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Reincarnated as a Girl

Summary:

By all accounts, he should be dead. He knew he should be dead. Bruce’s hand was basically destroyed and his body was resistant to radiation. Hell, Thanos’ hand was also destroyed after he used the gauntlet, and he was an alien for Tesla’s sake! Tony was just a normal human, admittedly an incredibly intelligent genius of a human, but normal nonetheless. His body wasn’t made to withstand the raw power of one infinity stone, let alone six. So yeah, he should be absolutely dead. 100% gone. Sixty feet under as opposed to the usual six. And yet…

“Congratulations Ms. Stark, it’s a girl!”

Or:

In which I've been reading way too many reincarnation isekai manga and so Tony Stark is brought back to the moment of his birth after he snapped in Endgame, but this time as a girl!

Chapter Text

Tony Stark lived a long enough life, one that should have ended several times over if he was being honest. He’s survived a little over fifty years and, though there were heartbreaks and dark times, he couldn’t say he didn’t live a life worth living. He had his daughter, a beautiful wife and some trustworthy friends. He’s had so many regrets, like not being able to save the kid back on Titan, but he’s okay with that. He’s moved on the best way he could. He brought him back, and it was worth everything.

So, when he snapped his fingers, he was okay with dying. He understood the sacrifice he was making, but he'd do it again if he had to. It was so incredibly worth it, if only so his daughter could grow up to be the wonderful woman he knew she would be. It would be worth it if Peter lived on and became the best hero the Universe would ever see. It would be worth it if Pepper and Rhodey and Happy were safe. If Harley continued to grow and maybe even take over Stark Industries. If life on Earth was just a little less sad now than it was before. It was worth it.

“I am Iron Man.” He said as his final words, both as a snarky insult to Thanos as well as a farewell as sorts. This adventure began with those same words, it only made sense to end it in a similar fashion. Not to mention, he was stupidly terrible at proper goodbyes. Though he’ll admit this one was pretty needlessly dramatic, although he always did have a dramatic flare to him anyways so it was okay. So he closed his eyes, said his own version of goodbye, and snapped his finger.

By all accounts, he should be dead. He knew he should be dead. Bruce’s hand was basically destroyed and his body was resistant to radiation. Hell, Thanos’ hand was also destroyed after he used the gauntlet, and he was an alien for Tesla’s sake! Tony was just a normal human, admittedly an incredibly intelligent genius of a human, but normal nonetheless. His body wasn’t made to withstand the raw power of one infinity stone, let alone six. So yeah, he should be absolutely dead. 100% gone. Sixty feet under as opposed to the usual six. And yet…

And yet he could open his eyes and see a bright light. His first thought was something along the lines of “oh shit there’s a heaven?” Immediately followed with “how the fuck did I get placed in heaven?” However, as his eyes adjusted he could discern a masked face hovering over him. Panic set in and his mind started trying to find solutions. Was he maybe brought back from the dead? Did he somehow survive? Was he kidnapped? Did he need to find a way out?

It calmed him down a bit when he noticed the masked figure was actually a doctor, carefully looking at him with bright eyes. Suddenly, Tony felt a sharp pain on his posterior and he gasped. He thought he heard someone crying, and his mind went on alert. His eyes focused on the doctor in front of him, trying to understand what she wanted from him. Slowly, she pulled down her mask, revealing a genuine smile.

“Congratulations Ms. Stark, it’s a girl!”

Hold the phone. What? Tony tried his damn best not to panic as he attempted to figure out just what the hell was happening. Was he on drugs? He doesn’t remember any of his trips being this bad. Or maybe he had gone insane. That was a likely explanation. The stones could have just made him go coo-coo for Coco Puffs instead of killing him. Yeah, that makes more sense, so that had to be it.

He then felt like he was lifted up gently and placed on something warm. Tony frowned, trying to assess his surroundings. He was in someone’s arms, and he realized that he had been the one who was crying. So, in his infinity-stone high, he was some sort of baby? Okay, he could work with that. He looked up to see just who it was that was holding him and suddenly he felt a loss of oxygen. The sight was breathtaking, and Tony almost started crying again out of frustration.

