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Chapter Text

The first time the strings of Lan Sizhui’s ribbon touch Jin Ling's face is by accident. They are on a night-hunt and the wind blows too hard.

The touch is gentle and almost weightless, but Jin Ling freezes on his spot. The wind stays strong and the ribbon brushes his cheek for a few endless moments.

The sensation strikes him right through his core. Jin Ling doesn’t know what it is. It’s like a blister. Like a blessing. For a moment he feels as if his universe turned upside down.

He glares quickly at Lan Sizhui. Today's night hunt is uneventful and they practice by shooting the tree from a distance.

Under the moonlight Lan Sizhui's face stays calm and focused. Of course, he didn’t feel anything. After all, it was only his ribbon touching Jin Ling's face and not his slender fingers.

Jin Ling takes a step back urgently. Because what are those thoughts, really.

He isn’t even supposed to be here. He knows Lan Sizhui invited him out of pity. Or even worse, because his fathers told him to.

“Shoot it already,” he snaps at Lan Sizhui. He could have been in Carp Tower now, in his golden palace, surrounded by his servants, having exquisite food and drinks. Instead, he sleeps on the cold ground, drinks water and is forced to spend time with Lan disciples, who are all annoying and stiff and don’t know how to treat him — Jing Ling — with proper respect.

But then there is Lan Sizhui. If Jing Ling stayed in Carp Tower he wouldn’t be able to enjoy watching his graceful posture and listen to his clear, melodic voice. They wouldn’t have these rare conversations when he felt lucky just to be on the receiving end of Lan Sizhui’s attention. 

He sighs. How ironic, after all. Looks like he should be thankful to Wei Wuxian to force Lan Sizhui to invite him here.

“Is Jin Ling staring at me like that because he wants me to miss?” Lan Sizhui says, looking aside to where Jin Ling stands.

“Who is staring!” Jin Ling roars, alarmed, but Lan Sizhui just laughs. This is the first time Jing Ling notices how beautiful his laughter is, it’s full of light and sunshine and it sounds almost like music.

“Your posture is wrong,” Jin Ling says trying to hide his confusion. “Take it more to the left.”

“Jin Ling thinks I am aiming at the oak tree, but I am aiming at the apple tree behind it.”

Jin Ling stares at Lan Sizhui in disbelief. The apple tree is too far away. He can barely see. “It’s impossible!” he exclaims with alarm. 

“If I will hit it with my arrow can Jin Ling promise me something?” Lan Sizhui’s hand tightens on the string, stretching the bow further.

“You will never hit it,” Jin Ling says confidently. “So I might as well promise you anything.”

Once those words leave his mouth he shudders slightly. There is some odd kind of excitement to say them to Lan Sizhui out loud. But also it’s safe. Lan Sizhui will miss, not even he is that good.

Lan Sizhui's face stays focused, and when he lets go of the string, his arrow flies into the darkness. It’s impossible to say if he missed or not. Jin Ling runs to the apple tree impatiently to check. When he returns there is an arrow in his hand.

“You didn't miss,” he says, his voice gloomy.

“I was trying my best since I wanted Jin Ling to keep his promise,” Lan Sizhui says with a calm smile. “Both my fathers want Jin Ling to visit Cloud Recesses. Especially one of them.” He bows slightly. “I hope Jin Ling will oblige.”

“This apple tree is not really as far as I thought.” Jin Ling sneers. “Let’s say… If I’ll hit it too I would be able to take my promise back.”

Lan Sizhui opens his eyes wide. “But that means I should wish for Jin Ling to fail. How could I possibly do that?”

Jin Ling scolds Lan Sizhui: “You’re only inviting me because Wei Wuxian told you to,” he says, aiming his arrow into the darkness. He lied before. The apple tree is far away. It’s so impossibly far away.

“There is a waterfall in Gusu I often meditate near,” Lan Sizhui says, his eyes shining in the moonlight. “I wanted to show it to Jin Ling.”

The meaning of Lan Sizhui’s words strikes Jin Ling the same moment as he lets the arrow go.

Lan Sizhui wants to show him the waterfall. Does it mean that he wants Jin Ling to visit too?

