Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

9:30 pm
sonic has has added 🅱️ones and 19 others to chat: Class 1-A

Sonic: I have created this chat to tell you all

Sonic: The grapist has been expelled

Floaty: hell yeah

Aux cord: who was that who just ran down the hall blasting ding dong the witch is dead

🅱️ones: It was Kaminari

Free charger: Wow way to call me out Midoriya :/

🅱️ones: Oh I didn’t actually know I just guessed

Assid: you’re just that predictable Kami

Lord explosion murder: WILL YOU FUCKERS STOP BLOWING UP MY PHONE

Rock hard: he’s just mad because it’s past his bedtime

Lord explosion murder: You’re lucky I love you

Rock hard: Awww love you too <3

Lord explosion murder: ….. <3

Free charger changed Lord explosion murder’s name to Angry pomeranian

Angry pomeranian: you fucker

Flex tape: oh shit its all lowercase Denki RUN

Free charger: HES RIGHT BEHIND ME

Free charger: vnfekjb ifebvvbnjtr

Assid: Rip in pieces

Sonic: Bakugo no murder in the dorms!

Floaty: I’m just imagining him doing the arm choppy thing

Murkrow: What a mad banquet of darkness

Tentacool: Fumi we’ve talked about this

John cena: oh? Fumi?

Assid: Is there something going on there?( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Murkrow: no…….

[REDACTED] has added Darkshadow to the chat

Darkshadow: He’s lying

Tired (of y’all): we know darkshadow

Murkrow: How were you even added to the chat?

Darkshadow: I Have My Ways :^)

Flex tape changed Darkshadow’s name to cryptid

Flex tape: Hmmm don’t like that ::::/

Angry pomeranian: Fucking Vriska kin

🅱️ones: you’re telling me you’ve read homestuck kacchan?

Angry pomeranian: Ejirou kept calling me Karkat and I wanted to know what it meant

🅱️ones: understandable have a nice day

Free charger: I lived bitch

Free charger: now back to your regularly scheduled memes

Free charger: https://f4.bcbits.com/img/a3513054600_10.jpg

Hand crusher: what’s a meme?

Free charger: you wound me

Flex tape: Me and Denki are coming over to teach you the ways of meme

Hand crusher: oh no

Sonic: *Denki and I

Flex tape changed Sonic’s name to Grammar police

Grammar police: That’s fair

John cena: anyway you’ve been awfully quiet @MOMo, @Twilight sparkle, @Kermit, @Not a furry, @Disney princess, @Sugar daddy

Not a furry: fuck she’s onto us

Twilight sparkle: :^)

Aux cord: Momo’s not feeling great rn

Kermit: I’ve just been lurking

Sugar daddy: Same, y’all are funny

Disney princess: ╰(✿´⌣`✿)╯

Floaty: @Everyone The rumour come out: does Koda is baby?

Angry pomeranian: Did you really have to @ everyone for that?

Angry pomeranian: (also yes, yes he does)

Floaty: The people needed to know

Angry pomeranian: understandable have a nice day

Chapter Text

5:35 pm
Class 1-A chat

Free charger: @Everyone we should have a disney marathon in the common room

Grammar police: As long as we don’t stay up too late i’m okay with it

Sugar daddy: I can make snacks

Not a furry: i’ll set up the blanket fort

Flex tape: hell yeah!

Flex tape: what movies should we watch?

MOMo: How about Mulan?

Floaty: mulan is honestly the best disney movie from before tangled

Disney princess: can we watch snow white?

Free charger: of course we can

Murkrow: we should watch the nightmare before christmas

Disney princess: I've never seen that one, is it scary? (◕︿◕✿)

Murkrow: no it’s not too scary

Disney princess: ok (◕‿◕✿)

Assid: we gotta watch brave too

Free charger: I think we’ve got a pretty good list here

Angry pomeranian: I’m not coming to your shitty movie marathon

Rock hard: please :(

Angry pomeranian: …...fine

Hand crusher: I don’t think i’ve seen any of those

🅱️ones: how haven't you seen mulan?

Hand crusher: endeavor

🅱️ones: Fuck endeavor

5:45 pm
Assid added floaty and 5 others to operation tododeku

Assid: we gotta get todoroki and mido together

Floaty: yeah their endless pining is killing me

Floaty: there’s only so much ranting about a dude a lesbian can take you know?

MOMo: I know exactly what you mean, Todoroki is constantly telling be about “how pretty his
eyes are” and “how hot he is when they spar”

Assid: these boys are more oblivious than bakuhoe and kirishima were

Assid: ok now back to the plotting

Twilight sparkle: we could try to do it during the disney marathon

Kermit: isn’t much time to plan but I think we can pull it off

Aux cord: we could just make them sit next to each other like we did for baku mcsplode and kirishima

Assid: lmao baku mcsplode i’m gonna call him that next time I see him

John cena: anyway jirou’s right if it ain’t broke don’t fix it

MOMo: so everyone's good with this plan?

Assid: yeah

Floaty: yup

Twilight sparkle: oui~

Kermit: kero

Aux cord: yeah but did tsu really just ribbit in the chat?

John cena: yes she did (i’m cool with the plan)

MOMo: operation tododeku is a go

5:58 pm
Class 1-A chat

Free charger: so heres the full list of movies we’re watching, Mulan, princess and the frog, brave, nightmare before christmas, snow white, and moana

Hand crusher: wow i’ve only seen one of those and it was because my brother took us out to see it when endeavor was at work

Flex tape: that’s sad todobroki

Free charger: very sad

1:30 am

Floaty: tododeku.png

Floaty: they fell asleep cuddling :)

John cena: aww

John cena: we should go to bed now tho it’s 1:35

Floaty: yeah, goodnight hagakure

John cena: goodnight uraraka

Chapter Text

11:37 am
Class 1-A chat

🅱️ones: avdwbvhefsibv u R AR A K A

Floaty: yes? :)

🅱️ones: I can’t fuckin move please help

🅱️ones: he’s adorable as hell and i’m super gay but i’m losing feeling to my arm

Floaty: you do know he can see this right

🅱️ones: well I guess this is how I die

🅱️ones: not at the hands of a villain but my own gay panic

Floaty: well i’d hope its not somebody else's gay panic that kills you

🅱️ones: now's not the time or jokes uraraka, can you please help me

Floaty: fiiiiiiine im coming

🅱️ones: thank you

11:56

Hand crusher: Midoriya? I had no idea you felt this way

Hand crusher: I feel the same

🅱️ones: Will you go out with me?

Hand crusher: of course

Floaty has added tired (of y’all) to the chat

Floaty: see it's that easy @Not a furry, @Tired (of y’all)

Not a furry: u r a r a k a is that who i think it is

Floaty: yeah, i’m just saying

Floaty: y’all aren't as subtle as you think you are

Floaty: anyway https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Free charger: i can’t believe i actually clicked on that wow

Floaty: you’re online?

Free charger: yeah i've just been lurking along with half of the class

Floaty: understandable

12:05 pm
Operation tododeku

Assid: HELL Y E AH

John cena: we don't have to deal with their oblivious pining anymore!!!1!1!

Kermit: you fools, this might only be the beginning

Aux cord: w-what do you mean?

Kermit: them being together doesn't mean that they'll stop being oblivious

MOMo: god I sure hope it does

Twilight sparkle: oui ~

Floaty: you know that chat name doesn't really suit you Aoyama

Floaty changed Twilight sparkles name to ✨Rarity✨

✨Rarity✨: *gasp* c’est magnifique!

Floaty: please don’t type out the word gasp

✨Rarity✨: yeah ok that's fair

1:30 pm
Class 1-A chat

Grammar police: oh yeah and before I forget

Grammar police has added Shamwow to the chat

Shamwow: why

Shamwow: why would you do this

Shamwow: I see you typing, that was a rhetorical question

Shamwow: anyway I forgot to tell you all that Shinsou will be replacing the grape

🅱️ones: I kind of guessed but it’s nice to have confirmation

Free charger: we’re replacing one purple boi with a better purple boi

Tired (of y’all): thanks for the introduction dad

Hand crusher: I k n e w i t

🅱️ones: oh no

Hand crusher: who else is related to a pro hero? Midnight and mustard’s quirks seem to be pretty similar…

🅱️ones: oh n o

🅱️ones: someone stop him

Grammar police has temporarily closed the chat

Chapter Text

5:04 pm
Class 1-A chat

Free charger: so are we just going to ignore the fact that what Todoroki said would make sense or…

🅱️ones: yes

🅱️ones: yes we are

Free charger: that’s fair

Free charger: anyway change of subject, did I ever tell you guys about the time I got my finger stuck in an electrical outlet

🅱️ones: why were you sticking it in there in the first place

Free charger: thats what she said

Free charger: I wanted to know what it felt like idk, but I ended up short circuiting

Angry pomeranian: what the fuck pikachu

Angry pomeranian has changed Free charger’s name to Dumbass

Dumbass: surprised_pikachu.jpg

Angry pomeranian: don’t put your fucking fingers in outlets

Grammar police: i’m adding the adults so I don’t have to deal with y’alls dumbassery alone

Grammar police this is non negotiable

Grammar police has added Presentation Michael, Chloroform, Captain america, StillABetterHeroThanEnd*vor, and Worlds best mom to the chat

🅱️ones: how did you get my mom’s number

Grammar police: don’t question it :^)

Chloroform: oh? A group chat?

Worlds best mom: hello everyone ^-^

Assid: hi mama midoriya!

Assid: also who’s @StillABetterHeroThanEnd*vor?

Grammar police: That would be my brother, can’t really say he’s wrong though

Hand crusher: I can say from personal experience that he’s absolutely correct

Shamwow: Hizashi put the adoption papers down one problem child is enough

Presentation Michael: is it though :/

Tired (of y’all): I wouldn’t mind having a brother

Hand crusher: gotta get my shitty dad in jail first though

StillABetterHeroThanEnd*vor: fuck end*vor

Hand crusher: fuck end*vor

🅱️ones: fuck end*vor

Chloroform: fuck end*vor

Captain america: fuck end*vor

Worlds best mom: fuck end*vor

🅱️ones: damn even mom and dad got on the fuck end*vor train

🅱️ones: w a i t

Hand crusher: … i called it

Captain america: I’m not cryig you’re crying

Captain america changed their name to Dad might

Shamwow: the first time always gets you

Presentation Michael: Shouta wouldn't stop crying for an hour

Shamwow: I did no such thing

Presentation Michael: I thought you hated lying though?

Dumbass: so i’m confused

Dumbass: is all might actually his dad?

Dumbass: it would explain why their quirks are so similar...

🅱️ones: no he’s not actually my dad

🅱️ones: my dad was a scumbag who left because I was uhh.. A late bloomer when it came to my quirk

Angry pomeranian: fucker didn’t get his quirk until right before the entrance exams

Dad might: watch your profanity young Bakugou

Angry pomeranian: whatever

Angry pomeranian: but if your dad ever shows up again i'll beat his ass

Angry pomeranian: or worse, i’ll let my mom at him

Worlds best mom: Please don’t we don’t want a lawsuit on our hands

Shamwow: being an underground hero has taught me how to hide a body

Shamwow: just saying

Worlds best mom: it is tempting but please don’t murder my ex husband

Angry pomeranian: I make no promises

Worlds best mom: I know that’s probably the best I can get out of you

Shamwow: ……fine

Worlds best mom: :)

Chapter Text

3:40 am
Class 1-A chat

Dumbass: ok but… Midoriya’s quirk is nothing like his mom’s right? So either he got his dad’s quirk or theres something he’s not telling us

Flex tape: Denki it’s almost 4 in the morning

Flex tape: go to sleep

Dumbass: I don’t need sleep I need answers

Dumbass: yo @Angry pomeranian

Flex tape: bro are you actually trying to die? You KNOW he goes to sleep at 9

Angry pomeranian: what in the god damn FUCK could you possibly need at 3:47

Dumbass: what’s Midoriya’s dad’s quirk?

Angry pomeranian: … nunya

Dumbass: oh! Cool what’s it do?

Angry pomeranian: pikachu I meant it’s none of your fucking buisness

Dumbass: oh…

Dumbass: I’ll go to sleep

Dumbass: but I will bring this topic up later

10:06 am

🅱️ones: uhh

Dms: 🅱️ones, Dad might

🅱️ones: can I tell them?

Dad might: of course my boy! It's as much your secret as it is mine

Dad might: and I can’t say not knowing is doing any of you any favors

Dad might: and besides all for one is in the deepest pit of tartarus

🅱️ones: ok thanks dad!

🅱️ones: fucvrweqivrh

Dad might: it’s quite alright my boy

Dad might: I don’t really mind if you call me that

🅱️ones: :)

Class 1-A chat

🅱️ones: so

🅱️ones: mine and all might’s quirks are similar right?

Dumbass: yeah…?

🅱️ones: well that’s because they’re the same quirk

Dumbass: SO HE IS YOUR DAD!

🅱️ones: no he’s not!

🅱️ones: at least not biologically

Flex tape: then how do y’all have the same quirk???

