Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Vampires are annoying. Jeongguk hates them more than the man beside him, who he has quite passionately argued is the bane of his existence.  It’s just their ability to creep around without making a noise is a major pain in the ass. It’s nature, why they’ve been able to go undetected for so long. Inherited characterizations that increase the chance of surviving.

Darwin’s theory of evolution. 

Maybe that’s not how Darwin meant it, species being more adaptable due to a bite in the neck and a complete changing of their being rather than heritable traits modifying over time. But still. They’re given the traits that would be ultimate for humans to survive generation after generation, but it changed who they are. Made them monsters.

Monsters who grow stronger each generation somehow, adapting to the new ways hunters operate. New weapons, discoveries. Still fucking surviving somehow.

But so have the hunters. Not just in knowledge, but those heritable characteristics. Jeongguk comes from a long, long line of vampire hunters. His hearing range doubles that of an average human, his eyes adjust better in the dark. See farther in the light. His body faster, stronger, and sometimes in these moments, Jeongguk feels as if his body were personally designed to be ten steps above an average human so he’s only one step behind vampires. 

They can blend in the dark, move without making a sound that can’t be heard by the average ear. They are fast to the point where they seem to become invisible, but the Earth doesn’t change for them. There’s still a shift in the air, a breeze from their movements. If you pay attention, you can hear it, feel it.

Jeongguk can hear them, though it’s minuscule. One step here, another there. The quietest of murmurings, just a vibration of sound waves in the air that reaches Jeongguk’s ears.

Locating the position still remains difficult. Being wrong isn’t an option. Vampires’ enhanced ability to hear makes it so even the smallest wrong movement from Jeongguk could mean his death.

Upon entering, Jeongguk only has seconds. A second to locate, to aim, and to kill. 

But as reckless as Jeongguk may be, and his companions would say he is, he’s also good at what he does. He only glances at his partner, ignores the warning look in his eyes, before he takes a step and shoots. The chance he’s right about location is about seventy percent, but that’s good enough for him.

“Fuck you, Jeon,” Taehyung grunts under his breath, aggravated, but they’re moving.

The sound of a body hitting the ground gives Jeongguk confidence, an ego boost that surely Taehyung will later complain about being one of his main reasons for returning Jeongguk’s mutual feelings of hatred. 

“You wish,” Jeongguk whispers back as he eyes the body on the floor and makes a quick scan of the rest of the room. It’s an abandoned restaurant, at least to the public’s knowledge.

But it’s very clearly lived in. Three sets of bedding on the ground, a TV smuggled into the corner. Gaming systems beneath it and dishware on one of the tables because a vampire’s favorite past time is pretending they’re human. 

“I’d rather eat my own dick than have you anywhere near it,” Taehyung seethes beneath his breath, his shoulder pushing into Jeongguk’s to urge him forward. 

“I’d pay to see that,” Jeongguk replies before he moves, quick and swift as instinct and training takes over. 

Vampires may have heightened senses, but Jeongguk’s made sure that it isn’t an advantage on him. He slams an elbow into Taehyung, pushing him back when he catches movement in his peripheral. 

He shoots, doesn’t hesitate. Another body down. There’s only a moment where his heart skips a beat, so fast that Jeongguk doesn’t even register it before he moves further. 

Onto the next one. Don’t stop until they’re all dead.

“Jeon, left.”

Jeongguk’s body twists as if it were his own brain giving him the command. He barely glimpses at the target, just enough to take in its amber eyes, before his trigger finger presses down.

The sound of the gun going off, the grunt that leaves the vampire’s lips, the way it’s body slumps to the ground, sends an adrenaline through Jeongguk that’s like a high. Victory. 

“Two more.”

A back hits against his own, and it’s a dance Jeongguk knows well. The familiar shifting of feet, the sound of his partner’s labored breathing. 

As much as he hates him, Jeongguk trusts him with his life. He has to. 

It has less to do with whether Taehyung is trustworthy or not and more about survival. The one main thing vampires and humans have in common. 

They need to survive, and Jeongguk will never admit it out loud, but he relies on Taehyung for it. He’s quick, intelligent, good with a gun though decapitation is his specialty. 

The only thing he needs to fix is the amount of shit that falls from his mouth. 

“I only counted three beds,” Jeongguk breathes out, scanning every inch in front of him. For the slightest movement, shadows, any sign that tells him why Taehyung’s counted four.

“Rookie move,” Taehyung laughs under his breath before the sound of a gun goes off.

It’s a whirlwind, exhilarating. Jeongguk spends weeks preparing for moments like this, his entire life truly, though these kinds of raids never take long. Thirty minutes tops. It’s sometimes disappointing when the nest is filled with weak, young vampires who don’t know how to put up a proper fight.

That’s what they’re dealing with tonight. It’s too easy, so much so that when the last vampire hits the ground, Jeongguk’s sure they can’t be done yet. He refuses to let his guard down, even when Taehyung seems to. He’s not even out of breath yet, heart not racing. 

Jeongguk’s gut instinct is his best partner.

Though, Jeongguk doesn’t miss the chance to brag that he was right. It’s a habit at this point when it comes to Taehyung, the shit talking that happens between them. “Told you there were only three, Kim.”

“Oh wow, congratulations, Jeon. You were right once in your life.”

Jeongguk turns to Taehyung to make sure he can see the grin that takes over his lips. “Don’t sound so bitter, baby.” 

Taehyung rolls his eyes as he slips his gun into the holster at his hip. He’s leaving this one cleaner than usual, not a speck of blood on him. They’re both dressed head to toe in black, though Taehyung shines with how much silver he wears. The thick bands on every finger, wrapped around his wrists, the thick choker around his neck, lining the entire shell of his ear. Two in his nose, below the middle of his bottom lip, an eyebrow. 

The silver knives strapped to his ankles, the shiny sword strapped to his back. The light always catches on every inch of him, and it can be distracting at times. That’s what Jeongguk claims is the reason his eyes always dart from one inch to his partner to another.

Why Jeongguk’s eyes are always on Taehyung.

Why they are now, distracting him from the shadow that moves behind him.

“Far from bitter. I, unlike you, am not in need of getting my ego stroked as often as you are,” Taehyung says, wagging a thick brow at him. It’s a lie. Taehyung is just as competitive as himself. “Call Joon before he eats all his fingernails in worry.” 

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose at him, eyes dropping to where Taehyung’s hand twists over the silver bands on his wrists. “He shouldn’t be worried. This isn’t our first rodeo. This one was fucking easy. Their alpha should better train his nest.”

At the same time, both of their faces fall. As if their minds are connected. The statement making them both realize they never found the alpha.

It’s one of the basic rules. If the only one vampire dies during a raid, it better fucking be the alpha.

It’s a beat. A prolonged moment where Jeongguk’s thinking about how pretty Taehyung is with his shit eating smile as he watches it fall in time with his own. Their expressions mirrored, but Taehyung’s eyes widen with an alarm that Jeongguk doesn’t feel. 

Taehyung’s a good partner, intelligent. His senses are quite good, though he hasn’t been training as long. An average human who discovered vampires at the start of his adulthood. But he’s fueled with the same level of hatred, anger. It makes him strong.

In a flash, Taehyung’s hand connects to the hilt of his sword as he pivots on his toes. Alarm fills Jeongguk as his arms fly up, gun snug between his hands. 

They’re partners, having trained side by side for three years now. Sometimes, it feels as if their bodies are connected. Taehyung moves, Jeongguk follows suit, vice versa. They always move in sync like they’re two parts of the same body. Jeongguk speeds forward, the want to push Taehyung aside in his mind.

Because survival isn’t only for one’s self. But also for the people someone considers theirs. 

Partners, Jeongguk means. Hunting partners, that is. Taehyung has to rely on Jeongguk as much as Jeongguk relies on him. That’s all. 

Taehyung is quick, spinning like the ballerina he teases Jeongguk to be when they practice. Jeongguk barely registers this vampire’s black eyes before the blade  connects to his neck.

It makes a sickening sound, one that Jeongguk doesn’t find as pleasant. The vampire cries out before he’s separated from his body, head flying off to the side. Jeongguk only glances to make sure it actually happened, unable to watch because their faces move for minutes afterwards. 

Taehyung breathes heavily, nose flaring as Jeongguk comes up beside him. “We’re never done until we find the alpha, Jeon. Told you there were four.”

Jeongguk knocks their shoulders, annoyance filling him. Taehyung’s right but he won’t admit it. “You’re the one that was ready to call it quits, man.”

“Eh?” Taehyung asks cockily, a smirk on his face as he slips the bloody blade back into its holder. He’s not as clean anymore, blood speckled across his face and neck. “Didn’t think the alpha would come out unless he thought our guards were down. Mine wasn’t, at least. You, however? Too busy looking me over?”

“Eat my ass,” Jeongguk grunts as he opens the small satchel at his waist and retrieves the black cloth he keeps amongst the random other supplies he’s learned over time are necessary. “Namjoon said the clan wasn’t this big.”

“He makes mistakes too,” Taehyung says, chin tilting up to let Jeongguk wipe the blood from him. “Unlike myself.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes and tosses the cloth in Taehyung’s face. “Let’s go home. It’s starting to smell in here from all the shit you’re spewing.”

Home is a bunker beneath the city streets. It doesn’t feel underground with the UV lights Namjoon’s insisted they use to ‘lighten the mood.’ He said while laughing at his own joke so hard that even Jeongguk laughed, though he didn’t know until later that Namjoon meant it because UV lights are actually used to as a form of light therapy for depression.

Which, Jeongguk’s not sure how true that is. All he knows is they seem brighter than the actual sun and aren’t a good idea after they’ve been creeping around in the dark for hours.

It hurts his eyes when he first enters the hatch, located inside of a coffee shop that Namjoon runs during the day time. The bunker is quite large, the size of an average school with Namjoon’s office at the farthest end from the entrance, but he’s right there the moment Jeongguk’s feet land on the ground.

“You didn’t call,” Namjoon grits out as he fidgets with the horn rimmed glasses perched on his nose. His sandy brown hair is sticking out around his ears, from pulling at it from stress no doubt.

“You were wrong about the count,” Jeongguk says beneath his breath, and that’s all he says before he walks off. Or tries to as Namjoon grabs his arm and yanks him back.

“He’s just pissy because he missed the obvious signs that there were more than three vampies,” Taehyung says as he leans back against the wall, that smirk still on his face. “There were three beds, but one of them was large enough for them to be a mated pair, Jeonggukkie. There’s always a mated pair. There was fresh blood on the counter meaning it was unlikely the alpha was out in search of food.”

Jeongguk grits his teeth as he shakes Namjoon’s touch off. Another thing Taehyung is right about, and it only serves to further Jeongguk’s annoyance. “Come with me on the next raid, hyung. You know I hate working with Taehyung.”

Namjoon snorts at that, looking between them. “You two work the best together.”

Making a retching noise, Jeongguk denies that. Even if it’s true. Jeongguk’s the top hunter around, and maybe Taehyung can have the second spot. “Well, when are the hunters from Busan getting here? We can’t keep doing this with two, Joon. We’re seeing more nests pop up every day.”

Namjoon looks haggard for a moment, hand wiping down his face. “They’re not coming. Problem in Busan is just as bad as the one here in Seoul. I’ve reached out to Jihyo from the Academy, hoping she can send some recruits this way.”

Jeongguk nods. He’s exhausted now, and though he didn’t get too dirty, he desperately needs a shower. Just for the heat, to clear his head. “Alright. Can I go now? Briefing later?”

It looks as if Namjoon’s going to tell him he can’t as he hesitates, but he finally nods. He’s the best one out of the three of them to lead, but sometimes he’s also a pain in Jeongguk’s ass. 

But they’ve been together since as long as Jeongguk can remember, both of their parents hunters that lived within the same commune together. They attended the Academy together, left home together. Found their own bunker together. Started their own commune.

And they’ve lost everyone else in it. They were a small group, and Jeongguk’s gotten a little over his head at times. It’s his fault they became two, but it was his decision to bring Taehyung in.

Sometimes, he regrets it. But Taehyung’s saved his life more times than he’d ever like to admit. There’s other reasons too, but Jeongguk’s brain never does more than just kind of touch on them. Like with a tip of it’s finger, so quick it’s barely felt. 

“Fine, go,” Namjoon says, waving his fingers in the direction of the rest of the bunker. “Get some sleep. You haven’t all week, and we have to prepare for another raid starting tomorrow. A bigger nest right outside the city. We’re getting closer to finding our guy.”

This makes Taehyung’s smirk fall, his face hardening instantly. Jeongguk’s attention is brought back to him, but this time not because of all the jewelry though he still seems to shine. He always does. 

“Outside of the city?” Taehyung asks, eyes narrowing slightly. He crosses his arms over his chest, trying to appear at ease but he looks as if his jaw is about to snap. “This morning you said you’ve tracked him closer to the very heart of the city, hyung.”

Namjoon glances between them. Soon, Jeongguk thinks, Namjoon’s going to be the only twenty-six year old with a face full of wrinkles. “You know how hard he is to track, Taehyung. I’m trying my best.” 

Taehyung only grazes his eyes over Namjoon before he takes a step and walks off. 

It annoys Jeongguk enough that he follows after Taehyung, grabbing his shoulder and ripping him around when they’re far away enough from Namjoon. Taehyung’s defenses flare, his hands coming up to shove into Jeongguk’s chest.

“You said it yourself, Jimin is impossible to track down,” Jeongguk snaps under his breath so Namjoon won’t hear them arguing, even if he should be used to it by now. “You wanted to work with Namjoon because he’s the best at what he does. Your words. Don’t get pissy.”

Taehyung huffs out a sarcastic laugh at that, eyebrow arching. There’s blood matted in it, and Jeongguk has the urge to wipe it off. “Oh, are you telling me not to get pissy? You’re the one that’s aggravated because I killed more vampires than you tonight. Get over it, Jeon.”

The thing about Taehyung is he’s infuriating to the point where Jeongguk swears he can feel his blood boiling every time he interacts with him. “You just got lucky tonight, Taehyung.”

They’re competitive. It’s part of the thrill, the race to be the one with the highest body count after a raid. Jeongguk hates losing, but that’s not what he’s aggravated about.

Taehyung is right. He made a mistake. Namjoon made a mistake. Jeongguk hates that more than anything. He knew not to let his guard down, his gut instinct told them they weren’t done. But Taehyung distracted him, and Jeongguk let himself be distracted.

“And you hate it, don’t you?” Taehyung goes on, stepping into his space. “I’ve had less training, didn’t attend the fucking Academy , but I’m better than you.”

Jeongguk scoffs in amusement as he pushes his fingers to Taehyung’s chest to guide him back. “Whatever, Kim. My stats are ten times better than yours. Go check Namjoon’s charts if you need to refresh your memory.”

Despite the push, Taehyung doesn’t back off. He remains in Jeongguk’s space, expression hard. 

Tension always builds around them and does so very easily. The littlest of things can set the other off, and Jeongguk’s surprised Namjoon hasn’t kicked both of them out yet. Though he quite often forces them to separate like they’re two children being put into time out. 

“I don’t give a shit,” Taehyung seethes, though they both know he does. “Both you and hyung need to get your shit straight. Lately it seems like I’d be better off solo.”

Jeongguk snorts at that, crossing his arms because Taehyung’s refusal to move back keeps too little of space between them, and he has to try and at least get an inch between them. “You’d be dead within a day by yourself and you know it.”

Without a response, Taehyung continues to glare at him. Jeongguk hates that he’s wearing his tall boots today because it makes it so Taehyung is glaring down at him. 

“That’d make you happy, wouldn’t it? Get me out of your hair,” Taehyung finally breathes, and the words startle Jeongguk. He isn’t expecting it, a chill rushing down his back from the ice in Taehyung’s tone. “I’m starting to see why all your partners die on your watch.”

Jeongguk pushes into Taehyung, knocking him back. “Shut your mouth and go chase after your dead boyfriend some more. You don’t appreciate how much shit Namjoon and I have gotten ourselves in trying to help you.”

Taehyung doesn’t push back, doesn’t try to grab for Jeongguk as Jeongguk shoves him aside to leave the room. He doesn’t say anything at all, and Jeongguk slams his way through the bunker until he’s reached his section of it.

It’s so big and empty that Jeongguk’s gotten quite a large space to himself. They all do. It’s the one downside to bringing more hunters in, that he’ll lose it, but they need them.

It’s mostly empty, their furniture quite shitty because they’ve only stolen discarded items. Jeongguk has a few posters on the wall just to give him something to stare at when he locks himself into a funky headspace, and his shelves are littered with objects he’s collected over the years. 

His mattress is worn because of how old it is, but Namjoon’s stolen enough blankets for him to lay on to make up for it. The nightstand beside it has his glasses and the book he had been reading the night before still on it, perched right next to the only picture Jeongguk has of his parents.

His anger simmers a bit as he looks at them as he strips off his gear. 

They all have a reason to do this, more so than just hate though hate is the strongest motivator. Jeongguk’s been raised on that hatred, the sole purpose of his life to clean out the vampire population. They’re growing in number each day, and he feels as if he’s disappointing his parents. 

His parents are his other reason. The images of their death playing in his mind every time Jeongguk spots a vampire’s glowing amber eyes. It’s the reason he has no remorse, feels nothing but joy when they slump to the ground.

Namjoon’s purpose is his sister, and then his boyfriend who died shortly after they left the Academy because Jeongguk’s confidence in their ability had been incorrect. He thought they could take on a large nest of older vampires, just the two of them.

He had been wrong and barely made it out of there himself.

It wasn’t the first time, and Jeongguk’s aggravated that Taehyung thinks he could throw that back into his face just because he’s throwing a tantrum because his best friend is impossible to track. 

Taehyung’s reason is Jimin. Childhood best friend who disappeared. Taehyung spent weeks and weeks searching for him, scanning every inch of their hometown until Jimin came to him in the middle of the night with amber gold eyes to tell him to stop.

“Ugh, I’m not apologizing,” Jeongguk says to the photograph as he takes his weapon’s belt from his waist and drops it to his bed. He pouts his lips, glaring at his mother’s smiling face. “I won’t be the one to do it. He should apologize to me, Eomma.”

Jeongguk glares at them as he strips off his sweaty shirt before he groans. It’s been so long since they’ve passed away, but Jeongguk can still clearly remember the sounds of their voices. The way they scolded him and always encouraged him to apologize when he started fights with Namjoon. 

This is a dangerous life, and Jeongguk has experienced how quickly he can lose someone multiple times. Sudden attacks, disappearances. Him and Taehyung may fight, but Jeongguk always makes it a rule that they don’t go long without making amends.

Plus, it may just be Taehyung shit talking, but Jeongguk can’t let him leave. Taehyung is capable of taking care of himself, to survive, but Jeongguk wouldn’t be able to handle not knowing if he has or not. 

“Okay fine, fine. I will.”

Taehyung’s sector of the bunker isn’t far off. Close enough that Jeongguk can hear his music when he’s working out or studying, but far away that Jeongguk can’t currently hear the way he’s also talking to himself and the photograph he keeps in his nightstand. The one no one else is allowed to see.

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk calls as he enters, announcing himself. “We’re not supposed to go to bed angry.”

“I do every night.”

Jeongguk stills when he spots Taehyung coming out of his bedroom. He too has stripped off his gear, wearing nothing but an oversized shirt that shows off his long, bare legs. The jewelry never comes off, even when he sleeps. He’s still covered in it, and Jeongguk imagines it must be hard to sleep with that much metal in his face.

“At each other,” Jeongguk clarifies though he understands. He does too. Every night. 

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I hate your guts, Jeongguk. I’m not angry at you.”

Jeongguk nibbles on his bottom lip as Taehyung walks to him and peers at him. He very noticeably drops his eyes over Jeongguk’s bare chest before he focuses on his face.

Sometimes, the tension between them isn’t just fueled by anger or hatred. Jeongguk will admit that he finds Taehyung attractive, that he’s thought of him that way before. He doesn’t think anyone would blame him. He hasn’t had sex since the Academy, and Taehyung’s fucking hot.

But it’s nothing Jeongguk would ever act on, though he kind of wants to kiss the smirk from Taehyung’s lips just to get rid of it right now. Kind of wanted to during the raid as well. When adrenaline was coursing through him, he wanted to press Taehyung into the nearest surface and kiss him. 

“And I’m not angry because you killed more vamps,” Jeongguk says roughly, defensively. Taehyung snorts at him as he reaches up to adjust the hoop in his nose. “How did you know the alpha was behind you? I was looking right at you and didn’t see it.”

“I’m just that good, babes.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, turning on his heel to leave and tell his parents this was pointless, but Taehyung’s laugh stops him. 

“Come on, lighten up, man.” Taehyung holds out his hand, waving to Jeongguk’s right. “I saw a reflection in the television. Figured there was no glowing eyes there, must be the alpha.”

Smart. Jeongguk refuses to compliment him. “Alright.” 

“Looking at me distracted you that much?” Taehyung asks, eyebrows lifting a few times. He even pulls his bottom lip into his mouth as he gives him another once over, and Jeongguk wants to kiss him again.  

Jeongguk flicks him off, head shaking. “It’s all that damn silver you wear.”

Taehyung glances down at his own body before he fingers the hem of his shirt. “You haven’t even got to see all the silver beneath my clothes.”

Heat quickly rises to Jeongguk’s cheeks. He has seen it, at least the piercing in his belly button and one of his nipples. He doesn’t really want to know if there’s more because he’d probably never be able to stop thinking about it ever in his life.

“Goodnight, Kim.”

He turns then, ready to make a quick exit, but he isn’t fast enough to miss the, ‘Sweet dreams of me, Jeon!’ that Taehyung shouts after him. 

When Jeongguk was fourteen, he killed his first vampire. It had been terrifying to the point he soiled his pants, but the feeling after was like nothing he’s felt before. His parents had been proud of him, and he bragged to Namjoon about it for like a month before the opportunity rose for him to kill again, and he failed. 

It’s the only time he failed because it felt so bad, cost the life of his parents, that Jeongguk’s made sure it’s never happened again. Sometimes, they aren’t able to kill every vampire in a nest, but Jeongguk still takes it as a win if they get most of them.

“I was nineteen,” Taehyung says, grunting as he kicks into the punching bag in front of him. “Got ‘em with a silver bullet then tore the bitch’s head off.”

Jeongguk pants as he hops over the rope swinging beneath his feet. “Did you miss the heart?”

Taehyung laughs breathlessly as he switches feet and kicks with the other. “No. I never miss the heart.”

“Then decapitation was unnecessary,” Jeongguk tells him, wanting to roll his eyes at him and hoping it comes off in his tone. “Show off.”

“I was still a rookie,” Taehyung says, glaring at him before he jabs into the bag with his fists at a quick pace. “Wanted to make sure he was dead.”

Jeongguk knows the feeling. He swallows the lump in his throat, jumping faster because it calms him. The adrenaline, the racing heart, the sweat that pours off of him. Watching the way Taehyung’s body moves, face set in concentration as he punches into the bag. 

It all picks up a little more when Taehyung rests his back against it and slumps down, eyes focused on Jeongguk as he jumps rope. Sweat making his hair cling to his forehead, dripping down and shining across his neck. Clothes glued to his body and showing off the shape of it. 

“Not a rookie anymore,” Jeongguk says between each labored exhale. “But you still do that.”

Taehyung grins tiredly, head hanging to the side as he rests his forearms over his thighs. His shorts ride up, but Jeongguk doesn’t pay attention to it in fear of tripping over the rope. “Feels kinda sick, no? Saying that I enjoy it.”

Jeongguk falters, dropping the rope. He presses his hands to his hips, breathing hard. “Not sick, Taehyung. Vampires are volatile, inhuman. They get off on killing innocent people. You literally squashed a spider the other day with your foot. Did that feel sick?”

He can feel Taehyung’s eyes on him as he pads off towards the water fountain. 

“No. But if you think about it, they need to feed. That’s why they go anywhere near humans.” 

Jeongguk tries his best to glare at Taehyung while he drinks. He wipes at his mouth, aggravation filling him. “What? We don’t have to kill to eat, Taehyung. You know that. That’s the difference between us and them.”

Taehyung’s expression is unreadable. He looks away from Jeongguk for a long moment. “Well if you think about it, we do. Maybe you and I aren’t the ones doing it, but animals die for us to eat.”

“You’re just trying to convince yourself right now,” Jeongguk sighs, shaking his head. “It’s just going to drive you crazy if you continue it.”

With a long sigh, Taehyung nods. “I know. I didn’t sleep last night. I was just thinking about Jimin again.”

Part of Jeongguk feels bad. He’s never had a loved one become a vampire, he’s only had all of his loved ones killed by them. “Like you said when you came to us, Tae. He’s a monster now.”

Taehyung doesn’t want to find Jimin to have him back in his life, he wants to kill him. He claims it’s what Jimin would want, that Jimin’s always been the most gentle, kindest person he’s known and would hate who he’s become.

“I know,” Taehyung sighs like he’s tired. “I don’t know why I was thinking about it or what I’m trying to say. I think I’m just convincing myself that Jimin isn’t like that. Doesn’t hurt anyone.”

“A vegan vamp?” Jeongguk huffs, amused as he squats between Taehyung’s spread legs and rests his elbows to his knees. There’s a look in Taehyung’s eyes that he doesn’t like. “If he doesn’t hurt anyone, that means he’s starved himself.”

“Not true,” Namjoon says, voice floating through the gym as he walks into it, and Jeongguk’s suddenly aware of how close he was to grabbing Taehyung’s face between his hands. How close they are in general. “You know many clans have one or two humans that they keep in house to constantly feed from.”

Jeongguk slumps onto his butt between Taehyung’s legs, turning to face Namjoon. “Oh excuse me. I”ll put down my gun now that I know vampires are only kidnapping and holding humans hostage and torturing them for however long instead of just killing them.”

Taehyung chuckles under his breath as he leans forward and taps Jeongguk on the back of the head. It’s a better response than the one Namjoon gives him, who looks at him like he’s exhausted. 

A look that Jeongguk is quite used to getting from Namjoon.

“What I mean is,” Namjoon enunciates as he passes over the clipboard he holds, “Some humans willingly do this. Vampire venom is analgesic. Reports have compared it to morphine.”

On the clipboard is a layout. Jeongguk hates the way Taehyung scooches behind him, his chest blanketing his back, legs around his, to look at it with him, but Jeongguk doesn’t move away.

“Some even said it serves like an aphrodisiac,” Namjoon goes on, red tinting his cheeks. “It’s either numbing or pleasurable, and people chase that feeling. It’s not actually painful.”

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose at that. He would never, no matter how good it felt. He’d kill himself before he let a vampire ever sink his fangs into him.

“Yeah, but how often does that happen?” Jeongguk asks in disbelief. 

The layout is a house, each room labeled and highlighted. Jeongguk’s eyes immediately search for where Namjoon guesses the alpha to be, but there is no label. 

“It’s happening here,” Namjoon says as he sits across from him and taps the clipboard. “Kim Woobin has been missing for three months. Two days ago he was spotted just outside of the city. The witness said they seemed pale, out of it, and there were scars all over their neck. But they were definitely breathing.”

Jeongguk’s gut twists as he lifts the first page to take in Woobin’s picture. Namjoon is really good at what he does, thorough. He’s like a police detective with the amount of information he can come up with.

“Ah, hacking the police station again, eh hyung?” Taehyung chuckles from behind him. It’s unnecessary the way he hugs Jeongguk’s arm with his own to hold the clipboard too. He doesn’t even angle it to get a better look, just holds it. His other arm lays over Jungkook’s waist, his fingers resting over the high of his thigh. 

“Yes,” Namjoon says, very seriously despite the amusement in Taehyung’s tone. Work mode. “I’ve been watching this place before. So far, I’ve counted at least ten vampires.”

Jeongguk’s blood runs cold. “That’s too many.”

Namjoon shakes his head, holding his hand out with his fingers spread in a way that always means he’s about to explain something. “No, no. They don’t have an alpha, which means they aren’t united. They may not even be loyal to each other at all. They’re all young.”

Impatiently, Namjoon pulls the clipboard away from Jeongguk, and Taehyung’s hand drops to rest on Jeongguk’s other thigh so he’s touching both at the same time.

“See,” Namjoon says as he flips through a few pages and pulls out the one he’s looking for. “You remember, Taeyong? He sent me these reports. He said he’s been looking for one of the vampires that’s been spotted here. A vampire that’s barely five years old, Lee Minhyung.”

He flips to the next page, and Taehyung slowly moves his hand so it’s pressing against Jeongguk’s stomach. 

When Taehyung first moved in, Jeongguk was uncomfortable with how touchy he is. He doesn’t think he’s ever hugged Namjoon in his life. He tried once and got a firm handshake instead. But Taehyung has the habit of touching both of them like it’s second nature to him. That’s all this is.

The way Taehyung rubs his stomach, squeezes the inner part of his thigh. It’s absent minded. Habit. 

“And Kim Younghoon, changed seven years ago,” Namjoon goes on, pointing to another face. “And as you know -”

The words are barely out of his mouth, the page barely turned before both Jeongguk and Taehyung are grabbing for the clipboard.

Jeongguk’s never seen his face before, but from the way Taehyung sucks in a shaky breath, he knows it’s him.

The picture at the top is one of Jimin from school Jeongguk thinks by the sight of his uniform. He has a soft face, a smile so big that it pushes up into his cheeks and turns his eyes into crescents. His hair is black and covering most of his forehead, but in the second picture it’s blond and styled in a part.

He’s much older in the second one, but Jeongguk remembers he had died at the age of eighteen. He’s wearing a suit, hands deep in his pockets. The height and quality of the picture means it was captured by the CCTV.

“When was this?” Taehyung asks, the clipboard shaking from how hard he holds onto it. “Hyung? Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

Namjoon looks at him for a long moment. “It’s why he’s hard to track. He appears all over the city. I didn’t show you because I didn’t want to get your hopes up. Look at this one.”

Part of Jeongguk feels bad for Taehyung when Namjoon flips to the next page and takes in the picture of Jimin at night. Eyes glowing amber gold and hand clasped with someone else’s, probably his next meal.

“Jimin-ah,” Taehyung whispers so quietly, Jeongguk knows he isn’t supposed to hear it. He wants to slide out from between Taehyung’s legs when Taehyung brings the clipboard closer to him, but he feels that it would be too obvious. “Hyung, do you have another picture of this man?”

Taehyung points to the second man, the one holding Jimin’s hand. There’s a light in front of his face like he’s smoking, but his eyes don’t glow. Namjoon shakes his head, and Taehyung looks disappointed for a moment.

When he stands though and moves away from Jeongguk, there’s fire in his eyes. It’s a look Jeongguk knows well, the one thing that him and Taehyung have in common enough to make working beside him bearable.

“We can handle it,” Taehyung says with a firm nod. “Taeyong and his hunters aren’t far from the city. There’s ten of them. We’ll ask them to come in and fight alongside us.”

“They’re down to five,” Namjoon corrects quietly, and Jeongguk wants to glare at him but Taehyung doesn’t falter.

“That’s still five more that we don’t have,” Taehyung argues gently as he shakes his fingers anxiously through his hair and blows his cheeks out like a puffer fish when he exhales. “All three of us go in. I know -”

“No,” Namjoon says as he stands. “That’s against the rules. One of us must remain at the bunker.”

Taehyung glares at him, jaw working a mile a minute. “Fuck the rules. Who cares if someone isn’t here?” 

Namjoon gives him a look. They’ve gone over this a thousand times. Jeongguk stands just because he knows Taehyung well enough to see the slow progress of his anger. The way he starts to pace, the tightening of his fingers around the clipboard.

It doesn’t seem likely that Taehyung would ever put his hands on Namjoon, not even a shove, but it’s also something Jeongguk wouldn’t take risk in letting happen. 

“What if we all die and a vampire clan stumbles upon this place? We have information on almost every hunter commune in the country. Data on other hunters, past and present and future. Locations , Taehyung. Information on the Academy. All the files from the commune we grew up in.”

Taehyung bares his teeth, and Jeongguk thinks he’s going to argue even though he’s smart enough to know it should make sense. 

“And if two of us die,” Taehyung starts, holding out a hand to gesture between him and Jeongguk, “You’ll be able to stop a clan from coming in and doing just that?” 

It’s a low dig. Namjoon isn’t the best fighter, but he is good . He just isn’t as vicious as Jeongguk and Taehyung and prefers to be behind the scenes. 

One problem for caring about those you fight beside is it gets in the way. Namjoon and Jeongguk can argue at the wrong times, during raids, because Jeongguk would rather die than watch Namjoon do so, and Namjoon feels the same way.

They can’t fight together unless the risk is extremely low.

“Enough to destroy everything first,” Namjoon says. He’s the most level headed, the better one in a moment of panic. Jeongguk knows he’d do well on his own fine, but emotional aspects of being alone and without him would be a toll on Namjoon that could be too hard to fight. “I’m not arguing about it either. One of us stays, and that’s final. I’ll call Taeyong, but until then, read over my notes and study the layout. Memorize it, alright?”

It’s demanding, a tone Namjoon rarely ever uses with either of them, but Taehyung’s offended him. Jeongguk wants to point this out but Taehyung is pressing a hand to his face the moment Namjoon storms off.

For a second, Jeongguk panics thinking Taehyung is crying. As he just holds his face in his hand, unmoving. He isn’t insensitive, but he also doesn’t know what to do in this situation. He grabs a bottle of water because it’s the only thing he has to offer Taehyung if he is crying. 

But when Taehyung pulls his hand away, his face and eyes are dry. 

He kicks at the clipboard, sending it across the gym floor. “There’s no fucking proof there isn’t an alpha,” he grunts before he walks back to the punching bag and slams  his fist into it. 

When night comes, Jeongguk lays in bed and wonders if the day even happened. Doing the same thing over and over again has this effect, each night it feels like there was no time between now and the last time he got into bed.

It isn’t a day wasted. He trained, studied the next nest’s layout until he can see the image of it on his eyelids when he closes them. He made a new meal, some Italian dish, that his taste buds and Taehyung actually approved of, had an hour of studying with Namjoon that he almost fell asleep during.

He only thought about kissing Taehyung like ten times, and only caught himself staring at him like twelve times. Which isn’t his fault that he has no control over his eyes. He’s making progress though. 

But despite having a busy day, it makes Jeongguk wish for this to end, for them to be able to wipe out the vampires in Seoul and do something besides this. He loves it, the fighting and killing, but he wants a day where he can, he doesn’t even know, just go to the beach or an amusement park or something. 

Something to switch the days up. To make it so they don’t all blend together. 

Which is ironic, he thinks, as there’s a knock on his bedroom door a moment before Taehyung steps into his room. A something that never happens, but it isn’t quite what Jeongguk wants. It’ll heighten his thinking about kissing Taehyung count for the day. 

“Hey,” Taehyung whispers, even though Jeongguk’s light is on, and he’s clearly awake. He lays on the mounds of blankets, one arm propped behind his head and a book laid open on his stomach because he can’t focus enough to read it.

“Hi?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, lingering there for a moment before he knees onto the shitty mattress.

“What are you -”

“Shut up for a second,” Taehyung grunts, flopping onto his back beside him, head a few inches from Jeongguk’s stomach. He props his legs up, and once again his shorts ride down and show the entirety of his thighs. “I need to talk to you about something.”

It’s odd and unlike Taehyung. To be in his bed, to seek him out at night. To want to talk to him about anything.

“It’s important,” Taehyung goes on, glancing at him as he curls his arms beneath his head and adjusts his body like he’s trying to get comfortable.

Jeongguk puts the book aside and has the urge to turn on his side but it feels too intimate, they’ll be too close to each other. “Alright. But make it quick. I was busy.”

Taehyung snorts. “Sorry to interrupt your brooding at the wall,” he jokes, but it doesn’t have that punch in it that his tone usually does. “You know this raid, it’s gonna be you and I sent in. Namjoon will stay at the bunker.”

It’s the usual case, though there are times Namjoon goes into a fight. They switch off usually, but Taehyung and Jeongguk are the ones that get an adrenaline rush from it. The ones that want to be fighting instead of staying back.

Namjoon’s in a constant moral dilemma about it, even though he always decides to do as he’s been trained to. He’s the one that taught Jeongguk about natural selection and how hunters have adapted, that their goal is not only to survive the infestation of vampires but to put an end to it.

When Namjoon does a raid, he locks himself in his room for the next day without letting anyone else in and never talks about why. Jeongguk’s learned not to ask. 

“And well,” Taehyung says as he moves one hand to pick aimlessly at the wrinkles in his shirt, “I need you to do something for me.”

Jeongguk shifts around, feet nudging the blankets below them. “If it’s something reckless or stupid, the answer is no.”

Taehyung laughs, the sound of it breathy. “Everything you do is reckless and stupid.”

It’s true, and Jeongguk doesn’t deny it. He stays silent, waiting for Taehyung to get on with it so he can leave, though Jeongguk finds he doesn’t mind his presence too much. 

They spend all of their time together, mostly, except for when they go to bed. Jeongguk’s used to a larger commune, but he really only gets to see the same two people every day. They know each other well, more than Jeongguk would like. 

“It isn’t though,” Taehyung continues, eyes closing. The way he picks at his shirt makes it slowly rise up, revealing his stomach and the silver ball snug against his belly button. Jeongguk thinks about kissing it. “Well, I don’t know if it is. But I still need you to do it.”

“Get on with it, Tae,” Jeongguk says as he pushes out a knee to nudge Taehyung in the hip.

He doesn’t, not right away. Taehyung breathes in for a moment, his hand coming down to rub slowly at his bare stomach. When he finally speaks, his request is enough to get Jeongguk out of bed.

“You can’t kill Jimin.”

Jeongguk stands next to the bed, glaring down at Taehyung. “He’s a monster, Tae. Like you said -”

“I know,” Taehyung grunts as he sits up and rests his palms behind him. “But only I can kill him, got it? I will. It just - it has to be me, Jeongguk. I don’t care if you kill every single vampire in the nest, just not him, okay? This isn’t a competition.”

His voice softens at the end, the sound more like a plea than anything.

Jeongguk runs a hand across his face. “And if he kills you? Or puts you in a position to? Do I just let him do it? Or did you not think that far ahead?”

Taehyung glares at him as he watches Jeongguk pace around the room. He hates the thoughts that enter his brain now that he knows what Jimin looks like. The ones morphing into Jimin holding Taehyung by the back of the head, his fangs barred. Too close to the sensitive flesh of Taehyung’s neck.

“Then I’ll be too dead to care what you do to him,” Taehyung says with a shrug as he makes his face unreadable again. Blank, though Jeongguk can tell he’s upset by the look in his eyes. 

“I will shoot him right in the heart if he touches you,” Jeongguk declares. “I won’t hesitate, Tae. I need you by my side to get out of a vampire’s nest. I’m good, but I’m not the taking ten vampires on by myself kind of good. The last time I tried, I barely made it out of there.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes and drops them back to his stomach as he picks at his shirt again. A habit of his that Jeongguk’s noticed but doesn’t know what it means. “But you did. And that was what? Four years ago. You can manage it now, I’m sure of it. Plus, that’s not the point here. This isn’t a suicide mission here.”

It sounds like one to Jeongguk, and he hates it. “No? Then what is it?”

Taehyung falls back onto the bed as he props his legs up. He’s not just touchy with them, but with himself as well. Hands rubbing up and down his thighs as he tries to find the words. 

“I just - it has to be me, okay? I don’t - I know you think vampires are monsters, and I do too. But part of me thinks they don’t lose themselves completely. That Jimin won’t hurt me.”

Jeongguk laughs at that, he can’t help it, even if it makes Taehyung pissed off. “Right. So what are you going to do, have a special moment with him right before you cut off his head? He attacked you, Taehyung. That’s not your Jimin. Survival takes over. He won’t let you kill him.”

The point of the conversation is lost, Jeongguk thinks. There’s nothing wrong with Taehyung wanting to kill Jimin, to be the one to do it. But Jeongguk can’t stop the images from flooding his brain.

Of Taehyung getting his neck snapped, getting bitten, bleeding out. Dying in front of him.

Jeongguk loves the fight and the mission, but he can’t handle anymore of his partners dying. Not in front of him. Not Taehyung.

It’s part of the thought that Jeongguk won’t let himself touch. Namjoon and Taehyung dying. The fact that the reason he’s motivated to kill every vampire in a nest first isn’t just competition, but he wants them dead before they can even get near Taehyung. 

“Yes, he attacked me to tell me to stay away from him,” Taehyung grunts out, defensive. “He didn’t bite me. He didn’t even hurt me, really. Barely a few months old, a baby vamp. If he lost all of himself, he would have drained me. Even you can’t deny that.”

Jeongguk shakes his head, waving a dismissive hand at Taehyung. He can’t have that mindset, that there’s anything relatively human to these creatures. It’s one of the reasons Namjoon hates the fight. The only thing that allows him to tear down the nests are the revenge he seeks for his sister, the need to protect the innocent people in the city from having to go through the same thing.

Vampires are evil, demonic. There’s nothing human about them.

“I won’t kill him,” Jeongguk says, nostrils flaring in frustration. “But if you hesitate, I’m shooting him. And if he puts you in a position where I have to choose you or him, I’m choosing you.”

Taehyung has the audacity to smile at that, and it annoys Jeongguk more. “I knew you had a soft spot for me, Jeon.”

Jeongguk climbs back into the bed to flick Taehyung in the temple. “The only spot I have for you is filled with annoyance.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Taehyung says, eyes falling closed. “All this bullshit about needing me to help you escape, just admit you like having me around.”

“If you weren’t a good fighter, I would have kicked you out.”

With a soft coo, Taehyung touches over his heart. “Did you just admit I’m a good fighter? I’m touched, Gukkie.”

Jeongguk grunts and shoves Taehyung lightly. “Get out of my bed now.”

Taehyung shakes his head, eyes closing. “Your bed is more comfortable than mine.”

At that, Jeongguk doesn’t argue. They haven’t been able to get a proper bed for Taehyung yet. He sleeps on a couch that’s barely long enough for him. 

“You can’t go in there thinking he has any humanity left in him, Tae,” Jeongguk says quietly as he adjusts, trying to get comfortable with having someone else in his bed. It’s been a long time since he’s shared one with anyone. 

“I know,” Taehyung murmurs as he turns, giving Jeongguk his back. “But think of how hard it is knowing the person you love out there the most is a monster.”

Jeongguk stays quiet. He can’t imagine it. He doesn’t know what he’d do if the vampires that killed his parents turned them instead. How he would be able to look at them, if he’d even be able to kill them. 

Like himself, his parents were raised to hate vampires, to kill them. They’d want to die if they were turned. The thought that they’d do it themselves before Jeongguk even got the chance to doesn’t sit well with him either.

Jimin didn’t grow up like that, to Jeongguk’s knowledge. Taehyung had said he didn’t know vampires were more than just a scary myth before he saw Jimin with his own eyes. And Jimin was kind, good. The kind to climb into trees to save stray cats kind of person, according to Taehyung. Volunteered as a shopper for old people, donated all of his allowance to kids in need or something kind of kind. 

“If you fall asleep, don’t snore,” Jeongguk murmurs as he stretches to his nightstand to turn off the light. 

“I won’t sleep,” is all Taehyung says before they’re swallowed in darkness.

For the first time, Jeongguk isn’t excited about a raid. He doesn’t feel that same kind of powered up feeling. He’s nervous, a bit anxious. He won’t show it, but it’s there and slowly building inside of him.

He can’t let it. Nerves get in the way of things. He has to be his best self, so he breathes in through his nose as he listens to Namjoon speak and let’s anger take over.

It’s been two weeks since they’ve started planning. Taehyung and Jeongguk training, Namjoon gathering as much information as he possibly can about the nest and vampires inside of it. He’s done well, gathered eight out of ten names. 

They’ve come up with every possible scenario, surprise. They have more hunters going in with them than they normally do. Jeongguk should be the most confident going into this raid than any before, but he’s had a problem.

Everyday he thinks about Taehyung’s request, that memory accompanied with thoughts that haven’t happened. Ones Jeongguk’s afraid will.

He believes this isn’t just about killing Jimin, but a suicide mission. He doesn’t believe Taehyung wants to make it out alive.

For the first time going into a fight with Taehyung beside him, Jeongguk doesn’t believe he can rely on him not to fuck it all up. 

Jeongguk looks to Taehyung then amongst the other hunters that have come to help them. The determined look in his face, the way his eyes are glued to Namjoon like he’s taking in every word.

Most nights since they found Jimin, Taehyung’s slept in bed beside him. 

Jeongguk doesn’t know what to make of it, but he doesn’t argue with it because Taehyung’s at least been sleeping.

He’s talked to Namjoon about finding Taehyung a proper mattress. 

“There’s not an alpha,” Namjoon says, pacing between their small group. “That we know of. Be prepared in case there is.”

“And how are you so sure?” someone asks from Jeongguk’s right. There’s a murmuring of agreements that follow that has Jeongguk’s defenses rising quickly. 

He doesn’t like working with other hunters. They can get cocky, mess up his flow. And he hates it even more when someone questions Namjoon. But he too doesn’t understand why Namjoon is so sure there isn’t one. 

“These vampires aren’t playing it safe. They’ve been spotted too often, they go out without any kind of schedule,” Namjoon explains as he gestures towards a line of whiteboards with his notes scribbled messily on. “All except an alpha. If he’s hiding away in the nest, it suggests something is wrong with him.”

“Or he’s just better at going undetected,” Taeyong points out where he stands closer to Namjoon, his gun in his hands instead of strapped to his body like the rest of them. “Could be an ancient.”

“Yes,” Namjoon says, pointing to him. “Possibly. But we have insiders, informants. I trust them.”

Jeongguk grinds his teeth together and tries to resist the urge to fidget his feet across the floor. Namjoon’s been secretive about his informant, though it isn’t anything new. There’s been plenty of hunters who have risked themselves to get close to nests, to learn about different clans and their hierarchy.

They need to be appreciative of them, but Jeongguk doesn’t trust anyone other than Namjoon and Taehyung. They could be used as blood bags, getting off on the high from venom yet still working with other hunters as not to ruin their reputation or the reputation of their commune.

Jeongguk’s just as untrusting as he is stubborn. 

“And I trust you,” Taeyong says with a pointed look to his hunters. “Got it?”

Taehyung is quiet the entire time. Jeongguk hates how aware he is of him, but he needs to be. He’s trained to. His eyes dart constantly to him, and it isn’t because the light reflects off the silver covering him. 

He’s waiting for Taehyung to mention his condition, and his anxiety soars when Taehyung does.

“I have one thing to add,” Taehyung says as he takes a step in the middle, drawing attention to him. “No one kills the blond vampire. Jimin.”

There’s a rumble of murmuring as Taehyung looks to Namjoon, and Namjoon nods in response. Jeongguk isn’t surprised that Taehyung’s told him the same thing, though he is surprised Namjoon hasn’t discussed it with him. 

“Hunter or not, I will shoot you in the leg if you try,” Taehyung goes on, his tone casual. “I kill him. That’s the deal.”

The murmuring continues. No one says anything out right, so Jeongguk takes a step forward as Taehyung’s eyes fall to him. “You have my word.”

It’s stupid, dumb. It makes Jeongguk feel even more unsettled. He hates it, wants to punch Taehyung until he gets his senses together.

“You have our word,” Taeyong replies, looking again to his fellow hunters. “One of our men is in that nest as well. We ask for the same in return.”

Taehyung nods, though it is something he should discuss with Jeongguk first. But it’s a request they can’t deny while asking for the same thing. They have no loyalty to these hunters, but Jeongguk has to remind himself they’re all on the same side.

They’re all fueled with the desire, the same end goal. 

“He isn’t one of your men,” Jeongguk says, taking a step back in line. “He’s a monster now.”

The nest is in a secluded area. Hidden away by acres of untouched land. It makes it hard to sneak up on the house. Darkness makes it easier to hide, but sunlight is the one thing that they have to their advantage.

There’s natural selection, but there’s also balance in the world. Vampires might be more powerful than humans, but mother nature has still given humans an advantage. 

The sun doesn’t kill them, but it makes them weaker. It weakens their senses, their strength. 

Jeongguk just hates moving in broad daylight. It makes him feel exposed. The hair at the back of his neck stands up, and it’s not due to the way he can constantly feel Taehyung’s hot breath hitting against it. 

“Remember the deal,” Taehyung whispers as they move through the trees. “Jeongguk, I need you to promise me.”

At first, Jeongguk ignores him. He wants to tell Taehyung to shut the hell up in case anyone can hear him, but there’s a desperate edge to Taehyung’s tone that has him biting the words back. 

“Please.”

It’s vulnerable. Jeongguk’s never seen this side of Taehyung. He’s strong, witty, argumentative, cold. Never vulnerable.

Jeongguk nods, but it isn’t enough for him.

“Jeongguk.”

“Okay,” Jeongguk seethes as he reaches up to press a finger to Taehyung’s lips. He wants to kiss them. “I promise, now shut up.”

The anxiety won’t leave. It grows with every step they take to the house, to the point Jeongguk doesn’t trust the hold he has on his gun. This isn’t like him, and he’s annoyed by it. 

“Jeongguk. I need you -”

Jeongguk stops and grabs Taehyung by the chin, keeping his fingers gentle but he needs Taehyung to look at him. To focus on him. “Listen, Tae, I have a feeling you’re going into this with the thought you’re not coming back out.”

When Taehyung doesn’t respond, Jeongguk’s anxiety turns to anger.

“And I’m making sure you do,” Jeongguk breathes lowly, stroking his fingers over the place he gripped on Taehyung’s face just in case he did it harder than he meant to. “Alright? That’s the promise I’m keeping. You have one chance to kill Jimin, and that’s it. Shoot me in the leg if you want, I don’t give a shit.”

Taehyung still doesn’t respond, but he yanks his head back so Jeongguk’s no longer touching him. The fire is in his eyes again, the same kind of anger Jeongguk feels reflected in them. He shoves past Jeongguk, taking the lead though for a moment, Jeongguk has the wish to hit him in the back of the head just so he can’t go into the house.

It’s a feeling he can’t have. It’s the reason him and Namjoon can’t fight together. The want to protect yours rather than kill the enemy. He can’t have that thought with Taehyung. They fight well because they don’t have it, because they hate each other.

They work to protect each other, but survival has always made it because they have to but they still look out for their own being more. Jeongguk can’t care if something happens to Taehyung.

He’ll just be the one to shoot Taehyung in the leg if he falters when Jimin comes into view.

“Alright, now.”

Jeongguk forgot about the pod snug in his ear until Namjoon’s voice sounds through it. He hesitates for a moment before he quickens his pace, pushing past Taehyung to reach the house first.

There’s nothing. Quiet and unmoving like the moment before a storm hits. There’s no interception before the house, though Jeongguk braces for it. The land around the house is wide open, but at the peak of sunlight, the vampires should have their curtains closed.

But now they’re close enough to be heard, for their scent to touch the noses of the vampires inside.

It isn’t likely for vampires to rely on weapons, to have a sniper in the window or something, but anything is a possibility.

Jeongguk’s anxiety is so high he feels sick. He has to put extra focus into the hold on his gun, to make sure it doesn’t shake in his grip. 

“Remember your positions,” Namjoon says, his voice level because he always is. He’s good at it, and it soothes Jeongguk. Not fully, but enough. “Youngho’s team through the back. Taeyong the side entrance. Jeongguk and Taehyung in the front.”

It had been Taehyung who wanted to go through the front doors. Jeongguk didn’t think it was a good idea, but Taehyung had that look in his eye that told him he would regardless of the plan.

Jeongguk shoots when he’s in the distance of the door, his bullet smashing right into the door knob. His hips are weighed down by extra bullets, but they’re still hard to come by. They can’t be fruitless with them. 

“Going in,” Jeongguk says as he runs up the front steps and kicks into the front door.

It’s chaos.

There’s an echo of noise in the pod in Jeongguk’s ear, comments from the other hunters. Screams. The sound of guns going off in every direction.

Jeongguk’s heart races so hard against his eardrums that he barely hears them. 

He reminds himself to focus, to not be so aware of Taehyung behind him. Instinct, training, he tells himself to focus as the door swings open.

Gunfire sounds through the air, loud around them and distant from the other end of the house. Jeongguk only looks at the figure before him, takes in the fact it isn’t Jimin, and fucking shoots.

Taehyung shoots behind him, and Jeongguk doesn’t look to see where he aims as he makes haste through the house. The layout is ingrained to his brain like it’s his own home, but it’s massive compared to what he imagined. 

They have no idea of the furnishings, the places to hide. Jeongguk takes every one in, spots movement, and nearly shoots before he realizes it’s a dog.

The dog takes off, and he hears Taehyung cuss behind him. “Living room cleared.”

“Remember, there is a human in there,” Namjoon says in his ear. “Be careful.”

It’s risky. They know most of the faces of the people inside, but not all of them. They only have seconds, and none to spare to make sure if someone’s eyes are normal because they’re human and they’re not just hiding them. 

Jeongguk slows his steps as he nudges open a swinging door, eyes darting over every inch as he takes in the kitchen. It’s wide open, no place to hide but the pantry. He shoots through the door, uncaring if Jimin is hiding inside of it.

He realizes then, he doesn’t give a fuck about his promise to Taehyung. The most Taehyung will do is get angry, maybe leave their bunker. Jeongguk doesn’t give a shit if he does, because at least he’ll be alive.

If he gets angry enough to do that, Namjoon will convince him to stay. Namjoon’s good at showing people what’s rational.

“Kitchen clear,” Taehyung says, his back pressing into Jeongguk’s as he steps further in.

Even without focusing on him, Jeongguk can read him. Is aware of him, knows when he takes another step forward that Taehyung isn’t following.

He whips around, gun at the ready, and falters when he watches the familiar vampire step into the room.

His eyes are blazing gold, hair still blond and perfectly parted. There’s a smug grin on his lips that makes distaste fill Jeongguk until it feels as if he may become sick.

His heart pounds so hard he feels he could pass out from it.

“My Taehyungie,” Jimin greets. There’s a gun in his hand, one he twirls around his pointer finger.

Taehyung’s back is rigid, but his gun is still raised. It doesn’t falter. Jeongguk has the urge to push him aside. 

“Kitchen -” Jeongguk starts, a warning in his tone but Jimin lifts the gun and points it directly at him.

“Uh uh,” Jimin tuts, his grin growing. “Don’t speak a word.” 

Taehyung presses back against him. His gun may have not faltered, but Jeongguk doesn’t trust the waver in his voice. “Jeongguk, gun down.”

Jeongguk ignores the request. “Fuck you, Kim.”

It seems impossible, but Jimin’s smile grows. It reminds Jeongguk of the first picture he saw of him, how soft he looks when his cheeks bunch up and his eyes close enough to show off the wrinkles at the corners. He even laughs, huffed out giggles leaving his lips as his shoulders shake with it.

“Gonna shoot me?” Jimin asks as he cocks the gun towards Jeongguk. “Let me guess, silver bullets inside those little things?”

Taehyung presses back against him again. He doesn’t say a word. Jeongguk worries that he doesn’t say a word.

He wishes he could be a telepath and tell Taehyung not to falter. To remind him this isn’t Jimin, because he’s worried that’s what’s in Taehyung’s head right now. That Taehyung will break because that’s Jimin’s face, his body, his voice. 

“Yes,” Taehyung seethes as he clicks the trigger. 

Jimin laughs as he snaps the fingers of his free hand. Jeongguk doesn’t know what he’s done, but he knows the power vampires have. The ability to move things with their mind. It could be anything. 

“I think we should chat first,” Jimin says, aiming the gun towards Taehyung but it’s too far to the right, would send a bullet over his shoulder. “I’ve missed you so much, Tae Tae.”

“It’s not him,” Jeongguk breathes, aiming the gun over Taehyung’s shoulder. “If you don’t shoot him, I’ll -”

The sound of Taehyung’s gun going off has Jeongguk’s finger pressing down against the trigger before he can register exactly who shoots. Adrenaline pulses through him, his heart spiking in pace as Jimin disappears.

Jeongguk whips around, finding Jimin behind him. His amused expression only serves to piss Jeongguk off more.

But he focuses on one thing. Taehyung didn’t falter. He missed his chance, but Jeongguk considers he trusts him enough to offer a second. 

“But it is me,” Jimin says with a shrug of his shoulder. “Can’t you see, Tae? You look more unfamiliar than I do. All grown up now, big and broad. I haven’t changed at all.”

“Jimin,” Taehyung says weakly, and Jeongguk wants to turn to cover Taehyung’s back, but he can’t move.

His finger rubs over the trigger, his mind a mantra of breaking his promise to Taehyung because he has another one to keep. A more important one.

Get Taehyung out of here. Alive.

It’s this moment, the tension of it all, that has Jeongguk realize that there’s nothing more important than that. Even if he has to die himself.

They say the moments before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. Jeongguk’s doesn’t, it’s just the realization that hits him hard. Like a bullet to the chest. Something that’s been brewing in his mind for some time, but Jeongguk’s been able to ignore it. He can’t now.

He shoots.

Jimin’s body jerks back from the impact. Shoulder yanking back. But he doesn’t fall. He doesn’t crumble.

“Jeongguk,” Taehyung yells, elbowing him hard in the arm. “Stupid fuck.”

Jimin’s laugh fills the room. Jeongguk missed his heart. For the first time since him and Namjoon have gone out on their own, he’s missed his target.

Jeongguk doesn’t trust his hands. They’re shaking. He can’t stop it. He’s always been composed during these things, but something is rising up inside of him that he can’t fight off.

“Ouch,” Jimin says as he rolls his shoulder. “You missed. I know you’re not an amateur, Jeon Jeongguk. Though stupid is correct. Most of the vampires here want you dead.”

This entire time, Jeongguk’s been worried about Taehyung faltering, but it’s him that does. There’s shouts in the pod in his ear. The doors to the kitchen rattling but remaining closed.

Jeongguk can’t pay attention to any of them.

“Jeongguk, leave,” Taehyung whispers, pleads as he tries to push Jeongguk aside. 

They could fight about it, wrestle each other back. It isn’t about kill count this time. Though it’s always been about survival, Jeongguk’s never been this desperate for it. Desperate for someone else’s. 

Jimin is one vampire. A young one. Jeongguk’s taken on more than that by himself. Jimin’s also the face that Taehyung talks to every night before he goes to bed.

“Not going anywhere without you,” Jeongguk declares, shooting again.

For a young vampire, Jimin is fast. Jeongguk whips around, finding him again. Jimin slips his own gun into his waistband, sighing loudly. Annoyance touches his features.

“Please do leave,” Jimin says as if he’s tired. “It’s been six years since I’ve seen my Taehyungie. I’d like some alone time with him.”

“Stop calling me that,” Taehyung grunts as he successfully shoves Jeongguk aside. He doesn’t stop moving, walking forward until the gun is pressed against Jimin’s heart. “Don’t call me that.”

“I’m your Jimin-ah,” Jimin murmurs, and it isn’t teasing in his voice. It’s soft, a plea. It makes Jeongguk panic, his desperation for Taehyung to not listen to it filling him.

“Kitchen not clear,” Jeongguk snaps as he flings a hand up to press against the pod in his ear. “This is Jeo -”

Pain erupts up in his hand, the feeling so sudden Jeongguk drops his gun. It ricochets up into his arm, all the way to his shoulder, and Jeongguk hates the feeling of being weak. That Jimin can get shot in the chest and barely move, but Jeongguk’s falling to his knees as he grabs for his hand.

The bones protrude out of his wrist, and Jeongguk fights off the pain making his nausea worse as he grabs the second gun from his waistband.

It’s his dominant hand. Jeongguk’s practiced enough to feel confident with the sole use of his weaker hand, but not enough. 

“Don’t touch him,” Taehyung seethes as Jeongguk struggles to straighten. The pain is constant, and he hates that his arm hangs limply by his side, that a sound leaves his lips that betrays his attempt at not showing pain. “Don’t fucking touch him.”

Jimin tilts his chin up as he reaches up and cups Taehyung’s face. Taehyung visibly tenses, body going rock still as Jimin strokes over his cheek.

“I missed you so much, Tae, but you shouldn’t have come here. Your mate isn’t going to make it out alive if I unlock those doors.”

It sounds genuine, emotion filling his voice.

It’s just one vampire. That’s all Jimin is. One vampire.

“Six down. Jeon, Kim, location.”

Jeongguk bites hard on his bottom lip as the kitchen door rattles once more. Six down. He should be happy about that. Namjoon was right, they’re probably young. Without an alpha there’s no guidance, no structure. 

He can’t use one of his hands enough to press the pod in his ear, and he refuses to move his gun to do it.

“I’ve been keeping an eye on you,” Jimin whispers, hand slipping down to the side of Taehyung’s neck. “Keeping you safe.”

It’s his second chance. Taehyung doesn’t shoot, doesn’t move at all.

Jeongguk does. He steps forward, pushing the side of Taehyung’s head to move him aside. He shoots, and he shoots again but there’s a reason they can’t track Jimin well. He’s fast.

Rage takes over him. Panic. It’s the wrong thing to have at a time like this. He’s only vaguely aware of the doors bursting open, can’t differentiate the sound from his gun going off. 

He’s knocked off his feet, pain bursting in Jeongguk’s head as it hits the ground. It makes him dizzy. The sound of screaming muffled in his ears. He fights it off. He forces himself to. 

There’s sharp nails digging into his back. Jeongguk hooks his elbow back as hard as he can, the contents of his stomach threatening to push up into his throat. 

“Don’t touch him, don’t touch him,” Taehyung pleads softly, and Jeongguk can’t differentiate if he’s speaking quietly or loudly. “Please, Jimin-ah. Don’t hurt him. Whatever you want. Please just don’t hurt him.”

There’s a sound of a gunshot again. The fear that spikes through Jeongguk feels as if the bullet has hit him, but there’s no pain. The grunt of pain is from the thing above him.

“Get the fuck off of him,” Jimin snaps, and the pressure against Jeongguk’s back releases.

Jeongguk likes the adrenaline rush, but that’s not what this is. This is fear. He forces himself up, unable to take in his surroundings. His head swarms, he can’t breathe. The way he hit the ground made him bite his tongue, his mouth filling quickly with blood.

It’s never been like this in a fight. He’s never fucked up this badly against one little vampire.

He can’t focus on the sight of Jimin’s arm secured around the back of Taehyung’s neck. Taehyung’s gun on the ground. The presence of someone else in the room. He’s down a hand and his tongue throbs. 

Eyes blurry. Breath coming out harsh. Jeongguk forces himself to get past all of it. He tries. He tries, and tries, and tries.

“Fuck you, Park.”

It’s an unfamiliar voice, a snarl. Jeongguk searches for his gun, fingers making contact with it when the air around him shifts.

It’s a nightmare he’s had. He’s tried not to let himself remember it.

He’s tried not to focus on it. Telling himself it comes with this life. Something happening to Taehyung. To Namjoon. He’s tried to prepare himself for it but never could. 

A fear. A thought. One he told himself won’t happen because they’re the strongest hunters around. Him and Taehyung, the best hunters in the country. Unstoppable. 

He should have knocked Taehyung out on their way here. Left him in the woods and retrieved him when they were done and kissed him like he’s wanted to a thousand times. 

It’s slow. Jeongguk always thought that to be a myth. Something that only happens to build effect in movies or stories. But it happens. Time stills around him as the person who had been on his back moves.

As they shove Taehyung from Jimin’s arms. 

As Taehyung falls to the ground. 

Something leaves Jeongguk’s lips. A yell, a word he won’t remember later on. The only thing he won’t remember because the rest will stay in his mind.

The sound of Taehyung’s body hitting the ground. The feral scream Jimin let’s out. The sick, twisted sound of Taehyung’s throat being ripped open. 

The sight of it. The vampire on him. The blood that seeps from Taehyung’s neck. His eyes still open, staring up at the ceiling. Just like he does every night in Jeongguk’s bed. 

It’s adrenaline. Jeongguk’s read about it. Survival mode. How he can fight off the pain inside of him and just fucking move. His gun lifting. He doesn’t even register how often he shoots, doesn’t care that silver bullets are hard to come by.

All he has in his mind is Taehyung.

He shoots, and he shoots. 

He shoots until he can barely see. Tears filling his eyes as he watches the vampire’s body jerk. He keeps shooting even when the vampire remains unmoving. 

Silver bullets are expensive, hard to come by. Jeongguk doesn’t care. 

They say you see red when you’re angry, but Jeongguk can barely see at all. Can barely see the way Jimin lifts Taehyung into his arms and disappears. 

Jeongguk falls to the ground, knees hitting it hard. He doesn’t register the pain because it’s nothing like the one in his chest. It’s consuming, stops his brain from working. His senses from working. 

There is a yell of his name in his ear, but he can’t even respond to Namjoon’s panicked shouts. The doors burst down, but Jeongguk can’t move. 

“Jeon, Jeon. We’re clear. Are you okay? Where’s Taehyung?” 

It’s Youngho. He grabs Jeongguk’s face, shakes him. Jeongguk can’t push him off. His mind isn’t working. Namjoon is still yelling in his ear, and it drags Jeongguk to.

The pain washes over him. Jeongguk must have been shot multiple times from how badly it hurts, but he doesn’t see any blood on his body. 

“He’s gone.”

Chapter Text

The thing about survival is it’s an instinct. The body and mind designed to do so. Even those who struggle with it overall have moments where they’re numb to whatever distress they’re dealing with. Short bouts of time that the body and mind try to protect itself. 

Moments where there’s no feeling, no intrusive thoughts. The body moving on autopilot. Maybe a few minutes, an hour, a day those thoughts and feelings are dormant.

