Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

John set his cup down, looking at Sherlock who was stretched out on the sofa.

"I've got a question for you. You've never-.. why have you not had sex?" John asks. Bluntly to say the least.

"What gives you the idea that I haven't?" Sherlock tone is even.

John raises an eyebrow, his head tilting slightly. Had he been mistaken? "So....you have? Mycroft made it seem like you've never done anything like that before. You've never shown interest in it, and in the years I've lived with you.. you've never brought anyone home." John says.

Sherlock hums flatly. As if that answers.

John scowled. "..have you then?"

Sherlock opens his eyes, looking at John. "No. Never. Why do you care?" He says. John can hear the defensive tone creeping into Sherlock's voice.

John shrugs but continues pushing. "I was just wondering. Could I ask why?"

Sherlock clenched his jaw, his eyes closing again.
"Undignified. Unsanitary. Never met anyone I would want to do that with." He said flatly.

John paused. "...no one"

Sherlock ground his teeth again. "One. But it's not to be discussed." He growled.

John nods slowly.
So Sherlock has met someone he's at least considered or.. thought about getting physical with. Who? When?
It had to of been when he was young. School years maybe?
Why hadn't he though?

"Okay, why didn't you do anything with them?" John asked softly

Sherlock huffed, sitting up. "Because they aren't interested. Because it's undignified. I told you already."

Undignified. John looks at Sherlock who is clearly irritated with the conversation. But he hasn't told John to shut up. And despite the personal questions, he seemed to be giving John actual honest answers.

"It makes you feel vulnerable. You don't like it. Is that it?" John asked.

Sherlock stiffened, side eyeing John. So that was it. John thought.

"I am not alarmed by sex" Sherlock said through clenched teeth.

John smiled. "I never said you were. I just said it makes you feel out of depth. You need to understand what's going on." John said.

Sherlock dropped back onto the sofa, turning his back to John.

"You've never trusted anyone enough to actually go farther. I know for a fact you've at least seen porn, is that what you think it is?" John asked.

Sherlock shrunk, his legs moving towards his chest and shoulders hunching in. "Isn't it?" He said.

John laughed softly and shook his head. " Not at all. The real stuff is much... Closer.. softer. Both people work with each other to make sure each person is as happy and comfortable as possible. They feel loved and seen not just physically but also emotionally. Yes you're exposed, vulnerable. But given the chance you would do it again" John said. His tone was gentle.

Sherlock twisted around looking at him, brows furrowed. "...that's still..."

John grins watching as Sherlock's face twists as he tries to understand.

"I'm not saying it's something you have to want or like or even ever do. But.. it's not like you've seen. Not really." John said.

Sherlock's face took on a soft pink and he sat up, crossing his legs and glancing at John. "..and you.. you make the other person comfortable? How?" He asks.

"Just.. being mindful of them. Taking into account any insecurities they may have. Making sure that they're okay with whatever is happening. Listening when they say 'be careful' or 'no more of that's even just.. complimenting them. Making them feel... Beautiful." John said, taking a sip of tea.

Sherlock nods slowly, and after a moment asks "..do you tease them after? If they were.. loud o-or if they didn't last.. as long as you?" His voice is soft and his eyes lift, leveling with John's.

John paused. "No..never unfriendly teasing." John said.
Sherlocks eyes fell.
"Who told you that?" John asked. He ignores the feeling of anger twisting at his insides. Who told him that teasing was normal? Was that why? Did someone make fun of him over it?

"People.. I've heard people say...things.. about it. Saying how since he didn't last long he must be new. And then they would laugh, or go on about how it was childish" Sherlock said.

"Well. That's not how it's supposed to be." John said shaking his head.

Sherlock nods again. "Do you?" Sherlock asks, eyes fixed on the coffee table. "Tease after, I mean."

John blinks quickly, clearing his throat. "No, never"

Sherlock loosened before nodding again. "Right."
With that, he dropped back into a spot on the sofa closing his eyes.

Chapter Text

Mycroft stood beside john as police light flashed and Sherlock listed off his deductions, what gave the criminal away and how they caught him to lestrade -who is scribbling notes and nodding along- at a dizzying speed.

"Sherlock. Who.. has he ever liked anyone?" John asked.

Mycroft halts looking at him. "You mean- John, really?" He scoffs.

John scowled. "Seriously. Who?"

Mycroft smiled. "Who do you think? He's only ever wasted time on one person." He said, leaning on this umbrella.

John paused, the first name that came to mind was Moriarty. But he couldn't like Moriarty, that was now.. that was recent.
He kept the phone from Irene.. but never really invested time in her.

".. Moriarty? Irene? Maybe?" John said, looking at Mycroft who was watching him with an amused expression.