In the end, the result is pitiful. He hits the oak instead of the apple tree. Somebody laughs behind his back and he feels his cheeks flush with anger.

“Whatever!” He exclaims. Who needs a waterfall when he has his golden palace? He pushes through laughing disciplines and heads back under the shadows of pine trees. The ground is soft there and he sits down leaning against the tree.

“You forgot your arrow,” the clean melodic voice says over him.

“Throw it away. I have thousands of arrows like that in Langling.”

“Wasting resources is forbidden,” Lan Sizhui says calmly. He pauses. “Will Jin Ling let me keep his arrow?”

Jin Ling narrows his eyes. He hates how white and beautiful Lan Sizhui’s face looks under the moonlight. “Why?” he asks, quickly looking away.

“There are a lot of apple trees in Gusu, when Jin Ling will come he will be able to show his archery skills again. And if he won’t miss the promise would be on me.”

Something inside Jin Ling goes warm. “I don’t think I will have time till winter,” he says stubbornly. It’s only mid-spring, so he is determined to postpone it as much as he can.

“Gusu is beautiful in the summer.” Lan Sizhui says quietly, his voice unsure. But he doesn’t dare to press further and takes a step back. Somehow Jin Ling feels disappointed. As if he was promised something, but then it was taken away.

***

Before dawn comes, all the disciples sleep together under the pines. By some unbelievable luck, Jin Ling lays next to Lan Sizhui. He can see Lan Sizhui’s slim back next to him. The outline of his shoulder blades is visible under his robe. He is breathing deep and calm and this sound is enough to make Jin Ling forget about the comfort of his own bed in Carp Tower.

The strings of Lan Sizhui’s ribbon are right in front of him. But it takes him around half an hour to gather his courage to reach out and finally touch them.

He carefully slides the ribbon between his fingers, enjoying the feeling of cold silk next to his skin. It’s different from the first time, now he can play with Lan Sizhui’s ribbon as much as he wants, even though he suspects that maybe it’s wrong. Lan Sizhui might get angry if he finds out. 

It’s just a ribbon after all, but every time Lan Sizhui’s breath changes Jin Ling freezes in sweet horror, afraid that he will be discovered. Still, he can’t let it go.

He should control himself better. But he can’t. The sensation is extraordinary, it’s better than anything he ever felt before. It makes his core expand and his heart beat faster and faster. He is as far from sleep as he can possibly be.

The wind blows and the sweet scent of oranges and cedar strikes his nose. Now he knows, this is what Lan Sizhui smells like.

***

When Jin Ling returns to Carp Tower he calls for the best merchants. He buys all the silk he can find. His bed, his sofas, his cushions, anything that his hand might touch in his palace is now covered in the best snow-white silk that poor merchants can find.

Unfortunately, Jin Ling is never satisfied. The sensation he is looking for never returns and he wanders through Carp Tower gloomy and concerned. Every day his mood gets worse and worse. Sometimes when he dreams he is haunted by the smell of oranges and cedar.

He visits Lotus Pier, but his uncle only scolds him. “If you want to go to Cloud Recesses, just go,” Jiang Cheng makes a dismissive gesture with his hand. “But don’t bother me, I am a newlywed after all.”

After that something unspeakable happens, he turns back to his husband and smiles. Jing Ling rolls his eyes, but his uncle scolds him again, “Just don’t let Wei Wuxian manipulate you into thinking that this is a good idea.”

“Nobody is manipulating me!” Jin Ling jumps up.

Jiang Cheng frowns, but his husband’s hand lands on his shoulder and his face relaxes. 

“I don’t know what you all see in the Lan members when the Nie sect is so much better.”

Jing Ling grits his teeth. Before, when his uncle was angry it was pretty annoying, but this new state of almost total happiness and calm that he achieved after marrying Nie Huaisang is so much worse. Jin Ling respects Nie Huaisang of course, and finds him very impressive and smart (even to the point where he is scared of him sometimes), but his patience runs out too quickly whenever he is facing two of them together.

“Uncle! What are you saying! I don’t see anything in Lan members! I told you already I am going only because I lost a bet!”

“Shoot better next time! Who told you to shoot an arrow like that?”

