Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He knows from the moment he enters UA that he doesn’t belong. 

He hides his quirk the best he can, but it all comes out eventually, and then come the sideways glances and weird scowls, the whispers, the rumors, the lies. 

He’s not a freak. He’s not. It’s not his fault he has such a villainous quirk--he’s just playing the hand he was dealt. 

He’s as worthy of becoming a hero as anyone else at UA, dammit!

...too bad no one else sees it that way.

Why can’t anyone else see it that way?

UA is supposed to be a new start, but soon, it’s just like every other school he’s ever been in. 

And that’s fine. 

Really, he should have expected this. 

The sports festival. 

Something about the crowd sends a thrill through him. They’re all screaming, shouting. Are they rooting for him? Probably not. Definitely not. Does he care? Absolutely not. Not a bit, nope. 

...yes.

He focuses. The match with Ojiro--the kid with the tail--gives him hope. Maybe he really can do this. Combat-friendly quirks are overrated, who needs fists and fancy moves when you can make your opponent do whatever you want?

He can do this. 

He stands on the field, surrounded by people, and waits for his opponent to enter. 

And when he does…

...oh god is he screwed. 

Izuku Midoriya looks like trouble. 

He’s tall, slimmer than Shinsou thought he’d be. He’s scared, Shinsou can see it in his face, in the way those sharp green eyes dance across the field, across him, analyzing. 

Around them, Present Mic is yelling, the crowd is roaring, and Midoriya is...quiet, which is... fine. Shinsou just stares, suddenly at a loss, his strategy dissipating the longer he stares into those eyes. 

Shit, he’s in trouble. 

He talks. He has a strategy. He has to focus, has to win this, has to move on. Midoriya is, predictably-- adorably? No, shut up, brain-- easy to rile up, falls to Shinsou’s quirk easily. His body goes limp. He steps towards the field’s perimeter, and that’s it- Shinsou’s won. Another easy match. 

Until. Until Midoriya’s finger twitches, the movement so slight it would almost be imperceptible if not for the pained cry Midoriya gives, or the way his fingers flop, the skin broken, the bones like noodles. 

Crap! His victory flashes before his eyes. He sees it, sees something else in Midoriya’s eyes when he turns, flinches away when Midoriya’s awe-- at what? What just happened?-- turns to determination, and then he’s lunging towards Shinsou, and there’s nothing Shinsou can do---

He loses. 

There’s talking involved. Midoriya’s unlike anyone Shinsou’s ever met- he doesn’t take the victory, he talks through it all. He cares. He cares about Shinsou, and Shinsou’s quirk, and the way that everyone seems to think about Shinsou, and maybe it’s the guys’ damn optimistic attitude, but when Shinsou finally tunes into the crowds’ shrill screams, all he hears is praise. 

Damn it. He’s supposed to have a wall built around these things--a construct, something to prevent the emotions from getting in. So why is it that this one guy can break through all of it? Why’s he so special? 

Midoriya’s the first person to make Shinsou feel something in years. He won’t forget that, not ever. Their fight at the sports festival...gives him hope. 

Not that he’d ever admit that. 

Something changes, after that. 

He sees it in the way people look at him, in the way they whisper as he walks down the hall. Really, he should have expected this--the sports festival is a pretty big event after all, he’d have to be dumb to not expect any attention from it--but this? Coming out of the sports festival with… a few friends? Impossible. Except...it’s not. 

“Shinsou!” 

He starts learning his classmates’ names. He learns to see them as people with friendly faces instead of annoying, whining voices, and isn’t that funny? That this whole time he’s been judged for his quirk, but he’s been doing the same thing with everyone else’s?

“Shinsou!”

All the classes have lunch at the same time. Somehow, Shinsou ends up sitting with Midoriya, Uraraka, and Iida. Somehow--he drops his tray beside Midoriya one day, because Midoriya’s smile is infectious, and it’s been a while since Shinsou’s been so happy.

