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Death a shroud of misery and decay a never ending icy embrace with no peace to be had at least not for their kind. The prospect of being sent to the void wasn’t exactly appealing but the alternative was even worse. At first he had been confused even affronted by the very suggestion to bow to a creature so impure and weak he was not the only one to feel such fury at the order. He was a warrior a soldier of their father one who proudly followed without question but for the first time in his brief existence he had questioned and now here they were.

Around him his brothers and sisters lay broken dolls blackening the earth Heavens finest reduced to empty shells all for the sake of humanity, he mourned them grace swelling with something akin to sorrow, they had fought valiantly and for that he would grieve but now was not the time to allow something so human to control his will. The sky was bright a brilliant blue a mockery of joy and celebration such a beautiful display it only helped to illuminate how many had fallen. The earth was stained black scorches creased into the ground as angel after angel fell, never ending pillars of light searing through the air.

Amidst it all he stood the Morningstar the brightest of them all wings large and arched with defiance a brilliant array of colour ranging from the deepest of lapzil to the shimmering glistening’s of silver. He could spend hours admiring their colours more beautiful than any other in creation at times he envied their magnificence but overall he adored their striking appearance.

They were surrounding him swords flashing with the intent to maim to slash away those wings to remove that all powering grace but none ever managed to reach the archangel. He only had a brief second to sense the presence behind him to quickly avoid the sword coming down narrowly missing his wings Selaphil of course. He twists wings tightening together to take flight he is faster than most of his kin and he uses this to his advantage.

Selaphil follows him steely grey wings smaller than his own beating harshly eyes blazing with grace. In another time Castiel would revel in the challenge the opportunity to show off but now was not the time nor the place, they fly through the air in the mirror of a dance he dives left then right but Selaphil is determined mouth set into a snarl wings beating harsh and strong, he feels an odd sense of pride though they had not been close he can admire his brother’s resolve this tenacious will to destroy the enemy and that simple fact drops the pride. The enemy how quickly brothers had turned on one another all for the sake of humanity again the repulsion claws at his belly the familiar anger and disbelief.

He rounds quickly taking the other angel off guard spiraling gathering his wings tightly to propel towards him, he arches into hard flesh “Forgive me brother” his blade finds his mark sinking beneath Selaphil’s chest. The clear betrayal etches across his brother’s face eyes screaming with accusation it makes his skin crawl with guilt but there is no other way he wishes there was but there has been no forthcoming solution. The explosion of grace sears at his skin eradicating any evidence of his brothers existence wings leaving the familiar scorched print behind the only evidence of his treachery. There is no time to stop to fall into this toxic feeling plucking at his chest and stinging his eyes the battle rages on though the victor is still unclear.

“Castiel” he freezes eyes turning to his former captain Anael she has chosen a fine vessel long dark locks eyes blazing a never ending green wasteland “Anael” his fingers hold his blade tightly she was quicker than him more experienced but he had strength on his side still he was given pause they had always been close she was his friend one who he had come to trust dearly to see her now made his resolve shake.

“Stop this brother” her voice is harsh but beneath it he can detect the tremors of need the slight pleading quality “There is no other way” it had become his mantra of sorts ever since this had all begun.

Her mouth tightened eyes flickering with the first threads of grace “We are soldiers Castiel we are made to follow who are you to defy our father’s will” there’s such reproach such passion in her voice in the past he would cower before her like a fledgling properly reprimanded for his behaviour but this time he stands firm

“I will not bow to a creature so predisposed to violence so weak and undeserving who are they to be placed so highly above us Anael us his children I cannot sit back and watch this world become a place of violence and decay watch as our father’s creation’s are ruined by their fickle ambitions I have watched them I have seen there greed their hate they are unworthy” for a moment he thinks she will listen her eyes pluck with uncertainty before her mouth presses into a straight line

“It is our Father’s will humanity is only an infant they are beautiful and warm they have what we lack for all their flaws they are awe inspiring don’t you see it’s because they are imperfect its because they feel that’s what makes them deserving it's what makes them free in a way neither you nor I ever could be why ruin such a gift” her hands uselessly gesture towards him there is no hiding the plea this time

“Castiel you are young but special you have something in you something the rest of us lack, you feel as they do I have seen it,you can be so much more than this why won’t you join me brother stop this crusade this isn’t you” the guilt pulses across his grace and for a moment he thinks maybe was this really worth so many lives so much rage and sacrifice so many had fallen.