“A-Cheng,” Nie Huaisang says patiently and his hand stays on Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, squeezing it tighter. “Your nephew is right. GusuLan is a powerful sect, it might be very beneficial to marry Lan Sizhui. He is the first child of Hanguang-Jun after all.”

“Marrying?” Jin Ling spatters. “Who said anything about marrying?”

“And they are very rich too…”

“It’s not about that! I don’t care if Lan Sizhui is rich at all!” Jin Ling loses his patience completely.

His uncle suddenly laughs and Nie Huaisang nods along with a foxy smile. As if they know something Jin Ling is still unaware of. He glares at them with anger. “That’s not what I meant!”

“A-Cheng,” Nie Huaisang says dreamily. “Remember how we met one another in Gusu? The  Orchid Room after darkness.”

His uncle's cheeks go slightly pink. He looks at Nie Huaisang as if he wants to eat him. But before, he turns to Jin Ling, “Nephew,” he says “you can leave the room now.”

“Gladly,” Lin Jing mutters, running outside of his uncle's quarters, but still he is not quick enough. From the corner of his eyes he spots his uncle pulling Nie Huaisang closer and kissing him in such a way that even innocent Jin Ling has no doubts as to what will follow next.

Chapter Text

Jin Ling arrives in Gusu two weeks later. Of course, he has to meet this awful person first, and after some official greetings, Wei Wuxian drags him to the small house on the edge of Cloud Recesses.

They have breakfast and tea, and Wei Wuxian looks happy and relaxed and so very opposite to how Jin Ling feels. He glares at Wei Wuxian and drinks his tea gloomily. Finally, Wei Wuxian spares him some mercy. 

“Don’t you want to know where A-Yuan is?” He asks Jin Ling, and it’s too sudden, too early, and...

“I do not!” Jin Ling panics, even though he is dying to know.

“Too bad,” Wei Wuxian rubs his chin. “I believe if this is the case, A-Yuan might get very disappointed.”

“Why?” Jin Ling hates that he really wants to know. He hates that he hopes.

“Because since we received your letter, he’s been asking about you daily,” Wei Wuxian chirps and looks up at the ceiling. As if this is nothing, as if Jin Ling’s heart didn’t just stop for a moment and then started to beat somewhere in his ears.

His throat goes dry and he has to take a few sips of tea before rasping, “Did he?” 

Wei Wuxian nods and adds casually, “If you want to see A-Yuan, he’s studying new guqin techniques with Lan Zhan now.”

Jin Ling prefers not to think about the first part, focusing on the last one instead. “But Lan Sizhui plays guqin well enough as it is!” he protests. He remembers how beautiful Lan Sizhui looks when he plays the instrument and he feels warm, almost hot inside. 

Wei Wuxian coughs and looks away. “Well, for some unknown reason, for the last few days he’s been asking Lan Zhan to help him improve.”

That leaves Jin Ling puzzled. Recently, he’s felt like people around him are hinting at something, but then it just slips out of his touch.

Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian yawns and stretches, then smiles innocently. “There’s no harm if we go visit our men, don’t you think?”

Jin Ling wants to protest, but at the same time, he wants to see Lan Sizhui badly, so eventually, he just squeezes out, “But won’t… won’t Hanguang-Jun get angry?”

“Leave Lan Zhan to me.” Wei Wuxian taps his finger on his nose, “Besides, he was in a pretty good mood this morning. After—” he pauses “—after some morning exercises.”

“Morning exercises?” Jin Ling repeats, his face pale.

“He woke me up at five in the morning,” Wei Wuxian nods. “That’s what you get for having Lan as a husband.” He gives Jin Ling a meaningful stare, which the latter does his best to ignore. He can feel his face turning red, but Wei Wuxian, mercifully, pretends not to notice.

As they proceed to the Orchid Room, he asks how Jin Ling’s uncle has been doing. “Did Jiang Chang build the Dressing Pavilion that he promised Nie Huaisang on his wedding day?”

“How would I know?” Jin Ling roars. “Go ask him yourself!”

Wei Wuxian rubs his chin. “It’s weird but none of them answers my letters... I assume they are still stuck in the honeymoon phase.”