He learns that Uraraka loves rice, that Iida drinks lots of orange juice, and that Midoriya spends so much time talking that when the bell rings, he shovels food into his mouth always to the point of choking. Shinsou laughs, Uraraka giggles. Iida lectures--is always lecturing, but it’s because he cares, and Shinsou learns that too--how to take it, how to love being cared about. 

He has friends now.

Chapter Text

He gets a text. 

It happens within the span of a few moments. He stops walking, fiddles with his phone for a moment, swipes past pages of apps before landing on the one with the notification. Messages. Specifically- one message. From school. From Aizawa. 

9:03--come to my office when you get out of class. You’re excused from your next period. 

He stares at the screen. Blinks. Someone shuffles past him, bumps him just hard enough that he scowls after them as they walk past. His phone buzzes again. 

9:05--come to my office. 

Well, that escalated quickly. He adjusts his backpack on his shoulder and turns towards the hall where all of the teachers’ offices are. He shouldn’t know where that is but he does. The students don’t know. The teachers ignore his presence there. Aizawa likes keeping him around, even if he doesn’t say so. 

He opens the door to Aizawa’s office, stares silently when he enters. Aizawa is at his desk, the computer screen bright against his face. 

“Sit down.”

“Did I do something wrong?” It’s a dumb question. He knows he didn’t. 

“I don’t know, did you?” Aizawa glances up from the screen, expression void of emotion--like always, he manages to be annoying anyway. “Sit down, Shinsou. We have a lot to discuss.” 

“...right.” He sits down. Nothing in Aizawa’s office is comfortable- the walls are white and bare of any decorations. The chair behind Aizawa’s desk is the fanciest thing in the room- a black revolving chair--cushioned, probably, because of how often Aizawa sits in it--but the chair Shinsou’s sitting in looks like it’s about to fall apart. 

It still might. He sits in it, but tentatively. 

“There’s been a development,” Aizawa says. “Class 1-A has an available spot.”

That sounds....ominous. Shinsou swallows. 

“After discussing it with Principal Nezu, I’ve decided that it’s a spot I’d like you to take, Shinsou.”

Shinsou’s heart does a weird stuttering thing in his chest. He winces, glances down at the floor. His shoe’s got a weird scuff on the toe, where did that come from? 

The kids in 1-A are powerful. They’re scary. And sure, he’s got friends there, but… Midoriya’s in that class too, and something about that…

“Is that something you’d be interested in, Shinsou?” 

“Of course, sir.” He forces himself to speak slowly, not stutter. Sound heroic, dammit. “You know I am.” 

Aizawa sighs, rolls his eyes almost imperceptibly. “Asking was a...technicality,” he says, “putting you in a new class mid-semester is an unprecedented move, circumstances aside.” 

Again with the ominous tone. There’s something to Aizawa’s tone that Shinsou can’t place- anger, heavily veiled, the scary kind that’s only in the stiffness of his speech. It’s terrifying.

“I’ve arranged for your new schedule to begin tomorrow,” says Aizawa, “but, if you’d like, you can sit in on 1-A’s hero courses after lunch, as a shadow.”

“I’d like that,” Shinsou nods. It’s 9:10 now. “I go to my morning classes like normal now, then?”

“Yes. We’ll notify your classmates later on. Your teachers are already aware of the change.” 

Shinsou nods, then frowns. “Sir...if you don’t mind my asking...what happened?” 

Aizawa’s expression turns from bland to furious in an instant. “Certain things came to light and had to be dealt with immediately,” he says. “Don’t ask any more questions.” 

Shinsou whistles. “Must have been pretty serious.”

“Don’t ask questions,” Aizawa sighs, wilting back into his chair. “I already have a headache, don’t make it worse.” 

“You always have a headache,” Shinsou snorts, scooting his chair backward as he stands. 

Aizawa shuts his eyes. “And it’s always your fault.”

“Mine- !? ”

“Goodbye, Shinsou,”

“Whatever.” Shinsou turns, opens the door, and mumbles, “Old man.” 

