Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

☾

“Jungkook!”

The tiny pup startles, dropping the stones he had been collecting along the river’s edge. He’d been caught up in his thoughts, fascinated by the shimmering scales of the fish swimming just beneath the surface. The fish were so fast; despite how hard Jungkook tries to touch one, they always swam just out of reach.

He turns his back to the river, clambering over rocks and under low hanging branches to make his way back to the disassembled camp of his pack. All that is left are the remnants of their fires. His mother is waiting impatiently, arms crossed over her chest and Jungkook’s pack resting on the ground by her feet.

“Where were you?” She snaps. “Do you think we have the luxury of making Alpha wait for us? Why don’t you ever listen?”

Jungkook ducks his head, digging his bare toes into the dirt. “I’m sorry Umma.”

She sighs, nudging Jungkook’s pack. “Let’s go. We have a long way to walk today.”

“Okay Umma,” Jungkook says, reaching down for his pack. He slips the one stone he’d kept a hold of into the front pocket; it was golden, glossy, and it sparkled in the sunlight as he’d turned it over and examined the smooth edges. He liked it because it reminded him of his own eye colour – a warm gold that even his Umma said was pretty. Jungkook was the only wolf in his pack with golden eyes.

He shrugs his pack on, huffing a little bit at the weight, but he doesn’t complain. He sticks his skinny arms through the straps, and falls in line behind his Umma. He keeps pace with her, stepping into the footprints she leaves behind, watching his tiny feet leave their own prints like miniscule copies of his Umma’s.

Far in front of them, Alpha has begun the move, and the rest of the pack follow. They cross fields and forests, climb up the sides of mountains and down into ravines. Jungkook shivers as they cross cold rivers, clinging onto his Umma’s pack in an attempt to stand strong against the river’s tide. He is too small to touch the bottom of the riverbed, and he turns to watch the other pups who have climbed up onto their Umma’s backs too. He sees a few of his littermates, but he doesn’t bother waving. They don’t get along.

A sudden shout startles him, and he twists around the find the source.

There!

He spots the flash of arms down river; someone has been swept away by the tide. One of the omegas is screaming, trying to wade through the water to catch them. “Alpha!” she shrieks. “Alpha, help!”

Alpha doesn’t move. He stands on a rock overlooking the river, dark eyes scanning the scene below him, indifferent. Jungkook hunches down, burying himself into his Umma’s back, in an attempt to hide from Alpha’s gaze. Alpha scares him more than anything else.

“Weak,” Alpha says. The arms of whoever it was have disappeared now, the rush of water completely covering their packmate, as if they never existed to begin with. “I don’t like weakness in my pack.”

Jungkook’s Umma climbs out of the river, and Jungkook slides down from her back, standing on weak legs and shivering from more than just the cold. His Umma is silent as she wrings out her wet clothes, and Jungkook copies her.

“You’re not weak, Jungkook,” his Umma says to him, staring down at the young pup with a warning in her eyes. “You will never be weak.”

“Yes Umma,” he says dutifully.

☽

They find their new home, at least for the next little while after passing through a field with grass almost as tall as Jungkook. He reaches out with a hand to feel the tips of the grass with his palms; he giggles at the ticklish sensation.

They pass under the canopy of trees to a vast area of soft forest floor, sounds muffled by the bed of pine needles on the ground. It feels soft under Jungkook’s bare feet.

The pack moves quickly, setting up camp, digging out the firepits and marking them with large rocks, collecting firewood and water from the nearby lake. Jungkook is too small to help his Umma set up their tent, so he makes quick work of digging out their own small firepit, plodding into the woods around them to collect smaller sticks for kindling.

“What a good pup,” a warm voice says.

“Seokjin-hyung!”

Jungkook nearly drops all of the sticks he’d been stacking by rolling up the bottom of his shirt for a hastily made pocket. He looks up at the tall omega he’s known forever; Seokjin is five years older than him and the most beautiful person he knows. Even more beautiful than his Umma, even though he knows better than to say that out loud.

At ten, Seokjin is allowed to do far more activities than Jungkook, and the basket of berries he is carrying is already half full. Jungkook is jealous, because collecting sticks was boring. He had to stay close to the forest floor all the time, instead of looking at pretty things like berries and flowers.

Though he supposes that Seokjin still isn’t allowed to do much – he is an omega after all.

Seokjin smiles down at him, seems to immediately understand Jungkook’s pout. “Want to come with me? I still need help gathering some flowers.”

“Yes!” Jungkook exclaims, jumping up and down on his feet. “Wait for me here!”

He takes off, zooming back to camp to dump the sticks by the side of their tent. His Umma is chatting with another omega, and Jungkook pants in exertion as he stands by her side, waiting for her attention.

She raises her eyebrows. “What is it?”

“Can I go with Seokjin-hyung to help him collect flowers?” Jungkook asks, so excited he is nearly vibrating on the spot. “I already got all the sticks, look!” He points to the pile he’d built up.

His Umma examines the pile, then turns back to him. There is little chance of her saying no – she loves Seokjin. Everybody does. He’s the perfect omega, even at only ten. Everybody says so. Seokjin is the pride of the pack.

“Fine,” she acquiesces. “But be back before dinner. If you’re late, you’re not eating.”

“Yes Umma!” Jungkook says, and then races back into the forest, the feathered earrings dangling from his ears bouncing with every step.

Seokjin hasn’t moved from where Jungkook had left him, snacking daintily on some of the berries he’d found. It stains his fingertips and his lips a berry red, but just like everything else he does, it is delicate, gentle. It is why Jungkook adores him so much – he is the only gentle thing Jungkook knows. Plus, he gives the best hugs.

They take off together, Seokjin stepping gracefully over dead branches and loose rocks, Jungkook stomping his way through the underbrush, scaring off small prey.

Seokjin leads him out to a small grove bordered by the forest on all sides. The sunlight is warm on their faces, and the tall stems of wildflowers sway in the gentle breeze. Jungkook follows Seokjin as the older boy kneels down and begins tugging at the flowers, bunching them into bouquets before setting them into his basket. Jungkook can only watch; he doesn’t know anything about flowers besides how pretty they are and how nice they smell. It isn’t an alpha’s job anyway.

“Did you make sure to stay close to your Umma during the walk today?” Seokjin asks.

“Yes,” Jungkook says dutifully. “I walked with her the whole time.”

“Good,” Seokjin murmurs. “The forest can be dangerous, especially for little pups like you.”

“I’m not a pup!” Jungkook exclaims, puffing up his chest and trying to stand taller than he is. “I’m almost six, hyung!”

Seokjin laughs, a sweet smile on his lips and it makes Jungkook smile too. “Oh, I’m sorry. You’re right, you’re almost six.”

“That’s when I can start learning how to be a real alpha,” Jungkook informs Seokjin. “I’ll learn how to hunt and how to fight. I’ll learn how to protect omegas.”

“Hmm,” Seokjin hums in neither agreement nor disagreement. “Well, who protects you, Jungkookie?”

Jungkook can’t help but laugh; that’s the funniest thing Seokjin’s ever said, and Seokjin says a lot of funny things. “Hyung,” he says. “No one protects an alpha, that’s the alpha’s job. I don’t need protecting.”

“Ah,” Seokjin says softly. “I guess you’re right. Only…”

“Only what?” Jungkook asks curiously. He looks up at Seokjin, wide-eyed, and then Seokjin smiles down at him, ruffling his hair.

“Nothing,” the omega says. “You’re such a cute pup, Jungkookie. It’s okay if hyung wants to protect you, right?”

“Hyung,” Jungkook protests, but nevertheless he feels pleased. Seokjin is his favourite person, after all, and sometimes he likes to believe he is Seokjin’s favourite person too. “You’re an omega. You can’t protect me.”

“Well, I can try, can’t I?” Seokjin asks. “I protected you from that bunny that scared you.”

“Hyung!” Jungkook squawks. “It came out of nowhere! That wasn’t my fault.”

Seokjin laughs. “Whatever you say, bun.”

Jungkook pouts, but he’s not angry. He’s never really angry with Seokjin. He loves the older omega too much. “I guess it’s fine,” he mutters.

“Hmm?”

“It’s okay if it’s you,” Jungkook says. “Protecting me, I mean. But don’t tell anyone.”

“Yeah?” Seokjin asks. He seems more pleased than Jungkook had anticipated, and now Jungkook feels even better for saying yes. “Pinky promise?”

Jungkook reaches out to wrap his pinky around Seokjin’s. “Pinky promise.”

He leaves Seokjin’s side then, chasing a butterfly around the grove until he’s panting for breath and has to stop, and then he makes his way back to Seokjin, stopping to collect flowers on the way. He presents the bouquet to Seokjin when he gets back to the omega’s side, preening at Seokjin’s praise.

“Oh, Jungkookie,” Seokjin says. “Look at what you found.”

Jungkook blinks down at the bouquet. It’s a mess of flowers, and he looks up at Seokjin in confusion.

Seokjin grins. He pulls out one of the flowers, twirling it between his fingers. “It’s a tiger lily, bunny. Your birth flower.”

“My birth flower?” Jungkook repeat. “I have one?”

“Everyone does, silly,” Seokjin giggles. “Do you want to know what it means?”

“Yes!”

“Please love me,” Seokjin hums. “It’s a very beautiful meaning.”

“If you say so, hyung.”

He joins Seokjin to sit cross legged on the grass as the omega starts twisting and tying the flowers from his bouquet into a flower crown, placing it on his own head before making a smaller version for Jungkook.

“Hyung,” Jungkook says, a little more embarrassed this time. “I’m not an omega.”

“Flowers aren’t only for omegas, Jungkookie,” Seokjin tells him. “You used to like them so much.”

Jungkook shrugs. The last time he’d started collecting flowers, the other alpha pups had made fun of him for it. He’d been pushed down into the mud, and his flowers had been stomped on. When he’d gone back home dirty and crying, his Umma had gotten mad at how he’d ruined his clothes. He’d gotten a spanking for it, because she’d had to wash his clothes down in the river.

“Come on,” Seokjin says then, collecting his basket. “We’re done.”

“Can we stay a little bit longer?” Jungkook asks before he can stop himself. He doesn’t want to go back yet, back to their pack.

Seokjin’s shoulder wilt, a little bit. “I wish we could,” he says quietly. “But if we stay any longer, we’ll be late for dinner.”

“Okay,” Jungkook agrees, still pouting a little bit, pushing himself up to his feet. He offers to carry Seokjin’s basket, but the older omega gives him a gentle smile and then pats his head.

“You’re going to be an amazing alpha,” Seokjin tells him. “I know it. The best alpha to come out of this pack.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Jungkook whispers. He’s left the rest of the flowers behind, but he still carries the tiger lily with him, his tiny thumb brushing over the spotted petals.

Please love me

He wonders why those words feel so heavy.

☾

Jungkook’s sixth birthday begins with a cool September morning and the chirping of birds. He wakes from his sleep quickly, eager to celebrate.

“Umma,” he says. “Umma!”

He leans over, but she is still asleep. He hesitates, and then reaches out to slowly shake her arm. “Umma!”

She reaches back to swat at him, and Jungkook quickly ducks.

“What is it?”

“It’s my birthday!”

His Umma is silent for a moment. “So?”

Jungkook wilts. He knows that his birthday isn’t super important, not like Seokjin’s birthday or his Umma’s birthday, but today he’s six. Now he gets to start learning how to be a real alpha. He thought his Umma would be happy that she doesn’t have to take care of him any longer. Maybe his Umma forgot?

“I’m six today,” he tells her. “I’m gonna be a real alpha soon.”

His Umma groans a little bit, as she pushes herself up. “It will be a long time before you become a real alpha, if you ever do become one.”

Jungkook watches her move, and he doesn’t like the way his chest feels tight, or the way his eyes prickle. He feels very stupid, suddenly.

“I’ll try my best,” he says.

His Umma doesn’t respond, leaving him behind in the tent.

But despite his Umma’s indifference, Seokjin is a light in the dark. He gifts Jungkook a new pair of pants and a new set of handmade earrings. Jungkook immediately takes out his old set, sliding the new feathered earrings into his lobes. He spends the day with Seokjin, and they play together, chasing after butterflies and swimming in the lake. Seokjin even has a special cake that he made, and Jungkook marvels at the taste of chocolate. He’s not allowed to have chocolate, normally.

He loves Seokjin, and he thinks that even more than for his Umma, Jungkook wants to be the best alpha he can be for Seokjin. He wants to be able to give back to Seokjin everything that the older omega has given him.

After his sixth birthday, things start to change.

He knew they would, but there is so much work. He wishes he had more time to play.

He’s in a group with four other alpha pups. Chanyoung, Jungho, Hanbin and Kyungho; they’ve all known each other since birth, and they’ve never included Jungkook. Minseok is their teacher, a young alpha who is one of the deadliest hunters in the pack. Jungkook has always been scared of him, though he won’t admit it out loud. Minseok’s eyes are ice cold, and the rest of him carries very little warmth.

Each morning they meet in front of Minseok’s tent, lined up in age order, with Jungkook in last place. Minseok doesn’t bother learning or remembering their names; he calls them all pup.

“You have six years to learn from me,” Minseok tells them, as they follow him into the woods. “Six years to hone your skills. If you are not alpha material by the time you turn twelve, we’ll know, and you will have no place in this pack. I won’t bother to learn your names until I’m sure you deserve it.” He looks back at them. “When you are deemed an alpha.”

He stops when he reaches a clearer patch of forest; the trees grow thinner here, allowing the small group to fan out a little bit. Still, the pups push at each other, trying to be first.

“Sit,” Minseok commands. They all hastily sit in a circle, waiting for further instruction. “I want you to close your eyes.”

Jungkook slips his eyes shut, hands clenching on his knees. He hears Jungho shifting beside him.

“Listen to the sounds of the forest,” Minseok tells them. “Listen to everything that is happening around you. Once you are silent, you will realize there is a whole other world going on that you don’t even see.”

Jungkook listens to the birds calling above, the wind in the trees, the faint sound of rushing water from the river.

“You must learn to become nothing,” Minseok says. “Only when you are able to fade into nothing, can you pass by unseen, unheard. And if you are very good, they won’t even smell you.”

Minseok’s scent abruptly disappears, and Jungkook gasps, snapping his eyes open. Minseok is still standing in front of the group, and Jungkook is not the only one who’d opened his eyes in alarm.

Minseok smirks, faintly. “Only if you’re very good,” he repeats. “But first, we must learn about the world around us, in order to conquer it. Because that is an alpha’s role – to rule over everything else.”

Jungkook slips his eyes shut again. He is going to learn that, he vows. He’s going to be the best alpha ever, just like Seokjin said.

☽

“Hi bunny.”

Jungkook looks up from where he is seated by the fire, cheeks puffed up with the food he’d been scarfing down in his haste to finish so that he could fit in time to see Seokjin. Now that the older omega is here, he slows down.

Seokjin is standing above him, the sun shining like a halo around his head. The other alpha pups stare at Seokjin in awe; his omega scent soothes even the most energetic of the pups.

“Hi hyung,” Jungkook says. Seokjin crouches down to join him, his fur cloak pooling around his body. It is much better quality than Jungkook’s fur jacket. The tip of Seokjin’s nose is pink from the cold, and when he speaks, puffs of air turn to mist.

“How is alpha training going?” Seokjin asks. The other pups have returned to their food, the clanging noise of spoons hitting bowls betraying their haste to finish their hot meal. “Are you working hard?”

“Yes,” Jungkook tells him. He is excited that he gets to share this with Seokjin, because his Umma usually ignores him when he tries to tell her about his training. Or she tells him he’s not working hard enough. He’s really trying his best, though! “Seonsaengnim is teaching us so much! First, we learned all about listening to everything going on around us. Then we had to put these cotton buds in our ears so we couldn’t hear, and that made us only use our eyes. Seonsaengnim says that we have to master all of our senses to be good alphas.”

“I’m sure you’re very good,” Seokjin says.

“I’m okay,” Jungkook replies, a little embarrassed. “I’m not the best.”

“You have a long time to learn,” Seokjin tells him. “All of the alphas of this pack started where you are now.”

“I guess,” Jungkook says. It doesn’t change how desperate his is to be the best.

“Well,” Seokjin says, hands moving beneath his fur cloak until one hand emerges from beneath the folds. He’s clenching something in his palm. “I have something for you, bunny.”

“What is it?” Jungkook asks curiously. He sets aside his empty bowl, turning to the omega.

Seokjin opens his hand. Sitting in the palm of his hand is a crude wooden carving of a wolf. The features are a little disproportioned, and the totem hangs on a cord necklace. Seokjin looks a little embarrassed as Jungkook takes in the wolf’s features

“It’s not as good as the one you gave me,” he says, referring to the small wooden wolf Jungkook had carved for Seokjin for his eleventh birthday a few weeks ago. “I don’t really know what I’m doing,” Seokjin admits. “But I wanted you to have one too.”

“I love it,” Jungkook says immediately. He takes the wolf into his own hands, cradling it in his smaller palms. “I love it, hyung.”

“You’re too cute, bun,” Seokjin tells him, smiling, ruffling his hair. “I’m so lucky to know a pup like you.”

☾

Alpha training becomes his whole life.

It makes sense, obviously, since Jungkook is an alpha, so being the best alpha should be the most important thing in his life. It does mean, however, that he has less time for all the things he used to love. He knows those things aren’t as important as being an alpha, but he can’t help but miss it. He especially misses Seokjin, who has his own omega duties which means their time together is almost nonexistent.

Jungkook does get a lot of time alone still, but the difference now is that he’s learned not to expect Seokjin to stop by. The other difference is how that time alone has changed. Whereas before Jungkook might have been playing games and climbing trees, he’s now expected to fulfill alpha duties instead. He makes note of any tracks in the forest to report to the older alphas. He helps make weapons for the older alphas too.

Despite the cooling weather, Jungkook still goes barefoot into the river, lightly jumping from rock to rock, crouching down to examine the stones and collect the ones that would make good arrowheads. Jungkook’s learning how to use all types of weapons, but he’s especially good with arrows. He’s even better at making the arrows; his small hands work quickly at whittling the wood and tying the feathers and arrowheads.

He pauses in his search, reaching down to pick up a shiny stone, sparkling blue and green in the sunlight. He remembers how he used to collect stones like this, pretty stones, the same way he liked pretty flowers. He lets the stone fall from his fingers. He doesn’t have room for it in his pouch; it’s not important, not like the arrowheads.

He doesn’t have time for pretty things anymore.

By the time he makes it back to camp for dinner, his fingers are red from the cold water, a little bit numb too. He stops by the fire to warm them up, and then grabs a bowl of food before heading over to Seokjin. The omega will be thirteen soon, and he has been preparing for his own coming of age ceremony.

Seokjin’s hair has grown out, over the years, reaching just below his shoulder blades. It is soft, straight, and he wears it twisted in intricate knots, with flowers braided into the dark locks. Alpha checks on him a lot now, to make sure Seokjin is warm enough in the rapidly cooling weather, that Seokjin has enough furs at night, that Seokjin has enough food during his meals.

Jungkook has never seen this kind of favouritism, and he does feel a little jealous. He thinks Seokjin deserves it though, to be treated so well, and he doesn’t really understand the funny expression Seokjin gives him when he tells Seokjin this.

He plops down beside Seokjin, glad he’s able to tonight because recently Seokjin has been surrounded by so many of the older alphas that Jungkook hasn’t been able to get close. He relaxes into the soothing floral scent, letting it wash over his senses.

“You almost missed dinner,” Seokjin says. He’s scraping his spoon along the bottom of his bowl, picking up the last bits of food. He sounds quieter than usual, almost sad.

“But I didn’t,” Jungkook says cheekily. He nudges the bag he’d plopped down on the floor with his foot. “I was down at the river.” He chews on his food. “Are you excited?”

“For what?”

“For your birthday!” Jungkook exclaims. “Everyone’s talking about it.”

“I know,” Seokjin says. He doesn’t sound as excited as Jungkook expects, and he looks glum as he keeps scraping his spoon against the bottom of his bowl.

“What’s wrong, hyung?” he asks.

“Oh, nothing bunny,” Seokjin sighs. “Sometimes I just wish…”

“Wish what?”

“Nothing, it’s not important,” Seokjin says. He turns to look at Jungkook. “I guess I just don’t know how much longer we have like this.”

Jungkook doesn’t understand. “What do you mean?”

But Seokjin changes the topic. “I know what I want you to give me for my birthday.”

“I already got you a present,” Jungkook says, but he listens to Seokjin anyway.

“I want to spend the whole day with you,” Seokjin says. “I always want to remember you as a little bunny. I want to remember this, now, forever.”

“What are you talking about, hyung?” Jungkook asks. “You’re saying weird things.”

“I know,” Seokjin smiles wistfully. “But do you think you can make time for me anyway?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook says, nonplussed. “Of course.”

Seokjin ends the conversation there, and Jungkook still doesn’t understand, but he leans into Seokjin’s side. Seokjin relaxes, leaning into Jungkook too, letting the young alpha curl into his warmth.

Beyond the crackling fire, the forest fades into darkness around them. Because it is so late in the year, the days are shorter and shorter, so that it’s as dark as midnight. High above, the moon glows in the sky. Jungkook exhales, tilting his head back to look up at the stars.

“Do you ever think about what’s out there?” Jungkook asks.

“What do you mean?” Seokjin says.

“Like…all the other packs out there. Head Alpha. All the other wolves,” Jungkook says shyly. “There must be so many more wolves besides us. It would be cool to meet some of them.”

Seokjin is silent for a moment. “Maybe you will.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Umma says I’m not allowed to go to the city.”

This elicits a surprised laugh from Seokjin. “You want to go into the city?”

“Well, maybe,” Jungkook says. “You always get to go. I want to come with you. What if you need my protection?”

Seokjin’s smile gets a little smaller, more wistful. “I always have pack alphas with me, bun. No one is going to touch me.”

“But I want to go with you anyway,” Jungkook says. He’s frustrated because Seokjin isn’t getting it. “I barely get to see you anymore, I hate it.”

“Oh, do you miss me?” Seokjin asks, voice turning into something more playful.

“Hyung,” Jungkook protests, embarrassed.

“I miss you too,” Seokjin whispers, leaning closer, like it’s a secret. “I wish that we could go back to picking berries together. I miss the flowers you used to bring me.” He holds Jungkook’s hand in his own, examining the callouses that have started to form, roughening his previously soft baby skin. “You’re changing so quickly already, I’m a little sad.”

“But I’m still me, hyung,” Jungkook tells him. He’s confused at the melancholy look on Seokjin’s face, the sadness tucked into his smile. He knows it’s been a while since they’ve seen each other, since Jungkook has told Seokjin about his alpha training, since Jungkook has fallen asleep curled into Seokjin’s side, his much smaller body fitting snugly against the older omega. But Jungkook is learning how to become an alpha to be proud of, and surely that is better than remaining as the pup he once was.

“I know,” Seokjin says. “I know. That’s why I love you, bunny. Because you’re Jungkook.”

☽

In Jungkook’s short eight years of life, there have been moments in which he had been forced to face his own ignorance. Moments in which he’d had to come to terms with the fact that he didn’t understand what was happening. Moments where he’d had to understand that actions have consequences, and the only way to survive in this world is to learn the harsh lessons that only life can provide.

The first time is when he is four and he hears the word “freak” snapped at him.

He is startled, staring wide-eyed up at the much older alpha. He’s heard that word before, tossed around the pack like a warning.

The freak is coming over.

Don’t get too close to the freak.

The freak doesn’t belong here.

He didn’t know what it meant. Now he knows it is synonymous with Jungkook. He understands why the other pups won’t play with him, why the other pups throw stones when he gets too close. Why he often eats last, why the older wolves shove him aside when he spends too much time with Seokjin. He thought it was because he doesn’t have an Appa; now he knows it is because there is something inherently wrong with him.

Seokjin tells him that the pack is wrong, that Jungkook is not a freak. He says it’s because they’re jealous of Jungkook’s golden eyes; he says Jungkook is destined to become a great alpha.

But Seokjin is only nine, and he’s not only kind to Jungkook, he’s kind to everybody. It bothers Jungkook that he has to share Seokjin’s kindness with the rest of the pack. When he is with Seokjin, everything seems a little lighter, a little brighter. They play games together, and they shift into their wolf forms and chase each other around. Seokjin even makes Jungkook his first ever pair of earrings out of tiny pink stones.

But when Seokjin leaves, when he has to go back to his family, when he’s called to play with omegas his own age, the darkness starts to creep in the same way the moon eclipses the sun. Jungkook is always alone. He chases butterflies and squirrels because he has no other friends. He makes necklaces of shells that he never wears because the other pups will rip it from his throat. He barely speaks because the adult wolves and the pups laugh at him every time he does.

He has no one else besides Seokjin and his Umma, and he isn’t even sure if his Umma likes him very much. He can’t imagine what it must be like for her, to have a pup who is a freak. No matter how hard he tries to make it easier for her, he never succeeds. Sometimes when she is very drunk, she tells him that she wishes he had never been born. Sometimes Jungkook almost tells her that he wishes the same.

He’s learned similar harsh lessons in the years since.

He learns another one now, standing frozen behind the shadow of a tree, fingers and toes numb from the cold, watching Minseok-seonsaengnim leave the tent he shares with his Umma. He doesn’t understand.

Minseok pauses to readjust his pants, rolls his shoulders back, and then continues on into the cover that night provides. Why would Minseok-seonsaengnim be visiting his Umma? He knows they’re a similar age – Jungkook’s Umma is a lot younger than the other pups’ Ummas. But Jungkook didn’t know that Minseok was close to his Umma.

He creeps closer. His heart is thudding in his chest.

“Umma?”

He crouches down, lifting the flap of the tent. Inside, his Umma is reclined back in her furs, staring up at the fabric of the tent above her. She doesn’t look at Jungkook when he calls out to her.

The inside of the tent smells overwhelmingly of Minseok, with a kind of pungent odour that has Jungkook recoiling, scrunching up his nose in distaste. He doesn’t like the smell, and he doesn’t like his Umma’s dull eyes either.

“Umma?”

He crawls into the tent, but his Umma still doesn’t respond. She has a bruise on her face that wasn’t there earlier today. Underneath the overpowering scent of his teacher, Jungkook can barely make out the trace of blood. Is his Umma hurt? He can’t see any injuries besides the bruises on her face. He reaches out hesitantly and rests a small hand on her arm to get her attention. She immediately flinches, and Jungkook snaps his hand back, cradling it to his chest as if he was the one who was hurt.

“…Jungkook?”

“Umma, what’s wrong?” Jungkook asks worriedly. She is so lethargic, barely coherent. She looks like how she does when she’s drunk after full moon celebrations and Jungkook has to guide her back to the tent as he supports her weight and her unsteady legs, but he cannot smell any alcohol on her breath right now.

“…cold,” she murmurs. “Your hands are cold.”

He blinks, and then looks around their tent. Her furs have been shoved aside and she’s made no move to cover herself, and Jungkook’s own pallet is a mess, as if it had been hastily pushed away. He reaches for the furs, pulls them up to cover his Umma.

“Is this better?”

“Hmm,” she nods. “Yes.” She rolls onto her side, putting her back to Jungkook.

He moves back to his side of the tent, swiftly fixing his furs and pillow. “Why was Minseok-seonsaengnim here?”

His Umma’s breathing catches for a moment, and then she lifts herself up to look over at him. “What are you talking about?”

“I saw him leaving the tent,” Jungkook tells her.

“Don’t be stupid,” his mother snaps. She drops back down to lie flat on her furs, a harsh scoffing noise escaping her throat. “Go to sleep, Jungkook. I don’t ever want to hear something so stupid come out of your mouth again, got it?”

Jungkook shivers. “Yes Umma.”

He does not understand this lesson for many years.

☾

“It is not good enough to only hunt as a wolf,” Minseok tells them.

“Your wolf gives you an advantage. You are dulled to everything you feel as a human, so everything else is heightened – your sense of smell, your vision, your hearing. Even more important, your empathy, your compassion,” Minseok spits out, “is dulled. You don’t feel the same hesitation in killing.”

He stops, suddenly, and the pups stop too. Minseok turns to look down at them.

“Your wolf gives you this gift,” he says. “Your wolf does all the work for you, as an alpha. But you cannot be satisfied with that. You must learn how to bring these strengths into your human form. Only then will you be a true hunter. Only then will you be an alpha of this pack.”

He meets each pup’s gaze.

“You will learn to kill in your human form,” he says frankly. “If you cannot do that, if you don’t have the stomach for it, you should leave the pack now. This pack depends on its alphas doing what is necessary. Killing in your human form will make you lethal as a wolf.”

Jungkook feels something heavy like a stone settle in his stomach, but he doesn’t move. Neither do any of the other pups.

“Good,” Minseok says, turning back around and moving on. “Very good.”

They are walking in the forest again, but everything is different two years later. At eight, Jungkook has grown taller. His hair is growing out, curling around his ears and at the base of his neck.

The pups are lighter on their feet, swift in stepping around the rocks and dead branches. They barely make a sound as they move through the underbrush. Their training has taught them to blend into their surroundings, to pass by unnoticed.

“You are all still too small to take on big game,” Minseok continues. “You’re not ready for that yet. So we’ll start small too. Each of you will be assigned one animal to hunt and bring back to me, alive. Your first lesson in death is to capture your prey alone. No one will help you in this, just like how no one can do your killing for you.”

The pups all nod, and then Minseok stops and turns to face them. He moves down the line, assigning each of them an animal, until he reaches Jungkook and pauses. “There is one animal I should assign to you,” Minseok says sharply. His gaze is chilled, and Jungkook shivers. “The name that the omega calls you. I should make you hunt a bunny to get rid of that ridiculous name.”

The other pups are snickering, and Jungkook feels the embarrassment flame across his face. He doesn’t know what to say.

“But that would hardly be a challenge, making you hunt a bunny. An omega could do that,” Minseok continues. “You will hunt for a shrike, pup.”

Jungkook bows his head in acceptance. He will not fail at this.

Shrikes are small, quick, and flighty. They are especially revered in Jungkook’s pack, for how they display their kills. It is an unspoken rite of passage, for older alphas, to kill a shrike, to wear its feathers. Jungkook feels proud that he’s been assigned this animal. Obviously, Minseok had thought him worthy enough to hunt one.

The problem lies in actually capturing a shrike, however.

Jungkook has no idea how to do it. He is not quick enough to catch the bird with his bare hands, and his wolf is no help, because he’s too big, too clumsy for this quick catch.

He needs to find a way to slow the shrike down, if he has any hope of catching it. But how would he do that?

“What’s got you so worried?” Seokjin asks. He bops Jungkook’s nose with his finger and then wraps one arm around Jungkook’s, pulling the younger alpha towards him. “Your face is all scrunched up in thought. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

“Ah, nothing hyung,” Jungkook sighs. “It’s alpha stuff.”

“Oh,” Seokjin says. The tone of his voice is off, and Jungkook slides a glance at him. Seokjin looks a little downtrodden. “Do you really need to hide it from me?”

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows. “I’m not hiding it from you, hyung. It’s just that…it’s alpha stuff. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Well, why don’t you try me?” Seokjin offers.

Jungkook feels little annoyed. “Why? It’s not like you could help me, you’re not an alpha.”

Seokjin stiffens, and Jungkook immediately feels bad. “Hyung…”

“No, you’re right,” Seokjin says quietly. “I’m not an alpha. I’m an omega. I never thought that you would think that means I’m less than you.”

“You’re not hyung,” Jungkook says, a little desperately because Seokjin’s pulled his arm from Jungkook’s grasp. “Hyung, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

Seokjin still won’t look at him.

“Hyung,” Jungkook whispers, a little more brokenly this time.

And Seokjin exhales, turning back to the younger alpha. “Alright, don’t cry, bunny, I forgive you.”

“I didn’t mean it,” Jungkook says again. He reaches out for Seokjin, and this time Seokjin lets him hold on to his hand. “I promise. It’s just that Minseok-seonsaengnim gave us a hunting assignment, and I’m not sure what to do. I have to capture a bird.”

“Oh, wow,” Seokjin murmurs. “That sounds tough.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook says glumly. “It’s too fast. I don’t know how to slow it down enough to catch one.”

Seokjin doesn’t answer, and then it’s silent for a few moments except for the crackling fire and the sound of crickets in the night air.

“Why don’t you try to trap the bird?” Seokjin asks.

“Trap?” Jungkook echos.

“Yeah,” Seokjin says. “Set up some way so the bird can’t escape. Then you catch it.”

“That’s…that’s brilliant, hyung,” Jungkook breathes. “That’ll work for sure!”

Seokjin laughs at Jungkook wide smile. “I’m glad I could help you, bunny. See? Omegas can be useful for hunting too, right?”

“I never said you weren’t,” Jungkook says, leaning into Seokjin’s sturdy form. “Hyung?”

“Yeah?”

Jungkook chews on his lip. “Can you…not call me bunny where other people can hear?”

Seokjin is silent again. “Why?” He asks eventually. “You don’t like that name?”

“I like it,” Jungkook reassures him. “But it’s not really a name for an alpha, you know?”

“Yeah,” Seokjin sighs. “I know.”

Jungkook’s fingers work quickly at tying knots. The netting he has made is strong, with small holes that the shrike won’t be able to escape from. He’s made his way out of the forest, into an open field to set up his trap. He’s worked hard at setting up the trigger system, so that when the shrike gets lured in by the bait, the net will snap shut and trap the bird inside.

He thinks it’s pretty genius.

He returns to the trap a few hours later, and sure enough, he’s caught one. He sets down the wooden cage he’d made, staring down at his catch. The shrike is small, with long tail feathers that he’s only ever seen braided into the hair of the alphas around camp. He can’t believe he’s been this successful, that he will be accepted as one of those alphas.

The shrike claws at his hands as he loosens the trap, but it doesn’t bother him. He’s too giddy with the feeling of his success.

He finds Minseok with the other alpha pups, arms crossed over his muscular chest as he oversees their training. Earlier today, Minseok had given him permission to go hunt for a shrike with a smirk that Jungkook hadn’t quite understood.

“Seonsaengnim,” Jungkook calls quietly.

Minseok glances over, and then he does a double take.

“What’s this?”

“I caught a shrike, seonsaengnim,” Jungkook tells him unnecessarily. He holds up the wooden cage. Inside, the shrike is screeching, fluttering around in attempt to escape.

“…What?” Minseok murmurs, too quietly for it to be intentional.

“I caught a shrike,” Jungkook repeats. He doesn’t understand the perplexed look on Minseok’s face, but he likes the jealous expressions on the faces of the other alpha pups. So far, Hanbin had been the only pup to catch his prey, and Jungkook knows a shrike is way better than a squirrel.

Minseok moves closer, taking the cage from Jungkook and examining the bird inside, as if he still can’t believe that it is a shrike.

“This is…” Minseok starts to say, then he stops. He snaps his gaze to Jungkook, suddenly, fixing the young alpha with an austere look. “How?”

Jungkook puffs up with pride. “I caught it in a trap.”

“A…trap?” Minseok questions.

“Yes, seonsangnim,” Jungkook nods. “I lured the shrike into a trap and caught it.”

“I see,” Minseok says quietly. It’s a little foreboding, the way Minseok looks down at the bird, the way the other pups are silent, the way Minseok’s expression is blank of emotion. “It all makes sense now.”

What makes sense? Jungkook thinks.

Minseok laughs, suddenly, and he looks back at Jungkook. The humour in his eyes is cruel; Jungkook abruptly feels very afraid.

“A trap is something an omega would use,” Minseok tells them. “Alphas should be strong enough, fast enough, to catch their prey without the use of something so deceitful. But then, you were never really a true alpha anyway, were you pup?”

The other alpha pups start to snicker, a vicious laughter that makes Jungkook flush in embarrassment.

“That’s not-” he tries to explain.

Minseok grabs him, suddenly, a tight grip around the back of his neck, pressing painfully into his scent glands and Jungkook abruptly goes limp at the hold. His arms and legs feel like jelly, and his mouth doesn’t move quite right for him to speak. His wolf is cowering, belly flat to the ground, ears back, tail pressed close to his body.

“Shut your damn mouth,” Minseok snaps. “You have no voice here. You’re worth nothing more than an omega. You really came to me, thinking that you had been successful in your hunt? I should have made you kill a bunny all along, freak.”

He releases Jungkook with a shove, and he goes tumbling backwards, hands grating painfully against rock as he falls to the ground. He’s breathing heavily, and he doesn’t look up at the wolves that are staring down at him. He understands that he is the prey here.

“You failed, pup,” Minseok tells him. He’s holding the cage, and he opens the door, releasing the shrike up into the sky. “You’re no alpha. You never will be.”

“What did you do?”

His Umma is in a sour mood when he finally returns to their tent.

“What did you do?” She repeats, cuffing the back of his head when he gives her a confused look.

“What do you mean?”

“The other alphas are all saying that you failed your hunt,” his Umma snaps. “How could you be so foolish?”

“It wasn’t like that,” Jungkook objects. He oddly feels like he might cry, but he’s not sure why. His Umma’s expression is unforgiving. “I didn’t know that I couldn’t use a trap.”

“You should have known!” She says. “I didn’t raise you to be so stupid!”

“You didn’t raise me at all,” Jungkook mutters, and he earns a sharp slap to his face for that.

His Umma exhales heavily. “I’m doing the best that I can. But if you’re not even going to try with your alpha training, then what’s the point? You might as well give up now.”

“No,” Jungkook says swiftly. “No, I’m not giving up. Umma, I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t seem like you are,” his Umma tells him. “You constantly disrespect me, you make me work so hard for you, and then you don’t even try with your alpha training!”

“Umma, I’m sorry,” Jungkook says again. There is a panic tight in his gut, at the disappointed look on his Umma’s face. “I’m trying, I really am. This was just a mistake. It won’t happen again.”

“It better not,” his Umma warns. “I’ve already given you so many chances, I don’t know how many more I can give you at this point.”

Jungkook looks down at his feet. He feels very pathetic suddenly.

“I don’t want to hear any more excuses,” she tells him sharply. “I better not hear about any more stupid mistakes either, do you understand me?”

“Yes Umma.”

“I heard about it, about what happened.”

Seokjin’s voice is quiet. He approaches Jungkook slowly, like he’s approaching an animal that might startle and bolt at the first sign of movement. He stops when he reaches Jungkook’s side.

Jungkook doesn’t reply.

“I’m so sorry that happened to you, bunny.”

Jungkook’s jaw clenches. “I told you not to call me that, hyung.”

“Right,” Seokjin says softly. “Sorry Jungkook.”

Jungkook doesn’t answer again. He continues to collect sticks for kindling, and despite his standoffish attitude, Seokjin doesn’t leave him. It’s quiet for a few moments, only the sound of the birds calling above them filtering down to their ears.

“You were supposed to fail,” Seokjin blurts out, suddenly.

Jungkook stands up, slowly, and he finally turns to face the omega. “…what?”

“You were supposed to fail,” Seokjin repeats. “Minseok-seonsaengnim told you to hunt for a shrike because he knew that you would fail. Shrikes are difficult for most alphas to catch, and he wanted to humiliate you by making you the only pup who didn’t catch their prey.”

Jungkook stares at Seokjin. “How could you know that?”

“I heard some of the omegas talking about it,” Seokjin reveals. “I swear, Jungkook, I didn’t know about it until after everything happened.”

Jungkook turns away again and continues to collect sticks.

“Jungkook,” Seokjin calls out. He reaches for Jungkook’s hand, but the alpha withdraws from his touch.

“I’m busy right now, hyung,” Jungkook tells him. “Alpha stuff.”

It’s silent for a moment, but he knows Seokjin is still there because he doesn’t hear any footsteps fading away.

“Do you blame me?” Seokjin asks suddenly.

“For what?” Jungkook says.

“…you blame me, don’t you,” Seokjin continues, and Jungkook turns back to face him again.

“For what, hyung?”

“For giving you that idea.”

Jungkook sighs. “No. It’s like you said, I would have failed either way. But I should have at least tried to succeed as an alpha.”

“But you did,” Seokjin says. He moves closer, and Jungkook’s expression remains blank. “Jungkook, our pack thinks that what you did wasn’t what an alpha should do, but that’s just our pack. There are no real rules about alphas and omegas. We can do whatever we want!”

“But I’m an alpha of this pack, hyung,” Jungkook tells him. “If I don’t follow their rules, then what am I? Where do I belong? I can’t do whatever I want, so stop saying that. You don’t get it.”

“No, you don’t get it,” Seokjin disagrees.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Jungkook turns his back to Seokjin again. “You’re not an alpha, hyung. You’ll never understand.”

Seokjin hiccups a breath behind him, and Jungkook realizes that he is crying. Still, he doesn’t turn to look.

“Please, please don’t let them do this to you, Jungkook,” Seokjin whispers. “Please don’t leave me.”

Of course he wouldn’t leave, that was the whole point, Jungkook thinks. Jungkook would never go anywhere. He’d never become the alpha he wanted to be.

☽

Minseok’s lessons become more and more challenging throughout the years as they undergo alpha training. His demands become more specific too; his criticism becomes sharper, like knives twisting deep into open wounds. He knows exactly what to say to make each of the pups cower in submission.

Jungkook did not think of Minseok’s indifference as a kindness when he was only six. Now that Minseok’s shifted to maliciousness to keep them in line, Jungkook wishes he could go back to being ignored.

He vacillates between neglect and abuse from not only Minseok, but everyone else in his pack. He’s used to this, he should be used to this. If he is not ignored, he’s shoved, hit, occasionally even kicked. He used to have Seokjin to break up this cycle, but know he’s not sure he even has that. He supposes that this is growing up. Seokjin used to say that sometimes cruelty got passed down to the next generation the same way packs handed down their traditional stories.

“What is that?” Jungkook asks in curiosity. “Cruelty? What does that mean?”

Seokjin pauses. He is fourteen now, and much taller than Jungkook. He looks less like the omega pups and more like the grown omegas with each passing day. Jungkook’s Umma says it’s because Seokjin’s body is preparing for his future alpha. Jungkook thinks that it’s because Seokjin doesn’t smile anymore.

“Cruelty is being mean,” Seokjin says. “But, intentionally. It’s when you cause someone pain, but you wanted them to be in pain.”

Oh, Jungkook thinks, relieved. He knows that he’s caused a lot of pain in his short life, but he’s never done it intentionally. At least, not that he’s been aware of.

“So that cruelty, the ability to cause so much harm to another person, it gets passed down in packs,” Seokjin continues. He’s not looking at Jungkook. He seems to be a million miles away. “And that’s exactly what our pack does. That’s what we are.”

Oh, Jungkook thinks again. Maybe he is cruel. Maybe he hadn’t realized it. Maybe Jungkook’s story was never meant to be a good one.

Minseok leaves them alone more often now that they are all approaching their tenth year. Jungkook is the only one who hasn’t had his birthday yet. In early summer, all of the alpha pups are shirtless as they fish in the cold lake with sharpened harpoons. Jungkook’s loose pants are rolled up to his knees, and a cord necklace hangs around his neck, the wooden wolf totem that Seokjin made years ago swinging and hitting his chest with each of his movements.

Chanyoung is the closest pup to him, and Jungkook’s already caught three fish to Chanyoung’s one. He feels a faint flash of pride as he catches another.

There must be a look on his face that gives it away, because suddenly Chanyoung is calling out.

“Something funny, freak?”

Jungkook immediately wipes his face of emotion. “No.”

The other pups look over, wandering closer and abandoning the search for tonight’s dinner.

“You had a stupid look on your face,” Chanyoung says. He’s bigger than Jungkook, heavier too. The look on his face is ugly, and it’s not helped by Chanyoung’s general unattractive features. Jungkook thinks he might be better looking if he didn’t spend so much time bullying the pack omegas into doing things for him.

Jungkook shrugs. He could take on Chanyoung, as long as the other alpha pups didn’t interfere. Chanyoung may be bigger, but Jungkook is faster.

“You were laughing at me.” Chanyoung sounds mad now. His hands are clenching around his harpoon, like he might be thinking of using it against Jungkook. Jungkook’s own hands flex around the strong wood.

The other three alphas crowd behind Chanyoung, and then Hanbin, the eldest, steps forward.

“What’s going on?”

“The freak thought he could laugh at me,” Chanyoung says. “He thinks he’s better than us.”

Jungkook doesn’t say a word, but he supposes Chanyoung isn’t wrong. Jungkook may be a freak, but he doesn’t think he’s the worst one out of their group. In fact, he thinks he might be the hardest working even if Minseok never acknowledges it. Jungkook has a lot to prove to the pack, if he has any hope of remaining as one of them.

“Is that so?” Hanbin asks calmly. He’s staring Jungkook down with delight in his eyes, like he knows something Jungkook doesn’t. Jungkook feels unease curl in his gut. “I guess it must feel that way since he has a guarantee to stay in the pack.”

Jungkook frowns.

“What do you mean?” Jungho pipes up. “None of us have a guarantee.”

“Jungkook’s Umma is sleeping with Minseok-seonsaengnim,” Hanbin says. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of Jungkook. “So Jungkook’s guaranteed to pass the alpha test. That’s why he looks so good, compared to the rest of us. Because Minseok-seonsaengnim makes it easier for him.”

“That’s not true,” Jungkook denies. He has no idea how Hanbin knows what happened months ago.

“Which part?” Hanbin asks. “Some of the pack omegas, my Umma included, say Minseok-seonsaengnim goes to your tent while we’re out here training. They say that he stays in there for hours. They say that your Umma’s a whore. Are you calling my Umma a liar?”

When Jungkook was younger, he’d thought that whore meant an unmated omega. He thought that any unmated omega with a pup was a whore.

Now he knows he was right; he just hadn’t realized it was meant to derogate.

“Don’t call my Umma that,” Jungkook snaps. He feels anger simmering just below the surface of his skin. His wolf is snapping, growling at him to do something, to defend himself.

“But that’s what she is,” Hanbin tells him. His lips have curled up into a frightening grin. “Your Umma is a whore who spreads her legs for any alpha who’ll have her. Your Appa is probably some dirty lone wolf who was too weak for any pack to take in. Your Umma’s a disgrace to this pack, and so are you.”

Hanbin turns away, as if the conversation is over. But Jungkook’s anger boils over.

He throws his harpoon aside, and runs at Hanbin, splashing through the shallow water to tackle the other alpha. They go down in a heap, and Jungkook pants for breath as he heaves himself up, making another run for Hanbin.

This time, the other alpha is prepared, meeting him with a punch aimed at Jungkook’s unprotected side. He manages to dodge, slamming into Hanbin again, trying to take the other alpha down. The wrestle for a moment, Jungkook slamming his fist into Hanbin’s face, and Jungkook nearly gets the upper hand.

But then there are hands gripping onto both of Jungkook’s arms, dragging him off of Hanbin who is stumbling to get himself back to his feet, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth where his teeth have cut his lip. Chanyoung and Jungho both have a grip on Jungkook, holding him between them even as he struggles furiously.

Hanbin is glaring at him as he wipes blood from his lips. “Hold him,” he orders, and then he approaches.

“You think you can take me on?” Hanbin asks. He grips Jungkook’s hair. “I’ll kill you, freak. I’ll be the last thing you see before you die!”

He shoves Jungkook’s head down, below the surface of the water. Jungkook struggles even more now, desperate to escape the tight grasp that the three other alphas have on him. Hanbin lifts his head up again, and Jungkook gasps for air. It feels like he can’t get enough oxygen in.

“Learn your damn lesson!”

Jungkook is shoved back under the water, and it stings at his eyes. He tries to find leverage to push himself up by planting his feet on the ground, but they keep slipping on the sandy bottom. He feels faint at the effort it takes to fight against the other wolves as his lungs burn from holding his breath.

He’s pulled up again.

“You’re a freak! And nobody wants you in this pack!”

He’s shoved back under. No matter how hard he struggles, he cannot escape. He might die here, now, in the shallow water of a lake ten minutes away from camp, away from his Umma, away from Seokjin. Darkness creeps in at the edges of his vision, the painful burning of his lungs becoming too much to handle.

He’s hauled up and out of the water, the hands gripping his arms disappearing.

He feels so weak he can barely walk. Strong arms drag him towards the shore that he can barely make out. His gaze is fuzzy, and he can’t see straight. He’s tossed down onto the sand, and he recognizes Kyungho’s scent as the other alpha rolls him onto his side.

Jungkook throws up, struggling to hold himself up on buckling arms, and Kyungho retreats in disgust. Jungkook’s lungs feel like they’re burning, even as he draws in fresh breaths of air. He feels like he can’t get enough air in. Water trickles down his face and mixes with his uncontrollable tears.

Faintly, he can hear Minseok-seonsaengnim talking. It is quiet, slow, even. It is terrifying.

When he finally has enough strength to lift himself into a sitting position, he sees the three other alphas kneeling on the sand. Minseok stands above them. He has never seen an expression as harsh as the one that Minseok is wearing on his face; Jungkook cannot look at it for too long.

“You think you have any kind of authority over who lives and dies in this pack?” Minseok asks them. “You think you have any say?”

The group is silent.

“You. Are. Nothing!” Minseok snaps, and with each word he aims a blow to the three alpha’s faces. All three struggle back to their knees. “Each and every one of you is nothing. Your voices mean nothing, your thoughts mean nothing. You haven’t earned it yet. I don’t care what little stupid things you argue about, but when it comes to taking a life – that’s not your choice. Do you think you have more of a say than Alpha?”

Changyoung, Jungho, and Hanbin cower in complete and utter submission. Not a single one of them lifts their heads.

“That’s what I thought,” Minseok says. He scoffs in disbelief. “I can barely consider any of you to be alphas.”

He turns his back on the three pups, moving over to Jungkook. He looks down at Jungkook, a severe expression on his face. “And you. You couldn’t fight any of them off? Pathetic.”

He faces the whole group now. “You think you know what death means because you can hunt? Because your wolf has learned to track and kill prey? You’re all weak. You haven’t learned anything.” He is angrier than Jungkook’s ever seen him before.

“Since you’re all so desperate to learn how to kill, I’ll make that our next lesson. You’ll learn what death really means to our human forms.”

It is a week later. Minseok is still furious with them.

It has simmered into a general harshness that wasn’t there before. He is more likely to hit them for a smaller mistake now. All the pups tread carefully, unwilling to direct his anger towards them.

They follow Minseok through the forest, heading farther away from camp then they ever have before. They are in their wolf forms, running steadily in line behind Minseok’s larger form, barely making a sound in the quiet of the forest.

Eventually Minseok slows to a stop, and they shift back into their human forms, hastily tugging on the pants that they’ve brought with them.

“Before we go any further,” Minseok says. “We need to talk about what is going to happen today.”

He examines each pup with disdain in his eyes.

“We will be encountering something none of you has ever had to deal with before. Our greatest enemy.”

“A rival pack?” Chanyoung asks stupidly. Minseok glares at him, and Chanyoung lowers his eyes.

“No,” Minseok says. “It is an enemy that you’ve only heard about in our stories. Maybe an enemy you thought wasn’t even real.”

Humans, Jungkook thinks.

“Humans,” Minseok says. Kyungho inhales sharply. “We’ve been tracking a group of them for a few days. Today, death will be your lesson.”

“We’re killing humans?” Hanbin can’t help but ask. Minseok doesn’t deem this worthy of a response, but he doesn’t seem as bothered, probably because of the anticipation in Hanbin’s voice.

“I shouldn’t have to remind you,” Minseok tells them. “Of the stories. Of what humans have done to us. Of the pain humans have caused, and how they almost eradicated our entire species. It is our role, no, our job, as alphas, to kill them on sight. Is that clear?”

“Yes Alpha,” they say together.

“Excellent,” Minseok says. He turns, and they fall in line.

They walk for another hundred metres together, this time in their human forms. The closer they get, the more Jungkook can smell them. He scents the air, discreetly, curious.

Unlike wolves, the humans all smell the same. There is no distinct scent between them; it is just the faint smell of body odour. Nothing in their scent distinguishes between rank, strength, or ability. They are so loud too; Jungkook picks up on their voices almost immediately.

Minseok and the pups come to a stop as they crest a hill, dropping down to observe the group of humans in the meadow below. They are covered by the tree line, unseen by the humans.

In total there are ten humans; six are adults, and four are children. The children are running around, playing a game while the adults are cooking over an open fire. There is a brightness to the group, in the way the children are laughing, the way the adults are smiling. They do not look like predators; at least, not the kind Jungkook is used to.

“We will kill them all,” Minseok says.

Jungkook realizes abruptly, that he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to do this.

He is capable of killing prey, of killing his next meal. He’s capable of killing when it’s necessary to protect himself and his pack, and eventually his mate.

But this is killing because of opportunity. Because of a story. Because he’s supposed to believe that the group of humans in the meadow below is a threat to his pack. This is cruelty; this is what Jungkook was made to do.

But what does Jungkook know? Maybe it was an illusion. Maybe humans really were capable of harming him, just like every other wolf in his pack had done his whole life. Maybe everybody’s default setting was to cause harm, and Jungkook was only learning how to protect himself from it.

Perhaps the lesson was that Jungkook should always attack first, to save himself from having to defend later. Jungkook should hurt others before they hurt him. It is the only way to protect himself.

“This is going to be fun,” Hanbin says.

Jungkook thinks he might throw up. He doesn’t want to do this. He has to do this.

He is an alpha.

He wishes he was all the way back in their camp, seated with Seokjin, listening to the older omega talk about his day and relaxing into the soothing scent of flowers.

He should not think about Seokjin.

But he wishes Seokjin was here. He desperately wishes Seokjin would take him away from here.

He must be an alpha, and Seokjin is not an alpha. He can’t think about Seokjin saving him.

He steels himself; he silences every doubting voice screaming at him not to do this. He thinks, faintly, of Seokjin’s bright smile, before he banishes that thought too.

“Do we kill them as wolves?” Kyungho asks.

“No,” Minseok says. “We do this in our human forms. This is how you become an alpha. This is how you learn to kill. After you do this, you’ll be able to do anything.”

Jungkook would be able to stay with the pack. Jungkook would be able to protect Seokjin.

It is with that final thought that Jungkook gives up the last of his turmoil.

They set upon the humans.

Minseok reaches the group first, sliding into group and slashing at the throat of one of the adults before disappearing into the night again. There is a brief moment of silence, where they humans don’t seem to understand, and then all hell breaks loose.

The humans are screaming, terrified, knocking over their supplies as they try to escape.

Jungkook reaches his first target, tackling the human to the ground. Even though he is a pup, he is still much stronger than the adult human, and so despite how much the human struggles, it is easy for Jungkook to maintain control and pin the human down.

The human looks up at him in shock.

“You’re just a child!” The human gasps, staring up at Jungkook with wide eyes. “Don’t do this, please!”

Jungkook doesn’t flinch. He is ice cold, nothing able to penetrate the exterior wall he’s built around himself. He is an alpha. He reaches behind him for the blade he keeps at his lower back, and then drives it deep into the human’s throat.

Jungkook listens to him gurgle on his last few breaths, and still, he does not flinch.

He’s up, wiping the blade on his pants, searching for his next victim. He flips the blade over in his hands, and then pulls back and lets it fly through the air as it impales itself into the back of another human that was escaping into the night. He runs over, and he can hear the pained moans of the human. With one final slash to the throat, this human is dead too.

Jungkook has learned so much from Minseok; it’s obvious to him now. He is putting all of his training to use – how to kill, how to track, how empty himself of compassion so that only an unfeeling ruthlessness remains.

Satisfied, he pulls the blade out, wiping it down again.

He hears a soft whimper.

He snaps his head up, looking for the source. Hiding behind a rock is one of the human children. He’s small, probably around Jungkook’s age, and he stares at Jungkook with wide, terrified eyes. He’s covering his mouth with both hands, trying not to make a noise. He’s breathing heavily, tears streaming down his face.

Jungkook stares back. The child is crying. When was the last time Jungkook cried? He cannot remember. After a moment, he moves closer, and the boy’s bare feet scrabble at the ground, as he tries to press himself back into the rock and away from Jungkook.

Jungkook pauses for a moment. The adults’ fear of him is different – it is understandable. He was supposed to instill fear into the humans, and it is an achievement that he was able to do so. But he doesn’t feel any sense of pride at the terror in this child’s eyes.

The child’s eyes are a soft brown; they remind him of Seokjin’s.

The horror washes over him in a sudden tsunami, like a dam has broken. What has he done?

He has never been so close to something that resembles himself so much, but that is so different at the same time. The child’s scent remains faint, despite his fear. Jungkook can only read the panic in his eyes; there is no indication of it in his human scent.

“Human,” he grunts, despite himself. He does not know what else to call him. Do humans even use language?

The boy hiccups, and his hands lower from his mouth.

“What are you?” The boy asks. He shakes with each hitching inhale.

Jungkook tilts his head. How could this boy not know? Humans hunt wolves; it is their only real predator.

Jungkook knows he must kill this boy, just like he killed the adults. But there is something stopping him, something that feels vaguely like regret. He finds it much harder to push his feelings aside; the boy reminds him so much of the omega pups back at camp. The boy is young, soft, unable to protect himself.

He reaches a hand out, a bloodied hand, and traces the boy’s features. Why are human children so much like wolf pups? Why would predators resemble their prey so much? How would Jungkook ever be able to differentiate between the two on sight alone?

“Kill him.”

Minseok is standing above Jungkook, as Jungkook crouches over the boy. They both flinch, Jungkook less so than the human boy, who lets out a squeak of pure fear. He’s glancing between Jungkook and Minseok, like he can’t tell who is more dangerous. And then Jungkook nods in acceptance, reaching for his knife. His fascination doesn’t matter; his fascination will only do more harm than good.

“No,” Minseok says, and Jungkook stills his hand. “Kill him with your bite. You are a wolf, remember?”

“Yes, seonsaengnim,” Jungkook says quietly. The boy is looking up at him, terrified, and Jungkook’s jaw unhinges as his teeth elongate in his mouth, sharpening, saliva pooling.

The boy lets out a terrified scream, and then Jungkook bites.

He holds on, feels the blood pooling in his mouth and running down the chest of the human. The boy struggles, valiantly, trying to push Jungkook off of him. He scratches at Jungkook chest and arms, pulling at his hair and the cord around his neck. Eventually, he falls still.

“Very good,” Minseok praises, moving away.

Once he’s far enough, Jungkook pulls back. He licks once at the wound, though it doesn’t do much to help. The human boy is so still he could be mistaken for dead.

“You’re okay,” Jungkook whispers. He can hear the heartbeat of the human child.

The boy blinks his eyes open and stares up at him, one hand fluttering over the wound at the junction of his neck and shoulder.

“Don’t touch it,” Jungkook commands softly. “It shouldn’t kill you. I only made it look like it did. I made sure not to hit anything important. Keep pressure on it so it can heal.”

The boy says nothing. He’s staring at Jungkook with wide brown eyes, hiccupping breaths that seem to expand and contract in his chest violently. His blood stains his skin a reddish-brown, and it’s soaked into the fabric of his white shirt too.

Jungkook has no idea why he saved him. Why he didn’t kill him. Minseok’s instructions were clear, and Jungkook’s never disobeyed him before. But Jungkook hadn’t liked what they’d been told to do. He hadn’t liked it at all.

But despite this, he’d managed one good thing. He’d managed to save one human, protected him from Minseok’s orders. He’d spared this child’s life, and Jungkook thinks he cannot be wholly cruel if he was able to do one good thing.

“We’re leaving soon, just wait until we’re gone and then you can find your way back home. Keep hiding back here and don’t move,” Jungkook instructs. He scans the field, and he’s removed enough from Minseok and the other pups that they won’t notice that one human has been left alive. He looks back down at the boy, and his breath suddenly catches at the hatred in his expression. Jungkook’s doesn’t understand.

“You’re a monster,” the boy breathes, looking up at Jungkook as if reality has just hit him. His voice is malicious, hostile. The fear has seemingly disappeared, replaced instead with a raging fury. “You’re a monster.”

…monster?

But Jungkook had saved his life.

Monster?

Jungkook had disobeyed Minseok’s direct order.

Monster?

Jungkook steps back from the boy. When he lifts his hands to sweep his hair from his face, his eyes catch on bloodstained palms.

Monster.

He doesn’t say anything more, and the boy does not speak as Jungkook leaves him, rejoining the other wolves at the centre of the human’s camp. It has been completely destroyed; the dead bodies are scattered around the camp, a moment of stillness capturing their desperation to escape. Jungkook passes the bodies of the three other children.

He feels a kind of discomfort in his gut, the same feeling he gets right before he vomits; dizziness, nausea, the way he breaks out into a cold sweat, the taste of bile at the back of his throat.

…I want to go home. It is a forlorn, hopeless, whisper of a thought, deep in Jungkook’s mind. It is the wish of the child he once was.

He ignores it. This is what it means to be an alpha.

He doesn’t tell Seokjin about this part; he’s not sure what Seokjin would say, and he thinks maybe this is something that is only for alphas to know. He doesn’t think he wants Seokjin to know what happened here anyway.

He doesn’t want to know what Seokjin would think of him.

☾

“Tell me a story,” Jungkook demands.

Seokjin’s laugh is loud, melodic. It escapes into the summer breeze that swirls through the meadow surrounding them, carried on the warm winds.

“What do you want to hear about?” Seokjin asks. “Another story about the adventures of bunny?”

“No,” Jungkook tells him. “I’m too old for that now.”

“Why, because you’re five?” Seokjin asks. “You liked my stories about bunny’s adventures last week.”

“I know,” Jungkook says. “But all the other pups say that their parents tell them real stories. About scary stuff.”

Seokjin frowns. “You want a scary story bun?” He seems reluctant.

“Well,” Jungkook says. He doesn’t really, but he thinks he should want one. His tiny hand tightens its hold on Seokjin’s bigger one. “Yeah. I want to hear one.”

“I don’t know,” Seokjin sounds troubled.

“Tell me about the humans,” Jungkook offers. He’s heard the other pups mention them.

Seokjin sighs. “Oh, alright. I’ll tell you a story about the humans.”

He rearranges his robes, and he lets Jungkook pillow his head in Seokjin’s lap. Seokjin starts to run his fingers through Jungkook’s hair, and it’s so soothing that he almost forgets about the story.

“Tell it to me!”

“Okay, bun,” Seokjin laughs. “A long time ago, wolves and humans weren’t so separated. Packs came across humans quite frequently. Most of the time, it was cordial, friendly. Packs were even allowed to adopt human children who were orphans and had no family to take them in. But one day, it all changed. No one really knows when the change started, but packs started disappearing. Hunters appeared, tracking down wolf packs and annihilating them. Whole towns died in these attacks. The hunters were using a weapon that we’d never encountered before – wolfsbane.”

Jungkook shivers, and Seokjin draws him in closer.

“We still don’t have a real cure for it,” Seokjin continues. “It is a poison to us. And with wolfsbane, the humans were able to decimate our numbers. The wolf population dwindled down to only a few hundred. We were almost completely wiped out.”

“So what happened?” Jungkook whispers.

“The first Alpha,” Seokjin tells him. “The first Alpha saved us all.”

“What do you mean?”

“Before this happened, there was no difference between wolves,” Seokjin tells him, whispers it like a secret. “There was no alpha, no omega. But when our numbers got so low, our biology changed. It altered itself to survive the only way it knew how. Some wolves became alphas – the protectors, born to be bigger, stronger, built to kill humans, but more importantly, built to lead us out of our inevitable destruction. But a balance had to be maintained; alphas couldn’t exist without omegas. Alphas would destroy each other if there were no omegas to balance the pack. So some wolves became omegas – the heart of the pack, strong in a different sense. Our purpose is to create balance, harmony. So that all wolves can coexist peacefully.”

Jungkook is silent as he ponders this. “So what happened? We got our revenge on the humans?”

Seokjin is silent for a moment. He keeps running his fingers through Jungkook’s hair, and then he bops on Jungkook’s nose with a finger, and Jungkook goes cross-eyed to follow the movement.

“Revenge is a ticking time-bomb, bun,” Seokjin says. “You carry it with you, until it explodes, destroying everything around you and leaving you grasping at pieces. The first Alpha was smart enough to realize that. The first Omega made him understand. So no, they didn’t get revenge. They did something a lot better.”

“What’s that?”

“They made all human knowledge of us disappear. We don’t exist anymore.”

☽

Summer passes by, a series of long, blistering hot days and warm nights. Jungkook sleeps outside more often than not, partly because of the heat and partly because his Umma can’t stand the sight of him these days. The older he gets, the less she is able to look him in the face. His tenth birthday passes, and his Umma gets so drunk that she throws up in their tent. Jungkook has to clean it in the river, without any help because he hasn’t spoken to Seokjin in three weeks.

He’s not exactly upset at this, either. The longer he goes without speaking to Seokjin, the easier it is to accept what happened with the humans. To accept what he did, what he is. He was so scared the first night they got back, that he would see Seokjin, that Seokjin would take one look at him and now exactly how cruel Jungkook had been; exactly what horror Jungkook had committed.

But he’s not allowed to see Seokjin. No unmated alphas are.

Seokjin turns fifteen with a huge, pack-wide celebration, and even Alpha gifts him an elaborate present of beautiful earrings and necklaces. Seokjin’s never left alone, now. He’s always attended to by at least one mated alpha as a guard, and he gets to go on trips to visit surrounding packs. Sometimes Jungkook tries to catch his eye from a distance, to wave hello, but Seokjin’s gaze remains lowered, demure.

He wonders if Seokjin found out. He wonders if Seokjin knows, and if Seokjin hates him now. He feels something unpleasant curling deep in his gut, something that makes him feel sick to his stomach. He wonders if Seokjin forgot about him.

He hasn’t spoken to Seokjin in months.

He can’t remember the last time his Umma said more than two words to him.

When was the last time he said something?

“Jungkook,” he tests. His voice is raspy, rough from disuse. He says it quietly, so it’s barely discernable over the sound of the rushing river. He’s alone, but this still feels too private to say above a whisper. “Jungkook.”

That’s his name. Not freak, not monster, not pup. Those are the names he is called, but his real name is Jungkook. He wants someone to say it to him, and to smile while they do. It feels like too big of a dream, to much of a wish, but he can’t help how much he wants it anyway.

“Jungkook.”

☾

“Jungkook!”

He whirls at the sound of the harsh whisper, blinking in surprise. There’s no one there.

“Jungkook! Over here!”

He steps forward hesitantly, making his way around the back of one of the large tents set up for food. His feet sink into the soft ground made wet by the late April showers.

“…hyung?”

Seokjin is crouching behind the tent, his long hair tied back in a braid, wearing much simpler robes than the traditional ones he normally wears.

“Oh my god,” Seokjin whispers. He motions for Jungkook to come closer, straightening up as the alpha comes around the back of the tent.

Jungkook lets out a puff of air as the taller omega pulls him into a tight hug, burying his face into Jungkook’s shoulder. “Oh my god, I’ve missed you bunny.”

“Hyung?” Jungkook asks again; his voice warbles with emotion. He can’t even be upset at the nickname; he’s too happy to see Seokjin again. His hands come up to grip tightly at the back of Seokjin’s robes, and he closes his eyes. He feels soothed by the sound of Seokjin’s melodic voice, by the scent of flowers that surrounds him.

“I’ve missed you so much, bun,” Seokjin says again. “You know that right?”

“You didn’t forget about me?” Jungkook can’t help but ask, voice timid and muffled in Seokjin’s robes.

“No, of course not,” Seokjin tells him. “I could never, ever forget you, bun. Ever.”

Jungkook relaxes further into the hug, and then Seokjin pulls away. “I don’t know how much time we have to spend like this,” Seokjin says. “They might already notice I’m gone.”

“What do you mean?” Jungkook asks.

“The alpha assigned to me,” Seokjin says. He glances around, then meets Jungkook’s eyes again. “I’m not supposed to go anywhere without them. Not until I’m mated. And I’m not allowed to be here, with you, until after I’m mated. And even then, I might not be able to see you.”

“Why not?” Jungkook asks.

“It’s just the way things are,” Seokjin tells him. He sounds like he might cry. “Because I’m an omega. Because that’s all I’ll ever be. If I was an alpha, I would have more of a choice.”

“Oh,” Jungkook says. Choice? A choice in what? He feels a panic, momentarily, that he’s made the wrong choice without knowing it. What has he ever had a choice in?

“I might have to leave this pack,” Seokjin says then, voice thin and wavering. “I wanted you to find out from me.”

“What?” Jungkook breathes. “Hyung, no.”

“I’m sorry.” Seokjin’s voice cracks, and suddenly Jungkook cannot see him clearly anymore. His gaze is blurry with tears, and Jungkook presses his hands to his eyes angrily, wiping at tears with rough hands. He doesn’t want to cry.

“Hyung, no!” Jungkook begs. The panic has intensified to an insurmountable level; it feels like his chest is too tight to breathe, it feels like someone is screaming at him inside his head, it feels like he is falling apart. There is very little holding him together now. “You can’t leave me here, alone. Please, don’t do this to me.”

He can’t be alone anymore, he can’t, he hates it. Seokjin is the only thing he has in this world.

“I’m sorry,” Seokjin says again. He sounds like he’s crying. “I have to go now, bunny.”

Before Jungkook can say anything more, Seokjin is gone, moving swiftly around the side of the tent and disappearing in a swirl of robes.

Leave? Seokjin would have to leave?

What had Jungkook done so wrong to deserve this? What choice had he made that lead to this?

He remembers the humans in the meadow, and he groans, sinking down into a crouch, his head falling forward heavily. Perhaps one cruelty was being repaid with another.

He doesn’t know how long he stays there, crouched to the ground in an attempt to hold himself together, before the wind changes, unsettling the dead leaves at Jungkook’s feet, and brings with it the sudden sharp scent of burning flowers.

Jungkook’s head snaps up.

He takes off in the next moment, tracking the scent all the way passed three more tents and into the cover of the forest until he curves around the side of the rock face and pauses at the sight of Seokjin with three unmated alphas.

They are all alphas who have already been through their trials, but young enough that they haven’t found mates yet. They are all much bigger than Jungkook.

Seokjin is caught between them, and he smells terrified.

“Hyung!”

All four heads turn to his direction when he calls out, and Jungkook realizes immediately how stupid it was. He’s supposed to be a much better alpha than this.

Seokjin struggles in his captors’ hold. “Jungkookie!”

Jungkook moves forward, eyeing the way two of the alphas have a tight grip on Seokjin, the way Seokjin’s robes have been ripped at his sleeves, the way Seokjin’s braid is a mess, loose strands falling out. There is mud smeared against his cheek and the front of his robe, like he’d been pushed to the ground.

“Well, well, well,” one of the alphas says. She’s smirking. “Look what we have here. A little pup, thinking he can defend an omega. Do you want to play, little puppy?”

Jungkook releases a low growl at the taunt, and all three alphas laugh loudly.

“I think he wants to play,” one of the alphas holding Seokjin says. He’s the tallest of the group, and the thinnest. The other alpha is much stockier, with blond hair.

“Go on, Haeun,” the blond one says. “Play with him. Show the freak what he gets when he bites off more than he can chew.”

“No, please, no!” Seokjin pleads, trying to meet the gaze of each alpha. “Don’t hurt him.”

The alphas all laugh again. “Aw, do you need an omega to protect you, puppy?” Haeun mocks. “Are you scared of the big, bad alpha?”

“Let go of him,” Jungkook demands. “Before I make you.”

Haeun finds this hilarious. “What are you going to do if I don’t, freak?”

Jungkook reaches back for his blade that he keeps at his lower back, and then lets it fly.

“Mother fucker!” Haeun snaps, as the blade meets flesh, embedding itself into the soft muscle between her chest and shoulder. She looks up, but Jungkook’s already moving, taking hold of the blade and kicking out at the same time, sweeping Haeun’s feet out from under her as he pulls the blade out.

Haeun goes down in a heap, but she moves quickly, so that when Jungkook brings the blade down again, Haeun’s gone, rolled back to a crouching position.

“You’re one crazy pup, huh,” Haeun says, not looking so amused anymore.

Jungkook bares his teeth. “I said let him go.”

Haeun smirks. “I said no.”

Jungkook charges again, and they meet, snapping at each other. He slices at Haeun’s side with his blade, but misses. Haeun manages to get a hit in hard enough to Jungkook’s side that he gets winded, but Jungkook retaliates with a couple of punches to her face and Haeun has to release him.

They meet again, Jungkook getting a kick to Haeun’s side, but then Haeun gets a good enough grip on Jungkook’s wrist to force him to drop the knife. It goes flying somewhere into the bush.

But Jungkook has his teeth.

He lowers his jaw, elongating his teeth, releases an inhuman growl as he snaps at Haeun with his bite.

“You fucking freak!”

Haeun stumbles back, and Jungkook has the upper hand. She’s is bleeding from the stab to her shoulder, and from the other hits Jungkook’s managed to get in. Jungkook cradles his ribs, but it doesn’t matter now. One more hit and he can take Haeun down.

Haeun scrambles backwards as Jungkook advances, and then she surges to her feet. Jungkook has a split second to realize that Haeun’s hand has closed around a sharp rock, before it’s too late.

There is a sickening crunch as rock meets flesh, and Jungkook’s head snaps around from the force of the impact. In the sudden silence that follows, Jungkook drops like a sack of stones, knees hitting the ground hard, and then the rest of his body falls forward. His arms don’t come up to brace for the impact of the fall and his head bounces on the ground as his body collapses.

And then, Seokjin screams.

Jungkook can barely see through the warm blood that is suddenly running like rivulets from his face, stinging his eyes and clogging his mouth. He can taste it on his tongue and down his throat. Seokjin has renewed his struggle, desperately calling Jungkook’s name.

“Oh, fuck!” One of the alphas curses. “Did you kill him?”

“Who cares?” Haeun says dismissively. She drops the rock to the ground, turning to the group. “Now that that’s been dealt with, let’s have some fun, omega.”

Jungkook watches with vision tinged red with blood as Seokjin is dragged back through the forest, still desperately screaming his name.

When he wakes up, night has fallen.

He can’t remember, for a moment, why he is lying in the middle of the forest, covered in blood. He brings one hand up to touch at his face. The wound has healed, but it was deep enough to leave a scar on his cheek.

And then he remembers.

He pushes himself up, despite a wave of dizziness that threatens to cause him to faint again, and stumbles through the bush. But it’s been too long, and he’s too weak. He can’t track Seokjin’s scent.

He careens back into camp, desperate for help, but he falters at the sight.

Camp is empty.

He blinks, uncomprehending. The tents are still here, but there are no wolves. He doesn’t understand. He walks slowly through the camp, until he scents the air and follows the trail outside of camp, and all the way down into an open field.

When he gets closer, he finally understands.

“Where have you been?” his Umma snaps, when he steps up beside her. “And why are you covered in blood? I’m not washing your clothes, I hope you know that.”

“What happened?” he murmurs.

“They were caught trying to mate one of the pack omegas,” his Umma tells him. “Seokjin. Luckily, they were found before Seokjin lost his worth as an unmated omega.”

Jungkook’s eyes flicker to where his Umma is pointing. Seokjin can barely be seen behind the alphas who stand guard around him, or the omegas who’re hugging him in comfort. Seokjin is crying, silently.

Jungkook flickers his gaze over to the three alphas from the woods. All three have been tied to erected posts in the field, and they are shirtless. Already, each of their backs are bloodied by whip marks.

Alpha is standing alone, holding the whip.

“You really think you could go behind my back and mate with one of my omegas?”

He snaps the whip at each of them again, and the blond alpha releases a guttural noise in pain.

“You thought of challenging me?”

The whip snaps.

“That omega belongs to me!”

☽

He does not see Seokjin again.

He meets Seokjin’s gaze once, at one of the summer celebrations. Seokjin does not wave; Seokjin does not smile.

Seokjin’s eyes glaze over him with the same disregard as his Umma, as Minseok, as Alpha.

It hurts. It hurts worse than the rock to his face, than when Minseok broke his arm, than the time he’d been pushed from a tree by the other alpha pups and fallen ten feet to the ground below.

It hurts, but Jungkook deserves it.

(Seokjin’s attack was his fault, he knows. Seokjin had only snuck away from his guard to see Jungkook, after all. Jungkook really is a cruelty to everything he touches.)

☾

It is the panicked footsteps that first pulls Jungkook from his sleep.

Next, it’s the frantic calls across camp.

The scent of camp has changed; something ominous has replaced it.

Jungkook pushes himself up. He’s sleeping outside again, because he’s welcomed less and less in his Umma’s tent now that he’s eleven. He’s a year away from his alpha trials at this point, so he’s sure it’s because his Umma thinks he won’t pass them.

He moves like a shadow through camp, trying to figure out what has happened, what’s wrong.

The alphas are in an uproar; they are assembling into their tracking units. The units are only meant for big hunts.

“…can’t be gone long…”

“Did anyone catch a scent?”

“Who saw him last?”

“Seokjin ran away!”

…What?

Jungkook stops. The early morning light has barely crested the horizon, and the cool October air bites at Jungkook’s skin, but it is nothing compared to the ice that spreads throughout Jungkook’s body like a sickness, freezing him from the inside out.

What?

That can’t be right; Seokjin can’t be missing.

He turns back, takes off in a quick sprint to Seokjin’s tent. But he can see it even before he gets close – the tent flaps are wide open, and it is empty inside.

Nononononononono!

He runs again. He can track Seokjin, he has to. He’s the best tracker in his group of alphas, he always has been. His nose has always been the best.

He can’t, he can’t, don’t LEAVE ME

He shifts into his wolf form and he’s in the forest in the next second, his paws pounding at the forest floor and scaring away small prey as they scatter into the trees. He can pick up Seokjin’s scent, but it’s so faint that it might disappear with the next gust of wind.

Please come back, come back, I’ll do ANYTHING

He follows the scent up a hill and down into a valley, and then back up another hill.

You said you would protect me, you said you wouldn’t forget me!

He bursts through the trees and splashes into the rushing river, shifting back into his human form. Seokjin’s scent has vanished. He was smart, using the river. Jungkook would have done the same if he had to disappear.

He’s hit with the brutal truth, with the harsh reality of the situation.

Seokjin is gone.

Jungkook breath catches. He thinks, distantly, that he might be hyperventilating. He’s never had a panic attack before, but he can’t imagine giving this feeling a different name, because the onslaught of pain is so overwhelming that he thinks his heart might give out. Why hadn’t he ever been trained to defend himself against an attack like this? He can’t get oxygen into his lungs fast enough and his vision is fuzzy, and he feels like he might collapse from the agony.

A scream rips from his throat, from deep in his chest, visceral and inhuman. Or perhaps, it is a reaction so human that it terrifies him to his core. The sharp wailing cry echoes into the surrounding forest, bouncing back into his ears. It’s the bloodcurdling sound of a frightened child, lost in the midst of a dark forest with no way out. He falls to his hands and knees, the cold water like ice against his skin. It feels like his heart is beating too fast; he’s never felt this scared in his life.

The agony is unbearable. He wants to die because it’s so painful.

“Come back,” he croaks, his voice barely more than a whisper. “Please, hyung, come back.”

Don’t leave me.

☽

Jungkook’s pack life has never been particularly good. He has no other life to compare it to, except to the other alpha pups in his pack. He knows that he’s different though, because he doesn’t have an Appa. So he’s not even sure if he can compare his life to theirs.

But sometimes, when he lies beneath the stars at night, he imagines a life where his Umma was like the other Ummas of the pack. Maybe she would kiss him on his forehead, or remember his birthday. Maybe she would say “I’m proud of you” or maybe she would even say “I love you”. When he thinks about these things, he shivers, and goosebumps appear on his skin. They are things that would bring him so much happiness that it almost feels like he shouldn’t be thinking about them. That he’s not allowed to think about them.

Seokjin used to do those things, before Jungkook hurt him and made Seokjin leave him all alone, forgotten.

In fact, his absolute favourite life to imagine was one where it was just him and Seokjin, living together in the forest. Jungkook would go out hunting and bring back a meal, and Seokjin would smile at him and tell him he did a good job, and that he was a good alpha. Then Seokjin would let Jungkook curl up beside him, and tell him a story about the adventures of bunny. The stories wouldn’t even be that good, because Seokjin always laughed too hard at his own jokes before he could even finish saying them. But it would be alright, because he would run his hands through Jungkook’s hair and then he’d sing Jungkook to sleep.

And when they lived like this, alone but together, nothing could ever hurt them. Jungkook wouldn’t have to kill anybody to keep them safe, because in this imaginary world, nothing ever wanted to hurt them.

Cruelty didn’t exist here.

(But then, neither would Jungkook.)

☾

Two days pass, and then they come for Jungkook.

Two alphas drag him from his furs in the early morning. He wakes up too slowly, and he’s already halfway through camp before he thinks to try to escape their grasp. By then it’s too late.

His pack watch him with cold, unforgiving eyes, and he tries desperately to find his Umma but she’s nowhere to be seen.

“It’s the freak’s fault.”

They blame him for Seokjin’s disappearance.

He’s dragged to an erected post just outside the camp lines, exposed and open to the harsh elements. His hands are bound around the post in such a way that he’s forced to remain upright on his knees, hugging the post. The rough wood grates against his bare chest and against the insides of his arms. His hands are bound so tight that he can feel the ropes digging into his skin.

“I should have killed you when you were pulled from your Umma,” Alpha says to him. “I never should have been generous enough to let you live. You’re a plague upon our pack.”

Jungkook bows his head. He knows what comes next.

He spends three days tied to the post, whipped each afternoon for his role in Seokjin’s disappearance. It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t spoken to Seokjin in months – everyone knew they used to be close, and everyone hated it.

The first whipping he receives nearly sends him into shock from how painful it is. His back burns, it feels like it’s on fire. He can feel his own blood running down his back from the open wounds, soaking into the hem of his pants. The scent of it fills the air around him and nearly makes him sick.

It does not compare to the pain of losing Seokjin.

They keep asking him what he knows, but Jungkook doesn’t know anything. He tries to tell them he hasn’t talked to Seokjin in a long time, he tries to tell them that he doesn’t know where Seokjin went. No one believes him.

No one wants to believe him.

He’s left tied to the post that night, unable to get a good night’s sleep because he’s forced to remain upright. He misses Seokjin so deeply he feels the ache in his bones. He doesn’t even have his cord necklace with the wooden wolf totem anymore; he’d lost it after hunting the humans and he’d never been able to tell Seokjin or ask for a new one. It’s as lost to him as Seokjin is.

By the following afternoon, he’s half delirious from exhaustion, though his wounds have healed, leaving only the faintest of scars for the torture he had endured.

They whip him again.

It is both more and less painful. He keeps imagining he can see Seokjin staring at him from the crowd with sad eyes, but when he blinks, Seokjin is no longer there. Blood pools at his feet, and it stains the soles of his feet red. The sharp smell of his own blood cuts through the air and Jungkook cannot stop the tears that fall from his eyes. He’s not sure if it’s for the whipping or for Seokjin.

They whip him once more on the third day, but by that point he is too exhausted to move. His throat is raw from screaming. His wounds aren’t healing as well as they should.

Alpha decides he doesn’t know anything, but it doesn’t mean Jungkook is any less of an outcast. He is ignored by the camp, and his Umma forbids him from sharing a tent. Jungkook has nothing.

Jungkook becomes nothing.

☽

His alpha trial begins one week after his twelfth birthday.

Seokjin has been missing for a year now. He was never found, and the trail ran cold after the river. No matter how many alphas they sent out to track him, the trail came up empty. Alpha even put out feelers to other packs, but no one had seen him.

He waits at the edge of the forest, already in his wolf form, for his alpha trial to begin. He has his sack around his neck too. Though the bag is large enough to be slung around his back in his human form, he is so large as a wolf that it sits around his neck like a collar, almost disappearing into his fur. It is clipped snugly, similar to how humans would wear a bag around their hips.

No one is here to see him off, except for Minseok and Alpha. He did try to say goodbye to his Umma this morning, but she stayed in her tent and didn’t answer him when he said he’d see her soon.

“You will have three days to return to us, understand?” Alpha asks. His gaze is scornful, his tone is contemptuous. Jungkook hates him more than anyone else he’s ever known.

Jungkook bows his head in the respect he doesn’t feel, and then he takes off in a steady gait, disappearing quickly into the forest and leaving camp behind.

He travels far from camp; he knows with all the noise that large prey have been scared off. The farther from camp he gets, the bigger the prey he will find. The purpose of the alpha trials was to find prey worthy of their pack, to make the kill, and bring it back.

And, most importantly, it was to be done alone.

Wolves may be pack animals, but Jungkook’s pack had always believed that one weak wolf meant an entire weak pack. No alpha could afford to be weak. And Jungkook, the freak, could afford it even less.

His run is peaceful. The farther away from camp he gets, the more relaxed he feels. Out here in the wilderness there are no harsh words, no judging eyes. He doesn’t feel like every step he makes is the wrong one. There are no expectations of him, out here. And he has three whole days to himself.

He has always been lonely, but at least it is less obvious when he is literally alone.

He stumbles upon a bear much earlier than he expects too.

He crouches low behind a bush, watching the bear lumbering through the forest. A bear would be an excellent prize to bring back to camp; bears usually take at least three wolves to take down, but if Jungkook has the element of surprise and he’s quick on his feet, he’d be able to do it.

And then, once he brings it back, no one would be able to deny him as an alpha. He’d have a place in the pack forever.

Decision made, he moves out, paws silent against the ground as he tracks the bear. He only needs to get close enough to make one initial attack. If it’s deadly enough, he can sit back and watch the bear die.

He gets closer and closer, paws silent on the forest floor and his scent almost completely gone. His golden eyes glow in the setting sunlight. He blends so seamlessly into the surrounding forest that he is almost invisible.

He is so silent that he can hear the trickle of the stream, the huffing of the bear, and the faintest twang! of a bow.

The first arrow hits his side, just below where his ribs end, in the softest part of his body. It’s so shocking that it takes him a moment to realize what’s happened, before the sudden explosion of pain, white hot agony racing up his side.

He falters from the attack, a pained noise escaping his throat.

He’s still aware enough to hear two more arrows; he manages to dodge as the first arrow hits a tree and the second hits the ground where he was standing moments before.

It’s impossible, it’s incomprehensible. He can’t smell any other wolves but somehow there is a pack of wolves shooting at him. He catches a glimpse of them between the trees. What’s even more incomprehensible is the radiating pain from the first arrow. The pain is so agonizing he nearly blacks out from it.

He’s forced to shift into his human form to pull the arrow out. Already, he can tell something isn’t quite right. The arrow has left a blackened puncture wound in his side, and he’s not healing. The skin around the wound is hot to the touch, and it sends shooting spikes of pain throughout his body when he touches it.

He cries out at the pain of it.

Another arrow flies by, so close that it brushes his hair, and Jungkook takes off in a run, shifting back into his wolf form as he launches himself forward. He’s lost his bag somewhere behind him but it isn’t important now; he must escape this attack.

He runs and runs, no destination in mind except the single thought of making it out alive. He takes a deep breath and then pulls on his scent, taking it deep within himself so that he becomes scentless, invisible, nothing. It is the only way that he can throw off the trackers; it’s his only defense.

He should be healing by now, but he isn’t. The wound is bleeding steadily, and the pain rips through him with each step he takes. All he can focus on is keeping his scent locked deep inside; of living. But the world around him tilts sideways, and he feels like he’s going to throw up from the burning pain.

He doesn’t know how long he runs until he starts seeing black spots appear. He can’t run straight anymore; he hits two trees with his body, he trips over a rock, he falls once, twice, struggling back up to his feet. The wound at his side feels like it is slicing through his body. He can barely see; the world is titling on its axis, wobbling in his view.

In his many experiences with death, he thinks this might be the closest he’s ever gotten.

He takes one more step and then he is falling through air; his body bouncing painfully down a slope until he makes it to the bottom, and he rolls over twice until he comes to a stop, shifted back into his human form.

It is silent; Jungkook can barely move. His limbs feel like they weigh a thousand pounds each. His head feels hot and it feels like it’s pounding against his skull. He can barely see through the black spots in his vision.

He hears the quiet patter of quick footsteps, and then a shocked gasp.

“Taehyung, get my Appa!”

One set of footsteps fades away, and another pair approach. He’s gently rolled onto his back, his head lolling to the side. He cracks his eyes open.

Once, when Jungkook was still very young, Seokjin had told him a story about the most beautiful creatures that ever existed. Beautiful, delicate, and graceful; they lived up in the sky because they came from heaven. Jungkook thinks how lucky he is to have found one now.

“ ’ngel,” he croaks.

The omega boy hovering above him is beautiful. His eyes sparkle in the moonlight, and he takes hold of Jungkook’s hand tightly. His palm is soft against Jungkook’s own roughened skin. The sweet scent of cinnamon and sugar saturates the air around them and it soothes Jungkook. Everything seems to soften, suddenly; even the wound at his side isn’t so painful anymore.

“What?” The boy whispers. He sounds so worried; Jungkook doesn’t understand why.

“Angel,” he says again. He can’t believe he found one.

“No,” the boy says, confused. “That’s not my name.”

He turns around at the sound of more footsteps, but Jungkook doesn’t look away from the boy’s face. He’s just so stunning, and Jungkook’s always had a soft spot for pretty things.

Another omega drops to his knees beside Jungkook, this time an adult. He grasps Jungkook’s chin in his hand, tilting Jungkook’s face towards him.

“Oh my god,” the omega whispers. He sounds horrified. Jungkook wonders what has happened, but he can’t focus on anything besides the pain at his side and the scent of cinnamon and sugar.

“Appa, what’s wrong with his eyes?” the angelic boy whimpers.

Freak! Jungkook thinks. He’d hoped the angel wouldn’t think of him that way.

“Yeah,” a new voice asks; there is a boy hovering just behind the angel. “Why are his eyes black?”

“He’s sick,” the omega says quietly. “He’s very sick.” He lets go of Jungkook’s chin, and Jungkook immediately turns his head to look up at the angel again.

The omega moves Jungkook’s arms, and Jungkook can’t help but cry out in pain when the wound is exposed.

“Appa stop!” the angel says, and his voice cracks a little. “You’re hurting him!”

“He’s been in a lot of pain for a while,” the omega tells them. “He needs the hospital. We can’t fix this. Taehyung, can you get me a blanket from the car?”

The other boy takes off in a run, and he soon returns with a thick blue blanket. The omega takes it from Taehyung and wraps it around Jungkook’s body. “We’re going to help you, okay pup? Can you tell us your name?”

But Jungkook doesn’t answer; he’s too weak. The omega picks him up, and Jungkook tightens his grasp on the angel’s hand; he can’t let him go, not now, not for anything.

“Appa, I think he wants to hold on to me,” the angel says. His own hand tightens around Jungkook’s.

“Okay, Jimin-ah,” the omega says. “Sit in the back with him, okay? Keep him awake.”

“I will,” the angel, Jimin, says dutifully.

Jungkook is deposited onto something comfy, and then Jimin crawls in beside him, keeping hold of Jungkook’s hand. Jungkook has no idea what he’s sitting in, or what a car is, but he isn’t worried. He can’t be, not with the angel brushing his sweaty hair out of his face and whispering to him softly.

“My name is Jimin,” the angel says. “What’s your name?”

Jungkook feels too weak to answer. He only has enough energy to keep his eyes fixed on the angel, to keep hold of the angel’s hand, and so that’s all he does.

“It’s okay if you can’t tell me,” Jimin tells him. His smile is so warm despite the sparkle of tears clinging to his eyelashes. Jimin reaches over with his free hand to tuck the blanket more firmly around Jungkook’s body. “You’re probably feeling really hurt, and that’s why you don’t want to talk. It’s okay if you just want to hold my hand. I won’t let go.”

A tear slips out of Jungkook’s eye, trailing down the side of his face, and Jimin wipes it away.

“Don’t cry,” he whispers. “You’re gonna be okay, I promise.”

He leans in closer, and then his nose scrunches a little bit. “Appa,” Jimin calls out. “Why does he smell like that?”

“Like what?”

Jimin leans in closer, his nose almost brushing Jungkook’s scent gland. “Like nothing. I can’t smell him.”

There is a silence that descends in the car for a moment, and even in Jungkook’s addled state, he can tell something isn’t quite right. “He’s very sick, Jimin-ah,” the omega repeats. “His body is fighting very hard right now. We can only pray that he doesn’t give up.”

Silence falls in the car again, and then Jimin curls even closer to Jungkook. “Please don’t leave me, please live. Don’t give up.”

The angel wants him to live. Someone wants him to live.

Jungkook uses the last of his strength to tilt his head back, and his nose brushes Jimin’s scent gland.

An explosion of cinnamon and sugar melts on his tongue. “Angel,” he slurs, once more.

And then Jungkook blacks out.

When he wakes up again, he is alone. He’s lying on a white bed in a white room with white furniture.

He looks around slowly; nothing is familiar.

The clean, sterile scent grates at his nose, and he sneezes twice.

He feels a lot better now, and when he moves there is no sharp pain that races up his side. It’s a dull ache now, and his vision is clear and he no longer feels nauseous. He is shirtless, and he lifts his arm to check his left side.

The wound has closed, though the scar is unlike anything Jungkook’s ever seen. Normally, a wolf’s healing ability wouldn’t cause a scar like this to form. Jungkook brushes his fingers over the raised skin, the rough marks of the wound. The wound is black, under his skin, like a web; a facsimile of a tattoo. It spreads its onyx fingers from the wound, reaching up his ribs and towards his back.

He snaps his head up as the door opens, and a tall alpha enters his room. He’s dressed in a long white coat, and he’s carrying a clipboard.

He stops short at the sight of Jungkook’s wary gaze.

“You’re awake,” the alpha says, unnecessarily.

Jungkook doesn’t answer. He scans the alpha to determine if he is a threat. But he’s old, and Jungkook could easily slip by him. Next, he looks towards the door which the alpha has left open. There’s also the window on the other side of the room.

“My name is Hyosang. I’m the doctor who’s been looking after you. How are you feeling?”

Jungkook snaps his gaze back. He still doesn’t answer.

Hyosang moves forward, and he looks at the screens next to Jungkook’s bed. It is then that Jungkook realizes there are tubes coming down from a clear bag, and that this tube is attached to his arm. He reaches over to take it out, but the alpha’s hand stops him.

“This is medicine,” he explains. “You’ve been poisoned with wolfsbane. You need this to help flush the rest of the poison from your system.”

Jungkook frowns. His eyebrows knit in confusion. How would he have been exposed to wolfsbane?

Hyosang reaches for the bed covers, tugging them lower to expose Jungkook’s wound, perhaps in response to Jungkook’s confusion.

“You were pierced by something that was covered in wolfsbane,” he explains. “The poison was in your system for some time, but it was not enough to kill you quickly. You’re lucky you were brought here when you were; I’m not sure how long you would have lasted otherwise.”

He finishes inspecting the wound, and then draws the covers back up. “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do about the poison’s mark. Wolfsbane leaves its brand on all its victims. You’ll carry these scars for the rest of your life.”

Jungkook flickers his eyes down, and then back up. That’s not important; there is something even more essential. Something he’s not sure is real or a dream he made up in his head.

“Angel?”

Hyosang meets his eyes with a surprised look. “What?”

“Angel,” Jungkook repeats. He clears his throat. “Jimin-ah.”

The doctor frowns. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Is this your name?”

Jungkook shakes his head, perhaps a little violently because his head is starting to hurt. “Jimin-ah.”

“I don’t know who that is,” the doctor says. “I’m sorry.”

This doctor can’t help him.

Jungkook dismisses him by flicking his eyes to the closed window. The doctor remains with him for a few more minutes, asking questions Jungkook does not answer until he finally sighs in exhaustion and leaves the room. Jungkook curls into a small ball when he is finally alone.

He remembers what happened in the forest; he remembers being hunted. He remembers seeing Minseok’s face as he shot an arrow at Jungkook. He can never return to his pack, the pack that tried to kill him. He supposes in the end they never wanted him to return.

He has nothing now. He has no home, he has no pack, he has nobody other than himself.

He is, truly, utterly, alone.

A sob catches in his throat, thick and painful. But Jungkook’s always been a silent crier, and he’s still a silent crier now. The tears soak into the pillow below him, and he wipes at his wet cheeks angrily. Where does he go from here?

He rolls onto his side, and he hears a crinkling noise from beneath his pillow. He pushes himself up, and reaches underneath it. He pulls out a folded-up piece of paper.

He sits up in his bed, cross-legged, and unfolds the white paper, smoothing it out on his knee.

Hello Shadow!

I don’t know your name, so I’m calling you Shadow. It’s because your eyes are black. Appa says that they’re only black because you’re sick. What colour eyes do you normally have? I hope you feel better soon so I can see.

You fell asleep in the car. I think you were really hurt, so I hope that the hospital makes you feel better. Appa says that they’ll help you, so let them make you feel better, okay?

I wanted to stay with you longer at the hospital but you haven’t woken up yet, and Appa says that we have to go home. He said that the hospital is going to find your pack. Maybe once you’re all better you can come play alphas and omegas with me. Taehyung doesn’t like that game because he’s a beta, but I think you’d be a great alpha!

I asked Appa what an angel is, because you kept saying it, even when you were sleeping. He said that an angel is someone really beautiful, who brings light with them wherever they go. And you called me that, a lot. I really liked it. So that’s also why I called you Shadow, because shadows only exist where there is light, don’t you know? As long as I’m here, you will be too.

So please don’t leave me.

Your Angel, Jimin

Jungkook presses the letter to his chest, right above his beating heart. He can almost taste cinnamon and sugar on his tongue, he can almost hear the melodic voice in his ears.

“Angel,” he whispers, like it’s a secret only he knows. He never wants to forget. “Jimin.”

☾

Saudade (n.) – a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent person or thing that one loves. It often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never be had again.

Chapter Text

Then she summoned a huntsman and said to him, "Take Snow-White out into the woods. I never want to see her again. Kill her, and as proof that she is dead bring her lungs and her liver back to me."

The huntsman obeyed and took Snow-White into the woods. He took out his hunting knife and was about to stab it into her innocent heart when she began to cry, saying, "Oh, dear huntsman, let me live. I will run into the wild woods and never come back."

Because she was so beautiful the huntsman took pity on her, and he said, "Run away, you poor child."

He thought, "The wild animals will soon devour you anyway.”

☾

Kim Jiyoo started her day by making two coffees. One was for her, and the other was for her elderly neighbour who grew herbs on her balcony and always gifted Jiyoo with fresh peaches from the market in the summertime.

Her day started early, because she was a low-level nurse at the psychiatric hospital for alpha pups, so it meant that her pay wasn’t really that good. It also meant that she lived very far from the hospital; it took her two buses to get to work each day.

She’s lucky, though, to be assigned to the pups instead of the adult alphas. Jiyoo is a beta, so she can at least hold her own against the alpha pups. She’s heard stories about betas who’d been assigned to the adult hospital for alphas, and she understands why betas don’t interact with those patients anymore.

She doesn’t love her job, but at least she has one. Besides, most of the pups she cares for don’t have anywhere else to go, so she can’t help but feel useful for once, because the alpha pups need her.

“Good morning seonsaengnim,” she calls quietly to the alpha doctor who passes her in the hallway.

He barely glances her way, striding passed Jiyoo with determined steps. Jiyoo makes sure that she stays out of his way.

She’s one of the few beta nurses who works in this hospital. The vast majority of the doctors and nurses are alphas. There are no omegas here, and Jiyoo doesn’t know if the hospital is better or worse for it.

She closes her locker after changing into her work clothes, pinning her ID badge to her front pocket. Seoyoon, one of the only other beta nurses, waits for her by the door.

“We have a new patient coming in today,” Seoyoon tells her. “I overheard Hyosang-seonsaengnim talking about it to the other doctors. Apparently, this pup has no family and no pack. He was just picked up at the side of the road.”

“Abandoned?” Jiyoo asks. Abandonment was more common with alpha pups, especially with the pups who were deemed unworthy of remaining in the pack.

“Maybe,” Seoyoon shrugs. “Hyosang-seonsangnim said that he was poisoned with wolfsbane.”

Jiyoo draws in a sharp breath. “Who would use that on a child?”

Seoyoon looks sick just thinking about it. “I don’t know.” She stops Jiyoo with a hand on her arm, glancing up and down the hallway to make sure that they’re alone.

“What is it?”

“Don’t mention it to anyone else,” Seoyoon breathes. “But Hyosang-seonsaengnim sounded really excited about this pup. About how he was poisoned. He said he’s never had a chance to study the effects of wolfsbane in a wolf so young.”

“What?” Jiyoo whispers, nausea rolling in her stomach.

“Just…watch out for this pup, okay?” Seoyoon warns. “I don’t know what we’re getting into.”

Hyosang sits at the front of the room, in a large chair that sets him apart from the other alpha doctors. Jiyoo does not get a seat at this meeting, since she is only a beta nurse.

“Our new arrival is coming this afternoon,” Hyosang tells the room. “His name is Jungkook, and he’s twelve years old. He was brought to the general hospital three weeks ago for wolfsbane poisoning. During his stay at the hospital, old scarring revealed many other healed injuries that he’s sustained throughout his life. The major injuries include a break to his left arm, scarring on his back to indicate whipping, a fractured kneecap, and two broken ribs on the right side. Additionally, there was a puncture wound on his left side, which was the site of the wolfsbane poisoning.”

