Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

trashmouthtozier named the group chat new friends

trashmouthtozier added birdy.sue to new friends

trashmouthtozier: heya new friend

birdy.sue: Who the hell are you?

trashmouthtozier: your new dad of course

birdy.sue: Seriously?

trashmouthtozier: as sirius as ill ever be

birdy.sue: Oh gosh, why am I even here?

trashmouthtozier: because you loooove me

birdy.sue: I'm leaving.

birdy.sue left the chat

trashmouthtozier: nah

trashmouthtozier added birdy.sue to new friends

birdy.sue left the chat

trashmouthtozier added birdy.sue to new friends

birdy.sue: Stop.

birdy.sue left the chat

trashmouthtozier: never

trashmouthtozier added birdy.sue to new friends

birdy.sue: Why are you doing this?

trashmouthtozier: cause i want friends (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

birdy.sue: Why did you add me anyway? Why not someone else?

trashmouthtozier: i just randomly selected a username and u were the one ( ˘ ³˘)♥

birdy.sue: Stop with the emoticons, please.

trashmouthtozier: never (◕ᴗ◕✿) sorry babe ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

birdy.sue: Stop.

trashmouthtozier: u think you can stop me!!!! (☉｡☉)! I have god and anime on my side ahhhhhh!!!!

birdy.sue: Shut up.

trashmouthtozier: can't, ur mom loves my voice she'll be devastated.

birdy.sue: Oh, you know big words. I wouldn't have thought.

trashmouthtozier: not as big as my dick

birdy.sue: I'm gone.

birdy.sue left the chat

trashmouthtozier: not again !!!

trashmouthtozier added birdy.sue to new friends

birdy.sue: Why didn't you add someone else?

trashmouthtozier: good idea

birdy.sue: Oh gosh.

trashmouthtozier added b_bill

birdy.sue: I'm so sorry, b_bill.

trashmouthtozier: hey!

b_bill: it's alright?

birdy.sue: You won't think that once trashmouthtozier types.

b_bill: isn't that kinda harsh?

birdy.sue: trashmouthtozier deserves it.

trashmouthtozier: i'll have you know, i am a joy to be around

birdy.sue: Keep telling yourself that.

b_bill: are you guys friends?

trashmouthtozier: yes

birdy.sue: No, definitely not.

trashmouthtozier: yes

birdy.sue: I don't even know trashmouthtozier.

trashmouthtozier: i can change that (◠‿◕)

b_bill: why was I added to the group chat?

birdy.sue: Read up, you have eyes don't you.

b_bill: that was mean

trashmouthtozier: yeah why are you so salty honeyboo

birdy.sue: Shut up.

trashmouthtozier: dont you mean *stop typing

birdy.sue: No. I don't.

trashmouthtozier: aww i thought we had something special Ó╭╮Ò

birdy.sue: Stop that.

b_bill: you guys are chaotic I like it

birdy.sue: I'm going to block you.

trashmouthtozier: but sugar pie ಥ╭╮ಥ

Chapter Text

January 3

trashmouthtozier: sup

b_bill: hello

birdy.sue: No.

trashmouthtozier: aww but babe

birdy.sue: I don't even know you.

b_bill: well then let's get to know each other! 10 questions!

birdy.sue: No.

trashmouthtozier: ooooo i wanna go first

b_bill: okay

trashmouthtozier: whats ur guys favorite color mines maroon

birdy.sue: ****what's ****your ****mine's

birdy.sue: Also, none of your business.

trashmouthtozier: grammar natzi

b_bill: blue. Why are your names birdy.sue and trashmouthtozier ??

birdy.sue: I thought theirs was obvious.

trashmouthtozier: its true i am indeed a trashmouth

birdy.sue: ****It's

b_bill: so your last name is tozier?

trashmouthtozier: yea

trashmouthtozier: why is yours birdy.sue, birdy.sue

birdy.sue: Because, I like birds? What did you think?

trashmouthtozier: oh you know,,, animal fucker

birdy.sue: EWW!!! What the FUCK?!

b_bill: oh, that's just wrong

trashmouthtozier: ah but at least i almost broke part of his or her character

birdy.sue: Shut your disgusting mouth, Tozier.

b_bill: alright so I'm just gonna change the subject

b_bill: what are your pronouns so we don't misgender you, I'm he/him

trashmouthtozier: im he/him too

birdy.sue: I'm non-binary, so they/them.

trashmouthtozier: aw shit sorry

birdy.sue: It's alright for now.

trashmouthtozier: FOR NOW ??? WHAT DOES THAG MEAN !!! b_bill help me im scared

b_bill: I don't really want to. They scare me

birdy.sue: Hmmm.

b_bill: yeah I'm not gonna help.

trashmouthtozier: i understand. i wouldn't help you either

b_bill: thanks

b_bill: so what are your names trashmouthtozier and birdy.sue mine is Bill obv

trashmouthtozier: my name's richie not gonna lie but im curious about yours birdy

birdy.sue: **I'm

birdy.sue: Like that is any of your business.

b_bill: alright

trashmouthtozier: alrighty

trashmouthtozier: what's ur favorite musical or are your favorite musicals

trashmouthtozier: mines either be more chill or a very potter the musical

birdy.sue: *Mine's

b_bill: I like a lot Hamilton, TGWDLM, the ones you typed, Dear Evan Hansen, The Trail to Oregon, Twisted, etc I like so much

birdy.sue: I like Hadestown.

trashmouthtozier: look at us being nerds.

b_bill: what is your favorite season

trashmouthtozier: i love me some summer

b_bill: I like fall or summer

birdy.sue: I like Spring.

trashmouthtozier: who is your favorite original Avenger

trashmouthtozier: i like iron man

b_bill: I like Thor or Captain America

birdy.sue: Hawkeye.

trashmouthtozier: hawkeye?! really!?

birdy.sue: What about it?

trashmouthtozier: nevermind

birdy.sue: Good.

b_bill: are we going to add anyone else ?

birdy.sue: No, gosh please no.

trashmouthtozier: fuck yeha we are!

b_bill: yeha

trashmouthtozier: shut

b_bill: So anyway, who should we add ??

trashmouthtozier: find a random username

b_bill: bowers_the_powerful?

trashmouthtozier: nah. how about mikefromthefarm?

