Archive of Our Own ^beta

To anyone who isn't close with Midoriya, which is most people, they look like your average teenage boy. He admires heroes with everything in his being, he works out and trains with his only friend, and he studies every day despite being at the top of his class. The only strange thing about his appearance -Dark green, curly hair, bright green eyes, and a face full of freckles- would be his left eye, which changes colors regularly. If they were to pay close attention, one would find that any time the color of their eye changes so does their whole demeanor. The way they walk, the way they talk, their dominant hand, the look in their eyes, but you would only find this if you really looked.

Now for the people who are close with Midoriya, -or should I say the Midoriyas- which is very few people, like seriously only three, they would know what exactly to look for and why to look for it. You see, in the body of this fourteen-year-old boy, there are six different people present. All of these people suffer from a disorder called, Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Right now, Midoriya Izuku is in class, having a mental battle with a sixteen-year-old girl named Sonoka over who is fully fronting, or who has direct control over the body.

"So, now that you are all third years, it's time you start thinking seriously about your future. I could hand out some career aptitude tests but, why bother," Sensei threw the papers he was holding into the air, "I know you are all going towards the hero track!"

Izuku started at the sudden noise and quirk usage while he was in a dissociated state and Sonoka finally managed to pull him back and take the reins. Their left eye flickered from green to red under their eyepatch.

"Oi Sensei! Don't lump me in with this bunch of losers! Me or Izuku!" Yelled the familiar voice of the Midoriyas' best and only friend, Bakugou Katsuki. There was a collective groan throughout Sonoka's mind as they were dragged into Katsuki's fight. "We aren't gonna be stuck at the bottom with these rejects!" The boy growled. Sonoka rolled her eyes as her dissociation began to wear off.

"Kacchan~! Don't drag me into your fights!" Sonoka whined, trying to act more like Izuku when what she wanted to do was punch Katsuki in the nose.

The class began to yell at Kacchan about thinking he was better than them.

"Let's go! I'll take you all on!"

"I see you both have impressive test results. Maybe you will make it into UA high..." The teacher muttered, probably looking to see how the class would react to 'quirkless Izuku' applying to the national heroics school. These teachers are god damn mean. If Izuku didn't force everyone to wear this stupid quirk suppressing bracelet at school, Sonoka would have probably killed them all by now. Or burned down the school, but hey. Who's to stop her from doing that in her free time. The three teenagers who were currently co-conning with her began to yell at her inside her skull for even thinking such a thing. She rolled her eyes.

Sonoka was knocked out of her thoughts by the class laughing. "Midoriya? Get into UA?! Pft yeah right. Katsuki maybe, but Midoriya is quirkless for all he shows!" Yelled one of the students near her. Sonoka was about to yell at him when suddenly Ronri, a nineteen-year-old boy living in their system said, "Don't you dare. let Kacchan handle it." Sonoka growled quietly, but sunk into her seat, looking down to hide her peeved expression.

"All you asshats can shut the fuck up! Izuku is good! And does have a quirk mind you! He wears a suppressor at school because it's uncontrollable and he isn't trying to go to jail for murder," Katsuki yelled at everyone, effectively shutting them up. Sonoka shot him a grateful look which he responded to with a head nod.

Sonoka was fuming. She was so mad that sparks were dancing in the air around her, even though she still had on their quirk suppressor bracelet as she fished their notebook out of the koi pond. Suicide baiting?! Really?! I hope I broke his nose. She grumbled mentally. If it weren't for the quirk suppressor he would be dead right now...turned to ash and left for the janitor to find-

'SONOKA!' Yelled Izuku, Muchi, and Ronri at the same time. They were the main four Alters, but there were two more, both children.

'You can't just go saying things about Tsubassa-Kun, what if he were hurt?! We want to be heroes, remember? Not- Not Villans!' That was Izuku.

"Oh dear, dear Izuku. I love you and all, but you need to calm your tits. I was kidding. And even if I wasn't, He deserved it! Because of him, our dreams have been turned into fish food. Fish food, Izuku!" Sonoka exclaimed. She snapped off the quirk suppressor and tossed it into their bag before heating her hand to a level that was just before bursting into flames, and put the soggy notebook on her hand.