No matter how long they’re gone, when they come back it feels like they’ve never left. 

For Jeongguk, it happens at night. His day busy enough that he can distract himself from focusing on the thing that’s causing him to punch harder, fight nastier. What’s caused him to attack their mission with a whole new vigor. But at night it comes crashing into his mind like waves. 

The images, the sound, the memory. He can go an entire day without thinking about it, but at night his mind refuses to let him think about anything else.

Jeongguk thinks about how vampires are associated with the night. Not only because it’s the time that’s best for them to walk around but because it’s when people are most vulnerable. Their senses down, their brains busy.

Jeongguk hasn’t been able to sleep. When he tries, he wakes up ice cold yet there’s sweat dripping down his body. 

The mind tries to protect itself by making his dreams slip away the moment his eyes fly open, but Jeongguk knows what they are. The ache in his chest every time he wakes up is enough for him to know he’s dreaming about Taehyung. 

“You’re going to hurt yourself. Jeongguk, bro, chill out.”

Ignoring Namjoon isn’t a survival skill but right now it feels it.

“Jeon Jeongguk, stop it. Stop.”

A body shoves into him, and Jeongguk is forced to stop slamming his fists into the hanging bag. He considers punching forward still, it’s what Namjoon gets for getting in his way.

But it’s Namjoon. Jeongguk only clenches his fist and grits his teeth to get the hint across.  

“Slow down,” Namjoon says slowly, hands coming down on Jeongguk’s shoulders. “We need to talk about this, Guk. You can’t suppress it.”

Jeongguk can barely breathe. He pants as he wipes a bandaged hand across his sweaty forward and pivots on his heel so he doesn’t have to look at Namjoon so close. His heart thrums in his ears and maybe that’s his body trying to protect him too, to drown out Namjoon’s lecture.

Because talking with Namjoon brings out feelings Jeongguk only let’s swallow him whole at night. 

“Not suppressing shit,” Jeongguk grunts as he snatches a water bottle from where he left it. “I’m cleaning out a nest tomorrow. Just preparing.”

He can feel Namjoon’s eyes boring down into his skull, but Jeongguk ignores it.

As much as he can, he’s been ignoring everything lately. The ache in his chest, the one in his body. The knowledge that Namjoon is right, and the fact that he’s wearing himself thin. 

“Punching them to death doesn’t work, Guk. You should stay back,” Namjoon says, his tone edging close to the one Jeongguk’s always hated coming from him. “I’ll go.”

Jeongguk gasps as he pulls the half empty bottle away to glare at Namjoon. “Hell no. Youngho’s messy.”

“So are you,” Namjoon replies, gently. “You ran into an infested motel last week without waiting for backup. Youngho may be messy, but he got you out of there.”

Ignoring him again, Jeongguk walks off. 

It’s just a flash, but it’s in his mind. The sight of Taehyung on the ground, bleeding out. His face replaced with Namjoon’s, switching between the two until Jeongguk smashes his fist into another bag to force it the fuck out.

It goes like that. The numbness lingering about and Jeongguk pushes through each day with the motivation that tomorrow he’ll take down more vampires, and even more the day after that. 

He’ll fucking wipe out every blood sucker in Seoul and move on to the next city. 

Jeongguk really isn’t sure about the passage of time. He feels like each day blurs by, unsure as to what day it ever is. Different hunters come and go, stick around a few months until they get on Jeongguk’s nerves and leave. 

Some stay, too many do. It’s probably a good thing, but each one has a fault that Jeongguk can’t ignore. Small things that aggravate him, that make him feel as if he’s partnered up with children who have never fought a day in their lives.

It’s unfair, Jeongguk knows. 

He’s stopped caring. 

“Fuck, man. You’re covered in blood. You can’t walk back like that.”

There used to be an adrenaline rush during a kill, a euphoric feeling when Jeongguk hit his mark. Now he doesn’t feel any gratification, it just fuels his anger. Kicks up his need to retaliation.

Taehyung once mentioned there could be something wrong with him for enjoying decapitation. The death of a vampire by his own hands in such a brutal manner. Jeongguk never agreed, though there is a sickness twisting up in his gut every time the blade sinks into flesh. 

Because he doesn’t stop, doesn’t stop swinging Taehyung’s blade even when the vampire lays in two pieces. 

Not until hands come down onto Jeongguk to pull him off and make him see the eyes are blank rather than gold.

“It’s night time. I’m fine,” Jeongguk grunts, breathing still labored as he scans through the room to make sure they haven’t missed anything. 

This was a hard one. They were unprepared, really. Should have come in with more than two hunters. It took at least six bullets to take out the alpha, who had gotten close enough to cut across Jeongguk’s cheek with his nail. 

Youngho shakes his head. He may be annoying but he’s the only one that backs off. Usually. “Namjoon will freak if he sees you like that. Plus, the smell will alert any other vampires around. Come on, I’m sure there’s something here.”

After a fight ends, Jeongguk feels gross. The sweat and blood caked to his skin, in his clothes. His hands aching from how tightly he’s held onto his weapons, knuckles bruised from his daily sessions in the gym. 

He locates the nearest bathroom to clean his face and hands, remaining on alert even though they’ve staked out this place enough to know they’ve killed every vampire inside.

They’ve gotten better. 

They’ll never be as good as they once were.

The water is cold and smells of rust, but it isn’t any different from the scarlet liquid that stains his skin. He scrubs it off, nails digging up his forearms to get every speckle off.

Youngho was right. He’s too bloody to walk through the streets of Seoul without raising alarm. 

He wipes his face and avoids looking into the cracked mirror above the sink. He physically can’t. The last time he tried, a stranger looked back at him.

Human, perhaps. But Jeongguk’s learned over the last year that being human and having humanity are two different things.

The cut on his face is deep. He’s surprised there’s bandaids behind the mirror, but he’s thankful. He is exhausted and does not want to deal with Namjoon seeing it.  

“Here, bruh,” Youngho shouts as he appears and tosses a balled up shirt at him. “Looks like it will fit.”

He doesn’t turn around when Jeongguk strips his damp shirt off. He doesn’t hide how his eyes linger across his bare skin.

It’s another thing Jeongguk ignores.

“How about you and I go out tonight? Get cleaned up and hit a bar or something. I’ve been going crazy locked up in that bunker.”

Jeongguk doesn’t even consider it as he pulls on the new shirt and shakes his head. He feels just as grimy wearing a vampire’s shirt as he did his blood. 

“Come on,” Youngho whines as he leans a shoulder into the door frame so Jeongguk can’t step out of the bathroom. “Just one night. You need to get out too.”

“I’m fine,” Jeongguk replies offhandedly as he pushes past him to get out. “Let’s go.”

“I’m fine,” Youngho mocks quietly but he follows him. “You’re not fine. You were moody when we first met but now it’s unbearable, Guk.” 

Jeongguk ignores him, stepping out into the hallway he takes out his gun again. Just in case. 

“It’s been a year, man,” Youngho goes on.

It’s similar to the feeling Jeongguk gets the moment a vampire steps into his line of sight. A rush of emotion inside of him that makes him swear he blacks out sometimes, but he refuses to acknowledge him.

It hits him, and he whips around, shoving the length of his gun beneath Youngho’s chin.

Youngho’s good, intelligent, vicious. He knows better than to make a move, but he also knows Jeongguk won’t hurt him. There’s only a flash of alarm in his eyes before his body relaxes.

“Don’t talk about it,” Jeongguk warns, pushing the metal into his throat. 

“You should,” Youngho says, refusing to back down. “I saw you after, remember? You were incoherent. I know it’s fucked you up.”

He gets on Jeongguk’s nerves.

So did Taehyung. 

Don’t touch him, please.

It echoes in Jeongguk’s mind, and he shoves Youngho back into the hallway wall to storm out of the nest. 

Jeongguk would take a thousand losses in the small, unofficial competition he had going on with Taehyung to have him as his partner again.

To have him alive.

“Guk, wait up,” Youngho calls after him as Jeongguk exits the building. “You really should talk about it with someone. I know you won’t talk to Namjoon about it.”

Jeongguk spits on the pavement. Normally Youngho doesn’t push, but clearly he’s gotten too comfortable. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“You’re fucked up after Taehyung’s death. I get it. Joon said you two were close.”

Anger fills him. He grits his teeth. He just needs to have a hot bath and knock out until the morning. 

“I lost my boyfriend two years ago. I lost someone during that raid too. My best friend.”

Jeongguk whips around, hand flying out towards Youngho. Not to hit him just to get him to shut up. “No. You lost Minhyung when he became a vampire, and you didn’t watch him die. And I hated Taehyung, alright? I’m not fucked up over it.”

All this bullshit about needing me to help you escape, just admit you like having me around.

He wishes he told him he did. He wishes he didn’t have to remember the sound of Taehyung’s voice, torn between never wanting to hear it in his mind again and terrified he’ll forget it. 

He wishes he had kissed Taehyung and worked harder to find him a bed. He should have given Taehyung his own. 

“Alright, alright. Whatever. I’ll drop it.”

Youngho’s hands fly up in surrender. Part of Jeongguk feels bad, knows he’s being unfair, but he’s asked Youngho and Namjoon both to stop bringing up Taehyung’s death. 

Especially Youngho, who has been fighting beside them since. Like a replacement. 

“Got a problem here boys?”

Ice rushes down Jeongguk’s spine, his body moving on instinct. Gun snug between his palms and at chest level before he even fully turns around.

It takes Youngho too long of a moment to catch up, a breathless and confused ‘what’ leaving his lips before Jeongguk feels him raise his gun behind him.

The face in front of him is one that Jeongguk lets himself think about. Let’s him get angry over. 

He doesn’t care about his promise, he shoots before the moment his gun is level with the vampire’s heart.

The thing about emotion is, it overpowers senses. Not just because of lack of sleep, but the thousand of angry synapses going off in his head.

It’s why Namjoon thinks he’s messy now when he never did before.

The gun flies from Jeongguk’s hand before he can shoot again. It had taken Jeongguk months to heal his broken wrist, the one that hadn’t even been physically touched to be shattered by Jimin. He anticipates the same kind of pain, expects it when Youngho grunts in pain beside him, but it doesn’t come. 

“Hey handsome, funny running into you here. Not surprised though. You love being places where people want to kill you.”

It’s been a year, and Jimin hasn’t changed at all. He smacks his lips together, raising a brow that seems to be questioning.

On the ground behind Jeongguk, Youngho struggles to his feet. 

“Real funny,” Jeongguk remarks as he grabs for his ankle, but the blade there flies from him before he can.

Jimin lets it clatter to the ground, unable to touch the silver blade. “Oh my god, can you stop trying to attack me? I’m merely saying hello.”

“You can rot in fucking hell,” Jeongguk snaps. He’s defenseless here, trapped. He doesn’t care.

Taehyung used to always call him reckless. The word seems like an understatement now.

“And I’m sure I will,” Jimin replies, unbothered as Youngho plants a warning hand to Jeongguk’s back. “Now don't you know it isn’t safe for two weaponless hunters to be so close to a nest? Especially you, Jeongguk.” 

Jeongguk spits towards Jimin’s feet when he takes a step closer. He can’t calm himself down, his hatred making his stomach ache. He still has Taehyung’s blade, but Jimin’s too quick, too far away. “We cleaned it out.”

Jimin tuts his tongue, foot tapping against the sidewalk. He peers over them, and Jeongguk calculates the space between him and the street he can escape on.

He doesn’t want to run, but he also hasn’t been working so hard over the last few months to have Jimin kill him instead of the other way around. Especially so easily. 

“Good,” Jimin finally says, head cocking to the side. “Hated this clan. Alpha’s a righteous controlling fucker. Hope you got him.”

They did, but Jeongguk doesn’t want to give Jimin that if he’ll enjoy it.

When the memories come to mind, Jeongguk tries to replace Taehyung’s face with Jimin’s. It helps him sleep, though he wouldn’t quite say it’s easier. He wants to see it now, Jimin on the ground. He’s desperate for it.

Don’t touch him, please.

“Fuck off then,” Youngho shouts over Jeongguk’s shoulder because there’s nothing they can do right now. Trapped.

Over the last year, Namjoon’s gotten as much information on Jimin as he can. Jimin’s powerful, way more powerful than such a younger vampire should be. Changed by someone ancient, is Jeongguk’s guess, but they can’t find the identity of his maker. 

There aren’t many ancient vampires left, though they’re very good at going under the radar. 

“I’m here to kill every little vamp in this clan,” Jimin says slowly, brown eyes sparkling because of the streetlights. “But you did my job for me. I offer my gratitude. I owe you one.”

When Jimin’s lips stretch back to reveal his smile, his fangs appear. 

“Then let us go,” Jeongguk says. He has never bargained with a vampire before, and it hurts his pride.

Jimin makes a face at that, one that looks like what Jeongguk said is ridiculous. “Of course I’m going to. Your Taehyung’s.”

It’s consuming. The rage that fills him as soon as the words leave Jimin’s lips. It takes him over, and he moves to surge forward, but Youngho’s twisting a hand in his shirt to keep him back before he even takes the first step. 

Jeongguk’s sure his body is soon going to collapse from how tense he’s become, and he’s surprised he has it in him to catch the gun that is suddenly flying back towards him.

But he does, and he moves quickly, but Jimin’s gone before Jeongguk can even adjust it to aim at him.

“My first day here, and that’s it? Introductions and going to bed?”

Jeongguk glances at the new hunter in his doorway. He isn’t too fond of the idea, of bringing in someone new, but they need it. 

Plus, this one’s hot and showed excellent skill and stamina.

“Yep,” Jeongguk says, turning back to the book leaning against his thighs. “See you in the morning, what was it again?”

The hunter gives him a cocky grin, eyebrow arching as his arms cross over his chest. He stays put despite Jeongguk’s blunt dismissal.

“You know my name,” the hunter says, eyes darting down the length of Jeongguk’s body. “Everyone does, though if you’d like to refer to me as Seoul’s number one bloodsucker demolisher, please feel free.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, but he fills with amusement. He has heard of him. Rumors circulating through the hunting community about the solo, vicious hunter. “Demolisher?”

The hunter presses his lips together like he’s amused himself too. “Mhm. Kim Taehyung, the Demolisher. I’ll come up with a nickname for you too.”

Jeongguk bites his cheek. “I’m good, thanks.”

Taehyung presses two fingers above his eyebrow in salute. “Call for me if you change your mind or, you know, if you want someone to share that massively big bed of yours with.”

It feels massive. Jeongguk’s never shared it with anyone but Taehyung. They weren’t intimate, and they only did for a few weeks, but Jeongguk wishes he had taken the chance earlier so the memory wouldn’t be so distant. So hard to retrieve it feels like he’s making it up.

It makes it hard to sleep sometimes, makes him feel restless in a place that’s been solely his since him and Namjoon first took over the bunker. 

The world feels a little on his side though, those nights when he paces through the dark hallways to find a light he’ll know will be on.

Mother Nature has a way with balance and she did well pairing Jeongguk and Namjoon together.

“Hey, can’t sleep?”

Namjoon’s bedroom is in disarray. Walls covered in notes and photographs, strings stretching from one thing to another that Namjoon can probably follow, but it’s all a bit too mad for Jeongguk. 

There’s a desk on one side that Namjoon currently sits at, his computer on as he watches through CCTV footage.

“Dumb question,” Namjoon laughs before Jeongguk can respond. “You can lay in my bed until you do.” 

Jeongguk eyes it. It’s newer than his because when they had gotten it, it was supposed to be for Taehyung, Jeongguk insisted Namjoon have it. Jokes about his age and bad back until Namjoon stopped fighting him on it and accepted. 

“Have you tracked any more of Jimin?”

Namjoon glances over the top of his glasses as he shakes his head. “No. He’s rouge. Like before, he’s all around. I can’t tie him to one location.”

Jeongguk nibbles on his lip before he falls into Namjoon’s bed. It’s definitely more comfortable, warmer, though something pokes into Jeongguk’s leg and he pulls a stray pencil from the sheets. 

“Vampires aren’t solo creatures, hyung,” Jeongguk reminds him as he tosses the pencil gently across the room. “He’s gotta be with someone.”

It is rare to find a vampire that is actually alone. They’re gregarious creatures. Even if they travel in small packs, they’re never alone.

Namjoon jerks when the pencil hits the ground, and Jeongguk wonders if he’s slept. If he’s shakier than usual. 

“The only person he’s been spotted with is that one guy from the CCTV footage who looks human to me,” Namjoon goes on, thrusting a hand over his shoulder though he doesn’t actually indicate anything on the wall.

Jeongguk just knows where it is, eyes immediately finding the footage of Jimin they’ve been able to acquire. 

“I’ve got everyone all over the country looking for him,” Namjoon assures, swiveling around in his chair to look at Jeongguk. “Don’t obsess over it anymore.”

“I’m not obsessed,” Jeongguk denies gruffly.

He hears Namjoon move, but he doesn’t pull his eyes away from the one picture of Jimin when he was still human. He thinks about what Taehyung would have looked like at that age. 

There are a lot of things he wonders about Taehyung. So many things he doesn’t know about him because they rarely ever talked about personal things. Just what fuels them to fight. 

Jeongguk thinks there have been times that Taehyung probably tried to talk to him about things. He’s refused to go into Taehyung’s bedroom since he died, though he finds himself thinking about the photograph Taehyung had kept hidden in his nightstand. The one he talks to like Jeongguk talks to his parents. 

“You’ve been like a mad scientist since the day you and Youngho crossed paths with him,” Namjoon says, exasperated. “Trust me. We’ll find him, and we’ll kill him. But you need to talk to me.”

Jeongguk side eyes Namjoon. “I have nothing to talk about.”

The bed dips as Namjoon sits on the edge of it. They aren’t the touchy type, and Namjoon hovers his hand out for a moment before deciding against it and settling it into his own lap instead.

“I’ve known you my whole life, Guk. You haven’t been right since Taehyung died.”

Jeongguk turns on his side, giving Namjoon his back as he hugs his arms up against his chest. “I’ve been fine. I’ve been training and fighting just like I always have.”

There’s silence in response. Namjoon isn’t the type to push something unless it has to do with a job. Jeongguk prays he won’t at least. 

“Alright,” Namjoon says, clapping his hand to the bed. “Okay. Just know I’m here.”

It’s exactly six months after Jeongguk’s run-in with Jimin that they locate his nest. His clan, a small one, in a tiny village miles into the countryside. 

There’s suspected to be five of them at the maximum. Jeongguk doesn’t care if there’s ten, if there’s fifteen and he dies. As long as he takes Jimin with him.

Suddenly, he understands the thoughts Taehyung had in his mind the day he died.

“Jeongguk, you’re staying back.”

“Fuck you,” Jeongguk snaps, glaring at Namjoon. “No way.”

Namjoon’s nostrils flare as his eyes dart from Jeongguk to the few other hunters that have joined them in that time.

He’s the leader, it’s disrespectful. But fuck Namjoon for that.

“You aren’t in the right head,” Namjoon says, finality in his tone. “You’re not going in. We barely have any information on this. We don’t know if there’s ancients, what kind of vampires there are. You wouldn’t let me plan more, to be confident going in, so you’re staying out.”

Jeongguk whips around as anger fills him. “Hyung, I’m the best goddamn hunter in the country. I can handle -“

“You’ll get yourself killed!” Namjoon shouts, his voice loud and ringing in the room. Everyone stills, even Jeongguk. Namjoon never yells. Jeongguk can count on one hand the times he has and would still have fingers left. “And I cannot handle that, alright? So I am selfishly ordering you to stay back. That’s an order.”

It hurts. 

Jeongguk hasn’t allowed himself to acknowledge and feel his hurt in almost two years, and this kills . The intense look in Namjoon’s eyes, the heavy way he breathes. How honest his words are.

How scary it is because he’s right, and Jeongguk knows well how he feels.

He still dreams about Namjoon dying like it’s a memory of his.

But pride and anger get in the way of letting him acknowledge it, it’s been his problem over the last two years. So Jeongguk merely holds Namjoon’s intense gaze and storms out of the room.

They’re in a bunker not far from the countryside where Jimin’s been tracked to. A bunker full of country hunters who have it easy, in Jeongguk’s opinion. Hunters who probably aren’t good at their jobs because Namjoon’s tracked multiple nests around the area. 

It’s common for city hunters to clash with the country ones, or maybe just the stereotype makes Jeongguk feel like the eyes that glance towards him are judgmental.

Maybe he’s just angry.

He’s pissed, actually. Terrified.

When Youngho chases after him, it’s hard not to slam him back. 

“Hey, take it easy on Namjoon, man. He cried when he found Jimin because he knew it was a death sentence for you.”

Guilt makes Jeongguk’s insides feel like they’re all twisted together. He tries to swallow it down, tries not to get upset thinking about it. They’ve gone through this a thousand times. They both know hunters don’t live long. They should be used to it by now.

“You wanna sneak out?” Jeongguk asks, hating that for a moment his voice betrays him. “Explore the town?”

Youngho’s entire face lights up, mischief screaming in his eyes as he lifts his hands and rubs them together. “Hell to the fucking yeah boy.”

“You’re going to overwork your arm,” Taehyung says as his hand comes down to rub at Jeongguk’s shoulder. “And then you’ll be useless to me.”

Hissing from the ache in his muscles, Jeongguk glares at Taehyung through the mirror in front of him. “I’m fine.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, ignoring him as he kneads at Jeongguk’s muscle. It hurts, but it feels good, though Jeongguk doesn’t want to admit it.

“It’ll be boring if you have an actual reason why you suck more than me,” Taehyung says lightly as he presses his thumb down hard and yanks a moan of pain from Jeongguk. “This is purely selfish.”

Jeongguk grunts, heat simmering in his belly as he tilts his head to the side and allows Taehyung to massage up the curve of his neck. “Just admit you’re just doing this as an excuse to touch me.”

In the mirror, Jeongguk watches as Taehyung’s lips tug up into a small smile. The way his tongue darts out to play with the metal ball beneath his bottom lip. His eyes are focused on his hands though, so Jeongguk allows himself to look. To take in every inch of his annoyingly handsome face.

“As an excuse to cause you pain, yeah,” Taehyung jokes though he never does. 

Not until now. 

It hasn’t been as easy to keep it down. The moments where the mind and body protect itself have become few. 

Namjoon’s yelling at him has only set him off. They’ve fought plenty of times before, but nothing like this. 

It wasn’t even a fight. Jeongguk’s just angry. 

It’s time. The time where his body can’t keep being numb anymore and the pain from the last two years hits him all at once. 

He sips at the sickly sweet alcoholic beverage he’s ordered. He hates it, and it’s so rare for him to drink, that a few sips have his head feeling heavy. 

It doesn’t do anything to calm how on edge he feels or to make dealing with Youngho any better, though it does make Jeongguk feel guilty.

That’s all he’s been feeling, in truth. Drowning in a guilt he won’t let himself focus on. Guilt for so many reasons. For giving Namjoon a hard time, for being annoyed by Youngho. For not saving Taehyung even though that was the promise he wanted to keep. 

For letting himself get emotional during a job when he knows better.

“You have my word, he’ll die,” Youngho says where he sits beside Jeongguk at the bar. It’s been so long since Jeongguk’s gone outside of the bunker other than to do a raid that he feels odd inside of the bar. “I’ll make sure of it, Guk.”

Jeongguk takes another long sip of his drink. “I want it to be by my hand.”

Youngho snorts as he turns to face him. “You say you hate Taehyung, but here you are on a revenge mission like Jimin killed your lover.”

Jeongguk glares at him. “It wasn’t like that.”

Rolling his eyes, Youngho mutters something into his drink that Jeongguk can’t hear. Something he doesn’t want to hear. 

The reason he wanted to get out is to clear his head. The bunker may be large, but he feels trapped with strangers. With Namjoon angry at him, Jeongguk is an avid avoider of his problems. He doesn’t want to talk about them right now with Youngho.

He looks around the bar as Youngho speaks about something, taking in the other patrons. Regular humans that go out. Small groups of friends probably in university. Things Jeongguk used to be interested in doing, wishes he had done with Taehyung. 

A couple in the corner, either too drunk to care if anyone sees them or just uncaring. A man with a woman on his lap, his lips gently trailing over her neck.

Jeongguk’s eyes linger as he takes another sip and thinks about Taehyung. He acknowledged his attraction to him, but never how often he thought about pressing their lips together. Always with a stupid excuse like getting him to shut up when there are so many other ways to do that.

He lets himself think about Taehyung right now without shoving any of the thoughts away. The way he looked when he fought, when he wore that annoying smirk of his. How touchy he was.

What he looked like laying on the ground.

Tension and alarm fill Jeongguk as the man’s lip secure themselves to the woman’s neck. Maybe he’s paranoid, maybe it’s the alcohol. He’s thought many times about kissing Taehyung’s neck like that, feeling the silver choker he wears against his tongue. Humans like that without their being any vicious intent behind it. 

But the only partner Jeongguk’s had since Taehyung that he trusts is his gut. 

Jeongguk flicks his hand out, getting Youngho’s attention. Subtlety, he jerks his head towards the couple and watches as Youngho’s eyes grow wide and alarmed.

“We should get back,” Youngho says, his voice level. “Bartender, can we pay out or tab please?”

Trying his best not to make it obvious, Jeongguk glances towards the couple. As the man pulls his head back and licks his lips. 

It’s too dark to see much, even with Jeongguk’s perfect eyesight, but years of training and a gut instinct that is never wrong has Jeongguk impatient to get out of the bar.

He would have preferred to go out alone, but with how quickly the vampire population is growing, it would have been an idiotic move.

Looking around, Jeongguk tries to take in the other patrons as Youngho pays out their tab. Tries to assess how many possible vampires are inside.

It would be reckless for a vampire to feed so openly in a place full of humans. They’ve always stayed under the radar. Even if they don’t think there’s hunters around, they’d die by the hand of their own kind for exposing them. 

And Jeongguk’s gut instinct is never wrong as he takes in a woman in the corner, the lights catching on her fangs.

Hindsight, the one thing both vampires and humans have that serve no evolutionary benefit.

Or maybe it does, life lessons and all. Teaches so more mistakes aren’t made.

Jeongguk thinks it’s only purpose is to make himself feel like a dumbass. 

“Leaving so soon?”

The hair stands up at the back of Jeongguk’s neck as he slips from the bar stool to face the man that’s come up behind him. Jeongguk’s armed, but not enough. His gun hidden beneath the ban of his pants, a blade strapped to his ankle. Not enough bullets to take more than a few vampires.

There’s about thirty patrons here. He can’t assess how many are human. 

“Not my scene,” Jeongguk says as Youngho slips down beside him. 

The man is thin, seemingly around the same age as them. That means nothing. Even the tiniest of vampires can be the strongest. Those who look twenty year olds but are older than the country. Vampires that look like teenagers who can pick up a grown man and throw them across the room. 

“Why don’t you stay?” the man asks, pushing into Jeongguk’s space to grab the bar and trap him against it so the gun digs into Jeongguk’s back. 

“Hey,” Youngho says as he presses a hand to the man’s chest to ease him back. Jeongguk watches the veins appear in Youngho’s arm from the strength he puts into it, but the man doesn’t move.

He’s breathing. Some vampires teach themselves to in order to blend in easier. Pretending to be human, and it’s an insult really. 

Jeongguk wanted to escape because he felt trapped in the bunker, but it’s nothing compared to this. Even if he tried to get his gun, he wouldn’t be able to move far enough away from the edge of the bar to do so. 

“You’re not from around here,” the man says, head tilting to the side. 

When his lips part, his tongue glides over the sharp point of his incisor. Jeongguk’s mind works a mile a minute on how he can get the blade in his ankle. It’ll be quick, plunge it right into the man’s chest without anyone seeing.

But the smell of it will attract the other vampires. If they haven’t already caught on from the rising speed of Jeongguk’s heart. 

“Good observation. If you’re trying to hit on me, you could be less creepy about it,” Jeongguk says as he moves forward. He’s thankful the man lets up enough for him to actually do so. 

Youngho gets the hint quickly, hand sliding to Jeongguk’s back as Jeongguk reaches up to touch the man’s throat. He’s strong enough that if he gets a good grip, he could break the vampire’s neck. 

“Are you looking for a taste?” Jeongguk whispers, disgust filling him as he leans in enough for the man to feel his breath against his mouth.

Delight fills the man’s face. Lips tugging up as Youngho’s hand touches over Jeongguk’s gun. Anticipation builds, joins his anger when the man reaches up and flicks Jeongguk’s neck. “I sure do.”

It has to be quick. A fight for survival that Jeongguk’s desperate for. 

“Willing to die for it?” Jeongguk asks, purring like he’s trying to seduce the man as Youngho tugs the gun out.

The metal barely touches Jeongguk’s palm when a hand comes around the man’s throat and yanks him back. There’s nothing gentle about it, and Jeongguk freezes when the first man is suddenly a foot in front of him.

Jeongguk can’t breathe as he takes in the face. One he knows, though the quality of CCTV has never been amazing. Jeongguk still knows it’s him, the man always seen with Jimin.

There’s a cigarette hanging from his lips, the cherry shining as he digs his fingers into the vampire’s neck and holds him back.

“Leave this one alone,” the man says as he pats the man’s Adam’s apple the moment there’s space between him and Jeongguk. “Get out of here, Jeon. Put your gun away unless you have enough bullets to take out forty vampires.”

The problem with emotion is it doesn’t always listen to survival instinct.

Jeongguk forgets about where he is, about the danger. Barely registers Youngho grabbing his arm to guide him out.

He steps into the man’s space, hands reaching out to shove him hard in the chest. He uses all of the strength inside of him. Years of anger coming out of his fingertips. Fuck nature, it makes him as strong as any vampire in the room. 

“Where is he?” Jeongguk growls, shoving the man again. “Jimin?”

Annoyance fills the man’s face as his cigarette falls from his lips. “I said get the hell out of here before I drag you out myself. And I’ll tell you, I won’t be gentle.”

It’s chaos in seconds.

A blur. 

They’re in a situation that they can’t escape from because Jeongguk had miscalculated how many vampires were inside the bar.

He can’t focus on any of it whips the gun up towards the man’s chest. The gun that doesn’t have enough bullets for forty vampires, and it wouldn’t matter anyway. He’ll dump them all into this one. 

A fist comes into Jeongguk’s jaw, and he doesn’t look as he turns. He shoots. It’s too close. Jeongguk doesn’t register the blood soaking into his clothes.

“He’s ours,” the man yells, arms reaching out to shove the next person to come close to Jeongguk. Standing next to him like they’re partners.

It makes him angrier.

They say you see red when you’re angry, but Jeongguk’s pretty sure he can’t see at all. Nothing. He can’t differentiate a single person as he fights for his life. 

Forgets about his actual partner, just the man who claims that he’s one of theirs.

It makes Jeongguk so angry he feels murderous, vile.

Something sick rising up in him as he tries to fight off as many vampires as he can as they come onto him in hoards.

There’s so many of them.

The second hit is in his spine. Jeongguk’s knees buckle. He has no time to catch his bearings before another blow comes. His temple. 

His ears ring.

He distantly hears Youngho shouting. The man with the cigarette yelling.

Pain explodes in his hand. In his cheek. It feels as if his calf is being ripped to pieces. 

The world turns around. Pain explodes in the back of his head.

Jeongguk can’t open one of his eyes.

Life doesn’t flash before them. Just Namjoon’s face.

Taehyung’s.

The picture of his parents because he’s lost every other memory of them.

A growl rips through the room. Jeongguk can’t focus on anything.

Surely this is it. He feels it.

Outnumbered, beaten down. 

God, it’s a sick way to go.

Seoul’s number one hunter, dead from walking into a vampire bar like an amateur.

“Get the fuck away from him. That’s an order.”

Jeongguk thinks a groan leaves his lips. His body pulses in pain, every inch of him. He can barely register the fact that no one is touching him anymore.

Weakly, he flicks one eye open. Everything is blurred. 

His face throbs. His stomach lurches. 

Someone is standing crouched over him. All he sees is thighs. 

He can’t lift his hand to push them off. He thinks his brain told his arm to move, but it doesn’t. 

“Baby doll, get the other one.”

A protest is on the tip of Jeongguk’s tongue when hands touch his face. They’re so gentle, but they hurt.

Jeongguk can’t feel his own heart.

“You fucking idiot. Your death wish is stressing me the fuck out. I only colored my hair blond because of the gray hair you fucking give me.”

It’s a familiar voice. Jeongguk forces his eyes open.

He thinks maybe he drank too much. Or maybe it’s brain damage. Either way, rage fills him because the last thing he ever wants to see before he dies is Jimin’s glowing amber eyes looking down at him. 

One thing that Jeongguk has thought to be a survival skill is people’s obsession with needing to know what happens in the afterlife. It provides a sense of comfort. Jeongguk gets it.

The unknowing. The disturbing fact of just no longer existing can be too much to handle.

Jeongguk’s never thought too much about it. He doesn’t care what happens after he dies. If there is one, he just hopes they’ll all be together again.

Namjoon’s constantly questioning it, coming up with different theories and contradicting each one. Frustrated sometimes when he tries to discuss it. 

He wonders what Namjoon would think about Jeongguk going to hell. About there being nothing in the afterlife but pain. But the memories, the people that haunt you.

“I can’t believe you were idiotic enough to go into a fucking vampire bar. Jeon Jeongguk, known for being the best hunter in the country is an actual moron.”

“Jimin-ah, give him some more blood.”

“No way in hell. We’ll have Hoseokie deal with him.”

Jeongguk groans weakly, eyes flicking open to spot a chin above him. He’s being carried.

Pain fills him when the owner of the chin looks down at him, and it’s fucking Jimin again. 

“If he dies, this was pointless.”

Jeongguk thinks he’s already dead.

The thought brings him more pain. Makes him think about Namjoon being alone.

How he’ll have to live in the afterlife with the constant reminder of that.

“If he dies, I’ll bring him back to life just to kill him myself.”

There’s a beeping noise. It’s frustrating. 

Everything around him is white.

For a moment, Jeongguk thinks maybe he went to Heaven.

Maybe Heaven is only associated with the color because it’s meant to be mean purity. With how blinding it is and painful on the eyes, it feels like it should be more of a Hell thing.

“Yes, I gave him blood. He needs it to survive, I’m not an actual doctor you know. With how badly he’s been hurt, not even I can save him without some help.”

It’s an unfamiliar voice. Jeongguk closes his eyes. He breathes in through his nose and is surprised the oxygen fills his lungs.

“No one is allowed in the room. Plus, no one will touch him. I doubt anyone here has that kind of death wish. You should be with alpha right now anyway. Go.”

Jeongguk groans low, but not from pain. He doesn’t feel any. 

It isn’t a relief, though. His thoughts are painful, but they don’t touch him physically. 

He can’t shut them off.

“He’s waking up now. Will you go? I doubt he wants to see your face.”

Everything is white, and it’s blinding. Jeongguk can open both eyes, though he has a distant memory of being unable to open his right.

“Hey there little buddy.”

Jeongguk can’t figure out the direction of the voice. He doesn’t look for it. He glares up at the shiny ceiling before he lets his eyes fall closed. 

“I heard you weren’t a friendly one,” the voice continues. A moment later, something is touching his cheek. Jeongguk jerks his head and a wave of nausea fills him. “I won’t hurt you. I’m a doctor, you see. Goes against my code of ethics. Also, I kind of have to save your life or I’ll die, and I don’t want to do that.”

There’s the sound of movement then as the touch from his cheek disappears. The voice speaks some more, but Jeongguk doesn’t listen to it.

He can feel his heart pumping weakly. Jeongguk wishes he paid attention more to Namjoon’s theories about the afterlife.

“Your vitals are good. You should be healed soon. I didn’t give you much blood.”

Jeongguk’s eyes fly open at that. He’s too numb to feel alarmed, but there are warning signs going off in his head. 

He tries to sit up, but he feels too weak. Or maybe there’s a line down in his nervous system, making it so the message from his brain can’t reach his body.

It all comes together slowly. The tubes in his arms, the bed he lays on. The beeping machine beside him.

The unfamiliar man moving around where he lays. The way his face brightens when he realizes Jeongguk’s eyes are open.

“Hey,” the man says. “Wakey wakey, my guy. No eggs and bakey, though I could cook some up if you wanted.”

It feels like a hospital room. The medical equipment surrounding him, but the man is dressed casually in sweats and a t-shirt with a comic character on it. He looks way too young to be a doctor.

“I’m Jung Hoseok,” the man introduces as he pushes up one of Jeongguk’s pant legs. “I’m a doctor. Kind of. Er. Well, I finished most of my medical school. Enough that you can trust me with this.”

Blankly, head swarming with confusion, Jeongguk watches as the doctor sits beside him and touches his leg with something that looks like tweezers.

There’s no pain, but Jeongguk watches as he pulls something sharp and small from his calf.

Jeongguk has no memory of how he got here. Where he is. How he got a glass shard in his leg.

“Took quite the beating,” the man continues, smiling sheepishly at him as he dumps the glass into something. “Barely recognized you. But you look good as new now.”

Jeongguk turns his head to the side, attempting to blink the haze from his eyes. But it’s in his mind, and he can’t focus enough to sort any of it out.

“Where?”

It doesn’t feel as if Jeongguk actually spoke. He can’t tell if he has, but the doctor perks up as he pulls another piece of glass from his leg.

“Doesn’t matter. You’re safe,” the doctor says. “No one will hurt you here. I can feel that you’re afraid, and you don’t need to be.”

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose. He isn’t afraid, he’s confused. “Namjoon.”

It sends an energy through him that has him attempting to sit again. 

Panicked, the man quickly stands up and eases his hands to Jeongguk’s chest to guide him back down. 

“No, none of that,” the man says hurriedly. He pets Jeongguk’s cheek again. “Just relax until the medicine wears off.”

Medicine? “What? You said. Blood.”

Is he really speaking? His voice seems distant. He doesn’t recognize the sound of it. But he must because his throat aches.

The doctor sighs, hands hovering over Jeongguk until he realizes he isn’t going to sit up again. “Yes. Vampire blood. It’s healing, as you know. You got a dose from the alpha. Strong stuff.”

The beeping from the monitor picks up in pace. The doctor cusses to himself. 

“Not a lot,” he exclaims as he quickly does something beside him. A moment later, there’s a strap coming around Jeongguk’s arm to keep him tied to the bed. “I promise. Just a teeny tiny bit. You’re really safe, please calm down.”

Panic fills Jeongguk as he takes in the leather strap. The realization of it leaks into his mind so slowly that he doesn’t fully know what’s happening until the doctor’s strapping down the second arm.

“Precaution, you see. I’m a bit afraid of you.” He laughs nervously. “Even half out of it, I’m sure you’re capable of killing me. Like I said, don’t want to die. I’m watching this really good show and yesterday, it ended with the main character getting into an accident. I have to know if they survive.”

Jeongguk pulls his arms against the straps. They’re right. “Let me out.”

“Hyung!” the doctor calls loudly, laughing nervously again. “Don’t leave me alone in here, please. He’s suffocating me!”

It’s all he feels. Panic. Jeongguk fights off the straps, but he can barely move his arms. Muscles straining makes him feel weak.

He’s been able to fight for hours at a time, but a little strain has him feeling defeated. Breathless. Worn out.

The door swings open, and Jeongguk barely registers the man with the cigarette before everything goes black again.

“Calm him down? How exactly? He’s a vampire hunter strapped down in the middle of a vampire nest, hyung. How does one calm someone down from that?”

“He’s too weak to hurt you. Don’t worry.”

“That does not make me feel better at all. You’re horrible with reassurances. He’s fucking strong, and I feel like I’m choking on his fucking fear. You know what people do when they’re that afraid, right?”

“Hoseok. He’s strong, but he’s not going to break those restraints.”

“It’s like a death cocktail. One ounce fear, two ounces of anger. Add an entire bottle of strength and skill and two decades of training. Mix in a shaker, and add to the fucking coupe glass that is Jeon Jeongguk.”

“Hobi, do you want me to make you a drink?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

The second time Jeongguk comes to, there’s pain. It’s a throb, more of an ache. It’s everywhere, but he feels it.

“I won’t let anyone hurt you, Seokie.”

“Yeah, alright. It’s Jeon fucking Jeongguk. He took out almost all of Choi’s clan by himself. He killed your father’s entire clan with only his partner. I don’t trust that.”

“Keep him strapped down. It’s fine.”

Jeongguk glares at the leather around his forearms before he turns his head. It takes him a second longer than he’d like to register the two men by the door.

The man with the cigarette and someone Jeongguk vaguely recognizes. 

“Let me fucking go,” Jeongguk seethes, yanking against the straps again.

The man with the cigarette looks unbothered, languidly coming up to Jeongguk’s side. “We saved your life. Be a little more grateful, kid.” 

Jeongguk wants to spit at him, but his mouth is too dry. “Where the hell am I?”

“Our house,” the man says, shifting his weight to one foot. “Our nest.”

The panic fills Jeongguk again. His heart hammering, the machine beeping faster. The man sighs like he’s annoyed by it before he touches the back of his hand to Jeongguk’s forehead. 

Jeongguk tries to bite him, and it makes the man laugh.

“Chill, bro. You’re safe here. I’d unstrap you, but unfortunately, I don’t trust you. You’re unarmed, but I know how hunters are. That doesn’t mean anything. The Jeon’s are fucking vicious.”

“What do you want with me?”

The man looks over him for a second, nibbling on his bottom lip. “Well, we have been looking for a new human. Not sure that suggestion has been approved by the rest of the clan yet, though. If we keep you is up to the alpha.”

Disgust fills Jeongguk as the other man whines in complaint behind the man. It comes back to him, the memory of the other pulling glass from his leg. The doctor. Jung Hoseok.

“Alpha will choose to keep him for sure, hyung. He’s been the talk from clan to clan. Jeon Jeongguk, the hunter with a death wish.”

Jeongguk puts his head back against the bed. There’s nothing he can do but wait and try to keep the bile from rising into his throat. To try and keep his heart rate down, to not let a vampire see he’s terrified.

He’s so scared. He hasn’t felt fear like this but once since he was young.

“You might as well kill me,” Jeongguk says, voice void of emotion. “Unless you mean to keep me strapped here. I’ll either kill you or myself if you don’t. I won’t be your blood bag.”

The cigarette man laughs. “We’ll see about that, hunter.”

It’s the worst when they leave him alone. Jeongguk doesn’t know how much time passes. The curtains are closed. He has no idea when it’s day or night.

The thoughts come to him like it’s night but they never leave, so it means nothing. 

He barely sleeps. He becomes hungry, but he ignores it even when the doctor notices and tries to feed him.

He won’t eat anything. He won’t speak even though the doctor tries to get him to.

When the catheter is removed, Jeongguk burns with shame. He’s handcuffed before being led to the bathroom, and Jeongguk knows they’re trying to break down his pride.

He hates that it works. 

Jeongguk can’t stop thinking about Namjoon. His last memory of him screaming about how he can’t lose him.

He’s numb. More so than he has been.

He doesn’t care if he dies, though he tries to make himself. For Namjoon’s sake.

“We’ve sent your friend home,” the doctor says as he enters the room. It feels like Jeongguk’s been here for a year. “Alive and well. He’s a bit of a bitch though. Bit my hand when I was trying to clean his wound.”

Jeongguk blinks up at the ceiling. He’s getting used to the white walls. 

“I hope you understand,” the doctor starts slowly as he peels back Jeongguk’s blanket to inspect his leg. “We had to tell him you died. Can’t have anyone come looking for you.”

Without a thought, Jeongguk yanks his leg up and smashes his foot into the doctor’s face as hard as he can. Jeongguk’s satisfied with the sound of bones breaking.

The man yelps as his hands fly up to his face, the blood already slipping down his nose. “What the hell, man! I’m trying to make sure there isn’t an infection.”

“My partner will kill you,” Jeongguk growls. He has zero remorse, and he feels joy in seeing the blood drip from the vampire’s nose. “He already knows where you are.”

The doctor looks offended as he wipes at his nose. “We figured with how close you’ve gotten. It’s not common for you and Namjoon to venture outside of Seoul. We brought you somewhere else. Which - well, I don’t know if I can tel you that, but you do not do well on a boat. That’s all I’m saying.”

Jeongguk grows aggravated. He should have expected that, but his heart is breaking. “How do you know so much about me?”

The friendly demeanor from the doctor is gone now. “If you want me to answer questions, how about an apology for trying to kick my nose off! Think your toe went up my nostril, and that’s nothing I’ve ever wanted to experience before. You haven’t showered since you’ve gotten here, this is disgusting.”

Jeongguk glares at him and doesn’t reply as the doctor stomps over to the table perched beside Jeongguk’s bed. He’s no longer bleeding, and Jeongguk’s annoyed. 

“Eat, would you? I will force feed you.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

The doctor mocks him, but it’s clear the way he pales. He doesn’t give up though, holding the container beneath Jeongguk’s nose like he’s trying to convince Jeongguk with the smell. 

“Eat it.”

Jeongguk presses his lips closed when the vampire twists a fork in the noodles and tries to shove it into his mouth.

“Stop being stubborn,” the doctor gasps as he places the container aside and uses one hand to force Jeongguk’s mouth open. “You want your strength to escape here, right? Let Hoseokie feed you.”

It could be a trap, just a way to get Jeongguk to eat. But he’s right.

He opens his mouth and takes in Hoseok’s face of relief as he guides the food in. 

Jeongguk spits it right back out. “Bring your alpha to me, and I’ll eat. Tell him to stop being a pussy and come out of hiding.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes. “That’s not something I’d ever call him. Strongest alpha I’ve ever met in truth. Though actually, vaginas are fucking strong and durable. I think what you mean to call him is like, a nutsack I guess. Kick a guy in the gnads, and you’ve fucking took him out, you know?”

Jeongguk glares at him. If it’s not bad enough that he’s strapped to a bed in a fucking vampire’s nest, he’s stuck with one that doesn’t shut the fuck up. 

Hoseok sighs. “Okay fine. I’ll tell him. Can you eat now, please?”

Quickly, Hoseok cleans up the spit out noodles from his lap and tries again.

“There’s five of you. That’s nothing for me to kill through,” Jeongguk tells him. “Sure you want me to build my energy?”

Hoseok doesn’t say anything for a moment as he watches Jeongguk take the food into his mouth.

This time, Jeongguk gives in and swallows it. 

It’s delicious. He’s bitter about it. It’s also his favorite Italian dish, and he doubts they’ve been able to get that much information on him.

A lucky guess. It’s annoying. It pisses him off. Reminds him of the one person he has been trying not to think of since he’s woken up. The person he tried to make it with because the first time he came to the bunker, he was convinced he had to eat garlic before a raid.

He used to eat it raw, every day, until Jeongguk started making him actual meals with it so he’d stop. 

“Yes,” Hoseok breathes as he twirls the fork again. “It’s my job to get you back to normal, and I’m a little desperate since it’s an order direct from the alpha.”

Jeongguk chews slower this time, mind working a mile a minute. “Why? Keep me healthy to feed from me?”

Hoseok makes a face, shrugging. “I mean. I’m sure he’ll want to. It’s instinct. Don’t let what hyung said worry you, though. Alpha won’t let anyone else feed from you. Yoongi’s just trying to piss you off.”

Nausea twists in his stomach again, making it difficult to take in another bite. Jeongguk huffs, his curiosity piqued.

He likes that vampires know him because of his reputation, but he’s uncomfortable not knowing which alpha’s nest he’s in. 

“How lucky for me,” Jeongguk replies sarcastically. “The alpha wants me all to himself.”

Time passes by slowly. Jeongguk feels stronger, but nothing compared to how he normally is. He feels average.

He’s bored.

He can’t stop thinking about Namjoon. About Taehyung.

He’s waiting for the day Jimin comes in. Just the sight of him will be all Jeongguk needs to break out of his restraints. He knows it. He’s been trying to wear them out by constantly pulling on them, but they aren’t giving. 

Part of him thinks it was just a dream that Jimin had been at the bar. His mind giving up on trying to save him and torture him instead by making him think that Jimin had saved him from dying. 

That part may be a dream, but he has to be here if the man he’s always seen with is. It has to be the same clan they’ve been tracking.

“The restraints are unnecessary.”

They’re tight around Jeongguk’s wrists, hands tied behind his back. The rope feels as if it goes all the way up to his elbows. Jeongguk’s breathing is labored because he may possibly have thrown a tantrum about seeing the alpha until Hoseok ran out with his tail between his legs.

The thought that he almost, almost feels bad for Hoseok is enough for Jeongguk to know he’s losing his mind and needs to get the fuck out. He’s desperate to, and he doesn’t care if it takes kissing the alpha’s toes to set him free or kill him. Either or, Jeongguk doesn’t care anymore.

“Not taking the chances,” the man says behind him. Yoongi’s his name, Jeongguk’s learned by how often Hoseok fills the quiet makeshift hospital room with his ramblings. “You want to see the alpha so badly, hunter? This is how you see him.”

Jeongguk is pushed roughly towards the door. His heart accelerates. This is the first time he’s gone anywhere other than the bathroom since he’s gotten here. He has no idea how long it’s been, and he doesn’t want to ask. 

Doesn’t want to live with the knowledge of how long it’s been that Namjoon’s been hurting.

“Surprised you didn’t tie my legs.”

Yoongi laughs under his breath as he pushes Jeongguk into the hallway. He stumbles, legs shaky and weak from minimal use. “Considered it. None of us wanted to carry you though.”

Jeongguk’s a bit thankful for it. He’d like to hold onto his pride for a little while longer, even if he’ll fall to his knees in front of the alpha and beg for release. 

“You’re not, are you?” Jeongguk grits out. The hallway is empty, but Jeongguk’s surprised to see the mural of cartoon characters painted on the walls, some half finished or only outlined. It doesn’t smell of fresh paint, though there are half empty bottles thrown about. “The alpha.”

Jeongguk might reconsider asking for death if it’s Yoongi. He has some dignity he would like to maintain. 

Yoongi laughs, shaking his head when Jeongguk looks over his shoulder at him. His eyes blaze amber gold.

Namjoon had been wrong about him being human. 

“You actually killed my clan,” Yoongi says as he moves Jeongguk through the hallway.

He tries to strain his ears, but it’s quiet. No one else seems to be around either, though Jeongguk knows that’s unlikely. Jimin’s been hard to track because he doesn’t seem to be the type to stay inside the nest all day, but he must be taking precaution now that he’s aware there’s hunters looking specifically for him. 

They truly can’t believe Namjoon would be the type to accept Jeongguk’s death and a relocation and give up. Not if they know so much about them, if they know Jeongguk’s been tracking Jimin for so long. 

“I ran away from them and they had a hunt out for me, so like,” Yoongi goes on, a hint of amusement in his tone, “Thanks.”

The hallway ends with a balcony. The house overall has that white shine to it, everything sparkling clean. Modern decor. The balcony overlooks a massive living room with three long couches forming a U shape. Jeongguk notes the glasses on the table between them, the red that pools at the very bottom of them. 

“You’re not welcome.”

The man laughs again as Jeongguk takes the first step down the staircase. He still doesn’t see anyone, not even Hoseok. “You’re a brat just like he said.”

Tension fills Jeongguk, but he tries not to show it. He hears the echo of footsteps, but it’s a vampire he hasn’t seen before. Tall and elegant looking, curious eyes on him, but he doesn’t say a word.

“You don’t know me.”

Yoongi doesn’t reply at first, his fingers pushing into Jeongguk’s head to lead him through the living room. The farther they move, the more Jeongguk hears. The sounds of voices, their words indistinguishable. 

“I don’t. Alpha does. Knows you quite well,” Yoongi says as he suddenly makes them stop. Jeongguk grits his teeth when Yoongi comes around to face him. 

The most words Jeongguk’s ever exchanged with a vampire have been witty statements before he killed them. Ones to make Taehyung laugh, if he’s being honest with himself.

“Can’t say I’ve ever had the pleasure of being friends with a blood sucker.”

Yoongi makes a face at that, eyes rolling into the back of his head. He’s slow in the way he pulls a blade from the strap at his belt to show it off to him. To show how sharp it is. “No, I wouldn’t imagine so. I guess you’re forgetting that vampires start off as human.”

Jeongguk falls still. He thinks his mind doesn’t fully process what’s being said, or it refuses to. They’ve lost many hunters over the years, but Jeongguk’s watched them die with his own eyes. He’s buried most of them.

Not all.

The few he hasn’t -

Jeongguk’s intelligent, but right now his mind won’t catch up. It’s there, but it’s like he can’t absorb it. Like having a word at the tip of your tongue and being unable to form it in your mind enough to speak it.

“He has a feeling you’ll kill him, so of course here I am, the sacrificial lamb coming in to make sure you’re strapped down right,” Yoongi goes on as he grabs Jeongguk’s tied hands again, and pushes him through an opening that leads into another room. 

“If it’s Jimin, you’re right.”

Jeongguk is shoved. As if Yoongi’s put all of the strength in his inhuman body to fly Jeongguk across the room.

The way his knees hit make them feel like the bones in them have exploded. With his hands behind his back, he can’t catch himself, face breaking into the ground.

Blood fills his mouth, and Jeongguk groans weakly from the impact.

“I wouldn’t let you,” Yoongi growls, and he’s being lifted by a fist in the back of his shirt, guided to be on his knees.

It’s ironic because Jeongguk said he’d get on them to ask the alpha, but he now feels the shame in it. The regret for wanting it. 

The blade is pressed to his throat, a warning. There was no need to show him how sharp it was, it immediately breaks his skin from just a gentle kiss of it against his neck. 

“He killed my best friend,” Jeongguk grunts as he tries to catch his bearings. He can feel other people around him, but his head is dizzy from the fall. “You wouldn’t be able to stop me.”

He expects another snide comment from Yoongi. Another defensive push because clearly him and Jimin have something going on to cause such a reaction. He kind of wants to goad the man into embracing his anger and taking it out on him just to get this all over with.

What he doesn’t expect is the growl that rips through the room. The one that makes Yoongi’s hands jerk away from him. 

Followed by the sound of another voice. One Jeongguk hasn’t heard while he’s here, but he knows it. 

A voice that Jeongguk’s been terrified to forget. 

“Best friend? See here, I was thinking you’ve hated me all these years, Jeon.”

Jeongguk keeps his eyes closed for a moment as his heart picks up the pace. As the words ricochet through his brain. 

It can’t be.

Something playing with Jeongguk’s mind. Lack of sleep making him crazy. Maybe his head hit the ground harder than he thought. Something. It has to be.

Jeongguk forces his eyes open. It takes a moment for everything to focus on what’s in front of him.

A pair of shiny, leather boots planted to the ground. 

It’s like that again, when Taehyung died. Time slowing around him, though Jeongguk’s vision is better now. Perfect. Even from the fall. 

Adrenaline taking over, heightening his senses as if he were the vampire here.

“Hey there, Jeon. Not looking so good.”

It’s been two years.

Jeongguk saw him die with his own eyes. 

But he’s right there in front of him.

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk wheezes out.

Taehyung cocks his head to the side, lips quirking up. He looks exactly how Jeongguk remembers him. Beautiful. “Indeed. It is I. Best friend.”

He blinks, and Jeongguk struggles to fight the contents of his stomach coming up into his mouth when Taehyung’s pupils swallow the irises and whites of his eyes until they’re completely black.

Chapter Text

“If you knew Jimin, you’d understand. He’s kind, gentle. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. I know everyone says that, but it’s true. I know if there’s any part of him left inside, he’s tortured by having to feed.”

“There’s nothing left of him inside,” Jeongguk reminds Taehyung. A bit cold, maybe, but Taehyung keeps making off hand comments like this and he needs to get it through his head.

When a human becomes a vampire, everything they once were is gone. Replaced with evil.

“I know,” Taehyung says, the corners of his mouth tight when he presses his lips together. “I know.”

“He’ll have the same face,” Jeongguk goes on. He kind of wants to pat Taehyung’s shoulder, comfort him or whatever. “But it won’t be him.”

It’s his face.

Jeongguk had been terrified to forget it, but in this moment, he wishes he had. To convince himself that it isn’t actually Taehyung sitting before him. To be able to believe his eyes are wrong, that Taehyung hasn’t become a monster.

But it’s him. His face, his voice, his body. 

The room seems to be a conference hall. Jeongguk’s only distantly aware of the fact other people are around them. He can’t focus on anything other than Taehyung’s at the head of the room.

And his eyes are completely black.

“If you touch him again, I’m kicking you the fuck out,” Taehyung says, eyes flicking over Jeongguk’s head. 

Jeongguk’s eyes blur, though he tries his best to blink it away. 

This can’t be happening.

It can’t be him.

It isn’t him, Jeongguk reminds himself. But he now knows how Taehyung felt, the difficulty of seeing a loved one as a monster.

It’s his Taehyung before him. It isn’t as easy to convince himself it isn’t as much as he’s tried to convince Taehyung the same thing about Jimin. It’s him, only his face piercings are gone.  

Jeongguk has dreamt about him every night and forced himself to pretend he hadn’t. He can’t pretend now that this isn’t happening, but he wants to. He so desperately wants to have this be a joke, a lie, a dream. Something other than reality.

“I’m sorry about Yoongi. Can you stand?” Taehyung asks as Jeongguk watches him take a step down from the chair. His hands slip into his pockets as he blinks and his eyes are back to the way Jeongguk remembers them. “Yoongi help him, please. And be more gentle, will you?” 

Yoongi grabs Jeongguk’s shirt again, a hand coming beneath his elbow to help him up. Jeongguk’s legs feel weaker than before.

“You’re -”

Jeongguk can’t speak. It feels like there is a tornado in his mind, creating a mass destruction of brain tissue. 

“Ah, yeah,” Taehyung says, walking around him. He keeps a small space between them. “Guess we should address that elephant in the room right away, hm?”

His eyes turn black again, and Jeongguk squeezes his own closed. 

It doesn’t make sense. The timeline doesn’t add up. No vampire becomes an alpha that quickly.

The thought makes Jeongguk’s stomach lurch again. 

Taehyung’s a vampire.

No, no, no, no, no .

“We were always enemies, but I guess this takes it up a level,” Taehyung says, that familiar amusement in his tone. “I was hoping you wouldn’t find out, but I’ve been keeping an eye on you and your vendetta against Jimin. You’ve been reckless, Gukkie.” 

Jeongguk moves his tongue around his mouth, trying to focus on something to settle his mind. Yoongi keeps a hand hovering over Jeongguk’s cuffed ones, and for good reason. The rage and upset that is filling Jeongguk is enough to make him feel as if he could break through the rope around his arms. 

“ My vendetta against Jimin?”

Taehyung takes a step closer to him, eyes darting over Jeongguk. His face, down his body. He pulls a black cloth from his pocket, and Jeongguk jerks his head back when Taehyung brings it to his face.

It’s too familiar, the way Taehyung dabs at something on Jeongguk’s cheek. He’s too close, and Jeongguk might get on his knees and beg him to take a step back. 

“Well, by the look on your face when you saw me, I’m sure you weren’t tracking him thinking I was still alive,” Taehyung murmurs as he pulls back the cloth.

And proceeds to bring it to his mouth.

A tightness in his throat feels as if Jeongguk might gag.

It feels worse than watching Taehyung die. 

It was never a possibility in Jeongguk’s head. He remembers the sound, the sight. As frantic as he had been, he remembers that much. How limp Taehyung’s body had been when Jimin took him into his arms before fleeing.

“No need to reply,” Taehyung says, and Jeongguk realizes he’s just wetting the cloth to return it back to Jeongguk’s face. “Or speak at all, though if you have questions, I’ll answer them. I’m assuming that’s why you asked to see me? Well, asked is a nice way to put it as everyone here heard you screaming at poor Hoseokie.”

Jeongguk tries to swallow, his breathing labored. He wants to kick Taehyung until he steps back. “And why has it been that you’ve taken so long? Had Yoongi and Hoseok tend to me instead.”

Pocketing the cloth, Taehyung brings a knuckle up to his chin to gently trail it across the length of his jaw. There’s a bulky black ring on it, and it’s the first time Jeongguk’s ever seen him without all of his silver.

The necklace around his throat and the bracelet around his wrist are gold. The rings tungsten. 

He doesn’t even have the scars on his face where his piercings once were. None of his scars. His skin is flawless, smooth, inhuman.

“Because I didn’t want to see the look on your face,” Taehyung tells him quietly, eyes darting to the right and focusing there for a moment. “Or see you restrained like this. I wasn’t sure if I was going to show you who I was at all.”

“Then undo them,” Jeongguk grunts as he steps forward just to have Yoongi grab him by the hands and yank him back again.

Taehyung rolls his eyes as he waves his fingers, and Yoongi lets him go. “I’m not an idiot, Jeon. I know you’ll try to kill me, and to be honest, the only way to get you to stop would be to kill you first. I’d prefer not to do that.”

Jeongguk glares at him. It’s always been easy to hit Taehyung with a comeback when they’ve bickered, but now he is struggling to find a response.

“What are you doing with me?” Jeongguk seethes, stepping back into Taehyung’s space. He hates how Taehyung still smells like himself. Something he didn’t even realize he knew or missed until this moment. 

Taehyung lifts a shoulder in a shrug as his lips push out into a pout. He doesn’t step back, even when Jeongguk gets closer. “With how you’ve been lately, you’ll be dead soon. Don’t want anyone else to kill you either.”

It’s an act. Taehyung’s always been the type to talk shit, but this is the biggest bullshit he’s ever spewed. A game to make Jeongguk believe it’s him in there, that he isn’t just a monster that’s planning to bleed him dry. A survival tactic because Taehyung is right, Jeongguk will kill him. 

“Just gonna keep me prisoner then, huh?” Jeongguk grits out, tilting his chin in defiance. To sneer the words an inch away from Taehyung’s turned cheek. “Pretend like you’re a good, caring one. If that was the case, you wouldn’t have Youngho bringing the news of my death to Namjoon.”

Taehyung turns his head further, and Jeongguk’s distantly aware of Hoseok standing behind him. But he has tunnel vision, his rage suddenly consuming. It vibrates inside of him like a live wire, muscles tensing. He feels the strain of it everywhere, in his gut, back, face.

“Everything Namjoon’s done for you, and that’s how you pay him back?” Jeongguk grits under his breath. 

He’s tried his best not to let himself feel for two years now, and it’s too hard to fight it off anymore.

“It’s going to destroy him,” Jeongguk shouts, shoving his body hard into Taehyung’s, unrelenting in the way he pushes and pushes because he can’t use his hands. “Letting me actually die would be a lot more kinder than letting this eat away at Namjoon.”

It makes Taehyung stumble back, but they’re surrounded in an instant. Hoseok flying behind Taehyung’s back so he can’t fall, Yoongi grabbing for Jeongguk’s neck. Someone comes up to Jeongguk’s side, hand pressing into his chest to shove him back.

He’s outnumbered, defenseless. But god is he fucking pissed. 

 “Namjoon’s stronger than you think he is,” Taehyung says, his tone calmer than it should be. Unfitting in the tense atmosphere. “I’ve actually talked to him before. He knew this day was coming.”

Jeongguk thinks about the last thing Namjoon’s ever said to him. The pain and desperation in his words. They all know the truth of the matter, hunters don’t live long. It doesn’t make it easier to deal with.

He’s only known Taehyung a short time compared to Namjoon and was ready to tear the world down because of Taehyung’s death. He can’t imagine if it were Namjoon.

“Like that makes it better,” Jeongguk snaps. “Remember your pain when you lost Jimin? You changed your whole life around, becoming a hunter because that’s how much pain you were in.”

Taehyung’s face hardens and it seems like he flies across the ground, closing the space between them. 

Suddenly, everyone backs off. The hand leaving Jeongguk’s chest, his back. Hoseok gone from view. The tension grows in the air, seems to pour off Taehyung in waves. 

Taehyung’s eyes are fully black. Being so close makes it worse than before. He reaches up, and it’s gentle the way he ghosts a finger down Jeongguk’s neck. “You have a death wish, Jeongguk. I’m simply keeping the same promise you made me. If I have to keep you prisoner here to do just that, then I will.”

Jeongguk tenses when he feels something sharp like a needle touch over his sore skin from where the blade had cut him. It seems sharper than the blade, as vampire’s nails can be. It doesn’t hurt at all.

How can he feel anything but the way his heart is shattering in his chest as he looks at what Taehyung’s become? A blood sucking monster with demonic eyes and nails so sharp that the tip of his finger is covered in crimson after barely touching him.

“You’ll have to kill me,” Jeongguk whispers, words calculated so Taehyung will understand them. “You’ll have no choice.”

Taehyung hums as he brings his finger up to his mouth, both eyebrows shooting up towards his hairline. “Not a chance in Hell, Jeon.” 

Jeongguk isn’t brought back to the hospital room. He’s brought to a different floor all together, one led from the staircase opposite the one he came down from. An emptier hallway filled with nothing but the occasional landscape art. 

It’s quiet as they move. Jeongguk wants to fight off Yoongi, but there’s no point.

Taehyung made it clear that he can’t leave, and there’s nothing he can do to undo the rope on his arms just yet.

“Moving you to your own room,” Hoseok explains as he skips up beside him and Yoongi. “Isn’t this fantastic?”

Jeongguk grunts at that. He feels lost right now, chest so suddenly numb he’s not sure he hasn’t been drugged. “Sure is. Almost makes me forget I’m being held captive. Well, unless you’ve put bars on the windows.”

The face Hoseok gives him confirms that they have. The awkward laugh follows it, and his eyes dart to Yoongi behind him who snorts in response. 

“How about you let him go, hyung. I’ll take over from here,” Hoseok says as he shoos Yoongi away with both of his hands.