Looking down at him with a familiar kind smile and the same chocolate brown eyes that he had was one Maria Stark. He suddenly found himself praying that this wasn’t some dream, or post death limbo thing. Please, let her be real. Maybe he had died after all, and he was just reunited with his mom. He could only hope and pray that was the case. Maybe, just maybe he could finally be at rest and happy.

“What will you name her?” A nurse with a husky voice asked. He was looking straight at Tony. Wait… her? Tony blinked, not quite understanding just what the nurse had meant. It was only then that he realized the doctor had also referred to him as a female. Okay. Tony gave up. There was no use trying to make sense of this situation he -she?- was in.

“Antoinette.” Maria whisper smiled, as if she had just told Tony a secret. Tony looked at her, at how much love and adoration was in her eyes, and suddenly he didn’t care anymore. Whatever the hell kind of situation he was in, he didn’t care. He’d just enjoy the moment and, for once in his life, relax.

“She’s smiling! Oh and giggling too. I think she liked her name.” Another nurse commented. Tony had a feeling he wouldn’t like Antoinette, just as he didn’t like Anthony, but that was fine. He’d just have everyone call him… her Toni.

---

It was weird, she mused. Being a child with the memories of an entire lifetime, the same lifetime albeit that of a male’s. Toni thought she’d have a hard time adjusting to her newer body and it’s… different plumbing -for lack of a better term. She was pleasantly surprised to find that she had been wrong, though it might be because she had always thought that her gender was irrelevant. Growing up as a guy had never been about proving her masculinity, but rather about proving her intellect. The same held true now, actually, except it was a little bit different. Then again, it could always be that the stones also changed something in her brain, making it more comfortable in a female body than that of a male's. She could only make guesses at this point, but ultimately she’d never really know. It didn’t really affect her anyways, so she decided that just this once she’d just accept it as it was at face value.

As a guy, everyone had expected Toni to take after Howard and be a carbon copy. As a girl, they still expected her to be smarter than the average joe, but more in the sense of elegance and poise. They didn’t care if she would be a genius in mechanics or an advanced mathematician; no, they wanted her to be well versed in literature and as articulate as an aristocrat from the 19th century. She was expected to be a scholar, but one that would work as an advisor of sorts for her future husband who would undoubtedly inherit the company through their marriage. Fuck that.

Just like last time, Toni found herself sneaking into Howard’s workshop and learning how to use her newer body to build beautiful machines. She went through the motions she was so used to as Tony Stark, but it was weird and almost clunky at first. Her body just didn’t have the muscle memory that she was used to, but that just meant she had to spend more time working in the lab -not a terrible fate. She found that she wasn’t as strong as she had been when she was male, but she was more flexible. It wasn’t really much of a drawback, it just meant she had to be a bit more creative with how she did things.

She was five years old now, and she was pretty adept at sneaking into Howard’s lab. To be fair, he wasn’t as spiteful as he had been last time. He was a bit more gentle, in a way. It was probably because she was a girl. She wasn't sure why her gender made such a difference, but whatever. 

"Why do I always find you in my lab, Toni?" She heard her father sigh in annoyance behind her. She was dismantling a broken watch she found in the trash pile a night ago. She'd rather use actual parts that would make decent creations, but she would have to make due until she was old enough to actually handle said parts. Toni blinked, and looked up at her father. She remembered he asked a question similar to this when she was a boy, and his answer had been that he enjoyed working in the lab. It was true, Toni adored working in a lab… but it hadn't been completely honest. At first, the reason she would always sneak into her father's lab was that she wanted to spend as much time with her dad as possible. Eventually the reason became more to spite her father for always shunning his son, and finally it turned into true love for the lab. 

When young Tony told his dad that he liked working on the lab, Howard reacted with annoyance. Maybe Toni should change the answer this time. "Because I want to work with you daddy! I miss you." She was surprised to realize that it was true, in some sense. She did miss Howard, even if he was a shit dad. She looked up at her dad, curious to see what he would say. They had a staring contest before Howard sighed and moved to pick her up. She couldn't say she was too surprised that he was going to kick her out of the lab already. What was she expecting? 'My greatest creation was you' felt like bullshit now.

