Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You wake up to a blaring alarm by your head. You snatch your phone and hit snooze on the offending sound. Burring deeper into the comfy blankets and pillows. You just get into the right position and start to doze again when your phone starts blaring an alarm again. You let out a frustrated sigh before ending the alarm and forcing yourself to sit upright in bed. Already missing the comfort you had to tear yourself away from. You clumber out of bed and got dressed for work.

The sun hasn’t risen yet but you were in charge of opening the tills today so that means getting there hours before it opened to count them out before opening the store for the customers yourself. Really a manager should be opening the store with you, but with the budget cuts that only happened every other week. Plus, you had to give yourself the extra time to walk to work until your next paycheck since your car decided to give out on you yesterday.

You throw on a pair of khakis and a polo shirt with black work sneakers. You huff as you make your way to the kitchen you brew a pot of coffee and scroll through your phone while you wait for it. No new messages, not even a goodnight, love you text. You sigh again. He probably forgot again he will reply when he wakes up. you scroll through social media instead.

You look up and the pot is full, so you go to the fridge to grab some cream and proceeded to dump it and sugar into your mug until its barely even considered coffee anymore. You drink two cups of the “barely coffee” before you decide to head out, leaving the rest of the pot there in case your roommate wanted some. Monster food seemed to have better effects than any human coffee you’ve ever had. You sighed as you started to feel the literal buzz of it in your system and smiled gratefully. thank everything under the sun for monster coffee.

You make sure you have the keys to the store your lanyard and your purse before heading out the door. The sun has barely risen but the sky is now a hazy blue twilight and the few earliest birds decide to start their cheerful morning calls. They gave you a slight push of hopefulness to start your day.

The morning was always your favorite part of the day, it was always so much more peaceful than at night, though she wouldn’t give up looking up at the stars for anything.
You Began to walk through your neighborhood towards the main road. This was one of the new monster communities. That was not to say that monsters had to live only in their own communities, but this was just one of the few places a good amount decided to settle.

The rent prices here were extremely low since most of these houses were built by monsters when they first emerged years ago. But now that many have moved and bought their own properties out of town; monsters rented these homes at a price a lot lower than anywhere else in town. Which was surprising for how well built they were.

While there was not much in terms of racism towards monsters anymore -since humans noticed there were a lot more benefits to having them around than not- but some people were still skeptical about living in areas where the majority of residents weren’t human. You never saw an issue with it, you've never had any problems living with monsters, and if it meant that you could live in a spacious townhouse and only pay half what you would elsewhere then you wouldn't hear her complaining. It sure beat the alternative.

As you turn onto the main road and begin your trek down the hill you hum. you pass a wooded area, enjoying the shade and rustle of trees before passing the park. you should really go visit it sometime, it was just opened a few weeks ago, but you never found the time.

you finally reach the more populated areas and the shopping strip. you work at a nursery on the corner. While you didn’t own any plants, you would say that you enjoyed working with them, they were always buzzing with subtle energy and you always had an inkling of what they needed.

You get to the corner and go to unlock the door only to be let in by a manager instead. Huh, that was weird this week wasn’t the week for a manager to be here. You shrugged; maybe upper management decided that they could up the staffing again. You go to count the tills only to see them done already. Your manager Dina, a stout middle-aged lady with Sunkissed skin and sparse sprinkles scattered all over her; walked over when she saw you at a loss.

You felt a wave of guilt pass over you and it takes a moment to remember that the feeling isn’t yours before you start to worry. “heya hon, don’t worry about those today, all I want you to do is water and some light-cleaning today.” She gives you a warm smile, but it doesn’t match with the rolls of sadness that you know are coming off of her.

You look her over, you don’t have any reason to feel this way so you’re sure it's coming off of her. “Dina..are you alright?”

Dina flinches her smile falling a bit as biting guilt is overcome with worry, as she tries to regain her composure and donning her previous smile she waves you off with a laugh. Her heart wasn’t in it.
“you always have a knack for reading me dontcha? You don’t talk much but you have an eye on you.” She sighs, she finally lets her friendly smile fall ” I’m alright just stressed with what’s been going on.”

You know she means the extra pressure her management has put on her. The once cheery manager that was always putting off chipper vibes has been less and less over the last few months and you could probably see that even without your usual intuition on things.

“Yeah I understand, I won't pry but know I'm here to help if you need me to pick up extra work or help out somewhere. I don’t mind. “ you say, not looking her in the eye and instead of settling to eye a plant sitting on a table that you noted needed to be watered.

But you couldn’t focus long before that stilted feeling of guilt and sadness came back with added weight. You couldn’t stop yourself from looking at her from the corner of your eye. but avoiding her face.

“yeah..I'll keep that in mind.” She smiles at you before heading to the back to what you assume is do paperwork.

You go about your work watering plants before the store officially opens and letting in coworkers as they arrive. You're hit with a lazy torrent of emotions that range from indifference to passion. You school your reactions so your face doesn’t broadcast each feeling back at them. You don’t need to be labeled as manic…again. You think there are two cashiers here today so you focus on taking care of the plants, helping you dull the intensity of the undertow of everyone’s emotions. Focus and you won't get pulled under, you remind yourself.

You focus on the positive hum of the plant in front of you. That’s the thing you liked about plants, they didn’t have a complex range of emotions like people did or even animals. They were pretty simple, they beamed with good energy when it was happy and that buzzing energy dwindled to a bearly felt hum when it wasn't. You frowned when you thought about how hard humans' emotions were, you could feel what they were feeling but you couldn’t feel why they were feeling that way. With plants, it couldn’t be more straight forward. being surrounded by plants felt like finding a small quiet oasis in a world of loud clamoring emotions that you couldn’t get away from otherwise.

The rest of your shift continued on like this, going from plant to plant checking up on it, and watering it before going onto the next. You started cleaning during the second half of your shift, deciding that you didn’t want to eat lunch again as per usual since that would mean you’d have to eat your salad in front of the ferns and flowers you just took care for and it just never seemed right to do. Even if the plants didn’t seem to care. You finish up and clock out and when you gather your things from the locker to leave you're stopped by Dina.

“Hey May, do you mind if I talk to you before you head home?” shes leaning her head out of her office, and after tuning out everyone’s emotions all day you're surprised when you felt the vivid prickly feeling of remorse. You look at her skeptically before heading over to her office.

Once inside she offers for you to take a seat. You settle into a plastic chair in front of her desk and let your eyes rest on her hands instead of her face. she had them on the desk closer to her and she was fidgeting with them. Heavy guilt and fluttery anxiety.

“well, I guess I should get right to it.” She says quietly. “ you’ve been working with us for a few months now and while your work ethic is well, spectacular I’ve been tasked with letting people go this week.” You made sure to focus on her hands and how she picked at her nails before any of her warring emotions could permeate into you. And you could almost tell your lack of response made her feel worse.

You sighed. You really liked this job but you couldn’t lie and say you didn’t see this coming. With the amount of business they were getting and with the there being a new management team this was bound to happen. the only surprise was that it hadn't happened sooner. plus It didn’t help your case that you were one of the newer associates. so, of course, this would happen only once your car was out of commission.

“I really tried to keep you on board too, I even broke some rules trying to do it. Only managers are really supposed to open the store alone... And I’ve fired the people actually deserving of it before I came to you but I got a call today and I needed to lay off three more people.”

you grimaced, three? there were only ten of you working here as is. having only seven hands on deck to keep the plants alive and help customers that was pretty much half of a skeleton crew. what was worse was that you knew the remaining people here and they were all hard-working too.

You looked up over to her keeping your eyes on her forehead and smiled at her in understanding, even if you weren’t happy about it you didn’t feel any sort of ill will from her and she felt so bad about having to do this that it was more than enough of a punishment. “It’s fine Dina, I know this isn’t personal. Plus you have two kids, I know they come first.” You shrug. You sigh again before digging for the store key and lanyard before placing them on her desk.

When you look up you make the mistake of accidentally looking her in her eyes. Any barrier you had against the cascade of her emotions broke down and you could feel the striking burden of her sadness and a single tear dropped. You freeze when you feel it and wipe it off your face. Immediately breaking eye contact to fix the damage but it had already started. You need to leave soon or it gets worse.

Dina immediately begins apologizing,” c’mon hon don’t cry you're gonna make me cry!" oh god please don't to internally beg.
"Know this isn’t you leaving on bad terms and ill give you a glowing reference to any place you apply for. Uh.. here” she scrambles through her desk drawer and grabs a note pad jotting something down as you fidget in your seat.

You really need to leave. Her feelings are becoming oppressive now that you’ve slipped up and you breathe heavily as you try to suppress it. She tears off the page and hands it to you.
“those are some similar nursery’s and flower shops, you seem to really love plants and you’ve shown you know how to handle them. I know most of the owners so..” her bottom lip trembles only slightly and if you didn’t feel what she was you wouldn’t be able to tell at all. She lets out a rough breath when you take it gingerly.

you try to smile at her again but you couldn’t even fool yourself with it this time. “well I'm going to head out, it was nice working with you,” you say, and you mean it. She was as motherly as motherly could be and was always a warm person.

“it was a pleasure” she nods and her voice wobbles some. You get up to leave but before you can pass the threshold you almost missed it Dina says a quiet “take care of yourself.”

You hurry to leave the store as fast as possible without drawing attention to yourself. You needed to distance yourself from Dina before you bawled. But at the same time feeling forlorne, you were dripping with the feeling of missing her. You shook your head and reminded yourself that it was just a compounding echo of emotions. You were going to miss Dina and she was going to miss you, you could feel that but the looping feedback was making it feel like you were mourning a passing family member not parting ways of a friend. You groaned to yourself as one or two more tears fell that weren’t your own, but luckily the feeling ebbed when you got to the park.

you hadn’t even realized that you had gotten here so quickly or that this was your destination, but you guess that you had been thinking about visiting recently. you were really close to home and about ten minutes’ walk away from her now and the only feelings you were left with were your own. You were left with a warm gooey mess of embarrassment and the brittle knot of frustration from the encounter. Your breathing finally settled as you took in your surroundings.

You were at the start of a path paved with herringboned bricks and lined with a narrow bed of flowers on both sides. There were what looked like freshly planted trees that dotted the open field of pathways before some led to the mouth of the woods. The steady stream of positive energy from the well-maintained plants around you ebbed away whatever unwanted emotions were left and you welcomed it before setting down one of the paths.

As you walked through this park you wished that you had visited sooner. There was little to no one else here at the park which was a blessing. At the mid-way point between the start of the trails and the woods was a large fountain. On which a goat monster and a human held hands triumphantly. You were pretty sure that was supposed to be the king of all monsters, but he wasn’t wearing any kind of robe or crown so you weren’t so sure. The human was also casually dressed in a t-shirt and shirt.

You walked up to the small plaque that was welded to the side. “donated in celebration of the unification of monsters and humans for the first time in millennia, may we have peace for many millennia to come.” You smiled at its message before finding a nearby bench to relax on.

This area had an overabundance of flowers growing here. They were well kept but also had a wild beauty to the way they could grow. The flowers here were beaming with energy and were justly yellow and of all kinds. Roses, tulips, and daffodils all converged to practically yell the message of joy, friendliness, and new beginnings. There was another yellow type of flower mixed in but you have not seen it before so you couldn’t put it with a name.

You start to wonder if whoever planted these know what the flowers meant or just really, really liked yellow. However, you do not have much time to spare on the thought when your phone starts to ring. it wasn't your boyfriend's ringtone to your disappointment. You rummaged through your purse to find the darn thing and check to see who it is. It was your best friend Emily. You havent had the chance to text her in the last few days, with how crazy some recent events have been.

“oh hey, Em what's up?”

“what's up?? you would never believe what’s happened to me!” she says dramatically.

You wait a moment for her to continue but when she doesn’t you say “are you going to tell me or…”

“well I would but I sort of need you to come visit me for moral support! I know you're usually busy but this is an emergency and plus we haven’t seen each other in foreeevverrr and you're the only one I can count on for this sorta thing.” She rambles on.

“uh, a visit? I don’t know if I can do that today Em, my care isn’t really working and I sorta need to get a job situation sorted out-“

“ohhhh come onn how about in a week then is that enough time for you to get stuff together? This is really important!”

“oh uh sure that should be fine but what do-“ you hear a car horn and several voices yelling for Emily to come out in the distance.

“OH! I’m sorry I need to go they’re waiting outside! I'll call you back in a bit k love ya byeeee” the line went dead before you could say anything else. You look at your phone incredulously. Yup, she hung up. You huff, you love her but you also want to strangle her. But at least she’s happy.

Watch the fountain for a little bit longer before you realize that it’s getting late and the sun is getting pretty low. You get up and decide to go home. Might as well get home so you can get up bright and early to figure out what you're going to do about your job.

Chapter Text

When you get home you're not surprised to see that you are alone. Lulu gets off work in another hour or so. You go put on something more comfortable before deciding on what to make for dinner. you chuff off your work clothes and throw it over into your hamper before throwing on a pair of pajama shorts and a t-shirt. You text your boyfriend that you needed someone to talk to if he had the time. The message was delivered but you don’t think you’d be getting an answer anytime soon.

As you head back to the kitchen you think about what you could make for tonight, grabbing the apron that hung next to the fridge. A frilly dream-cicle colored thing that almost looked like a dress when you strapped it around you. You hummed contentedly feeling in the mood for something warm and comforting, so maybe a nice stew? That wasn’t too difficult to make, and you think that lulu might appreciate something hearty too.

Luckily, root vegetables and all monster produce were never seasonal. Vegetoids made any kind of requested vegetable year-round, from parsnips to tomatoes. Which you were grateful for since parsnips were your favorite root vegetable. You pulled out meat from the fridge, it was monster food too. You know humans couldn’t survive on monster food alone, but you made sure to take your supplements and eat some vegetables and fruits here and there.

When monster’s first arrived and their food finally hit the market as a delicacy the meat the sold could often be found in a small section included with vegetarian products since monster food was just magic made to look and taste like other things no animals were harmed in the making of it. Which was like a blessing of ice-cold water on a dry summer day.

You missed eating meat but could never stop your guilt from ruining your appetite when you could so vividly remember the feeling of terror and hopelessness when you went with your dad to hunt deer years ago. That was before you knew how to separate your emotions from others... sighing you took the meat out and put it on the counter wrapped up in your thoughts.

you loved eating meat, but you hated knowing that having to do something so necessary would have to cause a living animal that sort of trauma. It did not help that the more negative emotions lingered in the meat after death. You kept looking for silver linings for your “gift” but over the years you were becoming more and more convinced it was nothing more than a curse.

You smiled when you remembered when you had seemingly spontaneously become vegetarian the next day and told your father. He made the most aghast face like he was personally offended and proceeded to cook grilled ham and cheese, and dinosaur nuggets when that didn’t work with and you gagged when you touched it dad broke out the big guns and made bacon. Bacon, it was a low blow back then you used to be completely enamored with bacon. But it turns out the worse the stronger the emotions and trauma were the stronger it stuck to the meat.

You remember crying for the pigs, sobbing and hiccupping and your dad scooped you up into a hug. He knew a little about what was going on with you, but he didn’t understand what was going on with you since he didn’t have the ability himself.

“don’t worry pumpkin I wont give you any more meat, um.. what about beans instead” he asked gently taking you away from the plate and into the kitchen bouncing you on his hip gently.

Your crying ebbed and you gave an affirmative tearful grunt. He sat you on the counter and wiped your tears away, he was concerned and calm. Your dad was always calm, and it put you at ease.

“Are you gonna to be sad that I don’t like meat anymore?” you asked him. Back then he loved taking you fishing and showing you nature and how to hunt. Even so, looking back at it now was such a stupid question.

He kneeled so you were at eye level with him. Kind brown eyes hooded by tented eyebrows. Your dad had always told you to not tent your eyebrows or you’d get lines there you reached out to poke the space between them like he always did.

“it’s okay pumpkin if you feel better not eating meat that fine by me you’re always gonna be my little girl.” He chuckled

“you do know that vegetarian means you have to eat a lot more veggies, right?” he said bopping you on the nose “that’s every parent’s dream!”

Your face twisted at the idea and your dad bust out into another good-natured guffaw.

That had been so long ago, you must have been around ten. You smiled as you finished prepping the parsnips. You should really give him a call and see how he is doing with the new baby. You finish prepping the rest of the vegetables before starting on the meat pulling out pots and pans when you hear the front door open and shut.

“Is That you lulu?” you call out from the kitchen. you know it is but it was a habit to always ask. You continue to dig under the cabinet for that one pot you needed.

“yeah! You making dinner?” she calls back.

“yup! I almost-“ you grunt as you try to unjam a pan from the stack. It was too big for the bottom cabinet and had been crammed in there at some point.

“you need help in there?” she calls from the living room to which you replied with the clanking of stacked pans tumbling to the floor from the bottom of the cabinet as you finally freed the pot you had been looking for, but unfortunately you land hard on your butt in the process.

you hear gentle laughter from the doorway. You look over to see lulu smiling down at you still in her work clothes and her purse. Eyes filled with mirth and the calm tinkling of her cool demeanor laps at you like the tide on a midnight beach. You feel flustered at having been caught doing whatever it was you were doing.

“give me a minute to get settled and ill be over to help.” She says as she continues down the hallway down to her room.

You huff as you try to refocus yourself, grateful that monsters did not put off the same kind of energy that people often did. You start putting the scattered pans back under the cabinet doing your best to stack them biggest to smallest, but you knew it would not stay that way for long.

You stand with the pot and put it on a burner with a dollop of oil to coat it before turning on the flame at low heat.

She returns shortly after, and you always had to remind yourself of just how big monsters were sometimes. Lulu, being considered incredibly short by other monsters beats you in height by about eight inches. With you being five foot-and three quarters- you know that being taller than you is not exactly a trophy, but she was still sort of tall by your standards. Plus, her ears gave her an additional two feet on you to your dismay.

“so, what do you need me to do?” she asks stepping in and grabbing her own apron which is a lot plainer, printed with a simple white and blue checker pattern.

You gesture over to the meat “there really isn’t much to do but if you want to cut the roast into cubes that would help.” You say.

She shrugged taking the meat out of its packaging. “hey, do me a favor and don’t look.” You turn away from her while you go to pull some seasonings out of its rack. You hear a few noises behind you but you don’t peek.

“alright you can look,” to see the meat unmoved and perfectly cut into cubes, not a knife insight. unsurprised you set the seasoning on the counter.

Monsters were not supposed to let magic be witnessed by humans, not because of any human laws but were because of some monster laws from what you could remember. You didn’t know why they had these sorts of laws in place, but you didn’t really ask anyone about it either. They were sworn not to use it in front of humans but that didn’t stop them from using it and keeping humans from “seeing” it.

Lulu felt comfortable enough to be able to use her magic around you without getting her in trouble. It felt nice to be trusted with what felt like an unspoken secret. Lulu knew vaguely of your “gift” after letting some of it slip after a night of talking and too much wine and she has not brought it up or told anyone. Or maybe you were overthinking it and using magic around you was more for convenience but with what you could feel from her that was not the case.

You smiled at her “nice you cut it a lot better than I would’ve.” You say grabbing a bamboo spatula and the meat before carefully sliding the meat into the bot to brown. You bounce on you heals in anticipation as the meat hisses and sizzles on contact.

“I'm going to mix up the seasoning, “she looks over the ingredients you have out “were making stew, right?” her ears perk up and you feel zipping feeling of subdued excitement. You smile not looking at her as you make sure all the cubes get seared.

“yeah, I was in the mood for it, and by all means, if you feel like mixing things up go for it, I’m not really following any recipe.”

She sets out a bowl and gets to work as you both settle into idle chit chat while you both cook. “so I haven’t really seen you in a while with our work schedules being so different and all, also I’ve been meaning to thank you for making the coffee in the morning that’s cool of you.”

“yeah I’ve been pretty busy, and I feel like things have been going every way but right lately.” You sigh “its fine though, and it’s no big deal I was taught that it’s rude to just eat and not share with the rest of the house.”

Lulu hums contemplatively “so is that why I find a plate wrapped up for me on nights I get home late? You don’t have to go out of your way you know.” she dumps in the vegetables and the seasoning. You feel gentle feelings of playfulness and pleasant contentedness.

“I know I don’t have to, I want to plus you can’t say you don’t like it when people eat the food you make and enjoy it” you raise an eyebrow at her.

Lulu has snuck her pastries into your lunch on several accounts. Not that you were complaining you loved cinnamon buns and hers were always so cute.

Lulu rolls her eyes and nudges you “you love eating my pastries as much as I like baking them!” she laughs lightly a slight dusting of a blush on her face “don’t deny it I’ve seen you go and sneak one before they were even out of the oven for five minutes!”

It's your turn to get flustered “hey, that was one time! and I’ve learned my lesson I scalded the heck out of my tongue.” You frowned at the memory of not being able to even taste the gooey cinnabun after scorching your taste buds.

You had pouted that whole week until it went back to normal. "I have a sweet tooth..." you muttered.

You’re startled by Lulu’s loud belly laugh. She’s doubled over by the counter and you watch her in shock. You’ve known her for a few months, and she was always had such a cool demeanor that almost bordered on stoic you’ve seen her chuckle sure, but you never saw her laugh like this.

Tranquil content, fuzzy fondness, tickling joy. You’re confused about what you did but at least she wasn’t laughing at you, you don’t think anyway.

“ you okay?” you ask teasingly as she calms down. You still don’t know what was so funny.
One of her ears flicked as she tried to steady her breathing and right her self. “hoo, sorry that was good. Just..your face and you running off with that pastry” she lets out another chuckle. While she was laughing you had finished ingredients and covered the pot. Setting an hour timer.

“so May,”

You hum in acknowledgment as you go to get the bottle of wine from the cabinet raising an eyebrow and gesturing a wine glass at her to which she nods.

“I’ve been meaning to ask; I know you said things have been going downhill but what’s been going on?” she takes the glass of Moscato that you hand her before you pour yourself one thinking about what you want you to say. "you're typically a quiet person but lately when I do catch you you've looked pretty down."

You worry that she’s asking out of courtesy but don’t feel any discomfort or pity from her just a quiet concern.

“Well for one, things between me and my boyfriend lately aren’t all that great...I don’t think I'm doing enough and I miss him” you say as you take a ginger sip of the sweet wine.

Her ears perk up ”I didn’t even know you had a boyfriend, he never comes around.” she says her eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“Yeah, we’ve been dating long-distance since I’ve moved to this area.”

Lulu seems to be in deep thought ears lowering a bit before she mutters “humans are weird...” she says more to herself than to you.

Her ears snap to attention when she realized what she said “oh no offense or anything! just monsters stick close to their partners usually soul bonded or not, so him not coming with you is… different” trying to parse together her thoughts as she speaks.

You wave it off, you didn’t feel any ill intent from her just confusion “no offense taken ill tell you right now that almost every human is weird.” You take another sip of your wine, larger this time.

“I’d be ecstatic If he came with me, but he has too many friends where he lives now and doesn’t want to leave our hometown.” You shrug dejectedly.

“oh? Your home town huh, how come you decided to leave?”

You look away from her to think about how you wanted to respond to that. You drank your wine to stall unintentionally finishing the glass. “uh, I guess expanding my roots and Ebbot was the closest city with the most job opportunities.” And not to get away from someone.

Lulu leans back on the counter appraisingly and nods in understanding. You refill your glass and sigh. Lulu holds her hand out for the bottle and tops her glass up before setting the bottle back on the counter.

“I guess that’s what I thought anyway, I just lost my job because they couldn’t afford to keep me anymore.” You chuckle dejectedly and drink your wine.

Neither of you says anything for a moment before looking between her and yourself before almost sputtering your wine. Almost going into uncontrollable giggles. “oh no look at us, drinking wine in aprons and cooking in damn near the dark while we talk about my life”

you go and turn on the lights before the last of the fading light could leave us blind in the kitchen.

Lulu snrks at that, “most monsters have some form of night vision I would’ve been fine, but hey I was thinking… How badly do you need a job?”

she gives you a thoughtful look and you feel hopeful, and you couldn’t tell who was feeling it this time.

“my sister and I have been understaffed at our shop and to make it worse she’s due to have her baby soon and she’ll need to be on bed rest for the next few weeks…so if you wanted a cashier job I have a position open.” She shrugs and drinks her wine.

You look at her incredulously. She was offering you a job. “you would be alright with being the boss of your roommate?” you ask.

“well, I know how you live, and where you live.” She teases, she gestures to you with her wine glass and smiles. “you’re honest the tidiest person I know you shouldn’t have any problem running a register.”

You feel a sense of pride and approval and there is that blooming hopefulness again and it has gotten stronger. You hope it wasn’t compounding. You curl around your glass and look away.
“Are you sure?” you ask her. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to offer-“

“I never feel obligated to do anything,” she says seriously before her face softens and her ears droop some and the barely dusting of embarrassment is back. “if it would make you feel better It would be helping me out and I could put you on a short probationary period if that helps.”

You look up from your glass. About to speak when the timer goes off and you realize that the stew was about to bubble over. You turn off the heat and the timer carefully taking the lid off the pot with a dishtowel.

“sure, when do you want me to start?” you smile sheepishly at her hoping the steam gives you an out for why your face is so flushed.

Lulu smiles back cheerfully “we start tomorrow,” finishing her glass before going to set the table.

You sigh feeling the burden of the last few days lessen as you ponder over what just happened.

Lulu pops her head back into the kitchen and startles you. "Oh and if you ever decide to dump your boyfriend gives me a heads up, I know a ton of monsters that would love to have a cute human as a partner." she leaves you sputtering and not being able to find words. y-you had a boyfriend!

you didn't know if you felt offended or flattered at being called cute. it was often used as a synonym for short. you smile and upturn your glass and finish whatever is left in it. Maybe things were looking up. You’re looking forward to tomorrow.

Chapter Text

You roll over in your bed feeling the cool side of your sheets beneath you as you go to check your phone. It’s six-thirty in the morning. Your body must still be on its sleep schedule from when you worked at the nursery.
Lulu would not be up for a few more hours since the store didn’t open this early. You’re pleasantly surprised that you have a notification from Scott, but it wasn’t long before your smile turned sardonic. of course, you got this an hour after you decided to go to sleep. You inwardly groaned at missing the opportunity to talk to him after so long.

Baescotti: Hey just got this, you okay? You know I luv u right?

you: yeah dont worry about it.
things have been rough but i talked to a friend abt it and theyre going to help me out

you go to put your phone away expecting him to reply hours later, so your heart skipped a beat when you hear your boyfriend’s text tone and your phone vibrating in your hand. He hasn’t had the chance to reply back so fast in weeks.
You sat upright in your bed as you read the message.

Baescotti: oh that’s good! Im glad you got things figured out. Btw ur mother keeps asking me about u
u should talk to her shes worried

shes not worried she just wants him to feel like she is. Letting out a breath you type out your reply. you think.

You: shes fine I told her id talk to her when im ready and she shouldn’t be roping you into this mess

Baescotti: don’t be rude that’s your mother plus ur mom and mine talk and even if she didn’t tell me these things then my ma still would
Also your mom is saying some pretty dark stuff
is wut she saying true? About what you used to do

You feel a hot lead ball of anger start to build in your chest, this was typical. You wondered what sort of lies she was spinning now.
Maybe she was telling people that you would curse at her or treat her badly or something so when you left so you wouldn’t have to feel guilty. Or some other dumb thing she could make up without me being there.
You: don’t know what shes saying now but I can guarantee its not true, it never is.
Try not to talk to her too much if u can I don’t need to have her stressing u out too

Baescotti: shes really nice though I don’t see how she could
u sure that youre not being dramatic

That same heat in your chest rose up into your throat making it tight as you grip your phone. You didn’t want to be mad at Scott, you knew how your mother could be and without you actually there to defend yourself things like this were going to keep happening.

You: yeah im sure, this is her way of trying to get me to come back I just don’t know why she feels the need to do this though
ill figure out a time for when Ill talk to her about it.

Baescotti: nono I promised her I wouldn’t say anything to u she said she was afraid you would blow up on her

You resist the urge to throw your phone, what was she telling people exactly? that I hit her when I get angry at her or something? Instead, you fume over your phone as you try to calm yourself down enough to text back.

You: I wouldn’t stoop down to her level scott
plus im way too busy to waste time doing something like that

Which was true, you had been doing well about not thinking about her or anything related to her since you’ve moved to Ebott.

You: but more anyway how have u been?
I missed you

You could see Scotts typing bubble appear and disappear a few times before replying.

Baescotti: ive been good
Hey sorry I have to go
I need to write this paper

Any of that subdued heat that has settled in your chest has blown away leaving you feeling cold and empty.

You: ?
could I call then
That way u can multitask

Baescotti: maybe next time
I need to get this done.

You stared down at the period at the end of his sentence and frowned he usually didn’t use them unless he wanted to end a conversation when he was upset.

You: hey is everything okay?

He types for a while, backtracking a few times before sending

Baescotti: yeah
Just stressed about school work
Should really get started
Have a good day love you

You: I love you too

Setting your phone down you breathe in a few settling breaths, he was acting sorta weird. Maybe your mother was getting to him.
The day hasn’t even started, and it feels like you’ve been awake for a year without sleep. You drag your hand over your face, no longer feeling comfortable in your bed. Since you are the only one up you might as well take a shower, possibly to steam away that whole conversation.

You gather your clothes and glance back to your phone that sits abandoned on your bed. You decide to leave it there instead of bringing it with you to play music, it's too early and you would just get it wet when you went to skip a song. Your phone sits there silently, and you can’t help but hope he gets a chance to talk to you soon.
thoughts cloud your mind as you gather up some decent looking work clothes and head to the bathroom. Turning on the water to make it just hot enough to pleasantly fog up the bathroom before stripping down. Was he mad at you? What did you do?

You caught a glimpse of your naked self in the mirror. A long face framed in black unruly curly hair and tired black eyes. thin, not curvy where it counted or anywhere for that matter.
Your eyes traveled down to the scar across your stomach. It ran from the bottom left rib down to almost your right hip. You traced it with your fingers gingerly feeling the raised skin that had been stretched and faded with age.

“or maybe he doesn’t want you anymore,” you say quietly to yourself. Easing your way into the shower.
Scott had seen your body or parts of it. While you hadn’t done more than a kiss, his hands had still traveled along your body when you did.
That is when and he came across the scar. He didn’t ask where it came from, but he never touched you like that again. At the time you had thought it was sweet, maybe he was trying to be considerate of you. He knew you weren’t willing to have sex yet or delve too deep onto that path until you were ready, but somehow now you weren’t so sure that was his reasoning.
But then again, he did always tell you that it was okay that you had wanted to wait until you were ready. He said he had wished that he’d waited to lose his virginity.

You dunk your head into the water, getting your hair drenched letting it flatten against your back.
When you first met Scott in your neighborhood when you were a kid you were so excited to meet someone who you couldn’t read. He was the first person in your life like that.
After meeting people who were open books -and feeling like you were being forced to read those same books all your life - finding a person that you had to learn about and had to choose to read was thrilling.

But now you couldn’t find yourself wanting to do anything else but wanting to know how he was feeling. You snatched up the two in one shampoo and squirted a good amount into your hand, setting it back down before scrubbing almost violently at your scalp.

Obsessing over the situation would not help but you felt like something had changed and you don’t know what. Not paying attention you let the shampoo get into one of your eyes. Yelping, you scrambled for the shower wand tilting your head back and rinsing your face before thoroughly washing your hair.

Leisurely you scrub your body before moving on to squeeze and massage the last of the suds from your hair. You dry yourself off and wrap your hair in a towel, gingerly putting on your clothes while balancing the tower of hair on your head. You button up your white short-sleeved shirt.

You quickly brush your teeth before you leave the bathroom, taking your towel and dirty clothes with you. As you made your way to check on your phone again you throw your clothes into your nearly full hamper that sat by your dresser. Maybe you should do laundry when you get home tonight you mused absentmindedly.

You weren’t expecting any texts you just wanted to check the time. You had been in the shower for well over an hour. You shrugged, those be the dangers of showering without music. time flowed differently in there without it.

Pocketing your phone you towel dry your hair before pulling it up into a tight bun, keeping your hair from escaping into a messy poof. Your stomach grumbled, and you could start to hear some quiet shuffling from the room beside you. Lulu must be up, now would be a good time to start breakfast.

Tossing the towel into the hamper with the rest of your clothes you make your way down the hall into the kitchen, a decent-sized room with large windows and well-made shaker cabinets, though you wouldn’t be able the name what kind.

But you were hummed contentedly as the sun had only just begun to shine through the thin white curtains over the window beaming onto the large countertop where you kept a butter dish and coffee maker.

The simple pleasures of having a butter dish. You chuckled at the memory of getting it and telling Lulu you were ‘excited to butterdish bread’. she just leveled you with the most disgruntled face you have ever seen, which you smiled at. Her face said she hated it but you felt her beaming on the inside.

Even you knew that joke was pretty bad, but you felt like your dad would have liked it.

You grab a mixing bowl and one of the pans from under the cabinets, luckily this time you were able to take it from the top instead of digging around.
You set the pan on the stove, sliding a tab of butter into it before turning it on low heat.

You settle on the idea of pancakes for today, you stare at the pack of bacon in the fridge ultimately deciding that you don’t want to be popped with bacon grease today. monster food or not.
Instead, you grab the pack of raspberries or the lime green monster equivalent from the fridge before closing it. you go to measure out the ingredients for the pancake batter. Once done, you pour the mixture into the pan. You smile at the smell of sweet vanilla.

There's a shuffling that comes down the hallway before you see Lulu, she's still in her pajamas which have tiny blue crescent moons printed all over. “ good morning,” you smile at her in greeting. Prodding the edges of the pancake to test how much longer they would take.

“’mornin’” she greets back yawning, as she rubs the sleep from one of her eyes. “I thought I heard you up, making breakfast this early?” she asks leaning tiredly against the doorframe of the kitchen.

“it's early? But its almost eight AM?” you glance down at your phone then back at her.

She waves me off “ nevermind, so what’re you making?” she asks eyeing the pan curiously.

“oh just pancakes, but I might get fancy and put some of these raspberries in,”

Lulu just looks at you and then the pan “you can make a cake in a pan?”

Its silent for a moment and all you hear is the slight hiss of the stove’s flames.

“Lulu, have you…never heard of a pancake before?”

She shakes her head. “so you're telling me you’ve never had a pancake…ever.” You squint at her, is she messing with you? You feel the start of a small spiral of embarrassment, and you’re pretty sure she’s telling the truth.

She shifts her weight onto her other foot and shrugs “ yeah why?”

“They’re like a breakfast staple, I thought everyone knew about pancakes.” You frown at the news but quickly set your face in determination,
“we’re going to change that today. I can't let friends go without ever having a pancake! I mean I was going to share with you anyway but now I’m going to make them extra special.” You excitedly flip the pancake and it lands perfectly on its wet face back onto the pan. Golden brown.

You were so excited about seeing someone experience pancakes for the first time that you almost miss the feeling of unexpected joy. It felt like pop rocks and standing in the sun.
“huh,” you glance at her, and Lulu is back to leaning on the kitchen doorway with a small smile on her face and she’s looking elsewhere.
You both settle into a comfortable silence for a moment while you get to work making more pancakes.

Lulu is the first one to break the silence “wait. Does that mean we're eating actual cake…for breakfast?” she looks at you incredulously,

“well, pancakes aren’t really cake, they just vaguely taste like one” you smile “but yeah, we're having them for breakfast”

She bounces her weight on her heels nonchalantly, but you could definitely feel the buzzing airiness of giddiness. You smile knowingly, who wouldn’t want to eat dessert for breakfast, especially when they shared the same sweet tooth that you did.

She thinks about this for a moment before smiling, “humans are weird,”

You beam back at her. “I know right?”

***

Lulu drives you to work, still raving about how good pancakes are and how she wishes she had known about them years ago.

You had even given her some whipped cream and the raspberries to top it with. You laughed at the look on her face when you piled the whipped cream high.
She had squinted at you like it was a dirty trick. “…..and this is normal? Humans just eat this for breakfast, this isn’t just you wanting to eat dessert this early without being judged or anything right?”

Hopefulness and barely barbed suspicion. But you didn’t really need to feel it when she was putting it on display.
Your smile had been filled with mirth and whipped cream. Assuring her that the pancakes and toppings were normal but how high you piled your whipped cream probably wasn’t. Lulu took that at your word and happily ate.

Apparently, while monsters had pastries and the sort, human recipes greatly outnumbered monster ones and pancake recipes must have been invented well after they were trapped underground or the recipe just never made it to where you’ve heard that they went to collect human things.

You pass by the nursery and drive a bit aways, happy that you didn’t have to walk today, you wouldn’t have guessed that her grocer was this much farther from the main strip of stores and shops.
You had to have been well into ten blocks away from the nursery now. At least now you knew roughly how much time it’d take to get here on foot till your car could get fixed.

You realized this is a more monster-centric area and there are a lot fewer humans… you keep watching out the window and you stand corrected there are no humans in this area, except for you.
Lulu pulls up to a decent-sized grocery store. There’s a LED sign in pretty lavender looping cursive labeling the grocery store “Lulu’s Lapre”. You both get out of the car as she leads you up to the building. It's pretty tall, with doors that are easily twelve-foot tall quickly dwarfing both of you. She goes to unlock them and you're thankful that they are automatic as you walk through.

You don’t feel anything externally from her, but you personally feel intimidated by the size of things. Aisles have shelves that you can't even see into they’re so tall and when Lulu shows you the register where you work you're somehow awed and dismayed all at once...

You walk behind the counter and turn to her. your shoulders barely crest the top of the counter, it was a sad sight. When you do look at her you see her stifling a laugh.
“hard-y har.” You say sarcastically

“I’m sorry! It just looks like I put a child behind a register” she says her eyes twinkling with mischief.

You pout “wow, thanks”

you cross your arms, not that she could even see you do it. What you wouldn’t give to have long model legs and the height to not have to look up to half the people you knew…or everyone you knew.

“I'm kidding!” she chuckles “sort of.” She adds in. She’s pretty much beaming unadulterated happiness.
That was a rare feeling and it was the hardest to put into words what that sensation felt like, warm and right? You pushed that feeling out before you had to analyze it further. Feeling something like that when it wasn’t your own for too long would just lead to you feeling depressed when it ended.
Not unlike chasing a high. You wondered what had her in such high spirits though, was she happy about having help that much? or was it the pancakes?
“don’t worry I'm technically part of the short kids club too, it just feels nice to finally be taller than someone.”

“I can't relate,” you mock pout and turn your head away from her.

She laughs “alright alright ill stop teasing, so we have about an hour before the store opens, I'm going to give you a run down and get you up to speed. Feel free to ask questions as I go along.”

you raise a hand before she can even start.

“you don’t have to raise your hand” she chuckles “ go ahead.”

You stand on your toes and put your arms up on the counter, “ can I have a stool? I don’t think ill be able to reach anything otherwise.”

“I’ll do you one better, we have a chair that sits pretty high off the ground that my sister and I use, it doesn’t have a back so the customer doesn’t even know its there.” She smiles smugly.

She leads you to the second register, the only other one in the store from what it looks like and is situated along the wall. You walk around the side and see a bar stool-like chair, but it has narrow steps built into the side of it.
You almost blush looking at it, you knew you were short but…damn. You’d have to use this every day. Luckily, other monsters wouldn’t see it.
But if Lulu’s sister was the same height as her you could see why she wanted the extra help, if you had a pregnant sister you wouldn’t want to chance her falling off this thing.

“ so I'm going to give you a quick rundown on how to use the register, its a lot easier than human registers from what I've seen”

she grabs an item from the front of the counter, looked like a candy bar you didn’t recognize the brand of. She then gestures for you to get up into the chair.
You do so and she tosses you the candy bar, which you barely manage to catch. Fumbling it before managing to trap it between your chest with your arms.
It was about a foot long and as thick as half a soup can. What? This was a whole new definition of a king-size bar.

“the register shouldn’t have any money in it since I cleared the till last night but it should turn on if you interact with it.”

You look at the screen, it looked normal enough just a screen and the till beneath it. You touch the screen not seeing any other buttons or switches to push. It displays the date and time at the top and only three buttons at the bottom. Cancel transaction, return, and payment. You look at her for further instruction.

“alright good, now all you have to do is take that scanner that’s on the side and scan whatever item.”

You take the scanner and begin looking the candy bar over for a barcode. “this item doesn’t have a thing to scan”

She smiles at you “I know right! Go ahead and scan it anywhere you'll see what I mean”

You do and it does in fact ring up. Confused you look at her,
“I know what you're looking for but these don’t work that way, they scan the signature of the magic in it, since monster food is all magic the machine just pics up on it and separates it by what it is or meant to be. No keying things in or messed up barcodes.”

You stare at the scanner in awe “I wish every store could have these” it would be every retail worker's dream.

“few last things, look at the screen.” You do and you see the amount for the candy bar and a second amount next to that in a symbol you’re not familiar with. It’s a capitol backward ‘G’.

“some monsters still come in with gold, there aren’t that many but it happens. That symbol is for our currency. Just keep in mind that if they choose to pay in gold they cant pay in human currency too.”

“how come?” from what you could remember gold was worth more than our money since the dollar bill’s worth isn’t actually backed up by gold anymore.

“because the conversion between the two isn’t a whole number and it keeps conflicts to a minimum.” That confirmed your suspicions. This seems simple enough. “if all goes well ill get you a work apron and a name tag.”

You hand her back the candy bar and she takes it. You’re pleasantly surprised by how much easier this chair made things. You hear the electronic jingle of a short welcome song letting you both know a customer has walked in. you hadn’t heard one of those in years you muse nostalgically.

you peak around the corner towards the door to see a monster that looked a lot like a bird embodiment of a snowflake. They barely stood taller than Lulu and looked around menacingly but you waved that impression off immediately when you could feel their bubbling excitement as they rushed over to what you could tell was a sale poster over cases of soda.

“so long as you can read the screen and you know how to count, you’ll be fine! Bags are under the counter and Just call me if anyone gives you trouble or you have questions…..oh and if you meet a monster named jerry you let me handle him.” She calls behind her as she walks out of view into an aisle... Taking her feelings of slimy disgust with her.

You didn’t know who this jerry was but based on her reaction you weren’t looking forward to meeting them. You busy yourself by looking around at all the products they sold while not leaving your seat. Once you got over the sheer size of everything your mind started wondering about how you could use some of these products yourself and found yourself getting excited at the aspect.

You must've been more lost in your thoughts than you well…thought, because the monster that had entered earlier came up to you with his basket of items. They had held it in their beak before setting it down on the counter.

They eyed you while their body language doesn’t show anything other than suspicion and trepidation, what you could only feel was an itching curiosity and slight irritation. You make sure to keep your eyes trained on the groceries and away from their face. However, you do allow yourself a glimpse of the rest of them. They sure had pretty feathers if that’s what they even were.

“Lulu around?” they ask. Voice subdued and squawky. You had expected their voice to be loud and high pitched. But it was surprisingly mellow. You made a mental note to try to stop assuming things about monsters.

“yeah, she went down that aisle a bit ago,” you point in the direction that she had left in. “oh and paper or plastic?” you ask as you ring up the next few items, bags of chips, chisps? No, you were probably misreading that or your glasses were smudged. Looking at the items maybe this monster was going to have a party or get together.

“no bags, I brought my own,”
There was an eco-friendly bag tucked under their wing that they reached down with their beak to grab and hand to you.

Taking it you smiled, it was nice to see some monsters were ecofriendly, you wished that more humans were.
You could feel their itching curiosity grow into something unbearable as you bag everything up that you’ve scanned.

“That’ll be… nine dollars and ten cents?!” you exclaim. what? eight bags of chips, sodas, different kinds of dip, and two boxes of the monster equivalent of Debbie cakes came out for just…nine dollars.

“you’ve never been in a real monster store have you.” They say amused. You feel a little bit flustered about being called out so quickly about it.

“I'm familiar with monster food and all but yeah…today is my first day”

There was a beat of awkward silence until you remembered, and you look over to the screen again.
“oh and uh, if not that…it says you can also pay with one ‘G’ “ you tell them sheepishly, a heat rising back up to your cheeks at the slip-up. Luckily they didn’t mention it.

they respond by pulling out a single gold coin.
You take it and finish the transaction, dropping the coin into the smallest section of the open till. A receipt printed and you placed it in their bag. Holding it up for them in a way where the strap was taught at the top so it’d be easier for them to grab.

You feel foggy confusion and a sprinkling of surprise like feeling the first drizzles at the beginning of a rain.

You wondered if what you were doing was considered rude, but before you could drop your hands the bird monster took the bag from you and began to walk away.

you call after them and say to have a nice day and thank you for shopping with us. They stopped before turning the corner before looking at you. Swirling confusion and vine like suspicion, those vines didn’t have much time to spread though because whatever they saw killed them off.

The monster nodded and left. You hear the electronic chime of the customer leaving the building taking all those feelings with them and you settle back into your seat.

You felt flustered at the exchange, maybe they felt suspicious because you acted strange? Straightening, you Shake off the embarrassment warming your cheeks you decide that you’ll do better with the next customer.

Your settle in for distracting yourself by looking around at the products and advertisements that were around the grocer. And stifled a smile here and there at some of the more eager posters. “frosted snails! If our queen likes them so will you!” there was a picture of their queen, a kind-looking goat monster with unnerving familiar eyes.

she was one of the more well-known monsters among people and there she was smiling sheepishly next to a bowl of snail…cereal? You didn’t think too hard on it.

One thing that had you stumped as you looked at the monstrously large products was how come you hadn’t seen larger monsters in your neighborhood? You’ve seen whimsuns, vulkans, madjics and the like around. They were commonplace but you’ve never really seen a full-sized monster up close until well…now.

Just how big could monsters get? You sighed as you thought about short jokes being tossed your way. you yelp as someone places four large mustard bottles on your counter. startled your eyes dart up only to follow all the way to their face.

they were easily seven-foot tall. You realized too late that you catch the monster's eyes. You briefly take in red-eye lights, shark-like teeth, and a flash of gold? before quickly averting your eyes away from their face.

Though you’re flustered, you’re thankful that the accidental eye contact didn’t wreck your entire night. This monster must be in some sort of good mood then… but you couldn’t tell. You attempted to give them a smile as an apology for the outburst. You could still feel your cheeks burning

“Sorry I didn’t hear the door,” you say quietly as you start ringing him up, “paper or plastic?” you ask, but they seem to be unloading more things from their basket.

“neither.” So, a male monster if their voice was anything to go by.

Speaking of, said the voice was pretty deep and had a twinge of an accent that wasn’t strong enough for you to place but sounded urban.
You caught a blur of white from your peripheral and glanced over to see two hefty skeletal hands. You would have thought they were some kind of cool gloves if you hadn't been able to see through part of it.

Thick bands of bone made up his palms, pressed so close that they were nearly fused together, while each of his fingers was easily twice the thickness of your thumb. You turn your attention back to the products before you were caught.

“Yeah, been told that I have a quiet step for someone of my stature.” he chuckled, a deep rumble that was almost infectious. You smiled at that

“so finally a new face around here, huh? what made you want to work here of all places.” He says. somehow you don’t need to look up at his face to know he’s watching your reaction.

You feel the flustered heat rise to your cheeks at being scrutinized even if you didn’t feel any of the emotions that you had from the other customers. This monster just seemed neutral.

"Lulu and I are roommates, and I was in sort of a predicament so she’s trying me out here for a bit..” you trail off embarrassed, but glad you're almost done ringing him up.
His hands seem free of his own bag and you frowned wondering how he was going to carry all of this by hand. Hopefully, he didn’t need to go far.

You go to turn completely away from him to read him his total.
“that’ll be twelve sixty in human currency and three G in monster…” you turn to him to see that he’s gone “…currency.” You look around and he’s not anywhere in sight.

you notice the groceries are gone too and begin to panic. Did they just shoplift? Were they coming back? should you get lulu-

Then you noticed the three G on the counter. you breathe, trying to calm yourself down and settle back into your seat. He must have saw the total from over your shoulder. Or over you in general, he most definitely saw the glorified booster seat you were using. You groan at that fact as you put the money away, ripping the receipt off the machine and skewering it on the memo holder with the rest of the unclaimed receipts.

At least you had got through your day almost without any issues.

Chapter Text

With yesterday going so smooth, Lulu handed you your apron and name tag before you could even make your way over to your usual spot at the register. It had been a simple navy blue one with deep pockets sewn into it near the bottom.

“so soon? I thought I would still be on probation; it’s only been a day.”

“yeah a short probation,” she says giving you a pointed look before continuing.
You gave her look that meant ‘what?’

“plus, I’ve decided that your probation was long enough.”

Wait was she cracking another short joke? You narrowed your eyes at her playfully to which Lulu shot back a smug smile as you slid the apron over your head.

Seems like she was just humoring you with this whole probation to begin with. You looked down at your new uniform and smiled lightly feeling the comfortable fabric under your fingers as you smooth it out.

As you go to pin on your name tag, you realize that its blank. You go to fish out a sharpie from behind the register and write your name, deciding to doodle a flower one both sides of your careful handwriting.

“plus, it’s not like I’d keep a friend on probation. that is just a formality.” she beams, you could see a slight blush on her cheeks from where you were standing. Seemingly straightening out products.

You pop back out from behind the register at that. You blinked in surprise. She considered you a friend? From what you experienced monsters kept a healthy distance from humans, and you had thought Lulu had just been tolerating you for the most part until now.

Her crisp elation abruptly flips into surprise as she looks you over and an emotion you were familiar with but couldn’t name bloomed. Like a mix of zappy excitement and gushing adoration.

“oh no! your apron! It looks adorable on you!”

You frowned and looked down at yourself. You hadn’t realized that the apron was longer than you expected. Coming down past your knees. With the draw strings tying it back it most definitely looked like a child who found their parents’ apron.

You felt your face bloom with unwanted heat, and you crossed your arms with a huff. “do you have a smaller one? I look dumb”

“sorry that’s the smallest one I got.” She smiles smugly at you “you’re so cute you could be our mascot! Maybe we’ll start bringing in human customers too.” Lulu chuckled in earnest, and you shot her a playful glare.

You felt her teasing mood poke and prod at you as you sulk about the new development. Well at least if you were sitting it wouldn’t show just how big this apron was.

“ ‘m not cute” you mumble as you hurry to go and get behind the register. Wanting to hide your embarrassing attire. To which you hear her snicker at. You shot her another glare, but you don’t think it has the impact you want because she’s still smiling with mischief.

“yeah, yeah so you say. Youre just so…smol.” She makes the pinching motion with her fingers and smiles in that emotion that you’re going to dub as ‘aww’.

You looked at her, appalled. face toting a cherry red. “okay that’s it, no more pancakes” you deadpan

“what why?!”

Instead of replying you huff and looked at her pointedly. She pouts “fine I’ll cool it on the small comments, but I won’t take back what I said about you being adorable.” She says as she finally relents on her teasing.

All playfulness leaves her as she fixes you with a serious look. “but back to business, I watched some of your interactions with customers yesterday and while your customer service is great, it puts some monsters off.”

Your heart dropped. oh, were you being too friendly? Or doing too much? “so does that mean I should be…less customer-friendly?” you ask trying to parse out exactly what you were trying to ask.

She just waves off that question. “no, keep up what you’re doing. some of them are just shocked at getting a warm welcome. Keep doing what you’re doing, and maybe we can disarm some of them with that cute little outfit you have on.” She says raising her eyebrows.
She snickered at that last comment. Making a hasty retreat and even managing to dodge a pack of gum that you chucked at her, all at once.

You tried to feign a scowl but it didn’t stay for long, you wouldn’t ever admit that you had fun when you bantered with someone like this. it felt nice to be comfortable enough with someone to be able to joke around. Even if you hated the ‘short’ jabs at your expense.
You climbed down from your chair to go and put back the gum you threw. As you lean down to pick it up you hear the electronic jingle of someone entering the store. You glance up and notice a green monster that appeared to be aflame under their clothes.

You watched their flames transfixed as they flickered and waved, they almost reminded you of the party powders you used to color flame when you went camping with your father. you took in that they wore a pleated skirt and a black crop top. which, unlike the rest of her hadn’t caught fire.

You quickly straighten, before addressing them “welcome to lulu’s lapre” you say warmly…pun intended.

The monster stares at you cocking their head at you seemingly contemplative. You look at her face and see her crack a curious smile. It takes you too long to realize that yes, she did have eyes and that you were making eye contact. You looked away from her quickly. Luckily she wasn’t close enough to make any real connection.

You hurry and put the gum back and climb up into your chair. That heat on your face returns full force when you realize that the flaming monster probably watched you climb into the booster seat in your oversized apron.

You throw her an apologetic smile, relieved to see that she wasn’t trying to hold back a laugh or anything. She shrugs, grabbing a basket and heading off to shop. You watch the clock and see that not much time has passed since the store opened, but you were surprised to see that it was still a ghost town in here.

You thought lulu said her store was getting swamped and that she needed help. You were starting to wonder if she gave you the position out of pity after all. But you hadn’t felt anything like that so maybe you were overthinking it? You sigh.

You looked around at the advertisements. Closer to the beauty section was a glittery poster of a pink and black robot laying down. they had four arms and were posing in dramatic distress with two and applying a sparkly oil to their legs with the rest. Below it read “Triumph over dryness the Mettaton way!” in bold curly script.
Who changed out these posters? That hadn’t been there yesterday. You would have remembered such a questionable poster. Who applies body oil like that? It looks almost too scandalous of a poster to just be displayed in a grocery store. Did someone get confused and posted a pin-up poster?
You look away from it and look for something else to focus on. You don’t think you would survive the embarrassment of someone catching you stare at that poster.

It is a good thing you decided that when you did because that flame monster from earlier was making her way over to you with a full basket. You kept your eyes focused slightly past her, its what you did when you wanted to try and hide the fact that you weren’t looking someone in the face.

You tapped on your screen to wake it up, before turning to her. “paper or plastic?” you ask her
There was a very real sense of warmth that covered you as she stood in front of you. beginning to unload her basket. “plastic” she says, her voice indifferent and slightly warped by a melodic series of crackles.
So maybe not all monsters were ecofriendly. Or was it because the bags would catch fire if they were paper? But that didn’t seem to be the case for her clothes so why would it be for bags?
On closer inspection as she unloaded, she was slightly translucent and there wasn’t anything at its center and you realized that she wasn’t on fire, she was fire.
The sound of her subtle crackling would have been soothing if you couldn’t feel her apprehension. Which felt like a brittle defensive ball of thistle.
You smiled shyly at her and turned your attention to her items as you rang her up. A lot of things you didn’t recognize, there were several ingredients for what you assumed was a dinner and small boxes that looked medicinal. You catch words like ‘supplement’ and ‘protection’ and you don’t give them any real scrutiny, ringing them up like you would any item. Almost in response, you feel that ball of apprehension unravels into a whisper of self-assurance.
As you go through ringing up the rest of the items you start to feel that familiar feeling of a hard gaze on your face and with it, the accompanying heat rose to your face.

You felt the same foggy confusion and itchy curiosity. As you worked to bag up her items you feel that fogginess give way to blinding resolve.

“I have a question.” They say, the flame over their head flaring gently and popping. Voice not as firm and a little accusatory.

You look up at her in acknowledgment but you focus above her lavender eyes into the dancing of flames. “How come you won’t look me in the eye?” she asks bluntly. Blinding resolve was still there, along with the twinge of distrust.
You flinch at that. Were you really that obvious? “oh sorry, it’s a bad habit of mine. I just feel more comfortable that way.” you fidget with your apron pocket. It had been a while since you’ve been confronted about it and it was honestly surprising that the first person to bring it up in over a year was a monster.
“I was sorta raised that I shouldn’t,” you weren’t lying, but you were definitely omitting the truth. Because the truth was too much to unload onto a stranger.

At your answer, the distrust was replaced by understanding. You could hear her quiet crackling laughter.

“oh so that’s all it was?” you glimpsed a break in the flames that you could see was a smile. “you know, every other monster out there is going to see that as distrust. We can’t read your intentions well otherwise, window to the soul and all that.”

“oh, I didn’t know that. In some cultures, it’s the opposite.”

“you know, my father runs a business himself and taught me a few things, and I know enough to know that you’re a shop keep now so you need to give eye contact. “ she says matter of factly.
You start to panic at this, I have to look every monster in the eye? That was like tearing down the little bit of protection you had for every new customer that came in. you frowned at that.
“You’re working for Lulu now so any bad rep you get lulu will get too.” She added. “I have a friend with a similar issue. start small. so, start with me.”

You feel your panic grow. You were trapped between two choices that you didn’t want to make., begin to give lulu’s business a reputation for employing rude humans or give her eye contact and feel everything unadulterated until she left or it faded on its own.

At least this was a monster asking this of you and not a human. Grateful that the wavelength monsters were on dulled the emotions you could feel from them …somewhat. you feel out for her emotions now, not sensing anything other than a warm swath of anticipation.
you focus on reigning in your own feelings into something more neutral guarding yourself as you slowly drag your eyes up to hers.

The feelings you felt from her multiplied sevenfold as you stared into her eyes. Warm anticipation became uncomfortably hot and fluttery, you focused and kept up the small amount of guardedness you had left. before you started putting off that emotion yourself. Pleased. Approval. surprise. Enthusiasm. Interest. Curiosity. Worry. Unease.

You break eye contact after what feels like forever but, was probably no more than a few seconds. You look down swallowing trying to find your way back to what was your emotions and what wasn’t.

“you okay?” she asks, everything was starting to feel overwhelming. Worry. Concern. Anxiety.

“uh yeah, that was just embarrassing is all.” You lied, hurrying to finish bagging the last of her things. You wondered if lulu would let you get a bathroom break or something to breathe.

“cool! by the way, I’m fuko!” she holds out her hand she seems to increase in warmth as she beams a smile at you. You take her hand sheepishly and shake it.
Your mind feels really numb from feeling someone else raw emotions, even if they weren’t inherently harmful. “May, it’s nice to meet you” you say quietly as you introduced yourself. Letting go of her hand you turn to read the total.

“I’m glad because you're going to get real familiar with my face real soon. I want you to practice whenever I come by.” All of the sternness in her voice is gone and she crackles excitedly.

Luckily you're turned away from her or she’d see how your face paled at that. How often would she stop by? How long would she stay? What if she came when there were other customers around when she visited. Or maybe this would actually help and desensitize you to other people if you did it enough? But somehow you didn’t think that was true.

“so that’ll be fifteen dollars and twenty cents in human currency and 4 ‘g’ in monster currency. Fuko rummages around in her pockets for some bills. She pulls out a twenty and hands it to you. When you take it and try to give her back her change, she waves it off.

“nah that’s a tip for good customer service.”

You stood there, bill in hand at a loss. You don’t even know if you’re allowed to take tips, and you didn’t really do anything that was worth a tip. Hell, you didn’t think that people even tipped cashiers.

While you were lost in thought, fuko had gathered up her bags and walked away radiating chipper vibes. Thankfully taking the overwhelming residual emotions with her.

It was the same feeling that sunflowers got when they were basking in the sun.

Not seeing any kind of tip jar, you added the five dollars into the till.

***
With Lulu staying behind to close tills and lock up you walk home. It’s a quarter past nine and there’s no one out, so you’re left alone to your thoughts and the street devoid of other people. You look up at the black sky devoid of stars and you long to be home.

At least there you could see something, with there being far less light pollution closer to the mountain in your neighborhood. Maybe you should use your telescope tonight.

As you walked down the street you perused the closed shops, looking through their wide windows as you passed. Thinking about what the sold and who shopped them. You let yourself feel a quiet awe at the size of the stores, and you’re surprised at how small and quaint lulu’s lapre was in comparison.
You caught a glimpse of a yarn and fabric store called the cat’s pajamas and in the front were display were rolls of pretty-patterned fabric and knitted stuffed animals.

You stopped in your tracks to stand on your toes to get a better glimpse of what was inside to no avail. It was too dark, and the display was too high.
You made the mental note to check this place out when you got the chance. You continue down the road and spot a few more places of interest. A restaurant that advertised vegan-only options and boasted that this location was the first of a vegetoid chain. They had made a name for themselves even among humans for having great tasting vegan courses.
Although it was all monster food, vegetoids wouldn’t and probably couldn’t eat meat of any kind. You frowned at the thought of not having milk in your cereal or having to never eat any of your pastries that included non-vegan ingredients. Which was a lot of them.
You ponder this as you pass by more shops a café that had a pretty Lolita decorations that could be seen from the outside, what you could guess was some kind of hardware store , and a bar.
You must have missed this during the day as you drove by. It wasn’t hard to guess why, the sign that must’ve been off earlier is now shining a giant red LED sign like a beacon. As you continue to walk by you can hear the buzz of lively patrons inside, the grillby’s sign cast an ethereal red glow on you and the area around it.
You quickened your pace when the feeling of happy drunk stupors seeped from the bar. While you were no light weight on any accounts, unfortunately the energy that other people gave off affected you more than the alcohol ever did.

When you get some distance between you and the bar you notice that its not the only establishment still open. A little up ahead is a corner store. You approach it and youre inwardly happy that isn’t oversized like the other places you’ve seen and is closer to what you consider average. Once youre inside and when the AC blasts you, you realize just how hot it was outside. You look around and see a froggit manning the register…or more accurately counter. You walk over and read a sign that says:
welcome to store of froggit. Please scan all items up front by side of register and check out. Unfortunately froggit can only take G and card froggit cant pick up human monie froggit has no thumbs.

The note was endearing. You smile down at the froggit in greeting and it ribbits in response. Froggits were pretty cool monsters, they couldn’t speak most languages but they could send intent your way and you can get a good idea of what they want or questions they have. however, they couldn’t do anything too complex with it like a full conversation, or detailed instruction.
With them selectively sending you their intentions you didn’t get abundant waves of emotions like you did with everyone else. You could still feel them, but it was bareable. It was a welcome change.
You looked around and saw that the aisles had shelves that were all within your reach, filled with all kinds of snacks. Sea tea flavored devil roll cakes, temmie flake flavored candy and chisps. So it wasn’t your eyes playing tricks. That was actually printed on the bag.
You briefly wondered if temmi flakes were good enough to be both, making your way towards the back of the store wandering over to the freezer section. Here there were ice creams and that you recognized. Human name brands were sorted at the bottom with warnings that it was not made of monster food. While at the top there was only one kind of ice cream except it was called ‘nice cream’.
Was it some kind of pun? You open the freezer door to get a closer look. The only thing that you see in regard to what flavor it is was a slogan that was mirrored across all of them.
“your favorite flavor: new and improved!” there was a blue cartoon bunny on it smiling and giving a thumbs up.

You shrugged and grabbed one. It couldn’t be that bad if they had a few rows dedicated to nothing but these ‘nicecream’ bars. Maybe it was mystery flavored? You grabbed a water as you made your way to checkout.
The froggit shuffled in its high seat not unlike what you used at your own place of work. Something about that gave you mixed feelings. Sure, it made you feel better that it may be the norm for monsters, but were you classified as short as a froggit if you had to use something like that?
You feel the froggit sends you something that felt like ‘question okay/find good’ as they ribbit. you thought about what they meant for a moment before smiling.

“I found everything alright, thank you. found these, are they any good?” you ask

The froggit looks like they’re restraining themselves from jumping in place. You feel happiness seep from them, and it reminded you of yourself when you made lulu pancakes for the first time.
‘good’ they bounce in their seat.

You smile at that and nod and set your things down on the little self-checkout table, fishing out your credit card. You scan and pay for everything. you wave to the froggit as you leave and they ribbit back.
Once the automatic door closes behind you immediately remember the oppressive heat. It wasn’t incredibly hot, but it was muggy. As you walk you shove the water bottle into your purse as you go to unwrap your ice cream. You’re surprised to see that its white, but its translucent like a popsicle.

You go for a lick and you’re surprised to taste something like a black forest cheesecake, but had the smooth consistency of a creamy frozen treat that ice cream was meant to have. You hadn’t realize that was what you had been craving. You pull the dessert away from your face to see that it was still that translucent white…what? Pleasantly mystified you ate it as you made the rest of the way home.

It doesn’t take long as you savor your cool treat to pass by your old place of work and head through the strip of businesses you were more familiar with. You glance back up at the stars and see that they were now barely visible as you head into less populated areas and up the hill to where your neighborhood was. As you pass by the park you see that it’s pitch black and you’re just realizing this is the first time heading back home this late.
Not that youre worried about anything happening, you could usually feel malice or bad intentions. It felt like poison and often it didn’t turn out great for whoever unintentionally filled you with that feeling. You shuddered at the unwanted memory and it spurs you to speed up as you passed the wooded area at the final stretch of your way home, no point in inviting that to happen.

You finally arrive at the gate of your little community, a guard sat in the booth that was empty during the day. This was your first time having to ever meet them. You walked up to his booth and they looked up from a book they were reading, and gazing up at you curiously. they were a brawny middle-aged looking man in a short-sleeved security uniform, sporting a trimmed chestnut colored beard.

Itchy curiosity and vining suspicion beginning to grapple at you. It felt like poison ivy.

You couldn’t blame him it was probably weird to see a woman walking alone at this time of night. “oh hi, this is my first time getting home so late do I need to show you anything?”

They raise a eyebrow . vines receded and was quickly replaced by sparkling surprise. “I didn’t even know other humans lived here, good to see things are looking up. I’ll just need to see some ID and your neighborhood pass.”
“neighborhood pass?”
“its just the door key they gave you with a chip in it.”
“oh, okay” You take your now half-empty water bottle out of your purse and dig for them. “yeah, I live with lulu, up near the back. “you say as you find the requested items, sliding it through the open section at the bottom of his thick glass window. He writes down some information from your ID and scans the head of your key against a flat scanner by his computer before handing it back.

He looks at his monitor for a moment, and when it seems everything checks out, he turns back to you and smiles.
“nice to meet you may, I’m Owens. I hope you have a great night,” he says before buzzing open the gate. It lethargically lumbers open sliding out of the way.

You smile back at Owens. “I hope you have a good night too,” you tell him as you pass through.
You wonder what he meant about things getting better? When you get to your door lulu opens it for you as you fumble the key in your lock.

“oh you beat me home! “

Lulu steps out of the way to let you in. You felt whatever brief feelings of worry you were hit with quickly transition into the feeling of floating relief. Like letting go of a balloon. It was so quick that you weren’t so sure you even felt it.

You glace at her from the corner of your eye, she seemed like herself. Was that you worry yours then? Maybe she startled you and you started to worry.

“yeah, I figured you’d be home before me,” she says closing the door behind you.
“I had to take care of some paperwork after I got finished with counting out the tills. Even got a shipment of products last minute that I had to wait on as the cherry on top. But still the store closed over an hour ago, I didn’t even see you on my drive home or I would’ve picked you up.”

You felt that dropping worry again and this time you were sure it wasn’t you.

“sorry about that went ‘exploring’ on my way home,” which was probably a strong word for just being nosy and window-shopping closed shops. You head to your room as you walk backwards
She gives you a look like she was getting ready to say something.
“Plus! you already drive me to work that’s more than enough,” you say still heading towards your room.
“give me sec I need to change then I’ll make something quick for dinner” hurrying off down the hall to your bedroom.
“don’t worry about it! I got takeout.” she called back.
Pajamas in hand you pop your head from your doorway to look at her
“oh? What did you get?” you ask popping your head back into your room. If food was already here, then you might as well shower while you’re at it.
“its this really good food place called grillby’s. has some pretty good drinks too.” She calls to you from down the hall.

“hey im going to take a quick shower!” you announce. You tell her out of courtesy. You had hated when family members took forever in the only bathroom without announcing it first. You couldn’t remember just how many times you sat outside the door holding your pee for dear life.

“cool!” she calls you as you scurry into the bathroom.

Closing the bathroom door behind you, You glance at your phone, no notifications. You are surprised to see it is close to midnight. Where did the time go?
You play some music and turn on the shower before chuffing off your clothes. You hop in and use the music and a frame of reference to tell how long you’ve been in there, and only stay in for a song. Feeling refreshed and cool after taking a hot shower you got into your comfy pj’s. ready to get some kind of food in you.

You head to the dining room off the side of the kitchen to see burgers fries and fried tomatoes placed out.
“nice,” you say “grabbing a seat at the opposite side of the table from her, where she had set out your meal.
“you said you got this from grillby’s right? I passed by there, how’d you even manage to get this without me seeing you?” you reach down and take a bite of your burger, groaning aloud in appreciation.
She chuckled at your reaction. That was one good burger. Man, it’s been a long time that you’ve eaten a burger that you haven’t made yourself…years even.

Lulu just shrugs. “I ordered ahead, once I saw the delivery truck I called my order in and by the time they finished unloading it was ready to be picked up.”

“so we might’ve just missed each other then. I was probably still in that corner store owned by a froggit.” You smile “if I didn’t know any better I’d think monsters were trying to get me to expand my pallet.” You say waving the burger at her.

“what makes you say that?” she says smiling.

You happily took in her zippy playful energy. You had a long day and taking In something like that was harmless enough.

“well between you getting grillbys, and a froggit recommending nicecream to me I would think I’d have the start of a forming pattern.”

“ Aw what! You never had a nicecream? That should be illegal!” she pouts as she bites into her burger, but pauses. you could almost see a thought cross her mind as you watch her face.
A misty confusion started to seep from her, and you scrambled to try and close yourself off before you started to take that in directly.
“wait a froggit recommended it? You mean they just ribbited and hopped, or did you actually understand them.?” They asked eating slow.

“well sort of? Sure, they ribbited here and there but I understood what they needed me to. When I asked about the nicecreams, they said it was good.” You shrugged.

You felt the blank slate of shock give way to tingling curiosity.

At that she stops eating and stares. ” you understood what they were saying?” she asks again. her ears flicked as she looked at you, watching your face.

At her questioning gaze you averted your eyes to your food, “I mean not exactly, it wasn’t words it was like I could feel what it intended to say…Is that bad?” you ask sheepishly.

She sits back in her seat leaning against her chair. “no that’s not bad, in fact you probably made that froggit’s day.” She props her face up with a hand.

“I’ve never heard of a human understanding a froggit before. I’ve heard of plenty of humans getting frustrated or mad at them sure, humans can’t feel intentions like we can…but huh. I wouldn’t of thought.”

So it wasn’t a bad thing, you go back to eating relieved. There’s a moment of silence and you both enjoy your meal. You make quick work of your burger, realizing you skipped lunch because you were too worked up after fuko’s visit.
However, you cant focus too much on how good the meal is when you could feel the overwhelming medley of feelings thrown your way.
curiosity so thick it felt like you were covered in ants. blinding foggy confusion that keeps flipping between that sensation and grating anxiety.

She took another bite of her burger contemplatively. Briefly, you feel her produce a wobbly resolve before being the first one to break the silence.

” Do you think it’s because of ‘that’?” she asks out of the blue.

You choke on a fry.

This was the first time she’s mentioned what you could do, and you almost thought she had forgotten. You dislodge the fry patting your chest but with it having nowhere to go you swallow it roughly. You look at her in disbelief.

“what?” she startled at your reaction.

“sorry I didn’t think you even believed me when I told you about it.” You look at her skeptically.

“well to be fair it's pretty out there.” She says, moving on to her own fries and grabbing some of the fried tomatoes from the carboard to-go box that sat at the center of the table.
“I mean the way you explained it was sort of crazy but you were drunk as all hell, so.” She popped a fry into her mouth and looked at you inquisitively. the itchy swarm of ants placated only barely now but you fought from squirming in your seat anyway.

“I don’t even remember what I said to you exactly,” I mumbled, trying to deflect the question but failing at it. You keep your gaze off her as you swirl your ketchup around with a fry absentmindedly.

She scoffs, mild amusement wiped away the feeling of marching ants and you breathed a sigh of relief. “ it was actually pretty funny, we were dead smack in the middle of a conversation about a show we were watching and you just go and I quote- ‘hey Lulu can you not throw your suspicion at me so hard the vines have thorns and it hurts!’ “ she mocks your wining voice before chuckling to herself.

That alone probably sounded suspicious, even to you. You groaned at drunk you for being like this.
“so at first I was just like no more wine. But then you wouldn’t STOP rattling off what I was feeling, and how what I was feeling FELT like to you.” she stopped talking for a bit and frowns, ears drooping.
Murky sadness and regret began to settle on you like dust in an old room.
“it sounded…painful. I did not want to believe you because it was honestly sort of scary knowing you could practically read my mind and because I felt bad that I was hurting someone else with how I felt. BUT ITS WEIRD,”
You listen to her and you look at her for the first time truly surprised that this is how they felt. Sure you could feel things but understanding why was a rarity. You stopped playing with your fry and put your hands in your lap.

A small sad laugh leaves you. “yeah it is weird.” You smile at her,but you’re careful to keep your eyes off her face now.
“you know, you’re the only person so far that I’ve talked to about this besides my father.” You say. Quietly. But you say it more to yourself than to her.

“you have every right to feel that way you know? Its why I don’t tell people about it, because If I were in their shoes, I wouldn’t want someone to just know every feeling I have.”
You look back down into your lap.” trust me I know. Plus, it’s not all that great to have, it actually sucks a lot. They’re are far less people who aren’t happy than those who are, and all it takes is for me to look the wrong person in the eyes to fall apart for the day.” Your eyes water some.

“but if it makes you feel any better, I cant read your mind.” You give a watery chuckle. “does that mean you don’t want to be friends anymore?” you felt like a child asking that question. Curled in on yourself in your seat and looking away. You weren’t expecting much but it had been nice living with someone who didn’t mind chilling with you and just being an overall cool person.

When you feel her blank shock…well it shocked you.

“wha- no! I mean yes! Fuck. Which ever one means that we’re still friends.”

You look up at her slowly keeping your eyes off her face. carefully feeling her out, no pity no distrust.
Just the feeling of soft downy concern. Your posture relaxes and you blink away the tears that hadn’t escaped your waterline. Allowing the feeling of concern to wash over you enough to calm you, but pushing the feeling away before you couldnt climb back out of it.

“that! I see you doing that, and I know what it is” she points to your face.

You frown “what?”

“you reading me! I can feel you doing it sometimes.” Her ears flick and she scowls softly into a thin line.

“I’m sorry it’s involuntary...” you apologize gently. Somewhat embarrassed that you used her feelings without knowing.

She sighs, pushing her food away. Seems like she wasn’t hungry anymore either. “just, I need to know how it works. I want to understand so I don’t come to my own conclusions.”

“what do you want to know?” you ask not really knowing where to start if there even was one.

“so, what can you and can’t you do. If you can’t read minds what comes through?”

“just walk around and feel things when people get close or if I look them in the eye…if it’s really strong I can feel things from a short distance.” You answer parsing out your next thoughts into words.” And all that comes through are your feelings…never why”

“well, you look me in the eye all the time what’s so different now that you aren’t?”

“youre feeling a lot of things right now and if we’re both feeling the same emotion at once I sorta feel like it snowballs as it bounces from both of us until I... “you trail off and frowned.
You felt like you were explaining this all weird. You have never needed to before, your dad never asked you to. He just…Understood. Now you were regretting not having the practice. But you had to start somewhere.

“wait. over distances? Like I can walk down the street right now and you could still read me?”

You think about that for a moment. You’ve had experiences where that was the case but it was for emotions that weren’t natural for people to have. Like murderous intent, actual hate, true malice. You shivered.
“its not an exact science or anything… but that’s only happened to me a handful of times and none of them were good reasons. Especially when the feeling was aimed at me. “you scowled and the blurry memories and the aftermath of what happened as a result.
Lulu seemed to understand what you implied, uncomfortable pricking of morbid curiosity growing in her but was quickly extinguished. ears drooping but she did not mention it.
“oh okay good, I was worried it was some weird human soul bond thing and you were just connecting with everyone. But if the distance is a factor its probably not that,” as she thought of more questions her ears stood at attention and twitched.

“so anything I should know about? Like what should I do if you're at the shop and you look someone in the eyes that’s having a straight-up shitty day?”

“if…if that happens and I wasn’t able to block it out then I just need to get distance between me and the other person. The sooner it happens the better. I’m pretty good at remembering but everyone is hard-wired to catch eye contact and I’m no exception.”

She hummed “so you can fight it off? why not do that all the time?”

“I am.” You say quietly.

At this she goes quiet. “like what all the time?” you nod. “even around happy people?”

“…especially around happy people.”

“but why I thought the bad emotions were painful so wouldn’t the good ones feel…well good?”

“that’s sort of the problem..they feel great.” You sigh and brush back a stray hair. “the only other person I know, who’s like me…they don’t block out anything. or fight it. They ride every emotion. But the feelings aren’t theirs. You can get addicted to joy, and happiness but when you become dependent on it you stop feeling it on your own…after doing it enough you can't feel anything on your own.” You don’t mean to say it with venom.
But you do, angry at what they decided to do to themselves and at yourself for not being able to stop it. But then the worst part was that when you cant feel anything for yourself anymore, you start manipulating people to feel what you want them to get your fix. Like a parasite. But you dont tell her that. She doesn’t need to think about that since you would never do that.

You glance up at her and her ears are drooping. The gentle sadness she felt earlier seemed to accumulate burying you in its weight as it seeped into you. Like a thick blanket of snow.
she’s looking down at the table sadly. “was that your father?” she asks softly.

“no.”
Though still sad she seems somewhat relieved.

Her mouth forms a thin line again. Which looks odd with her short snout in the way. She looks up at you.
“how… are you still you? don’t you get tired?” she asks quietly. Ears still drooping.

“…I treat it like anything else, I guess. Things get hard but you push through. ive thought about giving up before but that was a long time ago. Now I have people I want to live for, but.. I think I’m still learning how to live for myself” you smile when you think about your best friend and your boyfriend. They still needed you, and you promised your dad you would visit at some point.

“it’s a work in progress but im getting there.” You smile a little more genuine now.

Lulu doesn’t say anything, but she smiles back and you don’t say anything either when you feel the pit fall of her worry. it felt like being plunged from a drop tower.
“so!” she says abruptly feigning a happy tone. You appreciated it.
“ in a nut shell. I’m friends with a short mystical moody human who CANT read my thoughts.” She gives you a playful glare and throws a cold fry at you.

You laugh lightly as it bounces off your forehead. “ why? Got something in there you don’t want me to see?” you tease. With the mood light and playful you let yourself look back up at her. Like that, things were back to normal.
“yeah. disturbing things! Embarrassing things!” she leans over the back of her chair, with the back of her hand against her forehead in a expression of dramatic distress. Not unlike that mettaton poster in her store. You had a sneaking suspicion she may have put it up.
“Lulu, come on. Ive seen you put a bow on your own tail when you thought I wouldnt notice. It cant be any more embarrassing than that.” You laugh chucking a fry at her which she tries to catch with her mouth and fails. Bouncing off her nose.
“I’ll have you know that was a phase and everyone has phases.” She crossed her arms playfully and huffed.

“mhmm sure.”
Her face goes a shade darker as you raise an eyebrow and she throws another fry at you. starting a short food fight that ended once the fries were depleted.

You both looked at the mess and then at each other. Before laughing your asses off, having thrown around food like you weren’t two full grown adults.

As your laughter starts to die down you both begin to clean up the mess.
Lulu chuckled as she picked up a particularly mangled fry “man, I’m so glad that grillby didn’t see what I did to his food. I’d lose my shop keeper’s privileges.”
“shop keepers privileges?”
“I mean not quite so literally privileges but he does give discounts to other shopkeepers and vice versa”

You hummed at that. So it was a comadre thing. You wondered if you had the same privileges now, fuko had mentioned something about being a shopkeep now but you don’t know if that meant anything.

Once you were both done throwing everything away you fell into a comfortable silence.
“It’s late I might turn in.” she says yawning. You look down at your phone. No notifications. And it’s a little past two AM. You had talked longer than you thought. Or maybe it was the food fight.

“Hey Lulu?” you say before she can get too far down the hallway. She stops one ear swiveling. “thank you.. for listening.” You say.

Lulu just turns to you and smiles “what are friends for?” is all she says, before heading off to her room. Leaving you with your thoughts.

Chapter Text

It Had been days since your talk with Lulu and Fuku’s first visit, and since then she’s made It routine to stop in twice a day. While you had been worried at first, you where seeing that things were improving…slowly. Maybe you being able to last longer periods of sustained eye contact was due to the fact that fuko rarely had anything other that a warm personality, so maybe the repeat trials were having an effect. or maybe all fire monsters just had a default welcoming demeanor? Whichever reason it was you found yourself talking to her more and it was beginning to be more comfortable.

In fact you have gotten so comfortable with fuko that you both started striking up longer conversations. More accurately she was the one striking up all the conversations and you just kept getting sucked into them. Not that you minded, it was just always embarrassing to look up from your conversation to see that you had a line forming of irritated monsters waiting for you to wrap things up. Surprisingly enough you never had a monster interrupt fuko and you. Which just made you feel even more guilty.

So, when fuko stops by today, it does not surprise you in the least. In fact, this was about the time she came in. always in the morning and two hours before closing. It was like a happy reminder that your shift was coming to an end.

Today though Fuko strides in beaming. Literally beaming, her green flames flickered and waved, her green glow soaking the room in its color. Vaguely reminding you of the glow of the grillby’s sign you passed by a few nights ago. You had to shield your eyes with a hand to deflect the harsh glare off your glasses. You would not be able to see her eyes even if you tried like this. It was funny how her outward appearance exactly matched the overwhelming joy she was showering you with.

Fuku waved at you in passing as she grabbed a basket and rushed to the back of the shop in the opposite direction from you. You could see her glow from over the top of the aisles and you watched it pause briefly in a section before barreling back out of the aisle over to you. The almost offending amount of brightness wasn’t gone but was considerably more bearable now, along with her joy as you could feel her try to contain it. When she makes it up to your counter, she plops down the heavy basket and you could hear the tinkling of bottles. You look down to see the basket full of different kinds of monster liquor. The glowed dimly and swirled, some even shimmered.

“May!” she says excitedly, if slightly breathless from rushing around only a moment ago. You flinch at her volume.

“yeah?” you say smiling, you’ve never seen her so excited, or anyone for that matter.

“I cant stay long but I wanted to ask if you were free after work?” she says words almost running together into a excited jumble. Taking the liberty of unloading bottles for you. “oh and plastic please”

“ sure, why?” you ask, but looking down at the bottles you could probably guess.

“My dad is taking a trip for the weekend and he said I could have a few friends over! So, I wanted to see if you could come.” She starts beaming again, and at this proximity you could barely see your own hands making it impossible to multitask.

You set down the bottle you’re holding and instead focus on not blinding yourself by staring into the excited green sun that was Fuko. You think about it, with only a basket of alcohol it was probably no more than a handful of people.
You feel her abundant excitement begin to whither the longer you think about it and you’re hit with a pang of guilt. Which you’re sure is your own.

“just a get together?” you ask.

Fuko’s dimming flame is now blazing, the tips of her flames whipping. Like you just threw the whole jug of gasoline into a fire. “Yeah definitely! Its gonna be soo funn”

“hey Fuko, could you uh…” you gesture gently to her “I cant see” you say when she somehow gets brighter at your answer.

“oh!” she exclaims tinting blue before dimming down to what you’re used to and you feel the soft small spiral of embarrassment. However her inner joy wasn’t at all subdued. Fuko was soaring right now. “sorry, “

You laugh lightly, being happy shouldn’t have to be something you apologize for. “no problem, so when is it?”

“tonight, at eleven,” she digs in her small purse for something. She takes out a flyer. It looks like someone wrote on a blank sheet and photocopied it. You were starting to worry that this wasn’t just a small get together.

You finish scanning the rest of the bottles and you give them a good look. How many could eight bottles of alcohol even serve. You give her the total and she throws a bill on the counter snatching up bags of alcohol.

“Sorry I cant stay, gotta run! Keep the change!” she says as she practically runs for the door, not looking back. Did she mean to throw a fifty? You glance at it and then back at the door. You felt like a pattern was forming. This time when you make the change you do take ten dollars for yourself. The total had only been around twenty-five dollars.

Almost immediately after fuko had left the building, you hear the welcome jingle again and when you look up to see just who comes in, you’re confused when you don’t see anyone. You look around but you brush it off as someone passing by outside setting the door off. Turns out you’re wrong though because a moment later you hear the patter of what sounds like bare feet headed towards you. You peer over the edge of your counter to see a rather short monster.

They were almost saucer shaped with a hump at it’s center that made up their head. Beady eyes and puffy greasy lips. In fact, they were greasy everywhere. Their body sat on two skinny tentacles that stretched and flopped as they walked, being responsible for the sound you heard earlier. noodle arms swinging beside them. They’re the shortest monster you’ve probably seen. When they make it up to your counter you see that their head doesn’t even clear the top. So you begin to peer over the edge to get a better look but abruptly sit back into your seat when a slimy noodle arm stretches up and slaps a pack of gum on the counter.

A weird greasy substance audibly slopped off of their arm and dropped to the counter and you did your absolute best to not cringe. They kept their arm on the counter and the rest of their form followed. Their torso rose as if on a elevator or a rising platform, until they were at eye height. You briefly glanced down to see that their tentacle legs were stretched and wobbled to support him at that height.

“How can I help you,” you ask. Now able to see them up close you could see their skin and how it was textured a lot like a bull frogs. Bumpy and full of warts the same color as the rest of them. There was even something there behind one of three short horns that oozed. You focused on keeping a straight face.

“You can help me by giving me your number,” they say. Voice nasally and obnoxious. You could smell their breath from where you were sitting. Thank dear god he was buying gum. They leaned on the counter in what you guessed was an attempt to look cool.

You double take when you hear that, no longer able to keep your poker face. You had been so disgusted that you had unintentionally closed yourself off to whatever emotions he had been feeling. Unfortunately, the question he asked had blindsided you disarming that barrier you had put up.

Bitter cockyness and dizzying arousal. No, not arousal just horny.

You didn’t have to block these feelings out, your feelings of disgust pushed those straight out of you. “I’m sorry I cant help you with that.” You say through gritted teeth donning your poker face again.

“Aw, I came to this run-down store to check out the human that everyone’s been talking about you should feel flattered!” you felt your smile thin.

“I saw you staring, you don’t need to play hard to get If you’re interested you need but only ask.”

You don’t say anything and scan the pack of gum. “I’m sorry I’m not interested, I’m taken. Will there be anything else?” you say voice monotone.

“I bet theyre not a ten like me though, you should be flattered I’m even asking out a four. Everyone knows the name jerry,” they say, not letting up.

Oh so this is who jerry was. You don’t say anything, but you start to silently fume. Who was he to insult not only you but your boyfriend? This literal slime ball. You couldn’t help but glare down at him but he either didn’t notice or didn’t care. How were you going to get him out of your face without saying something that was going to get you fired.

Your abruptly snapped out of your thoughts when a broom slaps him on top of his head knocking him back down to his original height.

“I thought I smelt your grimey-ass!” Lulu yells. repeatedly smacking him on top the head with the broom as they scramble away the best they can. “I thought I told your slimy ass. Not. To. come. To. my. shop.!” she abbreviates every word with a slap of the broom

He squeals and his tentacles writhe as he scurries like a rat for the door. Lulu whaps him hard on what you assume to be his ass, sending him flying out of the shop. All you can see is lulu breathing heavily from the exertion and you can feel the slimy repulsion and burning anger roll off of her. Like bubbling snot. You wont lie and say you don’t feel something similar yourself.

Lulu sadly looked at the floor where all the weird grease has slopped off his body which in fact did not look unlike snot itself. She sighed and looked at you. A silence filling the space as we just stared at the mess.

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like cleaning that up tonight,” she says her nose wrinkling up. You nod in agreeance. You pitied whoever had to clean that gross substance off the floor, but you wouldn’t have complained if she asked you to.

“so Im closing up shop, any monster that smells jerry’s stank will turn around and leave anyways.” She sighs again leaving to go walk over to the other register. You look down at your counter that still had a gunky pack of gum sitting on it. You needed a drink.

“Yeah that sounds like it’s for the best.” You say nodding and getting down from your chair. When you walk around your counter you see Lulu putting up a sign on the door.

“what’s that?”

“I’m closing up shop tomorrow too, I’m going to have someone come by and take care of the mess in the morning.”
She says as she steps out into the night. You shrug at that and go to follow her. You step over the slime and nearly gag, accidentally breathing in a waft of what smells like gym socks and spoiled meat. You scurried for the door eyes watering and lulu locks it behind you. Why did he smell like that?!

“I’m driving you home tonight, its late and jerry likes to linger around places that he shouldn’t be.” She gives you a stern look and gestures to her car. It wasn’t an offer as much as she was telling you that it was going to happen. For once your modesty took a back seat at the suggestion of jerry getting the bright idea of following you home.

Could you take him in a fight? Yes. The real question was if you would be able to take the smell. Your pulled out of your train of thoughts when you realize that lulu isn’t by the car and is instead by a dumpster that peeked from the alleyway between lulu’s shop and another. She chucks the broom in and you hear the quiet thud when it hits the bottom.

You wouldn’t want to keep that broom either. She unlocks the car door for you and you both hop in. The majority of the ride is silent and once again you see that the streets are dead. This time more so than usual, the shops that had remained open on other nights weren’t tonight. Which was weird since you were leaving work early. Even the neon sign of grillby’s was shut off. You wondered what kind of monster’s patron the bar, how many kinds of monster’s were there exactly.

“so..what kind of monster is jerry?” You ask breaking the silence.

“fortunately, he’s one of a kind”

“I think you mean unfortunately.” You cringe at the memory of his breath and his personality. But you’re grateful there aren’t more like him.

***

After taking a shower and washing the memory of that interaction down the drain you dry yourself off. Seeing that your boyfriend was online, you text Scott to ask him if it was cool with him if you went out with a friend. You waited a few minutes but not getting any sort of response. You throw on a robe and find lulu on the couch with wine. Looks like she needed a drink after all of that too.

“Hey lulu?”

“hmm?”

“can I ask you something?”

“sure shoot.”

“If I go to this get together ,would you be willing to go with me?”

“nah, Its not really my scene. I’m more of a homebody.”

“oh..I don’t have much experience with hanging out with people because you know” you gesture at yourself. “should I even bother going?”

“Yeah You should go! Youre young, and fun you just need to open up.” She slurs slightly finishing her glass in one go. You squint at her glass and wonder just how many she’s had.

“You say that like you’re old..” you mumble.

“How about this, you go and have fun and I wont call you short and cute for the next few days.” She smiles broadly at you.

You raise your eyebrows “say less.”

You swivel on your heels to head to your room. Deciding to buck up and just go. Fuko will be there, there would be at least one other person you knew at the party. Plus it would be good to meet new people and widen your friend circle. You only had about a half hour to get ready if you wanted to be there on time. which shouldn’t be a problem it was just going to be a small get together, so there’s no reason to get fancy.

You decide to wear a dress that has sat in your closet for years that you haven’t had the chance to wear. Your usual attire consisted of sweatpants, t-shirts or work clothes. Sure you owned things that you made but they usually consisted of frills and lace but those were for looking at not for wearing…in public. So, you pull out the dress you would wear for the night. it was one your best friend bought you for this very reason, but you bailed then, so you couldn’t bail now. You let your hair down from its usual bun and opted out for glasses for contacts, before applying light makeup. Simple mascara and lipstick.

You looked yourself over in the mirror. Staring at your body in a black bodycon dress and you felt self-conscious, so you threw on a cardigan on second guess. Easing your nerves before heading back out to the living room, to slip on a pair of short heeled boots. Maybe that would help you not be as noticeably short.

“you sure youre going to be alright alone?” I ask lulu who still situated on the couch enamored with whatever’s on tv.

“Yeah I’m just going to chill and watch a movie or something.” She says not looking up, laying there with a wine bottle hugged against her chest. Was it alright for her to be drinking human wine? You shrug she knows her body it should be fine.

You almost walk out the door to go to your car before You remember that it’s still in the shop and sigh. you call a uber and get your purse stopping to throw in a charger. The ride to the address she gave you was longer than expected, taking you farther out of the town than you’ve ever been. You had been so preoccupied with work that you never gotten around to just exploring.
It’s dark and the area is a little more secluded than the rest of town, but when the driver turns up the road you can see why. The houses here are spread out and huge. Were these mansions? Or just normal monster houses that were on the larger side?
It doesn’t take long to spot the house up ahead at the end of the street. This house larger than the rest of them with people spilling out of it and colored lights flashing from the bottom floor windows. You felt your stomach drop. this was not a small gathering at all. You hadn’t mentally prepared to be around this many people.
Fuko had said that her father wasn’t going to be home for a few days and you guess that meant every monster and their brother heard. The house was nice and the lawn was pretty and kept. When the uber pulled up you briefly entertained the idea of asking them to take you back home…But you were already here. you thanked the driver and got out. Making your way up to the porch, where monsters are lounging and talking, drinks in hand.

When you open the door youre smacked in the face with the mixed medley of zippy excitement, dizzying arousal, and the numbing drunk stupors of partygoers.

While luckily being around people that drank numbed the more negative emotions it did nothing for the contagious urge to join everyone. As you stepped into the house no one payed any mind, everyone was too busy dancing, drinking, or talking among each other. So, you set yourself to a simple task. Find fuko.

you sigh and calm your nerves. Beginning your first goal of the night , you look around and see mostly monsters, with a sparse sprinkling of humans mixed throughout the room. For some reason a few are glowing odd colors, forming swirling patterns under their skin. You note that everyone partying is wearing a glow stick somewhere on them and that the music was pretty good.

As you make your way through the crowd you’re surprised by how clean things were for a party this big. like people were scared of making a mess. Or more accurately the monsters were, going so far as to collect cups left out to toss. Which was weird but welcomed.

you walk through crowded areas and looks for the kitchen. maybe you could see what drinks they had to take the edge off. She finds it and they have a ton. There are way more bottles here than fuko bought only a few hours ago and you wonder if everyone had done their part in bringing something and you felt bad that you hadn’t. You look over the selection, all monster alcohol and two bottles of normal stuff but it went untouched. Maybe it was a good thing you hadn’t brought anything. you didn’t know a thing about monster alcohol. Nearby are some glow sticks with some index cards next to them taped to the counter.

Blue: wants to party alone.
white: talk to me!
Orange: talk and dance with me ; )
Green: im taken and im here for clean fun.

You eye the wink at the end of the “orange “description worriedly. Taking a green glow stick, you head back to the drinks while you put it on. You take a cup and look around at the glowing monster alcohol. You’re drawn to a red galaxy-esq one and pour a drop into a glass tasting it before filling your cup. Just how you liked it, sweet. There was no bite to it and it’d be your luck that you grabbed a virgin juice or something.

You go out into the crowd in search for fuko. After being pushed and shoved in the crowed with no such luck you find that your glass is empty before you even find a glimpse of her and decide that you need another, when you get back to the kitchen you munch on some of the snacks that were put out while you browse the drinks again. You start to feel the buzz from whatever you were drinking, and it was nice. So, it was actual alcohol then. You fill your glass again and head back out of the kitchen.

On your second attempt you don’t put as much energy into searching and stop in your tracks when a good song starts pumping through the speakers.(blinding lights by the weekend) you don’t know when it happens but you’re four cups in on god knows what and you start dancing not caring who looks and saw you acting like a fool. In fact, monsters and people alike join in and things start to go wild. Monsters pair up with you to dance in a blur, you vaguely remember a flaming smiling coil giving you a run for your money in a dance off, a gargantuan wolf, and a bear spinning you, when did the song change? You couldn’t keep track of how many you’ve danced with as faces and songs become a blur as you’re swept up into the crazy party energy. bass thumping being the only thing that grounded you. What were you supposed to be doing again?

The music gets wilder. You see some people paired up with monsters, a lot of people dancing more provocatively, grinding against each other and the song changes to EDM and you feel the crowd’s energy spike into something more erotic. it’s becoming hard to focus on anything, the over stimulation of the feeling making you feel like the world was spinning. You stop dancing when it’s becoming hard to breathe. You think you feel a hand on you where it shouldn’t be, but nothing is there when you look.

you move out of the crowd to go find somewhere to sit. Feeling hot, dizzy, and giggly. You’ve only had four cups at best you should just be tipsy. So, you decided that you are in fact not drunk and couldn’t be drunk as she stumbled to the couch that she found. There was a couple making out on it, not that you cared, and you didn’t know when one of your contacts had fallen out. All you knew was that you couldn’t see right.

you sat for a moment to catch your breath before you felt your stomach protest, you were hungry. So you shoved yourself up and went back to search for the kitchen, half blind. she found it again and grabbed some appetizers, once eaten she goes to get another drink. Nothing burned like she was used to, it tasted like a Shirley temple. After you finished your cup you eyed a different pretty glittery bottle of monster alcohol in a haze you stare mesmerized at the purple swirls that reminded you of a autumn sunset. Before deciding to take the whole thing with you out into the crowd of dancing monsters.

***

He is sitting out back on the deck by the pool when he hears loud cheering rising over the music. He outwardly sighs, wishing he didn’t care about grillby so much. Otherwise he wouldn’t bother coming to this stupid party to make sure no one wrecked their house. At least there were free drinks, and this time they wouldn’t be added to his growing tab. Reluctantly he goes to investigate.

He’s surprised to see a tiny human girl standing on a couch over where the DJ is set up with an upturned bottle of monster alcohol half the size of her torso. He must be catching the tail end of the spectacle because she finishes the bottle. Her skin vaguely glowing red, the monster alcohol casting glowing swirls under her skin. The light that the green glowstick necklace put off clashed against her skin. Huh, ‘taken and here for clean fun’ He raised a brow bone.

Jeez, that human shouldn’t have been able to put that all away herself, she was so small. He watched from the doorway as everyone cheered and as a few male monsters were eyeing her with something that showed that they hadn’t gotten the memo that she wasn’t up for grabs. which was apparent by the leering faces and magic that some of them were giving off.

He didn’t want to be the one that had to step in, That was her partners job. He looked around for who they might be and didn’t see anyone who particularly stood out. Had she come alone? As the human cheered she didn’t seem to notice some of the males start to practically circle her. She didn’t look like she would be the type that naturally attracted that sorta attention and it showed. Her black dress with a average neckline modestly showcased her petite body and her cardigan that she wore was a tell that she was uncomfortable in her own skin, because it was way too hot in this room with the press off dancing cheering bodies. While he admitted that she had a simple beauty about her, she wasn’t his type but it was apparent that she was for a good handful of the drunk people here. She was like undisturbed snow on an open field to a group of rowdy kids, and everyone wanted to be the first one to mess it up.

He could also see It in the way you held yourself. Even with liquid bravery in you he could see the underlying shyness. A dangerous combo for any human or monster that was drunk enough not to think straight or had questionable self-control. Making his decision to intervene he started to make his way over only to see Undyne wrap an arm around her shoulder, cheering and raising her own drink. Only serving to amp up the crowd causing them to cheer even louder.

He shrugs and turns to head back outside seeing that she already had someone that would keep an eye out for her. Undyne was damn-near a tank when it came to alcohol and had similar morals that he did. She wouldn’t allow anyone to take advantage of someone who obviously couldn’t defend themselves. We didn’t need to live that way anymore. Unfortunately, some monsters were upset about that.

Throughout the night he caught glimpses of Undyne sneering at dudes who would try to lure the human off somewhere alone. Other times throughout the night he would see the two as thick as thieves chating each other’s ear off from what he can tell. He almost stopped coming back into the house to check how everything was going, everyone more or less cleaned up their own mess only having to ‘politely’ remind people a handful of times before he didn’t need to anymore. Most of the offending party goers were human, monsters already knew better. So the only times he really ever headed back inside was when the cheering became so deafening that he needed to make sure that no one was trying to break anything.

After a couple of times of checking things out and seeing that once again the human in the black dress was at its epicenter he wasn’t surprised anymore. But he was surprised to see that the living room mostly empty except for a few stragglers still dancing and couples sitting on couches making out or asleep, faces sporting crude doodles. He follows the commotion and thumping of people stomping their feet. Sure enough she was at the center of all the chaos, sitting with undyne at the dining room table. He stood there in the doorway eye lights out as he took in the scene. Both sat at opposite ends shots lined up and two monsters holding the strongest type of monster alcohol there was, echo liquor. He cringed at his own experiences with the stuff. He watched as Lesser and Doggerssa rushed to poured new ones. Both undyne and the human looked like they were racing to finish all the shots first.

Was..was she trying to out drink undyne? No way, she had that whole bottle earlier. He couldn’t stop watching as they go through the line only for drinks to be replenished and you could see undyne flushed and sweating head struggling to stay upright as she swayed in her seat. The human catches up to the pourer’s shot. Snatching it out of their hands the moment they finish pouring. The crowd goes silent at the fact that she gets there before undyne. She tosses it back and the crowd erupts into ear rupturing celebratory noise, astonishment, and happy yelling. Raising her and bouncing her up and down in a wave of arms and hands.

Not wanting to see the after math of either undyne expelling the magic or realizing she’s been beaten in a drinking contest, -something that she has never in her life experienced defeat for- he makes a hasty retreat as the crowd begins to file back out to the living room. Happy to have made it back out just in time because the music is back to its bass thumping glory. He lazily makes his way over to the pool, happy by the lack of people out here. He can thank that human girl for drawing almost everyone inside allowing him to sit in a lounge chair by the pool to relax and drink on his own.

At some point he must have dozed off snapping awake when someone jumps into the pool a little too close for comfort. He manages to get out of the way before he was splattered with the gross smelling water, shooting the human that jumped in a glare. Why did humans feel the need to pump pool water full of that strong chemical shit? Maybe they couldn’t even smell it, He thought watching two more humans get a running start before throwing themselves in. Making his way back up to the deck he realizes that the music has died down and that it’s a lot quieter now. How long had he been asleep for?

Walking back into the house to head to the kitchen to see what food was left after being picked over, He sees that more than half of the people must have decided to go home signaling the end of the night. The party was beginning to die down he noted. He turns his attention to the food. Or more accurately crumbs. There wasn’t anything here worth eating and the food that was left sure as hell wasn’t monster food.

He leaves the kitchen grumpily and hears someone talking real low in hushed tones he picks up on talks of going somewhere quiet. He brushes it off as probably some horny couple, it was the end of the night and people have found whoever they wanted to spend their night with, He was only there to stop them from wrecking the house but he would’ve been damned if he had to be the one to keep someone from fucking in some secluded corner of the house. The last thing he wanted to see was two humans go at it.

He’s getting ready to go sit on the now empty couch when his ears prick at hearing a whine about not wanting to go with them and wanting to be left alone in a slur. He looks around and sees that the voice is coming from a human girl being practically dragged up the stairs by a rat monster, while she weakly trying to pull away. being clearly out of it. It was the human from earlier. He teleports to the top of the stairs, the dark angle of the hallway concealing him enough ensuring him that no one saw him do it. They would be too drunk to have seen him anyway before they got to the top landing. The monster freezes when he finally notices him waiting there, the human in tow still weakly trying to pull away.

He towers over the sack of shit rat monster. The monster wore a polo and shorts, belt unbuckled and dangling. So, he stares down at them with sockets devoid of eye lights, feeling a very real rage roll off him and into his magic. His grin grows with malice at the monster below him.

“so,” He says leaning down some to get a better look at them, they were just some weak monster that gets off on making others feel beneath them. He didn’t need to check their soul to see that.

“seems like the lady doesn’t wanna go with you…” He summons a bone with the girth and length of a baseball bat. If they wanted to act like this was the old world, he was happy to oblige. The rat is trembling now eyeing the bone warily.

“So, mind explainin’ what the actual fuck youre doing.” He adjusts the weight of the bone in his hand and the rat scurries back down the stairs and straight out the door.

He glances back to the girl; she doesn’t seem fazed at all by his display. Not showing a smidge of fear in fact she looks dazed and sleepy, so he takes her by the shoulders and turns her around leading her back down the stairs to main room. Her legs wobble like Jell-O but she gets to the bottom landing fine.

She stops and looks up at you smiling “Thankyew for not makin’ me dizzy, that person was makin’ me dizzy.” She slurs, arm limply gesturing towards what he guessed was supposed to be the door but had been off by a yard pointing at the wall.

“I don’ feel anything now tho,” she frowns before her eyes light up smiling. “ ooooh yur blank!”

Blank? Yeeeahh, she needs to drink some water. He gets her to sit down and leaves briefly to get her something other than alcohol. When He gets back, he’s hit with a wave of exhaustion and from the looks of it she was too. He gets her to drink some water letting her finish the whole cups worth.

whatever cloud she had over her mind seemed to have been slightly lifted, looking more aware of herself. as she drinks, he can’t shake the feeling that he knows her from somewhere but can’t place where.