“What class do you have after lunch again, Shinsou?” Uraraka asks. “Math?” 

“Usually,” Shinsou says. His gaze flickers briefly to Midoriya. “Actually, after today, I’ll be joining your class.”

Midoriya chokes. 

“Midoriya!” Iida exclaims, eyes widening as he stands to observe Midoriya’s apparent inability to eat properly. “We’ve discussed this! Not only is eating too quickly terribly unhealthy, it’s dangerous! Please be more careful!”

“Sorry,” Midoriya wheezes, blinking away the tears in his eyes as he gasps for air. “I- did you say...you’re joining class 1-A?” 

“Yeah, apparently something happened and there was an open spot,” says Shinsou, shrugging. “Aizawa wouldn’t tell me what happened, though.”

Iida, Uraraka, and Midoriya exchange uneasy glances. 

“...and I’m guessing you won’t tell me either,” Shinsou frowns. “Whatever.”

“It’s just...they told us not to tell anyone outside of our class,” says Uraraka, “but… I guess…”

“He’ll find out soon enough,” Iida says. “It’s best to wait until the change is official.”

Midoriya, strangely, is silent. 

“Midoriya,” Iida says, tilting his head. “Aren’t you going to congratulate Shinsou on finally moving classes?” 

“Huh?” Midoriya blinks. His entire face goes red. “What? Oh, actually, I was just remembering something I forgot to tell All Might, I’m gonna go do that, bye!” He stands up, runs off without another word, and leaves everything--his food and his backpack--behind. 

Shinsou stares after him. “He’s not...mad, is he?” 

“At you?” Uraraka snickers. “Never.”

“Uraraka,” Iida sighs. “I’m sure he’s just got a lot of his mind, Shinsou.”

“...yeah.” Shinsou twists his fork over his plate, stares at the way Midoriya had gone. “Right.” 

That’s gotta be all it is. 

Right?

Chapter Text

The end of the semester is gone before Shinsou realizes it. 

Stuff happens. A lot of stuff. He’s not involved in all of it, but some of it he is. He sticks around school during the fight with Stain, hears about what really happened because Midoriya can’t keep his mouth shut. He trains with Aizawa while everyone else is at their internships, which is fine, because he doesn’t have much interest in anyone else anyway.

...he spends a lot of time with Midoriya too, in the aftermath, because almost all of their classmates and someone has to keep him company, so it might as well be him. 

Exams...he hates exams, he especially hates being paired with Aizawa of all people --who’s idea was that, anyway? Probably Aizawa’s, the traitor-- but Yaoyorozu is smart and they pull through, barely. He passes. He passes. 

And then, it’s over. He’s completed his first semester as a student of class 1-A, and it might have been absolute chaos but he did it, and he’s proud, has never been prouder of anything in his enter life. 

They’re not allowed to go anywhere over the summer. Not that he’s mad about it, there’s not many places he’d want to go-- could afford to go-- anyway. 

But at least there’s the summer camp to look forward to. Sure, it’ll probably be filled with teaching and more shitty schoolwork, but hey- it’s a summer camp, no one thing could possibly ruin that, right?

And they go shopping. He doesn’t actually need anything--there’s plenty of packable stuff at home. But Midoriya’s going, and that’s...cool. 

It ends up not being cool. It ends up being a terrible trip, actually, and he has nightmares about it afterward. It’s funny how you don’t realize how much someone means to you until they’re in danger right before your eyes. 

And...it turns out you can ruin a summer camp. Go figure. 

Dorms. 

He’s used to being alone, but something about sleeping in a new place after everything that’s happened unnerves him, somehow, and he’s not the only one. They’re all scared. Some of them are just better at hiding it. 

Izuku Midoriya is not one of those people. 

Shinsou knows what not sleeping does to a person, would know better than anyone, so when Midoriya comes downstairs one week after moving in with bags under his eyes, Shinsou is immediately suspicious.

“Midoriya,” he says, raising an eyebrow. “When was the last time you slept?”