🅱️ones: the first person who had it (one for all) was given a stockpiling quirk by his brother (all for one who has the power to give and take quirks from people) because he was quirkless, but the thing is, ofa wasn’t quirkless he had the power to pass down his quirk to another person by having that person swallow some of his dna (kinda gross but oh well) and so it’s been passed down through generations before it got to all might and then to me

Floaty: wait isn’t all for one the guy who all might last fought? That can’t actually be him right?

Floaty: he’d have to be suuuuuuper old

🅱️ones: well at some point he must’ve stolen a quirk that essentially makes him immortal

Floaty: yeah that would make sense

Rock hard: so you had to swallow some of all mights dna…….?

🅱️ones: it was just a hair (still gross)

Assid: so that’s why you break ur bones when u use it

Assid: u got quirk too big for you got damn body

🅱️ones: i’m honestly surprised y’all are taking this so well

Kermit: did you really expect us to freak out, kero?

Sugar daddy: yeah at least we know why the league was hellbent on our class now

Murkrow: also it’s not really all that surprising

🅱️ones: …

Tentacool: i think it’s safe to say, nobodys surprised

Worlds best mom: i’m a tad bit surprised

Worlds best mom: and i’m his mother

🅱️ones: sorry mom, I probably should have told you sooner

Worlds best mom: it’s ok izuku

Hand crusher: speaking of revelations, should we tell them about hosu

Hand crusher: I mean the police already took care of it

Not a furry: what the fuck went on in hosu?

Grammar police: nah let them suffer

Not a furry: I repeat, what the everloving fuck went on in hosu

Hand crusher: nothing you need to know :^)

Tired (of y’all): I don’t like that smile

Tired (of y’all): especially not from you

🅱️ones: :^)

Grammar police: :^)

Not a furry: ah so it was all three of you

Dumbass: anyway moving on

Dumbass: I found our teacher’s old yearbook pictures

Dumbass: baby_mic.png, always_been_tired.png, pg_13_midnight.png, all_american.png

John cena: omg mic with his hair down

✨Rarity✨: aizawa really needs a better skincare routine

Shamwow: I know but hey

MOMo: and midnight just looks so… babey

Aux cord: she really does

Rock hard: also what the heck happened to all might?

Rock hard: he went from a normal looking dude, to switching between buff and a skeleton, and then to full skeleton

Dad might: I don’t think you want the answer to that

Dad might: but long story short afo happened and then I gave my quirk to young Midoriya

✨Rarity✨: if you can’t switch to buff might anymore then why don’t you get clothes that actually fit you

Dad might: … yeah that’s fair

Worlds best mom: i’m taking you shopping tomorrow

Worlds best mom: there's no escape :)

Dad might: you can really be scary when you want to be

Dumbass: honestly if either of the midoriyas became villains we’d all be screwed

🅱️ones: why do you keep saying that

Dumbass: because it’s true

Rock hard: yeah he’s right, you’re analytical as hell dude

Hand crusher: what he said

🅱️ones: well if i’m that scary shouto why did you go to a location i sent you with no context in the middle of the villain attack in hosu

Not a furry: once again what the fuck happened in hosu??

Not a furry: did everyone really just leave me on read

Not a furry: wow ok

Chapter Text

2:45 am
3 parents and 6 kids

Chad: sup fuckers

Compressed file: …

Compressed file: are you incapable of greeting us in any other way

Chad: yes

Fuckhands McMike: who the fuck readded me here

Fuckhands McMike: and I will disintegrate the phone of whoever changed my name to this

Chad: you do be having fuckhands tho

Stabby: awww shiggy really I think it suits you :(

Stabby: but if you want a different one

Stabby has changed Fuckhands McMike’s name to Shiggy

Shiggy: and here I thought it couldn’t get worse

Goth grillby: I-

Goth grillby: just please don't kill each other

Magnetic personality: you sound like a tired mom lol

Goth grillby: I wish I didn’t

Once: he’s everyone's mom even yours

Ketchup: really? I think he's more of a wine aunt

A raisin: you’re like 11 isn’t it past your bedtime? (also that’s magnes job)

Ketchup: i’m 13 so stfu

Chad: who the fuck taught the child to swear

A raisin: read what you just said

Chad: oh…

A raisin: anyway can I add my friend to the chat

Compressed file: is this the same friend you were telling me about earlier

A raisin: perhaps

Compressed file: then why not

Chad: I would like to know who it is first

A raisin: his name is Takami Keigo

Chad: you’re friends with fucking hawks?

A raisin: yeah, he’s actually pretty chill (and needs more friends tbh)

Chad: fucking go for it

Stabby: why not? We’ve had stranger people in here

Once: of course! fine by me

Magnetic personality: hasn’t given me any reason to dislike him besides being a hero so sure

Ketchup: yeah he seems chill

Goth grillby: as long as you’re sure he won’t use this information against us

Shiggy: fiiiiiine I guess i’ll allow it

Stabby: that’s shiggy speak for “I would love a new friend, thanks for asking”

Shiggy: you wanna fucking die?

Stabby: i’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me

A raisin: ty y’all

A raisin has added Kentucky fried fuck to the chat

Kentucky fried fuck: yo

Stabby: hi!

Stabby: opinions on knives?

Kentucky fried fuck: they’re pretty cool

Stabby: congrats you're my new favorite hero :)

Kentucky fried fuck: i’m honored

Ketchup: toga why are you like this

Kentucky fried fuck: jfc is that a gremlin?

Ketchup: no i’m an 8th grader

Magnetic personality: you say that as if you still go to school

Ketchup: can’t exactly do that when i’m a wanted criminal now can I?

Magnetic personality: yeah that's fair

Magnetic personality: i honestly forgot that we’re criminals for a sec lol

Ketchup: how did you even manage to forget that

Magnetic personality: idk

Kentucky fried fuck: my only question is, how have y’all not been caught yet lmao

Stabby: i don’t think anybody here knows the answer to that

Goth grillby: I certainly have no clue

Chad: i almost forgot to do something

Chad has changed the chat name to 3 parents 7 kids

Kentucky fried fuck: bold of you to assume i’m not a parent

Chad: Is it really that bold though?

A raisin: yeah keigo you still laugh at fart jokes

A raisin: and if anyone makes a comment on what i just said prepare to have the thing you love most turned to ashes

Compressed file: i’m gonna do it

Stabby: wait compress don’t-

Compressed file: “keigo”? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A raisin: …

Stabby: rip kurogiri I guess

Goth grillby: am I not allowed to have one day chaos free

Once: nope no

Goth grillby: understandable have a nice day

Chapter Text

5:30 pm
Class 1-A chat

Dumbass: is it just me or was the chat super quiet yesterday?

Assid: yeah it kinda was

Dumbass: weird

Dumbass: anyway back to your regularly scheduled memes

Dumbass: did y’all see what bakubro just did lmao

Assid: no what’d he do?

Dumbass: he picked up Hanta and said “this bitch empty YEET” and then mcfuckin threw him

Assid: lmao

Dumbass: luckily he landed on the couch tho

Assid: yeah that's good

Assid: hey @everyone we should play truth or dare

🅱️ones: i’m down for it

🅱️ones: but this chat name it getting old

🅱️ones has changed their name to Izukuwu

Izukuwu: that’s better

Assid: say aye if you don’t want to be included

Murkrow: aye definitely don’t want to play

Dumbass: … was that a pun?

Murkrow: perhaps

Tentacool: i wont play either

Assid: so are tokoyami and shoji the only ones not playing?

Izukuwu: it seems so

Not a furry: can i go first?

Assid: of course

Not a furry: @tired (of y’all) truth or dare

Tired (of y’all): truth

Not a furry: when was the last time you slept

Tired (of y’all): … dare

Not a furry: go to sleep

Tired (of y’all): fuck

Assid: rules are rules shinsou

Assid: go take a nap

Tired (of y’all): … fine

Assid: but before you do that ask someone else t or d

Tired (of y’all): ok, Uraraka t or d

Floaty: dare i’m not a coward

Tired (of y’all): I dare you to make your way to the common room without touching the floor

Floaty has sent a video

(video ID: Uraraka floating down the hallway occasionally bumping into the wall until she reaches the elevator, it stops at the second floor as tokoyami gets on ”i'm not even going to question why at this point”
“Yeah that’s probably wise” finally the elevator reaches the first floor and uraraka promptly releases herself onto the couch)

Dumbass: nice

Floaty: @Hand crusher truth or dare

Hand crusher: dare

Floaty: I dare you to freeze bakugo’s stuff to the ceiling

Hand crusher: ok i might need your help tho

Floaty: ok

Hand crusher has sent a photo

(photo ID: everything in bakugo’s room from chapstick to his entire bed is now frozen to the ceiling and todoroki is giving the camera a thumbs up)

Assid: nice

Hand crusher: @Cryptid truth or dare

Cryptid: Truth!

Izukuwu: fuck i forgot he was here

Hand crusher: are you actually tokoyami’s quirk or do you count as a separate person

Dumbass: dang todoroki’s asking the real questions tonight

Cryptid: I technically count as both

Hand crusher: huh not the answer i was expecting but nice

Cryptid: @Flex tape truth or dare

Flex tape: dare

Cryptid: i dare you to climb down the side of the building and knock on ojiro’s balcony door

Flex tape: weird request but ok

Flex tape has sent a video

(video ID: sero puts double sided tape on his hands and feet and begins to crawl down the side of heights alliance, he continues on past the dorm below his until he reaches ojiro’s room and knocks on the door, and ojiro (who hasn’t been reading the chat much) screams as the video cuts off)

Flex tape: the deed is done

Dumbass: holy shit bro

6:03 pm
Teacher gang

Presentation michael: did anyone else just see sero?

Shamwow: I wish I didn't

Chloroform: i assume you’re gonna stop whatever they're doing

Shamwow: I probably should

Shamwow: sigh

Shamwow: I think it can wait a bit

6:06 pm
Class 1-A chat

Flex tape: @dumbass t or d

Dumbass: truth

Flex tape: i love you bro

Dumbass: that’s not a question bro but i love you too

Flex tape: you said truth so i gave you the truth bro

Dumbass: bro

Assid: need me a freak like that

Assid: anyway ask someone kami

Dumbass: @✨Rarity✨ t or d

✨Rarity✨: dare

Dumbass: I dare you to glitter bomb Aizawa

✨Rarity✨: :^)

✨Rarity✨ sent a photo

(photo ID: Aizawa standing there covered in glitter with an extremely annoyed expression while Aoyama smiles™ at the camera)

Dumbass: lmao

6:20 pm
Teacher gang

Shamwow: they fucking glitter bombed me

Presentation michael: lmao

Chloroform: hold up I need to see this

Chloroform: just saw it and its just as hilarious as i imagined

Shamwow: i think this has gone on long enough

6:03 pm
Class 1-A chat

Shamwow: i don't know what you all are doing but stop it

Dumbass: but Aizawa-

Shamwow: no buts

Flex tape: ha

Shamwow: i-

Shamwow: sigh

Chapter Text

4:45 pm
Class 1-A chat

Dumbass: fuck zodiacs @everyone I wanna know who you main on smash bros

Dumbass: obviously i’m pichu

Flex tape: why not Pikachu?

Aux cord: because i’m pikachu

Dumbass: and pichu still hursts itself when it uses its power

Flex tape: lmao hursts

Flex tape: but yeah that makes sense

Flex tape: i’m wii fit trainer

Angry pomeranian: you would

Angry pomeranian: anyway I play as bowser

Izukuwu: why am I not surprised?

Angry pomeranian: fuck you deku

Izukuwu: but to answer your question Kaminari I main daisy

Dumbass: I wasn't expecting that but it fits somehow?

Floaty: I main Kirby :)

Izukuwu: I hate how much that fits

Izukuwu: you both look sweet and wholesome but you can and will kill god

Floaty: I would never hurt yaomomo

Dumbass: @MOMo how do you feel about being an absolute goddess?

MOMo: I don’t know how to respond to that

MOMo: to answer the previous question though I play as Rosalina quite often

Dumbass: that’s fair

Izukuwu: @Grammar police you play smash bros right?

Grammar police: I do, I typically play as sonic

Izukuwu: yeah that’s fair

Dumbass: ok now im curious

Dumbass: @Disney princess who do you main

Disney princess: Isabelle :)

Dumbass: ...why is that smile so ominous

Sugar daddy: it’s because he can and will kick your ass on smash bros all while playing as isabelle

Sugar daddy: I main peach btw

Sugar daddy: @John cena who do you main

John cena: bowser jr

Floaty: but why bowser jr?

John cena: it’s the Vibes Uraraka

Floaty: yeah ok

John cena: hey @Murkrow I wanna try and guess who you main

John cena: is it falco

Murkrow: …it’s falco

John cena: ojiro you owe me money

Not a furry: damn

Murkrow: you guys were betting on who I main on smash bros?

