Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She opened the front door and stepped through. She called out her fiancés name and told him she was home, no answer. She assumed that he wasn’t home yet.

(Y/N) stepped in and put her bag down, it had been a long day of work and she had to work some more at home, she really didn’t want to. She was a doctor and a good one at that. She was kind of famous within the community and had recently been interviewed for her new formula which was what her work buddies called “spray on skin” or “skin on can”. It was kind of an inside joke at the office.

She took a few books out of her bag and put them down on the table in the kitchen, she proceeded to grab a banana out of the fruit bowl and sit down. She took her computer and started studying on how to improve her formula. After about an hour she heard the door opening and was greeted with the face of her fiancé. “Hey honey I’m home” he said with a soft voice to not disturb her. “Hey Karl, could you cook today? I really need to work” she said without looking up. He smiled at her “of course”. She smiled back.

A while after he had gotten home he had started preparing the food and when he was done (Y/N) moved her books and work stuff away from the table and set out plates for them. Karl put the food on the table and they sat down to eat. “How was work today?” She asked. He sighed “a lot of paperwork but it’s necessary after all the bad guys I’ve caught” he said with a laugh, she laughed too. Just as he opened his mouth to say something (Y/N)’s phone called and both her and her fiancé glanced towards it. She started making her way towards the phone but Karl slammed his fist in the table “Sit down.” He said with a firm voice. She sat down again and he started making his way towards the phone instead.

Karl picked (Y/N)’s phone, it read “Derry”.
“This is Karl, (Y/N)’s fiancé. Who is this?”
There was no answer at first. “Can I speak to (Y/N)?” A deep voice was finally heard from the other line. “Who is it?” Asked (Y/N) quietly.
Karl didn’t answer and asked ones more who he was speaking to.

“Tell her it’s Mike”

Karl spoke up “do you know any mike?” (Y/N) shook her head at first but then she suddenly got a strong feeling that she did in fact know this Mike “what’s his last name?” She asked just as Karl was about to hang up. Karl asked Mike and after a short while Karl got and answer and responded to her “Mike Hanlon”.
(Y/N) dropped the fork she was holding in her hand and stared out into thin air, she suddenly remembered but she wasn’t sure what she was remembering. It was familiar but still so strange, she rushed up and tried to take the phone from Karl “Karl please I have to talk to him he wouldn’t call unless it was important please Karl you have to let me speak to him” she begged but he didn’t let her “Never ever call this number again Mike! I don’t want to see your number anywhere near me or my fiancé again, is that understood? I am a police officer and I’m not afraid to arrest you. Goodbye!” Karl hung up and (Y/N) screamed at him but when he looked at her she immediately shut up. She knew those eyes, they didn’t mean well. He walked past her slowly and and sat down at the table, he started eating again. She started to reach for her phone “don’t touch the phone. Come back and eat your food.” She heard him say in a calm but firm voice. She felt paralyzed at first but her body started to move towards the table eventually.

They ate in silence and Karl stood up when he was done. He took his own and her plate away from the table “hey I wasn’t done” she called out. She received no answer, she let it go.

Later that evening Karl was upstairs watching TV while (Y/N) was working. Well, working wasn’t exactly what she was doing but it sure looked like she was. What she was actually doing was trying to remember, remember everything about mike and- and who? She couldn’t come up with any names but she saw faces, familiar faces and voices that called out for her. She could vaguely remember a feeling, not a feeling of fear but of nervousness but the good kind, the kind that makes your heart flutter and your stomach full of butterflies. She just didn’t know what made her feel that way. Suddenly she felt her hand move on its own, she looked down and she was writing something “L”. ‘L?’ She thought to herself. She was lost in thought again and didn’t notice that her hand kept writing on its own, that was until it stopped and she looked down again “LOSERS GOTTA STICK TOGETHER” she fell backwards with her chair as she gasped for air. The panic bubbled up her throat and suddenly she could remember them, all of them, Richie, Eddie, Beverly, Ben, Bill, Stan And Mike. “holy shit.” She whispered to herself.
“Losers gotta stick together? What the fuck are you doing?” A low voice said, it sounded muffled to her but she snapped out of her own thoughts and looked up, it was Karl “I- um-“ she began but he cut her off. “It’s that fucking Mike isn’t it? Who the fuck is he? Some ex?” He sounded very angry. (Y/N) took a deep breath and began “no he’s an old friend. I have to talk to him, I have to find out what he wanted. We haven’t talked in 27 years” she was sweating so much she thought she might actually become a big puddle on the floor. “No.” Karl said firmly and stood up. He walked into the bedroom and called after her “You’re obviously very tired, I’m going to bed now and I suggest you do the same” but she knew he wasn’t just suggesting, he was saying ‘you’re gonna go to bed whether you like it or not’ without actually saying it.

She knew he wasn’t an ideal man or a very nice one at times but sometimes he would be absolutely wonderful and he had never hit her, ever. She knew she had to do some things behind his back so he didn’t get upset but she was okay with that even if he sometimes scared her. She didn’t really have any friends besides him since he wouldn’t let her see any but she was okay with it. She didn’t think she deserved nor could find anything better anyways.

She had gathered all of her work things and put them down in her bag again. She was just about to go into the bedroom when she heard snoring. Karl was asleep and she had an idea, she could call mike and ask what he had wanted and then she never had to speak about it again, she just needed to know what he wanted. It had been 27 years after all.

She snuck out to the kitchen where her phone was, careful to not make any loud noises. She reached her phone and picked it up, she unlocked it and looked for her latest call.

There it was. A call from Derry, the hometown, her hometown that she had forgotten. She pressed dial and after a few seconds the other side of the line picked up. “Hello, this is Mike Hanlon” his voice was deep and grown up, it felt like she could almost see his face. “Mike, hi, it’s (Y/N). My fiancé is asleep and I just needed to know what you called for.” She whispered into the phone. She could hear a vague sigh of relief from the other side “oh, (Y/N) I’m so happy you called back, I need you to come back, back to Derry.” She was silent for a short while “Mike.. I- I can’t do that. My fiancé needs me and I need to work and-“ she started to ramble all the reasons she couldn’t go but he cut her off “(Y/N) please. You know I wouldn’t ask you to do this if it wasn’t extremely important.” He’s voice had gone from relieved to desperate “shit Mike I don’t know. Maybe but if I do, where and when?” She started planning what she would bring and how she would get there and how she would manage to convince her fiancé to let her go. She could basically hear mike pump his fist in the air and she let out a chuckle “I said maybe”. He chuckled a bit and said “the Chinese restaurant in Derry tomorrow night, ask for me, I’ve booked a table, everyone will be there”. (Y/N) smiled at the thought of seeing everyone “okay, I’ll-“ she was cut off by a hand gripping her shoulder and spinning her around to face the owner of that hand. It was Karl “what the fuck did I say about talking to that fucking Mike? Huh?” His voice was harsh and loud, she winced. “I’m sorry I-“ but he cut her off again “what did I say?” He repeated “to not call him.. But I needed to find out what he wanted!” She blurted out as he yanked her towards the bedroom, she had put down her phone in the kitchen but she remembered that she never hung up, Mike must’ve heard what happened, she hoped he understood.

Karl threw her on the bed “you fucking stay there now. Go. To. Sleep. Okay?” He looked so threatening when he stood over her pinning her down to the bed but for some reason she felt brave, braver than ever around him, but she swallowed that braveness and instead just nodded.

(Y/N) woke up and jumped up like she had just had a nightmare when the alarm went off. She quickly shut it off as Karl didn’t like waking up from her alarm since he could sleep in and she couldn’t. She made her way into the kitchen hazily and made her breakfast in peace. She sat down with her breakfast at the table to look over some of her notes from last night, she was just about to take a bite out of her sandwich as she read “LOSERS GOTTA STICK TOGETHER”. She felt all her limbs go numb and suddenly she remembered what had happened yesterday, she remembered Mike and what he wanted. She started to panic and ate the rest of her food as quick as she could. She stood up and started to pack her bag, she needed to go to Derry and for some reason she had this weird feeling that someone would get hurt. This feeling made her pack a whole bag full of just medical supplies. When she was finished packing all that she started making her way into the bedroom where all her clothes were but there was a figure stopping her “where do you think you’re going with all that?” Karl asked her. “You’re up earlier than usual..” she said softly trying not to sound suspicious “I just need all of these things for work” she then blurted out. Karl looked at her skeptically but then nodded and started making his own breakfast. She took a big shaky breath and kept going.

She threw a few shirts and trousers into a duffle bag and then walked into the bathroom to bring some toiletries. She knew mike had only said one night but she got a feeling this might last longer than just one night.

She put on an outfit and called an Uber. She hid the duffle bag in the hall and went into the kitchen, she kissed her fiancé and smiled at him “I’m heading to work now, I’m taking an Uber” he looked at her and smiled and nodded. She received a text from her Uber telling her that he had arrived so she put on her jogging shoes and grabbed the bag, she turned around just as she was about to walk through the door and called out “Hey Karl?” He looked up from the newspaper “You know I wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t extremely important” he started to look concerned but said nothing. “I have to meet my friends, I just have to and I don’t know when I’ll be back but you deserve to at least know that I’m going cause I am going.” With that she heard Karl yell something but by the time he had even opened his mouth she was already outside the door on her way to the Uber.

Chapter Text

“FUCK” Richie flew off the bed as his alarm went off, his body filled with panic. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck” he ran towards his closet when it suddenly hit him; why was he even stressed? He had nowhere to be this morning. “Oh fucking hell” he said to himself as he walked over to his bed to shut the alarm off.

He remembered that he had forgot to shut it off last night just as a raging headache hit him. His head started pulsating now that he wasn’t panicking about being somewhere else. He groaned and also remembered the alcohol from yesterday. He had been drinking yes, but to his defense he pretty much always did. Okay that wasn’t a very good defense but c’mon he wasn’t hurting anybody but himself, right?

He made his way into the kitchen, slowly as he started wishing he was back in his bed. He reached for an aspirin and drank some water. He made coffee and a sandwich and sat his breakfast down by the table, he walked towards the door in his apartment and grabbed the daily newspaper from the floor. He sat down at the table and skimmed through the newspaper.

After a little while he stopped “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), the genius behind the new, possibly life saving formula” Richie just stared at it for a moment, sure he was impressed and intrigued of what could save lives but that wasn’t why he had stopped, he recognized that name. He really, really did, but there was no face, no memories, no voice, nothing, except a feeling. A good feeling, he doesn’t remember feeling it but at the same time, it feels like the feelings belongs with him, or at least used to.

He spent a few good minutes just staring at her name until he noticed a picture too “Holy shit” he said softly. He noticed a few features that reminded him of something, but what? It felt like he was gonna explode but he just could not remember. He needed a voice to match the information he had. He practically threw the paper away as he jumped up and raced to his room for his computer. “(Y/N)” he repeated in his head as if it would make him remember, it didn’t.

He reached his computer and got it open, he quickly typed in her name on google. He found a whole bunch of stuff but after almost an hour of searching, still no voice. He was so confused as to why she meant so much to him. He didn’t know this woman, right?

Eventually he gave up and just flopped down on his bed. His head was spinning. He laid there for what seemed like forever but what actually was just about thirty minutes. He groaned ones again and sat up, he stood up and walked towards his office. He grabbed his script and thought to himself that he might as well practice some more since he didn’t really have anything better to do anyways.

-

Someone called out his name. At first it was soft but it grew harsher and harsher and soon he felt like he was being shaken. He awoke and jumped back by the sight of his wife “what the hell Myra?” Eddie groaned. Myra stared at him for a second “I was waking you up, you’ve slept through all your alarms Edward.” Eddie flew out of bed and pushed his wife out of the way to get to his phone. “FUCK IM LIKE AN HOUR LATE” he started to panic as he ran around the house trying to gather all the things he needed for work “that’s why I was waking you up dear” Myra said calmly “okay why didn’t you waking me up A FUCKING HOUR AGO???” He said as he threw on a suit and grabbed his car keys “there’s no need for such harsh language Edward” Myra called after him but by then he was already out the door.

Eddie was driving through traffic, breathing like he’d been running a marathon and sweating even more, it felt like he was suffocating. He was cursing other drivers who would dare come in his way while he knew they didn’t actually do anything wrong. He jumped a little at the sound of his phone calling, he saw the name and rolled his eyes as he answered. “Are you sure it’s safe for you to drive right now? The roads could be slippery” Myra’s voice didn’t sound worried as much as demanding “It’s not raining now and it wasn’t raining a few hours ago right? And anyways, statistically speaking it’s a higher risk of me crashing when I’m talking to you on the phone! Goodbye!” He will admit that it came out a bit harsh at the end but he just didn’t have time to worry about that right now when suddenly the phone called ones again, it was Myra, again. “You didn’t say I love you like you always do” her voice was stern and he knew deep inside she wouldn’t give up unless he said it but he just didn’t have time “Myra please I don’t have ti-“ he got cut of by another person calling.

“Derry”

He stared at it “say it” he heard Myra say into the phone “okay I love you mommy” he said without thinking “what?” Myra got out after a second of silence “MYRA! Myra. I-I meant Myra, bye now” he said as he clicked accept for the other unknown number. “Hello?” He said unsure of what he was so worried about “who is this?” He continued.

A few beats of silence. “Mike. It’s Mike” he heard a low voice. ‘Mike?’ He thought “Mike who?” He asked “Mike Hanlon” Mike said. Eddie felt like all the stress he had felt had run off him like water off a duck's back as a flood of memories he couldn’t identify came running towards him, he just couldn’t muster to look up from the town's name on the screen in his car when suddenly he was yanked to the side roughly. His mind went a thousand miles per hour, he realized he had been hit “are you okay?” He heard Mike “yeah I’m good!” He managed to get out as people started to surround the two cars to check for injuries.

-

Richie had called for an Uber to go to his show, he knew his lines in and out now but his mind was still on that damn (Y/N). Where did he know her from? Television? No. Work? Definitely not. He could not for the life of him remember where he had seen that name before.

He arrived at the venue and stepped out of the car. He slowly made his way into the building and began to prepare himself for any anxiety or stress he would eventually have to face before the show. He passed his agent who nodded at him as a sign of saying he now knew that Richie was there. Richie sat down and repeated the lines in his head when suddenly he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. He took it out and stared at the screen.

“Derry”

He let out a shaky breath and answered “hello? This is Richie Tozier” his voice was low and careful, he didn’t really know why. “Richie, this is Mike. Mike Hanlon” Richie sat dumbfounded for a few long seconds before he answered “Mike” he said “Mike” he repeated as the name worked its way into his head. “I need you to come back to Derry, it’s important” Mike said eventually, realizing that Richie probably wouldn’t ask. “Yeah, yeah, absolutely” Richie said, lost in thought. “HOLY SHIT” he jumped up “(Y/N)!” That’s where I know her from!!!” He practically yelled. “Yes, (Y/N) has already agreed to coming… I think..” Mike replied with an unsure voice.

Richie and Mike spend a little while talking about the losers and who he had been able to call so far and that everyone seemed like they were coming but for some reason Richie just couldn’t remember he really really wanted to see Eddie and (Y/N). ”Tozier, you’re up!” Richie heard his agent say and suddenly he felt an overwhelming sense of nausea welling over him “Goodbye Mike, I gotta go” he quickly pressed end call and ran outside to the balcony of the building. He threw up as he heard his agent come running “Jesus Rich you were fine just a moment ago!” Richie just dried his mouth of with his sleeve and paced quickly inside again, he asked for a bourbon and got one way quicker than should be humanly possible. He felt like he might throw up again but quickly swallowed that feeling. His mind could only concentrate on the losers, right they called themselves the losers, he chuckled at the thought of it for a quick second before he realized he was needed on stage. He stepped out and waited for the applause to stop before he began, sadly after only a minute he had forgotten what he was supposed to say next. His mind was so occupied on Derry that everything he was supposed to think about was blown away.

After a few beats of silence he finally managed to start remembering what he was supposed to say. He apologized to the audience and told them an old friend had called a few minutes prior but ones he had done that, the rest of the show went smoothly. He could practically feel his agent sighing in relief when he got back in track, and Richie did too.

-

Eddie had just been in an accident but that didn’t stop him from practically raising home to pack his bags for Derry, he didn’t know why but he wasn’t scared. For ones in his life, he, Eddie Kaspbrak, was not scared. He reached his apartment and threw the door open, he heard his wife gasp but she didn’t even have time to stand up to see who it was before Eddie was running up the stairs. “I’m going on a trip!” Eddie yelled to Myra “Where are you going?” She said back, her voice sounding only slightly panicked. ”To my hometown!” He said as he passed her in the stairs, she followed him and blocked him from going up again “Edward Tell me what’s going on right now!” It sounded like she was on the verge of tears. Eddie looked at her for a second “An old friend called and told me i had to come back to my old hometown, Derry, which I had forgotten all about and that’s why I crashed and-“ he talked faster than he had ever done but Myra still managed to cut him off “YOU CRASHED???” She screamed, it made him jump back “yes..” he said quickly and they both stood there quiet. Eddie used this moment to push Myra aside so he could get up the stairs again and to his surprise she didn’t follow, she just stood there in shock.

Eddie had packed everything he needed in two big suitcases and he headed down the stairs to grab his computer to book a night in the hotel. He walked down the stairs and Myra stood in the kitchen “Eddie I can’t let you do this. It’s too dangerous” he looked at her, puzzled “dangerous? How is it dangerous? I’m just gonna meet up with my old friends” she sighed “and who are these friends? Huh?” She sputtered out and his eyebrows knitted together as he grew even more confused “Well, there’s Mike, Ben, Richie, Bill, Bev, Stan and (Y/N)” as he said their names a few more memories couldn’t help but seep in to his mind along with them “Oh great! Two women! Do you think I don’t understand that you’ll leave me for them?! Don’t do this Edward, please.” Eddie grabbed his computer of the kitchen counter and started to back into the hall, he needed to get out, now. “Myra you’re being crazy. I’m not gonna leave you, Jesus Christ you’re being so paranoid. You’re my wife okay? There’s not a chance I’m leaving you for one of my old friends! I haven’t seen them in 27 fucking years! I see you every day!” He reaches the hall and threw on a jacket, he fiddled for his keys “Edward please! Please don’t go, Eddie I’m begging you please!!” Myra’s voice was filled with desperation and fear but he just couldn’t help but feel like she was just so annoying. Maybe she was right? Maybe he’d want to leave her. God no, divorce is too messy “Myra please I’m not gonna leave you, well I am but just for like a few days I promise! I will be right back” he opened the front door and took his suitcases and walked down to his car “Edward!! Please don’t!!” She was begging him to stay but he had to get to Derry, he just had to.

-

Richie got into the car. He sighed and felt the anxiety rolling of him. His show had been a little worse than usual, he had forgotten a few lines which had made the show end about five minutes earlier that I should’ve but he’d figured that no one would actually notice that. However, his agent was pissed at him for forgetting the lines and he had been yelling at Richie all the way out to the Uber he had requested. Now when Richie finally sat in the Uber he couldn’t help but relax, he was going home and then home. He was going to his apartment and then to his old home. He felt nervous but he couldn’t help this feeling of excitement that laid deep within him.

The Uber reached his apartment and he stepped out of the car. He walked into the apartment and grabbed a duffle bag to pack all of his things in. He packed a few shirts and pants and threw in some toiletries. He booked a night in the Derry hotel and booked flight tickets, ones he was done with that he remembered the paper from this morning. He rushed to the dinner table and looked for it, he found it on the floor. He raced through the pages as he got to the page with (Y/N). He looked at the picture of her and got a warm feeling in his body. He wasn’t sure why just yet but it felt right, it felt familiar.

His flight went in a few hours but he didn’t really have anything else to do but wait so he called for an Uber ones again to take him to the airport.

He had been at the airport for a while when he got to board the bus plane. The only thing he could really think of was Eddie and (Y/N) and he wasn’t sure why, but he couldn’t wait to see how they had turned out.

Chapter Text

(Y/N) stepped into the hotel she was staying at. It was the only one in Derry but she had arrived about an hour earlier than she was supposed to do she figured it was best to leave her bags in her room in the meantime. The train ride had been long but not too bad, it wasn’t exactly first class but she didn’t mind. She had fallen asleep anyways. While she had been asleep all these weird dreams had come to her, but the problem was that they weren’t dreams, they were memories. However, this, hadn’t she noticed until she woke up.

It was this one memory she had remembered the strongest and it was when she and Eddie had just gotten out of school and they were waiting for Richie, Bill and Stan to come out too when Henry bowers and his gang had surrounded them. They had said such mean things and pushed them around like both (Y/N) and Eddie had been balls in a game. After a little while they had all just frozen and (Y/N) had taken this as her chance to kick Henry bowers so hard in the balls that it was like the whole group had felt it. (Y/N) had grabbed Eddie’s hand, pushed Bowers aside and started running like never before, soon the other three boys in the gang had joined them cause Richie was the reason they all had froze. He had thrown a rock at them he said and eventually they had to stop cause they were laughing so hard, Eddie had taken so many puffs from his asthma medication that day you’d believe he would overdose on it.

There had been another memory she could only vaguely recall and it had been something about them all splitting up. Eddie had broken his arm somehow and his mom wouldn’t let him see the others. Was that what had split them up? No. It was something else. Something that made (Y/N) shake to her bones, something that made her feel afraid. But what was it? Just as she was thinking about it she passed a familiar face.

She turned around “Hey haven’t I seen you on Netflix?” But at the same time she said that the man had said “Hey I saw you in the newspaper yesterday!” But as fast as they saw each others faces something deep inside started to stir and they both opened their mouths and just stared at each other for a while

Richie’s mind started to fill up with memories he couldn’t remember he had, he stared at her and she stared back

(Y/N) couldn’t think about anything, her head was empty and she just couldn’t do anything but stare, it was like her body had short circuited and shut itself off by the sight of Richie here in Derry

“Holy shit” They both whispered at each other

A few more seconds passed of them both just looking the other one up and down before they practice jumped on each other. They hugged, hard. They stayed like that for a few moments before each respective heart was beating so hard in their chests they had to take a step back

“A comedian huh?” (Y/N) said softly and smirked, damn that smirk. “Yeah” Richies breathed out “and you became some super doctor who gets to be in newspapers and shit.” He let out with a little more confidence. She nodded.