"Don't touch anything." Howard warned, and that got Toni's attention fast. She realized he had picked her up only to place her on his lap. Now, he was working on… looks like a rifle design. She was so incredibly tempted to just grab his tools and improve it, but she stayed still and settled with simply observing. This was the first time her father let her stay in the lab with him, after all. 

"Thank you, father." She whispered, feeling giddy. For the first time, she had hope for her relationship with her father. 

"What happened to 'daddy'?" Howard huffed out, but Toni could hear the smile in his voice.

"Thank you, daddy!" Toni giggled and continued to just watch her father work. It was very silent, as Howard couldn't multitask as well as she could. Then again, both father and daughter were invested in the work. Toni actually enjoyed watching her dad work, it was far more different than how she did things. Their way of thinking was incredibly different, and so was their technique. Toni was amazing at what she did, but she was self taught. It was no wonder Howard did things differently, maybe she could still learn a thing or two from him.

"I'm surprised you're not moving around, or getting bored." Howard admitted after a few more minutes of silence. Toni looked up at him with a frown. It made sense for him to think that; she was a very active child. She wondered if that was the reason he hated having her in the lab, was he simply concerned for her wellbeing?

"I like watching you work." She said simply, looking back at his calloused hands. Howard hummed in response, and kept on working. They stayed like that until Maria called them for dinner.

Living in the Stark manner was almost the same now as it was before. Maria was a marvelous mother who would sing bedtime stories to Toni and teach her Italian. Of course, Toni already knew Italian, as well as a myriad of other languages, but what Maria didn't know wouldn't hurt her. Jarvis was still more of a dad than Howard, though it was weird him calling her 'young miss' rather than 'young master'. There was still an uncle Obie in the picture, though Toni refused to let her guard down in front of him. Howard trusted him, and wouldn't listen to her when she said he was no good; but she was just biding her time until she had enough evidence to send him to jail. And Howard, well Howard was still a pretty cruddy dad with an obsession to find his long lost friend -Toni was almost tempted to tell him where Rogers was, but the world would need him later on. He was still as impatient and selfish as always, but there would be random times where he would just pick up Toni and drag her to the lab with him. Those were by far Toni's favorite times.

At first she would only be able to watch, and she didn't dare ask for more. She'd secretly come back or take tools she knew her father didn't use up to her room to work while everyone else was asleep. Jarvis would keep her secret as long as she didn't injure herself. Eventually, though, Howard actually started teaching her how to use the tools and how to build. Gradually, he would let her do more and more in the lab until, when she was twelve, the two of them would work on things together. Howard was actually proud with how she 'turned out' and would entrust her with some of SI's projects. She never worked on weapons, though. Howard refused to let her work on weapons. "My daughter shouldn't be made to handle such dangerous tools." It was a bullshit excuse, but Toni was fine with it if it meant she never had to sell another weapon. She ended up focusing more on combat gear and even body armor. 

"You're not allowed to have a boyfriend." Howard once told her while they were working together in the lab. It was odd, considering there was an unspoken rule never to talk in the workshop when they were working.

"Don't I have to marry someone for them to take over SI?" Toni remarked, raising a brow. There was still talk about that, even though she was only 12. Toni still had to figure out a way around that, though she was a strong believer in complaining about it until her parents finally got fed up and decided, sure, she could take over SI.

"No need. Maria and I both know you're more capable than any of the candidates we could find." Howard huffed out with a smirk. "Besides, boys are idiots." The two looked at each other, having a moment of understanding, before they remembered they were both allergic to emotions and returned to their work. Though, Toni couldn't help the smile on her face and Howard couldn't help but feel like he did something right for once.

"Okay dad, no boyfriends." Howard let out a boisterous laugh, one Toni had only ever rarely heard. It felt like walking on cloud nine.

She still ended up going to MIT at age 15. It was a bit of a bummer, considering she wanted to spend as much time with her parents as she could… Especially since Howard was acting more like a dad this time around. There was also the constant anxiety about what would happen in two years; the Winter Soldier would come and kill them. She had to stop that, but she didn't know how. The plus side to going to college was that she would have more free time in her hands, as she already finished said college and had a decent enough memory on everything she did. There was also Rhodey.