Not a furry: yeah

Not a furry: I guessed duck hunt

Murkrow: Darkshadow’s the one who mains duck hunt

Not a furry: huh

Not a furry: inch resting

Not a furry: I suppose I should mention that I main little mac

Murkrow: as expected

Not a furry: I-

Not a furry: ok

Chapter Text

10:57 pm
3 parents 7 kids

Ketchup: I swear to god spinner, gta is not a valid way to have learned how to drive

Chad: god’s not here

Ketchup: I-

A raisin: just let the man live

A raisin: it’s not like we abide by the law anyway

Ketchup: that’s fair

Ketchup: car crashes aren’t fun though

Chad: for your information i've never gotten in an accident before

Ketchup: yet

Chad: it’s not like your driving skills are better

Ketchup: i’m a child what’s your excuse

Chad: i keep forgetting that you’re like… a baby

Ketchup: i’m 14 so shut the fuck up

Chad has changed Ketchup’s name to A child

A child: fuck you

Kentucky fried fuck: wait you’re 14??

A child: yeah…?

Kentucky fried fuck: damn

Kentucky fred fuck: is anyone else here a minor

Stabby: just me and mustard

Stabby: I'm 17!

Kentucky fried fuck: jeez

Stabby: yeah…

Kentucky fried fuck: I feel like this might be a bit personal and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to but

Kentucky fried fuck: what made you become a villain

Stabby: it’s a long story that really don’t want to get into right now but long story short: neglectful parents

Kentucky fried fuck: that’s fair

A raisin: honestly all of us are probably here because of mommy/daddy issues or capitalism

Compressed file: I can’t say that you’re wrong

A child: which one is it for you magic man

Compressed file: It’s the capitalism obviously

Chad: yeah sure

Chad: definitely obvious

Compressed file: fucker

Once: anyway moving on

Once: @Stabby I finished that dress you wanted me to make

Stabby: strawberry dress!!

Once: please try not to get blood on it do what you want, I can’t stop you

Stabby: I make no promises <3

Magnetic personality: Toga please

Magnetic personality: you know blood is difficult to wash out

Stabby: fine…

12:02

Goth grillby: @Stabby @Chad I don’t know what you’re doing to make all that noise but stop it, I’m trying to sleep

Shiggy: Shes chasing him with a knife while singing holding out for a hero

Goth grillby: Can you stop them?

Shiggy: why can’t you do it

Goth grillby: I’m trapped under Sako who’s asleep

Shiggy: of course you are

Shiggy: I guess I can do it

Goth grillby: Tomura what was that loud bang?

Shiggy: spinner ran into a wall and knocked himself out

Goth grillby: You kids are the reason I drink

Stabby: sorry kuro I won't do it again

Stabby: not this late anyway

A raisin has changed Goth grillby’s name to Tired dad

Tired had has changed their name to Goth grillby

Goth grillby: I believe the title belongs to someone else

A raisin: who?

Goth grillby: A person who I can’t tell you the name of yet

A raisin: that’s a bit cryptic but imma let it slide for now since it’s 12:24 and i’m tired

A raisin: goodnight dad

A raisin: I mean kuro

Goth grillby: Goodnight Dabi

Chapter Text

11:12 am
Operation redemption arc

Goth grillby sent a screenshot: (A raisin has changed Goth grillby’s name to Tired dad

Tired dad has changed their name to Goth grillby

Goth grillby: I believe the title belongs to someone else

A raisin: who?

Goth grillby: A person who I can’t tell you the name of yet

A raisin: that’s a bit cryptic but imma let it slide for now since it’s 12:24 and i’m tired

A raisin: goodnight dad

A raisin: I mean kuro

Goth grillby: Goodnight dabi)

Goth grillby: Fuck

Presentation michael: lol he called you dad

Shamwow: welcome to the club

Goth grillby: Not why I’m freaking out but ok

Presentation michael: I mean

Presentation michael: you’re gonna have to tell them eventually

Goth grillby: That’s fair

Goth grillby: Also

Goth grillby has changed Shamwow’s name to Tired dad

Tired dad: sigh

Goth grillby: Update time

Goth grillby: They were all okay with Dabi adding Hawks to the chat

Presentation michael: one question

Presentation michael: how do they know each other?

Goth grillby: No clue how they met, but Dabi has talked to Sako and I about this guy he likes whom we correctly guessed to be Hawks

Presentation Michael: *surprised pikachu*

Tired dad: i also have a question

Goth grillby:I’m not telling you who our informant is

Tired dad: why not?

Goth grillby: As I have already told you, they know you and Hizashi are helping us and will tell you when they’re ready

Tired dad: can I at least know if they’re one of my students?

Goth grillby: All I can tell you is that you’ve met them before

Tired dad: … thank you Oboro

11:20 am
Class 1-A chat

Izukuwu: @John cena couldn’t you get a hero costume made out of your hair like Mirio does?

John cena: bold of you to assume I have hair

Assid: Hagakure I helped you brush it this morning…

John cena: yeah that’s fair I just dont want one

Izukuwu: don’t you get cold though

Izukuwu: I feel like Its not good for your health to be going around naked all the time

Izukuwu: especially with hero work

John cena: honestly I didn’t think about that

Izukuwu: I could ask Hatsume if she could make one for you?

John cena: that would be nice

Tired dad: I was going to bring that up after class today but I guess I don’t have to now

Assid: jesus fuck I forgot you were here

Tired dad: watch your mouth

Assid: you mean fingers?

Tired dad: …

Assid: …

Tired dad: I hate it here

Assid: then leave

Assid: nobody’s stopping you

Tired dad: that’s where you’re wrong

Tired dad: watch this

Tired dad has left the chat

Presentation michael has added Tired dad to the chat

Presentation michael: shouta don’t leave :(

Tired dad: see?

Assid: how does he just Know when you leave

Tired dad: it’s not just him

Tired dad: it’s also Hitoshi and Nemuri

Tired dad: occasionally Tensei if he's quick enough

Assid: damn

2:08 pm

Rock hard has sent a video: (Kaminari, and Sero are with Kirishima in his dorm absolutely vibing, Kaminari yells ”it’s the final braincell!” and sero pulls out a kazoo and kazoo’d the rest of the song (you know the one))

John cena: iconic

John cena: truly iconic

John cena: what time is it

Flex tape: you’re literally on your phone right now just look up

John cena: i love you (no hetero) and i mean this in the nicest way possible but, no

Flex tape: it took more time for you to type that out than it would have for you to look at the top of your screen

John cena: just tell me the time

Flex tape: fine

Flex tape: it’s 2:12

John cena: ok thank you

John cena: wait shit i have to be somewhere soon

Flex tape: where?

John cena: just visiting family

Flex tape: ok

Flex tape: have fun

2:34 pm
Dms: Assid, John cena

Assid: hey hagakure

Assid: can I ask you something about your quirk?

John cena: sorry, Toru can’t answer right now I kinda stole her phone

Assid: who is this

John cena: this is her older sister

Assid: I thought she said she didn’t have siblings

John cena: not technically but we’re basically family at this point

John cena: this is Ashido right?

Assid: yeah

John cena: you better treat her right

John cena: or i’m coming for ur kneecaps

Assid: … please elaborate?

John cena: no <3

Chapter Text

1:00 pm
3 parents 7 kids

Stabby: sometimes I wish I could get bigger portion sizes of cranberry sauce

Stabby: but sadly I have to share with other people

Stabby: I would honestly eat a whole can of it

Compressed file: don’t do it

Compressed file: I did it once and now I can’t even stand the smell of it

Stabby: forgive me father

Stabby: for I’m about to sin

Compressed file: Toga put the can down

Stabby: make me >:p

Stabby: ...did you really have to compress it?

Compressed file: yes

Compressed file: I can’t let you make the same mistakes I did

Chad: @Stabby there's another can in the pantry

Stabby: not for long :)

Compressed file: Spinner why would you tell her that

Chad: because fuck you

Goth grillby: Why did I just see Sako chasing Toga to the pantry?

Chad: scroll up

Goth grillby: …

Goth grillby: Sako I love you but I’m on Toga’s side here

Compressed file: betrayal (love you too <3)

Goth grillby: <3

Once: gays in the chat! put money in the jar!

Goth grillby: Fuck

Goth grillby: Why do we even have that jar anyway?

Goth grillby: Me and Sako are literally the only couple in this chat

Stabby: yeah but all the pining makes up for that

Goth grillby: I suppose

Goth grillby: Where are you?

Stabby: I can’t tell you that

Stabby: I’m hiding from compress

1:15 pm
Dms: Compressed file, Goth grillby

Compressed file: should I tell her that I’ve already stopped looking?

Goth grillby: 10 more minutes

Goth grillby: It’s nice to have some peace and quiet for once

Compressed file: ok

Compressed file: love you <3

Goth grillby: <3

1:25 pm
3 parents 7 kids

Compressed file: @Stabby I stopped looking for you over 10 minutes ago you can stop hiding now

Stabby: you fucker

A raisin: lol

A raisin: anyway I just realized that the whole time we’ve had this group chat (or been in the league for that matter) we never really said our pronouns

Stabby: yeah we should probably do that

Stabby: i'll go first, My pronouns are she/her :)

A raisin: he/they

Compressed file: he/him

Stabby: yo @everyone we’re doing this now

Once: oh fuck yeah, he/him, they/them

Magnetic personality: she/her

A child: they/them

Kentucky fried fuck: he/him

Goth grillby: he/him

Chad: i’m fine with any pronouns

Shiggy: he/they

2:00 pm

Stabby: yall guess who’s coming to visit!!!!!

Chad: fuck yeah!!

Magnetic personality: I miss her, very glad she’s coming

Kentucky fried fuck: who?

A child: one of our members is in the ua hero course so we don’t see her much

A raisin: … fuck

A child: what?

A raisin: I told my brother that today would be a pretty good day to visit

Chad: 1: todoroki is delightful, 2: oh shit

A raisin: *chuckles* i'm in danger

A child: can’t believe dabi’s gonna be dead within half an hour

Kentucky fried fuck: rip

Kentucky fried fuck: but who’s gonna get to him first her or todoroki

Chad: she will probably

A child: yeah she could sneak up on him really easily

Stabby: we should make a gc with her so we can warn her

Stabby: or add her to this one

A raisin: yeah

A raisin: which of us has her number?

Stabby: I do, hold on

Stabby has added John cena to the chat

A raisin: lmao john cena

John cena: not to be rude but why did yall add me?

A raisin: to warn you that there is a possibility that my little brother is gonna be visiting at the same time 👉👈

John cena: who’s ur brother??

A raisin: todoroki shoto…

John cena: oh shit

John cena: he’s gonna find out

A raisin: it’s fine I can keep him away while you’re there

John cena: no… you don’t have to do that

John cena: they were gonna find out eventually

A raisin: if it makes you feel any better, he probably wouldn’t tell anyone?

John cena: yeah you’re right

John cena: i’m here btw

Chapter Text

2:24 pm
3 parents 7 kids

A raisin: shoto should be here soon @John cena

A raisin: just in case you wanna hide or something

John cena: no i’ll just stay with you guys

John cena: it makes me feel safer

John cena: which is hilarious considering what you do

A raisin: yeah…

2:30 pm
Dms: A raisin, Hand crusher

A raisin: hey shoto just as a heads up we have another guest over rn

Hand crusher: really?

Hand crusher: Full offense but you have friends outside of the league?

A raisin: you’ll see (also are you not my friend :( ?)

Hand crusher: that’s ominous (we’re siblings it doesn’t count)

Hand crusher: anyway i’ll be there in 5 minutes

A raisin: aight

2:40 pm
Dms: Hand crusher, John cena

Hand crusher: what the fuck

Hand crusher: I won't tell anyone because 1: if they get caught I can’t see my brother anymore, and 2: that’d be mean

Hand crusher: but this was completely unexpected

John cena: I’m sorry todoroki

John cena: I should have told you guys

Hand crusher: it’s okay hagakure

Hand crusher: you probably didn’t have much of a choice

Hand crusher: you should probably tell the rest of the class though *cough*mostlyashido*cough*

John cena: that Does Not work through texting todoroki

John cena: but yeah you’re right

John cena: I’ll tell her as soon as I can

John cena: anyway moving on from that, Dabi is your brother???

Hand crusher: yeah he ran away when I was like, 5

John cena: damn

John cena: dabi doesn’t talk about his past much so I had no idea

John cena: speaking of dabi, can we talk about him and hawks for a sec

Hand crusher: ah so you’ve noticed it too

John cena: they obviously like each other

Hand crusher: yeah they’re not subtle At All

Hand crusher: and they’re both extremely oblivious

John cena: now you know how i felt about you and midoriya’s pining :)

Hand crusher: i'll admit it

Hand crusher: that wasn’t one of my best moments

John cena: yup

Hand crusher: you wanna meddle in their love life?

John cena: of course

2:53 pm
Hand crusher has added John cena and A raisin to chat: ur a tree

A raisin: why are we texting in the same room

A raisin: and who’s a tree???

Hand crusher: you

Hand crusher: you're a tree

A raisin: ??