The look Midoriya gives him is one of caution, an apprehensive stare that Shinsou knows all too well. “Um,” 

“When was the last time you slept,” Shinsou asks again, slower this time. He raises an eyebrow for emphasis. Midoriya shrivels backward. “I’m not going to use my quirk on you, Midoriya. I’m just…” he pauses, choosing his words carefully--”worried about you.”

It seems like the right thing to say-- is it? --but Midoriya’s eyes widen. His cheeks redden, and his gaze dances over Shinsou’s shoulder, at anything but Shinsou. 

“It’s been a few days,” he finally says, glancing at his empty plate.

“You need to sleep.” he feels like a hypocrite, saying it. It’s no less true. 

“I know…but I can’t.” Midoriya stumbles over the words, his voice cracking. Shinsou stares at him, panics as tears begin to well in Midoriya’s eyes. “I get nightmares,” he says at last. Bad ones, is what he doesn’t say but Shinsou can tell. 

Shinsou swallows. His mind takes it all in at once- Midoriya is crying, he’s out of syrup for his pancakes, Midoriya is crying and he must fix this. “I’ll stay with you.”

“You’ll- what?” 

“ Uhm, ” Shinsou gasps out, appalled at his own forwardness, and now his own cheeks are flaming, god he wants to die, he did not just say that out loud. He clears his throat, takes a deep breath to...help him start breathing again, and panics. Think, think, think. “We could watch movies, in the common room.” He says. “Keep your mind off things.” And make you fall asleep, he doesn’t say, but knows it’ll be inevitable. 

“Yeah that sounds great!” Midoriya blurts out. “I’ll go pick out some movies-” At least that’s what Shinsou thinks he says. Midoriya jumps up so fast lightning sparks around his shoulders, leeches into his pine-colored eyes. His chair hits the floor so fast someone yelps in the other room. 

And then he’s gone. 

Shinsou shoves his plate aside and melts into the table, arms folded beneath his face, the hood of his sweatshirt covering the back of his head, slipping into his eyes. 

“Shinsou?” Uraraka. He sees a flash of light brown hair, hears her pick up Midoriya’s fallen chair. She sits on it, moves Midoriya’s plate, and squishes her face against the table so that he can see her eyes. “What happened?” 

“Nothing.” 

Uraraka snorts. 

“Really, it’s nothing,” Shinsou says, because he really, really doesn’t want to talk about this with her, or anyone, really, and he’d give anything to make like Hagakure and disappear right now. 

“It’s not nothing,” Uraraka whines, “what’s wrong?” 

“I-” his words catch. “I told Midoriya I’d stay with him, ‘cause he gets nightmares.” he mumbles into his sleeve. “I panicked and said we could watch movies to take his mind off things.” 

Uraraka squeals. “Iida!”

“No!” Shinsou bolts upward, half the fuzz on his sleeve coming up on his face. “Not Iida!”

“Iida, Shinsou needs help!” Uraraka proclaims as Iida comes bolting into the room. “Midoriya is picking the movies, we’ll need someone to make popcorn, and we’ll need candy too!” 

“...what?” Iida frowns, sounding just as confused as Shinsou feels. 

“A movie night,” Uraraka sighs, rolling her eyes. “With Shinsou? And Midoriya?” Something about the way she says it is weird, but he...can’t figure out why. Does Uraraka know something he doesn’t?

“Oh!” Iida’s eyes widen. “Yes! An excellent idea! I’ll make the preparations-”

And then he’s gone. 

“It’ll be fine,” says Uraraka, “we’ll get everyone together, that way it won’t be awkward.” She winks, and Shinsou’s face gets hot again, but Uraraka stands up and takes Midoriya’s plate--and Shinsou’s--to the garbage can, leaving Shinsou sitting at the table totally confused. 

What the hell did he just get himself into?

…

…

... he doesn’t know what this movie is about. 

Superheroes, or something. Of course Midoriya would pick superhero movies. They’re on the second movie in a series of three. He has no idea what’s going on. The popcorn is gone, the candy’s on the other side of the room, and Midoriya…

Midoriya is asleep. 

