.  She clicked it only for it to immediately cut to a voicemail, to which she swore under her breath and tried to keep walking, freezing as Martin’s worried tone cut into her.

“Bec, please, we’re just worried about you… you realize you were staring off at nothing for nearly an hour right? And… and the last time we saw you, you were screaming at your mom on the phone and crying, and then your dad took you home but… we’re just worried you know” Martin tried to put a hand on her shoulder, but Becca just shook her head in what she hoped would convey annoyance, knowing deep down that it probably wouldn’t as she shook off his hand.

“I’m fine, I just have a lot on my mind, I’m not gonna turn you guys into a therapy session for my fucked up shit, just drop it Marty-”

“Dude, we had to hold you in J’s lawn for like… an hour, I have never seen anyone break down so hard, I’m not trying to be a pushy dick-”

“WELL YOU ARE” she shouted, and immediately regretted it when she watched Martin’s mouth open and then swiftly close in defeat, looking off to the side with the most pained fucking expression, and Becca felt her own mouth opening against her will “Marty, look, I’m sorry, I just… I don’t know what to say”.

“WE’RE YOUR FRIENDS BEC, JUST TELL US THE TRUTH, DO YOU THINK WE WOULDN’T STILL LOVE YOU” James joined in, walking up behind Martin with an intense glare that Becca didn’t have a reaction to.  She could feel the wetness around her eyes before anyone even made a comment and she hated herself for it. The only ones she wanted seeing her like this… like she was weak, was her family; and by family, she basically exclusively meant Stan, Richie and her dad. 

And even with them, she tended to bury her feelings before she’d cry in front of them.  

She just didn’t want them to worry.

It was over at this point though as she began to silently cry, the tears moving further down her cheeks as her friends gathered around her with this… this fucking look of sympathy, which was exactly what she didn’t want .  She saw them moving closer to hug her and she quickly held up a hand before she could.

“Don’t- look, I’m sorry for snapping, but if I go into it right now, I’ll…” she had to breath to recollect herself “I’ll fucking flip ok? I’ll be fine if we don’t talk about it , I promise I just.... I gotta go” she whispered, stepping backwards towards the street and nearly stumbling off the curb as she walked off, James shouting after her but she wasn’t listening.  She just couldn’t get into everything going on in her brain at the time.

She didn’t know how long she walked for.  Minutes or hours she wasn’t sure. It has been three days since her ‘front lawn screaming match’ and today was the day she’d finally get to meet her dad’s friends, which she was, at the very least, excited for.

Again though, she wasn’t excited for Stan to leave her.  She knew he’d want to visit, but she also couldn’t get rid of the nagging fear in her head that exactly what had happened to her dad would happen again.

He didn’t tell her point blank, but she had to wonder why she’d never heard of Richie before this trip, and she knew it had to be that her dad had forgotten about him.  Richie must have forgotten too. It just scared the fuck out of her to think that Stan might just forget again.

She lifted her phone to her ear, one hand on the strap of her backpack as she stared off at the empty street.

Her dad didn’t answer, which of course she hadn’t expected him to.  He was currently looking into teaching jobs for his degree at local schools, so she honestly didn’t want him to get her anyway.  It was more important for him to find a job. She kept walking as she pulled up Richie’s number.

“Ello…” she heard his voice answer, sounding sleepy and out of it as fuck.

“Richie, come get me please” she whispered, and she heard Richie shooting up on the other end of the line.  She had to scoff somewhat as she rubbed her eyes with her free hand. Of course Richie would still be sleeping at one in the fucking afternoon.

“Shit- I mean, crap, yeah of course, I-”

“Fuck Richie, just say fuck and move on, you guys are kidding yourselves by trying not to swear” she stammered, and she heard Richie let out a nasally breath as more rustling continued in the background.

“Sorry, yeah I’m coming, uhh… what’s the address?”

Becca made a face as she walked up to the street sign to figure that out.

“Uhhh… it’s um, Cherry Lane, yeah… uh, sorry, just get here when you can-”

“Wait, Bec, while I don’t know his address, I know for a fact that your friend didn’t live on that street, where are you-”

“JUST COME GET ME TRASHMOUTH, GOODBYE” Becca shouted, slamming her phone shut and letting out a stuttered breath as she made her way to the sidewalk.  She sat on the edge and put her head in her hands as she finally felt herself breakdown, her tears finally leaking from her eyes. She heard rustling from behind her and nearly launched herself off of the sidewalk, grabbing the knife from the side of her bag and pulling out the blade.

“HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK” the two voices shouted and Becca immediately flinched and retracted the blade with her thumb as she watched Diana and Karmen backing up, hands raised in defense as Martin jumped out of the bushes behind them before jumping back with a muffled “oh shit-”.

“YOU HAVE A FUCKING KNIFE? ARE YOU A CRAZY PERSON-” Diana yelled, Martin coming up behind her and hiding behind her form.

“YOU SNUCK UP ON ME, SORRY IF I’M ACTIVELY TRYING TO NOT DIE” Becca shrieked and Diana just glared at her wide eyed as she screamed “DIE FROM WHAT, FUCKING LOCAL RACCOONS-”

“Diana, calm down…” Karmen whispered, putting a hand on the shorter blonde’s shoulder. Diana just let out a long exhale and placed her hands together, closing her eyes in a form of meditative concentration.  Martin still just stood behind her in a state of mild panic and fear.

“Look, sorry I just…” Becca was still standing there with her eyes wet, mouth agape as she didn’t know what to say “I’m leaving, don’t worry, you guys don’t have to talk to me again if you don’t want to”.

“Becca, why are you being like this” Karmen asked softly, walking up to Becca and standing in front of her, looking down at her from the inches she possessed over Becca’s height (which admittedly was a lot, Karmen was somehow tall as shit for her age, and Becca possessed her father's glowing characteristic of 'short').

“I’m not being like anything, is it so bad that I don’t wanna fucking talk about it” Becca’s voice got harder as Karmen’s eyes narrowed at her, crossing her arms in iritation as they glared at one another.

“Yes because it is clearly bothering you and you’re bottling it up, and when we ask you to vent about your problems, you start trying to push us away. Why?”

“Yeah” Diana piped up, stepping up to Karmen’s side and crossing her arms with her in an attempt to try and fit the vibe “you’ve been acting like a complete asshole all day, and you made Martin cry-”

“Um, no she didn’t-” Martin tried to whisper before Diana raised her hand to silence him.

“It happened Martin, no need to feel shame” Diana whispered as Martin just blushed and looked away with his hands shoved in his hoodie.

“Look, I’m not- I just can’t talk about it without getting” she gestured vaguely with her hand as she attempted to find the words “without turning into a complete wreck, and my family is already worried enough as it is, and the last thing I want is to be a complete selfish bitch”.

Diana opened her mouth to speak before Karmen silenced her, holding a hand up in gesture for her to not speak as she stepped forward, moving towards Becca and pulling her into a loose hug as Becca just stared ahead at the bushes, blankly trying not to get emotional.

“This isn’t just about your mom is it Beccy…” Karmen whispered to her, rubbing her back in reassurance as Becca just closed her eyes in defeat, shaking her head and wrapping her own small arms around Karmen’s waist.

“No, its… it's very difficult to explain without sounding like a crazy person,” Becca said it so softly that only Karmen seemed to hear it and respond “we would never think of you as a crazy person Bec, even if you pulled a knife on us unintentionally… we promise not to think that of you”.

Becca backed out of the hug, putting the sheathed knife back into her backpack and pushing past them all to sit on the curb, placing her head into her hand.

“My dad and his current boyfriend survived something that gives them memory problems I think, and their other friend who I… fucking adore, which is shocking, because I typically don’t like people and I’ve been calling him my Uncle as a joke at first but I honestly mean it now, I’m… I’m scared he’ll forget about them, and then forget about me, and their introducing me to their other friends who also survived the same thing and… what if they forget me, or they don’t…” she trailed off as she stared at the street and Diana took the first initiative to walk over confidently and sit beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders loosely.

“Easy.  Just don’t let them forget you” Diana said, giving her a bright smile as Becca looked up at her with her eyes wide.

“I don’t think it's that simple.  They forgot eachother and they were apparantly close as fuck.  What does that make me-”

“First off, I never want to hear you talking bad about yourself again, and if I catch you slipping I’ll take that stupid fucking knife of yours and stab you myself.  Secondly, you aren’t them. If they have memory problems or alzheimers or whatever, you don’t. Just keep in touch with all of them yourself and don’t let them forget you” Diana practically exclaimed, like it was fucking genius.

“Yeah Bec! I cannot believe you didn’t consult us sooner, just keep them connected yourself.  Get all of their numbers and make sure to text them so they don’t forget. It’s hard to forget someone when they’re a constant annoyance-”

“Wow, rude-”

“You know what I mean Beccy, just… keep in touch, make sure to text them, if they forget, just remind them who you are, you’re not gonna lose them Becca”.

Becca let out a slow exhale as she nodded slowly, trying to relax herself before Richie got here.  She didn’t want him to worry.

“You’re right… fuck, of course you’re right, thats… I didn’t think about that”

“Of course you didn’t, you’re a genius planner, but when you get all angsty you don’t think straight, we’re a fucking team, right? You can trust us Becca, I know you’ve only been here for a month or so but-”

“We like you, and we don’t want you to push us away” Martin finished for her, giving her a smile as Becca grinned back, wiping her eyes gently as she leaned into Diana’s grip, grinning like a maniac just as a horn honked at them, causing her to flinch.

“DID YOU CALL ME TRASHMOUTH AND HANG UP ON ME BECCA, I’M GONNA GET YOUR DAD TO GROUND YOU” Richie yelled at her through the window of the passenger side of his car, and Becca just laughed at him as if the threat was a joke.

“Um, is your other dad gonna kill you” Martin asked her softly, his fear leaking through as Becca just lifted herself up off the curb and shrugged “I have my knife, he can damn well try-”

“WAS THAT A SWEAR-”

“OH MY GOD RICHIE, BEEP BEEP, SHUT UP, ok guys, I have to go but… thank you… I, that’s a good idea, I’m meeting their friends tonight so… I’ll get their phone numbers, I won’t let them forget each other again” Becca said softly as they all smiled back at her, giving her a thumbs up in response as Jame’s sprinted up behind them, finished pouting and freshly ready to argue again.

“BEC, ARE YOU SERIOUSLY LEAVING, I’M SORRY BUT I-”

“James, shut up, your late, we already handled it, she’s fine” Karmen whispered, turning her head and giving him a small pat on the shoulder as she brushed her long black hair out of her eyes.

“Oh uh… ok, I’LL DEMAND MY APOLOGY WHEN YOU RETURN BECCA”

Becca was already climbing into the passenger seat of Richie’s car as she flipped him off with a grin, Richie leaning closer to the opened door to shout “YOU SHOULD CALL HER TRASHMOUTH WHEN SHE’S BEING RUDE, IT’D BE POETIC JUSTICE”.

“I HATE YOU, NO THEY’LL DO IT-”

“OH SHIT, THAT’S GOOD, LATER TRASHMOUTH, GET ONLINE TONIGHT WHEN YOUR DONE BULLYING EVERYONE AT YOUR FAMILY DINNER”

She slammed the door shut and glared at Richie who was just smirking at her in victory.

“I hope you know you’ve just ruined my life, like permanently; my life is ruined forever and it is all your fault” Becca growled at him, and Richie just let his smirk grow in size as he turned back to the road, pulling out of the small cul de sac and driving back towards the hotel.

“Aww, don’t be such a downer, think of it as carrying on the title-”

“That’s the lamest title, I’d rather be called a corpse” Becca snarked at Richie grinned at her and ruffled her hair with his free hand.

“You woke me up to pick you up out of the blue and hung up on me, this is just punishment, in fact I won’t even get you grounded, because I’ve decided that this punishment is BETTER than groundings”.

“Jesus your an asshole-”

“You better watch that tone Trashmouth, don’t forget your the one who threatened me the first night we met” Richie shrugged lightly as he spoke, still staring ahead at the road as Becca just glared at him, turning in her seat “IT’S GOOD TO ESTABLISH FEAR IN A BLOSSOMING NEW CONNECTION” Richie’s eyes widened in an exaggerated, shocked expression as he looked at her through his glasses.

“GOOD TO ESTABLISH FEAR YOU NIGHTMARISH LITTLE SUPERVILLAIN... Ok, that's it, I’m stealing your verbal content for my standup” Becca’s eyes grew immediately at that “OH MY GOD YOUR EVIL”.

“Hey, regular punishment doesn’t work on you because you’re a literal demon, we’re getting creative.  Besides, I learned from the best; AKA you” Richie pulled into a gas station and parked the car, pulling himself out as Becca snapped her seatbelt off and followed him, her nostrils flaring in a way that really reminded him of Eddie.

“I hate you. I hate you. I seriously hate you.  Buy me a monster energy drink” she was muttering under her breath as she followed after Richie, who proceeded to pick up five small bags of doritos as he listened to her rant, basically ignoring her before finally pushing his glasses up and answering “do you think I’m trying to get beat up by your dad? No, I’m not getting you energy drinks, you can get soda, water, or you can dehydrate, it's up to you”.

“You’re hair is stupid and you’re not funny-”

“Don’t list things I already know, that’s my self-loathing brain’s job” Richie responded mindlessly as he made his way up to the cashier with a six-pack of beer and his chips, paying for it as Becca tapped her foot with crossed arms, scrunched up and pissed.  Richie couldn’t help but laugh internally to himself as she fumed.

They began walking back to the car, exiting the door with a bell ding, Becca following closely behind and nearly breaking the bell on the door with how hard she pushed it open. He opened his chips up and munched on them as he started to fill the tank up with gas when he noticed Becca wandering up behind him. Her eyes were narrowed at him as she pushed her hands into her jacket pockets and leaned against the car.

Richie just decided to keep filling the car up and ignore her death glare.  He had noticed that her eyes were somewhat red, and worried she was either smoking weed or she was crying recently.  He briefly wondered if her mom had shown up but she started to talk before he could even ask.

“I’m… sorry if I woke you up and all Richie, and for acting mean, I just… I was overreacting about stupid stuff and I was trying to get away from talking about it” Richie turned to look at her, his eyebrows raised slightly at that.

“It’s…. oh my god, Becca I’m not actually mad at you, you know.  Is that why you’re being such a little asshole right now? Because you feel guilty?”

“Oh uh…” her face turned red as she looked away with an irritated expression melting into her features “I don’t have to answer that without a lawyer present”.

Richie stared at her another moment as the car filled, before letting out a laugh at that, causing Becca to smile with him before he ruffled her hair again, leaning against the car next to her.

“I’m not mad Bec.  I needed to wake up, if your dad had been there he’d have called me a lazy piece of shit and forced me up anyway, you know how it goes” Richie was grinning at her as he spoke and she smiled next to him before staring off once again at the sheer nothing in front of her, and Richie’s expression quickly fell once again.

“Look kid, are you ok? You sounded really upset on the phone and your eyes are red” he whispered and she just shrugged, her hands not leaving her pockets.

“My friends helped me to calm down, I called because I’d snapped at them. I was being an asshole.  I just-” she cut off, not wanting to concern Richie, but continued on knowing full well that if she left it like this he’d worry anyway “I don’t want Stan to forget me, and I got scared he would”.

Richie’s eyebrows shot up his forehead at that, and he went to open his mouth before Becca interrupted him.

“Look, I’m not stupid and I listen.  Dad has talked to me about how he barely managed to remember you, and why have I never met you before, ya know? If you and my dad loved each other so much and on top of that there’s Stan, like you guys are so close, but I’ve never met him, and Mike, your friend who you read those messages from? That caused Stan to have a full on nervous breakdown-”

“Bec, sweetie you gotta breath-”

“Don’t tell me to fucking breath, Stan didn’t remember you, and your friend Mike sounded shocked that you even remembered him, and I know it has something to do with that fucking clown-”

Richie’s mouth opened in shock at that.

“You know about the clown…” Richie all but whispered it but Becca quickly rolled her eyes with the most bewildered expression as she pulled a hand out of her jacket and scratched her head in irritation.

“Of course I do Richie, dad and I talked about it and even if we hadn’t, I think you forget I was present for all of your freakouts with Stan about IT, you guys literally said ‘IT’, again I’m not a fucking moron” Becca babbled and Richie just shook his head, readjusting his glasses and trying to calm his own breathing before responding.

“Ok… uh, yeah… I can’t really explain the memory stuff but… I guarantee you Becca, we aren’t gonna forget about you-”

“What is it, distance? Do you slowly just forget with time? I don’t get it, I just… I don’t have a lot in my life, ok? I had friends in New York but my mom was so overbearing that I never really got to just enjoy being with them, and on top of that, the only family I’ve ever had was dad, and now I feel like everything is so great because I have you, and Stan, and you talk about your old friends and they sound so cool, and what if I like them and get attached just for… just for all of them to forget me” she trailed off, shaking her head and staring off into the distance as Richie tried to find words.

“Your not from Derry” Becca’s ears perked up and she looked at him staring down at her with a somewhat bittersweet smile “Bec, you aren’t from Derry, I don’t think it affects people who weren’t in range of the clown, and you didn’t even exist when it was around, we were kids… even if… I don’t plan to let myself forget your dad ever again, but god forbid I did, Bec I’d still remember you… I’m nearly certain”.

Becca looked up at him with a sense of dread at his honesty.  Somehow, this reveal wasn’t very reassuring though. 

Until she remembered her friends advice.

“Fuck, I can be your link” Richie stared at her in confusion as her eyes widened and she began to form a smile, looking up at Richie brightly “I can be your fucking link”.

“Um, what?”

Becca grinned wider and ran up to Richie, jumping onto him and hugging him as Richie staggered backwards, adjusting to having to support her weight.

“Bec, that’s great news sweetie, but I don’t know what the fuck that means” Becca just shook her head at him as if he was stupid for not realizing.

“You all are gonna meet me right? And I know that Mike is busy being the hero and studying evil demonic clowns, and he wasn’t even sure about everyone reconnecting anyway, right? So I’ll do it, my friends suggested it to me too, I’ll just keep in touch with everyone, or they can use me to remember you guys, because I’m not from Derry-”

“Beccy, I think your thinking too in depth with this, I don’t think we’ll all forget you, and I don’t think Mikey is gonna let us all forget again-”

“Just… when they get here, please? Please let me keep in touch with everyone I… I’ll worry otherwise and I… I just don’t want to lose any of you” Richie frowned at that, hugging her closer and rubbing her head in reassurance.

“Yeah ok Bec, do what you need to do to be happy- besides, the other Loser’s are gonna love you, they’ll probably demand to keep in touch anyway” Richie said to her, dropping her back down to the ground with a wide grin as Becca’s eyes widened.

“You really think so” she shouted as she made her way back around the car, cutting under Richie’s arm to get to the passengers seat.  Richie had to feel sad for a moment that she could ever think they wouldn’t love her.