John cena: it’s because of all the pining you’ve been doing

A raisin: what pining

Hand crusher: …

Hand crusher: please tell me you’re aware of the fact that you like hawks

Hand crusher: I might actually cry if you don’t

A raisin: of course I know shoto

A raisin: I’m not an idiot

Hand crusher: …

John cena: …

A raisin: shut up

John cena: we didn’t say anything

A raisin: exactly

Hand crusher: ok touya

John cena: hey dabi if you confess to hawks within 48 hours i'll finally confess to ashido and stop ranting about her in our dms

A raisin: deal

Hand crusher: is it that bad?

A raisin: yes

John cena: wow ok

Hand crusher: off topic but should we tell the others that we’re good now?

John cena: nah

John cena: let em suffer

A raisin: thats cold hagakure

Hand crusher: ice cold

A raisin: lmao

Chapter Text

6:34 am
Operation redemption arc

Goth grillby: Todoroki knows

Tired dad: Oboro you can’t just say things like that and not elaborate (also jesus fuck its early)

Tired dad: what does todoroki know?

Goth grillby: So you know how Dabi is Todoroki Touya?

Goth grillby: Jeez I hate calling him that it feels like i’m deadnaming him

Tired dad: well i do now

Goth grillby: Oh…

Goth grillby: Anyway, Todoroki came over yesterday to visit Dabi and uhh

Goth grillby: Our informant was also there

Presentation michael: oh no

Presentation michael: how’d he react?

Goth grillby: Surprisingly well

Goth grillby: However I think they’re plotting something now

Tired dad: that can’t be good

Presentation michael: we should add todoroki to the chat

Tired dad: you know what?

Tired dad: why not

Goth grillby: Sure

Presentation michael: :)

Presentation michael has added Hand crusher to the chat

Hand crusher: wtf is this

Tired dad: 1: watch your profanity, 2: read the name of the chat

Hand crusher: oh

Hand crusher: who’s it for?

Goth grillby: Hi

Hand crusher: that kind of makes sense but at the same time it doesn’t

Hand crusher: how do you guys know each other?

Presentation michael: we went to highschool together

Hand crusher: huh… inch resting…

Tired dad: hey todoroki who’s the informant

Hand crusher: i’m not telling

Goth grillby: Be patient Shouta

Goth grillby: They’ll tell you when they’re ready

Tired dad: I know

Tired dad: I just don’t like waiting

Goth grillby: Ok Shouta

Tired dad: anyway, back to what we were talking about earlier: what are you plotting todoroki

Tired dad: oboro said it seems like you’re scheming

Hand crusher: it’s just something about my brother

6:42 am
Dms: Hand crusher, Goth grillby

Hand crusher: how much does he know?

Goth grillby: Pretty much everything besides the fact that Hagakure is one of us

Hand crusher: ok thank you kuro

6:43 am
Operation redemption arc

Hand crusher: me and the “informant” as you call them are trying to get my brother to confess to hawks

Goth grillby: Oh yeah, we could probably add him to this chat too

Tired dad: it wouldn’t hurt to have one more person here who knows the league

Hand crusher: hopefully he doesn’t back read

Presentation michael: i really doubt he would

Goth grillby: I’m adding him then

Goth grillby has added Kentucky fried fuck to the chat

Kentucky fried fuck: yo

Kentucky fried fuck: what’s this

Tired dad: does nobody read the chat name

Goth grillby: I could hear that sigh from all the way over here

Presentation michael: it was an honest question hawks, but shouta i think the whole country heard that sigh lol

Tired dad: maybe that's my secret second quirk

Tired dad: sighing really loud

Hand crusher: if you think about it, couldn’t that be part of present mic’s quirk?

Presentation michael: let’s find out :)

Kentucky fried fuck: jfc I know y’all were joking about aizawa’s sigh being loud but I actually heard yamada’s from my agency

Tired dad: now imagine if you were right next to him

Kentucky fried fuck: rip your hearing

Goth grillby: We’re getting off topic

Presentation michael: oh yeah…

Kentucky fried fuck: so, hence the chat name and the fact that kuro’s here i’m guessing that this is about the league?

Tired dad: yup

Kentucky fried fuck: neat

Kentucky fried fuck: is there anything you need me to do?

Tired dad: not currently

Tired dad: mainly just wanted to let you know that we’re not actively trying to arrest your boyfriend

Kentucky fried fuck: ewuighwesxde

Kentucky fried fuck: i’m sorry w h a t?

Kentucky fried fuck: hes not my boyfiend???

Hand crusher: boyfiend

Tired dad: boyfiend

Presentation michael: boyfiend

Goth grillby: Boyfiend

Kentucky fried fuck: sHUT

Tired dad: no

Hand crusher: anyway

Hand crusher: i’m mostly just guessing but

Hand crusher: you do like him right?

Hand crusher: I won’t tell him or anything i’m just curious

Kentucky fried fuck: …maybe…

Hand crusher: alright, just wanted to know

Tired dad: you need to get to class now todoroki

Hand crusher: so do you

Tired dad: touché

Kentucky fried fuck: imagine ging to school lmao

Tired dad: ging

Hand crusher: ging

Goth grillby: ging

Presentation michael: ging

Kentucky fried fuck: I-

Kentucky fried fuck: ok

Chapter Text

3:51 pm
Class 1-A chat

Dumbass: how did the kingdom in sleeping beauty make thread in those 17(?) years

Dumbass: they destroyed all those things that make it (i forgot what they’re called)

Dumbass: how were they getting all that cloth to make new clothes

Flex tape: they probably had to import it

Flex tape: also it’s called a spinning wheel

Dumbass: ty hanta

Dumbass: is that ever even addressed in canon though?

Dumbass: og grimm fairytale or otherwise?

Flex tape: I don’t think so

Flex tape: I tried googling it but nothing came up

Grammar police: I believe Sero’s right about them importing it

Grammar police: unless they found a different way to make it

Dumbass: y’all wanna watch the movie and find out?

Flex tape: sure

Grammar police: ok

5:44 pm

Assid: did you find out how they did it? @dumbass @grammar police @flex tape

Dumbass: no >:(

Flex tape: it was kinda disappointing

Grammar police: i’m going to read the fairytale just to be sure

Dumbass: aight

Assid: good luck iida

6:23 pm

Grammar police: wow that was fucked up

Flex tape: iida swore!

Dumbass: i’m telling all might!

Dumbass: but actually tho how exactly was it fucked up?

Grammar police: in so many ways Kaminari

Grammar police: in so many ways…

Grammar police: i will not elaborate further because i feel as if that’s too heavy of a topic to discuss in a group chat

Dumbass: understandable bro

Dumbass: did they mention anything about the thread situation?

Grammar police: no they did not

Flex tape: damn

Flex tape: I guess we’ll never know

Grammar police: you could always research different ways they made thread back then

Flex tape: but that’s boring :(

Dumbass: yeah :(

Grammar police: sigh

✨Rarity✨: they just went back to hand spinning it??

✨Rarity✨: it’s not that hard to figure out mes amies :/

Flex tape: …

Dumbass: …

Grammar police: …

Grammar police: we’re stupid

✨Rarity✨: you’re not stupid iida :(

Grammar police: maybe, but we did just waste around 2 and a half hours trying to figure out what seems obvious in hindsight

✨Rarity✨: yeah but I will actually Yell if you call yourself stupid again

Grammar police: that’s fair

✨Rarity✨: (:

8:12 pm

Not a furry has sent a photo: (a black, white, and orange calico cat sitting on the common room couch, the picture was taken mid yawn so it looks like she’s yelling at the camera)

Not a furry: who’s cat is this?

Tired (of y’all): oh she must’ve gotten out of my room

Tired (of y’all): i’m cat sitting for dad while he’s on patrol (she doesn’t like being left alone for too long)

Not a furry: ah

Not a furry: what’s her name?

Tired (of y’all): rose

Tired (of y’all): could you bring her back up to my room?

Not a furry: yeah

Not a furry: I feel bad bothering her tho, she looks comfy :(

Tired (of y’all): imagine having to get up while she’s on your lap

Not a furry: that sounds so much worse

Not a furry: can you open your door? I cant knock with a cat in my arms

Tired (of y’all): but you can text

Not a furry: yeah oddly enough

Tired (of y’all) why are we still texting we’re in the same room

Not a furry: because it feels weird to finish the convo out loud

Tired (of y’all): fair

Chapter Text

7:30 am

Class 1-A chat

John cena: Does anyone know where Ojiro is?

John cena: we usually walk to class together but I can't find him

Assid: hagakure please scroll up

John cena: ope-

John cena: that's kinda fruity

Assid: yeah i don't think ojiro left shinsou’s room last night

Assid: you wanna walk with me instead?

John cena: yeah that’d be nice

7:34 am

Dms: A raisin, John cena

A raisin: hey guess what?

John cena: you did it?

A raisin: I have a boyfriend now

A raisin: you know what that means :)

John cena: …fine

John cena: i'll do it hopefully sometime this week

John cena: I feel like I should tell her about you guys first tho

John cena: just so it doesn’t create extra drama later

A raisin: that’s fine

A raisin: might not wanna tell shiggy that you’re telling her though

John cena: absolutely not telling him

John cena: he’s kind of like an older brother to me but i fear his reaction (not that he’d ever hurt me or anything)

A raisin: yeah I get what you mean

A raisin: now get off your phone and get to class

John cena: but I have math first period :(

A raisin: exactly, you need to pay attention

John cena: :(

8:35 am

Dms: John cena, Assid

John cena: Hey, could you meet me in the courtyard after school?

John cena: i need to talk to you about something

Assid: yeah of course

Assid: on a scale from ms. joke to mr. Aizawa how serious is this talk tho

John cena: about mr. Aizawa level seriousness

Assid: dang that’s pretty serious

John cena: yeah

8:38 am

Class 1-A chat

Tired dad: @Assid, @John cena

Tired dad: I can see you texting get off your phones

Assid: sorry mr. Aizawa, we won’t do it again!

Tired dad: you better not

John cena: how can you see us though?

Assid: yeah, we have math rn so you’re not teaching us?

Tired dad: look up

Assid: jfc u scared me half to death

John cena: i'm too scared to look up can you send a pic?

Assid has sent a photo: ( one of the ceiling tiles has been removed so Aizawa can watch his students, he looks mad and he has his quirk activated for dramatic effect )

John cena: now i’m glad I didn’t look up

John cena: that’s kinda scary

Tired dad: pay attention in class

Assid: ok we’re putting our phones away now

John cena: yep

3:23 pm

Dms: Assid, John cena

Assid: i’m in the courtyard by the benches

John cena: ok

John cena: would it be okay if we had the conversation over text? I don’t want someone to overhear it

Assid: yeah that’s fine

Assid: what did you wanna talk about?

John cena: I don’t know how exactly to put this so i’m just gonna outright say it

John cena: I work for the league of villains

Assid: I’m sorry what

Assid: you work for the guys who attacked us out of nowhere multiple times?

Assid: they almost killed us hagakure

John cena: I know

John cena: I don't believe what they did was right but I do believe they deserve a chance at redemption

John cena: bakugo got one even after bullying midoriya all those years

Assid: bullying is a tad bit different from villainy and attempted murder hagakure

John cena: …would it help if I said that mr. Aizawa is on board with it?

Assid: what do you mean hes on board with it?

John cena: Kuro said that the two of them are working on it and I can tell mr. aizawa about me being the ‘traitor’ whenever i’m ready

John cena: I decided to tell you first because you’re my best friend and I hoped you would help me tell him

Assid: oh

Assid: who’s kuro?

John cena: Kurogiri, him, mr. aizawa, and present mic were friends in highschool

Assid: dang one of the villains used to be in the hero course?

John cena: yeah

John cena: also did you know that shiggy’s a twitch streamer

Assid: oh boy

Assid: what kinda games does he play

John cena: anything as long as it isn't competitive

John cena: we had to ban him from those

John cena: it got expensive

Assid: I can imagine lol

Assid: how many followers does he have?

John cena: almost 7k now

Assid: damn that many people find his crusty ass funny? /j

Assid: does he do face cam

John cena: yeah

Assid: send me the link to his channel

John cena: ok

7:46 pm

Assid has sent a video: ( a screen recording of one of shigaraki’s streams, he’s playing breath of the wild and he gets a donation that says “you ever heard of chapstick, crusty?” he reads it out loud and, completely monotone, he responds “What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.

I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.

But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

You’re fucking dead, kiddo.” )

John cena: that was you???

Assid: the man tried killing us, i think that warrants a bit of cyber bullying /lh (mostly)

Assid: did not expect him to react like that tho

Assid: what I said was relatively harmless compared to my other ideas

John cena: he does something like that every time someone insults him on stream

John cena: last time was the jurgen leitner rant but he replaced jurgen leitner with their screen name

Assid: lmao

Assid: so when do you think you’re gonna tell aizawa

John cena: probably tomorrow

John cena: doing it today would be Too Much

Assid: that’s fair

Assid: honestly we should talk a bit more about this later

John cena: yeah definitely later

John cena: I don’t have the energy to talk more about it now

Chapter Text

3:34

Class 1-A chat

Dumbass: i want to smack a beluga whales big ol head (lightly)

Aux cord: you want to what?

