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“Are you sure this is going to work out?”
“Don’t worry, he’ll be too distracted to realize it was a trap.”
“Good. It’s about time they came together,” a young-looking girl placed her hands on her hips.
“Yes, it’ll surely stop his constant whining once and for all,” the other woman smiled.
Days later…
“Absolutely not! No way!” A small man jumped up from his desk covered in half-eaten snacks.
“Ranpo-san, it’s an urgent case. Why else would the government reach out to you?”
“Mmm…” Ranpo paused for a moment, the compliment catching him off guard. “Even so, you know I hate parties, Yosano!”
“I know, but it will only be for one night…” Yosano trailed off.
“The Hunting Dogs are unbearable too! Why do I have to pretend to be in love with one of them?!”
“Well, you’ll be pretending to be in love with Tecchou Suehiro.”
A pause. “But you know I hate stiff suits!”
“... Who said anything about wearing a suit?” Yosano asked with a mischievous glint in her eyes. From across the office, Dazai chuckled while Atsushi pretended not to be watching the situation unfold.
Ranpo slowly opened his eyes.
“That sounds like the perfect solution, Ranpo-san!” Kenji interrupted the conversation, unaware of the hidden meaning of Yosano’s words.
“That sounds like a shopping trip…” Atsushi added, cringing at his memory of his own shopping trip with Yosano.
“Pick a green one, Ranpo-san, it’s totally your color!” Dazai encouraged happily.
A report was suddenly thrown beside his plate of eggs with mustard. Blinking, Tecchou looked up at the vice-commander.
“Here’s your mission for tonight, don’t ask any questions. You’re gonna meet with the Armed Detective Agency's Ranpo Edogawa by the pier, got it?”
Tecchou nodded without any questions. Beside him, Jouno was making his morning coffee and pretending to ignore the existence of Tecchou's breakfast.
“We don’t normally do missions with people outside the Hunting Dogs, what’s this about?” Jouno asked curiously.
“Did I say this was your mission?” Teruko asked with a stern glare. Even though he couldn’t see it, Jouno felt the glare penetrating his soul.
“... No, vice-commander.”
“Good!” Teruko grinned happily, "Have fun, Tecchou!"
Tecchou took a bite of his eggs slathered in mustard and browsed the report. It didn’t look like the normal reports that they had, but this must be a special case. Ranpo Edogawa… he knew of the detective. He encountered him after the Hunting Dogs had a party to apologize to the Agency. From what he knew, Ranpo was boisterous, liked sweets, and had pretty green eyes. Maybe he should wear a tie to match his eyes...
Walking was boring, and painful! Hours after arguing with Yosano about not going through with this case, here Ranpo was, in a dress store of all places. Apparently, he fit the role of a wife better given his height and build. While that made sense, Ranpo half-expected this to be some type of revenge for something he had done. But, he didn't care what he wore as long as he was comfortable anyway.
“Hm… There aren’t many options here. It might be better if we go to a different store,” Yosano replied as if they hadn’t already visited three other stores.
“Ugh, my feet can’t take that!” Ranpo complained as he sat down on a small chair for shoe-trying on.
“Your feet will have to deal with heels.”
“The only heels I wear are heelys," Ranpo insisted stubbornly.
“You are not wearing heelys to this high-end event," Yosano snapped.
Ranpu huffed, giving no further reply. Boredly, he looked over the selection and spotted a forest-green dress hanging on the sales rack. Well, Dazai did say to try a green dress… Ranpo got up and tore the dress off the rack. As he reviewed the simple design, he noticed that there were holes in the sides. Could it be possible that… Ranpo moved a hand through the hole. Pockets.
“I want this one,” Ranpo declared as he held it up high for Yosano to see.
“Oh? Some white heels would go nice with that…” Yosano replied, already focusing on the next parts of Ranpo’s outfit. At that point, Ranpo officially tuned her out as they paid for the dress, got him a purse, then went to two different shoe stores until she finally settled on a pair of tan high heels.