“Becca, they’re gonna fucking adore you” he whispered, taking another bite of his doritos before he climbed into the drivers seat, tossing her the bag with a quick “here catch”.

She began to eat some of the chips from the bag herself with a big fucking smile.  

“Your busting out the softly spoken ‘fuck’ word, so it must be true” she continued on as if the conversation had never gotten heavy, and Richie grinned to himself at that.  

“Yeah, I just wanted you to believe it, because it’s one hundred and ten percent true Bec, when we meet them for dinner tonight they are gonna love you”.

Becca smiled to herself as she continued to eat, Richie moving his arm to ruffle her hair again before she grinned at him.

“I really like you Richie, I’m glad your with my dad and… and I’m glad I met you,” she said to him, trying to recreate the same genuine tone that Richie had given her.  Trying to push her point. Richie just smiled at her fondly as he moved his hand back to the steering wheel.

“Me too Bec, honestly… me too”

Chapter Text

Eddie was combing his hair in the bathroom while Richie desperately looked at his newest shirt in the mirror, trying to determine whether it was too much or just the perfect level of too much; all the while Becca just looked back and forth at them like they were both insane people.

“Ed’s, do you think this outfit looks to flashy, I really like the ‘trying to act cool for the parent teacher conference’ look but I also don’t want to frighten off everybody” Eddie made a scrunched up face of irritation before muttering “you’re gonna do that anyway dear”.

Richie looked up at the ceiling in thought as that idea occurred to him.

“Oh yeah…”

“Could you two hurry up, I’ve been ready for the past half an hour- Christ, and everyone gets on girls for being the time-consuming ones” Becca muttered, playing on her DS once again after giving up on trying to hurry them out.  They were clearly gonna take twenty years, so she figured she’d get some dungeons done before they left.

“We’re hurrying as fast as we can Bec, not all of us just throw on an outfit and call it a day- speaking of which, did you comb your hair” Eddie asked her and she just looked up from her game and glared at him as Eddie rose an eyebrow at her, because her hair was sticking up in a multitude of directions and he could ABSOLUTELY tell she hadn’t.

“It looked fine, I combed it a few hours ago” Becca tried to demand before Richie audibly laughed at her “wait, before or after you stuck your head out of the window like a dog on the ride home, because I promise you your hair was significantly less windswept before the drive-”

“God, your both so old and annoying, I’ll go brush my hair… Jesus Christ” she growled, throwing her DS on the bed and lumbering out of the room and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her as she left Richie to start giggling profusely as Eddie just shook his head at him.

“You know, her hair honestly wasn’t that bad Ed’s” Richie smirked, looking up at him as Eddie grinned a little more, giving his cologne a spray and putting it back down on the hotel desk as he began walking over to him, pressing his forehead into Richie’s shoulder.

“I know, I just wanted a moment alone with you” Eddie whispered, and Richie felt his heart drop, putting both his arms around Eddie’s shoulders and holding him against his chest.

“Yeah? Aw, baby, if you wanted the goods, all you had to do was ask-”

“And the moment is gone, great job you dick” Eddie managed to mutter as he tried to shove Richie back, unable to separate his head from Richie’s chest though as Richie grinned and hugged him tighter.

“Never, I am nothing but a pure romantic, I watch the Hallmark movies” Richie said as Eddie’s nose wrinkled in disgust “god, really? I’ve called you disgusting a multitude of times in my life Trashmouth, but I have to say I think we’ve reached the peak with that statement-”.

“Wow, first its ‘wow Richie isn’t funny’ now it's ‘wow, Richie has bad taste in romance and a fantastic body’-”

“I never said that-”

“I can’t win with you Eddie, I’m broken to my core, my heart wrenched, I-”

Eddie decided he’d had enough as he pushed himself up slightly to shut Richie up with a kiss.  Richie only staggered for a moment in shock before he pushed forward, smiling into the kiss as he turned his head to the side for a better angle.

Eddie pushed his hand into Richie’s hair, playing with the soft curls as Richie placed a hand on Eddie’s cheek, not even really doing anything just enjoying the feeling of holding Eddie in his hand. 

It was everything he ever wanted.

Richie had to pull back though, trying his best to ignore Eddie’s quiet whine as he disconnected from him, still holding his cheek in his hands.

“Eddie baby, as much as I’m loving this? I hate to put a cog in your brilliant ‘get Becca out of the room scheme so I can make out with my really hot boyfriend’-”

“Jesus Christ Richie-”

“But I hate to inform you that the act of brushing your hair doesn’t actually take that long, and Becca is probably gonna be back any min-”

“HOWDY HO LOVING FAMILY, YA’LL BEING GAY IN HERE?”

Richie actually had to audibly laugh as he watched Eddie’s expression immediately die on his face.

“Trying to be sweetheart, does your hair look less like a rats nest" Eddie asked, pulling slightly out of Richie’s arms so he could look at her, but Richie maintained a loose grip, pulling one hand back to rest in his pocket and leaving the other to lay loosely over Eddie’s shoulder.  Becca just smirked at them, not even phased by Eddie’s clear irritation.

“You know what I noticed in that bathroom is that my hair actually had a cute messy thing going on, which you’ve destroyed for me because I had to comb it, but I also realized that you just said that to get rid of me” Becca was grinning like a fucking cheshire cat as Eddie’s eyebrows shot up and Richie just turned to look at Eddie awkwardly.

“Uhhh…” Eddie tried to find words, but Becca rose a hand in interruption, still grinning as she looked up at Eddie.

“No need to go into the dramatic waterworks of ‘oooh nooo Beccy, we’d neeeeever do that to you, how could you eveeeer assume that’ nah, its cool, I just came back here to get my DS and I’ll be out of your hair, I was actually going to just wait in the car, but please keep your gross romantic bullshit to a speedy twenty minute limit, because it's already almost five and we promised to be there at five thirty, and that’s not even accounting for the traffic, which you know will add time to the driv- sorry, I’ll shut up” she said with a small shrug, ending her rant and pushing herself onto the bed to grab her DS before swiftly making her way back to the entrance, not even waiting for Eddie to say anything as she yelled “LATER YOU OLD NERDS” on her way out of the door.

Richie and Eddie both just stood there, baffled and faces red out of their minds from embarrassment.

“Uh…”

“Wow…”

They both just looked at each other and laughed for a moment, Eddie placing his free hand over his mouth in shock all the while Richie had just turned to look at Eddie, noticing a stray strand of hair in Eddie’s face and swiftly brushing it back into its slicked back collective.  Why he had decided to put so much shit in his hair, Richie had no idea. All he could think was how absolutely precious Eddie looked though.

“She’s uhh… sorry, I feel like I keep apologizing-”

Richie decided to cut Eddie off and kiss him once again, moving his hand carefully down from Eddie’s hair so as not to mess it up.

“It’s fine Ed’s, I just forget how aware of things she is sometimes, she’s really fucking smart" Richie was smiling brightly down at Eddie as he grinned right back up at him, an almost proud look in his eyes “yeah, she is isn’t she”.

They stood there for a moment, just basking in being alone together for a few moments.  Ever since they’d been staying at the hotel, they hadn’t really had a moment by themselves, which kind of sucked because Richie could think of a thousand things he wanted to do to Eddie with just a smidge of privacy.  They wanted to give it more time though before they went back to Richie’s place. He’d stopped by to feed his cat everyday, and Richie would sometimes work there for a bit just to see if there was any suspicious activity, but so far there was nothing.

He figured they might have lucked out.  Maybe Myra had just dropped it and moved on.

Out of respect for Becca’s paranoia though, they’d been staying here with Stan, which was great because they all were less than a minute away to see eachother but it was also less great when Richie just reeeaally wanted to pin his boyfriend to the wall for a minute or two.

“I uh… we can go if you want, I just missed you a bit I guess” Eddie told him and Richie just gave him a lopsided grin, moving forward to kiss Eddie’s cheek before whispering “you have me Ed’s” into his ear, and he felt a great deal of pride when he felt Eddie shiver.

“Yeah, I know, its extremely distracting” Eddie groaned, pushing himself away from Richie and moving to the bed, throwing himself down to lie on his back and staring up at the ceiling, careful to lay his head gently down so as not to ruin his hair.  Richie didn’t move; just leaned against the wall and grinned.

“Aw Eddie, I know my bristling abs are a bit distracting but-”

“You need to stop with that shit, ironically enough, though it's not your abs, you don’t have those-”

“Gee, thanks, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside Eddie”

“No, shut up, its your arms and your annoying fucking thighs that get me, and your stupid fucking face, and that hair Richie, what the fuck I love your fucking hair, jesus christ you don’t even realize how attractive you are, its always ‘cute’ this and ‘precious’ that when your talking about me; you don’t even get how hot you are Richie” 

Richie had… no words.

He couldn’t even bring himself to do any crazy romcom shit like pin Eddie to the bed in a fit of passion or anything just… he instead just stood there, probably looking like a complete idiot; just baffled at the words with his mouth slightly agape as if he were trying to be a flycatcher and Eddie just stared at him.

“Oh my god, do you really not believe me” Eddie asked him, and Richie shot his eyes up to meet Eddie’s, arms crossed and staring as he breathed a little too heavily.

“Um, I just… I don’t know, I guess I’m just not used to it” his mouth squeaked a bit in a way it hadn’t since he was a kid when he reached the end of the sentence, feeling his hand mindlessly readjust his glasses as he felt his whole chest clench at the look Eddie was giving him; eyebrows furrowed in a mixture of shock and concern.

“Baby…” Eddie whispered, sitting up from the bed and moving over to Richie to pull him into a hug, trying his best to hold Richie despite their obvious size difference.  Richie didn’t even care that it was slightly uncomfortable, he just loved being held by Eddie.

“You’re cute as fuck Richie” Eddie grinned up at him, moving his hands to Richie’s cheek as Richie’s eyes immediately got bigger at the realization of what Eddie was about to do.

“No-”

“Cute, cute, cute, right?” Eddie whispered, pinching his cheek, but it wasn’t the same as when Richie did it to Eddie, all loudly spoken bravado and squeezing Eddie’s cheeks to get a rise.  Eddie did it so fucking tenderly, so full of honesty, and Richie found it hard to breath as he stared at him, almost collapsing into him as he kissed him again. Eddie placed his hands on both sides of Richie’s head, burying his fingers in Richie’s curls and pulling slightly as Richie made a noise.

“Jesus, Eddie…”

“And that is all you’re getting Trashmouth, we have to go” he smirked as Richie just stared at him in what could almost be compared to horror.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME EDDIE, YOU CAN’T GIVE ME A BODY POSITIVITY SPEECH AND PULL MY HAIR JUST TO BACK DOWN-”

Eddie was just laughing at his yelling, so Richie abruptly closed his mouth and narrowed his eyes at him in annoyance.

“You’re cruel, you are just… wow you’re the worst”

“I’m cute though”

“Cute yet evil” Richie muttered as he shook his head and grinning as Eddie laughed at him, moving forward and pushing himself up on his toes so he could kiss Richie’s cheek at closer to an eye level distance.

“Come on, we have to go” Eddie said with a small grin, taking Richie’s hand in his as Richie just stared at him, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

“Jesus, your rolling your eyes like a five year old, come on get excited! We’re about to see everyone again for the first time in fucking years Richie.  We’re going to get to see Ben’s abs in person-”

“See, now you have me trapped between a rock and a hard place Eduardo, because as badly as I want to see Ben’s abs, if YOURS are on the table…”

Eddie snorted, shaking his head at Richie “I don’t have abs dude” and he watched as Richie’s eyes widened in shock, then bewilderment as he moved his hand and poked Eddie’s stomach to prove his point, making eye contact with Eddie when his hand didn’t budge.

“Feel that Eddie, that’s your abdomen, feel how its hard-”

“Oh my god, shut the fuck up-”

“Guess what those are Eddie, those are abs”

“Fuck you, I swear… and you call me evil; it’s called dieting and working out regularly you dick, maybe if you drank less and quit smoking cigarrettes you’d have some muscle volume too, but you’re too busy being an unfunny prick sent to torture me throughout my day” Eddie half-shouted, gesturing to Richie sharply with both his hands as Richie smirked at him, grabbing one of his hands in his, his other still resting on Eddie’s chest.

“Hey, God made me the way I am, and God does not make mistakes, so therefore I was made perfect-”

“Do not poorly quote God to me as an excuse for your fucking horniness and poor nutritional habits Richie” Eddie said, shaking his head in disbelief as he finally managed to shove passed him, looking in the mirror one more time and brushing his hair back once again before grabbing the room key and turning back to look at Richie who was just staring at him with so much fucking adoration it made Eddie blush.

“Uh, you coming-”

“I really fucking love you” Richie whispered to him, making eye contact that almost knocked Eddie on his ass as he looked back at Richie fondly.

“I love you too dickhead, come on, quit fucking distracting me… again” he muttered as he forced himself to turn, pushing the door open as Richie followed behind, grabbing Eddie’s free hand and intertwining it in his own.

“Oy, lead on den’ Eduardo” Richie practically yelled in a horrid British accent as Eddie groaned in annoyance, growling out a quick “fucking shut your mouth Richie”.

They got downstairs and made their way to the car, noticing Becca sitting in the backseat with her legs dangling out of the car, not even looking up from her game as Stanley stood there talking blanky to her about birds.  Richie almost felt bad for Stanley, he really seemed to think Becca was listening.

“Hey guys, there you are” Stan yelled at them with a wave and Becca’s head shot up as she glared at them, standing up in the door of the car to screech “I SAID TWENTY MINUTES TOPS, YOU WERE UP THERE FOR EXACTLY TWENTY TWO MINUTES, WHAT THE HELL”.

Richie just laughed while Eddie screeched back at her.

“BECCA GET YOUR FEET OFF THE SEAT OF THE CAR, IT’S A RENTAL”

Richie made his way to Stan while Eddie and Becca began to bicker.

“Where are we meeting them at” Richie asked and Stan pulled out his phone to look at the agreed location “some Chinese place, I don’t know, we all took a vote on what food to get and everyone voted on Chinese, I have the address right here” Stan held the phone up for Richie, who quickly pulled his own phone out and jotted down the name.

“Cool… fuck, I almost feel nervous, its been so long” Richie mumbled absently as Stan nodded in agreement “yeah but… if its anything like it was with us, I figure we’ll all be just fine, fall back into a routine, ya know?”

“Yeah…”

“Plus, I’m pretty sure they're gonna mainly be freaking out about Bec, so if we run out of things to talk about, we can all just dote over her” Richie grinned at Stan’s words “see Stanley, this is why you're the common sense half of the collective” Stanley nodded in response.

“You’ve got that right, that’s the first time you’ve ever said something smart in your life Trashmouth, congratulations” Stan gave him a smile and patted his shoulder while Richie grinned to himself.

“Hey, I’m not actually dumb” Richie tried to retort and Stan just smirked at him “no, you actually aren’t, you just like to not think and pine after your best friend for years, so I get to tease you as if you are”.

Richie tried to think of a valid response but literally Stanley was absolutely right about that so he really had nothing to retort.

Though he did kinda hate that Stan got to smirk victoriously.

“Fine, fuck whatever, lets just hold that on me till the grave, are we leaving or what?”

“YEP, LETS GO, I’VE BEEN WAITING ALL DAY FOR THIS” Becca shouted, wearing what she considered to be her finest dinnerware.  It honestly just consisted of a red spiderman hoodie and a black skirt to match, but to be fair, it was the first time her clothes had ever matched in the time Richie had known her, so it was certainly a valiant effort.

They all climbed into their cars, Stan driving separate as they all made their way to the restaurant.  Becca bitched for a bit about how she wanted Italian instead, but once Eddie was able to explain to her that Lo Mein was noodles she began to climb back on board.

“What did you even think Lo Mein was dummy” 

“It’s chicken, right?”

“Sweetie…”

Richie drove silently for the most part, occasionally listening in on the bickering, but mainly just nervous.  He could feel his hands sweating on the steering wheel as they pulled up to the parking lot, Stan having beaten them there because his car was already in the parking lot.  By the looks of it though, he must have already gone inside.

Richie parked the car slowly, somewhat to the far end of the lot, pulling his seatbelt off as Becca practically shot out of the car.  

“Rich, you ready” Eddie asked him and Richie let out a quick exhale as he nodded, letting the steering wheel go and opening his own door as Eddie followed after him.  Rich started to desperately hope that the flamingo shirt wasn’t too much as they began to walk towards the door; wildly enough though Eddie seemed calm as hell, not even batting an eye as they made their way towards the door.

“How can you not be nervous” he asked Eddie anxiously, and Eddie just grinned at him.

“I am dipshit, but I also didn’t wear a flamingo shirt so I figured at least I’m not you-”

“Goddamnit, I knew I shouldn’t have worn the shirt-”

“Nah Rich” Eddie started, patting his shoulder reassuringly “come on, it's super you , they’ll recognize you immediately”.

“Maybe I overdid it, shit sorry I’m just a little nervous today I guess and-”

“Here” Eddie cut him off as he began to slip off his tan brown cardigan, leaving him in his own maroon button up as he placed the cardigan loosely over Richie’s shoulders “just wear this Rich, that way it’ll mute some of the color”.

To be honest, Richie really wasn’t that nervous about the shirt, it was just something to latch onto so he could get his anxiety out. 

However, knowing it would lead to Eddie giving him his cardigan, he had no qualms with Eddie thinking he was nervous about the outgoing pattern.

And it did actually mute the color a bit while still matching.

“Oh, thanks, are you sure you won’t get cold” Richie asked him and Eddie shook his head “nah, I hate sweating, makes me feel gross, and most restaurants keep their air conditioning on too high for me, so I’m not very concerned”.

“Right… thanks Ed's” Richie nodded, taking Eddie’s hand in his and opening the front door to the restaurant. 

Chapter Text

“RICHIE, EDDIE, OH MY GOD” Ben shouted from inside the small waiting room leading to the lobby of the restaurant, shouting at them nearly the second Richie stepped in through the door.  He barely even had a second to react before both he and Eddie were pulled into a tight hug. 

“BEN, HOLY SHIT MAN, YOU LOOK GREAT, YOUR SO HOT NOW, WHAT ARE YOU A MODEL” Richie shouted back with equal excitement, grabbing Ben and embracing the hug whole-heartedly, all the while Eddie just patted his shoulder as Ben squeezed them both.  Ben laughed at his question.

“Model? ME? Ha, that’s… I can tell why your a comedian, that was good but no… no, I work in architecture actually-”

“Fuck off Ben, you could do it, I mean Jesus have you seen yourself in a mirror? Me and Eddie couldn’t shut up about you for weeks. It really isn’t a stretch, but honestly architecture fits you more, you always did like that kind of thing, nice... do you like it?”