Dumbass: you heard me

Aux cord: you know, sometimes i wish i didn’t

Dumbass: come on thats not even the most cursed thing ive said

Flex tape: jirou you cant tell me you haven’t thought the same thing

Aux cord: i can confidently say i have not

Dumbass: coward

Aux cord: i’m not weird like you kami /lh

Dumbass: well don't lie

Aux cord: shut up >:(

Dumbass: make me

Aux cord: ok

Dumbass: wait why do i hear footsteps

Dumbass: and boss music???

Dumbass: is that megalovania?

Dumbass: waihgjfufyu

Dumbass: she hit me in the forehead with a nerf gun

Aux cord: it’s what you deserve

Dumbass: no but seriously who was playing megalovania, i know it wasn’t jirou

Cryptid: :)

Dumbass: figures

Dumbass: @Hand crusher, why are you staring at nothing looking confused

Hand crusher: well you know how I stream on twitch?

Dumbass: no?

Dumbass: you stream??

Hand crusher: yeah

Hand crusher: I was streaming valorant and I was teamed up with who I’m pretty sure was the crusty bitch

Hand crusher: and I called him that

Hand crusher: on stream

Hand crusher: chat was going a mile a minute

Hand crusher: crusty started ranting

Dumbass: oh no

Hand crusher: anyway we won and i invited him to play again tomorrow

Dumbass: but he kills people???

Hand crusher: yeah, exactly what you want in this game

Dumbass: i guess…

3:46

3 parents 7 kids

John cena: SHIGARAKI TOMURA

Shiggy: oh no

John cena: what did i say about competitive games

Shiggy: i wasn't playing any

John cena: liar

Shiggy: …

Shiggy: i’m gonna kill that child

Shiggy: i swear i didn’t dust a controller again

Shiggy: but im about to dust a peppermint 

John cena: @goth grillby hes threatening  to kill kids again

Shiggy: you fucking snitch

Goth grillby: Tomura one more time this week and you’re grounded

Shiggy: but kuro-

Goth grillby: no buts

John cena has changed Goth grillby’s name to Goth mom

Goth mom: sigh

Goth mom: really?

John cena: yeah :)

John cena has changed Compressed file’s name to Magician dad

Magician dad: unprompted???

Magician dad: nvm scrolled up

Magician dad: completely prompted

Goth mom: betrayal

Magician dad: love u <3

Shiggy: the jar

Magician dad: fuck

Magician dad: i think we should get rid of the jar

Shiggy: no fuck you

Chapter Text

4:23 pm

Dms: Assid, John cena

John cena: i just told aizawa

Assid: how’d it go?

John cena: surprisingly well???

John cena: apparently he was kinda thinking it was me

John cena: and when i told him he just hugged me

John cena: he also told me not to tell anyone that part so now i gotta watch my back

Assid: lol

Assid: of course, he cant let anyone know he feels Emotions™

4:25 pm

Operation redemption arc

Tired dad has added John cena to the chat

Hand crusher: fucking finally

Kentucky fried fuck: holy shit

Goth mom: proud of you Toru

Presentation michael: lmao who changed your name to that?

Goth mom: @john cena

Presentation michael: ah of course

John cena: i also changed compress’s name to magician dad

Presentation michael: excellent

Presentation michael: fucking superb you funky little listener

John cena: ok now that everyone here is in the know i will now complain because holy shit

John cena: spinner and twice clearly like each other and its fucking killing me

John cena: also i know a way we could get at least mustard and himiko help a lot quicker

Tired dad: pray tell?

John cena: they’re both minors still, and himiko is old enough to be enrolled at school here

John cena: also i think we should get someone who specializes in quirks to check out himiko bc theres definitely a Reason shes like this and i dont think it’s just her mental state

John cena: also i think midnight and mustard are related

John cena: does midnight have any siblings?

Tired dad: i see where this is going

Tired dad: yes she had a sister, and yes she had a son

Tired dad: her sister and her husband both died a few years ago, son’s been missing since

John cena: and pray tell, how old would he be today

Tired dad: about 13

John cena: i fucking knew it

John cena: midnight is mustards aunt

Presentation michael: should we add her to the chat maybe? Tell her the situation?

Goth mom: yeah

Goth mom: shes gonna kill me tho

Goth mom: again

Presentation michael: lol

John cena: before we do that lemme check something real quick

4:36 pm

Dms: John cena, A child

John cena: hey mustard i have a question

A child: ?

John cena: do you have any relatives?

A child: why?

John cena: curious

A child: i have an aunt, haven’t seen her in a pretty long time

A child: and i doubt she’d wanna see me now lol

A child: i miss her tho

John cena: oh?

A child: promise you won’t tell the others if i tell you who she is?

John cena: of course i wont

A child: ok

A child: her name is kayama nemuri

A child: pretty sure she teaches at ua

John cena: your aunt is midnight?

A child: yeah

A child: you see why i said i’m pretty sure she doesn’t wanna see me?

John cena: i’m sure she misses you

A child: glad ur optimistic

4:39 pm

Operation redemption arc

John cena: ok i think it’s safe to add her

John cena: just wanted to make sure mustard didn’t hate her or something

Presentation michael: poggers

Presentation michael has added Chloroform to the chat

Chloroform: ?

Presentation michael: welcome to the league of villains redemption chat 

Presentation michael: @everyone sound off

Tired dad: hi

John cena: hi midnight

Hand crusher: o/

Kentucky fried fuck: yo

Goth mom: hello

Chloroform: ok i know everyone here but who’s goth mom?

Goth mom: uhhh

Tired dad: remember shirakumo?

Chloroform: holy shit

Chloroform: you’re alive???

Chloroform: and i’m only finding out now????

Goth mom: well technically-

Chloroform: wdym theres a technicality??

Goth mom: i did die when you thought i died

Goth mom: and then all for one took my corpse and did unethical experiments on it

Goth mom: i was never supposed to have human intelligence after that

Goth mom: i’m technically a nomu

Goth mom: isn’t that lovely

Chloroform: holy shit

Goth mom: i got a boyfriend out of it at least

Chloroform: o_0

Presentation michael: i think you broke her

John cena: you ok midnight sensei?

Chloroform: yeah i just need a minute

Chloroform: why are you in this chat exactly hagakure?

John cena: i’m the leagues informant

Chloroform: great thanks

Chloroform: and why are hawks and todoroki here?

Hand crusher: bc dabi’s my brother and hawks is dating him

Chloroform: excellent

Tired dad: you wanna know why you’re here or do you need a second?

Chloroform: yeah go ahead and tell me

John cena: mustard’s ur nephew

Chloroform: oh thank god hes alive

Chloroform: can i see him

John cena: ill have to check back with you on that one

Presentation michael: we should get nezu in this chat

Tired dad: bold of you to assume he doesn’t already know all of this

Presentation michael: fair

[REDACTED] has added Livinginurwalls to the chat

Livinginurwalls: hi :^)

Presentation michael: ??????

Livinginurwalls: dont question it

Presentation michael: ok

Livinginurwalls: ive been aware of the situation since the beginning and i’m already working on a villain reform program

Tired dad: how’re you gonna get the commission to agree to this?

Livinginurwalls: wouldn’t it look good for them to have some of the most dangerous villains in the country be switched over to the other side?

Tired dad: fair point

Tired dad: but how are you going to do it

Livinginurwalls: i want you to guess

Tired dad: therapy?

Livinginurwalls: it’s therapy :^)

Livinginurwalls: among other things of course

Livinginurwalls: like housing, and a living wage

Livinginurwalls: and the commission would probably demand at least community service, probably in the form of hero work

Livinginurwalls: @John cena do you think this could work with the league?

John cena: yeah probably

John cena: might have a hard time with the community service thing tho

John cena: especially with shiggy

Hand crusher: lol u call him shiggy? Doesn’t he hate that?

John cena: yes to both of those :)

Hand crusher: lol but yeah this might work with my brother as long as you can either get dear old dad in prison or at least a restraining order against him for each of us

Livinginurwalls: i can probably do the restraining orders

Livinginurwalls: which means i’d have to get you out of his custody

Livinginurwalls: which means i’d need proof he’s unfit to be a parent

Hand crusher: that wont be a problem, i put a camera in the training room back in middle school just in case

Livinginurwalls: excellent

Tired dad: hizashi get the fucking adoption papers

Presentation michael: already got em sho

Tired dad: is that ok @hand crusher?

John cena: hes crying

Hand crusher: noim not shut ip

John cena: anyways @Livinginurwalls opinion on having himiko enrolled here as part of her reform program? She’d be a third year

Livinginurwalls: i’m all for it

Livinginurwalls: are her parents around?

John cena: they disowned her when she got expelled for picking fights at school

John cena: she was already on thin ice with them because of her quirk

Livinginurwalls: great, it’ll be that much easier

Livinginurwalls: give me a second

5:03 pm

Dms: Livinginurwalls, Dracula

Livinginurwalls: hi :^)

Dracula: hi?

Livinginurwalls: you have a soft spot for troubled teens right?

Dracula: yeah? What about it?

Livinginurwalls: remember the shapeshifter from the attack at the camp?

Dracula: i see where this is going

Dracula: fine

Livinginurwalls: great, thanks!

5:05 pm

Operation redemption arc

Livinginurwalls: ok, i got someone who can take her in when the time comes

John cena: damn that was quick

Livinginurwalls: :^)

John cena: who is it?

Livinginurwalls: vlad

John cena: ok hold on just a second

5:06 pm

Dms: John cena, Stabby

John cena: opinion on vlad king?

Stabby: hes ok i guess??

Stabby: i don’t really have an opinion on him

Stabby: his quirk is neat tho

John cena: ok ty

Stabby: ???

5:07 pm

Operation redemption arc

John cena: ok we’re good on that front

Livinginurwalls: great! :^)

Chapter Text

3:46 pm

3 parents 7 kids

Stabby: ok two things

Stabby: first of all the gc name needs to be updated now that toru’s here

Stabby has changed the chat name to 3 parents 8 kids

Stabby: thats better now

Stabby: second thing is i’m bored

Stabby: y'all wanna bond by sharing our tragic backstories? I can go first

Stabby: only if you wanna of course

Stabby: @everyone?

A raisin: i’m pretty sure y’all know mine already but sure

Kentucky fried fuck: oh boy 

Shiggy: you have to be a level 7 friend to unlock my tragic backstory

Stabby: thats ok shiggy you dont have to if you dont wanna

Goth mom: actually can i go first?

Stabby: of course!

Goth mom: great

Goth mom: i didn’t join willingly

A raisin: what the hell???

Goth mom: at the ripe old age of 17 i died in a villain attack

Goth mom: so all for one took my corpse and made me into a nomu

Goth mom: i wasn’t supposed to be sentient so he had me be basically a nanny

Goth mom: i didn’t have my memories at first either but they slowly came back

Goth mom: my name isnt even kurogiri 

Stabby: do you want us to call you something else?

Goth mom: no its fine

Goth mom: can’t let you guys know my secret identity lol

Stabby: ok well let us know if that changes ok?

Goth mom: ok

A child: so ur a zombie?

Stabby: you cant just say that dude

Goth mom: nah it was funny

Goth mom has changed their name to Zombie mom

A child: lol

Zombie mom: alright well thats it for my story

Zombie mom: whos next

Stabby: ill go!

Stabby: my parents were quirkist assholes who stopped loving me when my quirk came in and kicked me out when i got expelled from school for picking fights with other students

Zombie mom: hey quick question

Stabby: yeah?

Zombie mom: when did that happen?

Stabby: i was in 8th grade

Zombie mom: lovely, are they still around?

Stabby: disappointingly the answer is yes

Zombie mom: interesting

Stabby: but yeah long story short my parents dont love me

Stabby: whos next :)

Kentucky fried fuck: you wanna hear mine?

Stabby: only if youre willing to share

Kentucky fried fuck: ok this might make u hate heroes more that you already do btw

Kentucky fried fuck: the hero commission raised me to be their perfect little hero

Kentucky fried fuck: so i dont have shitty parents i have a shitty government branch

Kentucky fried fuck: they still control almost everything i do

Kentucky fried fuck: they check my phone (i keep this chat on a secret phone dw), they restrict what i eat, and they keep track of what i buy

Kentucky fried fuck: some other stuff too much i dont have time to list it all

Stabby: wow you were right i do hate the hero commision even more now

A raisin: like i said i'm always willing to kill them for you 

A raisin: jsut say the word

Stabby: jsut

Kentucky fried fuck: jsut

Zombie mom: jsut

A child: jsut

Magnetic personality: jsut

Chad: jsut

Magician dad: jsut

John cena: jsut

Once: jsut

Shiggy: get his ass

A raisin: i hope you all die

Kentucky fried fuck: :’(

A raisin: not you

Kentucky fried fuck: :)

Chad: that was kinda gay

Once: money in the jar dabi

A raisin: i think we should get rid of the jar

Chad: no <3

Stabby: anyone else wanna trauma dump on main?