The plan was for Yosano to drop Ranpo off at the meeting location, so after shopping the two went to Yosano’s place to get ready. Well, for Ranpo to get ready.
The dress was long enough to cover most of his legs, and he didn’t look too bad from what he saw in the mirror. Of course, he didn’t look bad in anything. Thanks to the pockets in his dress, he was also able to hold onto his glasses without putting them in his purse.
“Ranpo-san, this is your last chance, do you want me to apply some makeup?” Yosano asked from outside the room.
“Nope! It’d just smear and get messy!” Ranpo denied. He didn't like the feeling of stuff on his face either.
“I suppose that’s fair… When you’re ready, let’s go.”
Ranpo looked over at the heels in the corner, to his DS, then to his purse. This would be the hardest part.
Because Ranpo refused to walk to the pier in heels, he and Yosano took a cab to the pier. Tecchou was already there waiting, and when Ranpo saw him he felt as if he had a lump in his throat.
Ranpo had never seen Tecchou outside of his typical military outfit and did not expect for him to clean up this well. The man was wearing a black suit with a green tie and kept picking at his collar as if he was being suffocated by the clothing. Before Ranpo knew it, Yosano was opening the door and waiting for Ranpo to get out. Giving her one last annoyed look, Ranpo climbed out of the cab.
“Play nice now, I’ll pick you up later if you need it.” Yosano winked, hugged Ranpo, and closed the door. The cab was gone within seconds. Yosano didn’t hug him too often, which left him feeling confused only briefly.
Tecchou’s eyes were now focused on him, and Ranpo couldn’t tell if it was a feeling he enjoyed or hated. Instead of going up to greet him, Ranpo immediately took to peeling off his heels. Confused, Tecchou walked up to him.
“Are you… okay?”
“I’m fine, just getting these stupid heels off!” Ranpo chirped as he pulled both shoes off, then threw them as far as he could into the bay. Tecchou watched in awe, utterly confused.
“That’s much better!”
“Are you planning to go shoeless?” Tecchou tilted his head.
“Of course not, I’m have class,” Ranpo lectured as he opened his purse, pulling out a set of heelys. He then put the shoes on.
“I see…” Tecchou wished he could just throw his tight clothes off the pier, but he didn't think ahead and bring spares like Ranpo.
Ranpo finished putting the shoes on, then looked up at him. “You should carry me onto the boat!”
“Is that what couples do?”
Was he doing this on purpose? Ranpo hid his surprise with a cough. “Some, yeah. Just pick me up!”
Tecchou shrugged, then effortlessly lifted Ranpo up. Then, he began walking to the entrance to the boat. “So, we are trying to find an ability-using smuggler.”
“That’s right!”
“And, we are blending in to catch him by surprise.”
“You really like to state the obvious.”
“... But why are we doing it?” Tecchou asked.
Ranpo honestly didn’t have an answer. Working with the government typically meant the case was high-profile, but this sounded like a criminal not special enough to write home about. He shrugged.
“Why would I know? Aren’t you just supposed to be a dog that listens to every command?”
Tecchou made a sound. That seemed to strike something, but Tecchou didn’t fire back instantly. Instead, when they got closer to the boat, he gave a simple reply.
“After what happened with the agency, I want to think more on my own. I need to be sure I'm helping society.”
“Well, would have been nice if you had any of those brain cells when you were trying to hunt us down and kill us.”
“I’ve already apologized, can’t we move on?”
Ranpo shrugged, “I have to see for myself that you are changing.”
“Why does my change matter so much to you?” Tecchou questioned.
Ranpo had an answer to that, but he didn’t want to say it aloud. Instead, he laid his chin on Tecchou’s shoulder. “We are almost there, you have the tickets right?”
Tecchou frowned but nodded. When they made it to the gate, he presented two tickets to the crew member.
“Thank you for joining us, Mr. and Mrs. Suehiro.”