Jing Ling almost covers his ears. “I don’t care! They are annoying! How am I supposed to go to the Orchid Room, knowing what they have been doing in there?”

“Oh, did they do it in the Orchid Room too?” Wei Wuxian’s face brightens. “You shouldn’t judge them, A-Ling! That spot is very good, you and A-Yuan should try it out.”

“Wei Wuxian!” Jin Ling almost shouts, but luckily the distant sound of guqin cuts him off, and he freezes. Lan Sizhui is just a few moments away.

“Why did you stop all of a sudden?” Wei Wuxian looks over his shoulder. “Don’t worry, we don’t have to interrupt them. We can just stay outside and enjoy the view.”

“Who enjoys the view!” Jin Ling sputters, but when they reach the Orchid Room, he obediently stands near the entrance, carefully peeking in on Lan Sizhui.

Lan Sizhui sits straight-backed opposite Lan Wangji as he plays guqin. His posture is even more graceful than usual, and his skin almost shines under the light of the morning sun. As Jin Ling listens to the beautiful sound of Lan Sizhui’s guqin, he finally realizes how painful it was to not see Lan Sizhui in such a long time.

Finally, the melody finishes. Lan Sizhui turns their way, and his face lights up.

“Jin Ling!” He jumps up and gives Jin Ling a deep bow. “You came!”

Jin Ling bows too, then he clears his throat and says stubbornly, “I lost our bet.”

Lan Sizhui takes a step closer. “I know, but I thought- I thought you said you wouldn’t have time until winter.”

Jin Ling feels blood rushing back to his face. “Sudden change of plans!” he sputters, ignoring the low laugh behind his back.

Wei Wuxian claps him on him back. “Why don’t you and A-Yuan go catch up and leave Lan Zhan and me here. All these stories about the Orchid Room brought up some memories.” He winks at Lan Wangji, who raises his eyebrow in question.

“Go, go, go.” Wei Wuxian waves them out, and a moment later Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui end up on the stairs outside the closed doors.

Lan Sizhui bows. “I am sorry, my dads are like that sometimes.” He pauses and shakes his head. “Often. Too often.”

Jin Ling moves his sword from one hand to another. “How are your guqin lessons going?” he asks. He hopes he sounds reasonable and not just like it was the first sane question he was able to form in his head. 

Lan Sizhui’s cheeks turn slightly pink. “I was learning a melody to play for Jin Ling,” he admits.  After a pause, he adds, “As a welcome.”

Jin Ling clenches his fist around his sword. He doesn’t know what it means. Maybe it’s just one of Lan sect’s endless weird traditions.

“You said… last time, there’s a waterfall you wanted to show me?” Jin Ling blurts out and then bites his tongue. How stupid! Lan Sizhui probably doesn’t even remember!

But Lan Sizhui just smiles and nods. “If Jin Ling has time, I would love to take him there.”

 His smile leaves Jin Ling breathless. After all, he hasn’t seen Lan Sizhui in two months! Why on earth has he put himself through that torture? But now Lan Sizhui is by his side and it feels right. As if he is finally where he is supposed to be.

As if it’s home.

They walk to the waterfall side by side as Lan Sizhui tells Jin Ling about his favourite places in Gusu, about the things that Hanguang-Jun taught him, how their last night-hunt went. Jin Ling nods along, but he doesn’t have much to say himself. He can’t talk with Lan Sizhui about his recent silk obsession, not really. So he stays silent instead, enjoying the sound of Lan Sizhui’s voice.

They sit near the waterfall, far enough not to be disturbed by the sound of water. Lan Sizhui takes his guqin out and starts to play. Jin Ling has never heard anything so beautiful before, the melody low and intense, filling Jin Ling’s soul with longing and happiness. He can’t stop himself from staring at Lan Sizhui and wondering what a fool he’s been for not coming to Gusu earlier.

The wind blows, and the strings of Lan Sizhui’s forehead ribbon float in the air, too close to Jin Ling’s face again. Yes, Jin Ling is the leader of the most powerful cultivation sect, and he hopes he is brave and righteous enough for his uncle to be proud of him.

But- But then, he is only a human. 