Sonoka, Ronri, and Izuku continued to have a back and forth argument as they walked some, but at this point, Izuku had switched with Sonoka and was feeling just extremely dissociated and quickly forgot what they were fighting about so he let Ronri and Sonoka have at it in his head.

He was detached from the world as he walked home, going by muscle memory alone. The trip was quiet for the most part, but Murphy's law is something that Izuku has abided by since he was five, so of course, all things just had to get worse when they could.

Izuku was passing through an underpass that he walked through every day on his way to Kacchan's house after school, not getting any sort of feel for his environment due to his detached state. Suddenly, he felt the pull of his quirk activating on its own and heard the familiar rawr of angry fire that flares up when people he doesn’t know or want near him approach. Suddenly he was a lot closer to the surface of his mind and he whipped around to see a wall of bright orange fire heating the entire underpass.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!!! My quirk, it activates on its own when someone I don't know approaches me! I don't have any control over it! Here, let me just-" Izuku hustled to grab his quirk suppressor out of his bag and snapped it on. In an instant, the fire was gone, but before he could apologize or ask the person if they were ok, something that looked a lot like mud shot at him. He let out a squeak and dropped into a roll on instinct.

"Wow! What a powerful quirk! You'll make a great skin suit for me to escape in!" A loud, distorted voice boomed through the tunnel.

"Nope!" That was sonoka who pushed up to co-con and instantly snapped the quirk suppressor back off. This time, because Izuku was so scared, the fire focused on protecting him instead of attacking his pursuer. The fire formed a hot protective dome around him that was so concentrated that he couldn't see through it. Sonoka backed off co-con and left Izuku alone to try and control his quirk. Suddenly there was a sizzling sound from the other side of the wall and a loud cry of pain. Izuku winced and tears began to fall from his eyes. He couldn't help it, it was either cry or give in to his adrenaline-induced panic attack, both are gonna happen sooner or later.

Sadly after about another minute, Izuku gave in to the panic attack and began to hyperventilate. It wasn't long before he could feel the effects of the oxygen deprivation, both from the bad breathing control and because the fire was quickly eating away at his supply of good air. The fire wasn't a problem for much longer though because suddenly there was a loud, booming voice that had to be a figment of his imagination. After all, it sounded a lot like All Might, followed by a large wave of wind pressure that put out his fire. Izuku opened his eyes one more time before he passed out to see the sludge monster fall to the ground and the one and only All Might walking towards him.

And then the world went black.

Tap Tap Tap Tap.

Is someone tapping my face?

Izuku sat up with a loud groan as he clutched his forehead. He had a killer migraine and not one he was used to. This one wasn't the kind that he got as a symptom of his disorder. No. This was the kind of headache that one got after passing out from lack of oxygen. Usually, this happens after a particularly bad panic attack, but what happened...?

"Ah! My boy! good to see you are alright, I thought we lost you for a second there." Izuku jumped at the sound of another person in the area and his quirk quickly flared up. oh no. his quirk... where was his bracelet?! He couldn't be out in public without it, what if he hurts someone?! "Woah there! I know I'm not exactly the best at comforting people, but I don’t think I did anything to deserve getting attacked, that was hot!" Exclaimed the voice. Izuku's breath hitched in his throat. Oh my god. Izuku would recognize that voice anywhere! That's-

"Oh my god All Might I'm so sorry! It's just my PTSD and my specific quirk requirements make it kind of difficult to control my powers. It has a mind of its own! If anyone I don't know or trust tries to come near me my fire lashes out on its own! This doesn't happen with Sonoka or Ronri or Muchi or, christ even the littles have better control than me! I'm so so so sorry! I didn't recognize you at first and my head really hurts and it's just been a long day. I'm sorry about burning you!" Izuku bent down at the waist and dropped into a deep bow.

"Hey, calm down kid, it wasn’t a- wait, PTSD? No way you can't be older than fourteen!" He cut off his sentence midway as what Izuku said finally registered.

"Wait what? Did I say that? umm.." Izuku chuckled and scratched the back of his neck, eyes drifting away from his hero Idle and to the asphalt under his feet. When he looked back up, his eye was no longer green, but lavender. All Might's eyes widened a little. He had removed the boy's eyepatch when he was out to make sure there was nothing wrong with his eye, he didn't know however that it changed colors.