“No, Hob.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes. “Him and I have bonded, and you’re ruining the mood.” 

The mood. Jeongguk scoffs at that, but he much rather be around Hoseok anyway. If he were stronger, he could take the entire clan but Hoseok seems like he’d be the easiest.

Never before has Jeongguk met a skittish vampire. One that actually shows his fear. Yoongi has, but probably in a way that he thinks is hiding it. By keeping a mere human who’s been in a hospital bed for what feels like years tied up despite being surrounded by vampires. 

Yoongi seems reluctant but finally lets Hoseok take the knife and waits for him to press it right below the back of Jeongguk’s ribs before he leaves them.

When he does, Hoseok instantly pockets the knife and let’s his hands go. “You can walk freely.”

“You sure that’s smart?” Jeongguk asks under his breath, his shoulders slumping as he walks in line with Hoseok.

“No idea,” Hoseok says honestly. “But I kind of feel bad, you know. That’s not the best way to reunite with your best friend. I can see how upset you are, I don’t want to make it worse.”

Jeongguk could laugh. He does. “Don’t try to act like you have a heart, vampire.”

Hoseok sighs in complaint, and he looks genuinely annoyed by this. “You make it really difficult to be nice to you, you know? And it’s dhampir, by the way. I’m not a full blooded vampire.”

Jeongguk doesn’t comment. He’s never come across one before. They’re about as rare as a vampire with a heart, and Jeongguk doesn’t believe those exist at all.

“Hyung and I both,” Hoseok goes on, though Jeongguk doesn’t care enough to ask. “Yoongi hyung, that is. There’s also Jin hyung, who you haven’t met yet I don’t think. He doesn’t think you should be here. That’s what they were discussing in the meeting room. Discussing, fighting. Same thing. He’s the one that pushed you off, though it doesn’t seem like you were aware of anything in the room other than our alpha. Not surprising.”

Jeongguk tries to tune him out. He’s learned it’s a bit impossible, though sometimes he can if his thoughts are loud enough. But right now, Jeongguk doesn’t want to think. 

He can’t think about it. 

Taehyung’s a vampire. An alpha at that.

Namjoon thinks he’s dead, and the fact that Taehyung allowed that to happen is just confirmation of the fact he’s no longer Taehyung.

“I guess I’ll agree with this Jin hyung,” Jeongguk says as Hoseok turns a corner into another hallway. This one longer and decorated. Fake vines and trees lining the walls as if it’s a forest, fake petals scattered as if they’re blowing in the wind. “Don’t really want to be kidnapped and held hostage either.”

Hoseok groans at that. “That’s not what’s happening here.”

It’s a little ridiculous that they would see it as anything different. Jeongguk’s been locked in a room, tied to a bed, since he’s gotten here, and Taehyung basically confirmed it will remain that way.

“You and Yoongi told me your alpha would use me as a blood bag,” Jeongguk grunts, the memory making him nauseous again. The way Taehyung cut Jeongguk’s neck and licked it from his finger. He can’t say his name out loud. “And he made it very clear I’m not leaving.”

Hoseok side eyes him. “Yoongi was just being an asshole. I didn’t say that. I said he’d probably want to feed from you, and it would be hard for him not to. You know for someone who has been raised to be a hunter, you don’t know much about vampire culture.”

He walks a little faster then, leading the way to a door at the end of the hallway. There’s only one other door in the entire hallway, a black one with a golden peephole in the middle.

The one Hoseok stands in front of reminds Jeongguk of a church. An arched opening, wide enough for both of them to walk through at the same time without touching. Dark wooden panels with a metal twisting over the front in an intricate design.

“What else is there to know? They kill humans, hold them hostage. Are demonic.”

Hoseok curls his upper lip as he shoves open the door for Jeongguk. “You’re prejudiced.”

“You’re a monster.”

Offense fills Hoseok’s face, and Jeongguk doesn’t care as he takes in the room that resembles the opposite of a church. 

The massive canopy bed in the middle, the black bedding. The furnishing that looks as if it comes from centuries ago. 

Everything’s black except for the scarlet red carpeting. Even the bars on the windows.

He knows vampires live the same way as humans do, but this room looks like it’s out of the set of an old, grainy vampire movie.  

“You catch more flies with honey than vinegar,” Hoseok snaps as Jeongguk looks around. “I was going to undo the rope but since you want to be such an ignorant shit face, you can deal with it until dinner comes.”

The door slams then, leaving Jeongguk all alone. Maybe Hoseok is right, but Jeongguk isn’t in the mood to do any ass kissing.  

When dinner comes, as promised, Jeongguk’s released from his restraints. It’s Yoongi again, his eyes set in a hard glare as he roughly yanks the rope off of him hard enough it feels as if they’ve burned Jeongguk’s skin. 

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Yoongi snaps as he takes a step back towards the door. “Attack me, you won’t make it down the hallway before you’re killed. Jin hyung’s already made some good points as to why we should kill you anyway. Don’t give him an excuse to.”

Jeongguk ignores him. He considers his chances to take down Yoongi, but he feels too weak to. He doesn’t even think he’d make it through the door before Yoongi killed him, but he doesn’t want to let him know he’s feeling that bad.

“I have a feeling your alpha wouldn’t let you,” Jeongguk grunts. “Did you get a spanking for kicking me around?” 

He picks up the tray and takes it to the desk he had found while waiting for them to come, though he doesn’t feel like eating.

The room feels like it’s lived in. There’s a television, a computer, a gaming system. Books, movies, comics, all a mix of different genres. Things that don’t match with it’s old fashion, gothic decorating. 

Yoongi scowls at him. “You’re really not in the position to be cocky here, hunter.”

 “I remember,” Jeongguk says, setting the tray down on the desk. There’s empty notebooks in the drawers, but there aren’t any writing tools. No kind of easy weapons in the room. Technically there’s things he could use in defense, but they’re heavy things like the television. “You and Hoseok talking about how if something happens to me, you’ll die.”

Yoongi only glares at him, eyes amber before steps out the door and slams it shut.

Jeongguk doesn’t get it. What the point of all this is. Why Taehyung wants to keep him here if he doesn’t want him to die. Unless he’s just playing with him, dangling him around until the day he decides to truly end him.

He’s uncomfortable by the idea of Taehyung feeding from him, and he can’t think of that as an option or he’ll panic. 

Jeongguk focuses instead on the food in front of him. Tries not to be angry when he realizes it’s the same exact meal him, Taehyung, and Namjoon had on Taehyung’s very first night in the bunker.

It’s two days later that Jeongguk gets to see Taehyung again. He keeps the curtains open in the bedroom to watch as the days pass, folding the paper from the notebooks in different shapes and lining them on an empty shelf to count how many go by. 

He still doesn’t know how long he’s been here, though he tried using the computer to find out but it’s password protected. He tried to guess a few things because it was his own name on the user profile.

It feels a little like this room was set up for him. 

In two days, Jeongguk only sees Yoongi. He thinks the black room is worse than the blinding white one. Feels more like Hell. Locked away in a tower or something because when Jeongguk tries to look down through the bars on his windows, the drop to the ground seems like miles.

Two days, and Jeongguk searches every inch of the room and tires himself out trying to come up with an escape plan. His only option would be overpowering Yoongi when he delivers food or somehow getting the bars off the windows, but both will end in his death surely.

Jeongguk doesn’t really see it as a bad alternative.

He lays on the comfortable bed and thinks about it when there’s a knock at the door. He doesn’t reply to it or acknowledge it in any way, and there’s only a short pause before Jeongguk hears the key in the lock.

At first, Jeongguk doesn’t look to see who it is. But with a lack of witty remark or warning from Yoongi, an eerie feeling dawns on Jeongguk that has him yanking his head up.

He moves to his feet faster as Taehyung settles two suitcases at the foot of the bed. “What the hell do you want?”

Taehyung thrusts his hand up, palm facing Jeongguk. He’s dressed in a suit today, a deep emerald color with gold stitching up the arms. The other vampire, the one that Jeongguk’s guessed to be Jin, comes in with a box in his arms first as Hoseok follows behind him.

Hoseok wiggles his fingers in a wave when he sets it down, mouth opening around a smile before he quickly scurries out to get another box. 

“I got you some things,” Taehyung announces as he waves his fingers from where he holds his hands out to stop Jeongguk from moving. 

Vampires have abilities, things they can do with their mind. It’s how Jimin was able to break his wrist without touching him, how Taehyung’s able to make Jeongguk frozen still and unable to lunge like he wants to.

“Some clothes. Shampoo, you know,” Taehyung explains as Hoseok darts one more box into the room before he closes the door on them. His face falls when Jeongguk refuses to acknowledge him. 

A growl forms in Jeongguk’s throat, and it’s him that feels like the monster right now. All until the black swallows Taehyung’s eyes again. 

“Fuck your gifts.”

“Necessities, not gifts,” Taehyung clarifies. He licks his lips, swallowing thickly before his eyes go back to normal. “You’re not leaving here anytime soon, so you might as well have what you need.”

Taehyung lets his hand go to slip into his pocket, and Jeongguk hesitates before he realizes he can move.

He doesn’t hesitate then, however, to move into Taehyung’s space. To get close, shoulders broadening, stance ready for a fight even if he still feels weaker than his normal self. 

“What is the point? Having me here like a caged animal until you decide when it’s time for me to die?”

Taehyung holds his eye contact, but he seems composed. “Well, the literal point of this is so you don’t die, Guk. Told you that. And I’d prefer not to keep you in here, but at the same time, I don’t trust for you not to try and kill me or my clan.”

They’re the same height today, Jeongguk takes a step until their noses practically touch. That anger fills him again, but he’s tired. Too tired to try and fight Taehyung right now. 

“I will. I can promise you that.”

Taehyug’s lips quirk up at that, his eyes dropping from Jeongguk’s eyes to his mouth. “You also promised to make sure I got out of that house with you that day, which you didn’t keep. Can’t say I believe you’re a man of your word.”

Pain explodes in Jeongguk’s chest. It’s said with no emotion, Taehyung taunting the guilt that’s been plaguing him for two years at him with no emotion . “You might as well let me rot in here, Taehyung, because I don’t care how long it takes, I will kill you.”

Taehyung reaches up to stroke one of his bulky rings beneath Jeongguk’s chin. Jeongguk let’s him because it hurts. 

It hurts him, because this is his Taehyung, and he struggles reminding himself it isn’t. Not with him right here, when Jeongguk’s gone so long praying there was a way to see him again.

Just not like this.

It’s harder than Jeongguk ever imagined it would be. Trained his whole life to be told vampires are demonic, to shoot without thought because they’re just a monster and will drain you if you don’t, yet he says it now that he could kill Taehyung, and he doesn’t even believe it himself.

“There are four other vampires here,” Taehyung says softly, almost a whisper. “The only reason they’re leaving you alone is because of me. Killing me won’t be a smart move, Jeon.”

Jeongguk laughs as he takes a step back, desperate for space between them again though he was the one to get rid of it. “Like you said, I have a death wish.”

It’s instant the way Taehyung’s face hardens, his eyes turning black as he glares at Jeongguk. “I think you’ve misunderstood. Human blood is hard to come by. My clan would very much like to have our own human here. They’ve been trying to get one. It isn’t about death.”

Jeongguk tries not to let Taehyung see the way he stills at that. How he’d rather die than ever let that happen. Taehyung must know that.

But, Jeongguk’s always wondered how much vampires remember of their human selves. To be able to become someone so entirely different, lose all their morals, humanity. To rely on nothing but instinct and nature like an animal. They have to forget who they are, their life. 

Jeongguk kind of hates the idea of there being a Taehyung that’s forgotten him because his memories with Taehyung is all Jeongguk thinks about. 

“Look what you’ve become, Taehyung,” Jeongguk says, the words choked, broken. “Talking about holding humans hostage to feed from them.”

Taehyung’s jaw tenses as he shakes his head. “Let your biases go, Jeon. There’s humans that want to be fed from, but it isn’t easy to find them. No one would be held hostage and would be paid heavily for their services. But if you kill me, vampires and hunters are no different in the way they avenge their loved ones.”

Jeongguk presses his tongue hard into the roof of his mouth, ignoring that. Taehyung really has lost himself if he doesn’t see the difference there. “And what about me? You don’t consider this as me being held hostage?”

Taehyung pulls the door open. “Like I said, as long as I know you won’t kill me or anyone else, you’re free to leave this room.” He turns around a small smile on his face. “This is my hallway. My bedroom is just a few meters away. If you need anything.” He hovers a fist on the wooden door, mimicking knocking. “Just put all that rage inside of you into banging on the door. I’ll hear you.”

It’s quiet during both the day and night. Jeongguk can’t figure out what schedule the clan is on. Yoongi visits him during the day, three times, but Jeongguk refuses to ask him any questions.

Sometimes, Taehyung is the one to bring him food. Jeongguk refuses to acknowledge him, to even look at him.

When it’s Hoseok’s turn, Jeongguk’s relieved. Maybe it’s the fact that Hoseok is half human that makes Jeongguk find his presence a little bearable. 

But he also hasn’t said a word in days and feels like he has to before he goes crazy.

“Stay,” Jeongguk says as he takes the tray from Hoseok’s hands. “Eat with me.”

Hoseok’s mouth forms a grimace that Jeongguk thinks is meant to be a smile. “Ah, well.”

“I won’t hurt you or anything,” Jeongguk promises as he walks off then to give them some space before sitting on the ground. “I’ve never met a dhampir before.”

Hoseok rubs at the back of his neck, seeming to question it before he finally sits across from Jeongguk. Jeongguk wonders if each vampire has their own hallway and decorates it as such because the one with the hospital room had been as vibrant and bright as the clothes Hoseok’s currently wearing.

A baby blue shirt that’s tucked in the front but hits his knees in the back. Bright yellow pants and a red pack snug to his hip. His slippers are transparent and purple, and they look to be made out of rubber. 

“A lot of humans don’t believe we exist,” Hoseok explains.

Jeongguk opens a container of what looks to be bulgogi and nudges it for Hoseok to take some. “How do your powers compare?”

He glances at the door behind Hoseok, left slightly ajar. He doesn’t doubt there’s probably another one of them in the hallway somewhere. They’re careful of him. Even when bound they don’t trust him.

And Jeongguk doubts Hoseok came alone. With how skittish he is and how Yoongi seems reluctant to leave them alone, it’s unlikely.

But Taehyung’s made it clear they won’t kill him. He could risk it, but he could also get tied down again. He doesn’t know, but he’ll be on his best behavior to show them he can be free of this room.

“Pretty much the same, but vampires are stronger,” Hoseok says as he plucks a piece of meat from the container. “I just can’t turn anyone.”

“Good,” Jeongguk says offhandedly as he watches Hoseok eat the food, confirming his suspicion that vampires can eat human food. He’s thought so after years of raiding places filled with human food or left on plates like they disturbed them during dinner. 

Namjoon knows more about the culture and specifics of vampires. Jeongguk only cares about their skills and how to kill them. 

Hoseok makes a face at that that. “Becoming a vampire isn’t the worst thing in the world.”

“I’d rather die,” Jeongguk says simply as he brings the meat to his mouth. It’s good, and he knows Taehyung cooked it. All the meals lately have been his favorite, so he’s either chosen his meals or cooked them himself. Jeongguk cooked the most at the bunker, but Taehyung usually kept him company in the kitchen while he did.

He’s paired every meal with his favorite spicy beef stew. The stew that Jeongguk’s told him his mother used to always make for him, and he could never get it to be the same as her’s. And it’s been good . Not better than his mother’s, but better than his own. 

“‘Cause you’re an idiot,” Hoseok says, taking another piece of meat. “I’d do anything to see my family again, living. You hate us so much that you’d rather see Taehyung dead then see him be able to laugh. To see how big he smiles and gets excited about things.”

Jeongguk tenses, heart hammering. The words fall from Hoseok’s mouth because that’s what he does, he rambles.

How many times did Jeongguk wish for just that? Too often, way too often.

“And I know you love him or why else would you go rampant after he died?” Hoseok says casually as he goes to reach for another piece. “Love him that much yet would kill him and watch him die a second time -”

Jeongguk takes the bottom of the tray and chucks it. Smashes it at Hoseok. He is as strong as a vampire, moving quickly on his feet, only a blur as he shoots back against the door. Rice sticks to his lap though, the food now splattered across the floor.

“Get out,” Jeongguk snaps. “Go.”

It’s upsetting because it’s true. It’s also the reason why Jeongguk knows he can’t keep his second promise to Taehyung.

He can’t watch him die again.

“Wow,” Hoseok exclaims, kicking his food out. “I’ll leave you to your moral dilemma, Jeongguk. But just know, nothing about Taehyung has changed.”

“You didn’t know him then.” 

Hoseok glares at him. “Yeah, maybe I didn’t, but I still know that it’s true.” 

And with that, he slams the door shut as he leaves. The locking of it seems loud in Jeongguk’s ears, echoing through the silent room.

Jeongguk can’t get Hoseok’s words out of his mind. He stares up at the canopy above his bed as he thinks about it. He wishes the images of Taehyung didn’t force their way into his brain, intrusive and determined to get stuck in his mind. 

The only thing he can do is cooperate. To swallow down his pride and realize he’s been defeated. There’s nothing he can do, because Taehyung won’t let him die.

He just has to stay here. On nights like this, when his mind hurts with how it tries to keep up with every painful thought, every image in his mind. 

He can’t do it locked up anymore.

He has to be free so he can kill the entire clan and find Namjoon. 

“I won’t kill you.”

Taehyung glances at him as he sets a tray on Jeongguk’s desk.

“If you let me leave this room, I won’t kill you,” Jeongguk clarifies. He does so begrudgingly.  

“Or Jimin?” Taehyung asks, eyebrow arching in question. He’s in a billowy white blouse today, the collar tied into a bow beneath his throat but it has an opening beneath that reveals his bare chest. Jeongguk will deny how his eyes traveled there, he’ll ignore the tiny thought in his mind that reminded him of how attracted he used to be to Taehyung. 

Jeongguk glares at him instead before he rolls his eyes. It feels a little petulant but Taehyung never mentioned Jimin in his reason for keeping him locked up. “Anyone here. As long as they don’t touch me. Anyone, anywhere. Not even the smallest touch.”

Taehyung slips his hands into his pockets, and he doesn’t hesitate to nod. “No one will.”

“No one feeds from me,” Jeongguk goes on, feeling breathless as he stands up from where he was sitting on the bed. “And you tell Namjoon I’m alive.”

Taehyung’s tongue jabs into his cheek hard as he peers his eyes at him. “Namjoon won’t stop looking for you if I do.”

“Youngho probably told him it was Jimin and Yoongi that took us, will describe Hoseok. Namjoon won’t stop trying to find you either way.”

Lips tugging down into a frown, Taehyung looks like he’s considering it. “And you’d like me to, what? Tell him you’ve been taken in by a clan of vampires, but ‘don’t worry hyung, all’s good here?’ And expect him to just accept that?”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. It’s almost easy to pretend like they’re back in the bunker, bickering again. Or on a raid, arguing about who should call Namjoon when one of them got hurt. “Tell him I’m with you. That you’ve been in hiding from Jimin. I found you and agreed to go into hiding as well. That is, if you don’t want him to know you’re a vampire.”

Taehyung’s mouth falls open, eyebrows scrunching together briefly. His eyes fill with alarm, and Jeongguk would take that over the black. 

“I have a feeling hyung would be a lot more accepting of my current state,” Taehyung says brusquely, “And I don’t think that Namjoon would believe you’d so willingly abandon his side.”

Jeongguk hesitates, tongue pressing into the back of his teeth. The truth of what he says creates a pang in his chest. “He would if it was for you.”

Their eyes hold onto each other for a moment. Jeongguk’s so used to people breathing that he hadn’t noticed Taehyung is and shouldn’t be, his chest rising and falling slowly. 

“For human me,” Taehyung corrects, at the same time as Jeongguk’s once again slipped into forgetting what he is.  

“Right.”

Jeongguk takes a step back, turning away from him. To put room between them again, to make it so he doesn’t have to look at his Taehyung’s face on a monster. He doesn’t even have a photograph of his human Taehyung, only has memories of his face and this one is tainting those. 

“Thought you hated me back then, Jeon,” Taehyung goes on, tone curious. 

Jeongguk looks down at his own hands. At the scars on them, how rugged they are from fighting. Fighting beside Taehyung who got on his nerves always, but Jeongguk’s always preferred to fight beside him than anyone else. 

“I didn’t,” Jeongguk says lowly, a quiet admission he wished he had made sure human Taehyung knew. Hates the idea that Taehyung died thinking he hated him. “Now I do.”

When he looks back around at Taehyung, determined for Taehyung to see his face when he sees it, he’s frowning. Glaring, eyes black again.

“But I won’t kill you,” Jeongguk says. “You have my word.”

Taehyung nods a few times like he’s considering it. “Alright. But you stick with me whenever you leave the room.”

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose. “No.”

“You just had a long list of requirements,” Taehyung says, holding a hand out as if to indicate him. “I have one. No death. I’m adding a second to it. That you’ll be beside me when you leave this room.”

Vampire Taehyung is just as annoying as his human version, Jeongguk thinks with a mental scoff. “I just said I hated you, clearly you’re doing this to torture me. Yet you keep trying to act like there’s something good in you.”

“It’s not an act,” Taehyung snaps, the first real sign of emotion from him since they’ve first spoken appearing on his face. “You’ll stick by my side and see I haven’t changed, Jeongguk. You’re always so goddamn stubborn.”

Jeongguk rests his butt back on the bed, waiting for Taehyung to leave. He isn’t going to have this argument, if Taehyung remembers his human life, he’ll already know how Jeongguk feels.

If he doesn’t, Jeongguk doesn’t care to explain it. 

“Now come on,” Taehyung grunts, aggravated sounding as he curls his hand to beckon Jeongguk forward. “The house is empty right now anyway.”

Jeongguk perks up. He wasn’t expecting Taehyung to let him out so quickly, especially if he’s alone. “That means I could easily escape. Kill you.”

Taehyung snorts as he kicks the slippers next to Jeongguk’s bed at him. “If you’ve noticed, I’m a baby. Barely out of my terrible twos. Yet I’m already an alpha of my own clan. You’re a good hunter, I know that. But I’m no match for you.”

Jeongguk slides his feet through the slippers, amused. It is true. Jeongguk’s been trying to figure out how someone could rise up in the ranks as quickly as Taehyung has seemed to. But human Taehyung learned how to fight and hunt vampires in a few short years, getting up to Jeongguk’s levels when he had been training since he could walk.

“We’ll see about that. Same thing you claimed as a human yet it wasn’t true, now was it?”

For a moment, Taehyung’s mouth twitches like he might smile but doesn’t. “Yet Youngho told me you’ve had a problem with every partner you’ve had since me. Told me a lot actually about you.”

Jeongguk shoves past Taehyung. He never talked to Youngho about Taehyung, but he always had assumptions about Jeongguk’s feelings and heartbreak that were true. “If you’re not going to tell Namjoon I’m alive, at least warn him about Youngho. He seems to have a big mouth under pressure. Do that for him at least.”

Taehyung’s face completely falls, and it’s quiet when he speaks. “I was the only one who dealt with Youngho, Jeongguk. It’s nothing I didn’t already know, and no one here has any desire to go hurt him.”

The idea didn’t really occur to Jeongguk. Sometimes, vampires get hunters before hunters can get them, clean out bunkers the way they clean out nests. But he didn’t think about it.

He needs to get better at remembering Taehyung isn’t himself anymore.

“You did,” Jeongguk says as he grasps the doorknob. A sense of anticipation fills him, nerves. Freedom, and it makes him hesitate in opening the door. It could be a trick. “You hurt him in the most possible way. Killing him would have been kinder.”

He yanks the door open. The air in the hallway isn’t any different than the one in the room, but it feels like it’s different when he inhales.

“I’ll tell him you’re alive,” Taehyung says as he steps past him to take the lead. “Now come on. Let me show you around.”

There’s a smile on Taehyung’s face as he waves his arm around to indicate the hallway. He doesn’t say where they are, but Jeongguk listens as he explains it’s their home. The one Namjoon had tracked them to had been temporary because they were in hiding from someone else.

With each word, Jeongguk realizes how much he’s missed his voice.

“Yoongi hyung was pretty much held captive by his clan,” Taehyung explains. He walks slowly, and Jeongguk still feels tense as if he’s walking into a trap. “It’s an older tradition, held by older vampires. Makes members of their clan take an oath to remain loyal, forcing them to stay. The alpha happened to be Yoongi’s father. You killed him from what I’ve heard.”

“I’ve killed many vampires, can’t care to remember them,” Jeongguk admits. The hallway seems forever to walk through, and those nerves spark again when they leave it. 

“He was ancient, if that jogs your memory. Impressive stuff. Jimin was on his way to,” Taehyung explains quietly as they enter a second hallway. Jeongguk remembers the way back to the living area, but he follows behind Taehyung so he won’t see the way he searches around for any potential things he can use as weapons, to help him with an escape. “They’re mates, by the way. That’s why he’s been an asshole. You have ever hunter in the country looking for him.”

“Figured,” Jeongguk grunts. Disappointment fills him because there’s nothing in these hallways he could use as a weapon, unless he rips down the fake vines that look to be made out of wood from the walls in Taehyung’s corridor. But wood only weakens a vampire, doesn’t kill them. 

“Yoongi’s alpha turned him, it’s how they met. Jimin turned me,” Taehyung says, and Jeongguk stops in his tracks. He can’t physically make himself move, even when Taehyung takes a few more steps.

The hatred he had for Jimin had been overpowering before, but now it’s nothing compared to the feeling that flares up inside of him. So much so, that he doesn’t even realize Taehyung’s telling him he’s born from the blood of an ancient line. 

Taehyung sighs when he turns around. “He turned me because I was dying.” He shifts on his feet, head tilting to the side. The scars on his face are gone, but now Jeongguk can see one over the side of his throat. Mouth shaped. “Saved my life.”

“You’re just as dead,” Jeongguk says as he catches his bearings and starts walking again because the sight of the scar makes Jeongguk think about how Taehyung had his throat ripped open.

Taehyung presses his lips together, humming. He waits for Jeongguk to pass him before he starts walking again. “I no longer see it that way.”

Jeongguk could laugh. He wants to, but he knows it will come out sounding pained and he doesn’t want to give Taehyung that satisfaction. He clearly already seeks enjoyment out of torturing him. “What, blood drinking is better than you expected?”

The laugh Taehyung lets out is quiet. “Ah, Jeonggukkie, it’s literally in my nature to enjoy it. Though, there are some who taste better than others.”

Disgust fills Jeongguk. “I don’t want to hear it.”

“No?” Taehyung asks, and Jeongguk feels his hand hover over the back of his neck before he drops it. An old habit, Taehyung’s always been touchy. Jeongguk wonders if that part of him stayed the same then shakes it out of his mind because he doesn’t care. “Thought we’d get to know each other again, and blood drinking happens to be a big past time of mine.”

Jeongguk whips around and pushes a hand into Taehyung’s chest. Emotions rise inside of him again, and he forgets there was a time where he could pretend like he didn’t feel so strongly. Two years where he could push them down. 

He actually did a horrible job at it pretending. Punching his fists so hard into the punching bag that his knuckles would break open. Snapping at Namjoon more often than he should, over stupid shit most of the time. Being a genuine dickhead to most of the hunters that tried to help him.

The vicious way he would tear through a vampire’s nest. 

“Do you want to know something, Taehyung? I’ve lost a lot of people in my life,” Jeongguk grits out. “They all felt like the worst thing that could happen to me. Thinking I had seen you die was the worst thing that could happen to me, I thought. But this hurts worse than that ever could. So if you’d wish to keep me around, please shut the fuck up about it.”

Taehyung is silent. His lips press together, eyes widening a fraction. He holds Jeongguk’s gaze for what feels like an eternity before he lets out a shaky exhale.

A movement probably meant to convince Jeongguk he’s the same as before. Like if he breathes, Jeongguk will forget what he is. If he shows emotion, Jeongguk will feel differently. If he pretends like they were how they used to be, Jeongguk would see the Taehyung he loves not hates. 

“There’s no point in denying what I am now,” Taehyung finally says, words hesitant. Dripping from his lips so slowly, Jeongguk wonders if the rumor that vampires have the power of mind manipulation is true. “I’m an extremely powerful vampire , Jeongguk. An alpha. I drink blood. I enjoy it. Every time I come close to you -”

Jeongguk can’t hear anymore. He pushes Taehyung harder, frustration filling him when Taehyung doesn’t even move an inch. Even when he uses all of his strength to push him again, Taehyung doesn’t move.

“If you were in my shoes,” Jeongguk yells, pushing again. “You wouldn’t accept it either. You wouldn’t -”

The words are cut from him when Taehyung grabs a hold of his chin. It’s firm, but if Taehyung is as powerful as he seems, it could be considered gentle.

Jeongguk takes a step back just for Taehyung to take one step forward. 

“I would,” Taehyung says under his breath, and the threatening tone doesn’t match his words. “When I saw Jimin that day, the way he smiled, I thought about how happy I was that the world can still be blessed by it. If I were in your shoes, my heart would feel content that the world gets a Jeon Jeongguk in it, even if you’re a stubborn ass that’s annoying as hell.”

Taehyung releases him suddenly, eyes now completely black. He takes a step back and moves forward. “I had the same mindset as you before, Jeon. You’ll come around.”

Jeongguk locks his jaw. He hates that there’s a battle in his head because he meant it. This is the worst thing that could have happened to him.

But his inability to kill Taehyung disagrees with that.

“I won’t,” Jeongguk grits out. “I might as well go back to my room if this is what you’re going to talk about.”

Taehyung steps in his way before he can. “No, you’re going to walk with me, Gukkie. You’ve barely used your legs since you’ve gotten here.”

Jeongguk hangs his head between them, shaking it a few times. The emotion wells up in his throat, pushes into his face. “Why are you doing this to me, Taehyung?”

It’s quiet for a long moment, only the sound of Taehyung breathing in response. Jeongguk wants to beg him to stop pretending like he has to. 

“You hate me that much?”

Jeongguk flicks his eyes up, even if Taehyung seems to refuse to make his own go back to normal. 

Somehow, despite it, Jeongguk can see how hurt Taehyung looks.

“Of course I do,” Jeongguk wheezes. “You’re a monster, now. Your instinct is to kill. It’s in your nature to.”

Taehyung shakes his head as he takes a step back. “If I was a monster, Jeongguk, I would have drained you dry already. That’s how good you smell. Irresistible. And if I remember correctly, it’s also in your nature to kill. You have the same craving for blood as I do. A killer born and bred.”

Irresistible, it makes Jeongguk’s stomach twist. He can’t focus on it. “It’s not the same.”

“Whatever,” Taehyung says. “Go back to your room then.”

Chapter Text

“You know, Taehyung never cooks but since you’ve gotten here, he cooks every day.”

Jeongguk looks up from the stove, glancing at where Hoseok sits on the counter beside him. 

It’s a little reckless of them to allow Jeongguk in the kitchen, but it’s been cleaned out of anything sharp and the silverware isn’t real silver. Hoseok made a point to show him by grabbing a cluster of spoons the moment they entered. “Is that so?”

Hoseok nods his head, legs kicking out. There’s chocolate on his fingers that he licks off because he can’t keep them out of the batter, even when Jeongguk’s snapped at him to already.

“Mhm. He even decorated your room. Thought it was funny to make it look straight out of that Addam’s Family show.”

Jeongguk’s uncomfortable by that because it feels like it’s been done because Taehyung’s set on forcing the fact that he’s a vampire down his throat. “I don’t care, Hoseok.”

Hoseok sighs as he once again dips his finger into the brownie batter. 

This afternoon, Jeongguk had been dragged from his bedroom to a kitchen full of baking supplies. Hoseok wanted to bake while the rest of the clan participated in a meeting that he claims to be too uncomfortable to join.

Jeongguk thinks he’s up to something else. The rule is he can only leave his room with Taehyung, but he hasn’t seen Taehyung since he’s been out. 

Unless Taehyung’s gotten the hint that he’d rather be out with literally anyone else other than him finally. Even Yoongi, who Jeongguk thinks is the most likely to break Taehyung’s rule and kill him if Jeongguk talks enough shit about Jimin. 

“Okay, can we talk about something that will somewhat resemble a conversation then?” Hoseok asks as he uses his spit covered hands to grab the plate of peanut butter cookie balls to hand to Jeongguk.

Making a face of disgust, Jeongguk shakes his head so Hoseok hops off the counter to do it himself.

“Why do you want to make conversation with me knowing I hate you?” Jeongguk asks, stepping away from the stove for Hoseok to drop the balls into the pan.

“Because you don’t hate me ,” Hoseok clarifies. “You probably have some woeful past that you use to justify your hatred for an entire species, but whatever it was, it wasn’t my doing.” 

Jeongguk scoffs. “I grew up in a hunter’s commune. Everyone I was raised with was killed by vampires.”

Hoseok glances at him, quiet for a moment but there’s this stubborn look on his face that makes Jeongguk know he’ll hate whatever leaves his mouth next. “Did they die during a raid? Die breaking into a vampire’s home and trying to kill their loved ones? Or did they die because they did kill a vampire’s loved one, and they sought revenge? Humans do these same things. To each other. Hell, in the U.S., there’s people who consider their most important right is to shoot and kill someone who comes into their home.”

Jeongguk doesn’t care enough to give Hoseok a response, to justify it. To tell him how he’s lost his parents because he remembers Hoseok implying he’s lost his as well.

“I’ve never killed anyone,” Hoseoks says before he pulls the bowl away from the pan and immediately sticks his tongue around the edge to lick the remaining batter off. “I don’t even feed from people unless they tell me it’s okay. Most vampires are like that. Everyone in my clan is.” 

“Not all.”

Jeongguk turns around to find the vampire he’s yet to meet walk into the kitchen. He has a hard look in his eyes. “I’ve yet to introduce myself. Kim Seokjin.”

A mere glance at the hand he holds out is the only response Jeongguk gives him. It makes Jin grin, eyes sparkling as he slips his hands into his pockets. 

“I have killed many humans before I joined this clan,” Jin says, and it doesn’t sound proud but it comes off that way in Jeongguk’s opinion. “I’ve used mind manipulation to get someone to calm down while I fed from them. There’s some of us who are bad. Hoseok’s a good one, so be nice to him, eh? ‘Cause I’m a bad one, and I don’t care about alpha’s rules.”

Jeongguk’s defenses rises, the fight inside of him making body tense and fists form. Jin looks casual, maybe even amused like he knows he’s ruffled Jeongguk’s fathers and wanted to.

“Hyung, we have him held hostage here,” Hoseok interrupts. “Let him be moody.”

Jin ignores him as he pops his finger into the chocolate batter as well. It annoys Jeongguk enough that he doesn’t warn him that Hoseok’s been mouthing at that bowl since they put it together. 

“I may not be the alpha, but I am the eldest here,” Jin says as he makes an impressed face. “This is my seventieth year. I feel it’s my place to give you a warning, Jeongguk. Watch your tongue.”

Jeongguk peers at the vampire before he steps up to him. He’s slowly getting his strength back and will soon be at the level he needs to be able to snap a vampire’s neck with his bare hands.

“You and your warning can fuck off.”

With a laugh, Jin taps Jeongguk’s cheek. “I don’t get why Taehyungie likes you so much. You’ve been nothing but volatile and stubborn.”

Jeongguk grins, arms crossing over his chest. “The fact you find it odd for me to be so just proves how inhuman you are.”

Jin parts his lips as Hoseok makes a noise of complaint from beside them, but it’s not Jin’s voice that sounds through the room.

It’s Taehyung’s.

“Enough already,” Taehyung says like he’s tired. “Jin, I told you to leave him alone.”

Jin only glances at Taehyung, and Jeongguk wants to turn around and see him but he refuses to give the older vampire his back. Jin’s casual in his threats, but Yoongi told him that Jin wanted him killed and fought with Taehyung about it.  

There’s something with the thought that he trusts Taehyung and Hoseok behind it, but he ignores it.

“Just saying hello to the new member of the family,” Jin says innocently. Their shoulders touch when he steps past him, and Jeongguk wants to remind Taehyung of their deal.

But Taehyung’s doing it before he can. 

“Touch him again, and I’ll ban you.”

“You never would,” Jin says confidently. “I gave you this house.”

Taehyung doesn’t back down, but he seems relaxed as he leans into the door frame. He’s dressed casually today in an oversized plaid shirt that’s exactly like one he owned when he was human. “Just leave him alone or I’ll send you and Jimin together on the next snack run.”

Snack run, Jeongguk looks away then and pretends to busy himself with helping Hoseok so he doesn’t have to think too hard about what that means.

“Bitch,” he hears Jin say but it’s soft, gentle. His tone completely opposite of the way he was speaking to Jeongguk. “He doesn’t ever listen, and he’s hard to keep track of.”

“Neither do you, and trust me, I know,” Taehyung laughs under his breath. “But go see Yoongi now. We have a donor on the way.”

Jeongguk looks over his shoulder at that and finds Taehyung’s eyes on him as Jin says something before leaving.

“Do you want me to explain what a donor is or will you get bitchy when I remind you that I drink blood?” Taehyung asks as he lifts a questioning brow. 

They haven’t really talked since. Every day, Taehyung will come and get him from his room but they don’t speak. Jeongguk ignores him when he tries, until Taehyung stopped trying.

“I know what a donor is,” Jeongguk grits out, earning another sigh from Hoseok.

“Can we just have one day without so much animosity?” Hoseok complains beneath his breath as he jabs the buttons on the stove a little harder than needed. “Just one day!”

“Can we?”

Nerves spark through Jeongguk at the sudden feel of breath against his ear, at Taehyung’s sudden proximity.

He’s hovering behind Jeongguk’s back, and Jeongguk hadn’t even heard him move, despite how aware of Taehyung’s presence he is. Jeongguk slowly eases around, refusing to allow Taehyung to see he’s been startled. 

“No,” Jeongguk whispers, furrowing his brows as his gaze drops from Taehyung’s eyes to the mouth that pulls into a soft smile.

His teeth are sharp, but his eyes are normal. Jeongguk can’t stop thinking about what he said about how he smells. If that’s why all the hygiene products he’s been given have such strong scents, if Taehyung’s trying to mask it somehow. Why he tortures himself to try and prove he’s something he’s not. 

“If you want me here, this is how you’ll have me.”

Taehyung only grins wider. “Stubborn as always. I just wanted to tell you I put word out to Namjoon. It should reach him soon. He’s still in the countryside. Took out nearly every vampire from that bar. The ones we haven’t gotten, at least.” 

Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat, but he doesn’t trust Taehyung enough to believe he is speaking the truth “I didn’t think you really were going to.”

“I keep my word,” Taehyung says, reaching up with a knuckle curved but he seems to think against it before it can make contact with Jeongguk’s skin. “I told him we were together. I still don’t believe that will work.” 

Jeongguk licks over his teeth, wanting to take a step back and not move an inch away at all. “It will,” he assures. 

It isn’t this Taehyung’s right to know why Jeongguk is so sure of that. To know how long Jeongguk has grieved for him, fought in memory of him. He wishes hunters buried theirs or had gravesites so he could go somewhere just to tell his Taehyung these things instead. 

Taehyung looks as if he still doesn’t believe it, but he doesn’t argue. “Hoseokie, the do

nor will be here in an hour if you’re hungry. Jeongguk, I can walk you up to your room or you can come to the garden with me when they get here?”

An hour. Jeongguk wonders how far they are from anything. When he looks outside, he sees nothing but empty land, but he hasn’t seen the other sides of the house. “You’re not eating?”

Taehyung shakes his head, though he moves his body to glance at the stove. “I’ll have some of those cookies though.” 

Jeongguk narrows his eyes suspiciously. He’s onto Taehyung’s games, and though he wishes he would give up trying to pretend he’s human, he actually is thankful because he can’t deal with the images of Taehyung sinking his fangs into someone’s neck.

“I want to meet the donor. They’re human. I haven’t seen a human in so long.”

Taehyung’s face twists into one of confused amusement. It’s judgey. “Alright, I guess. It’s the only thing that gets them off, though, so if you want to lecture them about their choices, it’ll probably be a waste of time. They spent months looking for a vampire to feed from them.”

Heat rushes up into Jeongguk’s face at the thought of it. “I don’t know how long I’ve been here, that’s all I want to ask.”

Taehyung’s judgemental expression grows. “What do you mean? You haven’t used the laptop in your room? You didn’t think to ask anyone the date?”

Jeongguk gives him an annoyed look. He figured no one would tell him. “It’s password protected.”

Amusement fills Taehyung’s expression as he takes a step back, head wagging from side to side. “It’s ‘I love Taehyung’. I’ll be back when the donor gets here.”

When the donor arrives, Hoseok seems to sense it. His head cocks to the side, golden eyes jumping in the direction of where Jeongguk assumes the front door is before he’s dropping the plate of baked goods onto the table and darting out of the kitchen.

It’s the first time Jeongguk’s been alone and free at the same time. A minute ticks by. 

A second one. 

A third.

There’s voices floating in from the living room, but they’re fading instead of growing in volume.

Jeongguk could escape like this. Or at least explore some and give the vampires a scare until they find him.

With how fast his heart races at just the mere thought of it, he knows he’ll be found in seconds. It’s an adrenaline rush and a real pain in the ass in the case of natural selection. He wonders why Mother Nature has such a vendetta against humans to make them so much weaker. 

Probably because they’re destroying her Earth, but he recycles. She should give him a break.

“Garden?” 

Taehyung’s voice suddenly floats into the room and disappointment fills him. If he gets Taehyung to trust him a little more, this won’t be his only opportunity to flee. He would much rather be alone, but this is his chance to see what’s outside. 

“Don’t tell me you’re a moral vampire that doesn’t eat humans,” Jeongguk grunts as he plucks a brownie from the table. “Save it if you planned on it.”

“I’m not,” Taehyung laughs, his smile making his cheeks round like apples. “I’m just not hungry. Come on.”

“When was the last time you fed?” Jeongguk asks though he doesn’t care. Taehyung wants him to accept who he is, so he has to find a way to choke down his nausea and pretend to.

“A month ago,” Taehyung replies instantly as he plucks the brownie from Jeongguk’s fingers and brings it to his mouth. “It’s a cloudy day outside but not too cold. I don’t think you’ll need a jacket, but if you want one?”

Jeongguk glances out the kitchen window at the shadow that lays across the normally vibrant green grass. This clan is more active during the day time than most, but he’s also starting to think none of them actually sleep. 

At night sometimes, he can hear the others in the hallway conversing with Taehyung. All times of the night. 

“How often do you need to feed? I thought it was more than that.”

Taehyung sighs like he’s annoyed, and he takes his time in responding as he finishes the brownie first. “I thought you didn’t want to discuss this, Jeon.”

“I don’t.”

“Then why are you asking?”

Jeongguk presses his lips tightly together, feeling petulant again. “You said you wanted me to get to know the new you.”

Taehyung glances at him like he is unsure before he tucks his hands into his pockets and nods. There’s chocolate clinging to his lip, and it’s the only reason Taehyung’s mouth catches his attention. “Well, I feel my energy drained after a couple months. Some feed every week. I told you, finding a consenting human is hard to come by.”

The consenting part is subjective, Jeongguk thinks. Technically, yes. But Namjoon told him a lot of humans seek out some form of gratification from being fed on. Pain release, pleasure. Similar behaviors of an addict chasing a high in Jeongguk’s mind, risking being killed for it. 

It’s taking advantage of that, Jeongguk thinks. Not exactly on the moral high road. 

“So why aren’t you feeding now that you’ve finally found one?”

Taehyung laughs loudly. He looks surprised by Jeongguk’s question though this is what he wanted. “Why don’t I tell you other things about us? Like this garden is Yoongi’s, so don’t touch anything. I’m the decorator. I designed mine and Hoseokie’s hallway. I’m not sure if you’ve seen the others.”

Jeongguk looks to his toes as he follows Taehyung through the empty living room. He wonders if the nest has a special feed room or something. It makes his nose wrinkle at the thought.

There’s not a lot he knows about the specifics of vampire’s feeding habits. He’ll admit that there’s a lot he tuned out during his training. Never cared too much to hear the details enough because it makes him feel sick.

It’s another reason why him and Namjoon are good partners. Namjoon knows everything there is to know about how vampires operate. Would probably study them if he were raised by scientists instead of hunters. Jeongguk knows about their skills, the way they fight, what part of their chest to aim for. 

“Jimin’s has the library and the gym, which I’m sure you’d like but I doubt you want to see him,” Taehyung goes on. “And Jin, well he’s the money maker. He’s been teaching me how to -”

“Where’s Jimin been?”

For a moment, Taehyung doesn’t reply as he snaps his lips shut around whatever he was saying. He opens up the front door and lets Jeongguk take the first step out.

He could run for it.

Taehyung’s a hundred times faster and stronger than him. Jeongguk only has slippers on.

It’s also a lot foggier than Taehyung implied. He can barely see how long the front yard is or what lies on the horizon other than smog. 

“He knows you hate the sight of him, so he’s made himself scarce,” Taehyung says finally as Jeongguk walks slowly down the front stone steps. There’s gnome statues on each one. 

The grass is so green. There’s a forest on the right, the trees so close together it makes it look so much darker than the rest of the yard. A few more trees litter the front lawn, some green and some a pinkish white. It must look nice when it’s sunny outside, but right now the haze gives it an eerie feel. Just like Jeongguk’s bedroom. 

There’s a gravel driveway, but Jeongguk doesn’t see a car. As far as he knows, Taehyung’s never learned to drive, and it seems like he’s spent the last two years climbing the hierarchy ladder and building a clan rather than learning how to.

“I do hate him,” Jeongguk says, lifting his shoulder in a shrug. He’s not going to deny it just to appease Taehyung. It’s the only thing that’s kept him going for the last two years.

“You shouldn’t,” Taehyung says, his fingers ever so softly brushing Jeongguk’s elbow but he rips his hands away with an apologetic look. “I was wrong. He hasn’t changed. Still the same Jimin I grew up with.”

Taehyung should already know Jeongguk thinks that’s bullshit, so he saves him the reminder. “He was toying with you the day you died. Enjoyed it.”

“Mm, didn’t enjoy it,” Taehyung hums as he hops onto the grass and waves Jeongguk towards the forest. “I killed his first alpha.”

Jeongguk falls still, but Taehyung doesn’t stop from walking down the side of the house. It’s quite massive, like a mansion, adding to Jeongguk’s suspicions that each member has their own hallway.

“The one on the stairs after we entered,” Taehyung explains, his voice carrying as Jeongguk jogs to catch up. “Shot him. They were close. Saved his life a few times. We were wrong about there not being an alpha in that clan.”

Jeongguk remembers. “I don’t feel bad about it.”

Taehyung huffs out a noise that sounds irritated. “No, I get it. You’ve made that clear. Jimin locked the doors and was just trying to stall time until the alpha’s lover died, so he couldn’t seek his revenge. That’s what he claimed, but I have a feeling he had a death wish just like you did. Try to piss you off so you’d shoot him.”

Turning around the corner, a massive greenhouse comes into view. It looks nearly as big as the house.

Further in the backyard, there’s an in-ground pool and sets of glass lawn tables scattered here and there. 

It’s an odd thing to find at a nest. A lot of nests are in abandoned buildings, though there’s been a few in apartments as well. They’ve always looked lived in, but never luxurious. 

Jeongguk doesn’t comment on Jimin’s death wish because one of his biggest regrets in his life is that he missed his heart. He just doesn’t think saying so will get him on Taehyung’s good side. 

“That’s the one that ripped your throat out?”

Taehyung looks to him as he nods. “Tried to. My choker got in the way. He thought I was your lover. A lover for a lover.”

Jeongguk hesitates, glancing back at the blades of grass beneath his feet. “Why the hell would he think that?”

A chuckle leaves Taehyung’s lips as he shakes his head in disbelief. It makes his dark brown locks sway over his forehead. “We had a bit of a name for ourselves, Jeongguk. We’re very popular amongst the vampire community. Known as a vicious, vampire hunting duo. Best in the country. Plus, Jimin called you my mate that day.”

Jeongguk’s chest swells. They were the best at what they did. Good partners. Jeongguk missed hunting beside him. “How does that make us lovers?”

“That’s how vampires work,” Taehyung says easily as he steps up to the entrance to the greenhouse. “In their minds, that kind of partnership and viciousness is seen between mates. If there’s a clan made up of only two, it’s most likely that’s what they are. No one knew we were actually three. Not in the vampire community at least.” 

The greenhouse is covered in plants and flowers. Things Jeongguk’s never seen before. It’s warm inside, damp, and filled with an array of different kinds of smells. He can’t really picture Yoongi inside tending to them. 

“Do you have one? A mate?” Jeongguk asks as he touches a leaf that is bigger than his own head. He doesn’t want to talk about what they were anymore, doesn’t want to deal with heartbreak again. 

“In a sense, yes,” Taehyung says. He doesn’t step further in but watches as Jeongguk maneuvers himself through each plant.

The flowers are all different colors, some Jeongguk recognizes as common. He’s surprised to find vegetables growing inside as well. It’s a very human thing. “What does that mean?” Jeongguk asks as he reaches down and plucks a cherry tomato that looks ripe and plops it into his mouth. It feels like a big fuck you to Yoongi.

Once, many years ago, Jeongguk mentioned missing windows in the bunker because growing up, they had them. His mother used to put plants in the windows. He wonders if Taehyung remembers. 

“Vampires only mate once,” Taehyung explains, his voice traveling through the greenhouse until he finally takes a step in when Jeongguk moves farther away. “It’s just falling in love, I guess. And the other side doesn’t have to reciprocate those feelings, in that vampire’s mind that’s their mate. There won’t be anyone else. And not in the possessive sense or anything. I don’t know how to explain it. It still binds you to them. It’s not always romantic either, though for me it is.”

Jeongguk looks to Taehyung then as he snaps off another cherry tomato despite his warnings not to touch anything. Taehyung speaks so softly, and Jeongguk wonders who it is. If it’s someone in the clan. “Where are they?”

Taehyung doesn’t respond as he finishes closing the space between them. He doesn’t answer at all as he reaches for the vines twisting on a makeshift wall behind the vegetables to pluck a grape from one. “Try this one instead.”

It’s ignoring the question, and Jeongguk in turn ignores the thousand more that pops into his head as Taehyung lifts his hand to feed him the fruit. Like old times, how often they cooked together and would feed each other the ingredients more than they would actually cook with them.

It’s sweeter than most grapes. Jeongguk makes a pleased noise. “S’good. Don’t tell Yoongi.”

Taehyung grins big, hopping up on his toes. “He’ll kill you if he knows you touched his plants, so I won’t.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. His chest feels light for a moment.

Until he forces himself to remember who and what Taehyung is.

“I want to see the donor.”

The light look on Taehyung’s face disappears too as he nods and shifts his body back towards the entrance. “Alright. But if you only want to see them to ask the date, you could just ask me. I don’t think you’ll like what you’ll see.”

Jeongguk shrugs his shoulders. “It’s fine. How long have I been here?”

He hesitates when Taehyung doesn’t respond right away. 

“A month.”

Annoyance fills Jeongguk and it shows in the way he storms back into the house.

Taehyung had been right. Jeongguk doesn’t like what he sees. He knew he wouldn’t, but he wasn’t expecting it to feel as if he’s experiencing someone dying again.

The rage and disgust that fills him makes his hands form into fists, and it’s only a glimpse when Taehyung opens the door and sees those inside are not finished yet.

A man with his head to the side, his hips humping up into the nothing but the air as Yoongi feeds from his neck. The only other person in the room is Jimin, who comes up behind the man to gently pet his hair back. 

“Hurry up, he’s here to stay, and I need to speak with him,” Taehyung calls before he completely shuts the door.

Jeongguk can’t keep the disgust from his face. “They really get off on that?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung says with a laugh. “You remember hyung told us it’s like an aphrodisiac? Even that’s an understatement. Like, it feels so good you don’t even have to touch yourself kind of deal.”

Jeongguk shoves his fists into his pockets. “I doubt that.”

Taking a step up to him, Taehyung leans a shoulder outside the door. The faint sound of moaning can be heard through it. “It does. I’ve been fed from twice. Once when Jimin saved my life, and the second time with a man I brought into my bed. I’m telling you, felt orgasmic.”

Jeongguk licks over his bottom lip, warmth filling his stomach. He darts his eyes to Taehyung’s soft mouth, the images in his head twisting around until it’s other people he sees instead of Yoongi and the donor.

“If you’re interested in trying,” Taehyung murmurs, reaching up to ghost his knuckle over Jeongguk’s cheek without actually touching him. “Just say the word.”

Jeongguk swats Taehyung’s hand down. “No way in hell.” 

“I have perfect control,” Taehyung says, unfazed as he snags Jeongguk’s hand into his own. Jeongguk doesn’t move when he brings it to his nose.

The slow way Taehyung speaks has him once again wondering if he can manipulate minds. Jin had said it was a thing he did before, but it’s never been confirmed as an ability all vampires have.

“Just enough for you to feel it,” Taehyung whispers, the tip of his nose ever so gently brushing over the thin skin of Jeongguk’s wrist.

They’re so close, Jeongguk knows Taehyung can practically feel the way his heart slams into his sternum or pulses in his wrist as Taehyung’s eyes go black and his fangs sprout from his gums. 

Jeongguk doesn’t pull back even when Taehyung guides his wrist closer to his mouth.

“Might make you less tense,” Taehyung breathes, and it has the opposite effect. Everything in Jeongguk tenses when Taehyung’s mouth parts over his wrist when he brings them together.

There’s no pain. Jeongguk doesn’t even think he’s using his teeth when Taehyung mouths over the veins there and sucks his skin into his mouth. It’s such an odd place to kiss like this, for humans maybe, but Jeongguk’s stomach swoops at the feeling.

It doesn’t help that the moaning from inside the room reaches his peak, and Jeongguk can tell the exact moment the donor comes. The same time Taehyung groans as he licks over Jeongguk’s skin. 

“Stop,” Jeongguk says, yanking his hand down and away from Taehyung’s mouth, his ears throbbing with the sound Taehyung made. 

Taehyung’s mouth seems a bit slack at first, a dazed look on his face before he blinks and it turns blank and casual. “Just saying. You want it, ask.”

“I don’t,” Jeongguk replies, because he doesn’t. His breath comes out shakier than he likes. 

“I can sense you got aroused, Guk. It’s fine,” Taehyung says, though there’s a bit of a distant look on his face as he pushes away from the wall and knocks on the door again. “That was the point. To show you it feels good. It’s also safe. Everyone here has perfect control.”

The door pulls open roughly, and Jeongguk stays to the side, hidden from view and so he won’t see the donor inside.

“What?” It’s Jimin. “You have your own human.”

Irritation fills Jeongguk, he takes a step back, knowing he’s going to fuck up his deal with Taehyung and end up locked away in his room again if he doesn’t.

Taehyung side eyes him. “Jeongguk wants to talk to the donor.”

Jimin peeks his head out and around the corner a second later. His eyes widen at the sight of him, and he lifts his nose and sniffs the air.

“Were you two -”

“Now, Jimin,” Taehyung commands, arms crossing over his chest. 

“Alright, alright,” Jimin huffs in annoyance, and he steps out of the room a second later.

Jeongguk doesn’t hide his glare, the way his fists form. Yoongi’s right behind Jimin, giving Jeongguk the same look back.

Jimin however, looks hesitant.

“Come on, Gukkie,” Taehyung says, stepping in front of him and grabbing Jeongguk’s shoulder despite his no touching rules. “You’re gonna have to forgive Jimin soon. I’m happy he changed me.”

“I won’t because I’m not,” Jeongguk says, but he rips his eyes away from the pair to go into the room.

The donor is panting heavily, a blissed out look on his face. The wounds on his neck are barely noticeable until Jeongguk sits where Yoongi had been and can see each puncture wound in his neck. 

“Jeongguk, this is Matthew. Came all the way from America for this.”

Matthew blinks his eyes open. “Nice to meet you. I need a break right now, if that’s okay alpha.”

Taehyung nods as he sits across from him and pats Matthew fondly on the forehead. “Of course. You’re free to roam any part of the house except my corridor. It’s the one that looks like the forest. Jeonggukkie here just wanted to meet you.”

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose at how soft Taehyung speaks as he trails his knuckles down the man’s face.

It worsens the images in his head.

When Taehyung stands up as if he may leave, alarm fills Jeongguk enough that it causes Taehyung to look at him with a questioning gaze. 

Jeongguk shakes his head and waits for Taehyung to depart.

“Where are we?” Jeongguk whispers immediately, touching the man’s chin.

His eyes are alert, but he still breathes heavily. “I dunno man.”

“How did you get here then?” Jeongguk asks, annoyed.

Matthew furrows his brows. Maybe Jeongguk’s starting to believe what Taehyung said about venom and its effect. “I don’t know. I was visiting family in Korea when I met Jimin, and he flew me out to Narito National Airport. I was blindfolded most of the way here.”

Narito National Airport. Jeongguk’s heart thumps harder. He’s in Japan?

He says as much, mind wracking. Had he been out that long after he was injured? 

Namjoon will never think to look in Japan unless he’s given a reason to. They barely look outside of Seoul, let alone the country. They have no connections in Japan. 

“I’m assuming so, yeah,” Matthew says, eyes falling closed again as he sighs out blissfully. “I know we took a boat at one point.”

“I need you to do me a favor,” Jeongguk says, hands coming out in front of him to use them to explain. He vaguely remembers Hoseok mentioning something about a boat. “When you leave-”

“I’m here to stay,” Matthew says, cutting him off. “Got me a full time gig.”

Jeongguk tries his best not to be judgemental over some things, but he can’t hide the disgust that takes over his face again. Disappointment fills him. “Why the hell would you want to do that?”

Matthew twists his head to the side, gazing over him. “Is that not why you’re here? Or are you a vampire too? I can’t tell.”

It’s an insult for him to even consider Jeongguk as one, but Matthew seems somewhat dazed. “No. I’m not a vampire nor do I let them use me for blood.”

Matthew waves a dismissive hand, unbothered. “It’s not using me if I get something in return, man. Leave me alone and send Taehyung back in.”

Jeongguk pushes up on his toes. He wanted to see if the donor would send a message out to Namjoon, but he didn’t expect he’d be staying . 

The only thing Jeongguk wants is to be as far away from this nest as possible, and Matthew’s willingly keeping himself here. 

The door isn’t fully shut, and Jeongguk isn’t surprised that Taehyung’s right there the moment he steps out of it. He doesn’t say anything, but he follows after Jeongguk as Jeongguk storms off in the direction of his bedroom.

“What was the favor?”

Jeongguk forgot vampires have heightened senses. “None of your business. Matthew wants you to go back in there.”

“If you need anything, you can just ask me,” Taehyung goes on, annoyed sounding as he follows Jeongguk down the hallway and ignoring Matthew’s request. “We can go into town together in a bit. When you are more trustworthy.”

Jeongguk can’t help but laugh as he skips around the corner and into the fake forest hallway. “Trustworthy? Really are you that daft? You’re keeping me hostage -”

Something hard hits his back, his stomach swooping as the hallway blurs around him. It’s just a second, barely enough to even register the fact they’re moving before his back is pushed up against his bedroom door.

Taehyung crowds him to it, their bodies touching everywhere. Despite Jeongguk’s part of the bargain, he doesn’t even try to shove him off though his defenses rise. Fight mode activated, but he doesn’t make a move.

Part of him knows, believes that Taehyung isn’t going to hurt him. They used to do this all the time. Get on each other’s nerves, shove each other back, get into the other’s face when they argued. 

“Listen,” Taehyung breathes, pointing his finger in Jeongguk’s face. The word comes out like a plea. “I’m not keeping you hostage here. I’m keeping you safe, and I’m making sure you don’t kill me.”

Jeongguk snorts. He wishes Taehyung didn’t have super hearing because he can’t calm his heart down. It’s so fast he can practically hear the blood rushing in his veins attempting to keep up with it. 

“Like you said, hunters die young, Taehyung. It was alright for Namjoon to think I’m dead, but not you?” 

“I told you we are well known,” Taehyung whispers as he presses an elbow into the door beside Jeongguk’s head to cage him further. “You’ve killed a lot of vampires, their mates, their parents, highly respected ancients. They know your name, and some of them are looking to end you. They’ve gotten really close to doing so.”

Nerves flare up inside of Jeongguk. It isn’t fear, though he has been afraid of that happening before. An alpha breaking into their bunker to kill them for wiping out their entire clan. He just didn’t realize how likely it was to happen right now.

“It will start a war with my clan if they do,” Taehyung goes on, his breath now tickling Jeongguk’s cheek as he gently places a hand against the side of Jeongguk’s neck. “And I’m looking to keep the peace. So if you don’t want to see it as me saving your life, then whatever. See me as selfish. It’ll only make you more miserable thinking you’re being held hostage when you’re perfectly free.”

Jeongguk grips at Taehyung’s plaid shirt, holding him there. “Why do you care so much if I die?”

Taehyung moves so their noses nearly touch, their eyes connected. There’s minimal space between their mouths, and Jeongguk reminds himself some vampires can seduce in a way that seems like a magical ability. Radiate something that makes a human want them without question. He wouldn’t be surprised if Taehyung had the ability, because it feels like it. The moment Jeongguk realizes he doesn’t want to push Taehyung off, how hyper fixated he becomes on the proximity of their mouths.

“What a stupid question,” Taehyung says, and the words drip from his lips like he’s doing just that. Trying to seduce him. Even his black eyes don’t make Jeongguk want to push him off right now. “You’re smart, Jeon. You should know by now that finding Jimin wasn’t the only reason I stayed at that bunker.”

Jeongguk breathes in slowly. He can’t move as that dazed look takes over Taehyung’s face again when his nostrils flare with his inhale. He said something about having control, but this looks far from it.

He’s never let a vampire get this close to him. Only once did a vampire pin him down with his teeth bared, but they looked more animalistic than dazed. Perfectly alert as they bared their teeth while Taehyung looks like the air outside, expression hazy. And the vampire at the bar. Neither like this.

“What do you mean?” Jeongguk demands to know, but his soft tone also makes it sound like a plea.

Taehyung doesn’t reply as he leans in, and Jeongguk can’t move. His heart racing, he closes his eyes when he feels Taehyung’s breath tickle against his jaw. “You were the reason, Guk. Why else?”

It isn’t true. Human Taehyung was only at the bunker because he needed Namjoon’s tracking ability. This Taehyung’s only saying it to get Jeongguk to bend, to give in. To do something, Jeongguk isn’t sure. He can’t figure out what the hell he wants.

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk gasps as the pressure against his body becomes more, until he feels squashed against the door. “What are you doing?”

“You don’t know,” Taehyung says, and he sounds just as dazed as Matthew had, “How good you fucking smell.”

Jeongguk squeezes his eyes closed. There’s a mix of disgust and something else inside of him. Something that makes Jeongguk want to tilt his head to the side. 

“Good, I hope it tortures you,” Jeongguk tries, pressing against where he holds Taehyung’s body to press him back. Or he attempts to, until he feels Taehyung’s mouth touch the curve of his neck. 

“It does,” Taehyung says, and it practically sounds like a moan before his lips press down until Jeongguk fully feels it.

Arousal sparks inside of Jeongguk, and it doesn’t go easy on him. It spreads through him like a wildfire, makes his fist tug Taehyung’s shirt forward instead of pushing back.

He blames whatever manipulation Taehyung is using on him.

The five years he’s spent wanting Taehyung, another Taehyung. His imagination and the thoughts of them together whenever he got the chance to be alone and touch himself. 

Taehyung mouths over him hotly, but it’s barely even a kiss. Just hovers his mouth over him, and it feels this good. The nerves sparking inside of Jeongguk from arousal rather than fear, his skin erupting in goosebumps as his legs spread to fit Taehyung better between them. To feel Taehyung against his body the way he’s always wanted to.

“If you do this, I’ll always hate you,” Jeongguk says, speaking to the both of them because he knows how much he’d hate himself if he let Taehyung bite him. Even just this makes him feel weak. 

Taehyung hesitates for a moment, breathing over him, before he slowly pulls back.

He looks like a monster. Worse than he had a moment ago. His skin takes on a color that Jeongguk’s never seen before, not quite translucent or pale but enough to see the blue veins beneath through it. Slithering up his neck and into his face. His teeth bared and sticking out of his mouth, even more so when Taehyung sucks his bottom lip into it. 

They’re long, longer than Jeongguk’s ever seen.

“Sorry,” Taehyung murmurs, mouth opening around a harsh breath before he pulls away. His expression doesn’t change at all, even when he puts even more space between them. He pants like it’s difficult, head shaking at himself but the look doesn’t leave his face. “Go in your room and lock the door, Guk.”

Jeongguk moves without question. 

It’s Hoseok that brings Jeongguk his dinner. There’s a brightness in his skin that Jeongguk hadn’t noticed was missing before, and he tries not to show how squeamish he is by the fact Hoseok drank someone’s blood.

He talks so often with the half human that sometimes Jeongguk forgets he’s also half vampire.

“Can I eat with you?” Hoseok asks as he raises the tray to show off that there’s double the amount of food than there normally is. “Taehyung never makes steak. What’d he do to you?”

Jeongguk hesitates, mouth falling open around nothing. “What?”

“He sent Jimin out to get the best, most expensive steak on a whim despite doing a grocery run last week. It seems to me this is an apology steak,” Hoseok explains as he moves the tray in and makes himself comfortable on the floor despite Jeongguk never telling him it’s okay. “Spill.”