He lifts his arm and catches the end of Lan Sizhui’s ribbon in his hand and almost gasps. It feels even better than he remembers it to be. He slides the ribbon between his fingers while the melody of guqin fills his heart with tender feelings. He absolutely doesn’t notice when Lan Sizhui turns his way and stares at Jin Ling’s hand holding his ribbon.

The melody of guqin stops as Lan Sizhui twitches away, jumping up and stepping back. His face is pale, his ribbon now twisted on his forehead. His eyes are huge and he looks straight at Jin Ling with horror.

Lan Sizhui’s heart pounds in his chest. He doesn’t know why, but he has this crazy out of nowhere thought that Jin Ling will propose to him here and now. Maybe because it’s his sacred ribbon, or because he is still under the influence of a song he was playing, but for a moment there he hopes…

But of course, nothing happens. Jin Ling sits on the grass aloof and distant, his face an impossible mask. Of all his expressions, this is the one that Lan Sizhui likes the least. Jin Ling looks superior and arrogant. He looks like the leader of Lanling Jin Sect. He looks exactly like he’s supposed to.

“Why- why did you do that?” Lan Sizhui asks, his voice trembling. He still hopes that it’s something else rather than just a cruel joke.

“No reason.” Jin Ling stands up and wipes his right hand on his robe. As if he wants to take a feeling of a touch away. Of course, Lan Sizhui notices it, too.

Lan Sizhui has a pained expression on his face when he takes another step back. He looks at his guqin laying on the ground and he thinks what a fool he has been for inviting Jin Ling to Cloud Recesses. What a fool he was for begging Hanguang-Jun to teach him to play the Confession song.

It all was useless. 

“I... need to go. I hope Jin-gongzi will excuse me.” Lan Sizhui bows in a hurry. He doesn’t care anymore if he looks graceful. There is no need to try and put himself on the same level as Jin Ling, and he blames himself for even trying.

He disappears and Jin Ling stands near the waterfall alone. He breathes hard, trying to keep the mask of privilege and indifference on, but the more time passes the more useless he feels.

He knows he did something wrong. He almost slaps himself on his face. He can’t forget the hurt in Lan Sizhui’s eyes, and he called him Jin-gongzi, and it’s almost like they aren’t friends anymore.

The worst part is that he has absolutely no idea how to fix it. Because it’s Lan Sizhui, and when it’s about him Jin Ling is helpless. He looks around, lost and clueless, till it finally hits him.

There is at least one person in Gusu who might know how to help him.

Jin Ling runs to Wei Wuxian’s house. He has to wait and wait, and he can’t help but recall everything that happened near the waterfall, every small detail of how Lan Sizhui’s face broke.

When Wei Wuxian finally comes back (looking happy and satisfied), Jin Ling is pale and sweaty on his stairs.

Wei Wuxian doesn’t comment, he just invites him inside and pours him some tea. 

“A-Ling,” he says at last, putting a hand on his shoulder. “What happened? Where is A-Yuan?”

The question hits right into the core of Jin Ling’s struggles. He pushes a cup of tea away, his chin trembling. Finally, he can’t hold it in anymore. “Uncle! I need your help!” he blurts out. He expects Wei Wuxian to laugh or to smirk, but nothing of the sort happens, his face only concerned, and Jin Ling finds himself talking.

He tells Wei Wuxian everything. About the wind, about the ribbon, about Lan Sizhui running away.

“The ribbon in GusuLan sect is sacred. It can be touched only by the one they love and cherish,” Wei Wuxian says, his voice serious.

“Love and cherish?” Jin Ling exclaims almost in a panic.

“Don’t they teach you anything in Lanling?” Wei Wuxian sighs. 

“Love and cherish...” Jin Ling makes a pause, his eyes going wide. “Does it mean I need to propose ?”

Wei Wuxian makes a dismissive gesture with his hand, “No need, no need. You don’t have to. This is just what is expected. But you know how over the top GusuLan’s rules are.”

Jin Ling looks at him from under his forehead. “Does it mean that Lan Sizhui is expecting me to propose?”