His eyes sting again grace tremored with grief her eyes gleam with sadness hands reaching for him “Brother it is not too late lay down your arms Michael will be merciful” Michael gone is the sadness gone is the hesitation Michael is anything but merciful he is cold and unmoving a cruel figure of justice with no cracks no sign of empathy. “Michael is anything but merciful sister” he is more resigned than anything he knows his faith.

Anael eyes flare almost like fire “He will spare you I will ensure it” he swallows another human reaction it sickens him to the core even now he despises the face he wears still she presses on almost violently

“You are only doing this for him” it’s almost like a physical blow anger curls thick and hot in his veins vessel almost shaking with the force of it how wrong she is, it is so much more than that if anything he had been the one to press the issue he had been the one to share his disgust and his rage not him never him.

Unwilling his eyes cross across the battlefield but there is no sign his grace screams with panic heart beating wildly.

“Castiel” her voice is closer now of course this had just been a trick a play to get closer he should have known better he pulls his grace close “I am doing this for our brethren whether you can see it or not Anael our Father’s world is doomed the moment he decided to create those beasts he signed us all off to the void” his blade feels steadier than it ever has before “I refuse to lay down and watch this world burn” he lunges expecting the pain expecting the tears at his vessel and he is not disappointed.

Her sword clashes with his own grace tearing across his skin the angel blade nicks at his flesh painful and bright he manages to avoid the  more lethal blows but she is faster her legs kick him sweeping under his feet and he staggers how often had she reminded him about his footwork its just enough to give her the advantage she lunges towards him fists smashing into his face the force brings him to his knees blade clattering uselessly beside him.

She stands above him beautiful and sorrowful “Forgive me brother” the exact words he had uttered only moments before. He curls his wings in a desperate attempt to shield himself from the blow.

He waits the anticipation is worse than anything but then there is nothing he hears Anael scream before she is flung across the battlefield crashing into the mountain side, she drags a few other angels with her caught up in the frantic billowing of her wings.

The sun glares down on him warming his face almost in a caress until he realizes heart leaping grace racing outwards to touch to feel it is not the sun. Lucifer looks down on him piercing eyes expectant a slight thread of worry lingering there

“How often do I have to tell you little one always be aware of your surroundings” he buries the laugh but can’t stop the way his lips stretch into a smile cold hands grip him hauling him upwards wings coming to brush against his own almost in reassurance

“Lucifer” he doesn’t know if he says it out of frustration or gratitude the Morningstar smiles soft and slow despite the screams around them despite the countless glares of the dying. Hands come to cradle his face sweeping across his cheekbones grace reaching out to twine with his own sinking beneath his skin more intimate than any sexual act. “Be more careful little one” it’s meant to be a tease but he can feel how much panic the archangel is in its in how his grace shimmers with blind despair.

His hands fall to the archangels hips almost uncertain a mirror of the first time he had dared touch the Morningstar compelled to reach out and feel that brightness. He’s shaking it makes Castiel breathe that much quicker Lucifer had always been strong his rock an unshakable force none dared defy and yet he’s shaking. He wants to bury him close to shut his eyes and make all this disappear as though it were a bad dream but this is no dream the smell of death slithers in the air the screams its lullaby. “I” there is so much to say but no time Lucifer is already pulling back piercing blues radiating with tenderness

“My Castiel do not throw your life away this world is nothing without you” a kiss is pressed to his lips its brutal and soft all at once, it makes his knees weak and his grace scream with need twining with the cold essence of Lucifer’s. His hands cling to the broad shoulders mouth desperately trying to keep up with this desperate need this urge to feel everything and remember.

Then he is lost those lips move from his blue depths reflecting everything he wishes he could say "Be careful little one” he doesn’t say it but its there the silent I love you meant only for his ears and then he is gone he wants to scream to run after him instead he finds his blade and stands.

His grace settles despite the rhythm of his heart it was not often they would display such affection if anything their relations had been largely secret and for good reason. He grips his blade tighter as two of his brothers fall on him they are violent in a way he has never witnessed before but he uses this uses their grief and their pain against them.Two more scorches blacken the earth how long would this go on, he spots Balthazar not too far from him indigo wings knocking another aside eyes bright with his grace. They had been friends for so long but he would lose him and Hester, Inias, Anael the list went on a testament of his treachery of the countless lives he was willing to take and take them he would in a heartbeat for the goal was much bigger than any of them.