“So how’s life as a famous Trashmouth on Netflix?” She said as her hand touched his arm “you’re so freaking tall man” she added and let out a slight chuckle. Richie felt his cheeks grow warm “Yeah I know, and it feels nice to work with what I’m already great at you know”

“I see, well I’ve seen your shows. I can’t believe I didn’t remember. It’s even weirder since I remembered Mike”

“Well, I saw you in the newspaper yesterday and I couldn’t remember, so maybe it has to do with Derry itself, cause i remembered when mike said I had to come back to Derry” and as he said this, she had looked puzzled for a second “that’s true” she said quietly

“But hey!” He said a little louder “what the hell do you do? I saw in the newspaper that you save lives at least” she chuckled and looked at him with soulful eyes “Yeah, yeah I’m a doctor which is a surprise to no one I think” he looked at her with kind eyes and she smiled at him “I really missed you Richie. I mean I didn’t remember that I did but now, now that I remember that you exist, that you were once my friend I missed you, oh god, so much”

They stood in silence for a little but it felt like forever “Yeah I feel exactly the same (Y/N)”

They talked some more about their respective jobs and (Y/N)’s formula came up and she tried to explain it as good as she could while still keeping it easy enough for Richie, who was not a doctor, to understand. After a while Richie checken the time ”oh fuck we’re late” (Y/N) gasped “shit I don’t even have a car” she let out a stressed noise and Richie sighed “I have a rental car, I’ll drive you too of course” as he said it he laid a hand on her shoulder, she smiled at him and hugged him “thank you! I’ll just go to my room and leave my bags!” Richie realized he had to do that too.

(Y/N)’s heart was beating out of her chest when she stepped up the stairs. She didn’t know why but when Richie has put his hand on her shoulder it was like her whole body might’ve turned to jelly. He had been so nice to her and it had been so unfamiliar to what she was used to with Karl. Cause even if Karl was nice she had never been able to joke around with him like she had just done with Richie. She had called him Trashmouth and they had both laughed about it. That hadn’t happened in such a long time it almost felt like it hadn’t happened. With all the memories coming back all she could think about right now was Richie.

-

Eddie stepped out of his car and walked towards the restaurant. He had gotten several calls from Myra, always asking him to come back and always telling him that this was a bad idea. In some of them she had cried and some not and some he couldn’t be bothered to even answer. He had been getting more and more tired of Myra lately but it felt like this was his breaking point and all the memories coming back, the memories of better times, of better friends and just finding out that he once deserved better and maybe that he still did.

He stepped into the restaurant and felt his phone buzz, he picked it up and read his wife’s name for what felt like the millionth time. He shut his phone off and put it back into his pocket.

He was greeted by a waitress who asked him if he was waiting for someone or if he was here alone, he told her that he was looking for Mike Hanlon. She led him towards the back of the restaurant, he started listing all the things he was allergic to and she seemed to take notes in her head.

“I'm allergic to soy, anything that has eggs in it, gluten and if I eat a peanut I could realistically die-“ there was a few beats of silence as he stared at the two grown men in front of him “Holy shit” he breathed out.

-

Richie walked down the stairs and (Y/N) wasn’t far behind. They walked to Richie’s car in silence and got into it. He put on the radio and it was a comfortable ride to the restaurant. They stepped out and stood still for just a second.

(Y/N) suddenly started to panic and told Richie to go ahead of her cause she just needed a second. He started to walk towards the restaurant and she leaned against the car. Why was she so nervous? She got Karl’s voice in her head telling her that she needed to go back and that this was a bad idea.

No. She needed to do this. Whether Karl liked it or not cause honestly fuck him. She started to walk towards the door and saw three figures greeting each other and hugging.

“Richie! There you are- holy shit Ben?” She stared for a while “dude holy fuck and Bev!! Oh my god you’re all so grown up” (Y/N) said as her heart was beating hard “and hot” Richie added and she laughed and nodded.

All four of them went in and was led towards the table by the same waitress that had greeted Eddie before. Richie hit the gong and got the attention of the three men standing in the corner speaking “This meeting of the Losers club has officially begun” He said loudly and proudly. All three men turned around and one of them quickly said “Wow look at these guys” It was Eddie and Richie was quick to mime to them who Ben was.

They sat down and ordered food and drinks. It was quiet at first but they quickly became talkative when the food along with the drinks arrived. They got into the topic of marriage and both (Y/N) and bev shut up for the moment. They looked at each other and had some kind of mutual understanding that they didn’t quite get at first.

“So Wait Eddie you got married?” Richie couldn’t help but feel disappointed, he didn’t really know why. “Yo, why’s that so fucking funny dickwad?” Eddie shot back at him, feeling insecure about his marriage, without letting the other hear though of course.

“What to like a woman?”

“Fuck you bro” this had made Eddie even more insecure.

“Fuck you” Richie said loudly and laughed. “Well what about you Trashmouth? You married?” Bill asked as Beverly scoffed “There’s no way Richie’s married!” She said confidently.

“No I got married” he said easily. The rest of the losers looked at him in disbelief “Richie I don’t believe it.” Bev and (Y/N) said at the same time. “You didn’t know I got married?” Richie said, this time more pointedly towards Eddie

“No” Eddie said, unsure and for some reason a little disappointed

“Yeah, no” Richie began “Me and your mom are very happy together!” He said with ease. Bill choked on his drink, Bev and Ben each let out a loud laugh, (Y/N) slammed her hand on the table and held her other hand over her mouth as to not laugh so hard, Mike sat in content, happy that they were having a good time and Eddie looked like he was about to burst. “he totally fell for it!!” Richie said between laughter and Eddie looked even angrier “Fuck you” he said with a firm voice but secretly he was actually having a better time than in a long time.

“Yeah she’s very sweet, sometimes she’ll put her arm around me and go ‘Biso bata eto wookie’ “ Richie spoke in Jaba da Hut’s voice.

“We all get it! My moms a big fat person. Hilarious, hysterical!” Eddie announced to everyone while they were out of breath from laughing “C’mon let’s talk about someone else (Y/N) what about you? You married?” Eddie asked as he looked at her. She started sweating but she knew she had to say something “oh me?” She started and let out an uncomfortable laugh “I’d love to answer but I really need to go to the restroom, excuse me” she said and quickly walked away from the table. She walked directly towards the exit and stepped outside. The cold air hit her and she felt like she could breathe again.

The rest of the Losers looked at each other, a bit confused and then at Eddie “what? I was curious!” He said innocently. Richie stood up and excused himself as well. “Okay what’s going on here?” Eddie said after Richie had gone out of sight. Everyone shrugged their shoulders and suddenly Beverly was excusing herself as well. She didn’t know if Richie knew but she had certainly known that look of panic in (Y/N)’s eyes as she was asked about her partner.

When Beverly got outside she saw Richie and (Y/N) sitting on the side on the road. They were talking but she didn’t hear what it was about. She walked towards them and fished up a cigarette pack from her jacket pocket.

“Wanna share? Like the good old times?” Bev said as she reached the two others. They looked up at her “Oh fuck that’s right, we always shared one back in the day didn’t we?” Richie said and chuckled. “Oh god I haven’t had a cigarette in 27 years” (Y/N) let out in a nervous voice

“So is that a no?” Bev asked, slightly disappointed. “Oh hell no” The two sitting down said in unison, they all laughed and Beverly took one cigarette out and a lighter, she lit the cigarette and took a deep breath from it. She took a couple and passed it on. Richie did the same as Bev. He hadn’t had a cigarette in a while but he was still used to the feeling of smoke filling his lungs, (Y/N) however, took a drag and started coughing immediately “oh fuck” she said in between coughs and laughter and Bev and Richie laughed too.

When they had finished the cigarette they all felt relaxed, especially (Y/N) and they walked inside again.

The chattering stopped when they walked in but quickly continued ones they had sat down.

“Okay can we talk about Ben? What the fuck man?” Richie said and everyone grew silent and looked at Ben. “Yeah obviously I lost a few pounds” he said in a deep voice. Scattered agreement could be heard “You’re like every Brazilian football player mashed into one” Richie commented. More agreement and some laughter was heard from the losers as they looked Ben up and down “c’mon stop, you’re embarrassing him” Bev spoke up but no one really stopped anyways.

“Alright is Stan coming or what?”

The group went silent. (Y/N) spoke first “Stan..” she said in a soft voice and looked at the empty chair between Richie and Eddie. Everyone else started to say his name as if they were reminding themselves who he was “Stanley Urin” Eddie said “Stanley Uris!” Bill and Richie said in unison and pointed and laughed at each other “No of course he’s not gonna show he’s a fucking pussy” Richie said in a joking tone

“Was I not the one who stitched you up? Holy shit that’s right! When bowers cut you up!” Eddie spoke up and (Y/N) smacked him in the head “yeah right as if! You didn’t do shit except hold the wound together for me. If fixed this little shit up” she said and ruffled Ben’s hair. Eddie laughed “yeah yeah you’re right, but I almost stitched him up” he said and he was met with a smack to the head again “yeah about as much as Richie actually had sex with your mother” They all laughed except Eddie who now smacked (Y/N) in the head and Richie who let out a “Hey!”

“Please tell me you two became doctors” Bev said pointedly towards Eddie and (Y/N). (Y/N) nodded and smiled “Yeah I’m a doctor now” and Richie loudly and proudly smiled and said “Hell yeah and she’s famous for it too!” The others looked impressed “i saw her in the newspaper” he continued and she shook her head slightly “it’s not a big deal really. I’m more than happy to continue being a doctor in silence” she smiled and Beverly groaned “oh my god stop being so humble and give yourself some credit, that’s amazing!”

“Thank you” (Y/N) said and smiled as she felt a blush creeping up her cheeks

“What about you Eddie? You a doctor too? Please say yes” Beverly continued. Eddie shook his head “No actually I became a risk analytic” and too everyone’s surprise Richie spoke up “oh that sounds really interesting what does that entail?” As Eddie started to explain soft snoring was now heard from the same person who had seemed so interested just a second prior. Eddie stopped and looked at Richie and if looks could kill, let’s just say Richie would be dead, and even if Eddie didn’t find it funny, everyone else did.

“Fuck you dude”

“Was this job invented before fun or what?

“Oh that’s so not funny”

“It is funny!”

Everyone laughed, including Ben this time who usually just let out a slight chuckle, this however seemed to upset Eddie “What the fuck are you laughing at?” But before he could get any more upset Bev proposed a toast “I propose a toast to the Losers” they all brought their glasses together and toasted.

The dinner went on and they were talking and laughing and they started forming into small little groups of people talking. Bev and Bill, Richie and Eddie and (Y/N) and Ben and Mike were just kind of looking at the others talk. After what felt like hours Ben spoke up and the whole group silenced.

“Isn’t it weird? Now that we’re all here everything just comes back faster and faster” He said, looking mostly at Beverly, like he always had. They all agreed.

“You know when Mike called me I threw up. Like I got nervous and got sick. I mean I feel line now, I feel very relieved to be here with you guys” Richie spoke up

“Yeah I mean I fell straight out of my chair” (Y/N) said and chuckled to try and lighten the mood once again.

“When Mike called I crashed my car” Eddie said and (Y/N) got a lump in her throat and for some unknown reason she reached for his hand and took it. He seemed surprised at first but welcomed it.

“I feel you, I mean my heart was literally beating out of my chest” Ben spoke up once again.

“I thought it was just me” Bev then said quietly.

“It was pure f- f- f-“ Bill began, he hadn’t stuttered this whole evening “Fear. You felt fear” Mike interrupted him. “Why do we all f- feel like that?” Bill asked but Mike stayed quiet “You remember something we don’t, don’t you?” Bill continued but Mike didn’t say anything yet.

“Something happens to you when you leave this town” he began “the further away you get, the hazer it all becomes, but me, I never left. So yeah. I remember, I remembered all of it”

“Pennywise” Beverly breathed and (Y/N) felt like something got stuck in her throat “oh not that fucking clown” Eddie spoke next and started to pat his jacket up and down for something but he didn’t let go of (Y/N)’s hand, thank god. There was an echoing silence and (Y/N) tunes out. All she could feel was her heart beating and the people around her starting to get more and more nervous, she couldn’t hear anything of what the others were saying except something about an Adrian Mellon and a little girl, she heard something Mike said about an echo, that they might’ve changed it but they didn’t stop it, she continued to stare into nothingness until Eddie finally let go of her hand and took a fortune cookie.
“We made an oath and that’s why I brought you back. To finish it” she heard Mike say “well that shit got dark fast” she heard Richie follow.

Eddie announced that his fortune cookie just said “Could” and Richies only said “Guess” And (Y/N) crashed her own open and told the others that same went for hers, it just said “Just”

Bill asked for them to hand him their pieces of paper and they did, they changed the order a few times and tried to come up with what they could mean. That was until Beverly gave her piece as well and they made out “Guess Stanley Just Could Not Cut it”

“Why does it say Stanley?” Eddie was the first one to speak up “Will someone fucking answer me!?” He continued, harsher this time but no one had time to think before the whole table shook, everyone went silent. The fortune cookies that was left in the bowl started to shake and hop out of it onto the table. Everyone backed up, some letting out noises of surprise or fear.

Several fortune cookies started to crack with various creatures of sort came out of them. Eddie and Ben stood in one corner, Bill and Mike in another, Bev was curled into a little ball in one and Richie and (Y/N) was in one, all pressed up against the walls. One creature aiming at one corner. Richie yelled for Eddie as he held onto (Y/N). Bev and Eddie was crying and Mike picked up a chair and started beating the table

“IT'S NOT REAL. IT'S NOT REAL. IT'S NOT REAL” he continued.

A waitress stepped into the room and looked at them all, uncertain and very uncomfortable. “You guys doing alright?” She said with a kind but slightly scared voice “Yeah! Can we get the check please?” Richie said and smiled.

They all headed outside as the losers tried to convince themselves that Stan was fine, (Y/N) knew he wasn’t. She didn’t know how she knew but she just felt like she did, and her feelings were rarely wrong.

Beverly called Stanley’s number, provided by Mike as Eddie and Richie was pissed at him for luring them back to Derry. “You lied to us, and that’s not okay” Eddie said followed by Richie “Yeah you should’ve just asked us ‘hey you wanna come back to Derry and get murdered?’ Cause then I would’ve said no”

“Yeah man c’mon. You know I would help you with anything but this? It’s a hard pass actually” (Y/N) added and Eddie nodded along.

“He passed-“ they heard from Beverlys phone and everyone grew silent “it was horrible, his wrist- in the bathtub” (Y/N) gasped and Richie looked at his feet, Eddie put a hand on (Y/N)’s shoulder and rubbed small circles with his thumb

“Pennywise knew! How did pennywise know before us!?” Eddie let out a frustrated sigh. “Hey I have an idea!” Richie started “let’s get the fuck out of Derry before this ends worse than one of bills books. Who’s with me?” Eddie and (Y/N) raised their hands, it was in their nature to always stick with all the losers but this time they stuck with the two closest instead

“We made a promise-“ began Mike “So? Let’s unmake that promise?!” Richie continued “but other people are gonna die!” Ben tried “So what? Other people die everyday! We don’t owe this town shit! Plus I just remembered I grew up here like two hours ago so I’m fucking out!” Richie finished and started walking towards his car with Eddie close behind. (Y/N) however stood there for a second, torn. She couldn’t let people just die if she knew she had a chance to save them but then again, if two, or rather three were out, there wasn’t a whole lot she could do.

“Mike. I’m sorry man, what makes you think we can win against it if we couldn’t last time? I’m sorry. I’m gonna have to say no this time” she said and started walking but mike grabbed her shoulder and she got a strong throwback to how Karl had reacted when she was talking to Mike and she felt almost scared “please you have to stay” he said and let her shoulder go “or what? C’mon! We stay? We die. I can’t, I’m sorry” she turned around and walked towards Richies rental car. She got in it and heard Mike pleading for them to stay but she just couldn’t be bothered.

The car ride to the hotel was quiet and uncomfortable as opposed to the car ride there. They arrived and stepped inside “Lets get our stuff and get the fuck out of here.” Richie said and they all headed upstairs to get their bags.

(Y/N) could hear Richie walking down the stairs as She sat on the hotel bed. Her bag was already packed since she had just left it there before her and Richie went to the restaurant. She felt her eyes prickle with tears. She couldn’t go back. Karl would be so mad and she was terrified. She spend a long time just staring at the door, thinking about what she would do when suddenly it opened and Eddie stepped in. She quickly wiped her tears and prayed that he hadn’t seen, unfortunately he had.

“Hey what’s wrong” he said and ran to her side, he kneeled beside her and looked at her with his puppy eyes. “Nothing I just… I just can’t go back home.” She said hopelessly and Eddie sat down beside her on the bed and put an arm around her, she leaned in “I would ask you to stay with me but I honestly don’t really want to go back home either” “Really??” She quickly replied “yeah..” he said and looked down. (Y/N) put a hand under his chin and made him look at her, it was her turn to ask what was wrong. As he was about to answer they both realized how close they were and Eddie glanced at (Y/N) lips, she noticed and unconsciously licked them. The silence remained when suddenly they heard Richies voice call out for them and they jumped back and went downstairs.

“What the fuck do you mean you’ve seen us all die?” Eddie said, panicked. “That’s kind of a fucked up thing to lay on somebody don’t you think?” Richie said, also panicked

“I’ve had these nightmares, full of death” Bev began but Eddie was quick to add in “so what? Everyone has nightmares that doesn’t make them any more real”

“Shut the fuck up Eddie, let her speak” (Y/N) spoke up and Eddie fell silent “Bev, continue” she said as Bill and Mike suddenly burst into the lobby, Bev wasn’t bothered by them and kept staring out into empty space “we all end the same way, the same way as Stanley”

“Why aren’t we all seeing this? What the fuck makes her so special?” Richie said, almost offended by the fact that he hadn’t had nightmares about everyone dying

“The deadlights” Mike spoke “we were all touched by it that day but it got to Stan first-“

“Cause he was the weakest” Richie interrupted

“Jesus Rich” Bill breathed

“What? I was just saying what everyone was thinking” (Y/N) smacked him on the head “beep beep Richie. And you Mike! Why should we trust anything you say?”

“Just trust me, we can defeat It with the Ritual Of Chüd. Every creature has to obey the law of the shape they inhabit.” Mike said and Bill nodded as if he knew what he was talking about

“The ritual of what? Look again, why should we trust you? You’ve already lied to us once, what make sus believe that you’re not doing it again right now?” Richie and Eddie agreed but everyone else seemed to be on Mikes side.

“I’ve seen it. He’s not lying.” Said Bill and (Y/N) rolled her eyes

“Can’t we just do it in 30 years?” Richie asked but Eddie was quick with a response “we’ll be 70 years old asshole” but Bev was even quicker after that “we won’t make it to 70.” And with that everyone fell quiet again.

“Great. We go home, we die. We stay, we die” Ben said and Eddie started pacing around the room “there’s not much time until the cycle ends again, and when it does-“ Mike began “we’re fucked.” Eddie finished

“How do we even do this ritual anyways?” (Y/N) said, way to bravely for her own liking. Mike shot up “we have to remember” he said with hope in his voice “remember what?” (Y/N) shot back, getting insecure again

“It’s better if I show you” Mike said and started walking, the others following. (Y/N), Eddie and Richie looked at each other and sighed and followed the rest of the group, giving up and the plan on going home. They were truly fucked.

Chapter Text

CHAPTER 4
“Holy shit” (Y/N) breathed. “This is where we came after the rock fight” Mike said as they all looked around “The cubhouse” Richie said with a chuckle “you built that.” he continued and hit Ben in the shoulder. “Huh. Yeah, I do remember that” Eddie laughed quietly to himself.

(Y/N) looked at Eddie and Richie as they pushed each other around and laughed, it was like when they were kids, she smiled to herself. Suddenly in the corner of her eye she saw Bev fall and just as she was about to step forward t help, Bill caught her. ‘I see those two haven’t changed at all either’ she though and saw Ben staring at them. She couldn’t help but to start laughing cause Ben hadn’t changed either. They were all the same as they had been 27 years ago, she felt like a kid, she felt happy.

“The door should be right around here-” Ben announced as he fell through the ground below him. The losers all gasped in unison and they all seemed to be paralyzed cause no one moved. “Found it!” they all heard Ben shout from below them.

-

(Y/N) stepped down into the clubhouse “how the fuck did you build this Ben?” she asked “When did you build this?” followed Bill. Ben, as always, was blushing and looking down at the floor “Well it was already dug out pretty good I think it’s pretty good for my first time” He said and leaned towards a pillar. Just as he did, a roof panel came flying down to the floor “That’s what he said” said (Y/N) and looked at Ben skeptically and high-fived Richie.

“See this is why you have safety codes, a permit. This thing is a death trap- Oh, this is cool!” Eddie bursted in and picked up a pingisracket with a ball attached by a string. The losers all stared at him as he started the bounce the ball in Stan’s face. (Y/N) wanted to step in and stop him but it was just too damn hilarious and her and Richie were already busy trying not to laugh.

After a few seconds the string broke and the ball rolled down between two boards in the dirt. “Good going fuck-nut you broke his thing” Eddie said, annoyed “I broke it!?” Stan spit back, even more annoyed “Yeah you broke it with your face!” Eddie shot at Stan. They both looked towards the ball “I’m not putting my fucking hands down there” Eddie announced and Stan rolled his eyes.

-

Eddie looked at the ball and picked it up from between the boards. It was dusty and pretty disgusting but it made him smile. “Thought you were never gonna put your hands down there?” Chuckled (Y/N) and leaned against the pillar beside him. Eddie got up and looked at the ball once more before putting it in his pocket “Yeah i guess some things actually do change” They smiled at each other.

“Hey Losers. Time to float!” They all heard from the darkness. They all started to back away and most of them grabbed something, anything to fight back with. (Y/N) put herself in front of Eddie and held a protective arm out as if she was reaching for the others. They were ready to fight It when suddenly Richie stepped out and laughed at them. He started doing the dance that Bev had said that Pennywise had done for her all those years ago.

“Dude!” Eddie said loudly.