Jiyoo feels her stomach lurch at the cold assessment of facts; it’s unbelievable that a pup has suffered this much. How was he still alive?

“Jungkook did not speak at all when he first arrived at the hospital, other than the word Jimin,” Hyosang continues. “We haven’t determined the importance yet, but Jungkook has not mentioned this person again. Other than that, he’s remained quiet. He’s complied with all testing, and he’s made a remarkable recovery quite quickly.”

“No family?” Another doctor asks. “No pack?”

“Nothing that he would talk about,” Hyosang says. “It took us a week before he would speak, and even now he doesn’t say much. We only got his name and age yesterday. He is extremely wary of us, so far. No one has been able to get close, to gain his trust.”

There’s a moment of silence.

“Has he had his first rut?” Someone else asks.

“Tests show that he hasn’t,” Hyosang answers. “We’ll plan for it. It’s something we definitely need to observe.”

“Why’s that?”

“You all know that he’s been poisoned with wolfsbane,” Hyosang tells the room. “It’s been flushed out of his system now, but we don’t know what the lasting effects will be. We’ve only ever seen wolfsbane poisoning in adult wolves, and we’ve observed a pretty rapid recovery. But this is a pup. He’s still growing. I’m interested in seeing how this might affect him in terms of his development.”

“What,” another doctor chimes in. “Do you think it’ll affect his ruts?”

“Potentially,” Hyosang says. “I’m wondering if it will heighten or diminish his rut response. It’s worth investigating.”

The doctors all nod, and papers shuffle on the table.

“One more thing,” Hyosang continues. “This pup is from a nomadic pack.”

There are a few sharp breaths drawn around the table. It’s so silent a pin drop could be heard. Jiyoo is shocked too. They haven’t had a pup from a nomadic pack in years. She’d assumed nomadic packs were extinct at this point.

Hyosang seems to revel in the room’s disquiet. There’s a flash of a grin.

“Is he…feral?” One of the nurses asks. It’s a valid question, to prepare the nurses, to ensure their safety. Feral pups are unstable, unpredictable. Their response to most situations is to lash out, and more than one nurse has gotten seriously injured from the force of their attack.

“Not that I’ve been able to determine,” Hyosang reassures. “He’s been polite, quiet, and he hasn’t reacted negatively to anything that he’s encountered so far. I’ll get a rehabilitation plan in place for him once he settles in here. If you do have concerns, please bring them forward to your respective supervisors. As of now, he’ll have a week of isolation to familiarize himself with this hospital. Let’s get ready for his arrival.”

☽

The van pulls up to the front of the hospital, and Jiyoo steps out from under the protection of the stone archway. There are half a dozen steps down to the road, and by the time she makes it down, a young pup has stepped out of the car.

Jungkook is tall and broad for his age, with truly stunning features. His nose is straight and thin, his eyelashes thick and full, framing his doe eyes. His hands are big, and his shoulders are wide, hinting at the growth spurt he will one day undergo. He’s skinny too, like he hasn’t had a proper meal in months. Everything about him is closed off, distrustful, vigilant. He looks at Jiyoo with solemn eyes, and her breath catches at the dazzling gold. He’s so hauntingly beautiful it almost hurts to look.

There is this allure to him, almost, that draws her in.

She sees the way his nose twitches, and then he seems to dismiss her, turning his gaze to the two other doctors, both of whom are alphas. Jungkook doesn’t look away, a kind of tension thrumming in the air as he waits for their next move.

The wind shifts, blowing Jiyoo’s hair out of her face, and she can’t hold back the gasp of surprise.

Jungkook has no scent. She can’t smell him at all.

It’s so disconcerting that she almost backs away from the pup. His lack of scent makes her uncomfortable, tense, anxious. She wishes Hyosang had thought to prepare them for this, because this was something she’d never encountered before. She wonders what kind of sickness would take away a wolf’s scent. Was it the effect of wolfsbane on a pup?

The alpha doctors finally move, introducing themselves to Jungkook.

“…and this is Jiyoo,” one of the doctors says. “She’s the nurse in your unit. You’ll see her more than any of us, so get used to her pretty face.”

Jiyoo flushes at his words. She knows he means it mockingly; Jiyoo is not a pretty beta. And her knowledge of her own unattractiveness does not make it hurt any less. It’s always embarrassing to be humiliated in front of the new pups. It feels like an act of dominance meant to put her in her place more than anything else.

Jungkook’s eyes slide back to Jiyoo, and she offers him a kind smile, though it is more timid than usual. Everything about this pup sets off warning bells that cause her wolf to whine in panic. She is simultaneously drawn in by the elegant features and golden eyes, but also repulsed by the lack of scent, by the apathy in his gaze. She doesn’t know how to act with this new pup.

“Lead the way, Jiyoo-nim,” Jungkook says quietly, and the beta nurse jolts into action.

“Please follow me.”

She walks ahead of the group, Jungkook following behind with the two alpha doctors bordering him on both sides. It’s alarming, how silent Jungkook is. If she didn’t know better, she would think he wasn’t even there; she can’t hear him, she can’t smell him.

She stops at the doorway of Jungkook’s new room, pushing open the door and stepping aside. “This is your new home, Jungkook.”

The alpha pup stops in the doorway, his eyes swiftly cataloguing the room. There is a single bed, a desk with a chair, a sink, and a dresser. The room is undecorated, and it’s been thoroughly checked to ensure there is nothing Jungkook could use to harm himself or others.

“I’ll let you get settled,” Jiyoo tells the pup. “I’ll come by to collect you for dinner in an hour.”

Jungkook does not respond to this, but he does take a few steps into the room.

Jiyoo goes to close the door, but Jungkook’s arm shoots out, his palm slamming against the door to keep it open. It’s so strong that Jiyoo can feel a vibration through the door from how hard he’d slammed his hand down. The two alpha doctors startle in place, moving to block any escape routes, and Jungkook’s eyes flicker to each of them in calculation.

Jiyoo flinches in surprise at the sudden noise. “Ah,” she says softly, drawing Jungkook’s gaze back to her. “I just thought you’d like some privacy.”

Jungkook doesn’t move. “I want it open.”

Technically, he’s allowed to have it open. The ward itself is locked, so there’s no chance of Jungkook escaping from the hospital. But still, it’s disconcerting to see him asserting his dominance so soon. Pups were usually too scared to act out when they first arrive.

“Okay,” Jiyoo allows. “But don’t wander off. I’ll give you a tour of the ward later on, so take this time to rest.”

Jungkook slowly retracts his hand, his golden eyes watching Jiyoo’s retreat from the doorway. He doesn’t move back until the beta is far enough away that she can’t reach out to close the door.

Jiyoo shivers at his fixed stare. She can’t help it. The pup is so stoic, it’s as if he has no feelings at all.

After the rough start, Jungkook settles into the hospital rather quickly. He’s quiet, impassive, in the way people tend to get to fade into the background, to draw as little attention to themselves as possible.

Hyosang spends two whole meetings wondering at Jungkook potentially having an intellectual disability. He states it a lot meaner than that, and there’s muffled laughter around the room.

“He’s really smart, though,” Jiyoo blurts out.

She regrets it immediately as the laughter dies out, the room slowly coming to a standstill. Hyosang meets her gaze, and Jiyoo drops her eyes to the floor. Beside her, Seoyoon grips her hand tightly.

“You know something we don’t?” Hyosang asks, but Jiyoo doesn’t answer. It sounds rhetorical. “Step forward, Jiyoo-ssi.”

She hesitates for only a moment, and then she steps away from the wall. She’ s uncomfortable with so many sets of eyes, alpha eyes, staring up at her.

“Why do you say he’s…smart?” Hyosang asks.

Jiyoo bites her bottom lip. “It’s in his eyes.”

But her voice is only a whisper, and she feels even more anxious at the impatient muttering that spreads around the room.

“Speak up,” Hyosang orders.

Jiyoo swallows, and then lifts her chin. “It’s in his eyes,” she repeats, more clearly now. “It’s the way he watches everything, everyone. If you’ve ever just looked at him, you’d see it. It’s as if he’s…cataloguing everything. All the doctors, the nurses, and the other patients too.”

“Hmmm,” Hyosang murmurs. “What else?”

“He…he walks around the yard everyday looking at the fence,” Jiyoo tells them. “At first I thought he was looking for a way to escape, but he’s never tried. He’s been asking me how the locks work on the ward doors, and when I put the tracker on his wrist, he asked how that worked too. He’s extremely curious, and very, very smart. There’s just something about him…”

She trails off, suddenly, embarrassed. She doesn’t want to admit that she’d told Jungkook too much about the ward locks and the tracker before she realized what she was doing. He was just so mesmerizing; his golden eyes, his melodic voice, his dazzling features. Everything about him was so hypnotizing in the moment, but left her reeling for stable ground afterwards.

“Interesting,” Hyosang says. It’s the highest form of praise he’d ever give one of the staff, and he quickly scribbles out a few notes in his file. “Jiyoo-ssi, come with me.”

“Out of everyone in this hospital, you spend the most time with Jungkook, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Jiyoo nods her head. “I’m in charge of his ward. He sees me the most out of anyone else. He hasn’t really made any friends with the other pups yet. Or at least, not that I’ve seen.”

“Good,” Hyosang says. “I want you to be my eyes and ears.”

“What do you mean?” Jiyoo asks.

Hyosang pulls them to a stop in front of a large window, turning to face the beta nurse. “You understand how important this pup is to me, to my research,” he starts. “But I’m extremely busy. I don’t have time to observe him the same way you can. Already, you’ve seen so much and you didn’t even know it. I wouldn’t have known all those things about him if you didn’t tell me.”

“So…” Jiyoo says slowly. “You want me to report to you about him?”

“Think of it less like reporting,” Hyosang says. “And more like providing me with observational data. The pup clearly trusts you more than anyone else here if he’s asking you questions. Like you said, he hasn’t made any other friends. You’re our way in.”

It feels wrong, deceitful, to watch Jungkook like this. The pup was so clearly in need of some kind of home, and Jiyoo felt like she was taking it away from him, somehow.

“The pup needs our help,” Hyosang continues, turning to look out the window. Jiyoo follows his gaze to see Jungkook in the field below, once again on his daily stroll around the perimeter of the yard. “He needs our help, but we won’t know what kind of help he needs if we don’t watch him. You’re going to do very important work, Jiyoo-ssi.”

☾

Disciplined.

It’s the first word that comes to mind if Jiyoo had to describe Jungkook. After weeks of watching the pup, of serving him meals, of answering the rare questions he asked, she can only call him disciplined.

Everything he does seems to occur like clockwork.

He’s always awake before she arrives in the morning. He always finishes his meals, never leaving any food behind, and then tidies the dishes before stacking them in the bins for dirty plates. He follows an extremely methodical exercise routine in the yard each day; a few laps around the perimeter, push-ups, sit-ups, squats.

He’s always on time for his rehabilitation program, and Jiyoo hears no complaints other than the fact that he is so quiet.

So, he is disciplined. Stoic. Quiet. Reticent. Sad.

Undoubtably, wholly, sad.

He doesn’t cry, and his face seems to hold so little expression that she thinks it’s almost impossible for him to frown. But nevertheless, there’s a sadness that seems to consume Jungkook so completely that she wonders if he’s ever been happy.

Jungkook is always alone. He’s the embodiment of loneliness, the depths of solitude somehow held in a single person. Jiyoo doesn’t know if it’s because he prefers it this way, or because he’s grown to expect this kind of isolation.

Jiyoo doesn’t think any pup should know loneliness like this. It’s not right. It makes her so sad that she cries in the changeroom during her lunch break.

“Why don’t you play with the other pups?”

Jungkook looks surprised at her sudden question. To be fair, she had come up to him from behind, but he hadn’t startled at her voice. Jiyoo thinks he’d been tracking her walk up to him the whole time, even though he hadn’t turned to look at her.

“Don’t you want to?” Jiyoo asks, after a moment of silence. “Play with the other pups, I mean. Maybe you could make a friend.”

Jungkook tilts his head at her questioning, his soft black hair tumbling into his eyes. This close, Jiyoo can see the two tiny holes in his earlobes from having his ears pierced. He’s never worn earrings in the entire time of his living at the hospital, and Jiyoo’s never asked him about it. She doubts he would answer her anyway; Jungkook kept his life before the hospital so close to his chest that it’s practically fused into his heart.

“They haven’t asked me to join,” Jungkook says quietly.

“And you haven’t asked them to join in either,” Jiyoo rebuttals. “Someone has to make the first move. Maybe they think you don’t want to play so they haven’t asked.”

Jungkook shrugs. He’s quiet again, and Jiyoo hates it. She hates how she feels the need to fill the silence, because she knows that she should be waiting for Jungkook to talk. It’s just that Jungkook is so dismissive, when he falls into his silence, that she can’t help but talk more, hoping to get those golden eyes to light up. She’s never seen Jungkook smile, and she so desperately wants to see it happen just once.

“You want me to ask?” Jungkook says abruptly.

“Yes,” Jiyoo says slowly. “I want you to go ask the other pups if you can play with them.”

Jungkook examines her. “And this would…make you happy?”

“Well,” Jiyoo says, a little startled. “Yes, I suppose it would.”

Jungkook nods. “Okay,” he agrees. “I’ll ask.”

He leaves her then, moving from the secluded spot in the yard and making his way over to the group of pups playing. Jiyoo moves too, going to join Seoyoon under the shade that the large building provides in the mid-afternoon.

“You really seem to get through to him, huh?” Seoyoon asks, once Jiyoo stops by her side.

“What do you mean?”

“He seems to like you, a little bit,” Seoyoon tells her. “He doesn’t really let anyone else get that close to him.”

Jiyoo purses her lips. “It’s probably because I spend so much time with him. He’s just used to me at this point. I don’t really think he necessarily likes anything.”

“Maybe,” Seoyoon agrees. “Or at least, he’s more comfortable with you than with any of the alphas.”

“What, the doctors?”

“Mhm,” Seoyoon nods. “And the alpha nurses too. He hates it when they get too close, haven’t you noticed?”

Of course she had. It made Jiyoo feel special, to be the only one who Jungkook seemed to remotely trust, even if she wasn’t sure if that was the right word to use. Jungkook was less tense with her, more relaxed in the presence of the betas. His silence was more serene than it was ominous. Because when he was with the alpha doctors and nurses, Jungkook became something more like a predator; his silence was the calm before the storm, lying in wait to strike out and attack.

He hadn’t necessarily done anything yet, but it always left Jiyoo on edge, to see the swift change. She knows that he understands the alphas to be a threat to him. He treats them as a threat.

Why would he consider all alphas, especially those who were older than him, as a threat? As a danger? As something from which to protect himself? Jiyoo doesn’t know, and neither does Hyosang, but he seems delighted by this information. He wants to know what would happen if one of the alphas threatened Jungkook; he wants to know how Jungkook would react.

“He only prefers me to the alphas,” Jiyoo says. “It’s not that he necessarily likes me. I’m just the better of the two evils.”

“Don’t say that,” Seoyoon tells her. “We’re not an evil. We do really good work here.”

But Jiyoo isn’t so sure.

Before she can answer, they both startle at the sudden howling coming from the yard. They both take off in a hurry; howling means something has happened to the pups.

The alpha pups are scattered around the yard, some of them still screaming, but the reason for the howling is clear. Jungkook is on top of another pup, pinning the boy down and snapping at his neck. Jungkook’s teeth are sharpened, and it takes three nurses to pry him off the other boy. The other pup’s arm is splayed out at such an awkward angle Jiyoo is sure that his shoulder is dislocated. There’s blood running down his cheek from a sharp cut to his forehead.

Once Jungkook’s pulled back, the other pup scrambles away, tears running down his face. “Leave me alone, psycho!” The other pup yells, still backing away, holding his injured arm to his body. Jungkook quirks his head, and he’s…he’s not mad. He seems confused; he turns his head to look over at Jiyoo, eyes wide in perplexity.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, and Jiyoo shivers at the blank expression, and the flatness of his voice. This is what scares her the most about him; Jungkook treats violence as such a normal experience, it’s like he expects it.

She follows the nurses as they drag Jungkook back to his room. He’s locked in, as punishment, even though Jungkook seems truly confused at why he’s being punished in the first place.

“I thought you were going to play with them,” Jiyoo says. She stands on the other side of his door, watching him through the square hole that locks from the outside. “Why did you attack the other pup like that?”

“Attack?” Jungkook repeats. He sounds like he might laugh; he thinks it’s a joke. Jiyoo shivers again. “I didn’t attack him. I was playing.”

But he wasn’t. In all the time she spent watching him, it was almost as if Jungkook didn’t know how to play. Everything was too wild, too…foreign. He was always so rough, and maybe that could pass with the older alphas, but it was unacceptable to act that way with pups. If he wasn’t careful, Jungkook could seriously hurt someone.

So she tells him.

“It’s not playing if someone gets hurt.”

“Why not?”

Jiyoo is caught off guard. “What do you mean?”

“Why can’t someone get hurt?” Jungkook asks. He seems truly perplexed by this, his eyebrows knitting together. “We’ll just heal anyway. What’s so bad about that?”

Jiyoo gapes at him. She realizes, suddenly, that despite all of her observations, she really does not know this pup at all. “Just because we heal, doesn’t mean we should treat our pain as if it is nothing.”

Jungkook’s golden eyes meet hers.

“If we treat pain as if it is nothing,” Jiyoo tells him. “Then we’re saying it’s okay to cause pain. We’re saying it doesn’t matter how much we hurt someone, because they’ll heal anyway. And that’s not okay.”

She slams the door shut.

☽

Jungkook spends one week isolated from the rest of the alpha pups. He eats his meals in his room, and his rehabilitation program is put on hold. Jinyoung, the alpha doctor in charge of Jungkook’s rehabilitation, says it a shame. He says Jungkook was so promising. He says he thought Jungkook was doing so well.

“Is he feral?” The head nurse asks.

Hyosang shakes his head. “No, he’s not. He’s reaction isn’t enough to call him feral.”

The head nurse still looks doubtful, and Jiyoo can sense the uneasiness among the rest of the staff. What if Jungkook decides to attack one of them?

“Like Jinyoung-ssi said, Jungkook was doing well,” Hyosang placates. “This was just one set back. And if you think about it, it’s really a win for us.”

How? Jiyoo thinks.

“Jungkook is so different from the other pups,” Hyosang continues. “When he acts out like this, we really get a sense of what his life was like before he came here. He can try to hide it all he likes, but he’ll slip up. And when he does, that’s when we get to see who he really is.”

“You anticipate he’ll slip up again?” Another doctor asks.

“Of course he will,” Hyosang dismisses. “He’s not like us. He can try to conform all he likes, but a lot of this stuff is new to him. We’ll keep pushing him, prodding at him, until we can get a reaction. He can’t hide from us, not when he’s forced to react.”

It sounds wrong. It sounds so wrong, and yet no one speaks up. Jiyoo doesn’t, because she knows her place. She learned it a long time ago.

“Jiyoo-ssi,” Hyosang calls out then. “Step forward. Tell us your thoughts on the pup.”

Jiyoo does as she’s told, clearing her throat before she begins. “I spoke with Jungkook afterwards,” she says. “He didn’t really seem to understand why what he did was so wrong. He seems to…expect violence. It feels almost as if what he did, the way he acted, was normalized in his previous pack.”

“It makes sense,” Hyosang nods. “He did come from a nomadic pack. Violence is commonplace in packs like that.”

“I tried to explain to him about how alphas played,” Jiyoo continues. “The kind of…pretend fights for dominance. I told him it wasn’t real, that pups only pretended to fight so that they could learn those skills for later on in life.”

“How did he respond to this?” Hyosang asks.

“He was confused, mostly,” Jiyoo says. “He didn’t seem to understand why it wouldn’t be real. He asked me what the point of pretend playing was, if they needed to learn those skills anyway. He said that he was a real alpha, not a pretend one.”

“Interesting,” Hyosang murmurs. His eyes are alight with satisfaction. “He’s very promising.”

☾

Jungkook’s release back into the pups is met with a glaring avoidance by the other alphas. Whereas before he secluded himself from the others, now the other pups stay out of his way. No one wants to give him another chance.

He was always so alone before this, and Jiyoo wonders if he takes this new isolation as a punishment or a reward. It’s so hard to tell, when Jungkook’s face bares so little expression.

“What are you doing?” Jungkook asks, sneaking up behind Jiyoo so quietly she nearly drops her book in surprise.

“Oh,” Jiyoo says. “I’m reading. It’s a new book my neighbour lent to me.”

“Ah,” Jungkook nods, peering down at the text.

Jiyoo hesitates momentarily. “Can you…read?” It’s a fair question, since Jungkook had come from a nomadic pack. She hadn’t thought to ask it before.

Jungkook pauses, and then nods his head. “Yes.”

“Oh, good,” Jiyoo says. Jungkook continues to look down at her book. “Do you enjoy reading?”

Jungkook shrugs. “It’s something to do,” he says. “Are there books that will tell me about the stuff I’m doing wrong?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“The rules are different here,” Jungkook says softly. “I keep messing up. I’m asking if there’s a book I could read that would explain it all.”

“I could find something for you, I guess,” Jiyoo offers. “What would you like to read about?”

“Alphas, betas, and omegas,” Jungkook says promptly. “The City. Packs. Wolves. Our history.”

“Well, I’m not sure there’s one book that covers it all,” Jiyoo says. “But I’ll see what I can do.”

Jungkook reads voraciously.

He devours the books Jiyoo brings him so quickly that she makes a habit of keeping an extra book for him in her locker at all times. Sometimes he asks her questions too, but mostly he just asks her to bring books about so many more topics.

She finds him reading in the oddest places too; up high in the branches of one of the trees in the yard, tucked into the corner of the building, under the wooden deck that juts out from the side of the hospital.

“Why does he like those places?” Jiyoo wonders, staring out at him from the window of the office. Hyosang steps up beside her.

“Ah,” he says, amused. “What do all those places have in common?”

Jiyoo thinks about it, but she doesn’t know.

Hyosang taps her chin with his fingers, drawing her attention back to Jungkook. “Imagine you wanted to sneak up on him, to attack him. How would you do it, without him seeing you first?”

Jiyoo frowns. “You couldn’t. I don’t see a way that you could.”

Hyosang smirks. “Exactly.”

☽

Jungkook’s thirteenth birthday passes, and Jiyoo gifts him with a set of pencils and a sketchbook. She’s noticed how much he likes art, more so than any of the other activities, and she thinks it might be good for him to have something of his own, something that he genuinely likes.

He even draws her, and the likeness is so real that she pins it to her fridge when she gets home.

He draws the hospital, and the yard, and he draws the birds that fly overhead. But overwhelmingly, he draws a life Jiyoo does not know. He draws a boy with long hair and feathered earrings, with the cut of traditional omega robes flowing from his shoulders. He draws the forest, he draws lakes, he draws flowers.

There is another boy, too, but he draws this boy only once.

The image of the boy is beautiful; a cherubic face with plump lips, sparkling eyes and a warm smile. He draws this face with more attention than anything or anyone else.

“Who is that?” Jiyoo asks, too curious to ignore it.

Jungkook is silent for so long she thinks he might not answer.

“An angel.”

She believes it, the boy in the picture is so stunning.

“Is he from your old pack?”

“No,” Jungkook says quickly, very quickly. “No, he’s not.”

“Oh,” Jiyoo says. She watches Jungkook sketch a few more lines. “How did you meet him, then?”

This time the silence is even longer. Jiyoo fights the urge to say something just to break up the quiet.

“He saved me,” Jungkook says quietly. He traces a finger over the sketch. “He saved my life.”

☾

Jungkook enters his first rut a few weeks after his thirteenth birthday, with the telltale signs of increased aggression and territorial behaviour. He nearly attacks one of the other alpha pups for interrupting his game of chess with Jiyoo.

“He’s attached to you,” Hyosang tells her, as Jungkook is locked into his room to wait out his rut. “He trusts you. He didn’t want another pup to take your attention.”

Hyosang had seemed disappointed that Jungkook’s rut response was no different from any other alpha pup. It was appropriate for his age too; his alpha hormones raging, causing him to act out on his aggression much more than he normally would.

In a normal pack, his rut would be tempered by the presence of omegas. It would give his rut response something to focus on, while the omega’s heat would drive them to cling to their alpha. At Jungkook’s age, there was nothing sexual about ruts and heats; that wouldn’t start developing for another few years.

Jiyoo can’t help but wish, for a moment, that Jungkook had someone like an omega to focus on. Because his rut makes her think he’s more alone than ever. While Jungkook was normally so aloof in his loneliness, his rut can’t deny how alone he really is.

If Jungkook was in a normal pack, his aggression would not have come out so furiously. He would have had an omega in heat who would have clung to him, who would have soothed the aggression and cemented a bond, who would have let him know that he wasn’t alone. Ruts for alphas were the amplification of all of their most dominant traits, and it was the same for omegas in heat. It’s why they need each other, in these times. An omega in heat, alone, would be just as heartbreaking, calling out for an alpha to come and protect them.

It’s the same now. Her heart hurts at Jungkook’s lonely howls, calling out for an omega to come to him, to be gentle with him, to make everything okay again.

☽

“Is this a story?”

Jiyoo turns at the sound of Jungkook’s voice, and then peers down at the book he has splayed open in his hands. He drops down to sit across from her on the terrace as she’d been dutifully watching the other pups play outside.

“What do you mean?” She recognizes the book; it’s one she got specifically for Jungkook because he’d been asking so many questions about their history, about humans.

Jungkook closes the book and places it on the table between them. “Is this a story? Or is it true?”

“It’s true,” Jiyoo says cautiously. She doesn’t understand where this question is coming from. What other history could they have besides their own?

Jungkook frowns. He taps his fingers on the book cover, and then lifts his gaze back up to meet hers. “It says that humans can become wolves.”

“Yes,” Jiyoo confirms. “It happens.”

“How?”

Jiyoo is momentarily speechless. Of all the questions Jungkook has asked, this feels the most perplexing. All wolves know their history; what had Jungkook been taught?

“We share a history with humans,” Jiyoo starts. “We’re half human after all. So of course humans can be turned. Adult wolves can do it. There are rules and laws about it now, though, to protect our secrecy.”

“But how?”

“Well, by biting,” Jiyoo says. “It’s no different from adopting pups. Just like how adult wolves can bite a pup to bring them into their family, they can also bite human children and turn them into pups. It was done all the time before the First Alpha. It’s still done now too.”

Jungkook looks truly shocked, as if this is ground-breaking information. “Wolves would…adopt pups? And human children? Why?”

“Why not?” Jiyoo asks. “Jungkook, our history has always depending on turning humans to maintain our populations, especially considering what happened to us before the First Alpha. And then after alphas and omegas started showing up more and more, we knew that an alpha-omega bond was the most sacred. It was so sacred, that it even overruled our desire to breed. To produce pups of our own. And it’s because we already had a way of passing on our heritage to our adopted pups, our adopted humans. Jungkook, it’s not as simple as a bite. It’s so much more than that. The bite changes the pup forever; the pup becomes the biological child of whoever bit them. You wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a pup born into our world, and a human child who was bitten.”

Jungkook ponders this for a long time. He curls his knees to his chest in his chair, and looks out at the vast yard of the hospital.

Finally, he speaks up.

“Where do betas fit into all this?”

“We are what the original wolves were,” Jiyoo tells him. “Before alphas and omegas. Before everything changed. I don’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing, to be a beta.”

“Why do you say that?”

Jiyoo exhales. “It just feels lonely, sometimes. It feels like we’re the forgotten rank.”

☾

Jungkook’s questions about his readings are never-ending. But he enjoys reading, more than any other activity, and it helps the days pass through the bitter winter, the late spring, the heat of the summer. He’s approaching fourteen now, and he’s entered two more ruts, both of which were as heartbreaking as his first.

“Why do we wear these?” Jungkook asks her one day. They’re in the activity room, because there is a thunderstorm outside. Rain lashes against the hospital windows, and more than one pup flinches at the rumbling thunder.

He’s holding his wrist up, the tracker snug against his flesh. “Why do you put these on us?”

Jiyoo pauses, looking up from the game board between herself and Jungkook, rolling the dice between her fingers. “More than one pup has run away,” she tells him. “If it ever happens again, we have a reliable way of finding you.”

“Oh,” Jungkook says. Jiyoo looks back down, and releases the dice. It clatters onto the board. Lightning flashes across the room, followed by the rolling thunder.

“Why don’t you want us to shift?”

Jiyoo drops her game piece in shock, drawing back so she can look up at Jungkook again. “How do you…”

“How do I know?” Jungkook’s fingers trace over the tracker. “It wasn’t hard to guess. I could feel something when you put it on me, the first time. It’s still there, like this weight I’m forced to carry. Besides,” he says, his golden eyes staring Jiyoo down. “This was made by an omega. All of the trackers are made by omegas. Only an omega would be able to put enough moon magic into these bands to prevent us from shifting.”

“How…how could you tell?” Jiyoo breathes. She wonders, suddenly, if it was a mistake, giving Jungkook all of those books to read.

“You can’t?” Jungkook cocks his head in question. He somehow looks so innocent yet so arrogant at the same time. It’s the way his wide doe eyes gaze at her from across the table; it’s the way his disconcerting gaze seems to look right through her.

“No,” Jiyoo admits. “I mean, I know they were made by omegas. I just…I wouldn’t be able to tell, if I didn’t already know.” Jungkook shouldn’t be able to tell either; he’s only thirteen, he shouldn’t be so good at identifying scents.

“So tell me,” Jungkook says. “Why aren’t we allowed to shift? I already tried, it felt like I ran head first into a wall.”

Jiyoo bites her lip. “It’s for our safety,” she tells him finally. “We’re all weaker, in our human forms. You know that some of the pups who come through here are…unstable. Imagine what that would look like in wolf form! This just keeps everybody safer.”

Jungkook nods in understanding. “You can control us a lot more if we can’t shift.”

“No,” Jiyoo says immediately. “Jungkook, that’s not-”

“Don’t worry, I get it,” Jungkook reassures her. “I never expected this place to be any different from where I came from before.”

Jiyoo doesn’t tell Hyosang that Jungkook considers the hospital to be as bad as the nomadic pack he came from. She doesn’t think Hyosang would appreciate it, and she doesn’t want to know what kind of repercussions Jungkook would face for his thoughts.

She does, however, tell him about Jungkook’s questions, about Jungkook wanting to shift. Hyosang surprisingly considers it.

“I’m curious too,” he says, sitting back in his desk chair. Jiyoo shifts in the chair across from him, made tiny by the oversized desk that separates them in the large room. “I’m disappointed that we haven’t really seen a consequence of the wolfsbane poisoning yet. Everything about this pup can be explained by his upbringing, by his growing up in a nomadic pack. I thought the wolfsbane poisoning would have caused more damage than it did.”

“Isn’t it a good thing?” Jiyoo pipes up. “That we don’t see an effect? It means he can grow to be a good alpha. He can leave the hospital and join a pack.”

“I guess,” Hyosang says dismissively. He’s turned his chair to face away from her so he can look out the window. “I hadn’t thought to take a look at his wolf form, but it makes sense. Our wolves are more honest than we want them to be.”

Jungkook is brought to an empty room, with white floors and walls. Jiyoo watches him from behind the one-way mirror, next to Hyosang and a few of the other doctors. The room is dim, filled with wolves waiting to see if Hyosang’s hypothesis is correct. One of the doctors checks the monitor to make sure the camera is running.

Jungkook is suspicious, Jiyoo can tell. He’s sniffing at the air, and his body is tense, coiled, ready for the attack he thinks is coming. Hyosang presses down on the speaker button.

“Please remove Jungkook’s tracker.”

One of the guards steps forward, and the other watches Jungkook closely, one hand on his taser. He’s ready in case Jungkook attacks.

With a faint click the bracelet comes undone, and Jungkook immediately rubs at his wrist, staring at the window even though he can’t see through it. The two guards step back, blocking the door.

“Jungkook, please shift into your wolf form.”

The tall pup blinks in surprise. He looks over at the guards, and then takes a few steps away from them.

“Shift into your wolf form,” Hyosang repeats, more impatient this time.

Jungkook’s eyes snap back to the mirror. He moves slowly, pulling his white shirt off, and Jiyoo is not the only one who gasps at the black mark from the wolfsbane poison on the left side of Jungkook’s body. It is so ugly, and so horrifying to be reminded of the pain Jungkook had gone through when he was so young.

He turns his back to the mirror as he steps out of his white pants, and in the blink of eye he has shifted into his wolf form.

He’s huge. He’s far bigger than any of the other pups Jiyoo knows; his wolf is so big and so strong that Jiyoo is momentarily relieved he’s forced to wear the bracelet that prevents him from shifting.

And then Jungkook turns around and Jiyoo cannot stop the startled inhale, nor the quick step back she takes in pure, unadulterated fear.

She’s not the only one. Three other alpha doctors back away from the window, forgetting, perhaps, that Jungkook could not actually see them.

“My god…” one of the doctors whispers, revulsion clear in his tone.

Jungkook lifts his gaze to the mirrored window, and then he is backpedaling from his own reflection, the smallest of noises releasing from his throat. It is the whine of a terrified pup. He hits the wall behind him, and then he slides towards the corner, as if he could escape the reality of his own appearance.

Hyosang is the only one who presses forward, one hand coming up to rest on the glass. “Fascinating,” he says. His eyes are wide in delight, glittering with promise. “I knew he couldn’t hide from us. I knew it.”

Jiyoo feels faint from the fear, from the repulsion. She can’t help it, the reaction to Jungkook’s wolf form is too visceral to ignore.

Jungkook’s wolf is so hideous, so ugly, so grotesque, it feels as if the words too describe him aren’t vile enough to do it justice. He is something out of a nightmare, and Jiyoo would scream if she didn’t think that she might vomit just from opening her mouth.

She’s never seen anything like this, and she never wants to see anything like it again. She drops her gaze; she wishes she could erase the image of him from her memory.

“This is it,” Hyosang breathes. “This is what wolfsbane does. He’s become something truly monstrous.”

Jungkook’s breathing is erratic as the two guards drag him back to his room. His tracker is back on his wrist, and his human form is as hauntingly beautiful as ever.

“Why do I look like that?” he asks, voice high and thin with fear. “Noona, why do I look like that?”

Jiyoo wishes she knew. She wishes she could have prepared herself for facing the reality of who Jungkook really was.

Because their wolves never lied.

☽

She’s scared of Jungkook in a way that she wasn’t before.

Something about Jungkook had always put her on edge, but it was mixed in with a feeling of immense sympathy for the lonely alpha pup. Even more than that, Jungkook was such a beautiful child that she was so drawn to him; she’d gone beyond so many of her duties just to please him because he was so alone, because she felt so good about herself when he wasn’t dismissive with her, when he focused those golden eyes on her and made her feel useful for once in her life.

But Jiyoo can’t deny the apprehension she’d always felt around him. Maybe it was because he had no scent, or maybe it was because he was too smart, too strong, too beautiful. It felt like manipulation, almost. Like Jungkook could bend her to his every whim. But he was only fourteen, and she feels ridiculous for thinking that he would do anything like that on purpose.

But then she sees his wolf form, his monstrous wolf form, and she wonders.

She knows Jungkook’s picked up on the change, despite how much she tries to hide it. She keeps a wider berth around him now, scared of getting too close. She obsesses over his tracker, terrified it might come off, truly afraid that he might shift back into that beast and kill them all. She doesn’t know what else the wolfsbane has done to him, she doesn’t know how deep it runs.

Wolfsbane is a poison to all wolves, and someone so deeply infected must be equally poisonous too.

But she can’t help but feel guilty, when she sees the way Jungkook’s eyes dim at her retreat, or the way he stops asking her for the books she no longer brings. His downtrodden expression is so sad, she wonders if it’s another manipulation to draw her back in.

He spends more time with his sketchbook, finger tracing over the features of the angel he draws. It is only then that she notices the paper he keeps tucked in his pocket.

He pulls it out only when he thinks no one else is watching, unfolding the paper carefully, mouthing words silently that make Jiyoo think it must be a letter. He’s so protective of whatever it is, he even tucks it under his pillow at night. It never leaves his pocket during the day.

“We have to see it, obviously,” Hyosang says, when she tells him. “It could be important in letting us now exactly how to push him.”

“I’ve tried to take a look at it,” Jiyoo says. “He doesn’t let me get close enough to see.” Even more than that, Jungkook is more closed off with her now, probably in response to her own fear of him.

“Then figure something out,” Hyosang snaps. “I don’t have time to do all the work. Just bring me that letter.”

It’s sleeping pills crushed into his dinner.

She feels so guilty, so immensely guilty, at what she’s doing, but she can’t help but also admit she’s so curious about that letter. She wants to see it, she wants to know what Jungkook holds close to his heart. He never lets anyone in, and she’d been the only one who got close enough to catch a glimpse. She hates that he’s starting to shut her out, despite her own retreat from him.

Jungkook passes out pretty quickly after dinner, splayed out on his bed and snoring lightly. She sneaks into his room, careful to make sure the pills have worked and that he won’t wake up to the sight of her standing above him.

But he’s completely knocked out.

She reaches a hand under his pillow, closing her fingers around the piece of paper. When she draws it out from beneath him, she can see it’s worn around the edges where it’s folded, as if Jungkook had unfolded and refolded the letter a million times.

She takes a few steps back, and still, Jungkook slumbers on.

She closes the door behind her softly.

She so desperately wants to read the letter before she has to give it to Hyosang, but it’s as if the doctor knew her plan all along – he pulls her to his office and closes the door.

“Well?”

She hands it over, and she watches him examine the paper, before unfolding the letter.

“Dear Shadow,” he reads. Jiyoo listens as he goes on, reading the letter in its entirety. The more he reads, the worse she feels. Guilt curdles like sour milk in her stomach; the letter was nothing more than something sentimental to Jungkook, something that comforted him, something to let him know he wasn’t alone.

And she had taken it away.

“Your angel, Jimin,” Hyosang finishes. He’s silent for a moment. “Well that was disappointing.”

☾

Jungkook is put into isolation the very next day. Jiyoo hears about it when she arrives in the morning, quickly catching up to Seoyoon in the hallway.

“What happened?” She breathes. “Why is he in isolation?”

“It just happened this morning,” Seoyoon tells her. “Apparently after he woke up he had a meltdown. No, it was more than that. He just completely lost it. They had to tie him down so he wouldn’t attack the staff.”

“Why would he do that?” Jiyoo asks, praying it doesn’t have to do with what she did.

“I don’t know,” Seoyoon says. “Apparently he kept screaming for a ‘Jimin’.”

Oh, god.

“They’re running tests now, because they think he’s feral,” Seoyoon continues. “And I’d believe it, after seeing something like that. You don’t understand, Jiyoo. It was like he became something else. I don’t think any of us would have been able to hold him back, if he would have been in his wolf form.”

“We have to give it back.” Jiyoo bursts into Hyosang’s office without warning, uncaring of the protocol she’s supposed to follow.

The doctor lifts an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“The letter,” Jiyoo clarifies. “We have to give it back.” She stands in the middle of his office, still panting from the exertion of running up two flights of stairs.

Hyosang is quiet for a moment. “Why would I do that?”

Jiyoo furrows her eyebrows. “Haven’t you heard about what happened this morning? With Jungkook?”

“I saw.”

Jiyoo doesn’t understand. “He…he needs that letter back. It’s obviously something very important to him, and we took it from him.”

Hyosang chuckles then, leaning back in his office chair. “We didn’t do anything. You took the letter, Jiyoo-ssi.”

She gapes at the doctor.

“How do you think Jungkook will react when he finds out that his beloved nurse drugged him and then stole the letter while he slept? Because that’s what will happen if we give him the letter back. He’ll find out what you did.”

“Are you…are you threatening me?” Jiyoo breathes. She feels unsteady, suddenly, like she might faint from the way her heart is pounding in her chest.

“No, I’m not threatening you,” Hyosang says. “I’m telling you what the reality is. If you return the letter to Jungkook, he’ll know you took it in the first place. I wonder what that kind of betrayal would do to him.”

“But the letter isn’t important to us!” Jiyoo protests. “You said it last night! You said it was disappointing.”

“Ah,” Hyosang nods his head. “It was. It still is. But Jungkook’s reaction to losing the letter was not. He lost control, and now I can order even more tests to run because now I can say that they’re necessary for our safety. No one’s going to come to his defense now.”

We’ll keep pushing him, prodding at him, until we can get a reaction.

And Jiyoo had made that happen.

Jungkook was nothing more than an animal in a cage, made to dance to Hyosang’s tune.

The tests seem to go on forever.

She hears that all tests to determine whether Jungkook was feral came back as inconclusive, which she knows means that they just wanted an excuse to put him through even more tests. They do so many brain scans that the doctors decide it’s much easier to simply shave off all of Jungkook’s hair. She’s made to do it, taking a pair of scissors to his black locks of hair, long enough to curl around his ears. His hands have been tied down to the chair so that he can’t move. Jungkook watches as tufts of his hair fall to the floor, and he doesn’t say a word.

Afterwards, after she’s shaved his hair down to a buzz cut, and Jungkook’s been released from the chair, he lifts a hand to feel the short hair at the top of his head. She sees his hand shaking; it’s so faint, the trembling, that for a second Jiyoo’s sure she’s imagined it.

But Jungkook looks so small, in that moment. Without his long hair, his eyes seem even bigger, his face seems gaunter and more hollowed. He doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself.

When she’d been close to Jungkook, to cut his hair, she’d once again seen the small holes that were nearly closed in each of his earlobes. And then she wonders, seeing him now, seeing him without his hair, if Jungkook had been stripped of his identity in the vilest of ways.

She wonders if she’d taken something away from him; something more than just the letter and the hair on its own. She wonders if she’s taken away something so fundamental to his being.

☽

She has never trusted Hyosang. Out of all the alpha doctors, he was the best on the team, but he was also the worst kind of person. He cared more for his own reputation than for the well-being of the alpha pups in their care.

She should have known, then, that he would never have kept their secret.

The day Jungkook finds out that Jiyoo was the one who took the letter, something shifts radically. He doesn’t freak out, he doesn’t attack anyone. Perhaps he has learned how to avoid isolation now.

Instead, he turns those golden eyes on Jiyoo, and Jiyoo can see the betrayal there, the deep mistrust as the walls start to close, as he starts to shut her out completely.

“I should have known better.”

It’s the last thing he says to her. He doesn’t say anything more. He doesn’t need to, because she becomes nothing to him. He ignores her so completely that Jiyoo almost cries at how dismissive he is now. She tries to explain herself, but he walks away. Nothing she says can be good enough.

He hasn’t gotten as far as to avoid her completely though. He still lets her get close enough to touch, probably because he doesn’t consider her to be a threat, and he’d rather have her touching him than one of the alphas.

But she’s wrong again.

She doesn’t realize how wrong she was, how little he cares about her, how far she’d fallen from his regard, until the day he escapes.

He’s brought to the white examination room again, alone inside except for the two guards. It’s routine now, for the doctors to watch from behind the mirrored window as Jungkook was put through a series of tests. Today, his tracker is removed, and he undresses methodically, folding his clothes into a small pile.

He shifts, turning into his alpha wolf which never fails to make Jiyoo fearful, as he waits for instructions.

It’s a normal day. It should be a normal day.

Except that in one moment Jungkook is standing in the middle of the room, listening to the instructions broadcasted over the speakers, and in the next moment, he’s jumped both guards, claws out and slashing at their faces.

Both guards go down immediately, yelling in pain and struggling to protect themselves from further attack. But Jungkook doesn’t attack again. He scoops up his clothes with his teeth, and then runs full tilt to the door, smashing it to pieces as he breaks out into the hallway.

Inside the small room with the doctors, Jiyoo listens to them all yelling in surprise, bursting out the room to try to stop Jungkook in his tracks.

But Jungkook has too much of a head start. He bounds down the hallway, crashing through obstacles and leaving a trail of destruction in his path that slows the doctors and nurses even more.

“Catch him!” Hyosang screams. “Somebody stop him!”

Jungkook is unstoppable. He gets to the ward doors, locked and made purposefully so that no wolf could get through without a key.

Jiyoo thinks for a moment that they’ve caught him, until Jungkook shifts back to his human form. He’s holding a key card in his hands, and he swipes it quickly. The door buzzes loudly, and then Jungkook’s through, running again, this time in his human form.

It’s only when they finally make it to the ward door that Jiyoo sees her own key card abandoned on the floor. The feeling of deep betrayal sinks into her stomach.

What had she done?

☾

He runs.

Once he’s outside of the hospital, he immediately darts into the surrounding forest, because it’s more familiar to him. It’s much safer to be in territory that gives him the advantage.

He’s planned his escape over months; he’s executed it perfectly.

He has no tracker now, so they won’t be able to find him.

He has no scent either.

He only stopped once to tug on his pants. He’s left his shirt abandoned somewhere behind him. He doesn’t know if they can track him through the hospital clothing, so he wants to get rid of them as soon as he can.

He doesn’t know where to go from here. He doesn’t have a pack or a family to go back to. He wishes he could find Jimin, but he doesn’t know how he would do that. It’s been two years since he saw Jimin, and he’s sure the angel has forgotten all about him. He wishes, deep in his heart, that Jimin was looking for him too, but he knows it can’t be true.

He wishes he could see Jimin smiling down at him again. He’d thought about it, throughout all the days he spent locked up in that place, made to go through painful tests and weeks of isolation. He’d always thought about Jimin’s smile.

The world can’t be completely bad if someone like Jimin exists.

So he’ll keep running, until he can find Jimin again. Even if Jimin wants nothing to do with him, even if Jimin forgot about him. He’ll do it to keep Jimin safe. He’s seen it, how bad this world can be. If he can protect Jimin from it, then maybe his life would have purpose.

He runs and runs. His bare feet rip apart with wounds, but he thinks of Jimin’s smiling face.

☽

The year between Jungkook’s fourteenth birthday at the institution and his fifteenth birthday on the streets of the City blurs into one long endless day. Despite the other packless pups he meets on the streets, he has no friends. He trusts no one.

He is skinny, at fifteen. Bony, scrawny. He’s lived with the packless pups in the City for about a year, ever since his escape from the institute, barely stealing enough food to make a single meal between them. Jungkook wears clothes that are too small or too large, baring skinny wrists from his persistent hunger and big hands as he grows into adulthood.

He spends his days dumpster diving and stealing whatever he can to survive. He gets especially good at pickpocketing, though he does get caught a few times and he’s left bleeding and bruised in alleyways. It doesn’t matter if he’s only fifteen; he chose to steal the property of an alpha.

He is alone, because once he gets caught none of the packless pups will help him. He’s on his own. Those are the rules of the streets where they live.

He pushes himself up to his feet, leaning heavily against the brick wall. He can feel himself healing, slower than usual because he hasn’t eaten since yesterday morning and he is starving. He feels a little faint from it, and from the blood loss too. He winces as he presses his hand to his ribs; they still feel a bit tender.

It is only then that he hears the movement out in the street, the migration of many people. He looks out at the crowds walking together. Crowds like this only occur on special occasions, and when he looks up, he sees the full moon sitting high in the sky. He exhales, and then steps out into the crowd.

Crowds and events are always a safe bet. No one realizes their money is missing until it’s too late, and Jungkook is so skinny that he can easily slip between people to make his escape.

He follows the crowds all the way to the large field that has been set up for the event. Banners are hanging, booths are set up, and lights are strung up between tall wooden posts, offering light to guide the way.

In the middle is a large stage with a banner of a wolf hanging above; it is the celebration of the Wolf Moon.

Oh, Jungkook realizes. He hadn’t realized a new year had begun.

He feels a certain amount of discomfort buzzing beneath his skin, at being surrounded by so many unknown wolves. The multitude of scents almost threaten to overwhelm him, and it makes it difficult to focus on his task – stealing enough to survive.

He makes quick work of it, though, despite the haziness he feels and the way his brain pounds in his skull. He feels sicker and sicker with each passing second.

“Hey!” A voice yells out, and Jungkook flinches at it.

He’s caught!

He’s still clutching at the black wallet, the evidence in his hands, as three grown alphas turn to him. The one he’d been stealing from stares him down; he has the eyes of a hunter.

And Jungkook runs. He moves, quick on his feet, dodging around the crowd and through couples until he makes it around the back of one of the booths and watches the two wolves who’d run after him race by. He breathes a sigh of relief, slumping down. After a quick glance around to make sure no one is watching, he opens the wallet, pocketing the cash quickly, before dumping it into a nearby garbage can.

He moves on.

He contemplates buying something to eat, but one look at the prices makes his head spin. Everything is expensive, so he settles for the smell of delicious food alone. He only moves when the crowds do, following the flow towards the stage as the sudden drumming announces a change. The performances are starting.

Jungkook has never attended any Full Moon ceremonies, but he knows what they entail. He’d always watched them from a distance, in his old pack. He wasn’t allowed to participate, back then. He’d mostly watched for Seokjin anyway, because Seokjin had such a beautiful voice. He’d always tried to copy it after, in the woods by himself, singing just beneath his breath to make sure none of the other wolves in his pack could hear him.

The performance opens with a sudden dimming of lights, and then an explosion of sound as alpha dancers emerge onto the stage. He watches in awe; this is so much more extravagant than the celebrations he’d seen in his old pack.

The performance moves through alphas, betas, and omegas freely. Some sing, others dance, and the crowd joins in with ease, calling out as their various ranks perform. And then the lights dim once more, leaving only the flickering of yellow and orange hues from the fires as a tall alpha walks out on stage, face obscured by a traditional wolf mask. The expression is fearsome, hideous, with jagged teeth and his eyes are glowing through holes in the mask.

Jungkook’s breath catches in his throat as he watches. The drums start up a slow rhythm, ever so slowly accelerating as the alpha starts to chant something that is a cross between a prayer offering to the Wolf Moon and a blessing for all wolves. Dancers emerge behind him, an aggressive dance this time, to the harsh beating of the drums, but Jungkook cannot take his eyes off of the alpha still chanting, following the flow of his words, almost spell-bound.

This is what it means to be an alpha, Jungkook is sure. He has never seen an alpha so strong, so powerful, so dominant. Jungkook is in awe; he’s never, in his whole life, seen an alpha like this. This alpha is so much stronger, so much more than his previous Pack Alpha, even. If Jungkook had to be like one alpha in the world, he wants to be just like this one.

He’s so caught up in the allure, in the power emanating from the alpha onstage, that he doesn’t notice two alphas moving closer and closer until they’re right beside him, trapping him between them.

“There you are.”

A hand clamps down on Jungkook’s shoulder, and he gasps, immediately twisting to try to get free. But the hands are too strong, and Jungkook is too weak from lack of food. The crowd around him says nothing as he is dragged out, stumbling over his feet because the two alphas who are gripping him by his upper arms are moving too fast. He still tries to escape, cursing at them to let him go.

“I didn’t do anything wrong!”

One of them snorts in disbelief. “Okay.”

“Fuck you,” Jungkook snaps, trying to dig his heels in, but they only tug him forward harder and he trips over his feet again. When he regains his footing, they are tugging him into an empty tent, and he is shoved to his knees.

“Stay down,” the taller orders.

Jungkook glances between them, calculating. The taller is watching him like a hawk, but the shorter has turned away, looking back through the doorway of the tent. He doesn’t know what they want, except that maybe he should have left after stealing the wallet from their friend. He thinks that maybe he had stolen from someone more important than his usual targets.

He tries to be discreet as he looks around. The inside of the tent is sparsely decorated, with a few chairs, a table with a mirror, and a few items of clothes lying around. The opening of the tent is blocked by the two older alphas, but Jungkook could perhaps slide out beneath the bottom of the tent, where it meets the ground.

“Don’t even think about it,” the taller alpha says, moving around to come into Jungkook’s field of vision, where he had been eyeing his escape route. The shorter alpha has turned back to face him too; Jungkook’s lost his chance.

He glares up at the two of them, and they stare back impassively, until voices from outside the tent make them all glance to the doorway.

The alpha from the stage, the alpha Jungkook had been admiring, steps into the tent. He stops short at the sight of Jungkook on his knees, before he reaches up to take his mask off. It is the same alpha Jungkook stole the wallet from. Jungkook feels something like fear curdle in his gut for the first time; he isn’t sure he could get away from this alpha.

The alpha glances between the two that had caught him.

“Donghyuk, Ikje. What is this?” He moves further into the tent towards the table, sliding the mask onto the wooden stand before stripping out of his outer robe and leaving himself in a loose white shirt and black pants.

“We found him in the crowd. He’s the one who took your wallet,” Donghyuk says.

Ikje nods. “Annoying little brat. We brought him back here for you to deal with, Namjoon.”

Namjoon seems to consider this as he moves towards Jungkook’s kneeling form. “Get up.”

Jungkook clenches his jaw at the order, but he does as the older alpha orders, surging to his feet and glancing between the three wolves. They have surrounded him, and he doesn’t like it. He has no way of escaping, and he doesn’t have the element of surprise.

“I’m Namjoon. What’s your name?”

Jungkook’s only defiance is his silence.

Namjoon lifts an eyebrow. “Fine, I’ll just call you pup.”

Jungkook bares his teeth, growling, but Namjoon simply scoffs.

“It’s Jungkook,” he mutters, finally, down at his feet.

“Where is my wallet?”

Jungkook shrugs.

“He asked you a question,” Donghyuk suddenly snaps, seemingly losing his patience with Jungkook’s disobedience. He comes up from behind and grips tight at the back of Jungkook’s neck. And Jungkook immediately cowers at the sudden weakness in his knees from the pressure on his bond point, the urge to submit, a light-headedness from his hunger.

He gasps in surprise, and then Namjoon is moving.

“Get the fuck off of him, Donghyuk!” Namjoon snarls, and then the pressure disappears and Jungkook falls to his knees again, humiliated. He hears a low whine from behind him; Donghyuk submitting to Namjoon, and watches through blurred vision as Namjoon stalks over to stand beside his kneeled form. “He’s just a fucking pup!”

Jungkook wants to protest that he’s not, but he’s still gasping for breath. He only moves when a hand cups his chin, tilting his face up, and he meets Namjoon’s gaze for the first time. Namjoon inhales sharply as their eyes meet, and Jungkook does too. He’s never met another alpha, another wolf, who’s had eyes like his. Namjoon’s eyes are a much darker gold, closer to amber. Still, it’s jarring.

Freak!

They stare at each other for a moment in silence.

“Who is your Pack Alpha?”

Jungkook shakes his head, and Namjoon frowns. “Your Pack Alpha is responsible for you. I need to know who it is so I can talk with them.”

Jungkook shakes his head again. “I don’t have a Pack Alpha.”

Namjoon stares at him for a little while longer. “Did Donghyuk and Ikje do this to you?” He asks, dropping Jungkook’s chin. There is dried blood on his hands, from when Jungkook had been hit back in the alleyway.

“No,” Jungkook tells him.

“Okay,” Namjoon says, accepting this. “Get up. You’re going to show me where you dumped my wallet.”

Jungkook scrambles to his feet again. Beside him, Namjoon is a towering form, tall and broad, strength and power in his movements, authority in his voice. He is exactly what an alpha should be.

Namjoon leaves with Jungkook, dismissing Donghyuk and Ikje who’d wanted to follow. “I can handle a pup,” he says dryly, to Jungkook’s indignation. Jungkook doesn’t say a word on their walk, and neither does Namjoon.

He eventually brings Namjoon to the garbage can he’d thrown the wallet into, and Namjoon raises an eyebrow before he motions towards it with one hand, giving Jungkook an expectant look. Feeling like a chastised pup, Jungkook glares at him in defiance.

But Namjoon simply stares him down, both arms crossed over his muscular chest, and it is more dominating than Jungkook anticipates, because he feels himself fold to Namjoon’s commanding look. He digs through the trash until he finds what he’s looking for, pulling out Namjoon’s wallet and showing it to the older alpha. Namjoon finally smiles.

Jungkook doesn’t fully understand the brief bolt of happiness that shoots through him at the warm look on Namjoon’s face, at the way Namjoon seems to soften suddenly, no longer scrutinizing Jungkook through hunter’s eyes.

“Are you hungry?” Namjoon asks.

“Huh?”

“You took this from me for a reason,” Namjoon elaborates. “I assume it was for food. You look like you’re one missed meal away from completely collapsing on me.”

Jungkook flushes in humiliation. “It’s fine,” he says stiffly. “I’m fine. Can I go now?”

“No,” Namjoon says calmly. “Eat a meal with me, and then we’ll see what happens.”

Jungkook clenches his jaw, annoyed, deeply irritated that he’s trapped with this alpha. He’s distrustful of alphas, he’s never met one who didn’t have some kind of ulterior motive. He hates that he has to be on his guard with alphas, that he can’t relax. He is annoyed how much he is forced to submit to the alpha who is clearly stronger, smarter, and tougher than Jungkook.

“Fine,” Jungkook agrees mulishly, ignoring how his stomach clenches at the promise of food. “Whatever.” He falls into step next to Namjoon because he knows that he can’t escape now; Namjoon would find him easily.

Namjoon ends up buying a bunch of different foods from different booths. Jungkook can’t help but salivate at the take-out boxes presented to him, scarfing down the food as they walk.

“Slow down,” Namjoon chuckles, leading him over to an empty table. “We have time. I don’t want you to choke on your food.”

“It’s good,” Jungkook mumbles as he practically inhales the noodles from the box. He’s noticed that Namjoon’s placed the boxes of food between them, but that he’s barely touched anything after that. He’s watching Jungkook eat with a placid expression on his face, glancing around at the crowd every so often.

Jungkook eventually feels full, dropping his chopsticks into an empty container and Namjoon’s eyes snap back to his. “You were really hungry, huh?” Namjoon murmurs, but it doesn’t sound like he’s expecting an answer so Jungkook doesn’t give him one.

“Who are you staying with?” Namjoon asks then, this time expecting an answer.

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t have a pack alpha,” Namjoon says. “So I assume that means you don’t have a pack either. You’re very young to be on your own.”

“I’m not alone,” Jungkook protests.

“You’re a packless pup,” Namjoon states. “That’s dangerous. You have a higher risk than most of becoming a lone wolf.”

“What’s so bad about that?” Jungkook asks. He doesn’t see a problem with being on his own. It’s the only life he knows.

Namjoon doesn’t answer his question. “If you’re a packless pup, it means you don’t have a place to stay. Or at least, you don’t have a place that’s stable. That you can go back to. That’s safe.”

“So what?” Jungkook snaps. “What do you know?”

“More than you,” Namjoon says dismissively. “How old are you anyway? Twelve?”

“Fifteen!” Jungkook exclaims. He knows that he is skinny, scrawny, made even more pathetic by his hunger and his unkempt clothes.

“Fifteen,” Namjoon repeats, unimpressed. “You’re a pup.”

“I’ve been on my own long enough,” Jungkook tells him. “I know what I’m doing.”

“You’re stealing from me, and others,” Namjoon says plainly. “You will end up caught, and face the Head Alpha for your crimes. He is not a kind man.”

“Then I won’t get caught.”

Namjoon looks disbelieving, and even Jungkook doesn’t exactly believe the words he’s saying.

“You stole from me,” Namjoon says then. “I need recompense.”

“I gave you your wallet back,” Jungkook says mulishly. “What else do you want, and apology?”

“That’s a good start,” Namjoon tells him. “But I want more. I want you to stay where I tell you to stay. I want to be able to find you.”

“Why?”

“Because you interest me,” Namjoon says. “Because no one else is going to tell you to stop. Because you’re a goddamn pup and you need to listen.” His voice deepens as he talks, descending into his chest and Jungkook’s gaze drops at the alpha voice.

His wolf begs him to listen, to agree. He is too weak to fight back right now. His alpha needs to become stronger before he could win against someone like Namjoon.

“Fine,” he mutters. “Where do you want me to stay?”

☾

The Alpha Centre is a large building, old, made up of weathered grey stone and detailed with the likeness of wolves around the roof’s perimeter. “The first alphas,” Namjoon says, when he sees Jungkook’s curiosity.

He points to the wolf’s head directly above the entrance. It is bigger than the rest, a ferocious snarl on its face. “The First Alpha.”

The building is cool, with marble flooring, and Jungkook shivers. There is a grand staircase directly in front of them, ascending to a small platform before it diverges, two sets of stairs curling away from each other to an upper floor. On the wall above the small platform is a large picture of the First Alpha, standing tall in wolf form, overlooking all those who enter the building below.

At the back of the building, a wide lawn extends towards the forest beyond, and a gravel pathway marks the trail to Jungkook’s new home.

The house pushed back into the woods is much newer in comparison to the Alpha Centre. It is more homely, with wood floors and plush carpeting. It is run by an alpha named Hyunsik, who offers Jungkook and Namjoon a friendly smile and a bag filled with toiletries, extra socks, and a pair of mittens for the cold winter.

Jungkook’s room is on the second floor, to the right, and he shares it with three other alpha pups. They are all orphans from various packs. Jihoon is a year younger than Jungkook, but Seunghyun and Minsoo are both sixteen. They are wary of Jungkook the night he arrives, and they watch him with distrustful eyes as he makes a slow turn of the room. There are two sets of bunkbeds, pushed up against opposite walls. The bottom bunk on the right is empty, with a fresh set of sheets folded on top. There are two dressers, a mirror hanging behind the door, and a bathroom through a door on the left. Jungkook glances out the window and spots the stairs he had climbed up earlier with Namjoon. When he turns back to the other wolves, Seunghyun stands tall in front of him.

“What’s your name?”

“Jungkook,” he says, tense and suspicious.

“I’m Seunghyun. They’re Minsoo and Jihoon,” Seunghyun points to the other boys. “How old are you?”

“Fifteen.”

Seunghyun’s lips twist into a faint smirk. “I’m older. So is Minsoo. Jihoon,” he says, turning to the younger boy. “This is your new hyung.”

“Okay,” Jihoon says, voice small. Everything about him is tiny, even at fourteen. Jungkook suspects he is a runt.

Seunghyun turns back to Jungkook.

“Let’s get one thing straight,” Seunghyun tells him. “I’m Alpha of this room. That means you listen to me, got it?”

Jungkook meets his gaze, and doesn’t say a word. Minsoo shifts on the bed behind him.

“I said, got it?” Seugnhyun asks again.

“Sure,” Jungkook finally says. “I understand.”

“Good,” Seunghyun claps him on the shoulder, digging his fingers in. “Then we’ll get along just fine.”

☽

Jungkook is neither talkative nor is he friendly, but he nevertheless finds himself accepted into the group of alphas the longer he stays at the Alpha Centre. He suspects it is because he’s already had so much experience on his own, that he easily slots into the middle of the hierarchy. He doesn’t bother any of the other pups, and they don’t bother him. Unlike the institution, the alpha pups here are so much more like the pups he grew up with. It’s easy to slot his way back into what he knows. Besides, it’s even better here. No one knows him, so no one thinks of him as a freak.

His first few weeks are spent establishing his place in the hierarchy, but it’s mostly pushing back other pups who try to make him stand at the end of the line and elbowing other alphas out of the way as they try to steal his food. He doesn’t have to fight anyone for real, but it’s probably because the top of the hierarchy is so firmly established that they ignore Jungkook.

He quickly learns to hide anything of value in his bed at night and on his person during the day. He learns how to protect his food from getting stolen at mealtimes, and he learns the hierarchy of alpha pups he lives with. In total there are eleven other wolves besides him, most of which are boys. There are three girls who are all older than Jungkook.

He learns that though Seunghyun has declared himself Alpha of their room, Sungmin is the real Alpha of the pups who live in the Alpha Centre. Sungmin is sixteen, and he is much bigger than Jungkook. He is the oldest alpha still living at the Alpha Centre.

Sungmin is rare – he has lived in the Alpha Centre since he was nine, and he’s never joined a pack. He’s never been asked to. Jungkook doesn’t know why, but Jihoon whispers to him that it’s because Sungmin is so unlikeable. So malicious. So mean. He rules over the alpha pups with an iron fist, using his strength to get his way. The pups who are even younger than Jungkook are terrified of him.

The three girls ignore Sungmin, but it doesn’t take Jungkook long to notice that they never leave each other’s side when Sungmin is around. Jungkook watches and learns to avoid him too. Sungmin is cruel, Jihoon says, almost unnaturally so.

Jungkook thinks about this. He doesn’t know the difference between these cruelties – natural or otherwise. He doesn’t know if they are the same thing, or if he’s only ever been exposed to one kind. Can cruelty be natural? And if it is, does that mean it’s always been a part of Jungkook?

He watches Sungmin break the arm of an alpha pup younger than Jihoon, because the pup was playing with a soccer ball that Sungmin wanted. The pup wails in pain, running inside, probably to tell Hyunsik.

“That’s a mistake,” Jihoon tells him. Jihoon has taken to following Jungkook around, sitting next to him during meals, staying by his side during their outdoor time. He sometimes hears derisive remarks about Jihoon, about how the smaller alpha walks in his shadow, but Jungkook is unbothered. He feels sorry for Jihoon, who is so kind but ultimately also so weak. He will never be a good alpha, but it doesn’t mean that Jungkook has to make it any harder for him. In fact, sometimes he thinks Jihoon’s kindness is refreshing.

“Why?”

“Hyunsik doesn’t care. He doesn’t like it when we bother him. He wants us to be strong alphas, and that means we have settle things between ourselves, by fighting.”

Jungkook makes a soft noise. “So?” That sounds fair to him.

Jihoon looks up at him. The top of his head barely reaches Jungkook’s shoulder, he’s so small. “We’re only pups. He’s supposed to take care of us.”

Jungkook shrugs. He doesn’t see the issue. He’s looked after himself for a long time.

The pup doesn’t return until dinnertime, and Jungkook watches him, hunched over in his seat, sees the marks left on his hands and arms from Hyunsik’s punishment.

“Because he told on Sungmin, instead of dealing with it himself,” Jihoon explains. “Hyunsik doesn’t care what Sungmin does to us.”

Minsoo and Seunghyun both roll their eyes at Jihoon. “What did he expect? Alphas need to be strong. Alphas are leaders.”

Jungkook agrees, despite the rolling discomfort in his gut. The pup is crying as he eats his meal, even though he will soon heal and the pain will disappear. Jungkook turns back to his dinner.

“You never challenge Sungmin, despite what he does to us,” Jihoon says to Seunghyun, their supposed alpha, and, oddly, Seunghyun’s eyes flicker to Jungkook briefly.

“I don’t see the need to,” Seunghyun says. “He doesn’t bother me.”

“He really only bothers the younger pups,” Minsoo tells Jungkook. “Or the girls. The only thing Hyunsik ever did right is put their room at the opposite side of the house from Sungmin. And put a lock on their door.”

“What…what does that mean?” Jungkook asks. His stomach feels queasy. He puts down his spoon.

Seunghyun lifts an eyebrow. “Sungmin is the Alpha, we do whatever he says. Just stay out of his way and you’ll be fine.”

☾

Jungkook takes Seunghyun’s advice to heart, but then, Sungmin makes the first move.

Jungkook isn’t stupid. He’d figured Sungmin would eventually come after him, because as much as Jungkook maintained his position as firmly in the middle of the hierarchy, he was too strong of an alpha to remain unchallenged.

Perhaps Sungmin was just insecure about his place at the top, or perhaps he thought by challenging Jungkook, it would send a message to all the other pups. But the truth is that Jungkook is easily the strongest of all the alphas at the orphanage, and every knows it.

Jungkook had never challenged Sungmin before because he didn’t see the point. Sungmin hadn’t approached him, so Jungkook hadn’t instigated the fight. He knows he’s supposed to attack first, he knows he should have challenged Sungmin when he first arrived at the orphanage to claim the top spot, but Jungkook hadn’t cared enough to do it. He’d been more focused on himself, on what he was going to do next.

And on the alpha Namjoon, and his weird way of randomly showing up to the orphanage to take Jungkook out for the day.

So he’s been lax in his vigilance; he doesn’t see Sungmin’s move coming.

When winter finally melts into spring, Jungkook takes the opportunity to check out all of the groves he’s found in the forest beyond the orphanage during his winter runs. He can’t help it; he wants to see the flowers popping up. They’re too much of a comfort that he can’t make himself stay away.

He feels so calm all the way out here in the forest, surrounded by nature, by familiar territory, that he can almost forget all of the worries that race through him during the day and during his sleepless nights.

He naps out here, in the grove, the sun shining down on his face and providing warmth to his cool skin.

And one day, he tracks the faint hops of a bunny, as it comes closer to investigate his prone form in the field. He slowly blinks his eyes open, so he doesn’t startle the animal, and watches as the bunny hops closer.

It’s so overwhelming, the sudden melancholy he feels, the way he misses Seokjin. He has to close his eyes against the pain of it. It feels like there is a weight on his chest, and he wants to howl, to call out for Seokjin to come back to him. It’s been years, but the pain has never gone away.

He returns to the grove as much as he can, sneaking raw vegetables from mealtimes to offer the bunny that keeps returning too. Eventually, the bunny gets so used to him that he can reach out and pet it, running his fingers gently down the soft fur.

He hadn’t known he could be this gentle. His hands were made for violence, but he didn’t know they could also be used for something this serene too.

He takes in a shuddering breath.

He could be gentle too. His touch didn’t have to hurt others.

He wakes up, suddenly, one morning. The sun has barely risen, and the three other alphas are still asleep. He doesn’t know what’s woken him, but then he notices the box on the floor by his bed.

He sits up, pushing the covers off, and lowers himself down to the floor, tugging the box towards him.

He opens the lid, and then he falls into complete stillness.

It is the bunny, or at least, what’s left of it. The inside of the box is stained red with blood.

Sungmin’s scent lingers in the air.

He was not made to be gentle. His hands were made for violence.

Their fight is short and bloody. Jungkook claws so deeply across Sungmin’s shoulder and chest that Hyunsik actually has to interfere, growling at Jungkook to back off as Sungmin collapses in a heap of blood and tears. Jungkook does as he’s told, taking three steps back from Sungmin’s cowering form, watching impassively as Hyunsik rolls the boy over to check on the wounds.

He leaves Sungmin behind, the whining noises fading into the background as he makes his way passed the wide-eyed pups who look as equally scared of him as they were of Sungmin. Seunghyun lowers his gaze when he makes his way over to their group, and Jungkook understands he is now at the top of their hierarchy. He still doesn’t want it.

He can’t regret his decision to fight Sungmin, not when Sungmin had been the worse kind of alpha. But he wishes that he didn’t have to always have to become a monster just so he could live in this world.

He wishes he could be gentle, and only gentle.

☽

He’s never known an alpha like Namjoon. He’s never in his life wanted to stay friends with an alpha the way he does with Namjoon. The reaction is so immediate too. Something about Namjoon reminds him so much of Seokjin; there is a feeling of safety that Jungkook clings too desperately, despite how much life has taught him not to.

It isn’t rare for alphas to come by the orphanage and take a pup under the wing, but the amount of interest Namjoon shows in him is.

“We’re basically charity cases,” Jihoon tells him. “Pack Alphas come by to adopt us into their packs so that they look good. We really don’t have anywhere else to go. But Alpha Namjoon coming by so often to see you, to take you out of here, that’s different. He means it.”

“He means what?”

Jihoon shoots him a flat look. “You’re lucky, Jungkookie-hyung.”

Jungkook shrugs uncomfortably. It’s not like he asked for Namjoon’s attention. He can’t tell Jihoon that he met Namjoon after he stole from the older alpha, that he’d tried to run, that Namjoon had ultimately trapped him.

He doesn’t bother asking Namjoon about his interest in him. He doesn’t want to bring attention to it, in case Namjoon doesn’t know. Maybe Namjoon would stop coming by, stop showing interest in Jungkook, and the thought that he would be alone again makes him feel a fear so potent that he breaks out in a cold sweat.

In July, a heat wave hits, and lethargy snakes its way through the house. They sleep with the window open, desperate for some form of relief. Tempers flare, and the alphas start to get more territorial, itching to fight, to show their dominance. Jungkook gets in two separate fights, easily winning both, smirking as he stands alone, wiping blood from his lips with bruised knuckles.

It matches the bruising he’d received from Hyunsik, for his attitude. A pack alpha had come by and shown interest in Jungkook, but Jungkook had turned him down. He doesn’t want anyone besides Namjoon. He wouldn’t settle for any alpha less than Namjoon. And he isn’t even sure if Namjoon wants him.

Hyunsik hadn’t liked Jungkook’s disobedience, he had soon discovered.

Jihoon’s caught a summer cold, and his coughing and wheezing at night irritates Seunghyun so much that he tries to muffle the younger boy with a pillow over his face, until Jungkook pulls him down from the top bunk where he’d been kneeling over Jihoon, and slams him to the floor.

Seunghyun scrambles away, panting in exertion, and Jungkook takes his place guarding Jihoon’s prone form on the top bunk. Behind him, Jihoon is gasping for air, coughing as he struggles to breathe.

“He needs to shut the fuck up!” Seunghyun snaps. “It’s annoying, listening to him. Don’t you hear what the others say when they talk about us? They think we’re weak, because of Jihoon. We can’t all be like you, Jungkook!”

Minsoo watches warily from his own bunk, but his silence is an agreement.

Jungkook snarls. “Stay away from him. Or I won’t need a pillow to do the same thing to you.”

Seunghyun bares his teeth, but he doesn’t come any closer. Jungkook’s threat has too much weight.

“This is boring,” Minsoo announces, and Seunghyun scoffs as he turns and makes his way back to his bed. “You’re responsible for Jihoon now, Jungkook.”

Jungkook turns back to look up at the smaller alpha, and Jihoon gives him a small smile. Jungkook looks away, slumping into his own bed. He’d hated it, how Seunghyun had been hurting Jihoon simply because the other alpha was so much weaker. But Jungkook also regrets it, the hasty way he’d acted, defending Jihoon before he’d really thought about it.

Jihoon was kind. But Jihoon was weak.

Jungkook could not afford to be weak.

☾

In late August, Jihoon feels well enough again to go running. He can’t run as far as he used to; whatever illness he’d had seemed to take everything from him, despite how little he’d had to give. He’d kept them up all hours of the night with his wracking cough, until Seunghyun and Minsoo had moved out, into a different room. Jungkook had finally caved after two weeks and gone to Hyunsik to ask for a doctor.

“What for?” Hyunsik asks dispassionately. He’s seated at his desk, not looking at Jungkook. “You don’t sound sick.”

“It’s not for me,” Jungkook says. “It’s for Jihoon. He’s sick. Really sick. He has been for two weeks.”

“Two weeks?” Hyunsik repeats, looking up.

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

“I already know what’s wrong with him,” Hyunsik says, folding his hands in front of him. “Jihoon is the weakest alpha I’ve seen in a long time. If it was up to me, he would’ve been drowned in the river when he was born. That’s how you deal with him.”

Jungkook remains silent. Hyunsik fixes him with a callous look. “So? What do you think? Should I go check on him?”

“No,” Jungkook says, after a moment. “No, I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“Good,” Hyunsik says, shuffling some papers on his desk. “I’m glad we agree. Oh, and Jungkook?”

He looks up again. “Come here.”

Fuck, Jungkook thinks, hesitating for a brief moment, before taking a few steps closer. Hyunsik only stands when Jungkook comes close enough, towering over him. There’s a moment of silence before Hyunsik curls his hands into Jungkook’s hair and pulls.

Jungkook gasps in pain, ignoring the way his eyes water. Hyunsik hits him across the face, and Jungkook can’t help the pained groan, keeping his head lowered as much as he can with Hyunsik’s grip in his hair.

“Did I not tell you that I disliked being bothered with this kind of thing?” Hyunsik asks.

“Yes,” Jungkook says.

Hyunsik hits him again, an explosion of pain on the right side of Jungkook’s face.

“And yet, you still thought you’d bother me with something like this.”

Hyunsik hits him one more time, and he breaks skin. Jungkook can feels rivulets of blood trailing down his face. Hyunsik releases him, and Jungkook stumbles backwards.

“I hope you learned a lesson.”

“Yes,” Jungkook says, keeping his head lowered and feeing the anger simmering just beneath his skin.

He’d shaved his head that night, in the yellow light of their shared bathroom, watching tufts of black hair fall into the cracked sink. He remembers the same haircut he’d been given at the institution, and he wonders when he’s body will be his own. When the circumstances of his life can’t be used against him.

When he looks back up into the mirror, he pauses, lifting one hand to feel his new buzz cut, eyeing the smattering of bruising across his cheekbone, his black eye, the gash in his eyebrow. Jihoon hadn’t asked him why, and neither had Namjoon when he’d come by to see him, a few days later. The bruises had faded by then, thanks to Jungkook’s quick healing. He only gives Jungkook a bemused smile, and reaches out to rub Jungkook’s head. Jungkook doesn’t even flinch, and he’s proud of himself for that.

Jihoon’s wolf form is very small, and Jungkook is sure that he is a runt. He keeps pace with Jungkook as best as he can, and Jungkook doesn’t bother telling him that he’s slowed down quite a bit to make it easier for Jihoon. Jihoon probably already knows, anyway. Besides, it’s the least he can do for Jihoon, who’s reaction to Jungkook’s wolf had been at least better than the reaction of the doctors at the institute. Jihoon had been scared, but he’d still stayed. Jungkook makes sure that he’s always in front of Jihoon so that the smaller alpha never has to look at his face.

They swim in the pond and Jihoon tells Jungkook all about his life. Unlike Jungkook, Jihoon is like an open book. Jungkook doesn’t even need to ask questions, Jihoon offers everything up so freely.

“I have a Pack Alpha interested in me,” Jihoon shares. “He’s coming by more often now, so I might be leaving here soon. I’m going to join a pack!”

Jungkook doesn’t smile, because he hasn’t smiled in a long, long time. But he does let Jihoon squeeze his hand.

☽

Jungkook’s sixteenth birthday passes. Jihoon presses a handmade card into his hand just before breakfast that Jungkook slips into his pillowcase. Namjoon comes by after lunch and asks him what he wants to do for his birthday.

“I want to pierce my ears.”

He hasn’t stopped thinking about it, about trying to get back some pieces of himself. His hair is still so short that Jungkook wears a bucket hat so he doesn’t have to look at it.

He says it in curiosity, to see what Namjoon would do, to see if he’d think it’s weird. But the older alpha just gives him a bemused smile and says, “Alright.”

Jungkook opts for a hole in both ears, picking out two small silver hoops. They’re nothing like the earrings he wore in his childhood, back in his old pack, but they’re better than nothing. It’s a start, for him.

Namjoon peers down at the display of earrings, and then settles into the seat next to Jungkook. At his wide-eyed look, Namjoon laughs. “My birthday is next week, so this is a birthday present to myself too.”

Namjoon gets a matching set of earrings with Jungkook, and Jungkook thinks he’s a little bit ridiculous. An amazing alpha, but ridiculous. He ignored the surge of warmth in his chest, and the way he’s a little too happy at how they share something like this. He’s not sure what Namjoon means by doing this, and he doesn’t want to put more meaning into something Namjoon probably did on a whim.

Namjoon takes him out to eat, and they get their food to go so that they can eat it by the river that cuts through the heart of the City. It’s in moments like these, moments where it’s just him and Namjoon, that Jungkook feels a desperation well up inside him, nearly overflowing with the need to tell Namjoon everything. He wants to tell Namjoon about what happened to him, about the institute, about the orphanage.

But he doesn’t.

Namjoon comes to see him because it’s easy. He comes by because he likes taking Jungkook out to eat; it probably satisfies some desire inside of him to do good. Jungkook is only a proxy for Namjoon’s altruism. He doesn’t want to jinx it by making it any harder for Namjoon. If Namjoon found out what Jungkook was really like, he’d never come back.

And Jungkook knows this, because he knows Namjoon has no intention of asking Jungkook to join his pack.

“How many Pack Alphas have you met with?” Namjoon asks. He asks this every time they meet. Jungkook knows it’s because Namjoon’s asking when Jungkook will be spoken for, when Jungkook will leave the orphanage and Namjoon can finally drop him.

“A few,” Jungkook lies. He doesn’t tell Namjoon he rejects every Pack Alpha who shows interest because the only alpha he’d want to join is the very one who doesn’t want him in the first place.

“Anyone catch your attention?”

“Maybe,” Jungkook mumbles. He stretches his legs out in front of him. “I was thinking…well, I just heard about the Alpha Guard. I was thinking that might be the place for me.”

“The Alpha Guard,” Namjoon repeats. He sounds mystified. “Really? Do you know what they do?”

“Yes,” Jungkook grumbles, a little annoyed at Namjoon’s surprise. “They’re soldiers for the Head Alpha. They enforce his commands. They protect our way of life.”

“I didn’t know you were interested in the Alpha Guard.”

“What else do I have?” Jungkook asks frankly. “Packs don’t interest me. At least this way I’ll have some worth, some value.”

Namjoon is silent. He’s looking over at Jungkook, but Jungkook doesn’t turn his head to meet Namjoon’s gaze. He stares straight ahead, because he knows the minute he looks Namjoon in his topaz eyes that remind Jungkook so much of his own, he’ll cave. He’ll beg Namjoon to take him in, and Jungkook refuses to be that weak.

☾

On a blistering cold November afternoon, Jungkook waits on the front steps of the building for Namjoon. He fiddles with the sleeves of his jacket, fingers trailing the network of faint scars on the back of his right hand. They are white against the golden pigment of his skin, straggling across the skin. He only looks up when he hears the sound of footsteps.

An unknown alpha is standing in front of him. He is small, for an alpha, but there is something deadly in the way he holds himself, in his sharp scent. He looks bored, apathetic, and when he turns his face, Jungkook’s eyes catch on hideous black scarring on the right side that extends from his cheekbone to his ear. It reminds him of lightning, almost, with how jagged the scarring is. It reminds him of his own black scars.

“Are you Jungkook?”

He frowns, and doesn’t answer.

“Hmm,” the stranger says, scenting the air. “Smells like what Namjoon described.”

“Who are you?” Jungkook asks roughly.

“Min Yoongi,” the small alpha replies, looking distinctly unimpressed. Jungkook stands up, pleased that he is a little bit taller than this alpha. “Namjoon couldn’t make it today, something came up. So he sent me to take you out instead.”

“It’s okay,” Jungkook says stiffly. He doesn’t want to be stuck with someone who obviously doesn’t want to be stuck with him either. “I can see him another time.”

Yoongi sighs. “You’re being difficult.”

“You’re being annoying.”

Yoongi huffs out a laugh. “Cute,” is all he says. “Look, Namjoon was hesitant about sending me, but it would really reassure him to know that you had a good time and got out of this house. So let’s just get this over with, okay?”

Jungkook huffs in annoyance. “You’re not really that good at convincing me to go with you.”

“Do it for Namjoon, how’s that?”

Jungkook glares at the smaller alpha, but he steps off the porch and takes a few steps closer to Yoongi’s side.

“That’s what I thought.”

Yoongi takes him for a meal, and they go for lamb skewers. It’s delicious, and despite his earlier hesitance, Jungkook finds himself unintentionally relaxing in Yoongi’s company. Yoongi is as quiet as he is, but it never feels uncomfortable. Yoongi insists that he eats more, and orders more skewers for them both.

“Here,” Yoongi says, pulling out his phone. “Let’s take a picture and send it to Namjoon. He’ll be so happy to see you socializing and eating a good meal.”

“Um, okay,” Jungkook says, leaning forward to see himself in the screen. Yoongi takes a quick selfie of them both, and taps at his screen to send it to Namjoon.

“What’s your number?” Yoongi asks. “So I can send it to you too.”

“I don’t have a phone,” Jungkook tells him.

Yoongi looks up, surprised. “Really?” He slides his phone back into his pocket. “You know, for someone who’s so smart, Namjoon sure is dumb.”

Jungkook doesn’t really know what Yoongi means by that until they’re leaving the restaurant and Yoongi leads him to a cell phone shop.

“We should get the latest model,” Yoongi decides, clapping his hands together and looking expectantly at the sales associate.

“Wait, hyung, wait a second,” Jungkook says quickly. “You can’t buy me a phone.”

“I’m not,” Yoongi says, pulling out the credit card. “Namjoon is. That kid has more money than he knows what to do with. Let me spend some of it on you. It’ll make him happy.”

“Still,” Jungkook protests. “What would I use it for?”

“So that you can talk to Namjoon,” Yoongi tells him. “So that you can talk to me. It’s better this way. You need to be able to contact us, instead of just waiting around for Namjoon to show up when he’s free. That shit sucks.”

“Fine,” Jungkook eventually agrees. “But not this model.” It’s too expensive, and Jungkook doesn’t want to know what would happen if he came back to the orphanage with it. “Something cheaper. Durable. I’m only going to use it to talk to you and Namjoon-hyung, after all.”

He thinks they’re done for the day when they step out of the cell phone shop, but then Yoongi takes a look at him and then says, “Hey, do you want to see where I work? I have to go pick something up super quick. It’ll just be a second, and then I’ll take you back.”

“Um,” Jungkook says. “Sure hyung.”

Twenty minutes later, and they arrive at a small three-story building in the older part of the City. The building is old too, though the inside has been renovated and the large windows let in a lot of natural light.

“Welcome to Genius Lab,” Yoongi says.

Jungkook follows him through the building, wide-eyed at everything he sees. “What is this place?”

“It’s my baby,” Yoongi tells him. “It’s all I can do for my love for music.”

“You make music?” Jungkook asks.

“Mhm,” Yoongi nods. “It’s my life. It’s a way for me to tell my story.”

Jungkook chews on his bottom lip. “Hey,” he says, watching Yoongi’s back as the older alpha rifles through some documents on his desk. “Could I…listen to some? Like, something that you wrote?”

Yoongi turns back to face him. “Yeah,” he says. “Come with me.”

He leads Jungkook to one of the recording studios, and Jungkook plops himself down in one of the office chairs as Yoongi does the same, rolling himself forward and turning on the computer. He clicks on some of the keys, and then sits back as the music starts up

The corner of my memory

A brown piano settled on one side

In the corner of my childhood house

A brown piano settled on one side

Jungkook listens, and he feels himself settling into the music, into the delicate notes and the deep voice. Jungkook has always loved music, ever since his childhood, had always found a comfort in it like nothing else.

When the song comes to an end, Jungkook opens his eyes, blinking in surprise because he hadn’t realized he’d closed them. His eyes feel a little wet, but Yoongi isn’t looking.

“What’d you think?”

Jungkook takes in a deep breath. “It was good hyung. It was really good. I really liked it.”

Yoongi turns to face him then, a small smile gracing his lips. “It’s my story,” he says again. “It’s the only way I can tell it. Maybe it’s the same for you.”

☽

In January, Namjoon and Yoongi pick him up from the orphanage to take him to the Wolf Moon ceremony.

“Isn’t it sweet?” Namjoon asks. “We met here one year ago. You were such a skinny little thing back then.”

“You’ll embarrass him,” Yoongi says dryly.

Another one of Namjoon’s alpha friends has joined them, and he smiles at Jungkook so brightly it nearly hurts to look.

“This is Hoseok,” Namjoon introduces. “He’s performing too.”

“Do you all perform at the ceremony?” Jungkook asks. He’s curious, but he also doesn’t want to be left alone.

“No,” Yoongi says. “You’re stuck with me, pup.”

“Not a pup,” Jungkook huffs, but he’s not that upset by it. Namjoon and Yoongi’s habit of babying him means they always end up paying for his meals, and he doesn’t know how to repay them other then letting them call him ‘pup’. It’s a far better name than the ones he’s been called in the past.

Hoseok is no exception to the babying, either, though his attention makes warmth shoot through Jungkook all the way to his fingertips. Hoseok is like a little ball of sunshine, and he smiles so brightly that even Yoongi perks up.

Their dinner is an amalgamation of food from many different booths, and then Hoseok and Namjoon bid Yoongi and Jungkook goodbye as they head to the tents to prepare for their performances.

“Should we move closer?” Yoongi asks.

“No, here is fine,” Jungkook says, staying near the back of the crowd. He doesn’t like to be in such tight spaces with so little room to escape.

“Okay,” Yoongi agrees. “I’m going to go get something hot to drink, do you want anything?”

Jungkook shakes his head, and then he’s alone, looking out at the crowd congregating near the empty stage as they await the performances. Despite the many years it’s been since he was forced out of his pack, it still sometimes shocks him to see how the City packs interact. How the pups cling to their Pack Alphas, how the omegas aren’t subservient to their alpha mates, how betas are treated as equals too.

The insecurity prickles just beneath his skin, that he will never be able to fit into another pack. It’s probably why Namjoon doesn’t want him. Jungkook is too different from these packs.

“What are you thinking about?” Yoongi returns with a steaming cup of hot chocolate. “You’re face looks more serious than usual.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Nothing.”

“Okay,” Yoongi says, blowing gently on the hot liquid as he brings the cup to his lips.

A few more second pass, and then Jungkook speaks up. “Should I dislike Hoseok-hyung?”

Yoongi chokes on the hot chocolate. “What?”

Jungkook turns to him. He’d noticed the weird tension between the two alphas all through dinner. “You both just seem…odd with each other. Like you’re both Namjoon’s friend, but not friends with each other. I met you first, so I just want to know.”

Yoongi’s eyebrows are furrowed. “Odd?” He repeats. “Odd how?”

Jungkook shrugs uncomfortably. “Maybe I’m just seeing things. Never mind.”

He turns to look back up at the stage, but Yoongi is still looking over at him. “I’ve known Hoseok for a while,” Yoongi says eventually. Jungkook shifts his gaze back to the older alpha. “He was interning at the hospital when I came in for…” he lifts a hand up to the black scars on the right side of his face, and Jungkook’s eyes flicker over the marks. “That’s how we met. He probably just thinks it’s weird to be friends with an old patient. I wasn’t really in the best mindset, back then, so who knows what he thinks about me now.”

Jungkook wants to ask about the scars, but he doesn’t. He can’t. Because there’s no way he’d be willing to show Yoongi his own scars, to talk about what happened to him, so he respects Yoongi’s silence. The most he can do is empathize, because at least Jungkook can hide his scars. Yoongi’s are so visible he wonders how many people see him only for the disfigurement he’s forced to wear on his face.

“Hoseok-hyung is a doctor?” His voice pitches weirdly, without him meaning too, and Yoongi’s gaze sharpens.

“Yes,” he says slowly. “He’s still in training, though.”

“Oh.” Jungkook can’t help the pit of anxiety that churns in his stomach, nor the way his skin crawls. But Hoseok had seemed so kind, so different from Hyosang and the other doctors at the institute. But still, a wariness creeps in.

“Come on,” Yoongi says then. “The performances will start soon.”

☾

Two weeks after the Wolf Moon ceremony, Sungmin makes another move.

They’d been clashing, ever since Jungkook won their first fight. Jungkook didn’t really think Sungmin would stay down for long; he’d lost too much, and he wanted it all back. The difference now is that the other pups look to Jungkook for direction, for protection.

Sungmin is seventeen now, with no pack willing to take him in. Jungkook hears from Jihoon that the Alpha Guard won’t take him either; Sungmin had left the orphanage for a day to go interview with them, but he had returned unsuccessful. Jihoon says it’s because Sungmin can’t follow orders. Hyunsik doesn’t seem to care about Sungmin’s predicament, but Sungmin is getting more and more desperate with each passing day. If he doesn’t find someone to take him in by his eighteenth birthday, then he will be on his own. He hangs around when pack Alphas come to visit, pushing the other pups who get in his way.

Jungkook ignores it, until he can’t anymore.

He stops short in the doorway of their room, surprised at the sound of muffled sobs.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, moving forward and letting the door fall shut behind him. Jihoon is curled up into a ball, on the floor by the bed, back against the wall. His face is hidden in his arms.

“Jihoon? What is it?”

Jihoon had just had a meeting with his potential new pack Alpha, and Jungkook worries for a moment that the older Alpha had rejected Jihoon from joining his pack.

And then Jihoon looks up and Jungkook catches sight of the blood on his face, the partially healed claw marks gouged across his cheek.

Jungkook inhales sharply, moving to kneel in front of the younger alpha. “Who the fuck did this to you? The Pack Alpha…?”

Jihoon shakes his head. “It was Sungmin.”

Jungkook clenches his jaw so hard his teeth creak. He can feel his wolf snapping inside, clawing to be let out. Sungmin has touched something of his.

He stands abruptly, and Jihoon scrambles to his feet after him. “Hyung what – what are you…”

Jungkook stalks out of the room, and Jihoon quickly follows. “Hyung, really just leave it!”

He is still crying, and Jungkook ignores his protesting.

He spots Sungmin coming up the top of the staircase and calls out to him. “Hey, asshole!”

The older alpha snaps his gaze over, anger already flaring in his eyes. “What did you just call me?”

“I called you an asshole,” Jungkook fires back. “You think it’s okay to go around hurting people who are weaker than you? You’re a fucking coward.”

Sungmin growls, and Jungkook almost laughs at how unthreatening it is. “Take it back.”

“No,” Jungkook says. “I won’t. You’re too scared to fight me, because you know you’ll lose. You know that I’m a much stronger alpha. It’s obvious, isn’t it? Because no pack will take you, and even the Alpha Guard knows that you’re completely useless. So you go after alphas who are smaller than you instead of fighting me. You’re a fucking coward, and I’ll never think of you as anything else.”

Sungmin roars in anger, charging at Jungkook and swinging his arm, and Jihoon screams in fright.

Jungkook neatly sidesteps him, lifts his hands, and shoves.

Sungmin teeters on the edge of the staircase for a brief moment, caught in stillness, and then he’s falling. He crashes down the steps with an explosion of noise, pained gasps punched out of his chest as he is knocked into each step, until he hits the bottom. For a moment, it’s silent.

“Is he…is he dead?” Jihoon whispers. Jungkook shrugs.

From below, Sungmin moans in agony, and Jungkook hops down the steps until he’s crouching beside Sungmin’s prone form. He reaches a hand out to press down on Sungmin’s head, keeping him pinned to the hardwood floor. “Don’t fucking touch Jihoon, or anyone else ever again, got it?”

Sungmin moans again.

Jungkook presses down hard. “I said, fucking got it?”

“Yes!” Sungmin wheezes.

“Good.”

He releases Sungmin and turns back to Jihoon, scaling the staircase and leading the younger alpha back to their room. Jihoon watches him, wide-eyed, but unafraid. Or at least, Jungkook hopes he is.

“Aren’t we going to tell Hyunsik?”

“No,” Jungkook says. “Sungmin can tell Hyunsik if he wants, just like all the other alpha pups who’ve had to do the same.”

Jihoon bites his lip but nods in agreement. When Hyunsik eventually makes his way around, unconcernedly asking if anyone knows what happened to Sungmin, they both shake their heads.

☽

Winter warms into spring, and the three older alphas continue to come by to take Jungkook out from the orphanage. Sometimes they come together, sometimes they come in pairs, and sometimes they come on their own.

The first time Hoseok comes to see him alone, Jungkook feels so jittery in his presence that he almost refuses to go with him. He feels more cautious with Hoseok than he does with Namjoon or Yoongi, because Hoseok is a doctor, because he can’t trust him.

Hoseok could take him back to the institute, and Jungkook doesn’t know if he’d get a chance to escape again.

But then, reality catches up to him. Hoseok can’t be all bad, not if he’s friends with Namjoon and Yoongi, not if he’d helped Yoongi before.

These two sides war with each other, and it leaves him exhausted. He knows Hoseok can tell, because the older alpha takes one look at him, and suggests that they go to a movie.

Jungkook agrees, because he can’t see a reason not to, and because at least then he won’t have to talk.

Hoseok buys their tickets, for some movie that Jungkook doesn’t know, and then orders them popcorn and Sprite, and then they settle in as the lights dim in the theatre.

The movie is some sad love story between an alpha and an omega, and Jungkook’s more interested in the popcorn than the actual plot. But then he hears sniffling from beside him, and glances over in surprise to see Hoseok with tears streaming down his face.

Jungkook looks between the older alpha and the movie screen in disbelief. It was just a movie! And the story wasn’t even real. But seeing Hoseok’s tears, seeing him cry for something like this, it settles something small but meaningful inside Jungkook. Hoseok was so open with his emotions that it made it a little bit easier to trust him.

“I’m sorry,” Hoseok apologizes, when the movie’s over and lights come back on. Jungkook had ended up eating most of the popcorn because Hoseok had cried through the rest of the movie. Even now, he’s wiping his tears with a napkin.

“It’s fine, hyung,” Jungkook says. “We didn’t have to see this one if you were going to cry, though.”

“No, no,” Hoseok says. “I wanted to see it.” He stands then, collecting his things and they leave the theatre together. “Do you want to get dinner?”

“Okay,” Jungkook agrees. They end up in some hole-in-the-wall restaurant, because Hoseok knows the owner and he can get them a discount. The food’s amazing, though.

They eat their fill, and then Hoseok says, “I come here a lot, since it’s right down the street from the hospital I work at.”

And Jungkook feels that anxiety beneath his skin again, prickling everywhere, as he slowly lowers his spoon. “Oh yeah?”

“Yep,” Hoseok says. “You know I’m a doctor, right Jungkookie?”

Jungkook blinks. “…yes.”

“And that bothers you,” Hoseok says frankly, but his eyes are soft.

Jungkook swallows heavily. His palms feel a little sweaty. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” Hoseok disagrees. “I’d like to talk about it, because Namjoon and Yoongi care about you, because I care about you, and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable when you’re with us.”

Jungkook exhales. He doesn’t know what to say.

“What is it about doctors that makes you uncomfortable?”

Jungkook thinks about it. About what to say. The thing is, Hoseok is so gentle, and his scent is so comforting, that Jungkook feels a little too trusting. He almost wants to say more than he should.

“It’s nothing, hyung,” Jungkook says eventually. It’s not something he ever wants to think about again. “I promise.”

☾

The day everything shatters starts with a breakfast of pancakes on a warm June morning.

Namjoon had texted him that he was coming by, so Jungkook bids Jihoon goodbye and goes to join the older alpha for the day.

By the time he returns to the Alpha Centre, it is late afternoon. Most of the pups are outside, enjoying the weather, and Jungkook goes out to join them. He wants to find Jihoon, because he knows the smaller alpha had another meeting with his Pack Alpha today to finalize everything. Jihoon would be leaving the orphanage within the week to go live with his new pack.

In the backyard, the pups are scattered around, but he can’t see Jihoon.

“Have you seen Jihoon?” He asks a few of the pups, and they point over to the base of a tree, where the small alpha is reading a book.

And in that moment, Jungkook watches as Sungmin comes round the back of the tree and shoves Jihoon to the ground. The book falls to the grass, and then Sungmin is screaming at Jihoon, both hands wrapped around the smaller alpha’s throat.

Jungkook moves immediately, the screams of the other alpha pups in the yard like white noise in his ears.

“You fucking think you deserve to get out of here? To join a pack? I deserve it more than you!”

Sungmin sound unhinged, deranged, as he chokes the smaller alpha. Jihoon is grasping at his hands, desperate for release from the chokehold. His face is becomes pale from lack of oxygen as he struggles for breath.

Jungkook is running, the fear consuming him so completely that he swears his heart stops. But he’s too far.

Sungmin reaches for the knife he must have stolen from the kitchen, and there is a moment of utter silence, before he plunges it downwards and into Jihoon’s chest.

The pain, the shock, is so visceral that Jungkook almost falls to his knees.

The screaming pups behind him are enough to draw Hyunsik out of the house, and all Jungkook can do is stare uncomprehendingly at the blood that is staining the grass a deep red.

“What the fuck is going on?!” Hyunsik yells, but Jungkook isn’t listening.

He is a hunter, and he has a kill to make.

He sprints at Sungmin, uncaring of the knife that’s still in the alpha’s hand. He reaches the alpha and tackles him to the ground. The knife goes flying, and then Jungkook’s punching at Sungmin’s face, clawing at his chest, the wolf inside of him howling at Jungkook to kill the alpha that had ended the life of his friend.

“Jungkook, stop!”

He doesn’t stop. He hasn’t made the kill. He should have killed Sungmin a long time ago, because he should always attack first, no matter what.

There are hands grasping at him, unknown alphas that have come up from the Alpha Centre. They pull him off of Sungmin, and then pin him down face first to the grass because he tries to turn and attack them too. He can feel their knees pressing into his back and the tight grip they have on his arms.

“Fuck,” Hyunsik says. Jungkook watches through blurry eyes as he checks to see whether Jihoon is still alive. “Fuck!”

A few of the alphas are checking on Sungmin, and Jungkook growls again when he sees the alpha’s bloodied, smashed face, renewing his struggle to escape the tight hold of the alphas that are pinning him down because Sungmin is still alive. Hyunsik comes over.

“I can’t deal with this too,” he says. “Bring him back to the house and call Alpha Namjoon to come get him. He can’t stay here.”

Jungkook’s dragged back to the house, and by the time they lock him into one of the rooms, Jungkook feels like his world has completely collapsed on itself. His legs tremble, like they can’t support his weight, and he crawls into a corner, pulling his legs to his chest and tucking his face into his knees.