He cursed his father cursed him for leaving them for causing this rift between them cursed him for needing others to worship him when they had all so blindly followed loyal till the very end unquestioning no matter the order. He prayed without thought without direction he prayed that this would end that no more of his brothers and sisters would fall, he prayed that their Father would come back at the very least to stop this, he prayed for guidance for Gabriel to return to aid him in this endeavour Gabriel one of the few who truly acted as a brother to him, he prayed for Lucifer to be safe to still see those tender smiles, those piercing blue depths, to feel those wings caressing his own to hear those whispered promises against his skin

“Mine” “Always mine my Castiel my chosen” to feel that grace rushing over him filling his being with light and cold heat capturing his soul the most beautiful angel in creation the purest of them the most loyal surly their Father would spare his favorite son.

His prayers like that of his brethren go unanswered the battle rages on time loses all meaning there is only the painful stench of death and the never ending flurry of blades then it all changes the field appears to part to mold away as Michael descends sword drawn high eyes blazing with grace it is a sight to behold but he cannot lose his focus. He pushes himself suppressing the acid twinge of guilt every time his blade finds its mark he feels it the moment everything changes the air seems to still it’s the sudden absence of sound the crisp chill racing through the air.

He feels it Lucifer’s grace screams at him panic, blind terror rage he propels himself forwards uncaring of the blades attempting to nick at his flesh uncaring of the galloping footsteps behind him and the hasty beat of wings. It almost feels as though he is frozen when he spots the Morningstar Michael is above him whispering something which he cannot hear but he can feel the betrayal the blind raw anguish and rage so potent it makes his vessel shake he tries to run but he isn’t fast enough the ground gives way he can smell something else now the sickly sweet tang of decay and misery.

It’s something unnatural something grotesque and tainted it’s not something he’s intimately familiar with but even with the powers he possesses he feels a flicker of uncertainty of something sickeningly human fear. Lucifer’s eyes blaze his grace is unmatched wings spread in a defiant array of colour but it doesn’t save him Michael pushes him face impassive eyes righteous in their fury and Lucifer he stumbles but it’s almost as though there are invisible ropes some type of bindings that haul him backwards. “Lucifer” he screams his voice ringing through the air his true voice not the meek vocal cords of the vessel he wears and Lucifer turns eyes blazing in their power body defiantly trying to struggle wings beating harsh and wild in the light.

He tries to move to reach him to haul him back but he is too late he only has a second to see those wings beating valiantly those eyes gleaming with potent force mouth twisted into a snarl before he is ripped away. He stands uselessly it can’t be but it is the ground smooths over once more though that potent stench remains some of his brethren are hauled away clawing desperately wings frantically attempting to escape the same fate but it is futile the sky darkens overhead. He barely notices its as if he is away from this place away from the sickly confines of his vessel away from the screams and the imprints of the dead he feels nothing his grace quivers void of anything he cannot feel him, ever since the dawn of creation ever since the day of his birth he has always felt the cool heat of Lucifer’s grace blanketing the air around him a never ending force sweeter than any other in all creation now he is alone the air feels stripped bare impossibly cold.

He barely flinches when he feels the blade against his back it doesn’t matter now there is no hope their father has truly forsaken them to allow such a unforgivable act happen to his most revered son, they have lost. “It is over Castiel” he barely turns Anael looks oddly regretful her blade digs a tad sharper into his skin he barely feels it “Lay down your blade brother and I will ensure that Michael will be merciful” it is an empty promise the rage almost takes him by surprise he can feel his eyes blaze with heat as he snarls he shimmers it has been sometime since he has been allowed the freedom to move in his true form but he will do so now he will not die in this pathetic assortment of flesh and bone.

Anael eyes gleam but before he can escape before he can taste freedom Michael is before him he can’t recall what he does next but he knows that he acts without restraint without reason or concern. His blade feels right the perfect instrument for his fury but Michael is ready he disarms him with practiced ease before slamming him down the earth cracks and splinters beneath him as he struggles wings flared out violently attempting to curve inwards and attack his brother.

“Be still brother” Michael’s voice is almost too loud too forceful he doesn’t listen he struggles harder baring his teeth primal in a way he has only seen the humans behave. “Michael have mercy he is young he knows no better Lucifer has lured him onto this path he has tainted him whispering lies and damnation luring him in the ways of the flesh” Michael stiffens eyes almost void as the words register Anael stands by him not daring to come to close Castiel doesn’t care he was not lured nor tempted he went willingly of his own volition for the first time he had done something freely had defied the perfect order they were supposed to adhere to.