“Holy fuck Rich!” (Y/N) let out quietly but still harshly.

“Am I the only one who remembers this shit?” Richie asked as the rest of the losers collectively face-palmed. “Are you gonna be like this the entire time we’re home?” Eddie shot back and looked at him with disapproval. “Just trying to add some liberty to this shit, I’ll go fuck myself. It smells fucking terrible down here by the way” Richie said, more quietly the further he got into his sentence. (Y/N) moved towards him “I gotta say, the dance was pretty good. I’d say a solid 6/10” she said and laughed a little.

“The rating system!” Richie jumped

-

“You need to get better grades dude, my mom would beat you up for this and you’re not even her child.” sighed (Y/N). “It’s not like we get graded on life anyways so why is it such a big deal?” Richie sighed back and passed the cigarette over to (Y/N) “oh so you want someone to be like ‘you did laundry 8/10’ or what?” she said as she took a drag, she blew some smoke into his face “cause I can do that.” She continued.

Richie sat and thought about it for a second “Yeah why the fuck not? Maybe it’ll actually get me to be a little more conscious about the grading in school, beside if not, grades aren’t the most important thing anyways” Richie started but got interrupted “Dude! That’s exactly what it is!” (Y/N) almost screamed at him.

“Hey you can’t say anything! You have A’s in literally everything!”

“That’s exactly why I can say it!” (Y/N) began but looked down for a second and said bitterly “beside, it’s not every subject” Richie let out a laugh “oh yeah? Which subject don’t you have an A in?” They both sat quiet for a second and (Y/N) stared bitterly at him, thinking about whether to tell him or not. “Social studies” she finally muttered and Richie couldn’t help but to let out a chuckle.

“Hey it’s just because that teacher has something against me I swear!” she explained “Right..” he said but put his hands up in defence when she once again stared at him bitterly “No, no I totally believe you” he tried to explain

“That lie was 2/10..” (Y/N) said and took another drag from the cigarette.

“Hey, you’re already getting started! That’s great!” he said quickly but only got a “beep beep” back.

-

“Only a 6/10 huh?” Richie said, jokingly disappointed. “Yeah well that’s cause I think I might’ve just shat my pants” (Y/N) said and they both laughed.

“Hey guys” Bill spoke loudly “Stan” responded Mike when he saw what Bill was holding “Losers only” he read.

-

“The fuck is this?” Richie asked Stan, looking up from the comic he was reading “So you don’t get spiders stuck in your hair” Stan replied and smiled, Richie looked at him skeptically “Stan we’re not afraid of fucking spiders” Stan shrugged and stepped away but as he did all of the losers stared at him as they put the shower caps on. “I stand corrected” Richie said and went back to his comic. Eddie ripped his cap off and (Y/N) shook her head. “That’s a first” Beverly chuckled “Touche” replied Richie without looking up.

Eddie stepped forward “Hey Rich your ten minutes are up” Richie looked at him for a second “What are you talking about?” He said, playing dumb “10 minutes each, that was the rule” Eddie said, patience already thin. “I don’t see any sign” Richie looked around. Stan looked at them as they started to bicker as always. He rolled his eyes and sat down by (Y/N) as Eddie jumped into the hammock and forced Richie to share it with him.

“Hey it was really sweet of you to get these for us” (Y/N) said and touched her shower cap “It was nothing-” Stan started “Yes it was and we all appreciate it very much” she began “except mr. trashmouth over there” she said louder so that Richie would hear. She put and arm around him and pulled him close and kissed his temple. Stan blushed and smiled shyly and hugged (Y/N) back.

“Stan you should go to Florida with Mike” Richie called out and got both (Y/N) and Stan to look at him, still cuddling “you already act 80, you’d clean up well with all the the old ladies” Richie continued and made kissy noises towards Stan who once again rolled his eyes.

“Don’t pay him any mind my love” (Y/N) suddenly announced and pulled Stan even closer “old trashmouth is just jealous of our love” she continued dramatically and all the losers laughed. Richie rolled his eyes and went back to his comic but little did she know that she was right. He was jealous.

-

“I wonder what he was like grown up” (Y/N) said with sadness clear in her voice.

“Like he was when he was a kid, the best” Richie said, looking at (Y/N) who smiled slightly at his comment. She put on the shower cap and everyone else followed. They had a silent minute that was broken by Eddie suddenly remembered where they were “Mike, why are we here?” Mike looked down for a second “The ritual requires a sacrifice-” he said slowly

“I nominate Eddie” Richie said confidently “What??” Eddie responded quickly “You’re small, you’ll fit on a barbeque” Richie explained “c’mon man I’m like 5’9 it’s like average height” Eddie said with a clear insecurity in his voice

“Right..” (Y/N) and Richie said in unison. They looked at each other and let out simultaneous “aahh”s of approvement and Eddie rolled his eyes.

“It’s not that kind of sacrifice” Mike interrupted “The past is buried-” he continued “but you’re gonna have to dig it up, piece by piece. These pieces, artifacts, that’s why we’re here. They are what we sacrifice and since Stanley isn’t here to find his I figured we should all be here together to find it for him”

“I think Bill just did” Eddie said and took his shower cap off. The others did too and put their respective caps in their pockets and got out of the clubhouse.

“Okay so where do we find ours?” (Y/N) asked and dusted of her clothes as best she could with her hands. “Not to be like that but this is fucking stupid” Richie announced before Mike could open his mouth to say anything “We already remember everything, we’re all caught up” he continued and crossed his arms. Mike sighed “Not quite. We fought, split up. What happened after that? Before the fight with pennywise?” He said and looked at the other losers

“WE c-c-can’t remember can we?” Bill stuttered “That’s what we need to find. We need to split up, find them each alone and when you do, meet me in the library tonight” Mike said with an unfamiliar seriousness in his voice that made (Y/N) nervous.

Eddie let out a noise of disapproval “ I gotta say, statistically speaking, in this scenario, we’re gonna go much better as a group” “Yeah splitting up would be stupid” Richie followed “I gotta agree with these dumbasses” (Y/N) said and matched both Eddie’s and Richie’s stance by crossing her arms “we were together that summer right?” Richie tried

“N-no, not that w-whole summer” Bill cut in and (Y/N) suddenly remembered “Shit, he’s right. After the fight none of us saw each other for weeks, not even me and Eddie kept together during that time” she said, slowly but surely remembering more and more of what happened.

-

When they were in the house of Niebolt the first time Eddie had broken his arm, (Y/N) had snapped it back into place, taken off her shirt and ripped it up to make a sling for Eddies arm. They had made it back to Stans house and called Eddie’s mother. She had gotten there faster than should be possible. She had pushed Eddie into the car while cursing out each loser individually and then she had grabbed (Y/N) by the wrist, given her her own jacket and cursed out each loser once again while shoving (Y/N) in the backseat.

Eddie’s mom and (Y/N) had been friends since long before the two children were even born so it was clear when both of them got pregnant that their kids would be as good friends as they were.

“Ms. Kaspbrak please I’m begging you, my mom will kill me! She will never let me go out again after being even close to the house on Niebolt” (Y/N) begged “I’ll do anything! Please, anything”

At first she just sat there quietly “I will tell your mother, she and I will decide each of your punishments” she announced confidently. (Y/N) got angier and angier at the fact that Eddie was just sitting there, quiet. She pleaded once more but she quickly shut up.

They reached (Y/N)’s house and Eddie had remained silent the entire ride, (Y/N) was pissed. When all three got inside (Y/N) mother was furious and (Y/N) and Eddie ws forced to sit in the kitchen while their mothers decided what they were gonna do, (Y/N) once again shirtless cause Eddies mother had taken her jacket back. They were both dead silent, they didn’t even look at each other.

After a long while the two women came into the kitchen “We have decided it’s better if you two don’t see each other for a while so you can think about what you’ve done and not ever do it again-” they began “But-” Eddie tried but they cut him off “AND!” they continued “we have decided that you two will be forbidden to see any of those other kids you’re always out with, they have a bad influence on you two” their mothers looked satisfied.

“Mom!” Eddie began once again but this time (Y/N) interrupted him “Good. I don’t want to see any of those fucking losers anyways!”

“Language (Y/N)” (Y/N)’s mother tried

“NO! Fuck you!” she said to her mother “and fuck you!” she turned to Eddie’s mother “and fuck you Eddie!” she finally turned to him, he winced “I stand up for you every chance i get but now you just sit here in silence” she was on the verge of tears and all Eddie wanted to do was hug her but she continued “I snapped your fucking arm back into place and i ruined my favorite shirt just to make a damn sing for your arm and now I’ve been walking around in only my bra and this is the thanks i get?!” She cried the last part, it broke Eddie’s heart. (Y/N) ran into her room and slammed the door shut, the sound made all three of those left in the kitchen wince and (Y/N) started making her way towards her room while yelling her name. Eddie and his mother saw themselves out.

Eddie wanted to call to apologize and to thank (Y/N) for everything she had done but he just wasn’t brave enough.

-

“How will we know where to find our artifacts?” Bill asked “Derry will guide you” Mike answered cryptically and started walking away. The Losers just stood there for a second but eventually split up just like the summer 27 years ago and started to look for each of their artifacts.

Chapter Text

“Derry will guide you” (Y/N) mimicked “What does that even mean?” She continued walking. Slowly but surely somewhere she wasn’t entirely sure of yet.

-

She was walking down the street. She had just been at Georgie’s funeral. That poor kid.

Bill had cried but not as much as she had at her own sisters funeral, yeah her sister had passed away the year prior. Bill had told her that he thought Georgie may still be alive and (Y/N) hadn’t quite known what to say. She just told him to not get his hopes up but that she was with him if he wanted help searching for Georgie.

She had lost her sister Lily a year ago, she had been 7. (Y/N)’s mother and father had blamed her so naturally she had blamed herself as well. She still did.

-

It had been a long day in school for (Y/N). Bowers had been in a bullying mood today and her, Eddie, Richie, Stan and Bill has as always been in the middle of it all. She had gotten home and Lily had greeted her with a hug and kiss “what’s wrong?” She said, always knowing if something was up with her older sister.

“School was rough, but you know nothing can never be wrong when I’m with you” (Y/N) said and booped Lily’s nose and smiled when Lily broke into giggles ”I got you something” she said shyly and (Y/N) smiled brightly “oh yeah? What is it?”

“I made this for you” she said and looked down as she raised her closed hand and opened it to reveal a bracelet made out of different colored and different shaped pearls. It had “(Y/N)” spelled out in the middle of it, to (Y/N) it was the most beautiful piece of jewelry she had ever seen

“It’s so beautiful! Thank you so much Lily!” She happily said and hugged her younger sister.

“Oh right! Mom said we had to do dinner” Lily remembered “she wanted to watch television!” Lily continued innocently as (Y/N) got tense by the thought of their own mother using them to just laze about.

“Okay Lily, I’m just gonna leave my backpack upstairs. You can go into the kitchen in the meantime” (Y/N) headed upstairs into her room, she put down her backpack and sat down by her desk for a second to think about what homework she had gotten. Suddenly she heard an ear piercing scream. She jumped up and ran downstairs towards the kitchen, her mother looking towards the stairs as she was waiting for (Y/N) to report what had caused it.

(Y/N) got into the kitchen, eyes searching for her baby sister expecting a spider but instead seeing a nearly lifeless body of the one she was looking for. She let out a glass shattering scream and yelled for her mother to call 911. She kneeled over Lily’s body as the tears threatened to spill. (Y/N) looked around and saw the cutting board and spilled onion pieces and the knife. The knife was lodged into her sisters small and fragile body. In the middle of the chest. It was deep into her and the blood started to pool.

“It hurts” was all her sister managed to huff out.

“I know” (Y/N) stuttered out as the tears started to fall, she could feel herself crumbling faster and faster as her mother came down and immediately picked up the phone with shaking hands.

(Y/N) could feel the life being drained for her sister as her mother spoke quickly into the phone, telling them to come fast. (Y/N) hugged Lily’s body and repeated a prayer “don’t take her please I love her”

She suddenly got interrupted “I was just gonna continue on moms onions” Lily coughed out weakly. “I know, I know sweetie” (Y/N) cried

“And I know you love me sis, I love you too” Lily continued and raised her arm with a struggle to touch her big sisters cheek in an attempt to make her smile.

“I know, I know” (Y/N) said again, this time with a weak smile in an attempt to get her younger sister to smile in return, she did. And then she didn’t. Her arm fell down at her side and her eyes lost their spark. (Y/N) hugged the now lifeless body tighter and sobbed, loud and painful sobs.

The ambulance arrived not long after and (Y/N) was still sobbing, clinging onto the body, refusing to let go. The paramedics had to drag her off of her sister but it was too late anyways, Lily was long gone.

The people on the street they lived say they still remember those sobs, they all agreed that they had never heard such pain before or after it.

-

Georgie had been different though. No screams, no nothing. A lost child. No one knew where he was and no one had seen him, he was gone. His parents searched for weeks and although there was no screams there sure was crying. A whole lot of crying. Both Bill and (Y/N) had cried. Over both of their siblings, over their deaths and over their lives. Bill had never felt quite as close to anyone as he did to (Y/N) after losing Georgie.

Both of their parents had been less hopeful about Georgie being alive, this had transferred slightly onto (Y/N) but Bill stayed determined to find his little brother.

-

She was numb but at the same time sobbing. She felt nothing but sadness as the paramedics held her back to remove her sisters body. She screamed and screamed as high as her lungs could bear, as much as her voice could take before breaking.

A few hours after the ambulance had left (Y/N) sat on her bed, very still but her mind was going a thousand miles an hour. She couldn’t focus on one thought but one thing was for sure. She was crying, no sobbing and she was alone. Her mother was alone too, crying and her father was out somewhere, probably crying too. Lily had been the best of them. That she knew for sure.

The next day she didn’t go to school. She just laid there, refusing to move. She did so for another day, and another, and another. It had now been two weeks. Her friends, Eddie, Richie, Bill and Stan has been calling home to check on her but her mom had answered every time as she was just as unwilling to get up for a phone call as she was for anything else. Her mother wasn’t sure anyone else should know immediately so at first she just told them she was sick. Her mother didn’t love that (Y/N) and Eddie was hanging out with them even if she knew Stan was a proper boy and that Bill was kind and that Richie always made them laugh. She didn’t quite know what but she knew something smelled trouble about those boys no matter how proper, kind or funny they may be. But after two whole weeks of non stop calling her mother had decided to let the boys know.

All four of them had immediately taken their bikes and headed over to (Y/N)’s house. They had never gotten their so fast and they were sweating and panting as they threw their bikes down at the ground and ran up to the door. They knocked until (Y/N)’s mother had opened the door, surprise visible on her face and the four boys stood outside, panting hard.

She was about to open her mouth to tell them to go home as Richie pushed past her and before she could even react the rest of the boys were running upstairs towards (Y/N)’s room.

Richie, who was first busted the door open. He stared into the room and saw her body laying in her bed, blanket wrapped around her. She looked so fragile. She was facing the other way and she hadn’t moved. The rest of the boys got into the room and for a second all four of them just stood there, staring at her. Finally she turned around. She was expecting her mother but jumped back in fright as her friends were standing there instead.

(Y/N) immediately broke down and started to sob, long and painful sobs as the boys surrounded her in the bed, all hugging her simultaneously as hard and comforting they could. They had stayed overnight after lots of convincing from all their parents.

(Y/N) had felt happy again during that night and the losers had truly helped her get through it

-

The Losers has done the same thing for Bill when they had found out Georgie had died. He seemed a little better for every day but occasionally he would be at (Y/N)’s front door, sobbing. She had always taken him in and sometimes they would talk, otherwise they would just sit or lay in her bed hugging until Bill felt better.

(Y/N) would hold him and run her fingers through his hair until he wasn’t sobbing and then she would just hold him and tell him to focus on his breathing, telling him that he was okay, until he was breathing normally. Sometimes he would fall asleep and (Y/N) always managed to convince both his and her parents to let him stay until he woke up by himself.

-

One day not long after the funeral Bill has called the losers. At this point Bev, Ben and Mike had joined them. They all went to the clubhouse to meet up, apparently Bill had something important to tell them.

Eddie arrived last cause ‘his mother had been a real pain in his ass this morning’ he told them. (Y/N) understood. Her mother had also been a real pain.

Bill shushed them all and gathered their attention. “I know this is gonna sound weird-“ he began “like super weird!” Richie interrupted “But!” Bill said harshly to shut Richie up “I saw a picture of Georgie moving yesterday”

The losers started muttering to each other

“So I invited Richie over to show him I wasn’t lying” Bill continued, the muttering dying down “When Richie was there something happened. I got sucked into the photo” Bev scoffed “he’s telling the truth” Richie quickly cut her off “I got sucked in and Richie had to pull me out. IT tried to get out too but we shut the book.”

More muttering went around in the gang before (Y/N) said quietly “I thought it was only me”

“What was that?” Richie asked carefully

“I thought it was only me.” She said, louder this time “I saw a picture of Lily move and her hand reached out to grab mine. She tried to drag me into the photo. I went along at first, I honestly felt happy. I thought maybe she was still alive, living in the picture book in the attic but then I saw her eyes. They were yellow and horrible and all I saw was death.” She quieted down for a second but began again once she felt Eddie hand grasp her own “I managed to get her hand to let go of mine and I shut the book. I threw it back in the box and I honestly don’t think I’ve ever went down the stairs to the attic so fast in my life. I was truly terrified.” Her voice was shaking slightly. Eddie let go of her hand to sling his arm around her shoulders and pull her in for a hug, she accepted it, thankful of his attempt to comfort her.

“So we’ve all seen what IT can do?” Beverly asked. The losers nodded “Richie too now.” Bill said and Richie nodded towards him. “We have to kill IT” Bill said with a stern voice. “Let’s go to my house. I have maps of Derry. I’m sure we can find IT’s lair”

They stood up and started walking to Bill’s house

-

(Y/N) legs was moving towards an unknown location almost by themselves. She questioned Mike but at the same time she started realizing what he had meant.

All these memories but she just couldn’t remember what her artifact could be. She was too caught up with thinking about her artifact to notice she had stopped. She looked down and jumped back. She was by the quarry. She had unknowingly stopped right by the edge and all she saw when looking down was water far away from where her feet actually were.

Her breathing was quick and panicked for a second as she was sat on the ground from stumbling back in fear. She stood up as another memory hit her.

-

A few days after her friends had found out about the death of (Y/N)’s sister Lily they had dragged her out to the quarry. They knew it would cheer her up.

The quarry was (Y/N)’s favorite place in Derry. If it was too hot you could bath and if it was too cold you could just sit there. Bowers gang was never there and it was always peaceful.

They arrived to the quarry and sat down at the edge. It was too cold to bath today so they all just sat there, leaning on each other. (Y/N) was in the middle with Eddie and Richie on her left side and Bill and Stan in her right side. She took the bracelet Lily had given her and looked at it for a second. The losers sat up straight and looked at it.

“This is the last thing Lily gave me” she said. Just as Richie was gonna Stan was gonna open his mouth she threw it as far as she could over the edge. It landed with a splash in the water.

The boys stared at her for a long moment, shocked. “W-w-why would you d-do that?” Bill managed to get out after a long deafening silence. “Yeah what the fuck” Richie followed

“I know you don’t understand it but everything it did was make me sad. I just couldn’t keep it.”

The boys went home, one after the other but (Y/N) stayed. She sat at the edge just staring out into the small lake that held so many memories. Eventually she made her way home too.

-

She was standing up now, looking out over the water as she had done when she was a kid. If she had remembered this place she was pretty sure she would go here everyday. If she would have remembered her childhood maybe she would’ve been strong enough to leave Karl, for good.

She walked over to the edge and sat down, her feet dangling over the water below. She took a deep breath and another memory made its way into her head.

Chapter Text

It had been exactly two weeks since the fight. She hadn’t spoken a single word to any of the losers. She just didn’t have to energy nor the will to. She was walking towards the quarry as she heard Bowers call out for her from behind “hey chubs!” He called after her. He often bullied her for being chubby. She never quite got why since when he wasn’t calling her ugly or fat he was asking her to suck his dick. It was pretty confusing to be honest.

She turned around and saw Bowers and his hand standing a few meters away from her “leave me alone Bowers, I’m not gonna suck your dick” she shouted back. “Hey hey now, no rational decisions needs to be made right now” he said seductively as his goons all laughed. (Y/N) knew her way around these woods and she knew how to get lost in them, she also knew she wouldn’t get rid of Bowers from simply asking him. She had already tried that too many times. She walked up to Bowers and whispered to him “okay” he scoffed and smiled at her.

“Really?” He asked, unconvinced

“No dipshit of course not that’s fucking disgusting” she spit back and kicked him right in the nuts as hard as she could. Her foot hurt from it so she couldn’t even imagine how bad Bowers balls was hurting.

He sank down to his knees and his goons stood there looking scared and even worried for their leader. (Y/N) used this moment to make a run for it.

Bowers whole body aches as he weakly stood up “FUCKING FOLLOW HER YOU IDIOTS” he yelled in his friends faces. They started running after her as he tried walking after them, sure he failed but he was gonna get his revenge alright

(Y/N) panted hard as she stumbled over branches and piles of dirt in the thick formation of trees made into woods. She could hear Bowers goons yelling for her, she could hear their footprints sinking into the ground but she just had to keep running. She felt her legs give way but she had to keep moving, she just couldn’t stop. She was afraid if she stopped they would kill her.

Suddenly the trees opened up to the quarry and she couldn’t hear Bowers gang anymore, she was safe. She crumbled onto the ground, laying down on it, cold and hard but relieving. She started giggling even laughing in relief as she stayed down, trying to get air into her lungs and energy back into her legs.

Finally she stood back up and walked towards the edge, her legs shaking slightly. Just as she was about to sit down she heard him

“Hey chubs!”

It was Bowers, or at least that’s what she thought when she turned around but what met her gaze was nowhere near Bowers. It was a clown, a huge white faced, white clad clown. It held a red balloon that was simply floating above. This caused (Y/N) to tumble backwards against the hard, unforgiving ground. Unfortunately there was no ground, she kept falling until suddenly she hit the water. It was cold and just as unforgiving as the ground would’ve been. Her body aches as she struggled to get up to the surface. She reached the surface and took a deep breath as she was getting dizzier and dizzier from the loss of oxygen. She started panting again, trying to see the clown whom had startled her.