b_bill: maybe? _spaeddie_ ?

trashmouthtozier: umm,,, librarybean

birdy.sue: Just pick one.

trashmouthtozier: OMG babe (｡♡‿♡｡) yhat is a great idea

birdy.sue: ****that

birdy.sue: It's common sense, idiot. And stop that.

trashmouthtozier: sugarplum or (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

birdy.sue: Both of them.

trashmouthtozier: like i said earlier never

b_bill: alright i think we should add librarybean

birdy.sue: Just do it.

b_bill added librarybean to new friends

librarybean: Who are you guys?

b_bill: well I'm Bill

trashmouthtozier: im sure your mom knows me very well

trashmouthtozier: im richie your new dad

birdy.sue: I regret this already.

trashmouthtozier: gasp honey bunny

birdy.sue: Shut the fuck up, Richard.

trashmouthtozier: i got you to swear !!!

librarybean: Is this normal

b_bill: from what I've seen, yes. If you want to know more just read up.

librarybean: Thank you

trashmouthtozier: (˘･_･˘) we didnt finish 10 q

birdy.sue: **didn't ***questions

birdy.sue: I don't care.

trashmouthtozier: but dear

birdy.sue: I'm not your dear.

trashmouthtozier: i see ,,, you've been cheating on me!

birdy.sue: We don't know each other and we're not dating.

trashmouthtozier: i thought we had something special !!!

birdy.sue: We don't.

trashmouthtozier: w(°ｏ°)w

birdy.sue: Stop that!

librarybean: Bill is right, you people are chaotic. Mostly Richie though.

librarybean: Where is he anyway?

b_bill: I've just been watching

librarybean: Okay. Can I answer those questions for 10 questions?

birdy.sue: Sure, whatever.

trashmouthtozier: sweety are you ok

birdy.sue: Shut your mouth.

trashmouthtozier: cant, im at your moms she's really excited

birdy.sue: *can't *I'm *mom's

birdy.sue: Shut.

trashmouthtozier: but baby cakes

birdy.sue: Stop, please.

trashmouthtozier: only because you begged, little birdy

b_bill: so are you guys done or???

birdy.sue: I hope.

librarybean: My favorite color is aquamarine, I'm in the library a lot, he/him, Ben, Percy Jackson the Musical, Spring or fall, and Bruce Banner or the Hulk

trashmouthtozier: niceee

b_bill: are we going to continue 10 questions?

birdy.sue: Eh.

trashmouthtozier: they typed it folks lets do this

birdy.sue: *let's

librarybean: What are your ages? Cause I don't want to be talking to really old people or pedophiles or anything like that. I'm 17

trashmouthtozier: yall im 17

birdy.sue: **y'all

b_bill: I'm 17

trashmouthtozier: tell us ur age birdy its the least you could do since ya didnt tell us ur namr

birdy.sue: *your *it's *didn't *your *name

birdy.sue: That was a train wreck.

birdy.sue: And I'm 16.

trashmouthtozier: OMG we have a baby in the chat guys!

birdy.sue: Shut up.

b_bill: you know birdy.sue, you've typed shut and shut up a lot.

birdy.sue: Whatever.

trashmouthtozier: what's your sexuality ? im pan

birdy.sue: I'm not going to answer.

b_bill: I'm bi

librarybean: I'm straight

trashmouthtozier: look at all of us being queer except bennyboy

librarybean: I'm an ally though

b_bill: that is okay, son

librarybean: Are you my dad now, Bill?

b_bill: if you want me to be, I'll be your father figure

librarybean: Thank you, dad.

b_bill: Son •́  ‿ ,•̀

librarybean: Dad (´；ω；｀)

trashmouthtozier: don't you mean daddy (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

birdy.sue: The moment got ruined the second you typed, Richard.

trashmouthtozier: hey!

trashmouthtozier: so do you have siblings i don't

librarybean: No I don't

birdy.sue: I'm an only child.

b_bill: I have a little brother, his name is Georgie.

librarybean: How old is he?

b_bill: he's 12

librarybean: awww!! That's darling!

trashmouthtozier: that is pretty cute

Chapter Text

January 4

trashmouthtozier: heya beuaitifuls

birdy.sue: *beautifuls

birdy.sue: Richard it is 3 in the morning where I'm at. Message later.

librarybean: Hello!!

b_bill: you are an absolute sweetheart Ben

trashmouthtozier: its 3 am where im at too!!!

trashmouthtozier: does that mean we have the same time zones

birdy.sue: *it's *I'm

b_bill: same

librarybean: Me too!

trashmouthtozier: no shit !! does that mean we all live in the eastern states ????

birdy.sue: What are you even doing up this early?

trashmouthtozier: what are you even doing up this early

birdy.sue: I was asleep.

b_bill: I like how you still have perfect grammar right as when you wake up

birdy.sue: Seriously, why are you guys up this early?

librarybean: I was reading

trashmouthtozier: nerd

b_bill: your a nerd too, Richie

birdy.sue: *you're

b_bill: thanks

birdy.sue: You're welcome?

b_bill: anyway I woke up an hour ago because of vomit

b_bill: I'm sick

librarybean: Awww are you okay now??

b_bill: well, I'm still sick and I'm not vomiting anymore, so, I say I'm doing fine

trashmouthtozier: was vomit coming out of your nose

b_bill: fuck yeah, it was

birdy.sue: Ew, what the fuck, Richard!

birdy.sue: What were you reading about, Ben?

librarybean: I was reading some stories about missing people and deaths in the town I moved into

trashmouthtozier: are you emo ben ??

librarybean: I don't think so?

birdy.sue: I'm going to sleep.

birdy.sue: Goodnight.

trashmouthtozier: you know we still don't know birdy's name

trashmouthtozier: what do you think it is

trashmouthtozier: beautiful? gorgeous? the love of my life?

b_bill: real names richie

librarybean: I think we should just ask them later

librarybean: Type you when it's not early morning

b_bill: type you later Ben

librarybean: Night dad and Richie

b_bill: goodnight, my son

trashmouthtozier: *daddy

b_bill: to quote birdy "what the fuck richard"

trashmouthtozier: did birdy quote a vine ?!

b_bill: oh my gosh! did they ?! did I just quote birdy quoting a vine !?

