Chapter Text
Marinette was exhausted.
She was quivering as she stumbled into her family bakery, arms wrapped around herself. She didn’t even realize tears were streaming down her face until she found her father’s arms bringing her into a tight embrace, concerned words pouring from her parents’ mouths. She pressed herself against his chest, but her body refused to be calmed.
Marinette didn’t understand a word of what they were saying to her– she could hear them, their worry, but yet the words were just forgein mumbles to her. She pressed her eyes shut, trying to fight back the tears that were falling, and she forced herself to speak. She didn’t know what she said, most likely one of the many excuses she had used before; she was tired, she was caught up in the akuma attack, that she just needed to sleep.
She climbed the steps to her room, every muscle aching as she walked. As soon as she was out of her parents’ sight she let her tears spill over once more, almost collapsing against the railing as she slowly made her way up to her room. Her bag twitched, Tikki drifted up from the purse, a half eaten cookie in hand as she looked up at her holder. The kwami looked just as exhausted as the human did, concern lining her blue eyes.
“Marinette,” Tikki said softly. “This isn’t your fault.”
She didn’t say anything, the teenage girl simply dragging herself into her room, her arms shaking slightly as she shut the trapdoor behind her. It slammed shut with a loud echo, causing both of them to jump slightly. Tikki ate several more bites of her cookie, each one seeming to give her a boost to her energy. Marinette collapsed down on her chaise, a small sigh escaping her as she curled up.
“Why does it hurt so much?” Marinette asked softly, bringing her aching limbs in closer.
“You held your transformation for hours,” Tikki said, darting in front of her, eating her final bite of her cookie. “You use just as much of your energy as you do mine... and I think this akuma is... a bit different than others we’ve faced.”
Marinette shot her a bitter look, before turning over to stare at the wall. “It’s because Chat’s always taking the hits for me, isn’t it? Does he feel like this after every fight, Tikki?”
“This isn’t the first time you’ve faced an akuma on your own– and this isn’t the first time you’ve faced Chat!” Tikki cried, zipping around so she could look her holder in the eyes. “Being akumatized himself has just enhanced him power, and facing him on your own has left you both physically and mentally exhausted!”
Fresh tears entered her eyes. “I should have known something was wrong when he didn’t show up for patrol. I should have done something, gone looking for him... I should have contacted Master Fu!”
“There’s nothing you could have done,” Tikki said softly. “Please don’t blame yourself.”
“My best friend was akumatized and I did nothing about it!” Marinette cried, twisting so she was facing away from the kwami. “He didn’t show up, and I brushed it off! He needed my help, and I did nothing! He’s out there suffering right now and I’m supposed to fight him so I can stop him but I don’t want to hurt him and I don’t think I’m strong enough to face him on my own but everyone expects me to and it’s not just mind control something had to have hurt him to put him in the state to be akumatized and I should have been there to help him and I wasn’t–!”
The words came pouring out from her, unhindered and rushed. Fresh tears lined her eyes; her pain, fear, and frustration no longer being able to be held back. Her words trailed off, just becoming muffled sobs as she buried her face into a pillow. Tikki watched her with a soft expression, and she drifted down and landed on her shoulder. She had just spent an entire afternoon fighting against Chat Blanc, and she had every right to let her feelings out.
Marinette had fought against Chat before, akumas having used their powers to turn him against her, but even this was different. As she said this wasn’t simply mind control– but Chat’s real emotions heightened because of the akuma. The sorrow and pain that Chat Blanc had shown today was real, just simply elevated far beyond what it should have been. His abilities had been enhanced as well, and with no Chat Noir by her side to help her Chat Blanc had been one of the most dangerous akuma’s she had ever faced.
And the fight had lasted for hours.
Despite how long they had been fighting, despite everything Ladybug had done to get the akumatized object hidden away in his pocket, it was simply a battle they could not win. They had used three Lucky Charms, had only minutes to rest and get back into the fight, yet it simply hadn’t been enough. Then, as the sun had begun setting, Chat Blanc had vanished– going from relentlessly attacking to suddenly retreating– vanishing as he darted across the rooftops of Paris, moving too quickly for even Ladybug to catch up.
“You won’t face him alone next time,” Tikki promised, pressing up against her cheek. “We’ll go to Master Fu. Rena and Carapace can help you, or any of the others. As soon as he’s purified we can help Chat in whatever way he needs, it’s going to be okay.”
“What if his retreat was Hawk Moth ordering him to bring his Miraculous to him,” Marinette whispered fearfully. “Then Chat would be defenseless and...”