She tried swimming towards the shore but it felt like she wasn’t getting anywhere. Her limbs started aching as she continued to struggle to get out of the water.

“Why did you throw my bracelet into the water sis?” (Y/N) heard a voice call out from behind her. It sounded like- but it couldn’t be- was it? It was.

“Lily” She breathed out as she suddenly stopped trying to swim away and instead just floated at the surface.

“Why did you leave the bracelet? I thought you love it. I thought you loved me.” Lily said, voice growing darker and more threatening

“I love Lily!” (Y/N) called out as she felt warm tears make their way onto her now cold cheeks. She saw Lily right in front of her but it wasn’t Lily. Lily had died a year ago, she was dead “but you’re not Lily..” (Y/N) continued. As she said this Lily started to fall apart, mold and crumble. She was now a half composed corpse repeating the same sentence over and over “I thought you loved me”

(Y/N) started once again to swim towards the shore. Water filled her nose and mouth as she frantically tried to get away from the endless water. She seemed to get nowhere but suddenly she hit something. It was ground. She crawled up onto it and slipped as she tried to get out of the cold water.

She turned around and Lily wasn’t there anymore. No one was. She crawled up to the surface and layed down on the ground once again. She coughed and sneezed out the water that had entered her lungs.

She sat back up and got up on her feet. She turned around and saw a wave of balloons flying towards her “THIS ISN'T REAL” she screamed as high as she could almost like she was convincing herself of it.

She slowly opened her eyes again and it was gone, the balloons, all of them. But something was in her hand. A bracelet. Lily’s bracelet.

It terrified her. She threw it back into the water and fell down to her knees. She was sobbing again. As vulnerable and scared as she had been a year ago.

-

(Y/N) looked out over the water from the edge of the cliff. She knew she had to get the artifact, she knew she was here, at the quarry, for a reason. She took off her shoes and jacket and decided she needed to do this now. And then she did.

She took a leap out from the edge and straightened her body so that she wouldn’t crash as much with the surface.

Her body hit the water and it swallowed her. For a moment everything was still, quiet and dark. It was so peaceful, so calm. She almost didn’t want to go back up to the surface. Soon enough her lungs started to ache for oxygen and she kicked her legs to get up.

Her head got over the water and she took a deep breath. She kicked her legs to stay above the surface. She relaxed and floated slightly in the sweet water but soon felt the need to kick herself to the surface once more. For just a moment everything was perfect, she took a deep, calm breath through her nose and looked out over the small lake, she felt happy. Even with all this chaos and pennywise she felt okay.

Suddenly she felt something against her leg but she brushed it off as seaweed. Then it happened again, this time it lingered. (Y/N) kicked her leg but it stayed there, she kicked again but instead of going up whatever was by her leg pulled her down. She had barely any time to react before she instinctively took as much air as she could into her lungs before going under the surface once more. Her eyes shut as she felt herself being pulled down longer and longer. She opened her eyes, expecting to see only darkness, maybe to see what had grabbed her but instead she was met with hundreds of eyes staring at her. Bright, glowing eyes.

It was kids. It was hundreds of kids just floating around her, all eyes directed at her.

She tried kicking upwards but the more she tried the less it seemed to work, her heartbeat load in her head. The kids got closer and closer when and when she finally were able to see their faces she spotted two very familiar faces. Georgie and Lily. She started panicking, kicking her legs frantically up towards the surface. Her sister came closer and closer and closer. Lily was right in front of her. (Y/N) heart was beating out of her chest not only because she was seeing her younger sister who died 28 years ago but also because the kids had gotten noticeably closer and started now to try and grab onto her limbs. She kicked and punched and struggled all she could in the water that slowed her down.

She felt herself being pushed further down by the kids as she helplessly looked at her sister. She sunk lower and lower when suddenly she saw her sisters wrist. There it was. The bracelet. (Y/N) grabbed onto it and ripped it off her sister. She once again tried kicked up towards the surface, eyesights starting to go blurry from the lack of oxygen, and this time it worked. She felt herself get closer and closer to the surface.

Her head broke through and she inhaled, harshly and desperately as her brain took it in. She heard the children screaming and she decided that it was probably a good idea to get out of the water now.

She swam as fast as she could to shore and she crawled her way up to the safe ground. When she had crawled a few more meters and knew she was safe from it she laid down, panting hard, trying to catch her breath. She held up the bracelet and looked at it for a second.

Just as she sat up, thinking she was safe a wave of red balloons came towards her and surrounded her. She tried desperately to get out of the sea of balloons when they all suddenly popped. A loud ringing noise was all she could hear as she stared at the massive creature before her. It was that fucking clown and he was holding her sisters hand. Fuck that clown oh god she was so tired of him.

“FUCK YOU! YOU'RE NOT EVEN REAL!” She screamed and closed her eyes.

She opened them once more but he was still there, however her sister wasn’t. Now it was a man, he was average height and kind of skinny, he reminded her of someone but she just couldn’t quite place his face. “I’m not real? Well I was real enough for Stanley” Pennywise said and chuckled.

(Y/N) could feel anger building up in her chest. She clenched her fists and stalked towards him. “You have no right!” She said but suddenly stopped when she saw a massive wave of water coming towards her. She was frozen with fear as the water crashed into her. It brought her back with a strong force and she hit the ground with a thump.

She got up as fast as she could and looked around in a panic but the clown was gone. She struggled to get up, he could be anywhere. She looked down into her hand and saw the bracelet and started running towards the hotel, without shoes and jacket, just running as fast as her legs would allow.

She didn’t stop until she could see the hotel. Her legs were shaking and she could barely breathe. She started to walk towards the hotel, breathing still ragged.

She saw someone walk towards the hotel as well. It was a man and he looked like he was covered in some kind of black goo. The closer she got the more she realized that this man was actually Eddie. She would’ve called out but she still had trouble breathing normally so she just didn’t have the energy to.

He got into the hotel with her not far behind. Bev firstly asked Eddie what had happened to him, he quickly told her he didn’t want to talk about it and it reprised when (Y/N) passed Bev right after.

Eddie slipped into his room and (Y/N) into hers.

(Y/N) was shivering, the cold water finally getting to her. She hastily took her shirt off and struggled to get her jeans off too. She got her underwear off and heard some commotion downstairs. She dug around in her bag for a bit before firstly finding new underwear and then a pair and pants and a long sleeved shirt. She didn’t have any extra jacket but she did have a pair of extra sneakers luckily. She heard a scream coming from outside her room. She opened the door to find Bev and Ben running past it towards Eddie’s room. She saw him backed up against the wall as she heard him mumble something about Bowers. She ran towards him.

“Is it bad?” He asked but as he opened his mouth a mouthful of blood came gushing out “IS IT BAD?” Screamed (Y/N)

“Wait why are you wet?” He continued. Bev and Ben had gone into his room to look for Bowers. “Oh my god you’re bleeding like I don’t even know what and you’re asking me why I’m wet?”

“Well yeah. Your hair is all wet and you changed your clothes” he said innocently, he was adorable. Except the fact that he was bleeding all over the place

“Yeah and you’re covered with black goo and blood but let’s focus on getting you patched up okay?” She said, calmer now.

She escorted him into her room and sat him on her bed. She yelled at Ben and Bev to grab Eddie completely new clothes, they got into her room with new clothes a short while after.

(Y/N) instructed Eddie to hold a cloth to his cheek to try and stop the bleeding while she got all the supplies she needed. “This is gonna hurt Like a hell Eds” she warned as Beverly put the new clothes down on the table by the bed. “Don’t call me that-“ Eddie began but quickly cut himself off with a groan of pain. She was trying to sew it together with the supplies she had but they weren’t exactly ideal so it wasn’t her best work. She put a new cloth over the now half sewed stab wound and taped it to his cheek

“It should hold until we can get you to a hospital and I can borrow some shut and do it properly” (Y/N) said and put her hand on his shoulder. He winced slightly “does it hurt anywhere except the shoulder?” She asked in a panic that she had hurt him

“Well I hit my shoulder on the way out but otherwise I’m fine… I think” Eddie said calmingly. (Y/N) helped him take off his jacket and dried his hands off. She handed him a towel and some new clothes. “We need to get to the hotel so clean yourself off and little so we can go” she started walking out before she stopped again “you found your artifact right?” He nodded

“You?” He then asked

“Yeah” she said and continued walking out.

Chapter Text

Ben agreed to driving them to the library. He told them to head down to the car while he went and got Richie.

They were halfway out the door when Ben gave out a shout of agony. Bev reacted immediately by sprinting up the stairs while both Eddie and (Y/N) were a bit slower.

“Y’all okay up there?” Eddie said, loudly but carefully. (Y/N)’s mind was on high alert after her time with pennywise barely hours ago. She felt her breathing quickening and just after a few seconds she could barely get any air at all into her lungs. She left Eddie’s side and pushed herself past the front door and sat down on the cold, hard stairs that lead up to the hotel.

“What a reunion” she said to herself

“Yeah” Eddie said from behind her unexpectedly. She jumped and turned around. Bev and Ben were there too, Ben looking very frustrated.

(Y/N) sighed in relief when she saw her friends and not the giant clown she had been expecting. Her breathing was suddenly much calmer until she noticed- “where’s Richie?” She said in a panic but Ben was quick to calm her down “he left..” although calm down was maybe the wrong way to put it.

“What do you mean he left?” She almost screamed. Bev took her hand and led her towards Ben’s car “I think this might’ve been too much for Richie honey” she said, still walking.

When they reached Ben’s car a click was heard and they all got in at various speed. Ben started the car and they took off towards the library.

Ben drove and Bev manage to get shotgun. Eddie and (Y/N) sat in the backseat. Bev talked about something meaningless to try and lighten the mood a little but besides that the car was silent. (Y/N) was staring out the window, looking out over the town she grew up in, tuning out all the noise in the car, Eddie did the same. Ben however, as in love with Bev as he was managed to let his frustration go to have some light conversation with her occasionally saying something in response to her.

They finally reached the library and got out of the car. Bev and Ben continued chatting as they walked about a meter in front of Eddie and (Y/N).

“Do you really think Richie left?” (Y/N) breathed out, barely louder than a whisper. Eddie looked at her for a second, she didn’t look back.

“No” he decided “he wouldn’t leave us” he continued, mostly to convince himself “he just wouldn’t” he said again for the same reason as the first time.

All four got into the library. They heard what sounded like someone puking and quieted down. They started walking faster and faster up the stairs and reached the main area of the library. Bev was first and let out a scream, Ben who wasn’t far behind gasped. Eddie didn’t see the body on the floor at first and was happily surprised to see Richie there but then saw that a dead man was indeed right there on the floor “holy shit-“ he got cut off by a body running past him towards Richie

“I FUCKING KNEW YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE US YOU LITTLE BITCH” (Y/N) screamed and practically tackled Richie with a hug. The air went out of Richie’s lungs completely. He hugged her back but felt bad for a second cause he had in fact planned on leaving “of course not” he said guiltily.

(Y/N) suddenly jumped back “first of all you smell like you just vomited, second of all is that fucking Bowers and is he fucking dead?” All the others froze for a second, realizing that the dead body on the floor was in fact Bowers.

“Holy shit” They all said in unison “I killed him” Richie mumbled with an uncertainty in his voice. They all froze again and looked at Richie. They got interrupted however by (Y/N) bursting out into fits of giggles.

“You killed Bowers? You??” She managed to get out between laughter. She continued laughing for a second while the other just stared at her and the now dead Bowers.

(Y/N) stepped forward towards Richie once again and kissed him on the cheek “I think I speak for all of us when I say thank you for that” He blushed and looked down. He rubbed his neck “You’re welcome?” He said and looked up again.

(Y/N) and Richie stared at each other for a moment when suddenly (Y/N) noticed that Mike’s hand was bleeding and rushed over to him to check that he was okay.

“Jesus Eds What the fuck did you do to your cheek?” Richie quickly asked and turned Eddie’s head to see the bandage on his cheek

“First of all, don’t call me Eds. Second of all, it was Bowers, he fucking stabbed me in the fucking cheek. Luckily I managed to pull it out and stab him back”

At first Richie just stared at Eddie with his mouth open. After a moment he started laughing “Jesus Christ Eds” he got out. Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Seems like we both got back at Bowers today, huh?” Richie said once he recovered but then they both broke into fits of giggles “Yeah, it seems like we did” Eddie laughed back.

Chapter Text

CHAPTER 8

(Y/N) stepped back from Mike and examined him to see if he had been hurt in any other places.

“I’m fine (Y/N). I promise” he said in a soft voice and smiled at her concerned expression. “I know, I just want to make sure.” she sighed “You were never good at telling people you were hurt.” she chuckled slightly at the memory of them as children. THey locked eyes and smiled at each other, knowing they were happy with being together again.

Mike’s phone interrupted the moment by buzzing. He fished it out of his pocket and pressed the ‘answer’ button. (Y/N) stepped away and walked towards Eddie and Richie once more.

“What are you two laughing at?” She asked and smiled at seeing them so happy. “We were talking about Stan’s speech at his bar mitzvah” said Richie and continued to chuckle “-and how Richie wouldn’t stop talking about it” Eddie cut in. (Y/N) was laughing softly at the memory “god, Stan was such a fucking badass” she said and Richie and Eddie agreed. All three laughed.

“We have to go!” Mike announced loudly, slightly panicked. “What happened?” Bev and Ben said in unison. Mike was already heading out of the library but stopped for a second “Bill is about to do something very stupid…” he sighed “We have to got to the house on neibolt. He’s already on his way there” he continued walking. All the losers collectively facepalmed but followed Mike outside.

“Something is bound to go wrong” (Y/N) mumbled to herself but followed the others.

Ben offered to drive since there was enough space for all of them to sit in the car. Ben drove and Bev called for shotgun. Eddie and Richie was in the backseat and Mike and (Y/N) was in the two seats behind the backseat. Ben didn’t lie when he said his car was big. It stinged in (Y/N)’s chest to know that Stan wasn’t there with them but somehow she just knew he was in a good place, most definitely better than her at least.

They finally reached the house on neibolt street and Bill were already standing outside on the road that lead into the house. It was a road that lead to all their worst fears and nightmares but they knew it was too late to turn back now.

“shit” was heard from several of the losers in the car before they stepped out of it to join Bill.

Bill saw them but said nothing. The losers walked up to him. “Is it really a good idea to go in there without a plan?” (Y/N) said firmly. “He killed the kid” Bill said and starred right ahead on the house on neibolt. The losers looked around at each other. None of them knew what kid he was talking about but they understood his pain from losing Georgie. They knew what it meant to him.

“Richie I’m gonna need you to say what you said 27 years ago here.” Bill announced, his back still turned towards them. All eyes turned to Richie and he stood there, dumbfounded.

“This is almost longer than my wang?” Richie said, still confused. (Y/N) snorted

“The other thing Richie” Bill said, shaking his head slightly

“I fucked Eddie’s mom?” He continued. Eddie hit him on she shoulder, Richie whimpered quietly

“The other thing.” Bill repeated, this time firmly.

Something clicked in Richie’s brain, you could see his eyes light up as he began working up a slight smile “Let’s go kill this fucking clown”

And with those words they all went into the house. When they got in they were all scared but when they actually were inside it didn’t seem as big and scary as they did when they were kids, it was rotten and basically falling apart.

“Love what he’s done with the place..” Richie snorted. It landed him a hit on the shoulder from Bev, he winced jokingly.

“Let’s go downstairs then” (Y/N) announced to the rest and they nodded in agreement.

They started moving towards the kitchen, or at least what they thought used to be a kitchen, where the stairs which lead down to the basement were.

Half of them had gotten through the door to the kitchen when the door slammed shut. Richie, Bill and Eddie had gotten inside the kitchen while Mike, Bev, Ben and (Y/N) was locked out from it. Both teams started banging on the door in a desperate attempt to get it open, it failed and they all eventually backed away from the door.

“Damn it!” (Y/N) screamed in frustration and sighed deeply and loudly. Bev patted her shoulder slightly “don’t worry, we’re gonna get it open okay?” she tried “I know but I’m still gonna worry about them until we do.” (Y/N) replied and sighed once again.

Suddenly Ben started screaming in pain. All the other three in the room ran to his side. (Y/N) looked at him and tried to find out what was causing him pain. She could hear the three other trapped behind the door to the kitchen screaming in vain to find out what had happened and if they were okay but just as she was about to answer she saw blood sipper through Ben’s shirt at the exact spot Bowers had cut him up 27 years ago. He fell down to the floor despite all three of them trying to hold him up. Bev and Mike were on each side and (Y/N) were in front of him.

She lifted his shirt up slightly and gasped at the deep wounds caused by seemingly nothing. It appeared an H and then an O and then an M and then an E. She tried to find out what was happening, if it was real or not and who or rather what was causing it. More letters appeared. A, T, L, A, S and T when Bev suddenly gasped loudly. (Y/N) wanted to know why but she was just too busy trying to stop the bleeding. She had already ripped open her backpack filled with several medical kits. As she dug through it and found a few cotton balls to stop the bleeding with Bev left Ben’s side.

(Y/N) looked up slightly to see that the next thing that was getting cut was not Ben’s stomach, but his throat. She was getting more and more anxious every millisecond. She saw the mirror Bev was running towards in the corner of her eye, she saw pennywise just as Bev crushed the mirror with a metal pipe. (Y/N) once again looked down at Ben’s stomach and the letters were gone, she looked up and the start of the wound on his throat was gone as well.

They all simultaneously sighed in relief, most of all Ben but their moment of silence didn’t last long as they heard how to door unlocked and opened just enough for them to hear screaming from the kitchen.

All four of them rushed in to see Bill over Richie trying to put some kind of spider off his head and Eddie pushed into the corner. (Y/N)’s mind went a thousand miles an hour from seeing Richie like that. He was screaming a Nd both Bill and Richie was struggling to keep the spider like thing off his face.

Without thinking she grabbed an old rusty knife from the counter beside her and practically jumped and stopped the think right in the middle of the head. It’s muscles contracted and relaxed after a second and Bill pulled it of Richie’s face. Bill rushed off Richie and helped him up. (Y/N) hugged Richie as hard as she could “god damn it Rich, I can’t lose you. Not again” she sighed, her voice shaky. Richie smiled slightly at her soft words and stroked her hair.

Their moment was interrupted by Bill screaming at Eddie “GOD DAMN IT ED! HE TOOK G-GEORGIE. HE TOOK T-THE KID. Y-Y-YOU WANT HIM TO TAKE R-R-RICHIE TOO? HUH?”

Eddie just kept on crying while covering his face with his hands. (Y/N) put her hand on Bills shoulder, he relaxed slightly but she knew he was pissed. “Enough!” She said harshly “he’s scared. Of course he doesn’t want to lose Richie.” She continued. He opened his mouth to say something but she interrupted “I said enough” she growled. Mike stepped forward and pulled Bill away from Eddie. Bill fell into Mike’s arms, desperate for a hug, Mike sensed it and hugged him softly.

“Eddie..” She began, much softer now “it’s okay, it’s okay to be scared” she continued. She felt a hand on her shoulder, it was Richie “I’m okay” he whispered “look at me” he told Eddie and then put his hand on Eddie’s cheek to direct his eyes to meet his. (Y/N) took a step back and went back to the room next to the kitchen to get her bag, she picked it up and for just a second everything went black. She could see a slight flicker of something, no.. someone. Someone stuck in the deadlights. Someone getting hurt. Just as she grasped what she was seeing it all disappeared.

She stumbled back slightly, her mind not white grasping what had just happened, she tried to brush it off as nothing while walking back into the kitchen but she had a really, really bad feeling about it all.

They headed down to the basement once again and reached the well that led down to where they had met pennywise 27 years ago.

All seven of them stood around the well as Mike fixed the rope the would use to climb down with.

“Alright, no backing out now.” (Y/N) began “Richie?” She added to make him finish. He looked at her, proudly knowing exactly what she wanted him to say “Let’s kill this fucking clown.”

Chapter Text

The losers were walking through the thigh-high slum water in the tunnels below Derry with Mike guiding them. Eventually they reached a bigger kind of middle room. Several ends of different tunnels connected to it. There was a big platform-like thing in the middle. They struggled with getting up on it as they panted from walking through the water.

(Y/N) boosted Eddie, Bill and Richie up before Ben took her by surprise around the hips and pushed her up, she let out a surprised gasp. “Jesus Ben I didn’t think you could carry me” she blushed.

He scoffed lightly “c’mon you’re not that heavy, and a lot had changed in 27 years you know.” They smiled at each other and (Y/N) held her hand out and helped him up as well. She and Ben pulled Mike up as well.

(Y/N) helped Mike get up properly while Ben waited for Bev to reach him so that he could pull her up.

She was just a few steps away as something popped up from under the water behind her. It was an ugly thing, it looked like an old woman and a zombie and some kind of witch at the same time. All the losers gasped in unison as Bev was pulled underwater.

(Y/N) knew immediately what she had to do and dove directly into the water where Bev had been mere seconds ago. She desperately tried to see anything in the dark water, her eyes hurt after just a few seconds and she had to get to the surface once again to breathe.

She saw the others had jumped in except Eddie. “Eddie!” She screamed, he didn’t even flinch, already frozen in fear. “Eddie!!” She yelled again, louder this time. Still nothing. She looked at Eddie one more time and dove down into the water again.

Eddie snapped out of the trance he was in and looked at the water, there was no way he was getting into that slum water again, especially not if it meant drenching himself in it and if none of the others could save Bev, then what could he do?

There was an ear shattering silence in the room as the rings on the surface of the water faded, erasing all evidence of it ever being anyone in the water. He contemplated jumping in but a large part of him was still completely against it.

Suddenly the surface of the grainy water broke and the losers that had jumped in came through, including Bev. They gasped and coughed as they stood completely drenched in the dirty water. They got up on the platform once again and just as (Y/N) was about to school Eddie on not jumping in he jumped forward and grabbed both of her arms and scanned her up and down, he hugged her and threw himself on Richie next. The other losers looked at the three fondly, they knew what they felt even if the three in focus didn’t.