Michael gazes down at him there is something crossing his face it almost looks like sympathy “I am aware of how persuasive my brother can be you are young Castiel our father’s last creation I cannot kill you to do so will be to defy his will” Castiel struggles harder he wants to tear the pity shaking from those cold eyes to sink his blade into his brother until there is nothing left. He hears Anael’s relieved sigh

“Go and gather the others Anael” he hears the steady beat of her wings as she leaves “I do not need your mercy our father has forsaken us we will all suffer for it even you Michael I am more than willing to join Lucifer for he is right I pity you brother for you cannot see the darkness which is to come mankind will be our undoing” he allows his grace to reach out to strike at his brother’s perfect vessel but his grace is merely a child compared to his brother’s.

Michael sighs “It is I who pity’s you dear Castiel our brother has warped your mind it is a shame you were such a loyal soldier” he struggles anew when he feels Michael’s grace it is almost too warm compared to Lucifer’s like the first rays of the sun shining and pure it is almost painful he resents himself when his own grace unconsciously reaches out.

Michael smiles its a rarity “I will show mercy little brother you deserve this at least but despite my own personal feelings you must still be punished treachery cannot be tolerated” he freezes when he feels the way Michael’s grace shimmers with something akin to affection there is something else something deeper which has his own grace curling inwards attempting to escape.

“You must accept our fathers will Castiel he has created the humans for a reason who are we to question his will you are too bold too curious and so arrogant what gives you the right to question to rebel so there is only one fitting punishment” he screams when Michael’s grace fills him tearing apart his vessel his skin cracks and splinters all he can feel is his brother all he can hear is his brother’s voice booming righteous and bright

“You will live as they do until you have learned your lesson, you will obey and you will never wander again once you have learned I promise dear brother you will be welcomed home you will be what our father intended you to be” he feels it then slipping little by little his grace is pulled taken his vessel falters losing mobility and life becoming an empty shell once more. He tries to fight but he is a flicker a tiny particle of light against the storm that is Michael he is aimless he is nothing. His vision fades the last thing he hears is Michael’s voice softly whispering before he is drifting into the abyss.

“Why couldn’t you have chosen me dear brother” 

Chapter Text

Time is a strange thing no one ever really knows what to expect no matter how hard they may try to. People can plan in an avid attempt to plot their future but regardless of any structured or well meaning intent they can never fully know what the future holds. Some would say that time was irrevocably attached to fate most people didn’t believe in fate but others did for example James or Jimmy as his friends liked to call him. He had grown up believing that everyone had a purpose that it just took certain signs to find it, his parents had been amused whenever he told them that it felt as though he had a specific purpose in life that God had certain plans for him. So strong was his belief that he had been set to join the clergy well into his teens however those plans all quickly fell to the wayside when he came across Amelia.

They had met in his late teens the moment he saw her he just knew that his life had changed that it was a sign one he hastily followed, they began to date not long after they both attended college together they became inseparable. His parents had been a bit reserved when he expressed his desire to marry her, they told him they were too young that he needed to wait and just live in the moment. He grudgingly agreed but despite what his friends expected and his parents they managed to stay together thorough out college quickly moving in together and starting their respective careers just after graduating. Amelia understood him in a way no one else ever did they would whisper their dreams together under the cover of darkness skin pressed tight against each other voices soft and intimate. Not long after graduating he asked her to marry him it hadn’t been some extravagant affair he had always known she would be the woman he would marry.

He had taken her out to their favorite restaurant before walking down by the pier his hands had shook when he had gotten down on his knee, her eyes had been bright mouth falling open into a little gasp but there had been no hesitation she had almost knocked him over when she had jumped arms wrapping tight around his back. They had laughed both breathless completely devoted to each other. They had gotten married on a bright spring morning Amelia had never looked more beautiful than that day and he would always recall how he had prayed giving his thanks to God for allowing him to have this for allowing him to be lucky enough to have someone like Amelia in his life. They settled into a small three bedroom house together it was just right not too big not too small Amelia had fallen in love with the the large windows and open fire it wasn’t much of a commute either personally he hadn’t really cared where they went as long as they were together that was all that had mattered.

It wasn’t easy though marriage did put a strain on their relationship they argued and bickered but they always made up after awhile they found a rhythm and settled into married life they were happy after awhile they had wanted kids it was something they had talked about before getting married something they both wanted. They tried Amelia had been worried when they hadn’t been successful the first few times he would reassure her that they had plenty of time but he couldn’t deny the pool of disappointment he would feel whenever he saw another negative result. It put another strain on their relationship Amelia would sob clutching his shirt confessing that she felt as though she was failing him, he never blamed her how could he. He reminded her that God would grace them with children when the time was right she would sigh but agree he was happy he could provide at least some sort of comfort. Still he would spend night after night praying then one night he had a dream it was so vivid he hadn’t believed he was dreaming at the time. He had seen a child one that had his dark hair and Amelia’s complexion but the eyes they weren’t a shade neither him nor Amelia had they were a never ending sea of blue vivid and striking too many shades to even begin to name. He had just known reaching out to this child that the time was right that it was another sign, three days later Amelia had screamed.