b_bill: they didn't seem to be the type

trashmouthtozier: ikr

b_bill: why are you up anyway ?

trashmouthtozier: i was smoking weed cause insomnias a bitch

b_bill: sorry about that

b_bill: you want me to keep talking to you

trashmouthtozier: nah go to bed, daddy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

b_bill: you know what, I'm leaving

b_bill: night Richie

trashmouthtozier: night boo

January 5

2:12 a.m.

trashmouthtozier: HOW DOES A RAGTAG VOLUNTEER IN NEED OF A SHOWER

trashmouthtozier: SOMEHOW DEFEAT A GLOBAL SUPERPOWER

b_bill: how do we emerge victorious from the quagmire?

trashmouthtozier: LEAVE THE BATTLEFIELD WAVING BETSY ROSS' FLAG HIGHER

librarybean: Yo. Turns out we have a secret weapon!

b_bill: an immigrant you know and love who's unafraid to step in

trashmouthtozier: HE'S CONSTANTLY CONFUSIN' CONFOUNDIN' THE BRITISH HENCHMEN

librarybean: Everyone give it up for America's favorite Frenchman

trashmouthtozier: LAFAYETTE

b_bill: I'm takin' this horse by the reins makin' redcoats redder with bloodstains

trashmouthtozier: LAFAYETTE

librarybean: Lafayette!

b_bill: and I'm never gonna stop until I make 'em drop and burn 'em up and scatter their remains I'm-

trashmouthtozier: LAFAYETTE

b_bill: watch me engagin' 'em escapin' 'em enragin' 'em i'm

librarybean: Lafayette!

b_bill: I go to France for more funds

trashmouthtozier: LAFAYETTE

b_bill: I come back with more guns

b_bill: and ships and so the balance shifts

librarybean: We rendezvous with Rochambeau, consolidate their gifts

trashmouthtozier: we can end this war at yorktown cut them off at sea but for this to succeed there is someone else we need

librarybean: I know

trashmouthtozier: HAMILTON

librarybean: Hamilton!

b_bill: sir, he knows what to do in a trench ingenuitive and fluent in french I mean

librarybean: Hamilton!

trashmouthtozier: HAMILTON

b_bill: sir you gonna have to use him eventually what's he gonna do on the bench I mean

trashmouthtozier: HAMILTON

b_bill: no one has more resilience or matches my practical tactical brilliance

librarybean: Hamilton!

b_bill: you wanna fight for your land back

trashmouthtozier: HAMILTON

librarybean: I need my right hand man back

trashmouthtozier: HAMILTON

librarybean: Yeah

b_bill: get your right hand man back you know you gotta get your right hand man back

trashmouthtozier: HAMILTON

b_bill: I mean you gotta put some thought into the letter

trashmouthtozier: HAMILTON

b_bill: but the sooner the better

trashmouthtozier: HAMILTON

b_bill: to get your right hand man back

librarybean: Alexander Hamilton troops are waiting in the field for you

librarybean: If you join us right now together we can turn the tide

trashmouthtozier: OH ALEXANDER HAMILTON

librarybean: I have soldiers that will yield for you

trashmouthtozier: IF WE MANAGE TO GET THIS RIGHT THEY'LL SURRENDER BY EARLY LIGHT

librarybean: The world will never be the same

b_bill: Alexander~

birdy.sue: Well, you guys had a great time blowing up my phone.

trashmouthtozier: it's not the only thing i can blow

birdy.sue: Dude.

trashmouthtozier: tgey did it gusy i broke thriugh more ot thr facade! ! !

birdy.sue: *they *guys * through *of *their

b_bill: how did you even know that???

birdy.sue: I have many gifts, William.

b_bill: how did you know my name is William

birdy.sue: Most people with the nickname Bill are named William. And you just told me so.

b_bill: damn

librarybean: What even ?

trashmouthtozier: look at my baby boy being smart

birdy.sue: I'm not your boy.

trashmouthtozier: oh I see baby girl

birdy.sue: Stop.

trashmouthtozier: fuck did i get out of line there? i'm sorry boo

birdy.sue: Can you feel my eye roll through the screen?

trashmouthtozier: damn babe your so sassy

trashmouthtozier: that's making me horny

librarybean: Alright, I did not need to know that!

b_bill: I didn't want to know that

birdy.sue: Why are you like this, Richie?

librarybean: I can feel the exasperation through my phone

b_bill: I just noticed something

b_bill: we know each other's first names except birdy's and we know Richie's full name

librarybean: Our names are pretty common too

birdy.sue: What about it?

trashmouthtozier: can you tell us your name birdy!?

birdy.sue: No.

b_bill: please!

librarybean: Pretty please with a cherry on top!

birdy.sue: Are you going to add anyone else to the chat?

trashmouthtozier: that's a subject change if ive ever seen one

birdy.sue: *I've

librarybean: I understand that you don't want to tell us your name. I'm sorry I pushed you.

b_bill: my heart (〒﹏〒)

birdy.sue: Oof.

trashmouthtozier: ben broke more of the facade !!!

birdy.sue: I was going to tell you my name, but then Richie commented.

b_bill: GODDAMMIT Richie!!!!

trashmouthtozier: i'm soryr pls forrgiv me !!!

birdy.sue: *sorry *forgive

trashmouthtozier: it's alright sweetheart i forgive you

birdy.sue: Yeah, now I'm definitely not telling you.

b_bill: RICHIE!

trashmouthtozier: i'm sorry !! i'll stop !!

librarybean: So I found another user their username is _spaeddie_

b_bill: alright

trashmouthtozier: oooo new person!

birdy.sue: Just add them.

librarybean added _spaeddie_ to new friends

9:23 a.m.

_spaeddie_: What the fuck?! Why am I here!? What is going on?!