“I’m so glad you guys are okay” said Eddie but immediately looked down again, filled with shame “I’m sorry I didn’t do anything” he mumbled and as much as they wanted to yell at him and be angry they just couldn’t, not now. “It’s okay Eds, we’re alive aren’t we?” Richie said with a soft voice and patted his shoulder, Eddie looked up at him with puppy eyes and Richie was pretty sure he melted right then and there.

Mike interrupted their moment by opening some kind of lid. The others looked down but all they saw was darkness “there’s a ladder we can climb down on” Mike announced and looked up at the others who all looked quite terrified.

After a few agonizing seconds Bev opened her mouth “alright I’ll go first then if none of you wants to” but ben was quick to volunteer after she had spoken up “you sure you’re okay? I can go first if you’d like?” But Bev pushed past him and Mike “I’m fine and besides, I went first 27 years ago, why wouldn’t I go first now?” The losers chuckled for a second but grew silent as bev stepped down into the abyss.

One by one of the losers went into the hole. After Bev, Ben went in and after him Mike went in, then Bill and as Bill’s head disappeared from sight (Y/N) looked at Richie and Eddie “looks like I’m next..” she sighed and stepped into the hole. Just as she had stepped down into the darkness she heard a few grunts from below her “how long is this damn tunnel” she heard from Bev and chuckled to herself, she continued climbing.

“I don’t think I can do this Richie, I’m just gonna get you all killed” Eddie said with a concerned voice. Richie stepped forward and brought his hand to Eddie’s cheek and held it. “You can do this Eddie. You’re braver than you think. He said in a soft voice.

“Thanks Richie” Eddie sighed and smiled slightly. Richie patted him on the cheek and Eddie flinched away, it was the cheek he had gotten stabbed in.. Richie quickly let out a quiet ‘sorry’.

“You guys coming or what?” They heard from the abyss, it was (Y/N). They looked at eachother and Eddie climbed in first with Richie not far behind.

With much struggle, many grunts and accidental kicks to each other’s faces, they were finally all the way down.

Mike started walking but said nothing, the others just looked at each other and followed.

Eventually they reached a big room in the cave they had landed in. They walked into what looked like a stopped explosion made out of rocks. Richie let out “these are almost longer than my wang” with a chuckle as the other collectively sighed and made sure to let him know how disgusting that was.

Mike hunched down and took some kind of leather-urn out of his backpack. “You got your artifact?” Eddie whispered to (Y/N). She nodded but her eyes were still focused on what Mike was doing. “What is your artifact anyways?” He kept going but just as (Y/N) was going to reply Mike interrupted “alright, it’s time” he said firmly.

Long flames came out of the leather-urn and Bev stepped forward first “This is a poem” she said and Ben looked at her as if his world would fall apart, she threw the card into the flames. Bill stepped forward next “this is the boat I built with Georgie-“ his voice quivered as he stopped himself and threw it in the fire. They all looked at Bill with apologetic eyes and there was a comforting silence for a few seconds. Eddie coughed quietly and stepped forward. He took his asthma medicine out of his pocket and just as he was about to throw it in the fire he took one last puff and smiled a little, knowing it wouldn’t do anything anyways. “C’mon dude” said Richie, disappointment eminent in his voice. “Jeez, I’ll buy you a new one man, just c’mon” (Y/N) followed. He finally threw it in the fire.

Ben quietly stepped forward “uhm-“ he adjusted his body uncomfortably “this is a page from my yearbook” he looked at it one last time, sadness clear in his eyes. (Y/N) knew what that page meant to him and she was sad for him when he had to let it go.

Richie stepped forward next and announced while holding a small coin “this is a token from street fighter-“ but Eddie was quick to start arguing with him “dude you brought an actual token?” And Richie was even quicker to hit him with a come back

“yeah man, that’s what we were actually supposed to do asshole”

“Do you have any idea how long that’s gonna take to burn?”

“Do you have any idea how long your little container is gonna take to burn and how many toxic gases it’s gonna release”

They kept yabbing for a little while until Mike interrupted them “this is the rock that started it all for me”

“The rock war” Beverly whispered as Mike threw it into the fire

“You know how long a god damn rock will take to burn?” Richie egged on but was quickly shut up by Eddie gasping slightly “oh wait!” He said as he patted his pockets and took a shower cap out of one of them. The losers smiled slightly at the memories of their late friend as Eddie tossed it into the fire.

(Y/N) was next and she knew it. She stepped forward and looked at the bracelet she was holding. She smiled at it a little, it was funny how she had thrown it into the derry when she was a kid but now she could barely toss it a few centimeters ahead of her into the fire. “This is the last thing my sister gave to me” she let out, voice close to breaking. She closed her eyes and fist, she kissed her closed fist and threw the bracelet into the flames. “Take each other’s hands” Mike spoke up. They all grabbed each other’s hands and watched as lights started forming from above.

The losers started mumbling “What the hell is that” Richie said, louder than the rest as three distinctive lights flew down towards them. Their eyes were turned away when Mike started yelling at them not to look at the lights. He told them to chant ‘turn light into dark’ over and over.

They obeyed as he started chanting something in some kind of foreign language. Various questions were scattered between the losers but Mike kept telling them to keep chanting. They did.

Suddenly the lights were gone and everyone kept asking Mike if they succeeded or not until suddenly instead of no light, there was a hauntingly red light coming from the small open spaces in the urn. That red light started swelling, looking like some kind of balloon. Mike tried to push it down but it kept swelling and swelling until the losers were forced to start backing away from the urn. Mike screamed at them to keep chanting but nothing changed the fact that the red balloon was closing in on them. They each backed out of the various dips in the strange center of the cave, all shouting at Mike, wondering what was happening.

The losers had gotten out and the balloon-like thing was so big that it was starting to seep through the ups and downs of where they had been standing mere seconds ago.

The losers shouted back and forth until suddenly the balloon popped, the shockwave sent the losers to the ground and everything went silent.

Chapter Text

(Y/N) was down on the ground as she barely made out inaudible noises. She could hear muffled voices, they sounded far away and she couldn’t quite make out what they were saying. She lifted her head and started standing up as she shook her body loosely to check that nothing was broken and that she was in generally a good condition. She shook her flashlight that was currently in not such a good condition. She hit it against her hand and it started blinking weakly until it finally lit up. She saw Richie and Eddie by each other’s side checking up on each other and Bev getting checked on by Ben, she’d laugh at how disgustingly cute they were but now just wasn’t the time for laughter, at least not until they knew the clown was gone for good. She saw Bill but as she started regaining her hearing she heard the others calling for Mike, worry filled her entire body as she saw the losers all searching for him. Suddenly he appeared and everyone collectively sighed in relief until Eddie reminded them of the main goal.

“Did we do it? Did we? Did we do it?” He said just as panicked as the others felt and Richie followed up with “we put the tokens in the thing right?” Eddie kept stressing and just as Mike was about to calm them down to assure they had killed the clown Beverly turned around and shined her flashlight at the biggest face any of them had ever seen, but not just any face, Pennywise’s face.

They all yelped and jumped back at the sight “So, did it work Mikey? Did it work” Pennywise’s taunting voice followed by a sickening laugh boomed through the cave “Tell them why your silly little ritual didn't work.. Tell them it's all just a, what’s the word Eds? Gazebo?” He taunted. The losers collectively tensed up, more so than before if possible. Had Mike lied to them?

“Mike, what’s he talking about?” Eddie began

“M-Mikey?” Bill followed

“Oh, Mikey, you never showed them the fourth side, did you?” He laughed that horrible laugh again, (Y/N) winced and started searching for a way out but the cave was too dark to see through. Pennywise went on to describe what had actually happened with the Shokopiwah. The losers started yelling at Mike for lying again but he explained in a panic that the Shokopiwah hadn't believed, all they had to do was believe, he started rambling about how that’s why it didn’t work back then

“Are you fucking kidding me Mike!?” Richie silenced him

(Y/N) could see the panic in Mike’s eyes even through the darkness of the cave as he tried to explain that they needed to believe all while the other losers collectively screamed curses at him, including herself. They could all die because Mike lied. Suddenly they were all silenced by three flying balls of light flew up into the air, they seemed to circulate around each other “The deadlights! Don’t look at them!” Bev screamed, they all covered their eyes.

“For 27 years, I dreamt of you, I craved you, I missed you! I’ve been waiting for this very moment” The losers started moving backwards, desperately trying to find a way out and away from the apparently unkillable clown but Mike couldn’t move for some reason. The others kept screaming at him to move, to run, to do anything but just stand there but it was like nothing got to him, he just kept apologizing.

“Time to float!” Pennywise presented in a sing-songy voice as his right hand turned into some kind of massive claw like thing. Bill was pressed up against one of the cave walls, Ben was holding onto Beverly and Richie held a protective arm up against both Eddie and (Y/N) in an attempt to shield them from the horrors ahead of them. The five of them collectively gasped as they froze in fear. Pennywise struck the claw towards mike but the second before it hit him, Bill ran and tackled him to the ground. The claw barely missed the two of them as they started getting pulled up by the rest.

Pennywise started charging the claw towards the losers, one by one. They ran for their lives, literally as they all desperately searched for a way out. Mike slid under a rock formation and hid, Bill threw himself into what he thought was a small hole in the cave but actually turned out to be a very deep puddle. He started kicking his legs to go upwards but when he reached the surface it had frozen shut.

Bev and Ben ran into a thin opening in the cave, they hoped it was a way out. Ben held on tighly to Bev’s hand when they suddenly reached a dead end. Fuck.

Richie had dragged Eddie and (Y/N) to a slight dip in the cave, Richie held the two others behind his back as he peeked out from the rock that didn’t really cover them. “Fuck” cursed Eddie and (Y/N) in unison, they would chuckled but there was currently a much more pressing matter at hand “Can he see us?!” Richie asked in a slightly calmer tone just as the clown himself looked straight at them and charged towards them. They screamed and ran towards the dark tunnel in the dip they had been standing in.

Richie ran first and the other remaining two not far behind. But suddenly Eddie stopped Richie by pulling his arm back “what the fuck Eds?!!” but Eddie just slapped his arm and pointed his finger to beside him. There was a horror in his eyes that Richie only registered as he started turning around, he was just about to ask where (Y/N) had gone when his voice died in his throat.

When he turned around he saw a horrified (Y/N) banging her fists in vein against some kind of glass in front of her. The road had split and (Y/N) was just going to take a quick look to see if it was safer and she had gotten trapped. She stopped herself as she saw something coming towards them, she started screaming at the two men to keep running, that she will be fine but they just yelled back that they weren’t leaving her until they turned around and started running in a panic directed towards whatever was coming towards them in a very high speed.

Eddie and Richie was out of sight, she only hoped they were okay. She realized that she probably wouldn’t be able to break whatever was keeping her separate from the rest of the cave and instead decided to turn around. That was a mistake.

She was back in the kitchen her sister had died in all those years ago. Lily was laying on the floor, knife buried deep in her chest as she struggled to breathe. (Y/N) rushed to her side and held her head up, she opened her mouth to tell her long dead sister that everything was okay but her younger self stopped her.

“I’m sorry” she said softly.

There was an almost comfortable silence in the room “I know” (Y/N) finally let out “but there is nothing you could have done” she continued “and-” she began but her younger self cut her off “Of course i could’ve done something!” she snapped back “I COULD HAVE SAVED HER” she screamed, (Y/N) almost fell backwards but was held in place by Lily’s body in her arms.

“Nothing changes by being sorry for what you could’ve done.” (Y/N) said firmly “You were the best big sister anyone could ever wish for. Lily loved you and you, well I, loved her, we still love her.” The younger version of her fell down to her knees and suddenly the older version, or herself so to speak wasn’t holding Lily’s dead body anymore, she was holding her own dead body. She looked down at her youngers selfs dead eyes, she closed them and kissed her forehead. Suddenly she was gone too and replaced with Eddie’s dead body.

(Y/N) let out a yelp and could no longer make out what was real or not.She felt a weight against her side and as she looked she saw Richie’s dead body. She jerked back and both dropped Eddie and let Richie fall to the ground completely, she felt tears starting to pool in her eyes as she stumbled backwards. She expected the glass like wall to stop her but she continued to stumble back until the cave wall hit her back instead. She instinctively looked at the wall to ensure herself that it was actually i wall and when she had done that she looked back to see the two bodies of her dear friends again but they were gone, thank fucking god.

She stumbled out the same way that she had come in but there was no sign of the road that Richie and Eddie had taken and there was even less of a sign of the two of them. She stopped abruptly as she heard a rock clashing with the ground and a confident “Hey fuckface” by none other than Richie himself. She heard a thud and a grunt and started pacing as fast as she could towards the sound, her legs were shaky and it felt like they could give away under her at any second.

“You wanna play truth or dare?” She heard, fuck what was that idiot doing now? “Here’s your truth! You’re a sloppy bitch!” She started running now, Richie had not just told an unkillable fucking shapeshifting clown that it was a sloppy bitch. She ran in vain as she heard him continue “Yeah! Let’s dance! Yippie kayey motherf-” Then it stopped. She stopped to make sure her own breathing and running wasn’t masking the sound of that idiot but it stayed silent. (Y/N) immediately started running again but as she finally pushed through to the rest of the cave where the voices came from she scanned the room until her eyes landed on the idiot himself, except right now he wasn’t an idiot, he was her idiot and he was caught in the deadlights.

“Fuck” she breathed, she quickly scanned the room once again and managed to find Bill and Mike, they seemed alright although Mike was covered in dust and Bill in water. Her eyes snapped back to Richie when suddenly she heard a voice.

“Beep beep motherfucker!” It was Eddie. He was running with the fire poker Beverly had given him earlier, she gasped as everything seemed to happen in slow motion. The poker went right through Pennywise’s wide open mouth, Richie fell down on the ground again and the clown started almost coughing although she wasn’t sure of what exactly it was coughing up. It stumbled back and one of the rock-explosion things in the middle of the cave went straight through its chest. It let out a final breath and the giant body relaxed completely.

(Y/N) snapped her head back in the other direction as she heard footsteps, it was Bev and Ben. She sighed in relief. Everyone was okay. She heard Eddie fussing about killing Pennywise behind her but as she turned around to make sure Richie was okay her eyes widened, she saw it just a second too late.

“I think I did it! Ithink I killed IT for real-” but he hadn’t and the claw to prove it had gone straight through Eddie’s chest.

Chapter Text

Beverly’s ear shattering scream was mixed with (Y/N)’s.

There was complete silence for just a moment as they all stared at the claw-like thing going through Eddie’s body and the blood that was dripping down on a terrified Richie.

Pennywise pulled Eddie up further into the air as screams were heard from the losers. Mike stared in awe while Bill screamed no, Bev sobbed as Ben choked on his own voice. (Y/N) sprung into action, the last thing she wanted was for Eddie to get dropped from that height but she was too late, as the screams behind her got muffled and her eyes blurry due to tears she kept running even though deep down she knew she couldn’t help him. Pennywise slammed Eddie into a wall before he dropped down into a sort of cave within the cave. (Y/N) stopped dead in her track as a scream of agony escaped her. If anyone who lived on the street she did when Lily died was there, they would’ve said it was worse than that. The scream that came out of her made it feel like time had stopped, She was pretty sure even Pennywise was distracted by it.

Her legs moved again and she practically threw herself down the cave which Eddie had tumbled into. The rest of the losers were mere seconds behind. She cradled him as desperate sobs escaped her throat, she tried to get words of comfort out but choked on her own voice every time. She could hear the fucking clowns muffled voice but she couldn’t make out what it said, Richie was closer though.

“He’s hurt really badly! We gotta get him out of here!” Richie planned on continuing his rant but got cut off by none other than (Y/N) “Yeah no shit!” she managed between her sobs, she tried in vein to swipe the tears away from her face but new ones kept rolling down her cheeks. Suddenly Eddie spoke.

“I almost killed it” he gasped “the leper.” The losers looked at each other in a confusion but he continued “I had my hands around its throat, I could feel it choking.” sniffling was heard from them all, desperate to find a way to save him “I made him small… He seemed so weak, h-he seemed so weak....”

Mike started rambling about the Shakopiwa again and how all living things must abide by the law of the shape they inhabit, he was cut short by Ben announcing he had found some kind of tunnel, or passageway as he called it, (Y/N) couldn’t exactly hear anything else, it was all starting to blur together, the words, the voices. All she was concentrating on was Eddie’s breathing and the massive hole in his chest. It was quite high up on the body, high up enough that it was a good chance the liver had been spared, at least to a livable degree. The giant puncture wound was on the right side so, even if she wasn’t 100% certain, the heart seemed intact.

She was yanked out of her thoughts as Bev dragged her through the tunnel. Richie and Ben carried Eddie and while Bev, Ben, Mike and Bill were planning to make a run for it, You and Richie stayed behind with Eddie. Blood was coming out of his mouth, that was definitely bad.

The thoughts were moving 1000 miles per hour in her head, the right lung seemed to be the only organ severely damaged by the claw and you can technically live without it but he needed operation as fast as possible and if the internal damage wasn’t going to kill him, the bleeding certainly would. But then she remembered.

The formula.

Her formula, she had brought some. Barely enough, sure, but she could definitely use it for some good. She started rummaging through her bag, looking for the supplies needed.

“Hey Richie.. I need to tell you something..” Eddie mumbled and both Richie’s and (Y/N)’s eyes flew up to look at the injured man, they waited for just a moment before “I fucked your mom” Then he started laughing to himself. Richie didn’t laugh for once but (Y/N) couldn’t help but release a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

Richie left Eddie’s side to help the rest of the losers, she could hear screaming but as long as it’s not silence it’s good, right? She had to focus on Eddie now. She worked her way from the back to the front as she kept hearing her coworkers cheer her on as they had first tested the formula.

She remembered it like yesterday, one of the nurses in her department had gotten stabbed in the hand by a patient suffering from PTSD, her formula was barely testable but she was bleeding heavily and one of her colleagues told her to try it, the nurse agreed and it had worked. It stopped the bleeding, but only for about 30 minutes and she didn’t even have nearly enough to cover a hole this big.

But as she zoned in again she could still hear the others yelling but she didn’t feel warm blood on her hands anymore, she had successfully stopped the bleeding. Holy fuck. She snapped herself from her thoughts quickly to check Eddie’s heartbeat and breathing. It was there, it wasn’t steady but it was there.

“Eddie I’m gonna need you to stay with me here okay?” He grunted in response “I was able to stop the bleeding momentarily, but it won’t last long. We need to get you to a hospital and-” she was cut off by his hand on her cheek. Her eyes darted to the mess of tourniquets and bandages and rookie-like stitches she knew was under it, it wasn’t a very good job but for now it was enough and with how little time she had successfully done it in was frankly pretty impressive. He patted her cheek and smiled weakly at her, she smiled back in an attempt to comfort him “(Y/N)-“ he tried but ended up coughing up more blood. She hushed him despite desperately wanting to hear what he had to say. “You’ll need your strength. Just stay awake for me, okay?” He nodded, thank god.

He was still alive. That was all that mattered at the moment

“BEN! MIKE! I NEED SOME HELP OVER HERE!” She yelled as loudly as her voice would allow her to. After maybe 20 seconds all of them were by your side. “Eddie’s still alive and I’d like to keep it that way. Ben, Mike, you’re the strongest two of us, you’ll carry him. We need to get out now.” They didn’t say anything but listened to you orders.

-

They were out after only 5 minutes. They had found a tunnel that lead right out to the front yard of the neibolt house. Mike and Ben were still carrying Eddie between them, (Y/N) walking backwards in front of them to make sure Eddie didn’t either lose consciousness or start bleeding again.

“Mike, you drive to the nearest hospital, I’ll be in the backseat with Eddie. There’s one roughly 15 minutes outside of Derry, I saw it on the way here. It’s better than the shit hole here in Derry and it’ll give us a bigger chance of saving Eddie.” (Y/N) quickly stated as Mike and herself helped Eddie into the car.

“Isn’t it better if he goes to the nearest one? He has a bigger chance of surviving it if he goes in to surgery immediately right?” (Y/N) suddenly snapped “Which one of us is a comedian and which one of us are one of the most successful doctors in the country?” He looked into her eyes and saw nothing but fear but her voice was steady and fierceful, he put up his hands in surrender and backed away slightly “that’s what I thought.. Mike, you better not drive legally-” was the last thing the other losers heard as the car sped away.

Chapter Text

Her heart was racing, it was like it was constantly doing somersaults. (Y/N) sat next to Eddie in the backseat. She was trying to keep him awake while keeping herself sane as her best friend in the entire world was on the verge of death.

“I can see the light..” Eddie whispered, (Y/N)’s eyes shot up from the now, temporarily filled, gaping hole in his chest to his face, he was smirking. That bastard…

“If you didn’t already have a hole in your chest you best believe I would create one..” She scoffed. She could see Mike smile slightly in the corner of her eye but just as Eddie seemed like he was supposed to say something else he started coughing horribly and as much as he tried to hide it, (Y/N) saw the blood leaking from his mouth.

“MIKE!” She yelled, his eyes shot from the road for a split second to meet her desperate ones. “when i said to drive fucking illegally, I fucking meant it” anger suddenly rose in her chest when she realized the car couldn’t go nearly as fast as she wanted to. Mike was surprisingly fast and surprisingly good at driving fast but she just wanted to punch a hole in the seat because of the whole situation.

Maybe if she had worked harder, maybe if she had worked faster, maybe if she had said no to that interview and instead worked on her formula, maybe if she had just listened to her fiancé, maybe if she would-ve spent more sleepless nights on her formula, if only she would’ve been better, done better, worked better… If only it had been her instead of him-

“(Y/N)” Eddie’s voice was barely over a whisper but she heard it clear as day “don’t” he breathed, as if he had just read her thoughts “I know that face, I know what you’re thinking” he tried to smile but instead coughed up more blood, she shushed him and concentrated on keeping him alive instead of blaming herself. She didn’t see it but Eddie leaned back on the carseat and smiled to himself, he couldn't help but remember when he had learned what that expression meant.

