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Chapter Text

But if you close your eyes
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?

-- "Pompeii", Bastille

Outside the jingshi, Lan Wangji knelt in the snow, perfectly still, waiting, silent.

Inside the jingshi, one of the most important decisions of his life was being made.

Despite the emotional content of the matter being discussed, he never heard any raised voices. Lan Qiren was known to shout on occasion, but never Lan Xichen, and the latter never riled up the former to the point where it was necessary.

Every inch of Lan Wangji’s body ached from the beating he had taken. His wounds had been tended, but nothing had been given to him for the pain. Naturally not; the wounds were a punishment and taking away the pain would be counterproductive. The scarring was going to be bad as well, but Lan Wangji did not care. At the moment, all he cared about was the discussion taking place in the jingshi, which concerned the fate of Wen Yuan.

It had been four days since he had come home from the Burial Mounds with the child. His fever was gone; he was back to being healthy and happy, although he often asked after his family. Nobody had yet told him that his family was gone.

Lan Qiren hadn’t wanted to allow him into Cloud Recesses at all, but Lan Xichen had quickly overruled that decision. The child was a complete innocent and the disciplines of the Lan clan were clear that he should be protected. Lan Qiren, already angry that Lan Xichen was correct, then said that he would raise the child himself while Lan Wangji was in seclusion, and that Lan Wangji would in fact be allowed no contact with the child at all.

Lan Wangji had said nothing about this decision, but there must have been something on his face that had made Lan Xichen think this was not a good idea. He had contended that Lan Wangji should be allowed to keep A-Yuan in seclusion with him. The argument had continued for several minutes before Lan Wangji was banished outside to wait.

In truth, he did not know which outcome he wanted. His head reasoned that it would be better for A-Yuan to be raised by Lan Qiren, among other people, who could take better care of him. However, his heart ached at the thought of A-Yuan being taken from him. The child was the only thing he had left of Wei Wuxian. The idea of losing him was enough to drive him halfway to despair.

After fifteen long minutes, the door to the jingshi opened. Lan Wangji lifted his gaze to his brother’s solemn face. They hadn’t spoken much since Lan Wangji’s return to Cloud Recesses. He seemed to understand how much pain Lan Wangji was in, and instinctively know that any words would seem empty at this point.

“The child will stay with you,” Lan Xichen said gently.

Lan Wangji felt tears sting at his eyes. He nodded and said, “Thank you, xiongzhang.”

Two hours later, he was in the back hills.

Seclusion was meant to be a punishment, but he couldn’t help but wonder if Lan Xichen had suggested it because he knew his brother would welcome it at this point. Lan Qiren probably would have considered the beating to be punishment enough, or if he hadn’t, would have prescribed additional beatings. It was Lan Xichen who had quietly said, “Perhaps he should go into seclusion once he’s on his feet again . . .” and Lan Qiren had agreed.

The idea of not having to see anyone for three years beyond Lan Xichen and A-Yuan was an enormous relief.

He knew what the world was going to be like at this point. He knew the way everyone would talk about Wei Wuxian, about what he had been, about what he had done. They would never understand what had really happened. Lan Wangji could not support all of Wei Wuxian’s actions. He could not condone everything he had done. But he could understand that after having his family ripped away from him not once, not twice, but three times, Wei Wuxian had finally gone mad. How could he not? How much cruelty could one person take from an unjust world before it finally destroyed them?

He should have been there. Not just that night, or that week, or that month. He should have been by Wei Wuxian’s side for years, supporting him. But he had not been, because of his own flaws, his own indecision, his own inability to admit what Wei Wuxian meant to him. Now Wei Wuxian was dead. That was something he would have to live with.

“Rich man, rich man,” A-Yuan said, hugging his leg. “Where’s a-die? Where’s popo?”

“My name is Lan Zhan,” Lan Wangji said, sitting down and pulling the child into his lap. “Not rich man.”

“Lan Zhan,” A-Yuan said, and gave a sweet smile. “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan!”

Lan Wangji closed his eyes before the tears could fall.

“Where’s a-die?” A-Yuan repeated. “Where’s popo?”

“They’re gone,” Lan Wangji said, smoothing his hand over A-Yuan’s hair. “They’ve moved on from this world.”

A-Yuan’s face fell. Lan Wangji didn’t know if he understood. He must have, because he then said, “Gege? A-jie?”

Lan Wangji realized he didn’t know who he was referring to. Had the child had actual brothers and sisters? Or did he simply think of the other refugees as family? Not that it mattered. The answer was the same either way. “They are also gone.”

A-Yuan pressed his face into Lan Wangji’s shoulder, put his thumb in his mouth, and went silent.

Lan Wangji held him close and searched for words that might comfort the child. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I will take care of you now.”

There was a small cabin in the back hills which his father had used for this purpose. It had been cleaned and tended. There was very little in it, but the next day, Lan Xichen arrived with supplies. He brought some books and Lan Wangji’s guqin, a tea set and plenty of tea. Lan Wangji would draw his own water and grow his own vegetables. Twice a week, Lan Xichen would come with rice, soybeans, and other necessities. They would never want for anything material, but would live by the barest means.

That was fine for Lan Wangji. More than that, it was preferable. He would not have considered any punishment severe enough for the fact that he had been unable to save his friend. If the world would not punish him, he would punish himself. Only A-Yuan’s needs drove him to accept any assistance at all.

It was the beginning of winter, and growing colder every day. A-Yuan played inside more often than he played outside, but Lan Wangji still let him have a few hours outside each day. A child needed fresh air. Besides, A-Yuan had grown up mostly outside; he still seemed unsure of how to act in a house. Lan Wangji imagined trying to teach the child thirty-five hundred disciplines and even he balked at the idea. He wondered if that had played into Lan Xichen’s decision at all.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan!” A-Yuan’s eyes were sparkling as he interrupted Lan Wangji’s meditation. “A-die, a-die!”

Lan Wangji’s eyes snapped open. He had supposed that A-Yuan might start calling him that eventually, as his memories of the people who had raised him so far faded. But it hadn’t even been a week yet. Were children really so fickle? “What is it, A-Yuan?”

“A-die, a-die!” A-Yuan repeated, pulling on Lan Wangji’s arm.

Lan Wangji realized he was not calling him that at all, but was trying to direct his attention to something else. “What do you mean?” he asked, but he allowed the boy to pull him to his feet and down the path that led to the bounds of Cloud Recesses. He felt a little guilty that he had let the child wander so far while he had been meditating. The back hills were perfectly safe, but he was still so young. Had he explored so much when he had been this age?”

“A-die!” A-Yuan said, and pointed.

There was a man facedown in the snow.

He was wearing all black, and his clothes were quite tattered. His feet were bare, bruised and bloody from what had clearly been a long walk over difficult terrain. His skin was deathly pale, and Lan Wangji wasn’t even sure he was breathing. He knelt next to the man and rolled him onto his back.

Everything stopped.

“A-die!” A-Yuan cheered.

It was, indeed, Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji said a word he had never said before, one that he hoped A-Yuan didn’t repeat in front of anybody else.

It had never been proven that Wei Wuxian was dead. Jiang Cheng had scoured the bottom of the cliffs and found only his flute. But as the days passed by and no sign of him emerged, most assumed his body had been torn apart by the resentful energy he had conjured. Lan Wangji had assumed the same. He had to admit that when he had gone to the Burial Mounds, it had half been in hope that he would have found Wei Wuxian there. But when he found A-Yuan, hope of that had died. Wei Wuxian would not have left the child there, sick and helpless.

Now he suddenly realized that he could have made a mistake. What if he had gotten to the Burial Mounds before Wei Wuxian? He would have been injured, possibly confused. What if he had taken A-Yuan away before Wei Wuxian had had a chance to get to him?

He realized he was just staring at Wei Wuxian, and jolted back to himself when A-Yuan started shaking Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. “Wake up, a-die, wake up!” the boy said, and Lan Wangji gently pulled him back before pressing his fingers into Wei Wuxian’s throat. A pulse thudded beneath them, weak and irregular but very much there.

Without further hesitation, he gathered Wei Wuxian into his arms and picked him up. “A-Yuan, follow behind me,” he said, and headed back to the cabin at as brisk a pace as he thought A-Yuan could keep up with.

Once inside, he lay Wei Wuxian down on the bed and started water boiling before sitting down beside him and touching his forehead. As he had feared, he was raging with fever. His hands and feet were freezing, but the rest of his skin was far too warm.

Fortunately, Lan Xichen had included some medicinal herbs in his supplies. Since A-Yuan had recently recovered from a fever, it was a sensible precaution in case of a relapse. Lan Wangji busied himself making tea and realized his hands were shaking. He forced himself to stop and take a deep breath, reminded himself to focus on what he was doing. Whatever he wanted to feel or say could be dealt with after he had tended to Wei Wuxian’s condition.

While the tea was steeping, he examined Wei Wuxian’s feet. Wei Wuxian twitched and groaned slightly when he touched them. He put some medicinal ointment on them but otherwise let them be. Then he hesitated. It was possible that Wei Wuxian had other injuries. It had been over a week since he had fallen from the cliff. A lot could have happened in that time period, to say nothing of the injuries from the fall itself.

He took a deep breath and told himself that Wei Wuxian’s clothes would need to be changed anyway. The ones he was wearing were filthy and freezing. He grabbed a clean robe from his closet and undressed Wei Wuxian with his eyes squeezed mostly shut. Fortunately, although there were a lot of bruises, he saw no other serious injuries. He carefully got him into the new robe and then lay him back down.

Dressed in the clean robe, with his hair swept back out of his face, he looked more like the Wei Wuxian that Lan Wangji remembered. His skin was still quite pale, his eyes sunken and his lips dry and cracked. But he no longer looked like a ghost.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said quietly, kneeling beside the bed with the cup of tea. He put the back of his hand on Wei Wuxian’s cheek. This met with no response. He gently shook his shoulder, but again got no response. “Wei Ying,” he said more urgently, shaking him harder.

Wei Wuxian groaned, and his eyes fluttered open. It looked like he tried to say something, but his throat was too hoarse.

“Do not try to talk,” Lan Wangji said. “Drink.” He held the cup to Wei Wuxian’s mouth. He drank the tea without complaint and then his eyes immediately closed again.

“A-die sick?” A-Yuan asked, coming up to Lan Wangji’s elbow.

“Yes,” Lan Wangji said, placing his hand over Wei Wuxian’s heart, letting his spiritual energy seep into the other man. “But he will get better.”

Everything would get better.

~ ~ ~ ~

Jiang Yanli wasn’t sure who was more panicked when she woke up inside the tomb: herself, or the woman cleaning the coffin.

There was a lot of screaming.

Fortunately for her, if unfortunately for the servant, the lid of the coffin was wood, and easily pushed aside. So when she woke and burst out of it like a terrifying monster, she was at least able to free herself. But only from the coffin. She was promptly trapped in the tomb itself, as the servant ran screaming, barring the doors behind her.

“Let me out!” Jiang Yanli cried, pounding on the door. “Please, let me out!”

After what seemed like a small eternity, but was in reality only about ten minutes, the door creaked open again. She was greeted by eight cultivators from both the Jin and the Jiang sects, all of whom had their swords drawn. She looked around for Jiang Cheng or Wei Wuxian and did not see them. In fact, she saw nobody she knew at all for the first moment, until her gaze finally landed on Jin Guangyao. “Where am I?” she asked tearfully.

“What are you?” Jin Guangyao countered, looking at her closely. “You don’t have any resentful energy . . . I don’t think you’re a demon. But you’re far too solid to be a ghost . . .”

Later, Jiang Yanli would feel silly that she couldn’t immediately put the pieces together. She had woken up in a coffin; the cultivators were pointing their swords at her. Yet she didn’t remember her death. The last thing she recalled was the violence breaking out; everything after that was blurry and fragmented. “Why would you think I’m a demon?”

Jin Guangyao continued to study her. It was a little unnerving, honestly. She looked around again to see if she could see either of her brothers, whose presence she would have very much welcomed. Finally, he said, “What is the last thing you remember?”

“Ah . . . the fighting broke out, and I . . .” Jiang Yanli looked around the tomb, slowly putting pieces together. She laid her hand over her chest where she suddenly remembered a knife protruding from it. With a gasp, she turned so they could not see her, and peeled aside her robe to look. Her skin was unmarked. “What happened? Where are my brothers, where is A-Ling? Where am I? This isn’t the Jiang family tomb . . .”

“No,” Jin Guangyao said, “you were interred in the Jin family tomb, after your death. That was several days ago.”

Jiang Yanli stared at him.

“Please,” Jin Guangyao said, and gestured for her to take a seat. “You understand that we will need to thoroughly examine you, while we determine whether or not it is safe for you to leave the tomb?”

Jiang Yanli swallowed her tears and summoned up all her strength. She nodded and sat down primly. “Of course.”

It took hours. Nobody could figure out what had happened or why she was back among the living, but everything they tried continued to indicate that she was a living human being. Not a ghost, not a fierce corpse, not a demon. Just a living woman.

“You really don’t remember what happened?” Jin Guangyao asked, and she shook her head. He nodded a little and said, “I have summoned Jiang-zongzhu. He was planning to leave for Lotus Pier today, but I don’t think he had gone yet. As for Wei Wuxian . . . I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but he died during the battle.”

“I see,” Jiang Yanli whispered, feeling tears sting at her eyes. It didn’t surprise her, honestly. From the very little she remembered, there had only been one possible conclusion. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt, but she pushed back the anguish and instead said, “Where is A-Ling?”

“Jin-furen has been taking care of him,” Jin Guangyao said. “Once we have determined that it is safe, you will be reunited with him promptly.”

“Thank you,” Jiang Yanli said.

“A-jie!” Jiang Cheng practically threw people out of his way in his rush to the tomb, grabbing her by the shoulders. Tears were streaming down his face, and he looked genuinely terrible. Pale, with bags under his eyes, clothes askew and hair unbrushed. “A-jie, is it really you?”

“I think so,” Jiang Yanli said.

Quietly, Jin Guangyao said, “As far as we have been able to determine, she is a living human woman. There’s no sign of any yin energy on her.”

Jiang Cheng practically crushed his sister into a hug, sobbing into her shoulder. The remaining Jin clan members were quickly shooed away by Jin Guangyao to give them some privacy. Jiang Yanli hugged him tightly, rubbing his back and smoothing down his hair.

After several long minutes, he pulled away and looked around to make sure that all the Jin cultivators were gone. “A-jie, I think . . .” He swallowed hard and lowered his voice. “I think I did this.”

Jiang Yanli blinked at him. “What? What do you mean? How?”

Jiang Cheng swallowed hard and closed his eyes, resting his forehead against her shoulder. “My golden core,” he whispered. “It’s gone again.”

~ ~ ~ ~

He knew one thing and one thing only when he woke: that he was surprised.

He hadn’t expected to wake. He wasn’t sure what he had expected, but this definitely was not it. A soft bed. Warm blankets. An aching body. The gentle sound of music, a song that was strangely familiar even though he could not recall having ever heard it before. Which was probably, he thought, because he could recall nothing.

He managed to open his eyes and look around. The room was sparsely furnished and even more barely decorated. He could see snow piling up on the windowsill. Across the room was a man wearing a simple set of robes, pale blue, playing the familiar song. The man was also familiar, in a way that tugged at the heart but not at the mind.

“A-die!” a young voice said, and a small boy crawled up onto the bed with him. The music abruptly stopped as he tried to sit up. “Lan Zhan, a-die’s awake!”

“Wei Ying,” the man said, hurrying over and sitting down next to the bed.

He took in a number of facts. His name was Wei Ying. The other man was Lan Zhan. The boy was apparently his son. That was the beginning, middle, and end of his knowledge.

“Where are we?” he whispered, as Lan Zhan helped him sit up and held a cup of tea to his lips. He drank thirstily.

“Cloud Recesses. The back hills.”

The words might as well have been gibberish. They meant nothing to him. He looked around a little bit more as he drank. Should he say something? It was impolite to pretend, he assumed. But he was wary of the situation, an ingrained sense of mistrust that he could not say why he had awoken with. Should he hide his memory loss? Should he say nothing?

“How are you feeling?” Lan Zhan asked.

“Sore,” Wei Ying said, stretching carefully. “Tired.”

“Your fever was very high, and lasted several days,” Lan Zhan told him. “But it’s broken now. Are you hungry?”

He realized that he was. “Starving, yeah.”

“I will get you something.” Lan Zhan swept to his feet, leaving Wei Ying with the boy, who had curled up in the crook of his arm and was playing with a paper butterfly. Wei Ying realized he didn’t know the boy’s name. He’d had a fever. Was that the cause of the memory loss?

Lan Zhan came back a moment later with some rice and a bowl of broth. He had to help Wei Ying hold the spoon; his limbs were still weak and shaky.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan finally said, “what happened?”

“Ah . . .” Wei Ying winced. “I don’t remember.”

Lan Zhan frowned at him. He looked almost skeptical.

“No, I really, really don’t remember,” Wei Ying said. “I don’t remember anything.”

“Anything?” Lan Zhan’s frown deepened. “After Nightless City - ”

“Let me stop you right there,” Wei Ying said, holding up a trembling hand. “I’m not exaggerating. I wouldn’t have known my own name is Wei Ying if you hadn’t told me. I don’t know where Nightless City is, or Cloud Recesses, for that matter. I don’t know who you are, or who this little boy is, although I guess he must be my son, since he’s calling me a-die. When I say anything, I mean everything.”

Lan Zhan stared at him for several long moments. Then he took a deep breath and seemed to regain some composure. “As I said, your fever was quite high. It seems likely that your memories will return gradually over the next few days.”

Wei Ying nodded and went back to his soup. “So you’re Lan Zhan?”

“. . . yes.”

“And this is?”

“A-Yuan. Your son.”

Wei Ying took another swallow. “Where’s his mother?”

“Gone. He’s not your natural child, but an orphan you took in after his parents were killed. You were raising him with the help of his grandmother, who is now also gone.”

“Shit luck, kid,” Wei Ying said, and A-Yuan giggled.

“Language,” Lan Zhan muttered.

Wei Ying laughed. “He’s probably heard worse from me, if I was raising him. How did I get so sick? I’m sore everywhere.”

“You fell,” Lan Zhan said. “From a great height.”

“Guess we’ve both got bad luck, then,” Wei Ying said. “Like father, like son.” He finished the broth and set to the rice, and groaned. “How does rice taste so good? I feel like I haven’t eaten in weeks.”

“You might not have,” Lan Zhan said. “You were lost for some time after your fall. That is why I asked what happened. We looked for you at the bottom of the cliff but could not find you.” He reached out and gently felt at the back of Wei Ying’s head, in a way that gave him goosebumps. “You must have hit your head and wandered out of our range of search.”

“How many days was I missing?” Wei Ying asked.

“Twelve.”

“Oh, wow. Guess I’m tougher than I look.” Wei Ying looked at the happily playing child and said, “Thanks for looking after him for me.”

Lan Zhan nodded and said nothing.

As much as he was enjoying the rice, he was too tired to finish it. When his eyes started sagging, Lan Zhan took the bowl out of his hands and helped him lie down. He felt like he had a hundred questions, but couldn’t make any of them into a format that made sense. He was dimly aware of A-Yuan curling up at his side, hugging his leg. Sleep started to overcome him, and he let it. Surely he would remember everything when he woke again.

~ ~ ~ ~

Chapter Text

Nobody in Koi Tower could figure out what had happened, but there was one thing everyone was relatively certain of: Jiang Cheng was the one who had done it.

They had called in the wisest scholars from all over Lanling. None of them had heard of a spell that could sacrifice one’s golden core to bring back the dead, but several of them thought that it could be done, at least theoretically. Many of them were fascinated by the process through which Jiang Cheng had regained his golden core in the first place, and asked him a lot of questions about it.

“Do you remember doing it, though?” Jiang Yanli asked him, rocking A-Ling to sleep. “Whatever spell it was?”

“No . . . but the last five days are so blurry. It was like a waking nightmare.” Jiang Cheng wouldn’t look at her. “You were all I had left and suddenly you were gone too.”

Jiang Yanli reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “I’m here now, A-Cheng.”

“You’re more than here.” He gave her a weak smile. “You’re the sect leader.”

“What? No,” Jiang Yanli said, more out of reflex than actual disagreement.

“I don’t have my golden core anymore,” Jiang Cheng said. “I can’t be the sect leader now. There’s nobody else left. It has to be you, a-jie.”

Jiang Yanli had never in her life thought about becoming the sect leader. Her cultivation wasn’t that strong, especially not compared to her brother’s or either of her parents’. The Jiang sect would never be powerful under her command, she thought, but they could be good again. “A-Cheng . . . why would you give up your golden core? I know how important cultivation was to you. I remember seeing you after you lost it the first time. It was like you had nothing left to live for.”

“I felt the same after you died,” Jiang Cheng said. “What’s the point in having a golden core if I don’t use it when it’s needed?”

She sighed. “I suppose there’s no point in arguing with that,” she said.

Something still seemed wrong to her, but A-Ling had fallen asleep, and she put it out of her mind.

~ ~ ~ ~

For the first time in his life, Lan Wangji did not fall asleep at exactly nine o’clock.

The tiny cabin was silent. A-Yuan slept peacefully, curled up next to Wei Wuxian. The little boy was overjoyed to have his father back, and it had taken a lot of effort to get the child to leave him alone to sleep while he was recovering from his illness. Lan Wangji felt like he had run a hundred miles in the past week, but for some reason, he could not sleep.

Wei Wuxian didn’t remember anything.

Wei Wuxian didn’t remember him.

And Lan Wangji could not decide whether or not that was a bad thing.

Part of him thought that it wasn’t. That it was better for Wei Wuxian to remember nothing of all the horror of his life. Perhaps this Wei Wuxian would be able to heal.

Part of him ached for things to be different. For the recognition in Wei Wuxian’s eyes when their gazes met. For the man who knew him, better than anybody else except possibly his brother, and lately maybe even better than that.

What is just? What is evil? What is black? What is white?

Lan Wangji lay awake until dawn.

Just after the sun rose, A-Yuan began to stir. Lan Wangji got out of bed despite the sleepless night and busied himself with the morning tasks. There was relief in the routine of it. Drawing water, starting the fire, making tea, bathing A-Yuan and then himself, making breakfast.

As they finished their meal – A-Yuan was getting better at ‘silent meal time’ but still had a long way to go – there was a quiet knock on the door.

Lan Wangji had thought endlessly over the three days that Wei Wuxian had been ill about how he was going to handle his brother’s next visit. The truth was, he doubted his brother would interfere. And honestly, there was no real place to hide Wei Wuxian in the cabin. If it had been summer, he could have waited outside while Lan Xichen was there, but it was winter, and he was still weak and sick. But at the same time, he could not bring himself to take any risks. Just because Lan Xichen probably wouldn’t interfere was not enough. He drew a screen to hide the bed from view and murmured to A-Yuan, “Go lie down with a-die, like we talked about.”

A-Yuan nodded solemnly and trotted behind the screen. Lan Wangji went and opened the door, taking the crate of supplies from Lan Xichen. “Good morning, Wangji,” Lan Xichen said. “I hope you are well?”

Lan Wangji nodded. “Please keep your voice low,” he said. “A-Yuan is still sleeping. His fever returned a few days ago. Thank you for the medicines you provided.”

Lan Xichen nodded. He helped Lan Wangji unpack the supplies from the crate. “Then perhaps we should go outside to talk? The chill is not bad today, and there is some news I think you will want.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Lan Wangji nodded. He stepped outside with his brother. “What is it?”

In a carefully even tone, Lan Xichen said, “It seems that Jiang Yanli has been resurrected.”

Lan Wangji’s jaw sagged slightly, unable to keep the shock off his face. “What? How?”

“Nobody knows for sure yet. There are many theories but no firm answers.” Lan Xichen looked at the door to the cabin as if he were looking at the screen inside. “This actually happened almost a week ago now. I apologize for not telling you sooner, but I wanted to confirm my suspicions first. I went to the Burial Mounds.” He hesitated, then said, “I believe Wei-gongzi might have survived his fall.”

Lan Wangji studied his brother for a long minute before he let out an imperceptible sigh. “You might as well come back inside, then.”

A faint smile touched Lan Xichen’s face, as if he was pleased to have been proven right about something. He followed Lan Wangji back inside.

“You can come out, A-Yuan,” Lan Wangji said, and drew the screen back to reveal where Wei Wuxian was sleeping.

A-Yuan scrambled up off the bed, saw Lan Xichen, and immediately glommed onto his leg. “Soft man!”

Lan Xichen smiled at the boy. “Hello, A-Yuan. Are you minding your a-die?”

“He’s just been sleeping, boo,” A-Yuan said, and Lan Xichen laughed quietly.

“Clean up the breakfast dishes,” Lan Wangji told him, and A-Yuan began to do so. “What did you find at the Burial Mounds?”

“The remains of an array to reverse death,” Lan Xichen said. “It was incredibly powerful. I don’t know if he invented it or if he found it somewhere. It was so strong that I didn’t feel safe copying it all onto the same page. I put parts of it in three separate books. But the price that would be paid . . . there is a part of me that expected to find him here, but also a part of me that thought he would have been completely obliterated.”

“What was the price?” Lan Wangji asked.

“I had never seen it used in a spell this way, but the best translation I have would either be life, or a reason to live.”

Lan Wangji closed his eyes for a long moment. “Wei Ying has lost all his memories. I thought it might have been because of the fever, but now I suspect it might be something else.”

“Hm . . . I can see how that would be one interpretation of the price, yes. It did, in a way, take his entire life from him.” Lan Xichen gazed at the figure on the bed contemplatively. “I’m not sure that is such a bad thing, Wangji. After everything he lived through . . . I fear that at the end, he really wasn’t sane.”

“I know,” Lan Wangji said. “I’ve been trying not to think of it. It feels selfish to hope that his memories don’t return. To hope that we can be . . .” He felt his cheeks flush pink, but he had always been honest and open with his brother. “Together, in a way that we couldn’t be, before.”