Chapter Text

January 5

9:24 a.m.

birdy.sue: Read up, Bitch.

b_bill: well damn okay

trashmouthtozier: birdy is so salty

birdy.sue: Be quiet.

librarybean: You know, I know of a Richie Tozier at my school.

b_bill: same

trashmouthtozier: really !!! awesome! do you think we go to the same school

birdy.sue: Most likely, not.

b_bill: birdy you are a pessimist

_spaeddie_: The fuck is wrong with you people?! You shouldn't tell strangers information about yourself?! You could all be serial killers and none of us would know!

trashmouthtozier: i like to live on the edge

b_bill: and if anyone is a serial killer it'd be birdy.sue

trashmouthtozier: tru

birdy.sue: That is not true! If anyone is a serial killer it'd be Tozier.

trashmouthtozier: hey !! also you didn't even spell check me

trashmouthtozier: im free

birdy.sue: *I'm

trashmouthtozier: fuck i shouldn't have jinxed myself

b_bill: you really shouldn't have

librarybean: I thought you knew better, Richie

librarybean: You've known them longer than we have

trashmouthtozier: you guys are right

_spaeddie_: You know what I don't think you guys are serial killers anymore

librarybean: Thank god

_spaeddie_: Do I also have to answer the questions for 10 questions cause I don't want to.

birdy.sue: I didn't have to so you don't either.

b_bill: you should probably tell us your name or nickname so that we dont keep calling you by your username like birdy

birdy.sue: *don't

_spaeddie_: My nickname is Eddie

trashmouthtozier: eddie spaghetti !!

_spaeddie_: MOTHERFUCKER DON'T CALL ME THAT

trashmouthtozier: did you hear us through the walls last night

birdy.sue: Richie, don't you dare.

_spaeddie_: Who?

trashmouthtozier: your mom and me

_spaeddie_: Bitch.

b_bill: you walked right into that Eddie

librarybean: You really did

birdy.sue: I guess, I really am… going to have to kill you, Tozier.

trashmouthtozier: shit sorry birdy!!!!

birdy.sue: Sorry is not going to cut it.

librarybean: Is Richie gonna die dad?

b_bill: I guess so son I guess so

trashmouthtozier: it was an accident

birdy.sue: How do you accidentally make a joke like that?

trashmouthtozier: it happens when im in need of love

birdy.sue: *I'm

trashmouthtozier: ur so cold birdy

birdy.sue: *you're

b_bill: damn

_spaeddie_: You people are freaks

trashmouthtozier: dam right i am

librarybean: Was that a Percy Jackson reference?

birdy.sue: I don't think he really cares.

trashmouthtozier: when are we going to do a face reveal

birdy.sue: Never, if I can help it.

b_bill: next week???

librarybean: Oh that'll be fun!!!

b_bill: you, my boy, are an angel

librarybean: No dad, you're the angel

trashmouthtozier: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

b_bill: oh son

_spaeddie_: like I said freaks

trashmouthtozier: dont call the fagher son duo freaks

birdy.sue: *don't *father

trashmouthtozier: that looks sexual

trashmouthtozier: like what your mom and i did last night

birdy.sue: Stop that, right now.

b_bill: yk I remember Birdy quoting a vine earlier

librarybean: I read back and they definitely did

trashmouthtozier: aw birdy is a memer

birdy.sue: No, Bitch, I'm not.

trashmouthtozier: perfect grammar even when cursing

trashmouthtozier: you are my soulmate

birdy.sue: The fuck, no.

b_bill: oh yeah, Eddie what are your pronouns so we don't mess up

_spaeddie_: He/him

trashmouthtozier: what's ur sexuality

_spaeddie_: none of ur fucking business

trashmouthtozier: what if i wantxd to yiu know

librarybean: Birdy didn't spell check Rich or Eddie, where are they

trashmouthtozier: oh didn't you know

_spaeddie_: Know what

trashmouthtozier: they are sucking my dick

birdy.sue: *your *wanted *you

birdy.sue: No, the fuck, I'm not.

b_bill: Birdy just came swooping in

librarybean: Like an eagle

librarybean: Or an owl

trashmouthtozier: where were you birdy

birdy.sue: I was trying to study.

trashmouthtozier: why are you studying so early

birdy.sue: I want a good grade, Tozier.

trashmouthtozier: nerd

birdy.sue: You're a nerd too, Tozier.

trashmouthtozier: i don't study

birdy.sue: Really, do you have bad grades? Because, I could understand that.

trashmouthtozier: nah i have straight A's

birdy.sue: You're lying.

trashmouthtozier: im not

birdy.sue: *I'm

b_bill: the Richie at my school is always at the top of his classes

librarybean: Mine too!

_spaeddie_: You have a Richie at your school too? Is his name also Richie Tozier.

trashmouthtozier: maybe we all really do go to the same school

birdy.sue: No way.

b_bill: do you also have a Richie at ur school

birdy.sue: *your

birdy.sue: I only focus on my studies. So, even if I did have a Richie at my school I wouldn't even know.

trashmouthtozier: does that mean i could find all of you if i looked hard enough

birdy.sue: Did you just ignore me? Thank goodness.

trashmouthtozier: aw baby i didn't mean to ignore you

birdy.sue: Shut up.

librarybean: I have to go eat breakfast bye friends and dad !

b_bill: i gotta eat soup ttyl son and friends

birdy.sue: I'm going to study now, don't message in the group chat for a few hours.

trashmouthtozier: alrighty mate

birdy.sue: What did I just type?

1:27 p.m.

trashmouthtozier: it's been sooo long

birdy.sue: It's been 3 hours.

trashmouthtozier: yeah a looong time

trashmouthtozier: like my dick ;-)

_spaeddie_: That doesn't even make sense

b_bill: Why the face?

trashmouthtozier: why not the face

trashmouthtozier: also why were you studying for so long birdy

birdy.sue: Because, I need to remember. School is tomorrow.

trashmouthtozier: shit! I need to restock my weed brb

birdy.sue:

b_bill: I can feel the disappointment through the phone

_spaeddie_: Same

Chapter Text

Monday 7:46 a.m.

b_bill: are any of you guys not going to school today? except Birdy

librarybean: I can stay home to talk to you

b_bill: no son, go to school and get an education

librarybean: Okay dad

_spaeddie_: im going to a public school where all the germs are

b_bill: are you a germophobe Eddie

birdy.sue: *I'm *germaphobe

b_bill: thanks Birdy

librarybean: Don't you guys find it weird that Richie hadn't texted yet?

b_bill: it is pretty peaceful

_spaeddie_: Of course it is

birdy.sue: It always is when Tozier isn't here.

b_bill: true

birdy.sue: I'm going to go now, I won't be messaging in the group chat for a few hours. I'm turning my notifications off.

librarybean: Okay, talk to you later!

b_bill: ttyl

_spaeddie_: Yeah bye

librarybean: Are you still sick, Bill?

b_bill: yeah

librarybean: How long have you been sick?

b_bill: a few days after Christmas

librarybean: That sucks, I'm sorry you have to go through that.

b_bill: you are an angel

_spaeddie_: Do you have a fever?