It doesn’t matter he’s tired. He goes to sit in the love seat opposite her and keeps an eye out for more creeps. wondering where the fuck undyne went. Undyne was definitely going to have to owe him for having to watch over her ditched buddy or whatever. Why get a human drunk and leave them to the wolves, she knew better than anyone what human males do to drunk women left on their own so why chance it with some of the less savory attendees here. He was going to need to have a sit down with that shit eating rat, hoss. Things were just starting to look up for monsters and having some numb nuts taking advantage of a tiny human wasn’t a good look by any means. It was a good thing he had decided to stay and keep an eye out.

He drifts off in his thoughts but starts awake. Looking around, he sees that fuko is shaking him and the human is still on the other couch asleep. The party is over, and people have left. Minimal trash is left even after laying off on giving warnings towards the end of the night. Probably because grillby would figure out whoever made a mess and track them down individually before burning them alive, if his house was even remotely trashed.
“hey man, I’m sorry to wake you but you gotta head home before your brother freaks. I don’t want him coming here and busting down the door looking for you.” she says, burning low. She must be tired too.

he grumbles in agreeance but still glares at her. “so where the fuck were you the entire night? I didn’t see you once.” He says getting up, stretching and yawning.

He catches her flame flicker and flare from the corner of her eye, green flame turning teal. “I uh..was upstairs.” She says fidgeting.

He pauses in his stretch, raising a browbone in realization before dropping his arms. “oh. Gross.” He deadpans.

Fuko’s flames rose and brightened teal shifting in electric blue embarrassment. “Oh shut up! Anyway can you take her home for me?”

He huffs, “ n’ how is taking her home my responsibility? I stopped her from getting assaulted while you were upstairs getting your flame stoked.”

“sans don’t be such a dick,.”

“ you sure you wanna bring up dicks right now fuko?” He raises a brow bone at her. She was lucky he was so tired, or you would be teasing her pretty hard. Heh, hard.

“will you stop! Ugh why did I even say anything. Just Take her home and I’ll owe you one.”

“You’ll owe me twice so I don’t tell big daddy grillby that you were getting boned while he was away” He says matter-of-factly, glancing at his phone “ for four whole hours?” he gives her a grossed out pitying look. “musta been some trash if you’re still walking.”

She smacks his chest full electric blue and pluming. He doesn’t dodge it and pats out the part of his shirt that had begun to smolder.
He chuckled at her, he always teased fuko whenever he could. she was the closest thing he’d have to a sister. So, he was grossed out to hear that she was fucking in the same house that he was in, literally over his head. doesn’t mean he wasn’t going to give her some shit for it though. Now that is one boning he would’ve put a stop to.

“FINE” she says with a huff crossing her arms. “and if I had known that someone was trying to pull some bullshit in my house I would’ve made a bonfire of them myself, but thanks for looking out for her.” She sighs and looks over at her.

“I’m glad she had fun at least, I did catch the tail end of her escapades. I didn’t think she had it in her.” She smiles. All traces of blue gone flames burning low again, flickering gently. “I know she’s in good hands, so thanks in advance for getting her home.”

So she was a friend of hers? Leave it to fuko’s friends to cause trouble.

“yeah sure, whatever”

“well its late and I need to kick out anyone who’s left, I’m beat” she says before heading off for the dining room next.

He turns his attention to the girl, who is still glowing from drinking all that damn alcohol. An ungodly amount by the way. He checks her stats briefly to see her HP. all of the numbers are fluctuating at random in no real pattern that he could tell, how much had he drank. Looking at them too long gave him a headache. what the hell? Must be from fatigue it really was getting late. She didn’t seem to be in any danger at least from what he could tell. As he moves to gather the girl up to teleport, he realizes that fuko didn’t give him an address. So, he tries to wake her to no avail.

fuck it, he decides to go through her purse. Hoping to find what he was looking for. Gum, charger, phone, pepper spray. He nodded at that, at least she carried some kind of self-defense with her. He searches some more and finds what he’s looking for, her wallet. He pulls out her ID with her address. he double takes at the picture and looks back at you.

While you do resemble the picture, it was still questionable. No, he is probably seeing someone who just looks similar, no way that timid store clerk was you. he hauls you up and puts you over his shoulder. Didn’t someone tell him that humans had like six look-alikes around the world or something. He slides the ID back into her wallet. He walks to the dark sunroom and teleports to the address, He’s not worried about her seeing him use his magic, she was out cold. He’s quick to get you off of him knowing there might be a chance you might vomit. But nothing happened. He looks around and doesn’t see any witnesses to him teleporting. However, this area did look really familiar. He finds the key and pulls it out of her purse and unlocks the door. Carrying her awkwardly inside he was surprised to find the lights on.

Lulu is sitting in the living room on the couch, feet propped up under a blanket watching tv. He stands there mortified. That’s why this place looked familiar, it was at the other end of his neighborhood. This was lulu’s new place He had helped her move-in a few months back, in exchange for a discount on any mustard he bought this year. He knows this looks sort of suspicious but doesn’t stay frozen for long more worried about the wrath he’ll receive if he stays out any later. He really did not need a lecture after a night like tonight. He takes her to the couch while Lulu watches.

“hmmm?” she says, its not a word but it was obvious that she was thinking something dirty. No, he wasnt here to fuck a human, He had a willing one back at his place. But he didn’t want that either.

“fuck off, Fuko asked me ta get her home.” He says stating simply. feeling her eyes bore into him.
Once Lulu’s roommate is propped up on the couch he turns to her with a glare, “she might need some water or somethin’ she drank a whole bottle ta herself and then some.” answering Lulu’s questioning stare.

Lulu says nothing and just smirks with a eyebrow raised…“don’t worry I won’t tell your girlfriend youre taking drunk girls home, if you don’t.” she teases flopping back down onto the couch turning back to the tv. “plus, just so you know I call dibs.” She says.

he rolls his eyes not really caring if she’s serious or not and leaves out the front door before finding a good spot to teleport home. He didn’t feel like walking and maybe if he teleported directly to bed his girlfriend and papyrus wouldn’t bother him. Lulu better not tell anyone he had been by, he didn’t need the drama.

Chapter Text

You wake up feeling foggy. You could hear a loud sluggish heartbeat in your ears. You try to roll over in your bed only to roll off and hit the floor in a tangle of blankets, letting out a startled yelp. looking around you see that you’re not in your room but instead on the floor of your living room.
You inspect yourself to see that you’re wearing a black dress and hazy half formed memories floated to the surface of your mind and you groaned. You guess that you never made it to your room. You glance at the blankets that are now weaved around your legs. Had Lulu given you a blanket? You sighed. Hopefully, you hadn’t made a fool of yourself in front of Lulu. again.
Untangling yourself from the mess of blankets you notice a glass of water with a note next to it. Picking it up you read it,

“heard what you did last night, drink water and rest today. I went to the store to check up on the cleanup. if all goes well, I’ll open shop but don’t feel like you have to come in. take the day off.”

Wait what? Your heart leaps at what you could have done last night. You try to search your memories for what you might have done, but you come up empty handed. So instead you go through her phone checking through pictures to see just what happened at the party.

There were pictures of you literally glowing red next to a muscly grinning fish woman. you both seem to be laughing at something, you keep swiping through them and find yourself mortified to see that in every other picture you have a new bottle of alcohol in your hands.

Oh god how did you not die, maybe you didn’t actually drink each bottle to yourself. More importantly How did you get home?? You worry about having done something scandalous or unfaithful in the time that you blacked out. Not that you had any want to do those things but who’s to say that with the drinks and you being able to feel…well things you didn’t want to feel, that something hadn’t happened. You don’t see any evidence that this was the case. With nothing to prove or disprove your worries, you decided you would focus on what you knew you could find.

You look through your social media, which got a clean bill of health. Good no drunken texts, you check your notifications to see a new contact with a picture of that fish woman under the name of ‘piranha guzzler’. The hell? You stave off conflicted feelings as you read the texts. They sound aggressive and worried all at once. Did you provoke someone at the party or…

Piranha guzzler:
Hey u good punk??
U get home u idiot?
Are u alive?
HEY
DONT make me find you punk

These texts were all from this morning and have been coming in every hour or so. Hesitantly you tap out a reply.

You:
hi sorry
don’t remember much but im home
thank you for checking in on me.

No more than a second later she calls. Grinning fishy face appearing on the screen of your phone. You stare at the screen. Usually, you could get a feel for a person and if they have good intentions when you read them, but you aren’t able to do that right now.

You have little to no memory of last night and you couldn’t read her through a phone. There haven’t been any monsters that sported any ill will against you so far though. Well except jerry…you sigh and pick up on the last ring. But that was jerry.

“THERE YOU ARRE!” a booming menacing voice comes across the speakers.

You flinch and pull the phone away from your ear. Their voice seemed to fit their face she sounded like she had just gargled saltwater, but the volume and power of their voice was akin to an opera singer. But somehow you figured she’d be more the type to sing heavy metal. You feel sweat bead up at the back of your neck.

“You had me and my girlfriend worried! if you didn’t answer she was GONNA kill me for leaving you alone at that party.”

“But in my defense, I didn’t think I’d black out. never seen anyone outdrink me, ‘specially some weak human.” She guffawed. “I told her if she can out drink ME then she could definitely handle herself.”

”Im no light weight but Ive never beaten anyone in a drinking contest before…also how much did I drink exactly I remember the first four cups but I'm blanking after that…”

“FOUR CUPS???” she chortles. “punk you drank more like five BOTTLES to yourself. I was surprised you could still STAND” you fidget nervously as you listen. “man You were the life of the PARTY! You kept getting the crowd going, dancing, and singing like every time the crowd got crazy you made it WILD.”

As you listened you felt like you were gunna die of embarrassment.” So, hey I'm sorry my memory isn’t the best after last night. I didn’t catch your name.”

” GUHAHAHA WHAT?? You were so drunk that you can't remember? The name is undyne punk.”
You hear muffled talking in the background and you hear undyne confirm something. “Heya punk I gotta go but I'll see you around. Oh and make sure to drink milk. You drank a lot of monster alcohol. It'll help some or if you can go to the monster store get some hangover medicine. Kbye.”

You look at the phone as you here the doot doot doot of the ended call.

…Milk for a hangover? But you don’t feel hungover. Only weird and buzzy. Like almost vibrating. You drink the water that was left out for you and try to get up to go and get ready. You know that the note says you could take the day off but you wanted to keep your job and your good standing with lulu. you didn’t want her to start thinking that you were lazy or weren’t taking your job seriously.

Well, if you were being honest with yourself you just didn’t like being home on your own for too long. Being busy gave you less time to sit around and think plus, it felt better to come home from being out most of the day. Like coming home to rest after a short vacation. Your legs wobbled horribly when you stood. But otherwise, you didn’t feel sick or anything. nice.
You headed to the kitchen and poured yourself some milk and gingerly drank it as per instructed. Why milk? did it need to be monster milk or was she giving you a random hangover remedy she thought would be good for humans? Did monsters even have kidneys to get hangovers? They must have she had said something about monster medicine.
Once you were done drinking your milk you take your unanswered questions with you as you head to the bathroom to do damage control. As you expected, you see that your makeup is smeared and worn. There’s no sign that you had worn lipstick at all and the remnants of your mascara created a sloppy smoky eye effect. But at least your skin is no longer glowing red like you were in those pictures. Maybe it was the lighting? You wash off your face and take out your only contact. Now basically blind.

You go to your room and snatch your glasses from your vanity where you last left them and gathered your clean work clothes to shower. You think about last night but still couldn’t remember much. Just a lot of fuzziness and being dragged by new dance partners and laughing and music but no distinct details.

You finished showering and towel-dried your hair before placing it in a bun. You grab your purse and phone before stopping by the couch to fold up the blanket that you had left on the couch. You put on your shoes still buzzing and feeling wobbly. You manage to get to work though, monsters throwing you thumbs up and knowing smiles the whole way. Which only spurred you to get there faster. You were still early since your shift usually started at noon. You check in with lulu to see if there was anything, she needed you to do. You found her near the back stocking up an aisle in the empty store.

When you call to her, she jumps, head swiveling to look at you. Her concern bundles you in a swath of warmth. “May you’re here? you alright?”

you look at her confused “yeah, I'm just here for my shift besides the register, is there anything you want me to do to help out?”

she looks at you concerned but shrugs “nope that should be fine, it should be a slow day today so let me know if you need anything.” you nod and go to your usual spot.

Later, Lulu lets you know that today will be a slow day since the word had already gotten around of jerry’s visit and that you could use your phone to pass the time. You feel weird being told that at a job, so you use it discreetly choosing to read a book you never got to catch up on. You discreetly read the electronic book sitting your phone between the wall and register so it's out of view. Hopefully, a calming book will stop this buzzing feeling. Periodically you get a customer who comes to check out and they commend you on your drinking tolerances or dancing skills from last night. Some even asking if you’re going to be at any other party that they should know about. while you let them know that you probably wouldn’t be, they all seem disappointed. Which caused a blush every time at the unwanted attention. To hide your embarrassment with feigned indifference opting to just shrugging and not looking them in the face. unfortunately, they took this as you being shy. you could practically feel their emotions yelling ‘aww’ at you. Not helping your rising blush. At. all.

You check them out and make sure to say thank you for shopping with us. You go back to reading when you get another lull in customers. You get sucked into your book so when someone drops items on the counter you make an undignified yelp and nearly smack your phone off the counter.

You look up to see that It’s that skeleton monster again, you don’t really feel anything from him, you just feel numb. A lot like the blank wash you got from your boyfriend but not quite. Curious you unintentionally try to seek it out, struggling to place the feeling. This felt the same as trying to breathe without lungs. Right now, said skeleton monster was looking down at you with red eye lights as if he’s unsettled by something.

Your eyes quickly skitter away from him. For the first time meeting, you were meeting a monster that you were fearful of. You could feel something, not unlike dread as your skin prickled into goosebumps. This wasn’t your first time meeting him, but it was your first time truly feeling the absence of anything to read. Scott was a blank page, where in comparison this book did not exist. You suppress a shiver and look down you start to ring him up. he only huffs in what sounds like frustration but doesn’t say anything.

You knew the feeling wasn’t anything threatening like malice or murderous intent. it just felt wrong. Unnatural. It didn’t help that the longer they stood there the more you feel like you were staring into the abysmal pit of a black hole. you try to steady your voice as you tell him the total but to your dismay your voice wavers. when you turn back around, he and the groceries are gone. Once again leaving the rounded-up total on the counter in gold.

Confused you look around with him nowhere in sight. If this was anything like last time, then he’s left the building leaving just you and lulu in the store. so when you feel your chest squeeze unpleasantly you look over to where shes now changing out a poster. She seemed fine, putting out pleased feelings she put up another mettaton brand advertisement. But even the calming feelings that came your way didn’t ease your discomfort. Where was this coming from? Almost as if lulu could feel you staring she turns to look at you. She eyes you for a moment before she frowns.

“may. Go home.”

You're startled at that. Was she angry? “uh..” she walks into the aisle next to her and reappears a moment later from another with a small box

“You look like shit and you’re sweating. “ she says she places the box on the counter. “so I want you to go home.” She says not waiting for a response.

“I’m fine, I have the day off tomorrow anyway I-“

“may. Home.” She says crossing her arms.

You felt her blinding rock-hard resolve and decided to give up. You didn’t feel any sort of disappointment from her at least. You take the box from the counter and get down from your chair. Lulu raises an eyebrow at you when you turn to her.

“thank you, lulu, I’ll make it up to you for this,” you say

“for what?”

“This is hangover medicine right?”

She nods, “yeah but don’t worry about it and just get some rest. You’ve fed me enough times without asking for anything back so consider it paid for in advance.” She waves her hand flippantly as if to wave away the embarrassment you feel from her. “okay no more stalling out.” Abruptly she puts her hands on your shoulders and turns you around, pushing you out of the door.

“Go home!” she calls over your shoulder as she heads back in.

Once outside you blink once. Twice. You shrug. You guess you would be home by yourself today. You sigh. At least that strange feeling from earlier was starting to ebb away, even if the buzzing hadn't. You're pleased to see there’s still some daylight out, maybe you could get a better look at the shops that were usually closed. You definitely were going to grade another nicecream.

There are still monsters out at this time of day and to your dismay, they haven’t forgotten your reign of embarrassment Terror from last night. The thought strikes you that you forgot to ask lulu about what happened. You catch the looks of a few more monsters, So much for window shopping, you were going to head home as fast as you could. Even though today isn’t nearly as hot as a few nights ago the brisk pace you’ve set for yourself has you feeling warmer than you like. It takes you a moment to realize the reason why was because you were still wearing your apron. You freeze where you stand on the sidewalk.

You know the heat on your face was undeniable and that it couldn’t be blamed on mild exercise. You tear it off of you and shove it into your purse. You glance around to see only one or two monsters who may have noticed. Lets just say any amount was too many. Great now you were walking around in public in the oversized apron. You put your head down and try your best to get home and not draw any more attention to yourself. You still buzz from the alcohol last night, and not the drunk kind. Your hands are humming with energy under your skin, you could vaguely hear it as you walked. It sounded like the hum of those fluorescent light bulbs you’ve seen in home depot.

Maybe it was a good thing that lulu had sent you home. You only spare a glance at the corner store. All want for the frozen treat gone as you have a singular goal in mind. Get home. You had been so adamant about not wanting to be alone but now that’s all you wanted. As you walked all you could hear was the stagnant hum in your ears. As it grew, you weren’t able to focus at all on blocking out any emotions flung your way. You didn’t know when your brisk pace had turned into a flat out run and you lost count of all of the faces that gave you odd looks.
None of these feelings subsided even after you get home. Still being pulled apart by the tsunami of emotions that followed you even after you got away from the source. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t even tell which emotion was which as it buried you. Needles, Humming, blinding fog, choking vines, violent spiraling, falling, pop rocks, searing heat.

You slide to sit down against the door you’re leaning on, you cant think. Not able to fit in a single thought among the crashing waves of each feeling as it recedes only for a second before another comes crashing in. Not giving you enough time to process the last. Turning you into a husk of raw emotion.

When your mind finally begins to exit the loop you feel like you’ve aged a hundred years. You can't remember the last time that’s happened. Not that you bother to try and remember when or where you had the last attack it didn’t matter, and you were exhausted. You look up to see that dusk has painted the room in murky pinks and oranges, barely making a dent in the darkness of the rest of the room. In the state you were in you had dragged yourself over to the middle of the living room floor, where you still lie.

You stare outside the sliding glass door to watch the sun disappear behind the mountain in the distance. colors slowly fading into the deep blue of the evening. giving you a vague sense that you should appreciate the view but you feel so gratefully numb, even though the feeling hadn’t stopped it was like the lapping of pool water compared to the crash of waves that you had to experience earlier.

You sit there in the dark with no energy, and after a long while, you have to force yourself to get up. Move. To do anything. Even though you didn’t want to, you know what would happen if you didn’t work to brush this off. Work for it. You repeat this to yourself like a mantra as you make your way to your bed. Walking felt like a monumental feat but you make it there, flopping down onto it.

Triumph. A tiny emotion, but it was yours. You made sure to cherish it. You worked to feel out your own feelings in your dazed state. Mind still bleary. You felt…pleased that your blankets were cool, and things were calm. You imagined a small garden and that all your feelings were like plants. Watering some and pruning others. Your own feelings never were as vivid as the ones that other people put off and you were glad you didn’t get the sensations you usually did for your own emotions.

You sigh into your pillow. When you go to move your hand to get comfortable you realize you're still holding onto the box Lulu gave you. In fact, you were still in your work clothes, purse still wrapped around you. You stiffly move to sit in your bed and look down at the crumpled box. You must’ve crushed it earlier and didn’t even notice. You open it to inspect the damage and see that it’s a small jar. You work it out of the packaging to see that there’s nothing wrong with it and that it's more like an ointment pot. Like what Vaseline comes in. you turn the box over to where the instructions were and could make out

“ apply generously anywhere needed. Not for internal use.” You couldn’t figure out what anything else said because the cardboard was so heavily creased that the print was no longer legible.

You don’t ask any questions, deciding that if lulu thought some ointment would make you feel better than you’d just have to trust her. You spread some on your arm. It felt cool on your skin and the buzzing that you didn’t realize had still been there, began to die down, and disappear where you applied it. A luminescent glow began to radiate off the ointment and something akin to translucent gentle embers began to float upwards before disappearing taking the uncomfortable feeling with it. You watched the ointment disintegrate and float up off you before disappearing with the rest of the embers. You repeat this with each limb and receive the same result. Finally, you smear some on your forehead, and all humming you hear stops.

You drop back into your bed. The only feelings you feel are your own now. You decide that you're never touching monster alcohol again. Even if it wasn’t the cause of your attack, you didn’t want to ever hear that buzzing again, It would forever be associated with the event you haven’t experienced in years.

However now you no longer felt like sleeping. You don’t know what that ointment does exactly but while your mind still feels drained your body feels like you’ve just drunk straight up expresso. You pull out your phone, Lulu isn’t off work yet. Usually, around this time you would be starting dinner but for once you didn’t feel like cooking or doing any real physical activity. Not that you felt hungry anyway.

You head into your messaging app. Scott is online. You felt your heart flutter.

You:
Hey, can we talk?
I really need someone to talk to.

Surprisingly enough his chat bubble appears as he types out a message of his own.

Baescotti:
Im sorry babe but im out with friends right now, but I promise we can talk tomorrow

You:
Hey
I know you have to go
But are we okay?

You watch as the speech bubble appears and disappears as he types. And the longer you watch the more you feel your stomach drops.

Baescotti:
Yeah
I just miss you

You frown, somehow you don’t think that was what he wanted to say but you don’t press further. You would need to visit soon. Maybe he was mad that you hadn’t, a part of you had held off because you had hoped he’d come to visit you instead since you weren’t eager to be ‘home’ any time soon.

Baescotti:
Gtg
I wont be around for till late tomorrow tho
But I love you ttyl <3

You: I love you too. Goodnight.

you sadly droop. You were disappointed that you hadn’t gotten to talk to him lately he was always so busy, and you knew he was so tired when he got home from work and college classes that you couldn’t really blame him. It was rare that he ever went out and ever did anything fun. So you were glad he was at least making new friends at their college.

It still made you sad though, this felt familiar. The quiet nagging feeling that something was wrong. You left your phone on your bed and ease off of it. peeling off your now sweaty work clothes and changing into something more comfortable. By comfortable you mean the baggiest t-shirt you own and shorts. You pad barefoot on the hardwood floors making your way through the still dark living room, leaving the lights off and walking out onto the balcony. Lulu doesn’t come out here much, when she first moved in with you she made it clear that she didn’t want to look at the mountain more than she had to. So you mostly have the balcony to yourself.

You shuffled over to the chair that sat and plopped down into it. You give a side long glance at the telescope that sat there angled up at the sky beside you. Tonight, was clear and moonless. Not shedding any light on you as you sat alone on the balcony. Luckily, it makes for a great night to see stars. You look up through the telescope that your dad gifted to you years ago. Getting lost in memories from when you were a kid. Learning about which constellations meant what, and how to use them to always be able to find your way home.

“may, if you’re ever lost, I want you to look up at them and let them help you find your way back.”

“But daddy I know where home is. I play in the forest all the time!”

“When you’re older you’ll see that home isn’t always a place.”

You smile as you remember him raising you up and over him to sit on his shoulders. Heading back home while you tried to argue that homes had roofs so it had to be a place and he would just laugh good-naturedly agreeing with you. You hadn’t felt anything other than love from him then.

You haven’t felt like you’ve known where your home was ever since he left. You honestly didn’t know when you were ever going to get up the nerve to apologize. Even though he never asked for an apology.

You stare up at the abundant amount stars that night and remember all of the wishes you’ve cast upon them over the years.

Chapter Text

Sunlight wakes you up steadily but not gently. When you finally give up on sleep you lay there miserable, and not knowing why. You lazily watch dust glitter as its path crosses the ray of light that comes through your parted curtains before sighing and rolling over. taking your phone out from under your pillow you go to text your boyfriend.

You:
Goodmorning
Hope you had fun yesterday
<3

you know you probably wouldn’t get an answer till the evening and that was alright, at least he always made sure to get back to you. Your stomach turned at the idea of going back to your hometown, but you knew you needed to suck it up and see him before it started to hurt your relationship even if it meant running into people you didn’t want to see; but money had been tight and the trip wasn’t really cheap…plus he hadn’t complained about it, even though it’s been about a month…. You pop out of bed.

“oKAY!” you say loudly to no one in particular.

time to get moving. Staying in bed made you linger on things that made you feel down. You were over thinking things as usual; Scott had even said so! You trust him, things should be fine. you put on your glasses and head off for the kitchen. Today was your day off you decide that you were gunna enjoy it. You cook a breakfast of some scrambled eggs and bacon attempting to dodge out the way of spitting bacon grease. There was something calming and satisfying about listening to the loud sizzling of bacon in the morning. Or it would’ve been If you hadn’t just got smacked in the arm with a spatter of hot grease. When the smell of the food permeated the room, your stomach clenched in hunger.
Did you even eat yesterday? You had drunk some milk, but you weren’t sure if you had eaten anything. Once you plate the food for lulu and yourself, you make sure to cover her plate before running the pan in the sink.

You look over to the unlit dining room and you decided it would be good enough to eat in front of the tv instead. You settled in on the couch placing the warm plate on your lap clicking on the tv to catch up on anime. As you eat you savor the salty crispiness of the bacon, not being able to stop yourself from marveling at the monster food. In comparison to human food it didn’t have any differences you could see in its flavor or texture. You only get a few episodes in when you get a text. Its not the same notification that you’ve set for your boyfriend, but you check it anyway. Surprised to see that it’s Emily, unlocking your phone to read it.

Oh-Em-gily:
omg you had a lot of fun at that party didn’t you?

you looked at it confused. How did she know about the party you hadn’t told her when you went.

You:
if you can even say that
I barely remember the party
and apparently I made a friend.

Oh-em-gily:
ooo a friend? Did you finally go home with someone?

The message is littered with smug emoji’s, and you glare at the screen as if she could see it.

You:
you know I didn’t!
as if I would bring home a stranger plus I have a boyfriend!

Oh-em-gily:
Whatever
but anyway I was texting about was about what you did at the party!
You do know ur all over undernet right?
Looks like you have yourself some admirers!

Oh god
Whats Undernet
And did I do anything that I need to avoid going outside for

Oh-em-gily:
here I’ll let you see for yourself

you wait anxiously for the videos and she sends a few links. The links sent you to a app you had to download, it looked like a monster web browser of some kind. Once installed you Clicked on the links and you see that each are a few minutes long…with you in the center of each thumbnail glowing like a stoplight. Oh jeez.
The first video is of you drinking with undyne at a long hardwood table which would look elegant if not for the two people sitting at it. You watched the video as everyone was gathered around you and her while you both took turns drinking shots. Each time you finished a round like it was water the crowd cheered. Thumping the table whooping and clapping. The video ends with you still going strong and undyne starting to wobble. Well, that explained why so many monsters kept giving you props throughout the day yesterday.
The second video was of you, undyne and another monster. All three of you were hooked by the arms and kicking our legs out, standing on the porch roof while we sing a drunken song that sounded like a horrible uncoordinated version of benny and the jets. Some lyrics were just wrong altogether, instead of electric boots we were practically yelling electric boobs and mole hair toot. But apparently that didn’t matter because everyone in the party had joined your group outside to sing along .
The last video is of you dancing literally like no one was watching and It was mortifying. You recognized the song as one of your favorites but what in gods name where you doing. How were you moving your limbs like that. You watched the hurkey-jerky motions that you had made and started to feel your appetite leave you, embarrassment soon taking over any feeling of hunger that you had.

Monsters and humans alike seemed to adore your energy though because they seemed to join in and do a similar dance even if it wasn’t as intense. In the comments of the video you could see that apparently there were some monsters that thought the dance was even alittle sultry. How??? And what even is a moldsmol.

Even with the tremendous amount of embarrassment, a small part of you was glad that you had kept on all of your clothes. Given, you had tied your cardigan around your waist. You’re also glad that you hadn’t fallen asleep or that’s what you assumed since there was a lack of videos featuring your passed out self being pranked that you could find but you still didn’t know how you had gotten home. you had checked and you hadn’t bought a trip in a uber so how?... had you brought someone home? You frowned. If you had would you have felt any different.

Oh-em-gily:
did you watch them???
Theyre awesome I didn’t know u had it in you.
Maybe u can get something else n you and then maybe you can do something even MORE fun.”

My stomach rolled at the text. Cheating wasn’t something you were willing to do. But the possibility that it might have happened without your knowledge made you feel sick.

You:
that’s not funny.

Oh-em-gily:
okay okay but seriously don’t forget about today
you promised me youd come support me

You:
I didn’t forget I wouldn’t leave you hanging,
but what do you need me for anyway you never told me

Oh-em-gily:
well….
you know how ive been dating someone for a while?

You:
yeah the red head right?
With the cool vitiligo spots?

Oh-em-gily:
nooo, that was like two boyfriends ago!
This one is special but It sorta a new relationship, so I dont wanna scare him off too early
But I want you to get a judge on him before things get serious

You agree, she’s dated a lot of dirt bags in the past and usually if you dont vet them then the relationships ended up disastrous. Which would later result in weeks of late-night talks in order to calm her down enough from doing something she’d regret. You sigh.

You:
ill be there, send me the time and address

She does, and with the meetup being in the next three hours you decide to go wash the dishes and get ready. You go to your closet and you decide that you want to look like something other than bummy. You dig in your closet for an outfit and pulled out a long paper-bag waisted skirt and a loose button up blouse. You pulled your hair into a half up messy bun with a clip. Sliding into vans you grabbed your purse before You leave your room you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and shrugged. Not the most fashionable person out there but you tried. You had another hour to be there so you’d be plenty early. Luckily, from the looks of it the place we were meeting was that little bakery that you had wanted to visit before. You had been good with your money, so you guess you could treat yourself this time. You excitedly walked a little faster practically skipping to the bakery.

When you get there you still have a little over 30min and your friend isn’t punctual, so you walk through the doors hoping to get at least one or five pastries in you before they arrived. Can’t intimidate someone while you’re happily munching away at a pastry. You’re hit with the smell of freshly baked sweets and your hunger is renewed. You almost grin when you look around the shop, it looked like the décor hadn’t left the Victorian era. Deep expresso hardwood floors were so dark they were almost black. Polished so well you would think they would be slippery. When you looked closely you could see a subtle web pattern in graved in it for traction. The curtains are blackout ones allowing for a warm and calming atmosphere provided by the vintage fluorescent lighting, filament reflecting on purple lacy weavings that seemed to dance from each wire. How pretty. You make your way over to the counter vaguely aware of yourself as you’re distracted with how unique and intricate the decorations are. you absently wonder how long it took some one to make those, it didn’t look cheap or factory made. And you know making lace is a pain in the butt. Especially a custom pattern.

“need anything dearie?”

you jump at the voice behind you and quickly turn around. You had been staring at the ceiling and hadn’t realized that you were just standing there with your back to the counter like a idiot. You’re about to say something but all words are forgotten when you look at the monster in front of you. She was a spider monster with the same taste in clothes as you. Her clothes were a modern take on a Victorian maid, shortened and colored purple with a ton more lace and frills added to it. It was pretty on her and she had a unnaturally skinny waist that a human could never achieve which gave her a doll like appearance. Her hair was tied into two ponytails at the side of her face tied with a bow and the rest cut into a bob. She had five eyes the color of black diamonds that gleamed in the warm lighting.

“wow..”

The feelings you get from her flicker from one to the next, changing too quick and being too complicated to get a grasp on which was which. You cant decide if you’re grateful for that or if its overwhelming so you settle on tuning out the flicker and let them be unreadable.

“hohoho is there something on my face?” she flashes her sharp teeth in a smile just as sickly sweet as her voice.

This time you very clearly feel the choking prickly vines of trepidation and suspicion.

“nothing, you’re just really pretty” you say still a little distracted until you realized what you said. a blush comes rushing to your face, you had been staring at her like a weirdo. Great, now She probably thinks you’re rude.

“uh sorry! I was distracted by the decorations they’re really nice.” You say trying to change the subject looking away trying to occupy yourself with the assortment of pastries. The monster doesn’t say anything but if you had been looking you would have caught a shocked blush on her.

However, you could feel her suspicion waver as its hold loosened to that of the gentle wrap of morning glory vines.

“well thank you, I’ll let the staff know. they worked awfully hard on it.” she says. You’re grateful that she doesn’t seem to mind and relax some.

She clears her throat “My name is muffet and this is my bakery.”

“Well it’s a nice place, I’m sad I never stopped in before. “ You point up at the ceiling where the decorations “that must’ve taken forever to make! I can’t see any separations for where it starts and ends and the detail on it is crazy.”

Muffet just laughs at that. “dearie, that may be true for a human but were spiders. Who do you think taught humans to weave in the first place?”

You feel her puffy pride. It felt like it was full of hot air.

At that your eyes focus on the movement of fuzzy little balls moving from the corner of you eye. Over by a cupcake display case you see a group of spiders move a pastry into its case. Each the circumference of a half dollar coin and FLUFFY! you dart over mid conversation to get a closer look as they work to put pastries away. You feel the faint happy hum radiate off of them.

“oh no youre so cute!” you say, your chin practically on the counter. they all freeze in place with their tiny front arms raised in defense, much like an actual spider would. Except they were more fluff than legs reminding you a lot of the soot sprites in spirited away. You feel the echoing of the feeling of clenching anxiety throughout the room. You look around to see that there were a lot more spiders around than you had noticed before. They were all throughout the lace you had been admiring, perched on the top of curtain rods and behind muffet. Speaking of which muffet was radiating blind shock and with the rest of the spiders putting off the same feeling in unison albeit small, altogether it felt immense.

You blush, feeling like you’ve just did something you probably shouldn’t have. “oh sorry im probably too close” you say to yourself stepping back. Their anxiety wanes slightly but they hesitantly go back to finishing what theyre doing before scurrying away. It seemed like they had wanted to get away as fast as possible, but before you could feel bad about possibly scaring them off they quickly returned holding tiny signs above their heads.

The overall anxiety in the room had died down and there seemed to be this mild zippy excitement.

“thank you, it’s a first”
“try our cherry meringue pie! Its new”
“our pastries are cuter!”

you smile at the fluffy balls that you’re pretty sure are the staff that muffet had mentioned. You make your way over to her to order.
“can I have a slice of the cherry meringue pie and...”
you quickly browse the menu of drinks above her to see a spider pointing to an item. You smile at it

” a spider cider please?” you glance at her and she’s frozen for a second too before snapping out of it in loud prim laughter.

“Huhuuhuuhuu.” She smiles wide “why yes! Now I do have to legally let you know that everything I make here is made with spider dust. My pastries are made by, for and with spiders!” she said cheerfully.

You’ve heard of this once you think, probably in some article that dust was just about the same as monster food. And you’ve eaten plenty of that since you worked in a monster supermarket. You shrug.

“that should be fine, im not allergic to monster food so I shouldn’t be to this”

Muffet nods cheerfully and gets the items ready her arms almost moving rythmicly. Order ready in seconds. While she rings you up you ask

“do the spiders mind being eaten? Id feel bad if they watch me eat someone they knew or..” you trail off bashfully looking at one of the fluffy spiders sitting idly on a display case.
“oh no dearie! There are so many of them that when they go to have their own children, they rapidly age and dust. some don’t live longer than a few days. All they know are pastries. They come into this world sweet and lovable and want to leave the world the same way.”

You smile bittersweetly at the fluff balls it was sad that they wouldn’t be around for long. Muffet gives you the total which is around fifteen dollars. She gives you your change and You go to sit down at one of the tables by the drapes. You sip at the spider cider and your pleasantly surprised by its flavor. Its calming and it almost has a buzzing quality to it that has you leaning into your seat. Any tension you did have In you is gone. Never to be seen again.
You try the pie and you cant help but dig in. you’ve never heard of cherry meringue and it was definitely different. you are mildly aware that the pastry looks vaguely morbid, meringue is dyed black and the cherries oozed off of it and you wonder if its meant to give that impression. You finish the pie and spiders take your plate away before your best friend comes through the door.

behind her is a larger pale guy. You lean away from your cup to see him clearly without steam fogging up your glasses. It was a skeleton monster; he was only a head taller than Emily but he was still large. His face was made up of deep eye sockets that you couldn’t see into and red eye lights. He was presenting a lazy grin full of thick sharp teeth, a gold tooth gleaming in the warm light. He wore jeans and a black dress shirt, which had been rolled up to his elbows and some immaculate converse. Where they new? He held an indifferent expression and nodded a hello to muffet as he walked in.
This must be the special guy she mentioned. So did Emily think he was special because he was a monster or special because he was supposed to be ‘the one’. you set your mug down on the table, keeping your hands on the warm drink. You smile at them both in greeting as they make their way to you at the other end of the bakery. You notice that his eye lights scan you as if he feels like he needs to be as wary of you as of him, but he doesn’t drop his smile. You stand when they get to you and shake his hand

“my name is may” you say to him.

“sans.” He shakes your hand once and lets go. You nod and make your way over to Emily excitedly and wrap her in a tight hug.

“ it feels like its been forever since ive last seen you in person!” you say squeezing her

“hey not so tight I can feel your boobs through your shirt!” she teases

you immediately let go of her your face red. You glare at her playfully. “you’re really going to say something like that in front of a guy”

“well yeah! He’s my guy! And I missed you too bitch, now let’s sit down and talk a little before we get some pastries!” she says excitedly pulling out a chair.

Her boyfriend raises a browbone at the word bitch and glances at me before moving to sit down too. When we’re all seated you don on your father-talking-to-his-daughter’s-boyfriend persona. you were in best friend mode rn.

“sooo.. how’d you meet?” you start off. Used to the horse and pony show. You watch sans reaction. It doesn’t change much.

“oh ya know I bumped into ‘er and had ‘er falling for me. Got myself a lucky catch.” He dead pans. He seemed somewhat proud of himself for such bad wordplay. You know that you said dad persona but damn those were some dusty dad jokes. Though you felt like you were missing out on the punchline. Emily just grumbles under her breath about him embarrassing her.

” What? she asked” sans blinks at her.

“I bumped into him on accident one day and almost busted my ass, but he caught me before I could hit the ground.” She explained leaning on her hand pouting at his antics so early in.

“yeah, It was too nice for me to let ya get a crack in it” he snickers, interlacing his hands behind his head and leaning back in his chair.
My best friend looked at him incredulously, and I had to hold back a laugh at that one. It was great to see her at the end of some teasing and not me for once.

You looked at her face and you couldn’t hold all of the laughter before one ultimately slipped out. Sans eye lights shifted from her to you and his grin grew with mirth. Your Emily caught wind of this and groaned.

“oh great you laughed at one. now he’s not gunna stop”

“what’s wrong with cracking a joke here and there?” he asks, I don’t think she caught that one but I did. And he confirmed it when he glanced at me to see my reaction before looking back at her.

“everything! Come on be serious!”

“I’m not serious, im sans.”

“okay now im mad, you know what I mean!”

“hi mad, im sans.”

Your Emily’s eyes widen before they glare at him. She stands up abruptly “ im getting a pastry!”

She practically stomps away as you both watch. You turn to him as he smiles smugly after her as he rests his elbows on the table.
“really with the dad jokes? Now you’ve made her get anger-pastries.” You breathe out a laugh.

“As sift she doesn’t love em.” He shrugs.

You huff a laugh through your nose. More out of surprise than it being funny. “okay so while she steams over those pastries lets get down to business.” He straightens at that and his grin falls, and he puts on a straight face.
“kay” he says.

“thank you,” you say noticing his change in demeanor “ so what do you feel for Emily? And what are your motives with her?”

He sits back contemplative, “well, she approached me. After the whole tripping thing I mean, so im still getting to know her. Not like I can tell you that I love her or anything yet and as for motives I guess companionship? Im the one that wanna know what her motives are with me and why she wants to move so damn fast.” He says looking you in the eyes. You nod at his answer, he doesn’t look like he’s lying and based off her history sounded like the truth. You break eye contact to drink a sip of your spider cider.

“now can I ask a question?” he asks.

You hum in thought as you breathe in the steam. “but you just did”

“I thought we were being serious” he says. Eye lights still on yours when you look up and you feel unsettled. Feeling the absence of something you couldn’t place but you do your best to focus hard on anything else but that feeling.

“uh sure shoot.” You say sipping more cider to settle you as you worry about what he wants to ask.

“are you the same girl from that party two nights ago?” he says bluntly.

You almost choke on your drink. You hadn’t expected that,your ghost almost joined all those spider’s you drank as you coughed and sputtered.

“did Emily tell you??” you swivel to turn to him red faced. He shook his head no. “oh great so you watched the videos.” You sunk down in your chair mortified.

“more like I was there, and saw it happen. Or more like saw you happen.” He raises his eyebrows before resuming his previous smile but it was pensive as he looks at you. Though, it starts to feel as if he was looking through you. You shift in your seat.

When he doesn’t ask another question you decide to break the silence. “hey.. by any chance did you see how I got home that night? I couldn’t remember anything the next morning.” You say not looking at him now, face burning. He probably didn’t know but there couldnt be more harm in asking.

“from what I know fuko made sure ya got home safe” he shrugs. You let out a sigh of relief. Okay so fuko brought you home, so nothing happened that night.

“don’t surprise me that ya cant remember anything though,” He says snapping you back into the conversation. “with the amount ya drank. Never woulda thought you could out drink undyne she’s like twice your size… ‘n a monster.”

“me too honestly, usually I’m a little above a light weight. it was weird that monster alcohol doesn’t taste strong at all. Its like juice.”

Sans looks baffled by that “uh..monster drinks are stronger than human stuff, none of it should taste like juice. Not out of the bottle anyway you have to mix it with ya know…..actual juice.”

“I mean I guess it doesn’t matter I didn’t even have a hangover the next day so.” You shrug.

He fixed you with a look that said you were an idiot “ yes it does, ya can still die from alcohol poisoning with monster liquor and undyne can drink twice your lethal amount since she’s a monster”
You startle at that. “oh.” You try to take another sip of your drink but its empty. You settle for a shakey exhale.

“I have another question” he says. He almost looks dire now. Weird to think he was casually cracking jokes a minute ago when right now he looks like he’s never heard a joke in his life. You have to really focus now on ignoring this feeling of absence you were getting. Was this coming from him? It felt almost oppressive now.

“so do I,” you say doing your best to just pay attention to the conversation. “let me ask you this last one and then you can ask the rest of your questions.” He nods and you continue.

“so this is a two part question but theyre related to each other. what do you do job wise because I could swear I know you from somewhere, unless you just seem familiar from the party..” the idea of having met more people and not remembering it was concerning.

Sans raises his browbones and looks off to where Emily is talking to Muffet. She stands there patiently and has this sugary smile of annoyance. Emily doesn’t seem to notice though and continues to talk her ear off.

”I take up any freelance jobs I can find until I find my niche. There are a lotta opportunities up here ya know? But im pretty sure you’ve seen me at your place o’ work. I shop that grocery store on occasion.”
“oh?” you think back on what you remember of the customers that pass through. You vaguely remember a skeleton monster and accidentally catching red eyelights. “ohhh! Yeah youre that monster that keeps scaring the crap out of me. I never hear you walk up to my counter.” Sans shrugs.

“speaking of whats with that? Did I scare you so much that you cant look me in the eyes or sumthin’? You never look me in the face when you rang me up.”

“not really, I’m just used to things being that way. I was taught that it was rude… to look people in the face.” The half lie came out stilted and you hope its believable. You look away slightly uncomfortable now that the ‘angry father’ façade was slipping.

“huh,” looks like he didn’t expect that answer, and looks at you skeptically. But he continues on with his questions. He glances over at Emily before leaning in toward the table. “alright, what’s up with your soul its been bugging me since I first saw it and I know its not my eyes playing tricks now.” His eye lights are out and its down right creepy. You felt the same vast emptiness as you had yesterday, and you struggle to catch your breath as you try not to panic leaning away from him in your chair. It finally clicked that he was causing this feeling, he was the one putting off this feeling of…nothing.

“uh what?” you say not able to get any further away without making things more awkward. “what about my soul?” You know what a soul is, when monsters came up everyone had to learn about the basics of monster and human ‘health and development ‘ in every education system.
But why was he talking about that here? Wasn’t that like monster sex or something?? Your eyes widen and look over at Emily who seems like she’s finally chosen something. Before turning back to sans.

“ I thought you were only supposed to talk about your soul with your mate or something” you whisper yell at him.

His face blooms a violent red and immediately straightens as if distance would rectify the situation. “wha- no! it aint like that! it’s-“ sans stops talking abruptly when he sees Emily heading back to them. Sans instantly changes back to the aloof demeanor he had earlier. Though the feeling that something was wrong and unnatural was still there.

Emily has pastries by the tray full. And three more cups of spider cider. She hands you one before getting settled again and you gratefully take it. Letting the calming effects settle into you.

“so what did I miss?” she beams.

The remaining time the three of you spent at the cafe was consumed by Emily gushing over how cool a boyfriend sans was. Sans looks uncomfortable and honestly, you were too for more reasons than one. He makes jokes to bother you both, but you don’t mind. Instead you’re more distracted by the lack of emotions you’re getting from him and pretending you don’t see the glares of distrust on his face.

Chapter Text

finishing the meet up I figured it would be nice to head to the park, I had nothing but time to kill and I needed to be surrounded by the soothing energy that only plants could provide. When I get there though I see a monster on its back, struggling to get up. On closer inspection they do not seem to have arms, at this realization I speed up to go help the monster back onto their feet.

Not really knowing where to put my hands in this sort of situation I picked them up by the waist and struggled to lean back to lift them. I fell square on my butt in the process, but they were now on their feet at least. Dusting yourself off you look the grumpy monster over, they seemed to be okay.

The monster huffed “I didn’t need no help from some dirty human but thanks or whatever” They said kicking the dirt with a huff.

Their standoffish attitude was completely buried under the spiraling embarrassment that you could feel from them.

“Yeah I know, I just figured I’d give you a hand,” you say smiling trying to placate some of their embarrassment, I doubt they would have been able to with the amount they had been struggling.

At that, they glare and you, sending warm waves of anger your way, and you blush in realization. “ Oh no! its an expression I didn’t mean it like that, uh I should probably just go.”

You just needed to be alone for a little while, you wanted to avoid feeling anything that wasn’t your own for a few hours, not even the plants could soothe your own embarrassment now. When you head out of the park you ended up walking in the same direction as the monster.

He glares at you “what’re you following me for?”

“I’m not,” I say confused if anything I was walking ahead of him. “I'm headed home.”

he looks at you confused. “the only houses in this area are ones for monsters.”
I hadn’t realized that before, yeah you knew about your neighborhood being made up of monsters but were all of the houses at the base of the mountain only monster communities?

“well, I live with lulu.”

He stops walking as realization hits. “ohhh you're that human I've heard about.” Now all smiles and trotting happily up to you.

You frown at that. What were people saying about you exactly? “all good things I hope?”

the monster laughs “I mean if everyone calling you weird is a good thing then I guess.”

“well if you want to put a name to whatever rumors you're hearing, my name is May. That way people don’t have to keep calling me weird human.”

“I could call ya short human instead,” they say laughing

“ may is just fine”

“your name’s may? Like the month?”

I couldn’t help but feel my face screw up at that, it wasn’t often for someone to make that connection but it still happened occasionally, and it wasn’t something that I felt like getting into today. Luckily you don’t have to.

“name’s Mac” he introduces himself as they sidestep a twig that was in their way as we crest the top of the hill.

No one said anything as we walked but not being able to handle the uncomfortable silence I blurt out the first thing I could think of.

“so anyway how come you were on your back when I found you?”

Even if I hadn’t been able to feel mac’s mood sour I would have been able to practically see it wilt.

“not like I wanted to be, some dumb humans pushed me over” Mac shot me a dirty look as if I was guilty by association for just being a human.

Even though I could feel my blood boiling at the thought of someone doing that to him I don’t ask anything else as we head back home. Mac makes a point of doubling his pace to get distance between us and it isn’t long before he’s out of sight; Though I’m not too far behind finally making it to the open gate. I vaguely took notice of the empty security booth and wondered where in this neighborhood they lived, though I had trouble remembering their name. You never had been good with names.

As I trudged my way home through the neighborhood, feeling weighed down by the day I noticed how nice the lawns were. They were practically immaculate. Evenly cut grass and well-tended flower beds some even sporting lawn ornaments. Of all the times you had walked through the neighborhood you had never noticed. When I arrive at my door a relieved sigh left me, knowing pajamas and refreshing isolation awaited me just beyond this door. I fished my keys out of my purse and unlocked my it, practically throwing myself into the house in the off chance I was going to embarrass myself some other way today.

I could feel a sense of ease rest over me as I hurry to my room with a one-track mind. Comfy clothes. I threw them off as if they burned and fished out a soft pajama set from my dresser. I smiled as the cool fabric hung loosely on my skin and ironically enough the sleepwear gave me a sense of renewed energy. What was it about wearing skirts that seemed to take it out of you? Maybe it was the subconscious worry about flashing people your underwear.

Now in a calm space, in comfy clothes and away from people; I don’t know what to do with the rest of my day. I plop down in my bed with my phone, browsing with no real idea in mind. So when an ad for a new game popped up for some dumb mobile shooter I’m reminded of all the games that I’ve abandoned in my goal of getting myself established in ebott.

Glancing around the room from my bed I try to remember where I put the old console, but my eyes settle on my sewing machine. Maybe the games could wait, I had all day and if you didn’t get some work done on your latest project then you may end up abandoning it. After lazily rolling out of bed I trudge over to the pink sewing machine, it was an old thing that could only do a small handful of stitching patterns. I couldn’t complain though, I had bought it with my own money years ago and it always got the job done.

A half-finished dress still set beneath the needle, the work desk overflowing with frills and lace. a faint feeling of longing pinged in my chest at the memory of how peaceful things were when you had started selling plushies in your hometown, but things were different now. I couldn’t return back to how things used to be all I could do was keep moving forward and be content that sewing still brought me peace despite everything that’s happened.

Setting up the sewing machine, I make sure to keep a healthy distance between my fingers and the needle just in case my foot brushed the peddle. The last thing I needed was to thread through my finger. I shivered. There had definitely been some close calls. After checking that the spool was full of thread and that everything else was ready it wasn’t long before I got into a healthy rhythm.

I've been working on this dress for a few months it was supposed to be a summer dress but it probably wouldn’t be ready until late fall. Which would have been a problem if you had planned to ever wear it, which luckily you don’t.

As I added more lace I could feel the pull of inspiration after seeing muffets dress. I wish I had that sort of self-confidence to wear something that pretty and not feel so embarrassed about it. Though no matter what I did to this dress I wouldn’t be able to achieve that silhouette of hers not even with a corset. I would have to remove half my set of ribs.Sighing I scooted back in my chair and grabbed my phone to check the time, It was only four pm. I sighed time was moving monumentally slow. Maybe it would be for the best to give this a break and enjoy yourself with some video games before your passion project started to feel like work.

Rummaging around my room I looked for the box with my console in it. My room wasn’t messy, in fact, I did my best to keep It organized. My hamper sat by the door, It was a pretty whicker one that looked more like a decorative basket. My sewing table doubled as an art desk next to the cabinet where I keep my art supplies. They both sat against the far wall across from my bed. A fluffy white rug sat on the bare solid oak floors that served almost as a path from my door to my walk-in closet which was accompanied by my dresser that sat outside of it.

That being said there wouldn’t be that many places I had to look, but I still can't remember where I put it for the life of me. I pulled down boxes from the top shelf of my walk-in closet not like I had to use a stepstool or anything with no such luck. I moved to check under the bed and could only find small containers the size of shoeboxes -oh so that’s where my old journal went- but it wasn’t under there either. Since you kept all of your belongings in your room this is the only place it would be.

So as a last-ditch effort I checked inside my art cabinet, and sure enough, the box sat on the bottom shelf marked ‘game stuff’. So much for being organized it took me forever to find this thing tearing up my room in the process. Why had I put the box in there anyway?

I carried the bulky thing out to the living room to hook it up and finally, I could play. The start screen coming to life on your trusty ps3. Though as I’m flipping through my games my phone lets off intermediate text tones. At this, you snatch your phone up to see who it is before your brain register’s that it isn’t the right notification sound for your boyfriend.

My home screen is filled with text notifications from Emily and someone named red? You open your phone to see that you’ve been added to a group chat where texts were being thrown back and forth. It looked like a pun war with Emily being an un-wanting participant. The only person you knew that told puns and hung out with Emily was sans, but you didn’t want to assume. Instead of puns, she was tossing back shit talk from what you can assume is about some sort of high score.

Oh-em-gily:
As if u could ever beat me at it
The way u play is weak sauce

Red:
Last I checked u were lost in da sauce
When I beat you the last three times

Oh-em-gily:
Whatever cheater lets play a different one

You:
Hey guys
Whats up

Red:
???
Who r u

He must not have known that you were added to the chat, I sighed. This isn’t the first time Emily’s done this but you’re in it now you guess.

Oh-em-gily:
Its may!
Good timing what are you up to I need you to come over and break this tie

Red:
It aint a tie if ur losing

Oh-em-gily:
Don’t listen to him you know how good
I am at smash bros

I know how good she is at smash bros and it isn’t any good. I’ve let her win so many times because she always gets depressed after not being able to win any matches. Also I wasn’t feeling like going out again after just getting cozy on the couch in my pajamas.

You:
I sorta wanna stay home
But maybe next time?

Red:
Ya maybe next time u can work up the skill to beat me Emily

Oh-em-gily:
okay cool!
We can just meet you at your place instead since you don’t have a switch!
See you in a bit!

The chat goes silent and you're just stuck there staring at your screen dumbfounded about what just happened. Wait they were both coming over? Emily had your address in case of emergencies, but she had never stopped by until now, and did she say we? Was she bringing her boyfriend?

I groaned and splayed out on the couch, the home screen of my PlayStation still playing it’s ambient music as it waited for me to choose a game. Which now probably wasn’t going to happen. Luckily the house was already clean, save for your bedroom. The plan was to just shut the door of it and worry about it another time.I looked down at my pajamas that were littered in little hearts and bubbly stars. Did I really want to change my outfit to keep up my image or keep my comfiness uninterrupted but lose whatever intimidation factor I had from this morning? I huffed, getting up. I'm in my own home and I've already got dressed up once. Maybe my complete indifference would inspire its own intimidation.

Though I knew it would be more likely that that wasn’t true. Well, even if these guests weren’t planned or invited I was taught to always be a good host. I gathered some snacks and drinks and set them out on the coffee table. Luckily since I ate more monster food than human food I could accommodate sans too. Once that was done I even began to shut down and unplug the console.I barely had time to finish up and close my bedroom door before I heard an excited knocking at the front one. I rushed over and paused with my hand on the doorknob.

“who is it” I called loudly, I knew it was Emily but it was a sort of habit I’ve always kept when I couldn’t check through a peephole.

“who else! Open up” You hear Emily's chipper voice come through the door and that was enough to get you to open it.

When I do, her nervous and excited energy almost felt like anxiety. Or maybe it was your own and you were projecting?

“Oh my god may did you know you and sans pretty much live next door?” Emily says bursting in leaving a very large and very uncomfortable sans standing in the doorway behind her.

You felt just as uncomfortable as he looked. Though I'm pretty sure for completely different reasons. We stood there staring at each other in uncomfortable silence as Emily continued to talk excitedly in the background but you couldn’t focus enough to hear her because what he was projecting was sucking every thought out of your head. Or more accurately the absence of feeling was, and it was leaving you feeling cold and empty.

“what are you doing just standing there come in already!” Emily says from behind you snapping you out of the mild trance you were in. You motion for him to come in stepping more to the side.

He does but he seems reluctant to. As he steps into your house it becomes very apparent that the dimensions were made with monsters like him in mind. I had always thought that the height of the ceilings was a luxury, but I could see now that a house like this must have been standard. You close the door and turn to them.

“go ahead and make yourselves comfortable,” I gestured awkwardly to the snacks. “I can set up the switch while you guys settle in.”

“nice! Snacks.” Emily plops down onto the couch with a small bounce and begins to browse her options.

Sans doesn’t say anything and follows suit, though not as enthusiastically. Collecting the switch off of the couch along with its docking station I went to go hook it up. It seemed simple enough, all there was an HDMI cable.

“oooh I'm so excited! You’ve never used one of these yet right? They're so fun and they have these cute little controllers and it doubles up as a portable screen-“

I only half-listened as I went through the setup, feeling more numb than I’m used to. Usually, I would have to focus on keeping her usual excitement from seeping into me but right now I felt almost calm. As if I were here in the living room alone and not with two other people. I glanced over my shoulder and could see that yes, Emily was excited. She was practically bouncing in her seat as she explained the pros of the tiny device. No, her excitement couldn’t have been put on. She was notorious for letting people know when she was unhappy about something. My eyes flicked over to sans who sat on the opposite end of the couch closest to me, and I caught him examining me too. He doesn’t look away though instead his smile quirks as if to say that he’s the one who caught me in the act. I finish up and slide the controllers from the side of the device.

These really were tiny. I hand one to Emily and she takes it grinning. “ohhh I cannot wait to wreck you in smash like I used to.”

“no smash today,” I deadpan. I wasn’t in any sort of mood to fake a loss convincingly or deal with the aftermath of accidentally beating her.

“aww but come on! We haven’t played in forever the last time we’ve had a match was when you lived with-“

“My house my rules,” I say before she could finish her sentence.

At this Emily just pouts. Thankfully she doesn’t try pushing the issue, so I go to hand sans the other controller. He just waves me off.

“don’t worry bout it got my own,” he lifts one up and shimmies it as he displays the normal-sized controller, which made sense since the joycons were tiny even for your hands so it would’ve been near impossible for him to use. But where did that controller come from? He had been empty-handed when he came in, and I don’t think his pockets were big enough for a controller without it sticking out.

You shrug and go to sit down next to Emily, squeezing between her and the armrest rather than taking the big empty spot next to sans. It was only then that you begin to feel Emily’s excitement again.

“Okay so if you don’t want to play smash what do you want to play.” She says more than asks.
Emily browses through the options and I see something that catches my eye.

“how about this one?” you say pointing to it. I recognized it from a game review about it being hilarious and anger inducing but it was a something you had to play as a team. Meaning there couldn’t be a singular winner in this game.

“ugh, why this one? It's so weird”

“tha’ hell is ‘human fall flat?’”

“it’s a multiplayer puzzle game but your character is purposely hard to control. It’s supposed to be challenging.”

“pft please, as if sum human game could be ‘challenging’ Ive done real puzzles with my arm actually tied behind my back. This looks like baby bones difficulty.”

“that’s a lot of talk, but I have yet to see you back it up.”

Emily instigates with a “ooooooo” as if I just dealt out a burn, leaning way over the couch to poke him in the side.

“So I guess were all in agreeance.”

The next few hours were spent trying to solve puzzles and picking each other up to throw them off the map. Only to fall from the sky back into the playable area with a splat. When we got to a puzzle that was too difficult to solve the round divulged into who could throw each other off the map the most times. So essentially Emily had found a way to play smash in a non-smash game. We went back to puzzle-solving once they got bored of trying to throw each other off. They laughed as they playfully told each other that they were ‘going to get it now’ and laughing when someone threw each other off. You were happy for Emily, it had been a while since you’ve seen her laugh like that but you couldn’t help the mild jealousy you felt as the laughter made you feel like a third wheel.

“hey guys, can you grab this catapult and move it over by the door I want to try something.” I asked but when I glance over at Emily she’s no longer sitting next to me and is instead sitting in sans’ lap. I quickly looked away slightly flustered.

It wasn’t like they were doing anything gross but I didn’t know how to handle public displays of affection. I didn’t care if people did stuff like that in public I just felt like I was a creep if I looked at them while they were.

“ya sure gimme a sec”

Sans’ derpy avatar bounced over to yours to help you pull the catapult into the right spot and you hopped into it. “okay pull the lever”

He snorts, “I thought we were supposed ta put the boulders in there”

“yeah but I want to see if there’s something I can do from behind the gate”

He doesn’t seem to need any further explanation than that and pulls the lever sending your character flying as it rag-dolled over the gate. When it smacks into the ground he laughs a small huff. Sure enough there was a contraption that I had to solve, I had to pull the boulders over to some pressure plates and the gate opened.

“nice, we're almost through, I think the goal should be the top of the hill.”

“actually, let's take a break here. You cool if I smoke?” he says hooking a thumb to the deck.

“feel free,” you say shrugging “just close the door when you do.“

He lifts Emily up and sits her back down on the couch, the weight shifting as he got up and left for the balcony. When he slides the door closed behind him Emily whips around to look at me. I could feel everything now, her nervousness her excitement, her worry.

“so.”

“so?”

“Did he pass?”

Oh so that’s what this was about, I guess I never did give her my ‘verdict’ but I didn’t even have enough to go on. It’s only been a day I knew close to nothing about this guy. All I know about him is that he likes to crack jokes and that I feel weird when I’m around him, he didn’t seem like a bad guy but I couldn’t tell if he was a good one either. Emily looked at you with wide eyes, and you could feel how hopeful she felt. I didn’t want to stomp on that feeling but I sure wasn’t going to lie to her.

“well, he didn’t not pass” I say screwing my face up.

“what you don’t like him? Is it because he’s a monster?”

I leaned away from her in shock and slapped her arm “don’t even joke like that! I'm not racist.”

“or are you worried about the whole bone thing? He tells me he has a dick”

I sputtered “the hell Emily! I DONT need or want to know that” I say covering my face.

“well, actually I don’t know for sure because I haven’t seen it and when I asked about it he just said ‘I have what every man should’ “ she tries to imitate his deep voice but on her it sounds mocking.

“ugh I cant stand you sometimes!” you say to her red faced. I glance over to see sans leaning on the railing on his phone talking to someone as he smokes. I couldn’t hear what he was saying but his body language looked like he was being lectured by a angry parent.

“well next time just try to take it slow with the guy, don’t get so attached so fast,”

“Hopefully there won't need to be a next time!”

I don’t say anything to that, instead grabbing the bag of chisps and eating a few. Sans returns to his spot and Emily practically scrambles over to cuddle him. She seems doubly affectionate now that I’ve given my ‘almost approval’ which only served to make me feel more like a third wheel. I really wish Scott was here, though he wouldn’t have enjoyed a game like this.

We finished a few more puzzles but it was starting to get late and I knew Emily had to work the next day.

“I don’t want to go but I need to get up early tomorrow, one of my coworkers is on vacation so that means I’m the one that has to take his shift.” She groans.

“you’ll get through it just think about the food you can buy with the money you get on Friday and it’ll all be worth it.” At that, I began to save the game and shut it down so I could give her back her switch.

“yeah if I had your figure that’d be a comfort, unlike me you never put on any weight” she pouts.

Sans stands but doesn’t say anything as he watches the both of us. I pretend I didn’t notice the pensive look he tried to hide. I handed Emily back her stuff and she unceremoniously shoved it into her tote bag, dropping in the two joy-cons as if they were keys and not something expensive and made her way to the door. Sans however didn’t move from his spot, but I could feel his heavy gaze on my back.

“well, I had fun! It was nice seeing your place, you need to come visit mine again when you get a chance I miss having you as a roommate.” She wraps me up in a tight hug and you squeeze back.

“me too,” you say back. Yes, you missed seeing her more often but that didn't mean it outweighed the awkwardness of hearing her ‘nightly activities’ with her boyfriends and then having to look her in the eye the next morning.

When Emily pulled away she leaned to the side to look at sans “you coming?” she asks. I turned to look at him too, though the pensive look was gone and was replaced with that easy-going smile from earlier today.

“ I am, I just wanted to have a word with may here first if that’s okay with you.”

Emily looked at him then at you and shrugs “I don’t see why not,”

I shuffled in place as Emily turned to leave, didn’t I get a say? I watched her get into her car, pulling out her phone as she waited. I huffed and closed the door.

I turned around to face him “okay so what do you-“ I let out a startled yelp. He had closed the distance without you hearing him come up behind you and now there was only an arm’s length of space between you.

***

“you never answered my question,” I spoke the words clearly and deliberately. Making sure she understood what I was asking her.

“You asked me something about my soul right? I don’t know what makes it weird for you. as far as I know, before the monster’s arrived on the surface I didn’t believe I even had one.”

I did passive checks as we talked and her HP was dropping as I stood next to her. I leaned in to get a better look and it stopped dropping when It got to two. That was weird, is she sick or something.

“Hey, uh can you give me some space you’re making me dizzy.” She blurted out. I stared a moment longer, unsatisfied about what I could find but eventually giving her more space. Her HP began to climb again. Interesting, was she hiding her stats then?

“you're the one who’s all weird. The feeling you're always putting off is wrong.”

At this, I straightened, was that supposed to be some kind of racist remark? The fuck is wrong about me. I breathed and tried to school my response, this human was still Emily's friend. I had promised myself that I would actually try in a real relationship and I didn’t need to complicate things by becoming enemies with her best friend.

“What’s that supposed to mean”

She meets your eye light and gives you a blank glassy-eyed stare that left shivers down my spine.

“you're empty.”

If I didn’t know better I would say she was doing a check on me herself but her eyes seemed to be focused on something far away as if I weren’t here at all. I performed a formal check on her, and it just gave you the unsettling message of: “she doesn’t want to know but she does”.

What did that even mean? He gave her some more space more for himself this time than her and the glassy look faded from her somewhat. Her stats were going back to normal too.

Seeming to come back to her normal self she sighed. “look I don’t know what your obsession is with this sex stuff or whatever all I care about is you not toying with Emily's emotions.”

I sputtered. “will ya STOP saying that! Souls don’t always gotta be a sex thing. What's with you humans and sex.”

“wait really I thought that’s how you guys..” she makes a weird wiggle hand motion as she frowns.

“the context matters! All you need ta know is that you humans fight us with em and I'm trying to figure out why yours is coming up weird.”

“it’s not like we have soul doctors or anything, I don’t even know what a normal one is supposed to look like, what's even so different about mine?”

“well for starters your HP keeps dropping and raising at random and your other two stats are blank.”

“uh..okay? is that dangerous or something? Should I be worried”

I just squint at her.

CHECK
MAY
She’s worried and confused but just wants to go to sleep.
HP 2/1 lv ??? exp???

I giver a once over in her ridiculous baggy pajamas with a cutesy print and her tiny stature. She hadn’t done anything outwardly suspicious. Even the kid had shown some sort of malice before they actually started hurting people, I didn’t even get a whiff of that from her. I leaned back on my heels and put my hands in my pockets. letting my smile fall back into my usual easy-going one.

“you know what never mind. Just don't do anything suspicious or make any moves to hurt my friends and I won't have to deal with you.” I doubt I would have to, she seemed like a non-threat but at least you gave her a warning anyway.

“Are you threatening me?? I should be saying that to you! Hurt Emily and I’ll kick your bony ass” She crosses her arms in a huff now flustered with irritation. Why had I been so worried, look at her she couldn’t hurt a fly even if she wanted to.

I move around her to leave, chuckling “yeah as if you could reach it, ankle biter.” I gave her head a pat on my way out and I could still hear her fuming as I made my way down the sidewalk.

Emily sat in her car and perked up when she saw me, rolling down her window. “good talk?” she asks looking around me to see may visibly fuming in the doorway of her house.

“yeah I made sure to keep it short”

Emily scoffed connecting the dots “oh is that why shes beat red, she hates that.”

“I haven’t noticed.” I say noting how red in the face May was.

“wanna hop in? I could drop you off”

“Nah it’s like two blocks from here. Drive safe though.” I leaned in to kiss her on the forehead.

Emily squeals, in excitement and my skull, rings from the proximity. I quickly straightened to get distance from the sound. Jeez, this girl had some lungs on her.

“text you later babe” she winks and drives off.

I could feel May’s eyes boring into the back of my skull so I turn and offer her a wink and a wave before setting off for my house where paps is ready to kill me for being late to dinner. again.

Chapter Text

I sat in my car finally getting it back from the shop . The sun beat down on me through the windshield and I tried to take solace from its glare by flapping open the mirror to use as a sun visor. Which only helped to the extent that I sit in exactly the right way for it to block the sun. Even though The heat was ridiculous I was excited to be driving again and with lulu indisposed, today would be as good as any to explore. From what I could understand from the note that she left Lulu’s sister was close to giving birth and she wants to be there to look after her. Even though her sister’s mate would undoubtedly be sticking to his pregnant wife like Velcro on fur, lulu had made it clear in her message that she would not miss the arrival of her niece or nephew.

So, not wanting to be left alone in the house I decided That I could test the car out and go for a drive. Now was a good time to check out the less common parts of town and by less common I mean areas that weren’t along my commute to work. Its been long overdue for me to go and see what the rest of town had to offer. So, I spend the next few hours just driving around aimlessly.

At first the endeavor was fruitless, finding a lot more residential areas than anything else and after half hour of listening to music and getting lost in neighborhoods I finally pull up a GPS of hot spots for Ebott. I see that there are other parks, food places and areas to shop. My thumb freezes over a picture of one location in particular. Finally finding something that sparks my interest I decide to make a day trip. It was a good hour or two away since I would need to navigate out of where ever it was that I am. Luckily the place doesn’t say you need to make a appointment to show up, and that they did showings every other hour.

I couldn’t withhold my excitement as I backtracked to get back to familiar areas. I’ve never been to one of these. My small town that I grew up in didn’t have anything of real notice and I’ve never seen something like this before and I couldn’t help but wonder if it would look realistic. As I drove I realized how big ebott really was, Now that I thought about it was ebott even considered a town or was it a city? Monsters have developed the area and it has grown drastically in the time that they’ve been here. So maybe it’s only a town in name and they haven’t gotten around to changing the ordinance to a city since the population change was so spontaneous.

Finally in familiar waters, I spot the corner store where I got the nice creams once before. No harm in grabbing a snack before I went on with the rest of my day. I deserved a treat for getting my car fixed, I nodded almost as if in agreeance with myself. This was a monumental occasion after all. When I walk in the froggit is in its usual spot. The AC is still blasting but this time its definitely warranted, though I wondered if The froggit just preferred cooler air.

I waved at the froggit and I could feel its mild sprinkling surprise as it ribbited a quiet response. I wasted no time heading to the back of the store to where I knew those nicecreams were waiting for me. I looked over the case briefly to see that there were other kinds of monster branded ice cream sharing some of the space with your now favorite brand. It was labeled as bicycles and was supposed to be blue raspberry flavored. Was it supposed to be bicycle shaped? Vague memories of ice cream pops that were supposed to look like your favorite cartoon characters floated to the forefront of my mind but from what I could remembered they were horribly misshapen. Somehow, I doubt that anything shaped like a bicycle could fit into such a narrow packaging. Or at least it wouldn’t while still looking decent.

Disregarding the other choice I still go for the nice creams grabbing two this time. my mouth watered at the idea that I was going to get a dessert that I didn’t even know I wanted yet. Would it be cheesecake? Pie? Brownie bits? My sweet tooth was all over the place, so if the nice cream bar could decide for me that would be great.

I practically skipped over to the register. “you were right these were so good”

the froggit seemed to sway happily. ‘glad’

you nod smiling “well im glad I tried them.”

The froggit stopps swaying and stares. Cocking his head slightly. ‘nice?’

you were confused about what that meant. Did they mean that the ice cream was nice? “what is?”

‘you/why’

were they asking why you were nice? “why wouldn’t I be?”

The froggit doesn’t send you anything. now still, they just watch me as you go to get my card. I’m startled as the froggit croaks loudly when I move to swipe it. You yelp and drop the card.

“sorry about that,” I say as I give them an apologetic smile. “ loud sounds always get me.”

The froggit is looking at me and I feel the very blunt message of ‘take’ sent my way.
I froze at that “oh no I’m not stealing I’m trying to pay” I explain frantically. When I go to pick up My card to try and swipe again the froggit croaks loudly

‘no’

you look at the card and then at the froggit who is gently bouncing in its spot looking like they were holding back from hopping again. ‘have’

confused you point to the nice cream” just to be sure, you’re saying…you don’t want me to pay” I say slowly.

The froggit nods. ‘nice’

I feel conflicted as I look at the nicecream bars, I would feel better if I could pay but I also didn’t want to be rude. Just how disrespectful did humans get with froggits that treating them like I’d treat anyone was considered nice? I nod and pick the nice creams back up.

“thank you, but you have to let me pay for them next time.” The froggit seems happy and ribbits. I gave them a warm smile and wave heading for the door. “have a good day!” I call back behind me as I walk out.

The stark temperature change made it feel so much hotter out than it was. I could feel the uncomfortable itchy prickliness that came with my skin warming up too fast but at the same time the sun felt welcome after being blasted by the AC. Though the relief was brief before I felt like a hot sticky mess. Trying to escape the humidity I tore open one of the nice creams and popped it into my mouth to free a hand to open the door.

Unexpectantly I tasted the rich bittersweet flavor of tiramisu. Huh I hadn’t even had tiramisu in years, I didn’t have this in mind at all but it was really good. Now in my car I turn the fan on but keep the AC off settling instead for the breeze that I got from my open window. I followed my GPS, taking quick glances around me as I went. I caught a glimpse of a farmers market that I passed. It must be that time of year when they sold off crops. I hadn’t seen farmland around this area but I assumed there must be since their signs boasted about being local grown. Not much longer I pass by a library when I get close to my destination. When was the last time I read an actual book? Yes, I read them electronically but I would be lying if I didn’t miss the smell of an old novel.

When I arrive I pull up into a parking space. The parking lot is nearly empty with the exception of about four other cars and my own. I got out of the car and looked up to see that the planetarium loomed above me as I approached, the dome casting a cooling shadow that shielded me from the oppressive sun. As I got closer I could see that there were almost grandiose ivory carvings on the outside, but its impressiveness was dulled by its commonality. The same way how one person may see a congress building with the same carvings and see it as mundane. But I could appreciate that someone had to put the time into making it. When I stepped inside, I couldn’t say that anything, in particular, was jaw-dropping. The carpet and walls were black. With most walls being barren except for a few bulletins with pinned flyers and notices for different things. the main corridor made up a stubby hallway that had two bathrooms and a booth at the far end. Inside sat a tired teen who waited on his phone. Overall I felt pretty disappointed about my first visit at a planetarium.

Well, I was here now though so I might as well see it through before I make my judgments about the place. I made my way over to the booth, and the teenager glances up at me before rolling his eyes and immediately going back to whatever he’s doing on his phone.

“five dollars for adults, two for kids to get in. we only take cash” they say with a practiced drone. The teenager wore a lopsided name tag that told you he went by Kevin. I wouldn’t lie and say that I wasn’t put off by the customer service but I fished out the five dollars regardless and slid the bill through the gap of his booth window. He eyed it and then me without moving to put his phone away. He just reaches for a roll of tickets and tears one off before shoving it back towards me.

I took it feeling like I wanted to commit a felony. I glared at him, but it wasn’t like he could see it since he was back to what you could now see was playing some stupid mobile game. “go through the door or whatever” he waves me off with a bothered sigh.

I glare daggers at him the whole way but I follow the instructions hoping that my entire experience wasn’t like this. I’m pleasantly surprised when I step into the next room. Where the last room was devoid of life and dull this room was bursting with character and demanded attention. The inside of the planetarium was painted with intricate depictions of galaxies and stars. I could tell the paint was relatively new because in comparison everything else was aged and worn. Someone had spent a lot of time into the tiny details and you wonder who the artist was.

This area seemed more like a hub for where to go, it looked like they had set up other rooms besides the main viewing. The lighting here reminded me of an old fashioned arcade, with the light soft and tinting the room in a bluish light. The paneled ceiling was black but sported tiny pinholes that black light shown through that I'm sure we're meant to look like stars. Other rooms were marked as exhibits, and since it didn’t look like the showing was ready just yet there shouldn’t be any harm in checking them out.

The exhibits were cheesy but there was an earnest quality to them. As if to say that they were put there to show that while it may not be the best it’ll try its hardest to be. I felt like a child again, looking through the exhibits about the moon landing and meteors. Luckily no one was around to see me unabashedly enjoy the paper-Mache rocks and obviously fake ufo trinkets. I remember being little and believing in aliens, and wanting to be whisked away to some crazy planet where I would meet some alien royalty and find adventures. But I got older and the idea died with it, though with the emergence of monsters maybe the thought that aliens existed wasn’t so outlandish.

There was the quiet chiming coming from the speakers overhead. “a viewing will begin shortly, please take your seats” the announcement sounded automated but the voice was calming. The lights dimmed and brightened reminding me of how a theater would for the end of intermission. I took this as my cue to stop reading the plaque that was describing some event where aliens were sighted and where people went missing.

Making my way into the showing room I marveled at how the ceiling had to be at least thirty foot high, this must of been the dome that I had seen from outside. Currently the dome was lit with a led display that looked just like the sky. It was pretty convincing too, If I hadn’t been expecting it I would have thought that there wasn’t a roof at all. I made may way down the empty rows. There aren’t that many of them but they're awkward to maneuver around because of the way they were set up. I take a seat somewhere near the middle, doing my best to center myself with the middle of the room so I could get the best view. The room was still empty as I waited, and I hadn’t seen anyone else when I went through the exhibits. Maybe those cars I saw were just staff then. I scowled when I remembered my interaction with Kevin.

“Final call, the show is about to begin.” The announcement was punctuated by the hiss of automatic doors closing, and the screen above darkening. The room is pitch black now leaving me alone in a room full of stars. I watched for a moment dazzled by the constellations that twinkled subtly, and I was brought back to when dad sat with me under the stars to talk and how on one night everything changed. I missed him, but I didn’t want to think about that right now. I focused instead on how many constellations I could find and realized that the display that they had put up was pretty accurate.

Even going as far to show constellations that someone would see in this area around this time of year.

“welcome, for this showing we will be telling a story about the sun and the moon. A fable of their beginning. Enjoy”

The screen was pitch black now and devoid of anything, leaving me feeling unsettled until the screen gradually brightened from one side changing from black to royal blue, until a hazy indigo took over.

once during a time when the earth was simple, the Sun shone brighter than anything. The people were grateful and rejoiced every time the Sun shone. He brought them joy and warmth, he was even the source of their livelihood.

The sun made its way to the center of the display right over me , the entire sky was now lit back up bright and clear.

But he was lonely, all by himself in the vast skies. He would look down at the people dancing in his radiance and wonder if he was simply destined to a life of solitarily. That was the price he paid for being the brightest, he reasoned.
Then there was the Moon.

The sun made its way over to the other side of the sky, and the sky dimmed with it as night began to creep back into its bright color.

As the Sun grew weary and began to disappear, she would rise into the sky, flanked by millions of stars. Her radiance was a sad kind of beauty, one that went unnoticed as the people slept.

The sun seemed to slow its earlier consistent march as it approaches the horizon as if to try it’s hardest to get a better look. the night continued to march on and the moon continued to rise, trailed by glittery stars that looked like tears turned into diamonds suspended in space. None of them seemed to form any constellations and instead seemed to float freely.

The Stars watched her with woefulness, hoping that one day they could get close enough so she wouldn’t feel so empty. But they couldn’t. The Moon was untouchable, surrounding herself with a blanket of darkness through the cold nights.

The progression of the screen going dark and then lightening repeated, however the sun seemed to rise much less sluggishly now bringing about the day abruptly.

Until one day when the Sun was sliding out of the heavens, he caught a glimpse of her. She was peeking up, a rare side of her being exposed to the light. And while the Sun could shine, he knew the Moon could glow, and a faithful whisper trumped an arrogant shout any day.
So just as the Stars were wandering into the night, the Sun fell in love like a snowball hurdling down a mountain. How he wished to see her more than the fleeting moments he shared with her at both dawn and dusk.
But the Moon was untouchable.
Uncurable.
Unfreeable.
“Go,” she whispered to him one of those nights, her voice as sweet and sorrowful as the last light of morning, “Go and let me breathe, for you and I have decided fates. You illuminate the day, and I cast a glow on the night. We will never be. Our connection would go against what all people believe, all they know.” During the summer he would stay a little longer just in case she would change her mind. It was no use.
“Don’t you dare abandon your blessing of light for my darkness.”
Those were the last words the Moon was strong enough to speak to the Sun, The Sun could feel her peaceful soul and it soon became clear. He would extinguish himself each and every night to let his true love breathe, for it would put an end to all her misery.

The screen above faded back to black as the sun exited the sky and the moon made it’s way back into view only to position itself in the center of the sky flanked by sorrowful stars.

“that is the conclusion of the show, please join us again in a hour to enjoy the fable of Orion’s belt.”

I sat there blankly wondering what the hell I just watched. While yes I found myself enjoying more tragic romance novels than not I definitely wasn’t expecting some macab story about literal star crossed lovers. Wasn’t this showing supposed to be for kids?

I collect my things and stand to leave winding around the seats to get back out. I leave feeling more downbeat than I should be on a day like this. Once I leave the building Im hit with very disorienting sunlight. After being in a dark building for so long and not seeing any evidence of the time of day from indoors or available windows I had forgotten that it wasn’t even the evening yet.

It was the feeling that I sometimes got when I go for a midday showing at the movie theater. climbing into my sweltering car I hurry to turn on my AC, to my dismay I see that I had left the other nice cream in the car.

“ugh, great now its going to be a mess-“ I go to pick it up, expecting it to feel like a ziplock baggie full of juice but to my surprise not only is it still solid but its feels just as cold as when I had taken it out of the freezer.

“huh” I opened it, thinking that it was too good to be true. No way it was possible I had been gone for nearly an hour and my car had felt hotter than satan’s fart. sure enough when I open the wrapper the treat is still ice cold and fully solid. I took an experimental lick as I went to buckle myself in, hm pinacolada. Making the mistake of grabbing the buckle without paying attention I ended up playing hot potato with the hot metal as it scorched my skin. I quickly fumbled to lock it in, doing my best to use the least amount of contact possible.

I sat there eating my treat looking up other hotspots to visit, but as I looked through my phone I veto them because the drive was too far for me to consider right now. But I notice something that was indoors, nearby and could kill plenty of time. It checked all the boxes. I set off in the direction of the mall, it was only a few minutes away according to my gps, when I arrive though I see that it was a decent size and would hopefully have a good food court.

I didn’t have any other plans but to window shop, but even so I made sure to take my purse with me. maybe I could treat myself to a outfit or two. Even though I was more likely to buy food than clothes for myself. I glanced down at my outfit as I walked across the pavement wondering if I even needed the clothes anyway I couldn’t look that bad. I wore white converse and cuffed jeans that had my t-shirt tucked into it. I looked…comfy.

I entered the mall now with the determination to step out of my comfort zone to be cute. If I was going to visit scott I should make the effort to look nice when I do. That started with clothes. No more comfy stuff. Cute stuff. Cute stuff. Cute st-

Oh god it was nice and cool. The air conditioning was a godsend. Ironically melting me in bliss as it blew the heat that radiated off me into oblivion. I came in the rest of the way and began to browse the stores. Everything seemed pretty standard, Luxury stores that I couldn’t afford, and jewlery stores selling charms for bracelets that were sprinkled with diamonds and coated in gold.

I never understood why people wanted to buy things like that, not that I judged but I hated the idea of owning something so expensive only to feel like I had to worry about damaging it. I preferred things I could enjoy without the added anxiety.

I'm taken out of my thoughts by the sweet sweet smell of Cinnabon, and I didn’t hesitate to head over and get in line. I hadn’t planned on getting this before I had a real meal but I remember reading somewhere that planning was a fool's errand. Who said I had to eat a real meal before dessert. What difference does It make so long as it happens at some point.

“Welcome to Cinnabon can I take your order?” I could feel the indifference from them which thankfully felt neutral, like being in a tepid room. Though it was great for me, I felt bad that some retail jobs made people so dead inside.

“a classic please and a bottle of water.”

“that’ll be fifteen-twenty”

I fished it out internally frowning, as I looked at the price but still paid. Monster food prices have spoiled me, now normal prices make me want to cry. Though the feeling doesn’t last because I’m handed a sweet gooey mess that is the blessed Cinnabon classic, followed shortly by a water. when they ask if I want a receipt I wave it off and wish them a nice day. Snatching up the treat and drink like a gremlin and wish them a good day over my shoulder as I looked for a sitting area. Luckily it didn’t take long to spot one.

I sat and ate the sinfully sweet thing. I caught a glance of another person who seemed to have the same idea and took a seat opposite of me. He tore apart his own cinnamon roll with a fork and knife and I stole glances at the odd behavior and my curiosity quickly turned into disgust as I watched him eat the outsides and then throw away the middle. They didn’t see me stare unabashedly as the got up and walk away. I finish my own and chug the water in irritation. ‘

Who does that? Who just throws away the middles that’s illegal. Ugh. I heard rhythmic thumping and it was getting louder. Was I that angry that I could hear my heart in my ears? No it wasn’t my heart but whatever it was it was getting louder and I could feel the ground vibrating under me.

I looked around to spot where it was coming from and I almost immediately spotted undyne making a mad dash towards me. I flinched and stood. Her face was pulled into something akin to a snarl and I felt my fight or flight instincts kick in. Okay now the thumping I heard was definitely my heart. I couldn’t feel if she had the intention to hurt me or not and I decided I didn’t want to find out. I bolted in the opposite direction, confused and terrified.

“NERD!”

I was running full force but glance behind me to see if she was still chasing me. only to see that not only was she still in hot pursuit but she was only a breath away “AHH!”

Undyne scooped me up into a bone-crushing hug, which was uncomfortable, to say the least. She caught me mid-stride so one arm was pinned to my side and the other was stuck up in the air as she hugged high on my torso and lifted me off my feet, leaving me dangling and struggling to breathe. Both from the exertion and because her hold was restricting the amount of air I could actually suck in.

“I thought that was you! Why’d you run!” she swang me from side to side and squeezed tighter even though I didn’t think it was possible. I was starting to see stars.

“u-undyne,” I gasped out pathetically tapping her torso with my pinned arm in a unspoken ‘uncle’

She releases her hold on me all at once, dropping me like a cat as if id land on my feet. Let me tell you, I did not.

“oops”

Groaning I uncrumple myself and get up taking in a sore breath. “why were you chasing me like that?” I wheeze.

“like what?” she looks down at me with her eye in confusion, but her grin stayed displaying her large dagger-like teeth.

“oh, don’t worry about it,”

“anyway! I told you we were going to be seeing each other and look here you are! Wanna join me and alphy’s girl’s day?” she looks to the side of her and you could feel shock from her and then worry “alphy’s where’d you go?” she looks around and I could hear labored breathing and wheezing from behind her.

I couldn’t get a good view with undyne blocking the way but she seemed ecstatic and bent down to scoop someone else up. “Oh there you are alphy!” She tucks whoever she’s talking to under her arm and youre met with a jeaned butt and a thick spikey tail.

I took a step back in time to miss by getting hit by said tail as undyne swiveled around to face me again. The monster currently under her arm was still trying to catch her breath and Im lost for words at the sequence of events that just happened.

All I could manage was a lame “hi”

Undyne adjusted the monster she had trapped under her arm seeming to jostle them with excitement more than try to get them into a better position. “honey! This is the human I partied with! The one that outdrank me!”

“g-ground please,” the monster wheezes.

I got a better look at the monster, who shared a lot of features with a lizard, or maybe a Komodo dragon. Her head was adorned with a crown of spikes and she had teeth that may have been sharp once but were blunted at the ends.

Undyne emits an aura of nervousness and you could feel her inwards spiraling embarrassment as she gently sets her down on her feet. “Hello nice to meet you, undyne has talked non-stop about that party to anyone who’ll listen.”

Oh, that explained why so many monster’s knew about it, I had just thought that it had all been contributed from the videos posted online but now im thinking that the sudden publicity was equal parts that and word of mouth. I rubbed the back of my neck and looked away “oh uh, thanks. My name is may” I say putting my hand out to shake.

“A-alphys” they say as they shake my hand. I got the subtle hints of itchy curiosity intermingling with calm lapping water of a beach.

I felt she was a kindred soul, a quiet individual that liked to keep to themselves and I could relate to that and take comfort in it.

“and you’ve already met my mate” alphys tail swished behind her as she gestured to undyne both proud and embarrassed.

Alphy’s looked up at undyne and gave a encouraging nod, undyne seemed to take this as permission to continue on. Which seemed like good timing because it looked like she was about to explode with the sheer amount of unspoken words. Filling me with a zippy electric excitement.

“so alphys I was just telling her how she should join us for our girls day out.”

Undyne bounces in place getting restless, she looks rearing to go to let off her seemingly endless amounts of energy. Alphys glances at me and I felt the vague prickly suspicion before it ultimately melted away into indifference.

“That might be fun, s-sure why not” She smiles at me and I return it.

I felt a lot more comfortable around undyne with alphy’s here, she seemed so much more tame around her. Though that wasn’t saying much since she still looked rareing to go. We began walking in a group back the direction that they came from.

“were you the girlfriend that undyne mentioned?” I asked, I figured it was a safe assumption with how they were standing next to each other and the general vibes of syrupy happiness that they got both putting off at their proximity.” Thank you for having her check up on me after the party,”

Alphy’s nods “actually we’re bonded,” She says. Oh right she did say mate but I thought that was more a term for a friend than anything else, maybe it was a term monsters used.

“but it’s no problem, if I had known you were that inebriated I would’ve taken you home too,” She shoots a half hearted glare at undyne

“I don’t know why she thought it was a good Idea to challenge a human to a drinking contest, I didn’t know it was a human that had beat her till after” As she says this her glare loses its heat as she seems to be lost in thought.

More itchy curiosity and barbed vines rack up and down my skin, leaving me trying not to squirm as we walked. That was the third time someone had mentioned me out drinking undyne in a negative way. Was it really that bad or was it just because I was a human? I open my mouth to ask but before I could undyne lets out an odd sound. We both look over at her in confusion. I could feel the crumbling uncertainty and nervousness pour from her.

She seemed just as outwardly nervous as she pointed out a dress in a display. “hey HEY uh alphy what do you think of that dress?”

The dress in question was odd to say the least, and was made up primarily of straps on the upper bodice the entirety of it was black, and sheer. Honestly I couldn’t figure out where someone could wear that in the first place. Definitely not a dinner, maybe a club? A upscale funeral? A sex dungeon?

“uh…it’s strange?” she says looking at her and the dress oddly.

“Yeah, it's weird! Let's go see what other weird stuff they got!” she says dragging alphy’s into the store. Undyne’s worry died off and was replaced with breezy relief and excitement. I looked after her strangely and followed suit ignoring her odd mix of emotions.

Undyne and alphy’s stood in the middle of the boutique and were meandering through the displays of odd suits and dresses. They all resembled abstract art more than wearable clothes, much to undynes delight.

“may, you humans actually wear this stuff?” she asks, eye wide as she shimmys a dress she’s pulled from a rack. It’s very conservative or it would have been if there weren’t two large windows in it for where someone's nipples would be. Seriously what is this store?

My face lit up red, “not all of us, I sure wouldn’t” I went to go see if I could find something normal and but really I was trying to get some distance between me and the dress she was holding up.

“ohhh theres my drinking buddy! You look just as red as that night!”

I ducked behind a clothing rack to get out of her view, not that it helped because she was tall enough to just lean over it and still see me fine. Alphy’s snickered from somewhere beside undyne that I couldn’t see. I just grumble while I try and fail at hiding my embarrassment.

I wonder off and see something pretty decent, a pretty periwinkle colored summer dress that had a paperbag waist and flowy sleeves. I went to go look at the price tag upon seeing how many zeros that were tagged on it I dropped it like it would bite me. That’s more money than I made in three months. Sobered by sticker shock I make my way back over to them. Alphy’s anxiety mirrored my own as undyne handled another absurd pair roughly.

“u-uh undyne aren’t you hungry? Let's go find the foodcourt.” She says easily pulling her away undyne who’s double her height.

It seems like alphy’s took notice of the price tags too. At this undyne simply throws the dress over the rack and grins. “I thought you’d never ask I’m STARVING” she grins, presenting all of her teeth as her lips pull back over them. She misses the dismayed look the store clerk was giving her at the mess she made.

We hurry out of the store after undyne which I’m grateful for because I wanted to get away from the looks I was getting. We followed after undyne and I could see her pause here and there gills flaring. She seemed to know exactly where she wanted to go, not faltering after breathing in hard through her gills. Watching her do it again I realized that she was smelling the air.

Now that I thought about it she didn’t have a nose, not even slits for them so this was only natural. we followed her for a bit longer and I followed close behind admiring how pretty of a hair color she had, which most humans would kill for. Her hair was pulled into a fiery ponytail that swished from side to side.

When we get there me and alphy’s were mildly out of breath having kept up with undyne’s long strides. She seemed oblivious to it though as she got excited over the food options.

“nice they got everything I want here!” she hurries off to a pizza place without another word.

Leaving me and alphy’s standing there in awkward silence. I notice that people sitting or standing in line are openly gawking or glaring at the two and I feel the mixed emotions of the people nearby and take a steadying breath.

“doesn’t that bother you?” I ask shooting people back glares and getting only a handful of people to have the decency to at least try and hide their gawking.

Alphys looks at me shocked. “you don’t know?”

I looked down at her “know what?”

She stared at me searching for something in my face. More twisting vines, winding tighter than before but they release abruptly when she doesn’t find whatever it is she’s looking for. her mouth opens and closes as she tries to figure out what to say. “don’t you watch the news?”

I frowned, I probably should be up to date but I haven’t been focused on what’s been going on in the world for a while now, I never have made it a habit. I scratched the back of my head. “I’m not great at keeping up with that sort of stuff, I just take my days as they come..” I look away browsing my food options as an excuse to not have to look her in the face.

“h-how about we get something to eat?” I look back over to see undyne setting down her food only to leave it at the table to get back into another line. I guess when she said that when the food court had everything she wanted, she had meant EVERYTHING.

”looks like undyne found us a table.” I tried to contain my frown at it being dead center of the dining area, meaning more people would be sitting next to our table. I would have to focus to not embarrass myself more and keep myself closed off.

I can feel alphy’s gaze on me but I ignored it, shooting more glares to rude people that were giving her odd looks as I begin walking towards a possible option with her in tow.

“I’m used to it you know. The staring I mean, it won't always be this way but I can put up with it until things change.” I gave her a side glance and she was looking over to where undyne was standing in yet another line and I could feel the conviction in her.

“I didn’t know this was a problem, things had seemed normal.” I say quietly more to myself than outloud.

She doesn’t say anything at that but I could feel the sway of her emotions like a pendulum going from distrust to worry and back again. We stand at the booth for panera and the line is surprisingly short. I already know what I want, this mall didn’t have monster food of any kind so that meant my only choices were vegetarian ones so the pickings were slim. I ordered a summer salad heavy on the fixings and sauce and another bottled water. Alphy’s didn’t order anything and instead waited with me for my food to come out.

“diet?” she asks breaking the silence.

What? Oh the salad and water combo. “oh, uh meat doesn’t agree with me” I say nervously. It was a excuse I hadn’t needed to use since I had first started working at the nursery but that felt like so long ago.

She hummed at that but didn’t say anything else. There was a long awkward silence, but rather than put my foot in my mouth I opt to just taking my food and calmly made my way over to the table, though I could see from here the sheer mound of food undyne had ordered. She was already seated and digging in. Alphy’s sits and looks over the food and goes for a half of a sub. It made sense why she hadn’t ordered anything, there wouldn’t have been a point when undyne eats more than forty men.

I sit down looking for a spot to sit down my salad, luckily undyne decides to eat the pasta bowl that had been sitting in front of me effectively clearing off a spot. I start on my salad and realize that undyne’s pace was ridiculous how could she eat so much so fast. She was staring at me expectantly as I took my time on the salad. She actually finished all of her food before I finish the bowl. She seems both triumphant and disappointed all at once. I blink at her trying to figure out why. I glance down at the food and it dawns on me that maybe she saw this as a contest. I polish off the bowl just as alphys is working to help undyne clean up the mess.

I help speed up the process by grabbing a few to go boxes and bags to toss out. All in all we probably left the table cleaner than we found it. “ so where to next” I ask wanting to get some distance between me and the on lookers. We begin our way out of the food court with no real purpose.

“were just wandering around, you got anything you wanna do?”

“oh uh, I had wanted to pick up a dress.” I look away and the sentence trails off as my cheeks get hot.

I don’t miss the look they give each other that reeked of ticklish mischief it felt like someone just dumped a pile of goose feathers on me.. “oooooh whos the lucky dame or fellow?”

“maybe I just want this dress for me,” I say blushing and crossing my arms.

“Please, I can spot someone who’s caught up in their feelings from a mile away” at this alphy’s seemed to be in higher spirits suspicion gone in lieu of unbridled enthusiasm. I didn’t want to talk too much about my personal life worried that Id bore them bland information.

“I wanted to go visit my boyfriend and look cute,” I say fiddling with the hem line of my clothes.

Undyne roughly hooks a arm around my neck and leans on me. Dammit shes heavy “Well why didn’t you say so! We can help make sure whatever you pick out isn’t lame!”

“where is this boyfriend of yours anyway! I didn’t catch him at the party”

“oh we..were long distance” I felt more and more self conscious everytime I had to clarify that to a monster ever since that talk with lulu. Sure enough undyne and alphy’s share a look and I shrunk in on myself. Was it really that weird for monsters? People did long distance relationships all the time.

The broke away from the silent conversation they were having and undyne leaned further on me ruffling up my hair with her other hand. “Then I guess we just gotta find you a dress that’ll make him never wanna leave”

I blushed at that and nodded. I caught the sly smile from alphy’s even if she didn’t know it and I had an inkling of worry, but it was my own. My thoughts pulled me back to the dress with the exposed nipple windows and I tried to keep a brave face. Surely they wouldnt try to get me to wear something outrageous.

Undyne never unhooked herself from me and dragged me into the nearest clothing store. Luckily this one seemed normal and within my price range. She finally released me to begin eyeing me and then tearing items off the racks. Alphys begins searching too, though a lot less aggressively.

“youre looking for a dress right? Not an outfit?” undyne looked at me, all playfulness gone as she focused.

I was unnerved by the sudden change in demeanor, but I nod. She goes back to grabbing things off the rack and I go to look for things myself. They didn’t have to shop FOR me, I could do that on my own but it’s not like I would stop them from trying to help so instead I try to pick a few items for them to try on just for fun. I had a decent amount of things that would look nice on them. Though I couldn’t tell what their usual styles were based on what they were wearing.

Alphy’s was just wearing shorts an off the shoulder T and sandals, pretty neutral and casual. Where undyne wore leggings and a crop top, showing off her abs and glittery teal scales. So I picked a casual option and a more feminine option finding this cute sundress that looked like it would fit alphys.

I was about to pull another off the rack when Undyne takes me by the shoulders and steers me to the dressing room. I stumbled and worked to balance the pile from falling out of my hands. We blow right past the store clerk that was supposed to count how many items we were going to try on, though there was probably no door hanger they could give me for how many items I had. Im scooted into the open stall and she throws her choices at me, most draping over my head or falling into my own pile before falling to the floor.

“what are you waiting for go try them on!”

I’m shoved further into the dressing room and she yanks the curtain closed behind me. I look at myself in the mirror half buried under the avalanche of clothes. I felt bad for whoever had to put this back.

“and you better come out and show us how each one looks!” she calls from the other side of the curtain.

I fish out an item and I immediately scowl. I had wanted something cute but I don’t think I could wear something this frilly without dying of embarrassment.

“I have to for EACH one?”

“uh duh, that’s what I just said”

I frown settling to put that one on last, throwing the pale yellow frilly sundress over one of the hooks mounted on the wall effectively putting it out of sight and out of mind. I had to admit it was pretty but I don’t think I had it in me to bring up those sort of memories. Instead of spending too much energy on remembering unhappy thoughts, I focus on sorting the clothes that she gave me from the ones I chose for them.

“Fine, but you guys have to do the same.” I say gathering up my choices and bundling them under my arm before pulling back the curtain and handing them to a surprised undyne.

Her surprise doesn’t last long before a smug grin slides over her face. She takes the clothes from me and I see a glint of something almost sinister spreads over her features. “remember I said ALL of them.” She says and goes to try on the clothes in the stall across from me, pulling a confused alphy’s in with her.

We took turns popping out of the dressing room to present our outfits while the other part popped their head from behind the curtain to judge it. It seems like undyne had picked out some of the more feminine items but because I had picked them out with mostly alpys in mind, they were extremely short on her. Making her already long legs look like they went on for miles. I wish I had that problem. She didn’t seem to mind the less feminine clothes but she was especially excited to wear anything that looked risqué or accentuated the curves that she had. Going so far as to strike ridiculous ‘sexy’ poses.

Judging by alphys face it was extremely effective.

In contrast to undyne she seemed more comfortable in tomboyish attire, or things that covered more skin. When she finally put on the dress I picked out for her she was blushing furiously tail swishing from side to side as she stood there nervously between the two rooms.

“w-what do you guys think?”

“Honestly it’s the cutest thing I've seen in a while,” I say. “can you do a turn?”

Alphys does, she’s hugging her tail now the yellow of her scales a creamsicle color now with how hard she’s blushing. The dress was only a few shades darker and had a really pretty bow that tied at the neck and trailed down her back.

Undyne growled at the action and was leering down at her with lidded eyes. “we’re buying it.” She says bluntly. Her response was a stammering string of words that I couldn’t make sense of, followed by her clearing her throat and nodding.

I popped my head back into the dressing room before it got weird, but I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks a bit at the display. I imagined scott looking down at me like that and I felt my face blaze. I shook my head to clear the image, he never looked at me that way. that’s why I was out here in the first place. I pull out one of the few outfits left and look it over. It was a simple evening dress in a deep red. It had a deep v-neckline and an entirely exposed back. There was not one but two slits in the dress, each one started at my hip and mirrored the slant going down to the floor. I took a deep breath and put it on. It was way out of my comfort zone but I didn’t have to get it if I didn’t want to. Sliding it over my head I had to tug it down for how tight it was.

I guess it made sense, if it was tight then I wouldn’t have to worry about the thin fabric slipping and exposing something that it wasn’t supposed to. But it hugged my body closer than anything else I've ever owned. Sure this might invoke…feelings but it could probably just as easily invoke a lot of teasing.
The dress pooled on the floor and the slits exposed my upper thighs the fabric in the middle not wanting to stay put, showing off a ton more leg than I would like. I looked like a child that was playing dress up in their mother’s closet.

“Everything alright in there? You’ve been in there for a while” Alphys calls. She sounds like she’s right outside the curtain now so she must have changed back into her normal clothes.

“Yeah..I’m just thinking.”

“having trouble getting into something?” undyne asks next.

“no, I got into it fine”

“well show us then!”

I breathe in before exhaling in a huff, peeking out of the stall face hot. Irritated by my behavior undyne pulled the curtain open from the opposite end exposing me in my red evening dress that probably matched my startled complexion. Both she and alphy’s looked down at me with wide eyes. I sat there fiddling with my nails as I waited for their critiques, it would’ve helped if I could feel anything other than shock from them.

“Hey uh, could you guys say something.”

Alphy’s blinks and blushes realizing that she had been staring, Undyne just beams.

“We got ourselves a hidden gem!” she says with raucous laughter. “forget that boyfriend of yours you could get any guy in a dress like that. Definitely need a pair of heels though” Alphys nods in agreement.

“But I can't just wear this in broad daylight”

“hm, that’s true but you should definitely buy it you never know when you might need something a little more…steamy” She wiggled her eyebrow.

I choke on my own spit at that and alphys elbows undyne only for her to respond with more laughter.

“how come you haven’t tried that one on yet?” she says pointing to the abandoned yellow dress on the hook.

“uh, no real reason,” I say looking away, I was hoping that they would’ve forgotten about it with the sheer amount of clothes we had tried on.

“well come on it’s the last one!” She pulls the curtain closed and leaves me to stare at the frilly thing.

I pulled it on as fast as I could thinking that it would get it over with as soon as possible. The pale yellow halter top dress had ruffles that followed the neckline accompanied by sheer long sleeves that buttoned with faux pearls at the wrist. Where the last dress I tried on last was long this one was short, only coming down to my knees in a loose bell shape.

Not wanting to make undyne barging into my dressing room a second time I don’t linger for long and open the curtain for them to see.

They both look at each other and nod. “that suits you,” alphy’s says. “if you were going for cute then t-that’s the one.”

“don’t I look childish?” I ask I couldn’t get a good read on what they were feeling so I risked a glance at their eyes. I caught genuine admiration and awe.