He doesn’t know how long he’s alone in the room, but suddenly he can hear the sound of raised voices in the hallway. He doesn’t look up at the door creaking open, but he’s relief washes over him at Namjoon’s scent suddenly filling the room.

Two sets of footsteps come closer, and then Namjoon is crouching down in front of him. “Jungkook?”

But he can’t answer. He thinks if he opens his mouth he might vomit all over the floor. Or maybe he’ll scream. He can’t be sure, but all he can see is Sungmin brining that knife down into Jihoon’s chest over and over and over again

“Jungkook? Jungkook, it’s okay, it’s going to be okay now.”

He feels like he can’t breathe, like there’s a weight on his chest pushing him down, down, down, drowning him below the surface of a deep, deep sadness.

“Shit.” Even Namjoon’s voice sounds funny, like it’s coming from a million miles away. “He’s having a panic attack.”

And suddenly, Namjoon’s scent surrounds him completely, blocking out every other thing, every other person. It’s just Namjoon and Jungkook in this tiny corner of the room, and nothing else matters.

“Focus on my breathing, Jungkook.” He tries, he really does. “That’s it, just like that. Do it with me. We’ll stay here as long as you like.”

He follows the deep inhales and exhales, slowly, until it feels like the weight is receding from his chest. He looks up, then, straight into Namjoon’s topaz eyes. He almost whines for help, he almost pushes himself into Namjoon’s chest for comfort. He manages to hold himself back.

“Hyung?” He asks weakly. Just beyond Namjoon is Yoongi, standing guard over them both.

Namjoon sucks in a sharp breath. “Yoongi-hyung, I can’t-” He cuts himself off. “Can you-?”

“On it,” Yoongi says, and then he leaves the room. Jungkook’s attention is drawn back to Namjoon when the older alpha taps on his leg.

“You’re coming home with us, Jungkook. You not coming back here.”

“I’m not?” Jungkook asks.

“No, never,” Namjoon says. There’s something tight, in the way his voice sound, in the set of his shoulders, in the way he clenches his jaw. His scent is deep, still surrounding Jungkook, almost…protective, warm, vigilant.

But Jungkook is too exhausted to make any sense of it.

He goes to Namjoon’s house for the first time. Hoseok meets them there, after they leave the orphanage with Yoongi, who’d only left them to collect Jungkook’s things from his room.

Jungkook falls asleep in the spare room, after Hoseok takes him to the bathroom and washes the dried blood from his hands.

“I’m so sorry,” Hoseok says.

Jungkook doesn’t say a word; he has no idea what to say.

He wakes up after an hour of sleep, because he can’t stop dreaming about Jihoon, about the knife, and when he pokes his head out into the hallway, he can hear Namjoon’s voice coming from the kitchen.

He walks down the stairs slowly, until he reaches the bottom and steps into the kitchen.

The three alphas are seated around the table, beers bottles scattered around, and Namjoon looks distraught. He’s leaning forward, his head held in his hands.

“I didn’t know,” he’s groaning. “I never fucking asked him about it, about what that orphanage was like. I made him live through that, and I never fucking asked.”

Yoongi opens his mouth, as if to respond, but then they all notice Jungkook standing in the doorway.

“I just…I couldn’t sleep,” Jungkook says, voice smaller than he means for it to be. He feels too shaken to his core, too vulnerable.

Namjoon seems to curl into himself even more, a sob catching in his throat, and then Hoseok stands up and draws Jungkook out of the room, taking him back upstairs.

“Is Namjoon-hyung mad at me?”

Hoseok shakes his head. “No…no, he’s not mad at you. He just wishes that he had been more responsible with you. Because of what happened. Because of what the orphanage was really like for you.”

“But he couldn’t have known,” Jungkook says. “I never told him.”

“I know,” Hoseok agrees. “But you are a pup, and Namjoon is an adult. All of us are adults. We should have been there for you, but we weren’t. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Jungkook stares up at him, furrowing his eyebrows. “Why are you sorry?” He still doesn’t understand. “I didn’t expect any of you to help me.”

It’s the truth, and he thinks it should comfort Hoseok to know that he hadn’t hoped for their help.

Hoseok’s breath catches, faintly, almost like he might cry. Jungkook tilts his head in confusion.

He doesn’t understand why Hoseok looks so heartbroken.

☽

Retrograde (adj.) – moving backward; retiring or retreating; exhibiting degeneration or deterioration

Chapter Text

For me you're only a little boy just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you have no need of me, either. For you I'm only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, we'll need each other. You'll be the only boy in the world for me. I'll be the only fox in the world for you....

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, ‘Le Petit Prince’

☾

The room is silent as Jungkook shuts off the audio recording, pushing the microphone away from his face. With a few taps of the keyboard, the audio file is saved, and then he starts the process of uploading it to the Genius Lab website. By now, a year into his podcast’s existence, the process of recording and uploading is a routine so ingrained he could probably do it in his sleep.

As he waits on the computer’s slow upload of his podcast, he stretches in his chair, and then lifts himself off the seat to go open the door. The room is soundproofed to all external noise, and once he opens the door, his ears adjust to the faint creaking of the wooden floorboards and the drumming of the rain on the windows. It’s been especially rainy, recently, and Jungkook is already apprehensive of his commute home. He had forgotten his umbrella at Yoongi’s place.

He hadn’t meant to come to the studio so late, but he didn’t like to record during the day, when so many people moved in and out of the building. It put him on edge, and then he ended up deleting every recording, because he hated the way that they turned out. Here, now, alone, he feels like he has all the time in the world to get it right.

“…welcome back to Golden Closet on this rainy Wednesday night. For those of you who are new, who stumbled across this podcast wondering why you should continue to listen, I can’t really give you a good answer. This is a place, my place, to talk about my life. Sometimes I sing too; it depends on my mood. I don’t know if this podcast is any good, but Suga-hyung hasn’t cut me off yet, so I must be doing something right.”

“I was thinking a lot about beginnings, today. Beginnings and endings. Alphas and omegas. A lot of cultures use alpha to signify beginnings, and omega to signify endings. Alpha is the start, and omega is the end. It means that between alphas and omegas, the entire world is contained.

“But I don’t mean that they are opposites, or that they represent two ends of a spectrum. We so often like to think of this world as a duality; good and evil, light and dark, strong and weak. But this is a lie. No duality exists, because we only live in a shade of grey. Dualities can’t exist because life isn’t so simple as right and wrong. Even beginnings aren’t simple. Think about a beginning in your life. Maybe you’re thinking about the birth of a child. Is that truly a beginning? Or did something happen before? And then, did something happen before that? And before that? Are there true beginnings, and are there true endings?

“When we think about beginnings, we’re only picking out one moment from a network of links. Something always comes before that beginning, and we can keep tracing backwards until we’ve forgotten all about the beginning we started with. We’re lost in a web of connections. Endings aren’t any different. In fact, I think endings are worse. Endings are so ambiguous because we don’t know that they’re happening until we look back at our lives and see the ending for what it was. We only live in the moment, but we obsess over beginnings and endings because it makes sense to order our lives in this way. But something always comes before, and something always comes after.

“So what do beginnings and endings have to do with our ranks? Alphas and omegas are the beginnings and the endings. But they are also the endings and the beginnings. You can’t have one without the other. We imagine that there are beginnings and endings because it comforts use to have this structure. It comforts me too. But it also makes it difficult to talk about my story, my beginning. Where do I start? Because something always came before my beginning. Beginnings and endings are just arbitrary markers that I can choose so that I can spin a story however I like.

“What beginning should I talk about today? Maybe the beginning I pick is the story of when I was fifteen, the first time I met RM-hyung. The fifteen-year-old me who had nothing. The world was so big, and I was so small. The wholly empty me who had no scent of his own…”

☽

Rain lashes at the windows, trickling down the glass panes that refract the blurry streetlights into a burnt yellow glow. Hoseok thinks the world must be crying, mourning the loss of one of its children. Perhaps it is shedding the tears that Jungkook seems incapable of producing.

The young alpha looks impossibly tiny in the bare furnishings of Namjoon’s guest room. For the first time since Hoseok’s met him, Jungkook looks his age. He is only sixteen, but sometimes that was hard to remember because he acted so mature. Because he seemed so self-sufficient and self-reliant. Because he didn’t seem to need anybody.

Now Hoseok knows it is all a lie. He wishes he could go back, he wishes he could have taken a peek behind Jungkook’s towering defences before those same defences were shattered into pieces by the hard reality of life and death. He can tell Jungkook is scrambling to find the surface, to get right side up, to get back to any semblance of normal. The shock in Jungkook’s eyes has not faded, and nor has he seemed to come to grips with Jihoon’s death.

“Go back to sleep,” Hoseok says. He sits on the edge of the bed, and Jungkook’s golden eyes track his movements as he lifts a hand to brush the hair out of Jungkook’s face. “Go to sleep, and we can deal with everything in the morning. Don’t think about it right now.”

But even Hoseok can’t believe the words he’s saying. How do you comfort someone who’s seen death like Jungkook has? What words exist that could possibly right something so wrong?

Jungkook rolls over, putting his back to Hoseok. He curls up into a ball, becoming so small, hugging his knees to his chest and effectively shutting the older alpha and the rest of the world out. Hoseok reaches a hand out again, and then draws it back.

He only leaves when he’s sure Jungkook has fallen asleep, his breath becoming slower and deeper. He closes the door behind him quietly, and heads back downstairs.

Namjoon and Yoongi have migrated from the kitchen to the living room, spread out across the couches. Yoongi is as pale as moonlight, and far angrier than Hoseok’s ever seen him before. Hoseok knows he’s mad, because Yoongi is sitting in complete stillness; the only movement is the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathes. It is nothing compared to the utterly destroyed look on Namjoon’s face.

Hoseok has known Namjoon and Yoongi for years. It feels almost worse, seeing the depths of Namjoon’s misery, because Hoseok had been there to see Yoongi completely break apart when he was eighteen, but he’s also seen Yoongi come back from that place. He’s never seen Namjoon like this.

Namjoon is curled in on himself, as if the pain of his sorrow is too heavy. He blames himself, Hoseok knows, despite how young he is. Namjoon is only nineteen, but his heart had always been too big. When he first found Jungkook a year and a half ago, he couldn’t let the pup go. Not for anything.

“Is he asleep?” Namjoon’s voice is muffled in his hands, exhausted.

“Yes,” Hoseok tells them. “He is. Hopefully he’ll stay down longer this time.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon says. “If he doesn’t wake up from nightmares again. From what happened to him.” He breathes heavily through his nose. “I should have been there to protect him from it.”

“Namjoon,” Hoseok says softly. He sits on the couch next to the younger alpha, reaching up to slide a hand onto his upper back. Namjoon is trembling beneath Hoseok’s warm palm. “Joon-ah. It’s not your fault. You need to stop blaming yourself.”

“I never should have brought him to that orphanage,” Namjoon says. He finally lifts his head up, and Hoseok’s heart clenches at the tear drops hanging precariously from his eyelashes, the blotchy red skin, the trembling lower lip. “I should have taken him home with me.”

“You know that you couldn’t do that,” Hoseok reminds him. “You know that it wasn’t possible.” Hoseok shifts his gaze over to Yoongi’s still and silent form. The other alpha is staring off into the distance, but he snaps back to the present when Hoseok nudges him with his foot. “Hyung, tell Namjoonie.”

Yoongi slowly nods. “You couldn’t have brought Jungkook home with you,” Yoongi says. His voice is deep and gravely, close to a growl. Hoseok shivers. “Your father wouldn’t have allowed you to bring a pup like Jungkook into your pack. He would’ve killed Jungkook on sight. You know what those golden eyes mean.”

Namjoon takes in a shuddering breath. “I know.” He leans back into the couch then, and Hoseok drops his arm, feeling useless. He wishes he knew how to make Namjoon feel better, he wishes there was a way to cure sadness like this. His fingers itch with the desire to heal; and it breaks his heart that he can’t do anything except sit on the couch in the middle of the night and say words that feel too inadequate to make up for what had happened.

“What are you going to do now?” Yoongi asks. Hoseok shoots him a glare, but Yoongi disregards it – he’s always been like this; words nothing less than cutting, meant to hurt. He’s never reigned it in.

But still, it seems to settle something in Namjoon, and the younger alpha sighs deeply. “He can stay here,” Namjoon decides. “At least for the summer. After that, we need a plan that’s more long term.”

Before Namjoon can continue, a harsh knock on the door cuts through the house. For a moment, they all fall silent, and Hoseok scents the air, but he can’t pick up anything distinct.

Namjoon can, though, because his nose is better, and suddenly his shoulders are straightening, and his topaz eyes are glowing. He changes before their eyes; he becomes an alpha.

“Hyung,” he says, addressing Yoongi. “Make sure Jungkook’s asleep. Don’t let him come down.”

Yoongi nods, and takes off upstairs. Only when he’s out of sight does Namjoon move over to the entrance, pulling the front door open.

Two members of the Alpha Guard stand on the front porch, damp from the rain. It does not matter that it is midnight, they look fresh and alert, eyes gleaming and cold.

“Can I help you?” Namjoon asks. Gone is the trembling voice and cowering shoulders desperate for comfort – Namjoon stands tall and broad in the doorway, a true Alpha in every sense of the word. Hoseok stands just behind him, partially hidden in the shadows of the house, watching the two alphas standing out on the porch.

“I’m Dowon,” the Guard standing in front says. He motions to the Guard behind him. “This is Minjun. We have a few questions for the pup. Can we come in?”

Both Guards move as if the enter the house, and Namjoon’s hand curls so tightly around the door that the wood creaks. The Guards both stop short at the noise.

“No,” Namjoon says, too calmly to be anything less than completely threatening. “The pup is sleeping, finally, after everything that’s happened. So no, you’re not coming in, and no you’re not asking him any fucking questions.”

Dowon seems a little lost for words, but Minjun looks irritated. “We’re in the middle of an investigation, and you’re obstructing an active case,” Minjun says. “Let us in, and get the pup down here now.”

“No,” Namjoon says again. His voice is descending into his chest now, a deep growl vibrating with each word. “Jungkook is mine. You’ll have to kill me to get to him.”

Oh, Hoseok thinks. He’d wondered at how Namjoon felt, but now he knows. It was one thing to take Jungkook under his wing while the pup had a facsimile of a home at the orphanage. But this is a public claiming of the young alpha. Perhaps Namjoon had always meant to keep Jungkook by his side, in his pack. And then Hoseok understands why Namjoon sent Yoongi upstairs – if the guards somehow managed to get passed them, Yoongi would never let them get to Jungkook. The older alpha had always been the deadliest of their group.

Namjoon’s clear protection of Jungkook causes both Alpha Guards to pause. Now Minjun looks uncertain too.

“Look,” Dowon says. “We don’t mean to intrude. We just think it would be better for everybody involved if we could wrap this up as soon as we can. The pup – Jungkook – has valuable information about the case.”

Namjoon barks out a harsh laugh. “Oh fuck off,” he sneers. “I know exactly why you’re here. You’re going to take him into custody for what he did to that other pup.”

Hoseok blinks in surprise. “Can they do that?” He pipes up. Namjoon doesn’t turn to face him, but Minjun’s eyes flicker over Namjoon’s shoulder to look at Hoseok.

“Yes,” Namjoon says between gritted teeth. He’s tight, tense, and Hoseok moves closer if only to reign in Namjoon’s baser instincts a little bit, remind him that Hoseok is there for him. “They want to clean up this mess the easiest way they can – by eliminating every piece.”

“We’re here for Jungkook’s own good,” Minjun says. “The pup needs an evaluation, after what he went through. You should have seen what he did to that other pup. It was barbaric.”

Hoseok reaches out to grip the back of Namjoon’s shirt before the other alpha does something stupid. He can see the tense lines of Namjoon’s back. He knows Namjoon is close to lunging at the Alpha Guards, to drive them back from his house and away from Jungkook.

“I’m a doctor,” Hoseok says. He moves to stand next to Namjoon. “More specifically, I’m Jungkook’s doctor. He doesn’t need an evaluation, he needs his sleep. What he did wasn’t barbaric, but you wouldn’t understand. You don’t want to understand him. I don’t care what orders you were given, or what authority you think you have – you’re not coming near Jungkook. Stop pushing it.” He shifts his gaze between the two Guards. “Haven’t you realized who you’ve been talking to?”

Dowon and Minjun look very uneasy now, looking back at Namjoon. The taller alpha is almost vibrating in rage. His topaz eyes are glowing, and Hoseok can see the beginnings of his sharp canines dropping down in his mouth.

“We…we didn’t mean to offend you,” Dowon murmurs. He takes a few steps back now, lowering his gaze.

Namjoon snarls. “Get the fuck off my property. And stay the fuck away from Jungkook.”

And then he slams the door shut.

The house is plunged into silence again, broken only by the harsh sound of Namjoon’s ragged breath.

“Hey,” Hoseok says, much softer now. “Namjoonie, it’s okay. Jungkook’s not going anywhere. He’s upstairs, he’s safe.”

“Fuck,” Namjoon whispers. He’s agitated, running his hands through his hair. “I can’t – I need to make sure.”

Namjoon takes the stairs two at a time, and by the time Hoseok joins Yoongi at the doorway of Jungkook’s room, Namjoon is inside, breathing more steadily now that he’s sure Jungkook is okay, that Jungkook is safe.

“What the fuck happened down there?”

Yoongi leans in to murmur into Hoseok’s ear, and Hoseok feels goosebumps break out across his skin.

“Two Guards stopped by to take Jungkook into their custody,” Hoseok tells him. “Namjoon didn’t let them, obviously.”

Yoongi clenches his jaw. “Let them try,” is all he says.

Namjoon finally leaves Jungkook to sleep, and then heads back downstairs. Hoseok doubts any of them are going to get any sleep tonight. He feels too wired to sleep, too desperate to stay vigilant as Jungkook slumbers on.

“My Appa’s going to find out about Jungkook,” Namjoon says. “It’s inevitable. He can’t stay here forever.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” Hoseok tells him. “Right now, he needs us. This is the best place for him. Then we can start thinking about…where he can go from here.”

“He’s not going to another pack,” Namjoon says decisively. “There’s no fucking way.”

“Your Abeoji will never accept him,” Yoongi reminds him.

“Yeah, well fuck him,” Namjoon says. “One day I’ll be Pack Alpha, and there’s nothing he can do about it.”

Hoseok’s eyes widen, and he exchanges a look of shock with Yoongi.

“I thought…I thought you didn’t want that,” Hoseok murmurs. “You said that you didn’t.”

“Yeah, well fuck what I said,” Namjoon laughs humourlessly. “Jungkook needs me. I won’t let him down again.”

☾

In the months that pass after Jungkook leaves the orphanage, he goes completely silent.

It’s a gradual process, a slow but steady retreat into himself. His voice has never mattered, so why bother to use it at all?

There is such a big sadness inside him, that Jungkook thinks if he opens his mouth to talk, that sadness would spill everywhere, get all over everything. His silence is the only way to contain that sadness inside, though he can feel its desperation to seep out of him. He doesn’t know what to do with the sadness, where to put it other than to keep it tightly held within himself.

Of his three hyungs, Namjoon takes his silence the worst, but then, he’d also taken what had happened at the orphanage much harder than Jungkook had anticipated. When Jungkook is still talking, Namjoon sits him down at the kitchen table one day, with Hoseok sitting at the island working on his laptop and Yoongi making himself an iced coffee.

“Hyunsik has been removed as director of the orphanage,” Namjoon tells him. “He’s been taken into custody by the Alpha Guard, to await his trial in front of the Head Alpha.”

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows, but doesn’t say anything as Namjoon continues.

“Mainly, he’s been charged with neglect, because what he did, or didn’t do, lead to Jihoon’s death.”

Jungkook flinches; it is still too raw. He still wakes up from nightmares about the gleaming knife, the red blood. Jungkook is always too far away to save him.

Yoongi swirls the coffee and the milk around in his cup, and the ice clinks against his metal straw. The sound is like a little bell, pulling Jungkook out of his thoughts. “Good fucking riddance. You should hear some of the stories coming out now that he’s been arrested. Wolves who grew up under him in that orphanage are all lining up to testify in front of the Head Alpha.”

“I can’t believe how long this was kept secret,” Hoseok chimes in. He closes his laptop, and then moves to sit at the kitchen table too, right beside Jungkook. He smells like vanilla and Jungkook lets himself relax. Hoseok is calming, for an alpha, and surprisingly vulnerable. He speaks so softly to Jungkook, and he touches Jungkook very gently too. “No one wants to believe that alpha pups could face such abuse. It’s hard to admit it, that alphas can be victims too.”

Yoongi scoffs. “The alpha-omega roles can go fuck itself.”

“Anyway,” Namjoon cuts in, redirecting the conversation. “The trial is going to be in a month. Do you want to go?”

Jungkook thinks about it. Then he nods his head once, decisively.

“Okay,” Namjoon says. “Okay.” He pauses for a moment, and then continues. “You should know that the Alpha Guard has asked if you will testify.”

Jungkook shakes his head so fast he’s dizzy from the force of it. There’s no way, no way, he’d get up in front of all those people and talk about what happened to him, what happened to Jihoon. It’s too personal and Jungkook might not survive it.

“Okay,” Namjoon says again, far more gently this time. His scent is thicker too, filling up the space between them, and Jungkook’s heart slows from its race. “You won’t have to. No one’s going to force you to talk about it. Like Yoongi-hyung said, they have more than enough from all the wolves coming forward to testify. Hyunsik won’t get away with what he’s done.”

“Thank fuck,” Yoongi says. His face seems paler, his black scars more pronounced than usual. “If they tried to play this off as just typical alpha bullshit, I was ready to throw hands.”

Namjoon and Hoseok seem to be in agreement, but Jungkook doesn’t really understand what Yoongi means. He thinks, again, at how different he is from his hyungs, from other alphas. He feels like something is missing, inside him; he feels like he’s always coming up on the short side of normal. No wonder he’s such a fucking mess. It reminds him of the first week he spent holed up in Namjoon’s guest room, his days spent staring blankly out of the window to watch the people pass by below, their lives inexplicably still moving forward despite Jungkook’s world seemingly ending. And then his nights passed by in a series of silent nightmares, until Jungkook decided it was easier to not sleep at all.

In those days, Namjoon had asked him to talk about what the orphanage was like, which felt like a trick question because Jungkook couldn’t figure out what Namjoon wanted to hear. The older alpha sat on the desk chair while Jungkook sat on the bed, staring out the window and watching his breath fog up the glass. Namjoon kept asking and asking, and Jungkook was so tired of it all that he eventually caved, talking about Hyunsik and Jihoon and Sungmin. Namjoon had been silent the whole time, and when he turned to look, he saw the look of deep alarm on Namjoon’s face. So Jungkook took those words back into himself, because he’d told Namjoon, and that was hard enough.

He didn’t understand Namjoon’s dismay when he had told the older alpha about what had happened to him at the orphanage, and he doesn’t understand it now either.

“Will Hyunsik get in trouble?” His voice is rough, raspy from disuse. He clears his throat, eyes darting between his three hyungs.

“Yes,” Namjoon tells him. “Hyunsik is in a lot of trouble. He’s facing the consequences of what he did.”

“But…he didn’t do anything wrong,” Jungkook says. “What happened with Jihoon…that was my fault.”

Namjoon doesn’t seem to know what to say to this. His jaw drops open, but no words come out.

But Hoseok’s vanilla scent is as calm as ever, and he tilts his head in question. “Why do you say that?”

Jungkook turns to him, perplexed. “Jihoon was under my protection, and Sungmin knew that. I knew that Sungmin knew that. He’d already attacked him once before.”

“What did Hyunsik do when Jihoon was attacked the first time?” Hoseok asks him.

“Nothing,” Jungkook says. He tries his best to explain, to make his hyungs understand. “I dealt with it. We weren’t supposed to bother Hyunsik with stuff like that. Besides, he was teaching us how to be good alphas.”

“What’s a good alpha?” Yoongi asks. His voice cuts into their conversation, and now Jungkook feels a little nauseous, a little threatened. All three of his hyungs are looking at him, so sad, and he dislikes the attention. He wants them to look away. He feels too vulnerable, like they can see right through him.

So he doesn’t answer. His gaze moves to his clenched fists in his lap, studiously blocking everything else out.

“Jungkook,” Hoseok’s voice is firm, and his gaze is serious. He shifts in his seat, as if to move closer, but he stops when Jungkook tenses. “What happened to Jihoon wasn’t your fault. I need you to understand that.”

Jungkook shakes his head. Is he just supposed to accept that, believe that?

“At the orphanage,” Hoseok starts. “Hyunsik encouraged the alpha pups to conform to a…hierarchy. He made you guys fight each other because he was forcing his own ideals and beliefs onto the pups who passed through his care. Jungkook, I need you to understand that what he did wasn’t okay. The orphanage was set up to be a place for pups to grow and to thrive, and to make connections with packs. Can you honestly tell me that was what you experienced?”

Jungkook shakes his head again.

“Do you understand why Hyunsik is at fault?”

Jungkook chews on his bottom lip. “You’re saying he was responsible for us.”

“Yes,” Hoseok nods. “There were pups as young as six years old living at the orphanage. The environment Hyunsik created, all of the stories coming out now, it’s wrong, it’s sick. And that’s on Hyunsik. He was the one who did that to all of you. You’re blaming yourself for what happened to Jihoon without considering who put you into that position in the first place.”

What Hoseok’s saying makes sense, but still, it’s hard for Jungkook to accept it. To believe that something might not be his fault. It feels too uncertain to be real, that something horrible has happened and Jungkook has no blame. It’s never happened before, so he has a hard time believing it now.

In the month leading up to Hyunsik’s trial, only three notable things happen amongst the sleepless haze that consumes Jungkook’s days.

One, Sungmin is found dead in his room at the orphanage. Yoongi asks if it was suicide, if Sungmin knew he would have to face the Head Alpha for what he did to Jihoon, but Hoseok shakes his head. No, he says, it doesn’t look like it. Actually, it kind of looks like…the other pups did it. All of them and none of them. It’s impossible to tell who was responsible, and none of the pups are talking.

Two, Jungkook is made to shift into his wolf form in front of his hyungs. They’re all out in Namjoon’s backyard, the sweet-smelling summer breeze rustling the tree leaves, and Jungkook’s eyes dart between his hyungs as they wait for him to shift.

It’s unhealthy to go so long without shifting, Hoseok says. His eyes are kind, and the tone of his voice is soft. Jungkook’s mouth is dry because he is so nervous. He’s tried to put this off for days.

There’s something wrong with my wolf, he finally admits, because he can’t let them see him without a warning. He doesn’t want to show them, but at the same time, he trusts them, at least somewhat. It feels almost cathartic, to show his hyungs the monstrosity of his wolf form. He thinks his hyungs will be repulsed by his wolf, but he also can’t help but hope they’ll accept him anyway.

It’s okay to show us, Hoseok tells him. We want to know your wolf too. So Jungkook shows them. And then he shifts back into his human form and lets Hoseok pull him into a hug, because none of his hyungs had left him. They’d been surprised, sure, but they’d only come closer. Hoseok smells like vanilla, and Jungkook buries his nose into the scent. He doesn’t hug Hoseok back, his arms hanging loose at his sides, but he lets Hoseok’s arms wrap tight around him.

Third, and last, Jungkook becomes so exhausted from his insomnia, that he falls down the stairs of Namjoon’s house and nearly breaks his leg. After Namjoon carries him to the couch and Hoseok takes a look at his injured foot, all three of his hyungs decide this can’t go on any longer.

Yoongi drags him out of the house the very next day, all the way to Genius Lab, and makes him sit on the couch in his recording studio.

“You don’t have to do anything,” Yoongi tells him. “You don’t even have to talk. But you need to get out of that house and remember there’s a whole world out here.”

And then Yoongi slips his headphones on and gets to work. Jungkook is tense, back ramrod straight as he sits on the grey couch. But Yoongi doesn’t turn back to look at him, and Jungkook slowly sinks back into soft cushions. He doesn’t do much for the first few days, but he does nap on the couch. With Yoongi in the room, his comforting scent of warm coffee never leaving their shared space, Jungkook can sleep a little easier. And when the nightmares do come, when his heartbeat is painful and straining under the weight of his fear, all he has to do is open his eyes to look at his Yoongi-hyung’s back as he works on his songs, and suddenly life seems a little bit easier, a little bit more manageable.

Eventually, Jungkook’s apathy shifts into reluctant curiosity. He remembers the first time he came here, and listened to Yoongi’s music, and how he felt. He wants to feel that again; he’s desperate to feel something besides the guilt and the pain of his life.

“Do you want to learn?” Yoongi asks, when Jungkook hovers just behind him at the piano.

He gives Yoongi one short nod, and then his days are filled with sheet music and scales and learning a language he doesn’t have to speak. He spends hours at the piano, so many that Yoongi eventually sets aside a practice room for him. The room fills itself, slowly but steadily, with Jungkook’s things – extra sweaters and water bottles, stacks of sheet music, and even a guitar, when Jungkook decides he wants to learn how to play that too.

He starts to sleep better at night. He dreams only of music, of melodies that carry him forward. He has no where to go but forward, with his music. He likes that.

But still, he does not speak.

Hyunsik’s trial is long, but only because of the testimonies of all the wolves who’ve come forward. Jungkook sits high up in the court room with his hyungs, watching Hyunsik’s cowering form as the Head Alpha hears his plea.

“He’ll be given the death penalty,” Namjoon tells them, when they’re all back at his house that night.

“How do you know?” Hoseok asks.

“He hurt too many pups,” Namjoon explains. “That can’t be forgiven. The Head Alpha won’t forgive that. He doesn’t want something like this happening ever again, so he needs to set an example.”

And then Hyunsik too, is gone from Jungkook’s life. He wonders how people can suddenly disappear from his life, and yet how he can still feel their impact, as if they were standing in the room with him, just over his shoulder, mocking him in everything he does. He can still hear Minseok’s scornful voice, he can still hear his Umma’s harsh rejections. The agony of losing Seokjin is still so visceral, it feels like he’s poking a festering wound every time he thinks about his hyung.

☽

Namjoon’s house has somehow become the centre of their lives, though Hoseok supposes that it was inevitable once Namjoon decided he was going to become their Pack Alpha.

Before, back when they didn’t yet know Jungkook and Hoseok had only just met Namjoon and Yoongi, the young alpha said he would never become a Pack Alpha, despite or maybe because of his Abeoji. Hoseok had always thought it was a shame, because Namjoon has a way about him of attracting wolves. He was a natural born leader, and maybe that’s why Hoseok had stuck around for so long, despite his turbulent relationship with Yoongi.

It is late August now, almost Jungkook’s seventeenth birthday. Hoseok is sweating in the heat wave that has hit the City, and he feels immediate relief as he steps into Namjoon’s cooler house, kicking off his shoes and moving into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

He comes to a stop in the threshold of the doorway as he catches the warm coffee scent, watching Yoongi’s throat work as he drains his own glass. His eyes follow a bead of sweat trailing down the column of Yoongi’s neck, and then he snaps his gaze up when Yoongi lowers the glass, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

They’re staring at each other for a moment, in silence, Yoongi’s dark eyes like whirlpools that draw Hoseok in. He can’t help but shiver at the attraction he feels for the other alpha, though he’s careful to keep it hidden.

“What’s up?” Yoongi asks. His voice is deep and rough, a little bit guarded, and Hoseok loves it.

“Is Namjoonie here? And Jungkookie?”

“No,” Yoongi shakes his head. “They’re out. Can you believe Jungkook’s never had ice cream? Namjoonie took him out to get some, so they should be back soon.”

“Okay,” Hoseok says, and then he finally moves into the kitchen to get his drink of water. He has to pass by Yoongi to get a glass, and Yoongi’s scent is even stronger now, made especially deep because he is sweating. Hoseok bites his bottom lip as he turns away from Yoongi’s sharp gaze.

“How are things at the hospital?” Yoongi asks. He’s so close that Hoseok can feel Yoongi’s breath fanning across his shoulder. He fumbles with the glass as he moves towards the fridge.

“Oh, things are fine. I’m learning a lot,” he says. It feels a little awkward with Yoongi, without Namjoon there. Namjoon has always been their buffer, because Hoseok’s attraction to Yoongi felt less obvious when other people were around.

“Yeah?” Yoongi lifts an eyebrow. “That’s good. I’ve always thought you’d be an amazing Pack Healer. Namjoon’s lucky to have you.”

Hoseok blushes, caught off guard. “Well, what about you?”

Now Yoongi raises both eyebrows. “Me? Lucky to have you?”

And now Hoseok knows he’s bright red, feeling even warmer because of the summer heat. “No, I meant…Namjoon’s lucky to have you too.”

Yoongi’s lips curve into a sardonic smile. “I guess he is.”

And then it falls silent again, Hoseok taking peeks at the other alpha as he sips his water. They are still close enough that Hoseok can feel the heat of Yoongi’s body, each inhale taking in more of that delicious coffee scent. Yoongi’s leaned back against the counter, body loose and relaxed and strong.

Hoseok feels weak at the knees just at the sight of him.

He sets his empty glass down, and he’s reaching out before he can stop himself. Every one of Yoongi’s micromovements come to a complete standstill when Hoseok’s fingers graze his cheek. It’s the scarred one, black marks jagged underneath the skin.

“…does it still hurt you?”

Yoongi exhales softly, and somehow, unbelievably, he hasn’t told Hoseok off for touching him, for being in his space.

“Not really, not anymore,” Yoongi says. “It aches sometimes, though. A reminder I guess.” He releases a sharp laugh. “Telling me how stupid I was back then.”

Hoseok frowns. “You weren’t stupid,” he chides softly, and his fingertips are gentle as he traces over the black marks that curl around Yoongi’s ear. “You were in pain.”

Yoongi falls silent, and still, he does not move. For a moment, Hoseok even thinks Yoongi might be leaning into his touch, but then the front door slams open and Yoongi is across the room in a heartbeat, greeting Jungkook as he walks into the kitchen, Namjoon following close behind.

Namjoon’s oblivious to the tension in the room, but Jungkook’s golden eyes glance between Yoongi and Hoseok. He’s always been so perceptive, and Hoseok has no doubt he’s picked up on Hoseok’s obvious attraction, no matter how hard he’s worked to hide it from Yoongi.

“Jungkookie couldn’t pick just one flavour,” Namjoon’s saying, dumping out five cartons of ice cream onto the counter. “So we’re going to start with these five and work our way through all the flavours, right Jungkook-ah?”

The tall pup nods, and it’s so cute that Hoseok can’t help the fond grin that spreads across his lips and he steps closer to the young alpha. Jungkook still isn’t talking, hasn’t for a few months now, but he’s doing a lot better in every other aspect of his life. Hoseok thinks the best part of it all is Jungkook’s acceptance of Hoseok as a doctor. He’d worked so hard to make Jungkook comfortable, despite still not knowing where Jungkook’s hesitance came from.

Namjoon scoops ice cream from all five containers into a bowl and passes it to Jungkook, who savours each flavour with a tiny noise that escapes the back of his throat. Hoseok sticks to plain vanilla.

“Alright,” Namjoon says, settling down at the kitchen table. “Come sit, Jungkook-ah. I have something to say.”

Jungkook sits dutifully, and Yoongi and Hoseok join them. The fridge hums faintly, and the buzzing of cicadas cuts through the quiet.

“You’ll be seventeen soon, Jungkook,” Namjoon starts. “And that means you can apply to join the Alpha Guard.”

Jungkook blinks owlishly, and on the other side of the table, Yoongi shifts in his seat.

“You mentioned once that you were interested in it,” Namjoon continues. “I want you think about it, about joining, if that’s still what you want. We’ll support you in what you decide.”

Jungkook nods slowly, still working his way through his mint chocolate chip ice cream.

“This doesn’t mean I don’t want you in our pack,” Namjoon tells him. Now Jungkook looks up, his spoon falling limp in his bowl. “I want you in our pack, Jungkook. Never, ever doubt that. This is your home now.”

And then Jungkook nods again, smaller, his golden eyes crinkling a little bit. He’s not smiling, but, he’s happy, Hoseok thinks.

“The reason I’m telling you to think about the Alpha Guard is because I’m not a Pack Alpha,” Namjoon explains. “Not yet, at least. I won’t be for a few years, and Hoseok and Yoongi are still working toward their own roles in my pack. My current Pack Alpha…there’s no way he’d adopt any pup into our pack. He wouldn’t accept it. So it’s kind of like this weird limbo right now. We’re going to be a pack in the future, Jungkook, we just can’t be one right now.”

And Jungkook seems to accept this, his faint woodsy scent a little clearer now. He lets Hoseok pet his hair, and then he joins Yoongi out on the back porch so that the older alpha can teach him how to use the barbeque to make their dinner.

Later, after night’s fallen and Jungkook’s asleep upstairs in his room, Hoseok joins Yoongi and Namjoon out on the back porch with a few cans of beer. Yoongi’s sitting on the porch steps smoking, though he quickly puts it out when Hoseok shoots him a disappointed look.

“The Alpha Guard?” Yoongi asks Namjoon, as the younger alpha settles into one of the deck chairs and pops the tab on the beer can. “Really?”

“Where else can he go?” Namjoon passes Hoseok a can too, and then leans back in his seat. “We’re not a pack yet, and I don’t want him to get bored sitting here waiting for that. He’d be so alone here, not doing anything. Besides, the Alpha Guard plays to his strengths.”

“He has my studio,” Yoongi argues.

“And that’s a good thing,” Namjoon agrees. “But he needs more positive experiences. He needs to see what’s out there for him. Maybe he’ll like the Alpha Guard, and maybe he won’t. But he’ll get to travel all over the territory, he’ll get to meet so many other wolves, and maybe that’s what he needs. Maybe it’ll give him a new perspective.”

Yoongi doesn’t answer, but the clench of his jaw makes it obvious he’s not in total agreement. Hoseok can understand – all three of them are especially protective of Jungkook.

Namjoon sighs. “Look,” he says eventually. “I really have no idea what the fuck I’m doing,” he admits. “I’m going in blind here. I wish Jungkook could talk to someone who knew how to take him out of his head, but I suggested a therapist once and Jungkook freaked out. I’m too scared to lose him to bring it up again.”

And then the fight seems to leave Yoongi’s body, and he joins them at the table. “I’m just worried about him,” Yoongi says. “I feel so…protective of him. I don’t want anything bad to happen to him again, and I can’t help but feel that the minute he leaves us, the minute he’s away from our protection, he’ll get hurt again. I don’t want him to go somewhere that I can’t reach him.”

“I know,” Namjoon says in plain agreement. “I feel the same. But I can’t just let him sit around here all day doing nothing. That would be even worse. Has he spoken at all in the past few months?” Namjoon asks. He’s frustrated. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I don’t know how to fix this, and I…I miss him.”

Namjoon’s voice breaks, a little bit, and he won’t look at either of them.

“You’re not doing anything wrong,” Hoseok cuts in, reassuringly. “This kind of response – mutism – doesn’t work that way. There’s not a cure that you can use so that he starts talking again.”

“I heard him singing today,” Yoongi says abruptly. Namjoon’s head snaps around to look at the older alpha.

“What?”

“I stopped by his room in my studio, and I heard him singing. His voice was cracking, probably because he hasn’t spoken in so long, but I heard it. I…I cried,” Yoongi admits, voice much quieter.

“That’s good,” Hoseok breathes. “That’s…that’s really, really good.”

“He’s getting better?” Namjoon asks. His voice is small, and for a moment Hoseok remembers that Namjoon is the youngest of the three of them.

“Better isn’t the word I would use,” Hoseok hums. “Like I said, it’s not a disease, and there’s no cure. But more comfortable? Yes. More trusting? I’d say so.” He pauses for a moment, in thought. “Do you remember what Jungkook was like when we first met him?”

Yoongi snorts. “How could I forget? That kid had so many defences up it felt like I was walking on a minefield just to say hello.”

“He was fragile,” Namjoon says quietly. “When I first met him. It’s better now. Back then, I felt like I needed gloves just to touch him, to talk to him.” And then Namjoon looks up from his beer can. “I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. I still don’t. That’s why I brought him to the orphanage, I thought that he’d find a Pack Alpha who’d know what they were doing and help him. But look at what happened! He ended up even more hurt. What if he turns out even more fucked up after me?”

“He won’t,” Hoseok says calmly. “Namjoon, come on. You’re being stupid. You care about Jungkook. We all do. We’ll always have his best interests as our priority, and that’s why we won’t fail him. We’re going to shower him with so much love, he won’t remember what it was like to be without it.”

Namjoon nods, his head lowered, and when Hoseok glances up, Yoongi’s dark eyes meet his from across the table. Hoseok looks away, back towards Namjoon.

“Besides,” Hoseok says gently. “Namjoon, you can’t blame yourself for Jungkook’s disposition. Really, you can’t. When you first met him, you said he was packless, right?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you think happened to him before you met him? Where did he come from? What was it like in his original pack?”

“I…I don’t know,” Namjoon says.

“You’re talking about his wolf,” Yoongi realizes. “Why his wolf is the way that it is.”

Hoseok nods. “I did some research. I’ve never seen a wolf look like that, and I wanted to know how it could have happened. What could have caused it.” Here, Hoseok’s stomach churns, no matter how many times he’d read and re-read what he’d learned. “You know our wolves are more honest than we are, right?”

Both of the other alphas nod.

“There’s a theory that our wolves manifest the experiences of our lives,” Hoseok tells them. “Both good and bad. Our wolves are a physical representation of our life experiences. Everything that happens to us affects our wolves somehow. So, if we’re following this theory, Jungkook’s wolf is so…monstrous, because his experiences have been monstrous too.”

It’s silent between the three of them for a moment.

“You’re saying that he was abused,” Yoongi says flatly. His scent has turned sour, rusty, and it prickles at Hoseok’s nose.

“I don’t know,” Hoseok says. “I haven’t talked to Jungkook about it. I don’t even know if he’d want to talk about it. But for this to happen to his wolf…abuse, yes, but it would have to be more than that. Like, consistent abuse, from multiple people in positions of power, fucking with his head and his body, building up this fucked up self-perception that he carries with him. And then it was exacerbated by the wolfsbane.”

Namjoon chokes on his breath. “The what?”

“The wolfsbane,” Hoseok repeats. “Didn’t you see his scar?”

“No,” Yoongi says. His eyes are dark as he leans forward. “He’s a fucking pup, Hoseok.”

“I know,” Hoseok says. His voice wavers. “And the scar is old. I saw it when he shifted back, before he put his shirt back on. Jungkook’s been through so much more than we thought. And it just makes me think…”

“What?” Namjoon asks, voice rough like sandpaper. “Makes you think what?”

“I don’t think Jungkook can tell the difference between the absence of abuse and genuine kindness.” Hoseok peers at the other two alphas with wet eyes. “I thought about it, how weird he was about Hyunsik. How he couldn’t seem to blame him for what had happened at the orphanage. But he treats us even weirder. It’s like, he doesn’t know what to do with that kindness, once it’s given to him. He doesn’t know how to react to it. So instead, he went silent. Maybe, to him, no reaction is the best reaction.”

They fall into their own silence, when Hoseok stops speaking. Namjoon seems tired, Yoongi’s jaw is tight.

“I…I have an idea,” Yoongi says, after a moment. “I’ve actually thought about it for a little while, but I wasn’t sure if it would work. But, well, Jungkook doesn’t talk to us, so why doesn’t he talk to himself?”

“What do you mean?” Hoseok asks.

“Like, if he records himself. If he tells it like a story,” Yoongi explains. “It was something I was looking into, with like…therapy. You know, telling people the story of your life. Celebrating all the little things. Realizing how much you’ve grown. I think…sometimes the hardest thing to do is to admit it to yourself. Admit to yourself what happened to you, and that what happened wasn’t your fault. Before Jungkook can talk to us, he needs to have that conversation with himself.”

“I…like that,” Namjoon says slowly. “The story of his life. It would be for him, and whoever else he decides to share it with.”

“I like it too,” Hoseok agrees. “It’s a good place to start working through what happened to him.”

And then Namjoon’s head snaps around, his eyes falling on the screen door. Hoseok follows his gaze, but nothing’s there. It’s quiet for a few seconds, and then Hoseok’s ears pick up on the quiet footsteps too. Jungkook appears out of the darkness, blinking at the bright outdoor light, rubbing at his eyes.

He peers out at them, silent as ever, shoulders faintly trembling and his breath too shallow. Hoseok knows he’s had another nightmare.

Namjoon moves quicker than Hoseok and Yoongi, to meet Jungkook at the door. “C’mon, Jungkook-ah,” he says gently. “Let’s go watch a movie, yeah? Want to pick one out?”

Jungkook nods, and follows Namjoon dutifully into the living room. Hoseok stands up to join them, collecting the empty beer cans from the table. He’s stopped by Yoongi’s warm hand gripping his wrist.

He blinks at the older alpha in surprise, the beer can nearly falling from his grasp.

“So,” Yoongi says, his dark eyes looking up at Hoseok as if appraising him. “You chose Jungkook in the end, huh?”

Hoseok furrows his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

“You had to decide between staying with our pack or leaving Jungkook behind.” Yoongi isn’t smiling. “You chose Jungkook. Good job.”

Hoseok is speechless. “How…how did you know…?”

“I know a lot of things,” Yoongi tells him. “I knew the minute you started looking for a new pack. I didn’t bother telling Namjoon, because that would have hurt him and I don’t like hurting the people who matter to me.”

Hoseok’s mouth is dry, his tongue feels useless. Yoongi still isn’t smiling. “Look,” Hoseok says weakly. “I just…Namjoonie wasn’t going to be a Pack Alpha, back then. And I’m a really good doctor. A lot of packs wanted me.”

“Namjoon wants you,” Yoongi states. “Jungkookie needs you. Did you forget about that?”

Now Hoseok is angry. “You make it sound like what I did was so wrong. I never actually left our pack. But it was flattering to know that other packs appreciated me and the work that I do.”

Yoongi laughs at this, but it’s humourless, sarcastic. Hoseok flushes in embarrassment. “You want to be appreciated?” Yoongi’s tongue curls around the words, and he grins wickedly. It’s more erotic than it has any right being, and Hoseok’s face feels warm.

Suddenly, Yoongi’s right in front of Hoseok, in his space, gripping his hand and bringing it up to touch those black scars, mocking Hoseok’s gentle touch from earlier. “Oh Hoseok-ah,” Yoongi simpers. “Thank you for making everything better. Thank you for all your hard work back then, you saved my life! Oh, what would I do without you? You’re the best doctor in the whole wide world!”

Hoseok slaps him.

The sound rings out in the quiet of the night, Yoongi’s face still tilted to one side from the force of Hoseok’s slap, red blossoming across the skin between the jagged black scars.

“You’re being mean,” Hoseok says, his chest heaving with each breath, and he feels like he might cry. Yoongi making a mockery of what happened back then, in the hospital where they first met, is so vile that Hoseok feels sick at the words. “Stop it.”

Yoongi’s eyes flicker back to him, as unreadable as ever. He isn’t laughing anymore.

“You really dislike me that much, huh? Don’t worry. You can stay in this pack, to be with Jungkook. I won’t get in your way.”

☾

The years between Jungkook’s seventeenth birthday and his twenty-first birthday are the most stable of his life.

He joins the Alpha Guard. He moves out of Namjoon’s spare room and into the complex of the Alpha Guard; squat grey buildings with narrow alleys and flat roofs. It’s the first place Jungkook’s ever had that’s been his and his alone. He barely knows what to do with all the empty space of his apartment, but his hyungs all drop by and give him gifts. He even manages to keep the cactus Namjoon gives him alive.

He has his hyungs, who become the closest thing to a family that he’s ever had.

He finds his voice again, and he even starts singing in the safety of his studio in Genius Lab. Yoongi suggests he starts a podcast, as a place to tell his story. It takes him a long time to consider actually posting his recordings somewhere anyone could hear them, but then reality sinks in and he thinks no one would actually listen to him anyway.

But still, he starts the podcast.

He doubts anyone listens to the podcast, though he imagines that his three hyungs might listen to it, because they’d been so supportive. In fact, he thinks that he’d be disappointed if they didn’t listen. He wants them to listen. When he speaks into the microphone, he imagines his three hyungs sitting across from him, listening to his story without interrupting, accepting him for who he is.

(Sometimes he even imagines Seokjin sitting there too, smiling at him so gently, hugging him tight when he talks about his life. But he tries not to think about Seokjin too much. It still hurts like a knife to the heart.)

It was a podcast of nothing. It was podcast of Jungkook. It was a place for him to talk for an hour about nothing, about everything. But it’s already been a whole year since he started it, and he hasn’t grown bored yet.

Golden Closet, he’d called it. Golden, for his eyes, for his identity. Closet, for the tiny room he works out of.

Yoongi had pitched the idea to him after he’d returned from his training for the Alpha Guard. He had just turned twenty, and he’d spent the last few years traveling all over the territory, fulfilling Head Alpha’s commands. It felt…calming, to have so much structure in his life. Besides, Namjoon was traveling just as much as he was, stopping by Jungkook’s posts to check in on him throughout it all.

Now that Jungkook is permanently back in the City, now that he’s completed his Alpha Guard training, his days are filled with his Guard duties, and his evenings are filled with his podcast. He puts out a few episodes a week, but the rest of the time he spends on his music.

He is building his life. He is telling his story.

I’m becoming me.

He sits in his studio, with the microphone hovering near his mouth, and his headphones covering his ears. What story should he tell today? Where should he begin?

“When I was twelve years old, I met an angel…”

☽

Given the winter storm that had hit the night before and only tapered off in the late afternoon, Jungkook’s inordinately pleased at the empty streets. His black Timberlands mark his tread behind him, snow crunching beneath his feet. It is a new moon tonight, early in the new year, and only the streetlights illuminate his path.

Despite the frigid air, his nose twitches when he picks up the scents of other alphas. They are far enough away that it does not particularly bother him, which means they are probably a couple streets over. The stretch of road in front of and behind him is empty. He buries his nose into his wool scarf, exhales.

The sound of his ringtone cuts through the chilly air, almost excessively loud in the surrounding silence.

“Hello?”

“Jungkook-ah!” Namjoon exclaims, his voice too loud over the phone in the surrounding quiet of the night. Jungkook finds comfort in it; he has not seen his hyung for three months.

“What is it hyung?” He asks. Jungkook’s voice is gravelly from disuse.

“Where are you?” There’s a cacophony of voices in the background, and Jungkook knows exactly where Namjoon is.

“Hyung, you’re back?”

“Mhm,” Namjoon’s voice melts through the phone. “I thought I would surprise you.”

“I’m not coming by tonight, hyung. I went for a run.”

“Oh,” Namjoon pauses. “A run?”

“Yes,” Jungkook says.

“By yourself? Or…”

“Yes,” Jungkook says again. “By myself.” Who else would I go with, he thinks.

Namjoon doesn’t reply for a moment, and Jungkook presses the phone closer to his ear. He’s stopped walking, paused under the awning of a restaurant, the red light from the Closed sign tinting the snowbanks with a faint glow.

“I should have called you earlier,” Namjoon says finally, with a soft laugh. “I would have come too.”

Jungkook doesn’t know what to say to that. “Okay hyung.”

Namjoon is silent again. “Maybe next time,” he murmurs.

Jungkook exhales. “Okay hyung.”

“Are you coming by my place tomorrow?”” Namjoon asks. “Or should I come find you?”

“No, I’ll come,” Jungkook concedes. “I’ll come by in the afternoon.”

“Good,” Namjoon says. “I miss you.”

Jungkook exhales again, something that’s almost a laugh. “You always say that, hyung.”

“I know,” Namjoon agrees. He sounds like he’s smiling. “Because it’s true, I always miss you. So humour your hyung, okay?”

“Okay,” Jungkook says. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Namjoon echoes the farewell, and Jungkook slides his phone back into his pocket. He’s still stopped under the restaurant awning. When he lifts his head and moves out onto the sidewalk again, his nose twitches.

Omega.

His brows furrow and his nose twitches again. It’s definitely the scent of an omega, close by, just down the road. He’d only missed picking up on it earlier because he’d been on the phone.

He’s confused for another few seconds until he picks up on the alpha scent too. Then it’s less confusing. An omega alone, in this part of the city, at night, is almost unheard of. An omega with their alpha makes more sense.

He disregards their scents, burying his nose back into his scarf.

It’s only a few moments later that he hears the soft pattering of footsteps quicker than his own, and then Jungkook’s startled when the omega suddenly stops right in front of him.

Jungkook comes to a halt, blinks down at the omega standing in his path.

“Excuse me.” The omega’s voice is melodic, but high and thin with fear. “I think someone’s following me.”

Jungkook’s eyes catch on full lips, a straight nose, sparkling brown eyes. Pretty, Jungkook’s mind supplies. There is no other word to describe the omega.

Pretty.

And then the cinnamon and sugar scent hits his nose, and Jungkook feels his jaw drop. He blinks owlishly down at the small omega, his brain stuttering to a halt, his heartbeat racing in his chest. It’s not possible. It can’t be…can it?

…Jimin?

“Please,” the omega says, peering up at Jungkook with wide eyes. He has the same angelic features from all those years ago, and the time that has passed has only made him more beautiful. His blond hair glows like a halo, his eyes are sparkling like little stars. Jungkook has never forgotten his angel. “Please, just, could you pretend to know me, or…anything, please.”

Jungkook snaps his gaze up over Jimin’s head, to the dark form of the alpha beyond. The alpha has remained in the safety of darkness like a coward, but he’s yet to move on. Jungkook can smell irritation in the musky scent, but overpoweringly there is the scent of lust for the tiny omega standing between them.

Jungkook bares his teeth, a growl vibrating from his throat as he steps around Jimin to block the smaller boy from view. Jimin spins with the movement, a soft gasp of surprise escaping his lips when he stumbles into Jungkook’s back. The other alpha is still shrouded in darkness, and Jungkook holds his ground. He can feel the faint trembling form of the small omega pressed to his back. It’s tense, for a moment, and Jungkook lets his scent bleed into the empty space between himself and the unknown alpha. It is only then that the irritation drops from the unknown alpha’s scent, the smell of trepidation growing as the other alpha takes off, backtracks down the empty street.

“Is he gone?”

Jimin’s voice is smooth, like honey. The dulcet tones are soft in Jungkook’s ears. He turns back to face the smaller boy, though he doesn’t stop tracking the faint footsteps of the other alpha in his retreat. “He’s gone.”

His voice is so unlike the Jimin’s; rough and deep in his chest; laconic, terse, and clipped, even when he doesn’t mean for it to be. Jungkook has always had difficulty putting words to his thoughts. As a child he was shy, as a teenager he was troubled; now, he doesn’t know what he is.

Mysterious, omegas say.

Arrogant, alphas say.

Jimin lets out a sigh of relief, shoulders sagging as his head drops forward. “Thank you,” he whispers. And then he tilts his gaze back up, offers Jungkook a warm smile, a shy little thing. Jungkook savours the pink cheeks and sparkling eyes. He cannot remember the last time a look like this was directed towards him. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t here.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook says. He likes that the burning sugar has disappeared from Jimin’s scent, and that the sweet smell of cinnamon has replaced it. He likes the Jimin’s sunny smile even more. He still cannot believe that it’s Jimin – it’s really, really Jimin. “What are you doing here, on this road? This isn’t really the best place for omegas at night.”

Jimin bites his lip and shifts his feet. “Um, I didn’t really know that. I moved a few weeks ago. I was just taking a shortcut to meet up with some friends.”

Jungkook lets out a soft noise of acknowledgment. He watches how Jimin’s gaze flickers, his assessment of Jungkook poorly concealed. He sees Jimin take in Jungkook’s height, and the width of his frame, and then Jimin chews on his plush bottom lip. It’s obvious he doesn’t recognize Jungkook, but then Jungkook hadn’t really expected the omega to remember him. Realistically, he wouldn’t have made an impact on the omega the same way Jimin had on him. So Jungkook doesn’t say a word about their meeting years ago, about how Jimin had saved his life.

Jungkook’s unmoved by the sudden raucous laughter of alphas as a group of them leave a nearby bar, but Jimin startles like a baby deer, stumbling once more, and because he’d had a tight grip on Jungkook’s jacket sleeve the whole time, he ends up stumbling right up into Jungkook’s chest.

“Oh,” Jimin says, cheeks tinged pink from the cold and from the embarrassment, as he takes a quick step back. “Sorry.”

Jungkook blinks down at him, glances over to the group of alphas, and then shifts his gaze back to the omega. “Would you like me to walk you to wherever you’re going?”

This time it’s Jimin’s turn to blink, and then, “Yes, please,” he breathes, and Jungkook earns himself another sunny smile.

He can’t believe he found Jimin again, and in such an innocuous way too. Jungkook used to think that if they ever met again, he expected a fanfare, an extravagant reunion because it was what Jimin deserved. But maybe this was how they were always supposed to meet – always coming to each other’s rescue. In all the years that had gone by, he’d started to think maybe Jimin wasn’t real, or that maybe he’d exaggerated the image of Jimin in his head to be something beyond magical. He’d been half-dead when Jimin had found him, so who really knew if Jimin was real?

But no, Jimin shines a brightly as he did all those years ago. He really had found an angel that day.

Jimin, Jungkook quickly learns, loves to chatter.

Jungkook falls into step next to him, and the omega immediately links his arm through Jungkook’s, his small hand gripping onto the sleeve of Jungkook’s coat. Jungkook raises an eyebrow at the familiarity, but he doesn’t protest the hold, which is unusual for him. But he likes having Jimin so close to him.

“I’m Jimin,” the smaller says, because he doesn’t recognize Jungkook.

“Jungkook,” he offers, keeping pace with Jimin’s smaller strides. He doesn’t mind that Jimin presses so close; Jimin is shivering a little bit, with each gust of the icy wind, and eventually Jungkook unwinds the scarf from around his own neck and passes it to Jimin.

“Oh,” Jimin says. “You don’t have to…”

Jungkook shrugs. “I’m fine with the cold,” he says. “Take it.”

“Okay,” Jimin says softly, letting go of Jungkook to wrap the thick scarf around his own neck. Jungkook mourns the loss of Jimin’s proximity for a moment, but then Jimin’s right back in his space, smiling up at the alpha. “Thank you.”

Jungkook, inexplicably, feels himself flush. “Uh,” he mumbles, turning away from Jimin’s sparkling eyes. “No problem.”

“And thank you for walking me to meet my friends, Jungkook,” Jimin says, turning to him with another bright smile. “I’m sorry to inconvenience you, I just…I don’t think I could have fought that alpha off, if it came to that.”

“It’s not an inconvenience,” Jungkook tells him. “I don’t mind.”

“It’s just so different from my town,” Jimin tells him. “I feel like alphas are so bold here. Do you know how many times I’ve been cat-called by alphas just for walking down the street? This isn’t even the first time I’ve been followed!”

He says this like it’s a minor inconvenience, lips pushed out into a pout. Jungkook feels his wolf prickling just beneath his skin.

“Those assholes,” Jungkook says calmly, his wolf anything but.

“Exactly!” Jimin nods. “I was worried tonight, because he was following me for a while, but I caught your scent and…it was kind of comforting?” Jimin’s voice gets a little smaller, a little shyer. “My wolf thought we’d be safe with you.”

“You are,” Jungkook tells him, honestly, and then Jimin seems to melt into him a little more, and Jungkook catches sight of Jimin’s smile before the smaller buries his face into Jungkook’s scarf around his neck.

Jimin continues to chatter, all the way up to the bar where he’s meeting his friends.

“This is me,” Jimin says softly, his hands falling from their place on Jungkook’s arm. Suddenly, Jungkook’s arms feels so much colder.

“Enjoy your night, Jimin-ah,” Jungkook says. He doesn’t want to leave, but he doesn’t have a reason to stay. Still, he can’t help the way his eyes drink in Jimin’s face, the way he tries to imprint Jimin’s scent into his memory.

He turns to go, but then Jimin’s reaching out to grab his hand.

“Wait!” Jungkook turns back to face the omega. “Um, you forgot your scarf.”

Jimin reaches up, as if to take it off, but Jungkook stops him. “Keep it. You need it more than me.”

Jimin bites his lip. “Okay,” he says.

“Okay,” Jungkook nods. He doesn’t know what else to say. Jimin’s looking up at him with wide, hopeful eyes, but Jungkook’s mouth goes dry. How do you tell someone that you want to see them again?

“Are you really going to leave me here without getting my number?” Jimin asks.

“Um,” Jungkook says, blinking down at him. “No?”

“Good,” Jimin pulls his phone out of his pocket and then hands it to Jungkook. He taps at the screen, typing in his number, still a little disbelieving that Jimin apparently wants to see him again. Or, at least, talk to him again. When he hands the phone back, Jimin quickly types out a message, and Jungkook hears his phone ping! in his pocket.

Jungkook feels like he should say something more. He searches for something to say, something that makes sense. “Hey, if you’re ever in trouble again, just shoot me a text. I work for the Alpha Guard, so…”

“Oh, really?” Jimin asks, voice airy with wonder. “I’ll definitely text you then!”

“Good,” Jungkook nods.

“But I’ll also text you whenever I want to, okay?”

Again, Jungkook feels words fail him. “Yeah, okay.”

And with one last bright smile, and a bye Jungkookie, Jimin leaves him standing in the middle of the sidewalk, loose flurries of snow kissing his skin, and a text on his phone that reads this is Jimin! thank you for coming to my rescue :)

☾

Jungkook lets himself into Namjoon’s house the following afternoon, with the spare key he’d been given the first night he ever stayed at Namjoon house, right after the nightmare that had happened at the orphanage.

The key sits on ring with his key to Genius Lab, to his studio, to his own apartment, and the key to his locker at the Alpha Guard headquarters. Jungkook doesn’t consider himself to be sentimental, but there’s something reassuring about the weight of his keychain, the significance of each of these important places.

Namjoon’s house is warm, and he kicks off his boots and hangs his coat in the closet before making his way further inside. He heads towards the kitchen, at the back of the house, because he can hear the voices filtering down the hall.

“Is that Jungkook-ah?”

Hoseok is pulling him into a hug within seconds of Jungkook rounding the corner and stepping into the kitchen. He doesn’t mind the embrace – Hoseok smells like vanilla and Jungkook likes his hugs. Over the years he’s known his Hobi-hyung, Jungkook’s come to realize that Hoseok isn’t quite like the alphas he grew up with. Overwhelmingly, Hoseok cares so much about the people around him, and it’s why he decided to become a doctor. It also means the way he cares about Jungkook is painfully honest, but also extremely reassuring.

“You’re so cold!” Hoseok exclaims, pulling back from the hug. “Come on, let me get you something hot to drink.”

Hoseok steps back, and then Jungkook sets his gaze on Namjoon, who he hasn’t seen in three months, who he’s missed like a piece of himself had been missing for those three months too.

“Jungkookie,” Namjoon says, a smile broadening across his face. He pulls Jungkook into a hug too, and Jungkook can’t help but close his eyes for a moment, drinking in the calming scent of sandalwood. He only opens his eyes when Namjoon pulls back from the embrace, but the older alpha keeps his hands on Jungkook’s shoulders. “I can’t believe I was gone for so long. I missed you.”

Jungkook wants to tell him he missed him too, but the words don’t come. It’s difficult, because it’s mixed in with the resentment Jungkook had felt when Namjoon had left three months ago. He didn’t like Namjoon leaving him for so long, but he’d never told Namjoon that either.

“Where’s Yoongi-hyung?” he asks, noting his hyung missing from the kitchen. He doesn’t miss the tension in Hoseok’s shoulders, or the way he suddenly goes quiet, so that he can hear Namjoon’s answer.

“He’s coming too,” Namjoon says, finally dropping his hands from Jungkook’s shoulders. “He just had a few things to do at the studio.”

Jungkook nods, moving further into the kitchen. He steps up to Hoseok’s side, and his hyung slides a mug of hot chocolate towards him. “You’ll get a cold if you walk around without a scarf, Jungkook.”

He shrugs. “I forgot it.”

“Take one of mine,” Namjoon offers, sitting on one of the high stools at the centre island in his kitchen. “I don’t want you getting sick. Especially since the Wolf Moon ceremony is only a few days away.”

“Are you performing hyung?” Jungkook asks, joining him at the island.

“Yep,” Namjoon nods. “I got back just in time for it. You’ve missed the ceremony for the last few years, haven’t you?”

Jungkook shrugs. “I wasn’t in the City.”

“How lucky,” Namjoon murmurs. “That you’ll get to see me perform. It’ll be like old times.”

“Do you want me to steal your wallet again?” Jungkook asks sardonically, and Namjoon laughs.

“What about you, hyung?” Jungkook turns to look over at Hoseok. “Are you performing too?”

But before Hoseok can answer, there’s a knock at the door, and Jungkook’s nose twitches with the faint scent of coffee. “It’s Yoongi-hyung,” he says, moving to the front door. He lets Yoongi in, watches his hyung stamp the snow from his boots and unzip is coat.

Yoongi pauses, nostrils flaring, and then he looks over at Jungkook. “Hoseok’s here already?”

“Yes,” Jungkook says. He doesn’t know what’s happened, or what hasn’t happened between them, but the last few years have been a tumultuous roller coaster between his two hyungs. Even Namjoon’s noticed it by now, but he hasn’t said anything. They all pretend everything is fine, but it makes Jungkook a little uneasy. He remembers when he asked Yoongi years ago if he shouldn’t like Hoseok, and by now it’s too late. Hoseok’s as important to him as Yoongi is.

Yoongi hesitates, but then he moves into the house, and Jungkook follows him back to the kitchen. Yoongi greets Namjoon, and his eyes flicker over to Hoseok, but the other alpha doesn’t look up and Yoongi seems to take that to mean he should ignore Hoseok too.

“Don’t leave us for that long again, Joon-ah,” Yoongi says. “We’re all a little lost without you.”

“Ah, hyung,” Namjoon says, rubbing the back of his head. He looks a little bashful. “I didn’t mean to be gone for so long. I just…I ended up…kind of meeting someone?”

“Oh?” Yoongi raises an eyebrow, and now Hoseok’s looking over too. Jungkook’s only reassured by their ignorance too. The thought of Namjoon finding someone else who was important to him made Jungkook a little jealous. “Really?”

Namjoon laughs, a little awkwardly. “I don’t know if I’ll see him again,” Namjoon says. “I don’t even know if he felt the same way. He was a little…uncommitted. So, we’ll see. I don’t really want to talk about it, not right now at least.”

“Okay,” Yoongi says. Hoseok finally moves closer, back-hugging Namjoon to offer him support.

“I want to talk about something happier,” Namjoon says, leaning into Hoseok’s comforting hold for a moment. “I want to hear all about Jungkookie in the Alpha Guard. Tell me what you’ve been up to while I was gone.”

☽

Jimin is…cute.

He spams Jungkook’s phone with texts, and for someone who has a total of six contacts in his phone (including Jimin), it makes Jungkook realize just how bad he is at texting.

Jimin likes to send him pictures, and he sends Jungkook one the morning after they met, the cutest selfie with a good morning! text.

He’d even asked for a selfie back, and Jungkook had to quickly take one because he didn’t have pictures of himself on his phone. He took pictures of the places he’d traveled to while training for the Alpha Guard, but overwhelmingly, his gallery is filled with pictures of his hyungs.

He didn’t realize until after he’d sent it that he wasn’t even smiling, but Jimin had still sent back a cute! with three heart eye emojis. Jungkook had squinted at the picture of himself, trying to find where.

Jimin is the same over text as he is in person; he chatters a lot, and sends a lot of pictures too. But Jungkook likes it. It feels reassuring to know that Jimin actually wants to talk to him. Jimin does ask him to come pick him up, a few more times, whenever he ends up staying out too late. Jungkook doesn’t mind this either; sometimes Jimin is a little bit tipsy and his scent is somehow even warmer, and he clings to Jungkook like he isn’t scared of Jungkook at all.

He learns so much about the omega. He learns that Jimin had moved to the City from a town far south on the coast, growing up with salt water-scented air and the sound of seagulls high above. He learns that Jimin is a Mage, the omega equivalent for the Alpha Guard in terms of their importance, though the work they do is very different. He learns that Jimin is two years older than him, but Jungkook has a hard time remembering to call him hyung – it’s difficult enough not to call him angel with every breath.

Jimin tells him all this and more, an open book over text and when they meet, so honest about himself that Jungkook can’t help but collect all the pieces Jimin gives him, imprinting them deep in his memory, savouring each and every piece that he gets.

He never wants to forget Jimin.

☾

The Wolf Moon ceremony falls on a Friday night, and Jungkook is glad for it. He knows he’ll end up staying out until the early hours of the morning with his hyungs, because that’s how they’ve always been.

Yoongi isn’t performing, just like him, but he did write a song for the ceremony.

“Can you tell which one is mine?” Yoongi asks him, seated next to him on the cold metal bleachers as they watch the performers on the stage from afar.

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I can always tell, hyung.” Yoongi puts pieces of himself into his music, the same way his scent clings to the beanies he leaves scattered around Jungkook’s studio.

A ghost of a smile spreads across Yoongi’s lips, and then he nudges Jungkook’s shoulder with his own. “You say such cute things.”

Jungkook huffs. “Hoseok-hyung said that you were working with an omega for the ceremony.” Yoongi and Hoseok are talking again, probably because Namjoon’s come back to buffer them.

“Mhm,” Yoongi nods. “We put together a piece for one of her dancers. He’s going to have a solo tonight.”

Jungkook nods, and then turns his attention back to the stage as the lights dim, and the dancers switch on stage.

It’s as powerful as it normally is, with the wild performances of each rank, and Jungkook is as content as he usually is to simply watch, to take in the extravagance. He always looks forward to watching Namjoon perform; Namjoon is so strong and so powerful that Jungkook can’t help but be reminded of how grateful he is to have his hyung in his life, to have found his hyung all those years ago.

The lights dim again, marking a change, and then a slow, soothing melody starts.

And then an angel in white steps out onto the stage, dancing to a song Jungkook knows Yoongi wrote, and his breath catches.

Jimin.

It’s Jimin, dressed in pure white, dancing so beautifully across the stage it’s almost like he’s floating, as if the stage was glass and he’s gliding across it. Jungkook leans forward in his seat, eyes widening as he takes in the omega’s performance.

Everything about Jimin draws him in. How casually sensual he is in his performance, the raw passion in his dance. He exudes an allure that’s almost hypnotizing; Jungkook can’t take his eyes off of him and he thinks that he forgets to breathe.

“Jungkook.”

Yoongi’s voice cuts through the roaring of the crowd. With one final leap, Jimin disappears from the stage, alpha dancers taking over in their own dance as the music shifts. Jungkook sits back in his seat, as if he’s just been released from a spell.

“Jungkook.”

He turns to his hyung. “What?”

Yoongi looks amused. “What’d you think?”

Jungkook’s tongue swipes at his bottom lip. “He was…amazing. An amazing dancer, I mean. Just…graceful. Delicate. Strong.”

“I meant the song,” Yoongi says dryly. “You know, the one I produced?”

“Oh,” Jungkook says shortly. “Yeah, it was good.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Thanks, glad to know how you really feel.”

After the ceremony is over, Jungkook and Yoongi make their way over to the tents set up for the performers, to meet up with Namjoon and Hoseok.

The area is crowded with wolves of all different packs, halting their movement and slowing them down. Jungkook’s height and strength give him an advantage, and most wolves step out of his way immediately, once they catch a glimpse of his flat expression and the dog tags hanging from around his neck, marking him as one of the Alpha Guard.

“Jungkook!”

He turns his head in the direction of the melodic voice, searching through the crowd.

“Jungkookie!” And then Jimin appears, breathless and pink from exertion, with the remnants of eyeliner still clinging to his lower lash line. He’s changed out of his performance outfit, and he’s wearing Jungkook’s scarf around his neck.

Jungkook blinks down at him in surprise. Beside him, Yoongi has gone silent.

“Hi!” Jimin says brightly, lips curing up into a grin.

“Hi Jimin.”

“Um,” Jimin’s voice is soft. “This is such a coincidence! I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook says, a bit awkwardly. He’s hyper aware of his hyung at his side, who looks perplexed as he glances between Jungkook and Jimin. “I’m here to see my hyungs.”

“Oh,” Jimin tilts his head to the side. “So you watched the whole thing?”

“Yes.”

“What did you think?” Jimin asks. He steps closer when he’s bumped from behind by a passerby, right up into Jungkook’s space. “Did you like my dance?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook tells him, once again hypnotized by Jimin’s everything. He can’t take his eyes off of him. “You were…amazing. Beautiful.”

Jimin flushes pink, but he looks extremely pleased. “I worked really hard on it,” he informs Jungkook. “That’s why I’ve been so busy, recently. But now that it’s over, I can thank you for the other night.”

Yoongi makes an alarming noise that sounds like a dying bird in his throat. Jimin goes even pinker, and Jungkook reaches out to hit Yoongi’s shoulder. “I meant, walking me to meet my friends.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Jungkook reassures him. “It was nothing. I didn’t mind it.”

“Still,” Jimin wheedles. “It meant a lot to me, that you went out of your way. I wanted to repay you somehow.”

“Why don’t you come with us to dinner?” Yoongi suddenly jumps in, and Jungkook glances over at him, surprised. “You can treat Jungkook to his portion, and you can meet his hyungs.”

“Ooo, that sounds really fun,” Jimin murmurs. He peers up at Jungkook, lower lip jutted out just a tiny bit, in possibly the cutest pout Jungkook’s ever seen. “But I already have plans with some of the other omega dancers. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Jungkook says quickly. “It’s okay. We’ll just do it another time.”

And then Jimin’s lips break out into a warm smile. “Yeah, we will, won’t we? Another time.”

Before Jungkook can say anything more, Jimin’s name is called, and they both turn to look.

“I have to go now,” Jimin spins in place to face Jungkook again, an apologetic tilt to his lips. “But text me, okay? Promise you will?”

“Uh, okay,” Jungkook says quietly. “I promise.”

Jimin smiles again. “Bye, Jungkookie.” And then he leans up and slips his arms around Jungkook’s neck, going on tiptoe to pull him into a tight hug, despite Jungkook’s limp arms remaining useless at his sides.

And then he’s off, bouncing with each step, squeezing back through the crowd, and Jungkook watches him go.

“How the hell,” Yoongi stresses, coming around to stand in front of Jungkook. “Do you know Park Jimin?”

“Hmm?” Jungkook asks, finally turning his gaze to Yoongi once the small omega has disappeared from view. “You know him or something?”

Yoongi looks incredulous. “Know him? Of course I don’t know him. He’s only like the most eligible omega in the Territory. You’d have to be like, an elite alpha to even be in the same room as him!”

“Really?” Jungkook frowns. “He doesn’t give that impression. What do you mean, elite?”

“He comes from a long line of omegas,” Yoongi says. “Some families really care about that purity crap, so that’s kind of how he got to be so special. But then, you saw him perform, right? That’s how everyone got to know him. I’m shocked he hasn’t been mated yet.”

Jungkook looks at him sharply, and Yoongi rolls his eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’ll lay off if you’re already feeling territorial.”

“I’m not,” Jungkook denies. He just…feels protective of Jimin. He wants Jimin to be happy. He likes when Jimin’s smiling and laughing.

“How’d you even meet him?” Yoongi asks, curiosity colouring his voice.

“He was being followed by some alpha when he was out at night,” Jungkook tells him. They’ve started walking again, towards Namjoon and Hoseok’s tent. “He asked me for help. That’s all it was. We just exchanged numbers and I told him that if he was ever in trouble again, he could let me know. It wasn’t a big deal.”

“Well, you definitely left an impression,” Yoongi claps him on the shoulder. “So I say go for it. Go get him, alpha.”

☽

Namjoon and Hoseok are in the same tent, still a little out of breath from their performances. Hoseok pulls Jungkook into a hug when he walks into the tent, and it puts him within a few feet of Yoongi, who looks a little wide-eyed at Hoseok’s sudden proximity.

He meets Yoongi’s gaze, over Jungkook’s shoulder, and takes in Yoongi’s dark eyes, the faint pink high on his cheekbones that must be from the icy wind. And then Yoongi looks away, passed Hoseok to Namjoon, who’s slipping on his jacket.

“Ready to go?” Namjoon asks, and Hoseok releases Jungkook from his hold. “There’s a place not to far from here where we can go eat.”

Namjoon moves to the entrance of the tent, and Jungkook joins him, and Hoseok can hear Namjoon asking Jungkook about the performance, about what he thought, as they leave the warmth of the tent behind. He can’t help but feel fond, when he watches them go. Hoseok had always thought that Jungkook’s hero-worship of Namjoon was adorable, but it was equally adorable to watch the way Namjoon seemed to bloom in Jungkook’s presence, soaking up the admiration and returning it tenfold.

“Hey.”

Yoongi stops him with a tug on his coat, and Hoseok startles in place. He turns to face the other alpha, and he crosses his arms over his chest, as if to give himself some semblance of protection. He likes Yoongi, a lot, and that means Hoseok knows that Yoongi’s attention can either be as gentle as a kiss or as callous as sharp knives. There is no in-between, so Hoseok always ends up on the defensive.

He supposes that being privileged enough to have witnessed Yoongi’s gentlest side, Hoseok had allowed himself to believe that he’d have that forever. He’d allowed himself to fall into the deepest love he’s ever known. And now he can’t find his way back up.

“Hey, Hoseok,” Yoongi’s voice is hard, and it snaps Hoseok back to reality.

“Yes?”

“Has Jungkook mentioned any of his friends to you?”

Hoseok furrows his eyebrows. “You mean his team with the Alpha Guard?”

Yoongi shakes his head. Hoseok moves to leave the tent, and Yoongi falls into step beside him. It’s cold, outside, and now that Hoseok is no longer performing, he feels the chill even more.

“Jungkook has an omega friend.”

Hoseok gawks. “Wait, really? An omega?”

“Mhm,” Yoongi nods. “I just met him. He came to say hi to Jungkookie. It’s Park Jimin.”

Hoseok would laugh in disbelief if it wasn’t Yoongi who was telling him this. “Park Jimin?” he repeats. “How?”

“He said they met when Jimin was followed by some alpha,” Yoongi tells him. “Jungkookie came to his rescue.”

“Wow,” Hoseok murmurs. “So Jungkook can be like that too, huh?”

“That’s not what was so strange about it,” Yoongi admits, and when Hoseok looks over, he sees that Yoongi’s beanie is dislodged, the tip of his ear a little red at the cold weather.

He reaches over to fix it, without thinking. “What was so strange?”

Yoongi doesn’t answer, and then Hoseok realizes what he’s doing, his fingers still gently pulling on Yoongi’s black beanie so that it covers his ears from the wind. He draws his hand back, flushing a little bit. “Hyung?”

Yoongi clears his throat and keeps moving forward, following Namjoon and Jungkook in the distance, and Hoseok keeps pace with him. “It was the way Jimin got so close to Jungkook, and…Jungkook let him.”

Hoseok frowns. “What do you mean?”

“You remember what Jungkook was like,” Yoongi says dryly. “When we first met him. He didn’t like any of us getting close to him. He didn’t even like us touching him. It’s different now, but it took us years to build that trust. Even now, with other people, he hates getting touched and he hates having people in his space. With Jimin…it’s different. It’s as if Jungkook doesn’t have a single defense around him. He just let Jimin in, immediately.”

Hoseok ponders this. “Maybe Jungkook likes him.”

“Maybe,” Yoongi says. He sounds doubtful. “I think it’s more than that. I mean, we’re all alphas, aren’t we? But Jimin’s an omega. Maybe he fills some part of Jungkook that was missing. Something none of us even realized.”

It feels profound, but Hoseok can’t help the uncomfortable itch under his skin. It’s a mix of two things: one, he wishes that they were enough for Jungkook, to have made everything better for him. It’s selfish, he knows, to wish this, but he can’t help himself. He cares so much for the young alpha that he wishes that it could be enough.

Two, he wonders if they’re even talking about Jungkook anymore.

“You’re saying this as if it matters what our ranks are, when it comes to emotion, to love,” Hoseok disagrees. “That shouldn’t matter. Alphas can form bonds just as strong as any alpha-omega pairing.”

“I know,” Yoongi says. His lips pull up into a small smile, something reassuring, and Hoseok realizes he’s gotten a little too worked up. “I’m not saying you’re wrong, Hoseok. But we’ve talked about it before, Jungkook’s…abuse. It must have come from an alpha. Multiple alphas. I can’t see him trusting alphas, letting them get close to him in the same way he might let an omega in. It shouldn’t matter, but to Jungkook it does. Do you see what I’m saying?”

Hoseok nods, wrapping his arms around himself in a facsimile of a hug, in an attempt to self-soothe, almost. Talking about Jungkook’s life before them still makes him feel like he might cry.

“I get it,” he says softly. “So we’ll like this omega, Park Jimin. He’ll be good for Jungkook, I hope. And if he isn’t…”

Yoongi’s smile is sharper now, and Hoseok shivers at the sight of it.

☾

“Today might be a day that I choose to sing. I’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff, recently, but I don’t know if it’s anything worth sharing right now. I don’t know how to put a lot of it into words. I guess that makes me a pretty bad host, here on Golden Closet. The whole point is for me to speak myself, to talk about my story. But in the end, even that can be too difficult to do. So today, I’ll sing instead. The song I picked…it’s for my angel. It’s for him. If he ever listens to my story, I want him to know how important he is to me. I want him to know that I never forgot him.”

I’m lying on the moon
My dear, I’ll be there soon
It’s a quiet, starry place
Time’s we’re swallowed up
In space we’re here a million miles away

There’s things I wish I knew
There’s no thing I’d keep from you
It’s a dark and shiny place
But with you my dear
I’m safe and we’re a million miles away

We’re lying on the moon
It’s a perfect afternoon
Your shadow follows me all day
Making sure that I’m
Okay and we’re a million miles away

☽

Jimin becomes such a fixture in his life that Jungkook can almost forget what it was like before him.

They don’t get to meet up too often, because of Jungkook’s work schedule, but they do go out for lunch together as Jimin’s thank you to him for the night they had met (again).

He’s early to the restaurant, but by now his punctuality is instinctual after years of Alpha Guard training. He loiters by the door of the restaurant, his black hair tucked into a black beanie, and his fingers warm in wool gloves. A few flurries swirl around in the cold winter air, biting at Jungkook’s cheeks.

He picks up Jimin’s scent before the smaller omega comes into view, blond hair bouncing with each step as he makes his way over to Jungkook. Jimin looks stunning; he smiles brightly up at Jungkook as he comes to a stop in front of the alpha.

“Hi again.”

“Hi,” Jungkook says. The tip of Jimin’s nose is pink, and so are the tops of his ears. “Let’s go in?”

He follows Jimin into the restaurant, and they’re seated at a table in the corner. The restaurant is small, and the table is even smaller, so that Jimin’s feet end up between Jungkook’s own outstretched legs, the sides of their legs bumping. “Sorry,” Jimin says, but Jungkook shrugs. It doesn’t bother him.

“The food is really good here,” Jimin tells him, after their food arrives. “I found this place when I first moved to the area. I think I’ve come here once a week since.”

“Did you move here from far away?” Jungkook asks, curious.

“Well, I moved to the City a few years ago,” Jimin tells him. “But I lived in a different part of the city. I moved to this area like two months ago because I didn’t like my old apartment, or the area. And one of my neighbours was really rude. She was this older omega who had a problem with literally everything I did. It just got to be too much, eventually.”

“Your Pack Alpha didn’t do anything?”

Jimin scraps his fork along the bottom of his plate to pick up the sauce. “I didn’t exactly tell my Pack Alpha.”

Jungkook’s surprised. “Why not?” And then he pauses. “Sorry, this isn’t any of my business…”

“No, it’s okay,” Jimin says. “My Pack Alpha, or, my old Pack Alpha, he lives in the town I grew up in. I kind of…moved to the city with the intention of finding a new pack. Something to call my own. So I’m kind of Pack Alpha-less right now.”

“Oh,” Jungkook says, and Jimin laughs.

“Does that surprise you?”

“A little,” Jungkook admits. “I thought that with your…background, you’d stay with your pack.”

“So you know who I am,” Jimin says.

Yes, Jungkook thinks. “My friend told me who you were,” he tells Jimin.

“Yeah?” Jimin asks. “What did he say?”

“That I’d have to be an elite alpha to get to know you.”

Jimin bursts into giggles, and under the table, his leg presses against Jungkook’s. “I promise that’s not true,” he says. “I’m just a regular omega. Nothing special.”

“I don’t think that’s true either,” Jungkook murmurs, pressing his own leg back against Jimin’s. The omega’s smile turns soft, and Jungkook wishes he could take a picture of Jimin now, beautiful under the gentle lighting of the restaurant, cheeks flushed a healthy pink and his eyes sparkling like there are a million tiny little stars in his irises.

By the time they leave the restaurant, the light flurries have descended into blustering wind and large snowflakes, and the sky is so grey it feels like evening rather than mid-afternoon. The wind is so strong that Jimin teeters on the steps of the restaurant for a moment, before Jungkook reaches out to steady him.

“I’ll drive you home,” Jungkook says, pulling Jimin close so the omega can hear him. There’s no way he’d let Jimin walk home in this weather.

“Okay,” Jimin agrees quickly, shoving his hands into his pocket and following behind Jungkook to his car, because Jungkook’s larger body was at least some protection against the wind.

Jungkook immediately turns on the heater once they get in, and Jimin peels off his mittens so he can lean forward and warm his fingers on the vents.

“Make a right out of the parking lot,” Jimin tells him.

He follows Jimin’s directions all the way back to his apartment building, pulling into the guest parking lot and shutting off the engine. “You should come up,” Jimin says shyly. “I still have your scarf to give back to you.”

Jungkook nods, unbuckling his seatbelt and sliding out of the car. He doesn’t really care about his scarf, he just likes the excuse to stay with Jimin. He doesn’t want to leave yet.

Jimin lives on the seventh floor of the building, and as soon as Jungkook walks into the lobby, he can tell the place is much fancier than his own apartment. The building is well-maintained, and the doors of each apartment are far apart, hinting at the grandeur inside each apartment.

Jimin unlocks the door and steps into his apartment, his voice trailing off at the lights and the sound of the TV. Jungkook swiftly steps in beside him, alert.

“Hello?” Jimin calls out. The TV shuts off, and then a beta comes around the corner and steps into the entranceway. “Taehyung!”

The beta is tall, slender, beautiful. Even more striking are his heterochromatic eyes; one eye is a warm honey brown, the other is a deep gold. He’s frowning, but it doesn’t detract from how stunning he is.

“What are you doing here?” Jimin asks, confusion evident in his voice.

“Waiting for you,” Taehyung says. His eyes flicker between Jimin and Jungkook, and he moves closer. His arms are crossed over his chest, and he hasn’t stopped frowning.

“This is Jungkook,” Jimin introduces. “You know, the alpha who came to my rescue?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, something flat in his tone of voice. “The alpha with the golden eyes who saved you when you were being followed. I remember.”

“…okay,” Jimin draws out, evidently perplexed by Taehyung’s foul mood. He turns to Jungkook. “This is Taehyung, my best friend.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jungkook says.

Taehyung scoffs, and doesn’t say a word.

“Tae!” Jimin exclaims in disapproval. The beta still doesn’t budge. Jimin huffs, and then looks back up at Jungkook.  “Anyways, let me get you that scarf, Jungkookie.”

Jungkook nods, but he doesn’t take his eyes off of Taehyung. The beta is openly glaring at him now, not even bothering to hide his distaste, holding his ground in the entranceway, as if to block Jungkook from coming into the apartment any further.

Jimin disappears down the hall, and then silence falls between Jungkook and Taehyung. Neither of them bothers to fill the quiet, and then Jimin returns, holding the black scarf in his small hands. He glances between them, and then hands the scarf to Jungkook.

“You have your scarf,” Taehyung’s voice cuts through the silence like a knife. “Leave.”

“Taehyung,” Jimin says warningly. “Stop it. You’re being weird.”

“No, you’re being weird,” Taehyung snaps. “You barely know this alpha, why are you inviting him up to your place? I don’t trust him.”

“Taehyung, you’re not making any sense,” Jimin argues. “Why are you acting like this?”

Jungkook shifts his gaze between them, uncomfortable at being caught in the middle of an argument. “Maybe I should go,” he says quietly, to Jimin.

“No, Jungkook, you don’t have to,” Jimin says, but then Taehyung’s moving forward, a soft growl vibrating from his throat.

“Yeah, you should go,” he says to Jungkook. He steps between Jimin and Jungkook, and the omega stumbles back a few steps. Jungkook flickers his eyes over the beta’s shoulder to Jimin, but then Taehyung shoves at his chest. “I said, fucking leave!”

And then Jungkook backs out of the apartment, despite Jimin’s protests. He knew this had been a bad idea from the start. There was no place for someone like him to be a part of Jimin’s life.

He makes it back to his car, and it isn’t until he’s stepping into his own apartment that he registers the scent of cinnamon and sugar coming off his scarf, now saturated in Jimin’s scent after weeks around his throat.

☾

“Antipathy. That’s today’s word. Antipathy.

Antipathy is a fancy word to describe something so reviled. It means an object of natural aversion or habitual dislike. Antipathy. It should be my name. It can go with all the others I’ve received in my life.

Maybe you’re thinking I’m asking for sympathy. Maybe you’re thinking that I’m being dramatic. I’m not, I promise you. Antipathy is a word that describes my whole life; I’ve always been shunned. It wasn’t until I was fifteen that I realized it wasn’t normal, and still, now, I expect it. The rejection. The revulsion.

Are some people born to be avoided? To be abandoned? I try not to think like that, but I can’t help but wonder. Why does the same cycle perpetuate, over and over? Why can’t I escape it?”

☽

Jungkook’s next big assignment for the Alpha Guard falls midway through March. It’s a patrol, including accompanying an omega from the Mages to complete their own duties, while offering protection. Usually, he’s only a substitute on these patrols, when the regular guard can’t make it. But now he’s been asked to fill a maternity leave for the next few months and Jungkook brightens at the news.

He likes these assignments best; he gets paid a lot more, but his duties are light compared to some of his other tasks. Patrols like this, while accompanying a Mage, is so easy he could do it in his sleep. The only difference with this assignment is the inclusion of another alpha, this one from the University. The briefing says that it’s part of a research project about the Mages and their moon magic. If anything, Jungkook thinks it might make his job easier, having another alpha around.

He pulls up to the Palace of the Mages, and expansive building of towering columns and pink marble. It’s as old as the Alpha Guard headquarters, though it is much fancier. It’s mysterious too, because only omegas are usually allowed passed the first few rooms, into the interior of the Palace where the secrets of moon magic are kept.

When he steps out of the car, he’s surprised at the sight of Jimin waiting for him near the entrance. He knew Jimin worked as a Mage, but he didn’t know Jimin did patrols. It makes sense, now that he thinks about it. Jimin comes from a long line of omegas, so his moon magic would be strong. There’s an alpha beside him, presumably the one from the University, but Jungkook’s eyes remain on the omega.

“Jungkook!” Jimin steps away from the alpha, taking few steps closer until Jungkook reaches him. “I didn’t know you’d be coming with us.”

“I didn’t know you worked the patrols,” Jungkook replies.

The alpha from the University steps forward. He’s short and stocky, with dark features. “Hi,” he says, one hand gripping his duffel bag. “I’m Doyoung. You’re from the Alpha Guard?”

“Yep,” Jungkook says. He reaches down to grab Jimin’s bag before the omega can get his hands on it. “Jungkook, at your service.”

“Great,” Doyoung says. He follows Jungkook back to the Jeep he’d borrowed from the Alpha Guard, sliding his bag in beside Jungkook’s and Jimin’s. “How many of these patrols have you done?”

Jungkook shrugs. “Quite a few.”

“Perfect.” He watches Jungkook closes the trunk. “So you know how to stay out of our way then.”

Jungkook raises an eyebrow, and Jimin lets out a tiny noise of protest. “Sure,” Jungkook says. “I’ll be nothing more than your shadow.”

Doyoung accepts this, but Jimin doesn’t look happy. He looks up at Jungkook, brows drawn together. “Jungkook…”

“C’mon, Jimin,” Jungkook says, moving around the side of the car to the passenger side. “Get in. We have a long way to drive.”

“You’re giving the front seat to the omega?” Doyoung blurts out. “Jimin, you should sit in the back.”

“What? No,” Jimin says dismissively. He moves closer to Jungkook, climbing into the passenger seat. “I don’t want to sit in the back.”

Doyoung looks at Jungkook as if the alpha should help him. “You heard him,” Jungkook shrugs, and then he closes Jimin’s door. “Get in the car, Doyoung-ssi. Or I’ll leave you behind.”

“This is a fucking joke,” Doyoung mutters, once he’s settled into the backseat of the car. He must mean to say it quietly, but Jungkook hears it anyway.

Jungkook flicks his eyes up to meet Doyoung’s gaze in the rear-view mirror. “No, what you said to Jimin was a fucking joke. Don’t disrespect him again.”

Doyoung frowns in dissatisfaction, lips turned downward in distaste, but he doesn’t say anything more. Next to Jungkook, in the passenger seat, Jimin is quiet, but he does reach over and tug on Jungkook’s sleeve. When Jungkook glances at him, Jimin smiles.

The cabin is a few hours south-west of the City, built near the border of the territory. It’s fifteen minutes from the rune site that Jimin needs to visit to refresh the moon magic that maintained the illusion that prevented humans from trespassing onto their land. It’s a two-day patrol; day one for Jimin to renew the magic, and day two to make sure the magic was stable enough to hold for the next year.

By the time they arrive, the sun is setting in the distance. Sunlight streams between the trees into the yard that surrounds the tiny cabin. Beyond that, forest grows around them on all sides, with two trails leading away – the road they’d driven in on, and the path leading away from the back of the cabin to the rune site.

The cabin is remote, in the middle of the forest, far away from the City, but Jungkook feels at home. He’s always felt at home here.

The cabin’s been locked since the last pair that passed through a year earlier, and it’s a little stuffy and dusty. Jimin goes to open a window and turn on the lights, and then Doyoung looks around the tiny cabin with a look of clear distaste.

“This is it?”

“Yes,” Jimin tells him. “It’s perfectly adequate, Doyoung-ssi. We only need it for the weekend. I think it’s homey.”

Doyoung doesn’t look convinced. “With how much money the Mages get from our leaders, you’d think they’d invest in these…places. To make them more suitable for living. I expected something better than…this.”

Jimin lets out a frustrated breath, and then he turns to Jungkook, seemingly done with that conversation. “Is there anything else we need to grab from the car?”

“I’ll get it, it’s not much,” Jungkook says. “Why don’t you get set up in here?”

He heads out to get the cooler of food provided by the Alpha Guard and Mages for their patrol, and when he heads back in, he can tell another problem has arisen. Doyoung looks annoyed, but Jimin looks downright pissed.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks, dumping the cooler down onto the small wooden kitchen table.

“There are only two beds,” Jimin tells him. “Since there are normally only two people on these patrols.”

Oh, Jungkook thinks. “You’ll get a bed, Jimin-ah,” he reassures the omega.

“And I’ll take the other,” Doyoung cuts in. “I don’t understand what’s so difficult to understand about this. You don’t mind sleeping on the couch, right Jungkook-ssi? You should be used to it, you’re a part of the Alpha Guard.”

Jimin looks even angrier, but honestly, Jungkook’s slept in worse places.

“I can sleep on the couch,” he says quietly. “I don’t mind.”

“Great!” Doyoung claps his hands together. “With that settled, why don’t you get started on dinner, Jimin?” And before Jimin can answer with whatever spitfire response is behind his flaming glare, Doyoung’s gone, retreated into one of the bedrooms.

“God, I can’t stand him,” Jimin hisses, moving over to Jungkook’s side, his little feet stomping on the floor. “I’ve had to work with him on his research for months, and he still treats me like a stupid little pup. That’s all he sees, when he looks at omegas. And I’m not even good at cooking!”

“I am,” Jungkook tells him. Jimin’s tirade stutters to a halt, and he blinks a few times.

“Huh?”

“I’m good at cooking,” Jungkook says. “Do you want to help me make dinner?”

And then Jimin’s fire dies out completely, and he huffs out a small laugh, his eyes crinkling into crescents. “You’re really good at that.”

“Good at what?”

“At making everything better,” Jimin murmurs. He follows Jungkook into the small kitchen area. “You really don’t mind making dinner?”

“No,” Jungkook shakes his head. “I’d rather eat something I made, anyway. I can teach you a little bit too, if you want.”

“Yeah, okay,” Jimin smiles. “I’d like that.” He pulls out one of the checkered aprons and ties it around his slender waist, before tossing a second apron to Jungkook. “What should I do first, Alpha?”

Dinner becomes an annoyance, if only because of Doyoung’s incessant need to condescend to both Jimin and Jungkook. He tries to explain the schedule he’s created for visiting the rune site, despite the fact that’s he’s never been on a patrol and he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He keeps trying to get Jungkook to agree with him, under some pretense of them both being alphas, but Jungkook doesn’t bother to answer him. Instead, Jungkook retreats into silence because he doubts that he can argue with stupidity.

Eventually Doyoung gets annoyed at Jungkook’s lack of response, and snaps at him. “Did the Alpha Guard recruit you because you don’t have a single thought in your empty head? You just sit there and take orders, huh? Then listen to me now. We’re following this schedule-” He jabs at the map. “-and nothing else.”

Silence descends in the room, and Jimin’s gaze darts between the two alphas. He looks upset, and beneath the table, Jungkook feels Jimin’s foot nudge against his own, as if any of this bothered Jungkook in the slightest. Jungkook leans back in his chair and looks Doyoung dead in the eye. “No.”

Doyoung looks incredulous. “Excuse me?”

“Doyoung,” Jimin cuts in then, still pressing his foot against Jungkook’s. “The Alpha Guard and the Mages have been doing these patrols for centuries. We know what we’re doing.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Doyoung says. He’s so patronizing that it makes Jungkook’s skin itch; his wolf is snarling just beneath the surface, waiting to prove just how much more superior he is to Doyoung. “I’m just saying that things can be improved. But I wouldn’t expect you to know about this, Jimin-ah. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

Jimin drops his spoon down into his bowl, and the clang against the dish is so loud that Doyoung jumps a little bit. Jungkook flicks his eyes to Jimin, taking in the deep frown.

“I’m going out onto the porch,” Jimin announces.

“What, right now?” Jungkook asks. The sun has already set, and so the temperature has descended to just above freezing.

“Yep,” Jimin says tightly. He pushes his chair back and dumps his bowl into the sink. “Are you coming?” he asks Jungkook.

The alpha nods, and neither of them look at Doyoung as they move out onto the porch.

“He’s so annoying!” Jimin snaps, once the door is closed behind them. He sits down heavily on the wooden porch steps, and Jungkook drops down beside him. Jimin isn’t dressed warm enough for the cool night, so Jungkook sits closer than he normally would to offer the omega some warmth.

“He’s been like this the whole time?”

“Ever since we started working together a few months ago,” Jimin tells him. He’s calmed down a little bit, now that they’re away from Doyoung. He shuffles closer to Jungkook, eliminating the scant few centimetres of space between them, and then leans into the alpha. “It’s always been like this. Moon magic is an omega thing, but only alphas from the University get grants to study it. Do you know how many omegas apply each year for research grants? But the whole system is fucked, they still think alphas know best. I really hoped that Doyoung would be different, that he’d be willing to listen to me, but he’s just like the rest of them. I’ve put up with his bullshit for months, and my name won’t even appear in his stupid study. He wouldn’t even have this study if it wasn’t for me!”

“Why didn’t you complain?” Jungkook asks.

“I did,” Jimin says glumly. “But complaints never go anywhere unless they’re actually serious. Like, if Doyoung assaulted me or something. But even then, the University might not take it seriously. It’s just how it is, for omegas.”

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook says, genuinely.

“Don’t apologize,” Jimin says dismissively. “It’s not your fault the system is fucked.”

He falls silent then, and they settle into the quiet, leaning into each other and Jimin’s cheek pressed to Jungkook’s shoulder. Above them, the full moon is so bright that it illuminates the yard around the cabin. Just beyond the trees, it is pitch black in the forest. In the distance, an owl hoots, disrupting the quiet stillness of the early night.

“We have to leave soon,” Jungkook says apologetically, eventually, because they have their duties to fulfill. He shifts in place to gently dislodge Jimin from how he’s curled into Jungkook. “Are you feeling a little better?”

Jimin straightens up. “Yeah,” he says gently. “Yeah, I am. I’m glad you’re here, with me, and not some other guard. I don’t know if they would have taken me seriously, or if they would have agreed with Doyoung. I’m happy it’s you.”

Jungkook shrugs, but he feels pleased. “I’ll always be on your side.”

Jimin laughs a little bit. “And I’ll always be on yours,” he says warmly. And then he stretches his arms above his head, grunting a little bit, and lifts himself up to standing. He turns back to offer Jungkook a hand to get back up, and the alpha takes it, marveling a little bit at Jimin’s small hands, at the smooth skin of his palm.

Jungkook waits by the door with Jimin beside him. Doyoung is still scrambling around in his room, and Jimin exhales noisily in annoyance.