_spaeddie_: You could have a chronic fever! You need to go to the hospital Bill!

_spaeddie_: You could have the flu or influenza!

b_bill: I have a cold

_spaeddie_: Have you been taking your medicine?

_bill_: well yeah

_spaeddie_: :) good

librarybean: Text you later guys, I have to go to school.

_spaeddie_: Shit! I'm going to be late! See ya!

b_bill: bye !

b_bill: where is Richie?

b_bill: it's 8:15, Richie

b_bill: I'mma spam him

b_bill made a group chat

b_bill named the group chat WAKE UP RICHIE

b_bill added trashmouthtozier

b_bill: Richie

b_bill: Richie

b_bill: Richie

b_bill: Richie

b_bill: Richie

b_bill: Richie

b_bill: Rich

b_bill: Richie

b_bill: Richard

b_bill: Rich

b_bill: Richie

b_bill: Richard

b_bill: oooo

b_bill: Rich

b_bill: Richie

b_bill: Richard

b_bill: Rich

b_bill: Richie

b_bill: Richard

b_bill: aaaa

b_bill: Rich

b_bill: Richie

b_bill: Richard

trashmouthtozier: what?

b_bill: you're late for school

trashmouthtozier: shit guess im gonna skip

b_bill: alright

trashmouthtozier: do you think we actually go to the same school?

b_bill: yeah dude

b_bill: we might actually be in the same class

trashmouthtozier: well, we could just tell each other our state n city/town right now

b_bill: we could but I want to do a reveal

trashmouthtozier: fine

b_bill: did you restock your weed

trashmouthtozier: ya

b_bill: nice

trashmouthtozier: do you think birdy is just putting on a show

b_bill: I wouldn't know, I mean I don't even know their name

trashmouthtozier: tru

trashmouthtozier: what do you think they look like ??

b_bill: human

trashmouthtozier: very beautiful

b_bill: do you have a crush on them ?? you don't even know their name! or what they like

trashmouthtozier: psh nO

b_bill: well that wasn't convincing at all

trashmouthtozier: i might have a crush on them

b_bill: that was easy

b_bill changed the WAKE UP RICHIE to Richie's Crushin'

trashmouthtozier: i like what you did there ayy

b_bill: ayy

11:46 a.m.

new friends

trashmouthtozier: how tall are you guys ?

birdy.sue: Why does it matter?

trashmouthtozier: i just wanna know

_spaeddie_: Why?

trashmouthtozier: because

b_bill: good enough how tall are you Richie

trashmouthtozier: 5'10

b_bill: 5'7"

librarybean: 5'2"

trashmouthtozier: omg ur so short!

birdy.sue: *you're

_spaeddie_: I'm 5'6"

trashmouthtozier: what about you babe

birdy.sue: Whom?

trashmouthtozier: you my dear

birdy.sue: None of your business.

librarybean: Please! We barely know anything about you!

b_bill: look at my son

birdy.sue: Fine, I'm 5'8".

trashmouthtozier: im the tallest!

birdy.sue: *I'm

b_bill: are we done adding people

trashmouthtozier: no!

b_bill: ohh

_spaeddie_: Can I pick who?

birdy.sue: Sure, make it quick.

trashmouthtozier: babe's impatient

birdy.sue: Shut it, I need to get to my next class soon.

trashmouthtozier: are any of you guys vegetarians?

b_bill: no

_spaeddie_: no?

librarybean: Not really

trashmouthtozier: aight

birdy.sue: What was that about?

trashmouthtozier: nothing just curious

_spaeddie_: I found someone

birdy.sue: Just add them.

_spaeddie_ added mikefromthefarm to new friends

trashmouthtozier: guys i think mike is from a farm

birdy.sue: No shit, Captain Obvious.

trashmouthtozier: hello to you too sergeant sarcasm

mikefromthefarm: you guys are cool.

trashmouthtozier: hey it's mike!

mikefromthefarm: i don't know you.

trashmouthtozier: are you sure? i could have sworn i was with you last night

birdy.sue: Shut your mouth Tozier, or I'll strangle you.

trashmouthtozier: kinky

birdy.sue: That's it.

trashmouthtozier: nvmd im sorry

birdy.sue: *I'm

birdy.sue: That's what I thought.

mikefromthefarm: are they always like this?

b_bill: yeah pretty much

mikefromthefarm: are you guys friends? why was I added?

_spaeddie_: You could read up if you want

mikefromthefarm: thanks ig.

_spaeddie_: No problem

birdy.sue: I'm going to class now, bye.

librarybean: Bye Birdy!!! Bye guys!

b_bill: see u

trashmouthtozier: see ya darling and bennyboy!

_spaeddie_: ttyl guys

trashmouthtozier: bye eds

_spaeddie_: DON'T CALL ME THAT

trashmouthtozier: what eds

_spaeddie_: THAT

trashmouthtozier: eds?

_spaeddie_: YES EDS

trashmouthtozier: alright eds

_spaeddie_: UGH

b_bill: that was entertaining

trashmouthtozier: glad u liked it

mikefromthefarm: Bill I think that everyone agrees with you and Ben that Richie is chaotic. also I'm 5'7" and 18.

b_bill: yeah dude!

12:09 p.m.