“why would I pick it out for you if I thought it would!” Undyne fixes me with a gentle look which almost looks foreign on her features and pats me on the shoulder. “it’s pretty on you.”

Alphys nods “ t-that one looks perfect”

“see even Alphy thinks so!”

I beam at that, not because I was given a compliment but because usually, things like this would’ve gotten me ridiculed in the past. I ran my hand through the skirt. Happy to be wearing it now that the possibility that they would make fun of me in it has passed.

“thank you”

We checked out our top pics, undyne seemed to want more than half of what I had picked out for them but revered the sundress that she loved on alphy’s. Speaking of, undyne refused to let her pay or carry any of the bags.

When it was my turn to pay, the cashier seemed downtrodden at the sheer amount of work we were giving her with all the items we weren’t going to take. I shot her an apologetic glance, knowing how that was, having worked plenty of retail myself. I look down at the price and once again the total hurts, but I took comfort in the fact that it wasn’t a food item and I would be using these items for a long time. And as I swiped my card I had to keep reminding myself that it was worth it.
The rest of the outing was uneventful, that is if you considered undone almost jumping into a fountain uneventful. Me and Alphys managed to pull her back before she could. Barely. Usually hanging out with more than one person for long periods of time was uncomfortable but this…this was nice.
We walk through the mall alittle more before I gear up to turn to them. “Thanks for hanging out with me, this has been pretty fun” I get it out but not with some degree of embarrassment.

“hey! Whyre you going soft on us huh of course it was fun!” She says hooking a arm around my shoulder and shakes me. I caught vague memories of doing something similar with her at the party.

“Sorry to say though, but me and alphy need to head out we have a few errands to get to today.”

“y-yeah”

“but don’t feel so bummed out you still have my number! We should all get together and do something”

I smile at them, ”I’d like that”

I wave them both off as they leave and turn to make my way back to my car. My phone dings and I go to check to see who it is and I see that undyne has added alphys to the group chat.

piranna guzzler: be there for our anime marathon Friday or youre gunna regret it.

moe_magiclagirl: we’ll have snacks

I sent back a quick text telling them id be happy to, and I grinned all the way back to my car.

Chapter Text

My drive home had me feeling full-on chipper. While I might be feeling drained from being out around so many people, it had felt nice to hang out and do things that friends normally would. It felt mundane in a good way. Maybe I should call Emily and propose a girl’s day out, it would be good to get out and hang together like we used to. Opening my door to my vacant house I ease into the mild air conditioning with my shopping bag. Funny how I had spent more time at the mall and money than I probably had business to and all I had to show for it was two dresses shoved into a tiny bag. When I go to drop my keys onto the little table by the door my hand brushes against something. Looking down I notice a note addressed to me. Picking it up something drops out, a metallic tinkling followed as the key falls to the table.

Maybe lulu had forgotten her key there before she left? But it didn’t look like the house key. Deciding to leave it there I made my way over to the couch to read the note. It wasn’t anything elaborate. All it said was that she needed me to call her when I got the chance and it even had her number written below.

I hadn’t realized that I didn’t even have her number until now. Though then again there was never a need for it since we always could just talk face to face and usually when I was on my phone I was usually preoccupied with looking for something else. before I go to dial her, I throw my purse and bag up onto the couch. plopping down on the bouncy cushions to kick off my shoes as I listen to the dial tone.

Lulu only let it ring twice before picking it up.

“hey May sorry to bug you,”

“you're not no worries! what’s up?” I asked adjusting the phone as I sit back into the sofa.

“I know this is out of the blue but I have to ask you for a favor,”

“sure, what do you need me to do?”

“well, I forgot that I had another shipment of stuff coming in tonight and I was wondering if you could be there to receive it. I would even pay you for your time, I just don’t want them to turn around without dropping off the new stuff.”

“I don’t mind helping out, you don’t need to pay me for that.”

“you sure? This is technically a work thing.”

“yeah, that’s fine. so, what time should I be there?”

“They should be there by ten or eleven, I left a key to the shop over by the door.” I glanced over to where it still laid. That made sense. “ When they do come to bring it in don’t feel like you have to put it away, I can do that in the morning. If they were more consistent about when they arrived then I wouldn’t mind doing this myself, but just about every time I leave the room ‘Lena has a delivery scare.”

“how is she doing by the way?”

“oh she’s doing great but she looks about ready to burst or kill us, because we’re all up her ass. We’ll see what comes first.”

I chuckled at that, “well let me know if you get a niece or nephew”

“oh everyone in a ten mile radius will know, I’ll make sure of it.” I could hear her smile in her voice. “So! How are you doing? I sorta miss having you around. As much as I love the chaos that is my family, I didn't notice how having someone who’s in tune with how I’m feeling could be soothing until I got back around them.” She grumbled. “ We’re all horrible at reading each other. Which has been the cause of a lot. Of. misunderstandings.” She says a grunt between each word and a solid thwap could be heard over the phone for each grunt. I could hear laughing in the background and retreating footsteps.

I didn’t know what to say about that. Lulu was getting more comfortable about talking about this casually, but this was still foreign to me. Especially because she had expressed that what I could do made her so uncomfortable before. Did she mean that or was she just making small talk? I really wish I could read her right now so I wouldn’t have to feel so anxious.

“ I missed you too, I don’t have my wine buddy around,” I joke half heartedly hoping my nerves wouldn’t crack my voice.

Lulu sputters a laugh “oh no! when the baby is born that’s what we’ll be! Wine aunts!”

I chuckled at the image of me and her being a sassy wine aunt. There’s a muffled voice calling for lulu and she answers them with something I can’t hear. “sorry May I have to go, just remember the key, delivery around ten through eleven and you don’t have to unpack anything. “

I nodded before I realized that she couldn’t see me. “gotcha,”

“okay call me if you need me!”

“will do,” there’s the hang up tone and the line goes dead. Looking down at my phone and see that I still have a few hours to kill. I get up to put my bags away, tucking the note into my purse. Did lulu really mean that though? I haven’t heard of anyone being affected positively by me knowing what I shouldn’t. But she sounded genuine at the very least. My heart fluttered uncomfortably with my rising anxiety, I really needed to do something to get my mind off of it. Entering my room I'm met once again by my sewing machine.

I ran my fingers over the mostly neglected project sitting there. Yeah, no not today. I lifted the presser foot from the dress before sliding it from under the needle, cutting the thread and tying it off. A smaller project would kill some time. Using the same spool of thread and some scrap fabric I decided to make her a small surprise gift.

I figured a small plushie wouldn’t take long. I cut out the parts I needed from the simple fabric by memory, not needing a template for this simple project. I had made teddy bears plenty of times in the past so this wasn’t much different. The only difference was the scale that I was making it in, and a few of its accessories.

I’ve never made one so small before, I had expected it to be faster but ironically it took more time to be delicate and careful with the thing. The plushie wouldn’t be any taller than my thumb. Maybe I should have hand sewn this. Looking down at the limp unfilled, unfinished creation I did a hard pass at that thought. If I went down that route, I’d end up fighting knots in the thread and accidentally pricking myself.

I lost my train of thought as I resumed the rhythmic tapping of the presser foot as it gathered material and sewed. I made sure to go slow, so I could keep the hem straight, officially finishing the base of the plush. I turned it around in my hands to examine it and realized the only source of light I had was from the little bulb on my sewing machine. I glanced over to my window to see that it was in fact night. Now that I had thought about it, I never did turn on the light when I came in. Though, there had been plenty of natural light at the time.

I had been working on this for a few hours so it must be getting close to the time I was supposed to head over. Checking my phone, I verified that I had time to spare. I got up to turn on the lamp, feeling better now that it was casting a gentle glow on the room. I reached under the sewing table for the bag of polyfill I’ve hidden there. I grabbed a hefty handful of the fluffy stuff from the bag, filling the tiny plush through the back. I wouldn’t need all of the filling but I stuffed in as much as I could until it was almost stiff and did a simple stitch to close it up. I finished it up with button eyes and a pouch to simulate an apron. Even sewing on straps where the apron would’ve been held up.

Though, looking it over I felt like it was missing something. I rummaged through my art cabinet until I found what I was looking for and made my way back over to the plushie. I quickly stitched a loop through the top of it’s head and I was satisfied. I had finished the bobble head-esq bunny plush, and while it wasn’t perfect there was something satisfying about finishing what I set out to do. I grabbed my purse and took the plushie with me out to the living room as I glanced over it for any loose threads I may have missed. I slid back into my shoes that I never really untied and made my way over to the door.
I sat the plushie down next to where she had set the key, making sure not to forget it there before heading out.
Time had flown while making the plushie and the delivery window was supposed to be in less than thirty minutes, assuming they came right at ten. I get in my car and drive over, rolling my window down to let the cool night air whip through my hair. I lazily dangled my arm out the window threading my fingers through the wind. The road was relatively empty with only a few people strolling down the sidewalk not seeming like they had any real places to go. Calm nights and lazy mornings were the best times of the day. When it was too early for people to be stirring or just late enough where things weren’t dead but were winding down for the next day.
The ride wasn’t long and when I got there the truck wasn't there yet. I unlock the doors and had to pull to slide it open before locking them behind me. I am met with the silent, eerily deserted isles. Luckily it wasn’t pitch black in here, there was still the dim security lighting that fought off the majority of the darkness, but it wasn’t nearly as bright as I’m used to. I guess it was meant to deter looters. I absentmindedly puttered around the front of the store as I browsed. So, what to do now that I have to wait?

I looked over to where lulu’s register was, I had yet to see her use the thing. I had a sneaking suspicion that maybe she was just as embarrassed about having to use the “booster seat” as I was. Leaned up onto the side was a broom. I wonder when she picked up a new one. I chuckled to myself at the memory of Jerry being smacked with a broom like a rat. I cringed at the blurry memory of a rodent that I couldn’t easily place and decided to get busy sweeping.

It was better to stay busy than to be idle. Though it was hard to focus on anything other than the silence, especially when being in the store alone was beginning to raise my paranoia of being watched. I pulled out my phone to play some music, letting Spotify blast whatever pop song was in the top fifty, but I made sure it wasn’t so loud as to drown out someone trying to get my attention from the front door. Even though the music was cheery and upbeat it only barely cut through my unease, but I found solace in looking through the different products.

I made it through the cereal aisle first and didn’t see anything too out of the ordinary. Something akin to cheerios, coco balls, Temmie flakes. The box was decked out in an alternating yellow and blue with a white dog…or was it a cat? With nice hair. Temmie flakes again? So it was a meat flavored snack, a dessert, and a cereal? Maybe Temmie flakes was a brand then and not the flavor. I made a mental note to try those out just to sate my curiosity. Either they were really good or really bad but either way I would find out. I finished sweeping all of the dust out of the aisle and was met with the back wall of the store, which had what looked like the meat section.

That reminds me, I need to pick up more bacon. I think I used the last of it a few days ago. I swept up dust bunnies from under the open-faced refrigerator. Bouncing to a familiar song that came on. No one was around right? No harm in dancing a little. As the song got more into the tempo I ended up doing less sweeping than I was putting out moves that would blind a normal person but just as it was getting to the best part the music was cut off by loud ringing. Startled, I almost tripped on my own feet, fumbling to work my phone out of my pocket.
When I see the caller ID I freeze. It’s Scott. He wasn’t texting this time he was calling. He almost never called. I dropped the broom in a hurry to answer it. flinching at the loud clattering of it hitting the floor.

When I answer it’s silent on the other end.

“Hello?”

“hey,” he sounded…off. Then again, I hadn’t heard his voice in months. Maybe I was imagining things.

After a long pause of uncomfortable silence though, I start to feel unsettled.

“Scott…are you alright?” I ask gently.

He hesitates but answers, the morose mood gone. quickly replaced with something else I couldn’t place without seeing his face. “Yeah! Why wouldn’t I be. I just wanted to call because…I miss you. I just want to let you know that you're a really good person, and that I know we don’t talk enough.”

I stood there shell shocked, while nothing he was saying was particularly outlandish it was just so out of the blue. “ I miss you too. You know I’m always available to talk whenever.” I say softly.

“yeah I know, It’s just lately I feel like I don’t deserve you, or you could do better.”

I felt a sick thing twist in my gut as I felt my heart squeeze. “Scott, we’ve been together long before we even started dating of course you deserve me.” I couldn’t speak above almost a whisper, feeling like my voice would shake. I felt equal parts worry for him and worry that there was something deeply wrong that I was missing. “Plus I love you, there aren’t any conditions that you need to fill for me to do that. I really do miss you though,” I let out a sad chuckle.

“yeah, I miss you too maple.”

Usually I’d smile at the nickname, but I was more distracted by the lack of him saying something else. I don’t mention it though, and Scott doesn’t leave much room to think about it before he continues.

“I’ve just been thinking about alot. I was wondering…When do you see yourself coming back?”

My breath hitched as the memories dredged themselves to the surface. Being beat up. torn clothes. Laying at the bottom of a staircase. Spending time in a hospital.

I'm at a loss. I wasn’t anywhere near ready to go back yet, but I needed to see him. I could see the strain this had on him too. “Is there anyways that you could come and visit me here?”

“you know I can’t, my mother can't be on her own for too long and my brother lives too far away if there’s an emergency.”

His mother got sick periodically with really harsh down-turns in her health when she did, but she hasn’t had an episode in a while and usually, she showed signs well-beforehand. Though that was probably selfish.

I couldn’t keep the frown off my face, luckily he couldn’t see my expression. “uh, sure. Yeah I’ll come down there. “ I say, doing my best to keep the stress out of my voice.

Scott lets out a relieved sigh “thank you,”

I’m about to tell him that I don’t know what day I would be able to make it for a visit when I’m startled by banging over by the front door.

“ hey, give me a sec Scott.” I whisper. Making my way up to the front and peeking around the aisle to see who was banging on the door. Though to my relief, it looks like the delivery guys.

It was a monster in coveralls. He had a hand cupped to the door to try and look inside. Upon seeing me they wave at me to come let him in.

“Looks like the delivery guys are here, do you mind if I call you back?”

“that’s alright just send me a text, talk to you later.”

“alright, love-“

The line was dead. He must not have heard me; I don’t think he did that on purpose. The same poppy song started playing back up and it felt so out of place now that I felt everything other than upbeat. I turned off the music making my way over to the door to hurry and unlock it. The monster standing there looks mildly confused as I pull the sliding doors open. I probably should have turned on the power to the automatic doors rather than struggle to get the huge thing open but oh well.

The towering rodent monster was stocky, and their grey coveralls had their name sewn into the chest in tiny print. It read ‘tony’ in pseudo cursive. They stand there looking down at me stoically, seeming to assess me. I didn’t feel the usual snaking suspicion that I usually did from monsters. Just mild itchy curiosity.

“Lulu in tonight?” their gruff voice asked in a clipped tone.

“She won't be in, she’s looking over her sister tonight.” I say with a smile, though it was somewhat forced. My mood was still soured from that phone call, but I couldn’t place why. He had been sweet when he said he missed me hadn’t he? The monster just continued to stare and I realized maybe he thought I was going to say something else. I didn’t realize that my smile had faltered, schooling my expression into something cheerier I continued.

“So, I’m here to bring in the delivery!” I inwardly cringed at the sound of my own voice. okay maybe that was too much.

They quirk up an eyebrow and continue to stare but ultimately shrug. He turned to look behind him and waved to who I assumed was the rest of the delivery crew. The parking lot that was humming with the sound of the massive truck engine cut off and Tony turned away to head over and help. I couldn’t make out anyone from across the parking lot since the headlights were glaring against my glasses. Though, it didn’t take long for two more rodent monsters to come into view. Compared to the first monster I met these monsters were less burly. Though that didn’t mean that they were in any way mousey. If they wanted to, any one of them could probably lift me up and chuck me a few yards. I watched as They steadily bring in a ton of boxes and it doesn’t seem like there’s going to be an end to it any time soon. I felt bad that I was just standing around watching them work.

As the three began carrying in crates of food by hand, there was one monster that was wheeling the stuff in, it was a spindly rodent monster that wheeled crates in with a hand truck who seemed like he wanted to avoid me at all costs.

Even though he kept a good distance from me I could feel the repel of a thick barrier, like the air was noticeably thicker around him. It has been a while since I've felt shame that strong. Did he feel ashamed to have to help out a human? When I looked at him, I could feel apprehension, but I couldn’t tell if it was mine or his. I chucked my unease to the feeling I got from him and ignored them.

The rodent monster wheeled in another few boxes when the rest had gone back to get more, and I decided I would approach him. “hey, can I help out?” I ask

They freeze where they stood and give me a baffled look. Stiff fear, and foggy thick air. “uh sure if you want.”

I offered him a smile to try and put him at ease and the shame seemed to multiply tenfold. I couldn’t stand anywhere near him now without almost feeling choked. As politely as I could, I hurried off to the truck. Tony who I assumed was the supervisor eyed me as he hefted a box up onto his shoulder and wrapped a thick tail around a smaller one.

“there a problem?” he asks gruffly. He sounded rough but I didn’t feel anything negative from him, just mild uncertainty.

I gestured loosely to where the other spindly rodent monster was inside. “I asked him if I could help out, I just wanted to bring in a few boxes.”

While his expression doesn’t change at all, emotions I read off of him flitted from one to the other so fast I could barely register it. Surprise, irritation, warm? What was the warm feeling? Before one half of his mouth quirked up in a smile. He chuckled and adjusted the box on his shoulder. He turned his head and leaned around the back of the open truck.

“AYE JOE!”

I jump at his sudden loudness. He had been so neutral before, but maybe that was him trying to be professional since I was technically a customer? Everything I felt from him now was playful, lighthearted. He was the biggest one here but maybe he was secretly a softy.

“WHAT!” Joe yelled back from the depths of the truck.

“GRAB A T-4 CRATE WHEN YOU COME OUT AND GIVE IT TO THE LADY”

“WHAT?” Joe popped his head out to look at him. “why”

“the little lady wants to help out.” He says and nods almost to confirm what he just said to himself.

Joe looks from me to him and shrugs. “I’m only going to give her the T-2 boxes. I don’t think she can handle the T-4” He says disappearing back into the truck.

Tony looks at me and nods again. “what’s your name.” he asks but it's almost like a statement more than a question.

“uh, may”

“well may its good to meet ya.” He says as he walks away, not seeming phased by the heavy boxes he was carrying.

Joe comes out not too long after with his own small pile of boxes. He lifts the top two off with his tail and holds them out to me. I put my arms out and he drops the boxes into them. These boxes are just cardboard and they're feather light to what I was expecting them to be.

“feels as light as paper or something.” I say as I walk alongside joe to bring them in.

He chuckles, “I mean you're not wrong. Those are napkins.”

My face heated up at that. I could carry something heavier than napkins.

“aw don’t pout! We appreciate you helping out n’ all but let us worry about the heavy lifting.”

As we near the store I hear someone getting chewed out. “so this is who you told me about? N’ you have the nerve to make her go lift boxes?”

When we get to the door Joe motions for me to stand off to the side. Confused I listen and do what he asks. When he goes in he clears his throat and who I assume is tony settles down. I hear some whispered conversation and decide It's too awkward to wait outside trying not to eavesdrop. I walk in pretending I didn’t hear anything and set the boxes down. The room was silent now, and all of them seemed frozen in place.

The air in the room was palpable and I felt a very real electricity in the air. As the four stood in a circle, with joe trying to calm down Tony and the other monster standing with their arms crossed looking heatedly at what might be the youngest. Even though I could feel a lot of anger in the room it was all undercut with love and concern. Though the anger was still very much real.

“oh. you’re all related.” I blurt out. I hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

Joe, who seemed like the only one more concerned than angry just smiled nervously. “yeah, we’re all brothers. Family business and all.” He nudged Tony, who stopped glaring at his younger brother and sighed.

Tony hooked an arm roughly around his neck. “yeah and this ass-hat here is Marco.” Tony was giving the spindly rodent a dangerous look before it became almost condescendingly sweet. “He’s gonna pick up the slack and let you do whatever shopkeep’s do.” Even though he’s talking to me, his eyes don’t leave his brother.

I look over to the boxes of napkins. “sorry I wasn’t trying to get anyone in trouble, I was the one that offered.” I say shuffling in place.

Joe shrugs “nah don’t worry ‘bout it. No ones in trouble, we’re just ribbing him a bit.” He waves at the other brother that hasn’t stopped glaring at Marco “Aye, Nicky help be bring in the big ones.”

‘Nicky’ or is it actually nick? Grumbled and huffed but followed Joe anyway. The other two brothers followed suit, though Marco went less than willingly. Leaving me on my own with a pile of boxes. Once they were out of ear shot over by the truck they started arguing again.

For the next few loads that they brought in Marco was carrying the brunt of it, no longer allowed to use the hand truck it seemed. Joe stood next to me and watched as Marco struggled with the boxes. He nudged me and nodded towards his brother. “Not that he deserves it, but I hope you can forgive him.”

I glanced at his struggling form as he heaved the boxes up onto the pile. Not seeming to hear our conversation.

“forgive him for what? I offered to help, he didn’t make me.” I looked up at him confused.

Joe looks at me and looks away. “ Nevermind, forget I said anything.” He says.

Tony comes in with more boxes and narrows his eyes at joe. “Joey whaddya standing around for? go get the rest of the boxes.” He says as he huffs as he sets down his own.

“yeah, yeah I’m goin’”

I stare after them as they make quick work of the rest of the load. When it was done, tony stood there in front of the multiple piles.

“Okay, so I'm gonna go through this quick so pay attention. These ones all for refrigeration, these are boxed goods, these are juices, and these are items that need to be kept frozen.”

I nodded looking over the piles committing it to memory. “ got it”

He crosses his arms and nods too. “tell Lulu I say congratulations.” He says turning and walking out the door. “and you look after yourself,” He says, not turning to look back as he continued to make his way into the cab of the truck.

I pulled the door closed behind him, not knowing what to make of the last thing he said. Locking the door, I glanced at the overwhelming size of the pile. I know lulu had said that she would come in later to put this away but if she had to go through all of this then she might be away from her sister for too long.

So, I got to work putting things away. Loaded up a basket full as much refrigerated stuff that would fit first and began my scavenger hunt for where they were meant to go. Even though there were signs indicating what was in them, navigating the store was still a challenge. Though as I made my second trip into the pile and not making much of a dent, I cursed myself for not downing a cup of coffee before I came over. It was a quarter past three and you had made a decent dent into the piles.

After finishing the frozen and refrigerated stuff I was down to heavier items like cans, and juices. It became very apparent that reaching certain shelves was going to be impossible. So I stuck to the lighter items instead. Making faster work of cereal boxes and snacks. I had to contain my mirth when I stumble across a box of those god awful mettaton posters that Lulu seemed to like. Which reminds me, it would be a smart idea to text lulu. I quickly typed out a message letting her know not to worry about having to put away anything. Looking at my clock though I'm surprised to see it’s a quarter past two am. Though my body definitely felt how late it was.

I had two more piles to go through, I was going to finish what I started. I put on the most obnoxious pop song playlist and turned the volume up to the max. I am met with ‘caramel dancing’ as the first song. It was cursed but would always be iconic.

***

I pull up to the parking lot of my store, and I’m surprised to see that May’s car is still there. I know she had sent me a text last night but that was hours ago there’s no way she was still inside.

When I get out and go to unlock the door, I could hear music blaring from inside. Confused, I pull the door open and I’m met with ‘call me maybe’ blasting from over by may’s counter. Rounding the corner I see May sitting on the floor leaning up against the candy bars sound asleep.

“May?” I call trying to wake her up.

“Hey May!” I call louder doing my best to compete with the volume of the music.

No response. I gently shake her arm and she startles awake and looks around abruptly sitting all the way upright. She seems to register me and blushes furiously, the warm tone of her skin deepening. She looks around and snatches up her phone and turns off the deafening music.

I huffed out an incredulous laugh. This wasn’t the first time that May has surprised me and it probably wouldn’t be the last. At least she was okay. “Did you really stay here all night?” Though I don’t really need an answer, glancing over to the usually familiar pile of boxes that were mostly put away, but were no longer separated by what they were.

“you really didn’t have to do this all by yourself,” I say, trying to give her a disapproving smile but honestly I was more worried about her being in the store alone all night.

May just gives me a reassuring smile completely ignoring what other people would react more timidly to. She gets up and dusts herself off. “you don’t need to worry, I’m fine.” She yawns and stretches before turning sleepily to the pile. “so are we going to finish up the rest of these?” She asks blearily.

I stare at her baffled as she starts to shuffle over to the pile rubbing her eyes under her glasses. I don’t know why but the image was ridiculous. I sputtered a laugh, but it grew into an all-out heaving gut-busting roar. It just got worse when I saw her face, she was looking at me like I was the crazy one. When I was finally able to breathe I did my best to calm myself. Hoo boy.

“May. it’s seven AM, the only thing you're going to be doing is sleeping.”

May yawns again at the mention of sleep. “Are you sure you don’t need help?” her tired eyes stare through me in the way she usually does, and I stare back. I was definitely sure.

I shook my head at her. “you know, you're the craziest human I’ve ever met.” I say steering her out the still-open door.

“but what about the rest of the stuff, won't you be away from her too long?” she says drowsily as I lock up behind us.

I’m beginning to see that May is too much of a people pleaser, even though it was genuine I couldn’t say I didn’t notice how it affects her. I could just as easily take advantage; accept the help and she wouldn’t even complain.

“you pretty much did all the work for me,” I unlock the car door and gesture to it. “hop in,” I tell her, earning a snicker from May. and I squinted at her.” Har-Har” I say in mock irritation.

“Thanks for the ride,” she says, letting out another yawn already leaning on the car door.

“What else are good friends for?”

“good friends?” She says, and I glance over to see her beaming, even though she’s trying to hide it.

“Someone could even say best friends,” I shrug looking at the road fighting the slight feeling of embarrassment rising in my chest.

May’s silent at that and I risk a glance over at her. She’s not looking at me, seeming to have lost the fight of keeping her eyes open. But she was still smiling pretty hard. She didn’t seem to mind at least. “So how come I wasn’t before now?” she says, her voice thick with sleep.

“Well, I have pretty high standards for friends and you're so short that I thought you’d have trouble reaching them.”

I didn’t miss May sitting up out of the corner of my eye and I could feel her glare on me. I didn’t laugh but I couldn’t help that my face quirked into a tight smile as I held it in.

“Seriously though get some rest, I’ll wake you when we get home.”

I don’t have to really convince her, after a minute or two more of driving I could hear the soft rhythmic breathing of sleep. Looking at her, she looked restless even when she slept. under her eyes sported a permanent shadow and She always seemed so tired, so it was a relief to see her get some rest. Though, I don’t think it’s sleep she needs but peace of mind.

As long as she’s lived with me I’ve never seen any of her friends drop by. Did she even have any? Or what about family? I frowned, I don’t know what it would be like to be without someone. It felt like all I knew was family and being surrounded by people. I glance down at the little plushie of a rabbit that dangled from my keychain. No one deserved to be alone.

Chapter Text

Papyrus made a show of walking back and forth in front of the t.v. while Emily and I played another round of smash. Usually, I’d be pretty miffed if someone was deliberately trying to ruin the game, or I would’ve been if I had to even focus on it to win. I’ve been playing for about an hour now and still haven’t lost once, and to be honest I was getting bored of it. Emily is pouting but every time I offer to play a different game she gets hostile.

Papyrus goes through the kitchen which is on the other side of the room and while he has plenty of room to walk behind the couch to get to his duffel bag by the door, he decides to sashay, Slowly, In front of the tv. Having determined that this was the best path of travel to place singular items in his bag for his sparring session with undyne. While I don’t care about the deliberate obstruction, Emily sure does. She makes sure to let out an exasperated huff every time Paps does it and oh boy does he notice.

Since Emily keeps insisting on not giving up and I’m not about to give her a cheap win anytime soon, I leisurely practice chain moves on her character as she spams random attacks and her shield. The game is so lax that I didn’t miss the look that Paps gives me and Emily.

Luckily, Emily is completely focused on not being smacked off the platform to notice the look of disgust he’s giving her. It would've been a thing that would have sent most running too. The combination of his sharp features pulled into a sneer and his towering form was enough to get most people to hightail it, unfortunately for him, his target was too busy trying to beat me solely focused on the screen.

Paps turns his ire on me instead “DON’T YOU THINK THIS IS ENOUGH OF THIS BRAIN ROTTING SO-CALLED ENTERTAINMENT.” This wasn’t a question, but a poorly disguised demand. While he wasn’t one for videogames, I knew the real problem here was that he wanted Emily to leave. He made that known several times before, only recently forgoing the usual ‘human stench’ comments in exchange for dirty looks instead.

“ If I hadda brain, then I guess it would be,” I shrug at him. He’s the one who wanted me to preoccupy myself, and I’m doing just that.

at my response, he narrows his sockets at me. Actually no, I take that back, he’s downright glaring at me. A band of sunlight that made its way through the blinds glinted off the gold filling his two parallel scars on his left eye.

At the prolonged glaring, I began to sweat growing increasingly worried that he was going to send a bone attack my way in front of Emily. I let out a breath in relief when he makes another trip in front of the tv instead, violently shoving the rest of his things into his duffel.

“IM LEAVING.” He announces throwing his bag over his shoulder in a huff. “DON’T MAKE A MESS, CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF AND FOOD IS IN THE FRIDGE.” He glared at the oblivious human, making it apparent that he believed the ‘mess’ was her, before looking me in the socket again. “AND DON’T YOU DARE GO EAT AT GRILLBY’S AFTER IVE SLAVED OVER THAT STOVE!” pointing at me accusingly before swiveling on his heel and going out the front door. Making sure to slam it as hard as he could behind him, rattling the room. I didn't flinch and I reached out and caught the lamp from falling off the side table. Emily however almost drops her controller at the sound but that doesn’t stop her from playing. Though only a little while later I get so bored I start getting creative about my takedowns just wanting to have fun with the game. Emily, on the other hand, was just growing more and more heated with each loss until she stands abruptly and tosses her controller onto the couch turning to me obviously pissed.

“what the actual fuck!” She’s seething, damn near foaming at the mouth. I look at her not surprised exactly but still taken aback by the venom in her tone. I looked between her and the end card screen announcing the winner.

“what?”

“what do you mean what!” she points at the screen, “why can't you just let me win! Why do you have to go all out just to make sure I don’t win,” her volume is rising and she's leaning forward towards me.

I eye her and her stance and how close she is to me. She doesn’t look like she’s about to attack me she just looks like she’s throwing a tantrum. Emily stood there in front of me with her hands on her hips as if shes some angry parent scolding her kid. Though in height she just barely stood taller than me sitting down, and that wasn’t by much. I tried not to, I really did but I sputtered a laugh at the thought. Emily leans away from me offended

“Why does it matter so much its just a game. Whaddaya want me to do? Throw every game we play together?”

“no!! I just want you to show me you care about me! But all you care about is winning!” She seethes, “I can't even tell if you’re interested or not like what am I doing wrong do you not like me or something?”

I looked at her deadpan, confused as fuck about what she was going on about. While she might be right about me not being all that interested in her I was still willing to play the part. Its not like she wasn’t using me too. I’ve seen what she posts online, it’s not like any of her posts were private, I could easily tell she was benefitting from boasting about dating a monster.

She looks at me like she’s waiting for me to object to anything she was saying, but in the wake of my silence, her fury seems to grow “You know what? Fuck you! It’s not like you care about me anyway.”

Emily storms off to the door, snatching her purse off the coat rack before swinging the door open just to slam it behind her. It didn’t have anywhere near the same force that Paps had.

What was the normal thing to do in this situation? I glanced over to where Emily had just been. Noticing the door was slightly ajar I heaved myself up to close it. Luckily, Paps wasn’t around to see her slam the door. While nothing was in danger of falling when Emily did it, it was a matter of respect. All hell would break loose if Paps thought anyone believed they could come in his house and slam doors.

Hell, if it had been anyone else I would’ve been the one to have that ‘conversation’ with them myself. so instead of following them to give them a piece of my mind, I was doing my best to let it go.

I don’t even understand why losing at a game was even that big a deal, but she had the nerve to curse me out about how I don’t care about her? How does me not losing at a game have anything to do with not caring about someone? Though it’s really fucking hard to care about someone when they don’t give a fuck about you.

Maybe this was how humans dated. Did human females assume the dominant role and the males became more submissive or something? I cringed at the idea of having to kiss ass every day all day, though I doubt that was the case. I started up another round to blow off some steam, but after going through a few NPC’s I got bored pretty quickly. I didn't have anyone who could play a few rounds with, since the only other people that I knew that could play me were currently off training with each other.

Sighing I pull my phone out, maybe I should smooth things over with her, I didn’t feel like having this get dragged out later. It wouldn’t be the first time where something small blew up into a huge argument with her. Opening up my phone I went into my messaging app, having to spend a little bit of magic so the screen could register my phalanges. I cursed to myself as I did my best to keep from scratching the screen with the sharp ends of my distal phalanges. I really need to file them blunter again.

Between avoiding destroying the thing and putting out just the right amount of magic to use it made the simple task an entire ordeal. Damn human technology. I missed being able to use my old phone but none of our stuff had the range to get in contact with each other from over states away, so we were forced to switch over to this stupid ass alternative that drained the ever-loving fuck out of me.

When I opened the app I noticed that the last time I used this I was in a group chat with Emily and her friend. All I knew about her was that she seemed ok from what I could remember. May didn't seem to hate smash and she was a good sport from what I could tell.

Shrugging I decided to send her a message in a separate group chat. Letting it convert speech to text so I didn't have to waste any more energy than I needed to.

Red: hey ya gremlin you up to play some games?

I play another round while I wait for a response. I heard my text sound go off, it was a sound- byte of a trumpet toot.

Mayple syrup:

Lol gremlin?
But sure
Playstation?

Red:
Ya
User is bigboned1

Mayple:
Lol really?

Red:
Shuttup

I get a notification shortly after inviting me to a party. Looks like they went by the username of _wildchild_ . pfft, as if anything about them was wild.

I pulled on my headset, and changed the settings on the title screen to get her in.

“Aye can ya hear me?”

There’s some shuffling on the other end and clacking that I assume is her getting her headset on.

“Yeah I can hear you. You caught me at a good time I was bored as heck. What are we playing?”

“Im trying to play some Smash.”

There’s some silence and for a second I thought she disconnected. “Uh, is Emily there?” She asks.

“Nah she hightailed it outta here a while ago.”

I could hear the audible sigh come from her. “Then yeah definitely I’m down to play some smash it’s been a while.”

Looks like I wasn't the only one receiving Emily’s wrath when it came to the game. Though It was still one of my favorites and I wasn't about to take it easy on her just because she wanted me to, she just needed to learn the controls like everyone else.

“Imma just assume that her throwing a fit is normal then?”

“for her anyway, yeah”

May chooses Kirby and I suppress an eye roll. I go through the menu options and see a little blue skeleton dude and skip over him. That was sort of uncanny but whatever, I picked yoshi as a starter and left the stage to be chosen at random.

We both play a close game but I felt challenged enough to play a few dirty moves. Stunning her before scooping her into my mouth and spitting her out over the edge before she could recover.

“If you used moves like that on Emily then she’s more than just mad.”

“Nah, never needed to. She doesn't know any of the chain moves.”

We both started getting used to playing to each other’s combat style quickly, the intense gameplay and good-natured competition becoming a relaxing distraction from the earlier part of the day. Weird how two friends could be so different.

“Hey do you mind if I ask you something?”

“nah, shoot.”

“Its personal though is that okay?”

“I’ll let ya know if it’s not.” I tell her, my interest piqued. I couldn’t imagine someone as mild as her asking me anything too out there. Though it wouldn’t be the first time a human has asked me something along the lines of how life was as a skeleton. Or if I had a dick. I smirked. If this teeny tiny human asked me if I had a dick I think I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from dying from laughter.

May doesn’t notice my internal back-and-forth and it looks like shes gathered up the resolve to ask her question.

“...How come you’ve decided to date a human?” she asks sheepishly.

I’m both relieved and disappointed that she didnt ask what I thought she would. Though, the new question she asks me isnt much of a surprise. People up here weren’t so open-minded and thats fine, it’s not like I cared anyway. The only thing that I wasnt used to was how she said it. Sure she was apologetic as if she knew how the question sounded, but it sounded genuinely curious, instead of condescending or disgusted.

I chuckle at them. “I didnt take ya to be the racist type.” and I still dont, but if she felt like asking me personal questions then I felt like teasing her.

May sputters at the word ‘racist’ and starts and ends several different kinds of apologies all at once. Reminding me of someone else I knew.

“Im joking, no way you could live with lulu an’ be racist. ‘Specially with the way she raves about you.” I say, suppressing a wave of mirth. The poor girl didn’t even know that lulu had called dibs on her.

“O-oh. I didnt know lulu spoke highly of me to everyone…” she trails off and I could practically feel the heat rise to her face through the headset. “But that’s off-topic, the reason I asked was because I figured that humans all looked the same to monsters, since all of the ones I’ve run into have been so unique.”

“Eh, I mean I guess so. Most monsters don’t really gotta preference when it comes to looks. What we care about mostly is who the person is, not some superficial stuff.” Though it wasn’t like I was talking from experience, I haven’t had any interest in anyone so far and I don’t see that happening in the near future.

May hums at that “Yeah that makes sense, I don’t know I just figured monsters would find humans boring in comparison. It’s cool to know that monsters are cool about that sorta thing.”

I hummed at that. Huh, looks like Lulu might have a chance with her one day then. “ We don’t worry bout half the stuff that you humans do apparently. All that matters is that the couple is a good match.” I shrug involuntarily, forgetting that I’m sitting in the living room by myself. While all of this is true I don’t add in the fact that I dont feel any compatibility with Emily. at all. I didn’t need to see her soul to know that her trait was probably perseverance. Because she doesn’t know when to let things go. I finish what I start though so I’ll see this through.

I take this opportunity to directing her attention back to the game by booting her ass off the screen, sending jiggly puff flying into oblivion. May groans at the outcome as she gets lowered back into the ring immediately attacking while she still has her invincibility frames.

“Now it’s my turn to ask a question.” Might as well since she started it.

“Is this going to be a thing now? Trading questions?”

“Aint that fair? Information for information? Not like im gunna ask anything weird like you do.”

May grumbles under her breath at the teasing. “Okay sure,”

“Do humans enjoy bein’ difficult as fuck?” I ask, still admittedly fuming over this morning. As peaceful as playing a fighting game ironically conflict-free was, I still couldn't get over the fact that she blew up because I refused to let her win just cus she wanted me to.

May hums in thought for a moment before piping back up. “do you mean all humans or just Emily?” she doesn’t ask accusingly, if anything it sounded understanding.

Damn. Had I been that obvious? “What gave you that idea?” I ask sarcastically.

“At least your honest, If this is about the smash thing then yeah this was bound to happen at some point, though she usually does this further into the relationship. If it wasnt smash then it wouldve been something else. You just have to let her win every now and then and you guys will be fine.”

Listening to her, she sounds like a tired parent that knows their kid is rowdy but loves them anyway. Though the part about just giving her whatever she wants doesn’t sit right with me and from the looks of it she expects this of her best friend too. Once again im confused as to why theyre friends with each other.

“Huh.”

“Okay I guess it’s my turn”

“Not like we actually gotta take turns.”

“Besides videogames what other stuff are you into? Or at the very least what other kinds of games.” she asks grudgingly as she gets booted off the screen again.

I sigh, another talk about hobbies. Productive hobbies. Paps has been on my absence-of-an ass about it since I made it up to the surface. “Not really? Not unless ya include reviewing food, in which case I mean goin’ to grillby’s exclusively n’ grabbing a burger.”

“Oo grillby’s? Ive had their food once it was pretty good. Though lulu started a food fight with me before we could finish the fries.”

A surprised laugh came out of me with a stutter. “Ya-ya used his fries as ammunition?” I was horrified at the waste of such good food, but the absurd image of lulu getting smacked in the face with a fry had me bawling.

I needed to catch my breath, I was laughing so hard that I wasn’t intaking any ambient magic, and I could feel my ribs creaking. “Hoo. Holy shit. I’m gonna have to tell grillby that you thought his fries were fry-tful.”I don’t miss the quiet laughing on the other end.

“Hey! Don’t tell him, I don’t want him to hate me before I even get to meet him.” She pleads, but its lighthearted and I can hear the mirth behind it.

“Fry me a river, not like he wouldn’t recognize the human who stood on his couch at the party. I think you’re forgetting that damn near every monster saw those videos by now.”

May gasps “That was grillby’s house? I thought that was fuko and her father’s house.”

I sit there silent on the other end of my headset and hold my head in my palms.”youre telling me you didn’t know that fuko was his daughter?”

“no, why would I?”

“so you were in the house an’ just didn’t see all of the family pictures with ‘em in it?”

“I mean I was sort of…indisposed”

That was a understatement to say the least, briefly remembering having to carry her unconscious-self home. “look, Fuko is a fire elemental right?” I ask trying to hold in my mirth.

“Uh, yeah I guess.”

“And the name grillby’s never rose any flags? Ya know, the only other fire elemental monster in the area?”

“Hey! I dont just go around assuming things, plus it’s not like I know every monster in Ebott.” She huffs but I could hear her embarrassment.

“Well every monster definitely knows you.” I say “ time fries when yur drunk as fuck” I guffawed into the mic now. Not caring if she’s punching my character closer and closer to the edge of the map. She would have to send me flying at least three times before I wouldnt be able to recover the score.

“I guess you could say my relationship with alcohol is on the rocks” She sighs, but I could hear the subtle upturn of her voice in expectation of my reaction.

I sat there stock-still before it hits me that she’s making a pun. The fuck? Usually, I had people get pissed off or straight up ignore me when I made puns but this was a first. Even the people who laughed at them rarely threw one back. My grin widens, the game completely forgotten.

“I guess echowine couldn’t cure your ale-ments?”

“Unfortunately, drinking makes me absinthe-minded.” they say smugly. I felt my grin slip at that. If only she knew just how absent-minded she actually was that night. Not that telling her that was any of my business but that reminds me, there was a certain rat that needed to receive a few ro-DENTS.

“Heh.”

“Oh? Is that it? I guess I win then!” she seems so proud of herself. Usually I would have last word in any kind of pun war but I just didn’t feel it right now after the unintentional reminder.

“Nah, I’m just drained but know in the next one I’m not gonna go easy on ya.”

“Psh, as if. We both know you didn’t have any more up your sleeve.”

“And here I thought short people were more down to earth.” I grinned as I waited for her reaction. And to her credit, she doesn’t start her rant like she did last time but I still hear the muffled enraged groan. I don’t hold back my laughter, having still got the reaction I wanted.

“Potshots are a low blow,” she says after a moment.

Once again I’m at a loss for words, she really just made a pun at the expense of herself? She deserves a round of applause. “You know what. You don’t tell anyone I let you win a pun war and I won’t tell grillby about you using your fries as starchy projectiles.”

“Deal.”

“Well, this has been fun but I got something I need ta attend to.”

“Alright, you feel like playing again another day?”

I pondered that for a minute. I hadn’t expected to talk to her again after the first meeting and now it seemed like she was going to stick around for as long as Emily was. Though if she was offering to help me kill time then I guess that works out too.

“Yeh, sure.”

“Nice, now I’ll finally have a gaming buddy. Well, I’m going to head out too. have a good one.”

May leaves the party and I turn off my headphones. Was she saying that she didnt have anyone willing to play with her before? What about Emily? Thinking back, I’m pretty sure Emily had the same kind of console, though then again maybe she just wanted someone to play smash with. I could understand not asking Emily to play that one.

Im thinking too hard about this, it doesn’t even matter. What does matter is that I needed to catch a rat. It’s not even for personal reasons, I need to beat that rat’s ass on principle alone. It had been a while since I felt any real sense of duty. Maybe it’s because it wasn’t hard to see that not all humans were shitty.

I did a once over of the living room, seeing that it wasn’t a mess. I slid into my shoes lacing them up. I don’t miss the slippers I wore through the underground, It took more energy to focus on keeping the floppy ass things on my feet than just going barefoot. So I would be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate the availability of shoes that could lace on. Unlike the majority of the shoes I owned, his pair wasn’t fancy or anything just some worn-out brown leather work shoes.

I did a once over of myself and made sure I wasn’t wearing anything I particularly liked. Loose dark jeans and a deep red long sleeve shirt. Nope, I’m good. Though it would be good to pull on my gloves, I hated having to scrub blood out from between tight joins and crevices.

Teleporting out into a dead-end alleyway that I knew was close to the community of monsters that housed larger families. Lulu’s family lived here, so did the dog monsters and the family of rats that needed to be held responsible for their fuck-up relative.

I stepped out of the alleyway and caught a confused look of a passerby. A blue rabbit monster who probably lived in the area. Judging by his face he knew the alley was a dead-end then. I didn’t linger in that spot and continued on my way, nonchalantly making myself apart of the foot traffic on the sidewalk.

It had been a while since I’ve been on a walk that I wasn’t forced to take. The last time Paps really forced me to had been what? A month ago? Whenever it was that I met Emily. I frowned, but I shrugged it off. Welp, at least Paps would be happy that I spent my time being more productive.

I make my way into the gated community. Not many monsters bat an eye to me being there, but the few who do hurry along to wherever it is they’re headed. I guess not everyone has forgotten my title. Which would make this easier. I step up to one of the fenced-off areas within the already enclosed neighborhood. Most of these families owned land of their own in this community, and usually included multiple houses which the whole family shared. It reminded me of a bubble within a bubble the way they chose to have this set up. Even though to most monsters it might look weird to put your house behind bars I couldn’t hold it against them to want to keep the outside world out. Though that wouldn’t be helping them today.

Even though I’m here on business and could just as easily teleport in, that shouldn’t be necessary. I rang the buzzer that was mounted onto the side of the gate and it didn’t take long for someone to answer. It sounded rowdy on the other end, like cheering and chattering.

“Hello?” It sounded like a child on the other end. This is awkward.

“Heya there,”

“Who are you?” they ask their tiny high pitched voice barely rising over the commotion in the background.

“I’m red, can ya let me in?”

“I dont like red! Blue is better! And my aunty said not to talk to strangers!”

“Well then can you get your aunty?”

“She’s not home right now.”

“ then can ya go get a...grownup?” my patience was wearing thin, and the prospect of showing common courtesy and not barging in felt more and more stupid as time passed by.

“Yeah! “ the kid barely moves away from the intercom or lets go of the button and I am met with the skull-splitting yell asking for their uncle Tony.

“WHAT!”

“There’s someone asking to be let in!”

“Who? That bastard benny? Tell him he still owes me fifty bucks.”

“No its not him, they say theyre red! But red is boring.”

Listening in I could hear the background noise die off and there’s static as the kid lets go of the intercom button. Finally looks like I’m getting somewhere.

A brief moment later the intercom hums to life, only sending me silence and the scratchy static filled echo of the intercom. “Is this who I think it is?” they ask grimly.

“Depends, that kid still around?”

“Theyre not.”

“Then yeah.”

There is a tense silence, and then the gate buzzes open. “I’m in the house to the right, the head of the family isn’t home right now but I’m second in line.”

That is all they say and that’s all I need. When the head of the family wasn’t there, then all big decisions were made by the runner up till they got back. Of the five houses on this property, the one he directed me to was the second largest. The house was pretty standard to the rest of our communities, the only differences were the few custom touches here and there on the wooden railings to the porch.

I stepped up to the door and knocked twice. The door opens and I’m met with a rat monster that’s a few inches taller than me, who looked like they lift for a living. When they look me in the eyes I see a silent defiance.

“Dont gotta be so tense, ‘s not like I’m gonna kill anybody.” I shrug.

They don’t say anything and stand aside to let me in. Regarding me like a threat. I walk in front of him with my hands in my pockets aimlessly walking into the foyer, fully aware of just how close they are and what their intentions are. Though they don’t stay behind me for long and begin to lead me into a room.

I follow them into what looks like the living room. The large flatscreen t.v. is the only source of light in the room, and although it’s muted it looks like they had been watching human wrestling on it before I got here. The room is fairly large but it feels small with just how many other monsters were in it. Some were standing along the far wall, while others were sitting in dining room chairs turned backwards. I don’t keep my eyes on them directly but I do watch them from my peripheral as I follow Tony.

They take a seat on the sofa and I follow suit taking the loveseat that allowed me to have my back to the wall. It’s a good thing I didn’t just teleport in, there’s too many monsters in here to hide my ability, and if pandemonium happened, I wouldn’t be able to find who I was looking for.

“We sorta expected you to show up at some point,” Tony said.

“So I dont need ta explain the situation?” because I honestly didn’t feel like going through the motions and I hoped that this could be quick and easy. Though I am taking a different approach to how I usually do things.

Tony shakes his head, “nah, I’m clear on the situation I wanna know more about the outcome of all of this” He looks me in the eyes with this dead serious look, like he’s trying to get a read on me.

“Whaddya mean?”

“like are you planning on clearing out a good chunk of the family or are you just passing out judgment like you did back then. ”

There was movement and bristling from behind him, the younger monsters looking ready for a fight, while the older ones watched cautiously with poker faces.

It took a moment for me to understand just what they meant. I let out a exasperated sigh and leaned all the way back into the love seat. Why did I think this was going to be fast? I’m already exhausted. If he was talking about what I think he was, both of those options meant death for somebody. The only difference was just how many people were going to die.

“Didnt I say I wasnt gonna kill anybody. We’re on the surface now, no ones has to dust anyone anymore. N’ for the record, that wasn’t me that wanted to clear out families.” I leveled tony with a tired look, and he seemed to understand even if he didn’t look any less defensive.

“Where is he.” I ask cutting to the chase.

Tony rose from his seat and looked down at me.I could feel his magic in the air before he could think about releasing it. I remained comfortably in my seat and matched his gaze. I grinned up at him, if he was around when I was still passing judgment then he should know not to try anything stupid. I let magic charge around me into the open air at his subtle act of dominance.

At this a few of the rat monsters stood. ”You know this is starting to piss me off.” I tell him.

Surprisingly enough it wasn’t Tony who acted first but one of the younger rat monsters, wielding what I thought was a bat and charged past tony. I had already summoned a volley of bones, all crooked and sharpened and enough to not only skewer the younger monster but the entire room but right when I was about to release them tony snatched the collar of the monster who really wanted to become a shish-kabob. The monster pinwheeled to the ground hard, losing the grip on the bat that he held. Looking at him now I could see he was barely a matured monster, only just now coming into his magic probably.

Tony shot the peanut gallery a glare. “I don’t need anyone stepping in.” he seethes. He briefly regarded bones that stay there suspended mid-air before he withdraws his magic. He snatches the young monster by the collar and hefts him up to his feet and shoves him back over to where he had been standing by the wall. “Stuart, I’ll deal with you later,”

Tony points to two seated rodent monsters who looks considerably older. “you two go get Marco.”

Without so much as a word they do, but not without their wary glances. I am reminded that my bones were still summoned and let them dissipate into red smoke, which falls instead of disappearing upwards. Leaving a thick rolling carpet of blood red smoke that quickly spreads across the floor like spilt wine on a white rug.

The subtle reminder seems to keep any of the younger ones from wanting to try anything else, at least for now.

“While were waiting on ass face to get here lets discuss some things.”

Tony nods.

“First off are all of the kids out of the house?”

“Yeah,”

“Good, and where do you want this to happen at. I don’t like a mess and this is gunna be a bitch for you guys to have ta clean so if you wanna choose a place in the house that’s…” I look down on the carpeted floors.

“Easier to mop, we should head there”

Tony doesn’t respond and just gives me a disgusted look just as the offending creature were talking about is led into the room in the middle of that sentence and they freeze in the doorway.

I rolled up my sleeves and stood. A few of the monster’s eyes lingered on the deep scarring on my arms and fractures mended with gold. “Might wanna move him before he pisses himself,” I tell them sarcastically. ‘Marco’ looked like he’s looking at death himself.

Another monster frantically comes around the corner, they’re taller than Marco but they have the same color fur and texture unlike the others that sport different colors.

“What’s going on? Why do you need Marco?” They take in the tense atmosphere and finally see me standing here on the other side of the room and look wide eyed from Marco, tony and me.

I look over to Tony and raise a browbone didn’t everyone know already? Though he’s decidedly not looking at me. “Joey, you don’t need to know. things are fine here head back to the other house and we’ll get you when things are cleared up.”

“If things are fine why does everyone look like they're about to kill somebody?” joey yells.

I sigh pressing my thumb and forefinger against the space above my nasal cavity. I thought I didn't have to explain this.

“LOOK. I.” I point at myself. “Am here to beat HIS” I point at Marco “ASS. He tried to rape a human at one of Fuku’s parties and even if it wasn't a HUMAN who coulda had us all persecuted. Which woulda been ALL our asses. It’s still ATTEMPTED RAPE, and if I didn’t stop the dickhead then he would’ve gone through with it”

“SO! All of ya’s can stop with the pussyfooting around because I'm getting FUCKIN IMPATIENT. And I’ve been real cordial so fuckin’ far.”

The room is silent and when I look at everyone I'm almost surprised to see that a good handful of them were staring angrily at Marco. Who looks speechless and ashamed.

“is…is that true?” Joey asks quietly looking like he was in shock more than anything. Marco looks around the room seeming to gauge everyone’s reactions before his eyes fell on tony. I could tell if he was trying to figure out if he could get away with lying about it but the look tony gave him seemed to tell him everything that he needed to know. He averts his eyes from joey and nods.

Abruptly Joey goes from shock to rage and decks Marco, slugging him so hard that it sends him flying against the back of the couch. Marco let out a yelp and cradled his cheek.

I stand there honestly surprised that this was the reaction I was getting. I figured that with them being family and all they would share the same lax morals or at least have them ask me to take it easy on him. Looks like that isn’t the case.

“So youre just gunna be disgusting to some girl, then you're gonna lie to your family about just how bad it actually was? You told ME that you had just hit on some human and that they took it the wrong way. Not that you were trying to get your dick wet by...by...” The monster is shaking now. Joey lowers his voice looking like he was trying to reel in his anger. “was it the human at lulu’s?” he asks, he seems to know the answer already though by the look he’s giving him but he must be hoping that he’s wrong. That hope he had on his face slowly died as he watched marco struggle to find the right words looking for an excuse that didn’t exist.

He strides over and grabs Marco by the collar hoisting him up and drags him out of the room. “I know the place.” he says coldly.

In the wake of the interaction between the two, the room is dead silent. Tony doesn’t hesitate to stride out of the room to follow them. The movement seems to get everyone back into action, everyone trickling to follow them out but not without some weariness or pent up aggression sent my way when they have to walk by me. I followed them from behind. The anger I felt has subsided some now that I see his family isn't going to take any of this bullshit and downplay it. Doesn't mean I'm not still pissed about it, just means that I don't have to pretend like I DON’T want to dust this idiot.

The group is led into what looks like an unfinished-basement. I’m leading up the rear checking my surroundings to make sure I'm not being boxed in, in case this is some dumb idea to try and corner me in an attempt to keep their jackass family member from being pummeled. Doesn't look like that's the case though, instead Marco is thrown into the center of the room while the rest of them stand around him.

“I know it was wrong, I didn't even know what I was doing until after the party. She wasn't giving me any signs that she didn't like it when we were dancing.”

I sneered at him, a rumble starting up of a beginning of a growl. So he was lying again, that was the route he wanted to take. “So, her telling you that she doesn't want to, and you dragging her somewhere ‘quiet’ is a-okay huh?”

Marco shrinks in on himself. Tail wrapping around their body.

“Yeah. reeaal forgetful. I guess you didn't realize I saw it all happen before I even asked you what you were up to.” I grin down at him, feeling like yeah If I’m not careful I’ll dust him.

While the monsters in the room might be pissed at him, they also bristle when they feel my magic roll off me.

“I’m done waiting.” I say as I step over to him summoning a bone club in a swirl of red smoke.

There are three or four monsters that look about ready to jump in front of Marco to shield him at my approach despite what had happened in the living room prior, Marco was still family. I shoot them a glare and they back off, then I shoot a heavy glance to Tony. He nods.

“If you can't handle it, get out, but this has to happen. If his HP dips too low ill intervene.” Tony says, his words are weighted. I know that it was a veiled threat that while he’s allowing this to happen without conflict, he will attack me if he thinks ill kill him.

I grin at him in a sardonic way, an open invitation to start some dumb shit. Rat monsters barely had magic, Id lay that meathead out before he rose his first at me and he knows it.

No one leaves, and I don’t stop. I kick Marco hard in the upper chest. Sending him flying from his crouched position to splayed out on his back. I stomp down on his thigh and grind down on it. Marco is already screaming.

“We’re doing things different so I’ll give you the courtesy of telling you how this is gonna go.” I tap the side of his face with the club. “Even though you deserve it. You're not gonna die today, but i’ll make sure you’ll wanna” I grind my foot down on his leg and I feel something snap then crunch.

He wails and starts to gurgle on his own saliva when I don't stop grinding my foot onto his shattered leg. “Now.” I stop grinding into it to look up at the group. “I don’t want any of you guys to heal him when I’m done. We clear?” Two monsters already look sick but other than that everyone seems to be in silent understanding.

I lift my foot off his leg and he starts heaving not knowing whether to hold his leg or not touch it. His hands trembling right above the wound. He’s shooting pleading looks around at everyone for help but no one moves to give him any. He shoots a begging glance to Tony who just looks down at him coldly and shakes his head.

Marco’s face fills with dread coming to realize that there isn't any way out of this. I don't give him enough time to fully recover and Bring my bone club down on his shoulder.

He tries to scramble away from the pain but it becomes readily apparent that there’s nowhere to go. I swing the club to hit him in the ass. “If you wanna make this last longer than it needs to it’s just gonna make this worse.”

I’ve been really holding back too, I shake my head and decide to get to work. I step on his tail just hard enough to keep it in place but not crush it. Yet. I swing the club down on his lower leg, right at the back of his ankle and I could hear a satisfying crunch. From the gagging I could hear from the corner of the room seems like everyone else could hear it too. “Look now if you can be ‘man’ enough to try and force yourself on someone, you should be man enough to handle this,” I say over the screaming and his blubbering.

I swing the club again this time crushing the hand he was using the hold himself up on. I could feel the crunch of bone through my club more than hear it this time. The room is filled with is whimpers and wails. I hear retreating footsteps run up the stairs and the door slam. I side-eye it to make sure it was an occupant of this room and not some nosy kiddo who didn't need to see this. Satisfied I begin to hold the bone like a stake. bone now pointing to the ground and I begin to smash his tail from tip to base as he squirms, writhes and screeches. His blood begins to splatter in tiny flecks, the translucent iridescent stuff making goopy stains in the concrete.

“Stop moving so much or your tail will come off completely dumbass.” not that I cared what he did. Not like he was gunna listen to me anyway while I'm systematically crushing his bones.

Done with the club I unsummon it. I step off his decimated tail and pick him up by the collar of his shirt that’s seeping blood from the impact wound on his shoulder. I frowned, it was a good thing I remembered to wear gloves the lustrous color was hard to see against my bones and I didn’t want to spend hours trying to figure out if I got it all off.

I look him over and decide that while I've inflicted quite a few wounds on him already most of them would be pretty hidden. I rear back and punch him in the face a few times for good measure, he tries to block but with one hand already broken the attempt is feeble at best.

I punch him a few more times not holding back. The sound of water hitting the bare concrete makes me pause. There’s no way I'm making him bleed THAT much most of the wounds I made shouldnt have even cut him.

Looking down I see that besides the blood dripping from his tail there's little to none of it. The sound of water hitting the concrete was coming from him pissing himself. Which was puddling alarmingly close to my shoes. I toss him away from me, feeling like that was enough anyway.

Looking around the room the only monsters who stayed till the end were Tony and the monster that had decked Marco earlier.

The monster looks at me questioningly almost to ask me if I'm done. I nod at him.

“When the head of the household gets back, explain what happened. What REALLY happened.”

“Ill handle it, but he should understand.”

I give the writhing sobbing mess on the floor another look and I nod. I’m surprised he didn’t pass out. “Don’t heal ‘im. At all. If there’s internal problems, give em monster candy.”

that should be fair enough, he shouldn't die from any of the wounds but monster candy should keep him from dying without fixing any of the surface wounds. Meaning ugly here will have to sport around his trophies for being a dumbass.

I don't stay any longer and turn to leave having done what I set out to do. I head back up the stairs and see the crowd of monsters have congregated in a somber mood around the t.v. again. It’s still muted though and no one seems to be watching it. I don't linger and leave out the front door. Looks like there’s the kids playing over in the yard behind one of the houses. Yelling and shrieking while they play. It sounds so at odds with the screaming and wailing from just a moment ago.

Seeing that i'm not really in sight and the kids aren't paying me any mind, I get ready to teleport. But before I do I notice I’m not alone on the porch. Standing by the door is the younger Rat monster who tried to lunge at me earlier. I kept up my indifferent demeaner, but I watched him closely. I didn’t feel like killing today but I wasn’t above it if they wanted to be dumb and try and attack after they’ve been given not one but two warnings.

“You’re going to regret coming here. We’re on the surface now right? we’re free to do whatever we dreamed of, and you’re still acting like you can tell us what we can and cant do.”

I stared down at him the spindly brown Rat monster trying to muster up a pitiable display of magic. I doubted if they could even form bullets. “Listen, I don’t know what kind of fucked up dreams you had where you thought shit like this was gonna fly but that ain’t happening.” I leaned in and grinned at the monster “and last time I checked asgore never took my title, but if you want I could just go to him with the issue instead. But that would mean a whole branch of your family would disappear after being treated a whole lot worse than Marco.” I drop my grin because the reality of it was that I would be the one doing the dirty work.

Stuart leaned away from me, his flimsy intimidation falling short when he couldn’t keep the fear off his face. He at least gives himself the credit of not trembling and heads back inside.

Sighing I light a half-finished cigar to make sure I’m truly alone pulling hard on it and exhaling the red smoke. This was so much better than cigarettes. When it dwindles down to a nub I stubbed it out and shoved it into my pocket rather than flick it. The last thing I needed was for some kid to find it and get curious.

I do a final check and decide that no one was watching and teleport home. When I get there Pap’s is home and he’s unpacking is training gear. He doesn't stop what he’s doing and side-eyes me as I settle in myself. Peeling off my gloves and taking off my shoes and setting them outside the door.

“EVENTFUL DAY?” he asks raising a browbone at me.

“You could say that.” I shrug.

Chapter Text

Hello everyone, due to some circumstances there isn't an update. with the combination of all us going on vacation and a few shitty things I found out today that have me feeling like a dog turd in a flash flood. I won't be able to deliver this chapter by tomorrow. I'll only be on vacation for a week so I should have this ready by Monday or Tuesday of that week. I am sorry for the inconvenience! I appreciate everyone sticking with me even though I update slow, but I hope everyone stays safe out there.

Was reading bookmarks and there’s some confusion about red/sans. This is a underfell fic, unfortunately there aren’t any blue boys here only red. He goes by his real name sometimes I’m sorry for the confusion I’m still new at tagging.

Chapter Text

I fumbled the book I was reading at the sound of my phone buzzing angrily in my lap. My book smacks the hardwood floor when I don’t manage to catch it. I sigh when I see that the book landed closed, losing my place in the book.

I looked over to my phone to see that Emily was calling, her grinning face lighting up the entire screen from some goofy picture we took together ages ago.

“Hey emil-“

“May! Oh my god may. I’m fucking pissed.” She spits, I snap my mouth shut and wait for her to continue. “ He refuses to do anything at all intimate. Even after we made up it’s even worse between us now.”

“Wait what, I thought you guys were fine before what do you mean things are worse?”

Emily lets out a exasperated groan “That’s just the thing! Usually after an argument almost every other guy takes it if I offer. But he won’t even touch me now let alone kiss me!”

I grimaced. I didn’t think I would be talking about sex so early in the day, even if the sex-life in question wasn’t my own I still hated talking about it in depth. Luckily, Emily hadn’t gone into any explicit details like she normally does. A part of me was glad that things hadn’t taken the route it normally did for her in her relationship. I was tired of seeing her relationships end just because her partners decided that they got what they wanted so there was no reason to stick around. So, while it sucks that Emily is feeling inconvenienced, I’m thankful that sans doesn’t seem to be the type to be motivated only by his libido. Not like I got that feeling from him anyway though.

“isn’t that a good thing?” I ask cautiously not really seeing the issue, her track record was to burn bright and fast and her relationships never got enough air to breathe because of it. Maybe this would give them a chance to learn more about each other-

“May.” She says seriously, derailing my train of thought. “I haven’t been fucked in over two months! It’s a PROBLEM”

I floundered for a response, the unwanted memories from when I was her roommate resurfaced and I cringed as I did my best to shove my memories back into the vault where they belonged.

Emily continues to talk about how sans refuses to be intimate in any form from kissing to holding hands to hugging. Hugging is the worst, he straight up dodges them like I’m dirty or something.”

I had to admit that was sort of weird, but maybe he was still mad about the whole argument thing. I’ve been on the other end of one of her fits a few times and I knew how bad it could be, if that was the case then him wanting to get a little distance was normal.

“Emily, not everyone likes to be physical you know. If you cant be physical yet then take this time to get to know each other it’ll make the whole thing better wouldn’t it?”

“May, you cant give me that speech when you haven’t even tried it yourself.” She sighs.

I curled into myself on the couch, pulling my knees up to my chest. I already knew where this was going.

“Every man has his needs and if you don’t show him something, he might lose interest. Even if Scott is a sweetheart, he’s still a man hon.”

I didn’t speak on my doubt, having witnessed myself just how many of her partners have come and gone from her life. All suspiciously leaving not long after she gives me the details of how the night with them went.

“we’re both happy where we are in our relationship,” I tell her and the sound on the other end sounds skeptical at best. “not that I want to get too much into this but it’s not like we haven’t done NOTHING…he just really respects my comfort zone. “ I trace a finger over the scar on my abdomen that poked out from under my shirt.

“Oh? What did you two do! How come you never told me anything!” I could hear her overwhelming enthusiasm and I’m extremely glad she wasn’t in the room with me right now and I’m safe from the onslaught of her emotions behind the receiver of my phone.

Unfortunately, that also meant that I couldn’t use her emotions to distract myself from my own embarrassment. “we..we were in his bed.” The rising heat on my face was becoming unbearable.

“yeah?” she asks eagerly trying to prod me to continue.

“and we were kissing…”

“and?”

“ we were kissing a lot?”

Emily groans dramatically. “that was the biggest tease of my entire life. We’re adults May, kissing is no big deal compared to everything else.”

“well, it’s a big deal for me-”

“so lets talk about a line of attack for getting into our boyfriend’s pants. Scott is easier but I need you to do some reconnaissance and talk to sans.”

Now it was my turn to groan, while sure I’ve talked to some of her significant others before it’s different now because sans was pretty chill and I didn’t feel like I needed to interrogate him further like I did to the others. I had hoped he could be a potential friend to hangout with, but maybe that was too optimistic with them just starting out in their relationship. If things went wrong then It would be weird to continue to talk to him.

“fine but the LAST thing I’m going to discuss with him about is if he wants to ‘bone’ you.” I smirk at that but Emily didn’t seem to catch the pun to my disappointment.

“okay fine, but if he tells you anything good you have to tell me.”

I doubt we would ever dive into any topic that would constitute of what she thinks as ‘good’. “It’s a promise,” if I found out anything gross then the first person I would unload that on would be her, if I find out anything particularly graphic then I would hold Emily solely responsible. “but if I have to put the work in then you’d better too.”

“oh I will,” Though the suggestive tone of her voice led me to squint at the phone. I had doubts that we were both on the same page.

I sighed, “goodbye Emily,” I hung up and rested my forehead on my knees. I glanced down at the abandoned book and reached down to pick it back up, I didn’t feel like reading anymore. I stood with my phone in hand and book in the other, making my way back to my room. Looking through my contacts or the lack thereof I tried to decide if I was close enough with sans to call him.

I didnt know why but the house that had once felt cozy and peaceful now seemed too still and empty. As much as I didn’t like the talk with Emily, I really wanted the company. It was times like this where I wish I could just call Scott, and for a moment my finger hovered over the button before thinking better of it and calling Lulu instead.

***

I am sitting in my car with my head on the steering wheel trying to take in a settling breath and failing. I didn’t know why I was having so much trouble with this, all I needed to do was call and invite may over for dinner. simple enough right? Not like we were strangers or anything. My mind drifted off to how I would do it exactly and my mind would blank. I regretted mentioning May to Adeline, because now she won’t drop it. When I had told my older sister that I had hired someone to help out with the shop I had let it slip that she was human.

So naturally she started grilling me about what she was like and her character and if she could be trusted with the shop. My dumbass went and said the first thing that came to mind. How she was this cute little dense human that couldn’t even see the racism towards monsters let alone be racist herself.

Maybe I didn’t use those exact words but I might as well have, considering the look she gave me. looking like a cat that caught the canary. Things had only gotten worse when one of my little cousins ran over to show her some of the videos from the party. So, when she saw May guzzling alcohol like a burly ass man without breaking a sweat it would have been no surprise to anyone in the room if the baby had popped out of her in her fit of raucous laughter. What I had been surprised about though was that she had managed not to piss herself in the process.

So now I had the task of inviting her over to dinner. which should’ve been easy, I mean I do have her number now. I could easily just text her. I squeezed my ears in frustration, not hard enough to hurt but hard enough to focus more on the discomfort instead of my building nervousness. Since when does something like this make me of all people nervous? monsters respected my family and I made sure to act in a way to ensure that. I rose my head from the steering wheel abruptly trying to bolster my confidence. Nothing got me flustered so why was I-

Movement caught my attention. It’s the tiny plushie that May had made me, which swung gently on the keychain. My face heated up at the sight of it. Realizing that I had just brought my keys into the house for everyone to see. I didn’t have to worry about my younger siblings caring so much, but Adeline…. She would have noticed.

I throw my head back against the head rest of my seat. That explained the look she kept giving me, and why she keeps insisting I invite her over. Which wouldn’t be a problem, except that she was a human and honestly, I was just plain worried. My family could be overwhelming to the average monster and that was saying a lot. Plus there were so many of us, and I don’t know how she would take being around that many people.

Glancing down at the little plushie that she had left out for me, I could see little details here and there that made it undeniable that it was made in my image. I smacked my forehead on the steering wheel again trying in a futile effort to bump the embarrassment off my face.

I pompfed my head on the steering wheel one last time, cursing that a human could be this sweet and this stupid. Why couldn’t she be some normal racist human. Every monster could handle that. The memory of coming home late, or tired only to find a plate in the fridge wrapped up with a note on it. Living away from my family had been difficult but with plans to expand our business one day it was necessary. Though it didn’t make it any less lonely. When I first became her roommate I would be lying If I said I hadn’t been skeptical, but she hadn’t given me any bad vibes and the more money I didn’t have to spend on food could be used for the shop. Even though me and may hadn’t talked so much she always made sure to make me feel welcomed, and if I was being honest with myself she was the reason why the house I lived in felt more like home. I sighed, her being racist and cruel didnt even fit into what may was capable of. I leaned back into my seat the blaring horn subsiding now that I wasn’t smacking my head into it.
I fish out my phone and look through my recent calls to find her number. It was no big deal, just ask her if she wanted to come over for dinner and meet my entire family, no problem. While I am agonizing over pressing the button my phone goes off instead, ringing in my palm. I let out an undignified yelp summoning my magic in a fit of unbridled nerves. Only to calm down, realizing that the number was may’s and that she was calling me instead. At this realization my nerves gave way back to panic again.

Picking up the call I breathed and tried to collect myself. “I thought you said you weren’t a mind reader.” I say, my voice coming off a lot more upset than I wanted it to.

“huh?” she says sounding completely confused. “yeah, I’m not. Everything okay?”

If only she knew. “it’s nothing, you called me right when I was about to dial you.”

“oooh nice we must be getting close if we’re thinking the same.” She says with a light laugh.

I could feel the tension lift some at the sound of it, and I laughed some myself. “yeah I guess that’s true. So, whats up?”

“oh, um I had a question about someone, and I was wondering if you knew anything about them.”

“well you’re the only human I know so I doubt I’d be much help.”

May is quiet on the other end for a moment before she continues. “well…they aren’t human.” She says gingerly.

I felt my ears twitch at that. She wanted to know more about another monster. I don’t think she’s ever asked me anything about monsters in particular let alone about a specific person. I let out a curious hum “depending on what the questions are that shouldn’t be a problem,”

“so…um do you happen to know a skeleton monster named sans?”

My eyebrows rose at that, why was she asking about him of all people. My eyes narrowed “why is he bothering you?”

“wha- nono! I was just wondering what he was like was all,”

She must have remembered him from the party, or the very least him bringing her home. “oh if you’re worried about the whole thing where you were drunk off your ass you don’t have to worry about him having tried anything. he’s not the type to get handsy with people who aren’t into it. But let me know if he tries to and I’ll go snap a few bones.”

May is silent for what feels like too long before I could hear her usual flustered string of aborted questions. I listen as she tries to sort out what to ask first. “wait so sans brought me home? I thought Fuko did!”

“I assumed you knew! So, if this wasn’t about that then is it possible that sans is the first monster youre interested in?” I ask her teasingly, though I really did not want her to have any sort of affection towards him of all people. He wasn’t the worst guy out there but he wasn’t good news either. Even though my family didn’t have any bad run-ins with him, his reputation was still well known. I felt my soul uncomfortably swirl when she didn’t answer immediately.

“sorry, I was just shocked. I’ve been worried about how I got home for a while now. I’m relieved nothing happened.” Her voice sounds so relaxed and calm and somehow it soothes the near painful feeling in my soul too. “but to answer your question I only have eyes for Scott, that goes for human or monster” She says cheerfully. Though her upbeat tone doesn’t sound all that sincere.

I wanted to scoff. She might as well have been dating a trash can, hell a trash can would give her more attention than he does. From what I’ve seen she just stares wistfully at her phone for hours, and I’m getting tired of seeing her look so….miserable. I just don’t know how she has been managing this whole time . For us not being around our mate or partner for long periods of time physically hurt us, and I wonder if it’s the same thing for humans but just not in the same way considering how drained may looks after waiting up for a text.

“too bad and here I thought you were trying to dip your toes in the monster experience.” I tell her teasingly earning an actual genuine laugh from may. Gathering up all my will power I decide to say fuck it and go for it. “speaking of the ‘monster experiencce’ my sister wanted me to invite you over for dinner tonight.”

When may calms down from my goading she hums. “oh? She wants to meet me?”

“yeah, since you work at the store with me and all.”

“would it be okay for me to meet her while she’s… expecting?” she asks, seeming to look for the right word to use instead of pregnant.

“well, she’s with child not terminal so yeah it’d be fine. Plus she would kill me if she doesn’t get to meet you soon.”

“oh! In that case sure thing.”

“Though I do want to let you know, my family is large…like really large by even monster standards. Even though only a small part of my family sits with us at the table there would still be at least a dozen of us there.” I paused, feeling self-conscious about mentioning her ability since it just felt so personal to her. Regardless though I made sure it sounded cool and collected. “I just wanted to make sure you don’t feel forced to go, you would have to be around a lot people all at once for a good amount of time. I don’t want it to feel overwhelming for you is all.”

May is quiet for a moment, it feels like it stretches on forever before she answers. “that’s a good point, but if they’re anything like you I should be fine.” She hesitates again and I could feel another surge of worry, hopefully she doesn’t feel obligated to. “plus, I was in the mood for some company so I’m really glad you offered…or that your sister wants to meet me.”

I let out a sigh, feeling stupid at having thought that May of all people would have felt weird about coming over to a monster dwelling since she lived with me of all people. Even though I was still worried about her being around that many of my relatives, I didn’t speak on it. If may said she could handle it then I’ll just have to trust that she means that.

One of my littler cousins are peering into my car trying to get a peek at me in the dark cabin. No doubt trying to figure out if I’m inside past the tinted windows. Theyre probably trying to see if they could enter it and use my car as a fort or something. To my surprise upon seeing me the knock on the window with a tiny fist and wave me to come out. I guess I had spent too much time out here.

“well we would be glad to have you, that is if you don’t mind the younger ones asking weird questions like why you don’t have fur.”

May chuckles at that “ They can ask me all the questions they want, I dont have anything juicy to hide.”

I chuckled with her, even though I was pretty sure that her powers were definitely considered a big secret. “then youre the perfect guest! But hey, I’m sorry I have to go. We start dinner sorta late but do you mind if I pick you up at eight?”

“that’s fine, do-“ May gets cut off by insistent knocking on the car door window.

“yeah, yeah I’m coming!” I yell at them through the door, which doesn’t seem to bother them at all and they just continue to knock annoyingly on the door. “sorry may I didn’t catch that.”

“don’t worry about it! You go ahead, I’m going to go get ready.”

“alright see you in a bit!” I burst out of my car to glower at my little cousin. “didn’t my uncle teach you not to interrupt adults when they’re talking?” I ask them sternly, before briefly remembering that I never hung up and hurry to do so, feeling embarrassed when I heard may’s soft laughter coming from the other end. I look down at my little cousin who looked startled and ashamed, She fumbled with the button on her overalls, her little feet poking out of the too long pant legs that were bunched up at the bottoms.

“I’m sowwy” she says sadly with a lisp, shes going through her new set of teeth and her front incisors are currently missing.

I sighed, feeling like I was doing a lot of that today. “it’s okay lily,” I tell her taking her hand, “you looked like you needed me for something, can you show me?”

Lily beams sadness forgotten once I started using a softer tone of voice. She nods, dragging me back to the house with her tiny little hand.

***

When May and I arrive in my neighborhood, she seems a polite sort of curious. She wasn’t gawking at our houses or anything but she did look excited. She sat in the passengers seat with what looked like some sort of pastry in her lap. It looked like it could have been a cake considering the container it was in, but it was hard to tell since the cover was too opaque to be sure. Regardless of what it was, I didn’t have the heart to tell her that if it was meant for the whole table it wouldn’t be nearly enough.

“it’s nice here,” she says breaking the silence, still looking out of the window. It’s down and the cooler night air is sweeping through her curly hair.

“yeah it’s pretty nice. A lot of work was put into it. “ I thought about all the bureaucracy that we had to go through, but as much of a pain in the ass that it was to work with the human government a lot of the monsters that lived here could appreciate that there even WAS a process we could take to make things better for ourselves.

Asgore prioritized his own power over his people and was more worried about taking out ‘inconvenient’ monsters and their families than trying to make sure his subjects were happy. So dealing with humans that made it known that they were willing to provide whatever it was that monsters needed so long as they mostly stayed out of the way was still better treatment then we had expected. Even if some humans were more hands on with their beliefs, there hadn’t been any deaths.

It made me feel better that at night we had not one security guard but a team to watch over us. And a main fence around our fairly large community where we built parks and playgrounds for the younger ones that we had always wished we could give them underground. They were all empty now though, the summer sky was already getting dark and all kiddos were home inside of their family enclosures. I really hope that the need to have these gates and fences wouldn’t last generations, I didn’t want the next generation born on the surface to get comfortable of the idea that being trapped in a prison -even a self-built one- was in any way normal.

“Lulu… are you okay?” may asks softly.

Looking at her and her dark eyes framed my furrowed brows. I hadn’t realized that I was clenching the steering wheel, loosening my grip I tried to give her a reassuring smile. Although looking at her expression that felt like she could see through me made me feel like I wasn’t fooling anyone.

“I’m okay, I was just thinking about some heavy stuff.” I really didn’t want to get into it and honestly, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Last thing I needed was to be blamed for blabbing too much about monsters to humans. Even if the human was May.

May looks away and nods, as if she understood. I Slump in my chair in relief. I really did miss the unspoken communication I had with her. Even if it was a little unsettling just how much she seemed to be able to understand just by what she could feel. We pull up to the gate for cars and vehicle visits, one of my other cousins and a human guard sat in the booth. All I had to do was pop my head out of my car window and they buzzed me in.

Pulling into the car port where anyone that had a vehicle parked their cars, I could see may fidgeting in her seat from the corner of my eye. Was she nervous too? Or maybe she was just excited. I glance over at may and see that she’s discretely scratching her arms. She seemed embarrassed about it, it took me a minute to figure out why.

“sorry about that,” I quickly attempted to reign in my curiosity. I tried not to worry too much about the physical aspects of her ability, but I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t concerned about what ‘lina would think of her. I didn’t want to tell may that technically my sister was her boss’s boss but if she really didn’t trust May she could fire her without my say. “are you sure you’re going to be okay in there? I could tell them you’re sick or something.”

May shook her head. “no that’s okay, I just won’t look anyone in the eyes.”

I nodded at that and got out of the car, with may following suit. May is walking beside me clutching her pastry container, she’s looking around at the houses that were all spread out on the plot of land, sidewalks connected all of them together but besides those nothing obstructed the grass. We made our way to the main house where dinner was being held for the older members of the household, it was situated near the far back.

“how come the houses are gated separately from…well some of the other ones?”

I racked my brain for a safe answer without going too in-depth. She didn’t need to know that these families in particular were some of the most influential, but the question seemed harmless enough. “well this one area,” I say gesturing to the fence line that circled my family’s land. “everyone within this area is kin, they’re a brother a sister a cousin…they’re all related.”

May whipped her head around to look at the six houses within the limits of the fence line before looking wide eyed at me. Her eyes focus in on me for a moment and I can tell she’s feeling me out. “you aren’t joking.” She says, almost in awe looking around at the houses again in thoughtful silence.

“most of us with large families just set up our communities like this.” I tell her as we approach the porch of the main house.

The door is unlocked as usual, so I don’t bother knocking and just stroll in with a timid May in tow. She stands just within the threshold of the doorway self-consciously. “Should I take off my shoes?” she asks.

I smile at that, If she knew just how many of the younger ones tracked in dirt grass and whatever else in here she would be begging to keep her shoes on. “nah don’t bother, no one else wears shoes to take off, so no-one’s going to make a fuss about it.” I wiggle my toes to make a point and may nods.

She continues to follow me through the entry hallway and through a few turns. It doesn’t take long before I’m able to hear the general commotion that accompanied almost every dinner we have here. Before we enter the room may stops me.

I pause with one hand on the doorknob to look at her. She looks like a ball of nerves with her eyebrows furrowed and how she’s curled around the pastry container, clutching it like was a lifeline. “what’s wrong.”

“just, do I look okay? Am I overdressed? Underdressed? “she asks timidly, barely over a whisper.

Yeah, she was nervous. I glanced her over, she wore a plain pale blue sundress and nude flats. Her curly black hair was down but the top half was neatly pulled back with a clip. “you look fine,” I say with a shrug. She honestly looked pretty in a simple way.

May takes a settling deep breath and nods. I open the door into the dining room and enter. we were immediately met with a wall of raised voices and laughter. The long dining room table is crammed full of as many that could fit. Adeline sat on the farthermost end opposite of the empty seat that remained in front of us. The commotion begins to peter off almost abruptly when everyone sees May enter the room.

Surprisingly enough May’s nerves have dissipated, even in the wake of everyone staring at her. Instead she seems to be glancing around at everyone before her eyes fall back to her pastry container and frowns. “I didn’t make enough…” I know she doesn’t mean to but her disappointment comes off like a pout her concern earns her a few chuckles here and there.

I patted her reassuringly on the shoulder. “sorry may, you would need a lot more than a few hours to be able to whip up something for all of us.” A few of the guys at the table were laughing more openly now helping break the rare quiet that fell over the room.

“well? You going to make her just stand there or are you going to offer her a seat?” Adeline pipes up. Her black eyes were already watching me and May like a hawk and I knew that even though she was smiling sweetly she was judging every interaction between us both.

I shrug and take the pastry container from her. From the weight of it I really wanted to guess that it was a cake. Glancing around I could see there were only two seats left, one by Adeline and the other at the opposite end of the table. Honestly, neither option was ideal. I didn’t want Adeline asking her weird stuff out of my earshot but on the other hand she would be surrounded by the over eager youngins if I didn’t. Sighing I chose the lesser of two evils and sat her far, far away from my sister before excusing myself to drop off her dessert.

The chatter was beginning to pick back up on my way back into the dining room. With the food already set out in the middle of the table it looked like they had just been waiting on us to begin. Which was unusual since we never had things ready so early. I took my seat by my sister, who then decided to stand instead. Any stray chatter died off immediately when they saw her make her way to her feet. Her mate steadied her as she cradled her baby bump.

“Now that we’re all settled let me make an announcement before we dig in.” She smiles warmly at May from across the table. “thank you for coming, I’m so glad you accepted my invitation,” she glances around at the table and gives them a look that only I knew meant that she was trying to stir up trouble. “now everyone, I want you all to treat our guest just like how you would any other member of the family. Feel free to dig in.” I didn’t miss the devious upturn of her mouth as she sits.

Everyone clamors to get what they want from the middle of the table. Food is passed around so other people could get to things that were too far to reach. I discreetly watched may get her own food while I pretended to focus on getting mine. I could feel ‘lina’s heavy gaze on me watching all of my expressions so I schooled my them into something neutral.

Between the clatter of dishes everyone is quiet, until one of the younger ones pipe up. In fact, she’s the youngest. “are you the one who made lulu that dolly?” Lily asks, she doesn’t mean to but her excitedness projects the question almost in a yell over the entire room. At this everyone looks up and glances at May before settling their eyes on me. A quiet mirth building in the room.

May looks confused for a moment before she recovers. “you mean the little keychain charm?” she asks self-consciously. May is looking at lily and while it looked like she was giving eye contact, I knew here eyes were probably settled somewhere on the little tuft of fur on the top of her head. “yeah I made it as a little gift,”

“can I have one too!” lily yells. Everyone at the table is watching them now, food mostly forgotten.

May seemed shocked for a moment, floundering and blushing. Even though she was flustered I could still see the decisive moment where she regains her composure and beams. “I’ll definitely make you one.” The tension in the room that I didn’t even realize was there begins to lighten and I can see that it has a subtle effect on May as well. She’s beginning to relax in her chair, and she wont stop smiling.

It’s seems to be infectious because as we all begin to eat our food those sitting next to her happily chatter away while everyone else started their own conversations. Every now and then I could hear her giggle over something or the grousing of one of my cousins over no doubt a bad joke she probably told them. I lean over to my sister, who was nibbling on some steamed vegetables.

“so? Can she stay?” I ask her.

‘lina quirked a smile “the night? Getting a little ahead of yourself aren’t you?” she teases just below her normal volume. I glanced around thankful that no one heard that over the rowdiness of the room.

“I meant the store!” I whispered back gruffly “just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean I want to be anytime soon.”

‘lina leans back and nods. “yeah she can stay, she seems like a sweetheart.” She looks over at May who’s single handedly terrorizing her half of the table with puns now. “She seems alittle weird, but nothing I doubt you could handle.”

“It’s not like she even needs to be handled, she’s proactive.”

“proactive huh,” She smiles impishly and raises her eyebrows.

“ugh, what is with you!”

“I just want someone to suffer with me through pregnancy!” she whines, “plus! You’ve never had anyone over! I can’t help it, you have to admit this is a special occasion and I’m excited.”

“It’s not even like that and you act like you didn’t make-“ I stopped mid-sentence when I realized that I could hear my own voice clearly. Looking up from our conversation I was met with the eyes of everyone at the table, including may’s. I could feel my face flush as I wondered just how much everyone tuned into.

“I…uh” I couldn’t find the words. Should I deny what I think everyone heard and possibly further incriminate myself or play dumb.

Some of the on lookers are snickering and some are watching with amused smiles. Obviously finding this entertaining.

“so im the first friend you’ve brought over?” may asks, her eyes wide.

I look at her astonished at how dense she was. I laugh “yeah you actually are” it really wasn’t a lie. Outside of the people in my family who were shop keeps not many people knew the entire family. We all were pretty close knit, with most of us not leaving the house when we lived underground and instead kept to ourselves.

The rest of the family shared that sentiment all seeming to realize just how much childlike naivety she had. I mean it wasn’t a lie, but it was more like I never brought anyone over. I kept my interactions with people completely isolated from the ones with my family. I just never thought it was necessary to mix the two.

May just smiles, overtaken with a giddy sort of happiness that seems to ooze off of her. “im happy to be your first! We must be really close then.”

The older members of the dinner party began to chuckle at the unknowing innuendo while may and the younger ones looked around confused. I choked on the piece of food that had went down the wrong way and ‘lina patted my back as I tried not to die. ‘lina wispers a “good luck” which only exasperated me further.

When everything settled down ‘lina announced that those of us who were done could go put their dishes in the sink and those of them that wanted dessert could go get some from the kitchen. Turns out that May had made bread pudding, which was devoured before I could get to try it.

My sister excused herself from the table, leaving it with the help of her mate even though she didn’t seem to need it. She gestured for me and may to follow.

We do, and ‘lina leads us out into the living room. the chatter of the dining room now only a quiet murmur. ‘lina takes a seat on the couch gingerly cradling her belly. We join her on the large couch, and she tells Marcus to let her have some girl time. He kisses her forehead and heads back to the kitchen. Marcus has always been the quiet type. He was a monster that sported large antlers and hulking frame but even though he was powerful he didn’t use his power needlessly and he was hopelessly in love with my sister. Which was good because otherwise he would have to take on the entire family if he ever hurt her.

when we settle in, I noticed May’s eyes on her belly and I could see a few emotions pass over her face. I don’t think may realizes just how open her expressions are is, it was like she didn’t know how to hide what she was feeling. Leaving her open for anyone to practically see what she was thinking. I could see the awe, curiosity, and worry war on her face.

My sister notices the staring “you look like you have a question,” it’s a patient tone she takes instead of a irritated one, a lot like the tone she uses for the shy younger ones in our family.

May furrows her brow “what’s it like?” she asks, her voice is fragile like the question is a secret she’s never told anyone.

“being an expectant mother? Like the biggest thing has happened to you, and at the same time like things couldn’t be any more normal.” She runs a hand over her belly. “it feels like getting to meet someone I’ve been missing all my life.” She says tenderly.

“it doesn’t look like that was the only questions you have, go ahead lay them on me. It’ll be a nice change of pace from the usual ones I get.”

“why what kind do you usually get asked?”

“how are you feeling? Do you need help getting up? Are you hungry? Are you thirsty?” She sighs sounding bored.

I smirked, “I’m definitely guilty.”

‘lina just rolls her eyes. “sad thing is most of time the answers to those is yes. So what’s your question?

May looks into her eyes at this question. “how would a person know if they were ready to be a parent?”

“you don’t.”

Her answer was clear and blunt but it doesn’t look like the answer she was looking for.

“sometimes, there are things that no one is ever really ready for. You can prepare and prepare but if you wait until you’re ready… you’ll be waiting forever.” She shrugs “or that’s what I think anyway. I’m not saying be reckless I would just get ready the best anyone knows how, collect your faith, and jump.” Now it was her turn to peer into her, If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought my sister had the same ability as may considering how uncanny the look was.

“but what has you asking the hard questions, are you expecting?” even though her voice sounded teasing I knew that she wouldn’t actually joke about something like that.

She shook her head “no, nothing like that. I always wanted a big family but I worry about how things would turn out if I became a mother, Dumb things like that.” May’s face flushes at the implied admission that she wanted to be a mother some day and its not lost on anyone in the room.

“I think in cases like those its important to learn how to be flexible when parenting. that way you can give the best care that you can. from what I’ve seen its all really learn as you go”

I nodded at that “it might be different for other families but honestly our family raises our children individually as much as we let the entire family take turns teaching and guiding the young ones.” My sister gives me a brief but pointed look, and I realized only after the damage was done that maybe telling may that much info about how our family works could be a bad thing. I thought It had seemed harmless enough, I guess not.

‘lina doesn’t hesitate to change the topic though “even so, worrying about messing up…that’s normal. If you’re not a little bit worried then that would be weird. No one goes into this knowing what they’re supposed to do, and the fact that you’re worried about this in the first place means that you already want the best for whatever child you might have in the future right?”

May is quiet for a moment and looks up and smiles. Even though she looks normal, the display is …heartbreaking. Like her eyes were swimming in horrible memories that she blinked away before she could drown in them. And I just watched her for the rest of the night wondering what exactly made her make a face like that.

The rest of the night must have gone smooth because I spent most of it on autopilot. I was lost in thought, ever since that conversation. Something didn’t sit right with me and I didn’t know how to bring it up. May must have driven home because I wasn’t in the right head space to.

“hey you’ve been quiet are you alright?”

I look up to see that were standing in front of our door. “oh, yeah im fine why.”

Her face twists up “its just that...you feel weird” may says the last part quietly. Oh yeah I should have kept that in mind.

She looks away. “did I do something at dinner? or did they not like me?”

I smiled at her. “ you did fine, in fact they loved you. I was just distracted by something else. “ That was actually true, If my family didn’t like her it would have been very apparent. “one thing is for sure, they loved your bread pudding.”

I could visibly see her body go lax in relief. She seemed ecstatic on the passing score. “ im glad” Her mouth quirked into sort of a half pout, ”though I wish you got to try it. I put apples in it.”

“sorry about that Tupperware thing by the way, I’ll make sure to return it.”

She was too cute. We go inside and May kicks off her shoes and slides them over to the wall with her foot. I follow suit feeling drained, though the only thing stopping me from going back to check on my sister was the fact that she had practically banned me from doing so. Apparently, she needed time alone with her mate. Time alone was exactly why she was so pregnant now, I thought rolling my eyes.

“hey lulu”

I look up to see may with her head poking out from the lit kitchen holding up a wine bottle with her eyebrow raised in an unspoken question.

“how’d you know”

She disappears back into the kitchen “I just know these things” she says, and I could hear the smile in her voice which was shortly followed by the tinkling of wine glasses.

Just as I take a seat on the couch in the unlit living room. Neither of us bothered with turning on the lights. May comes back out with two full wine glasses and the bottle cradled under her arm. She hands me a glass before sitting down next to me in an exhausted huff.

I settle further into the couch and end up letting out a sigh myself. “so, I’ve told you about my family’s opinion,”

May looks at me curiously, as she waits for me to finish. She runs a finger along the side of the glass absentmindedly.

“But what about yours? How was dinner for you?”

“if I’m being honest it was….an experience that’s for sure.” She takes a thoughtful sip of her wine and I can practically see her piecing together her thoughts. “It was nice, seeing what a big family is like. They were all so…warm.” I felt like she was omitting some details but I didn’t really have the right to criticize her for that when I had to do the same.

Still though, I was happy she felt that way about my family. Warm was definitely a good thing, I wondered if she had meant her ability or if she meant it metaphorically. “what’s your family like?” I ask

I watch the cacophony of emotions pass by her face until she lands on a soft loving expression. “My friends are my family, “.

May has a faraway look that isn’t unlike the one she gets when she’s sorting through someone’s emotions. Though there was something different about it, it’s less empty, less far away.

“When I was younger I was alone a lot, I was new to the area and didn’t know anyone. I only knew one family member in the area” her soft smile fell slightly before she looked me in the eyes and brightened again. “I never did tell you how I met Scott did I?”

I shook my head “ we rarely talk about him, “ I take a sip of my wine, looks like she chose the sweet stuff this time. I watched her expression shift into warm nostalgia, steeped in memories she probably hasn’t dusted off in years.

“It probably won’t sound all that special,” she looks down into her glass like she’s holding the world in her hands, the smile on her face tinted with melancholy “but I wasn’t very social, not that that’s changed all that much. I tried and failed to connect with people, actually connect with them. You would think that knowing what people feel would help that along… but it really didn’t. If anything it hurt my case, so after a few tries I gave up.” She shrugs, “and when I had just started to convince myself that I was okay with that, Scott just…appeared.” She made a small explosion gesture with her free hand and her smile sweetened. “he was the first person who I became friends with years ago, the first person where what I could do couldn’t screw everything up.”

“I could be myself around him because I wasn’t caught up in trying to ignore who he was. What he was feeling.”

I feel my stomach drop at that, I knew it would be shitty to be able to feel everything around everyone but she felt like she had to hide herself away? Was she still doing that? were my own feelings making her feel like that? But what made him different.

May immediately looks up and shows her palm in a placating way. “ oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to talk about heavy stuff, I end up a lot more looser lipped when I’m around you and a little wine. “ may gives me a worried look and I instantly feel exposed. “but you see what I mean right?” She looks away now and I feel like it’s deliberate, as if she’s trying to give me privacy and I’m briefly worried she could feel a lot more from me than she’s letting on. I took this chance to look away myself.

“ yeah I guess I do,” I say taking a hearty sip from my glass.

“long story short, I can’t read him. that’s not something you should feel bad about. Me being able to read you I mean, that’s normal. It means you’re normal.”

I shrugged, not knowing how to reassure sure her that it didn’t suck without her knowing I wasn’t being genuine about it. “ Is it hard being around people who you can…’read’ then? Like being friends with them I mean. “

She glances back up at me “well I mean I’ve been friends with Emily for years and it’s never been a problem.”

“emily?” well at least she wasn’t isolating herself. “have I met them?”

“not yet I don’t think. She’s a very bubbly person, you’d like her.” May settles deeper into the sofa sighing over her glass that’s now nearing empty.

“can I ask you another question?”May raises an eyebrow and smiles . she goes to open her mouth and I cut her off before she can make her joke. “make that a few questions.”

May pouts at not getting the chance of making that god-awful dad joke she always does. “go ahead,”

“how come we always have these sorts of talks when were drinking? why cant we have these deep meaningful conversations when well…there isn’t any alcohol involved?” I held my glass up so I was looking through the glass into the soft moonlight that streamed into the room, no longer feeling in the mood to drink anymore. Not like I had a lot of wine left in my glass anyway though.

May hummed at that. Looks like she hadn’t realized that before. “honestly, I never intentionally did that but thinking back all of those times I guess it’s because even though I never really stop reading everyone’s emotions when I drink ….they’re more numb somehow?”

I gave her a skeptical look. She had practically just said that ‘alcohol numbs her emotionally’ which was a giant red flag for a series of issues.

May sees this and holds up her hands, one in a gesture to wait and the other still holding a wine glass. “not like that! Im not going to start chugging alcohol in broad daylight or in the dark alone in my room or something. I just meant that with alcohol I’m still aware of the other person but its not all consuming like it is without it, I can just tell the difference between me and someone else easier.”

She takes a moment to collect her thoughts before she continues, the tension easing out of her posture. “if it’s you, I don’t feel pressured to drink more and I know you wont judge me for my honest opinions. It almost feels like I’m a normal person having a normal conversation.”

None of that helped me feel more at ease, “I think alcohol just makes you sappy.”

“oh god I hope not,”

“defffinitley a sap.”

“makes sense since one of my nicknames is may-ple syrup”

“that was possibly the worst pun you’ve made yet.”

“you can blame scott for that one, he’s the one who came up with it.”

“it’s origin story doesn’t make it any less horrible,” I say getting up.

“aw come on, it was so bad you needed to leave?”

I chuckled ”no, I’m putting my glass in the sink. Thennn I’m going to leave.” May chuckles too, though she doesn’t hand me her wine glass when I offer to take it so I shrug and go to put mine away.

“yeah it is late isn’t it?”

“Yeah, gunna hit the hay. I may open up the shop for a few hours to see what monsters pop in, ‘lina is going to want more alone time before I’m up her tail watching her like a hawk again.”

“I’ll be up early in that case” She says getting up herself, I head into the kitchen placing the glass in the sink and run water over it. When I leave the kitchen may is over by the balcony.

“don’t feel like you have to get up too early, monsters know how important family is. no one’s is going to give a damn if I open late.”

May nods at that. I know she’s still going to wake up hell of a lot earlier than me anyway, it’s isnt like her to not be punctual. May leans on the doorframe of the open sliding door looking out. Her wine glass is full again and I catch her eye. She smiles at me sheepishly when she see’s me eyeing her glass.

“don’t worry I’m just remembering some things over another glass but I’ll head in soon.”

I shrugged It wasn’t like she owed me any explanations. As I begin to make my way to the hallway she turns back to the window. It wasn’t my place to tell her that drinking alone in a dark living room wasn’t much better than drinking alone in a dark bedroom. A tepid breeze slides through the screened door, in the dim room. She stood still, unmoving and for a moment I wondered if she’s forgotten I’m even here.

All I see of her before I leave is her pensive expression and her form silhouetted by the soft glow of the full moon. I barely hear a soft goodnight when I reach my door.

Chapter Text

I stand there in my old worn boots nudging a rock that’s wedged in the dirt. These woods were more familiar to me than any of the playgrounds I had ever been to. Fallen trees were my seesaws and the endless lush underbrush served as my sandbox. I stared up at the vibrant green canopy above me. The sunlight shined through the leaves like stained glass, painting the forest floor in a spatter of sunspots. I held a handful of what I thought were herbs, and now I needed to make my way back to dad so he could teach me about which ones were good and which ones were bad.

Somewhere along the way I lost sight of him. Which was okay, I couldn’t get lost here I knew this place. Finding him would be hard though. he had been strolling through the forest too, collecting his own edible plants.
I looked down at my own small bounty and wondered if any of these would taste any good but I knew better than to eat something if I didn’t know what it was. I made that mistake once when I ate a mud pie with a garnish of what I didn’t know was poison ivy.
I see a tawny head of hair in the distance partially hidden by foliage. I jog over excited to show off what I had found, but something was wrong. Why was I the same height as him? My father doubled my size.

“dad?”

when they turn around though it wasn’t. It was scott, holding yellow roses and carnations accompanied by blossoming butterfly weeds. I could barely take my eyes away from them. That was weird I hadn’t seen those growing anywhere around here. Birds are chirping and cawing, in an obnoxiously loud way.

“Scott?”

He’s close enough for me to make out his distressed expression. The curly hair that framed his face fell just above his furrowed eyebrows.

“what’s wrong?” when I go to approach him, I can’t seem to close the distance. He’s trying to tell me something, but the trill calling of the birds around me drowned out whatever that was. I squinted as the sun beamed down on us. I thought I had been standing under the canopy, but I was wrong. There wasn’t a tree in sight, just concrete. the sun was blinding. The calling became an unbearably loud screeching. It felt like the sun was bleaching out all I could see, and I couldn’t hear my own thoughts over the sound of birds. Was it still birds? I covered my ears and kept running, when my eyes started to water, I clenched them shut, but I startled when I found that they already were.

It takes me a moment to realize that I’m in bed. Still blinded by bright white I fumble to cover my face but the offending item is pressed up against it. My phone rings violently, still groggy I roll off it. I squinted down at the screen, even without my glasses I could make out emily’s blurry picture. Its three a.m.

What the?

I answer, being less coordinated than I would like to be. “Emily? What’s wrong?”

I could hear sobbing on the other end, my hearts still hammering from my dream but at the sound of Emily in hysterics my stomach drops. I pop up from my bed frazzled.

“m-may?”

“yeah Em, what’s the matter?” I had an inkling about what this was about, but I knew well enough that I shouldn’t rush her when she’s like this.

“ I’m sorry for calling you this late again. I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t stop thinking and I just feel..” the thought is interrupted by a series of hiccups and hyperventilating. “I feel alone.”

“Emily breathe, it’ll be okay.” I tell her, keeping my voice calm. “youre not alone, you’ll always have me.”

“I just feel like no one could love me, or even if they could why would they want to.” She’s blubbering now. I know that whatever I say to her won’t get through to her until she’s gotten out all of the toxic thoughts that she’s been steeping in since I’ve seen her last. She hadn’t felt bad back then though, did something change? “no one would want me with all of these marks and I was looking at them and I wanted…” her sobbing gets louder and the hairs stand up on my neck.

“Emily if you’re talking about THAT then I’m going to come over there.” I was doing my best to keep my voice calm but even I could hear the anxiety behind it. When Emily had lived with her father I hadn’t been able to stop her when she got like this. But I was less than thirty minutes away and nothing would stop me from storming down there.

“no…no please dont, I just I was thinking about it a lot and you told me to call if I got like this again,”

“I’m glad you did.” I could feel my heart pounding in my chest and I really had to keep myself from ignoring her request and hopping in the car. “Emily, you are loved if not by anyone then by me. How long have we known each other?”

Her sobbing has quieted now, all that’s left of them are shaky breaths and a trembling voice. “shit…it’s been so long I don’t even remember.” I hear her sniffling from the other end.

“exactly, too long for me to just leave you out of nowhere and too long for me to stop caring about you.”

Emily makes a noise that essentially says that she understands.

“did you want to talk about it? Maybe get some water or something?”

“i..I uh yeah. Thinking about it logically, I know its dumb. I feel dumb. But I’ve never felt so… rejected you know? Like I know it’s dumb but I keep putting myself out there to connect with him and I feel like I’m the only one trying.”