Jeongguk sits across from Hoseok. He doesn’t actually care if he stays. He could use the distraction because his mind has been plagued since he shut the door.

He won’t let himself think about the fact that he doesn’t think he would have stopped Taehyung from biting him if he let him touch him longer. It doesn’t sit well with him.

Neither does the thought that it seemed as if Taehyung hadn’t meant to touch him like that.

“Can I ask you something?” Jeongguk starts, rubbing his hands over his thighs. The food smells divine, but he doesn’t think he’ll be able to eat. “Vampires have different powers, right? What about this clan?”

Hoseok nods, not having the same problem as him as he immediately starts cutting the meat up. “Yep. Jimin’s a telekinetic.” He stops, glancing sheepishly at the hand Jeongguk cups his knee with and the scars still on his wrist from when Jimin broke it. “Uh, and Yoongi’s got this thing going on with the weather. Whenever Jimin’s gone for longer than he’s supposed to, it gets really hazy outside. He can’t really change it, but you can tell when his mood affects it.”

Jeongguk nods like he’s interested. He thinks about Namjoon again, if  he knows this. He would be interested by it. He doesn’t see what evolutionary advantage controlling the weather has, but at this point, he isn’t surprised. “And Taehyung?”

Hoseok doesn’t respond as he shoves a big piece of steak into his mouth and waves at it for Jeongguk to take some. Jeongguk doesn’t even pretend to, even when Hoseok cuts off a piece and practically flings it at him.

“If you’re doing this starving yourself thing again,” Hoseok starts, warning in his tone that Jeongguk doesn’t buy. “Just please don’t. Stresses me out.”

“I’m not. I just don’t feel like eating right now.”

Hoseok studies his face for a moment before he sighs. “Fine. If it wasn’t steak, I’d argue. But I kind of want to eat it all myself anyway.”

Jeongguk almost smiles at that. “Taehyung’s powers?”

“He’s an alpha,” Hoseok says as if this is enough of an answer. “And he’s a really powerful one. His list of abilities is endless. But you’ve grown up studying vampires, you should know this.”

Leaning back, Jeongguk rests on his palms and watches as Hoseok eats his food. It’s definitely an apology meal because it’s what Jeongguk makes for Namjoon whenever he’s fought with him. “Yeah, well.”

Hoseok peers curiously at him as he points his utensil down at the steak. “Is this about whatever Taehyung did that needs an apology?”

“There’s no apology needed,” Jeongguk assures him. He doesn’t want anyone else to know what happened in the hallway, though they’d have no right to judge him for it. He doesn’t care if they do, he just doesn’t want anyone to know.

They might take it as a weakness, use it against him. 

“I’m gonna find out,” Hoseok declares simply. “So you might as well tell me.”

Jeongguk laughs lightly. “It’s nothing, Hoseokie.”

It’s instant the way Hoseok lights up. He shines even brighter now as he smiles, nose wrinkling because of it. “ Hoseokie . Finally. I’m breaking you down brick by brick, my friend.”

Jeongguk doesn’t respond. It feels like Hoseok isn’t the only one. “If I’m going to stay here, tell me at how risk I am to suddenly be drained by one of you?”

Offense fills Hoseok’s face immediately, his mouth forming into a grimace that shows off the chewed food in his mouth. “Not at all at risk. Vampires who can’t control themselves is a myth made up by your lot to give another reason to justify your prejudisms. You haven’t eaten much today, but you’re not scarfing down this meal in front of you, are you?” 

Jeongguk frowns at him. He’s always been taught that. That unless learned to control themselves, vampires drain everything in sight. They go on killing sprees, care only about two things and that’s feeding and surviving. “If you’re just saying that to make me feel better, save it. I want the truth.”

“It is,” Hoseok grunts firmly. “If it wasn’t, you’d be dead. Most of us haven’t fed since before you’ve gotten here and no one has wanted to feed from you.”

Jeongguk looks over Hoseok, at how flustered he seems like Jeongguk’s hurt his feelings. “You have all that medical equipment but can’t get blood?”

Hoseok rolls his eyes as he licks the steak grease from his lips. “We do. But not enough to feed five vampires on a regular basis. Whenever we get it, the hyungs usually give it to Jimin and I.” 

“So you’re weak then.”

Hoseok shakes his head, laughing lightly. “No. Don’t get any ideas. Is that why you asked?”

For a moment, Jeongguk wants to be truthful. To talk about something just because it’s been bothering him since he left Taehyung in the hallway. “No. Taehyung seemed to struggle not to bite me. Got this glazed over look in his eyes.”

Hoseok stills immediately, mouth falling open as his hand hovers in the air mid bringing more food up to it. He seems to pale as he laughs nervously and places the steak ever so gently back into the plate. 

“Ah,” Hoseok says, laughing again. It sounds as awkward as Hoseok becomes, body tensing and moving slow like he doesn’t know what to do with it. “Oh, well. Yeah. That’s. Different. He wouldn’t actually - without your consent. I swear my life on that. It’s not lack of control. It’s well. It’s different.”

“How?” Jeongguk asks, trying to keep his voice light instead of showing his impatience. “It seemed like he was using some kind of mind manipulation thing on me to make me accept it.”

“Aha,” Hoseok goes on again, panic in his eyes as he stands up on his feet. He shakes his head continuously. “No, it’s nothing like that. It’s not. Don’t think so poorly of him, please. It’s just - ah, do you hear that? I think Yoongi’s calling me to help water the plants. It’s his fault there’s so many but - if you’d excuse me.”

Jeongguk tries to jump to his feet and stop him, but Hoseok turns into a blur before there’s the sound of the door opening and closing. 

Jeongguk is restless. His thoughts bother him. They’re no longer easy to keep quiet, even when he tries to busy himself on the computer that has no internet connection  and only games, or read some of the books that are left in the room. 

It makes him impatient. He wants to do as Taehyung suggested and punch his frustration into his door until Taehyung opens it, and Jeongguk can take it out on him instead.

Demand to know what Hoseok meant, and why he was so nervous about it. Jeongguk doesn’t believe Taehyung didn’t manipulate him somehow. He can’t. 

If he did, he’d have to think if that meant Jeongguk wanted it, and he didn’t . Wouldn’t ever. 

He’s pacing at the foot of his bed, contemplating whether he should break down the door when a knock comes from it. He falls still, heart racing but it doesn’t open.

A few seconds go by, then a minute. Another knock doesn’t come, and there’s no sound of it being unlocked.

Jeongguk hovers his hand over the doorknob, listening carefully but there’s nothing. He’s surprised when the doorknob gives, when the door pulls from the doorframe an inch.

It wasn’t locked from the outside.

He peers into the hallway, but it’s empty. Confusion and alarm fill Jeongguk, growing worse when he finds a wooden box at the foot of his door.

Bending low, Jeongguk takes it into his hand. It looks to be handmade, intricate designs carved in the curbed top. 

The initials KTH inscribed over the lock in the front.

Jeongguk considers taking advantage of the empty hallway, but he doubts it isn’t a trap. Jin could be at the end of it, tricking Jeongguk to try and escape so he has a reason to kill him.

He sinks back into the room, box in hand. He locks the inside knob before he makes his way to his bed and rests the box on it.

It feels daunting. Jeongguk’s hesitant like there’s something inside that might jump out and attack him. He doesn’t know why, it’s just a box. Looks to be a jewelry box of some sort.

It is, Jeongguk thinks as he eases the top back and takes in the silver inside. The rows of rings, the pile of bracelets, the thick choker Jeongguk’s seen before.

It’s Taehyung’s silver.

All of it, even some Jeongguk hasn’t seen before and doesn’t know where they would go. 

It hurts. It feels like there’s a crack in his chest as he takes one band he remembers Taehyung always wearing on his middle finger because that’s the one he’s most familiar with. It makes his throat tight as he slips it onto his own hand and finds it fits. 

He puts all of them on, all the ones he can. Until his hands are covered and his wrists are heavy from the bracelets.

Until the box is almost empty except for Taehyung’s body piercings and a piece of paper tucked beneath where the bracelets were.

For you. They always made me feel safe. It’s all I want you to feel here. - Taehyung

Jeongguk crumbles the piece of paper into one hand and tosses it. Anger fills him again because if Taehyung wanted him to feel safe, he’s doing a bad fucking job at it.

It feels like this box is given to him to mock him, but Jeongguk wants it. Wants Taehyung’s jewelry because all of his memories of him he’s wearing them. This vampire can’t, doesn’t. It’s not his Taehyung.

Jeongguk curls on the bed and holds his now covered hands to his chest and tries to push against it until the pressure in it releases. 

In the morning, the door still isn’t locked. Jeongguk tests it out after he showers and secures Taehyung’s choker around his throat. He still doesn’t trust it.

But the morning comes and goes, and no one ever brings him his breakfast. Or comes to get him to walk around the house.

Senses on high alert, Jeongguk decides to risk it. He’s tentative in the way he makes his way down the hall, waiting for any sign that this is a trap. For Jin to pop out.

The ache in his stomach is enough to keep pushing him forward though. He hadn’t eaten the night before, barely did at all during the day, and now it’s past noon. 

Both hallways are clear. Jeongguk’s nerves don’t relax though as he steps into the balcony that looks over the living room. 

It’s occupied. Yoongi sits on one of the couches, a series of notebooks on the coffee table in front of him. Hoseok’s on another one, his giggle floating through the open room.

Both of their eyes snap towards Jeongguk the moment he takes a breath. 

“Morning, sleepy pie,” Hoseok calls, waving a hand above his head. “You hungry? I made lunch, and let me tell you, it’s excelente . Call me Chef Boy ar - you a good cook.” 

Jeongguk still hesitates, hair sticking up at the back of his neck. Yoongi watches his every step as Hoseok rushes from the living room in the direction of the kitchen.

“We’re not going to attack you,” Yoongi tells him with a shake of his head as he looks at one of his notebooks. “Taehyung’s right in the other room there, and he’d be on me in a second if I even tried.”

Jeongguk tries to pretend he isn’t waiting to be killed at any moment as he descends the staircase. He looks to the direction where Yoongi’s nodded his head to. The same place Jeongguk first saw Taehyung when he came here.

“Not that I would anyway,” Yoongi goes on. “As long as you don’t pose a danger to us, I don’t have any reason to. I’m actually really nice to people who don’t threaten to kill the love of my life every three and a half seconds.”

Jeongguk doesn’t comment. This has to be a trick. His nerves disappear when aggravation takes over, and he doesn’t stop himself from storming into the room he thinks Taehyung is in. Even if it means giving Yoongi his back.

He wants Taehyung to stop playing with him, and it’s on the tip of his tongue, but he swallows it down when he spots him.

He’s with Matthew, his long fingers wrapped around one side of his neck as he mouths at the other side. Matthew gripping tightly into his shirt, ecstacy on his face.

Taehyung doesn’t give any indication that he knows he’s being watched, but Jeongguk still finds the way he slides his hand down Matthew’s chest and to his stomach purposeful. Almost low enough to meet the hand Matthew has on his lap, fingers moving and stopping like he’s trying not to touch himself. 

Jeongguk storms back out of the room without word, his face like fire. It grows when he hears Yoongi’s laughter. It’s a quiet thing that doesn’t last as Jeongguk storms through the living room and yanks open the front door. 

“Where do you think you’re going, hunter?”

Yoongi’s in front of him in a second, arms stretching out towards each side of the door frame.

Behind him, the sun shines brightly. Jeongguk can smell the heat of it. 

“Thought I’d eat some of those vegetables of yours. Really liked the cherry tomatoes”

Yoongi’s nose flares as he leans his head towards him. “You eat them, I eat you.”

It’s risky, reckless. Maybe Jeongguk does actually have a death wish. Standing toe to toe with a vampire that has hatred in his eyes. Who would probably do just that. Eat him.

If his alpha hadn’t ordered him not to.

Jeongguk presses his hand into the side of Yoongi’s face to shove him aside. Each finger wrapped with bands of silver.

Yoongi grunts in pain, whipping his hand up to tug Jeongguk’s off. Nails digging into the back of his hand to do so, and it hurts. But he’s successful in getting Yoongi to step aside.

“Fucker. Don’t fucking touch my tomatoes,” Yoongi grunts, but he doesn’t come after him when Jeongguk hops down the stone steps. 

No one does. 

So Jeongguk walks forward, down the driveway that stretches into the horizon and seems miles long.

Trap or not, Jeongguk would rather die underneath the sun instead of a fucking vampire’s nest.

There’s water. Jeongguk smells it before he sees it. The forest goes right up to the shore and stepping into the sand, gives him a view to just how wide it is. The trees lining the sand like a barrier as far as he can see.

The shore is crescent, the other side coming out to a point. Jeongguk feels tired from walking, from having not eaten yet. He’s been walking for hours it seems, his feet and legs sore. He finds relief in kicking his slippers off and sitting in the wet sand, letting the water crash up against his bare feet.

Jeongguk’s confused, untrusting. He plays with the silver bands on his fingers as he tries to figure out what to do next. He closes his eyes, imagines Taehyung in his hunting gear. A smirk on his lips as he talks shit, voice barely above a whisper. The serious set of his eyebrows when they discuss what they’re going to do. 

It doesn’t make sense for Taehyung to so suddenly unlock his door, to let him walk out freely and keep walking. 

Unless he wanted Jeongguk to see there’s nothing around. For miles. Just trees and land and sea. 

To show him how trapped he is.

Jeongguk sighs as he falls back into the wet sand and stares up at the blanket of blue above him until his eyes water. 

It’s been forever since he’s gone to the ocean. He doesn’t mind the way the water soaks his clothes, when it rises and the waves reach his hair. It makes him think of his parents because he had been that young. 

Young enough for his father to still be able to lift him up and dunk him beneath the surface. For him to hold both him and Namjoon in his arms as he moved through the water.

“Who are you?”

Jeongguk flies up to his feet at the unfamiliar voice. A woman’s. She walks barefoot through the sand, her long silver hair whipping around her waist from the wind. She has a curious expression on her face, but a bad feeling twists in Jeongguk’s gut.

He didn’t hear her coming. Could be normal due to the sounds of the beach, but his eyes drop to her chest and it isn’t moving. 

“Who are you?” Jeongguk asks back, going for casual as he steps away from the water. It’s harder to run in, but so is sand. And dirt with bare, wet feet. 

The woman tilts her head to the side, her hands clasping behind her back. “You’re Jeon Jeongguk, aren’t you? What a small world.”

Alarm fills Jeongguk, and he slowly takes a step back as she takes one forward. “It’s quite large, actually. I believe it has a circumference of like, twenty five thousand miles.” 

She smiles, a soft giggle leaving her lips as she drops her eyes to watch the way her toes curl into the sand. “I went to the Academy with you and your brother.”

“I don’t remember,” Jeongguk says, trying to sound apologetic. He feels ridiculous holding his slippers out as if he could really do any damage with them if she were to lunge. But his gut instincts are right. No one at the Academy thought him and Namjoon were brothers. It’s clearly a lie. 

He just said he knows the circumference of the Earth. How can she think he’s stupid enough to fall for that?

“I’m sorry,” Jeongguk goes on. “What are you doing all the way out here?”

Jeongguk has no idea where they even are, and hopes his assumptions that they’re in Japan are true. 

“There’s a nest on this island,” she explains. “It hasn’t been easy to find. We’ve scanned nearly every inch of the island. Wanted a break by the ocean.”

The forest is too dense for people. The other side wide open, but Jeongguk hadn’t seen a single thing his entire way here. No sign of other people, of life.

Plus, the nest is to the left of them and straight ahead for a few miles. The house so large it is hard to miss. There’s no way they could have.

“How many are there of you?” Jeongguk asks conversationally, his feet hitting dry sand. It burns from the sun, which is his advantage. 

She sighs, head cocking to the side. Her earrings are all gold, as is the necklace laying over her chest. No silver. It could mean nothing.

It could. The thought barely enters Jeongguk’s mind before he’s proven it means everything.

The soft smile on her face abruptly turns into a scowl. Black swallowing her eyes. One moment she’s a few meters away and the next, her body is hitting into Jeongguk’s.

Jeongguk swings his slipper, but he’s fucked. Body slamming into the ground, the wind rushing from him. He’s quick though, legs locking around her body to slam her back into the sand.

She snarls, the sound ripping through the beach as Jeongguk presses his hand into her jaw and shoves her head in the sand. The skin burning beneath his fingers. Weakened by the sun, he could take her with his bare hands. He could. One of the silver necklaces around his throat could be enough to slice through her neck, but it seems impossible to be able to take it off in time.

He thinks he’s losing some of his touch as the world flips, and he’s back in the sand. Nails digging into his face, cutting through his skin. Panic swells up inside of him as he struggles beneath her. 

He can’t breathe. Even using all of his strength, he can’t push her off again. 

“We’ve been looking for you, hunter. The very last Jeon.”

Maybe he’s had a death wish, but not like this. Not with her mouth pressing down against his neck. Her teeth grazing into his skin.

She’s off of him so suddenly, that Jeongguk doesn’t register it at first. Still pressing his hands up into the air, fighting at nothing until the sound of a splash makes him realize.

Jeongguk scrambles up to his feet. Hand patting over his neck to make sure she didn’t bite him. It’s only his face, throbbing but he can feel the blood slipping down his skin. 

Once again, Jeongguk’s terrified. He has no way to defend himself. He’s confused as to what happened, where she went until she emerges from the ocean.

Meters and meters away.

A body pushes into his as the vampire speeds out of the ocean, water flying up beside her from the speed. Pushes into him so hard, Jeongguk nearly falls back into the sand but an arm comes around to hold onto him.

“Back off,” Taehyung growls.

The vampire spits the ocean water from her mouth. “I told you I was coming for him, Kim. I told you yours would die by my hands.”

“We don’t want a clan war,” Taehyung seethes, shoving Jeongguk back more. “Go home now or take another step and lose your head.”

The vampire laughs, sharp teeth showing as her lips pull back. “I will rip his heart out for what she did to me.”

It’s something Jeongguk’s seen a thousand times. Taehyung killing a vampire. But never like this. A snarl leaving his lips, eyes black. Veins standing out of his neck. His fist breaking into her chest like it’s nothing.

The sound of it is sickening. 

It happens so quick, Jeongguk blinks and feels as if he’s missed everything. Her unmoving on the ground as Taehyung stands above her, an organ in his hand.

He throws it down at her, panting hard. 

It’s silent. Taehyung’s covered in blood. His hand, his forearm. Specks across his yellow blouse that he doesn’t seem to care about as he wipes his hand across it. 

Neither one of them speak. Taehyung crouches down, elbows resting against his knees. He doesn’t even look at Jeongguk.

“I was handling it.”

Taehyung snorts, glancing around at Jeongguk. “Yeah, you were doing a great job.” 

Jeongguk shifts on his feet. He hates feeling powerless, that Taehyung could use this against him. He can protect himself just fine. Most times. He doesn’t need Taehyung coming to his rescue.

“I’m not going to thank you.”

“Don’t need you to,” Taehyung grunts as he picks up the body into his arms and walks it into the water. “Been wanting to kill her for some time. Just never had a reasonable excuse to.”

Confusion fills him. He doesn’t want to be here, but he has nowhere to go. It was becoming apparent to him while he sat on the shore that his only option is to go back to the nest. To prepare to leave rather than just doing it on a whim.

He only had slippers on. No weapons. No food. Hasn’t eaten in almost two days other than a few brownies. No idea where to go. 

If there even is anywhere to go. There must be a boat around if they’re the only thing here.

“She’s from an island that way,” Taehyung says as he returns to the sand, arm waving in no general direction. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I hope she didn’t know you were here.”

Stress fills Taehyung’s expression, the veins still in his neck as he storms off in the direction of the house.

“Taehyung, wait.”

Taehyung whips around, head shaking rapidly. “Listen, Jeongguk. One of the reasons I spread the word about your death is so vampires won’t come looking for you either. I have to get back and see why she was here. That finding you was an accident.”

He walks off again, quickly but not at a speed Jeongguk can’t keep up with. 

It doesn’t seem like an act, how upset Taehyung seems. Still breathing hard, the sound of his exhales getting stuck in his throat like he’s choking on them loud enough for Jeongguk to hear with his advanced human senses. 

Jeongguk doesn’t trust that it isn’t an act, some grand gesture to win Jeongguk over or make him forget that he almost bit him the day before. But it just doesn’t seem like one.

“Was this a trap?” Jeongguk snaps as soon as the thought hits his mind. “Let me free to put on some grand show to win me over?”

Taehyung laughs, the sound of it twisted. “Fuck off. I’ve constantly told you not to go anywhere without me. You did that on your own, Jeon.”

“Well why was my door unlocked?” Jeongguk continues, wanting to shove Taehyung again. 

“It has been,” Taehyung snarls like he’s tired. “All week. You’re the one that locks it, no one else.”

Jeongguk wracks his mind. He doesn’t know how true that is, but he doesn’t remember Hoseok locking the door now that Taehyung points it out.

“And I’ve been waiting for you to notice,” Taehyung goes on, walking faster. “I asked Hoseok to skip bringing you breakfast so you finally would, that’s the only reason. Hoseok was bringing it to you because he figured you didn’t feel comfortable eating with all of us, but I realized why it makes you feel like a hostage.”

Jeongguk shakes his head in disbelief. “You expect me to believe that? All this talk about protecting me and not going anywhere without you, and you just let me walk right out the front door?”

Taehyung whips around them, nostrils flaring as he steps into Jeongguk’s space. He forces himself into it, so close that Jeongguk can smell the blood on him. “I want you around me. To see I’m not a monster. To make sure you don’t go and try to kill one of my clan, because I’m responsible for them and bringing someone like you around them is putting them at a huge risk. I don’t care if you walk around the goddamn island because we’re usually protected.”

Jeongguk doesn’t lose his stance, even when Taehyung lifts a hand, and Jeongguk remembers how easily he had pulled the vampire’s heart out. The blood covering it is a reminder of that. 

Vampires are ten times stronger than humans, yet Taehyung had done it easily. Even with the sun beating down on them, weakening him. A true show of just how strong he really is.

“No one comes here without us knowing,” Taehyung explains, the edge in his tone softening to sound more annoyed than pissed. “There’s wards up. I only came in search of you because when Jimin informed me someone had entered the island. I don’t care if you want to explore every inch of it.”

Jeongguk breathes hard. “I don’t believe you.”

“I don’t care,” Taehyung says under his breath before he turns and storms off again. 

For a moment, Jeongguk’s stubbornness makes him stay put. He refuses to accept that it’s the only place he has to go for a moment. He hates that it is with a passion.

But he has to, so after a few minutes of glaring at Taehyung’s disappearing form, he storms after him. Not only does he have to go back to the nest eventually, he can’t actually risk being found by another vampire while still being unarmed. 

“Shit like this isn’t going to prove to me you’re not a monster, Taehyung.”

Taehyung just shakes his head, laughing under his breath. “I saved your life, Jeon. I’ve done the same thing a million times as a human.”

“Never ripped someone’s heart out with your bare hands.”

There’s a grin on Taehyung’s lips when he looks over his shoulder. “Decapitation got boring, I guess. And plus, you seem fond of my sword, and I didn’t want to take it from you. Had to learn a new method of fighting.”

He slows down enough to let Jeongguk catch up with him, no longer in a rush to get back to his nest. He doesn’t look calmer though, his skin still the same color it was the day before when he had that glazed over look. His eyes still black. His hands still fists.

“How did you know I was using your sword?” Jeongguk asks. Usually, he doesn’t leave a raid until every vampire is killed. There are times they’ve miscounted, or the entire clan hasn’t been in the nest, but they always kill the ones that are there.

“I didn’t think you were chopping off heads with that little knife of yours,” Taehyung says, amused. “I went to the bunker once. Saw it beside your bed.”

Nerves spark inside of Jeongguk. “Why did you come to the bunker?” he grits out, grabbing for Taehyung’s elbow.

“I left things there,” Taehyung replies, and Jeongguk can hear the eye roll in his tone. “And I just wanted to see you one more time.”

It makes him uncomfortable knowing Taehyung had been inside without him knowing. Without leaving any trace that he had been there. They were convinced he was dead, didn’t think to change the passcode to the bunker. To change the locks. 

Jeongguk hadn’t been able to handle going into Taehyung’s section of the bunker enough to even notice if anything had been missing.

“Why didn’t you take me then, huh?”

“I didn’t want to take you,” Taehyung says. “Honestly, I wouldn’t have ever let you know what I’ve become if it wasn’t for you being brought into my home nearly dead, Jeongguk.”

“Why not? Since you’re so determined for me to know it now.”

Taehyung turns back around then, letting out an exhale that sounds as broken as he looks. “I told you, I never wanted you to look at me with that hatred in your eyes. Now, I know it will change. That you’ll see. I don’t care if it takes until you’re eighty years old.”

Jeongguk shakes his head, poking Taehyung in the chest. “If that’s so, why did you try to manipulate me into letting you feed from me yesterday?”

Taehyung glares, his mouth moving like he’s licking over every single tooth. Tension builds around him, so thick it feels like Jeongguk’s suffocating from it. “I didn’t manipulate you. I haven’t experienced a reaction to someone like this before, and I lost myself in it for a second. I’m sorry. I’m trying my best not to let it happen again. Which means, please give me space because you’re bleeding right now, and it’s driving me crazy.”

That stumps Jeongguk, leaves him speechless though he doesn’t truly understand what Taehyung means by it. Taehyung says it with such an intense look on his face, that Jeongguk wants to believe it.

The lines between this Taehyung and his Taehyung are getting blurred. It’s easy to forget they’re two separate beings. Especially when Taehyung talks like this. 

“It’s hard for me,” Taehyung says weakly. “It’s never been hard for me.” 

“You said you have perfect control,” Jeongguk whispers back, but that feeling takes over him again. The one where he doesn’t want to move as Taehyung reaches up and rubs a thumb beneath where one of the vampire’s nails had dug into his skin. “Hoseok says it’s just a myth that vampires don’t.”

Taehyung nods, eyes focused on Jeongguk’s cheek. “I do. I’ve only ever killed one human before, and it wasn’t because I was feeding from them. I think it’s just because it’s you, Jeon.”

“What does that mean?” Jeongguk asks. He hates the feeling, but it’s also welcomed. Makes him want to take another step forward until there’s no space between them again. Especially when Taehyung’s eyes drop to his mouth again. “Taehyung.”

He lifts his hand up, though he doesn’t know what he wants to do with it. Shove Taehyung back, pull him closer. 

Taehyung takes Jeongguk’s hand and just holds it with his fingers digging into the back and a thumb pressed into his palm. Avoiding the silver bands. It hurts, though it isn’t a hard touch. But because Yoongi’s nails had broken the skin there too and it’s already starting to bruise. 

“I don’t know,” Taehyung murmurs, turning his hand to inspect the damage. “You used to tell me all the time you’d be the best I ever had. Annoying that you could say that about this too.”

Taehyung sighs as butterflies erupt in Jeongguk’s stomach at the implication of it. Though it’s different. Jeongguk meant fucking Taehung back then, he doesn’t really enjoy thinking he’s his best meal .

“It’s nourishment, yes,” Taehyung explains quietly, and Jeongguk takes in every word. He doesn’t know if he believes Taehyung isn’t doing something to him to make him react like this when a second ago he was ready to fight Taehyung. “We need it to survive. But it’s also intimate. Yoongi was trying to tell me about it last night because he experienced it with Jimin.” 

Taehyung’s mouth parts, tongue flicking out of his mouth. Jeongguk watches a bead of blood swell above Taehyung’s finger that presses beneath a nail mark.

It doesn’t hurt. It makes those butterflies worse. 

“I fed from Matthew even though I didn’t want to, hoping it would go away,” Taehyung says, and it’s Jeongguk that’s lifting his hand. Bringing it towards Taehyung’s mouth. “It didn’t work.”

It must be manipulation.

A spell.

Taehyung groans softly, tilting Jeongguk’s hand back against his lips. He just kisses it, lips closed. 

“I think it’s because you’re mine.”

Jeongguk rips his hand away suddenly, spell broken. Taehyung blinks rapidly like he’s surprised by it.  Trying to focus, come back to from whatever daze he goes into when they’re like this.

“I’m not yours,” Jeongguk says, heart thundering in his chest as he brings his hand up to it. “I’ll never be yours. Whatever the hell that even means.”

He means to storm off then, but Taehyung grabs his wrist. He doesn’t even let go as his hands wrap around the thick bands there and burn his skin. “I need help getting back home, please.”

Jeongguk wants to laugh, to tell Taehyung to fuck off, but he doesn’t. Not as he watches Taehyung fall to his knees. 

It’s not the same as the memories in his head. Not close, but it brings them back full force. Loud. Taehyung on his back. The pain Jeogguk felt in that moment. 

Memory is another part of survival, but for a long time it’s felt like this particular memory is leading Jeongguk to do anything but that. 

“No, no,” Jeongguk gasps, grabbing Taehyung’s forearms before he falls fully to the ground. It feels inhumanly fast the way he gets Taehyung into his arms.

But Jeongguk’s never felt so slow in his life as he runs back the rest of the distance to the mansion carrying him.

Chapter Text

“Idiot has barely eaten in two months. Uses all of his energy and tries to take a stroll on a day as sunny as this. Can’t believe it. He must be losing his mind, that’s why he’s been acting like a fucking moron since you got here.”

Jeongguk nibbles on his bottom lip as he watches Hoseok fuss around Taehyung. He’s exhausted himself. From everything. Not eating, exerting himself, from nearly dying. Then having to carry Taehyung back to the mansion.

“Two months? He said one.”

“Shut up and eat your food,” Hoseok says, waving a hand at Jeongguk to indicate the pizza he apparently made for breakfast. “Here, alpha-nim. Drink up.”

It doesn’t disgust Jeongguk as much as he’d expect it would when Hoseok brings the blood bag up and pats Taehyung’s face until his mouth falls open.

He looks dead. That’s what bothers Jeongguk the most. It’s worse than the images Jeongguk had from before. This time, he’s completely pale, unresponsive until now. Before, Jeongguk barely got to see any part of him but his profile, his crimson stained neck. His eyes were open.

“I understand you don’t want to be here,” Hoseok says lightly, glancing from Taehyung to him. “But really, you’re the safest here. Taehyung will tear down a whole village if he has to to protect you. And he has the power to. There’s a part of the house that is untouched if you want it so you never have to see us.”

Taehyung moans low as his hand flies up and grabs Hoseok’s wrist. Jeongguk has to look away. 

“I can handle myself,” Jeongguk says as he rips off a piece of pepperoni in a way that feels like he’s about to throw a fit. “I don’t need to be protected. I’m perfectly capable. I’m not going into hiding.”

“Taehyung’s killed over twenty vampires that found the location of your bunker.”

Jeongguk’s too tired to be any more annoyed even though he wants to be. He tries to ignore the new voice as he eats the pepperoni like it’s the one that’s upset him, but he can feel that he isn’t moving.

He turns, finding Jimin leaning in the doorway. 

“Kept them from killing you in your sleep,” Jimin goes on, his expression just as tired as he walks past Jeongguk to take the bag from Hoseok. “Everyone has moments where they’re defenseless. Where they mess up.”

“I never asked him to.”

Taehyung blinks his eyes open when the bag is nearly empty, and he seems to communicate with Jimin in a way that isn’t spoken out loud. Jimin nods, petting Taehyung’s cheek gently before he presses his wrist to Taehyung’s mouth.

Jeongguk can’t pull his eyes away as Taehyung’s knuckles go white around the back of Jimin’s hand. The white in his eyes disappearing as he moans. How Jimin grimaces  yet strokes Taehyung’s hair like he isn’t glaring down at him.

“You don’t have to,” Jimin says, a hiss in his tone. “That’s just what you do for people you love like that.”

It seems the freedom to be anywhere thing is true, Jeongguk thinks as he walks around the mansion and no one bothers him. No one stops him from peeking his head into different rooms, though he does get a firm warning from Jin not to step a foot into his bedroom. 

Jeongguk’s thankful because he’s restless and his mind is busy. With how tired he was the day before, he could barely sleep, and served to leave him even more exhausted today. But he hates just laying in bed being unable to fall asleep, so he’s been exploring.

He finds everyone’s personal hallways. Matthew’s room. The gym and library Taehyung mentioned. He finds places that look like offices, bedrooms that don’t look lived in. A game room that he lingers in longer than he’ll admit. 

Taehyung’s nowhere to be found for most of it. He finds a glaring Yoongi watering the plants in the kitchen that Jeongguk ignores to get lunch, and an excited Hoseok trying to paint the colorless drawings on his walls. 

It’s not until Jeongguk’s sure he touched every inch of the mansion, that Taehyung appears. 

“The vampire from yesterday wasn’t here for you. You were just a happy surprise,” Taehyung says, stepping into Jeongguk’s bedroom. He holds a phone out, one of those big clunky ones that are ancient. “So, you’re safe.”

“What is this?” Jeongguk asks, pointing to the phone.

Taehyung grins. He looks healthy now, even better than he had before yesterday. “This is what we call a cellphone, designed to be like the first ones. You were probably too young when those bad boys were out.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes as he grabs it. “You’re only two years older than me. I know it’s a phone. I meant what do you want me to do with it?”

Taehyung shrugs, lip pushing out. “I don’t care. I figured you’d want to call Namjoon at some point. It won’t seem right if you don’t try to reach out, even if you’re in hiding. It’ll be suspicious. If you’ve made any friends since then, I guess you could call them too. I don’t care. It’s just for you.”

Jeongguk’s heart swells in his chest. It isn’t that he’s excited or eager, those words don’t seem like enough to express how strong the surge of emotion is that goes through him at the prospect of talking to Namjoon.

“Can’t imagine you’d have more than him,” Taehyung teases, but the tone is off as he hesitates. “The only thing I ask, Guk, is that you don’t give him the names of anyone here. Please understand, they’re my responsibility and I have to protect them just like you.” 

The phone is as heavy as it looks. He can operate a smartphone with ease, but this dinosaur confuses him. “I’m not telling him you’re a vampire,” Jeongguk says as he thumbs over the numbers. “I don’t want his heart to break like mine had.”

Taehyung nods, lips pressing together tightly. He crosses his arms, holding onto his elbows like he’s hugging himself. “If you ever feel the need to hurt any of us, let it be me. Not them.”

Jeongguk looks over his face, at the seriousness in his expression. “We always said during a raid that even if we only killed one vampire, let it be the alpha.” 

He can’t say it outloud. That he doesn’t think he’d have the ability to kill Taehyung, even if he wanted to. Yesterday, he very easily could have. With how weak Taehyung was, unconscious. Far away enough from the mansion that even if the other vampires sensed it, Jeongguk could have him dead before they got there.

He didn’t even think of it. Only the pain he felt the day Taehyung died. 

But, he also won’t promise that he won’t hurt Jimin when he gets the chance. 

“How’s your hand?” Taehyung steps in further then, hand out hesitantly before Jeongguk gives him his own. 

It’s a light touch, Taehyung’s fingers tickling over his palm to keep his hand propped. A gentle grip around his knuckles. 

“Vampire blood has healing qualities if you ever want some,” Taehyung says so quietly that Jeongguk isn’t actually sure he’s speaking to him. “Makes these go away faster.”

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose. “They’re just superficial cuts.” 

“Ah, yeah. But they’ve ruined your pretty face,” Taehyung jokes, dropping his hand to brush his finger beneath the deep cut on Jeongguk’s cheek. Sliding over the scar he had gotten during the raid where he first saw Jimin. 

“Always knew you had a thing for me, Kim,” Jeongguk jokes back. He considers knuckle punching him gently in the shoulder, but he suddenly feels awkward and lets his hands hang by his sides instead.

Taehyung wags a brow at him as he slides his hand into his pocket. He doesn’t say anything though, just kind of looks at him for a moment before Jeongguk holds up the phone as if to indicate he’s going to use it now. 

“We have dinner together if you want to join,” Taehyung says as he retreats. “If not, I’ll save you a plate.”

Jeongguk would really rather not ever do that ever in his life, but he only nods as he starts to dial Namjoon’s phone number. 

His heart pumps faster in his chest when it starts to ring. It rings for a while, and Jeongguk worries for a moment that he’s changed his number before he hears Namjoon’s voice.

“K and J Body Auto. How can I assist you today?”

The feeling in Jeongguk is so strong that for a moment, he can’t speak. He’s never been away from Namjoon for an entire day, let alone a month.

“Hello?”

“Hyung.”

There’s a pause as Jeongguk sits on the bed. A long beat of silence before Namjoon’s voice comes again, this time rushed and a whisper.

“Jeongguk? Where are you? Are you okay? Eating?”

Jeongguk blinks his eyes closed. If he only knew how much Hoseok tried to feed him on a daily basis. “I’m okay. Are you?”

“Shit,” Namjoon wheezes. “It’s been shit, Guk. The bunker’s been compromised but Taeyong’s crew helped me get inside and get some of our things, though it had been ransacked. I got the picture of your parents, though. It’s so odd. None of the files were touched.”

It makes Jeongguk squeeze his eyes closed even harder. He knew Namjoon would be dumb enough to go back there and find it the most important thing to update him on, and he’s thankful he did. “Thank you, hyung.”

“I’m staying with Taeyong. There’s thirty of us here. So it’s safe. Don’t worry about your hyungie.”

Taeyong’s crew had been the one to help with the raid where Taehyung died. They’re good hunters, and Jeongguk’s relieved Namjoon’s with them. “Most communes don’t get that big.”

“I know, but the hunter population is growing in size quickly,” Namjoon replies, his voice louder now. “Not as nearly as quickly as the vampire one. Getting bitten takes a lot less time than training apparently.”

Jeongguk grins, staring at nothing. He wants to sit here and just listen to Namjoon talk. He kind of misses it, wishes he had appreciated it more when Namjoon would start going on his rants or speeches that touched so many different topics at one, it was hard to follow. But as much as he wants to do that, there’s something he needs to say first.

“Hyung, make sure you keep yourself safe.”

It’s also quiet for a moment. They always tell each other to stay safe before a raid, but this is different. Then, it’s always expected they’ll be together after a raid. Seeing and hearing someone you love are two different things. 

“I always do. We’ve yet to find a nest that’s anywhere as near as big as Taeyong’s crew,” Namjoon says, confident. “And they just. Well, they have techniques to level up the playing field.”

Jeongguk’s lips turn down into a frown. “What do you mean?”

Namjoon’s quiet for a few minutes, and Jeongguk can see his face. The way his head bobs and eyes roll when he’s trying to find the right words or ways to say something. “I guess hunters have been doing it for some time. If I could get in touch with my parents, I’d ask them if our commune did. Because I kind of remember -”

It’s been so long that Jeongguk wouldn’t mind listening to Namjoon’s ramblings up to the point, but that bad feeling returns in Jeongguk’s gut. “Spit it out, hyung.”

Namjoon sighs heavily, and he’s probably rubbing his hand down his face. Jeongguk misses him so much there’s a stabbing feeling in his chest. “They drink vampire blood.”

Jeongguk flies up into a sitting position. “What the fuck?”

“It works, Guk. Sharper senses, faster moves. Strength. It doesn’t even taste bad -”

“ You’ve tried it ?”

“Jeongguk,” Namjoon starts, tone soft and firm at the same time. Jeongguk’s always been amazed that he’s been able to pull that off. A demand to be listened to without making Jeongguk feel scolded. “It isn’t enough to risk being turned. Just used as an advantage. And it works.”

Jeongguk groans internally, flopping back on the bed. He’s imagining the things hunters may do to have access to it, and it’s aggravating him. As are the thoughts of Taehyung’s neck, but Jeongguk quickly shakes the thought out of his head.

“I’ll do almost anything to kill every sucker from that bar,” Namjoon goes on, even softer this time. “But I’m the behind the scenes kind of guy, so I’ve only done it a few times. I’m keeping safe.”

Jeongguk nibbles on the inside of his lip until he feels the skin start to peel off. A few times in one month is often, especially if they’re switching between that many hunters. “Whatever you say, hyung.” 

Namjoon huffs like he does right before he calls Jeongguk a brat . “I need you to do the same, alright?”

Jeongguk grunts playfully at that. “When have I ever been one not to play it safe?”

Namjoon’s laugh is sarcastic. “Right, but listen Guk, not everyone believes you’re dead. I haven’t told any of them that you reached out to me because I have a really bad feeling about this.”

Jeongguk hesitates, pulling the phone away from his face so Namjoon won’t hear his choked inhale. 

“We took down a nest last week, and the alpha kept going on about how he’s going to find you. That we can’t keep you hidden.” 

Jeongguk cusses quietly. “Hiding is a sign of weakness, Joon. I hate this.”

“It’s for Taehyung,” Namjoon says. “You have your reason to play it safe now.”

For a minute, Jeongguk had forgotten Taehyung had been dead. That Namjoon doesn’t know he’s not technically alive, because this is the first time they’ve ever gone their separate ways for Namjoon not to know what’s going on. 

“But it’s also for you,” Namjoon goes on. “It isn’t weak to hide. It’s all about survival, remember? Wait until this blows over, and we’ll find each other again, okay? I’ll take down every goddamn nest in South Korea to make sure we can reunite, alright?”

Jeongguk nods silently to himself. “Same here.”

Namjoon sighs. “I can’t talk long. There’s a huge meeting going on right now about some ancient vamp they think has been tracked. But tell Taehyung I’m happy he’s alive, alright?”

It’s difficult not to tell him. To lie and get Namjoon’s hopes up. He hopes Namjoon will just never find out, that once Jeongguk escapes he can say Taehyung really did die. 

The thought makes him uncomfortable again, and Jeongguk squeezes his eyes as tightly until it feels as if he’s forcing the thought to pop out of his mind. 

“And make sure you tell him you’re in love with him before one of you dies again, alright? This is your second chance.”

Jeongguk’s eyes fly open at that. “Goodbye, hyung. Save this number.” 

He hangs up at the sound of Namjoon’s laughter, the sound comforting to him as is the phone he rests on his chest. Just having it, access to Namjoon.

But Namjoon’s words keep his brain busier than Jeongguk would like. He eyes the cracked open door and hopes that  no one can hear him from the dining room.

“Get up, Jeon.”

Jeongguk flies up. Danger going off in his mind like an alarm. There’s no active thought in the way he gets in position. He just does it. Eyes half open as he flies from the bed and immediately slips his hand beneath the bed frame to get the knife he keeps there.

It’s then that he realizes he isn’t in the bunker, though the voice that had woken up feels just as much like home.

He’s perched against the windowsill when Jeongguk finds him, which is just wide enough for him to sit on. There’s a soft smile on his face as he wiggles his fingers in a wave.

It’s still dark outside. Just the start of the sun coming up from beneath the horizon. It makes a shadow fall upon Taehyung, especially due to his all black attire. 

“What the hell,” Jeongguk grunts, rubbing the sleep from his face. “What time’s it?”

“Early,” Taehyung says. “For you, I guess. I was wondering if you wanted to train with me?”

Jeongguk peers at him from behind his hands. Takes in his laxed position, what seems like general curiosity on his face. Perhaps even something excited. “What?”

“Jimin gave me some of his equipment to make up a training room for you, so you don’t have to go into his space for it. I also got some of your favorite books from his library if you want them,” Taehyung explains, his head tilting to the side. “But I was wondering if you wanted to train?”

Taking a step forward and closer to Taehyung, Jeongguk crosses his arms over his chest and arches a brow. He tries to not think about the fact that Taehyung noticed which books were his favorite. “Do I get a weapon?”

The laugh Taehyung lets out is airy. “Sure. But if you think I’m sparring with Seoul’s best, who hates losing to me, while he’s equipped with a silver blade, you got another thing comin’ babe.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, tongue jabbing in his cheek. “So this is you saying you’ll lose?”

It reminds him of before, the little competition they had going on. They both hate to lose and always tried to one up the other. During practice, during a raid. Taehyung makes the same mocked annoyed expression he used to. 

“This is me not being an idiot,” Taehyung clarifies, body twisting to angle towards the door. “So, you want to?”

“Why’d you wake me so early for it?”

Taehyung doesn’t wait for him to follow as he makes his way towards the door, and Jeongguk doesn’t acknowledge the fact that he does. 

“Because Yoongi’s going to sleep in a few hours, and I’d rather not wake him.” Taehyung cringes, even lets a shudder run through his body. “Hoseok nearly lost an arm last time, and Yoongi loves him more than anyone.”

“Should do the same to you for waking me up,” Jeongguk says lightly.

The house doesn’t seem any different in the morning, but there’s something about the early hours of the morning and the late hours of the night that makes places feel different. Daunting, heavy, lazy. If a house can feel that way. 

“This is my revenge for you waking me up at three in the morning every day before a raid,” Taehyung says, a grin tugging at his lips as he takes the lead. “Now come on, Jeon. Let’s see if you still got it in you.”

It’s been a month since Jeongguk’s worked out this much, but he’s pleased to find he hasn’t lost his touch. Fighting exerts him more than the exercises he’s been doing in his room since he got here, and he finds he’s breathless faster. But he’ll build his stamina back easily.

“That’s all you got?” Taehyung asks with a cocky twitch of his head. 

It’s odd seeing his breathing calm when Jeongguk’s is so labored. Seeing how dry his skin is when Jeongguk’s sleep shirt is clinging to his chest. “Fuck you, you’re cheating.”

Jeongguk moves then, but Taehyung’s quick. Even when he isn’t running at an inhuman speed. He dodges the swing, hops unreasonably high into the air to miss the leg Jeongguk kicks out. 

An elbow crashes onto Jeongguk’s shoulder, and his knees buckle. He never hits the ground though, Taehyung’s hands on his body to keep him up before he’s suddenly meters away.

“Cheating?” Taehyung asks if it’s absurd. “You ever walk into a nest and ask, ‘hey Mr. Vampire, please don’t use your powers while I try to kill you?’”

Jeongguk grunts at that. Annoyance filling him. He kind of thinks Taehyung is doing it on purpose, to push him. Knowing Jeongguk likes to be the best. “Vampires can be any gender.”

Taehyung makes a ridiculous face at that, and he barely dodges the knife Jeongguk tosses at him. Jeongguk’s belt is covered in throwing knives because he thought it would be the best weapon to use against him.

“And age,” Taehyung says, suddenly behind him. There’s not even a second of hesitation that Jeongguk reacts, elbow sinking back and connecting with Taehyung’s ribs.

He takes advantage of it, leg curling to wipe Taehyung’s out from beneath him. Twisting his body until he’s falling onto the hard ground.

Jeongguk doesn’t have the ability to keep Taehyung’s body from hitting it. But Jeongguk falls too, knees tight around Taehyung’s waist as he brings another knife up to his chest. Angles it right over his heart. 

“You ever gone into a nest and seen the face of a seven year old?” Taehyung asks, breathing a little harshly now, but he doesn’t try to get out of the vulnerable position. 

It’s something Jeongguk doesn’t think about. It also isn’t something he thinks is very common, because he’s killed thousands of vampires before and never once saw a child. But he thinks there must be some out there. Kids like Hoseok, born as they are instead of made that way.

Jeongguk presses the knife down, just to remind Taehyung it’s there. But suddenly his world is turning, and the air is pushed from his lungs as his back hits against the ground.

He freezes at the sharp feeling against his jugular. Humans are easier to kill. There’s no specifics, really. Not as many as there are for vampires. What kind of metal the knife is doesn’t mean shit.

“I win,” Taehyung murmurs, face so close to Jeongguk’s that he can feel his breath when the knife digs in. It doesn’t hurt, and it doesn’t break skin, but it proves the point that if this was a real fight, Jeongguk lost.

“Ugh,” Jeongguk grunts, shoving his hands into Taehyung to push him off. He goes easily, giggling to himself while Jeongguk tries not to think about how his instincts must be having a hard time. How easily they help him when a vampire has him pinned, but they’re not sure what to do when it’s Taehyung. “Let’s go again.”

Taehyung hops to his feet, twirling the dagger in his hands. “Come on, baby. Round three.”

Jeongguk ignores that and immediately jumps to his feet. The knife leaves his hand as he does, and victory soars through him when he hears Taehyung cuss.

“Fucker,” Taehyung grumbles, the handle of the blade sticking from his forearm. “Lost your aim.”

He tosses it back, and it’s purposeful the way it misses. Jeongguk wags a brow, excitement and adrenaline filling his tired body as he reaches for it. “Kinda like this. You don’t know how many times I wanted to shut you up when we trained in the bunker.”

The grin Taehyung wears mirrors his own as they circle around each other. “You could have. Even if you killed me then, Namjoon wouldn’t have let anyone know.”

It creates a pit in Jeongguk’s stomach, and he struggles not to let his grin slip. “Nah. Didn’t want the silent treatment from him. He’d be angry.”

Jeongguk bends his body back, knees pushing out as he curls down until his shoulder blades are almost touching the floor when Taehyung flies across him. He doesn’t make a sound when he lands, unlike Jeongguk who’s feet hit the ground hard when he straightens. 

“Senses, Jeon,” Taehyung says, tapping against his ears like Jeongguk doesn’t know this. “Close your eyes for a second.”

Jeongguk makes a face at that. “No way in Hell.”

Taehyung gives him an annoyed look. “Just trust me. Focus on what you hear, alright?”

Stubbornly, Jeongguk widens his eyes as much as possible to show Taehyung he won’t. Though, even with opened eyes Taehyung could still fully take him by surprise and kill him in an instant.

But after a moment, his eyes fall shut and he strains his ears.

There’s nothing at first. Just silence. He doesn’t even hear Taehyung’s breathing anymore. His body is completely rigid, and he tries to keep his heart from growing so it will get in the way of him listening.

Jeongguk jumps back when something touches the back of his neck. It feels like teeth. “Taehyung.”

“Oh my god, Jeon, pay attention.”

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose, but he does it again. Silence again, nothing. 

He feels Taehyung’s breath against his mouth a second before he hears it.

Jeongguk grits his teeth, ripping his eyes open but Taehyung’s gone again. 

Determination fills him, and he holds up his fingers to tell Taehyung to try a third time. He breathes through his nose, and focuses.

It’s a tiny sound. One that most people wouldn’t even notice if they weren’t looking for it. A sound that blends. Like the soft sound of the breeze, birds squawking in the distance. White noise in the background.

It’s cold too, on one side of Jeongguk’s body too. The air shifting from Taehyung moving.

Jeongguk twists to the opposite side, a smile forming on his face when his fist makes contact.

“Good,” Taehyung says, unaffected by the punch to his side, and Jeongguk wonders if Taehyung let him knock him to the ground earlier. He wags his brows a few times, his eyes gleaming. “Wanna keep trying?”

Exhilaration fills Jeongguk as he nods, though he’s out of breath. “Fuck yeah.” 

By the time they’re finished, the sun is shining through the windows, and Jeongguk’s pretty sure he’ll no longer be able to use his legs. He lays flat on the mat in the makeshift work out room, staring at the ceiling above him.

Taehyung sits beside him, drinking water probably to make Jeongguk forget that he doesn’t need to. “I missed that.”

Jeongguk doesn’t think about it as he nods. “Me too.”

Again, he wonders if Taehyung heard what Namjoon said. If he had lingered in the hallway or his bedroom, or if he had gotten too far away at that point to do so. Jeongguk stares up at him, takes in his profile, and he wonders.

If Taehyung feels him looking, he doesn’t acknowledge it. He continues to stare off, still breathing heavily before he tilts his head back and finishes the bottle. Exposing the length of his neck, the muscles and veins in. Normal veins.

“Let’s get food,” Taehyung sighs as if they’re back to normal, tossing the empty bottle at him. “My treat. I don’t cook, but I will for you.”

Jeongguk doesn’t want to get up. “Hoseokie already squealed that you’re the one that cooks for me.”

Taehyung bites his bottom lip, face blank before he frowns. “That’s it. He’s out of the clan.”

That makes Jeongguk jump up after Taehyung as he looks as if he may storm through the mansion and do just that, kick Hoseok out. “No, don’t do that.”

Taehyung turns on his heel, lips pressed together in amusement. “Getting a little soft for our Hoseokie, hm? Don’t think too much about it. Everyone does. It’s his special power.”

Jeongguk hesitates as he follows after him. God, did he fall for more manipulation? “Is it?”

“No,” Taehyung laughs, shaking his head as he plants a hand to Jeongguk’s back like he’s forgotten about the rule for a second before he pulls it away. “He’s just cute and one of those always bright kinds of people. You have to love him.”

“Yeah, except he never shuts up.”

“You make him nervous,” Taehyung explains. “Plus, one of his powers, the way it affects him, makes him really nervous as well. Talking helps him cope with it.”

Jeongguk wants to ask, but he doesn’t. 

When they get to the kitchen, it isn’t empty. The rest of the clan are in there around the table, and they all fall still when Taehyung and Jeongguk enter. 

Jeongguk can feel their eyes on him, and he ignores it. His face going stony, he makes sure to keep a distance between him and Taehyung. 

He tries at least, until suddenly Taehyung is on his back, pressing into him to make Jeongguk’s stomach dig harshly into the counter. Alarm fills him, and he physically can’t push back. 

“We were sparring,” Taehyung says, his voice taking on a tone that sends a chill down his spine. “Leave it.”

Jeongguk tries to turn to look, but he can’t. He presses back against Taehyung again, heart thumping up into his throat from feeling trapped, but it’s like he’s trying to move the entire mansion with his bare hands.

“You’re bleeding.”

It’s Yoongi. Understanding fills Jeongguk, and he sags against Taehyung, eyes rolling. 

“I’m fine,” Taehyung clarifies, grits out. “Back off.”

It takes a moment, but finally Jeongguk’s finally released. If his hands weren’t gripping at the counter to give him leverage to push, he would have fallen.

He slowly turns around, glaring at Taehyung first for doing that to him, and then Yoongi’s retreating form. Everyone else is just sitting at the table, watching. 

“Anyone else have something to say?” Taehyung asks, hands out. “If Jeongguk wanted to hurt me, it sure wouldn’t be in the form of a knife in my shoulder.”

Jeongguk glances at the shoulder. Taehyung acts so fine that he had forgotten about it. The shirt is ripped just enough that Jeongguk can see the clotted blood on his skin, but most stab wounds don’t stop bleeding so easily. 

Someone must say something Jeongguk can’t hear because Taehyung nods. “I know.” 

It’s awkward then. Jeongguk’s uncomfortable that Taehyung knows he won’t hurt him. It’s a leverage he shouldn’t have, that can be used against him. It stays silent as Taehyung fills the counters with food to cook. He’s clearly aggravated, jaw tight. Eyebrows furrowed, the anger seeming to simmer off of him the way steam starts to twirl over one of the pans. 

Jeongguk steps up beside him, shoulders brushing as he grabs one of the raw pieces of meat Taehyung is currently slicing and starts to cut it with one of his throwing knives.

“How long will it take to heal?”

Taehyung hesitates, hands stilling over his own piece of meat before he resumes. “It’ll be completely fine within the hour. It didn’t hurt. Felt the same as if you were to pinch me with your fingers.”

Jeongguk can’t tell if he’s lying or not. He tries to say something else, but suddenly there’s a hard press against his back and an arm squeezing over his shoulders.

Hoseok hugs them both from behind, his cheek rubbing into Taehyung’s uninjured shoulder. When he tilts his head to rub against Jeongguk’s next, Jeongguk’s entire body tenses. 

He doesn’t say anything, just chuckles lightly before he disappears.

When Jeongguk turns to follow where he goes, he finds the entire kitchen empty. 

“Even if you only change your mind about one vampire being a monster,” Taehyung starts offhandedly, “I hope it’s him. He’s never killed anyone and has never wanted to.”

Jeongguk watches his hands, the knife slicing through the raw meat. He often forgets Hoseok is a vampire, but Hoseok also never reminds him of it. He doesn’t talk about it, his eyes never change. “He’s half human.”

“And you’re full human,” Taehyung points out. “And ten times more violent than he’ll ever be.”

Violent. Jungkook’s never considered himself that. The disconnect between human and vampire, he thinks. Most people think killing a bug isn’t violence , and to him it’s always been the same thing as killing a vampire. Smushing a bug, cleaning out a wasp nest. Putting down a wild rabid animal. 

But vampires look like humans. Their skin and hair feel the same. Their bodies look the same. Hell, they’re currently cooking like they used to when they were both human. Hoseok likes to paint and dance, laughs like a human. Taehyung smiles like one. 

“Why are you so insistent I see you as the old you?” Jeongguk asks then, putting down the knife to turn to him. Taehyung still doesn’t look at him as he drops the chopped meat into a bowl.

“Because I am the same me.”

“But why do you need me to know it?” Jeongguk insists, frustrated as he stabs his finger into his own chest. 

“Because now that you know I am, I know you’ll do everything you can to kill me. To put me out of my misery, like I used to think with Jimin,” Taehyung explains, his voice even, and he still doesn’t look at him. “I’ve already told you this.”

Jeongguk presses a hand to the counter, leaning into him. He wants Taehyung to look at him. “I would have never found out if you just let me go. Okay, you wanted to keep me safe? You could have locked me up in my room and never showed your face. So give me a real fucking answer, Taehyung.”

Taehyung whips around then, and his eyes are blazing black. Veins rush up into his cheeks, and he’s starting to get used to the sight. But Jeongguk can’t deny that it makes his stomach fill with nerves. “Leave it.”

“No,” Jeongguk argues, pushing into him when Taehyung turns his body. Before, he couldn’t move him, but now Taehyung steps back until Jeongguk’s crowding him against the kitchen counter. “Tell me. Tell me why you let me think you were dead for two fucking years, Taehyung and now suddenly want me to see you’re you.”

The surge of emotion is coming out of nowhere. At least, that’s what it feels like. But Jeongguk knows it’s because while they were training, he felt like he had Taehyung back. 

Taehyung presses his lips hard together for a moment. “I wanted to tell you that the whole time,” he whispers, his words steady but there’s something in them that hurts Jeongguk’s chest. “You don’t know how badly I wanted to find you and tell you.”

Jeongguk grabs the counter around Taehyung’s waist, their hands nearly touching. “Then why didn’t you?”

Taehyung gets in his face until they’re barely an inch apart. Jeongguk can feel his breath when he speaks, his words angry. Hurt. Upset. He can’t tell. He hasn’t heard it come from him before.

“Why would I be so eager to know that the person I love most in the world fucking hates me for something I can’t change? Huh? If you were a fucking vampire, would you go running to Namjoon right away so he knew?”

Jeongguk falls still. His mind replays what Taehyung said over and over again. Wheels turning so loudly, he wonders if Taehyung can hear them. 

It makes his heart swell so much he can feel it in his throat. Throbbing in his face. They’re so, so close.

“Jimin’s the person you love most.”

Taehyung’s teeth grip hard into his bottom lip for a moment. “He was. Is. It’s different.”

Bullshit . “You’re only saying that to use my heart against me.”

Taehyung shakes his head, making a sound of disbelief. “How could I? You’ve never told me I was in your heart. I can tell you how many times yu’ve told me you hate me though.”

Jeongguk almost shoves him. He meant the Namjoon part, but he doesn’t tell him that, because Taehyung’s right. But it isn’t like Taehyung hadn’t said it just as often. 

“How could you not have known?” He snaps. It’s very understandable that he didn’t know. He’s still trying to process the fact that Taehyung could possibly love him, even if it’s not in the way he’s thinking. Just love in general. “Why else would I become so reckless after your death? Because dying seemed better than dealing with that kind of pain. Because it hurt that much to think about you and how much I missed you. How I regret not kissing you or having you in my bed for longer than a few weeks? How it was only a few weeks compared to years of sleeping alone, and my bed still felt so fucking empty after you died?”

Taehyung’s lips part open. He doesn’t say anything. Jeongguk breaths hard, the swell in his chest turning to pain. It hurts, and he isn’t sure he can stop himself now. He didn’t know it was even building up.

Because in order to survive, sometimes the body needs to protect itself. To numb itself. But sometimes that comes with a side effect of being absolutely destructive anyway.

“I went through that for nothing,” Jeongguk snaps, and he doesn’t recognize his own voice. “I’ve been reliving your death in my head for over two years. Every single fucking day.”

“My biggest fears came true,” Taehyung replies finally, voice trembling. “You saying I’m a monster and you hate me. But I’m not and you don’t. Not me. You hate what I am because you always have. You’ve separated us, and I used to too. I get it. I do. It’s not gonna be easy, Jeon, but you’ll get there.”

Jeongguk feels like Taehyung’s punched into his chest and ripped out his heart like he did to the other vampire. Or maybe he’s fisting Jeongguk’s lungs because it feels like he can’t breathe. 

“I know it in my heart,” Taehyung breathes out, and it hits Jeongguk’s mouth again. He can’t tell if his eyes are watering, but his voice sounds like they are. “That you’re going to get there, and stop seeing me like that. And start seeing me as your Taehyung again. And we can just-”

Jeongguk grips Taehyung’s chest when he takes a step like he might move. His heart is racing, and his mind is trying to keep up with it. He searches over Taehyung’s face.

Eyes black, veins standing out beneath his pale skin. Taehyung. 

“Fucking talk about our feelings for once,” Taehyung stumbles over his words, and that’s not like Taehyung at all “And kiss and share a bed and shit. Go back to talking shit, and you telling me to fuck myself so I can tell you I’d rather have you do it instead of pretending like I don’t.”

Jeongguk parts his lips. He can’t find the right words to reply. He doesn’t know how to. It’s Taehyung’s voice saying these things to him.

For so long, he regretted not being able to tell Taehyung how he feels. He can’t imagine he ever would because it wasn’t really something he grasped until he died. Until it was too late. Even if Taehyung said these things to him back then, he doesn’t think it would have brought his own feelings to light so suddenly.

“Human you loved me,” Jeongguk breathes out, the pain latched onto every word.

Taehyung groans in complaint, the pain now clear on his face. “Me. I do. No past tense. I love you, alright?” 

Jeongguk shakes his head without meaning to. It shouldn’t be him telling him this. Not when the whites of his eyes are completely gone. “You said you have a mate. One you have romantic feelings for. I didn’t forget. So don’t lie to me just to get me to believe you.”

Rolling his eyes, Taehyung laughs but it doesn’t sound amused. “Why do you think it’s so hard for me to control myself around you, Jeongguk?”

“I don’t know how fucking vampires work when it comes to that, Taehyung.”

There’s amusement in Taehyung’s expression, and Jeongguk tenses when Taehyung leans in and buries his nose into his neck. “And if you hate vampires so much, why don’t you push me away? I didn’t manipulate you, yet you bared your neck for me then on your own accord.”

It isn’t true. Jeongguk shakes his head. It isn’t true. “I would never.”

“You are now,” Taehyung whispers hot against his throat, and Jeongguk realizes he has. Head moved to the side to accommodate him. “Because you’re my mate.”

Jeongguk knows, realistically, that it’s him that moves. That’s it’s him who fists his hand into Taehyung’s hair and tugs him away from his neck. It’s him that directs their mouths together like he’s pulled forward into doing it. He knows because he’s the one that kisses Taehyung while Taehyung remains completely still. 

But he doesn’t mean to. He’s thinking. About before. How he’d respond to Taehyung if he said these things. If Taehyung would kiss him. How long he’s regretted not kissing Taehyung. 

They say emotion strengthens memory and as emotional as Jeongguk feels, he doesn’t remember moving in, doesn’t remember making the conscious decision to.

Taehyung’s hand flies up to his jaw and his mouth parts, fits more securely against Jeongguk’s. It’s been years and years since Jeongguk’s kissed anyone, but he doesn’t remember it feeling like this. 

Butterflies erupting in his stomach, his mind blank except Taehyung’s mouth. How soft his lips are, how they fit so well with his own. He leans his body into Taehyung’s, savoring how well all of them fit.

How many times he’s thought about touching every inch of Taehyung like this. How many times during a fight, Jeongguk wanted to press him against the wall of whatever the hell nest they were in to kiss him. Because fighting fills him with adrenaline and so does Taehyung. That’s what he blames this on. 

He’s an adrenaline junkie, becoming reckless whenever it fills him. When it mixes with anger, or hurt, or his broken heart, it makes him destructive. 

It does now, that’s why his tongue slips over the seam of Taehyung’s lips. Why his hand grabs him by the waist to hold him close, the other fisting into Taehyung’s hair, all without him telling them to.

But the thing about adrenaline, it isn’t just a rush or exciting. It’s also associated with fight or flight, and Jeongguk is tugged between doing both. He thinks the surge of it through him is enough to make him pass out when he feels Taehyung’s teeth scrape over his tongue. When it digs into his bottom lip, and Jeongguk’s nerves spark for a moment when Taehyung moans before the rusty taste of his own blood touches his tongue. 

His hands shove into Taehyung to push him away, that adrenaline feeling more like fear when his heart lurches up into his throat. He grabs the knife from the counter, even though he knows it can’t hurt him.

Taehyung looks dazed for a second, confused. His chest rises quickly, but he doesn’t move. 

“Don’t do that!” Jeongguk says, thrusting the knife in the air in front of himself. “Stop doing that to me.”

“You kissed me ,” Taehyung snaps, and Jeongguk wishes, prays he could just stop doing that to his face right now. “I didn’t do anything.”

He’s panicking. It’s all too much. “You did that mind manipulation shit again.”

Taehyung makes a noise that sounds aggravated, a growl, and it’s loud. He pushes away from the counter, ignoring the knife that Jeongguk holds out. “I haven’t manipulated you once. Not magically, and I’m not doing it by telling you I love you Jeongguk. I’m answering your questions. You kissed me because you wanted to, not because of anything I did to you. You bared your neck for me because that’s your body responding to me , wanting me , being mine .”