“Yeah Rich, I really, really do, its… its great” he nodded vigorously as he pulled back to look at them both “wow, you guys really do look great; you look happy, I’m so happy FOR you guys”.

Eddie blushed beside him and Richie just pinched his cheek affectionately “yeah, Eddie Spaghetti has been the light of my life these past few months- though he’s always been that but… well you know” he released Eddie’s cheek after Eddie attempted what almost looked to be a karate chop in order to pry Richie off of him.

“EDDIE, WHY WOULD YOU ATTACK ME IN FRONT OF BENJAMIN-”

“Pinch my cheek in public again and I’ll body slam you into a wall right before I break up with you-” Richie gasped in exaggeration at Eddie’s words.

“Oh sorry, I forgot, that move is only for the bedroom, how could I forget Spaghetti-”

“Fuck you I’m leaving you for Ben” Richie immediately laughed loudly as Ben just blushed furiously in return, scratching the back of his head in an awkward stance “wow, Stan was right, you two really haven’t changed, have you”.

They both turned to look at Ben who was just smiling fondly at them and they both immediately shuffled awkwardly at those words.

“Aww that’s… yeah, apparently we’re morons for not having hooked up sooner- I mean, even Eddie’s daughter-” Richie froze, immediately spinning around like an idiot in the waiting room of the restaurant to look for Becca “shit, Eddie, where did our little demon go”.

“She ditched us like… immediately when she saw Stan standing inside the restaurant with the others, so she’s in there with him. Don’t worry, she didn’t hear you kinkshaming me in front of Ben” Richie let out an immediate exhale of relief at Eddie’s words.

“Oh thank God, sorry I’m so shit at censoring myself-”

“Don’t worry. I know” Eddie said, shaking his head in annoyance as Richie grinned at him, and then at Ben, who was staring inside the restaurant awkwardly, somewhat hunched over and zoned out.  Richie frowned slightly at that.

“You ok there Ben” Richie asked, causing Eddie to go from looking at Richie, to immediately proceed to look up at Ben in concern.

“Oh, uhh yeah I just… you know, I haven’t even gone in yet” Ben chuckled awkwardly, hand moving up to scratch the back of his neck as he stared inside the door window.  Richie almost immediately knew what he was staring at. Or better, who.

“Oh my god, are you nervous about seeing Beverly?”

Ben turned to glare at Richie but judging by the red that was forming on Ben’s face, he knew he was right.

“OH MY GOD, YOU’RE JUST LIKE ME, WE DID THE SAME SHIT, YOU’VE BEEN PINING AND SINGLE FOR YEARS-”

“Please never compare me to you with that sentence ever again Richie, I’m begging you” Ben shook his head and laughed in almost a self-deprecating manor.  Richie knew it all too well.

“First off; rude.  That’s what I’ll kick this off with.  Just rude. SECONDLY, come on Ben, its Bev, there's nothing to be nervous about-”

“I opened the door for her and she didn’t really... like not a lot was said and… I… I just didn’t know what to think; I know she’s married, or-”

“Jesus Ben, have you been keeping up with the groupchat, WAS, she WAS married” Ben immediately perked his head up at that.

“I… I don’t text much, and you guys text so often that I miss things sometimes, I had to mute the chat just to function- wait, she was…?”

Eddie finally jumped in, stepping forward.

“Me and Bev talked for a few hours in the chat about our marriages… turns out we kind of both married our parents” Eddie told him bluntly, watching as Ben’s face morphed with understanding.

“He hit her?”

Eddie’s face got grim and he awkwardly nodded, not able to look Ben in the eyes.

“Yeah man, Eddie talked to her for a good while the other night; talked about his own experiences with…” Richie couldn’t bring himself to say that woman's name “anyway, yeah, after a bit she seemed to realize that ever since we all reconnected she couldn’t keep pretending everything was ok and she left him.  Eddie here stayed on the phone with her while she snuck out with her stuff; she’s good though! She said she was staying at a hotel where she was living until she could figure something else out”.

Ben’s face was unreadable as he turned around to look back inside the restaurant.  Richie felt for him. Probably because not a month ago he was him.

“Look man, Bev fucking adored you; you know she used to carry that stupid poem you wrote for her everywhere? By the way, that is Hallmark levels of corny but- come on man, if anyone can give you a peptalk here its me and Ed’s, the two of us collectively both needed an intervention from a fucking twelve year old and goddamn Stanley in order to get over our shit-”

“Wow, thanks…”

“Nah, I’m just… come on man, there's nothing to be scared of, it's Beverly .  No matter what, she will alwaysfucking adore you, I mean come on, you were her fucking favorite-”

“Pretty sure that was Bill” and there it was, Eddie and Richie both fell silent for just a moment as Ben looked back over at them, and in that moment Richie realized he still looked the same.  Despite the beard and the new look and GOD; THOSE ABS. He was still that sweet, shy kid he was back then. Richie could hardly believe he hadn’t changed despite all his success and all his accomplishments.  That he hadn’t at least developed confidence in himself.

He decided that was fucked up, and he and Eddie would GIVE Ben that confidence if it cost them their right hands.  

“Dude, Bill has the attention span of a gerbil, I love him to death but Bill and Bev? That was like… a match made out of convenience.  You know I have really good listening skills? Like a bat, you know-”

“He doesn’t but-” Eddie interrupted before Richie turned to glare at him, sticking up a hand in defense “Shut up Ed’s, my point is that before she moved; after the pact, she and I hung out to sorta… get closure? I’ll be the first to say me and Bev got off on the wrong foot, and we hung out to sorta clear the air between us.  We mainly just smoked cigarettes in the woods together while she told me about Bill, and I told her about Eddie; do you wanna know what she said?”

Ben stared at him like he was pained but nodded as he stared at his feet.

“She said that Bill wasn’t the one.  Despite the kiss and everything, it was a fond memory for her, one she’d cherish but… she said she asked him about poetry the day everyone cleaned her bathroom, you know, because she wanted to know if Bill was the one who wrote YOUR poem and Bill said he knew nothing about poetry, because obviously he doesn’t, he’s fucking Bill, again, I love him to death but he’s NOT the romantic ‘write you love letters and pine after you for years’ type, and after that she immediately knew it wasn’t him; so that’s why it didn’t feel right to her…” Ben was staring up at Richie now tensely, hands shoved in his pocket as he tried to calm himself down.

“Really…?”

Richie smiled sadly at Ben as he put both his hands on Ben’s shoulders and nodded furiously.

“Yes Ben, and when she showed me the poem, because she had it in her bag and she showed me, I remembered seeing it at the quarry the day I was digging through the shit in your bag, and I remembered and told her it was you-”

Ben immediately froze at that, his face going even more red than before, he almost looked scared.

“Um… what… what did she say-” Richie just gave him a reassuring smile.

“She just grinned at first, and she smiled a lot… she asked ‘really’ a couple of times, like in disbelief and then she said she wished she’d known sooner, you know, before she had to move to Portland, because she was leaving the next morning and she told me that she wished that you two could have given it a shot” Eddie looked between Richie and Ben as Ben seemed to be on the edge of a nervous breakdown, nodding like a crazy person with his face beet fucking red.  

“Fuck… do you think she remembers that…” Ben asked nervously, and Richie shrugged casually, releasing his shoulders and taking a step back to stand next to Eddie again, his hands in his pockets “I don’t know Ben, why don’t you ask her?”

Eddie grinned at Ben in reassurance, then at Richie who was just smiling at Ben with this confident look in his eyes, like he knew Ben would succeed. Ben just let out a long exhale in an attempt to calm himself down.

“Shit uh… ok, I will… not right now obviously because… well the other Loser’s and all but… fuck, I’ll do it.  I just- thanks you guys, just…” he looked teary eyed as he stepped up to Richie and Eddie once again and wrapping both his arms around their shoulders, somehow hugging more tightly than before as Eddie wheezed slightly in his grip.

“Christ Ben, I’m touched but this is a step away from a chokehold-” immediately Ben released them both putting his hands up in panic “sorry, I forget sometimes, I got caught up but um… yeah, do you guys wanna go in?”

“Yeah do you? Jesus Christ, I had to introduce MYSELF to YOUR friends, I mean what the hell is that” Becca shouted at them in the doorway, having peeked her head through as Richie and Eddie turned their attention to her, Ben turning around with his eyebrows raised in shock.  He pulled a hand up to point at Becca in the doorway.

“That’s your daughter right Eddie” Ben asked with a grin, and Eddie just rolled his eyes and nodded.

“Yep, and apparently she’s off to a great start with first impressions-”

Ben walked up to the doorway, opening it so that Becca wasn’t holding it open as he stepped inside, kneeling down just slightly.

“Hey, I’m Ben, it's a pleasure to meet you” he grinned at her, raising a hand up to give Becca a high five, which she immediately jumped on board for, slamming her own hand into Ben’s.

“OH SHIT, you’re the one my annoying dads wouldn’t shut up about, you really do have muscles” she yelled at him, moving her hand to grip his forearm and squeezing “what’s your workout routine, I wanna get buff so that everyone at school fears me-”

Ben stared at her, mouth hanging open and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion before he turned his head slightly to look at Richie and Eddie; Richie trying to hide the laughter behind the hand covering his mouth as Eddie just shook his head in embarrassment.

“Um… interesting motivations but yes, I can give you pointers, though you might be a bit young to start bench-pressing. It’s Becca right?”

Becca nodded furiously as Ben grinned at her.

“Well Becca, it's great to meet you, here let's go meet the rest of the group,” he said, lifting himself back up to his full height as Becca smiled and followed after him “I’ve already met them but hell yeah why not”.

Richie and Eddie followed after the two of them to spot everyone standing in a small circle.  Beverly was talking with Stan while Bill and Mike were in their own discussion, Mike smiling at Bill as he talked about whatever the fuck it was they were talking about.  Richie couldn’t resist ruining their discussions.

“SUP GANG, WE PARTYING TONIGHT OR WHAT” he shouted, and they all immediately turned to the two of them and grinned widely as Eddie hit his shoulder with a quick “we’re in public dipshit, quit fucking shoutin-”

“HOLY SHIT” they all practically shrieked, moving over to hug them tightly as Eddie let out a quick “nevermind, I guess we’re all shouting” before finally falling into the hug, wrapping his arms around both Richie and Mike’s waist, who had made his way to the right of them.  It was like fucking magic. Eddie never thought he could miss something so much.

Once again he was proven wrong.

They could have been there fucking hours and Eddie wouldn’t have known.  Richie was grinning like an idiot to the left of him, and he swore that Richie was teary eyed, but in the collection of bodies he really couldn’t tell.

“Ben, it's been so long, how have you been” Richie heard Bev whispering excitedly and he smiled a little at that, deciding to pull away slightly to look at everyone.

They all looked the same, despite the changes and the age.  He could still differentiate everyone. It was like a day hadn’t gone by at all.

“Holy shit, why did everyone in the group get hot but me, I swear Pennywise cast a fucking revenge curse-”

Everyone’s faces fell slightly at the mention of the clowns name, and Richie immediately felt like an idiot, raising both his hands up to calm everyone down “shit sorry, beep beep Richie, I see we’re embracing the Harry Potter lore of ‘he who shall not be named’, no problem I can do that” he nodded, and Mike looked grim.

“It… it is something we should talk about but… maybe just not yet, why don’t we all sit down” Mike responded softly, trying his best to be reassuring as he gestured towards the tables; everyone seemed to nod in agreement.  

They sat down in a private room that Bill had apparently rented.  Becca followed next to Richie and Eddie as they sat down, Stan coming in to the right of them as everyone found seats.  Richie had to smile to himself as he watched Bev sit next to Ben.

“So, oh my god, Eddie and Richie, congrats on finally hooking up you guys, I mean jesus ...” Bev said excitedly as the rest of the Loser’s clapped and whooped along with her.  Richie couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face as he wrapped an arm around Eddie’s shoulder.

“He saw how hot I’d become and he knew he couldn’t resist-” he internally was laughing as he watched as Eddie’s face contorted with annoyance, gesturing with his hand as he tried to push a point across.

“If you’re not careful, you’ll be single by the end of it-”

“You wouldn’t dare, remember? You like my hair too much… and my arms… and my thigh-”

“He’s single now you guys, nothing to congratulate, it was a good run but he couldn’t keep his fucking Trashmouth shut” Eddie shook his head in mock disappointment as the others all laughed at them, Mike muttering a quick “and I thought you guys were bad before...” as Bill was just holding his chest as he laughed at them.

“You two are absolutely disgusting, I’m moving in with Uncle Stan” Becca muttered, arms uncrossing as she moved her hand to fistbump Stan who just stared at her fist awkwardly, muttering a quick “I don’t know what that means” as she scoffed at him.

“Nevermind, I’m moving to the streets to become homeless-”

“Becca, move in with me, we can have girl time away from these idiots-” Becca and Beverly both kindly ignored Richie’s offended ‘HEY’ before Beverly continued “OH I meant to tell you, I swear to god you are just the spitting image of Eddie, and not just appearance; you have his mannerisms which is insane, you even have his shriek” Beverly said to her with a soft grin, though clearly the reaction she got was not the one she was expecting as Becca’s eyebrows furrowed in anger and she pointed accusingly at Beverly “HE’S OLD AND DUMB, I DO NOT HAVE HIS SHRIEK-”

“Holy shit Bev, you’re right, she does have his shriek, that was it” Bill joined in, holding his beer to his chest and eyeing Becca in awe as Ben giggled along slightly “it’s like being teleported back in time, I remember Eddie’s high-pitched yelling like it was yesterday-”

“That’s because it WAS yesterday, and he was yelling at me” Richie couldn’t help his quip as Eddie immediately turned to glare at him amongst the other Loser’s losing their shit.

“WOW, AREN’T YOU FUCKING CLEVER , WHAT A JOKE THAT WAS, HA HA HA, BUT YOU’RE LEAVING OUT THE PART WHERE YOU USED MY TOOTHBRUSH BEFORE I YELLED AT YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE-”

“He swore you guys, we gotta kill him” Becca smirked once again, holding up a fist for Stan, though this time Stanley did attempt to react (if not badly as he wrapped his hand around her fist and shook it before letting it go, causing Becca to turn to him frowning in confusion).

“I swear though, you really are just like him though, that's not a bad thing, you’re dad is the absolute best” Beverly finally finished her thought as Becca turned back from Stan to cross her arms, smiling at Beverly with confidence “yeah, I know” Eddie had to smile at Becca, pulling her in for a hug and kissing her forehead as she shrieked again “FUCKING UNHAND ME” the other Loser’s just aww’ing and cooeing them while Becca yelled.

Richie felt so fucking at ease that he was shocked to realize he couldn’t remember the last time he felt this good.

“So, how are things in Derry, Mike” Stan asked softly, almost nervous to hear the answer.  Everyone at the table seemed to feel that vibe though as the air got even more tense at the mention of that place.

“It’s quiet for now… I’ve been studying the… the clown, or IT, whatever we’re calling it, and I think I know how to kill it” Mike told them, everyone turning to look at Mike as he had their full attention at those words.

“If we believe we can kill it we can, that's how it works, and there's a ritual we can all perform that would allow us to see IT’s true form in order to destroy it” Mike whispered.  Bill put a hand on Mike’s shoulder as he breathed out softly, trying to mentally prepare for the conversation.

“H-How.. Muh-Mikey” he asked, and Mike looked at him tiredly “thats nothing we need to worry about this second, this… we’re supposed to be having fun and… and I don’t want everything to get bogged down with doom and gloom-”

“Wait, but if there's a way we can kill it, shouldn’t we establish a game plan in advance? Maybe pre-order some machine guns” Richie responded, leaning forward in his seat slightly as he released his grip on Eddie to do so, feeling pressure in his hand as he realized Eddie was gripping him.

“I mean yes; yeah we should but… come on, we’ve only just reunited, we should at least catch up first” Mike exclaimed awkwardly, feeling his whole body droop as he leaned forward in his seat, resting his head in his hands “I just… I’ve missed you all so much and I’ve been trapped in that shithole town for fucking ages and I-”

“Mikey…” Bill whispered, pulling him into a half hug, resting his arm around Mike’s shoulder as Mike leaned into his weight, everyone staring at Mike in concern.

“Look Mike, we didn’t mean to push the topic, I didn’t even think, but… why did you stay Mikey” Eddie asked softly, and Mike looked up at him and shrugged “because no one else did… no one else would, and it's not like I wanted to go to college anyway so…”.

Richie wanted to kick himself.

“You should have contacted us man, I mean maybe we could have stayed in touch or taken turns, it's not fair that all of this be put on you” Richie whispered to him, reaching across the table and patting Mike’s arm, who immediately gave him a small smile.

“I realize that now… I actually tried contacting one of you though” Mike said softly, looking over at Bill who’s eyes narrowed slightly in confusion “wuh-what”.

“I… I’d seen your book with your name on it and this was maybe your second one published; I saw it in the Library, since that's where I work in Derry” Mike started, mouth falling into a thin line as he pushed himself to keep talking “I had your number so I called you and… you didn’t remember me and you hung up”.

Bill immediately panicked, eyes widening once again as his mouth fell open and promptly closed again in shock.

“Mikey, holy f-fucking shit... I am so sorry, I wuh-was in a shitty place when I first started off,and  I was g-getting a lot of bad deals from publishers, I... must have thought you were a fu-fan or something-”

“No, I mean its ok… I get it, you know, your brain tends to make you forget and I didn’t consider that I must have just sounded like a crazy person or something, I mean at that point you were already pretty famous and I must have just seemed like a rabid fan” Mike was chuckling lowly at his own statement as Bill stared at him in shock.

“Thu-that’s w-why you never did cuh-contact us isn’t it, be-because I did that to yu-you” Bill was stuttering again, it must have had something to do with the reunion because he hadn’t stuttered like that when they first arrived.  Mike stared at him and nodded slowly, and Bills gaze lowered to the floor in what seemed to be guilt. No one else spoke, because it felt like no one knew what else to say.

“I’m sorry Mikey, ruh-really I am, I-I just… I di-didn’t realize wh-who you wuh-were” Bill was looking back up at Mikey who was giving him a gentle smile, before he put a hand on Bill’s shoulder in return “no apology necessary Bill, I shouldn’t have given up so easily, I was in a bad place too, the… the clown likes to fuck with me”.

“How so Mikey” Bev whispered, dragging her finger along the edge of her beer as she stared at him intently, and Mike sighed as he looked over at her, leaning forward on the table before speaking.

“It makes me see what IT wants me to see, like… the newspaper I kept on the article about my parents-”

“Noo… Mikey-”

“IT changes the words to say that my parents were crackheads” Mike whispered and Bev stood up from her sea, abandoning her beer on the table to push towards Mike, walking with purpose towards his seat before wrapping her arms around him.