“him? You mean sans,” I say sadly. It hadn’t been long since we’ve talked about the situation and honestly, I just think that the best solution was time and patience. “the relationship is still new right? If you give it some time, then maybe you’ll both get to that when you’re ready.”

“that’s just the thing though! I am ready! This is the longest I’ve ever had to wait, and I just feel like maybe I’m not enough.”

“I don’t think that’s the issue, you’re forgetting that he’s a monster. Maybe the way their relationships work is different than the way ours do.” Maybe Emily needed a more hands on approach then, so she felt more involved in her relationship other than well…hunting the guy. “You know, maybe he’s looking for an opportunity to connect with you in another way.”

“so, what should I do?”

“talk to him? What does he like to do? Hobbies?”

“he uh likes to play games?”

“what else?”

There’s an overbearing silence on the other end.

“well, that just makes it easier, talk to him and give him the opportunity to open up, learn about each other and let whatever happen… happen.”

“yeah.. that sounds like something I can do.”

“I’m glad I could help.”

I stubbed my toe on the leg of my desk and I hopped around silently holding in my pained yelp. I hadn’t realized I had been pacing my room the entire time or remember even having gotten out of bed.

“hey may?”

“yeah?”

“thank you for not judging me.”

“never,”

“I feel better, I think I’m going to go shower or something.”

“alright call me if you change your mind and you want company.”

“I promise I will…love you may, “she says softly. She’s not crying anymore but her voice was fragile like talking any louder would hurt her somehow.

“love you too Em,”

Emily hangs up and I’m left standing in my room. Dawn is beginning to tenderly soak into the dark sky tinting the room a gentle blue.

Standing there, I finally begin to calm down, my pounding heartbeat in my ears wasn’t as audible and my breathing was under control now. My toe was still throbbing though. Glancing over at my comfortable bed and warm blankets I frowned. There was no way I was going to be able to go back to bed. That was fine though, I would’ve gotten up in a few hours anyway. Instead of going to layback down only to stare at the ceiling I collect my glasses and my clothes to go shower.

As I stood under the soothing hot shower the smell of floral shower gel reminded me of the bizarre dream I had. Scott occasionally paying me a visit in my dreams wasn’t really all that uncommon, but what was strange was that he had popped up in a dream where I lived with my father. I let the hot water roll off my back and I visualized the uneasiness I felt, doing the same.

Now that I was alone with my own feelings, I think that maybe it was for the best that I hadn’t drove over to Emily’s. Even though I still would have gone regardless, being around her for long periods would pull me into her mood too. I finger combed my hair before lathering in shampoo and conditioner. Working out the suds as I worked through my thoughts. I did a final rinse and wrung it before stepping out.

I towel off and get dressed, letting my hair mostly air dry. I wasn’t in the mood to do anything to it today, so if it wants to be wild and poofy it could be just that. I drop my pajamas into the hamper by the door and glance at my phone. It wasn’t even five a.m. yet. How should I kill some time? I wander out into the living room and turn on my console.

Sans is online. I guess I wasn’t the only one up late, or is it early? I start up a game, it’s a casual puzzle game that didn’t require striking reflexes or accuracy. It was just mind numbing puzzles to relax to.

A few games later I get a message from sans asking what has me up at this ungodly hour.

Mayple: nothing important, just couldn’t go back to sleep. Hbu?

Red: eh a few reasons no big deal tho

I play a few more games and I almost forgot that we were chatting when he sends another message.

Red: you mind if I call?

Mayple: sure, don’t want to get up for my headset though is it okay if we talk over the phone?

Red: XXX-XXX-XXXX

I dialed the number and went back to my puzzle.

“Hey,”

“aye, I know that was outta the blue, but I had some questions I was hoping you could answer that wasn’t something I felt comfortable leavin on some message board.”

“ why whats going on?”

“well it’s Emily. She left me some pretty…. Concernin’ messages. I just wanted to ask ya if she was good. she hasn’t responded back.”

“yeah, she’s okay now. Me and her talked, she’ll be okay.”

There’s a huff that comes from the other end, and my character careens off the side of the puzzle into a black abyss below. “she just, she needs some support right now you know?” the hours of sleep lost wore on my voice making it come out low and listless. His voice mirrored the same tone and I could feel a shared understanding that we were both tired. though, I couldn’t help but wonder about what the other reasons were that had kept him up.

“I’ll keep that in mind. I’m assumin’ that we’re both up for the same reasons then.”

“well even if I hadn’t been woken up by that ‘specific reason’ then I would’ve been woken up by this weird dream…nightmare? That I had.”

“ya sound like you dunno which one it was.”

“I mean… like do you ever have those dreams where they’re not outright scary but they’re just…wrong somehow?”

“….sounds weird can’t say I have.”

“well good because they suck. At least with a nightmare you’re not stuck wondering what they mean. If it was a nightmare, I would know how to feel about that at least.”

When the silence on the other end becomes overbearing the heat rushed to my face. “oh, I’m talking too much aren’t I? I’m sorry. Right now, I’m just a bundle of nerves and I get like this.”

Sans huffed a short laugh under his breath. “nah, its fine. A friend of mine used ta do the same thing when they were overthinkin’ things.”

I let out a rattled laugh myself “oh okay, I’m glad I’m not the only one.”

Sans doesn’t say anything else for a while. I briefly considered whether or not I should end the call. “are you alright?”

“uh…yeah. Just worried about Emily I guess?”

“oh, that makes sense. I wont talk too much about anything she texted you, but just try to talk to her and keep an eye out. She’s pretty sensitive to stuff even if she doesn’t act like it.”

“somehow I find that hard to believe.”

I didn’t like the tone of his reply. It was curt and a little cold. “I’ve been meaning to ask, but what do you like about Emily?”

“that’s a curveball of a question.”

“that’s not really an answer though.”

“what’s with the random-ass interrogation huh?”

“how come your so good at dodging the question?”

“well if ya just spring a question like that on a guy how are they supposed to just have an answer off the top their head?”

“it’s not like I asked you to give me a whole essay or something. I was just curious. I just wanted to know if you had a legitimate reason or if I should be worried for her.”

He let out a deep sigh. “ it’s not like I have some grandiose reason that’s gunna blow your mind or anythin’. I decided to give this a try because her energy was different.”

Because her energy was different? I guess I couldn’t judge another person for having a reason like that considering the people I ended up closest to. It was largely based on what energy I could handle. So hearing that someone felt similar was both comforting and concerning. While it was good to know that maybe my choice in friends wasn’t bad if other people got the same feelings from them, but it still rubbed me the wrong way.

With only the one experience in romance, I couldn’t say for sure if that was normal or not….and I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable that I was grilling her boyfriend about his intentions when I didn’t have the most innocent ones either.

Almost at the most inopportune time I feel a swell of emotions and…they’re not mine. Worried I might have an attack I’m about to change the subject but the feeling passes before I can take any action. That was weird.

Once again I’m glad that I hadn’t needed to head over to Emily’s. She would have only freaked out more if she saw me go through that again.

“musta been a good answer If It got ya to stop grillin me.”

“yeah, I guess you could say that. Hey, I’m sorry I have to go.”

“ ….talk to ya later.”

***

After that…odd ass phone call I continue playing the game. Why did I feel the need to call her over something like that? I’m not responsible for Emily’s choices and im not her babysitter. Even though I knew this. my soul dropped when I remembered the times when I had the chance to stop friends from heading off into the echo flower fields. Some of them confided in me about some of the same exact things that Emily sent me. There wouldn’t be any trace of them either. Not until a reset.

I put my energy into sniping an enemy across the map focusing on the killstreak I was working on instead of riding that train of thought to it’s final destination.

I don’t have to do that for long though because I heard paps getting out of the shower upstairs, the sound of the shower curtain being pulled back a telltale sign. The sun was almost up, I had been up all night and now I was going to have to stay up all day. I had work in a few hours. Work I wasn’t looking forward to, I wanted to just crawl back into bed and stay there until my bones crumbled but even then, I Knew sleep wasn’t an option.

Papyrus comes down the stairs like his feet are made of lead, each step he takes down the steps makes a thud that echoes through the whole house. Anyone not used too this would think an intruder was taking a sledgehammer to a wall.

I knew he does it to try to get me to wake up, and most times it worked but he didn’t need to know that. When he turns the corner on the last landing his stomping stops. Seeing me awake he doesn’t bother stomping the rest of the way. I turned my head to greet him.

“ mornin’ pa-“ what I was going to say gets cut off with a near audible ‘thwap’. It took me a second to recover. The item that slapped me across the face fell into my lap. It was one of my socks “ what the fuck bro.” it was way too early for some bullshit.

“DON’T ‘MORNIN’ ME! STOP LEAVING YOUR DISGUSTING STIFF ASS SOCKS ALL OVER THE HOUSE LIKE SOME HORRIFIC AIR FRESHENER”

“so it’s safe to assume you’re just not gunna say it back?” I took a whiff of the sock just to see that they didn’t even smell like anything. he was overreacting like it was his job. “stiff? That’s harsh, you know I only wear them for like one day.” I dropped the sock over the edge of the couch and back to the floor. I kept a poker face as I looked up to see his reaction, and I had to suppress a smirk from creeping its way up the side of my face. If he wanted to be a dick this early in the morning then I could return the favor.

“can’t we ‘drop’ the subject?” I grinned at him.

Paps face went through three or four emotions, some of them were to be expected but others had me leaning away. my grin tightened. His expression landed on something soft and playful and my magic ran cold. I stood from my seat ready for him to fling an attack at me or possibly throw the lamp.

Instead he just smiles, he did nothing other than stand there in the kitchen doorway and stare at me. “HOW ABOUT YOU START TO PICK UP YOUR SOCKS OR I’LL DROP YOU .” he smile turns malicious on the word ‘you’ before he returned to his usual brooding scowl, stalking off into the kitchen. I could hear the sound of the doggy door flap open from inside the room. Shortly after, Doom came trotting into the living room. The fluffy white husky stood there cheerfully with this tongue hanging out. Oblivious of the mood of the room.

I stared at him as he stared at me and I let out a breath. Paps wouldn’t actually hurt me. Well not a lot… but in the right conditions I would need to get serious about dodging. I reached down and teleported the sock away. The air where it had been shimmered the same way the air did over hot pavement in the summer.

Paps comes back out with a mug, there was text on the side that read ‘even baddies need coffee’. I don’t think he even knows what that means. He’s leaning on the door frame eyeing me, he looks like he’s thinking hard. As if there’s something he wants to ask but he doesn’t know what the question is. He drinks his coffee and I can see the question hit him.

“WHY ARE YOU AWAKE,”

“because I woke up.” I shrugged. Last thing I needed to tell him was that my hobby was contemplating biting the big one. Maybe I could try to see past the superficial and see what a relationship is actually like, if it meant I’d be doing her a favor and not breaking her heart. I didn’t feel like having to deal with an emotional human more than I had to.

Paps scowl deepens. “I HATE THAT. IM NOT A IDIOT YOU KNOW.”

I looked up at him confused, “whattya going on about, no one called ya an idiot”

“WELL YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE.” His scowl softens slightly, and so does his voice. “are you having them again?”

Then it dawns on me. He’s worrying about me again. I swipe the palm of my hand over my entire face in frustration. I made sure that I didn’t do anything that would start to worry him and now I’ve gone and done it when I wasn’t even bothered by anything. “paps that’s not it. I’m fine I-“

His face twisted at the words ‘I’m fine’. Fuck, those were the wrong words to use. Those were words I used to use a lot when I most definitely was not okay. “alright look. Do a check, I’m okay I’m doing better.”

Paps doesn’t do a check on me, but he does look me in the eyes, choosing to read my expression instead. Seeming satisfied he takes another sip from his mug. “YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT BUT YOU PASS.” He says with a nod.

I rolled my eye lights “gee thanks.” I didn’t need him to tell me that. I felt like shit.

“SO WHY ARE YOU UP SO EARLY THEN? YOU WANNA JOIN ME FOR MY MORNING JOG?” the sarcasm dripped off the question more than Paps would be if he drank human coffee.

I couldn’t stop myself from visibly cringing at the aspect of me jogging anywhere.

“more like I had to take care of something”

“LIKE WHAT”

“my K/D ratio on this game.”

Paps just huffs and swivels on his heels and storms off into the kitchen. “IF YOU INSIST ON BEING LIKE THAT FINE! IM NOT GOING TO WASTE MY TIME FISHING FOR NON-ANSWERS.” I could hear him slam his mug down onto the counter, and I plant my eyelights on the screen resuming the game I was playing as an excuse to not look paps in the face.

He storms past me and I don’t look when he goes to the door. “IM GOING FOR MY JOG. YOU BETTER BE DOING SOMETHING OTHER THAN PLAYING THAT DAMN VIDEOGAME WHEN I GET BACK.”

I mentally count three seconds and hear the slam. I routinely catch the lamp and right it.

I knew he had meant work on my ‘hobby’ but luckily, I didn’t need to worry about having to deal with her right away. I had a ‘glorious’ job awaiting me in a mere few hours.

I groaned. I really didn’t feel like going in today. It wasn’t like anyone ever showed up to that lousy ass place. Plus, it was so old that it constantly smelt like dust and aged paper. I would be lying to say that while it was unsettling, I found it familiar.

I guess I was more concerning that I wasn’t completely uncomfortable with it. I guess the place wasn’t all that bad though, they had let me paint the place with an added bonus. Sure, I had paint stuck in some pain the ass crevices of my hands for longer than I liked but it was nice to see that old bastard so excited over some dumb ass mural.

I glanced at the clock. I had about two…two and a half hours to spare before I should start to get ready. I didn’t feel like I was working with a full tank so teleporting today was out.

Once I got through the campaign, I get up to make a quick breakfast. I cursed when the sharp tips of my phalanges puncture through the bag of waffles. I need to file them down again. My eye lights catch something shine slightly out of my field of view, but it turned out it was just my scars glimmering in the reflection of the stainless toaster. I frowned when I saw the warped reflection of them and made a mental note to wear long sleeves even if It had been hot as fuck the last few days.

I pop the waffles into the toaster and watch the metal heat up and glow red, slowly toasting the frozen disks. Staring at my reflection and my own deepening scowl I was reminded of paps face. He tried to hide it, but the anguish he felt about not being able to help was something I was too well acquainted with to be able to turn a blind eye to. I clenched my fists and with it the sharp tips of my phalanges dug into the brittle planes of my palm.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t tried to talk to paps about what was going on. The times when I had told paps about the resets and the deaths…. None of those times had gone over well. He was almost unhappier knowing that life didn’t have a meaning than he was worrying over what was wrong with me. So it was better to choose the lesser of the two evils and just work to minimize how much he had to be concerned. There was no reason to make him suffer just because I had to.

The waffles popped from the toaster coming out darker than I would like. I grab them and eat them plain as I head up the stairs. They’re still hot but that was fine.

I headed into the bathroom figuring now was as good as ever to shower. It’s not like I had anything better to do. The hot water runs over my bones beading up on my skull and rolling down the side of my face before it had the chance to roll into my sockets. The steam and the warmth started to be too much though and I shut the water off. I get out still dripping wet and get the large file from inside the medicine cabinet getting to work smoothing out some of the rough edges that would get caught on my clothes later. He hated that his bones would attempt to mend the old gashes and wounds and would quit as it began. Leaving pieces that stuck up only to get hooked on anything that it had a chance to.
I painstakingly grinded down the uneven bits, even going so far to file directly over top of the gold that served to mend the parts that never healed properly. Luckily my current job wasn’t anywhere as near as high risk as my last one. There was an extremely low possibility of breaking another bone here.
I was not excited to have hot ass molten metal poured into cracks any time soon. I had long since have given up on trying to figure out why I couldn’t heal the same way other monsters did. where we used to live no one could afford to be out of commission for long periods of time. With gold readily available it was the best thing we could think of for a sturdy fix. Sure, it was heavy but that just gave me the added bonus of being harder to knock over in a fight. I finish up with rounding off the sharp edges of my hands, doing my best to blunt the pointed tips.

I shouldn’t need these anymore, things would be changing. Killing each other and fighting wasnt our main prerogative anymore. Hopefully the example I made was good enough to keep other dumbasses from making me have to step in again.

I look myself over in the mirror. I took in the stark white of my bones which were littered in years worth of gilded mistakes and the beginning of rings darkening under my sockets, . Why did today feel shitty? I brush the powder from my continued filing off of my leg and into the trash bin below. Satisfied I got up to leave the bathroom. Fang is staring at me as I exit. I don’t have a towel and we’re just staring at each other.

“whaddya want mutt?”

Fang huffed and trotted back into the direction of the kitchen. I followed to find that they’ve plopped down beside their dog bowl. I glanced at the time, it was too early to feed them but whatever. Paps made food specifically for Fang, apparently the ‘petrified meat kernels’ weren’t good enough to be dog food so he made a wet blend that was more to his standards.

Picking up his bowl I opened the fridge and took one of the mason jars of dog food labeled seasonal mix. I squinted down at the contents as I spooned it out. Looked like peas, carrots, chicken and a few other things.

I shook my head, so the dog could get pot pie filling but I was stuck with noodle variants most nights. I side eyed the dog and wondered if paps would notice if I stole a jar or two. I thought better of it though when I spooned it out into the bowl. His mix didn’t have the subtle sheen of magic on it. So he would most definitely notice if I just started leaking ‘dog food’ out of nowhere.

Fang whined, his tail swishing back and forth eyeing the bowl I was holding. Yeah, it would probably be for the best if I didn’t linger in the kitchen for any longer, being stark naked and all. I set the bowl down and left to go head upstairs to get dressed.
Or more accurately towel off what remaining water was left and whatever parts a towel couldn’t get to air dry as I laid in bed instead.

I glanced around the room and even though I’ve been topside for a while now I really just craved my room. Not this one but MY room. I wasn’t used to not having to dodge creaky floorboards when I walked across the room or not having to remember to step high, so I didn’t trip on the door jam. This house lacked the imperfections that we had to deal with. It was too perfect to be comfortable in. Where was the character.

The lack of things to look for always made me feel on edge, as if I was missing something that I should be paying attention to, should be avoiding. Each day passes though, and nothing pops up. So I just go through the motions and keep an eye out, that way when that issue pops up I’m not blindsided.

I looked at my bare floors, free of that dusty disgusting rug we used to keep splinters from scraping up our bones. Now I’m met with the shiny smooth planks free of knots or holes. Even if I was unnerved by its lack of flaws, I coudnt help but keep the majority of the floor unobscured because even if I missed the familiarity of my room back in snowdin I wouldn’t fool anyone if I said I hadn’t dreamed about having a room like this when I was young.

But with everything that’s happened, I can’t bring myself to enjoy it.

My sparse room wasn’t empty though, paps made sure I lugged almost everything out of snowdin. that way, there would be less of a chance of me sneaking away to holdup in my old room. The only things he wouldn’t let me bring was the trash tornado and the treadmill. Not that I cared, I wouldn’t use it anyway.

I rolled off my bed onto my feet, making sure I didn’t just roll and fall off like I had the first time I got it. Sure, an elevated bed had its perks but smacking the floor like a bag of bricks aint one of them.

I go over to my walk in closet, and grab a random long sleeve shirt and black pants. I felt a quiet satisfaction as the smooth fabric slid over my bones without so much as a snag. I looked up into the mirror on my dresser as I buttoned up my shirt. While the shirt fit well enough it hung slightly more than it normally did. I glanced down at the layer of padding I usually produced around my bones, It wasn’t visible to most people but I knew what to look for. The usually barely visible layer of magic I put out for protection…and to be honest intimidation was pretty thin today.

“how did I not notice that.”

I huffed, I knew why I felt like shit now. I hadn’t been getting a lot of rest on top of it being around that time where my outputs are just low altogether. Dammit Emily, you were really causing a lot of problems. I’m debating whether or not she’s worth the trouble at this point if she’s contributing to putting me in danger. I button up my shirt the rest of the way. I focused some of my magic into the padding and my clothes started to look like they fit me again. Yeah, today was a car day.

I slid on some black socks and headed out of my room being mindful not to slip on the floors now that
I was wearing them. No broken bones no broken bones. I get to the door and slid on a pair of decent shoes, nothing dressy but they were classier than the ‘work’ shoes that I wore when I went for that ‘house call’. I grabbed a pair of black leather gloves to take with me when I went to work. I opened the door and paused. Swiveling back into the house to go grab my wallet and keys before finally locking the door and getting into my car.

I still had some time to kill, enough for something more substantial to eat before I started my shift.

I thought about my options, grillby’s was on the way but the prep time would take too long. Muffets would be quick but I wasn’t feeling like sugar with a side of cannibalism this early in the day. That left me with ‘vegan’, the corner store and lulus. Not wanting to deal with a terrified froggit I took a gamble and checked to see if the store was open.

To my surprise it actually was, I pulled into the parking lot and was greeted by the dimly lit open sign. I got out and lock the door, moving through this humid ass air that I dubbed as hell into the blasting air conditioner of the store. I huffed out a relieved sigh. nice, I might as well stock up while I’m here considering I didn’t know when lulu was gunna decide to open up shop next. Damn bunny and not being consistent was interfering with my meals. When I enter, I grab a basket, and look over to see May and Fuko at the counter chatting away. May caught my eye when I came in but fuko was oblivious that I was even there, so I laid my hand on her shoulder.

She flinches slightly, her flame rising briefly in defense before she registers that it’s me. “haven’t seen ya inna while, what ya been up to?”

“nothing that you need to know about mister snitch,” fuko says jabbing me in my side but with less padding she actually jabs me directly in the rib.

“oof” I drop my hand from her shoulder and glare at her. She glances down at the spot and then at my expression with an unspoken question. Which I just scowled at until she let it go.

“wow I didn’t think I would see you so soon,” may says. I look over to where she’s sitting behind the counter, she has a slightly worried brow as she looks between the two of us and I lighten up on the scowl some.

“why? a guy cant just pop in to grab a few snacks?”

“speaking of popping in, this is the first time I’ve ever seen you walk in. It’s like you enjoy sneaking up and scaring me or something.”

For a second I internally panic, thinking that she saw me ‘port right in front of her that one time before thinking better of it. “last time I checked you weren’t paying attention when I walked up.”

Fuko’s flames flickered and rose. “nah, don’t let this big dummy fool you he most definitely likes to sneak up on people.” I didn’t need to see the colors of her flames change to know she was teasing; her voice was dripping with the stuff.

I rolled my eye lights at her “sure. whatever floats your boat.”

“oh, um I’ve been meaning to get around to thanking you for taking me home the other night by the way.” may looks away from us, her eyebrows are furrowed and for once I couldn’t get the best read on her expression. Was that worry? Embarrassment? Shame? I squinted at her trying to figure out if I should feel offended or not.

Regardless of whatever that face was supposed to mean, I really wished she hadn’t said something that vague with a face like that in front of fuko of all people.

“don’t mention it.” I didn’t mean to come of this cold but I could feel fukos heat rising. She was getting excited about all the possible meanings behind what she just heard. It didn’t help that may was fidgeting and looking away.

“hmm,” fuko looks at me and it wasn’t hard to make out her smug smile.

“but I really appreciate it, let me know if I can return the favor if you ever need it.” Great she was just throwing fuel on the fire now.

“Hmmmm.” Fuko is now leaning on me and if she had eyebrows she would be waggling them. I rolled my eyes and put my entire palm over her face and pushed her away from me. Fuko is just laughing now, with no actual mouth there wasn’t anything obstructing her laughter..

From the looks of it may is simply confused about what’s going on and our reactions, eyes going between the both of us watching intently. I felt an unpleasant tingle in my bones the longer she stared.

“shuddup fuko ya know damn well it wasn’t like that.”

“like what?” may asks

“nothin’ ya need to concern yourself with.”

“oh, okay.” When shes not let in on what she probably thinks is an inside joke she looks like a kicked puppy.

Fuko rushes over to her and leans over the counter to throw an arm over her shoulder. the human just looks alittle frazzled at the quick movement “now don’t be rude to may, shes just trying to be nice and ‘do you a favor’ “

I glowered at her really wanted to throw some water on her.

“he wasn’t being rude,”

“see and shes even quick to defend you, I SWOON”

“okay, yeah. that’s enough,” I turned away and stormed off in the direction of the snacks. I wasted enough time talking to that dumbass.

Barely in earshot I could hear may complaining about fuko bothering me and fuko saying something along the lines of her having rights to. I shopped the store until I heard fuko leave. Which wasn’t hard because she’s a jabber mouth around may. The near empty store only quieted down when she was gone.

I made my way up to the register. There weren’t much chances of may saying anything off the wall like fuko would. I watched her expression closely as she rang me up. There was something about the way that most times her expressions were too easy to read that made me uncomfortable. She seemed like an alright person in general, but she was still human. Plus, if there’s one thing I know it’s that people buddy up with likeminded individuals so her being friends with Emily meant she probably shared some of her more questionable character traits.

When may finishes ringing up the items and bagging them she pauses. “hey, I don’t know you that well, but I wanted to ask if you were feeling alright.” She glances at me, and I don’t miss how she’s not really giving me eye contact. She’s being sneaky about it though, so it’s not insecurity per say. Insecure people looked at the ground or away completely, but she had her eyes focused somewhere around my nasal cavity.

“whats got you askin’ something like that?”

May takes a moment to put together her thoughts, her face scrunching up as if to figure out a way to describe it. “ you just feel off somehow,”

What? Off how. She shouldn’t be able to feel my magic or how its dipped, humans don’t have magic. Even if she did, she would have to come in contact with it to feel a difference. Fuko felt it earlier but may hadn’t touched me. May is still staring at me, she’s still looking at me. I had a very strong urge to leave and I felt my magic gather to either attack or teleport.

“sans?” her trembling voice snapped me out of it, grounding me just in time. I see her leaned away from me, terrified. It wasn’t put on; I could tell by the way her eyes were dilated and the way she was frozen where she sat barely breathing. As if any movement would set me off. my magic is permeating the air and judging by her expression my eye lights are probably out. Fuck.

I worked to put on the most neutral face I could, trying to brush over the whole thing and I unsquared my shoulders. It takes may a moment to relax too, but she doesn’t move and just eyes me warily.

“sorry about that, monster flu. Ya know how it is.” May shouldn’t know that we cant get sick. not in the way humans did anyway. Even so it sounded like some bullshit, even to me.

She eyed me openly now and even looked me in the eyes, even if that didn’t last long. I didn’t like that look she gave me. Like it was both here and present but a thousand miles long. She settles on a worried expression before she asks “will you be alright? Is it something a monster hospital can fix?”

I peer around at her screen and get a glimpse of the total without her noticing, fishing out some gold. “yeah, ill be fine it goes away on it’s own.” I set the balance on the counter and collect my bags turning to go.

She still looked concerned, but she nods. “have a nice day, thanks for shopping with us.” It sounded too quiet to be sincere, it just sounded obligatory.

I did my best to remain calm until I get to my car, where I throw my bags into the back and let out a groan. She didn’t know it but there was a chance she could have died just now. It wouldn’t even have been her fault either. It was normal for people to ask about other people’s wellbeing, it was normal to be concerned about it. The question wasn’t a veiled threat, or a warning.

I leaned against my seat and took a few settling breaths trying to reign in any unfocused magic that I had released into the air and refocused it into more padding. The magic was already out there so it needed to be used otherwise its just wasted. That or any passing monster for the next hour or so was going to think I was aiming for a fight.

Once I calmed down I started the car and made the commute over to my job. I didn’t get to enjoy the silence long before my phone rang.

The call was from the person that I wanted to talk to the least right now.

“heya sans,”

“ ‘sup, Feeling better?”

“sort of, I talked to may and calmed down.”

“glad to hear it.” The silence on the other end stretched out longer than what was comfortable, and the only thing I could hear was the sound of the tires rolling over the pavement.

“ I… I wanted to know if maybe you were free to meet up and talk?” the timid tone sounded foreign coming from her. Not once since I’ve been around her has she sound anything less than cocky. It set me on edge. Either this was a breakup and she finally has had enough of my shit, or this was a lure for some human trick.

“ I cant right now, I’m headed into work.”

“oh,” the disappointment in her voice made her sound quieter and sadder than I was used to. “would It be okay if we met up after? Maybe I could come pick you up?” I didn’t trust how insistent she was being, but if she really did want to end this then I would give her the opportunity.

“how about we just meet up somewhere when I get off,”

“okay, see you then.” She hangs up and sends me an address I am not familiar with. I only got to see it briefly since I had to pay attention to the road but I’m sure I’ve never been to a place with that street name.

I did a quick search on the address and all I got was directions to get there, with no pictures popping up and no neighborhood names. I grumbled, already regretting the decision to meet up with her if the rising headache was anything to go by.

My shift was spent idly vacuuming. If I told paps that this is what I spent my time doing then I could expect him to storm down here in order to inspect what atrocity was so bad that it got ‘me of all people’ to start cleaning. I was no neat freak but with no customers and the stench of dust trapped in the old, carpeted floors I did my best to lessen the offending odor. It was worse than the carpet that was laid down throughout our old house. Though everything smelled like that down there. Why the hell did places smell like dust up here on the surface? monsters hadn’t been around up here to die to get a carpet to smell this bad.

Funny thing was that my job was just to operate and fix the projector but with scheduled showings of once every hour I had plenty of time to do other things, or nothing at all.

The owner of the place was some old dude obsessed with paranormal stuff and the supernatural. When I came in for the interview the jovial old man hired me on the spot. Even though he has showed a lot of interest in me being a skeleton he hadn’t said a word about it, didn’t mean that his eyes hadn’t lit up the moment he saw me. He was all right as far as humans go, having started me on the job that same day.

“looks like we have a skeleton crew today,” He smiles at me smugly, his crows feet and gentle facial features gave him a strong resemblance to Gerson. Now that I thought about it I should go visit that old turtle fucker.

“keep that up and I’m going to have a bone to pick with you.” It wasn’t one of my best lines but it still earned a chuckle out of him.

My mind was elsewhere and wasn’t really in it to find good puns. With my shift almost over and no more scheduled showings all I had to do was stick through another hour. With no windows, no matter how late it got here it always looked like the same time of day, it was a small comfort that I didn’t take for granted, even if the place smelled worse than the trash shoot of muffet’s bakery.

“say, I don’t know about you but these old bones need to rest. How about we close early today?” He’s eyeing me thoughtfully and had it been most people I would’ve thought they were sizing me up. With him though, all I got was the feeling of patience.

“sounds good ta me.”

We shut everything down and let his grandson that manned the booth know that we were closing up. The shithead couldn’t scramble out of the booth fast enough. Even if I hadn’t ended my shift early, for once it felt like no time at all passed.

To my surprise, night greeted me when I left the building. I really shouldn’t be surprised; this was normal but inside that building it felt like time didn’t move at all.

I gave a brief wave to him and his bratty grandson and got into my car. One more chore to take care of and then I could head home, eat then sleep. I was running on empty, having forgotten to eat any of the snacks I bought earlier and maintaining my output all day.

The old man’s eyes come to mind and I can’t help but think that he could see that I was exhausted. My palms were sweaty from the exertion. I snatched a bag of chips from the back seat and started scarfing it down. It took the edge off my appetite, but I didn’t have to worry about spoiling it. Paps would have dinner ready at home and if I didn’t eat then I’d suffer in other ways later.

Shooting Emily a text I let her know I was on my way, and I sent paps the same address to let him know where I was going and that id make it for dinner.

In the tepid interior of my car I start the engine and the air conditioner along with it. A droplet of sweat rolled down the side of my skull and I rushed to wipe it away when the sensation felt like a bug crawling on me. Yeah definitely needed to rest soon.

I don’t bother to buckle up before I pull out of the parking spot and onto the road. The roads were practically empty, while it wasn’t all that late yet it was late enough for the majority of monsters to want to be inside or home. I hated this time of night, it was when cocky monsters decided that an ambush would be a good idea. It was a prime time for it, with there being plenty of secluded areas and dark corners.

As I drove, the GPS took me out by where grillby lived except it was farther out than that and private property. I gripped the steering wheel and sneered. If Emily was up to some dumb shit I wouldn’t hesitate to make her and any other dumbass disappear.

After what feels like forever, I finally come up on a huge house. Except that isn’t the right word. It was downright gargantuan, even by monster standards. Was this some kind of facility? Facilities usually had gates and guards or something though. I kept the engine running and got out, locking the door behind me. I didn’t think it was completely necessary but in the off chance I didn’t have enough magic left to ‘port out at least I had the option.

I make my way over to the door, I stare at it trying to figure out whats wrong with it. The thing is there isn’t anything wrong. the door isn’t human sized instead, its taller than me. This wasn’t a house of any monster that I knew.

I ring the doorbell and when no one answers after a long while I’m about to push it again when a frazzled Emily opens the door.

“I’m sorry I was pulling something out of the oven,” She opens the door wide and turns and hurries away not saying anything else.

Oven? Assuming that she had invited me in, I glanced around before entering. Didnt look like anyone else was here. Even if they were, it wasn’t like there were many places to hide. The room I was standing in screamed pretentious and rich. A large room sectioned off by frosted glass, and sprinkled here and there with white minimalistic furniture and white waist high vases filled with even taller plants. In the forefront of the room almost the first thing you see is the overbearing trophy case.
I walk over to it to take a look, the wooden frame was engraved in tiny ornate patterns and was claw footed at the bottom. Glass shelves held all of the racks of medals and trophies which all had the same name on them. Rickard Williams. The guy had earned himself all gold awards for some sport called tennis.

Bored of the case I look around the rest of the room, rounding corners of the frosted glass I find a sitting area with a t.v. that doesn’t have any right being that large. If this really was some human’s house, I never wanted to meet them. Everything in here felt sterile or abundantly wasteful. Who needed a ten foot tall marble statue of… I didn’t even know what. I pass by the dining table which wasn’t anything special before I stumble onto another trophy case. I was about to pass by it without really giving it a look but the fact that it was off to the corner where it wasn’t as well-lit and the medals weren’t gold at all piqued my curiosity.

There were more medals than there were trophies here, mostly bronze with a sparse amount of silver awards. On closer inspection these medals were awarded to Emily for the same sport. There were medals all the way up until maybe a few years ago. Huh.

“there you are.”

I swivel around to see Emily , shes standing over by the frosty glass pane that divided the room. her eyebrows furrowed as she looked between me and the trophy case. I walked over to her nonchalantly pretending like I hadn’t seen her name on them.

“so what did you want to talk about?”

Emily leads me over the dining room table, “I was hoping we could talk over dinner.” It looks like the table is set and she’s made some stakes and mashed potatoes. When she goes to sit so do I, The chair being just barely big enough to fit my whole ass on it.

“so, who’s place is this?”

“oh, sorry about that I forgot that you’ve never been here before. It’s my father’s house “

for some reason the fact that she’s forgotten who she has and hasn’t brought to her father’s house rubs me the wrong way.

“How come we’re meeting here at ya father’s house of all places?”

“well, hes out for work and he usually takes his staff with him when he goes to another property. When he leaves he asks me to water the plants till he gets back.” Emily is fiddling with the stem of her wine glass when she says this, she doesn’t look at me and instead looks like the stem glass that shes rolling between her two fingers is the most interesting thing in the world. “but enough about me, go ahead and dig in.”

Enough about her? The hell usually she never stops talking about herself and her day and well anything. I did a passive check on her and it wasn’t what I expected. None of her stats had changed since the last time I’d seen her. But as for the description of her soul, it just read ‘she’s trying something different’.

Maybe that’s why she was being so weird? Not wanting to think so hard about it I glance down at the food starving, weird or not I was going to have to eat some of this. The mashed potatoes look fine, and the steak is overdone but I wasn’t picky. I cut through it and pause. This was human food. I set the knife and fork down.

“something wrong?” Emily asks, her plate consists of just a steak which she’s still trying to saw through.

“I cant eat this,”

“what? Why not?”

“there’s no magic in it, “

“can’t you try some of it at least?”

Was she serious? I shook my head “I mean I could just eat it Emily, but you’re gunna want to have a mop ready for what happens next”

Emily stares at me for a long moment. “….youre serious”

“deadly.”

I could feel the headache I had earlier resurface and I let out a sigh. The fact that monsters couldn’t eat human food was common knowledge, it wasn’t a secret. Even if it was, we had been ‘dating’ for almost two months now, wouldn’t you remember something like that. At this point I really want her to just hurry up and end this. “diddya want to start with your questions?”

“yeah I just wanted to ask you about you, like…what do you like? What shows do you watch, things like that.”

I suppressed the want to outwardly groan. She dragged me all the way out here just for this childish shit. “I don’t have any hobbies that ya don’t already know about.”

“oh.. then is there something that you want me to know about you?”

“not really, but I do have questions of my own. Why are you trying so hard all of a sudden? What changed, because from my point of view you haven’t been interested with anything other than the fact that I’m a monster since you’ve got with me. A better question is why you’ve decided to stick around in the first place.”

Emily just stares in shock, her mouth pressed in a thin line. “you were different.” Is all she says.

“and? I know that already.” This was relationship superficial from the get-go and it still was. If she wanted a pretend boyfriend, I would play the part but this sad attempt at her trying to build a connection that we’ve never had wasn’t gonna happen.
“I’ve been going along with this, but don’t you think that getting to know me is something that’s supposed to happen like in the beginning stages or something?”

“well here I thought that you could try and get to know your partner better anytime. I didn’t know there was some special window I had to make sure not to miss.” Her voice was mocking. All of the shyness was out the window replaces with a sneer and defensiveness.

“partner? Since when have we been partners? I thought we were dating.”

“so you’re really going to complain about my vocabulary now? First the food now you’re giving me shit about this.”

Were…were the two words synonymous to humans? God, I hope not. The LAST thing I wanted was for a human to think that I wanted to bond with them. Especially this human. “listen. I think I need to clear things up. I dunno how you humans work, but dating doesn’t mean I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. It means it’s a trail run.”

Emily sputters. “a TRIAL run?” She yelled slamming her wine glass down. “is that what I am? your ‘fourteen-day freebie’ to see if you want to PURCHASE?” her voice rose with every word.

“what the FUCK are you going on about. That’s how all monster’s work. We don’t just go around proclaiming our love to people. we have steps. Can you stop acting crazy for a second and lower your goddamn voice?”

She rose from her seat so fast that the chair tipped over. She was leaning on the table with both hands, her eyes were crazed and she didn’t move when her wine glass fell from the table shattering on the white marble floors. “do not. Call me crazy.” She jabs a finger in my direction.

She is in no way intimidating, but with her intent being this questionable right now I watched her movements intently. I glanced between her the mess and her toppled chair. Today really is shitty.

When Emily doesn’t make a move to go sit back down I do a passive check on her.

Emily
Hp 10/10
Lv 4
EX 0

She doesn’t know what she’s going to do next.

Yeah, no. “listen, I had a long day at work. I’m tired, while this has been fun and all I think I should be headed home.”

I got up from my seat and got up to leave. Emily doesn’t move from her spot until I get to the door. once Ive closed it behind me I could hear the shatter of plates and the tumble of furniture.

I got into my still running car, happy to see that my exit was readily available for me to kick it. I buckled up this time and gave up on the extra cushioning. Too spent from the day to keep it up any longer. I was in the car, alone. No one was gunna see me looking alittle thinner than usual.

The drive home feels excruciatingly longer than my drive up here and even though I’m not using any extra magic at this point I start to feel dizzy. The headache from earlier has radiated from the spots behind my temples to my whole skull. It felt like someone was taking a chisel to the inside of it. I pull up into our driveway nearly side swiping pap’s car in the process. I shut the thing off and slammed the door behind me crossing the lawn with as much grace as a whimsun trying to fly with cement shoes.

Lightheaded I open the door and the first thing that greets me is the smell of paps cooking. I didn’t care that I could smell the tomato sauce and mozzarella. I just wanted to eat something. The food is sitting on the dining room table and I could hear paps rummaging around in the kitchen.

I don’t bother taking off my shoes or gloves and stumble over to the table, I start scarfing the food down without even sitting down.

“I THOUGHT I HEARD- WHAT THE FUCK SANS.”

I barely look up from the bowl of spaghetti that I’m eating without a fork. Paps is standing there by the kitchen holding a second dish of what I think might be a cobbler or something, I don’t know I’m eating. He just stands there, jaw agape as he watches me devour the bowl. Once I was done I finally sit, and I breathe feeling slightly more normal. My headache is still there but along with my appetite it’s been satiated, if only barely. He sets down the dish and walks across the room to close the door that I had left wide open.

I feel paps watch me as I peel off my sauce covered gloves and check the damage on my shirt. It’s ruined. Oh well.

“YOU DONE?”

“I think I could eat more actually.”

Paps strides over to the table and crossed his arms. He’s looked me up and down taking in how the spaghetti stained shirt hung off of me like a garbage bag and he squints. “WHY NOT JUST TELL ME YOURE ‘LOW’ INSTEAD OF RISKING GETTING HURT AGAIN.”

I opened a socket to look at him. “wasn’t bad this morning. Things happened today that made me have to use more magic than I thought I would.”

“THAT EXPLAINS WHY YOU TOOK THE CAR.”

“what? a monster can’t go for a drive when he feels like it?”

“ WHEN THAT MONSTER IS YOU, NO.”

Honestly, I couldn’t argue with that, it was a lot more convenient to just take short cuts where I needed to go. Cars meant maintenance, gas and having to wait to get to the destination. I forked more spaghetti into my bowl and Paps sat down across from me beginning to make his own plate. I was too tired to argue, so I just nodded.

“dinner’s great tonight paps.”

“I KNOW.”

Chapter Text

I sat at my counter skimming through a particularly scandalous magazine depicting some of mettatons tales about the trail of broken hearts he’s left behind, and for lack of better words the sex-capades he participated in with these lovers. As bad as I felt for the poorly masked identities of his lovers I was thoroughly entertained by the ridiculous life this monster seemed to live. Honestly, it read a lot like cosmopolitan did. Though there were definitely parts in it that made me wonder if this was meant to be read in private. It was so outrageous though, that it was hard to put down.

The reason why I was reading this magazine in the first place was because I was trying to get my mind off of what happened yesterday. I hadn’t felt real fear like that in such a long time. I knew the feeling was my own but for once… I could have sworn I felt it from him too.

That was hard to keep in mind when all I could remember was the flash of sharp teeth and pitch-black voids of his sockets. So, when he just stood there coiled up like he was about to spring; I didn’t know what to do.

The face he made when he told me that it was just some sort of ‘cold’ said that even he knew the lie was about as airtight as a screened door. But it wasn’t as if I could say without a doubt that he wasn’t sick, he had been acting strange after all. I just hoped that he felt better than he did yesterday.

Maybe he was reacting to me almost reading him. He seemed like a very cool and collected individual. Not being able to use my other sense to get an idea of how he felt was throwing me for a loop. if I was right about him feeling me probing around to read his emotions, then it wouldn’t be that much of a surprise. It wouldn’t be the first time someone was creeped out by that.

It wasn’t as sharp as everyone else’s emotions but it was like trying to watch t.v. on a staticky screen. It was frustrating, to say the least. I never wanted to intrude on something so private but to be given hints, glimpses of something without answers was torture. because now I was left thinking about them until I could figure out what exactly I was picking up.

Everything was too fuzzy to make out, only the main things would show through. So when I felt the familiar sinking feeling of melancholy….I just wanted to make sure he was alright.
I hadn't expected his reaction to be so still and so explosive at the same time. I could feel the palpable electricity in the air, and the way it crackled against my skin. For once, the feeling was not connected to any emotion that I’ve ever felt but I still knew what it meant. It meant I was in danger.

I closed my eyes trying not to linger too much on the memory of my blood running cold and the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. Not that closing my eyes helped at all.

When he had snapped out of it I hadn’t felt any mal intent or anything that suggested that he wanted to hurt me. I didn’t get any of that through the muddled feelings I could read. I did catch something like guilt though.
So when he told me he was sick I went along with it. How else could he have explained what happened?

“whatcha reading there may?”

My head whips around to look away from the magazine that I was zoned out into, having failed at distracting myself from my thoughts. It was fuko giving me a particularly goofy look, if she had eyebrows she would be waggling them if her mood was anything to go by.

My face heated as I followed her gaze down to the page I had been caught staring at. The bold large print reading ‘mettaton’s tips for a spicy sex life’ was sprawled across the page. Realization hit me and I dropped the magazine like it burned me. I knew the heat on my face had nothing to do with fuko being literal fire.

“nothing important.” I said too fast and too loud.

Fuko laughed amicably “its nothing to be embarrassed about you know. It’s a good read, but unless your arms can stretch five yards and tie into knots, I don’t think it’s for you.” She trails off as she sees my face go from mildly embarrassed to mortified. “oh….Oh?” I could see understanding hit her.

I shrink down in my seat not wanting to have this conversation and have someone else tell me that my personal choices were wrong.

She notices my obvious discomfort and “why the face? its not a thing you should be embarrassed about, I was just surprised,” fuko pats me encouragingly on the shoulder. “that’s not very common among monsters, is all.”

I eyed fuko, returning her smile sheepishly. Fukos smile widens deviously in turn “but if you want any tips or tricks in the future just know I have an open door policy”

I snorted at that. “Isn’t that what bosses say to employees?”

“Yup I’m the ceo of good times.” She said proudly.

Any tension I had was gone looking at fuko who couldn’t be happier than she was now, puffing her chest out in pride.

I snorted a laugh and relaxed in my seat leaning into the counter with crossed arms. I let her easy-going mood lull me into something more relaxed myself. For once this topic felt like I didn’t have to tread lightly to participate in it.

She seemed open enough with her opinions and even now I wasn't feeling any judgment, I wondered if it was okay to ask...

“what…what’s it like?” the words were out before I second guessed myself.

It wasn’t like I was so innocent that I didn’t know how it all worked and what-not but I never did see the appeal. I’ve heard just as many horror stories for the first time than Ive heard claims of drug like highs from the aftermath. I could ask Emily but honestly her opinion was somewhat biased, considering she wanted me to ‘just get it over with’ so we could compare experiences. It would be nice to talk to someone unbiased, and fuko seemed like a very thoughtful person despite her occasional teasing.

Fuko just looks at me wide eyed. Her sparkling surprise quickly joined a feeling like crackling. It felt like drinking soda and pop rocks. I couldn’t help but smile at the pleasant emotion. She hadn’t been expecting me to ask.

“well, monster fun feels a whole lot different than the human variety that’s for sure.” She says thoughtfully, surprisingly not taking the chance to poke fun like she usually would.

But then her words sunk in and It was my turn to look wide eyed. Was she saying she’s had experience with the ‘human variety’? Fuko freezes and her flames changed color, Her green flames going an electric teal. I guess I got my answer.

For once I couldn’t help it. It was my turn to grin. “boyfriend?” I ask, it felt good to be on the teasing side for on. I did a shimmy excited to talk about an aspect in her life instead.

Fuko looks around the store as if to look and see if there were any other patrons. I knew there weren’t though. She leans in close. “Okay listen. I haven’t told anyone yet, but I feel like I can trust you with this. but if you repeat this to anyone...” This is the first time I’ve seen fuko this serious, all playfulness gone replaced by something grave that couldn’t be ignored.

The gravity of her words didn’t go over my head. I hadn’t thought humans and monsters dating was such a big issue, I mean sans and Emily were dating. But I nodded anyway.

“I promise,”

Fuko stared at me for a moment, and I could feel her worry dissipate and her glowy enthusiasm took over.

“he’s this really sweet guy I met a while before I met you. He’s not like any monster I’ve ever been with either.”

She twirled her thumbs half looking like she wants to gush a geyser of words about how much she likes the guy and half like she can’t find the exact words.

“…He treats me like my own person, like it doesn’t matter where I came from or who my family is, I’m just… me.” Her grin widens at her last words, her eyes not on me as her flames plumed blending from teal to white hot and back again.

I smiled at her warm affection, and her talking about him in such a loving way.

“He seems sweet,” I couldn’t help but beam along with her.
“He really is, but he’s a idiot. On our first night you wanna know what he did?”

“what?”

“he decked out all walls of the room in these like itty bitty Tiny mirrors? I don’t know what else to call them. And I was expecting the boring candles and cliché rose petals, but no, plain room and those itty bitty mirrors.”

I flushed, having indirectly been called out for having wanted those exact clichés.

“so he does some stuff, and I start burning white and only then could I see why he put up those mirrors. I reflected off them and the patterns they made around the room from their reflections were, so beautiful. Prettier than anything else I've ever seen.”

“and you know why that doofus did it?” she asked. She took my curious expression as my answer and continued within the same breath.

“Because he remembered me asking him if he thought dating a ball of literal fire was weird. So his response was that room and all of the prismatic colors bouncing off the walls. Then this cheese ball just goes ‘this is how I see you,” her teal flames plumed.

I sighed smiling along with her. I had to make a mental note that if we ever revisited this topic that I should focus on blocking out these intoxicating feelings. Though trying to find my way out of these ambrosia and honey steeped emotions now would be a pointless effort.

If she didn’t know that this was more than just a crush for her partner then I wouldn’t be the one to tell her. “you’re very lucky.”

“yup and then he showed me just how much he appreciated my form.” Fuko winked.

I swallowed wrong and coughed patting my chest, there goes my teasing mood. “that’s nice” it came out more like a question than I had meant it to.

“oh it was.” Fuko chuckled “but I just spilled the beans so its your turn, spill some sappy corny stories about you and your boyfriend.”

“how did you know I had a boyfriend?”

“I’m pretty sure everyone does, I created that system at the party for a reason you know. Make sure people know who is and who isn’t up for grabs.”

She must have been talking about the bracelets. I felt like that party was never going to stop haunting me.

But fuko had asked a good question, when was the last thing we did together? I thought about what romantic instances we’ve had where he did something outright spontaneous.

“he got me this huge stuffed plushie once for my birthday.”

“oh, was it like your favorite animal or something?”

“not at the time no, but it was the first time a guy got me a plushie.”

Fuko waited as if she was giving me room to say more. When I didn’t her flames flickered at the same time that she blinked. “ah,”

I could feel something akin to pity from her but not quite.

The feeling was uncomfortable and made me want to fidget under her gaze. I glance away and the magazine caught my eye. Looking for something to change the subject with I inadvertently ended up remembering what I was so worried over earlier.

“hey fuko?”

“yeah?”

“when monsters get sick what kind of remedies do you use to get better?”

Fuko seemed both confused and grateful for the change in topics. It wasn’t the subtlest Segway to escape the awkward topic but It was the first thing I could think of.

Luckily I could feel the relief seep into the edge of her mood and she had no problem following this line of conversation.

“sick? we don’t get sick. We only get weird if were dying or if were about to split.”

I felt my stomach drop.

“What Dying ?split? ”my mind raced with images of monsters just keeling over or splitting in half.

“Yeah split, like they’re expecting.”

I blinked and untensed my shoulders. The building horror lessening as I calmed down, deciding not to think too hard about why ‘split’ was slang for pregnant

“so you just catch a cold and then die? Out of nowhere?”

“ yes? I mean no? look I’m not supposed to talk too much about this but to put it simply, us being….” She looks for the right word.

“I guess you would call it depressed?” her face twisted as if she wasn’t sure that was the right one . “for long periods of time can put our magic out of whack. Fuck around and not take care of it and you die. Just like your humans and your hearts sort of.” She said nonchalant. As if what she just said wasn’t horrifying.

“what??”

sans was dying? Was that why he acted like that? I replayed the events of yesterday in my mind, he had felt off, but he had also been afraid. More than anything though he felt emotionally exhausted. That could explain the lack of libido too considering fuko had no problems being active from the sound of things.

So far it sounded a lot like the same symptoms as depression.

“ is there a kind of doctor you can go to for that? Or a type of therapist?”

I could feel fukos foggy confusion creep into our conversation even if she didn’t show it outwardly. No doubt she was wondering why I was getting so upset over this .

Fuko shook her head “I don’t know what a therapist is but no, we don’t have doctors for that sorta thing. It’s really rare so don’t worry about it, If it was happening it would be pretty obvious.”

I could picture his blacked out sockets and how wrong it all felt. Did that fall within the realm of what she meant as ‘obvious’?

I nodded.

**

We talked a little longer, but unfortunately she couldn’t stay, having to go so she wouldn’t be late she said. She had never said where she was headed but I absently wondered if she visited her boyfriend after her visit with me. Without her company I had little to no distractions to keep my mind from wandering. Well nothing other than the few customers who had noticed that we were open today and eagerly stocked up on goods while they still could. No one knew when lulu would want to open up again this week.

Around closing Lulu came up to the front to collect the till, giving me an apologetic wilted smile. Which made sense, she had appeared busy all day multitasking stocking and helping customers. I had offered multiple times to help and she always waved off the offer, telling me that I was helping plenty as is. I couldn’t help but watch her restlessly wanting to get up from my seat and help her with a box or something.

“you okay lulu?”

She takes a moment for my words to register, like she hadn’t realized that I was talking to her, even though we were the only two in the store.

“hm? Yeah. Sorry, last few nights have been rough. Just worried about ‘lina.” Lulu unlocks the till and pulls it out. the gold coins jingled and clattered inside.

“why, is there something wrong?”

Lulu shakes her head. “not anything horrible, it’s just me worrying over nothing.” She heads in the direction of the back where her office was but stops before she walks out of view. “you don’t have to wait up by the way I'm going to be a while.”

“you sure?”

“yeah I wont be headed home anyway so it’s fine. I’ll probably be closing down the shop for the next few days”

lulu nods and continues off to her work woodenly, disappearing behind the towering aisle.

Most people would love to hear that they didn’t have to work and they would still receive pay but I on the other hand couldn’t help but feel disappointed. While I would always feel more than grateful if not guilty for the supplemental pay while the store was shut down I would still miss her company. Even if we didn’t talk all that much when we got home, having someone there for the last few nights was nice.

“goodnight lulu,” I waved goodbye even though she couldn’t see and headed off to my car.

The short car ride left me with my muddled thoughts and morose feelings. I cracked the window but the cool night air didn’t help at all ease the feeling of loneliness. I barely registered that I hadn’t needed to talk to the security guard as I rode past, he had opened the gate having recognized me in my car before I pulled up and just like that I was in my little driveway of the empty house.

I only resurfaced from my spiraling thoughts when I put the key into my door and stared into the silent dark living room.

I stood there in the doorway not feeling any real urgency to spend the night here alone again.

When had I gotten so dependent on the company of other people? I should be relieved to not feel the emotions of anyone else. To have my feelings to myself.
But I wasn’t.

Reluctant, I still shuffled into the house. I still lock the door behind me. I still stand there in the silent room. I sighed not feeling like heading to bed just yet. I was still too wound up from my thoughts today to be able to sleep.

I left the lights off in the hopes that it would promote any kind of feelings of rest. The room wasn’t pitch black though, it was a full moon tonight. The moon cast its light down on the mountain and the city that sat at the base of it.

The moonlight cast its gentle resplendent light into the living room tinting anything the light touched into an ambient blue. I decided not to turn on the lights as I stared, wanting to preserve this clear night a little longer.

I drop my purse haphazardly by the door and left to go get a drink and in a last minute decision I got a glass of wine instead. Pouring myself a modest glass but taking the bottle with me back into the living room. I took a seat on the floor against the cool wall.

From this position I had a perfect view of the full moon. It shone so bright that the light drowned out any glimpse I could get of the stars. Just leaving the solitary view of the full moon up there in the night sky.

I sipped on my wine and I remembered that stupid planetarium show.

Was the sun still chasing her or had they really agreed to just be lonely together. If they had, did the sun still care about her.

Here I am calling the show stupid but I’m the one thinking about an inanimate rock and a fire ball’s love life. I sighed, then again for all I knew that was a possibility now. Even in the middle of my lingering thoughts I noticed that my glass was empty and begrudgingly refilled it generously this time.

I desperately wanted to have someone’s company right now. The drinks had turned into a handful, and soon I was drowning in a sea of my own thoughts. I really wanted to be with someone right now. I checked my phone and upon seeing that Scott hadn't responded to my good morning text. maybe he opened it and forgot to reply. Or maybe today was stressful and he came home and just crawled into bed.

Maybe I’ll do him a favor and call him. Maybe he missed me as much as I missed him. fukos pitying look flashed across my mind along with the avalanche of maybes that I felt like I couldn’t claw my way out from under, only hardened my resolve to call him. I listened to the dial sound biting my lip. It would be nice to hear his voice right now. And for a moment my heart is as light as air when I hear the phone pick up.

“Scott?“

But it wasn’t his voice. It was just the voicemail, which coldly told me that the voicemail box was full, and gave me a curt goodbye before the line disconnected. I sucked in a sharp intake of breath and chugged the rest of my glass, biting the inside of my cheek blinking away the unwelcomed blurriness in my eyes.

My throat felt tight and I slumped down by the kitchen hugging the bottle of wine. the cool glass against my cheek did nothing to soothe the aching I felt in my chest as I leaned on it.

In a last ditch effort I sent a text to Emily, but it was left on read. Expending all my options I glanced down at my abandoned glass, looks like the bottom of the bottle was fast approaching and it didn’t look like I was going to find anything good when I got there. I closed up the bottle telling myself that I didn’t need to finish off the rest just because I started it. Even if there was a tiny nagging voice that told me to drink till I felt better.

I wasn’t stupid, I knew what this feeling was but I also knew that chasing a good feeling only led you to a dead end or worse…rock bottom. I knew I could work to keep from going over the edge but I had friends who would act on it if they were left to sink into this feeling. Emily was a good example of this, If I let myself get swept away by this then who would be there for her when she needed someone?

I thought about how when she had to stay with her mother while her father was away on business she’d have bruises. How she used to cut herself after his ‘talks’ with her. I stayed up late with her those nights to make sure she wasn’t alone in her thoughts, just in case.

In turn, on nights when my mother was being herself and I didn’t know who to believe she gave me her company and kept my mind off of it . We had to stay strong for each other. Without support, we were only as strong as our resolve to get through it. Everyone deserves someone they could lean on.

Wallowing in my self pity and overall depressive state as I overturned sad memories in my head I remembered fuko talking about how for monsters, this was deadly. It must have been scary to know that just feeling like this could mean death for you if you were a monster.

Something akin to morbid curiosity filled me, how did monsters live then? Everyone felt depressed sometimes, even I had my goth phase. Although gratefully it was short.

Was it foreign to monsters then? If it was so uncommon that there weren’t any doctors to treat it then it would probably be a shock if you started to feel that way.

I tried to imagine what that would be like. To be given a terminal diagnosis with questionable means for the cure. The thing was though, I didn’t have to imagine it. I could vividly remembered the fear roll off of him that mirrored my own, rigid and claustrophobic like being rooted to the spot but feeling like you wanted to run and never stop.

I look up at the ceiling. Did he have anyone he could go to about this? Fuko didn’t seem like she knew that he was. Emily wasn’t available right now for me to ask. So I sluggishly picked up my phone from where I abandoned it when I couldn’t get anyone to answer.

I turned the phone over and over in my hands watching the dizzying movement. I don’t know sans well, but I didn’t need to know him to let him know he had a friend if he needed one.

I called him, and after a while he picks up. He almost does it on the first few rings.

“uh, hello?”

“hey sans.”

“that’s my name, don't wear it out.”

“ I wont,”

“so…what has you calling at well midnight?”

“well, I didn’t know it was midnight,” I said matter-of-factly, My tongue felt thick but I couldn’t hear any lisp so I continued “I’m sorry for calling out of nowhere but it was important.”

“this about Emily?”

“no this is about you. I know why you were feeling so off yesterday, and I just wanted to tell you that you don’t have to keep it a secret.”

“…..what?”

“ I wont tell anyone else I just figured it would be good to talk about it.”

“I told you, I was sick,” there was a hard edge to his voice with a conviction that sounded like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince me.

“it’s okay I already know, I have the same problem”

The other end is silent for a long time. “fine. let’s not talk about this over the phone, where are you right now?”

“oh, if that’s what you want then sure. I'm at the house-“

The call disconnected I felt air whoosh by my face. When I pull the phone away from my ear to look down at it I see something move from the corner of my eye. I glanced over to see what it was and I screamed. jolting up and throwing my wine bottle all at once.

The wine bottle missed it’s target shattering on the wall a good foot or so away. .Across the room the figure was unflinching as they stood there in the dark. My heart Hammered and for a moment I wasn’t sure that my eyes weren’t playing a trick on me. My glasses had fallen off when I jumped up, after all. I squinted, and to my horror the broad towering silhouette was unmistakable. a man was in my house.

“Who- how?” I stammered. My mouth working even more sluggishly than my brain. How had they gotten in? hadn’t I locked the door?

They took a step forward and I took a step back. I held my phone reared back in a wordless threat to throw that at them too since I had no other weapon. When They continued to walk towards me, I didn’t hesitate to throw it at the man. They didn’t even need to dodge, my poor aim caused by a drink too many. I continued my retreat until Moonlight cast across my intruder’s skeletal face his red eye lights cutting through whatever darkness that was left. Wait, skeletal? I stopped in my tracks. Relief flooding through me.

“Sans? How-“

But sans didn’t stop his advance and stalked forward. Not taking my chance to escape was a mistake.

I had no time to react before he shoves me up against the wall. If I was drunk before I was cold sober now. the movement of it was dizzying, my eyes focused themselves on his teeth.

Sans leans down with a snarl of a grin his dark sockets level with mine, his voice deep and threatening.

“let’s have a T A L K.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 15

His hands firmly gripped my upper arms. pinning me against the wall, where he leaned over me, his face no more than a few inches from mine. His sockets devoid of light in the already dark room. The darkness within them absorbing more light than the deepest of blacks.

My head swam with the unhelpful remnants of my inebriation. I didn’t struggle as I tried to wrap my mind around the situation.

Had he tripped and grabbed me to steady himself? No that wasn’t right, he was too tall for that, he would’ve crashed into the wall before he would have had to grab onto me.

I looked at the half snarl on his face that bared more teeth then Ive ever seen from him, they glinted with the remnants of light that he hadn’t obscured with his massive frame. Was he angry then? But why?

In my dazed thoughts I felt fear creep into the edges of my understanding, knowing that deep down somewhere that I should be terrified right now. That I should be very careful.

The thing was though, I wasn’t scared. I didn’t feel the oozing hate or the disgusting caress of murderous intent that I knew meant that talking wasn’t an option or that I would need to defend myself.

I prodded at the inkling I had earlier trying to coax out the feeling that I knew I should be having, but it never made a re-appearance. Not even when his body language screamed danger, and I knew that I should be looking for an escape route instead of continuing this conversation.

My extra sense lulled me into an irrational sort of ease that had settled me into a calm stupor I couldn’t explain. Along with his almost numbing presence, I may as well be sitting with him having tea.

“now one last time I’m gunna ask you, what the fuck do you think you’re talking about “ His already deep voice dropping lower into a rumble that could only be described as a growl.

The numb feeling he usually gave me wasnt anything more than a thin veil over what he felt now. It was like seeing the silhouettes of his emotions from behind a sheer curtain. In this case his emotions stood at odds with his words. Sure he was angry but more than that he was afraid. Horrified even.

I worked to steady my voice choosing to ask the easier question. If he was reacting like this maybe there was a reason why that I just wasn’t getting

“why are you angry at me? All I did was ask if you were okay.” My quiet voice sounded loud in the silent room, and while it came out lower than I had wanted it to I had no worries about him being able to hear me.

“So now you’re going to play dumb?” He inched closer barking the words at me in irritation, his teeth still on full display.

“Play dumb? What are you even talking about! You told me you were sick and I-“

My words came quieter now. “thought you were falling down.”

Barely concealed shock crosses his features and his grip loosens along with it. It only takes an instant before he regains a handle on his features. the grip tightened two-fold the sharp tips of his fingers digging into my arms. I sucked air through my teeth at the twinge of pain.

“how. the fuck…do you know about that.” He asked, his words measured.

I watched him wearily. was he really falling down then?

“Im sorry I wasn’t supposed to say anything about it, but I was worried and-

Sans lets go of me abruptly, something dawning on his face. His eyelights returned and he straightened. The sneer he had before melted away into and irate scowl.

“it was fucking fuko wasn’t it.” It wasn’t a question, not really. His voice was calmer now, and his eyelights scoured my features for his answer. His brow bones low over his sockets in a critical squint.

I didn’t know what face I was making but if it looked anything like I felt, then he would easily see the nervousness and guilt there.

Reading just that, suddenly Sans groaned holding his head leaning back. Even With his face out of view with his skull tilted up towards the ceiling I could still see his exasperation.

“I swear Im gunna hose her down the next time I see her.” He growled more to himself than me.

Hose her down? He wasn’t serious, was he? I tried not to imagine what that would do to a fire elemental. I scrambled to get the words out to lessen whatever trouble my unintentional slip might have caused her. “It’s my fault, I wanted to help. I figured I would reach out so you wouldn’t-

Sans eyes were back on me now the rage on his face very present. the fear that him had dissipated, all traces of it gone. The numbness that had only been a sheer curtain before was transitioning back into its usual sucking abyss.

“LISTEN. I DON’T KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THAT STUPID HUMAN BRAIN OF YOURS BUT WHAT GOES ON WITH ME AINT NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS”

I shrunk back at his volume, I didn’t like being yelled at. He hadn’t raised his voice this entire time and while the low rumble of his voice had been unsettling, I still preferred that over this.

He watched my reaction and he deliberately put some space between us. he worked to reign in whatever rage that overcame him. He struggled to work to keep his voice low, to unsquare his shoulders and slouch like he normally did. Though for all the effort all it did was make him look uncomfortable and stiff instead of casual.

“listen.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets not really knowing what to do with them now that he didn’t need to have me pinned.

“I ain’t weak, I ain’t fragile and I DON’T need some itty bitty human playing babysitter to my ass.” His words had a bite to them that weren’t necessary for what he was saying. I looked up at his towering frame and wondered how anyone thought that he was fragile.

Fragile was the wrong word, fragile was what you used for flowers and fine china. That word just seemed wrong to use to describe him with, not with the way he held himself like if he wanted to, he could break me without any effort. Even the air around him seemed almost menacing. The night that had looked so calm and blue before was now tinted red with something I couldn’t make out from my peripheral. I hadnt taken a glance to confirm that it wasn’t a trick of the light.I didn’t want to be the first one to break eye contact now.

Staring up at him and really assessing him I felt stupid for having worried. His steely expression gave nothing away, the off feeling I had gotten from him yesterday was impossible to read within the void that pulled at even my own emotions. He was big boned, the arms of his sweatshirt strained against his thick forearms. His hands which were now shoved into his pockets were more than twice the size of mine. No doubt with hands like those he didn’t need a weapon. during my own mental assessment of him my eyes never truly left his face so when his grimace faltered, my attention was pulled down to his teeth. I had noticed them before, but I only just now realized just how sharp they were. Without the filter of my own ability I saw him, objectively. As he was. He could be a threat If he had wanted to be. if either of us was fragile right now, it was me.

I kept my eyes on his, the lights suspended in his dark sockets not leaving mine either as his stare bore a hole into me. “I don’t understand, was what I did even that bad? All I was trying to do was be a friend and make sure you were alright.”

I almost didn’t get to finish my sentence before he barked a laugh “friend?”

“What is this grade school? You think that just cus you cozy up to a few monsters that we’re suddenly buddy-buddy?”

That stung. Not because I was disappointed but because I was embarrassed. It wasn’t like I was stupid; I hadn’t thought that we were extremely close or anything, but I hadn’t thought we were on bad terms either. The worst thing was that he was right, I barely knew him.

The sting of his words finally broke through the numbing pull, stopping the bleed of my emotions like a tourniquet. Without everything being leeched away from me I could feel my own emotions again. As if to compensate for the lack of feeling for this long everything emotion felt so much stronger. The anger gave way to a burn that ultimately ignited my rage. The heat of it spreading across my face and my chest as I balled up my fists. Why was I still standing here letting another person do this to me again? Was this funny to him, to talk down to me when a simple butt out would’ve done the job. He made his point abundantly clear so I should do the same.

“Get out.”

“huh?”

“I said. Get out.” I gestured angrily to the door.

Sans blinked. I didn’t even give him a chance to respond.

“I’m happy we cleared that up, it won’t happen again. Now get out.” My voice rose with every word.

Sans stood stock still his jaw clenched. When he didn’t move I did. I got out from between him and the wall and stormed over to the door. He didn’t move to stop me.

“Get out.”

I opened the door and even held it open for him. I was almost too angry to notice that the door was still locked when I had gone to open it. I watched as he stood there in my hallway, my living room still tinted a sinister red, and his eyelights of the same color cut through the dim lighting as he stared at me. I couldn’t hear anything over what sounded like drums? If I hadn’t been holding the door open I would’ve thought the pounding was someone at the door.

It took me too long to realize that the thumping was the sound of my heart beating in my own ears as I stared down the skeleton standing across from me in my own home.

When sans strides towards me the nonchalant look he had struggled with earlier came naturally now. His eye lights were trained on my face as he approached.

The confidence that had surged up into a sad show of bravado wilted. my heart squeezed as he passed by me. Even though I wasn’t moving my stomach was doing flips, but even with my emotions relatively in check I still couldn’t figure out why.

I slammed the door behind him. I couldn’t be sure but with him gone It was like he took the hazy red lighting with him. Like he hadn’t visited at all. the forming bruises where the tips of his fingers had pressed too hard into my skin was proof enough that he had.

Now that I was alone, all the emotions that I had been too shocked or numb to feel crashed down on me. The fear that I hadn’t felt then devoured me now. The anger I had felt a moment ago returned with a vengeance and I was Fuming. I wish that I had told him off, yelled at him back. Had thought of it in the moment. I ran through all the other scenarios in my head. But it didn’t matter now, I would avoid him if I could help it.

The mix of the volatile feelings welled up with nowhere to go and my eyes watered in response. I blinked away the flustered moisture, swallowing to get rid of the lump forming in my throat. He had called me a stupid little human. An Itty bitty human. How would he liked it if someone called him an ashy bone man. I huffed at the insult that fell flat even to me. I chuckled to myself wryly.

I raked my fingers through my hair, exhausted. My heart still thudded against my chest, which was good considering. At least that was still working right. My thoughts flashed over to him towering above me again and I shivered, double checking to make sure that I locked the door.

I sighed; I couldn’t stop running through what he said to me. Overanalyzing every word. It was a bad habit when I got anxious like this or when I was yelled at. Besides the insults something stuck. It wasn’t like sans was wrong, I shouldn’t assume that monsters would want to be friendly with me, even if I could feel that a monster doesn’t outright hate me doesn’t mean I should go out of my way to befriend them. But that was usually just a byproduct of me trying to ease their nerves, not force them into companionship.

I glanced down at the broken wine bottle I had chucked at sans in my state of panic. I stared down at it wishing that it hadn’t missed. The bottle wasn’t recognizable, or it wouldn’t be if the neck of the wine bottle had shattered along with the rest of it. I frowned.

Getting out the dustpan and broom being careful not to step on any of the shards

I guess I would have to wear shoes around the house for the next few days I sighed to myself. just another thing that didn’t go the way I thought it would.

Having cleaned up the mess I decided to go to sleep for the night. Resigning to finish picking up any stray pieces of glass in the morning.

My mind replayed the events of tonight and I fumed. What had I done wrong? He was the one who wanted to come over.

I climbed into bed only having taken the time to kick off my pants before I did. the exhaustion of riding my own personal emotional roller coaster took its toll.

It wasn’t long before I fell into a dreamless, restless sleep. I woke with a start several times throughout the night checking to make sure my bedroom door was locked before climbing back under the covers. So, when daybreak rolled around and unconsciousness still eluded me I decided that trying to force sleep any longer wouldn’t do me any good.

Climbing out of bed in my clothes from last night, I resolved myself to take a shower, hoping that warm water would help me relax. I looked through my closet for a comfy pullover hoody and paused when I came across some pale-yellow sheer fabric and pulled it out. It was the dress from when I had that girls day with undyne and…her mate?

I laid it out as I thought about wearing it for the day. I had bought this with visiting Scott in mind.
I bit the inside of my cheek. Im not sure if it was the lack of sleep or the Idea of staying here that dulled the fear of going home but giving Scott a visit sounded really nice right now.

Hadnt I promised him that I would visit this week anyway?

I searched for my phone, hoping to send him a heads up text. I couldn’t find it anywhere in my bedroom. Slowly, dread began to dawn on me as I remembered that I may or may not have used my phone as a projectile last night. I covered my mouth in horror as I tried to remember. Hoping against hope that I remembered wrong.

Quickly, I headed over to the possible resting place of my phone. I felt the unseasonably cool air on my bare legs and I was reminded that I forgot to put on a pair of pants, not that it mattered. With no one else in the house I didn’t have to worry about being caught without them.

I stopped in my tracks as the morning light caught on the shards of broken glass the littered the floor.

The finer details of last night that had eluded me came rushing back, and I suppressed a groan. I had forgotten about the wine bottle. I was lucky that I hadn’t stepped on any of this last night in the dark.

I frowned at my bare feet and then at the glass as if it had chosen to be in my way on purpose. I spotted my phone along the far wall of the dining room on the floor. Face down.

I massaged my temples trying not to think about the probability of it being shattered too when I picked it up. Hopefully, if I didn’t think about it too much the odds would be in my favor.

I turned and headed into the kitchen, taking the time to grab myself the drink. Just Stalling really, the remnants of glass would still be there when I finished. I chugged it down before snatching the broom from its spot between the fridge and wall irritably. Being too lazy to go back and get shoes I opted for being extra thorough with my sweeping and even damp mopping the area to pick up anything else I missed.

Even though I didn’t care so much if a rice size piece of glass scraped me up or not I felt my heart clench at the idea of a shard of glass going through lulu’s foot.

When that was done, I emptied the glass into the trash. the shards of glass made an unsatisfying clatter when I did.

Procrastinating this any longer wouldn’t stop my phone from being cracked if it already was. I went over to where it lay. Pausing to look down at the back of it before gearing up to flip it over.

When I did, I plop down from my crouched position onto my ass.

The screen was so cracked and shattered that the darkened screen was reduced to a mess of white faucets and fissures where the glass splintered off. I swore that before I had turned it over some pieces had fallen off it.

I attempted to turn it on with no luck. The screen displayed nothing else but the white backlight and three bands of color going down the side. I ran my finger along the screen gingerly, looking at it with dismay when the screen almost knicked me

My phone was broken. I got up and sat it on the dining room table, face down so I didn’t have to keep looking at it. It wasn’t like I had to use the phone to get where I needed to go. I was already familiar with the route. Scott has been asking me to come visit for a month now so it shouldn’t be a problem if it’s a little more spontaneous than we’re used to right?

I thought about the alternative, I could get my phone fixed but wouldn’t that take a few days? I didn’t want to be here for that long.

So, in a split decision I started packing a few days’ worth of clothes. Just the essentials really, just the things I absolutely needed along with toiletries.

I briskly showered and got ready, letting my hair fall into its natural messy curls after I got out. I threw on the yellow dress that stared at me from where I had left it on my bed. Not even stopping to second guess myself in the mirror. I slid into a pair of flats snatching up my bag and car keys as I headed out the door.

***

The sky was leeched of all of its color, the clouds spread thin and far making it impossible to see the usual blue that made it seem endless. Like an upside-down abyss. Today with the clouds blanketing everything in white horizon-to-horizon helped it feel like it wasn’t so infinite, like above ground had a ceiling of its own. An end to the ascent above me. In contrast to the white sky above, the clouds above mt.Ebott were angrily rolling in.
The clouds that crowded the mountain looked like they hung too low, as if they were eager to start their downpour. the darkened roll of them warned of an approaching storm. Even if the overcast sky was a nice change, I was in no way looking forward to what the storms on the surface usually brought.

I sighed as I trudged through the park. I was still wore half of my pajamas from last night, not that anyone would be able to guess. I had switched out the sweatpants for jeans because according to paps, wearing pajamas in public were the sign of being a hopeless member of society; Or even worse, lazy.

To be honest, I couldn’t give a flying fuck if someone did think that or not. I just wanted to sit in my own house in my own damn pajamas and not do shit. I hadn’t slept all night last night, which was usually par for the course but this time it was caused by one large problem wrapped in a tiny annoying package. I Hadn’t been able to stop thinking about how close I had been to pulling may into an encounter. Obviously, I was relieved that I hadn’t because unjustified murder definitely wasn’t a headache I needed to deal with right now.

Even though I had gone over to Lulu’s place in the heat of the moment, it’s not like I had took any pleasure in doing what I had to. Even so, her reaction hadn’t been normal. She had seemed so lax when I had first appeared before she noticed them there. It was strange how she immediately started to throw things my way but calmed down the moment that she realized that it was me. The alarm in her dark eyes waning for a moment replaced by a relieved familiarity. Her brows furrowed and there was a small upturn of her lips in flustered amusement. As if she was both thankful and embarrassed that it was just me. Honestly that was what had saved her, I had gone over there to do more than just talk. I had gone over there to judge. If her reaction upon realizing it was me was just more fear, more terror I would’ve taken that as an admission of guilt. That she knew about my fucked-up ass magic. That her intentions were malicious. needless to say, if that was the case she wouldn’t still be around. Which in the heat of the moment made sense, but it doesn’t change the fact that is how it would’ve played out.

An intrusive morbid image of a crumpled form cropped up and I redirected my thoughts elsewhere, not wanting to linger on that thought more than I had to. Why was she trying to get all buddy buddy with me anyway? We might have talked here and there and played some video games but what was all this about me dusting out of nowhere.

Not like I could fall down even if I wanted to.

And I have wanted to.

As the tone of my thoughts crept into more and more into depressing territory, I felt rage begin to boil in the pit of my soul. Fuko and her goddamn mouth, I knew she couldn’t keep a secret to save her life but I woulda thought she could at least keep her lips zipped till we were given the okay to talk about this.

I shoved my clenched fists into my pockets lessening the grinding sounds of my sharp phalanges against my palms.

I stared into the bubbling brook of the water fountain that I was standing in front of. I squinted into the water at my rippled reflection pointedly ignoring the statue that sat at its center.

I would have preferred to be thinking about all of this at home where I could sort through my thoughts somewhere private. But papyrus was home watching Mettaton’s show. Paps didn’t know that in one timeline I had caught him, and he had gone into a very in-depth plan to emulate and perfect the idol’s ‘shoddy’ acting. Even paps knew that he wasn’t fooling anyone, but I saved him the embarrassment and went along with the lie.This was a different timeline though, which meant he was gunna kick me out of the house to watch it rather than get caught being entertained by the enemy.

So here I was at the park not really knowing where else to go. I stared into my own eye lights as I recalled the look in her eyes. Stubborn, angry, weary. Despite knowing that she should be, she hadn’t shown any fear. Not an healthy amount of it anyways. Her eyes weren’t panicked or pleading just very…focused.

I had been so caught up in my own head last night that I hadn’t been as careful as I should’ve been at that distance. While I might have more than one HP now, enough raw hatred could have me dust just as easy as any other monster out there.

Despite that fact, I had been stunned by her eyes too distracted by something that I saw there that I couldn’t get my guard up all the way. I couldn’t even figure out why, but I couldn’t help remembering them. Simple black and piercing. Her looking up at me from where I had her pinned against the wall, her eyes deep and endless behind her lashes.

Remembering it now made me angry. Pissed because whatever trick this was had an effect on me and mostly I should know better than to be distracted in a situation like that.

So when she finally turned away she had broken whatever trance she had put me in.

She had said something, but I had missed it. All I could say was ‘what’, my mind sluggish, my reflexes muted in a way that should of had me alarmed. But I hadn’t been.

So when she just repeated “get out” with the door open and a face that looked like I just spit in her cereal, the words started to make sense and I was dumb founded. This tiny human with her chin up to narrow her eyes at me was ordering me to leave.

What surprised me more was that I had. I mulled over that night feeling more confused and pissed each time. Had I been right when I had assumed that she had some sort of magic? Or had I had a sleepless night too many and it was messing with my skull?

The mental retracing of that night was interrupted by the of someone walking up to the fountain on the other side of the statue. I scowled down at my reflection. Oh god, why couldn’t a guy get a moment of privacy?

I side eyed whoever it was approaching me on the path from the opposite end of the fountain and I had to do a double take.

it was fucking may.

Of course, it was may.

I hadn’t thought I would run into her so soon. honestly, I had been hoping that I wouldn’t have to run into anyone at all for a while. I was about to ask her what her problem was, and if she actually did have a death wish.

To my surprise though she hadn’t noticed me, actually it turns out she wasn’t paying much intention to anything at all. It didn’t look like she had followed me here either.

I watched as she walked leisurely forward eyes closed and a hand outstretched towards the flowers that edged the path. Her yellow dress flowed hauntingly over her sun kissed skin in a breeze that I could barely feel over my bones. Her wild black hair stood in contrast with the dress causing the simple muted color to look bold against her skin.

Where was she going in this get up? Once again I was caught off guard by her capricious reaction. no one would fault her if she had avoided me and other monsters for a while but instead, she was taking a stroll in a park set up by monsters, which was frequented BY monsters. Like nothing happened.

I gazed down to where I had grabbed her arms and grimaced, I couldn’t check to see if I had left any marks since the billowy sleeves hid any sign of them. At least I hadn’t broken any skin last night, If I had I would’ve smelled the blood. It really is a good thing I filed down the points.

I scrutinized her face trying to figure out what she was doing, her knit eyebrows seemed to relax as she lingered over one of the perkier flowers, her perturbed expression becoming peaceful.

I had been so intent on watching her open expressions flit seamlessly from one to the next that I hadn’t been paying attention when she had opened her eyes, too focused on trying to figure out what she was up to that I hadn’t realized that she was now staring back or that I had unconsciously stepped around the fountain to get a better view.

Only snapping out of it when her face twisted into an irritable scowl.

I schooled my expression into something neutral as if my staring had been intentional, daring her to question me about it.

“Sup,”

May just looked at me incredulously as if I had slung a slur at her instead of a greeting.

She opened her mouth to speak, a hand going up to point scoldingly before falling back to her side. She must have changed her mind though because she clenched her fists instead, her jaw shutting with a near audible clack. Without a word she swivels on her heel and storms off the way she came.

Once again I was thrown for a loop. I hadn’t expected that reaction. I was ready for disgust, rage maybe. I didn’t see any of that in particular just chagrin. At least this reaction out of all of the other ones made sense. Sure, I had exploded on her in her own home but it was her own damn fault for sticking her nose into places where it didn’t belong.

Either way it wasn’t like I trusted her enough for it to matter. Regardless of why she was pissed it wasn’t like it mattered anyway, just because I had to meddle into her life in order to keep monster kind from getting sent back underground didn’t mean she had the right to interfere with mine just because she was curious.

I scratched the back of my skull, and shut my sockets thinking. Why was I even thinking so hard about this? Usually I wouldn’t be so hung up thinking about some human. At least, I never was with Emily anyway.

My mood darkened further at the prospect of having to face that issue at some point. My day which was already going so great before was going even better now, I thought sarcastically.

There was a roll and crack of thunder out in the distance past the mountain and I grumbled to myself. I hated that sound. Thunder would always sound like a cave-in to me, and even if I knew that it was irrational I couldn’t help but flinch at the sound.

Deciding that this was nature giving me the sign I needed to head home I do. Not giving a fuck if some human saw me teleport. They would just think that they imagined me here or that it was a trick of the eye.

I popped into my too clean bedroom and fell to my bed, my thoughts finally quieting to the sound of distant rain and the quiet squeaking of the ceiling fan above me. Finally, falling asleep to the sound of Paps yelling excitedly at the tv from downstairs.

Chapter Text

Hey guys, I'm so sorry that this isn't the chapter. With the holidays coming around and some secret Santa stuff going on, I will be late with this chapter. I cant focus on the editing and the smaller tweaks that this chapter needs until I get some other stuff done. I'll be back after NewYears (if not sooner!), but ill try to have a Christmas short ready for you guys if you're interested.

Again, I'm so sorry! I'll take this time to get the bones down on future chapters so they come out on time. Thank you, guys for reading. Stay safe for the holidays!

Chapter Text

Unhappily I awoke to a glare of light in my face. The window by my bed with its curtains withdrawn didn’t stop any bright white light from streaming in. I blinked blearily, trying to get rid of some of the blurriness that often-accompanied sleep, and was met with the white overcast sky and the snow tipped trees.

Wait. Snow? I sat up in my bed, a mess of blankets, and wild hair. I pressed my face against the frigid glass excitedly, trying to get a better look. I was pleased to see more than just a light dusting of the stuff. This was good enough to go sledding in. I knew just the hill that edged a clearing that could be found not too far into the woods.

Our house was a little cabin nestled in the forest of a remote town populated with a cozy number of people. The population was low enough that I knew most of them personally from the occasional visit into town or a visitor here and there.

That being said, I didn’t go to town often; we saved runs like those for essentials that we couldn’t provide ourselves, like milk or toilet paper. Or even more rare, a run into town to sell whatever extra meat dad couldn’t eat to himself or leather that he had processed. He didn’t take me on runs like those anymore though, since any surface that I came in contact with that the pelts or meat had touched sent me into a fit of tears or, worse, vomiting.

So with not many options to explore, I became very acquainted with the forest.

For as long as I could remember, the forest had been like an old friend with its inviting trails and secret meadows that were home to some of the prettiest flowers.

I was free to wander it so long as I didn’t stray too far from the house and remained within the property, which was marked off with a chicken wire fence that made up the border of our four-acre property.

So when I saw that the shimmery snow not only blanketed everything in sight but even dusted the side of the pine trees clinging to the sides of trunks as if it were climbing them like I often had, it would have been an understatement to say that I couldn’t contain my enthusiasm.

Not wanting to wait for another second, I leaped out of bed to find my shoes and snow coat. Not bothering to change out of the nightgown that I wore. The long thing stood out against my dark winter coat; the bright pink barbie print peeked from where my nightgown wasn’t quite covered by it.

Satisfied and eager to get a move on, I bust through my bedroom door with an excited exclamation building in my throat. Dad had to see! He had to come out with me to-.

The smile on my face waned, and my eyes bulged. The main living space that was a culmination of a kitchen, living room, and dining room was decked out in lights and wooden decorations, they hung from the fireplace and across the room with no rhyme or reason.

It was warm, almost too hot with my added layers, which made sense because the fireplace was blazing. The logs were engulfed in a flame that looked like they could’ve been its own living thing. If it weren’t for the fact that it didn’t give off any feeling or hum, I’d believe it was.

I looked away from the hungry fire. My eyes swept over one thing to the next, lingering on the tree that was for some reason also inside and just like everything else, decorated with things that hung from it that shimmered with trinkets the same way the snow did under the full moon. Where did all this cool stuff come from? Did dad do this? It was weird that it was nowhere near my birthday, and it wasn’t Dad’s birthday, So what were we celebrating? it finally dawned on me that dad wasn’t here in the living room to ask these questions.

I peeked into his room, it was situated right next to mine. It was the same size as mine, but it was free of toys and things scattered across the floor unlike my room. The tidy room was also absent of dad.

I quietly closed the door, and when I did, I could hear the repetitive ‘thwack’ coming from outside. I knew that sound.

I scurried outside, following the sound. The air that had felt sweltering a moment ago felt so good now. The crisp winter air was a welcomed change. I Swirled. Dancing through the snow instead of just walking through it, enjoying the look and feel of snowflakes falling and collecting in my eyelashes, in my hair, and the faux fur lining my hood.

I loved the winter. The winter meant quiet; it meant a break from the hum of the forest, from the feeling I got from the plants and flora. Even if it was a good feeling and I wouldn’t want to be away from it forever, I enjoyed the calm that these months brought.

I took comfort in the fact that if I really missed feeling them, all I would have to do was focus and feel it again. The gentle hum of them was more muted, this time of year more tranquil somehow. Like they were all sleeping waiting for spring.

I hummed the song that I had made-up, it wasn’t anything special, but it was what that feeling evoked. My dad had called it a lullaby for plants, often falling asleep to it himself when he had been sitting on the couch.

I'm still humming it when I find him by his work shed where like I had suspected; he was chopping wood.

The snow was deeper here, and the crunch of the snow beneath my feet was very audible now. I slowed my run into a hop, satisfied by the deep holes I made in the snow. I ignored the cold that touched my bare calves and the snow that threatened to slide into my doubled socks.

“Dad!” I called when I broke the line of trees that separated him from the house.

My father was a broad-shouldered man, and while he was tall, he was in no way lanky; anyone could see that he had strength by the size of his arms. As if to prove the point, he brought down his axe on another log, splitting it.

To any stranger who met us for the first time, they would never assume that he was my father. The similarities in our features were too few and far between. Even though he maintained a Sunkissed complexion in the winter, the difference in our skin tones was still confusing to the people who met us for the first time—many assuming that I was a niece or some other kind of distant relative of his.

This never made any sense to me because even if we didn’t look exactly alike we did have some similarities; we had the same deep black hair and eyes, we even shared the same wavey curly hair texture wasn’t easily tamed.

So while my skin tone was a few shades deeper than his, we couldn’t be more alike to me. I had even inherited his natural inclination to want to explore the deep woods. If the shared sense of adventure wasn’t proof enough to prove we were alike than I didn't know what was.

Dad didn’t seem cold in the slightest as he swung his axe down with practiced ease, his breath coming out in a huff fogging the area around him when it hits the cold air.

He was bundled up in a thick winter coat, thermal pants, and hiking boots, which were the only pair of shoes he owned anyway. Well, not if you included the one pair of dress shoes that he kept at the far end of his closet where they still sat today and collected dust.

In one final ‘thwack’ he brought his axe down again. He brought it down hard enough to split the log he was working on and situate the axe in the stump. He dusted off his hands and turned to me in a mischievous smile, eyebrows raised. “now may, do you feel like telling me why you’re out here in your nightgown?”

“Nope!” I ran and dove into the snow, only to get stuck there since it was too deep to get good enough leverage to right myself.

When getting up wasn’t an option, I decided to make a snow angel as if the whole thing had been intentional.

He laughed and I could barely see him make his way over to me from under my hood. I could feel him grip me under my pits and pull. I was lifted, but I wanted to protest when my feet didn’t return to the ground. I was set up on his shoulders, my damp clothes not doing anything to his jacket.

“can I stay out here a little longer?” I whined, noticing the direction he was heading in wasn’t where the good sledding spots would be.

He shook his head, “maybe tomorrow, for now let’s get back inside and get you warmed up before you get sick.”

I didn’t feel like I needed to get inside, I could easily feel the warmth of his own affection, and in the wake of it I couldn’t feel the icy bite of the snow or the chill in the air. It had felt like I was running across the yard on a bright and sunny day and not dead smack in the middle of winter.

A gust of wind swept over the snow, sending the powdery stuff into swirls and wisp. It was like the wind had a mind of its own. Appearing to dance just above the surface of the untouched ground. When the mini flurry passed through us, his thick eyebrows furrowed, and the warmth I felt from him diminished some. Replaced by an uptick of worry.

Even though he was only concerned, The feeling was intense. It felt like I was falling, but I knew that couldn’t be right. Dad had a good grip on me, and I knew he would never drop me but I still held on tighter. It felt like my stomach was plummeting like on those carnival ride drop-towers.

My dad, mistaking the reaction as being cold, quickened his pace.

This was good because, without his warmth, I suddenly felt numb. The iciness of the air began to sting on my bare calves.

It takes almost no time at all to get back to the house, the cabin that he had built before I was born. He had told me about how when his family lived out here, there were other houses just like this, but they’ve been since torn down or sold.

I hadn’t met my grandparents yet, but they lived closer to the city, where there weren’t any trees and where you could see your neighbors house from your porch.

It sounded like a place where mom lived.

He stepped through the threshold, making a show of ducking low so I wouldn’t hit my head, pretending that it was a near miss, which caused me to squeal.

He chuckled and lifted me off of his shoulders to sit me down on the two-seat sofa. He grabbed the throw blanket from where it sat folded over the armrest and shook it out to lay it over me.

He grabbed the poker from where It leaned against the wall and nudged a log into a better position. I shivered as I transitioned from frigid to toasty almost immediately.

“Better?” he asked, looking at me with a gentle smile.

My head bobbed emphatically. And he chuckled. He always felt warm, and it was always toasty around him. I sunk into the couch and pulled the blanket around me tighter, feeling way too comfy to move.

I could feel how satisfied he was that I looked warm and no longer in danger of catching that dreaded cold. He had gotten good at nursing me back to health, but that hadn’t meant that he enjoyed having to keep an eye on my fever all night. The satisfaction he felt gave way to ease that felt like letting out a much-needed breath, like a sigh. A happy sigh. I smiled.

I swung my feet as I sat, feeling content. I preoccupied myself with trying to place each emotion I felt with a sensation. This was a pass time that I participated in often. Even if I knew what some emotions were instinctually, sometimes it took me a moment to really place some of the hard ones. Sometimes I would have to figure out what the sensations that accompanied them felt like most.

Sometimes, very very rarely, emotions felt like a color. I quickly focused on what I felt now instead. Trying not to think too hard about the scary and intense sensations the ones with color brought. If there was one fact that I could take comfort in was that every emotion might be different, but it always felt like something.

Dad was always something warm, something bright. Almost to prove my point, he took off his coat to hang it up by the door, and the gentle smell of bonfire smoke wafted my way. We had made a fire not too long ago, but somehow it clung to him more than me. Like he couldn’t get rid of the smell even if he tried.

Not that I minded. He was warm like one, so why wouldn’t he smell like one too? It only made sense.

“you hungry, may? I was going to start breakfast, but I didn’t think you'd be up this early.”

He was right. Usually, I didn't get up till almost noon. Not unless he wanted to have a day when we learn about survival stuff. My nose scrunched up when I remembered the hunting lessons. Luckily he hadn’t changed his mind about making me eat meat.

I nodded again and plopped over on the couch, keeping my soaked feet dangling off of it and deciding to kick off my socks and shoes, letting them hit the floor.

After a while of watching the blazing fire and listening to him rummage around in the kitchenette, I asked, “ dad, how come the house looks all pretty today?”

I could feel the blinding stagger of his startle, and for a moment, it dazed me like a deer in headlights. When it passed, I asked a different question.

“how come we have a tree inside?” I sat up, still swaddled in a blanket. It wasn’t like I didn’t like the strange, decorated tree. I didn’t mind having some of the outside inside. I watched the glow of the flames in the fireplace flicker off the reflective ornaments, reds and greens and shimmery gold.

Even though I couldn’t see his face, there was something about the set of his shoulders and the way he put something down on the hot skillet that had made me think that I was in trouble. So, when I was hit with a deep sense of shame like a dark swath of clammy discomfort, I cringed. The feeling was so intense that I started to feel shame myself. This time it was my own.

I didn’t want him to feel this way; what had I said wrong? He couldn’t be ashamed of cutting down the tree. He did that all the time. Plus, the tree didn’t even notice really. The happy hum that I usually got from flowers and plants was different than the monotone resonance that I got from the ancient giant pines.

I just was about to open my mouth to say so when dad clears his throat. His shame hadn’t curbed any, but the rough edges of it were smoothed out with conviction. Cutting through some of the thick gloom.

“its…for Christmas.” He says quietly. He turns and gives me a sheepish smile.

I blink owlishly at him. “What's that?”

He blushed, filled with guilt. The feeling wasn’t unlike shame, it still felt uncomfortable and wrong, but I couldn’t place the exact difference.

then, averting his eyes. “ it’s… “ he flips whatever he’s making over on the griddle, and the sizzling grows. “it’s where families come together and celebrate that togetherness.”

“and chop down trees?”

He chuckles, “ yes, and you chop down a tree.”

“but isn’t that what we do every day?”

He paused, “huh, I guess we do, don’t we. “ he beamed.

“then every day is Christmas!” I declared.

Dad just had this melancholy type of happiness now, like it was a dull ache buried somewhere deep before it was quickly squashed and stomped till it was gone. Like that, my warm and happy father was back.

He slid what I could now see was a pancake onto a plate along with some fruit. He drizzled the whole thing with honey before making his way over to hand it to me.

I was quick to cut it up into squares and dig in. When I saw that he wasn’t eating, I paused, cheeks stuffed.

“aren’t you hungry too?” I asked around the mouthful of pancake.

He shook his head, “ not yet. I may eat something later, though.” He knelt by the tree and reached for the far back of it, pulling out a small, wrapped box. The wrapping paper was a simple tan, held together with a nice green ribbon.

I sat the plate down on the coffee table in curiosity, very preoccupied with what was in the little box.

“don’t be a bump on a log get over here,”

“I was going to wait till tomorrow since then it’d be officially Christmas. But who says we have to follow any rules?” He smiled conspiratorially.

I scrambled to get up, wasting no time to get a closer look at the present. “So Christmas has gifts too?” I asked, my eyes bulged.

He didn’t reply, but his happiness at my excitement was answer enough. He handed me the box, and I gently untied the thick satin ribbon; the paper was easily undone once it was gone. I opened the lid of the white box and inside sat a golden teardrop nestled in tissue paper.

Confused, I picked it up. It had weight to it, and when I held it up, I could see that inside was a little white flower with five petals. I twirled it around in my fingers, not even noticing the chain that it was on.

“it’s a mayflower that got trapped in some amber. I came across it when I was selling some of the stuff we made over the summer.”

“Its pretty”

I looked at him and smiled, “ am I named after a flower? “ I asked, thrusting the gem flower at him excitedly.

“ sort of, you both have may in your names. But if I'm being honest with you, you were named after your birth month.”

“But that’s boring!” I pouted.

“I know, I know,” he said, but the amusement in his voice didn’t at all convince me that he did

He helped me put it on. “this flower has been around for a long time, protected by the amber.” He backed away and I grasped the pendant between my fingers looking down at it. “so if you're ever sad, or if things get hard, then remember that if this flower could make it through everything to be here so can you.”

I looked up at him, confused. “but I'm never sad because you’re here.”

His face quirked up oddly, and I could feel something swelling, like a pot being overfilled “be any sappier, and you’ll end up looking like that flower there.” He said, a smile quirking at the pun, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes, I don’t mention that he’s sad. I could tell that he was trying hard to hide it.

“well, I’ll never have to leaf. So now we can have a thousand more Christmases!” I punned back, trying to coax some of that happiness back out of him, to drive out some of that sadness. I waited, but it only got worse. The bits that were left were slipping away like sand, and if anything now all that was left was this unbearable ache.

I did my best to hide the pain, to pretend I didn’t know. Dad wouldn’t be happy if he knew that he couldn’t hide this from me. I beamed back at him, clutching the pendant in my small hands.

He ruffled through my curly hair and smiled at me before kneeling and collecting me into a huge bear hug. “you're right. in that case, keep it as a good luck charm instead.”

I had hugged him tight then, not having to hide my face when I hugged him, and even though I felt the worst pain I had ever felt, I made sure not to cry.

That had been years ago. The memory of the warmth I had felt back then was very much like remembering a faded dream. I rolled the pendant between my fingers idly, and it looked so much smaller now than when I had first held it.

When I found the golden teardrop, it had fallen to the bottom of one of my organizational boxes that now held miscellaneous craft supplies. Funny how something that was supposed to help me organize was anything but.

I gently lifted it out of the mess, being careful with the thin chain that was slightly tangled up in the other junk that littered the bottom. I carefully smoothed the chain back out working out the kinks, before letting the chain pool in my palm.

I examined the pendant one last time before deciding to put it on. The chain felt cool against my skin in the warm room as I fastened the necklace around my neck. I gently held the pendant that rested against my collar hoping for some of the comforts he had said that this was supposed to bring.

‘if this flower could make it through everything and still be here so could you.’

I wish I could believe that.

Outside of my room window, snow began to fall, and I wondered if dad still thought about me. Even remembered me.

Mom’s house felt so unlike His, and it was cold in a soul-crushing way. Even though there was heat and the fact that it was snowing out made no difference on the temperature inside, this house lacked the warmth that had always accompanied my father’s presence.

My heart wrenched, remembering that no, I wouldn’t be feeling that warmth again. Mom and him made it clear that he never wanted to see me again, that he left me here because he was tired of dealing with me.

I checked my phone. It was December 25th. I sighed. The year was almost over. I didn’t leave my room that day, and my mother never came to make me. When night fell and Christmas passed, I sat there against my bed humming “have yourself a merry little Christmas “to myself while I watched the snow fall, hoping that I would have a good reason to enjoy this holiday one day.

Chapter Text

I got into my car, and it sputtered to life. I sighed. Hopefully, it wasn’t starting to act up. I had only gotten it fixed a few months ago, so I wasn’t In any hurry to get it fixed again.

The used suburban had been an impromptu buy from a neighbor trying to get rid of it. Which, at the time, I couldn’t have been more thankful for. I didn’t have much money at the time for something off the lot and to be honest, back then it didn’t matter. I had just needed the means to leave.

So when the engine quieted and did start-up, I was relieved. Though I had the gut feeling that one day my luck was going to run out, and the temperamental car was going to leave me stranded at the side of the road.

I stared ahead, focused on everything other than what was waiting for me at my hometown. Trying to redirect my thoughts away from one house in particular. Unfortunately, that meant that my mind wandered elsewhere.

I had hoped that being around the well-maintained flowers at the park would’ve helped soothe my nerves, and for a short while, it had, but The gentle hum of the flowers hadn’t been doing much to quell the heat in my chest or rising anxiety I felt. While the flowers did not acknowledge my presence, their usual calming presence wasn’t enough. There wasn’t much to show for their combined efforts. The trickle of tranquility that they eeked out felt like trying to cut down a tree with a butter knife for what it was worth.

That was until I saw him there. Standing casually next to the fountain in the middle of the walkway, not even trying to be inconspicuous about his staring, was Sans. I stared back at him defiantly, cursing my luck. He kept showing up like a bad penny. Whatever calm I had received was chucked out the window.

At first, I thought I was just imagining things. No doubt my anxiety that had been building since I made plans for today was just running amok, and I just needed to clean off my glasses. But as I stared at him I noticed that the imagined image of him wasn’t going anywhere and the cherry on top of this whole ordeal was that he was looking at me.

No, that wasn’t right. It wasn’t like he was just looking. That would’ve been normal, to catch my eye accidentally and look away. That would’ve only be the polite thing to do. But no, he was shamelessly staring me right in my face. I could feel my eyebrows scrunch up in confusion. What was he staring at? Did he have something to say?

So when his neutral expression turned cocky and he just supplied me with a basic “sup,”

I had to second guess if I was right about imagining him here. That I was going crazy, and If I was, then it could be contributed to my lack of sleep.

Was this some kind of joke? Was he making fun of me right now? Like what he did hadnt warranted an apology, or at least an acknowledgment. Wasn’t that the decent thing to do?

I lifted a hand to hold up a finger. A gesture I picked up from my mother when she was angry, a gesture that usually meant that one more word and I’d lose it, I’d blow my top.

I opened my mouth to tell him off. To tell him not ‘sup’ me like we were friends especially when he made it clear that he didn’t want that. That and the idea of being friends with him had stupid. On second thought Why even spend the energy?

I shut my mouth, my teeth clacking harshly before I began to grind them. I had clenched my hand and swiveled on my heel before I stormed off . I didn’t even give him a chance to say another word, because if he did I was just going to embarrass myself further.

People like that didn’t care about what I had to say anyway. In the end I was glad that I made that choice , to walk away from him and his condescending smirk.

While I’m grateful that I hadn’t made more of a fool of myself I still hated that I had to be this antsy, that his behavior is what ultimately drove me to head to the place I had been avoiding for the last few months.

I pass by the welcome sign to town, and there was a uncomfortable flurry of anxiety that flitted through my stomach. I was officially back, the speed of my car slowing to a near crawl once I was within the town limits. The few cars that were on the narrow two-lane streets drove leisurely to their destinations. No doubt heading to do their errands or go to the small shopping street at the other side of town.

The town could technically be classified as a city but no one had taken the time to go reregister it as one. With a population of over 10,000 it was definitely sizable. Bigger than most of the towns around it at the very least, and leagues bigger than the quaint town that I had lived in with my father.

I took in the familiar streets and houses, trying to settle the nervous flips my stomach was doing. There was only one road that lead in and out of town. The entirety of the whole side of town was surrounded by the sea. And the other two by a stretch of trees that made up a small state park, locking the town between the two. which meant that there would be no avoiding passing by the house at only 25mph.

My heart clenched when it came into view. The siding that was painted a deep purple stood out from all of the houses that in contrast were painted in subtle coastal tones. Blues, tans and whites mostly but situated in the middle of them stood the house that demanded attention.

The porch out front wrapped around it’s entirety, devoid of anyone. no one occupied the chair that sat next to the small side table. Gaudy brassy wind-chimes that depicted hummingbirds and spirals covered in glass gemstones that wouldn’t catch the light on such a overcast day, crowded the hanging space where planters should’ve hung. The yard was bordered with a well-maintained garden which was paid for with money that hadn’t been earned.