“I wish we could just leave,” Jimin murmurs, the pout on his lips making everything sound that much cuter. Jungkook shrugs.

“I think he’d be even worse if we left him behind.”

Jimin giggles then, turning to face Jungkook. “You don’t like him either, huh?”

Jungkook glances towards Doyoung’s bedroom to make sure he’s still occupied, and then he quickly shakes his head.

“He’s…irritating,” Jungkook says. “And I’ve only known him for a day. I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you, these passed few months.”

“Not fun,” Jimin grumbles. And then Doyoung’s finally ready to leave, and he makes his way over to them.

“Alright,” he says pompously, zipping up his coat. “I’m ready to go. I can’t believe we have to do this at night, but if we must…”

Jimin scoffs. “It’s moon magic. It’s most potent if we renew the runes when it’s a full moon.”

“If you say so,” Doyoung acquiesces, disbelievingly, and Jungkook swiftly moves to open the front door before Jimin can snap at Doyoung again. Doyoung’s been nothing but a minor annoyance for Jungkook, so far, but to Jimin he’s been for worse. And Jungkook thinks, why has Doyoung been able to get away with it for so long? Why hadn’t anyone else stepped in?

They leave the cabin behind as they start along the path that trails away from the back of the cabin, into the deep blackness of the forest. The trees grow together so densely that the moonlight is barely able the penetrate to the forest floor. It’s eerie, silent, and Jungkook is more alert because of it.

He’s easily able to discern his surroundings, even in the pitch black of the night, because he is an alpha and because he’s been trained for it. His eyes are better than most, tracking the path they walk and effortlessly side-stepping obstacles in their path. Doyoung should be able to do the same, even without the training, and yet Jungkook can hear his complaints and his struggle as he follows in Jungkook’s stead.

Jimin, as an omega, does not have the same advantage, but he does have his moon magic. It would always guide him back home, no matter how lost he was in the backwoods of the forest. But without Jungkook’s eyesight, Jimin cannot stick the path without a guide. Normally, with other omegas, Jungkook would let them walk close enough that they would not get separated, pointing out the muddy spots or the rocks along the trail.

With Jimin, it’s different. Jimin takes his hand almost immediately upon their entrance into the forest, sliding his small hand into Jungkook’s calloused one, fingers curling tightly in an embrace. Jungkook does not point out the obstacles; instead, he grips Jimin’s lithe waist to lift him easily over the muddy spots and the pools of water. Jungkook effortlessly climbs over fallen logs and then turns back to help Jimin down with two powerful hands on his hips. Jimin’s safety is so important to him that Jungkook thinks nothing of going so far beyond his duties. He knows Jimin doesn’t mind, because Jimin clings to him just as fiercely.

“Why couldn’t you create a wider path so that we could drive to each site?” Doyoung asks, struggling to keep pace. Jungkook rolls his eyes as he lifts Jimin over another muddy spot, keeping the omega close.

“We can’t because of the moon magic,” Jimin says. “You know this, Doyoung. The sites have to remain pure.”

“Bullshit!” Doyoung says, breathless in their walk forwards. “Has there ever been a study that’s said this?”

“The Mages set that rule,” Jimin snaps. “And the Mages know what’s best.”

“So, there isn’t a real study,” Doyoung says. “See? This is exactly why the Mages need us. There are so many things you don’t know!”

Jimin looks about ready to burst from anger, so Jungkook taps on his shoulder to get his attention.

“The rune site is just up ahead.”

The path opens up to a clearing, the trees above them parting to allow the moonlight to stream down into the grove. In the middle, there is a rock formation, smooth stones that have been carved and placed in a particular sequence to amplify the moon magic that hides them from the humans.

Jimin exhales, his shoulders slumping as he lets go of his irritation, and he offers Jungkook a small smile. “Please keep him away from me while I work.”

“Of course,” Jungkook says. “You won’t even notice that we’re here.”

Jimin moves into the clearing. He crouches down by the stones, and Jungkook watches, just on the other side of the tree line. Like Jimin had alluded to earlier, these clearings had to be kept pure, especially when it came to the runes. It was an omega’s job, and only an omega’s job. No alpha or beta could disrupt a Mage while they worked.

He scents the cold air, and it is clear of any surrounding predators. It is only them, in this forest. And then Jungkook moves.

He’s been tracking Doyoung’s sluggish pace for the entirety of their journey. The other alpha is still a fair way behind them, struggling up the hill that leads to the clearing. Jungkook strips out of his shirt and pants, dropping his clothes at the base of the tree and then he shifts into his wolf form.

He takes a moment to adjust to the new perspective; his four powerful legs, his sensitive nose, his ears picking up even the faintest sounds of the tree leaves rustling high above them.

He moves away from the clearing, backtracking down the path towards Doyoung so that Jungkook can take care of the other alpha the way that someone else should have done months ago.

He watches Doyoung crest the hill, panting in exertion. Jungkook’s body is so big that he blocks the trail forwards completely. Still, Doyoung does not notice the ominous black wolf until he is practically upon it.

Jungkook releases a low, guttural growl.

Doyoung startles so bad that his weakened legs collapse from beneath him and he falls to the ground, scrabbling at stones and mud to back away from Jungkook as the monstrous alpha snarls down at him, the rough, raspy noise reverberating in the surrounding black forest. Jungkook’s wolf pelt is onyx too, so that he blends seamlessly into the darkness like he is one of their shadows come to life. He glares down at Doyoung’s trembling form from out of that abyss, his golden eyes glowing like two brilliant gemstones. He is demonic, monstrous, the symbol of death.

“Wha-” Doyoung barely breathes, fear souring his scent. “What is this…?”

Jungkook snaps at the other alpha, lunging forward, and Doyoung flinches, releasing a terrified noise, one arm coming up to block his face.

And then Jungkook lets his jaw drop open to bare his razor-sharp teeth, the canines so long they are like claws to rip through flesh.

Doyoung’s hyperventilating, curled up on the forest floor, staring up at Jungkook like he’s never seen anything more horrifying, like he is witnessing a nightmare come to life. Jungkook leans down, his teeth scraping against the delicate skin of Doyoung’s neck as he sniffs around the column of the alpha’s throat, at his most vulnerable points.

Fear clouds Doyoung’s scent even more now, and Jungkook can almost taste the blood that pounds beneath the thin skin of Doyoung’s neck.

“Please,” Doyoung whimpers. “Please, there’s an omega there, just in that clearing. You’ll want him more than an alpha, I promise you.”

And Jungkook abruptly shifts.

Doyoung gasps in shock, at Jungkook’s human form suddenly towering above him, powerfully built, naked, unashamed. “Jungkook?”

“What the fuck did you just say?”

“I…I thought you were a lone wolf,” Doyoung breathes. He sounds shocked still, and he moves as if to get up off the ground. “I didn’t realize it was you. Why can’t I smell you?”

Jungkook kneels, pressing a hand down against Doyoung’s chest, not letting the other alpha up. His fingers dig into Doyoung’s chest, and the other alpha grunts at the pain.

“You were giving Jimin up,” Jungkook tells him, very softly. “You thought I was a lone wolf, and you were going to send me to Jimin.”

“Well,” Doyoung says, still rattled. “You weren’t a lone wolf, so that doesn’t matter.”

“It does,” Jungkook says. The anger is flaming hot under his skin, racing through his veins. Jungkook’s shifting was only meant to scare Doyoung a little bit, to warn him off Jimin. But this, now, this was something more. This was a threat to the omega working dutifully in the rune site above them, ignorant to the two alphas fighting for dominance on the dark forest floor.

“Get the fuck off me,” Doyoung snaps, trying and failing to push Jungkook’s arm off of his chest. “Be a good little soldier, Jungkook. You’re here to guard us. If you don’t listen to me, I’ll report you to your superiors.”

Jungkook huffs out a dark laugh, pressing against Doyoung’s chest with one hand and reaching up with the other to clutch at his jaw, fingers pressing into the skin. It must hurt, because Doyoung twists in his grip, trying to escape it.

“I’m here to protect Jimin,” Jungkook tells him. “Not you. I don’t give a fuck about you. You could get lost in this forest, wander around in the dark all night calling for me, and I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t come looking for you. I’d sleep in that cabin with Jimin safe in his bed, and I wouldn’t lose a wink about it. So don’t be so cocky, Doyoung-ssi. Don’t think that you can threaten me like that. It won’t work.”

Doyoung gapes at him, stunned into silence for the first time, and Jungkook is glad for the peace. “Also, I don’t like the way you talk to Jimin. Fix it, before I fix it for you, yeah?” He releases his hold on Doyoung’s jaw, only to hit his cheek, two times, and then Jungkook gets back up so that he can head back to the clearing to keep an eye on Jimin. Behind him, Doyoung scrambles to his feet, but he remains silent.

Jungkook’s made his point.

Jimin works for a little over an hour, renewing each rune and ensuring that the moon magic he invokes works the way it is supposed to. By the time he rejoins them, the moon has shifted its place high above them in the night sky. Jungkook is sitting at the base of a tree as he waits for the omega to finish his work. Doyoung sits against another tree, and he hasn’t spoken since Jungkook’s warning.

Jimin is a little flushed and smiling delightedly, almost drunk off the high of his moon magic. Jungkook’s seen the omega Mages like this after every invocation of their moon magic, so he’s used to it. But he can’t help but think Jimin looks especially pretty, all flushed and pink, with a healthy glow on his cheeks and sparkling eyes. He stumbles back to them, and immediately heads to Jungkook to pull him into a hug.

“Jungkookie!”

“Yeah?” He brushes Jimin’s hair out of his face so he can get a better look at the omega’s eyes. Sometimes omegas can expend too much energy in renewing the runes, and it’s most obvious in their eyes. But Jimin’s eyes, while bright as stars, aren’t bloodshot, so Jungkook can relax again.

“That was fun,” Jimin tells him, whispers it like it’s supposed to be a secret that moon magic can cause euphoria in the omegas who invoke it.

“Oh yeah?” Jungkook asks. He gently takes a hold of Jimin’s arms to release himself from Jimin’s grip, only to turn around and hoist the omega up onto his back. There’s no way he’d trust Jimin to make it back to the cabin on his own two feet, not in this state. He’d probably trip over his shadow or something, and that’s not something Jungkook wants to risk.

Jimin releases a tiny noise of surprise as Jungkook hikes him up onto his back, and his arms come up over Jungkook’s shoulders and his legs wrap around Jungkook’s waist tightly, despite the fact that he murmurs soft protests into Jungkook’s ear. “I’m heavy.”

Jungkook can’t help but laugh; he’s had to carry things far heavier than Jimin in his Alpha Guard training. Jimin’s reassuring weight is nothing compared to that. “You’re not,” he says. He moves off, back down the path, and he hears Doyoung trailing behind, silent now and put in his place.

Jimin curls around his back, resting his chin on his arm so that his mouth is by Jungkook’s ear; this way, he can whisper all sorts of things to Jungkook without Doyoung overhearing. He talks about the runes, about moon magic, about how he can still feel it racing under his skin, tingling down his spine. He says it feels like tiny fireworks are exploding inside him, and then he buries his nose into the junction of Jungkook’s neck and shoulder.

“Your scent is so faint,” Jimin tells him. “But I like it. You smell like a forest, right after it rains. You smell like the spring, like everything coming back to life again. It’s really beautiful, so why is it so faint?”

Jungkook shrugs.

“Hmm,” Jimin murmurs. His breath is warm against Jungkook’s skin, and his plump lips brush Jungkook’s neck, nearly at his scent gland. Jungkook shivers, but still, he is not afraid. He doesn’t need to protect himself from Jimin, from letting the omega get this close. His wolf is content to let Jimin nose around his vulnerable neck. “Maybe your scent isn’t meant for everyone to smell. Maybe it’s only meant for the people who you let get close enough to smell it. Maybe you only want certain people to know your scent. Am I right?”

Jungkook huffs out a small laugh, stepping over the rocks on the trail with ease. “I wish it was that poetic. It’s not. I had an accident, years ago, and it’s affected my scent ever since. So it’s really not so beautiful.”

“I think it is,” Jimin says softly. Jungkook can feel the warmth of Jimin at his back, the heartbeat they share. “Maybe it was an accident, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t think it’s beautiful now. I like your scent,” Jimin tells him again. “I won’t ever forget it.”

And the heat of Jimin pressed along his back must be why he’s feeling so warm, because Jungkook’s face feels flushed, and he thinks he can feel those tiny fireworks Jimin was talking about, exploding inside him too. He wonders if it’s possible for omegas to transfer their reaction to moon magic like this, because he doesn’t know why his heart is suddenly racing in his chest. But it’s not fear; he’s not scared. The feeling is something very soft, and something Jungkook has no name for.

By the time they make it back to the cabin, Jimin is almost asleep on Jungkook’s back, puffs of air escaping his lips and warming Jungkook’s skin. “Jimin-ah,” he calls gently, shifting the omega on his back to wake him up. “We’re back.”

Doyoung passes by them both and heads straight into his room, closing the door firmly behind him. Jungkook frowns, unimpressed, but he lets it slide. He’d rather not have to deal with Doyoung.

Jimin lifts his head from where he’d been resting it against Jungkook’s own, blinking blearily as he looks around the cabin. “Oh,” he says softly. “We’re here.”

He still seems a little out of it, and his knees can’t seem to support his weight when he slides off of Jungkook’s back, so the alpha wraps a strong arm around his waist to keep him upright.

“C’mon,” Jungkook murmurs. “Your bed’s this way.” He leads Jimin into his room and over to the bed, turning the omega so that he can sit on the edge of it. He kneels then, to untie Jimin’s shoes, setting them aside and then looking back up at Jimin from his crouched position.

Jimin is beautiful. His hair is a mess from the wind, sticking up on one side, and he’s still blinking down at Jungkook with bleary, tired eyes. His cheeks are red from the cold, and he’s beautiful.

“Get some sleep, angel,” Jungkook says, because he can’t help himself. Jimin won’t remember this in the morning, so Jungkook allows himself this one moment.

A strange look passes over Jimin’s face, and then Jimin reaches a hand down, pushing Jungkook’s hair out of his face, and his fingertips linger on the pale scar on his left cheek.

“Okay,” Jimin says cutely, dropping his hand. “I’ll see you in the morning, Jungkookie.”

Jungkook pushes himself up and closes the bedroom door behind him on the way out. Back in the main room, it suddenly feels much colder, but it has nothing to do with the winter air outside. Jimin is only on the other side of the door, but he feels so much farther away than that.

Jungkook changes into grey sweatpants and a white shirt, settling into the lumpy couch with a thin blue blanket and the pillow Jimin had dropped on the couch earlier in the evening, before they had left. It’s immediately apparent to him that he won’t sleep well; the couch is old and uneven, the cushioning isn’t very soft, and Jungkook is so big that his feet hang off the end of it. He has to tuck his knees in and curl his body into an awkward angle just so that all of him can fit on the tiny couch.

He shuts his eyes, letting the silence of the forest soothe him to sleep. Only a few minutes pass before he snaps his eyes open; the bedroom door creaks.

He watches Jimin come closer, his bare feet padding against the floor.

“This is stupid,” Jimin whispers, stopping when he reaches Jungkook. He’s seemed to come back to himself, a little bit. “This is so stupid. You shouldn’t have to sleep out here.”

Jungkook pushes himself up, the blanket pooling in his lap. “Jimin?”

“The bed is definitely big enough to fit both of us,” Jimin tells him, and it’s not a suggestion. “Come on.”

He reaches for Jungkook’s hand, pulling on the alpha until Jungkook gets the hint and stands up. Jimin takes the extra pillow with his other hand, and Jungkook has just enough sense to grab the blanket before Jimin’s tugging him into his bedroom and closing the door behind them.

“You need to get proper rest,” Jimin says. “And Doyoung was being an asshole, making you sleep on the couch. Your work is way more important than his!”

“Jimin, I’ve slept in worse places,” Jungkook reassures him.

“So?” Jimin asks. “So what? Just because you’re used to it, doesn’t mean it’s okay!”

“Jimin…”

“The bed is big enough for both of us,” Jimin says again. “Are you comfortable with that? Sharing with me? Are you okay with that?”

“I mean, yeah,” Jungkook nods. “But, are you comfortable with that? I’m an alpha.”

“I know,” Jimin says. “And you’re Jungkook. That means more to me than your rank. Come on.” He tugs at Jungkook’s hand again, climbing onto the bed and Jungkook follows behind him. The bed is pressed against one of the walls, so that Jimin is sandwiched between the wall and Jungkook’s broad form, with the alpha closer to the door and offering Jimin the protection of his body.

“This is much better,” Jimin decides, once they’ve both settled in. Jungkook privately agrees. The bed is way more comfortable than the couch, and Jungkook’s legs aren’t going to cramp.

And then Jimin rolls over onto his side, tucking his two hands under his chin so that he can tilt his head up and look at Jungkook. “Sometimes I get scared, out here in the forest.”

Jungkook blinks down at him, caught off guard by the sudden shift in topic, and then he turns onto his side to face Jimin too. “Why? It’s just a place, like any other. Our wolves like it.”

Jimin nods sleepily. “I know. My omega wants me to shift, to run through the woods,” he yawns, one hand coming up to cover his mouth. “But I can’t help it. I didn’t grow up surrounded by forests. I grew up near the beach, with a lot of open land. One time, when I was a kid, our pack did a big camping trip to reconnect with our wolves. And I got lost.”

Jimin chews on his lower lip, his eyes lowering in embarrassment. “I thought I was going to die, but maybe I was just being dramatic because I was so young. But I was separated from my pack, and I had no idea how to get back,” he looks up at Jungkook then. “Ever since then, I’ve been scared of coming all the way out here, into the forest. I always get so scared that I’ll get lost again, and no one would ever find me. I’d be all alone, forever.”

“I would find you,” Jungkook tells him. He meets Jimin’s startled gaze, tries to convey how serious he is about protecting him from harm. “I’d find you. Of course I’d find you. You don’t ever have to worry about that, not when I’m here.”

And then Jimin smiles, a tiny little thing, cheeks pushing up and his eyes turning up into crescents. “Then I won’t ever go anywhere that you can’t reach me,” Jimin tells him. “If I stay close to you, and if you stay close to me, we’d never be lost. Because we’d have each other.”

“Yeah, we’d have each other,” Jungkook agrees, because his mouth feels too dry to say anything more, because his heart is pounding in his chest, because he feels breathless at the sight of Jimin.

“Promise?” Jimin asks, holding up his hand with his pinky extended.

“I promise,” Jungkook says, wrapping his pinky around Jimin’s smaller one.

Their linked hands fall to the bed together, and neither of them move to let go.

“I’m happy I found you,” Jimin whispers, a secret between them, only meant for Jungkook’s ears.

“Me too,” Jungkook says. For a moment, for a split second, Jungkook thinks about leaning forward to press his lips against Jimin’s. It surprises him, this desire. He doesn’t know where it comes from.

And then the thought disappears, and Jungkook watches Jimin’s eyes flutter shut as the omega falls asleep, soft breathes escaping his plump lips. Jungkook closes his eyes too, and they fall asleep like that, together, their pinkies linked together in that promise.

☾

He’s running through the forest, barefoot, shirtless, the black scars of the wolfsbane poison exposed for the world to see.

He cannot get air into his lungs fast enough. His chest expands and contracts as he stumbles over rocks in his path, the movement of his ribcage violent with each snapping breath. He does not know what he is running from, only that if he stops, he will not escape it.

“I said, fucking LEAVE.”

The voice echoes through the forest, and he tries to outrun it, tries desperately to ignore his bloodied, raw feet, the cramp at his side, the sweat sliding down his back.

The darkness behind him creeps steadily closer, all-consuming, devouring everything in its path.

He must keep running. If he stops, he will be devoured too.

☽

Antipathy (n.) – a natural, basic, or habitual repugnance or aversion; an instinctive contrariety or opposition in feeling; an object of natural aversion or habitual dislike

Chapter Text

If there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live in them. Mine can be no worse than someone else’s.

Star Trek

☽

Hoseok’s favourite season had always been early fall.

He likes the collage of red and orange and yellow leaves. He likes warm coffee shops and long woolen coats. He likes the scents most of all, crisp and clean and subtle.

But it was also the season of deep sleep, of decay, of muted colours signifying the end of life. He wonders if it’s significant, that Yoongi is here now, at the hospital in early fall as everything is beginning to die, but he thinks probably not. Life is rarely so meaningful. Things just happen, and then meaning is only given later. And that meant Hoseok didn’t have to mar his love for fall with what had happened to Yoongi, to bring him here. Instead, Hoseok could make it mean something else. He could think: fall knew to bring Yoongi to me.

The alpha is a year older than him, but his dark eyes are guarded, like he’s witnessed so much that Hoseok hasn’t seen. But Hoseok is a doctor, and he’s seen a lot. Even though he’s only seventeen, and he’s only just begun his training in the spring, he’s prepared himself for this. He has, he swears it.

But then, maybe nothing could have prepared him for Yoongi. For what Yoongi would eventually become to him.

Yoongi used to spend entire days in bed, never once leaving his room despite Hoseok’s insistence for him to move around, to get some fresh air. His gaze and his smile were almost mocking, when Hoseok used to extol the virtues of fresh air, talking about how healing it could be. The window of Yoongi’s hospital room faced out into the yard, and Hoseok knew exactly which one it was – three up and two over. Once, he even spotted Yoongi sitting at his windowsill, staring down at the yard. Hoseok had waved up at him, uncertain if Yoongi could even see him, and then Yoongi had disappeared from view. Hoseok had dropped his hand, embarrassed.

Now, Yoongi comes out to the yard. The weather has turned much cooler and greyer, and none of the other patients liked to come outside. Yoongi is different. He sits on the bench and writes in a leather-bound notebook, and he always does it alone.

“Aren’t you cold?” Hoseok asks. He waits for Yoongi to close his notebook, wrapping the leather string around the cover, before joining him on the bench. He’s brought them both a cup of coffee, and a slice of cake from the coffee stand in the main lobby of the building. When Yoongi had first been brought to the hospital, he was so skinny, unnaturally so, as if he had been sick for a long, long time. He’s put on a lot of weight now, but Hoseok still can’t help but feed him every time they see each other like this.

Yoongi takes the coffee first, warming his palms as he cups it between his hands. He always sits on one side of the bench so that Hoseok can only look at the unblemished side of his face. Hoseok doesn’t know how to tell him the wolfsbane scars don’t bother him. It obviously bothers Yoongi.

“A little,” Yoongi admits. “Thanks for this.” He raises the coffee cup a little bit.

“You’re welcome,” Hoseok says. He huddles into his coat, and he wishes that he had thought to put on something warmer before coming outside. “How was group therapy, yesterday?”

Yoongi lifts an eyebrow, suddenly amused. “Ah, now I know why seonsaengnim sent you out here.”

“Huh?” Hoseok flushes a little bit, feeling caught. “He didn’t send me.”

Yoongi chuckles. “I saw you both talking at the door,” he says, taking a sip of the hot coffee. “And you look nervous. You’re not usually this nervous when you talk to me, so don’t be scared now. I don’t like it.”

“Okay, so he sent me,” Hoseok admits. “He just knows that we have a…relationship, sort of. Because you talk to me. And he’s just wondering why you don’t participate in group therapy.”

Yoongi is silent for a moment. “I don’t know,” he says, finally. “I guess…it still feels weird. To talk to other people about it.”

“You talk to me,” Hoseok points out.

“I like talking to you,” Yoongi tells him. “You’re easy to talk to. I don’t feel embarrassed, or ashamed.” He tilts his head, dark eyes so warm that Hoseok feels himself go pink. “Maybe instead of group therapy I should just talk to you. My daily dose of Hoseok to make me all better.”

“You can’t,” Hoseok blurts out. “I mean, I’m not trained to…to help you like that. All I can do right now is fix this.” He lifts one hand to Yoongi’s face, tracing over the black scars. “That’s all I can do for you.”

Yoongi doesn’t flinch from his touch. His lips quirk upwards, into a small smile. “That’s enough for me,” he tells Hoseok, voice soft and smooth and deep. “I’m happy with just that.”

Hoseok draws his hand back, before he can go any further. Before he forgets himself, before he lets himself get any closer to Yoongi. But Yoongi doesn’t notice. Yoongi’s eyes are soft, his smile is gentle. He walks close beside Hoseok as they make their way back inside, the backs of their hands brushing, and then rips out a sheet of paper from his journal and hands it to Hoseok before the younger alpha has to head off to the staff meeting. At first glance, the mess of words scribbled on paper look like a poem; but then he looks again, and he thinks they might be lyrics.

His supervisor is an old alpha, with greying hair and square glasses. He steeples his hands together as he meets Hoseok’s gaze across the cluttered desk piled high with patient charts.

“Transference,” he says. “Have you heard of it? Have they talked about it with the students?”

“Yes,” Hoseok tells him. He wonders why his supervisor has brought this up. He wonders if it has something to do with Yoongi.

“Many years ago,” his supervisor says. “A patient of mine developed feelings for me. She subconsciously transferred aspects of her relationship with her mate onto me, because I was taking care of her, because I was keeping her safe and healthy, unlike her mate. Our field of work, what we’ve chosen to dedicate our lives to, it’s unlike anything else. We develop a truly unique bond with our patients. We meet people who are at their most vulnerable, who have reached rock bottom. We see them without their armour, without their shine. We see each and every one of their deepest and darkest secrets. And we accept them. To our patients, it can be a godsend. To them, we can become the hand they need to grasp to escape that hell. So we must never forget, when it comes to our patients, that they may push us up onto a pedestal. They may begin to think we are so much more than the simple doctors who come to work each day to make a small difference. They may even believe themselves to be in love with us, because they cannot understand how they could have let themselves become so vulnerable otherwise.” His supervisor leans forward, meets Hoseok’s gaze and holds it. “But it is a lie.”

Hoseok swallows heavily. This has everything to do with Yoongi, he realizes. He’s been too careless; he’s allowed himself to get too close. But it was difficult not to – Hoseok was young, and he was treated with skepticism and doubt from the vast majority of his patients. Only Yoongi liked to have him around, only Yoongi seemed to think he was worth something.

“You understand the inherent power imbalance that exists between a doctor and their patient, don’t you?” his supervisor asks, and Hoseok rears back, as if he’d been struck.

“Of course!” He protests, shocked. “I would never!”

“I know that, Hoseok,” his supervisor says soothingly. “I know you wouldn’t. But our patients may not see it that way. Sometimes inequalities aren’t so apparent. You are the one in the position of power, here. You are the one who has the responsibility to make sure it never goes any farther than a patient and their doctor. Your relationships must only be professional, and never anything else.”

☾

The bass pounds so loudly that Hoseok swears he can feel it jarring his bones with every beat.

Inner Child was his favourite club, though he didn’t get to come as often as he’d liked. At twenty-five, Hoseok fell into a weird in-between demographic for club-goers. He’d stopped going out for a while because he had moved on from the clubs he’d liked when he was nineteen, and because he didn’t like any of the clubs geared towards an older crowd. Inner Child was different.

There’s something about Inner Child that almost feels like it was made for Hoseok. The sheer elegance of it, the luxurious details, the refined sophistication. Hoseok feels so comfortable here; he feels like he can let go of each and every one of his inhibitions.

He’s tipsy off three vodka sodas, hair a mess of curls, his shirt clinging to his sweaty skin. Still, he dances in the middle of the club, hands above his head, hips never missing a beat.

He knows he’s being watched. He can feel heated eyes on his body, and he likes it. He craves it. He’s so mad, so pissed off at Yoongi, that he wants to do something to feel good about himself. He wants someone to desire him.

“Hey, beautiful.”

He twirls around in place, at the sound of the deep voice that sends a wave of heat down his spine. He shivers at the slender form of the beta standing before him, tall and strong, features so unique that Hoseok is sure he must be a model. He looks like he belongs here, surrounded by such luxury and elegance to match his aristocratic features.

And then Hoseok knows he must be much tipsier than he thought, because his eyes are playing tricks on him. He knows the beta’s eyes must be a honey brown, but he keeps seeing one eye as gold instead. He shakes his head a little bit, as if to clear his vision, but he loses his balance and stumbles over his feet.

“Careful,” the beta warns, reaching out with a hand to steady Hoseok. When he looks back up, he still sees one brown eye and one gold eye. What the fuck had the bartender put in his drink?

“What’s your name, beautiful?” The beta asks and Hoseok abruptly loses that train of thought. It fades into nothingness as instead a heat rises to Hoseok’s cheeks; how can someone who looks like this beta think Hoseok is anything close to beautiful?

“I’m Hoseok,” he says.

“Taehyung,” the beta offers his hand, and Hoseok slides his own into a surprisingly firm grip, as Taehyung uses the grasp on his hand to pull him closer. “I saw you dancing, from over at the bar. I had to come join you, before someone else got here first.”

Hoseok can’t help but laugh. “No one else would have asked me to dance,” he reassures Taehyung. “I’m just having fun. Nothing that exciting.”

Taehyung rakes his eyes up the length of Hoseok’s body, and the alpha squirms a little bit, feels a warm flush work its way down his neck. “Yeah?” Taehyung murmurs. “Let’s have some fun then.”

And then Taehyung grips his waist and pulls him in close, and Hoseok positively melts into the heat of his body, eyes catching on the way Taehyung’s left the top buttons of his silk shirt undone, showing off the golden skin of his chest and the way his muscles flex as he draws Hoseok to his body.

It’s so hot and it’s so erotic, the way Taehyung’s hands grip his waist, the way Taehyung throws his head back, revealing the strong lines of his throat. Hoseok feels desirable, he feels worth the attention of this attractive beta, he feels good.

And then he feels his phone buzzing in his pocket. He shouldn’t answer it, especially because he has Taehyung’s body pressed up against him, but Hoseok can’t ignore his phone. He can’t ignore his friends if they need him. Even if it’s almost midnight on a Friday night.

He pulls his phone out, drawing back from Taehyung a little bit, peering down at the screen. And then he does a double-take.

Where are you? Yoongi’s message reads. Why aren’t you at home?

Hoseok frowns, and grits his teeth together. “Asshole,” he whispers, unconsciously. He’s stopped dancing completely now, fingers tapping at the screen maybe a little too hard.

It’s none of your business.

“Your ex?” Taehyung asks, and Hoseok blinks up at him.

“Oh,” Hoseok says, flushing, sliding his phone back into his pocket. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

Taehyung shrugs. “It’s okay, I get it. Sometimes you’re just trying to enjoy your life, and someone shitty comes to disrupt it. I’ve been there.”

“I’m sorry,” Hoseok says again. “And, no, it wasn’t an ex.”

Taehyung is silent for a moment. “Your boyfriend…?”

Hoseok’s eyes widen. “No!” He protests. “No, I’m totally single.” And then he realizes what he’s just said, and flushes, laughing a little awkwardly.

“Good,” Taehyung murmurs, voice dark with promises, and Hoseok flushes for a different reason.

He’s jostled from behind, suddenly, because they’re both standing still in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by swaying bodies. The girl dancing next to them shoots them both a dirty look.

“Maybe we should continue this somewhere else,” Taehyung says, taking Hoseok’s hand in a firm grip and leading him out of the mass of bodies and towards the bar. He lifts two fingers to the bartender, when he meets her gaze, and a few moments later two glasses slide across the bar top towards them. Hoseok watches, open-mouthed.

“How…how did she know what you wanted?”

Taehyung takes both glasses and hands one to Hoseok. He takes a sip, the refreshing taste of mint and lime mixed with gin and tonic bursting across his tongue. He swipes at his bottom lip, and watches Taehyung’s eyes follow the movement.

“Does it make me more mysterious if I don’t tell you?” Taehyung asks, leaning against the bar rail. Hoseok takes another sip of his drink because the beta is just too attractive and it’s making him flustered. The alcohol burns on the way down, spreading heat throughout his body, simmering just underneath his skin. “Let’s see how many pieces of the puzzle you can get tonight.”

“Puzzle?” Hoseok asks, lifting an eyebrow in question.

Taehyung’s lips quirk up into a faint smirk. “I have to keep your attention on me somehow, don’t I?” He lifts a hand, waving his finger in a small circle carelessly. “You don’t seem to realize just how many eyes you had on you when you were dancing.”

“Maybe I wanted to be seen,” Hoseok tells him. “Maybe I wanted someone to look.”

“I’m looking,” Taehyung says. His hand comes to grip at Hoseok’s waist, pulling the alpha closer again. “I can’t take my eyes off of you.”

Hoseok lets the beta pull him in, shivers at the heat of his palm on Hoseok’s waist. He puts his empty glass back on the bar counter, and he tries to come up with some way to ask this beta to take him home without sounding too desperate, without revealing himself too soon. He wants Taehyung to ask him first, he wants Taehyung to show him how desperate he is for Hoseok.

But before he can do that, his phone buzzes again.

He should ignore it, he really should, but that’s not Hoseok. “I’m sorry,” he says softly, pulling out his phone again, and – it’s Yoongi.

He growls a little, a tiny little sound that’s more from annoyance than anything else.

Come home now. Or send me your location and I’ll come get you.

Why does Yoongi only want him around when Hoseok’s trying to pull away? Hoseok had spent the last two weeks trying all sorts of stupid little things to get Yoongi to pay him some attention. He’d invited Yoongi over for dinner only to get shot down, he’d visited Yoongi at his studio to bring him lunch only to get told the older alpha was too busy. Just when Hoseok’s deciding to go back to ignoring him, does Yoongi decide Hoseok’s now worth his attention. It’s annoying, to be pulled in so many different directions, and Hoseok’s tired of it.

Fuck off, Hoseok sends back, and he knows Yoongi will. Because Hoseok rarely swears, and only does it when he’s furious. He wants Yoongi to know that he’s mad at him; maybe then Yoongi will pull his head out of his ass and realize Hoseok isn’t his enemy.

“Maybe I’m reading this wrong,” Taehyung’s voice cuts in, and Hoseok looks up from his phone, surprised. “You’re a little distracted.”

“No, no,” Hoseok says quickly. “I’m sorry. It’s just…complicated.”

“Yeah?” Taehyung asks. He motions the bartender for another two drinks. “I think there’s a bit of that going around for us all right now. Complicated things that mess with your life. Do you want to talk about it?”

“About…this?” Hoseok asks, holding his phone up as if it was any indication of the mess of a relationship he has with Yoongi.

“Yeah,” Taehyung shrugs, handing the fresh drink to Hoseok. “Come with me,” he says, taking Hoseok by the hand again, and Hoseok follows behind, stumbling a little bit. “I have a booth reserved. It’s quieter. You just really look like you need to let it out, whatever complicated thing is going on in your life right now. I can listen. Maybe it’ll remind me that my own problems aren’t so bad.”

“…okay,” Hoseok agrees. He slides his phone back into his pocket. Yoongi doesn’t text him back for the rest of the night.

Hoseok wakes up to a pounding head, a dry mouth, and the fresh scent of mint. It reminds him of the gin and tonics he’d been drinking all night, and then Hoseok groans as the light from the morning sun pierces into his eyes. It feels like it’s drilling into his brain.

There’s a glass of water on the night table, and a painkiller, and he sits up so he can grab both. He sets the empty glass down once he’s done, finally taking a look around the room.

He doesn’t recognize it, this bedroom. It’s big, with an open concept and a minimalistic design, so Hoseok has no clues as to the owner. He doesn’t remember how he ended up here, but he’s alone in bed and still fully dressed.

He stands from the bed, holding himself up on unsteady legs for a moment before he feels his strength come back, and then he moves into the bathroom to wash his face. He looks at himself in the mirror; his eye makeup is smudged, and he tries his best to fix it and his mess of bed hair too. His clothes are wrinkled, and honestly, it kind of looks like Hoseok hooked up.

“Hoseok?”

He hears the deep, smooth voice from last night, and then it returns to him – Taehyung, the bar, the way Hoseok had ranted all night about Yoongi to a complete stranger instead of taking the opportunity to hook up with possibly the hottest person he’d ever met who’d actually been attracted to Hoseok too. He feels like an idiot.

“Um, hi,” Hoseok says, taking a few steps out of the bathroom. Taehyung stands tall in the middle of the bedroom, looking well-rested and put-together. Hoseok feels like even more of a mess.

“How was your sleep?”

“Good,” Hoseok says. And then he finally looks up to meet Taehyung’s gaze, and he realizes he wasn’t imagining it last night; it was real. “One of your eyes is gold,” he blurts out.

Taehyung blinks, surprised, and then he lifts one hand to his face, index finger tapping just below his one gold eye. “Everyone likes to point it out.”

“I’m sorry,” Hoseok says. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. It’s just…rare.”

Taehyung nods, lips tilting into a small smile. “I know. Anyway, do you want some breakfast?”

“Sure,” Hoseok agrees, still stuck on Taehyung’s one gold eye. How was it possible?

“Coffee?” Taehyung asks, leading him through the apartment towards the kitchen.

“Yes please,” Hoseok says. He hesitates for a moment. “Hey, um, I just wanted to apologize for last night. For taking up your whole night complaining about another guy. I didn’t mean to bore you with that.”

Taehyung hands him a cup of coffee, and he looks amused. “I wasn’t bored,” he says, and Hoseok looks at him, disbelieving. “I promise. It was kind of funny, actually. Seeing you so worked up, so mad. Do you know that you get a little crease in your forehead when you frown?”

“I do?” Hoseok asks.

Taehyung nods. “Yeah, it’s cute. You’re cute.”

Hoseok mouth falls open. He doesn’t know what to say.

“If you’re really sorry for taking up my whole night, which I didn’t mind at all,” Taehyung continues. “Then give me your number. Let me take you out, properly.”

“I…what?” Hoseok breathes. He thinks he should pinch himself because surely he must still be dreaming.

Taehyung holds his phone out, still looking very amused. “You can also let me know the next time you plan to come by my club. You won’t have to wait in line to get in, and I can set a booth aside for you.”

“Your club?” Hoseok squeaks.

“Mhm,” Taehyung leans back against the counter as Hoseok types his number into the beta’s phone. “That’s one of the puzzle pieces. Am I intriguing to you yet? Do you want to find out more?”

Hoseok looks over at him, at his heterochromatic eyes, at his attractive features and his confident smirk, at the luxury of his expansive apartment. “I do,” he says softly, honestly. “I want to know everything.”

Taehyung’s smirk shifts into a more genuine smile, and then he turns to the stove to make them both breakfast. Hoseok watches his back as he works, a little rattled both by his attraction to the beta and what that gold eye might mean.

He leaves the apartment an hour later with Taehyung’s number on his phone and wearing one of the beta’s sweaters to help guard him against the chill of the early morning.

Where are you? he texts Yoongi. We need to talk.

This was not something he could tell Namjoon, not yet. He needed Yoongi’s opinion first. Yoongi would know what to do, he always did.

Yoongi is a creature of habit, and so when he doesn’t reply to Hoseok’s message, Hoseok knows exactly where to find him. He makes his way up the steps of Genius Lab, and through the door into the old building. It’s quiet today, and Hoseok takes a moment to collect his thoughts. He takes a few deep breaths to center himself, to prepare himself to face Yoongi.

He feels guilty, somehow, for Taehyung, even though Hoseok hadn’t even done anything, and he isn’t anything remotely close to a romantic interest for Yoongi. He shakes his head free of these thoughts, and moves further into the building, towards Yoongi’s studio.

The older alpha is sitting at his computer, headphones on, but he pauses what he’s doing and turns to the door when he picks up Hoseok’s scent. And then his nose twitches.

“What the fuck?” Yoongi snaps. “Why do you smell like that?” His reaction is so sudden and so harsh that Hoseok freezes in surprise.

“Like what?” Hoseok asks. He takes a small sniff, and then he realizes he’s still wearing Taehyung’s sweater because he’d come to the studio directly from the beta’s apartment. He smells like a mix of mint and vanilla. “Oh,” Hoseok says, moving further into the room. “It’s the sweater I’m wearing. It’s not mine.”

“Whose is it?”

Hoseok stops again, fingers pausing at unbuttoning his coat, and he furrows his eyebrows. He doesn’t understand the hard look on Yoongi’s face, or this line of questioning. “Just…someone I met, this guy from the club last night. It was cold this morning, so he lent it to me. It’s not important. Listen, I need to tell you-”

“You didn’t go home last night?” Yoongi asks. He’s still sitting in his desk chair, looking up at Hoseok with dark, stony eyes, and Hoseok feels caught off guard. This conversation with Yoongi feels very strange; he’s never seen Yoongi like this, so cold, so mean.

“Um,” Hoseok says, slowly returning to unbuttoning his coat. “No, I didn’t. Hyung, just listen-”

“You went out,” Yoongi murmurs. He pushes himself up from his chair, and even though Hoseok is taller, he suddenly feels very small with Yoongi’s dark eyes pinning him in place. “That’s why you told me to fuck off. Because you wanted to get off. Were you that desperate? Fucking around means more to you than your friends, right? So who was it? Another Pack Alpha sniffing around? Let me guess, you’re planning to leave us again, and you’re offering your ass up to another alpha for a place in their pack.”

Hoseok gapes at him, unable to even think in the face of Yoongi’s verbal attack. “Excuse me?”

Yoongi wrinkles his nose, as if Hoseok smells bad, as if the scent coming off Hoseok is foul. “You couldn’t have bothered to go home and shower?” Yoongi sneers. His voice has become mocking now, and normally Hoseok would be able to fire back but he can’t seem to find his words because he has no idea where this is coming from. “You had to come see me, smelling like that?”

“What are you talking about?” Hoseok demands. “Why are you so mad?”

Yoongi scoffs. “I’m not mad,” he says tauntingly. “Why, did you think it would matter to me if you showed up here smelling like your little boytoy? Do you think I care about you that much?”

It feels like Yoongi’s slapped him, the shock is so sudden. “It obviously does matter,” Hoseok retorts. “Because you’re acting so weird about it. What the fuck, hyung? What I did last night is none of your business!”

“It’s my business if you come to my studio smelling like that!” Yoongi roars, and Hoseok actually takes a step backwards. This anger is unlike anything he’s ever seen from Yoongi; he’s never, ever seen his hyung like this. “I don’t need to smell the scent of you fucking around! Get that disgusting scent out of here!”

Hoseok stares at him, open-mouthed, stunned. He can feel a lump forming at the back of his throat, and the telltale signs of tears in his eyes. He doesn’t know what he’s done to have this kind of rage directed at him.

Yoongi is staring back, chest heaving with each breath, eyes dark and shuttered. Hoseok can’t read him at all.

He swallows heavily. “Fine,” Hoseok says. It comes out almost like a whisper, because his voice is so weak. “I’ll go. Sorry for…for disturbing you.”

He wheels around, off-balance, and nearly misses the door handle because his vision is blurry with unshed tears. He stumbles out of the room, still in shock. Yoongi doesn’t call out for him, and Hoseok doesn’t know if he would stop if Yoongi called him back. He’s never fought with Yoongi like this. So he leaves the older alpha behind.

He’s forgotten all about the reason he came to see Yoongi in the first place.

☽

The drive back to the City from the cabin seems shorter than their drive from a few days ago, but Jungkook thinks it must be because Doyoung is so quiet.

The other alpha has completely backed off, after Jungkook’s warning, and though Jimin had been very confused at the sudden shift in the other alpha, he hadn’t questioned it. He’d seemed much happier, and Jungkook knew it had been the right thing to do.

Doyoung doesn’t meet his eyes for the rest of the weekend they spend together, his gaze always lowered and off to the side when he addresses Jungkook. It’s instinctual, Jungkook knows; it’s his wolf recognizing its inferiority to Jungkook’s.

In fact, with Doyoung so firmly put in his place, and Jimin’s happiness blooming like a sunflower following the sun, the omega even seems to enjoy the forest a little bit more. After he tells Jungkook what happened to him when he was a pup, Jungkook had thought it was a shame that Jimin was scared of a place Jungkook loved so much.

So he’d taken Jimin out into the forest, off the worn path, to show him how beautiful it could be.

I’m scared, Jimin said, pulling on Jungkook’s hand to stop him, still standing on the marked path while Jungkook had taken two steps forward into the dense forest. What if I get lost?

You won’t, Jungkook reminded him. Not with me. Trust me.

Jimin had studied him, for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip, nervous. Okay, he whispered, taking two steps forward too, breath exhaling slowly when he realized nothing bad had happened by leaving the marked trail behind. His hand tightened around Jungkook’s. I trust you. You won’t let go of me, right?

Jungkook nodded. Right.

He’d taken Jimin along with him, following his trail from earlier that morning when he’d run around the perimeter of their property, scenting the air for lone wolves or other predators. He’d stumbled on a small waterfall, and he’d thought that Jimin would like it.

He’s not wrong. Jimin gasped as the trees opened up to the water cascading down the rocks, releasing Jungkook’s hand so he could dart forward, stepping from rock to rock until he reached the edge of the pool of water, peering down at the tiny fish swimming below the surface.

It’s beautiful! Jimin exclaimed. He looked around him in wonder, at the tall trees and the sunny sky, the mist of the waterfall and the birds flying overhead.

I know, Jungkook said, his eyes on the angelic omega. Jimin was happy, and Jungkook liked that most of all.

And then Jimin had turned to him, eyes crinkled because he was smiling so wide, stepping from rock to rock to come back to Jungkook. But the mist from the waterfall had wettened the rocks, and Jimin’s feet slipped from under him.

He’d let out a noise of shock that only lasted a second, as Jungkook’s arms had come around him, catching the omega and pulling him tight to his chest. They’d stared at each other, surprised, and then Jimin had smiled again, this time much softer, and his hands had come up to Jungkook’s sturdy shoulders so that he could steady himself.

Thanks, Jungkookie, he said, voice like honey, and then Jimin had used his grip on Jungkook’s shoulders to go up on his toes and pressed a kiss to the alpha’s cheek.

Even now, in the car a day later, Jungkook can still feel the gentle touch of Jimin’s lips against his cheek, the heat of Jimin’s body pressed up against him, the soft weight of Jimin’s small hands against his shoulders. He wants it again; he wants Jimin close, he wants Jimin’s lips to press more kisses to his skin. Most of all, he wants to kiss Jimin back, he wants to make Jimin feel the same way he does.

He looks over at the omega sitting in the passenger seat. Jimin’s looking out the window, following the ups and downs of the hills in the distance. But he must feel Jungkook’s gaze on him, because he turns to face the alpha.

And when their eyes meet, he smiles again, happy.

Jungkook drops Doyoung off at the Palace of the Mages, the same place he’d picked him up a few days earlier. The other alpha can’t seem to leave Jungkook fast enough, grabbing his bag from the trunk and immediately moving off, without a thank you, without a goodbye.

“How rude,” Jimin huffs, arms crossed over his chest. “Good riddance, honestly.”

Jungkook shuts the trunk and turns to the omega. “Would you like a ride home?”

“That would be great, thanks Jungkook,” Jimin says, and he slides back into the passenger seat.

When Jungkook pulls into the guest spot at Jimin’s building, the omega turns to him, his eyes sparkling in the late afternoon sun. “Actually, do you want to come up for a little while? Or are you busy after this?”

“I’m not,” Jungkook reassures him, and he shuts off the engine. They make their way into the lobby together, Jungkook holding Jimin’s bag even though the omega had protested.

“You really did so much for me, this weekend. Beyond what your normal duties were.”

“I really didn’t,” Jungkook tells him, as they step into the elevator. “I just did my job.”

“Oh yeah?” Jimin raises an eyebrow. “Was it your job to make Doyoung back off?”

Jungkook straightens up, surprised. “How…?”

Jimin snorts. “Come on,” he laughs a little bit. “It was obvious you said something to him. He looked so nervous around you, and he finally learned to shut his mouth. I tried everything to get him to back off for months. And then he meets you and suddenly he’s learned respect?”

“Does it bother you?” Jungkook asks, curious. “That I said something?”

“No,” Jimin shakes his head. He slides his key into the lock of his apartment door, and Jungkook steps in after him. Jimin flicks the lights on. “It only bothers me that Doyoung only ever listens to alphas. So, if he only listens to alphas, then I’m glad it was you who stood up for me. I’m happy that someone finally made Doyoung stop.”

Jimin takes his bag from Jungkook, and moves further into the apartment. “I’m going to put in a load of laundry, really quick. Make yourself at home!”

Jungkook crouches down to untie his heavy boots, and then steps beyond the entry-way into the apartment. The last time he’d been here, when he’d been kicked out by Jimin’s friend, he’d only seen a glimpse of the entrance. As he steps around the corner, the apartment opens up before him.

There is so much of Jimin, in this apartment. It’s immediately apparent. The large window is bordered at the bottom by a windowsill that is lined with mismatched planter pots, and the plants that live in them are overgrown, vines and leaves curling along the wood and hanging down the wall. Jimin has stacks of records lined up underneath a vintage side-table that holds a record player. His couch is white, but barely visible because it’s covered with soft knitted blankets. The pictures on his walls are black and white, a throwback to older, half-forgotten eras.

“Do you want anything to drink? To eat?” Jimin asks, coming back into the living room. He’s changed his clothes, and his scent is even softer here in his own space. “I was going to makes myself a coffee.”

“Sure,” Jungkook says, and he follows Jimin into his kitchen.

“What did you say to him?”

“To who?” Jungkook watches Jimin flit around the kitchen, pressing the button on his coffee machine to turn it on, and then moving from to the cupboard to pull down two mugs.

“To Doyoung,” Jimin clarifies. “I was wondering what you said to him to make him back off.”

Jungkook is silent for a moment. He thinks about what to say. “I just reminded him how important your work is,” he says. It’s not a lie, but it isn’t the whole truth either. “I told him that you were the priority, because of the importance of the runes.”

“Really?” Jimin asks, nonplussed. “Huh. I didn’t think it would be that easy. I guess he really does only listen to alphas.” And then he turns back to the machine, pressing another button to get a shot off espresso into the mug. “I think it just hit me…”

“What?”

Jimin looks back at him, over his shoulder. “You’re a mystery, Jeon Jungkook.”

Jungkook is surprised. “A mystery?” he repeats. “What do you mean?”

Jimin taps on his bottom lip with a finger in thought, his eyes never leaving Jungkook. “The more I get to know you, the less I seem to really know. You’re a man of mystery.”

“I don’t mean to be,” Jungkook says apologetically, and Jimin laughs.

“Don’t apologize, we’re all allowed to be mysterious, to have our secrets,” Jimin tells him, turning to the machine again to start frothing the milk. It’s loud, so they don’t speak for a few moments. When Jimin’s done with their coffees, he hands one to Jungkook and the alpha follows him back out to the living room. They sit together on the couch, and Jimin lifts his legs up to his chest, tucking himself into a ball, almost.

“Is there something you want to know about me?” Jungkook asks. He’s curious, more than anything. Jungkook has always thought he was too vulnerable, that other people could read him like a book and take out all of his secrets. He thought that was why the awful things always happened to him, because his weaknesses were on display for everyone to see.

Something about this question seems to make Jimin soften. He curls up with one of the knitted blankets and the mug of coffee in his hand, smiling up at Jungkook. “I have a lot of time to know all of you, Jungkook,” he says. “I’ve decided, that’s for me. Knowing all of you is only going to be mine. What do you think about that?”

“Um,” Jungkook stumbles over his words. He feels himself flush at the coquettish look on Jimin’s face, the way he leans into Jungkook, lips full and pouty. “I think…that might take a really long time. To know all of me.”

“We have the rest of our lives,” Jimin says it like a promise. “So I’m not worried.”

“Then I think, if someone had to know all of me,” Jungkook hesitates. “If it’s you, then that would be okay. Because I want to know all of you too.”

A bright smile breaks out across Jimin’s face. “Good,” he chirps happily. “But we can start with something small, okay?”

“Like what?”

“Like…who was your friend? When I saw you at the Wolf Moon ceremony?”

“Oh,” Jungkook says, surprised. “That was Yoongi-hyung. He wrote the song for your performance.”

“What? No,” Jimin shakes his head. “Suga wrote that song.”

“They’re the same person,” Jungkook tells him, and Jimin gapes at him, his mug almost falling from his grip.

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, Yoongi-hyung is Suga,” Jungkook says. “He produces under that name.”

Jimin is still staring up at him, open-mouthed. “Oh my god,” he says finally. “Tae’s going to be so jealous!”

“Who?”

“Taehyung, my best friend!” Jimin exclaims. “He was so jealous when we found out that Suga was writing the song for my performance, and now to know that I kind of met him? Taehyung’s like, in love with Suga. He’s going to freak out when I tell him that you know him personally!”

“Um,” Jungkook scratches the back of his head. “I don’t think he’d take it that well.”

“What? Why not?” Jimin asks, and then the seems to remember. “Oh yeah, because of what happened…”

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods. “I kind of…wanted to ask what that was about.”

“God, I don’t even know,” Jimin groans. “He wouldn’t explain it to me. I mean, Taehyung’s always been protective of me, ever since we were kids. But it’s never been this bad. I don’t know why he reacted to you like that.”

“Well,” Jungkook tries to joke. “He wouldn’t be the first.” The joke falls flat, and Jimin sighs.

“Maybe if I tell him you know Suga it would make him like you more?” Jimin ponders.

“Use my friend’s fame to get your friend to like me?” Jungkook asks, and Jimin finally laughs.

“It sounds so devious, when you put it like that,” he leans closer to Jungkook, and his warm cinnamon sugar scent wafts into their shared space. “I’m going to tell Taehyung to be nicer to you.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Jungkook shrugs. “I don’t think it would help, he doesn’t even know me.”

“But I do,” Jimin replies. “I know you, so he should trust my judgement.” He says it like it’s final, so Jungkook doesn’t bother to argue anymore. But really, he doubts Taehyung will be any nicer to him just because Jimin tells him to. People just don’t work that way.

Jimin stands then, grabbing their empty mugs and moving back to the kitchen to dump them in the sink. Jungkook’s gaze wanders over the room again. There is something so calming about Jimin’s space – the soft neutral colours, the vintage style, the way it’s a little bit messy and very obviously lived-in. It’s a stark contrast to Jungkook’s own apartment, where everything is neat and orderly, because he still isn’t used to all the space and because he still has a bad habit of hiding anything important.

He moves over to the vast collection of records Jimin has amassed, curious. Jungkook’s always loved music, and he’s always thought it to be a reflection of how people saw the world, of how people had learned life. He crouches down to flick through them; the records aren’t organized in any way that Jungkook can figure out, but it’s pretty apparent what kind of music Jimin likes to listen to.

“Is it weird that I love old jazz and swing music?” Jimin asks, coming over to crouch down beside him. He laughs a little bit. “Is it weird that I have the taste of a grandpa?”

“No,” Jungkook says, maybe too seriously. “You can listen to whatever you like. Music’s comforting, like that.”

Jimin leans into him a little bit when he reaches forward to pick out one of the records, gripping onto Jungkook’s knee to steady himself. “There’s just something about this era; the music is so romantic,” he says a bit dreamily, holding the record close to his chest for a moment.

Then he pushes himself to standing, opening the top of his record player and placing the disc down. “I adore it, how it makes me feel,” he tells Jungkook, as the alpha rises to stand beside him. “Maybe it’s a little too idealistic, but I’ve always thought life should be romantic. That you should romanticize all the little things. I mean, life is what you make it, isn’t it? Even when you’re thrown a curveball, when it doesn’t turn out quite the way you thought, you get to choose what to do next. You can go in any direction you’d like. Maybe that makes me a bit of a dreamer, but it makes me happy.” He lowers the arm of the record player, and a static sound crackles as the record turns, and then the music starts.

I don’t know why but I’m feeling so sad
I long to try something I never had
Never had no kissin’
Oh, what I’ve been missin’
Lover man, oh, where can you be?

“Do I sound completely crazy?” Jimin asks, but he’s smiling.

“No,” Jungkook says. “Not at all. It suits you.”

Jimin giggles, leaning into Jungkook again, but Jungkook doesn’t mind. He likes Jimin’s weight, it reassures him. He likes his strength if it means he can hold Jimin up. “What does that mean?”

“It just means it suits you, being happy,” Jungkook shrugs, but he’s careful not to dislodge the omega. It’s true, that happiness suits Jimin. It’s also true that Jungkook has lived a completely different life from Jimin, and he’s only just realizing it now. He wishes, for a moment, that his outlook could be as innocent as Jimin’s. It sounds freeing, as if nothing could hold you back. But Jungkook’s perspective had been shaped and carved by a very different set of circumstances.

The night is cold and I’m so alone
I’d give my soul just to call you my own
Got a moon above me
But no one to love me
Lover man, oh where can you be?

Jimin seems to melt into him, and he takes one of Jungkook’s hands and brings the other up to rest on Jungkook’s shoulder, and then he starts to sway along to the music. Jungkook panics for a moment, unsure what to do with his anything, and Jimin laughs. “You can touch me, you know.”

So Jungkook grips Jimin’s waist with a hand that feel a little too clumsy, but Jimin seems to like it anyway. He’s singing along to the song, under his breath, pulling Jungkook into a sweet dance. Jimin lifts their linked arms up so he can twirl in place, and then comes back to Jungkook again.

I’ve heard it said
That the thrill of romance
Can be like a heavenly dream
I go to bed with a prayer
That you’ll make love to me
Strange as it seems

And with Jimin smiling up at him so brightly, so tenderly, Jungkook can’t help but smile back. It’s small, it’s shy, but it’s there, his cheeks pushing up, his eyes crinkling as he smiles helplessly down at the angel in his arms. Happiness fills him up completely; it feels like a hot drink on a cold day, like the sun on his skin in the summer, like he’s wrapped up in a thick blanket that smells of cinnamon and sugar.

“Oh, wow,” Jimin murmurs, inhaling softly. He lifts the hand that’s gripping Jungkook’s shoulder, and traces Jungkook’s bottom lip, his thumb gently settling against Jungkook’s cheek and the little dimple there. They’ve stopped dancing now, and Jimin’s other hand comes up so that he can cup Jungkook’s face. “It really suits you too.”

“What does?”

And Jimin grins, big and bright. “Happiness, silly.”

Jungkook exhales. He wants to kiss Jimin, he realizes; he wants to feel those lips pressed against his. His gaze flickers down to Jimin’s plush lips, and then back up. Jimin moves one hand to cup the back of Jungkook’s head, fingers tangling in his dark hair.

“Can I kiss you?” Jimin asks softly, his thumb brushing the corner of Jungkook’s smile.

“Yes,” Jungkook breathes, and then they’re kissing, in the middle of Jimin’s living room, surrounded by cinnamon and sugar, with soft jazz music playing in the background.

Happiness explodes inside of Jungkook like a million tiny little fireworks.

Someday we’ll meet
And you’ll dry all my tears
Then whisper sweet
Little things in my ear
Hugging and a-kissing
Oh, what I’ve been missing
Lover man, oh, where can you be?

☾

The Alpha Guard’s main building is just off a side-street in the middle of the City, because the City grew around it. It’s an old building, with big windows and wooden floors, and it used to back onto the forest, so the alphas could quickly shift and race towards whatever threat existed against their wolves.

Now, the forest is gone, and the building mainly acts as the head office for the Alpha Guard. Jungkook only goes in when he has to bring in his reports.

His supervisor is an old alpha who always says Jungkook reminds her of herself when she was younger. She laughs a lot, so much so that there are crow’s-feet at the corners of her eyes. Her walk is a little stiff, and she says that it’s from an injury years ago, one that was so devasting she could no longer work as an active member of the guard.

Jungkook stops by her office to drop off his report from the weekend with Jimin, and Eunju calls him in.

“Just a moment, Jungkook-ah,” Enuju says. “I need to talk to you for a moment. It won’t be long.”

So Jungkook steps back into her office, coming to a stop in front of the desk.

“We got a complaint,” Eunju tells him. “From the University, about your behaviour for this patrol.”

Jungkook clenches his jaw. “I understand.”

“Do you?” Eunju asks. “They think we might not take our job seriously.”

“I completed all of my duties,” Jungkook replies. “Please look at my report, you’ll see everything there.”

Eunju appraises him, for a moment, and then suddenly she releases out a loud laugh that startles Jungkook. “Oh don’t look so grim, Jungkook-ah,” she says, leaning back in her chair. “You’re not the first guard to get a complaint, and you won’t be the last. The University is making a fuss out of nothing, simply because the alpha who filed the complaint comes from money. I just have to talk to you about it so I can write that we had this conversation in my own report. Besides, the omega who was with you on the same patrol filed his own complaint this morning, against the alpha from the University.”

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows. “I’m not in trouble?”

“No, no,” Eunju waves a hand. “Just don’t make a habit of it. You’re a very good guard, Jungkook. I’ve been extremely impressed with your growth these last few years. Keep playing your cards right, and you might find yourself climbing up the ladder here.”

“Thank you,” Jungkook says, and then he’s allowed to go. He makes his way out of the old building, into the late afternoon, and slides his phone out of his pocket. There’s a new voicemail waiting for him, and he quickly types in his password.

Namjoon’s voice filters through the earpiece a few moments later.

“Hey, are you home tonight? I’m coming over for dinner, because we need to talk. Hoseok and Yoongi-hyung had a fight, and…Jungkook-ah, it was bad. I don’t think they’re going to be able to fix this one…”

Despite the overwhelming number of alphas and betas and omegas in the club, and the sharp scent of alcohol coming from the bar, Jungkook’s nose catches the faintest scent of Yoongi.

Yoongi was here, but he’s not anymore.

But Jungkook is not an alpha for nothing, and he’s learned how to track. How to hunt. How to study behaviour. He knows exactly where to find Yoongi.

He pushes passed warm bodies, feels the pulsing of the club music in his bones, and finally finds blessed relief as he pushes open the emergency door to the side alley, and steps out into the cold, cloudless night.

As soon as the door slams shut behind him, it is silent. He takes in a deep breath, finds the clean, coffee scent, and then tilts his head to look up at Yoongi sitting three stories above him on the steps of the building’s fire escape.

He’s sure that Yoongi has already spotted him, but the older alpha makes no greeting. It is Jungkook’s choice if he wants to go further.

He reaches for the first set of metal stairs, pulling them down and wincing faintly at the screeching noise that cuts through the silence of the night. He scales the ladder quickly, despite the cold metal beneath his hands. By the time he makes it to Yoongi’s seated form, he’s breathing heavily from the climb.

He takes a seat next to the older alpha on the metal staircase, looking out at the alley and road beyond. It is empty, silent, dark. A faint glow moves as Yoongi takes a drag of his cigarette before he leans away from Jungkook to exhale.

Yoongi doesn’t say a word at Jungkook’s arrival, because he’s not big on small talk. Neither is Jungkook; that’s why he likes Yoongi. There isn’t an expectation to say anything.

But now, he can’t rely on that. He’s come here to say something.

“Namjoon sent you?” Yoongi asks. His voice is rough, gravely, thick from the cigarette smoke. Yoongi rarely smokes, not like he used to, and that’s how Jungkook knows the fight was bad.

“Yeah,” Jungkook says. “He told me what happened.”

Yoongi doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then he huffs out a short laugh. “You didn’t go talk to Hoseok first?”

Jungkook exhales. “Hyung,” he says quietly, reproachfully. “Hobi-hyung didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I know,” Yoongi says shortly. He slowly draws another drag of the cigarette. “This is a filthy fucking habit,” he says then, stubbing out the cigarette on the brick of the building next to them. “I better not ever see you trying this.”

Jungkook shakes his head. He watches a group of people pass by on the street below. “Are you going to apologize to Hobi-hyung?”

“Would that make a difference?” Yoongi asks disbelievingly. His legs are tucked close to his chest, and he rests his arms on his knees. It almost looks like he’s hugging himself, but Jungkook has never seen Yoongi holding himself together like this. “I don’t think Hoseok will forgive me. I really fucked up this time.”

“Hobi-hyung always forgives you,” Jungkook tells him, to comfort him, but for some reason Yoongi’s face seems to crumple. He looks away from Jungkook, burying his face into the side of his arm that’s wrapped around his knees.

“Yeah, he does,” Yoongi says, voice muffled into his jacket. “I always make him upset, and he always forgives me. I don’t deserve him. Why the fuck am I like this? Why can’t I stop?”

Jungkook doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t think those questions are meant for him.

“Hyung,” he says hesitantly. “What…what happened between you two? Why are you both like this, now? Namjoon-hyung said he doesn’t know either.”

Yoongi doesn’t answer him for a while. It’s silent for so long, that Jungkook thinks he won’t answer at all. And then Yoongi turns to face him again. “I told you I met Hoseok at the hospital, when I was getting treated for this,” he taps on his wolfsbane scars. “I was kind of fucked up at that time. And Hoseok was like this…light in the dark of my life. He was just him. He was still getting started with his training, and he was so nervous all the time, and he wasn’t as good as he is now. But he wouldn’t let me wallow in my own self-pity, and he got so mad at me every time I started giving up.” Yoongi laughs a little bit. “And I loved him. I still love him.”

Jungkook’s jaw drops open, and stares at his hyung, wide-eyed. He’d guessed at Hoseok’s feelings, but he’d never expected this. He’d never thought Yoongi might actually like Hoseok back. It didn’t seem possible, from what he’d seen of his hyungs.

“I guess I got too good at hiding it,” Yoongi says, his eyes flickering over Jungkook’s expression. He’s not smiling anymore. “Anyway, when it came time for me to leave the hospital, I told Hoseok that I wanted to take him out on a date, to thank him. I guess I wasn’t ready to let him go. I wanted him in my life, always. And I thought he felt the same way.” Yoongi snorts, shaking his head. “But he said no. He said I was nothing more than a patient. He said that he wasn’t planning on ever seeing me again.”

“So…how did you end up here?” Jungkook asks.

Yoongi buries his face back into his arms. “It turns out that we both knew Namjoon, and that we both planned to stay by his side if he ever became Pack Alpha. So Hoseok was forced to see me, forever, after that.”

“Hyung…” Jungkook whispers.

“What kind of fucked-up karma is that?” Yoongi asks, scoffing, a dry laugh escaping his throat. “Keeping two people together, when one of them never wanted it in the first place? We’ve been in this fucked up version of a pseudo-friendship for years, all for Namjoon, and now I’ve torn it to pieces. Because I was fucking jealous, like I’m a little kid whose toy got taken away. I’m the worst.”

“Hyung don’t say that,” Jungkook says. He feels a little desperate, because it sounds like Yoongi’s giving up, it sounds like maybe nothing will go back to how it used to be, and that scares Jungkook more than anything. He needs his hyungs, he needs them to be the same as they’ve always been. “You’re not the worst, so don’t say that. You only made a mistake, you can fix this.”

“No, I can’t,” Yoongi’s voice is flat. He isn’t looking at Jungkook.

“You can!” Jungkook says urgently. “Hyung, you just have to tell Hobi-hyung how you feel about him.”

“I can’t!” Yoongi finally snaps, vicious, turning to face Jungkook, and it stuns the younger alpha into silence. Yoongi is crying, he realizes abruptly. In all his years of knowing his hyung, he’s never seen Yoongi cry. “I keep fucking up, I keep making the same mistakes. I never told Hoseok how I felt about him back then, and there’s no fucking way I could tell him now. You should know this better than anyone, Jungkook! When’s the last time you were fucking honest about your feelings, huh? When was the last time one of us didn’t have to reach into you to pull your feelings out, force you to talk about them? When’s the last time you gave us that shit willingly?”

Jungkook stares at Yoongi, at the tears sliding down his face, at the harsh black lines of his wolfsbane scar, at his heaving chest. He stares, and he doesn’t say a word. Something feels very raw inside of him, like someone has torn so deeply across his chest that they’ve reached his heart and torn that too. But that can’t be true, because he isn’t bleeding.

Yoongi grunts, suddenly, hands coming up to grip at his hair tightly. “Fucking fuck!” He snaps, and he abruptly stands, the metal fire escape creaking at the movement. He doesn’t say anything else to Jungkook, and Jungkook doesn’t say anything either. He doesn’t want Yoongi to leave, but he can’t find the words to make him stay.

And then Yoongi’s gone, down the creaking staircase and into the alleyway, and Jungkook remains behind, sitting on the cold metal and wondering how things had gotten so wrong, wondering why anything good never seemed to last.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there, on the fire escape, watching people pass by below, but eventually he moves, climbing back down the metal stairs to step out onto the empty street. He doesn’t know where he should go; going home now would feel too lonely.

He thinks maybe he should go to see Namjoon, who seemed to be his only hyung who wasn’t leaving him behind, but when he looks up from the grey pavement of the sidewalk, his feet have brought him to a very different place.

He pulls out his phone, hesitating for a moment. Are you still up?

He only has to wait a few seconds before his phone pings. Yep!! What’s up?

I’m outside your place. Can I come up?

He’s knocking on Jimin’s door a few minutes later, and the omega quickly ushers him in, peering up at Jungkook in concern. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“What do you mean?” Jungkook asks. He crouches down to untie his black boots, and his eyes catch on the suns all over Jimin’s socks.

“You’re here so late,” Jimin says. “I just thought something must have happened.”

Jungkook exhales as he stands, and Jimin is right there in front of him again, hands gripping Jungkook’s arms so that he can meet Jungkook’s gaze. He wants to lean forward and scent Jimin, he wants to bury his nose against Jimin’s neck, skim along the soft skin, drown in that cinnamon sugar scent and leave his own deep forest one behind. “Jungkookie, what is it?”

He looks down at Jimin, at his expectant gaze, and then a cold fear takes hold of him, so abruptly, so suddenly, that he thinks it must have been lying in wait to strike him at his weakest. I want to know all of you, Jimin had said.

The problem, Jungkook thinks, with telling Jimin about any one of his problems is that Jungkook has too many. It would be like opening a can of worms, it would be spilling the mess of his problems all over Jimin’s beautiful life that he had worked so hard to create for himself. How could Jungkook knowingly do that to him?

“Nothing,” he says softly, reassuringly. “It’s really nothing. I just…didn’t want to be alone, I guess.” The truth. “And I was close by.” A lie. “Can I stay over tonight? I don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”

“Of course you can,” Jimin tells him. He still looks worried, but he doesn’t press anymore. He releases his hold on Jungkook’s arms, and moves further into the apartment. “Come on, I’ll see if I can find something that fits you. And don’t be silly, you don’t have to sleep on the couch. I’ve already made that clear, haven’t I?”

Jimin’s apartment is warm, and his scent fills Jungkook’s nose. Jungkook changes into a pair of sweatpants that are a little too short at the ankles and a shirt that’s a little too tight across his chest. He brushes his teeth in the bathroom, and when he sees his reflection, he thinks he can understand where Jimin’s concern came from. He looks exhausted, his shoulders slumped, wilted.

He leaves his folded clothes on the armchair in Jimin’s room, and then heads back into the hallway to find the omega. Once he steps out of the room, he stops at the sound of someone singing.

Curious, he follows the voice down the hall, all the way to the open living room, to find Jimin standing by the shelf of his plants. And then Jungkook realizes he’s the one singing, voice smooth and melodic and sweet.

“Oh,” Jimin stumbles over his words when he spots Jungkook, cheeks flushing red. “I’m sorry, I’ve never had someone here when I’ve…done this.”

“What are you doing?”

Jimin laughs a little awkwardly. “This is going to sound so stupid,” he says, embarrassed. “I’m singing to my plants.”

“Um,” Jungkook says. “Why?”

“I guess because I think it sort of…helps?” Jimin looks back at his row of plants, and his fingers come up to fidget with the leaves. “I read a few studies about it, and I tried it out, and it seems to work. So I kept doing it, and it sort of became a habit. I kind of feel like I’m singing them a lullaby each night, actually. And it makes me feel a little less alone.”

Jungkook moves closer so that he can perch on the arm of the couch. “I liked it,” he tells Jimin. “Your singing. You shouldn’t stop because of me.”

“Um, okay,” Jimin whispers, his smile turning into something a little more genuine. He turns back to his plants, then, fingers still fidgeting with the leaves. He’s quiet for a moment, but then the singing starts up again, tremulous, quiet, shoulders a little tense with uncertainty.

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper, I love you
Birds singing in the sycamore trees
Dream a little dream of me

And then Jimin seems to gain confidence, his shoulders relaxing, his voice growing stronger as he sings the rest of the song to his plants and to Jungkook.

Jungkook doesn’t know much about plants, but he thinks Jimin might be right about his singing. Because Jungkook feels like he’s blooming, a little bit, like the clouds have parted to let some sun through. He closes his eyes, and lets Jimin’s voice wash over him, thinking of nothing else except Jimin, his angel.

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Leave the worries behind you
But in your dreams, whatever may be
You’ve gotta make me a promise, promise to me
You’ll dream, dream a little dream of me

☽

Hoseok never realized how lonely it could be without Yoongi.

They had never had the most stable of friendships, if their relationship could even be called that, but he’d always had Yoongi around. Hoseok could call him in the early hours of the morning to pick him up from the hospital, and Yoongi would be there without complaint. Hoseok would off-handedly mention something he liked in a long-forgotten conversation he had with Namjoon and Yoongi, and a few weeks later he’d unwrap his birthday present from Yoongi only to find that very item.

Sometimes it was easier to focus on the bad of their push-and-pull, because it was easier for Hoseok to make it all Yoongi’s fault. And if it was all Yoongi’s fault, then that meant Hoseok didn’t have to blame himself for being the one who had started it all in the first place. Hoseok didn’t have to think he was at fault because he’d fallen in love with a patient.

He only tells Namjoon about their fight because Namjoon deserves to know, as their future Pack Alpha. He deserves to know that he might be losing Hoseok or Yoongi from his pack, at this point. There might not be a coming back from this.

Hoseok does not tell Jungkook.

He’s nervous about the emotional fallout, when Jungkook finds out. Hoseok isn’t ready to deal with that. He wonders if Jungkook will go silent again, if he’ll retreat so deeply into himself again, to protect himself from the explosion of Hoseok and Yoongi’s relationship.

“Wow, you’ve really had it rough these last two weeks, huh?”

Hoseok drags himself away from his drink, turning to face Taehyung who looks as stunning as ever, even under the unflattering club lights. Inner Child is packed, on a Saturday, but Hoseok can’t seem to pull himself away from the bar, away from his drink. He’s already feeling warm and swishy inside, and Taehyung’s face is blurry. It takes Hoseok a few seconds to answer.

“Huh?”

It’s very eloquent.

“Shit, you’re really wasted,” Taehyung frowns, concern bleeding into his voice. He turns to the bartender then, moving his attention off Hoseok, and the alpha hates that. So he reaches a hand out to grab onto the beta’s arm, to try to Taehyung’s eyes back on him. He wants Taehyung closer, but his hands feel very heavy, and instead he stumbles over his feet, nearly falling flat on his face.

Taehyung catches him with a strong arm around his waist, as Hoseok bumps his nose against Taehyung’s shoulder and clings to his shirt. He’s saying something to the bartender, but Hoseok doesn’t have a coherent thought in his head or the ability to focus on what he’s saying. He just likes Taehyung’s minty scent and how deep his voice is.

And then Taehyung’s saying something to him, but Hoseok just blinks slowly in response. He’s swaying on his feet, and he feels like he’d like to fall asleep, right now.

Taehyung’s arm tightens around his waist, and no they’re leaving the bar behind and leaving Hoseok’s drink behind to.

“My vodka,” he pouts, head spinning from the club’s flashing lights.

“Yeah, you’ve had enough of that,” Taehyung grunts, and then they’re out in the cool night air, and the noise level suddenly drops. Hoseok’s ears feel like they’re filled with cotton.

And that’s the last thing he can coherently remember.

He wakes up in the same room as before, but now he recognizes it as Taehyung’s bedroom. But unlike last time, his stomach is rolling and his head is pounding, and he when he tries to sit up, nausea forces him back down. Taehyung walks in a few minutes later, without a hangover, which Hoseok thinks is pretty unfair.

“I could hear you moaning in pain from the other room,” Taehyung tells him. “You drank so much last night, I’m surprised I didn’t have to take you to the hospital to get your stomach pumped.”

“You’re joking,” Hoseok grunts, but when he looks up at Taehyung, the beta isn’t smiling. “You’re not joking?”

Taehyung sighs. “Look,” he says. “I’m not here to lecture you about how much you drank, because I know you don’t normally drink this much. But that was stupid, Hoseok. I didn’t invite you to my club last night so you could get pissed drunk. If you’re going to drink like that, do it at home.”

Hoseok brings a hand up to rub at his face. “I know, I’m sorry,” he says apologetically. “I didn’t mean for it to go that far. It’s just…everything sucked, and then I had that first drink, and suddenly all the shit that’s bothering me didn’t seem to matter anymore.”

Taehyung moves closer, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. “What happened?” He asks. He’s unusually serious, and Hoseok swallows heavily in the face of Taehyung’s solemn gaze. “What happened to make you drink that much?”

Hoseok doesn’t have to tell the truth, but he’s always been a horrible liar. Besides, Taehyung knows too much already, and Hoseok owes him an answer. “You remember when I told you about my Yoongi-hyung? The guy I’m like in love with?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung nods.

“We got into a fight,” Hoseok tells him.

Taehyung is silent for a moment. “Something tells me it was more than just a simple argument.”

“It was more,” Hoseok admits. He feels too exposed, lying back in bed while Taehyung sits up, so he pushes himself up to lean against the headboard. Taehyung watches him, expectant, so he forces himself to continue. “The thing about Yoongi-hyung, is that he knows exactly what to say to hurt you. He’s always been like that. I don’t know how to explain it exactly. He’s just always had this way with words.”

Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “He doesn’t sound very nice.”

Hoseok’s quick to shake his head, to correct himself. “I don’t mean it like that. When I say he has a way with words…he also knows exactly what to say to make you feel like you’re the best person he’s ever met. He can say things that make you feel amazing, like you’re on top of the world. It goes both ways, his words. You just don’t know what you’re going to get.”

Taehyung hums in acknowledgement. “So you fought, and he said something that really hurt you,” he concludes.

“Yeah,” Hoseok whispers, and the pain still feels so fresh. “But the funny part is…I don’t even really remember what he said. It was like, as soon as I left him, the words disappeared. All I could focus on was how angry he was, and how much that hurt me. He just kept on attacking me with his words, with what he was saying, and I was trying to hold my own. When you’re up against Yoongi-hyung and he’s like that…you don’t last very long. So I tried to keep it together, but honestly, I can’t match up to him. He just tore me apart.” Hoseok pauses, fidgets with the edge of the blanket, deeply embarrassed. “He’s never been mean like that to me. Never.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” Taehyung says gently. “Especially because you like him so much.” And that’s why Hoseok is so embarrassed. “That’s shitty, no one should go through something like that.”

“I mean,” Hoseok feels a little awkward now, and he feels himself rise to Yoongi’s defense despite himself, because Hoseok’s always blamed Yoongi but it’s different when other people do it. “I’m doing a bad job of explaining us. Me and Yoongi-hyung. He’s really not like that normally, and that’s why I fell in love.” He flushes when he says this. Taehyung’s the first person he’s ever told the whole truth to, the whole truth about his feelings for Yoongi. “He’s really amazing, and he’s genuinely a really kind person, even though he might seem a little prickly when you first meet him. He’s really protective of our friend group, and he’s always there for any of us, no matter what. I think I just made him really mad, so it’s not entirely his fault, how he reacted. I mean, if I’m being honest?” And here Hoseok grips the blanket in his hands, tight. “This whole thing, between Yoongi and I, it’s my fault. From the very beginning. And I’ve never admitted that.”

“So why are you telling me?” Taehyung asks him.

“Because you’re the only one who knows how I feel about Yoongi-hyung,” Hoseok says. “You’re the only one I’ve told. So I just thought it would be easier to own up to everything. Because Yoongi gets the fall for a lot of our fights, but I was the one who started it.”

“What did you do?” Taehyung asks. “How did it start?”

“I met Yoongi-hyung at the hospital, when I first started training to be a doctor,” Hoseok tells him. “And I fell in love with him, while he was my patient. Do you know how unethical that is? Do you know how wrong it is? I could have put him into a position where he thought he had no other choice than to accept me, because he was dependent on me. Because I was his doctor. I hate myself, when I think about it.”

“Well,” Taehyung says slowly. “Did you?”

“Did I what?”

“Did you put him into that position?” Taehyung clarifies.

“What do you mean?” Hoseok asks.

“I’m asking you if you told him how you felt,” Taehyung says. “And if he felt like he had to reciprocate in order to receive treatment from you.”

Hoseok’s mouth drops open in shock. “No, of course not! I never told him how I felt. I didn’t put him into that position, but the point is that I could have.”

“No, the point is that you didn’t,” Taehyung argues. “And that makes a big difference. Did you treat him any differently because of your feelings? I mean in terms of the care you provided. Did you give him special treatment or something?”

“No,” Hoseok denies. “I tried my best with all of my patients, regardless of how I felt about them. That’s my job.”

“So then, what’s the real problem?” Taehyung asks pointedly. “Because yeah, something could have happened, but it didn’t. You’re clinging to a what if instead of to the reality of the situation.”

“You’re not getting it,” Hoseok snaps, frustrated at Taehyung’s contrariety.

“No,” Taehyung says indifferently, leaning back on his hands and tilting his head lazily in Hoseok’s direction. “You’re not getting it. I know exactly what the problem is, from what you’ve told me.”

“Oh yeah?” Hoseok scoffs. “Go on then. What’s the real problem?”

“You’re scared,” Taehyung says simply. “You’re scared to tell Yoongi how you feel.”

Hoseok scoffs again, and looks away.

“It’s true,” Taehyung tells him. “You were terrified that Yoongi was going to find out how you felt, so you hid it. And I get that; it could have cost you your job, back then. You could have lost everything you were working towards. But then, after the hospital, when you were allowed to tell him about your feelings, you still didn’t do it. And it’s because your relationship had already soured, and it had already become what it is now. And again, you were too scared to say anything. So years went by, and your relationship never changed, and now it feels wrong but it also feels comfortable, because it’s the only relationship you have with him. You’re too scared to say anything now because you’re scared that you’re going to lose him. And unlike when he was in the hospital, he doesn’t need you for anything now. He’s not dependent on you. So you could tell him how you feel, that you’re in love with him, and he could choose to leave you. And that terrifies you more than anything.”

Taehyung cuts off, and the room descends into silence. Hoseok’s still gripping the blankets tight in his fists, and he doesn’t know if he wants to laugh or cry. Why does he always have to get told things that cut him to his very core?

“You’ve only known me for two weeks, and you think you know me this well?” He asks.

Taehyung shrugs. “Am I wrong?”

Hoseok grits his teeth together and doesn’t reply.

“Look,” Taehyung says, far more gently now. “I didn’t want to do this now, but I’m leaving to go back home in a few days. I feel like if I don’t say this now, you’re going to leave and you might not give me another chance. I like you, Hoseok-hyung. I want to take you out on a date.”

Never has Hoseok experienced a conversation that’s whipped him around like this. He can’t tell if he’s dizzy from the hangover or from Taehyung’s swift change in topic from something so painfully truthful to something that makes Hoseok flush pink.

“Wait, what?” He stares at the beta, wide-eyed, confused, totally lost.

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, a little bashfully. “Ever since I first saw you dancing at my club, I’ve wanted to get to know you better. But like, you’re completely tied up in this guy, and I know a losing battle when I see one. So I’m hoping with this, that you either get over him and give me a chance, or you find some happiness with him. I didn’t mean to be so harsh, before, but I’m a little impatient. I want you to be mine.”

Hoseok gapes at him again, and only snaps his mouth shut when he sees Taehyung’s smug smirk. “Wait. Hold on, you like me?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, as if it should be obvious.

“And you…want to date me?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung says again. “It would make me so happy. I don’t think you really realize just how special you are, hyung.”

“But,” Hoseok splutters. “All you know about me is that I’m in love with a guy who isn’t you. How can you like me?”

“That’s true,” Taehyung admits. “But seeing the way you love this guy? I want that. Not to mention you’re totally hot.”

Hoseok stares, and then he says, “Am I still asleep? Am I dreaming?” Maybe he should pinch himself to make sure.

A laugh escapes Taehyung’s lips. “You’re not dreaming hyung. Why, do you like what I’m saying?”

“I’m…I’m confused,” Hoseok confesses.

“About my feelings?”

“No,” Hoseok shakes his head. “I mean…what I feel for Yoongi, I’ve only ever felt for him. But when I met you two weeks ago, it’s the closest I’ve ever come to that again. I didn’t say anything before because I feel bad, for always bringing Yoongi up when it’s just the two of us. But the more I get to know you, the more I like you,” he admits. He hopes that’s okay.

Hoseok’s whispering by the end, and when he looks up, Taehyung is smiling at him, warm, genuine, and then he leans forward to grasp Hoseok’s hands and he gently releases Hoseok’s tight grip on his bedsheets. The alpha hadn’t realized he was still fisting the material in his hands. “That’s enough for me right now.” And then Taehyung laughs sheepishly. “Maybe I should meet this Yoongi guy,” he says half-jokingly. “Let him know what he’s missing out on.”

Meet? Hoseok thinks. And then his gaze catches on Taehyung’s eyes and he remembers. Yeah, they should meet.

☾

“

…how deep do you have to go before you can really know yourself? Is it even possible? I’ve been thinking about it, this kind of self-reflection. I guess it’s because sometimes you think you know who you are, and you think you’re okay with that. But then you see yourself in the gaze of someone else’s eyes, and you think, do I even know myself at all?

I know what I like, and I know what I dislike. I am made up of my experiences, and I have things that I wish for. But what’s beyond that? What makes up ‘me’? Is it something I keep locked away, shoved down so deep within me that it seems lost from my grasp? When I try to come up with the words to describe myself, all I hear are the words that other people have given me: freak was first, and monster came later.

So where does that leave me? How do I find myself? How can anyone know me, if I don’t know myself? Suga-hyung said that I don’t talk about how I feel. He said I’m not honest. And my angel told me that I’m mysterious. I don’t mean to be. Honestly, I’ve always thought that I share too much, that I’ve always been too easy to read. But they both said that, and now I’m left wondering who I am. Who it is that I show to other people. Is it dishonest if you keep parts of yourself secret? Or is it brave to keep that ugliness inside, to keep it from touching the people you care about?

I don’t have an answer. I wish I knew. I don’t want to be a liar, but I’ve already become one without knowing it. I can’t help but think my angel would prefer the comfort of my lies to the reality of my secrets. He’s just…he’s so beautiful and I don’t want to change that.

So to finish off today’s podcast, I want to sing something for him. My angel likes a lot of older music, and he likes singing to his plants too. Today’s song is something I think he’d like. An old song that he can sing as a lullaby.

Moon river, wider than a mile
I’m crossing you in style someday
Oh, dream maker
You heartbreaker
Where ever you’re going I’m going your way
Two drifters off to see the world
There’s such a lot of world to see
We’re after the same rainbow’s end
Waiting round the bend
My huckleberry friend
Moon river and me

☽

Jungkook wakes up to the light of the early morning sun peeking through the blinds. He’s not sure what wakes him, at first. It might be the way his arm’s fallen asleep, it might be the sound of birds chirping outside his window. It might be the way his chest is tight from a nightmare.

He hasn’t had a nightmare this bad in years, but as he shakes out his arm to try to wake it up, he feels the tendrils of his dream fading away like white mist. He tries to grasp onto it, to remember what had happened, but he can’t. It still leaves him scared, breathless, heart nearly pounding out of his chest, as if he had been running for a long time.

He reaches out a hand to grab his phone, and he almost texts Yoongi before he remembers what his hyung had said to him, and he pauses. He could try Hoseok, except he didn’t like to worry Hobi-hyung over text; it was always better to tell him in person so Hoseok could be comforted by hugging Jungkook to his heart’s content. He doesn’t want to text Namjoon either, because Namjoon was so exhausted with everything he was doing to become Pack Alpha these days, and Jungkook didn’t want to cut into his sleep. Besides, Namjoon was a heavy sleeper; it was why Jungkook had always texted Yoongi.

He drops his phone back down, and closes his eyes. The image of Jimin’s sweet smile pops into his head, but he dismisses this too. Jimin had left yesterday to go back home for two weeks, and Jungkook doesn’t want to bother him with something as insignificant as a nightmare. Besides, he’d have to actually talk about his nightmares, and they’re not something he’s ever mentioned to Jimin.

Jungkook opens his eyes again. He feels anxious, and he hates waking up feeling this way. His wolf is unsettled, impatient, alert, like it’s expecting something horrible to happen today. The last time Jungkook had woken up like this, he’d ended up in the hospital with his wolfbane scars – it’s really that bad.

He exhales, and then pushes himself to sit up in his bed, the covers pooling in his lap. The anxiety weighs him down, this feeling of impending doom more stressful than anything, because he doesn’t know what he has to be anxious about. Nothing bad has happened.

I had a nightmare.

It’s point-blank, ready to send to Yoongi. Jungkook’s typed it without really thinking about it. The jittery feeling beneath his skin just won’t let up, and his Yoongi-hyung is the only one he feels comfortable with knowing. Yoongi always took him seriously without turning it into a huge deal. Or at least, he used to be.

He quickly deletes the message, uncomfortably aware that he’s doing exactly what Yoongi accused him of in the first place. But Jungkook doesn’t know another way of being. He hasn’t spoken to Yoongi in a week, and he doesn’t want his first message to be something as selfish as asking for help. Yoongi has his own problems to deal with; he doesn’t need to carry the heavy weight of Jungkook’s burden too.

Since he’s up so early, he decides to go for a run. He’ll try anything to work off the excessive anxiety that’s making his breathing tight.

But it doesn’t work.

His stomach rolls as he eats his breakfast afterwards, unsettled, nauseous, and he eventually abandons it, dumping everything into the garbage before locking his apartment and heading to the studio. When all else fails, music never does, and he wants to drown himself in it so that he can forget about whatever is causing his wolf to panic.

And it works, somewhat, bringing him back down for a little while. But when he stops to take a break at lunchtime, the anxiety creeps back in, his wolf wound tight, and he leans forward in his chair to bury his face in his hands. He hates feeling like this, and he’s never had it this bad.

He’s so desperate at this point, that he thinks of Yoongi. He needs to talk to his hyung.

And then, as if Yoongi had heard Jungkook silently calling out for him, there’s a quiet knock at the door. Jungkook lifts his head.

“Yeah?”

Yoongi opens the door, but he doesn’t move any further. His face isn’t as warm as it usually is, but he isn’t closed off either. He looks tired, mostly.

“Can I come in?”

Jungkook hesitates for a moment, and then the tight feeling of anxiety grips at his stomach again, and he nods. Yoongi steps into the room, his warm coffee scent lazily wafting around the small space, and Jungkook takes a deep breath in. It was more of a comfort than he’d realized.

Yoongi takes a seat in the extra chair, the one Jungkook keeps in his small room because his hyungs like to visit. He’s quiet, for a moment, contemplative, and then he settles and looks up to meet Jungkook’s curious gaze.

“I’m sorry.”

Jungkook blinks a few times. “Hyung?”

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi repeats, voice gruff but completely serious. “For what I said to you. It was mean. I was angry with myself, and I took it out on you. It was childish, and I’m sorry. I never should have said those things to you.”

Jungkook holds Yoongi’s gaze for a few seconds more, and then he looks away. He wants to forgive his hyung, he wants to tell Yoongi that it’s okay. But to do that would be to admit that he’d been hurt in the first place.

“It doesn’t matter,” he shrugs. “What you said, I mean. It’s not like it mattered. So you don’t have to apologize.”

“Yes I do,” Yoongi tells him. “And yes, it does matter. I hurt you.”

“No you didn’t,” Jungkook reassures him.

“Yes I did.” Yoongi isn’t arguing with him; the tone of his voice isn’t angry. Rather, he sounds calm, like he’s stating facts that Jungkook should already know. “You can only be hurt by people who get close enough to strike. When it comes to words, it hurts even more when it comes from the people you care about, because they aren’t close to you by accident. I didn’t lie to you, but I never should have said those things to you when I was angry. It wasn’t fair.”

“Hyung, it’s really fine,” Jungkook protests. He feels uncomfortable with the responsibility of forgiving Yoongi. He wishes his hyung would pretend it didn’t matter either.

“We’re too alike for me to ever believe that,” Yoongi tells him. He huffs out a soft laugh. “I’ve always thought that. You remind me of myself, sometimes. It’s why I got so mad; I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did, not if I can show you a different way.”

And Jungkook feels some of the anxiety that’s plagued him all morning fade away. He’d always thought that too, that he was somewhat similar to his Yoongi-hyung. It was comforting to feel like there was someone in the world who could understand him, a little bit. He didn’t feel so alone.

He’d missed his hyung so much. Abandonment isn’t something Jungkook is unfamiliar with, but it hurt so much more when it came from someone he cared about.

So he finally lets himself say something honest. “You didn’t lie,” he admits. “About the way I am, the way I keep things inside. You didn’t lie.”

“I know,” Yoongi tells him. “Because I have the same problem. I can’t tell you how to change, not when I haven’t figured it out either.” He laughs again, something a little louder and looser. “Maybe we’re just two fuck-ups when it comes to expressing our feelings. Hopefully one of us can figure it out. Maybe you’ll have better luck with your omega.”

“Jimin?” Jungkook is startled. He’d almost forgotten that they’d met, however briefly.

“Yeah,” Yoongi says. “Some people are just better at expressing their feelings. They’re not scared to show their heart. But that shit makes me feel so vulnerable; it’s why Hoseok matters so much to me. I always think, how can I be like that too? He amazes me.”

Jungkook is silent for a moment. “Jimin’s like that too,” he finally murmurs. “He’s so open, but it doesn’t make him weak. I don’t know how he does it.”

Yoongi chuckles, leaning back in his seat. “Here we are, two average alphas, gone for two amazing wolves who seem like they can conquer the world. How do we even match up?”

And Jungkook doesn’t know the answer, but his phone starts ringing, so he moves aside the mess of sheet music on his desk to pick it up.

“Hello?”

“Jungkookie!” Hoseok’s cheerful voice filters over the phone, and Yoongi perks up. It’s quiet enough in the studio that Yoongi can hear Hoseok too. “Where are you?”

“At the studio, hyung.”

“Good, I was hoping you were there. Is…is Yoongi-hyung around?”

Jungkook can see Yoongi straighten up out of the corner of his eye, leaning forward in interest. His eyes brighten, suddenly, and it hits Jungkook just how exhausted Yoongi had looked before Hoseok’s call.

“Yeah, hyung, he’s here in the room with me.”

“Put me on speaker?”

Jungkook does. “What is it hyung?”

“You both need to come to Namjoonie’s house right now.”

“Why, what’s wrong?” Yoongi asks, and Hoseok is silent for a moment.

“…nothing’s wrong, sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound like that. Just…do you remember when Namjoon left for 3 months, and he said he met someone?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook says.

Hoseok dissolves into giggles. “Guess who showed up at his house this afternoon.”

“Really?” Jungkook asks, surprised. He glances over to Yoongi, whose eyes have considerably softened at the sound of Hoseok’s bright laughter. A warm smile plays at the corners of his lips. Jungkook drags his eyes away; it feels to intimate for him to look. “Namjoon-hyung must be happy.”

“He’s falling all over himself trying to show-off! Come over, please, you need to see this.”

Jungkook can’t help but chuckle too. “Okay, we’re on our way hyung.”

He hangs up, and then stands, Yoongi joining him. “Are you okay with seeing Hobi-hyung?” Jungkook asks, concern leaking into his voice.

Yoongi shrugs. “I have to see him at some point.”

The April showers have left the streets wet and the grass muddy, and Jungkook tries his best to wipe off his shoes before stepping into Namjoon’s house. He’s immediately hit by a wall of a floral scent, his nose twitching at the strange smell.

“Did Namjoonie buy out a flower shop or something?” Yoongi asks sardonically. He’s kicked off his shoes next to Jungkook’s, after Jungkook’s let them both in with his spare key. Jungkook doesn’t answer, because the anxiety has come back hard. He swallows heavily, and the back of his mouth tastes acidic. He doesn’t know why he feels like this.

His wolf is rising back to the surface, clawing to get out, but he pushes that down too. It feels like warning bells are going off, alerting him to danger, but he can’t find an actual threat.

“Hey, Jungkookie, are you alright?” Yoongi asks, but then he falls silent as they make their way into the living room, and his gaze falls on Hoseok.

“Ah,” Hoseok says, startled. “Um, you’re here.”

“Did you not want me to come?” Yoongi asks.

“No, it’s fine. I wouldn’t want you to miss this,” Hoseok tells him. And then he shifts his gaze, and concern fills his features. He walks up to Jungkook to rest a hand on his shoulder. “Jungkook-ah, you look a little pale. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook manages to say passed the weight on his chest. “Just…why does Namjoon-hyung have so many flowers in his house?”

“Flowers?” Hoseok echoes, perplexed. “Oh! The floral scent? That’s his omega that came to surprise him.”

Whatever Hoseok says next turns into static noise, and Jungkook can’t hear him, can’t see him through his blurry vision, can’t smell anything except that overpowering floral scent. It’s everywhere; in his nose, his eyes, his mouth, all the way deep into his bones. He has a really bad feeling, deep in his gut. He thinks, it can’t be, not now, not here.

And then something hits the floor and shatters, silencing the room.

“…bunny?”

It’s so soft, so tremulous, said in complete disbelief, that Jungkook thinks it’s only the echo of a dream, something he’s kept locked away deep inside of him ever since he was ten years old.

But then he hears the voice again.

“Bunny? Is that you?”

He turns around, slowly. Seokjin-hyung stands among the shattered glass of whatever he was holding, staring at Jungkook with tears in his eyes and in his voice. His hair is long, twisted into a beautiful braid; his traditional omega robes are immaculate and elegant. Feathered earrings hang from each lobe.

He is exactly as Jungkook has always known him.

“Oh my god,” Seokjin gasps, a hand coming up to cover his mouth. “Bunny, oh my god.”

“Do you…know each other?” Hoseok asks bravely, as Yoongi glances between them. Namjoon looks just as confused, standing to the side of Seokjin.

“Yes,” Seokjin nods. There are still tears in his eyes, and one drop glides down his cheek. “We grew up in the same pack.”

This is too much. Jungkook has never talked about his birth pack with his hyungs. It was not a topic he’d ever felt comfortable discussing. It was too raw, it made him too vulnerable.

“I’ve known Jungkook since he was born.”

He wants to run to his hyung. He wants to wrap his arms tight around Seokjin, and never let him go again. He wants Seokjin to kiss his forehead and tell him stories; he wants Seokjin to make everything bad that’s ever happened to him just go away.

Instead, he takes a single step back.

The look on Seokjin’s face at his movement makes it seem as though Jungkook had hit him.

“Bunny,” Seokjin’s voice wavers.

“I told you not to call me that,” Jungkook tells him. His voice is hard, and Seokjin flinches.

“You did, I’m sorry,” Seokjin says. “I forgot. I haven’t seen you in years.”

“Whose fault is that?” Jungkook snaps. He feels anger simmering beneath his skin, but more than that, hurt overwhelms him.

“It was mine,” Seokjin admits, quickly, desperately. “Jungkookie, it was all my fault.”

No, Jungkook thinks, it was mine. It’s too much, to be confronted with Seokjin. Because Seokjin was from his old life, Seokjin knew things about him that his hyungs didn’t know. Seokjin could ruin everything, just by opening his mouth, just by telling the hyungs what Jungkook had done to him.

His hyungs would never see him the same way again.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He asks, and he sees the way Namjoon frowns in his periphery. It feels like a dagger to the heart, the way Namjoon looks so disapproving. It feels like Namjoon is taking Seokjin’s side.

“I was here to see Namjoon, but I didn’t realize…” Seokjin says softly, almost like he’s in a trance. He hasn’t looked away from Jungkook. He takes a subconscious step forward, towards Jungkook, but Namjoon’s quick hands come around his waist to stop him from moving.

“Hyung, be careful,” Namjoon chides softly. “There’s glass on the floor.”

It feels like a betrayal of the worst kind, watching them together. Seokjin matters to Namjoon, it’s obvious. Seokjin was going to take Namjoon away from Jungkook, and then he’d be all alone again.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jungkook repeats, more hysterical this time, because no one else seems to be taking this as seriously as him. No one else seems to care.

“Jungkook,” Hoseok says gently, worriedly, reaching out, and Jungkook backs away from him too. He doesn’t know what he wants, if he wants his hyungs closer or if he wants to be alone. It’s too much, this colliding of his old life and his new. He isn’t ready for it.

“Jungkook,” Seokjin’s voice warbles, desperation spilling over. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left you behind. If I could go back, I’d change everything.”

“Stop it,” Jungkook moans, hands coming up to grip at his hair as his head falls forward and he shuts his eyes tight. Everything feels like too much. “Stop it hyung. Stop saying that.”

“Bunny-”

“I said, fucking stop!” Jungkook snaps his head up, viciously snarling, a savage growl escaping his throat. Hoseok flinches backwards in shock, and Namjoon takes a step forward, as if to protect Seokjin.

“No, no,” Seokjin’s voice is filled with tears. He pushes Namjoon’s arm away in protest. “He won’t hurt me.”

But Jungkook already had.