“Mike, you should get out of there…”

“I CAN'T, I-” Mike immediately felt bad for yelling, closing his mouth before sighing in defeat “I can’t Bev, I’m so close, WE’RE so close, I know that we’ll kill it and… and whats a couple more years, you know-”'

“Mike, if the thing… if IT is driving you to feel like this, maybe it's better to worry about your own sanity, I mean, didn’t you say you wanted to go to Florida, maybe…” Ben let out a long exhale before closing his eyes, flinching internally and opening them again “maybe I can take over for you for a while”.

Everyone at the table stared wide-eyed at Ben, who looked at Mike with full seriousness.

“Ben, you don’t know what you're suggesting-”

“Yes I do, and before you say anything, a big portion of my job is just me sitting barefoot at home and talking to people in conference calls, so I can basically work from anywhere… Mike, it isn’t fair on you to have to suffer alone, no one in this group deserves that” Ben said softly, looking at Bev who was still standing beside Mike and giving her a small, reassuring smile at her concerned expression “I don’t have to do it forever, we can take turns but… Mike, I want you to spend a year in Florida, do something that you love; I don’t want you to be stuck there in Derry driving yourself crazy-”

“Little late for that but…” Mike was laughing to himself as he held Bev’s arm where she was still comforting him, shaking his head a little as he looked up at Ben “you’re sure about this?”

Richie and Eddie both turned to look at Ben who seemed to be completely at peace with the decision.

“Loser’s stick together right? I’d like to think you’d do the same for me Mikey… in fact, you’ve already proven that you would, because you have ” Ben smiled at him as Mikey let out a small exhale of relief.  A breath he’d probably been holding for years.

“Well Jesus this got tense fast-”

“Beep beep Richie” Stan mumbled, causing Richie to glare at him, all the while Becca kept glancing back and forth between Ben and Mike.  She stood up from her seat slowly and moved over towards Mike, all the while Eddie and Richie were just staring at her as she did so.

“I can’t imagine what you must have gone through” she told him gently, before pushing forward and giving him a hug “but I know you did it to protect my dads and Stan and everyone else so… thank you”

Mike just stared down at her, unsure of what to say as Ben proceeded to lift himself from his seat as well, joining Beverly and placing a hand on Mikes arm, giving him a half hug from the side.

It wasn’t too long after that everyone else joined in, pulling Mike into a hug.  Richie and Eddie both pushed forward and hugged the outer rims, but it got the job done.  Mike started laughing as his eyes seemed wet with unshed tears.  

“I knew you guys cared, I always knew… the clown wanted me to think you didn’t but…” Mike smiled up at all of them “thank you all, I… you don’t know how much this means to me”.

“You deserve to be happy Mikey” Stan said to him softly, and Mike just sobbed a little, causing Becca to hug him tighter “thanks you guys I… I’m so happy to see you all again”.

The other Loser’s laughed and smiled at him as he whispered that.  Becca took a moment to take them all in as she pulled away from Mike, stepping back to give them all some space.  It made her miss her own friends a little. 

“Ok, so we can all never seperate again, I will not have it, that shit cannot fucking fly because holy shit I missed you guys” Richie said, ruffling Mikey’s hair playfully as everyone laughed with him.

“Yeah, fuck that, I love Richie but I can only deal with him so long before I need to vent to people who understand his fucking torturous humor, so bullshit am I letting you fuckers forget me” Eddie mumbled as Ben nodded with a quiet “agreed” as he patted Mike’s shoulder.

“We have the chat, I don’t think we’ll all forget-”

“Damn fucking right you won’t, you bunch of pathetic cry babies, I won’t fucking allow it; Bev do you know how fucking cool you are, I can’t fucking deal with these two geezers without your help and Bill gave me book suggestions, fuck all of you if you think I’m gonna let you guys forget eachother and proceed to never speak again-”

“BECCA” Eddie shouted at her in horror as she dropped multiple F-bombs while the losers just stared in shock.

“Uh uh, don’t Becca me, ALL OF YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY INCOMPATENT MORONS WHO CANNOT BE TRUSTED WITH YOUR OWN FRIENDSHIP, SO I WILL BE THE CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP-”

“Eh-Ed’s, wuh-why is your child yeh-yelling at me” Eddie just gave Bill a tired look and shrugged “she yells at everybody Bill, I just… got used to it”.

“SHUT UP. MY POINT IS THAT I NEED ALL YOUR PHONE NUMBERS SO I CAN PERSONALLY MAKE SURE YOU STAY IN TOUCH” Richie’s eyes immediately widened at the realization of what she was talking about.

“Oh shit I forgot, hey guys, yeah Becca is scared we’ll forget each other and then forget her, so to ease her anxieties she wants to be our ‘anchor’” he made quotations with his fingers as he said the words “or whatever, so it’ll make her feel a lot more at ease if we just comply” Richie said lightly as Becca glared at him, and he just scoffed back at her “oh don’t give me that look, you were trying to fucking give the Braveheart speech and they were lost, I was just speeding the process along- OK PHONE NUMBERS PLEASE. ANDALE”.

“That… actually isn’t a bad idea…” Mike said with wide eyes, looking over at everyone else “she hasn’t been tethered to Derry like we have, so she wouldn’t forget us, she could just… overlook and check in if any of us haven’t heard from someone in a while, and I don’t think we’d forget her”.

Becca smiled in relief as Mike scrambled to pull a pen and paper out of his backpack, writing down his own phone number and information.  She collected all of them quickly, nodding and giving quick ‘thank you’s’ as people turned in their numbers. She took a couple of moments to pull out her phone, punching the digits into her contacts before slipping her phone back into her pocket.  By the time she was finally done the Loser’s had already started eating most of their food, and Becca (who had gotten chicken nuggets like a five year old) finally took a moment to touch her own meal.

“I still cannot believe you just got chicken strips here, it's like requesting a burger at an Italian restaurant-” Richie completely missed Eddie gesturing with his hand, fake slicing at his neckline in an attempt to cut Richie off, but it went completely over Richie's head before Becca’s death glare came his way.

“WHAT’S SO WRONG WITH THAT” Becca shouted as Beverly gaped at her, whispering “wait, you're telling me you actually did that? Oh my god, Becca you're going to have to come up and visit me sometime so I can broaden your tastebuds horizons, I promise you there is better food out there than burgers and chicken strips- Eddie, you really don’t have her try things?”

Eddie have her a wide-eyed look of disbelief and let out a loud scoff at her words before lifting both hands wildly around in defense.

“DO YOU NOT THINK I’VE ALREADY TRIED”

Becca just kept eating in  a pissed off silence as the other Loser’s kept talking, arguing, and reminiscing.  She sometimes felt like an intruder, so she tried not to butt in, but when dinner had finally concluded, those fears were put to rest.

“So… Becca, did you have plans tonight” Ben asked Becca with a small smile, all the while the other Loser’s grinned with Ben, turning to wait for her answer as she opened her mouth in shock, not speaking for the first couple of seconds.

“Um, no, not particularly, I mean, I might have played games but I do that every night so I can take a day off, whats up” she asked as Stan grinned excitedly at Beverly, who in return grinned at Ben “ok, do you wanna come mini-golfing with us?”

Becca’s eyes got wide as she stared at the Loser’s, her mouth turning upwards in a subconcious smile.

“A-Are you serious?”

“Yeah we ha-had talked about it a buh-bit before, and we thought it would be f-fun” Bill said to her with a smile, and Mike just grinned at Bill before turning to look back at Becca.

“Ummm, let me think uh- FUCK YEAH I WANNA COME, ARE WE GOING RIGHT NOW? CAN WE GET ICECREAM, OH MY GOD-”

“Sweetheart, please no screaming in indoor public spaces” Eddie said with exasperation before looking at the other Loser’s in confusion “wait, was this a planned thing? I didn’t see anything in the groupchat-”

“Oh, that’s because we wanted to surprise you, yeah- Becca, is it cool if your dads hang back, we know how lame they are anyway, and we figured you’d want a break-” Becca’s eyes got comically wide at Bev’s statement, shaking her head in exasperation “oh my god you have no idea, yes please, they can stay home and cry or whatever it is they do”.

Richie’s eyes furrowed in confusion as Eddie just opened his mouth to speak before promptly closing it once more when he realized he had nothing suitable to respond with.  Bev just smiled sweetly at them.

“Then it's settled, we’re going to take Becca out for the night, maybe bring her back to your hotel room around eleven, or she could stay with me, and you two... for the love of god just… enjoy a night to yourselves; we know how everythings been for you two and we figured you guys deserve a break to relax and just… I don’t know, be a couple” Bev gestured towards them with one hand as she took a swig of her beer with the other, and Richie just turned to Eddie, looking at him before looking back at the group and shaking his head.

“You guys really did that for us, I don’t-” Richie laughed slightly as he readjusted his glasses “I just… thanks, its appreciated-”

Bill smiled at Richie, raising a hand up to get him to stop thanking them “Rich, don’t worry about it m-man, we wah-wanted to do this for you, a-and we were excited to geh-get to meet Becca, s-so its a win-win” he said, turning his gaze over to Becca and giving her a thumbs up as Becca just jumped out of her chair excitedly, throwing on her backpack as the rest of the group began to stand with her, collecting their own things.  Richie just nodded in understanding and shrugged.

"Well we wouldn't want to torture Becca with our prescense, would we Eddie" Richie bumbed Eddie's shoulder to get him to answer, and he laughed as he pushed his own seat back shrugging "I mean, yeah if we're really not wanted, I guess we wouldn't want to ruin the evening with our presence".

"That's the spirit, you guys have fun, we promise we'll take care of her" Ben told Eddie kindly, closing his eyes in a smile as he patted Eddie on the arm.

"Thanks you guys, it really does mean a lot" Richie told them as they all scoffed it off, telling him not to worry.  Richie had almost forgotten what it was like to have this again.  To have actual friends.  He quickly stood up with Eddie and glared somwhat at Stan, who was grinning at him from beside Becca.  Richie pulled Stan to the side as everyone else began to exit the small room, glaring at him with fake-anger, even though it was clearly a look of intense appreciation.

“Fucking Stan The Man, you sly son of a bitch, you planned this shit didn’t you” Richie whispered with a grin to Stan as they began to exit the restaurant and Stan just smirked at Richie.

“Don’t ask stupid questions that you already know the answer to Rich, you and Eddie have fun, enjoy yourselves- hell, if you want, Becca can stay with Beverly tonight; she and I have already discussed it, and I know Bev wouldn’t mind, she was even saying how she hoped Becca would stay with her so she could so her Mean Girls, just... let us know ahead of time, and Jesus, for the love of God, just enjoy some you time, you guys deserve it” Stan said with a grin, patting Richie’s cheek jokingly as he pushed past Richie who still stood there awestruck.  Becca followed after the Loser’s, beginning to exit the restaurant before her eyes widened and she asked the other Loser’s to wait, sprinting over to Richie and Eddie and hugging them both wrapping her smaller arms around them.

“I love you guys” she said softly, and Richie just tousled her hair while Eddie hugged her back.

“Love you too gremlin, go, enjoy your freedom” Eddie said to her, and she gave a quick salute before ripping out of their grip once again and sprinting to the doorway with one final wave as she ran out after Beverly.  

“See you tomorrow Rich, can’t wait for your show” Mike shouted with a smirk and Richie felt the anxiety strike for only a moment before he clamped down on it and gave a thumbs up.

“Yep… can’t wait” it was spoken half-heartedly, and then suddenly it was just Eddie and Richie at the front of the restaurant as everyone else got in their cars to go golfing.  Richie stood for a moment before turning to look at Eddie, who was just grinning up at him.

“So… now what” Richie asked him softly, placing a hand to Eddie’s face, stroking his thumb over Eddie’s cheekbone gently as he smirked at him, laying his own hand over Richie's “I don’t know Rich, you wanna get out of here?”

Chapter Text

Richie and Eddie stepped into Richie’s place with a weird combination of giddiness and nerves.  For Eddie, it was making him restless. He felt almost awkward being alone with Richie again for the first time in a small while.  No Becca, no Stan, and not dining out in some public restaurant. Richie opened the door and turned the light on, walking in and throwing his keys onto the counter as Eddie followed after him with his hands in his pockets.  They'd spent so long at the hotel he'd almost forgotten it.

“I still think they just didn’t want us tagging along, Trashmouth Tozier and Eddie Spaghetti as a dynamic duo power couple would have been too much for them to handle” Richie teased, pulling Eddie’s cardigan off his own shoulders and neatly placing it on the loveseat, careful not to wrinkle Eddie’s outerwear.  Eddie noticed too, because the gesture did wild shit to his heart.

“I mean, they kidnap our kid and then basically tell us to get laid, what do they think, that we need help-” Richie froze as he looked over at Eddie, who had been quiet for most of Richie’s rant. Eddie was staring at Richie in the corner by the door, the night leaving a lot of shadows coating his form.  Richie worried he’d said something wrong.

“Hey, Ed’s, I know that I’m like… the first guy you’ve been with, and I know the Loser’s were trying to help but I want you to know there’s no pressure… like at all, we take this at whatever pace your comfortable with and-” Richie was cut off though by Eddie’s sudden pulse of confidence as he strutted forward towards Richie, placing both hands on Richie's shoulders and stretching up to kiss him.  Richie stared in shock, but only for a moment before he closed his eyes, placing a hand on Eddie’s neck and turning his head to the side to get a better angle; Eddie’s mouth opened for him, practically attacking Richie with his enthusiasm.

“Ed’s, fuck…” he panted onto Eddie's lips, pulling back for breath.  However, it was short lived as Eddie moved back in, playfully pushing Richie’s back to the couch and nearly knocking them both over.

“I know we don’t have to do anything, but- shit Rich, I’ve spent way too much of my life holding back because of my own fears, or potential risks” Eddie was staring at Richie’s mouth, panting slightly as Richie stared down at him, moving his hand up to press his thumb against Eddie’s lower lip, and Eddie looked up at him with this fucking look that Richie knew would haunt him until the grave “I’m done throwing away chances, I… I want you Richie… I've wanted you longer than I can even remember”

Richie didn’t know if he’d ever have a response to those words.  He instead just chose to not respond, practically yanking Eddie into his space and kissing him again, teasing Eddie’s mouth open with his tongue as Eddie moaned into the kiss.  He turned both their bodies so that Eddie’s back was the one against the couch and gently hoisted Eddie up until he was sitting on the back of it, his legs dangling off as Richie placed a hand on Eddie’s cheek, turning his head again for a better angle.  Eddie responded in the best way he knew how; lifting both his legs up and wrapping them around Richie’s waist, pulling him closer as Richie moaned at the feeling of being pressed so close against Eddie, already feeling the beginnings of a hard on straining in his jeans.

“Fuck Richie, for all that talk of me being the built one, your shitty dad bod was the one that just lifted me, by my ass might I add, onto the fucking couch… that shit should be illegal” Eddie quipped, and Richie just grinned brightly at Eddie as his hand moved up into Eddie’s hair, pulling slightly as he began to feel the outline of Eddie’s erection lined up against his own.  He really fucking reveled in the noise Eddie made in response.

“You fucking turd, your the one still grinding on that so called 'dad bod', don’t act like its nothing your not interested in” he panted, giving Eddie a smirk as he pulled back, his eyes blown as Eddie was smirking right back up at him, laughing softly..  God confidence looked so fucking sexy on him.

“Oh I’m interested” Eddie stated very matter-of-factly, almost business like if the business was Eddie placing a hand over the slight tent in Richie’s pants, which was definitly the kind of business Richie could get behind, might have even finished college for it “and I’m very fucking interested in how good you looked in my cardigan tonight- I mean, Jesus Christ Richie-” he moved his hand up the line of Richie's hard on, grazing it with one finger before he palmed Richie through the fabric with his whole hand.  Apparently it was a good call, because not a second later Richie pushed his head into the crook of Eddie's neck, sucking at it as he moved his hips forward to grind into Eddie’s hand, moaning loudly as he did so and moving both his hands down to palm at Eddie’s ass.

“What, the flamingos don’t do it for you Ed’s?”

Eddie widened his eyes slightly as he observed Richie’s flamingo shirt, placing his unoccupied hand on Richie’s chest, feeling the material of his shirt before moving over Richie’s right nipple with his thumb, causing Richie to whine, resting his forehead on Eddie's shoulder.

“It looks great on you Rich, everything looks great on you- but right now, it’d look better on the fucking floor”.

Richie had ascended.  This was it. Richie always saw himself as a ‘going to Hell’ sort of guy, but this?  If this shit wasn’t Heaven, Richie didn’t want to go.

He pulled away slightly, but Eddie’s hand never left Richie’s jeans, instead moving to grip the belt loop as Richie practically ripped the buttons of his shirt, yanking it over his head and looking back up at Eddie who was biting his lower lip between his teeth and just staring.  Richie moved forward slightly, hoisting him up as Eddie made a small shriek of shock, wrapping his legs around Richie to keep from falling, walking him towards their room (which Richie still could hardly believe thats a sentence he’s allowed to say). Eddie clung around Richie’s waist; mouthing at his neck before biting down lightly, scraping his teeth.  Richie just shivered, trying to keep his eyes on the prize as they finally made it through the open door and onto Richie’s bed. He fell forward onto Eddie, diving in for another quick kiss as he moved his hands back up to push under Eddie’s hypoallergenic shirt, making a noise at the feeling of hard muscle under his palms.

“Shit Ed’s, how far-” Eddie bit down harder on his neck just to be a brat, causing Richie to push his hips forward for friction right onto Eddie’s leg as he hovered over Eddie, staring down at him in awe, his glasses practically falling off his nose as he looked at him. He'd be damned if those annoying glasses were leaving his head tonight though.  He planned to remember every detail.

 “Ya fucking tease- how far do you want this to go Eddie”.

Eddie's head bent to look back up at him, his eyes completely blown but a little bit of clarity seemed to reach them as he stared up at Richie, mouth falling into a line before he looked off to the side.

“I uh… I don’t know if I’m ready for a dick up my ass just yet-”

Richie snorted as Eddie turned back to scowl at him, which then caused Richie to drop his head into the crook of Eddie's neck, falling into a fit of full blown laughter as Eddie started shaking his head in disbelief. Richie's eyes closed as he began to laugh harder, shaking slightly as he felt Eddie’s hand hit at him lightly from sheer annoyance.

“Fuck you dickhead, ok? This is my first gay slumber party, I’m doing my bes-”

Richie leaned back up, moving back up to rest over Eddie as he wrapped a lose hand lightly around the side of Eddie’s neck, just placing it there as he pecked Eddie’s lips with his own, a fond look in his eyes as Eddie grinned right back up at him, placing both hands on either side of Richie's head.

“No pressure baby, this is all for you, we go as fast or as slow as you want Ed’s…” Richie whispered with his forehead pressed against Eddie’s, staring down at him as Eddie stared right back up, his eyes changing once again in reaction to the endearment.