I tried not to watch the door as I passed, fighting the urge to make sure no one came out of it. To make sure she didn’t walk to their car and decide to follow me. To my relief no one did. I glanced up at my rearview every now and then and each time I let out a relieved breath I hadn’t realized I was holding when the back every time I saw that Mercedes wasn’t following me.

When the road widened out and branched out allowing access to areas where you could drive faster, I did. The faster I could drive away from that house the better.

I drove past the small high school that I had attended after my mother had given up on trying to homeschool me. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t continue to be homeschooled for those three years. I had gone in blind, not knowing what school would be like.

I wish I had, because it would have saved me the trouble.

After years of being with my father and being open about what I could do, and what I could feel I had grown into the habit of not hiding it. When I had lived with my father the neighbors I had then had been a lot like extended family, many accepting that I had the uncanny ability to read the room better than most. No one ever made a fuss about it, and I had grown comfortable in the fact that it wasn’t a big deal.

So when my mother had decided that she didn’t have the time to try and homeschool me anymore she put me in public school, with no forewarning about what I should expect. The familiarity and openness I had offered easily when I had lived with dad quickly proved to be a mistake.

I cringed at the memory as I greeted everyone I saw, too enthusiastic to meet new people, too ready to talk to everyone I saw. So when I could feel their moods sour and annoyance become irritation I was confused.
I had backed off some thinking that maybe they were just trying to get a feel for me, maybe o was too new and it would take a while for people to warm up to me, but that wasn’t the case. My awkward introductions sparked ridicule and mocking from classmates.
Not knowing what to do about it I distanced myself, looking for secluded places to eat, away from the distracting feelings of my classmates, and did my homework at school to kill any free time I had. My good grades reflected my boring passtime, It’s what I did every day and I had been relatively content with that.
It hadn’t been long for some students with -now looking back- not the best intentions to come seek me out.
It was three girls, not much older than me from the looks of it, they dressed differently than me in colors I wouldn’t pick for myself. I preferred muted earthtones back then, feeling like it was a little piece of home. My actual home back with dad.

I had been more distracted by what they wore more than what they were saying. Jeans that hugged their curves and shirts cut lower than could be comfortable. Their sleeves too short for the chilly spring air. The girl closest to me was blonde, with her hair pulled up into a ponytail. She had a tan richer than anyone else I had seen at school, that suggested that she travelled often.

“Hey, what are you doing out here?” She asked.

Even though she was the one asking her question was mirrored by her friends itchy curiosity. with all three of them there I could help myself but to scratch my arm. Their gaze made me feel like I broke out in hives.

“um, I’m eating.” I said trying my best to not act like I was covered in poison ivy.

“Yeah but like, how come you’re always by yourself?” one asked. I glanced her over. The girl with mousy brown curls and an equally squeaky voice stood next to the blonde.
the curiosity hadn’t lessened any so I tried my best to answer their questions as quickly as possible.

“I just am, it’s nice out here.” I said shrugging. Taking the chance to use the movement to discreetely scratch my arm.

A particularly cruel feeling snaked out and slithered around me, like a leisurely snake waiting to coil. It didn’t match the friendly behavior that they showed, the sensation was so contrary to how welcoming they were being.

So I ignored it, desperate to have a friend here at this school that had felt a lot like walking into a lions den every day now full of leering eyes and hushed snickers. This unexpected amount of kindness felt like my first warm spot of sunlight in an otherwise bleak week.

I was so happy, if not a little timid with this that I forced myself to overlook the sense of something bad about to happen, of the weight of the snake's coil on me. I tugged gently at my shirt's collar as if to lessen the pressure around my neck but it didn’t help.

“Yeah but don't you have any friends?” The question had been innocent enough even the intent hadn’t been. “Or a boyfriend?”

“Not really, no.” Why was she was asking me this?

She shot her two friends a look and they fought smiles from coming to her face and while the blonde girl leading the interrogation stifled a laugh.
I didnt have to search too hard to feel the malintent was edged with self-consciousness with a need for validation, for approval. I could feel the desperation in it, which if not for the extra sense to feel I would’ve never known just by looking at the saccharine smile on her face.

I looked her in her face, frowning. We’re people my age all like this? Were they really this unhappy that the only good part of their day was this? How could a person this nice be riddled with feelings like those. I hadn’t understood it.

In my overzealousness to make a new friend but also loaded with the pity that a person was burdened with such heavy negative emotions I wanted to help. Maybe she didn't have anyone to talk to about this.

“You know, you don’t have to do that,”I put my hand on her forearm in an attempt at comfort and she flinched back. I withdrew my hand and put it back on the table next to my abandoned lunch tray. I didn’t miss the hazy confusion and disgust. A new feeling, but i could tell what it was instinctually. It felt like something desperately shrinking away.

“Do what? “ confusion gave way to a baffled jumble of emotions.

One of the girls behind her murmured to another.

“Pretend to be hateful, they like you enough. You don’t have to do this to stay friends with them.”

I gestured to her two friends, “ actually, maybe just her. Your other friend only feels jealous of you and angry for some reason?” I gestured to her other friend with the mousy brown hair.

I didn’t miss the flicker of guilt from her then, looking at her jealous friend in a way that didn’t betray her feelings doing well to keep her condescending smile on her face. “ What are you even talking about? don’t act like you know us you’ve only been here for like a month.”

“you're right, I don’t know you. I just know you feel guilty when you look at your friend over there, and I know that you're starting to feel uncomfortable.” I shrugged, I honestly just wanted this conversation to end. I could tell that it had long since turned sour and my overall disappointment that no, I wouldn’t be making friends with anyone today either wasn't shocking.

The other two girls looked on in confusion and apprehension. While the girl who spearheaded the group was awash with chagrin. “you know what? We were just trying to be friendly and talk to you because you're always alone” She turned on her heel, ponytail almost whipping me in the face “ we don't have to force ourselves to talk to a freak!” she said before storming away, her friends following. I didn’t miss how they casted me curious backward glances.

It didn’t take long for my already poor standing to fall even further. I found out later that those same girls had spread a rumor that I was some psycho and with no one wanting to take the time to prove them wrong avoided me.
I hadn't thought much of the rumors or how they might affect me because I had figured that things couldn't be worse than being shunned.
That was, until one day when school let out I had stayed late to do some work. I spent alot of my time in the library since there was a printer there if I needed it. There was even an exit in the library that was closer to a shortcut to a way home.
What I hadn’t known at the time was that the window above that exit was the art room. I would never forget that fact though, when I had stepped out onto the steps and had been completely drenched in black paint. It ran thick down my hair and into my clothes. That day I had been wearing a jacket my father had bought me. I looked down at the ruined fabric dejectedly. Pulling my glasses off to futuilly scrub the lenses to no avail. All I accomplished was smearing the inky stuff around.

I had to head home half-blind both because of my lack of lenses and because of the added blurriness of tears I refused to let fall.

That was my first and only lesson about my ability. Mind your business and keep your mouth shut. Everyone was just happier that way. I would be happier that way.

That evening when I trudged into the house covered in half dry cakey paint I confronted my mother about it. She had the same ability that I had, She had all the experience that I hadn’t. She hadn’t warned me, or given me any advice. I screamed at her and cried that night. Something I shouldn’t have ever done around her, another lesson I only learned later and one I wished I had learned much sooner.

My mother was a spindly woman who stood a head taller than me. Just like my father, she didn’t share my copper-colored skin. She, in contrast to me was starkly pale. Her hair being the deepest of blacks only created a bold fringe of lashes around her cold eyes that took on a not quite focused quality, but anyone would be a fool if they thought she wasn’t detail-oriented. Not once has she missed even the smallest of details, whether it was a misplaced word in a conversation or the smallest of uneasy gestures.

She languidly rose from her proper posture in her chair. I watched, tears running down my face while I had waited for her response, to explain herself, to console me, anything.

She shuddered slightly and closed her eyes for a moment, her eyebrows furrowing; it was only a moment, though before she opened them and smiled. A slow, widening thing that immediately dowsed my anger and embarrassment in frigid water. Like I fell through the ice into a winter lake. I stumbled back, tears still falling.

She moved in a way that was too precise, the movement unnerved me as she made her way across the room to me. Then abruptly, like the strike of a snake, she closed the rest of the long dining room’s distance. I flinched at the movement, but it hadn’t been necessary. She was stopped right in front of me and laid her hands on my cheeks with a smile that I could only describe as disturbing.

“dear, shh shh. Tears aren’t going to help you. Only being smart about these things will.”

My heart hammered in my chest. Any remnants of how I felt about that day was a distant memory while I stood in the presence of my mother. She made any problem I had feel small in her unique way.
All I felt then was fear, irrational terror. My muscles locked up caught in the middle of flight or fight but could not consciously find the threat, while my mother maintained her unperturbed eye contact with me.

I wasn’t able to drop my gaze in horror while she continued. She talked quietly, and carefully her voice carrying an almost singsong quality to it.

“what you learned couldn’t have been avoided; I went through that, your grandmother went through it and everyone else before them. Consider it a right of passage” She wiped away a streak of tears with her too-cold fingers. They came away black.
“If I told you not to tell anyone about what we could do, then you would just rebel later, wouldn’t you?” Her blinks were slow, as if drowsy. She dropped her hands only to cross them over her chest and stride away.

“Consider yourself lucky that you learned that now, instead of having your heart shattered later.” She had said, dryly. “oh and clean yourself up.” Leaving me there in the dining room to silently tremble until I could find it in myself to move again.

The fear I had filled me then had been instinctual. I hadn’t understood why I had felt so threatened at the time. My mother hadn’t moved aggressively, and she hadn’t yelled. Thinking about it now that would’ve been the closest she’s had ever come to kindness.

She had never question my fear of her back then or tried to reassure me that I shouldn’t be afraid. In fact, she enjoyed it. Even though we never spoke the words, I knew that was the truth. I knew it in the way she smiled like a shark that just scented blood in the water, and in the way she made sure to squeeze it out of me at any opportunity.

My school passed out of view, taking some of the more sour memories with it as I focused on other things, like one of the neighboring parks that I had found out some of the other students skipped to. I never had the nerves to do it myself, but on days where a study hall and lunch period lined up back to back, I would slip away to sit on one of the swings or benches with a book.

I spent most of my school experience like that, which had sucked at the time, but I was ultimately okay with it. I believed that It was better that I had been alone.

I had believed it too, that was until I met Scott. I had been reading some fantasy novel I couldn’t name now and had lost track of time. I had been so wrapped up in the story that I hadn’t even heard the bell ring from just a block away. The only thing that had broken my focus had been the soft tap on my shoulder.

I had jumped, practically scrambling to my feet. I hadn’t felt anything around me; I hadn’t felt concern or curiosity or disgust. There was nothing. I looked at the guy with wide eyes. Blinking as if doing so would clear up whatever weird thing was going with my other sense.

The guy who had tapped me on the shoulder looked ordinary enough. He was tall and lean with ear-length hair that fell in waves and loose curls. His eyes were just as wide, no doubt surprised by my extreme reaction.

“uh, hi.”

“hi.”

“Sorry to bother you when you’re trying to read.l I wasn’t sure if you were skipping or not, but I just wanted to let you know that class is about to start if you wanted to head back with us.” He hooked a thumb towards a small group over by the sidewalk that were staring our way. They must be waiting for him.

I leaned to see around him, I couldn’t be certain, but I was pretty sure that one of the people in the group had been one of the girls who spread rumors about me when I had first arrived. I thought better of it. I didn’t have the energy to try and act more normal than I already was. It only took one more slip for things to get worse and right now, my solitude was peaceful.

“ no thanks, I can head back on my own,” I said, My eyes returning to him. my eyebrows furrowing in confusion. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him and I couldn’t get a feel for his motives. I was just left feeling around in the dark searching for something, anything, only to turn up empty-handed. Was this strange blank guy just trying to be nice? He was approaching me just to what? Invite me into the group to make fun of me?

If I didn’t look right at him, it would almost be like he wasn’t here at all, he was completely absent of the usual noise that I knew every person gave off. There was no sulky mood because plans were canceled, no happy buzzing or haze, nothing. If it wasn’t for the fact that his friends were waiting for him, then I would’ve questioned if my sanity was fully intact.

“Okay then,” he shrugs. “my name is Scott by the way.” he says

“oh, nice to meet you.” I hurried across the street to hurry back to school.

Even though I had tried to ignore him, I could still see him staring after me as I went.

Scott was the son of a well-known brain surgeon. Or so I had overheard. I was never the type to follow loose gossip, but lately that all people were talking about. How he was the son of some well known guy I never heard of.

His parents had moved into town to help open up the new hospital, and his father had settled closer to the new job opportunity. because of the attention his father brought it was well known that Scott had quite a bit of money and his added charisma people flocked to him.

Despite his fortunate upbringing, Scott had always been friendly if not bordering on being over accommodating, and he talked to everyone the same way, just like they were a person. Like everyone was an old friend that he’s known for years.

But still, I hadn’t expected him to approach me the same way. I had assumed that like everyone else, he would brush me off once word got around to him that people considered me the school’s freakshow. Whether he knew or he didn’t it didn’t matter, not to him at least. He made it his personal mission to talk to me, to go out of his way to interact with me.

At first, I was apprehensive. Without my usual telltale signs to let me know if a person had bad intentions, I was forced to watch his expressions closely. Not that it ever helped. Without the practice or the means to compare his expressions with his real emotions, I often second-guessed myself.

I had even tried to ask my mother about people who lacked any emotions. At first she brushed me off but her demeanor changed when I told her that a student at school couldn’t be read.

I could still distinctly remember the face she had made then, the dark glint in her eye and the grin that grew over her face like I had just told her I had found a winning lottery ticket for a million dollars. Her expression twisted somehow and unnatural.

Her facial features were too sharp, too to be paired up with her tiny flickers of emotion that could be felt from her. as if her expression compensated for the lack of feeling. “ohhh? Id like to meet them,” She said.

“do you talk to this person often?” She asked, her eyes were laser focused on me the smile not dropping from her face.

My heart thudded against my chest while I tried to keep a poker face. “um, not really, just in passing.”

She only hummed in response, I doubted that she believed me but I didn’t say anything else about it and she didn’t ask. I was careful never to bring it back up; whatever had her smiling like that never meant a good thing.

A few weeks after my uncomfortable conversation with my mother, I left the house to go read in one of the park fields, hoping the manicured grass could lend me a cup a calm. So to my dismay, Scott had plopped down next to me in the grass where I sat on my backpack. With his company, I was trying and failing to focus on my book.

This was a regular occurrence, I would go hide out at one of the few parks in town and more times than not, Scott would find one of my haunts and sit with me. Sometimes with his friends, but most times alone. This time felt different. There was a pregnant stretch of silence in which I pretended to read and where he tried no to make it obvious that he was staring at me. Only when he let out an obnoxious huff, I glanced up at him from the pages.

“Can I tell you something?”

I gave a non-committal hum, it was what my mother did to seem disinterested and I figured I could borrow the mannerism now and then. Plus, I didn’t want to say too much in case something was misconstrued as weird. Less was more.

“you’re like a breath of fresh air, you know,”

I looked up from my book then. Scott was sitting cross-legged, leaning back on his arms looking up at the sky. I followed his eyes; It was a warm day, summer was fast approaching and the sky was peppered with bright fluffy clouds that moved sluggishly across the sea of blue.

“I mean, im typically outside where fresh air is.” I deadpan. I didn’t know what he was getting at.

Scott laughed, the sound lighthearted and carefree. “you know something? You have a point.” He lolled his head, so he was looking at me. “that wasn’t what I meant, though,”

I looked him over, watching his face. I gave up trying to read this strange guy and closed my book, using my thumb as the bookmark and sighed. “then what do you mean?” Maybe it would be easier to get a feel for him if I just let him talk.

He plopped down and kicked out his legs, folding his arms behind his head. “I don’t feel like you want anything from me.”

I pondered this for a moment, he wasn’t wrong. At most, all I wanted was to be left alone but he already knew that. “is that why you keep coming back?”

“I guess so, but also you find the quietest spots just to sit and relax at.” He had a smug lopsided smile now, but his eyes were closed. Which was a shame because he completely missed the glower I shot him. If that was true how was he able to always find me?

“if you know people just want things from you, why do you let them stick around?”

“don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I hate them or anything. They aren’t bad people just because they want things. That’s human, I just get a little drained sometimes, is all.”

So what? Was he just going to continue just to entertain all of these people? And for what?I couldn’t follow that line of thinking.

“and everyone calls me the weird one.”

He opens his eyes then. “yeah, I don’t get that. Why does everyone think you're so creepy? All you do is sit around and read.” His eyes scanned me now, much in the way that I did to him on occasion. The only difference was that for some reason, when he looked at me that way I felt too exposed. Like I was a piece of glass, and all he would have to do to see what I was hiding was simply look.

I shrugged and looked away. “no idea.”

He never brought it up again, whether it was because he believed me or didn’t feel like pressing for another answer, I didn’t know. Regardless he kept coming back to sit with me, to talk with me until the conversations became something other than one sided. I began to look forward to our hang outs. He

I felt less and less like I deserved to be alone

He had introduced me to Emily one day too. I could see the recognition on her face when I had to introduce myself. She had been the girl from weeks before. She had been the one who called me a freak and started rumors about me.
She looked different now though, she dressed more comfortably and her hair was pulled into a loose braid that was slung over her shoulder. I wasn't all that great at remembering faces, but the undertones of her emotions were familiar enough for me to recognize her.
I could feel the panic from her when she realized that I could out her to having bullied me in the past. The added guilt I felt from her made me think that maybe she even had a hand in the paint incident, or if not that then the multiple vandalization of my things.

When I made no intention to tell Scott about her several indiscretions, she visibly relaxed. She was still slow to talk to me, but she played the part of an acquaintance well enough while scott was there and ignored me when he wasn’t.

The two had seemed close, I had often seen him talking with her before so I wasn’t surprised to see them joke around and laugh in the group of friends they were in. The other two girls she had hung out with nowhere in sight.

So when He pulled me into the group too, I was at a loss for what I should say. Mostly because I could feel the disgust and annoyance from everyone else in the group at my presence. With the exception of Scott of course. When it became apparent that Scott had taken me under his wing and dragged me into the group, it soon dwindled away to where the only three left in the group were us.

Emily never left, and in return, I tried to act as normal as possible in front of them both. After a year of hanging out, she must’ve brushed off our odd first meeting as a fluke because she all but forgot about it. I was happy to pretend to forget the incident right along with her if it meant I could be normal with friends. Regardless I did my best never to let on that I could feel her emotions.
Which wasn’t hard; most of her feelings weren’t all that bad; they were mostly bubbly, and bright .Her excited energy only waning in light of some other emotion. Mostly curiosity, or ‘heavier’ emotions when she set her sights on someone new. Though sometimes it was hard to pinpoint who caused that reaction in her when it was common that the object of her attention was more than one guy.

But mostly, I was just l happy to see her happy, even if her emotions were overwhelming sometimes. She became the friend that I had hoped to have when I first got here.

The three of us did everything together. We ate together, laughed together, hung out together. We were rarely ever apart. Even so, Scott still had his circle of friends outside of our group, which somehow Emily had never rejoined. I didn’t know how or if I should even ask her why.

Another year passed, and I told him how I had felt about him. The confession was almost painful, It was so awkward. I had told him that I couldn’t think about being with anyone but him. I hadn’t expected anything other than rejection, so when he pulled me into an embrace, I was speechless.

“then you don’t have to be.”

I refocused on the road, having to brake hard to avoid smacking into the back of the car In front of me as I revisited the memory of my first kiss.

Luckily, I didn’t have to drive much further to get to my destination. Soon I would no longer be a menace on the road.

I pulled into a parking spot alongside the road in front of the little house. It was just one of the now many properties they owned. This house stood not too far away from the corresponding trio; only a few streets separated the other houses. Just within walking distance of each other if anyone ever needed anything.

His mother sometimes went on a health decline, so she still lived with her husband. Still, for the last few years, Scott’s father had become less and less present. The job that his father had taken to help get his wife well had become more and more demanding and slowly became more a priority than she was. The original goal was lost in the hustle and bustle of the daily grind as the new hospital took in patients from other sites as it gained a reputation for itself for being the best on the coast. Because of this, I never had a chance to meet him.

My stomach clenched uneasily at the faint reminder of being treated in that hospital. The memory of the extended stay had my hand twitching over the scar that crossed from below my lowermost rib to below my navel in a jagged line, not quite reaching my hip.

I focused on the door of his house, anticipating someone I was actually looking forward to coming out of it. A smile on their face that I had been missing since I left. A smile that belonged to the only person that could keep me coming back to this town.

I got out of the car, feeling the cool, moist breeze from the distant ocean. Even if it was still a good mile or so to the sea, the air was always permeated with it. Though faint, I didn’t miss the tang of salt on the afternoon breeze.

I tried to fidget in my flats that I had decided to wear. I don’t know why I had thought that wearing shoes like this had been a good idea, I missed the comfort of something that covered more skin. Worrying about it now though wasn’t going to change the fact that I was wearing them or the fact that the only other pair that I had with me was a pair of worn sneakers that wouldn’t really look nice with the dress I wore now. If I was going to wear this dress, then I was going to commit to doing it.

I tenderly knocked on his door. I could feel the heat on my face. I rarely ever came to his place directly, before I had only ever come over for some of the steamier occasions, he preferred to take me on dates or to sit along the flat rocks by the ocean with me.

So, I stood on his porch in my little yellow dress that felt much shorter than I was used to. The occasional breeze made that shortness feel exaggerated while I waited for him to come to the door. I was starting to feel stupid, the nervous anticipation giving way to awkwardness as I pulled at the hem of my dress, willing it to grow longer by a few inches to no such luck. I could see the gist of my reflection in the frosted glass of his door, and I wondered if I had overdressed.

When it didn’t look like he would come out, I headed back to my car, only then realizing that his car was still sitting in the driveway. Maybe he had gone for a walk? that wasn’t unlikely, most of the local entertainment in town could be reached by foot. The only time someone headed out by car was if they didn’t feel like walking to the other end of town. Which right now, with nowhere to go, didn’t sound like a bad idea.

So, purse in hand, I started in the direction of where the mom and pop shops were. In my hurry to get out the door, I hadn’t eaten anything, and I started to feel the effects of that now. My stomach was grumbling its protest, the dry emptiness beginning to make itself known.

I sped off in the direction of a quick meal.

Walking through the more commercialized areas of town after a quick meal somehow felt surreal. Even though I hadn’t been gone long, my absence certainly affected how I viewed the same streets I frequented when I had nowhere better to be. This area was all family chains that had been here longer than I’d been alive. Small shops and restaurants that were mostly run-down but well-loved. You could see proof of it in the small home-made fixes and fresh paint jobs that look a little more…rustic than the owners were probably going for.

This place was no longer a prison or a place I’d be stuck in to grow old and die in. it wasn’t much of a step up, but I felt like a weight lifted off of my shoulders knowing that if I ever wanted to, I could come and go as I pleased.

This was the first time in years that I had walked down this street alone. I usually walked down this street with Emily or Scott, if not both. So taking a stroll down almost quite literally memory lane alone was well…lonely.

In my daze, something catches my attention. When I try to refocus and figure out what it was, I see that ahead of me in the distance. I thought I could make out Scott’s curly hair bobbing above a group of some guys but I couldn’t be sure. In the time I had been apart from him I had often mistaken seeing him in a crowd only to be embarrassed when I had called out to them only for a stranger to turn around confused.

So I waited to get closer before I did this time, wanting to be sure I had the right person rather than make a fool out of myself again in a place where people might recognize me. I waited to get closer before trying to catch their attention, wanting to be sure I had the right person rather than make a fool out of myself again in a place where people might recognize me.

When they turned, and I could see his profile, my heart leaped. Taking in his green eyes and gentle demeanor was like a soothing balm over the ache that hadn’t gone away since I’d seen him last.

I couldn’t hear the conversation they were having but based on the general reaction, one of Scott’s friends must have cracked a joke because his face was lit up in a laugh that I rarely saw on him. It was carefree and lighthearted; the usual stress that usually tensed his smile at the corners couldn’t be found now.

I was so happy to see him so carefree. Maybe his mother had been doing better, and he didn’t have to worry as much. Now he could enjoy himself without having to be mentally somewhere else. He could be present and enjoy things now. My heart clenched.

The group had been headed in my direction as I approached Scott. I held up a hand to wave to him, but he was too engrossed in his conversation to notice. So I didn’t have a chance to call out to him before his friends were parting to pass me, one or two of them murmuring something that sounded like ‘excuse me, miss’.

Scott had glanced at me briefly, but his face hadn’t registered that he had recognized me. His eyes swept over my face without actually looking at it. When he passed me along with his friends, I had to fight the disappointment that he wouldn’t recognize me right away.

“scott?”

Chapter Text

Scott and his friends slowed to look at me. They were close enough to where I could feel their light and bubbly mood dim to a hazy confusion. Scott however was unreadable like always. So I watched his face as I smiled up at him waiting for his confusion to turn into elation, to see him beam down at me like he had with his friends when he realized that I was here.

Instead his face just had this muddled expression like he didn’t understand why a stranger was calling him. Then his eyes caught mine and while I could see the recognition and surprise in them, the smile never came. His features which had been neutral darkened slightly as his friends murmured among themselves behind him. I could feel their haze swirl and deepen. Concern licking at the edges of their emotions.

My eyebrows furrowed. “scott?” I said quieter now not understanding what I had done that had made things so awkward.

Scotts expression lightened, but the smile didn’t touch his eyes. “May? you’re back?”

The smile that he used when he was stressed was back, and I felt a pang of guilt. I was about to speak but the next collective roll of emotions hit me from his group catching me off guard. Shock, curiosity, and pity. I heard my name mixed in with the small murmur of the small group.

Scott looped an arm around my shoulders and turned me around. “hey guys, I’ll be back I need to go help her get settled and unpacked I’ll catch up with you guys later.” He waves with his free hand at them as he led me away from the group.

As we walked back in the direction of his house I snuck a peek back at the four of his friends and recognized one of them. They had been in the friend group before me and scott had started dating. I had expected to feel irritation from him at the very least but instead I just felt overwhelming pity. I didn’t know what to make of that.

His eyes were on scott though, so more than likely the feeling was directed at him and not me. I guess people still saw me as the town weirdo even though years had passed since we’ve all graduated.

I turned back to scott “hey, you didn’t have to stop hanging out with your friends or anything.”

Scott looked at me skeptically, “what kind of boyfriend would I be if I couldn’t make time for you?”

My heart felt lighter than air at that, after the last few months of me overthinking and worrying that I had been annoying with my texts and calls so I made an effort to be mindful about the amount of times that I tried to contact him.

his words now were like a weight being lifted. He had never told me that he hadn’t wanted to talk to me or that I shouldn’t call. It was just that he was too busy to get to his phone sometimes.

His smile with his friends flickered in my head, and I felt a pang of guilt. He probably had to keep up with several friends and got caught up trying to stay in touch with them all, that made sense. I didn’t want to demand more time with him if this was what made him happy.

“so, what prompted the surprise visit?” He asked, his voice a gentle caress of words. He never rose his voice. It wasn’t lost on me that he did this consciously, even if I never asked that of him he made an effort to keep his voice soft. Not that he had to try so hard since he wasn’t the type to be intentionally harsh.

“oh, my phone…fell,” I half lied my nose scrunching up at the thought. “ and I had agreed to come this week.”

he watched my expression almost as if he was trying to read my emotions. His eyebrows scrunched gently with worry “did you need help getting it fixed?”

“I uh, sorta left it at home. I wanted to come see you first instead of waiting for it to...get repaired .” My face heated up with each word feeling more stupid the more I spoke. I knew I hadn’t thought this through when I came out here but saying this aloud now made me feel like an idiot.

“so your phone breaking was the deciding factor for wanting to come visit,” he asked with a light hearted chuckle, attempting to finish the thought that I had trailed off on.

“not really but it was a part of it.” Which was the truth. Standing there among the glass had definitely pushed me over the edge on wanting to come out here.

He hummed contemplatively “you look different.”

“you mean the dress?” I asked looking up at him, wanting to see the face he was making right now. I hadn’t been around him for so long, so I wasn’t in my element being unable to just feel what he was. It felt like trying to hike through the woods without my glasses. The inability to read him rendering me partially blind in a way. It always made me want to watch his face to be able to make sure I didn’t misunderstand the intention behind his words even when the freedom from what I could do should be a relief.

He looked up into the sky in thought obscuring his expression from me further. “no, not your outfit. While that’s nice, I meant you in general.” He looked down at me again and smiled, it wasn’t the beaming one from earlier but it was warm and sincere. I didn’t need to feel his emotions to see that he was relieved. “ you look like you’re doing better than when you left.”

It was my turn to look confused. While the entire situation that had caused me to pick up and leave wasn’t something Id care to remember I wouldn’t say I was doing all that much better. Ive been feeling miserable for the last few weeks, and that incident last night hadn’t been an improvement. “how so?”

“youre less timid somehow.”

Scott laughed at my baffled look. “you don’t have to believe me, but just know when I say that you look like you’re doing well. Im just happy for you.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just leaned into him as we approached his house. With summer beginning its transition into fall the days were beginning to shorten. Not enough for it to be a drastic change but enough for twilight to tint the edges of the sky. Casting everything in a honey yellow color.

He put his key in the door and walked in, only to stand just within the threshold to gesture me in invitation.

I walked inside, pushing down the sudden onslaught of nerves from being in his house again in so long. Memories of the time we had spent here coming to mind, and warming my face.

“did you have things to unpack? Or was this a day trip?” he asked as he closed the door behind us. I was hyperaware of the sound, and the presence of him behind me.

“oh uh, I have some stuff in my car.” as much as I tried, I couldn’t keep my voice from coming out high and strained at the end. my voice threatening to break.

If he had noticed, he didn’t mention it. Instead he passed me, headed off to the kitchen to no doubt make tea. It was a habit of his, he used to come home from school and make his mother a cup a few times a day to keep her hydrated. Now the habit was practically a daily ritual.

As he gathered items, I could see the muscles that coiled under his shirt. He rolled his sleeves to up his elbows. Exposing his toned forearms.

I panicked when he turned to me again, worried that I had been caught staring. He rose an eyebrow and gestured to the jar where he kept an assortment of teabags in an unspoken question.

“Chamomile please”

He turned to get the pot started, the stove starter clicking before it caught and asked “nervous?”

“it’s that obvious?”

He glanced at me again, watching my face now even though I could only see his profile. “well, I was only kidding but you did choose chamomile. What has you feeling nervous?”

My eyes lingered on his hands that despite their smoothness, it was apparent that they were no stranger to manual labor.

“it’s just been a while since I’ve visited, and the few of the times I’ve been here have led to some interesting memories.”

Scott smirked “oh? Remind me about those again” he said coyly. “what kind of memories do you mean.”

I was glad then that the color of my skin couldnt show the heat on my face as I attempted to keep my expression cool and collected. And failed. “you know just a memory there,” I pointed to the counter, “and there” I gestured to the couch. “and well a few other places, I was just alittle overwhelmed with…remembering you know?”

Scott nodded turning, pulling things out of the cabinet where I couldn’t see his face. I hated when it was out of view while we were talking, even though it couldn’t be intentional on his part since I never told him about what I could do. I didn’t want him to start to distrust me over a sense that I couldn’t even use on him but the nagging feeling that I couldn’t confirm how he felt was putting me on edge.

“you don’t have to be nervous, I wouldnt do anything that you dont ask me to.” Even though his tone is light, the words carry a weight to them. They sink into me and warm my face and stomach.

I sat at the island of his kitchen on one of his tall bar stool chairs and leaned over his counter to cross my arms. I had to breathe to regain the air that had left me in a whoosh. “and if I asked you to?” The simple question came out airy and quiet but in my moment boldness I kept my eyes on his. Emboldened further by the fact that I wouldn’t suffer any negative effects from doing so.

He levels me with a smoldering look, which was equal parts serious as it was sultry. “you wouldn’t, and that’s okay.” Is all he says. The teapot screeched its interruption cutting off the subject that was snowballing into something fueled with a tension that I hadn’t felt before.

Scott swiveled to take it off the heat and cut off the flames all in one motion. I watched as he got out a mug for me and for him as I made sense of what he had said. That I wouldn’t. He said it like there wasn’t a possibility, like it would never get to that point where I would ask him for what he was implying. As much as I would want to argue the point, I couldn’t.

Because if I was being honest with myself then I would have to admit that he wasn’t wrong. Rather than continue on that line of conversation he handed me my steaming cup, and unlike me he was completely calm. Like the almost-conversation had been about the weather instead of… I glanced briefly to the stairs before looking deep into my sweetened tea.

“so, tell me about how you’ve been doing at your new place.” He says casually

It took a sip of my tea to compose myself mentally enough to be able to string a coherent sentence together. I was pleased to find that he had already sweetened it for me with heathy dose of honey. ”not too much has changed, time has been going so slow and flying all at once.”

Scott nods, either in agreement or acknowledgement but doesn’t interrupt.

“I have a new place now, I moved out with Emily and got a new job. My roommate actually offered me the job a while back, she’s really cool.”

“found some new friends then?”

“oh! Yeah. “I said sheepishly “fuko and me talk a lot, then there’s undyne and alphy’s who’ve invited me to come hang out with them. I’m still getting to know them though.” Now that I thought about it, they had invited me to visit, soon hadn’t they? I would have to text them soon. I could hear undyne warning me that she would come and get me if they had to.

“those names aren’t something you hear every day,” he mused leaning over the kitchen island his mug of tea in hand.

“yeah Ive noticed monsters usually do.”

Scott looked up from his cup then meeting my eyes for a long moment “monsters?”

I watched his expression, it just looked like curiosity maybe, but his jaw tensed in a way I didn’t understand. I’ve heard about monsters being treated poorly but Scott has never been the prejudiced type. So, this reaction didn’t make much sense. He didnt care did he?

I nodded not knowing what else to say. Not sure if this was a problem or not.

So, when he just chuckled again the tension that had been coiling in my muscles eased. “I was wondering when you’d run into a monster living over there. Did you know that ebott The was the city that they emerged from you know.”

“I didn’t know that when I first moved there but it I noticed that they’ve set up a few nice communities and businesses. Maybe if you ever visited I could show you a few, they have some pretty good restaurants too.”

Scott just smiled politely, “if I ever visit I definitely will.”

Even though it held the same tone as everything else in this conversation I still felt like that was the end of that topic. I decided to not mention anything about him visiting for a while. Maybe he really had been angry that I had come unannounced.

“so, uh how’ve you been? What have you been up to lately?”

“honestly the same as usual, I got a promotion at the library, I’m an archivist now.”

“congratulations! I know you were excited about that.”

“soon I’ll have my career set up and wont have to worry about how I’m going to support myself anymore.”

I was happy for him, but the bittersweet feeling twisted in my chest. He meant that he was going to stay here in town. He meant settling here permanently. I would never be able to do that for him. Not while she still lived here in town. Not while that house still stood there filled with memories.

“so, how long are you staying for?”

This question, like the others he’s asked me today wasn’t something I had a straight answer for. I had packed a few nights worth of clothes, but I hadn’t actually planned on anything. It wasn’t like I could just impose; He hadn’t planned on company.

He must have misunderstood the frown I was making because he hurried to say “ I don’t have any problem with you staying the night, Its just that tomorrow I wont be here, I have classes I have to go to.”

That was right scott was still attending college. That wouldn’t be put on pause just because I was here. I still felt somewhat disappointed that we didn’t have much time together but I couldn’t blame anyone else but myself for that. I squeezed my hand that was in my lap.

“are you sure? That it’s okay I mean.” I asked looking up at him.

“to stay over? Of course it is.” He glanced out the window to see the light of the day slowly retreating past the fringe of trees that bordered the town. The colors of the sunset violently painting the sky in vivid pinks and oranges. “ I should probably go grab your stuff before it gets dark.”

I nodded at him and handed him my car key.

“if you want to get settled-in the bathroom upstairs has a robe if you want to shower. The trip over here from ebott is long.”

my brain sluggishly supplying that I already knew where the shower was. I nodded again robotically but he wasn’t looking at me to see it. A shower would be good. He went out the front door but abruptly popped his head back in

“oh! And giving you a heads up the downstairs bathroom door is broken, if you want to use it you might have to prop something against the door.” And with that he was gone again.

I stared after him not knowing what to say to that. How had he managed to break his door? I made the mental note that I wouldn’t be using the downstairs bathroom, not unless I wanted to run the risk of giving Scott a show that id rather die than give.

With that decided to head up stairs to shower before he got back. His bedroom was the one at the top of the stairs, his door was open and his neatly made bed was on full display. My face felt hot as I rushed past his room to the bathroom. Showering like he had suggested. The warm water didn’t calm me in the way that I thought I would.

the bodywash that sat on the shelf only proved to make heart thud against my chest when the bathroom was filled with the same scent as his. My face radiated heat that felt blistering under the warm water. I didn’t have to think about this so hard. If I didn’t want to then it wouldn’t happen. That’s what he said. That I would have to be the one to ask for it. I turned the dial for cold water on full and shivered when the temperature plummeted.

I felt the anticipation drain out of my body from the very ‘comfortable’ sensation of feeling like I was taking a standing ice bath.
Attraction to scott wasn’t a problem, I love him. Im just afraid about what sex would mean, if it affected more than just my body. As frustrating as it was to not be able to read scott, I didn’t want to imagine how much worse it would be if things changed after we did something that intimate. That I would have to hide the fact that I knew every personal feeling that flitted through him and would have to keep it a secret.

I thought about how different our relationship would be if I was able to read his emotions. I wouldn’t be able to look him directly in the eye anymore. I’d miss looking into his blue eyes and how they mirrored the color of the sky on a sunny day. If things changed I would be taking a gamble on whether or not Id suffer through an attack every time I looked into them.

I wasn’t ready for the reality of that happening. I couldn’t tell Scott about this when I’ve known him for so long, not when I had only known lulu for a few months and even she had been creeped out by what I could do. I hadn’t had the luxury of not feeling her emotions though and that’s been my only saving grace when it came to scott.

We were okay with the way things are now. He made that clear a long time ago. I don’t have to rush to do something I might regret. This mental reminder soothed the bundle of nerves that had been growing and the sense of unease left me altogether.

I turned the water off and got out Reaching for the towel that hung on the wall. I hadn’t bothered to wash my hair, so I just toweled off the droplets of water before letting my hair down from its messy bun, the hair clung to my damp skin.

I looked around the bathroom in a panic, remembering that I didn’t have a clean set of clothes. I spotted the white robe that scott had mentioned. It hung underneath a towel that shared the same hook on the door. I didn’t hesitate to wrap the soft white robe around myself, being absolutely sure I tucked it tight before tying the strings. I glanced at myself in the mirror. I was decent, the only thing the oversized robe displayed was my calves and neck.

I wiggled my bare toes and frowned. If I had left my house with a clearer mind maybe I would have thought about painting them before I came to visit.

With a final glance in the foggy mirror I made sure I didn’t look like a complete mess and cracked the door open, looking out. Thankfully, Scott wasn’t outside waiting for me. If the sound of running water and clanking dishes were anything to go by then he was downstairs washing dishes. I couldn’t be certain but all I knew he wasn’t upstairs so I made a dash for it to the bedroom and closed the door quietly.

Scott had set my bag on the bed for me, and even pulled out a pair of pajamas. I dug through my bag to find a bra and pair of underwear. Even though I had no plans to do anything tonight I had still unconsciously packed a matching pair. Kicking myself, I didn’t linger it’s implications and hurried to pulled those and the pajamas on.

I just finished doing that when I heard a knock at the door. A startled ‘eep’ came from me in response.

Scott was standing there in the doorway eyes wide. “oh sorry I didn’t think you weren’t decent I was just going to ask if you were hungry, because I could heat something up.”

“no im alright” My voice came out high and squeaky and I have to swallow to calm down enough to talk normally. “I just thought Id go to sleep, im feeling sleepy” I lied. I was anything but tired, I was a live wire of nerves right now. I’d be lucky if I even got a wink of sleep.

My hand touched the soft duvet and instantly I felt dizzy when I did, the emotions overwhelming and unwelcome. The usually fuzzy and lightheaded feeling I got was nauseating and woozy. I pulled my hand away, and I stared at it as I teetered on my feet. That couldn’t have been…

“may, you okay?” his voice was concerned.

I shook my head, “sorry my stomach Is just feeling alittle sour. Do you mind if I sleep on the couch instead?”

His eyebrows furrowed with the concern I couldn’t feel before he nods “sure, if that’d make you feel better.”

I tried not to make it obvious that I was staring at him, I was trying to see any difference in him. Anything that would tell me that he had changed in the time since ive seen him last. But he stood there with his eyebrows furrowed staring at me like he was wondering If he should take me to the doctor.

I gathered my things being very careful not to touch the blankets, and shoved them into my bag trying to look less disturbed than I was.

Scott went to his closet and grabbed a fresh set of blankets and pillows of me, following behind me as we headed down the stairs. He set the load down on the couch when I sat down on it. I breathed a sigh of relief when I didn’t get that uncomfortable sensation I had earlier.

Scott got me a glass of cool water while I settled in and kissed me on the cheek.

“goodnight, I’ll be just upstairs if you need me.”

He left the light in the stairway on for me so I wasnt left in the dark if I needed to get up. Which was considerate since, needless to say I couldn’t sleep. In the late hours of the night when I was sure scott was asleep I got up. The house was silent, and the air felt still. Even though this house was in no way old, the wood floors felt like they betrayed me with every step.

Each of my foot falls sounded too loud even though I was trying to be discreet. I didn’t know why I felt the need to sneak around when I wasn’t doing anything outright questionable but my heart pounded in my ears with every creaky step that broke the silence of the house.

I moved slowly, taking my time over every surface. Glided my hand over the cool counter, the smooth surface of the cabinets, I revisited the island, and any surface I could in the living room. Nothing. I didn’t know what I was expecting to find, but I didn’t know if I felt relieved or unsatisfied with the results.

Had I imagined it? I looked down at my fingertips in the dark. I sat up all night worrying for nothing. I slid my hand over my face in exhaustion. I should probably stop this and go lay back down.

I crawled back under my blanket and drifted off. Even though It was late when I finally found sleep, much like last night it came over me in waves but never fully submerged me in it.

When rest found me it was dreamless, or it would have been if I dont count the colors and odd shapes that filled the space that dreams were supposed to fill.

I woke up uneasy, sleeping hadn’t helped me feel anymore rested. Judging by the light streaming in from the large traditional windows it was late morning. I squinted grumpily at the unrelenting blinding sunlight while I fumbled for my glasses that sat by the cup of water on the coffee table. I slid them on and blinked until my eyes adjusted the sudden brightness.

I sighed, how was it morning already? My throat felt parched and I didn’t hesitate to chug the glass of water that waited for me.

I got up to fold the blanket that Scott gave me and gathered it and the pillow up. I could hear the shower running upstairs. Glancing down at my bag for only a moment I grabbed that too. I should have enough time to go get changed if I hurried. Arms full, I went back upstairs hurrying to change in his bedroom behind the closed door.

When I turn to his bed I’m surprised to see that the thick duvet from last night had been replaced with a thinner quilt. I felt the sheets, but I couldn’t feel the overwhelming sensation that I had last night and honestly I was starting to wonder if I had just imagined it.

I got out of my pajamas and got changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top, the fabric felt cool against my skin. Fully dressed, I went to leave his bedroom only to almost run into scott as he opened the door at the same time.

Scott stood the just as stunned as I was, wearing the robe that I had yesterday. But he wasn’t wearing it as tightly as I had. His chest was bare and where , the robe cutting off at his upper thigh could barely considered being dressed. I tried not to think about how he was likely naked under the robe, or how warm his skin would be under my hands.

I looked away from his lean toned chest as my face burned, but I had rocked back on my heels when I backed away too quickly and lost my balance.

Scott’s arm shot out to catch me. His hand cupping around the small of my back, pulling me into him to steady me. Even if my feet were more evenly planted now, I in no way felt steady. My heart didn’t keep its consistent rhythm and stuttered when he looked down at me with his heavy lidded icy blue eyes.

My lips parted with a breath that never came.

Staring up into his eyes with my palms splayed out over his bare chest I could be certain that no, the problem wasn’t attraction at all.

Then low, and quiet he said “did you want me?”

Chapter Text

I leaned onto the back two legs of my chair, balancing while I waited for staff to come over and ask us for our order. This was one of the few food spots in town that I hadn’t been to, and for good reason. The restaurant was some ‘vegan’ veggitoid place that you had to set reservations for. Something that I wish I had known about prior or I wouldn’t have bothered coming here. Turns out though I didn’t need one of those. It had been over a decade since monsters have been free’d but the collective memories of monsters didn’t forget who I was. Which was something that was more inconvenient than even not getting any seats.

So, when I asked the unknowing human hostess if they had any seats and she informed us that we needed to have a reservation ahead of time I didn’t even have a chance to respond before management rushed over to intervene. The poor lesser monster, a sharply dressed spindly lizard with purple scales that quaked in their dress shoes. They whispered something to the hostess and she kicked into a flurry of action. Apologizing to us and informing that that there was in fact a table left for us and to pardon her while she got it ready. I pretended like I didnt notice that at the back of the restaurant the owners had shooed away another couple from a table by the window. The uproar of the unhappy patrons quieted with a flash of cash from the owner but not before it disrupted the quiet atmosphere of the restaurant.

While I might’ve pretended like I was more interested in the décor than the commotion, the special treatment wasn’t lost on Emily and she made no attempt to hide her curiosity at the scene. Her eyes found me again and practically glittered with a new found appreciation, the look might as well have been slime dripping down my back for about as comfortable as it felt.

The special treatment mightve been convenient and all but It was only serving to set me further on edge but today I was already too irritated to care who else this inconvenienced. The sooner I got the table the sooner this little outing would be over.

The staff here worked quick. In the short time that we had been led over to the table from the hostess podium they had reset the table with fresh ice water and something that pretended to be breadsticks already waiting for us. Emily who had been standoffish before was now awestruck with the restaurant. I wasn’t impressed with its ambient lighting and quiet music, it just felt too . There was a curtain separating our table from the one next to ours. Our table was positioned against a wall and a window, I took the seat with my back to the wall, and she took the seat with the curtain as her backdrop.

I picked at the ‘breadsticks’ idly ripping it into tiny pieces instead of eating it while I wondered what the hype was. Technically all of our food was vegan, but in this case the form that the ingredients took never took the shape of meat, eggs or milk. If there was one thing I knew this bottom feeder food wasn’t going anywhere near my mouth.

I settled in further taking in the restaurant and I could say for certain that It wasn’t really my style, the overall vibe was just too frou-frou. It just looked like they would give you two sprigs of lettuce and call it a meal then have the balls to charge you a months wage to eat it.

That said, it wasn’t like I could afford to spend a good amount of money every now and then. Me and my brother had a handsome amount of money left over from our….sponsorship from a certain furry dickhead royal and while paps used his gold more liberally I wasn’t the type to spend this sorta money every day. Not when money had been so scarce for us for so long.

That being said I would rather be eating at another local establishment. One that didn’t reek of pretentious assholes and steamed greens. At that thought my eyelights roamed around the resturant but I couldn’t see any vegetoids in sight. Weren’t they supposed to be the ones running the place? Well they weren’t upfront, so maybe they were in the back?

I held in a wry smile at the idea of some root monster in a suit barking orders at the chefs in the kitchen.

Emily openly stared at me now, anyone could see that she was nervous. She looked less guarded somehow. Maybe she hadn’t expected me to have any sort of money or influence of my own or maybe all it took to calm her down was to bribe her with good food and pretty things.

She looked like she was working up to say something but I made sure to slide the menu to her before she had the chance. “choose something first and then we’ll talk.” Even I could hear how bored my voice sounded.

If she could hear it in my tone she had no objections, she took the menu and pulled it up. Id I had to sit here in a restaurant I hated in a monkey suit I didn’t feel comfortable in for a talk id rather not have I figured that If I was the one paying then I should at least be given a pass if I didn’t make the attempt to be all smiles right now.

Emily looked up at me from her seat then down at her menu taking it between her hands. The menu was her size, this restaurant catered to all monsters and had different sizes available just for comfort’s sake. Another sign that this place was expensive by monster standards.

It was silent at our table, the music that played was classical but it was too quiet to be a saving grace for the awkward air that settled at our table like a third uninvited guest. It took me a while to figure out what felt so weird about this scene. Emily was quiet. She hadn’t been quiet for as long as I had known her. While sure, It hadn’t been very that long since we’d run into each other literally.

She hadn’t stopped talking all that time. At first I thought it was a good thing, If she kept talking then I wouldn’t need to respond, and if I decided to tune into what she was saying then I would have a distraction from my own thoughts.

This whole dating thing though? She was the one who sprung this on me and with nothing better to do I figured what harm would do?

I remembered that day, it was a day a lot like today. I was hungry enough to dust on the spot. I had spent all of my magical energy keeping an eye on the shadier parts of town since I had heard that a few monsters were planning to retaliate on a group of humans that had been a particular pain in the ass.
Needless to say that porting around wasn’t the most efficient way to do things but it was definitely the most inconspicuous. Things were only made worse when I had to send some monsters home with some gentle convincing. Rather than go home I refuel had decided to stick around to keep an eye out. Something that was supposed to only take a hour or two. Needless to say that didn’t happen when I spotted the human group that had been been terrorizing the kids. So I figured, why not take that opportunity to blow off some steam.

I didn’t do anything particularly sinister, even if I there wasn’t anything I wanted more than to show them their own personal hell, I restrained myself enough to only traumatize them a nonincriminating amount. If they decided to ever tell anyone about what happened that night it would’ve sounded more like too many drinks out with friends and an over active imagination.

I wasn’t even responsible for any wounds they received. they gave those to themselves from panicking in the dark and tripping on their own feet when they tried to run. It was funny how clumsy humans could be when they were scared. It served them right for picking on monsters that weren’t even half their age.

So I figured, if I was already out I might as well stay all night, it wasn’t like I could sleep anyway. I stayed on the look out till morning, even managing to get a monster away from another group of humans with some pretty nasty intentions. I was able to get them away without the monster or the humans ever even realizing what happened.

When dawn came I was halfway delirious, having spent more energy then I should have. The coat I wore was thick and insulated, enough so that even with my magic feeding on the extra protective padding around my bones it wasn’t noticeable.

But even if it wasn’t I had been dangerously close to passing out. I had acquired coffee somehow, or maybe it had been spider cider but all that mattered was that it was had enough magic in it to help me get where I was going. Thing was though, I didn’t know where I was, and when I finally regained some form of coherency there was a human girl who sat there on her ass on the sidewalk.

The girl was all wide eyes and pale hair. I would’ve even said she looked pretty once. The human wore clothes too light for this unseasonably cold weather. Her hair was pulled up into a pony tail, and she wore bright fluffy pink ear muffs that were probably the warmest part of her outfit. Her outfit was so light in fact that I could tell that she had no weapons on her, not with how body conforming her sweater was if you could even call it that for how thin it looked. Even her purse looked non-threatening. The clutch too small to hold anything other than a few credit cards so It looked like the most I had to worry about was the possibility of her having a handful of toothpicks.

In my daze, it didn’t even click in my skull to offer to help her up, but she didn’t need the help anyway. She was already brushing herself off and sputtering apologies and questions. I didn’t even have a chance to get a word in. My head was pounding, and amist the dumb questions like ‘are you a skeleton monster? Aren’t you cold? And You live around this area’ I couldn’t dredge up enough energy for a sarcastic remark.

I did have enough energy to fix her with a look that I hope said ‘ lady what does it look like’ she on the other hand blissfully oblivious, continued to talk. Not wanting to stand idle when the small supplement of magic was beginning to wane I started to walk away.

I halted in my tracks when I was faced with my earlier problem, and turned to her again. “hey uh…” I gestured to her.

“it’s Emily,”

“sure whatever, where am I?”

“youre on the east end of ebott,” she cocked her head like the question I asked had been where could I go buy frilly panties. I could practically feel her curiosity peak at that newfound information. “oh! You weren’t kidding. Do you need a ride?”

It was my turn to be confused, was that a joke? Instead of wasting more energy asking a slew of questions I decided to play along. “depends, how much are asking for?”

She pretended to ponder the question. “how about your number?”

I hadn’t been expecting that of all things but if it meant I didn’t have to spend any gold then that works, since I didn’t have a cent on me right now or anything else for that matter. I shrugged. “I don’t see how that benefits you but your call.”

Ellen or elain or whatever her name was smiled, practically beamed while she lead me to her car. A red sleek sportscar. Any other time I would tell someone to fuck off is some rando asked if I needed a ride home you know strander danger and all that. But honestly my catching a ride from her was far less dangerous than running around unable to defend myself or get away.

So blondie was my best bet. I found myself scrutinizing her further when I squeezed into her car. Her hands weren’t rough and her nails were painted and unchipped. Her muscles were lean but subtle like an athlete’s but if she was a fighter she sure wasn’t built for it. My eyelights fell on the curves of her body, and concluded that while she wasn’t built for fighting her curves definitely had use elsewhere.

I leaned on the door, something I had to do anyway in order to properly fit and let her catch me stare if she wanted. She did, and even winked. I snorted, this human had some balls, either that or they were just recklessly stupid to trust a monster this outmatched in strength, magic or no magic.

“are you going to keep checking me out or are you going to tell me where we’re headed.” She smirked, “not like I mind though,”

I quirked a brow bone, huh. So it was like that. “take me to the base of mt. ebott “

“I know where that is, I’m pretty sure a friend of mine lives out that way.” With that she sped off not giving a fuck about flying between cars narrowly missing them by a hairs breath, or the possibility getting pulled over by authorities. Not that she had to worry about getting pulled over, since a cop that tried would have to catch her first.

The way this human drove gave the phrase “drive it like you stole it” a whole new meaning. I immediately regretted getting into her car. somewhere within the sharp turns and winding between cars my brain supplied me with the phrase stranger danger and how you shouldn’t just climb into anyone’s car.

The world blew by in colors and images too blurry to fully make out but even as we flew past I could recognize the area. I was on familiar ground again but as we approached our stop she made no move to slow her roll.

When we got to the base of the mountain she skidded to a halt with a lopsided grin. It was so harsh that it made me feel like my skull would fly through the windshield. “here we are!”

If I had a heart it would have stopped. “Fuckin’ Stars, you are the worst fucking driver.” I released my grip on the passenger’s door handle. I got into this car thinking that she was in no way a threat but the idea that she could kill me with her driving alone never crossed my mind. “I am never fucking getting into another car with a human again.”

“aw come on don’t pretend like it wasn’t fun,”

“I’d rather do anything else than do that again. You do realize ‘ride or die’ doesn’t mean you’re supposed to kill your passengers”

“so dramatic!” Emily giggled. “so what im hearing is you would rather me take you out than suffer through my very smooth driving.”

I looked at her and squinted. This human was definitely crazy. “listen, im not all that into humans. It’s the whole ‘im better than you’ energy that you guys walk around with that just isn’t my style.”

“then enlighten me oh boney butt, what is your style because I saw the way you were looking at me earlier and..” she trailed off jokingly.

“not a walking death trap that’s for sure.”

“I thought we established that I was ‘driving’ death trap, thank you very much.”

“what ever floats your boat, crashes your car, tomato-tomahtoe.” I opened the door and got out on wobbly legs. “I don’t even wanna look at another car after that shit” I mumbled.

“hey hey!” I turned back to the human covered in bubblegum colored clothes, with eyes that looked too gleeful to be anything but trouble. I usually was spot on with my character judgments, but with the added delirium and overall exhaustion must have impaired my judgment making skills. Because clearly she couldn’t be trusted.

“what.” I snapped at her.

“I thought we had a deal, I drive you and I’d get your number.”

I had agreed to that hadn’t I. I grumbled it glared at her begrudgingly. She returned my glare with a smile dripping with invitations and a promise of a good time.

My life could use some entertainment. Why the hell not. I made my way back over to the car and held my gloved hand to her. I leaned down on the roof of the car, extending my hand further into the cabin.

Her face tinted pink as she looked up into my eyelights, handing me her phone.

“elly right?”

“Emily.”

I tapped my phone number into her contacts, hating that I had to spend more magical energy on it before tossing it back into her passenger’s seat.

“sans.”

I had just went along with it on a whim. So when her constant talking sounded more and more superficial, under her recklessness and grab life by the balls attitude there wasn’t much underneath. Conversations she started weren’t about anything other than herself. that her thoughts were really only limited to how it concerned her. I was bored. Needless to say I didn’t care if she cared about me but as far as her being a way to kill time I was bored senseless.

To be clear it wasn’t like I was judging her for her having her own self-interests, in fact that was the only thing we had in common. It was actually beneficial that she never expected anything of me and in return I didn’t expect anything of her, and I liked it that way. The problem I had was that this whole situation was becoming more of a chore than a distraction. It didn’t help that with a few nights ago I wasn’t sure if I would need to reconsider her as a threat.

The face she made that night, when she shoved the food off the table had me questioning if she had enough intent to be able to actually try something, but whenever I did a passive check on her, the stats kept coming up unchanged. Nothing to worry about there.

The color blue caught my attention, it looked out of place among the warm colors of the restaurant. My eyelights fell on the waiter headed in our direction and I felt myself perk up in recognition. When he saw me, the mild expression he wore lit up into a face splitting grin and the measured gait he had quickened into practically a hop.

Tops hadn’t changed much in the years that I hadn’t seen him. The blue rabbit monster still had an air of goodwill around him. I was happy to see that the years had been kind to him, evident by the lack of any visible scars except a thing line across his cheek where fur refused to grow and absence of a certain steel in his eye that usually came with seeing too many good monsters dust.

. When he got to the table he regarded me with outstretched arms, If I had been standing then maybe I would have let the monster hug me, but he settled for a pat on the shoulder. You wouldn’t know by looking at him now but this monster wasnt always cheery type. More often than not we could be found together getting into fights we really shouldn’t have been when we were too young to know any better.

Back in the day we used to watch each other’s backs. We were on our own trying to make a living with notoriously low HP’S so naturally we made sure neither of us got hurt, we had to provide for our siblings and that meant we couldn’t afford to go home empty handed. That rare partnership quickly eneded once my ‘employment’ under asgore started and I hadn’t talked to him since. Which, was probably for the best back then.

“heyy red! Looks like life is treating you good if youre sitting at the best seat of the house.”

The way he said my nickname with the same warmth old friends did rather than the disdainful way people said it in passing. While it wasn’t always said with the most happy of intentions, the old nickname garnered a lot less attention than mentioning ‘the judge”.
I could feel myself smiling along with tops, losening rigid atmosphere that had began to settle into my bones.

“ I guess you could say that, how ya been? haven’t talked to you in a while.”

“well who’s fault do you think that is? You dropped off the face of hotland and never spoke to me again.”

“you got me there,” I shrugged. He wasn’t wrong. “well, I live at the base of the mountain if you ever wanna stop by for good times sake. Paps would love to see you.” I grinned at him.

“uh huh, sure. More like that giant bag of bones wants to use me as a ground stake for target practice. You think he forgot about that casserole dish I broke?”

“Id bet my tailbone that he hasn’t.” I chuckled, the surprise encounter had lightened my mood and I had almost forgot that I was sitting here with company. I glanced over to Emily, my smile falling.

Tops followed my eye and the smile that had been wide a moment ago turned professional and tight. “ hello miss, sorry about that. Would you like to start with a drink or are you ready to order?”

Emily orders something that I don’t pay attention to, something like a fake pasta or something. I couldn’t help but think Paps would hate it here too, there was just something about imposter pasta that sounded like it would drive paps crazy.

Lost in thought I had to clear my throat to keep from chuckling to myself when tops turns to me I just order a drink. I asked him to get me something strong didn’t matter what. He hurries off and shortly returns with a smokey tasting drink with a slow burn. I swirled the drink in my glass while I waited for her food to get here.

Regarded each other in silence, and the uncomfortable air from earlier seemed to only thicken now. It was more suffocating than the tight collar of my dresshirt.

Emily sipped off her own drink. It looked like she had went with one of the wines here. whatever it was it was red. Thinking back to that night The vivid red across the pristine white carpet I couldn’t help but think that she must really into red wine. I look down into my own glass and decide that wine would never be my speed.

“aren’t you hungry?” she asked. I looked up from my drink then. She hadn’t looked up though, pretending to be just as preoccupied with her drink.

“nah, I wont be able to eat till Ive burned off some energy first. The extra food right now wouldn’t do anything for me.” It wasn’t a complete lie, eating more than I needed really wouldn’t benefit me at all, but I was starving right now. This vegan food wasn’t cutting it though. I would only have to sit through an hour and then I would go eat at grillby’s.

Emily didn’t ask any more questions about me getting food. She just nodded probably deciding that prodding me about what I could eat was a bad idea.

“can I ask you a question?”

Or maybe I was wrong. “you just did,” I said borrowing the joke.

The corner of her mouth twitched downwards but she didn’t respond.

“okay sure, whats on your mind.”

“I wanted to maybe talk, about the last time we…had dinner.” she held her hands up palms facing me in a placating gesture for me to wait a moment. as if I was going to start yelling at her or something. She put her hands back down on the table cupping the stem of her wine glass. “I don’t want to ruin tonight. This has been one of the nicest gestures a guy has ever given me, even if I’m confused about what brought it on.”

She wasn’t wrong, under most circumstances you would expect a yelling match or something else that I didn’t have the energy for.

So I didn’t respond, it was better for her to go ahead and get whatever it was off her chest but the part about this being the nicest gesture shes ever had struck me as weird. Didn’t her family come from money? Something like this shouldn’t be all that special if she’s used to have maids and whatever the fuck else waiting on her hand and foot.

“Full disclosure… I don’t really know what I’m doing. I usually talk to may first about what I should do in this sort of situation but I can’t get in contact with her.” Her cheeks go red and she has the common decency to look embarrassed about her need to have someone else tell her what to think.

“I just, I’m sorry. I don’t think I apologized for that night. Its…hard to admit that I’m wrong. I’m working on it.”

Huh, that wasn’t what I had expected while it was no surprise that she was out of practice with apologizing I hadn’t been waiting for one. The awkward tension only deepened when Tops came back with her food and set it down in front of her, taking in our expressions. It was more awkward for her than it was for me. Tops left us and Emily poked at her food, chasing a tomato around her plate of pasta with her fork.

“and I’ve been thinking about what you said,” she continued. “about why I even liked you in the first place. “ she takes a settling breath and looks into my eye lights. She seemed set in what she wanted to say.

“honestly, I don’t have a reason. I never did, but I was hoping to find someone who needs my company as much as I needed theirs.” Hey eyes finally move away, drifting somewhere that wasn’t my face. “ I just want to feel wanted.”

I took the chance to throw back the rest of my drink instead of responding. I caught the eye of tops and gestured for him to get me two more. He quickly took in my situation from across the restaurant and nodded once before disappearing to hopefully get something stronger than what I just had.
Rreeers
“What I mean, really is that I don’t want to be alone.”

This was not going how I thought it would. It was getting too deep. “uh I guess no one does.” I was out of my element with this conversation. What was I supposed to say? I mean I got where she was coming from but this wasn’t something you talked about in a place so public. The thing was, hadn’t I been thinking along those lines when I had agreed to go along with this? Maybe not quite in the same way but I had thought that it would be nice to not be alone with my thoughts for a while.

“so, what im trying to say. Or what im trying to ask was if you wanted to try a little longer? To try at a relationship with me.”

A beat passed. And then another. I stared her in her eyes and I could feel a crease forming between my brows. I sighed and leaned on the table rubbing my temples.

“look, since we’re being honest with each other here im gunna level with you. I’ve never been the type to do stuff like this in the first place. What im looking for in a relationship isn’t gunna be the same as what youre looking for.”

I waited for disappointment to bleed through her calm expression but it didn’t, instead she waited for me to continue as if she was waiting for me to break the bad news to her.

“im more the type to just crack jokes and sit around. I’m not a romantic, and I don’t have the time to handle you with kid gloves.”

“so what youre saying is that, if im fine with that then this could possibly work?”

“I wouldn’t say that exactly, im just saying not to expect much and if you wanna hang around then that’s your choice. It doesn’t matter either way.”

Emily mulled that over. “okay, then.” Her pink lips quirked to the side as if she had a question that tasted sour, but I could see her work to get it out. “theres just a few other things.”

“while were spilling the beans might as well get those off your chest too.”

“its about sex. is that something that’s just not possible?”

My phalangies paused in kneading my temples. Well that question came out of the absolute bum fuck nowhere.

I looked down at her, in her low cut summer dress. It was cinched in to show off her curves. Her cornsilk colored hair was let down in a gentle wave. I appraised her form and while she wasn’t unappealing, I couldn’t see myself actually having sex with her. Maybe because I had my preconceived notions about her, and the added negative feelings I had turned me off. Plus If I couldnt trust her period then there was no fucking way I was going to put myself at such a vulnerable position.

I leveled my gaze on her “I don’t think we’d be physically compatible.” I said with a straight face. Ive never told her what I did or didn’t have. She didn’t need to know that I had the equipment for what she was asking.

She nodded as if coming to terms with things. “That’s my fault for assuming.” She sighed and I could see her coming to her own conclusions about what I was packing, or for all she knew the lack therof. “and.. that’s okay with you?”

I shrugged, “ never bothered me before.” I waved the question away dismissivally. I didn’t want string too many lies about that together. I just wanted her to forget the idea altogether. “but you said you had a few other things didn’t you? What else.” I asked, attempting to move this topic along to the next one. it couldn’t be more bold than sex, not that I was particularly scandalized by the topic so how bad could it be.

“do you think its possible to grow to love me one day?”

I felt my eyelights extinguish, and my jaw slacked. Just then, tops came with my drinks. There couldn’t be a better time. He quickly set them down and didn’t linger, taking the expression on my face as a sign that he wanted no part of this conversation. Not that tops was the type to easedrop anyway.

I worked to compose myself. My fucking luck that this would how she would choose to be unpredictable. See, exciting was fine but this kind of excitement usually wound up killing a person.

This subject was taboo to talk about in public or front of anyone else period. Something that if the wrong people overheard could cause problems. I quickly took in our surroundings and I was happy to see that the closest monsters to us were seated on the far end of the restaurant with two human couples between us. They weren’t paying us any mind and no one looked up at us with malicious intent. I practically went limp with relief when I couldn’t find a single curious glance, or lingering look.

I huffed and leaned back in my chair, maybe I was just overreacting. If something like that had been said underground every head would’ve been turned in our direction but here in this restaurant some of the monsters that were paired up here seemed alittle too cozy, alittle too affectionate with their partners to suggest that they were anything otherwise. I had to remind myself that things were different. Monsters operated different now, but that didn’t mean that some monsters just forgave and forgot all the shit that happened back then or that certain monsters had justified unfinished business with me.

So while it’s fine and dandy to be seen having a fling here and there it was a completely different thing to openly announce that I had any sort of FEELINGS for someone. Even if that’s just the impression someone got rather than the truth. Even though I didn’t care for Emily the last thing I wanted was to spark a race war with the humans just because some monster got too hasty and thought that they would be crippling me by just going after some human.

I told myself that it wouldn’t be my fault if she got herself killed out of her own stupidity. I wouldn’t be the one responsible for getting this human or any other killed this time. I guess I could contribute her ignorance to culture shock, this was a deep rooted thing that monsters were taught at a young age. It was pounded into my skull that doing that would be the easiest way to get targeted. But it looks like Humans had the luxury of not having to worry about such things.

Luckily tops hadn’t stayed to listen in on this conversation, I was so grateful. While he wasn’t someone I had to worry about new habits or not, he would be just as mortified as I was.

I regretted wishing for a change in topic. The conversation about sex felt so tame compared to this beast of a topic. That, and at least that topic wouldn’t get anyone killed.

“I er. I dunno? Maybe cool your jets a bit and just see what happens maybe?” I stressed the maybe, making sure that no that wasn’t any sort of promise. That expectations should stay abysmally low.

I didn’t listen for her reaction and threw back the next drink. Bless tops, he had given me something stronger all right. The drink took the edge off of the ravenous way my magic flicked along my bones where it waited to drain the protective layer if I began to run out. My magic surged and buzzed helping calm my nerves.

“okay,” she says. That’s all she says. As if accepting my terms. Just how lonely was she where she felt the need to cling to me of all people. But it wasn’t like I was keeping her hostage if she wanted to leave then she was always free to. “ Im sorry.. but im just getting a lot of mixed signals. Why bring me here and get all dressed up? We could have talked about this literally anywhere.”

I lean back in my seat. “honest truth?”

Emily nodded

“I heard that this was what a date was supposed to be like from someone and thought id try it.”

“oh.” Her lips pouted as she pondered that and leaned back in her own seat. She looked like a half deflated balloon, like the enthusiasm usually she looked like she was about to burst with was slowly leaking out of her.

“and if were still being blunt, I probably wont be doing it again anytime soon.” I finished my last drink and glanced down to her half-eaten pasta. “you gonna eat the rest of that?” I asked.

Emily looked like someone had shaken her until she saw stars and couldn’t regain her bearing. “no im full. Why? did you wanted some?” her voice was confused and listless.

I shook my head, “I was just gunna get you a to-go box if you needed one.”

Not waiting for her to answer I waved tops down and gave him the money for the food. Not bothering to ask for a check. “sorry I cant stay I have…another arrangement. Feel free to order anything else ya want, I gave tops enough for ya to have free reign of the drink menu.” I stood, stepping away from the table and turned to Emily. I worked to make my voice sound less cold, which felt foreign to me. “I guess I should say thank you for going outta your way the other night to try ‘n make a meal for me. But from now on let me get my own food.”

Emily looked like she was working to say something, but when nothing came it just added to the awkwardness of the situation. Rather than watch her socially hang herself on unspoken words I gave her a single wave and left, making a beeline to grillby’s.

Paps would’ve probably given me shit about bad table manners or something for leaving so abruptly but in all fairness I had sat there and watched her eat, which was a strange torture in itself even without the added uncomfortable conversation. That said I was close to running on empty again. Luckily no one would be able to tell the difference since I had been keeping a better eye on it today. The meal that Paps had loaded me down with this morning was burning off quickly though and I didn’t hesitate to shortcut when I was out of general view and closer to grillby’s .

The red sign above his restaurant made me feel a calm sense of nostalgia, Somehow even in this urban area covered in pavement and other crowded buildings the light still hit things the same way it did in snowdin. The bar felt like it had stood here longer than the rest of the buildings that it was situated between, even though it was the newest building on this block. The restaurant just had that sort of timeless quality of another era. Something about it always drew in the passerby and even if didn’t lure them in, it never failed to draw attention.

This restaurant felt like home. No doubt Grillby, one of the few monsters who knew I could shortcut would be able to feel my magic before I even took a step through the door

When I opened the thick wooden door, it was built with braving the harshest of snow storms in mind. I felt my scowl slip into a smile. As if this mild human city ever got snow bad enough where they would need a door like that. Nonetheless the door felt sturdy in my hands. Heavy in a way that felt like it was made with quality, unlike the flimsy human doors that I had to be careful not to open too roughly or close too hard.

The bar was immaculate, the floors never felt sticky when I walked across them, and the tables were almost immediately bussed when a party left. Though, that wasn’t saying much since any mess stayed fairly contained. Plates and cups were always considerately stacked before they left, just out of respect for grillby.

It had been a while since I had stopped by grillbys. Not a long time, but long enough. The smell of wood polish and monster alcohol filled the bar. Not to mention the sizzling and aroma of the food cooking in the back. My mind briefly wondered who was manning the grill if the flame monster himself wasn’t, because he stood there at the bar mixing up a drink for the patron. I didn’t linger on the thought for long I could feel my magic stir at the proximity of getting some actual food in me.

I made my way over to the bar, There was an empty stool there within grilby’s line of sight. When I plopped down onto it, no one so much as batted an eye. Here I was just any other monster. The moment I sat on my usual stool all unease and discomfort sloughing off of me in waves. I melted like a slab of butter on a hot summers day.

Grillby’s and a few other establishments were well known neutral grounds and for this I was grateful. They were the only place a monster could go to unwind without having to worry about who ever they had the misfortune of pissing off.

No one cared who was affiliated with who here and if they did it was settled outside. Sure part of the reason for that was keeping the peace but really the reason for the ‘no fighting’ policy was because no one wanted to disrespect the old fire elemental and be turned into charcoal.

While grilby’s was undisputedly powerful and could no doubt dust any monster without much effort, his he was also known for secretly being a softy. Even though he was a well-known cheapskate he helped more monsters than not. Often ‘forgetting’ how much a tab was if he saw that asgores new taxes were hitting some monsters hard

A gesture that no one mentioned, but was revered in a place where kindness was a pipe dream and while grillby was in no way a soft or tender monster and could fight his own battles, he never had a raise a finger himself when it came to tabs that were run out on.

Another patron would always pick up the tab and then proceed to find said monster that tried to pull a fast one and beat the ever-loving shit out of them. Sometimes the entire bar would join in if the mood was right. Jerry the lumpy creature, hadn’t been so misshapen before is last few times trying to run out on a bill.

So while it was an unspoken rule, and the reasoning behind it being multiple no one could deny that grillby deserved respect.

Grillby, finished serving the patron a particularly colorful- drink that I couldn’t be bothered to know the name of- and headed my way.

He sidled up to me and picked up a whiskey glass and began to buff it with a soft cloth “ where are you coming from?” he asks. Noting my semi formal attire, something that was a rarity to see.

I leaned over the counter, My black dresshirt reflecting in the immaculate surface. “that damn vegan place down the road.” I hooked a thumb towards the door

“why would you go somewhere like that?” he didn’t hide the almost offended tone to his voice. If you could call it a voice.

The sound was akin to hissing logs and crackling but mentally words were unmistakable and clear. Years of magic and sending out his intentions to make the sounds comprehendible was no doubt second nature to him now.

“before you blow your top I was only there because I was taking that human girl to dinner, I didn’t even take a bite.”

He nodded, satisfied that the only place that I ate from would be his place. Except for muffets, since he was regularly setting the arachnids back on fire from what I’ve heard. I grimaced at the mental image.

What he saw in that eight-legged swindler I didn’t know.

“the usual?” It’s not a question, he’s already ringing the bell to the chefs window behind him and I heard a grunt in acknowledgement.
I couldn’t catch a glimpse of who was working back there. Not that it mattered I just hoped that they would get it done soon.

I slumped against the bar, even though grillby’s usually helped me rest my tired bones that convo at the restaurant made me felt like I’ve aged a thousand years. If I was given the choice to go through another reset or go through that conversation again I wouldn’t lie I’d be tempered to get sent back to Snowden again. I felt a shiver when the question about the “L” word pestered me.

“You look like shit.”

I peered up from over my arms.

“I feel like shit.”

He chuckles but shrugs “you know, It’s been a while since we’ve caught up” grillby grabs a small bag from behind the counter and heads to the door leaving the bar. “ let’s go for a smoke.” And like that he’s out the door.

I blink lazily in his direction. What’s with this old man today? All a skeleton wanted to do was sit eat and NOT talk. All this talking was draining whatever energy that I really didn’t have.

Regardless, I drag my ass up from the chair. the smell of the burger cooking on the grill tormenting me as I put more and more distance between me and my stool. I guess I could go for a smoke while I waited.

Grillby was leaned up against the wall of the alleyway between his bar and the store next it. It was late enough where monsters and the sparse number of humans that milled around were more worried about finding food or a place to get hammered in than whatever it was two monsters were doing in a dark and desolate alleyway.

I leaned up against the wall next to him, pulling out a cigar and not asking to stick the pre cut edge of it against his forearm to light it.

He huffs irritably. “didn’t I buy you a lighter for gyftmas?”

“Yeah, but I lost it.”I say and take a pull on the cigar.

If grillby could roll his eyes he would have, the glowing white flame where his eyes would be didn’t move. So, instead he settles for throwing a piece of smoked wood directly into his face. It slips into the fire easily and his fire tints a deeper shade and smoke begins to column over his head. Tonight, he meant smoking literally.

Great then he was stressed out about something. He only did this to ease his nerves after a long day or if he was worried.

The smoked wood must’ve been something he made himself because it wasn’t any kind of smoked wood that I knew the smell of. The smell of it permeated the alleyway and completely overtook the flavor of my cigar. Now all I could taste was the flavor of something like spearmint and anise but only not quite.

“So.”

“So?”

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong with you or are you going to wait tillyou can’t handle it on your own.”

I glared at him, but somehow even I knew it didn’t have the sharpness that I wanted it to. He wasn’t wrong, and he wouldn’t be saying this for nothing. He didn’t like talking much either.

I let out a groan, an exaggerated thing that expressed just how tired I felt. I leaned the back of my skull on the bricks and looked up at the sky that seemed like a blank black blanket with all of the light here from the city hiding the stars.

“You want the long or the short of it?” I ask.

Grillby tossed a handful of the chips into his face and pops and crackles filled the silence while he pondered this.

“If you plan on bring honest about it then give me the long of it.”

“the whole story and the truth? Now I know youre going senile”

He waits patiently not even getting more wood chips when the flames eat through then as if it were paper instead of substantial nuggets of wood.

“I’m tired.” No I was exhausted.

“Well I couldve told you that sans.”

“Listen, things are just….hard up here. As much as I hated it underground things were simple. Black and white. It was either get your ass handed to ya and or ya stand up for yourself and dust someone else. There wasn’t a code of etiquette for what you do for when you bump into someone at the store or if you stepped on someone’s toes. You just fought, kept your guard up and your shit together and you’d be okay.”

“But you’re not okay,”

“Hell no I’m not. How the fuck am I supposed to go about being soft and normal like nothing happened, like I didn’t wipe out families, like it wasn’t my job.” I looked at grillby then looking for answers, something.

“Sans, I’ve been around for a long time. Long enough to know that youre supposed to face your mistakes and not let them bury you. Accept that those things happened but move on. Make amends if that would help you but stop wallowing in your own self-pity.”

“we’ve all done things down there that we’re not proud of.” If I didn’t know better I would’ve thought I heard regret and a small part of me wandered just what exactly he did. He takes a hearty clump and tosses it into his face a fresh plume billowing into the air. “like it or not, change happens even when we aren’t ready. I know you’ve only resurfaced two years ago, but we’ve all been up here for almost a decade. There was a transition period. No one came up here and was immediately transformed into sunshine and butterflies.”

It was rare for grillby to just dish out free advice and I clung to every word. If there was anything I knew he wouldn’t repeat them. “You’re over complicating things, focus on the little goals. If you’re setting your sights out on becoming an entirely new monster then you’re soft in the skull. But if you’re trying to ease some of your….abrasive tendencies then that’s going to take time.”

Grillby takes the remaining shavings of the wood into his palm and gently forms it into a ball. He pushes it into the side of his face where it drifted into the middle and immediately ignited. His flames brightened and now the alley way was lit enough for a human to be able to see down it. He huffed and a ring of smoke puffed out above him in a ring. Forming a pseudo halo over him that rose and dissipated.

“you must be putting in some effort if you’re a monster to dinner without dusting them. And vegan food no less!” He chortled good-naturedly sending embers spiraling into the air. Then abruptly he stopped, his glasses gleamed as he peered at me. “You didn’t dust them did you?” he confirmed jokingly and just like that the sagely air he put on dissipated. I wouldn’t count on getting any more free advice.

“No, I didn’t. And she isn’t a monster either.”

“Oh right you did mention that didn’t you.” He chuckles, “that is a surprise.”

I wasn’t sure if he was talking about the fact that she was human or that I had the self control not to accidentally kill her. I would be offended if I hadn’t just attacked her friend last night.

“Thanks,” my reply was drenched with sarcasm.

“Are you two serious yet?”

“Fuck no, we’re not serious.” I spat.

Grillby gave me a pointed look to my attire. The dressy outfit contradicting my denial.

“I’ve Just never known you to put work into courtship, is all.”

“I dunno grillbs I just thought that,” I scratched the back on my skull.” I dunno. This was the first step into a change? It feels stupid.”

he gave me a look that said it sounded stupid too.

“you know what I mean, Im not blind to how monsters still look at me. Like I’m a hairs breath from exploding on a bystander.

“So your steps to change were to dress…formally? With a human girl? I really do think you’re overthinking things.” Grillby turns to me then, and even though he doesn’t mean to his intention of concern flare towards me. “sans who exactly are you trying to prove this to?”

“ I dunno grillby. To no one? To myself? Isnt this what normal monsters do? Pair up and start feeling those warm and fuzzies that make them go soft?

He guffaws. “well if that’s what you want then it would make more sense to find a girl you connect with and then work to change. There’s no point if you’re just wasting your time with someone you just tolerate. That is what it sounds like by the way.” There was an air of amusement to his chastisement, the old fucker was enjoying giving me unsolicited love advice and seeing me squirm. “Because if its one thing I know, getting involved with the wrong partner can definitely make you want to dust a monster. You wanna know how many times I almost dusted fuko’s mother? Thank the stars we never soul bonded.”

I couldn’t argue with that logic, but I wasn’t ready for the vulnerability that something like a real relationship came with. It would be easier to work on my own self-control and general roughness with someone who absolutely irked me.

Stretch out the ol patience muscle so to speak. Something he definitely had been doing lately, but it definitely needed more work considering I’m on strike two for almost killing lulu’s human.

That was a talk I really wasn’t looking forward to. I could say goodbye to my supply of snacks now. At least I could always get emergency stuff from that froggit corner store for now . Though the aspect of trying to check out with a trembling froggit monster behind the till was less than appealing.

“well what if there just isn’t anyone I tolerate?”

Grillby crackles a laugh, his flames billowing. “That would be a problem now wouldn’t it! If you ever find them I want you bring them by.” The was a beat of silence before grillby sputtered another laugh.“As if, at this rate your little sister will give me grandchildren before you will.”

Now it was my turn to guffaw “ you mean at the rate SHES going! you’ll have a dozen little kindling grand babies running around. You’ll have to preoccupy yourself with flame proofing the house because relationship or not kids aren’t on my itinerary.”

His mood turned sour at the realization, “I’m going to ignore that comment about fuko for now before I accidentally set fire to the bar while I’m on my shift.”

“You say that but you’re going to have to run around putting out fires before the fire department and you all become heavily acquainted.”

Grillbys flames changed into a concerned shade of lilac and the rate at which the wood burned became almost ravenous. It would be better to stop teasing him before he really did set fire to something. Grillby would have my coccyx if I were the reason why they’re was a new scorch mark on his new bar.

He finishes his cigar, and gestures back inside “no offense but I’m still starving, you think that burger is ready by now?” I asked changing the subject.

Grillbys flame Slowly transitioned back to its original shade . “Should be, my new cook is pretty skilled with an open flame.”

I made slow eyecontact with grillby pausing with my hand on the door handle and squinted. The smirk on grillby’s face was unmistakable.

My face scrunched up in unbridled disgust. First muffet, and now some chef. This old man was trying to hit every culinary monster in town. For all I knew he would be slow roasting some veggetoid’s back.

“ gross, your new chef better be wearing gloves when they make my food or I’m going to find the nearest hose and drench you with it.” I hurried inside, deciding that if I physically left this conversation then I’d un-hear what he just said.

Grillby shrugged, “as if you’d get to me before I turn you to a cinder.”

He said following after me into the bar.

Chapter Text

Chapter 18

I struggled to pull my eyes from his bare skin where His robe parted. The lean muscle of his chest on full display, and what was worse my hands were splayed out across it. The warmth I found there was inviting, tempting me to draw closer.

We were close enough where I was worried he would be able to feel how hard my heart was thudding All I could smell was the sweet and musky scent of his bodywash. It reminded me of blue skies and summer breezes. He held me gently against him, completely too softly. It was torture to feel his fingers skim along the hem of my shirt only to leave me longing for his hands to graze my skin.

No doubt right now we both looked like night and day. Where I felt like id buckle under the weight of my emotions, he looked calm and self-assured, sure in his hold of me. His eyes met mine and I saw his lips move but wasn’t focused enough to make it out. Words had lost all meaning while I tried to make my way back from the bleariness that I finally heard him ask-

‘do you need me’

I blinked once, then twice. He leaned in, his lips not even inches from my ear.

“may, are you okay?”

He asked, his voice soft. the look I had mistaken for desire had been curiosity maybe but mostly concern.

“yeah uh im sorry what did you say?” My voice came out in a tiny squeak.

“I was asking if you need me for something,” He said, concern seeping into the patient tone.

the look I had mistaken for desire had been curiosity maybe but mostly concern. My heart dropped then, so that’s what he meant. I felt stupid. Leave it to my own mind to conjure up a misunderstanding like that. He said that he would only ever act on anything more intimate if I had asked, and my thoughts had been running wild since.

As if he could hear my thoughts and wanted to confirm, just that he loosened his grip: sliding his hands over my forearms to hold my hands instead. Allowing for a reasonable distance between the two of us.

“oh,” I blinked again, settling my heart. I backed away from him, letting his now empty hands fall between us. I side eyed his bed. What had I even come in here to do anyway? To figure out what I’d felt? To confirm that something felt weird? To…change my mind? I hopped off that train of thought before it could reach its destination.

“I did, but I forgot what it was,” I smoothed imaginary wrinkles out of my clothes, attempting to put my thoughts back in order in the process. “don’t worry about it.” I offered him a reassuring a smile, but I could feel how lopsided it came out.

Scott scoured my expression and his eyebrows furrowed some, it only served to make me feel more self-conscious about my inability to be able to just go ahead and ask him. To ask him to hold me like I wasn’t a fragile as glass.

“If you say so Mayple,” He kissed me on the cheek. It was chaste and not much more than a light brush against my skin. It was lighter than butterfly kiss but it still sent electricity up my spine, tingling against my lips in anticipation. But before I could even react he was already skirting around where I stood. Completely oblivious of my struggle to keep from turning into a flustered puddle. I smoothed down my clothes and turned to him. Trying to build up the nerve try to make him just as flustered, or make to ask for another kiss.

I spun away with a yelp when my eyes met his bare back. He was in the process of disrobing to get dressed. I hadn’t caught much but the image if his bare shoulders as he slid off his robe was seared into my mind.

He couldn’t have seen me but he still chuckled at the startled sound that had squeaked out of me.

“ I didn’t figure you for much of a peeping tom. Not that I mind of course.” I shot him a scandalized look, which just earned another laugh him, “ im sorry to say, but this is a look don’t touch sort of situation I can’t be late for class.” He really did look like he was sorry that the offer wasn’t on the table right now. With the look he was giving me it wouldn’t be hard to imagine that if the conditions had been right and he didn’t have somewhere to be that he would have no problem obliging more than just wandering glances.

For now, he seemed to make due, his languid gaze lingered on me. they rolled over my thighs, lingered over my chest, and rested on my lips. When his eyes finally lifted back up to mine I felt like I was having trouble breathing. Without saying a thing, he had succeeded in blowing any coherent thoughts out of my brain as easily as if they were dandelion seeds.

“um yeah that’s okay. I’ll uh be downstairs.” ‘Look don’t touch’ I reminded myself when I could feel my own self-restraint waning. Before the last of my self-control up and died I hurried away.

“youre so cute,”

I pretended I didn’t hear that. But there was no pretending I couldn’t hear the sound of his lighthearted laugh as it followed me from his room. I rushed to be out of his line of sight. Maybe I’d to regain my composure easier from somewhere he couldn’t see.

I bounced down the stairs taking quick steps. the embarrassment was quickly fading and the kiss he gave me, was sending pleasant flutters of giddiness through me.

I stood by the couch and found that came in waves, warming my cheeks and making my lips tingle but didn’t make any attempt to subside. It affected everything, from the way I felt to even how the room looked. the house that had been filling with harsh morning light before was now bathed in golden sunlight, that made everything look gilded with morning rays.

I patted my cheeks, I needed to think straight. While being around him wasn’t a problem I didn’t feel like myself when he kissed me. it was like everything glittered with promises of good things to come, it clung to me for hours after the fact. I wasn’t entirely sure if this was an extension of what I could do or if it was just because I enjoyed his lips on my skin, all I knew was that it always made me want more. Regardless, that didn’t change the fact that it still left me feeling empty when all was said and done and I wouldn’t see him for long periods at a time.

There wouldn’t be any avoiding feeling horrible later, I could prevent myself from feeling worse all I needed to do was calm down before I got too carried away.

I huffed, that was easier said than done. A cold shower would’ve been the most ideal for snuffing out any of the more…stubborn thoughts but it definitely wasn’t the best option. Not when I would have to pass by his room again to get to it. So, the next best thing would be to splash some water on my face, and at least make an attempt to act normal.

Despite my ‘attempt’ to act normal, I couldn’t help but all but skip the bathroom. Even if I might have misunderstood him earlier this morning, there had been no mistaking the look on his face. something in my stomach fluttered when I felt the weight of his gaze on my lips. I bit my bottom lip finding myself hurring to the restroom alittle faster.

The bathroom was down the hall and around the corner, right next to the backdoor, but when I found myself in front of the bathroom I hesitated. He sure hadn’t been kidding about the door’s lock being broken. It looked like the door frame had been busted into, and the door hinges were slightly askew leaving the door free to gently swing on its own .

What the hell? I lightly touched the door to test if it would stay on it’s hinges. My fingertips so much as brushed the door and I was slammed with a sensation of disorientation that hit me like a truck. It felt like had a drink too many and the repercussions were hitting me all at once. I struggled to stand straight but I kept the hand that had touched the door tucked into my chest, breathing heavy to work through the sensory overload.

My breaths came out shaky, but once I could see straight I gingerly unfurled my hand. I stared down at it, and then the door.

I hadn’t been ready to take on anything that intense. I hadn’t been ready for anything. Scott’s house was one of the few places that I never had to keep my guard up. I never had to be weary of anything with him, or things in his home.

My brow furrowed in concentration, trying to work up the mental guards I had lowered grasping at ghosts of a wall to put up between me and the feelings I wasn’t prepared to keep out. Even if I couldn’t read scott, I shouldn’t be so careless and just leave myself completely open to receive anything and anything that came my way. That stuopid kind of behavior would be how I had a full breakdown right in front of him.

My heart that had had been fluttering before, painfully palpitated. It slowly replacing the good mood I had been in with a growing anxiety I couldn’t escape from. The simple paneled bathroom door now seemed sinister as I bunched up the sleeve of my shirt to open it the rest of the way. Luckily the was fabric a good enough buffer to keep me from feeling lightheaded.

I looked around the small powder room. It was tidy. The wasn’t anything out of place, Id even say that looked pretty similar to when I saw it last, except for the medicine cabinet and shower curtain which were new. I walked in as the wrong feeling passed, deciding that I would splash my face with water like I had planned to do before. It would help ground me, and calm me down.

Only, It had been the wrong decision. I had leaned a hand against the surface of the sink countertop and yelped, nearly tripped on my own two feet.

I yanked my hand away this time as if the countertop bit me. I scrambled away from the sink. Which was hard to do since my legs felt like jello on a hots summers day and my head wasn’t much better.

I panted, hot heavy breaths heaved out of me, but I still couldn’t get enough air. I sucked it down but I was suffocating, it was all I could do to hold on to my balance with all I had. Feeling determined to stay upright in a show of defiance to my traitorous body.

I needed a place to sit so I could see straight, or better yet lay down so the world would finally stop spinning. I made the mistake of not paying attention and my legs got snagged on each other in my haste to turn around to get out. Even while I was so disoriented, I could see the floor rushing up to meet my face and I instinctively grabbed the door to catch myself.

I hadn’t hit the floor, but when my bare hand gripped the door I really wish I had. I didn’t know how, but I made it to the couch. Had the feeling been too intense? Had I blacked out? My breathing was shallow now and I didn’t know if I was fighting off an ‘attack’ or a panic attack. Either way I couldn’t afford to have one here. Not when scott would come downstairs at any minute.

My fingers dug into the upholstered surface of it gripping the back with all the force I could muster. I could smell iron and I swiped at my nose and was grateful to not find blood there. fought a roll of nausea while I stared down at the pin striped pattern that the material sported. The lines writhed and moved like an optical illusion as I tried to focus on it. My breath came out in pants for all the effort and I kept my legs tensed to keep my self upright.

The vertigo began to mount, the building sensation making me feel like I would to fall to my knees when they wobbled beneath me. To my dismay I knew that this definitely wasn’t a panic attack was coming. I resolutely stared down at the pattern on the couch hoping that if I focused on it long enough the feeling would pass before the attack happened.

Even though I was in no way fine, I was able to regain my composure by the time Scott came downstairs. He passed right by where I still held onto the couch like the world would fall away from me like a bridge of shattered glass.
Thank god he was oblivious because even though my breathing had settled and I was doing my best to appear casual, I have no doubt that if he hadn’t been preoccupied he would have noticed something was off. It meant I wouldn’t have to offer half baked explanations while I had to fight the rising feeling of getting sucked under by the repercussions that came from getting hit by intense emotions, With sensations that my body wasnt meant to handle.

I focused on slowly ungripping the couch. I poured my attention into peeling off a finger at a time, while Scott rushed around getting things together for his day. I felt steady enough for now, steady enough to pretend even if its just for alittle while. I straightened and worked to unsquared my shoulders, breathing out through my nose in a huff.

I swallow ,“hey scott?” My voice hadn’t cracked but I cringed when it comes out sounding strained.

“yes?” He called back

“do you ever have other company over?”

“Sometimes!”

My heart stuttered.

“They crash here sometimes, Or they raid my fridge when Im not here.” He shrugged.

“why do you ask?”

“oh I was just wondering what happened to your bathroom door,” I let out a nervous chuckle. “ it looked like a swat team came and kicked the door in.”

It was quiet for a moment, the clattering in the kitchen ceasing. I chanced a glance at scott, he wore an odd expression on his face, not quite angry but definitely not indifferent.

. “ Yeah you’re not wrong I’m pretty sure one of them were horsing around and broke it.” He let out a deep sigh. “ I need to get that fixed.”

He fills his thermos with what was no doubt tea. The tinny sound of the hot liquid filling the metal thing rang out in the otherwise silent room.

“ Should I wait up?” I asked while he slung his backpack over his shoulder.

“I don’t want to make you wait up, I wont be here till late and even then I’ll have to work on a paper right when I get back. “ He strode over and pressed another chaste kiss to my forehead.

this time the kiss didn’t accompany that heat I had felt before. It just felt cold and empty, devoid of any of the incandescent feelings usually I had whenever he kissed me.

He must’ve mistook whatever expression I made as disappointment because he brought me into a one armed hug. If I looked the way I felt then It must’ve looked like crap. “hey don’t look so down, how about in two weeks we meet back up? Even go on a nice date?” He pulled me away from his chest where he could look down at my face.

We stood there examining each other, there wasn’t anything other than worry on his face, there was nothing like guilt from what I could tell. The fact that I couldn’t find it there wasn’t completely reassuring, not when reading faces had never been my expertise.

Plus, I didn’t even know what that would even look like on him. I squeezed him tight, bringing him as close as I could. I didn’t want to think of him like that.

“May? Are you alright?”

Scott had always been sweet to me, he always went of out of his way to care for me. Even right now, he was worried about me. Desperate to feel something than this abysmal feeling I grasped his shirt tighter and brought him down to give him a peck on the lips.

I let go of his shirt and nodded, not trusting my voice enough to reassure him.

Scott looked at me somewhat bewildered. He was in no way flustered but I knew he hadn’t been expecting me to be so bold. He smiled that warm happy smile that I had wanted to see when I first saw him yesterday. the warmth even reaching his eyes in just the right way but I could still feel how he had tensed up with his arm draped around me.

Somehow, this kiss hadn’t helped me feel happy or content, it was completely devoid of those welcome tingles that usually traveled up the nape of my neck and over my lips. Even though we’ve been dating for a while now it still made me feel too vulnerable to make the first move. What was worse was that this kiss hadn’t helped me feel any closer to him. If anything, it made me feel more removed.

My heart clenched at that realization. With a final squeeze, scott pulled away and made his way to the door a bounce in his step, once again oblivious to the somber mood that had settled on the room like dust in an abandoned house

“see you in two weeks! I finish testing for one class on Tuesday, so let’s meet on Wednesday of that week.” He beams at me and just like that leaves the house, somehow taking a bit of sunlight with him.

I stood there silently following with my eyes as he climbed into his car. I couldn’t hear his car start up but I could see him drive past. It was only then That the last few threads of restraint snapped. I hadn’t realized I had been trembling until I gave up trying to keep my composure. When there wasn’t anyone to pretend for.

When the attack came, Luckily it was short lived. The emotions I had felt had only been second hand so they hadn’t had a chance to dig into me and hollow me out like it usually did, but even though it wasn’t nearly as bad. I still wasn’t coherent or able to do anything while it was happening.

I had just present enough to be intimately aware of each flitting emotion as it passed through me.

Instead of being dashed against a cliff face by the furious waves of an ocean, this was more like being filled to the brim and then to bursting, so all I could see and think about was the the dizziness that flipped and flopped between falling and spinning and inebriation until I exhausted every niche of the feeling. As if my body was trying to force itself to become intimately familiar with the uncomfortable sensations of each.

When I finally pulled through, I was on all fours fighting the sensation of not knowing where up was. It looked like vertigo was the last dregs of what I had to suffer through before I was able to hesitantly get to my feet, not trusting myself or anything around me. Only when I was sure that I wouldn’t topple over from a slight breeze I made my way over to the kitchen sink.

I gingerly touched the tap, When the feeling didn’t come back, I grabbed it with more pressure and turned it on. I gulped down the cool water. My parched throat only barely satiated. I breathed heavy, As if getting more air in me would help me feel more at ease. It didn’t.

I went to go collect my things. Deciding to take scott’s advice and head home, I didnt want to unintentionally stumble across any other surfaces that had that god awful feeling surrounding it.

I traversed the house now as if it was riddled with invisible mines and made sure to be very conscious about what I touched. Leaving large births of space between me and walls or doorways.

I cringed when I had to grab the doorknob, half-expecting to be bombarded with heavy emotions but when nothing special happened I sighed with relief.

It was only when I was seated back in my car that I could truly breathe easy. The air left my lungs with a shudder.

I rested my head on the steering wheel, folding my arms under me. I felt too exhausted to drive home. Too exhausted for anything today. I just wanted to crawl into my own bed and not think about anything. But that couldn’t happen unless I spent the energy that I already didn’t have to get home. I hated that my past self hadn’t thought ahead, if I had my phone maybe I could have called Emily to get me. On second thought, maybe it was for the best that I wasn’t able to. The thought of having to endure anything more than maybe mild itchy curiosity made me feel queasy.

My stomach threatened to lurch and I was painfully reminded about what happened in his house. I knew what the emotion was. I had felt it plenty times around Emily in smaller doses, when she brought home a new significant other. I had felt it in passing on the night of Fuku’s the party while I danced. I felt it when I passed bars late at night.

So I wasn’t stupid enough to not know what the feeling was. I couldn’t deny that the feeling had been arousal. A ridiculous amount. I felt sick, my stomach rolling with nerves. That posed its own questions though. Who’s feelings did they belong to? If there’s one thing that I was sure of, It was that the residual feelings couldn’t have been his. I still couldn’t read anything from him, that hadn’t changed so this wouldn’t be any different. That didn’t completely rule out that he hadn’t participated in….creating it but it didn’t prove it either.

If it was true that he had friends come and go from his house when he wasn’t there, who was to say that one of them didn’t decide to use the vacant house to do more than just relax.

Even so I couldn’t settle the uneasiness in my heart. It felt like a slow burn that started at my throat, making it tighten, before it clawed its way down, down, down before it settled in my chest where it ate a hole in me.

I didn’t want to think about this anymore. If it was really his friends, then he wouldn’t let them come back after breaking the door. That would be the normal thing to do. If I came back in two weeks and found things like that again then I…

Then what? I didn’t know what I would do. I could feel my eyes prickle with unwanted tears. I blinked them back and breathed, turning on my car. If it was still there next time Id confront him about it. But there couldn’t be any way he was cheating. My heart clenched just thinking the word.

Why would he stay in the relationship if he didn’t want to be anymore? He wouldn’t look at me the way he had if he didn’t love me but there was still this doubt, and I hated that no matter what evidence I told myself proved against it, the doubt remained.

It followed me as I pulled onto the road and I drove out of town. I kept focused on where I needed to go instead of where I was headed away from, that was until a flash of movement caught my attention from a house along the side of the road. My heart picked up a neck-breaking speed, the worries I had disappeared in the face of something much worse.

My mother had gotten to her feet from the chair on her porch. Her eye’s tracking me as I drove by. In the brief moment I saw her I made out the glint of her too-white teeth form sickening wide grin that took up too much of her face. I floored it, there weren’t any cars on the road so I made my one and only priority focusing on making my way out of town as fast as possible.

Chapter Text

When I was back out on open road, I fumbled for the radio and turned up whatever music was playing. Luckily, it was just loud unintelligible rock music filled with guitar riffs and growling instead of anything love related. Good music without words, not intelligible ones anyway. There was no chance of stumbling across something that would let me linger on a unwanted thought for too long, there was just the rhythmic sound of drums and strumming of bass.

The drive home was spent focusing mindlessly on the road, the silence that had been a passenger in the car with me was devoured by the just as ferocious music that never let up.

When I got home My muscles were rigid. I hands ached as I peeled my fingers from the steering wheel. I hadn’t noticed that I had been driving white knuckle the whole way and I regretted it now. I had managed to get home on auto pilot. I didn’t remember most of the drive, but I was still grateful to be able to park. Even more grateful when I saw lulu’s car parked in the driveway.

But whatever appreciation I felt died as I looked at the other car parked in front of my house. Why was Emily here? I hadn’t been able to get ahold of her for a few days. Had I made plans with her and forgot?I didn’t think I did, but I didn’t have the energy to rack my brain to try and recall.

I got out, grabbing my bag from the backseat. My head was throbbing to an imaginary beat now that the music had stopped playing, it caused me to wince when I slammed my car door shut. I barely had time to pull my keys from my purse and put them in the lock before the door swung open. The keys disappearing from my hand as they swung away from me still attached to the lock, coming a to violent metallic clatter as they all collided against the door.

Emily and lulu stood in the doorway, but Emily didn’t hesitate to grab me up into a bone crushing hug. “May! Are you okay? where have you been!” She held me away from her to look me over. her excited energy uncharacteristically all nervousness and worry, was unavoidable. I couldn’t help but lean away from her. I wasn’t ready to be bombarded with this sort of energy right now. All I wanted to do was hole up in my room. Away from anything too overwhelming.

I made sure to keep my eyes off of hers, looking at the ground where it was safe, where I wouldn’t catch her eyes. That would be the last thing I needed right now. I could feel their eyes on my face, their stares weighed on me as if they were prodding fingers.

Lulu’s worry increased ten-fold and I rushed to answer. “I’m okay, I left to go visit scott.”

There was a flash of surprise from Emily blinding me as much as an unexpected camera flash. Leaving me temporarily dazed. Every new emotion that was being sent my way was like a sucker punch and I didn’t have it in me to put up my guard.

I offered them a smile and didn’t say much else as I came in the rest of the way. moving around Emily and grabbing the keys out of the door all at once. I threw down my bags by the doorway, the litteral weight off my shoulders doing wonders for my stiff achy body, and beelined for the couch only to draw up short when I could feel a familiar sense of numbness.

My eyes flashed up to the source. I took in the person sitting there and immediately funneled the remaining amount of energy I had into rage. Sans squinted at me as if confused as to why I had suddenly noticed him there.

He was sitting on the far end of the couch, sprawled out in a way that said he was completely comfortable sitting there. I couldn’t even feel surprised that, He really didnt give a damn about what he did the last time he was here. Or that he had the nerve to show his face here again.

As if adding insult to injury the only thing that kept me from being overstimulated from all of the energies in the room, was him. As much as I didn’t want to stay in the same room with him I also couldn’t deal with this conversation without being numb to everyone else.

It felt like defeat to sit at the far end of the couch as far away as I could sit from him but it didn’t feel like a loss I could help. As much as crawling into bed without another word sounded oh so tempting, Emily and lulu were my friends; and they’re worried. It would be horrible of me to just ignore them just because I cant stand the company of one person.

Lulu sat next to me on the L shaped couch and Emily sat next to ‘him’. A part of me wanted to tell emily just how much of a jerk sans really was, but typically anytime other I did that she’d only grew more attached to her partner. That’s a problem I would have to work out later.