It was the reason Seokjin had left him, all those years ago. It had been Jungkook’s fault. Jungkook had to believe that, because the alternative was too cruel – that Jungkook hadn’t done anything wrong, but Seokjin had left him behind anyway.

There are hands gripping onto him, tight on his arms, and there’s someone in front of him too, talking at him, but the voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard and the tight grip on his arms feels too much like the ropes that had tied him to the whipping post.

He loses it.

He shoves at those hands, pushing them away, desperate to escape their grasp. He hears yelling, and then another crash!, and when he comes back to himself, he sees Yoongi sprawled back on the floor, stunned. He’d crashed through the glass coffee table of Namjoon’s living room when Jungkook had pushed him, and now rivulets of blood trail down his fingertips and plip plop onto the hardwood floor.

Jungkook doesn’t move, but Hoseok does.

“Hyung!”

He crouches beside Yoongi, gently taking hold of his two upturned hands, inspecting the palms that are cut from the shards of glass. Jungkook feels sick to his stomach at the sight of the blood, at the mess he had caused because he couldn’t keep it together.

“Jungkook,” Namjoon calls. His voice is weird, a mix of chastisement and confusion. He doesn’t understand why Jungkook’s reacting like this, and Jungkook doesn’t want to explain it to him.

So he does the only things he’s good at.

He runs.

              ☾

Jungkook’s breath comes out in sharp pants.

The forest around him is quiet, but Jungkook had not taken particular care to remain silent on his run tonight. He’d heard the rapid scatter of prey as he’d raced by on the familiar path. His ears swivel as he picks up the hooting of an owl, and then it’s silent again. It had rained earlier, and he can still hear the trickle of raindrops onto tree leaves as he passes under the towering timber.

He steps out from behind the bare lower branches of the trees and up onto a boulder, and then the next and the next, until he’s at the top of a sharp cliff. Its jagged edges spread to either side of him like long-forgotten arrowheads; pointed up to the moon, but the edges dulled to the effects of time.

Far below him runs the river, snaking lazily through the valley on its way from the mountains of the northern border to the ocean farther south than Jungkook’s ever been. Here, in the floor of the valley, the river reflects the half moon, ripples of white moonlight amongst the black pooling water.

Jungkook feels most comfortable at nightfall. In the dark, everything is both heightened and muted. He sees more, hears more, tastes more.

He feels less.

He is only concerned with the path he walks. Wolves are night hunters, and Jungkook’s black pelt gives him a unique advantage. Wolves are predators, and Jungkook intends to remain at the top.

He will not become prey.

The stone is solid beneath Jungkook’s four paws, and he lifts his gaze to the moon above him, howling into the bitterly cold night sky, alone.

☽

Jungkook runs out on them so fast, it takes Hoseok a few seconds to realize he’s slammed through the front door and disappeared down the street. By the time Namjoon’s gone after him, Jungkook is gone. He’s yanked his scent back into him too, however he does it, and Namjoon comes back defeated, shoulders slumped, as Hoseok tends to the cuts on Yoongi’s hands.

“You’ll be fine,” he reassures Yoongi quietly, as they wait on Namjoon’s return. He’s almost whispering, because he doesn’t want to disturb Namjoon’s omega – Seokjin – who’s sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, quietly sobbing.

Hoseok feels embarrassed to see it, to see someone he doesn’t know looking so vulnerable, especially because he doesn’t know who this omega is to Jungkook. He doesn’t know what Seokjin had done to Jungkook, to make him react like that. So he looks back up to Yoongi instead, because despite everything, Yoongi would know what to do. He always does.

But then, it makes him even more flustered to see Yoongi’s gentle gaze, his warm expression. He hasn’t looked away from Hoseok once, not even when Seokjin has collapsed onto the couch in a mess of tears. Hoseok looks back down and drops Yoongi’s hands into his lap. The skin is already healing over, leaving no trace of a scar.

Yoongi opens his mouth, as if to say something more, but it’s then that Namjoon returns, looking absolutely crushed, and Seokjin rushes to greet him with a flurry of questions.

“Did you find him?”

Namjoon shakes his head, and Seokjin looks like he might burst into tears again.

“It’s going to be okay,” Hoseok consoles the omega. “Jungkookie needs this, sometimes. He’ll come back when he’s ready. And if not, we know where to find him.”

“You do?” Seokjin asks hopefully. “Can I come with you? I need to see him again. I need to talk to him.”

Hoseok bites his bottom lip, uncertain. He’s so fiercely protective of Jungkook, that he can’t knowingly put Jungkook into a situation like that, make him uncomfortable like that. “Um, no offense,” he says softly, rising to his feet from his crouched position by Yoongi. “But Jungkook didn’t have the best reaction to seeing you. I’d rather you let one of us talk to him first.”

“Oh, oh yeah,” Seokjin says faintly. “That makes sense. Just, please tell him that I want to see him. Give him the option, let him know it’s there.”

“I will,” Hoseok promises. Yoongi stands up then, beside him, and he’s looking over at Seokjin, appraising the omega.

“So you grew up with our Jungkookie, huh?” Yoongi asks, and Hoseok immediately recognizes his guarded tone. It’s Yoongi own protectiveness rising to the surface, and Hoseok watches Namjoon react in kind – he straightens up, moves over to stand by Seokjin’s side. When Yoongi talks like this, his words are full of traps.

“Hyung,” he says warningly, but it’s a little reluctant too. Hoseok knows he’s torn between defending Seokjin and siding with Jungkook.

“What?” Yoongi asks carelessly. “I’m just curious. I mean, you showed up here after all this time, out of nowhere. It just seems a little strange to me.”

“Um,” Seokjin says slowly, glancing between the three alphas. “Yeah, we grew up in the same pack. I’m older than him, so I took him under my wing, kind of. We were friends.”

“That didn’t seem like a reunion of friends to me,” Yoongi points out.

“No,” Seokjin agrees quietly. “No, it didn’t. I always thought when we met again it would be hard, but this was more difficult than I’d ever imagined. I don’t blame him, though. I deserved that.”

“So what happened?” Yoongi asks frankly. Hoseok is curious too. “You’re not friends,” Yoongi states. “And Jungkook freaked out when he saw you again. Give me one good reason I should even continue to talk to you, after you did that to him.”

“Hyung,” Namjoon says again, the warning more serious now.

“What?” Yoongi asks again, laughing mockingly. “Are you seriously telling me to stop defending Jungkook?”

“I left him,” Seokjin cuts in, before Namjoon can respond. The room falls silent, and Hoseok’s thoughts are brought to a grinding halt. “I ran away from our pack, and I left him behind. I had my own reasons for it, but I knew he wouldn’t forgive me when I did it. So that’s why he reacted the way he did. Because I loved that pup, and I left him.”

Yoongi backs down at that, because Seokjin’s voice wavers again. Namjoon pulls the omega into a hug, lets him cry again but this time into the alpha’s chest. He’s running a hand up and down Seokjin’s back, to soothe him, but Hoseok spots the conflicted expression on his face. And Hoseok thinks, what kind of pack did Jungkook grow up in, that an omega felt like they had to run away?

He thinks, Jungkook, what happened to you?

Jungkook does not contact any one of them for three days, so Hoseok knocks on his apartment door by the third afternoon. It’s silent, for a moment, and then the sound of footsteps gets louder before the door swings open and Jungkook lets him in.

“You took longer than I thought,” Jungkook tells him, after Hoseok kicks off his shoes and takes a seat on the couch. “I thought you’d come after me the moment I left Namjoon-hyung’s house.”

“I didn’t,” Hoseok says. “I was taking a look at the cuts on Yoongi-hyung’s hands, to make sure none of the glass got stuck when he healed.” Jungkook looks ashamed, for a minute. “Namjoonie went after you.”

Jungkook looks up, then, a little too eager and it ends up being far more honest than he probably meant it to be. “He did?”

“Mhm,” Hoseok nods. “Why, you think he wouldn’t?”

Jungkook shrugs. “Seokjin-hyung was there. Maybe Namjoon-hyung wouldn’t have wanted to leave him alone.”

“He wouldn’t have been,” Hoseok says. “I was there. Yoongi-hyung was there. Even if we weren’t, Namjoon still would have gone after you. You know that.”

Jungkook shrugs again, and Hoseok watches him, the way he’s fidgeting with the cuffs of his sleeves, the way his head is hanging down so that his hair covers his eyes. His phone pings, in the quiet of the apartment, and Jungkook scrambles to swipe at the screen. He deflates, after a moment, tucking his phone away. Hoseok wonders who he thought it would be.

“Are you jealous?” Hoseok asks, eventually, too curious to let it go.

“Jealous?” Now Jungkook looks up, scoffing. “Of who?”

“I guess…of Seokjin,” Hoseok wonders. “Namjoonie has always been extremely important to you, we all know that. So the idea that someone else might become more important…does it scare you?”

Jungkook looks away. “You’re making me sound really bad.”

“No,” Hoseok shakes his head. “I’m making you sound honest. So tell me, are you jealous?”

Jungkook releases a frustrated sigh, and leans back in his seat. “I’m not jealous,” he says softly. “It’s not like that. I guess I’m just-” and then his mouth slams shut, and he’s looking away again.

Scared, Hoseok’s mind supplies.

“Do you think Namjoonie would pick Seokjin over you, if it came down to it?” Hoseok asks him, voice soft like he’s talking to a spooked animal. “Will you make him choose?”

Jungkook looks extremely guilty, and Hoseok thinks he’s hit the nail on the head.

“I thought about it,” Jungkook confesses. “The first night, right after I left. I kept thinking, what can I do to make sure Namjoon-hyung stays, that he won’t go away with Seokjin-hyung if hyung asked him to?”

Now Hoseok understands Jungkook’s fear a little bit better. There are so many things Hoseok could say to Jungkook now – don’t you trust Namjoon?, don’t you trust us?, why would you think that of Namjoon? – but none of them are right. Jungkook did trust Namjoon, but Jungkook was also scared. Jungkook needed reassurance that none of his hyungs would ever leave him behind. He needed it far more than anyone else Hoseok had ever met, and with Seokjin’s return, Hoseok’s beginning to understand the roots of it.

“What do you think now?” Hoseok asks instead.

“That I was being dumb and insecure about it,” Jungkook grumbles, pulling at a loose thread on the couch. “I trust Namjoon-hyung. He wouldn’t go away like that. I just never expected Seokjin-hyung to come back like this. I never thought I’d see him again.”

“Do you think Seokjin isn’t good for Namjoon?” Hoseok’s curious. “Should we warn Namjoonie?”

Jungkook fingers tap on the arm of the couch. “Honestly hyung, I don’t know. I haven’t seen Seokjin-hyung since I was eleven. I don’t know if he’s the same, or if he’s changed. Namjoon-hyung probably knows him better than me.”

Nothing about Jungkook’s demeanor changes, and his voice is even and smooth. Still, Hoseok can’t help but think he seems so sad. Maybe it was the rain in his faint scent.

“You can know him again,” Hoseok tells him quietly. “You can re-learn everything about each other. He’s here, now, and you get to decide what to do next.”

Jungkook seems to ponder this. “Hyung,” he says slowly. “What did Seokjin-hyung say, after I left?”

He asks this quietly, so timidly, that Hoseok has to strain to hear him. “He cried,” Hoseok says truthfully. Jungkook doesn’t look any happier at this. “He said that he wants to see you again. He said he wants to talk with you.”

Jungkook finally looks up to meet Hoseok’s gaze. “Really?”

Hoseok nods. “Really,” he offers Jungkook a warm smile, and Jungkook seems to relax a little more.

“Did he say anything else?” Jungkook asks. “I mean, about us growing up together?”

It’s obvious how desperate he is to know what Hoseok knows. He can tell Jungkook thinks Seokjin’s bared his entire childhood out for his hyungs to see.

“He didn’t tell us anything,” Hoseok reassures him. “The only thing he said was that he left you, and that’s why you ran away like that. He didn’t say anything more. And I get the feeling he wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook murmurs. “Um, thanks for letting me know hyung.”

He’s retreating behind his walls again, Hoseok can tell. He’s turning inwards, trying to protect himself. Jungkook had only ever talked about what happened at the orphanage, on his podcast. What happened there, and anything that came after. He’s only told one story that took place before he was fifteen, but it wasn’t like his story about his angel was a bad one.

“Are you going to see him again?” Hoseok asks. “Will you talk with him?”

Jungkook shrugs. “I guess I have to. I can’t ignore him. We’re all too deep into this now.”

“You don’t have to,” Hoseok tells him. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“But I do,” Jungkook disagrees. “I don’t like to leave things unsettled like that. Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to Namjoon-hyung either.”

Hoseok feels a broad smile break across his lips. “You’re too cute,” he says, but it’s mostly because he feels so much pride welling up inside of him. Jungkook always ran, like it was his most instinctive reaction. So to hear him acknowledging the need to stay, to work things out, and not even only for himself, it was so much progress.

“When will you go talk to Seokjin-hyung?”

Jungkook thinks about it. “Maybe tomorrow? I don’t know. I’ll call Namjoon-hyung to see if he’s free. I just…I want Namjoon-hyung to be part of this too.”

“I know,” Hoseok agrees. Because he can see the fear that still lurks just beneath Jungkook’s nonchalant expression, the way he needs reassurance that Namjoon won’t leave him either.

“I have to apologize to Yoongi-hyung too,” Jungkook says, and his golden eyes flicker up to glance at Hoseok. He must be looking to see if he’s made Hoseok uncomfortable, but the older alpha only feels guilty that he didn’t talk to Jungkook sooner.

“Yoongi-hyung’s fine,” Hoseok reassures him. “He was barely hurt, and he’s already healed. He knows it wasn’t your fault. Actually, I think he felt bad that he cornered you like that.”

“Still,” Jungkook says. “Just because he healed, it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.”

It’s so oddly serious that Hoseok’s struck dumb for a moment. “Okay,” he says finally. “I think Yoongi-hyung’s already forgiven you, anyway.”

“What about you?” Jungkook asks. “Forgiving Yoongi-hyung, I mean. Did you guys talk?”

“Not really,” Hoseok admits. “We were more worried about you. I just told him we needed to settle things, sooner rather than later. He’s coming over in a few days so we can talk about it.”

“Good,” Jungkook says. His voice is small. “That’s good, right?”

“It depends on Yoongi-hyung,” Hoseok shrugs. “But, I’ll try my best to make things right between all of us again, okay? I’ll try my best to fix everything, Jungkookie.”

☾

Namjoon’s house feels strange. Everything is the same, on the outside, the same way it’s been since he first saw it at sixteen. But once he steps through the threshold of the doorway, Jungkook’s overwhelmed by the floral scent that seems to permeate into every space and crevice of the house, sinking into the walls and floorboards. It’s not because Seokjin’s actively spreading his scent out; it’s only that Jungkook’s always been especially sensitive to picking up Seokjin’s scent, so that he’d always know where to find his hyung.

Seokjin’s floral scent is tinged with the faint scent of rain, of sadness, and Jungkook wonders if that’s his fault too.

“Jungkook, is that you?” Namjoon calls out, from further inside.

“Yeah, hyung,” he answers, moving into the living room. Namjoon is alone; but Jungkook picks up on the creaking floorboards upstairs as Seokjin moves around.

“I told him that you called,” Namjoon says. “And that you agreed to speak to him again.” Namjoon huffs out a small laugh. “He’s been so nervous all day, waiting for you.”

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows. “Why?”

“I guess he doesn’t want to say the wrong thing, and make you take off again,” Namjoon tells him. “So, please Jungkook, if you get mad, or if you don’t like something he says, just tell me. I’m here for you, okay? I’m always here for you. You don’t have to do this by yourself.”

His mouth feels dry, and Jungkook licks his lips. “Okay hyung,” he agrees. “Are you…are you going to stay with us?”

Namjoon shakes his head. “I thought about it, but no. I don’t want to get in your way. You guys might want to talk about things that you’ve never told me, and I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk about those things. Are you okay with that? I can stay with you if you want me to.”

“No,” Jungkook says after a moment. “It’s fine. I want it to just be me and him.”

“Okay,” Namjoon agrees. “I’ll just be upstairs, anyway. He’s set up dinner for you both out on the back porch.”

Jungkook hears the sound of footsteps get louder, and then Seokjin appears at the top of the stairs, hair braided, robes long and fitted, and he looks as beautiful as Jungkook’s always known him to be. He feels like a pup again, suddenly.

He doesn’t know what he wants, from Seokjin. He doesn’t know why Seokjin has come back into his life now.

Seokjin stops short a few feet away from Jungkook, looking unsure. Jungkook knows he’s supposed to say something, to greet him, but the words for that elude him. Before, back in their old pack, Seokjin wouldn’t hesitate to pull Jungkook into a hug. Now, Jungkook doesn’t know if he could handle that.

“Hi Jungkook,” Seokjin greets. His voice is soft, melodic; it reminds Jungkook of the songs he used to sing in the summer, when it would just be the two of them in the meadows of the forest.

“Hi,” Jungkook croaks. He clears his throat, and Namjoon glances between them, but doesn’t say a word.

“I made us dinner,” Seokjin tells him, and Jungkook’s eyes flicker to the back door. “I made all of your favourite things. Or, at least, your favourites when you were a pup.”

“Oh,” Jungkook says. “Thanks hyung.”

Seokjin retreats a little, slowly, to make sure Jungkook follows, and then more confidently when Jungkook moves with him to the back door. Seokjin moves out onto the patio, but Jungkook stops short at Namjoon’s hand on his shoulder.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Namjoon asks, his topaz gaze as serious as Jungkook’s ever seen it, and Jungkook nods his head. Namjoon’s eyes crinkle up a little, and his expression turns into something warm. “Okay, I’ll see you both in a bit. Call for me if you need me.”

Jungkook nods again, dutifully, and Namjoon graces him with a wide smile. “Have fun.”

And then they’re alone, and Jungkook’s steps out onto the patio and slides the glass door shut behind him. Seokjin’s standing by the table, back to looking unsure, hands gripping at the back of one of the chairs. “I made your favourites,” he repeats, like he doesn’t know what else to say, like he feels the need to convince Jungkook to sit down at the table.

Jungkook doesn’t reassure him, but he does sit down, which he thinks is close enough. Seokjin hastily sits down too, and then they are silent. It’s quiet for so long that Jungkook thinks Seokjin might not say anything at all, but then he hears Seokjin exhale tremulously.

“I’m sorry that I shocked you with how we met again,” he says softly. “I have a lot to apologize for, but I wanted to say this first. I’m sorry that you didn’t know I was here, at Namjoon’s house. I didn’t want us to meet like that again.”

Jungkook digs his toes into the wooden boards of the deck, still unable to look up and meet Seokjin’s gaze. “You couldn’t have known,” he mumbles down at his feet. And then, a little clearer, because he has to be sure: “You didn’t know, did you?”

“No,” Seokjin confirms. “I met Namjoon when he visited the town I was living in. And then I showed up now to see him because I wanted to ask him for help. I had no idea he knew you.”

“What did you need his help with?”

“Well, to find you,” Seokjin confesses. Jungkook can’t help it; his gaze snaps up to meet Seokjin’s across the table. He needs to know if Seokjin is telling the truth or if he’s lying. “I don’t have the same resources as Namjoon, not when it comes to tracking nomadic packs. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find you. But I thought that maybe an alpha like Namjoon could help me, so I came here to ask him. I really had no idea that he knew you, I still can’t believe my luck.”

Jungkook oddly feels like he might cry, which is strange because he hasn’t cried in years. But he can’t ignore the tight feeling in his chest or the lump in his throat. “You were looking for me?”

Seokjin’s face crumples, a little bit, at Jungkook’s question. Perhaps it’s because his voice is so small, perhaps it’s because it feels like an echo from their childhood.

Hyung, you didn’t forget me?

“Yes,” Seokjin’s voice wavers. “I have been, for years. But nomadic packs are extremely difficult to find, let alone track. After I left our pack, and I mean really left it, there was no way for me to find my way back to you. By the time I started really looking, two years had already gone by. I wish I had started sooner, but I was too scared.”

It’s too confusing, what Seokjin is saying. There’s too much that Jungkook doesn’t understand.

“I wouldn’t have been there, even if you had found our birth pack,” Jungkook tells him. “I failed my alpha trials.”

Seokjin’s mouth drops open. “What?”

“Or, it’s more that they kicked me out.”

“Wait, what?” Seokjin repeats. He sounds dumbfounded. “I…never expected that.”

Jungkook laughs, and it’s a little mean. “Why? They all hated me, hyung. No one liked me except you. So when my alpha trials came, they hunted me down at shot at me with wolfsbane-laced arrows.”

Seokjin gapes at him. His mouth opens and closes a few times. “But you escaped?”

Jungkook digs deeper, because he wants Seokjin to know how hurt he was. Sometimes, pain could be weaponized like that, used to cause even more damage. And Jungkook had always been good at hurting others.

“Escaped?” He echoes. “I guess I did, right after I was shot with an arrow. Do you know that wolfsbane leaves scare forever? Maybe it’s to remind you that it almost killed you. Because it did, because I nearly died. I would be dead, if my angel didn’t find me.”

“Your angel?” Seokjin repeats, faintly, and fuck, Jungkook thinks. He’s said too much.

“That’s all you got from this?”

“No, I’m sorry,” Seokjin says wetly. He keeps apologizing, he looks so heartbroken, but it doesn’t make Jungkook feel any better. His stabs at Seokjin doesn’t bring him any more satisfaction either. He looks away from his hyung, annoyed.

And then they’re silent again. Jungkook can hear the hitch in Seokjin’s breath every so often, like he wants to say something, but then he closes his mouth and retreats again. Maybe he’s scared of what Jungkook will say. Maybe he’s realized Jungkook is no longer the same pup he knew from years ago. Too much has happened for Jungkook to ever be that boy again.

Soon he hears movement, and looks back over to watch Seokjin lifting the covers off of the food he had prepared. A wave of nostalgia hits him, watching the older omega work. He wonders what it would have been like, if Seokjin had never left. He wonders what his life would have been like, if they’d always stayed together. Seokjin looks far more nervous than he did earlier, and Jungkook feels a surge of guilt. He tries to remind himself of why he came here, what he hoped to say, and the promise he’d made to Namjoon.

“Why did you do it?”

His voice is so quiet, it’s nearly imperceptible over the sound of the wind in the tree leaves. But Seokjin hears him anyway, his hands freezing momentarily, before he goes back to setting out the food.

“Why did I run away?” Seokjin clarifies.

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods.

Seokjin exhales, and he offers Jungkook a container with meat. “I hated our pack, Jungkook,” he says honestly. “They didn’t treat omegas right. They didn’t treat alphas right, either, but for me, as an omega, I felt trapped. I was technically still a pup, even though our pack acted like I was of age. They were going to trade me off to some other pack to cement ties, or whatever. I had no choice in anything I did.” Seokjin’s fingers play with the chopsticks in his hands. “So I ran away, to escape it. To escape my fate. I hated it there.”

And Jungkook understands, he does, but it’s not the answer he’s looking for. “Why didn’t you take me with you?”

Seokjin is quiet for a moment, and then he sets his food aside, and reaches for Jungkook’s hand. He lets his hyung take hold of his limp hand, and it is perhaps meant to be the start of both an apology and forgiveness. He doesn’t feel the need to pull away from Seokjin, not right now at least.

“Jungkook, I need you to understand something,” Seokjin says firmly. “When I decided to run away, I had no idea if I would actually make it. I didn’t have a real plan, and I didn’t know the forest like you did. I wasn’t trained for it. Jungkook, in all honesty, I thought I was going to die. I thought that they would catch me before I got too far, and that Alpha would kill me for my disobedience. And I was ready to accept that fate. I would have rather died than what was planned for me, in that pack. But I couldn’t make that decision for you. You were so young, how could I do that to you?”

Jungkook feels a pain in his chest like his heart is constricting, tightening, caving in on itself. “You hurt me anyway. I blamed myself for making you run away. I’ve always blamed myself. Do you know how it felt, waking up to find you gone? Thinking I’d never see you again? Fuck, hyung, you know what it was like for me, in that pack!”

A sob catches in Seokjin’s throat. “I know,” he warbles. “And I’ll live with that regret for my whole life. It was hell for me too, in a different way, and…I’m sorry that I didn’t take you with me. I’m so sorry for that, Jungkook. I wish I could go back and take you away from there. I made a mistake, and I hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

The apologies wash over him, and somehow, hearing Seokjin acknowledge it all, Jungkook feels his chest loosen. His hyung was back, from wherever he had gone. His hyung had left him for a long time, but he’d come back after it all. And Seokjin had wanted to find Jungkook after all this time too.

He doesn’t know if he can forgive his hyung completely yet, but he doesn’t want to keep pushing Seokjin away either. He couldn’t handle it if Seokjin left him again, right after coming back to him.

But maybe this was a start. Maybe sorry was the beginning he needed. Jungkook had been hurt so many times, but forgiveness still felt absolutely foreign to him. He hasn’t had the chance to practice it, not really.

“I want to forgive you, hyung,” he admits softly, turning his hand over in Seokjin’s grip so he can curl his fingers around Seokjin’s hand too. “So you have to promise me something. You have to give me the time I need to do that, to forgive you. Don’t go away again. Don’t leave me behind again. You have to promise me that, if you’re going to stay.”

“I promise,” Seokjin says, squeezing Jungkook’s hand. His gaze is so open; his eyes are so warm. He looks so happy, and Jungkook feels the faint echo of pride, the same feeling he had when he was only a pup and he made Seokjin smile. “I won’t leave you again, Jungkookie. Never again.”

“Okay,” Jungkook exhales, the fragile strands of trust taking hold of his trembling heart. “Hyung, I…I missed you.”

“Oh, bunny,” Seokjin’s voice wavers, and he pushes himself up so that he can come around the table and wrap Jungkook up in his arms. Jungkook closes his eyes, sinking into the deep floral scent, soothed by the sparks of happiness and love amongst the flowers. Seokjin’s petting the back of his head, the way he always used to when they were pups, and his hug is even warmer than Jungkook remembers.

“I missed you too, I missed you so much. I missed you every day that I wasn’t with you.”

They take a walk, after dinner, because Seokjin hasn’t been back in the City for years, and Jungkook’s biggest wish as a pup was to come to the City with his hyung. Namjoon’s house is only fifteen minutes from the river that cuts through the heart of the City, so they decide to walk there, leaning against the metal railing and peering out at the wide river.

They talk all the way into late evening, as the sun starts to set and night creeps high into the sky, stars twinkling in the faint purple glow. They don’t talk about anything serious, after Seokjin’s apology, but they have all the time in the world to talk about those things anyway. They talk about Namjoon, they talk about Jungkook’s work, they talk about memories from their birth pack. Seokjin laughs a lot, when he reminisces about Jungkook as a pup, and it pulls a few small smiles from Jungkook too.

The longer he’s in Seokjin’s company, the more Jungkook also realizes that he isn’t the only one who’s changed. Seokjin is different too.

Perhaps Seokjin had always been this way, and Jungkook hadn’t realized it because he was only a pup and Seokjin had been trying to protect him. Or maybe Seokjin had never been allowed to be himself, in their old pack, and Jungkook is seeing who he really is now.

Either way, Jungkook didn’t mind it. Seokjin is older, and wiser, but he is also not the perfect omega Jungkook had always thought him to be. And that’s fine. Jungkook thinks Seokjin’s love is more meaningful because of it, because he had his faults. Seokjin had run away, had left him behind, but Seokjin had also searched for him for years. He’d made himself come back to the City, a place he’d vowed he would never return to for fear of being found, just for the slim chance that an alpha might be able to help him find Jungkook.

They walk back along the same roads, passing by alphas and betas and even omegas who can’t seem to keep their eyes off of Seokjin as he walks by. The omega is tall and beautiful, glowing in the setting sunlight, and eventually Jungkook is so annoyed by their wide-eyed glances that he takes hold of Seokjin’s hand and tucks it under his arm.

Seokjin’s eyes crinkle up in amusement, at Jungkook’s silent display of possessiveness. It was like a child, almost. But Jungkook had never been allowed to publicly claim Seokjin as his, not ever in their birth pack, so he revels in it, a little bit, now. As a pup, he’d secretly only ever considered Seokjin to be his pack, and no one else. It feels good to be able to show it now.

Seokjin’s fingers curl in a firm grip around Jungkook’s arm, returning the claim. And Jungkook feels his wolf settle, no longer restless at the threat of other wolves taking Seokjin away.

“Where did you go, after you left the pack?” Jungkook asks, curious.

“I vaguely knew how to get to the City,” Seokjin tells him, a little surprised at Jungkook’s sudden question. “Because I’d gotten to go so many times. So I tried my best to retrace my steps. I managed to make it, and I went to the Omega Centre. They offer protection there, for any omegas who run from their packs. They know how to make us disappear, so our birth packs can’t find us.”

“Did you stay in the City for a while?” Jungkook asks. He wonders if they had been that close to each other, all along.

“No,” Seokjin shakes his head. “I left after a month. They found a place for me in the East, in a small farming village. I’ve been there ever since. I like it, in the smaller villages. It feels a little bit like our home in the forest. And I felt useful there too. I taught the omega pups about moon magic.”

Jungkook makes a soft noise of acknowledgment. “So you stayed there, until you came to find Namjoon?”

“Mhm,” Seokjin murmurs. “I met him when he was passing through one day. I could tell he liked me, but…I don’t know. It’s hard, trusting alphas with what our birth pack was like. They’re not all like you, bunny.” He laughs, but it’s half-hearted.

“Namjoon-hyung is an amazing alpha,” Jungkook tells him, glaring over at an alpha who passes on Seokjin’s side and makes it a little too obvious that he’s scenting the air around the omega. “You won’t find anyone better than him, really. He’s not like the alphas you’re thinking of, hyung.”

Seokjin’s laugh turns into bubbling giggles. “You sound like you want me to mate him, bunny. I don’t know him that well, not yet.”

Jungkook thinks about it. Honestly, if Namjoon had to mate someone, Jungkook would pick Seokjin over anyone else. He can’t imagine letting anyone else get close to his Namjoon-hyung like that, and having to accept it. Besides, in the brief moments he’d seen them together, Jungkook had thought they really suited each other. It wasn’t anything obvious, or loud, but it was in the way their eyes followed each other around the room, in the way they both sought reassurance from each other.

“I wouldn’t be mad about it,” Jungkook says, happy with how honest he can be, warmth leaking into his voice, and Seokjin leans into him as he breaks out into laughter again.

That’s how they walk back into Namjoon’s house. The older alpha looks bemused at their high spirits, but even more, he looks so relieved at Jungkook’s contentment.

“Everything’s okay?” He asks.

Jungkook nods. “Everything’s okay.”

☽

Work picks back up, suddenly, and Jungkook is assigned so many tasks that he doesn’t have time to record a new podcast for the week. It makes him a little sad, but he also feels a little relieved. His thoughts are still too messy, and he has no idea what he would talk about. He’s worried that he’d be too careless, that he might let something slip that he hadn’t meant too.

He texts Seokjin, the night after their talk, after he’d gotten his hyung’s number.

I haven’t told the hyungs about our birth pack, he says. Please don’t tell them anything either.

Seokjin takes a few minutes to respond, the bubble popping up and disappearing a few times, but eventually the answer pops up on Jungkook’s screen.

Okay, he sends back. You can trust me.

It’s obvious Seokjin wants to know why Jungkook hasn’t ever mentioned his birth pack, but the thing about Seokjin’s guilt is that he’s weak to whatever Jungkook asks of him. And maybe it’s a little wrong to take advantage of it, but Jungkook isn’t asking for a lot. Besides, Seokjin owes him, and if he keeps this secret for Jungkook, it means Jungkook could trust him again, could really trust him again.

Eunju keeps inviting Jungkook to all sorts of different meetings and Alpha Guard events, and she keeps referring to Jungkook as her protégé.

“You’re the best out of my batch of trainees,” Eunju informs Jungkook with a wink. She’s holding a glass of champagne. Jungkook had turned his down because the bubbles always made him get hiccups. “You’re going to go far, Jungkook-ah. I want you to succeed, in this. You have so much promise.”

“Thank you,” Jungkook accepts the praise gracefully, keeping an eye on how many drinks his supervisor is consuming. Most likely, he’ll have to drive Eunju home again, to her omega mate who thinks Jungkook is precious and always gives him fruit to take home.

“See that man there?” Eunju nods her head in the direction of a group of alphas. There is one who stands out from the rest, tall and strong, exuding power even in his relaxed stance. “That’s Yejun. Best of the best. He handles all of the Alpha Guard’s more…delicate duties.”

“Delicate?” Jungkook frowns.

Eunju nods. “You’ve seen a lot, Jungkook. But the Alpha Guard protects more than just omegas on their patrols, more than standing guard during pack negotiations. Some things have to be handled away from the public eye, so that we don’t get a mass panic. There are some horrible, awful things in this world, Jungkook,” Eunju says gravely. “And we are here to offer our protection, through it all.”

Jungkook knows. It was one of the main reasons he’d taken an interest in the Alpha Guard, after all.

“God,” Eunju shudders then, as if to curl into herself a little bit. “There was this one situation, years ago, at one of the alpha orphanages. It still keeps me up at night, when I think about it. If I think about what those pups suffered through. Why did it have to happen to them, I always wonder. They already had nothing, no pack, no family. Why did it have to be them?”

She’s not looking for an answer, and Jungkook doesn’t have one.

And then Saturday comes, and Jungkook spends the day with Seokjin, slowly relearning everything about his hyung, slotting the puzzle pieces of his old life together with his hyung’s new one. Perhaps it should have felt difficult, after all this time, but Jungkook and Seokjin had always been close.

He’s pulled away from Seokjin in the late afternoon, by the rapid pinging of his phone. Jimin’s spamming him with messages, with too many exclamation points, because he’s finally back in the City, and he wants to see Jungkook.

It still amazes him, how much Jimin likes him, how much Jimin likes having Jungkook in his life.

Jimin greets him at the door with a big smile and a tight hug. He hugs Jungkook even tighter than Hoseok does, going up on tiptoe to wrap his arms up over Jungkook’s shoulders. When he pulls back, his hands linger on Jungkook’s chest, and Jungkook’s eyes catch on his pink lips. He wants to kiss Jimin again. He hasn’t seen Jimin in two weeks, and Jungkook wants to kiss him again.

Jimin laughs, and then he slides his hands up to cup Jungkook’s face in his small palms, thumbs brushing at Jungkook’s cheeks. He looks happy. “You can kiss me, you know. You’re allowed to.”

So Jungkook does, leaning down to press a hot kiss to Jimin’s soft lips, his hands going to grip Jimin’s hips and pulling him even closer. Jimin lets out a tiny noise of surprise, but then he melts into Jungkook, still giggling a little bit.

Eventually the kiss shifts from something heated and claiming to something softer, more gentle. Jungkook keeps his eyes closed as Jimin presses a whole bunch of chaste kisses to his lips, only opening his eyes again when Jimin finally draws back. He looks stunning; pink-cheeked and bright-eyed, lips swollen and a little wet.

“I missed you,” Jungkook says quickly, honestly. He’s glad Jimin is back home, back in Jungkook’s arms again. Jimin is not fragile, but Jungkook can’t help but want to treat him gently, with soft hands and soft words. He doesn’t want to hurt Jimin, not ever.

Jimin makes a soft noise of amusement, the corners of his lips turning upwards into a big smile. “Yeah, I kind of got that. I missed you too, Jungkookie.” He leans up again, to press his nose to Jungkook’s scent gland and he lets out a tiny pleased sound at the deep woodsy scent. His nose skims along the skin of Jungkook’s neck as Jimin leaves his own cinnamon sugar scent behind. Jungkook rests one hand at Jimin’s lower back to steady him as the omega sways forward in pleasure.

Eventually Jimin pulls back, looking extremely pleased with himself, and he pulls on Jungkook’s hands, tugging him further into his apartment, and Jungkook realizes he’d been so desperate for Jimin’s touch they hadn’t even made it out of the entry-way. He flushes, a little bit, as he follows Jimin into the living room.

He hadn’t realized just how much time he spent with Jimin until the omega had left him for two weeks. Bereft of Jimin’s smiles, of Jimin’s laughter, Jungkook’s solitude had felt almost suffocating. But in Jimin’s apartment, Jungkook finds pieces of himself: his sweater thrown over the back of the couch, the last record he’d picked out still leaning against the record player, the book he’d pulled off Jimin’s shelf still on the coffee table. He likes these pieces of himself, here in Jimin’s life. He likes that Jimin hasn’t put it all away.

“I was just checking on my plants,” Jimin tells him, letting go of Jungkook’s hands so he can move over to the shelf of plants at the windowsill.

There are a few new ones that Jimin must have brought back with him from his hometown, and in the corner the record player is crooning gently, a song Jungkook doesn’t know but Jimin sings along to, just under his breath. Jungkook takes a seat on the couch as he watches Jimin climb the small stepstool to put one of the plants into a hanging basket. There’s something so soothing about Jimin’s home, about being in Jimin’s space and watching the omega go about his day.

“How was your trip?” Jungkook asks, as Jimin waters each of his plants, checking their leaves.

“Oh, it was fine,” Jimin sighs. He looks a little downtrodden. “It’s just tough, seeing my parents sometimes. They didn’t want me to look for a new pack, so they feel a little embarrassed of me, when I go home. They think it’s Taehyung’s fault that I decided to leave.”

“Why would they think that?” Jungkook asks, curious.

Jimin finishes watering his plants and puts the small baby blue watering can aside. He comes over to join Jungkook on the couch. “Taehyung wasn’t born into our pack,” Jimin tells him. “So he’s always been considered a bit of an outsider. Our pack didn’t make it a secret that they were happy to see him go, even though his halmoni wanted him to stay. I guess my decision to leave was kind of because of him, but I had other reasons too.”

“Like what?”

“Arranged matings,” Jimin says. His voice is small now, troubled, like he wants to be mad but instead he’s deeply hurt. “I always thought it was an outdated practice, but it turns out they just call it creating pack diversity to make it sound better. I’ve never understood why they wouldn’t accept Taehyung, but they were ready to ship me off to whichever alpha they thought was best.”

Jungkook frowns. “That’s illegal,” he says, because it is, because he’s learned this in his training with the Alpha Guard.

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen,” Jimin says quietly. “A lot of old school Pack Alphas think it should be legal again. They think that they should have the right to decide what goes on in their packs. They don’t like Head Alpha stepping in.”

“So you left,” Jungkook murmurs. Jimin’s story is so eerily similar to Seokjin’s, it makes it difficult to keep holding on to any of the residual anger he feels at Seokjin’s disappearance, not when he hears the echoes of Seokjin’s story in what Jimin’s saying now. “They didn’t stop you?”

“They tried,” Jimin snorts in contempt. “My parents tried to guilt trip me, but I think it was only because our Pack Alpha told them to. For someone who kept going on about how he should be the only one with any say in how our pack was run, he sure had a hard time keeping me in line. There was nothing he could do to make me stay, not once I decided to go.”

“I’m glad you left,” Jungkook tells him. Maybe he never would have met Jimin again, if the omega hadn’t left, or if he had decided to do as his Pack Alpha commanded.

Jimin’s expression clears into something much brighter, and he laughs. “Me too,” he says warmly, tucking his toes under Jungkook’s thigh and leaning his head against the back of the couch. “I’m glad I came to the City, and that I got to meet you.”

Jungkook feels embarrassed. “I’m not that special.”

“You are,” Jimin argues, smiling. “You’re so interesting to me, I’ve never met anyone like you. I always expect you to act one way, but you’re not what you seem.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like…the way you give off this menacing aura, like you’re warning people to stay away,” Jimin tells him. “But when I get close, that’s not right at all. You don’t like being alone, even if that’s what you pretend you want.”

It’s very honest, and Jungkook has to look away. “I’m not special for being like that. There are a lot of people like that.”

“You’re right,” Jimin agrees, and Jungkook looks back up to meet his gaze. “I’m like that too. I hate it, being alone. I hate that I live here, in this big apartment, all by myself. I hate that I don’t have a pack right now. I actually thought that I might have been annoying to you, when we first met,” he admits, a pink flush warming his cheeks. “Because I was coming on so strong. I just felt that we were similar, in that way. You felt so familiar to me. You don’t like being alone, and I don’t like it either. But we’re not alone now, are we?”

No, Jungkook thinks. And maybe that’s why it was so hard for him to pretend, with Jimin. To pretend he preferred loneliness, to pretend he was better off all by himself. Nothing was better than being with Jimin.

He wraps a hand around Jimin’s wrist to tug the omega closer, pulling him to Jungkook’s chest, and kissing him deeply, before wrapping an arm around Jimin’s waist to pull him in so Jungkook could nose at his neck, leaving his scent behind, covering Jimin like a blanket.

Jimin wasn’t alone, and neither was Jungkook now.

☾

“

…do any of us truly know the path we walk on? I mean in the sense of your journey through life. I guess it’s easy to look at another person and think they have it all, that their life seems so perfect. But I think there’s no point in that. I can’t be someone else, even if I wanted to be. I’m only me, and I have to believe that’s enough.

I get so much love, from my hyungs. My life, my path, would be very different without them. And in the same way they give me so much, I have to believe I’m enough for someone else. I hope I am. I want to be. I’ve changed so much, through my life, with everything that’s happened to me, that I sometimes wonder if I was always meant to be this person, or if there was some better version of myself I was supposed to be, if all this shit didn’t happen.

Who would I be? Who was I supposed to be? Are they satisfied with who I’ve become?

When I think back to my earliest memories, when I was still a pup, I was only a boy who found the whole world to be too big. I was a little kid who grew up suddenly, without really realizing it, who got lost along the way. It feels like I grew up faster than anybody else, like I lost something because of it. All I can do is run towards the sun rise every single night, hoping I’m on the right path. Hoping that I’m meant to be me. I just…want to find my time to be.

So here’s a song for my angel. I’m inspired by my angel, who always sees the bright side of things, who always makes the little things count, who makes me feel like I can be the best version of myself. I think…I’m really starting to see the best things that life has to offer.

Settle down with me
Cover me up, cuddle me in
Lie down with me
And hold me in your arms

And your heart’s against my chest
Your lips pressed to my neck
I’m falling for your eyes
But they don’t know me yet
And with a feeling I’ll forget, I’m in love now

Kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love
We’re falling in love
We’re falling in love

☽

Jungkook’s woken up by harsh pounding on his front door.

It pulls him from his deep sleep, and he feels disoriented for a second, before his wolf snaps to attention, scenting the aggression in the air. There is a threat outside his apartment door.

He moves silently through his apartment, dressed only in a pair of old sweatpants and his Alpha Guard dog tags, towards the front door. The pounding on the door doesn’t let up, and Jungkook thinks there is something familiar about the minty fresh scent.

He opens the door to a fuming beta, who shoves at Jungkook’s chest the moment he sets eyes on the alpha. The door swings shut behind Taehyung, and Jungkook immediately retaliates, pushing Taehyung back against the door hard, pressing his forearm against the beta’s chest to keep him from moving.

“What the fuck?”

“I told you to leave,” Taehyung snarls. His chest is heaving, beneath Jungkook’s arm, and he’s straining against Jungkook’s hold. “But you keep coming back! So I’m telling you now: stay the fuck away from Jimin.”

Jungkook laughs, incredulous. He stares at the beta in disbelief. “Why would I do that?”

“Because I told you to,” Taehyung snaps. When Jungkook laughs again, Taehyung shoves at his bare chest, nails digging in deep, fingers catching on the dog tags around Jungkook’s neck. “The fuck? You’re a Guard? They just let anyone in, huh?” Taehyung’s fingers pull, and the chain snaps from around Jungkook’s neck, the metal tags falling to the floor, forgotten. “Jimin might think you’re a regular alpha, but I know exactly what kind of monster you really are.”

Jungkook’s laughter stops, abruptly. He’s wary of Taehyung now, watching him snarl against the restraint of Jungkook’s arm. Something abruptly feels very wrong, and very familiar, like a déjà vu of something Jungkook’s tried to forget. “Excuse me?”

“I came here to warn you again,” Taehyung growls. “Stay away from Jimin. Don’t talk to him, don’t text him. Lose his phone number. If I see you hanging around him again, I’ll tell him everything.”

Anxiety churns in Jungkook’s gut. His wolf is whining, unsure, unsettled, but yipping at the minty scent, like Jungkook should recognize it.

“What exactly do you think you know about me?” Jungkook asks. He’s always been careful, he’s never let anyone close enough to see. How could a stranger know anything about him, about what he’s worked so hard to keep inside?

Taehyung scoffs, but his eyes are bright, his one brown eye and his one gold eye, like he knows something that’s going to shatter Jungkook’s world to pieces.

“Do you know what I see, when I look at myself in the mirror?” Taehyung asks him, leaning in so close that all Jungkook can see are those glittering eyes. “I see myself, and I see you. I see my eyes, and I see yours. I see you looking down at me with those gold eyes, with the order to kill me, right after I watched you murder my friend’s father.”

Jungkook stomach drops so quickly he thinks he might vomit. He quickly releases Taehyung, backing away, as if he could protect himself from the revelation of who Taehyung really was.

But he is nine years old again, in that field, staring down at a human child who is calling him a monster.

“Do you think I should tell Jimin?” Taehyung asks sarcastically, viciously. “Should I tell him about what you did to me? Should I tell him you’re the reason I could never go back home, that I lost my family, my friends, my whole life? Who do you think Jimin would pick, when I tell him?”

“Don’t, please,” Jungkook croaks. His mind is whirling; he doesn’t know what to do next, what to say next. His breath feels like it’s too thin, too fast. He doesn’t want to know any more than this. “Don’t tell him.”

“Jimin doesn’t know,” Taehyung tells him. “He doesn’t really know what happened to me. He knows I was a human, but I never told him how bad it really was, what you did to me. I never told him, because it’s a horrible story and my life is more than what you did to me. But now you’re here, and you want Jimin? You think I’d ever let you get close to him? He’s mine, and I won’t let you take him. Not after you took everything else from me.”

Jungkook doesn’t know what to say. How could this have happened; why would this have happened? Why did it always feel like every time he managed to take one step forward, something was always there to drive him two steps back?

“So stay the fuck away from him,” Taehyung warns one last time, glaring at Jungkook with fire in his eyes. “Stay away, or I’ll tell him everything.”

He turns around and leaves, slamming the door shut behind him.

And then it’s silent.

Jungkook drops to his knees, his head in his hands, like suddenly his body is incapable of supporting his weight. Why why why? Why did this happen? Why couldn’t the bad things stay in the past? Why couldn’t he be happy with Jimin? It was all he ever wanted: to be loved, to be happy. Why wasn’t Jungkook allowed to have that too? Why did his past always tear apart his future?

…plip…plip…plip…

He’s crying, he realizes abruptly. The teardrops hit his grey sweatpants, leaving small wet dots behind. Jungkook can’t remember the last time he cried. Maybe when he was a pup.

And then the sobs break out of his chest, like they’d been trapped there the whole time, guttural, thick, painful. He falls back to sit against the wall, drawing his knees tight to his chest, hugging them in and burying his face in his arms.

He cries for a long, long time, like there is no end in sight.

☾

Hoseok waits until the sun is setting in the late April sky, before he knocks on Yoongi’s apartment door.

The older alpha appears, a few moments later, surprised at the sight of Hoseok at his doorstep.

“Can I come in?”

Yoongi nods silently, opening the door wider and letting Hoseok pass through. He follows Hoseok back into his apartment, leaning against the arm of the couch and he watches Hoseok pace back and forth, wearing a hole into his floor.

“Hey,” Yoongi says. “What’s wrong?”

Hoseok heaves a sigh and stops pacing, turning to face the other alpha. He chews on his bottom lip for a second, unsure.

“If I did something that would get me in trouble, you’d protect me, right?”

Yoongi blinks, evidently surprised, but he nods. “Yes,” he says slowly, seriously. “But…what did you do?”

“Nothing yet,” Hoseok tells him. “It’s something that I’m going to do. Something that will get me into a lot of trouble, if I’m found out. I just…look, I’m not an alpha like you or like Namjoon. I didn’t ever learn how to protect myself, like that.”

“I know,” Yoongi murmurs.

“And, I’m okay with that,” Hoseok continues.

“I know,” Yoongi says again. He’s watching Hoseok with warm eyes, as dark as his coffee scent.

“I haven’t forgiven you yet,” Hoseok reminds him, but Yoongi doesn’t look bothered. There’s a smile hiding in the corners of his lips, and Hoseok feels himself grow warmer. “Hyung, you’re not forgiven.”

“I know,” Yoongi says a third time, eyes crinkling in amusement. “I’ll protect you, Hoseok-ah. Tell me what you want me to do, and no one will touch you.”

Hoseok feels electricity spark under his skin. “Ah,” he says softly. “I didn’t mean to make you do this, if you didn’t want to. Me forgiving you doesn’t depend on you doing this.”

“I’ll always protect you,” Yoongi says quietly, firmly, pushing himself up to standing. “What do you need?”

“Your car,” Hoseok tells him. “I need you to drive me to work.”

“To the hospital?” Yoongi frowns, confused. “Why now? I thought you didn’t have a shift.”

“I don’t,” Hoseok confirms. “I have to get something from the hospital, and it’ll be less busy, at this time of day.”

“Okay,” Yoongi says, and he doesn’t ask anymore question. He only goes to get his car keys.

Twenty minutes later, they’re pulling into the hospital parking lot. “Just stay here,” Hoseok tells Yoongi. He’s nervous, and he wishes he could have Yoongi come with him, but that would be more suspicious. “I just need to grab something, and then we can go.”

He leaves the older alpha behind, despite the questions in Yoongi’s eyes, and walks up the stone steps and into the hospital.

Ten minutes later he’s out, back in Yoongi’s car, bag tucked securely at his feet. Yoongi has picked up that something is very, very wrong, and he keeps shooting Hoseok concerned glances.

“Why did you need me to drive you?” Yoongi asks. “You could have just come alone.”

Hoseok drags his gaze away from the window, to look at Yoongi’s handsome profile. “I’m…emotionally compromised,” he says, and his voice breaks. Yoongi looks over at him, alarmed, and Hoseok grips his hands into fists in his lap. “I can’t tell you what I took, hyung. Not yet. Just…let me think about it, for a little bit.”

“Hoseok…”

“Please, hyung,” Hoseok whispers. Yoongi snaps his mouth shut, and Hoseok looks back out the window.

His gaze falls to the side-mirror, and in the distance he can still see the hospital they’d left behind, the tall stone building of the psychiatric institution for alpha pups.

The file in the bag at his feet feels like it holds the weight of the whole world.

☽

Monachopsis (n.) –  the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to your surroundings as a seal on a beach—lumbering, clumsy, easily distracted, huddled in the company of other misfits, unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended habitat, in which you'd be fluidly, brilliantly, effortlessly at home.

Chapter Text

All I wanted to do was try to live the life that was inside me, trying to get out. Why was that so hard?

Hermann Hesse, ‘Demian’

☽

The Palace of the Mages is a tall, expansive building made up of white marble and towering columns. It stands alone in the middle of a plaza, with the surrounding buildings pushed back on the other side of the four roads that border the sprawling square. The Palace dwarfs the surrounding buildings, so that no shadow is cast upon the stone, or the many open skylights along the flat roof that allow moonlight to pour into the heart of it.

Seokjin makes his way passed the extravagant black marble fountain in the middle of the plaza – the First Omega – to climb up the stone steps that lead to the roughened oak doors of the main entrance. He pushes against the heavy weight of the wood, and steps inside.

Every single outside sound is immediately cut off as he shuts the dark wood doors behind him, and the sensation is almost deafening. His ears take a moment to adjust to the quiet of the tall, echoing building. The interior of the Palace matches the elegance of the outside – golden trim, luxurious detailing, gleaming wood.

Seokjin hasn’t been inside the Palace in years, not since he was a pup, still in his birth pack, and brought to the Palace by his pack to determine the strength of his moon magic. He’d been terrified, back then, staring up at the towering ceiling and shivering at the cool marble that left goosebumps on his skin.

But then the two omega Mages who had greeted their group had held their hands out, blocking the older alphas from moving forward. Only Seokjin had been allowed to pass.

No alphas allowed beyond this point.

It was the first time he’d ever been separated from his pack. It was the first time he’d realized what omegas were capable of, and the first time he’d ever thought about running.

He’s brought out of his memories by the soft tapping of footsteps on the stone floor, and Seokjin turns his head to watch as an omega approaches from the hallway that extends to the left, carrying a stack of files.

The omega slows down as he reaches Seokjin, coming to a stop a few feet away. “Can I help you? Are you lost?”

“Oh,” Seokjin says softly, a little startled. “I was just…hoping to talk to one of the Mages. I just moved to the City, and I’m looking for work. I was a teacher, back in the town I lived in.”

“I can take you!” The omega chirps cheerfully. “Follow me. I just have to drop these files off, and then we can be on our way.”

“Thank you,” Seokjin says gratefully, falling into step beside the smaller omega as they walk deeper into the palace. “I’m Seokjin, by the way.”

“Jimin,” the small omega shoots him a smile, leading Seokjin through a hallway lined with closed doors. He stops at one of the doors, pushing it open with one hand as he tucks the files close to his chest. “I’ll just be a minute.”

Jimin emerges from the room a few seconds later, empty-handed and grinning brightly, and he tilts his head to towards the end of the hallway, opposite of where Seokjin had come in. “Let’s go!”

He leads Seokjin down the length of the carpeted hallway that opens up into a large room. The room is one of many in the Palace, with tall ceilings and a skylight that allows moonlight to filter uninterrupted down to the marble floor extending upwards around them are three floors of old, wooden windows that offer light into work rooms for the omegas of the Palace.

Jimin leads Seokjin passed all of this, into another hallway, stopping at a different door and tapping lightly against the wood.

“Come in,” a voice calls from behind the door, warbled with age.

Seokjin rests his hand on the doorknob, pausing momentarily to glance back to the other omega. Jimin shoots him another bright smile.

“Good luck,” he whispers.

The omega Mage who meets with Seokjin says yes there is work for him here, but only after taking hold of Seokjin’s hands and closing her eyes, settling deep into her chair. Seokjin had shivered at the invocation of moon magic, and it raised goosebumps on his arms. She was only skimming the surface though, trying to determine the strength of Seokjin’s magic, but it reminded him of when he was a pup.

“Your magic is strong,” she’d said, once she’d opened her eyes again and dropped Seokjin’s hands. “Where have you been, child? Why haven’t you come to the Palace sooner? We would have accepted you immediately.”

Seokjin knows. That’s why his pack hadn’t allowed him to ever come back to the City, and it’s why they’d tried to use him as an offering to another nomadic pack.

She calls Jimin back, and the smaller omega flounces into the room with a warm smile. He immediately latches onto Seokjin.

“You’re going to be working here?”

“Yes,” Seokjin confirms, a little startled at Jimin’s friendliness, but charmed by the younger omega. “She said that I can start teaching again.”

“That’s amazing,” Jimin says sincerely, pulling Seokjin along so that he can give the older omega a tour of the Palace. “Do you have a specialty? Or are you teaching general classes?”

“General classes,” Seokjin says, and then he hesitates, chewing on his bottom lip. “Actually, I was never formally trained, not by the Palace. Everything I learned, I learned it in my pack. They let me teach, though, because my training was so extensive in my birth pack.”

“Really?” Jimin says, surprised. But he doesn’t pull away from Seokjin for admitting that he’s not quite like the other omegas who live and work in the Palace. “That’s rare. I mean, that a pack would be able to teach you so much about moon magic.”

“I grew up in a nomadic pack,” Seokjin tells him, softly. It still feels like a secret.

“Oh,” Jimin says, just as soft. “Oh, wow. That’s…I’ve never met someone from a nomadic pack. I didn’t think they still…”

“Existed?” Seokjin smiles wryly. “They’re good at hiding, at disappearing. That’s why the omegas are so good at moon magic. Nomadic packs couldn’t survive without us. We carved runes and put moon magic into a lot of our belongings, so that we remained hidden from anyone trying to find us. It’s not something the Palace teaches, not anymore. It’s kind of fallen to the wayside, because City packs don’t need to use that kind of skill.”

But Jimin’s looking up at him, awed. “Can you show me?” he asks, voice hushed like he thinks it’s supposed to be a secret. “Please? I’ve only ever read about that, about putting moon magic into personal things. I’ve asked around, but…no one here knows how to do it.”

Seokjin can’t help but laugh, relieved at Jimin’s enthusiasm and his eager curiosity. “I can show you,” he says warmly. “Do you have a workroom?”

Ten minutes later, they’re set up in one of the workrooms, a small room with a wooden table and high chairs, with a large bay window that looks out to the open courtyard that Seokjin and Jimin had passed through earlier. An old oak dresser is pushed against one of the walls, and Seokjin roots around in a few drawers to pull out what he needs.

“Okay,” he says, when he rejoins Jimin at the table. “You can carve runes into almost anything, but I’m going to show you how to put moon magic into something a little more fun.” He opens the case on the table between them, to the rows of little compartments filled with stones and gems and feathers. “In my birth pack, we’d carve runes into things like necklaces, bracelets, anklets, and earrings. Everyone in our pack wore whatever they liked, but these items all offered the same thing: protection, safety, security. A way for us to be found by our pack, and a way for us to find our way back to our packs. If you lost these items, you were no longer connected to the pack. That’s why these items are so important to nomadic packs. It’s also why if you look at pictures of packs from centuries ago, they’re all dressed up with this kind of jewelry. It’s not an aesthetic choice, it’s about pack survival.”

Jimin’s nodding along, his fingers reaching out to trace over one of the feathers. “I didn’t know any of that. They don’t teach that.”

“A lot of it isn’t really considered to be important anymore,” Seokjin shrugs. “Packs these days aren’t held together with something like this, so it’s kind of fallen out of practice. But nomadic packs depend on these skills from their omegas for survival.”

“Wow,” Jimin whispers. “Can you show me how to make something? I want to try it.”

“Sure,” Seokjin smiles. “I wanted to make a few things anyway. I have a couple of alphas in my life who need new earrings.”

Jimin blinks, and then he turns to look up at Seokjin. “So…you can make something for an alpha, to protect them?”

“Yes,” Seokjin nods. “A lot of wolves don’t realize just how much omegas have to offer. Alphas aren’t the only ones who can protect the pack. They’re only as strong as the moon magic of the omegas in their pack.”

Jimin seems to ponder this. “I have an alpha I want to protect,” he blurts out, suddenly, and then his cheeks flush pink. Seokjin thinks it’s adorable.

“So do I,” Seokjin tells him, leaning in a little closer. “Here, let me show you how to do it…”

☾

In the light drizzle of the midnight rain, sounds are muted, muffled, blanketed by the thick grey clouds that block the moon from view. It’s almost too quiet, Jungkook thinks. Maybe it is meant to be the calm before the storm.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Jimin’s sleepy face appears in the doorway, annoyance stretched across his features at being so harshly awoken in the middle of the night. But then he looks up at Jungkook, and his expression swiftly changes to concern.

“Jungkook…?” He asks, voice deep and gravely from the sleep Jungkook had just pulled him out of. “What…?”

Jungkook surges towards the omega, and into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind him. And then, in stark contrast to the aggressive way he’d pushed his way inside, he cups Jimin’s face gently, between his two palms, pausing at the threshold of going any further. But even though Jimin is surprised, he doesn’t push Jungkook away. Rather, he’s pulling Jungkook closer, his hand gripping at the shirt just over Jungkook’s stomach.

Jungkook closes the space between them, kissing Jimin, slotting their lips together and pulling the omega in tight. He thinks maybe if he pulls Jimin close enough, they won’t be able to separate, ever. Jimin’s eager in his response, sliding a hand around the back of Jungkook’s neck to hold on tightly, gripping at his hair.

“Jimin,” Jungkook whispers against his lips, a visceral desperation tugging at his very soul. “Angel.”

“Mhm?” Jimin mumbles. His eyes are shut, but he slowly flutters them open at the sound of Jungkook’s voice. And then he seems to come back to himself a little more, drawing away so that he can see Jungkook better. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Jungkook shakes his head, his hands still gently cupping Jimin’s face, so he feels the movement in his palms when Jimin’s lips pull down into a frown.

“No, really Jungkookie,” Jimin says, his soft, sleepy voice leaking worry. “It’s like the middle of the night, and you look…you don’t look well. Tell me what’s wrong?” His voice curls up at the end, a sweet question, made even sweeter by his pouty lips and his sleepy eyes.

And then Jungkook realizes that he should have waited until morning to stop by, to make it less suspicious. But then maybe Jungkook would have come to his senses and not bothered to drop by Jimin’s place at all. It was a bad idea, and it’s still a bad idea. But right now, all that’s driving him is a desperation to see Jimin one last time before he has to say goodbye. He doesn’t know how long that goodbye will be; if he can find a way to be with Jimin again, or if he’ll have to say goodbye forever.

Right now, it’s looking too much like forever.

But he has to tell Jimin something. It’s the middle of the night, and Jungkook had barged into his apartment to kiss his breathless.

“I…I had a bad dream.”

Jimin blinks. His lips drop open. “A…what?”

Jungkook feels the tips of his ears go red, and he slowly draws his hands back from cupping Jimin’s face. It had been the first thing he’d thought of. But Jimin follows his movement, wrapping two arms around Jungkook’s waist and leaning into the alpha.

“A bad dream, huh?” Jimin says. He yawns, cutely, and sways Jungkook gently, almost like he’s trying to soothe him back to sleep. “Hate those.” His eyelashes flutter, and Jungkook’s about to bring him back to his bed, when Jimin suddenly straightens, blinking his eyes open wide. “Oh! I have something that might help!”

He untangles his arms from around Jungkook, and then takes him by the hand to pull him all the way down the hallway and into Jimin’s bedroom. Jungkook’s pushed down onto Jimin’s bed, and then he watches the omega putter around the room, opening a drawer to pull out a little brown draw-string pouch.

“Here,” Jimin says, and even in the dim lighting of the room Jungkook can tell he’s blushing. “I…made this for you. It might help.”

Jungkook takes the bag and loosens the drawstring. He upturns the bag and a ring falls out into the palm of his hand. It’s made of silver, thick and strong, modest. It’s undecorated, but Jungkook spots carvings along the inside band. His finger brushes over the indentations of runes scrawled along the inside of the ring.

“It’s to protect you,” Jimin blurts out, probably because Jungkook’s been silent for too long.

“I know,” Jungkook says softly, when he’s sure his voice won’t break. He feels a tidal wave of emotion crashing over him, too strong and too powerful to parse out. He has not owned something like this since he left his birth pack, and he doesn’t know if Jimin knows what it means.

Rings are meant for mates, but even more than that, Jimin and Jungkook are not pack. For Jimin to give him something that would tie them together, that would tie Jimin’s moon magic to Jungkook’s strength, it meant that Jimin recognized the strength of their bond. It meant that Jimin accepted Jungkook’s strength and protection as his own, and Jimin offered his moon magic for Jungkook to use. It was far more intimate than the protection offered by a pack. This was Jimin’s heart.

“Do you like it?” Jimin asks shyly.

“Yeah, I-” Jungkook can’t make his mouth work properly, or find any of his words. And then he slides the ring onto his thumb.

But it’s too big, and when Jungkook flips his thumb over, it slides off and back into the palm of his hand. He can’t help the soft huff of laughter, looking back up at Jimin to watch as his cheeks flush even pinker.

“Look,” Jimin says, pouting. “This was my sixth try. It’s really difficult to make these; I couldn’t go any smaller. But if you don’t want it…” He reaches out for the ring, but Jungkook closes his hand around both the ring and Jimin’s fingers, keeping them trapped.

“Nope,” he says. “It’s mine now. You said so.”

“So you like it?” Jimin checks, still looking unsure. His voice gets very tiny at the end, and Jungkook can’t help but smile, reaching up to slide his chain up from around his neck, the same one that holds his Alpha Guard dog tags. He unclasps the chain, and slides the ring on.

“There,” he says. “This is where it belongs.”

Jimin finally smiles. “A piece of me with a piece of you,” he says. And then he yawns widely, blinking at the end like it had surprised him.

Jungkook feels a surge of guilt at waking Jimin up so abruptly, at keeping him awake when he was so tired. “Ah,” Jungkook says. “You should sleep.”

He gets up, but Jimin blocks his way to the door. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m…leaving,” Jungkook says. This was more than he could have hoped for, as a goodbye, and he wants to remember it forever. He doesn’t want to forget how Jimin’s face looks when Jungkook kisses him, or how Jimin’s cheeks flush pink when he’s happy, or how soft Jimin’s voice gets when there’s barely any space between them.

“No you’re not,” Jimin says decisively, and then he moves to his dresser to pull out a pair of pajamas for Jungkook. “You came here because you had a bad dream, right? So stay here, with me.”

“I…” Jungkook hesitates. What if Taehyung finds out? He’s already risking too much by allowing himself a goodbye.

“That’s final,” Jimin shoots him a stern look, and Jungkook folds. He doesn’t want to leave, not yet, and he’s always slept better in Jimin’s apartment.

Once he’s changed, he slides into bed to lie down beside Jimin. “I’m tired.” Jimin yawns around his words, patting at Jungkook’s chest until his fingers find the ring. “Do you know what they mean? The runes inside?”

Jungkook hums softly. “Go to sleep, Jimin.”

“You called me Angel before,” Jimin murmurs, already half-asleep, eyes fluttering shut. Jungkook stiffens, thinking back and yeah, he did.

“They mean…” Jimin sighs, voice growing fainter as he struggles to go on. “Protection. Safety.”

“I know,” Jungkook murmurs.

Jimin turns over, burying his face in Jungkook’s shoulder, and says the last part so softly Jungkook almost misses it. “…love…”

And then he’s asleep, soft puffs of air against Jungkook’s skin, one foot pressed up against Jungkook’s leg.

Love, Jungkook thinks. He closes his eyes, and he wonders if he’s happy or if he’s sad. Jungkook can’t tell.

Four hours later, Jungkook snaps his eyes open, blinking at the faint glow of the clock. Outside, it’s storming – rain pounding against the windows, lightning flashing across the night sky, thunder rumbling overhead.

It’s the best time for him to leave. Jimin wouldn’t hear him go.

He pulls himself out of Jimin’s loose grasp, and he takes a moment to watch Jimin curl up into the warmth he leaves behind. He almost goes back to drop one last kiss to Jimin’s lips, but he’s too scared that the omega will wake up.

He changes swiftly, folding the pajamas and leaving them at the foot of the bed, and then he shuts the bedroom door behind him.

Out in the living room, lightning flashes across the room, and for a brief moment of stillness the room is lit up as if it were a picture – the first place Jungkook had kissed Jimin. He steps passed it, and into the kitchen, flicking on the light. He winces at the harsh white of it, and then rummages through the drawers until he finds paper and a pen. He sits at the table, writing out his goodbye, and then he leaves it propped up against the vase of yellow flowers at the centre of it. He stands up, hesitates, and then pulls off his chain to unclasp it and remove the ring, leaving it on the table too.

He can’t risk Jimin using the ring to track him down and find him. Not that he expects Jimin to come after him, but still. He can’t risk it.

He looks around one more time, committing it to memory: the overflow of plants in Jimin’s living room, the warm scent of cinnamon and sugar, the last album Jimin had shown Jungkook still on the coffee table.

And then, he leaves.

To my angel,

Love is so painful. Goodbyes are even more painful.

I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you this goodbye to your face. I guess I’m just too scared to face you, because I think that you, more than anybody, could change my mind. You’ve somehow gotten passed all of my defenses, and I don’t even think you were really trying.

But the truth is that we won’t work. It was foolish to think that we ever could. We’re too different, angel. I’m too scared to show you the things about me that make me who I am. That make me the person I’ve become. I’m scared that you’ll leave me if I show you, so I’ve taken the first step instead.

I know this must hurt. It’s so painful it feels like I’m dying.

If there’s one thing I can do, though, it’s to show you what you’ve done for me. How you’ve changed my life.

I’m not sure if you love me, or if I’ve only imagined that you do. Even so, even if it’s only in my imagination, it has made me the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Waking up each day to know that you were in my life, that you wanted me in yours, that you could smile because of me – I can’t explain how much happiness you’ve given me. Please believe me when I tell you I’ve never known a happiness like this, like you.

I will cherish you forever.

I didn’t know love could be like this. I didn’t know life could be like this. Thank you for showing me. Thank you for giving me this happiness, even if it was only ever meant to last for a moment. I wish it could have lasted forever.

But now I have to go do what I’m best at. Disappearing. I’m going to disappear from your life. It’s the only thing I’ve ever been good at. Still, I can’t help but selfishly hope that you won’t forget me. Please don’t forget me.

Please, be happy forever.

Your Shadow,

Jungkook

.

.

.

p.s. I never told you, but I loved you the whole time

☽

Hoseok’s apartment is the cleanest it’s been in a long, long time.

He likes having a clean apartment, but his work schedule is so hectic that his apartment is often left in a state of halves: clean dishes drying on the rack with dirty dishes piled in the sink; clean laundry left in a basket on his bedroom floor with his dirty clothes littered around the room; his coats hung neatly in his closet with his most loved jacket thrown over the back of the couch.

But he’s made an effort today, to make it as clean as he can, because he knows what’s coming next could be messier than anything his apartment has ever seen before.

His ears pick up the footsteps in the hallway outside his door a split second before the knocking cuts through the silence of his apartment. He moves over to the front door, rests his hands on the doorknob and takes a deep breath.

He opens the door. “Hi hyung.”

Yoongi’s hands are shoved into the pockets of his coat, and he’s wearing a mask that covers most of the lower half of his face, probably because he’d walked here and he didn’t want anyone staring at his scars.

“Hi.”

His voice is deep, as dark as his coffee scent, and Hoseok shivers. “Come in,” he says, moving aside to let the older alpha pass. He takes a look down the hall once Yoongi’s stepped in, but the hallway is empty. Hoseok hesitates for a moment, and then closes the door.

Back inside his apartment, Yoongi’s already left the entrance and made his way into the living room. He’s sprawled out lazily on the couch, one leg propped up on the coffee table, but one look and Hoseok knows his nonchalance is a lie. He can see anxiety rippling just underneath the surface; the way Yoongi’s drumming his fingers against his leg, the way his eyes are darting around the room, never settling on any one thing for too long.

“We’re going to talk.”

Yoongi visibly startles at Hoseok’s sharp voice, and Hoseok winces. He didn’t mean for it to be so harsh.

“We need to talk,” he continues, softer. He moves over to the armchair just to the side of Yoongi. The older alpha watches him, but when Hoseok tries to meet his gaze, Yoongi’s eyes snap down to his lap.

“I know.”

Hoseok exhales. “Look,” he says gently. “I wish that this was just between the two of us, but it’s not. It’s bigger than us, now. We’ve gone and dragged too many other people in.”

Yoongi clenches his jaw, but he doesn’t disagree.

“It’s even trickier when it comes to Jungkook,” Hoseok goes on. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

Now Yoongi lets out a sound so soft Hoseok can’t tell if it’s a scoff or a noise of agreement. “So you’re doing this for Jungkook?”

“You’re not?” Hoseok counters, hurt leaking into his voice. Maybe it’s a little mean, because Yoongi immediately backpedals when he hears it.

“I always want what’s best for Jungkook,” Yoongi tells him. “But we both know that we can’t keep going like this.”

“You’re right,” Hoseok agrees, and Yoongi finally looks up, surprised. “We can’t. It wasn’t working before, and it sure as hell isn’t going to work now. Not after everything.” He pauses, taps his fingers against the arm of the chair. “And like I said,” he continues, softer. “We got a lot of people involved.”

Yoongi cocks his head, and maybe he’s hearing the same set of footsteps as Hoseok.

“What are you…” he starts, but he’s cut off by the quick series of knocks at Hoseok’s front door.

Hoseok jumps up, ignoring Yoongi’s questions, and swings the front door open. “Hi,” he says, maybe too relieved. And then he blinks in surprise.

Taehyung’s leaning against the doorframe, one arm propped up, sunglasses perched lazily on his nose. His tongue darts out to swipe at his bottom lip when Hoseok meets his gaze.

“Hey,” Taehyung says, voice deep and gravely and uncaring. He pushes himself up from the doorframe, and saunters passed Hoseok and into the apartment.

“What…?” Hoseok murmurs, quickly closing the door and turning to face Taehyung again. “Are you drunk?”

Taehyung scoffs out a laugh, kicking off his shoes. “No,” he says, and Hoseok can’t smell any alcohol on him but something about Taehyung seems so off, so jarringly different than his usual thoughtfulness. The beta makes his way further into the apartment, despite Hoseok’s protests. “I’ve already had one messy confrontation this week, so here’s to another!”

He lifts his arms in a mock cheer, and Hoseok grabs his hands from behind to try to shove them back down. “Taehyung, what the hell?”

“What?” he asks innocently, sunglasses blocking his eyes from Hoseok’s gaze, and it makes Hoseok uncomfortable. It’s so obviously meant to be a barrier, to create distance, and when Hoseok reaches up to slide them off, Taehyung ducks away, pulling his hands from Hoseok’s grasp. “Don’t do that.”

“Tae…”

“What the fuck is this?” Yoongi snaps. Hoseok whirls around, startled. The other alpha is tense, hands curled into fists. “Hoseok, what the fuck? You invite me here to talk, and then invite…him?”

“Do I know you?” Taehyung laughs, twirling around and then collapsing into the armchair Hoseok had previously been occupying, spreading out lazily with his legs hanging over one side.

“I recognize your scent,” Yoongi growls, but he’s looking at Hoseok like Hoseok’s somehow betrayed him.

“Hyung,” Hoseok starts, but he’s cut off as Yoongi pushes himself to his feet. “Hyung!”

He darts forward, pushing at Yoongi’s shoulders and the older alpha falls back against the couch with a startled noise. “Stop it!” Hoseok snaps. “Stop trying to leave. I said we were going to talk, so we’re going to talk!”

“You didn’t tell me that you’d be inviting your hookup,” Yoongi retaliates, still straining against Hoseok’s hands to get up. Hoseok presses his leg against both of Yoongi’s, trapping him to the couch.

“Um,” Taehyung cuts in, raising his hand like he’s in school. “No hookup here. Just someone who was cock-blocked by a Min Yoongi. Maybe you know him?”

Yoongi looks furious, eyebrows drawn down and teeth bared, and Hoseok exhales noisily. He’s annoyed at both Yoongi and Taehyung, and he wonders why he always ends up so attached to people who make his life difficult.

“Tae, shut up,” Hoseok snaps, and Taehyung mimes zipping his mouth shut, eyes wide with innocence. When he’s sure the beta won’t interrupt again, Hoseok turns back to Yoongi. “Look,” he says. “I invited Taehyung here for a reason. But you need to let me talk.”

“Do I?” Yoongi asks, quirking an eyebrow. His lips pull into a sarcastic smile, and he’s still trying to push passed Hoseok.

“Yes,” Hoseok stresses, reaching out and grabbing Yoongi’s wrists, and then pinning them against the couch on either side of the older alpha. “You owe it to me, hyung.”

And that finally makes Yoongi pause. The smile’s dropped off his face now, and he looks up at Hoseok with serious, solemn eyes. He still looks conflicted, but at least he’s not fighting Hoseok anymore.

“That’s really hot,” Taehyung chimes in, breaking the tension. Hoseok visibly startles.

“Huh?” he asks, turning his head to meet Taehyung’s gaze. The beta’s propped his chin onto his fist, looking over at the two alphas unashamedly.

“That’s really hot,” Taehyung repeats. He waves his hand towards them. “The way you’re holding him down? Damn, can you kiss? I feel like it would be so hot if you made out.”

Hoseok gapes at him, and whips his head around to look back down at Yoongi. And then Hoseok turns beet-red; he’s standing over Yoongi, pinning his wrists down on either side of the older alpha and Hoseok’s practically in his lap. At his startled gaze, Yoongi quirks another eyebrow, but this time it seems far more sarcastic, almost mocking.

Hoseok scrambles off of the older alpha.

“Look,” he says, swallowing thickly, trying to find something to say. Embarrassment thrums hotly beneath his skin. “Taehyung, you need to stop saying stuff like that.”

“Why?” the beta asks. “Isn’t that why I’m here? To help you both sort out this whole…relationship drama? Get you in a better place?”

“No,” Hoseok denies.

“I think it’s a yes,” Taehyung sing-songs back, still so careless that it makes Hoseok worried.

“Hey,” Yoongi snaps, finally cutting in. He’s still where Hoseok left him, but he’s moved his arms to cross them over his chest. “I don’t know why Hoseok invited you here, for something that’s only supposed to be between us, but saying stupid shit like that isn’t okay. I get it,” Yoongi grounds out. “Hoseok is yours. Don’t fucking rub it in.”

Hoseok’s mouth drops open, and he can’t think of a single thing to say, but Taehyung releases a barking laugh. It’s as mocking as Yoongi’s sarcastic smiles, and Taehyung finally pushes himself up to sit properly in his seat, planting his feet on the floor. “Mine?” He asks, incredulous. “You think hyung got over you that fast? I wish Hoseok-hyung was mine, but he’s too caught up in his feelings for you. Damn, don’t fucking sit there and act like you don’t know how much Hoseok-hyung loves you. You can’t be that oblivious.”

“Tae!” Hoseok snaps, voice tremulous, startled, and his gaze darts between Yoongi and Taehyung. “Stop it, don’t…don’t say that.”

“Why?” Taehyung asks. “Why shouldn’t I say that? Because you never told him how you felt? How you feel? He’d have to be blind not to see it. That, or stupid. I think it’s just ridiculous that you’re both talking but no one’s actually saying anything.”

“What are you talking about?” Yoongi asks. Hoseok looks over at him again, nervous, but Yoongi’s voice is very strange. It’s thin, weak, vulnerable. He’s staring at Hoseok in desperation. “Hoseok?”

Hoseok swallows heavily. This conversation has completely derailed, and now he’s on the hook for his own stupid feelings. “Fine,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest, feeling brave or maybe just stupid. “Fine. So what, I like you. So what? It’s always been there, ever since we met, and I’m not ashamed of that anymore. I like you, Yoongi-hyung. I always have. And I get it, that you don’t feel the same, but just let me work at getting over this, okay? It might take some time, but I can do it-”

“Hoseok, shut the fuck up.”

Hoseok snaps his mouth shut, and he would be more offended, except Yoongi’s hands are shaking and his voice is shaking, and he looks too shocked for it to be faked.

“I’m sorry,” Hoseok says, genuinely.

“For what?” Yoongi laughs, but it’s strained, weak, pulsing with emotion. “What are you sorry for?”

“I guess…for loving you when you didn’t want it,” Hoseok whispers, unsure, but Yoongi shakes his head.

“I’ve always wanted it,” Yoongi tells him, raw and visceral and honest. He stands up from the couch and once again, Hoseok feels pinned in place by Yoongi’s dark eyes. “Fuck, Hoseok, it’s all I’ve ever wanted.” And then Yoongi pulls down the rest of his face mask and he’s kissing Hoseok – a hand on Hoseok’s jaw and a surprisingly strong grip tilting Hoseok’s face just so, and Yoongi slots their mouths together.

He licks into Hoseok’s mouth, wet and dirty, and Hoseok can’t help the tiny whimper that escapes the back of his throat, or the way his heart’s pounding in his chest.

“Damn,” Taehyung whistles, and Yoongi draws back. “See? I knew it would be hot.”

Yoongi’s anger has receded, now that he’s kissed Hoseok, settling into his usual calm and the steadiness that Hoseok so desperately relies upon. Yoongi wipes at Hoseok’s bottom lip with his thumb and then sticks it in his mouth the lick up the excess saliva, making a soft humming noise.

“Who are you?” Yoongi asks, more curious than upset at Taehyung’s presence now.

“Kim Taehyung, club owner, beta,” Taehyung salutes mockingly. “Wanted to date Hoseok, but it turns out he’s in love with you, so I told him he could either get under you or get over you.”

Hoseok chokes on his breath, but Yoongi still seems curious. “You told Hoseok to tell me how he feels about me?”

“Yep,” Taehyung pops the ‘p’. “I’m so nice, right?”

“Hmm,” Yoongi mumbles, finally turning to face Taehyung completely. And then Taehyung’s choking on his breath, almost losing his balance and falling from the armchair.

“What the fuck?!”

“What?” Hoseok asks quickly, glancing between them worriedly.

Taehyung’s gaping as he looks up at Yoongi. “Your…your scars.”

“What about them?” Hoseok asks, defensive, and Yoongi’s gaze starts to grow cooler.

But Taehyung reaches up to finally pull of his sunglasses, as if he wants to get a better look. “Suga has scars like that,” he says reverently. “He talked about it in a few songs. You…you’re not Suga, are you? Please say no. Please tell me I haven’t completely embarrassed myself in front of Suga.”

Yoongi looks dumbfounded.

“Um,” Hoseok laughs, unable to help himself. “Yeah, Yoongi-hyung is Suga. Why, are you a fan?”

Taehyung lets out a noise that sounds painful. “A fan?” He squeaks. “Yeah, I’m a fan.”

Hoseok slides a glance over at Yoongi, amused, but the older alpha looks pale, eyebrows furrowed. “Hoseok, what the fuck.”

Oh, Hoseok thinks. He hadn’t warned Yoongi.

“What?” Taehyung asks, suddenly looking bashful, more embarrassed than Hoseok’s ever seen him before. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to freak out like that. It’s just…you’re kind of like my biggest inspiration.”

“Thank you,” Yoongi says cautiously. “You have…very unique eyes.”

“Um, yeah,” Taehyung says, suddenly weirded out. “I know. Hoseok-hyung kind of said the same thing.”

Yoongi flickers his gaze to Hoseok then, looking very serious. “Hoseok wanted us to meet.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung snorts out a laugh. “I was kind of joking when I told him I wanted to meet you, but he said it was a good idea. I mean, originally it was because I wanted to yell at you about how much Hoseok-hyung loves you-” Hoseok squeaks in protest. “-but now that I know he’s in love with Suga? I mean, same.”

And…Yoongi’s blushing. Hoseok gapes, and then laughs in disbelief. It’s so cute that he almost wants to pinch Yoongi’s pink cheeks.

“You don’t have a filter, do you?” Yoongi grounds out.

“Nope,” Taehyung says. “Sorry, am I making you uncomfortable? Usually I wouldn’t care, but you’re Suga.”

Yoongi exhales. “No, not uncomfortable,” he admits. “Actually, I’m more interested than anything.”

“You are?” Taehyung asks. He sounds confused.

“Mhm,” Yoongi nods. He looks thoughtful, lips pressed together, as his gaze shifts between Hoseok and Taehyung. “Hey,” he says, finally. “Taehyung-ssi. How would you like to come see my studio?”

“Really?!” Taehyung gasps, his whole face lighting up. Hoseok frowns at Yoongi, confused.

“Yep,” Yoongi says. “You’re not walking away from us anytime soon.”

☾

Namjoon’s house is big, in the kind of way that makes it obvious that he comes from money. He lives alone, and he doesn’t seem to have any kind of stable job, so Seokjin knows that it means Namjoon comes from old money. It only took Seokjin a few weeks to figure out what kind of old money it was.

Seokjin’s room is one of the four guest rooms on the second floor. The bedsheets are a soft white, the dresser is made of old, reclaimed wood, and the large bed shares a wall with Namjoon’s room. Sometimes, late at night, Seokjin presses his hand against the wall and wishes that he could feel Namjoon’s warm palm instead of the smooth paint.

Namjoon’s house is big, but Seokjin had always lived in tiny spaces, shared spaces, spaces meant for a pack. He hopes that’s what Namjoon wants, and Seokjin hopes he can be a part of that too. Jungkook was obviously meant to hold a strong position in Namjoon’s pack, but Seokjin had nothing to offer besides useless knowledge about traditional omega clothes and self-taught moon magic.

“Hyung, what’s got you thinking so hard?” Namjoon asks, and Seokjin startles. He hadn’t heard the younger alpha come home, but then Seokjin had been fretting over his problem for hours.

“I haven’t started dinner yet,” Seokjin says apologetically, following behind Namjoon as the alpha makes his way into the kitchen carrying a bag of groceries that Seokjin had told him to buy that morning. “I’m sorry, you’re early. You should have let me know.”

Namjoon’s lips quirk upwards into a small smile. “Surprise?” he offers, pulling open the fridge and swiftly emptying his bag of groceries inside. He turns and closes the fridge with his hip, setting aside the reusable purple bag. “I wanted to come home to see you. You don’t get out much, hyung, and I feel bad that you’re alone here all day.”

“I’m not alone all day,” Seokjin retorts, feeling a little embarrassed. It’s just that Seokjin doesn’t have very many friends in the City, not yet at least. “I’ll have you know that I went to go see the Mages. They were really happy with me, with my moon magic.”

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, impressed. “You got a job? At the Palace?”

“Yes,” Seokjin tells him, mollified with Namjoon’s admiration. “They said I can help fill a gap in knowledge there. Because I learned a lot of traditional stuff, back in my birth pack. They don’t really have anyone in the Palace who knows how to do the things that I can do.”

“That sounds really impressive,” Namjoon praises, and Seokjin feels himself puff up a little bit. “What do you know how to do that the Palace doesn’t?”

“Well, we just used more runes for more things, back in my birth pack,” Seokjin explains. “Nomadic packs have to do that, in order to stay together and to stay protected. It was the omegas’ job to make sure all the pack members were protected by the runes and our moon magic.”

Namjoon’s oddly silent after his explanation, and Seokjin’s not sure why. He’s not sure, until he thinks about what he just said, and then Seokjin’s heart starts pounding in his chest. He waits for Namjoon to say something; he prays Namjoon didn’t hear it.

“You both grew up in a nomadic pack, huh?” Namjoon murmurs, and Seokjin’s face pales so quickly that he thinks he might faint. “That explains a lot.”

“Don’t,” Seokjin pleads, voice thin and breathy and nervous. But Namjoon’s expression looks like it’s cut from stone; strong, hard, unforgiving. “Please don’t say anything to Jungkook. He made me promise not to talk to anyone about our birth pack. Please, he can’t know I said anything.”

Namjoon’s gaze sharpens, but still, he doesn’t say anything. Seokjin moves closer, and perhaps it’s manipulative of him to pump out his sweet omega sweet, to grasp at Namjoon’s hands, to make his voice softer than honey, but Seokjin had never been ashamed of being an omega. “Please, Namjoon,” he begs, so close to the alpha that he can finally feel the warmth he’s been craving. “I can’t lose Jungkook, not when I’ve just got him back.”

And this finally seems to soften something in Namjoon. The set of his shoulders relax, and he radiates warmth and sandalwood and calm. “I won’t say anything,” he tells Seokjin. “I promise. But you should know that Jungkook is my pack, and as his Pack Alpha, information like this shouldn’t be kept from me. It’s pack safety, and it’s for Jungkook’s safety. Nomadic packs are notoriously possessive about their pack members, and they’re known for tracking down and killing anyone who deserts.”

“I know,” Seokjin whispers. “Why do you think I was living out in a village in the middle of nowhere?” He slides one of his hands out of Namjoon’s tight grip, so he can reach up to unclasp one of his earrings. “I’m always wearing something that has a protection rune on it.” He shows Namjoon the tiny rune carved into the earring. “The protection would be stronger if I was in a pack, but it’s all I have right now, to keep me just a little bit invisible against my birth pack.”

Namjoon stares down at the earring, and then he watches Seokjin as he slides it back into his earlobe. “What about Jungkook?”

“Jungkook doesn’t have the same protection,” Seokjin tells him.  “But…I’m pretty sure that our birth pack thinks Jungkook is dead. If they knew he was still alive, they’d definitely kill him. They’ve wanted him dead for a long time.”

Namjoon frowns. “Why?”

Seokjin blinks, and then a sardonic smile curls at the corners of his mouth. “Why are your eyes topaz?” he counters. “It’s very unique, just like Jungkook’s eye colour. Some wolves end up dead because of their gold eyes.”

And now Namjoon’s grip on his hands becomes so tight it’s practically crushing Seokjin’s fingers. The omega doesn’t flinch. “What do you know?”

“Only what was necessary to protect Jungkook,” Seokjin tells him.

They stare at each other a moment longer, and then Namjoon’s hands relax. He looks remorseful, suddenly, at his crushing grip. “Sorry,” Namjoon says. “Sometimes I forget my own strength.”

“You didn’t hurt me,” Seokjin reassures him. “You’re protective of Jungkook, just like I am. I’m happy you are, because I would have hated it if I would have had to tell Jungkook any different. If I had to tell him that you were like your father.”

“I’m nothing like my father,” Namjoon says, disgust colouring his voice, and Seokjin reaches up with one hand to cup his cheek.

“I know,” he says soothingly. “I’m realizing that. But I had to be sure, for Jungkook’s sake.”

Namjoon nods, and he lifts his own hand to cover Seokjin’s, keeping it pressed against his cheek. “Jungkook doesn’t know who my father is.”

Seokjin’s surprised. “Really? But you’ve known each other for years.”

“Still,” Namjoon says. “We managed to never tell him, and he never figured it out. There’s a small blessing, I guess, in keeping the heir hidden. It meant that I could keep Jungkook hidden too. It’s been my main goal, all these years, until I become Pack Alpha.”

“Until you become Head Alpha, you mean,” Seokjin quips. Namjoon huffs out a laugh.

“Yeah, that.”

Seokjin chews on his bottom lip. “And Jungkook doesn’t know?”

Namjoon shakes his head.

“You’re going to have to tell him,” Seokjin murmurs. “I mean, he’s going to be in the Head Alpha’s pack. That’s a big jump, for someone like him. He’s going from complete obscurity to becoming a member of the most prominent pack in the Territory.”

“I’ll tell him,” Namjoon says. “He’ll have a choice of whether or not he wants to stay. He’ll always have a place in the Alpha Guard, regardless.”

Seokjin doesn’t answer for a minute, simply staring at Namjoon, amazed.

“What?” Namjoon asks, a little self-conscious.

Seokjin exhales gently. “Thank you,” he says, maybe a little teary.

Namjoon blinks, surprised. “For what?”

“For protecting him when I couldn’t,” Seokjin says. “For being a family to him when I wasn’t here, even if you didn’t have to.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that,” Namjoon tells him. “I’ll never regret it, what I’ve done for Jungkook. He’ll always have my protection. And so will you, when you become pack.”

“When?” Seokjin echoes, a whisper. Not ‘if’?

Namjoon smiles, and Seokjin’s thumb brushes against one of his dimples. “Yeah hyung, when. You didn’t really think I was going to let you go, did you? Not after you came all the way here, to the City, for me?”

“I came here for Jungkook!” Seokjin protests, the tips of his ears turning red, and Namjoon laughs.

“Okay hyung,” he placates. “Whatever you say.”

“I’m older than you, you know,” Seokjin huffs, finally dropping his hand and moving away from Namjoon. “I have something for you,” he calls over his shoulder. “Wait a minute.”

He returns to the kitchen a few minutes later, velvet jewelry box in hand. “I made you something, at the Palace.”

Namjoon takes the box into his hands with care, opening the snap lid and peering down. “Is this…?”

“Earrings with protection runes,” Seokjin tells him. “Just like mine, but in a style that I think suits you more.”

Namjoon reaches down for the silver earrings, white bone and tiny grey stones dangling from the stud. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”

“City packs don’t make these,” Seokjin says. “It’s a nomadic thing, because it’s necessary. And so…it’s a little bit selfish, too,” Seokjin admits, blushing. “The protection runes on my earrings will be stronger if you’re wearing these earrings, especially because you’re an alpha. The more pack members, the stronger the protection.”

Namjoon’s watching him with warm eyes, and then he reaches up to slide out his own silver hoops so that his can put on the earrings Seokjin’s made for him. “I won’t take them off,” he vows.

“Don’t be silly,” Seokjin says, still blushing. “You’ll have to take them off at some point. Don’t feel obligated to wear them all the time just for me.”

“I’ll only take them off if I can see you, and if I know you’re safe,” Namjoon tells him, ending the argument, and Seokjin huffs.

“Anyway,” he says. “Where’s Jungkook? I haven’t seen him in a week, and he hasn’t been answering me. I want to give him the pair I made for him.”

Namjoon seems to freeze suddenly, and he looks up at Seokjin very seriously. “You haven’t seen him in a week?”

Seokjin blinks. “No.”

“I thought…I wasn’t worried that I hadn’t heard from him,” Namjoon says slowly. “Because he has you and Yoongi-hyung and Hoseok.”

Seokjin’s mouth goes dry. “What are you saying?”

Namjoon frowns. “Nothing yet. Just…let me call Yoongi-hyung.”

☽

“Am I really allowed?” Taehyung asks, wide-eyed and in awe of the frankly average-looking building of Genius Lab. “I’m really allowed to come in?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes, but Hoseok catches the faint smile on his lips. “Yes,” Yoongi stresses. “Didn’t I say you could?”

“Yeah, but…” Taehyung still seems stuck. “Really?”

Yoongi sighs. “I’m going in. You can stay out here if you want.”

“No!” Taehyung protests, reaching for the door handle and pulling it open, stepping inside ahead of Yoongi. The older alpha looks exasperated, but also a little amused. Hoseok can’t help but laugh.

“He must really like you,” he says to Yoongi. It doesn’t bother Hoseok at all. He thinks it’s really cute, actually, like an overexcited puppy desperate to play with an aloof housecat.

Yoongi softens at Hoseok’s laughter, and he takes a few steps closer. “We need to talk about what his eyes mean,” Yoongi murmurs, and Hoseok shivers at Yoongi’s proximity, at his warmth. Now that he’s allowed to, he reaches for Yoongi’s hand, and the older alpha looks surprised, but happy.

“I know,” Hoseok says quietly. “I was shocked the first time I met him. How could he have Jungkook’s eyes? Jungkook makes sense, but another one? It doesn’t seem possible, not with what Namjoon told us.”

Yoongi shrugs. “Maybe Namjoon doesn’t know everything. I mean, it’s not like he talks to his father all that much.”

Hoseok chews on his bottom lip in thought, and then Yoongi reaches up with his free hand to tug Hoseok’s lip out from between his teeth. “Stop that,” he chides softly. “That’s a bad habit.”

Hoseok feels flustered, but it doesn’t stop him from leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to Yoongi’s lips. “Thanks.”

“Hey!” Taehyung calls out, poking his head out from the doorway. He’s frowning. “Are you going to make me wait all day?”

“Coming,” Yoongi calls back, and he pulls Hoseok along. “We’re coming.”

Yoongi’s studio is dark, and when the older alpha flicks on the lights, Taehyung lets out a high-pitched noise that startles Hoseok, and then the beta stops in place again.

“Am I really allowed in?”

“Jesus,” Yoongi mutters, pushing Taehyung forward with a hand on both shoulders. “If you ask me that one more time, I’m going to tie you down to the chair so you can’t leave.”

“Oh really?” Taehyung asks, cocking an eyebrow as he looks at Yoongi over his shoulder. “I’m into that.”

Yoongi chokes on his breath, and Hoseok bursts into laughter. “Taehyungie,” he says reproachfully. “Yoongi-hyung’s an old man. You have to be careful with what you say around him, so you don’t shock him.”

“Excuse me?” Yoongi protests, and Taehyung slips out of his grasp, dropping into the office chair by the desk.

“Sorry Harabeoji,” Taehyung says, voice deep and almost throaty. “I’ll watch my mouth around you, promise. Or you could watch it for me.”

Hoseok laughs again, at Yoongi’s wide-eyed look, at his glance to Hoseok for help.

“He’s a fan,” Hoseok explains, and Taehyung nods.

“I’m a fan.”

“Wouldn’t you normally be more respectful, brat?” Yoongi grumbles.

“I can do that too,” Taehyung promises. “You’ll just have to teach me.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes, but there’s a faint blush high on the apples of his cheeks, and Hoseok…he’s not upset. He’s not jealous, either. Rather, he thinks he likes this, how easy it feels, how much he can laugh, how calm Yoongi is. It hasn’t been like this, between them, for far too long, and Hoseok doesn’t know how he can even begin to thank Taehyung for what he’s done for them.

Hoseok moves to the door, and Yoongi glances over at him quickly. “Where are you going?”

“Bathroom,” he says, and then slips out of the room.

The rest of Genius Lab is silent, dark. He passes by Jungkook’s studio on his way back – Golden Closet emblazoned on the door – but it’s pitch black behind the frosted glass. Hoseok frowns, and reminds himself that he needs to ask Yoongi about where Jungkook’s been. He hasn’t heard from the younger alpha in over a week.

He pauses just outside the door to Yoongi’s studio, listening to the voices filtering out between the crack in the doorway.

“-can’t thank you enough,” Yoongi’s saying, voice deep and serious. “For what you’ve done for us. I don’t think we would’ve made it here without you. Our relationship…I really thought I’d fucked it up to much, that there was nothing left for me to fix.”

“Ah, hyung,” Taehyung’s voice is bashful. “I didn’t do much, really. Sometimes it just takes a new perspective for things to change.”

“Hmm,” Yoongi grunts. “New perspectives are important. They always see what was missing.”

It’s silent for a minute, and then, “Are you going to write a diss track about me?” Taehyung asks.

“A what?”

“It would be so cool,” Taehyung continues. “Imagine getting to tell people that Suga wrote a song about me!”

“If I wrote a song about you, it wouldn’t be a diss track,” Yoongi says, and Taehyung squeaks.

“Hyung, what,” Taehyung says breathlessly, and that’s when Hoseok steps into the room.

“Did you show Taehyungie all of your cool toys?” Hoseok asks, and Yoongi nods.

“Hyung, seriously, are you going to write a song about me?”

“I’m hungry,” Hoseok says then. “Can we go eat?”

“Sure,” Yoongi stands, clicking a few keys on the computer to shut it down.

“Hyung!” Taehyung scrambles up, following behind Yoongi. “Are you going to write a song about me? Please, please say yes!”

“Dunno,” Yoongi shrugs. “We’ll see if inspiration strikes.”

“That’s not a no!” Taehyung exclaims, and Hoseok laughs, pulling Taehyung along so that Yoongi can lock his studio door.

His eyes catch on Golden Closet again, and he swiftly turns to the older alpha, pulling Taehyung with him. “Hyung, where’s Jungkook?”

“Hm?” Yoongi asks. He glances at the closed door, and then back to Hoseok. “What do you mean?”

“He’s not here,” Hoseok explains. “And I haven’t heard from him in a over week, so I was wondering if he’d been holed up in here.”

Yoongi frowns. “No,” he says slowly. “He hasn’t been here at all this week. I thought he had some Alpha Guard stuff.”

“No,” Hoseok tells him, very worried now, anxiety creeping up his throat and into his voice. “Namjoon hasn’t heard from him either.”

Yoongi’s dark eyes have lost the amusement from earlier, and now he’s frowning deeply.

“Who are you talking about?”

“Ah,” Hoseok says, turning to Taehyung. He hadn’t meant to cut the beta out. “Just a friend we have. Our pack’s maknae. We’re just worried about him.”

“Why?” Taehyung asks, and it’s so careless that Hoseok’s at a loss for words for a moment.

“Um,” Hoseok says. “Because we care about him.” It almost comes out as a question, because Taehyung looks like he doesn’t care for an answer.

“He’s been missing for a week?” Taehyung asks. “Sounds like he doesn’t care about you guys the same way you care about him.”

“What the fuck?” Yoongi snaps, and then Taehyung’s suddenly cowed, maybe remembering who exactly Yoongi was.

Hoseok shoots Yoongi a swift warning look. “Jungkookie cares about us a lot,” he reassures Taehyung, still a little confused at the stony expression on the beta’s face. “He needs us. He’s had a bit of a…rough life, so we get worried when we don’t hear from him. He always thinks he should deal with his problems on his own.”

“Shouldn’t he?” Taehyung asks, bravely too, because Yoongi’s staring him down with cool eyes.

“No,” Hoseok shakes his head. “No one should. He’s doing better with this-” Hoseok taps on the frosted glass of the door for Golden Closet. “But still. Life’s a series of hurdles, after all. Some are just bigger than others.”

Taehyung’s quiet for a moment, and something seems to have shifted in his expression. “Your friend…Jungkook,” he says. “He’s JK, isn’t he? Golden Closet?”

“Yep,” Hoseok confirms. “Do you know it?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung nods. “My friend listens to it like, religiously. He says he’s never heard an alpha be so vulnerable but also so strong. So I listened to it too, after he told me.”

“What did you think?” Hoseok asks, curious.

Taehyung’s quiet again. “That no one deserved what happened to him,” Taehyung says finally. “That it was fucked up. He was only a pup.”

“I know,” Hoseok says, smiling comfortingly. “Like I said, we care about him. So don’t worry too much, okay?”

And then Taehyung seems to come back to himself. “Worry? I won’t.”

Hoseok frowns, and Taehyung pulls his arm out of the alpha’s grasp and stalks passed him, out the front door. “Where are you going? Aren’t you going to come eat with us?”

“Can’t, I have something to do,” Taehyung tosses back, and then he’s gone.

Hoseok blinks. “Why do I feel like I’m missing something?”

Yoongi looks pensive. “It sounded personal.” And then he focuses on Hoseok. “We need to know why Taehyung has a gold eye.”

