Archive of Our Own ^beta

Rodney and Ronon trying to court Keller was like watching a train wreck in slow motion.

John had already heard all about Ronon's gung-ho attitude employed on the Daedalus of if it moves, shoot it and, normally, he'd be okay with that except Ronon had also taken the sledgehammer approach to crippling the ship. That was not so cool because any one of those blasts could have shattered more than just the crystals controlling the hyperdrive and weapons. Ronon could have destroyed life support too, or caused the hangar bay doors to open up to the vacuum of space, killing the stunned crew of the Daedalus who had been dumped there by Todd.

Ronon was the human equivalent of a bull in a china shop when not reined in so it was inevitable that Keller would witness this reckless, Neanderthal side to his nature at some point and not be able to reconcile it with her own sense of maturity and responsibility. John had simply hoped that Ronon might be able to control himself long enough for Keller to pick him over Rodney. In fact, John had been banking on Rodney making a complete fool out of himself long before it reached this point. Unfortunately, now that Ronon was out of the running that left Rodney with a clear field.

He felt a momentary sensation of guilt because the elderly Rodney in that alternate universe had found some measure of comfort with Keller in the year before she died from complications brought on by the Hoffan plague. Uncharitably, he wanted to believe that the relationship wouldn't have survived much longer than that anyhow, that she had never seen Rodney at his very worst, except that wasn't strictly true. Keller had experienced Rodney's personality in all its glory from selfish and egotistic to sweet and vulnerable, even if it had taken an alien parasite in his brain to fully reveal that side of him.

John recalled those days with a mixture of pain and pleasure. For all of Rodney's talk of Jennifer this and Jennifer that, the person he had turned to once his brain started turning to mush was not the person he professed to love. When Rodney was scared he came running to John's door, and when he needed reassurance he looked to John and smiled with such innocence and trust that it almost broke John's heart in two.

John knew it was inevitable that Rodney would eventually do or say something that was just as rash and inconsiderate as Ronon was brash and reckless but until then Rodney still had that engagement ring burning a hole in his pocket. The fact that it had already been offered to Katie Brown and returned was immaterial to someone with Rodney's limited set of social graces, which was one trait Ronon and Rodney shared. Rodney wouldn't wait around this time before making his marriage proposal and Keller might just accept out of some misguided belief that they were good for each other.

He wondered if it was wrong to hope for another disaster to strike Atlantis just in time to save Rodney from making another monumental mistake. John wriggled uncomfortably because no one had ever managed to work out what had gone wrong on the day Rodney proposed to Katie. Rodney had mentioned quarantine procedures that had been set too strict following the earlier amnesia sickness but he had never tracked down the trigger. It almost seemed too much of a coincidence that the bulkhead doors had slammed tight just when Rodney was about to throw away his life on Katie, thereby trapping him in a room with no access to technology and triggering his well known deep-rooted paranoia--at least, well known to John.

John had spent enough time with Rodney in various dank cells on backwater planets and hive ships to know exactly how Rodney would react under those circumstance so he wasn't totally surprised that the Rodney-Katie romance was over by the time the doors reopened. Still, he felt his own paranoia rise because it had been the perfect way to sour that relationship and leave Rodney free for...somebody else.

"Colonel."

John snapped out of his musings and gave a half-hearted smile at Daniel Jackson. Here was another geek that couldn't manage to stay out of trouble and John could bet he was going to get an ear-full from General O'Neill once the news got back to Earth. He had the feeling O'Neill was going to hold him personally responsible for losing both scientists, and Jackson in particular as O'Neill was still not sure what to make of Rodney.

Unfortunately, exposure to Rodney didn't always bring understanding and acceptance, as most of Rodney's 'minions' would testify. Personally, John was glad as it meant there were less people vying for Rodney's attention so less competition for him. He could monopolize Rodney's free time, even badger him in the lab and control room. It meant he had the chance to get as close as possible without stepping over the line. Except John wanted to cross that line. He wanted to see all of Rodney's attention focused solely on him rather than on someone who could never love him half as much as John loved him.

"Doctor Jackson, how can I help you?"

Jackson frowned. "I was thinking more along the lines of me helping you."

"Oh?"

****

John smiled secretively to himself as Rodney followed him out onto the deserted pier. They hadn't done this since Rodney's illness, neither of them wanting to be reminded of how close John had come to losing Rodney. The thought made him tense and he realized he still harbored a little resentment towards Keller for her lack of preparation for that journey to Ronon's shrine. Beckett would have brought along an entire portable operating theater just on the off chance of finding a way to save Rodney but John had to accept that Keller was no Beckett. Also, he had to admit that he was predisposed to find fault with her purely because she was a rival for Rodney's affections.

The sun was still hovering above the horizon when he kicked off his sneakers and dangled his legs over the edge as he sat on the edge, grabbing a beer and pulling the tab. Rodney sat down beside him and accepted the beer with a frown.

"You know I'm not really a beer person."

"You didn't complain about the taste last time we were out here."

"Last time we were out here, my mind was being eroded by an alien parasite."

John pointed a finger. "Exactly."

"Exactly? Exactly what? That doesn't make any sense. I was turning into a human vegetable."

"And that's my point. When it came down to the real McKay, no longer hiding inside that oversize brain of yours, you liked beer...and me."

"I liked... Of course I liked you. You're my best friend."

"I thought Carson was your best friend."

"Well, yes. He is...was but...Can't a man have two best friends? Are we twelve or something?"

John smiled as Rodney took a sip of beer and wrinkled up his nose at the taste.

"Are you sure I liked this because it's pretty--" He broke off suddenly, confusion reflected in clear blue eyes before they widened in shock. Rodney glanced around the pier as if seeing it with fresh eyes before looking back at John, eyes still wide and shocked. "When I woke up alone, I was scared." He looked harder at John. "I was scared and I came looking for you. I forgot Jennifer. I forgot her name, forgot that I lo... but I never forgot you." He swallowed hard. "I don't love her, do I?"

John placed his beer down on the ground, licking his lips warily as turned to face Rodney. Rodney looked devastated.

"How long have you known?" Rodney asked softly.

"That I lo... you." He stumbled over the word. "Pretty much since Antarctica." He let some of the tension flow out of his muscles. "That you might lo...love me?" The soft laugh of self-derision seemed to explode from his chest. "Guess it took another genius geek to point that one out."

"Daniel." Rodney clenched his jaw.

John smiled wryly. "Apparently, you talked about me...a lot."

"Huh!" It was a semi-enlightened exclamation.

John picked up his beer and took another sip, watching from the corner of his eye as Rodney did likewise. Ahead of them, the sun was just touching the horizon, sending streaks of light across the wave tops. They sat in companionable silence until the sun had fully set and the last of the beer was gone. Then John pushed to his feet and held out a hand to Rodney.

Rodney stared at his outstretched hand for a long moment before reaching back, and once upright he took a step forward rather than back.

Their first kiss was bitter from the taste of beer and wasted years but as they wrapped arms around each other to hold on tighter, the bitterness was chased away leaving behind only the sweetness of inevitability.

THE END