Richie's Crushin'

b_bill added mikefromthefarm to Richie's Crushin'

mikefromthefarm: is Richie crushing on Eddie?

b_bill: no

mikefromthefarm: oh then Birdy

b_bill: yep

trashmouthtozier: KHvcaihscvia

b_bill: that is a disgusting keyboard smash

mikefromthefarm: it's hideous

trashmouthtozier: ill try again

b_bill: you do that

trashmouthtozier: ALFDCSGO

b_bill: it looks a little bit better but that's not gonna cut it

trashmouthtozier: fuck! AUDStzjgatdTdDsdyzayd

b_bill: I give up

b_bill: I have no hope in you

trashmouthtozier: understandable

mikefromthefarm: :O

trashmouthtozier: Mike did the face!

b_bill: :|

trashmouthtozier: ;-)

mikefromthefarm: Why the nose?

trashmouthtozier: cause

mikefromthefarm: alright

b_bill: y'all guess owjvdgvhiwdgcijqbx

trashmouthtozier: that was ugly

b_bill: bitch I was choking

trashmouthtozier: on my dick

b_bill: no on saliva asshole

mikefromthefarm: I have to go bye guys

b_bill: bye

trashmouthtozier: bye dude

b_bill: what is ur fav emoji

trashmouthtozier: mine is the 💦 or 🍑 or 🍆

b_bill: I knew it. why did I even ask

trashmouthtozier: i don't know why did you

b_bill: idk Richie!

trashmouthtozier: `∆°

b_bill: what the fuck is that

trashmouthtozier: my life bill

b_bill: that doesn't even make sense Richie!

trashmouthtozier: ofc it does bill

b_bill: I'm outta here bye

trashmouthtozier: don't you mean bi

b_bill: shut up Richie!

11:24 p.m.

new friends

trashmouthtozier: sup losers except my sweet Birdy

birdy.sue: Go to hell, Tozier.

mikefromthefarm: damn, alright?

librarybean: Are you going to go to sleep tonight Richie?

trashmouthtozier: nah

b_bill: alright

_spaeddie_: Mike what are your pronouns?

mikefromthefarm: he/him

trashmouthtozier: we only have guys and our nb pal birdy

trashmouthtozier: don't you guys think we need a new person in here

b_bill: we just added Mike maybe tomorrow

_spaeddie_: I agree with Bill

librarybean: Guys I think Birdy is asleep

mikefromthefarm: it is late and from what I read they care about their studies and school

_spaeddie_: night guys

librarybean: Goodnight Eddie!

b_bill: goodnight son

librarybean: Night dad!

trashmouthtozier: *daddy

b_bill: night! Richie!

trashmouthtozier: night daddy

librarybean: what does daddy mean anyway

trashmouthtozier: night benny!

11:31 p.m.

librarybean: I searched up what it meant and I think I went to some place I shouldn't have I'm traumatized. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight.

Chapter Text

Tuesday 1:27 a.m.

new friends

trashmouthtozier added bevharley to new friends

trashmouthtozier: sup bev

bevharley: hello to you to stranger

trashmouthtozier: i like you already

bevharley: niceee

trashmouthtozier: are you still up ben?

librarybean: Yeah

trashmouthtozier: did it really traumatize you?

librarybean: You have no idea what I saw Richie! So many horrible things!

trashmouthtozier: what things

librarybean: I don't really want to talk about it, but I have to to get over it.

trashmouthtozier: that you do

librarybean: BDSM! Daddy and Babyboy! My life flashed before my eyes! I couldn't deal with it anymore so I closed the site!

trashmouthtozier: lmao

librarybean: It's not funny Richie!

bevharley: it kinda is

librarybean: Not you too, Bev!

trashmouthtozier: oh yeah bev what do we call you what are ur pronouns and sexuality

librarybean: You can't just… nevermind.

bevharley: well you can call me Bev like you've been doing or Beverly my pronouns are she/her and my sexuality is bi

trashmouthtozier: awesome did you read up

bevharley: ye

librarybean: Why are you up so early, Bev?

bevharley: smoking obv

trashmouthtozier: same, we could be smoking buddies!

bevharley: omg yes

trashmouthtozier: we could add bill too!

librarybean: Bill smokes!?

trashmouthtozier: i mean i think so ill ask him later

librarybean: Alright

bevharley: have you guys seen Into the Spider Verse?

trashmouthtozier: fuck yeah i did!

librarybean: It was awesome!

bevharley: ikr!

librarybean: Have you guys seen JoJo's Bizarre Adventure?

trashmouthtozier: yes! dude it was GREAT!

bevharley: fuck yeah it was! each story was different and had a different art style

librarybean: Jotaro's styles changed so much!

trashmouthtozier: it was weird as fuck how different he looked when he appeared in part 4 n 5

bevharley: who else was really disgusted when the fishing hook went in Mista's arm?

librarybean: My least favorite part in part 5 had to be when Giorno almost dies

trashmouthtozier: but he almost dies in like every episode

librarybean: yes

bevharley: my favorite fight in part 5 is when Giorno and Mista fight Green Day/Cioccolata

trashmouthtozier: i love that fight

librarybean: Who else ships Giorno and Mista?

bevharley: bitch yas

trashmouthtozier: and bruno and abbacchio

bevharley: Yas boo! who else thinks that Abbacchio is a bottom

librarybean: I think they switch

trashmouthtozier: omg i want me a bruno

bevharley: same

librarybean: Who else was disappointed but happy that Joseph cheated?

trashmouthtozier: if it never happened we wouldn't have josuke and id be sadder

bevharley: same bro

librarybean: My favorite villain was Kira

bevharley: i respect that

trashmouthtozier: same but i love dio!

bevharley: oh worm?

_spaeddie_: Stop it guys I want to sleep!

bevharley: turn off ur notifications

_spaeddie_: Fine but go to sleep

trashmouthtozier: sure whatever

_spaeddie_: JUST GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!!!

trashmouthtozier: alright gosh!

bevharley: good morning!

librarybean: good night

trashmouthtozier: night bae and benny

6:57 a.m.

new friends

birdy.sue: You had a great time this morning.

b_bill: do any of you dudes think that they're amused?

_spaeddie_: fuck yeah I do!

trashmouthtozier: ugh

b_bill: what's wrong trashmouth?

trashmouthtozier: school is today

b_bill: and?

trashmouthtozier: i don't wanna go!

birdy.sue: Who cares, go anyway.

trashmouthtozier: as you wish

Richie's Crushin'

b_bill: did you just quote the Princess Bride?

trashmouthtozier: yAh

mikefromthefarm: pft

new friends

bevharley: did you quote the Princess bride?

Richie's Crushin'

b_bill added bevharley to Richie's Crushin'

bevharley: let me guess Birdy?

trashmouthtozier: how'd u know!?

bevharley: it's p obvious from what ive read

trashmouthtozier: damn it

mikefromthefarm: ha

new friends

_spaeddie_: fucking ofc he did

trashmouthtozier: what does that mean?