Lan Xichen nodded. “I’ll start bringing extra supplies.”

“Thank you, xiongzhang.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Wei Ying woke to the smell of cooking food and an urgent need to use the facilities. He managed to sit up on his own and push the blankets back, but then groaned as soon as he tried to put weight on his feet. Lan Zhan, who was across the room tending to the food, whipped around. “Do not try to get up,” he said, almost a snap. “You were badly hurt.”

“Yeah, I’m getting that, but I’ve gotta go,” Wei Ying said.

“There is nowhere you need to - ”

“No, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said, and waved at his lower half. “I’ve gotta go.”

“Oh.” Lan Zhan took the food off the fire and said, “Then I will assist you.”

There was a small bathroom attached to the house, and Wei Ying limped into it. It was colder than the rest of the house, and he shivered. Outside, the snow had stopped. He looked out the window and saw nothing but pristine snow-covered forest as far as the eye could see.

Once he had used the facilities and washed his face, Lan Zhan helped him back into bed, and he was glad to return to it. “Is any of that for me?” he asked hopefully.

“Yes,” Lan Zhan said. “It will be ready shortly. Meditate on your healing.”

Wei Ying made a face at him but folded his hands on his chest and did his best. It lasted two minutes before A-Yuan was crawling onto the bed with him. “A-die, look what Lan Zhan made me,” he said, holding up a new paper butterfly.

“It’s very nice,” Wei Ying said, smiling at the child. “You’re going to have a whole flock of them soon. If you’re not careful, you’ll turn into one yourself.”

“Nuh uh,” A-Yuan said. “I can’t be a butterfly. I’m a radish.”

Wei Ying laughed. “Oh, you’re a radish, are you? That’s too bad for you. If we get hungry in this little house all by ourselves, someone might eat you.”

“Nooooo,” A-Yuan protested.

Wei Ying lifted the boy’s arm to his mouth and play bit at the wrist. “Uh oh, bad news, A-Yuan - I think you’re pretty tasty.”

“A-die, noooooo!” A-Yuan protested harder, laughing.

Wei Ying was suddenly aware of the fact that Lan Zhan was staring at the two of them. He offered him a sunny smile and said, “What about you, Lan Zhan? Do you like radish?”

Lan Zhan flushed pink for no particular reason that Wei Ying could discern, and turned back to the food. A few minutes later, he put a tray down in front of Wei Ying and said, “You’re feeling better.”

Wei Ying nodded and set to the food with an appetite. It was bland, but he was hungry and didn’t care. “Just needed to sleep off the fever, I guess.”

“Don’t speak while you’re eating.”

“You asked me a question!”

“I did not.”

Wei Ying laughed. “No, I guess you didn’t.”

They sat in silence for a moment before Lan Zhan said quietly, “It is good to see you smile again.”

Wei Ying felt a blush rising to his own cheeks, and what was that about? He was beginning to feel suspicious about this whole thing, this cabin in the middle of the woods, this little boy who was being taken care of by a man who clearly wasn’t related to him in any way, the forest that went for miles around them. “Ah, Lan Zhan . . .”

“Eat.”

Seeing that he wouldn’t get anywhere until after he had eaten, Wei Ying shoveled the food into his mouth as quickly as he could. Lan Zhan looked a bit aggrieved at that, but didn’t actively object. When he was done, he said, “Delicious! Thank you!”

Lan Zhan looked skeptical.

Wei Ying didn’t give him a chance to call his own cooking skill into question. “So, I have a question. Yesterday, when I asked where we were, you said the back hills of Cloud Recesses. Not just ‘Cloud Recesses’. So I feel like that should mean something to me, but it doesn’t. And,” he continued, seeing Lan Zhan’s eyes narrow, “you also didn’t say ‘home’ or ‘my home’ or ‘your home’ which means this isn’t where either of us normally lives. This place looks pretty isolated. So what does it mean that we’re in the back hills?” He saw that Lan Zhan was hesitating and pointed out, “You were willing to tell me yesterday. Why not today?”

“Yesterday, I thought you would know what it meant.”

Wei Ying shrugged. “All the more reason that it’s fine to tell me now.”

After a moment, Lan Zhan sighed. “I will tell you,” he said, “once A-Yuan is down for his afternoon nap.”

Wei Ying hesitated. “Does anybody else know I’m here?”

“Only my brother, who brings me supplies.”

“Should anyone else know I’m here?” Wei Ying remembered everything Lan Zhan had said about how he had fallen, how they had looked for him, how he had been missing for twelve days. “Does anyone else even know that I’m alive?”

Lan Zhan wouldn’t look at him. “We will talk about this once A-Yuan is down for his afternoon nap.”

Seeing that he wasn’t going to get anywhere else, Wei Ying said, “Okay, well, in that case . . . seconds?”

Lan Zhan nodded and took his empty plate.

Wei Ying had slept most of the morning, so it was only about an hour before a fussy A-Yuan was being ushered into his bed. Wei Ying watched how well Lan Zhan handled him, how the child clearly adored him, and felt his suspicions grow. He had so many questions that he wasn’t sure where to start.

Finally, Lan Zhan sat down across from him, folding his legs underneath himself. “Cloud Recesses is my home,” he said, “but to be in the back hills is to be in seclusion. That is the purpose of this cabin. The reasons for my being in seclusion are complex.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Wei Ying said, waving at his surroundings.

Lan Zhan still hesitated. “Your memory loss . . . I have begun to think it was not a bad thing. The events that I would have to explain were horrible. You went through considerable trauma. Perhaps it is better if you don’t remember.”

“Maybe,” Wei Ying said, “but remembering and knowing are two different things.”

“Perhaps,” Lan Zhan said, refusing to commit further.

Wei Ying sighed. “How about this - let me ask you the questions I feel like I really, absolutely need to know the answers to. Maybe we can skip over some of the worst of it, if you really feel like it’s that bad.”

He saw some of the tension go out of Lan Zhan’s shoulders, and inwardly winced. Maybe it really was that bad. “Very well.”

Wei Ying took a deep breath and thought about it for a moment. “Do I have any other family?”

“Yes. A brother and a sister, and a nephew, still a baby.”

“Do they know where I am?”

“No.”

“Do they know I’m alive?”

“No.”

Wei Ying chewed on this for a few moments. “But if I ask why not, you won’t want to answer, will you,” he said, and Lan Zhan said nothing. “Try to look at this from my point of view, Lan Zhan. I feel like I should know you, but I don’t. You seem like a good guy, and you’ve clearly been taking care of my son and tending my injuries and everything. I don’t have any reason to suspect you’re not on the level. But if I have a brother and a sister who think I’m dead, I want to know why.”

Lan Zhan closed his eyes for a long moment, looking like he was in pain. “Wei Ying,” he finally said, “before I tell you everything, I need to tell you one thing in particular, which may change your mind.” He took a deep breath. “Your fall from the cliff . . . it was not accidental. You jumped. That is how awful this story is. That is how much pain you were in. What you endured drove you past the point of sanity. Now you are asking me to risk losing you again, after I only just got you back.”

There was a long silence. Wei Ying thought about that. It was difficult to comprehend. Since waking, he’d had a vague feeling of melancholy, a hollow sense of loss that lingered in his chest and stomach. But he didn’t remember what had caused it, so it had been easy to ignore. He couldn’t imagine jumping to his own death. Couldn’t imagine ever wanting that end. But Lan Zhan was clearly not lying. The pain and grief in his voice could not be denied.

“Lan Zhan . . .” he finally said. “How did I get here? You said you didn’t know what had happened to me.”

“I don’t. I looked for you. Many people looked for you. I went to your home and found A-Yuan. It was at that point that I was sure you were dead, because you had not come back for him. So I brought him here and went into seclusion to mourn your loss. But several days later, A-Yuan found you in the snow.”

The words brought brief flashes to him. Confusion, pain, cold. Walking and walking and walking. A driving need to get somewhere, to get to someone. Knowing nothing except that there was somebody he needed to find.

As confusing as the fragments of memory were, they brought some clarity to him. After a long moment, he nodded. “I found you,” he said. “I came here because I knew it would be safe here. That you would help me and protect me. I think . . . I have to trust that. So if you don’t want to tell me anything, Lan Zhan, I won’t force you.”

Tension went out of Lan Zhan’s shoulders in a rush. He nodded, and said in a voice that was clearly forced out of a tightened throat, “Thank you.”

“Can I ask one more question, though?” Wei Ying asked, and Lan Zhan nodded. “I found you. You took care of me; you took care of my son. I feel like we’re . . . but I don’t know, so I have to ask. What are we? To each other?”

Lan Zhan’s hands, resting on his thighs, trembled slightly. But his voice was steady as he said, “We’re cultivation partners.”

“Okay,” Wei Ying said, and Lan Zhan’s glance darted up to him. “That’s sort of what I thought. And, I mean, it explains a lot.”

Lan Zhan blinked. “What does it explain?”

Wei Ying thought about it. “Why I want to crawl into your lap and live there?”

Lan Zhan went pink all the way up to the tips of his ears. “Wei Ying!”

“What!” Wei Ying laughed. “You just said we’re cultivation partners! That means we’re soulmates and we’ll always walk the same path, right? So what if I want to be in your lap. I wanna be in your lap right now, in fact - ”

“Do not attempt to get out of bed. You are healing.”

“I’ll heal better in your lap.”

“You are being ridiculous.”

“I stick to my strengths,” Wei Ying said, feeling cheerful again. He grabbed Lan Zhan by the wrist and gave him a tug. “Come on. We’re clearly not going anywhere; there’s two feet of snow on the ground. A-Yuan will be asleep at least an hour, right? Let me be in your lap for a little while, after finding out that I jumped off a cliff.”

Surprising him, Lan Zhan sighed and allowed Wei Ying to tug him up onto the bed and curl up in his lap, and even brushed Wei Ying’s hair out of his face. He sighed in contentment and decided that Lan Zhan was probably right. He neither wanted nor needed to know about his previous life. This life would just suit him just fine.

~ ~ ~ ~

Jiang Yanli was, to put it bluntly, getting really sick of the Jin Clan’s bullshit.

She was fine. Everyone agreed. It had been two weeks, and she was fine, and they still wouldn’t let her out of their sight, let alone agree to let her go back to Lotus Pier with A-Ling. She heard the words ‘just a precaution’ so many times that she could hear them in her sleep.

She had never particularly liked Koi Tower, and what little charm it had held for her had been extinguished with her husband’s death. She was desperately homesick, and on top of that, she was worried for Jiang Cheng. With the immediate relief and joy at Jiang Yanli’s resurrection now fading, the loss of his golden core seemed to hit him harder each day. Jiang Yanli urged him to go back to Lotus Pier himself, if the Jin clan would not let her leave yet, but he resisted. “What can I do there?” he asked. “Now that I’m just an average person?”

To be honest, Jiang Yanli was also getting a little sick of her self-pitying brother. He moped around and acted like everything was pointless, like the idea of living the rest of his years as an average person was a worse fate than death. It aggravated her, but it also kept driving home to her that she could not imagine Jiang Cheng making this choice. She could not imagine him giving up his golden core for any reason, even to bring her back to life. Cultivation was so important to him. Rebuilding the Jiang clan after their father’s death was all he had cared about for the past few years.

But there really was no way to argue, because there was no alternative explanation that she could come up with. The timing all but confirmed that Jiang Cheng had done exactly what he said, even if he didn’t remember doing it. After all, who else could have done it?

If anybody would know what might have happened, she thought, it would be Lan Qiren. He was universally acknowledged as one of the wisest, most well-educated cultivators in the world. But it was clear that asking to go to Cloud Recesses wasn’t going to go over any better than asking to go to Lotus Pier. The Jin clan was basically holding her hostage.

No, she realized after some thought, that was not exactly true. The Jin clan couldn’t care less where she went. They only cared about A-Ling, and she was not willing to leave without him, not even for a brief trip. She was terrified that if she left, they would take it as a sign that something was wrong with her, that she had come back different, that she should not be allowed to raise her child. She had nightmares where she woke up and he was gone, and checked on him frequently at night.

She wondered what her mother would do. Yu Ziyuan had often looked at her like she was a disappointment, like she could not imagine how this sweet, timid girl was her daughter. But all of the fire she might have inherited from her mother had been smothered out of her while she was still a child. Fighting back, talking back, anything other than compliance was met with anger, sharp slaps and even sharper words. She was Yu Ziyuan’s daughter, but she was not Yu Ziyuan.

“Perhaps,” she said softly at breakfast, “if you are still concerned about my well-being, we could continue to consult experts . . . is it possible Lan Qiren might be able to offer his expert opinion?”

“What an excellent idea, A-Li,” Madame Jin said. “If anybody would know, it would be him. A trip to Cloud Recesses might indeed be in order.”

“Is it safe to travel with a baby so young?” Jiang Yanli asked, wanting to make it clear that she was not leaving A-Ling behind.

Madame Jin patted her hand. “Babies are much tougher than most people give them credit for, dear. But if you don’t want to bring him, you could leave him with me.”

“No, I would not go without him,” Jiang Yanli said. “I am his mother and caring for him is the most important thing in the world to me.”

Madame Jin smiled at her. Jin Guangshan huffed at his end of the table but said he supposed it would be acceptable, at which point Jin Guangyao leapt into action to arrange the trip. “I’ll send a message to er-ge to let him know we’re coming.”

“You’ll accompany her, then?” Jin Guangshan asked, then grunted, “Good. Cloud Recesses in the winter - I would prefer to miss it.”

Jiang Yanli didn’t bother to point out that Jin Guangyao would throw himself in front of a carriage if it gave him an excuse to go see Lan Xichen. She wondered if Jin Guangshan paid any attention to his son at all, then realized that the answer was quite obviously no, and didn’t say anything further about it. “Thank you very much for accompanying me, Jin-gongzi.”

“It’s no trouble at all,” Jin Guangyao said, showing his perfect dimples. “Do you think Jiang-zongzhu will want to accompany us?”

“I will ask him,” Jiang Yanli said.

After breakfast, she went and found Jiang Cheng, still in his guest house, even still in bed. “Why are you still sleeping?” she asked, opening the shades. “The sun has been up for hours. Are you not hungry? I can cook you something . . .”

“No,” Jiang Cheng said. “Not really.”

Jiang Yanli sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. He rolled over so he couldn’t have to look at her. “A-Cheng,” she said gently. “You cannot keep on like this. I know that I can never understand the loss you’re going through. But I hate to see you so unhappy, and lying here and dwelling on the pain is clearly not helping you. You chose to - ”

Jiang Cheng sat up abruptly and threw his pillow across the room, startling her. “I should never have had to make that choice! It’s all Wei Wuxian’s fault - I hope that son of a bitch is burning in Hell - ”

“A-Cheng!” Jiang Yanli protested, horrified. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do! I do mean that!” Jiang Cheng lurched out of bed, folding his arms over his stomach and pacing in an agitated manner. “It’s all his fault, damn him! I wouldn’t have had to give up my golden core if you hadn’t died, and you wouldn’t have died if he hadn’t - if he hadn’t - ” He let out a hoarse sob. “From the beginning, everything was his fault. I hope his death was as miserable as his life was. I wish I’d been able to crush his bones and burn his body to ash!”

“A-Cheng,” Jiang Yanli protested again, but then felt her blood run cold. “Wait . . . what did happen to A-Xian’s body?”

Jiang Cheng shook his head, his jaw set in a sulk. “His body must have been torn apart by the resentful energy. We never found anything besides his flute.”

Jiang Yanli felt sick as a hundred questions occurred to her. She felt so sure that Jiang Cheng would never sacrifice his golden core, not for anything, not even for her. So if he hadn’t, why was it gone? Was Wei Wuxian capable of such a thing? Using his own brother’s golden core to bring her back to life? By the end, was there really anything that Wei Wuxian hadn’t been capable of anymore?

Finally, she stood up. “The Jin clan is going to have me examined by Lan Qiren. If he confirms that I’m truly alive, I think I will be allowed to go back to Lotus Pier with A-Ling. Will you come to Cloud Recesses with me?”

Jiang Cheng shook his head. “I’m not welcome there and we both know it.”

This being absolutely true, Jiang Yanli nodded. “Then you should go back to Lotus Pier. Even without your golden core, you are the head of the Clan. Don’t argue with me,” she added, seeing that Jiang Cheng was about to do just that. “You’re needed there. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

After a long pause, Jiang Cheng sighed and flung himself back down onto his bed. “Fine.”

Jiang Yanli left him there to wallow, leaving the room and closing her eyes. “Oh, A-Xian,” she whispered. “What have you done?”

~ ~ ~ ~

Chapter Text

Over the next few days, Wei Ying learned things about himself in bits and pieces, as he hit upon questions that Lan Zhan was willing to answer.

“How old am I?”

“Twenty-two. I am twenty-three.”

That was pretty young to be throwing himself off a cliff, Wei Ying thought, but didn’t mention that. He tried to stay away from anything that might hurt.

“How did I know A-Yuan’s parents?”

“You didn’t. You met his grandmother after they died.” Seeing Wei Ying’s next question coming, Lan Zhan added, “That was about a year and a half ago now.”

“How did they die?” Wei Ying asked, and Lan Zhan simply shook his head, his signal that this stepped too close to the matters he was not willing to discuss. “Was it my fault?”

Lan Zhan looked up at that, but his voice was even. “No.”

“Okay.”

He could read music, he discovered on the second day, and his fingers itched to play along with what Lan Zhan was playing on his guqin. “I think I played the flute. Did I play the flute?”

“Yes. And you had one you had carved yourself, but it was lost in the fall. Once the snow has cleared, we can get some bamboo and make you another.”

Wei Ying beamed at him.

The next day: “No, you are not allowed to help me cook.”

“A-die’s cooking’s baaaaaaad,” A-Yuan said, giggling. “Even popo wouldn’t eat it.”

“Hey, that’s – probably accurate, what do I know, but still!” Wei Ying tickled the boy under his chin. “It’s very rude to say so out loud!”

The next day, he met Lan Zhan’s older brother, Lan Xichen. He was calm and kind, and A-Yuan called him ‘soft man’ which was honestly just adorable. He came with some books and a crate of food, including a new tin of tea. When Lan Zhan asked, he reassured them that nobody knew Wei Ying was here and nobody had noticed he was taking extra food. Wei Ying was curious about why Lan Xichen was clearly fine with his presence, when he had gotten the impression that overall, people wouldn’t be, but he knew that question would be off limits.

The next day: “Hey, how long have we known each other?”

“About four years.”

“How did we meet?”

Lan Zhan didn’t look up from where he was practicing his calligraphy. “You came to attend cultivation seminars hosted by my uncle.”

“Was it love at first sight?”

“No. You were undisciplined, brash, arrogant, and annoying.”

Wei Ying laughed. “I think I’m still all of those things.”

At that, Lan Zhan did look up, with warmth in his eyes that made Wei Ying melt. “All but the last.”

He still wondered a little bit about their relationship, because Lan Zhan was, well, he didn’t want to say frigid? But physical affection didn’t seem to be a big part of their relationship, and he felt very weird about the idea of trying to initiate anything. Of course, he thought, Lan Zhan might feel weird about it too. They weren’t strangers, but they were, so he might assume, not unreasonably, that Wei Ying wanted more time to get to know him before they got into bed together. Of course, it could have also been that he was still weak from his long illness. It could have been a lot of things, but he hadn’t worked up to asking about it yet.

The next day: “Lan Zhan, I’m bored.”

“Meditate.”

“That’s your answer to everything. And it’s the wrong answer, by the way, because meditating is even more boring than just plain being bored.”

“The child is better at entertaining himself than you.”

“Listen, if I had hobbies, I don’t remember them! I’m not allowed to cook, I don’t have a flute yet, and I can’t take A-Yuan outside because it’s too cold and I’m supposed to be healing. None of the books your brother brought are interesting. What am I supposed to do with myself?”

He was half-teasing, half-serious, and one hundred percent not expecting a real answer. But Lan Zhan handed him a sheaf of paper and said, “Draw. You were quite good at drawing.”

“Oh, was I?” Wei Ying smiled and said, “Okay. I’ll draw you and A-Yuan, then.”

The next day, he woke up early for the first time since his fever had broken, early enough that Lan Zhan was just getting up for the day. He heard A-Yuan giggling as he splashed around in the little wooden tub. “Do not neglect your feet,” Lan Zhan said. Wei Ying lay in bed, smiling to himself, just listening.

“Your turn, Lan Zhan!” the boy said a few minutes later, and that – that, Wei Ying opened his eyes for. Maybe that was rude or creepy, but he was still so curious about Lan Zhan, and the fact that they were cultivation partners but distant from each other in some very important ways. He figured, given everything that Lan Zhan had said so far, that he’d probably done worse things than sneak a look at his naked soulmate.

But what he saw made him completely forget what he had been intending to see.

Lan Zhan’s back was completely covered in scars. No, not even scars, wounds. They had to be only a few weeks old, a month at most. Although they looked like they were healing well, they had obviously been severe, and tended to with only the absolute minimum.

“Lan Zhan, what happened?” he blurted out, sitting up.

Lan Zhan whipped around so fast that he almost overbalanced, and just as quickly whipped his robe back on. “Why are you awake so early?”

“I just woke up. A-Yuan was making noise in the bath,” Wei Ying said. He was not about to be put off. “Those wounds look bad. And I know they must be at least a week old because I’ve been awake that long, and you’ve been here with me, but they’re still so raw. Was nothing done to tend them? They’re going to leave terrible scars.”

There was a long moment of silence. It was clear that Lan Zhan was deciding how much, if anything, he wanted to say. Finally, he said, “They were tended as they should have been. Scarring does not concern me.”

“Are they not still painful, though?” Wei Ying was wondering if somebody needed to have their ass kicked over this. “What do you mean, ‘as they should have been’? All wounds should be treated the same way.”

“No.” Another hesitation. “These were from discipline. Therefore, they were only minimally tended.”

“Discipline?” Wei Ying stared at his beautiful soulmate, so clearly perfect in every way. “What on earth could you have possibly done to deserve discipline like that?”

Lan Zhan looked away and shook his head. “This is something I do not wish to discuss.”

Wei Ying sighed. “Okay, well, I don’t care what you say, I’m going to heal them up a bit.” He reached out and put his hands on Lan Zhan’s shoulders, letting his spiritual power –

Letting his –

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said, his voice concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“I . . . nothing’s happening,” Wei Ying said, frowning. “I can’t . . . feel anything. I think . . .”

The silence in the cabin was suddenly very loud.

“Lan Zhan!” A-Yuan interrupted, hugging his leg. “The water’s bubbling!”

“Ah – ” Lan Zhan pulled away from Wei Ying’s hands. “Thank you, A-Yuan. I will make the tea.”

Wei Ying was still staring at his hands. Suddenly, he punched Lan Zhan in the shoulder. Lan Zhan’s only reaction was to arch his eyebrows at Wei Ying, as if to ask what that was for. “Did you feel that? I just hit you with all my spiritual power.”

Lan Zhan blinked. He looked away for a moment while he poured the hot water on top of the tea leaves. In a calm, almost bland voice, he said, “The difference between knowledge and memory is fascinating to me. You know what spiritual power is, and how to use it, yet not the reason you do not have any.”

Wei Ying was about to say something snappish, but then saw the way Lan Zhan’s hands trembled as he put the teapot down. Then he looked where Lan Zhan was looking – not at the tea, but at A-Yuan. He took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. “Let’s have breakfast,” he said.

They prepared the food and ate quickly, almost entirely in silence. A-Yuan leapt to his feet and asked, “Can I go play in the snow?”

“Yes, for a while. Bundle up,” Wei Ying said, and A-Yuan scrambled for his coat and the warm boots that Lan Xichen had bought for him. “Don’t leave sight of the window. We’re going to stay and watch from in here.”

“All right!” A-Yuan said, pulling on a hat before scampering out the door.

There was silence for a moment. Wei Ying said, “I was born with spiritual power, wasn’t I? I feel like I was. You said I was your cultivation partner, so I must have been a cultivator. Right?”

Lan Zhan nodded. “Before you ask,” he said, “I genuinely do not know when or how you lost . . .” His voice tightened but he kept the words even. “Your golden core. I can only take an educated guess.”

“Well, you’ve still got a better idea than I do,” Wei Ying said.

“A little over a month ago now, your sister was killed,” Lan Zhan said. “Your fall from the cliff was the same day – her death was the last inciting event that led to it. But between the time of your fall and the time I found you in the woods here, she was somehow brought back to life. My brother told me that he went to your home and found a powerful array there, to reverse death.” He took a deep breath and said, “The price would have been life . . . or a reason to live. I had thought that your memories were what you had paid. Now I am wondering if that’s true, or if it is true, if the price ended there.”

Wei Ying pressed his hand against his chest, feeling the emptiness there that he had noticed before, but hadn’t been able to name. Slowly, he said, “I . . . reversed death? I was that powerful?”

Lan Zhan nodded. “You were one of the strongest cultivators that I have ever met.”

“Were.” Wei Ying let out a breath. “Past tense.”

“Yes. But . . . it does not matter to me, if you are concerned about that. You are still remarkable in every way.”

“It doesn’t matter?” Wei Ying’s voice rose. “Without a golden core, I’m just average. I’ll age and then die while you still look like, like this.” He gestured to Lan Zhan. “What about that is okay with you?”

“Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan’s voice was low and steady. “I will find you in your next life, and the next, and the next. There is nothing that can come between us.”

Wei Ying let out a shaky breath. “That’s . . . that’s really romantic, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Zhan flushed pink and looked away. “It is only the truth.”

“But if – ” Wei Ying couldn’t keep the frustration out of his voice. “If I was willing to give up my golden core – willing to give up my life, because let’s face it, a spell like that could have torn me apart – to save my sister, why don’t you want her to know I’m alive?”

Lan Zhan closed his eyes for a long moment. “I would tell her if I could. But there is too much danger. If the wrong person were to find out.”