“Hawk Moth wouldn’t risk it, not unless he had both of yours,” Tikki said. “Hawk Moth shares a bond with his akumas, and that includes senses. He took great risk in akumatizing Chat, because just as easily as Hawk Moth can look through Chat’s eyes and hear through his ears, Chat could locate Hawk Moth with that same connection. And seeing how Miraculous holders seem to retain most memories...”
“H-huh?”
“Alya and Nino remembered being Oblivio,” Tikki said. “And Chloe hasn’t seemed to have forgotten about being Queen Wasp. Chances are that Chat will remember being Chat Blanc– meaning once you purify him he may be able to lead us to Hawk Moth’s lair.”
Marinette took this in with silence. “...Is that why he had Chat retreat...?”
“Akumatizing Chat Noir was a great risk for him, an all or nothing gamble,” Tikki confirmed. “He’s not disposable like the other victims he’s akumatized– he will hold onto Chat for as long as he can. He can’t take Chat’s ring now, because that will strip him of most of his powers, which he’ll need to face you and get your Miraculous.”
“But–!”
“Marinette– you need to rest,” Tikki insisted. “I know today has been hard, and I know there’s so much to worry about, but it will be best for everyone if you get some sleep. In the morning you’ll be able to think clearly, and that will be the best way to help Chat and Paris.”
She wanted to protest, she wanted to help Chat now , but she recognized the truth in the kwami’s words. Rest now, and leave everything for the morning. She nodded slowly, rising up from her chaise, wincing as her aching muscles flared up. It didn’t hurt as much as before, but still her muscles were sore from today’s fight. She wiped away the lingering tears, and slowly made her way up to her loft, where her bed was awaiting her. She didn’t care that she was still in her school clothes, she was far too exhausted, and she collapsed onto her bed.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud thump on her roof.
Both she and Tikki jerked their heads towards her skylight as they heard the sound, her heart began to thump in her chest. Kwami and human looked at each other uncertainly, the sound clearly belonging to something large. Tikki drifted up towards the skylight, phasing through to peer at what was on the roof– darting down just as quickly. Her eyes were wide with fear, and the kwami made a shushing motion, signaling for her to stay low.
Marinette tilted her head slightly, trying to listen for any sign of what could be up there. Tikki’s fearful expression was enough to put her on edge– but yet her curiosity was just as strong. She slowly sat up, her heart hammering in her chest as she heard a rasping sound above, which soon turned into a heavy coughing. Whatever was on her roof was definitely human.
She bolted to her feet, bed springs creaking as she headed towards the trapdoor. Tikki’s eyes widened further, shaking her head urgently, but for some reason she simply didn’t care. She wanted to see who was on her roof, and that desire drowned out Tikki’s warning– something that she usually heeded. The kwami darted back and forth nervously as she reached for the skylight, pushing it open, peering out on her balcony. Her gut tightened as she caught a glimpse of white leather, a very familiar form laying collapsed in front of her.
“Chat,” Marinette whispered, staring at the form of her akumatized partner.
Her voice had been hushed, barely a whisper, but clearly he had heard her. He let out a groan, shifting as she spoke. His head twisted towards her, clawed hands digging into the floor as he opened his eyes. Her world seemed to freeze as those blue eyes met hers, his sharp gaze fixated on her. His pupils were slitted, and his eyes seemed to almost glow in the night as he pushed himself up, arms cradled close to his body.
He opened his mouth, revealing a pair of pointed canine teeth, letting out a low hiss. She instantly shrank back, but unfortunately this action wasn’t unfamiliar. Throughout their battle he had done nothing but hiss and growl, his claws having slashed towards her multiple times as they had clashed on the Paris rooftops.
His aggression was swiftly pushed to the back of her mind as he shifted, Chat Blanc taking in a sharp breath, clutching his body in pain. Marinette’s eyes widened slightly, pushing the trapdoor up further as he curled up on her balcony, his breathing heavy. His eyes slid shut, breath hitching, and a low rumble filled the air.
“Are you purring?” Marinette asked in surprise, her words coming from her without thought.
Chat Blanc reeled back as if he had just been struck, scurrying back with another hiss. He was down on all fours, panting heavily as he glowered at her. Her heart twisted, because he was so clearly in pain– pain that she knew she had caused in their battle. She hadn’t been gentle, throwing him across the streets, yoyo and claws having clashed over and over.
“Stay. Back.” He spat, every muscle in his body tensed.
“D-did you just talk?” She cried, her eyes widening– he had not said a single word throughout their entire battle. He had just attacked and lashed out, having chased Ladybug like a predator stalking its prey, his actions had been nothing but animalistic in nature. She had thought the akuma had chased the human from his mind, and had brought out the cat.