_spaeddie_: nothing u oblivious fuck

birdy.sue: *you

trashmouthtozier: anyway, i had a dream where every anime ive seen came together with not anime characters and normal humans and threw a party

bevharley: what kinda party

trashmouthtozier: it was at a water park

birdy.sue: *I've *waterpark

librarybean: Was that all it was about?

trashmouthtozier: yeah it was mostly people partying but at the beginning of the dream i was like five characters

_spaeddie_: uh, weird dream.

trashmouthtozier: right?

b_biil: when i was younger I had a dream about me running away from these men in black

librarybean: Awhile ago I had a dream where I was running away but then I started befriending the Titans from Attack on Titan.

bevharley: I had a dream where I was Luffy it was weird

_spaeddie_: I had a nightmare were my hands never got washed completely and I kept trying to wash them

mikefromthefarm: my dream had sheep in our backyard and I started talking to the sheep and they started talking back.

bevharley: what about you Birdy?

birdy.sue: I had a dream that shadow monsters were coming out of my backyard and I was running away from them.

b_bill: that got dark pretty fast

librarybean: Are you okay Birdy?

birdy.sue: Define okay.

Richie's Crushin'

b_bill: Richie I think that Birdy might be emo

trashmouthtozier: shizzballs

trashmouthtozier: i love them anyway

4:53 p.m.

new friends

trashmouthtozier: do you like day more or night more?

bevharley: It depends.

b_bill: do you mean the scenery or the weather or the sky

trashmouthtozier: any

b_bill: I like the day time cause it's not so quiet

mikefromthefarm: I like the nighttime because it is quieter

bevharley: I don't know dude

librarybean: Me neither

_spaeddie_: same

birdy.sue: I like the night time, because I'm left alone to my thoughts.

trashmouthtozier: should we do the face reveal a week from when i started the group chat?

b_bill: fuck ueah

trashmouthtozier: ueah

bevharley: ueah

_spaeddie_: ueah

mikefromthefarm: ueah

librarybean: ueah

b_bill: betrayed by my own son! at least Birdy didn't do it

birdy.sue: Of course, I didn't.

Chapter Text

Wednesday 12:05 a.m.

trashmouthtozier: what do you give a cannibal who's late for dinner?

bevharley: what?

trashmouthtozier: a cold shoulder

bevharley: that's so bad

trashmouthtozier: Why is a man like a snowstorm?

trashmouthtozier: Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.

_spaeddie_: I hate ur jokes

bevharley: they are kind of bad

_spaeddie_: Kind of? Kind of?! They're horrible! And disgusting!

birdy.sue: *your

birdy.sue: Hey, Edward. Stop being a jerk and go to sleep.

_spaeddie_: fine

Richie's Crushin'

trashmouthtozier: birdy defended me!

bevharley: you can die happy now can't you

trashmouthtozier: fuck yeah i can!

new friends

bevharley: what are you doing up, Birdy?

birdy.sue: Couldn't sleep.

trashmouthtozier: but the baby needs sleep!

birdy.sue: 

birdy.sue: Night.

trashmouthtozier: aw i wanted to talk more

birdy.sue: Sucks to be you.

trashmouthtozier: sucking is my specialty

birdy.sue: Beep beep, Tozier.

trashmouthtozier: alrighty hun! night birdy! bev!

bevharley: night!

7:08 a.m.

trashmouthtozier: who else thinks that luther from umbrella academy is a little bitch?

b_bill: yeah he's a bitch

librarybean: I just think that he is emotionally stunted like his sibs

birdy.sue: Did you binge watch Umbrella Academy?

trashmouthtozier: yes! fuck it was great!

bevharley: my favorite character is Mom

librarybean: Right!

_spaeddie_: She's great, I love her

trashmouthtozier: i didn't know you were into moms dude

_spaeddie_: I'm not!

trashmouthtozier: ya sure

_spaeddie_: I'm pretty fucking sure bastard

trashmouthtozier: ill have you know my parents were married when they had me

birdy.sue: *I'll

b_bill: my favorite character is obv Klaus

trashmouthtozier: dude! same!

mikefromthefarm: mine is ben

trashmouthtozier: i love ben!

librarybean: Oh my goodness I love him too!

b_bill: I think we all love him

trashmouthtozier: birdy's favorite character is most likely five

bevharley: they do seem like they would love him

b_bill: is he your favorite character?

birdy.sue: *sigh* Yeah.

b_bill: did you just type sigh?

birdy.sue: What about it?

b_bill: nothing Birdy

birdy.sue: That's what I thought.

trashmouthtozier: damn birdy being in charge is making me horny

birdy.sue: Beep beep, Richard.

trashmouthtozier: you never call me Richie!

trashmouthtozier: why won't you?

birdy.sue: Well, I don't know you.

trashmouthtozier: that's it? I can help u with that ;-)

birdy.sue: *you

birdy.sue: No, stop.

trashmouthtozier: stop what? :-|

birdy.sue: The face with the nose.

Richie's Crushin'

mikefromthefarm: did u notice they didn't say for him to stop with the horny jokes?

b_bill: yeah! omg they like him too!

bevharley: are you fanboying Bill?

b_bill: ye

new friends

trashmouthtozier: you mean this :-D

birdy.sue: Yes, stop that.

trashmouthtozier: but i thought you liked this

birdy.sue: I never liked it. What are you on?

trashmouthtozier: do you really want to know? :^)

birdy.sue: Nevermind.

b_bill: so anyway I'm going to school today

librarybean: That's great, Dad!

b_bill: aw son

_spaeddie_: Have you been taking your medicine?

b_bill: ye

_spaeddie_: Good, are you wearing a face mask?

b_bill: no but I will if that'll make you feel better

_spaeddie_: It would!

b_bill: alright I will

trashmouthtozier: aw billiam you loooove him

bevharley: Billiam

mikefromthefarm: Billiam

b_bill: My name is Billiam now

b_bill changed b_bill to Billiam

birdy.sue: Don't encourage him.

Billiam: I'm sorry Birdy but it's so beautiful

mikefromthefarm: like you?

Billiam: dyigdihgsusv

trashmouthtozier: mike's flirting! im so proud!

birdy.sue: *I'm

birdy.sue: You didn't do anything?

librarybean: We can change our names? Yay

librarybean changed librarybean to Ben

_spaeddie_ changed _spaeddie_ to Eddie

mikefromthefarm changed mikefromthefarm to michawl

bevharley: is your name spelled like that?

michawl: no I misspelled it

Billiam: nice

birdy.sue: I'm going to school now, bye.