☾

“I’m sorry to call you here on your day off,” Eunju says apologetically. “But this is important.”

“It’s fine,” Jungkook says mechanically, following his supervisor down the hallway of the Alpha Guard headquarters. The old wooden floorboards creak beneath their feet. “I didn’t have else anything to do.”

Eunju pauses, and Jungkook stops beside her as she pulls him to the side. “Work-life balance is important, Jungkook,” she tells him. “You should find something to do, in your free time. Something to take your mind off of our work here.” She fixes him with a serious look. “I don’t want to hear anything about you burning out, understand?”

“Yes, Eunju-nim,” Jungkook says. It’s kind of funny that she’s worried about him burning out, he thinks, because Jungkook is so numb he doubts that anything could actually make him feel something at all.

“I think it’s especially important now,” Eunju continues, resuming their walk. “I called you here because you’re joining a new team, Jungkook.”

“I’m what?” Jungkook asks, startled.

“I’m still your supervisor,” Eunju reassures him. “But Jungkook, I’ve told you before. You’re the best out of your batch of Guards. So I think it’s time you get some real experience with the types of things the Alpha Guard really handles.” She stops at a door, hand resting on the doorknob. “You’ll be working with Yejun-ssi.”

Then she opens the door, and they step into the large office. Yejun is sitting in his office chair, typing at his computer, and he doesn’t look up when they walk in. “Take a seat,” he says. “I’m just finishing up a report.”

Eunju sits first, and then Jungkook slips into the seat beside her. Even sitting down, Yejun is big. Definitely bigger than Jungkook, but not as big as Namjoon, Jungkook thinks. He’s not as old as Jungkook had first thought, maybe ten years older than him. He’s very conventionally attractive, for an alpha – dark eyes, strong jaw, hair cut short and clean.

Yejun finishes typing, and then he sits back in his seat, looking over at Jungkook with dark eyes and appraising the young alpha. “Eunju-ssi has told me a lot about you. She thinks you’d be a good fit for my team.”

Jungkook nods. “Yes sir.”

“You’re new,” Yejun says frankly. “Very fresh. Sometimes Guards don’t like what they see, when they join my team.”

“It’s not about liking or disliking,” Jungkook tells him. “It’s about doing a job.”

Yejun laughs, a little surprised. “Okay then, Jungkook,” he says. “Let me tell you a bit about this job. About what we see out in the real world. Eight percent of current matings occur between an alpha and an omega mate who is under the age of eighteen. I would call that omega mate a pup, wouldn’t you?”

Jungkook nods his head. “Yes.”

“Our job is to find these matings before they happen, and get the omega out of that situation. Most of the time, we’re unsuccessful. Do you know what forced bonding is?”

Jungkook almost shakes his head, but then he thinks of his birth pack, and nods.

Yejun looks surprised. “Really? Tell me.”

Jungkook clears his throat. “Forced bonding can only occur in a pack,” he says. “The omegas work together to cut off the moon magic of whichever omega is meant to be mated. They do it if the omega doesn’t agree to the mating or if the omega…fights back.”

“And then?”

“And then the omega is mated, without the protection of their moon magic. If the pack omegas are good enough, that mated omega will never be able to access their moon magic again.”

Yejun smiles, but it’s humourless. “Forced bonding occurs more often than people would like to think. Omegas are usually driven into insanity after a few years without their moon magic. So some packs have gotten especially good at leaving the barest link there. Imagine it, something you so desperately need, just out of reach, so close you can practically feel it in your hands, but always too far away for you to get a firm grip.”

Jungkook swallows heavily.

“We’re always too late,” Yejun says. And then his gaze sharpens on Jungkook again. “You’re as smart as Eunju-ssi said.”

“I told you,” Eunju chimes in, shooting Jungkook a proud smile. “He’s ready. Whatever you want him to do, he can do it.”

Yejun hums, looking thoughtful. “Okay,” he finally agrees. “A report came in this morning; Jungkook can accompany me. I want to see him out in the field.”

“He’ll work hard,” Eunju says.

“We’ll see,” Yejun stands, and Jungkook follows him. “Let’s go, Jungkook. Time for you to show me what you can do.”

Yejun drives them both across the city, and parks the car in a narrow back alley between two brick buildings, next to a back door that’s elevated a few feet off of the ground, with a metal staircase descending into the cracked pavement.

“What do you know about beta hate crimes?” Yejun asks, making no move to leave the car. Jungkook unbuckles his seatbelt but doesn’t move any further.

“It stems from prejudice,” Jungkook says. “It’s founded on faulty logic.”

“Why do you say that?”

“People think that any changed human can only become a beta,” Jungkook says quietly. “And that’s the root of the prejudice. Because there are wolves who hate humans, and so they hate betas by extension. But it’s wrong to say that. Humans have an equal chance of becoming any of the three ranks.”

“Very good,” Yejun praises, and he pushes the driver side door open. Jungkook follows him as they walk out of the alleyway and onto the road. “We got a call this morning. A few guards have already come out to secure the building. A beta-owned club was broken into and vandalized. It’s pretty obvious it was a hate crime.”

“Why?” Jungkook asks.

“Look,” Yejun says, and as they come around to the front of the building, Jungkook sees it. Marked out in big red letters across the windows: Go back to where you came from, human.

“That’s going to be a bitch to clean up,” Yejun remarks, and then the two Alpha Guards who’d secured the building walk over.

“The owner is a beta named Kim Taehyung,” the taller guard says. “He said he came by this morning to pick something up, and saw…this.”

Jungkook feels something tighten inside him, like an elastic pulling and pulling before it snaps.

“He’s pissed as hell,” the other guard says, and he sounds offended, probably because Taehyung had said something to him, something that had hurt his ego. “He’s being a real bitch about it, so be careful.”

Yejun raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything. Jungkook stays silent too.

“Not that…I mean he has a right to be upset, obviously,” the guard adds hastily.

“I think we’re done here,” Yejun says, voice distinctly cool as he moves passed the guards, and Jungkook follows.

“Yejun-nim,” he says quietly. “I can take a look outside, while you talk with the beta. I don’t mind.”

Yejun shoots him an amused look. “Then what would be the point of having you come all the way here with me? No, you’re going to be by my side.”

Jungkook nods, and he feels the elastic band tighten even more.

Inside the club, it’s a mess. Broken glass, shattered bottles, ripped up couches, and red paint smeared across the walls greet them as they walk in. The paint is still glossy and wet, and it almost looks like blood, except Jungkook’s nose prickles at the scent.

Taehyung stands in the middle of the wreckage, arms crossed over his chest, impatient, with a hard expression on his face. He’s spotted Jungkook as soon as the alpha walked in, and Jungkook exhales.

“I’m Yejun,” the older alpha introduces himself, and then motions to Jungkook. “This is Jungkook. We’ve spoken to the guards briefly, but I’d like to hear your account, Taehyung-ssi. But first, where is your Pack Alpha? Are they on their way?”

Taehyung’s taken to ignoring Jungkook completely, and the alpha prefers it that way. “I don’t have a Pack Alpha,” Taehyung says. “Not yet, anyway.”

Yejun is quiet for a moment, jotting something down in his notebook. “That’s fine,” he finally murmurs. “Just tell us your account of the events, please.”

“It’s like I said,” Taehyung says, in a voice that sounds like he’s said this a thousand times before. “I came by this morning because I needed to get some documents from my office. I found…this.” He waves a hand around carelessly. “And that fucking message on my windows.”

“Is this the first time you’ve had something like this happen?” Yejun asks.

Taehyung scoffs. “Do you mean to my club, or to me? Being a beta isn’t exactly a walk in the park. Maybe you should tell you guards to take these attacks more seriously. Right Jungkook?’

Jungkook startles, and Yejun’s eyebrows knit into a frown. “Pardon?”

“Attacks against defenseless citizens should be taken seriously,” Taehyung says. “Isn’t that right, Jungkook?”

Jungkook meets his gaze. “Yes.”

“Good,” Taehyung says, satisfied, and then he looks back to Yejun. “I want you to find who did this, and I want you to make an example out of them. No more betas should face this kind of bullshit.”

“I understand,” Yejun says diplomatically. “I’m going to take a look around, if that’s alright with you. Jungkook will remain here, in case you have anything else you’d like to add.”

And then, before Jungkook can protest, Yejun moves off, leaving the pair alone. When Jungkook shifts his gaze back to the beta, Taehyung’s crossed arms over his chest again, frowning deeply.

“What kind of strings did you pull to get onto an investigative team?” Taehyung asks bitingly. “Are you here to shut me up? To keep me quiet? To threaten me?”

Jungkook’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“You think I don’t know about the beta prejudice in the Alpha Guard?” Taehyung scoffs. “The guards that were here before you think this is a joke.”

“It’s not a joke,” Jungkook says. “I know you don’t like me-” Taehyung scoffs again. “But I’m here to do my job. I take my job seriously, just ask…ask Jimin.”

Taehyung’s gaze turns chilly. “Don’t talk about him.”

“You care about Jimin,” Jungkook says, maybe a little desperately. “I get it, so do I. He became like your family, after I turned you, because you had nowhere else to go. And yeah, you’re a beta, and your halmoni’s pack didn’t accept you, but Jimin did.”

“Stop it,” Taehyung snaps. “You don’t know anything.”

“I know more than you think,” Jungkook tells him, and Taehyung turns away and starts to walk towards the bar. “Jimin talks a lot, because Jimin loves you.”

“I know that,” Taehyung growls, irritated. “So stay away from him. I’m protecting him from you.”

Jungkook swallows. “There’s so much more you don’t know,” Jungkook says, because if he’s in for a penny, he might as well be in for a pound. He’s going to try this the honest way, the way his hyungs have taught him, before he resorts to something like blackmailing Taehyung. “We’ve met before. Not – not in that field. But another time. Later. I was the pup you and Jimin found at the side of the road.”

“Stop it,” Taehyung says again, even angrier now. “Don’t talk about that.”

“It’s true,” Jungkook says, reaching out for Taehyung, but the beta pulls away from him.

“I know that was you!” Taehyung snarls, finally turning around. “I know. So you’re the wolf who turned me, but you’re also the wolf who almost died at the side of the road, all alone, with no pack or family around. And Jimin saved you. Jimin’s your angel. But just fuck off!”

CRASH!

Jungkook flinches as something slams through the windows at the front of the club, shattering the glass, and clatters to the dark wood floor. For a split second, everything’s silent, and then the device starts beeping.

“What the fuck…?” Taehyung breathes.

“It’s a fucking bomb!” Someone yells, and the high-pitched noise Taehyung releases is a mix of overwhelming shock and pure fear.

Jungkook moves. He grabs Taehyung’s waist, pulling the beta with him up and over the bar, and they stumble to the ground. Jungkook shoves Taehyung down to the floor, covering the beta with his body, hiding them both in the small space under the counter.

BOOM!

The explosion isn’t as forceful as Jungkook had expected. More noise than actual power, meant to scare more than cause damage. Jungkook lifts himself off the ground slowly, carefully, peering up over the top of the counter and scanning the empty club. He spots Yejun near the back; he’d ducked behind the wall that led to the bathrooms.

Taehyung pushes himself up after Jungkook, leaning to sit back against the minifridge, and – he’s breathing too fast, Jungkook realizes.

“Hey,” Jungkook says, awkward and uncertain, hands fluttering uselessly. “Hey, just like, relax. Nothing happened, you’re okay.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Taehyung wheezes, something between a laugh and a scoff as he leans forward so his head falls between his knees. “Just…you’re so bad at that. Just shut up.”

Jungkook snaps his mouth closed, but he remains by the beta’s side, alert, watchful, hands ready in case Taehyung passes out.

“What the fuck was that?” Taehyung asks, still curled up tight, head between his knees.

“A bomb,” Jungkook supplies helpfully.

“I meant,” Taehyung grounds out. “Why did you cover me like that? Do you think I need your help?”

“You were frozen,” Jungkook says, straightforward and dry. “You would’ve been hurt if you didn’t move, if I didn’t move you.”

“You’re so annoying,” Taehyung gripes. “Has anyone ever told you that? I don’t need you to help me, not now, not ever.”

“Right, got it,” Jungkook says, a little incredulous, finally pushing himself to his feet because there’s only so much of this that he can take from Taehyung.

He moves around the side of the bar, out into the open floor, and Taehyung scrambles to his feet behind him. The beta teeters on unsteady legs for a moment, before coming around to join the alphas near the bomb.

“It was meant to scare you,” Yejun says, crouched down to examine the pieces. “Something home-made, and not very powerful. Taehyung-ssi, do you have enemies?”

“What?” Taehyung asks, incredulous. “Of course not.”

“Then this might be worse,” Yejun says, standing up.

“Why?”

“Because it seems so random,” Yejun concludes. “If it’s not the work of someone with a specific desire to hurt you, then it means it might be coming from someone who thinks this is fun. Someone who doesn’t care about the consequences of what they’re doing. Someone who simply hates betas. It’s much more difficult to track someone like that, because you’re just a random target they’ve picked. There’s no real reason for their actions, other than hate.”

“So…what are you saying?” Taehyung asks. “That you’re not going to do anything about this?”

Yejun shrugs. “We’ll file a report, and investigate,” he says. “But I’m not sure if we’ll find anything. This might be a one-off. They’ve covered their tracks well.”

Taehyung looks incredulous, and even Jungkook feels uneasy.

“Yeah, what the fuck ever,” Taehyung mutters, kicking at a piece of debris. “I get it. The file will go in some back room and never be seen again. I know the drill.”

“I strongly advise that you find a Pack Alpha sooner rather than later,” Yejun offers. “It would afford you some protection in the meantime.”

It doesn’t sit well with Jungkook.

“Is it really so difficult to track these people?” He asks Yejun, when they’re back in the car.

“No,” Yejun says simply. “It’s quite easy, actually. The problem lies in trying to find the leaders of these beta hate groups. The truth, Jungkook, is that picking off these soldiers one by one is a waste of resources. They’re indoctrinated by the leaders of these groups, but they have no real valuable information about who the leaders are. And I’d rather take down the leader, than some weak wolf who thinks hating betas makes them stronger.”

Yejun pauses, in thought, fingers drumming against the steering wheel. “I want to know more about Kim Taehyung,” he says, finally. “I want to know if this is random or not. Jungkook?”

“Yes?”

“Go to the Beta Centre, and check their database,” Yejun says. “Find out if there’s anything he isn’t telling us.”

The Beta Centre is close to the river, separated from the rushing water by a large park with a bike path cutting through the middle. The air feels wet on his skin, and it smells like damp earth. Jungkook makes his way up the steps, pulls open the glass doors, and enters the cool interior. He shivers at the sudden drop in temperature, and then moves to the side, where a beta sits at a desk.

“How can I help you?” she asks politely. And then her eyes catch on Jungkook’s dog tags, and she straightens up in her seat, looking more serious now.

“It’s regarding an ongoing investigation,” Jungkook replies. “I need information about a beta.”

“Of course,” the beta agrees. “I can help you find anything you need. Most of our information is in the database already, but there are still old files that are only available as a hard copy. What’s the name of the beta?”

“I’d prefer to do this on my own,” Jungkook tells her, wary, not really sure that the task Yejun had given him was actually legal. “It’s…delicate. I would like your discretion, in this.”

The beta quickly agrees, and she motions for Jungkook to follow her into a room just down the hall. “Please put in your credentials,” she says, pointing to the computer. “You can find the information you need in there. Let me know if you need access to the hard copies.”

“Thank you,” Jungkook says, and then he is alone.

He sits in the chair in front of the computer, lifting his dog tags over his head so that he can press his ID into the small device next to the computer. It beeps, and then the screen lights up, showing the search engine for the database. Really, he could have done this at any of the three Centres, or at the Alpha Guard headquarters, but he doesn’t know if Taehyung’s file was a hard copy or not.

Kim Taehyung, he types into the database, and an identification picture pops up of the beta who’d pushed his way into Jungkook’s apartment to break apart Jungkook’s life.

Kim Taehyung, born a human, turned to a wolf at the age of ten. Kim Taehyung, found wandering the forest, dehydrated, bloodied, and brought to the Beta Centre. Kim Taehyung, adopted by an old woman from the South, who had no children of her own. Kim Taehyung, owner of Inner Child, a club in the City. Kim Taehyung, no known pack associations.

The details are sparse in some places, most noticeably about how Taehyung was turned. Nomadic wolves? the note reads, unsure, vague, next to a video clip. Jungkook swallows heavily, a presses play.

He recognizes Taehyung as the child from the meadow; the only difference are his eyes. He looks terrified, and his mask of anger is flimsy at best. He sits alone in a hospital bed, staring at someone beyond the camera.

I want to go home, he says.

I’m sorry, but that’s no longer possible, the voice behind the camera tells him. You’ve changed into something that is no longer human. You can never go back to your old life.

Taehyung sobs, hands gripping the blankets. Please, I won’t tell anyone.

It’s not about telling someone, the voice says. You don’t belong to that world anymore. This is your home now. And since this is your home, you must tell us what happened to you. How you were bitten.

Taehyung shakes his head. I don’t remember.

I think you do, the voice says. Don’t be scared.

Taehyung looks away, quiet, and then he turns back to the camera. It was…a man. He was tall and…he was so cold. He had blood all over him, and he wore these earrings that looked like bone. I don’t…I can’t remember anything else.

Jungkook feels something ice cold slide down his sternum, settling deep in his gut. He feels frozen to his core. He stares blankly at the still screen, unable, unwilling to remember it.

Minseok-seonsaengnim.

Jungkook has not thought about him in years. He’s tried to forget. But Taehyung shared this memory with him, and Taehyung had been equally terrified. Maybe, throughout his life, Jungkook’s fear of Minseok had always been legitimate.

He takes one last look at Taehyung’s profile, scrolling down to the bottom. Taehyung has no pack associations, but still, there are links to his adoptive halmoni and-

Jimin.

The tiny identification picture of the omega doesn’t do him justice. He’s staring straight ahead, unsmiling. Still, Jungkook thinks he looks beautiful. He misses Jimin so deeply, it’s like his heart has caved in on itself, empty, desolate, carved out of any love he’s ever held there.

Before he can stop himself, he clicks on Jimin’s profile. It locks him out, for a minute, because he’s going into the omega database, but Jungkook quickly presses his ID back into the scanner, desperate to see more of his angel.

And then he’s through, and Jimin’s life opens up before his eyes. It’s so much more robust than Taehyung’s, filled with links to other pages and overflowing with information, and a family tree that spans back for centuries. But still, at the bottom: No known pack associations, not since Jimin left his pack behind. Taehyung’s picture is there, but not Jungkook’s. And then Jungkook wonders.

He goes back to the central database, and types in his name: Jeon Jungkook.

Error: no matches found.

☽

Jungkook doesn’t realize he hasn’t seen his hyungs in over two weeks until Yoongi finds him in his studio. He knocks at Jungkook’s studio door, and then pops his head in when Jungkook calls out that he can come in. His black hair is tucked into a dark green beanie, and his fingertips are stained with ink, which means he’s been writing again.

“Where have you been?” Yoongi’s voice is harder than Jungkook expects, like maybe he’s mad.

“What do you mean?”

Yoongi moves into the room, closing the door behind him. “Jungkook, no one’s been able to reach you for two weeks. We were worried sick. What the hell?”

“Ah,” Jungkook says. “Sorry. I was…working on something.”

“And you couldn’t pick up your phone to send any one of us a text?” Yoongi asks. He sounds exhausted as he lowers himself into the empty office chair. “Jungkook, I thought we talked about this.”

Jungkook frowns, annoyed. “It’s not a big deal hyung, geez. Can you let me live?”

“Isn’t that what we’ve been doing for you ever since we first met you?” Yoongi asks sarcastically. “Ever since we took you out of that orphanage?”

It’s a low blow, and Jungkook looks away. Yoongi exhales.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Yoongi says, much gentler now. “We’re just worried, Jungkookie. You know that we care about you.”

Jungkook chews on his bottom lip, and then he nods his head. “I know.”

“Seokjin-hyung’s been going crazy with worry,” Yoongi says, and Jungkook feels a surge of guilt. “So has Hoseok.”

Now Jungkook’s surprised. “You and Hoseok-hyung are okay?”

Yoongi huffs out a laugh. “This is why you need to reach out to us, Jungkook. Hoseok and I are together.”

Jungkook gapes. “Together? Like, boyfriends?”

“Mhm,” Yoongi nods, eyes crinkling up as he smiles. “See how much you missed?”

“Wow,” Jungkook says. “Hyung, I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Yoongi murmurs, and then he seems to be in a better mood, wheeling himself over to sit closer to Jungkook. “What are you working on?”

“Nothing important,” Jungkook tells him. “Actually, I might be taking a break from the podcast.”

Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “Really? Why?”

“Work,” Jungkook says simply. “It’s a lot right now. I’m on a new team.”

“Is that where you’ve been these last two weeks?” Yoongi asks.

Jungkook pauses. “Yes.”

“Huh,” Yoongi leans back in his seat, the chair spinning a little bit. He’s silent for a moment, before he plants his feet back down, and turns back to face Jungkook. “I want to talk to you about something.”

“Um, okay,” Jungkook says.

“Park Jimin came by the studio the other day.”

Jungkook freezes. His hands hover above the keyboard, and he stares ahead blankly, the words on the computer screen somehow completely meaningless. He licks his lips. “He did?”

“Mhm,” Yoongi nods slowly. “He looked pissed.”

Jungkook’s hands fall to his lap, and he finally glances over at Yoongi. The older is watching him, taking in each and every one of Jungkook’s micro-reactions.

“I told him you weren’t here,” Yoongi continues. “But he said he was here to ask me if I’d let him meet JK, the host of Golden Closet. I told him JK wasn’t in either.”

“Golden Closet?” Jungkook echoes. “He knows about the podcast?”

“Oh, yeah,” Yoongi nods. “He said he’s a big fan. He said he’s been listening to it since you first started it, so I wanted to know what you think. If you wanted him to know that it’s you.”

But Jungkook is still surprised. “He listens to my podcast?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi huffs out a soft laugh. “I know you don’t look at the data, Jungkook, but your podcast is really popular. And Jimin really likes it, apparently. I didn’t tell him it was you, though. That’s your right, if you want him to know.”

But he didn’t want Jimin to know. That was the whole point of his goodbye, wasn’t it? Jimin doesn’t know that Jungkook and the boy dying of wolfsbane at the side of the road, abandoned by his pack and family, are the same person. Jungkook isn’t sure that he wants Jimin to know.

But he shouldn’t have doubted Jimin’s stubbornness.

“Ah,” Jungkook says, scratching the back of his neck. “I don’t know, hyung.”

Yoongi studies him, with dark, knowing eyes, and Jungkook turns his gaze away.

“I’ve never told you how I got these.”

Jungkook looks back up, at the sound of Yoongi’s voice, and watches his hyung tap his finger against the black wolfsbane scars that mar the side of his face. “You’ve never asked me.”

Jungkook blinks. “I didn’t think you wanted me to ask. I didn’t want to make you tell me.”

Yoongi’s hand drops back down, and he raises an eyebrow. “You’re marked by wolfsbane too.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods. “But I can hide it at least.”

Yoongi clasps his hands together, leaning back in his seat again. “Someone poisoned you with wolfsbane,” he says. “I can’t imagine what that would feel like, as a pup. It must have really hurt you.”

Jungkook doesn’t know what to say. “It happened. I lived.” It’s quiet for a moment, and then Jungkook asks, “Who did that to you, hyung?”

“Who did this to me?” Yoongi repeats. He sounds thoughtful. “It’s was Min Yoongi.” It rings out in the room like a gunshot, and Jungkook feels something twist in his stomach. “I did this to myself.”

“…hyung?” Jungkook asks, hesitating, unsure, hoping that he’d heard it wrong.

“Wolfsbane is easier to get ahold of than most people think,” Yoongi says. His voice is unwavering, casual, for a topic so profoundly disturbing that Jungkook feels a little nauseous. “So I got some, when I was eighteen, and then I drank the poison. I knew from my research that it was the fastest and most effective way for the wolfsbane to work.”

Jungkook swallows heavily, feeling acid burn at the back of his throat. “Hyung, what are you…”

“It worked a little too fast, though,” Yoongi continues, undeterred, unbothered. “And I ended up collapsing. I hit the side of my head on the table.” Yoongi reaches up to push his beanie aside, his fingers gently running over the scar on his hairline, the focal point of his black marks. “My Umma found me, and they rushed me to the hospital to pump my stomach. It must have been horrifying for her, to see that. To see me almost dead, bleeding all over the floor. Head wounds bleed a lot, did you know? She must have thought I was dead when she found me.”

Jungkook stares at his hyung, numbness spreading out to the tips of his fingers and toes like he’s stuck in a winter storm. It feels like one, because he is very cold, and because it feels like something is howling at him inside his head.

Why, Jungkook wants to ask. But the question doesn’t feel adequate. He doesn’t know what to say, and normally Jungkook would be happy to sit in silence, but silence is the last thing he wants right now. Comfort is what he needs; comfort that Yoongi won’t leave him, comfort that Yoongi would stay in his life forever.

“Have I shocked you?” Yoongi asks. He seems amused.

“Hyung,” Jungkook whispers. “Hyung…”

“Go on,” Yoongi’s lips tilt into a small smile. “Ask me anything. I don’t care.”

“Hyung, why?”

“Why did I do it?” Yoongi asks. “Or why am I telling you?”

“Both.”

Yoongi exhales. “Who knows why I did it. I’m sure the reasons must have felt like enough for me, back then, but now when I look back…it’s like I’m looking at a different person. Like I’m seeing someone else’s memories. It’s difficult to explain. But what I can tell you, Jungkookie, is that for some people their battles are not against the world. Some people have to battle against themselves, and that is the much tougher fight.”

Jungkook nods, still watching Yoongi with wide eyes, and finally Yoongi jokingly kicks a leg out at him. “You brat, don’t look so worried now,” he complains half-heartedly. “I didn’t tell you this so that you’d be all worried about me. I’m a lot better now, you don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

“So why did you tell me all of this?” Jungkook asks.

“Because I wanted you to understand something in the way that the world works,” Yoongi tells him. “Some people go through life, and they live, and no one questions their existence. They simply…live. But then, there are others who live on the fringes. People who live outside of our expectations, who exist outside of what we think is typical. People who are forced to tell their story over and over and over again, for no other reason than that they’re different. Because they push the boundaries of our comfort, of our expectations. Does that make sense?”

Jungkook thinks about it. “Is it really so black and white?”

“No, it’s not,” Yoongi says. “Life isn’t black and white. And I think that’s why so many people find comfort in your podcast, Jungkookie. It makes them think, I’m not alone out here on the fringes. If he can tell his story, why can’t I?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “I don’t think my words mean that much.”

“But they do,” Yoongi says simply. “Jungkook, you can decide whether or not you want to tell Jimin about Golden Closet. But the point I’m trying to get at, is that you should be the only one who has control of your story. It’s yours, it’s your life. Take it in your hands, and make it yours. That way, no one can take it from you.” Yoongi’s fingers drift over his black scars again. “I’m not ashamed of my story,” he says. “Because I control it now. It no longer controls me.”

“Is it that easy?” Jungkook asks.

Yoongi shrugs. “Well, a good start is to try not to make it any more difficult than it needs to be.”

Jungkook nods, and doesn’t say anything more. And then Yoongi stands, stretching his arms above his head. “Well, that’s enough heart-to-heart for one day,” he says. “Can you please drop by Hoseok’s place tonight, so that he can see you? Look, I’m asking nicely and everything too.”

Jungkook nods again, and when Yoongi turns to head for the door, he pushes himself up from his chair, and it clatters into the desk behind him. Yoongi turns at the noise, and then Jungkook pulls him into a tight hug, burying his face into the space between Yoongi’s neck and shoulder.

“Thank you for living, thank you for being alive,” Jungkook says. His voice is muffled, cracked, desperate. “Hyung, I don’t know where I would be if you didn’t live, if I didn’t have you.” He hugs Yoongi a little tighter, his fingers digging into Yoongi’s shoulders. “Thank you for living.”

Yoongi laughs, a little bit, his breath warm against Jungkook’s skin. “You’re the second person to say that to me.”

“Who was the first?”

Yoongi pauses, and then pulls back from the hug. “It was Hoseok.”

“Really?”

“Mhm,” Yoongi nods, voice warm like honey. “He said it back then, at the hospital. A lot of the doctors thought I wouldn’t make it, and they kind of gave up on me. Honestly, I didn’t really see a reason to keep going. But Hoseok…he wouldn’t let me die. He kept telling me to live. I don’t know, it just…it was like, in that moment, I couldn’t think about any of the reasons I had for dying. Suddenly, none of it made sense. Hoseok was telling me to live, so…I did.”

☾

“Where have you been?”

Seokjin pulls Jungkook into a hug so tight, the air is knocked from his lungs. Over the omega’s shoulder, Jungkook spots Namjoon – frowning, concerned, relieved.

“Sorry,” Jungkook says, voice muffled into Seokjin’s shoulder. “I didn’t realize it had been so long.”

“I’ve been trying to reach you for weeks,” Seokjin says, pulling back but leaving his hands on Jungkook’s shoulders. “Don’t do that to me. I was so worried.”

“Sorry hyung,” Jungkook says again, guilty. “What have I missed?”

“Nothing much,” Seokjin tells him. “Just that I got a job at the Palace.”

“Really?” Jungkook asks, surprised. “Hyung, that’s amazing!”

Seokjin flushes, pleased. “I know,” he says. “Also, I have something for you.” He leaves Jungkook then, moving to another room, and Jungkook takes a few steps closer to Namjoon.

“You really worried us,” Namjoon says. He’s still frowning. “I know Yoongi-hyung talked to you, so I’m not going to give you the same lecture. But Jungkook, you have to stop running away. Every time you do it, I’m worried that you won’t come back.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Jungkook says apologetically. “I was just…distracted with something. I needed to think.”

“That’s fine,” Namjoon tells him. “But wanting to be alone and cutting all of us out are two different things. I understand if you don’t want to talk to all of us, but you need to have someone who can check in on you. We’re going to be a pack, Jungkook. That means we depend on each other.”

Jungkook feels ashamed, suddenly, in the way only Namjoon can make him feel because Namjoon’s voice is soft and his reprimands are gentle. Because Namjoon had opened his home and his pack to Jungkook when Jungkook needed it most.

“I know,” Jungkook says. He knows he has to offer something more, something to make Namjoon feel better without telling him what the real problem is, so he says, “I’ve been working, mostly. I got assigned to a new team, a higher-level team. It’s a lot more work.”

“Really?” Namjoon asks. He looks impressed. “I’m proud of you, Jungkook-ah.”

Jungkook flushes, and rubs at the back of his neck. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It is,” Namjoon argues gently, smiling warmly. “You’ve done well.”

“Here it is!” Seokjin announces, coming back into the room with a small box. He hands it to Jungkook, and the younger alpha peers down at the velvet lined box.

“What is this?”

“Open it and see,” Seokjin tells him.

He snaps the lid open and-

“Hyung,” Jungkook breathes.

Seokjin’s smiling. “Do you like them?”

The earrings are almost exact copies of the ones he’d worn as a pup, the ones that were taken away from him at the hospital all those years ago. They’re not feathered, but rather made of tiny smooth black stones that dangle from silver studs. He can see the rune markings in each stone, and his breath catches in his throat.

“I…” he tries to say, but his tongue doesn’t work right. Oddly, his eyes feel wet but he doesn’t feel sad.

“It’s okay,” Seokjin says gently. “It’s been a while, huh?”

Jungkook nods silently, and then he reaches up with clumsy fingers to slide out the silver hoops he’s worn for years, the same ones Namjoon had given him. But it’s okay, because when he looks up, new earrings in place, runes and moon magic connecting him to Seokjin-hyung, he sees the handiwork of Seokjin also hanging from Namjoon’s ears.

Pack. They’re a pack.

“You’re protected now, bunny,” Seokjin tells him. “You know that, right?”

Jungkook lets out a watery laugh. “You’ve always wanted to protect me.”

“And you always made it difficult to,” Seokjin counters, a soft smile playing at his lips. He turns to Namjoon, says, “Okay, we’re ready to go now.”

“Go?” Jungkook echoes. “Go where?”

“Hoseok’s place,” Namjoon says. “He wanted me to come by to meet someone interested in joining our pack. They’re looking for a Pack Alpha, and Hoseok thinks he’d fit in well.”

“You want me to come?” Jungkook checks.

“Yeah, obviously,” Namjoon replies. “You’re pack. We don’t let anyone in if we don’t all agree.”

Hoseok’s apartment isn’t far, and Jungkook ends up in the backseat of Namjoon’s car feeling a little too much like a pup watching his two dads bicker over the radio stations. Namjoon finally relents when Seokjin pouts and sniffles a little bit, and Jungkook rolls his eyes because Seokjin had learned his puppy eyes from Jungkook.

“It feels kind of exciting, doesn’t it?” Seokjin asks, hooking his arm around Jungkook’s as they make their way up to Hoseok’s apartment. “Becoming a pack. Meeting potential new packmates. It all feels so much better now that we’re together.”

It is kind of exciting, so Jungkook nods. “Namjoon’s going to be a Pack Alpha when he turns twenty-five,” he tells Seokjin. “Just after the summer.”

“And then we’ll all be together, with nothing to worry about,” Seokjin hums, following Namjoon through the entrance way into Hoseok’s flat.

Yoongi’s the only one in the living room, and he looks a little startled when he spots Seokjin and Jungkook just over Namjoon’s shoulder.

“Oh,” he says. “I didn’t know you were both coming.”

“We’re pack,” Namjoon replies.

“No, I know,” Yoongi says quickly. “Uh, what did Hoseok say over the phone?”

“That you both knew a beta who was looking for a new pack,” Namjoon pauses. “Why, is that not right?”

“No, I mean it is,” Yoongi says slowly. “It’s just, maybe it would have been better if it was just you.”

Seokjin makes a soft noise, and Jungkook tries not to feel offended.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Yoongi says hastily, rubbing at his forehead. “Sorry.”

“Hyung, you’re unusually bad at words right now,” Hoseok tells the older alpha, finally making his way into the living room. “Hi everyone, you’re all welcome, just ignore Yoongi-hyung. I’ll explain.”

“Hoseok, wait,” Yoongi says, and oddly, he’s tapping one finger on his cheek, just below his eye.

“I know,” Hoseok says, nodding. “I’ll explain.”

But he doesn’t get a chance too. Jungkook hears two sets of footsteps coming from down the hall, and then the scent of cinnamon and sugar, and his heart’s pounding in his chest.

What…?

“Hi hyungs!” Taehyung enters first, smiling brightly, waving his hand, and Jimin’s following just behind. He doesn’t seem to notice Jungkook at first, offering Yoongi and Hoseok a shy smile, but then he turns his gaze and the smile slides off his face.

“Oh?” Seokjin says, from beside Jungkook. “Jimin? How are you?”

And then Taehyung turns too, and his expression goes even flatter than Jimin’s.

Fuck.

“Uh,” Taehyung says. “I thought…it was just your Pack Alpha coming.”

Namjoon takes a step forward, momentarily blocking Taehyung from view. “That’s me,” he says, and he’s frowning, peering into Taehyung’s eyes. “Heterochromia,” he says. “Huh. Your eyes are very unique.”

“Yeah, I know,” Taehyung says. He seems confused as he turns to look over at Seokjin. “Sorry, how do you know Jimin?”

“Oh, we work at the Palace together,” Seokjin tells him, at the same time as Jimin’s quiet, “the Palace.”

What the fuck is going on?

“You didn’t meet him through Jungkook?” Hoseok asks, looking surprised.

“No,” Seokjin shakes his head. “What do you mean?”

“Jimin and Jungkook know each other, right?” Hoseok glances between the two. “For a few months now.”

Jungkook has no idea what to say. Why was Taehyung here, with Jimin? How did Taehyung even know any of his hyungs?

He glances over at Jimin, but the omega looks unimpressed, even a little angry and Jungkook has to look away again.

In the awkward silence, Hoseok coughs. “Um, did I say something wrong?”

Jungkook swallows heavily. Jimin opens his mouth. “We’re here to talk about joining your pack,” he tells Namjoon, bypassing Hoseok’s questions completely.

“We can talk about it,” Namjoon says, a little cautiously. “But we’re all a pack here. We’re all meant to get along.”

Taehyung’s laughter cuts through the room, sharp and mocking, and Jungkook feels the hair on the back of his neck go up.

“Maybe,” Taehyung agrees. “But I’m not joining any pack with Jungkook.”

This gets everyone’s attention, and suddenly the room is very quiet. What the fuck? Jungkook thinks. What was Taehyung doing? Jungkook had stayed away from Jimin, just like Taehyung had asked. He hadn’t called him or returned any of his messages. What more could Taehyung possibly want from him?

“Excuse me?” Namjoon asks, voice deep and rough and approaching dangerous.

“I wasn’t born into this world,” Taehyung tells them. “I was changed. I was bitten when I was ten years old.”

“A lone wolf did it,” Jimin says, voice smooth like honey. Jungkook flinches.

“No,” Taehyung shakes his head. “That’s what a lot of people think, but no. It wasn’t a lone wolf. It was a pack of wolves who lived out in the forest.”

“You’re talking about a nomadic pack,” Namjoon says, and his gaze slides to Seokjin.

And Jungkook finally understands what Taehyung’s doing. Keeping him away from Jimin was never going to be good enough for Taehyung. Taehyung wanted everything. He was going in for the big kill.

“What’s the point in telling this story?” He snaps, deeply uncomfortable. He should have never tried to be honest with Taehyung; he should have blackmailed Taehyung from the beginning.

It seems to shock everyone, his anger, and Jimin immediately comes to Taehyung’s defense. “If it bores you, you can leave,” Jimin says loftily. “Some of us listen when other people talk.”

And Jungkook’s anger dies, a little bit. “I just meant…it was such a long time ago.”

“And yet,” Taehyung says. “I still find myself confronting my past. You see,” he turns to the others. “I didn’t know who’d done this to me, who’d bitten me. You said my eyes are unique,” Taehyung repeats. His hands are shoved deep into his coat pockets, fidgeting with something. “And you’re right. They are. The gold one isn’t mine, it’s Jungkook’s.”

This time, the silence is so thick that Jungkook almost feels suffocated. He can’t stop looking at the anger on Taehyung’s face because he thinks if he looks at anyone else he’ll see deep revulsion, hatred, disgust. He can’t have that from his hyungs, from Jimin.

“What?” Namjoon breathes.

“I only got two things from the wolf that bit me,” Taehyung continues. “Gold eyes, and this.” He pulls something out of his pocket, and Jungkook’s gaze flickers down to it.

It’s the totem, the one Seokjin had given him as a pup. It’s as crudely carved as ever, rough and disproportional. And then Seokjin gasps. It’s enough to shock Taehyung, who looks surprised as Seokjin takes a few unsteady steps forward and plucks it out of his grasp.

“This…this is mine,” he whispers, and now Taehyung looks extremely confused.

“What?”

“I made this,” Seokjin says softly. “For Jungkook.” He looks up, and then everyone’s looking at Jungkook, all of his hyungs and Jimin too, and Jungkook can’t stand it. What had been the point of everything, if it was all going to come to this?

“Wait,” Yoongi says slowly. “What exactly is this? What’s going on here?”

“You all think Jungkook needs your protection, when really, he’s the monster who did this to me,” Taehyung tells them.

“Shut up.” Seokjin’s voice is soft, calm, deadly.

Taehyung pauses. “Excuse me?”

“I said, shut up,” Seokjin snaps. “Jungkook stopped wearing this totem when he was nine years old. I thought he’d lost it, or that he just didn’t like it anymore, but you’re blaming him for something he did as a child? Something he had no control over?”

Taehyung’s glaring now. “I was a child too! That didn’t stop me from recognizing a monster when I saw one!”

“Kim Taehyung.”

Taehyung flinches, turning to look at Jimin. The omega is frowning, eyes sharp like glass, glaring up at Taehyung.

“I can’t believe you,” Jimin continues, voice hard as stone. “You didn’t like Jungkook, from the moment you first saw him at my place. And you knew who he was, but you never said anything to me.”

Taehyung’s mouth drops open. “Let me explain.”

“You had months to do that,” Jimin says coolly. “And I find myself really unwilling to listen to you right now. I know exactly what this is. This is all just your stupid desire for revenge. I feel like an absolute idiot. Here I was, thinking that we were finally going to find a pack together, but you just used it to satisfy your own vanity. I’m tired, Taehyung.”

Taehyung’s face contorts into something mean.

“You’re just saying that because Jungkook got into your bed,” Taehyung snaps. “He’s a monster.”

Jungkook can’t take it anymore, not that word, not all his hyungs hearing the worst thing he’s ever done, not the way he can’t seem to control anything in his life.

He runs.

“Wait, Jungkook!” he hears called out behind him, but he doesn’t turn back, not even at the sound of footsteps chasing after him.

He takes the stairs instead of the elevator because he doesn’t want to wait for it, and still, he can hear the pounding of footsteps behind him, echoing up the stairwell.

He reaches the bottom, and pauses for a moment to reach for the door handle, and it’s all the time the person behind him needs to jump from the last few steps to throw themselves onto his back, arms and legs wrapping around him tightly, clinging like a koala.

“Stop running from me,” Jimin pants into his neck, tiny hands linked together tightly over Jungkook’s chest.

He pauses. “Jimin?” he asks, incredulous.

Jimin makes a soft noise of distress. “I think I twisted my ankle running after you.”

Jungkook turns his head, and Jimin’s nose brushes his cheek. “Jimin, go back.”

“No,” Jimin huffs, tightening his arms and legs around Jungkook.

“Jimin,” Jungkook says.

“Jungkook,” Jimin snaps back.

And then one of the doors on an upper floor slams open, and Jungkook hears Hoseok’s voice echo down the stairwell. So he makes a decision, hikes Jimin up onto his back more comfortably, and reaches for the door handle again.

Outside of Hoseok’s building, Jungkook doesn’t know where to go. He wanders in no particular direction, following the grey slabs of cement on the sidewalk. He doesn’t say anything, and Jimin doesn’t either. Every so often, the omega sighs, a puff of warm air against Jungkook’s skin.

Eventually Jungkook finds a park, and sets Jimin down on the bench. “I’ll be right back,” he says quietly.

He’s stopped by Jimin’s hand; he’s reached out to take a hold of the back of Jungkook’s shirt. “Make sure you come back,” he says.

Jungkook nods. “I promise.”

Jimin lets go, but he doesn’t look convinced. It stabs at Jungkook’s chest, so he tries his best to be quick, making his way across the street and into the convenience store to get an ice pack.

Jimin looks relieved when Jungkook comes back, and it makes him feel even guiltier. “For your ankle,” Jungkook explains, sitting on the park bench. Jimin shifts to sit sideways, kicking off his shoes and planting both feet in Jungkook’s lap.

“It’s the left one,” he says.

Jungkook wraps his hand around Jimin’s calf, pressing the ice pack to his ankle, and Jimin flinches. “Sorry.”

Jimin shakes his head. “It’s just cold, it’s okay.” He’s silent for a moment, chin resting on his arm that’s bent over the back of the bench, watching Jungkook’s profile. “I’m really mad at you, you know.”

Jungkook ducks his head. “Okay.”

Jimin exhales. “No, not okay,” he says. “I don’t want to be mad at you. Do you want me to be mad at you?”

Jungkook shakes his head.

“Then explain this to me,” Jimin says. “You completely cut me out, Jungkook. Do you know how that felt? Waking up to that letter? I thought I’d done something wrong, but you wouldn’t even talk to me or explain it. I felt awful.”

Jungkook finally looks up. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Jimin, I promise. This was all me.”

“I know that now,” Jimin says. “Do you know what the worst part was?” He reaches forward with his other hand, pinky extended. “You made me a promise, Jungkook. Do you remember what that promise was?”

Jungkook looks down at Jimin’s hand, and then he moves slowly, linking their pinkies together. “That we’d always be together. That we’d always find each other. That you wouldn’t go somewhere I couldn’t reach you.”

“You broke that promise,” Jimin tells him, hand falling limply down to his lap. “You left me all alone.”

Jungkook sucks in a sharp breath, because it kind of feels like he’s been punched in the chest. “I’m sorry,” he says, even weaker.

Jimin makes another soft noise, and when Jungkook looks up, his eyes are a little wet. “So what do you want to do now, Jungkook? Either we say goodbye, and we leave each other, never get involved in each other’s lives again, or you tell me what the fuck is going on. Because I’ve shown you so much of myself, Jungkook, and right now I feel like I hardly know you.”

It's silent, after he says this, and Jungkook’s fingers tighten around Jimin’s leg. “I don’t know how to do that,” he says, eventually, quietly.

“Do what?” Jimin asks.

“Show myself to you,” Jungkook explains. “It’s too messy, and…I don’t know what you want to see.”

Jimin frowns. “What do you mean?”

Jungkook licks his lips. “It’s easy, with other people. It’s easy to figure out what they want to see when they look at me. My hyungs were a bit more of a challenge, but I eventually figured them out too. But, with you, I can’t seem to do it. You said that you don’t know me, but Jimin, I have a really hard time hiding myself when I’m with you.”

“Then stop,” Jimin tells him, voice bubbling with soft disbelief. “Stop trying to hide it. Do I really seem like the type of person to run away? I just chased you down three flights of stairs and threw myself at you just so that you couldn’t escape me.”

Jungkook shakes his head. The ice pack has gone soft now, and he sets it aside, his thumb brushing against Jimin’s ankle. “Jimin,” he says. “The first time you met me, I was dying at the side of the road from wolfsbane poisoning. I called you angel, because you were so beautiful, and I thought that I was going to die. But you told me to live, and I did.” He swallows, and turns to look at the omega. “That was me, your shadow.”

Jimin’s smiling, something very small and soft. “I know,” he says simply. “I figured it out a while ago.”

“You did?” Jungkook asks.

“Mhm,” Jimin nods. “Did Yoongi-hyung tell you I asked about meeting JK?”

“Yeah.”

“I was pissed that you were ignoring me,” Jimin tells him. “I wanted to march right up to your studio and yell at you, because I thought you were just playing with me. It turns out you’re just scared of me, huh?”

“Scared?” Jungkook echoes.

“Scared,” Jimin confirms, lips turned up into a bigger smile. “Scared of your feelings for me.”

“I-what?”

“Taehyung must have said something to you,” Jimin says. “For you to stay away. But you wouldn’t have listened to him if you didn’t care. The fact that you didn’t want me to find out, it means that you care about what I think. You want me to think of you as some amazingly kind alpha, but that’s not you. And Jungkook?”

“Yeah?” he asks weakly.

Jimin leans forward. “I like you more this way. You feel more real. Didn’t I tell you before? I want to know all of you, Jungkook.”

He licks his lips again. “You might not like what you find.”

Jimin shakes his head. “I’m really stubborn,” he informs Jungkook. “You can’t get rid of me that easily. So stop trying.”

Jungkook can’t help but laugh in disbelief. In all the different ways he’d played out this conversation in his head, none of them had turned out like this. He shifts in his seat, to grab to melting ice pack to throw it out, but he feels a soft tug against his sleeve. And then he realizes that Jimin had been gripping onto his sleeve the whole time, so that Jungkook couldn’t move away without Jimin knowing.

And Jungkook thinks, take control of your story.

“My birth pack killed humans.”

Jimin’s fingers tighten, but he doesn’t say anything.

“When I was nine years old, training to become an alpha of our pack, my teacher brought a group of us to the border of the Territory to kill a group of humans who were camping. Taehyung was in the group,” Jungkook pauses, and the memories flash by him, almost like he can see them playing out before his very eyes. “I killed two adults, and I didn’t even hesitate. I was…proud that I was doing something for my pack, that I could make humans scared of me. I’d learned so much, you see, about how to hunt and how to kill. All I wanted was to be a good alpha.”

“So…what happened?” Jimin asks, voice almost a whisper.

“I saw Taehyung hiding behind this rock, and just…it was like this switch inside of me just turned over, and I was terrified,” Jungkook chokes out. “Looking at Taehyung, it was like seeing my own fear staring back at me. I just – I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kill him. So when my teacher told me to, I only pretended. I bit Taehyung, but I didn’t know that it would change him. I thought I was saving his life.”

He’s bent over himself, elbows on his knees, like the can’t carry the weight of what he’d done. But then Jimin presses up against his side, a warm hand sliding up his back.

“You did,” Jimin says. “You did save his life.”

“No-”

“What if it hadn’t been you?” Jimin interrupts. “What if another wolf had found him? He would be dead.”

“Jimin, stop trying to justify it,” Jungkook says.

“I’m not,” Jimin snaps back. “I’m telling you the truth. It was horrible, what happened. It sounds like the worst thing I’ve ever heard. But you were a child.”

“I should have known better.”

“How?” Jimin demands. “How could you have known better? That’s how you grew up, and you’re so guilty about it now, so look how much you’ve grown! It’s enough to realize that what you did was wrong, and to make a change for the better.”

And god, but that’s the only thing Jungkook’s ever wanted – to be better. To be good. To be a good alpha to his pack and to his mate.

“Am I?” he asks. “Am I a better person now? I can’t tell; I don’t think I am.”

Jimin hooks his chin over Jungkook’s shoulder, so his mouth his close to Jungkook’s ear. “Would you do it again now? What you did, all those years ago, when you were only a child?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done,” he grounds out. His chest feels too tight, like a weight on his chest is constricting his breath.

“Then where can you go, besides up?” Jimin asks. His palm cups Jungkook’s cheek, smooth and soft, tilting Jungkook’s head so that the alpha turns to look at him. “Let me show you how, Jungkookie. You don’t have to do this by yourself. You’re not alone anymore.”

And then the dam breaks. Tears spill over, wet and messy, and Jungkook ducks his head down to Jimin’s chest, wrapping two arms tight around the omega’s waist. Jimin wraps his arms around Jungkook’s shoulders, pulling Jungkook even closer, raking his hands through Jungkook’s hair and down his back, pressing warm kisses to his temple.

“You’re not alone.”

☽

By the time Hoseok returns to his apartment, the tension in the room has reached an almost inescapable weight.

“Um,” he says, breaking the silence. “What the hell was that?”

Taehyung looks pale, probably from the way Jimin has snapped at him and then run out after Jungkook, moving faster than anybody else.

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Seokjin says icily.

Taehyung clears his throat. “This isn’t my fault.”

“It kind of is,” Seokjin scoffs. “You better give us a damn good reason for doing what you just did.”

“You deserved to know the truth,” Taehyung says. “About who Jungkook really is. About what he’s done. Do you think he’d ever tell you if I hadn’t said something?”

The couch creaks as Yoongi finally moves, sitting forward and bracing his elbows on his knees. “You came here, to a room full of people who love Jungkook, and you tried to turn us against him. I don’t know what you were hoping to accomplish, but the idea of giving you a place in our pack doesn’t sit well with me.”

Taehyung curls into himself a little bit, at that, and Hoseok feels the faintest twinge of pity. “Taehyung, did you want us to…abandon Jungkook? Leave him? Kick him out of our pack? I don’t get it; what exactly were you trying to do here?”

“I just – I wanted you to know,” Taehyung argues. “He took so much from me, when he bit me. Why can’t I do the same thing to him, huh? Why are you all treating me like the bad guy when this all started with him?”

“He was a child,” Seokjin snarls, hands gripping the wooden totem tightly. “I’m sorry for what happened to you, Taehyung-ssi, I really am, but you don’t know the first thing about what Jungkook went through as a pup. And trust me, he’d never do that to you because he wanted to.”

Taehyung makes a noise of disgust, and looks away.

Yoongi exhales noisily, evidently irritated, and stands up. “Well? Do you feel any better, for what you’ve done?”

“I don’t feel any worse,” Taehyung says mulishly.

Yoongi huffs out a laugh, but it’s humourless. “It looks like Jimin didn’t like what you did.”

Taehyung shrugs, his jaw clenched tightly. “Jimin will come around. He’ll see Jungkook for what he really is.”

“Or maybe you will,” Namjoon says, finally speaking up. He’s been watching Taehyung the whole time, with a steady gaze, deep in thought.

“Excuse me?”

“What do you really know about Jungkook?” Namjoon asks. “I mean, besides what happened to you. Taehyung-ssi, I’m sorry you had to live through something like that, especially as a child. It must have been traumatic for you, especially given that you had to leave your family behind.”

Taehyung shrugs again, looking uncomfortable. “My family wasn’t with me,” he says. “I went with my friend’s family on a camping trip, and that’s when we were attacked. I’m the only one who lived.”

“Why?”

Taehyung frowns. “What?”

“Why were you the only one who lived?” Namjoon clarifies. “Did you run away? How did you escape?”

“Oh, uh,” Taehyung looks away again, more uncomfortable now. “Jungkook bit me, but he wasn’t doing it to kill me. It felt like he was trying to though, it fucking hurt. I don’t know why he didn’t kill me, and I don’t really care to know.”

“And that’s when you changed?” Hoseok pipes up, curious.

“Yeah, a day later,” Taehyung nods. “I was wandering around the forest, lost, hurt, and I don’t know what it’s like for born-wolves, but the first time you shift from a human? It was agonizing.”

“That’s so…” Seokjin purses his lips in thought. “It doesn’t seem possible. But somehow, it is.”

“What doesn’t?” Namjoon asks.

“That Taehyung would have been turned by Jungkook’s bite,” Seokjin sounds perplexed. “I’ve always been told that it’s something only adults wolves can do. I’ve never heard of a pup being able to turn another human. I mean, how?”

“Are you calling me a liar?” Taehyung asks, defensive.

“No,” Hoseok says, shaking his head. “I believe you, Taehyung. It’s rare, that pups could change a human child, but it’s happened. Not a lot, and only in extreme circumstances, but it has happened.”

“How?” Seokjin asks, curious.

“Always in situations where the pups have no other choice,” Hoseok says quietly. “Both pups would have to be terrified, seeking shelter, desperate for protection. Normally, a pup’s bite wouldn’t do anything at all. But when you have two children in that kind of situation…” he pauses, swallows. “It’s not just that Jungkook bit you,” he tells Taehyung gently. “Something inside of you was just as desperate for protection, and recognized that Jungkook was stronger, that you would both be stronger together. It’s the only way the bite would have taken hold; you accepted Jungkook’s protection.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen, and his teeth flash. “Are you making this my fault?”

“No,” Hoseok shakes his head.

“Because if that’s true, that’s not something I could control!”

“Neither could Jungkook,” Yoongi cuts in. “Or are you seriously standing there and blaming a nine-year-old without a choice? He was a fucking child, Taehyung. Do you think he made that decision on his own?” And then Yoongi turns to Seokjin. “What the fuck kind of pack did you grow up in?”

Seokjin exhales. “They hated humans,” he says quietly. “The pack was traditional, and we still told stories about what the humans did during the time of the First Alpha. I mean, I didn’t even know that we had illusions put up to protect us from humans. Our pack made it seem like we had to kill any humans we came across, to protect ourselves.”

Namjoon looks over at Taehyung. “Jungkook was only a tool,” he says quietly. “Indoctrinated into this belief system. I understand that he must have cause you so much pain, and I don’t want to lessen that for you. But I also want you to understand that you’re directing your anger to the wrong person. You and Jungkook were both victims of his birth pack. If Jungkook had done this to you when he was older, it would be very different. Why do you hate Jungkook so much, and not the man who put you both in that position?”

Taehyung frowns, and he doesn’t answer for a moment. He takes a few steps over to the armchair and plops down into the seat. “Jungkook…he did this, he was the one who bit me. It’s easier to focus on that. I was only a child, when it happened, so a lot of it just feels like one big blur; I can barely remember it. But I never forgot those gold eyes.” He pauses, drumming his fingers on the arm rest. “I had nightmares about him for years.”

“About Jungkook?” Namjoon asks.

“No,” Taehyung whispers. “About the man who was with him. The man who stood over us both, and told Jungkook to kill me. I don’t know who he was, but Jungkook called him seonsaengnim. He was…the scariest person I’ve ever seen.”

“Minseok-seonsaengnim,” Seokjin says quietly, and everyone turns to look at the omega. He looks a little sick. “He was very scary,” he agrees. “I always thought something wasn’t right with him, even more than how awful our pack was. Minseok wasn’t normal.”

Taehyung nods quickly, still looking down at his hands.

It’s quiet for even longer now, and then Hoseok clears his throat, hesitates. “Um,” he says. “I’m just a little curious. Because when adult wolves bite children, those pups change. They become the biological children of whoever bit them. But Jungkook was only a pup, and younger than you. So what did you become to him, when he bit you?”

“An enemy?” Taehyung scoffs, but it’s half-hearted. He looks downtrodden, slumped in his seat.

“Brothers,” Namjoon says. “You became brothers.” He’s studying Taehyung again. “It makes sense, especially given his eyes.”

Taehyung looks up again, but he doesn’t look surprised.

“Why doesn’t that surprise you?” Namjoon asks.

“My halmoni who adopted me, she had the same theory,” Taehyung tells them. “I only told her about what really happened to me, because I had all those nightmares. She looked into it, about pups biting human children, and she told me that the pup who had bit me was probably my brother now. She said because of that, we’d always be connected.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wasn’t really sure what she meant by that either,” Taehyung says slowly. “But then years ago, I was with Jimin and his Appa, on a trip to the City. And while Jimin’s Appa was driving, I had this really bad feeling, kind of like I was going to throw up, like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I told Jimin, and he made his Appa pull over. And then, at the side of the road, there was this boy lying there. I thought he was dead, but he wasn’t. He’d been poisoned with wolfsbane.”

Hoseok sucks in a sharp breath.

“That boy was Jungkook,” Taehyung murmurs. “I don’t know what it all means, our connection, but I saved his fucking life.”

“And he saved yours,” Namjoon counters, but it’s gentle. “You would be dead in that field if it had been any other wolf. And that’s the truth, Taehyung-ssi.”

☾

Jungkook takes Jimin home, carrying the omega on his back. Jimin had tried to refuse him at first, but he’d given in when Jungkook had pointed out that you’re a dancer, Jimin.

“My ankle is definitely healed by now,” Jimin grumbles into his ear, plastered against Jungkook’s back as they make their way into Jimin’s apartment. He lowers Jimin down onto the couch, and then straightens up, looking towards the kitchen.

“Should I get another ice pack?”

Jimin tugs on his sleeve, and Jungkook looks back down. “Jungkook, seriously. My ankle is fine. What’s this really about?”

Jungkook exhales, and then sinks down onto the couch beside the omega. “I just…I still feel really awful for leaving you. For breaking our promise.”

Jimin makes a soft noise. “You won’t do it again,” Jimin says, sounding very sure, and Jungkook nods his head.

“Being away from you…I hated it,” Jungkook admits. After telling Jimin about the worst thing he’s ever done, it’s easier, a tiny bit easier, to tell Jimin all of the things he’d only ever kept on the inside. He’s tongue darts out to swipe at his bottom lip. “You said that you wanted to know me, but I don’t know how to do that. So I was trying to think, on the way over here, what would make it easier for you to know me.”

“Yeah?” Jimin asks. His voice is soft, and so is his smile. “What did you come up with?”

“I thought maybe if you asked me questions, like asking me what you want to know, that would make it easier for me. Because then I – I wouldn’t hide so much,” Jungkook explains. “I’ll try not to.”

Because he could do that, for Jimin. It was a good place to start. He needed to know what Jimin wanted to know about him. Maybe then he could start to learn how to shift the pieces of his life, make it into something more. Jimin would show him how, because Jimin was already where Jungkook wanted to go. It was in the way Jimin romanticized all the little things, making life out to be something more beautiful than Jungkook had ever known it to be.

“You’d be okay with that?” Jimin asks. “If I asked you about your life? And I mean, your whole life?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods. “You know about Taehyung, and about the orphanage too. I just – I want to take back some control of my story. I think this is how I can do it. You just…” Jungkook forces himself to go on, to say the words that want to stick in his throat. “You make me feel really safe.”

“Oh,” Jimin says softly. He pauses then, shifting closer to Jungkook, and his knees tilt into Jungkook’s lap.

“Is there anything you want to ask me?”

Jimin shakes his head. “Not right now,” he says, still so quiet. “I think you’ve been put through a lot today. Thank you for telling me the truth, by the way. I didn’t say that before.”

Jungkook nods, and he wants to say something more, but he doesn’t know how to put it into words. He feels like he hasn’t apologized enough, he feels like he hasn’t done anything close enough to making Jimin know how sorry he is for leaving.

But Jimin’s head is tilting cutely, and he’s peering up at Jungkook with warm eyes, his hand gripping subconsciously at Jungkook’s sleeve again. “What is it?” he asks. “Why do you still look so upset, Jungkookie?”

“I feel like I haven’t done enough,” Jungkook tells him. “To tell you how sorry I am.”

Jimin’s quiet for a moment. “You told me something deeply personal,” he finally says, voice gentle. “You told me about something you’re not proud of…the worst thing you’ve ever done. I think you’ve shown me how sorry you are, Jungkook. You don’t have to rip yourself open just to make me forgive you. That’s not healthy, and I won’t let you do that. We’ll take it slow, okay?”

Jungkook exhales, turning to Jimin and wrapping his arms around the omega, once more burying his face into Jimin’s chest. “Okay,” he says, voice muffled, and because he’s so heavy Jimin falls back against the arm of the couch, pulling Jungkook with him.

“Seriously, Jungkook,” laughter bubbles in Jimin’s voice as they settle there, Jimin sitting up and Jungkook lying across him, buried in the softness of his stomach, Jimin’s fingers running soothingly through his hair. “You know,” Jimin says. “I really like you podcast.”

“You do?” Jungkook asks.

“Mhm,” Jimin murmurs, still running his fingers through Jungkook’s hair, scrapping gently at his scalp. “I listen to you every night. I fall asleep to the sound of your voice.”

Jungkook tightens his arms around Jimin.

“I told you I’m super lonely living on my own,” Jimin continues. “But your podcast makes it better. When I first started listening, I had no idea it was you. But then you started talking about…about your angel,” Jimin’s voice grows warmer. “And I thought, no way, could it be the boy from all those years ago? And then you called me angel when we were at the cabin, and it all just made sense. You’d always felt familiar to me.”

“You saved my life,” Jungkook tells him, quietly, firmly. “All those years ago, when you told me to live, to not give up. I never forgot you.”

“And I never forgot you,” Jimin says. “Jungkook,” he continues, hesitating. “I’m not some amazing omega, and I’m not just saying that to be humble or whatever. I’m just me. We met all those years ago by chance, but sometimes I worry that you only think of me that way. As an angel. I guess I just wonder what you think of me, when you say that you love me.”

Jungkook is silent for a moment, and Jimin’s hands have stopped running through his hair.

“You’re really stubborn.”

“Huh?” Jimin asks.

“You’re really stubborn, and you get really snippy if I offer to water your plants because you’re weirdly possessive about them, and when you’re really mad you start ranting and you get snappy and you barely let the other person get a word in.”

“What?” Jimin asks again, confused.

“I know you’re not some perfect person,” Jungkook tells him. “I don’t think that exists anyway. But after we met again, if you weren’t as stubborn as you are, if you didn’t tell me about everything that goes on in your life, I don’t think we would be here now. Jimin, I think you would have let me go the minute I told you I was leaving.”

Jimin hums. “If you had been anyone else, I probably would have let you,” he says. “But…you left me that letter.”

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook says quickly.

“Don’t be,” Jimin chides softly. “That letter is how I knew I couldn’t give up, not yet at least. It was like…you were asking for help, but you just didn’t know how.”

Jungkook pushes himself up, a little bit, hovering just above Jimin and his chin brushes Jimin’s sternum. “You always see right through me,” Jungkook tells him, and Jimin reaches forward to cup Jungkook’s face in his hands.

“That’s just because you let me,” Jimin tells him. He brushes his thumbs along Jungkook’s cheeks, before pushing into the skin a little bit, pulling Jungkook’s lips into a facsimile of a smile. “I like it when you smile; you look so beautiful.”

“My teeth make me look like a bunny,” Jungkook tells him.

“It’s so cute,” Jimin exclaims, still pushing at Jungkook’s cheeks, until the alpha can’t help it and a smile stretches across his lips. Jimin exhales, expression brightening. “There it is,” he breathes. “My favourite look on you.”

Jungkook feels embarrassment in the warmth on his cheeks, and he leans back down, smooshing his face into Jimin’s chest. Jimin’s two arms come around him, pulling him into a tight hug, laughter shaking them both.

And then Jimin’s stomach gurgles, and Jungkook lifts his head up to catch Jimin’s cheeks flame red. “I’m hungry,” Jimin protests. “I didn’t eat lunch today.”

Jungkook finally lifts himself up off of Jimin, and the omega straightens out his shirt, standing up and resting a hand on his tummy as it gurgles again. “I want to order take-out,” Jimin announces. “I’m too tired to cook. What are you feeling?”

“I’m good with whatever you want.”

Jimin shoots him one last smile over his shoulder before he disappears beyond the doorway into the kitchen. Jungkook settles deeper into the couch, into the cinnamon and sugar scent. It’s only been two weeks since he last saw Jimin, but it feels like it’s been two lifetimes. He wishes he could go back to the Jungkook of two weeks ago, the Jungkook who’d pushed himself off his cold apartment floor in a desperation to see Jimin one last time, the Jungkook who’d felt like he was spiraling down an inescapable chasm. He wishes he could tell that Jungkook to just trust Jimin.

He moves from the couch to the record player, crouching down to flick through the records again. He pulls out a singer he recognizes, the same one from the first night Jimin had sang to him.

He’s slotting the record down into the player when Jimin’s quick footsteps race back into the room.

“Food’s on the way!” he cheers, and then he stops short at Jungkook standing by the records. “Oh? What did you pick?”

Jungkook drops the arm down, and static crackles at the speakers before the piano starts up.

I’ll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through

“Oh,” Jimin breathes. “I love this one!” He comes over to join Jungkook, reaching for his hand and pulling Jungkook over to the windows. “I want to show you something.”

He lets go of Jungkook’s hand to push one of the large windows up, and beyond the windowsill, it opens out onto the metal fire escape.

“I can’t keep anything out here permanently,” Jimin tells him, just over the sound of the music crooning in the background. “But grab those blankets in the basket.”

Jungkook grabs them from the basket behind the armchair, and Jimin shoves them out onto the fire escape, crawling up outside after them. “Come on!”

In that small café
The park across the way
The children’s carousel
The chestnut trees, the wishing well

Jungkook crawls out after him, and watches as Jimin arranges the pillows and blankets in a little nest. He pulls Jungkook down beside him, leaning against the building with the soft music floating through the open window.

“The night is clear,” Jimin tells him, pointing up at the moon and all of the stars. “I really like coming out here when it’s so bright. Moon magic really means moon magic, you know? I feel so much better when I can see the moon.”

I’ll be seeing you
In every lovely summer’s day
In everything that’s light and gay
I’ll always think of you that way

Their shoulders brush, and then Jungkook presses up more firmly against Jimin.

“When I was at the orphanage,” he says, mouth dry and voice almost like a whisper. “I slept on the bottom bunk. The way the room was set up meant that when I fell asleep every night, I could look up and see the moon.” He pauses, and feels Jimin’s hand slip into his, squeezing. “I liked it, how I could see the moon. It made me feel less alone, because…we’re all connected by the moon, aren’t we?”

“We are,” Jimin agrees softly. He turns his head to peer up at Jungkook. “You’ve never told that story on your podcast.”

Jungkook shrugs. “I guess I haven’t. I don’t really keep track of them.”

“You also told stories about me,” Jimin says. “Your angel.”

I’ll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I’ll be looking at the moon
But I’ll be seeing you

Jungkook looks down, embarrassed, but Jimin laughs, nudging Jungkook’s shoulder with his own until the alpha lifts his gaze. Jimin looks pleased. “I like that,” he says. “I like that you call me angel.”

“You do?”

“Yeah,” Jimin nods. “Call me angel. I want to hear you say it.”

Jungkook stares down at his brown eyes, so close that he swears he can see stars in them, feeling almost hypnotized by the warmth, by the affection, by the love. “Angel. Jimin, my angel.”

Jimin’s cheeks flush pink, and his bites his bottom lip. “Do it again,” he whispers.

“Angel.”

☽

Yejun meets Jungkook in front of a tall apartment building in the late afternoon, the sun gleaming off the windows without a cloud in the sky.

They step into the cool interior of the air-conditioned lobby, and Jungkook’s relieved. They’re stuck in the middle of a heat wave, in late May, and Jungkook’s shirt sticks to his back.

“Did you read the report I attached in the email?” Yejun asks, pressing on the button for the elevator.

Jungkook nods. “Yes,” he says. “Do we know if it’s the same perpetrator as the one who broke into Inner Child?”

Yejun lifts one shoulder in a shrug. “It’s possible. It’s highly likely. One act is random, but two implies intent.”

Jungkook nods, stepping into the elevator next to Yejun. He wonders if he should tell Yejun about his relationship with Taehyung, about their conflict, but he decides not to. It would only complicate things, and Taehyung’s desire for revenge had already burned him once. He probably wouldn’t say anything either.

Taehyung’s front door is hanging open, the lock smashed in and wooden splinters sticking out from the wall, as if someone had hit it multiple times. Inside the apartment, it’s worse than Inner Child.

The couches are torn open, the TV screen is smashed and it’s on the floor. Jungkook peeks into the kitchen, and the fridge is open and the food is scattered all over the floor and counters. Across one of the walls, spray painted in red: HUMAN FILTH.

Once again, Taehyung stands among the carnage. But this time, he looks scared, and he can’t hide it.

“Taehyung-ssi,” Yejun greets, as they walk up to beta. He’s standing near the windows, watching the guards who are collecting pieces of his apartment – evidence – to be taken away forever.

Taehyung’s gaze flickers to Jungkook, and then he looks down. It’s more of an acceptance than anything Jungkook’s gotten from him before.

“What happened?” Yejun asks.

Taehyung takes a deep breath in. He looks shaken, and his voice trembles faintly. “I got home to this,” he says softly. “I don’t know…I don’t understand. How could they know where I live?”

“You’re a very prominent beta,” Yejun tells him. “Making your own money while so young and without a pack. It’s admirable, but it draws attention.”

“It’s not my fault,” Taehyung says, more stiffly.

“I’m not saying it is,” Yejun says soothingly. “I’m saying that some people might have a problem with that. And obviously, someone did.”

Taehyung frowns, looking away.

“I know you don’t have a Pack Alpha,” Yejun says then. “But I really have to insist that you go and stay with any alpha you know, any alpha that could offer you some protection.” Yejun shifts, and looks out at the guards still moving in and out of the apartment. “I don’t advise you stay here, not right now at least. It’s a crime scene now.”

Taehyung exhales and nods. “I’ll go pack some things.”

Once he leaves, Yejun turns to Jungkook. “Take your car and drive him to whatever alpha he knows. We need to know where to find him. This case is turning into something bigger than I expected.”

“Yes, Yejun-nim,” Jungkook says. When Taehyung returns to the living room, he moves over to meet the beta by the door. “Ready to go?”

“You’re taking me?” Taehyung asks. He sounds reluctant, but it’s not like Jungkook wants this anymore than him.

“Just bear it a little longer,” Jungkook tells him, moving to the front door. Taehyung follows.

They’re silent in the elevator ride back down, and it’s only once they’re in Jungkook’s car that the younger finally says something. “Where should I take you?”

“I…I have no idea,” Taehyung murmurs. He still seems a little shocked, like he can’t get up the defenses he’s used to. Jungkook would almost call it vulnerable, and it reminds him, for a moment, of the child in the meadow, of Taehyung hiding behind the rock, of the way he’d clamped his hands over his mouth to stop any noise from escaping.

It makes something pull tight in Jungkook’s chest, and he watches Taehyung clench his fingers into fists, like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands.

“What alphas do you know? Who would let you stay with them, and give you some protection?”

Taehyung bites his bottom lip. “…Hoseok-hyung?”

It’s almost a whisper, and Jungkook stares. “You want me to take you to Hoseok-hyung’s apartment?”

“Nevermind, it was stupid,” Taehyung snaps, coming back to himself a little bit. “He wouldn’t want to see me right now. Not after…what happened.”

Jungkook frowns. “Hoseok-hyung would let you stay with him. Of course he’d let you stay. I’m not mean enough to let…what happened keep you away from somewhere safe.”

He pulls away from the curb then, and into traffic, heading to Hoseok’s apartment, the same place he’d run out of only a week earlier.

It’s silent for a while, and then Taehyung clears his throat.

“Can you tell Jimin what happened? At my apartment?” He asks, the politest he’s ever been. “I want him to know. Maybe ask him if he could come see me.”

Jungkook frowns. “We don’t you just call him?”

Taehyung won’t meet his gaze. His eyes are lowered to his hands in his lap. “He won’t pick up my calls.”

Oh, Jungkook thinks. “He’ll talk to you when he’s ready,” Jungkook says. “He loves you.”

“I know,” Taehyung says softly. “I guess I was just thinking that maybe I’d done something that was bad enough to push him away completely.”

“Jimin stayed by my side after I told him what I did to you,” Jungkook tells him. “He wouldn’t leave you. Not for something like this. I mean he…he tells you when you’re wrong, but he also celebrates you when you’re right. So he’ll come back to you.”

Taehyung finally lifts his gaze, studying Jungkook as he drives. “You really love him, don’t you?”

Jungkook flushes. “Yes.”

“Huh,” Taehyung says, looking back out the window. “Ever since you first called him angel?”

Jungkook hesitates, and then, “I didn’t know that’s what it was. I didn’t have a name for it, for what I felt for him. But yeah, I’ve loved him since I first called him angel.”

Taehyung nods, and then it’s silent again.

Hoseok looks surprised when he opens the door, flicking his gaze between them both and then settling on Jungkook. “What’s wrong?”

“Taehyung needs a place to stay,” Jungkook tells him. “His apartment was broken into, and it’s not safe for him there anymore.”

Hoseok’s eyes quickly dart to Taehyung, and a look of concern washes over his face. “Come in,” he says, ushering them both inside. “You can stay here as long as you need, Taehyung-ah. Don’t even worry about rent.”

“Hyung don’t be stupid,” Taehyung protests. “Of course I’ll pay you rent.”

Taehyung disappears further into the apartment, but Hoseok stays behind with Jungkook at the door. “Aren’t you coming in?”

“I have to go back to work,” Jungkook tells him. “But I’m going to go get Jimin and bring him back here.”

“Okay,” Hoseok acquiesces. “But I need to talk with you about something. Can you come by Namjoon’s house tonight?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jungkook nods. “I’ll come by after dinner.”

And then Hoseok pulls him into a hug before letting Jungkook go. On his way back downstairs, Jungkook pulls out his phone to text Yoongi; he brought Taehyung to Hoseok’s place because Taehyung had asked him to, and because Hoseok always got lonely without other people around. But Hoseok couldn’t provide protection the same way Yoongi could. It was better to be safer with two alphas.

Once he’s back in his car, he pulls away to drive to Jimin’s. He could call Jimin to tell him what had happened, but he knows the omega and he knows that Jimin would race over to Hoseok’s apartment as soon as he read Jungkook’s text.

Predictable, Jimin turns white as a sheet when Jungkook knocks on his door and tells him about the break in, hastily shoving his feet into his shoes to race out the door even though he’s wearing an old white shirt with tomato sauce stains and his hair is pulled half-up into a little pony tail at the top of his head to keep his bangs out of his face.

He drives Jimin back to Hoseok’s apartment, and once he’s sure the omega is safe inside, after watching Jimin throw himself at Taehyung to wrap the beta up in a tight hug, he leaves, heading back to Taehyung’s trashed apartment.

Yejun is standing alone in the middle of the living room, when Jungkook finally makes it back, eyes closed, and hands linked behind his back. Jungkook feels awkward for a moment, unsure if he should disturb the older alpha, but the Yejun snaps his eyes open.

“Did he say anything else?” Yejun asks. “In the car?”

Taehyung had said a lot, but nothing relevant to the case. “No,” Jungkook says. “He was scared.”

“I think he should be,” Yejun agrees. “This attack seems more personal. I don’t believe they were guessing he was a human-turned-wolf; I think they knew.”

“How?” Jungkook asks. Because that would either mean that Taehyung had told someone, or-

“Someone with access to the database sold the information,” Yejun says quietly. “Money is usually enough of an incentive, but occasionally they’ll do it for free if they hate betas enough.”

“A…a guard?” Jungkook asks, unable to keep the surprise out of his voice.

“Could be,” Yejun nods. “Or any of the Centres. The hospitals. High ranking members of the Head Alpha’s pack. Don’t repeat the last part though; you wouldn’t want anyone to hear you accusing the Head Alpha or his pack of being involved in something like this.”

“But you think he could be?”

Yejun shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything. I’ve never met Head Alpha.” He turns away from Jungkook then, stepping carefully though the wreckage over to the wall painted bright red: HUMAN FILTH.

“Are we going to find whoever did this?” Jungkook asks into the silence.

Yejun huffs out a soft laugh. “What did I tell you, Jungkook? I don’t bother chasing down the soldiers. No, I want the leaders. I want to take down entire empires of these people.”

“But shouldn’t we at least dedicate some time to finding the person who did this?” Jungkook asks. “It would make Taehyung-ssi feel better, safer.”

Yejun smiles, a little amused, a little condescending. “Let’s say you are allergic the bees, Jungkook, and you notice that there is a bee’s nest in your yard. Do you waste your time killing each and every bee the comes out? Or isn’t it more valuable to kill the queen?”

“I…I guess it makes sense, to target the queen,” Jungkook says slowly.

“Exactly,” Yejun says. “And that’s what I want to do. I want to kill the queen.”

☾

Salvation (n.) – the act of saving or protecting from harm, risk, loss, destruction; the state of being saved or protected from harm, risk; deliverance from the power and penalty of sin; redemption

Chapter Text

A total solar eclipse begins as a partial eclipse. Trees project the crescent sun, and shadows become sharper than normal. The landscape darkens to a bluish-grey and the temperature drops. From the west, the moon’s shadow rushes toward you like a silent storm. Look up, and you’ll see the last sliver of the sun sparkling like a diamond ring.

This is totality.

☽

Seokjin is never alone, not even when he sleeps.

There is a rotation of five mated alphas who guard him and the two other unmated omegas of his age group. The three omegas are always together, and never out of sight of one of their alpha guards.

Seokjin hates it. He hates the mated alphas who look at him with scorn in their eyes, and he hates the two other omegas who are complacent with their place in the pack. They’re both excited for their matings, but Seokjin just feels ill at the thought of the unknown alpha who would take him away from everything he knows, and away from Jungkook.

And then the pain of his guilt stabs like a knife to his gut. He has not spoken to Jungkook in months, not since that day in the forest.

He shivers. He can’t forget the awful noise, the sickening crunch of rock meeting flesh and bone, and then Jungkook’s collapse to the ground, like a puppet whose strings had been cut. Seokjin was sure he had been killed, right in that moment, that Jungkook had been hit so hard that he had died right before Seokjin’s very eyes.

It had strengthened the resolve Seokjin had felt, deep inside. Nothing he did could hurt Jungkook, not ever, not again. No one could think Seokjin had anything to do with Jungkook anymore. That way, they couldn’t blame Jungkook for what Seokjin was about to do.

He is alone. After years wishing desperately for his solitude, he’s somehow been left alone. The two other omegas aren’t in their shared tent, because one of them is sick and the other is in heat. There are no guards either; Seokjin thinks there must have been a miscommunication. All the guards must think one of the others is with Seokjin.

But Seokjin is alone.

He wastes no time is sneaking out of the shared tent, drawing the hood of his robes up over his head to hide his face and moving quickly from the tents to put as much distance as he can between himself and the guards. He wishes he could hide his scent too, like how Jungkook could, but Seokjin had never learned that. He’d never been taught anything that could give him an advantage over his alpha mate.

But Seokjin is not completely vulnerable. Because he had Jungkook.

He’d listened, he’d learned everything from the young pup ever since Jungkook had started his alpha training. It was the only way Seokjin was going to learn how to defend himself. Jungkook’s eyes had always sparkled when Seokjin asked him about his training, and the omega liked seeing Jungkook happy, but he’d also asked because he was selfish. Because he needed to know how alphas worked. Because he needed to know what he was up against.

He manages to get passed the tents without any problems. No one stops him, no one even looks twice, probably because no one expects an unmated omega to be out alone. Seokjin makes it all the way to the tree line, ducking behind the tents and beyond the cover of the forest.

He turns back once, to look back at the pack. It feels like something is tugging at his heart, and his wolf is whining, pawing at the ground, trying to nudge him back. His wolf is anxious that Jungkook is not here; his omega thinks he’s leaving a family member behind, a young pup who needs them.

He wishes he could see Jungkook one more time before he goes. Seokjin might be dead in the next few hours if he’s caught, and he desperately wishes he could see the young alpha one last time, just to see him smile, just to hear him pout and whine for his Seokjin-hyung like he used to when he was really little.

And then Seokjin’s gaze meets a pair of dark eyes staring back, and he freezes in place.

He’s not sure, for a moment, if the other wolf can see him, but she’s not looking away. Seokjin swallows thickly, ready, in that moment, for the call to sound out, for the rest of the pack to come running, to drag him back to Alpha.

And then, unbelievably, she looks away, as if she’d never seen Seokjin at all.

Seokjin takes two steps back, hidden from view, and then whirls around and races into the deep darkness of the forest, aiming for the river because Jungkook had told him it was the best way to hide a scent.

He thinks he might die before he makes it to the City, and that’s better than anything the pack might put him through.

☾

Despite the rising temperatures, and the muggy heat of mid-June, the Palace remains a cool oasis in the midst of the hazy City.

Still, Seokjin thinks the City must be at least five degree hotter than the surrounding villages, with its tall glass buildings and metal sidings. It makes him break out his summer robes much earlier than he usually does.

His summer robes are loosely fitted, flowing like water around his ankles, the material thin and gauzy and fluttering in the wind. With his hair tied up in a loose bun and his gem earrings dangling from each earlobe, he knows he looks good. He especially likes the way Namjoon’s eyes watch him, the way the alpha can’t seem to pull his gaze off of Seokjin, the way he seems to lose his train of thought when the omega floats by, collecting his black leather bag before leaving to take the bus to work. But he also knows that Namjoon is not alone in his attraction to Seokjin. Seokjin has had to deal with alpha attention his whole life.

“You look gorgeous, sweetheart,” an alpha calls out to him, as Seokjin pays his bus fare and moves to take a seat. He ignores the alpha; he’s used to alpha attention, but it doesn’t mean he’s ever figured out a way to successfully deal with it.

His birth pack had demanded that he submit to alphas, or at least that he provide the illusion of submission. Seokjin had learned it well; a sweet smile, a gentle voice, a demure tilt of his head. Never raising his voice above anything more than a gentle call, always lowering his eyes when an alpha meets his gaze.

Leaving his birth pack hadn’t taught him anything better, the only difference being in how often alphas demanded his submission. In the village he’d lived in out East, Seokjin had learned anger. He’d been so mad at what he’d gone through, in his birth pack, and he’d learned that he was allowed to be angry. It had felt liberating.

But the anger he felt at what had happened to him had never been able to bridge the distance and take over his instinctive submission in dealing with alphas. Maybe he’d been too firmly shaped by his birth pack. Maybe deep down, he’d never be able to think of alphas as anything different than the only two categories he’s ever known: Jungkook, and not Jungkook.

The Palace, an oasis in all of this, gives him a safe haven removed from the judgement, the stares, the approval of alpha eyes. But even here, Seokjin has learned he is not safe. Some alphas are too desperate to invade even the most private of Omega spaces.

There is one alpha – Kim Dongmin – who will not leave Seokjin alone, no matter how many times the omega makes his discomfort clear. Dongmin is from the University, and he spends hours within the Palace walls, and somehow those hours have translated into a relentless pursuit of Seokjin. Seokjin’s taken to hiding out in his office to avoid the alpha.

He hasn’t told Namjoon about it, but it’s only because he’s not sure what Namjoon could actually do. Already, Jungkook has warned Dongmin off, two weeks earlier when he’d come by to pick up Jimin. Dongmin had stopped Seokjin in the halls, stood so close that Seokjin was nauseous from his pine scent, saved only by the hard voice coming from the alpha a few feet away.

Hyung?

Jungkook had stepped up beside Seokjin, curling an arm around the omega and placing himself between Seokjin and Dongmin. His shoulders were tense, his voice was tight, and when he spoke, he couldn’t keep a snarl out of his words. Who are you? Why are you bothering Seokjin-hyung?

Even moreso than when they were pups, Seokjin’s noticed how protective Jungkook is of him now, a possessive edge to his words, to his actions. Seokjin understands where it comes from, and he sees the same vigilance directed towards Jungkook’s three alpha hyungs. As a pup, Jungkook’s possessiveness for Seokjin had been tempered because of his age, because of his small size. Now, Seokjin’s sure that it has been tempered from the years he’d spent with his three hyungs who’d taught him, consciously and subconsciously, how to cope with what had happened to him.

Still, sometimes the possessiveness won out, but Seokjin’s glad for it, glad to be behind the wall of strength that is Jungkook. It’s almost funny, he muses, that Seokjin’s anger had been dialed up to eleven when Jungkook was in danger, but how that same anger seemed to elude him when Seokjin was the one in trouble. He doesn’t know why it comes so much easier to him to protect Jungkook and not himself.

Jungkook had told him to tell Namjoon, and Seokjin had thought about it, but Dongmin hadn’t been warned off by Jungkook. He’d been right back in Seokjin’s space the very next day, and Seokjin thinks telling another alpha won’t do much good. He thinks he’s just supposed to grin and bear it.

“Seokjin-ssi!”

He turns at the call of his name, lips settling into a placid smile, a polite smile, but he can’t help the way he tightens his grip on the files he holds to his chest. It’s the only sign of discomfort Seokjin allows himself. Dongmin approaches, as tall as Namjoon but the similarities end there. He’s far lankier than Namjoon, hair perfectly coiffed and robes immaculate, and his lack of muscle mass and smooth palms imply that he does no physical work of his own.

“Hello Dongmin,” Seokjin says. The alpha has caught up to him now, a little breathless. He’s smiling brightly, too obvious about his attraction to Seokjin, no matter how many times Seokjin has turned him down.

“I’m so happy I got to see you today,” Dongmin says, still pink-cheeked but now no longer from exertion. “It always brightens my day when I get to see you. You look beautiful, by the way.”

Seokjin knows he does. He likes looking good, and he does it both for himself and for Namjoon. The thrill that shoots through him when the alpha watches him with a heated gaze makes Seokjin far happier than any string of words Dongmin could ever put together. Maybe in another life Seokjin would be weaker to Dongmin’s compliments, but Dongmin is nothing like Namjoon. He’s nothing like the alpha Seokjin wants.

“Thank you,” Seokjin accepts the compliment graciously. He hasn’t asked for it, nor does he want Dongmin’s compliments, but he once saw Dongmin screaming at a tiny omega who worked at the Palace, who was apparently Dongmin’s ex, who had a burn mark on the back of her hand that she always tried her best to hide.

Dongmin was only in the Palace because he was from the University, and because he was from the University, it meant that Seokjin owed him a certain level of respect. It also meant that Dongmin was protected by authority far superior to the Palace. Even if the Head Alpha and Head Omega were meant to be equals, it didn’t always mean that was the case.

“Look,” Dongmin says, still walking by Seokjin’s side, a little too close for comfort. “What are you doing after work? There’s this new restaurant close by, maybe we could check it out?”

“He’s busy,” a new voice cuts in, and then Jimin’s squeezing himself between the pair, huffing as he links his arm through Seokjin’s. Dongmin stumbles in surprise, and Seokjin can’t help the flash of disdain that curls through him – Dongmin’s an alpha, Dongmin should have seen Jimin coming from a mile away.

“Hi Jimin,” Dongmin says, much cooler now. His smile is faded, his eyes are sharper. Jimin sends a cutting smile right back.

“Hi Dongmin,” Jimin replies sweetly, words like sugar-coated knives. “What are you still doing here? You should have been on your way two hours ago. I hope you weren’t waiting around to catch Seokjin-hyung. I mean, hyung’s busy, you know? I remember how you used to do the same thing with me. How many times are you going to hang around the Palace, waiting for an omega to notice you?”

Fury flares in Dongmin’s eyes, and he takes a step forward. Seokjin’s breath hitches, but Jimin scoffs. “You’re in omega territory,” Jimin warns, and up and down the hallway doors start to open, omegas peeking out to watch, a few even stepping beyond the threshold of the doorways and into the hall. “Are you sure you want to go any further?”

Dongmin hesitates, glancing over to the watchful eyes of the other omegas. His nose twitches, and a low growl escapes, but none of the other omegas retreat. A few more step out into the hallway now, and then Dongmin finally takes a step back.

“Whatever,” he mumbles, turning his burning glare back to Jimin. “You’ve always been such a fucking bitch, Jimin, you know that?”

Jimin snorts. “Yeah, I know,” he agrees, and then Dongmin’s retreating back down the hall, towards the entrance of the Palace. “Go on,” Jimin mutters, only loud enough for Seokjin to hear. “Run away with your tail between your legs.”

Around them, the omegas start to head back into their offices, doors closing and leaving the hallway in silence. And then Jimin swings on Seokjin fully. “How long has Dongmin been bothering you?”

Seokjin furrows his eyebrows. “A few days after I first started here, I guess,” Seokjin tells him. “Why?”

“He’s a menace,” Jimin explains, pulling on Seokjin’s arm as they continue in the direction Seokjin had originally been walking. “He thinks alphas are superior, like they’re owed an omega’s love or something. What he’s doing to you now…he tried the same thing with me when I first started working here.”

Seokjin blinks. “How did you…”

“Make him stop?” Jimin asks. He waits as Seokjin pushes open the door to his office, and then follows the older alpha into the room. “I’m lucky,” Jimin says. “I come from a pretty prominent family. I turned him down, and there wasn’t really much he could do about it.”

Seokjin hums to show that he’s listening, as he moves around the room, putting away different files and books. He can feel Jimin watching him, and then the younger omega makes a soft noise.

“Have you said anything? I mean, to him? Or…to anyone?”

“About the attention?” Seokjin asks, finally finished cleaning up. He moves over to the large bay window, his favourite part of his office. It looks out into one of the interior courtyards.

“Yeah,” Jimin says. “Have you told anyone?”

“I’ve turned him down,” Seokjin says slowly, watching a group of older omegas taking a turn of the courtyard below. His eyes catch on one of them; her long dark hair, her small stature, her bare feet. She is wearing the same white robes as the other omegas, but something about the slope of her nose, the slant of her eyes makes him pause.

“And he’s still going after you?” Jimin scoffs, moving over to join Seokjin by the window. “You should tell Namjoon-hyung.”

“I should…what?” Seokjin asks, startled, and he momentarily drags his eyes away from the group of omegas below.

“Dongmin won’t leave you alone, even though you’ve already said no,” Jimin explains. “Namjoon’s going to be your Pack Alpha. If Dongmin doesn’t listen to him, the consequences are much bigger. It could start a pack war.”

Seokjin glances back down into the courtyard, towards the same omega he’d been watching before. “Okay,” he says, softer now as panic tightens in his gut. He recognizes her now, the omega below. He can’t believe he didn’t see it sooner. “I’ll tell him.”

☽

Years ago, when Hoseok had first bought his apartment, he’d stared at the blank walls and empty floor of the second bedroom and decided that it was more important to have a place for his friends to sleep than a private office of his own.  He doesn’t regret his decision, especially now that Taehyung’s safety depends on it, but he’s realized the drawbacks of having his desk and filing cabinet out in his living room, especially now that he’s sharing his space.

He tries his best to keep everything clean, to lock up his files and desk, but Hoseok has always allowed himself to be lazy about it in his own home. Besides, it’s not like he keeps patient files in his apartment.

The apartment’s quiet, when Hoseok unlocks the door, even though he knows Taehyung is home. Unlike when they had first met, Taehyung had retreated into himself after his apartment was trashed. He smelled a little too much like fear, these days, and he didn’t like to leave Hoseok’s apartment.

“Has Jungkook mentioned any breaks in the investigation?” Yoongi asks, following Hoseok into his apartment and carrying most of their take-out dinner. “Or like, has he said anything about Taehyung being his brother? When he left Namjoon’s place he didn’t look as bad as I thought he would.”

“No,” Hoseok tells the other alpha, kicking his shoes off and moving into the kitchen. “With the case…he said he couldn’t really talk about it, not until he had something concrete. And with Taehyung being his brother…” Hoseok pauses. “I don’t know,” he says finally. “I thought the same thing, actually, when he left. He didn’t look upset; he accepted it.”

Yoongi hums in response, lowering the paper bag on the counter and then he begins pulling out different containers of food. “Do you think it’s Jimin’s influence?”

Hoseok shrugs. “Maybe. Probably. Remember when we first found out they knew each other? You said that maybe Jimin gave Jungkook something we couldn’t. I think you were right about that.”

Yoongi takes out the last Styrofoam container, and then he starts folding up the brown paper bag. “The truth is,” he says. “The most we could ever do is show Jungkook how to live a better life. We can’t make him actually go there. That had to come from himself.” He moves around the side of the island in Hoseok’s kitchen to take a seat at one of the chairs. “Jimin was the catalyst for that, I think. If Jimin’s already where Jungkook wants to go, then wouldn’t that be enough of an incentive to actually make the effort to start going to that place too?”

Hoseok opens his cutlery drawer, pulling out three sets of chopsticks. “I guess you’re right,” he says slowly, thinking about it. “But I think even more than that, Jungkook’s starting to realize exactly who he wants to be. He was lost for a long time, I think.”

“Mhm,” Yoongi nods, watching Hoseok open up each of the containers. “Where’s Taehyung?” He asks then, shifting topics. “Is he out?”

Hoseok shakes his head. “I don’t think so. The investigation is kind of stressing him out. He doesn’t like going out that much anymore.”

Yoongi exhales, eyebrows drawing together. “I hope they solve it soon. At least then Taehyung might feel more comfortable going outside.”

Hoseok looks up. “You noticed it too?” He asks, worried. “I don’t know what to do, to make him feel safer. The club could have been random, but to find out where he lives? To destroy his home?”

Yoongi looks over at him with dark eyes, knowingly. “Whoever did this…they’re not coming here, Hoseok.”

“But what if they do?” Hoseok asks, unable to help himself. “What protection am I really offering him here, hyung? I’ve said it before but I…I’m not an alpha like you.”

“I know,” Yoongi acknowledges. “Hoseok, that’s why I’m here. If someone manages to track down Taehyung, they’re not making it passed me. But Taehyung gets something different from you, and something I think is far more valuable.”

“Like what?” Hoseok asks, disbelieving.

“Comfort,” Yoongi says simply. “Taehyung is scared, but he knows that he’s allowed to be, here with you. He can talk about it. He can work through it. It’s safe for him here.”

Hoseok takes a deep breath, and then nods. “Okay,” he says in agreement, maybe to both Yoongi’s offer of protection and to his own role in Taehyung’s safety.

“Okay,” Yoongi says back, scent as calm as ever, a small smile tilting at his lips. “Where is Taehyung anyway? He should eat.”

“I’ll get him,” Hoseok offers, and he goes to move out of the kitchen to look for the beta and nearly runs into Taehyung. “Oh!”

Taehyung brushes passed Hoseok, and the alpha twirls in place to watch Taehyung step up to the counter, a very familiar file in his hands. And then Taehyung slams it down on to the white granite, and a pit sinks in Hoseok’s stomach. Oh no.

“What the fuck is this?”

Yoongi blinks, looking between the file on the counter and Taehyung’s glowering expression. “Uh, what?”

Taehyung looks over at Hoseok. “Hyung?”

Hoseok swallows heavily, moving over to the counter. “Taehyung, that was in my private things.”

“It was in the living room,” Taehyung counters, but he has the decency to look a little guilty. “It wasn’t even locked up or anything.”

The file is still closed, but he spots the dawning comprehension on Yoongi’s face. “Is that the file from…?”

“Yes,” Hoseok says. “I…borrowed it.” With no intention of returning it, he thinks.

Yoongi shifts his gaze to Taehyung. “What is it?”

Taehyung’s silent, breathing a little erratically, but Hoseok doesn’t know what to say. He kept the file in his desk, still unsure of exactly what he meant to do with it. All he knew was that he couldn’t let it stay at the hospital. He couldn’t let it fall into someone else’s hands.

Taehyung moves then, in Hoseok’s inaction, flipping the file open. Inside, papers are stacked messily, and there’s a picture attached to the front cover with a paper clip. Taehyung detaches the picture, and slides it across the counter to Yoongi.

And then Yoongi sucks in a sharp breath, and Hoseok knows exactly what he’s seeing.

Jungkook, at maybe twelve or thirteen. Jungkook, with hair cut so short it looks bald in some spots. His face is thin, gaunt, hollowed. His golden eyes peer out of the picture like two glowing gemstones, but his expression is deadened, dulled, like happiness is an emotion that is completely foreign to him.

Yoongi lays the picture down flat on the counter. “Hoseok,” he says slowly. “What the fuck is this?”

“That’s what I want to know,” Taehyung jumps in. He still looks frazzled, a muscle in his jaw jumping, and Hoseok has no idea why.

“I found it,” Hoseok explains, a little bit meek because both Taehyung and Yoongi are watching him. “I’m on rotation at the psychiatric hospital for alpha pups,” he explains to Taehyung. “And they’re still in the process of moving over all of their hard files to soft copies. I just…I got lucky. I found Jungkook’s file in one of the boxes. I can’t believe…I mean, he never talked about…this.”

“When Namjoon found him,” Yoongi says. “Jungkook was packless. He was living in the streets.”

“Yes,” Hoseok nods. “It’s in there. He ran away from the hospital.”

Yoongi’s eyes flicker. “Did you read the whole thing?”

Hoseok can’t decipher the tone of his voice, but it makes him even more meek. “Yes.”

Yoongi doesn’t look impressed. “This is private.”

“I know,” Hoseok whispers. “It’s just…I had to know if there was something else going on. If there was something else Jungkook needed help with, something he couldn’t talk about.”

“And?” Yoongi asks. “Did you find something?”

Hoseok shakes his head. “No. He was…he was put in there for a lot of reasons, but mostly it was because he didn’t have a pack or a family,” Hoseok feels a little sick. “He should have been taken in by the Alpha Centre, to find him a pack, but instead he was put into the institution because the doctors said so. Because he’d been poisoned with wolfsbane. Since he was alone, he fell through the cracks. He didn’t have anyone to stand up for him.”

It’s silent for a moment, and then Taehyung falls into one of the chairs. “It must have been after we found him,” he says quietly. “Jimin’s appa brought him to the hospital.”

“You couldn’t have known,” Hoseok says. “I mean, normally, they would have found Jungkook’s pack or family so that they could proceed with medical care. But Jungkook was abandoned by his pack, and he didn’t have any family either. He became a ward of the Territory.”

Taehyung licks his lips. His voice is weak when he finally speaks; small, cracking, like he’s testing the words. “But…I’m his family.”

Hoseok’s lips part, but he doesn’t know what to say. Yoongi is quiet too.

“I mean,” Taehyung says, glancing between the two alphas. “Do you think…if I’d recognized him back then…do you think things would be different?”

He’s obviously hoping for an answer that Hoseok’s not sure he can give. “I don’t know.”

Taehyung looks downtrodden. “I didn’t know it was him, back then,” he says, quicker now. “I didn’t recognize him.”

“Did you read this file too?” Yoongi interrupts, and Taehyung lifts his head again.

“Yeah,” he admits, and Yoongi looks disapproving.

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“I was curious,” Taehyung confesses. “I saw his name, and I just…I thought that maybe there was something in there that would prove my point.”

“And?” Yoongi asks, raising an eyebrow. “Was there?”

Taehyung swallows. “No,” he whispers. “Actually, a lot of that stuff – what’s in there – it doesn’t seem right. Like, it kind of seems…sick. Who would do that to a pup?”

And now Yoongi furrows his eyebrows together, not understanding, but Hoseok gets what Taehyung means. His stomach had turned over the first time he’d read through the file. “He was a ward of the Territory,” Hoseok repeats. “No one was there to stop them for doing what they did. It explains a lot though.”

Yoongi’s fingers tap on the file, evidently more curious now. “Like what?”

“Well,” Hoseok says. “His scent, for one.”

Yoongi tilts his head in question. “What do you mean?”

Hoseok looks towards Taehyung. “Taehyung-ah, what does Jungkook smell like?”

Taehyung frowns, confused. “The forest,” he says. “Sometimes it’s a little bit faint, but yeah. He smells like a forest.”

“Only a forest?” Hoseok asks.

Taehyung blinks. “Uh, yeah? Why?”

And then Hoseok turns to Yoongi, who’s also frowning. “Hyung, what does Jungkookie smell like?”

“The forest,” Yoongi says slowly. “But he also smells like coffee. It’s mostly the forest, but there’s coffee blended in. Taehyung-ah, you don’t smell it?”