“Who?” Wei Ying demanded. “Lan Zhan, why? You can’t tell me I gave up my golden core for my sister but then not explain why I can’t see her. I know there were things you didn’t want me to know and I tried to accept that, but things are different now. You wouldn’t be any happier if our positions were reversed and I was leaving you in the dark.”

“No,” Lan Zhan admitted. “I would not be.” He poured them both a fresh cup of tea and looked out the window, watching A-Yuan pack snow into piles to make a castle. “Two years ago, there was a war. A clan named Wen attempted to subjugate all the other clans. It was brutal and bloody. We were not together at the time – we had met, but were not close then, as we are now. Cloud Recesses had been burned and I was trying to help here. In Yunmeng, where you are from, the Wen attacked with great force. Your parents were killed and your brother was captured.”

Wei Ying watched him and didn’t say anything, not wanting to interrupt what was clearly very difficult for Lan Zhan.

“Among the young masters and soldiers that the Wen clan sent to Yunmeng was a man named Wen Ning. You had met him before the war began and the two of you had become friends. Risking his own life, Wen Ning helped you rescue your brother and recover the bodies of your parents. But . . . something went wrong. You were separated from the others and went missing for three months. I still know very little about that period of your life. When you came back, you were different. Instead of being cheerful and cocky, you were cold and arrogant.”

Wei Ying tried to imagine it, and found it difficult. He searched his memory for any scrap of these parents of his that were killed, and came up blank. The lack of that memory bothered him more than hearing that they were murdered.

“With the combined force of the other clans, we won the war. But you had started to walk a different path from me. You dabbled in demonic cultivation, channeling resentful energy and controlling the dead.”

“I . . . oh,” Wei Ying said. “To win the war?”

“At first, yes. In your defense, you did not do anything unreasonable once the war had ended, until . . .” Lan Zhan’s voice softened. “The Jin clan had been rounding up any remnants of the Wen clan and putting them in discipline camps. Your friend Wen Ning, to whom you owed your life, was killed. You . . .”

“I lost my shit,” Wei Ying said, already seeing where this story was going.

“You brought him back as a fierce corpse, and he killed the men who had killed him. Then you took the other refugees and hid in the Burial Mounds, an area where most either would not or could not go. You restored Wen Ning’s consciousness, and you lived in peace for over a year. But the Jin clan was never willing to let it go. Your sister, Jiang Yanli, married the clan heir, Jin Zixuan. When her first child was born, they used it as a way to lure you into an ambush. Many people were killed . . . including Wen Ning and all the Wen refugees you had been protecting, as well as Jiang Yanli, and then, finally, you. Or at least, so I had thought.”

Wei Ying turned his memory over and over, searching for anything that remained, but there was still nothing. “You were right,” he said quietly. “It’s better that I forgot this.”

“I know. But I tell you this now so you can truly understand that there is no safe place for you besides here. At least for the next few years, while the world forgets about Wei Wuxian and his demonic cultivation and his . . .” Lan Zhan’s voice faltered for the first time. “I know your sister truly loved you until the end. But please. Wei Ying. It is not safe for you to see her. It is not safe for anybody to know that you survived besides myself and xiongzhang. I will not risk losing you again.”

After a long moment, Wei Ying nodded. “Was I really that bad? Everyone wants to kill me so much.”

“You were not bad,” Lan Zhan said. “You did bad things. Sometimes for good reasons, sometimes out of grief and pain. But that is not why they consider you an enemy. You challenged people who were in power, people who wanted to stay that way. You lacked respect for the existing hierarchy; you thought yourself above the other Clan Leaders. Not just because of your strength, but because you saw them as having a different morality. An incorrect morality.”

“What is just? What is evil?” Wei Ying murmured.

He could not say where the words came from, but Lan Zhan seemed to recognize them, speaking his next thought aloud. “What is black? What is white?”

They stood in silence. The tea had gone cold.

“Asking those questions is the reason I received these wounds,” Lan Zhan said. “You taught me to see the world in a way I had never seen before. And this,” he gestured to the cabin, “is how the world responded to those questions.” He took both of Wei Ying’s hands in his. “Wei Ying. Stay here with me, where I can protect you.”

Wei Ying felt tears sting at his eyes. He nodded and said, “Yes.”

Lan Zhan reached out and caressed Wei Ying’s cheek with his thumb. Wei Ying didn’t stop to think. He leaned into the touch and pressed his lips against Lan Zhan’s.

Somehow, he knew it was their first kiss. It wasn’t just the way Lan Zhan went tense next to him, or his quick intake of breath. It was just something he knew. “I will stay as long as you’ll have me,” he whispered against Lan Zhan’s mouth. When he pulled away, for the first time, he saw something more like heat than warmth in Lan Zhan’s eyes. His stomach jumped a bit nervously, as Lan Zhan returned the kiss.

“A-die! A-die!” A-Yuan burst into the cabin. “Lan Zhan! I made a snow bunny! Come see, come see!”

Wei Ying pulled away from Lan Zhan and laughed at the look of disappointment on his face. “A-die and Lan Zhan will be out in a minute, A-Yuan. We’ll have to get our boots on.”

“Okaaaay,” A-Yuan said, running back outside.

“Don’t worry,” Wei Ying said, to the look on Lan Zhan’s face, “we have all the time in the world.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Jiang Yanli had always been a little intimidated by Lan Qiren, and when was examining her within an inch of her life, it was worse. He said he would like to study her behavior for a few days. Jin Guangyao was naturally accommodating and said they would stay as long as Lan Qiren liked. Jiang Yanli began to worry that she wouldn’t be able to talk to Lan Xichen without Jin Guangyao lurking in the background. Over the course of the journey, she had decided that who she really needed to talk to was Lan Wangji, but he hadn’t been there when they arrived. She figured Lan Xichen would know where he was.

Summoning up all her courage, she approached Lan Xichen after their meal and asked if she could speak to him privately. It seemed to surprise him, but did not disturb him, and he showed her into the jingshi. Jin Guangyao’s gaze followed them out of the room, but he knew better than to try to horn his way in on a private conversation.

“I was hoping to . . .” Jiang Yanli squared her shoulders. “I would like to see Hanguang-Jun while I am here.”

“Ah,” Lan Xichen said, his usual gentle smile fading. “My apologies, Jin-furen, but my brother is in seclusion. He cannot be disturbed.”

“Please,” Jiang Yanli said, clutching A-Ling tighter to her chest. “Please, I must speak with him.”

A faint frown crossed over Lan Xichen’s face as he saw that she was truly distressed. He took a moment to draw some characters in the air, and she saw a wave of blue light flicker up the walls. “Jin-furen, we can now speak without worrying about being overheard. I assure you, I am in my brother’s full confidence. Whatever you wish to say to him, please say to me.”

Jiang Yanli took a moment to think about this and decided it would have to do. Lan Xichen was such a kind and gentle person; she could not help but trust him. And she had seen over the years that the two brothers were indeed close. Despite his words about the spell, her voice dropped. “I . . . I believe A-Xian might have survived his fall.”

Lan Xichen looked at her steadily. “Why?”

“Because I’m here,” she said. “I love A-Cheng. I do. But he is not who did this. Everyone thinks he is; he even thinks he is. But it was not him. He would never give up his golden core, not for anything, not even for – ” She saw the way Lan Xichen’s shoulders tensed, the way his eyes widened the slightest bit. “What is it?”

Carefully, Lan Xichen said, “Jiang-zongzhu has lost his golden core?”

“Yes,” Jiang Yanli said. “Everyone thinks it’s the price he paid for bringing me back to life. But I don’t think he’s the one who cast that spell. And I can’t – I don’t want to think about A-Xian doing that to him, but I can’t not think about it, and I – ” Her words dissolved into tears. “Zewu-Jun, I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be alive if it’s because A-Xian did such a terrible thing to A-Cheng.”

“He did not,” Lan Xichen said. “I am certain that’s not what happened.”

Jiang Yanli wiped her eyes with one hand, carefully holding A-Ling with the other arm. “You can only be certain if you know what did happen. Is that not true?”

Lan Xichen’s smile returned. “You are as clever as your brothers, you know. Even if other people don’t realize it.” He took a deep breath and said, “Jin-furen, will you accompany me to the back hills?”

“Yes, thank you, thank you so much,” Jiang Yanli said. She followed him back out into the room with the others, where he quietly had a word with Lan Qiren and Jin Guangyao. She heard the words, ‘quite tired’ and ‘play some calming music’ and gathered that he was telling them she was going to retire for the night and he was going to go play the xiao to help her sleep.

They walked in silence for several long minutes. At one point, she tried to ask a question, and he smiled and asked that she not speak until he indicated it was safe to do so. She nodded and continued to follow him.

“It is quite a ways,” he said, after about ten minutes. “My father built this cabin when he went into seclusion, some decades ago. It’s nearly at the borders of Cloud Recesses. But it should be safe enough to speak now. Nobody ventures this far out unless they have cause.”

“All right,” Jiang Yanli said, but then realized she didn’t know what to say.

“You are correct in some ways,” Lan Xichen said. “Wei-gongzi did indeed survive the fall. He arrived here twelve days later. He was quite weak and had a high fever. Wangji nursed him back to health, but he has no memory of any of his life. Whether that is due to the fever or the trauma or some magical mechanism, I cannot yet say.”

“He doesn’t remember anything?” Jiang Yanli asked, horrified.

“Wangji told me that he said he wouldn’t have known his own name, if he hadn’t heard it spoken.”

Jiang Yanli took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. “And he’s been here ever since?”

“Yes. I actually just saw him yesterday. I take supplies to them twice a week. I am the only person in Cloud Recesses who knows that Wei-gongzi is here. Even my uncle does not know. I do not think anyone else would understand. And if we are going to be honest, I expect Wangji is going to be quite angry at me for bringing you to see him.”

“What? Why?” Jiang Yanli couldn’t hide that the words hurt.

Lan Xichen smiled kindly and said, “My brother is afraid that someone will find out he is here, and that he will lose Wei-gongzi again. Please, if he’s rude to you, don’t take his words to heart.”

Jiang Yanli tried to picture Lan Wangji being rude. Her mind presented an absolute blank.

“But there is one other thing you should know,” Lan Xichen said, “which they told me when I visited yesterday. Wei-gongzi has also lost his golden core.”

Jiang Yanli’s eyes widened with horror, but it quickly melted into confusion. “What? But – how? Why would two golden cores be needed to save one life?”

“I don’t know,” Lan Xichen said. “I suspect I may know what happened, but considering Wei-gongzi’s amnesia, we may never know the truth for sure. And I would prefer not to speculate, at least not until I have had the chance to ask him some questions.”

“All right,” Jiang Yanli said, although there was a part of her that wanted to grab Lan Xichen by the front of his robes and shake him until answers fell out.

A cabin came into view, the windows softly glowing in the night, illuminating the snow outside. “Here we are,” Lan Xichen said, unnecessarily. “Are you ready?”

Jiang Yanli nodded. “I’m ready.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Chapter Text

It had been, up until that moment, a good day.

Actually, it had even been several good days. Days where Lan Wangji started teaching Wei Wuxian how to play the guqin, since he didn’t have a new flute yet, and they told stories to A-Yuan, and made animals out of snow. Days where they just enjoyed each others’ company and did nothing in particular. Nights where they curled up together. Lan Wangji would not have previously thought that he would enjoy cuddling so much, but he had quickly learned it was one of his favorite things in the world. Just to lie on his back with Wei Wuxian sprawled all over him, running his fingers through Wei Wuxian’s hair, listening to him breathe. It was intoxicatingly nice. Lan Wangji started staying in bed for a half hour after he woke in the morning, just so he could spend some time snuggling.

There were other things that he kept thinking he wanted to do with Wei Wuxian, particularly in the bed, but they hadn’t worked out how that was going to happen yet, because of A-Yuan. Even once the weather was nicer, they couldn’t leave him unsupervised for long periods of time. There was the time he was sleeping, of course, but Lan Wangji had a suspicion that such activities would not be quiet. Especially not when Wei Wuxian was involved.

He was in fact thinking about how he might ask Lan Xichen to take A-Yuan for a few hours (or days) without him wondering what they were up to, since he certainly didn’t want to explain. Then there was a quiet knock on the door, and they both went tense. Lan Xichen’s visits were like clockwork; there was no reason he would be showing up at any other time unless something was wrong.

Although they hadn’t talked about this, Wei Wuxian immediately zipped into the bathroom and slid the door shut. Lan Wangji went over and opened the door to the cabin, saw who was there, and stopped dead. “Xiongzhang,” he said, and then, carefully, “Jin-furen.”

“Forgive our intrusion, Wangji,” Lan Xichen said. “May we come in?”

Lan Wangji stood back to let them in, and he was about to ask what was going on when Jiang Yanli spotted A-Yuan, who was splashing ink onto a page. “Who is this?” she asked, her voice delighted.

“A-Yuan,” Lan Wangji said, gesturing, and A-Yuan immediately got up and bounced over. “This is your aunt, Jiang Yanli.”

Jiang Yanli cooed over the boy, and then the words seemed to sink in. “Aunt?”

“He is the last surviving Wen refugee,” Lan Wangji said, his voice more cool than she really deserved. “Wei Ying was raising him. Now I am.”

Lan Xichen said, “Wangji, I already told her.”

Lan Wangji went from chilly to icy. “I see.”

“So . . . he can come out from where he’s hiding,” Lan Xichen added, seeing that Lan Wangji was going to purposefully neglect to make that connection.

Lan Wangji gave up trying to freeze his brother in place with the power of his stare, as he had long ago learned that this would never happen (despite the occasional temptation to still try). He half-turned and said, “Wei Ying. It is safe.”

The door to the bathroom slid open and Wei Wuxian stepped out. He gave a friendly smile to Lan Xichen, and then his gaze landed on Jiang Yanli. His eyes widened.

“A-Xian,” she said, tears spilling onto her cheeks.

“Shijie,” he whispered.

Lan Wangji tensed. It was possible he had heard from the bathroom, that he had put together that his sister was here, but – no. The look on his face was not the calm, curious response one would have to a sister they didn’t remember. It was an emotional storm of pain, anguish, joy, love. Lan Wangji watched memory after memory crash into Wei Wuxian’s mind and could offer no comfort as he folded to his knees. “Wei Ying!”

“A-Xian!” Jiang Yanli echoed, hastily handing A-Ling to Lan Xichen before kneeling next to her brother with Lan Wangji on his other side.

“Ah – ” Wei Wuxian tried to say something but could only let out a harsh sob. One led to the next, which led to the next, and he crumpled into Jiang Yanli’s arms, crying so hard that he could not speak. She wrapped her arms around him and held him as tightly as she could.

“A-die, what’s wrong?” A-Yuan asked. “A-die?”

Lan Wangji scooped him up, cradled the boy against his shoulder. “A-die is just happy to see his sister again,” he said, smoothing down the boy’s hair. “Don’t worry.”

A-Yuan seemed quite skeptical of this explanation, but was too young to really argue.

Wei Wuxian, hearing him, struggled to regain his composure. “Ah - I’m fine, A-Yuan,” he managed to choke out. “What Lan Zhan said.” He pulled away, trying to hide his face. Jiang Yanli reached for him and gently blotted at his tears with a handkerchief. “How - how are you here, shijie?”

“Zewu-Jun brought me,” she said. “I mean, obviously, I . . .” She wiped away her own tears. “I had to see you, A-Xian. I know you brought me back. How could I not see you, and thank you? Because of you, A-Ling will still have a mother. Because of you, I will get to see my child grow up.”

Wei Wuxian dissolved into another sob, hiding his face in her shoulder. “It was all my fault,” he said. “Of course I would do anything I could to bring you back.”

Jiang Yanli rubbed his back and said, “But, A-Xian . . . what did you do?”

“I don’t - ” Wei Wuxian looked around, seeming to see the cabin for the first time since his memories had returned, to put together the before and after. “I don’t know . . .”

“A-Xian,” Jiang Yanli said gently.

“I shouldn’t be here,” Wei Wuxian said. “The spell should have taken my life to return yours. I don’t know why it wouldn’t have.”

Lan Xichen folded his legs underneath himself and sat down, bouncing A-Ling on his shoulder. “Although I certainly can’t claim to be better at this sort of cultivation, I believe the better translation of that symbol would be ‘reason to live’, not life itself. Yes, I saw the array,” he said, seeing Wei Wuxian’s confused look. “After Jin-furen returned, I went to the Burial Mounds myself to see what you had done. Up until today, Wangji and I thought your memories and your golden core were the price you had paid. However, it is clear your memories were never truly gone, just suppressed, probably due to the combination of the fever and the trauma. As for your golden core . . .”

Wei Wuxian looked away.

Gently, Lan Xichen said, “Am I right in that you lost it two years ago?”

Lan Wangji, who had been busying himself preparing tea so he would not intrude upon the conversation, twisted around. Jiang Yanli’s hands went to her mouth.

“Yes,” Wei Wuxian whispered.

“That you gave it to Jiang Wanyin? And that is how his was restored to him - not through a trip to the mountains, as you led him to believe?”

Tears spilled from Wei Wuxian’s eyes. He again whispered, “Yes.”

“That’s . . . why you stopped wielding Suibian?” Jiang Yanli sounded horrified. “Why you started practicing demonic cultivation?”

“What else could I do?” Wei Wuxian asked, his fists clenching down on his robes. “Jiang Cheng couldn’t have survived without a golden core. Cultivation - being the best - it was all he cared about. But then those dogs threw me into the Burial Mounds to die. I had to make it back to you and Jiang Cheng. What else could I do? How else could I have survived?”

“Oh . . . oh, A-Xian,” Jiang Yanli said, pulling him against her shoulder again. “You must have been in so much pain. Why would you hide that from us, from me?”

“I couldn’t let Jiang Cheng know. He would have hated himself, hated me. It was better if I just let him believe he had gotten it back on his own.”

Lan Xichen let out a breath. “Unfortunately,” he said, “I think the time to tell your brother may have come.”

Wei Wuxian shook his head. “I don’t even want him to know I’m alive. Let him believe - ”

Lan Xichen interrupted. “Wei-gongzi,” he said, “you performed the spell thinking that, because you had no golden core, it would take your life instead. However, your golden core still existed. The spell still took that as the price.”

Silence fell. Lan Wangji put down the teapot, and the clink of the porcelain seemed very loud. He looked over to see the raw horror bloom on Wei Wuxian’s face. “No.”

Jiang Yanli nodded and said tearfully, “A-Cheng is without a golden core again.”

Wei Wuxian sucked in a breath. “I didn’t mean - I would never have - oh fuck - ”

Lan Wangji couldn’t hold it back anymore. “It was yours to do with what you chose. Even if you had known, it still would have been within your rights.”

“I’m not talking to you right now,” Wei Wuxian said, in a flat tone that startled everybody. 

“Wei Ying - ”

“No, I mean it,” Wei Wuxian said, and when he looked up, Lan Wangji felt a pang of unease clench down on his stomach. Wei Wuxian’s eyes were glittering with anger. “Once we’ve had a chance to talk about the fact that you told me we were cultivation partners and I’ve kicked your ass, maybe I’ll give a damn about what you have to say. For now, keep your fucking mouth shut.”

Lan Xichen cleared his throat. “Wei-gongzi, there are children present. Please try not to teach them too many new words.”

“You know what, fuck you too,” Wei Wuxian snapped. “You two basically kidnapped me and locked me in a cabin and used my amnesia as an excuse not to tell me shit that I really should have been told.”

“Wei-gongzi,” Lan Xichen said again, his voice still calm, “I only found out that Jiang-zongzhu had again lost his golden core an hour ago, so please do not blame that on me. Wangji and I were both doing our best to keep you safe. If anyone in the Jin clan had known you survived, you certainly would have been executed. You may be angry with us if you like, but the accusations of kidnapping are unhelpful.”

Wei Wuxian scowled, but Jiang Yanli nudged him and quietly said, “A-Xian. You owe Zewu-Jun and Hanguang-Jun an apology.”

After a moment, Wei Wuxian took a deep breath. He nodded and bowed to Lan Xichen and said, “I apologize for my words. They were rude and unnecessary. I am grateful for everything you have done for me, to keep me safe.” He turned to Lan Wangji and said, “You don’t get an apology until we’ve had a chance to talk.”

Lan Wangji nodded and said nothing, trying to ignore the tightness in his throat and the stinging in his eyes. There was no going back now. The quiet, uneventful life he had pictured with Wei Wuxian was gone.

Seeing that there was nothing further that could be said on that particular topic until Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had had a chance to talk in private, Jiang Yanli said, “Maybe you are right, A-Xian. A-Cheng thinks he did this on his own, that he sacrificed his own golden core to bring me back. Is it so bad if he believes that?”

“Finally, someone who talks sense,” Wei Wuxian said. “You’re right. Let Jiang Cheng have the credit. I don’t want it or need it.”

“But how does he believe that?” Lan Xichen asked. “He must know he didn’t do the spell.”

Jiang Yanli shook her head. “He thinks he just doesn’t remember. That the days after my death were so horrible, he said they were like a waking nightmare. That he must have done it while in a daze and then forgotten.”

Wei Wuxian sighed, but couldn’t stop the smallest smile from tugging at the corner of his lips. “Shijie, have you ever noticed that Jiang Cheng just isn’t that bright?”

“A-Xian,” she scolded. “Don’t say such things.”

“He’s not wrong, though,” Lan Wangji murmured.

“Quiet. I’m still mad at you.”

Lan Xichen said, “I think it has been a very emotional day for everybody. It is probably better to revisit the issue of what Jiang-zongzhu should be told once we have all rested and had a chance to process what has occurred.”

“That sounds like a very reasonable idea, Zewu-Jun,” Jiang Yanli said. She reached out to Wei Wuxian and cupped his face in her hands. “No matter what else has happened, A-Xian, I am so glad to see you again.”

“Me too,” Wei Wuxian said, and hugged her so tightly that her bones creaked. When he let go, he said, “Zewu-Jun, if I might impose upon you one more time, could you perhaps take A-Yuan back to the main pavilion for the night?”

Lan Xichen nodded and stood. “Of course.”

“No!” A-Yuan immediately protested. “I wanna stay here with a-die and Lan Zhan.”

Wei Wuxian grasped him by the shoulders and said, “You’ll be back by breakfast tomorrow. I need a chance to talk to Lan Zhan without little ears,” he reached out and pinched playfully at A-Yuan’s earlobe, making him giggle, “overhearing. You behave for your uncle and your auntie, okay? They’ll take good care of you.”

“Booooo,” A-Yuan said, but then added, “I’ll be good.”

“I can’t believe you have a son and I didn’t even know,” Jiang Yanli said. “He’s so precious, A-Xian. I can tell you’ve done a good job raising him.”

Wei Wuxian flushed faintly pink. “I never would have wanted to hide it from you. But honestly, he didn’t start calling me a-die until about a month before . . . everything happened. He was mostly raised by his grandmother.”

Jiang Yanli smiled. “I look forward to spending more time with him.”

“Thank you, shijie.” Wei Wuxian hugged her one more time. “I’ll see you in the morning?”

“Of course.”

The two of them departed with A-Ling safely back in Jiang Yanli’s arms and A-Yuan holding Lan Xichen’s hand.

The silence lingered behind them.

“Wei Ying - ”

“Cultivation partners?” Wei Wuxian slammed his cup of tea down on the table. “Cultivation partners? You son of a bitch. I should beat the shit out of you. I can’t believe you of all people lied straight to my face like that. I didn’t know you were capable.”

“It wasn’t a lie,” Lan Wangji protested. “At the crowd hunt, you said we were soulmates and I agreed.”

“Sure we did!” Wei Wuxian laughed bitterly. “But you might have noticed that a lot has happened since then.”

“It didn’t change anything.”

“It changed everything! Where were you, Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian demanded. “If you were my soulmate, my partner, where the fuck were you? Why did you let me walk away, that night in the rain, if you truly thought we were destined to walk the same path? You told me that story and made it sound like you were struggling by my side, but you weren’t! You were hiding in Cloud Recesses. How dare you look at me and call me your soulmate?”

“Because I was wrong!” Lan Wangji shouted. It took both of them off guard. He didn’t recall the last time he raised his voice. He knelt beside the table, fists clenching. “Wei Ying. I was wrong. I should have been with you. Am I not allowed to have regrets?”

“You can regret whatever you want. It still doesn’t explain why you lied to my face.”

Lan Wangji had to take a deep breath. “It was not meant to be a lie about the past. It was meant to be a promise about the future.”

Wei Wuxian felt his eyes burn with unshed tears, and he looked away. “How can I believe that? Our paths diverged a long time ago. You can’t just suddenly decide we’re on the same one again.”

“Yes, I can,” Lan Wangji said, “because that’s what I choose. Whatever path you walk, I will walk it beside you. The days after you fell, I could not stop thinking about all the times I had walked away from you, or let you walk away. The Unclean Realm. Qishan after we killed Xuanwu. After the battle of Nightless City. Qiongqi Way in the rain. The Burial Mounds. Every time. And I swore that if by some miracle I was granted another chance, I would never walk away from you again.”

Wei Wuxian could barely look at him. “Do you really mean that?”

Lan Wangji reached out and thumbed the tears off his cheeks. “I do. The feeling of walking the single-log bridge until dark is indeed not bad.”

Wei Wuxian choked out a laugh that was half sob. “How long have you been waiting to use that line on me?”

“It is not a line,” Lan Wangji said, frowning.

“I know, I know.” Wei Wuxian waved this aside. “You don’t say things you don’t mean. Not even when I have amnesia, I guess.”

“I never meant to deceive you,” Lan Wangji said quietly, reaching out to brush Wei Wuxian’s hair back out of his face. “I just thought - finally, all of that could be over. You would be safe and we would be together. I wanted to protect you from pain, either past or future.”