“No! No one expects anything from you. Even Lan Zhan—”

“Hanguang-Jun?” Jin Ling panics even more and starts to pace in front of Wei Wuxian. “Now I definitely have to propose.”

“Of course you don’t have to! Look at me and Lan Zhan. I touched his ribbon by accident and nothing happened.”

“You got married!” Jin Ling almost screams.

Wei Wuxian taps the side of his nose with his finger. “A-Ling, if you are going to propose to A-Yuan just because of the ribbon, he would never accept. You need to look deeper inside of yourself and see if there are any other reasons. Let’s say…” He pauses. “Do you love him?”

Jin Ling's face becomes bright red in one moment. “What kind of nonsense is that!” he roars.

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes. “Do you like him?”

“Of course I like him! He is smart and graceful and good in archery. His sword technique is very advanced too.” Jin Ling brightens, but then he has a gloomy realization. “But how does it even matter? Didn’t you hear what I told you before? He doesn’t like me .” Jin Ling digs deeper inside himself and finally blurts out the thing that hurts him the most. “Lan Sizhui only invited me to Cloud Recesses because you asked him to!”

Wei Wuxian chuckles. “You think A-Yuan is so righteous and that he never lies, but the fact is that I never asked him to invite you to Cloud Recesses.”

“You didn’t?” Jin Ling asks his eyes wide. “What about the night-hunt?”

“I never asked him to invite you anywhere. This stubborn child, he just really wanted to see you.”

Did he? Jin Ling swallows. How can it be? He is still at a loss, but maybe deep inside he starts to understand something.

“I need to go find Lan Sizhui.” He jumps up in a hurry.

“No need,” Wei Wuxian says and nods at the window. “He’s already waiting for you outside.”

Jin Ling stops halfway to the door, his shoulders sagging. 

“Everything will be fine,” Wei Wuxian says. “He is a Lan. They only seem scary.” 

That doesn’t encourage Jin Ling much. He knows for sure that they are scary. Still, he steps outside and nearly bumps into Lan Sizhui.

“Jin Ling!” Lan Sizhui exclaims. His ribbon and his clothes are all neatly arranged again, but his face still looks anxious. Jin Ling is ready to do anything to take that anxiety away.

He gestures at Lan Sizhui to follow him and steps further away from the house. He needs time to prepare himself to finally say that one important thing, but when they stop near the edge of the garden Lan Sizhui is faster.

“Back at the waterfall, I—” Lan Sizhui says hurriedly, then he stumbles, “You should know, I don’t expect anything from you! All I want is for us to be friends again!”

“You don’t expect anything from me?” Jin Ling’s heart aches. Of course, Lan Sizhui would say that. He is humble and selfless. And this is exactly why Jin Ling likes him so much. “I touched your ribbon,” he says quietly.

“It doesn’t matter!” Lan Sizhui protests. His voice sounds so anxious, so pained, it’s almost unbearable to hear. “I swear, it doesn’t.”

Jin Ling gives him a careful stare. He is not used to seeing Lan Sizhui like that. Usually, Lan Sizhui is composed and calm, but now it feels like all his walls are crumbling. 

“Do you still have that arrow of mine?” Jin Ling asks. “You said before, if I came to Gusu, I could win a promise back.”

Lan Sizhui blinks at him, then nods. “Of course I still have the arrow,” he says. The tips of his ears turn slightly pink. “It’s in my room.”

Jin Ling nods, trying to keep the sudden joy inside of his heart in control. Lan Sizhui kept his arrow. Maybe Jin Ling still has a chance after all.

They go to pick up their bows and arrows, then Lan Sizhui brings him to the edge of the forest in Cloud Recesses where an apple tree grows. One of them stands apart and Lan Sizhui nods at it silently. It is not the same as at the night hunt, but it is similar enough. They just step further and further away to keep the distance the same as it was back then.

When Jin Ling takes a bow, his hand trembles slightly. This is bad, really bad, because he knows he can’t miss this time, not when he has to ask Lan Sizhui something very, very important.

At least through the madness of these two months apart, he didn’t forget to practise his archery. Back then he wanted to win out of spite, but now he wants to win for a completely different reason.

He takes his stance, feeling Lan Sizhui’s eyes on him. He puts all his effort into shooting true this time.