His entire body moves with his breathing, finger poking into his chest with every word, frustrated sounding the first time but the rest of his words are calmer. “Which means you’re already starting to see that I’m your Taehyung. You’ve always been a fast learner, just get it together a little faster, would ya?”

With that he storms out. Jeongguk lets the knife fall to the ground before he slumps down the counter and presses his face into his knees.

Chapter Text

According to the origami steadily growing on Jeongguk’s shelves, it’s been a week since he’s seen Taehyung. He has half the mind to knock on his bedroom door to make sure he’s not dead or something, but he reminds himself he doesn’t care.

Instead, he reads. He trains. He talks to Namjoon a few times, but they keep their calls to the minimum. Namjoon asks to talk to Taehyung a few times, but Jeongguk always comes up with an excuse as to why he can’t. It’ll make Namjoon suspicious soon, but he doesn’t want to go searching for Taehyung. 

It feels cowardly. Taehyung can’t just say the things he has and then hide away, but Jeongguk’s thankful he has. He’s struggling with his thoughts. Of Taehyung feeling that way, battled with the idea that he’s just lying because it’s something Jeongguk would want to hear. 

The reminder of how often other people have said the same thing. Implied it. He doesn’t fully believe there’s nothing supernatural about it, this thing drawing them together. But part of him believes Taehyung isn’t doing anything intentionally. 

“Hoseokie, do you have a mate?”

Hoseok splutters, actually seems to choke on the food in his mouth. For a moment, alarm fills Jeongguk at the thought Hoseok can’t breathe but he remembers that he doesn’t have to.

Gagging, Hoseok spits the food into a napkin and looks at Jeongguk as if he purposefully made him choke. “No. I had a boyfriend once, but that was decades ago.”

They’re both dressed haphazardly in various items from Jeongguk’s closet because Jeongguk was bored and decided to see what was actually in there past the section of comfort clothes. 

Hoseok had caught him knee deep in a pile of jeans and has been with him since.   

Jeongguk kicks his legs out, making a face at him. “What? How old are you?”

“Forty five,” Hosek says proudly, patting his chest. “I look good for my age, eh? It’s the anti-aging cream I use.”

Amusement fills Jeongguk. Hoseok looks like he’s barely in his early twenties. “Funny.”

“Why you ask?” Hoseok pokes his chopsticks into the bowl of japchae. It’s ironic that the thing Jeongguk hates most about vampires is how they feed, but all Hoseok and he do together is eat. “You’re not falling in love with me, are you? This would be extremely awkward.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. They’re in the living room this time, and Jeongguk sits on the floor with his back against the couch because he doesn’t like the open space behind it. “Not my type. Sorry bro.”

Hoseok wags a brow and points his noodle wrapped chopsticks at him. “I have a feeling you have less of a type and more of a specific person.”

Something heavy settles in Jeongguk’s stomach, and it isn’t the food because he hasn’t eaten much yet. “I was just asking. Do you want one?”

Hoseok scoffs, mouth full of food. Thankfully he swallows before he eats. “Nah. They come with too many problems.”

“What do you mean?”

All day, the house has seemed empty. Save for Matthew and Hoseok. He’s yet to see another vampire around, and he’s looked. He’s more comfortable with them gone anyway, though Matthew gives him the creeps.

“Well like,” Hoseok starts, waving his hand in the air as if to figure out how to explain, “Do you know about Yoongi and Jimin? How Jimin only transitioned because of Yoongi?”  

No, Jeongguk thinks. He briefly remembers Taehyung mentioning Yoongi’s alpha changed Jimin, but he never cared to ask for him to elaborate. Not that he really cares now, but he’s interested in the mate part. He needs to find a way to get this idea that he’s Taehyung’s out of Taehyung’s mind. 

“Well,” Hoseok goes on, not waiting for Jeongguk to reply. “They were seeing each other. Yoongi kept fucking up, had to make Jimin forget he was a vampire. He said it felt impossible to control it. You know the, the eyes? His father, alpha, was an ancient. Real old fashioned. Controlling. Dictator. Fuck face, your choice of word.”

Jeongguk grins. He likes hanging out with Hoseok more than he’d like to admit. 

“Anyway, he caught wind of their relationship. Saw it as a betrayal, knew how much Yoongi wanted to keep Jimin from knowing about the vampires. From being scared by them. Of him. So he took him, brought him to the nest. Forced Yoongi to feed and kill in front of him. Yoongi finally had enough of it, and he fought back.”

The way Hoseok pauses seems like it’s for dramatic effect. At least, that’s what Jeongguk thinks before he realizes Hoseok’s looking over him.

He turns, finds Jimin walking up behind them.

Jeongguk instantly moves, twisting around so Jimin won’t be behind him. That familiar rage that’s comforted him for so long fills him, but he can’t act on it. Not yet. He hasn’t found a way to escape.

“And I was turned into a vampire as punishment,” Jimin goes on, resting his elbows on the back of the couch. Relaxed seeming, despite knowing how much Jeongguk wants to kill him. “Yoongi hates that half of himself, you see. Because it comes from his father. Fuck face is a good choice of word, Hoseokie. Any reason for this telling of my backstory?”

Jeongguk doubts Yoongi hates being a vampire. He uses it to his advantage often, telling Jeongguk he’ll eat him or how easily he could kill Jeongguk because he’s human. “Just small talk.”

Jimin’s eyes shift over him, his eyebrow raised. “My torture is small talk to you?”

“That’s how little I care about it, yeah.”

Hoseok makes a noise of complaint, muttering something that tells Jeongguk to be quiet, but Jimin merely rolls his eyes as he stands up straight. “Can you take this up to your room? We have a guest coming, and Taehyung wants you and Matthew out of sight.” 

Jeongguk pretends he doesn’t perk up at the name, that he cares it’s a sign Taehyung’s alive. “I’ll stay here.”

This time, Jimin allows himself to look annoyed. “You know that vampire Taehyung killed for you? It’s one from her clan. I’d make yourself scarce before Taehyung has to take out an entire clan.”

When Jeongguk stands, Hoseok quickly does too. He even moves to put himself between them. “I’m free to do as I’d like, huh? I’ll stay here.”

Hoseok laughs awkwardly, turning to him. He plants his hands to Jeongguk’s chest. “It’s for me, actually. That clan scares the shit out of me. When I get anxious, I end up plucking all the leaves off Yoongi’s plants. So you’re saving my ass here.”

Jeongguk makes a face at Hoseok’s obvious lies. Annoyance fills him that Hoseok’s possibly using the tiny part of him that likes Hoseok against him, but he doesn’t like him that much. “I know Yoongi would never hurt you. Nice try.”

A grimace takes over Hoseok’s face. “Please, please? I’ll do anything you want.”

Quirking a brow, Jeongguk pretends to contemplate. “Give me a weapon.”

The grimace on Hoseok’s face worsens. His shoulders seize up towards his neck as he holds his hands out. “Aha, I mean anything but that.”

Jimin makes an impatient noise that Jeongguk pointedly ignores by crossing his arms and emphasizing that he isn’t going anywhere.

“I’ll tell you ways to kill or weaken a vampire that hunters don’t know,” Hoseok tries again, urgency in his eyes as he clasps his hands in front of himself and shakes them. 

Jeongguk is ready to call bullshit, but he notices how much Jimin seizes up. The alarm in his face, the warning in his tone. “Hoseok -”

“Deal,” Jeongguk says. He nudges a chin towards his side of the house. “Let’s go.”

He doesn’t want to. He wants to find Taehyung, wants to prove that he doesn’t give a shit if people are after him. That he can handle himself, but he’s also curious if there are ways other than silver. More convenient ways to kill vampires in a house made for them.

“Thank god,” Hoseok laughs under his breath once they’re finally up on the balcony. “Yoongi won’t hurt me, you’re right, but when I pluck the leaves off his plants, he ‘accidentally’ puts bleach in my clothes when he does the laundry.”

Jeongguk laughs at that. “Excuse me?”

Hoseok sighs like he’s troubled. “He’s a monster.”

“I know.”

Hoseok stills at that before glancing at Jeongguk. “Not what I meant.”

It doesn’t feel important for Jeongguk to say he knows. He just remains quiet as he follows Hoseok back to his bedroom. 

When they enter the hallway, Taehyung’s coming out of his own. He’s dressed in a suit, everything black, even his dress shirt. The buttons opened down his chest, and between his collarbone lays a yellow stone. His eyes only shift over them, head nodding slightly, before he walks off without a word.

Jeongguk resists the urge to turn around and watch him go. 

“What happened?” Hoseok asks quietly. “I mean. Everyone knows what happened. We heard you. But if you’d like to tell me as if I don’t know, I’m all ears.”

Jeongguk slams the door to his bedroom, locking it before he replies. “Nothing. And we’re not friends, Hoseok.”

Hoseok lays over Jeongguk’s bed, uncaring that he’s uninvited to do so. “Sure we are.”

“Namjoon and Taehyung were my only friends,” Jeongguk says, just because he feels like being difficult.

It makes Hoseok laugh. “Was Taehyung really a friend though?”

“Whatever,” Jeongguk says, hands on his hips. “Tell me about this secret way to kill vampires.”

Another laugh, and Hoseok turns on his side, arm propped beneath his head. “Oh, that wasn’t true. I just said it to get you up here.”

He’s barely finished before Jeongguk’s turning on his heel and heading towards the door. Like expected, Hoseok gets there first, stopping him with fists in his shirt. 

But what Jeongguk doesn’t expect is the way Hoseok’s eyes immediately water, and he chokes out his, “Please, no.”

Jeongguk hesitates as alarm slams it’s way inside of him. He doesn’t like the look on Hoseok’s face. It’s wrong. Even as afraid as he was of Jeongguk, he never looked like that. “You’re that afraid of them?”

Hoseok wipes a finger under his eye despite none of his tears falling over his eyelids. “Depends. Will that keep you here?”

Annoyed, Jeongguk pulls away from Hoseok’s grip. Hoseok really knows how to use people’s soft spot for him against them. “When are you guys going to see that I’m perfectly capable of handling myself? Just give me a weapon. If you want me to stay here can you at least treat me like an equal?”

Hoseok doesn’t move, even when Jeongguk seats himself on his bed. “One, because you’d use that weapon on us. Two, if that vampire sees you, they can spread the word that you’re here. And it won’t just be one or two. It’d be swarms. Believe it or not, you and Taehyung are really the only ones in this clan who have experience fighting multiple vampires at once. And we do see you as an equal. But like, a murderous one that might kill all of us.”

It’s probably a good idea that Hoseok sinks down to sit in front of the door, because Jeongguk knows he’s going to try and leave again. He hates feeling trapped, and though he finds comfort  away from vampires here, it’s different when he’s forced to stay inside. 

He’s even more annoyed he allowed himself to be tricked into coming here. That he’s soft for a vampire and doesn’t think Hoseok fully had been faking the fear in his eyes. 

“I highly doubt none of you have experience..”

“It’s true,” Hoseok insists, resting his forearms on his knees. “Why do you think someone as old as Jin and I decided to be led by such a young vampire?”

It is strange to Jeongguk. The older the vampire, the stronger. The strongest usually lead, though it takes killing an alpha to become one. To take over their clan. And killing an alpha gives the vampire part of their strength. If created by an alpha that dies, the other alpha also becomes stronger.

Jeongguk sits with that thought. He had killed the alpha that created Jimin, and then Taehyung, unintentionally giving Taehyung that strength. 

Mother Nature finding a way for vampires to adapt and inherit traits when they normally can’t breed with their own species. It used to seem like a way to balance things out. The only way a vampire can breed is if their offspring ends up weaker not stronger, but now Jeongguk just thinks Mother Nature is a bitch. He’s going to go rip some grass out of the ground as revenge.

“I don’t actually care, Hoseok.”

Hoseok mocks him and does a horrible impersonation of his voice. “No, only care about vampires if it’s about mates right?”

Jeongguk doesn’t have to look to see Hoseok’s amused face. He hears it in his voice.

He rests back on his hands and watches as the sky darkens outside of his window. “I don’t care about that either.”

It only makes Hoseok mock him again.

“For a man in his forties, you act like a five year old,” Jeongguk says, laughing to hide that he’s even more annoyed that he asked anything at all. He should have known Hoseok would tease him for it. Use it against him.

“I’m just kidding. But just know, if you wanted to talk about our alpha, I’m all ears.”

Jeongguk can’t do this. He side eyes Hoseok. “He’s the last person I want to talk about.”

“What about your Taehyung then? The one you knew.”

Jeongguk becomes restless. He stands up, playing that over in his mind. Hoseok’s constantly trying to enforce the fact that Taehyung is the same. Almost as Taehyung himself has. “I know you don’t think they’re different.”

Hoseok picks at the rips in his pants. “But you do. So if that makes it easier for you to talk about, I’m willing to go along with it.”

Laughing, Jeongguk plays with the origami on his shelf just to do something with his hands. He doesn’t want to talk about that either. If he did, he would have with Namjoon. For two years, he wouldn’t have let it build up.

But it became as if talking about Taehyung, or even thinking about him, was taboo.

“Thanks, but I’m not into the bro bonding right now.”

He’s expecting a remark about him being moody, but all he gets is silence. He glances at Hoseok, finding him with his head angled towards the door. Listening to something. He’s practically ripping the strings from his pants now. 

“What is it?” Jeongguk asks, coming over to sit beside him. His hearing may be good for a human, but there’s no way he’ll hear anything past this hallway.

“They’re here,” Hoseok explains, his eyes glowing now. “And they’re not happy. Taehyung’s tense with them here.”

“You can tell he’s tense?” Jeongguk asks, his nerves sparking. He wonders how many there are, how old they are. He wants to ask, but he doesn’t want to give Hoseok anymore reason to think he cares. 

“I can feel emotions,” Hoseok explains offhandedly, pressing his ear to the door now. “Everyone’s tense, but Taehyung’s a more emotional person. His are louder.”

It isn’t often that Hoseok lets his eyes turn gold, and it’s a bit jarring. So is the comment about Taehyung being emotional. That wouldn’t be a word Jeongguk would use for him. 

“What are they saying?”

Hoseok peers his eyes in concentration, and it looks as if he’s trying to push his head through the wooden door. His cheek squishing against it. He puts a finger up to his lips, quieting him. 

“Want to know what happened to their alpha. Never returned after visiting here. It’s her mate. Which, oh drama, those feelings weren’t returned.” Hoseok grimaces, and Jeongguk’s annoyed again that he can’t hear for himself. “Same vampire crap. Threats about killing Taehyung’s mate in retaliation. Blah, blah.”

The hair on the back of Jeongguk’s neck stands up, alarm filling him. Fight or flight. He stands, restless again because he has no weapon and he has no idea what’s going on. And he doesn’t like the mention of being Taehyung’s mate again. The threat to kill him for it.

Hoseok waves towards the ground, urging him to sit again. “Calm down. Taehyung’s really good at controlling his emotions around others. Only I can feel how pissed he is right now, but he’s telling them you’re dead.”

Jeongguk lets out a gruff noise. “Will you stop calling me his mate?” Jeongguk whispers angrily under his breath.

Pulling away from the door, Hoseok makes it so he has to see the way he rolls his eyes. “Well you are, man. No point in denying it. Just shut up.”

Jeongguk walks over to the bed and lays back against it. His legs shake and bounce, and he can’t stop them. He hates feeling helpless. He hates feeling like he belongs to someone, though he always wanted to be Taehyung’s.

Just in a different way. 

The silence that follows is harder to deal with than Hoseok’s talking. It makes Jeongguk uneasy, especially when Hoseok makes little noises under his breath in reaction to whatever is going on. Jeongguk can’t tell if it’s purposeful or not, but he kind of wants to hold his hand over Hoseok’s mouth to get him to shut up. 

He doesn’t know how long it lasts before Hoseok stands up and tells him they’re gone. It seems to last ages and ages, and Jeongguk doesn’t know if that’s an accurate passage of time or warped by the anger and panic rising inside of him. 

Jeongguk jumps to his feet, but Hoseok continues to get in his way of the door.

“Give them time to get off the island. I’m sure Taehyung will tell us when it’s safe.”

Jeongguk grits his teeth. “Move out of my way, Hoseok. I’ve been stuck in here long enough.”

Hoseok crosses his arms. “Tell me I’m your friend.”

It’s ridiculous. Jeongguk gives him a look to tell him so. “Just move.”

“‘You’re my friend, Hoseok,’” Hoseok says. “‘You’ll be the sole reason I overcome my prejudisms of vampires and fall back in love with one tall, dark, and handsome alpha so he isn’t so sad all of the time.’”

Jeongguk huffs at that, pushing a hand against Hoseok’s shoulder to move him aside. He regrets it though when Hoseok yelps because Jeongguk had forgotten about the silver on his fingers and the way it will burn Hoseok’s skin.

It happens in seconds. Jeongguk barely can get out the apology as Hoseok moves out of the way of the door before the loud sound of a slam fills the room. The door shakes, the door knob rattling. A snarl that can be heard from the otherside of the wood. 

“Open the fucking door, Jeon.”

Alarm fills Hoseok’s expression as he presses back against the door. “I’m fine, hyung. It was an accident. The rings.”

It could be Jeongguk’s chance. He compartmentalizes the guilt he feels for it, the thought of how wrong it is before he reaches up and wraps his hand around Hoseok’s throat.

Hoseok’s knees buckle, pain twisting across his face as he shakes his head. It’s not as easy as Jeongguk thought it would be, but survival takes over.

“Tell me how to get off the island and let me go or I snap his neck,” Jeongguk yells, wrapping his second hand around Hoseok’s throat. 

“You won’t make it through his door before I fucking kill you,” Yoongi snarls, another bang coming and it sounds as if the door splinters. “Even if I say yes, it’ll be a lie. Use your brain, hunter.”

“Jeongguk,” Hoseok whispers, grabbing Jeongguk’s wrists. But he digs his fingers just right. Hoseok can rip his hands off, but he risks his head going with it. Yoongi says something else, and it sounds like he’s talking to someone else but Jeongguk can’t hear over the pounding in his ears. 

There are tears in Hoseok’s eyes now, real ones. Jeongguk can’t do this. It’s never been like this, the fact he doesn’t actually want to hurt a vampire.

Frustrated, he shoves Hoseok back. Panic swells up inside of him, worse than before. It’s never been like this. They’re getting inside of his head. It’s a vampire, a monster, not his fucking friend. 

“Hyung, I’m fine, please go.”

“I’m not going anywhere until you open the door and get out of there.” 

There’s betrayal and fear in Hoseok’s eyes. They haven’t even turned amber. The rings left burn marks over his throat, and he quickly cups his own hands over them. All of it makes Jeongguk want to pull his hair out.

They’ve been messing with him. Being trapped here is messing with him. 

Hoseok doesn’t move despite the rattling of the door, doesn’t open it even when pieces break off above his head. Jeongguk wants to shove him again, open it himself and just let Yoongi have him. 

“Just go, Yoongi. I said go .”

It’s Taehyung. Jeongguk recognizes it though there’s an edge to it he doesn’t recognize. A deep command.

“Don’t use that shit with me,” Yoongi snaps, slamming his fist into the door again. “Get him the hell out of there. You’re putting us at risk for someone who fucking hates you, Taehyung. If anything happens to Hoseok, I’m ripping your fucking head off.”

His voice is growing farther away with each word. Jeongguk can’t breathe. He can’t look at Hoseok. He whimpers softly, and Jeongguk wants to pull his ears off so he can’t hear it.

It feels like he’s drowning. Lungs filling with water. He bends over, hands on his knees. It leaves him vulnerable. Hoseok could easily retaliate, but he can’t fix it.

Jeongguk’s panicking.

He misses t he sound of the lock being undone, the door opening. He doesn’t hear the words exchanged. He’s completely unaware of his surroundings except for the ground his knees hit, that his fingers dig into as his heart takes control of his body.

His chest hurts. His lungs aren’t working. The realization that he can’t get any oxygen to them makes it worse. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” 

There’s hands on his face. It makes it worse. Arm snapping out and shoving into the person. They don’t move. They use their strength against him. Jeongguk wants to fight it off, but they’re stronger. 

Hands pressing into his back, bringing him to a hard chest. 

“Focus on the things around you. Five things you can see.”

Jeongguk can’t see anything. It’s said again, like a command. Jeongguk finds his mind forces himself to focus on what he sees. It goes like that, each thing coming out like a command that Jeongguk has to follow.

“Take in a deep breath. Count to ten.”

Jeongguk doesn’t think he can, but he does. It doesn’t feel like it goes in deep enough, but his lungs do expand. 

That hand moves from his neck to rub down his back. “Close your eyes.”

They’re already closed, Jeongguk thinks. He wants to shove away, but suddenly his mind is filled with images. Images that feel so real.

In the bunker, Taehyung laid over Namjoon’s bed as Namjoon paces around, listing off facts about the makeup of human blood. Taehyung looks at him and makes a face, mimicking Namjoon’s words.

Confusion fills Jeongguk as he steps forward and slips onto the bed too. It feels real. He can feel the familiar fabric of Namjoon’s blanket. He slides his hand over Taehyung’s thigh.

It feels real. Warm and firm beneath his palm. 

There’s a soft smile on Taehyung’s face but confusion in his eyes. Namjoon makes a noise like he too is confused, but no one is more confused than Jeongguk. 

It isn’t real. It can’t be real. He was just in his bedroom in the vampire’s nest.

He glances down to the hand on Taehyung’s thigh. The silver is still there on his fingers, but it isn’t burning him. 

“What is it, Jeon?” Taehyung asks, sitting up with his hands splayed behind his back. “You’re looking at me like you want me.”

Namjoon chokes on a noise then. Jeongguk knows for sure that isn’t the face that he’s making. It’s confusion, shock. How did he get here? Why is Taehyung here? Why isn’t the silver burning him?

“What is it?” Taehyung asks, now concern in his tone as he reaches up and brushes Jeongguk’s cheek. “You’re okay. What’s wrong?” 

Jeongguk moves his face, lips touching over Taehyung’s wrist. He can feel his pulse there.

This isn’t real. It can’t be. 

He touches beneath his jaw, feels how his own heart beats. He inhales, and it goes in deeply. His lungs expand and start to hurt when he holds it in. 

“You’re human?” Jeongguk asks with his exhale. 

Taehyung looks at him like he’s crazy, laughing under his breath. “Ah, yeah?”

Jeongguk shakes his head, gripping Taehyung’s hand against his face. He presses his ear to his wrist, then his lips. He can’t help the way he presses them hard against Taehyung’s wrist, over his pulse. 

There’s tears blurring Jeongguk’s vision. He blinks them quickly away so he can focus on Taehyung’s face.  “What is going on? You’re not real.”

“It’s okay,” Taehyung says, scooching down the bed. He grabs Jeongguk’s elbow and pulls him closer. “It’s okay. I am. I’m here. I’m real.”

It sounds slow, hypnotizing. Namjoon seems to disappear. Just the two of them as Taehyung pulls Jeongguk between his legs and presses his hand over his heart. Jeongguk feels the way it beats there too. 

“See?” Taehyung whispers, the concern still loud in his eyes. His warm, dark brown eyes. “Calm down. It’s me. Very real.”

Jeongguk shakes his head. He doesn’t cry. He never really has, not since his parents died. And even then he didn’t allow himself more than a few tears in the privacy of his bedroom. But they’re filling his eyes now, and he has to blink them away. He can’t let them distort his vision.

“You died.”

Taehyung makes a face at that. “No, I didn’t.”

It can’t be real. Jeongguk closes his eyes for a second and takes it in. If this has all been a bad fucking dream, he’s fighting whoever decided it was a good idea for humans to have them. 

And if this is just a dream, maybe it’s the world giving him the chance to tell Taehyung what he never did. For years, it was only ever his death that came to him while Jeongguk slept. Never Taehyung, alive and well. 

“I love you so much,” Jeongguk breathes, tightening his fist into Taehyung’s shirt. “I miss you so fucking much. I must be dreaming because that’s the only place you live now.”

Pain fills Taehyung’s eyes. It’s wrong. Jeongguk hates seeing him pained. “It isn’t the only place, Jeongguk. But yes, you’re dreaming.”

Jeongguk curls his body then, resting his head against the high of Taehyung’s thigh. He wraps his arm around it, not wanting Taehyung to see the tears in his eyes. Not wanting to see the pain that reflects in Taehyung’s. 

He hugs him tightly, trying to get rid of the pressure in his chest. 

“It’s okay. I’m alive,” Taehyung says, wiping the back of his knuckles across Jeongguk’s hair. “And I love you too.”

Jeongguk shakes his head, eyes squeezing closed. Taehyung’s dead. This is a dream. It’s worse than the nightmares Jeongguk has been having. Seeing Taehyung alive. How real it all feels, but he has to focus on the fact that it isn’t.

And when he does, the bunker disappears. 

Jeongguk blinks his eyes open again and spots the daylight peeking out of the caged bedroom window. 

It’s a slow realization. As Jeongguk keeps his arm curled beneath the thigh he holds onto, squishes his cheek into it. Feels the warmth from the body it belongs to. It takes him a handful of moments to realize when he’s moved from his dream to his reality.

Jeongguk slowly moves upwards, hands pressing into the ground to find Taehyung resting back against the edge of the bed. Completely asleep.

Mouth opened, eyes closed. Both hands limp on the sides of his hips. He seems to be in a deep sleep, but when Jeongguk jumps to his feet, Taehyung’s eyes fly open.

He only seems alarmed for a moment before he registers Jeongguk in front of him and relaxes. He doesn’t continue to sit there though, standing up and moving like he’s about to leave without word.

“What the hell was that?” Jeongguk asks, pointing to the ground as things start to slowly come back to him.

His hands around Hoseok’s throat, the hurt in his eyes. The panic attack. The soothing voice that calmed him down. Forced him to calm down. 

The feeling of Taehyung’s pulse against his lips. 

“I helped you through a panic attack,” Taehyung says, and his walls are up. There’s no emotion in his face, in his voice. “And stayed with you because you had a vice grip around my thigh.”

Jeongguk rubs over his body. He’s real. But his dream felt so real. He pinches his wrist, but he has a feeling he could have done that in his dream and felt pain. “And the dream?”

Taehyung quirks a brow. “What dream?”

Aggravation fills Jeongguk. “I have to go outside, and I need to be alone. I can’t be in this room. I - I -”

Taehyung steps in his way before he can, a hand pressing to his chest. His voice is gentle. “You can, I’m not stopping you. But I’m just letting you know, try not to attack anyone because what you did to Hoseok has everyone upset and on edge. So I’m going to walk you outside, but it’s only to make sure it goes smoothly.”

It has Jeongguk upset too. So does looking at Taehyung because the memory of his heartbeat is still loudly in his mind. “Okay.”

Everyone is out when they walk through the house. Jeongguk avoids everyone’s eyes, the underhand comments, and walks with his chin up. The only one he doesn’t see is Hoseok.

There’s a very small list of things Jeongguk’s done that makes him feel bad and this makes it.

He feels like he kicked a puppy in the face.

“Try not to stray past the yard for right now,” Taehyung whispers as he opens the door. “Please. No one will bother you.”

Jeongguk steps out. He feels disorientated. Out of body. He wants to go home, and he wants Taehyung to be there when he does. 

He looks at Taehyung standing in the doorway. It breaks Jeongguk’s heart, because there’s no difference. Between Taehyung in his dream and the one in front of him. Everything is the same.

“I know you don’t want me around you,” Taehyung calls after him as he starts to close the door. “And I respect that. But please understand that I’m going to be for a few days.”

He shuts the door before Jeongguk can tell him that that isn’t it. 

There’s so many windows in the nest that Jeongguk doesn’t feel like he has privacy wherever he goes. It’s just the air he wants to breathe. Which feels ironic because he craves to be in the bunker and that didn’t have any windows to let the air in.

He walks past the greenhouse, sitting behind it to obstruct his view from the windows. He wishes he could let himself be numb again. To shove it all down inside of him and pretend none of it is eating away at him slowly.

But he can’t.  

It’s all confusing, messing with parts of his mind that have been the way they are since he was young. Vampires as enemies, shoot and kill and feel no remorse. Jeongguk only burned Hoseok, and he feels like a fucking asshole. He even tries to think of the face of the vampire that killed his parents, replace it with Hoseok’s, and it doesn’t work.

Those thoughts form to one of a child instead, shining bright with it’s smile and jumping on it’s toes. Taehyung’s words about nests not being filled with only adult vampires, or ancient vampires who don’t even look as if they’ve reached adulthood. How Jeongguk’s first thought was Hoseok, and not because he seems to hold the innocence of a child, but because he could have very well been one in a nest taken over by a commune of hunters. 

It bothers him to the core. Like knives digging into his consciousness. He’s never come across a vampire that appeared younger than himself, and he doesn’t know what he would have done if he had. If he would have been able to justify it, have it not eat away at him like it is now.

Hoseok was born into who he was, just like Jeongguk. Jeongguk born into a commune of hunters rather than an average human family that doesn’t even know vampires exist. Not yet. Both a blessing and a curse.

But, and Jeongguk fidgets as the thought hits him, he thinks maybe it isn’t so different with Jimin and Taehyung. Maybe not born as a vampire, haven’t lived their entire lives as one, but they still had the same inability to choose.

It’s a thought Jeongguk isn’t sure what to do with. How it jumps from one to another, back and forth like ping pong in his mind. When it turns to one that has Jeongguk pushing his head between his knees because it shakes up everything he’s known.

If he’s lived his entire life with one thing on his mind, to survive, what would he do if he woke up one day a vampire and his options were to either live as one or die?

“Ugh fuck,” Jeongguk shouts, tugging at his hair as if it will make the thoughts in his mind go away. He needs to call Namjoon. Talk to him about anything, he doesn’t care. 

He wishes he could talk to his parents. 

But he closes his eyes and he pictures their faces, their voices. At this point, it’s probably more his conscious than them, but he knows what to do when he hears their words. It’s just really fucking difficult, and he struggles to stand and make himself do it. 

After a while, the sun starts to make Jeongguk’s skin feel swollen, and he forces himself back to the mansion. When the feeling inside of his chest has calmed enough that Jeongguk doesn’t think he’ll panic, doesn’t think he’ll react to the shit storm inside of him. 

Nerves spark inside of Jeongguk, but not because he’s afraid someone’s going to kill him for what he did. He’d be fine if they did, but because he’s trying to swallow down his pride. It feels like the size of a boulder, getting stuck in his throat until he feels like he’s choking.

Taehyung is by the door when he opens it, and he doesn’t say a word. Not even when Jeongguk takes off towards the other side of the house than his own. 

It’s when he starts to ascend the stairs that Taehyung must realize where he’s going and finally speaks. “Jeongguk, everyone’s too testy today.”

Jeongguk ignores him and follows the path up to Hoseok’s hallway. He struggles with the concept of what he would do if he had to choose between hating the monster he’s become or dying, and this feels like he’s already been handed that dilemma. It could just be from all of the times Taehyung and Hoseok have tried to convince him that humans can be just as monstrous as vampires, but it’s what he feels like.

A heartless monster. 

And Jeongguk realizes he’d much rather try and stop himself from becoming one, even if it takes fighting off Yoongi and Jin to do so.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

He’s shoved then, fingers gripping into his throat as his body smacks into the wall. Jeongguk doesn’t try to fight it, but the fingers don’t last long there before Taehyung’s shoving them off. 

There’s a growl leaving his lips. “Let him be.”

There’s a throbbing in Jeongguk’s neck, and he holds in his groan though he brings his hand up and feels the blood beneath his fingers. 

Yoongi crouches on the ground like he’s about to pounce, eyes blazing and teeth bared. “If he kills Hoseok, it’s on your fucking conscious. You’ll lose all of us.”

Taehyung’s eyes are black, his stance protective in front of Jeongguk and his hand out to press into his chest and keep himself against the wall. Jeongguk doesn’t even let himself get annoyed by it. He already has too many emotions inside of him. “I would never let him do that.”

When Yoongi moves to attack, he barely hits Taehyung before he’s on the ground. Taehyung’s hand into his jaw, and that voice comes back. The one that doesn’t sound like him.

“Back down,” Taehyung snarls. “You have my word. I will not let anything happen to any of you.”

When he moves off  Yoongi, Yoongi doesn’t move. He stays on the ground like he’s stuck there. Jeongguk doesn’t wait before he gives him his back and walks off.

He really does not care it’s a dumb move, giving a vampire his back when he wants to kill him. But there’s something forward that’s more important. 

“You better know what you’re doing, alpha.”

Jeongguk doesn’t actually know which bedroom is Hoseok’s, or if he’ll be here at all. But the moment he steps into the cartoon decorated hallway, he finds Hoseok with a paintbrush in hand. He must be able to hear them, sense them, feel their emotions because Jeongguk’s sure between everyone, it must be very loud coming from them.

But Hoseok doesn’t look away from where he paints the wall.

“Taehyung, please give us a minute.”

He can’t hear him, but he knows Taehyung’s still following him. That he’s somewhere behind Jeongguk, making sure his back is covered just like he always has. 

“No,” Taehyung speaks. “I can’t, sorry.”

Hoseok glances at him but continues to ignore him. The burn marks are still on his throat, but they’re faded. Jeongguk feels awkward. He’s never done this. Not in a way Hoseok deserves. 

Many times, he’d go to Namjoon or Taehyung’s room with some sort of peace offering but never a true apology. 

“I’m sorry.”

It’s immediate the way the air seems to still around them. Even Hoseok freezes, paint brush hovering against the wall and the red paint on the tip threatening to fall to the floor. 

“I panicked,” Jeongguk says, shifting on his feet. He wishes they would understand his position here, but he does feel really bad. “Please know, I hate being here. I grew up hating vampires, and I still do. I feel trapped and desperate to find a way out, but I don’t have it in me to kill you. I’ve been taught my whole life to just survive, and that’s what I’m trying to do.”

Hoseok glances at him before he presses the brush to the wall and moves it along the lines. “No one here is going to hurt you. Well, they weren’t.”

“Understand why I don’t believe that,” Jeongguk starts, ready to say more, but Hoseok keeps talking.

“I actually do. If you’ve noticed,” Hoseok says, his tone flat, and Jeongguk hates it. It isn’t right on him. “I’ve been locked away before. Actually held hostage. When we were first all together, the others tried to do the same. Kept me hidden away to keep me safe. It made me panic.”

Hoseok continues painting then, and Jeongguk has a feeling he isn’t finished speaking. He waits patiently, tucking his hands into his pockets to look as least threatening as possible. 

“So I understand, and I’m not angry at you,” Hoseok goes on. “My feelings are hurt, yes, but you’re actually not in any danger, and I just fucking want you to get that in your head already. I’ve been really trying hard to make you feel welcomed here, to feel normal.”

Hoseok stabs the brush against the wall then, going over the lines someone has outlined. “And I hate that all this exists. And that there’s people like you who think we’re monsters and grew up being brainwashed into thinking it. That people like you think people like me aren’t worth the same. And I really want you to believe you’ll change for Taehyung’s sake, and it hasn’t been that long, it isn’t that easy, not something that will change overnight, but it still frustrates me.”

He whips around then, and there’s something harsh pushing into Jeongguk’s throat a second later. It cuts off his airway.

Jeongguk stumbles back, but Hoseok is pushing him into the wall so he has nowhere to go.

Taehyung’s there, but Hoseok’s holding a hand up to him. “Let me have this. Revenge is how both of us work, right? Common variable between human and vampire?”

It doesn’t necessarily hurt, but it makes panic because he can’t suck any oxygen in. Can’t exhale from the paintbrush going into his windpipe. 

“Everyone’s protective of me. I am the weak link,” Hoseok says, and his eyes are normal despite his tone. “But I am still strong, and I also will do what I have to do to survive. I have zero want to hurt you, so can we come to an agreement? Even if you don’t trust anyone else here, trust me to not hurt you? If I had it in me to do so for no reason, Taehyung wouldn’t be letting me do this.”

Taehyung’s agitated, hand coming up here and there, and Jeongguk gets it. That’s how both of them work. Kill those they see as a danger to them, get revenge. 

Last night was just proof that they do the same shit for survival. Humans and vampires.

And Jeongguk knows, deep in his gut, if Taehyung thought Hoseok was actually a danger to him, he’d never allow him to lock himself in his room with him. To threaten something so close to his jugular when Hoseok’s strong enough to kill him with it. 

Jeongguk nods his head, holding his hand up as if to shake it when Hoseok nudges him with the brush. Hoseok looks skeptical for a minute, but he thankfully pulls the brush away. 

With a gasp, Jeongguk breathes in as much as he can. His chest aches, and he doesn’t mind the hand Taehyung presses to it. Taehyung’s eyes are pools of black, but Jeongguk doesn’t even pay mind to it. He can feel the blood from Yoongi’s nails earlier under his finger when he grasps his neck. 

“Alright,” Hoseok says, grabbing tight to Jeongguk’s hand. “I’m actually impressed. I didn’t think you had it into you to apologize.”

Jeongguk’s throat hurts, and he isn’t sure if he should speak. “Was that necessary?”

Hoseok wrinkles his nose at him as he points roughly at the marks on his own throat. “Was this? You’re a good hunter, Guk. Did you really think if you killed me you could leave?”

Jeongguk shrugs, resting back against the wall, trying to catch his breath. “I don’t know if I’d rather die or not.”

Hoseok’s face falls. Taehyung looks away, walks a few feet off to the side, hesitates with his body half turned to them, before he completely disappears down the hallway.  

“Our clan is full of tension and distrust because of how our alpha is acting with you here,” Hoseok says quietly, glancing towards the hallway Taehyung disappeared down. “It isn’t good for a clan, but we get it. The only reason Yoongi accepted Taehyung as an alpha is because of Jimin. It’s how mates work. We’re willing to be patient because you may not know this about mates, but your death would kill him. And we’re not willing to lose him like you seem to be.”

Jeongguk grabs Hoseok’s arm before he can turn away from him. He keeps his touch light, to show it’s not threatening but just for attention. “If you still are open to talking about it with me, I’d like to learn.”

Excitement fills Hoseok’s face as he holds up a palm, and it takes Jeongguk a second to realize they’re supposed to high five. “Fuck yeah. Let’s go, right now.”

Jeongguk hesitates. He likes how happy and bubbly Hoseok is, but he surely can’t be this forgiving. “Hoseokie, I am sorry I hurt you.”

Hoseok coos, patting his cheek softly. “I saw the fear in your eyes, Jeongguk. I could feel how strong it was. When we agreed to let you stay, we knew what we were getting ourselves into.”

Chapter Text

Hoseok’s bedroom is like his hallway. The walls are covered in a collage of painted drawings, from one that’s nothing but flowers, to another that has different animals. It’s a bit of an eye sore, but they’re all drawn well. 

“Taehyung drew them,” Hoseok explains as he pulls out a chair and pats it for Jeongguk to sit. “He went through a down time for a couple weeks. Ended up decorating the entire house.” 

Jeongguk feels a little uncomfortable, but he sits down and tries not to show it. Part of him wonders if Hoseok has some ability to make people like him like Jeongguk had originally suspected, to want to protect him to explain why Jeongguk feels so immensely bad.

But the other part of him thinks he’s never met anyone who seems so bright despite all the darkness in the world. The world full of darkness and death, something Hoseok knows about, is overpowering yet Hoseok still somehow seems to shine.

He felt bad before talking to Hoseok but afterwards, he feels even worse. The talk about being held hostage and understanding could have been a ruse to try and show them that they’re a lot alike, but Jeongguk could see it in his eyes that he had experienced it.   

“There was a rumor you died,” Hoseok explains as he sits on his bed. A smile so easily on his lips despite everything that’s happened. “A vampire bragging they killed the infamous Jeon Jeongguk. Jin felt it was a trap they were trying to lure Taehyung into, you know. Or get him to bring them to you. The vampire was young, no one believed he was capable. It was the wrong city. But god, Taehyung sure did not handle waiting for Jin to come back from seeing if you were still alive. He acts really stupid when it comes to you.”

It makes Jeongguk’s chest heavy. A vampire bragging about killing him. Maybe it should up his pride that he’s had that much of an effect on the vampire community, and maybe it would. But right now, it just adds to his discomfort. 

 “I think it’s probably like how humans fall in love,” Hoseok explains thoughtfully as he kicks his slippers off his feet and they land successfully into place by the door. “But everything with vampires is like ten times that of a human. You know, our senses, agility. Emotions. Human emotions are so quiet usually that I actually struggle to hear them.”

The other slipper lands successfully too, and Hoseok pumps a fist in victory. Jeongguk’s thankful he’s forgiven him, but it also just makes him feel more shitty. He doesn’t even know a human as nice as Hoseok.

“But I have felt both when it comes to losing a loved one. When I was going through medical school, there were many people at the hospital who lost their loved ones. Their partners. It’s the loudest I ever heard a human.” Hoseok nibbles on his bottom lip for a second, eyes wide and round as they look over him. “But I physically can’t be around a vampire who lost their mate. It feels like I’m being tortured. Those weeks Taehyung thought you could be dead, I left the mansion because I couldn’t deal with it. But the feeling that went through him when it was confirmed you were alive? It hurt just as much, but it was that good kind of hurt, you know?”

Jeongguk looks down at his hands, at the bands wrapped around his fingers. He touches each one. They look so different on him than they did Taehyung. Their hands are shaped completely differently, but he still wonders how they’d fit together.

“Mates aren’t like, two souls destined for the other or a perfect match,” Hoseok explains. “You can see someone as your mate and them not feel the same way, just like humans. Like the alpha Taehyung killed? She was in love with one while someone else was in love with her. It doesn’t stop the way you’re drawn to them, how you’d do anything for them, or make it easier if they died. I guess it doesn’t even have to be romantic, or the relationship doesn’t have to be.”

Jeongguk twists the ring around his middle finger. The one he saw the most from how often Taehyung used to flick him off. It makes his chest light thinking that’s one of his most memorable moments, and how that comes in with the memories of him loving him. They talked shit and teased each other, but Jeongguk loved it. 

“You’re sad now,” Hoseok says, resting against his hand as he lays on his side. 

It actually doesn’t feel like sadness, the feeling in his chest. Maybe he’s so used to anger and how overpowering it is that this feels light in comparison. “The being drawn to your mate? Is that why Taehyung seems to struggle to control himself around me?”

Hoseok looks hesitant, wearing that half cringe half smile thing again. “It’s not really control but like, overpowering I guess? I’ve never experienced it so I’m not the best to explain it, but I doubt you want to ask anyone here who has. I have a theory, but I don’t want to scare you off.”

Jeongguk almost laughs. “Yoongi just almost killed me. I don’t think a theory could scare me.”

Despite his assurance, Hoseok looks uncomfortable as he sits up and runs his fingers through his hair. He stays quiet for a moment, and Jeongguk doesn’t push him. He really has no right to ask Hoseok for this anyway, but he thinks it’s something Hoseok wants. He’s constantly asking Jeongguk to talk about these things.

“It’s our instinct to survive right? And vampires with mates cannot when theirs die. The need to protect them is like, for example, if you were drowning, your body still tries to breathe even if you know in your head, all you’ll do is take in water. So when they’re human.” Hoseok stalls, glancing at Jeongguk like he’s constipated. “I feel like it’s a pull to turn them so their chance of survival increases. Our instinct telling us it’s how we protect them and therefore ourselves. A natural reaction.”

It isn’t fear that settles inside of Jeongguk. But it hits him hard. It hits him hard and his brain starts to race. He’s speechless for the most part, and Hoseok must sense his feelings or see it on his face because the words start to fall out of his mouth.

“Just my theory, nothing proved,” Hoseok rushes out. “I just thought that way because Yoongi says it’s died down some since Jimin’s turned. And - and, Jimin didn’t think when he turned Taehyung. He just couldn’t bear the idea of him dying. So, I just kind of thought - stop freaking out. I’m not an expert.”

Jeongguk doesn’t feel like he’s freaking out, but his breath does come out a little faster. He tries to school his features, and he starts to hate that Hoseok can feel emotions. How many times has he tried to pretend to act unbothered or interested, and Hoseok could feel how hostile he was?

“I’m not saying that’s what is happening here or that even if it’s true, Taehyung would,” Hoseok goes on, now standing up to his feet and offering Jeongguk his hand. Jeongguk only looks at it.

He thinks his mind has completely short circuited.

Death and being held here forever were the only two options here in his mind. He should have known better. After seeing Taehyung as a vampire when it never crossed his mind that it would be possible, he should have known.

His theory about hindsight only being good for learning lessons doesn’t apply to him apparently. 

The thought had occurred to him briefly outside, what he would do if he was put in the same situation as Jimin and Taehyung. But it was like the same feeling of thinking what happens when you die and just no longer existing. It feels out of body, impossible to grasp the concept of. 

“When you first told me Taehyung looked like he lost control, he had gone two months without eating. He should be eating every other week, alright? And he didn’t. I meant it you’re safe, alright?” Hoseok’s practically begging him now to listen, but Jeongguk doesn’t think he can properly hear him. 

Jeongguk licks over his dry mouth. His throat feels like sandpaper. He hasn’t eaten or drank anything today, and he feels dizzy. He shakes his head a few times, unsure if it’s for himself to get the thoughts out or to assure Hoseok he isn’t upset at him. 

Hoseok slumps back onto the bed, looking devastated. “Thank god I never became a doctor. I would be shit at telling someone they were sick.”

Jeongguk stands, hands rubbing over his thighs. He waves a hand at Hoseok. “It was bad enough that he was going to feed from me -”

“He wasn’t going to,” Hoseok quickly denies, jumping up too to follow him though Jeongguk doesn’t do anything pace around the room. “He just had an overpowering urge to.”

“Not helping,” Jeongguk says, pointing an accusing finger at him. 

“You’re absolutely correct,” Hoseok quickly replies, nodding his head. 

“I think this is crap. It’s not about mates,” Jeongguk starts, and even he knows how unsure he sounds. “I think Taehyung fucked up his plan to show me he isn’t a monster, and now this is some way to remedy that. And he has you telling me because you’re the only one I like.”

Hoseok’s face brightens at that, and Jeongguk groans in complaint. “Not the point, Hoseok.”

“Just an important one,” Hoseok mumbles under his breath as he sits back down on the bed. “No one is trying to trick you here, Guk. I get you hate vampires, but you’re starting to sound extremely paranoid.”

Jeongguk slumps back into his seat, pressing his fists beneath his chin. “People use weaknesses against their enemies. This is my weakness. It would make sense to use it against me.”

Hoseok’s smile softens. “You’re not an enemy. The fact you think we are one is what puts us on guard, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk doesn’t respond to that, and Hoseok allows the silence for once. He’s thankful, because his head is already too loud. There’s a war going on, his thoughts flying through his brain like bullets. “It doesn’t make sense. That’s the last thing I want, and I almost let him do it.”

It happens again. The hesitation, the cringey face, the awkward laugh. Hoseok looks as if he could shit his pants. “Maybe I’m wrong, and it’s just a sex thing.”

Jeongguk stands up to his feet and leaves the room, leaving Hoseok to nervously laugh in his room by himself. 

To no one’s surprise, Taehyung is standing in the hallway. Leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed and a blank expression on his face. He’s close to the end, but that’s still too close for ears like his.

“Yoongi’s still in a wicked mood,” he explains, tone just as flat as Hoseok’s had been. His eyes are focused on Jeongguk’s injured neck, and Jeongguk’s more than aware of it. “I trust he won’t actually hurt you, but I’m cautious. As Hoseok just explained why.”

Heat rises to Jeongguk’s face, but not out of embarrassment. He’s frustrated and kind of overwhelmed, and he thinks sitting outside gave him a sunburn. He doesn’t entertain that with a response, just walks past Taehyung with the intention of heading to the kitchen. 

He makes it about halfway there before his mind and stubbornness gets the best of him, and he whips around knowing Taehyung is behind him. He can’t hear him, he can just sense that he is there. 

And he is, though he’s a lot closer than Jeongguk anticipated. So much so that Jeongugk takes a step back in surprise just to take another step forward. 

“Let’s get one thing straight here. I’m not yours. Not your - your mate. And if you try to turn me, I will kill you.”

It’s annoying how Taehyung doesn’t flinch or react even when Jeongguk steps closer into his space. He never did, not even before. Always on the same level as Jeongguk, taking his jabs and offering up his own with ease.

“That threat is getting old,” Taehyung says, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes dart to Jeongguk’s neck again, and it’s not helping his thoughts. “You’ve had a chance to and didn’t.”

He’s right. Jeongguk hates that he’s right. “Well, this is a different circumstance.”

Taehyung’s lips quirk up, but it’s small. “I have no intention of ever doing that, Jeon. I am quite a fan of the sound of your heartbeat.”

He holds out a pinky, but Jeongguk ignores it. He’s too suddenly aware of the heavy silver band around it. He slips his hands into his pockets to emphasize how much he’s ignoring it. 

The suspicions Jeongguk had that Taehyung caused his dream return. If Taehyung knew the way Jeongguk kissed his wrist because he too is a fan of Taehyung’s heartbeat.

“Then why can’t you keep your eyes off my neck?”

The tip of Taehyung’s tongue pokes into his cheek before it digs into the corner of his lips, swiping over the bottom one. His teeth catch into it next, nostrils flaring as his eyes look over him one more time, and it lights something inside of Jeongguk that he really wishes wouldn’t.

“Because you’re injured,” Taehyung finally says. He swallows thickly, and Jeongguk doesn’t miss it. “And just because I wish to taste you, Jeongguk, does not mean I wish to kill or turn you.”

Taste you. It’s such a crude way to put it, and it makes the feeling inside of Jeongguk even worse. “Well, I know I’m irresistible, but control yourself around me.”

Taehyung laughs. Jeongguk hates that he’s hit with how much he’s missed the sound of it. “That won’t be a problem.”

“And you don’t have to avoid me,” Jeongguk goes on because he started and now he can’t stop himself. 

“Okay, then it might be a problem.”

There’s still a grin on Taehung’s face, and Jeongguk pushes him in the shoulder for it. It’s a light tap, really. “Don’t joke about it. I’m having a hard time with it. With all of this. I’m feeling really fucked up in the head.”

“Okay, okay,” Taehyung says, holding his hands up. 

“I don’t trust vampires. I don’t trust you aren’t going to manipulate me,” Jeongguk continues, but he falters. “But I always trusted Taehyung. Maybe even more than Namjoon.”

Taehyung’s expression softens, the amusement fading into something serious. He nods his head in understanding. “I’m avoiding you for your comfort because I don’t want these constant reminders anymore. It is hard for me not to express how much I want you, and strong emotions make my eyes.” He waves at them, but doesn’t explain. He doesn’t have to. “Every time that happens, you remind me how you feel. With your words, the anger in your eyes. I don’t want that to keep happening. I’m still trying to figure out the right pace here. I acted stupid when you got here, and I really regret it, and I’m trying to make you feel comfortable, but I have no fucking idea how to do that and protect my clan at the same time.” 

Jeongguk bites his cheek, not sure what to say to that. But Taehyung’s mouth continues to move. He just doesn’t register what he’s saying at first.

“Go on a hunt with me. Like we used to. See you can trust me again. Take some of that hatred for vampires out on someone that isn’t in my clan. It’s what your entire life was about before. Maybe it will make you feel less trapped here.”

That feels like a trap. Jeongguk glares at Taehyung for it. “I said I don’t trust you and you want me to go into a nest with you?”

Taehyung nods without pause. “I’ll give you a weapon.”

“A gun.”

Another laugh from Taehyung. He looks away from him, licking his lips again. Jeongguk wonders how hard it is for him with how close they are, with Jeongguk still bleeding. If he’s trying to prove he has control over himself.

“Yeah. You’re the best with one,” Taehyung admits. 

Jeongguk crosses his arms, peering at him. “Who else would go?”

“Just us,” Taehyung says, slipping his hands into his pockets as he tilts his head to the side. He may be able to control his eyes from going black right now, but Jeongguk thinks Taehyung isn’t even aware that he’s speaking to the wound on his neck instead of his face. “So what do you say?”

Jeongguk laughs too. In disbelief. “I say you must be really desperate to prove you’re not a monster if you’re willing to risk going somewhere, just the two of us, with me armed knowing how good of a shot I am. Or you think I’m idiotic enough to walk into a trap.”

Taehyung holds up his pointer finger. “The first one, yes. It isn’t a trap. The alpha that attacked you? I don’t trust her clan not to retaliate. Even if we had the grounds to kill her, the rules get a little messy when it comes to mates. I want to wipe them out before they can attack us.” 

It’s bullshit. It must be bullshit. Jeongguk cracks his neck from side to side, trying to think of the words to say. “You’d kill your own kind?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes to the point they’re almost completely white. “This isn’t a game of morals, Jeongguk. It’s a game of survival. And as Hoseok told you, protecting you is part of my survival. So yes. I would. If you’re interested, I want to leave around midnight.”

And with that, Taehyung exhales out sharply, a sound of distress in it, and disappears.

It could be a trap.

It’s most likely a trap.

Maybe Jeongguk’s an idiot.

Taehyung always called him one, but now he feels like it. Fist hovering over Taehyung’s bedroom door. 

He can’t do this.

But Taehyung had also been right. If Jeongguk can’t go anywhere, he may as well go back to routine. Clean out a nest, figure out how to escape. They have to leave the island, he’s sure. Maybe he’ll find out where they keep the boats.

He knocks.

It’s immediate the way Taehyung answers, like he had been waiting by it. It annoys Jeongguk even more. He juts his chin out, hands slipping into his pockets. “I’ll go. But I was serious about having a gun.”

Taehyung leans into the door, eyes slowly trailing up Jeongguk’s outfit. He focuses on Jeongguk’s neck again, which has now been cleaned but the marks left behind stand out against his skin. “You gonna go in that?”

Jeongguk glares down at his red basketball shorts. The clothes Taehyung had given to him were exactly like the things he owned. The fact that Taehyung remembered small things like what kind of pants Jeongguk wore to bed made him think too much. 

The books he had gotten for him were as Taehyung said, his favorite.

“For some strange reason, the closet you’ve given me doesn’t come with hunting gear.”

Taehyung grins, eyes bright as he grabs Jeongguk by the shirt and tugs him in. 

His bedroom is very different than Jeongguk’s. It’s filled with different colors and modern furniture. Famous art pieces on the walls and yellow black out curtains over the windows. 

It’s massive. Largest room Jeongguk’s seen so far. Most likely to accommodate the bed that sits in the middle, which looks long enough to fit at least twelve Taehyung’s. It’s plush too, thick and covered in blankets that resemble clouds.

Back in the bunker, Taehyung never had a bed. He hates that thought comes into his mind right now. He’s happy Taehyung finally got one. 

“There’s three vampires,” Taehyung says as he walks through the room. He’s already dressed in hunting gear. Tight but flexible black pants, covered in straps to hold various items. A shirt that clings to his torso, shows that his body is one thing becoming a vampire hasn’t changed. There’s a knife at his hip already, and two strapped to his calves.

Before, Taehyung wore them out, showed off their silver. But now they’re tucked into what looks to be leather casings.

“The oldest is about a century old. Should be easy,” Taehyung goes on. “I’ll explain the layout of their nest on the way there. They’re an island over.”

Jeongguk tries his best not to look around Taehyung’s room like he wants to. To explore it like he always craved to at the bunker but just getting near it was enough to make Jeongguk want to break down the punching bag in the training room.  “Where are we?”

“About a hundred miles from Japan into the North Pacific. An archipelago that’s off the map. It’s always been inhabited by vampire clans. This one belonged to Jin’s alpha but became mine when I killed him,” Taehyung says, a cocky twist to his lips. 

Jeongguk doesn’t miss the fact that Taehyung doesn’t tell him in which direction from Japan. There’s no way he can swim a hundred miles or even a few meters really, and it’s even more daunting that any possible land he could come across will be also surrounded by vampires. 

That if it’s off the map and unknown to hunters, there’s no way Namjoon would be able to find him even if he knew Jeongguk’s predicament.

“Help yourself to my gear,” Taehyung says, dragging Jeongguk to another door that’s already propped open. “I’ll close the door. Only for privacy reasons. I’m not trapping you in.”

It’s a bit uncomfortable and awkward, but Jeongguk makes his way through Taehyung’s closet and tries not to convince himself this really is a shitty idea. 

Taehyung had already told him he’s gone back to the bunker after he died, but it really hits Jeongguk when he takes in the shirts he recognizes. Taehyung’s jeans, the one with ink stain on the side. The ones he had to make into shorts when he tore them below the knee during a raid. 

He had to get stitches then, and Jeongguk wonders if he still has the scar or if that one disappeared too. He smiles softly at the memory of how much Taehyung complained and squirmed and made Jeongguk’s life hell every time he brought the needle down towards his skin. 

The hunting gear is the same too. The ones they’ve spent days making together with Namjoon. It smells like home, Jeongguk thinks as he takes the black fabric into his hands and decides it’s the one for him.

It’s awkward getting naked, and he’s afraid Taehyung will come in any moment, so he quickly changes. The pants are a bit tight around his legs, sagging around his waist and ass. He grabs for a belt even though it’s something he could go into his own closet and get.

Taehyung whistles as he steps out, hand up in the air. “Kim and Jeon, destruction duo back at it. You ever decide on a badass name to go with my Demolisher ?”

Jeongguk hesitates, his discomfort growing. When he doesn’t high five Taehyung back, the smile on his face falters for a moment. He’s just thinking about the first time they met, when Taehyung called himself and offered to keep him company in his massively big bed.

He tries not to glance at the one that’s to the left of them and practically triple the size of Jeongguk’s back at the bunker.

“I’m good with Jeon.”

Taehyung looks disappointed. “Boring. You come from a long line of Jeon hunters. Think of something more original.”

Jeongguk grins. “Sorry my birth name isn’t original enough for you.”

“Forgiven when you come up with something better,” Taehyung replies, giving Jeongguk a cheek grin as he reaches out and squeezes Jeongguk’s bicep. “Mmm, maybe the Rock .”

They’ve always teased each other, but Jeongguk isn’t used to this kind of teasing. The way Taehyung bites on his bottom lip as he fondles his bicep makes a heat pool in his stomach. “I think that’s already taken, Tae.”

“Lame. Let’s go before it’s too late,” Taehyung says, keeping his hand on him to direct him towards the door. “I hope you understand, I feel more comfortable giving you the gun when we’re off the island.”

Jeongguk doesn’t like that, but he nods. It’s not like he’s more or less safe without one on their way to the next island over. Unless they’re ambushed. 

Part of Jeongguk trusts that it’s not a trap. From this clan at least. He doesn’t see why they’d keep him around for over a month just to kill him like this. Playing with their food for that long, unless it’s revenge for killing one of their lovers or something. He doesn’t remember any of the names or connections of the vampires he’s killed. 

They never mattered. 

“Precaution,” Taehyung says, and he even has the audacity to look sheepish about it. “So you don’t use it on my clan.”

“I got it, Tae.”

Taehyung looks at him for a long moment, nibbling on his bottom lip before he nods. “Alright. Let’s get it.”

There are some curious glances their way as they make it out of the house, but Jeongguk avoids all of them. Taehyung doesn’t say anything either, and Jeongguk wonders if they’ve all discussed it. If he used that demanding tone of his and made it so no one questioned his decision to take Jeongguk with him.

Jeongguk can’t help but ask. 

Taehyung lifts his brows in surprise. He strolls at a leisurely place, probably for his sake. “Oh, yeah, they’re completely against this. Jin’s been out for a few days. I’m sure if he was here, he’d find a way to stop this.”

Nodding, Jeongguk’s eyes latch onto the knives around Taehyung’s belt. That’s why Jin wasn’t with Yoongi trying to break down his bedroom door, he had been wondering. “How did you convince them?”

“I’m their alpha,” Taehyung explains simply. “They can’t really question me unless they want to leave. Which they’re free to. I try to keep our decisions as a group vote though, but there’s some things I have the final say on.”

“Like me staying.”

Taehyung nibbles over his bottom lip, and their shoulders brush as they make their way farther from the mansion. “Actually, that was a vote. Having you here is a huge risk to them, and I wasn’t going to make that final decision. They were the ones who decided if you stay or we leave.”

We . Jeongguk doesn’t miss it, though Taehyung seems to say it offhandedly as he peers towards the thick forest, which looks like a sea of black to Jeongguk. “We?” 

Adjusting his belt, Taehyung doesn’t say anything at first. He moves it around his waist, repositioning it. It seems fidgety, and Jeongguk wonders if he’s nervous. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Taehyung nervous before. “I wasn’t going to stay if they said  you couldn’t.”

Jeongguk makes a judgmental noise of belief, eyes rolling. “So you basically gave them an ultimatum.”

Taehyung pushes into him then, a smile on his lips. “No. I didn’t mean it like that. I saw you when they first brought you in. The way you looked. Sometimes, I can’t get it out of my head. I don’t think I’d physically have been able to let you leave alone, Jeongguk. You don’t - I mean. Well, everyone already knew I would have left with you even if I didn’t say it.”

At this moment, Jeongguk wonders what Hoseok would feel from Taehyung. If he’s saying it lightly, sadly, because Jeongguk can’t tell. He doesn’t know how he looked when he first came here, but he remembers the feeling that came every time he remembered what Taehyung looked like the day Jeongguk thought he died. 

“You want me to believe you’d abandon your clan for me?” Jeongguk says, amused disbelief laced through his words. 

“You want me to believe you’d abandon Namjoon for me ?” 

Jeongguk doesn’t respond as they walk past the stone wall at the edge of the mansion’s driveway. He tries to get in the mindset of a hunt, but he feels too light. The lack of weapons standing out. 

His brain too heavy.

“I would have,” Jeongguk finally says, voice a whisper, as Taehyung cups his elbow to guide him in a different direction than Jeongguk wandered before. “Leave Namjoon to go with you.”

Taehyung looks to him, fingers digging into his elbow and making them stop their movements. The moon is bright above them, but it makes a shadow fall over Taehyung that hides his expression. Makes it harder for Jeongguk to read it, though he thinks it’s never really been easy to.

“I should have said it the other day,” Taehyung starts, and Jeongguk tenses at the soft tone of his voice. The way he takes a step in closer, fingers still holding onto him and rubbing over his thermal shirt. “I’m sorry I let you think I was dead. I’m really sorry.”

Pain makes Jeongguk’s chest tight. It’s the wrong thing before a fight. There’s supposed to be no feelings during one, and they probably didn’t mean it like this, but it stands the same. It can be distracting. A bad omen. No heart to hearts before a raid.

“I really actually didn’t think it’d hurt you that badly,” Taehyung admits with a half laugh. “I knew you were attracted to me, but I didn’t think it went past that.”

In the dark, it’s hard to see Taehyung as anyone but the one in his memories. How often they walked back to the bunker beneath the moonlight, talking shit usually and nothing quite like this. Jeongguk wished many times they could have a conversation like this.

“I was not obviously attracted to you,” Jeongguk denies gruffly.

Taehyung snorts, his hand moving from Jeongguk’s elbow to fall to his waist. Fingers just laying there. “It was really obvious, Jeon.”

“Whatever,” Jeongguk grunts. “Pretty sure you’re the one that always talked about my dick.”

“You’re really shitty at showing emotions other than angst and anger and attraction,” Taehyung giggles, and there’s a hand cupping Jeongguk’s face as Taehyung steps closer. 

“Is attraction even an emotion?” Jeongguk whispers, breathes out because Taehyung gets so close. His eyes so normal even when his fingers trail down to the side of Jeongguk’s injured neck, just above where the silver choker rests. 

“I don’t know,” Taehyung whispers, and Jeongguk can hear his smile. “But I didn’t know it would hurt. And I’m sorry for not telling you.” 

Jeongguk nods. “I understand why you didn’t.”

Taehyung’s breath seems to catch in his lungs. His eyes widening a bit. It isn’t a peace treaty, but Jeongguk gets it. Since this morning, he’s been thinking about it. What he would do if he was turned. If he’d be as desperate to let Namjoon know he’s alive or let him keep thinking he had died. 

If it’s true that vampires keep part of their human selves, love the ones they did when they were humans, would he do the same thing as Taehyung? Protect Namjoon from the shadows. 

Jeongguk’s just undecided if they do have parts of themselves still inside of them. He feels himself leaning towards yes when he thinks about Taehyung. 

“You do?”

Jeongguk looks down between them. He can’t see much, but it keeps his eyes away from Taehyung who can most likely see them. “I made a promise to get you out of there. And I didn’t keep it. And I’ve never regretted anything more in my life.”

Taehyung sighs, his hand falling from Jeongguk’s neck. “We should get going, Jeongguk.”

With a nod, Jeongguk starts to move, but Taehyung grabs onto his thumb so he can’t. Confusion fills Taehyung when nothing but silence comes. Just the sounds of the night, the distant sound of the water. The breath Taehyung takes.

“I need you to do something for me,” Taehyung murmurs, squeezing down on the pad of Jeongguk’s thumb. “I know you’ll hate it. But I’m worried about your injury, and it’s distracting me. It’ll also draw attention to the nest before we get there.”

Jeongguk’s gut tightens with dread, and he pulls his thumb from Taehyung. “What is it?”

Taehyung sighs. “Close your eyes.”

Jeongguk scoffs. “Fuck you. Tell me what it is.”

“I need to heal you,” Taehyung says simply, and before Jeongguk can ask anymore, Taehyung’s bringing his hand up to his palm and biting into it.

Stuck, Jeongguk just stares at him. Eyebrows pushed together, head slightly moving back as he watches Taehyung kiss that fattest part of his palm beneath his thumb with an opened mouth. 

“I’m not.” Jeongguk starts, head shaking. Namjoon had said it strengthens a human, gives them an advantage, but Jeongguk can’t really process that people actually drink vampire blood. That Namjoon has and said it doesn’t even taste bad.