“I know,” Wei Wuxian said again, and sighed. “And it was my choice not to push the issue. I knew there were things you weren’t telling me, but I let it go, because . . . I think under the surface, all that pain and grief was still there. I could still feel it, and I knew you were right, that it would be better for me if I didn’t know, didn’t remember. But I guess it couldn’t last.” Another sigh, and then he said to the ceiling. “I don’t know what sins I committed in my last life, but whatever they were, I’m sorry, already. Let me have some peace.”

“We can have peace,” Lan Wangji said. “Let the outside world do as it pleases. Let Jiang Wanyin believe whatever he wants. Nobody else needs to know that you’re here. Your sister can visit if you like; my brother will keep anyone from finding out. Other than that, it will be just the two of us and A-Yuan.”

Wei Wuxian nodded. Then, surprising Lan Wangji, he started to laugh quietly. When he saw the look on Lan Wangji’s face, he said, “Sorry, it’s just - all week long, all either of us has been able to think about is how your brother might babysit for a little while so we could have some privacy - don’t argue with me, I’ve seen you thinking it. And now he finally did, and it was so we could fight.”

Lan Wangji’s mouth curved into a soft smile. “Well,” he said, “I think we are done fighting. What do you think?”

“I never want to fight with you again,” Wei Wuxian said, and they all but fell into each others’ arms.

~ ~ ~

It had been quiet in the cabin for a long time, although neither of them were sleeping. Wei Wuxian had his head tucked into the crook of Lan Wangji’s shoulder and was just enjoying the warmth of him, the presence of him. Finally, he said, “Hey, Lan Zhan . . . when did you realize I was your soulmate?”

Lan Wangji glanced down at him, then admitted, “When you went missing.”

“Really?” Wei Wuxian was surprised, although he couldn’t really say why. He moved over and tucked one arm underneath his head so he could see Lan Wangji better. “After Wen Chao threw me into the Burial Mounds, you mean?”

Lan Wangji nodded. “When I met with Jiang Wanyin at Langya, and he told me you had disappeared . . . it was as if the world had stopped turning. I was ready to turn the world upside down in order to find you.”

“That’s sweet,” Wei Wuxian said, smiling at him.

“Mn.” Lan Wangji was silent another moment. “I kept thinking back to how we had last separated, after the Cave of Xuanwu. At the time, I’d had no reservations at leaving you. I urgently needed to get back to Cloud Recesses. My uncle was injured and my brother was missing. And you were with Jiang Wanyin; I figured you were safe. Leaving you was the natural thing to do . . . but I wished that I had waited until you were awake, and said goodbye.” He closed his eyes. “Especially after the Wen soldiers told me they had thrown you into the Burial Mounds, that you had been destroyed, body and soul. How I wished I had said goodbye.”

Wei Wuxian reached out and brushed his fingers over Lan Wangji’s forehead ribbon. “But I wasn’t destroyed, Lan Zhan. I’m here.”

Lan Wangji caught his hand and pressed a kiss against his palm. “I know.” Another kiss. “What about you? When did you know?”

“Me? Cold Pond cave.”

Lan Wangji’s eyebrows went up. “That early?”

“Of course!” Wei Wuxian laughed. “It seemed like fate, didn’t it? We were being asked to complete a quest together. Obviously we were soulmates. What kind of story would it have been if we weren’t?”

With a quiet snort, Lan Wangji said, “A very romantic notion.”

“Well, I was young and romantic then,” Wei Wuxian said, and his smile faded. “But you’re right. I thought of it as a grand adventure, a fun story I would someday tell my children. But it didn’t turn out like that at all.”

Lan Wangji kissed his palm again. “Our story is not over yet, Wei Ying.”

“I know that. But . . .” Wei Wuxian felt tears sting at his eyes. “Even though it’s not over, it’s still a terrible story. There are people gone now who I can never get back. Jiang-shushu and Yu-furen being gone was bad enough, but . . . I had just built a new family and it was taken away, too. I’ll never see Wen Qing and Wen Ning again and that . . .” He could no longer hold the tears back, and turned so Lan Wangji would not see them.

Lan Wangji gently turned him back and wiped some of the tears away with his thumb. His face solemn, he said, “I am sorry.”

Wei Wuxian bit back a sob. “I know that this isn’t the sort of thing I should say if I’m trying to convince people that I’m stable, but I will never forgive the Jin clan for this. I would burn Koi Tower to the ground if I could, scatter the ashes to all four corners of the world. I know that I can’t get revenge or justice now. I know that I should let it go and be content to stay here, safely, with you. That they would want me to be safe and happy, that they would say keeping A-Yuan safe and healthy should be my priority. I won’t do anything rash. But I will never stop hating them for what they did.”

“I know,” Lan Wangji said, stroking his hair. 

Wei Wuxian let out the rest of his tears into the pillow, while Lan Wangji gently caressed his face.

Finally, the worst of it had passed. Wei Wuxian felt as exhausted as if he had run a hundred miles. He closed his eyes, let Lan Wangji dry his tears. “Hey, Lan Zhan . . .” he murmured. “If I said I heard a second flute at Qiongqi Way and Nightless City . . . would you believe me?”

“Yes,” Lan Wangji said, without hesitation.

“Okay,” Wei Wuxian said, and tucked his head back into the crook of Lan Wangji’s neck. A few minutes later, his breathing was slow and even. Lan Wangji pulled the blankets up over them as if he could shield Wei Wuxian from the world.

~ ~ ~ ~

Chapter Text

The next morning, Lan Wangji woke at five as usual. He decided to forego his usual morning cuddle, because he knew that Lan Xichen would be up just as early, and he didn’t know how late Jiang Yanli would sleep. He doubted that Lan Xichen would let her sleep late. It would be easiest to come to the cabin before the Jin contingent was up and around for the day.

He drew the water and started the fire and let Wei Wuxian sleep. Once he had the tea steeping, he leaned over and gently shook his shoulder. “Wei Ying.”

“Ugh, it’s so early,” Wei Wuxian moaned, his clarity showing that he had already been awake for a while.

“I expect your sister will be back soon, along with my brother and A-Yuan. You should get up.”

Wei Wuxian sighed. “Our privacy is over so soon, huh? I had so many more plans.”

Lan Wangji felt himself flush, and the fact that Wei Wuxian started stripping off his clothes so he could bathe did not help matters in the slightest. “It’s not over yet . . .”

When Jiang Yanli and Lan Xichen knocked on the door of the cabin a half hour later, the two men inside were not prepared to receive them. Jiang Yanli could not help but giggle as her flustered, half-dressed brother opened the door a crack and said, “Ah, just a minute! We’ll be ready in a minute – Lan Zhan made tea – ” and then firmly shut the door in their faces.

“At least we know they resolved their argument,” Lan Xichen said, looking amused.

A few minutes later, Lan Wangji opened the door, as poised and staid as ever. “Good morning, xiongzhang, Jin-furen. A-Yuan, did you behave yourself?”

A-Yuan immediately hugged his leg. “I was good! And Auntie Jiang gave me lotsa treats.”

“Shush, that was supposed to be our little secret!” Jiang Yanli said, laughing. As she came inside, her gaze lit on Wei Wuxian, and she smiled at him. “He’s a very good boy, A-Xian. And it reminds me – you didn’t really get a chance to meet A-Ling yesterday. Would you like to hold him?”

“I’m not sure I should,” Wei Wuxian said, shifting from foot to foot.

“Nonsense. You’re raising a toddler already and babies are much smaller. Here.” Without further delay, Jiang Yanli deposited A-Ling into Wei Wuxian’s arms. He immediately melted, softly stroking the baby’s little tufts of hair. Lan Wangji poured tea and Lan Xichen started pulling breakfast items out of the basket he was carrying.

“Shijie . . . what happened at Qiongqi Way . . .” Wei Wuxian had to swallow hard to hold back tears. “I never meant to hurt Jin Zixuan. I swear to you I didn’t. I didn’t like him but I knew you loved him, and I never, ever would have wanted A-Ling to grow up without a father. I don’t know what happened that day, but I – I’m so sorry.”

“I know, A-Xian,” Jiang Yanli said, reaching out and stroking his hair. “I know you didn’t. None of this was your fault.”

They ate breakfast in silence. Wei Wuxian wasn’t feeling very talkative, although there was a lot he had been thinking about since the discussion the previous day. Fortunately, the Lan clan’s disciplines meant he could put off the conversation a little longer.

Finally, once the meal was over and A-Yuan had been given one of his toys to play with, Wei Wuxian said, “It doesn’t matter to me if Jiang Cheng takes credit for what I’ve done. As long as he’s fine with it, then it’s probably better if he doesn’t know. Can any of you think of any reason that he should?”

“My only concern is that somebody else might put together the pieces,” Lan Xichen said. “But, I was only able to do that after finding out both your golden cores were gone. So far, the only people who have that knowledge are the ones in this room. So I think it is safe enough.”

Wei Wuxian took a deep breath and let it out. “That’s fine, then. I’ll stay here. Shijie . . . you’re welcome here whenever you like, but I guess you’ll have to arrange it on your own.”

“We talked about that on our way back to the main pavilion last night,” Jiang Yanli said. “I think it should be fine for me to say that Zewu-Jun’s xiao calmed my nerves and helped my sleep, so I would like to visit periodically. I doubt A-Cheng will argue.”

“Are you going back to Lotus Pier, then?” Wei Wuxian asked, and she nodded. “Will you please burn a stick of incense for Jiang-shushu and Yu-furen for me?”

“Of course,” she said, and squeezed his hand.

Lan Wangji cleared his throat. “What about the second flute?”

“What second flute?” Lan Xichen asked.

At the same time, Wei Wuxian said, “What about it?”

Lan Wangji frowned at Wei Wuxian but answered Lan Xichen. “That day at Qiongqi Way, and that night at Nightless City, Wei Ying heard a second flute. We believe it may have hindered his control over the dead.”

Lan Xichen frowned. “Are you sure?”

“At Qiongqi Way, I didn’t notice it so much,” Wei Wuxian said, not looking at any of them, keeping his gaze instead of his cup of tea. “I thought it was just the way the flute echoed off the rocks. But at Nightless City, I definitely heard it.”

“But . . . why would anybody do that?” Jiang Yanli asked, clutching A-Ling a little tighter. “What would the purpose be?”

A moment of silence sat in the room before Wei Wuxian said, “This is why I wasn’t going to bring it up. I can think of only one person who directly benefited from Jin Zixuan’s death.”

Lan Xichen blinked, and then his frown deepened. “A-Yao would never – ”

“Stab a man in the back?” Wei Wuxian interrupted.

For the first time since they’d met, there was a hint of anger on Lan Xichen’s face. “That was different and you well know it. A-Yao saved all our lives with what he did that day and deposed a terrible tyrant. What you’re talking about is not only the cold-blooded murder of a family member, but then framing an innocent person for it. A-Yao would never, and I will say that with complete confidence. You do not know him as I do.”

“And, like I said, this is why I wasn’t going to bring it up,” Wei Wuxian said with a sigh. “Lan Zhan, I only meant for you to know that.”

Lan Wangji did not flinch. “We may remain here in seclusion for months, even years, and you will be safe. But the chances that you will never be discovered are slim, and to be honest, I do not expect you to last in exile more than a year before you cannot tolerate it any more.”

“I lasted just fine in the Burial Mounds – ”

“You were taking trips to Yiling every other week to sell radishes, even though any one of the refugees could have gone and it would have been far safer, both for them and for you. Do not attempt to convince me that you’ll be happy to meditate in Cloud Recesses until the Yiling Patriarch is forgotten. We could wait a decade or even two before that happens.”

Wei Wuxian grimaced. “Okay, but even so, we could wait for things to cool down before we start throwing shit around.”

“It is best to strike while the iron is hot,” Lan Wangji said. “Whoever was responsible for this thinks he got away with it. He thinks you are dead and cannot accuse him. This is an ideal time to find out who that is. Evidence and memory will only fade with more time.”

Lan Xichen cleared his throat. “Wangji,” he said, “did you hear a second flute?”

“I did not. But the fighting was loud and the acoustics of Nightless City carried noise in strange ways, as you would also know.”

“That is true,” Lan Xichen said, “but even so. Demonic cultivation is incredibly difficult, and the situation was high-stress, particularly at Nightless City. Losing control over the dead is not an unlikely possibility.”

“So you think I actually did all this,” Wei Wuxian said, his voice flat.

“I don’t believe you meant to,” Lan Xichen said. “I know that you were greatly provoked. That you were grieving and in pain. But to me, the explanation that you lost control is far more likely than that there was a shadowy figure pulling the strings – let alone Jin Guangyao.”

Lan Wangji opened his mouth, and Wei Wuxian pinched his leg under the table. “Yeah,” he said, “you’re probably right. I was exhausted at Nightless City. I hadn’t slept in days. And the acoustics in that place really were odd. It was probably just echoes, or the wind.” He lifted his hands in front of himself and bowed. “I apologize for questioning your judgment, and for insulting your sworn brother.”

“Please don’t think on it any further,” Lan Xichen said.

Lan Wangji opened his mouth again. Wei Wuxian pinched him harder.

Lan Xichen glanced outside, seeing the sun start to slant across the floor. “The Jin clan who came will be up soon, and they will be expecting to see Jin-furen. We should be getting back to the main pavilion. Unfortunately, I would not advise any further visits on this trip. They came specifically to have Jin-furen examined for any signs of yin energy, and many high-level cultivators accompanied her. On her next visit, she will not be as closely observed and it will be easier for you to spend more time together.”

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli both nodded. Wei Wuxian said, “Can I have a few minutes to say goodbye in private?”

“Of course,” Lan Xichen said, standing.

Lan Wangji also stood. “A-Yuan, it is time to feed the rabbits,” he said, and the boy immediately abandoned what he was doing and cheered, grabbing for his coat and boots.

Once they were outside, Wei Wuxian said quietly, “At Qiongqi Way, I thought my own subconscious dislike of Jin Zixuan had led Wen Ning to attack him. But the more I think about that, the less likely I think it is. I respect Zewu-Jun, but his view of Jin Guangyao is clouded by his affection for him. Would you not agree?”

Jiang Yanli thought about everything she had seen of Jin Guangyao over the past year of living at Koi Tower. How he was always in the right place at the right time, how he always knew exactly what to say, whether it was to start a fight or end one. How he had sometimes looked at Jin Zixuan with such jealousy, especially when he was being praised by their father. He had been nothing but kind to her in the time they had known each other, but she could not say for sure, between Wei Wuxian and Lan Xichen, who was correct. “I agree that Zewu-Jun is not impartial. But I do not think you are, either.”

She expected Wei Wuxian to get upset, but instead, he just nodded. “Then please – I know I have no right to ask anything of you. But will you stay at Koi Tower for now? Will you watch him? See who he spends time with. Watch what he says and how he behaves. I still don’t know who cast the curse on Jin Zixun, but whoever it is will have had part of the curse reflected back onto them. Watch for that. Watch for who he discusses music with, for who he actually seems to respect, instead of just pretending to respect.” He squeezed both her hands. “Will you do this for me?”

Jiang Yanli nodded. “Of course, A-Xian. I don’t believe you ever meant to hurt anybody. You are innocent, and I will help you prove it.”

He swallowed hard to keep back the tears and embraced her, carefully making sure to leave room for A-Ling between them. “I love you so much, shijie.”

“I love you, too,” she whispered back.

“Please tell Jiang Cheng . . .” Wei Wuxian began, then shook his head. “There’s really nothing you can tell him from me, is there. Please take care of him for me.”

“I will. And please take care of yourself.”

That made Wei Wuxian smile. “I don’t need to! I’ve got Lan Zhan for that.”

“I know.” She laughed quietly. “You are so lucky, A-Xian. I can tell that you two truly love each other. He will keep you safe for me, I am sure.”

They embraced one more time before she left.

Lan Wangji came inside and brushed snow off his cloak. He sat A-Yuan down with some building blocks and poured them both a fresh cup of tea. “Wei Ying . . .”

“I don’t want you to fight with your brother,” Wei Wuxian said, and then let out a breath. “We can’t afford to fight with your brother. He’s the only one standing between us and everyone else. We’re dead without him.”

“Accusing Jin Guangyao angered him, but he would never betray us,” Lan Wangji said, frowning.

“I know he’s not going to go out there and announce that I’m alive and hiding back here, but it seems like a little caution might not be a bad thing, huh?” Wei Wuxian poked Lan Wangji in the ribs. “This is an amazing amount of restraint on my part. I thought you would congratulate me.”

Lan Wangji’s face just grew darker. “If Jin Guangyao is what we suspect, then I do not want him anywhere near my brother.”

“I know. But I don’t think Jin Guangyao would hurt him. He’s not an indiscriminate killer and he seems to have genuine affection for Zewu-Jun. But the fact remains that Zewu-Jun is not impartial in this matter. I know that he owes Jin Guangyao a debt of gratitude for what happened after Cloud Recesses was burned. It’s better if we just . . . don’t involve him.”

After a moment, Lan Wangji nodded. “Your sister, then?”

“She’ll keep an eye on him for us. Either he or someone in his inner circle has to be who cast the curse on Jin Zixun, because it certainly wasn’t me. Jin Zixun said they had tried to cure it, which means that a portion of it probably reflected back on whoever cast it. That’s one thing she can look for. And she can just watch him. You know? I don’t think he’ll be as careful around her as he is around a lot of other people.”

“Won’t she be in danger, though?”

“I doubt very much he’d make any sort of move on her right now. Everyone in the world is paying attention after her miraculous resurrection. Her death would be enormously suspicious, and he’s lost his convenient scapegoat. Even if he suspects her, she’ll be able to get away before he does anything. My sister’s no fool, you know.”

“I know.”

“A-die, Lan Zhan!” A-Yuan grabbed onto Wei Wuxian’s leg. “Come build with me!”

Wei Wuxian laughed. “Of course, A-Yuan. Let’s build a big palace where we can all live together.”

“Yeah!” A-Yuan cheered, and Lan Wangji found himself smiling despite everything.

~ ~ ~ ~

After three days, Lan Qiren decided that Jiang Yanli was wholly human and should be allowed to live out the rest of her life in peace. It helped when Lan Xichen ‘found’ parts of the spell in the forbidden section of their library, allowing for a plausible explanation of how Jiang Cheng had brought her back to life. Everyone was in agreement that the spell would have resulted in reversing her death.

Jin Guangyao profusely thanked Lan Xichen for his hospitality, Lan Xichen told him that such thanks were unnecessary and they were welcome any time, and the two of them smiled at each other for altogether too long.

Jiang Yanli gave a quiet sigh and said, “Won’t you ride in the carriage with me, Jin-gongzi? I would love to have your company.”

“Certainly,” Jin Guangyao said, and the group departed. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired, but much better overall,” Jiang Yanli said. “I’m much relieved by what Lan Qiren said. And I have to admit I slept much better when Zewu-Jun played for me.”

“He has a wondrous talent,” Jin Guangyao agreed, smiling.

Jiang Yanli nodded. “But I must confess something to you, Jin-gongzi . . . I did not ask you to ride with me just for your company.” She glanced up shyly and saw the faint frown on his face. “I thought . . . perhaps you might like to hold A-Ling for a while. I know that Jin-zongzhu has been . . . difficult about that . . .”

Jin Guangyao’s face lit up with what looked like genuine joy. “May I really?”

“Of course,” Jiang Yanli said, transferring the sleeping baby into Jin Guangyao’s arms. “You are his uncle. I may not be able to help with Jin-zongzhu, but I will make sure A-Ling always has the proper respect for you.”

“I am most grateful,” Jin Guangyao said, cradling the baby against his shoulder and beaming. Jiang Yanli watched him in silence for a few moments, wondering again about what Wei Wuxian had said. It was true that Jin Guangyao was the most likely to have directly benefited from Jin Zixuan’s death. It was true that he had every reason to be jealous of his brother. And yet . . . could someone so kind, so devoted, so solicitous, really commit such a crime? Not just to murder his own brother but to frame an innocent man? It didn’t seem like him at all. She could understand why Lan Xichen would defend him so vigorously.

But she could not shake her certainty that Wei Wuxian was innocent. That her brother would never have harmed her husband, even accidentally. If not Jin Guangyao, then who?

“I have been thinking that I might stay at Koi Tower for longer,” she finally said, and he glanced up at her, still smiling. “I am homesick for Lotus Pier, but I would hate to deny A-Ling’s grandparents time with him. I have been so reliant on help from Jin-furen . . . and although I could travel back and forth, the very idea of that much travel with a baby so young is somewhat daunting. Particularly if I am to visit Cloud Recesses once a month.”

“You are of course welcome to stay in Koi Tower as long as you like,” Jin Guangyao said. “I’m sure my parents would be thrilled to hear you say you would prefer to stay. But what about your brother?”

Jiang Yanli felt tears well up to her eyes, and let them fall. Let Jin Guangyao think she was weak and harmless. “I would help him if I could, but I don’t know how. I think some distance between us might be the best thing right now.”

This was the exact opposite of the truth, but she did not know how else to excuse her absence from Lotus Pier. She would have to visit soon so she could check on Jiang Cheng. If he was not doing well, she did not know what she would do. Her loyalty was to both her brothers; she would never be able to choose.

As if sensing her distress, A-Ling began to fuss. Jin Guangyao froze, and an altogether uncharacteristic expression of panic seized his face. Jiang Yanli laughed quietly and said, “It is normal for babies to cry, Jin-gongzi. Here, let me take him.”

“Of course.” Jin Guangyao let her take the child from his arms, rock him and coo softly until he calmed. “You know, there is really no need to be so formal with me, still. You would be welcome to call me by my name.”

Jiang Yanli smiled shyly and said, “You would not mind?”

“Of course not! We are basically brother and sister now, are we not?”

“Yes,” Jiang Yanli said. “I am so happy to hear you say it. I rely on you so heavily . . . Guangyao. You are so kind to me. Please, you are welcome to use my name as well.”

Jin Guangyao laughed. “You might use mine, but I could never use yours. My father would beat me senseless for being disrespectful.”

Jiang Yanli wanted to argue, but she knew that he was right, and that moreover, there was no way she could protect him from Jin Guangshan. She couldn’t even ask him to use her name when it was just the two of them, because if he got used to doing so, he might slip in front of somebody else. She decided to offer sympathy instead, as was her natural reaction anyway. “He is so harsh on you . . . it is truly unfair, the way he treats you.”

“Please, don’t trouble yourself,” Jin Guangyao said, still smiling. “It is enough that he legitimized me. I would never dare ask him for anything further.”

Jiang Yanli nodded and watched the scenery roll by, missing her brothers and her husband so badly that she ached.

~ ~ ~ ~

“What’s all this?” Wei Wuxian asked, as Lan Xichen set down a box of scrolls and old texts.

“Some books that Wangji asked for,” Lan Xichen said, and added to his brother, “there are still several more I haven’t been able to locate. Your list was quite extensive, so I’m still looking.”

Lan Wangji nodded. “Thank you, xiongzhang.”

Wei Wuxian picked up the first scroll and started perusing it. Then he set it down and said, “Seriously?”

Lan Xichen smiled. “Well, I’ll be going. Please let me know if there’s anything else you need.”

Seeing that he absolutely did not want to be included in the discussion that was about to follow, Wei Wuxian waited until he had left and the door was closed behind him. Then he said, “I recognize some of these. They were from Wen Qing’s library in Yiling. I didn’t know the Lan clan had kept them.”

“We kept some, and the Jin clan kept some,” Lan Wangji said. “But my brother, being on good terms with Jin Guangyao, was able to get those. There is nothing suspicious about researching golden cores, after what Jiang Wanyin supposedly did with his.”

“Nothing suspicious, sure, but . . .” Wei Wuxian picked up one of the unfamiliar scrolls. “Why?”

Lan Wangji’s expression did not change. “It was said that when Wen Zhuliu crushed someone’s golden core, he crushed even the place where one could grow, so they would never have hope of regaining it. That may be true. However, it clearly did not stop Jiang Wanyin from using yours.”

“Right, but . . .”

“Your golden core was not crushed. It was removed, with what I assume was surgical precision, given Wen Qing’s skill. Therefore, there is no reason to believe that it cannot be regrown.”

Wei Wuxian hesitated. It had never occurred to him that he might be able to regrow his golden core. He had never dared hope for such a thing. “If it were possible, I’m sure Wen Qing would have mentioned it . . .”

Lan Wangji regarded him in silence for a few moments. Then he said, “Am I right in assuming that this had never done before? That it was an experimental technique that had a high chance of failure?”

“Hey, it wasn’t high,” Wei Wuxian protested. “It was fifty/fifty.”

Lan Wangji’s face twitched.

“. . . and that’s not high,” Wei Wuxian insisted.

Without responding to this assertion, Lan Wangji continued, “Am I right or not?”

“That it was experimental?” Wei Wuxian still wasn’t willing to admit that the chance of failure had been high. “Yeah. I mean, I don’t know if it had never been done before, but certainly Wen Qing had never done it before.”

“So she would not have known whether or not it was possible to regrow your golden core. She might not have wanted to give you false hope.” Lan Wangji’s face was somewhat solemn. “Unfortunately, we cannot ask for her opinion now. All we can do is research to determine on our own whether or not it is a possibility.”

Wei Wuxian sighed and looked at the pile of scrolls. “Look, Lan Zhan, I’m not saying you can’t spend the next year digging through this stuff in the hopes that it might happen. But you yourself said that you didn’t think less of me for not having a golden core. That you’d find me in every life. Why are you being like this now?”

Lan Wangji frowned and said, “When you had given your golden core up to bring back your sister, I could accept that. This, I cannot accept.”

“You can accept that I gave it up for my sister, but not for my brother?” Wei Wuxian asked skeptically.

Lan Wangji gave a huff. “Do not be obtuse.”

“I’m not being obtuse! I genuinely don’t get your point.”

“Sacrificing your golden core to reverse your sister’s death – that would be a fair, honorable sacrifice. This – what happened to Jiang Wanyin, what then happened to you, the fact that he does not know and does not honor your sacrifice – that is different.”