It had startled him so badly his heart had jumped painfully tight against his chest as he raced to the bathroom he had been expecting blood or to see her broken body instead she had been standing in the room face streaked with tears. His heart had skipped a beat but when he had asked her what was wrong she had just wrapped her arms around him tears staining his shirt before telling him that he had been right. His confusion had been almost palpable but when he had pulled back just enough to see her face she had been smiling he hadn’t seen her smile so brightly before. She had all but thrusted the test at him the world seemed to freeze when he realized what he was seeing after so many months after so much heartache they had finally succeeded it had almost been surreal.

Everyone had been happy for them he thanked God for giving him such a gift Amelia’s pregnancy had been almost too smooth though no nausea or swollen ankles even her temperament had remained relatively even his father told him he was lucky telling him that his own mother had been almost demonic during her pregnancy. They were happy he would spend hours murmuring to her belly caressing his hands over the expanding flesh knowing that something so fragile and beautiful was growing just beneath the surface, Amelia teased him that he would end up spoiling them. He didn’t care though he went out of his way to make sure his wife and child were looked after reading book after book and being at his wife’s beck and call when the time came he had been by her side not wanting to miss a second.

He admired Amelia’s strength that day she had spent hours in pain huffing and struggling her face shiny with sweat a nurse had jokingly told them that it was if their child didn’t want to come out yet. He had been worried especially when the midwives began to give each other concerned glances for over 18 hours Amelia struggled resisting when he suggested she allow doctors to intervene. Sure enough the midwives told them that they may need to operate instead but finally Amelia had persevered she had gritted her teeth tearing her lip open in the process before finally sagging in relief. There had been silence for a moment and in that moment they had all collectively held their breath but just when he had thought the worst a piercing cry had filled the room it had been so loud so vibrant and strong it had momentarily startled him. Amelia had laughed before reaching out the midwives had been quick to pass their child over a boy they had told them smiling brightly. Amelia had held him tight finger’s brushing softly across pudgy cheeks Jimmy had given them a moment knowing how important it was but after a few seconds he couldn’t resist crowding close. Almost as though sensing him their son had looked his way and those eyes he had frozen at the sight because they had been the same the same striking ocean of blues, he had shakily reached out fingers touching the soft skin those eyes had darkened almost irritated.

Amelia had laughed when he told her so gently telling him it was no wonder considering the ordeal they had both been through he had laughed with her but a part of him had known that hadn’t been the case. It had been Amelia’s suggestion to name him after him something had whispered to him the name just didn’t sit right he had told Amelia as much she had sighed before asking him what he wanted to call him then. Staring down into that endless sea of blue one name came to mind to this day he isn’t sure where it came from his parents would blame it on his early obsession with religion but he had just known it was right.

“Cassiel” Amelia had blinked mouth twisting for a few moments before nodding telling him that it was unique different. Their friends agreed as did their parents something changed after Cassiel was born he couldn’t explain it but he could feel it, it was as though the world had shifted there was this static in the air a noticeable electric zing as though it was the beginning of something as to what he didn’t know.

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Cassiel wasn’t like anyone else as a child he was withdrawn quiet and almost too intelligent. He seemed to know things without rhyme or reason his parents could never figure it out it was almost disturbing the things he knew, the way he would stand almost too still and just watch while other children would run and play. As a baby he was quiet only crying when they brought him to church face scrunching up in anger and skin flushing an almost alarming shade of red. In truth Cassiel couldn’t explain why he knew things either, words would just pass across his eyes knowledge readily whirling through his mind it wasn’t as though he knew everything but he knew more than he should and as he grew it only seemed to broaden and expand.

His parents worried when he started school because instead of playing with his peers or attempting to interact with them he would sit alone and just watch. He was almost too stoic it was hard even for his parents to get him to react to anything but there was one thing he reacted to one thing that elicited a powerful and almost joyous response every single time. Amelia and Jimmy had discovered it by accident one day they had decided to visit Amelia’s parents Cassiel had been two at the time aimlessly wandering but Amelia and Jimmy both remembered when her father had shown them a small prism he had picked up on one of his many errant trips.