I watched Emily sit next to him and even lean on him, and it took everything in me to even use minimal effort to hide my displeasure. If anyone asked I could just tell them it was my pounding headache. It wasn’t entirely a lie, considering that I drove two hours with that blasting music right after an attack.

“what happened may?” lulu asks. Her voice is calm, and as if it held a bearing on her emotions her worry settles into something less extreme. I could tell that she was really trying to control them, and her attempts at calm were appreciated and It even helped to calm down myself. The worried feeling of being dropped was far too similar to the disorientation of lust and only when her concern settled into a gentle cradle did my stomach stop flipping.

“I came home to pick up a few things and I found your phone shattered just lying on the table.” Lulu frowned, “which was bad enough but there were glass bits scattered everywhere. I was worried that something happened.”

My eyes unintentionally shot up to the source of that exact ‘something’ before leaning back and looking at the ceiling. Closing my eyes. I was spent. “Im sorry I thought I had gotten up most of the glass.” My own voice came out like I had pulled an all-nighter, which in all actuality I pretty much had.

I gave lulu an apologetic smile, “so you know how I know I said that I wasn’t the type to drink alone…in the dark?” I let out an awkward chuckle, “well you see I’m sort of clumsy and wound up tripping over my own feet and I made a mess.” The event of that night came back to me in flashes, of being slammed into a wall, of teeth and claws, of black too dark. “ It was a pretty bad day, so I went to go visit my boyfriend. I’m sorry I thought I got up most of the glass.”

The forced calm that lulu was trying to keep became more genuine, the underlying worry lessening to practically nothing. “oh, that was all?”

I nodded, feeling guilty about lying to her about this.
“how come you didn’t tell me you were having such a bad day? I would’ve had a few drinks with you!”

“em, Ive been trying to reach you for a few days now. I was starting to think you needed some time to yourself.”

“what are you talking about? I havent gotten any notifications from you.” She flips her phone open to look and after a bit of scrolling her face flushes slightly and I could feel the spiraling embarrassment spread out from her. “oh, um- Now that misunderstanding is cleared up, how was your visit?”

I wasn’t the only one that thought that the segue was not at all subtle if Lulu’s irritation was anything to go by. It felt like chains that were just a few degrees off from being scalding and just enough to be uncomfortable.

Emily looked on expectantly, her eagerness a close companion to her concern as the two emotions warred for which one would sit forefront in her mind while she waited for my answer.

I couldn’t help but bristle, between the questions I still had no answers for and the audience of people in this room, I really didn’t want to open up that can of worms. What I wanted to do was bury said can of worms and forget about it entirely.

Emily watched me eagerly, and I could feel heat prickles of her itchy curiosity. It was almost unbearable. Lulu, was watching me just as closely, but her curiosity was securely contained, I could only feel It if I actively searched for it.
whereas lulu’s worry was only as contained as a chained animal. It bucked against her own reigns and fought its way to the forefront. While I hated it, I focused everything on san’s odd wavelength. Clinging to the numbness that he unknowingly provided.

I sighed, “em, please lets not talk about this right now okay?” I had thought that being with him again would help me get through some of the stuff I was struggling with, and maybe even help me feel less lonely, but it hadnt. It had only made it feel worse.

“raincheck?”

I didn’t need to read her to know she was disappointed.I closed my eyes, feeling too tired to move and react to the extremely itchy curiosity that felt like buzzing mosquitoes. I almost didn’t even care that sans was sitting in the same room, not saying anything. I could care less if he saw me like this.

“alright then, we can always catch up later, I wanted to update you on some stuff anyway.” I felt the couch shift and it creak quietly.

I cracked an eyelid open to look at her. She was standing now beaming at lulu “ Layla, it was nice to meet you.”

“its Lulu”

“isn’t that what I said?” and with that she left the room in an excited whirlwind. She felt like an upbeat tornado. Like nothing could stand in her way, and if they tried she would just blow right through it. She waved for sans to follow but didn’t wait for him to before she left the house.

Lulu glared after her as she left. It had enough heat behind it to set the door on fire.

I practically sagged into the couch now, like a puppet with cut strings. “sorry lulu, I promise that wasn’t personal. She would always mess my name up when we were getting to know eachother.”

Lulu’s answer was an undignified snort that reflected her very unimpressed emotions.

I didn’t know what else to say to that. I felt guilty to say I felt less drained with Emily not in my general vicinity. It was like someone plugged a leak in a dam and now I wasn’t in danger of being leaked dry of all energy. Enough so, that I could spark up some ire to send san’s way. “can’t you leave too?” Even when I was trying to sound cold my voice just came off as deadbeat tired.

“Don’t flatter yourself. I have business here, outside of hearing ya talk about ya ‘human mate’” he says ‘human mate’ like it was a word someone made up. It looked as if he struggled to keep a straight face saying it.

“what buisness?”

“not that its any of yours but I’m here to talk to Lulu.”

Who the hell did he think he was. I looked between the two of them skeptically but decided that ultimately that I wasn’t going to play this stupid game with him. I Gathered the sad remainder of energy to get myself up off of the couch. The only thing motivating me was a one getting under my own covers and preferably not getting up in the next twelve hours.

Before I left the room I gently squeezed Lulu’s arm and glared at sans, looking him dead in the eye. “Lulu, if he tries anything funny let me know, and I’ll turn him into bonemeal.” Even with me glaring at him, judging by his reaction my threat fell flat.

And if I didn’t go lie down soon then so would I.

Chapter Text

Hey guys, I know you guys are probably tired of me going on a hiatus but I need some time to sort some stuff out for this fic. I'm getting to the stage of things where if things aren't carefully planned it'll all fall apart. I might be gone for a month or so, but if I finish the chapter I've been working on I promise ill post it. I'm in a little bit of a writer's block and it really sucks. the only way I've gotten through them in the past has been fleshing out other chapters and revisiting this one. I'm really sorry for the inconvenience, I promise once I get through it the fic will return to its normal schedule. Hopefully with a few chapters planned out.

again I'm really sorry and ill be back soon.

Chapter Text

Lulu whirled around on me the moment may was out of the room. I opened my mouth to tell her to back up as she stormed up to me but she held up a paw in a universal gesture to shut up. I was about to twist that paw till she dropped it but then I followed her pointed gaze to where May disappeared around the corner and I thought better of it.

Last thing I needed was to push my luck further and have human authorities called to the house over a…disagreement.

Lulu’s ears twitched as she listened, she always had better hearing than me but even I could hear May practically jump into her bed.

I waited, when it didn’t look like she would be getting back up I was getting ready to start on my explanation. Only for her to shush me again and crane an ear more in her direction. More silence. Whenever I got ready to gather my words to say anything she cut me another look.

After what felt like an eternity She finally seemed content with whatever she heard because she turned her full attention on me again. Her black eyes gleaming with fury. “shes asleep.” she spat the words.

And like that she was closing the distance in a way that made me bristle for a fight. Lulu was even shaking with rage, her usually at ease features contorted into something savage.

“ what. The. fuck sans.” She hissed, as if the words burned on the way out.

“what?”

Her exasperation smothered the rage she felt in an unex
“what” she mocked, making an idiot expression while her paws flailed between us “Don’t act fucking stupid, Your magic was all over the room like a goddamn ass scented candle. I’m surprised your arm candy didn’t even notice it was so fucking bad.”

I sniffed the room. It couldn’t of been that bad, I took a whiff of myself too and couldn’t smell more than the cologne I use.

Lulu rubbed her temples while her ears twitched sporadically in irritation. “hell, the only reason I didn’t out you, was because your stupid girlfriend was sitting right next to us.”

“what ya want me to say? Thank you?”

“ how about an explanation, ass.”

“look I was getting to that.”m I leaned back on my heels and shoved my hands into my pockets “look it couldn’t be helped, she poked her nose into shit and there was a few misunderstandings-“

“Misunderstandings?!”

Her voice rose over the hushed whisper we were talking at and both of our heads snapped to mays bedroom. We were both silent for a breath, and then another but when she didn’t stir so we jumped right back into our conversation.

The human was probably dead asleep. Which would make sense since she looked dead on her feet.

“So a ‘misunderstanding’ meant that you felt comfortable enough to ATTACK her with magic? Aren’t you the one that’s supposed to keep us all in line? What so now you’re a hypocrite too?”

I leveled her with a steely look. “Ya done?” Lulu didn’t back down but she didn’t press it further.

she waited for my answer, for some kind on explanation. “First off, I summoned my magic but I didn’t actually use it on her. You know as well as I do that if I had she wouldn’t be walking around right now. Second, I had a good reason to act the way I did.”

Lulu crossed her arms as if to say ‘well out with it’. Her lips were pressed into tight line, and I could practically see her battle with her want to pull me into an encounter.

I scratched my skull, “ she’s not normal Lulu, there’s something up with her soul. Then she goes around spouting shit about my HP and it made me antsy.” I shrugged. “what was I supposed to do.” With the experiences we had underground with humans who had some twisted ass souls, this would be the only explanation I should have to give.

Only, Lulu didn’t react to this fact about may’s soul the way I thought she would. Where was the disgust, the fear? She didn’t even hint at even a tiny bit of surprise. If anything she was waiting for a better excuse. “And?” her voice was so casual we could’ve been talking about the weather. Hell, talking about the weather could’ve been hot gossip she looked so bored. “What if she noticed?”

“well gee, I dunno lulu maybe that slipped my mind because USUALLY if I use my magic on anyone they aren’t still around to TALK about what they did-or-didn’t notice“

If she had pushed me to use my magic that night she would’ve been disposed of and then I would’ve have thrown whatever evidence there was right into the void. My eye-lights went to the hallway again as and intrusive thought played out just how may would have looked as she tried to hold onto anything and everything just to not get sucked in.

it didn’t matter if the dead saw. I closed my sockets and tried to focus on the here and now. “PLUS She was drunk outta her gourd shed be lucky if she noticed her nose in front of her own face.”

“lower. Your .voice.” She emphasized each word, even lowering her own voice just to prove a point.

I huffed.” Sure whatever. You get the point she didn’t see nothin’”

“So what? that makes it perfectly fine for you to go around attacking drunk weird humans? Huh? When you just doled out punishment to a monster who tried to lay hands on a drunk weird human? The very same one might I add. Don’t you see how this could look bad?” Lulu paced as she whisper-screamed her rant at me. I slapped away an ear that brushed my chin as she paced back and forth.

“That’s not the fucking same.” I growled. “ She ain’t normal and I don’t fucking trust her”

She swiveled on her heel mid pace. “Well, no shit Sherlock. None us trusted any of the humans when we came up here but that doesn’t mean that we’ve been going around attacking every human that’s smiled too wide or gave us sour looks. So fucking deal with it like the rest of us.” Lulu stood on her toes and jabbed a fuzzy finger into my chest.

“Watch ya tone.”

“Or what? You’ll dust me? Fuck off red. We both know that another enemy isn’t what you need.” Her magic flared up again and I watched her while she decided whether or not she wanted to start an encounter with me.

My own magic rose to the occasion, it was practically instinctual. Fighting? I understood fighting. “if you aren’t my enemy then why are you up in arms over a human?”

“listen here. I said I called fucking DIBS that doesn’t mean for you to put your dusty grubby mitts on her. It means for you mind your business”

It wasn’t normal for Lulu to get so possessive over anyone, especially when they weren’t family. But here she was squaring up with me completely ready to throw down if the dangerous glint in her eye were anything to go by.

dawned on me then, and all the aggression left my bones in utter shock. “wait so you knew about her soul?” I asked stumbling back. “Are y’all…” I made a gesture with my hands that mimed putting two souls together not wanting to say the words.

Her fur tinted into a fluster and she frantically slapped at my hands to get me to stop making the gesture. “What the fuck red, no I haven’t seen her soul! She already has a mate I’m not about to fight with someone over.”

I ignored the fact that she was prepared to fight me over her just a moment ago “Then how the fuck-“

“It’s not my business to say and it’s not something you have to worry about.” She did her best to sound indifferent, but anyone could see just how flustered she really was. So much for a knock-out drag out brawl, all of the hot air was sucked out of the room the moment I thought that lulu was mated to this human.

I looked at her then, really looked at her. I did a passive check on her, all it said was “she thinks this is an overreaction” She was free from any kind of guilt or lie, she really believed it. Huh.

“So you’ll take responsibility for her? If she turns out to be up to something?”

She nodded once, short and sure. A single head bob and her eyes turned steely.

I grunted plopping back down into my seat. I donned an easy going demeanor now that that was settled. It took a moment but lulu eased up some herself. Even though anyone could easily see that she was still pissed.

She huffs, her arms are crossed but shes kneading the bridge of her snout in frustration. “You should apologize to her you know.”

“who?”

“my uncle Tobias,” she said sarcasm laid on thick. The hand that had been pinching the bridge of her snout flew up in annoyance. “who else. may, you dickhead.”

“Why should it matter if I apologize to her or not?.”

“It matters because I’m your friend and she’s mine.”

“seriously?” I deadpanned,

Lulu shrugged.

She was honestly serious. She did have a point though, its not like I just let anyone talk to me this way.

“I’ll think about it.”

“more like you can think about how it’ll feel to have my foot up your ass if you don’t.” She plops down on the seat next to me. She looked just as beat as I was.
An almost comfortable beat passed and for a moment I felt too comfortable to move.

“hey red?”

“yeah?”

“just so I don’t forget, If you lay your hands on may again just know we’re gunna wreck.”

I chucked “but what if she asks me to?”

“you know what? I’m gunna have to second what may said. Get out of my house not unless you wanna scour the rest of our floor for missed glass.”

I guffaw “Say less,”

Chapter Text

My bed. These sheets, and this blanket were my home now.

I pulled the blanket closer, and stared at the gauzy curtains that I really wished I had switched out for blackout ones. I just didn’t have the energy to do much else. I’ve slept for as long as humanly possible, now it wasn’t even an option but I still felt like I just got through running a marathon and decided to bench three hundred pounds for desert. As much as I didn’t want to think about it, the fact that this was affecting me so strongly was…worrisome. I shouldn’t be reacting this badly from something I felt second hand.

I buried my head into my pillow and shut my eyes. Was I getting worse? I clenched my fists in the blankets and hated how weak I felt. The pitiful amount of strength in my grip, the way my limbs felt heavy and stiff, and the way my head was swimming was too much.

Was I becoming more sensitive to the things around me? I shuddered, I imagined a hell where I could feel the residual emotions left over on a sidewalk just by walking over it, or walking Into a empty room and having an attack because two people argued there hours before.

I shook my head, no. It wouldn’t ever get that bad. What I could do, this thing…has been growing stronger with each passing year, but it was always gradual. It was never something that was this debilitating.

Its always direct ouch and being too close. It was just because I got too reckless. I fought to keep from remembering the sickening chill that ran through my hand when it made contact with scotts sink. I clenched my eyes and groaned.

I wish my blankets weren’t so hot, but they’d stay this stifling so long as I stayed in them, and right now leaving wasn’t an option. Not with everything being a possible trigger right now.

As if thinking those thoughts kinxed me, I could feel lulu’s worry where it pooled by my doorway but it never crossed the threshold of the room. Which, was a blessing. I don’t know what would happen if she got any closer right now. Later I should thank her for respecting my privacy even though the door was practically wide open, but I couldn’t scrounge up enough willpower to get up and close it.

Lulu didn’t say anything though, even if she did, I wouldn’t be able to offer any reassurances right now, not any convincing ones anyway. I didn’t even have confidence that my voice would come out right.

Her standing there felt like torture, there’s no way shed know that I knew she was there with my back to the door. She lingered there for a moment and her worry grew before walking away.

This continued for two days and I could feel her anxiety ramping up, luckily the weariness I felt was starting to fade, and with it took some of the pain. My migrane dulled just enough for me to fall asleep again and when I woke up, I felt like I could finally function. Sure, I felt like I just went out on a bender and had to nurse a hangover but it sure beat the alternative.

My unused muscles protested when I shuffed the blankets off and moved to sit up. Even though I moved slow it still took all the energy I had to just get out of bed. I so badly wanted to callapse back into my mattress but If I did, I didn’t know when the next time I’d want to try and get back out of it.

Focus on the important things. I patted my cheeks, attempting to bring back some semblance of energy. Not that it helped.

Focus.

Showering and eating. The basics. Yeah That sounded do-able. I pushed off and away from me, and swung my feet off the bed. I wasn’t even standing and I could feel the wave of vertigo headed my way. I huffed and gripped the edge of the bed as the world swayed around me while I sat perfectly still. I had been getting that feeling for the last three days and hopefully that would be the last time I felt it.

I stood, and when I was sure I wouldn’t fall face first I made my way to the kitchen. I grabbed a glass and filled it to the brim with tap water. It wasn’t even cold but I chugged down the glass. My throat felt like sandpaper and to actually drink something was heavenly. Once the glass was empty, my stomach cramped up.

I scrambled for the fridge, hoping for some sort of snack and noticed a covered bowl of soup and what looked like chicken and rice. The soup had a sticky note on it that read:

‘I read somewhere that soup makes humans feel better, I hope this helps’

Thank god for lulu. If not fo rhtis I probably woudven eaten shredded cheese straight out the bag or something.

I went for the soup first, not bothering to heat it up. While it tasted great, it felt off. My chewing slowed and My tongue poked at the chicken and rolled the rice around my mouth. The longer I tasted it the less appetizing it became.

It took me a moment to figure out just was wrong with it. I sat the soup down, and stared at its contents, it had been tainted with Lulu’s worry. The light broth felt as heavy in my stomach as eating an entire brisket to myself. I almost suddenly couldn’t handle the taste of it. It was as if I went and ate a jar of frosting that was made of salt instead of sugar.

I forced down a few spoonful’s before I had to call it quits and covered it back up before setting it back in the fridge. I looked down at the soup and couldn’t help but feel guilty. Lulu had went out of her way to make this for me, hopefully she wouldn’t feel offended that I didn’t finish it. Especially because I really did appreciate the thought but maybe I could finish it when I wasn’t feeling so sensitive. I spit the excess salt on my tongue in the sink and nearly gagged.

My stomach lurched and I beelined to the bathroom, the mix of morning breath and salt on my tongue was beginning to turn my already touchy stomach. I grabbed for my toothbrush , hastily scrubbing away the taste in my mouth. Having to rinse several times. I was out of breath, and for what? All I did was walk like ten feet and I was beat.

I looked up into the mirror I frowned at myself, my reflection making a frustrated face back. I still had the creases that my pillow left across my cheek and down the side of my neck. Coupled with the foam at the corner of my lips, my matted hair, and weary expression I looked like I needed a rabies shot. I rinsed out my mouth, and spat but it didn’t do much for my overall image. I didn’t look any less tired or haggard. I stared down my own reflection. I scowled at the sheen of oil on my face, and how dull my skin looked. Was this how people saw me? Is this what I usually look like? I touched the puffy bags beneath my eyes. I looked sick.

I pulled my hand away from my face. the disheveled me in the mirror nodded, Yeah a shower is definitely needed. three days of laying in bed was quickly catching up to me. The water couldn’t warm up fast enough so I braved it and just got in. The cold water hitting my ribs definitely wasn’t pleasant but it woke my up better than anything else had today. My focus finally had that added clarity that I really needed. I let the water run over my face and hair. I shivered as the water began to warm up. The fog that had settled itself over me had finally lifted just enough for me to be able to take care of myself. I just had to do them one at a time. I began finger combing my hair worked the worst of the tangles out with my fingers it wasn’t perfect but it helped get rid of the tension headache that I hadn’t realized I had been ignoring. I towel dried and grabbed a random comfortable outfit to put on.

I looked at my bed, and as much as I really wanted to crawl back into it I knew that it’d be good to do literally anything but that for a few hours. With nothing to do, and my phone still broken I slid the balcony door open and stepped out into the blazing summer sun. the heat was oppressive, summer was having its last hurrah and the cicadas made sure everyone and their brother knew it. But after being in my room for that long, the sun was welcome on my skin, and the cool breeze offered just enough of a break to keep from overheating.

The wind kicked up and it fanned the smell of the verdant canopy below. It smelled like the sun and the shelter of shade from a willow tree. I settled into my chair, and looked out to the forest below. It made me feel nostalgic, and a part of me wondered what the mountainside would look like when fall was in full swing. I closed my eyes.

I missed connecting with nature, I missed walking through the woods, and the sounds of gentle wildlife. I sighed Maybe I should invest in some hiking boots and look for a nice trail. I huffed, but not right now. I was getting too ahead of myself, all I did today was shower and that took almost everything I had.

I looked back down into the forest, and watched the mesmerizing way the wind swept the treetops into a calm dance. But it would be nice to just get away for a bit and not have to worry about another attack. If I were alone… maybe I wouldn’t have to have another one ever again.

Would I be able to handle complete solitude though? I thought about the nights where I come home to a dark empty house, or when Scott and I don’t talk for sometimes weeks at a time. My heart clenched, and I pulled my legs up into the chair to hug my knees. Even if Scott was around, what if he could still hurt me just like everyone else?

I rested my chin on my knees. I kept going back to how it felt, and how strongly and I couldn’t understand why I kept coming back to it. Usually I never lingered on my attacks. Why was I now? I didn’t even know if he was the one who caused it or if the second hand energy came directly from him but deep down I knew why I kept revisiting the whole thing. because there was something wrong. I let out a deep sigh. I’ll talk to him when I see him, but I wont think about this right now. I got up, looking over the tops of the tree line, maybe I could be productive without doing anything to physical. If I stayed busy I wouldn’t have time to sit around thinking about this.

I went back inside and closed the balcony door. What could I do? The house was clean, no doubt thanks to lulu, so cleaning wasn’t really an option. I glanced at the balcony door before going around opening the curtains and cracking the windows. Sure, the house was a little warmer but the stagnate air almost immediately dissipated. What else? I bounced on my heels. Lulu wont be back till late, maybe I could make her dinner. the more I thought about it the better the idea sounded, that was until I came to actually prepping everything that I realized the idea would still take some work, and I really didn’t want to look at food right now. I barely glanced through the fridge for some items, completely avoiding looking at the soup that will definitely eat at some point and grabbed what I needed. I nodded at the ingredients, this looked low maintenance enough.

I pulled out the crock pot and prepped everything to simmer until she got here. It was a simple summer vegetable soup. Hearty but not heavy. Hopefully she didn’t mind that it was so similar, but she always loved the vegetable stew I’ve made before so hopefully she wont mind.

With all the things I had the energy to do completed I plopped on the couch with the remote. By the time I got to the movie selections the stew was already kicking up some nice warm aromas. With no attention to spare on a new movie I browsed the classics, something I’ve seen before felt more like my speed, and I wouldn’t have to worry about my would-be distraction giving me nasty reminders of wht kind of talk ill have to have with scott at some point. My eyes drifted to my broken phone that still sat on the table.

I breathed in deep, hoping I could stifle the rising anxiety I felt. I tried to lean back into the couch but it didn’t make me feel any more comfortable. I tried a few positions, but I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t help but feel restless in the empty room, but it was only when I sat by the far edge of the couch by the balcony that I could fully relax. I felt some of the rising anxiety bleed out of me and felt a comforting sort of lull.

Weird. Whatever, I stretched and popped the recliner. I decided that I felt like watching Nausicaa, a movie I was obsessed with when I was a kid and quickly got lost in the visuals. I loved the way they drew the forest and how it overtook the land, and how Nausicaa didn’t care that the plants were poisonous it didn’t stop her from bringing some back to her hide away to try and cultivate some.

I got so wrapped up in the movie that I almost hadn’t heard the door open. the movie was just about wrapping up and so was the soup. She paused in the doorway when she saw me on the couch. I was seated on the far edge of it by the balcony door practically tucked in the corner.

“uh, how are you feeling?” her voice was quiet and she actively was trying to reign in her worry.

Yeah, she definitely didn’t know that I could feel her feelings from my doorway with how aggressively she was trying to mask it now.

“better,” I shrug “thanks for the food by the way,”

“no problem,” she set her purse on the table next to her keys and sighed. She stood there and looked at her keys like it just told her that she owed it fifty bucks.

“long day?”

“sort of, ” She rubbed the parts of her ears that connected to her head. It was something she did when she was particular stressed out. Which was rare for her.

“feel like talking about it?”

“I actually do, but I cant. Family drama.” She hesitated. There were a few emotions running rampant through her but they were too muddied to make out.

She came over and plopped down on the couch. “hey,”

“yeah?” I was concerned by the reluctance she felt and the silence that followed.

When she doesn’t speak I do. “no offense but this feels so awkward.”

“good so it wasn’t just me,” she slouched. “Im not used to tip toeing around you like this.”

“yeah, I can sorta tell.”

“that bad?”

“yeah, I could feel how worried you were from the living room.”

I could feel a pang of guilt from her. “oh,”

“its not your fault,”

It wasn’t her fault that she didn’t have a way of hiding those away from me.

She considered this. “well, all cards on the table. I am worried.”

I nodded, that made sense. “are you worried about me or about sans?” I thought about how he had wanted to talk to her, had he said something that had threatened her too?

“worried? Why should I be worried for HIM for?” her face scrunched up as if she ate a sour lemon.

“wait ‘for’ him?” now it was my turn to be confused. “I’m talking about him getting violent”

Lulu let out a laugh. “oh please! Him?” her worry lessened. “my family and his has had a mutual understanding for years. Plus as much of a hot head that idiot is he wouldn’t be so dumb to start a fight with me.”

I eyed her skeptically.

“what? You don’t believe that I have a can a whoop ass lying around somewhere?”

“lulu you’re like half his size and you’re just so…. Soft.” I gestured to her.

she rolled her eyes “I choose to take that as a compliment. Plus you’re one to talk short stack,”

I ignored the jab and continued. “ so if he wasn’t threatening you, what were you two talking about?”

“well you obviously.”

I waited for her to continue.

“He came to let me know what happened.”

“wait he told you?” my mouth went into a tense line. “what exactly did he say”

Lulu eyed me, the lighthearted glint in her eye completely gone, replaced with something cold and discerning. “Depends, tell me what happened that night first.”

I played with my fingers in my lap. I somehow felt like I was the one being interrogated. “um well, I didn’t lie about the drinking part. I really was sorta sloshed.” I felt my cheeks heat. I didn’t like being this scrutinized and admitting to lulu that I was once again drinking way more than was probably normal.

“thinking about this now, most of this was some kind of misunderstanding. I had texted sans because he was acting weird earlier and he told me he was feeling sick.”

“and I may have heard from a friend of mine that monsters only get sick if they’re dying or if they’re with child, and Emily has been talking about some ‘heavy’ stuff lately so I thought-“

“YOU THOUGHT SANS WAS PREGNATE?”

“wait! No! okay maybe alittle!”

her cold demeanor crumbled like a nature valley bar. She doubled over laughing. “may, hon, if he gets knocked up by ANYONE the world would end. Id die from the sheer shock of it.”

My face was hot. But I continued. “Anyways I was drunk and worried so I texted him. I asked him if we could talk and then he just appears out of nowhere.” My hands go up in exasperation “I didn’t hear the door open OR close or him walk in and I was sitting right in the hallway!”

“why were you sitting in the hallway?”

I continue like I didn’t even hear the question. “And anyways, he scared the hell out of me and I threw my wine bottle at him.”

“WAIT WHAT?” she sputtered.

“don’t laugh! You see a tall dark shadow in the corner of the room that wasn’t there before and lets see how you react!”

“im sorry, it really isn’t funny. But this whole time I thought he caused that, im just surprised and the image of his big ass dodging a wine bottle is….its something”

“I mean I sort of apologized when I realized it was him.” I froze, I hadn’t told her that he had came by at all before I left. “ wait you thought he caused the glass? Did you know he came by before today?”

“uh yeah monsters can sort of….tell when other monsters have been hanging around I guess? “ she almost seemed bashful about that tidbit of information “which isn’t important. The point is that’s it wasn’t normal for him to drop by, especially when Im not here.”

“oh,” the whole monster proximity thing was news to me. Ill store that tidbit of info with the other things school didn’t teach me.

“anyway so if that’s what happened to the bottle, what’s with your phone? Please don’t tell me that you actually tripped and dropped it.”

“oh.” I cringed at the prospect of making the conversation even heavier than it already was. “ yeah, about that. So I realized that it was sans, but then ….the face he was making was...”

I looked down at my intertwined fingers. “so anyway, I threw that at him too.” I shrugged.

“let me get this straight,” Lulu pinched the bridge of her snout.” you threw your only means of getting help?”

“I was drunk.” I defended.

“may please remind me to teach you how to defend yourself.”

She sighed. “ what happened then?”

“he uh,” lulu’s probing eyes only made the words harder to say. “slammed me up against the wall.”

“I think I misheard you.” Lulu was smiling serenely but if her outsides matched the turmoil inside right now she’d look hotter than if someone threw gasoline on fuko.

I had the brain not to repeat myself, and she must’ve seen my hesitance because she didn’t press any further.

“are you hurt?”

“no, I had a few bruises but I didn’t hit my head or anything.”

The heat of her anger turned ice cold at the word “bruises”, it was the type of brutal cold that felt like you’d burned yourself at first contact.

“how are you so calm about this?” Her poker face didn’t betray her feelings, but I still shivered at the absolute menace I felt from the loaded question.

“if I’m being honest, it’s because I feel like if I told you how I really felt about it you’d go fight him.” fight was an understatement but I didn’t want to give her any ideas.

“Maybe that’s what he needs.”

“I don’t want anyone getting beat up for me. I don’t need any more violence,” I tell her exasperatedly. “I moved here specifically to get away from that sort of stuff and…I just don’t want to get wrapped up in anything else.”

Lulu examined me again but doesn’t ask. I didn’t mention the sharp downswing of pity that I felt from her and neither did she. “No offense but ebbot wouldn’t be the place I’d have moved to for ‘peace’. “

She frowns and takes a settling breath.

“fine, no kicking tailbones.” But the words do nothing to subside the permafrost in her that still whipped into a furious flurry of anger.

Needless to say I wasn’t convinced. “or rattling ribcages?” I nudged her playfully.

“ew gross,” her nose scrunched up “I really don’t think that means what you think it means.” Even though lulu tried the corners of her mouth begrudgingly pulled up into a smile. Even if it was infinitesimal.

The cold edge of her feelings thawed just enough to let the worry seep back into them, revealing the warm streak that was so familiar to who she was.

It wasn’t a complete win, but it was something. I let a smile play at my own lips.

“thank you, don’t get me wrong though, I hopefully wont be seeing him all that often. Honestly im just pissed about the whole situation. He just barged in here and just started to accuse me of threatening HIM when he was the one who grabbed me!”

I huffed, “all I wanted to do was make sure he was okay. I figured oh he’s pretty cool we played some games together maybe I could check in on him like an idiot when I should have kept to myself.”

Lulu was silent. “you thought he was dying?”

“I heard that monsters could fall down, he was acting really weird… he, was petrified.”

“of what?”

“I don’t know, but he was…it was, it was a lot.” I almost told her that I felt like I was in danger, but honestly, I couldn’t tell if those were his feelings or mine.

“That’s…not like him.” There was an emotion I couldn’t quite place. Like worry but not quite. “What made you think he was falling down?”

“I cant feel anything from him. just flickers when whatever hes feeling is pretty strong, and even then its pretty hard..”

Lulu considers this. “like your mate.”

I flinched away from the mention of Scott, and I wish lulu hadn’t noticed but she did, one of her ears twitched at the sudden movement and I could feel the March of ants over my arms when lulu’s curiosity was left unchecked.
She didn’t ask and I didn’t offer anything on the matter, that was a topic that I wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. “No, not like him.”

“then what do you mean.”

“its hard to describe. Sans is like a hole where emotions go and die. He clears out a room of the emotions around him, like they get sucked in and its so strong that reading him is impossible. Except for that day in the store and I felt it. It was the strongest thing.” I shuddered. “I know about how monsters fall down, so I thought maybe that fear was from him…realizing that it was that? I don’t know.”

Lulu props herself up on her arms, leaning back. “im telling you now, as fucked up as sans is, he’s doing alright.” She shrugged “well, as alright as sans could be anyway.”

She tilts her head so Its resting on her own shoulder, her ears drooping. “he used to be worse off. Used to actually look…unwell to put it lightly. He’s just having trouble adjusting. That does NOT make up for the fact that he laid hands on you though.” Her eyes cut to me again as cold as ice and I close mine so I don’t make the mistake of looking directly into them.

She sighs. “im sorry, I’ll try to stay calm.”

“you don’t have to apologize,” I repeat.

“still gunna though.” She offers a halfhearted smile. “but overall…are you alright?”

I wasnt. “yeah, im okay.” I shrug, I even made the effort to offer up an exhausted reassuring smile.

Her mouth quirked and she looked me over but didn’t offer any objections if she didn’t believe me.

“if you say so,” she scratched at one of her ears, it flops down over the shoulder she isn’t resting her cheek against and it comes down to her navel. “I didn’t know how to bring this up but but I just wanted to give you a heads up on where I’m going to be so you don’t have to be home alone as much.”

“you really don’t have to, its not like I feel unsafe.” It was a lie, but I should be fine so long as I double check the locks, plus it wasn’t like hes out to get me or anything. the image of his stupid smug face at the park sent a wave of rage through me. He’d leave me alone if I leave him alone.

“honestly, I was thinking I’d come home more often to check on you.” I could feel her worry mounting again.

“lulu I know you’re trying really hard for me, but please take a breath. Im fine.”

The thin set line of her mouth told me that she didn’t believe that.

“lulu, really its okay. A few hours alone wont kill me.” I realized those were the wrong choice of words the moment hey came out of my mouth. The rage Lulu was putting off was anything but diluted. I scooted away from the heat that she didn’t know she was putting off.

“I’ll probably need some time to be… away from a lot of energy.”

I could feel the guilt swirl around her, it violently extinguished the rage she felt and smothered everything else she felt.

“just for now” I hurry to console her. “its not something you could help even if you wanted to.” I sighed. “I uh, I haven’t told you how bad it gets sometimes… If I come across stuff that’s too intense or if I don’t focus enough on protecting myself, “ I scowled. “ I just shut down. Usually it gets pretty painful, I just came out of one a day ago and I still feel…off.”

I could feel just how off by the discordant way emotions were being taken in. like a untuned instrument.

“so don’t come to check on you?” she asked hesitantly, parsing out the words.

“you can, but just…don’t force yourself to, to know? I’ll be fine. This is my normal, even if it sucks.”

“if you say so,”

“But hey may?”

“Yeah”

“Do me a favor?”

“Sure,”

“For us monsters, for how we’ve lived. We… don’t know how to take kindness. We don’t know what to do with it…I’m not supposed to tell you all the nitty gritty details but, we’re used to having to look after ourselves.”

I didn’t know what she was trying to get at. She looks me over and sighs, no doubt seeing my confusion. “ I know this is an odd thing to ask, but try not to get too involved into the problems monsters have,”

She might as well have echoed the exact words that sans told me. I needed to stop interjecting myself into monsters lives.

“ Nono wait, don’t make that face.before you get all sad on me let me clarify that I don’t mean that you should stop talking to monsters or anything I just mean like, with sans for example. He’s probably a prime example really. “

Lulu fidgets with the bottoms of her ears. She doesn’t look at me, and I can feel the shame rolling off of her. “offers of kindness or help are usually hidden forms of threats where we’re from. It was so rare to get genuine help from anyone…. At least not for something in return. If you don’t know the monster really well, just… be careful please.”

Lulu looks at me then, and I have to look away. And I could almost immediately feel the hurt. I almost turned and looked at her to console her but I just closed my eyes.
“lulu I don’t know hat kind of life monsters lead before they emerged, but know im never going to judge you okay? You don’t have to feel ashamed around me.” I leaned into the couch and leaned my head back into the cushions. “but…I’ll be careful”

I could feel the apologetic relief flood through her. It felt like a cool wading pool. Gentle, and soothing. Even if it was alittle chilly.

“but uh, I forgot to ask, are you okay?” she asked, changing the subject.

“sort of? Not really?” I sighed. “Im sorry for worrying you. This, this happens sometimes.”

“what happened? “

“a lot, honestly im just overwhelmed.” My face got hot, I really hate explaining this it makes me feel like a nutcase to talk about ‘energies’ and ‘vibes’ in a serious way. It was so much easier to do when I was too drunk to think about how embarrassed I was.

I mulled over the best way to say it, and how much I should even say to begin with. “I had an attack, a few days ago. It wasn’t as bad as usual, but the circumstances for having it weren’t…normal for me. And uh, it left me drained afterwards.”

Lulu pulled her legs up onto the couch. “can I ask you a question?”

“sure shoot”

“do you think a doctor could help you with this?”

I shook my head, “they haven’t been able to before. They just try to prescribe me medications that won’t work.”

“can you…can you die from this? Do you think this will hurt you down the line?”

I leaned on the armrest of the couch. It wasn’t like I hadn’t considered it before. I wasn’t so sure if it would kill me, apparently what killed people like me wasn’t the attacks or the burnouts it was what they did to themselves.

I shook my head. “I hope not.”

The silence was pregnant with words that weren’t said and concerns that were never voiced.

Just then the crockpot chimed.

“oh…were you making something?” I felt the gentle feeling of guilt begin to tug at her. She must’ve already ate with her family. Which made sense since I have been out of commission for the last few days.

“yeah, some more soup. I’m not all that hungry right now though.” I got up to go turn off the pot and begin pouring it into another container. Lulu follows me around the corner.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know you were going to make something,” she smiles apologetically, “it smells great though.”

“its alright, it was a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing,” I couldn’t know what stuff she dealt with when she went over to her family’s house, but I don’t doubt that trying to make sure everyone was doing okay must be taxing.

I saw her eyeing the crockpot and her nose was working but while I could feel her interest, she looked at tired as she felt. “ it’ll be in the fridge if you change your mind.”

She nods and gives me a small thankful smile before heading off to her room.

After I was done putting everything away, I wasn’t too far behind. I crawled back into bed and tried my best attempt at sleep, but after laying in bed for almost three days sleep was the last thing my body wanted to do. Sleep came to me in bits and pieces and left me restless the entire night. It was only when morning came that I felt like I could fully sleep.

Chapter Text

I creaked open the door to my room, I didn’t know what time it was but it felt early. The sun hadn’t quite risen enough past the mountain yet to cast more than a hazy blue light on everything. Even the sun felt drowsy this morning.
I made my way the rest of the way out of my room and down the hallway. Maybe I could whip up breakfast. When I rounded the corner though, I was surprised to see lulu standing there in the kitchen cupping a steaming mug of what smelled like coffee.

Usually she got up closer to noon. I snuck a peek at the kitchen clock, nope it was definitely early. about eight am. From the looks of it, lulu was just as surprised to see me up and about.

“good morning,”

I didn’t need to be able to feel her emotions to know she was confused. “morning, “ I did my best to give her a reassuring smile. “headed to work?”

“yeah, its been a while. I know im trying to look after my sister but if she thinks that we’ll go out of business she’ll come back to work. pregnant or not and run the store herself.”

I nodded, her sister definitely had that sort of vibe to her. “Alright, let me just grab my purse and shoes and I can come with you.”

The moment I turned to grab it I felt my stomach drop out from underneath me in an uncomfortable sense of weightlessness. I steadied my footing and tried not to make it obvious that my feet felt anything but grounded.

“may its fine, you don’t have to come if you don’t feel well.” She didn’t hide her frown, and her ear twithed. She reached up to pull it down running her fingers through its fur until it stopped. I knew she was doing her best to mask her worry, but I still had to discretely lean against the wall of the hallway when the sensation of bungee jumping didn’t fade.

“wouldn’t it be better to rest alittle longer?”

Lulu grimaced when I smiled at her. “Lulu I promise I’m not going to die just because I sat behind a register.” But would kill me is if lulu didn’t stop worrying so much.

I sighed “I don’t feel like it will make much difference either way, but I want to help out. Plus I haven’t been out of the house since I left to go see…Scott.” I huffed, hating how stilted his name came out. “It’d be nice to get out and do something that kept me preoccupied.”

She examined my face, making doubly sure that I wouldn’t collapse on her or something. I put on my best smile to let her know I was fine, and honestly, I was. I would just drink down two or more like three cups of coffee and keep things moving.

Lulu looked at me skeptically but nodded. It looked like she has a similar plan in mind because she was already pouring the remainder of her mug into an extra-large thermos of coffee that was waiting for her on the counter.

“If you say so, just… Please tell me if you need help.”

Her seesawing uncertainty made it very apparent that she wouldn’t know how to help even if I did. I shrugged, “I’ll be okay. “ she was starting to give me a look that said ‘really?’ in the most sarcastic way possible. Her nose twitching. A part of me wondered if her sister shared the same trait when she was irritated.

I booped her twitching nose.

She covered her scrunched up nose and gave me a mock glare.

“I promise I’ll tell you if I need help.”

She rolled her eyes and smiled back “you better, short stack.” she teased, taking a swig of her coffee as she headed for the door.

I followed and grabbed my purse, slipping on a pair of strappy sandals before heading out.

I was about to head to my car when lulu waved me over to hers. “we haven’t gone into work In a while. We might as well carpool.”

I shrugged. I was still feeling lethargic but it was rare for the opportunity to be productive and lazy at the same time to present itself. Do nothing and get to work? A fair compromise.

I climbed into her car and lulu’s radio began blasting some boyband at an ungodly volume. She kept a cool demeanor while she inwardly spiraled. Trying her best to not look like she was frantically trying to turn it off. I didn’t miss the way her cheeks tinted infinitesimally either.

“sorry about that.” She cleared her throat. She nonchalantly starts her car refusing to look at me.

I couldn’t help but let a smile play out on my lips in the silent car. “hmm.”

“don’t.”

“so…”

“shutup.”

She pulls out of the driveway and makes her way down the road and there’s this long stretch of silence.

She catches my eye and my mischievous grin and her embarrassment deepens.

“boybands huh?”

She lets out a frustrated groan. “OH MY STARS.” She yells exasperatedly her entire face flustered. Both ears come down to obscure a good amount of her face but it doesn’t hide her chagrined blush.

I let out the laugh I had been holding in.

looks at me and after a moment of stewing in her own embarrassment joins in. I didn’t even know why I was laughing, it didn’t make any sense but our own laughter egged each other on until we were out of breath.

When the laughter settled down, I realized that this had been the first good laugh I had in a while. The mood here was light, so light I could barely feel it at all. It felt like a much-needed reprieve from all of the things ive been trying to work through.

I leaned back into my seat and sipped my coffee. Sputtering when another round of giggles hit me.

“Oh come on!”

“sorry! I just remembered your face,” I patted my chest trying not to choke and not at all feeling sorry. “now we’re even for you calling me short stack this morning!”

“I mean, youre really gunna punish me for the truth?”

I rolled my eyes. “you do realize there’s nothing wrong with listening to boybands right?”

Lulu pulls into the parking lot of her store and puts it in park. She doesn’t speak but her embarrassment spoke volumes. She offered a small shrug as we hopped out of the car.

I decided to stop teasing her about it, even if I could feel the tiny kernel of lighthearted amusement mixed in. I couldn’t help but smile on my way in.

Lulu fled to the back almost immediately upon entering the store. She was just far enough away where feeling her chagrin was almost unnoticeable. Almost.

I glanced around, there were some crates that weren’t fully unpacked. Mostly of fruits and vegetables I didn’t recognize. There must have been another shipment that came by while I was away. Lulu must have been here to oversee the new stuff coming in.

I didn’t know how to feel about that. Sure I was Lulu’s friend and all but I didn’t want her to think that I wasn’t reliable here in the store.

I bit my lip and rounded the corner to my counter and couldn’t help but feel that it seemed taller than the last time that I saw it. I really needed to come to work more often. Maybe I should offer to open up shop on my own for her that way it could be open more. It would give me a reason to be out of the house and stay busy plus it would support lulu and her store. Two birds with one stone. Or was it three? I shrugged to myself and put on my apron, feeling very much alittle crazy for having this silent conversation with myself.

I didn’t have much time to think about that though, because not even a step up into my chair we had a customer, their entrance announced by the electronic door chime. It was a sound I didn’t know I had missed. I climbed the rest of the way up into my chair and hurriedly set up the register.

I glanced over to see just who entered. Only I had meant to glance, but really My eyes couldn’t leave the lumbering grey mass of fur and silver scars. Muscle rippled beneath the fur as they moved and it only took an instant but his eyes met mine. It was brief and even though I had my guard up, I tensed waiting for whatever they were feeling to be the only thing I felt.

But, it wasn’t what I was expecting. All I felt was contentedness. Simple and pure. Like untouched snow. I had to remember to allow myself to relax my posture, I was caught so off guard I didn’t know what to do with myself. I fidgeted with my fingers and my eyes kept flitting to the monster who knew such calm.

It was such a rare thing to feel that I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of life they lead. I couldn’t see much of them, not with them walking towards the back. Every now and then I would see the top of his head, or more accurately a pointed ear. I couldn’t see much of the other one. It didn’t take long for them to make their way around the store and then to the front. I was able to et a better look at them then.

They looked like a wolf monster. Except they walked on two legs, and wore a pair of slate grey pants. they had a scar that rand from their neck to their ear. The reason why I hadn’t seen their other ear had been because the tip of it was missing. The eye that the scar ran across was white, while the good one was an ice blue. It was only a few shades darker than their grey fur.

It was one of the few times where I could look and really appreciate the look of someone else’s eyes. Even though I kep my guard up a part of me knew that I didn’t need to.

A content smile slide across my lips. “hello,” I almost didn’t recognize my own voice, it was as if I had just came back from a day spa and was told I’d be the one paid for my visit. I felt heat rise to my face.

The wolf monster didn’t say anything and instead they stared back, with a basketful of groceries.

They sat it down and their nose twitched. I felt a twinge of confusion beginning to fog over their contentedness, but it didn’t change the overall feeling, just added to it. It was as if they were pondering something more than actually feeling confused.

They didn’t let go of their basket and their eyes didn’t leave my face.

“you…are…not..afraid.”

I blinked. His voice was more of a rumble than anything else and it took a moment to realize that they didn’t just growl at me.

“should I be?”

Yes, they might look intimidating, but with what I could feel from him, he felt about as threatening as a teddy bear with an eyepatch. I could tell that he wasn’t violent in nature, that his default was mild mannered, the same way emily’s was…enthusiastic.

He continued to stare as if he didn’t know what else to say. Was he used to people running and screaming? His stare was steady and unwavering, I waited for him to say something….or do something but he was just frozen there. I felt heat rise to my face from the very…focused attention.

I looked away, feeling awkward at best, deciding that the hem of my apron pocket was very interesting and that I should focus on working the sewn line with my fingers rather than look back up at them.

“I mean you seem nice enough,” I tried to be nonchalant and gave a not too convincing shrug that didn’t feel anything but stiff. The monster didn’t move from his spot, or speak. So after a timid moment I tried to sneak another glance. Not that I could really sneak one because he was still looking down at me.

I was working up the courage to say something else, something that wouldn’t make me sound like a total weirdo when I there was a sudden heavy ‘thwump’ ‘thwump’ ‘thwump’ that broke my train of thought and the filmsy change in subject I was trying to come up with.

My eyes trailed down the towering monsters chest until they caught the movement of a bushy grey tail that was most definitely wagging. His emotions didn’t take long to catch up, and it was almost too much. Whatever fog had settled over him, dissipated and in its place was immediate warmth. As if I found a snowy peak on a mountain in the middle of summer, and got to take a bath in the sun’s rays.
I had to blink a few times and look away. Yeah, that was enough risky behavior. Sure he felt nice, but it wasn’t safe to keep doing things like that. I mentally scolded myself, running through the consequences of what seeking out good emotions would do.

But even though I was working to block myself off I could still hear the very persistent ‘twump’ thwump’ thwump’ of their tail. I smiled, but didn’t dare look back up into their eyes. Partially because I was embarrassed, and partially because even without this ability the amount I had been staring was definitely rude.

They let go of their iron grip on the basket, even taking a step away from the counter. With how tall he was a single step away was the difference between standing a comfortable distance away or standing directly over me. Even with his …calming presence I could still appreciate the gesture. I glanced up at his hunched form. I wonder if he hunches over on purpose to seem smaller, he definitely looked taller when he was standing over me, but then again maybe that was a trick of the eye. I reached in to take a few items out and started scanning.

It would be better to keep him from waiting any longer, no doubt other customers would be coming in soon.

“your…name”

I glanced up at him, but I kept my hands busy. I gently placed his ‘steak?’ I think this is supposed to be steak in a bag without looking. I didn’t know where to rest my eyes, I had my share of seratonin for the day, and I’m convinced any more and I’ll spontaneously combust. his snout would be a good enough place as any to set my eyes on as any, I guess.

“oh, it’s May. Sorry I forgot my name tag.” It probably was still sitting in the bucket where I left it the last time I was here.

I rang up a few more items and the sound of the scanner was the only sound in the store, well that and whatever Lulu was doing. Which sounded alot like rustling packaging. It would’ve been awkward only, it wasn’t. This felt like I was relaxing with a friend in the same room instead of an acquaintance on a store.

I finished up and before I had time to tell him the total he was pulling out the gold.

“thank you for shopping with us,” I tell him and hand him his bags.

He takes them with his massive, clawed hands. Even though they were gigantic he takes them gingerly, his fingers barely so much as brushes me.

“thank… you…may.”

He begins to turn around and I almost felt sad that such a kind spirited monster was leaving so soon.

“Oh!...um” I scattered for a thought. I hated feeling like this, it’s probably not normal to feel sad that a stranger was walking away. “Uh, I forgot to ask your name,”

It was true, I hadn’t asked, but then again wasn’t this what lulu meant by not minding my own business? But there shouldn’t be any harm in asking for someone’s name right? When they turned any worries, I had melted away.

“……..Tim.”

And just like that they left the store, their tail wagging.

I stared after them for a while, already missing the calm I felt. I missed that feeling even more when other monsters started strolling in. It was just a trickle of activity here and there but not long after the entire store was filled.

No doubt people were finding out it was open after its long spell of being closed and everyone were hurrying to get their groceries for the week before lulu decided not to open up for God knows how long. Even the store hours have long since been taken down.

I squinted at the posters and labels boasting sales prices that cut almost half the prices. Yeah, that was a contributing factor too. I held on to that tiny piece of serenity from this morning, but it was quickly slipping away amid the hustle and bustle of urgent shoppers. It was starting to feel overwhelming; my head was swarming with the thrumming hum of bees. The relentless pulsing of it was beginning to work its rhythm into an almighty migraine. The only mercy was that the ‘bees” weren’t in the mood to sting.

I clenched my jaw and kept my eyes on the food, ‘snow snap peas’ , “veggitoid vegemite”, “snowdin snoot chow”, “mettaton’s nightly box serum”…. I couldn’t focus on the names of the items anymore, they’re were all starting to not make sense and the added headache wasn’t helping. I glanced at the at the line from the corner of my eye and felt any sort of hope I had that this would end soon drop to the floor and shatter into a million pieces. Even with me going as fast as I could, the line was still growing.

Actually that’s an understatement, growing implies that I could still see the end of the line.

To my dismay I return my yes to my work and I did my best to not look up at the monsters for the remainder of my shift even as their agitation grew. I shifted in my seat and a cold sweat broke out on the back of my neck when I felt too stiff to actually move. I was rooted to the spot with my legs wrapped in hot chains. I worked faster. Spurred on by the mild pain. The faster I got them through the line the faster the pain would stop.

Lulu was heading toward the front of the store, I only knew this by the growing sense of weightless falling that abruptly grew worse. I clenched the counter for balance and risked a glance up in her direction. She was had her head popped around the end cap of an aisle where the line had snaked around and led down that very aisle.

she gave me a thumbs up accompanied by a questioning look.

‘are you good?’ ‘Need help?’

I shook my head. And smiled my best convincing smile and gave her my most energetic thumbs up. Which felt feeble at best, lulu lingered for a moment longer.

I didn’t want her to start running the store alone if she ended up too concerned. I could do this.

Lulu gave me a nod, and was shortly whisked away by a customer to help them find an item.

With her gone my sole focus became the till, the scanner and the groceries being laid out. Even with the sizable cart loads people were bring to the counter I was making good progress, and with it the store began to calm down. The uncomfortable sensations even leaving along with them, unfortunately though throbbing or not, the headache was here to stay.

This was manageable. Id make it through this shift. Maybe I was just worrying too much about things getting worse. I was bouncing back from the ‘attack’ like I usually would. I’m not getting more sensitive, if today was anything to go by.

Now that I think about it a part of me was expecting a lot worse . Sure today was pretty chaotic but so far there hadn’t been any complaints about lulu’s store not being open consistently. Had this been any other place I’ve worked I would have received an earful by now about how much of an inconvenience it was that we didn’t have any postings for when the shop would be open.

Not that I was complaining, the less irate customers the better. Honestly, my only goal for the day was to focus on my work and not look anyone in the face. Not that goals were made for completely following through on, I habitually kept cheking the status of the line and I was relieved to see it going down. I really started to speed up when I knew there were only five more people in line. Even more so when the rest of the discomfort I felt melted away.

I was so lost in thought while I was scanning that I didn’t notice in time to see a blur of teal blue move for me or when it yanked me up from where I sat.

I yelped, my heart jumping up into my throat. The bag of chisps I had went flying along with my scan gun when I was hoisted off the ground by my pits and my feet dangled far too far off the ground. My eyes swiveled trying to make sense of the situation.

I was being held up by two scaly muscular arms crisscrossed with pale blue scars. I followed them until I was met with large pointed teeth and immediately looked away from Undyne’s face. This time it wasn’t just because of the repercussions if I accidentally caught her eye, a part of it was because of the deeply unnerving glare she was giving me. Her expression was horrifying, for the glimpse I got of her face it was enough to know that she was upset. No, actually more like enraged.

Her emotions flared and boiled like flames that caught ahold of an oil drum. Before I had a chance to really wonder what got her so angry, she starts to shake me so hard that my teeth started to rattle.

“YO NERD WHERE YA BEEN!”

She stops shaking me and I feel like my brain had been scrambled. “h-huh?”

“You missed out on our marathon!” she sets me on my feet, and by set me on my feet I mean she unceremoniously dropped me square on my behind.

I’m realizing now that her earlier rage was just blanketed over something else that it pressed down. Hurt, disappointment.

Had she really been that excited for me to come over? She seemed like the type to be quick to grow on someone once she decided to. I felt a small pang of guilt, she was definitely the caring type. She did check in on me to make sure I was alright after that party.

“Hey im sorry, some stuff happened and I don’t have a phone right now so I didn’t know how else to contact you.” It was a lie, I had completely forgot about the meet up after I got home.

I got up and dusted off the seat of my pants and glanced worriedly to where the monster I had been trying to ring up had stood before undyne ambushed me. The quiet floating fish head monster was no where to be found, her cloth shopping bag abandoned on the ground. I frowned to myself, undyne hadn’t just scared me with her abrupt greeting it looks like.

Undyne huffed and ran her long sharp nails through her flaming red hair which was gathered into a ponytail and threw it over her shoulder like it personally pissed her off. I eyed her pajamas, I really couldn’t help it. It was in such odds with her very intense personality. She was wearing pastel yellow pajama pants, an oversized tee that has a cartoon shark on the front, and slides with no socks exposing her painted toes.

Lulu popped her head around the corner, no doubt hearing the commotion that undyne made. Honestly, I wouldn’t doubt if the whole block heard.

“undyne? What are you doing here? I haven’t seen you around in months.”

“me? What about you? Youre the one who’s been MIA for the last few months.” Undyne guffaws

“ I usually don’t come out to buy junk but alphy wanted some snacks for the premier of some new releases.”

Lulu looked down at me where my butt was still planted on the ground. She came over and propped me up. “I’m pretty sure you two are already acquainted, but just as a formality may, this is undyne, and undyne this is may.”

There’s a brief look that passes between them with meaning that I don’t understand but It looked like undyne understands just fine because she nods and grins, a toothy smile that makes me shiver. She guffaws again and throws an arm around lulu’s neck in a good-natured sort of half hug.

I shot lulu a look of confusion, but she doesn’t explain just shrugs.

Undyne gestures to me with her thumb, “ I forgot that the human worked here, she was supposed to meet up with us for some shows.”

“oh? I didn’t know you guys were that close,” she looks over undyne questioningly. “were you guys going to meet up today?”

undyne shrugs” if that’s cool with you then that’s the plan”

“If it’s cool with you,” lulu levels me with a look, it’s laden with questions. But really what she’s asking was if I could handle being around undyne right now., “if you wanna take the day off,”

I could feel lulu’s scrutiny, I had refused her help earlier and I could tell it hadn’t made her feel more relieved it just exacerbated the issue some but right now she seemed to feel…hopeful? Maybe she was hoping I was feeling better.

If I went with undyne she might think that I was back to ‘normal’. Or as normal as that could be.

I glanced at undyne, and her toothy glower. I could feel her impatience growing or was it excitement. I glanced back at Lulu who was waiting for me to answer.

“but it’s busy here and you’re alone.”

She rolled her eyes, “May before you got here I worked the store alone for months. I’ll be fine, go have fun.”

I guess that was about as much confirmation that I needed, it would definitely make her feel better if I acted like I showed her that I was fine.

I smiled at her, “alright then ill head out, if it gets busy here call….” I was about to call ‘me’ but I suddenly remembered that my phone was broken. “uh, I guess Undyne?” I looked at her questioningly.

She guffaws and all but shoves lulu away to replace her arm over my shoulder instead. her very heavy muscular arm. it was a ridiculous gesture that she had to paratactically crouch to achieve. “don’t worry I got you covered nerd! Lulu has my number.”

I huffed, struggling to stand under the weight of her arm. I gave a pleading look to Lulu while Undyne laughed and hitched my under her arm like a football. I didn’t get any help from her though, instead she starts laughing and gives me a shit eating grin that said ‘payback’ better than any words could have.

With a final wave from Lulu Undyne took off with me out of the store, forgetting her supposed snack run. The world stop spinning the moment my but hit the seat of her motorcycle. I wasn’t an expert on the different models out there but even I had to stop and admire the sleek gleaming yellow paint it had. That was, until she slapped a helmet on me backwards and everything went black.

I hurried to right the gigantic thing while she got situated behind me. A glance in the side mirrors told me that I looked like a bobble head.

“alright listen up. Lean when I lean and hold on tight.”

“huh?”

My only answer was a grin as her motorcycle revved and she kicked off. The whole way to wherever her house was, was a blur. It was a world filled with bleeding colors and sharp turns. I would have probably screamed, but the unadulterated joy coming out her every pore, scale? Made me giggle uncontrollably.

It was terrifying.

We come to an abrupt tire screeching halt. Im still frozen to the seat gripping on to the inner part of the handle bars for dear life when she gets off.

“that was a nice drive wasn’t it?”

I wearily look over at undyne who has her hair all messed up. The wind had whipped it into a fiery mess but also had blown it back away from her face. It managed to look like a wild and beautiful mess.

She doesn’t mind my silence as she casually picks me up off her bike and tucks me under her arm much like she had done to alphys at the mall. I don’t know how Alphys handled feeling this small all the time. It was mortifying, and I’m taller than alphys but my feet still dangled off the ground.

It took no time at all for her to whisk me into the house. I flinched when she all but kicks down her own door and drops me on my feet as if I were a cat by her doorway and barrels in.

“Alphy I’m home!”

“o-oh welcome back! you want me to rewind it?”

I could hear the muffled interaction from inside. It was too dark to see inside, they had their lights off. I stood awkwardly by the door, not knowing if I could just walk in. I haven’t been over to anyone’s house besides emily’s and… well scotts. She left the door open, does that mean its okay to just follow her in or should I wait for an invitation? I wanted to ask but thy were talking and I couldn’t get over this indecision I felt.

“nah! It just makes creates more mystery this way, also! We have a guest.” Theres silence for a moment “ May what are you doing? come in.”

“I uh, should I take off my shoes or should I-“

Undyne wastes no time in striding back over, I see the jarring image of her face appeared from the dark in all its toothy glory before lifting me up and striding over to the oversized couch and throwing me onto it.

I really am just ragdoll-sized to her aren’t I? Thank goodness their proportions were so different from mine otherwise this couch and my ribs would have met a lot of hard corners.

It took a moment for my eyes to adjust and in the darkness on the “L” part of the couch was alphys.

“hey may,” she waves half-heartedly.

“hey alphys” I wave back not being able to help how sheepish I felt all of a sudden. A feeling of my own making. Not that it wasn’t justified, It didn’t feel like she was all that happy to see me. Maybe she was angry that I had missed the first premier with them? But it wasn’t anger so much as it was…apprehension? But why?

Alphys turned around to face the back of the couch using her clawed hands to help prop herself up to better see undyne “did you get the snacks?” she asked, her tail swishing.

“oh!....” her face beams into an enthusiastic smile only to immediately crestfallen into an embarrassed one. “NOPE!”

“its okay!” Alphys waved her hands in the air to catch Undyne’s attention when she sees her about to swivel on her heels to go straight back out the door, no daub to go get the snacks she forgot.

I squirmed in my seat knowing I was more than part of the reason why she forgot them.

Undyne looked down apologetically with her one good eye, “ are you sure?”

Alphys nods emphatically. “I-Im sure. “ She pats the seat next to her and Undyne’s face splits back into her ecstatic grin.

She doesn’t spare a second and all but dives into her seat and picks Alphys up to sit her on her lap. She even manages to do it in one quick but exceedingly gentle movement.

we all settled in to watch the show. Or they did anyway, I couldn’t grasp what was going on. Not until we started a new episode. I quickly got sucked into show after show, time flew in this dark room and the couch only got more comfortable the longer I stayed. I wish could have more moments like this.

When the next episode ended undyne yells to her smart device to turn the lights on. I flinched at the sudden brightness, and rubbed my eyes until they adjusted. With the lights on, I could get a look at the living room. It was a mix between a hot mess and cozy. There were a ridiculous amount of blankets on the couch, but made sense for how cushioned it felt. There was anime memorabilia on the walls, ranging from wall scrolls to artists renderings.

I found myself smiling just looking at it.

“okay. Its getting too quiet in here.” Undyne announced while the sad anime outro played out. She had both of our attention. “So why don’t we make it more interesting?”

Alphys turn to look at undyne “w-what do you mean?”

“I mean a rematch!“ she grinned

I had a feeling I knew what she was talking about, and my face heated up.

“im not so sure im up to drinking today,”

“yeah, I don’t think that’s the best idea undyne.”

“you cant win twice! That was just some beginners luck!”

Theres a pounding at the door, all our eyes swivel over to whoever is trying to break down the door. I could even feel the vibrations of it through the couch.
Undyne groans, and gets the door. She doesn’t even bother to check who it is before unlocking it violently swinging the it open. Even in her very unintimidating pajamas there was still an air of joyful menace on her face that had me feel pity for whoever was on the other side of the door if they were here uninvited.
I caught a glimpse of the person standing on the other side. They stood taller than undyne, something I didn’t know was possible.

On instinct I flinch back when I see their face. It was skeletal the sockets empty except for two red pin pricks. I realize too late that who I’m looking at isn’t Sans. I look away, embarrassed by my own initial fear and to my mortification Alphys caught my reaction. She’s watching me now expectantly as if she expects me to bolt for the back door.

“YOURE LATE!”

“we’ve been over this! Every other Thursday and Friday are anime days.” Undyne rolls her eyes and slams the door using only the flick of her fingertips.

The skeleton monster catches the door before it could close right on his face. “I ALREADY LIVE WITH A LAZY ASS COUCH POTATO OF A MONSTER DON’T SUCCUMB TO THESE CARTOONS TOO!” he spits the word ‘cartoons’ like someone just fed him dirt.

The tall slender skeleton monster storms in while undyne seems indifferent. She lets him by without any resistance. he’s carrying a duffle bag and wearing athletic clothes with brands that looked expensive but they weren’t ones that I recognized.

Alphys swivels her reptilian face turning a deeper shade “they aren’t cartoons!”

I nodded and quietly agreed “they aren’t” I was surprised that anyone heard me but the tall skeleton monster swiveled on me almost immediately.

“IS THE REAL REASON YOU WONT TRAIN WITH ME IS BECAUSE YOURE ENTERTAINING SOME HUMAN?” His sockets narrow and he points an accusing finger at me.

“Train?” I ask nervously glancing over to undyne, hoping to redirect the intense attention of this skeleton back to undyne “For what?”

Undyne glares at the skeleton “PAPYRUS! MAYBE IF YOU STUCK TO THE SCHEDULE THEN MAYBE WE WOULD EXCERSISE MORE OFTEN.” Undyne over-pronouncing the word ‘exercise’ like she was correcting someone’s grammar.

When she does his eyes dart back to me abruptly. He glares down at me in a way that makes me want to shrink into the couch. He returns his glare to undyne and when he does the scathing look doesn’t soften.

He sneers as much as his angular skeletal features allow. “SO ARE YOU COMING TO ‘EXCERSISE’ OR NOT.” He said the word like it was the most ridiculous word he’s ever heard.

He didn’t wait for an answer because It really isn’t a question it was a declaration. a declaration that was punctuated by him storming right back out the door leaving it wide open behind him.

Undyne lets out a groan of utter irritation. “FINE! Alphy, I’m sorry but I’ll be back in an hour or so I’m going to BEAT EDGE’S BONEY ASS!” she yells loud enough for edge to hear. A bit of ways away I could hear him yell something back that sounded like ‘ID LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY’ and something about ‘salty ass fish’

Undyne rushes over to kiss Alphys on the forehead before swiftly running out the door after him, not bothering to change into workout clothes or into sneakers. Something about the image of undyne beating up someone in her pajamas didn’t seem as funny as I thought it would be.

The room holds an air of awkwardness between me and alphy’s. It isn’t surprise that she doesn’t like me. I feel like even without my extra sense of things I wasn’t so oblivious that was unable notice her outright disdain for me. It bordered on hostile, as if she were waiting for me to attack her.

I didn’t want to come off as even more rude and take my leave now when I had only been here for an hour or two. Especially because I hadn’t made it to the last meet up so, I made It a mission to dutifully stare at the anime that was playing. I had missed most of the episode with all of the commotion and no one had bothered to pause it. So, I was utterly lost while I tried to figure out what was going on.

When I glance over at her she’s looking at me funny and I bristle against her surge of hostility.

“May?”

“uh yeah?”

Alphys shifts in her seat to face me better and in the face of how intense she felt I did my best to indirectly look at her.

“listen, I’m going to cut to the chase. I can see that you’re uncomfortable around us monsters. I’m trying to give y-you the benefit of the doubt for undyne but-“

I make sure to not look her in the eye as she talks but I’m careful not to look away either. I don’t want her to think that I was looking away because she wasn’t human, or something as superficial as heer having scales instead of skin. Sure, she was intimidating sometimes but that couldn’t be helped. I could feel how sincere and passionate she is about everything and the lack of any real malice is what has kept me so at ease so far, but her apprehension was bordering on disgust, and anxiety. The complicated pungent mix quickly turning my stomach.

“I don’t l-like the idea of a human forcing themselves to stick ar-round us. Especially when I cant figure out their motives for doing it.”

“im not forcing myself to do anything,” it comes out too defensive though and the reply sounded weak even to me.

“you d-definitely look like you’re happy to be here.” Her expression didn’t look anything less than doubtful. I internally cursed the queasiness, trying to keep a comfortable expression which by alphy’s continuously souring mood was only making things worse.

“Undyne is sweeter than most people give credit for. She’s strong sure, but she’s been overly trusting since she’s come to the surface. But I’m not her, I cant afford to trust anyone and everyone up here,” She looks me in the eye cynically. “That being said if or when you hurt her just know I’ll be there.” She was still calm, but her tail swished, the light glinting off of the spikes that studded its tip in a unspoken threat.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone…I just wanted to hangout.” I thought maybe being sociable would help get my mind off things but was I just forcing a friendship on them that they didn’t want?

‘ don’t get too involved’ that’s what lulu said.

Was I doing too much? Was I too involved? I looked at alphys, really looked at her.she was bristling, as if she was waiting for an outburst or an objection. I felt like I just ran through a long streth of briar bushes and all I wanted to was get out of them.

It didn’t matter if I was too involved or not, she was telling me that she didn’t want me here. Did undyne feel the same way? Even though she invited me, maybe she was having her second thoughts. My heart dropped, she definitely wasted no time in leaving at the first chance she got.

“I’m sorry, I’ll leave you guys alone.”

I could feel her guilt pool from her and begin to suck me in, no doubt from watching my reaction. It only made me want to leave faster. I wasn’t trying to make her feel bad about anything, and the longer I stayed the worse it got.

“I uh, didn’t mean to intrude. I’ll excuse myself out” I hurried to the door, me being here was just making things worse.

She stands too “h-hey wait I-“

I get within reaching distance when the door burst open nearly side swiping my face. It slammed into the wall and I staggered back unintentionally bringing myself closer to alphy’s who’s guilt was starting to become stifling. I regained my bearings and looked up to see that the door was still in fact there and not obliterated.

There, In the doorway stood a model-esq robot sporting two sets of arms and hair too perfect to be real.

“ALPHY DEAR I NEED A TUNE UP MY HIPS DON’T-“ he regards the both of us standing awkwardly In the middle of the room. he grins, his four eyes squinting into mischievous crescents.

“oh? Am Interrupting something? a Social experiment perhaps?” the question is dripping with insinuations that I normally would’ve felt flustered about.

This was the robot that I’ve met indirectly through posters and scandalous magazine covers. I blinked, once not knowing how to react or what to say. It was just a lot all at once.

“whats with the long face darling? Don’t you know how to say hello?” Mettaton took my hand and shook it. “no doubt you know who I am, but for formalities sake I’m Mettaton.” He let go of my hand to put his hands on his hips. “and who might you be?”

“This is may, and we’re trying to have a conversation.”

“well, may it’s a pleasure for you to meet me, but I will leave you to your very ‘interesting’ conversation with alphys.”

He turns to her. “alphys, im going to head over to the repair station. Lately I haven’t been able to ‘perform’ the way im used to.” He demonstrated the ‘issue’ by rolling his hips in a ridiculously salacious display. He didn’t seem like he had many issues moving, but the gesture definitely suggested more than just preforming on stage.
I was left speechless, my mouth gaping like a fish as I tried and failed to find words. What was worse, I didn’t even know where to look so I just averted my eyes entirely.

“m-mettaton shut up.” It looked like the gesture didn’t just fluster me.

He flippantly closed the door behind him. and by ‘closed the door’ I mean he barely gave it enough force for it to sluggishly swing closed. “hmm, I didn’t say anything wrong did I?” and like that he strolled out of the room and down a hallway. “ take your time with your ‘conversation’ “ his voice coo’ed from within the house.

I was breathing heavy, by the time the door creaked shut and it took a moment for me to calm down from the sheer amount of blindsides I’ve been met with in the last few hours. “HOW DOES YOUR DOOR EVEN STAY ON ITS HINGES?” I yell exasperatedly, gesturing to the very precarious door that nearly took my nose. I was angry and frustrated and exhausted. I knew how absurd what I said was but honestly I didn’t care. Everything felt absurd lately.

With that outburst out of my system and Mettaton’s laughter chiming from some where within the house I was finally able to breathe. I patted down the worst of my frizz on my hair and soothed imaginary wrinkles on my clothes.

I could feel the anticipation from behind me it was closely coupled with her rising sense of worry or was that stomach dropping feeling regret. My head spun trying to point out each sensation. Or was I really just feeling sick? Regardless I took a deep breath and turned around, facing the very clearly regretful reptile. She was working the hem of her t-shirt, it was a gesture I could relate to. I breathed out, and waited for her to find the words she was looking for.

She didn’t look at me, she stayed very focused on playing with the hem, and she began to calm down, allowing me a moment of peace from the sensory overload she unknowingly was putting me through.

“L-listen I don’t mean to come off harsh….or w-well no I did. I meant what I said but what I was trying to get across wasn’t that I want to run you off.” Her cold demeanor wasn’t as certain now and she was having a lot of conflicting feelings, which showed. her thoughts practically played out on her face.

“s-she’s my mate I just want her to be happy. I know you’re human and your word isn’t a bond like some monsters, but it would mean a lot if you told me that you weren’t trying to hurt her.” She looked up at me. I could feel her eyes on my face trying to making eye contact, and the only thing I felt from her then was hope, and worry. I took a rattling breath and gathered whatever resolve I could before I looked back up at her, meeting her eyes. when I did, I felt some relief flood though her.

I looked at her tiredly, “I promise I’m not. Undyne has always been warm and welcoming to me since I’ve met her, and I wanted to repay the favor.”

I looked away from her she was starting to feel empathetic, it a soothing type of warmth that you could only get from a hot cup of tea on a cold winter day threatened to make me more careless about keeping my walls up. I couldn’t afford to be reckless right now and have another attack.

“Ive been told that I can be a bit much, I’m not all that great at interacting with people so if its easier for you guys I can leave you alone.”
I sucked at these sorts of things, even with feeling everything, I could barely figure out other people’s intentions. I thought back to the look that was exchanged between lulu and undyne. Maybe undyne only invited me out as a favor to lulu. I had been in my room for days and this was an attempt to make sure someone was around to babysit me. my throat felt tight, and I was starting to feel boxed in. I turned to leave.

“w-wait.” Alphas hurries to stop me, and even reaches out to grab my arm. I flinch at the sudden contact and stop in my tracks. She immediately takes her hand off my arm, and I could feel just how panicked she really is. ” n-no please don’t feel that way. Undyne would actually be pretty down if you just abruptly stopped talking to her.” The undiluted panic from her almost staggered me with how intense the whiplash felt.

“she would?” I doubted that.

“y-yeah, she’s always going on about how much fun she had with you and what things you’d be into if we ever had the chance to h-hang out.” Alphys began to fiddle with her fingers and the panic waned into a quiet remorse. “ if you don’t have any bad intentions then…. I will just need to learn to adjust, i-if you decide to stick around.”

I gave it a moment of careful consideration, she seemed genuine. She waited for my answer and when it didn’t feel like this was completely offered out of guilt I nodded. “alright,”

“really?”

I nodded.

“uh okay…hey im sorry about um.. earlier.”

I shrugged, “ I guess im getting used to all these threats lately.” There was a tiny note of spiraling embarrassment at that, her tail swished behind her as she nodded, but her eyes focused on her toes as she played with her fingers. All these threats must be the norm for them.

“The thing is though, if im being really honest, I barely know you. Or undyne. You barely know me.”

Alphy’s nodded.

“and that’s okay, instead of making you feel like I’m shoehorning myself into being a friend, how about I’m just some human that hangs out sometimes and watches anime? And we can all get to know each other organically?”

“yeah, yeah definitely.” Alphys relaxed at that.

I nod.

“thank you, for understanding, I-I-um sorry for being,- “ she seemed flustered.

“alphyyyyyy~” mettaton’s voice trilled from the bowels of the house.

“I-I’m Gunna go help mettaton. Undyne won’t be back for a few hours so we might have to reschedule the anime… viewing. “ she looks over to the tv, that was playing yet another episode. It continued on, long forgotten.

Mettaton begins humming an obnoxious tune I couldn’t place but very clearly announced that he was becoming bored and impatient.

“I’d better get going before he gets rowdy.” She gives me an apologetic smile.

And like that she was off.

I was able to make it to the door albeit very cautiously before I heard the tittering becoming loud enough for me to hear.

“So are you going to tell me about that curious little human or do I have to tell undyne how you two were in the house all alone looking rather guilty?” His voice was electronic and suggestive I could practically hear his eyebrows waggling.

“Y-you do that and I’ll take out your equilibrium sensor and laugh when you fall on your face.”

“Yes ma’am~”

I left before I mettaton said more things that I didn’t need to hear. I closed the door behind me, just to realize that I didn’t know where I was. Or where home was. I wasn’t about to go back inside. A deep sigh left me, and I started to walk down the neighborhood sidewalk, accepting my losses.

Chapter Text

The bell above the door of the electronic repair store jingles as I make my exit. It had been a few days without a functioning phone and honestly life without It was starting to become a living hell. I hadn’t realized just how much I used it for simple day-to-day things. Things that someone might typically would have as an entirely separate device.

With my phone gone it left a hole in the things I needed to be productive, like if I needed to use an Alarm clock? Well too bad because that’s Gone. Need to tell time? Nope. How about GPS? Completely out of luck.

I walked over to my car, still kicking myself for having to wander all the way back home yesterday. Luckily I was still in a predominantly monster populated area; and to the few monsters that had pointed me in the right direction, I hadn’t been an unfamiliar face. thankfully I was able to get enough help to make it home in one piece, albeit drained and ready to take a shower.

I get into the disgustingly hot car and made a gamble to see if I could get any cool air out of my AC. I couldn’t even say I felt surprised that all it blew out was even hotter, muggier, air. I groaned and turned it off. I squinted and snatched my glasses off my face to wipe away the fog from the lenses.
It looked like it was going to be one of those days, huh car? The days where my car wanted to bless me with air that didn’t feel like it just came straight out of hade’s butthole, were becoming too few and far between.

Repairs for it weren’t even an option, the only way to get rid of the problem at this point would be to either replace enough parts to practically build a new engine or just buy a newer, less problematic car. I scowled and rolled down the windows. It didn’t make much difference though.

I sighed and tried to get my mind off the heat. I raked my hair back behind my ear with my fingers, regretting not putting it up into a bun when I got ready this morning.

The sun was overly oppressive today, with no clouds in the sky to dull some of its rays. There weren’t many places I could go to escape the heat. The beach was over two hours away and I didn’t feel like getting chlorine in my hair if I went to the pool. Home was an option, but I needed to be somewhere other than my bedroom or the living room otherwise id go crazy.

Honestly I was just in need of some new scenery. Somewhere new and not blazing hot. I nodded making a mental checklist. I drove aimlessly, but stayed alert so I could confidently say I knew the way back. Unit didn’t take long for something to catch my eye. It was a building that I had seen before. I assesed the protruding building in my rearview.Huh, I guess this would do.

I made a U-turn on the fairly empty street and pulled into the parking lot. I’ve never been to a library that didn’t have air-conditioning at least. the idea of sitting down with a good book and forgetting my problems did sound appealing.

By the time I pulled into a parking space that was luckily right in the front I was practically giddy. It had been years sense I’ve read a book and allowed myself to feel my own emotions. The heart wrenching tragedies of a cheesy romance or the suspense and suspicion of a mystery novel where you didn’t know who you could trust. It was something I used to do all the time to ground myself, I couldn’t remember why I stopped.

My steps grew more and more enthusiastic as I climbed the tall stairs and could finally see the door. That eagerness almost doubled by the fact that there were only a handful of cars in the parking lot. I could just tuck myself away in some secluded nook and read without having to feel anyone else’s emotions.

I had to fight the smile that was beginning to play at my lips. No one walked into a library grinning like a maniac, and I was very close to doing just that.

I stood in front of its doors looking up at the building. The library was large, but not monster-building large. It looked old enough to have been here before monsters even emerged, which was apparent by the size of the double doors. They were small, only maybe a foot or two taller than me. Most monsters trying to enter that weren’t either a froggit or whimsun would have to duck to get in.
I pushed open the heavy wood door, and squinted as my eyes adjusted to the new lighting. Compared to the blinding light outside it seemed dim in here. I blinked a few times to see that it was in fact well lit, the rim of the two story library’s ceiling was lined with skylights. It wasn’t noon yet, but when the sun was directly overhead no doubt it would banish any lingering shadows.

I walked across the red carpeted floors that while clean, were no longer plush. They were worn thin with from years of people walking across it. I was greeted by the smell of aged books and paper that somehow smelled nostalgic.

If a smell could be cozy, then this would be it.

A sense of awe overcame me, and for once I could fully sink into the feeling because it was my own. Rows of books stood lined up like dominos behind a steward’s desk. A librarian sat there, he was a very tall, and slender middle aged man wearing glasses and a long ponytail that was so blonde it was almost silver.

When he notices me he looks up with a smile. “Hello, can I help you find anything?”

“not at the moment, I might just browse” I was about to walk away, but in the face of the daunting amount of books I hesitated. I took a self conscious glance back at the librarian who was waiting expectantly behind their desk.

“Could I point you in the direction of a genre?” he asked noticing that I had not one clue where to start.

“yes please.”

“Fiction is on that side of the library,” he points to his left, “and nonfiction like research, archives, cookbooks, self-help books, you name it is on this side.” He points to his right. “Upstairs follows the same organizational system but that’s the absolute-silence area for people who are trying to study or just want no interruptions. but on the first floor feel free to talk so long as the volume is kept courteous.”

While they remained professional and readily helpful, he was ecstatic. Maybe it was rare for him to get new people here. Whatever the reason, it was infectious and I didn’t want to stick around him for too long or I’d start to follow him around until it went away. I smiled back at him and nodded.

“Thank you, that’s good to know.” I would definitely be using the silent sections. As soon as I grabbed something from the shelf I would be ‘booking’ it upstairs.

“Anytime! If you need a library card come find me and I’ll get things squared away for you. “

“will do, “ yeah, they definitely are excited about seeing a new face.

And like that I was off in search of my first book.

I squatted by a book shelf cursing how small humans built….well everything. I glared down at the cookbooks, having to all but sit to be eyelevel with their titles to be able to read them. My spine was creaking in protest and my patience was wearing thin. It didn’t help that I could feel the eyes of the occasional passing human as they watched with fear or morbid curiosity.

I miss when I was able to get amusement from deliberately scaring them away, but even that was becoming dull. I was beginning to tire of being a spectacle.

Not caring what I grabbed I snatched nearly a dozen from the shelf, they made a satisfying clatter of thick hearty ‘thwump’s as they added themselves to my armful of books. Ten were the maximum that anyone could check out at once, but I planned on sitting down and looking through them anyway, so I didn’t wind up taking home another cookbook meant for children.

I left the aisle and stepped out into the walkway. The pile of books I carried rocked as I came into contact with something. I steadied the pile and cursed, closing my eyes as if it would keep me from seeing that I had knocked over another standee of books or something that humans insisted on putting in inconvenient places.

If it hadn’t been for the surprised yelp that followed by the sound of books pelting the floor, I wouldn’t have even noticed that a human had run into me. They fell right on their ass with their own stack of books scattered around them.

I was prepared for the human to scream and crawl away, or stare, I was waiting for it even. Their eyes held a weird unfocused gaze, as if they were looking past me into the distance. when their expression didn’t change, I blinked. I only realized when they began to pitifully start patting the ground along the scattered books that she couldn’t see. The human barely even looked in my direction as she searched all while she continued to spout off apologies I didn’t bother to listen to.

When her rooting around became too sad to watch, even for me; I squatted down and snatched the glasses up off the ground and shoved them into her palm. She froze and put them on, blinking her eyes into focus.

When she realized that the person, she had bumped into was in fact a skeleton monster, she still didn’t give me the reaction I had been counting on. She looked at me and got flustered. The embarrassment evident on her face.

I blinked, this was a first, for one I didn’t have a response for this sort of reaction.

She was embarrassed. Good. she should be embarrassed. I huffed. “Apology accepted.” A human apology didn’t mean much but I guess it was still an apology. Plus that pathetic display would be punishment enough.
I gave an inconspicuous glance down at the littered books and picked them up. a few of the titles were a little odd. I glimpsed one that hinted at how to socialize with others. I added her handful of books to my stack and waited for her to get up. She didn’t look phased with me picking them up. I watched her face for revulsion. Usually, a human’s nose would scrunch up or their lip would curl.

The only expression she was making was an awkward smile, timid maybe. Which only got worse when I beat her to the last book before she could pick it up. I continued to watch her expression from my peripheral and was perplexed when flustered was the only expression she seemed to make.

Ah, I get it. She feels guilty. As you should if you bumped into a stranger and then let them carry your things. I didn’t know I could get a reaction like this out of a human or at the very least to this extent. I watched as their emotions played out on their face. ‘should I tell him that I could carry them?’ ‘But I don’t want to offend them by refusing their help’. I watched as her hands hovered awkwardly not knowing what to say. I smirked; this was better than scaring them by far.

“what’s your name.” I rose from my squat to stand, I held the top of the pile with my free hand to steady the stack while the human looked on. I pretended like I didn’t see the awe on her face. This was the look that I was supposed to deserve from all humans.

“may,” she offers as she dusts herself off and smooths her long skirt. She looks up, and her eyes widen. I frowned. Was she beginning to feel afraid? I was about to feel disappointed that I had needlessly gotten my hopes up but then she spoke. “wow you’re really tall.”

“More accurately, you’re just pitifully short.” I scoffed. “Where are you headed.”

“I’m not sure, I don’t really know where the sitting areas are yet.”

So, she’s new here. That-taller-than-average-human would be excited to hear that there’s a possible new member here. Not that it really mattered if he would be happy or not. I looked down at her again and sighed. Hopefully it wouldn’t get back to him that I quote-unquote terrorized another person from the library. I thought about the amount of chiding Aiden would give me, and frowned. It wasn’t my fault that some dumbass decides to came over, invade my personal space and pisses me off when all I was doing was minding own damn business.

But a new face in the library really would put Aiden in a good mood. He might even let me get first pick on the new books coming in this month. That’s assuming she kept coming back to the library.

I guess I could repay her the favor of giving me some entertainment and show her to a seat. That way if this ever got back to him I’d be a threatening but ‘helpful’ skeleton. I turned on my heels and gave her a pointed look, not giving her any more indication to follow me than a nod of my head in the direction of a seating area, leaving her where she stood.

After a hesitant moment I could hear her follow. I was almost impressed by her bravado, but then I remembered that I still held her books hostage.

Babysit the small human and get fresh books barely touched by unpackaged air. I was almost happy that I hadn’t just left her there on the floor not when she was going to help me unknowingly get stuff out of this whole situation. That and the fact that she didn’t have that gleam in her eye like I was something of an oddity, was refreshing enough that I was willing to at the very least show her around.

She broke the silence first.

“excuse me?” she asked, she was a lot farther behind than I thought she was. Oh right, short legs.

I could hear her still following, but I didn’t stop. No doubt she was going to complain about the brisk pace, which wasn’t fast for me, but my strides were three times her’s. I slowed my pace some anticipating the request.

“Um, I wasn’t sure before but you’re undyne’s friend, right?”

That question came out of the blue. I halted in my tracks and side eyed her. Even though she wasn’t afraid she never exactly made eye contact. Which only made the question even more concerning.

“In simple terms.”

Not many humans knew of her by name and when they did it was usually accompanied with bad intentions.

“ I sort of informally met you yesterday at her house.”

I looked down at her fully now, leaning down so I was eye level with her and squinted. While I would say that I was pretty good with faces and reading them, distinguishing humans would always be a challenge for me. Their features were all too similar. They all had the same number of eyes, and their nose and mouths were always in the same place. The only difference being that they came in different colors of some form of earth tones and pinks.

This human had unkempt hair that irked every nerve in me. I had to keep from staring at it too long so I wouldn’t have the urge to sit and detangle the mess myself. As for her features she sported narrow tired eyes and full lips that were pursed in a worried line.

Looking at her fully I could see the resemblance to the girl from yesterday. There had been a human with the same black hair and a similar build.

I snapped back to my straight upright posture and gave her a nod “then this calls for a proper introduction, human.”

She jumped at my sudden movement. I froze watching her reaction. It looked like she had the habit of making her lips thin out into a tight line when she was embarrassed. Weird. She looks away and begins awkwardly scratching at her arm.

So, she wasn’t bothered by monsters but didn’t like sudden movements. Noted. I straightened out the rest of the way and rested my hand on my hip and puffed out my chest, still cradling the books in one arm. “My name is papyrus, it’s your pleasure to meet me!”

With that I turned on my heel and moved at a more leisurely pace to the tables, which meant it was still jogging speed for the human since she had a shorter gait. I looked back at her and couldn’t help the little smile that formed pressing against my cheekbones. She was short even by comparison of other humans so maybe she was used to a joke or two being thrown her way.

When we reached the tables that predominately sat empty, she was out of breath, but I’ll give it to her, she kept pace with me the whole way. which was saying something because the library was large and somewhat mazelike in certain areas.

I set the books down and the human climbed into the taller seat to sit at the table, even going so far as to lay her head down on it as she regained her breath.

I think I read somewhere that if a human showed you their back, then they subconsciously trusted you. Or was that about cats? It didn’t matter anyway. when it didn’t look like she would be lifting her head off the table anytime soon, I decided that I’d take a seat too.

The chairs and tables were tall enough to let me sit comfortably without having my knees hit the bottom of it. It was the only section of the library where this was the case. The first day I came here it these chairs hadn’t been here, but a week later this section was furnished with taller seating, something I was deeply grateful for.

“you’re out of shape, maybe you should’ve come exercising with us yesterday.” I tell her.

She peeks up from the cage that were her arms to give me a look that said, ‘exercise was evil’. it was the same look I would get from sans when I used to try to get him to exercise.

“Exercise and I don’t agree”

“All the more reason to”

May propped her face up on her folded arms. “maybe one day then.” She conceded, even though we both knew it was to stop the talk of possible exercise.

I huffed disapprovingly. How exactly had this human gotten on friendly terms with undyne if she didn’t have a love of exercise?

“so how long have you been a friend of the devil woman?”

“who?”

“undyne.”

“ohh, not for very long. It hasn’t been more than a month maybe. “

Not long was right. Undyne was no fool, she had a discerning eye when it came to personalities. Either she took this human under her wing to keep an eye on her or she was deemed too weak to be able to protect herself.

Judging by her tiny frame and lack of any claws or muscle it was probably the latter.

“it’s good to meet a friend of a friend,”

“I believe you humans call that ‘a mutual’.” I made finger quotes around the word.

The human huffed a laugh through her nose and smiled. “ I guess you’re right.”

I scrutinized her expression again and when I was certain that she was being genuine I leaned back. I cracked open one of my books, having exhausting all of my topics for small talk.

The human must have followed suit because I heard shuffling from the pile of books that were laid in the center of the table. There was a comfortable silence as we both fell into our books. Or it would’ve been if I could’ve actually focused on it. It didn’t make sense for a human to hang out with undyne.

Even for undyne to strong arm some human into hanging out, having a human casually coming over to undyne’s house was…uncommon. Especially if she hasn’t known her long.

Hell, even sans was bringing over a human. Did this mean that I was the last one to invite a human over? Did that make me old fashioned? I glanced up down at her from over the top of my book. She was reading, but she looked like she couldn’t get comfortable, she kept scratching her arms. Maybe that’s a nervous tick of hers? Or a sort of habitual fidget?

“Hey human, How did you and undyne meet?”

“Oh, we met at a party fuko threw.” She outright looks away when she says that, pretending that there was something very interesting about the empty shelf that her eyes were trained on.

“You know fuko too?”

Her attention returns to me she even leans forward a bit, it looks like this was a topic she didn’t mind talking about. “yeah she’s really cool, she comes and visits me where I work sometimes.” Theres a soft happy look on her face that doesn’t even mask the affection she has for her. I frowned. There was a part of me that reflexively cringed when I saw people get to close emotionally, it was a part of me that I aggressively stamped out before I could start to worry. Fuko would be okay, monsters don’t do that anymore.

The human answered the question I hadn’t even had the chance to ask. “I work with lulu at her store.”

I leaned back in my seat baffled. “so, you’re THAT” there had been a rumor going around that a human had started working at lulu’s but…

The tiny human sat sheepishly bringing the book closer as If she could hide behind the overly dramatic cover of the novel.

She wasn’t what I had imagined the human to be like. Maybe one with some more back bone. Then again, she sat with me unphased and had apparently cozied up to the strongest monsters in the area in a short amount of time. I leaned forward to rest my hand on my chin, and also to get a better look at her. Was there something here that I was missing?

She seemed completely unaware of herself or the possible danger she could be in or even a danger she could pose with the right motives. which only made me more curious.

“what have you heard?” she asks the question like it drained the life out of her.

I had to refocus on the conversation to realize that she wasn’t asking me what information I had on possible covert human activity. “I don’t know shit. I just heard a human worked with lulu.” I said waving dismissively with my other hand.

The human looks up then wide eyed, and a little amused. The fuck was she looking like that all of a sudden.

I sat upright and looked over my shoulder. When there was nothing there besides books I turned back to her. only now a smile was playing at her lips.

“WHAT?”

“sorry,” She put her palms out in a light hearted surrender. “for some reason I didn’t expect to hear you curse.”

Oh, that was all? I eyed her over, it didn’t look like she was mocking me and she seemed sincere enough. I huffed. “and why not?”

“it was just the vibe I got from you, like cursing wouldn’t be your thing.”

I considered this, sure when I was younger, I believed that cursing was vulgar but as I got older, I gained a certain appreciation for them and the impact they had. “Words are meant to be used when the mood strikes. If the mood calls for it I will say shit, damn, fuck or whatever word I need to.”

I crossed my arms indignantly expecting an argument, but the human holds her straight face for only a moment before it cracks into a series of giggles.

“WHAT?”

“What.” I repeated lowing my volume. I really didn’t need Aiden coming over telling me I was being too loud. Again.

“its just, I’m sorry there’s just something about cursing so loudly in a library that’s funny to me”

I rolled my eyes, “you act like you’ve never cursed.”

Her features were still dripping with mirth and maybe even a little bit of pride. “I haven’t.”

“HOW HAVE YOU NEVER CURSED?” I had to consciously close my jaw, forcibly recomposing myself and leaning in I lowered my voice. “how have you never cursed??” I repeated at a much more acceptable volume. “How do you even express your stronger emotions?”

“I don’t know, I’ve been doing just fine so far though.” She shrugged.

I squinted at her. She was almost too proud of this tiny little fact. Like not cursing was some sort of achievement. “That settles it, I will hear you curse.”

“if you say so.”

Her response only made me more stubborn.

“Human, I’ve only known you for about five minutes but I am already infuriated my your presence.”

The rest of the stay at the library became progressively louder until Aiden finally made his appearance, he didn’t even say anything at first, he just popped his head around a shelf. I spotted him before may di and my jaw snapped shut. May followed my line of sight and turned in her seat to see what had broken up our battle of attrition.

Aidens long hair had fallen out of his ponytail and swept over his shoulder, and his eyes were locked on undyne’s human who sat there looking damn near ashamed. “Sorry, I got a little excited.”

Aiden came the rest of the way into the seating area, he didn’t look irritated at all. If anything once that he saw that we were both sitting and laughing together instead of the usual….me laughing while they fled he was practically giddy.

I sneered at the syrupy happiness that practically oozed from his every pore. If he was gunna be happy about a human willingly sitting and talking with me, couldn’t he at least go make that face somewhere else?

“dear, I promise your volume was just fine.” He throws a mock-scolding look in my direction though before returning his gaze to her. “now this guy here, he’s a repeat offender. Most of the people who come by are used to it. that is, if he wasn’t yelling expletives clear across the building.” His voice was soft and the cadence that he spoke in was almost melodic. I scowled and crossed my arms.

He was really playing it up today in front of the new ‘member’.

“well, it’s time for me to go. Once this human comes around, we can expect them to keep coming around to interrupt our conversation.” And my train of thought.

May tried to hide the look of smug knowing but she sucked ass at it so all it served to do was send a fresh wave of heat to my face. I scooped the books of the table and sped off to check out my books. Aiden was the only one who worked here so I just rang them up myself. He hated when I did that, but he wasn’t here to stop me from walking right past his little swinging door and behind his counter.

No sooner that I finished scanning my pile of a ridiculous number of books, The small human emerged from the aisles.

She had a beaming grin on her face now. I almost asked. Almost, before deciding that I didn’t actually care.

Why should I care about what Aiden said to this human. I huffed.

I watched uneasily as she made her way to me as I headed for the door.

I halted when I realized that I had just checked out her books too in my flustered state. I was carrying self-help books. I internally cringed. I didn’t need sans seeing these and thinking they were mine. I didn’t need help. I could hear his mocking voice now.

“oh so ya order me around, but then ya go listen ta some book to tell ya what ta do,”.

I internally cringed. I was perfect the way I was Dammit.

The small human didn’t have a library card yet and I didn’t want to turn back into the library to return the books. No doubt Aiden would comment on the number I had, or how I had went about taking them. I groaned and tuned on my heel.

“HUMAN. It seems I have made a…. clerical error.” Yes, a clerical error;because I didn’t make mistakes. I wanted this to happen. This was definitely planned. I jostled the pile of books not knowing which where her or mine and not daring to set them on the floor to sift them from each other.

“I seems I have checked out your books, and as of now you do not have the means to check out your own.”

“um, that’s okay I can just sign up-“

“no, the process takes weeks! You will have to wait for it in the mail and it’s a whole thing-“ I waved my free hand dismissively, hoping my little white lie wasn’t too transparent.

It was then that she looked up at me expectantly as if she was waiting for me to work out the right words.

“This presents an opportunity I seldom offer. Come with me and we can continue reading elsewhere.”

Yeah that worked out. I could save myself the embarrassment and also feel out this human for bad intentions if there are any. If it turned out she’s just some boring weak human, then I’ll forget about her and never have to talk to her again. I puffed out my chest, proud that I managed to come up with such a quick solution to a problem I hadn’t even thought of yet. I turned on my heel and went out the door.

She follows me up to the top of the stairs and stops in her tracks, rubbing her neck. If I hadn’t been paying attention, I would have thought that her hesitation was because she wanted to go back inside. I stopped halfway down the stairs, even so I was still a head taller than her while she stood at the top.

She took a deep breath and it was only then that she looked at me for the first time her averted eyes fully rose and meet mine. They were searching, and tired, and most importantly they were at ease. I on the other hand was not. Her gaze deeply unnerved me. Her gaze that had avoided mine since the moment she saw me was making me feel overly exposed. Why was I getting uncomfortable around a human? I almost had the urge to take a step back, almost.

May nodded and started down the stairs, closing the distance between us all the while her eyes didn’t leave mine. I was morbidly transfixed where I stood until her eyes finally found themselves on something else. “That sounds nice.”

And just like that any unease I felt dissipated, and I was filled with satisfaction. I might be left to wonder if I imagined that or not but I have plenty of time to contemplate that later.

“of course, it does!” We reached the bottom of the stairs and were looking out onto the parking lot. I shoved the pile of books into arms, and she left out a small grunt under the weight of them.

I pulled out a pen from my breast pocket and scribbled the address on a piece of paper from the notepad I had in my back pocket.

“You can write in script that fast?” She asked peering over the tower of books that were practically eye level for her.

“DAMN STRAIGHT.” I tore the sheet from the notepad and exchanged it for the pile of books.

I strode off to my car and chanced a cursory glance her way. She didn’t notice but it was enough to notice her faintly smile down at the note as she considered it. I slid into my car and spun out of the parking lot, satisfied with the way the tires screeched across the tarmac announcing my departure.

Chapter Text

I made it home in record time. My convertible purring as I pulled into our driveway as smooth as butter sliding across a hot skillet. The car was still brand new, in a sleek black that I had washed and waxed often. There was something almost devilishly sexy about the barely legal tint on the window that made my soul flutter every time I looked at it. The only gripe I had was that I had to get it custom-built to have enough legroom to comfortably drive it. which, in consequence, left me with a tailor-made bill made just for me. It was worth it though because in it I truly got the recognition and admiration I deserved.

I swung my legs out of the car and collected my books, gingerly shutting my car door and admiring the shimmering undercoat of luxe paint under its glossy finish. I caught the look I was giving the car in its reflection and immediately looked around. I cleared my throat and recomposed myself, It was best if I went inside.

I eyed my flower bed and any sense of embarrassment I felt withered and died as pride filled my soul. There was not a weed in sight and all flowers looked healthy and vibrant along the walkways. The flowers on the surface were much more delicate than the ones underground. But what they lacked in hardiness they made up for in variety. Since moving to the surface, I’ve maintained my seasonal rotation of flowers and their blooming cycles so there was always something blooming to greet me when I came home. This time of year, my roses were a sight to see.

I reached for the doorknob and found it locked. Sans must not be home yet. It made sense, he usually was still at work around this time. It was past the time he usually came by for lunch so it was safe to assume that I could expect him to be home in another four hours or so. I pulled out my keys and went to work on getting things presentable for guests. I strode over to set the books down on the dining table before heading to the kitchen.

Even though humans tended to drive more…. cautiously than he might like it would take her a while to reach his address. Assuming she actually came…it had been a long time since I’d had a human guest. My hand froze over the hand towel. Feeling my soul sink. I snatched the rag up and folded it evenly laying it over the lip of the sink before I gave myself the time to visit somber thoughts.

This wasn’t the time for that. I had someone coming over, someone who at the very least needed to believe I was a better host than undyne. I burst into a flurry of movement. I could reminisce later.

I looked over my cabinets and spotted a particular canister. Sealed to maintain its freshness. I picked it up and rolled it gently in my palm to read the label. Inside, the contents lightly tumbled against its walls. The human looked like the type who could appreciate a nice cup of tea, and I hadn’t wanted to try this alone. Regrettably sans hated tea, so this particular kind sat unused for far too long.

I put a kettle on and set the fire beneath it blazing. While I waited for that to boil, I pulled out some of the butter cookies that I had made yesterday and set them out on the table.

I took pride in how I set the table, even reorganizing the books into piles based on what genre they were. I picked up one and gave it an appreciative look over. I had to say, not all of the titles she chose were complete trash. Some of them I might have to flip through myself.

This human seemed of average intelligence, something rare outside of the monster race. Plus, she could appreciate being in my presence. Now that, was completely unheard of among humans. So, either it was pure luck or a ruse. Even monsters had the bad habit of staring and have the gall to not even look awed by my presence while they did it.

I huffed, crossing my arms. Lately, some of the lesser monsters have been looking at me with resentment and their intent has been borderline hostile. That wouldn’t have concerned me back in the day, when such actions were as mundane as a morning greeting; but considering how peaceful things have been lately its…concerning. Especially when lesser monsters have felt emboldened enough to join in.

Receiving this amount of scorn after working for years to end vendettas and working on monster-to-monster relations…It didn’t make sense. If I didn’t care about lessening my reputation there’s no way I would stand for this kind of disrespect, but at the same time there was something dirty about going out of my way to dust some froggit or reptile monster, they just weren’t worth my time.

I just didn’t understand how things were getting worse. Tensions shouldn’t be so high when sans was out risking his life protecting monsters from human attacks. Even with the added effort, he was still gaining negative attention lately.

Sans didn’t think I knew about his occasional nightly escapades where he went on a lookout for patrolling humans with bad intentions or that monsters regularly talked about how an unseen force saved them from whatever human had been stalking them in the blink of an eye.

He hasn’t been hurt, the only thing hurting him right now was himself. The number of times he came home with his magic near depleted were far too many to be comfortable about.

I glared down at the kettle and rubbed the crease between my brows that showed in its reflection. I wished that he took better care of himself, no doubt he hasn’t eaten enough today either. Sans had another thing coming if he thought he was going to continue to make me worry over him. When he got home, I’d make him pack a proper lunch and meals to supplement his magic properly instead of letting it deplete and have him rooting through the fridge like a savage beast.

I pinched the ridge over my nasal cavity, focusing on keeping all concern off my face, which, I was finding difficult. It’s been only two years but still, I would have thought that by now he would have begun to grow less… apprehensive about our new way of life. Even though the rest of us may have gotten a head start on changing our ways, I fear he won’t ever adjust.

I saw my reflection in the polished bronze kettle and sighed. If I continued to make this face then I would end up scarring the human off for sure. I straightened my spine and looked down at the teapot as if it were happy to see me. Yes, that was the expression I wanted to have.

It wasn’t lost on me that I was making faces at a kettle, and I would’ve dusted anyone who walked in on me while I did it. But it was important that sans begin to see that not everyone and everything was a threat…even if I wasn’t sure if she was one or not. If that meant making eyes at a teapot to befriend a human so, be it.

So long as sans could go back to being him. him before whatever happened underground twisted his soul up into something that was hard to recognize anymore.

With a final huff, I snatched a kettle coaster off the counter and the kettle off the stove. The steam settles over my skull as I strode over to the dining table, it was soothing enough to help me become the great host that I was meant to be.

I set the kettle down on the protective little coaster and began to steep the tea, it didn’t take much to make the gold and red bleed out into the water unevenly. It cast swirls into the water until they blended into a rich marigold color. the doorbell ring tentatively just as I finished. Perfect timing.

I strode over and swung the door open.

The human stood there, her glasses askew and her hair tousled. Had she been startled by the door? My suspicions must have been correct because she appeared flustered at having been caught. She hurried to fix her glasses and compose herself. That was a bit of an exaggeration wasn’t it, I had noticed that the human didn’t like sharp movements, but I hardly opened the door violently. It didn’t even hit the wall like it usually does.

“DON’T JUST STAND THERE HUMAN COME IN.”

She started at my voice but quickly relaxed and smiled politely practically scurrying in. the human was awkward but still very easily read, and also entirely too trusting.