“It’s not Jiang Cheng’s fault,” Wei Wuxian said, and added with a sigh, “and the fact that I knew everyone would leap to blame him, including himself, is one of the reasons why I never told anybody.”

“I do not blame Jiang Wanyin,” Lan Wangji said. “I blame Wen Zhuliu. He is beyond our reach, but there may yet be a way to undo what he did.” Lan Wangji saw the way Wei Wuxian was hesitating and asked, quietly, “Why are you so reluctant to try?”

Wei Wuxian’s hands curled around the scroll. “Maybe I’m afraid to know for certain that we can’t.”

“If you can’t, then you can’t,” Lan Wangji said. “Nothing would change from the way things are now.” He reached out and squeezed Wei Wuxian’s wrist. “If you do not wish to read the scrolls, then I will. But if I find things to try, exercises to do that might help build your core back up – will you do them for me?”

After a long moment, Wei Wuxian nodded. “Finding me in the next life sounds great and all, but I have to admit that I’d rather stay in this one. It sounds like I would make a lot of work for you if I got old and died, ha ha . . .”

Lan Wangji’s face softened. “I would not mind the work. But I would prefer to keep you this way as well.”

“Okay, then,” Wei Wuxian said. “Let’s study up.”

~ ~ ~ ~

For weeks on end, Jiang Yanli barely said a word. She had never been a particularly talkative person to begin with, always a little on the timid side, but to observe everyone so carefully took a lot of listening. She was already familiar with most of the family dynamics in the Jin sect; after all, she had lived there over a year. She knew that everyone treated Jin Guangyao with scorn, particularly Madam Jin. She knew which cultivators were honored and which were only mediocre. She knew which servants got along with their masters and which did not.

It was outside relationships that she was more curious about now, and she carefully watched how all the members of the Jin clan interacted with the guest cultivators, with the visitors from other sects. She could not imagine anybody else having had a grudge against Jin Zixuan. Her husband had matured so much over the last two years; he had grown into a responsible, righteous man. There were surely people he had angered, but enough to kill him? She couldn’t picture it.

Maybe, she thought, this was part of her problem. Everyone in her family had always been open about their emotions – maybe too much so. She wasn’t used to these people who said one thing but meant another, who wore masks every day of their lives.

On her first visit to Cloud Recesses after their initial reunion, she described the people that Jin Guangyao spent the most time with. “He still seems on friendly terms with Nie Huaisang . . . they did grow up together for so many years, after all . . .”

“What about Chifeng-Zun?” Wei Wuxian asked. “I wouldn’t expect them to get along.”

“No, they don’t. Jin Guangyao is very intimidated by him, and admits it quite frankly if asked.”

“Chifeng-Zun might be our best ally,” Wei Wuxian said. “I remember the day he threw Meng Yao out of the Unclean Realm. I don’t think he’s ever really believed that Jin Guangyao is all sweetness and light, the way Zewu-Jun thinks he is.”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji agreed.

“Who else?” Wei Wuxian asked his sister.

“There are some disciples from different sects that have visited frequently that he seems to get along with . . . especially Su She from the Moling Su sect.”

Wei Wuxian saw Lan Wangji’s eyebrow twitch. “You know him?”

“I do,” Lan Wangji said.

“They seem to get on quite well,” Jiang Yanli said. “Su She is very deferential towards him, and of course Jin Guangyao rarely meets anyone like that . . . but he flatters Su She in equal terms.” She paused, then added, “It can be quite uncomfortable to watch, actually.”

Wei Wuxian gave a snort. “What do you think, Lan Zhan? Who is Su She?”

“Su She used to be a disciple in the Lan sect,” Lan Wangji said. “He is not unskilled, but he is undisciplined.”

“Such harsh words!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, and laughed slightly. “What I meant was, do you think he is capable of harming others for personal gain?”

Lan Wangji nodded. “Also, he is not bright enough to see through Jin Guangyao’s manipulations. It is important to remember that Jin Guangyao is, among other things, a master spy. He was able to infiltrate the Wen clan and gain Wen Ruohan’s favor in the span of only a few short months. He can easily mislead people, even ones who may be naturally suspicious of him. It would be easy for him to convert Su She to his views.”

“It’s not much, though . . .” Jiang Yanli’s shoulders drooped.

Wei Wuxian reached out and hugged her. “We weren’t expecting this to be quick. You’ve already found out several things; it’s better than I would have hoped. Please don’t be discouraged.”

Jiang Yanli managed a nod and a smile. “Don’t worry, A-Xian. I’m not giving up.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Things took an interesting turn almost immediately after Jiang Yanli got back to Koi Tower, and the Jin sect reported that they had captured Xue Yang. She knew only a very little about this, so she did not take particular note of it until Nie Mingjue stormed into the city to demand that Xue Yang be executed for crimes he committed in Qinghe.

Jin Guangshan argued and protested vigorously, while Jin Guangyao mostly stayed quiet, not wanting to get into an argument with the great Chifeng-Zun. Jiang Yanli heard about this secondhand later, but couldn’t help but wonder, why was the Jin clan so set on keeping Xue Yang alive? Even after agreeing to execute him so Nie Mingjue would leave Lanling, they turned around and decided on life imprisonment instead.

She wanted to ask Wei Wuxian what he thought, but it was far too soon to make another trip to Cloud Recesses. She thought about this for several days, tossing and turning at night.

“Have you not been sleeping well?” Jin Guangyao asked her, during a walk through the pavilion in the evening. She had carefully developed this habit with him. Jin Guangshan always drank too much at dinner and usually went to indulge himself afterwards, or just passed out. It was an ideal time for privacy, and to give Jin Guangyao some time with his nephew. A-Ling liked a little fresh air at night, before he went to bed for the day, so they met in one of the courtyards furthest from the main house to walk together. “Why not?”

“You’ll laugh if I say it; it’s very silly,” Jiang Yanli said.

“Of course I won’t laugh,” Jin Guangyao promised.

“It’s just . . . I had heard from my brothers about the horrible things Xue Yang did. Knowing he’s imprisoned so close to me . . . I keep having bad dreams about it.”

Jin Guangyao reached out and took her hand, patting it gently. “Don’t fret. He could never escape the dungeons here.”

“I just wish Jin-zongzhu had killed him,” Jiang Yanli said. “He’s committed such atrocities . . . and Chifeng-Zun desired his execution so badly . . . why would Jin-zongzhu want to keep him alive at all?”

“Ah, I can’t pretend to understand how my father thinks,” Jin Guangyao said, with the expression of someone who definitely understood how his father thought.

Seeing that she definitely wasn’t going to get anywhere with him, Jiang Yanli wondered who else she could possibly ask. She wondered, suddenly, if she might get anywhere by asking Xue Yang himself. She remembered that Wei Wuxian had said he talked a lot, that he easily confessed to everything he had done. He wouldn’t know her, which meant he wouldn’t be able to tell anyone who had come to talk to him. And it wouldn’t be dangerous, either, because he would be on the inside of a cell and she would be on the outside. As long as she kept her distance, it would be fine.

The plan seemed reckless. But despite Wei Wuxian’s words about things taking time, she felt like she had to do something. She felt like the longer she waited, the less likely it would be that she would ever be able to clear her brother’s name. For some reason she couldn’t quite name, she felt like Xue Yang might be able to tell her something useful.

With that thought in mind, she waited until it was quite late. She crept through the quiet pavilion, seeing and hearing nobody. She had left A-Ling in the care of Madam Jin for the evening, claiming exhaustion. Madam Jin was always happy to look after her grandson, and Jiang Yanli hadn’t wanted to leave him alone.

Before entering the dungeons, she drew a veil over her face as a precaution. She didn’t want Xue Yang to be able to describe her later, and had dressed in the simple robes of a maid.

Due to the hour, she didn’t encounter anybody as she ventured forth. The magical protections on the cells kept the dungeon from needing any further guards. She snuck down the hallways, feeling her heart beating in her throat. But hallway after hallway, she encountered no sign of Xue Yang. He would be quite recognizable, she thought. Wei Wuxian had described him to her after their first encounter, as someone who looked still a boy and had a charming smile. There was certainly nobody like that in the Jin dungeons.

Her heart beat even harder. Had they lied and executed him? Or had they let him go? What could he be doing for them?

A grunt from the cell to her right had her hands fly to her mouth in alarm. She thought for a moment that her soul had actually left her body. She turned almost reluctantly to see who was inside the cell.

It was a man of medium height in ragged black robes. He was deathly pale, his skin almost white, and his eyes were entirely black. Jagged black lines crawled up the side of his neck. Chains and talismans covered almost every inch of his body.

She knew him.

Wen Ning.

Her breath caught in her throat as she watched him pace back and forth in the cell, clearly agitated. She could barely think. Wen Ning had been executed. They had scattered his ashes at Nightless City. And yet, here he stood. Which meant that the Jin Clan hadn’t just lied about one prisoner. They had lied about two. Why?

He looked barely human anymore, with his eyes unfocused and his hair snarled. The way he moved was that of a caged animal, prowling back and forth in an attempt to find escape. If Wei Wuxian had truly restored his consciousness, as it was said, was it gone again? Had the Jin clan done something to him? Could it be restored again?

Jiang Yanli could remember the argument she had had with Jiang Cheng after he had come back from the Burial Mounds in a fury. “You can’t be angry with A-Xian for protecting Wen-gongzi,” she had said. “He was so kind and gentle with us, after our parents died . . . always making sure we had anything we needed, even when his sister scolded him. I know you were asleep for a lot of that and so you don’t remember as much as A-Xian and I do, but just because you don’t remember it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”

Jiang Cheng had scowled and said, “I would understand Wei Wuxian protecting him if he was still alive. But he’s dead, a-jie. Who can protect him now?”

Jiang Yanli stared at the blank eyed figure in the cell.

Who can protect him now?

He twitched slightly as she approached the bars. His face twisted as if he were in pain.

Jiang Yanli let out a breath. She found that she was not afraid, but just immensely, immeasurably sad. “Don’t worry,” she said quietly. “Everything is going to be all right.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Chapter Text

The next morning, Jiang Yanli could barely keep her thoughts in order. Less than a mile away, Wen Ning was imprisoned. The Jin clan had lied to everybody.

But Wen Ning was just a weapon. Who did they intend to wield him?

Xue Yang. Of course it would be Xue Yang. He was one of the only people left – the only person that the Jin clan knew about – who knew anything about the Yin iron. Even if Wei Wuxian had destroyed the Stygian Tiger amulet, it had been forged from the Yin iron to begin with. Perhaps it could be forged again.

To what purpose? There she was unsure. But she thought she might know. It reminded her of something her mother had once said, while Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng had been at ‘indoctrination’.

“Men!” Madam Yu had exclaimed, in more of a fury than usual. “Do you know why your brothers are gone, A-Li? It is because of the hubris of men. They always want more power. Even when they have power, it is never enough. They must constantly demonstrate to others that they are strong. They must constantly be on guard against those who would seek to supplant them. Women are much more sensible creatures. We are capable of contentment in a way that men are not.”

At the time, from the words of probably the least content woman Jiang Yanli had ever known, the words had seemed ludicrous.

Now, they rang true.

The Jin clan would, simply put, never have enough power to suit them. They would always be on guard against anyone who wanted to try to supplant them, the way they had supplanted the Wens.

The one remaining question she had was, between Jin Guangyao and Jin Guangshan, who was really the mastermind?

She thought about this for quite a long time. It was true that Jin Guangyao was the one who had benefited from the death of Jin Zixuan. She could hardly picture Jin Guangshan wanting to kill his own son. But she could definitely see him wanting to obtain the Stygian Tiger amulet and the Ghost General. Had Jin Zixuan’s death been an accident? Had her husband really just been in the wrong place at the wrong time?

Or, she thought, was Jin Guangyao using his father’s ambitions to further his own? Letting his father do the dirty work of obtaining Xue Yang and Wen Ning, waiting for others to find out?

Her mind spun with all the possibilities. More than ever, she wanted to find a way to visit Wei Wuxian, but more than ever, she was afraid that she would give herself away.

“You look truly unwell, A-Li,” Madam Jin said that morning, when Jiang Yanli came to take A-Ling back. “Did you sleep at all?”

“Ah . . . no,” Jiang Yanli confessed. “I am sorry to bother you this way.”

Madam Jin patted her hand. “You know you are never a bother to me, A-Li. I love you as I would my own daughter. What is troubling you, that are you so unwell?”

Jiang Yanli saw no reason to change her lie, so she said, “I cannot sleep for knowing the devil Xue Yang is so close . . . my brothers told me about the carnage he left behind wherever he went . . . I know it is very silly, that there is no way he could escape, but I’m sure people would have said there was no way he could escape The Unclean Realm as well, and he did . . .”

Madam Jin frowned at her husband. “You see? I told you that keeping that devil alive would only bring trouble. It’s upsetting your daughter; now what are you going to do about that?”

Jin Guangshan practically rolled his eyes. “Don’t hold me responsible for the sensitivities of women. Xue Yang will never escape our dungeons, A-Li. You are right; you are being very silly.”

“You!” Madam Jin was outraged. “You are such a pig, Guangshan.”

Seeing that it was going to be one of those fights, Jiang Yanli wondered if she could melt into the wall. Jin Guangyao, who was sitting across from her at the breakfast table, seemed to be thinking the same thing. This was one conflict he never involved himself in. No matter what he said or did, it only drove Madam Jin into a deeper rage. To a certain extent, Jiang Yanli felt she could understand that. Although Jin Guangyao’s parentage wasn’t his fault, it had to be galling for Madam Jin to eat breakfast every morning with the evidence of her husband’s adultery. More than that, now that her own son was gone, to know that Jin Guangyao would inherit most of what Jin Zixuan would have had.

“It is not my fault women have such fragile minds!” Jin Guangshan complained. “To worry about such a thing. Xue Yang is a valuable resource. I don’t care what Chifeng-Zun thinks. To execute him would be a waste.”

“Father,” Jin Guangyao interrupted quickly, “this is not the time – ”

“I’ll speak of what I want to speak of at my own breakfast table!” Jin Guangshan snapped back. “Wei Wuxian, that son of a bitch, destroyed his amulet before he died in shame. And after you told me that you could definitely find a way for it to make its way into our hands! You’re no better than useless, Guangyao. If Xue Yang can piece the damn thing together, we may actually get somewhere.”

Jin Guangyao had gone white with his father’s words, and his hands trembled on the table. He said nothing.

“Guangshan, your damned ambitions are keeping the mother of your grandson from sleeping at night!” Madam Jin snapped. “If you must keep Xue Yang alive, can’t you keep him somewhere outside the city?”

“As if he won’t run off the first chance he gets,” Jin Guangshan said, and waved this off. “No. And it is not up for discussion!”

Through pale lips, Jiang Yanli said, “Perhaps – a few days at Cloud Recesses? I know I was just there, but – ”

“You can’t be bothering Zewu-Jun all the time,” Jin Guangshan said, waving this off. “He’s got more important things to do than cater to a hysterical woman.”

“Then Lotus Pier,” Jiang Yanli said desperately. “I haven’t seen A-Cheng in nearly two months. I would dearly love to see how he’s doing.” She didn’t know how Jiang Cheng would react to any of this, but he would get her to Cloud Recesses if she insisted.

“Fine,” Jin Guangshan said. “If it really bothers you that much.”

“Thank you,” Jiang Yanli said.

After breakfast was finally, thankfully over, Jin Guangyao said, “I’m afraid I won’t be able to accompany you. I’m quite busy at the moment,” he added, as if this had anything to do with why he wasn’t going, when she was sure he would have happily volunteered to go with her to Gusu. “But I’ll assign some of the cultivators to go along and protect you.”

“I truly appreciate it,” Jiang Yanli said.

Jin Guangyao smiled and squeezed her hands. “And I’m sorry for my father’s display of temper. He was quite rude to you. Don’t worry; Jin-furen won’t let it slide.”

Jiang Yanli managed a laugh. “I wouldn’t expect so.”

Two hours later, she was on her way down the river.

~ ~ ~ ~

After two months in the cabin, Wei Wuxian found he could understand Lan Wangji a lot better than he ever had before. He had always seemed so expressionless in the past, but he wasn’t. The tiny upturn of one corner of his mouth, the slight crease in his forehead, the infinitesimal widening of his eyes – these all spoke volumes, once Wei Wuxian learned how to interpret them.

His voice, too, was more expressive than Wei Wuxian had ever realized. That one syllable, ‘mn’, had a considerable variance in tone and timbre which conveyed understanding, annoyance, or concern.

Or, in this case, interest. Wei Wuxian looked over at that subtle, ‘mn’ from where he was brushing out A-Yuan’s hair before bed. “What is it?”

“A section on removing a golden core by force.”

“By force?” Wei Wuxian was surprised. “Wen Qing had said I had to keep my mind clear of any reluctance or uncertainty because she was afraid it would affect the transfer. I thought from that, the golden core had to come from somebody willing.”

“For a pure transfer, it does,” Lan Wangji said. “This seems to indicate that when taken by force, the golden core will lose a great deal of its power. That most of it will dissipate before it can be transplanted.”

“Makes sense,” Wei Wuxian said. “I mean, it’s not a physical thing. If you just grab it and rip it out, you’re not going to get a lot of it.” He sighed. “Guess it’s not really helpful, then.”

“Perhaps. But perhaps not.” Lan Wangji waited while Wei Wuxian washed A-Yuan’s face and tucked him into bed, then drew the screen between them and the child. “The scroll is one related not to a transfer, but to a punishment, done in previous centuries.”

“I get it,” Wei Wuxian said. “If someone hasn’t done something quite bad enough to deserve execution, their golden core was taken away instead.”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji said. “The writing indicates that when done, the golden core was typically allowed to dissipate. However, some bygone sects did prefer to take the power and give it to their Sect Leader.”

“Claiming your enemy’s power for yourself,” Wei Wuxian said, sprawling out on their bed. “Pretty harsh.”

“Yes. But we do have enemies, and you need a golden core.”

“I think I’d rather not have Jin Guangyao’s filthy golden core in my chest, thanks,” Wei Wuxian said.

Lan Wangji glanced up. “Truly? A golden core is just a golden core. And you would receive very little. Really only a tiny spark that you could then build up again on your own.”

“Maybe. I don’t know.” Wei Wuxian tucked his arms behind his head. “Is it weird that I still feel kind of bad for him? Even if it turns out that he did all this. He was treated like shit his whole life. I don’t really blame him for being pissed.”

“Plenty of people have terrible lives,” Lan Wangji said. “You had a terrible life.”

“Yeah, and I started doing demonic cultivation after literally promising you that I wouldn’t. My hands aren’t exactly clean.”

Lan Wangji sighed. “I don’t think feeling empathy towards Jin Guangyao is a bad thing. You are an empathetic person by nature; it’s precisely because of that, that you sacrificed your golden core for your brother and intended to sacrifice your life for your sister. Why you protected the Wen remnants. You feel others’ pain as if it is your own, including Jin Guangyao’s. But none of that makes any difference towards what he has done.”

“I know. I just . . .” Wei Wuxian sighed. “Maybe I just think of all the maybes, the could-have-beens, the what-ifs. Maybe I just see how I could have been like him, if I walked a slightly different path.”

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji reached out and rested his hand on Wei Wuxian’s chest. “You are nothing like Jin Guangyao. Everything you have done has been to help others, to live justly. And you have never hidden what you are. You do what you feel is right and dare others to challenge you. That is a world apart from Jin Guangyao, who deceives others with fake compassion and deference. The only commonality between the two of you is that you have both lived difficult lives. The similarity ends there.”

After a moment, Wei Wuxian smiled. “Yeah, you’re right,” he said. “I’m just thinking too much about it. Comes from being trapped in this cabin.”

“I did try to tell you,” Lan Wangji said.

Wei Wuxian moaned. “Don’t put ‘I told you so’ on top of everything else. Come on. Let me have my dignity.”

Lan Wangji went back to his books. “If I see your dignity, I will alert you immediately,” he said, and Wei Wuxian laughed until his sides hurt.

~ ~ ~ ~

Jiang Cheng was doing surprisingly well, and it took effort for Jiang Yanli not to insult him by saying so.

He had lost his golden core. He could no longer cultivate. But he also now had the reputation of the man who had not only killed the fearsome Yiling Patriarch, but then reversed death to bring his sister back to life so thoroughly that not even Lan Qiren could find a trace of yin energy on her. Amazing! Cultivators were flocking to Lotus Pier to join the Jiang sect, as if his lost power would somehow rub off on them.

So although Jiang Cheng was not exactly smiling, he didn’t look as half-dead and self-pitying as he had when she had last seen him. He asked how she was doing and fussed over A-Ling and they had what would have seemed like a normal evening, if her heart wasn’t still racing with fear.

Finally, after everyone had retired for the night, she went to the ancestor’s hall. She prostrated herself three times and prayed for her mother’s courage, her father’s wisdom.

Jiang Cheng found her there, as she had expected he would. “It’s late,” he said quietly. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“No,” Jiang Yanli said, and stood up. “I need you to take me to Cloud Recesses.”

Jiang Cheng blinked. “What? Now?”

She shook her head. “Tomorrow morning. But I needed to talk to you about it now, when the Jin cultivators wouldn’t overhear. I have to speak to Zewu-Jun.” She had thought about this on the carriage ride there. She could not tell Jiang Cheng about Wei Wuxian being alive. She couldn’t predict how he would react. The same thing went for Wen Ning. But there was something she could tell him, something that would drive him to action no matter how he felt about everything else. “You know how Jin-zongzhu said he was going to execute Xue Yang, but then changed his sentence to life imprisonment?”

“I heard about it,” Jiang Cheng said, frowning.

“They didn’t even imprison him!” She lowered her voice despite the fact that she knew nobody was nearby. “A-Cheng, they want him to rebuild A-Xian’s amulet from the fragments left behind.”

Jiang Cheng’s back and shoulders went stiff. “They would dare – ” he began, but then cut himself off. “A-jie, how do you know this?”

“Jin-zongzhu told me! He didn’t make an attempt to hide it at all! He said it was their right as the most prominent clan, that they could use it to make sure none of the other clans ever tried to supplant them. I swear to you, A-Cheng, I heard his words with my own ears. We must tell Zewu-Jun and Chifeng-Zun what they’re doing.”

Jiang Cheng took a deep breath. “But then – why would we not leave right now?”

“I don’t think we dare make the Jin cultivators who came with us suspicious,” Jiang Yanli said. “Until we’ve spoken to the other clan leaders and decided what to do, isn’t it better to leave them thinking you don’t know? That I didn’t say anything to you?”

After a moment, Jiang Cheng nodded. “Why Gusu, though? The Unclean Realm is closer.”

“I know. But I’ve been visiting Zewu-Jun periodically because his flute music helps me sleep more peacefully. I asked to go there this time – I figured I could summon you once I was there – but Jin-zongzhu told me he didn’t want to bother him with a woman’s hysterics. But if you insisted – we could definitely go without raising any suspicions. We don’t have any reason to go to the Unclean Realm.”

“All right.” Jiang Cheng drew her into an embrace. “I can’t believe they would . . . but I guess I can. After what Jin-zongzhu said at the floral banquet, it’s clear he’s been after the Stygian Tiger Amulet for a long time.”

Jiang Yanli nodded and hugged her brother as tightly as she could. She felt safe in a way that she had not felt for weeks.

The next morning, at breakfast, Jiang Cheng played his role to perfection. In front of the Jin cultivators, he asked Jiang Yanli why she looked so tired. She confessed she hadn’t slept well, and mentioned the trips to Cloud Recesses. “Then I will take you there,” Jiang Cheng said. Jiang Yanli put up a token protest, saying Jin-zongzhu had told her not to bother Zewu-Jun. Jiang Cheng scowled and replied, “Jin-zongzhu does not dictate what I feel is best for my own sister. If Zewu-Jun is able to help you, then we will go to Zewu-Jun.” He stood and said to the Jin cultivators, “Please enjoy Lotus Pier’s hospitality. We will be back in three days.” His tone left no room for argument.

She really was exhausted, and ended up sleeping for most of the boat ride. She missed being on the water, the soothing motion of the boat. She missed the fresh lotus seeds. She missed her brothers, and she never wanted to go back to Koi Tower again.

Lan Xichen greeted them courteously but with obvious curiosity, puzzled that Jiang Yanli was with Jiang Cheng instead of Jin Guangyao, and that she was back so soon. Jiang Cheng, however, marched straight into a diatribe about Jin Guangshan and the Stygian Tiger amulet. Jiang Yanli took the opportunity to ask if she could rest for a bit while the two discussed it and sent a message to Nie Mingjue. Lan Xichen caught her eye and saw her clear objective, and told her that of course she was welcome to rest. He showed her to one of the guest rooms and said, “I’ll keep Jiang-zongzhu occupied for now. Please enjoy your visit.”

Jiang Yanli was fairly sure that she wouldn’t.

~ ~ ~ ~

A-Yuan’s afternoon naps, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had found, were an excellent time for intimacy. It had to be quick intimacy, hiding in the bathroom or behind one of the screens, but that typically wasn’t a problem. Although their marathon love-making session the first night had been amazing, it was honestly easier not to try to hold back. They couldn’t make a lot of noise, though, and that was a problem. On his previous visit, Lan Xichen said that perhaps he would start taking A-Yuan out a couple times a week to start his swordsmanship training. It was on its face a ludicrous suggestion – he was too young, the weather was still quite cold, and Lan Xichen wasn’t even the best person to do it – but both of them appreciated the implicit offer of an hour or two of privacy.

They were in the middle of undressing each other when there was a loud, brisk knock on the door. Both of them immediately tensed, as they always did when there was an unscheduled visit. Wei Wuxian threw his outer robe back on and peeked out the window. “It’s shijie,” he said, his voice surprised and obviously concerned. He waited another beat for Lan Wangji to straighten out his own clothes before pulling open the door. “Come in!” he said, hugging her and then kissing A-Ling on the forehead. “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t like the way she looked. She was pale and had dark circles under her eyes, as if she hadn’t slept since he had last seen her. And it was far too early for her to be back already. Something big had clearly happened.