“No,” Hoseok says, before Taehyung can answer. “I can’t either. To me, Jungkookie smells like the forest, mixed in with the faint scent of vanilla.”

Yoongi pauses. “But that’s…”

“My scent?” Hoseok finishes. “Yeah, it is. Just like how the coffee scent is yours. And Namjoonie would smell sandalwood in his scent.”

“But…why?”

Hoseok exhales. “It’s rare,” he tells them. “But usually we see it with pups who’ve been neglected or abandoned. They have their own scents, but they also take on the scent of their primary caregiver after they’ve been removed from their pack. It’s an instinctive thing, primal. Jungkook wouldn’t have any control of it, and I doubt he even knows that his scent has changed for each of us. But these pups, their scents change because if their scent is familiar to you, if they smell like you, then you’re less likely to leave them. To abandon them. The pups smell too much like home for your wolf to ever feel comfortable leaving behind.”

The room descends into silence, when Hoseok stops speaking. Yoongi’s looking away, jaw tight, expression hardened, and Taehyung’s glancing at the file, like he’s not sure whether he should look into it again.

“I know I should give it back to him,” Hoseok continues, and Yoongi’s eyes flicker back up. “I was always planning on giving this to Jungkook.” His fingers tap against the file. “I just wasn’t sure how. I mean, what if he got scared that we knew about this, and ran again? I couldn’t be sure, so I just…I kept it.”

Yoongi sighs. “I get that, Hoseok, but still. This belongs to Jungkook. Either you give it to him, or you destroy it.”

“Destroy it?” Taehyung asks, startled, and Hoseok startles too. It’s not something he’d like to explain, why information about Jungkook needed to be wiped. Namjoon had already done most of the work, removing Jungkook from the alpha database. There was no record of Jungkook in the orphanage system either. The Alpha Guard was a bit of a different story, but they’d all thought Namjoon would be Head Alpha by the time Jungkook rose to any kind of prominent position.

“We can’t return it,” Yoongi says, a white lie that sounds convincing enough. “Hoseok went through too much trouble to steal it. What if he got caught bringing it back?”

Taehyung frowns. “But…his drawings,” he turns his gaze to Hoseok. “The letter.”

Hoseok flips the file open again, shuffling around for the stack of drawings and the one letter that’s filled with crease marks, setting both out for Yoongi to see. “I think he’d at least like these back too,” Hoseok says quietly. And then he turns back to Taehyung. “That was really nice of you, Taehyung-ah.”

The beta looks slightly uncomfortable, shrugging his shoulders. “I just thought that if I was him, I’d want these things back.”

“So then we tell him?” Yoongi asks, looking up from the drawings. The page is open to a picture of a much younger-looking Jimin. “He’s going to know if we give these things to him anyway.”

“We’ll tell him,” Hoseok agrees. “But we wait until it’s the right time. He’s dealt with a lot recently.” He can’t help but look over at Taehyung, and the beta looks a little ashamed.

“I kind of feel like I’m one more knife in his back,” Taehyung says weakly, slumped in his seat. “It’s not a good feeling.”

Yoongi tilts his head. “So what are you going to do about it?”

Taehyung looks up, meeting both of their eyes. “We’re brothers, Jungkook and I,” he says. “I’ve been thinking about what that means; what I want it to mean.” He hesitates, and then goes on. “It’s a second chance for me. A second chance at having a family.”

☾

In the week that passes between Taehyung’s revelation in Hoseok’s apartment and the second, no less impactful revelation he faces in Namjoon’s house, Jungkook’s seemingly moved into Jimin’s loft. He spends all of his free time there, sleeping over at Jimin’s every night for a week, waking up to two cups of coffee, an extra toothbrush at the sink, and a cleared out night table on the left side of the bed.

He can’t help it; the freedom he experiences in Jimin’s apartment is unlike anything he’s ever had before. Jimin feels so safe to him that Jungkook slowly starts to peel away the pieces of his armour, of the towering walls he’s spent years putting up and reinforcing. His laughs are looser, his smiles come easier. Jimin likes to play and Jungkook learns how to do that too; wrestling, piggyback rides, pillow fights, Jimin shoving his cold hands underneath Jungkook’s shirt to warm them against his skin, Jungkook putting Jimin’s favourite snacks on the highest shelf so that he can tease Jimin when the omega can’t reach.

It’s all so meaningless but so meaningful at the same time. And Jungkook realizes that opening himself up to Jimin also means that Jimin gets to live inside him too.

He picks Jimin up from work when he can, from the studio where he’s practicing his traditional dance routine for the summer festival, and they go grocery shopping together – Jimin grabbing things off of shelves and tossing them back into the cart that Jungkook pushes just behind the omega. That’s how Jungkook discovers that when Jimin said he can’t cook he really meant it, the vast majority of his meals either ordered out or pre-made.

“Jungkook, you really don’t have to,” Jimin tells him, trailing behind the alpha and pushing the cart as Jungkook leads him through the produce, bagging as he goes.

“I want to, angel,” Jungkook tells him, and he glances back to catch the faint pink flush on Jimin’s cheekbones at the endearment. Now that Jimin knows, Jungkook’s dropped all pretenses of denying himself from calling Jimin how he sees him – angel. “Besides, I like cooking.”

“Well, okay,” Jimin finally agrees, looking between the cart and Jungkook. “But isn’t this too much? I mean, how can I finish this all?”

And Jungkook freezes, two red peppers in either hand. He’d thought…he’d just assumed, since he’d spent the week at Jimin’s apartment…

“Uh,” Jungkook says, dropping the peppers and turning back to the cart. “You’re right, it is too much for you.”

Jimin blinks, and then he seems to catch on, and he bursts into giggles. “Jungkook, you bought it for both of us, huh?”

Embarrassment makes his ears feel hot, and he reaches into the cart to pull out the extra produce, but Jimin’s hand grabs hold of his. “No, don’t,” the omega says, still giggling. “Kkyu, you should have just said that you wanted to stay.”

Kkyu, Jungkook thinks. It’s another change, after Jungkook had started calling Jimin angel all the time. Jimin had turned to him and said, I want something that’s just mine, for you.

“I know you like being on your own, sometimes,” Jimin continues, oblivious to the way Jungkook’s heart is melting. “I thought maybe you felt like you had to stay, because I wanted you to.”

Jungkook’s quiet for a moment, hand still tightly held in Jimin’s, and then his gaze flickers up to meet Jimin’s eyes from beneath his lashes. “Angel, I want to stay.”

And Jimin flushes again, but a wide smile breaks across his lips. “Okay,” he agrees, much softer now.

“Okay,” Jungkook says back, and then Jimin lets go of his hand and Jungkook turns back to the peppers.

Back in Jimin’s apartment, once they’ve put the groceries away and Jungkook’s made them dinner, Jimin tries to push him out of the kitchen with two wet hands on his chest that leave handprints on Jungkook’s white shirt. “I’m doing the dishes,” Jimin protests, pushing against the immovable wall that is Jungkook. “You made dinner, it’s only fair.”

“I don’t mind helping,” Jungkook tells him, and he can’t help but laugh at the put-out expression on Jimin’s face. Really, Jungkook doesn’t mind, and it’s not really even about the dishes. Jungkook’s never liked being alone, and the comfort he felt just by being in the same space as Jimin was irreplaceable.

“I’m not budging on this,” Jimin warns, holding the sponge up like a weapon and looking as threatening as a baby chick. Laughter rumbles in Jungkook’s chest. “I’m serious Kkyu!” And then he reaches into the soapy water with his other hand, flicking some of the water at Jungkook.

Jungkook pauses, surprised, and then immediately retaliates, dunking his hands into the sink and spraying water towards Jimin who squeals and tries to grip onto Jungkook’s arms to stop him. The omega reaches back into the sink, splashing more water at Jungkook and then they’re in a full out water fight, wrestling each other for control of the sink.

It only ends when Jimin slips on the floor made wet by their fight, feet sliding out from under him. But Jungkook’s quick to catch him and pulls the omega tight to his chest.

It reminds him of the first time Jimin had kissed him, but now they are so much deeper into their relationship and he doesn’t hesitate to steal one, tilting Jimin’s face up with a thumb pressing just under the omega’s chin. Jimin is decidedly more flushed afterwards, and Jungkook grins.

“You’re welcome,” he says cheekily, and then Jimin takes the wet sponge and presses it right up against his face.

Jungkook sputters, letting go of Jimin as the omega bursts into peals of laughter. “Serves you right,” Jimin says smugly, tugging at his wet shirt and making a face. “It’s still so hot,” he complains then, even though the fans are turned on and Jungkook went around to open all of the windows to let in any breeze there was.

And then Jimin reaches down to pull off his shirt, and Jungkook’s brain short-circuits.

“It’s not like I need one anyway,” Jimin murmurs, tossing the wet shirt into the laundry room. “Jungkookie, want me to hang your shirt to dry?” He glances back at Jungkook over his shoulder, when the alpha doesn’t respond, and catches Jungkook’s gaze lingering on the smooth slope of his back, the soft curve of his waist and hips towards his plush behind, and- “Kkyu?”

Jungkook snaps his gaze up, flustered, even more so by the way Jimin’s lips soften into a pout at the nickname.

“Uh, what?”

Jimin turns to face him completely, and Jungkook thinks don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look down with each step Jimin takes towards him. But he can’t help it; his eyes dip down to a flat abdomen, to the curve of Jimin’s hips that lead down, down, down, and then he snaps his gaze up again as Jimin saunters over, a confident tilt to his lips.

“I said,” Jimin repeats, breathier, his cinnamon and sugar scent clouding Jungkook’s senses. “You should take off your shirt, Kkyu.” And then Jimin’s right in front of him, pouty-lipped and eyelashes fluttering when Jungkook’s woodsy scent surges in interest. Jimin reaches for the hem of Jungkook’s shirt, fingertips grazing Jungkook’s skin, and then Jungkook’s hands snap down to take hold of Jimin’s smaller ones.

Jimin blinks, caught off guard. “What is it?”

“I-” Jungkook’s voice catches. He doesn’t know what’s wrong, suddenly.

But then Jimin’s voice softens. “What’s wrong, Jungkookie? Did I make you uncomfortable? You can tell me.”

“No, not uncomfortable,” Jungkook reassures him. It’s just confusing, and he can’t figure out what he’s feeling, why he’d jumped when Jimin had moved to take off his shirt. It doesn’t make any sense, because Jimin’s already seen him without his shirt on, many years ago.

Jimin’s hands release their grip, and he’s smiling up at Jungkook, and he says, “Do you want me to get you a shirt to change into?”

No, Jungkook thinks; he wants to explain it. “My…scars,” he says, and Jimin’s expression shifts to one of confusion.

“Huh?”

Jungkook swallows. “I have…scars,” he says again. “They’re not – I just don’t want to freak you out.”

“I…I know you do,” Jimin says slowly.  “I’ve seen them before.”

“Yeah, but that was a long time ago,” Jungkook counters, and he doesn’t know why he’s putting up a fight. “Maybe you forgot how ugly they are.”

“Ugly?” Jimin repeats, disbelief bubbling in his voice. “Kkyu, they’re a part of you. How could that ever be ugly?”

“I don’t know,” Jungkook says. “I just haven’t shown a lot of people, I guess. I don’t know what to expect.”

Jimin’s silent for a moment. “You really don’t like surprises, huh?”

Jungkook blinks. “Huh?”

Jimin shakes his head. “Never mind. I was just thinking…never mind. But Jungkook?” Jimin peers up at him, gaze serious. “I want to use one of my questions now. You know, the ones you said you’d be honest about?”

Jungkook’s tongue darts out to swipe at his bottom lip, nervous suddenly. “Yeah, I remember.”

“So,” Jimin starts. “Tell me the truth. Do you want to show me your scars?”

Jungkook hesitates, looking down at the open expression on Jimin’s face, all the warm skin bared to his eyes, and then nods quickly, one time. “Yeah.” It’s like once he got passed the initial hurdle of showing himself to Jimin, all he wants is to show the omega more and more of himself. He craves that easy acceptance more than anything.

“Okay,” Jimin breathes, looking a little surprised but very happy. “Shirt off, Kkyu.”

And Jungkook reaches for the hem of his shirt before he can second-guess himself, pulling it off and balling it up in one hand. Jimin’s silent for a moment, and then-

“Oh wow.”

Jungkook watches Jimin’s eyes roam over Jungkook’s solid build, toned muscles and golden skin, and Jimin’s cheeks flush pink as his draws his bottom lip into his mouth. “All that Alpha Guard training, huh?” Jimin asks, breathless, and Jungkook feels something hot stirring in his gut.

And then Jimin’s eyes dip down to the ugly mess of black scars on Jungkook’s left side, extending outwards like forks of lightning. The first brush of his fingertips makes Jungkook inhale sharply, but he doesn’t push Jimin away.

“And that’s where…”

Jungkook nods. “Yeah.” He doesn’t elaborate; it’s not a story he wants to tell, not right now.

Jimin’s fingers follow the black lines, up and back down again. “It hasn’t changed at all,” he says. “From the last time I saw it.”

“It’ll stay like this forever,” Jungkook tells him. “That’s how wolfsbane works.”

And Jimin’s eyebrows suddenly draw together, anger flaring in his eyes. “It’s not fair,” he murmurs, looking back up at Jungkook.

“Uh, what?”

“It’s not fair that you should have to carry a scar like this around for your whole life,” Jimin tells him. “To always be reminded of…of what happened.”

But Jungkook finally smiles, a slow grin uncurling across his lips. “I don’t think of it like that, angel.”

Jimin blinks. “You don’t?”

Jungkook shakes his head, still smiling. His hand comes up to catch Jimin’s, pressing their two hands against the black scars. “I met you the same day I got this. That’s what I think, when I look at these scars. I found you.”

Jimin’s lips drop open, and then a pink blush blooms across his cheeks. “W-what?”

And Jungkook can’t help but laugh, maybe a little too buoyed by the relief he feels at showing Jimin his scars, at the unwavering acceptance he’s met with.

Jimin hits Jungkook’s shoulder with his other hand. “That’s not fair, Kkyu! You can’t say something like that, and not expect me to…to…”

“To what?” Jungkook asks, and then he squawks when Jimin digs his fingers into Jungkook’s sides and then they’re wrestling again, Jimin going for Jungkook’s unprotected sides and Jungkook trying to wiggle out of his grasp.

He finally breaks out of Jimin’s searching fingers and ducks down, wrapping two arms around Jimin’s waist and hoisting the omega up and over his shoulder.

“Jungkook!” Jimin squeals, two hands flailing before he grips onto Jungkook’s hips. “Don’t drop me!”

Jungkook snorts. “Like I’d ever do something like that.”

“You better not fart either,” Jimin warns, but he settles comfortably in Jungkook’s hold, giggling as Jungkook carries him out of the kitchen and over to the bedroom so that he can flip Jimin onto his back and crawl back on top of him, pinning the omega down.

“I win.”

Jimin huffs, testing Jungkook’s hold on either wrist, before going lax in his grip. “I guess you do,” Jimin says, much quieter now, eyelashes lowered and his plump lips pulling down into a tiny pout. And Jungkook feels something lurch in his chest.

“Angel?”

“I guess I thought you might go a little easier on me, since I’m an omega Kkyu,” Jimin says, voice even tinier, and Jungkook release his hold on Jimin’s wrists so that he can push himself up a little bit and-

And he’s on his back, Jimin straddling his waist and holding his wrists down in two hands. “Ha!” Jimin says, grinning broadly as he looks down at Jungkook. “I win!”

Jungkook laughs in disbelief, but he feels something deep within himself settle at the look of satisfaction on Jimin’s face, at the reassuring weight of Jimin sitting astride him, at the scent of cinnamon and sugar as Jimin leans forward to drop a sweet kiss to his lips.

And then Jimin sits up again, releasing Jungkook’s hands but not bothering to move off of the alpha. He pauses, before his fingertips return to Jungkook’s black scars. He looks like he’s deep in thought, and Jungkook’s about to ask him about it, but then Jimin moves, shuffling backwards a little bit. He leans forward again, and Jungkook watches as he presses a kiss to the wolfsbane scar.

Jungkook freezes. “Angel…?”

Jimin sits up again, tilting his head at Jungkook’s wide-eyed look. “Was that okay? Or was it too much?”

Jungkook shakes his head, letting the tension drain out of him. “It’s fine, but…why are you…?”

“It’s part of you,” Jimin says quietly. “It’s how we met. I want it to mean that over anything else. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“You’re fine Jimin,” Jungkook says. The last thing he feels is uncomfortable. There’s a heat curling in his gut, the same heat that’s been burning ever since Jimin pulled off his shirt and revealed lines of smooth skin for Jungkook’s eyes.

Jimin studies him, for a moment, and then something shifts in his gaze. His eyelashes flutter a little bit, his lips parting, and Jungkook thinks maybe Jimin can smell Jungkook’s heated interest too. The cinnamon and sugar scent sweetens in the air, and Jungkook’s pants grow tighter.

“Kkyu,” Jimin says then, voice breathless and airy. “I want to…I want to touch you.” His tongue darts out between his parted lips, swiping at his bottom lip. “I want you.”

Jungkook’s hand tightens its grip on Jimin’s thigh. He wants that too, except-

“I’ve…I’ve never done it before.”

Jimin blinks. “What…sex?”

Jungkook can’t meet his gaze. “Yeah.”

It’s quiet, for a moment, and then Jimin lets out a soft breath, moving up and off of Jungkook. The alpha feels a bolt of panic shoot through him, but Jimin reaches over to cup his jaw, smiling a little bit. “I’m not going anywhere, Kkyu. I just want to talk about this for a second, without getting distracted.”

Jungkook pushes himself up to sitting, and the air still hangs heavy with Jimin’s sweet scent.

“You haven’t had sex,” Jimin hums, voice soft and free of judgment. “Is it something you’re not interested in?”

“Uh,” Jungkook says. “No, like. I’m definitely interested. With you? Yeah, I want…yeah.” His answer feels stupid, coming out of his mouth, but Jimin doesn’t laugh.

“With me?” Jimin repeats. “So you’ve never thought about it…with anyone else?”

“Well, like,” Jungkook rubs the back of his head. He thinks this is definitely one of the conversations where he needs to be honest with Jimin. “I’m kind of fucked up, when it comes to making relationships with other people. There’s no one I’ve ever trusted enough to be in that kind of position. I can’t do it casually. I can’t…I can’t be vulnerable like that, with just anyone.”

“Oh,” Jimin says softly, and then he leans forward to press another kiss to Jungkook’s lips, before pulling back. “Well, I have,” Jimin says. “Slept with people, I mean. Does that bother you?”

Jungkook blinks, confused. “No…?” He pauses. “Should it?”

Jimin laughs, shaking his head. “No,” he says warmly. “It’s only me and you here.” He reaches for Jungkook’s hand, lifting it up and pressing a kiss to Jungkook’s knuckles. “I mean, I think I can make it special for you, for us.”

“Special?” Jungkook repeats. His hands itch to get a grip on Jimin again, to pull the omega in closer. “What do you mean?”

Jimin bites his bottom lip. “I want to make you feel really good, Kkyu.” He’s blushing as he says it, and Jungkook finally reaches for him, pulling Jimin to his chest and kissing him, licking into Jimin’s mouth to taste cinnamon and sugar on his tongue. Jimin’s skin is warm against his, and his hands grip at Jungkook’s shoulders.

“Wait, Kkyu, wait,” Jimin pulls back a little bit, a soft moan escaping his throat when Jungkook ducks down to graze his teeth down the column of Jimin’s neck. “Before we go any further, Jungkookie, I want to talk to you. Can you focus on me for a second?”

Jungkook lifts his head, but he doesn’t let go of Jimin. “Yeah angel, what is it?”

Jimin’s hand cups the back of his neck, fingers gripping the hair at the base of his skull. “I want to make you feel good,” Jimin says again, a little breathier this time, and Jungkook’s fingers flex in their grip on Jimin’s hips. “So you…you have to tell me if I’m doing something you don’t like, okay? I’m serious Kkyu.”

Jungkook pulls back a little further, lips still wet from pressing kisses down Jimin’s throat. He furrows his eyebrows together, confused. “But…I trust you.”

“I know,” Jimin says, a soft smile curling at the corners of his mouth. His eyes disappear into tiny crescents with how big he’s smiling. “I know, and I’m so happy that you do. But you’ve never done this before, and new things can be exhilarating, but they can also be a little bit scary. I don’t want you to think being uncomfortable is normal, because it’s not. So tell me what you like, and tell me what you don’t like. Then it’ll be really good for both of us.”

Jungkook thinks about it, hands still gripping at Jimin’s hips, and then he thinks Jimin seems to know him better than he knows himself. Would Jungkook go along with whatever Jimin wanted even if he was slightly uncomfortable? Maybe. Probably. Jungkook liked making Jimin happy. But then he thinks that Jimin’s probably happiest when Jungkook’s being honest.

“Well, what about you?”

Jimin blinks. “What?”

“What do you like?” Jungkook asks. “What would make you happy?”

A healthy flush adorns Jimin’s cheeks, and his mouth opens and closes a few times. “I-I don’t-”

Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “Hmm?”

Jimin swallows. “Well there are things I don’t like,” he offers. “I don’t like being talked down to. I don’t like it when people degrade me.”

It isn’t what Jungkook asked. “Why would I do that?”

“Some people like it,” Jimin says quietly, and then Jungkook picks out what he’s not saying.

“You like being praised, huh?” he asks, and Jimin’s gaze snaps up, his cheeks flushing a deeper red now.

“There’s something else I like even more than that,” Jimin tells him, not answering Jungkook’s question but not denying it either.

“What’s that?”

Jimin smiles. “Touching you.” His other hand comes up to tuck some loose hair behind Jungkook’s ear, his thumb brushing Jungkook’s cheek. “I like that you let me.”

Jungkook tilts his head; he doesn’t get it. “You’re always allowed to touch me.”

Jimin smiles again, a little softer. “Want to know a secret?”

“What?”

Jimin shifts, moving to sling his leg over Jungkook’s hips again and sit in his lap. Jungkook shifts only to lean back against the headboard, his two hands finding a home on Jimin’s thighs again. “You barely let anyone touch you, ever. You don’t like it, huh?”

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows, watches as Jimin’s fingers trail over the muscles of his chest, down his flat abdomen, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Heat pools in his gut again, the embers never really having died down.  “Really?”

“If you initiate contact, then you’re okay with touching more people,” Jimin amends. His fingers have found their way to the waistband of Jungkook’s shorts, but he doesn’t pull them down, not yet. Everything he does is slow, relaxed, giving Jungkook all the time in the world to submit to his hands. “But the people who get to touch you? I could probably count them on one hand.”

Jungkook looks up at him, at Jimin perched in his lap, at his messy hair and fluttering eyelashes. “Really? That’s weird, isn’t it?”

“No,” Jimin says, laughter smooth in his voice. “It’s a part of you. But,” now Jimin flushes again, and Jungkook watches as it spreads down his throat to his chest. “You’ve never been bothered when I touch you.”

“Well, yeah,” Jungkook says, still confused, still watching the flush work its way across Jimin’s chest. “I like it when you touch me. I like being close to you. It’s reassuring.”

Jimin’s lips part. “Kkyu,” he breathes, and then he pushes forward to kiss Jungkook, maybe a little desperately, a little messily. Jimin pulls back, and says, “I want to try something now.” His breathing is heavier, puffs of air escaping between his parted lips, puffy and wet from their kiss. “I want to…I want taste you. Can I?”

Electricity shoots through Jungkook when he understands what Jimin wants, when he watches how Jimin’s tongue peeks out between his lips, pink and wet. “Yeah,” he croaks, voice a deep rumble in his chest.

Even if he’s never had sex, Jungkook thinks he knows what to expect. He’s watched porn. He’s spent years traveling across the Territory with the other Alpha Guard trainees; he’s heard all about their exploits. So he thinks Jimin’s hands will jump straight to the waistband of his shorts, just like they did before.

Instead, Jimin kisses him again, slow and languid, teeth scraping Jungkook’s bottom lip and a small hand coming up to grip Jungkook’s jaw. Jungkook’s hands settle on Jimin’s lower back and he finds himself relaxing into it, into the press of Jimin’s lips, into the weight of the omega hovering just above him. They kiss for so long that Jungkook starts to think this is what Jimin had meant when he said I want to taste you.

But then Jimin moves, eyes glazed and lips puffy, trailing down Jungkook’s neck to his scent gland, teeth nipping and leaving a trail of red marks in their path. “Fuck, Jimin,” Jungkook groans, when Jimin’s scent spikes and his hips stutter, brushing the hardness of Jimin’s cock against Jungkook’s.

“Kkyu,” Jimin whimpers, pressing kisses to Jungkook’s scent gland, and Jungkook shivers when he feels the barest brush of Jimin’s teeth, molten lava shooting through his veins. “Kkyu, how are you feeling?”

Jimin’s voice is airy, breathless, and Jungkook knows what he wants. His hands move down from Jimin’s lower back to slide over the curve of his ass, gripping at the plush roundness. “Good angel,” he breathes, and Jimin pushes himself up a little bit to meet his gaze. “You’re doing perfect. You always make me feel so good.”

Jimin’s flushed pink, happy, and he shuffles backward so that he can duck down again, fingers mapping out Jungkook’s muscled chest and pressing kisses just behind. He presses another kiss to Jungkook’s scars, and then a final one just below Jungkook’s belly button, before looking back up again, hands reaching up to grasp the waistband of Jungkook’s shorts. “Okay?”

Jungkook nods, reaching down to help Jimin slide his shorts off, and then Jimin’s hands come up to map his cock too, mouth following behind, wet and messy and dripping saliva from between his pink pillowy lips.

“Fuck, angel,” he moans, one hand reaching down to grasp Jimin’s hair, and Jimin hums in response. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

It’s so wet and it’s so warm, and the sight of Jimin sucking him off is so erotic that Jungkook doesn’t think he’ll last long. Jimin knows what he’s doing, one hand gripping the base of Jungkook’s cock, pumping, tonguing at the tip before he exhales and swallows Jungkook deeper. Everything feels so good, and Jungkook feels something tighten in his gut, hot and hard, and he reaches down with both hands, tugging on Jimin until the omega gets the hint and pulls off. “Kkyu?”

He looks stunning, and Jungkook’s jaw drops open a little bit at the sight of him. Pink-cheeked and wide-eyed, lips shiny with spit, hair a mess from Jungkook’s fingers. “Come here.”

He pulls Jimin up to his chest, rolling them so that he can hover over the omega, reaching down to push Jimin’s shorts down and out of the way. “Fuck, you look so beautiful angel.”

Jimin flushes, wiggling on the bed to kick his shorts off. “Yeah?”

“The most beautiful,” Jungkook promises, licking the palm of his hand before he reaches down for Jimin’s cock, pumping once, twice, watching as Jimin’s eyelashes flutter, at how he throws his head back to reveal the smooth lines of his throat.

Jungkook leans forward, pressing kisses to the underside of Jimin’s jaw. “So, so beautiful. Made me feel so good. Angel, Jimin.”

“Jungkook, more,” Jimin whimpers. “Faster.”

He slides his own cock up against Jimin’s, getting a grip on both, and then Jimin lets out a high pitch whine, shuddering at the friction. “More, more,” he says, and Jungkook pumps faster, heat curling in his gut at Jimin’s soft moans in his ears, and he feels something tighten, like an elastic just before it snaps, and then he finds release, shooting all over Jimin’s stomach.

Jimin’s watching him, breathless and panting, the blacks of his eyes nearly eclipsing his soft brown irises, and with one last hitching breath he’s undone, cock twitching in Jungkook’s grip, one hand tangled in Jungkook’s hair.

Jungkook rolls over onto his back, next to Jimin, feels sweat beading on his chest and on the back of his neck. The fan hums lazily above them, a slight breeze ruffling his hair and, “Wow,” Jungkook says. It was better than anything he’d ever imagined, any dream he’d ever had, any porn he’d ever watched.

Jimin bursts into giggles. “That good, huh?” He pushes himself up onto his elbows, reaching over for a tissue to clean off his stomach, before he flops back down on the bed.

“We can do that again, right?” Jungkook asks, and Jimin laughs again.

“We can do all sorts of things together,” Jimin tells him, fanning his face with one hand. “Just not when it’s this hot. I think I got a heat stroke just from a hand job.”

Jungkook chuckles, sitting up and pulling Jimin along with him. “Come on, shower time,” he says, and they take a cool one, to wash off the sweat and to try to cool down a little bit. Afterwards, they sit out on the fire escape with two beers between them, Jimin in a loose tank top and Jungkook shirtless.

“How is the investigation going?” Jimin asks, fingers picking at the label on the beer bottle. “I still can’t believe you and Tae are brothers.”

Jungkook shrugs. “I know. I don’t know how he feels about it, but…to have a brother…” he trails off, not sure how to say it. “I hope I can bring him some relief with the investigation. Yejun still thinks we should only focus on the leaders.”

“But you don’t agree?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “The soldiers are how these people get to spread their hatred. It’s just as important to eliminate the entire hive.”

“So you’re going to try to find whoever did this to Taehyung,” Jimin summarizes. He takes another sip of his beer, and then sets the bottle aside. “Then I think it’s important that I give you something.” He wiggles his fingers into his pocket, and pulls something out, something clutched in his closed fist.

“What is it?” Jungkook asks, and Jimin uncurls his fist. Sitting in the palm of his hand is the ring, the one Jimin had made him, the one Jungkook had left behind.

Jungkook feels his heart stop. And then he reaches out with one hand, but Jimin’s fingers close around Jungkook’s, like a mirror image of the first time Jimin had shown him the ring.

“Out of everything,” Jimin says quietly. “When I saw this sitting on the table, that hurt me the most.”

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook tells him, but Jimin shakes his head.

“I’ve already forgiven you,” Jimin says. “So you don’t have to apologize. I just wanted you to know how important this ring was to me, is to me.” He lets go of Jungkook’s fingers. “Give me your chain.”

Jungkook reaches to unclasp it from around his neck, and hands it over to Jimin. He watches the omega string the ring onto the chain before he speaks again. “If you wear this,” Jimin says. “Then I could always find you, wherever you go.” Jimin is very quiet, and then he looks up at Jungkook. “No matter how far you got, I could always come after you.”

“I won’t take it off,” Jungkook promises, and Jimin gets up onto his knees so that he can wrap his arms up over Jungkook’s shoulders to clasp the chain once again around the alpha’s neck. When he moves back, he doesn’t go far, staying up on his knees and cupping Jungkook’s face.

“There’s something else,” he continues, smiling down at Jungkook. “Something else about that letter you left me.”

Jungkook blinks. “Yeah?”

“You said you didn’t know if I loved you, or if you only imagined it,” Jimin says. He presses a kiss to the tip of Jungkook’s nose. “Of course I love you, silly. I’ve loved you since you first called me angel.”

☽

Namjoon comes home late three days in a row, after Seokjin’s already gone to bed, so on the fourth night he waits for the alpha, sitting cross-legged on his king bed, reading a novel, with the bedside lamp turned on and lighting up the room in a faint yellow glow.

Namjoon visibly startles at the sight of Seokjin seated on his bed, pausing in the threshold of the doorway with his shirt half-unbuttoned. Seokjin’s eyes dip down to what he can see of the bared chest, of the golden skin, before his gaze flickers back up. Namjoon moves into the room.

“It’s late, hyung,” Namjoon says, voice gravely from the lateness of the hour. It is nearly one in the morning.

“I know,” Seokjin says, primly as ever, nothing in his outward appearance betraying how tired he really feels. He’d nearly nodded off a few times, because Namjoon’s bed was so comfortable and also because it smelled so much like the alpha. “You’ve been coming home late these days.”

He wants to know where Namjoon’s been, but he’s too insecure to ask.

A ghost of a smile appears on Namjoon’s lips as he finishes unbuttoning his shirt and tosses it into a hamper. “Did you miss me?”

Yes, Seokjin thinks. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” He’s glad, actually, that he’s had three days to think about it. Now he realizes he was probably over-reacting, both in regard to Dongmin and to who he’d seen at the Palace. But he knows he needs to tell Namjoon anyway, because Namjoon was going to be his Pack Alpha.

“Oh,” Namjoon blinks, and then he drags the armchair by the window over so that he can take a seat, still shirtless, giving Seokjin his full attention. “What is it, hyung?”

Seokjin clears his throat, fights the flush that threatens to break out across his cheeks. “It’s something that happened at the Palace. Something I need a Pack Alpha for.”

“Okay,” Namjoon agrees easily. “What happened?”

“There’s an alpha from the University who won’t leave me alone,” Seokjin tells him. “I’ve turned him down a few times, but he won’t take a hint. Jiminie said I should talk to you about it, because he might listen to you more than me.” But Namjoon is silent, and Seokjin finds himself unsure. “Um, I’m sorry to bother you with this. I can-”

“It’s no bother,” Namjoon interrupts, voice very soft. Nothing about his outward appearance has changed, but his scent has grown stronger, and Seokjin relaxes into it. “I’m glad you told me. Let me deal with it, hyung.”

“Okay,” Seokjin says. Namjoon’s still watching him, and Seokjin fights the urge to squirm.

“I know you deal with a lot of alpha shit on your own,” Namjoon says, finally. He sounds thoughtful, and he’s speaking slowly, like he’s trying to pick the right words. “I get the feeling that in your birth pack, alphas would have never protected you. But our pack is different, hyung. I want to be an alpha that you can trust, okay? You can always tell me things like this, and don’t ever be worried that you’re bothering me, because you’re not.”

Seokjin stares at him, lips parted, surprised. “Alright,” he says, and then Namjoon shuffles back, like he’s going to get up, and Seokjin shoots his hand out to grip the alpha’s wrist.

Namjoon glances back over. “Was there something else?”

Seokjin nods, finds himself suddenly at a loss for words. “At the Palace,” he swallows heavily. “I saw…at the Palace, I saw Jungkook’s umma.”

Shock causes Namjoon’s expression to freeze, and then a look of deep alarm spreads across his features. “What?”

Seokjin’s fingers tighten around Namjoon’s wrist. “I swear to you, Namjoon, I saw her. I don’t know what she’s doing at the Palace, but she’s living there now. She didn’t see me, but…I don’t know what to do. Do I tell Jungkook? Do I talk to his umma?”

Namjoon still looks stunned. “His umma is alive?”

Now Seokjin is surprised. “…yes?”

Namjoon shakes his head. “Sorry, I just…I’d always assumed both his parents had been killed. Why did he never try to find her again? Why didn’t she try to find him?”

Seokjin hesitates. He realizes, now, that this was what Jungkook had meant when he said he’d never told his hyungs about their birth pack. “Jungkook’s umma neglected him.”

Namjoon blinks, and then his expression flattens, as if carved from stone. “What?”

Seokjin peers up at him, totally serious, needing Namjoon to believe him when he knows too often that victims don’t get to tell their story. “She was abusive.”

Namjoon is silent, thoughtful, and then he turns his hand over in Seokjin’s grip so that he can take hold of the omega’s hand. “I’m coming by the Palace tomorrow. We’re going to go say hi to Jungkook’s umma. I want to know why she’s here, and I don’t want her going near him.”

Seokjin exhales, and realizes that suddenly everything feels right again, the world tilted back on its axis. Namjoon was here, Namjoon would help him.

“Thank you,” he says, and Namjoon smiles a little bemusedly.

“You don’t need to thank me,” he says. “I’m your Pack Alpha.”

“Still,” Seokjin says. He wants Namjoon to know how grateful he is, how much it means to Seokjin to have someone like Namjoon on his side, someone like Namjoon who would protect him. “I know you don’t need it, but I want to do something for you too.” Namjoon blinks, evidently surprised. “You’re always protecting us,” Seokjin explains. “There must be something I can do to repay you.”

Namjoon’s silent for so long that Seokjin feels anxiety creep under his skin, and he thinks maybe he should go back to his own room except Namjoon is still holding his hand.

“Let me scent you,” Namjoon says suddenly.

“W-what?”

“Let me scent you,” Namjoon repeats. “It would get rid of that annoying alpha buzzing around, and it would make me feel better.”

“But I meant something that would be for you,” Seokjin protests, unable to understand how Namjoon scenting him would in any way repay the alpha for all he had done.

“I know,” Namjoon says easily. “And this is what I want.”

Seokjin studies his open expression, his warm features, and then nods. “Well, okay.”

He shuffles backward on the bed as Namjoon moves from his perch on the armchair to join him, and Seokjin takes a hold of his loose hair, swinging it over his shoulder and baring his neck to Namjoon. The alpha pauses, gaze flickering between the unmarked skin of Seokjin’s neck and the omega’s bemused expression. And then he dips down, and the tip of his nose brushes the skin over Seokjin’s scent gland.

The sudden sensation is so shocking, it feels like fire is shooting through Seokjin’s body, all the way down to his toes. It feels like everything is dialed up to eleven, in an instant. His entire world shrinks down to Namjoon, to his sandalwood scent, to the feeling of his lips and teeth grazing over the column of Seokjin’s throat.

He hadn’t known it would feel like this. He hadn’t expected it. He hadn’t scented, or been scented, in a long time, and it had never felt like this. He wonders if it’s because of his attraction to Namjoon, and his eyelashes flutter at the heat Namjoon’s bare chest gives off like a furnace, hands coming up to grip the alpha’s shoulders.

Namjoon draws back from his throat, a little bit, but not enough to leave Seokjin completely. When he speaks, Seokjin can feel Namjoon’s breath on his skin. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Seokjin says, breathy, and he flushes, embarrassed.

But Namjoon doesn’t say anything more, ducking back down to Seokjin’s neck, and even more embarrassingly, Seokjin feels exhaustion overtake him. It’s just – Namjoon’s scent is everywhere, all over him, calming, soothing, relaxing. It feels like a thick blanket, wrapping him up and keeping him safe, and Seokjin’s hands loosen their grip on Namjoon, and his eyelids feel heavier and heavier, until he slumps forward into Namjoon’s chest.

“…hyung?”

Seokjin can barely keep his eyes open. “Hmm?”

He hears a low chuckle, and then he’s gently deposited on the bed, and he loves it, because it smells just like Namjoon.

“Go to sleep, hyung.”

“Okay,” Seokjin murmurs happily, burrowing into the pillow and feeling far happier than he’s felt in a long, long time.

Namjoon, he thinks. A category of alpha that only one man could ever hope to fit.

☾

Jungkook is back on the same stretch of road where he’d reunited with Jimin months ago. It was true, what he said then, that it was a bad part of the City. It’s true now, that he can probably get the information he needs from one of the many scummy bars. Jungkook has spent much of his life in the shadows, in the darker parts of the City because he thought that was where he belonged.

So he’s able to easily slot back into this life, entering the bars without a second glance, black boots heavy on his feet and black hair tumbling down into his eyes, black face mask covering the lower part of his face. His dog tags are missing, but the ring still rests on his chain, silver against his black oversized shirt.

He takes a seat on one of the bar stools, and when the bartender approaches, he orders a beer.

“Hey,” he says, when he’s handed a pint. “I need to get something fixed. Is there anyone here who might be able to give me a hand?”

The bartender pauses. “I think we have a few handymen around. Let me check.”

So Jungkook sits back, takes a sip of his beer, and waits.

The TV hooked into the ceiling shows two alphas fighting, but it’s the barely legal pit fights, where alphas were allowed to shift to their wolf forms. Back when Jungkook was fourteen and packless, he’d seen fights like these and thought that’s my future. He was good at fighting, and he used to think that was all he was good for.

He wonders, now, what his life would be like if he hadn’t met Namjoon. If the older alpha hadn’t held out a hand to him, and never him let go.

Most wolves can’t stomach the injuries that result from the pit fights, and Jungkook knows there’s been a push in demanding the Head Alpha’s pack to criminalize it. More than one alpha had died from the pit fights, but they keep going because there’s so much money in fighting.

Jungkook remains apathetic.

He’s seen much worse, throughout his life, and it’s easy for him to keep his gaze on the screen but tune it out, instead focusing on the scents, on the sounds that filter throughout the bar. He waits, and he waits, and then an alpha slides into the seat next to him.

“Whiskey!” The alpha calls out, and a moment later a tumbler filled with amber liquid is sliding across the bar top. The alpha grabs it, drains it, and then turns to Jungkook. “Haven’t seen you around here in a long time, little alpha. You used to stick your nose in and out of all the bars around here. Are we too good for you now?”

The alpha is shorter than Jungkook, thin, with the kind of plain features that would make Jungkook’s eyes pass right over him in a crowd.

Jungkook lifts one should uncaringly. “Haven’t had a reason to be around.”

The alpha laughs good-naturedly, following Jungkook’s eyes up to the TV screen. “Thinking about joining the pits? I think you’d make quite a lot of money for yourself. You have the build for it.”

Jungkook finally turns to look at the alpha, the one he knows only by his nickname, The Fixer. “I’m not here to talk about the pits.”

The alpha raises an eyebrow, and he looks a little unimpressed with Jungkook’s unwillingness to go along with him. “Yeah? What are you here to talk about? Why are you back, little alpha?” He drains another shot of whiskey. “I used to see you coming around here, every now and then. You stopped in the last few months, but before that, I saw you. Why are you back?”

Jungkook waits, lets the sounds of the bar bubble around them, and then says, “I need something fixed.”

The Fixer raises an eyebrow, a smirk unfurling across his lips. “Well now. That’s something I can do for you.”

“I need information,” Jungkook continues, still uncaringly, still aloof. “A beta friend of mine, his club and his apartment were broken into. It looks like a hate crime. I want to know who did it.”

The Fixer is silent for a moment, and then he laughs loudly again. “This is unexpected,” he tells Jungkook. “When you told me you needed something fixed, I thought you were going to say you needed me to hide a body.”

“I’ve never killed a-” Jungkook changes his wording at the last second, “wolf.”

The Fixer looks amused, like he’s caught the awkwardness of Jungkook’s words. “You’ve probably come pretty close a few times though, haven’t you?”

Jungkook looks away now, back towards the TV screen, and a muscle jumps in his jaw.

“Don’t be ashamed of it,” the Fixer says. “It’s our biology. It’s in our blood.”

But Jungkook doesn’t believe that anymore. “Can you help me or not?”

“Alright, alright,” the Fixer says, like they’re friends. “Finding information is easy. Give me a week, and meet me back here. I’ll have something about your beta hate crimes. And then you can let me know if you need my help in hiding a body.”

☽

Seokjin’s favourite place by far in the Palace are the pools of fresh water that he gets to soak in for his cleansing rituals. Kind of like a bubble bath for his moon magic, the fresh pools are saturated with moonlight, purifying his connection to his moon magic. He always feels so much better when he leaves the pools, his mind clearer, sharper.

He thinks he’ll need it, because he stops short at the sight of an omega sitting on one of the benches in the courtyard just outside of the pools. Seokjin’s hair is still damp, because he hadn’t dried it completely, loose and unbraided, and he’s dressed only in one of the bath robes – a loose white linen robe that ties at the front.

Jeon Jieun is petite, small, with tiny hands and a round face. Her long hair is tied back in a low bun with a green ribbon, and she looks up in surprise when Seokjin makes his approach. He knows he should be waiting for Namjoon for this confrontation, but he can’t help himself. He has to say something.

“What are you doing here?”

Jieun blinks, and she sets aside the book she’d been reading, marking her page. “Kim Seokjin,” she murmurs. “It’s been a long time. I’d always wondered if you made it, or if you died in the forest.”

“I lived,” Seokjin says stiffly. He towers over her, because he’s standing and she’s sitting, so he takes a seat on the park bench. He repeats his question. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here now,” Jieun tells him, and Seokjin grits his teeth because she’s being purposefully obtuse.

“You left the pack?”

Jieun scoffs. “You think it’s that easy? I tried it once, and I lost everything.”

“What?” Seokjin asks, not understanding.

“Our pack is gone, Seokjin,” Jieun tells him, and Seokjin freezes. “Everyone. All of it. It’s gone.”

“What…what do you mean?” Seokjin breathes.

Jieun laughs, and it’s unkind. “I mean that Alpha died, Seokjin. He was sick for a while, but he refused to go into the City. I’m not sure that would have helped him anyway; it was pretty obvious he was poisoned by Minseok.”

Seokjin’s jaw drops. “What?”

“Alpha died, because Minseok wanted to take over the pack,” Jieun continues. “But he underestimated how much support he had. Or didn’t have, I guess. The pack turned on itself, and I don’t know if anyone else lived. I got out of there as fast as I could.”

Seokjin sits back, stunned. “Wow. I never…I never expected that. All this time…” All this time, he’d been so worried about Jungkook, trying to keep him safe from a pack that didn’t exist anymore.

Jieun smirks, evidently pleased with how much she’d shocked Seokjin.

“So then, why did you come here?” Seokjin asks. “I don’t remember you being especially good at moon magic.”

Jieun’s smirk drops, and now she looks over at Seokjin, something much darker in her eyes. “Why are you here?” She counters. “Finally realize that our pack raised you to be an omega with absolutely nothing to offer besides submission to an alpha?”

Seokjin looks away, uncomfortable. “I’m worth more than that. I have a lot more than that to offer. Stop projecting your own situation onto me.”

Jieun scoffs. “Stop pretending,” she snaps. “You grew up as an omega in that pack too. What did we have?”

And Seokjin finally feels the anger bubble over, the same anger he’d always felt as a child, the anger he’d allowed himself to feel when he lived in the village. “You had Jungkook!”

He’s so loud, it’s almost a scream. It cuts through the courtyard, and Jieun falls silent, her eyes widening. Seokjin feels his breath stutter; fury wells up in him so quickly, he can barely find a way to let it all out.

Jieun’s eyes narrow. “I had Jungkook?” she repeats. “What good has that ever brought me?”

Seokjin’s hands curl into fists in his lap. “You had Jungkook, and you hated him. You tore him to shreds, you hit him, you made him think he was worthless. Don’t fucking sit there and act like you had nothing, when you had the most precious pup that was ever born into our pack. Jungkook didn’t deserve what you did to him. He’s always been too good for you.”

Jieun sneers; it looks ugly on her delicate features. “You wouldn’t understand,” she tells him. “I gave my life for Jungkook. I gave up everything for him. Do you think I ever wanted to stay in that pack? Don’t sit there and pretend that you’re any better. You left him too. You were selfish, and mean, and you chose to leave him behind because you knew that he was a burden, and you knew that you didn’t want to take care of him anymore.”

Seokjin’s breathing is rough, deep, sitting heavy in his throat. “Yeah, I left him. And I’ll regret that until the day I die,” he admits. “But I also loved him. I’ve loved him since he was born, and I’ll love him until the day he dies. And even after that, too; always, forever. I found him again, and I’ll never, ever leave him, not again. So don’t sit there, and tell me I’m the same as you.”

Jieun scoffs. “You’re not a parent. You wouldn’t understand.”

But Seokjin feels anger tunneling his vision. “What is there to understand? Why didn’t you love him? He’s so easy to love.”

It falls into silence, and Jieun looks away. Seokjin takes in a deep breath, tries to reign in his anger a little bit; it’s not for Jieun’s sake, but his own. He needs Jieun to tell him why she’s here.

“My pregnancy…” Jieun’s voice is quiet, but she turns her head to look over at Seokjin again. “Giving birth to Jungkook, it was complicated.”

“Because of his father,” Seokjin says. He knows that much at least. But Jieun looks a little surprised.

“How do you know about Jungkook’s father?”

Seokjin huffs out a short laugh. “You know our pack. You know the omegas. They wanted me to know whose son I was spending all my time with.”

Jieun’s jaw clenches. “Those fucking bitches. They were always so jealous of me. That’s why they did what they did. That’s why they all got together to ruin me.”

Seokjin’s brows draw together; he’s confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Nothing,” Jieun snaps. She glares at him, back to her foul mood, and Seokjin feels thrown off. It almost seems like her moods are ephemeral, like she’s unstable, flitting from one emotion to the next. “If that’s all, Seokjin, I’m going to go back to reading. I didn’t come to the Palace to be interrogated by you. I don’t need to tell you why I’m here.”

But she does, Seokjin thinks. She does, because of Jungkook. And then he remembers Namjoon, and how the alpha wanted to speak with Jieun too, and he pushes himself to his feet. “Fine,” he says. He frowns, and Jieun ignores him. “Whatever.”

He leaves the courtyard, intent on finding Namjoon who he knew would soon be coming to the Palace. It would be far better to ambush Jieun with Namjoon’s presence, to get her to talk, to warn her off of Jungkook

“Seokjin-ssi!”

He stops short, in surprise, nearly running straight into Dongmin. “Oh!”

He hadn’t expected to see the other alpha; Dongmin shouldn’t be at the Palace, not today. It throws him off, and then he sees the way Dongmin’s eyes trail up and down the length of Seokjin’s body; Seokjin is still only wearing his linen robe and his hair is long and loose, unstyled, undecorated. Seokjin looks like he just stepped out of the bath, and he crosses his arms over his chest uncomfortably, taking a subtle step back. “I didn’t expect to see you here, Dongmin-ssi.”

“I came by to see you, Seokjin-ssi,” Dongmin says, taking a step closer and discomfort snakes its way under Seokjin’s skin. He feels cornered, even in the open hallway of the Palace. He can’t help the way his fingers come up to play with his earrings, the ones that connect him to Namjoon. “Jimin isn’t here today, is he?”

Dongmin asks it like he already knows the answer, and no, Jimin isn’t here today.

“I’m really busy today,” Seokjin says firmly, trying to sound more unbothered than he really is. “Sorry.”

“Can I help?” Dongmin asks, taking another step forward, and then, before Seokjin can answer, his nose crinkles and he takes a subconscious step backward. “…what?”

Seokjin’s shoulders tighten, confusion making his heart pound. “What is it?”

“You smell…” Dongmin’s frowning. “You smell like an alpha.”

Oh, Seokjin thinks. “Yes,” he says, pausing for a moment, thinking, and then, “That would be my mate.”

Dongmin’s mouth drops open. “Mate?”

“Yes,” Seokjin says primly, finding so much comfort in the lie that it easily rolls off his tongue. “The alpha scent…it’s my mate.”

Dongmin looks stunned. He can’t seem to find his words, and Seokjin thinks he will finally be rid of him. “You never mentioned a mate.”

“Should I have?” Seokjin asks, a little blandly. “It’s not really any of your business, is it?”

Dongmin’s expression contorts, into something meaner, and he scoffs. “Don’t be a bitch, Seokjin. You liked having me chase you, huh? That’s why you waited so long to tell me.”

Seokjin gapes at him, and incredulous laugh escaping his mouth, forgetting his usual submission to alphas because he is still so shaken by his conversation with Jieun and because the anger is still simmering just beneath his skin. “Liked it? I hated it. I don’t want you to chase me, Dongmin-ssi. I’ve only ever wanted you to leave me alone.”

Something dark and furious streaks across Dongmin’s face, and a low growl builds in his chest, and Seokjin takes another step back and-

“Omega.”

A voice calls out to him, just down the hall, a low baritone smooth and deep. Seokjin shivers at the warmth of it, looking over his shoulder at Namjoon, and then his lips part in surprise.

Namjoon looks as handsome as ever, hair styled out of his face, golden skin glowing. He’s wearing a mix of traditional alpha robes with a modern twist; the robes are open, loose, trimmed with golden detailing. Seokjin has never seen Namjoon in traditional clothes, and it makes heat curl in his belly, especially when he sees the earrings that he made dangling from Namjoon’s ears.

He wonders if Namjoon heard him call him mate, he wonders if Namjoon will play along.

Namjoon approaches, bigger and taller than Dongmin, and now that they are side-by-side Seokjin sees how incomparable they truly are. The scent of sandalwood saturates the air around him, and Seokjin can finally relax. “Alpha.”

Namjoon hums in acknowledgment, reaching up to slide his open robes off of his shoulders. “Must have been a relaxing cleanse, hyung,” is all he says, handing Seokjin the robe, and Seokjin feels relief well up inside of him. He quickly takes another few steps away from Dongmin, turning his back to the other alpha to give himself some semblance of privacy as he slips on the outer robe that smells so much of Namjoon. When he turns back to the two alphas, Namjoon has already stepped between them, blocking Seokjin from Dongmin’s view.

“Who are you? How do you know my omega?”

My omega, Seokjin thinks, heat shooting through him. He steps up beside Namjoon again, though still tucked a little bit behind the alpha, to watch a series of expressions flit across Dongmin’s face; shock, rage, disgust, before finally smoothing into something resembling masked politeness. “We work together.”

“No we don’t,” Seokjin interjects, before Dongmin can go any further. He’s not normally this contrary with alphas, but having Namjoon next to him is a comfort like no other. “This is the alpha that’s been harassing me,” he informs Namjoon, and Dongmin splutters.

“Harrassing?”

Namjoon’s expression grows colder. “Is that so?”

“I’m not harassing you!”

“Yes you are!” Seokjin tells him. “You won’t leave me alone!”

“You never told me to stop,” Dongmin protests. “You should have told me, and I would have! You’re making me out to seem like such a bad guy, but you never said a word!”

But Seokjin had. He’d rejected him, but maybe he hadn’t done it firmly enough. Maybe he shouldn’t have been as scared as he was to give Dongmin a firm no.

Namjoon scoffs, a sound emanating from deep in his chest. “Are you blaming my omega?” The question is not particularly threatening, but Seokjin feels the hair at the back of his neck raise up.

Dongmin must feel similarly on edge, because he takes a moment to answer. “I’m saying it wasn’t my fault,” he says cautiously.

Namjoon laughs. The expression on his face is open, humourous, but ice cold. Namjoon wears it like a mask. “How many times have you asked my omega out?”

“Excuse me?”

“How many times?” Namjoon repeats.

Dongmin doesn’t answer.

“Seven,” Seokjin says quietly. “Including today.”

“And Seokjin-hyung has rejected you every time. Do you crave rejection from omegas who are way out of your league that much, or are you just stupid?”

Dongmin sneers. “He strung me along. He made me think he was available.”

“Available doesn’t mean interested,” Namjoon tells him. His voice is very quiet now, and he takes a few steps forward, cornering Dongmin the same way the alpha had cornered Seokjin earlier. “Since you can’t seem to take a hint, let me spell it out for you. No, my omega isn’t interested, and no, he’s not available. If I hear your name come out of Seokjin-hyung’s mouth one more time, I’m going to talk with your Pack Alpha; Youngchul-nim, isn’t it?”

Seokjin jolts at the threat, and anxiety creeps into Dongmin’s scent. “How…?”

Namjoon laughs again, deeper, and Seokjin shivers. “He doesn’t like it when his alphas cause problems for the pack, does he? I wonder what he might do to you, as punishment. Isn’t he the one paying for you to go to the University?”

Dongmin pales, and he back peddles from Namjoon. “I…you don’t have to tell him about this.”

“No, I don’t,” Namjoon agrees. “Like I said, leave my omega alone, and we won’t have a problem. I don’t want to hear about you harassing other omegas, I don’t want to hear about you causing my omega grief. That shit makes me feel sick, so I have to do something about it, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Dongmin agrees, still backing away from Namjoon. “I won’t…you won’t hear about me.” And then he’s gone, without a backward glance at Seokjin, and Namjoon exhales.

“What an idiot,” Namjoon mutters, finally turning around to face Seokjin and then he makes a soft noise as Seokjin’s hands come up to cup his face and the omega slots their lips together, kissing Namjoon.

“Thank you,” he whispers, pulling back. Namjoon looks surprised, but his hands have found a place at Seokjin’s hips and his cheeks dimple when he smiles.

“Do you think he saw?” Namjoon asks. “I think he might be gone.”

Seokjin shakes his head. “I didn’t do it so Dongmin could see,” he says, laughing a little bit, and Namjoon’s expressions shifts into something shyer, more hopeful.

“Hyung? Then why…?”

“Because I wanted to,” Seokjin says, and then he presses another kiss to Namjoon’s lips. He pulls back again, smiling. “Also, I don’t want you to be mad but…I already spoke to Jungkook’s umma.”

Namjoon pauses, his hands still on Seokjin’s hips. “I thought we were going to do that together.”

“I know,” Seokjin says apologetically. “I just…I saw her, when I got out of the baths, and I couldn’t help myself. I’m just so mad at her.”

Namjoon nods. “I get it,” he says gently. “I’d probably have done the same. But I still want to meet her; I need to be sure that she isn’t going to do anything to hurt Jungkook, not anymore.”

“Okay,” Seokjin agrees, and then he pulls back far enough so that he can take Namjoon’s hand and lead him further into the Palace.

Jieun is still sitting at the same bench, still reading the same novel. She only lifts her head when they’re close enough that she hears their footsteps. “Back again?”

Seokjin doesn’t deem this worth answering. Jieun closes the book, pushing herself up and shifting her gaze to Namjoon. Even standing, Jieun is tiny with a very delicate build. There is a resemblance to Jungkook in the slope of her nose, in the slant of her eyes, but the similarities stop there. Seokjin thinks Jungkook must resemble his father far more than his mother, but he only has one hazy memory of Jungkook’s father; he’d been so young back then, and the only thing he can really remember are those golden eyes.

Namjoon stops short, examining the petite omega. She stares right back, lips parted in surprise, hands falling limp in her grip on the book and it falls to the ground with a soft thump!

“Who are you?” She asks, something defensive in the curl of her shoulders now. She looks wary.

“Kim Namjoon,” the alpha answers. “Do you know who I am?”

Jieun pauses. She bends down to pick up her book, and dusts off the cover. “Yes. You have a very strong resemblance to your father, although I’m sure he must be jealous of your eyes. Are you here to kill me?”

It’s very straightforward and frank, the way she asks it, and Namjoon shakes his head. “No,” he says. “Though I might have a reason to after I find out exactly what you did to Jungkook.”

Jieun doesn’t answer this right away. She sets the book down onto the bench, and then turns to Seokjin. “You found Jungkook.”

Seokjin’s mouth is dry, and he swallows painfully. He realizes now, that Jieun had no idea that Jungkook was alive, or that Seokjin was in contact with him. They’d never really had anything to fear. He looks over at Namjoon, and sees the same realization on his face.

“I want to see him,” Jieun says. She’s only looking at Seokjin now. “Tell him to come see me.”

“Why?” Seokjin asks. He can’t get the rest out: Why do you want to see him? Why are you asking me? Why do you think I’d ever agree to that?

“There’s so much I have to tell him,” Jieun says. Her gaze flickers to Namjoon. “About his father. About our pack. About what they did to me, to him.”

Seokjin shakes his head. “We already know about his father. Namjoon’s going to tell him.”

Jieun laughs, amused. “Oh little alpha,” she says, looking at Namjoon. “What could you possibly know about Jungkook’s father? About what happened in our pack? You only know one piece of the puzzle, and if you only give him one piece, Jungkook will spend the rest of his life searching for the rest of it.”

“We’ll help him,” Seokjin says quietly. “If it takes him his whole life, we’ll help him find those pieces.”

But Jieun laughs again. “You really don’t know anything. Jungkook needs some of these answers now, Seokjin.”

“Why?” Namjoon asks.

“Because Minseok is still alive.”

☾

The Fixer seems to have lost all his humour, when Jungkook meets with him again, a week later.

“What are you getting yourself mixed up in, little alpha?” he asks.

Jungkook doesn’t answer. “Did you get the information I needed?”

“Yes,” the Fixer says, scoffing like Jungkook should never have doubted him. He’s unnaturally serious, and Jungkook detects the barest hints of nervousness in his voice. “But don’t ask me for any more information about this. It’s dangerous, what you’re looking into.”

Jungkook ignores this. “I’ll keep that in mind. Is everything in this file?”

“Yes,” the other alpha slides another sheet on top of the file, the cost for the information. Jungkook hands him an envelope with the correct amount, and slides the file into his bag. He stands from the barstool, intent on leaving, but he’s held back by a grip on his arm.

“Wait,” the Fixer says. “I can’t let you go without telling you, not in good conscience.”

“What is it?” Jungkook asks, annoyance creeping into his voice.

“The man behind this – Minseok – it looks like he has ties within the Head Alpha’s pack. I didn’t put it in there because I didn’t want that information written down. But be careful. This is much bigger than a simple beta hate crime.”

Minseok.

It has to be a coincidence, right?

“Thanks,” Jungkook says, both for the information and for the warning. He makes his way out of the bar, nearly stumbling on the last stair as he steps out into the warm night.

Minseok?

The name still makes him break out into a cold sweat. It makes him want to find a safe place to hide. It can’t be the same Minseok from his childhood, it just can’t.

☽

Seokjin feels his breath stutter. “What did you just say?” His voice is weak, breathless, tiny.

“Out of everyone who died in our pack, I hoped for his death the most,” Jieun says. She looks over at Namjoon. “You don’t look as lost as I’d expect.”

Namjoon shakes his head. “No,” he says slowly. “I’ve heard of this…Minseok.”

Jieun smiles, but it’s brittle. “Jungkook’s mentioned him, huh?”

“No,” Namjoon says again. “He never talks about Minseok.”

“I wouldn’t either,” Jieun says. “That alpha is like a disease; getting into your head, twisting you this way and that, making your own thoughts turn against you. Jungkook was only a pup when Minseok became his teacher. But being a teacher was never going to be good enough for him; he wanted to be Alpha.”

“So where is he now?” Seokjin asks.

“Here,” Jieun says, dismissively, like she isn’t shattering Seokjin’s whole world with a single word. “He’s here, in the City. He has been for the last two years, at least.”

“What,” Seokjin breathes again, stunned. How had he not known? How had Jungkook been so lucky as to never run into him?

But Jieun suddenly goes quiet. “I don’t want to say anymore,” she says abruptly. “Not without talking to Jungkook. Bring him to me.”

Namjoon exhales. “What if I just tell him who his father is, before you get the chance? Knock you down a few pegs. You don’t own Jungkook’s life.”

Outrage breaks across Jieun’s face, and she swings around on Seokjin. “You owe me,” she says savagely, a growl tearing from her throat. “You fucking owe me, Seokjin. You ran away from our pack, and you saw me looking right at you when you made your escape. I didn’t say a fucking word; I never sounded the alarm. I pretended I didn’t see you, and you got to escape whatever alpha they were going to bind you to for the rest of your life!”

Seokjin swallows. What Jieun is saying is all true, and he looks over at Namjoon. “She did,” he says weakly. “She saw me run, and she didn’t say a word.”

Namjoon’s frowning. He looks frustrated, suddenly, and he rubs his eyes tiredly. “Fine,” he says eventually. “We’ll tell Jungkook. But not for you,” he shoots Jieun a harsh glare. “But only because I’m already keeping enough secrets from Jungkook. He deserves to know, to make his own decision. And if he decides he doesn’t want to come see you, I’m not making him come. You’ll have to live with what you’ve done.”

“Fine,” Jieun says. She doesn’t sound bothered. “He’ll come. Of course he’ll come. He won’t be able to stay away.”

☾

It is the same Minseok.

How? Jungkook thinks. How was it possible? Why was Minseok here, now, in the City?

He’s back in his own apartment, in the early hours of the morning, and it feels far lonelier than it’s ever been before. But he needs the space to spread out the information inside the file, he needs the space to think. Minseok is the most dangerous wolf he knows, and he doesn’t want any of this touching Jimin. Minseok’s already inadvertently gotten too close; through Jungkook, through Taehyung.

The file says this particular group of wolves started coalescing around two years ago, under their leader: Minseok. It goes into detail about how many wolves are suspected to take part in the beta hate crimes, but it isn’t their main goal. No, that’s written out quite clearly in the file.

Terrorism. Alpha supremacy. And then, written just underneath and much smaller, plot to kill Head Alpha?

He understands the Fixer’s fear now. Jungkook feels trepidation in his stomach, and it makes him nauseous. For once, he thinks he might have bitten off more than he can chew. He doesn’t think he can do this on his own.

He doesn’t sleep, sitting for hours at his kitchen table with the file spread out around him, like he hopes that if he stares long enough at all of the information, an answer will come to him. But soon it is seven in the morning, his phone alarm is chiming, and Jungkook stretches as he stands, organizing all of the loose sheets of paper back into the yellow file folder.

“What is this?” Yejun asks, when Jungkook places the same file folder down onto his desk.

“Information about the break-ins at Inner Child and Taehyung-ssi’s apartment,” Jungkook tells him. Yejun raises an eyebrow and flips the file open. He’s silent as he looks through the information.

“Where did you get this?”

“It’s not important,” Jungkook says. “But it’s all true.”

Yejun doesn’t push for more of an answer, because it probably isn’t very important where Jungkook got this information anyway. Legality was always more of a grey area when it came to this kind of stuff.

“So, how do we find this…Minseok,” Yejun wonders out loud, and he probably isn’t looking for an answer, but Jungkook’s stomach clenches.

“I can do that,” Jungkook tells him.

Yejun looks over at him, surprised. “What?”

“I can find him,” Jungkook tries to explain. “I…I know him.”

Yejun is silent. “How?”

“From my birth pack.” Each answer feels like it’s being pulled from his chest, no matter how freely Jungkook is offering this information. But he needs to find Minseok first, before the older alpha finds him, or, god forbid, finds Jimin.

“I see,” Yejun murmurs. He looks back down at the file, flipping through it, and then snaps it shut. “This is very delicate information, Jungkook. Especially if there is a mole within the Head Alpha’s pack. I trust you understand that.”

“I do.”

“Good,” Yejun says. “Then go find this Minseok. You said he’s from your birth pack? Join him. Make him think you want to be a part of…this. We’ll tear his pack apart from the inside out.”

☽

The sight of Jungkook is a pleasant surprise on Hoseok’s doorstep, and he quickly ushers the younger alpha inside. “Yoongi-hyung isn’t here,” Hoseok tells him, watching Jungkook duck down to swiftly untie his black boots. “He’s meeting with a new artist at the studio.”

“That’s okay,” Jungkook says softly. “I’m not here for him. I’m here to talk to Taehyung.”

Hoseok blinks. “Oh,” he says. “Okay. He’s here; he’s in his room.”

Jungkook glances down the hall, and then looks back to Hoseok. “It’s about the investigation, and…it’s private.”

“Oh,” Hoseok says again. He was fully prepared to sit with Jungkook and Taehyung, and now he pauses. “Alright, well, let me tell him you’re here to talk.”

Jungkook nods, and Hoseok makes his way to Taehyung’s room, knocking on the door and opening it when Taehyung calls out to let him in. He pokes his head into the room. “Jungkookie’s here to talk to you.” Taehyung looks surprised, uncertain, and Hoseok continues. “About the investigation.”

“Right,” Taehyung nods. “You can let him in.”

Hoseok studies him for a moment, hesitant, and then says, quickly, softly, “Please try to be polite. He’s working hard to find out who did this to you, and…I care about you both so much. So please?”

Taehyung swallows, and nods his head. “Yeah, I…I’ll be nicer.”

“Thank you,” Hoseok breathes, shooting Taehyung a quick smile and then looking back down the hall to Jungkook. “You can come in!”

Jungkook shuts the door behind him, once he’s in Taehyung’s room, and then the apartment is silent. They’re not fighting, and Hoseok can only pick up on the soft murmuring of their voices, which means Taehyung’s sticking to his promise.

Half an hour passes before the door to Taehyung’s room opens again, and Hoseok immediately sits up from his seat on the couch – not that he’d been anxiously waiting, or anything.

But Jungkook looks the same as he did when he arrived, though maybe a little less tense. Taehyung looks thoughtful, and they both stop short at the sight of Hoseok watching them.

“What?” Taehyung asks, a little defensively.

“Nothing,” Hoseok says quickly. He stands, pushing his laptop aside. There isn’t a strong resemblance between Jungkook and Taehyung, besides their golden eyes. Nothing would automatically point to them being brothers, but seeing them stand side-by-side now, Hoseok thinks he can see a connection between them. They’re both tall, strong, good-looking. Together, they exude this impenetrable aura, like you wouldn’t be able to get close. And Hoseok thinks, if they could just get along, they’d be unbeatable.

Jungkook exhales, offering Hoseok an apologetic smile. “I have to go,” he says. “Namjoon-hyung texted me; he wants me to go over.”

“Okay,” Hoseok says, and watches Taehyung turn to look at Jungkook.

“Let me walk you out,” the beta says, and then they disappear from view as they pass through the living room to the apartment entrance. Hoseok stands from the couch, creeping closer to the front of his apartment, peering around the corner of the wall.

“…tell Jimin,” Taehyung’s saying, still standing closer to Jungkook than Hoseok ever thought he’d be comfortable doing. Jungkook’s got his boots on, and he looks towards the beta.

“I don’t know,” he says, like it’s an answer he’s given Taehyung before.

“I’m going to tell him,” Taehyung says. “I don’t like keeping things from Jimin, especially about this investigation. I was burned once, keeping secrets. I don’t want to do it again.”

Jungkook silent for a moment. “He might be in more danger.”

“Jimin’s not a child,” Taehyung points out. “You can’t protect someone by keeping them in the dark all the time. Jimin has a right to protect himself. So are you going to give him what he needs in order to do that?”

Jungkook hesitates, and then he nods. “Yeah,” he says finally. “I’ll tell him. Just give me a bit of time to sort this out, to figure out what I’m going to say.”

Taehyung seems to find that funny, and he laughs, though it’s not unkind. “You don’t have to be so perfect, with Jimin. He’s not that sensitive to stuff like that. It’s better your words come out messy than not at all.”

“Right,” Jungkook agrees. “I know, he…he’s made that kind of clear.”

“So tell him,” Taehyung says again, and Jungkook nods.

“I will.”

And then Jungkook’s gone, and Taehyung turns around, meeting Hoseok’s gaze and pausing. “Eavesdropping, huh?”

Hoseok flushes, caught. “I just wanted to make sure you were getting along.”

“Did you listen at my door too?” Taehyung asks, but he doesn’t sound upset.

Hoseok shakes his head. “No.”

Taehyung makes a soft noise, and then moves back into the apartment, back into the living room. He’s silent, but Hoseok is so curious. “What did Jungkook say?”

Taehyung pauses for a moment. “He found out who was behind the attacks.”

“Really?” Hoseok asks. “That’s good news, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung agrees, shrugging. “It’s a bit complicated, though, so I might have to stay here for longer than we thought. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” Hoseok agrees quickly. “Stay as long as you need to. Did…what else did he say about the investigation?”

Taehyung smiles faintly. “I know you’re curious,” he says. “But it’s private.”

Hoseok feels chastised. “Sorry.”

Taehyung shakes his head. “It’s okay, I’ll tell you about it when it all gets sorted out.”

“Okay,” Hoseok agrees, and then he moves towards the kitchen. “I’m going to make some lunch, want anything?”

Taehyung nods, shifting his gaze back to the window.

“I’m going to make this right. Minseok took so much from you, and he’s doing it again. I’m going to find him, and I’m going to kill him. You won’t ever be a victim to him, never again. And with this, maybe you can start to forgive me. Maybe we can be something closer to brothers.”

“What if he kills you first?”

A pause. “Then I’ll die. There’s nothing I can do to stop that. Maybe it would make you happy.”

“Why would that make me happy?”

Another pause, longer this time. “I never apologized, for what I did to you. And…I’m sorry. It doesn’t feel like enough but, I’m so sorry.”

Taehyung shifts, far more uncomfortable than he’d ever thought he’d be. Suddenly, he doesn’t like hearing Jungkook apologize. Guilt surges through him, inexplicably. He thinks about the file that sits in Hoseok’s desk, the file Jungkook doesn’t know about. “Minseok carries far more blame than you. I’m…I’m beginning to realize that, now.”

A pair of golden eyes are looking up at him, surprised, hopeful, relieved.

“What do you want it to mean, being brothers?”

A ghost of a smile appears, equally honest and sardonic. “Family?”

Taehyung exhales. “Family.” He likes the sound of that.

☾

The fact that his umma is alive doesn’t shock Jungkook – he’d always wondered if he’d feel her death, if a part of him would know it had happened. But the process of finding out she lived in the Palace goes like this:

Namjoon and Seokjin sit him down, taking their own spots on either side of him, and Jungkook glances between their serious gazes. “What is it?”

Seokjin’s the one who tells him, quick and painful, like he’s tearing off a bandage. And then he sits back, watching Jungkook like he thinks Jungkook is a ticking time bomb, like he thinks he’ll have to dive in headfirst and hold the pieces together with duct tape. But Jungkook doesn’t feel like he’s falling apart; he doesn’t feel much of anything at all, actually.

Seokjin’s words feel like they’re very far away, like Seokjin is above ground and Jungkook is inside a damp, dark cave, the words echoing and bouncing around and becoming a mess inside Jungkook’s ears.

“She’s…at the Palace?” he has to repeat it, to be sure that’s what Seokjin’s said. She’s there, where Seokjin was, where Jimin was?

“Yes,” Seokjin tells him, still so hesitant, hands held up like he wants to reach out for Jungkook. “Namjoon and I spoke with her and…she wants to see you.”

Jungkook blinks owlishly. “My umma?”

“Yes,” Seokjin says again. His voice is weird, panicked, nervous, so Jungkook turns to look at Namjoon, and the older alpha nods too.

“Oh,” Jungkook says, leaning back against the couch. “Oh.”

It falls silent, and then Namjoon says, “Jungkook-ah, you don’t have to go see her if you don’t want to. No one here is going to force you. It’s your decision.”

“Right,” Jungkook says slowly. He thinks about his umma, he thinks about Minseok. He thinks about how they’re both somehow here in the City at the same time, close enough to hurt him all over again. “I want to see her. I want to speak with her.”

And that’s that.

Seokjin turns to Namjoon and says, “I’m free tomorrow. We could see her in the afternoon.”

Namjoon agrees, but Jungkook frowns.

“I want to do this alone.”

They both turn to look at him, and Jungkook holds his ground.

Seokjin looks unsure, and Namjoon hesitates. “Jungkook, you don’t have to do this by yourself. We’re here for you.”

“I know that,” Jungkook says. “But…this is something I have to do alone.”

Namjoon still looks like he wants to disagree, but he doesn’t argue. “Can we still come to the Palace with you? I want to talk to you before you go in to see her. I just…I need to make sure you’re okay.”

“Yeah, hyung,” Jungkook agrees. “We can go together, but I want to see her alone.” He thinks it’s a fair compromise.

“We’ll be waiting right outside the whole time,” Namjoon continues, oddly repetitive, and it Jungkook feels bemused. “So, whatever she says, whatever she tells you, we can talk about it, okay? Promise me?”

Jungkook huffs out a soft laugh. “Yeah hyung, of course.”

And then Seokjin reaches forward, pulling Jungkook into a tight hug. “She can’t touch you, and she can’t hurt you anymore. Remember that. You have all of us behind you, all of us who love you.”

Jungkook hugs him back, just as tight. “I know hyung.”

But he can’t keep his promise. He’s supposed to meet with Seokjin and Namjoon before he goes to see his umma, but he only lasts until an hour before they’d agreed to meet before he can’t hold out any longer. It’s too difficult, waiting. He doesn’t know if he has that luxury right now, not with Minseok’s presence looming over him.

So he’s alone, walking through the Palace corridors, pushing open the glass door to the courtyard and stepping into the humid air. He finds his umma sitting at one of the tables, eyes closed, head tilted back in the sunlight. There is an empty mug and a magazine on the table in front of her.

He approaches, and her eyes slowly open. “Jungkook.”

She is exactly as he’d always remembered her, but at the same time, everything is different. She is so much smaller than him now, petite, delicate. She looks older too, wrinkles at the corners of her eyes and mouth, hair greying, eyes tired.

“Umma,” he greets, and he sits when she motions to the chair opposite her. “I heard you wanted to talk to me. What are you doing here?”

“I live here now,” she tells him, and she’s staring at him with wide eyes, like she’s drinking in his appearance. He shifts in his seat, uncomfortable.

“I know that,” Jungkook tells her. “But why here? Why the Palace?”

“Where else would I go?” she asks, amused.

“The Omega Centre,” Jungkook says promptly. He doesn’t remember his umma having any special moon magic; in fact, he can’t remember her using any moon magic at all. It’s odd that she would be given a place to live here without it.

“I can’t go there,” his umma tells him, laughing throatily. “I’d die within a week if I left this place.”

Jungkook frowns. “You’re sick?”

“Sick?” she repeats. “I suppose I am. I’ve been sick for a long time, since before you were even born.”

Jungkook’s confused. “What are you talking about? Is this why you wanted to talk to me? To guilt me into seeing you because you’re dying?” Because guilty is not what he feels, he knows that much at least. There are turbulent emotions warring inside him, but guilt is not one of them.

“No,” his umma says. “But…yes. I have a lot to tell you, and my sickness is part of it. Maybe it will give you some answers. But I wanted you here so that I could warn you. Minseok is in the City.”

Jungkook doesn’t react. His umma raises an eyebrow.

“You don’t look surprised. Did Seokjin tell you?”

Jungkook digests that piece of information. “No,” he says. “I found out through someone else. I’m going to kill him.”

His umma blinks, and then a smile breaks across her face so wide that Jungkook almost flinches from it. “Really?” she breathes. “Make sure it hurts. Make sure he feels pain, when he dies. Make sure it is slow, drawn-out, agonizing.”

And then Jungkook says, “Is Minseok my abeoji?”

It stops his umma in her tracks, and the smile slowly fades from her face. “What?”

“Is Minseok my abeoji?” he repeats. He’d always wondered, after he’d seen Minseok in their tent.

“No,” his umma spits out. “Never. I’d never let him father a pup in me. I made damn sure of that.”

Jungkook pauses. “He wanted to?” he guesses.

His umma laughs then, sharp and mean. “What, you wanted Minseok to be your abeoji? You hoped for it?”

“No,” Jungkook says. It was the last thing he wanted, but it was something he’d always considered. He’d always been worried that he’d carried Minseok within him, in his make-up, in the very basis of who he was. It’s relieving to know now that it isn’t true.

“Your abeoji was someone far superior to Minseok,” his umma snaps. Her temper has flared, suddenly, and Jungkook remembers this anger from his childhood. “And they killed him for it! Am I supposed to accept that?” She turns her anger on him, and Jungkook flinches. "Am I supposed to accept that my son went and joined a pack with a family of murderers?”

Jungkook stares, lips parted. He doesn’t understand what she’s saying. She sounds as crazed as she did on the nights where she drank too much, when she used to tell him she wished he had never been born. “Umma, what…? What are you talking about?”

She’s crying now, and she wipes angrily at her face. “You don’t know anything! You got to live your life so easily, without knowing anything about what was really happening around you. Fine, you want to know what I’m doing here? I’m in the Palace because I don’t have any moon magic, Jungkook. It was taken from me, and now I’m at a point that without the work of the Mages, I’d die. If I step out of this building, it’s a death sentence. That’s why I’m here.”

Jungkook’s throat constricts; it is suddenly very difficult to breathe. “When? How? Why?”

She huffs out a scathing laugh, but the tears have stopped. “Because I was supposed to be force bonded to Minseok. It was before you were born. I was only seventeen.”

Jungkook swallows heavily. “But you weren’t. Force bonded to him, I mean.” That was Jungkook’s defining quality in his pack, after all. His lack of an appa.

“No,” his umma scoffs. “I wasn’t. But that doesn’t mean they didn’t try. I was supposed to mate Minseok, it was decided when I was thirteen. And I accepted that, because I didn’t know any better. But meeting your abeoji…” She’s looking away from Jungkook now, reminiscing, unfocused. “I met him one day, out in the forest. He was from the City, but he didn’t want that life. He wanted to be free, out in the forest; that’s all he ever wanted. And I knew that I could give that to him. He wasn’t like Minseok, or any of the other alphas in the pack. He was kind, gentle, beautiful. And after I met him, my life…suddenly I could see beyond our pack. I loved him, Jungkook. I loved your abeoji with my whole entire heart. I gave him everything, all of me. And he gave me you.”

“Me?” Jungkook asks, a whisper.

She turns to him them, pulling something out of the pocket of her robes. She unfolds it, staring down at it, and then hands the photograph to Jungkook. “Your appa.”

He sucks in a sharp breath. This is his appa, there is no mistaking it. It’s as if Jungkook is staring at a picture of himself, with the barest hints of a difference; a slightly different angle of his eyes, a slightly different curve of his nose. Other than that, Jungkook looks identical to this man.

“Who is he?” Jungkook croaks. He stares at those golden eyes, the ones his appa gave to him. He cannot be such a freak if his appa had these eyes too. “What’s his name?”

“Kim Sungwon,” his umma tells him, and Jungkook mouths the name, commits it to memory. He wonders who is appa is, where he came from.

When he thinks he can speak without his voice breaking, he asks, “What happened? Who…who killed him? Why did he die?”

His umma stares at him, gaze flickering between Jungkook and the picture, and then she sits back in her seat.

“To understand that, you need to understand exactly what was going on in our pack,” she continues. “The pack hated him, your abeoji; they hated what he represented. But they couldn’t do anything about him, not with the power that came with his lineage. So they decided to take me away from him. If I could no longer be mated, he wouldn’t have a reason to stay with our pack. The omegas got together, and they tore my moon magic from me. I have nothing left; I can’t feel it anymore. They thought your abeoji wouldn’t want me anymore, and they thought I’d submit and go mate with Minseok. But I would never do that, never.”

“Umma…”

“I was supposed to leave the pack, with him. We were going to go off on our own, maybe find another pack that would accept us. But whatever we decided, we knew that we would live together, and be happy, and love each other because that’s what two people do when they love each other. All I wanted was to be with him. All I wanted was to live a happy life together, with him, with you,” she stops for a moment, like the emotion overwhelms her, but then goes on. “I got pregnant, and he was called back to the City by his brother, and he died. His brother killed him. And I couldn’t leave our pack anymore, because if I left the protection of our pack, his brother would kill you too.”

“Umma, what?” Jungkook feels like he’s falling down a very big abyss, into a deep darkness. He’s so lost, he’s so confused, what is his umma saying? “Who is his brother? Why would he do that?”

She leans forward, opening the magazine to another photograph that’s stuck between the pages. She pulls it out, and gives it to Jungkook. It’s a picture of two pups, and Jungkook recognizes his appa, though he is much younger now. He’s smiling wide, and next to him stands an older boy, this one unsmiling, eyes a deep brown so dark they are almost black.

Jungkook feels like this second face is familiar, but he cannot place it. “Who is this?”

“His brother,” his umma tells him. She flips the magazine around, and slides it across the table so that Jungkook can stare down at the same wolf, now in his mid-age. His breath catches. “Kim Sungho, our Head Alpha.”

“Appa was…his brother?”

“Yes,” she says, and Jungkook’s mind stutters to a halt. “He was the second-born son to the previous Head Alpha. His brother is Kim Sungho, the current Head Alpha, and that makes him an uncle to Kim Namjoon, your little friend.” She spits that last part out, and Jungkook looks back down at the picture of the Head Alpha. Namjoon resembles his appa, but the eyes are a jarring difference.

“Your appa was killed by his own brother, and you’re here joining a pack with the son of the man who made you fatherless,” his umma accuses. “He made me mateless. He condemned me to a life in a pack that stripped me of my moon magic. You’re betraying your abeoji, Jungkook. You’re an insult to his memory.”

It feels like a slap to the face. “Namjoon-hyung saved my life.”

“And he’ll turn around and stab you in the back,” his umma tells him. “I promise you, you can’t trust him. Did he ever tell you about his abeoji? Did he ever tell you that he’s going to be the next Head Alpha?”

Jungkook doesn’t answer, but his umma reads the discomfort in his face.

“Exactly,” she says. “You can’t trust him, because his position as Head Alpha is always going to come first. That’s always going to matter more to him than you. He only kept you close so that he could keep an eye on you. The minute you threatened his position as Head Alpha, he would have to kill you.”

And Jungkook can’t process that, so he doesn’t let himself consider it. “Is that what appa wanted?” Jungkook croaks out. “To be Head Alpha?”

His umma shakes her head. “No, never. It’s like I said, all he ever wanted was to leave the City and live in the forest. It didn’t stop his brother from killing him, though. Because Kim Sungho has never wanted his position as Head Alpha to be contested, and his son is the exact same.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “You don’t know him,” he tells her. “You don’t know Namjoon-hyung like I do.”

“I know enough,” his umma says. She looks at him, from across the table, scorn clear in her gaze. “He’s never told you about his father, or about becoming Head Alpha. He also knows about your appa, and about what his abeoji did. Has Namjoon ever mentioned that?”

No, Jungkook thinks. He doesn’t answer.

A smile curls at the corners of his umma’s lips. “I think you’re the one who doesn’t know him,” she laughs. “He didn’t tell you, because then you would know that you have an equal claim to become Head Alpha. And you can become Head Alpha, Jungkook. After all, what are two more deaths if you’re already committed to the first kill. To the murder of Minseok?”

Jungkook jolts in his seat. “Kill him?” Kill Namjoon?

His umma nods. “He’s going to have to kill you anyway,” she tells him. “Now you know, and now you’re a threat. It’s always been the way of the Head Alphas. Look at our history, Jungkook – has the Head Alpha ever had an alpha sibling?”

Jungkook’s tongue darts out, swipes at his bottom lip. “But Namjoon-hyung isn’t my brother.”

His umma waves a hand dismissively. “It doesn’t matter,” she tells him. “Because your eyes are gold, a much more brilliant gold than Namjoon’s.”

“So?”

“So you got them from your father,” she says. “You won’t find this in any of our history books, Jungkook, because once the Head Alpha’s family started losing their golden eye colour, they decided it was better to wipe that fact out of our history completely. But the First Alpha’s eyes were gold, and so were the eyes of all of his decedents. There hasn’t been an alpha with golden eyes in over two hundred years, but then your abeoji was born. He was always a threat to Kim Sungho, because those golden eyes meant he was supposed to be Head Alpha. They meant he was the superior choice. And now, it’s the same. I saw Namjoon’s eyes; he’s a good alpha, but he isn't you.”

☽

Seokjin watches Namjoon pace back and forth along the main entrance of the Palace, agitated, tense, nervous. Seokjin feels the same way; something is affecting their bond, echoing through the moon magic that connects them.

“Where do you think he is?” Seokjin asks, for the millionth time, checking his phone to see if Jungkook has responded to any of his messages. Namjoon lifts his head, but he isn’t looking at Seokjin – he’s looking beyond him, and Seokjin turns around.

It’s the sound of rapid footsteps that first alerts Seokjin to Jungkook’s arrival; a minute later, the younger alpha is brushing passed him, up to Namjoon, shoving at the older alpha’s chest.

“Why did you never tell me?!”

Seokjin gapes, watching Jungkook shove at Namjoon over and over and over again. Namjoon does nothing to stop the attacks, stumbling backwards, and Seokjin hurries over, tries to grip onto Jungkook’s arms. “Jungkookie, what are you doing?”

He’s breathing erratically, like he’s run all the way to meet them, and Seokjin’s heart stops at the sight of tears in his eyes, clinging to his lower lashline. “Why did you never tell me who my father was?”

Seokjin’s eyes widen. “You spoke to your umma without us.”

Jungkook nods; he’s not shoving Namjoon anymore. “That was my right, if I wanted to talk to her on my own,” he rounds on Namjoon. “Just like it was my right to know about my appa!”

Namjoon rubs at his chest, exhaling. “She told you, huh?”

“It’s true?” Jungkook asks, incredulous. He’s staring at Namjoon like he doesn’t recognize him.

“That depends on what your umma told you,” Namjoon says, and Jungkook scoffs. He looks rattled to his core, anger and distrust and hurt simmering just beneath his skin.

“What, you want me to tell you so that you can contradict it? Tell me she’s wrong?” Jungkook fights out of Seokjin’s hold. “What’s with all the fucking secrets? Why are you lying to me?”

Namjoon’s expression cracks; he swallows heavily. “I should have told you last, before you met with your umma,” he says then. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first.”

“You should have told me when we first met!” Jungkook fires back. Seokjin reaches out for him, but he backs away from the omega too. “You should have told me the moment you recognized me, the moment you knew!” His chest is heaving with each breath. “Are we cousins?”

Seokjin watches, glancing between the two alphas as silence falls between them. Namjoon’s expression looks like it’s cut from stone, but it is purely defensive. He’s trying to be the voice of reason to Jungkook’s fire, trying to bring the younger alpha back to them. “Yes,” he says, finally. “Your abeoji and my appa are brothers.”

Jungkook’s face crumples; something seems to break apart deep inside him. “Your appa killed mine,” he says, voice thinner, like it’s pulled out of him. “Your appa is the reason all this shit happened to me. And you knew, you always knew, and you never said anything to me.” His voice catches. “I trusted you.”

And then Namjoon’s expression fractures; he reaches for Jungkook but the younger alpha steps back, out of his touch. “You can still trust me, Jungkook,” he says, pleading now, and Seokjin watches this all, helpless, like it’s passing him by without him being able to do anything to stop it. “I swear, you can always trust me. Everything I did, I did it for you.”

“How can I believe that?” Jungkook asks, and Namjoon shakes his head.

“How can you not believe it?” He snaps back. “Jungkook, you promised me that we could talk about it.”

“That was before I found out you lied to me,” Jungkook bellows, and Namjoon’s stunned into silence. “I can’t take that hyung, not from you!”

“Bunny…” Seokjin whispers, and Jungkook rounds on him.

“Did you know?” He asks. “Did you know about my abeoji? You already knew about Minseok, and didn’t tell me, so did you know about this too?”

Seokjin feels tears fill his eyes. “Yes.”

Jungkook scoffs, looking away, disgusted. “You both lied to me. You both shoved me into the dark, and took away my choice. I don’t…” he exhales, noisily, like maybe he’s trying not to cry. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

He spins in place, moving towards the door of the Palace, and he doesn’t stop, not even when Seokjin calls after him. He inhales, shakily, turning a wet gaze on Namjoon. “What have we done?”

☾

“I was so used to you being here that it felt strange to be alone in my apartment the last few days,” Jimin tells him, letting Jungkook into his apartment. He heads back over to the living room, where he’s folding a pile of clean laundry. “How was work?”

“Fine,” Jungkook says. He follows after Jimin, and before the omega can move further Jungkook wraps his arms around Jimin from behind, burrowing into the back of his neck.

“Kkyu?” Jimin asks, hand coming up to settle on top of Jungkook’s own. He sounds amused, surprised. “What’s wrong?”

“I got into a fight with Namjoon-hyung,” he says, voice muffled into Jimin’s neck. It’s not even an option anymore, lying to Jimin. He knows how painful that is now.

“Oh,” Jimin exhales, and then he wiggles in Jungkook’s hold so that he can turn around and face him. He cups Jungkook’s face in his hands. “Are you okay?”

Jungkook shrugs, looking down, not meeting Jimin’s gaze. “I don’t know.”

“That’s okay,” Jimin reassures him. “It was a stupid question anyway. Of course you’re not okay.” Jungkook looks up, and Jimin offers him a small smile. “What did you fight about?”

And here, Jungkook’s stomach clenches. “It was about my…my umma.”

“Your umma?” Jimin asks, evidently confused. “What about her?”

Jungkook swallows, and he wishes he could tuck his face back into Jimin’s neck. It was always safe there. “Seokjin-hyung and Namjoon-hyung found her. She’s…she’s living at the Palace.”

“What?” Jimin breathes. His smile is gone now, replaced with shock. “Jungkook, I don’t…what’s going on? I mean, you’ve never mentioned your family before, I just assumed…”

“My appa is dead,” Jungkook tells him. He realizes he’s doing a really bad job at explaining this to Jimin, but he can’t help it. His mind is a mess, and he doesn’t want to settle on any one thought for too long because it feels like it might yank him down, drown him beneath the weight of what it all meant. What he had to do.

“But your umma,” Jimin says. “She was alive, all this time, right? Then why did you never go back to her?”

Jungkook feels nauseous. The feeling is worse than when Taehyung had told his hyungs about what had happened in that field, and it’s worse than when he’d seen the face of his wolf in the reflection of the glass at the hospital. His mouth opens and closes, but nothing comes out.

“Jungkook,” Jimin says suddenly, seriously, but Jungkook cannot make out Jimin’s face through his blurry vision. The tears cling to his lashes, wet and sticky, like they are teetering on the edge of a steep cliff. And then Jungkook ducks his head, shutting his eyelids tight, and the tears fall, twin trails down his cheeks. His breath hitches, faint, tiny.

“Jungkook,” Jimin says again, softer now, ducking down a little bit so that he can meet Jungkook’s gaze, cupping his face and wiping Jungkook’s tears with his thumbs. “Your fight with Namjoon-hyung is really bothering you, huh?”

The knot in Jungkook’s chest tightens. “His abeoji killed my appa.”

Jimin inhales sharply, hands going limp, falling to Jungkook’s shoulders. “What?” he whispers.

“All this time,” Jungkook continues. “I thought my appa was just some random wolf that passed through our pack, or maybe it was…it was someone in our pack, someone my umma didn’t want me to know about, but it turns out I don’t have an appa because of Namjoon-hyung’s abeoji. Everything – everything – would have been different if he lived.”

Jimin’s lips are parted, and he stares up at Jungkook. “I don’t understand,” he says finally, and Jungkook’s hands drop from his waist. “Jungkook, no, just,” Jimin follows him as Jungkook turns away, pulling on his arm. “Explain this to me. I want to help.”

“It’s a mess, Jimin,” Jungkook tells him, still trying to pull away, tears still stubbornly falling. “My life, how I grew up, who I am now – it’s all a mess. It didn’t have to be this way, if my appa had lived. Maybe then my umma would have been happy. Maybe then she would have loved me.”

His voice catches in his throat, thick, painful, and he turns to look at Jimin, who hasn’t let him go. The omega looks stunned; lips parted as puffs of air escape a little too quickly.

“How can you help me, angel?” he asks, voice breaking in the middle. It’s not even rhetorical; he hopes Jimin has an answer.

“I…I don’t know,” Jimin says. “But Jungkook, no matter what happened to your abeoji, your umma should have loved you regardless. You know that, right?”

Jungkook shakes his head, renewing his effort to pull himself from Jimin’s tight hold. “You’re not getting it Jimin!”

“What am I not getting?” Jimin asks, breathless from holding Jungkook back, pulling on Jungkook’s arm. “Explain it to me!”

“It’s all my fault!” Jungkook snaps, and with one last pull they both go down, Jungkook falling hard to the floor, Jimin falling into his lap. He sits up, intent on wiggling out of Jimin’s hold again, but the omega sits astride him, looking down at Jungkook with fire burning in his eyes and Jungkook feels the fight die inside him so quickly it’s as if it was never there to begin with.

“It’s not your fault,” Jimin tells him. He sounds angry now, angry and indignant. “Your umma, whatever she was like, whatever she did to you, it’s not your fault. If she chose not to love you, that is definitely not your fault, Jungkook.”

“But it is,” Jungkook argues. He wants to disagree with Jimin so that the omega can tell him all the ways he is wrong. “My umma was forced to stay in our pack instead of leaving because she was pregnant with me. And after I was born, she had to stay in our pack to protect me from Namjoon-hyung’s abeoji, because he would have killed me too. Every bad thing that happened to my umma, it was because she was protecting me.”

Jimin shakes his head. He pulls Jungkook to his chest, and oh, Jungkook realizes, the tears have escaped again. He wraps two arms around Jimin’s waist, burrowing into the omega’s chest, and Jimin wraps his arms around his shoulders, cupping the back of his head. “It’s not your fault,” he says again, firmly. “Kkyu, your umma, she had a responsibility to you, because she’s your umma. All those bad things that happened, it wasn’t you, so stop saying that. I won’t let you keep blaming yourself for being born. I’m happy you were born, I’m glad you were born. If your umma is going to blame you for everything she went through, then she hardly deserves to be called an umma at all. You don’t need her, and she’s not your family. I am. Your hyungs are. Taehyung is your brother. This is the family you can build for yourself.”

Jungkook tightens his arms around Jimin’s waist, and he feels Jimin sigh, running his fingers through Jungkook’s hair. Jimin’s words, they sound so nice, and Jungkook wanted so desperately to believe them. But his umma had done everything to protect him; how could Jungkook not owe her for that?

“I want to be a family,” he says, voice muffled into Jimin’s shirt.

“Huh?” Jimin asks, pulling back so that he can look down at Jungkook’s tear-stained face.

“I want to be a family,” Jungkook says again. “So there’s something I need to do first, in order to become one. I already told Taehyung, but…he said I should tell you too. So that you know, and so that you can protect yourself in case…just in case.”

Jimin frowns. “Jungkook, what are you talking about?”

“I found out who was behind the attacks on Taehyung,” he says. “It’s someone from my birth pack. Minseok.”

Jimin blinks. “As in, your teacher?”

Jungkook’s breath stutters. “Yes.”

“And now Yejun will arrest him, right? To face the Head Alpha?”

“No,” Jungkook shakes his head. “I’m going after him. I’m…angel, I’m going to kill him.”

Jimin blinks. “Kkyu, what…?”

“It’s the only way to keep you safe, to keep Taehyung safe,” Jungkook says urgently. “Jimin, if there was really any other way I’d choose it, but you don’t know Minseok like I do.”

Jimin looks doubtful. “I don’t want you to get hurt,” he says quietly.

Jungkook shakes his head. “Jimin, I can’t wait any longer. Even now, he could be coming after you.”

“Me?”

“He set up the attack at Taehyung’s apartment,” Jungkook explains. “The only way he could have known where Taehyung lived is if he had access to the database, or someone with access gave him that information. And angel, your picture is right there on Taehyung’s file. They could come for you next.”

“But why?” Jimin asks, nonplussed. “I was never human.”

“It’s not just beta hate crimes,” Jungkook tells him. “That would never be enough for Minseok. He wants alpha supremacy. Jimin, you’re an unbonded omega with strong moon magic. Alpha supremacy depends on the subjugation of omegas.”

Jimin swallows. “You’re talking about kidnapping,” he says faintly. “Omega trafficking. I hear whispers about it, in the Palace sometimes, but I never thought…I didn’t think to be worried about it.” And then he cups Jungkook’s face in his hands. “But why does it have to be you?” he asks, upset. “Jungkook, why can’t someone else do it? Why do you have to be the one to kill Minseok?”

“Because no one knows how he thinks,” Jungkook says. “I learned from him, Jimin. I’m his student. He gave me these,” he takes Jimin’s hand, places it on his side, just over his scars. “And now I need to return the favour. I need to strike him first, before he has the chance to attack me. And in order to do that, I need to know that you’re safe, that you’re out of harm’s way.”

Jimin is silent, thumbs stroking Jungkook’s cheeks. “Okay,” he whispers, finally. “But you have to come back to me, Kkyu.”

“I will,” Jungkook promises. “When I see you again, I’ll look into your eyes and tell you how much I’ve missed you. We haven’t even said goodbye and I already miss you.”

Jimin lets out a watery laugh, and then he kisses Jungkook, soft and sweet. “Don’t take your ring off.”

“Never,” Jungkook vows.

He spends the night in Jimin’s apartment, carrying the omega to bed and crawling on top of him, bringing Jimin to peaks of pleasure with his hands, his mouth, his words.

“Angel,” he breathes, over and over again into Jimin’s ear, like a promise.

Everything is slow – Jungkook is still learning – but it is all the better for it. Jungkook draws pleasure out of Jimin the same way he puts melodies to his piano; soft when it needs to be, moving slow, fast, slow again, building up to a crescendo. And then Jimin rolls them over and presses kisses to Jungkook’s black scars again, hands and mouth making Jungkook’s mind white-out until he forgets everything except the taste of Jimin on his tongue.

And then, in the morning, he leaves Jimin’s apartment to face down the darkest demon he’s ever carried with him.

☽

Sunder (v.) – to break apart or in two; to separate by or as if by violence or by intervening time or space

Chapter Text

It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.

Charles Dickens, ‘A Tale of Two Cities’

☾

“…Golden Closet has always been an escape for me. It’s been a way for me to tell my story, without worrying about who might be listening. Or at least, that’s what it was supposed to be.

I guess I’ve always worried what you might think of me, if I really told the truth. If I really told my story. Talking about what happened at the orphanage, and what happened after, that’s easy. Because I learned that what happened wasn’t my fault, and I…I was a victim.

But to talk about things that came before…it never felt right. I feel like I can’t do it. Because then I’d have to talk about the things I did, the hurt I caused, the pain I made others feel. I wasn’t a victim; not then. I don’t think anyone would like me very much if they heard about those things.

That’s what I used to think, anyway. I still kind of think like that, but my angel told me to take his hand, that he’d show me a different way. And maybe, with this, I can start to tell you my story piece by piece. Little by little. The story I’ll tell you is sad, I won’t lie. There is loss, heartbreak, death. I might cry as I tell it, and you might even cry for me. I will not say such an obvious thing as ‘have strength’. So here it is; I will tell you the story of my life…”

☽

The hallways of the Palace are dimly lit, the faint yellow lights reminiscent of the oil lamps that used to line the cream walls with dark wood wainscoting. The sun has already set, and Jungkook shouldn’t be allowed into the Palace, not at this time, but the Mage he speaks with makes an exception anyway. Perhaps it is Jungkook’s palpable desperation, perhaps it is the way his voice shakes when he pleads let me speak to my umma . Perhaps it is his golden eyes, because the Mage peers into them for a second too long before she lets him go.