It had been bright that day and due to Amelia’s prior fascination with photography she had entertained her father as he started to go in depths about the best lighting suited for outdoor shots the strangest thing though had been Cassiel’s reaction. When the prism had caught the light allowing a rainbow of colour to reflect on the white wall behind them Cassiel had shrieked for a moment they had both panicked assuming he had fallen over and hurt himself but before either of them could so much as turn their son had bounded over to them small legs shaking as he wobbled before almost face planting himself against the wall. Amelia had reached out to stop him just in time but Cassiel had been fascinated his eyes had shone with such joy such happiness as he frantically palmed the wall giggling when the colours passed over his skin illuminating his fair complexion in an exotic mix. They had been stunned to see their son normally so reserved act so eagerly so happily and fascinated he was mumbling to himself as he skimmed his fingers back and soft almost gently.

They had exchanged a look bewildered but happy Jimmy had lifted him upwards so he could reach better they spent the rest of the afternoon entertaining him on the way home Amelia’s father gave them the little trinket eyes crinkling in mirth. It had given them an idea after some searching and careful consideration they manged to gather some stained glass Amelia set about crafting a number of chimes hanging the various woven strings of colour and glass set into particular shapes from the ceiling so that they would catch the light whenever the sun rose. Cassiel was delighted he would spend hours transfixed sitting and staring at the rainbow of colour around him often splaying his fingers against the floor or wall following the beautiful array of shapes. He was always so happy so excited and ecstatic to just sit and play amidst the colours they could never understand why but as long as Cassiel was happy it was all that mattered.

As Cassiel grew older his fascination didn’t fade is anything he seemed to find solace amidst the colours often sitting with his eyes closed and just breathing. He took to drawing as soon as he was six face scrunching up as he tried to replicate the colours in front of him but more times than not he would frown and scowl often telling his parents that it wasn’t right no matter how often they would praise his work. By the time Cassiel turned nine his skill went beyond that of a child something which perplexed Jimmy but Amelia was openly proud about ,despite this though Cassiel remained stoic almost uncaring of his ability often scrapping the sketches he would draw before retreating to his room to read it wasn’t surprising it seemed that Cassiel rarely glanced up from the books he inhaled with an almost inhuman hunger.

His intelligence was encouraged and praised by his teachers but Jimmy silently worried because despite being his son Cassiel didn’t act like a child he almost seemed too old and jaded acting wise beyond his years it caught him off guard at times because it wasn’t right no child should act so hardened so bitter. Time went on when Cassiel was ten he gained a sister Claire she was the opposite to Cassiel she cried alot and during her pregnancy with her Amelia experienced nausea,mood swings and strange food cravings when they told Cassiel that he would be gaining a sister he acted indifferent they worried that he might become resentful considering the age gap but if anything Cassiel was almost unconcerned.

When they brought home Claire he merely glanced at her those blues giving nothing away before retreating to his room. They worried but they hadn’t really any time to give it much thought because Claire was a handful she cried constantly face scrunching up until she practically shook with rage tiny fists swinging out no matter what they did. One night Amelia too tired to even move curled herself up into a tight ball covering her face when they heard Claire’s tell tale screech resigned Jimmy had manged to summon some form of energy enough to stumble out of bed and head to her nursery he had missed a step when the screeching suddenly stopped.

Cautiously he had kept going not daring to put too much force into his steps as he gently pushed the door open in the dark it had been difficult to see at first but after a couple of seconds his eyes had adjusted enough to make out Cassiel sitting in Amelia’s rocking chair in his arms Claire sat contently sucking her fingers as she stared up at him. He had frozen because Cassiel had almost made it his mission to steer clear of his little sister often casting her indecipherable looks before slinking off to his room or outside. It took a moment for Jimmy to realize that Cassiel was humming some sort of lullaby it wasn’t something he was familiar with it sounded strange but soothing all at once after a second Cassiel began to sign softly almost warmly it wasn’t the singing which surprised Jimmy though it had been a shock it had been the words because he couldn’t decipher them couldn’t begin to comprehend what they were all he knew was that it wasn’t English.

His stomach had tightened and that feeling had swept over him again that something was different that something was changing despite it though he found himself lulled to drowsiness himself swaying on his feet before quickly straightening as Claire dozed off. With almost practiced ease Cassiel lifted her up and placed her back into her crib absently caressing her pudgy cheeks before crossing the room he doesn’t know why but Jimmy found himself quickly running back to his room and closing the door. His heart had stilled when he heard footsteps lingering outside their bedroom before continuing on it was strange and yet things seemed to shift after that night.