They wouldn't be roommates this time, considering the fact that she was a girl and he was a boy and that was a big no-no. She felt more comfortable rooming with Rhodey than she would with a random girl. She ended up rooming alone this time, though that might have something to do with Howard's meddling and less with the lack of potential roommates. 'A girl of your stature should have her privacy' was his excuse. Toni knew by now that this was his way of showing he cared.

Meeting Rhodey this time around was a very different experience than last time. Well, it was more eventful at least; though one that did end up pissing her off.

“What’s a black kid doing here?” One of the two boys said, crowding over Rhodey’s sitting form like some wannabe bully. Toni knew that if Rhodey really wanted to, he could probably fuck that kid up several times over to the point that not even his momma would recognize him. He was too patient for that though, too used to the insults because people were still racists snobs sometimes. “Isn’t this school too hard for a dumb fuck like you?”

“Yeah, get lost idiot.” The second boy said, laughing obnoxiously. Toni saw Rhodey’s face darken with annoyance, but otherwise he didn’t say anything else. His momma raised him right, Toni knew that. Unfortunately for the two boys, Toni’s parents weren’t quite the best at raising her. Bless her mom, but her family was so dysfunctional it was hilarious.

“Is that seriously all you’ve got?” She said with her trademark grin. Rhodey’s frown deepened, probably thinking she was there to join the two boys in their poorly done bullying. “Really? You’re going to try and insult him ‘cause of his pretty chocolate skin?” Toni tisked, shaking her head. She crossed her arms and walked closer to the three boys.

“And you’re just a woman.” Boy number one said.

“Oh, and now it’s about gender! Bigots will be bigots huh cupcake?” She asked Rhodey with a smile. His frown turned to one of confusion, but there was a smile hidden there somewhere. She could feel it. She turned to look at the two boys that were still crowding Rhodey, and her smile sharpened considerably. “Okay, listening to you two is actually kinda sad so I’ll help you out. Lessen number one, you really shouldn’t try to intimidate someone who’s twice your size in muscle. That’s basically just asking to get your undies knocked right out of ya.” She put up one finger. “Lesson two is that you should really look into a dictionary if you want to try and insult someone.” She looked over one of the boys while putting up a second finger. “Here, I’ll give you an example. It’s honestly no wonder you have so much free time to spend harassing one of the school’s smartest kids. I mean, I’m sure you’re not stupid, you probably just have bad luck when it comes to using your brain. And it’s just so nice to see that you aren’t letting your education get in the way of your ignorance. By the way, I like your jacket! It's really good at covering up jackasses like you!” Her smile and cheerful disposition never faltered, and she could tell Rhodey was hiding his smile. He was probably choking down his laughter too, considering how red his face was getting and how much he was shaking.

“Shut up Bitch.” Boy number two stepped up, towering over her easily.

“Oh! I see you got lesson number one in the bag! Nice, nice. So, lesson number three…” The boy went to hit her, but she easily dodged it and happily retaliated with a hit to his gut. “Don’t piss me off.” She grabbed the boy’s arm, and hurled him over her shoulder. 

The other boy tried to hit her too while she was distracted, but she easily dodged him as well. "Oh man, maybe I should rewrite lesson number one. You guys suck at fighting… maybe just don't step up at all." She snickered dodging another punch. Before he could try again, she quickly used all of her momentum to deliver a roundhouse kick -one that hit hard. "Oh, done already?" She looked at the two boys struggling to get up and shook her head. "Well then, kindly fuck off."

Rhodey looked at her as though she were insane, and perhaps she was. There was a stereotype about rich girls, and she knew she looked like she fit the bill. Truth be told, she still liked to act the part, just like she did in her past life, but she knew better than to actually become the part. That was her mistake last time. She shook her head, deciding to think about this at another time. Right now she had to give all of her attention to Rhodey and hope for the best.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Rhodey said while she watched the two boys scurry off. Toni turned her head to look at him and smiled.

“I know, but I’m allergic to morons and they were killing me.” She winked.