He’s got his head against the back of the couch, his hair flopped against his forehead, some of it sticking to his temples, tufts of it poking up off his head. His mouth is open. Each breath is slow, relaxed. He looks...peaceful. 

Mission accomplished. Shinsou smirks. 

“Having fun?” 

Shinsou flinches--Uraraka comes out of nowhere, scares him even though she’s whispering. “Uh, yeah, I guess.” Shinsou shrugs, keeps the movement soft, slight, because Midoriya is finally asleep and he’s close, really close. How’d that happen, anyway? They started off on opposite ends of the couch…

“I’m headed to bed,” Uraraka says, “if you’re still awake when the movie’s over, the third one’s sitting on the table, ‘kay?” 

“Right,” says Shinsou, even though he has no intention of staying down here any longer than he has to. It’s late. He’s exhausted. A few more minutes, then he’ll head upstairs and-

Thump. 

Midoriya’s head rolls onto Shinsou’s shoulder. 

Shit. 

He sits still, stiffens against the startled flinch that shudders through him. Midoriya. Leaning against his shoulder. HIs hair tickling Shinsou’s nose. His chest rising, falling against Shinsou’s arm. 

He...doesn’t know what he’s doing. This is fine. I’ll just get up, slowly, and he’ll lean against the cushions- except that when Shinsou moves, Midoriya moves with him, his whole body slumping as Shinsou shifts positions. He’s stuck. Stuck stuck stuck and so so screwed, because there’s no way he’s going to be able to sleep now, not with…

Goddammit. 

Shinsou leans back. He takes a deep breath. This is fine. Everything is fine. It totally doesn’t mean anything. He’s asleep. He has no idea what he’s doing! This is fine. 

He shuts his eyes. 

He’s in so much trouble. 

~

“Iida- Iida look! At Midoriya and Shinsou!”

“Hush, don’t wake them! Just...leave them alone, I’m sure they’ll...figure it out in the morning.”

…

“Iida?” 

“Yes, Uraraka?” 

“You owe me ten bucks, you know.” 

“I...am aware, yes.” 

“Hand it over.” 

“Can’t we talk about this in the morning?” 

“The money, Iida-”

“...goodnight, Uraraka.” 

“...”

Chapter Text

Shinsou has a terrible secret, one that he hides with everything in him, one that contradicts everything anyone knows about him. It’s a secret no one would guess. It’s embarrassing, in fact. 

He loves mornings. 

When the sun rises, it paints the darkness with peachy hues, rays of lavender that stretch across the sky, bathing everything in gold. He’s always admired things like that, admired the way nature always finds a way to become whole again, become bright, shining, free. 

He loves mornings. He does. He just...hates waking up for them. Hates getting out of bed. Loves rolling over, snuggled between his blankets, to peer blearily at the silvery clouds and glimmering sunlight. Hates leaving his bed. Hates being cold.

He’s cold now.

He opens his eyes. The common room is still dark, remnants of the night before all over the couches and on the floor. There’s a candy wrapper twisted around his big toe. He wriggles it free, then stretches, sighs, and shivers, grabs the blanket on the floor and hauls it over his shoulders. He’s freezing. It’s freezing in the common room. What the hell kept him warm last night, then?

Midoriya.

He blinks. The ease of movement that brought him such comfort just a moment before dissipates until a strange hollow cold. He flinches away from it, squints in the darkness to reveal… no one. Midoriya is gone. 

Midoriya is gone. The realization makes him feel somehow empty. 

Come back. 

He sits on the couch a minute longer, but it feels like an eternity and he gets up soon after, groans as he stretches to ease the ache in his neck. Where is everyone? There’s no way everyone’s still asleep, right? He’s really...the only one who bothers to sleep late around the dorms. Everyone else is always up first. 

“Shinsou?” 