A raisin: did i ever tell you about my mom?

Stabby: i dont think so

A raisin: great

A raisin: i’m sure you all know where she is right?

Stabby: i think so?

A raisin: well shes been in there since shoto was really young

A raisin: it’s not really my place to tell you why but yeah that was kind of my breaking point

A raisin: so i left

Stabby: have you seen her since then?

A raisin: no

Stabby: you should go see her

A raisin: i’m a wanted criminal toga

A raisin: we both are

Stabby: oh yeah

Stabby: @everyone i think it’s time for a cuddle pile

Stabby: we’ll go to my room since i have more soft surfaces

A child: omw

Magnetic personality: lmao that was the fastest ive seen that kid run

A child: shut up

John cena: wish i could join :(

Stabby: @zombie mom?

Zombie mom: i can pick you up toru

John cena: that would be nice ty kuro

4:07 pm

Dms: John cena, Zombie mom

John cena: you could also say hi to aizawa, present mic, and midnight

John cena: actually no, i’m making you say hi to them before we go

Zombie mom: i figured you would

Zombie mom: i’m outside school grounds now

John cena: ok i’m coming

Chapter Text

4:17 pm

Class 1-A chat

Flex tape: hey uhhhh

Flex tape: did anyone else just see what i think i just saw

Flex tape: i’m not sure i actually saw it but better safe than sorry

Not a furry: maybe???? What did you see???

Flex tape: i’ll dm you

4:18 pm

Dms: Flex tape, Not a furry

Flex tape: i thought i saw th portal man from the lov????

Not a furry: ok yeah me too

Not a furry: we should definitely tell the rest of the gc

Flex tape: ok yeah i just wanted to make sure i wasnt seeing things first

4:19 pm

Class 1-A chat

Flex tape: ok it’s confirmed @Tired dad, @Presentation michael, @Chloroform, @Dad might

Flex tape: me and ojiro both saw portal guy from the lov outside the school like less than 10 minutes ago

Tired dad: sigh

Tired dad: hizashi i think it’s time

Tired dad: i dont think we can just tell them two individually

Presentation michael: perhaps

Flex tape: time for what exactly??? Hello????

Tired dad: @everyone gather round children

Tired dad: we have news to share with everyone

Tired dad: this is genuinely important so y’all better listen up

Tired dad: it’s about the league of villains

Tired dad: me, nezu, and a few other heroes have been making plans for a villain reform program, we were planning on the league being the first people to go through it as a test of sorts to prove it works

Not a furry: ok but why the league

Flex tape: and why was portal man here?

Tired dad: well the answer i gave the commission was that if we manage to reform some of the most dangerous villains it especially proves that it works

Tired dad: the real answer is that “portal man” as you call him is a close friend of me, present mic, and midnight from our ua years

Tired dad: his name is shirakumo oboro and hes also legally dead

Dumbass: one of the villains went to hero school???

Dumbass: and wdym hes legally dead??

Tired dad: when we were in our third year at ua he died in a villain attack, remember the nomu?

Dumbass: yeah

Dumbass: ohhh

Tired dad: yeah

Tired dad: he only regained his memories pretty recently

Dumbass: yikes

Hand crusher: oh we’re finally telling everyone?

Grammar police: i’m sorry finally? You knew?

Hand crusher: kind of hard not to know when dabi is my older brother and i regularly hang out with him

Grammar police: o_o

Izukuwu: shoto i think you broke him

Grammar police: did you know?

Izukuwu: yeah getting the shovel talk from a guy who tried to kill you once is a little scary

Grammar police: i can imagine

Hand crusher: damn it i told him not to

Dumbass: wait todoroki is this why you were playing valorant with crusty the other day???

Hand crusher: lol yeah

Dumbass: pls give me his @ bro

Hand crusher: no i dont trust you to not cyberbully him

Dumbass: i think he might deserve a little cyberbullying tho

Hand crusher: no

Dumbass: pls?

Hand crusher: no dont ask again

Dumbass: … fine

Dumbass: anyway @tired dad is there anyone else working on this?

Tired dad: all the people working on this are me, oboro, hizashi, nemuri, hawks, todoroki, and nezu

Dumbass: hawks???

Hand crusher: hes dating my brother

Dumbass: holy shit

Murkrow: i’m sorry your brother is the guy he was talking about during the internship?

Murkrow: the crispy motherfucker?

Murkrow: i’m gonna bully him about his taste in men later

Hand crusher: lol

4:32 pm

Dms: tired dad, john cena

Tired dad: are you busy at the moment?

John cena: no why?

Tired dad: look at the 1-a chat

John cena: ok one sec

John cena: ...oh

Tired dad: do you want to tell them or should i

John cena: i think i can do it

4:35 pm

Class 1-A chat

Murkrow: i just can’t believe it

Murkrow: but i did just think of a funny ship name for them

Hand crusher: do tell

Murkrow: burnt chicken nugget

Hand crusher: lmao i’m telling touya

Tired dad: before you do that though

Tired dad: there was one other person who is helping with this

John cena: hi

Chapter Text

4:36 pm

Class 1-A chat

Not a furry: how exactly is hagakure helping with this?

John cena: so unfortunate news y’all

John cena: now i’m just gonna put this bluntly here

John cena: im kind of a member of the league of villains

Not a furry: WHAT

Izukuwu: wait a second this is supposed to be brand new information?

John cena: yeah???

Izukuwu: oh

John cena: why didn’t you say anything???

Izukuwu: i thought it was obvious???

John cena: if it was obvious why would no one have commented on it???

Izukuwu: thats fair

Dumbass: just another thing to add to the list of reasons midoriya is terrifying

Izukuwu: im not!!!

Dumbasss: thats what they all say

Izukuwu: what does that even mean

Dumbass: idk :/

John cena: were getting off topic

John cena: midoriya how did you deduce that im in the lov?

Izukuwu: well first off not to be rude but your quirk would be very helpful for villains (equally helpful as a hero) And they clearly had some informant in the school because the press getting into the broken gate during the first week was clearly a diversion for someone already inside to break into wherever aizawa keeps the class schedule because how else would they have known about the usj and that all might would be there your quirk is good for sneaking around, then there was the training camp and how else would they have known when or where it was or even when we went to the mall how else would shigaraki have known that we were at that specific mall or what time we went so with that tidbit that means it was one of us

Izukuwu: but yeah you were just the most likely candidate because your quirk is easy for sneaking around and nobody knows what you look like and nobody else fit

Izukuwu: theres more but thats what i can think of in the moment

John cena: damn ok

John cena: btw shigaraki being at the mall was just a funny coincidence

Izukuwu: not too funny when he has his hand on u with one finger up and threatens to put the finger down

John cena: i can make him apologize

Izukuwu: damn really?

John cena: key words being MAKE him

Izukuwu: thatd be really funny to see actually

Izukuwu: lets wait till aizawas plan comes to fruition tho

Floaty: im curious what the drama is like in the league

John cena: oh boy do i have some tea to spill

John cena: ok so first of all kurogiri and mr compress are dating and theyre rlly cute together

John cena: twice and spinner have very obvious crushes on each other but neither of them wanna say anything

John cena: shigarakis not allowed to play competitive games bc hes a sore loser and keeps dusting controllers

John cena: and yall know toga (i swear shes not actually that unhinged)

John cena: well she is unhinged but not as much as you think

John cena: i think she might like need the blood to survive

John cena: but anyway

John cena: magne is the mom of the group kinda, shes pretty much the only competent adult around

John cena: mustard is literally a middle schooler and keeps trying to say hes not a child

Floaty: hes a middle schooler???

Floaty: i thought he was just short

John cena: lmao imma tell him u said that

Floaty: do it

Floaty: itd be funny

John cena: ok

4:53 pm

Dms: john cena, A child

John cena: dont question how this came up in conversation but one of the hero students just called u short

A child: WHAT

A child: who said it

John cena: himikos favorite

A child: the green one or the floaty one

John cena: the floaty one

A child: well she can fuck right off into the stratosphere then

4:56 pm

Class 1-A chat

John cena: he says and i quote “well she can fuck right off into the stratosphere”

Floaty: lmao

Floaty: is there any more tea?

John cena: before Dabi and hawks got together Dabi would frequently wax poetic about him in our dms

John cena: it was bad

John cena: like really bad

Hand crusher: idk whether to be relieved or jealous that he never sent that stuff to me

John cena: definitely relieved, I cannot stress enough how bad it was

John cena: when I say he waxed poetic I mean he actually wrote poetry

John cena: todoroki some of the worst poetry I’ve ever read in my life came from your brother

John cena: your brother is the sappiest man alive

Hand crusher: lmao sucks to suck

Floaty: feels weird that he’d go to you of all people for that

Floaty: considering you’re like several years younger than him

John cena: to be fair it’s bc I’m the most normal person he knows that isn’t his brother

Floaty: fair

Floaty: I wouldn’t wanna talk about that shit with like idk toga either

John cena: true

John cena: she would probably say something incredibly out of pocket

John cena: something like “just stab him! That’s what I always do!”

John cena: even tho that has never worked for her

John cena: not even once

Floaty: …

John cena: uraraka pls tell me it didn’t work on you

John cena: say sike right now

Floaty: well….

John cena: URARAKA

Floaty: in my defense she’s really cute

John cena: @kermit control ur gf

Kermit: but I agree tho

John cena: I’m going to cry

Kermit: I mean it’s not like actual crush territory (yet? Cant rule it out, you never know) but yeah she’s cute

John cena: screaming crying throwing up

John cena: anyway letch change the subject

Kermit: letch

Floaty: letch

Dumbass: letch

Izukuwu: letch

Assid: letch

Flex tape: letch

Hand crusher: letch

Not a furry: letch

Presentation michael: letch

Angry pomeranian: get her ass

John cena: damn ok

John cena: even present mic???

Presentation michael: i wasn’t even looking at the chat i just sensed that it happened

John cena: thats lovely

Chapter Text

6:15 pm

3 parents 8 kids

John cena: i have unfortunate news for everyone

Magician dad: ???

Chad: what is it?

John cena: the bet is over

Magnetic personality: what bet?

Magnetic personality: wait

Magnetic personality: oh no

Shiggy: oh dear god

Goth mom: concerning

A raisin: lmao

Once: delightful!

Chad: please, tell me its not true

A child: lol

Kentucky fried fuck: what the fuck is everyone talking about

Stabby: well you see 

Stabby: long ago everyone made a bet

Kentucky fried fuck: yeah i gathered that

Stabby: shhh let me finish

Stabby: the bet was that “stabbing isnt a valid form of flirting” and it would never work for me

Stabby: based on what toru just said

Stabby: i’m guessing she just got confirmation that it did

Stabby: so now everyone owes me money

Kentucky fried fuck: thats hilarious 

Stabby: the only question is @john cena

Stabby: who was it?

John cena: …

Stabby: well?

John cena: it was two of the hero students 😔

John cena: uraraka and tsuyu

Stabby: HA

Stabby: but also 😳

Goth mom: the fact that it was multiple even makes me concerned for the next generation of heroes

Kentucky fried fuck: yeah same

Once: well I for one think they’ll be better than the current heroes

Kentucky fried fuck: oh don’t get me wrong I absolutely think they’re gonna do better than todays heroes

Kentucky fried fuck: I just also think they’re unwell

Shiggy: I still don’t like them

Stabby: we know shiggy

Shiggy: I think one of them found my stream the other day

Shiggy: someone sent a donation and the message called me crusty

Shiggy: I don’t use face cam

Shiggy: they clearly didn’t report me or anything they just gave me money and called me crusty

Shiggy: idk how they even found me I only have like 50 viewers on average

Shiggy: I was trying so hard to keep my composure

Shiggy: you have no idea how much effort it took to stick to my usual copy pasta and move on

Chad: how much did they donate?

Shiggy: like 10 bucks

Chad: damn that’s a good amount too

Shiggy: yeah

Shiggy: it haunts me

Chad: lmao

Shiggy: I’m willing to bet it’s the peppermints fault

A raisin: I’m not

A raisin: I doubt he’d do anything to compromise our safety

A raisin: and if it were him he’d have given more money

A raisin: since you know, it’s endeavors money and all

Shiggy: I guess

Shiggy: I’m just not fully convinced he didn’t show someone’s else my stream

A raisin: he wouldn’t

A raisin: I think one of them just found it on their own

Chad: that’s even funnier actually

Shiggy: …

Shiggy: @john cena you’ve been awfully quiet

Shiggy: you have something to share with the class?

John cena: nope

John cena: just watching the chaos unfold

John cena: OH WAIT I DK HAVE SOMETHING

John cena: I asked out my crush at school today and she said yes :]

Stabby: YOOOOOOO

Stabby: THSTS SO SICK

Goth mom: congrats!

Magician dad: proud of you toru!

Kentucky fried fuck: that’s so slay

A raisin: fuckin finally

A child: ^ agreed

Once: let me know if you need help picking out a date outfit!