What the fuck was that? Jeongguk still wants to know. It’s like he’s learning more things about Namjoon being apart from him than with him every day. 

“Then I’ll go alone,” Taehyung says as he pulls away. “I’ll walk you back.”

Jeongguk grabs his shirt sleeve. “You knew I was injured when you asked me. Did you plan this?”

Maybe it’s from years of experience with Taehyung, but even though he can’t see it, Jeongguk knows he’s rolling his eyes. “No. I am extra sensitive to you. You smell very strong to me, and I just - I thought I could handle it. I’m fucking stubborn, okay? I told myself I could. But I don’t know if I can. So there you have it, Jeon. You’ve got a weakness on me.”

Jeongguk grins at the annoyed sound of Taehyung’s tone. He glances at Taehyung’s hand, but he can’t see. His heart pounds a little harder in his chest, and he knows Taehyung can feel it. 

Drinking vampire blood doesn’t turn a human. It takes the exchanging of blood, and a lot of it. Drinking it can start the process, but he’d have to drink a lot of it. 

Why the fuck is he wondering what it tastes like?

“Makes you a little stronger too,” Taehyung says casually, informatively. “You may actually stand a chance against me.”

“Pathetic,” Jeongguk huffs, but he can’t take his eyes away from Taehyung’s hand. “Groveling here, Taehyung.”

Taehyung leans in some, puts little space between them. He can feel Taehyung’s breath against his cheek. “I’ll beg for you to take it. I’ve missed fighting beside you, and I want some excitement in my life again. Jeon and Kim, back at it again.”

Jeongguk stomach twists when Taehyung brings his hand up, but Jeongguk can’t fully make out the wound on it. “You swear on Jimin’s life this isn’t a trick?”

For a second, Taehyung doesn’t move or say a word. “I swear on yours.”

There must be something wrong with him. He must be drugged or something. Manipulated again, he doesn’t know. There’s been whisperings in his mind that Taehyung’s been genuine in everything he says, but decades of distrust are in his mind.

That’s why Jeongguk doesn’t really know what he’s doing, feels like he must be getting manipulated, when he lets Taehyung bring his palm to his mouth.

Maybe it’s curiosity, or like Namjoon said, doing anything for the mission. Get a little stronger, wipe out a nest. Perhaps wipe out Taehyung’s. 

Taehyung hums, his other hand pressing against the back of Jeongguk’s head when his mouth opens. He scratches at his scalp, and it feels amazing. Warms Jeongguk from head to toe. 

Maybe it’s a dream again. He still doesn’t believe Taehyung had nothing to do with that. It felt so real, as does this. The liquid against his tongue, the way Taehyung’s body presses tight into his.

The feeling that goes through Jeongguk’s body. He can’t quite put a name on it as he covers the back of Taehyung’s hand with his own and presses his mouth harder against it. It makes him feel light headed, light all over. Like after the body starts to calm after an intense orgasm. After a deep muscle massage, tension releasing from every inch of him.

Taehyung gasps quietly, his exhale stuttered out. It brushes against Jeongguk’s cheek a moment before he feels Taehyung’s mouth ghosting over it. It sparks something inside of him, and he opens his mouth wider, sucks harder. 

“Ah, Jeongguk,” Taehyung grunts, his voice deeper and raspier than Jeongguk’s heard it before. He tugs in Jeongguk’s hair, making Jeongguk pull off. 

He brings his palm up to his mouth and quickly licks over the wounds.

Jeongguk has the oddest urge to kiss Taehyung, but he focuses on touching over his neck. Feeling nothing but smooth skin, uninjured. There’s a static lingering in his body, and a little bit of horror at himself. 

His heart is racing so fast, it feels like the sound of it interrupts the quiet of the night. 

“Not so bad, right?” Taehyung asks, sounding breathless as he claps Jeongguk’s shoulder. His voice still raspy, he doesn’t take a step back as he rubs at the back of Jeongguk’s neck. Face still closed, Jeongguk thinks again about kissing him. 

It’s an absurd thought. Just as absurd as the fact that Jeongguk just let him coax him into drinking his blood.

What the fuck .

Jeongguk can’t speak. Even if he wants to, he can’t. He just stares at Taehyung until it feels awkward before them, and Taehyung’s taking a step back to gesture towards the right. 

“We should get going now,” Taehyung says. “Come on, Jeon.”

The boat is on another beach, one with less sand and more trees. There’s a few of them actually, hooked up to a long series of docks. Taehyung takes him to the last one, a speed boat that has no markings on it other than a painting of a bunny on the bow.

It’s so dark that Jeongguk still really doesn’t have a good idea of how they got here. He wonders if that was Taehyung’s goal. To distract him enough that he wouldn’t focus on where they were going. 

“This is mine,” Taehyung says, hopping over the ledge and holding a hand out to Jeongguk. 

Jeongguk doesn’t take it. Maybe he shouldn’t do this. Taehyung could throw him overboard, and he’d be screwed. He can’t swim, actually. He’s never had the opportunity to. “I’ve never been on a boat before.”

It makes Taehyung shine again. “I can run over water,” he explains, his smirk turning cocky. “If we start to sink, I’ll carry you to shore. We have a helicopter, but it’s too noisy for this.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, but he isn’t giving in. He grabs Taehyung’s hand and leaps into the boat. He misses the fact that he actually leaps higher than usual, barely holding onto Taehyung’s hand. 

It’s rocky, and Jeongguk hates how off balance he feels. He doesn’t trust Taehyung’s driving or how fast the boat goes. He hopes it isn’t noticeable how white his knuckles turn from grabbing onto the edge when the boat’s bow picks up in speed. 

Jeongguk isn’t terrified of things that make up people’s horror stories, but he is of boats apparently.

He feels sick by the time they slow towards another shore. He listens to Taehyung explain the nest they’re going to, one he’s visited before and knows the layout of. As he explains the island and the plan, but he’s so tense that he feels wobbly when they first park the boat. 

The blood thing must be a scam, unless it takes longer to set in. Jeongguk doesn’t feel any different. So far his senses are the same, but he’s curious to see if they heighten when they get close to the nest. When instinct takes over. 

“Here,” Taehyung says as he stops the engine and turns around. He hesitates for only a moment before he takes the gun out of his waistband and gives it to Jeongguk.

It’s heavy in his hand. Familiar. He pops open the chamber and dumps the bullets into his hand. Inspecting them, making sure they’re silver. 

Taehyung’s expression is blank as he watches Jeongguk put the bullets back and adjust the gun in his hands, getting comfortable with the feel of one again. 

“I could kill you and steal your boat,” Jeongguk tells him as Taehyung’s eyes dart from his hands to his face. Jeongguk cocks his gun. “I have perfect aim.”

“I know,” Taehyung nods, revealing nothing on his face. It’s completely blank, and if there’s anything in his eyes, the night masks it. 

It’s true. He could do it. Right now. It’s his perfect opportunity. He tried his best to pay attention to how Taehyung started the boat, how he drove it. He really doesn’t know in which direction they came, but he’d know the other island when he came up to it. He’s sure. He just has to count on there being enough gas to get him a hundred miles to the coast of Japan, which he also doesn’t know the direction of.

But the moment Taehyung says that, he jumps off the boat and starts walking across the shore. Giving Jeongguk his back, though he’d be able to hear it enough to stop it if Jeongguk were to shoot him.

Jeongguk stays there only for a moment before he follows.

Taehyung had done a perfect job at describing the nest. It takes less time to get to it than on Taehyung’s island, which he had explained were the two smallest. Others are home to multiple clans.

It’s a smaller, more modest building. Made out of stone. Much less modern. From years of studying layouts, Jeongguk can picture the inside in his mind as if he’s been there. But it doesn’t make him confident. It’s night time, and the way Taehyung breaks the door knob is so loud it shatters the silence.

When the clan had visited, Taehyung says he had put something in the glass of blood he offered them to weaken them for a few days. But that had only been two out of the three. And Jeongguk doesn’t know what it is, doesn’t know how effective it could be.  

It’s quiet inside. No lights on, which leaves Jeongguk to a disadvantage. It’s an open space, a wide stairwell directly across from the front door. A sitting room to the right, an empty space that leads to another parlor to the right. There’s no signs of living at all, despite the fact that there’s no dust.

Nothing on the tables, no shoes by the door. No coats. Things vampires don’t really need. The old ones don’t care too much as pretending to be human.

Jeongguk strains his ears and eyes, but his hearing and sight isn’t any better than it normally is. If Taehyung had been the only one to tell him his blood would make him stronger, that’s one thing. But Namjoon would never lie to him like this. 

“Jeon, left.”

It’s like no time has passed. The way they fall into their old dance, the way Jeongguk falls into the hunt. Jeongguk’s back hitting Taehyung’s, both of them circling around without needing to communicate which steps to take.

He tries to focus on what Taehyung’s taught him, the listening, the feeling. On keeping himself calm so his heart doesn’t make it hard to do so.  

Jeongguk realizes his willingness to die makes him uncaring if this is a trap. This is how he’d prefer to die. Going down in a raid. With Taehyung covering his back. He just hopes if he were to die, Taehyung would give him his normal eyes and not his black ones in his last moments. 

The only difference in their old dance routine is Taehyung. New senses, new abilities. For the first time in any of their hunts, Jeongguk can’t follow Taehyung’s movement as easily. Maybe he had tried giving him the blood to level the playing field between the two of them, but it didn’t fucking work. 

It throws him off, the way Taehyung suddenly turns and hooks an arm around his neck, keeping their bodies pressed together. It’s so fast, Jeongguk doesn’t register the gun over his shoulder or see the target until it stops in mid air. Frozen, a hole in it’s chest before it falls to the ground.

But he’s quick, trained, aiming his gun above them to the second floor balcony and shooting. The first one always brings a second vampire right away. The best fighters other than the alphas. The front lines. 

The restraint around him makes his first shot miss, but when he watches the vampire stagger up, he doesn’t miss a second time. 

Maybe his sight is a little better, but he doesn’t think so. He’s practiced shooting moving targets hundreds of times with minimal light to be able to do this. 

“Don’t do that,” Jeongguk grunts, shoving Taehyung off. 

“This way,” Taehyung says, ignoring him and unbothered. 

Heightened senses are an advantage, Jeongguk guesses he understands why hunters may think drinking blood beforehand helps. It could be a placebo, and Jeongguk’s too much of a critic for it to work on him.  

Taehyung can hear the last one. They’re always hidden. Outnumbered, afraid because their counterparts went down so easily. 

It shouldn’t be this easy, Jeongguk knows. It’s loud in his mind as he keeps his back pressed to Taehyung, focusing enough to hear how Taehyung moves because it’s quieter than ever. 

Despite this, it seems like second nature when Taehyung takes one step forward while Jeongguk’s already lifting his foot to take one step back. 

“ Oh, Tae Tae .”

It’s a female. Singing. Jeongguk’s on high alert, eyes darting over every inch of the room. Over the old fashioned furnishings, looking anywhere for a potential hiding place. It sounds like her voice is coming from everywhere at once. “Kim, Location.”

“Upstairs.”

Stairs are a nightmare. Especially in open spaces like this. Jeongguk has to keep in his groan. This is why working in the daylight is an advantage to humans, but he understands Taehyung has to choose the night. 

Plus, Jeongguk doesn’t want him to pass out and then he has to figure out how to drive a boat in a fit full of panic. 

“ Do I smell a human with you? ”

“Wait her out,” Taehyung murmurs, and Jeongguk again senses his step before he takes it. They turn in time together, and Jeongguk’s adrenaline isn’t just from the hunt.

He missed this. Not just hunting but hunting with Taehyung. How connected they are. Two bodies moving together like they’re connected to one brain. The security he feels that he never has with another partner. How he just trusts Taehyung can handle himself and have his back at the same time, and vice versa. 

It feels like Jeongguk is home even if he’s thousands and thousands of miles away from the bunker. 

“ I do. He smells so much like you, Tae Tae. It isn’t that mate of yours by chance, is it? ”

Jeongguk grits his teeth and cocks his gun. “Come out bloodsucker.”

A laugh echoes through the room. They don’t move further in. The only way to access the second floor is through the staircase. If the vampire comes down, it has to be through that way. 

Jeongguk breathes in through his nose. He’s done this a million times. Successfully, every single time with Taehyung.

The two best hunters in Seoul. In South Korea. And now in this archipelago. 

“ Oh it is. How I’ve been wanting to eat him . He has such a unique scent to him. Tell me Tae Tae, does he taste as good as he smells? ”

The voice isn’t echoing any longer. It’s stationary, and Jeongguk’s heart leaps up into his throat as he realizes at the same time as Taehyung which direction it’s coming from. 

“Jeon, left.”

Jeongguk pivots, finger pressing on the trigger. He can hear her. Each foot that hits the ground. The way the air moves around her. He can see it actually. The space blurring around her despite how slow she seems to be running. Not even as fast as a human.

It’s still dark, but he can see. Perfectly. The glowing amber of her eyes. The ruby red of her lips. Her dress, all black for mourning. 

It confuses him for a moment. Everything moves slowly. The way her mouth opens to reveal the sharp fangs protruding from her gums. The soundwaves that visibly leave her mouth and shake the air between them before the sound of her snarl actually hits his ears. 

And it isn’t just her. He can hear Taehyung’s breathing. Can smell him. Can smell something else in the house too, a rush of different smells filtering through his nose, and Jeongguk can differentiate each one.

He can feel every inch of where he’s touching Taehyung. It feels like every inch of his body, even his front though he knows it’s only their backs that are pressed together.

There’s an emptiness in his chest. The heart beats so often that most of the time, Jeongguk isn’t aware of his own unless it picks up. But it’s not beating now, and it’s all Jeongguk can focus on.

“Fuck, Jeongguk -”

Jeongguk shoots. He watches as the bullet eases through the air, rippling it. The way it impacts her skin, the way it breaks open. It’s all loud. This gun doesn’t make noise, but he hears the shift of metal, the impact, the sound of the bullet going into her heart. 

Everything suddenly rushes forward as she slumps to the ground. It makes Jeongguk’s head lurch forward with how hard he’s hit with it, nausea and panic quickly building inside of him.

Namjoon didn’t say it was anything like that . 

“What the fuck was that?” Jeongguk snaps, refusing to lower his gun. It’s never this easy. They never leave without killing an alpha. He isn’t making that mistake again. 

His heart pounds now. From being completely unmoving to taking on it’s fastest pace yet in seconds.

“I’m the alpha,” Taehyung grunts, reading his mind as he presses a hand to Jeongguk’s gun to lower it. “I killed theirs. That makes them my subjugates.”

Jeongguk doesn’t lower the gun. He turns it to Taehyung, points it straight to his heart. It’s thundering from the fear of it not beating. Of whatever Taehyung just did. “What just happened to me?”

Taehyung’s face is hard, nostrils flaring. It aggravates Jeongguk more. He’s not supposed to be breathing. 

All those sounds that had hit Jeongguk’s ears, but not a single heartbeat in the house. Taehyung doesn’t have one. He shouldn’t be breathing. 

“I said what happened to me,” Jeongguk demands, the yell ripping through his throat. He’s fucking freaked out. He thinks he might panic again, but he forces an inhale through to try and calm his breathing. Namjoon would have told him if it was like this. It has to be something else. 

This isn’t him being stronger or faster. Time fucking slowed down. 

Taehyung’s own gun is back in it’s holster. He holds both hands up. “I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t think I could.”

Jeongguk takes a step forward as Taehyung takes a step back. Rage fills him at the confirmation. “What did you do, Taehyung?”

“It’s like giving you a part of me,” Taehyung says, and he sounds flustered. “It’s something I’ve tried while fighting with Jimin before. It’s like a connection, but it’s not supposed to be that strong.”

Jeongguk’s teeth are clenched so hard they feel as if they could break in his mouth. His jaw cramping. His gun shakes in his hand. “You fucked with my head after I told you not to?”

He takes another step, Taehyung does too. He shouldn’t be letting his guard down. In trusting there’s only three vampires. That this isn’t a trap. Another game. Even if it makes sense that Taehyung is the alpha. He can’t let his guard down.

But it’s surging through him. Everything. Too much. 

“No,” Taehyung insists. He could easily run. Could easily knock the gun out of Jeongguk’s hands. He does neither. “I haven’t ever done that. I told you that, Jeon.”

“Yes you did,” Jeongguk grits out, spit collecting on his lips. “You keep doing it. You did it just now. Tried to get me to bare my neck for you.”

It’s fear. Whatever Taehyung just did terrified him. It’s surging through him, mixing with pain. He’s so fucking tired, and it’s making everything inside of him snap. Worn out. Stretched thin. Breaking the fuck apart. 

“You did,” Jeongguk goes on, shoving the gun into Taehyung’s chest. He still doesn’t move out of the line of fire. “The dream. You made me think you were alive again. I know it was you, so don’t fucking lie to me!”

He’s tried his hardest to keep that in the very back of his mind all day. Every time it tries to appear, he shoves it away. It’s so vivid. The memory of it. He’s never woken up able to remember his dreams.

How similar it felt when Taehyung’s blood touched his tongue. He shouldn’t have done that. Taehyung did it again, tricked him into it.

Taehyung’s mouth falls open, eyes watering. Jeongguk pushes the gun against him to urge him to respond. Taehyung wraps his hand around the barrel. He uses his strength and keeps it pressed against his heart.

A sob shoves its way into Jeongguk’s throat as Taehyung tugs so it presses harder into him. The blaze in Taehyung’s wet eyes. 

“I am alive,” Taehyung says. Jeongguk can’t tell if the gun is shaking because of him or Taehyung. “I am alive.”

Jeongguk feels like he’s the one that lost control. Unrecognizable. The fear inside of him. It’s never been like this. Every piece of him cracking apart. He shakes his head continuously, eyes watering too because it’s fucking with his head.

The dream. The feel of Taehyung’s heartbeat. The one that doesn’t exist. What he feels every time Taehyung comes near him. 

“No.”

It comes out pained. His heart is so loud against his eardrums he barely hears it. He doesn’t get how it’s beating when it hurts this much. It shouldn’t be physically possible. Even with his normal senses, he can feel each piece that breaks off his heart. 

“Yes,” Taehyung begs, pressing into the gun so Jeongguk’s elbows bend back towards his body. As he puts less space between them but never moves the gun away from the center of his chest. “Get it through your thick ass skull, Jeon. It’s me. I am Taehyung. And I am alive.”

Jeongguk presses his lips together, eyes squeezing closed because he can’t look at him. He’s so tense it makes the sides of his neck hurt. His face hurt. He can’t stop shaking his head. Refusing it. 

“Jeongguk please,” Taehyung whispers. The tears are loud in his voice. “You’ll see it in my eyes. The moment you shoot. How life leaves them.”

It hurts . Jeongguk was almost killed, beaten nearly to death, had the bones shattered in his wrist, and none of that hurt this bad. He watched his parents die, partners die, and lived with the guilt of not being able to save them.

He watched Taehyung die, lived with that guilt. And it didn’t hurt this bad.

Or maybe it did. His body keeping that pain in storage and deciding now is the time to open it and let it out. 

“Stop fucking with my mind,” Jeongguk gasps out. 

The butt of the gun presses into Jeongguk’s chest now. Taehyung’s grip loosens and so does Jeongguk’s. The barrel slipping away from it’s target as Taehyung takes another step between them and hugs it between their chests.

“I’m not,” Taehyung sobs quietly. “I’m not. I swear.”

Something warm touches Jeongguk’s cheek. It should be his instinct to pull away. But his instincts never know what to do when it comes to Taehyung. 

“Please, open your eyes and see me. Please, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk shakes his head again. He can’t. He can’t let Taehyung play with his mind. He can’t look at him and see him. To see his Taehyung. He’s tired of the battle in his mind. Of the fight. 

“I’m not doing anything,” Taehyung pleads. “I just want you to see it’s me. I’m so fucking desperate for you to see it’s me.”

The tears slip from Jeongguk’s eyes despite how hard he squeezes them shut. Every muscle in his face and neck straining to keep them closed. 

“I just wanted to hunt together like old times,” Taehyung chokes out. “So you can see you can trust me. That I’m the same me. I’m not doing anything to you.”

The pain vibrates inside of Jeongguk. Emotional and physical. In his chest. His face. Pressure all over his body like a force is pushing into from every end. 

He loved it. Hunting with Taehyung again. It’s what is hitting him right now. How much he missed it. How much he loves Taehyung. How hard it’s becoming to see the person in front of him as anyone else but him. 

“Taehyung.”

It feels like it’s forced out of his throat as Taehyung thumbs the tears from his cheeks. He’s so close. Jeongguk can feel his breath against his face. 

“I’m right here. It’s me, Jeon. Please open your eyes.”

It’s difficult to. Jeongguk is terrified to. Even when he does, his vision is too blurred. He’s unaware of the sound that leaves his lips. Or how Taehyung holds both sides of his face as if he can sense how badly it’s starting to hurt as Jeongguk tries to fight off everything inside of him.

“It’s me,” Taehyung cries quietly, the tip of their noses touching. “Please, Jeongguk, please see it’s me.”

Taehyung’s eyes are brown. His pupils normal. The whites of his eyes there but red and bloodstricken. It hurts to see the tears dripping over his eyelids, steadily rolling down his cheeks.. 

Jeongguk drops the gun from between them, it hanging loosely by their side. He can feel the quiet sob Taehyung let’s out against his lips.

“Taehyung.”

Taehyung nods against him, fingers digging into the side of his face. It doesn’t hurt. It holds Jeongguk together. 

“I miss you so fucking much,” Jeongguk chokes out, his voice barely above a whisper. “You don’t know how much I miss you.”

The thing about adrenaline is too much of it at one time can send someone crashing. That’s how Jeongguk feels. He’s crashing. Crumbling. He can’t fight it, the thoughts anymore.  

Taehyung nods again. It’s so gentle, Jeongguk thinks he imagines the way their lips touch. “I’m right here.” His fingers thread through Jeongguk’s hair, holding him in his hands. “I’m right here.”

He realizes how badly Taehyung’s shaking then. How they’re both shaking. 

It goes against everything Jeongguk’s ever learned. The only problem is, his parents never taught him about what happens in this situation. Hell, the way they spoke about a hunter’s life never made it seem like there was any love in it. It’s too dangerous. Union only meant for reproduction.

To carry on the genes. To survive, reproduce. To strengthen the next generations to come. 

Jeongguk’s always been bad at that. His love for Namjoon getting in the way of him being able to fight beside him. His love for his parents igniting his hate for vampires, his love for Taehyung making it grow until it became a wildfire. 

“You can’t go in there thinking he has any humanity left in him, Tae,” Jeongguk says quietly as he adjusts, trying to get comfortable with having someone else in his bed. It’s been a long time since he’s shared one with anyone. 

“I know,” Taehyung murmurs as he turns, giving Jeongguk his back. “But think of how hard it is knowing the person you love out there the most is a monster.”

“I’m not a monster. I’m just Taehyung. Your same Taehyung.”

Jeongguk gasps out the pain as he nods, and Taehyung catches it. Their lips locking together. Jeongguk gripping onto Taehyung he thinks if he weren’t so strong, he could break him. 

It hurts, but Jeongguk let’s it out. In the rough way their lips move together, in the quiet cries he lays over Taehyung’s mouth. He kisses the words he struggles to speak out loud, because Jeongguk’s never been good at talking about them. Hell, he’s never really ever been good at understanding what he feels enough to do so.

Right now it’s just a mantra Taehyung , my Taehyung . He presses the ‘ I miss you ’s into Taehyung’s lips, breathes them into his mouth when they part. He presses his body into Taehyung’s because his won’t stop shaking. An earthquake inside of him, and Taehyung’s the rock he holds onto to keep him steady.

“I can’t do it,” Jeongguk whispers, chokes. He doesn’t know what he can’t do. But he can’t.

He doesn’t know how anyone can feel this kind of pain and deal with it. It holds onto him, and Jeongguk thinks he won’t ever be free from it. It’s consuming. Every piece of his heart shattered and laying in a heap in his chest.

He presses his lips back to Taehyung’s, pressing his hand against the back of his head. Gun still in his hand, his fist into Taehyung’s skull and kisses him harder. Kisses him with all the force inside of his body, surging up to strengthen his lips.  

Taehyung’s fingers dig into his jaw. Their lips are salty. Jeongguk’s cheeks feel sticky with tears. His eyes so swollen, he doesn’t think he can open them again.

And he doesn’t. He doesn’t move away, doesn’t stop the pressure in his lips until it seeps from the rest of his body. Everywhere but his chest. He doesn’t know how long it takes, but the tension goes away. He can breathe through his nose, release the tightness in his throat. 

“Don’t,” Taehyung whispers, clinging to Jeongguk’s face as he tries to pull back. He doesn’t touch their lips together, but buries his face against the side of Jeongguk’s. “Just - one second.”

It’s a sob against his cheek. The sound of it so soft as Taehyung curls his arm around the back of Jeongguk’s head and holds him. Jeongguk wraps his arms over Taehyung’s shoulder blades and holds him tight.

“Please know it’s me,” Taehyung whispers, and Jeongguk can feel the tear that transfers from Taehyung’s face to his own. 

Jeongguk nods, chin tucking over Taehyung’s shoulder. “I’m trying.”

It takes a few seconds before Taehyung seems okay enough to pull away. He does with one more brush of their lips, thumbs rubbing beneath Jeongguk’s eyes. His voice is raspy again, but this time, Jeongguk doesn’t like the sound of it.

Taehyung’s eyes are glossy and swollen, his cheek shining. There’s a tug and twitch in his lips that looks like he’s trying to smile but his eyes are too pained. There are still veins on his face, but they’re fading away. “We have to clean up.”

Jeongguk nods, but he doesn’t let go of Taehyung. He feels that numbness creeping into him, but he doesn’t think any number of endorphins can numb the pain in his chest. “Fire?”

It’s awkward as Taehyung takes off to bring the bodies outside. Jeongguk’s content enough to let him, though he wishes it took longer so he can have more than a quick second to press his fist into his chest and let himself get rid of the sob that seems to be stuck in there. 

It takes some time to create a pit and get enough wood to cover the bodies, but Jeongguk lets the mechanical work take over. Tries not to think as he works beside Taehyung. 

It doesn’t work. 

The heat covers Jeongguk’s front, blazing bright in the dark. The flames grow and the stench isn’t a pleasant one. He’s smelled it a hundred times before though his eyes still water from it. 

Taehyung doesn’t say anything, but he stands beside him. So close their shoulders almost touch.

Depending how far the other islands are, the smoke could catch another clan’s attention, but Taehyung doesn’t seem worried. His face is blank completely when Jeongguk turns to look at the way the flames reflect off his face. 

“We should go before the smoke gets too big.”

Taehyung turns to him, surprise in his eyes as he arches a brow and nods. Jeongguk can’t imagine he too was lost in his thoughts, but it looks it. “Come on, Jeon.” 

The boat ride back to Taehyung’s island is quiet. It seems to take hours, and Jeongguk almost accepts Taehyung’s offer to carry him back to the mansion. 

They walk it in silence.

When they get back, Jeongguk swears he’s never been so tired in his life. From heartache, from exertion. He trucks his feet up to his hallway, Taehyung behind him. He doesn’t even want to shower, just wants to lay in his bed. 

“Thanks for coming with me,” Taehyung says, stopping at his door first. “And Jeongguk?”

Jeongguk turns before he can reach his door. “Hm?”

“I really didn’t mean to do anything,” Taehyung says, sinking his body into the door like he’s trying to disappear through it. “A lot of this is new for me still. I - I didn’t mean to connect us. I tried to stop it as soon as I realized it was happening.”

Jeongguk pads over to him, his eyes heavy from crying and being awake. He leans his side into the door frame, facing Taehyung. “Is it true that it’s harder for you around me?”

Taehyung pushes his lips into a pout as he exhales, staring down at his toes before he nods. “Not quite hard, but different. It’s like I’m relearning things I already knew how to do.”

Accepting that with a nod, Jeongguk means to move away again but Taehyung’s grabbing for his thumb again to keep him still. 

“I can see into dreams,” Taehyung starts, eyes focused on their hands. “When I visited the bunker to get my things, I saw your nightmares. Of me.”

Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat as he leans back into the door frame. It is easier to watch how their hands look together, though the rings are the wrong fingers. 

“The other night, I simply wanted to make sure those nightmares didn’t bother you when you were already upset,” Taehyung whispers, the tip of his finger coming dangerously close to Jeongguk’s ring. “It wasn’t meant to manipulate you. Maybe I shouldn’t have given myself a pulse, but I thought it would bring you comfort. I am sorry if it came off as anything else other than that.” 

Jeongguk swallows the ball in his throat. That sob is still stuck in his chest, and he knows it’ll come out later. He wonders if he can use the shower to make it so Taehyung can’t hear.

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk starts, lifting his eyes to Taehyung’s face now but Taehyung doesn’t look up. “I’m really struggling with this.” 

“I know, and I don’t mean to make it harder on you,” Taehyung says softly. “I’m torn between not showing you these things about me and not wanting to hide them so you can see that even with these differences, I’m still me. Even when I was human things were different with you. They were new for me.”

He looks up then, a soft smile on his lips as he lets go of Jeongguk’s thumb and crosses his arms over his chest. 

“What do you mean?” Jeongguk asks. He doesn’t think he can take any more emotion burying itself inside his chest tonight, but it forces itself into the already cramped space. 

“You never felt it?” Taehyung asks, genuinely curious sounding. “How we seemed to be connected? We hunted together half as long as you and Namjoon, but it just felt - I don’t know. Like we were two parts of the same brain.”

Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat again, swells up in his chest despite there being no room. It puts pressure back up into his already sore throat. “I did.” 

“The reason I was a higher kill count than you is because my goal was to make sure you got out of every raid alive. No vampire stood a chance away from me achieving it,” Taehyung goes on, a hint of teasing in his tone but he looks too serious for it to be taken that way.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes anyway, trying to mask how much tightly Taehyung’s words hug his heart. “I believe it was me that had the higher kill count.”

“Now you do,” Taehyung says, tilting his head back as he closes his eyes. “I’ve killed more people - human or vampire - as a hunter than as this.”

Jeongguk bites hard into his cheek, careful not to draw blood. “I get it, Tae. I - I see you. It’s just hard to fight off the thoughts that I’ve had my whole life.”

Taehyung’s eyes get so wide, the inside of his eyebrows tipping upwards. It makes Jeongguk take a step forward, and once again he feels he has no control over his body as Taehyung reaches up to touch his cheek and Jeongguk leans into it.

“Can you try for me, please?” Taehyung whispers. “Even if you end up leaving here. Just see, I’m okay like this. But I’m not okay with you wanting me dead because of it.”

Jeongguk shakes his head before he turns it, lips brushing over Taehyung’s palm because he can’t look him in the face.

It goes against everything he’s known. Twenty four years of hating vampires, of knowing they’re monsters. But he can’t keep them from clouding the truth that Taehyung is still his same Taehyung.

“I don’t want you dead,” Jeongguk whispers as he presses his palm to the back of Taehyung’s hand and kisses him where he had sunk his teeth into the thick flesh earlier. “You were right. I’d rather see the life in your eyes than watch it leave them. I’ll never be able to do that.”

Taehyung slides his palm away from Jeongguk’s mouth, pushing the tips into the hair above his ear and coaxing him into facing him again. 

And he does, for a moment before he leans in and brushes his lips to Taehyung’s. Once more, he says, thinks, just because he wants to. Just a quick peck because the urge is there.

But Jeongguk steps up into Taehyung’s space, presses him back into the wooden door. He slips the rings from his fingers when their lips mold together, and quickly deposits them into his pocket so he can cup beneath Taehyung’s jaw. 

The emotion comes out of him again. He’s never like this, but he blames it on the day, month he’s had. The fact that he too physically can’t handle even talking about Taehyung dying again. 

“I’m trying. I’m just terrified,” Jeongguk whispers against Taehyung’s mouth before he licks over Taehyung’s bottom lip.

There’s a rumble of a groan from Taehyung as he rubs his hands up Jeongguk’s back just to draw circles back down his spine. He parts his lips, and Jeongguk can feel the way they quirk up when their tongues brush. “I am too. Not to scare you.”

Jeongguk presses one last kiss to Taehyung’s lips before he pulls back. “It’s not - these things that scare me. It’s more that you can do them. And I should hate that. Hate you. Yet each day, I realize I don’t. And I do feel trapped here because in my head, I’m here in a nest and that’s life or death.”

Taehyung nods as he touches his lips gently. “Changing something you’ve believed your whole life is hard.”

With a short laugh, Jeongguk nods and moves back a little farther. He hasn’t conversed with his mind enough to tell it he’s come up with a decision, but his mouth seems to have decided anyway. He just needs to stop it before he accidentally gets Taehyung’s hopes up that suddenly everything is okay between them.

Jeongguk shuffles his feet over the ground as he turns, unsure as to what to say to that. “Goodnight, Taehyung.”

Taehyung blinks, his lips tugging back down. “Join me for training in the morning. We have more nests to clean out, hm?”

Jeongguk grins as he pulls out his rings to put them back on. He’s nervous about that, of Taehyung accidentally doing what he did earlier again. But he wants it, to fight beside Taehyung again.

“Kim and Jeon, back at it again.”

Chapter Text

The lights in Jeongguk’s bedroom are easier on the eyes than the ones in the bunker. Jeongguk can’t help but wonder if this was purposeful from the thousands of times Taehyung and he felt blinded after they came back from a raid. 

There were a few times Taehyung would even tear up and complain with dramatic flair after an exciting fight because they were still hopped up on adrenaline and it easily wiped the stress lines from Namjoon’s face. Jeongguk thinks of them with a small smile on his face as he pulls on his boots.

Sleep still clings to him, but he stretches as he dresses and tries to hold in his yawns in case Taehyung can hear those. It feels like a routine he’s done for years, just the layout of the room he gets ready in is different. Not quite familiar enough yet for Jeongguk to pad around sleepily with his eyes closed though.

Not that his eyes listen. Staying heavy and barely open as he walks out of his closet, tucking in the soft cotton shirt into his waistband.

“Morning stud.”

A yell leaves Jeongguk’s lips at the sudden voice by his ear, and it would be embarrassing if Jeongguk wasn’t particularly grumpy in the morning. 

“Fuck you,” Jeongguk gasps, heart racing in his chest as he elbows where Taehyung is now beside him. “Your powers are annoying.”

There’s a grin on Taehyung’s lips as he indicates the bedroom door with his shoulder. He looks much more alert than Jeongguk feels. “I walked in here at a human pace. You’re just half out of it.”

Jeongguk doesn’t believe him, but he doesn’t question it when Taehyung holds up a cup of coffee in front of his face next. 

They haven’t talked much since the night of the raid, not about them at least. And thankfully, Jeongguk thinks, not about the incident between them. He doesn’t know if Taehyung is pretending like it hadn’t happened, but Jeongguk’s trying not to think of it. 

When it’s that late part of the night and it’s too quiet, the memory takes the pain and images from that moment and warps them together. Forces Jeongguk to think of the face Taehyung would have made if he pulled the trigger, to feel a phantom ache in his chest that is only touching on how badly it would have hurt if he did.

It’s like something inside of him is taunting him for ever thinking Taehyung’s death would be better than this. Punishing him, forcing him to see that nothing could ever be worse than that. 

“Just give me a few minutes,” Jeongguk murmurs, tone bordering on a moan as he sips at the hot coffee. “And I’ll be ready to train.”

Taehyung sits on the edge of his bed, holding his own coffee. It takes those few minutes for Jeongguk to realize he isn’t dressed to train today. He’s in all black, a turtleneck beneath a peacoat that falls past his knees. His hair is perfectly combed, and for the first time since Jeongguk got here, Taehyung’s ears are lined with earrings.

“I’m actually leaving in about an hour,” Taehyung tells him. “A few clans are coming together, and I have to be there as a representation of ours - mine.”

Jeongguk leans back against his desk. He finally has internet, and he’s been itching to access Namjoon’s database, but he isn’t sure if Namjoon will be able to track him here or not. “What is it about?”

“Rumors,” Taehyung states without further explanation. “Jin and Yoongi are coming with me, and I was hoping you could do me a favor.”

He stands then and parks himself in front of Jeongguk. They may not talk about the night of the raid, but they’ve seemed to break a few physical boundaries. Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to come closer to him, Jeongguk doesn’t mind it when he does. The tension between them is different, more like before than how it’s been over the last month. 

“Depends what it is,” Jeongguk says nonchalantly as he brings his cup back to his lips because every since that night, Taehyung looks at his mouth just as much as his neck. 

“I am asking that Jimin be alive and well when I return.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “It’s dumb of you to leave him here with only Hoseok. I know Hoseok can handle himself, he’s made that very clear, but he isn’t a fighter.”

Taehyung nods, blinking a few times as he rests the coffee on the desk and practically moves himself between Jeongguk’s legs. “I don’t fully trust the clan that’s hosting us. Jimin’s stronger than Yoongi and Jimin, but he’s too much of a distraction for me.”

It’s something Jeongguk understands. Jimin’s always been to Taehyung what Namjoon is to him. “If you don’t trust them, you shouldn’t go.”

“Concerned for me?” Taehyung murmurs, a hint of amusement in his eyes.

“No,” Jeongguk grunts. “If you die, I’m stuck in this hell hole.”

Taehyung laughs, the sound of it deep like it’s pulled from the lowest part of his stomach. “If I die, Hoseok and Jimin are the least likely out of my clan not to eat you. I’ll tell them to escort you to Namjoon if that is to happen.”

It doesn’t sit well with Jeongguk, and he grabs for Taehyung’s peacoat when he turns as if he might move away. “If they turn against you, can you three handle them?”

Taehyung touches his chest as if he’s offended. “I could handle them on my own. Jin and Yoongi are strong and fast though, don’t worry. They’re just not fighters unless they have to be.”

Jeongguk searches over his face. “I know you don’t eat as often as you should. So you might want to before you leave.”

This time, the soft smile on Taehyung’s lips is directed to Jeongguk. He hides it though, looking down between them. “I’m going to Matthew now.” 

He wants to ask Taehyung about it. Why he lied about how often he feeds and why he doesn’t do it often enough, but he doesn’t. It’s still uncomfortable to associate the traits of a vampire with Taehyung, and Jeongguk’s working through it slowly. 

“Okay,” Jeongguk says, nodding. He punches Taehyung lightly in the chest. “Go get ‘em sucker.”

Taehyung just stares at him, and it’s slow the way his upper lip curls and his eyebrows come together a moment before he snorts. “Did you just make a joke?”

Jeongguk shrugs, lips pursing. “I do that sometimes.”

The judgemental look doesn’t leave Taehyung’s face. “Don’t quit your day job, stud.”

“You thought it was funny,” Jeongguk grunts in offense. He doesn’t let go of Taehyung’s peacoat, and it isn’t fully a conscious thought to pull him closer. “Do come back though, okay?”

He isn’t fully there yet, but he has accepted it. That anything is better than Taehyung dying. That even if it’s like this, Jeongguk needs him to stay alive.

Taehyung’s features soften as he reaches up and runs the bulky ring on his middle finger across Jeongguk’s jaw. 

They haven’t talked about it, and maybe they should one day. Maybe Jeongguk should stop shoving all of his important thoughts into the deepest depths of his brain to never touch them again, but he’s not going to anytime soon.

Because he doesn’t want to think about it too much when Taehyung presses that knuckle beneath his chin, tilting it to press a kiss to his lips like it’s a promise that he will come back. 

“If you’re not letting me talk to Taehyung because you think I’m going to say something embarrassing, then yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

Jeongguk wants to smile at that, but there’s something twisting around in his gut that prevents him from doing so. He stares out the caged window, leaning into it to feel the warmth of the sun against his skin. 

“Can I ask you something hyung?” 

He knows it’s in his voice. Even thousands of miles away from each other, with a completely neutral tone, Namjoon would be able to tell something was up.

“Yeah, is everything okay? If it’s about relationships, I can’t help you there but feel free to talk about it anyway.”

Groaning, Jeongguk twists around to prop himself in the windowsill. He could go outside, it’s probably more private there, but Matthew still gives him the creeps, and he takes full advantage of the fact that Yoongi favors him enough to go into the greenhouse. 

“Why would you say that?” Jeongguk complains as Namjoon laughs quietly.

“Because it’s been a long time since either one of us had something good. Something to focus on other than hunting,” he replies lightly. “So I was just prompting you to talk about it.”

That twisting in Jeongguk’s stomach doesn’t relent, and he throws his head back against the window as he closes his eyes. It’s guilt, he knows it is. He feels like shit not telling Namjoon about this, even if he also knows it’s the right thing to do. “It’s not like that.” 

“Well get on with it and make it like that ,” Namjoon grunts, and it’s so unlike him that Jeongguk finally smiles. They never talk about these things simply because as Namjoon said, their focus is always on the hunt. “That’s a direct order.”

All day, Jeongguk’s been restless. Hearing Namjoon calms him some, but the conversation just reminds Jeongguk of why he’s restless.

It’s been over a day since Taehyung left with Jin and Yoongi, and there’s been no word. Hoseok doesn’t seem concerned, but it doesn’t sit well with Jeongguk. He finally understands why Namjoon wanted to be called immediately after a raid was finished, and he feels bad for all the times he never took it seriously. 

“How are you so sure Taehyung would even reciprocate my feelings, hyung?” Jeongguk asks, eyeing the door as if he can see it through it and see if Hoseok’s snooping or lingering about. 

“Oh because he told me. Back at the bunker.”

Jeongguk jumps to his feet, his heart practically vibrating in his chest from how suddenly it picks up. “What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Namjoon’s quiet for too long, just humming like he does when he’s working on something. Impatience sets in, and Jeongguk’s lips open to ask a second time, but Namjoon cuts him off.

“He asked me not to. He was worried it would be a distraction, get in the way of how well you two work together. I agreed.”

“But after he died?” Jeongguk pinches the bridge of his nose. “I mean after we thought he died?”

Namjoon’s quiet as Jeongguk paces around the bedroom, which feels as if it’s getting smaller and smaller. Closing in on him like he did those days he was locked inside. He can easily leave, but it’s technically the only place that’s his own. 

The only other people here are Jimin and Hoseok, and Jimin won’t let Jeongguk in a room alone with Hoseok for more than a few minutes. He’d rather not see Jimin, be around him, can’t fight off the want to fight whenever their eyes meet. 

Even though he’s leaning towards accepting what Taehyung is, he can’t get past the hate and anger he’s carried with him towards Jimin for so many years. But he does want to keep his word that Jimin will be here when Taehyung returns, so he’s been avoiding him. 

“I didn’t see the point,” Namjoon admits with a sigh. “I thought it would upset you more.” 

It probably would have. Jeongguk sighs too as he kicks his slipper at the door. 

“I have to go soon, Guk. What was your question?” 

Jeongguk rests his forehead against the door. He’s torturing himself more than his thoughts today apparently. “What would you do if you found out Soyoung hadn’t died? But turned instead?”

It’s loud the way Namjoon sucks in his exhale. Jeongguk can hear it through the phone. When he speaks, there’s confusion and hesitation in his tone, and Jeongguk cusses quietly to himself. 

“I saw her die, Guk, you know that,” Namjoon murmurs. His tone is neutral, but Jeongguk knows even if it’s been ten years, Namjoon still feels the pain of his sister’s death like it just happened. 

“I know. I know. But what if ?”

“What is this about?”

Typical Namjoon, Jeongguk thinks. He slumps to the ground, pressing his head back against the door. “After being with Jimin the last two years, Taehyung’s mindset on vampires has changed.”

Jeongguk cringes at himself, though he’s not technically lying. It just feels like he is because that’s not why he’s asking. Taehyung’s opinions have changed, but not only because of Jimin. 

“Like, he’d rather have him alive as is than dead.”

For having to get off the phone soon, Namjoon stays quiet for what feels like hours. Jeongguk checks the sky to see if the sun’s gone down, that’s how long it feels. 

“I thought you two were in hiding from him?”

Jeongguk pulls the phone away from his ear to cuss quietly. This is why he never lies. He has to be careful because he doesn’t know what Taehyung said when he sent the message to Namjoon that he was alive. He assumed whatever it was, it would say something to make them stop hunting Jimin. “From his clan. We had to kill most of them to escape.” 

Namjoon clicks his tongue. “I don’t know, Guk. I know I wouldn’t be able to pull the trigger, but say if you did, I don’t know how I would feel.”

The difference between Namjoon and himself is Namjoon always had a battle with his conscious when it comes to hunting. But Jeongguk’s always been stubborn on his stance that they’re monsters, that he’s cut Namjoon off whenever he’s tried to explain why. 

Now, he wishes he hadn’t.

“Do you think it’s true? That they don’t completely lose themselves?”

Namjoon breathes out then. “Wow, I - I mean. I think vampires have a moral code they stick to, and it probably goes against the one they’ve had when they were human. For example, from what Taehyung has told us about Jimin when he was a human, he probably wasn’t too keen on violence and manipulation. But now he has to be okay with it.”

Manipulation. Taehyung had looked genuine when he swore he wasn’t doing anything to him, that it’s never on purpose, but Jeongguk can’t shake the uncomfortable feeling that his mind can be easily messed with. Even if it’s not on purpose. 

It makes him feel weak, vulnerable. He has never felt this way before. Even toe to toe with an ancient vampire, Jeongguk felt strong. Confident. 

“What is this really about, Guk?”

Jeongguk freezes, mouth parting over nothing. “Ah, just that.”

“I know you,” Namjoon laughs, but it doesn’t do well in hiding the worry in his tone. “If this were really about Jimin, you would have told Tae what you always do. You hate Jimin too much to ever see him in another light. You’re the one questioning it, and not because of Jimin. So tell me.”

That’s true, Jeongguk thinks mildly. He groans quietly to himself, legs stretching restlessly over the carpet. “Okay, okay. I just. Don’t worry, alright? Taehyung knows this - dhampir, and we’ve been staying with him.”

Jeongguk makes a face at himself, scrunching it up at the ceiling. God, he’s going to have to write these lies down to remember them all. 

“Ah,” Namjoon replies, and he doesn’t sound half as worried as Jeongguk would be if their situations were in reverse. Despite being in a nest and being fine, if he found Namjoon was in one right now, he’d find a way to swim all the way to South Korea if he had to. “And he seems alright?”

Jeongguk nods to himself. “Yeah. Only feeds when a human wants him to. You know, for pleasure. And he likes to paint and bake. He gets really offended when I tell him not to come around me.” 

He really hopes Hoseok isn’t listening now, though he’s sure he owes Hoseok a thousand and one different compliments and nice comments. He gets really excited whenever Jeongguk so much as suggests he likes having him around. 

“His parents were killed, and he was imprisoned by humans,” Jeongguk goes on, the words falling from his mouth. It still hurts his heart to think about Hoseok as a child, though he has no idea how old Hoseok was when that happened. It’s easy to forget the dhampir is nearing fifty. “Wanted to be a doctor. He’d be a really good one.”

Jeongguk feels the urge to tell Namjoon, to confess that Jeongguk threatened to kill him despite how terrified he looked but shame makes him incapable. 

“You see him more human than vampire,” Namjoon says softly. “I’ve always wondered myself how much of a difference there really is in the two but in this line of work, you can’t think that way. Though, for Soyoung, I’d be willing to find out. It’d hurt to see if she was a monster, but to have her in my life again? Yeah, I’d take the chance.” 

Jeongguk closes his eyes again and it’s a flood of images. Good ones. Taehyung smiling. Fighting beside him. Talking shit. Both from before and now. “Thanks hyung.”

Namjoon hums. “If you wish to one day tell me what this is really about, know I’m here, alright? Trust your gut, it’s never led you wrong. But I should go now. We have a huge hunt coming up. Call me in a few days.”

When the phone hangs up, Jeongguk slides it across the carpet. Worry fills him that Namjoon already knows what this is about. The perks of being a genius. 

And his gut lurches because the first time, Jeongguk’s gut instinct goes against everything he knows. 

He’s accepted his feelings on the topic, but he kind of wishes his mind would stop with the back and forth. He feels like he’s on the edge waiting for Taehyung to do something that shows there’s a monster inside of him.

Or maybe, Jeongguk just needs it so he doesn’t feel like the monster between the two of them. 

When the onslaught of thoughts come, Jeongguk forces himself to leave his room. Even if he has to see Jimin, it’s better than his mind. Hopefully it’s just Hoseok that he’ll stumble across.

It’s neither, Jeongguk sees as he bounces down the steps towards the foyer. Matthew sits in the living room, a book in his hands.

Most times, Matthew doesn’t look like he’s been drugged. He’s always smiling though, expression content. Jeongguk thinks it just adds to his creepy effect.

“Hey, Jeongguk,” Matthew calls. “Finally. This house is freaky when it’s empty.”

Jeongguk looks around the living room, finding no one else. “Where is Hoseok and Jimin?”

“Jimin’s sleeping, and Hoseok’s watering Yoongi’s plants, I think.”

For a moment, Jeongguk considers the risks of entering Yoongi’s room. It wouldn’t be surprising if he’d be able to smell that he was in there or something. “Alright.” 

“Can I ask you something?”

Repressing a groan, Jeongguk halts his movements towards the kitchen and faces Matthew again. He watches as he sits up, his shirt hanging off his shoulders loosely and revealing that it’s not just his neck that the clan munches on. “Sure.”

Matthew pats the couch cushion, but Jeongguk only glances at it and hopes his expression shows that he isn’t sitting next to him. It must because Matthew rolls his eyes.

“I’m trying to figure out why you’re here. Jimin-ah said you’re not a feeder, and alpha says you don’t belong to anyone.”

 You’re mine rings loudly in Jeongguk’s head. It slips out of one of those buried deep thoughts in his mind, tucked away with everything else Taehyung has ever said about mates and him and how they all fit together. “He’s right. I don’t belong to anyone.”

Matthew doesn’t look convinced. “Then what are you doing here?”

“None of your business,” Jeongguk says, turning on his heel then to show he’s done with the conversation. 

Matthew doesn’t get the hint, following after him. “No need to be an asshole. I’ve got to know everyone here but you, man.”

Jeongguk continues to ignore him as he enters the empty kitchen and goes straight to the fridge. He really isn’t in the mood to eat, but if his stomach grumbles later on, Hoseok will burst into his room probably and make him eat until it explodes.

“And I don’t truly believe you’re not a feeder, though you were quite judgemental about it when we first met.”

Unbothered, Matthew leans on the counter next to him despite Jeongguk pulling out a knife that works just fine on a human. 

“I don’t care if you believe it or not.”

Jeongguk yanks to the side when Matthew’s hand pulls at the collar of his shirt. He doesn’t seem to care that Jeongguk turns a glare on him, nostrils flaring and all. 

“Alpha barely drank yesterday. Said he was full. I figured he fed from you,” Matthew goes on, and the easy going smile on his lips softens into something serious. “He’s technically like, my alpha now. So I’m just worried.”

That twisting returns to Jeongguk’s stomach, and he relaxes his defensive stance to turn back to the food he’s pulled out of the fridge. “No, no one feeds from me. He probably had a bag.”

Matthew hums and reaches over to steal a piece of onion when Jeongguk slices the knife through it. “It’s really good, man.”

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose. “Never been much of a kinky guy, my man. Not really into getting poisoned to bust a nut. Call me crazy, right?”

Matthew laughs loudly, and he even hits Jeongguk’s arm. Jeongguk tries his best not to get annoyed with him because he doesn’t know how long they’re going to be stuck together. “No, it’s not always that. It depends on the mood of both parties. Like with Hoseok, it isn’t arousing. It just feels peaceful, calming. With Jin, it takes away pain.”

It hasn’t been that long, but Jeongguk can feel that someone else enters the kitchen. He doesn’t turn to see who because he’s already toeing at the line between annoyed and aggravated. “And Taehyung?”

The snicker from someone else calms Jeongguk, confirms that someone is indeed in the room and it isn’t Jimin.

“He’s fucking hot,” Matthew murmurs, and Jeongguk clenches the knife a little harder. “But he asked me to wait until he’s finished to get off. S’why I thought you were his. Why he doesn’t eat much from me, because my attraction to him makes me aroused when he feeds.”

Jeongguk hands Matthew another piece of onion. He has the urge to shove the whole half of an onion in his mouth just to get him to be quiet. “I am not. Please leave me alone now, man. If I wanted company, I would have invited you in here.”

Matthew must be spending too much time with Hoseok because he takes the onion while mocking him under his breath. It makes Hoseok laugh again, and Matthew is barely gone for a second before Hoseok is taking his place.

“You know I can feel your emotions right now,” Hoseok starts, mischief in his eyes that doesn’t disappear even when Jeongguk points the knife in his face. 

“Say another word, and I will find a way to bond with Yoongi so we can put bleach in your clothes together.”

Offense fills Hoseok’s expression as he ducks back from the knife in his face. “I’d actually be okay with that if you and hyung started to get along.”

Jeongguk’s lips quirk up at that, and he focuses on Hoseok instead of the static inside of him. “Why do you call him hyung? How old is he?”

If he’s remembering correctly, Jimin died at eighteen and should be around Taehyung’s same age. If Hoseok truly is in his forties, he should be the oldest one here besides Jin. 

Hoseok shrugs a few times, making a face like he’s thinking hard. “I don’t know. Like four? Five thousand years old.”

Jeongguk chokes on air. It alarms Hoseok, who quickly beats a fist between his shoulder blades though it’s unneeded. Jeongguk has to shake him off when he tries to get behind him to start the Heimlich. 

“I’m just kidding,” Hoseok exclaims, panic in his tone until he sees that Jeongguk can actually breathe. “He’s like twenty six, I think. But I stopped aging at eighteen, so in our cover, everyone’s my hyung except for Jimin. I spend the most time with Yoongi and Jin, so it kind of just became a habit.”

Jeongguk grins as he clears his throat. “Should start calling me hyung then.”

Hoseok gives him a look that says he’d rather eat grass than do that. “Okay. I’ll call you hyung if I can tell alpha you got all weird when Matthew called him hot -”

A laugh bursts from Hoseok’s lips as Jeongguk pulls up the knife again and it easily goes flying from his hands. “Jeongguk is fine.”

Hoseok only laughs harder, clapping the back of Jeongguk’s neck and rubbing. “I’m just kidding. As much as I’d love to tell alpha everything I overheard, I won’t.”

Butterflies erupt in Jeongguk’s stomach. He doesn’t care if Taehyung feeds from creepy Matthew or anyone, he really doesn’t. He has no interest in Taehyung sinking his fangs into him, despite how his body responds when Taehyung’s mouth nears his throat. 

“If you overheard, you wanna tell me why Taehyung lied about being full?” Jeongguk asks, turning to Hoseok then so he can see his questioning look. “The blood bags haven’t been touched since Matthew got here.”

It’s always in Hoseok’s eyes. He’s extremely expressive, and Jeongguk thinks he wouldn’t be able to hide his emotions if he tried. The worry and concern that fills Hoseok’s eyes only adds to the restless feeling Jeongguk’s been experiencing all day.

“I don’t know, to be honest,” Hoseok says with a sigh. “He’s even pickier about feeding than I am.”

Jeongguk only nods and doesn’t ask again, because that’s what he does. He takes worrisome thoughts and compartmentalizes them. “Make yourself useful, would you? Get me the salt?” 

Three days go by without word from Taehyung or the others. Three days, and Jeongguk’s knuckles have burst open from how badly he’s punched into the punching bag trying to rid his restlessness. To focus on anything but the fact that Taehyung lied about feeding, and he’s with a clan he doesn’t trust, and Jeongguk feels incredibly guilty for not taking Namjoon’s need to know they’re okay right away seriously enough. 

“Okay, macho man,” Hoseok grunts playfully, a small grin on his lips as he cleans the back of Jeongguk’s hand. The silver he wears lay on a counter to the side, but Hoseok still holds his hand tentatively. “Wanna explain why you’re hurting yourself?” 

“M’not,” Jeongguk grumbles. “I just like training.”

He’s already been in here for a few minutes, and he’s expecting Jimin to burst in on them at any second. He thinks about why Taehyung asked him to not harm Jimin but never said a word about Hoseok. If Taehyung trusts or knows that Jeongguk truly doesn’t want to hurt him.

Hoseok snorts, glancing up from his hand but Jeongguk diverts his eyes. “You do remember I can feel emotions, right? The usual anger coming off you has been tainted since the others left.”

He rubs particularly hard at one open wound, and Jeongguk’s hand retracts back towards his body. Hoseok just looks amused, and Jeongguk probably deserves it. 

“I’m not angry.”

“You’re always angry,” Hoseok tells him, letting go of his hand and wiggling his fingers to ask for the other one. “There’s only been a few times you haven’t been. A few with Taehyung, and when you attacked me. You were terrified then, that’s why I froze up. It came off you so loudly, I felt it myself. Your emotions are just too strong for a human. Easily could have taken you though.”

Jeongguk grins as he rests his head back against the chair. He flinches when Hoseok brings the cotton pad towards his hand but he’s more careful this time. “Yeah, whatever. M’fine.”

Hoseok mocks him quietly. “They’re fine, don’t worry.”

“Wasn’t worried.”

Another mocking. Hoseok needs new comeback material. “I can literally feel that -”

“Hoseok,” Jeongguk interrupts roughly, pulling his hand back again to get Hoseok’s attention. “Please stop using that on me. It’s an invasion of privacy.”

Hoseok makes a face, upper lip curling up as he grabs Jeongguk’s hand back. “I wish I could. I meant it when I said your emotions are actually a lot stronger than most humans. You sure you aren’t half vampire too?”

Jeongguk glares at him, and it only makes Hoseok laugh. “Not funny.”

“I’m half kidding, half serious,” Hoseok says, still laughing. “We can do a blood test to find out.”

“You’re not drinking my blood, Hoseok.”

Disgust fills Hoseok’s face. “I don’t want to, thanks. There’s this code between vampires, anyway. You can’t feed from someone’s mate. And when are you going to start calling me hyung, brat?”

Jeongguk’s stomach flips. He wishes people would stop calling him that because it really does make it sound like he’s a belonging. “Maybe ahjussi.”

Hoseok drops his hand, giving him a blank stare before he stands up. “Now who’s not funny?”

Jeongguk chuckles. “I don’t know. That’s a pretty good one.”

Hoseok opens his lips to say something, but he does that thing again where his attention is suddenly pulled somewhere else. Head cocking to the side, lips tugging down in a frown. 

Even Jeongguk can hear it, though it’s distant. Some banging, yelling. 

In a flash, Hoseok’s gone. Jeongguk feels the air move when he disappears and turns to where the door is now opened.

Alarm fills him, and he follows after him. He has no idea where Hoseok ran off to, but his first guess is the foyer. Maybe it’s instinct because his feet are taking him there before he can fully register the direction to move them.

He barely makes it a few steps when he’s knocked aside. He isn’t expecting it, doesn’t see what caused it, completely caught off guard as one moment he’s up right and the next he’s on the ground.

“What the fuck happened?”

Jeongguk scrambles up to his feet, heart picking up in pace as he follows the voice to where he had just been. Back in Hoseok’s makeshift room. 

If he’s radiated strong feelings before, he’s sure it’s nothing compared to now. The fear that strikes through him as he takes in the body now laying in the hospital bed that Jeongguk had been strapped to all those weeks ago. 

He hadn’t even been scared then. Aggravated, full of hate. But not terrified like this. 

“The nest was ambushed.” That’s Yoongi, and Jeongguk doesn’t need to feel emotions to know it’s the same for him. The fear is loud in his voice. “He has at least seven bullets in him. I don’t know. He’s been completely unresponsive, Seok. I haven’t seen anything like it.”

A hand pushes into Jeongguk’s chest when he tries to barge in, and Jeongguk nearly rips Jimin’s arm off when he tries to get in his way. “Let me in.”

“Not now,” Jimin growls, eyes glowing. Jeongguk doesn’t miss the way his cheeks shine wetly. The light in Hoseok’s room is brighter, catches on them. 

Jimin’s stronger than most vampires, but his arm moves easily when Jeongguk grabs it and yanks it off of him to shove past him. He doesn’t let Jeongguk get very far before he’s shoving him to the side, towards a closet.

“If you insist being in here, put these on,” Jimin whispers under his breath, thrusting what feels like scrubs into Jeongguk’s hands. He watches for a moment as Jimin quickly pulls on his own and grabs more to bring to Yoongi and Hoseok. 

It feels robotic the way Jeongguk quickly covers himself. He can’t take his eyes off of the top of the head on the bed, which is matted with dried blood. He barely has the mask over his face before he’s rushing to the bed. 

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk breathes out. His eyes are closed, and it’s like before. When he passed out. How dead he looks. Pale and unmoving. Blood splattered everywhere. Soaking his clothes to his body, smeared thickly around his face. 

“It’s fine, he’s fine,” Hoseok rushes out, scissors in hand as he pulls the brim of Taehyung shirt up and cuts it. He rips the rest off with his hands. “It’s fine. He’s just fine.” 

The sight of Taehyung’s body makes Jeongguk’s stomach lurch up into his throat. It isn’t even recognizable as a torso. 

“God, that’s a lot more than six or seven!” Hoseok yells at Yoongi, and Jeongguk can’t look. He squeezes his eyes shut.

He should go.

He can’t physically make himself move. 

“They had semi automatics,” Yoongi wheezes. “I think something was in them, hyung. He dropped when he was only hit with one.”

They’re a whirlwind, moving around Taehyung. Hoseok elbows Jeongguk out of the way, but Jeongguk stays rooted in his spot.

There’s anger in Hoseok’s eyes when he turns to him. “Get the hell out of here or help.”

Jeongguk swallows thickly, hands coming up in front of himself. He doesn’t know what to do to help. He can’t think about anything other than Taehyung’s hurt.

The air around him is so tense that it feels as if Jeongguk can’t even breathe it in.

“Go into the kitchen and get every blood bag in the vegetable drawer, alright?” Hoseok instructs, waving towards the door. “It’s not fresh, but it’ll have to do.”

“What about Matthew?” Yoongi asks as he yanks open drawer after drawer to start pulling out tools. 

“He can’t,” Jimin wheezes out, tone panicked. “It’s too much of a risk. We pushed it earlier.”

Yoongi glares at him, eyes rolling.  “Really, Jimin?”

Jimin doesn’t back down, anger radiating off of him now. “You’re worse than me, baby. Don’t even go there.”

“Jeongguk, go,” Hoseok snaps, shoving him again.

It’s a miracle that Jeongguk can get his feet to work. He runs down to the first floor, skipping down two, three steps at a time. 

It’s not the same kind of fight, but his fight or flight takes over just the same. Mind on one thing, to get the blood bags. He doesn’t think, as if it were an instinct of his to save an injured vampire.

It isn’t, but it is instinct to make sure both he and Taehyung survive.

“That’s all there is?” Yoongi asks as Jeongguk stumbles in with his arms full. He asks it accusingly, eyes glowing amber. It’s supposed to be associated with light, purity, Jeongguk thinks this is what started the light at the end of the tunnel saying because somehow Yoongi makes gold look like death..

“No, I decided to see what the big deal was and had a snack for myself on the way up here,” Jeongguk snaps, dumping them into Yoongi’s arms before he stalks off to Taehyung’s bed. 

He can’t look. Not at Taehyung’s face. Not as Hoseok works on taking the bullets out of his torso, hands steady but panicked words leaving his lips. There are no machines hooked up to Taehyung, and he knows vampires have a higher pain tolerance, but he can’t imagine this doesn’t hurt. 

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk whispers, cupping beneath his chin. “Hey. If you die a second time, I’m going to be pissed.”

“Don’t say that,” Jimin snaps, and it isn’t angry. It’s pained.

Jeongguk ignores him as he takes off his gloves to rub his bare hand beneath Taehyung’s chin. It’s too hard on him. Years of seeing Taehyung like this in my mind. Not being able to feel a heartbeat or his breath. 

Suddenly, Jeongguk’s thankful Taehyung has a habit of breathing when he doesn’t need to though right now, Jeongguk wants to beg him just to inhale. 

“Talked to hyung the other day,” Jeongguk tells him, rubbing over his chin to warm his skin. He’s never noticed if vampires have different temperatures, but Taehyung feels cold. “Told me what you told him.”

Nothing. Jeongguk glances at Hoseok, at the bloody bullet he holds between two long looking tweezers before he dumps it into a dish. As Yoongi inserts a long needle into the inside of his arm. 

When he had been in this bed, he had hurt so badly he was sure he was going to die. Wanted to when he woke up. It hurts just as bad thinking Taehyung’s going through that now. 

“Not even I’ve told him,” Jeongguk whispers, rubbing a knuckle down Taehyung’s cheek. “Even though he knows. He knows everything, doesn’t he?”

Jeongguk wipes at the blood clotted around Taehyung’s mouth. It’s dried down his chin and neck. Around his lips, and Jeongguk feels a desperate urge to get it off of him. Rubbing his thumb hard until, but his efforts are futile.

“Taehyung.” Jeongguk doesn’t know why he says it. Or care if the others can hear the pain in his voice. He softens his touch when he worries the insistent rubbing is adding to Taehyung’s pain.

There’s a cloth hitting his hand a second later, Jeongguk looks up to see Jimin there, holding a bottle of hydrogen peroxide with his other hand.

Jeongguk grabs it, careful not to spill it on Taehyung because of how shaky his hands are. Once the cloth is damp enough, he quickly starts to wipe around Taehyung’s mouth.

It’s like two years of nightmares are happening right now, and Jeongguk can’t stop the panic that seizes up inside of him. 