“Huh?” He whirls around, hisses as a light flickers on and the common room is suddenly illuminated by harsh yellow. “Iida, what-”

“I apologize, I didn't mean to disturb you,” Iida says. He blinks owlishly at Shinsou over the tops of his glasses. He doesn’t look apologetic, but then, it is Iida. 

“You didn’t,” Shinsou sighs, lying. Iida looks at him for a moment-- or does he? His glasses are washed out by the lights-- before he wanders into the kitchen. Shinsou doesn’t bother him. 

He has five seconds of peace before everyone else comes downstairs. 

As he slips quietly out the back door, he realizes Midoriya isn’t with them. 

He finds himself waiting. Watching the clock. Waiting on something. Waiting on...what?

Midoriya. Waiting on Midoriya.

He hadn’t imagined it, right? Midoriya, head pressed against his shoulder, sleeping. Happy. Warm.

He hadn’t imagined it. It had been...nice, actually. He’d gotten over his panic eventually and it had been...nice. He’d do it again. Maybe. 

Wait. Shit. Shit. Midoriya had been asleep then--it wasn’t like he’d known what he was doing--he’d moved by accident and Shinsou hadn’t done anything to stop it. What the hell was he thinking last night? Does Midoriya even like him that way? Shit, what if he’s panicking right now and it’s all his fault?

He gets up, leaves his phone on the bed behind him, opens the door and--

--bumps into Midoriya so hard he collapses, hitting Midoriya is like hitting a brick wall , it hurts, but then he looks up and Midoriya’s eyes are so wide they look like they could pop out of his head and Shinsou finds himself smiling, smiling as he reaching up to massage his aching forehead. 

Midoriya is mumbling. Has been mumbling for the last few seconds, so quickly and so quietly that Shinsou can’t hear. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” he says, smiles again, dammit, what’s wrong with him? “I’m fine. See?”

“It’s already swelling…” Midoriya mutters. He bites his lip, then steps backward, eyes dancing over Shinsou. Damage assessment. Such a... hero thing to do. 

“I’m fine,” Shinsou insists, stepping back. Midoriya...doesn’t look so good himself. Eyes wide and bloodshot, his face pale. “Midoriya...about last night…”

“Last night?” Midoriya’s entire expression shifts into one of pure panic. “That’s right! I totally forgot- I came here to apologize!” 

“Apologize?” 

“For falling asleep during the movie…” 

“...right.” 

Midoriya’s face turns even redder. “And...for…” 

“It’s not a big deal.” The words are out of his mouth too fast. He regrets them. “Don’t worry about it.”

“But I-” Midoriya...Midoriya’s wilting...shrinking away from Shinsou and into himself. 

Oh, god. He miscalculated. Assumed that Midoriya was apologizing for something he wasn’t, and now...he’s… “Midoriya-”

But whatever it was that had brought Midoriya to Shinsou’s dorm was gone. Midoriya is gone in a matter of seconds, gone in a flash of lightning, and Shinsou’s left with one arm leaning against the door, his other hand trembling as he rubs his eyes. 

This, this is why he doesn’t let people in, why he doesn’t let people close, why he doesn’t let himself feel, because he’s dangerous when he lets himself be happy, and this is what happens. He only pushes people away. 

Midoriya, come back.

Midoriya, what were you going to say?

~

“Well? How’d it go?” 

“I don’ wanna talk about it.” 

“...Deku, is everything okay?” 

“...”

“Deku?” 

“I was going to tell him I was sorry for not being able to say...what I’ve been thinking. But he didn’t- he didn’t- huh? Uraraka? Where are you going?”

“Nowhere,” Uraraka says, but she leaves the kitchen with a deathly light in her eyes.

Chapter Text

“Is Shinsou in there?” 

“He hasn’t left his room in two days.” 

“Is...is he okay?”

“Who knows? If Uraraka talked to me like that, I wouldn’t be.”

“Whoa, what?”

“Yeah, I overheard…”

As if they can hear his silent pleas of “please, please go away,” the voices fade until the hallway lapses into complete silence. It’s the middle of the day. Everyone else is off doing something. Shinsou’d not even really sure what he’s supposed to be doing right now. 