While I had no intentions of doing anything nefarious, the fact that she so willingly entered my home was.…. concerning. the concern wasn’t that she was planning to do something of ill intent herself, but if someone as small as her trusted the wrong human or monster then she could easily find herself to be plant fertilizer.

I closed the door behind her as she passed, but she now stood awkwardly in the middle of the room no doubt questioning the etiquette that monsters practiced. It was apparent in the way she fidgeted that she wasn’t sure where or ‘if’ she should sit. Not to mention the way she glanced at the shoes by the door and then her own if she wasn’t sure if she should take hers off.

A small part of me really wanted to ask how she survived this long. But mostly I was just enjoying the ridiculousness of this human. Earlier I took joy in teasing them, but now I couldn’t do anything but take pity on a human this ridiculous. I tried to steel my resolve, to try to fault her as some sort of infiltrator.

But I watched deadpan as she couldn’t decide to take off her shoes or not, and was too self-conscious to just ask. If there was any human to prove that some things were harmless, it would definitely have to be this one.

“Everyone takes their shoes off in this house, we keep the rugs here white or you’ll be the one painting them,” I tell her dryly. It was a long-running ‘joke’ in this house that long since lost its weight. To the human’s credit, she doesn’t even react to the morbid joke. There wasn’t even a look that asked if I was serious.

All she does is politely leave her shoes by the door. Out of politeness I don’t look down at her socks and strode off to put her books down on the table.

I empty my throat. “ITS BELATED BUT WELCOME TO MY ABODE.” I gesture to the space around me, in a grand sweep.

May smiled and I pulled out a seat for her on one end of the dining table and took a seat on the opposite end.

“It is very nice,” she said taking a seat.

I gave her a nod, I did have good taste. I took a book from the pile.

”did you know that we’re practically neighbors?”

I glanced up at her and leaned back in my chair, “are we”

“Well only technically, in the same gated community as you do but I’m a lot closer to the gate than you are. To be honest with you I haven’t really been nosy enough to walk around the block.”

She had my attention in earnest now. So that hadn’t been a figure of speech we really were practically neighbors. “I didn’t know any other humans lived here besides that one that mans the gate.” I relaxed some, the human guard was actually very friendly. No one doubted the love he had for his partner either, that being said he went out of his way to screen the new people who applied to live here. you couldn’t set foot in the community if you had a bad background or history of hate crimes. Whether it be monsters, humans, or any hate crime for that matter.

Usually, there was some other condition to move here, like the recommendation of another monster. I appraised her, looking her over. “Are you dating a monster too?”

She blinked. “Oh! Nono, I live with lulu.”

So the recommendation came from lulu? Had she known this human for longer than I thought? I hadn’t known she was living with her too. I considered this, it wasn’t common for humans to decide to live among monsters let alone with one in the same house, typically it’d be more preferable to them to live with their next of kin than to live with us, size difference aside there was still a lot of tension between us two races.

“Does your family mind you living around us?”

My eye lights track her hands as they try to discreetly scratch at her arms. Yeah, that had to be a nervous tick.

“They wouldn’t care,” may shrugged indifferently, but her somber mood betrayed just how close she and her family was. She might as well come out and said that her family ties were shitty at best.

“How about you, uhm do you have family?” the segue way felt forced, but I let it slide.

“I don’t have much family, it’s just me and my brother.”

Her eyes lit up, and she didn’t hesitate to latch onto this new topic. Not that I minded, talking about my brother was something I rarely got to enjoy since everyone either already knew him or had already formed their own opinion about him

“Oh, you have siblings? Is he younger or older?”

“Oh they’re older, they practically raised me when I was but a baby bones.”

“I always wished I had a sibling; a brother would’ve been cool.”

“it’s overrated. I’m his glorified MAID.” I gulped my tea in a frustrated huff. No, it did not burn. No, my tongue wasn’t singed. I roughly slam the teacup back down, but not so hard as to break it.

She noticed and snrked. I gave her a returning glare and her attention darted away pretending to be distracted by the cookies instead. I huffed again and leaned back into my chair.

She took a bite of one of the butter cookies and smiled. “if you bake like this I then I don't blame him, I’d just want to sit around eating these all day too.”

“My baking skills should hold no bearing on his laziness! And how could you eat those without any tea! That’s against the law!”

I reached an arm over the table to grab the pot and pour her a cup. it’s still hot, and it steams as the cup is filled with the amber liquid.

Her smile faded around the corners, her eyes watching the contents of the cup swirl. Her sunny demeanor diminished as she stared down into it. the change wasn’t drastic, but it was definitely noticeable. I slid the sugar dish towards her, but she didn’t even look up from the cup.

Did humans not like tea? But that couldn’t be right, humans had a whole culture dedicated to tea. Was she worried that something was done to the drink? No, I didn’t think that was the issue. she ate one of the cookies with no hesitation so it would make no sense to don an air of caution now not when everything else she’s done up till now has thrown all caution to the wind.

“Is it not satisfactory?”

Her eyes snapped up, “oh! Sorry no, it’s really nice actually. I just got lost in thought.”

It wasn’t just my imagination. She looked down into her cup as if it had just told her some sort of grim news. Now she looked up at me as if she were offering her smile as an apology. As much as I wanted to ask her what exactly she had been thinking about, and given that she seemed open enough to just pour out every secret she had I decided that it was better not to.

Eager to start up a conversation to kill this awkward silence I say. “ you’re not from around here are you.”

she looked at me from over the brim of her steaming teacup. Gently blowing over the top. “What makes you say that?”

“am I wrong?”

She shook her head. “no you had it right, I was just curious.”

“You aren’t as ignorant as the other humans I talk to.” I had to choose the best word from an overabundance of colorful descriptions. “You’re less….disrespectful.”

She smiles as she considers this. it was a bashful sort of smile, she wasn’t uncomfortable so much as she was unprepared for such a statement. “uh thanks?” she let out an awkward chuckle. “I’m sorry, it just that’s the weirdest compliment I’ve ever gotten.”

“don’t get used to it.”

“ with compliments like those how could I,” She openly teased me now. But the smile on her face had returned to its bright disposition that she had earlier, albeit with more mirth. I hated to admit it, but it was far too easy to be comfortable around her. I didn’t even feel offended by her teasing.

I crossed my arms. “I TAKE IT BACK THE REAL REASON I ASKED WAS BECAUSE YOURE WEIRD AS FUCK!”

I could feel the heat rise to my face. Why did I say that? That was completely unnecessary. I was about to worry more but then I could hear them snickering under their breath.

“Said the guy who just invites weird people over to their house.” She gives me a look full of mirth.

“PHRASING!” my skull was no doubt aglow with embarrassment, but I didn’t have it in me to check the damage in the reflection of the kettle. “I’ll have you know I choose my guests wisely and very selectively! You should feel grateful to be one of the few who gets to see inside my lovely home!”

The human looked at me wide-eyed as if something surprised her. At first, I thought she was going to give me a retort or tease me more. But none of that came, All awkwardness left her as a beaming grin cut across her face. She looked as if someone told her she won a million gold. It made my soul twist.

She nodded. “thanks for inviting me then.”

I cleared my throat and composed myself. Thankfully, I didn’t have to respond because she didn’t take long to pick up the proverbial conversation ball.

She sets down her teacup, even though it’s the smallest one I have in the house it’s still much too large for her to hold with one hand. She looks back down into it and the melancholy that had swept through her features before was absent. She watched and the colors that didn’t quite mix swirled around her cup.

“about what you said,” she started not looking up into her teacup. “ I know what it’s like to be treated…differently. So I try my best to just treat people like.. you know people.”

“But we’re monsters.”

She tilts her head to the side and I could see her tongue poke out into her cheek as if she were tasting the words she wanted to say next. “true, but I don’t think the word ‘person’ is just exclusive to just humans. What I mean to say is…” I could see her cogs working and the longer the pause grew the more flustered she looked.

I threw her a life ring “that you try to treat everyone equally?” I finished for her.

She nodded gratefully sipping her tea. “I was trying to say it but my brain kept overcomplicating it. ‘treat everyone equally, ‘the way I want to be treated’ ‘provide the benefit of our doubt’ but when I wanted to actually say it, it felt…hollow. I guess it's more accurate to say I try to put my best foot forward with someone I just met but it feels like lately, I’ve just been putting my foot in your mouth.” She tries to take another sip of her tea but winds up sputtering.

Oh, stars was she choking?? I stood from my seat, my chair precariously wobbling on its hind legs before landing upright. I was about to round the table when she started to pat her chest with a fist looking mortified.

“MY foot in MY mouth.” She corrected.

I plopped down in my chair and covered my face with my hands. I let out a settling breath and rested my elbows on the table.

My body with the laughter I was desperately trying to hold in. The image of her face when she corrected herself, the second-hand embarrassment, the complete fool she made out of herself, and what was worse I was about to go into a panic thinking she was going to choke! on tea! What was I thinking? What was I going to do? give her the Heimlich because a drink went down the wrong way?

I guffawed, and once It was out, I couldn’t hold it in. I slammed the table with my fist, not being able to catch my breath. “for..for all your teasing!!” I said between laughter. I couldn’t even get the words out. She had the nerve to tease me when she made a blunder like that.

She started to pout at all my jeering. “it wasn’t even that funny,” she mumbled.

“OH YEAH? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT? PUT YOUR FOOT IN MY MOUTH?” another round of laughter made its way through me at her expense.

She begrudgingly ate a cookie and tried and failed to look unperturbed. “ you know its hard to think that I was intimidated by monsters at first, with how we’re sitting around having tea while you’re yelling about feet.” She said waving the half-eaten cookie at me while she pouted.

I held up a finger while the rest of the laughter was wheezing its way out of me and I could finally catch my breath. “hooo.” I straightened and leaned in my chair, feeling spent. I can't remember the last time since I've laughed like that. “okay, I’m fine. Also, you started the feet thing, not me.” I corrected.

“Also, the initial fear of us is to be expected. We were definitely…concerned about being around humans.”

“well, it’s not that I think you guys are scary or anything. it’s just that I’m so much smaller than most of you. Then, there’s the fact that I didn’t know how to interact with other humans let alone monsters. Really, I was afraid of saying the wrong things to the wrong people “ her eyes go back to her oversized teacup where she swirls the golden flower tea idly with a spoon, that might as well’ve been a ladle for how large it looked in her hands.

“Sorry, I have a bad habit of rambling off.”

I nodded “It’s definitely a problem that you seem to be so trusting.” I lean back in my seat arms crossed. Her talking is what I wanted, sure reading these books was a fine idea but they could wait. they would still be here when she left, but I couldn’t say the same about whatever information she had.
Which wasn’t ideal. If she was just going to skip right into any stranger’s house or practically hop in their cars who knows if she’ll even survive until our next meeting.

While she didn’t seem like a direct threat to us or monsters, I still wanted to feel her out. It was extremely unlikely to get close with all of the strongest monsters coincidently and with no motive. Not unless she really was just a clueless bystander. Which as time went on, I was having trouble convincing myself otherwise.

“it’s not safe to go spouting your deepest secrets to a stranger.” My company included. Though I felt like the warning would fall on deaf ears.

The human shrugged, “you do have a point. But I had a gut feeling that you were the kind sort.”

I looked at her like she was insane. “And what the fuck gave you that impression.”

She didn’t answer and gave a genuine smile. One that hinted at knowing something that I didn’t. instead of explaining she took another small sip of her tea.

I didn’t know what to say in the face of the compliment, it would have been different if she had said something of no substance like my shirt looked nice or my bones looked particularly bleached today but a comment on my actual character wasn’t something I had been expecting. It threw me for a loop and I was stuck between wanting to thank her for it and be appalled that someone had the balls to do so. When it didn’t look like she was going to elaborate I huffed.

“fine! Keep your secrets human!” I snatched a cookie off the tray in frustration. I didn’t have the energy to prod her for any more questions today, maybe I would just go by lulu’s and demand that she come over for another visit if I wanted to try again later.

“Alright!” she announced, standing abruptly and pulled a book from a stack. “Well how about we crack open a few of these .” I didn’t comment on her abrupt change in conversation, If anything it was better that she did.

She didn’t even look at the book she grasped for as she eyed the other butter cookies, specifically the ones with chocolate drizzled over top.

I nodded. While I wasn’t feeling up to more talking, a nice quiet read with company would be nice.

“So what should we get started with cheesy romance or a classic?” She holds up two books and she’s beaming as if the books were two winning lotto tickets rather than bundles of bound paper with particularly…suggestive covers.

“aren’t those both just cheesy romance novels?”

“but ones a classic!”

There was a crackle of magic and I bristled instinctually, that was until I recognized just what it was.

Oh shit! not right now.

Just then sans pops into existence behind her, manifesting in a black shroud that rolls off of him and immediately disperses. He stood behind her, back facing hers. I fought the urge to move or look at him too much, sans hadn’t noticed but May’s eyes are wide as if the panic I felt was mirrored on her face. She stood frozen with both of the books still held up, with their covers presented. Sans casts a very noticeable shadow over may as he straightens and may’s panic had her curling to herself, the books drooping and she got ready to turn around. I reached out to say something to try and distract her, or signal to sans to go into the other room.

To my dismay, sans was fiddling with something on his work shirt and didn’t notice. “Hey paps-“

At the sound of his voice May yelps and swivels on her heel the books getting tossed into the air in the process.

Sans turns and practically breaks his neck at the startled shriek. He even punched a book that came flying his way and it was sent across the room and smacked the far wall with a thud while the other plopped to the floor.

I felt sweat bead up on my temple, and I half stood from my chair trying to ease the situation? There wasn’t anything to ease. The situation was either she noticed him port or not. Hopefully, the human doesn’t notice the beginnings of magic were released into the air.

Thankfully the magic doesn’t amount to much more than that, because sans managed to calm down once he eyed the two of us. When may wasn’t looking, I give him a warning look that said that I would brutally murder him later if he doesn’t try to at least rectify this issue.

“Brother.” I greeted.

May’s eyes don’t leave Sans’s. She was giving him an odd look, like if she didn’t keep her eyes on him then he might bite her. She stared him down, looking him dead in the eye lights almost defiantly. It wasn’t lost on me that she hardly looked me in the eye during our entire encounter today. But she was staring now, but she manages to pull her eyes away just long enough to study my features before returning to his.
I could see the exact moment when something clicked and then when her expression said, ‘I’m so ducking dumb’ and she all but facepalmed. She let out a breath and very reluctantly turned her back on sans.

Sans, no help as always didn’t say a word and stared her down just the same. Rather than let this torturous silence continue I spoke up to break it. “sorry about that May, I was so focused on picking out our book that I didn’t see sans come in.” I glared at him. “I’m sure he didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Sorry papyrus, I’m just a little jumpy.” She tried and failed at being discreet about her unsettled glances at sans. It was obvious that she was uncomfortable. “I actually think that we’ll have to have our book reading later if that’s okay.” She gave me an apologetic smile, even looking disappointed that she hadn’t had the chance to finish her cup.

I nodded. It would’ve been okay if I thought that she really would be visiting again. I watched abysmally as she put her shoes back on and her hand hesitated over the lock. I had locked it when she came in. now, she looked at it as if it were a puzzle, before turning the deadbolt.

She turned to me with another apologetic smile. “thank you again, for having me.” That was all she said before She gently closed the door behind her. that door hadn’t seen that sort of treatment in years. I couldn’t even hear the click of the door catching on its frame.

It was unbearably quiet in her absence. Silence I was about to FUCKING disrupt.

“WHAT THE FUCK SANS!”

“ME?? WHAT ABOUT-“ he gestured wildly to where May had been sitting. “YOU JUST- SHE WAS JUST-“

“YOU DIDN’T TELL ME!” he yelled.

“ didn’t I TELL YOU that if you were going to ‘port’ over then do it to your ROOM?” I glowered.

“HOW’S’IT MY FAULT? You could’ve shot me a text, or hey ya know maybe let a guy know if you were gunna START BRINGING GIRLS HOME.”

“HAVING TEA IS HARDLY ‘BRINGING A GIRL HOME SANS’.” I mocked. “ plus you're one to talk! Did you give me advance notice before you brought that obnoxious florescent pink human here?”

“so what, you and her an item now?” He glared at me, Scrutinizing MY expression as if I were the one who was under fire right now and not him.

“HUH??? NO. sans no offense but she’s like thigh height at BEST. My sights are set on someone whos not a trip hazard and NOT fragile.”

“OKAY GROSS.”

“WELL YOU ASKED! Now we’re off-topic. We were talking about YOU, and what idiot thing you possibly did to scare her off.”

“I didn’t do shit.”

“you must think I’m a dumbass sans.” I huffed. “or fucking blind. She’s met you before. She looked at you like you ran over her dog.”

“what, she saw a monster, knew` that she was outnumbered and left. It’s pretty cut-and-dry to me.”

“SANS.” I let my tone give the warning that i was about to lose my shit and he read it loud and clear.

“okay, so maybe me and her did meet before.”

I waited for him to continue.

“and lets just say there were a few misunderstandings and it almost got violent.”

“VIOLENT??” I yelled aghast. Get violent at what??? It wouldn’t take much to intimidate her she could barely handle sharp movements let alone-

I glared at him. Was he the reason she kept flinching around me?

“ALMOST.” He repeated, reminding me.

I rose from my seat. “Sans. Clarify what exactly ‘almost’ means.” I spoke slow and deliberately. And he slowly backed away as I stalked him.

“paps, calm down.” His palms were out in a gesture of surrender. Trying and failing to subdue my rage that was boiling over. He tried to use the couch as a barrier between us as if I were a stranger to throwing this damn couch across the room.

“explain.”

I could see the sweat break out over his forehead. “well you see, she noticed that my magic was getting depleted and she started to ask too many questions so I thought she was gonna try something and one thing led to another and-“ he scratched the back of his head.

“I might’ve ported into her house and… scared her a little.”

I didn’t respond. I knew there was more. He knew it too. He looked like he was guilty, and he knew he sucked ass at keeping secrets from me.

“I may have.. pushed her against the wall.”

I clenched my fists and took a deep breath in and then out. Sans was frozen there, watching me. Waiting for me to react.

I pinched the bridge above my nasal cavity. Okay, she was okay. She wasn’t limping so at the very least nothing he did was… long-lasting. She didn’t go straight to authorities, otherwise, they would’ve already broken down our door. But if a human saw a monster use magic at any point and felt threatened, even the mention of it was enough to have monsters ‘investigated’ and then interrogated.
He used magic to get into her house. Into Lulu’s house ontop of that. Lulu would definitely have known he was there. If lulu was unhappy with sans then her entire family would be too, and so would all of their patrons. I would need to go see her myself and try to smooth this over. No doubt this was probably a contributing factor for the random hostility I’ve been seeing lately.

I took another breath. One problem at a time.

“Did May see you use magic?”

“you're using her name?”

“FOCUS SANS,” I yelled. Losing my patience. Even if may seemed like an open-minded human. If she was attacked by a monster, Then we have to assume the worst. If she went to authorities and told them magic was used on her then sans could face imprisonment with humans that would rather see a monster dead than be an inmate. “did. She. see it.” I snarled at him.

“no, she didn’t.”

I scrutinized his face. He was dead serious. His eye lights were on mine and did not leave once. He was telling the truth.

I nodded. That was one less thing I needed to worry about. As much as I would’ve hated to do it, if she had seen anything, I would’ve had to go find her and make sure that she wouldn’t be able to tell anyone about her experience. Open-minded human or not. I looked at her half-empty cup.

Thank the stars I wouldn’t have to do that again.

I let out an exhausted sigh. That was one problem down. “you’re going to have to make it up to her. Even if she didn’t see you use magic, we don’t need you on bad terms with humans. Assault can still land you in a good amount of trouble but you’re lucky that this particular human isn’t quick to snitch.”

“we’re always on bad terms with humans.”

I ignored the side comment and continued. “I have spent the better part of a day with that human, and just like yourself, the only real risk she poses is to themself. That being said I want you to go make it up to the human for whatever DUMBASS thing you did.” Sans was about to protest but I cut him a glare and he closed his mouth.

“We don’t need more attention on monsters right now sans.”

I thought I was going to get complaints, or maybe some bellyaching at the least but he just crossed his arms and huffed.

“what do ya need me to do.”

“for now if it makes you feel any better just keep an eye on her. It’s not like expecting you to just waltz up to her and go ‘oh I'm sorry for being an idiot’… actually yes. DO go up to her and say that.”

“Also, while I don't think she herself is up to anything, the fact that she just does as people ask of her is concerning. I just want to rule out the chances of her unknowingly working for a third party that has less than friendly intentions.”

He nodded. “fair enough,”

“While you're doing that I need to go smooth things over with Lulu. I’m assuming she already knows you trespassed on her property.”

“Nah, that’s already taken care of. Me and Lulu had a talk.”

“a ‘talk’ or-“

“a conversation. A civil one. We already made a deal so there’s nothing to worry about. “

His pupils stayed on mine. And he didn’t waver. I let out a groan and took a seat. “good.” So really it was just the one issue then. I'll check behind sans to make sure that everything does in fact pan out, and help his diplomatic efforts. Which to be honest, I’m pretty sure would be none.

Sans stood there for a moment, waiting for me to say something else. I rested my head in my hands, I suddenly had a pounding headache. When I realized I had no intention of telling him anything else he skirted around the couch and me before trudging upstairs to no doubt change out of his uniform.

“hey sans?” I called after him before He got back to his room.

“yeah?” he doesn’t bother to stop trudging up the stairs.

“you're a pain in my ass you know that right?”

“love ya too asshole.” He calls back.

Chapter Text

I sat there on the couch, fidgeting. I had been doing it since yesterday, itching to be doing anything but staying still but I didn’t want to leave the house before carefully weighing my options. I couldn’t just go barging over to her house and beat whatever answers out of her. Not that I’d enjoy doing that to a lady. human or not.

Not to mention her small constitution probably wouldn’t be able to sustain that sort of…questioning and still be able to offer any answers.

That only left my other option. It ould take longer but Papyrus was all for me keeping an eye out and watching the human, as if he was even really considering her as a threat. Even in the off chance that papyrus meant it, the face he made told me deep down that he didn’t believe that. the expression was too soft, not in any realm of scowl that he usually wore.

He had was damn near relaxed! With a perfect stranger sitting in our house. Honestly it wouldn’t have been an issue had it been literally anyone else.

If it was any other human then it wouldn’t be such a big deal. Sweat beaded up against my temple. No, that wasn’t true. If he brought home any human, even one that didn’t have as many shady connections as she did and it would still be a problem. If they were able to gain his trust enough for him to let his guard down then no, it wasn’t okay.

My bouncing leg got more erratic as I worked out my thoughts, which admittedly wasn’t getting any easier the longer I wrestled with them. Humans with fucked up souls never brought around anything good. They just brought-

I could still vivdly feel the grit of dust slip between my fingers, and hot blood that slicked my bones but ,just as quick as the sensation came, it disappeared; but not before breaking me out in a cold sweat.

Yeah she seemed harmless now, and honestly it would be so much easier if she was.

But there was a small voice nagging at me, telling me that there was something wrong. That I should have my guard up. I bounced my leg harder as the thoughts in my head pounded against my skull. Was I being paranoid? Nothing has happened for years. It had been months since I’ve been so worked up and I was hating not knowing the outcomes to expect from my actions, or the lack of them.

There have been plenty of times where I’ve been so convinced that I was going to lose everything, that I’d wake up and I’d be back at square one in that dilapidated house, where I knew that the things I did wouldn’t have a permanent impact on anything. The farther into this timeline only made me miss the certainty that came from living in loops.

Now, over twenty years since the last reset, I still couldnt find it in myself to get comfortable. Any other time I’ve gotten comfortable, FINALLY settle, shit got fucked up and I end up regretting it and every time I sat in my bed that following morning promising myself that I wouldn’t let my guard down the next time.

Deep down in my soul I really wanted May to be just some stupid average human. I wouldn’t even care that she was as weird as she is, if it meant that Paps wouldn’t get hurt. That I could just live normally.

I don’t think I’d be able to handle seeing him like that again. Only to have everything reset and have him nagging at me like nothing ever happened.

I was honestly exhausted. Exhausted of looking paps in the eye and lying to him. But I couldn’t do anything else. I couldn’t tell him again.

I hated that of all the resets that had faded from my memory with time, the ones I would never forget would be the one where I couldn’t save paps or the resets where He fell down because I couldn’t just keep It to myself.

I could vividly remember the his disgruntled expression. Like he thought I was making fun of him. He didn’t even start slinging insults he just squinted at me and scruitinized me like I had a screw loose.

It pissed me off.

“that’s a really fucked up joke. You know that right?” His voice was unusually low. It was the voice you used on weak monsters too small and too afraid to help themselves. That ran instead of fought.

“it’s not a joke.” I gritted out, feeling stupid for even telling him. I had worked up the nerve to tell him and even though I had expected this sort of reaction, I hated that I had hoped for a different outcome.

“whatever forget about it.” I was fuming and wanted to get out of here. The only way to salvage the situation was to leave and pretend that I didn’t say anything.

I pushed away from the dining table but papyrus stood too, reaching across the small table to try to keep me from leaving.

“sans-“

“NO.” I swiveled on him, seething. I clenched my hands into fists, barely reigning in my frustration. I pointed at him and he withdrew his hand.

“you kept asking and begging me and LOOKING AT ME!” I jabbed a finger in the air at his pitying scared expression.

He tried to reign it in, to try and hide it. “what-

“THAT FACE! THAT FUCKING FACE!” I growled at him. he always looked at me like I was going to dust myself at any given moment, no matter what I did to convince him that I was okay, that we weren’t sitting here having the same exact conversation at dinner, that I didn’t warn him when a human was going to come through.

Paps jaw snapped shut, knowing that he couldn’t deny it. Knowing what to say, and not knowing if saying anything was the better move.

At the time I didn’t care what he chose to do as he floundered, because back then I didn’t think that whatever I did would make a difference.

I didn’t know what I was trying to do, what I was after, but I didn’t stop.

“YOU WANTED TO FUCKING KNOW PAPYRUS. SO NOW IM TELLING YOU.”

He looked at me like he didn’t know who I was. Like he didn’t know what I did with the sans I knew. He leaned away from me as if I’d attack him. It only insulted me back then, but looking back it wasn’t uncommon enough to be impossible.

I lowered my voice, but didn’t relent. “we don’t matter. I don’t matter. YOU don’t matter.”

Papyrus’s eyes widened. His jaw clenched, and his expression hardened.

His eyes were trained on my face as I said the next words.

“ do you know how many times I’ve watched you die? How many times I’ve been here right here.” I gestured wildly to this poor excuse for a dining room.

“RIGHT HERE. And had this conversation? HAD TO LIE, FOR YOU TO GIVE ME THIS LOOK. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I cant keep you from dying. I cant keep anyone from dying papyrus. I wake up, go out this door and-” I leaned on the table now, shaking. I was starting regret talking about it, because the reality of the situation just felt more helpless. I was choked up with words that sum up the years I’ve spent in loops and my face was hot with chagrin from the tears that I refused to let fall.

He rose a hand to console me. To stop me from continuing. I never found out because I shrugged it away before he could utter a word.

“No matter what happens or what we do, we’re stuck down here papyrus. You’re stuck with me with my 1HP and Asgore breathing down our necks. Ive been here for so long. Long enough, where I can tell you from experience that in a hundred years we’re still here.” My voice was so low that I hadn’t been sure who I had been talking to anymore.

Papyrus didn’t say anything. The room was dead silent except for the humming of the only light bulb in the room over head and the ringing in my head. I had almost convinced myself that I was alone, that I had done this in another loop or I had finally went insane and deluded myself that I had this conversation and papyrus wasn’t even there.

When I found the resolve to look up, the expression on his face made my soul wanted to shrivel up. He wore the gentlest smile and the severe expression was unbearably soft and entirely forced. his expression was desperate, and in an instant I knew that he didn’t believe me.

“that cant be true, maybe we need to find you help. Alphys still owes me a few favors maybe she-“

“papyrus, she kills you” I blurted.

I don’t give him enough time to respond, continuing before he had time to voice his doubts. “Even when the human doesn’t kill you, a monster eventually does. Alphys lures you in and undyne finishes the job. She takes your position in the royal guard.”

“why would she-“

“asgore will order me to go after undyne once gets strong enough to be a threat and once she finds out, she’ll get the bright idea that by wiping you out I’d get weaker and would be easier to deal with.”

I watched tiredly as he begins to protest. He still didn’t believe me So, I listed off the ways I’ve seen him die, who killed him, how and what I did in response. I even made sure to tell him how exactly they had to be taken down. I gave him information that only he would know, like their weaknesses in combat. I’ve never fought anyone in the royal guard in this timeline. He knew I didn’t go anywhere besides grillby’s and wherever asgore sent me, so there shouldn’t be anyway where id have this information.

I didn’t know why I felt the need to go that far. Maybe I just didn’t want to carry the burden on my own anymore. Or maybe I was just being selfish and wanted paps to believe me. To understand.

“we don’t matter, huh.” All emotion was wiped off his face, he regarded me like he wasn’t actually there before he stalked off without another word.

I couldn’t tell if he was angry, if he was shocked….or if he was scared. All I saw was his back, he didn’t even bother to stomp up the stairs. I waited for him for the usual slam of his bedroom door, but it never came. When there was a almost inaudible click it took me too long to realize that was him locking it.

The barely functioning ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner of the room, the humming of the light overhead growing loud enough to fill the silence I was left in.

In a rage I shoved everything off the table. Plates shattered against the wall and the pasta dish exploded into a million pieces and red pasta sauce. It wasn’t enough, and instead of destroying anything else in the house I left to blow off steam elsewhere.

I left the house that night. I had felt disgusting after telling papyrus everything. I had rattled off every disgusting thing that I had to live through as if I was handing off some stupid baton, like he should have to suffer just because I had to.

I burned through a lot of my magic that night and the next few nights after that. Every night, papyrus was never around. He would stay locked up in his room and every night I would knock on his locked door to see if he wanted to talk, If I could apologize.

Even if I didn’t know where to start.

But there was never any answer. After a month of this I was getting worried, this wasn’t like papyrus. I was honestly weighing if I should just port into his bedroom just to check on him one night when I knocked on his door, but the door creaked open instead. It hadn’t even been completely shut.

I stood there in the door way and eased it the rest of the way open. He wasn’t in his room, but his desk lamp was on. I headed over and looked over the lone piece of paper on it.

My eye lights only had to skim over a few words to catch the gist and I bolted out of the room. I ported as far as I could, which was never far enough with how depleted my magic was. I ran harder than I ever had, My soul twisted in it’s desperation, feet pounding against the marshy land that was infuriatingly dark. I ran on memory alone not waiting for the mushrooms to light the way.

“papyrus!” I yelled.

There was no answer. My feet slapped against the shallow water of a creek. I scrounged up the last of my magic to port to where I knew he would be. To stop him before it was too late. But it was.

I could still feel the water rush past my shoes and soak my sneakers as I toed the edge of the waterfall. The abysmally black gaping pit that no light escaped from, sat beneath me. It had only been seconds before when papyrus had jumped off into the darkness below.

In his words, he’d prefer to go out on his own terms than to fall down, or have all of the underground see him so pitiful. Even if no one would remember.

But I still did.

I had told him every single death, in such gruesome detail. In his letter He had mentioned that undyne was beginning to act suspicious and he had overheard her saying things that only proved what I had said. the one part that I always came back to was “the only monster that hadn’t dusted me, is me.”

He was wrong though.

I had been the one that killed him. that had been without a doubt my fault. He never would have dusted himself otherwise.

That had been a long time ago, more time than I knew how to keep track of.

the memory would always cut into me whenever I wanted to tell him about the resets, or when he tried to press me for answers about what was wrong, or why I couldn’t change. Even worse when I could see how much not telling him hurt him but the memory was a deterrent enough to keep from ever doing it again.

So, I’d keep being the good big brother. I’d do what he asks of me. Even if I wished that papyrus wouldn’t put so much effort into worrying about how I was doing and focused on his own happiness. He was so miserable when I told him that id be staying underground when everyone surfaced. He was more concerned with how I was doing than getting his new life set up, and now that im up here he is doing his damnest to stick his foot into any trouble he could find.

First it was getting that death trap of a car, then it was the countless speeding tickets and court visits ,and now it was this. What part of him exactly just made him so inclined to go and try and befriend the most likely dangerous human in the area? All this time above ground and papyrus hasn’t invited one human over until today, and it just HAD to be the one who has a fucked ass soul.

I groaned and put my skull in my hands.

I huffed. I was going to keep an eye on her. Promise to Lulu be damned. I wouldn’t lay a hand on her until she did something blatantly shady, and I’d be a lot more cautious next time and just….double check my facts.

I’d give her six months. I nodded to myself.

If she didn’t pose any threat by then….then I’ll work on trying to actually live up here. Try to forget about what happened underground.

I looked ahead at the blackened surface of our flat screen t.v. A dim reflection of me looked back from where I sat on the sofa.

“if your plans for the day involve brooding in the Livingroom I’m going to kindly suggest that you get the fuck out of the house.” Paps said dryly from the kitchen.

“Im not brooding.”

Paps popped his head out of the doorway to shoot me a look. A look that said “bullshit” before returning to the kitchen.

“ why do you need me to leave anyway? Got another guest coming over?” I said sarcastically.

Paps scoffed. “after you ran the last one out? No. I’m cooking and I don’t want your gloom to taint my culinary artistry.”

He wagged his sauce covered ladle at me. “the last thing I want to taste in my pasta is your angst.” He said as an afterthought.

“angst!” I sputtered a laugh , “sure, whatever Shakespeare. I was headed out anyway.” I got up from the couch with a grunt and headed over to my shoes and gloves.

“will you be home for dinner?”

I tugged on the edge of the leather, making her the fit was snug against my fingers. “should be, but I might be running late. I work the mid shift.”

“sure, whatever. Make sure to port into your BEDROOM this time sans.”

“yeah yeah,” I waved dismissively.

With that I left the house. I stepped off onto our walkway and huffed the crisp morning air. There was a season change coming. The air was cooler than usual and the taste of it war. Different. I still wasn’t used to the weather above ground. It was so much more volatile than what we ever had. Each season had their set type of weather patterns which were just about random on any given day.. Even the humans that tried to predict it on t.v. got it wrong most of the time. There was one thing I knew was that two more season changes and we would be in winter, and that meant I wouldn’t have to suffer through the hell they called summer anymore.

I headed down the block and up toward the open gate. Typically, I wouldn’t walk but I needed time to clear my head. I side eyed lulu’s house and noted that both cars were in the driveway.

If I was going to keep an eye on May, I’d need to start keeping up with her weekly routine. But if she was at home I wasn’t about to make the mistake of trespassing when lulu would be able to immediately tell that id been there.

Plus, it didn’t seem necessary. I could get a better idea of who a person was when they aren’t in their element.

Who was May when there was no one else to see her? Who did she talk to? Was there really a second party involved like paps said?

Plus there was the matter of finding out if her soul was somehow just blighted, or formed wrong somehow. If that was just the case then it would be no issue. I could chalk it up to being overly cautious and then pretend that she never even existed. Not to mention the small problem of figuring out how to even see her soul. I’ve asked her in the past and she got the wrong idea. I scowled, she acted as if I wanted her to take her soul out and wave it around or something. I scoffed, I just asked what was wrong with it.

I walked down the hill leading into town, the road along the path didn’t see too many cars since there wasn’t much of a reason to come this way. There was only the mountain and our little community up this way. So, unless you were stupidly curious or up to no good there shouldn’t be any reason why anyone to start exploring near here.

I followed a fork in the path to the park. It cut through under brush and shrubs, and the path turned more into a dirt trail. No doubt made by kiddos who were too lazy to walk all the way around the hill to get back home. It was a path that I walked frequently myself. It was mostly concealed by the foliage of a weeping willow, and if you hadn’t been looking for it you would never know it was there. I parted the curtain of canopy to step out onto the parks grass. This area was unmanicured and wild, with the grass coming up to my ankles. This area was one of the more secluded parts of the park, since most people stuck to the paved path and flowerbeds. Which suited me just fine.

The less people the better.

I trudged along the edge of the park, sticking to the shady cover from the trees. They must have trimmed the grass again somewhere nearby because its earthy sweet scent permeated the air. If I hadn’t been so restless I would have enjoyed how nice it was out today.

I couldn’t shake the feeling like I needed to be doing something. I needed to be productively proving or disproving that May had hostile intentions. The fact that she was steadily going around acquainting herself with the strongest of monsters was already an issue. Worse still that no one else seemed to notice.

She could befriend as many lesser monsters as she wanted and it would’ve been no issue but having monsters you barely knew opening their doors to you wasn’t normal. Given, Fuko’s party was for humans and monsters alike, a good enough party could bring any two opposing groups together, the abundance of free alcohol and food didn’t hurt either.

It also didn’t hurt that the majority of the humans that came were from the college that fuko attended and were typically younger than the more ignorant, less open minded humans. Regardless it was still a stupid move for her to throw that party but it was even luckier that nothing happened. Almost nothing happened.

I caught some movement from the corner of my eye. Up ahead, near the northern part of the park there was a silloutte of a person walking along the paved path. I paused along the tree line, not having noticed how far I had walked. I was closer to the areas people frequented now but not entirely within view.

I stood still when they overstepped the flowers, they had wobbled on one foot being ridiculously careful not to step on them before getting the rest of the way across and walking across the grass. Then, abruptly, turned and made for the edge of the park. I flinched when I thought they were heading in my direction but it became apparent that their attention wasn’t on me. there was a clearing up ahead that gave way to a trail. But they weren’t going to go up there would they?

I was curious, but I couldn’t make out who it was from here, so I stayed and watched.

As they came closer to the edge, they unknowingly approached me. They were still a good few yards ahead of where I stood and their features became more clear as they bee lined for the path. They hesitated at the edge of the park before the mouth of the trail.

It was May.

A part of me was put out by the fact that I kept running into her, but an even larger part was thanking my luck. This would mean less work. I watched as her thoughts played out on her face. the indecision if she should walk down this trail. She looked around, her eyes missing me where I stood hidden along her eyeline. She was probably wondering if it was safe.

I didn’t have much time to contemplate why else before she trudged along. What was she doing? Where did she think she was going? She hadn’t been dressed for hicking. Not in sandals and a skirt. I eyed the path. There wasn’t nothing that way but the mountain. The beaten path was old and maintained only by the game that used them to get around. That being said they were usually overgrown and the trails broke off in odd places.

If you didn’t know what you were doing then you could easily get lost. That’s assuming you didn’t know what you were doing, maybe she was familiar with the path.

When I couldn’t hear her footsteps anymore, noisily clomping away up the trail I went to follow her. Stealthiness sure wasn’t her thing that’s for sure. It was as if she as going out of her way to step on every branch and twig that came her across her path.

Following her would be easy, plus I hadn’t used much magic so I could probably spare some to ‘port a few times. I ‘ported deeper into the forest, in an area too dense for her to see me if she passed. I watched as she trudged through the underbrush, not seeming to care about where the trail led as the trail became less of one and more of a field of grass. Regardless I travelled parallel to her. The farther she went, the more confused I was. She didn’t look like she was looking for something. The way she headed up the mountain was aimless at best.

I didn’t know how long I followed her, but she finally stopped at an open clearing. It was predominantly tall grass, spotted with wildflowers that had taken control of the area. I watched her from afar, as she stood almost awestruck. She stepped out from the shade of the trees into the clearing, and I watched her expectantly.

She walked out into the meadow with her eyes closed, and her hands grazing the tops of the blades of grass and flowers. Once she was at the meadows center she stood there for a moment before she leisurely fell backward to lay in it.

I don’t know what I had been expecting. But it hadn’t been that.

The grass was tall enough to reach my hips, which meant that she was now out of view. I huffed. Had she noticed that I was here? Was she using this to get away?

But the grass hadn’t parted or moved since she laid down. Except for the gentle roll of wind through its blades.

I watched but nothing moved.

I waited but there were no changes.

I stood there with the trees standing stock still for what felt like an eternity. When my patience running out, I decided I could chance coming a little closer to try and catch a glimpse, feeling worried that I had missed something and she really did slip away somehow. I came up to the edge, barely concealed by the foliage just to check.

And when I least expected it, her head popped up over the grass.

Instinctually, I teleported away, deeper into the forest and onto a sturdy tree. I thanked my stars that it was strong enough to support me, in fact its branches were so thick that it barely swayed under my added weight.

I looked back down, and May had cautiously gotten up and as quietly as she was able which admittedly, wasn’t quiet at all, and made her way over to where I had just been standing.

she had found a tree branch with all the leaves still attached and used it as a makeshift weapon. She stood and cautiously came over to the spot, before looking around and prodding the underbrush with the ridiculous-looking branch that wasn’t stiff enough or thick enough to do anything but droop under the weight if its own foliage.

How did she know I was there? I hadn’t made a sound this entire time. I sat in the tree stock still and watched as she made her way back down the mountain. She didn’t seem to know exactly where she was going but made use of some odd looking rocks and knotted trees she had passed as landmarks to guide her way back to the path.

She didn’t head back leisurely, in fact she hurried back down the mountain until she finally made it back to the park. When her feet hit the manicured grass she didn’t stop, leaving it all together. Throwing looks around as if she felt she was being chased the entire time. Which was only partially true.

She knew I was here. How did she know? Or maybe it was a coincidence? I don’t think she knew it was me specifically considering the way she didn’t call my name. She had looked right at the spot I had been standing. I’ve never had a human find out I was tailing them. Plus the only monsters that knew my magic specially were close friends and family.

I scratched the back of my skull. This was a first. I don’t know how I feel about it.

She walked out into the more populated parts of the park. People were up now and there were a few visitors. It just made it challenging to tail her without anyone else noticing.

I still managed it though, I even managed to listen in on a phone conversation that she had.

“hey, uh no im free,” She said, carefully stepping over the flowers again and back onto the path.

There was a pause. “I’m at the park. Yeah I-“

‘youre already here?”

“where?”

And before I had time to wonder who she was talking to Emily’s car revved into the parking lot. If I didn’t know better, I would say that she drove like papyrus.

I stayed completely out of sight, taking extra care that I stayed out of their eye line. The last thing I needed was to deal with Emily today. May gets into the car after leaning into the car window and talking to her. Seeming to protest something before begrudgingly getting in.

I didn’t have a whole lot of energy left, about enough to port five or six more times before I would be running on empty.

Luckily I had a good idea of where they were headed. I left the canopy of trees and headed home to eat a few things to replenish my magic. Papyrus just had this appalled look on his face like me stuffing my face wasn’t a common occurrence. “what? You told me to not wait till I ran out.” I said with a full mouth while papyrus was working up a remark while he topped the lasagna with a disgusted look. I shrugged and teleported away before he could say what he was going to.

It would take a while for them to arrive where they were headed, so I had plenty of time to port. I teleported into the backwoods of her home. Her apartment was two floors and connected to an outside staircase that allowed humans to walk through the outside hallway to get to their apartment.

It was decently sized, large enough that the ceiling doesn’t brush against my skull. Or at least that’s what I remember of it since the last time I visited. I bristled preparing myself for the overwhelming aroma of arousal that steeped into almost everything. I wondered if humans were even aware of it, because if they were then I had no idea how they put up with how bad it was in there.

It looked like I came at the perfect time. They were only just getting out of the car. Good. That took out the guesswork for where I could and couldn’t port.

I ported right inside of the Livingroom. It was still decorated with a sickening amount of pink and faux fur. I stalked upstairs, where I would be able to overhear their conversation from the loft. I plopped down in the corner on the bean bag, grateful that it hadn’t smelled nearly as bad as her room had.

It didn’t take long for them to come through the door.

I heard the chuffing of shoes as they were kicked off feet, and two people plopped down on the loveseat…which was accurately named. I cringed.

“Alright,”

“Alright?”

“may come on no more stalling!”

“I'm not stalling.”

She was stalling.

“oh my god, do I have to spell it out? I want to know how it went!”

I leaned forward silently listening intently, how what went?

“It was only a visit Emily it wasn’t like something magical happened.”

Magic?

“come on don’t give me that, you’re going to keep beating around the bush.”

I heard a shuffling downstairs, and my impatience grew. Why couldn’t she give me more to work with here? Her answers were so vague that I couldn’t say without an ounce of doubt what they were talking about.

“I just went to see him, Emily, nothing else happened.”

“Nothing?” there was a teasing trill to Emily's voice. “not even some- ow!” I heard a resounding slap.

“don’t act like you didn’t see that coming making hand gestures like that”

“I mean I did, but my poor fingies.” Emily pouted

I blinked, piecing together the context. This… I hope this wasn’t about paps. Or if may was pining over paps she was going to be straight out of luck. My stomach turned at the thought of her and him getting together and I had to reassure myself that paps said that he wasn’t interested.

“whatever! You love it when I joke around with you.”

“that’s what you think!”

May huffed. “I mean there’s not much to tell, we had tea together like usual, we talked.”

“I was wearing this dress and, I don’t know what I was thinking. I started flirting with him and he said,”

May spoke so low that I could hear.

“what?”

“that, he wouldn’t do anything unless I asked him to.”

“and did you ask him to?”

There was a silence and then a ‘thwump’ and a sputtering. “you can't just make that face!” ‘thuwmp’ “and not have had anything happen oh my god!”

“hey don’t beat me to death with your throw pillows, I don’t know where they’ve been!”

“up my ass,” she said offhandedly “but continue.”

I fell asleep on his couch because I was too…” she trailed off “overwhelmed to stay with him in his bed.”

“boo!”

“um and he sort of offered to do more, if I was willing.”

My skull heated up. I really didn’t want to hear this, and not about paps. I knew he was active but he had always been discrete enough where I didn’t have to witness…..IT.

“and were you?”

“um… I mean sort of. He definitely made it tempting, don’t think he meant to but he had gotten out of the shower and he was-“ No one could mistake the fluster in her voice.

Emily waited for her to continue, and when she didn’t I heard a frustrated groan.

“And??”

“well, that was it. Scott had to go to school and I wasn’t ready for that sort of thing yet.” May said quickly.

My soul dropped to my knees at the realization that she was talking about her partner and not papyrus.

I put my skull in my hands. Oh, my stars. What was I doing? I just sat through all of that just to listen to two humans talk about some Dumbshit. What was I doing? I completely forgot that she had a partner. I ported out of there, leaving as fast as possible to get away from this conversation.

I stepped out into my living room next to the couch that I thought may had been talking about. My skull was still hot with the fresh embarrassment and vivid mental images from getting too caught up in my own head. I felt like a straight-up idiot. I had really entertained the thought of may trying to seduce papyrus. Stars.

Even without listening to that conversation, anyone could tell that she was a virgin. Who was she going to seduce exactly? A potted plant? I grimaced. Honestly with the way she was rolling around in that meadow that didn’t sound unlikely.

When I looked up papyrus was standing their arms crossed, still wearing his mittens.

“so you really didn’t learn a single thing from yesterday did you.”

I looked at him confused.

“you. Ported. Into. The. living. Room” he spoke slowly like I had one brain cell left to operate on.

And honestly, It was too far off.

“uh sorry paps, I have a lot on my mind.”

He looked me over, no doubt noticing the flustered glow on my face, and instead of asking or responding he just turned back into the kitchen.

That was enough sleuthing for the day. I couldn’t handle anything else.

I went upstairs to get ready for work and head back out. I’d use my car this time.

Chapter Text

I look around the park. I’m the only one here, but for some reason even with the soothing energy that radiated off the flowers here it just wasn’t enough. After yesterday I desperately needed a recharge. I was so stupid for not realizing sooner that papyrus was related to that jerk. I just thought it would be wrong to assume something like that, considering the fact that I didn’t know if skeletons were a common monster or not. But I guess they couldn’t be that common If I only had to meet two of them for them be related.

I sighed, it sucked. Papyrus was surprisingly nice to be around. Maybe he was a bit too curious, but he was still a refreshing presence. He was much more courteous than he let on too. It was rare to meet someone who’s emotions didn’t differ much from what their demeanor was like. Papyrus liked to put up a standoffish attitude, but is actions very clearly reflected his more default feelings. So, once I got used to how loud he talked, he was like talking to anyone else.

So, to have sans ruin a possibility of befriending another book enjoyer was… disappointing to say the least. I mourned the cookies and tea that I hadn’t had a chance to finish, and my heart clenched at the memory of pap’s face when I told him I had to leave. He felt just as disappointed as I had.

I could tell he blamed sans for it too. As he should. It probably hadn’t been the first time sans ran off guests.

I huffed.

What was his problem anyway?

I stood there on the path to the park, it was still early. This really was one of my favorite times of the day. It was that hazy cornsilk blue of a sky that wasn’t quite awake yet, and the lone birds that began their calls that helped set my mind at ease. Or usually, it would.

I looked around the park, looking for something that would feel more soothing, and I spotted a hole in the thick woods that lined the park. It wasn’t entirely conspicuous and was probably easily missed. My eyes traced the spot, curiously. It was the beginnings of a trail.

Was it too early to be hiking? I glanced down to my worn boots. They were more for fashion than for trail exploring, I doubt they even had any treads left. My toes wiggled in my boots as I weighed my options. I itched to be back into the thick of it. Back where nothing mattered but me and nature. Things were simpler. I eyed the trail again, it wasn’t dark. Some of the morning light came through in soft rays, filtering through the canopy deeper within. The mountain loomed above the trail promising plenty of space to be alone with my thoughts.

I made up my mind, Id head up the trail just for a few minutes. I’d look around and then head right back down.

I struggled to step over the flowers, which admittedly shouldn’t be as difficult as it was. Who ever maintained this park did a damned good job of it because the tulips that lined this area were practically thigh high.

As I made my way over to the trail head, the grass became less and less tended to. It was just short of being wild, but the beaten path while it was narrow, was very defined. I took a last look around, and sure enough I was still alone.

Good.

My eyes drew back to the mouth of the trail and finding no real reason not to, started up the path.

Almost immediately I was hit with the feeling of not quite calm, but clarity. My problems didn’t feel so big.

Like just being here was taking the edge off of the stress that I’d been carrying.

I focused on the trail under my feet, and the pebbles that crunched beneath my boots. The trees whispered its quiet music as they swayed to gentle winds above their tops. The energy they gave off wasn’t unfamiliar but was in a completely different league than the subdued energy I got from plants that were carefully cultivated and tame.

The trees here were old. Old, and thriving. I closed my eyes and ran my hand along the soft ferny underbrush as I walked.

I couldn’t help the satisfied smile on my face. There was something about indulging in a guilty pleasure and knowing there wasn’t anyone around to bother you, that just felt so nice.

I had just stepped on something that crunched loud enough to break me out of my thoughts. I paused, looking down. Oh, it was just a leaf. The path ahead was sprinkled with large palm sized dried leaves. They all had the beginnings of red and orange blooming somewhere on them. It looked like they couldn’t wait for Autmn to make their way to the ground. They were long dead, so I took the liberty of crushing every oversized dry leaf in my path. Listening to the satisfying crunching when I did. When I was a kid this was one of my favorite pastimes.

After a bit more walking, the path became less defined and more sporadic. If I wasn’t careful, I could get lost. I needed to pay attention. I looked up and could still see the direction the sun was coming from; it was still coming up behind the mountain. I wouldn’t go much farther.

Every now and then I would spot a knotted tree, a weirdly shaped shelf of fungi or a beehive and make a mental note to keep an eye out for them on the way back. I had long since left the trail and instead was following the space left between trees.

There was light up ahead and I wanted to reach that point before I turned back. The closer I got the more curious I was. Was it a summit? Or maybe I had just circled around back to my neighborhood?

I broke through the trees and stood there blinking, my eyes having to adjust to the sudden brightness.

I had stumbled onto a clearing of tall grass, bunches of delicate wildflowers sprinkled the area in luscious bunches, seeming to float on the waves of grass. The wind gently rolled through their blades as I made my way into the clearing.

Tentatively, I took a step into it. all around me the tree’s branches rustled with a firm gust of wind, and I could feel the accumulated stress I had been carrying begin to melt away. I closed my eyes, and stretched my arms out to feel their energy as they basked in the sun, I continued my slow march, following the winding path of positive energy.
I didn’t have to open my eyes to know that I stood at the center of it now. Not moving, I basked in the ray’s for alittle longer, inhaling the sweet smell of grass in the sun before falling back into its pillowy tufts. Admittedly the ground underneath it was nowhere near as soft. But I didn’t care.

My eyes stayed closed, It felt so nice that I ignored the tickle of grass brushing against my cheek.

I breathed in the crisp morning air that sweetened as the sun rose to heat up the day. I felt almost numb. Maybe all I needed was just a few trips out into nature to be reminded that my problems were small in the grand order of things. That there was a bigger world out there that didn’t revolve around me and what I was going through. I breathed in a large inhale.

I’d bottle this feeling if I could.

The sun had almost crested the tops of the canopy and was beginning to warm up the crisp morning air. I hated to admit it, but I shouldn’t stay up here for too long. The last thing I needed was to get too relaxed and forget the way I came up here.

The very vivid picture of me having to call Lulu to help track me down in the woods after I walked off trail for who knows how long made me abruptly sit upright.

Yeah no, that’d be mortifying.

I popped back up and blinked at the sudden brightness.

I froze stock still where I sat, for a split second I thought I saw the silhouette of a figure at the edge of the clearing. I blinked a few more times but when my eyes adjusted all I saw in the figure’s place was just the overgrown underbrush deeper within the woods. I adjusted my glasses and slowly rose to my feet.

Was I just being paranoid? Besides the sound of wind blowing through the trees everything was silent. I couldn’t hear the distant sounds of birds announcing the new day or even in alarm that someone unfamiliar was walking through the woods. I couldn’t feel anything. I clutched at the tall grass and there was a faintly distressed hum from how hard I gripped it.

The calm I looked for was entirely absent and I was only left with the foreboding sense of something that felt off. I looked around the clearing, paranoia was creeping up the back of my neck and I couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched.

Eyeing the entrance of the clearing, I crept over to the edge of the forest, as I got closer, It looked so much darker looking in than it had been when I was standing in it earlier. I spotted a tree branch and picked it up. It was awkward and unbalanced but it was better than being empty handed.

Just in case.

I used the branch to move aside some of the taller underbrush, Using the long tree branch to give me and whatever might be behind the things I was moving a wide berth.

This was ridiculous. If someone really was out here with me and they were watching me, I would’ve felt something. Even if it was a harmless case of a stranger getting curious about what someone was doing out here, I would’ve at least felt itchy.

Not to mention anything…malicious wouldn’t be something I’d be able overlook. But even though I knew this was true there was a nagging voice in the back of my head that kept whispering it’s warning. Kept trying to convince me otherwise.

My heart was pounding as I stood there gripping the tree branch with two hands.

It wasn’t impossible for me to be unable to read someone around me.

Scott was proof of that.

The hairs stood on the back of my neck as I took in a deep breath and hastily got back to the path. When the tree branch became too much of a hassle to carry, I tossed it away and booked it down the path.

I cursed the number of times I lost sight of the landmarks and almost sped right past them in the wrong direction. I was lucky enough where that didn’t happen and continued down the path at break-neck speed, my momentum building as the trail grew steeper.

Imaginary grasping hands brushed my back as I ran, and finally, my feet hit the main trail. I followed it all the way down until I stumbled barreling through the entrance of the trail back onto the park. I had to jog just to slow down enough to be sure I wouldn’t trip over my own feet.

I jogged my way back over to the flowered paths and instinctively wrapped myself in the emotions around me like an unspoken assurance that everything was going to be fine, that I was okay. I walked aimlessly down the path sampling the emotions of each person, finding normalcy in the unpredictable way they felt. The Temperate water of indifference, the buzz of excitement, weightless surprise, the sluggish haze of confusion.

Only when my feet soundly made it back to the brick-layed path of the park where people were beginning to walk their dogs and take their morning strolls could I finally breathe easy.

I jumped when my back pocket started to urgently vibrate. The unexpected sensation not connected to any emotion, completely threw me out of the trance I was in and I fumbled for my phone.

“Hello?””

“May! Finally! You picked up. Do you know how hard it is to get in contact with you?”

I didn’t have a chance to even respond before Emily barreled on. “You hadn’t been picking up so I was on my way to your house. Are you busy”?

“hey, uh no im free.”

“You are home right? Or do I need to hunt you down.”

My heart was still pounding and it took me a moment to parce out my thoughts. I took another look at my surroundings and still didn’t find anyone in pursuit. “I’m at the park,” I was getting ready to ask why when she starts up her next question.

“Oh I’m – There you are. I’m pulling up now.”’

“you’re already here? Where?”

Before I she had a chance to respond her car answered. the engine roaring to announce her arrival.

Which was going to be the only response I was going to get because it turns out the Emily had already hung up. I sighed pocketing my phone, and it made my way over to her car.

Emily screeched to a halt as she pulled in with her passenger’s side already opening before she even came to a full stop.

“get in!”

I leaned over the open doorway of the car, “Em I appreciate the enthusiasm but, I don’t feel up to hanging out today. Maybe a raincheck?”

“oh no, don’t you raincheck me! If it were up to you, we would never hang out. you’d just be sitting in your pajamas in your living room for the rest of your life.” She reaches over and gave the empty passenger’s seat a quick two pats. “now sit your cheeks down and let’s get rolling!”

I sighed. I hadn’t had the chance to just sit and hangout with Emily, with my sudden onset of attacks it feels like months ago since we even went out to that bakery. “just so you know there’s nothing wrong with that being a lifestyle.”

I climbed in and plopped down on the upholstered leather. “so where –“Emily sped off and took a sharp turn around the parking lot that made her back wheels drift and had me pressed up the door that I had just managed to close.

I scrambled to put my seatbelt on as she wove through the few law-abiding drivers on the road. “Stars! I forgot you drove like a Nascar driver who just downed a handle of alcohol.”

“stars? You’re starting to sound like sans!” she says over the wind whipping through her open window.

“uh yeah, Lulu-“ emily crossed the double yellow to pass a car and managed to get back over before the oncoming car front ended us and I had to take a deep breath and not look at the road. I turned to her instead of thinking about possible death by big hunk of rolling metal. “Lulu uses it when she likes my baking or as an expletive, it sort of-” the car jerked. “Stuck.”

Emily made a scoffing noise in the back of her throat but otherwise she didn’t respond.

“so where are we headed?” I ask, trying to distract myself from the road.

“to my place.”

My stomach clenched. I wasn’t ready to go somewhere so saturated in secondhand emotions so soon. It had only been a few days since my last attack, and I wasn’t ready for another. Not if I could help it.

Bad driver or not, Emily’s eyes stayed locked firmly on the road, so she remained completely oblivious to the internal screaming that was going on in the passenger’s seat. I didn’t know how to broach the subject of maybe going anywhere else but there without making it seem like I didn’t want to spend time with her.

“hey I-“

“nice! Record time!”

I took in our surroundings to see that we had just turned on the road the lead up to the apartment complexes where she lives. My lips pressed into a firm line, in resignation. I was just going to have to suck it up and deal with it, spend an hour or two and talk with her and then leave. Emily wanted to hang out, she hasn’t been free for a while now this is the least, I could do.

We pull up to the apartment building and Emily slows considerably. Enough to where the average passerby that didn’t recognize her cherry red car would think that she wasn’t evil incarnate on the road. But to someone like me who knew better, she cared more about her shocks going over speed bumps than the wellbeing of her passengers .

“Emily, I love you. But please remind me to use my own car next time.” I plead.

“hey, you say that but look how quick we got here!” she gestured in front of her with the heels of her hands resting on the steering wheel. “they say time is money and in this car I’m technically saving you money.” She said matter-of-factly.

“yeah sure, what you’re really doing is burning gas AND years off my life all at once.”

Emily just shrugs as she pulls into a parking space. “It’s efficient.”

She hops out of the car and grabs her purse, and I followed suit happy to be out of that death trap.

The feeling of freedom was short lived though, because in front of me sat a bigger issue. On the top floor of the apartment building was where Emily lived, and as we climbed the stairs, I tried to steel myself against the onslaught of some intense emotions. We stood in front of the door while she unlocked it using her phone.

That was new.

Turns out that wasn’t the only thing that she’s changed since the last time I’ve been here. The muted earthy tones and mixed textiles on the once cream-colored couch was now fluffy faux fur throw blankets on a deep hot pink crushed velvet love seat. Even the small upholstered bench that had a home by the door was now substituted for a day bed loaded up with throw blankets. I noted the gold trimmed coffee table and over used brassy gold accents everywhere where there wasn’t fur and inwardly cringed.

It was like a barbie dream house on crack.

Emily was kicking off her shoes when caught me staring and smiled probably thinking my surprise was because I thought it looked great, rather than disappoint her and her believed interior decorating skills I gave her a feigned smile and came in the rest of the way.

She turned from me and plopped down in the love seat, rummaging around for something off the side of the couch where I couldn’t see. I set my shoes by the door and hesitantly and followed to sit next to her.

I expected the on coming shock of the usual invasive afterimages of the emotions to hit me like a truck but I was pleasantly surprised when, it was only a slight wave of disorientation and not a battering of the usual intense vertigo.

I let out a small sigh of relief.

There was a small sound like a small door closing and Emily turns to me with a can of chilled wine and holds one out to me. She probably had a wine chiller hooked up since I’ve been here. I shook my head and she shrugged, settling into a comfortable spot with the can.

“alright,”

“alright?”

“may, come on no more stalling!”

“I’m not stalling.”

“oh my god do I have to spell it out? I want to know how it went!” Emily’s eyes were wide and her abundant expectation made my body stiffen.

Another thing I wasn’t ready to do today was talk about Scott, but I should’ve known this was this was about. “It was only a visit Emily it wasn’t like something ‘magical’ happened.” I air quoted.

Emily groaned “come on don’t give me that, you’re going to keep beating around the bush.”

I scooted deeper into the seat wanting to curl up into the corner of it.

“I just went to see him Emily, nothing else happened.”

“Nothing?” there was a teasing trill to Emily’s voice. “not even some- “ she made a stupid finger-sex gesture and I slapped her hand.

“ ow!” she mock rubbed her hand as if I had actually slapped it that hard.

“don’t act like you didn’t see that coming making hand gestures like that”

“I mean I did, but my poor fingies.” Emily pouted. “whatever! You love it when I joke around with you.” She recovered quickly, her shit eating grin was back and any sign of remorse was gone and forgotten about.

“that’s what you think!” I huffed.

I thought about what I wanted to tell her. or better yet, what I could tell her. it wasn’t like I could talk to her about me being worried about him being with someone else. She’d ask me why I thought he was and… well I didn’t have a concrete reason besides ‘I felt like he is’, plus I could still be wrong and I didn’t want to drag him through the mud off of a loose speculation.

I huffed out a breath. I could just focus on the good stuff. It’s what she wants to hear anyway. “I mean there’s not much to tell, we had tea together like usual, we talked.”

Emily nodded, and cracked open her bubbly wine.

“I was wearing this dress and, I don’t know what I was thinking. I started flirting with him and he said,”

Emily gestured for me to go on.

My face heated at the memory. And I mumbled the words, they tingled on my lips as I forced them out.

“what?” her eyes were wider now and she leaned in.

This time I managed to say it barely at speaking volume. “that, he wouldn’t do anything unless I asked him to.”

“and did you ask him to?”

I shook my head. My face was so hot that someone could probably cook an egg on my forehead. I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my head in them.

There was a silence, I didn’t look up as I stewed and then out of nowhere

‘THWUMP’

My head rocked to the side and my hair flew into my mouth

“puh-hey what!” I tried to say three things at once as I was battered with a jumbo pillow roll.

“you cant just make that face!” ‘thuwmp’ “and not have had anything happen oh my god!”

“hey don’t beat me to death with your throw pillows, I don’t know where they’ve been!”

“up my ass.” she said off handedly getting one more smack in to the back of my head for good measure.

“but continue.”

I fixed my shirt, and took a moment to get my hair our of my mouth. It should be easier to talk about now that my earlier bashfulness had literally been beaten out of me. “I fell asleep on his couch because I was too…” she trailed off “overwhelmed to stay with him in his bed.”

“boo!”

“um and he sort of offered to do more, if I was willing.”

“and were you?”

“um… I mean sort of. He definitely made it tempting, don’t think he meant to but he had gotten out of the shower and he was-“ my voice pitched higher and I had to swallow to try to get it back to normal. When that didn’t feel like a solution, I took a second to control my breathing which I hadn’t realized was way too fast for a casual conversation.

Emily waited for me to continue, and when I didn’t she groaned.

“and??”

I shook my head deciding that I didn’t have to go into every detail. Nothing happened. “well that was it. Scott had to go to school, and I wasn’t ready for that sort of thing yet.” I said quickly.

There was a beat and then all at once Emily’s curiosity flared. It was like throwing gasoline on a fire. It reached out and licked at me, like I was standing too close to an incinerator. The couch I was sitting on was no longer mildly disorienting and instantaneously felt like standing on the bow of a boat while it was trying to navigate in the middle of a hurricane.

My stomach lurched.

Emily’s emotions raged between each other, the normal itchy curiosity felt hot, like I had dove into a poison ivy pit and had just scratched myself raw.

“May, you know how we’ve been friends for a long time?”

I nodded not knowing what my voice would sound like if I spoke.

“what’s holding you back?”

“huh?”

“I know you say you aren’t ready and whatever, but I don’t see how it’s a big deal.”

There was a flicker of sharp-edged irritation that didn’t reflect in her voice. But it was there, it left stinging papercuts along my palms.

I bit my cheek. And looked up catching the slightest prolonged second of eye contact. It was just enough for her irritation to influence me too.

“Emily what is your problem!” I snapped. “ why does it matter so much to you if I decide I want to give up something that’s mine so badly? Why does if ‘I have or haven’t’ got to be almost all we talk about lately?”

“you don’t ask me if I’m okay? Or how I’m feeling! I haven’t even had a chance to talk to you in like a week and you show up out of the blue to just go ‘may is your cherry popped yet’” I huffed and shut my eyes and focused on sorting my own emotions from hers, until I felt a little more in control of my own emotions. When I finally opened them I wished the ground would open up and swallow me.

I didn’t mean to say all of that, I know that Emily gets busy and she just gets…excited and she doesn’t mean for things to come off the way they do.

“Emily im sorry I didn’t me-“

“may, listen. Im going to be honest. “

Emily’s bubbly demeanor slides away and any hint of a smile or humor is gone. She takes a swig from the can and sets it down and turns to me.

“me and you have been friends for a long time. But me and scott have known each other since we were kids. We don’t talk about our parents often but they raised us around each other.”

I didn’t follow where she was going with this.

“we always talk about our relationships and our breakups and well, everything.”

“I know what he’s like in his relationships, and I care about you. To be blunt I’ve seen Scott in a lot of relationships, and they usually end for two reasons. Either because he gets bored of the girls who’re just infatuated with him or because he gets tired of waiting for something to happen.”

I opened my mouth to defend him but, didn’t that make sense? Could I honestly say that wasn’t the case?

I sunk back into the couch. We barely talk anymore, let alone see each other. Even before my phone shattered his texts had gotten pretty sparse.

“I care about both of you, and it might come off as overstepping boundaries, but I’m just worried about losing two friends at once or have to pick a side later.”. Her features were as cold as the fury that she was lit with. Cold flames that stole the heat out of the room and had me feeling frost bitten and numb. There was a long pause then she abruptly changed the subject picking her can of wine back up.

“plus, honestly the warning signs are starting to pop up. Usually when he starts pulling away from the relationship, he’ll call me at some point and complain about not having a connection or something and then about a week after that he calls it quits. “

“do you really think that he’d just end it just because of that?” my voice was nothing more than a sad whisper.

She watched my features and another flick of cold heat whipped at me. I had to work the numbness out of my fingers. “to be fair you are the longest lasting partner he’s had. But if infatuation was the issue, he would have dumped you the first week that you guys got together. He knows that you aren’t after anything from him, but this is the longest he’s gone without you know.” She makes a sweeping hand gesture in a vague wave.

it was the first time she broached sex as a topic without being blunt. Maybe out of sensitivity for the topic at hand.

This was a lot to take in. Sure, I had always figured that Scott wasn’t a virgin but to hear that yes he’s had confirmed partners, and from the sounds of it he’s had multiple. No doubt more experienced than me. It didnt help that Emily knew all of this and I’ve dated him for almost three years and the topic was never broached.

I already felt inadequate before but now I just felt… like I wasn’t enough. I don’t think that just by doing one thing id be able to magically mend whatever was going on in our relationship and this conversation didn’t really change that. but…

Even though I knew that, there was still that doubt. That maybe it would help.

“since we’re talking on a more serious note, could I ask you a question.”

She held the wine in her mouth and then swallowed giving a cautious nod .“sure.”

“has that ever worked, you know for you?”

“what?” the word was slow, and deliberate.

“well, I mean. You have more experience in relationships.”

Emily stared at me for a long time.

“are you asking me if fucking someone keeps them around longer?”

There was a bite in her question that I wasn’t expecting. Was she angry at me? Was the rage she was feeling because of me? I thought that she was angry about how Scott was treating me but was that not it?

“uh, I mean not all your break ups are because of that right so I was just,”

“May, it’s not like I have a spreadsheet of how and why guys decide to leave or how many were assholes.”

“im not trying to offend you! It’s just, I wanted to know if it did help or how long did it take till- ”

“it just find it funny how it’s an issue for you when I ask you personal questions but when you want to it’s just fine.”

“huh?” what was she talking about. “you don’t have to answer I wasn’t trying to pry but I thought we were talking about relationships and-“

“yeah we are talking about relationships! We’re talking about yours and Scotts. No one said anything about mine.”

“Emily why are you so angry? We don’t have to-“

“You either do or you don’t. May I cant tell you that fucking a guy is going to make him want to keep you around.” She spat the word fucking at me like it was a bad taste in her mouth. “okay?” she says a little too loud.

“but you’ve been telling me for a while now that it would.” This was coming out of nowhere, her rage had been cold but now it veered on the edge of malice and was oozing out of her like a infected wound, it was slow and overflowing. I had to fight the urge to back away. Had what I said really affected her that much that she hated me?

“don’t you think that I’m tired of trying to help you two both out? That I’m tired of being between you two, and keep things together. You said that I don’t ask you how you’re doing. Ever thought about asking me how I’m doing may?”

There were a lot of questions in there, but one thing stuck out. “Me? Em, I text and call you all the time and you never pick up. How am I supposed to call and ask how you’re doing if all I get is your voicemail!”

“I have bigger things to do than to check my voicemail all day. And so does Scott!”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I stood up, almost stumbling when the vertigo I all but forgot about turned one leg into jelly before I caught myself.

“it means that maybe he’s tired of having a phone relationship and wants a real one and I’m done trying to hint around enough for it to get through you thick skull.”

It was taking everything in me to fight against the grip of her emotions, but it was quickly becoming a losing battle. If I slipped any further things might turn violent. I latched onto whatever other emotions I had but with were quickly slipping away.

“Well, no one asked you to play match maker. I’m so sorry if the job you gave yourself is so taxing Emily. Maybe if you put as much work into your own relationships then you wouldn’t burn through them like they were chewing gum. Take one guy, chew out all of the good qualities until you’re done and then THEY spit YOU out.”

She stands up. “I bet it feels good to not have to pretend anymore huh. I bet deep down you’ve been thinking about this for a while. ‘oh im so much better than Emily because im pure’ and shit”

“where did you even get that from? When I have I ever- you know what no. I’m not doing this.” I turned to go get my shoes.

“Yeah I know what ELSE you’re not doing.”

I spun on her. Her rage and self-loathing was vicious, caustic and it cannibalized any emotion that wasn’t that until it grew into something ugly and uncontainable. I couldn’t contain the words that bubbled up or the venom behind them.

The words left my lips with a rapid-fire heat that only built-up momentum the longer I spoke.

“Maybe if you could’ve pulled your blonde head out of your bleached ass then maybe I would’ve told you that hey, I was attacked. Or hey I'm going through stuff. But no, all you can worry about is ‘I don’t want to pick between the both of you’ when really you’ve already chosen him.”

I stood looming over her where she sat and jabbed a finger into her chest. Emily gaped, her shock almost being enough to help me see my way through all this rage. Almost.

“Ever think about how maybe I’m tired of having to babysit you when DICK couldn’t solve your problems. Maybe a DICK can knock the silver spoon that you were born with, out of your mouth, or better yet! once sans isn’t repulsed by you maybe you can ask HIM to do it for you!”

My finger jabbed her in the chest every time I used that word she was so fond of.

I turned away from her and put my shoes back on. I heard clipped steps quickly approaching and I turned around just in time for Emily to splash me with the leftover contents of her wine.

I hissed a breath through my teeth.

I snatched a throw blanket off the daybed next to the door and sloppily wiped it all over my face and shirt, it wasn’t even a real attempt of drying off it was just to get the wine on the heavy blanket. I threw it at her and got a satisfying sputter of exasperation before I slammed the door behind me.

Chapter Text

The sun that was now overhead, took pleasure in taking its sweet time baking the red wine into the fibers of my linen top. As I strode down the sidewalk my own anger grew as the stain began to dry directly onto my skin in a tacky uncomfortable mess.

This was ridiculous. I hadn’t realized just how far this walk would be, but considering Emily had drove at Mach five down neighborhood roads, it wasn’t surprising we had gotten to her apartment so quickly. what I hadn’t accounted for was, even though I knew her neighborhood and I knew mine, I wasn’t familiar with the three or maybe four neighborhoods I had to pass through to get to either.

I glanced down at my phone where I had my GPS telling me that yes, I was going in the right direction, yes it’d be miles until I got home, and no there wasn’t a shorter route.

Fighting the urge to throw my phone, or a fit, or both I slept it instead and continued my march.

The malice that had permeated Emily earlier hadn’t completely subsided from the nape of my neck or the way it clung to me like leaches and thick mud.

I swiped at my skin irritably, what was her problem? It was such a 180 from how she had been feeling only a moment before.

I went over what I had said to her before the stark shift in her emotions and I couldn’t figure it out.

If I was really being honest, I was irritated with myself.

Shouldn’t I have a better handle on my emotions?

I bit the inside of my cheek. What I said to her was a twisted amalgamation of intrusive thoughts that I never would have let pass my lips in a thousand years. It felt like hate. Like all the bitter things stockpiled and hoarded to dump on someone you really despised.

But I loved Emily, even if she has her quirks. Even if she did some questionable things in high school. We grew to overcome that.

I could feel the crease between my brows deepening. And I stubbornly rubbed at the ache there.

But what she was putting off really did feel like hate.

Did she hate me? Was this really because she felt like my relationship was coming between us three I-

Damn it.

I paused briefly to pull the itchy sticky patched of cloth away from my skin. UGH. I pulled my phone out and all but cursed. I missed a turn and was going the wrong way. I rounded the block until I was back on the right path again.

That was the third time that had happened.

I looked up at the sky. The sun was trying to set now. It looks like it got tired of baking me alive and was taking a break. Which would be great if I didn’t have to make the rest of the trip in total darkness.

A shadow of earlier rage passed through me at the thought of having to stumble through unfamiliar neighborhood’s with nothing but my phone flashlight to guide me.

I just wanted to get home, shower, and get this damn shirt off. Next time I wouldn’t go hangout around people if I cant handle my own problems. If I had just been firmer with Emily maybe things wouldn’t have gotten so out of hand. I could’ve just been honest with myself and told her that we could see each other in a few days.

I stopped in my tracks. Who was I kidding?

Would things have been any different? Even I hadn’t been so out of sorts, the way Emily was looking at me it was easy to see that this was something that had been pent up for a long time. Plus, she didn’t have a reason to lie.

Things have been getting worse for a while now and-

My eyes started watering and I let out a exasperated groan. Great now I’m crying. I took off my glasses to wipe them away, but all I succeeded in was smearing them across my face. I pulled the collar of my top up to get the rest, forgetting about the half dried wine until it made contact with my face.

Ugh.

I Put my glasses back on and doubled my pace. I needed to get home it was starting to get dark and I wanted to be alone. Truly alone. I was walking so fast I would’ve missed it if I hadn’t glimpsed the wide-open space I was passing by.

a park.

I didn’t hesitate, id stay for a few minutes and continue my way home. That’s what I told myself, but all I really wanted was to lose myself somewhere far enough away where my choices didn’t matter. Where my problems felt small enough to forget about.

The paths didn’t look as well kept or as pristine as the one by my house, but I didn’t even second guess striding right through the entrance. I had a one tracked mind and that was to calm down enough to think straight.

There was enough light overhead where I could spare a few minutes before getting back to my long trek home.

A break would help.

I didn’t slow, but I had enough time to register that the few people here at the park sitting on benches too far away for me to make out anything but their figures, were feeling very calm. Tranquil even.

There weren’t even any flowers to help brighten my mood. Not that would even help right now.

There was some untended to woods in the back, and the mountain range loomed in the distance. A part of me wondered if one park was inspired by the other, or maybe there were more parks I didn’t know about in this area sprinkled around the base of the mountains here.

The paths in the back weren’t maintained, but the walkways were much wider and clearly distinct.

Distinct enough where I barely had to pay any attention to follow them as I stormed down them, following the over head humming street lamps that sporadically lit my path as the sun began to throw its final colors into the sky above.

I continued down forks that led me deeper and deeper in deciding that this was far enough.

I Threw my head back and yelled..

I didn’t stop until my throat was hoarse and I was panting to catch my breath

But this wasn’t the time for breathing technique. I, snatched at shrubs and yanked them out of the ground using my whole body to cause as much destruction to anything and everything, thrashing and kicking. With all the fighting I was doing the plants fought back just as much, catching my hair and firmly tangling it between spiny branches.

The offending shrub got de-rooted and chucked somewhere into the unlit woods. Taking a few strands with it.

I jettisoned a few good-sized rocks down the path with kicks that were wound so far back I practically felt my heel hit my back.

I kicked the tree who’s roots intruded on part of the path and was met with a sharp pang of pain.

I hopped on one foot hissing.

“What did I even expect!!?” I yelled to no one in particular. oh my god did I break a toe? Did I break all of them? Ughhh.

I let out another exasperated groan. It didn’t rival my earlier yell but it was definitely in the same wheelhouse.

When the pain subsided, I finally felt like me. Like I had worked out all of the negative emotions that had clung to me all day and could finally think clearly.

Feelings stuck when it was someone I cared about. Especially negative ones. It’d been so long since someone I was close to felt like that, even longer since it was directed right at me.

Thank the stars Emily hadn’t felt truly malicious.

I looked at the damaged I caused and frowned. I picked up the biggest shrub that laid on the path and tried to sit it upright in what I believed to be the hole it came from.

I watched as it stood in place for all of a second before it fell over in a leafy ‘poomf’.

“ sorry,” I mumbled down at it as the signs of energy it had dulled infinitesimally.

I stood there for a moment, really taking account of the mess I made before flinching and looking into the woods. I searched the shadows there for movement.

There was a deep sense of curiosity and a perverted sense of glee coming from nearby. I couldn’t even tell from where, it was so strong. All I knew was that it wasn’t good and was usually the type of thing that announced the arrive of bad things.

“why cant I just be left alone!”

I wiped my hand down my face, as if I could wipe away some of the fatigue before squaring my shoulders and standing alittle taller.

“I know you’re there!”

All I could feel now was surprise, before their curiosity multiplied ten fold. There was a defeating silence for an unbearably long time while I waited. Before I heard a casual chuckle from nearby.

“I wasn’t trying to startle you,” an awkward voice came from further down the trail, I swiveled to face it. A dozen yards away a gangly human wearing a black hoodie and a hiking backpack began casually walking to wards me.

He wasn’t at all nervous for a person that sounded so awkward. His glee rose as he approached and I could feel the intent to do harm prickle on my skin like the first frozen rain drops in winter.

“ listen, I’m having a long day, you’re not approaching me with good intentions, and I’m armed.”

The man was nonplussed and was still approaching, keeping a casual pace but all it really was large animal stalking towards prey.

“we could make each other’s day better.” Lust intermingled with his jaw-achingly sweet, vile saccharine intent gave away just what exactly ‘better’ was for him.

“it’s obvious you have murder on your mind.” I fought the vile grin that quirked at the edges of my lips. Forcing a frown rather than allow even that to succumb the the growing want as he approached.

“I promise your day is going to get a lot worse if you get any closer.” I hated how strained my voice came out. Making it very obvious how much effort it took for me to focus enough to say it.

He stopped his approach, his curiosity overwhelming the desire for something darker for a moment. I couldn’t see his face under the hood he had up but I could feel his eyes roaming me. Appraising me as an opponent.

Even with an act like murder being repulsive on an instinctive level, if he continued to approach me and if it got any more intense, I don’t know if id get sucked into the same mind set. My head was already swimming with vile thoughts of how id attack him if he got close enough, if I could reach him what id do, how id-

I clench my fists. I was trembling with a want that wasn’t mine.

No doubt he noticed and misread my restraint as fear, because he continued on his approach. If only now he was walking faster. He took pride in what he was doing, he felt elated. I was elated. He was getting closer. My hand closed around the item in my back pocket already thinking of what I’d do. It wouldn’t do much but it might stop me from doing something I might regret. My eyes locked onto the glint of the item he was pulling out of his pocket as he loomed over me.

I saw the glint of silver under the street light as he pulled something from his pocket. He was only a short few feet away as he loomed over me where I was rooted in place.

Chapter Text

I stepped out of the planetarium into the fresh air, squinting at the difference in brightness. The sun was in all of its golden glory right now, rivalling the warm glow of the lava that illuminated hot land.

I didn’t wait for my eyes to adjust all the way before I made my way to the side walk, crossing the parking lot that was always empty, that is except for my car and the brat’s that mans the front desk.

I was about to get into my car when my eyelights flicked up to movement in my peripheral. It was a human walking down the side walk in a brisk clipped pace. I squinted, my sight finally adjusting to the new lighting, and I had to keep from cursing under my breath.

It was fucking may.

Given, she hadn’t noticed me and was storming down the sidewalk as if she were on a mission to beat someone’s ass. I took a final glance at my car. Why was she always where I was? She was like the shittiest individual to have to tail. A part of me wanted to believe that I was the one being tailed because she was always on my fucking heels.

Did I really need to know what she was up to?

Could I go home and crawl into bed? I watched her figure slowly growing more distant and sighed. I would be up thinking about what she had been up to all day making a face like that. I closed my car door, shoving my car keys into my pockets. My magic was good enough for a few transports but it’d still be good to keep some distance just to be safe.

It was about to be dusk now and may was striding down the sidewalk like she was about to go set fire to a building with her look alone.I just needed to know where she was headed. Then I could head home.

Maybe she was headed to meet someone? I eyed her for clues and spotted a pink stain that seeped through her top, which she occasionally lifted away from her skin as if it were a leech she was having a hard time removing.

More than likely she was coming from an encounter of some kind.

Was she mad because of the stain? It wasn’t that bad, the shirt was definitely ruined but it wasn’t like it looked embarrassing or anything. Just sort of looks like a poorly done tiedye.

Maybe I was just over thinking things could this just be a case of resting bitch face gone awry?

she was so preoccupied with her own anger that I got more comfortable following her. More casual. Every few minutes or so she would stop dead in her tracks to look down at her phone and then adjust her course.

I didn’t have to do much, I just followed her from across the street, and for a dozen or so blocks she didn’t notice. Which to be honest, was more concerning than if she had responded with some evasive maneuvers to throw me off . Either she was putting on a show of not knowing I was here or she was just really oblivious.

That sounded too good to be true. I wasn’t even attempting to conceal myself.

The longer I followed her the farther back I hung, and the less comfortable I got.

Where was she even coming from. She lived almost two miles from here, and we’ve been walking for a while. Plus she hasn’t been taking the main streets and seems to be avoiding the more commercial areas. In fact, we were the only two here. It was just a lot of houses, and land and a barely maintained sidewalk.

May stopped and let out a frustrated groan. All I could see of her from this angle now was her back. She took off her glasses and I could see her rubbing her face with the backs of her palms. And then the heels of her hands before wiping them on her ruined shirt.

She continued walking, this time faster. Then when I wasn’t expecting it she darted into the entrance of a park. I walked up slow. Making sure that I wouldn’t be seen by her. the problem with following her was that there were a lot more open spaces and not a lot of cover if I didn’t want to be spotted.

I looked at the horizon where the last vestiges of sunlight were being eked out.

I eyed where she had disappeared to and felt a trickle of unease.

Why another park?

It couldn’t be a coincidence that she’s led me to a park twice.

It was dark enough where I could maybe get by if I skirted around like last time. The trees here weren’t as closely packed together as I would’ve liked but it was enough to do what I needed it to.
There was a bike and jogging trail that seemed to weave through the foliage and the more substantial trees before splitting off into more trails. I was able to walk on the bike trail where the denser parts of the woods kept me hidden from her line of sight.

Every few yards there would be a measly street lamp, most too old to put out any real light and other’s that didn’t work all together.

She continued walking down her path, following the forks that lead to even more secluded areas deeper within. If she continued on this path, then at some point they would link up to the hiking trails that lead to the mountain.

Was she looking for something?

Then her frustrated yell pierced the silence of the park.

I bristled and froze where I stood readying myself for anything that might happen.

But instead of an attack made on me, she burst into a mess of thrashing limbs and kicks. she tore at the underbrush. Or Anything within her reach.

I untensed as I watched to the wild display. What the actual fuck?

She tore a shrub out of the ground and fought with it when it decided it was going to cling to her hair. She kicked rocks sending them down the trail. She even thought it was a good idea to kick a tree at some point.

“What did I even expect!!?” she yelled to no one in particular. Hopping on one foot.

She lets out one more exasperated groan, loud enough where it made sense for her to want to come out here. No one would hear her out here. she picked up the shrub that she had torn out of the ground almost mournfully and haphazardly tried to put it back in the hole it was torn from. She watched helplessly as it stood for all of a second before flopping back over onto the trail.

“ sorry,” she mumbled to the plant as if it actually had feelings.

She stood there for a moment before her head perked up. She looked out into the darkness, back down the trail she was on. I crouched some just in case she could see me. It was early evening now but I didn’t want to take any chances.

“why cant I just be left alone!” she bemoaned.

She wiped her hand down her face before squaring her shoulders and standing alittle taller.

“I know you’re there!”

I stiffened. She knew I was here? Should I confront her? no, I’ve already did that once and that didn’t turn out so well. She hasn’t done anything but skulk around and be suspicious but if something happens to her and papyrus smells her on me then it could be an issue if all I have to show for it is “she was acting shady”

I decided that until she addressed me specifically I’d hold my ground. She wasn’t even looking in my specific vicinity. For all I knew she just felt paranoid and was seeing if anyone was around.

There was a silence charged with anticipation, and everything was still.

“I wasn’t trying to startle you,” the voice came from further down the trail, May swiveled to face it. A dozen yards away a gangly human wearing a black hoodie began casually walking towards her.

“ listen, Im having a long day, you’re not approaching me with good intentions, and I’m armed.” Her words were strained as she continued to speak. As if she had to force out each word through clenched teeth.

The man was nonplussed and was still approaching, keeping a casual pace as if he weren’t feeling like a large animal stalking towards prey.

“we could make each other’s day better.” He said off handedly.

“it’s obvious you have murder on your mind.” She lets out a long breath like it took the energy out of her to even have to say the words. “ I promise your day is going to get a lot worse if you get any closer.”

The man stops mid step as if shocked that not only the topic was put so bluntly or that it was even being brought up at all. He tilted his head and looked her over more expectantly.

If she han’t been shaking then he might’ve considered turning away, instead all it did was spur him on.
She didn’t look like any form of threat. Even if she felt true intent to harm this human it wouldn’t do her any good like it would on us. She wouldn’t stand a chance if he actually meant to harm her.

He started approaching faster but May didn’t move. She was reaching into her pocket. To do what I don’t know.

I saw the glint of a sliver of metal from his hoodie pocket as he passed by another streetlamp.

The knife was unmistakable, my soul clenched at the sight of it and I ported onto the trail behind her and stepped into the streetlight where he could see me. Less then ten yards from May the attacker stopped.

In that short time of me porting to the path I was briefly back in that corridor, I blinked. I hadn’t realized that I had begun putting out my magic. I worked to contain it before it got out of hand. I focused on the would be attackers face.

Only, I couldn’t see it under their hood. But I knew they could see me. All seven feet of me. They faltered. The gleam of metal was gone.

They pretended like I wasn’t there, opting to not make my presence known. “don’t look so scared, it was just a joke. There are worse things out here than me.” He turns, and even though I cant see their face I can feel then shoot one last glance my way as If he was acknowledging that she was already spoken for.

When he was gone. I stepped out of the light to port back on the bike trail, feeling disgusted. I had the sick feeling that that creep assumed that I was out here stalking…prey. I clenched my fists. I guess that was a half truth.

But more importantly what the fuck did she think she was doing. She should have ran. Should’ve called for help. Not that calling for help would’ve done anything this deep into the woods. What was I doing even? If I hadn’t been here then she would’ve still been back here by herself. Things would’ve ran it’s course.

I stayed on the bike trail while she dry heaved into the bushes. Nothing came up, but it still took her a moment to catch her breath. “stars I hate malice, I’d rather drink sewage than feel that again.” she said to herself out of breath.

The fuck was that supposed to mean, was she some sort of pacifist? If she was it’d make my life easier at least.

She turned and started sprinting back the way she came, this time holding whatever she had been reaching for in her pocket.

I walked her back, watching to make sure that the human didn’t come back.

I don’t understand. Did she want to get herself killed? Did she think that he would’ve just go ‘im intimidated by the five foot woman that looks like she lifts pillows for a living’ and leave? She just stood her ground and hoped for the best.

Or maybe the thing she was holding really was a weapon, and she did have plans for fighting back. May made it to the mouth of the trail, but she kept sprinting until she was back on the sidewalk. Only then did she slow to a walk to catch her breath. I ported to a good distance behind her, and began walking up to her.

“I told you to back off-“ she spun and sprayed me right in the face.

She gets a good spray in before her eyes went wide “oh! Oh my stars!” her hands were fumbling and she was trying to apologize five different ways all at once. “im so sorry I know I don’t like you and you don’t like me but I swear I didn’t mean to..”

I just blinked and wipesd the moisture from my face looking down at her confused. “whats water supposed’t do.” I asked as I swiped my cheek with my sleeve. I sniffed. “water that smells like tabasco sauce.

“it’s uh pepper spray…its supposed to blind attackers.” Shes looking down at the canister, no doubt wondering if its effective.

“yeah guess it doesn’t work, on account of the no eyes n all.” I gave it another whiff and shrugged. “whats got you so antsy?”

I ask as I start walking. May hesitates, but I catch her looking back at the mouth of the trail before jogging to catch up.

“I just had a…concerning encounter? I guess.” She crossed her arms over her chest and offers a morose laugh. “had things gone a little different I would’ve looked like you sprawled out on a trail no one frequents.”

I remember vividly just how bad it could’ve been if it had been different.

It was silent for a beat, “ sorry, that was rude. Im just shaken up and…”

I shrugged. It wasn’t the worst I’ve heard. “you get one good jab free, the next one you gotta pay for.” I say, stopping her from trailing into apologizes I didn’t want to listen to.

“how much?” she asks. It was supposed to be a joke, but she wasn’t able to put the right amount of enthusiasm into it that the joke needed.

“ten gold,” I said offhandedly.

“wow the price is so low. What is this a fire sale?”

“wouldn’t you know it, we’re actually liquidating our assets. All fucks must go. Final fuck given at the low price of fifty gold.”

“wow those are so hard to come by now adays.” She says continuing the bit.

It falls quiet between us for a while.

Then she says. “The woods here are so different the ones at home.”

“aren’t they all the same? Trees plant bugs and shit?”

That got a dry chuckle out of her. “well sure. But I could walk around where I lived and it felt safe, here it’s like.. I dunno.”

“to be fair ya sorta are ina rough area right now. Drug deals and the like go on in that park you were coming outta.”

She glancing up at me, cutting me a dubious look.
“really?”

“yup. Sometimes if you walk though it late at night there’ll be a few people strung out on one thing or another.”

She seemed to be considering this. “then why were you at the park?”

“oh, I was out buying hardcore drugs obviously.”

She gave me a skeptical look, and rolled her eyes.

“nah I work near by and pop through to see if any monsters kids are getting mugged before I head home.”

She looks me over as if considering that “youre not joking.”

“that Im patrolling or that it actually happens?”

“I dunno, both? people are mugging kids?”

“humans do yeah.”

May stops in her tracks. I was expecting a defense, or some sort of justification but instead all I could see was the dumbfounded expression on her face “What. Why?”

It was my turn to look dumbfounded. Was this an act? How does anyone not know about the tensions between humans and monsters. “you’re human aint ya, shouldn’t you tell me?”

May blinks at me, then her eyebrows come together. Like shes trying to piece it together. “that’s…” she looked disturbed by the idea but didn’t look like she was putting too much thought into it either.

She continues walking and so do I.

“Today, really is a long day.”

“I feel that.” I look down at her downtrodden expression, “where ya headed from?”

She looked up at me, exhausted. “From Emily’s.”

“wait hold up, Emily’s.” I gestured behind us. “Like the Emily we both know.”

“yup that’s the one.”

“don’t bullshit me that’s like five miles from here.” I pointed to where I was standing.

She nods.

“The fuck why are you walking, why didn’t she give you a ride or something.”

“we sorta had an argument.”

I eyed her ruined shirt.

Her eyes followed mine and she gave me a pitiful one shoulder shrug . “yeah this was her parting gift.”

“she really likes throwing her food doesn’t she.”

“you too?”

“don’t get me started.”

Well that explained some things, I’d be heated too if I had to walk all day to get home.

“I could call papyrus to come pick us up.” I offered. I don’t know what I was doing but she looked like a limp noodle now that her initial rage had burned out.

“what happened to not wanting to be friends.”

“more like papyrus would kill me if I left you out here alone, armed only with a half empty hot sauce water.”

she looked skeptical at best and didn’t know if saying yes was the right answer.

“we can go right back to pretending neither of us exist when we both get home.”

“sure, but only if you stop calling it hot sauce water.”

I pulled out my phone. And called paps. “jalepeno juice?” It was ringing.

“that sounds oddly gross.”

“ghost pepper squirter”

“are you just gunna name off all the peppers?”

“Habenero how bout no bro”

She cracked a smile just as papyrus picked up. “heya bro,”

“DO NOT ‘HEYA’ ME SANS, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN-“

“May is with me.”

“oh.”

“we were hoping we could catch a ride, I’ll explain when I get home.”

“WHERE AM I PICKING YOU UP.”

I looked around for a marker, “were both walking down Sandia street,”

“WHAT’S MAY DOING ON SANDIA?? THEY FOUND A BODY OVER TWO BLOCKS DOWN FROM THERE A MONTH AGO!”

I could hear the skid of tires, and someone blaring their horn.

“yeah paps, I know. Maybe don’t mention that.”

“RIGHT.”

The line goes dead and I hung up.

May keeps my pace and we kept walking. It was silent for a long while, except for the trudging of feet over the sidewalk. I glanced over at her and saw that she was looking straight up at the sky. I glanced up briefly before returning my sights to straight ahead. I wasn’t ready for that yet.

“thank you.” She says.

“no skin off my back,” I shrugged.

“more like no calcium off your uh, spine?”

I raised the arch of my brow at her.

“puns come faster when im not dead on my feet.”

“Sure beats the alternative though.”

She nods, and another beat of silence begins to grow into awkwardness.
“also, im sorry for the misunderstanding that happened that night. Lulu explained what I did wrong.” She blurts out.

She wouldn’t let us just walk in silence. I might as well humor her and let her say whatever she wants to and see if she let anything slip.

“she explained?” I asked non chalantly, Lulu wouldn’t tell may about my magic but it still wouldn’t hurt to make sure.

“like the whole, if there’s no trade off happening it’s a threat. I mean I understand, but I cant relate.”

I shrugged “sounds about right.”

“so, that being said. I’m sorry and in exchange for the apology you owe me a favor?” she looked at me with a question on her face.

I couldn’t help but laugh. She was the one apologizing? If she was trying to work according to what she believed our customs were then she was way off base. Typically we don’t give out apologies at all, but I’ll let this play out I guess.

“okay so what’s the favor?”

“I dunno yet.”

“then no deal.”

“it’s not like im going to ask you for your first born or anything.”

“that’s…oddly specific.” I looked down at her concerned.

“nono! Its from a childrens story, about a witch that asks for a kings first born…..you have no idea what im talking about do you.”

“no I don’t. what the fuck kinds of stories do you humans read. Why is a witch stockpiling babies ??”

“To be fair it sounds really bad out of context…well wait no the story is sorta just messed up in general.”

“wait a second you said this was a children’s story?”

“okay okay, um how about….” She snapped her fingers, changing the subject.

“a ride!”

I rolled my eyes. “how is it a deal if you already have the thing you’re asking for.”

“okay okay, how about two rides.” She holds up two fingers with her face dead set like she was driving a hard bargain.

“sure, whatever floats your boat I guess.” I scratched the back of my head.

“I don’t like owing anyone anything, and I don’t like people feeling indebted to me either so this works.”

I watched her firm expression. She seemed genuine. I shook my head “youre weird as hell, you know that right?”

“As I’ve been told.”

May didn’t say anything else, she just kept walking with her arms crossed over her chest and her shoulders subtly pulled in as if she were cold even though the night was windless and humid.

Anyone that saw her would be able to tell that she was uncomfortable, but I could tell that she didn’t feel that way because of me. She’d occasionally glance around as if she were expecting to be followed or as if someone was going to try and sneak up on her.

But her body language said that she didn’t view me as athreat, because whenever she would try and subtly take in her surroundings her back would mostly be facing me. Like she was sure I’d watch her back if something really was coming.

Even though she apologized to me, I never offered any sort of remorse for what happened that night. She shouldn’t feel this at ease with me.

“I have a question.”

“I might have an answer.”

I stopped walking. “how come you didn’t go to the authorities that night?”

May realized that I had stopped and paused in her path, glancing up at me as if I had just asked the most mundane question. like if she takes cream in her coffee or some shit.

I looked her in the eyes, and for once she didn’t look away.

“it wouldn’t have felt right.”

“It would’ve made more sense if you had.”

“you didn’t actually want to hurt me, or at least I don’t think so.”

I didn’t say anything for a moment, considering her.

“I’m sorry… for that night.”
“but this doesn’t change anything. “ I amended , “ this doesn’t mean you can be all buddy buddy just because im gunna drop you off at your house”

She nodded “fair enough, also you have upgraded to butthole to just a normal pain in the butt.”

“taint.”

She sputtered a laugh. “wow!”

“hey it’s an upgrade.”

Headlights turned on us both as a car came around the corner. It was a sleek black sports car moving towards us a little too fast .

Our ride is finally here.

Paps car screeches to a halt besides us and the driver side window pulls down. “ ARE YOU TWO BOTH GOING TO GET IN OR ARE WE JUST GOING TO STARE AT EACH OTHER ALL NIGHT.”

We both get in and papyrus skirts off. While he’s still driving like he usually does I noticed that he’s driving considerably slower to accommodate for May, so she doesn’t get tossed around like a rag doll.

“SO.”

“what.”

“YOU HAVE APOLOGIZED.”

my skull whipped to glare at him.

“yeah we did.” May chimed in. my glare swivelled around on her next. Giving a her a look that blatantly said ‘what the actual fuck may’ which she gave me a shit eating grin in return.

“WE?”

I swiped my palm over my face “yeah I guess,”

“WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME INCIDENT ARENT WE?”

“The one where there was a misunderstanding and he ended up breaking into my house? Yeah we talked about it.”

I shot another glare through the rearview mirror at may who was pretending that she hadn’t said anything.

Papyrus was looking alittle too pleased with himself, grinning at my forming scowl.

Everyone in this car took joy in my suffering.

The ride was significantly quiet, before Papyrus breaks the silence as abruptly as Undyne breaks bones.

“WHAT SMELLS LIKE HOT SAUCE?”

Chapter Text

Im sitting in at the counter in this glorified booster seat that I might hate to admit that I was growing attached to. I ran my hands over the wood smooth wooden counter idly as I watched monsters browse the aisles a little too enthusiastically.

There were a few times when Id hear an exclamation about them having an item or that they hadn’t had some sort of snack in so long that they were Gunna clear the shelf and every time I added it to the mental tally of how many times I heard something along those lines.

I barely had any time between customers since we've opened, which in all honesty is what I preferred. There was barely any time to get lost in my thoughts. I hadn’t even had the chance to look around for any new mettaton advertisements, which would serve as a good distraction if things ever did slow down. Every time I took the time to browse the magazines that filled the stand by my counter I would have to climb back into my adult booster seat and light whatever dignity I had on fire and throw its burnt remains into the trash.

So instead, I people-watched. Or in this case, monster watched. I was going to take it slow and carefully take in the tiniest bit of other people’s emotions and just be very careful about how guarded id be in order to get reacclimated.

I could do that.

My eyes flitted away from the contact of someone else’s, and I pursed my lips.

If I was being honest with myself, I was pretty wary. The last few days had been… overwhelming to put things lightly. I’ve been feeling out of whack and even now I had little confidence that the way I was reacting to emotions was temporary. While I had been careful for a long time about taking in anything that felt dangerous, like contentedness or worse, joy. Somehow it felt like something was wrong.

So! Today.

I patted my hands on the counter in a staggered rhythm of no particular beat and huffed.

Today I would be doing my best to grow a thicker skin so I won’t be as easily affected. Will it work? Who knows. But today we are going to ride this pseudo optimism until I cant ignore the fact that my attacks are becoming more frequent and it takes less to set them off and-

I started to part the counter alittle more firmly, focusing on each individual pat instead of trying to finish that train of thought.

“Hey uh, that’s a good beat you got going.”

I started, I was paying so much attention to the act of drumming away my wayward thoughts that I hadn’t seen or felt anyone coming. But now that I knew they were there and caught a glance of who I was talking to I wasn’t sure if the unexpected surge of anxiety was my own.

My throat constricted when my eyes landed on the fur of his face, I had looked up so quickly that before my eyes could focus all I saw was his whiskers. I nudged my glasses closer to my face and I recognized the rat monster that had been too nervous to talk to me. The night Lulu had received a shipment to replenish the store.

Even for the smallest of his brothers, he was still much taller than me. In my booster seat he was at what would have been eye level. He wasn’t wearing worn-out work clothes today, and instead, he wore a button-up t-shirt and dress pants. It was completely at odds with the cast he wore on his arm and boot on his opposite leg.

“uh thank you,” I glanced over the counter to see that he didn’t have a basket or a cart, which seeing as he needed his free arm in order to use his crutch sort of made sense. “oh um, Marco right?”

He flinched sending fresh waves of uneasiness and fresh fear into the air between us. His fur bristled slightly but he nodded.

It was so potent that for a moment it sent me reeling. I took a deep breath to try and settle the ponding of my heart.

There was a pause and when he didn’t say anything I tried to break the awkward
Tension.

“did you need help getting your groceries?...or actually I'm not trying to be nosy but are you okay?”

My stomach rolled, and for a moment I was sure I’d be sick. Prickles went up my back, as if something with claws was crawling up to the nape of my neck.

He just stood there ridged and he opened his mouth to say something. But I had the desperate urge to get away from this feeling. I felt like I was going to suffocate under it. Like I was being buried alive under it.

“I uh-“

I didn’t wait for him to finish, I climbed down from my chair and was already in motion to dart into an aisle. “wait here, ill see if lulu can help you shop around-“

“please-“

I felt so guilty about feeling this…this horrible, that standing near him was so unbearable, but I still didn’t pause to stay there any longer. “and have it brought to the front-“

My blood ran cold and I heard a clatter from where I had just sped past him.

“wait!” he caught my hand with his unbroken one and I swiveled to face him.

He was close enough that there was no avoiding his eyes, the fear that I felt grew, and breathed like a living thing had swallowed me whole. Compounding and devouring until that all that there was. I couldn’t breathe.

I could feel my legs stiffen and my body go slack all at once. The last thing I saw was Marco's horrified face as they let go of my hand and the world warped until it went horizontal. I saw his legs leave as quickly as he could, and between rounds of suffocating and fighting to get the thing or things off my back I saw lulu, but I couldn’t look at her right now, because everything was black. Something was holding me down but the thing that was crawling over my back was making its way up to my face in a sadistic march that made my skin feel like It would get up and crawl away. I needed it off, I couldn’t breathe I needed to move I needed to- I screamed.

I couldn’t hear my own scream.

I thrashed, or I hope I did. If I fought hard enough then I could get out of this, I would be able to breathe.