-

It was a few weeks after he had found out about (Y/N)'s sister's death. She wore the same expression each day. Every time he saw her, which wasn't nearly as often as he wished to, she had the same face. It was unchanged week in and week out. After a while she started coming to school again but her expression remained the same and what was worse was her silence. She was always quiet, it didn’t matter if he and Richie bickered, she wouldn’t join or stop them. It didn’t matter if Stan was being smarter than everyone else, or if he was mindlessly talking about birds, she would neither complement him, tease him lovingly, stop anyone else from teasing him or ask him about it further. Bowers could bully her all he wanted, she stopped standing up for herself, she stopped making snarky remarks about the popular girls, she stopped hanging out after school, she stopped living. It was as if she had died along with Lily.

After several weeks of her silence Eddie just couldn't take it anymore. He marched right on over to her house, despite his prootesting mother. It was late at night, a school night too but her house wasn’t too far away from his own so he thought nothing of the time. All he had in his mind was how he was going to get back the old (Y/N).

Eddie finally reached (Y/N)’s house and started knocking furiously on the door. Her mother opened with an obvious look of annoyance which was soon wiped away with one of the fakest smiles he had ever seen.

“may I come in?” He asked before the woman before him had a chance to speak. The look of surprise was easy to spot and he once again didn’t give her a chance to speak before pushing past her. He yelled a thank you as he ran up the stairs towards (Y/N)’s room. He threw the door open and threw himself on her before he even as much as had a chance to see her face of surprise.

She had been sitting on her bed, reading a book they had been assigned to at school. She wasn’t really reading it tho, her mind filled with guilt about her late sister. She saw how her mother looked at her nowadays, she knew her father came home less and less. She was practically counting down to the day when he would just never come home again so that her mother had something more to blame on her. If only she had brought Lily along with her upstairs, if only she had stayed with her downstairs, if only she had assigned her to something else, if only she had been faster, if only-

WHAT THE FUCK IS EDDIE DOING HERE-

Eddie threw himself on top of her, all the air went out of her lungs with an ‘oof’ as he landed smack dab on top of her. It took her a few seconds to recover and to start comprehending just what was happening but when she finally got a grip she realized that Eddie was hugging her. Her whole body went slack and without even realizing, tears started to roll down her face and they didn’t stop. Painful sobs racked through her entire body but Eddie didn’t let go.

None of them knew just how long they stayed like that but when (Y/N) finally stopped crying her eyes were red and irritated from the tears, her nose was the same and her throat felt like barbed wire had been dragged through it. That night Eddie stayed by her side, telling her nothing but stories from all the afternoons she hadn’t been with the other boys, telling her what they had done, what they had said and when she was finally laughing again he told her how it wasn’t her fault, that her mother could go to hell for blaming her, that her own mind could go to hell for blaming her. He told her over and over again that it wasn’t her fault until she believed him, and she did.

She believed him.

-

Eddie was awoken from his thoughts when the car came to a stop. He heard (Y/N)’s and Mike’s drowned out voices, he could feel his consciousness slipping despite how hard he was trying to stay awake. He felt himself being lifted out of the car, Mike’s warm body was on his right side, while (Y/N)’s contrasting, cold body was on his left. He tried to walk but all the strength in his body was gone, he didn’t even have the power to keep his eyes open, his head started dipping as Mike and (Y/N) practically dragged him into the hospital.

Mike looked around the hospital, it was clean and there were almost no patients in the waiting room which they had just entered. (Y/N) immediately started yelling for nurses as she guided the three of them to the reception. She started talking quickly stating all of their names along with several medical terms Mike did not even begin to understand. Eddie started slipping and as (Y/N) rambled on about some car accident being the reason to how they were all looking. He did his best to keep Eddie upright.

(Y/N)’s voice didn’t even as much as quiver. She was fierce and steady as she stated her doctoral ID. She scrambled for her pocket which luckily held her wallet which in turn held her ID, she fished it out and after about 5 minutes of straight rambling about how Eddie needed surgery stat and how she had to be there to make sure he stayed alive, the nurses and several doctors brought both Eddie and (Y/N) somewhere Mike wasn’t allowed. The last thing he saw from them was (Y/N)’s face. She smiled at him, reassuring him that everything was going to be alright but unbeknownst to her, he didn’t miss when she turned around and her face fell into something much more serious.

Chapter Text

Richie, Beverly, Ben and Bill were left standing in front of the now fallen house on neibolt. Bill was the first to speak up, the others jumped at the sound of his voice

“Let’s go back to the hotel and get another car. It shouldn’t take more than 20 minutes to walk there, maybe 15 if we power walk” He tried to sound strong, he was supposed to be the leader of their group, he had to act like one. He waited for a response for a few solid seconds until Ben grunted out a ‘yeah, okay’ and started walking, the others not far behind.

The walk to the hotel took 20 minutes despite their fast pace but not a single word was spoken for the entire walk. Same thing with the ride to the hospital. They took Bill’s car and it took 20 minutes for them to get there, not a single word, not even the radio was on.

When they arrived Richie suddenly got a surge of energy and practically threw himself out of the car, but it seemed like his legs weren’t prepared for him to start running so he stumbled before quickly picking himself up as he hurried into the waiting room. The other three followed close behind. Richie quickly scanned the room before his eyes fell on Mike, alone. Why was he alone?!

“Where’s Eddie and (Y/N)?! Mike?!” Mike shot up from his seat “Oh thank god you’re all finally here. Eddie’s in surgery and (Y/N) operating on him. I’m glad I don’t have to worry all alone anymore.” he sighed and rubbed his neck. Richie was about to ask when they were done as Mike started talking again “They didn’t know how long the surgery would take.. They said everything from 2 hours to 9…” Mikes looked down again. The losers collectively sighed, this was going to be a long couple of hours.

After three hours Bev, Ben and Bill had gone back to the hotel and showered and gotten their things and Mike had gone back to his house and freshened up. Richie however had not moved out of his seat, no matter how hard Bev had tried to get him to move or to go back and at least freshen up or try to get some sleep, he had not moved, he hadn’t even replied. He had just stared blankly at the floor, desperately trying to ground himself, desperately trying to find even just a sliver of hope that Eddie would be okay. He didn’t even care that he had dirt and blood all over him-

Oh no.. That blood. That was Eddie’s blood. No, no, no! He shot up from his seat and woke Beverly which had been sleeping against Ben’s shoulder. He looked around and saw that all the other losers were sleeping, well, not Bev anymore but everyone else was locked in a peaceful slumber, it angered him to his core.

Bev put a hand on his shoulder before he could say anything “Let’s get you cleaned up and changed, yeah?” He nodded in response and Bev drove them both back to the hotel. They made a quick stop at the library where both Richie’s car and things were located. They agreed that Richie would go to the hotel and freshen up while Bev drove back to the hospital and updated him on what was happening.

When Richie arrived at the hotel he walked in and grabbed a key from the still empty reception and walked into a room. He threw all of the clothes he was currently wearing straight into the trash can in the room, he couldn’t keep them, he just couldn’t. They would only remind him of the worst day of his life, plus he would probably never get those blood stains out.

He took off his glasses, they were cracked. Great, and the cracks were filled with blood. Even better.. He thoroughly cleaned the glasses until every single drop of blood and dirt were gone. He then stepped into the shower and turned on the water, he waited for it to turn warm before stepping under the showerhead. His mind drifted as the pleasantly warm water washed away the blood and filth off of his body. Several memories flashed before him

-

The losers usually hung out in the clubhouse that Ben had built for them and today was no different. Ben was hammering some more nails into one of the supporting pillars as Bev watched him with amused interest, Mike and Bill was leaning over one of Stan’s shoulders each, looking at the book about birds Stan had brought as he talked about each bird with great precision and adoration. Eddie and Richie were fighting over the hangmat as usual when suddenly (Y/N) came tripping down the stairs, hair filled with leaves and branches, clothes covered in several spots of mud and nose bleeding heavily.

The losers’ eyes all snapped to her as her eyes stared right back, wild and mischievous. She was breathing heavily, trying to mumble some incoherent sentence, flailing her arms around like crazy.

Bev was the first one to step forward towards (Y/N) and as fast as she came close, (Y/N)’s legs quivered and gave up under her. She fell to her knees and the rest of the losers sprung into action, nails, birds and hungmats long forgotten.

“Eds gimme your fucking inhaler..” (Y/N) got out between ragged breaths “but you don’t have asthma..?” he said, unsure as he held out the inhaler in her direction, she snatched it from his hand and took a puff “does it really look like I give a fuck?” she shot back and threw the inhaler back at him, it hit his face and Richie burst out into hysterical laughter. He wiped tears away as Eddie hit him continuously to try and get him to stop.

“I- I hit one of them Bower fuckers in the dick!” (Y/N) finally got out “and he hit me right back! In the face!” she burst into laughter “and then- and then, I hit him again, in his face! Oh and then I ran! God, I don’t think I’ve ever run that fast and lord, they are slow!” She laughed even harder, falling back, gasping for air as the rest of the losers stared at her, all of their eyes filled with panic. “Oh c’mon!” she rolled her eyes “It’s funny!” But the others stayed silent.

(Y/N) looked at all of them but her smile didn’t falter, instead she wiped away the blood from her nose and walked further into the club house and laid down right in the hangmat that Eddie and Richie so desperately had fought about mere minutes ago, both of them sprung into action but realized they were already to late so they both just laid down on top of her and a new fight ensued.

Richie and Eddie hung their bodies over the hangmat, on top of (Y/N) as she tried to wiggle out from underneath them. Ben tried to warn them “You can’t all hang on it! It’s gonna break-”

And it broke.

(Y/N) let out a loud OOF as the hangmat hit the ground with her first and Richie and Eddie landing directly on top of her. They were all quiet for a second, none of the others daring to move in fear of any of the three being hurt when suddenly the three on the ground started laughing.

“I’m gonna have to fix that, damn it..” Ben whispered to himself as the others started chuckling too.

-

Richie smiled at the memory of their young selves. Suddenly something hit him. All the losers’ eyes had stayed the same. Mike’s eyes were kind, Bill’s eyes were determined, Bev’s eyes were confident, Ben’s eyes were shy, Eddie’s eyes were constantly annoyed but at the same time worried, he wasn’t sure about his own eyes but (Y/N).. Her eyes had changed.. They were always wild and at the same time caring. He had seen her eyes getting replaced with a deep sort of sorrow when Lily died but she had regained the wildness after they fought Pennywise the first time.

But now, they were completely different. Sure they were still caring but that wildness was gone, that fire was gone. It was like someone had slowly but surely erased it from her eyes, from her soul, shooting her down time and time again until it was completely gone. Did it have anything to do with her fiancé? Was that why she had reacted the way she did when they asked about him during the dinner? That made him so unexplainably mad and- and.. What was that feeling in the pit of his stomach? Jealousy? No, of course not. It just made him mad, yeah, that’s what it was. Anger. He thought back to the moment he met her again for the first time after 27 years.

-

He was just about to head to the reception to get his key as he passed a familiar face. He turned around to see her do the same. They stared at each other for a good minute for throwing themselves at the other. He was sure her eyes had been just as wild as they once had been when she looked at him but when they finally let go of one another it was gone and instead replaced with a sort of muted calmness.

-

“Fuck” he breathed out as he shampoed his hair and lathered up his body, scrubbing until everything that had clung to him in that cave had washed away.

He finally stepped out of the shower and dried himself off. He stepped out of the bathroom, hair still damp and dripping slightly. He reached for his phone and checked it but nothing new, no news for Bev. He tossed his phone on the bed and laid back on it, relaxing after the long hours at the hospital. He was so exhausted that he didn’t even notice when he fell asleep.

He saw Eddie, he was standing in front of him. He opened his arms, signaling for a hug but when Richie stepped forward a claw went through Eddie’s chest. Blood started running out of his nose and mouth and soon it ran from his eyes, it pooled at the ground filling the floor they stood on “Why didn’t you save me Rich?”

Richie flew off the bed and breathed heavily, he dry heaved a few times as he tried to recover. “it was just a dream, it was just a dream, it was just a dream-” He repeated to himself as his phone buzzed. Shit, how long had he slept for? He grabbed his phone frantically and checked the time. He has slept for 5 hours. Fuck. But at least it seemed like nothing had happened, he only had two messages from Bev.

Beverly: 4 hours ago “Are you okay? Did you take my advice and got some sleep?”

Beverly: 1 hour ago “ nothing new so far, we’re all catching some sleep down here too. Text me when you wake up.”

He quickly typed back to her: “Accidentally fell asleep, be down in 30 mins”

He grabbed the clothes at the top of the pile he had created while stuffing his suitcase. He pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a hawaiian shirt. He pulled a hoodie over it as well and closed his suitcase and practically ran out the door. He tossed the keys he had taken from the reception at the, still empty, desk and walked towards his car in a hurried pace.

Richie was desperate for some kind of news, if he had to force it out of some poor nurse, he would. He had to know what was going on, not just if it was going on, if it was going well or not. He stepped on the gas and tried to clear his head. It was going well right? It had to be going well. He couldn’t lose Eddie, he just couldn’t.

Richie parked as close as he could to the hospital and ran out of his car, his thoughts had grown more and more panicked as he had driven, he pushed the doors open and was met with the rest of the losers sleeping peacefully on a chair each. Bev was leaning on Ben and Mike was leaning against Bill which was leaning right back against Mike. He would’ve taken a picture if he wasn’t so stressed. His head snapped in the direction of the sound of a door opening. A nurse stepped out from the operation department, she cleared her throat slightly and the losers stirred awake.

“We’re having some complications. He’s losing a lot of blood we can’t afford to let him lose. We’re nearing the end of the surgery but we’re having a hard time due to the fact that we have to close him up both in the front and the back. Right now his condition is getting worse, so I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ask you to expect bad news. Nothing is certain though, thank you for your patience.” The nurse retreated back to the door she had entered through barely a minute ago.

Richie flopped into a seat a few chairs away from the others. They all stared blankly ahead of them, there were no words to describe the thoughts and feelings that were running through all of their heads at the moment.

30 minutes passed. Not a single word had been spoken since the nurse left.

30 more minutes passed and Beverly finally spoke up

“He’s gonna be okay. This is Eddie we’re talking about, he’s gonna pull through. I know he will” Her voice growing weaker by every word until it was barely above a whisper. Ben put an arm around her and patted her shoulder in comfort.

They all said how strong Eddie was and Richie could feel anger start to boil in the pit of his chest.

Mike sighed “(Y/N) won’t let him die, she’s too stubborn for that” Ben chuckled at the memory of getting patched up by her when Bowers cut him up.

“Oh like this is on (Y/N)” Richie grunted you himself “what was that Rich?” Beverly reluctantly asked.

“I said, Are you saying that This is on (Y/N)? Cause it’s not!” Richie’s mind went blank, he didn’t even know what he was saying at this point, he just knew he was angry. “This is on you!” He pointed at Mike “you lied to us on why we had to come here, you lied to us about the ritual, you lied to us time and time again and said it’s because we didn’t believe so when Eddie finally actually believed in himself, he got a fucking claw through his chest!! They had to remove a whole lung damn it!!”

“Richie-“ Bill stood up to try and calm him down but Richie was quick to cut him off “and you!” He now pointed at Bill instead “you’re the whole reason we’re in this shit to begin with! You and your stupid obsession about finding your brother, you were so convinced that he was alive that you were willing to drag us down with you, which, by the way, you literally did!!” Richie was about to continue when he got cut off.

“What are you doing?” (Y/N)‘a voice cut through them all like a knife. Her eyes were puffy and red from probably crying, the eyebags under her eyes were more visible than before but she didn’t look sad, she looked terrified. “Why are you fighting? This is no one’s fault. This is not something one of us has to take the blame for, don’t ever say that Richie.” Her eyes went from scared to serious quickly and the losers fell silent.

“(Y/N)...” Richie breathed

“He’s stable. We had to remove one of his lungs and he lost a fuck-ton of blood, but… he’s going to be okay, if the recovery process is done correctly.” She smiled weakly and the losers collectively let out a breath none of them knew they were holding. (Y/N) brought her hand up to scold them for being in the hospital instead of resting at the hotel but just as she opened her mouth her eyes rolled up into her head and she collapsed on the floor.

Chapter Text

Before any of the other losers as much as reacted, Richie was by her side. He held her head in his lap yelling for a nurse, any nurse to tell him what was wrong. Several nurses came rushing out of the operation room, they brought out a stretcher and put (Y/N) on it, they carried her out of the waiting room and forbade any of the losers to enter until further notice.

After around 15 minutes one of the nurses that had carried (Y/N) out came out again. All five heads that were seated in the waiting room snapped up and stared at her.

“She just came out of almost 10 hours of surgery and from what I’ve heard from all of you, it seems like she hasn’t slept for over 30 hours so it’s really a wonder she managed to operate on Mr. Kaspbrak.” The nurse smiled at them “She’s gonna be just fine besides some bruises and cuts. She just needs a little bit of sleep.” The nurse walked out yet again.

”Maybe we should get back and get some sleep?” Beverly said carefully ”there’s nothing we can do for either of them and I know (Y/N) was about to scold us for being here instead of sleeping in actual beds.” The losers chuckled to themselves, they knew Bev was right.

Richie was the first to speak up “I got some sleep earlier when I went back and freshened up, you all go ahead. I’ll call if anything changes but it seems like it’ll be okay for now right?” The others nodded and started walking out before Richie once again spoke up, stopping them in their step. “I’m sorry. For freaking out like that. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that shit, it’s not any of your faults…” he looked down in shame.

Bill stepped forward and put his hands on Richie’s shoulder “we get it, if anyone, it’s us who actually do get it.” They smiled at each other for a moment before Bill turned around and headed out with the others back to the hotel.

Richie fell in and out of sleep as he watched the clock tick away. Finally he felt tapping on his shoulder.

“I’m afraid Mr. Kaspbrak is still in no condition to have visitors but if you want we can let you into Dr. (Y/L/N)’s room. She’s still sleeping and will probably continue to do so for quite some time, but.. I can let you into her room, just don’t disturb her.” The nurse smiled kindly at him “she needs the sleep but I also think she needs you when she wakes up” She continued. Richie simply nodded eagerly and followed her into the room where (Y/N) was.

Richie didn’t look at (Y/N) until the nurse had closed the door behind her but when he did tears started welling in his eyes. He wasn’t even sure why but he barely made it to the chair the nurse had set up for him beside (Y/N)’s bed before his legs buckled beneath him. He leaned forward towards the bed and took one of her hands softly and carefully into one of his own. He wiped at his eyes with the free hand as more and more tears blurred his vision. She had been so strong. For Eddie, for all of them.

After a couple minutes the tears and snot eventually came to a stop. Both Richie’s eyes and nose were red and puffy but he was still holding her hand and now when there were no longer tears obscuring his vision, he could finally take a proper look at her. She looked so peaceful but still so exhausted. He hadn’t seen her like this since their last sleepover sometime well over 27 years ago. She had changed so much and yet so little, he couldn’t wait to get to know her all over again and now with Pennywise gone; they had all the time in the world.

After a long while of simply staring at her in content Richie could feel his eyelids begin to droop until he finally leaned towards (Y/N)’s thigh and they shut completely along with his whole body going limp from sleep.

Richie awoke slowly by the feeling of his scalp getting scratched. The feeling of soft, careful fingers running through his hair, untangling any knots they could find. He could’ve almost fallen back asleep from the wonderful sensation when he suddenly realized that the only person who could be doing it was the person he was waiting for to wake up. He shot up and the body next to him jumped in surprise.

“Oh, you’re awake” (Y/N) sighed and smiled. She smacked him on the head “you scared the life out of me-” but she could barely finish before Richie jumped up on the hospital bed, throwing his arms around her and burying his head in the crook of her neck. He breathed her in as if he’d been holding his breath since she passed out. At first she was completely tensed up but after a second of processing what was happening, she started to relax until she finally hugged him back. She leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

“How's your back doing after that sleeping position old man?” She joked, he mumbled something into her neck “yeah I absolutely did not hear a word of that” she scoffed, he looked up at her and smiled. It felt like he was looking right into her soul and she couldn’t help but blush. She hoped he hadn’t noticed.

“Honestly I can’t think of anything but the fact that you and Eddie are okay” He spoke softly, now (Y/N)’s blush was definitely noticeable, he chuckled and buried his head in the crook of her neck again. She shuffled slightly underneath him and he rolled slightly to the side so that he was pressing into her side instead. The hospital bed was small but they had shared a bed before, why was it so different now? Sure, they were 40 instead of 13 but the feeling was different, not strange, not unwelcomed, just different… They both fell asleep once again, this time in each other's arms.

Richie slowly but sure woke up. His head was resting on something soft, his glasses had been removed and he felt incredibly well rested. Then he remembered… (Y/N).. oh fuck he was resting on her chest, oh shit.. He felt a hot blush rush to his cheeks, spreading over his ears and down to his neck, what was he? A 13 year old boy? ‘Jeez Rich, calm down’ he thought to himself when he realized his head was shaking ever so slightly, or rather, what his head was resting on was shaking ever so slightly. (Y/N)’s chest. He could also hear soft sniffles, almost unnoticeable but they were there,he was sure of it.

He looked up and the body next to him stiffened and turned away so that he wouldn’t be able to see their face “(Y/N)?” he breathed, she didn't answer. He tried again “What’s wrong (Y/N)?”

“I’m just.. I’m so weak..” She finally turned around, tears running down her face and snot doing the same, she tried wiping it away but it just got replaced by new tears and snot. Richie was speechless, he had no idea what to do.

“what?” he breathed. She was the strongest person he knew, how could she ever think that she was weak? But his thoughts were cut short when she opened her mouth to speak again “I couldn’t even save both his lungs Rich, his recovery process will be hell and it’s all because of me…” she buried her face in her hands again as her shoulders shook more violently. Richie gripped her face with both hands and made her look at him, the surprise stopped her crying temporarily.

“Wow wow wow hold on a fucking second. Are you fucking kidding me?” Her eyes were wide and filled with utter confusion. “You’re the strongest person I know. Seriously.” He could tell she was going to object but he continued before she could begin protesting “So not only did you leave your asshole fiancé-”

“Don’t call him that” she caught him off guard with the comment and at first he thought she was joking but her eyes were absolutely serious.