Chat Blanc snorted, tossing his head, before wincing at the action. Gritting his teeth he glanced at her, before slowly lowering himself back to the balcony, huffing. His blue gaze stayed locked on her, breathing ragged as he curled back up. The low rumble still rang out around them, his purring having yet to fade.
“Why wouldn’t I?” He asked slowly, eyes watching her bitterly, and she gulped.
“Um... on the news reports,” Marinette said slowly, reminding herself that he didn’t know that Ladybug was in front of him. “You never talked, and Ladybug seemed to be trying to reason with you several times and... yeah?”
His body tensed. “Don’t talk about her.”
“Ladybug?”
His reply was a violent hiss.
“Okay, I won’t say her name,” Marinette said, speaking softly in hopes to keep him calm. She shifted again, not sure of what to make of the constant purring filling the air. He was hurting, he was bitter, what could be making him happy right now? “Um... c-could I look at your wounds? If you’re hurt I could help–”
“Stay away!” He snarled, eyes going wide, giving him a crazed gleam in his eyes. A yelp got caught in her throat, and she retreated back into her room, the skylight sliding shut as he charged right towards her.
She was panting as she collapsed down onto her bed, listening to the wild scratches coming from above. Her eyes shifted over to Tikki, who was staring up nervously– but soon the balcony fell silent. They both listened carefully as Chat dragged himself away from the entrance, a small thump sounding out as he laid back down.
“He’s not the Chat you knew,” Tikki said softly. “Don’t press him.”
“He’s right there,” She whispered. “I know the akuma is in his pocket, if I could just get it then I could help him–”
“It’s too dangerous to approach him without your suit– he could seriously hurt you,” Tikki said, voice urgent and hushed. “And if you transform now Hawk Moth will know that Ladybug lives here! It’s not safe, Mari. Just... just let him stay up there for tonight, he probably has no where else to go.”
That was very true. As an akuma he couldn’t detransform, so it wasn’t like he could just go home like nothing had happened. Besides, Chat had never really spoken positively about his home life, so she doubted he would even want to go back there now. It wasn’t like he could just rest anywhere in Paris, the police would come and people would be frightened at the mere sight of him. She most certainly wasn’t about to tell her parents that he was here, and she definitely wasn’t about to chase him off.
“He must be hungry,” Marinette realized. She sat up, slipping out from her bed and down the steps from her loft.
She was tempted to go to the bakery, but her aching limbs said otherwise, especially when she had food in her room. It definitely wasn’t the most nutritious things– part of Tikki’s cookie collection, a bag of chips and some candy– but she gathered them up anyways. She grabbed an apple sitting on her desk, something she hadn’t touched from lunch, looking for something to put everything in.
A spare backpack became the winner, the food being slipped inside alongside a water bottle. As she climbed back up into her loft she grabbed a spare blanket at the foot of her bed, rolling it up and tucking everything under one arm. Tikki was watching her disapprovingly, but said nothing to stop her as she approached the skylight once more. She hesitated, trying not to shiver at the thought of his icy blue eyes, and she pushed the door open.
Immediately her ears were greeted by the sound of a low hiss, but she didn’t even pause. She shoved the backpack and the blanket up onto her balcony, before ducking back inside and locking the trapdoor as she heard Chat changing at her once more. She collapsed down onto her bed, eyes slightly wide as she listened to the sounds above, Chat slashing at the trapdoor.
“Marinette, you need to rest,’ Tikki insisted.
“I know, but I just couldn’t leave him like that,” She said softly.
“You’re always trying to help others, and that is a good thing,” Tikki said. “But right now you need to worry about yourself if you’re going to be able to do anything tomorrow. Please get some sleep.”
“I will,” Marinette promised, and her kwami’s gaze softened. She crawled under her covers, Tikki curling up onto the pillow next to her. She strained her ears, trying to listen for any sign of Chat outside, but she heard nothing.
With a sigh she pulled out her phone, scrolling through the news reports as she laid there in bed, hoping to see something– anything– that could help her. The internet had blown up with the news that one of their heroes had been akumatized, but nothing that could help Chat crossed her eyes. With a sigh she was about to turn off her phone, before she paused. She bit her lip in thought, before typing one more thing into the search bar.
Why do cats purr?
At first she got the answers she expected– a cat purrs when they’re happy and content, they purr to comfort and communicate with each other– but it was one of the last answers that caught her attention: cats can also purr when they are in pain.
A lump formed in her throat as she read this, the echoes of Chat’s rumbling purrs running through her head, his pained expression branded into her mind. He was hurting, her partner was hurt and it was her fault. She had been the one to attack him, to leave him in such a state. Now he was up on her balcony, all alone with the pain she had caused.