Eddie: Ttyl

Ben: See ya!

Billiam: son you are beautiful

Ben: ty dad!

trashmouthtozier: see ya honeybun!

birdy.sue: Richard.

Richie's Crushin'

michawl: they didn't deny it

Billiam: ayy

bevharley: which is adorable

new friends

trashmouthtozier: can i get your numbers?

Eddie: no?

trashmouthtozier: why not?

Eddie: I'm not giving my number to a stranger

trashmouthtozier: but we're not strangers!

Eddie: not gonna do it

trashmouthtozier: next time you will

Eddie: no?

trashmouthtozier: darn

11:27 a.m.

Richie's Crushin'

bevharley: do u guys know birdy's name?

trashmouthtozier: i wish

bevharley: I really want to know

michawl: same

Billiam: I could ask.

Billiam: it won't work tho

new friends

Billiam: what's your name Birdy?

birdy.sue: I'm not going to tell you.

Billiam: but Birdy!

birdy.sue: Hmm.

birdy.sue: Maybe, later.

Richie's Crushin'

Billiam: how?!

trashmouthtozier: they said yes!

bevharley: you guys have been asking them for awhile and they finally agreed!

michawl: this is so weird

new friends

Billiam: yes!

trashmouthtozier: woooohoooooo!

Eddie: I'm so happy rn and I don't know why!

Ben: Omg we're almost there!

michawl: how yhe frick

birdy.sue: *the

birdy.sue: I have been thinking about it. You guys keep asking me, and Birdy is getting old.

trashmouthtozier: WHEN are you gonna tell us?

birdy.sue: Maybe, tomorrow.

trashmouthtozier: HECK YEAH BOYS!!! WE'RE PARTYING TONIGHT!

birdy.sue: I typed 'maybe', Tozier.

trashmouthtozier: doesn't matter! u agreed!

birdy.sue: *you

birdy.sue: No, I didn't.

1:47 p.m.

Billiam: should we set a time or are we gonna do it at a random time?

Ben: Do what?

Billiam: our reveal

Ben: After school?

trashmouthtozier: i wanna do it as soon as possible man

birdy.sue: You're at school, in the middle of class, why are you on your phones?

Billiam: the teacher let us have free time

Ben: Same! I really think we go to the same school!

birdy.sue: Highly unlikely.

trashmouthtozier: i skipped

trashmouthtozier: and you're such a downer birdy

birdy.sue: *realistic

trashmouthtozier: no downer

birdy.sue: Realistic.

trashmouthtozier: downer

birdy.sue: Realistic.

trashmouthtozier: a realistic downer

birdy.sue: Sure.

trashmouthtozier: u agreed!

birdy.sue: *you

Billiam: I don't think they did

trashmouthtozier: anyway what's you energy

bevharley: what?

michawl: are you talking about neutral, chaotic and lawful?

trashmouthtozier: heck yeah!

Ben: How did you know?!

michawl: I've seen too many things on pinterest

bevharley: oh you poor child!

Eddie: How do we even do this?

Billiam: Richie is definitely chaotic

Ben: What kind of chaotic?

Billiam: just straight up chaotic

Eddie: I agree

bevharley: same

michawl: right!

bevharley: Ben would be neutral good?

Billiam: seems legit

Ben: I think so?

trashmouthtozier: are you sure?

Ben: Now, I am.

Eddie: pfft

michawl: Eddie is chaotic neutral

Eddie: What the? No I'm not!

Eddie: If anything I'm lawful neutral

bevharley: no, you're not.

Billiam: Michael is true neutral.

michawl: true

bevharley: i'm chaotic good

Billiam: that works

trashmouthtozier: ofc you would be chaotic!

trashmouthtozier: billiam is lawful good

Billiam: idk man

Ben: I think so too, dad!

bevharley: Birdy has to be lawful chaotic

Ben: Is that even a thing?

bevharley: idk but it seems so them

Billiam: it does?

michawl: how?

Billiam: idk man

Ben: Where are they anyway?

birdy.sue: In class.

birdy.sue: And stop messaging the chat. We are in class.

trashmouthtozier: okay darling

birdy.sue: I said.

trashmouthtozier: ttyl sweetie

2:54 p.m.

Richie's Crushin'

bevharley added Eddie and Ben to Richie's Crushin'

Eddie: Birdy

Ben: Birdy.sue?

trashmouthtozier: how the fuck?!?

Eddie: It's so obvious

trashmouthtozier: DruaxuUHFUgcuUTxtd

Billiam: except to Birdy

Ben: True.

michawl: we don't know that.

bevharley: yeah they could've known all along

trashmouthtozier: NonononononONONONonono

Billiam: they might actually think that Richie is joking tho

trashmouthtozier: pls at the same time NO!

Billiam: pfft

bevharley: do you like it when Birdy takes control Rich

trashmouthtozier: pff no

8:39 p.m.

new friends

birdy.sue changed new friends to New Friends

birdy.sue: That has been annoying me for days.

trashmouthtozier: you agree! we're friends!

birdy.sue: No, we are not.

trashmouthtozier: yes we are!

birdy.sue: No, we are not.

trashmouthtozier: yes we are!

birdy.sue: No.

trashmouthtozier: then soon

birdy.sue: Definitely, not.

trashmouthtozier: liar

birdy.sue: Whatever.

Richie's Crushin'

trashmouthtozier: guys!

Billiam: we saw Richie

trashmouthtozier: but guys!

Ben: We know Richie.

trashmouthtozier: guys!

New Friends

bevharley: so, when did you start the chat Richie?

trashmouthtozier: thursday!

Billiam: awww yee

Ben: Tommorow! (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

Billiam: I get to see my son tommorow!

Ben: Awe dad! I can't wait to see you!

Billiam: same!

michawl: aww

bevharley: that's darling

michawl: adorable really

Eddie: Go to sleep guys!

bevharley: but it's so early!

Eddie: But we'll see each other faster

Billiam: it seems like we'll see each other faster but we'll actually see each other the same fastness

michawl: did that sound cooler in your head?

Billiam: yeah