I didn’t know how much or how little things worked because all I could feel and all I could see was nothing. The absence of black or light, of everything. I couldn’t see myself.

Then all at once, the fear, the rage, the desperation was gone. The phantom claws, the suffocating sludge that I tried to swallow down like muddy bog water, whatever was holding me down, it was all gone.

With the strain on my mind gone and my body feeling as light as air now, it didn’t take more than a few seconds to succumb to unconsciousness.

Chapter Text

I rounded the corner of the street, having teleported to a secluded spot. I needed to grab some snacks for my long day of rewiring some of the overhead lights or risk another day of cascading shorts throughout the building. Or worse, a fire. I could thank the shoddy contractor work for that fuck-up.

I tried and failed to pull the uniform away from my bones where they began to bite into me as I walked. The custodians’ coveralls weren’t quite my size, they cut uncomfortably into a few unmentionable parts of my body.

I hated wearing human clothes, they never fit, no matter how large they made them. Even Considering that human’s made this uniform with tall and wide humans in mind, which by our standards was never big or tall enough if the way my pants was digging into my nonexistent ass was any indication.

I looked at myself in the glass of the automatic doors. It was one of the few things that I’d always be grateful for paps for, for as rough as he was, he had a very delicate touch. Often making and remaking our worn clothes into something usable. If I strutted around in this skintight denim equivalent for much longer Paps would probably throw a fit until he stole the uniform away and altered it.

In the reflection of the store window, I caught a glimpse of that rat bastard hobbling down the street. Judging by the way he was in such a hurry heading in the opposite direction of me, he must’ve spotted me and decided against coming down this street.

I glared after him for a moment before deciding that I’d be pissed if I wasted time that I could be picking up food and continued to play this dumb mental game of guessing the rat’s daily routine instead.

The doors to Lulu’s shop slid open and I was smacked in the face with a wall of commotion. The calm mundane afternoon I was having up and died, buried under the frantic yelling and panicked shouts from inside. I froze near the entrance to make sense of the situation I was looking at. I blinked.

Hastily abandoned carts and baskets were discarded in scattered heaps. Products even littered the floor.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out where all of these patrons had headed to. The crowd of tightly packed monsters surrounded one of the registers.

Did a fight break out? No, there were too many worried faces, too many people asking for help, how to help, and what to do. There was too much panic among the patrons to be a run-of-the-mill fight. I slunk around the crowd to get a better look and realized that I knew some of these worried faces.

Fuko was frozen still, her fire burned low to her frame. As if someone had thrown ice water over a roaring campfire.

And just then, I heard a guttural scream. My eyelights went out, and I tensed. It wasn’t a scream of frustration or one you let out in a fight you were losing. It was the type of scream you let out when you thought you were dying, the type of cornered terrified sound you let out when you couldn’t do anything else.

From the looks of the crowd, it unsettled them too, there were mixed reactions of people backing away, to some even outright turning tail and running. With the added commotion there was just enough space between the legs of the on-lookers to glimpse black hair splayed across the floor beneath thrashing limbs like a morbid pool of black while white paws fumbled to try and restrain someone in place.

I pushed forward, parting the back of the crowd to get a better look before stopping in my tracks.

Lulu was there, kneeling on the floor over a flailing may who was sprawled out on the floor thrashing and grasping and screaming. May didn’t even react to her efforts, and while her eyes were open they never settled on anything in front of her.

Lulu’s eyes met mine and with a single look, she didn't need to say a single word.

“EVERYONE CLEAR OUT.”

Most of the crowd flinched, my voice had cut through the mayhem and successfully attracted the attention of every monster in the room.

I Hadn’t been noticed here until just then. Dozens of sets of eyes met mine before wasting no time leaving the vicinity. Some lingered, and others left with no more than a few worried glances back at the person on the floor but with the crowd thinned I approached Lulu and a very hysteric May.

“The fuck is going on, lulu,” I asked, weaving through the departing crowd.

“I don’t know what triggered this she just-“

Lulu didn’t need to finish. May screamed again and thrashed this time the wail twisted until all that came out was a morbid gurgle.

The sound had me fighting against the urge to draw my magic.

I was just about to intervene, to help her restrain May but once I got within arm’s reach of her, May’s limbs went limp. like someone cut the strings to a tangled marionette doll.

I watched the human as if she’d pop up any minute and try to attack. No way this shit was normal.

Lulu’s ears jerked back no doubt hating how unpredictable her movements were just as much as I did. Cautious or not she took precautions to keep May from accidentally hurting herself and quickly started to pat down her pockets. When those were empty, she checked her pulse. May stayed deathly still except for her slow even breathing.

After the amount of thrashing she had just gotten through, her slow-paced breathing almost looked robotic, it made me question if she was faking it. wouldn’t it be normal to at least be winded?

Her eyes were rolled into an unfocused lull somewhere halfway into her head.

I let out a huff. She was either unconscious or a world-class actor.

I did a passive check on her, and all I got back was

May
HP 2/10
Lv???

‘Grateful’

I frowned down at where May laid, not knowing what to make of that.
what the fuck did that even mean?

I sighed. I could feel a headache forming.

I looked around and considered how dangerous she was. If she were really a problem almost any monster should be able to make quick work of a human like her. The monsters around her even looked worried about her. I glanced around and spotted Fuko who was still rooted to the spot,

Her hands are trembling where they stayed clenched by her sides. I knew she could see me, but she refused to look at me. I would need to talk to her after this was all sorted out.

I turned my attention back to Lulu, she was still sitting on the floor next to May with a grave look on her face, staring down at her in deep thought.

“Ya need a hand?” I asked, cautiously nudging May’s limp arm with the toe of my shoe. It rolled slightly but she didn’t stir.

she snapped her attention back to me, leaving whatever train of thought she was on. I was surprised that the action hadn’t earned a look of warning.

“oh uh yeah, sorry.” Her eyebrows came together in a concerned tent. “we need to get her out of here."

That sounded good and all, but I really didn’t want to openly involve myself further. But this wasn’t for May, and I didn’t want to leave her here where Fuko could just keep staring at her like that.

Lulu must have seen the apprehension on my face because her look turned pleading. “I hate to admit it but you’re the best person to take her home.”

I stared down at Lulu, and she met my eye lights unflinchingly. She had meant that.

She was trusting me with her.

How was I of all monster’s the best one to take her home? but this wasn’t really the time for me to start pondering the depth of my friendship with Lulu. I hadn’t done much to earn that trust, but out of necessity it wasn’t like she could shirk her responsibilities and just leave the store unattended even if it tore her up to not be able to care for some, she was close to. Especially because she wasn’t a monster.

“I’ll lock up, can you…?” she asks, trailing off as she struggled to lift May’s dead weight despite her small human frame.

I nodded, tired of watching her struggle with lifting the human. I scooped her up and May laid limp in one of my arms. Her eyes still rolled unseeing.

Well, That’s fucking creepy.

I used my free hand to close her eyes, but the morbid gesture didn’t make it any better. I turned to walk to the back of the store. “Let’s get this over with,”

“Thanks,” was all I heard from Lulu.

“sure whatever,” I gave her a dismissive wave over my shoulder.

Once I was out of everyone’s line of sight I double-checked to make sure May wasn’t conscious. Her breathing had fallen into a sleep-like cadence, and she had begun to curl into my chest. Not conscious. Check.

I teleported to her living room much like that night before.

It felt… wrong to be holding her like this now.

She was so small and fragile that there was a part of me that felt ashamed that I was thinking about killing her that night. I hated to admit how close I was to doing it too. For someone like her, it wouldn’t have taken much, to begin with. Hell, even right now her bones would snap with the wrong amount of much pressure.

She was too soft. Too warm.

I hurried and walked her to her bedroom. I only knew it was hers because her scent was all over the Damn place in here. Like sunny afternoons and cut grass. I had to resist the urge to throw her at her mattress just to have her off me. My arm tensed under her as I rethought the action before committing to the idea. I didn’t need to be the cause of some other injury.

I leaned over to set her down on her bed, feeling very uncomfortable being so close in such an intimate space. I couldn’t do anything about the way I had to lean over her to set her down since her bed was as low to the ground as a froggit's asshole or the way I had to slide my pinned arm from under her body to get away. Her hair, which was still wild from earlier, clung to my shirt like it was a living thing reaching out to grasp me.

Everything just felt like…too much.

Too close for comfort.

Once she was settled, I wasted no time getting back to the living room and plopping down on the couch. Lulu would take a while to get here, she would need to drive over. That left me with all this time to just wait.

I wanted to go home but that could mean missing out on getting an explanation. I didn’t need Lulu thinking up a good excuse just because I didn’t stick around. I glanced down at my watch. I guess the rest of my day was shot then. Work was outta the question, I’d have to remember later to call out later.

I sighed.

The house was eerily silent. Being in this house alone with her made me feel…uneasy. Like I shouldn’t be here. Feeling antsy, I leaned from where I sat to peer down the hallway, I hadn’t bothered to close her bedroom door. I groaned getting up to shut it. If I didn’t, I know I’d just keep checking to see if I was being snuck up on and I didn’t want the headache.

I let out a huff. She had struck a deal with me and said what had happened was under the bridge…but she was human, and the deal was sketchily in my favor.

I was over thinking this.

I reached for the doorknob taking a final look in to see that May was in fact still lying there unmoved, and not hiding in wait with a weapon.

No one would have guessed that she just had a stars-be-damned conniption just a few minutes ago. If I hadn’t witnessed, it for myself I would’ve thought she was just taking a nap. May stirred turning on her side towards her window. I shut her door.

I stood there for a moment collecting myself, before heading to the kitchen and rummaging around in their fridge.

I was running on empty, the whole circus I had walked into had interrupted my goal of grabbing stuff for lunch and I hadn’t bothered to eat breakfast. A pilfered thing or two was the least Lulu could do since apparently now I’m a glorified taxi service. I found and claimed the only bottle of mustard on the shelf of the door.

I upended the bottle, giving it a hearty squeeze into my mouth, and sighed. The breakfast of champions. Idly I peeked inside drawers and cabinets of the kitchen while I ate.

Nothing unordinary.

Except there was barely any human food to be found. Just a ton of vitamin tablets for Humans. I pilfered a nice cream from the freezer once I was done with my mustard. The rest of the kitchen didn’t have anything else of note, so I quit my search.

I got a whole two bites in before the front door opened.

I leaned out the kitchen doorway to see who it was before downing the rest of the Nice cream in two chomps.

It was Lulu, she sets her bag down on the couch and makes her way to me. “How is she?” she asks me in hushed tones.

“Resting looks like.”

Lulu just looks…Exhausted, like a wilted lettuce leaf. She sits down on the couch and lets out a deep sigh. She might as well be melting into the couch.

“Lulu, you know I’m gonna ask.“

“Yeah,” She rubs the bridge of her snout with a paw. “ I know, can you sit?” Her ears droop laying over her shoulders as if the words were draining the life out of her.

I sit on the opposite side of the couch, leaning back on the armrest to better face her.

Lulu strokes one of her ears Idly as she thinks.

When I didn’t think she’d speak she finally broke the silence.

“May is….sick” Lulu isn’t making eye contact with me, instead she strokes an ear the same way a human would comb their fingers through their hair. She wasn’t being entirely honest.

“What kind of sick?”

Lulu’s mouth tensed into a firm line “You I can't really go into detail, but take my word for it she’s sick.”

“why does that sound like some bullshit?” I squinted at her “ Even you have to see how that’s real convenient Lulu.”

Lulu shot me a glare. “what you don’t trust me? Really sans?”

“More like I don’t trust your judgment. Anyone can see that there’s something wrong with May. I’m not doubting that, I just don’t like the fact that this needs to be some kind of secret. Humans get sick all the time. If this was some weird human flu then there wouldn’t need to be a reason to be so damn secretive.”

“Maybe, she’s just earned that sort of trust from me okay? Maybe I don’t wanna break that trust just to justify me helping a friend. “

“you're goin’ real far for just a ‘friend’,” I said off-handedly.

It didn’t go unnoticed how she bristled, or the twinge of magic that she couldn’t keep control of that slipped into the air. That just about confirmed what I had thought.

“Okay, okay look,” I took a settling breath. This wasn’t getting me anywhere. “How about this, I’ll just ask some stuff and just answer what you can. Fair?”

Lulu shrugged.

“Is this dangerous?”

“No. “

“Has this happened before?”

She nodded. “not when I’ve been around though. She said… this just happens sometimes.” She puts her face in paws, rubbing as if to wipe away her fatigue. I could see that she was hurting, I’ve seen the same face in the mirror on runs where I didn’t know if Paps would die or not.

“Are you asking all these questions as a friend or as the judge?”

“I guess you could say both.” I leaned, resting my elbows on my knees. I wish I had a smoke. “You and I both know I’m not the judge anymore. Not really. “

Lulu eyes me warily “I just don’t want the people I know to get hurt.”

“Well, then we have the same goal.”

“May is one of the people I know Sans”

“No shit. “

“ you said you’d leave this to me. That was just a few days ago. I’m watching over her sans; she isn’t hurting anyone. “ Her voice is strained as she struggled to find the right words “ she…she-“

I don’t think I’m going to get any more meaningful information about what happened when she was like this. I was going to ask her why she was going this far for May but It wasn’t hard to tell, I could just by looking at her. I could tell by the scent she was putting out, the same smell was covering may. No doubt every monster and their brother could too.

“Lulu, be careful okay?” I tried to say gently. “I don’t see what you’re doing ending well.”

She looks up at me then. She’s bewildered but she doesn’t deny it.

She doesn’t need me to explain the warning. It settles over her like a misting of dread. It almost made me feel bad about mentally dragging her back into the hell that was underground.

“we don’t do that anymore sans, We’re better now we wouldn’t-” she says her eyes are watery and I’m realizing that she has been barely keeping it together this whole time. Lulu’s conviction falters, deep down the worry was still there, with May being such a weak target and hostilities high between humans and monsters it really wouldn’t take much. All it took was an attack on monsters violent enough for monsters to take action, and Lulu being a sympathizer would only make them both a target in that sort of situation.

I stiffened at her sudden tears. At my best attempt at being gentle I asked

“so your sister what does your sis think about this?” If she had protection from her entire family this wouldn’t be such a big issue.

Lulu closed her mouth and clenched her jaw her ears drooping but no less defiant.

Her answer was clear.

“Does she even know?”

“ you mean May? or my sister?” Lulu sucked in a breath, steeling herself and hiding away the worst of her emotions. And like that she was back to being sensible, clearheaded. “Maybe? If they do they don’t know the extent of it...."and they don’t need to find out.” She fixed me a glare that meant that the conversation was over.

“with you putting out your scent like that, you won’t have to worry about me of all monsters spilling your secrets.”

Lulu grimaced but nodded.

It looked like this was a good time to leave, but Lulu stops me. “Hey sans, thank you. I mean it.”

She didn’t elaborate what for, and I wasn’t all that sure if she knew exactly what reason she was thanking me for either.

I nodded once and was out the door.

I closed the door behind me and sighed. I really wanted to ‘Port home but I didn’t want to risk burning so much magic when I haven’t eaten enough today. I didn’t even have a chance to step off the first step when I noticed Fuko pacing the walkway.

“whaddaya doing?”

Fuko freezes in her tracks, she hadn’t noticed I had left the house.

She doesn’t answer the question and instead asks her own. “Is she okay?” It must've been the only thing on her mind since it happened.

“yeah, “

She perked up at that, but her flames were still low, and It didn’t take a genius to know she wasn’t alright

“Are you okay?”

Fuko gave me her typical response to the question, opting to put out more cheer than was necessary to evade the actual question. She shot me two thumbs up and a pseudo smile. “oh I'm fine! Just a little rattled” I knew her way too long to know that it was some bullshit.

I scratched the back of my head in frustration. I was becoming an all-around therapist.

“you want to talk about it?”

Fuko shook her head, her imitation cheer shriveling up and dying before she could really commit to the act. I threw an arm over her shoulder in a sort of awkward half hug.

“Lets head over to our place for a bit okay?”

“sounds good bro ,” she returned the hug by leaning her head on my shoulder.

She didn’t object and the walk was short. She attempted some small talk meant to redirect me from worrying about her. “ so, you’re the thick sans today.” Gave me a soft finger jab to the belly.

“Fuko, if you were any other person I’d launch you into space for sayin shit like that.”

This gets a wry chuckle out of her.

Papyrus opens the door and is about to question why I’m not at work when he sees fuko and the state she’s in. His jaw snaps shut with an audible clack. He makes room for us to enter and awkwardly offers to go make some fire nettle tea. Papyrus had an innate sense for knowing if Fuko would cry and fire nettle tea helped.

I bristled at the offer, knowing what to expect next. Doom, who had been curled up on the floor of the living room, upon spotting Fuko and sensing the mood she was in escaped to the backyard. There had been too many instances of him getting singed during some of her breakdowns.

I lead her over to the couch and she makes an attempt at a casual sprawl before giving up. She settles for a slouch that allowed her to sink into the cushions. Her hands are folded on her lap where she was trying and failing to hide the quivering.

The room is silent, all except for the hiss of the gas stove in the kitchen and the gentle clanking of mugs. I Patted Fuko on the shoulder, “are you sure you don’t wanna talk about it”

And like that the waterworks started, or more like wildfire. On cue, Paps set the mug of firenettle tea on the coffee table in front of her and I rub soothing circles into her back.

It was something I’ve done for her since we were kids. Yes, it sometimes resulted in a singed bone or two but it was worth it. I packed on whatever ambient magic I had into the protective cushion around myself.

“I.. I don’t know what happened.” She bawled.

Her voice was so quiet that I would’ve missed it if I hadn’t been listening for it.

“don’t worry you’re not the only one.”
Confused and worried Paps stood there with his teapot ready to pour more tea in the eventuality that she would need more. His usually scornful expression softened under the concern he felt.

“what happened?” his voice was deliberately gentle. A rare thing for him to do.

Fuko began crying sparks, they were flaming hot and singed her shirt. The few that fell into her teacup fizzled out. Meanwhile, with no real urgency I gently smothered the ones that were starting to burn the couch . This was normal, I would just buy a couch cover for a few cushions at some point so she wouldn’t feel bad about ruining this one too.

“Somethin happed with May today and it scared a lot of people,”

That was the extent that I knew of the situation that I knew for a fact.

“what I do know was that it wasn’t your fault fuko, you didn’t cause this.”

Her tears started to flow faster, “ I know.”

“then what's with the tears?”

“because I came back and- and froze! She was there on the floor and I didn’t do anything. Couldnt do anything!””

“ that’s normal. you cant always know whats the best thing to do.”

She shook her head and stared down into her teacup.

“ Is this about them?”

Fukos flames flared up briefly before petering out into a low burn. She nodded infinitesimally.

I could see the question on pap’s face, it was out of view from fuko and I subtly shook my head at him. That wasn’t something we needed to rehash right now, I could tell him later.

“fuko, that wasn’t your fault either, you couldn’t have done anything back then. How were you supposed to protect three other kids when you were a kid yourself?”

Her flames crackled and sparks began to fly as she cried. “but I just watched and they- and may I-“

I pulled her into the cradle of my arm for a hug.” It’s okay sis. May’s fine. She’s not dust she’s lying in bed, Lulu is with her.”

She’s still sparking but she’s slowly returning to her normal shade.

“May has a lot of people lookin after her she’ll be just fine.” I awkwardly rocked fuko, and while all I was saying was the truth it made me uneasy. This made things more difficult.

Fuko nodded.

“youre right.” It was a whisper, but she did her best to give me some semblance of a smile. Or her equivalent.

“Damn straight I am. Drink your tea.”

She did.

“do you want to stick around? Maybe rest a bit?”

“and stay in your nasty ass room? No…I’ll probably head home.”

I gave her a look and hooked my thumb in a gesture that meant ‘need a lift?’

She shook her head. “'Porting aways makes my magic act funny. I’ll just walk home.”

“you sure? There have been a lot of ‘incidents’ lately.”

“Sans.” She gave me a look that said that any human that had the bright idea to try her was going to come away with more than just a few burns.

“okay okay, I get it.” Fuko gave me a hug that lingered and I gave her a reassuring pat on the back. “be safe.”

“I will.” She lets go and turns to head out the door. The room was silent when she left, except for the sound of my crackling shirt which is still lit in a few spots. I patted them out and peeled off the outer layer of my uniform. I’d have to go get another pair of coveralls. I could just wear a old shirt and slacks in the meantime, not that the old man would mind.

It’s not like the customers are busting down the door to see what fashion statement the maintenance monster is setting. I threw it over the back of the sofa and sat down. Letting out a sigh and leaning my elbows down on my knees.

“sans, what's going on? Was May attacked?”

I shook my head. “I don’t have the full details but according to Lulu, apparently it's some sort of illness she has.” I rubbed my temples, I could definitely feel a tension headache coming on. “Her uh, condition? It just caused a commotion at Lulu’s shop. “

“Will she be okay?” His voice was uncharacteristically quiet, more so than usual.

He had my full attention then. I looked him over, he was trying not to let it show but he was just as worried about may as fuko was. Yep, definitely a headache.

“ I dunno paps,

all I know is that this isn’t the first time this has happened. So, my best guess is that she will be.”

Paps scowled as if he were tasting the words and deciding he didn’t like them, before collecting the teacup fuko left behind and disappearing into the kitchen. a moment later I heard the Loud clanging of pans.

I sighed and wiped my face with my gloved palm. No doubt Paps was going to stress bake for the next few days.

I really hope Lulu knows what she’s doing.

Chapter Text

I’m sitting on the floor of my room next to my doorway, with the lights on in the hallway. I hadn’t managed a wink of sleep outside of my involuntary coma. The sun had just risen but that’s alright. Maybe with it not being so dark, I’ll be able to finally get some rest.

Between my body aching and creaking at every movement, the other night had still plagued me.

It’s funny how things look so different at night, the hallway that once had shifting shadows where the light in the middle of the hall couldn’t reach now looked as docile and peaceful as a picture of a showroom in a magazine.

I couldn’t find the shapes and silhouettes that lurked only just a few hours ago. Things weren’t moving in the corner of my eye.

My favorite part of the day was here, and it came like a glass of cool water on a parched day. The sleepy powder blue sunrise was accompanied by the soft pitter-patter of rain. I slowly got up and dragged the blanket that had kept me company on the floor to the couch. I wrapped myself in it and plopped down.

The last few days since that night in the woods had left me without any sleep. Without it, I could feel the usual strains of my ability taking their toll. My joints still protested from their abuse during yesterday’s…situation.

I curled up into my seat letting the blanket fully encompass me until I was nothing more than a mass of blankets. I wanted to forget that even happened. Pretend for a little while longer that no one had seen me yesterday.

A sharp shooting pain whizzed up my back as I tested a better position to sit in, reminding me that yes; yesterday did happen and that I would have to deal with it.

The sun began to stream through the balcony window in rainbowed halos, reminding me of the sun streaming between a canopy of leaves from yesterday.

I rubbed the blanket against my cheeks as if it would rub away some of the fluster I had felt. Of all the times for an attack to happen.

The last few days had been a string of embarrassments. If this pattern kept up I might as well move somewhere more remote until people forget that I existed. I let out a long settling breath when the unwanted memory resurfaced about what could happen if I kept seeking out true seclusion. My stomach clenched.

At least Sans hadn’t been as…abrasive as he normally was that day. It meant a lot to know that he wasn’t looking for a fight every time he saw me. Maybe he’s just naturally rougher around the edges than most monsters. Or maybe without my usual advantage of seeing his real emotions he just always seemed more intimidating.

I sighed. At the very least we put the whole breaking in and being a butthole behind us. Which was probably the whole silver lining of yesterday but I couldn’t help but wonder if his offer of truce was out of pity.

But honestly, that was the least I had to worry about right now. I sink deeper into my blanket, “I fixed one problem and created five other ones.yaay.” I said to the empty room.

My phone dinged. It was the text tone I had set for my dad. My phone sat on the entertainment center where it would probably stay until I decided that I had enough of staying at home.

My phone dinged again.

I glared at it from across the room.

No doubt it was the usual type of text. He writes them much like you would an email or a letter where he'd ask me how I've been, how my life is now. But as time went on he almost seemed to give up on ever getting a response and his letter-like format became more like journal entries. He’d been sending me regular updates on his life for months but I’d never given him a reply. I always thought it was convenient that he wanted to be in my life now that I’m an adult when he never seemed interested in contacting me after he dropped me off with my mother. I'd reply back someday, I just wasn't ready to yet. It all still felt too fresh to be able to process yet.

On the third ding, I got up and shuffled over to grab my phone.

There were at least a dozen unread messages.

I read a few of them and the last one is just him apologizing for bothering me and that this will be the last message.

That... I didn’t know how to take that. The uneasy twisting in my gut turned into full-blown buzzy anxiety. As if all my blood had been exchanged with bees and now I could hear the hum of my blood thumping in my ears.

My fingers hovered over the buttons, I wanted it to be my choice if I wanted to talk to him. I didn’t want him to just disappear again and leave me without a choice.

I started typing and when the words couldn’t form I deleted them. I closed the chat window and scrolled through my contacts.

I couldn’t be alone with my thoughts. I needed to pretend none of this was happening, even If it was just for a little bit.

Deep down there was a part of me screaming that I didn’t want to see anyone, that it’d be better if I just stayed home. But dealing with a few weird glances far outweighed the prospect of sitting in the house all day for my thoughts to destroy the last few strands of rationality that were holding me together.

For the first time ever, I scrolled through my contacts and frowned. I’ve never felt like I didn’t have enough people listed. But with recent events, I found that I had very few people I could talk to.

Scott…I couldn’t call Scott about this. None of it. not what happened in the woods, or the store. He doesn’t even know about my father. I stared at his name. I wanted to talk to him, and be able to sort things out with him.

I kept scrolling.

The next number to pop up wasn’t any more helpful. Emily wouldn’t pick up even if I had the guts to call her right now.

We needed some time to cool off, and maybe talk about what happened. I cringed as I remembered what I said to her before decisively putting that thought away for now.

I wasn’t ready to try and even process what happened. Not today.

Lulu was busy and I’d feel bad about bothering her.

I Idly scrolled through my contacts. I felt like I haven’t had some nice calm company in a while. To be fair my isolation has been of my own making. But I know what looking for isolated locations would get me, so maybe I just needed a change in pace. I browsed through my not very long contact list and hovered over Fuko’s name.

She hadn’t been there yesterday, had she? I sifted through my hazy recollection of yesterday and I couldn’t remember her in the commotion.

I tapped on her contact, and she picked up in a few rings.

“…May?”

“uh hi Fuko, is this a bad time?”

“no, not really it's just a surprise to get your call…” There was a pause over the line “wassup?”

I felt awkward asking, “Not much, I was just wondering if you’d feel up to hanging out today?”

There was a long pause and I was half expecting her to tell me that she was busy or that it was weird that I was asking.

“Sure, What time were you thinking? “

I blinked at the immediate response. I swallowed the ten different responses that had been bubbling up in anticipation of rejection.

“oh! Uh, any time that worked for you?”

“Okay head on over whenever you're ready. You remember how to get to my house right?”

“yeah, I think it's still in my GPS history somewhere.”

“Okay, see ya “

And like that she hung up.

I glanced down at my phone. Huh.

She didn’t seem as enthusiastic as usual.

Fuko is cool with it

May gets dressed, and heads out. She drives over to her house. May asks if she can be the one to drive.

I pull on a comfy hoodie over my pajama t-shirt after giving myself a whiff. I didn’t smell as bad as I felt at least. I wasn’t sticky and even though I had long since washed the dried wine from my skin, Emily must've gotten some in my hair because my shampoo was mixing in with the smell.

Wafting the unpleasant mix of stale strawberry Moscato and lavender vanilla in unexpected waves. It was sweet in the way a fruit salad might be after someone’s stomach returned the dish to sender.

I sighed.

I just needed fresh air.

I made sure to drive to Fuko’s home with the windows down, hoping it would help the smell. My car thankfully got me where I needed to go. Even though the fickle thing stuttered and stalled when I sat at the light for a little too long.

I would need to take it back in for maintenance again soon.

I pulled up to Fuko’s house and I had to double-check the address to make sure I had the right place. Her home looked completely different during the day. Without the crush of bodies pulsating out the door and the deep bass of the music that vibrated the walls, it looked like a calm and peaceful cottage. If a millionaire built said cottage.

There were terraces with intricately wrought iron railings made humble by the ravenous ivy that intertwined through half of the structure like someone throwing a green leafy blanket over the home.

Morning glories had taken advantage of the natural lattice that the ivy provided and was flourishing in reckless beauty.

I noticed that while the plant life may seem uncontrolled and wild, I noticed the careful paths they followed and the meticulous way it was trimmed.

I had really been here and not seen any of this.

I stepped out of my car and lock it behind me. Not that I really needed to. I highly doubt that if someone were to steal a car, they would target one more than a mile radius of any other structure and wheeze when you even thought about taking it over 40mph.

I followed the walkway of closely packed flagstone pavers to the door, where there was a heavy knocker.

The knocker barely had enough time to hit the door before Fuko swung it open.

“you're here!” She scoops me into a one-armed hug and all but drags me inside pulling the door closed behind me.

I stifled a shocked ‘eep’ and let her lead me to a massive dining room table, where I vaguely remember drinking with Undyne. Instead of drinks lined up over its surface, Fuko had a lineup of snacks. Ranging from sweet to salty.

She put out the subtle smell of baking brownies in the process, which I probably would never tell her smelled amazing.

I grabbed what looked like a Danish off the table before following her around the corner.

It was larger than Emily’s father’s house. With the crowd of people and monsters gone the room felt enormous, but somehow not so spacious that it felt empty. It was tastefully decorated and….well warm. It felt like a family lived here. Like happy memories were fostered in its walls and were inviting others to come and make memories of their own.

My stomach clenched with a feeling I couldn’t put my finger on

Fuko plops down onto a couch. The very same couch that I had once stood on, with my shoes, and danced. I could feel my face getting hot. The nice velvety black couch sat spotless to my relief. Thank god drunk me hadn’t walked through mud or something.

I sat next to Fukos calm waves. She wasn’t even curious, she just kept putting out homey warmth in lulls, until I melted into the couch. It was so calming that the unease that rolled like waves breaking on a shore was almost negligible.

I had wanted to not be on my own, but I hadn’t known that this was what I actually needed. To be able to sit with someone in silence eating sweets and just enjoying each other’s company. Fuko had gotten up and retrieved the plate of brownies from the table along with a drink for me.

She ate one putting out more waves of freshly baked brownies and offered the plate to me.

And like that, we finished the plate together.

When It was done she turned to me lazily. “ so, you wanna start or should I?”

I tilted my head in question while I finished my brownie.

“I mean, this is the first time you’ve ever initiated us hanging out so spill, what’s you want to talk about.”

I chew the brownie slower, the calm air dissipating and leaving me with my own anxiety as the intrusive event of this week hit me like a truck. How do I even start? Did I even really want to unload everything on Fuko like that? This is our first time hanging out-

“I can literally see you overthinking it. Just tell me what you want to, or like tell me if you don’t wanna talk and I’ll try to stop poking.”

She looked at me. “try.” She enunciated.

I still didn’t feel curiosity from her. Just genuine care and concern. I knew that if I said that I didn’t feel up to talking she wouldn’t press any further.

“It's not that I don’t- okay maybe I don’t wanna talk about it. To be honest, I'm overwhelmed. I feel like I dunno.”

“like the world is out for you?”

“I hate to say it but sometimes yeah,”

She hums in thought. “yeah I can get that feeling. I’m here tho, did you wanna give me the gist?”

“I uh,” I sigh. A deep tired sigh. If I was going to start anywhere then it might as well be the beginning.

“ a few nights ago I ran into some trouble and it almost wound up being bad,“
I didn’t know how to really explain without telling her what I couldn’t exactly put into words.

“I was walking a trail and…you know when you just get really bad vibes from someone? Like your instincts tell you that you aren’t safe?”

Fuko nods infinitesimally, she's facing me, scanning my expression.

“well, someone approached me the other night, and they –“ I shrugged and curled up. Not knowing how to finish the sentence.

“Did they… hurt you?”

I shook my head. “ It didn’t get to that point,”

The tenseness of her shoulders eased some but didn’t release. “When did this happen?”

“Two days ago. If I’m being honest sleep has been an issue. It’s like you just know something bad is going to happen, except it doesn’t. Then it only gets worse at night, I can't shake the feeling like something bad was going to happen.” I let out a deep sigh “, and yesterday-“

I could feel it then, the uneasiness that Fuko was masking came to the forefront. With it uncorked a cacophony of bottled emotions all chained to each other like a macabre magician's scarf trick.

My stomach rolled. Stars.

I swallowed and closed my eyes taking a second to carefully untangle my emotions from hers, otherwise, I'd have bolted from her living room. There wasn’t a doubt that she was there yesterday. I deflated.

I couldn’t help but feel guilty and no doubt it showed. No wonder it had felt weird talking to her on the phone. Her outward appearance hadn’t changed, she didn’t recoil or give any hint that she knew. But seeing my expression, and knowing that she hadn’t fooled me changed the color of her flames to a somber blue that echoed her remorse.

“ah,” was all she said. Stuffing her face with another brownie to hide how choked up she felt.

“I’m sorry,”

She swiveled on me, her flames burning red briefly before burning away back into their normal color.
“May why the fuck are YOU apologizing.”

“I -uh well you-“

“May I owe you an apology, not the other way around.” She thrust the brownies at me. “I can practically see the thoughts across your face right now. I…I didn’t do anything to help yesterday. I just. I froze up. I couldn’t do anything for you.”

I shook my head. “honestly, you couldn’t have done anything.”

“I could’ve gotten you help, or gone with you when sans took you home. I dunno something. Maybe a human hospital.”

I patted her shoulder and shook my head. I didn’t know what to tell her. “It's not something that can be cured, all I can do when that happens is wait it out.” I put my hands in my lap, fidgeting with my fingers as I spoke to give me an excuse not to look at her. “I know it's scary to have to see, I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m usually more careful.”

“Careful? So you can prevent them?”

“I shrugged, it's not really down to a science.”

Fuko was quiet for a moment, and I could feel the concentration and curiosity building until she finally spoke. “so, sans said that you…you're sick?”

My head swiveled to look at her then. “he said that?”

She nodded, “ is it true?”

I swallowed. How did he know that? Did Lulu tell him? or had he always been able to tell? He had mentioned something about my soul when we first met. Was that why he acted like I was his worst enemy? Because he thought I was reading him?

I saw Fukos flame flicker and I blinked trying to refocus on the question she asked me. I nodded. “it's….it could be worse. I’m used to it. “ the words felt bland and practiced coming out of my mouth. The worry didn’t dissipate from her so I added. “it’s not terminal. I’ll live.”

That didn’t do much to ease Fuko’s nerves but it looked like it helped if even a little. She nodded. It didn’t look like she was going to press much further.

I nudged her in the side and she yelped. She gave me a mock glare of indignation.

I smiled at her, “I’m fineee. I promise.”

She gave me another nod and let out a huff, a large smoke ring rose above her head, and with it most of the tension in the room.

“well! That sure was a talk. Let's go get some snacks and watch some movies and not be adults for a little bit.”

“That sounds good.”

“good! Because you have reigns on the remote for Netflix. Pick something good and I just might give you a mani-pedi later.”

“Where’s the fun in that if you only do mine? You'd have to let me- hey wait do you even have toenails?....or nails?” I glanced down at her hands which had no noticeable nails to even paint.

She guffawed “nope!”

“then why do you own nail polish???”

“because other monsters own nail polish.” She said as if that was just common sense, tossing me the remote.

I caught it and shook my head.

I put on a movie that looks interesting enough, and it was good up until the middle so we fell back into a conversation. She opened up about her boyfriend and how that was going.

Fuko, for all her confidence and enthusiasm for life, was actually a very sensitive monster. Her father fad found out about her relationship and wasn’t the happiest about it.

“The worst part is that my father doesn’t even care that he’s human, not really. He’s worried. “

“That he’d hurt you?”

She shook her head. “No that we might get serious. “ she considered something “ that, and his lack of experience.”

“I don’t get it.” that was the farthest guess as to why I thought her father would be opposed to their relationship.

“well he’s only been in two other relationships, so he’s worried I’ll get serious with him then he’ll get bored and leave.”

“I mean, two isn’t that bad”

Fuko shrugged.

“well, how many people have you dated?”

“over the years? More than I can count. Enough to know what I want.”

I considered her for a long while. “Fuko?....how old are you?”

“oh I’ll be turning fifty this year I think.”

I jerked “fifty??”

“Hey! Don’t move I'm going to mess up your nails. “ she gave my wrist a light swat. “yes fifty I- OH. Humans don’t know that, right.”

“I feel like you forget not to tell me things all the time.” I shook my head
“There's still no way,” I said in disbelief.

“It must be my skincare routine” she makes ‘vogue’ hand poses around her face

“Har har very funny. Really though fifty?”

“Yeah it's old for you maybe but in terms of my lifespan I’m still a ‘young adult’ I think that’s what you’re categorized in right? Not quite an adult-adult but definitely not a teenager?”

“Wow, so if I see a monster kid are they like twenty”

Fuko chuckles, “I mean sometimes? We all have different lifespans. Oh oh! Don’t tell anyone about me dropping some knowledge on you. Like last time.” She pokes me.

“It got back to me that you thought sans was pregnant?” She asked through a sputtered laugh. “If I had known you were talking about sans of all monsters I coulda just told you he wasn’t pregnant. I mean given it was hilarious, but don’t repeat literally anything I tell you because as a human you’re not supposed to know.”

“How come? “

“Because we don’t want humans knowing everything about us to use against us later.”

“But how come they taught us monster’s sex ed like reproducing stuff? “

“Oh, that? it's so watered down that it gives you little to no info. It was just enough to get humans to stop saying that we’ve come to steal your women and yada-yada. So, we just told them it was only possible for monsters to have kids with monsters. “

“Is that true? “

“Maybe? No one has ever tried….at least not publicly anyway.”

“Anyway. Back to age. The way it works is the more magic you have the longer you live. I’m an elemental and there aren’t that many of us so I’ll probably live for a few thousand years or until magic stops existing.”

“Thousands of years? What would you even do with all that time?”

“I dunno learn to play the flute?”

I snorted a laugh, and the image of her playing the flight of the bumblebee with a flute shooting fire out the end came to mind.

“But if monsters all have different life spans won't that be harder to find a partner? Like falling in love with someone one-third your life span? “

Fuko thinks about this. capping the nail polish and putting it away. “It can be harder but it still happens pretty regularly. That being said when we die, we die with the person we love.”

I couldn’t help but feel horrified “Do you mean you-“

She held up a hand. “Before you say something weird no, not like that. We die naturally with our partner, not by our own hand or anything. if we loved them and we bond our soul to our partner’s then,” she shrugged.

That was a concept to wrap your head around.

“Oh! But it’s not all sad. If you bond with a monster with a longer life span than yours you split the difference so if my boyfriend and I decide to get real serious he’d live for a thousand years or so…. In theory. “

I guess I could see where her father’s worry came in. If she decided to partner with a human shed be choosing to live a shorter life. She’d be with the person she loved but her father would outlive her by thousands of years.
“That is both very interesting and terrifying.”

“Most things are.” Fuko shrugged “and if we’re still being honest, I was just as intimidated by you when I first met you.”

I balked “ Me? Why?”

“Because you’re human and finding humans that are genuinely unbiased about ‘this’, “ she gestured to herself “ whole situation is pretty rare.”

“Sans said something along those lines the other night.”

“You were with sans…. at night? “ If Fuko had eyebrows they’d be furrowed in confusion.

“Sort of, more like we bumped into each other.”

“Gross is that a ‘euphemism’ ?” she asked, pronouncing the word as if it were the grimiest salacious word she knew. “ I thought you were mated?” She waggled her fingers at me having a little too much fun messing with me.

“Oh stars no. I mean we ran into each other, wait I mean- nvm you know what I mean.” I poked her in her side.

She gave a chuckle.

“Anyway, he kinda walked me home, but he said something like monster kids were getting attacked by humans.”

The humor died immediately “Yeah it’s not just kids though. “

“How come more people aren’t talking about it?”

“Some have tried and they come up missing. Even if we don’t talk some of us go missing. “

There was a pregnant silence. “I’m sorry.” Was all I could offer.

“You aren’t responsible for what other people do. Even if we forget that sometimes.“ Fuko gave me a sad look but hooked an arm over my shoulder. “But if you were walking around late enough to ‘bump into’ sans while he was doing his nightly rounds then you’re out way too late in the wrong areas.”

I shrugged that was fair.

“you’re the closest thing I got to a sister, I don’t need anything bad happening to you….worse happening to you” she corrected.

“you see me as a sister?” I asked, eyes wide.

Fuko responded with a flick to my forehead and a look as deadpanned as she could give. I rubbed at it. “Hey.”

“of course, I see you as a sister! well, a much much younger sister.”

“That’d make you my geriatric sister then.”

“I resent that.”

There was a comfortable silence, and she was putting out waves of that pleasant contentedness that was lulling me into a state of restfulness.

“I always wanted a sister.” I thought out loud. My eyes grew heavy.

Fuko was putting out her happy emotions like a fountain in summer, there was such an overabundance of them that for once I didn’t mind feeling them and being able to share this with her.

“ Let me drive you home you look exhausted.”

I opened my eyes and realized just how late it got. I blinked and nodded “ I should probably start heading back.”

She honestly didn’t look any more awake than me, but I wasn’t going to turn down her offer.

“what about my car?”

“eh don’t worry about it, I can have it dropped off at your place sometime tomorrow if you want.”

I nodded bleary-eyed.

We trudged over to her car, which was loaded up with a pink interior, and cherry blossom accessories. I wanted to say I was surprised but honestly, it suited her in a weird way.

We both climbed in and Fuko made her way down the empty roads at a leisurely pace. The roads were unlit around this area and crickets chirped tranquility in the distance. The first bite of fall weather tipped the night air to borderline chilly, but I kept the window down. My eyes fluttered shut again as we rode.

“thank you,” I spoke into the air fighting sleep in earnest now.

“Ditto Sis.”

Chapter Text

I pulled into May’s driveway. The death grip I had on the steering wheel apparently didn’t get the memo. I managed to painfully unlock my stiff joints digit at a time. Her car -if you could label this death trap a car – might as well be scotch taped together for how flimsy the pieces held onto each other. Her shocks were fucked. If she even had any. It had felt like driving a literal tin can, only that would have felt safer.

The part of me that used to tinker with heavy mechanics itched to get a better look at the engine. It was like a morbid curiosity to see just how far gone the car was and take it as a personal challenge to get It running smoother than a shyren’s tail.

I shook my head, mercifully turning off the engine. That wasn’t what I had been sent to do. I wasn’t about to go and assign myself work. I did take this chance however to slide a tracker between her license plate and the frame before I made the drive over to drop this /thing/ off. So, this trip wasn’t entirely fruitless.

I climb out of her car and the carriage all but levitated off the ground. I frowned.

Shutting the door, I glare at May’s and Lulu’s door. Today was going to be an off day, but I wound up here. In her driveway. I sighed. I didn’t even have the heart to be frustrated, not really. Fuko had been in such a better mood than the last time we spoke. Apparently, she and May had a talk, and whatever May had said did wonders for Fuko.

I scratched the back of my skull. I had that to be thankful for, or I would have if may hadn’t caused the problem to begin with.

I shook my head. That didn’t seem fair.

I let out a sigh, Already feeling exhausted. It would be so much easier to just come out and straight out ask about her intentions. Have the answers and be done with this but a monster wouldn’t just lay out their secrets and neither would a human. Especially a human.

I’m about to knock on the door to let said human know that I brought back their car when I caught a glimpse of movement in my peripheral.

It was a plume of black curly hair.

I squinted.

Where was she off to? It was still early morning, she could’ve waited a few more minutes and she would’ve had her car.

She was a good bit away, already headed out of the gated area and down the hill. If she had noticed the sound of her car rattling through the neighborhood she didn’t show it.

I wiped my hand over my face, my glove caught on a jagged edge along my scar. I grumbled as the snag tore a hole in my palm. This was shaping up to be a great day.

I shoved my hands into my pockets making a mental note to get new ones as I set off to follow her. After a few minutes, I stopped in my tracks.

She was becoming predictable.

She’s here at this park. She followed the same path that she had the first time I tailed her. All but beelining for that secluded path at the far edge of the park. She moved with such a sense of urgency that she might as well have been running.

But when she finally arrived at the mouth of the trail she froze.

Even after her encounter with that human in the woods she still considered going up that path. Her shoulders quivered and she curled into herself before storming off in the opposite direction.

Where was she going? The park was large but it wasn’t endless. Was she looking for another trail to use? Or maybe she was just being cautious because I had been reckless the last time she used that on and heard me?

I found cover as May looked over her shoulders briefly.
Maybe she was more shaken about that night than she let on.

I loosely follow her giving her plenty of space while not putting so much distance between us that I lose sight of her.

Finally, she gives up on whatever search she was on and settles on a bench. It was a small forgotten thing that was almost fully obscured by the long sweeping limbs of a weeping willow tree. It was nestled between two old oaks in a less-than-developed corner of the park. This must have been here before the park was redone when we emerged.

The bench’s back faced the park, which meant she was facing the trunk of the tree where I couldn’t see what she was up to.

I kept my position behind the oak neighboring the weeping willow, but she didn’t leave the bench. Or move.

Why did she always find herself in the most deserted areas to park her ass in. Sure it made things easier, but it was almost too easy. I edge closer, nearing the curtain of branches.

I’m standing behind her, a hand weaving through the branches. She didn’t even notice the shadow that loomed over her. She was seated, her arms around her knees and her head resting on them.

I’m just going to confront her. Pull her into an encounter. Ask her direct questions and put her into a situation where lying would be impossible.

I parted the branches, with both hands and I stood there pulling my magic to me readying myself to call out her soul when I heard….crying.

She was crying.

Her shoulders shook violently and she somehow curled deeper into herself. She hadn’t been resting there or playing at being ignorant of me standing there.

I couldn’t move, I didn’t dare. The purpose I felt draining from me along with the resolve to pull her into an encounter.

What was I doing here?

I've had to follow people before, and it was for work. But I never had to see someone openly sob before. Even when I beat a monster to an inch of dusting they never… sobbed. Even my own sister never let me see her cry like this.

I knew deep in my soul that this was genuine. And it felt twisted that I was standing here watching her display something this…private.

She needed her space today, and if I was being honest I didn’t think I could stomach watching this for much longer.

Maybe I didn’t need to watch her. Not in the Way I have been. Or maybe it’d be better to just stagger the times when I tailed her.

I let the branches drape shut, backing away. Should I just leave? I should leave. Why wasn’t I leaving?

What was I supposed to do? Talk to her?

It wasn’t my business to try and make her feel better. I stood there

I could almost make out the silhouette of her back sitting on the bench through the swaying branches of the weeping willow.

I took a glance around. There still wasn’t anyone here, other than her. She managed to find her way here when it was the most secluded.
Even if She hadn’t gone up the trail, her being so close to the mountains wasn’t exactly the safest place to be either, especially since I hadn’t been able to track down that creep from the other night.

May was always out where she shouldn’t be. Always out at the wrong places at the wrong times. She had just narrowly escaped an attack in the woods, and here she's fucking getting-snatched- distance of more woods. But if you were doing things that you shouldn't be, secluded areas made sense.

Normal people would’ve stayed home after an experience like that. From the looks of things Lulu probably didn’t even know about the whole situation or she wouldn’t even have been working the register yesterday.

I hesitated outside of the curtain of branches and let out a huff before sweeping them aside with my arm.

“how come Every time I see you you’re crying.”

May hiccupped and turned in her seat. It takes a second for her to recognize me.

Stars it took me a moment to recognize her. her face was puffy and her eyes and nose were red. For a brief second I was about to apologize and say I had the wrong human.

“wha- why-“

Nope it was her.

“youre noisy.”

“Huh every time? You-“ She turned and wiped her face violently. “I don’t know what you're talking about.” Her voice is thick with the sobs she could barely hold in. “when was the last time you’ve seen me cry?” she blubbered. Trying and failing to hide the sobs in her voice.

“And you must think I'm stupid,” I said ignoring the question. I had let that slip, the last time I saw her crying was during her walk towards that secluded park she almost got attacked at. “Its’ not exactly a secret, you look like shit.”

“Stars! Did you come here just to insult me? “ her voice broke “why are you here? Are you following me or something?”

I feigned offense and huffed. “don’t flatter yourself, you know why I walk through parks.”

May sniffled but she nodded after a bit. “sorry, yeah I forgot.”

“an’ I meant you look like you and sleep are on bad terms.”

May had dark spots under her eyes, which were puffed up from the excessive rubbing. Even though she had been knocked out when I left, from what I’d seen from the last few days she wasn’t looking too good.

She nodded “yeah .” She took a few settling breaths and did her best to feign calm. It irked me to see an expression on her so close to what I’ve seen Fuko make. Like they were used to having to mask tears. Seeing it on skin instead of flames didn’t make much difference, the look was there.

Without another word, I plopped my huge self on this sorry-ass small-ass bench. I leaned back and looked up into the center of the almost uniform branches of the weeping willow. The bench creaked in protest until I found a comfortable position. I did her the favor of not watching her cry but it didn’t make it less awkward. What was I doing ? this was the exact opposite of what I needed to be doing.

May’s hiccupping stopped and her sniffles slowed.

I could feel her eyes on me, but I didn’t look down to meet them. She was probably wondering what I was doing here too.

“what.”

“Im trying to figure out what I want to say first.” Her voice was still heavy with tears she tried to stifle.

The wind swept through and turned the tree we sat under into a windchime made of swaying branches. I didn’t break the silence and let her figure out what she wanted to start with. At least she wasn’t crying as hard anymore and had calmed into a quiet hiccupping.

“I know you know.”

She broke the silence. I side-eyed her, she wasn’t looking at me. I watched her expression, it was a bleak mask of hopelessness.

I knew? About her having magic? About her having bad intentions? That she kept trying to go up the mountain?

She didn’t elaborate, and I didn’t reply. Maybe if I gave her enough time shed explain on her own.

“how much did you see? Before you took me home?”

I considered that for a moment. “ enough to know there was something wrong if that’s what you mean.”

There was a beat, and I spoke to try and pry more information out of her. “you aren’t the first.”

She gave me her full attention then. Her eyes were wide.
“let’s say I’m more observant than most.”

“Is that why I can't read you?” She asked, so quietly that I almost misheard. Read me? Like, tell my expression? It wasn’t the first time I’d heard that but where did that come from?

I just shrugged. “probably”

“do you know what causes this, why it’s so hard to manage?

“It usually has to do with your soul,” I squinted at her, seeing that her stats were wildly off-kilter from what would be considered normal. They were still obscured. With her this close her stats still read as if she weren’t there at all. “Altering it long term can be fatal for humans.” It was a half-truth, but it was justified if it got her to show me her real stats.

I never met someone monster or human who could purposely obscure their stats. Especially when they conveniently got impossible to read the closer she was to me.

“you...mentioned my soul when you first met me.” She said quietly “is it bad?”

“could be.”

May was silent for a long time.

“could you help me?”

I shrugged. “ depends.”

I glared down at her. She was only owed one favor, what was she going to ask for? That I forget this conversation? Or that I pretend she was a normal human that wasn’t masquerading as this innocent tiny little thing.

“I want you to look at my soul”

If I had a heart it would’ve stopped. I felt my eyelights go out.

“come again?”

“ My soul.” She repeated. Ser lack of self-confidence could’ve looked like bashfulness under the untrained eye but regardless I found myself leaning away from her. The conversation had nosedived so quickly into territory that I wasn't prepared for that I almost physically bolted.

She started talking faster at my expression.I couldnt feel my face, I didnt even know what face I was making. I had to blink to jumpstart my brain.

“I can't look at it myself so I was hoping if you looked at it for me, or maybe helped me look at it so-“

I held a hand up. Hoping she’d stop. I covered my face with my other hand.

Stars have mercy.

Thankfully the universe had compassion because May did stop talking. For the briefest of seconds, I had actually considered it. I saw her eyes fringed with her dark lashes and her lips slightly swollen from just a few minutes ago before I vehemently shook the loose thought before it arrived at its final destination. I knew May hadn’t meant what she said in that way. As an insult to injury the blunt way she put it had me wanting to port away somewhere and hopefully dust.

“you're glowing?”

I was blushing too? What was this grade school? Stars this was the worst day of my life. I huffed, rubbing my temples willing the glow to fade.

“lemme get this straight.” I gesture to her with two flat hands “you want /me/. To see YOUR soul. For medical reasons.” Even though I knew this is what she meant, saying the words calmed my soul enough to think clearly.

She nodded.

I wanted to tell her flat out no. to leave. She didn’t understand the implications. Or maybe she did. Having her should out didn’t just make her vulnerable, it made me vulnerable too. If she knew more than she was letting on then if she wanted to attack then that’d be the perfect opportunity.

But wasn’t this essentially what I wanted? Just on more…..friendlier terms? I swallowed. If she really was all sunshine and rainbows and my distrust of her was all something that I'd been convincing myself of then, this was ideal. But this just felt like more risk than gain.

“why me? Why not any other monster? Like Lulu. “

“I can't ask her for help.”

“how am I any better?”

“ You already know,” she lets out a settling breath, “Plus you're not all that bad. Not really”

The fuck was that supposed to mean. was it just a matter of preference? I shook my head I was arguing against what I've been after since I've known her. To find out her intentions, to find out if she really was a threat.

But here we are, the proposition to have those answers fall right into my lap.

She sighed. “I'll be honest I'm desperate. I... I just want this to go away.”

“fine.”

Her tired eyes looked up at me with hope. “really?”

“you owe me.”

She nodded and smiled. She finally uncurled from her seated ball on her side of the bench, sitting upright. “how do we do this?”

“do what?”

“aren’t you going to look at my soul?”

I looked down at her hard. She was serious.

I reached down and flicked her hard on the forehead.

“Hey!”

“not now dumbass.” She had just got through bawling her eyes out and now she wanted me to just pull it out of her in public. “no one can see me do this for you. Stars, you cant /tell/ anyone that I'm doing this for you.”

“Because it’s magic?”

I opened my mouth to say because it’d be like telling someone that you propositioned me to fondle you but I shut my mouth. “yeah that.”

She nodded.

“thank you, not just for this…but for everything lately.”

“ ‘Thank you this', ‘I appreciate' that. don’t get your panties in a twist just because I made sure you got home.” I waved my hand to dismiss the entire sentiment, but honestly, I was just happy to be off the topic of souls. “that’s what a decent monster is suppost’a do.”

“but I thought monsters didn’t-“

“so now the human is gonna tell me how monsters are suppost’a behave?”

I rose an eyebrow at her and shot her a sardonic smile.

She gave a weak laugh “ no offense but I feel like monsters have no problem telling me how they think I should act. “ even though she sounded downright hoarse there was a spark of sass in her tone.

This was getting interesting. She’d always been so timid and quiet, this was the first time I heard her talking back.

“and what’ve ya heard that a human should act like?”

“humans are all big and bad, evil even. But I’m just out trying to sit in the sun and take a nap. I don’t get how that’s evil.” She leaned back, her wild hair curtaining between where she and I sat, obscuring her face.

“pfft, a nap? That was the best example ya could come up with to prove that you’re harmless?”

She gave me a look that said I was the dumbest monster on the surface “Have you seen yourself? You’re like three times my size. The worst I could do is make your neck ache from looking down to talk to me.”

She huffed “Plus isn’t the saying something like ‘the wicked never sleeps’? by that logic I can’t be evil because napping is my favorite hobby” She said it so dry and offhandedly that sounded like fact.

That got a hearty laugh outta me. “you know something, that has to be the most relatable thing I’ve ever heard you say. ”

“oh? So my acquaintance is also a nap connoisseur? never would have guessed.”

“one could even call me a siesta-masta”

She grimaced “ that one was bad.”

“Don’t hate on a quality pun just because you couldn’t come up with it.”

She rested her other cheek on her knee to look at me “ now those are fighting words.”

“I’m still not hearing any puns.”

May opened her mouth and when she couldn’t think of one she shut it.

I couldn’t hold back the guffaw that escaped when she made a face like someone just served her a plate of the moldsmall special.

“Don’t laugh, maybe I couldn’t tell you the pun because it would be a ‘conflict’ of interest.” I looked down at her and I could see a puffy eye peeking to watch my reaction.

“That….has to be the lamest pun ever. It was barely even a pun! You set yourself up with ‘fighting words and you-” The guffaw that I had earlier rolled into a full-on belly laugh.

“hey, it counts! You’re even laughing! “ she protested.

“yeah because it's so! Bad!” I struggled to get words between breaths.

“This is the real reason why we can't be friends!” she grumbled.

“why cus you can't make a pun to save ya life?” I asked through wheezes.

Her pouting face only served to make me laugh harder. I couldn’t help but notice may join in after a bit.

I let out a sigh as the laughter settled down. “ I haven’t laughed like that in a while.”

“I’m glad I could help.” May said sarcastically.

“so.”

“so?”

“you know what I'm gonna ask you don’t you?” it really isn’t my business, and she didn’t have any obligation to answer if she didn’t want to. But curiosity was going to make an ass of me today.

She didn’t respond so I continued with my question anyway.

“what’s with the tears?”

Mays eyebrows furrowed, her lips pursing. The crumb of mirth that had only started showing on her face up and died.

It was silent for an uncomfortably long time, and I was convinced she wasn’t going to answer.

“I don’t get you.” She sighed.

“I am helping you with your….situation. ‘Least you can do is kill my curiosity.”

“If I tell you, can we pretend like you didn’t see that?”

I gave a one-shoulder shrug. “go around n tell people I saw a human crying? I have better things to do.”

her lips pursed into a tense line She looked away.

“Family stuff.”

She turned away from me completely, leaving me only with her dejected voice as a clue to what she was actually thinking. “ I feel like lately life has thrown every and any curve ball it can. I was just gunna get some time alone to think and instead...” She let out a shaky sigh.

“I mean, that’s well and all but if you were gunna go bawl your eyes out why’re you doing it in public?”

Her face swiveled to look at me then, she met me with a blatant expression that said she thought I was the biggest idiot. “ think about it. Who is home right now?”

Lulu.

So May wasn’t completely oblivious. She was aware of how much lulu cared about her. at least to an extent.

I shrugged “ yeah I guess It makes sense.”

“why do you care? Weren’t you the one who said that you didn’t want to be all…’buddy-buddy’?”

“and I don’t.”

“care? or be ‘buddy-buddy?’”

“stop sayin’ that it's getting on my nerves.”

“ they’re your words.”

“Big words coming from a human that was just bawling their eyes out like a minute ago. Plus, they sound better coming outta my mouth.”

May scoffed, “ sure,” she turned away from me again.

There was a silence and we both listened to the branches of the willow sway. She didn’t seem to care that I was sitting here, which was good. What mattered was she wasn’t crying anymore. Not that it mattered really, but at least she stopped.

So, my job here was pretty much done.

But now that I’ve gotten comfortable, I didn’t want to move. Which somehow felt like an excuse. Really, for the first time I felt genuinely curious. This was the first time she’s dropped the sweet goody-goody act and gave me something to work with. Something that felt more genuine, at least to me.

“you know, I haven’t been here in Ebott for more than about a year. I spent so much time holed away, and now I just feel like. I don’t know, a fish out of water. Or like the ‘normal’ I’m looking for doesn’t exist.”

I knew the feeling. After every loop I held onto the hope that things would get better, that I wouldn’t have to go through more shit just to get to a slightly better ending. Until it didn’t matter anymore.

“I came here thinking things would be better”

My soul twisted. This wasn’t what I wanted to talk about today. There was no way she knew about my past, but she was echoing my own problems just the same.

“at least you're not seeking out the same old bullshit.”

May didn’t respond with anything other than a nod. “yeah,”

“How come you're spilling your guts to me?”

“ I mean you asked.” May sat there for a bit in idle thought. “Plus I didn’t really mean to. it’s just. There’s no pressure you know? I know that you don’t like me, so it’s like”

“What I think doesn’t matter.” I said deadpan.

There was a beat of silence. “I mean I wouldn’t put it that way, but I guess.”

I should’ve felt irked, but I could appreciate the brutal honesty.

I glanced at May from the corner of my eye. When she was looking forward like this all I could see was the top of her head. Sitting there with her face on her knees she looked ridiculously small. Too small for me to have to worry about being a threat.

A part of me wants to admit that I didn’t think that she was. But.

The vivid imagery of Red splayed out on cracked yellow tiles abruptly resurfaced before I could get ahold of the memory to submerge it again. The small chance I was wrong could mean a reset. It would mean this was all for nothing.

I let out a deep sigh,

May bristled at the break in silence before slowly relaxing again. a breeze swept through the willow branches in a whispered whistle.

“It is a nice day isn’t it.”

I hadn’t been paying attention to the weather, but it was a break from the usual sweltering days that we had been plagued with lately. “I guess.”

The once peaceful silence became oppressive, and I couldn’t sit and listen to the wind anymore.

I slowly rose to stand.

I could feel May’s eyes on me as I got up.

“So, May,”

“I have a proposition.”

She didn’t answer, but I had her full attention.

“A truce.”

“A truce?”

“Yep”

“Why do we need a truce?”

“Cus well, I don’t see why there can't be.” I felt my brow bones furrow. Did she not want a truce? Was her apology yesterday half-assed?

“Well, I sorta figured that with you agreeing to help me out and the other night we were already in a truce, sort of thing.”

A beat passed. And then another.

It was that simple?

“Really.”

“mhmm.”

“all you really wanted was a ride. “

She nodded.

“No other ploy or ulterior motive or some shit.”

May let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m starting to wonder if I should feel offended.” She didn’t move but repositioned her head from where they leaned against her knees and looked at me. “ in a short answer, yes? I mean no? whichever means that im not doing something sketchy by not wanting to spend the energy hating someone I barely know.”

I thought about that. And looked her over.

“alright then.”

She nodded.

“so what does your version of a truce mean? Just so I can avoid you breaking into my house in the dead of night?”

“ forgetting that ever happened could be a start.”

She nodded.

She lets out a deep breath of her own, sounding a lot more settled. “can I ask you something? If you promise to answer?”

“er no. Ill hear it and if I wanna answer it I will.”

She made a face like I was being unnecessarily stubborn and I rolled my eyelights. “If I agreed to that it would have to go both ways and something tells me that you wouldn’t be onboard to answer any and all questions.”

She nodded. “fair enough.”

“Could you tell me why you’ve been… I guess hostile with me since we’ve first met, er I guess you weren’t the whole time I thought we were sort of amicable for a bit. Is it really because of my soul?”

“I mean playing video games was nice. Is it just because I’m human? Or is it just because a human that looks like me peed in your cheerios or…?”

She asked the question as if she were asking me why I liked one chisp flavor over another. Like the answer wasn’t weighted, it was just there for me to take or leave. For once I didn’t feel the strong apprehension I usually did. It just felt like I was having a normal conversation, without the hostility that I usually had directed at me.

I stood there and put my hands in my pockets. It was enough to make my resolve crumble to just-

I was snapped out of my train of thought by a twig snapping. I turned to eye it, there was a small group of humans in the park walking down the path that would end up passing where we sat.

“It’s complicated,”

“oh… okay.”

That was a better option. I was too calm, too relaxed. It wasn’t like me to not be aware of my surroundings. I made my way to leave.

“About what we talked about, Face up to your problems. Moping about it isn’t helping anyone.”

I could feel her eyes on me the entire way as I left the park.

I really needed to take my own advice.

Chapter Text

I hadn't moved from where I sat on the bench. Sans had left what felt like an hour ago. And I was still staring down at my phone. My finger was hovering over the call button under my fathers name and had been for the last thirty minutes or so.

I mulled over sans’s words…..stop running from my problems...I told myself. All I did was run from them. I ignored issues, or ran away from them all together. Just like my attacks, just like my relationships.

I closed my eyes and pressed dial.

I haven't texted him in what felt like forever. Forever in this case being when I still was roommates with emily.

I remembered how excited I had been to finally hear from him, but I was equally bitter about it. It had been years. Over fifteen years in fact, and the moment I was beginning to start a new life he had decided that now…now was the time he would make an appearance. To be active in my life. When I was beginning to make progress on forgetting alot of the memories that plagued me. Him included.

But…there was a part of me that hated that I craved to see him again. To go back to those times of having a father, who sat with me and spent time with me. Accepted me.

I had been such a mess when I finally got back into contact with him that I wound up just making the promise to come and visit him one day. He had asked and I had sent the message off. Regretting it immediately.

I felt like I was forgiving him too easily, hating myself for missing him so much. For loving him despite…everything. It felt like a betrayal to myself.

That was almost a year ago.

Since then, I hadnt responded to any of his messages. Too conflicted in my own feelings to know what to say. How to truly start. So instead I just….never said anything at all.

My breath shook. How many times had I thought about just calling him? to ask him all the questions I never could growing up. But now after the click of him picking up on the other end I'm greeted by a thick silence. one that I didn't have a single clue how to break.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the call being picked up.

It's quiet for a long moment. I floundered for words but they never came. In the face of my uncertainty the silence stretched excruciatingly.

"...hello?" the simple word breaking the silence for me.

I flinched at the sound of his voice that I haven't heard since I was a child.

I blinked trying to steady my thoughts. Right, hello. That…that'd be a start.

"...hello," My voice was barely over a whisper. I was still hoarse from crying.

"May honey...is that you?" My memories of his voice hadn't done it any justice. Even after all these years his deep timbre was as soft as it had been the last time I’d heard it.

The sound of his old nickname for me was staggering, he said it like it was easy. As if he had just called me that yesterday. Like it was natural.

I didn't answer. But the silence was enough for him I guess, because he didn't hesitate to start talking. Talking more than I ever remember him doing. It was as if he was trying to get all his thoughts out at once, spurred by worry I'd hang up on a moment's notice.

Which if I was being honest was a fair assumption to make.

"I've missed you, I didn't think- I thought you- Or maybe that you changed your number so I've been-"

"Dad," I interrupted, trying to get him to collect his thoughts. But the single word felt foreign coming out of my mouth.

When was the last time I really spoke about him? said the word? Not father but dad?

He stopped talking. I didn't need to be there with him to know he was weary. That this call was a formality just to tell him that I never wanted to talk to him again. But hadn't I wanted that before?

I shook my head. No, I wanted closure, answers really. What I didn't know was how to start. Where did I even begin to address the last few years? He mistook the pause in conversation as my uncertainty and didn't let the silence stretch on too long before breaking it.

“ I know…..I know, there's a lot to talk about. If it's okay, would you like to sit down and talk over dinner?"

I wanted to say no out of spite, to reject him the way I felt rejected. But What sans said was still
replaying in my ears. Face my problems. Plus I had made the promise to my father to come visit. I reasoned with myself. Even if I hadn't really meant it, it had been a promise. I could go just this once. It was more than he ever had...I sucked in a rattling breath.

"....sure. What time?"

His voice was kind, albeit nervous. "Would you be open to coming tonight? Unless it's far, I know you've moved but I was never given an idea where."

As if my mother would have told him where I was. She gave him just enough information to torment the both of us. I had his address from his ‘digital letters’ he's sent over the last few months. It was definitely a drive, but it was doable. Briefly, I checked to see how many days were left until a visit for scott. Only two days. Heading over now wouldn't overlap with seeing scott.

"I'll be there." I said before I could change my mind.

"Okay hun. How does seven sound? Because we could have things set up early if you'd want."
Even though he didn't mean to, the 'we' in that sentence tore a hole in me. I almost forgot that
The house I'd be walking into wouldn't just be his, it'd be his new family's.

I took a calming breath. "Sevens fine."

I didn't wait for the awkward formalities to say goodbye. I hung up. I was already regretting agreeing to go. But if I didn't say I could come tonight I'd lose my nerve.
Sitting here and moping doesn't help anyone. I looked up through the tree, the sun must be overhead now because it was throwing light through the
leaves, turning the ground into a prismatic spatter of sunspots.

When I stepped inside of our house I was surprised to see a covered casserole dish on the dining room table.

The sticky note attached read

“EAT THIS YOU'RE TOO WEAK..”

The handwriting was large and blocky and extremely neat. There was no name attached but just by the note alone I had a pretty solid guess that this was papyrus’s doing.

picked up the warm casserole, steam clouded the inside of the clear lid. It looked meatless, but made with human food, not a single trace of magic in the batch. I smiled faintly at the consideration that papyrus must have put into this.

I wonder how he knew that I didn't eat meat? Or maybe it was a coincidence?

I’d need to remember to give papyrus a proper thank you later.

I carried the casserole to the kitchen and I found Lulu stress baking sweets. Her emotions flickered from one thing to the next, not lingering on one too long before another was either replaced or layered over the last. I frowned, fighting the rising nausea over the cacophony of sensations she was sending my way and skirted around her to slide the casserole into the fridge. We hadn't talked about the store situation, and honestly I really didn't want to either.

Lulu was mixing up a batch of…something. Stirring the bowl by hand vigorously. So I left her to do her thing while I left to go and get ready.

By the time I was finished, Lulu was pulling out what looked like her signature cinnabuns. Placing them on a wire rack that sat on the counter. Next to them was my long forgotten tupperware I had brought over to her family’s house when I visited for dinner.

She finally looked up and noticed me standing there in a change of clothes. Her ear twitched inquisitively, a wave of mild itchiness passing over me for only a instant before it's replaced with concern when her gaze lingers on my face. It was probably still a little puffy from crying. Even though I had used a cool washcloth to help some of the swelling.

She doesn't make mention of it though and instead asks. “You headed out?”

“Yeah, I'm going to go see my father.”

She tilted her head, trying to discern the mood I was in. “Is that a good thing or?”

I shrugged. I honestly didn't know.
.

“Is..everything alright?” I asked.

I felt a swing of guilt from her. Was she still feeling put off because of what happened or was something else going on?

She looked like she was about to say that she was alright before thinking better of it. Her shoulders drooped. “there probably isn't any point in lying if you can feel….” she trailed off. Her guilt roiled,

“I hate to have to leave you here by yourself but, I’ll have to take care of some things back on the family property.” she averted her gaze.

I could tell that she wasn't being entirely truthful, but I didn't want her to feel like I was interrogating her by asking more questions. Especially because I probably shouldn't have asked in the first place. If she wanted to talk about it she would have. She knows I’m aware that something’s bothering her, and me bringing it up was just the exact opposite of what lulu told me not to do.

I needed to mind my own business. Questions like those were threats, not comfort for monsters.

I couldn't help the frown. I didn't want her to feel forced to have to tell me things that she didn't want to. I quickly tried to fix my expression before she interpreted that as sadness about the news she told me.

“I might be hard to get a hold of me for the next few days, but if you need me in an emergency sans has my emergency line.'' She gave me an apologetic look. “ I probably won't be here more than to grab an item or two for about a month.”

I nodded, but didnt say anything. This felt oddly familiar, mirroring other times that the effects of what I could do scared off people. But this time it hurt because I thought she understood my condition, that she accepted it. Acceptance doesn't necessarily mean that you're okay with something though. Sometimes it just means you understood it.

While she put up a neutral front I didn't mention anything about the sour note of sadness that swept through her. Lulu cleared her throat. “I made these for you, they were originally for the week but if you want I could slide them into your container to take with you.” she offered. Feather light hopefulness filled the space between us as she watched to see if I'd accept them.

I nodded, “ yeah, thank you.” I offered her a small smile and went to put on my shoes as she boxed my apology cinnabuns. The usual excitement I had for them diminished by the news, and the plans I had for tonight .

The fact that she had to leave and go handle things was more than fine, but with the overpowering feeling of guilt and sadness lingering in the room I couldn't shake the feeling that she was actively trying to avoid me. But maybe that's just me projecting my own past experiences on her.

It would’ve made more sense if she felt disgust or even fear. But I couldn't catch any of those emotions. Maybe I was overthinking it.

I slid my handbag over my shoulder and got ready to leave.

Lulu came around the corner with her own container.

It was obvious she was lost in thought. “Be safe on your trip,” she said, handing me the still warm dessert.

“Thanks lulu, I will,” I gave her a smile that I hoped gave off the impression that I was unaware of how distant she was being. I didn't want her to feel like she had less of a choice about what she did and didn't share with me.

I didn't have a chance to even step all the way out of the door before she blurted. “Hey don't worry about the shop for a while, one of my cousins is going to be trained to take over while I'm gone.”

My eyebrows rose, a cousin?

“am..I fired?” I had to stop my face from falling into a disappointed grimace. While that’d suck….it wasn't as if I couldn't see why.

I had made myself a spectacle at her shop. I knew for sure three people knew pretty intimately just how messed up the attacks can be. And those were just the people I knew. That didn't even include everyone else that had been in the shop. Which to my dismay, probably was a lot considering how busy the store had been before I had collapsed.

Her shock was staggering. Stars, If I Had been flash banged it would’ve probably been less startling, but the reaction successfully staggered me out of my bleak train of thought.

“No!” she hurried to correct me,her paws flailing. “This is temporary, to give you and customers time to, you know,” she was struggling with words but we both knew she was going to say ‘time to forget’ but decided to change the subject instead. “ You won't be losing pay, I'll still have them leave the check on the counter.” she looked at me worriedly now.

I’d felt bad taking the money when I hadn't worked in so long and for the one day that I had, I caused a commotion. I shook my head,

“You don't have to worry about it, I have enough saved up until I can come back to work.” I gave her another reassuring smile before I hurried to my car in the most casual way.

If her compounding guilt was anything to go by, I hadn't been fooling anyone with my hasty retreat. The overwhelming sensation followed me to the end of the driveway while I tried to pretend to be oblivious. I could finally breathe when she returned inside and closed the door.

I stiffened at the frigid breeze that cut through my thin top. It had been warm earlier, but autumn had finally begun. I considered going back in to grab something to cover my arms with but that’d mean going back in there with Lulu.

…it wasn't that cold. Plus, it wasn't as if I'd be outside all that much anyway.

I set the rolls down on the passenger's seat. Their aroma wafted off of the container as I shut the door. As much as I wanted them they would probably have some lingering swirls of lulu's feelings in them. A sigh escaped me. I'd deal with that later.
I added my father's address into my navigation, and my car rattled to life. It was alarmingly louder than usual. The temperature had dropped so maybe it needed to warm up before I headed out. I eyed how far I'd need to drive and shrugged.

It wasn't that long ago since I had my car serviced, and I've definitely driven this car farther in worse conditions without much of a problem. I put my car in reverse. Enough stalling I needed to go. Sitting here and coming up with excuses for my car wasn't going to solve anything.

The ride was agonizingly long. Long enough to replay our relationship over in my head. Turning over every memory I had of my father.

Analyzing and reanalyzing everything I didn't understand about what had happened between us.

How he had gotten so angry when I told him I wanted to stay with him.

How he told me that things would be okay, that he'd visit.

How we both stood on the porch of my mother’s house. Who, to me at the time, was a perfect stranger.

I had never met her, and he had barely ever spoken of her.

How his hand squeezed mine to reassure me as we both entered the house. Even though I could feel just how on edge he was.

How he talked to my mother about me that day when he thought I couldn't overhear, just two rooms over from where he had left me in a living room filled with deep purple wallpaper and overly stylized decorations. So many and so intricately made that they had made my head hurt to look at.

I had tiptoed to go and listen by the edge of the doorway in what I believed was the dining room. And listened.

I distinctly remember the rage from the room. And…disgust. It was the only time I ever felt that from my father. At first I had thought that maybe, those feelings belonged to my mother. But as I grew older and revisited the memory I knew that wasn't the case. She didn't feel.

“She’s here now. Like you wanted.” my father said. His voice was calm despite the internal turmoil that roiled inside of him.

“Don't treat me like the villain . You know you've been struggling with her.” her voice was velvet and taunting. She wasn't even offended. If I had seen her face then, no doubt her expression would have been as flat as her emotions were.

“.....I have,” he admitted. The rage he felt turning into shame, and with it I felt my own stomach flop.

“I told you you would, and here you are years later.”

“Don't start. We both know why we’re here.”

“Because you couldn't handle her gifts. How strong are they now anyway” she hummed.

“.......”

“I guess it doesn't matter. I'll have plenty of time to find out.”

I took a settling breath. Trying to bring myself into the here-and-now instead of reliving the past. I was parked outside of the address he gave me. It was a little suburban cul de sac. With…turf for front lawns and actual white picket fences. The houses were all nearly identical except minor layout changes, color and lawn ornaments. I blinked up at his house...his family’s house. I held none of the cozy personal atmosphere of his cabin. There wasn't any sign of him on the house itself. And I couldn't swallow just how wrong that felt.

I lifted the weighty container of cinnamon buns. And unbuckled my seat belt to reluctantly swing my legs out of my car.

I re-read the address for the fifth time and yes. This was the correct house. Painted in nautical blue whites and grays. I made my way to their porch. And stood there in front of their door. Which was a latticework of metal and frosted glass. The soft light from the other side gently illuminated their darkened porch.

I stood there for much longer than was probably normal. Spurred on by the cold night air, I finally managed to ring the doorbell.

It only took a moment for a silhouette to approach and darken the little bit of light that the door cast.

It opened, and there stood a woman no taller than me.

She had a round face and short curly auburn hair. All of her features were round and kind.

"Oh! Hi," the woman said, blinking at me when her eyes slid to the container I held. Something must've clicked because realization hit her. “You must be May! Sorry I'm a bit frazzled. You're a little early but we just finished setting the table!" she beamed, but I could still feel the distinct nervousness that rolled off of her.

She must be aware of me and my father's relationship. Or lack thereof. She opened the door for me and I followed her in. to my surprise she hadn't even bothered locking the door behind her.

I glanced around the house, there were kids toys strewn around the mudroom, women's and children's shoes filled the little cubby by the door. Well worn men's work shoes sat beside the cubby who I could only assume were my father's.

I stepped out of my boots, noting that my stepmother had not been barefoot. I placed my shoes next to the door and followed her lead to the dining room.

Even with most of the lights off in the unoccupied areas of the house it was clear that it was strictly tidier than the mudroom. There was barely a trace of there being kids in the house outside of the occasional picture.nothing here felt like my father. Everything looked like it was straight out of a magazine catalog.there was a rising lump in my throat. I don't know why I was so desperate to see something familiar. Anticipating coming across a little carved knick knack or some of his hunting materials but not coming across a single thing as she led me through the house.

I rounded the corner to the lit dining room and was surprised to see two boys already at the table. One sat fidgety, impatient to eat from the looks of it, and the other was sitting in a highchair eating some sort of cheerio like snack. I had only found out recently about my baby brother, but I hadn't known that my father also had an older son. He looked like had to be at least six years old.

They were both the spitting image of my father, and they looked nothing like me. I swallowed, an ugly feeling clenching my throat.

My stepmother doesn't notice this though. She was too busy trying to finish setting up.

"It's so sweet of you to bring a dish, I feel like a bad host having you cook to attend our little dinner.” and she really did feel guilty that I had brought food, but also she still enjoyed the gesture. Maybe she wasn't used to the favor being returned when it came to hospitality?

“It’s just a small dessert…no worries.” I attempted to return the smile she gave me. Even if I was on edge.

“Feel free to have a seat wherever, I'll let your father know that you're here."
With that she hurried out of the room, and I could hear her feet quickly patter up the stairs. I glanced at the table and noticed the hearty choices. A roast, green beans with bacon bits, and soup. I frowned, placing the rolls and casserole down on the table. It didn't look like I would be able to eat anything besides what I bought myself. not unless she made the soup with vegetable stock.

I wasn't really hungry to begin with...but the fact that my father forgot something so important about me made my stomach drop. I bit the inside of my cheek and made my way over to a seat.

"Are you my sister?"

My eyes lifted to meet the voice.
The boy toyed with his napkin as he stared across the table at me. He was the spitting image of my father but he sported his mothers hair color.

" I am." I pulled out a chair and took a seat across from him, with my back to the entrance of the room.

"aren't you too old to be my sister?" he asked, snidely. He was feeling jealous. Why would a little kid have any reason to feel jealous of me? He was the one living with his father.

I shrugged. "Maybe, how old are you anyway?" I tried to keep my tone light.

"I'm seven and a half." He said matter of factly.

I did the mental math on how many years after my father left me with my mother before he had him. the sinking feeling grew. I didn't know what face I was making but it must not have been the best because my brother stuck his tongue out at me and decided he was bored with the conversation, and began sneaking some of the snacks off his younger brother's tray.

The sound of heavier, more distinct footsteps descended the stairs, and through the entryway of the dining room came a tall, salt and peppered man, wearing a button up and jeans.
He looked…aged. He didn't stand as tall under the weight of the years that had passed. But he still towered over me, easily more than six feet tall. His beard was trimmed closer to his face, no longer the thick profile I was used to. His brown hair brushed back neatly.

He didn't look well, but that could just be me having a hard time reconciling my memory of him with what I could see now. It had been over a decade. He was probably somewhere in his fifties now.

His eyes brightened, like he hadn't really thought that I'd show up. While his expression was mostly stoic, the joy he felt when his eyes searched my face to verify that yes, it was me. And yes I was really there. If his joy could've been used as energy the entire country would have enough power to run for weeks.

He took an eager step forward with his arms outstretched. He made a move to give me a hug, before thinking better of it. Growing sheepish. The elation dampened when he saw the hesitant look on my face, and when I didn't stand to receive a hug his arms slowly dropped, a hand going behind his neck to rub awkwardly.

“Hey there May.” warm. He was still warm. It was the only truly familiar thing i've felt so far.

It made my heart clench almost painfully with nostalgia. But…it still didn't feel right. My lips pursed into a tight line and I grimaced. Why wasn't I happier about that? Had I been expecting something different?

I couldn't speak. It was a lot to take in to see him after so many years. To absorb that…despite everything he still felt the same. The same warm disposition, the same soft way he held his gaze. As if outside of having a few gray hairs and a whole new family he was...still him.

I frowned. Somehow feeling relieved and betrayed all at once. I guess he could be himself just fine for his new family.

His wife looked on nervously before announcing. “May! you even set your dessert in the perfect spot. I know I’ve already said so, but thank you so much for taking the time to make something.” she said, her sunny disposition twinged with worry and nervousness.she glanced between me and my father. Who, more than he was nervous, was sad? Why was he sad?

“Thank you,” I tried my best to smile politely, to try and like her. She had been with him for years now and stars above, anyone could see that this was a much healthier relationship than he could have ever hoped to dream of having with my mother. But it didn't stop the resentment I felt for both of them from tightening my chest.

They sat down at the table. Chairs squeaking, and the table shifting.

It’s awkward.

After they all settled at the table the silence became deafening. I tried to be polite and not watch them as my father and his wife exchanged meaningful glances at one another. Which was more of a courtesy than it was for giving them privacy because I could easily piece together what the looks meant without having to look.

Nervousness answered by reluctance quashed by irritation followed by compassion before all that was left of the brief exchange was resolve. This all played out in the span of a few seconds.

“So, uh. I forgot something important.” My father broke the silence timidly.

I looked up from where I had been pretending to fiddle with a utensil. And I looked up at my father. I settled my gaze somewhere on his eyebrows. Just to be careful.

“Like what?” I ask. Had he realized that I wouldn't be able to eat the food?

“I forgot to introduce you to everyone.” he said sheepishly. “This is my wife Amber,” he says softly. And it's apparent just how much he loves her.

Amber…I can't help but think that's fitting. Wasn't the only Christmas gift that my father gave me an amber necklace? I let my mind wander a bit trying to remember if I still even had it or if I had left it at my mothers.

My attention is pulled away from my thoughts when Amber gives me a sheepish smile, but it's warm and genuine. She's…hopeful. But for what? For this meeting to go well? Or for me to like her?

I try to keep my smile soft, to not let it tighten uncomfortably. The feelings I had towards her weren't even her fault. They were all just second hand by association with my father.

Amber stood to go and make the boys plates. The eldest is protesting when she ladles him a heaping portion of green beans.

“ and these two rascals are Aiden and Christian.”

At the sound of his name Aiden’s head snapped up. He was the older of the two, and now that he had a plate full of vegetables -beef and soup notwithstanding- he let his ire settle on me. As if I was the reason why he had to eat something green.

“Nice to meet you.” I told him. And I sort of mean it, even though I can tell that Aiden really didn't like me.

I had always wanted a sibling. but It wasn't as if I had been hoping for a close connection like siblings who were raised together had. Not with there being more than fourteen years apart between us. But it wasn't as if I wanted him to hate me either.

Aiden gave me a disgruntled look, but didn't answer and instead pushed around his food on his plate. Prolonging the inevitable.

“Aiden, be nice, that’s your big sister May. now what do you say?” Amber chastises before my father could get the chance.

“Nice to meet you tooo.” Aiden said begrudgingly. It was obvious he didn't mean it, but he was a kid who probably felt threatened by the appearance of another sibling. If only he knew that he didn't have anything to worry about.

I had realized that everyone had their plates made at this point except for me. My own disappointment twisted in my gut, growing a shade more bitter. I scowled under my father’s questioning gaze, something dawned on him. He eyed the dishes on the table as if he’s seeing them for the first time. I could feel the point where his confusion sinks low into a murky sadness.

I grimaced when I felt his second hand dismay. I bit the inside of my cheek. Literally biting back the emotions bubbling up in me.

For once they're my own. So vivid and painful that it drowns out his. Join the club. Disappointment was being served all around tonight.

He can sense the shift in my mood instantaneously even without the aide of my ‘gift’ .

“May honey-”

“I think I should go,” I say, my voice coming out more even than I thought it would. “Feel free to keep the dessert. My friend makes really good pastries.”

I stood from my seat, both Amber and my father at a loss for how to respond. It was understandable that Amber was blindsided by this. But my father…my father was just somber.

It wasn't even really about the food. It was what it meant. It meant that he didn't really care. Not really. Maybe reconciling with his estranged daughter was just a bucket list item for him to accomplish since he was getting older. I shot him a glare and practically could see him wither.

Even with how hurt I felt I didn't have it in me to be angry with Amber. She wouldn't have known, but my father…he really forgot. A part of me wondered if he even remembered about this stupid thing that I’ve had to struggle alone with for years.

I let out a long shaky exhale before turning to his wife. “Thank you Amber, you seem lovely. I’m sorry that I couldn't stay.” I said before I turned and left the dining room.

I faced my problems for the day. Sure I was running from them now, but at least I made an effort to show up and swallow the bitter pill that I've been avoiding for years. I haphazardly stepped into my boots.

I heard the squeal of a chair being scooted across hardwood. “May wait, please”

But I was already out of the house. The door is closing behind me.

I only made it to the base of the steps of their porch before he caught up with me. Panicked. The wind was knocked out of me under the weight of his heartbreak. I doubled over. Stars. It was like taking a sledgehammer straight to the chest. I clutched at it, wheezing. He closed the distance while I tried to recover from the blow.

He paused, the pain in my chest lessening some when his attention shifted to concern. “it…may, is it worse?” His worry was palpable enough where I could take the sensation of falling in stride. Anything. Anything but the feeling of heartache. That was… I Breathed in deeply blinking away the heated pinpricks that preceded tears. “ I thought that with your mother…” he trailed off.

I swiveled on him and shot him a glare. I tilted my head up at him, and definitely I looked him in the eye. So sure that my own rage would ward off the negative effects of doing so. And it did, if only barely.

He was close but didn't reach for me. Even if he looked like a kicked puppy.

“Honey, please don't go we just-”

“Why should I?” I spat.

“You're obviously perfectly happy. You don't need me! you have a perfect family right here,” i gestured wildly to his plastic lawn and his house.

“why do you suddenly want the daughter you abandoned? You haven't even tried to reach out to me ONCE. Not until I moved out of ‘her’ house anyway.”

my voice wobbled, with the hurt that I stockpiled over the years. Hurt that I convinced myself that I didn't actually feel, that I convinced myself I'd healed from. But no. There it was, rearing up to show its head, and boy did it just keep coming.

There was so much of it that it bubbled up and rolled down the side of my face. Twisting my expression into something livid and ugly.

He looked taken aback. “I didn't reach out?May, honey I’ve been sending you letters for years.” his shoulders slumping. “I sent you one once a week…Every week” his voice turned up in a question as if trying to jog my memory.

“Letters? I never got any letters. Or ever see you come and visit.” like you promised. But I bit that back trying to stop the hot tears rolling down my face.

Something dawned on him and the ever present brightness in his eyes dimmed. “ She told me that you didn't want to see me. I….I always thought it was because you were angry with me for taking you to her. so I just kept sending you letters in the hopes you'd write back. But you never did. I guess now…I know why.”

My mouth opened and closed to refute him. But as I thought about it it made more sense. The answer slowly pieced itself together. That…there was a possibility my mother threw them away. Or hid the letters. It made sense. She had done so much worse just to keep me in some state of distress.

“I shouldn't have taken you to her. She said she could help you manage your gifts, live a better life and I…” his gaze dropped, and then I felt the scrabble of shame clawing to climb up my back and over my neck.

I gritted my teeth waiting for it to pass. I clenched my eyes shut hoping the tears would stop too.

He had taken me to her to help me?

Instead I focused on something else, trying to calm myself down. “You wrote to me.” it was more for myself than an actual question. Not that it mattered because my voice had been so small and so fragile that I doubt he even heard.

If he had come to the same conclusion that I was, he should've had every right to be angry. To curse ‘her’ for ruining both of our lives just so ‘she’ could suck any interesting feeling from them like a parasite.

But he wasn't. He was too busy worrying over me. It was only then I could make out the affection he had for me under everything else. That warmth, that ever present warmth that he had. Was his love for me.

“Of course honey, I'd never want to abandon you.” he said soothingly. His heart breaking, breaking just as much as mine was.

I didn't see the hug coming. I just felt him curl over me and pull me in. He was just as warm and comforting as I remembered.

All of the anger evaporated, all that was left was the grief of the years lost. “Y-you weren't tired of me?” the words breaking in the face of a sob that tore through me.

I felt his tears on my shoulder as his hug tightened. “Never.”

And I knew he was telling the truth. His regret was eating him alive, but his hold didn't waver and held me while I cried.

“I'm sorry may, I would've broken down the door if I had known.”

I let out a watery laugh, imagining the gentlest guy I knew kicking down a door. The imagery did help me calm down just enough for my sobs to peter off. Even if I was still hiccuping.

“And I’m sorry about dinner, I hadn't told my wife about your sensitivity. I was so nervous about tonight that I forgot to tell her. “ he noticeably struggled to let his voice waver but it came out strained from trying to stop the flow of his own tears. “ She insisted on making dinner to try and impress you.” he managed a wry chuckle even if it wobbled some.

The words streamed out as he gave me a squeeze. He was so much more talkative now, I'd count on Amber being the person who got him to open up and talk more.

It was a lot to take in, and I nodded. I squeezed him back firmly. When…when was the last time I was actually hugged? I lingered there for a moment before forcing myself to pull away. Feeling that he reluctantly stepped away.

I Fiercely began wiping away my tears on the back of my hands.

For now I needed to leave and collect my thoughts. “Dad..” I said tentatively, “I think I'm going to leave for the night.”

His face looked panicked for a moment before I continued. “I’ll keep in touch I just- I don't-”

He nodded slowly, understanding what I was trying to get at. “It’s okay,” he patted the top of my head, smoothing the hair there with a sturdy hand. “I’ll be here for you whenever you're ready.”

I tried to give him a smile, but it probably looked more like a watery blubber.

We would definitely need to talk things out. So, so many things. Like the conversation I overheard before he left me with her.But…for now I just needed to chew over the information I already had. I nodded, before turning and walking back to my car.

He stood on his porch until I was out of sight. I looked at the clock, I had barely been there for an hour. I tried to get a hold of my breathing.

As I drove, the pain in my chest began to wane and my tears dried. In its place an icy rage began to form.

He had been writing to me the entire time.

I was coming up on the exit to head back home, but if I stayed straight I'd be enroute to her house.

As the exit approached, the feeling only grew. My hands gripped the steering wheel.

She told me I wasn't wanted.

That I was too much trouble for him to want to deal with.

That anyone who knew about what I could do would run.

That people like me shouldn't be around people who couldn’t understand anyway.

I didn't take the exit.

Chapter Text

Chapter 40

I finally finished the task of rewiring the more important parts of the electrical system of the planetarium. Overall it took two days of work but it was finally done.

I wiped the sweat off my brow. It was hot as fuck in this crawl space, but at least now I could shimmy out of it and get somewhere that the air conditioning could actually reach.

I was in the process of doing just that when my eyelights snapped up to see the owner standing there as I righted myself.

They looked just as surprised as I felt. It was later than the usual clock out time, so really we both should’ve been home by now.

“I didn't know you were still here,” he mused, surprise lifting his salt and pepper eyebrows.

I wiped my hands off on my now well-fitting coveralls and reached into my pockets to slide my leather gloves back on, cursing internally when I realized these were the same pair with a tear in them, and shoved them back into my pocket.

“I didn't want to leave any loose ends….. Didja know ya literally had two hot wires connected together only using a wad of gum?” I asked him, hooking a thumb to gesture vaguely behind me.

The owner just chuckled, waving it off as if it were nothing. “Well it's a good thing you're here, the last time I had someone work on anything back there was at least a decade ago. Difference is, you seem to know what you're doing.” his aged dark eyes twinkling with mirth. “ I’d get back there myself but I fear these old bones wouldn't be able to maneuver in such a tight space.”

The joke wasn't lost on me, but it hadnt earned the chuff of laughter it would’ve on any other day, I just wanted to go home.

I shrugged. “Well, no one should have ta’ go back there again, its done.” I walked past the owner and patted him on the back. “Get home safe old man.”

“You too young man. Thanks for the hard work.” He called back, shuffling away to whatever it was that he did.

I held in a snort. Young man? in terms of years I probably had him beat. Then again in this timeline…maybe I wasn’t all that old. It was a pain to keep track of the years that had and hadn’t happened.

I left to get in my car. The sweat that had rolled off my bones immediately chilled in the night air. Fuck, it was freezing out. I still wasn’t used to the changing seasons here on the surface. Nature just deciding that it was bored and wanted to flip everything on its head wasnt something I was going to ever enjoy.

I couldn't wait to just get to my room, and peel off these work clothes. The forming inkling of just what flavor of lazy I’d get into was taking shape. Maybe I’d just unwind and just allow myself to enjoy not having to work for the next few days. Maybe play a game or something, I dunno.

The drive home both took forever and no time at all, and I was past the gate before I knew it, the guard recognized my car and had opened it before I even pulled up. I spared the guard a nod in acknowledgment , which he returned.

I slowed my car now that I was in our neighborhood. passing rows of houses. As much as I wanted to get home, I liked that our house was at the far end at the very back. there’s a hell of a lot less people passing by it, which meant less reasons to be back that way unless someone was looking for us specifically.

I drove past Lulu and May’s place and saw both cars were gone. I glanced down at the dash to check the time. It was well past midnight.

I knew the store wasn't open. Lulu had let me know that she was taking a step away from May. Toreset her boundaries, she’d said. But really I think she was just trying to get rid of her scent that was beginning to settle over May, to stop the whole imprinting process before it got any worse. Time would tell to see if that worked.

That being said, Lulu had passed her human monitoring duties to me. She couldnt exactly keep her word about being responsible for May if she wasnt around to actually follow through.

But that begged the question, where was May now?

I pulled out my dumbass ‘smart’ phone and opened the tracking app. This was technically giving her more privacy than actually tailing her, I reassured myself. Distancing myself from the ‘observation’ process as much as possible.

Five months. Five months and I’d drop this. I reminded myself when the app loaded up her location.

She was pretty far away… along a freeway? What was she doing out there?
I squinted at the screen. It was on a pretty secluded road too. I grumbled when I had to continue using magic just to type her location into google. It looked like she was near a tiny truck rest stop.

My brow furrowed. Weird, but whatever. I barely had time to pull into my driveway when my speculation of what she could be up to was interrupted by a text.

And wouldn't you know? It just happened to be from a very particular pain-in-the ass human.

I scowled down at the message for a long moment.

Tumble weed:
U awke

I squinted at the text, trying to discern if this was a leading question.

red:
Yes.

She begins typing, stopping and starting. Before finally sending her message.

Tumble weed:
Cld I call in favour

I read and reread the message, why the fuck was she typing so strangely? from what I could remember her texting was fairly formal, and leaned away from shorthand. Not that this could really be considered shorthand, cus at least that’d be easy to decipher.

and she was trying to cash in a favor? The only favor I could think of was the one about her soul. I grimaced. Did she want me to come out to a rest stop under the pretense of….

Red:
favor?

I asked instead. Opting to gain a straightforward answer rather than have to make the guesses myself. The last thing I needed to do was come to the wrong conclusions because of vague information.

Tumble weed:
two ridea

I recalled that she had jokingly added a second ride when we were still discussing favors, and at the time I had agreed. I grunted, slumping against the steering wheel in frustration. I was already in my driveway. I was within five strides of my front door, where I could preferably be dead to the world for the next few hours. She would choose now of all times to call this in.

When I didnt respond she painstakingly typed out her messages. The time between both is agonizingly slow. I glared down at the typing bubble.

Tumble weed:
sry nones asnwering

No ubers eithr

She begins typing and stopping before the dots ultimately disappear. She didn't send whatever message she had been typing.

Maybe she’s drunk? I made a guess but something was making me feel apprehensive about the sudden change, and the last thing I’d do would be to ignore my gut….or lack of in this case.

I waited a moment longer before I responded. Grunting when my tapping wasnt registered because I hadn't given it enough magic. I had to be real precise to use just the right amount on the damn thing or I'd wind up frying it. again. Frustrated, I typed out.

red:
Let me call. I need more info.

That’d work out. I’d know if she were really the person on the other end and I wouldn’t have to fiddle with this anymore.

She typed and retyped, but finally she sent.

Tumble weed:
Ok

She picked up on the third ring. I could hear almost inaudible shaky breathing on the other end.

“Whats going on?” I asked, my voice coming out gruffer than I needed it to.

I had to struggle to hear her. She was barely speaking above a whisper. “Car trouble.” there was some rustling on the other end that sounded like fabric swiping against the mic of the phone before it stopped.

“You in danger or something ?”

She made a sound that confirmed that no, she wasn't.

It didn't look like she was going to give me any more information than that. I barely managed to keep from growling in frustration.

“....send me the address.” I demand begrudgingly.

Not that I needed it. I could track her just fine, but I didn't think that just conveniently already knowing her location would slip past her notice.

She gave a soft sound of acknowledgement before hanging up. The address appeared shortly after. It matched the same location of where the tracker had put her. It didn't look like a trap. As far as I could tell the truck stop was public enough where if he were attacked it’d become a spectacle.

I keyed the address into the gps and groaned, an hour and a half away. I eyed the map. I could port over there. Not live I haven’t gone farther before, plus I haven't used any magic today. I’d even been extremely conservative with it today since I had planned to just take it easy….definitely had enough in the tank for two trips if things got rocky…

I tapped my bare phalanges on my steering wheel and squinted at the screen. Fuck it.

I ported to the location on the map, and immediately began panting from such a long jump. I leaned on a tree to catch my breath. Fuck I was out of practice.

I had landed in the wooded area that surrounded the truck stop, which was good because it offered plenty of cover. if I had popped up in the open and there really had been a trap then there was no way I’d be running anywhere until my magic settled.

When I could breathe easier and my magic leveled out I could actually take in the rest of my surroundings. it was very clear that the truckstop wasn't abandoned but it wasnt heavily used right now either, it was just a place for food, restrooms and maps. Hell, it didnt even look open. It looked newer than the pictures online, the company that owned it had changed too.

I made a mental note to check the dates of when the images were posted to avoid accidentally teleporting into a new structure or something.

The surrounding parking lot around the building was large, you could fit two football fields in the space. That being said a lot of it was left vacant with about four or five sixteen-wheelers on one end and a small rust bucket on the opposite far side.

From where I stood, it would look like I just walked around from the other side of the building and up to her car. It was a farther distance than it looked but when I finally got to the car she wasn't in it. The hood popped open and steam was still rising out of it. Luckily there wasn't any smoke. When I rounded the corner I found her, sitting on the asphalt against her car with her head on her knees, arms folded over top.

It would've been impossible to miss the deep bruising on her arms, they marred the skin under her thin top, peeking out from her sleeves in a startlingly dark contrast to her warm complexion.

I stood there in shock for a moment. Struggling to find the words I wanted to say first.

“Aint you cold out here?”

She startled, it was a stiff jerk that made sit up right causing her to hiss in pain. Realizing it was just me though, she just sunk back against her car door using it to prop her up from where she sat, her legs slowly unfurling from the tight ball she had been in.

It was a good thing it had been me and not some creep if she hadn't even heard me approach.

“locked myself out.” She said her voice was strained and hoarse.

So sitting out here wasn't exactly a choice. Not with the lobby of the rest stop closed.

Now that she was mostly sitting upright I could spot the additional deep bruises on her neck and on her right cheek.

I wanted to ask how she had managed to lock herself out, or why she was so obviously beat up. “....what..” I didn't have the time to ask because she quietly interrupted me.

“ could we not talk about it…please,” her tired eyes slowly moved to meet mine. It was obvious that it was a struggle for her to focus, to speak. For the last dredge of energy she seemed to have she decided she would use it for this. To plead of all things.

I swiped a hand over my face, huffing gruffly when my already damaged gloves almost managed to snag on my scar again.

I wanted to press further, but I didnt. The bruises hadn't been there earlier today, and given that they were probably a few hours old, they’d only look worse.. They were violent looking and not even fully purple. They were such a deep red under the skin that they bordered on black.

I definitely had questions. A fuck ton of them in fact but she hadnt asked me how I had got here this quickly, and if I started interrogating her now maybe she’d have the wits about her ask. Hell, maybe she just didn't care. Knowing her state I was glad that I had decided to teleport instead of driving. It would've been my luck that Lulu’s human went missing at a rest stop of all places. I knew from enough late night television that there were an alarming number of documentaries of abductions and murders here on the surface. Hell, they even had a show dedicated to it. Think it was called dateline or some shit? I shook my head.

That wasnt important. I’ve been tasked with watching over her by Lulu and papyrus and on the first day she'd already managed to go and get herself attacked. At least this time I wasn't the direct cause. Not that it matters when the two other monsters in question would be pissed regardless.

“Fine if ya promise to catch me up on the details later, then I wont pry..”

“....‘S a deal, but only if you let paps patch you up.”

She nodded,and slumped back into the position I found her in. her breath coming out in a soft hiss when she moves a bit the wrong way.

I stood there, at a loss before deciding to take a look at the engine. At a glance it just looks like it had started to overheat, or thats what i could assume by the billowing steam that was pluming off the engine block.

It would probably be for the best if I could got the car unlocked and let May inside before taking a closer look.

“Keep your eyes closed for a second.”

If Lulu was as close with her as I thought then she should be familiar with that sort of request.

But that wasn't necessary because she was already damn near in a fetal position. Slumped over with her face buried in her knees, the curly mane of hair ensuring that she probably couldnt see the towering street lamps that lit the parking lot let alone the use of my magic.

I did a final check to confirm that there wasn't anyone looking in our general direction.
Nope, truck drivers were still dead asleep and way too far away to make out whatever I was doing. I ‘ported directly into the driver's seat.

Shit, Well this was definitely comfy aint it. I didnt think that through. I cursed when the car creaked in protest, dipping low under my added weight.
My legs pressed uncomfortably into the dash as I was crammed into her car cabin like a fucking clown in a circus act. I fumbled for the bar beneath her seat to slide it back as far as it would go and only just barely was I able to sit normally.

huffing I looked down.Her keys were still in the ignition, and I used the fob to unlock the stupid ass tin can. I wasted no time to open the door and step out, circling to the passengers side to see that May hadnt even moved.

“Hey I don't need you to catch hypothermia because you really love the outdoors or something, the car’s unlocked.” I pulled the passenger's side door open.

She took a frustratingly long time to respond. her head moving slow to gaze up at me blearily. She looked like she’d fall apart if she stood. Not that she made an effort to try, she didn’t move get up. I couldn't help the frustrated grumble.

“I really dont wanna be out here all night….” I started, but trailed off when I noticed how unfocused her eyes were.

….this wasn’t that creepy gaze she sometimes gave me when it looked like she could see straight to my soul. No… it was different. Her pupils were blown wide with her lids struggling to stay open.

I stepped up to her and crouched, eyeing her. Her delayed response was the slow roll of her eyes to follow the movement until they met my face again.

She struggled to even focus on my face as her gaze kept sliding slightly to the left everytime she managed it.