With trembling hands, she squeezed Wei Wuxian’s shoulders and said, “A-Xian, I must tell you something very important, but before I do, I need you to promise that you won’t do anything rash. That you’ll sit and talk about things with me and Hanguang-Jun, and you’ll listen to our guidance. Do you promise?”

Feeling extremely nervous about this, Wei Wuxian lifted three fingers and said, “Okay, I promise.”

Jiang Yanli took a deep breath and said, “Wen Ning was not executed. He’s in the dungeons at Koi Tower.”

Wei Wuxian felt the air freeze in his lungs. He could barely think. Wen Ning. Sweet, gentle Wen Ning, who he had turned into a weapon against his will, who had been forced to kill by a stranger, who had voluntarily walked to his own death because he had thought it would save Wei Wuxian. Wen Ning. His friend.

He was halfway to the door before Lan Wangji caught his wrist and said in a low voice, “Wei Ying. You promised.”

Somehow, Wei Wuxian managed to halt his advance and not punch Lan Wangji in the face. He stopped and took a deep breath. “Shijie . . . are you sure?”

She nodded. “I saw him there.”

“What were you doing in the dungeons at Koi Tower?” Lan Wangji asked, frowning.

“Ah . . .” Jiang Yanli looked as if she did not want to give the answer. “Looking for Xue Yang.”

“Looking for who?” Wei Wuxian blurted out, too loudly. On the other side of the room, A-Yuan woke and began to cry.

“A-die, a-die, what’s wrong?” he asked, flinging himself out of bed and onto Wei Wuxian’s leg.

“Ah – nothing’s wrong, A-Yuan, I just – I was just startled by something.” Wei Wuxian managed to calm himself enough to scoop A-Yuan up and give him a hug. “I’m sorry that I woke you. How about some nice tea to help you get back to sleep?”

“No, I’m done napping now.” A-Yuan had seen Jiang Yanli. “Auntie Jiang! A-Ling!”

Jiang Yanli smiled at him softly. “Would you like to hold A-Ling for a little while, A-Yuan?”

“Yeah!”

She and Wei Wuxian sat down on the bed with A-Yuan in between them, and she placed A-Ling in the child’s lap. He patted the baby’s cheek and smiled happily. “A-Ling is my didi?”

“No, A-Yuan, he’s your shidi,” Wei Wuxian corrected. To Jiang Yanli, he said, “His concept of family is a little loose. He called Wen Ning uncle even though they were something like second cousins. I guess that’s what happens when you all live on a mountain of corpses together.”

Lan Wangji began to prepare tea. “Why is Xue Yang in Koi Tower, and why were you looking for him?”

Jiang Yanli told the whole story of Xue Yang’s ‘capture’ – which she had begun to think was not a capture at all – Nie Mingjue’s insistence on his execution, the commutation of his sentence. When she got to her trip to the dungeons, Wei Wuxian stared at her in astonishment. “What were you thinking?” he asked. “Do you know what would have happened if you had been caught? I told you it was fine to take things slowly!”

“I know, but I just – ” Jiang Yanli looked away and admitted softly, “I hadn’t slept in days. I was not thinking straight. I was so – I’m so desperate to get away from Koi Tower, A-Xian. Everything there reminds me of Zixuan. It’s so . . .” She stifled a sob. “I want to go home. But I want to prove your innocence. I didn’t know what else to do.”

Wei Wuxian pulled her into a hug, blotted at her tears. “I’m so sorry, shijie . . . I never should have asked you to do this . . .”

“I’m glad you did,” Jiang Yanli said. “I wanted to do it. I want to help you. I know things can never go back to the way they were before, but I want to go back to Lotus Pier with both my brothers.”

He held her for another minute, and then Lan Wangji set down the tray with the tea. “What happened after that?”

She continued the story, including what Jin Guangshan had said at breakfast the next morning, and Jin Guangyao’s efforts to stop him. Wei Wuxian gave a snort. “You almost have to feel bad for Jin Guangyao. He’s over on one side trying to be all crafty and deceptive, and then his father just blurts out their evil plans over breakfast.”

Lan Wangji looked quietly amused. “His life is truly difficult,” he said, and that made Wei Wuxian laugh. He had grown to appreciate Lan Wangji’s sense of humor a lot more over the past few months of being trapped in the cabin together.

She finished the story, and Wei Wuxian went tense again. “Jiang Cheng is here? In Cloud Recesses?”

“Yes, I left him in the main pavilion with Zewu-Jun. They were going to send a message to Chifeng-Zun but I doubt he will get here before tomorrow. The three of them will then decide what to do about Xue Yang.”

“We need to talk to Chifeng-Zun,” Lan Wangji said, then added, “without my brother being present.”

“That’s gonna be one hell of a trick,” Wei Wuxian said, “and I think you’d better leave me out of it. I don’t recall Chifeng-Zun looking on me too kindly at Nightless City. Until he believes that Jin Guangyao was the author of everything that happened, he’ll try to lop my head off on first sight.”

“Unfortunate but true,” Lan Wangji murmured.

“But this is a problem,” Jiang Yanli said. “We have too many people who can’t be in a room together! A-Xian cannot be seen by either A-Cheng or Chifeng-Zun. We need to talk to Chifeng-Zun without Zewu-Jun . . . can we not all just be honest with each other?”

Wei Wuxian took her by the shoulders and said, “You know what Jiang Cheng will do if he sees that I’m alive, shijie.”

“But he has no right to!” Jiang Yanli drew herself up. “You were not the cause of my death. You were not the cause of my husband’s death. I will look A-Cheng in the eye and dare him to tell me that he will not accept you!”

“But he lost his golden core again because of me,” Wei Wuxian said. “He’ll never forgive me for that.”

“It was yours! Yours to do with what you chose! You gave it to him of your own free will.” Jiang Yanli stood up. “A-Cheng will have to accept that eventually. I think Hanguang-Jun should go ahead to Chifeng-Zun so he can alert him to our suspicions without Zewu-Jun being present. You and I will go speak with Jiang Cheng.”

Wei Wuxian cringed. “Shijie . . .”

“Don’t ‘shijie’ me!” Jiang Yanli said. “I am sick to death of the two of you not getting along. When this is over, I am going back to Lotus Pier with both my brothers. This is not a discussion!”

Lan Wangji cleared his throat. “While I agree with you in spirit, Jin-furen, I will not leave Wei Ying to face his brother alone. We will find a way to speak with Chifeng-Zun in private after we have discussed matters with our brothers.”

“Not you too,” Wei Wuxian whined.

“Get up, A-Xian,” Jiang Yanli said. “It’s time for you to stop hiding.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Chapter Text

Jiang Yanli felt the same reckless courage coming over her that had guided her into the dungeons in the first place, and she did not fight it. She all but dragged Wei Wuxian down the path to the main pavilion, while Lan Wangji followed in his usual stately manner, carrying A-Yuan, who could not keep up with the pace Jiang Yanli set.

“Please, please, can we at least give Jiang Cheng some warning before you throw me into a room with him,” Wei Wuxian pleaded, and Jiang Yanli had to admit that this was probably reasonable. He had grabbed a cloak before leaving and had the hood drawn up to hide his face, so he would be fine outside the jingshi with Lan Wangji for a few minutes.

“Ah, a-jie, you’re up so soon,” Jiang Cheng said. “You can rest a bit more – we just sent the message to Chifeng-Zun but he won’t arrive until tomorrow – ”

“I have to tell you something important,” Jiang Yanli said, and saw Lan Xichen’s eyes widen in a bit of alarm. “A-Xian is still alive.”

“What?” Jiang Cheng’s fists clenched at his sides. “How? Where? I’m going to – ”

“You are going to do nothing until I’ve explained,” Jiang Yanli said, and Jiang Cheng blinked at her, clearly taken off guard by her forceful words. “A-Xian is the one who brought me back. Not you. That’s why you don’t remember doing it.”

“But – ” Jiang Cheng looked more bewildered than anything else. “My golden core – ”

“Was his golden core. Yours was never restored by Baoshan Sanren. His was given to you, of his own free will.”

Jiang Cheng’s mouth stayed open for several long seconds.

Jiang Yanli took a deep breath. “When A-Xian did the spell to bring me back, he expected that he would be destroyed, body and soul. He did not realize that the spell would take the golden core that he gave to you.”

“That – that son of a – ”

“There is more!” Jiang Yanli raised her voice despite herself. “A-Xian did not lose control over Wen Ning the day Zixuan was killed. His control was undermined by somebody else.”

Jiang Cheng looked even more confused. Lan Xichen cleared his throat and said, “Jin-furen, that is still unproven. I know that you – ”

“Excuse me, Zewu-Jun!” Jiang Yanli interrupted, inwardly appalled at herself and yet strangely thrilled. “I am not done speaking. Wen Ning was not executed by the Jin clan as they claimed. He is imprisoned in the dungeons at Koi Tower. They seek to use him as a weapon against anyone who opposes them, with the help of Xue Yang, who can control Yin iron. I suspect they have been in contact with Xue Yang for some time and he is who helped them ambush A-Xian at Qiongqi Way.” This she was less sure of, but leaving Jin Guangyao out of it for now would help her get Lan Xichen on her side. “The Jin clan has lied to everybody about their intentions and their actions and I am a direct witness to those lies. A-Xian is innocent of the crimes of which he is accused and I expect both of you to help me prove it.”

Lan Xichen looked somewhat impressed. Jiang Cheng was still just staring at her, and then he let out a choked noise that was half-laugh, half-sob. “You – you looked just like Mom for a minute,” he said.

Jiang Yanli gave a small laugh herself. “I prayed to her for her courage last night. I feel as if she is with me.”

“Where’s Wei Wuxian?” Jiang Cheng asked.

“Outside. I will bring him in. And there will be children present, A-Cheng, so behave yourself.” Without waiting to see his response to that, she ducked outside and gestured for Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji to come in. They did, the former drawing back his hood but cringing when he saw Jiang Cheng’s face.

“Ah . . . Jiang Cheng . . . don’t be angry . . .”

Jiang Yanli interrupted. “A-Cheng, this is your nephew, A-Yuan. A-Yuan, this is your Uncle Jiang.”

“Another uncle?” A-Yuan sounded thrilled. “I have so many uncles now!”

“What . . .” Jiang Cheng looked lost.

“He was an orphan in the Wen clan,” Wei Wuxian said. “Lan Zhan and I have been raising him. Jiang Cheng . . . I’m sorry. I hid the truth from you.”

Jiang Cheng closed his eyes for a long minute, his fists trembling at his sides. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It hurts, doesn’t it?” Wei Wuxian asked, and Jiang Cheng scowled at him. “To know the truth? That’s why. I never wanted you to be hurt by it. I just thought . . . it was better this way. Maybe I was wrong. I don’t know. But I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Jiang Cheng whispered. The two of them stared at each other, tears pouring down both their faces. “I’m sorry.”

“Enough,” Jiang Yanli said gently. “It is over now. Both of you have been hurt so much, but it was not by each other. It was by the Wen clan and the Jin clan. The former is gone; the latter must still be dealt with. But once it is dealt with, we are all going back to Lotus Pier, together, as a family.”

Wei Wuxian nodded and began to sob. Jiang Cheng clutched his brother to him, burying his tears in Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. Jiang Yanli reached out and hugged them from the side, so she could hold them both at once, and they held each other for a long time.

~ ~ ~ ~

After everyone finally calmed down, Lan Wangji was thinking that, if nothing else, at least they could perhaps leave A-Yuan with his uncles and aunt for a while so he and Wei Wuxian could have some privacy. Nie Mingjue wouldn’t be there until the next day; there was really nothing they could do at the moment. Although Lan Wangji would have been happy to charge into Koi Tower without him – and frankly it was a miracle that Wei Wuxian hadn’t already tried to do so – he knew that Nie Mingjue was going to be the most helpful ally against Jin Guangyao.

All of that was thrown into disarray before they even started dinner when Lan Xichen got a message from Jin Guangyao himself. He opened it and paled as he read it. “What is it?” several people clamored.

“A-Yao suspects that Wei-gongzi is alive,” Lan Xichen said evenly. “He said the Jin clan and several others are gathering men to march on the Burial Mounds.”

“What?” Wei Wuxian asked. “How could he know?”

Lan Wangji’s expression tightened. “The array you left at the Burial Mounds. We should have destroyed it.”

“Okay, but what the fuck was he doing at the Burial Mounds?” Wei Wuxian asked. “I thought the place had already been sacked – isn’t that why Lan Zhan got in trouble? For trying to keep them from going through my stuff?”

“It was a little more complex than that, but essentially, yes,” Lan Xichen said.

“But there is a new variable now,” Lan Wangji said. “Xue Yang. He might have gone to see if you had left anything that we missed. Especially since he has the fragments of the amulet, which would react to any other pieces of Yin Iron. He probably went there, saw the array, and told Jin Guangyao.”

“Ah . . .” Lan Xichen said. “I still find it hard to believe that A-Yao would associate with Xue Yang.”

Wei Wuxian opened his mouth to say that nobody cared what Lan Xichen found hard to believe, then thought better of the idea and shot a desperate look at Lan Wangji. In an even tone, Lan Wangji said, “Presumably, he is doing this at the behest of his father. Will you agree that, as much as you believe A-Yao is a man of honor and integrity, he is also deeply invested in his father’s approval?”

Lan Xichen sighed. “Yes. I must agree with that.”

“So they figured out Wei Wuxian is alive, but why would they storm the Burial Mounds?” Jiang Cheng asked. “If they know he was alive because they saw the array, they also know he’s not there.”

“They probably assume he was only out temporarily, and that he will return,” Lan Wangji said.

“So let them go lay waste to an empty mountain,” Jiang Cheng said. “I don’t think we need to be there for that.”

Wei Wuxian shook his head. “It’s a trap, isn’t it?”

“Right, so let’s not walk into it,” Jiang Cheng said.

“Not for us,” Wei Wuxian said. “For them. Xue Yang is probably already there. He’ll use the Yin iron, he’ll summon up some corpses. He’ll kill a bunch of the cultivators who go to confront me, and yet again, everyone will assume I’m the one who’s responsible.”

Lan Wangji’s face was expressionless. “Xiongzhang,” he said, “do you believe Jin-gongzi knows you are capable of lying to him, if the occasion calls for it?”

Lan Xichen sighed. “I think A-Yao still assumes that everyone is capable of lying to him and betraying him. Two years of friendship was almost definitely not enough to ease his inherent mistrust of the world. So if your question is, would A-Yao send me this message thinking Wei-gongzi would find out, the answer is yes.”

“I don’t think it matters to him if I show up or not,” Wei Wuxian said. “If I’m there, all the better – there can be survivors who saw me. But even if I’m not, nobody will believe it wasn’t me.”

“Then we’d better stop it from happening,” Jiang Cheng said.

Wei Wuxian nodded. “My guess is that he already told Chifeng-Zun – and his message will have beaten ours there. Hopefully we’ll be able to meet up with him there. If not, we can go to the Unclean Realm after we’ve sorted out whatever’s going to happen at the Burial Mounds. But first we have to go get Wen Ning.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Wei Wuxian was practically going out of his mind with anticipation as the carriage pulled through the gates of Lanling. He was still half-convinced that they were going to be caught and stopped. But nobody seemed to care. It was late, past the dinner hour. They had split off from Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng, who were going to join up with the siege forces in the hopes of being able to keep them from doing anything more rash than they were already definitely going to do. A-Yuan and A-Ling had been left at Cloud Recesses, in the care of a grumpy and suspicious Lan Qiren.

They stopped not far into the city and Jiang Yanli guided them through the busy streets and to a gate that was towards the rear of Koi Tower. “Not many people know about this way in,” she said. “Zixuan showed me . . . it was a way for him to escape when his parents were being too overbearing.” A shadow briefly covered her face, but her pace didn’t slow. “From there it’s only a short walk to the dungeons.” 

“Are you sure you should be coming with us?” Wei Wuxian asked for what felt like the hundredth time. 

Jiang Yanli’s jaw was set, and her hand clenched down on where she wore Zidian on her index finger. “The quicker you can get in and out, the better. I’m the one who’s been here before and knows where Wen Ning is. There’s a greater chance you’ll run into somebody if you have to wander the dungeons looking for him.”

It was the same answer she had given before, and Wei Wuxian agreed with it even while absolutely hating it. He knew she was right, but he wanted his sister as far away from this as was humanly possible. Before they had left, Jiang Cheng had insisted she take Zidian with her, since he didn’t have the power to use it anyway. The sight of it on her hand reassured Wei Wuxian, although it also sent pangs of sorrow through him.

At least things went smoothly. Nobody stopped them or demanded to know who this strange hooded man was. Jiang Yanli guided them through the dungeon, and Wei Wuxian forgot about everything else when he saw Wen Ning.

He looked terrible, almost as bad as he had the day Wei Wuxian had brought him back to life. His hair was tangled and snarled; his eyes pure black. He snarled at them when they tried to approach, and it wasn’t a human noise.

“Oh . . .” Wei Wuxian felt like he had been punched in the gut. “Oh, Wen Ning. What have they done to you?” He reached into his belt and pulled out Chenqing.

Lan Wangji put a restraining hand on his wrist. “If you start playing, every guard in Koi Tower is going to hear it.”

“I know, but we can’t take him out of here like this,” Wei Wuxian said. He saw Lan Wangji shake his head, and took a deep breath. After a moment to think, he puckered his lips and began to whistle softly.

It wasn’t anywhere near as potent as the sound of the ghost flute would be, and he was counting on his deep connection with Wen Ning to make it work. Thankfully, it did. Wen Ning’s snarls and pacing stopped. He stared blankly in Wei Wuxian’s direction. Wei Wuxian took another breath and said, “Come here.”

Wen Ning walked towards the cell’s bars. His gait was awkward and stilted.

“Are you sure you should - ” Jiang Yanli began, as Wei Wuxian reached through the bars. But Wen Ning was docile as he felt around on the back of his head.

“They’ve done something to suppress his consciousness,” Wei Wuxian said, more to himself than to the others. “I bet there’s - ah!” His fingers found a small nub of metal. Then a second. “Skull-piercing nails,” he said, and Jiang Yanli shuddered. “We’d better be ready to go in a hurry - this isn’t going to be quiet. And they may be used to him making some noise, but this isn’t going to be the same as usual.”

Lan Wangji nodded, his hand tightening on Bichen’s hilt.

Wei Wuxian took a deep breath and started to pull the nails out. Wen Ning’s body immediately went taut and rigid, his back bowing. He screamed in pain, fists clenching at his sides, and the sound was horrible to hear. Wei Wuxian didn’t want to pull on the nails too hard, but took care to do it steadily. It only took about five seconds, but it felt like a year.

Finally, they were out. Wen Ning’s body almost collapsed, and Wei Wuxian grabbed him by the armpits to keep him standing. “Wen Ning. Wen Ning!”

“Ah . . . Wei . . . gongzi . . .” Wen Ning’s voice was hoarse and raspy. “Where . . .”

“I’ll explain everything later. Bust down this door so we can get going.”

Wen Ning nodded, a little clarity returning to his gaze. He grabbed the bars and wrenched the door open. A minute later, they were out of the dungeon.

“Ride the sword,” Lan Wangji said. “Jin-furen, are you able?”

Jiang Yanli nodded. “I’ll take A-Xian; you take Wen-gongzi,” she said.

Despite himself, Wei Wuxian let out a little gasp as they moved into the air. “Oh, I don’t like this,” he murmured, clinging to his sister from behind and burying his face in her shoulder. “I don’t like this at all.” He laughed a little hysterically. “Now I’m afraid of heights and dogs, which is just fantastic . . .”

Lan Wangji looked over and it seemed like he might ask what was wrong, until he remembered the last time Wei Wuxian had ridden as a passenger on someone else’s sword. Instead, he steered his own close enough that he could briefly squeeze Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. “We won’t let you fall.”

Wei Wuxian nodded but didn’t loosen his grip on Jiang Yanli.

When they finally landed on the ground in the Burial Mounds, his entire body was trembling. Lan Wangji had to help him sit down. He took a moment to regain his composure and then looked around sadly. “They really did a number on this place, huh . . . was it really necessary to tear up all the crops? Even the lotus plants . . .”

Wen Ning was looking around as well. “What happened? How long has it been?”

“It’s been almost three months,” Wei Wuxian said. “What do you remember?”

Wen Ning had to think intensely for a few moments. “They separated me from the others. I thought it was because they were going to do something special for my execution, but then . . . I don’t remember much after that. I was somewhere very dark. It felt like people were coming and going, but it was all very far away.” He suddenly seemed to realize that if he hadn’t been executed, it was possible the others hadn’t been either. He looked up eagerly. “Jiejie?”

Wei Wuxian shook his head. “I can’t be certain, but . . . they wouldn’t have had any use for her alive, the way they did you . . . or any of the others, either. It’s just the two of us and A-Yuan who are left.”

“A-Yuan?” Wen Ning looked around. “Where is A-Yuan?”

“Safe at Cloud Recesses,” Wei Wuxian said. “Lan Zhan took him back there, after I . . .”

His voice trailed off. Wen Ning looked at him solemnly. “What happened after we left you?”

“I tried to save you,” Wei Wuxian said, eyes stinging. “But I didn’t get there in time. And then I . . .”

Wen Ning sighed. “We did what we did so you wouldn’t be in danger, Wei-gongzi. You should have just let us go.”

“How could I?” Wei Wuxian asked. “You were my family.”

Wen Ning looked away. “We wanted you to be safe.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Lan Wangji said quietly. “They were never going to let Wei Ying go. Jin Guangshan has been after the Stygian Tiger amulet for years. If Wei Ying hadn’t come out to them, they would have come here for him.”

Quietly, Wen Ning said, “Then our sacrifice . . . was entirely for nothing.”

Lan Wangji shook his head. “You had no way of knowing that Jin-zongzhu had no intention of honoring his word. That was not your fault.”

Silence sat in the clearing. 

“It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” Wen Ning murmured. “Jiejie and I . . . we were supposed to die together. How can she be gone but I’m still here?”

Wei Wuxian impatiently wiped tears off his cheeks. He felt like he had been crying for three days straight. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry, Wen Ning. I’m so sorry.”

“No . . . don’t apologize, Wei-gongzi,” Wen Ning said. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was, though,” Wei Wuxian said. “I’m the one who brought you back. I turned you into a weapon against your will, and now everyone’s going to fight over you and use you to hurt other people. I . . .” He had to choke down another sob. “If you want to go be with your sister, I understand. I could, if that’s . . . if that’s what you wanted.”

Wen Ning’s eyes went wide and he waved his hands almost comically. “No, no! I don’t want that. How can I protect you if I’m gone?”

Wei Wuxian had to fight another burst of tears. “What did I ever do to deserve this sort of loyalty from you, Wen Ning? Just because I helped you out when the water demon was attacking . . . you more than paid me back for that the night my parents were killed. Hell, you had already paid me back for that by helping me in the dungeons of the indoctrination camp. Why would you act this way towards me?”

Wen Ning looked at first bewildered, but then a little sad. “Wei-gongzi . . . aren’t we friends?”

This time, Wei Wuxian was unable to hold back the tears. He half-collapsed into Wen Ning’s arms, clutching at his shoulders and crying uncontrollably. Wen Ning awkwardly patted him on the back. “Of course we’re friends,” Wei Wuxian choked out. “We’re more than that. You’re my brother, Wen Ning. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t protect you.”

“It’s not your job to protect everybody, you know,” Wen Ning said.

Wei Wuxian managed a laugh. “I know. Jiang Cheng always says I have a hero complex and it gets me into trouble.”

“Amazing,” Lan Wangji murmured. “Jiang Wanyin and I agree on something.”

That made Wei Wuxian laugh harder, and the worst of his tears finally stopped. Lan Wangji sat down beside him and produced a cloth for him to clean his face. Wei Wuxian took several deep breaths and said, “Thank you, Wen Ning. I’m really glad you’re still here.”

Wen Ning smiled. “I’m glad too.”

Jiang Yanli sat down beside them. “How long do you think we have before the others arrive?”

“They won’t rush something like this,” Wei Wuxian said, “but they won’t want to dawdle, either. I’d say to expect them a few hours after dawn tomorrow.”

“What’s happening now?” Wen Ning asked.

“It’s been a busy three months,” Wei Wuxian said dryly. “The most important part is that a bunch of cultivators are coming here to kill me, but it’s a trap for them, because Xue Yang is going to kill a lot of them and then blame it on me.” He saw Wen Ning’s blank look and sighed. “Right, from the beginning . . .”

It took about an hour to explain everything to Wen Ning. While Wei Wuxian spoke, Jiang Yanli built up a fire and Lan Wangji set up wards around the clearing. Not only did they have to worry about the inherent evil that lurked in the Burial Mounds, it was also possible that Xue Yang was lurking somewhere nearby. 

Jiang Yanli pulled out some rations and they began to eat. Mouth full, Wei Wuxian said, “Oh, that reminds me, Wen Ning - you have more technical knowledge about what your sister did with my golden core than I do. Take a look at this.”

Wen Ning frowned as Wei Wuxian pulled out the scroll that detailed the process of removing someone’s golden core against their will. “This is very different from what jiejie did.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured,” Wei Wuxian said. “She was really precise and surgical about it. This seems more like ripping someone’s heart out with your bare hands and then cramming it down someone else’s throat.”

“That’s . . .” Wen Ning thought about it, then said, “fairly accurate, really.”

“Do you think it would work?” Jiang Yanli asked, leaning forward. “A-Xian, why is this the first I’m hearing about this? A way for both you and A-Cheng to get your golden cores back?”

“I didn’t want to say anything because we didn’t know if it would work or not,” Wei Wuxian said with a shrug.

“The first part would definitely work,” Wen Ning said. “It wouldn’t even be difficult. I’m not sure about the transplant, though . . . when jiejie did it, the problem wasn’t just the removal or even the transfer. It was reconnection on the other side. Connecting the core to Jiang-gongzi’s spiritual pathways. Otherwise it just sits there, inert, and gradually dissipates.”