“I don’t know hunters by name,” Yoongi is saying from somewhere else in the room. “We took out half of them. It wasn’t a set up. Some entire clans were lost.” 

Slowly, Taehyung’s skin is revealed. Translucent in color, blue sneaking up the curve of his jawline and into his cheeks. The needle Yoongi inserted into Taehyung’s arm is pumping the blood now hanging above him into his body hopefully.

Jeongguk’s heart spikes when he sees Taehyung’s eyelids move behind his eyes. 

“I’m pretty sure one of them was named Taeyong? Taeyang?”

Alarm fills Jeongguk as he stands straight. He doesn’t think his heart can take anymore pumps of adrenaline today. “Taeyong?” 

“Yeah, a friend?” Yoongi bites, medical equipment in his gloved hands that he passes to Hoseok when he asks for them. Jin’s on the other side of Taehyung now, and Jeongguk can’t stomach the sight to see what he’s doing. 

“Was there. Black hair?” Jeongguk can’t speak as he waves at his head. “Tall, broad. Glasses. Blue glasses.”

“If there was, I hope he’s dead,” Yoongi snarls. 

Jeongguk shoves into Yoongi, fists punching into his chest. “Tell me if there was a hunter with blue glasses.”

“Get him out!” Hoseok hollers, his voice bouncing off the walls. “I can’t focus with how fucking upset he is right now.”

“I don’t know.” Yoongi spits each word out slowly. “I was a little preoccupied trying to get Taehyung out of there.”

Taking another step, Jeongguk’s ready to let out all of his fear and panic into Yoongi’s chest, but Jin is pushing against his to keep him back. “Namjoon wasn’t there. I swear it on Taehyung’s life. Now go back to Taehyung’s side. Your voice comforts him. Calm the hell down so Hoseok can focus, yeah?”

This is why hunters can’t afford to allow emotions to get involved. Not ones like these, where Jeongguk feels his life crashing around him at just the idea of Namjoon or Taehyung being hurt or owrse.

Jeongguk glares at Jin. “How do you know?”

“I know what he looks like,” Jin says, a promise in his tone as he guides Jeongguk back. “Calm down.”

Jeongguk’s fear doesn’t calm any, but he breathes in through his nose and holds it back to bend back over Taehyung’s head. He strokes a knuckle over one of the veins snaking into his cheeks. 

Namjoon said they were planning for a big hunt. Taehyung said there were multiple clans coming together. Worry wraps around Jeongguk’s heart, and he’s torn between comforting Taehyung and finding his phone to see if Namjoon’s okay. 

He opens his lips to speak though he has no idea what to possibly say. He doesn’t get a word out when Taehyung’s arm flies up and grabs his hand.

“Tae -”

A weak moan leaves Taehyung’s lips, his eyes snapping open. The veins snake higher up his face, nearly touching beneath his eyes. It’s terrifying how much he looks like a monster. Eyes solid black and a distant look in them. Like Jeongguk’s staring into the deepest parts of the ocean.

Jeongguk doesn’t get a chance to be relieved or alarmed by the look on Taehyung’s face before Taehyung’s yanking on his arm so hard it makes Jeongguk lurch forward.

“Get him off,” Hoseok yells as pain sears through Jeongguk’s wrist. “Jimin-ah, get him off!”

It lasts a second, and then it’s warmth. Lava trailing through Jeongguk’s veins. Thoughts slipping from Jeongguk’s mind for the first time in years. Nothing there. The pain releasing in his chest. Years of pain being pulled out, and a soft gasp leaves Jeongguk’s lips as his legs give out. 

The fear, panic, it all disappears. 

“Let him.”

It sounds distant, Jimin’s voice. Jeongguk’s barely aware of the fact that there’s hands on him, keeping him up. 

Something bursts inside of Jeongguk’s chest, and it makes his eyes prickle with tears. It reminds him of the thrill of a hunt, the excitement. When Namjoon and he snuck out of their commune when they were kids so Namjoon could show him this arcade he found. 

It’s what Jeongguk thinks every thought of Taehyung would feel like if they weren’t associated with pain.

He’s never been high before, but he thinks it’s like this. The fuzzy feeling that takes over his head. Being numb in a way that feels good rather than like he has a thousand pounds on his chest.

Jeongguk groans slightly, and he’s slightly aware of the hair that touches his mouth. Of the fingers that dig into the back of his hand.

Of the teeth that’s breaking open the veins in his wrist. 

I’m okay, I’m okay. I’m so sorry. I can’t stop it.

It’s an echo. It’s a thought. In his mind, but it doesn’t feel like it’s his own. It’s louder than the rest though, Hoseok and the other’s words so far away that Jeongguk can’t make sense of them.

It’s slow, the way the feeling slips away. As the thoughts come back into his head, the pain back into his chest. Becoming alert to his surroundings, to the fact that he’s being held up by the back of his thighs. To his lips in Taehyung’s hairline.

The grip on his arm bruising. 

“ Jeongguk .”

Brain still cloudy, Jeongguk cups beneath Taehyung’s mouth and kisses his name out of it. Softly, just a gentle kiss. 

But enough for Jeongguk to taste the copper on his lips. 

He doesn’t register it at first. As Taehyung’s bloody hand comes to touch the back of his head, to pet through his hair. As he gasps in pain into Jeongguk’s mouth. 

As he bites into Jeongguk’s bottom lip, and that same feeling takes over again. 

I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m losing you forever.

Jeongguk hums, wishing he could tell the voice in his head there’s nothing to be sorry for. He can’t move his mouth though, his lip trapped between Taehyung’s teeth. 

Everything feels right.

Everything but the murmurings in his head. The apologies, the words laced with a panic and heartbreak that Jeongguk can’t physically feel. 

“Alright, enough. Back off for a second, Jeon.”

Something swells inside of Jeongguk’s chest when a hand pushes in between their mouths. Something protective that fights through the calm and warmth inside of him.

It’s vicious, wanting to shove the person off of him to keep his body covering Taehyung’s. To keep close to him, comfort him, help him. 

“Don’t touch him,” Jeongguk grunts, pushing the hand from Taehyung’s face but the owner is stronger.

“And let him drain you? No thanks,” Jimin responds, pushing Jeongguk back up against the wall. 

It trickles back into his mind, and then it seems to downpour on him. The realization of what Jimin means. The ache in his wrist, his bottom lip. 

Jimin nods, “Yeah, thought so.”

Jeongguk’s heart pulses so hard he thinks it might jump right from his chest. Or make his neck break open from how badly it throbs. It’s dizzying going from a warm state to suddenly filling with a tornado of emotions. 

I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please, please, Jeongguk. 

Jeongguk’s hand flies up, and Jimin braces himself to be hit but Jeongguk merely fists it into the hair above his temple. 

After the last month and a half, Jeongguk surely thinks he’s going crazy. He just let a vampire sink his fangs into him, and he liked the feeling of it. 

And it doesn’t even feel like a war to decide if he would do it again. Right now, he would. There’s little blood, and Taehyung needs it to survive, to not be in pain, to heal. 

“Breathe,” Jimin instructs, getting into his face and blocking his view of the hospital bed. “Breathe. You just helped Taehyung. He’s going to feel like a super shit bag about this, so you better make it so only Hoseok can tell if you’re freaked out alright?”

Jeongguk presses his hands into Jimin’s chest. “Get the fuck off of me.”

“Get off of him,” Hoseok calls. “You’re making him panic. And I have one bullet left. I need you to look at this anyway, Jimin-ah.”

And really, the last person Jeongguk wants to know that he is panicking is Jimin. But Jimin lets him go, and doesn’t stop him from running back to Taehyung. 

His eyes are closed again, but there’s more color to his face this time. 

Everything he’s known his entire life doesn’t make sense in this moment. He doesn’t know any more if it’s his body reacting to Taehyung in a way he can’t control or if it’s perfectly under his control. Some responses seem like second nature, instinct, but it’s only Taehyung that Jeongguk would respond like this to.

Taehyung, Taehyung. Stay safe, alive. Survive. 

It’s the only thing on his mind. Taehyung. He slips a hand over his throat, and he knows realistically he won’t find a pulse. Even healthy, alive Taehyung doesn’t have one.

“Careful,” Hoseok warns under his breath, glancing at him as he takes a scalpel from Yoongi. “He’s not conscious.”

Jeongguk ignores him and brings his wrist up to Taehyung’s mouth.

It feels like instinct.

A fight for survival.

Jeongguk doesn’t make the conscious decision to do so, he just does. 

There’s a cacophony of protests, but Jeongguk doesn’t hear anything other than the heart thrumming in his ears as Taehyung’s teeth sink into his skin again.

It’s numbing. Warmth. It’s something else, but Jeongguk can’t put a name to it. But it reminds him of when they hunt together, how they feel like two bodies connected to one brain.

Jeongguk leans over Taehyung and pushes his fingers through his hair as much as he can through the clots of dried blood and tangles in it. 

There’s no thinking needed. Like Taehyung said, this is all just a game of survival. 

I’m sorry, I’m sorry. 

Jeongguk shakes his head, humming quietly. 

Please don’t hate me.

It’s then Jeongguk realizes the thoughts aren’t his own. 

Taehyung’s speaking to him.

“Okay, I’m really confused. Won’t lie. Mr. I hate vampires but here’s my veins. Enjoy your meal?”

Jeongguk doesn’t respond. He doesn’t say anything at all as he stares out the hallway window as the sky starts to darken. There’s no sign that Taehyung ever sunk his teeth into his flesh, his wrist completely smooth. 

If he tried hard enough, he could probably convince himself he imagined it.

“Whatever it is, thanks,” Hoseok goes on as he passes Jeongguk his drink. “Drink it. Since you won’t let me give you more blood or anything at all.”

Jeongguk glances at the chocolate shake that now sits on the table in front of him. “Taehyung needs it.”

Hoseok sits across from him. He looks tired. Drained. “He’s going to be out for a few days. I’m going into town tomorrow with Jin to stock up on some more bags. Hopefully find another donor so Taehyung can have Matthew.”

Finally, Jeongguk lets himself look at Hoseok fully without thinking of how much blood he had been covered in after he was finished stitching Taehyung up. He hates how images get stuck to his mind. Even the way it smelled in the hospital room. So strongly of blood, and Jeongguk hadn’t even noticed until he looked up and saw Hoseok. 

“I don’t think you should do that.”

Hoseok grins, wagging a brow as he pushes the milkshake closer to him. “Worried about me there?”

Jeongguk doesn’t admit that he is because he knows Hoseok can probably feel it. “He can just feed from me.”

It’s practically audible the way Hoseok’s mouth drops open. A sound leaves the back of his throat, a mix between a scoff and a choking noise. “Excuse me?” 

He doesn’t know how to explain it, but he wants that feeling again. It wasn’t pleasurable or anything. But there’s something inside of him that wants it. This time, it can’t be manipulation. Taehyung had been unconscious.

The apologies in his mind were so very much Taehyung. Jeongguk can’t explain it, but how does one explain any of this? How vampires even exist? Have supernatural abilities that are so absurd that stories of them have been twisted into folk lore, science fiction .

It’s absolutely absurd Taehyung even survived being shot that many times. There’s one thing knowing a vampire’s strength, but seeing it is a different story. It’s not really a concept he can fully grasp, that he can separate himself from to assure himself that Taehyung can still be fine after being shot that many times. 

“Can you go check on him?” Jeongguk asks instead of answering. 

“I can sense when he wakes,” Hoseok explains, tone softer now. “Does this have to do with what happened when he bit you?”

Jeongguk jerks his head up at that. “What do you mean?”

Hoseok doesn’t answer, but he stares pointedly at the milkshake until Jeongguk takes it. He remains silent until Jeongguk takes a decent sip.

“You know, there’s this feeling I’ve only ever felt in the last minute or so before someone dies,” Hoseok starts, fingers tapping on the table. His eyes burn into Jeongguk, and he keeps sipping at the milkshake so he won’t stop. “It’s an emotion I’ve never felt anyone else have, nor myself. It’s like? How do I explain it? A sense of completion. Rightness. Peace maybe is a better word. It’s more than just the average relaxed state or being satiated. I’ve always thought it was the way of your body protecting you know? Making you feel at peace in your last moments like a final goodbye.”

Jeongguk’s stomach heavies. A rock forms in it, and he slides the milkshake back onto the table. “Are you saying I almost died?” 

Alarm fills Hoseok’s eyes, and he quickly shakes his head and hands in front of himself. “No, no. I just, that’s the feeling it reminded me of. You’re perfectly healthy, though if you’d actually let me check your vitals, I’d say that with more confidence. I couldn’t tell how much he drank.”

Jeongguk crosses his arms stubbornly, Hoseok’s words mulling over in his brain. “Yeah, I’d say that’s how it felt. Now I feel kind of out of body, so can we talk about something else?”

Sympathy or maybe pity shines in Hoseok’s eyes. “While I am here to make sure you’re okay as your friend, I’ve also been sent here to talk to you about something. Because the rest of the clan thinks there’s less of a risk of you ripping my head off.” He smiles brightly then, both thumbs rising in front of him. “Which! Look at that. Progress since it hasn’t been that long since you actually tried to do that.” 

Jeongguk glances over his shoulder at the entranceway and spots the body shaped shadow across the ground.

“Okay, so only kind of,” Hoseok laughs sheepishly. “Less progress more because you’re weak right now, and everyone is outside the door in case you do try and attack me. But to be fair, I don’t think you will. If that helps.”

Jeongguk isn’t in the mood, though like always he appreciates how Hoseok tries to bring positivity and his cheerful nature into everything. “Just get on with it, Hoseok.” 

Another awkward laugh from Hoseok, and there’s a stressed look on his face as he runs his fingers through his hair. “Well, we need you to call Namjoon again.”

When Jeongguk had been forced out of the hospital room, the first thing he did was call Namjoon. He struggled to keep himself calm as not to alarm Namjoon, made up some lie about how Taehyung and he had a close call and just needed to check on him.

If Namjoon believed him, Jeongguk has no idea. The only thing that matters is he answered the phone. 

“Taehyung had an abnormal reaction to the bullets,” Hoseok explains, and it’s very clinical. Jeongguk thinks his bedside manner is better than Hoseok thinks it is. “As you know, silver weakens vampires, burns them. In the heart, it will kill him, but none of them were even in his chest.”

Jeongguk bites hard on his tongue, forcing the thoughts of how Taehyung’s stomach looked out of his mind. 

“Yoongi said he went down after being shot down once,” Hoseok explains, blinking, and there’s something in his eyes that makes dread fill Jeongguk’s stomach. “I’m testing his blood and the bullets, but I need you to ask Namjoon if Taeyong’s crew is using anything in their bullets.”

It’s nothing Jeongguk’s ever heard of. He’s only ever used silver bullets or blades. If they’re hard to come by, he’s used wooden bullets but it doesn’t kill a vampire. It just causes them extreme pain from the splintering in their heart.

“I would like to know sooner than later,” Hoseok explains. “Just in case.”

Jeongguk runs his tongue over every inch of his mouth. It feels like a dumb question with an answer that Jeongguk won’t want to hear, but for some reason he makes himself ask it. “In case of what?”

Hoseok taps his fingers for a moment, his voice soft. “In case it’s something that will continue to kill him before we can stop it.”

“Why do you say that?” Jeongguk asks under his breath. He can’t find his voice to speak it louder. 

“Go see him.”

For a moment, Jeongguk feels childish in the way he wants to shake his head and say he doesn’t want to. But he stands and leaves without another word. 

Everyone is standing outside of the kitchen, and they don’t pretend like they weren’t eavesdropping. Jeongguk ignores them and heads straight to Hoseok’s hallway.

The room still smells like blood, Jeongguk thinks as he walks in and eyes apprehensively over Taehyung. He’s still not breathing. The veins in his face are still moving.

He’s still cold to the touch, and his skin feels a bit damp. Surprise fills Jeongguk when Taehyung’s eyes flutter open.

There’s the distant look in them as he tilts his head and looks up at Jeongguk.

“Every night I dream of you,” Taehyung whispers, eyes closing again. “How beautiful you are. Even when you stab me in the chest.”

Jeongguk hesitates before he reaches down and cups Taehyung’s cheek. “Taehyung.”

Taehyung’s lips rub together as he moans in pain. “Wouldn’t care if you killed me. Would be happy that the last thing I see is your face.”

Pain erupts inside of Jeongguk’s chest and he sits on the edge of the bed. He leans in closer, resting an elbow beside Taehyung’s head. “M’not going to do that, Taehyung.” 

“I like it when you say my name.”

Taehyung’s lips move some more, but Jeongguk can’t hear a word he says.

“What is it?” Jeongguk whispers, the tip of his finger tracing over one of the veins curved over his jaw. It feels bumpy beneath his skin. “Can’t hear you. Human ears, remember?”

It’s meant to be a joke, but he isn’t sure how aware Taehyung is of what he’s saying. If he’s even fully aware that Jeongguk’s a few inches from his face because he never seems to fully look at him. 

Taehyung’s lips pull back, his teeth bared. He pushes his head back into the bed, eyes squeezing closed as something rough rumbles around in his throat. Not quite a growl, but strained. His entire body tenses beneath Jeongguk, and concern fills him.

Before he can ask what’s wrong, Taehyung is flying up from the bed and grabbing his jaw. 

It makes Jeongguk’s heart spike in his chest. But Taehyung’s hands are so gentle as they slide beneath the back of his head to his ears. It’s the look on his face that alarms him.

For once, truly, he looks just like the monsters Jeongguk’s killed. 

“Jeongguk,” Taehyung groans quietly, the tips of their noses touching. “My Jeongguk.”

A quiet gasp leaves Jeongguk’s lips as Taehyung leans in. He noses at the jugular vein down his neck, his grip pressing into the base of Jeongguk’s skull to guide his head to the side.

Jeongguk doesn’t fight against it, a groan building in his throat at the sensation. How hot Taehyung’s mouth is, the wet of his tongue when it presses to the base of Jeongguk’s neck and slowly licks up. 

It doesn’t hurt at all this time when Taehyung’s teeth press in. Jeongguk barely registers it. How tightly Taehyung holds him in his hands, how close their bodies move together. 

Synapses bursting in Jeongguk’s brain. Warmth filling his veins. A spark of arousal shooting down his spine. A rough gasp ripping from his throat as he tries to bend his head back into Taehyung’s hand to give him more room. If it’s even possible.

It ends quickly. Abruptly. Hands pushing Jeongguk so hard he’s flung off the side of the bed. Pain erupting across his body as he hits a cabinet. But he can barely focus on it or figure out what happened as he looks to Taehyung.

He’s finally breathing, but Jeongguk wishes he wasn’t as each exhale comes out short and rapid paced. His hands rubbing at his chest and tugging at his clothes like it’s burning him. 

How he lets out a quiet sob as he frantically rubs his fists over the blood dripping off his lips.

“Get out, get out,” Taehyung begs, panicked. “Get out!”

Jeongguk gets to his feet, ignoring the ache in his body as he moves to return to Taehyung’s side. He doesn’t get a chance before Jin is in front of him, blocking him.

“If you trust him, that’s fine, great actually. Good progress,” Jin says, his hands firm on Jeongguk’s forearms as he guides him towards the door. “But he’s going to seriously regret this when whatever is going on gets over with, alright? So don’t push him.”

A growl rips through the room, and Jin is pushed off of him then. He too lands on the ground as Taehyung nails him to it.

“ Don’t touch him. ”

It’s chaos in seconds as the others fly into the room. Even with four against one, they struggle to get Taehyung’s hands away from Jin’s chest. His shirt ripping from Taehyung’s nails.

When they finally pull him back, Taehyung goes right for him again.

Jeongguk isn’t fast enough to get between them again, but Yoongi and Jimin both hold Taehyung back enough that Jeongguk can squeeze between the small space between Taehyung and Jin.

“Taehyung!” Jeongguk breathes out, touching Taehyung’s face. He doesn’t seem to register him at first.

He looks completely animalistic.

“I’m right here. I’m okay,” Jeongguk assures, thumbing beneath Taehyung’s eyes.

“You’re afraid,” Taehyung wheezes out, spit flicking out past his lips as his eyes turn to Jin. 

“I’m not afraid of shit,” Jeongguk grits out, though he definitely is. He’s fucking terrified right now, and it’s not for his own safety. He has a feeling Taehyung doesn’t mean himself either, with the way he keeps looking at Jin like he’s the one to make Jeongguk afraid. “My heart’s racing because I want you to sit down with me.”

Taehyung lurches back then, his strength giving into Jimin and Yoongi’s. Hoseok lets out a pained sound as he quickly follows after them.

And Jeongguk can’t watch when they strap Taehyung’s arms down the way he had done his, but this time with a different kind of material.

Chapter Text

Jeongguk’s nervous. For the first time, it isn’t just the kind of nerves that don’t really affect his overall performance. His hands are shaking, and he feels as if he’s going to physically be unable to do this. 

He has to though, he has no choice. Survival, right? He gets why Mother Nature thought anxiety would help one to do this, to lessen the risks one takes, but he also thinks Mother Nature needs to get with the times. Or at least his body does. 

“Hyung, hey. Sorry for calling you twice in a day,” Jeongguk starts, and he knows it’s in his voice. But he’s shaken to the core, and he can’t wait to calm down before calling Namjoon. He agrees with Hoseok, he doesn’t want to wait for the tests to come back and it be too late to help Taehyung. 

“Hey excuse me, I have to take this call,” Namjoon says to someone else, and Jeongguk feels himself grow more anxious as he listens to Namjoon move to somewhere private. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is Taehyung okay?”

Jeongguk blinks his eyes a few times. There’s rage swarming around inside himself, and it’s the biased kind. Though he knows, even if this were two months ago, Jeongguk wouldn’t care to use a weapon or anything that just tortures vampires. He likes to assure they’re dead, not play around with them.

“I was talking to this hunter about some new thing they’re adding to the silver. Really packs a punch, I guess. But he was being vague. I was wondering if you knew anything about it? Tae and I’ve been tracking this ancient for some time now and honestly could use any help we can get.”

Namjoon is quiet as Jeongguk rambles on about how confident he is with himself but doesn’t want to take risks. How right Namjoon is that he shouldn’t be taking risks now because he’s fucking nervous and can’t shut his mouth up.

Where’s the evolutionary benefit in that , huh?

“What ancient?” Namjoon finally interrupts with.

Jeongguk bites hard on his bottom lip, glancing towards where Yoongi stands in the doorway. Eavesdropping, making sure Jeongguk does as is asked and doesn’t keep any of it from them.

The precaution is understandable but unneeded. 

“We know him as Jin? Tracking him into Japan.”

Yoongi glares at him as he mimes his hand cutting across his throat. Jeongguk just makes a face at him. He knows what he’s doing, but he can’t continue to lie too much. He has to stick close to the truth enough that he won’t get his stories crossed later on. 

“Seokjin?” Namjoon asks then, and Yoongi looks like he’s going to rip the phone from Jeongguk’s hand. He even moves further into the room to do so, but Jeongguk turns his body away from him. 

“Ah, no. I think it’s Sungjin, actually?” Jeongguk says, rolling his eyes hard at himself. He clears his throat. 

“Never heard of him, huh,” Namjoon says, and Jeongguk can’t tell if he believes him or not. He gives a questioning look to Yoongi, though he guesses there could be another Seokjin vampire out there.

But he remembers that Jin was also confident in promising Jeongguk that Namjoon wasn’t at the raid because he knows what he looks like.

He just can’t focus on it now. It’s a question for later, far down his list of priorities which currently are Taehyung for the top ten on the list.

“The only thing I can think of is this new trend going around,” Namjoon starts. Jeongguk quietly walks to the desk where there’s a notebook, but Yoongi shakes his head and points to his temple. “Crushed up nightshade. It’s poisonous to both humans and vampires. Hunters cover the bullets in them or fill the bullets with them.”

Yoongi’s gone in a flash. One minute standing in Jeongguk’s doorway, and the next the door is swinging open around nothing. 

Jeongguk tries to wrack his mind for what the hell nightshade is. He thinks he’s heard of it, but he can’t access the part of his brain that knows why he recognizes the word. 

“Oh. Does it kill them?” Jeongguk asks as he follows after Yoongi as fast as he can without sounding like he’s hurrying. Even though he’s pretty sure his breathing has been labored since he first dialed Namjoon’s number. “Or just put them out?”

“I’m not a big fan of it,” Namjoon admits quietly. “It kind of tortures them but doesn’t kill them. I don’t know. I just think it’s cruel. High doses can temporarily incapacitate them enough to take ‘em out regularly, but that’s a waste of silver.”

Relief fills Jeongguk. He presses a hand to his chest to try and persuade his heart in calming down. “So don’t waste my time on it?”

Namjoon hums in affirmation. “The possible use for it is if you are determined to clean out an entire nest and need to go back. Shoot down the ancient even if you’re unable to kill it. Go back when it’s weakened.”

Jeongguk carefully climbs down the stairs and wishes for once that he wasn’t on the opposite side of Hoseok’s hallway. “Well, that sounds pointless. Just giving them time to find a cure, right?”

“No,” Namjoon says, and Jeongguk can hear him chewing on the tip of his pen like he does when he’s thinking. “There isn’t a cure that I know of.”

The relief leaves him. Even if Taehyung won’t die from this, seeing the way he struggles is too much. “Oh. How long does it last then? I’ll look into it. See if it’s worth it.

“Taeyong said about a week, I think?”

Fuck, Jeongguk thinks to himself. “Alright. Thanks hyung.”

“Hey, Guk?” Namjoon calls before he can hang up. “We had a bad hit tonight. Lost about fifteen men.”

Good , Jeongguk thinks for a moment before he realizes he isn’t on the other side here. It’s just biased because of Taehyung, the anger inside of him. This is a huge loss to their people, and Jeongguk sighs at the mess in his head because of it. 

Especially since the less men around Namjoon, the more he’ll hunt and the less he’ll be protected while doing so.

“Twenty-three vampires dead,” Namjoon goes on. “Which is a win, really. But it feels only like a loss.”

Jeongguk watches as Jin and Yoongi rush down the stairs, an odd feeling hitting him. How they’d just be considered a number, two of the eight that made a raid a win over a loss. If Namjoon would say it was a win if that one of them was Taehyung.

It should be something Jeongguk feels victorious about. That’s a large number of vampires to take out in one raid. Rare. But Jeongguk thinks he’d kill every fucking hunter that’s responsible for the holes in Taehyung’s stomach right now. 

No, he knows it. It isn’t a big revelation, but it is one. How Jeongguk would shoot those who are supposed to be on his side if they even raised a gun at Taehyung. 

“Shit man,” Jeongguk cusses quietly. “Taeyong?”

“Injured, but fine,” Namjoon says, and he sounds tired. “Youngho too.”

Jeongguk really could give a shit less about Youngho. “Be safe, hyung, alright? I love you.”

There’s a moment of silence before Namjoon huffs out a laugh. It isn’t teasing, but gentle. It makes Jeongguk miss home so much, lightens his chest, that for a moment he wracks his mind trying to come up with something that would make Namjoon laugh again. “Wow, I guess my gut feeling is right. Something really is up.”

It’s just an echo, quiet, but Jeongguk can hear Taehyung’s snarling before he even gets to Hoseok’s hallway. He stops before he gets close enough that Namjoon will be able to hear it.

“You said it’s my second chance to tell Taehyung how I feel,” Jeongguk says, words stuttering hesitantly from his mouth. “I don’t want to wait for a second chance with you because I may not get one. And not in this ‘we’re saying it but not saying it outright’ shit. I just wanted you to know. I love you.”

Silence again, and Jeongguk pictures it. The look on Namjoon’s face, the way he nods his head along with his thoughts. But Namjoon’s voice is new to him for the first time. Soft and vulnerable in a way Jeongguk’s never heard from him before.

“Well, I love you too, Guk.” 

The anxiety is gone. It’s just fear now, a dull ache inside of him that Namjoon’s words aren’t true. Not that he’s lying, but maybe he’s missed something. That this nightshade is lethal, that it lasts forever not just a week. He wants to put the pressure on Namjoon, but he’s sure losing that many men is a heavy weight on his chest right now. His concern for Jeongguk only adding to it.

So as hard as it is, Jeongguk says his goodbyes and sits in the hallway with the phone in his hands until he can get his strength to go into Taehyung’s room again. 

He must take too long because after a while, Jimin walks up to him and shifts his body to indicate the rest of the hallway between Jeongguk and Taehyung.

“Think you’re the only one that can calm him down,” Jimin starts. “He seems to be hallucinating. I can’t tell.”

Jeongguk nods, swallowing down the bad taste in his mouth as he forces himself to move his feet.

“And Jeongguk?” Jimin calls, his tone hesitant. “Taehyung’s going to be fine. Yoongi and Jin are going back into town to get a treatment for nightshade.”

Still, relief doesn’t fill him. He doesn’t think it will until he sees that Taehyung is fine with his own two eyes. Jimin doesn’t try to say anything again when Jeongguk doesn’t respond, and Jeongguk only gives him a chance to for a few seconds before he goes to Taehyung.

In his room, Hoseok is pale. He’s sweating lightly and the fear is loud in his eyes as he dabs at Taehyung’s forehead. His arm jerking when Taehyung tries to bite him every time his hand comes near.

“Alpha, this is really no way to treat your doctor. It’s Hoseokie, eh? I nee these hands, you know. I’m not done with our mural yet.” 

Taehyung’s veins stand out in his forearms from how hard he tugs against the restraints wrapped around them, head pushing forward like he’s going to bite Hoseok instead. He can’t be listening at all. 

Jeongguk grabs the cloth from Hoseok’s hand and sits himself on the edge of Taehyung’s bed again. Far enough away that Taehyung’s mouth can’t get anywhere near him.

“Taehyung. Be nice to Hoseok.”

It reminds Jeongguk of the way Hoseok acts when he hears something, the cocking of Taehyung’s head at the sound of his voice. It’s slow though when his eyes focus on Jeongguk in front of him, and even slower when he relaxes back against the bed. 

He’s unrecognizable. Jeongguk is struggling to convince himself that this is Taehyung in front of him. Before, it had been difficult because Taehyung’s face hasn’t changed but now it has. 

“We still have to get Hoseok,” Taehyung whispers, eyes closing when Jeongguk presses the cloth to his neck. “Jin says he doesn’t like sleeping alone.”

Jeongguk side eyes Hoseok, who turns his back at that before Jeongguk can read his face. “Get Hoseok from where?”

Taehyung makes an aggravated noise, his eyes closing. He shakes his head a few times as he strains his arm again, but he gives up after a second. “A lab in Gwangju. Humans. We can take them. I promised Jin we will get him. I’ll do anything to get him - to get him out of there.”

Shushing him softly, Jeongguk brings the cloth up to his cheeks. He glances at Hoseok again, but he refuses to turn around. “Hey, we already got him, yeah? You saved him already.”

For the first time, Taehyung breathes again without it being because he’s panicking. It’s just an exhale, one loaded with relief, but it’s something. “Good, good. Tell him not to be afraid anymore. No one here is going to hurt him. I promised.”

Jeongguk wants to tell Hoseok to say something, but he’s afraid it will cause the reaction he walked in on Taehyung having. Hoseok shakes his head too, silent as he fixes the blood bag hanging behind Taehyung’s head. It’s half empty. 

“He knows it,” Jeongguk assures it. “How are you? In any pain?”

For a moment, Taehyung doesn’t do anything but lay there with his eyes closed. When he nods, it’s small, but it’s enough to make Jeongguk feel like he’s been stabbed in the heart. 

“Where?” Jeongguk murmurs as Hoseok frowns in confusion. 

If vampire blood can take away a human’s pain, he wonders if it takes away a vampire’s. If they have something that works as a pain reliever at all. Jeongguk can’t quite imagine them popping Tylenol’s.

“Everywhere,” Taehyung sighs. He swallows thickly, fingers gripping at the armrests he’s strapped to. “My chest.”

Confusion fills Hoseok’s face, and he shakes his head again but he refuses to open his lips and explain what he means so Jeongguk can understand.

“Can I see?” Jeongguk asks, dropping his hand to the blanket Taehyung has tucked beneath his armpits. 

Taehyung hums, and Jeongguk slowly pulls the blanket down to where the wrapping starts beneath the start of his ribs. He’s untouched. No open wounds, bruises. Nothing. 

There’s a tattoo on his chest that Jeongguk doesn’t think had ever been there before. He wants to focus on it, but he touches over Taehyung instead to see if he reacts to any pain. 

“Hurts so bad, Guk.”

Breathing in slowly, Jeongguk forces his heart not to race as he slides his palm over the planes of Taehyung’s bare chest. He hadn’t been shot there, but what if nightshade gets into his blood? Runs up to his heart? It must, unless the treatment Jin and Yoongi are getting for him is supposed to stop that. 

“What kind of pain?” Jeongguk asks.

Taehyung’s arms strain against the armrest again before he lets out an impatient noise. “Please just undo me.” 

Hoseok shakes his head again, but Jeongguk ignores him as he undoes the straps of one arm. Hoseok even runs over to him, trying to stop his hands, but Jeongguk pushes him off. 

As soon as Taehyung’s arm is free, it’s cupping the side of Jeongguk’s neck. He sits up, eyes searching over every inch of Jeongguk’s face as he moves his hand up to his cheek next. 

“You’re afraid,” Taehyung whispers, his words pained. “Of me. Because I’m a monster.”

Right now, Taehyung sure seems like one. Even if he’s softer when it’s Jeongguk in front of him. But over the last month and a half, he hasn’t seen anything that really makes Taehyung seem like a monster.

The things with Jeongguk’s mind scared him, but he believes Taehyung didn’t mean to do them. And none of them hurt him. Whatever the hell Taehyung did during the raid was actually helpful, Jeongguk just wasn’t prepared for it.

“No. But if you think about it, they need to feed. That’s why they go anywhere near humans.” 

Jeongguk tries his best to glare at Taehyung while he drinks. He wipes at his mouth, aggravation filling him. “What? We don’t have to kill to eat, Taehyung. You know that. That’s the difference between us and them.”

Jeongguk’s realizing there isn’t much difference between vampires and humans. Even if Taehyung seems monstrous right now, there’s plenty of humans who react just as violently when they’ve been poisoned. When they hallucinate. 

“Not afraid of shit,” Jeongguk assures him, lips quirking up and Taehyung immediately smooths his thumb over it. “How many times I gotta tell you that before you get it through that stubborn head of yours?”

Taehyung’s mouth mirrors the action, lips tugging up slightly. His eyes are focused on Jeongguk’s mouth, and Jeongguk’s heart picks up for a different reason than fear. “I am. Afraid. It’s okay to admit these things, Jeon. I can feel that you are.”

Jeongguk snorts, grabbing Taehyung’s hand to hold it into his own. “I’ll clarify. I’m not afraid of you.” 

He plays with Taehyung’s fingers, rubbing down them and over each knuckle. Tracing the creases before moving down to his palm and tracing the lines there. Taehyung just watches him, eyes still so black.

“Can’t hurt me right?” Jeongguk says, trying to choke but there’s a tightness in his throat that’s choking him. Even in this state, Taehyung hasn’t hurt him. Like it’s an instinct, as Hoseok had said. How it felt Taehyung was laying in that bed and Jeongguk just knew he had to let Taehyung feed from him. A natural reaction to just protect theirs. “‘M your mate.”

Behind Taehyung, Hoseok makes a face that is much too cheerful for the atmosphere. He even squeezes his fist as if in victory, and it lightens Jeongguk’s chest up even more. 

Taehyung however, just stares at him. Jeongguk’s still not sure how much he can see of him, how aware of anything he is. His heart spikes a little when Taehyung pulls his hand away, but he only moves to cup the back of Jeongguk’s neck to pull him in.

It’s gentle, hesitant. A question against his mouth. Taehyung’s lips, so chapped and dry, slowly rubbing over his. Jeongguk hums his approval, and the sound is barely leaving him before Taehyung slots their lips together. 

“Mine, mine,” Taehyung murmurs, fingers pressing into Jeongguk’s neck. He nips Jeongguk’s upper lip, moves down to suckle the bottom one. Jeongguk sighs at the feeling. 

The rough way Taehyung slips his fingers into his hair contrasts with how gently Taehyung kisses every inch of his mouth. How tenderly he calls Jeongguk’s ‘mine’ between each kiss. 

He tries to guide himself back and pull Jeongguk with him, but Jeongguk secures a hand to his shoulder and keeps him from doing so. He doesn’t want to rest his weight on Taehyung, and he also doesn’t know how aware or alert Taehyung is right now.

“Who would have known you’re possessive?” Jeongguk murmurs as he pulls back and rubs his lips together, suddenly uncomfortable. He dodges his head when Taehyung tries to kiss him again.

Taehyung groans low, more in complaint than anything. He shakes his head as he caresses his fingers over Jeongguk’s scalp. “Not like that. Just, my mate. If you choose another, that’s okay. As long as you live.”

Jeongguk glances to where Hoseok is and finds him pretending not to pay attention by the closet that had held the scrubs they wore. “Well, I guess you’re better than me. I wouldn’t be okay if you chose someone else.”

Taehyung tugs gently in Jeongguk’s hair before he kisses Jeongguk’s cheek. It’s too familiar like last time, and he must do something that catches Hoseok’s attention because he’s hurrying over. 

“I would never choose anyone other than you,” Taehyung sighs against his jaw. “And I’m going to live a very long life, Jeongguk, but you’ll always be the one.”

A growl leaves Taehyung’s lips when Hoseok yanks his hand back, and Taehyung moves to put up a fight but Jeongguk pushes his face into the arch of his neck. 

It works for a second, Taehyung’s growl shifting into something like a moan when his tongue touches his skin. But this time, he doesn’t actually sink his teeth in. He just grazes them over Jeongguk’s vein before peppering a kiss to it. 

The blood bag behind him is empty, and when Hoseok pulls the needle out of Taehyung’s arm and takes the bag from the hook it hangs on, he doesn’t replace it. 

“Can’t promise that. Another hundred years from now you may find someone more annoying than me.”

“No one’s more annoying than you,” Taehyung sighs, and it’s supposed to be joking Jeongguk thinks, but it comes out rough. “Please don’t talk about you not being here. It’s why my chest hurts.”

And with that, he leans back down against the bed and turns his head away from him. Jeongguk doesn’t know how to respond to that, and when he looks up to Hoseok for help, there’s a sad look in his eyes.

It takes an entire day for Yoongi and Jin to return back with  treatment. Jeongguk learns that nightshade is a flower with berries, both which are crushed up and causes delirium and hallucinations in vampires. For humans it’s fatal when ingested.

Taehyung fights them off when they bring the injection to the thickest vein protruding from his neck. Rips part of the restraints. He’s unrecognizable again, and it takes Jeongguk sitting on his lap and petting his cheek to get him to calm down enough for Yoongi to inject him.

He falls asleep like that. For the first time since his surgery. Jeongguk sits in the room with him despite Yoongi’s suggestions that it’s a bad idea, but he can’t find himself moving.

It’s something he can’t explain. This connection thing Taehyung mentioned before, but the voices are back in his head. The ones he knows aren’t his. Screaming, pained sobs. Apologies. 

He’s being tortured, and Jeongguk can hear all of it.

Jeongguk sits next to Taehyung and rubs over the veins in his arms, wishing he could calm him down. He looks perfectly calm, face peaceful. No labored breathing or breathing at all. There’s just a small sheen of sweat over his forehead despite how cold he is. 

It’s confirmed that Jeongguk’s somehow reading Taehyung when Jimin enters to check on him, claiming Hoseok can’t even stand to be in the mansion right now. 

“I can hear him,” Jeongguk says quietly as Jimin pries one of Taehyung’s eyes open and flashes a light into it. “In my head.” 

Jimin glances down at him. “It’s a talent of his, but he’s not exactly good at it yet because he refuses to work on it. He doesn’t like that he can get into people’s heads.”

Jeongguk sits back, keeping his hand on Taehyung’s wrist though the fact he doesn’t have a pulse still tortures him. “What do you mean?”

It’s not that Jeongguk particularly cares to talk to Jimin about this, but he also heard Jimin arguing with Yoongi outside that he’s the only one that can come in. The only other person that Taehyung will remain calm around.

“He can speak to people telepathically. Can make them see things if he tries hard enough. But he says it feels wrong so he doesn’t like to do it,” Jimin explains conversationally as he starts to prep a needle to inject Taehyung again. “He’s still a baby, really. A baby with all these powers and abilities of an alpha that he hasn’t had before. He’s going to still be learning what they are, how he can control them. It’ll be worse right now because he’s not himself. You might want to leave the room so you don’t have to hear them.”

Stubbornly, Jeongguk shakes his head and threads his fingers through Taehyung. “How is he so strong already?”

Jimin makes a considerate face, leaning back against a counter as he fills the needle. “The vampire that turned me, Yoongi’s creator as you know, was one of the oldest vampires that we know of. Extremely powerful. The three of us inherited some of that power when we were reborn, or in Yoongi’s case, born.”

When Jimin injects Taehyung a second time, he does so with words of encouragement that are so soft spoken that Jeongguk can’t hear them. He doesn’t try to either because the way Jimin pets Taehyung’s face is intimate and makes it seem like he needs to divert his eyes. 

“Taehyung inherited the most when you killed that alpha,” Jimin says quietly as he extracts the needle slowly. “It also helps that Taehyung’s a crazy good vampire hunter and has killed alpha after alpha. Technically, he has a lot more vampires in his charge than just the four of us.”

Taehyung groans quietly, head twisting towards Jeongguk. It’s in his head again, but the words are softer. Still apologetic, but it feels as if they’re being whispered into his mind.

“What’s he been saying?” Jimin asks. 

“Not telling you,” Jeongguk replies as he stands up and tries to shush Taehyung with a kiss to his forehead. He has no idea if Taehyung can hear him, or if the telepathy thing works in reverse. If Taehyung can hear his thoughts, but he squeezes his eyes closed and tries to think them as loudly as possible.

“You’re so immature,” Jimin huffs, head shaking as he pads away from the bed. “I know you’ve gotten over your whole ‘I’d rather you be dead than this’ spiel, so I’ll take that thank you for saving his life whenever you’re ready.”

Jeongguk grunts at that. He’s been struggling to get over his twenty four years of hatred towards vampires for Taehyung and Hoseok, and Jeongguk has never hated a vampire as much as he has hated Jimin. 

“Also,” Jimin continues, holding a finger up as he twists around in front of the entrance. “If you remember, I wasn’t the one that ripped his throat out. You already killed that vamp. I’m just someone you latched your hate on to. So get over it, would you? I really like you from what Taehyung has said. I want to see that Jeongguk some time soon.”

At first, Jeongguk doesn’t respond. He’s stubborn and prideful. He doesn’t admit when he’s wrong, doesn’t like to. But Jimin is sort of right. It hadn’t been him that ripped Taehyung’s throat out, but in some part of Jeongguk’s brain, he thought maybe he could have saved him if Jimin hadn’t picked him up in his arms and ran away with him.

In truth, there would have been no way for Jeongguk or any of his fellow hunters to save Taehyung. The only person who could and probably would have in that nest was Jimin.

“What’d he do when he turned? When he realized?”

Jeongguk tries to imagine how one reacts to that. How Taehyung did. If he was afraid, angry, sad. 

Jimin leans against the door, eyes heavy on Jeongguk. “He ran away.”

Jeongguk hadn’t been expecting that. He makes a face at Jimin. “What? Where’d he go?”

The laugh Jimin lets out sounds like it’s one of disbelief, emphasized by the way he shakes his head. “To make sure you were alive of course. Duh.” 

It’s four days after Taehyung starts getting treated that his normal eyes return. Jeongguk can’t help the way his heart skips over a beat at the sight of his dark brown eyes. 

Taehyung looks at him with them for a moment before he closes them again. He groans quietly like he’s in pain, but he shakes Jeongguk off when he tries to come back to the bed. 

“So fucking hungry, don’t come near me, Guk,” Taehyung pleads quietly. “Please, please.”

Jeongguk ignores him, sitting on the edge of the bed. He’s still strapped down though he hasn’t tried to fight back against the restraints in over twenty four hours. His dreams have stopped being so loud, or at least, Taehyung’s stopped accidentally making Jeongguk listen to them. 

“Are you you?” Jeongguk asks, cupping Taehyung’s cheek when he tries to hide his face. “Or are you still out of it?”

Taehyung peeks an eye open. “If you mean do I remember getting my stomach blown out, then yeah. I’m me.”

“You’ve been asking to save Hoseok for the last few days. Do you know where you are now?” 

Taehyung’s lips tug down. “I kept dreaming about what he looked like when we found him. I know that it’s been a year since then. That we saved him. That I’m in the hospital room Jin made for him. That you’ve been here since they strapped me down.”

Relief was filling Jeongguk, but the last part makes him hesitant. He closes off his throat when it feels as if his heart is going to lurch up it and out of his mouth. 

“I know I bit you without your permission,” Taehyung says, looking away from him again. “And I’m sorry.”

Jeongguk shakes his head, rubs his thumb over the swell of Taehyung’s cheek. The veins are gone too, and it’s such a nice sight to see his smooth skin again. “I understand, Taehyung. You don’t have to apologize.”

“I do,” Taehyung moans quietly, eyes watering. “I’m trying so hard to show you that we aren’t monsters by nature, and this totally fucked that up.”

“Tae -”

“And all I can think now is how loud your heart is. How good you smell. How hungry I am, and all I want to do is sink my teeth back into you,” Taehyung huffs out, eyes squeezing closed. “And I may not be a monster, but I’m very far from being anything human, Jeon.”

It hurts. The tears in Taehyung’s eyes. The nightmares he’s had for the last week that he lied about. They weren’t about Hoseok. Or not all of them were. The things he’s said to Jeongguk. Even out of it, his words remained the same. It hurts that Jeongguk hated him, he dreams of Jeongguk killing him, he can’t talk about Jeongguk not being alive. He’s dreamt of Jeongguk dying as often as Jeongguk has dreamt about Taehyung’s death. 

It makes Jeongguk know how genuine Taehyung has been over the last month and a half. What his true intentions are, and they aren’t to play games with Jeongguk. To mess with his head. Just to keep him safe and to show him who he is.

“You know when humans starve themselves for long enough, when there’s no food, they eat each other,” Jeongguk tells him quietly, rubbing a palm over Taehyung’s forehead. “I’m sure some have a moral conflict over it, but they still do it.”

Taehyung gives him a look like he thinks Jeongguk is absurd before a watery laugh bursts from his lips. He hiccups it out, and Jeongguk smiles as he listens to it. He just wishes it worked in getting the tears out of Taehyung’s eyes. 

“From what it sounds like you’ve been starving yourself,” Jeongguk says gently, tracing the shape of Taehyung’s mouth. “And you were critically wounded and poisoned. I’m not holding your actions against you.” 

Taehyung blinks a few times before he nods. He breathes in, exhales, and seems to fall into a rhythm of breathing again that Jeongguk’s grateful for. “Poisoned? What was it?”

Jeongguk glances at the door when it opens. He wishes they’d give him a few more minutes alone with Taehyung. “Namjoon said it might be nightshade.”

“It was,” Yoongi says as he comes over to Taehyung. “Alpha Donghun was right. Word has spread through the communes the effect it has on us.”

Taehyung looks grim. “Who did we lose in the raid?”

Yoongi shakes his head. He’s so tender in the way he strokes a knuckle down Taehyung’s cheek, in the look on his face. It isn’t something Jeongguk thought Yoongi could be, but he supposes he’s never given Yoongi a reason to be anything other than aggressive and defensive around him. 

“We’ll talk about it later,” Yoongi tells him as he pulls away. “We’ll get you fed, yeah? With nightshade going around, none of us are comfortable with Seok going to the hospital. We voted. Jimin in your name. He assumed you’d agree.”

Taehyung nods, watching as Yoongi undoes the strap from one of his arms. “Feed yourselves first.”

Yoongi laughs sarcastically. “Don’t pull that shit right now, alpha. The body doesn’t work well when the head isn’t right. So get right so we can build our strength as a clan again, alright? Don’t be fucking stubborn.”

“Don’t talk to your alpha like that,” Taehyung says, but there’s a smile on his lips. “I’m fine.”

His words are contradicted as he tries to stand and his legs give out beneath him. Yoongi catches him with ease as Jeongguk stands up in alarm. Taehyung’s expression turns into one of annoyance as he tries to push off Yoongi’s attempts in helping him back into the bed. 

“It’s not all out of your system,” Yoongi explains, forcing Taehyung back into the bed. Jeongguk feels useless really, until he grabs Taehyung’s hand and he stops trying to fight off Yoongi. “I’d give it another day or two, alright?”

When Taehyung repeats what Yoongi says under his breath, with a bit of attitude in his tone, Jeongguk can’t help but laugh. He laughs more when he sees Taehyung’s lips quirk up. 

Yoongi doesn’t seem as amused. He rolls his eyes. “You spend too much time with Hoseok.”

He leaves then, and it turns awkward. Jeongguk keeps hold of Taehyung’s hand, but he doesn’t know what to say. 

The last week has been a whirlwind. Spending all of his time inside the makeshift hospital room with no one but an unconscious Taehyung for the majority of that time left Jeongguk alone to his thoughts often. Except when they were invaded by Taehyung’s voice. 

It’s the reason he shifts a hand beneath Taehyung’s head and guides him close. 

“You can feed from me.”

Taehyung looks at him for a long time before he shakes his head. “I’m not going to die, Jeon.”

“Promise me?”

Another soft smile from Taehyung has Jeongguk’s heart growing in his chest. “Promise. Might get close to it again for you to take care of me. Love being spoiled.” 

Jeongguk rolls his eyes as he pets Taehyung’s scalp and adds pressure to his touch. “Like Yoongi said, stop being fucking stubborn and just feed.” 

He tilts his head to the side, and it’s instant the way Taehyung’s eyes flicker to black. After the last week, Jeongguk’s gotten used to it enough that it doesn’t jumpstart his heart anymore. It isn’t as bad without the translucent skin and protruding, squirming veins anyhow. 

“Why?” Taehyung asks, eyes latching onto Jeongguk’s neck, and it doesn’t seem conscious the way his head inches forward. 

Jeongguk shrugs, hopefully nonchalantly. “Felt good. Like you said.”

Taehyung snorts, but he gives into the press against his head and noses against Jeongguk’s neck. Jeongguk can feel his nostrils flare against his skin when he breathes in. 

“What did it feel like?” Taehyung murmurs, words tickling Jeongguk. “Hm?”

A stuttered exhale leaves Jeongguk’s chest, and he arches his neck more to the side, pressing into Taehyung. “Good. I felt complete.”

Taehyung hums in the back of his throat, a pleased noise as he mouths at Jeongguk’s skin. “Me too.”

This time, when Jeongguk’s heart picks up the pace it isn’t from fear but anticipation. A good kind. If he thinks about it too much, letting Taehyung do this, it’ll stress him out. Later. Right now, all he can focus on is the poke of Taehyung’s teeth against him. That Taehyung needs to feed to heal, to be strong. 

“You remember?” Jeongguk exhales out sharply, tugging into Taehyung’s hair. 

“Mhm,” Taehyung hums. “Felt like I was trapped in my head. Knew everything that was going on but couldn’t stop myself from doing any of it.”

That warmth already starts to fill Jeongguk before Taehyung can actually bite him. Taehyung cups the base of his head, fingers soothing as they brush against his scalp.

“It’s really okay,” Jeongguk whispers like a promise, tilting his head back. “You could stop yourself while out of control, then I trust not hurting me is instinct.”

Taehyung nods. “Never want to hurt you.”

He sinks his teeth in then, and it doesn’t hurt. A small pinch before all the tension leaves Jeongguk’s body. Waves of warmth rippling through him. Taehyung moans at the feeling, his fingers digging in a little harder. 

This time, there are no voices in Jeongguk’s head. No whispered apologies, but he still feels connected to Taehyung somehow. 

Hoseok had tried to describe how it felt, and Jeongguk thinks peace is the right word. That’s what Jeongguk feels. Like he’s at peace.

He hasn’t felt at peace ever in his life. 

Another moan leaves Taehyung’s lips, and he’s pulling off just to sink his teeth lower. Jeongguk grips into Taehyung’s shoulder, and the sound that leaves his lips seems distant. Like it’s from someone else, farther away. 

The growl Taehyung lets out, Jeongguk can feel everywhere. Reverberating through his limbs, tickling the roof of his mouth like it came from his own throat. The phantom taste on his tongue is sweet, and Jeongguk wonders if that’s how he tastes to Taehyung. 

Sweet. 

Taehyung makes a guttural sound when he pulls off, and Jeongguk barely has time to register the connection that snaps between them before Taehyung’s guiding their mouths together. 

Like before, the touch of his lips is a question. A question Jeongguk answers by slotting their mouths together.

“No annoying comments about me being weak?” Taehyung laughs tiredly, his fingers biting into Jeongguk’s arm for support as he walks down the steps to the first floor. “Disappointed, Jeon. You’re missing a good opportunity.”

Jeongguk only smiles, tries to hide the concern inside of him as he watches how Taehyung struggles to manage steps. 

Only a few weeks ago, he broke his fist through someone’s chest and pulled their heart out with ease, and now he looks like each step takes all of his energy. 

It’s been a full week since Taehyung arrived back here injured. He isn’t delirious anymore, but Jeongguk wishes he would get more of his strength back.

“If this were any other clan, they’d have taken advantage of my weak state so they could become alpha,” Taehyung tells him, still laughing. It isn’t really funny, but whatever keeps him from frowning, Jeongguk will go along with. 

“Literally no one here wants to be alpha,” Jin says from the bottom of the steps, a hand held out for Taehyung to grab. “You should have stayed upstairs.”

Taehyung glares at him in offense. “I’m fine. I might stay like this for some time to have a hunk like this on me at all times.”

Heat rises to Jeongguk’s face, and Jin’s twists in disgust. “Please never say that again.”

Taehyung grunts as he steps down the last step, but he keeps a grin on his lips. “Don’t act like a prude, old man. We should find a donor your age so maybe you’ll get off for once in your life.”

Jin rolls his eyes. He tries to keep a hand on Taehyung, but Taehyung shakes him off. “That’s actually not a bad idea. Can’t quite behind the pleasure of feeding when the human I’m feeding from is literally fifty years younger than me.”

Jeongguk finds said human sitting on the couch as they round into the living room. Everyone’s there actually, and Taehyung cusses quietly at the sight of them. 

“It’s better for my pride if you weren’t all here,” Taehyung says gruffly. He seems to grow more grumpy when everyone quickly moves around to make space for him on the couch. 

“Thought you said you liked being tended to?” Jeongguk teases quietly as he helps Taehyung to the couch at the same time as Jin reminding him that he said Taehyung should have stayed upstairs.

“By you,” Taehyung clarifies, eyes brightening in amusement as he ignores Jin. “Since it’s not really your thing.”

“For you, it is my thing,” Jeongguk tells him as he sits in the empty space beside Taehyung. In the last few days, everyone has been in and out of the hospital room to check on Taehyung and lift his spirits. To suggest and try to force Taehyung to feed despite the glaringly obvious bite marks on Jeongguk’s neck. 

He’s a little too aware of them right now. The one on his wrist had disappeared right away, but the ones on his neck haven’t even scabbed over yet.

“Don’t turn soft on me, Jeon,” Taehyung says, but he’s a hypocrite because he says it so softly. “If you stop talking shit, I won’t have anything good in my life.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, amused. “I don’t think it’s considered being ‘soft’ when someone almost dies.”

Taehyung grumbles under his breath, waving him off but the smile remains on his lips. “Didn’t almost die. You think some measly bullets can take me out? Kim fucking Taehyung?”

There’s a rumble of sarcastics comments that follow. Some amused, laughter from Jimin. It’s only Hoseok that looks like he’s pissed instead of amused.

“They could have,” Hoseok says, his tone rougher than usual. “It’s not going to take long for the hunters to know what happens when -”

Yoongi cuts him off with an elbow pushing into him, eyes warning as they flick between Jeongguk and him. “Jeongguk may not want Taehyung to die, but he doesn’t suddenly love all vampires, Seok. Be quiet, would you?”

“I can speak for myself, thanks,” Jeongguk interrupts, annoyed, though Yoongi’s right. Or at least, Jeongguk understands the precaution. “I have no interest in this nightshade shit, and neither does Namjoon. He’s the only hunter I’m in contact with.”

Hoseok holds a hand out to indicate him, but Yoongi doesn’t look convinced as he turns his glaring eyes onto Jeongguk. “And if you found a cheaper, easier way to kill vampires than silver, would you not go relay that back to your hunting buddies?”

“Enough,” Taehyung says, exhausted sounding as he holds up a hand. “Too tired for this shit. I almost died. Give me some peace.”

Jimin snorts. “A second ago, you just said -”

Taehyung grins as he flicks him off. “I’m the alpha. I can change my mind. Now, update me. Make me feel normal and useful.”

Over the last month and a half, Jeongguk’s known that the clan gets together for meetings. Hoseok usually is with him during them, and he has no idea what they talk about. But he listens now as Yoongi describes what happened at the raid, lists off the vampires that were killed. Jeongguk watches Taehyung’s frown grow more and more with each passing second, and he doesn’t care if anyone sees the way he threads their fingers together.

He’s highly aware of the way everyone watches them, but it’s more of a survival instinct than being self conscious. He’s surrounded by all of them for the first time really, on the other side of the fence for once. Listening to how vampires come back from a raid rather than a hunter.

“We aren’t striking back,” Taehyung says when Yoongi suggests it. “That’s Namjoon’s commune. And we aren’t spreading this. We don’t need clans going around trying to off communes out of fear more than they already do.”

Yoongi shakes his head, scoffing under the hand he rubs at his mouth. “Your past clouds your judgment. If these communes weren’t already trying to wipe us out, all of this would be unneeded. Most of us want to live in peace and they aren’t letting us. I say we should alert the other clans. Protect ourselves.”

There’s a murmuring of agreement, and Jeongguk knows he shouldn’t be here. Not right now, not while they discuss something like this. But he refuses to leave Taehyung’s side, especially when his grip on his hand tightens. 

Hoseok keeps looking at him nervously, and Jeongguk wants to ask him what he feels because Jeongguk has no idea. 

“He’s right. Vampires outnumber hunters by a lot, Tae,” Jimin says, reaching to grab Yoongi’s hand. “Yet they wipe out more of us than we do them. The only reasons hunters die is because they’ve killed mates, family members. To protect themselves.”

Jeongguk almost interrupts then. Almost every hunter he’s grown up with has died by the hands of a vampire, but he bites his tongue when Taehyung digs a nail into his knuckle. Even if it feels physically impossible to keep his thoughts to himself. 

It’s a back and forth, that Jeongguk thinks has been happening over and over again to the point there’s no first strike anymore. Vampires killing to protect themselves, hunters doing the same. The same back and forth for hundreds of years. 

“No,” Taehyung insists. “We’re not stooping to their level. They already think it’s human versus vampire here. We need to give them a reason not to think that, not to strengthen that idea.” 

Yoongi laughs as he stands up in frustration despite Jimin trying to tug him back. “You know firsthand how much I hate the part of me that is vampire, who I come from. I don’t deserve to die for it, though.”

“No one’s dying,” Taehyung says, growls. He pushes up, struggles to, and Jeongguk has the urge to yank him down. He doesn’t though, but tightens the muscles in his arm for Taehyung to use his hand as a support to lift himself. 

“Gonna stay holed up here?” Yoongi asks, challenges. “For thousands of years? I don’t think so, Taehyung.”

Jeongguk has no choice but to stand too when Taehyung keeps his hand in his and walks farther from the couch, closing the space between him and Yoongi. He only lets Jeongguk’s hand go to put both of his on Yoongi’s shoulders.

Part of Jeongguk knows Yoongi won’t attack him, but with how hostile he comes off right now, Jeongguk doesn’t want to risk moving away from Taehyung. Something protective flares up inside of him that makes him want to shove Yoongi before he can even get the chance to consider putting his hands on Taehyung.

Like Taehyung said, anyone here could easily overpower him right now and take on the reins of alpha. Taehyung may be confident that Yoongi wouldn’t do just that, but Jeongguk isn’t. 

“We’ll figure something out,” Taehyung says, soft spoken as if the words are only for Yoongi. “But we’re not doing it recklessly. We’re going to think about it,  talk with a few heads. Get in touch with Namjoon -”

“Excuse me?” Jeongguk interrupts. 

Yoongi turns that glare on him, but Taehyung’s expression is softer. “I’ve decided to tell Namjoon what I am.”

The protests are immediate, and they’re loud . Even Jeongguk’s, and it’s no longer just to protect Namjoon’s heart but his own. 

When Namjoon said he wouldn’t be able to pull the trigger on his sister, Jeongguk believed him. But this is different. He’s only known Taehyung a few short years, and he isn’t going to sit idly by knowing Jeongguk’s been inside a nest for almost two months. 

Namjoon might not be able to pull the trigger on Taehyung normally, but if he thinks Jeongguk’s in danger, that’s another story. Namjoon implied that he thought Jeongguk would pull the trigger on his sister, and Jeongguk doesn’t think that’s true anymore. Before, maybe. Jeongguk doesn’t know. 

“It’s my decision,” Taehyung announces, voice loud and powering over everyone’s. “If you’ve forgotten, I make the final call here. This is not something we’re voting on. Namjoon’s my family, I get to decide if I tell him or not. Plus, I think he’d help us if he knew I’ve been hurt from nightshade. If he knows we want peace, not violence.” 

He pulls away from Yoongi then, hand reaching out for Jeongguk, but Jeongguk doesn’t give it to him. A bit of confusion touches Taehyung’s face when he meets Jeongguk’s glare. 

“You said not to make a hasty decision, but this is one,” Jeongguk says stubbornly. God, past him wouldn’t even recognize who he’s become. “You’re forgetting I have access to Namjoon’s database. I can communicate with other hunters. Find out who is using this nightshade thing. See what information they spread about it. If it’s anything like Hoseok was going to suggest.”

Yoongi laughs again, and Jeongguk’s really struggling to fight the urge to punch him. “You’d really want us to believe that you’re on our side right now?”

“I’m not,” Jeongguk insists. He doesn’t avoid Taehyung’s eyes though he feels like he should. Taehyung should know this already. “But if it keeps you from attacking communes, then yes. I’ll do it. I’d also like to make sure that Taehyung doesn’t die, yeah? All my reasons are completely selfish, don’t think I’m on your side.”

Jeongguk doesn’t even have a clear side that he’s on anymore.   

Yoongi shoves away from Taehyung, but he doesn’t let go of Jimin’s hand. Jimin sends the back of Taehyung’s head an apologetic look, but he follows after Yoongi. 

Taehyung grips onto Jeongguk’s hand, fingers biting into his skin as he tries to regain his balance. “What do you think, hyung?”

For the last few minutes, Jin and Hoseok have been completely silent. Even Matthew, who plays on his phone like he isn’t paying attention at all. Hoseok looks pale, hands stuffed between his thighs. Jin looks considerate a moment before he shrugs.

“It’s a good idea, except that everyone thinks Jeongguk is dead. If he claims he’s been in hiding, it’ll look weak. You’ll have to make it convincing that he hasn’t had access to the database for the last month or so,” Jin says, fingers moving through the air as he speaks. “Give it about a week, I can let the word slip that he’s been spotted. The hunters may keep it quiet to themselves. A secret weapon now that they know the vampires are on the hunt for him.”

Static erupts inside of Jeongguk. He doesn’t like being talked about like this, but he never was okay with being in hiding either. He too thought it looked like a weakness. He can tell Taehyung doesn’t think it’s a good idea by how he jabs his tongue into his cheek, annoyance written on his face. 

“Contact your insiders. Tell them to keep it hush that Jeongguk’s alive. Stress how he can be used as a secret weapon,” Taehyung says, orders. “I need to lay down for a second.”

Jeongguk sends a questioning look to Jin, who stands with a pleased smile on his face. 

“Insiders?” Jeongguk asks, not bothering to hide his anger at that. That there are hunters who will go against their people for a thousand different assumptions that pop off in Jeongguk’s mind. It makes him feel like a hypocrite because just a week ago, he was glad that hunters died , and that feeling hasn’t completely gone away really.

Jin nods as he straightens out the lapels of his suit. “I’m in contact with about ten different communes. But calm that rage face of yours, Gukkie. The only thing I get out of it is the death of vampires I wish to perish. I don’t like to get my hands dirty you see.”

Taehyung leans his weight into Jeongguk then, a low groan leaving his lips that has Jeongguk bending down to scoop him into his arms. 

“Your little hunters have benefited from it,” Jin goes on as Hoseok rushes to Taehyung’s side. “I know Namjoon has, and in turn, so have you.”

Jin’s words make Jeongguk falter until he’s nearly tripping and dropping Taehyung onto the couch instead of carefully laying him down on it.

“What do you mean?” Jeongguk grits out, trying his best not to react angrily as he gently plants Taehyung to the couch despite Taehyung’s disputes that he’s fine. It goes to show how weak he really is as he tries to get JuEgongguk to put him down and fails. 

“I mean, I’ve been providing Namjoon with information on clans and nests since he left the Academy,” Jin says, almost proud like as he bows his head. “I must go now. I have a few calls to make.”

Fingers twist into Jeongguk’s sleeve, keeping him from storming after Jin to demand him to explain further. 

For being too weak to stand for long, Taehyung suddenly has strength again when it comes to holding Jeongguk back. 

“You’re explaining that,” Jeongguk grunts, throwing a thumb over his shoulder at Jin’s retreating form.

Taehyung closes his eyes, nodding. “Yes, yes. I will. Just give me a moment.”