The courtyard is not the same one he found his umma in the last time he spoke with her, but he doesn’t care to take in the differences except for the ones that matter: the quiet of the night, the moon shining onto his umma’s face, the shadows that linger in the corners of the room.

“Why are you back?”

Jungkook’s not really sure.

“I have a question.”

His umma seems amused by this. “You stopped asking me questions about the same time that you started your alpha training. I thought I’d gotten rid of that horrible habit.”

Jungkook meets her gaze. His questions had never stopped, they had only found a new source of information – Seokjin.  Still, it doesn’t dull the sharpness of his umma’s words.

“Well?” she snaps. She sounds less patient now. “What is it?”

“Why did our pack never try to kill me before my alpha trials? Why did they wait?” Jungkook can’t stop thinking about it. “They could have handed me over to the Head Alpha when I was a pup. It’s not like you would have stopped them.”

His umma purses her lips, and she doesn’t deny it. “The only person our pack hated more than you was the Head Alpha,” she says then. “They hated you because you were not Minseok’s pup, but they hated you even more because of the bloodline that you represented.”

“Then why did you never tell me?” Jungkook asks. Why did everyone always lie to him? “It would have made it so much more bearable, if I knew why they treated me like that.”

“Would it have?” his umma asks uncaringly. She shrugs. “I don’t believe that.”

“Why not?”

“Because your appa was a good man,” she tells him. “And you can’t afford to be.”

“Why…why not?” Jungkook asks. Good is maybe too far a reach for someone like Jungkook, but there are other things he could be. Other things that would make him like his appa.

He was kind, gentle, beautiful.

“If you had known your appa, you would have wanted to be like him,” his umma says. “He would have been your hero. You would have wanted to be kind, to be gentle, to be the alpha that he was. But without his story hanging over you, you instead became the alpha that you needed to be.”

“How could you possibly know that?” Jungkook asks, incredulous. “You’re only guessing.”

“I made your life hard,” his umma continues. “So that you would turn hard too. So that weakness would be stamped out of you. You faced every hardship, you lost Seokjin when you needed him most, you were chased from our pack and almost killed. All of these things made you into what you are today. They made you into the weapon you need to be to kill the Head Alpha.”

Jungkook’s breath catches. The silence that falls into the courtyard is suffocating, heavy, dragging Jungkook into a downward spiral from which he cannot escape.

“What?” he whispers.

“You realize that you have to kill him, don’t you?” his umma asks. She’s looking over at Jungkook now, like he’s disappointed her. “Head Alpha took everything from me, from you. He will continue to do so, unless you stop him. Our world only exists as a constant tug-of-war between giving and taking. Head Alpha will continue to take from you as long as you let him, as long as you keep giving him what he wants.”

“What does he want?”

His umma smiles again, condescending, patronizing. “To kill you. But I already told you that, didn’t I?”

☾

Out of all the things that have changed in Hoseok’s life since Taehyung moved into his apartment, he thinks that he should be more bothered by the fact that every date night with Yoongi now includes Taehyung too.

The beta had been reluctant, initially, trying to insist that he was fine with being alone for a few hours, hyung, don’t worry . But Hoseok was worried. He always worried. It is both a blessing and a failing; it means Hoseok can shower his friends with the love they deserve, but it also means he ends up getting a bit too involved in his friends’ lives. It was why he read Jungkook’s file, after all.

He expects Yoongi to have a problem with it, Taehyung’s presence on their dates, but somehow it doesn’t surprise him how unbothered the older alpha is at the beta’s company. Maybe Yoongi would have been more bothered if Taehyung had been anyone else, but somehow the beta seems to slot in perfectly; he’s calm, rational, peaceful and fits with Yoongi; he’s energetic, playful, jocose and fits with Hoseok. He’s Kim Taehyung, a piece of their puzzle that Hoseok didn’t realize was missing until he finally got to the end.

Taehyung is also really disappointed in the two alphas when he figures out exactly what their date nights entail.

“Taehyung, why are you looking at us like that?” Hoseok asks, taking a seat on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. Next to him, Yoongi is flipping through the options on Netflix, but he pauses and glances towards Taehyung too.

“Oh my god,” Taehyung says disbelievingly. He looks down at the bowl of popcorn, then at the TV, then at Hoseok’s mismatched socks and back at the pair of alphas. “When you said you were going to have a date, I was thinking something like…a little sexier? You know, candlelit dinner? Roses and chocolate? Maybe even some wine?”

“What’s wrong with a night in?” Yoongi objects. “We’re all safer here, it’s still fun, and I don’t have to get dressed.”

“Oh my god,” Taehyung says again, inexplicably. And then Hoseok turns to glance at Yoongi, and he can’t help the laughter that bubbles up at the offended look on the older alpha’s face.

“Taehyung, we’re all safer together,” Hoseok says then, shooting the beta an amused glance. Taehyung still looks mildly horrified. “Hyung is right. Besides, this is how Yoongi-hyung and I have always been.”

Taehyung raises both eyebrows, and the look on his face seems like it’s supposed to be meaningful but Hoseok doesn’t get it.

“Alright, you both obviously need so much help,” Taehyung decides. “And lucky you, I’m just that generous. Hoseok-hyung, get up. You’re getting changed. You too Yoongi-hyung. Put on something nice, because we’re going to a club.”

“A club?” Yoongi repeats, already shooting the idea down. “I don’t think that’s safe.”

“I don’t care,” Taehyung replies. “This is more pressing right now. I need to save your relationship.”

Yoongi gapes, but Hoseok can’t help but laugh again, reaching for the remote and switching the TV off. “C’mon hyung,” he wheedles. “Taehyungie’s got a point. Let’s have some fun. We’ve been cooped up in here too long, we deserve it.”

“I…I don’t know,” Yoongi says, still uneasy, chewing on his bottom lip.

Hoseok reaches for it, tugging on his bottom lip until Yoongi lets go. And then Hoseok leans forward to kiss him. “We’ll be fine. Taehyung will be fine. We’re doing this together, aren’t we?”

“Right,” Yoongi breathes, finally convinced, or maybe a little more willing to do what Hoseok wants. Hoseok pushes himself up from the couch, moving over to Taehyung to take him by the hand. 

“You get to pick out what I’m wearing,” he tells the beta, pulling Taehyung along with him.

The club they end up at is owned by one of Taehyung’s friends who looks like a model and tells them not to worry about their drinks for the night.

“You’re protecting Taehyung-ah,” she says. “That means more to me than anything else. Enjoy your night, boys.”

And then Hoseok feels himself slip back into the thrill and excitement that rushes through him everytime he goes out, when he gets to dance, when he’s three shots in, a little sweaty, a little pink, and adoring the feeling of strong hands gripping his hips.

But these are Yoongi’s hands now, and Hoseok loves it.

Taehyung keeps trying to give them privacy, for some stupid reason that he tries to explain over the booming bass, but Hoseok doesn’t let him go far. He tugs on Taehyung’s shirt, keeping him so close they’re pressed up to each other, a line of heat from chest to hips. Taehyung smells amazing like this, musky sweat mixed in and deepening his scent. His curled hair tickles Hoseok’s skin, and a soft noise escapes Hoseok’s throat when Taehyung’s bumped from behind and the length of his body presses even tighter against Hoseok. He doesn’t realize Yoongi’s taken a step back until he hears his voice.

“Taehyung was right,” Yoongi says, observing. His gaze is fixated on them, heated, satisfied. “That’s really hot.”

Hoseok looks over at him, wrapped up in Taehyung, and then looks back to the beta. Taehyung’s watching him, eyes dark, lips wet, and Hoseok feels want shoot through him. It’s the same attraction he felt the night he met Taehyung, the day he told Taehyung about his feelings for Yoongi, and all the days that have passed since. It’s never left, and sometimes Hoseok wonders if he sees the same want for Taehyung in Yoongi’s eyes too.

Hoseok’s gaze lingers on Taehyung’s lips, and then he flickers his gaze back up to meet the beta’s eyes. Taehyung exhales, breath fanning across Hoseok’s skin, and then he shoots a quick glance at Yoongi.

“Go on,” Yoongi murmurs, deeply pleased. “I know you both want to. Show me. Let me see.”

A small noise escapes the back of Taehyung’s throat, a little desperate, a little weak, and Hoseok closes the distance, kissing those red lips, sinking into the heat of Taehyung’s body. It’s hot, and it’s even hotter knowing that Yoongi is watching them. Hoseok pulls back, and Taehyung licks his lips, eyes dark and pupils blow, but he still snaps another glance to Yoongi, like he’s looking for approval.

And then Yoongi wraps one arm around Hoseok’s waist, reaching for Taehyung with the other, cupping his jaw and pulling Taehyung forward and kissing him.

Hoseok watches, lips parted, because it was so hot . He likes having Yoongi pressed up behind him, and he likes having Taehyung close enough to drown in his minty scent. He likes the way Taehyung teases Yoongi, and he likes the way Taehyung always listens to him so seriously, like whatever Hoseok tells him is valuable, important, meaningful. He likes it when it’s the three of them together, and he doesn’t want that to change.

And maybe Taehyung and Yoongi feel the same way, because they hardly leave each other’s sides the rest of the night. Hoseok steps away from Yoongi and Taehyung only to go to the restroom, pausing for a moment to turn back and watch the pair; Taehyung’s regained some of his confidence now, dancing with the older alpha. And as much as Yoongi tries to look unaffected, Hoseok spots the flush of flustered pink high on his cheekbones as Taehyung slides one smooth hand down Yoongi’s chest and then around the alpha’s waist, tugging Yoongi in closer.

He's stopped two times on his way back – once by an omega who asks him to dance and once by a beta who offers to buy him a drink – and then he finds his boys, reaching out to clasp hands with the one Taehyung has extended to him, letting the beta twirl him as he rejoins their group.

“I want to get another drink!” Taehyung has to yell to be heard over he music, and Hoseok leans in closer.

“Okay, let’s go!”

But Taehyung shakes his head. “I’ll just be a few minutes. Stay here; I’ll be right back.”

And then he’s gone, squeezing between the densely packed bodies to wiggle his way towards the bar. Yoongi pulls Hoseok to him, leaning forward to put his mouth to Hoseok’s ear.

“Where is he going?”

“To get a drink!” Hoseok pulls back, miming a shot, and Yoongi nods. The older alpha looks a little uneasy now, gaze drifting to where Taehyung had disappeared, and Hoseok tugs on his shirt. “He’ll be fine.”

But Yoongi shakes his head. “This isn’t the place for him to suddenly decide he doesn’t care about the attacks.” And then Yoongi goes to follow Taehyung’s path, and Hoseok sighs but follows too.

They make it to the bar, and for a second Hoseok is dumbfounded – Taehyung isn’t anywhere to be seen. He panics for a moment, a sharp spike of fear shooting through his scent, before Yoongi nudges him and Hoseok follows his gaze.

Taehyung has been cornered by a group of alphas; one of them is very obviously bothering Taehyung, the rest are encouraging their friend. Taehyung is studiously ignoring this, but Hoseok watches as he tries to leave only to get pushed back by one of the alphas.

At first, Hoseok thinks Taehyung is getting hit on, but then the voice of the alpha filters through the crowd, tight and mean, “ dirty beta…..human scum….know your place! ”

Yoongi moves then, lips parting to call out, but Taehyung’s voice cuts in first.

“I said, shut the fuck up ,” he snaps, finally turning to the alpha getting up in his face. “Now get out of my way, dumbass. I have two hot alphas waiting for me, why would I care what you think?”

The alpha says something Hoseok can’t hear, and then, unbelievably, Taehyung draws his fist back and punches the alpha in the face.

The alpha falls from his perch on the stool, and the rest of the alphas watch in shock, mouths agape.

“I said, shut the fuck up ,” Taehyung repeats, shaking out his hand. He brightens when he spots Hoseok and Yoongi, hurrying over before the group of alphas can react, and then Taehyung reaches for their hands. He tugs Hoseok and Yoongi along, and they push through the crowd to get to the entrance of the club. Behind them, the group of alphas have started up, noisy, angry, finally moving, finally realizing what had happened.

Taehyung’s laughing though, spirited, exuberant, looking a million times better than he’s been ever since Inner Child was vandalized. “Damn, but that felt so fucking good.”

“Tae!” Hoseok admonishes, once they’re out on the sidewalk and moving quickly away from the club in case the group of alphas decide to come after them. “You can’t just hit someone like that!”

“Sure I can,” Taehyung replies loftily. “I just did.”

“I think what Hoseok means,” Yoongi says, calmer than Hoseok. “Is that he was worried about you, about your safety. Hitting an alpha, while you’re surrounded by a group of them, it’s not the smartest move. You could’ve gotten hurt.”

“But I didn’t,” Taehyung says cheekily, but then he exhales. “I know,” he says, quieter now. “I could’ve been really hurt. I didn’t even know that you guys had come to find me. But the truth is…” he pauses, searching for the words. “The truth is that I’m tired. I’m tired of being scared all the time, just because some person out there thinks I’m worth less than them because I used to be human. That’s not true and I know that’s not true. Ever since I was bitten I’ve had to face this kind of prejudiced bullshit, and I’m tired of it. The guy who did this to me, the guy who broke into my apartment…I don’t want to be scared anymore. It’s not helping me, and it’s not solving anything. I’m done being scared.”

Hoseok stares, lips parted. “Wow.”

“What?” Taehyung asks, a little self-conscious, but Hoseok shakes his head.

“That was like, so inspiring,” Hoseok tells him. “And I feel like I’m finally getting my Taehyungie back, the Taehyung who helped me before I made the biggest mistake in my life.” A grin pushes at his cheeks, happy. “So I’m here to help you with this now, Taehyungie. Anything you need, I’m here.”

“Thanks,” Taehyung says. He still looks a little bashful, his thumb trailing over the knuckles of the hand he’d used to punch the alpha in the club. “Actually, this wasn’t all me. You have Jungkook to thank for this change.”

“Jungkook?” Yoongi repeats, surprised. “What do you mean?”

“When he came to visit,” Taehyung explains. “He told me about the investigation and he told me his plan to find the person who did this to me. And I’ve just kind of been realizing…why am I sitting back, scared, doing nothing? I mean, there’s definitely a time and a place for it, but that’s not me. I was scared, and now I don’t want to be. I want to find the person who did this to me, and I want them to know I’m not scared.”

“I’m glad you feel that way,” Yoongi says cautiously. “But this is Jungkook’s investigation with the Alpha Guard. I’m not sure how much you’re going to be able to get involved.”

Taehyung turns to them both, now, something odd in the expression on his face, and Hoseok frowns.

“This has nothing to do with the Alpha Guard,” Taehyung tells them. “Jungkook isn’t…hyungs, this is personal for him.”

Hoseok swallows, something very cold settling in his stomach, and he wants Taehyung to deny it, deny that Jungkook could be running away again. “What do you mean?” Apprehension settles just under his skin, like an uncomfortable itch.

But before Taehyung can answer, Hoseok’s phone goes off. He reaches for it – Namjoon – and picks it up, the apprehension growing deeper and heavier, turning his stomach.

“Come over. Now.” Over the phone, Namjoon’s voice is like steel, and Hoseok flinches. “Jungkook found out.”

☽

Jungkook had not visited this same stretch of road for months, not since he met Jimin again, but it’s the third time in a matter of weeks that he’s making his way back into the bar. He used to come to the bars along this stretch of road all the time, especially once he got back to the City after his years of Alpha Guard training. Yoongi used to follow him, sometimes, and Namjoon did too, but it didn’t really bother Jungkook. Eventually they just started going together. Hoseok never came, but that was only because Hoseok was uncomfortable in aggressively alpha environments.

He remembers coming to the bars with his two hyungs, right after starting the podcast, right after he really started to learn what it meant to reflect . His podcast forced him to think about what had happened to him, and so it made him think something was fucked up in the way he actively sought out these alpha places.

It’s not weird , Yoongi had said.

It’s not?

No, Namjoon tells him. It’s what you know. It’s familiar to you. The way alphas act - the way they react - you know exactly what to expect.

And Jungkook does. It’s why he has little care for what alphas think of him. There is only one word he wants alphas to say when they think of Jeon Jungkook: strong.

(Perhaps that is why he had run from Jimin. Strong is only a tiny fraction of what he wants to be in Jimin’s thoughts.)

The bar he ends up at tonight is not alpha-exclusive, but the dim lighting and lowered voices make it unwelcoming to wolves of any other rank. Jungkook has seen a beta in here maybe once or twice, always in the company of at least three other alphas. He’s never seen an omega here.

He slides into one of the bar stools, nursing a beer, and watches the pit fight on TV. He wonders if any alpha are betting on the fight tonight. Jungkook used to bet a lot, and he won a lot too. He was always good at studying alphas, at reading their behaviour. And it is the same with Minseok. There are many ways Jungkook could have chosen to go after Minseok, but there was only one way in which Jungkook could hope to gain the upper hand.

A sudden shout forces his gaze away from the TV. Further down the bar top, a group of alphas are getting agitated, voices snapping, snarling, pushing at each other. The bartender frowns, wiping down the counter, but doesn’t say anything to stop it. And Jungkook sits in his seat, eyes back on the TV; this is what he’s been waiting for.

The alphas keep pushing at one of their group until he’s forced out, snarling, but he doesn’t make a move to fight back. And then Jungkook picks up his pint, pushes himself to stand from his seat, and takes a single step back straight into the other alpha. There’s a moment of confusion; his beer falls, soaking them both - Jungkook more so than the other alpha - but the stranger still shoves at Jungkook, so hard that Jungkook stumbles back a few steps, a fierce growl on his face.

“What the fuck?”

Jungkook sets his glass on the bar top, snarling. “Watch where you’re going.”

The other alpha shoves at him again, sending Jungkook backwards, crashing into the stool behind him. “You watch it!”

“Hey!” the bartender finally calls out. “Take it outside boys.”

But Jungkook ignores him, hands reaching out to shove back, getting up in the alpha’s face, and then the other alpha’s pushing back, swinging at Jungkook and in a flash of pain he’s knocked his fist into Jungkook’s face.

“I said, hey!” the bartender calls out again. Jungkook swings at the other alpha, misses, and gets hit again, two times to the face in rapid succession. He tries once more to get a hit in, but a punch comes to his unprotected side and he doubles over.

Suddenly, they’re pulled back from each other, Jungkook tugged to the door of the bar with a hand on the back of his shirt.

“Get out of here!”

He stumbles out of the bar, once he’s thrown out, bruised and bleeding, scent overpowered by the beer soaking the front of his shirt. He blinks through the blood in his vision, tasting it on his tongue, and he staggers down the sidewalk, one hand holding his side, the other trailing against the rough brick wall to guide him.

He is the perfect bait.

He can hear them, the packless pups. He knows how they work, how they pick their next target. Jungkook appears weakened from a fight. He is bruised, bloody, powerless. He smells like alcohol, so he should be easy to tackle to the ground. If the packless pups are lucky, he might not even remember the attack tomorrow.

He tracks them, still hunched over, still pretending he is in the pain he’s long forgotten. They get closer and closer, scenting the air, just out of reach, just in the darkness of the alleyways, and then-

And then Jungkook’s arm shoots out, wraps around one of the packless pups and the rest of the group scatters, nervous, scared, gone in the blink of an eye. They retreat so quickly that the scent of their group fades with the next gust of wind. Jungkook pulls the struggling pup to his chest, straightening up now, no longer pretending to be prey.

“Get off!”

The pup looks like he’s maybe nine or ten, wide-eyed, small, smelling distinctly of pure fear. The fear in his scent is untainted; there is no antagonism or fury or violence mixed in to mask it. The pup is terrified, and the scent of it grates at Jungkook’s nose.

The omega pup is thin and skinny, underfed, underweight. Jungkook holds him easily. The differences between Jungkook when he was packless and the pup before him are far greater than the similarities. The pup barely puts up a fight, resigned already to his fate in Jungkook’s trap.

“Please, please,” the pup begs him, whimpering now. “Please don’t hurt me. I swear, I wasn’t going to do anything to you!”

“It doesn’t matter if you were,” Jungkook tells him, letting go of some of the pressure he’d used to keep hold of the pup. He doesn’t need to be so forceful; there’s no way this pup could escape him. Jungkook doubts the pup would even think to try. “You couldn’t have hurt me.”

The pup is much smaller than Jungkook, the top of his head barely reaching Jungkook’s sternum, and he won’t look Jungkook in the eye.

“Hey,” Jungkook says, more gently now. He tries to aim for soothing but he probably misses it by a mile. Jungkook has no experience with pups, and he’s not really comforting by nature. “What’s your name?”

The pup doesn’t answer, still glancing around like some other packless pup was going to help him. But they were all gone; they’d left him alone now that he was caught.

“My name is Jungkook,” Jungkook offers. “I used to be packless. I used to live on these streets too.”

The omega finally looks up at him, still nervous, still hesitant, but willing to listen.

“How do I know you aren’t lying?”

Jungkook hums. “You don’t. I’m not going to ask you to trust me, but I can promise you that I’m not going to hurt you.” And then he lets go of the pup.

The pup immediately takes a step back, and Jungkook lets him have the distance. It’s only the illusion of safety, after all. Jungkook could catch this pup no matter where he ran off to. But the illusion of safety gave the pup something to cling to.

The omega pup hesitates for a moment, looking up at Jungkook suspiciously. “My name is Taehyun,” he says, finally, and despite his suspicion there is something very trusting in the way he has yet to run off. He must not have been packless for very long, Jungkook thinks, or his gullible, childish innocence might be why he ended up packless in the first place. It’s not wise for Taehyun to trust an unknown like Jungkook so soon, and yet Jungkook feels his wolf awaken, interested. Pup , his wolf thinks. Protect .

Jungkook agrees. He wants to be deserving of the trust he’s shown, the trust that is given so freely.

“Taehyun,” Jungkook repeats. “Okay, Taehyun, I’m not going to hurt you. I just needed to talk with one of you, one of the packless pups.”

Jungkook could have shown Taehyun his Alpha Guard tags to make the pup agree, but he was deeply uncomfortable with the idea of terrorizing a small pup who couldn’t fight back. He’d left the tags at his apartment both because of the bar he was visiting and because he knows not a single packless pup would respond well to the sight of the Alpha Guard tags.

Taehyun looks tense, quivering with fear. “What do you want?”

“Information.”

This surprises the pup, and some of the tension seems to melt from his shoulders. “Information?”

“Yes,” Jungkook nods. “Look,” he says then. “It’s not something I want to talk about out here in the open. There’s a place further up the road that’s open twenty-four hours. Let me buy you a hot meal, and you can tell me what you know, and then we’ll go our separate ways.”

Taehyun looks hopeful at the promise of free food, still so trusting, and Jungkook doesn’t know if it’s better or worse that he managed to catch a pup so unhardened by what he’s been through, still unjaded. It makes Jungkook’s stomach churn to think about what Taehyun might endure all for being too trusting, and by the time they settle into their seats in the small restaurant, he feels relief well up inside him at how well Taehyun eats, sitting across from Jungkook, looking especially small and childlike. The tips of his shoes – barely held together by duct-tape – scrape the floor with each swing of his legs. His shirt and shorts are grimy, dirty, torn in some spots. His voice hasn’t broken yet, and it is high and childish when Taehyun finally looks up and wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand.

“What do you want to know?” he asks, after he catches Jungkook’s attention with a formal Alpha Jungkook.

“Call me hyung,” Jungkook says automatically. He wonders if this is how Namjoon felt when they first met. If so, Jungkook thinks he can maybe start to understand exactly what was going through Namjoon’s thoughts at the sight of Jungkook back then. He wonders if Namjoon recognized him immediately; he wonders if it was painful, to see his family, to see how Jungkook lived.

“Have you ever heard of an alpha named Minseok?”

And then the sharp scent of pure, unadulterated fear cuts through the air all over again. Taehyun flinches, and then looks around wildly, like he’s expecting an attack.

Jungkook frowns. “There’s nothing to be scared of.”

Taehyun’s gaze snaps back to Jungkook. “Why are you asking? I don’t know anything.”

Taehyun is an awful liar, and Jungkook disregards his obvious attempts at evasion.

“So you have heard of him.”

Taehyun sets his chopsticks down, and his hands are shaking. “There are…whispers,” Taehyun says cautiously.

“Do you know where I can find him?”

Taehyun pales so quickly he trembles on the spot, like he might faint and fall from his chair, and Jungkook realizes he’s not going about this the right way. Taehyun is so obviously terrified of Minseok that Jungkook needs to reassure him that he is different. That he is not an alpha like Minseok.

“When I was a pup,” Jungkook tells him, softening his voice and settling his scent into something much calmer. Taehyun relaxes into it, comforted as Jungkook’s scent saturates the air. “Minseok hurt me. He hurt me a lot. I know he’s doing the same thing now; I know he came here two years ago and started terrorizing the packless pups, making promises about a pack, about a family that you could become. But I also know that packless pups have been disappearing after they do whatever he tells them to. I know he’s out there, and I want to stop him.” He pauses, and Taehyun’s gaze meets his. “So, do you know where I can find him?”

Taehyun bites his bottom lip, and finally nods. “Yes,” he whispers. “I met him a few times. Please don’t say his name again.”

“I won’t,” Jungkook promises. “Can you show me where to find him? That’s all I need. I can pay you for the information.”

Taehyun’s mouth drops open, like he’s going to answer, but the words get stuck in his throat. “I…I just,” he stumbles over his words, fear still faintly souring his scent. “I can show you,” he says hesitantly.

“Thank you,” Jungkook smiles gently.

“But,” Taehyun continues. “Will you…I mean, he’s really strong, and…will you make sure he doesn’t know it was me? I don’t want him to hurt me.”

Something tightens in Jungkook’s chest; it’s the same feeling he gets right before he cries, but now it feels painful, hardened, heavy. It sinks into his stomach and his wolf is howling, snarling at him to seek revenge for this. How many pups has Minseok hurt because it’s taken Jungkook this long to stop him?

“He won’t know it was you,” Jungkook says. “I’ll protect you.” And something shifts in Taehyun’s eyes, faint hope, maybe, or trembling disbelief. It reminds Jungkook of the way he had felt when he first met Namjoon. It fills him with a deep sense of responsibility.

And then that sharp pain cuts through him again, at the thought of his hyung, and he lifts a hand to rub at his chest as if it would relieve him of the pain he feels when he thinks of Namjoon-hyung.

“The truth is,” he tells Taehyun. “I’m going to kill him, that alpha who’s terrorizing you. You won’t have to worry about him ever again.”

☾

Namjoon’s rubbing at his chest again.

Seokjin watches him; it’s the third time in the last hour he’s done it, lifting one hand without realizing it, the palm of his hand just over his heart, like maybe something was hurting him deep inside. It must be Jungkook; there are echoes of pain and heartbreak filtering through the bond that Seokjin’s moon magic provides them. Seokjin can only feel a shadow of it, but it’s apparent Namjoon is receiving the brunt of the agony. Seokjin does not know what that feels like, to be on the receiving end of Jungkook’s cries for help. He’d torn his jewelry from his body the minute he was away from their pack, all those years ago, so he’d never felt Jungkook’s pain when Seokjin had been discovered gone. Seokjin can try to imagine it, but he doesn’t ever think he’d be able to do it justice.

Now, watching Namjoon flinching and hearing the small grunts of pain he lets out every so often, Seokjin knows he’d never come close to it.

Namjoon had already called Hoseok, even though it was midnight, no longer able to cope with the pain in his chest. And so it is a pair of alphas that Seokjin expects to see when he opens the front door of Namjoon’s house; it is a small omega he greets instead.

“Jimin,” he says, startled, blinking in surprise. The smaller omega is damp from the light rain, hair flopping into his tired eyes, frowning.

“Can I come in hyung?”

Seokjin blinks again. “Um, sure,” he steps aside and closes the door behind Jimin. “What’s wrong?”

Jimin is silent for a moment, peering around the front of the house, and then he straightens up to look at Seokjin. “I was hoping that I’d find Jungkook here, actually.” His voice is quiet, measured, and he flickers his gaze to Namjoon as the older alpha makes his presence known. “I already stopped by his apartment, but he wasn’t there. I can see now he isn’t here either.”

“No,” Seokjin says slowly, wondering how much Jimin knows. “When was the last time you saw him?”

“Two nights ago,” Jimin says, still quiet, still measured. There is something distrustful in the way he looks at Namjoon. “He told me that you fought.”

Namjoon nods, tired, resigned. “Yeah, we did.”

“He told me it was about his appa.” This surprises Seokjin. “He mentioned his umma too. Hyung,” he says then, turning to Seokjin. “What exactly is going on?”

Seokjin hesitates, looking over at Namjoon, and the alpha sighs, rubbing at his chest again. “There’s no point in keeping secrets now,” he says quietly, and Jimin snaps his gaze to the alpha. “If we’re going to be a pack, then everyone needs to know the truth.”

Seokjin nods in agreement, and then startles at the sudden sound of knocking on the front door. He opens it, revealing not only the two expected alphas, but an unexpected Kim Taehyung between them.

“Tae!” Jimin exclaims, surprised, pulling the beta into Namjoon’s house. “I need to talk to you,” he says urgently, in a whisper, but everyone hears it all the same.

“Joon,” Yoongi says, stepping through the entrance way and closer to the other alpha. “What happened? How did he find out?”

Jimin turns his head at this, eyebrows furrowed.

“You told him?” Hoseok asks, also moving further into the house. The two alphas are agitated, tense, and it unsettles Seokjin. “We were supposed to do that together.”

Namjoon shakes his head. “I didn’t tell him.”

“Then how did he find out?” Yoongi asks.

“Wait,” Jimin jumps in, lips pressed together tightly. “Wait. So, you all knew? You all knew about Jungkook’s appa, and you never told him?”

Taehyung’s gaze darts between Jimin and the alphas. “Jungkook’s appa? What are you talking about?”

Namjoon exhales heavily, a weariness passing over his features. “It’s a bit of a long story,” he says. “Come on. Take a seat, it’ll take a while, and I’m sure you have questions.”

Jimin still looks conflicted, but he ultimately follows the pack, and they settle into the couches of Namjoon’s living room. Jimin and Taehyung take one couch, and Seokjin settles himself on the armrest of the chair, watching Namjoon. Hoseok takes a seat on another couch, but Yoongi remains standing, along with Namjoon. The older alpha takes a spot over by the windows, peering out into the darkness.

“I’m not sure what you already know,” Namjoon starts, addressing Jimin and Taehyung. “But it doesn’t matter now. We’re all involved at this point, and I think we all agree that we want to help Jungkook out of this mess. So we all need to hear this.”

“Jungkook’s appa,” Jimin says, both an agreement and a prompt.

“Yes,” Namjoon nods. “But first-” he moves over to the bookshelf, pulling a large tome off one of the high shelves. He flips it open in his hands, turning a few pages over, and then settles the book down on the coffee table in front of Taehyung and Jimin. “This is one of the only remaining pictures of the First Alpha.”

“What?” Jimin frowns. “Remaining? There are like…a million paintings and carvings and statues of the First Alpha.”

Namjoon shakes his head. “Those are copies.”

“Copies?” Taehyung repeats. “Why?”

“Look,” Namjoon taps at the picture with his fingertip. “Look at the eyes.”

Jimin and Taehyung both lean forward, and then Taehyung draws in a sharp breath. “They’re… gold .”

“Golden eyes are the eyes of the First Alpha and his lineage,” Namjoon tells them. “The eye colour was passed down from generation to generation, never diluted, and it always meant the same thing – power . This eye colour symbolized the rightful place of one family to rule over the entirety of the Territory.”

“I don’t understand,” Jimin says. “Why don’t we know this?”

“Because,” Namjoon says quietly. “Two hundred years ago, the first child of the First Alpha’s line was born without gold eyes. The Head Alpha at the time was furious, he thought his mate must have cheated. He did what any leader with their head so puffed up with their own importance would do; he had his mate and his child killed.”

“ Christ ,” Taehyung murmurs.

Namjoon shrugs. “It is what it is. That’s what happens when people in power get insecure. Anyway, he mated again, had another child, and…the same thing. A pup without gold eyes. At this point, the Head Alpha starts freaking out. The legitimacy of their rule had always been tied to their golden eyes. Without golden eyes, maybe some packs would start to get ideas. Maybe some Pack Alphas would start to think they could rule on their own. Maybe aPack Alpha would even try to overthrow the Head Alpha. So, he did the only thing he could do; he destroyed everything tying the Head Alpha and their family to the idea of golden eyes. Paintings were copied, and the originals destroyed. Books were changed. Anyone caught preaching about the importance of golden eyes were quietly dealt with. The goal was all the same; there are no public records left that indicate the First Alpha ever had golden eyes.”

“But…but…” Jimin swallows heavily. “But what about Jungkook?”

“I’m getting to that,” Namjoon says. “So fast forward two centuries, two centuries without golden eyes, and an alpha son is born to the Head Alpha. Everything’s fine, normal, he has dark brown eyes. But a few years later, a second alpha son is born… with gold eyes .” Namjoon pauses, gaze flickering down to the picture of the First Alpha, the picture with golden eyes. “The Head Alpha’s family always knew the truth, what golden eyes meant, but now this Head Alpha ran into a problem. Who was supposed to be his heir? Tradition says the first son, but the gold eyes says the second son. He is the first alpha in two hundred years who was born with golden eyes, after all. But this Head Alpha, he doesn’t have to make a decision right away. He has years to decide. The tradition of the Head Alpha’s family has always been to keep the heir a secret, to keep them away from the public eye so that no rogue alphas, lone wolves, or nomadic packs could kill off the heirs, the next generation.”

“So who did he pick?” Taehyung asks. “The Head Alpha, I mean.”

“He didn’t get a chance to pick,” Namjoon tells them. “He was killed in a hunting accident before he made a decision. His first son was seventeen, and his second was only twelve. So the first son ascended to the position of Head Alpha, uncertain still, the whole time, whether his claim was legitimate, or whether his brother would fight him for it when he came of age.”

“And did he?” Jimin asks.

Namjoon pauses. “Yes.”

Seokjin straightens up, lips parting in confusion. “What?”

Namjoon turns to look at him, and he tilts his head at Seokjin’s bewilderment. “Hyung, you said you knew about this already.”

“But not…not this ,” Seokjin says. “I’d always heard…I’d always been told that Jungkook’s appa didn’t want to rule.”

Namjoon frowns. “It could have been true by that point,” he says slowly. “But growing up in the Estate of the Head Alpha, the two brothers were pitted against each other. Half of the previous Head Alpha’s pack thought the oldest son should rule, the other half sided with the younger brother. Eventually they fought, the older brother won, and he exiled the younger brother from the City. He was fifteen when he left.”

“What does this all have to do with Jungkook’s appa?” Jimin asks.

“The younger brother, Kim Sungwon, is Jungkook’s appa,” Namjoon tells him. “The older brother, Kim Sungho, went on to become the Head Alpha you all know. He’s also my abeoji.”

“Wait, what ?” Taehyung exclaims. “You’re the son of the Head Alpha? You’re the heir?” He looks stunned.

“Yes,” Namjoon says simply. “Jungkook is my cousin. That makes us cousins too, Taehyung-ah.”

“ What ,” Taehyung whispers again, falling back in his seat.

Jimin looks a little paler now, but he prompts Namjoon to go on. “What happened next?”

“Sungwon returned a few years later. He’d been exiled, but with family…it’s complicated sometimes. Sungwon said he wanted to bury the hatchet and be a real family. He said he’d support my appa’s claim as Head Alpha. As far as I know, my appa accepted it at the time because he didn’t have a reason not to. My appa has just gotten mated to my umma, and he was pretty forgiving to his brother, especially because I heard that my umma wanted the brothers to get along. She wanted a big family. So then, uh…” Namjoon trails off, suddenly, and Seokjin thinks that it might be his bond with Jungkook again except Namjoon isn’t rubbing at his chest.

Yoongi is there, suddenly, next to Namjoon. “Let me tell it.”

“Hyung,” Namjoon objects, but Yoongi shakes his head.

“Let me do it.”

Namjoon hesitates, but ultimately yields, settling heavily into the armchair next to Seokjin’s perch on the armrest. He reaches for Seokjin’s hand, and the omega interlaces their fingers.

Jimin’s eyes dart between the alphas, but resettle on Yoongi as the older alpha continues the story. “So, Kim Sungwon returns to the City, he’s back in his brother’s good graces, he’s becoming best friends with his brother’s mate, and everything looks good. Kim Sungho’s mate, she gets pregnant after a few months, and they’re all happy, right? I mean, this is the next generation of the First Alpha’s line, and maybe it means that Sungwon and Sungho don’t have to fight about it anymore. But then the pup is born, and everything goes to shit.”

“What? Why?” Jimin asks.

“I was born,” Namjoon says quietly. “With these eyes. They aren’t exactly gold, but they are not the eyes of my appa.”

Jimin stares, lips parted, but it’s Seokjin who speaks.

“What are you saying?” he can’t help the way his voice cracks, thin, waifish. “You’re not…your appa isn’t…”

“I don’t know,” Namjoon shrugs. “I never found out. I mean, I do resemble my appa but…”

“So your umma…your umma and Jungkook’s appa…?” Jimin’s voice trails off, and he flushes in embarrassment.

“I don’t know,” Namjoon says again. “I never met my umma.”

“W-what?” Seokjin’s voice trembles.

“My appa thought my umma cheated,” Namjoon continues, still quiet. “He followed the example of that Head Alpha two hundred years ago.”

It’s silent for a moment, everyone digesting that, and then Taehyung speaks up hesitantly. “Your appa, he…he…”

“He killed my umma, yes,” Namjoon says flatly. Seokjin flinches and he tightens his grip on Namjoon’s hand as if Seokjin’s the one who needs comfort. “And then when he realized what he’d done, he turned around and blamed it on his brother. He said that it was Sungwon’s fault, because Sungwon had slept with his mate and made me, a bastard pup. He said this must have been Sungwon’s plan all along, to get his pup to become the next heir. And he would have killed Sungwon too, but Sungwon escaped the Estate and he was never seen again. Or at least, not until…”

“Wait, so,” Jimin puts a hand up. “Are you and Jungkook brothers? Or cousins? I’m confused.”

“I really don’t know,” Namjoon says. “My father never wanted to know the truth. The eyes made him think I wasn’t his, and I spent the first ten years of my life thinking the same thing. Bastard pup , is what he always called me. But by the time I was ten, I resembled my appa more and more. He called me his pup, both because I think he was so guilty about what he did to my umma and because he wanted my eye colour attached to his name. But the mistake he made was telling me for ten years that I wasn’t his, telling me all about Kim Sungwon and his gold eyes. I knew Jungkook had to be his son, when I met him. There’s no other way he could have had those gold eyes.”

“So what happened to Jungkook’s appa after that? After he ran away?” Jimin asks.

“This is where I don’t know what happened,” Namjoon admits. He turns to Seokjin. “Hyung?”

Seokjin clears his throat, pushing himself off of his perch on the armrest to stand up. “What I know, I heard through the pack, so take it with a grain of salt. But from what I know, Sungwon traveled through the forests, meeting many nomadic packs, until he stumbled on ours. He met Jungkook’s umma first, Jeon Jieun – she was out picking flowers I think, so outside of the pack’s invisibility. Our pack…the thing with nomadic packs,” Seokjin continues. “They’re not affected by Head Alpha, for the most part. Our pack still knew what those gold eyes meant; they knew he was related to the Head Alpha somehow. And Jungkook’s appa, he wasn’t given a warm welcome. Nomadic packs solely exist because they fundamentally disagree with the system of a Head Alpha. But when Jungkook’s mom brought Sungwon back to camp, there wasn’t much they could do. If they killed him, who knew what would happen to the pack? But Jungkook’s umma blatantly choosing Sungwon over an alpha of our pack, and against the Pack Alpha’s orders? That couldn’t be allowed. They wanted to separate them. And then, Jungkook’s umma got pregnant.”

“So?” Jimin asks. “Were they successful? Did they separate Jungkook’s parents?”

Seokjin hesitates, looking over at Namjoon again. Should he tell them what Namjoon’s abeoji did, or would Namjoon?

But the alpha looks puzzled, eyebrows drawn together. “That’s the only part I don’t understand,” he admits. “When Jungkook and I fought, it was right after he spoke to his umma. I assume she told him about a lot of this, but what I don’t understand is when he said your appa killed mine . It just seemed like…he really believed that.”

Seokjin’s breath catches in his throat. “But, he did ,” Seokjin blurts out. “Didn’t he? Didn’t your appa kill Jungkook’s? That’s what our pack always said.”

But Namjoon is frowning. “No,” he says. “Sungwon never returned to the City. Not until his dead body was dumped at the gates of the Estate.”

“What?” Seokjin whispers.

“My appa always said he as good as killed him,” Namjoon continues. “I never knew what he meant by that. Did my appa organize for my uncle to be killed? Did my appa feel guilty for making him run away? I’ve never asked, but mainly because by that point I was barely speaking to my appa. I didn’t want to be Head Alpha.”

Seokjin is surprised. “You didn’t?”

Namjoon shakes his head. “No, I wanted as little to do with my appa as possible. I don’t like him, and I don’t want to be like him. What happened with my umma, with his brother…that’s the kind of person my father is. He can’t take responsibility for his actions. So I didn’t want to be Head Alpha to spite him, because I knew that he wanted me to be, he expected it of me.”

“So, what happened? What changed your mind?”

Namjoon pauses, a hand coming up to rub at his chest again. “I met Jungkook.”

It’s silent after Namjoon’s speech, and then Hoseok clears his throat. “You have to understand,” he looks towards Jimin and Taehyung. “When we first met Jungkook, he was fifteen, packless, and he didn’t trust us. He didn’t trust anyone. We didn’t tell him about his appa back then because he didn’t need to know. It wasn’t important. His safety, getting him a pack, a family , that’s what was important. I didn’t want him to find out like this, but I don’t regret what we did.”

Taehyung leans forward. “Safety?” he repeats. “Safety from what?”

“Namjoon’s abeoji,” Seokjin tells him. “Jungkook is a threat to Namjoon’s position as heir.”

“So…what?” Taehyung looks a little pale. “Your abeoji would have killed Jungkook?”

“Maybe,” Namjoon says. “I don’t want to give him the chance. He killed my umma. He as good as killed my uncle. I don’t want to know what he would do if he found out about Jungkook.”

“It was always our goal to keep Jungkook safe,” Yoongi continues, much quieter, back at the window and looking out into the pitch black of the night. “Everything we’ve ever done, it was for him.”

A silence follows his declaration, broken only by the faint creaks of the house and the faint rustle of wind in the tree leaves outside.

Jimin shifts on the couch, clearing his throat. “I just have one question,” he says. “If your appa didn’t kill Jungkook’s appa, then who did?”

☽

Taehyun is so small, and Jungkook can’t help but marvel over that fact.

Jungkook has not interacted with any pups since his days at the orphanage, and even then, Jungkook had never really considered himself to be a pup, not at that age. He had not thought of himself as a child for a long, long time.

But seeing Taehyun now, watching the way the pup is a little too small in his chair, the way Jungkook has to slow his pace so the younger wolf can keep up, the way Taehyun’s scent stills clings with the faintest traces of youth, of childhood, Jungkook wonders if this is what he looked like. Or maybe if this is what he was supposed to be like. Was he as small as Taehyun, all those years ago? Did his scent smell like this - sweet, soft, warm? And if he was this small, why the fuck was Jungkook made to go through all those awful things? How could anyone look at a pup and not want to protect that innocence, that absolute trusting?

“Jungkookie-hyung,” Taehyun pipes up, fully trusting of Jungkook now, following along dutifully. “Where are we going?”

“Somewhere to get some rest,” Jungkook tells him. “There’s no point in going after...after that alpha tonight. You’ve done enough for me today.”

“Oh,” Taehyun pauses for a moment, and then he reaches out with a small hand to tug on Jungkook’s shirt. “Then should I meet with you tomorrow? Will you...I mean, maybe we could have some breakfast?”

He sounds so hopeful for the promise of more free food, and Jungkook feels another flash of protectiveness surge through him. The longer he spends in Taehyun’s company, the less he feels able to let the pup go, to release him back into the streets when Jungkook’s lived it, when he knows exactly what it’s like for pups like Taehyun.

“You’re coming with me,” Jungkook says. The squat grey buildings of the Alpha Guard are within eyesight, and Jungkook slides a look towards the omega pup. “I have a place for you to sleep; it’s safe, and there’s a lock on the door.”

“Oh,” Taehyun says again. When Jungkook looks over, the omega doesn’t look upset; there’s a giddy smile that he tries to hide. “Jungkookie-hyung,” he says again, like he really likes the sound of it on his tongue. “You said you were packless too, right?”

“Right.”

“So how did you...find a pack?” Taehyun asks shyly. “How did you find a family?”

Jungkook pauses. They’ve reached the front entrance of his building now, and Jungkook pulls out his set of keys, pulls the door open and motions for Taehyun to step through.

“My hyung found me,” he tells the pup, stepping into the elevator and pressing the button for the fifth floor. “I tried to steal his wallet, actually.” He can’t help but laugh when he remembers it, how angry he’d been back then, how unimpressed Namjoon had been.

“He wasn’t mad?” Taehyun sounds amazed.

“No,” Jungkook shakes his head. “I guess...there were more important things than getting angry.” The elevator doors open on the fifth floor, and Jungkook steps out. Taehyun trails behind him, following Jungkook through the front door of his apartment.

“And you stayed with your hyung ever since?” Taehyun presses on. “You found a family?”

Jungkook pauses, flicking on the lights and taking in the cold cleanliness of his apartment, the unfeeling way there is nothing hinting at Jungkook’s personality in the things he displays. “Yeah,” he exhales, eventually. “I found a family.”

He shows Taehyun to the only bedroom in the apartment - Jungkook’s own - stripping the bed of his sheets and laying out a new set for the pup. He gives him a new toothbrush and an old shirt that he can wear to bed, and shows him how to lock the door from the inside.

“I won’t hurt you,” Jungkook tells him gently, when he sees the way Taehyun chews on his bottom lip. “But this is for you to feel safe. Whether you lock the door or not is up to you; I won’t come into this room.”

“Okay,” Taehyun agrees, and Jungkook leaves him then, pulling the door closed and moving into the living room. He grabs a pillow and extra blanket, setting them on the couch, and then he pulls out the yellow file folder, the one with the information on Minseok. He’s read through it a million times, and Jungkook settles into the couch to read it again.

Morning greets Jungkook with piercing sunlight; he’d fallen asleep still reading the file, and he hadn’t closed the blinds in his living room. He shakes himself awake, setting the loose papers on the coffee table and reaching both arms up, stretching out the tight muscles in his back from the uncomfortable way he’d slept.

It’s still early, so he decides to go for a run. He pins a note to the fridge, locks the apartment behind him, and sets out in a comfortable jog. He likes running, this early in the morning. There is no one out to bother him, and the City is so quiet that Jungkook can sometimes imagine he is back in the forest, back under the tall trees and warm sunlight, back to the cold rivers and sweet-smelling breeze. The forest had always been his escape, ever since he was a pup. Now, it settles him, prepares him for what he is about to do.

He returns to his apartment half an hour later, warm, sweaty, a little breathless, and he’s bombarded by the bitter scent of panic as soon as he opens his front door.

“Taehyun?” He calls out, tense, voice hard, scenting the air for any sign of a threat. But it is only the scent of Taehyun that floats through the air, and then the rapid sound of tiny footsteps echo through the apartment. Taehyun appears a minute later, frazzled, panicked, reaching for Jungkook.

Taehyun doesn’t slow down in his haste to reach Jungkook, and he barrels right into the alpha, wrapping two skinny arms around Jungkook’s body, burrowing into Jungkook’s chest and tucking himself as close as possible to the alpha.

“What is it?” Jungkook asks, senses still heightened, waiting for an attack. He wraps one arm around the pup to keep him close. “What’s wrong?”

“Where did you go?” Taehyun demands. His voice trembles with fear. “I woke up, and you weren’t here! I thought...I thought I was alone again!”

Jungkook exhales, releasing tension from his shoulders, one hand coming up to grasp at Taehyun’s shoulder to push the omega pup back a step. “I just went for a run,” he tells him. “Didn’t you see the note I left?”

Taehyun looks embarrassed suddenly, and he won’t meet Jungkook’s gaze. “I can’t…” his voice catches, faintly. “I don’t know how to read.”

Jungkook blinks. “Oh.”

“That’s why…” Taehyun pauses, licks his lips. He glances up at Jungkook, maybe to gauge his expression, but Jungkook doesn’t laugh. It seems to calm Taehyun. “That’s why I’m packless,” he whispers. “I’m not...I’m really stupid,” he admits then. “My appa always said. My head doesn’t work right.”

Jungkook swallows around something painful in his throat, and then pulls Taehyun back to his chest. His eyes sting, and he doesn’t want Taehyun to see it. “You’re not stupid,” he says, when he’s sure his voice won’t betray the way his wolf is snapping deep inside. “Your appa was wrong. You can’t...you can’t always believe what your parents say, because they aren’t always going to be right. Okay?”

Taehyun nods. “Okay,” he says, voice muffled in Jungkook’s chest.

When he thinks he can finally breathe without straining to keep his wolf in check, Jungkook pulls back again. “You’re okay now?” he peers down at the pup’s face to gauge his expression. Taehyun’s cheeks and eyes are red, like maybe he’d cried a little bit when he’d first discovered Jungkook gone, but now he’s smiling, teeth pearly and straight, eyes lit up in happiness. 

“Yes hyungie,” he says. “Can we have breakfast? I’m starving.”

Jungkook huffs out a soft laugh. “Yeah, let’s have breakfast.”

☾

It’s decided pretty quickly after Namjoon’s revelation that they need to split up to cover more ground.

“I want to speak to Jungkook’s umma,” Jimin says stubbornly, arms crossed over his chest and lips pursed tight. Taehyung stands next to him, eyebrows furrowed, displeasure tucked into the corners of his lips.

“Hyungs,” the beta says. “I’m going too. I didn’t realize…” his voice trails off. “I want to make this right.”

Namjoon looks a little wary, but Seokjin steps up beside him, catching the alpha’s attention with a soft hand on his shoulder. “I’ll take them,” Seokjin offers. “You stay here, try to figure out where Jungkookie’s going. In the meantime, I think...I might be able to get Jieun to tell us more. She’s the one who started all this, anyway.”

“Is she?” Namjoon murmurs, but it doesn’t sound like a question meant for Seokjin. “Maybe I should have told him sooner…”

Namjoon moves away, back into the living room, and Seokjin watches him go.

“Don’t worry hyung,” Yoongi says, stepping closer. “We’ll be here for Namjoon-ah. He’s always worried about Jungkook, and he’s always wanted to do what was best for him. Jungkook finding out...it was never going to go well.”

“Okay,” Seokjin agrees, and then they’re out the door, Seokjin and Jimin and Taehyung, sliding into Namjoon’s car.

The drive to the Palace isn’t far, but the car ride passes in silence. Taehyung is staring out the window, something tense in the set of his shoulders. His expression is perturbed, tight, and his hands are clenched into fists in his lap. In the backseat, Jimin’s features are hardened; Seokjin’s eyes flicker to the rearview mirror, and Jimin meets his gaze.

“Taehyung,” the smaller omega says suddenly, startling the beta in the passenger seat. “Tell me everything Jungkook told you.”

Taehyung’s silent for a moment longer, and then he turns around in his seat to look at Jimin. “He’s going to kill Minseok.”

“I know,” Jimin says, at the same time Seokjin says, “What?”

“He said we’re all in danger as long as Minseok is alive, as long as he’s in the City,” Taehyung continues. “Minseok is the one who organized it all; the break in at my club, and the one at my place. I asked if it was random, but Jungkook said Minseok’s too smart for that.”

“What does that mean?” Jimin asks.

“It means that the attack on Taehyung was intentional,” Seokjin murmurs, pulling into a parking spot across the street from the Palace. He turns off the engine, and meets Jimin’s gaze in the rearview mirror again. “It means that Minseok had probably seen Taehyung, encountered him at some point, and he knew what Taehyung’s eyes meant. He probably hoped with these attacks that it would draw Jungkook out. What I don’t get is how he knew Jungkook was even alive.”

Taehyung doesn’t have an answer to this, so they make their way into the Palace through one of the side entrances, following the lushly decorated hallways all the way to the back of the Palace. Here, a hallway of doors extends from one side of the Palace to the other, all bedrooms, meant for omegas like Jieun.

Seokjin knocks on the door before opening it. Jieun is sitting near the window, hands working quickly at embroidering a design onto white fabric. She doesn’t look surprised to see Seokjin again, but she’s suspicious of Jimin, and even more so of Taehyung once she catches sight of his eyes.

“Who are you?” she asks, voice snapping a little bit. She sets her embroidery aside, but she doesn’t get up from her seat.

“Someone who cares about Jungkook,” Seokjin interrupts, moving to take the empty seat across from Jieun. Jimin steps up just behind him, but Taehyung wanders around the room, fingers trailing across the spines of novels and over the rough texture of wooden totems. “We have some questions, and it would really be easier for everyone if you answer them.”

“Where is Jungkook?” Jimin cuts in, and Seokjin almost sighs.

Jieun turns her mocking gaze on the smaller omega, sniffing obviously at the air. “You smell like my son,” she says bluntly. “But you don’t carry a mating bite. Good.”

“Why is that good?” Jimin asks, frowning.

“He’s a freak,” Jieun laughs. “He’s always been one; unfeeling, cold, silent. He disturbs people. Don’t trap yourself with my son, you’ll only regret it. Get away while you can, omega.”

Fury wells up inside Seokjin, but remarkably, it is Taehyung who reacts first. The sharp scent of mint cuts across the room, and Jieun’s gaze snaps to the beta.

“Keep those disgusting words to yourself, bitch,” Taehyung says, voice so calm and so cold that Seokjin feels a shiver go down his spine. “I don’t want to hear it.”

Jieun’s jaw clenches. “Who are you?” she asks again.

“Who am I?” A smile curls across Taehyung’s lips, and he drops the book in his hands, moving closer to Jieun until he towers over her and the omega has to crane her neck back just to hold his gaze. “I’m Jungkook’s brother. I’m Jungkook’s family. He doesn’t need you, not anymore, not when he has me .”

Jimin sucks in a sharp breath, and Seokjin feels similarly shocked.

Jieun scoffs, but there is an anxious edge to her movements now. “Jungkook will always need me.”

“No,” Taehyung says. “I’m his family now. I’m going to be a much better family to him than you ever were, so don’t concern yourself with him anymore. He doesn’t need you. I won’t let you manipulate him ever again.”

Jieun releases a low growl, but Taehyung smirks, unbothered.

“Manipulate…?” Seokjin asks.

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” Taehyung finally steps back from Jieun, turning to look at the two omegas. “She’s been manipulating Jungkook this whole time. So what was your real reason? Why do you want Jungkook to kill Minseok?”

“That alpha has been breathing air for too long,” Jieun says savagely. “My son’s only reason for existing should be to get me the revenge I deserve. To deal out justice on my behalf. Minseok deserves to die for what he did to me.”

“Jungkook doesn’t owe you shit,” Taehyung retorts. The anger in his voice is heated, snapping, like maybe he might shift in that very room. Seokjin needs to divert him, fast.

Jimin clears his throat, soft, studying Jungkook’s umma from across the table. “You told Jungkook that the Head Alpha killed his appa.”

“Yes,” Jieun snaps. “And?”

“You lied,” Jimin says simply, but Seokjin understands what Jimin’s not saying.

“You sent Jungkook to kill the Head Alpha too,” Seokjin whispers. Nausea rolls in his stomach; he feels dizzy, suddenly, light-headed. Jungkook wouldn’t actually do it, would he? He couldn’t, right? There was no way he would be successful, he’d get caught, he would die for this.

“I didn’t lie,” Jieun says acerbically, glaring at Jimin.

“Yes you did,” Jimin scoffs, and Seokjin swallows heavily, remembers the quick moment he’d had alone with Namjoon before they’d left, the one question he’d asked.

Were there any ideas about who actually killed Jungkook’s appa?

“You know the story as well as I do, Seokjin,” Jieun says then, turning to the other omega. “You know what happened to my mate!”

They say he was dumped at the front gate of the Estate, shirtless, bloody, skin stained black.

Black?

From wolfsbane. He’d been shot at with arrows, hunted down probably. The arrows were laced with wolfsbane. There was nothing else to go on besides that.

“It was Minseok,” Seokjin whispers.

“What?”

“It was Minseok,” Seokjin repeats, more clearly now. “Minseok hunted down Kim Sungwon, the same way he tried to kill Jungkook. Jungkook is running to his death.”

☽

“Ready to go?” Jungkook asks, pushing himself to standing after tying up his black boots. Taehyun nods, hands tightly gripping at the straps of his backpack. He’s still in his duct-taped shoes, but Jungkook had rummaged around in his closet, looking for anything he might have kept from his days in the orphanage. He’d come across a pair of shorts with an elastic waistband tight enough to fit the small omega, and a shirt that had belonged to Jihoon. Jungkook had paused, gripping the red shirt in his fingers, and then turned to hand it over to Taehyun.

Now, seeing Taehyun in Jihoon’s shirt, Jungkook finally understands the deep wave of protectiveness that had overwhelmed him. Taehyun reminds him of Jihoon; small, slight, unable to protect himself. Jungkook had failed Jihoon, but he won’t make the same mistake again.

Jungkook double-checks Taehyun’s seatbelt in the passenger seat before he pulls the car out from the parking spot and onto the road. He lets Taehyun fiddle with the radio as he follows the directions Taehyun had given him earlier that morning, mapped out on a blank piece of paper.

You have to go to the abandoned factories , Taehyun had said. The ones in the southern part of the City, where the big fire happened .

So Jungkook drives south, over the bridge that crosses the river and through downtown until he emerges on the other side of the City, derelict and depressing, marked with grey slab stones and cracked pavement. Taehyun turns off the radio now, evidently scared even with the presence of Jungkook beside him.

But Jungkook knows this area well. He spent a lot of time here, when he was packless.

“Did you ever sleep in the alley behind the fish market?” Jungkook asks, and Taehyun looks over, shaking his head.

“It smelled too bad,” he says, crinkling his nose.

Jungkook laughs. “It did,” he agrees. “I got used to it, though. There was this empty storage unit in the back alley. The door was all warped and the hinges were rusted. The door wouldn’t move. There was just this little gap that I could squeeze through. I liked sleeping there because anyone bigger than me couldn’t get in.”

Taehyun hums. “Usually groups of omegas will let me sleep with them,” he tells Jungkook. “It’s a little different for omegas, I guess. We’re used to looking out for each other.”

Jungkook smiles; it’s nothing happy, but something more like acknowledgment. “I don’t trust very many alphas either,” he tells Taehyun.

Taehyun turns to look at him, but he doesn’t press the subject, probably because he knows Minseok. He already knows what Jungkook means.

“Who gave you that?” Taehyun asks instead, pointing down to Jungkook’s chest.

Jungkook lifts a hand from the steering wheel, fingers finding the silver chain and the ring that hangs from it. “Someone important to me,” he says quietly. “My angel.”

“It has moon magic,” Taehyun continues. “But you took off your earrings. Why’d you keep this one on?”

Jungkook pulls over to the side of the road, close enough to the factories now. He shuts off the engine and turns to the omega pup. “The ring is different. I promised my angel I wouldn’t take it off. That way, he can always find me.”

“Oh,” Taehyun says then. “It’s really pretty.”

Jungkook huffs out a quiet laugh. “It is,” he agrees.

“Is your angel pretty too?”

“The prettiest.”

Taehyun’s eyes sparkle. “Can I meet him? He’s an omega like me, right? Was he packless too?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “No,” he tells Taehyun. “He wasn’t.”

The pup zooms on. “Can I meet him after...after this? I’ve never been good at moon magic, because there’s something...wrong in my head,” he stumbles over his words. “But maybe I can learn.”

Jungkook glances at the pup. “Yeah, he works at the Palace, actually.”

“And also,” Taehyun goes on. “He’s really important to you, right? So you’re going to go back to him when we’re done here, right? Are you in a big pack? I’m still really small, I wouldn’t even take up a lot of room, and I won’t even complain if you give me chores!”

Oh , Jungkook thinks.

“When we’re done here,” Jungkook says, cutting off Taehyun’s stream of nervousness. “I’m going to take you to my Pack Alpha. I’ll tell him that you’re pack now.”

Taehyun‘s mouth drops open. “I am?”

“You are,” Jungkook tells him. “So don’t be so scared, alright? I won’t let anything happen to you. Promise.”

“Okay,” Taehyun whispers, and then Jungkook steps out of the car. Taehyun follows quickly, shutting the door behind him, and Jungkook joins him on the sidewalk as they head towards the abandoned factories.

“It’s really close by,” Taehyun tells him, voice very soft now, like he’s scared Minseok will hear and know they are close by.

“Taehyun,” Jungkook says, just as soft. “When you met him before, did he ever hurt you?”

Taehyun shakes his head. “No, but I saw what he did to the other pups. The ones that made him angry.” The omega shivers. “That’s why I always made sure to do exactly what he said.”

“And what was that?” Jungkook asks.

“Well, for the omegas, he just wanted protection,” Taehyun explains. “There were some older omegas who told us we had to wear these bracelets.” He holds out his tiny wrist, and Jungkook spots the stones that dangle delicately, carved with runes. “I think he collected a lot of packless omegas to make him really invisible. I don’t know how many of us are wearing these bracelets.”

“Anything else?” Jungkook asks, through the hot wave of fury that rips through his stomach.

Taehyun shakes his head. “I think he kept some of the other omegas close to him, the ones who were good at moon magic. But he told me I was useless, so.”

“Omegas...omegas your age?” Jungkook asks. His chest feels very tight, suddenly.

Taehyun frowns, his eyebrows pulling together. “No,” he says, like he doesn’t understand. “The older omegas. He keeps them really close.”

Jungkook exhales, closing his eyes in relief.

“It’s just here, hyung.”

Taehyun pulls on the hem of Jungkook’s shirt, stopping the alpha. The abandoned factory is old, dilapidated, and falling apart from years of neglect. The windows are broken and the door hangs from one hinge. The grey bricks are cracked with age and from rainwater, and Jungkook spots the blackened stone from the fire that had torn through this block five years ago. It had never been repaired because this part of the City was barely a blip on the Head Alpha’s radar.

“Once you pass through those doors,” Taehyun whispers. “He’ll know you’re there. You have to keep going all the way to the back of the factory to get to him.”

Jungkook nods. “Okay,” he says, taking one last look around the barren grounds, the only sign of life coming from the weeds that grow between the cracks in the pavement. “We’re done here.”

“We are?” Taehyun asks. “Aren’t you going to go in?”

“Not while you’re here,” Jungkook tells him. “It’s time that you got a pack.”

☾

The way Namjoon collapses into his couch reminds Hoseok vividly of the night so many years ago, when they’d pulled Jungkook out of the horror of the orphanage. Namjoon looks just as wracked with guilt now, and Hoseok feels just as inadequate to take that guilt away.

“Namjoon-ah…” Yoongi’s dark eyes are watching Namjoon too, watching the way the alpha leans forward to press his fists to his eyes.

“I fucked up,” Namjoon grunts. “I knew I would. I never should have…”

“Never should have what?” Yoongi prompts, something hard in his voice.

“Why did I ever think I could help Jungkook?” Namjoon asks, finally lifting his head. “I fucked up, when I first met him, and I fucked up again, with all of this. I told myself, I made a promise to myself, that I wouldn’t hurt him. But it turns out I’ve hurt him more than anyone.”

Hoseok inhales quickly, wants to deny Namjoon’s words, but Yoongi’s sharp laugh cuts through the room instead.

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Yoongi snaps, and Hoseok whirls around, gaping at the older alpha.

“...what?” Namjoon asks, startled.

“I fucking hate that useless self-pity,” Yoongi continues, just as harsh, just as unforgiving. “If you’re looking for one of us to make you feel better, it’s not gonna happen. Stop acting like what you did was so wrong. I hurt him more than anyone , don’t make laugh. You think any of this compares to what he went through? You think Jungkook is thinking that too?”

Namjoon’s mouth drops open. “Hyung, I…”

“You’re making this about yourself,” Yoongi tells him. “And I don’t have time for it.”

Namjoon’s jaw clacks shut, and then he swallows audibly. Hoseok looks between them, wide-eyed, silent, but he doesn’t come to Namjoon’s defense or try to make it any easier for the alpha because...because he agrees with Yoongi.

“You’re right,” Namjoon says then, gruffly, shaking his head. “That was kind of self-centered, wasn’t it?”

“As long as you realize it,” Yoongi says, much gentler now. “I’m not saying you can’t feel bad or guilty or whatever, Namjoon-ah. I’m just saying to save it for Jungkook. Save it for when you see him again, when you can apologize to him. He needs to hear those words, not us.”

Namjoon nods. He exhales then, leaning back in his seat. “You know, when I first met Jungkook, he was so young. He was only a pup. And I was so mad.”

“You were?” Hoseok asks. “Why?”

“My whole life,” Namjoon says. “The only family I had was my appa. Suddenly this pup shows up out of nowhere, with gold eyes, packless, abused …” Namjoon’s voice cuts off, and he clears his throat. “Jungkook is mine. My family. He should have grown up with me, he should have been there so I could look after him. And I’ll never forgive my appa for that.”

Hoseok looks over at Yoongi, and then back to Namjoon. “You’ll be Head Alpha soon,” he says quietly, reassuringly. “Your appa won’t have power over you or Jungkook anymore.”

“We just have to find Jungkook first,” Yoongi agrees. “Why does that pup always think he has to do everything on his own? Why does he think he needs to be the one to kill Minseok? Why doesn’t he ever ask us for help?”

“It’s all he’s ever known,” Hoseok answers softly, not really sure if Yoongi’s looking for an answer. “His whole life, he’s always been expected to deal with his problems on his own. He doesn’t ask for help because he doesn’t have that expectation for us, for anyone.”

“This thing with Minseok, it’s part of him,” Namjoon says quietly. “We never realized how deeply, I guess, but…Jungkook has always been trying to figure out exactly who he is, who he wants to be. Minseok had such a deep hand in shaping him that Jungkook must feel some kind of deep responsibility to him. To stopping him. No one knows him like I do , he thinks, so he thinks that means his job must be to stop Minseok. He never talked about it so…we weren’t prepared.”

Yoongi looks a little pale. “So he’s what? On some kind of revenge mission?”

Hoseok shrugs. “Revenge? I don’t think so, it wouldn’t motivate him enough. His entire childhood shaped his outlook on life. Strength is the only thing that’s valuable to Minseok, so Jungkook values it too. And so, if Jungkook can beat Minseok, kill him even, then that means Jungkook is strong enough to overcome his greatest fear. That’s how he sees it.”

“He’s scared,” Yoongi says simply.

“I’d say terrified,” Namjoon replies. “That’s why we need to find him.” He turns his head, a second later, towards the front door, and the doorbell rings out in the silence of the house.

Hoseok tenses, still wary about the wolves that had broken into Taehyung’s apartment, but Yoongi’s hand slides around the back of his neck and the older alpha pulls him into a soft kiss. “I’ll get it,” he murmurs, pulling back from Hoseok and making his way over to the door.

He pulls it open, and, “Uh,” Yoongi says, surprised. “Can I help you?”

“Hello,” a soft voice says, high-pitched, childlike. It must be a pup, Hoseok thinks, because the body of whoever is at the door is hidden by Yoongi’s frame. “I’m looking for Kim Namjoon.”

“That’s me.” Namjoon stands, moving over to the door and Yoongi steps aside. A young pup, an omega pup, stands on the porch. His hands are gripping at the straps of his backpack, and he looks nervous. “What can I do for you?”

“Jungkookie-hyung told me I could stay here,” the pup says, and all three alphas freeze.

“What?” Yoongi breathes.

“He said I’d be safe here,” the pup continues, still nervous, chewing on his bottom lip. “I don’t mean to bother you.”

“Where...where is he?” Yoongi croaks, and the pup looks over his shoulder, towards the dark road.

“He was just here. He made sure someone answered the door before he left.”

Yoongi’s out the door before Hoseok can blink, and the pup startles, flinching at the sudden movement.

“Come in,” Hoseok urges, inviting the pup inside. “What’s your name?”

“Taehyun,” the pup says,, and he’s no less nervous once he’s inside Namjoon’s house. “Um, Jungkookie-hyung also told me about Jimin-hyung. Is he here?”

“No,” Hoseok tells him. The pup wilts a little bit. “But he’ll be back soon, I promise.”

“Okay,” Taehyun says. He looks around the house in wonder, hands still tightly gripping his backpack.

Namjoon turns then, from where he’d been staring out of the house, hoping for a glimpse of Jungkook. “Who are you? How do you know Jungkook?”

Taehyun looks scared, surrounded by two big alphas, and it doesn’t help when Yoongi returns, angry and disgruntled. “I couldn’t pick up a scent,” he growls, scent deep and dark and metallic with frustration, and Taehyun noticeably backs away from all three of them.

“Hey,” Hoseok says then, gently. “Don’t be scared. Jungkook sent you here, right? You can trust him.”

“I do!” Taehyun objects, voice barely above a whisper. “I wish...I wish Jungkookie-hyung was here though.”

Yoongi huffs out a soft laugh. “Me too kid.”

Taehyun swallows, attempts a smile but it lands on something more like wide-eyed fear. Hoseok’s about to say something else, something to soothe the omega pup, when the front door opens again, Seokjin and Jimin and Taehyung talking over each other, pausing at the new scent in the air and the sight of an omega pup in the living room.

“Hyungs, what the hell?” Jimin reacts first, moving past the alphas until he can crouch down to meet Taehyun’s eyes. “Why are you scaring a pup? Maybe back up a little bit?”

“Jungkook dropped him off,” Yoongi says, and Jimin freezes.

“He was here?” Seokjin asks.

“No,” Namjoon says. “Well, technically yes, but he was gone before we realized it. He sent Taehyun here, to us.”

The omega pup pulls on Jimin’s sleeve to get the omega’s attention again. “Are you Jimin-hyung?”

Jimin blinks in surprise. “Yes.”

A wide smile breaks across the pup’s face, and he throws his arms around Jimin happily. “Jungkookie-hyung said I’d be safe here with you.”

Jimin’s voice catches, faintly. “He did? What else did he say?”

“He called you angel a whole bunch of times,” Taehyun’s voice is muffled, and then his head pops up, his hair a mess after burrowing into Jimin’s side. “He said you were really important to him.”

Jimin’s flushing a delicate pink. “Thank you,” he says to the pup. “For telling me. But I meant...did he say anything about where he was going? We’re trying to find him.”

The smile drops off Taehyun’s face, and he shivers. “I showed him where he could find... the bad alpha . Then he brought me here so I wouldn’t get hurt.”

Namjoon looks a little frazzled, a little exasperated. “I can call your parents,” he says gently. “And your Pack Alpha. Do you know their phone numbers?”

Taehyun burrows back into Jimin’s side, but they hear his muffled voice anyway. “I’m packless.”

Namjoon is very obviously surprised by this, and so is Hoseok. He didn’t think Jungkook ever wanted to remember that piece of his life, but then maybe Hoseok was underestimating him. “Oh,” Namjoon says. “I see.”

“Have you eaten dinner yet?” Seokjin asks then, moving forward too, and Taehyun pulls away from Jimin just enough to peer up at the taller omega. He looks a little star struck at the sight of Seokjin, mouthing pretty as he watches the omega approach. He doesn’t look scared of Seokjin either. “C’mon then,” Seokjin smiles down at the pup. “I’ll make you something. What do you like to eat?”

“Wait, hyung,” Namjoon says. Seokjin pauses, and Taehyun turns to look at the tall alpha. “You said you showed Jungkook where to find Minseok-” Taehyun flinches. “Can you show us too?”

Taehyun looks nervous again, and he shakes his head quickly. “Jungkookie-hyung told me not to tell you.”

Namjoon looks like he doesn’t know what to say to that, but it’s Jimin who steps forward, his warm cinnamon and sugar scent saturating the air and the pup relaxes. “Jungkookie-hyung wants to do this on his own, but he really needs his family with him,” Jimin says, scrunching his nose, and Taehyun’s expression lights up at Jimin’s playfulness. “He won’t be mad if you tell us. And if he is, I’ll kick his butt.”

Taehyun giggles a little bit, smiling up at Jimin. “I wish I could tell you,” he says then, shyly, and he holds up a bare wrist. “But I don’t have my bracelet anymore. Hyungie took it because he said that the bad alpha might be able to find me with it. But it also means I can’t find the place that I showed to hyung.”

“Bracelet?” Taehyung asks, the first time he’s spoken since he walked through the door. The rest of the pack have let the omegas take the lead, if only to not scare the pup.

“He’s probably using a whole host of omegas to shield him,” Yoongi replies. “Mins...I mean, the bad alpha. There are probably a hundred omegas running around with bracelets to power the runes that keep him invisible.”

Jimin looks disappointed, and Hoseok wilts in defeat, but then Taehyun says, “Jimin-hyung, couldn’t you find him?”

Jimin looks surprised. “What do you mean?”

“Jungkookie-hyung was wearing the ring that you gave him,” Taehyun chirps. “He told me he doesn’t take it off, so that you could find him.”

“Jimin?” Taehyung asks, stepping forward to grab the omega’s hand. “Jimin, can you find him?”

“I don’t...I don’t know if I’m strong enough,” Jimin worries. “I’ve never done something like that before.”

“I’ll help you,” Seokjin says, grasping Jimin’s other hand. The taller omega smiles. “We’ll find him, Jimin-ah. Don’t worry.”

☽

It is dark by the time Jungkook makes it back to the abandoned factory; dark, desolate, derelict. It is a new moon tonight, and there is only a flickering street lamp that provides light to guide Jungkook on his path to the front of the crumbling building. The front door hangs on one hinge, and Jungkook steps inside.

The inside of the factory is far worse than the outside. Years of rain, snow, ice, and rats have turned the floor into a dusty, cracked surface. Wind whistles through the empty window panes, and broken, rusted pieces of old machinery line the walls. There is very little light now, but Jungkook doesn’t need it. He steps easily over broken cables and metal pieces, his golden eyes glowing, following Taehyun’s instructions.

Keep going straight to the back of the factory. You’ll find him there .

So Jungkook keeps moving, passing dusty shelves and shattered glass, creaking metal railings and crumbling walls, into the pitch black of the factory. He walks and walks, until the darkness starts to recede, each step forward bringing him out into the light. He can feel a faint breeze now, and then he takes the final few steps out into a section of the factory where the ceiling has caved in. High above, the stars shine brightly, bringing a faint light all the way down to the factory floor.

“Jeon Jungkook.”

In the almost ten years that have passed, the visceral fear Jungkook feels at the sound of the ice cold voice, the sharp inflection, the harsh tone - that fear has never gone away. Jungkook is only much better at hiding his reaction now.

Minseok steps out from the darkness. He hasn’t bothered to hide his scent here, probably because of the protection he’s given by the many omegas he’s tied to him. But Minseok is alone now.

“How did you find me?” Minseok asks. He doesn’t seem surprised at Jungkook’s appearance; it’s almost as if he expected it.

“I got some help from one of the packless pups,” Jungkook replies, coming to a stop. The air feels heavier, this deep inside the factory, despite the caved-in ceiling. It makes it harder to breathe, though Minseok looks unaffected. “Loyalty gained through fear only goes so far, after all.”

Minseok smirks. “Oh, I was hoping you’d find me,” he tells Jungkook. “I planned on it. I’ve been waiting for you to come back to me, Jungkook.”

“Why would you ever think I’d come back to you?” Jungkook scoffs. “I’m here to kill you.”

“You can try,” Minseok acknowledges. He pauses, and a silence falls between them. A faint wind rustles Jungkook’s hair, and he swears for a moment that he can hear whispers carried in the breeze. He tilts his head, tries to focus on them, but they’re gone with the next gust as if he’d only imagined it. Minseok goes on. “I taught you everything you know, after all. I made you who you are today. And I’ve waited a long, long time for you. Now you need to pay back what you owe me.”

“Owe you?” Jungkook repeats. “I don’t owe you shit.”

Jungkook’s opposition seems to throw Minseok; something mean and hard streaks across his face. “You owe me your life,” Minseok growls. “You owe me for the hours I put in to make you the alpha you are today.”

“You tried to kill me,” Jungkook says. “You shot me with a wolfsbane-laced arrow!”

Minseok shrugs. He looks unbothered. “That was...a complication. I was frustrated with your umma. She was always such a bitch to me, and I wanted to make her cry. But I didn’t actually kill you.”

Jungkook crosses his arms over his chest, studying the other alpha. “You’ve always been obsessed with my umma. Why? Because she didn’t want you?”

Minseok’s taken aback for a moment, and then he snarls, a tight laugh breaking out of his throat. “Who let you get so mouthy, huh? Is it that omega you’ve spent so much time with? Park Jimin right?”

And Jungkook feels ice settle into his stomach, spreading out through his veins, freezing him in place. Minseok knows about Jimin; he knows . 

Minseok laughs again, looser now.

“Or maybe it’s your other omega, the one who always called you bunny. He’s working out of the Palace too, right. Or your beta brother? The one you were too weak to kill? Or your three hyungs.” Here Minseok’s face contorts again, a savage bite to his words now. “Out of everyone in your little makeshift pack, those three are the worst. I could have had you two years ago, when I got to the City. But those three alphas kept you so close it was impossible to separate you, to get you out. I had to go through a pathetic beta.”

Jungkook watches the play of expressions passing over Minseok’s cold features; rage, disgust, bitterness. And then, the other alpha looks up at Jungkook and it changes to obsessive .

“Why?” Jungkook asks. “Why did you want me to come see you?”

“Because you were supposed to be mine !” The roar explodes out of Minseok, echoing from the towering walls and vast emptiness of the large room, up into the night sky. “You were supposed to be my son.”

Jungkook stares. “What are you talking about?”

“If your bitch of a mother had done what she was supposed to do and mated me, you would be mine .”

Minseok’s breathing is heavier now, and he’s showing far more emotion than he ever did when Jungkook was a pup. It’s almost too much emotion. The years have not been kind to him, since Jungkook’s last seen him. Jungkook has no reason to be kind either.

“But I’m not yours,” he says. “I’ll never be yours. My umma chose someone else.”

“That’s right,” Minseok acknowledges. He scoffs. “She chose her side. She picked Head Alpha, and he killed her mate. Our pack always knew we couldn’t trust the Head Alpha. Your umma’s always just been that stupid.”

Jungkook doesn’t reply to this. Nausea churns in his stomach before it too fades. He watches Minseok, still on guard, always on guard around this alpha that had taught him so many lessons that Jimin and his hyungs were slowly trying to undo.

“So why did you want me to come see you?” Jungkook finally asks. He’s taking too long, he realizes. He needs to do what he came here to do. “You know I’m here to kill you.”

“I know,” Minseok says, much calmer now. “But there’s something more important than that. You never finished your alpha trials, so this is it. The final trial. Your final test. Something even your appa would have wanted.”

“Oh yeah?” Jungkook asks. “And what’s that?”

“I know you must have gone to see your umma,” Minseok says. “And I know she wants this too; she talked about it all the time in our pack. Your final task, Jungkook, is to get revenge for your appa. Your final task is to kill the Head Alpha.”

☾

Seokjin feeds Taehyun a quick dinner, gets him settled in one of the guest rooms, and sings a lullaby until the young omega finally falls asleep. He shuts the door quietly behind him, and makes his way down to the living room.

Namjoon has pushed his coffee table out of the way, and Jimin’s sitting cross-legged on the floor. Taehyung’s sitting just behind him, up on the couch, but the three alphas are all standing around the room, waiting for Seokjin.

“I’m ready,” Seokjin says, moving towards Jimin and taking a seat on the ground facing him. He reaches for Jimin’s hands, pausing only to meet the other omega’s gaze. “Ready?”

Jimin nods, and then Seokjin closes his eyes, sinking deep into his moon magic, finding the bright tendrils of it and taking hold. It responds to him, joyously, always eager to do his bidding, flowing through his body, down his arms and into his hands, shooting out little sparks of joy at meeting Jimin’s moon magic. The energies wrap around each other, happy, delighted, and then Seokjin starts to flow through Jimin’s moon magic, through the bright waves and bubbling sparks, all the way until he finds a sturdy golden bond.

Jungkook .

The bond is thick, healthy, impenetrable. It’s one of the strongest Seokjin’s ever seen, and Seokjin doubts he’d have the strength to break it. He doubts a hundred omegas would have the strength to break it. The golden bond thrums with power, sparkles with happiness, and for a moment Seokjin basks in it, in the pure happiness Jungkook must feel with Jimin for the two of them to have created a bond so strong.

He starts to feel along the bond, following it, bringing Jimin’s moon magic with him. He feels the echoes of Jimin’s curiosity, his apprehension, as it starts to darken around them, blackness overpowering the bright moon magic, but Seokjin keeps going, following the shining golden bond, all the way to a dark alley. It smells like fish here, and a little like garbage too. The golden bond squeezes through a creaking metal doorframe, all the way to-

Jungkook .

Seokjin opens his eyes.

The argument that ensues after they find Jungkook is so bad that it wakes Taehyun.

“What is it?” the small pup asks, halfway down the stairs and rubbing at his eyes. “What’s wrong? Is Jungkookie-hyung okay?”

“He’s fine,” Hoseok reassures the pup. “We found him. We’re just trying to decide who gets to go get him, to bring him back.”

“I’m going alone,” Namjoon says then, like he’s been saying all night. “It makes sense.”

“I said I want to come,” Jimin snaps, and Taehyung’s right behind him.

“Mins...I mean, the bad alpha hurt me too.”

Namjoon exhales. “I get that, I really do, but we already know where Jungkook’s going. He’s going to kill my abeoji. He’s going to try to, anyway. None of you can enter the Estate. It won’t work.”

“Let me come,” Yoongi says then.

“No,” Namjoon disagrees. “It has to be me. It can only be me. Jungkook can’t think we’re cornering him right now, or else it will explode in our faces. All of this...this mess, it’s in our family. It has to be me.”

And Hoseok doesn’t argue, because Hoseok agrees with Namjoon’s point. “Jungkookie can’t think we’re all ganging up on him right now. But if we all go, and we all try to stop him, that’s what it’s going to look like.” He shoots Jimin an apologetic look, knowing how desperate the omega must be to go bring Jungkook back, to make sure the alpha is safe.

Jimin sighs, evidently frustrated, but he doesn’t argue anymore.

Taehyun’s gaze darts between them, still a little nervous. “Namjoon-hyung,” he says quietly. “Are you the one who found him? When he was packless?”

Namjoon nods. “Yeah,” he says, surprised. “He told you about that?”

“Mhm,” Taehyun chews on his bottom lip. “He said he found a family. You gave him that?”

Namjoon swallows heavily. “I tried my best to,” he says quietly.

“Then I think you have to be the one to go find him again,” Taehyun nods like his decision is the final one. “Jungkookie-hyung needs you to go get him, I think. He needs you to help him find his family again.”

A smile tugs at the corners of Namjoon’s lips, and even Hoseok feels buoyed by the innocence of Taehyun.

“I think you’re right.”

And then Namjoon’s getting ready to leave, changing into a pair of jeans and a dark bomber jacket, tugging on his boots. He pulls Seokjin into a sweet kiss, and then takes a step back to speak to the whole group. “I’ll bring him home.”

“Make sure he isn’t hurt,” Hoseok says, and then Namjoon’s gone, Seokjin the last one in the doorway watching the alpha’s tall frame disappear into his car.

Hoseok takes a few steps back, looking for Yoongi. Taehyung and Jimin are guiding Taehyun back upstairs, and Seokjin’s still watching Namjoon depart, so Hoseok follows the scent of coffee to the kitchen. Yoongi is seated at the table, scrolling through his phone, exhaustion evident in the tired slump of his shoulders.

“Namjoon will find him,” Hoseok says, sliding into the seat beside Yoongi, pressing close to the other alpha. “Namjoon will bring him back.”

“I know,” Yoongi says quietly. “I trust Namjoon.” He’s still scrolling through his phone; it’s open to Yoongi’s set of music files, the ones he’s already released.

“What are you doing?” Hoseok asks, looking between the phone screen and Yoongi’s weary expression.

Yoongi exhales. “I put out a new song before all this shit and...it was for Jungkook, actually. He didn’t get a chance to hear it, but I kept thinking maybe if he heard it, maybe he’d hear me telling him to come home.”

Hoseok stares, lips parted. “I didn’t know you put out a new song.”

“It was for Jungkook,” Yoongi says again. “I wanted him to know first. It didn’t work out.”

“Can I hear it now?” Hoseok asks, and Yoongi hesitates, and then he presses play.

☽

In the dark of the empty storage space, Jungkook tries his best to get some sleep. He can’t return to his apartment, because he can’t risk seeing his hyungs right now, no matter how much he wants to see them, how desperate he is to see them.

The storage space is smaller than he remembers, and he’d had to force the door farther open just to slip through. There is still the old mattress from when he was fourteen and packless, but it’s hardly comfortable now. He lies back on it anyway, in the pitch black of the storage space that smells of fish. He’d felt something euphoric warm him up from the inside half an hour ago, something that reminded him of Jimin, spreading little fireworks all throughout his body. He misses Jimin, and he clutches at the ring on his chest. He misses all of his hyungs.

He wishes they were here; he wishes he didn’t have to do this. He wishes he didn’t have to be alone all the time, when things got dark, when the monsters of his life started to creep up on him again.

He wishes Namjoon was here. He wishes Namjoon would hold out a hand to him, and never let him go. He remembers when he was a pup and he used to imagine the house he would live in with Seokjin; now, he thinks about the same house, but this time all his hyungs are there. Jimin’s there too, Jimin with his bright laugh and sweet kisses. Taehyun would be there too, safe always, because nothing could ever hurt them, not in that house.

He rolls over, sliding his phone out of his pocket. He fiddles with it, until he lands on his music app, opening it up to Yoongi’s page, to Suga .

He blinks in surprise at the new song. He hadn’t known Yoongi was putting out anything new. He presses play, and then rolls onto his back, closes his eyes and lets the voice of the singer wash over him first.

And I see you running into the woods
With your bright yellow jacket, you look lost
You look lost

You know kids like you, ain’t supposed to know
That the world is broken, and the sun is frozen
You know kids like you, ain’t supposed to feel
Like the earth is caving, and the world ain’t spinning for you

And I bet you never knew love could be this bright
Ain’t it something, smile or something
I bet you never knew the air could taste this sweet
I bet you never knew

I see you running into the woods
With your bright yellow jacket, you look lost
You look lost

And then his hyung is second, his Yoongi-hyung rapping, his Yoongi-hyung telling him to come home.

If you heard I’m a threat then you heard right
Shades on but there ain’t a lens for my third eye
People are see through they ain’t really tryna learn
But you eating what I feed you cause it’s served right
People see me and perceive me in the worst light
Find it hard to read me I ain’t speaking I observe guys
Cause people will deceive you I ain’t really tryna learn lies
Searching for meaning with my burnt eyes

The music fades out, and Jungkook desperately wishes to feel the euphoric feeling from half an hour ago. It feels cold now, too cold for June, unnaturally cold, like maybe he’s sick. His stomach clenches, and sweat beads on his forehead. His chest feels tight, his heart is beating too fast. He thinks he might throw up.

The sick feeling consumes him, and, half-delirious, he sinks into his dreams. He hopes he dreams of Jimin.

☾

He dreams of many things.

He dreams of the house he’d imagined as a pup, but this time he realizes the house has changed, morphed, becoming the one he has lived in and out of since he was sixteen. This is Namjoon’s house.

But something is wrong with it. The house is dark, cold, empty. The house is sick . Decay rots the walls and ceilings, and the floor is warped, creaking with each step Jungkook takes. Dust and grime and cobwebs cling to the tables and chairs, and Jungkook takes care not to touch anything.

Hyung?

There is no answer. He’s calling for Namjoon, but he’d be okay with any of his hyungs showing up right now to take him away from here. He doesn’t understand why Namjoon’s house looks like this, why the rest of the houses on the street look like this, why an incessant darkness weighs down on everything Jungkook can see.

Hyung? Are you here?

The floorboards creak behind him, and Jungkook takes a step back to spin in place.

Hyung!

But this is not the Namjoon-hyung he knows. Namjoon is looking at him with cold eyes, unfriendly eyes, hostile eyes. The topaz glows in the dark of this decrepit house, and Jungkook shivers.

Hyung, why are you looking at me like that?

Namjoon doesn’t say anything. He turns his head towards the living room, and Jungkook follows his gaze. And then he finally sees what he hadn’t noticed before.

His five other hyungs, bodies strewn across the floor, unmoving, unresponsive. He’s racing over and dropping to his knees before he can stop himself, shaking hands reaching for Jimin, for any one of them.

Jimin is pale, ice-cold, not breathing. It’s like he’s dead, but that can’t be right. It’s only a dream, isn’t it?

Hyung!

Namjoon is behind him, suddenly. Jungkook hadn’t heard him move. Look at what you did, Jungkookie.

Jungkook drops Jimin’s hand, stares up at his hyung. What?

A cruel smile curls at the corners of Namjoon’s mouth. His topaz eyes glow so bright that Jungkook has to look away. The nausea in his stomach consumes him, sweat beads in his forehead, and he can barely keep himself upright. Something is very, very wrong.

Look at what you did.

☽

The Estate of the Head Alpha is a little outside of the City, higher up in the mountains that border the north side of the City and continue farther North to the border of the Territory. It is an expansive piece of property, private, secluded, with a view that overlooks the whole of the City.

The manor itself is huge; it is meant to house not only the Head Alpha and the Head Omega, but also all of the high ranking members of their pack. The surrounding property contains vast houses for the remaining members of the Head Alpha’s pack - usually around a hundred to a hundred and fifty wolves.

But Kim Sungho, the current Head Alpha, had grown suspicious, private, almost reclusive throughout this life. Rumours said he saw enemies everywhere, enemies that wanted his position for themselves. The manor was therefore empty of all wolves except himself, his son, and his staff.

So it’s easy for Jungkook to slip inside, through one of the open doors. Breaking into the Estate itself was laughably easy too, which was a good thing because Jungkook feels himself growing sicker and sicker with each passing hour. 

The manor is silent, almost scentless with the lack of wolves that inhabit it. He makes quick work of finding a dark space to hide himself, to wait until nightfall for his attack. Most of the staff would be gone by then, and that meant Jungkook would have the time he needed to ask the Head Alpha why .

He closes the door behind him, moving further into the dark room, the interior made visible from the sunlight peeking through the gaps in the blinds. It’s one of the many sitting rooms in the house, unused, if the dust is anything to go by. Jungkook doesn’t sit on the couch. He moves to one of the corners instead, just below the windowsill, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor in the faint light. He feels sick, still, nauseous, dizzy, and the nightmare he’d had last night hadn’t helped.

He can still see it, his hyungs, when he closes his eyes.

It feels like he’s still trapped in a nightmare now. His memory is foggy, his thoughts feel jumbled. Even breathing feels like too much work, and sweat slides down the back of his neck. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, and this doesn’t feel like anxiety, like fear. This feels like disease, like something is consuming him from the inside out, feeding on his strength until there is nothing left.

The floorboards creak, just outside the door, and Jungkook holds his breath. He’d been careful to take his scent into himself, so he shouldn’t be found. The floorboards creak again, and then whoever it is moves away from the door. Jungkook exhales.

His plan is a simple one. Once the sun sets, he’ll leave this room and go find the Head Alpha. He is strong enough to trap the Head Alpha, he has to be. He’ll kill the Head Alpha, like his appa would have wanted, but first he’ll ask Kim Sungho why he took away Jungkook’s happiness, Jungkook’s life.

And when it’s over and done with, he’ll return to that factory, to Minseok, and kill him too. Blood will stain his hands like it did in that meadow when he was nine. His hands were not made to be gentle, afterall. He’d been a good student to Minseok, learning how to be cruel. This was his final alpha trial.

The sickness cramps his stomach again, and Jungkook hunches over, wrapping both arms around it, trying desperately to hold back a groan. It’s painful, whatever is happening inside him. It feels like it’s turning his insides to jelly. His hands are shaky when he unwraps his arms, and when he blinks, black spots appear in his vision, like maybe he’ll pass out.

What the fuck?

What was happening to him?

The floorboards creak again, but this time Jungkook cannot hold his breath. It’s coming out too fast, too hard, and Jungkook tries to hold back another pained noise as another wave of cramping overwhelms him. Sweat slides down his face, and Jungkook can’t stop the faintest pained noise from escaping his throat.

The door opens.

He blinks up at the wolf standing in the doorway. Sweat stings Jungkook’s eyes, his arms are still tightly wrapped around his stomach. His mouth drops open as he pants for air, and then the wolf steps into the room.

Sandalwood .

The scent of it floats in the air, all the way to Jungkook and wrapping him up in a hug. Jungkook releases a broken noise, hands leaving his stomach to scrabble at the floor, pushing himself towards Namjoon on hands and knees. It must be a dream, he realizes, because his hyung was here . He must be sixteen again, in the corner of that room in the orphanage. Namjoon was here to make everything better.

“Hyung,” he croaks, desperation spilling over. “Hyung, help me .”

Namjoon crouches down, falling to his knees in front of Jungkook, and Jungkook surges forward despite the pain in his stomach, the tight feeling in his chest, the way his whole body threatens to collapse with each movement.

“ Help me hyung, help me ,” he begs, and Namjoon catches him, holds Jungkook tight to his chest, wrapping two strong arms around him. A sob breaks out of Jungkook’s throat, and he muffles it into Namjoon’s chest.

“It’s okay now, Jungkook,” his hyung whispers. “We’re going home now. It’s over.”

☾

Namjoon reappears a day and half later. He holds an unconscious Jungkook in his arms.

“Oh my god, Jungkook!” Seokjin’s out the door ahead of any of them, reaching for Jungkook’s face to tilt it towards the omega. But Jungkook is unresponsive, breathing a little too fast even in his unconsciousness, a pained expression streaking across his face.

“Get him inside,” Hoseok orders, and Namjoon nods, pushing into the house and depositing Jungkook on the couch.

“What’s wrong with him?” Seokjin asks worriedly, from behind the couch. Jimin crouches down by the armrest where Jungkook’s head is cushioned, pushing sweaty hair out of Jungkook’s face.

“It looks like withdrawal,” Hoseok murmurs, working quickly on an examination of Jungkook.

“Withdrawal?” Taehyung asks.

“From an assault of moon magic,” Hoseok clarifies. “Somehow he was exposed to a lot of it, like hundreds of omegas were focusing their magic on him. It was too much for his body to take. It probably overwhelmed him, overstimulated everything. He’s in withdrawal.”

“How could that have happened?” Yoongi asks. “You’re telling me he walked into a den of omegas who attacked him , and then he just walked out?”

“No,” Hoseok shakes his head. “He probably had no idea it was happening. It was something much more subtle.”

“The omegas must have lined the room with runes,” Seokjin says quietly. “Jungkook walked in, completely oblivious, and the moon magic started to feed on his strength.”

“It’s insidious,” Hoseok continues. “Once the moon magic got a hold of him, it would continue to eat away at his strength until he collapsed. Died, even.”

Jimin’s breath catches in his throat. He looks up from Jungkook’s face, small fingers still smoothing out Jungkook’s pained expression. “Can we do anything to make him come out of it easier?”

“Yes,” Seokjin comes around the side of the couch to take a seat on the floor, grabbing one of Jungkook’s limp hands. “Get Taehyun,” he instructs Taehyung, and the beta does as he’s told without question. Seokjin turns back to Jimin. “We have to feed him our own moon magic. It’ll stop the withdrawal, and it’ll give him back his strength. Also,” he continues, quieter, eyes falling to the silver ring on Jungkook’s chest. “Our moon magic will feel much better to him.”

“Okay,” Jimin agrees, and Taehyung comes back with the omega pup trailing behind him.

“Jungkookie-hyung!” Taehyun darts forward, falling to his knees next to Seokjin, staring slack-jawed at the unconscious alpha. “What’s wrong with him?”

“He’s hurt,” Seokjin says gently. “But we’re going to help him, okay? Me and you and Jimin.”

“With moon magic?” Taehyun asks. He bites his lip. “I can’t. I’m no good at moon magic.”

“That’s alright,” Seokjin comforts. “Jimin and I are here to help you, okay?”

Taehyun still looks a little unsure, but he looks up at Jungkook’s twitching face, and then nods. “Okay.”

Seokjin takes his small hand, and Taehyun takes Jimin’s, and then Seokjin tightens his hold on Jungkook’s sweaty palm. He takes a deep breath in, shuts his eyes, and slips into his moon magic.

 ☽

Jungkook wakes up very slowly.

It is sunlight that greets him when he cracks his eyes open. Next is the scent of cinnamon and sugar . Last is the sound of quiet conversation in the next room.

“-why he would be attacked like that?” Yoongi’s voice is deep, unsettled. “Was the point to kill him?”

“Maybe,” Hoseok replies. He sounds doubtful. “Moon magic isn’t usually used for that though.”

“Well he was really sick,” Yoongi counters.

“No, Hoseok’s right,” Seokjin cuts in. “An attack of moon magic like this, it’s not usually meant to kill. I honestly think that this was an accident.”

“Accident?” Yoongi sounds incredulous.

“The omegas who did this to him probably had very little training,” Seokjin explains. “They didn’t really know what they were doing. They overwhelmed Jungkook, that’s why he got so sick. And...it’s kind of a blessing in disguise.”

“What are you talking about?” Namjoon asks, and Jungkook slips his eyes shut at the sound of his voice. Hyung .

“Seokjin-hyung is telling the truth,” Jimin’s voice filters in next, and Jungkook exhales. The way all pain had left him, so suddenly, and the way a deep golden bond thrums just under his skin, it all makes sense now. “An assault like this only means one thing - control. The inexperience of the omegas who did this means they weren’t able to get complete control of Jungkook. It was either the inexperience or...or Jungkook had something inside him that was a stronger drive than what the omegas could compel him to do. It was a blessing in disguise because Jungkook’s in withdrawal. It means he got sick from the moon magic and he couldn’t actually go out and do what the omegas wanted him to do.”

“It’s not really well-known,” Seokjin continues. “Can you imagine the outrage of alphas if they found out exactly what moon magic could do to them? That omegas could control them?”

“Control?” Yoongi asks. “How?”

“It has to be a lot of omegas,” Jimin explains. “But if they all direct their magic into the appropriate runes, it can take control of alphas, of their actions, of their minds. For Jungkook, it was probably meant to make him compliant, to make him obedient, to make him impressionable. He didn’t kill Minseok. Why? Because that’s where he was attacked.”

“And then Minseok sent him to kill the Head Alpha,” Namjoon says. “I wondered why he moved so quickly. It seemed odd.”

Jungkook tunes out the rest of the conversation, tired, weary, feeling stupid for not recognizing the trap sooner. “ Fuck ,” he murmurs, closing his eyes again. He’d failed. But was that such a bad thing…?

And then he shifts, finally aware of the tiny weight pressing his hand to the couch cushions. He flickers his gaze down to a head of brown hair, a tiny head bent over his hand. “Taehyun?”

The pup’s head shoots up, and he gapes at Jungkook. “Hyungie!”

He throws himself at Jungkook, wrapping skinny arms around Jungkook’s body, and Jungkook huffs as the air escapes his chest. But he doesn’t complain at Taehyun’s enthusiasm; he can feel the trembles in the pup’s shoulders, and the way he grips Jungkook’s shirt tightly between his fingers betrays how scared he must have been without Jungkook there too soothe him.

“You’re awake?”

Jungkook tilts his head to look up at Taehyung. The beta is seated in one of the arm chairs, and he sets a book aside, leaning forward to get a good look at Jungkook. Jungkook pushes himself to sit up, and Taehyun doesn’t budge from his hold on Jungkook. The pup smushes his face into Jungkook’s shoulder.

“How long was I out?”

“A full day,” Taehyung tells him.

Jungkook stretches his head side to side, and, amazingly, everything feels much clearer now. His mind is sharp, his body is free of pain. And then his gaze snaps up when Taehyung exhales.

“I’m so mad at you,” the beta says, disgruntled.

Jungkook pauses. “Because I didn’t kill him?”

“Because you made me your brother,” Taehyung says, voice deep with annoyance. “And now you want to walk away from that? Take some responsibility. We’re family, Jungkook. You’re not going anywhere without me. So stop throwing yourself into these things without the rest of us there to catch you.”

Jungkook swallows. “Oh,” he says. “Okay.”

Taehyung sits back, satisfied, a smile pulling at his lips. “He’s awake!” He calls out then, and there’s a flurry of footsteps as the rest of the pack thunders into the room.

Jimin gets to him first, beautiful even with tired eyes and exhaustion weighing him down. He reaches out to cup Jungkook’s face. “How are you feeling?”

“Good,” Jungkook says truthfully, guiltily. He soaks in Jimin’s warmth, Jimin’s attention. It had been more important to him than anything, coming home to Jimin. “I’m feeling fine, angel. I’m okay now.”