"Heya All Might! I’m Midoriya Muchi, part of Izuku's system." Muchi held out a hand in front of him, absolutely reveling in the utterly confused look on the hero’s face. "We all suffer from a severe form of PTSD that forms before the age of nine when a child suffers from severe or repeating trauma so the brain can protect itself called Dissociative Identity Disorder. Nice to meet you All Might, I have some questions for you."

"Uh...Well, I don't...I don't have time to uh... answer questions. I have to get this villain to the police station..." He said, his composure dropping after hearing that such a young child suffers from such a horrible disorder like PTSD. "I was just gonna apologize for getting you involved in my justicing, the sewers here were more difficult to navigate than I had imagined. But all is safe now because I am here and I have captured the evil-doer!" All Might gained his composure back, only to lose it again a minute later when all the boy gave him was an assessing look.

Something is wrong with All Might.

'Yeah, he is acting weird. He would never just blow off a fan like that...' Said Izuku.

'wait. Is he...smoking?' Sonoka.

'ok ok, think about this. Remember that time a few years ago when he just, disappeared after a fight that wasn't released to the public and came back like... a year later? What if he is injured and like, can only work for a certain amount of time... He might just be trying to protect himself...' Said Ronri. He is the smartest of all of them and the second most animate hero fanboy, but he is better at hiding it. He pays the most attention to when, how, where, and why heroes get injured and like to think about how one could avoid it.

Muchi squinted at All Might's hero form. He was getting ready to jump into the air, but none of them missed the smoke coming off his body. most people wouldn't notice it, but as someone who smokes at the slightest slip of control when one of the altars is angry, he is very aware of what smoke looks like.

"No need to make a quick getaway All Might. You’re injured, right? There is no need to push yourself further than you have to," Muchi suddenly said, causing All Might to jump.

"Wait...how did you...?" Muchi shrugged. Instead of leaving, All Might ushered Muchi into the underpass and was quickly covered in a cloud of white smoke. As quickly as the smoke appeared, it was gone and in All Might's place, was a then frail man who looked like they should be on their deathbed instead of flying around doing hero work. Muchi Blinked and then it wasn't Muchi anymore. Their eye was red and their posture slipped up. Their accent changed to a more American, feminine voice.

"Wicked!" Sonoka exclaimed. "How did you do that?! What's your quirk? It's got to be some kind of muscle augmentation right? How else could you go from, well -All Might! To a walking skeleton like that?!" Sonoka started rambling. All Might looked startled and extremely surprised at the outburst and was even more startled when suddenly both of the boy's eyes changed to green and he looked down silently.

"I'm sorry about them..." Izuku said quietly. "They have no concept of privacy, you don't have to answer any of that...That's- That's not what we wanted to ask you anyway..." All Might seemed like he was kind of shaken but he gave a small, patient smile.

"What is it that you wanted to ask my boy?"

"Well... You saw before what happened with my quirk...I can't control it most of the time. Like I can call upon it at will," Izuku stuck his hand out and lit it on fire. it danced weakly and dimly as if it didn't want to be seen. "I think it's kind of because of my DID, but my fire kind of has a mind of its own. It acts out on its own when I'm in danger or having a panic attack or flashback or I just feel unsafe, but the way it acts depends on how I'm feeling... If I am scared for my safety it will most likely do the dome that you saw before. If I'm angry it will try to hurt the object of my aggression. That's why I usually wear a suppressor in public. I was always told I could never achieve my dreams if I can't control myself, let alone a very dangerous quirk, but I don't want to believe them... But my mental health is unstable and because it so is my quirk. What I wanted to ask was... Do you-. Do you think I could be a hero too? Could someone like me become someone like you?" Izuku had tears in his eyes as he explained his quirk to his Idol. Usually, he would never share such personal information with someone, but this is All Might. He just couldn't help but feel safe and unjudged in his presence so it kinda just...slipped out.

"Honestly?" All Might said after a few seconds of silence."I think you have the potential to be a great hero but...I don't think you would be able to achieve that goal." Izuku flinched away, looking up with wide, teary eyes at All Might. "You have the heart of a hero, yes, but the heart isn't everything. If you can't control your quirk you could end up being a or causing other casualties on the field and you would be a deadweight. Usually, things like uncontrollable quirks can be fixed with quirk training, but your problem seems to be more mental...In your state, I don't think you could be a hero..."