Jeongguk sits down next to him. “You can have three.”

Peeking one eye open, Jeongguk thinks Taehyung’s going for a glare but the smirk on his lips ruins it. “Nevermind. I changed my mind. Go back to being a soft shit.”

Gently, Jeongguk brushes Taehyung’s bangs from his forehead. He watches as the veins appear on Taehyung’s neck, as they work up to his jaw. They usually extend to his cheeks, but Taehyung inhales deeply and slowly, the veins shrink back in size.

He doesn’t open his eyes again until they’re completely gone, and he doesn’t mention it. Jeongguk wonders if he knows when it happens. If he can feel the veins moving.

“Do you need -”

“No,” Taehyung interrupts. “I’m trying to figure out what to do here. An alpha is made because of strength, but that doesn’t mean their leadership qualities are up to par for something like this.” 

Before Jeongguk can respond, Hoseok appears. He leans over the arm of the couch so his face is over Taehyung’s, and he gently flicks Taehyung in the nose.

“If you say you’re a bad leader, I’ll put salt in your morning juice,” Hoseok threatens. “And don’t forget, none of us are expecting you to figure everything out. We’re all in this together, yeah? You have all of us to rely on for help.”

Taehyung nods, but he flinches when Hoseok moves his fingers again. This time, Hoseok only pinches Taehyung’s nose and gently wiggles it. “Thanks, Hobi.”

Hoseok hums as he stands straight. “Don’t ever get hurt again, alright? Promise me.”

It’s not something anyone can promise, all three of them know that. But Taehyung still nods, and Hoseok seems satisfied with that as he leaves them.

“I second that,” Jeongguk whispers as he takes Taehyung’s hand into his own and rests it between them. “Scared me.”

“I thought you weren’t, and I quote, ‘scared of shit,’” Taehyung replies because he is a shit. 

Jeongguk grins as he watches Taehyung’s thumb run over his knuckles. “I lied,” he admits with a quiet, awkward laugh that dies quickly. “I’m terrified of losing you. Which goes against my ‘emotions don’t work in this life’ mindset.”

Taehyung’s eyes focus on him, but he stays quiet for a moment. “It’s why I never told you.”

Jeongguk raises a questioning brow, but Taehyung doesn’t explain right away. He licks his lips a few times, looks away as if he’s contemplating how to. 

When he moves to sit up, Jeongguk tries to press him back down, but Taehyung shakes his head. He leans back against the arm of the couch for a second, gathering his strength before he twists his hands into Jeongguk’s shirt and pulls himself closer. 

“Well, I didn’t think you’d return those feelings and it would just make you uncomfortable,” Taehyung finally explains. “Then when Namjoon told me about the hunters you two had lost in a raid, I realized it could easily happen to me. Not because I thought you weren’t capable, but because I was new at hunting. I was good, but not invincible. Thought if I annoyed you enough, you wouldn’t feel pain if something did happen to me.”

It hurts. Jeongguk finds himself shaking his head though he doesn’t mean to. There’s just a pull inside of him, a want to fight Taehyung’s words off. A need to assure Taehyung that it’s the opposite of that.

It took losing Taehyung for Jeongguk to realize just how much Taehyung had affected him, impacted him. For him to realize how much he needed Taehyung around. Much too late.

Maybe it was his way of trying to no tlet emotions get in the way. Like he’s convinced himself of that rule so much that he had to store his feelings for Taehyung in a box in his mind and bury it so they wouldn’t get in the way. But they were always there. 

“Losing you was the worst pain I ever felt,” Jeongguk tells him quietly. “And I’m not going to let it happen again. Even if I have to lock you up in that goth tower.”

Taehyung groans at his failed attempt at lightening the situation. “I’m really sorry for that. My brain was so fucked then. It’s no excuse. It’s like I blacked out when I saw you after you came here.”

Jeongguk gets it, kind of. When Taehyung had died, Jeongguk had been incoherent. He had screamed at Namjoon, he had shoved Youngho when he tried to help him stand. He fought off any hunter that tried to stop him from searching every inch of that nest because he couldn’t leave at the chance Jimin had just taken Taehyung to another part of it.

Even if he knew it was empty and ran through the nest for hours. It still took three hunters to pull him out of the nest. 

Body moving not because Jeongguk wanted to but pain and panic had control of him. Just like when Taehyung as brought here injured. How he fought away Jimin when he knew Jimin was just trying to keep him safe. When he wouldn’t get out of Hoseok’s way even though he knew that Hoseok was the only one who could take care of him. 

“I’m glad you made me see I never lost you,” Jeongguk replies as he cups the side of Taehyung’s neck. “I know you were trying to protect your clan. I think you’re a good leader. Especially for the situation you’ve been given, and for being so young. A baby vamp, Jimin had called you. Still trying to figure it all out.”

Taehyung’s lips quirk up as he leans in and presses a firm kiss to Jeongguk’s lips. “Thanks for not killing my clan.” 

Jeongguk glances around, making sure they’re still alone though he’s sure they can still be heard. “Yoongi’s not in the clear, yet.”

Taehyung snorts. “When you guys get over this, I bet you two are going to be the closest in the group.”

It’s confirmed they can still be heard when Hoseok’s voice floats into the room. Very offended sounding when he says, “Not a chance. I already called dibs on being Jeongguk’s best friend. Back off Min.”

Taehyung laughs quietly, brushing the sound against Jeongguk’s mouth. 

Carefully, because Jeongguk’s worried about hurting him, he cups the back of Taehyung’s head to support it and kisses him again. “I know you think you lost me, that you’re afraid of it, but you haven’t and you won’t.”

Taehyung nibbles on his bottom lip. “I know you’re afraid of people messing with your mind, but I wasn’t. I just needed you to know I wasn’t me. That I was sorry.”

Jeongguk nods in understanding. He wants to ask more about it, if Taehyung heard any of his thoughts, if Taehyung knows Jeongguk heard his dreams too, but Taehyung looks so tired that Jeongguk urges him to lay back down instead. 

When Taehyung closes his eyes, Jeongguk wishes he had the ability to make Taehyung have peaceful dreams.

Chapter Text

It feels wrong to enter Namjoon’s database, though Jeongguk tells himself that he’s doing it to protect hunters. The clan that had hosted Taehyung and the others during the attack had already caught wind of a rumor about hunters using nightshade, but Jeongguk wants to intervene before it spreads further. 

He hopes, at least. Taehyung’s already made it clear that no one in his clan will strike against the commune Namjoon is in, but they’re only five vampires out of thousands. A population that’s steadily growing by day. 

Jeongguk knows why Taehyung’s clan thinks other vampires just want peace, but he doesn’t. If they did, why are they building an army? Why is the population growing so quickly? 

It feels like a takeover, but Jeongguk can’t tell if he’s being rational in thinking that or it’s from his lifelong hatred for vampires. Us versus them mentality.

As much as it aggravates him, he understands why Yoongi wants to strike. It’s been really messing with his head over the last week. 

“You should rest, Tae.”

Taehyung makes a noise of complaint, almost whiny, from where he sits next to Jeongguk. “I’ve been resting for two weeks. I finally have my strength back. I need all of you to stop treating me like a baby. I suddenly see why Hoseok’s always telling us off for it. I’m an alpha, the strongest vampire in existence. Have a little respect.”

Jeongguk grins as he taps in Namjoon’s password, his nerves spiking that maybe he’s changed it since. They have a plan in order they ever get separated, so he knows what he’d change it to, but he doesn’t want Namjoon to be alerted that a log in was attempted with the wrong password.

“Whining is not helping your case,” Jeongguk tells him, relief filling him as the password works. “And resting and being weak sometimes doesn’t take away from that, Tae.” 

He doesn’t know if Namjoon could track his location, and he hasn’t expressed that concern to Taehyung either. He’s a little worried, feels a bit guilty, but Namjoon has no reason to track him unless he thinks he’s in danger. He’s talked to Namjoon a few times in the last week so he knows he’s okay.  

“I’ve just been restless,” Taehyung tells him as he rolls to his side so he’s pressing into Jeongguk’s. He rests his hand on Jeongguk’s stomach, a simple touch that Jeongguk focuses on too much. “Wanna train after this?”

Jeongguk hums distractedly as he scrolls through the database. It’s been some time since he’s used it. He goes to Namjoon’s recent files first to see who Namjoon has been tracking, which location the hunters are focusing on. 

“I’d feel ten times better if I can kick your ass,” Taehyung says, his fingers running over the wrinkles in Jeongguk’s shirt. “Hate feeling weak.” 

“Now you know how I’ve felt,” Jeongguk says, tapping away. 

It must be the wrong thing to say because suddenly Taehyung’s planting his hand to his other side, leaning over him and getting in the way of the computer screen. “You’re the strongest one here. What do you mean?”

Jeongguk looks from the slight pout to Taehyung’s mouth to his questioning eyes. “I’ve never been able to defeat Jimin, so I don’t think that’s true.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “You wouldn’t be able to defeat me if I put my all in.” 

It’s probably true from what Jeongguk’s gathered, but he has pride and he refuses to ever admit out loud to Taehyung that Taehyung could beat him. “Stop going easy on me then. I’m not fragile.”

He is. That’s his point, and it’s obvious in everything. The fact that anything could kill Jeongguk while Taehyung had a belly full of bullets, covered in poison, and was only really out for about six days. 

Just training is dangerous. A slip up from Taehyung’s part, a little too much of his strength, agility, and accuracy combined together could kill Jeongguk. 

“Okay,” Taehyung hums, and there’s something in his voice that makes Jeongguk’s stomach swoop. It’s accompanied with a heavy look in Taehyung’s eyes that reminds Jeongguk of the times they’ve been glossed over. Except now they’re clear and still brown. “I’ll go hard instead.”

Jeongguk bites at his bottom lip, watching Taehyung mimic the movement. “You agreed that going on the database was a good idea. Let me get my database on.”

Taehyung nods, but he doesn’t move away until Jeongguk leans in and brushes a kiss to his mouth. 

It’s not something they do often though it’s something Jeongguk constantly wants to do. He thinks about it in the most random of moments. When Taehyung is speaking, he has an urge to interrupt him with a kiss. When Taehyung says goodnight, Jeongguk wants to kiss him. When he says good morning, Jeongguk wants to kiss him. 

The moment he laid down on the bed beside him, Jeongguk wanted to kiss him.

He still doesn’t move that far, resting his head to Jeongguk’s chest with an arm curled over his stomach. Jeongguk used to think Taehyung was extremely touchy, and he’s glad to see it hasn’t changed. 

“Any clans you know in Incheon?” Jeongguk asks as he taps on a file for street footage from the city two days ago. 

“A few,” Taehyung replies, fingers rubbing down Jeongguk’s side. It’s distracting. “No one ancient as far as I know. As you know, most city clans are small.” 

Jeongguk clicks on the parts of the video Namjoon has starred. He doesn’t recognize the man that crosses the screen each time. It isn’t even that clear, but Namjoon’s always had a better eye at this than he has. 

“I’ve never seen a vampire that old,” Taehyung says as he rubs his hand up to Jeongguk’s chest and around to the other side of his neck. “Looks like he’s in his fifties?”

“Is it like some rule you have to be  young to be turned?” Jeongguk asks between chewing on his bottom lip. He fills with warmth from how Taehyung rubs at his neck.

Spending most of their time together, Jeongguk knows Taehyung hasn’t fed in over a week. He claims he has, when Jeongguk’s asleep, but his gut tells him Taehyung’s lying. 

“No,” Taehyung laughs, shifting against him. “ It’s just not common.”

The next ten files of footage all contain the same man. Nothing too clear, but Jeongguk starts to be able to tell it’s the same man after a few. Taehyung grows more restless, hand securing against Jeongguk’s neck as his head tilts to brush a kiss to the side of his neck.

He keeps doing it, and Jeongguk arches his head to the side. Every time he does though, it makes Taehyung stop or pull away. 

“All the hunter’s names are coded,” Jeongguk says as he clicks on part of the database that’s used like a message board. “I don’t know who everyone is.”

Taehyung hums like he’s listening, but his mouth presses back against Jeongguk’s neck and this time, he feels teeth.

“Tae, if you’re hungry -”

“Not,” Taehyung says, but he sounds guilty as he rests his cheek back against Jeongguk’s chest. “That one is Chan from Yongin-si.”

He points to a user named cb97 and then shifts his finger down to the next row, coups95 . “Daegu.”

“How do you know that?” Jeongguk asks after he clears his throat as the warmth spreads to his abdomen when Taehyung rubs his hand back down his chest. Like his touch is creating a wildfire across his skin. 

“I spent a lot of time with Namjoon while you were training,” Taehyung says. His head turns back against his throat, this time touching beside his Adam’s apple. “Realizing, I don’t think you hate vampires, I think you just hate everyone. Hunters included.”

Jeongguk only grunts in response, any words getting stuck in his throat from the way Taehyung’s lips tickle his skin. He does hate other hunters too. They think they’re better than the rest, they question Namjoon too much, and they frankly just get on Jeongguk’s nerves.

Granted, Jeongguk does think he’s the best too, but he only talked shit about it to Taehyung. 

“Don’t hate Namjoon,” Jeongguk finally says as he scrolls but he doesn’t see anything on the message boards about nightshade or poison.

“Mhm,” Taehyung agrees, distant sound as he sucks Jeongguk’s skin into his mouth.

It goes straight to Jeongguk’s dick, dragging a soft groan from his lips that has Taehyung immediately pulling away.

“I’m sorry. I have to go,” Taehyung says, sitting up with a frazzled look on his face. It doesn’t fit with the black eyes or the veins reaching up his face. “I thought I could ignore it.”

Jeongguk grabs his wrist, holding him as he moves the computer to the side of the bed. “Just feed, Tae. You aren’t fully back to health yet. Just get there already so you can stop acting like a fucking horndog every time we’re together.”

“That’s probably never going to happen,” Taehyung jokes back, a slight grin on his face and it’s better than the stressed one he was wearing. “You’re kind of sexy, you know?”

Jeongguk hums his agreement as he encourages Taehyung to come back to him. “I know. Not sure why you never made a move.”

Taehyung wrinkles his nose, upper lip curling. “That’s why. Your attitude. Didn’t want to give you an ego boost.”

Despite this, Taehyung crawls over Jeongguk until he’s laying flat on the bed. Jeongguk tilts his head, but Taehyung’s mouth finds his lips instead of his neck. 

“It’s just,” Taehyung starts between peppering kisses to Jeongguk’s mouth as Jeongguk rests his hands at Taehyung’s hips. “I meant to simply kiss your neck and you got aroused. And then you fucking tilted your head, and I don’t think you know what that does to me. And the way you smell is just - fuck, I don’t know, intoxicating.”

Jeongguk hums because Taehyung doesn’t give him a chance to reply with anything else as he kisses him harder. Deeper, tongue working its way between Jeongguk’s lips, and when Taehyung groans, he knows it’s because of the surge of arousal that goes through him. That he can sense it. 

Despite his annoyance with the general advantages vampires have on him, Jeongguk likes that Taehyung can tell this. It makes him kiss harder, move against him, pulls these soft noises from his throat. Arousal doesn’t spark through him, but it’s a constant growing feeling that has Jeongguk’s fingers digging into Taehyung’s hips a little harder until they’re rolling down against him.

“Is this too much?” Taehyung asks, voice raspy as he noses beneath Jeongguk’s jaw. “‘M not - I don’t want you to feel like I’m doing anything to make you - or messing with your head or anything. Because I’m not, I’m just -”

Jeongguk shakes his head as he cups the back of Taehyung’s. He does feel a pull to Taehyung, to touch and kiss, to have him touch and kiss back, but it’s stemmed from want, desire. 

He looks back and thinks that’s all it ever was. It could be as Hoseok theorized, some instinct drawing Taehyung to him, making him struggle a little more with the control to feed, and this is Jeongguk’s response in return. The same kind of desperate want, need, blossoming inside of him when Taehyung’s near and his need to survive fighting against it.

There is no fight or flight inside of him now as he arches his neck and guides Taehyung’s mouth to it. He thinks of how Matthew says it’s different at times, and it is different now. It isn’t warmth that floods Jeongguk’s body when Taehyung’s teeth sink into his jugular vein again, but fire. 

It courses through him as his body presses up into Taehyung’s, a broken moan leaving his lips. His nerves set ablaze, his arousal going from a seedling to growing and winding like it’s filling every inch of him.

It’s good. Jeongguk’s never felt this good before.

He rubs his hands up Taehyung’s back, dragging soft cotton from where it’s tucked into the back of his joggers. Fists the shirt in his hands as pleasure courses through him because he’s afraid of how tightly he may dig them into Taehyung’s skin if he holds onto him instead. Even if it feels as if there’s flames licking at his fingertips, and Taehyung’s bare skin is the only way to cool them.

“Touch me,” Taehyung breathes against his ear when he pulls off. His lips wrap around Jeongguk’s ear lobe, and he moans loudly when he sucks it into his mouth. “Please, if you want to.”

Jeongguk slips his hands beneath Taehyung’s shirt. His skin is as smooth and soft as it looks. Jeongguk thinks he could get addicted to the feel of it, super glue his palms to Taehyung and be satisfied. 

“Me too,” Jeongguk whispers, but he doesn’t give Taehyung the chance to touch as he spreads his palms around Taehyung’s ribcage and gently guides him up.

It should bother him, the trail of blood leaking from the corner of Taehyung’s mouth, but it doesn’t. He kisses it away as he guides Taehyung’s shirt up his torso, only moving away as Taehyung grabs the collar and pulls it the rest of the way off.

“I miss your piercings,” Jeongguk murmurs as he trails his tongue beneath Taehyung’s bottom lip, remembering the tiny ball that always sat in the center. He rubs a thumb over Taehyung’s eyebrow and slowly curves it around his cheek to touch at his nose. “Hot like this too, though.”

Taehyung hums. “Stainless steel doesn’t kill a vampire but it fucking itched like a bitch, so I just let them close up.”

Jeongguk laughs quietly as Taehyung grips beneath his chin and guides his head back. It comes out rougher, leaving his throat feeling raw as Taehyung bites him a second time. 

“Got something else,” Taehyung whispers, as he grabs Jeongguk’s hand and guides it up to his chest. Jeongguk wants to hold onto him when he pulls back again, but Taehyung coaxes his attention to the hand he holds. “Would you be surprised if I told you Hoseok once was a tattoo artist?”

It’s vines, crescent shaped and curving around one side of Taehyung’s right nipple. They’re black, but the tiny flowers budding on them are gold. Jeongguk admires it for a moment before he leans in and takes the hardening bud into his mouth, hands slipping around to Taehyung’s back to hold him close.

Taehyung gasps, fingers gripping into Jeongguk’s hair as his body arches into him. He wraps his thighs tight around Jeongguk’s waist when Jeongguk flicks and rolls his tongue over him until spit is collecting at Jeongguk’s lip and threatening to spill down to his chin.

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk whispers when he pulls back, but he doesn’t know what he wants or why it sounds like a plea. It’s just him - Taehyung that he wants. The man in his lap, eyes fully black, blood making it’s way down his chin and to the length of his neck. 

Jeongguk still wants him, all of him, anyway he comes.

“I want you.”

A sharp exhale leaves Taehyung’s lips as he nods, and he pushes a hand to Jeongguk’s shoulder, forcing him to lay back. Jeongguk spreads his hands over the sides of his thighs, and it’s overwhelming when Taehyung adjusts so their crotches are aligned and immediately rolls down.

“Want you too,” Taehyung breathes, pressing his hand to the base of Jeongguk’s neck for support as he curls his hips and fucks them down against Jeongguk’s bulge. “Always wanted you.”

His track pants bunch between his legs, but Jeongguk can see the way he strains against the fabric. He cups a hand over it, that fire bursting back through him as Taehyung’s hips stutter and his mouth falls open around another moan.

“When you said restless, did you just mean horny?” Jeongguk jokes, but it comes out like a groan when he feels how hard Taehyung is. “Could’ve just told me.”

Taehyung grins as he grinds down against Jeongguk’s hand. “No. Wasn’t horny until I came around you.” He leans over Jeongguk, arms caging around his head to press a kiss to his lips. “My body reacts to yours, you know? You’ve been aroused all day.”

Only kind of. It’s been budding inside of him since he woke up before the sun. He had considered touching himself just to get rid of the feeling, but wasn’t sure if Taehyung would be able to hear him and decided not to. 

But it wasn’t anything unbearable, and it had been easy to ignore until Taehyung started kissing his neck. 

“Can you like? Feel emotions too?” Jeongguk groans quietly as his cock twitches with another expert roll of Taehyung’s hips. “Like Hoseok?”

Taehyung sighs into his mouth as Jeongguk digs his fingers into the back of his thigh, right beneath the curve of his ass to pull him down against him. “No. I can sense fear with some. But anything else, only you. ”

Jeongguk can only nod, though he wants to ask more, as Taehyung locks their lips together again and tugs Jeongguk’s shirt up until the bare skin of their stomachs brush against each other. 

“It’s a mate thing,” Taehyung explains with a harsh breath as he pushes up on his hand and uses the other to tug Jeongguk’s thigh around his waist. 

Closing his eyes, Jeongguk tries to savor the feeling of Taehyung grinding down against him because he’s imagined this a thousand times, wanted it. But he finds himself shaking his head, making Taehyung hesitate.

“Please stop calling me that,” Jeongguk murmurs, hands settling against Taehyung’s waist to encourage him to keep going. “It makes me uncomfortable.”

Taehyung sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, eyes wide, but he nods. He stops moving against him, and it takes Jeongguk digging his heel into his back to keep him from moving away completely. 

“I’m still,” Jeongguk starts, reaching up to brush a thumb beneath Taehyung’s black eyes. “Adjusting.”

Taehyung nods again, but he remains completely quiet. Worry fills Jeongguk’s chest before he flips them so he can be the one to crawl over Taehyung and cage his head between his arms. 

“I still want to - this,” Jeongguk murmurs as he brushes the hair that splays over the top of Taehyung’s head. “And the feeding. But - I just can’t explain, I guess -”

Softly, Taehyung cups Jeongguk’s cheeks and presses a kiss to his lips. “You don’t have to explain, I get it. It’s a lot. I’m trying to make it as easy as possible, and if there’s anything you need to make it easier, just tell me.” 

He blinks a few times then, but it does nothing to rid the black of his eyes. He still widens his eyes as much as possible after that though and asks, “Did it work?”

Jeongguk snorts as he layers another kiss to Taehyung’s mouth. “Did what work?” 

A heavy exhale leaves Taehyung’s lips as Jeongguk readjusts their positions to line their crotches again. As Taehyung’s hands slip beneath the back of his shirt, nails so gently scratching up Jeongguk’s back. “My eyes. Do I look like Taehyung now?”

Jeongguk ignores him as he grabs the collar of his shirt and tugs it off. He tucks his face against the curve of his neck, kissing gently.

It makes Taehyung’s nails dig in a little harder, and Jeongguk nuzzles against his skin before he bites down.

Taehyung’s body locks up beneath him, his fingers now breaking into the skin around Jeongguk’s shoulder blades. A sound stutters from his lips, and it makes Jeongguk feel like he’s on fire. 

“Jeongguk,” Taehyung stutters out, his breath hitting against Jeongguk’s cheek as he rocks his hips up against him. “Jeon -”

Jeongguk bites him harder.

It hurts when Taehyung’s fingers fly through his hair to yank on the strands while pushing his head down at the same time. His other hand grasping at Jeongguk’s shoulder, both pushing and pulling like he doesn’t know if he wants Jeongguk off or closer. 

“You always look like you,” Jeongguk murmurs huskily, so achingly hard from how Taehyung’s hands desperately cling onto him. He moves his mouth back to Taehyung’s, wiping his fingers across his bangs to take in the fucked out look on his face. “Black eyes or brown eyes, still Taehyung.”

It’s urgent after that. Teeth clashing, hands roaming, their bodies learning a new kind of dance together.

They fit together just as well, move just as connected. He doesn’t have the same senses as Taehyung, not as advanced, but there’s moments it feels like he does. When the arousal inside of him, the pleasure, feels like it isn’t only his own.

When his lips run down Taehyung’s chest and stomach, there’s a tickle down his own. When he hooks his hands into Taehyung’s joggers and follows the band down with his mouth, he can feel the moan Taehyung lets out. Like it’s vibrating around in his own chest. 

It’s dizzying when Taehyung flips him suddenly, the wind rushing from his lungs as he tries to adjust at moving so quickly. From kissing between Taehyung’s legs to now resting on his back with those legs wrapped around his ribs. A wicked grin on Taehyung’s lips despite the heavy look in his eyes as he pulls his hips back and grinds against Jeongguk’s abdomen.

The veins have returned, but Jeongguk doesn’t feel repulsed by the sight. He’s too turned on, too desperate for Taehyung. It’s probably some form of conditioning, the way anticipation grows inside of Jeongguk at the sight. The stimulus those twisting veins, the response Jeongguk’s neck arching.

The reward Taehyung’s teeth sinking into his skin.

He bypasses his neck, sinking further down Jeongguk’s body to his chest. Mouth a few inches above his nipple. Jeongguk pushes into it, head digging into the mattress at the pleasure that bursts inside of him.

He understands what Taehyung meant about how pleasurable it can be. The tightening in his gut, the way his cock twitches where it’s still confined in his pants, the tension and tremors running through Jeongguk that are usually a telltale sign he’s about to be pushed over the edge.

It’s good, mind-numbing. Like there’s a bundle of nerves in his chest that Taehyung teases, and it’s all Jeongguk can focus on. Mind shifting from thoughts of Taehyung, Taehyung, to tunneling in on where their bodies are connected.

“Fuck,” Taehyung grunts as he pulls off and immediately runs his tongue over the mark left behind. “Fuck, Guk, you taste so good.”

Jeongguk trembles as he grabs Taehyung and pulls him up for a kiss. He’s so sensitive, thighs tightening around Taehyung’s hips, stomach starting to ache from the tension gripping his muscles.

“Touch me, Tae.”

Taehyung moans softly into his mouth. His mouth tastes sweet, nothing like what blood should taste like he thinks mildly. But his attention is pulled away as Taehyung’s hand slips between them to push beneath Jeongguk’s sweatpants.

“Shh,” Taehyung hushes, breath hitting against his ear. “Don’t be so loud, baby.”

Jeongguk isn’t aware that he’s being loud, and he doesn’t give a shit either. He just bites his lip, watching as Taehyung crawls back to tug his sweatpants down. 

God, Jeongguk doesn’t think he’s ever been this aroused. Cock flushed and swollen, smacking wetly against his belly and immediately dribbling precome onto his skin. He grunts as Taehyung runs his hand over him, legs spreading and clenching around him as he moves his hand low and cups his balls.

“Off,” Jeongguk grunts, pushing a knee at Taehyung and nudging his chin towards the pants Taehyung has half down his hips. “Don’t wanna come yet.”

Because he’s going to already, and maybe it’s embarrassing, but Taehyung’s teeth grip a little harder into his bottom lip like it turns him on more. 

Taehyung shakes his head, his breathing labored, and Jeongguk’s once again thankful that he’s taught himself to breathe. “Wanna see you come.”

He touches Jeongguk like he wants it. Only teasing him for a moment after he’s stripped himself of his own pants before he’s taking Jeongguk into his hand and stroking him quickly. Other hand coming down to fondle Jeongguk’s balls as his palm rolls over the head of his cock.

Though he’s shaking so much, Jeongguk isn’t sure he can hold himself up, he sits up to coax Taehyung into a kiss. Feet flat on the bed and legs spread as much as he can, he forces himself not to fuck up into Taehyung’s touch. 

Connected, Jeongguk thinks every time the two of them are together. But he’s still overwhelmed when Taehyung whispers against his mouth before Jeongguk can even register himself that he’s about to come, how Taehyung moves and adjusts to hover his mouth over him the moment he starts to.

Jeongguk’s back bends back as he grips into Taehyung’s neck, body snapping tight as his orgasm washes through him in waves. Taehyung’s mouth suctioning around him, one hand gripping hard into Jeongguk’s thigh to prevent it from squeezing too hard around his head. 

A broken sound leaves Jeongguk’s mouth as he fucks up into Taehyung’s mouth, milking his orgasm. It’s difficult to keep himself propped up, and he fails to when Taehyung pops off and kisses up his tense stomach.

“C’mere,” Jeongguk grunts. It feels like his heart is throbbing in every part of his body, and he wonders if Taehyung can feel it, hear it. It feels like it’s beating so hard every vampire in the entire mansion can hear it. Probably every clan in this archipelago. “C’mere, Tae.”

Jeongguk pushes up on an elbow, grabbing Taehyung’s hip to guide him up his chest. It’s a dance they’ve never done together, but one they fall into well. Bodies adjusting together, Taehyung’s hands moving to one shoulder and the back of Jeongguk’s head like he knows he needs the support. 

Their moans in sync when Jeongguk takes Taehyung into his mouth in return, hands gripping at the back of Taehyung’s thighs to hold him. 

His own cock and body spent, but warmth fills him like he could work himself up again when he hollows his cheeks around Taehyung’s length and feels him press into the back of his throat. Eyes closing when he feels Taehyung twitch in his mouth.

And Taehyung’s silent, that same look in his eyes, but Jeongguk knows it when he’s going to come. Even if he doesn’t buck forward like Jeongguk would if they were in reversed positions.

He pulls off at the same time Taehyung tugs his hair to, hand taking over as he quickly strokes Taehyung’s cock. He keeps his eyes on Taehyung, head bent back so he can watch the way his face twists together in pleasure. 

Eyes squeezing closed, brows pushing together. His mouth falling open around a long, drawn out moan when he comes.

Black eyes, brown eyes, amber eyes, he’s beautiful.

“Oh,” Taehyung huffs, overwhelmed sounding as the fingers in Jeongguk’s hair tug him back a little further. His eyes fly open as he looks down at them, his other hand coming to swat Jeongguk’s away.

He angles his cock and comes all over Jeongguk’s throat and chest.

It makes butterflies erupt in Jeongguk’s stomach, his nerves sparking from just how hungry Taehyung looks as he watches it. So much like a predator, but so gentle when he rubs Jeongguk’s scalp and guides him back. 

“Sorry, I just -”

Jeongguk nods. He already knows. He doesn’t know how but he knows what Taehyung means, what he wants.

He tilts his head to the side as Taehyung’s tongue runs over the sticky skin of his neck a moment before his teeth sink in again.

“So you still want to train?”

Taehyung looks amused, eyes rolling where he stands between Jeongguk’s legs. He gently wipes a warm cloth over Jeongguk’s chest. It doesn’t hurt, but it looks like it should. The purpled bruise spread across his skin, the teeth marks in between it. Taehyung’s mouth perfectly tattooed onto him.

Over his heart. Jeongguk wonders if that was purposeful. 

“Tired you out, I think,” Taehyung murmurs, eyes bright but there’s a hesitancy clinging to them when he glances from the warmth cloth to Jeongguk’s face. “And you should shower. You smell - well, I like it. But I don’t think the others will enjoy how much you smell of come and sweat.”

Jeongguk shrugs, unbothered. He rubs Taehyung’s forearm as Taehyung moves the cloth up to his neck, and that hesitant look in his eyes worsen.

“Taehyung, I’m okay with it,” Jeongguk says as if he’s reading his mind. “I told you to feed.”

Taehyung nibbles on his bottom lip for a moment. “But, I guess I don’t get why you are with that but not other things. Or like, why suddenly.”

Like calling us mates? Jeongguk wonders. But he doesn’t say it, only shrugs. “It feels good, and you need it. You starve yourself, and I don’t like it.”

Taehyung’s eyebrows furrow together. “I don’t.”

“Hoseok told me you should feed at least every two weeks,” Jeongguk tells him, keeping his tone neutral. He can’t see the mess Taehyung’s made of his neck, but it feels nice when Taehyung dabs at his skin. No sting or pain. “And I don’t know about your body, but I think after being poisoned and losing as much blood as you had, you’d need to feed more than once in two weeks.”

Taehyung avoids his eyes as he moves around him to rinse out the cloth and warm it up again. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Okay,” Jeongguk says softly, though that makes him want to talk about it even more. “Can we talk about how often I’ve thought about you sucking my cock before?”

Taehyung grunts, but it works in making his features relax and his eyes brighten some as he stands back in front of Jeongguk. “Yeah? Was it up to the expectations?”

Jeongguk coos softly as he grips Taehyung’s bottom lip gently between his pointer finger and thumb. “Well, your mouth is useful for something else that isn’t talking shit, I see.”

“Fucker,” Taehyung replies, but it’s amused as he swats the cloth against Jeongguk’s neck. “Pretty sure if I didn’t have the strength I did, your thighs would have broken my neck with how hard they clenched together when you came, babe. You love my mouth.”

Humming, Jeongguk nods before he presses a kiss to it. “I like when you talk shit too.”

Taehyung tilts his chin, nudging their mouths, and he’s gentle when he nips at Jeongguk’s bottom lip. “You’re fun to rile up. But I shouldn’t have only ever done that, Guk.” 

It’s a little too serious than their playfulness a moment ago, and Jeongguk let’s Taehyung go to pull back and give him room. Taehyung hesitates for a moment before he presses the cloth to the other side of Jeongguk’s neck. 

“I’m not stroking your ego now either, my hands tired,” Taehyung starts, the corners of his mouth quirking up. “But after I died, I wished often that you knew I chose to stay at the bunker so I could be with you.”

Jeongguk raises a brow, his chest growing warm. He’s too sensitive all over, but his stomach doesn’t care as it shoots off what feels like fricking fireworks in his gut.

“I learned tracking from Namjoon. Actually enough that I would have been able to hunt Jimin on my own,” Taehyung admits, smiling softly before he steps back and gently slaps Jeongguk’s thigh to tell him to get down from the counter. “Namjoon’s words, not me being full of myself.”

Jeongguk takes the cloth, wanting to clean Taehyung too, but he hesitates at the sight of himself. How flushed his body is, the purpled marks across his chest and neck. The way he doesn’t mind the sight of it, nor the blood that swirls down the drain as he cleans the cloth. 

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t go solo. Would have been dumb.”

“Not really. Seeing as Jimin is actually a great guy,” Taehyung murmurs, humor in his tone as he stitches his chest to Jeongguk’s back and winds his arms around his waist.

Jeongguk watches them in the mirror, his heart growing as Taehyung peppers a soft kiss against the curve of his neck. 

He likes the sight more than he’ll admit.

It’s one of the reasons he’s struggling with adjusting to the mate thing. He feels as if it’s a little to blame, some kind of magic thing, that makes Jeongguk so suddenly okay with this. Because even before, when he was angry still, Jeongguk almost let Taehyung bite him. Wanted him to.

And while he is okay with it, Jeongguk would prefer that it’s his own conscious choice. He has to get into the mindset of seeing it as a part of his nature, an instinct, just like everything else. He’s just not there yet. 

He wants to be. 

“Whatever,” Jeongguk grunts, turning around in his arms. “Like I said, I’m adjusting, alright? Jimin’s gonna take awhile.”

Taehyung snorts, but he doesn’t reply as he tilts his chin and let’s Jeongguk clean the blood drying to it. 

It stays quiet after that, though Jeongguk’s mind doesn’t get the hint to shut up. He’s at war with himself, a constant battle going around in his mind. So many things, and he wonders if Taehyung can hear them, or can see it on his face when he starts to gently trace his knuckles over Jeongguk’s face.

When he shakes his head even though Jeongguk hasn’t said anything and takes Jeongguk’s hand into his own to kiss it. 

“Take your time, Guk,” he whispers, lips tickling his palm. 

There’s nothing on the database about nightshade. Jeongguk searches for what feels like hours each day, constantly refreshing the message boards and Namjoon’s files. Despite it being a trend, Jeongguk finds nothing. 

He doesn’t mention it when he talks to Namjoon, and it makes him feel wrong. Like he’s switching sides. He tries not to think that way, but he does. When he talks to Namjoon and leaves it out, when he lays in bed with Taehyung and kisses beneath his black eyes.

When he cooks with Hoseok and listens to Hoseok talk about being a vampire without there being that curl of disgust in his stomach. Talking about supernatural abilities and living forever without that feeling of wrong inside of him. Like it’s something he’s always done. 

Every time he arches his neck and coaxes Taehyung into feeding. Or when he walks in on someone with Matthew and barely registers it like he’s been around it his entire life except having lived the exact opposite way. 

When anyone from the clan leaves, and Jeongguk feels relief when they return unscatched. Thoughts of how he hopes a hunter doesn’t get them next when he’s lived his life wanting to wipe out every vampire in existence. 

The way his mind constantly reminds him that before, Jeongguk could have easily killed any of them and not remember their face afterwards. 

“Your hyung is tracking a vampire named Kim Seungbo,” Jin announces as he drops a manila folder on the table in front of Jeongguk. “Solo mission. He called me about it this morning.”

Jeongguk looks up from the closed file, and at Jin as he sits across from him. “Are you going to tell me about you and hyung?”

His heart is racing. He knows Jin can hear it even if he tries to calm it. He doesn’t have to open those files to know what the vampire looks like, even if the memory of his face has faded. He tries his best not to react just in case Namjoon hasn’t shared why he’s looking for him with Jin.

“Not much to say. I met him during a raid. Got the upperhand on him. Forced him not to kill me,” Jin says simply, casually. “Told him he was idiotic for coming into a nest alone, but I could tell he didn’t care. I wanted to know why.”

Jin pokes the folder a few times, nudging it into the bowl Jeongguk’s currently dipping a spoon into. “Told me his boyfriend died. Wanted revenge. I offered to help him.”

Guilt fills Jeongguk’s stomach so much he has no more room for food. He shoves the bowl to the side, swallowing his last bite which feels stuck in his throat. “This isn’t his ex. He’s for sure dead.”

At this point, Jeongguk actually wouldn’t be surprised if Namjoon’s ex had survived. He barely made it out of that raid alive himself and didn’t stick around to try and get his body out like they usually do. 

“Well, I figured. This man’s quite old,” Jin says, blinking a few times. “And Namjoon’s last known location of the man was about ten years ago. Which means he was a minor. I have a feeling he’s someone from your original commune.” 

Jeongguk tightens his leg muscles to keep it from shaking beneath the table. “Why are you telling me this?”

Jin gives him a pointed look before he flips open the file like he’s annoyed Jeongguk hasn’t yet. “I’ve been giving Namjoon information on vampires for my own personal agenda. To have them killed. Those a part of my original clan, those who turned a blind eye to what my alpha was doing. Those who believe it’s okay to sell their dhampirs to so called ‘vampire scientists.’ In exchange, I give Namjoon information on clans or alphas he’s hunting. Most, of course. He doesn’t know anything about my clan.” 

The images in the file are a lot different than the shitty street footage saved to the database. They’re clearer, but Jeongguk should have known who it was anyway. He grew up around the man, lived with him for most of his life. 

“So he asked me about this one,” Jin says, tapping on the familiar face. “Kim Seungbo. He’s a good man as far as I know. Has a lot of the same rules as us. No feeding unless there’s consent. He goes to different hospitals to take away pain of suffering patients. Giving dying ones moments of peace before they go. Don’t really feel like telling Namjoon that I know him.”

Jeongguk’s heart clenches in his chest. He isn’t eating anymore but he still feels like he may choke. “Okay. So why are you telling me?”

Jin is quiet for a moment as he licks over his teeth, his upper lip bulging from his tongue pressing there. “I can tell by the pace of your heart that you know why he’s looking for him. I want to know. Am I right, and he’s from your commune?”

There’s a defensiveness clinging to Jin’s words, gripping to his features. Jeongguk pulls the file closer to him, studying it like he doesn’t already know who it is. He hasn’t seen him since before he went to the Academy, and he wasn’t there when Namjoon and Jeongguk visited their commune to find it destroyed.

Namjoon thought he was one that had escaped whoever raided it. Survived. 

“I’m not telling you,” Jeongguk says simply, attention catching at the entrance to the dining room where Taehyung appears. “If Namjoon hasn’t, I’m not.”

Jeongguk had presented the question to Namjoon, what he would if he ever found out his sister was living as a vampire. He really never thought it would be a situation Namjoon would be faced with other than Taehyung, and he wonders why Namjoon didn’t tell him this.

After opening up to him (kind of) about Hoseok and his uncertainties, he would have thought Namjoon would do the same. 

“He’s a friend,” Jin says, rougher this time. “I’m going to alert him to the fact that Namjoon is hunting him. Some vampires strike first, remember? Survival.”

Jeongguk’s stomach is in knots, and he tries not to look at Taehyung when he walks further into the kitchen. “If he kills Namjoon, I’ll make it my goal to personally kill him myself.”

Jin rolls his eyes. “I’ll kill you before you get the chance. Do you want to do this back and forth shit? Because I don’t.” He holds up a hand at Taehyung, whose mouth is parted, anger in his eyes. “Save it. I know. Tell your mate to answer me, damnnit.”

“Don’t,” Taehyung warns, but he’s gentle in the way he taps Jin in the back of his head. “I told you guys to stop calling him that.”

Jeongguk hesitates, glancing away from them. It makes him feel odd, out of balance. “There’s a reason Namjoon didn’t tell you, I’m sure.”

“It’s his father,” Taehyung says, touching the file and sliding it back to Jin. “He’s been looking for his parents since I met him. Before then probably”

Anger fills Jeongguk, but Taehyung looks unbothered as he sits down between them. Surprise fills Jin’s face, but Jeongguk focuses on Taehyung, wanting to cuss him out for going against him.

“Namjoon knew it was a possibility he could be a vampire. His parents’ disappearance was odd. No contact at all? With their only surviving child?” Taehyung explains, finally looking at him. “I told you before, Jeon, I don’t think hyung would struggle much with my current state because he’s always prepared himself to find his parents like this.”

The anger inside of Jeongguk only worsens, but it feels more like hurt and guilt. That Namjoon would never tell him these things, that Jeongguk never really gave him the chance anyway. He’s hiding stuff from Namjoon right now, similar things, and he knows he’s a hypocrite, but he can’t help the emotion that fills him. 

It makes sense that Namjoon wouldn’t tell him about this, and that anger Jeongguk has angles towards himself. 

But it makes him sad too because Namjoon told him he doesn’t know yet if he thinks vampires remain who they once were. 

“I think you can trust him,” Taehyung goes on, looking away from Jeongguk’s eyes as he gives the file back to Jin. “What did he say when you told him you spotted Jeongguk?”

“As I expected,” Jin goes on as if there isn’t steam coming out of Jeongguk’s ears. “Denied it. Told me he was dead. That Youngho watched it happen.”

Taehyung cracks his neck to the side, eyeing Jeongguk apprehensively again as he nods. “He hasn’t asked about me, has he?”

Jeongguk hesitates at that, his angry thoughts faltering for a moment as a thought full of exclamation marks sneak into his mind. 

“No. Your mind control has approved, young grasshopper,” Jin replies, a grin on his lips. “Youngho only remembers that the most dashing man he’s ever seen in his life took young Jeon’s.”

Jeongguk stands up then, making the table rattle. “Can we not talk about this like it’s a game?”

Taehyung reaches across the table, fingers hesitantly touching Jeongguk’s bare hand. He hasn’t worn his rings since Taehyung was injured, and he’s feeling like putting them on now.

But he accepts Taehyung’s hand and threads their fingers together. 

“I’m sorry if I came off that way,” Taehyung says before looking pointedly at Jin. Jin nods but it seems reluctant. “I understand why you don’t want hyung to find his father, but it’ll be good for him. Closure.”

“Or it’ll break his heart,” Jeongguk says as he sits back in his seat. 

Taehyung’s lips rub together, making them turn into thin lines. “Not knowing has already done that. You know his hate isn’t as strong as yours.”

Jeongguk bites the inside of his cheek as he leans back in his chair, eyes landing on where his and Taehyung’s hands are connected. He touches the wrinkles over Taehyung’s knuckles, sighing. “Was. As strong as mine was.” 

Clearly, more than Jeongguk had even realized. Namjoon working with vampires and not telling him. Knowing surely he wouldn’t be able to pull the trigger on a vampire he once knew when Jeongguk was so confident he’d be able to kill the person he loved almost as much as Namjoon. It’s that hate Jeongguk’s had that made it so Namjoon could never tell him these things.

He thinks about it, wonders how many times he talked about killing Jimin with Taehyung in front of Namjoon. If Namjoon thought about his parents then. If it upset him, but he kept that to himself. 

There’s a sick twist in Jeongguk’s stomach when he thinks about how, before, he would have killed them with only a few seconds of hesitation after finding out what they’ve become.

“Your hate is only diminished with Taehyung and Hoseok,” Jin says with an eye roll. “You can claim to be over it when it goes away for the entire species. When you judge them as an individual and not because of what they are.” 

“I’d dislike you no matter what you were,” Jeongguk shoots back, but there’s little bite to it. Taehyung snorts, squeezing Jeongguk’s fingers. 

Jin grins, amusement in his eyes. “That’s not true.”

“You wanted to kill me when I got here,” Jeongguk reminds him. “Hard to get past that.”

Jin shrugs as he taps the file on the table a few times. “And you wanted to kill us in return. Let bygones be bygones, young one. We’re clan mates now. Clan mates that are working on something together.” He makes a face like he’s surprised, lips pushed out and forming an ‘o’ as his eyebrows shoot up beneath his bangs. “Which is what we should be focusing on. Next time you speak with Namjoon, tell me if he mentions you being spotted, alright?”

He stands then, and Jeongguk feels annoyed that he’s right though they aren’t clan mates. 

As soon as Jeongguk can, he still wants to leave. 

It’s quiet when Jin leaves, and Jeongguk wants to go back to eating his food so Taehyung won’t be concerned, but he doesn’t think his stomach can handle it. Taehyung at least knows to give him the silence, only rubbing his knuckles here and there as they sit at the table.

Before Taehyung died, they would lay in silence in bed together. Nights where Taehyung or the both of them couldn’t sleep. When Jeongguk did, he wonders if Taehyung ever laid there while he had a nightmare. If he interrupted the quiet of the night with his labored, panicked breathing.

If Taehyung feels the same way about the night as Jeongguk, about how it’s a time that allows for bad thoughts to flood one’s mind. If it’s still that way now that Taehyung’s used to being awake in the night.

“Has Namjoon really been working with Jin for that long?” 

Taehyung doesn’t seem surprised by the sudden sound of Jeongguk’s brow. He looks away from their hands to look Jeongguk in the eye when he nods. “Yeah. Every time he got something wrong, it was Jin’s fault. Namjoon just trusted him that much to take his word for it. Jin was only wrong because there were a few vampires that suspected him to be a traitor, lied to him. But he was usually right.” 

Jeongguk leans his head back against the chair so the curved top digs into the back of his neck. “And I just trusted him enough to never push to know or assume it was anyone other than another hunter.”

“Does it matter?” It’s gentle, but it still makes Jeongguk flinch. “If it was a vampire or a hunter? It was still help.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Jeongguk sighs, closing his eyes. Maybe it was. Habit, bias, something. He doesn’t know, but it’s not what he’s trying to think or say at least. “I just never knew any of this, and it’s just - not connecting to the concepts I already have in my head.”

Taehyung sighs as his chair legs scrape across the ground. He looms over Jeongguk a moment, their hands unclasping before he wraps his arms around him. Forearms crossed over Jeongguk’s chest, he presses a kiss to Jeongguk’s forehead and then the bridge of his nose.

“Namjoon’s always had quite the dilemma when it came to the path his parents paved for him,” Taehyung murmurs quietly, the tips of their noses nudging. “You know he didn’t just stay behind the scenes just because he preferred to? But because he hated fighting.”

Jeongguk squeezes his eyebrows between two fingers, and Taehyung gently pulls his hand away and kisses between them until they unwrinkle. “He has to now. Fight.”

Taehyung nods as he pulls away. Jeongguk doesn’t want him to even if the back of his neck is starting to hurt. “It might be good if he reconnects with his father. From what Jin says, he’s a really great guy.”

“Of course he is,” Jeongguk says, tapping his fingers on the table as he watches Taehyung walk away. “He raised the best guy I know.”

Before Taehyung can leave, he twists around to walk towards the door backwards. “Am I second?”

Jeongguk shakes his head. “Hoseok.”

The smile leaves Taehyung’s lips but remains in his eyes as he lifts his hand to flick Jeongguk off. “Fuck you, Jeon.”

“Tonight. It’s a date.”

He likes how big Taehyung’s smile gets and the way he tries to keep it from taking over his face just to fail at doing so. He doesn’t say anything, just pats the door frame a few times, lingering about like he might. 

But all he does is nod, lips pressed tightly together as he fails not to smile before walking off. 

“I’m really happy for you. Insanely. You should have seen how grossed out Yoongi was when you started moaning. It was hilarious. I got a picture of it, if you want to see.”

Heat warms its way to Jeongguk’s face, but he doesn’t comment. He continues his set, counting in his head every time his feet bounce from the ground. 

In the moment, he hadn’t cared if someone heard him. But he also didn’t expect anyone to bring it up if they had. He should have known Hoseok would. 

“I thought it was sweet,” Hoseok says where he leans against the wall. It reminds Jeongguk of the breaks Taehyung would take when they worked out together, the time Jeongguk told Taehyung there was nothing left of Jimin inside of him. Just a monster. “Though, I am sorry. Alpha did a number on your neck.”

Jeongguk drops his jump rope, panting as he settles his hands on his hips instead. It’s been a few days, and his neck still hasn’t healed. The bruise on his chest is starting to yellow, but the mark is still there. “Can’t you like? Turn your hearing off?”

Hoseok snickers as he brings his legs up to fiddle with the holes over his knees. “I promise I wasn’t listening in. But I’m pretty sure even humans could hear you -”

Jeongguk waves him off, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. He hears Hoseok call after him before the echoes of his feet hitting the ground as he runs over to him fill the room.

Lately, the others in the clan have been making noise. Moving around where Jeongguk can hear them, tell when they’re coming, when normally they move silently. Jeongguk knows it’s for his sake, and he doesn’t know if he’s appreciative or if he feels pitied. 

“It’s cute,” Hoseok giggles, grabbing for Jeongguk’s shoulders. He flicks him in the side of the neck. “Look how far you’ve come. I’m proud of you.”

Jeongguk unwraps the bands from his hands. Hoseok makes it really hard to ignore him, though he doesn’t really want to. “You’re making me regret it.”

Hoseok huffs at that and flicks him harder. “You love me. I’m kidding. You must have been quiet today. I didn’t hear you.”

“I haven’t seen Taehyung today,” Jeongguk tells him, covering his neck with an unwrapped hand just in case Hoseok tries to flick him a third time. He wishes Hoseok would stop openly discussing his sex life. 

It’s odd that it doesn’t hurt. With how it looks, Jeongguk had anticipated for his skin to be very sore and tender. But if he didn’t look at himself in the mirror, he’d never know they were there.

Hoseok makes a face as he pulls away. “That’s a fresh bite.” 

“It’s from like four days ago.”

Before Jeongguk can reach the door to the gym, Hoseok twists in front of him and gets in his way. His lips are pulled down in a frown as he crosses his arms. 

“What?” Jeongguk asks.

“There’s no way that’s from four days ago,” Hoseok argues. “You’re serious aren’t you? Not just saying that?”

Jeongguk fills with hesitation and confusion at the seriousness in Hoseok’s eyes before he nods. “Yeah?”

He wishes he didn’t say anything when Hoseok grabs his head and tilts it to the side like he’s inspecting his neck. He does one side for a few seconds before tilting his head to look at the other side. “Both of these?”

Jeongguk nods as he pulls aside the collar of his V-neck to show the one on his chest. “This too.”

“Huh,” Hoseok huffs, hands going to his hips. He looks truly puzzled. “They should have healed after a few hours. Even sooner because he’s your m word .”

That’s also new amongst the clan. No one referring to him as Taehyung’s mate and only as his name, though Yoongi still likes to throw ‘hunter’ around. Hoseok still slips up, but Hoseok gets away with anything. He’s also the only one other than Taehyung that Jeongguk’s never minded broke his no touching rule.

“He’s not my m word ,” Jeongguk says, side stepping Hoseok to leave. Or he tries to, but Hoseok gets in his way again. “It would be my luck that the one vampire ability that doesn’t work on me is the speedy healing part.”

A laugh blurts from Hoseok’s lips. “That would be funny. Karma.”

It isn’t really, but Jeongguk still grins at himself. “Is there a reason you’re keeping me from leaving?”

Hoseok tries to look innocent, but Jeongguk’s been onto him since he joined him in the gym. He never does, only ever Taehyung, but he had lingered about and even worked out beside him some.

And now he’s not letting Jeongguk leave.

“No,” Hoseok replies as if it’s ridiculous. He laughs awkwardly, making a face at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes and attempts to nudge Hoseok aside, who decides for once to use his strength against him and barely budges. “Why are you keeping an eye on me?” 

Another awkward laugh, this time paired with a frantic head shake that Jeongguk can see right through. “I’m not watching you? You’re a grown man. Well built too. Really bulky. Hard. I mean - your body, not your - well, I hope it isn’t -”

“Move, Hoseok,” Jeongguk grunts, pushing a little harder until Hoseok actually moves enough for Jeongguk to fit through the door. 

“Okay, there’s a guest here,” Hoseok blurts out, yanking on Jeongguk’s shirt sleeve. He even sinks down, knees bending as if he is struggling to pull Jeongguk back. “An alpha.”

Jeongguk pulls against Hoseok’s grip until he hears the shirt ripping. He wiggles his arm until Hoseok’s letting go and falling to his butt. “They’re in the conference room, no? I’m just going to my hallway.”

He doesn’t spare Hoseok’s cringing face more than a glance before he takes off before Hoseok can stop him again. 

They’ve started spreading the word that Jeongguk’s alive through the communes. Namjoon’s yet to mention Jin spotting him, but he brought up Jeongguk’s activity in the database. He figured Namjoon would be able to tell he was in there, so he started posting on different message boards.

So far, Jeongguk’s had a great welcome. People sending him messages of support, nice comments about how they’re happy he isn’t actually dead, that he’s back. He’s never interacted with many hunters, and he’s surprised by how many people know him.

He knew he was well known, but it had really thrown him off just how much. 

If a vampire spots him here, it may be reason enough for Taehyung to switch their location. Move them somewhere else where Jeongguk can find a way to reach a commune. He’s had invitations from many that if he needs somewhere to go, he’s welcome.

“You just smell so strong,” Hoseok wheezes under his breath behind him, his feet no longer making noise as he walks. “Like, I’m sorry to say this, but you fucking smell so much.”

Jeongguk makes a noise of disbelief. “I showered this morning.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Hoseok says like he’s tired, grabbing for Jeongguk once more before he can leave the hallway. “Wait, wait.”

Pressing his face into Jeongguk’s shoulder, Hoseok groans and mumbles something Jeongguk can’t make out.

Jeongguk shakes him off, and he hears Hoseok’s soft cuss before he walks out into the living room.

Apparently, Taehyung has decided to not have their guest in the conference room. Jeongguk only hesitates for a step, wondering if it was a good idea to want a vampire to spot him. But he composes himself, tilts his chin a little higher and decides not to pretend like he doesn’t see anything.

He walks up behind where Taehyung sits rigidly and curls his hand on the couch behind him. The vampire sits directly across from him, eyes an orange brown instead of black. He’s by himself there with Yoongi and Jimin on either side of the couches. 

All eyes land on him except for Taehyung, who only falters in his speech for a second before he continues. The vampire seems curious while Jimin looks a bit panicked.

Yoongi, as always, looks at him like he hates him.

“- it took me about two weeks to recover. I still don’t feel up to my full strength,” Taehyung says, and Jeongguk can’t help the way he moves his hand over the shoulder to rest there instead.

He breathes in through his nose slowly, keeping his heart from jumping. He has accepted he’s safe here, that the others in the clan aren’t going to hurt him, aren't a danger to him. But Jeongguk feels that old fight or flight filling him as his eyes meet the stranger. 

Or, just the fight response.

Taehyung reaches up, fingers rubbing over the ones Jeongguk lays over his shoulder, but he keeps speaking about being poisoned. 

He falters though when the vampire refuses to look at him again.

“Have you never seen a human before, Donghun-ssi?”

The room tenses when Donghun’s eyes flicker black but nobody moves. Jeongguk refuses to look away, to falter in his stance. To give the impression he’s afraid or weak. 

Because in a room full of vampires, and despite what Taehyung says, Jeongguk may be the weakest, but he refuses to let anyone see it. He’s always determined to prove them wrong, but he doesn’t know anything about this vampire. He could be an ancient. 

“A mate,” Donghun says, quirking an eyebrow as he leans back and hooks an arm over the back of the couch. If he’s trying to look curious instead of predatory, he fails. 

Jeongguk really hates the word, and he’s sure that’s what it must look like. With the way he stands behind Taehyung, the marks on his neck. He means to pull his hand away, but Taehyung presses his fingers into his to stop him.

“You’ve done well in hiding his scent, Alpha Taehyung. Almost can’t tell it’s Jeon Jeongguk.” 

 Someone growls in warning, but Jeongguk doesn’t look to see who. 

“It isn’t,” Taehyung starts, but Donghun interrupts him with a laugh. 

“I’m not an idiot,” he says, shaking his head as he leans forward to rest his elbows to his spread knees. “You made it clear any vampire that strikes the hunter is an enemy of yours. Word spread of his death but not of the vampire who has killed him. You are not at war with any clan that I know of? It’s caused quite a bit of suspicion across the clans.”

Taehyung doesn’t respond at first, even when Donghun gives him a questioning cock of his head. It’s so tense that Jeongguk doesn’t need Hoseok’s ability to read emotions to know how everyone is feeling. Defensive.

“His clan attacked my nest,” Donghun goes on, gesturing towards Jeongguk. “Killed friends of mine. People I’ve known longer than you’ve been alive. And you say you’re my ally.”

“Not my clan,” Jeongguk replies despite the nail Taehyung digs into his knuckle. “I’ve always been a loner.”

Donghun’s composed look slips from his face, and now he looks pissed. His upper lip curls back, teeth bared, but he doesn’t move when Taehyung holds up a hand.

“We are allies, but that will change easily. If you think this is my mate, then you know I’d fight against anyone in this room for him,” Taehyung says, his tone casual though he is rigid beneath Jeongguk’s hand. “That was not his commune. If it was, they would have at least made sure I wasn’t a human held hostage before shooting me multiple times. As you remember, Jeongguk and I were hunters together.”

The black eyes remain, though Donghun rests back against the couch like he’s relaxed. 

“If you speak word of his location or that you’ve seen him at all, you will no longer have the aid of myself or my clan,” Taehyung goes on, and there’s a muttering of agreement around them. Jeongguk knows it’s out of loyalty to Taehyung than himself, but he kind of wants to stick his tongue out at the vampire. “And you need our aid, Alpha Donghun.” 

Donghun looks aggravated as he rubs at his upper lip. “Fine. But not many believe the infamous Jeongguk is actually dead. You won’t be able to keep this charade up for long.”

Please go, please go.

Jeongguk tenses when the thought enters his mind. He at first doesn’t realize Taehyung hasn’t said it out loud, but he starts to speak at the same time.

“There are few vampires that will risk ever having a war with my clan,” Taehyung says confidently. Jeongguk, please go . “And even less that would have any chance of surviving said war. Thank you for your concern, but I don’t share it. Those who seek their revenge on Jeongguk simply do because they have a death wish.”

Jeongguk, please I’m begging you.

Casually, Taehyung takes his hand away from Jeongguk’s, but Jeongguk doesn’t move it. He thinks it would look cowardly for him to depart from the room even if there’s no reason for him to be here. He has no care for vampire politics nor their agenda. He doesn’t have a wish to hear about how much this vampire or everyone else wants him dead. 

Though he can’t stop thinking about what Donghun said about losing people he’s known for longer than Taehyung has been alive. The only person he’s known close to that amount of time is Namjoon, and he’d kill anyone who hurt him. Vampire, human, whatever.

“You’re strong, but you aren’t invincible,” Donghun says, finally glancing away from Jeongguk but only because Jin walks into the room. He must feel how Jeongguk used to, weak and outnumbered. “You also don’t turn anyone, which is the only reason people wish not to become enemies with you. Your blood could create the next strongest vampire, Taehyung. There is a rumor that it’s been Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk tenses at that, looking down at Taehyung, but he can’t see his face. He ignores the hand Jin presses to his shoulder, though he wonders if Taehyung called for him mentally.

“Unfortunately, I prefer being the strongest,” Taehyung says, and he sounds amused. “But that may change with time. As you like to remind me, I’m a young one. But I am in my terrible twos, so I suggest those who have a problem stay away from me. Might throw a tantrum.”

Jin adds a little pressure to Jeongguk’s arm, but Jeongguk doesn’t budge. 

“Excuse me, alpha,” Jin says, bowing to Taehyung. “I need to borrow Jeongguk for a minute. The package came in a box covered in silver.”

Jeongguk glares at him, but Jin avoids looking at him as Taehyung nods. 

He twists around then, patting Jeongguk’s hand. He doesn’t communicate with him out loud, but in his head again.

Please, Jeongguk.

It’s in his eyes too. Jeongguk grinds his teeth, but he nods. Gives in. He’s always trusted Taehyung as a partner because of how good his instinct is. 

“It was not a pleasure to meet you,” Jeongguk says because he can’t fight the urge not to before he let’s Jin guide him towards the staircase. 

He keeps his aggravation quiet until they’ve entered the familiar hallway, and he shrugs Jin off. “Don’t need to escort me.”

“Donghun is very strong, and he lost two of his clan. One who has been with him for nearly two hundred years,” Jin explains as he puts his hand into his pocket as if to show he won’t touch Jeongguk again. “We did not stay and fight but fled the moment Taehyung went down. We need to be careful in getting him back on our side and the sight of you isn’t going to help with that.”  

Jeongguk bites his tongue. He’s not going to hide away in his room again. As much as he finds comfort in this hallway because it’s usually only him here, like his own personal space, it can feel suffocating when he feels he has to be here. 

“Maybe if you guys put me in the loop of things,” he starts, nostrils flaring, but he doesn’t finish. He doesn’t know if he actually wants to be in the loop of things, torn between hating that he stands out like someone who doesn’t belong and at the same time not wanting to belong anyway. 

Jin looks amused at that. “Precautions. Taehyung has trusted you with the database, to be the only one who accesses it. But not all of us trust that you won’t expose everything we’re doing.”

Jeongguk nods, annoyed again because he gets it. He understands, and he even agrees. He too would take the same kind of precautions if the roles were reversed. “Leave me alone now.”

“My pleasure,” Jin says, clapping Jeongguk’s shoulder gently. “Just one thing. Has Namjoon mentioned you being spotted yet?”

“No,” Jeongguk says. “But I doubt he’s going to tell me he’s in communication with a vampire.”

Jin nods, his expression considerate. “Perhaps. I still find it unusual, though. You would warn Namjoon if a vampire had his eyes on him, no?”

Once again, Jin is right. Jeongguk nods as he crosses his arms, feeling a little stubborn in not wanting to admit to the thoughts in his head, but he makes himself. “Guess that means he trusts you.”

Jin pats his chest proudly, and Jeongguk shakes his head in disbelief before he walks away and towards his room without another word.

Chapter Text

“Can you read my thoughts?”

There is a look of surprise on Taehyung’s face when he whips around as if he hadn’t heard Jeongguk approach or enter the conference room. He sits at the head again, but unlike the first time Jeongguk was here, there’s a table in front of Taehyung and the rest of the room is empty. 

“What?” Taehyung asks, brows furrowing as Jeongguk takes a seat beside him. He wonders who sits here, who Taehyung considers his right hand in the hierarchy sense of things. 

“The thing you do? Speaking in my head?” Jeongguk says, waving at his forehead. “Can you also hear my thoughts?” 

He furrows his brows too, his scrunched face mirroring Taehyung’s as he tries to think loudly. He doesn’t know how it happens, how he can tell it’s Taehyung’s voice when the voice in his head doesn’t change. He can recognize different ones, but it’s more like a sense than actually different than his own mind’s voice. 

Taehyung presses his lips together, eyebrows rising. He looks amused, but Jeongguk only glares a little harder.

“If I can, I haven’t learned how.” Taehyung laughs as he reaches up to rub at Jeongguk’s cheeks, squishing them beneath his fingers. “I can get a sense of things when I speak to you, but not thoughts really. It’s mostly just in dreams. Close your eyes.”

Jeongguk hesitates, but he lets his eyes fall closed. Trust or something. 

For a few seconds, there’s nothing. Just Jeongguk’s confused thoughts and the sounds of their breathing. Then everything disappears, and all Jeongguk sees is blue.

He tries to remind himself that he didn’t transport somewhere, that he’s sitting in the conference room with Taehyung, but it feels so real. The heat bearing down onto him, the sun in his eyes. The smell of salt water. The sand clinging to his wet toes. 

The body that collides into his, slippery and cold against him compared to the heat around them. Taehyung’s boxy grin is all he sees before the world tilts, and his stomach is pressed against Taehyung’s shoulder as Taehyung runs him into the water.

He wonders briefly if he could stay underwater like this, in his head, but he emerges to see Taehyung looming above him. So real and beautiful in front of him. His face jewelry is back, his skin no longer clear and smooth. Jeongguk wonders if he touches beneath his jaw, if he’ll feel his pulse again. 

“Does the sun burn you?” Jeongguk asks as Taehyung wraps around him, legs and arms around him beneath the water. “Or just weaken you?”

“Just weaken,” Taehyung replies as he looks up, squinting at the bright sky. “You know that feeling your skin gets when you’ve realized your sunburnt? It feels like that all the time.”