They’re wrong, partially--he has been out of his room in the last two days, he has to eat after all--he’s quiet, when he wants to be, manages to open his squeaky damn door and sneak out into the hall while everyone is asleep, without anyone knowing. 

But the problem is, no one else knows why he’s kept himself locked in his room. They keep knocking. They keep asking questions- questions he doesn’t want to answer. Questions he doesn’t know how to answer. 

“Shinsou? Why are you in there? Are you sick?”

Does being heartbroken count as being sick?

Does it count if you’re the reason you’re heartbroken?

His phone buzzes. It’s so quiet in his room that the sound startles him. He jumps, glares down at his phone once he recovers. One incoming text--Uraraka.

1:17-- shinsou i swear to god if you’re still in your bed when i come back from training

1:17--and don’t you dare leave me on read!

He’s- he could take Uraraka in a fight. Definitely. 

And she would fight. 

Leaving his room isn’t worth it. Leaving his room means facing people, means smiling and nodding like everything is okay when it isn’t, not when Midoriya’s been the only thing on his mind, not when the one thing that’s been on his mind is that dopey smile and those dark green eyes, not when he made Midoriya cry and refused to look him in the eyes ever again. 

Uraraka told him, half screamed it, that that...wasn’t okay. That Midoriya was more forgiving than that. That Midoriya blamed himself. And as much as Shinsou wants to see Midoriya, to apologize for being an absolute idiot, he can’t, won’t face him again. 

Someone knocks on his door. 

His face flushes when he realizes he’s actually scared--Uraraka texted him a few minutes ago, she couldn’t possibly be back already, could she?

But something tells him to open the door. And he does, flinches as electricity sparks against his fingers, gasps when wood scrapes against carpet to reveal Midoriya standing in the hall, his hands clasped one over the other, his hair fluffed up in that messy way of his, his eyes wide, his jaw slightly trembling. 

“Hey,” he whispers, “can we talk?” 

“Y-yeah.” Shinsou winces at the sound of his own voice. He sounds like he hasn’t spoken in weeks-- it’s been two days, brain, don’t be dramatic-- but he shuffles forward, nudges Midoriya further into the hall, and together they walk silently down and around the corner. 

They take the stairs. Shinsou falls behind. Everyone goes quiet when they walk into the common room. Several pairs of wide eyes lock onto Shinsou. He stares at the floor. Midoriya’s right foot scuffs hard against the wood floor. He’s not ordinarily this clumsy. Is it nerves? Shame? Fear?

Jesus, Shinsou hopes he’s not afraid. He’d never- shit, but he already hurt Midoriya’s heart once---

It’s pretty outside. Shinsou’s not normally one to prefer observing the same things outside that he could see from his bedroom window. 

Today, though, everything is bright and warm and green but it’s not hot, it’s kind’ve windy, and the breeze tousles his hair in a way that makes him huff, whisk it back past his ear. Midoriya’s hair is better off--days like this are perfect for hair like this, only add to the messiness, the fluffiness, the cuteness. 

He winces. He’s... it hasn’t gone away. The thing he’s been avoiding. The one he’d hoped would go away ‘cause maybe that would take away the pain, the anxiety he feels whenever he hears Midoriya’s name mentioned. He likes Midoriya a lot. It’s- 

“Shinsou.” 

Shinsou blinks. He’s quite a few steps away from Midoriya now, kept walking while he was lost in his thoughts. “Sorry,” he says, trying for a laugh but Midoriya’s not laughing, not when he meets his eyes, and Shinsou’s seen this kid face villains of the worst kind, seen him face the nightmares that follow, but he’s never seen Midoriya look so scared. 

He can’t take this anymore, dammit. He’s had two days full of this hell, knowing he hurt Midoriya, and- “Hey, Midoriya-”

“Shinsou-” Midoriya gasps, blushes instantly as the realization hits. He goes quiet. 