“The body wouldn’t connect it automatically?” Wei Wuxian asked.

“Well . . . yours would, I think,” Wen Ning said, “because of how jiejie removed it. I don’t know about Jiang-gongzi’s, though, because what Wen Zhuliu did damaged that part of him. It’s hard to say . . . and so much would be lost in the transfer. It would have to be done immediately, within seconds, and even then I would estimate that at least ninety percent would dissipate before it reconnected.”

“But once you have the spark, the golden core can grow again,” Lan Wangji said.

Wen Ning nodded. “Yes.”

“So it would be worth trying,” Lan Wangji said.

Another nod. “I couldn’t do it myself, though . . . I can’t cultivate anymore. And jiejie is gone, so . . . you would have to do it, Hanguang-Jun.”

Wei Wuxian saw Lan Wangji’s lips momentarily tighten, like he found this idea discomfiting but didn’t want to admit it out loud. “Would you please go over the procedure with me step-by-step?”

Looking a little excited at the idea of teaching the great Hanguang-Jun something, Wen Ning smiled and said, “Of course.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Chapter Text

It was a long night, waiting at the Burial Mounds, but Lan Wangji didn’t mind. Watching Wei Wuxian joke with Wen Ning and smile at his sister brought the same calm sense of peace that he felt at their cabin in seclusion. He didn’t know what was going to happen over the next twenty-four hours, but he knew he was no longer alone in protecting Wei Wuxian. He couldn’t ask for more than that.

Wen Ning didn’t need to sleep, so each of the other three took a turn keeping watching with him. But there was no sign of Xue Yang, or anyone else for that matter.

About an hour after dawn, while they were eating breakfast, Wei Wuxian’s hand suddenly went to his chest. Lan Wangji caught him as he wavered. “They’re at the foot of the mountain,” Wei Wuxian said. “I can feel them stirring up the resentful energy. It’ll probably take them about an hour to get here, depending on if they have to fight anyone or anything on their way up.”

“Will they?” Jiang Yanli asked, looking anxious.

Wei Wuxian nodded. “I can feel the corpses stirring.”

“How much of the amulet do you think Xue Yang was able to put back together?” Lan Wangji asked, although he didn’t really expect Wei Wuxian to have an answer.

“Even if he only has a shard or two, that’s more than enough to raise some corpses,” Wei Wuxian said. “He just won’t be able to control them very well. Which means I might be able to seize control over them.” He shrugged then added, “Or I might not.”

The wait was nearly unbearable. Wei Wuxian paced. Jiang Yanli fidgeted and fretted. Lan Wangji attempted to meditate but kept getting distracted by their movements. Only Wen Ning was still, almost unnaturally so.

Finally, people started to emerge from the trees. “He’s here!” somebody shouted, and they began to rush forward. Lan Wangji summoned his guqin and knocked them back with a wave of force. That slowed their momentum enough for two people to push their way to the front of the crowd. One was Nie Mingjue. The other was Su She, and Lan Wangji felt his lip curl involuntarily.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Nie Mingjue demanded. “Wangji! You know what this man is capable of. You were there at Nightless City! Why would you stand between us?”

Lan Wangji scanned the crowd. He saw Jiang Cheng, whose jaw was set unhappily, near the back. Wei Wuxian had told him not to get involved unless he had to, to avoid damaging the Jiang clan reputation if things went south. But he didn’t see Lan Xichen. “Where is my brother?”

“And Jin Guangyao?” Jiang Yanli asked, stepping up beside Lan Wangji.

Nie Mingjue scowled, but answered even though he clearly didn’t like the fact that they had answered his question with a question. “Jin Guangyao was badly hurt in an assassination attempt this morning. Xichen stayed with him to help heal his injuries.”

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji exchanged a look, but neither of them said anything.

“Wei Wuxian!” Su She pointed his sword at them. “We’re here to make you answer for what you did at Nightless City and Qiongqi Way! We had to fight an army of your corpses just to get this far! Will you come quietly?”

Lan Wangji ignored Su She entirely and said to Nie Mingjue, “It is considerably more complicated than that. At Qiongqi W - ”

A dozen corpses burst out from the tangled forest, with several dozen more behind them. All of the cultivators spun around to face them, but then something strange happened. As they pulled their weapons or attempted to use their spiritual powers, they staggered. Blood burst from Nie Mingjue’s mouth, as well as several others.

Lan Wangji did not hesitate. He jumped into the fray and beat back several of the corpses with an attack from his guqin before pulling his sword. Beside him, the light of Zidian flashed as Jiang Yanli fought from her place beside Wei Wuxian. Wen Ning charged into the crowd as well, throwing the corpses left and right.

“Into the cave!” Jiang Yanli shouted. “We can bar the doors!”

“We can’t go inside!” Su She yelled. “It must be his plan to lure us in! There must be a more dangerous trap waiting for us there!”

For a moment, Lan Wangji was genuinely amused at the tired, ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ look on Wei Wuxian’s face. “Staying outside will get you killed,” Wei Wuxian said in a calm tone. “Going inside will also get you killed. Either way is a dead end. But at least going inside will stall them. Su She, why are you in such a hurry to ask everyone to die with you?”

There was a moment of hesitation in the crowd. Jiang Cheng broke it, shouting, “I’m going in if the rest of you won’t,” and charging towards the cave’s entrance. That broke the reluctance of most of the others, and they began to stream inside. Su She still hesitated, but followed at the last second, letting Lan Wangji and Wen Ning hold off the corpses long enough for everyone to get inside. As soon as the doors slammed shut, Wen Ning braced his back against them. 

Wei Wuxian made a few quick marks on his array on the floor, and the crowd outside quieted. “That won’t hold them for long, especially if Xue Yang is using what’s left of my amulet to drive them forward.”

Nie Mingjue pushed his way through the crowd. “Xue Yang? Are you saying that devil is responsible for this?”

“Impossible!” Su She sneered. “The Jin clan has him imprisoned!”

“Like the Jin clan had Wen Ning executed?” Jiang Yanli asked, gesturing to him. Several of the cultivators gave shocked gasps as they noticed him for the first time. “Jin-zongzhu never intended to imprison Xue Yang. He admitted to me himself that they plan to use his skill to mend the Stygian Tiger Amulet. I immediately went to my brother and Zewu-Jun to discuss the matter. Chifeng-Zun, we sent a message to you, but I think Jin Guangyao’s message about Wei Wuxian being alive must have reached you first.”

“It’s true,” Lan Wangji said. “I was there when she came to Cloud Recesses with Jiang-zongzhu. All of this is the doing of Jin Guangshan . . . and Jin Guangyao.”

Nie Mingjue’s eyes widened. He glanced around at the restless crowd before saying, “What is that snake up to?”

Quietly, Wei Wuxian said, “That snake needed his brother, my sister’s husband, my nephew’s father, out of the way. I was a convenient scapegoat.” He held up three fingers and said, “Chifeng-Zun, I do not deny that I acted rashly and violently at Nightless City, out of grief and madness. But I swear to you on my cultivation and my mother’s grave that I am not responsible for Jin Zixuan’s death at Qiongqi Way. There was a second flutist there. He seized control of Wen Ning and used him to kill Jin Zixuan and Jin Zixun.”

“Why are you dignifying these blatant lies?” Su She stepped forward. “Wei Wuxian, you would dare address Chifeng-Zun - ”

Jiang Yanli snapped Zidian forward. It sizzled through the air just in front of Su She as a warning, not as a direct hit. But the force was still enough to rip through the fabric of his shirt. Lan Wangji saw the red marks that dotted his chest, and his eyes went wide. “Hundred holes!”

Su She grabbed both parts of his shirt and held them back together. “I - ”

“Now I get it,” Wei Wuxian said. “I finally understand everything that happened. It’s you who took away this lot’s spiritual power, too, isn’t it?”

“Of course not! Why would I - ”

“You wouldn’t have all eaten together before coming up the mountain,” Wei Wuxian said. “So you weren’t poisoned through food. It can’t be anything airborne, because then my shijie and Hanguang-Jun would be affected. More so, because we were on the mountain all night. What else is left?”

“Enough!” Su She shouted. “How can you have a serious discussion with him? You’re being fooled by your enemy!”

“Quiet!” Nie Mingjue barked. “Wei Wuxian may have been corrupted by resentful energy. But he is still ten times the cultivator you will ever be. Unless you have a good explanation for why Hundred Holes is on your chest, keep your mouth shut!”

Wei Wuxian bowed slightly to Nie Mingjue and then continued. “Even outside, you were urging your fellow cultivators to fight and die. It’s strange, isn’t it? Now he’s trying to stop me from figuring out or explaining the situation. Almost as if . . .”

“Get on with it,” Jiang Cheng said, folding his arms over his chest.

Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but smile at his brother. “There’s one thing you all did together - fight the corpses. That instrument you carry, Su She - it’s almost identical to a guqin, is it not? So I assume that you were using it to kill puppets. We could hear you coming up the mountain, actually. Let me ask you, Lan Zhan - how was the quality of the music?”

“Poor,” Lan Wangji said immediately. “He made several errors.”

Su She scowled at him. “The Gusu Lan clan has no right to judge - ”

“They literally taught you everything you know; of course he has the right to judge you,” Wei Wuxian said. “Lan Zhan. Is it possible that, if you played certain melodies with resentful power, you might be able to damage the spiritual energy of others?”

Lan Wangji was surprised, because he had never thought of such a dirty trick before, but nodded. “That may be possible. I would have to consult with my uncle before I could say for sure.”

“So I’m not perfect,” Su She sneered. “I made a few mistakes on the melodies. Are you satisfied now?”

“No,” Jiang Yanli stepped forward. “You are a very skilled musician, Su-zongzhu, as much as I dislike saying it. I’ve heard you discuss music with Jin Guangyao on more than one occasion. Your Gusu education on the subject would have been very thorough indeed. To be accepted as a disciple at all, you would have had to have been skilled. I for one cannot believe that you were simply ‘making mistakes’ - not in conjunction with all the other evidence.” Tears were forming in her eyes, and she was clearly fighting them back. “You cursed Jin Zixun. The proof is on your chest. What else did you do, Su-zongzhu? A skilled musician such as yourself. Were you playing the flute that day?” Her voice grew louder as she choked out, “Did you murder my husband?”

“Listen to her! She’s hysterical!” Su She protested. “How could I possibly have done any of what she’s saying? How would I have known such evil melodies?”

“You were given them,” Lan Wangji said. “They must have come from the forbidden scrolls at Cloud Recesses.”

“Ridiculous! Even as a disciple, I was never allowed into the forbidden section of the library!”

“Of course you weren’t,” Wei Wuxian said. “Who else might have been able to get to them?” He looked directly at Nie Mingjue. “Someone who is a master spy . . . a trusted friend of Zewu-Jun . . . who can memorize pages just by looking at them . . .”

“Close friends with Su She,” Lan Wangji added quietly, “and the only direct beneficiary from Jin Zixuan’s death.”

“And the one who told you all to gather here and march on the Burial Mounds,” Wei Wuxian concluded, “but was conveniently injured so he could avoid coming himself.”

Nie Mingjue’s face was furious. “That snake. I’ll kill him this time. He won’t be able to talk his way out of this.”

“You don’t have any evidence of any of this!” Su She shouted. “Only that I cursed Jin Zixun. And why shouldn’t I have? He was rude and arrogant!”

“Well, as much as we can’t argue that,” Wei Wuxian said, “how about we take you back to Jin Guangyao and see what he has to say?”

Su She’s gaze darted around the cave. He saw stony faces everywhere he looked, no support, no escape. Then he looked down at the array at his feet.

“Ah, he’s going to - ” Wei Wuxian began, before Su She spit a mouthful of blood down onto the circle, ruining its integrity. Seconds later, the door burst open and corpses began to stream in. Wen Ning jumped to the front of them, kicking them back.

“I don’t think I can hold them all off!” he shouted, and Jiang Yanli joined him, clearing half a dozen at once with a long sweep from Zidian. 

“Fuck,” Wei Wuxian said, and tugged his outer shirt off. He ran his fingers down Bichen’s edge and started drawing a lure flag on the white shirt he wore underneath. “I’ll be the bait; Hanguang-Jun can do the killing. Wen Ning!” he raised his voice to a shout. “Clear a path! Get them out of here!”

“What about Su She?” Nie Mingjue roared, seeing him edging towards the back of the cave. 

Zidian’s light flashed out and the whip wrapped around Su She’s wrist. “I have him!” Jiang Yanli called back.

“Go!” Wei Wuxian shouted. “Go, now!”

There was a mad rush towards the exit of the cave, then the edge of the clearing. Wen Ning led the way, with Nie Mingjue on rear guard, occasionally kicking back a corpse with raw human strength, regardless of his lack of spiritual power. Jiang Yanli stayed in the middle of the crowd, pulling Su She along with her. 

Halfway down the mountain, they finally stopped to catch their breath. “We’ll wait here for Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-Jun,” Jiang Cheng said firmly. He walked over to his sister and gave her a brief hug, then looked at Su She, who was struggling against Zidian. “Do you really think it was him?”

Jiang Yanli nodded. “Guangyao would not have dared play the flute himself. He never does anything himself, in case you haven’t noticed. He’s always convincing others to do it for him.”

A few minutes later, Wei Wuxian came staggering down the path. Lan Wangji was half-supporting, half-carrying him. Wen Ning walked behind them.

“Are you okay?” Jiang Cheng asked, practically seizing Wei Wuxian by the upper arms.

Wei Wuxian gave a tired nod. “ ‘ll make it,” he mumbled, before passing out in Lan Wangji’s embrace.

Scowling, Nie Mingjue said, “We need to get back to Koi Tower as quickly as possible. If Xue Yang was the one summoning the corpses, then he might report our escape to Jin Guangyao. He might run.”

“If he runs, then he runs,” Lan Wangji said. “It will be hours before your spiritual power has returned. There is only so fast we can make the journey.”

Nie Mingjue frowned. “If we rode the sword, you could take me on yours.”

“Then there would be no one to – ” Lan Wangji realized just in time that he was about to reveal Wei Wuxian’s coreless status.

Jiang Yanli stepped forward and said, “If those of us with spiritual power went, there would be no one left to protect the cultivators who are still recovering. As much as I do not want to wait, I believe it would be the wiser choice.”

Nie Mingjue sighed but capitulated. “At the very least, let us stay on the move until we’ve gotten out of the Burial Mounds. Then perhaps we can leave behind those who have not yet recovered in a safe place.”

Everyone agreed to that, and they continued down the mountain. Wen Ning carried Wei Wuxian without being asked, but he woke back up before they reached the bottom and insisted that he was fine to walk. While they made the journey, he and Lan Wangji explained more of the situation to Nie Mingjue.

“Then we have two problems,” Nie Mingjue said. “The first is Jin Guangshan. He is the one responsible for Xue Yang’s freedom and the attempts to rebuild the Stygian Tiger Amulet. Wei Wuxian, I assume you agree that it is better if that does not happen.”

“I broke the damned thing, didn’t I?” Wei Wuxian asked, and Jiang Yanli squeezed his wrist gently. He sighed and said, “Yeah. It’s definitely better if it stays gone. Nobody should have that much power. Not me, not Xue Yang, sure as hell not Jin Guangshan.”

Nie Mingjue nodded, satisfied. “And the second problem is Jin Guangyao, who is responsible for Jin Zixuan’s murder and framing you for atrocities.”

“Maybe we should just lock them in a room together and see who comes out,” Wei Wuxian muttered.

“The problem with that is that one might come out,” Lan Wangji murmured, and Wei Wuxian gave a snort of laughter.

“There’s only so much we can really do about Jin-zongzhu, isn’t there?” Jiang Cheng said. “Even the other clans put together can’t really challenge him right now. If he wants to set Xue Yang free, can we stop him? Or should we just focus on finding the maniac and killing him, regardless of what Jin-zongzhu thinks?”

Nie Mingjue nodded. “You may be right. Let us focus on Jin Guangyao as the more urgent problem. That will also allow us to clear Wei Wuxian’s name, whereupon the other three clans to meet to discuss how we might handle Jin-zongzhu’s ambitions in the long-term.”

“Will you take the lead?” Lan Wangji asked. “I’m concerned about my brother’s reaction. He will listen to you in a way he does not listen to me.”

Nie Mingjue pinched the bridge of his nose, let out a heavy sigh, and said, “I’ll make sure he listens this time.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Jin Guangshan was waiting for them on the steps of Koi Tower. “This looks more like an invading force than visiting allies,” he said, folding his arms over his chest. “Jiang Yanli! Where is my grandson?”

“Somewhere safe,” Jiang Yanli said, and bowed before adding, “which by default means somewhere far away from you.”

Jin Guangshan scowled. “What is the meaning of all this, then? Not only is the Yiling Patriarch still alive, but you dare bring him to Koi Tower with you, and not in chains? I assume there’s a good explanation for this.”

Lan Wangji stepped forward. “Where is my brother?”

“I’m here, Wangji.” Lan Xichen came out of the pavilion, supporting Jin Guangyao, who was walking with a pronounced limp. With a sideways glance at Jin Guangshan, he added, “Somebody neglected to alert me that you were arriving. What happened at the Burial Mounds?”

Instead of explaining, Nie Mingjue said, “Xichen, step away from him.”

Jin Guangyao clung a little tighter to Lan Xichen. “Da-ge, what’s wrong? Why do you look so furious?”

“Whatever your concerns are, Chifeng-Zun, you will address them with me!” Jin Guangshan barked. “I am the Clan Leader. Do not disrespect me by ignoring my presence!”

Nie Mingjue’s jaw tightened. “Where is Xue Yang?”

“In the dungeons!” Jin Guangshan replied.

“Along with Wen Ning?” Wei Wuxian asked, spinning Chenqing in one hand.

Jin Guangshan glowered. “How dare you address me in such an insolent manner? Have you not caused enough trouble?”

“Nowhere near,” Wei Wuxian said. Lan Wangji gave a quiet snort, and Jiang Cheng gave Wei Wuxian a light slap upside the head.

“What happened at the Burial Mounds?” This time it was Jin Guangyao who asked. He was still leaning heavily, or at least pretending to lean heavily, on Lan Xichen, but his voice was clear. “I only just found out that Wei Wuxian was still alive. Now you bring him back here with you. Whatever it is that occurred, please, tell us.”

Wei Wuxian opened his mouth to say that he would, but then remembered that he was supposed to be letting Nie Mingjue run the show, for very good reasons. Nie Mingjue said, “We were attacked by fierce corpses, just as you predicted we would be. But these were not under Wei Wuxian’s control. They were controlled by Xue Yang, who Jin-zongzhu has allowed to run rampant, despite assuring me that he would be executed!” He swung Baxia around and pointed the saber at Jin Guangshan. “Explain yourself!”

“How do you know Xue Yang was even there?” Jin Guangyao asked. “Did you see him? Speak to him?”

“There is more than that. On the way up, Su She performed evil magic that stripped us all of our spiritual powers, leaving us helpless against the monsters! Something he only could have done at your instruction, and with your assistance!”

Jin Guangyao looked perplexed. “Da-ge, why would I help Minshan do such a thing? What possible reason could I have?”

“You found out Wei Wuxian was still alive, and you needed him dealt with before he could tell everyone the truth – that he was not responsible for Jin Zixuan’s death, but you are!”

“Da-ge!” Jin Guangyao sounded genuinely distressed. “How could you accuse me of such a thing? And even – even if it were true, it makes no sense! If I wanted Wei Wuxian dealt with, why would I hinder you in the mission to find and kill him? Why would I instruct Minshan to take away your spiritual power?”

“Enough!” Jiang Yanli pushed her way through the crowd. With a twist of her wrist, she flung Su She down onto the landing in front of them. “Su She could not have done it on his own. He must have gotten the music from somewhere, and it only could have come from the forbidden scrolls at Gusu. There are so very few people who could have given it to him. Are you going to suggest it was your sworn brother? Or Hanguang-Jun?”

“I don’t know what Minshan did or how he did it. I – ”

“Stop!” Jiang Yanli’s voice could have rivaled Yu Ziyuan’s on any day of her life. “I know you, Guangyao! I see you! I have watched for almost two years while you have burned with jealousy and resentment. I have watched as you use words to turn people against each other. I will not let you continue!”

“Ji – Jin-furen, you – ”

“Answer me one question!” she shouted. “One question, Guangyao! How did Jin Zixuan find out about the ambush at Qiongqi Way?”

Jin Guangyao blinked. “What? I – I have no idea, how could I possibly – ”

“I know that he wasn’t aware ahead of time. He assured me more than once that he had done everything he could to make sure A-Xian would be safe at Koi Tower! He knew how important it was to me that A-Xian got one chance, even just one, to meet A-Ling! My husband loved me! If he had found out about the ambush, he would have rushed right out to stop it – and that’s exactly what he did! But how did he know, Guangyao? Jin-zongzhu wouldn’t have told him. He wouldn’t have wanted him in danger. Jin Zixun left too far ahead of time for Zixuan to have found out from him. So who told him, Guangyao? Who sent him to his death? Could it possibly be the one person who stood to benefit more than anyone else in Lanling?”

Her words echoed all up and down the steps at Koi Tower, and left silence ringing in their wake.

“Please, you’re upset,” Jin Guangyao said. “We can discuss this more after you’ve rested. You – ”

“Answer her question,” Jin Guangshan said, turning slowly to face Jin Guangyao.

“F-Father, I – ”

“Don’t,” Jin Guangshan said. “No more prevarication. No more stammering and hiding. If the next words out of your mouth aren’t the answer to her question, Guangyao, your head will be bouncing down the steps of Koi Tower. Did you – ” His chest and shoulders heaved. “Did you send Zixuan to his death?”

“No!” Jin Guangyao shouted. “No, of course not! He was my brother!”

“Then who did?” Lan Xichen asked. He was looking at Jin Guangyao with a hopeful expression, as if begging him to have some explanation that would make all of this make sense. “A-Yao – if you didn’t, then who did?”

“How should I know?” Jin Guangyao pleaded. “I have no idea how many people Jin Zixun told. Any one of them could have told Zixuan about the ambush!”

“Liar!” Jin Guangshan roared, unsheathing his sword. “You think I can’t hear the lies in your words? You despicable piece of trash! I should have left you in the gutters of Nightless City!”

Jin Guangyao flinched and clung harder to Lan Xichen’s robes. “Er-ge – er-ge, please – please believe me, I never, I would never – ”

“Jin-zongzhu, please calm down,” Lan Xichen said, holding his arm out to stay Jin Guangshan’s approach. “There doesn’t need to be violence. We can talk things through and figure out what happened.”

“What happened is that this misbegotten bastard murdered my son!” Jin Guangshan raged. “Step aside, Zewu-Jun. Let him face his fate.”

“Jin-zongzhu – ”

“He’s right, Xichen.” Nie Mingjue climbed the last few stairs to stand behind Jin Guangyao, cutting off any escape he might try to make. “We can all see the guilt in him. I’ve known it was there all along. He deceived you along with many others. Jin-furen has spoken truly. There is no one else who stood to benefit from Jin Zixuan’s murder.”

“No one needed to benefit,” Lan Xichen said. He sounded a little bit lost. “It was an accident . . . a loss of control . . .”

“Xiongzhang,” Lan Wangji said quietly. “Can you really still believe that, even now?”

Lan Xichen turned to look at Jin Guangyao. For a long moment, they just stared at each other. “A-Yao . . .”

In that moment, Jin Guangyao saw that he had lost him. His mouth tightened and then his lip curled. He shoved Lan Xichen away from him, sending him stumbling down the steps. Lan Wangji caught him before he could hit the stone landing.

Jin Guangshan lunged forward, seizing Jin Guangyao by the throat and lifting him off the ground. “You filthy son of a whore – ”

Steel flashed.

Jiang Yanli screamed.

Blood spattered all over the steps of Koi Tower.

Jin Guangshan staggered backwards, releasing his son, and collapsed. The knife that Jin Guangyao had pulled out of his belt had cut his throat almost to the bone.

“Do not – ” Jin Guangyao choked out, “ – speak of my mother that way!”

He went to his knees, heaving for breath.

The flat side of Baxia landed on his shoulder.

“I’ll make it quick,” Nie Mingjue said. “It’s better than you deserve.”

Jin Guangyao said nothing, but bowed his head.

“Ah . . .” A timid voice came from the back of the crowd, and several people turned to look at where Wen Ning was anxiously standing. “That is . . . perhaps we could . . . not execute him right away . . . there is still a chance we can use his golden core.”

Nie Mingjue blinked. “Use his golden core? How?”

Lan Wangji stepped up. “There is a process for extraction. Although much would be lost in the transfer, it could allow . . . Jiang-zongzhu to regain his golden core. And then he could be safely imprisoned as an average human . . . which I believe my brother would probably prefer.”

At this, Jin Guangyao looked up. “You’re going to take my golden core? No, thank you. I’d rather be executed.”

“Nobody is asking you,” Nie Mingjue growled at him. “You will accept whatever sentence you are given.”

Lan Xichen knelt down in front of Jin Guangyao, ignoring the pool of blood that soaked into his pale blue robes. “A-Ya . . . no.” He shuddered slightly. “Jin Guangyao. Would imprisonment not be better? A chance that someday things might be different?”

“Different,” Jin Guangyao whispered. “I used to tell myself that someday things would be different. That someday my mother would be free. That someday my father would love me. That someday I would have enough power to make sure nobody ever hurt me again. But I’m tired of waiting for that, er-ge.” He gave Lan Xichen a weak, watery smile. “I’m tired of waiting for things to get better. I’ll take my chances on the next life, tha – ” The word broke off in the middle. He blinked, made a ‘mm’ noise, and then seemed to give a heavy sigh, letting his head fall forward again.