His arrow flies and strikes the mark, and Jin Ling breathes out a sigh of relief.

He did it. Now he just has to ask.

He lowers his bow and turns to Lan Sizhui. He can ask for so many things. But Lan Sizhui’s eyes are bright and clear and Jin Ling realises that it’s not about a ribbon, and it’s not about responsibility or a proposal. It’s about something else entirely. Something precious, something he can only dream of.

Through all his life his uncle was teaching him to be brave, and perhaps now is when he really should be.

“Lan Yuan,” he asks, “Can I kiss you?”

Lan Sizhui looks at him, astonished. There is still a wariness in his eyes that Jin Ling’s words can’t break.

“Please give me the bow back,” he says. “It’s my turn to shoot.”

Jin Ling’s insides go numb. Does it mean- does it mean that Lan Sizhui wants to take his promise back? 

Jin Ling almost screams at himself, because he knows he messed it up. He is the reason it went in a completely wrong way. He shouldn’t have listened to Wei Wuxian, he should have proposed.

When Lan Sizhui aims, he looks very focused. As if he, too, puts his best into not missing the mark. And his arrows fly true.

Of course they do.

“You did really well,” Jin Ling says, looking down. “And I’m sorry- I’m sorry I bothered you.”

He turns around, ready to flee, but Lan Sizhui catches his hand.

“Jin Ling,” he says. “Can I kiss you instead?” 

Jin Ling looks back at him. Their eyes meet,  Lan Sizhui’s hand still holding his. The touch gives him shivers; he barely finds his strength to nod — and then something unbelievable happens. Something he wasn’t even aware he was dreaming of.

Lan Sizhui leans in, and their lips touch. The smell of oranges and cedar surrounds him, and all he can feel is Lan Sizhui’s mouth warm and soft on his.

Jin Ling worries he didn’t do it the right way at first. His lips are dry and his chin is stiff, but then Lan Sizhui gasps and opens his mouth slightly, and his tongue brushes over Jin Ling’s lower lip.

Jin Ling panics and breaks the kiss, startled. Never before he had even tried to imagine something like that.

He bites his lip and looks at Lan Sizhui from under his bangs. “Isn’t behaviour like that… forbidden?” he asks carefully.

“Not if you are courting me,”  Lan Sizhui says in a casual way, while Jin Ling almost dies.

He leans in and touches Lan Sizhui’s forehead with his. “Can I— Can I court you?”

Lan Sizhui doesn’t answer right away, “Why?” he asks instead, his voice quiet. “Was it my dad? Did he tell you that you have to court me because of the ribbon?”

“No! Of course not! He just—” Jin Ling stumbles. “He just told me that he wasn’t the one to invite me to Gusu.” He squeezes Lan Sizhui’s hand tighter. “Is it true?”

Lan Sizhui nods. “I wanted you to come, but I never thought you would agree. You always seemed so distant .”

Jin Ling doesn’t want to be distant. Not now. His arms go around Lan Sizhui’s waist, and he pulls him closer, his chin sliding onto Lan Sizhui’s shoulder. They stay like that for some time; hugging Lan Sizhui is the second best thing, after kissing him.

“I want you to come to Lanling to visit,” he almost whispers into his ear. “I want you to fall in love with Lanling the same way I fell in love with Gusu.”

Lan Sizhui stays silent for some time. Finally, he says, “I should go to Lotus Pier first.”

That makes Jin Ling take a step back. “Why?” He frowns. He tries not to think about the fact that Lan Sizhui hasn’t answered his question yet.

“Because of your uncles,” Lan Sizhui says calmly. “I need to ask their permission to court you.”

“What?! Who needs their permission!” Jin Ling sputters, but then it hits him. “Is that a yes ?” he asks, his heart stops for a moment. “Do you agree?”

Lan Sizhui finds his hand again, and their fingers interlock. “Of course it’s a yes.” He smiles. “It’s always yes with you.”

Behind their backs, the sun is setting down in the beautiful mountains surrounded by forest. Jin Ling breathes in the fresh air of summer and squeezes Lan Sizhui’s hand tighter.

He’ll never let it go.