Ranpo decided to ignore the woman taking their tickets, though he couldn’t ignore the strange feeling that left him with.
“Thank you,” Tecchou replied as he headed inside.
The main room was a moderate size, with fancy decor and waiters walking around offering complimentary drinks. He had no clue where a smuggler would be on this ship, but that’s why Ranpo was here. Speaking of, Tecchou put Ranpo down next to a table.
“Hey, I didn’t tell you to put me down,” Ranpo whined.
“I don’t want to drop the snacks I get,” Tecchou replied simply.
“You’re getting me snacks?”
“Yes, why wouldn’t I? You like them, and it will make us look less suspicious.”
Did he get all of that from the agency party? While yes, Ranpo gravitated towards snacks and desserts, he didn’t spend all that much time with Tecchou. Was he watching him? Leaving Ranpo to his thoughts, Tecchou walked to the buffet table.
Something was off. The entire atmosphere just felt… strange. Ranpo felt for his glasses in his pocket, only to feel soft fabric and a cell phone.
Ranpo’s mind went back to the cab, and Yosano hugging him. Tecchou made his way back to the table.
“Are you kidding…”
“... I didn’t say a joke?” Tecchou replied, confused.
Ranpo looked up at Tecchou, he couldn’t just tell him that his friend set them up on a date of all things.
“... Anyways, my snacks!”
Tecchou nodded and set the red bean paste dango down. Eagerly, Ranpo began eating it. For himself, Tecchou got a glass of water. Jouno always said his eating habits were horrifying and being around a drunken Tecchou was a worse fate than death. Since he didn’t want to inflict either pain on Ranpo, he was content with sipping on water.
“Do you have any ideas on where the culprit is yet?” Tecchou asked as Ranpo was… almost done with the entire sweet.
“Mm… it’s easy,” Ranpo replied vaguely.
“It is…?”
“This was a trap.”
When Tecchou heard that, he immediately drew his sword hidden in his coat. The innocent and clueless party guests around them all gasped and stared at Tecchou.
“... A trap set by my friend and another Hunting Dog.”
Tecchou stared at Ranpo and blinked a few times.
They were asked to leave the premise before the boat took off.
After the boat had left the port, Tecchou continued to wear a gloomy expression while staring at the fleeting boat. Well, Ranpo supposed it was gloomy. It was hard to tell what Tecchou was thinking or feeling.
“Well, I can call Yosano, but she won’t be happy that it was a bust.”
“...”
“You know, I don’t like parties anyway. There are too many people I don’t know.”
Tecchou turned his head to look at Ranpo. Was this his attempt at cheering someone up?
“Agency parties are different, but that one was just a bunch of dense snobs pretending to have a life.”
“... If that was a real mission, I would have failed,” Tecchou explained.
“That’s why they wouldn’t send you on those types of missions.”
“Then why did they send me on this one?”
Again, Tecchou asked a question Ranpo didn’t want to answer. Instead, Ranpo shivered as the night air touched his bare skin. Before he could form a distracting response, a coat was placed around him. Tecchou’s coat.
“... this is warm.”
“You looked a bit cold. This wasn’t your fault, so I shouldn’t demand so much of you.”
“... thanks,” Ranpo replied, sincerely.
Tecchou nodded. “If you want, I can bring you to your house, or us to my room.”
Ranpo weighed his options. If he wanted to get closer to Tecchou, he couldn’t leave him now…
“I don’t know my home address.”
“... that is a very important thing to not know.”
“I didn’t ask for judgment!”
“You’re right.” Tecchou scooped Ranpo up without warning. Quickly wrapping his arms around Tecchou’s neck to steady himself, he huffed.
“I didn’t mean to offend you, I was just surprised that you wouldn’t know where you live.”
“You still did anyways,” Ranpo argued childishly. Tecchou, being the mature one, decided to drop the argument in favor of walking towards his room at one of the military bases. All of the Hunting Dogs shared living quarters so that they could be prepared for missions whenever a call was made.