Cassiel would linger around Claire often frowning when she reached out to him or gurgled happily it was almost as though she was some sort of creature that he couldn’t begin to understand Amelia and Jimmy were just happy that Cassiel appeared to have some interest in her anything was better than the almost cool indifference he often displayed. Claire however was the exception Cassiel didn’t know why he couldn’t begin to describe it but he almost resented people in general seeing them just putter around day to day made his skin crawl and flesh stretch around his tightened fists.

At school he shrank everyone from people often tightening his lips to suppress the fury swirling across his chest it had always been this way it wasn’t something he ever told his parents about. His parents now they were another matter he felt attached to them but sometimes he found himself watching them wondering absently as they went about their business, he wondered what their purpose was what anyone’s purpose truly was it all seemed so tiresome living without any particular rhyme or reason. Sometimes he just felt disgusted people acted so callously so selfishly consumed only by their own meager lives and needs never seeing beyond their own selves it was repulsive and infuriating.

His father often spoke about fate and God’s plan for them all that everyone had a purpose it was just a matter of finding it. Cassiel admired him for that however he questioned why people in general felt entitled enough to expect that God had hand selected everyone's life for a particular reason it seemed almost arrogant then again as he came to learn human beings in general were arrogant as well as ignorant. It felt almost repulsive to be classed in the same category to know that he had descended from such pretentious entitlement it only seemed to worsen the older he became. His family he came to care for even Claire despite his initial mistrust and disinterest and time went on after awhile he learned to adapt to some extent he still felt the same repulsion the same gut churning anger but he tried to suppress it.

Things changed though on his eleventh birthday people began to go missing in his town young men, married men no one seemed to really notice at least they didn’t add it up. He had been almost fascinated drawn in a way he never had been before, he followed the news and then one night he couldn’t help himself. He waited until his parents had gone asleep before quietly making his way out of the house. It had been cold and almost too dark but something told him to keep going so he did he walked for hours breathe nothing more than a foggy cloud before halting at the roadside. He had waited at the time he hadn’t known why but something in him just knew and then he had seen her standing by the wayside. Her hair had been dark but it was her dress that made her stand out almost blindly white in the darkness a car had pulled over some young man calling her over. He watched as she walked almost entranced watched as she slid into the car before the pair had sped off.

He had known that strange knowledge whispering across his mind and he just knew the next day the car had been found crashed in some ditch the young man had died he didn’t get to know the details they weren’t really necessary. He had felt almost excited thrilled to an extent he had gone to the library reading book after book before going through the obituary’s. It had been along process it had taken him a few days but in the end he had discovered the story of Leah Archer a woman who had killed herself after discovering her husbands’ infidelity and it all just fell into place.

He waited again before sneaking out it hadn’t been hard to find salt or to heft his dad’s shovel the walk to the cemetery though had taken awhile. The moon had been bright almost vivid he had dug until he was shaking face shiny with sweat and breath labored but he had managed. He had felt repulsed by the smell but almost detached it had been his first time seeing someone’s dead body and yet he didn’t feel anything really except pity the feeling had startled him but he could empathize after all this woman had been wronged and left to suffer he could empathize at least with that. Burning the bones had been strange and painful because as soon as he lit the match that woman had appeared again had screamed and lunged towards him face twisted into some unrecognizable grotesque shape. His heart had raced his hands had shook but he had manged to throw the match unfortunately he had also flinched and fallen backwards smacking his head against the coffin lid. In a scream and a rush of air she had disappeared in the dark he had shakily pulled himself out of the hole he had dug he wouldn’t feel the pain from the hit till later.He had just lied there breathing staring up at the sky, he had finally felt as though something had clicked into place.

He had found his purpose.  

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The woman in white was Cassiel’s first hunt his first dip into the supernatural world but once it happened he was different. He spent hours researching and training knowing that knowledge wouldn’t always help him especially in a fight. His parents worried especially when he would come home some days with unexplained bruises it was easy to lie to them easy to pretend that some imaginary bully was giving him a hard time, it hadn’t been particularly difficult to sell. He became a machine almost it was like he couldn’t get enough and the knowledge it only grew he ached for it devouring every scrap of lore or intel he could find, it was thrilling putting pieces together fascinating to learn how wide and vast the supernatural world truly was.

Sometimes he would write down what he learned other times he would draw the creatures he met as he grew older his targets changed he began to take on more and more difficult cases ghosts, werewolves, vampires, changelings,ghouls,wendigo’s the list was endless. On his hunts he would know how to kill the creatures without prior knowledge would have some innate knowledge about the case at hand and be able to piece it all together withing minutes. Sometimes it scared him the things he knew the things that would just randomly appear in his head but it was beneficial too so he began to look at it as a gift something to be proud of.