“God I secretly fucking love when you call me that” Eddie said it so softly Richie almost didn’t hear it, but he was currently so in-tune with Eddie he couldn’t not hear it if he tried.  He raised his eyebrows in response, smiling lopsidedly.

“Aww... yeah Ed’s? You like that sweetheart” he asked him and Eddie just nodded as his wandering hands moved back down to wrap around Richie’s shoulders, pushing himself up and moving Richie forward with him so that he could move forward and sit on Richie’s lap.  Eddie took a second to find the right angle, his legs laying loosely on either side of Richie’s waist as Richie moved his hands down to hold Eddie’s thighs, letting out a small whimper as their hips lined up.

“I fucking love it Rich honestly, you never shut the fuck up and I pretend to hate it but… god, I love your fucking voice” Eddie groaned, gripping tightly on Richie’s bare shoulders as Richie looked up at him, smiling as his eyes stared dead at Eddie from behind his glasses.

“Should of known you’d be the type to like dirty talk, shit you must have been a spectacular twink in your prime, I wouldn’t have known what to do with you” Richie whispered, moving his hands to the hem of Eddie’s shirt and pulling up on it slightly, Eddie quickly realizing what he was doing and moving his own hands to help out “gotta level the playing field here then, God there is no fucking reason you should be this fucking built Eddie”.

“If I knew it was this easy to please you I would have intro’d with the abs” Eddie snarked, quickly tossing the shirt off to the side as Richie just gave him this disbelieving look, placing his hand on the side of Eddie’s cheek again and looking directly into Eddie’s eyes.

“You could have sent me a shitty, outdated internet meme and I would have been fucking smitten Ed’s, I mean God just look at you” he whispered, his hand moving down Eddie’s neck and chest, taking time to feel the muscle and to graze his thumb over Eddie’s bare nipple, causing Eddie to shiver.  He kept his hand moving downwards, feeling the sides of Eddie’s ribs and the abs Eddie seemed so hellbent to hide “you’re better than anything my brain could have conjured up, I swear, you’re fucking stunning”.

Eddie’s face had gone completely red, and he suddenly found himself in a mixed state of horny, and also emotionally overloaded.  With Myra it was always about what he could do better. What was wrong with him. Why he was the way he was. What could he change.  With Richie?

Fuck, its like Richie was admiring fine fucking art, and Eddie was the masterpiece.  

It was a feeling Eddie had never experienced and Richie had said it with so much fucking fondness in his voice.  It made Eddie want to cry, fuck him, and steal a ring from zales to get down on one knee and beg him to marry him all jumbled into one giant whirlpool of feelings.  And the best part was this feeling of confidence that Richie would say yes .  That Richie fucking adored him just as much as Eddie adored Richie, and that he could trust in that confidence, and the knowledge that Richie felt just as crazy about Eddie as he felt about Rich.

It was a confidence he’d never experienced before, and it was because of this confidence that he didn’t even flinch when Richie’s hand reach the hem of his pants, playing with the zipper that now held back his straining erection.

“Fuck Ed’s, we’ve just been making out and grinding like teenagers and you’re already pitching a fucking tent” Richie grinned, and Eddie’s face got redder as he looked away in embarrassement. 

“Fuck you, I never did this a lot” Eddie said, and he didn’t.  He and Myra had typically always agreed that sex was dirty, and not a requirement in their relationship (now looking back that should have been a sign to his blossoming sexuality but what can you do).  They would only have sex in planned intervals, and after Becca, they just sort of quit altogether. Even back when they did used to have sex occassionally, it was NEVER anything like this.  This felt like his whole body was on fire, or like his whole body would implode if he didn’t get this.  With Myra it just felt like a necessary evil; just something that married people should do.

“You and Myra didn’t…” Richie trailed off as Eddie glared at him, cutting him off entirely “don’t say her fucking name when I’m about to touch your dick Richie”.

Well, he now knew how to shut Richie up.

“Well shit Ed’s, you don’t have to tell me twice”.

And with that, Eddie took the dive, moving his hand to Richie’s pants and undoing the buttons carefully, moving a slightly shaky hand towards his zipper, only briefly looking up at Richie for permission before Richie nodded at him almost too quickly, and Eddie took the plunge.  Richie lifted himself up onto his knees to help Eddie get his pants down until he was in nothing but his boxers, and Eddie quickly followed in that mentality as he yanked at his own pants, adjusting his position so that he could slip them down his legs and toss them into the corner of the room.  Richie gave him a smirk, palming his erection through his underwear as he glanced at Eddie.

“Aren’t you scared those are gonna wrinkle Ed-”

“Beep fucking beep, Trashmouth” he growled before he was on Richie again, shoving Richie’s form down onto the bed as he grabbed Richie’s wrists and pinned them above his head, kissing him with the same level of aggression they would always argue with.  Richie was in a state of pure bliss as he melted into Eddie’s grip, hands twitching slightly where Eddie had him pinned down “god, you’re so fucking annoying, I don’t know why I put up with you”.

Richie didn’t even have a response to that, because they both knew why Eddie put up with it. Neither had to say it but they both knew it was true.

Eddie ground his hips forward onto Richie’s, one leg now resting in between Richie’s legs as he ground down on Richie’s thigh, perfectly content to just kiss Richie and hold him.  Richie moaned into the kiss, finally yanking a hand out of Eddie’s grip and moving it to the back of Eddie’s head, trying to pull him as close as humanly possible.

Eddie pulled back from the kiss so he could look at Richie, moving his right hand down to Richie’s boxers and slipping it underneath, gripping Richie’s throbbing erection with more confidence than Eddie had anticipated from himself, eyes going a bit glassy as he squeezed slightly, watching as Richie’s head fell back onto the mattress as he stared at the ceiling in sheer bliss.

“Fuck Eddie” he moaned and Eddie grinned at him, building up a bit more courage as he began to find a rhythm.  It was different than jerking off on his own. For one thing the angle was all wrong, and he knew this probably felt completely underwhelming to Richie compared to what he must be used to but Eddie couldn’t even find it in himself to care, because despite all that, Richie’s face made Eddie feel like he’d just given Richie the world.  He moved his hand slowly, freezing momentarily on Richie’s shaft in order to move his thumb lightly along the head, and Richie fucking groaned.

“God, fucking hell, you practice for this shit Eddie-” 

“Number one, I’m not God, but wow, how nice of you to say, didn't know I was good enough for blasphemy” Eddie said gently as his wrist moved back down in order to pump at Richie’s dick once again “secondly, no I haven’t, but I have jerked off before so I figured tomato, tomahto, ya know?”

Richie nodded with a hand pressed to his forehead as Eddie worked him, giving what almost sounded like a nervous laugh at Eddie’s joke as he bucked slightly into Eddie’s grip, biting his lip and giving quiet moans from time to time.

“God, you look fucking gorgeous like this Richie” Eddie whispered, moving his free hand down Richie’s chest, feeling the coarse hair there.  He fucking reveled in the expressions Richie was making.

“You’re a goddamn power bottom aren’t you, I should have fucking known” Richie shook his head as his hands rested just above his glasses, and he could see Richie pulling lightly at his curls as he worked him.  Something Eddie filed away as potentially noteworthy information.

“Wait I know this, I did some research and I actually think I’m a switch, but I’ll be honest, having you all riled up like this underneath me? If that makes me a power-play kinda guy, then hell I guess I can’t argue with ya” Eddie murmured, actually feeling Richie laugh through the hand he had resting on his chest.  Richie finally sat up somewhat, resting on his elbows as he adjusted to the new position, groaning slightly at Eddie’s movements before placing a hand over Eddie’s, which was resting on the base of his dick.

“What’s wrong-”

Richie stilled his hand, looking up at Eddie with a look that could honestly devour him and Eddie would probably thank him for it.  Richie sat up fully as he pulled at Eddie’s briefs, yanking them down his legs somewhat as Eddie frowned slightly. Richie seemed to notice, because he momentarily stilled.

“This ok Ed’s?” Eddie shot his head back up to look at Richie, who was staring at him with a reassuring smile with just a smidge of concern, and Eddie only had the power to nod as Richie grinned wider at him, giving Eddie space to help him pull the briefs off, feeling Richie brush the back of his fingers down Eddie’s dick “good, because I almost fucking came, and I’ll be damned if I’m the one coming first”.

“Why not together then?”

Eddie had said it so softly, so different from his previous bouts of confident statements that Richie almost didn’t recognize it.  Richie looked up at him, feeling every ounce of adoration he’d felt since they were kids. How much he fucking loved Eddie. Like he was made for him.

“Guess there isn’t a law saying we can’t, I told you you’re an evil fucking genius Eddie” Richie whispered fondly, kissing Eddie’s forehead before pushing himself onto his knees in the middle of the mattress and moving his hand to grip Eddie’s elbow, pulling him up with him “here, move up with me”.

Eddie allowed Richie to pull him up, looking up at Richie as he took their joint hands and moved them down to their lined up erections.  Eddie gripped his hand over them both hesitantly as Richie squirmed slightly, bucking up as his own hand covered Eddie’s, his other hand moving up to rest on Eddie’s chest.

“I love you Eddie” 

Eddie stared up at Richie and gave him a small smile, but it somehow represented more than any full blown grin Eddie could give.  

“I love you too Rich, always will” he whispered right before he moved his hand under Richie’s, their hands moving together, pumping them both at a breakneck speed.  Richie felt hot everywhere as he moved with Eddie, gripping onto him for dear life as he basked in the small noises Eddie was making, watching his expressions through his thick glasses.

“Fuck Rich- I’m… I think I’m gonna-”

“Me too baby, fuck… do it-”

Eddie’s final brain cell decided to make one last conscious effort as his own hand left Richie’s side to move up into Richie’s curls, remembering the way Richie had gripped at his own hair earlier.  He brushed his fingers through the strands as Richie’s eyes darkened, his mouth falling slack at the feeling as Richie gripped them both tighter and picked up the pace.

And then Eddie grasped the strands and yanked.

“Fucking come for me Richie-”

And Richie came harder than ever before in his fucking life, shooting onto Eddie’s stomach as he shut his eyes and moaned loudly, Eddie tumbling over the edge right there with him.  They both rode out their orgasms, panting into each other's space as Eddie gentled his hand in Richie’s hair, but still leaving his hand there to pet at Richie’s curls. Richie opened his eyes and grinned down at Eddie, giggling lightly as he pressed his forehead into Eddie’s and moved back, gently released both their softening dicks as he felt the urge to cup at Eddie’s cheek (though he wouldn’t dare do it right now without washing his hands, or he’d never hear the end of it).

He instead settled for smiling like a maniac as his head rested on Eddies, feeling more at peace than he’d felt in his entire lifetime as he felt Eddie’s puffs of breath hitting his face. 

“Jesus, that was intense…” Eddie quipped and Richie just grinned at him fondly, turning on his side and pinching his cheek.

“Aw, fuck you, that’s my line Ed’s, I’m the one who’s supposed to tell awkward jokes after sex”.

****************

They were laying together under the covers, watching shitty Netflix shows and just basking in being in each others presence when they saw headlights pulling up outside.  Eddie twisted his head partially to look outside the window, but couldn’t see the car. He shook Richie slightly, waking him up since he'd accidentally fallen asleep.

“Fuck what… did I miss Chandler and Monica kissing” Richie gasped, Eddie giving him a deadpan look “no genius, I think someone’s outside…”.

At those words Richie perked up slightly, sitting up to look out the window himself before realizing he couldn’t see shit without his glasses.

“Ed’s I can’t see anything right now, I need my spectacles- do you think it's just the Loser’s?”

Eddie narrowed his eyes and shook his head, moving briefly across the bed to grab Richie’s thick-framed glasses before handing them over and lifting himself out of bed.

“Maybe… now thinking about it, Becca did leave her DS here when we stopped by here on the way to dinner, they might just be here to pick it up,” Eddie said, nodding his head to reassure himself more than Richie as he made his way to the closet, throwing on some shorts and one of Richie’s old t-shirts as Richie grinned at him, pushing the glasses onto his head.

“Damn Ed’s, my germ-riddled tees look hot on you-”

“Say that again and this will be your first and last glance dickface” Eddie hissed and Richie just cooed in response, leaning out of the sheets to stare at Eddie with a dumb fucking smile.

“Aww, Ed’s you finally graduated from dickhead to dickface, what a fucking evolution-”

They both turned their heads to the doorway at the bell began to ring repeatedly, leaving both Eddie and Richie frowning as Richie’s eyebrows shot up.

“Jesus she must really want that DS” Richie mumbled, lifting himself out of bed to get dressed as Eddie walked towards the door like a zombie.  Becca had a tendency to be a little asshole, he knew that obviously.  

Despite that though, when he began to hear an aggressive knock on the door following the doorbell, he began to realize it wasn’t Becca.

He walked forward down the hallway, feeling his breath leaving him slightly as he made it to the front door, opening it up to see Myra staring back at him, her hand still raised from banging on the door as her eyes narrowed on Eddie.

“Myra-”

“Fuck you, where is my fucking daughter Edward” she growled, shoving Eddie out of her way as she barged into Richie’s living room, scouring the small space for Becca as Eddie still stared in shock “and where the fuck is that whore I know you were cheating on me with, don’t fucking lie to me, you really think I’m gonna believe your actually fucking gay-”

“Hey Myra, it's me, Eddie’s whore” Richie muttered, arms crossed in the hallway as he stared at the two of them, but his eyes were focused on Eddie, scouring Eddie for any sign of panic.  He didn’t even see Myra gaping at him “EXCUSE ME, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE-”

“Oh, I’m Richie Tozier, but you can call me the guy your ex-husbands fucking, you know, because he’s actually gay” Richie stated simply, turning his head back to look at Myra who had her hands in fists at her sides as she stared at him like she was ready to maim.  

“He’s… he isn’t, he’s… Eddie-bear, so you really weren’t with another woman?” Eddie turned to look at her, his eyes wide with shock as Myra looked at him with something akin to hope.  Eddie couldn’t possibly fathom why. He didn’t even say anything though before Myra took off with it.

“This… this is great Eddie, you really didn’t cheat then but… honey, I know you’re not gay, you don’t have to lie anymore, is this because you haven’t been taking your medications? You know you get crazy when your off them too long-”

“Myra, shut the fuck up” Eddie stated bluntly, raising a hand to silence her as Myra opened her mouth in shock before closing it again “but sweetie, you can’t be gay, we’ve been married for years, we have a child together, you’re just confused-”

“No, you’re the one who’s confused, thinking you can come in here and scream at my boyfriend right before you try to emotionally abuse our daughter, are you fucking insane Myra-”

Myra stared at him, allowing some crocodile tears to fall down her cheeks as she shook her head at Eddie.

“Why… why are you being so mean Eddie-bear-”

“DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT” Eddie shouted the words with such finality, that Myra actually had nothing to respond with as Eddie closed his eyes and let out a loud exhale to calm himself before stepping closer to Myra, glaring at her.

“You fucking told our daughter, our only fucking daughter that you wished she’d never been born , are you fucking psychotic-”

“She- she was pushing me, and I told her I didn’t mean it, Eddie you know I don’t-”

“IT DOESN’T MATTER THAT YOU DON’T FUCKING MEAN IT MYRA, THE POINT IS YOU DON’T SAY IT AT ALL, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT’S FUCKED HER UP, HOW BADLY YOU HURT HER-”

“Oh, don’t act like she’s a fucking ANGEL, she’s not fucking innocent, she ABANDONED ME Eddie, she wanted to leave me for you-”

Eddie let out a laugh right in Myra’s face at those words and Richie just closed his mouth into a line as he watched Eddie go off.  Eddie let out one last laugh, covering his forehead with his hands as he looked up at the ceiling and placed his other hand on his hip, shaking his head in disbelief before he placed both hands on his hips and shouted “GEE I CAN’T IMAGINE WHY SHE’D EVER WANT TO LEAVE WITH YOUR TOP TIER PARENTING SKILLS-”

“SHE’S JUST AS CULPABLE AS ME, I ONLY SAID THOSE THINGS BECAUSE SHE THREATENED TO LEAVE ME EDDIE, FIRST YOU ABANDONED ME-”

“Oh that’s fucking funny-”

“THEN SHE WANTED TO LEAVE ME TOO, I COULDN’T HANDLE IT EDDIE… did I tell you I had a stroke…?”

Eddie’s eyes went wide at that, glaring at her as his nostrils flared before the last of his patience slipped away.

“Show me the records…” Eddie stated as calmly as he could, watching the nervous look in Myra’s eyes at that statement.

“W-what-”

“You’re a fucking liar and you were gonna tell me, or Becca your strokes were the result of the stress we put on you- come on Myra, you and I both know you didn’t have a fucking stroke, you’re a goddamn compulsive liar and what you need istherapy if you wanna see your daughter again; not another fucking hole to dig yourself into, so either give me the records of your stroke, or shut the fuck up”.

It got quiet immediately after that, and Richie could only stare at Eddie as the two divorcee’s glared at each other.  He watched as Myra’s expression got hard, closing off from the fake tears and the lies to finally give an honest look at what was underneath.

“Fuck you Eddie, fucking leave me to go be a faggot with this piece of-”

“Ok, you’re daughters not here, it's time for you to go” Richie ground out, deciding that he too had offcially lost his patience as he started pacing forward to stand in front of Eddie, who looked like he was on the verge of screeching.

“You’ve kidnapped my daughter, you can’t make me fucking leave, I’ll call the goddamn cops-”

“Then call the goddamn cops Mable-”

“IT’S MYRA-”

“I DON’T FUCKING GIVE A SHIT, YOU KNOW WHO’S BEEN TAKING CARE OF THAT GIRL SINCE YOU THREATENED TO KILL YOURSELF IN FRONT OF HER AND TRAUMATIZED HER FOR LIFE?  EDDIE. SHE’S WITH EDDIE BECAUSE THE COURTS GAVE HIM CUSTODY BECAUSE YOUR. FUCKING. UNSTABLE. AND YOU NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE-”

“You can’t, I-”

“We can Myra, I have custody, and Becca doesn’t want to see you unless you go to therapy, she’s already told you” Eddie told her calmly as she turned her glare back to Eddie.

“The therapists are all fucking quacks, trying to tell me that I’m the one in the wrong-”

“Wow, can’t imagine why” Richie couldn’t help the words as they fell out of his mouth, and Eddie must have been just as pissed because he didn’t even glare at him for it.

“Myra… you told our daughter that you were going to kill yourself and that its her fault, does that sound like someone who’s stable?”

Myra glared for another moment, her lip quivering slightly before she reached a shaking hand into her purse, pulling out an envelope with Becca’s name written in fancy cursive on the front.  She threw it on the floor in front of Eddie before giving them both one last glare.

“Just give her that, since she apparently doesn’t want to see me” Myra ground out, turning around and walking out the door before slamming it closed, leaving Eddie staring at the empty space in shock.  Neither Rich nor Eddie said a word as the lights from the car flashed in through the windows before abruptly disappearing once more when her car had left the yard. 