“Oh, and here I thought you were here to save me.” He said with a huff, making Toni’s smile widen. She was worried they wouldn’t get along as well since A., their interactions weren’t going to be entirely genuine as she knew a lot more about him than he did her, and B., she wasn’t his roommate nor was she a guy anymore. Rhodey wasn’t one to look down on girls or anything, but sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone who’s the same gender as you. Social norms are dumb.

“Two birds cupcake.” She hummed gleefully. “I’m Toni, by the by.” She extended a hand and gave him her kindest smile. 

“James.” He took her hand and shook it, sporting a smile of his own. 

“Jimmy, got it!” She joked, knowing the name wouldn’t stick, Rhodey’s flat stare was enough to tell her as much. She laughed either way. “Say, James, want to come over and paint each other’s nails?” She asked, batting her eyes. “Mom says that’s the best way to make friends, apparently.” Toni had to bite her inner lip not to laugh at the face Rhodey was making right now. Either he wasn’t very interested in painting nails with a stranger, or he was concerned that Toni thought that was the only way to make friends. It was probably the latter considering they did paint their nails together once for shits and giggles when Toni was Tony. “I’m joking.” She clarified, still trying to keep from laughing loudly. “You like video games?” 

“You’re kind of a weird kid.” Rhodey mentioned, but he was smiling again so Toni didn’t care. She just smiled brighter, if anything. “Yeah, I like games.” This was how they met for the second first time. And, just as Toni had hoped, they got on like a house on fire. Soon, they were almost inseparable; though that could also be because Toni continuously pestered Rhodey and refused to leave him alone.

“Toni Stark, right?” A very annoyingly familiar voice called from behind her. Today she and Rhodey were sitting outside while working on their classwork. Toni was mostly done, having already done this once upon a time, but she pretended to still have a lot to do so she could keep hanging out with Rhodey. She turned her head and, sure enough, the familiar face of Tiberius Stone was looking at her with that same warm smile that had her fooled once.

“The one and only. And you are?” She looked at him up and down, more judgemental than appreciative. This was one experience she really wasn’t going to relive, so she wanted nothing to do with him.

“Tiberius Stone.” He answered with a cocky grin, beside him on both sides were his ‘friends’. Lackeys, more like. 

“Cool.” She turned back to her homework. She noticed Rhodey glaring at Stone-boy and she couldn’t help the smile forming on her face. He always was a protective friend, and it was glad to see some things didn’t change. “Hey, Rhodes, are you any good with coding? I’m thinking of making a new friend.” She had already written most of the code for JARVIS, so she didn’t really need any outsider opinion… but she really wanted to get the hell away from one Tiberius Stone and also wanted to brag a bit about her baby. Two birds and all that.

“I know a bit.” He looked at her, already knowing what she was doing. It was pretty obvious, with how she was blatantly ignoring the guy who dared interrupt their little study date. Rhodey had a bad feeling about the guy, and he was glad to see Toni did too. 

“So, Toni,” Tiberius took a seat beside Toni, leaning on the table with a grin. Toni noticed the grin was less cocky and more panicked, like he hadn’t expected her to outright dismiss him. She felt shamelessly euphoric about it. “There’s going to be a party over at Justin’s frat house tonight. It could use some flair… So, you in?” Toni stared at him, remembering how in her first college party as Tony she was royally fucked over. She can vividly remember her father’s disappointed glare the very next day, and she had felt so wrong and sick. 

“Nah, thanks for the invite though.” The smile on Tiberius’ lips almost dropped entirely.

“Come on, please?” He was begging. Why was he so interested in getting her to go to this party with him. She remembered that in her last lifetime Tiberious had some sick obsession with her, enough to even murder his own parents, but she had avoided any interaction with him in this lifetime. She sighed.

“She said no, Stone.” Rhodey placed a protective hand on her shoulder, full out glaring at Tiberius.

“Wasn’t talking to you, dickwad.” Toni immediately bristled, ready to punch this asshole in the face. Suddenly, the protective hand turned into one that held her back. How is it that Rhodey already knew her so well? She huffed out, but decided to hold still just this once. 