He managed to graduate school with honors his parents had been proud but confused when he had told them that he was going to put off college for awhile in truth he didn’t see the point in college there was too much to do too much at stake why should he waste his time in a class when he could be keeping people safe. It was strange really growing up he resented people but as time wore on he began to see them differently only some though human beings as a whole were still arrogant creatures but along the way he met people who changed his mind like the first time he saved a young girl from a vampire she had been so thankful so grateful it changed something in him.

It made him think that maybe not every single person was some selfish arrogant creature that maybe humans were capable of kindness of good this belief was only strengthened when he discovered the hunter community he had been cautious at first of them but after some time he came around to the idea in a way it was nice to meet others who were so willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. He made a name for himself amongst them they were almost awed when he recounted some of his hunts even more impressed by his knowledge and impressive build many it would seem tended to either be more lore born or warriors he was a mix of both and it was enough to stand out.

He even managed to make some friends but something was missing at night he would lie underneath some cheap tacky cracked ceiling and feel empty as though there was some missing piece some nights his chest ached with it. The only thing which soothed it was the shards of stained glass he brought with him more often than not he would wrap the disjointed glass fragments around his wrist before curling it towards his chest it made sleeping easier.

He learned different skills on the road working in bars or auto shops to earn some meager wage but it was enough to get by all he needed was money for glass and food anyway. He would get calls from people he never hesitated hunting made him feel good but at times it was taxing the more popular he became the more the workload doubled he didn’t complain it wasn’t as though he could say no because despite the others out there he was still different stronger, smarter and more lethal than any other hunter he met everyone knew it.

Some hunters would jokingly tell him that he gave the Winchesters a run for their money he had heard of them they had been a hot topic amongst the community but he gave them no mind he wasn’t doing it for the popularity for the praise or the gratitude sometimes he wondered why he was doing it all he knew was that it made sense. His popularity soared when the community discovered his proficiency for getting rid of demons in truth his first demon hunt had been unlike anything else. There had been something different when he was standing over the creature valiantly trying to free itself before he could even think his lips had parted Latin he was fluent at but it wasn’t Latin that passed his lips it was something else he couldn’t even recognize the words himself but the creature the demon it had snarled and appeared almost frightened. It had been electric watching that black mass tear through the sky his hands had shook afterwards mouth dry and heart racing he couldn’t figure out why.

Still he enjoyed hunting demons more than anything else maybe it was because they were so inherently grotesque and bad maybe it was because it gave him a rush unlike anything else because every time he hunted one every time he saw that signature black mass rising something whispered across his mind but no matter how hard he tried to listen to understand the words crossing his head he couldn’t. He became to go to for anything demon related and he knew demons better than anything he didn’t even have to learn about them he just knew knew what omens to look for knew their patterns and who was more susceptible to their honeyed lies.

His reputation grew apparently even amongst the creatures he hunted demons would visibly attempt to flee once they spotted his signature trench coat most hunters preferred leather jackets or denim but he was partial to hi tan coat because it reminded him of his father it had actually belonged to him when he was leaving home after graduating he had asked to take it with him his parents had been almost amused but indulged him. It helped to remind him of where he came from of how this had all began because if it wasn’t for living in that town if it wasn’t for his parents meeting and marrying he would never have been born or have discovered the woman in white his father would probably call it fate.

Everything changed though when he came across the signs again in Standford he knew something was coming something different his stomach rolled with unease he wasn’t sure why he packed up his gear and thanked the Harvelle’s for letting him stay. Ellen reminded him to call while Jo enviously watched him go he could understand her envy her mother still refused to allow her to hunt personally he agreed with Ellen hunting was a hard life Jo was young she was also subtlety interested in him.

It wasn’t the first time people were interested in him after all he had filled out over the years becoming broad and strong apparently that compared with his eyes was enough of a draw according to Ash he always waved it off to be honest he couldn’t bare the feeling of other people touching him. In high school people had kissed him but he always felt sick his gut would clench and his skin would prickle with unease it just felt wrong no matter who it was he had more important things to do sex wasn’t something he needed in his life he accepted the general teasing he would receive from other hunters but it became a well known fact that he either didn’t kiss and tell or was just too consumed in the life to enjoy any other pleasure. He took a breath briefly glancing back at the bar pushing the unease aside he slung his pack over his back before revving the engine if he kept going he should reach Standford in a day or so hopefully it would be run of the mill.

He should have known better.