Izuku didn't remember dissociating, but the next thing he knew he was being shocked awake by the sounds of explosions going off a few blocks away. Intrigued and eager to get All Might off his mind, Izuku followed the sounds. The first thing he noticed was the crowd. Why are there so many people? The next thing he noticed was just who the villain was. It was the sludge monster... The one that attacked them... and the same one All Might had captured after Izuku passed out. Really? First, the man goes and tells a depressed and mentally unstable child that they can't be a hero because of a mental disorder they can't even control, and then he lets a villain that had captured said kid get away?! Why in the world did I ever idolize this man?! The last thing he noticed was that the villain had another kid in his grasp and the new, rookie heroes were standing around "Waiting for someone with the right quirk to show up." 

'Ok, what in the actual fuck is wrong with the heroes today?! Are they always like this? Are we just stupid?' Said Sonoka.

Izuku pushed his way to the front of the group and what he saw horrified him. Buried in the slimy body of the sludge villain, was Katsuki. His eyes were closed and his face twisted into one of pain and desperation. He just stared there, watching in horror until he heard someone nearby shout, "Why isn't anyone doing anything?! The kid is gonna die!" Izuku didn't think, he didn't have to. his body moved by itself. He sprinted into the scene, the cries, and shouts from both the crowd and heroes falling on deaf ears. His eyes scanned for weak points and stopped when they landed on the eyes. Without thinking about the consequences of his actions, he grabbed a flaming stick from the ground and shoved it into the person's eye, not stopping until he heard the sickening crunch of pierced flesh. At the moment that the villain recoiled, letting out a pained scream, Izuku grabbed his best friend's wrist and tugged him as hard as he could, dislodging him from the slime. The boy dragged Katsuki away, instinctively putting up a wall of fire to protect him from the villain.

"Kacchan?" Izuku said, leaning over the boy. He shook his shoulders a little. When Katsuki didn't wake up or even so much as flinch, Izuku pressed an ear to his chest. "His heart’s not beating..." He whispered, horrified. "Help! Someone help! I can't find a heartbeat! Someone, please!" Izuku yelled. It looked like they had captured the villain with the help of All Might 'Oh so now the scumbag wants to help.' Muchi had said. A medic came running over to Izuku as he dropped his firewall. The woman pushed Izuku out of the way and dropped to her knees to check his pulse and breathing. Izuku could only watch on in horror as they performed CPR on his best friend, trying to bring him back from the dead.

"I've got a heartbeat!" The doctor yelled. "Hurry! Get me a stretcher, we need to get him to the hospital ASAP!" Izuku let out a choked cry of relief as the doctors pulled Katsuki onto a stretcher. Izuku made to follow them into the ambulance but was stopped as a very angry looking Deatharms and Kamui Woods stepped in front of him. Izuku glared up at them.

"Get out of my way! He's my friend, I have to make sure he is alright!" Izuku yelled. Usually, he is shy and polite and doesn't talk to people unless he needs to, but his worry for his friend was far outweighing his social anxiety right about now.

"Sorry kid, but we can't let you on that ambulance. We need to talk to you anyway," Said Kamui Woods. Izuku crossed his arms.

"What do you want then?" He could feel the sparks flying off his body but he couldn't care less.

"What you just did was extremely dangerous! There was no reason to throw yourself into that fight. What are you, a vigilante?!" Deatharms yelled. Something inside Izuku snapped at that moment. He could feel Sonoka pressing forward to chew this guy out, but he got to him first.

"Well, first of all, do you even know what a vigilante is? The legal definition of a vigilante is 'one who actively uses their quirk to perform the duty of a hero without a license. I didn't use my quirk. And secondly, I wouldn't have had to interfere if you were doing your god damn jobs!" Izuku shouted. the heroes visibly flinched. "You said what? That you were gonna sit and wait for someone with the right quirk to show up? Well, news flash a middle schooler just did your job better than you with nothing than stick off the floor!! You can't rely on your quirk for everything dumbasses! How about instead of using some flashy power that isn't even working, you try using your heads once in a while?! My friend would be dead right now if it weren't for me doing your god damn job and it would be your faults. Not just yours, but All Might's too!" Izuku turned on his heels to face the number one hero who was currently surrounded by reporters. They stopped talking and turned to look at Izuku when they heard All Might mentioned. "How did you even manage to let that thing go?! It was in a soda bottle for crying out loud and you just decided to let it go so it could attack another kid?! And not just any kid, but the only fucking person in my life that I can actually count on and now he might die because of all you stupid heroes who couldn't do your jobs right!"