Eddie was breathing heavily, not sure he could even process thoughts as Richie finally felt himself kneeling down and plucking up the letter, turning it in his hand and looking at it.

“Well shit, I never would have guessed she’d actually show up” Richie whispered, moving to place the letter on the counter as he walked back to Eddie, moving in front of Eddie and placing his hands on Eddie’s shoulders, looking down at him “Ed’s… baby, are you ok?”

“Fuck her…” Eddie grumbled, shaking his head in disbelief as he covered his eyes “trying to fake a fucking stroke, God what would Becca have thought-”

Not a second later, they see another set of headlights pulling up, and for an intense moment, Eddie was scared it was Myra again.  Back to try for a round two. It only gave him an ounce of relief when he heard Beverly and Becca speaking outside the door, but the relief dissipated as he stared at the white envelope that was sitting on the counter.

Becca barged in once she realized the door was unlocked, running over to Eddie excitedly.

“DAD, OTHER DAD, HOLY SHIT I WON THE GAME-”

“Yeah” Beverly said fondly, holding Becca’s backpack over her shoulder “turns out we’re all trash at mini-golf, she insisted on stopping by here for her DS, sorry for barging in on your alone time but-” Beverly’s mouth went slack as she looked between the two of them, Eddie hugging Becca but his expression a complete bundle of nerves, and Richie staring back at her with an almost defeated expression.

“Did something happen” Beverly asked and Eddie looked up at her, nodding before pulling back from the hug with Becca, looking down at her knowing full well he had to tell her.

“Becca, I know you said you wanted transparency, that you didn’t want me to lie to protect you so I won’t… Bec, you’re mom was just here” Eddie whispered and he hated watching as Becca’s excited expression quickly died, her smile twisting to a frown as her eyes lost a bit of their spark.

“Oh… yeah, I figured it was only a matter of time… what did she say” Becca mumbled the words a little too quickly due to her anxieties, and Eddie sighed softly as he tried to be reassuring “she tried to say she had a stroke due to stress-”

Becca actually audibly laughed at that, her eyes closing as she giggled but nothing was cute or charming about it as Richie watched her laughing.  Just the fact that she could laugh at that was fucking sad.

“Of course she fucking did, wow a stroke, wonder if she picked that up in her creative writing class” Becca said with a sad smile, her eyes shiny from the tears built up in her eyes.  Beverly didn’t know what to say as she watched them.

“Yeah, she also said we kidnapped you and then left a letter for you to read but… Becca, I want you to know you don’t have to read it.  With the way she was acting, I imagine the whole thing is just a massive guilt trip-”

“Nah, I wanna read it” Becca whispered, her words slurred slightly from how raw she felt.  Eddie felt himself start to cry with her, and Beverly felt her hand covering her mouth in shock as Richie moved to the counter to pick up the letter, looking at it one last time before shuffling back over to Becca.

“No, I want to… It’ll make me crazier if I don’t read it but… can we go back to the hotel and read it? I don’t… I don’t feel good being here-”

“Sweetheart, of course we can, to be honest I don’t feel good being here right now either” Eddie whispered, looking over at Richie with the question in his eyes.  Richie couldn’t help but nod.

“Yeah Bec, I wouldn’t want you being alone tonight anyway, not if you're reading that thing, let's head out” Richie said softly, placing a hand on her head in comfort as Richie and Eddie walked her out the door, her DS forgotten as Becca followed Richie and Eddie to their car.

“Bevvy, I think I’m gonna ride with my parents if thats ok” she asked and Beverly could only nod before running over to her and pulling her into a tight hug.

“Of course Becca, I understand…” she whispered, pulling back to look at her “and Honey, I don’t know what happened between you and your mom but… her words don’t matter, I went through a similar situation, you just… you have to remember that her words don't define you, but I know your smart and you get that, just... don't let her get to you, because you know the kind of person you are”.

Becca’s eyes glistened again before she blinked and nodded, hugging Beverly one last time as she whispered to Eddie and Richie “text me if you need me” before separating from her and turning back to her car.  Becca turned around silently and walked into the backseat, climbing in with the envelope still in her hands as Richie and Eddie looked at each other in concern.

The drive back to the hotel was quiet.  A lot of Becca being stuck in her brain, tracing the words of her mother’s handwriting with her finger as Richie and Eddie took turns looking at her in concern.

When they finally did pull into the parking lot, she stepped out into the night air, rubbing her eyes with her sleeve as she ripped open the envelope, pulling out the letter.

“Bec, sweetie, you sure you don’t wanna go inside and read-”

“Nah too claustrophobic to be in there right now, I just… I’ll be fine” she whispered, shakily pulling out the pages and reading through the handwritten pages.  Eddie jumped a little as he felt Richie coming up behind him, placing a hand on Eddie’s shoulder as they both watched Becca read it, her smaller form pacing back and forth slightly as she worked her way down, scoffing occasionally at the words.

Eventually she lowered the letter and her pacing stopped before she walked back over to Eddie and handed it off to her dad.

“She didn’t even apologize…” Becca said it softly, but she didn’t sound like she was on the brink of tears anymore, she just sounded sad and way too old for her age “she said she was ‘sorry I felt this way’ she didn’t even fucking apologize for what she said”.

“Beccy…” Eddie whispered sadly, tossing the letter on the hood of the car and holding Becca as she prepared to break down, but she didn’t.  She couldn’t even bother to cry. She just wanted the comfort as the realization of what her mother was sunk deeper.

“Did she say she’d go to therapy” Becca asked, and Richie hated the bit of hope that could be heard in Becca’s tone, knowing full well it would be snuffed out “it… it isn’t likely sweetheart...”.

“Yeah, figures right…” Becca whispered, pulling back to look at them both as she sighed in defeat “fuck her, I don’t need her, Richie’s been more of a mom to me than she ever has so-”

“Hey, why am I the mom” Richie grumbled, and everyone got quiet before Becca broke first and started laughing, finally cutting through the tension of the letter as Becca laughed harder at Richie’s words.

“Nah you’re right, dad your mom now, and Richie you can be my dad, fucking Myra can be replaced” Eddie almost made a joke until he heard her call her mom by her first name and he froze, once again just feeling like shit that this is the point they were at.  That Myra had gone so far off the deep end that her own daughter refused to call her mom .

So instead of making a joke, Eddie just pulled her back into another hug, holding her tightly as she stood motionless in Eddie’s grasp before slowly wrapping her arms around Eddie in return.  Richie stared at them only a moment before he hugged them both, wrapping an arm around both of their shoulders as the Eddie shook slightly.

“I’m so sorry Beccy” Eddie whispered, not even sure what he was apologizing for, but he felt the compulsion to do so as tears started to slip past his eyes.  Becca just shrugged in his grip, trying to comfort Eddie with her hug alone “its ok, I have a family that cares about me, I have more than I could have ever hoped for… I have you, my friends, the Loser’s, Richie...''

Eddie sniffled a little at that as Richie watched him, petting Eddie’s hair gently as he tried to reassure him.  

“I’ll be ok, I promise… please just don’t apologize, this isn’t your fault” she whispered, coming to the realization before Eddie that he was apologizing for the divorce “you didn’t make her this way Dad, that's just who she is… it's who she’s always been”

“Eddie…” Richie whispered, looking at him with so much concern before Eddie pulled his head back up nodding as he looked down at Becca.

“You’re right… I know you’re right, shit… I’m trying to comfort you and I;m the one breaking down, I’m so sorry Bec” Eddie whispered and Becca just gave him a reassuring grin “nah, its ok, you are a bit of a wimp, so I get it” Becca seemed to finally be falling back into her old groove as Eddie chuckled, wiping his eyes with his hand as Richie stroked his shoulder in reassurance.

“Jesus you’re not wrong, and oh my god Richie, I cannot believe you told her you were my ‘w’ word, if I wasn’t so panicked I would have been dying” Richie grinned a little at that, looking at Eddie fondly “I mean, she asked, and I figured she deserved to see your new trophy wife if she was gonna come barging in”.

“Richie, what’s the ‘w’ word-”

“Illegal, now get in the hotel room Gremlin, I need a moment with your dad” Richie said and Becca gave a half salute as she started making her way to the front “JUST DON’T TAKE TEN YEARS, I WANNA WATCH THE SIMPSONS, OH AND RICHIE-”

Richie didn’t say anything but his eyes raised in question at her shout.  She was jogging back over to them as she pulled Richie into a hug, leaving Richie shocked at the embrace.

“I meant what I said, you really have been more of a parent to me than she ever was so… thank you dad, I love you”

Before Richie could even respond she was darting off again, waving behind her as she ran into the hotel, leaving Richie flabbergasted.

“What the fuck am I supposed to say after that, holy shit I’m gonna fucking cry Eddie” Richie stuttered as Eddie gave a small laugh, placing a hand on Richie’s hips and holding him there “I told you she fucking loved you Richie”.

“Yeah I know but- I guess I just wasn’t expecting her to call me her fucking dad, my minds just melting a bit” Eddie laughed harder in response to that, staring up at him with a fond smile “if you don’t like it, I can tell her to stop or-”

Richie kissed Eddie to shut him up, placing a hand on Eddie’s cheek like he’d wanted to earlier, fucking reveling in the feeling before pulling back, leaving Eddie breathless.

“Nah, she might as well be my kid Eddie, I fucking adore her, wouldn’t trade it for the world” Richie grinned at him and Eddie felt his heart inflate, tears building as they smiled at eachother, Richie pressing his forehead against Eddie’s so fucking intimately.  

“I’m… I’m so fucking happy you feel that way Rich” Eddie sobbed as Richie shushed him, petting his hair in reassurance “Of course I’d feel that way Ed's, she’s your kid, of course I fucking love her, even if she’s a complete Gremlin-” 

Eddie hit him at that and Richie laughed, pulling his head back as Eddie crossed his arms in defiance.

“You know I got her friends to call her Trashmouth right” Richie smirked and Eddie’s head shot over to look at Richie almost comically, his eyes wide at the information.

“YOU FUCKING DIDN’T-”

“I absolutely did Ed’s and she was pissed the entire car ride home” Richie said it between giggles, placing a hand over his mouth as they their other hands naturally came together as they walked inside.

“That should have been the first fucking sign I guess, she’s carrying on your legacy” Eddie groaned, shaking his head sadly as Richie shoved him excitedly “THAT’S WHAT I FUCKING SAID… oh and I wanted to tell you everything pre-Myra tonight? Oh my god Eddie, it was…” he made a gesture that looked like a chef’s kiss as Eddie’s one eyebrow shot up in question.

“Really? A fucking chef gesture, that’s what I get? How romantic of you-”

Richie kissed his cheek, wrapping an arm around Eddie’s shoulder she they kept walking, pulling him closer.

“Eddie, the sex was mind-blowing and I want to lick chocolate off of your abs, lets schedule an appointment and make it happen, is that better for you-”

“Jesus… shut the fuck up Richie”.

He didn’t.

Chapter Text

Richie stared at the blinking line on his computer like it was taunting him.  As he’d done all morning since he and Eddie had woken up at the hotel.  He was alone now since Eddie had taken Becca out to go get breakfast, and he kept subconciously fucking with his glasses as if the gesture would somehow help him make progess.  He still had the material his manager had sent him pulled up in a separate tab.  Richie didn’t know why he left it there, but maybe he figured seeing it there would scare him into coming up with something (anything) that was better.

It’s not like the material was even bad.  Probably written by some young frat boy writer about twenty years younger than him, and he knows that's his typical audience.  Ever since Eddie, and the process of slowly regaining his memories, just the thought of saying the material made him nauseous.  Not because it was bad, but because it just wasn't him.  It was who he used to be.  The awkward scared kid who told dick jokes to annoy his friends.  Doing it for attention.  Bragging about having a big dick and pretending he was fucking Eddie’s mom for attention.  He knew that wasn’t who he was now though. He could finally be the person he’d always wanted to be, so to pretend like he hadn’t changed felt almost like a betrayal.  

More than that, how could he get on a stage and pretend to have some nameless, faceless girlfriend with Eddie RIGHT FUCKING THERE.  Eddie had insisted that Richie could come out in his own time with no pressure whatsover, but he knew deep fucking down that doing these jokes in front of Eddie would hurt him.  Plus, ever since Eddie had given Becca permission to come along since 'she wouldn't pay attention anyway' (Eddie was lying to himself), he was scared that saying this material would incur Becca’s wrath.

He really didn’t want to do either of those things.

So here he was, blankly staring at the only words he’d typed onto his document.

‘I haven’t been entirely honest with you all…’

He rubbed his face in frustration as he scrunched over on the office chair, feeling like he was going to fall out of it when he heard a knock at the door, and he quickly rushed to push his glasses back up as he scrubbed a hand through his hair to make it look less like it’d been ripped out from pure frustration moments prior.

“WHO IS IT” Richie shouted, knowing it wasn’t Eddie since he’d have just come in.

“It’s me idiot, let me in” he heard Stan mutter from outside, and Richie quickly pushed out of his chair, moving barefoot across the carpet until he reached the door.

“Well hello Stanny Boy, what's it been, another twenty seven years” he smirked as Stan just glared at him blankly “it’s been roughly thirteen hours, you smell bad and you aren't funny”.

Richie let out a nervous laugh “wow, way to lead into your insults there Stan, and you're probably just smelling the leftover bird shit from your outdoor excursion this morning, Bevvy told me you two had a blast” Stan made his way onto the guest bed and sat down, holding his hands in front of him and staring at Richie.

“We did, you know we actually managed to find an Acorn Woodpecker along with a Black Phoebe, and I swear I thought-”

Stan quit speaking as Richie began to make snoring noises, causing Stan to shut his mouth in a straight line and furrow his eyebrows.

“Wow, how polite of you, and yet I listen so nicely when you cry about Eddie and tell me shitty jokes” Stan said with a disbelieving shake of his head as Richie reopened his eyes and grinned at him “Stan, come on, this is just me getting even, don’t act like this isn’t one of my shitty jokes-”

“Speaking of shitty jokes, how’s your stand-up routine coming along?”

Immediately all traces of joy left Richie’s face like water being drained away in a sink.  

“Oh uh… to be honest not well, I’m stuck on a bout of writer's block and-”

Suddenly he was interrupted by Stan’s own noises of snoring and Richie glared from behind his glasses.

“Wow. Haha fucking hilarious, here why don’t you come up here and write my stand-up yourself  then since your so funny, you massive dick” Richie ground out, but his humored smile gave away that he wasn’t actually mad as Stan opened one eye and smirked at him, standing up from the bed.

“Well, with a compliment like ‘massive dick’ how can I refuse?  What do you have done so far” Stan asked as he came up beside Richie, standing next to where Richie was reseated in his office chair “oh, uh, I literally have one sentence… like, I know I can’t do the material that they sent me, I’m not gonna do that to Eddie, but…”.

Stanley stared for a minute, pushing his own reading glasses onto his nose as he read out the sentence.

“So you’re going to tell people the truth” Stanley noted as Richie shrugged childishly in his chair, practically falling out of it somewhat like a ten year old.

“Well, if your doing that, does that mean you’re willing to talk about… you know, the being gay thing?”

“I… I don’t know Stan. I know for a fact I can’t tell the girlfriend jokes in front of Eddie but… I also don’t know if I’m ready, I-” Stan placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder in the middle of his panic “wow, slow down Richie, it's fine, you don’t have to do that, I mean you’re pretty famous, I couldn’t even imagine what I’d do coming out to my close family, let alone coming out to the entire world. No one will think less of you, especially not Eddie”.

Richie pushed up his glasses in frustration as he rubbed his eyes “yeah I know, I just” Richie trailed off again as he shook his head, hands dropping back down to his chest to cross as he leaned forward, glasses falling back down onto his nose.

“Have you thought about… I don’t know, talking about the Loser’s and all the shit you got up to when we were kids” Stan suggested, crouching down slightly to be more eye level with the laptop and Richie shrugged looking at him “I mean, I still can barely remember half of our memories, plus I don’t think me bringing up a clown trying to kill us will come across as believable in my routine, nor very funny-”

“No, Rich, come on, I’m not talking about the fucking clown, and I know their not all back but did you ever think about all the crap we spent time sifting through as we read your script, like the story of all of us playing hide and seek as kids, and you and Eddie made bets that the other would get found first because ‘you can’t be quiet for more than ten minutes without screeching about Ed’s mom’, and how you were so desperate to prove him wrong you nearly shit yourself by hiding in a tree and wound up getting stuck-”

“I actually did shit myself a little but it wasn’t because I was hiding, it was because I couldn’t get down-” Stan went quiet for a moment as he stared open mouthed at Richie for a moment, eyebrows rising in shock before continuing “ok uh, anyway, the point is that story was retold vaguely in a scene in your script and reading the line made me remember that story.  You know we did a lot of shit back when we were kids, before the clown”.

Richie nodded in understanding, leaning back.  It wasn’t his typical stuff, but it also wasn’t a full blown coming out story.  However…

Stan wasn’t really thinking about these stories from Richie’s perspectives.  How that day Eddie had climbed into the tree to help get him down, cursing him out and scared shitless himself that his mom would find out he did this.  How he held Richie’s hand as he helped ease him down. 

“Oh, you’re getting down you fucker, because if you don’t, then I don’t and if I don’t, I’m gonna spend a week in the fucking ER with my mom checking for broken bones, so you better get brave and jump down onto that branch, or I’ll fucking give you a shortcut and push you straight to the ground” 

Little memories came flooding back, if only somewhat.  How close he and Eddie were as kids.  Things he’d never even remembered.

Richie breaking his glasses from a fall off his bike when they were ten, and Eddie reaching into his shitty fanny pack to give him band-aids neosporin and tape to fix his glasses.  He remembered teasing Eddie, telling him ‘how often do you hurt yourself?’ just for Eddie to snap back ‘I keep it for when your mom gets a little too rough with me in bed’ and Richie had gaped at him like a fucking idiot.  Really though, he’d never been more touched in his life.  He’d gone home that night and rubbed his fingers over the tape holding the frame of the glasses together.  Not even caring about how stupid it made his glasses look.  Just pleased that it reminded him of Eddie.

He remembered getting the shit kicked out of him by that bully, by Bower’s if he recalled right. The guy had called him a fag and nearly broken his nose.  Eddie had noticed and fucking picked up a massive stick nearly twice his fucking size and hit him in the shin. Bower’s had been so caught off guard that Eddie had time to grab Richie’s hands and drag him off.  They’d held hands.  It was the first time they’d held hands.

After that it had become a habit.  

Long nights of breaking into Eddie’s room through his window, being mindful to not alert Mrs. K.  That came back to him. Feeling the sheer panic of sitting just a little too close to him as they watched horror movies.  Eddie carefully placing a hand over his own.  He blamed it on being scared.  The two sitting shoulder to shoulder and proceeding to never say a fucking word.