“(Y/N)..” He began “I saw the fear in your eyes when you were asked about him during dinner” and once again she opened her mouth to protest but he was faster “I don’t care if it’s what I think it is.. No one should have to fear their partner (Y/N), ever.” She shut her mouth again and he continued. “Anyways, after leaving your horrible fiancé who doesn’t deserve you-”

“Rich.” she cut him off again.

He groaned but continued “UGH, fine! After leaving your ‘wonderful’ finacé-” she chuckled slightly at his tone “-you came all the way to your forgotten childhood home to meet some weirdos you haven’t met in 27 years only to be reminded of your childhood trauma and be told to actively seek for the very same childhood trauma just to get a freaking token so you can fight said childhood trauma” He was gesturing wildly with his hands as he was talking, making (Y/N) smile in adoration. “oh yeah and when we tried chucking the tokens in a burning urn to kill the damn clown, it didn’t even work so we had to fight a giant spider clown on top of it all and relieve even more of our worst parts of our childhood, all in a wierd cave that makes your blood flow upwards like what the fuck was up with that?” (Y/N) stifled laughter but grew stiff when Richie stopped gesturing and turned serious. “and when no one knew what to do, you acted quickly enough to save Eddie from bleeding out and then you took charge and got him to a hospital and then you saved one of his lungs. Without you neither of his lungs would’ve been saved, without you he would’ve been d-” Richie cut himself off this time but the word he was going to say hung heavy in the air. “You did all that shit AND operated on one of your best friends for like 10 hours, that’s not weak (Y/N). It really isn’t.”

“Thank you”

“Oh don’t worry, I’m crediting myself too since I did all of that minus saving Eds” Richie shrugged and patted her shoulder, she wasn't crying anymore “Eddie is seriously gonna owe you for life after this” he continued, she snorted.

“No seriously you could totally make him your personal slave or something” (Y/N) burst out in laughter and Richie smiled triumphantly before standing up. He stretched and groaned at the tension leaving his body.

“Hey, I’m gonna get some breakfast. What do you want?”

(Y/N) looked to the side and thought for a second “Coffee would be nice, and anything edible to be honest. I’m starving!” They both chuckled and Richie started walking out of the room before turning around and tipping an imaginary hat speaking in a very bad british accent “coming right up madam”. (Y/N) scoffed and he shuffled out of the room.

Richie went down to the reception and asked about where to buy food, and apparently there was a small convenience store about 5 minutes of walking distance from the hospital but the receptionist also informed him that there was a coffee machine right here in the hospital in the waiting room. He walked down to the convenience store and found two pretty decent sized sandwiches, he returned and made two cups of coffee with the help of the coffee machine in the waiting room.

There was a sort of glee in his step, all of the losers were okay, (Y/N) was awake and well and Eddie was expected to make a full recovery. He walked towards (Y/N)’s room and just as he was about to enter he stopped mid-step. He heard arguing from inside the room but since there were no windows, he could not see who the voices belonged to. One was obviously (Y/N), she sounded distressed yet pleading at the same time. The other voice however, he didn’t recognize it at all.

He pushed the door open and was met with (Y/N) looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights and a tall, built man who formerly stood towering over (Y/N) looking very threatening, who was now turning around slowly to face Richie. He did not look happy.

His voice was low and rough and it cut through the silence Richie had created when he opened the door. The man finally opened his mouth and spoke, (Y/N) looking almost as worried as she had when she had jumped into the car to get Eddie to the hospital.

“Who the hell are you?”

Chapter Text

Hey everybody!
I know it’s been a really long time since I updated this story and I’m terribly sorry about that. :(
But!!! I have not given up on this story and I’m working on it continuously when I have time! I have a lot of planned events that I think you’ll really love :)

However, the reason I haven’t written is school. It’s really been killing me but I’m soon graduating!! It’s been almost three years since I started this story so I just want to show my gratitude towards those who have been so patient, those who have commented such wonderful things, those who have given me kudos and motivation to continue this story.

In just three weeks I’ll be out of school and finally I’ll have time to write again! My goal is to post the next chapter by June 13!

Thank you all so much for reading this story and for having such incredible patience and positivity! <3

Chapter Text

She sat back on the hospital bed and sighed in content. She watched Richie disappear as he made his way to get whatever breakfast he could get his hands on. She flopped down on her back and stared up into the ceiling. She could still feel Richie resting his head on her chest, she could still smell his shampoo, she could still feel his scruffy yet soft hair between her fingers. A distant feeling blossomed in the pit of her stomach and a blush rose to her cheeks, she buried her face in her hands to try and rid her mind. Richie was a good friend, a great friend, probably one of her best friends yet she was sure of the fact that this wasn’t a feeling you would feel for your friend, even if it was your best friend. Her thoughts came to an abrupt stop however when she heard the soft click of the door opening.

“Rich-“ she began but the air hitched in her throat

“You were getting real cozy with him huh?” A low and rough voice cut through her entire being. She felt a violent shiver running down her spine

“Karl.”

They stared at each other for a long moment. Karl started moving forward slowly. With each step that he inched closer, she inched backwards, desperately trying to get somewhere except the lone hospital bed behind her.

“I can explain-” She tried but he raised his hand in a motion for her to be silent “No.” he stated without any emotion, he broke eye contact and looked down onto the floor.

“I’m deeply, deeply disappointed in you.” He sighed loudly “Not only did you disobey my direct request to not go here in the first place but you also ignored my text and calls, stayed over night without me knowing where and you got hurt!” He finally looked back up, there was actually a kind of worry in his eyes. He inched closer, she felt a kind of relief wash over her when she felt his breath on her face.

She, however, didn’t dare to look at him but he softly held her face in his hands and guided her eyes to meet his. There was a kind of unbelievable softness and worry in his eyes that she hadn’t seen in a very long time. “I was so mad at first but when I calmed down all I felt was worry. I was so worried (Y/N)..” His voice was barely over a whisper now. He guided her face towards his and she let herself relax when her lips met his so familiar ones. She reached her hand towards the one that was holding her face and as he let her face go he met her hand and their fingers intertwined.

Unfortunately these perfect, peaceful moments never last forever. Their soft kiss broke and Karl turned around and started pacing slightly. “I wish we could continue this but we need to go.” (Y/N) tried to open her mouth but he began once again “And I need to know who that man you were cuddling with was, so I can find him and kill him for putting his hands on you” for being a police officer he sure was violent.

“Karl. He’s my friend, you’re not killing him or any of my friends. Okay?” he turned around and she flinched when he charged towards her. He took her face in his hands again and rested his forehead towards hers.

“Yeah, okay but we have to go back. Your mother is visiting and I’ve already used every excuse in the book to calm her down. We have to go back” He let her face go yet again but stayed close, looming above her. “Now.”

“No.”

They both seemed equally surprised by her statement but she grew bolder

“No!” She stood up and forced Karl backwards “Seriously! My mom pops in out of nowhere here and there just to tell me about some new diet or fasting or just to tell me to lose some weight for the wedding. I just performed a life-threatening surgery on my childhood friend! I’m not about to take my things and leave without a word just to hear my mom complain about me to my face.” She looked down at her hands and then back up at Karl “I work my ass off and every time she comes over all she does is tell me I’m lazy! So no. I won’t go back.” She stood her grounds. Karl looked down and shook his head, he exhaled through his nose as if he was laughing and then he was, he was laughing.

“How long have you known these people? I mean, it couldn’t have been long since you’ve literally never mentioned them.” He had stopped laughing and now it was his time to push (Y/N) back “Your mother says these things out of love! And how many times have you talked about being insecure? Huh? She says it because she wants you to look your best during the wedding, so that you can look back on it and feel pretty-”

“And how many times have you disagreed? Huh?” She almost shouted at him at this point “Every time I feel even the slightest bit insecure, all you do is agree and tell me to change it and everytime my mother says something you agree with her! Have you ever thought about the fact that it could’ve made everything worse? That if you would've just told me that you actually love all those things I see as bad during my bad days, then I would’ve started loving them too?” Tears were rolling down her cheeks now. “It’s not your job to make me feel better but you didn’t have to make me feel worse.” She wiped the tears away and sat down on the hospital bed again.

When she looked up she flinched, Karl was towering over her, looking threatening as ever “How are these random people more important than me? Your fiance? Than your mother? How come you have such an attitude nowadays and how come I’ve never heard about these people?”

“You don’t understand, they were my best friends and I think that might still be true but when I moved out of here, I forgot. It’s this town, It’s like it makes you forget about it, about the people and about the horrors.”

“Oh bullshit. We’re going and that’s final!” But she stood her ground. However when he came towards her with that anger in his eyes, her voice got smaller and her demands turned to pleas.

“Karl, please. You would never make me leave one of my patients and I’m the lead surgeon, how is this different? How will he survive if I leave? The others know nothing and this hospital isn’t exactly state of the art. These people are my friends, I can’t just let one of them die! I-”

He cut her off “It’s different because I say it’s different, and wouldn’t you just forget about them if you left, like last time? So no hard feelings right? No guilt needed if you’re just going to forget, right?” She knew he was mocking her but to be honest, she didn’t know if she would forget them like last time, she thought Pennywise was dead but maybe they had been wrong, like last time. Maybe she would forget again, maybe Eddie would die and she wouldn’t even know, she wouldn’t even remember him, she-

The door opened. She met Richie’s eyes and he looked as surprised as she felt.

“Who the hell are you?”

“I’m Richie Tozier” He tried to sound confident but he probably just came off as goofy, like always.

Karl eyed him suspiciously “and?” he was clearly sceptical of this clown called Richie Tozier. Not only because of his name, but also because soon enough he realized that this clown had been in the same bed as his fiance just 15 minutes ago. He started walking against Richie when he felt a hand on his wrist.

“I’ll come with you” (Y/N) looked at him like nothing else mattered “I’ll tell Richie the specifics with Eddie, what he needs, what he should do to get better, everything. Go to the car, I’ll tell him what he has to know to be able to take care of Ed- my patient.” She sounded exhausted and worried and terrified all at the same time. Richie couldn’t believe his ears, (Y/N) was leaving?

Karl eyed them both suspiciously but soon realized the fear of him leaving her was stronger than the love for her so called friends. She would come home. He nodded at (Y/N) and without a word left for the car.

Richie looked at (Y/N) in disbelief.

“You’re leaving?” his jaw was slack, he could almost not muster up enough energy to say anything at all. His eyes were wide, staring at her.

“I’m sorry” She didn’t meet his eyes. She walked to the other side of the room and ripped a piece of paper out of a journal that she had in her bag. She fished out a pen and started scribbling something down. Soon she handed the note to him. She still didn’t meet his eyes.

“That’s the important stuff, just-” her voice broke “just show the others when they arrive. If anyone can make Eddie recover it’s you guys” she stepped out of the room. Richie grabbed her wrist and forced her to turn towards him but she still refused to lock eyes.

“No! If anyone could make Eddie recover from this it’s you!” Richie just now realized the tears running down his face “You’re leaving? Just like that? Cause your fiancé said so? I thought you were stronger than that.” He let the tears roll down his cheeks as he let her wrist go, she finally looked at him.

“It’s not that simple, Rich.” she breathed. She wiped away the tears and while all he wanted to do was shove her hands off of him, to throw a fit, her hands were soft and warm and too comforting to willingly shove away. She leaned forward and hugged him before he could react and then she was gone. Perhaps forever.

The tears started falling again. What the hell was he supposed to tell the losers?

Chapter Text

They were sitting in the car in silence. The car started rolling out of the parking lot. (Y/N) kept her composure as best as she could, leaning her forehead against the window. She bit her lip as hard as she could and needed to hold back the tears constantly threatening to fall. She had been holding the back since she left Richie, god knows she was barely able to get her legs to leave the building.

Just as they were driving past the entrance the doors sprung open and Richie burst out. There were tears streaming down his face with no intention to stop and kind of a gross amount of snot trying to get wiped off with his sleeve. That was the breaking point. (Y/N), without thinking, gasped as her hands flew up to connect with the car window with a bang. Tears was now running down her face and soon her sleeve would be snot covered too. Richie and (Y/N) looked at each other as if they would never see the other ever again, this was goodbye. What felt like an eternity of heartbreak was in reality just a couple of seconds as Karl noticeably sped up as a last effort to separate his fiancée from her so called childhood friends. Richie was soon out of sight and (Y/N) made a last effort not to let out the sobs threatening to rack her whole body, she was trying to to get herself to stop crying while at the same time trying to wipe the tears and snot away without her fiancé noticing, but they both knew that he already knew she was crying and had been since the left the hospital.

After about an hour she had finally stopped crying, not because she wasn’t sad anymore but because she was pretty sure there were no more tears inside her body. Her head pulsated, her throat ached, heart nose was red and hurt from wiping it, her eyes were swollen and it hurt to blink but worst of all was her chest. It was on the inside, heart break, the losers being ripped away from her once again. It hurt more to leave them than anything Karl had ever said or done to her. Maybe this wasn’t for the best after all…

A few more agonizing hours of complete silence except for the low volume on the radio, they were finally closing in on their destination. Home. If you could even call it that anymore. She felt no love for that place anymore, nor for the person living there with her. As she thought of it, she sort of caught herself, did she really not love Karl anymore? And she thought of it even harder and came to two conclusions. 1. She did in fact not love Karl anymore and 2. She still remembered The losers and Derry. She could almost jump out of happiness, until she looked up to see who was waiting by the door.

Her mother.

“(Y/N).” She said as a soft smile settled on her lips “I’m so glad you’re okay!” She made her way from the door to (Y/N) and hugged her tightly. It felt strange, her mother had not hugged her in a very long time. She wondered what Karl had told her.

“Let’s head inside” Karl announced, his voice always grew softer around her mother, as if not to raise suspicion about him or his behavior. (Y/N) had never really thought about it before, blinded by her mother’s love for him and blinded by her own, or when she thought about it the love she had felt for Karl had stemmed from her mother and her mother alone. It was her mother who had introduced them, her mother’s kind words about him that had convinced (Y/N) to meet him in the first place and her mother’s belief that he was (Y/N)’s only chance at a happy ending. ‘A big strong man who’ll take care of you’ and ‘he’s the best chance you have. He’s attractive, hard working, strong, and he likes you against all odds.” That’s what she had said and (Y/N) had been convinced. Now she realized that it just had been the last straw of years of abusive behavior from her mother, years of this obsession that if you’re a big woman you have to be with someone bigger in order to feel small, to feel like a woman, years of convincing both of them that big people had few to no chances in love when in reality, (Y/N) now realized, is just fucking bullshit.

Karl and her mother had entered the house but at this point, these realizations had made her blood boil.

“I’m going for a run” she loudly announced, walking straight to the bedroom to change into training clothes. She may have hated running but she hated being trapped with her mother and her fiancé more.

“No. You’re just gonna run away again-“ Karl tried but (Y/N) interrupted

“I’ll be gone an hour tops. You always tell me to lose weight anyways, so you should be happy” she tied her shoes and stormed out “fucking asshole” she whispered once she was outside.

Wow. Meeting the losers again and killing pennywise had really been an eye opener, huh? She thought she was strong before that whole ordeal but when she looked at the progress she could now see that submitting to that asshole fiancé of hers was not strength. She thought about Richie. Him being taken away from her, Eddie being taken away from her, all of the losers being ripped out of her life because of Karl had hit a nerve, it had broken, no, shattered her patience for both Karl and her mother.

She didn’t realize how far she had managed to run until she was ripped from her thoughts when she saw a big billboard. She stopped dead in her tracks and stared at it for a few long seconds. It was Richie. A promotional billboard for his new special. She felt that heavy feeling of anxiety creeping up her chest, she suddenly felt dizzy and stumbled back. Before she could catch herself, she stumbled into another person. She whipped her head around

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to” her head started to overflow with excuses and apologies.

“It’s okay-“ the woman she backed into tried to assure.

“No you don’t understand I’m really sorry, it's just that I got really surprised from seeing that poster cause you see i know that guy, or know and know, he was my best friend, or one of them, as a kid and i met him again for the first time in 27 years like two days ago and now I’m back home and he’s - he’s there and… I left him. I left him there.. When he needed me most and he probably doesn't know what to say or do and what if Myra takes Eddie home before he's ready what if I never get to see him again cause Myra locks him in the house forever like his mom did when he broke his arm and richie will probably never want to talk to me again after this and-“ She hadn’t noticed but she was hyperventilating at this point, tears far past threatening to fall, rolling down her cheeks.

“Wow, okay. Ummm..” the woman clearly struggled with what she was gonna say. ”Just try to breath okay” She brought her hand up towards (Y/N)‘s face.

(Y/N) flinched. The woman’s posture shifted as if she immediately understood her situation. She guided (Y/N) to sit down “breathe with me.” She said and they sat there until (Y/N)‘s breaths synchronized with the woman’s and the tears stopped blurring her vision.

“Do you need anything?” The woman finally asked, her voice was soft and calm and everything she needed.

“No, thank you. I think I’ve finally realized what’s important, what should be prioritized and what I should be fighting for.” She took a deep breath and stood up. She looked at the billboard, thanked the woman dearly and started running.

“I’m coming losers, please wait for me” she whispered over and over to herself

She got home and jumped straight into the shower. She washed herself off for real for the first time since pennywise. The water almost ran dark as she rinsed herself off all the mud and dirt and blood that was left after only really washing and disinfecting her face and hands with the utmost haste. She went to shave her legs but stopped herself. It was Karl that liked shaved legs but he didn’t matter anymore. She shut the water off and dried herself off. The towel was soft and grounding. She focused on what she was going to say, how she was going to say it. She knew it wouldn’t be easy but it would be worth it.

She walked from the bathroom to the bedroom and locked the bedroom door behind her. She threw everything of importance that she could fit into the biggest travel bag she could find and packed. She had brought things in from the bathroom and threw them in there too. She looked through her bedside table and drawer, she took a last look into the wardrobe and found a small bag at the very bottom. She took it out and stared at it for a few long seconds trying to remember what it could possibly contain. Eventually she opened the bag and looked at its content. It was a collection of small picture strips. She grabbed all of them and realized they were all pictures from the photo booth in the arcade. They were from various times and with various people in it. One was with only (Y/N) and Bev, one was with the whole group, one was with (Y/N), Eddie and Richie and when she was looking at it she could almost remember the moment. They were all giddy and couldn’t stop laughing. Eddie wasn’t very tall but Richie stood already towering over both the others smirking knowingly in one of the pictures. There were several more with different people and during different times. She could almost see them all age in the pictures, most of them were with all the losers but as the pictures got newer, more and more of them moved away and were therefore not in the pictures. Then she saw one of the last pictures, a picture with herself and Stan. It was just before she moved.

“Oh Stanley” she whispered to herself and held the picture to her chest. She didn’t understand how these memories had been lost to her, she didn’t understand how she hadn’t seen these pictures while packing up or maybe she did and just brushed them off.

Looking at these pictures gave her the courage to put the pictures in her bag, hide it underneath the bed in the meantime, get dressed and ready to leave and unlock the door. She stepped out.

“Karl we need to talk” she said, simple but demanding. Both her mother and Karl looked at her.

“Before you say anything, I read about this new diet-“ her mother began

“Mom, I don’t care about any diets! Please just stop.” (Y/N) interrupted but her mother continued to no avail.

“- no listen to me (Y/N), it’s supposed to be super good! I read about it on the internet!” She laughed quietly as if she was proud of herself “all you have to do is eat celery! It’s supposed to give you less calories than you get rid of while eating it!” She laughed once again “amazing right? You eat it and the calories are gone!” (Y/N) rolled her eyes

“And how am I supposed to have energy to do anything else? You know what, it doesn’t matter I’m not gonna do that bullshit anyways” both her mother and her fiancé gasped.

“Language!” Her mother exclaimed

“Just listen!” (Y/N) began. She looked at Karl and took a deep breath “I’m not happy here. I don’t think I’ve ever been happy here. I look around this house and see the memories we’ve made. The good ones are there but they get overshadowed by the bad. The times you’ve demanded things, the times you’ve yelled at me, the times you’ve shoved me into the walls, the times you’ve put your hands around my throat, the times you’ve ignored me, threatened me and the times I’ve forgotten and forgiven.”

“Oh please!” Karl began but (Y/N) continue before he could.

“-you claim we built this house together and we could’ve built something together if you were kind but you’re not. This was all built by you and my mother. This house, this relationship, this life! I’ve never even once done something for myself so now I will.” She took a deep breath “This is over. We’re done. I’m leaving.” She looked Karl right in the eyes, she could tell he was stunned.

“You’re not leaving.” He stated

“Yes I am and you can’t stop me.” She stated right back. “I’m going back to Derry, to Eddie mom!” She now turned to her mother.

“Edward Kaspbrak” her mother said in an almost dream-like state.

“I’m going to people that actually love me for who I am, so goodbye. Thank you for the good memories but mostly just fuck you.” She turned around and headed for the door. She was fully ready to be stopped by Karl but instead her mother was the one that did.

Her mom took a deep breath “You’re going back to Derry? Don’t! We both know how dangerous it is and those friends of yours was nothing but trouble-“

“Oh please mom, just shut up and eat your fucking celery” and with that (Y/N) turned around and walked out of the front door. She hadn’t ordered an Uber or booked any tickets but she was well on her way. She knew what she wanted and where she was going and nothing was going to stop her.

She had never felt so liberated before.

Chapter Text

(Y/N) never thought she would have to sneak into her own house, much less so with the reason being to get as far away from there as possible. She had packed a bag for the reason of stomping out, she had packed it so that she could run out of that god forsaken house and never ever have to look back, but, and it’s a big but, she had forgotten the bag. She had been so caught up in yelling at Karl, in yelling at her mom, in getting said what she always wanted to, in getting out that she had forgotten to grab it. Right now she had nothing which made everything so much harder. She was so mad at herself for forgetting the one thing she needed that she just couldn’t leave it alone.