“I think we may have some ice cream back at the base,” Tecchou stated bluntly.
“I want some!” Ranpo, predictably, changed his tune upon hearing that. Tecchou nodded, and after a few minutes finally made it to the base. Ranpo had shown that personal space was not something he was aware of and was laying into Tecchou comfortably. Not that he minded.
Opening the door, Tecchou walked inside while holding Ranpo.
“Do you think they’ve kissed by now?”
“Hmm… I don’t know if Tecchou is the type for public kissing.”
Two familiar voices could be heard from the kitchen. Tecchou walked on in without any hesitation.
There was an open bottle of sake and two cups. One cup was held by the Agency’s doctor, Yosano Akiko. The other was held by the Hunting Dogs’ vice-commander, Teruko Okura.
Tecchou blinked and stared. Yosano looked from Tecchou to Ranpo. She noticed Ranpo wearing Tecchou’s coat and smiled, but then noticed Ranpo’s shoes.
“Those are not the heels I bought you.”
“Those heels are at the bottom of the ocean, where they belong,” Ranpo replied smugly.
“So, you wasted my money?”
“You lied about a fake case!” Ranpo accused.
“I thought you of all people would understand why.”
“... I was getting to it. Eventually.” In hindsight, this was a clever plan. Ranpo got so caught up on the idea of faking being in a relationship with Tecchou that he didn’t notice all the holes in the case.
“Mhm…” Yosano gave him a doubtful look.
Tecchou glanced over at Teruko in confusion.
“It was a date,” Teruko grumbled.
“Oh,” was Tecchou’s reply. “I got us kicked off the boat, I apologize.”
“Of course you did,” Teruko rolled her eyes.
“That’s not important, let’s get the ice cream and go to your room!” Ranpo interrupted suddenly. Yosano smiled slightly, while Teruko looked shocked. Tecchou shrugged, got the vanilla ice cream and a spoon, then took the smaller man back to his room.
Setting Ranpo on the bed, Tecchou began to take off his pointy shoes. Ranpo already began digging into the ice cream. Setting the shoes aside, Tecchou looked up at Ranpo.
“So… It was a planned date?” He asked.
“That’s what they said,” Ranpo replied between mouthfuls of ice cream.
“Was it a real date?”
Ranpo coughed, the ice cream nearly choking him. Tecchou took the ice cream and held it away, “You need to slow down, or you’ll choke.”
“I don’t… wanna,” Ranpo replied.
“No one else is taking your ice cream.”
“You could.”
“I would have to find mayonnaise to put on it before I did that.”
Ranpo opened his eyes, staring at Tecchou in almost horror. “No.”
Tecchou shrugged, “So was it a real date?”
“Well… did you want it to be a real date?” Ranpo asked, to save himself from being the one to confess.
“I did.”
Ranpo could feel his face grow red and moved to take the ice cream back as a distraction. Tecchou held it out of reach. He was waiting for an answer and would get one.
“Then, it was a date, whatever, fine. Gimme back my ice cream,” Ranpo whined.
“Good,” Tecchou smiled as he handed back the ice cream. Ranpo stared at the smile, Tecchou does look beautiful.
Ranpo abruptly turned to look down at his ice cream, and before he could regret it, quickly looked back up at Tecchou and attempted to kiss him. Of course, Ranpo missed, but Tecchou adjusted to the kiss nonetheless. It was over as quickly as it started, and Ranpo’s face had definitely gone red. If he was paying attention, he would have noticed Tecchou’s face grow a few shades of pink as well.
“I… forgot my purse!” Ranpo suddenly spoke up.
“Oh?”
“It has my DS! I need it!”
Tecchou nodded, this must be serious, “let’s go find it.”
Thus, the remainder of their date was spent searching the pier for the purse. They found it stored away safely in the ticket booth they went through earlier. All of Ranpo’s Pokemon were safe and sound, and Tecchou got an excuse to spend the whole night with Ranpo.