Stan must have seen the realization hitting Richie because he gave Richie a pat on the back, which knocked Richie out of his moment of shock.

“See?  It wasn’t all doom and gloom in Derry, you had us” and he had Eddie.

He’d always had Eddie.

He always would.

“Yeah I… we really did have some times…” Richie murmured, realizing like a crushing weight that Eddie was the endgame for him.  They might be different now.  Eddie was a lot more restrained than he was as a kid.  More realistic fears and less high-pitched yelling.  Yet at his core he was still Eddie.  And Richie had been in love with Eddie since… fucking forever.

With a decisive nod, he placed his hands on the keyboard, suddenly struck by a rush of inspiration.

He froze that inspiration momentarily though and turned to look at Stanley, moving one arm to pull Stanley into a hug.

“Thank you Stan, you know your my best friend ever right, like... I fucking love you dude” Richie whispered, and Stanely just grinned and hugged him back “you too man… I mean shit, I fucking missed you so much Richie…” Stan whispered, wrapping both hands around Richie’s shoulders.

They hugged for a good while before Stan got uncomfortable and pulled back, moving to lean against the wall.

“You looked like you were in the midst of a midlife crisis earlier Rich, did something come back that I should know about” Stan asked as he watched Richie begin typing frantically, like he’d break his fucking keyboard from typing so fast as he paused to look at Stan “yeah, you made me realize something… hey Stan, how would you feel about being my best man”

Stan stared at him with wide eyes, mouth falling open before he closed it to gulp.

“I-I’d be honored Rich- are you fucking serious?”

“I’ve never felt more confident about anything in my life- now I know you only came here to watch my Game of Thrones DVD’s, don’t worry, I can take it from here, feel free to help yourself, I’ll just be working on this… thank you Stan”  Stanley laughed slightly as he pushed off the wall and onto the bed “look, I never bought HBO and so far I love Daenerys, so sue me”

With that Richie worked on the material.  And he worked and worked and worked until he hadn’t even noticed that Stan had left hours ago. It had gotten further and further into the afternoon, and he figured Eddie and Becca should have been home by now, but they’d had a rough few days so he could only assume they were somewhere on an interstate hugging and crying their emotions out.  It’s just what they did.

Eventually Richie was done, and even he was shocked as he stared at the completed routine.  He knew it wouldn’t be hard for him to memorize.  Eighty percent of this was just his life.  Not difficult to recount memories.  His only real concern now was how his manager would react.  How his fans would react.  Honestly though, his fear of them was significantly smaller than his fear of hurting Eddie, or his fear of lying to himself for another twenty years.

He saved the script and decided he’d finish one last errand, quickly sprinting out of the hotel like a crazy person and hopping in his car, practically speeding to the local mall.  

Time went by fast after that.  He purchased what he needed and headed back to the hotel, seeing a text from Eddie on his way back inside.

Me and Becca are out getting some stuff, dumb ass wanted me to buy her a new game as a reward for sitting through your shitty standup.

We’re going to just head straight to the venue.  If I don’t see you before hand, break a leg!

Except don’t do that because I don’t want you to injure yourself.

Point is, I love you and don’t die.

Good luck!

All the texts had been sent one after the other and Richie smiled down at Eddie’s impromptu rant.  This was all gonna be worth it.  He just hoped his jokes would live up.  He hoped all of it would turn out ok and not blow up in his face like so much else had in his life.

Finally he headed off to the venue.  He didn’t see Eddie’s car (which he’d figured would happen since he had to get there an hour early for rehearsals and soundchecks) so he went straight inside, running into his assistant Mac almost immediately.

“Holy shit Rich, its been fucking forever, did you die, are you ok-”

“Mac, I am not doing the material you and Regina sent me, I wrote my own, and I’m telling you all of this now because I don’t want you to panic when we practice it” Richie blurted just a little too quickly, out on the spot and causing Mac to gape at him in horror.

“W-wha-”

“Better that you don’t think too hard about it kid, I promise everything will be fine” Richie really was just hoping everything would be fine, but Mac seemed to buy it as he nodded blankly in response, stepping backwards back into the hallway and twisting his body around to stumble off like a nervous zombie as Richie decided to do the inevitable.

He dialed his managers number.

She answered on the second ring.

“Rich, I swear to God if you’re calling to cancel on me, I’m coming to slit your throat-”

“Regina, hey yeah… no, I’m here, stage is here, everything is going according to plan, but-”

“Oh thank fuck, your gonna drive me to drink again Rich-”

“I’m doing my own material though-”

They both said it at the same time, both shutting up and leaving the phone silent for a solid ten seconds before Regina snapped.

“Are you fucking serious, Rich you haven’t done your own material in fucking years, you said it yourself that you didn’t like it” Richie rolled his eyes before he responded “yeah but heres the thing, I wasn’t really in a good place when I wrote those, and to be honest with you, I had a lot of personal shit that kept my work from being honest-”

“Rich…”

“No hear me out Regina, its good, this is good, and also I’m gay and dating the man I told you about, the one I cancelled the New York interview for, and I am in fucking love with him Regina, and I’m gonna fucking ask him to marry me tonight, and this standup is about him, and us growing up together, and our shitty dipshit friends, and I know I didn’t send you the work first, I know that and I’m sorry, but you thought my script was good enough to send in, you know I can write, and you know I have promise so just… please, please trust me when I tell you that I haven’t half-assed this and it's going to be great…”

Richie let out a long exhale at the end of his speech, listening to the void of silence on the other end of the line.  Regina hadn’t spoken.  Richie felt his breathing getting heavier the longer that silence went on.  His heart dropped when he heard her sigh in what sounded like annoyance before-

“Fuck Rich, are you sure about this?  It’s a lot harder for gay comedians, you know that” she whispered and Richie nodded before he responded “I can’t keep lying to myself Regina, I don’t care that it’ll be harder, I need to do this”.

She got quiet again as Richie practically bit his nails.

“Fine Tozier, I’ll be there in an hour for your performance…” she stated firmly and Richie felt the anxiety in his chest ease almost immediately “please just… handle this well, make yourself look good out there-”

“You’re PR is showing Regina” Richie snarked and he could almost see Regina’s smile in response “well you have no sense of public relations so one of us has to prepare… and Tozier?”

He let out a ‘hmm’ noise as he waited for her response.

“I’m proud of you”

She then proceeded to hang up the phone, not even bothering to wait for an answer, like she always did.  Richie felt as if he could cry.  

The soundchecks went smooth.  None of the stage people seemed to notice that the material he performed wasn’t the actual material.  None but Mac, who looked like he could hyperventilate still, but to be honest, that was the kids natural state.  Richie had given him a glass of whiskey to help him relax. Unfortunately it didn’t seem to work as he was now sweating profusely and trying to find a chaser to wash out the taste of the drink.

The time came as Richie sat backstage in a near panic, staring at all the texts from the Loser’s wishing him luck.  Re-reading the texts from Eddie to reassure himself.  He knew he was doing what he needed to do.  That this was the right thing.  Sadly, the right thing was a really fucking scary thing to do, and Richie drank his own glass of his alcohol just to attempt at calming his nerves.  

“Richie?” 

He shot his head up to look at Mac, sweating really bad and face looking paler than usual as Mac looked back at him nervously.

“It’s time man…” 

Richie let out a shaky breath, looking at the bottle of whiskey one more time before turning away and walking out of the room.  He didn’t want to do this completely shitfaced.  He just needed to get his shit together and calm the fuck down.

Telling himself that didn’t seem to make it any easier to actually perform the action in question though.

Mac followed closely behind him, not saying a word as Richie made his way to the side of the stage, staring at the big empty space like it was taunting him.

Fucking everyone would be out there.  This was it.  How could he do this?  What the fuck would he do if he froze up?  He felt the ice in his chest fill again as he-

Ding

Richie heard his phone ring and put a shaky hand in his pocket to look at it, noticing the text from Eddie.  He opened it up to see a picture of Eddie and Becca together, must have been taken out there in the audience somewhere because they were in the venue. 

Sending you this to hype you up, we’re gonna throw tomatoes at you if your jokes are shit.

Both sending our love!

Fucking kill it Richie!

Richie smiled down at his phone.  

He handed it off to Mac.

“Dude, are you ok, are you gonna be alright to do this-”

“Yeah I’ll be fine” Richie smiled at him, finally letting out a small breath to hype himself up.  Eddie and Bec were out there rooting for him.  Somewhere out there Stan, Mike Bev and Ben were out there too.  He could do this, he knew he could.  

He absolutely would kill it for them.

He stepped onto the stage, waving at the audience as they applauded.  It was a similar scene.  So similar to basic venues he’d done before, yet everything was different.

“HEY, WOW, YOU GUYS ARE ROWDY TONIGHT” he shouted just a little too loud from the remaining nerves in his chest, but he kept up his smile, pointing at a random audience member “ESPECIALLY YOU SIR, PLEASE QUIT JUMPING, THE TEENAGE GIRL WHO SNUCK INTO THIS SHOW IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU AND CANNOT SEE”.

It got a couple laughs.  People always enjoyed when Richie interacted with the crowd.  The dude he called out cheered, flipping him off in jest.

“Wooow, that’s just rude, now I have to leave because my feelings are hurt” he made a point to pretend to walk back offstage with the mic, quickly swerving back the other way at the disappointed noises from the audience.  It only cracked him up a bit to imagine Eddie out there rolling his eyes at all the people playing along with his dumb jokes.

“Wow, great crowd tonight, my mom really pulled through with the invitations” more laughs. Fucking breath Richie.

He scanned the crowd until finally-

There they were.

His eyes locked with Eddies and while he couldn’t just wave him down, he smiled at him, watching as Eddie gave him an exaggerated head shake (probably from the rabid audience) but still grinned at him despite it, raising whatever fruity mixed drink he had bought up at him in a toast.  This was it.  He was ready.

“So, I haven’t been totally honest with you all these past few years; oh no don’t boo, it's nothing too bad but a lot of the jokes I used to tell? They weren’t really my life” the crowd got silent, which scared him momentarily until he relocked his eyes with Eddie, who had his own eyes narrowed in confusion before he moved his gaze back to the rest of the crowd.

“Yeah I know, the local Trashmouth exaggerating the truth? Yeah who would have guessed” a couple of awkward laughs came as he stumbled his way forward.  He was too deep into this to turn back now.

“What? Did you guys really think I went to see Darkened fucking Mourge? That movie looked like shit; and more than that, my “deep seated childhood traumas™”  would not have let me within a ten mile fucking radius of a horror movie” he got a couple more laughs, he was reigning this in.  That was a good fucking sign “remember kids, a little negative trauma CAN have positives when your old as fuck and slightly introverted like me, because it kept me from having to see that peice of shit in a theatre. I mean fuck, did you know that the fucker got a TWO on rotten tomatoes, I didn’t even know that was a thing that could fucking happen, what the fuck did they have to do to get a two, even that shitty talking cat movie had a FOURTEEN, and they tase a fucking CGI cat in that right before letting it drink a bottle of bourban, so how is your film somehow WORSE than that”.

He laughed at his own dumb joke along with the audience before continuing.

“Either way, yeah all bullshit, because I didn’t go see “Darkened Morgue”, and I am not a fucking stoner, though I do dabble socially for all you stoner stan’s who are raising your pitchforks at me, please pipe down, aha get it? pipe? I’ll write out my formal apology for that joke later tonight, right after I get fired for being unfunny” 

The laughs helped to ground him from losing his nerve.

“But no, I’m not those things, and I don’t have a girlfriend and WOW suprise of the week, I never will have a girlfriend because I’m actually really gay”

There it was.  The words were out there now.  

His eyes roamed to Eddie in the midst of the shocked silence to see Eddie staring at him in (who would have guessed) shock; his mouth hanging open stupidly and Richie almost wished he could take a picture of it. 

‘Yeah’ he thought to himself, ‘this is all for you baby’.

He decided to break the silence himself.

“So cutting into your straight midlife crises, yes I AM gay, and I’m really only telling you all of this so I can tell you my ACTUAL traumatizing life stories, mainly involving my talents of using humor to cope with said “trauma™”, the inevitable fear of the grave, getting funky with alcoholism, and how much I fucking adore my boyfriend Eddie fucking Kaspbrak, who I won’t point out where he is to all of you tonight because I don’t want him to have a gay panic attack, but wow what a looker he is, with his hobbit legs and his pretty fucking eyes that are so goddamn expressive, you can somehow actually see his existential fear inside them” he got a couple of ‘woos’ from the audience, maybe he could bring this back “so yes I’m gay and I love my boyfriend, just bought my rainbow keychain and everything so legally I’ve been given permission to announce this to you all from my senior gay officials down at the HQ”

Despite the occasional one-off cheers, the shocked silence was still almost deafening.  Richie knew it had realistically only been a minute or two tops but the void of noise made it feel like hours, and RIchie could feel his resolve cracking as he let out a nervous chuckle to the audience, prepared to watch the entire crowd of people either boo him or leave.  He waited again as a few people whooped in the silence.  At least he had some supporters since this shit was bombing-

Clap

It came out of the corner of the room before it became more excessive.  More continuous.  He looked over to see Eddie, his fucking Eddie, standing up amongst the crowd looking like he was on the verge of tears and clapping for him.  Becca stood next to him, putting both fingers in her mouth as she whistled loudly, and eventually, no more than two seconds later, the other Loser’s were clapping with him.

The next thing he knew, nearly every member of the audience was clapping.  All standing and whistling at him as he laughed nervously into the mic, trying desperately not to cry all over his stage make-up.

“Wow uh, this certainly wasn’t the reaction I was expecting but…” he looked around the crowd, trying to give a glance to as many audience members as he could “thank you… I really just- you guys are amazing, thank you”.

The clapping kept going and Richie felt himself starting to get embarrassed.  He put his forehead on the mic stand with a small bonk, grinning like an idiot as everyone cheered more loudly at his embarrassment, finally hitting him with inspiration to continue.

“Alright, alright, you have all made your points, we stan gay Richie, but if you guys don’t quit clapping and cheering for the greatness that is me, your never gonna get to hear my fantastic story of when I shit myself in a tree-”

“KEEP CLAPPING-” he heard someone shout from the audience and he grinned widely at the knowledge that it had to be Eddie.

“Don’t listen to him, my poop jokes are of the highest caliber, and I’ll be damned if I shield the world from my art”

He kept the act going, talking about everything in his act.  All the best times with the Loser’s.  His horrifically handled childhood crush.  His even more horrifically handled adult crush.  He even made sure to sprinkle in how both he and Eddie collectively needed pep talks from a middle-aged bird enthusiast and a fucking twelve year old.  He was actually shocked by how well the crowd had responded.  

This was everything he had ever wanted but was always too scared to try and get.  Now that he was here though, staring off into the crowd, glancing to his left to look at Eddie, he had no idea what it was he was scared of.  He realized in that moment that even if the crowds had left and everyone had turned on him, at least the Loser’s would still be there waiting for him.  Cheering him on.  They were the only ones in this crowd who’s opinion mattered.  

He keeps working through his sets with his new found confidence, grinning to himself whenever he watches the audience eat the jokes up.  

“You’ve all been a great therapy session, I can’t get enough of this, but I genuinely have to go, because my manager is a demon from hell who will try to upcharge you if we go over the hour and a half of bad content, HI REGINA LOVE YOU” he heard a few disappointed noises from the audience and placed a hand over his heart, looking touched “I know, I know, but I will always cherish our brief time together, just like I did with Eddie’s mom all those years ago, RIGHT ED’S-”

“DON’T CALL ME THAT-” he heard Eddie’s shout from the crowd and grinned.

“LOVE YOU SWEETHEART, OK, THANKS FOR COMING TONIGHT EVERYBODY, IT'S BEEN A DREAM” he gave one last wave as he placed the mic back and stepped off the stage, walking off to the side as he hurried to find his phone.

“Oh my god Rich, you were amazing-”

“Wow, so honored, thank you, I’m thrilled to hear that, say do you have my phone” Richie asked him, and Mac quickly nodded and handed him the cell, Richie grabbing it out of his hand and not wasting any time in dialing Eddie’s number with shaky fingers.

“Tozier, long time no see, you were fantastic up there, I especially love the part where you called me a ‘demon from hell’” he looked up to see Regina grinning at him, and Richie just grinned stupidly back, quickly walking up to her, his phone still in hand as he pulled her in a hug.

“Regieeee” he sung badly into her ear, causing her to yank back “and that's enough physical contact for the year.  I came her to tell you your trending on twitter”

Richie got a little nervous; he’d never really used twitter much, but he also wasn’t a moron, and he knew that trending could either be a very, very good thing, or a very, very bad thing.

“Oh uh… what... what are they saying?”

“Well obviously we have a few hecklers, a couple of rednecks demanding their money back for not ‘coming to the show for gay content’ but everything else Rich? It’s all pretty positive.  They liked the material.  They liked your material”.

Richie nodded profusely as he tried to keep emotion off of his face as he held out his hand to Regina.

“I don’t know what else to say aside from thank you Regie, and I’m so thrilled to be able to say this to you in person, because you can’t hang up on me” he shouted as she glared at him, rolling her eyes as she walked off “whatever Tozier, go visit with your boyfriend, give him my best, and Jesus Christ, celebrate... anything to get you out of my hair for the evening”.

Richie smiled, re-dialing Eddie’s number and lifting the phone up to his ear.

“You fucking complete idiot, oh my god, I cannot fucking believe you-”

“Eddie Spaghetti, I heard you heckling me in the audience, that's just so disrespectful” Richie was smiling like an idiot as Eddie’s loud ranting voice popped back into his ear “fuck you, I swear to God Richie I almost fucking cried, what the fuck, where are you, stupid fucking idiot-”

“Meet me out front, I have to finish up a few more things back here, I’ll meet you at the front of the venue in say… twenty minutes?”

He heard Eddie sigh and could just imagine Eddie shaking his head in annoyance.

“I still cannot fucking believe you, what is this shit a Hallmark movie, I fucking love you so goddamn much fucking stupid bitch, meet me out front-”

“Oh my god Eddie are you crying-” Richie whispered, putting a hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing as he heard Becca screech in the background “HE IS”.

“Awww Ed’s”

“FUCK OFF”

And with that, the phone call ended as Eddie abruptly hung up, leaving Richie rushed to change out of his clothes, pulling off his stage make-up and attempting to escape the rest of his obligations as he rushed towards the backstage side exit.  It was chillier out now than it was earlier.  He walked around the brick building down the alley that cut onto the street before he heard yelling.

Fuck.

He circled around the corner of the wall to see fucking Myra.  She wasn’t yelling at Eddie.  Eddie hadn’t made it outside yet.  She was screeching at the pour doorman, demanding to be let in because ‘her child was in there’.  Fuck.