"No, John. Really? Neither of them" Mycroft laughed shaking his head. As if the answer was obvious. John scowled again and had half a mind to kick his umbrella out from under him.
Mycrofts eyes flick over to Sherlock, who has quickly placed himself beside john. "-they didn't believe me! How could they not believe me John? I showed them all the evidence as we went! They never listen until we actually have the culprit-" Sherlock continues talking as if John had been there from the start of his rant.

Mycroft nudged John with his elbow, smiling softly. "You, John. Only you, never anyone else."

John froze, Mycrofts words hitting him like a sack of bricks. Him? John himself? Never anyone else?
John looks at Sherlock, who slows to a stop and studies his face for a moment.

"What's wrong? Did... Mycroft do something?" He asks.

John can't find words. What did Mycroft mean 'him'? How could Sherlock like him?

Sherlock scowled glaring over at Mycroft. "What did you do?" He growled.

Mycroft smiled. It was an i-told-you-so smile. And Sherlock's behavior was only proving his point.

"M-me?" John said finally.

Sherlock's eyes snap over to him. "Yes. You. What did he do?" Sherlock says.

John flushed and Sherlock paused, glancing between John and his brother. "...what do you mean by 'me?'" he asks, tone remarkably softer.

Mycroft shook his head laughing softly. "Finally on the same page, brother dear?" He said.

Sherlock faltered, eyes falling back to John as Mycroft excused himself.

"Me? Sherlock. Really? I'm the 'one'?" John asks quietly, the pink of his cheeks turning to a soft red as he spoke. If he was Sherlock's 'one' that means Sherlock has thought about... Him. He would, or has at least considered John as a partner.

Sherlock's face twisted into a mix of embarrassment and anger.
"I-.. i-it uhm..." Sherlock blinks quickly his words dying in his throat, he steps away from John eyes fixed on the pavement.

John's own eyes widen and he quickly reaches out, grabbing Sherlock's coat sleeve. "Don't. Don't leave, it's.. it's fine, Sherlock." John said. He carefully slipped his hand down, so he was holding Sherlock's hand instead of his coat.

Sherlock looks at him a moment before his hand gently curls around John's. "Yes. You." He says.

John flushed up again and he pulls Sherlock closer. "When we get home, I have something i want to ask you" John said.
Sherlock nods slowly.

John's phone buzzes.

GOOD LUCK - MH

Chapter Text

Sherlock stood awkwardly in the kitchen, waiting for John to ask whatever question he had.

Sherlock had mixed feelings about Mycrofts actions.
On one hand, he had no place telling John anything.
But on the other.. John had held his hand because of it.

John walked In, looking at Sherlock and offering a small smile.
"Okay.. my question is, why didn't you tell me?" He asked.

Sherlocks eyes fall from Johns face. "Well uhm.. you don't.. you aren't-" Sherlock cuts himself off waving his hands.

"I'm not gay?" John says. Sherlock nods. John takes a deep breath, carefully taking Sherlock's hand in his again. "..bi" he says softly, glancing up at Sherlock.

Bi. Bisexual. The word plows into Sherlock like a train. John is bisexual. That means boys too.

Sherlock looks at John, eyes wide and John smiles.

"D'you get what I'm saying?" John asks softly.

Sherlock nods slowly. "I think so..yes."

John takes another deep breath, steadying himself. "W-well to make you positive. I like you too.. very much." He said, his cheeks blooming red.

Sherlock's heart pounds in his chest. John likes him. His dear John likes him back. "..oh" he says softly.

John laughs stepping closer. "Is.. is that okay?"

Sherlock's face flushed bright red. "Oh! Yes! I-its uhm.. good. Very good" he says.

John smiles looking over Sherlock's face. Eyes wide and vulnerable, cheeks flushed.

"You can say no...if you'd like.. but, may I kiss you?" John asks gently.

Sherlock blinks quickly, his grip tightening on John's hand. "Y-you want to kiss me?" He breaths.

John nods. "Yes, very badly."

Sherlock nods slowly.

John gently pulls Sherlock closer, putting a hand on his waist.

Sherlock looks slowly over John before pressing closer and glancing back up at John's face, checking for the okay.

John pulls his hand from Sherlock's and carefully brings him down, pushing his hand into Sherlock's hair.

Sherlock's eyelids flutter, his gaze fixed on John's lips. John pressed their lips together and at once Sherlock melts against him, his arms wrapping around John's waist.

John's slowly pulls back and Sherlock scowled.

"Good?" John asked. Sherlock nods leaning closer, "yes. Again please." He says.

John laughed, kissing him again. Sherlock's hands grip John's shirt and after a moment he breaks the kiss, burying his face in John's neck.

"John.." Sherlock says.

John smiled. "Yea?"

"Can... Can we do that every day?" He asked softly.

John laughed placing a kiss on his neck.-not missing the way it made Sherlock shudder- "of course." He said happily. "You're my 'one'"

Sherlock hugged him tighter.