Magnetic personality: if she hurts you I’ll kick her ass ❤️

Shiggy: am I the only one out of the loop on who it is?

John cena: thanks guys!

John cena: and @shiggy no you’re not I think I’ve only told dabi and kuro

Shiggy: well are you going to (as you kids say) spill the tea?

John cena: lmao never say that again

John cena: and that depends

John cena: are you still targeting the hero class?

Shiggy: idk yet

Shiggy: I’m still getting used to sensei not being in charge of everything

John cena: I won’t tell you unless you agree to stop targeting them

Shiggy: fine don’t tell me

Shiggy: I don’t care

Stabby: he’s lying

Stabby: he cares immensely actually

Stabby: the suspense is killing him

Shiggy: and I could just as easily kill you

Stabby: lol u wont

Shiggy: anyway

Shiggy: you’re not gonna sway my decision that easily toru

Shiggy: I’ll decide when I’m good and ready

6:32

Dms: goth mom, John cena

Goth mom: we both know he’ll decide to leave your class alone

Goth mom: I think they’re growing on him

John cena: I know

John cena: it’s just

John cena: how slowly he’s making the decision scares me

John cena: I’m scared he’ll flip flop last minute and hurt my friends

Goth mom: even if he does

Goth mom: and that’s a big if

Goth mom: I’ll make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone

Goth mom: ok?

John cena: ok

John cena: I trust you kuro

Goth mom: <3

John cena: <3

Chapter Text

6:47

Class 1-A chat

Izukuwu: hey @dad might where are you right now?

Dad might: my agency, why?

Izukuwu: liar

Dad might: what???

Izukuwu: you’re a liar all might

Dad might: what do you mean???

Izukuwu: I’m tracking your phone at this very moment

Dad might: oh no

Izukuwu: tell me all might, why are you there?

Dad might: listen young midoriya it’s not what you think-

Izukuwu: oh? What do I think all might?

Izukuwu: say it

Dad might: midoriya please

Angry Pomeranian: ?

Angry Pomeranian: what the hells going on here?

Izukuwu: exactly kacchan, what the hell is going on here?

Angry Pomeranian: all might what did you do?

Angry Pomeranian: izuku doesn’t get like this for no reason

Angry Pomeranian: last time he was like this I broke one of his action figures and tried to hide the evidence

Izukuwu: I can tell you exactly what’s going on kacchan (you remain unforgiven for that little incident by the way)

Izukuwu: he’s at my house

Izukuwu: with my mother

Angry Pomeranian: oh no

Izukuwu: so

Izukuwu: whatcha doin there?

Dad might: I swear it’s nothing

Worlds best mom: izuku honey I just invited him over for dinner, that’s it

Worlds best mom: nothings going on

Izukuwu: fine

6:53

Dms: Izukuwu, dad might

Izukuwu: two things

Dad might: oh god

Izukuwu: if you hurt her I will Detroit smash you into oblivion as you beg for a mercy that will never come

Izukuwu: and i’ll tell aizawa what you did just hours before offering me your quirk, you know, leaving me on the roof of a tall building?

Dad might: noted, will not be doing that, you have my word

Izukuwu: ok :) have fun

6:54

Class 1-A chat

Worlds best mom: that was…. Easy

Angry Pomeranian: almost too easy….

Izukuwu: you thought I’d put up a big fight?

Worlds best mom: respectfully, yes

Izukuwu: nah lol

7:22

Free charger: we gonna talk about any of that

Izukuwu: nope! :)

Not a furry: just like how you don’t talk about hosu?

Izukuwu: yep!

Flex tape: midoriya I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again

Flex tape: you’d make a terrifying villain

Rock hard: yeah glad you’re on our side midobro

Izukuwu: no I wouldn’t I’m too baby faced

MOMo: that’s part of why you would actually

Hand crusher: izuku I’m saying this as someone who knows most of the league personally, you’re scarier than them sometimes

Izukuwu: :(

Free charger: fuck we made him sad y’all

Hand crusher: izuku if it makes you feel any better it’s kinda hot

Izukuwu: AOSNQJWKWM

Izukuwu: fr???

Hand crusher: fr

Free charger: midobro I think everyone here who likes men have had a crush on you at some point

Flex tape: can confirm

Izukuwu: @Angry Pomeranian 🤨

Angry Pomeranian: no comment

Izukuwu: SOXOSNWKQ

Izukuwu: KACCHAN???

Angry Pomeranian: I’m not saying shit

Izukuwu: when was this????

Angry Pomeranian: I said I’m not saying shit

Angry Pomeranian: you could not force that information out of me under threat of death

Izukuwu: awww, you embarrassed kacchan?

Angry Pomeranian: midoriya izuku if you don’t shut the fuck up you don’t even want to know what I’ll do

Izukuwu: ok fine I’ll stop lmao

Izukuwu: even though i doubt you could top what happened in middle school

Angry pomeranian: I SAID I WAS SORRY

Izukuwu: i know, and i forgave you

Izukuwu: that doesn’t mean i’m not gonna lord it over you forever tho

Floaty: hey quick question

Floaty: what happened in middle school?

Izukuwu: its a secret ;)

Floaty: great thanks

Not a furry: just like how what happened in hosu is a secret?

Izukuwu: you’re not letting that one go are you?

Not a furry: i’ll let it go when i die

Izukuwu: it’s not even that good of a secret

Izukuwu: ok well on second thought maybe it is

Izukuwu: but it’s not very hard to figure out actually

Not a furry: says the man who figured out that hagakure was secretly an lov member and didn’t tell anyone because he thought it was obvious

Izukuwu: shut

Izukuwu: but more importantly it’s not my secret to tell

Not a furry: then who’s is it

Izukuwu: @grammar police this is your problem

Not a furry: iida???

Grammar police: hmm actually i don’t want to deal with this either

Grammar police: @hand crusher you wanna tell him?

Hand crusher: sure

Hand crusher: iida tried to kill a man

Not a furry: W H A T

Grammar police: TODOROKI

Grammar police: i didn’t mean like that!

Hand crusher: call me shoto

Hand crusher: i think trying to kill someone together warrants a first name basis after all

Grammar police: SHOTO

Grammar police: in my defense it was stain

Not a furry: THE HERO KILLER???

Grammar police: i’ll admit, it wasn't one of my finest moments

Not a furry: definitely not in the top 10, no

Hand crusher: oh yeah, didn’t the police tell us not to tell anyone?

Grammar police: i forgot it wasn’t just a bit tbh

Izukuwu: oh well, acab i guess

Tired dad: i’m gonna tell tsukauchi you said that

Izukuwu: which part? He’d definitely agree with me on the acab thing

Tired dad: shit u right

Chapter Text

4:13

Class 1-A chat

Rock hard: i still cant believe iida tried to kill a man

Izukuwu: i was there and i still cant believe it

Izukuwu: wait shit isnt his brother in this chat?

Izukuwu: im even more surprised that he didnt say anything

Rock hard: yeah me too

Izukuwu: …

Rock hard: …

Izukuwu: @StillABetterHeroThanEnd*vor

Rock hard: @StillABetterHeroThanEnd*vor

StillABetterHeroThanEnd*vor: what do you want?

Izukuwu: two things

Izukuwu: first you need a shorter chat name bc god damn

Izukuwu has changed StillABetterHeroThanEnd*vor’s name to Lightning Mcqueen

Izukuwu: second, scroll up and read what was said yesterday

Lightning Mcqueen: ok lol

Lightning Mcqueen: IIDA TENYA EXPLAIN YOURSELF @Grammar police

Grammar police: uhhhh

Grammar police: i plead the fifth

Lightning Mcqueen: we’re not american??

Grammar police: rats

Grammar police: yeah there's literally no way for me to explain this and make it sound good

Grammar police: after stain did what he did i tried to hunt him down and seek revenge

Lightning Mcqueen: TENYA

Grammar police: please dont tell mom

Lightning Mcqueen: were finishing this conversation in person Tenya 

Lightning Mcqueen: get home

Grammar police: ok

Rock hard: im sorry iida i thought itd be funny

Izukuwu: im not sorry lol

Grammar police: it’s fine kirishima, its the consequences of my own actions

Grammar police: i have to go now 😔

Rock hard: godspeed soldier 🫡

Izukuwu: good luck lmao

5:22

Tired (of y’all): guys i just thought of something really funny

Tired (of y’all) has changed Tired dads name to The eraserhead baby

Not a furry: lmao???

Murkrow: holy shit 

Presentation michael: hey guess what

Tired (of y’all): what?

Presentation michael: i gave him his hero name

Tired (of y’all): noooooo

Not a furry: please tell me you didnt 

Presentation michael: i did

Presentation michael: he doesnt know so shhhh

The eraserhead baby: i dont know what?

The eraserhead baby: whats the eraserhead baby

Presentation michael: oh no

Tired (of y’all): oh boy this’ll be good

Presentation michael: shouta pls dont look it up

Presentation michael: stay in blissful ignorance 

The eraserhead baby: looking it up

Presentation michael: this is it

Presentation michael: hes gonna divorce me

Dumbass: WAIT YOU GUYS ARW MARRIED????

Presentation michael: yeah???? I swear its come up before????

Dumbass: oh my bad lol

The eraserhead baby: HIZASHI EXPLAIN

Presentation michael: SHOUTA IM SORRY I WAS 14

The eraserhead baby: YEAH, WE’RE 30 NOW

The eraserhead baby: YOU THINK THAT’D BE AMPLE TIME TO SAY SOMETHING

Presentation michael: im sorryyyyyy

Presentation michael: by the time i figured i should say something i thought it was too late

Presentation michael: i also thought nezu would have known the movie and would veto the name to be fair

The eraserhead baby: valid point

The eraserhead baby: @livinginurwalls?

Livinginurwalls: yes aizawa?

The eraserhead baby: were you aware hizashi named me after the movie?

Livinginurwalls: i was well aware, yes

The eraserhead baby: then why did you let me name myself that?

Livinginurwalls: for comedy of course

The eraserhead baby: ah yes of course

The eraserhead baby: thats how all decisions should be made

Livinginurwalls: see, now you get it!

The eraserhead baby: wait thats not actually how you make decisions is it?

Livinginurwalls: :^)

The eraserhead baby: say sike right now

Livinginurwalls: :^)

The eraserhead baby: nezu please say sike

Livinginurwalls: but aizawa, that would be lying

The eraserhead baby: @everyone why do we let him run a school again?

Dad might: to keep him busy so he doesnt try to take over the world?

Livinginurwalls: as if that would stop me

Livinginurwalls: i'm just biding my time until i can set my plans into motion 

The eraserhead baby: im sure you are nezu

Livinginurwalls: don't patronize me Aizawa, I know where you live

The eraserhead baby: k im shutting up now

Livinginurwalls: (^:

Chapter Text

12:10

3 parents 8 kids

Shiggy: ok I’ve been thinking

A child: oh is that where that smoke smell was coming from?

Shiggy: BIT RICH COMING FROM SOMEONE WHO NEVER FINISHED MIDDLE SCHOOL

A child: bit rich coming from someone who never went to middle school

Shiggy: SHUT IT

Shiggy: anyways I realized something

Shiggy: what do we even gain from trying to kill a bunch of children?

Shiggy: yeah all might teaches them and all but he’s just one hero

Shiggy: sensei never even told me what beef he had with him

Shiggy: and senseis not here for the time being

Shiggy: so why not go for the roots of the weed choking out our society

Shiggy: chop off medusas head

Shiggy: let’s dismantle the hero commission

Magnetic personality: honestly? It makes sense

Magnetic personality: going after a single hero class never made much sense to me

Shiggy: it did when sensei first explained it but after a second thought it really doesn’t

A raisin: thank god, I didn’t want to fight my brothers friends

John cena: and I didn’t want my friends to try to kill my other friends again

Magician dad: yeah it sounds good to me, it’s the commissions fault it got so out of hand

Chad: I second that

Once: and I third it

Zombie mom: hey tomura?

Shiggy: yeah?

Zombie mom: I’m proud of you

Shiggy: thanjs kurp

Stabby: lmao kurp

Stabby has changed zombie moms name to kurp

Stabby: but yeah I haven’t been interested in the hero class for quite a bit

Stabby: at least in that way

Stabby: still reeling about what toru told us tsu and ocha said

Kentucky fried fuck: wait I’ve been busy for a bit what are we talking about

A raisin: scroll up

Kentucky fried fuck: ok

Kentucky fried fuck: oh thank god

Shiggy: yeah I thought you’d like who the new target is

12:38

Operation redemption arc

Kentucky fried fuck: OH THANK GOD

John cena: woooooooooo

Kurp: yipeee

The eraserhead baby: what’s happening

John cena: shiggy said he’s gonna stop targeting the hero class

The eraserhead baby: oh damn fr?

Kurp: fr!!!