“Well I am talking to you.” Rhodey said casually, not really hostile but not quite kind either. It was that kind of scary calm that Rhodey pulled off frighteningly well. She noticed that the lackeys started to bristle, and Tiberius looked a bit trigger happy too. If she didn’t step in there would probably be a fight, and, while she had complete and total confidence in the thought that she and Rhodey would win, she really wasn’t in the mood for pointless violence right now.

“Okay, how about this. I’ll consider going, but cupcake’s coming too.” She said fully leaning back on Rhodey. Tiberius looked from Rhodey to her before cracking a smile.

"Sure thing, I'll see you there." And with that, this idiot left with his posse. After a moment of silence, Rhodey turned to her with a frown.

“Are you actually thinking of going?” He asked, and she smiled at him.

“Sure, why not? Something fun might happen.” She hummed, looking back at her laptop screen. “Wouldn’t it just be hilarious if Tiberius’ car was suddenly painted pink? Or maybe if someone dropped a bucket of cold water on his head? Nah, that’s lame. Oh! What if I hacked into his computer and found some really embarrassing baby pictures? Do people store baby pictures at this time? I don’t remember. Would be quite funny if everyone was invited to that album at the party, though.” She continued to think of potential petty pranks to do at the part, and Rhodey could only look at her.

“Eggs and feathers?” Rhodey offered after a minute. Toni thought about it for a moment before grinning madly.

“Simple, yet effective.” She nodded. “Okay, let’s turn that dick into a chicken. It’ll be hilarious.” 

It was, actually. It was incredibly hilarious and she doubted Tiberius would ever ask her to go to a party ever again, but it was so very worth it. The moment he was egged and feathers were thrown at him (it really didn’t take much convincing to get a lot of people involved) he left the party. What a sore loser, Toni thought as she swirled the drink in her hand. The rest of the party was pretty much exactly how she remembered college parties were. She could tell a lot of people were interested in embarrassing her, though, just like they did with Stone. She wouldn’t fall for it a second time though.

“Aren’t you going to drink that?” Rhodey asked her. "You've been holding that cup for five minutes now." 

"You've been watching me?" Tony gasped, trying to hide her tell-tale smirk. Rhodey was no fool though, he saw right through her; like he always did.

"Har har. Very funny." He huffed. "I was worried something would happen to you, so I just kept an eye out." He murmured. "It's why I agreed to come in the first place. I generally hate parties." That… that hit hard. Toni never knew Rhodey wasn't a fan of parties like this, but he always followed her in her last life. He was always there to watch over her, even when she wasn't a girl. All this time she thought Rhodey was just shy, but really enjoyed parties. All this time, she was wrong. She smiled sadly and looked at her drink wondering what she ever did to deserve him.

“I thought you’d like parties.” She admitted a bit sadly. “I don’t know, maybe you’d interact with new people who weren’t complete assholes and make friends that aren’t batshit crazy like me.” Rhodey raised a brow at her.

“Trust me, I’d rather deal with your crazy than their brand of ‘friendship’.” Toni frowned at him, wondering if maybe she had forced Rhodey into being her friend. Maybe he didn’t want to ‘deal’ with her… Oh man, she was a terrible person wasn’t she? Rhodey shook his head as if knowing exactly what Toni was thinking. “I’m kidding, Tones, believe it or not I actually like spending time with you. But these guys? They’re not nice people, but you are.” Toni blinked.

“Huh.” She looked at Rhodey and then smiled coyly. “Why are we here then? Next time, let’s just bail.” Rhodey chuckled, shaking his head.

“Why don’t we just bail now? I know several places much better than this one to hang out.” Toni could easily agree with him, but as of right now she was on a mission. She had to stay, at least for a bit.

"It's not my drink." She admitted, answering Rhodey’s long forgotten question and swirling the drink with her hand. "It belongs to some girl who happened to leave it on the table." She explained, tipping the cup slightly to the direction of that same table.

"Why did you take her drink?" Rhodey frowned, not quite getting her logic. Why take a drink if you aren't even going to drink it? And why was this relevant to them escaping this party?

“I saw some asshole put something in that girl’s cup.” She hummed in contemplation. "I'm holding onto it and trying to figure out how to make it look like I'm drinking it."

"Why?" 