“Xiongzhang,” Lan Wangji said quietly. “Do not speak with him further. He will only attempt to manipulate you.” To Jin Guangyao, he said, “Your preferences are completely irrelevant. Your golden core will be extracted and you will be imprisoned in The Unclean Realm.” He glanced at Nie Mingjue, who nodded. “Let us bring him inside, as well as Su She, who can serve the same sentence. The extraction process is uncertain, but I have been instructed. Jiang-zongzhu, Wei Ying – will you accompany me?”

Both of them nodded, looking excited but also a little scared. Jiang Yanli walked forward with them as well.

“Wait!” Jin Guangyao managed to fight off the silencing spell, blood splashing from his mouth. “Jin-furen . . . please . . . may I see A-Ling one more time? I do truly love him . . . he is my dear little nephew . . .”

Jiang Yanli turned to look at him, tears running down her cheeks. “I believe that you think you mean that,” she said. “I believe your joy when I let you hold him was genuine. I believe that you think you love him. But you murdered his father. How can I allow you near him? A-Ling has two uncles, Guangyao . . . and neither of them are you.”

Jin Guangyao folded forward and said nothing further.

The sun was setting over Koi Tower.

~ ~ ~ ~

Chapter Text

Su She struggled intensely against the bonds of Zidian as they dragged him inside, and fought off the silencing spell twice. Jin Guangyao, on the other hand, walked on his own with his head down, with only Nie Mingjue’s hand on his elbow as restraint. He was no longer limping. Lan Xichen took a few steps as if he was going to follow, and Lan Wangji held out an arm to stop him. He looked away and instead said quietly that he was going to find Madam Jin so he could speak to her about what had occurred.

Once inside, Jiang Yanli used Zidian to bind them both to chairs, not wanting to take the risk that Jin Guangyao might change his mind about accepting his fate. Quietly, she said, “Will you please wait outside, Wen Ning, Chifeng-Zun? We do not know how painful or prolonged this procedure might be.”

Nie Mingjue nodded and headed out without another word. Wen Ning hesitated, but then followed. Once the door was closed behind them, Wei Wuxian said, “Which one of us gets which one? They’re both equally filthy in my opinion.”

“You should take Jin Guangyao’s,” Jiang Cheng said. “He’s the stronger of the two, and you . . . you were always the stronger of the two of us.”

“But you need the strength more; you’re the Clan Leader now - ”

Lan Wangji cut off the argument. “There will be no real difference in power once the transfers are complete. The amount that will dissipate is too extreme for that. Remember, at the end, each of you will only receive a tiny spark . . . if that. From there, you will need to cultivate them on your own.”

“Ugh, I guess I’ll take Jin Guangyao’s, then,” Wei Wuxian said. 

“And who goes first?” Jiang Cheng asked. “This is experimental . . . whoever goes second will have the benefit of Hanguang-Jun having done it once before and at least knowing what it feels like.”

“Let’s draw sticks,” Wei Wuxian said, and Jiang Cheng agreed. 

Wei Wuxian got the short stick. He took a deep breath and sat down in the chair that Jiang Yanli put next to Jin Guangyao. He reached out and quickly squeezed Lan Wangji’s hand. “Lan Zhan, even if this doesn’t work, I’ll be okay.”

Lan Wangji nodded. “I know you will.”

He took a brief minute just to review the scroll. Then, deliberately but not slowly, he began to draw the symbols in the air. It took only a few seconds.Then he pressed his hand against Jin Guangyao’s chest. He felt it gather in his hand, the power, the warmth, the strength. Jin Guangyao’s body went taut and he broke through the silencing spell involuntarily, letting out a cry of pain that seemed to fill the entire room as Lan Wangji pulled the core free.

Instantly, he felt the core began to dissipate. He could no more hold onto it than he could have held on to a handful of air. He pressed his hand into Wei Wuxian’s chest.

Wei Wuxian let out a gasp as well, but the noise he made didn’t sound like pain. His eyes went wide, the whites showing all the way around, and his body spasmed. Jiang Cheng hastily held him down before he could thrash his way out of the chair completely.

Lan Wangji felt the core leave his hand. The room seemed very quiet. Jin Guangyao was panting for breath and crying softly. For the barest of instants, Lan Wangji felt pity for him. But then he remembered the look on Lan Xichen’s face as Jin Guangyao had been led away. “Wei Ying,” he said. “How do you feel?”

“Not . . . not sure,” Wei Wuxian said. He pressed his hand over Lan Wangji’s, where it was still against his chest. “Let me catch my breath.”

Lan Wangji nodded, despite the fact that there was a part of him that wanted to shake Wei Wuxian until an answer fell out. Wei Wuxian’s hand grasped his, fingers tightening.

“I can feel it,” he whispered. “It’s so small, Lan Zhan. Like a match struck in a cavern. But it’s there. Lan Zhan, it’s there.” Tears started to trickle down his cheeks. “It worked.”

Completely forgetting any sense of propriety for the first time in his life, Lan Wangji kissed him, wildly, ecstatically. He lifted Wei Wuxian out of the chair and off his feet entirely. Wei Wuxian threw his arms around Lan Wangji’s shoulders and let Lan Wangji hold him, laughing almost hysterically.

“Hey, hey, don’t forget about me,” Jiang Cheng complained, although he didn’t sound unhappy in the slightest. In fact, tears of joy were sliding down his cheeks. “Come on, my turn.”

“Ah . . .” Wei Wuxian suddenly remembered something Wen Ning had said, as Lan Wangji put him back down. “Just remember that it might not work the same way for you. Wen Zhuliu’s method of crushing the core could have damaged the place where yours is supposed to go. We just . . .”

Jiang Cheng reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “Either it will work or it won’t. Let’s get the waiting over with.”

Su She was still struggling, and Jiang Yanli pulled Zidian a little tighter, making him wheeze for breath. He gave a long, protracted groan as Lan Wangji pulled the core out, and swore viciously and thoroughly as Lan Wangji pushed it into Jiang Cheng. Like Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng’s body jerked slightly. But he wasn’t as out of breath when Lan Wangji took his hand away.

“Did it work?” Wei Wuxian whispered.

“I don’t . . .” Jiang Cheng pressed a hand against his chest, grasping at the V of his robes. “I don’t feel . . .”

“It’s really small,” Wei Wuxian said, sounding more worried than he meant to. His throat was tight with fear that it would have worked for him and not for Jiang Cheng. He could not regret that the core they had now both lost had brought his sister back to life, but after everything they had both gone through - 

Jiang Cheng let out a sudden gasp. “I feel it! Wei Wuxian! I can feel it! It’s there!”

Wei Wuxian practically screamed from excitement, throwing his arms around Jiang Cheng with such force that he knocked the chair over backwards and they both tumbled to the floor. A second later they were back on their feet, hugging and jumping up and down like children. Jiang Yanli joined them, throwing her arms around both of them, all of them laughing and crying at the same time.

Lan Wangji quietly opened the door and said to Nie Mingjue, “It’s done. They’re all yours.”

Nie Mingjue nodded. “I’ll take care of them,” he said. “You take care of our brother.”

Lan Wangji said, “I will.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Jiang Yanli had balked at the idea of packing anything to bring with her from Koi Tower. The idea of it made her want to fold into a ball and cry. But there were things there she needed, particularly for Jin Ling. She had some of her own things at Lotus Pier, still, but there was nothing for a baby. With her brothers, one on each arm, she was able to find the strength to enter the chambers she had shared with her husband one last time.

They focused on her things, packing up her clothes, her toiletries, her books and calligraphy, while she focused on the baby’s things. They had been working in silence for several long minutes before the door opened and Madam Jin came in. “A-Li,” she said softly.

Jiang Yanli straightened up and bowed, as did both her brothers. “Madam Jin.”

“Will you not stay?” Madam Jin asked, and there was a note of desperation in her voice.

Jiang Yanli could not help but feel sorry for her. She had lost her son and now her husband, which had to be a blow even though she had despised him. Now her daughter-in-law and her grandson were walking away from her, and she was smart enough to know that Jiang Yanli did not plan to ever return.

But Jiang Yanli knew her pity changed nothing.

“No,” she said quietly. “I will not stay. You are welcome to come see me and A-Ling at Lotus Pier, whenever you want. But I will never set foot in Lanling again.”

Madam Jin took both of Jiang Yanli’s hands, clutched them tightly. “A-Li . . .”

“I am sorry for your many losses, Madam Jin,” Jiang Yanli said, pulling her hands away. “But I cannot forgive the role you played in my own. I saw the way all of you treated Jin Guangyao. I know it must have been difficult for you to see the results of Jin Guangshan’s adultery welcomed into your home. But that is no excuse for the way you treated him. I saw the way you abused and berated him, the way you constantly made him feel unwelcome and unworthy. Ultimately, he is the only one responsible for his actions. But he is the person that you, all of you, made him to be. I will never forgive any of you for that.”

Weeping, Madam Jin left the room.

“Damn, shijie,” Wei Wuxian said. “Yu-furen would be proud.”

Jiang Yanli managed a weak smile. “No, mother would be furious at me for talking to her sect sister like that.”

Wei Wuxian shrugged. “She deserved it. What are you going to do about the fact that A-Ling is head of the Lanling Jin, though?”

“A-Ling is an infant. Someone else would rule in his stead. By the time he was old enough to take control, whoever that was would have no intention of letting him do so.” Jiang Yanli shook her head. “Koi Tower is a political cesspool. I would like to keep my son as far away from it as possible. I know it would upset Zixuan, but from today on, he is Jiang Ling.”

“Well said,'' Jiang Cheng said, but then held Jin Zixuan’s sword out to her. “But this should still be his.”

Jiang Yanli felt tears prickle at her eyes, but she did not let them fall. “Yes,” she said, taking the sword and tucking it into her sash. “It will be.”

They packed in silence for several more minutes.

“Shijie,” Wei Wuxian finally said, fidgeting. “I know you wanted us all to return to Lotus Pier together. I want that, too. But . . .”

“I know.” Jiang Yanli reached out and smoothed down his hair. “Zewu-Jun needs his brother right now. He was dealt a terrible blow. And I would not dream of asking you to separate from Hanguang-Jun. You will return to Lotus Pier soon enough, when it is time.”

Wei Wuxian nodded and leaned into her touch. “Thank you, shijie.”

~ ~ ~ ~

The trip back to Cloud Recesses wasn’t exactly a joyful one. Although there certainly were things to celebrate, all of them were mindful of the things that had been lost. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng had regained their golden cores. The threat from the Jin clan had been dealt with. But at the end of the day, Jin Zixuan and Wen Qing were still dead, along with the Wen remnants. At the end of the day, Xue Yang was still out there with a piece of Yin iron and now with nobody holding his leash. At the end of the day, Lan Xichen still looked like a broken man.

So they walked quietly, the Yunmeng siblings in a tight little cluster, Lan Xichen sometimes drifting towards the edges of the retinue, although Lan Wangji always took him by the arm and pulled him back. After the first hour, Lan Xichen tried, haltingly, to apologize to Wei Wuxian for doubting him. Wei Wuxian told him not to worry about it, that he had doubted himself plenty, and that Lan Xichen had still protected him and helped Lan Wangji save his life. From the look on Lan Xichen’s face, he would have been happier if Wei Wuxian had shouted at him. His easy forgiveness seemed to be too much to bear.

Trying to change the subject, Lan Wangji said, “What do you think is going to happen to the Jin sect? Will Madam Jin take charge?”

“Probably,” Jiang Yanli said. “I don’t know if she’ll be able to hold onto it, though. I expect the power struggle to be very bloody, to be honest.”

“The disciples will leave in droves,” Jiang Cheng said. “Nobody is going to want to be associated with them after this. Honestly, there might not be much of a Jin Sect by this time next year.”

“And then there were three,” Wei Wuxian murmured. He saw Lan Wangji give him a concerned look, and shook off the melancholy. “Ah, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to imply bad things are going to continue to happen. The three sect leaders now are good friends. And it will be nice for the smaller sects to have some room to grow and cultivate their own techniques.” He shook his head and looped an arm around Wen Ning’s shoulders. “And what about you? You can’t follow me around forever.”

“Oh . . .?” Wen Ning looked a combination of startled and disappointed to hear this. “I don’t know. I’d like to build a cenotaph for jiejie . . . although I don’t know if I should do that at Nightless City or the Burial Mounds.”

“It’s probably best if you do stay with us for now,” Lan Wangji said. “Xue Yang is still out there, and he still has Yin iron. It might be possible for him to seize control of you, and obviously we don’t want that to happen.”

Wen Ning nodded. Wei Wuxian looked torn on the issue. “You’ve spent so long doing things for other people . . . you deserve to have some happiness of your own.”

“I will,” Wen Ning said. “Someday.”

“Speaking of Xue Yang, what are we doing about him?” Jiang Cheng asked. 

Lan Xichen stirred slightly. “Da-ge is going to send men to look for him,” he said, “but honestly, I doubt he’ll find much. Xue Yang doesn’t strike me as the sort who’s easily found.”

“A problem for tomorrow,” Lan Wangji said, his voice quiet but firm. Lan Xichen nodded and fell silent.

The next day, they were back at Cloud Recesses. Lan Qiren grumpily greeted them and grumpily listened to Lan Wangji’s explanation. He seemed to doubt sections of it, but Lan Xichen had a quiet word with him and he resigned himself to accepting his new son-in-law. It was hard to look as disgruntled as he obviously wanted to while A-Yuan was clinging to Wei Wuxian’s leg. 

“Did he behave himself?” Wei Wuxian asked.

“Better than you ever did here,” Lan Qiren retorted, and Wei Wuxian just laughed. Then A-Yuan spotted Wen Ning and latched onto his leg, squealing in delight to see his Uncle Ning again.

Lan Xichen told Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli that of course they were welcome to stay the night before they all set off for Lotus Pier the next day, and they accepted with gratitude. But it had been a long day on the road, so after a quiet dinner with the others, both of them departed to their guest rooms, Jiang Yanli cradling A-Ling against her chest.

Lan Wangji extended a hand to Wei Wuxian, who took it, and scooped A-Yuan up with his other arm. He took them to the hanshi, where his mother had lived. It was as immaculate as it had been when he had last seen it. He knew that the juniors were tasked with keeping it clean, so even though he had not been there in months, it looked exactly the same as he had left it.

“This is where we will stay from now on,” he said. “Now that we no longer need to be in seclusion.”

Wei Wuxian nodded and held up three fingers. “I promise I’ll adhere to the Lan disciplines as much as I’m possibly able . . . which probably won’t be much,” he added sheepishly.

“A-die’s bad,” A-Yuan said, giggling.

“Listen, you,” Wei Wuxian said, pinching his cheek. “You’re so good, you make me look good. Even Lan Qiren likes you. Keep it up.”

Lan Wangji was amused despite himself. “A-Yuan, you will sleep here,” he said, gesturing to a small alcove that a screen could be drawn across. A-Yuan immediately bounced over to throw himself onto the bed. “That will give us a little privacy at nights,” Lan Wangji murmured to Wei Wuxian, “though perhaps not as much as we would prefer.”

Wei Wuxian glanced over at where the main bedroom had another screen partially drawn across it. “I will take two screens over nothing,” he said. Seeming to sense that the small house was special to Lan Wangji, even though he didn’t know how, he said, “It’s really very lovely. Much nicer than that cabin.”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji said, with a nod. “Are you sure you do not wish to return to Lotus Pier?”

“Of course I wish to,” Wei Wuxian said. “But Jiang Cheng and shijie will be all right. They can take care of each other. I know you need to be here right now, and I don’t want to be anywhere that you’re not. Not for the rest of my life.”

Lan Wangji nodded again. “Mn,” he said, to indicate that he felt the same, and saw Wei Wuxian smile. “You know, you asked when I knew we were soulmates, and the answer I gave you was true. But I think I felt it at cold pond cave as well, even if I didn’t know what it meant.” He unfastened his forehead ribbon as he spoke, looping one end of it around Wei Wuxian’s wrist, the same way he had that long ago day. “When I bound us together that day, I was only thinking about protecting you from the cave’s magic. But perhaps my heart knew then what it knows now. That we are meant to be together.”

Wei Wuxian smiled, brilliant and carefree and beautiful. “I like the way it looks on us.”

“Me too.”

They slept that night with the ribbon still wrapped around both of their wrists.

~ ~ ~ ~

When Lan Wangji woke the next morning, all of Cloud Recesses held the deep quiet that he treasured so much. He took a moment just to breathe it in and enjoy it. Even the birds hadn’t awoken yet.

Wei Wuxian was still sleeping, sprawled out all over Lan Wangji as was his wont. Lan Wangji smoothed down his hair, stroked his back, smiled as Wei Wuxian murmured something and nestled closer in contentment. He indulged him for several long minutes before climbing out of bed, carefully drawing the blankets back up over him.

He bathed and dressed, did his morning meditations, and made tea before leaving the hanshi. There was no need to leave a note. Wei Wuxian would know where he had gone.

Unsurprisingly, there was no sign of Lan Xichen in his usual rooms. Lan Wangji checked a few unlikely but closer places before he began the walk to the cabin in the woods. The birds began to sing and the sun crept over the horizon. He knocked quietly on the cabin door, received no answer, and let himself in.

Lan Xichen was lying on the bed in quite an uncharacteristic manner, on his stomach with his head turned to the side, still fully clothed. There were dried tear tracks on his face, and jarringly, his forehead ribbon had been removed and cast aside. Lan Wangji saw it crumpled in a heap on the table, along with several empty jars. He sighed quietly. “Alcohol is forbidden in Cloud Recesses,” he murmured to his sleeping brother, but began to clean up. If one couldn’t get drunk after finding out their sworn brother had been lying to them for years, when could one get drunk?

The noise of him bringing in the water woke Lan Xichen. He frowned and mumbled, “Wangji?” before sitting up abruptly and leaning over with his head between his knees.

“Breathe slowly,” Lan Wangji instructed him. He set down a cup of strong, fragrant tea. “Take small sips.”

Lan Xichen nodded, but then groaned slightly, clearly wishing he hadn’t. He had to breathe for several minutes before he was able to pick up the cup of tea and starting to drink. Lan Wangji disposed of the empty jars and then handed his brother a warm, damp cloth. “Clean your face.” He set down the bundle he had brought with him. “Change your clothes.”

“Thank you, Wangji,” Lan Xichen said, still sounding quite ill. 

Lan Wangji busied himself in the kitchen, preparing a simple breakfast, while Lan Xichen cleaned his face, used the facilities, and changed into the fresh robe that his brother had brought him. By the time he was finished, Lan Wangji was putting food on the table.

“You must think I’m quite stupid,” Lan Xichen said, staring at the food and not eating.

Lan Wangji arched an eyebrow. “Why would I think you are stupid because Jin Guangyao was a liar?”

“Everyone else saw those lies for what they were,” Lan Xichen said. “But not me. Even when they were staring me in the face, I still couldn’t - wouldn’t - see them.”

“Eat,” Lan Wangji said. “It will help.”

Lan Xichen sighed but began to eat.

After a long moment of silence, Lan Wangji said, “Would you have called Wen Ruohan stupid? For allowing Jin Guangyao into his confidence?”

Lan Xichen looked up, surprised. “No.”

“No. Of course not. Because Jin Guangyao was, for all his faults, brilliant at what he did. He was a skilled, accomplished liar. He had masks he could put on and remove at will, each one tailored to a specific person. And,” Lan Wangji continued, “it is worth pointing out that he spent far more time on you than he did on most people. It was clear that he decided quite early on, probably even before the Sunshot Campaign, that you would be his most passionate defender. He might have even rescued you from Cloud Recesses with that in mind. He knew he could rely on you to protect him from Chifeng-Zun, and even from his father.”

“Because I believed his lies.”

“Yes,” Lan Wangji said. “But you were not wrong to do so. You were not wrong to trust him. He saved your life. He is the one who lied. He is the one who betrayed. I understand that that’s painful. But it is not your responsibility. You cannot take it on your shoulders.”

Lan Xichen closed his eyes for several long moments, as the tears spilled down his cheeks. 

“He took advantage of your kindness, of your optimism, of your boundless capacity to love others, even those who are struggling. Why would you look at such a terrible thing he did and say that it is your fault?”

“Maybe,” Lan Xichen whispered, “because it’s so painful to blame him.”

Quietly, Lan Wangji said, “And blaming yourself is not painful?”

“I don’t know.” Lan Xichen wiped his tears away with the cloth Lan Wangji had given him to clean his face. “Of course it is. Which would hurt worse? I cannot say.”

Lan Wangji was silent for a minute. “If living here with Wei Ying taught me anything, it was that people can recover from even the most grievous of wounds. It does not happen quickly, but it does happen. You should allow yourself to hurt, xiongzhang. But don’t endure the pain under false pretenses. Mourn the man you thought you knew. Grieve the loss of what he brought to your life. But don’t blame yourself for his betrayal.”

Lan Xichen nodded and tried to mop up a fresh wave of tears. Lan Wangji moved over so he was sitting next to him instead of across from him, putting his hand on the back of his brother’s neck and guiding him into an embrace. Lan Xichen leaned against him and wept into his shoulder until the worst of it had passed.

Finally, he pulled away. Lan Wangji poured him a fresh mug of tea and he took a sip. Then he picked up his forehead ribbon. “I let him touch this . . . I didn’t tell him what it meant, but it was coming undone and I asked him to help me refasten it. It seems stained, now.”

“It is not,” Lan Wangji said. “It was touched by a man you loved. Even if that love was misplaced.”

Lan Xichen took a deep breath and then nodded. “Thank you, Wangji.”

“There is no need to thank me, xiongzhang. You stood by my side when nobody else did. You helped me protect Wei Ying.”

“You were right,” Lan Xichen said, then added quietly, “I’m sorry that nobody else could see that.”

Lan Wangji nodded. “It is over now.” He stood. “You should come back to the pavilion with me. Do not lock yourself away in here. I understand the temptation, I truly do. But it will not help. You need to be among those who love you right now.” When it looked like Lan Xichen was going to argue, he said, “Think of the example you are setting for your nephew.”

“My nephew.” Lan Xichen smiled softly. “He is precious, is he not? I am so happy for you, Wangji. But are you and Wei-gongzi not going back to Lotus Pier with A-Yuan?”

“Of course not. We are needed here. I would not leave you alone right now. Wei Ying understands that, as do his brother and sister.”

Lan Xichen let out a deep breath that he didn’t seem to realize he had been holding. “Thank you.”

“On your feet, xiongzhang. Every day will be a little better. Believe me.”

Lan Xichen nodded. “I believe you.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Wei Wuxian had to admit he was a little surprised to see Lan Xichen there to bid farewell to Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli. He had half-expected that he was going to insist on going into seclusion, and was glad to see that Lan Wangji had talked him out of it. He looked tired, but not the same shell of a man that he had looked on the journey back to Cloud Recesses. 

Jiang Yanli hugged Wei Wuxian for a long minute, and he kissed A-Ling on the forehead many times. Finally, he turned to face Jiang Cheng. They regarded each other for a moment before Jiang Cheng punched his shoulder and said, “You better not slack off. When you get back to Lotus Pier, my golden core is going to be twice as big.”

“Yeah?” Wei Wuxian responded automatically. “Well, mine is gonna be three times as big.”

“In that case mine’s going to be four times as big - ”

“And mine’s gonna be ten times as big!” A-Yuan cheered, clearly with no idea what they were talking about but certain he wanted to contribute.

All the adults laughed. Lan Wangji scooped him up and set him on Wei Wuxian’s shoulders so he could wave as his aunt, uncle, and cousin started on the path out of Cloud Recesses.

Once they were out of sight, Lan Xichen turned and smiled at his brother. “Well. Shall we? I believe there are chores to attend to.”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji said.

“Are you going to make me do chores now?” Wei Wuxian asked suspiciously. “Is that why you wanted us to come out of seclusion, so you could put me to work?”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji said, and Wei Wuxian laughed.

His mood sobered slightly as they entered the pavilion and he saw Wen Ning there, waiting for them to return. He was still worried about Wen Ning, and the worst part was that there wasn’t really anything he could do about it. Wen Ning had never been without his sister in his entire life. He had endured so much over the last few years, and much of that had happened because he had helped Wei Wuxian. 

Wei Wuxian desperately wanted him to be happy, but he didn’t know what he could do, how he could help.

Thinking of that just made him worry about the fact that Xue Yang was still out there, which made him worry about what else might happen. Lan Wangji seemed to sense the tension in him, because instead of immediately handing him a broom and making him get to work, he drew him to the side. “Wei Ying. What is it?”

“I’m just . . . I know you said the stuff we talked about were tomorrow problems, and it’s tomorrow now, so I started worrying about them,” Wei Wuxian said. “Like where Wen Ning is going to go, and what’s going to happen with the Jin sect, and how we’re going to find Xue Yang, and is your brother going to be okay? He’s done so much for us and I - ”

Lan Wangji reached out and gently laid his fingers over Wei Wuxian’s mouth. “Wait,” he said, and tilted Wei Wuxian’s chin back towards the pavilion. “Watch.”

Wei Wuxian turned and looked over at where Lan Xichen had started sweeping the paths. He had given Wen Ning a cloth to polish the railings with, and he had set to it industriously. A-Yuan was running between them with a paper butterfly, chattering happily at both of them. Wei Wuxian felt a suspicious lump in his throat as Wen Ning smiled at the little boy, leaning over to tousle his hair before he ran to Lan Xichen and fastened himself to Lan Xichen’s leg. “Ah, how can I sweep now?” Lan Xichen teased, making as if he couldn’t move at all even though he could have easily moved A-Yuan with him.

Lan Wangji wiped Wei Wuxian’s tears away with his thumb. “They are all right, Wei Ying. And we are all right. Yes, there will be challenges to face and problems to solve. But there are far fewer problems in our tomorrows than there were in our yesterdays. Should we not be content with that?”

“Of course.” Wei Wuxian leaned against him, tucking his head into the crook of Lan Wangji’s neck. “You’re right, Lan Zhan. I couldn’t ask for more than this.”

~fin~