Kentucky fried fuck: now onto the only slightly less fortunate news

The eraserhead baby: oh boy

Kentucky fried fuck: they’re targeting the hero commission as a whole now

The eraserhead baby: well isn’t that lovely

The eraserhead baby: I’m tempted to let em

Kentucky fried fuck: same

Livinginurwalls: I am as well

Livinginurwalls: perhaps we can use this to our advantage

Livinginurwalls: with how corrupt the commission is, I don’t know about you, but I cannot sit idly by and let them fuck the country up like they want me to

John cena: holy shit Nezu swore

Livinginurwalls: I swear when the situation calls for it

Livinginurwalls: I’m sick and tired of the commission not letting me protect my students properly

Livinginurwalls: do you know how many students I’ve lost because some villain watched the sports festival, learned how the student’s quirk worked and decided to make a statement by attacking a child?

Livinginurwalls: it’s not zero

John cena: to be completely honest with you principal Nezu, I’m surprised nobody in my class has dropped out

Livinginurwalls: as am I hagakure

Livinginurwalls: they control the school board and they won’t let me hire more than one psychologist

Livinginurwalls: one psychologist for a school full of, lets be honest, traumatized teenagers

The eraserhead baby: I should get hound dog a gift basket or something

Livinginurwalls: please do, he’d love it, he likes peanut butter flavored stuff

Livinginurwalls: anyways, the hero commission is downright awful and they need to be taken down

Livinginurwalls: they’re way too powerful for their own good, they’re essentially a shadow government

Livinginurwalls: but unfortunately i do not want the league to put themselves in danger by trying to do it themselves

Kentucky fried fuck: damn

Kentucky fried fuck: i was kind of hoping we could let them do it

Livinginurwalls: yes but fortunately i'm already on it

Livinginurwalls: my plan is already being set in motion

Livinginurwalls: part of that plan is enacting the villain reform program

Livinginurwalls: also not to get off topic but ive never liked calling them villains

Livinginurwalls: it sounds a bit childish

Kurp: yeah ur kinda right

Kurp: but before the villain reform gets put into play i think we need to deprogram tomura a bit more

Kurp: did you know that his name isnt even shigaraki tomura?

Livinginurwalls: oh? What is his name then, i might be able to find more information on him with it

Kurp: his birth name is Shimura Tenko

Livinginurwalls: hm where do i know the name shimura

Livinginurwalls: anyways thank you for the information ill get back to you soon with what i find

1:49

3 parents 8 kids

John cena: well since you decided @Shiggy

John cena: i can finally tell you who I’m dating

John cena: it’s Mina

Shiggy: the pink one?

John cena: yeah

Shiggy: acceptable

John cena: yay

Shiggy: you should invite her over sometime

Shiggy: just so we can talk

John cena: Shigaraki Tomura you are not giving my girlfriend the shovel talk

Shiggy: you cant tell me what to do ill give her the talk if i want to give her the talk

John cena: but you’ve already tried to kill her! 

Shiggy: and?

Kurp: tomura you’re not gonna do it

Shiggy: fine but only cause you said so not because toru did

Kurp: besides, thats my job

John cena: damn it kuro i thought you were on my side!

Kurp: i am

Kurp: if i dont do it he will toru

John cena: …fine

Kurp: tomorrow night for dinner sound good then?

John cena: yeah i guess

John cena: you suck

Chapter Text

4:23 

Class 1-A chat

Assid: well guys pray for me, im boutta have dinner with the league

Floaty: ooooh tell toga i said hi!

Kermit: say hi from me as well

John cena: Dont

Dumbass: do it it’ll be funny

Assid: im gonna do it

Angry pomeranian: dont fuck it up

Assid: yessir o7

8:34

Class 1-A chat

Dumbass: did you die? @Assid

John cena: shes fine lol, were playing games rn

John cena: shes destroying shiggy in uno

John cena has sent a photo

[image id: the league of villains plus Ashido are playing uno, everyone has around 3-6 cards except for Shigaraki, who has a fistful of 17 cards and is glaring at Ashido next to him]

Dumbass: holy shit thats baeutiful

John cena: baeutiful

Flex tape: baeutiful

Angry pomeranian: baeutiful

Rock hard: baeutiful

Grammar police: baeutiful

Dumbass: even iida??? 

Grammar police: die

Dumbass: damn iida u got no chill today

Grammar police: i apologize

Grammar police: im a bit tired

Angry pomeranian: past ur bed time old man?

Flex tape: like you have room to talk mr i go to bet at 8 pm sharp

Flex tape: isnt it past YOUR bedtime???

Angry pomeranian: fuck you tape face

Angry pomeranian: ill kill you

Rock hard: no killing our friends katsuki

Angry pomeranian: ffffffffffine

Flex tape: lol

Angry pomeranian: start fucking running

Rock hard: why would you do that sero

Flex tape: OH SHIT OH SHIT

Angry pomeranian has sent a photo

[image id: Bakugo and Sero are outside the dorms. selfie style, Bakugo is smiling at the camera giving a thumbs up to the camera. on the path behind him, Sero is face down in the concrete. Limbs splayed out like a starfish.]

Izukuwu: kacchan go to bed

Angry pomeranian: fuckin make me

Izukuwu: thats Kirishimas job

Rock hard: MIDO

Angry pomeranian: YOURE NEXT DEKU

Izukuwu: welp this was fun while it lasted

Izukuwu: i leave all my all might merch to shoto

Izukuwu: ochako han have all my thirteen merch

Izukuwu: i leave iida my ingenium merch

Izukuwu: the rest of you can fight over whats left

Izukuwu: o7

Izukuwu: damn hes taking a really long time tovfeqdbvhqiew

Izukuwu: fuck

Angry pomeranian: anyway im heading to bed

Angry pomeranian: gnight

Rock hard: night!

Dumbass: night baku

10:12

Class 1-A chat

Assid: sup fuckers i have returned

Dumbass: so howd it go?

Assid: its so fun to bully crusty holy shit

Assid: looked like he was regretting all his life decisions for a second there lol

Assid: magne and twice were lovely

Assid: mustard was a little shitlord

Dumbass: as expected of a middle schooler

Assid: true true

Assid: oh yeah @floaty @kermit

Assid: toga says hi

Floaty: yayy

Kermit: nice

Assid: she also gave me her number to give to you

Floaty: ooooh 😳

Kermit: intriguing

John cena: fuck all of you for that by the way

John cena: shes gonna be so insufferable about that

John cena: and id give you two the shovel talk but like, if you hurt her i would not be the one you should worry about

John cena: shes an independent woman so to speak

Kermit: duly noted

Floaty: wouldnt dream of it

John cena: anyway im tired as shit after that so i’m going to bed

Floaty: goodnight

Kermit: night

Assid: night toru!

John cena: you go to bed too Mina

Assid: aw rats

Chapter Text

5:13

Class 1-A chat

Dumbass: im boooooooored

Flex tape: soooooooo bored

Lightning mcqueen: you could do the homework ectoplasm assigned today

Dumbass: doing homework because im bored is a fate worse than death iida

Dumbass: you dont understand

Lightning mcqueen: you’re right I don’t

Lightning mcqueen: I’m simply built different

Assid: we could play truth or dare again

Assid: that could be fun

Dumbass: nah

Dumbass: can’t do it twice thats lame

Assid: ok damn

Assid: fuck me i guess

Assid: WAIT

Assid: i have an idea @Dumbass @Flex tape

Assid: meet me in the common room

Lightning mcqueen: why do I have a bad feeling about this

Flex tape: because everything we do gives you a bad feeling?

Lightning mcqueen: yep that’ll do it

5:47

Izukuwu: what the hell is going on in the common room

Dumbass: it’s our pillow fortress

Dumbass: state your business

Izukuwu: I’m here to swear my allegiance to the reigning monarch

Dumbass: an offering must be brought!

Izukuwu: pray tell, what constitutes a proper offering?

Dumbass: three (3) sodas from the refrigerator

Izukuwu: thats it?

Dumbass: yeah

Izukuwu: k ill be back

Floaty: what the hell is happening lol

Assid: me kami and sero built a pillow fort in the common room

Assid: i’m the queen and theyre my loyal knights

Assid: and so is midoriya now i guess

Assid: wanna join? U could be a princess

Floaty: actually i have a better idea

5:53

Dms: Floaty, Kermit, Lightning mcqueen

Floaty: we need to make a rival pillow fort

Lightning mcqueen: do we though?

Floaty: yes

Floaty: because i said so

Kermit: but where though

Floaty: since they took up the whole sitting area we’ll take the adjacent dining area

Floaty: everyone grab your blankets and pillows and meet me down there

Kermit: yes my lady

Lightning mcqueen: my liege, if I may?

Floaty: yes sir Iida?

Lightning mcqueen: may I suggest that we recruit Aoyama for your noble cause?

Floaty: excellent suggestion sir Iida

Floaty added ✨Rarity✨ to the chat

Floaty: dearest Aoyama, can we convince thee to join our mission

✨Rarity✨: whatever is this mission?

Floaty: wanna build a pillow fort with us and wreak havoc on ashido’s?

Floaty: im queen, tsu and iida are knights

Floaty: do u wanna be a knight too or do u want a different title

Floaty: like a duke or a prince maybe

✨Rarity✨: i’ll be a prince

✨Rarity✨: it suits me no?

Floaty: excellent

Floaty: then we shall proceed with the plan

6:01

Class 1-A chat

Assid: what are you doing over there dear uraraka

Assid: what is this ‘better idea’ you spoke of earlier

Floaty: well, queen ashido

Floaty: what good is a kingdom without inter kingdom politics

Floaty: we’re building our own pillow fort

Assid: I see…

Assid: well played queen uraraka

Assid: well played indeed

Assid: just to recap, what roles are we all playing?

Assid: our kingdom has me the queen, and kami sero and midoriya as my knights

Floaty: we have me as the queen, tsuyu and iida as my knights, and aoyamas a prince

MOMo: ooh can I join? This sounds fun

Assid: hell yeah you can

Floaty: what role will you take lady momo?

MOMo: hmmmm well what good are knights with no swords?

MOMo: I’ll be a neutral party, I’m exchange for snacks I will provide your soldiers with weapons

Assid: fuck yes

Floaty: sending iida on a fetch quest immediately

Floaty: woah plush swords are so sick

Assid: the battle will be legendary

Floaty: I do hope you will be a worthy adversary queen ashido

Assid: likewise, queen uraraka

Floaty: whichever queen dies first loses?

Assid: sounds good

8:32

Cryptid has sent a video

(video id: havoc has been wrought in the 1-A common room. The forts are half destroyed, kids lying ‘dead’ on the floor, pillow swords lying beside them. At some point the whole class had joined in on the fun. On one side of the room Ashido is (playfully) arguing with Hagakure for betraying her for the enemy while her loyal guards Sero and Kaminari guard her. On the other side Uraraka stands with Midoriya, who joined their side halfway through, and Tsu. The three of them are discussing their battle strategies. Meanwhile on the battlefield, among their fallen foes and comrades, Aoyama holds Iida in his arms. Iida has a sword stuck under his arm. 

“Sir Iida, my love, stay with me! I can’t lose you!” Aoyama wailed dramatically.

And then he kissed Iida full on the mouth. 

Iida blushed head to toe and started sputtering embarrassed the moment Aoyama pulled away, going full robot mode. Aoyama also started sputtering and apologizing.

While that was happening, Uraraka and her entourage made their move on the enemy kingdom. Ashido and Hagakure’s argument has only continued with no signs of stopping. Kami, noticing the encroaching enemy forces, nudges Sero. the two sneak away from their queen and her lover who did not notice it happening whatsoever. Kami and Sero try ambushing the three, jumping out from behind a pillow structure, but they were ready for it. They left the two lying ‘dead’ on the floor and they moved in on the queen. 

The battle was swift. Midoriya and Tsu took on Hagakure, leaving Uraraka to deal with Ashido. Midoriya and Tsu quickly took out Hagakure with a sword to the chest. Ashido and Uraraka grappled for a bit. Uraraka managed to pin Ashido down, sword to her neck.

“Any last words?” Uraraka asked.

“Yeah just a few- long live the queen,” Ashido stabbed Uraraka in the stomach with a stuffed knife she had up her sleeve. Uraraka fell to the floor. Meaning that Ashido had just won the game as per the rules they had set.)

Cryptid: this was fucking great

Floaty: huh….

Floaty: didnt catch that with aoyama and iida earlier

Floaty: care to share @✨Rarity✨ @Lightning mcqueen?

✨Rarity✨: Je ne parle pas Anglais

Lightning mcqueen: I plead the fifth

Floaty: we’re japanese iida

Lightning mcqueen: fuck

Assid: n e ways

Assid: i dont wanna clean this up yet

Assid: what if we combine our forts and we all watch a movie?

Floaty: fuck yes

Dumbass: hell yeah

Flex tape: hell fucking yes

Dumbass: i have a suggestion

Assid: yeah?

Dumbass: legally blone?

Assid: blone

Flex tape: blone

Floaty: blone

Lightning mcqueen: blone

Izukuwu: blone

Aux cord: blone

Dumbass: where tf did u even come from jiro i didnt see you pull out ur phone?????

Aux cord: dont worry about it