"I'm Toni Stark." She said with the usual confidence that came with that proclamation. "Why go for some random pretty face when you can go for a bratty rich kid who probably got here 'cause of her daddy's money? I mean, bragging rights… right?" She noticed Rhodey's face grow dark, and she couldn't say she blamed him. It was a rather fucked up thing to think about. "As long as I'm holding onto this cup, that bastard thinks he'll get me and won't go for another girl. When I figure out how to look like I'm drinking this and get rid of the liquid in here, I'll pretend I'm affected by the drink. He'll probably try and grab me then, and when we're alone I'm going to kick his ass." It was a good plan, she mused. Hopefully it would teach the guy a lesson. 

Rhodey looked at her for a moment before he huffed in annoyance. Yeah, Rhodey would probably think her plan was stupid. But hey, it would all work out one way or another. Maybe she could have him work with her! She expected him to begrudgingly offer his assistance, like he always did whenever she came up with these dumb plans, or even just step aside and let her do her thing. She did not, however, expect him to simply grab the drink from her hand. "Hey!" She complained trying to get it back, but Rhodey was already making his way towards the kitchen. "Rhodey gimme that back." She whined, following him and trying to reach for her drink. Curse her tiny physique, and curse Rhodey for using it against her. She couldn't do anything as he poured her roofied drink down the drain. "Why would you do that?" She sighed, feeling slightly defeated.

"Toni I know you were trying to do good and I know you're tough as nails… but this? This is a monumentally idiotic idea and I can't believe someone as smart as you thought it up." He threw the plastic cup away and crossed his arms. He was glaring at her now, was that disappointment in his face? No, it looked more like an angry concern. "Your heart was in the right place, but who's to say it would go according to plan? What if instead of teaching him a lesson, you just encouraged him to be more violent? What if he starts to target you personally? What if it was more than one guy? What if you fail to stop him?" When he put it like that, Rhodey had a point. Toni felt herself frown, looking down. "Sometimes Toni, I think you're too giving. You're a kind person, and people can take advantage of that… I wish you were more selfish." He shook his head. "Don't put yourself in danger if you can simply avoid it." He chided softly, putting both hands on her shoulders.

"So he gets away?" She asked quietly, ruefully. It was unfair that scum like that could get away with shit like this.

"No. We figure out a way to get him locked up without putting you in danger." Rhodey shook his head. "Catch him in the act and expose him. Find evidence and use it against him." 

"Okay. I can do that." She nodded, feeling newfound determination. She had her phone with her, one leagues ahead of any current brick. It was similar to the StarkPhones of the future in all aspects, but she was the only one who had one. The world isn't ready for this, after all. 

"I'll help you." He smiled kindly. “Do you want me to get you something else to drink?” He asked with a wink.

"Oh yes please, but don't mind me when I conveniently place it somewhere without paying attention." She grinned at him. She had to admit that she missed the days where Rhodey was her partner in crime. She was glad she had him again in this lifetime and she hoped they would be friends until her dying breath. 

In the end, they managed to catch the jackass red handed. The next day, the police got an anonymous video of him trying to put drugs in girls' drinks and he wasn't seen since. Toni couldn't help the victorious grin that formed on her face, and she noticed Rhodey sported a similar one. They were sitting down on a grassy hill, lazing about and eating sandwiches (a simple PB&J as Toni was no chef) before they had to go to their respective classes. 

"You know, aside from your roofied drink, I don't think I saw you grab anything else from the shelf." Rhodey mentioned before taking a bite. He briefly wondered if this was a decent meal in Toni's eyes, it was all he saw her eating. He made a note to drag her home sometime and have her eat with his family.

“That's because I didn't." She smiled brightly at him. "I’m underaged, not to mention I don’t want to be an alcoholic like dad.” She explained. She remembered how dependent on the bottle she had been before. She somehow still felt a mental need for a good drink, ruefully remembering the pleasant burn of strong whiskey down her throat. She could simply just monitor her alcohol intake this time around, but she decided she didn't want to risk it. She vividly remembered Pepper's concerned gaze and Rhodey's sad smile whenever they saw her with another bottle. No, this time she would figure out a different way to forget her problems and numb away the pain. A healthier one, too. She refused to replace one problem with another.

"That's surprisingly mature of you." Rhodey commented.