Inside Izuku's head, everyone was screaming. Bad things at the heroes, and colorful praise at Izuku for forgetting his social anxiety and ripping them a new one.

Izuku picked up his bag off the sidewalk and sprinted down the street towards the hospital, making sure he called auntie on his way. He was bawling by the time he got to the front desk, but he managed to keep his tears silent, and his voice unshaking.

"Bakugou Katsuki! Is he here?! Is he okay?! What's going on?" Izuku rushed. The receptionist looked up from her computer and gave him a smile.

"He is in stable condition. I don't know much beyond that but the doctor should be out any minute."

like magic, the doctor stepped out from the corner and called out Katsuki's name. Izuku shot a quick "Thanks" to the receptionist before rushing up to the doctor.

"Kacchan! Is he okay?! What is his condition?" Izuku repeated. The doctor smiled at him.

"Would you happen to know where a legal guardian might be?" He asked. Izuku sighed.

"I just got off the phone with them. They said they would be here as soon as possible but they are out of town on a business trip a few hours away. Please, sir, he is like my brother. I need to know how he is doing," Izuku informed me. The doctor nodded.

"He is in stable condition, for now. He suffered a lot of brain damage from the amount of oxygen deprivation he suffered but nothing that can't be healed over time." Izuku let out a sigh of relief, however, he could sense the 'but'.

"But?" Izuku asked.

"He is in a coma, possibly indefinite. we don't know when or if he will wake up." The doctor gave him an apologetic look as Izuku gazed up at him in horror. His tears quickly began to pick up their flow.

"Can-... Can I see him?" He asked. The doctor nodded and pointed Izuku to Katsuki's room. 

Izuku practically sprinted down the hallway to get to his friend's room. Once Izuku reached Katuki's room, he froze at the sight in front of him. Katsuki was laying on his back on the bed in the middle of the room, so pale that he practically was the same color as the sheets. That wasn't what scared Izuku though. what scared him was the number of pipes and tubes and machines he was attached to. Probably life support machines to keep his body working without proper functionality of his brain. Izuku walked shakily up to the bed and sat down in the visitor's chair. the hard plastic was cool on his back, and not very comfortable. Izuku reached out his hand and gently took Katsuki's sticky, nitroglycerin soaked hand in his own. Izuku let out a small laugh that held no humor before promptly breaking down.

"Why Kacchan..." He whispered. "Why did you have to leave me like that... We were supposed to get into UA together, so why did you have to go and get yourself stuck in a coma like that...? You were the only person I had left... What am I going to do without you...?" Izuku let out a sob as his tears fell one by one into his lap.

Izuku didn't know how long he had sat there and cried before someone switched out with him, but the next thing he knew he was sitting on Katsuki's bed with the old reading glasses he had given to Izuku on his face and his favorite book in his hand. Auntie must have brought them to her house when she left the hospital instead of taking him home. Izuku felt tears welling back up in his eyes but managed to choke them down when he noticed the glasses fogging up. He took a shaky breath before getting up and looking at his phone. Huh. He has been out of it for two days... It's Sunday night, almost time for him to go to bed because he had school the next day.

Izuku stood and changed out of the clothes he was wearing into some of Katsuki's pajamas. Or more just a pajama shirt because the damn pants didn't fit him. Katsuki wasn't that much taller than Izuku, but Izuku was lean and didn't have the same kind of noticeable muscle mass that Katsuki had so he's much broader. Izuku let out a sigh, letting a single tear fall down his face as he flopped back down on the bed.

'This is all those stupid heroes' faults...' Sonoka said. Izuku hummed in agreement.

'Yeah I mean, I love heroes and all and I love what they do, but how can they possibly be so stupid?! If they had just used their fucking heads instead of relying on their quirks all the time, then Kacchan wouldn't be in that hospital bed right now!' Muchi yelled.

I know Muchi…

There was a short pause before Ronri spoke up.

‘We are just gonna have to work twice as hard to make sure we get into UA...For Kacchan right?’

Izuku nodded, tears shining in his eyes. 

“For Kacchan”