“Sorry.” Shinsou’s own face is burning. He can ignore that. He hopes Midoriya will too. “You first.” 

“No, you-”

“ Midoriya.” Shinsou sighs. “I’m sorry.” 

“I’m sorry too.” Midoriya’s hand winds its way up the back of his neck, pulls a piece of hair down and twists it around his finger for a moment before letting it flop back up with the rest of his curls. “I’m, um,” 

“I shouldn’t have cut you off the other day, it was rude and I’m sorry and I-” I like you a lot I like you a lot, please don’t be mad at me--- “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry.” Midoriya’s eyes widen, his gaze intensifying. “I couldn’t say what I wanted to before, and it was probably just really confusing and I’m sorry, I’d say I'm not always like that but I am…” 

Shinsou glances sideways. It’s a mistake. He catches a glimpse of bright blonde hair in the window, glares back. “Midoriya-”

“I like you, Shinsou.” Midoriya blurts out with such force and panic and fear that Shinsou nearly strains his neck looking back at him so quickly. 

“You- what?” 

Midoriya is red. Bright red. Like a tomato. And he’s shaking as he brings his hands up to hide in the pocket of his hoodie. “I said-”

“I heard you.” The words whoosh out of Shinsou. His heart does A Thing, and he’s not really sure how to breathe now, because somehow this was not what he was expecting, and he doesn’t know how to respond, and--shit, Midoriya’s staring at him, expecting some sort of response, so instead of logic and saying anything that actually makes sense, Shinsou blurts out, “I like you too.”

He watches, something hard, pokey, cold forming in his stomach as Midoriya’s eyes dance over him, across the sidewalk, over his shoulder. “Oh.”

It...the word just stays there, Midoriya’s words booming like freaking drums in Shinsou’s head. He swallows. There’s a next step here, right? Something...that comes after? 

“We should move,” Midoriya murmurs, “everyone’s staring at us.” 

Silently, Shinsou nods, follows Midoriya as he leads them away from the dorms. He swallows again. Breathes in a deep, deep breath and...steps up beside Midoriya, tries for a smile. After all, this is what he wanted, right? No more dancing around each other, no more heartache? 

“Thank you,” he says, staring at Midoriya. “I’ve been...worried about what I said for a long time.” 

“It wasn’t all your fault.” Midoriya’s cheeks flush. “Uraraka says I’ve been overthinking this.” 

“She came after me, after...what happened.” Shinsou mumbles. 

Midoriya’s eyes widen. “What? What did she say?”

“She said that if I didn’t fix things with you I’d wake up one day with my room rearranged,” Shinsou mumbles. He glances at his shoes. He never thought there’d be a day when he’d be afraid of Uraraka of all people, but well…

Midoriya laughs. It’s contagious- Shinsou smiles too.

They walk until they’re so far away from the dorms that it takes ages to walk back, and it starts raining halfway back. Shinsou’s not sure when his hand finds Midoriya’s, but when they burst through the doors of the dorm everyone’s eating dinner, everyone’s clean and dry and they’re just... dripping, puddles tap tap tapping into existence on the gleaming wood floor. Iida… Iida loses it, and Shinsou’s up and running upstairs before he catches the lecture that’s sure to follow. 

That night, when everyone’s fed, all of class 1-A congregates in the common room again. As the lights go dark, Shinsou looks over at Midoriya--his eyes are shining, his lips curved into the nerdy, excited smile that can only come from something superhero-related, the dork, and Shinsou’s heart flutters a little as he makes his move.

He leans his head on Midoriya’s shoulder, looks up as Midoriya jumps but doesn’t flinch away. “Is this… is this okay?”

A second. A heartbeat. Silence. 

Then… “Yeah. It is.” 

Shinsou shuts his eyes and falls asleep.

When he wakes up the next morning, Midoriya’s still there, warm and solid beneath Shinsou’s slumped-over torso. Shinsou sits up, looks over, and... gasps, softly. Midoriya… 

Midoriya is smiling.