He pulled up his phone, dialing Eddie’s number.
Eddie answered on the third ring.

“You impatient asshole, Becca wanted snacks, which by the way, these are overpriced as fuck and this is a highway robbery, but despite that we’ll be out in a sec-”

“Eddie, fuck no, Myra’s out front trying to get in the venue” 

Eddie went quiet as he absorbed that information, and Richie quickly readjusted his glasses and turned the corner to peek out, noticing Myra still standing there with her arms crossed waiting on them.

“Fuck… how did she know we’d be here-”

“I told her my fucking full name last night like a complete idiot, I bet she looked me up and just assumed you’d come-”

“Fuck… you’re right, goddamn it Richie-”

“I’m sorry baby-”

“Fuck, I’m not mad at you, idiot, I’m just mad at life… shit, wait Bec-”

He heard some shuffling on the other end of the phone.  He could hear Eddie and Becca talking.  Then yelling.  There was a lot of static and white noise as he heard Eddie shouting on the other line before he lowered the phone to peek once again just to watch Becca’s small frame shove the front door open and approach her mom.

“Beccy-Boo, it's been so long sweeti-”

“FUCK YOU, FUCK OFF” she screamed and Richie stared as he watched Eddie sprinting out the door after her,  the other Loser’s trickling in behind him and staring in horror as Becca glared straight in front of her mom.

“Baby, you shouldn’t be using that kind of language, is this your father's influence-”

“MY FATHER’S INFLUENCE? What am I not my own fucking person who can make her own fucking decisions? See this is what it is about you, your SO FUCKING DESPERATE to blame everybody else in your life that you don’t take TWO FUCKING SECONDS TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND REALIZE YOU’VE BEEN THE PIECE OF SHIT ALL ALONG-”

“Becca… how could you say these things, you know I’ve been sick-”

Becca huffed loudly in frustration before continuing.

“Yes, you are fucking sick, and you need therapy, but everytime I ask you to go, its always the same fucking answer, that their QUACKS because they told you criticism about yourself that YOU DIDN’T LIKE. And its purely because you don’t want to get BETTER Mom, you want people to fucking PITY you, and you wanna know what, I actually DO pity you, I pity that your going to live the rest of your life hating the world around you and being a sad, pathetic, old woman because YOUR TOO BUSY WANTING PEOPLES SYMPATHY TO EVEN BOTHER TRYING TO BE HAPPY”

They were causing a scene, Richie knew this, and according to the look on Eddie’s face, Eddie knew it too.  Eddie tried to walk up to Becca before Myra’s hawk eyes narrowed on him.

“You did this to her; turned my daughter against me and brainwashed her-” Eddie’s face morphed into anger as he opened his mouth to speak, but before the words could leave his throat Becca was on Myra again.

“FUCK NO HE DIDN’T, DON’T TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT, ALL I’VE EVER WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO QUIT BABYING ME. TO FUCKING RESPECT ME AND TREAT ME LIKE I’M MY OWN FUCKING PERSON-”

“Respect is something that is earned Becca-”

“WELL THAT’S REALLY FUCKING FUNNY COMING FROM YOU SINCE YOU CONSTANTLY DEMAND MY RESPECT, DESPITE NOT GIVING ME THE SAME IN RETURN.  DAD HAS NEVER ONCE INFLUENCED MY DECISIONS, AND HE ISN’T INFLUENCING ME NOW WHEN I TELL YOU THAT I WANT YOU TO FUCK OFF, OR I’LL CALL THE FUCKING POLICE-”

Myra scoffed.

“You can’t do that to me, I’m your mother, I have a right-”

“You have NO fucking right, you lost your rights to demand things of me when you tried using a suicide attempt to manipulate me into submission.  Better yet, you lost your right to call yourself my mother when you told me you’d wished I’d never been born-”

“I TOLD YOU ALREADY, I DIDN’T MEAN THAT”

“I KNOW YOU DIDN’T, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT, THE POINT IS THAT YOU ONLY SAID IT TO HURT ME AND TO MAKE ME HATE MYSELF, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I’LL DO YOU ONE BETTER…” she breathed heavily a moment before breathing in a shallow breath and whispering softly “just apologize to me”.

Richie noted that the silence following that statement was more tense than any he had ever experienced from an audience.

“W-what?”

“Apologize to me right now and I can believe that we could make something work here; apologize and mean it,” she whispered, and Mrya just narrowed her eyes at her, trying to step closer to Becca.

“Honey, I told you in the letter that I was sorry that they made you think like this; that you feel this way-” Myra was cut off by Becca’s choked scoff, and Becca shook her head in disbelief as tears started building in her eyes. She made brief eye contact with Richie, noticing him standing behind Myra and giving him a quick nod “lets go, fuck this”.

Becca pushed past Myra, steering away from her half-hearted attempt at grabbing her.  She ignored Myra’s words of endearment.  The demands that she come back.  She looked so done with those words and those lies.  She didn’t care, and Richie watched as Eddie moved up to Myra, face red from anger as he whispered “if you ever show up out of the blue like this again, I will call the police” nodding firmly before following after Becca, the other Loser’s giving Myra glares as they followed quickly behind.  Richie looked one last time at Myra, watching her silently as she stood there, mouth agape and still shocked at Becca just leaving. As he looked, Richie finally let Becca’s words sink in.  He wasn’t angry at Myra like Eddie, or scared for Becca’s safety.  Becca had clearly proven that she’d outgrown her.  None of those were emotions he was experiencing.  Becca was right. He did pity her.

He pitied that she’d been given this fantastic kid with so much grit and talent in her belt.  A kid who somehow managed to blaze a trail completely different from both of her parents.  Someone Richie had come to love in such a short amount of time (much like Eddie, but he’d pushed past the point of trying to compare the two of them; she was clearly her own being).  Someone so full of life and excitement.  To take that person and completely butcher everything. To treat them so poorly and to be so in denial about that treatment that the problem can never be fixed.  Just left abandoned on the side of the road.  He did pity her.  He really pitied her.  Though he’d never feel sorry for her.

As soon as Myra turned to look over at him, he turned away, following quickly after Eddie so he could avoid having to speak to her.  He had nothing to say. 

It was already starting to get dark.  The Loser’s followed after Becca aimlessly as the streetlights began to click on, concern fueling everyone as to where Becca was going.  Richie already suspected that she had no idea either.  

“Bec…” Eddie tried to whisper, but Becca didn’t seem to hear because she didn’t even turn “Bec, honey?” Beverly had sped up a little to walk next to Becca, placing a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to get her attention; to get her to stop pacing “sweetheart, she’s gone, you can stop, she didn’t follow us-”

“What the hell was that Ed’s, was she your ex-wife?” Ben stammered, and Stan just nodded tiredly.  Bill snorted in response “Wah-what a p-peice of woh-work”.

Richie kept watching behind them to ensure she was actually gone as the other Loser’s checked on Becca.  He didn’t want to risk that women messing with them when Becca seemed so vulnerable.  Despite her words earlier, he knew how emotionally drained she must have already been.  He didn’t want her to have to defend herself anymore.

"Beccy are you ok" Stan asked her softly, leaving Ben's side to walk up beside her, putting a hand on her shoulder as she finally turned her head to look at Stan, her back still to the other Loser’s "yeah, yeah I'm… I actually feel fucking great"

Everyone turned to her with a look of concern and slight skepticism.  She caught onto that quickly though and turned around to face them, Stan’s hand pulling back to let her turn as she raised up both palms in defense, her eyes still somewhat wet and glossy from her meltdown.

"Look, I know how this looks-"

"Becca…" Mike started, eyes filled so much care and worry, but he abandoned his attempt at comfort when she glared at him "no, you guys I promise, I feel… fuck I feel amazing".

Eddie stepped up to her, Richie following behind him out of what felt like pure instinct, placing a hand on Eddie’s shoulder just to give any form of comfort he could.

He could tell that Eddie was on edge right now, and that Eddie really didn't believe her statement. Under normal circumstances, Richie would probably have been skeptical too but… Richie actually kind of understood. So he decided to finally give his input.

"That was fucking bad ass Becca, holy shit did you see her face" he grinned down at her as her eyes lit up excitedly, a smile growing on her own face despite her puffy eyes and her tired expression "FUCK YES, God that felt so therapeutic, I've wanted to say that to her for so fucking long, it feels so good to have it out there-"

Eddie turned to look at Richie, finally catching on to what she meant all along.  Richie smiled at him as Eddie turned his gaze back to Becca.

"You did so fucking good sweetheart, but I swear to fuck I wanna ground you for life; I told you we were gonna sneak out of the back to avoid that confrontation" Eddie was shaking his head in exasperation as Becca laughed at that, and Eddie found himself grinning too despite the stress. He moved away from Richie’s grip as he pulled her into a hug; Becca practically burrowing into him.

"I-I’m Sorry dad… I was just tired of being afraid of her" she whispered into his shirt, clutching onto his sides as he squeezed her tighter "I know sweetheart, I'm not actually mad, I'm so fucking proud of you-"

"Yeah that was wild Becca, I mean JESUS.... Eddie you didn't tell us your wife was a crazy person-"

“Well, there is a reason I got a divorce-” Becca snorted at that, pulling out of her dads grip “you got a divorce because you were gay, the crazy just escelated from there- and speaking of gay…” Becca smirked at Richie, who’s eyes widened at now being trapped in her line of sight.

“Holy shit yeah, I got so distracted with Becca’s insane shit, HOLY FUCK TOZIER, CONGRATULATIONS ON EXITING THE CLOSET” Bev whooped, moving over to Richie and leaping onto him in a hug “GROUP HUG EVERYONE, THAT INCLUDES YOU BEC-”

Everyone quickly circled Richie as he gave half-hearted attempts at escaping, muttering a quick “guuuys stoooop” from time to time, and his pleas being answered by the group just hugging tighter.  Becca stared at them all together.  Hugging like the world was ending, and shook her head.

“Nah, this is a you guys thing, I wouldn’t wanna-”

“Beccy, you have childhood trauma and your a complete disaster; plus your Eddie’s kid, your family too, get in here” Stan stated firmly, giving Becca a side-eyed glare that caused her to gulp, fearing for her life if she were to say no.  So she didn’t.  Making her way to the side of the hug and practically, immediately being yanked into the center by Richie.

“Nope, if I have to suffer in the middle, so do you Trashmouth” he smirked at her as he watched her eyes go feral at the nickname “I TOLD YOU, THAT’S YOU, I DON’T WANT YOUR PIECE OF SHIT TITLE-”

“Aww the two Trashmouths! So cute!”

“Neh-never thought I’d see the day that t-there were two of th-them…”
“Becca, if you kick me one more time, you’re playstation account is getting deleted”

It was nice.  Simple.  The moment bleeding into one of the happiest memories Becca could recall.  One of the few times in her life she’d felt perfectly at peace.

When it ended, the Loser’s decided to celebrate by going to a burger bar.  Becca was enthused (mainly because she wasn’t being forced to eat healthy foods), and Eddie kept noticing Richie glancing at him from across the table.  Every glance filled with meaning.  Like he knew something that Eddie didn’t.  Eventually, Eddie made a half-assed comment about needing to go to the bathroom, asking Stan to watch Becca as he pulled at Richie’s sleeve.  Richie reacted about as smoothly as you could expect of him, Richie having noticed the gesture and telling the group “oh gosh, I suddenly need to shit” with a wave of his arms, which immediately got him a hit in the arm from Eddie as the other Loser’s snickered, waving them off and giving the two a few snide comments in passing.

“You gotta help him shit Ed’s?”

Eddie knew he’d never hear the end of it.

But there was too much unsaid between them.  Too much they needed to talk about.  I mean shit, Eddie was still processing his performance, and that didn-t even touch on-

“Ed’s” Richie whispered as Eddie was snapped out of his thoughts, not even realizing that they’d made it out of the restaurant and into the LA sidewalk.  Richie poked his head affectionately “you seemed a bit stuck in your head, we’ve been out here a second now”.

Eddie looked up at Richie, feeling for the box in his pocket and grinning as he felt its outline.  He grabbed Richie’s hand and began to pull him into the narrow alley to the right of the building.  It was dirty and old and everything Eddie hated, but it also was isolated, and he wanted Richie all to himself for this.

“Ed’s, your starting to scare me a bit sweetheart, did you lure me out here to mug me or seduce me, because either way its working-”

“Shut up-”

“Oooh ok, you’re getting kinky already Ed’s, I like-”

“No, I’m serious, beep beep Richie, shut up-”

The words hit Richie a little harder than they typically did, and for only a brief moment Richie was nervous.  Had something changed? Had he misread Eddie’s tone? He thought Eddie would have been excited.  Had he’d made a mistake?

Richie felt his head blank though when Eddie dropped down on his right knee, right in the middle of the dirty fucking alleyway.  Richie couldn’t breath.

“Richie… dude, baby, I fucking… FUCK I had this pre-planned and written on a napkin, but Becca wiped her fucking nose with the napkin and I had to throw it in the trash so… shit, here it goes-”

“Oh my god, Ed’s-”

“Look, if you keep interrupting, I’m gonna have a fucking asthma attack in the middle of me trying to propose dipshit, so if you could just” he gestured widely at him ‘Shut. The fuck. Up. For like ten seconds Richie”

Richie just nodded, mouth dry as he began to lower himself down with Eddie, taking both his hands as Eddie laughed a little, grinning at him “no moron, please, stand back up, I wanna do this right”.

Richie pushed back up to his full height but didn't release Eddie’s hands as he blushed up at him.  Richie had never been so awestruck from a sight in his life.  

“Richie, I know we’ve only been back together for a few months, and I know we’ve been dating even less than that but… fuck Richie, I don’t know what it is about you man.  I don’t think I’ve ever known.  I’ve just always had a gut feeling that it's you.  It’s always been you Richie, and I have no fucking doubts in my mind that if we’d been allowed to keeo our memories and we’d never disconnected, we’d be fucking married already so…” Eddie breathed in shakily, wheezing slightly as Richie squeezed his hand in reassurance, and Eddie smiled up at him in a silent thanks before moving one of his hands from Richie’s to reach into his pocket, pulling out a simple golden band “I wanted to do this right… I’m tired of all of wasted time; I know that I love you Richie.  I’ve loved you since we were small as shit and fighting intergalactic space clowns. Fuck, I probably even loved you before that, and I want to spend the rest of my shitty, consistantly panicked life with you-”

“Eddie…”

“And no pressure, but if you don’t say yes, I’ll probably walk down to the end of that alley and shriek my brains out for a solid hour-” 

“Oh my god, Ed’s-”

Richie was laughing slightly as Eddie turned his head up to look at him and glare.

“What asshole?”
Eddie’s eyes immediately fell on the box Richie held in one hand.  When it had gotten there, Eddie had no clue.  His eyes were glued to it though as Richie lowered himself down onto one knee with Eddie, still clutching at Eddie’s right hand.

“Of course I’m gonna say yes dickhead, I was literally going to propose to you at the hotel-”

“OH MY GOD, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING-”

Eddie was still staring at the box in shock, holding the ring he’d bought awkwardly at his side as he finally moved his gaze to look back at Richie, who was just smiling lopsidedly, looking like a complete idiot, but Eddie thought he’d never looked more beautiful.

“Jesus christ, I cannot believe you proposed before me, and in a dirty alleyway nonetheless-” Eddie gaped his mouth at him and glared, but Richie closed the gap before any words could exit Eddie’s mouth.  Eddie melted into it, but it barely lasted a moment before Richie was pulling back, moving his hand from Eddie’s so that he could open his own box.

“Eddie Spaghetti, light of my life and my dick, I fucking adore you more than anything on this Earth, and even spending the rest of my life with you won’t feel like enough, but despite all of that, I love you, and I want to be with you for as long as we have so…” he slipped the ring out of the box; it was silver with a few stones in the middle, but relatively simple, less plain than the one Eddie had purchased though “I’d ask if you wanna marry me, but I kind of already got my answer, so I’m just gonna-”

“We’re fucking disasters” Eddie laughed with tears in his eyes as Richie smirked, pushing the ring onto Eddie’s finger as Eddie stared at their joint hands, moving a his own ring up to hold out to Richie “here you fucking idiot, just put mine on too so I didn’t waste the money”.

“You don’t have to tell me twice baby” he laughed, “though you should put it on me Ed’s, makes it more formal that way”.

So Eddie did, blushing and nodding as he carefully took Richie’s own hand in his; placing the gold ring onto Richie’s finger and sliding it down the digit.  

They both stared at each other, their gaze lingering a little too long as Eddie let out a small laugh, Richie chuckling with him as they grinned at each other like idiots.

“Jesus ok, I fucking love you, I’m so proud of you for coming out Richie, I mean holy shit-”

“It didn’t embarrass you” Richie asked nervously, and Eddie gave him a tender as fuck expression, lifting his hand up to Richie’s jawline as smiling “you’re embarrassing as fuck, but that? I wasn’t embarrassed Richie, I’d never been more proud of you sweetheart”

Richie’s vision got cloudy as he held the hand holding his cheek, bringing the limb up to his lips and kissing Eddie’s knuckles softly.

“I love you, Ed’s” Richie whispered, smiling down at Eddie as he blushed and smiled back “I love you too dumbass”.

They stayed like that a bit longer, Richie pulling Eddie into his chest as he held Eddie’s weight in his own.  Richie felt so whole, he couldn’t even remember if he’d ever felt like this before.  If life had ever felt this good.

“Rich, I love this, and I love cuddling with you, but I’m not fucking kidding, I’ve been holding in a panic attack about being on this ground for the past like… ten minutes, and I need to be off this ground; I swear I know some crazy LA vagrant probably pissed here-”

“Which is why I’m so glad you chose it as the place to propose to me Eddie, you spared no thought in the presentation I see-”

“Fuck off, no I just couldn’t keep it in anymore, I wanted to do it outside of the comedy club but everything with Becca happened so I had to improvise” Richie smirked at Eddie as he finally lifted them both off the ground, pulling Eddie up with him as he stood, listening as Eddie just continued to babble “by the way, if everyone asks, you proposed, because I fucking swear we will never hear the end of it if they learn we proposed together”.

Richie nods in agreement, kissing Eddie’s hairline as they walk out of the alley and towards the restaurant entrance.

“Whatever you say Ed’s, you’re the genius here, I’m just your flying monkey” Richie stated playfully as Eddie hit him again “you’re fucking smart too dipshit, don’t pretend that you aren’t- oh here, I’m opening the door for you move-”

“Wow, how romantic, get the door and yell at me to ‘move’ first the alley now this, I might have to write my own Nicholas Sparks novel with the content you’re giving me-”

Eddie sighed in defeat as he opened the door, pulling Richie in with them as they moved through the crowd back to the table, watching as the Loser’s waved at them, raising their glasses as Richie turned to grin at Eddie.

“Hey turd, I love you”

“Love you too Richie-”

And then the night went on.