Here she was again, in the middle of the night unlocking the front door as quietly as possible like a teenager trying not to wake up their parents after being out way past curfew. She almost felt a little silly, so what she went into the house after her big storm out, it was her house and they didn’t stop her before, they wouldn’t stop her now, right? She got the door opened and pumped her fist in the air silently to mark the feat. Hers and Karl’s bedroom was right next to the hall after the entrance, she got inside and gently dragged the travel bag out from underneath the bed. She opened it to ensure that Karl hadn’t found it and unpacked it. She pumped her fist yet again, it was just as full as when she had left it. Karl stirred in his sleep, she froze. She had almost forgotten that on top of the bed was Karl, the very man she wanted to avoid like the plague. She crawled out of the room and stood up, she was almost outside now, she could feel the wind blowing through the small creak of the open door. She could literally smell her freedom.

“(Y/N)” she heard a whisper and her head shot towards it. It was her mother. (Y/N) started backing up slowly, she was not about to be stopped by her mother. But she couldn’t even make it to the door before her mother spoke again.

“(Y/N), please. Don’t you think this is a bit stupid?” Her mother began, but without giving her a second more to speak (Y/N) turned around and headed straight for the door but her mother stopped her once more “(Y/N) (Y/L/N)!” Her mother said, louder than before “I understand you want to save your friends and to be honest I’m just trying to figure out how I could’ve ever forgotten about Edward and Myra but that’s beside the point. You have a life here, a man that loves you and who’s willing to marry you. He’s strong and he works hard. He’ll give you a good life and strong children, isn’t that enough?” Her mother stepped forward against her and reached out her hand “stay (Y/N).” She breathed, her voice was back to a whisper.

“No.” (Y/N) sighed and rubbed her eyes, she was so tired. “Look, mom. I’ve spent my whole life trying to impress you. With how I walk, how I talk, how I dress, with my posture, my manners, my studies, my work but it’s never enough for you. There’s always something that I can do better, always something more I can do. I understand that you think this life is something sought after but I’m currently with a man I don’t love, in a house I loathe, stuck in a life I can’t live! I have no friends because of Karl and I had no life before because of you. It’s like you passed me down from one controlling maniac to another.” (Y/N) took a deep breath and opened the door fully, cold air blowing on her face. “I’ve spent my entire life thinking how you treated me was equal to love but back in Derry, for just a small sliver of my life, the losers showed me what real love was and that made you take me and move out of there and I forgot. I went back to thinking this was love.” (Y/N) gestured up and down with her hands as to show the house. “I went back. I met the losers again. They reminded me of what love is actually supposed to feel like and this time, although Karl took me away like you did when I was little, I remember.” She finally turned around to face her mother “Your love was always conditional. My friends’ aren’t. That’s the difference, that’s why I want to be with them. Goodbye mom.” She stepped out and slammed the door before her mother could get another word in, not caring if Karl heard it or not. She had her things, at least the most important ones. She called an Uber and left for the train station. She practically jumped onto the first train she could that went anywhere near the hospital she had been dragged out of. She had only been gone a couple hours. From yesterday afternoon to today night, she would be there by morning if everything ran smoothly. All she could do was pray that Richie would forgive her when she came back.

-

Richie realized far too late what the last thing he had said to (Y/N) was. “I thought you were stronger than that” echoed in his mind over and over again. God, how stupid was he. He had just convinced her that she wasn’t weak and just because he was angry at her fiancé (not even at her!!) he backtracked, just like that. Even if she came back, she’d hate him. He felt so stupid standing outside of the hospital, tears streaming down his face and snot covering his sleeve from trying to endlessly wipe it from his nose. He was going a little crazy out there, staring out into the direction (Y/N)‘s car disappeared in like it was going to come back if he only stared hard enough. It didn’t of course but he sure tried to make it come back.

Richie went back inside, he passed a few nurses who looked at him worriedly but he just kept walking. He reached (Y/N)‘s room and laid down. The hospital bed was cold and uncomfortable without her. It still smelled like her and Richie couldn’t help but lay back, clutching the note she gave him only wishing it was her hand instead. Richie woke up to someone shaking him carefully to try and wake him up, he turned around hopeful but his shoulders slumped when he was met with Bev’s face. She noticed.

“Wow, sorry big guy it’s only one of your best friends” she joked, he chuckled slightly before he buried his face in his hands. “I’m sorry” he whispered.

“For what?” Bev replied, confused. “Where’s (Y/N) by the way?” Richie wanted to sink through the floor and die ”she left..” he spat out weakly.

“What do you mean she left-” Bev began as Bill opened the door “Who left?” he stopped dead in his tracks. “Someone left?” Mike began before he was stopped by Bill's body with an ‘oof’. Ben peaked his head out from behind the door “What’s going on?”

Bev laughed slightly at the absurdity of the scene her friends had created before remembering what Richie had told her “Rich,” she kneeled down in front of him ”What are you talking about?” but she received no answer. “Richie?” She tried again but still nothing.

The rest of the losers gathered around the hospital bed Richie had crawled onto “(Y/N) left.” He sighed, refusing to look any of them in the eye. No one said anything and Richie could practically feel them looking at each other. He knew they were disappointed in him, they must hate him by now for letting her go, he wasn’t strong enough to protect Eddie so of course he wasn’t strong enough to protect (Y/N). What were they thinking?

“Rich.” Mike began “where did she go?” His hand landed on Richies shoulder in a reassuring manner.

“I don’t know, back home? Her fiancé was here” Richie grunted. Silence filled the room weighing even heavier than it did before.

“Her fiancé?” Beverly spit out, quietly but laced with venom. “What did he say to her to make her go back with him?” She guided Richie’s face upwards, forcing him to meet her eyes.

“I don’t know. I think it had to do with us, like he was going to hurt us or maybe just me or something..” Richie stumbled over his own words wanting to be anywhere but here at this point. “He was a big dude, menacing and shit. She looked really scared” Before Richie even realized he was crying, Bev was wiping away tears from his cheeks. The four losers surrounding the bed he was on leaned in and hugged him. It was reassuring and comforting and it calmed him down, getting him to stop crying.

“Hey, you want some breakfast?” Ben began softly, the losers hummed in unison and chuckled at their like-mindedness. Ben pulled out some sandwiches from a bag he had been holding and ran out to get some coffee for them.

-

Ben didn’t know what to do, he was walking down the corridor in the hospital to get some coffee and he felt conflicted. He had gotten his memories back, his childhood friends back, his childhood crush back too and if you asked him he thought that he might have a chance with her too. But he had also almost lost a friend to that stupid clown and he would surely have nightmares forever from that monster and now he had lost another friend that had survived all of this bullshit to her fiancé instead, stupid abusive manipulative fiancé. He got so angry just thinking about it, especially since he knew that Bevs husband was just as bad, if not worse.

Bev and him had been up last night talking, she had told him about the horrible things her husband had put her through, how he had hit her many times and threatened her even more, he wondered if (Y/N)’s fiancé was as bad. He remembered how bad her mother was. (Y/N) and Eddie’s mothers were awful and always overprotective. He remembered it well when Eddie broke his arm and was forbidden to see any of the losers for the rest of the summer. He hoped Eddie had more control over his life now because otherwise he would surely never be allowed to meet the losers ever again after this, after almost dying. God Ben was happy Eddie had survived it.

“Ben!” Ben’s head whipped around at the sound of a familiar voice saying his name. It was (Y/N).

“(Y/N)! I thought you- but Richie said- I- what????” Ben wasn’t sure he was awake, Richie was so sure that she left, he was so sad, how was she here?

“Yes. I left, I’m sorry I should never have gone back home but I said what I needed to say and now I’ll never go back to that god forsaken place! I’m here.” She hurried up to him and practically jumped on him to give him a hug. Ben opened his arms and hugged her back. The hug was soft and desperate all the same, it was long and loving and (Y/N) knew she had made the right decision to go back.

“I’m glad you’re back, even though I didn’t really know you left until like 10 minutes ago” Ben said as the two let go of each other, (Y/N) just chuckled

“You need some help with that coffee?” She asked, looking at the several filled coffee cups that stood on the desk next to the coffee machine.

“Yes that would be great” Ben answered with a smile “I’m gonna bring them in the the losers minus Eddie I guess, he’s still not awake that I know of” he trailed off

“I see,” (Y/N) began “ that’s good I suppose, I’m glad nothing drastic happened when I wasn’t here to take care of it” she chuckled. And as if she just remembered”oh Richie! I have to let him know I’m back, oh he must hate me” she mumbled to herself.

“Oh no I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you” Ben exclaimed and picked up half of the mugs, he smiled at her and she gave him a half hearted, somewhat insecure smile back as she picked up the rest of the coffee cups.

-

”Richie don’t beat yourself up over this, I’m sure she’s fine, she’ll come back.” Bills voice echoed in the empty hospital room “I think..” he mumbled, Bev hit him on the arm “she will! I’m sure. Maybe not today, maybe not in a week but she’ll go visit you Rich, she’ll come to our next reunion” she said with the most unsure look on her face, this was probably the most unsure Richie had ever seen Bev.

“And when is that gonna be? In 30 years?” Rich felt hopeless.

“She wouldn’t miss Stan’s funeral right?” Mike stated quietly, the room went dead silent, not even a breath could be heard until the door clicked open. No one looked up, they knew it was just Ben anyways.

“Hey guys, I got coffee and something else pretty good” Ben chuckled

“Just pretty good? How dare you!?” (Y/N) laughter boomed, the losers whipped their heads around.

Ben and (Y/N) stood there for a second and proceeded to put down the coffee mugs on the closest table, (Y/N growing more shy by the second, what if the losers didn’t want her back now that she left them. Sure Ben had been welcoming but Ben always was the softest of them.

Just as she was starting to doubt that coming back really was right of her she heard scrambling from the hospital bed, she looked up just in time to see Richie struggling to get out of bed, past the losers but when he did he practically jumped onto her, she did unfortunately not have enough time to get ready for that.

It felt like a dog that hadn’t seen their owner in a very long time finally was reunited with them. Richie hugged her tightly and buried his face in the crook of her neck, as they were laying on the floor uncomfortably (Y/N) felt her neck getting moist, almost wet. Her first thought was that he was licking her since she thought about the dog analogy but soon she realized he was crying and she couldn’t help but start to tear up.

“I thought you wouldn’t come back” Richie whispered, only so that she could hear. “I know, I didn’t think so either” she whispered back.

“do you hate me? For what I said?” His breaths sent shivers down her spine, she pushed his head up from her neck and held his face in between her hands “of course not! I thought you hated me for leaving like that!” She exclaimed. He looked utterly confused and offended

“Of course I don’t hate you!” They looked at each other for a second before starting to smile and then laugh, the rest of the losers joined in on the laughter and soon enough they were both standing up again, smiling at eachother.

-

A nurse peaked in through the crack of the door as they all leaned against the bed or the wall, peacefully sipping their coffee and eating their sandwiches.

“Excuse me, is Dr. (Y/L/N) here?”

“Present” (Y/N) said and raised her hand as she gulped down the last of her coffee.

“Yeah hi,” the nurse smiled “there’s a manic woman by the desk screaming about getting to see your patient, Edward Kaspbrak.” The losers looked at each other, utterly confused.

“She says he’s her husband.”

Chapter Text

There are three very important things to note that happened within the first second that passed after the nurse had said this and those things are:
1: Bev dropped her almost full coffee cup on the floor and it splattered everywhere
2: Richie choked on his coffee and spit it out immediately after right on Ben
3: (Y/N) and Mike shouted in unison “WHAT?!”

The second after this Bev kneeled down, trying to profusely clean all the coffee up, Richie kept coughing as Ben looked simultaneously disgusted and disappointed down at his now coffee stained shirt and (Y/N) and Mike just kept staring at the nurse in disbelief.

The nurse looked so unbelievably disappointed “Right. What should I tell her then?”

(Y/N) almost tripped over her own feet as she made her way to the nurse on the other side of the room “oh god I have no fucking idea, pardon my language but seriously i have no fucking clue.” The nurse stared at her with a bewildered and very confused look “right.” She began again “I’ll just go and talk to her myself then” she stated.

“NO!” (Y/N) grabbed the nurse “I mean-“ she let the nurse go again “let me talk to her, and Eddie- I mean, Mr. Kaspbrak isn’t awake yet is he?”

“no..” the nurse answered carefully “Great!” (Y/N) answered maybe a little too quickly “I mean, not great, of course it’s not good, I just-“

“It’s fine, I get it” the nurse rolled her eyes and left. The losers laughed as (Y/N) stood in the doorway embarrassed.

“So. I’m just gonna go talk to-“(Y/N) chuckled coldly “Mrs. Kaspbrak then.” She stepped into the corridor and soon realized all the losers were not far behind her. Barely far enough to avoid breathing into her neck. She stopped abruptly and all five of the others walked right into her. She cleared her throat.

“I’d appreciate you not breathing into my neck, we can all see Eddie’s wife okay” the losers nodded quickly “from a safe distance of course” Richie whispered and the rest snickered like little kids.

-

They stopped right before the desk, behind a corner where they could lean over and try to get a glimpse of who it was that Eddie had married. (Y/N) looked first since she had led the group there. She leaned over and looked behind the corner, she quickly retreated.

“Holy fucking shit” she began “I can’t fucking believe this shit” she laughed in disbelief “he really did marry his mom, she looks fucking exactly like Sonia!!” She whispered. Richie practically threw himself over the corner to have a look, he quickly retreated as well.

“What in the actual fuck? You’re right.” He laughed “Freud would have a fucking field day” (Y/N) slapped him on the arm but wheezed of laughter nonetheless.

One after the other the losers popped their faces out and right back in again, one quicker than the other. They all had the same reaction and the same laughter of disbelief.

“Jesus fuck” said Bev.

“You think she acts like his mother too?” Said Mike and they all collectively shivered.

“Ugh god I hope not” (Y/N) sighed, she had just gotten away from her very similar situation. She did not need another.

“And you have to talk to her” Richie stated, pointing at her, the rest of the losers tried to hold back laughter “oh man I’m glad I’m not you right now” he continued. (Y/N) could only bury her face in her hands, she knew he was right but she was not looking forward to it.

She felt two warm arms wrapping around her and a tall body towering over her, it was Richie hugging her “just get her the fuck out of here okay” he whispered to her, like only she was supposed to hear, like it was secret between the two. It was strangely comforting. She wrapped her arms around him too and squeezed him maybe too tight before letting go, grabbing his face and yanking it down to her level. “Thank you.” She said swiftly, smiled, turned around and started walking towards Eddie’s wife.

Richie was so surprised by what she did that he almost didn’t comprehend that she had walked away, a blush arose on his cheeks and he smiled softly.

“Still crushing on her I see, even after 30 years? Impressive.” Bev had sneaked up behind him “oh shut up, like you’re not in the exact same position as I am in” he spat back and that did shut her up, they stood as two unmoving, blushing messes together now.

-

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfu- was all that was going through her head as she got closer and closer to Sonias blonde doppelgänger. The woman before her had still not spotted (Y/N) but just before she reached Eddie’s mom- I mean wife, she turned around abruptly.

“And you’re supposed to be?” She asked briskly. (Y/N) felt like she was about to get yelled at.

“I’m Dr. (Y/L/N), Mr. Kaspbraks main surgeon. And you are?” She would say she played dumb but at this point she almost didn’t believe this was Eddie’s wife.

“I’m Myra Kaspbrak, Edward’s wife.” Myra stated, almost angry “just let me see my husband already!”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible. Your husband-“ (Y/N) were pretty sure she just vomited in her mouth a little “is not awake yet and in absolutely no condition to have any guests.” She just needed to get Myra to leave, at least long enough for Eddie to get out of here.

“I just want to see my husband! I’m worried sick can’t you see?” Myra grew more frustrated.

“I’m sorry-“ (Y/N) stopped, maybe Eddie wanted to see his wife. Maybe it was a great marriage. He hadn’t really mentioned anything about his wife, was that a good thing or a bad thing? She actually had no idea.

“I’m clean! I know how to take care of my husband best! I have all his medicine, I have his asthma spray right here, he needs it. It’s a backup, it’s full! Just let me see him!” Myra demanded, pulling (Y/N) out of her thoughts. Nope, now she just sounded like Eddie’s mother. She had to physically hold herself back from rolling her eyes and instead cleared her throat.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible Mrs. Kaspbrak.” She said pointedly.

“I don’t like your tone” Myra said immediately and (Y/N) could feel her anger bubbling inside and with a strained smile she said “well then you can leave.”

Myra looked just like she was ready to slap her but a nurse interrupted the two. “Mr. Kaspbrak is awake now Doctor.” But before (Y/N) could react, Myra sprinted past her towards Eddie’s room.

“Does she even know what room he’s in?” (Y/N) panicked. The nurse shook her head but the woman at the desk said with a guilty voice “should I not have told her?”

“Oh fuck” (Y/N) groaned and ran after Myra.

-

Eddie woke up with a terrible headache and a terrible pain coming from his chest, his breathing was uneven and felt strange in a way he couldn’t understand. He looked around carefully, his whole body ached when he moved it. He started thinking back to what had happened and when it came back to him the first thought that came to mind was

“Oh fuck am I dead?”

Fortunately before he got any further a nurse walked in.

“Oh god, you’re awake” she stated. “How are you feeling?” She sat down next to him.

“I’m okay? I think?” He said vaguely, she smiled.

“I’ll grab the doctor and she’ll explain everything to you, okay?”

“Okay.” He tried getting comfortable in the bed again as she left.

Next thing he knows, Myra is barging through the door screaming at the top of her lungs “EDWARD OH GOD HONEY I'VE BEEN SO WORRIED!!” She almost threw herself on top of him as she cried and cried and cried. It hurt, like a lot and he made it known.

She stood up and fumbled for a chair to sit down on as she kept crying and yelling at him for leaving and for being so reckless. She was already giving him a worse headache than he already had.

“Myra, please-“ he started but trailed off when (Y/N) ran into the room, and as their eyes met a wave of relief washed over her face visibly and Eddie felt the same way, they stood for a second smiling at each other until Myra continued screaming at Eddie for his recklessness.

“Mrs. Kaspbrak! I’m going to have to ask you to step away from my patient” she sounded so professional, Eddie thought but of course Myra refused.

“Look, I’m a professional here and for someone who seems to be so adamant about safety you sure are risking your husbands survival barging in here all contaminated with bacteria and viruses and diseases and who knows what things are on the furniture in that main room.” (Y/N) looked extremely serious

Myra actually didn’t have anything to say to that and instead nodded quickly and ran out, as if she was on her way to get decontaminated.

When she left and the door clicked shut (Y/N) and Eddie looked at each other again and tears started to well up in (Y/N)’s eyes, she ran to the side of the bed, standing over him now.

“How are you?” She asked softly, like anything could break him.

“I’m okay, I think, you didn’t actually mean all those bacteria things right?” Eddie worried, (Y/N) chuckled and shook her head. “Then please hug me” he fumbled out. She leaned down immediately and hugged him with the softest, yet most desperate hug he had ever received in his life. He appreciated it greatly since everything hurt. She raised herself slightly, her face hovering just above his, she was smiling at him and he smiled back.

“God I’m so fucking glad you’re alive” she leaned down again and kissed his forehead so softly he barely felt it.

“Me too” he said and smiled warmly at her. “What about the others, are they okay?” He asked, she nodded quickly and stood up completely now, he was almost sad about it.

“Anyways now I actually have to be your doctor” she said and chuckled.

-

Myra had been forced out back into the waiting room by a couple of nurses and the rest of the losers had snuck into Eddie’s room with the help of (Y/N). They were all talking and laughing and just existing together with no threat of them being killed at any second. It was a long time ago since they had been like this. They talking about old memories and what they had done with their lives while they had been separated. Eddie, Bev and (Y/N) had had pretty similar lives, being passed from one controlling abuser to another and they realized neither were happy with the life they had been living. Bill and Mike were happy with their lives but wanted a change, both of them, they joked about moving in together but none of the others actually believed it was a joke. Ben and Richie were pretty successful and living the bachelor life, even though both of them would rather not be.

Ben and Bev had grown closer and it seemed difficult for either of them to leave the other's side. Bill and Mike seemed to have a never ending conversation with each other that needed attending and Richie and (Y/N) were sitting on either side of Eddie, holding each of his hands, carefully.

“I don’t want to go back to Myra after this” Eddie groaned. “Then don’t” Richie stated abruptly. “Did I say that out loud?” He asked sheepishly. They laughed.

“He has a point though.” (Y/N) began “I mean, I left Karl because I realized I didn’t love him.” Richie signaled for her to continue “-and because a realized he was an abusive asshole” he pumped his fist in the air in a silent victory, she chuckled. Eddie chuckled too.

“I don’t know man, it’s gonna be hard. I don’t think she’s gonna let me” Eddie stated “you know how difficult my mother was, she’s worse.”

“Worse? Are you fucking kidding me” Richie sighed “don’t worry, you have us now, stronger versions of us” (Y/N) picked up.

The three of them smiled at each other.

“But seriously” (Y/N) interrupted “I have nowhere to live” and as if Eddie remembered the same thing he said “shit, yeah me neither if I leave Myra”

“Come live with me” said Richie, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Eddie and (Y/N) looked at eachother, then back to Richie.

“Yeah like I’d want to become your maid.” (Y/N) chuckled, Eddie agreed with a chuckle.

Richie noted two things from this, that 1: (Y/N) and Eddie would look hot as fuck in maid dresses and 2: that while (Y/N) had been joking, there was somewhat of a strain to Eddie’s laughter.

“Ha ha, very funny, my apartment is actually in a pretty decent state. I clean regularly, you know.” Richie stated proudly, the other two just broke down in laughter with a ‘yeah right’ each.

“I’m serious!” Rich interrupted them “move in with me! We always talked about becoming roommates when we were kids anyways” he continued.

The other two once again looked at each other, then back at Richie. Eddie looked very unsure, (Y/N) looked worried.

“Please. You guys have nowhere to live and I can pay all the rent and shit so money won’t be an issue here. It’s lonely out there and living with you two is gonna be like a sleepover every night!” At this, the two infront of Richie looked like they began to actually think about it.

“It’s a strict “no abusive asshole partners” policy in my apartment anyways” Richie said proudly and (Y/N) and Eddie chuckled.

“Yeah, okay. Why not?” (Y/N) laughed softly

“I don’t know Rich..” Eddie began but feeling the grip on his hands tighten from both sides he sighed and said “I guess it wouldn’t be worse than living with Myra.” Finally giving in.

The three of them looked at each other, smiles and faces warm all the same, giddy like children.