"I can be surprisingly mature sometimes." She winked at him.

Chapter 2

Notes:

Due to popular demand and my increased inability to sleep, have this!

Also, what the fuck are action sequences and how do you write one?

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Two years passed faster than Toni would have liked, but she had enjoyed every second of it. Rhodey and her had become inseparable and could rarely be seen apart from one another. Toni knew Rhodey had other friends aside from her that he enjoyed spending time with, but most of the time he’d rather hang around her. At first, when she realized she was monopolizing all of Rhodey’s time, she tried distancing herself a bit in hopes that he wouldn’t get annoyed at her. The moment he realized what was happening he threatened to handcuff the two of them together until Toni got over herself. 

It wasn’t long before people started wondering about them and their relationship. Neither Toni nor Rhodey really thought much about it aside from “we’re best of pals” until someone outright asked "so are you two together or something?" Toni did her best not to gag at the thought of dating Rhodey. It's not that she didn’t love him, it's that she loved him like a brother. She glanced at him, and was relieved to see he was sporting a similar expression.

"No. We aren't." He said firmly before looking at her. The moment he saw her grin approvingly at him, the tenseness in his shoulders relaxed and he gave her a fond look. "It's just that if I don't look after her I'm afraid she'd take over the world out of boredom." His eyes widened when Toni's grin turned manic.

"Oh, what a splendid idea!" She immediately turned and ran. "Thanks Rhodes!" She yelled after him as she ran towards her dorm room, laughing carefree when she heard Rhodey's long winded sigh. Those were some of Toni’s best days, though she knew they were going to run short soon enough. 

Rhodey, the ever observant best friend, couldn’t help but notice how Toni was progressively looking more and more worn down the closer it came to winter break. He knew Toni’s home situation wasn’t really ideal; what with Howard running off to find his long lost buddy in butt-fuck nowhere and Maria not quite sure how to properly handle such a genius kid, it wasn’t much of a shock that Toni didn’t understand what a functional family was like. He knew she had an interesting relationship with her dad, one where they both respected each other and cared for one another, but were so emotionally constipated that they didn’t know how to interact outside of the lab. And he knew she adored her mom, even if she practically let her daughter run wild with little to no guidance. 

Despite all of their shortcomings, Toni was always looking forward to when she got to go back home. Toni also absolutely adored her butler Jarvis, almost like he himself was family. So really, Rhodey couldn’t really think of a reason why Toni didn’t want to go back home. When he asked her she simply smiled wryly and claimed to have a bad feeling. He couldn’t help but feel like there was more to it. “If you ever need a place to go, you’re always welcome to come over Tones.” He once told her honestly, ignoring the way his bones cracked when she gave him a hug. 

Eventually, Thanksgiving passed and Christmas was fast approaching. Toni continuously pestered both of her parents without remorse, deciding to spend every second of the day with them if she could. She was surprised with how they took it with stride, letting her wiggle her way towards wherever they were going.

“Okay, why are you following us around like this, sweetheart?” Her mother finally asked after the fifth time she snuck into the car to go with them wherever they were heading towards. “Is this your version of a rebellious phase?” Tony noticed her father’s shoulders shake lightly from internalized laughter, but she decided not to comment on it.

“I just really miss you guys.” She said with a shrug, not quite telling the full truth but not quite lying either. “I spent my whole life, literally a decade and a half, with you and then suddenly I’m elsewhere because education is supposedly important.” She huffed, fastening her seatbelt with purpose. “Since I’m on break, I’m going to spend as much of it with you as I can.” She noticed her mother’s eyes soften.

“Okay.” Since then, neither her mother nor her father bothered asking her if she would like to join them in their ride. They’d simply tell her they were going somewhere and in less than a minute she was ready to go. The amount of times she ended up being a glorified bag holder was ridiculous, but it was worth it if only because she got to see them alive. 

She briefly entertained the idea that maybe, just maybe, Barnes wouldn’t come for her parents. Sure she met Rhodey at M.I.T., but maybe that was just a coincidence. It took her a total of three seconds to scoff that theory away. She doubted it wouldn’t happen, and she would prepare herself as best she could; which was almost completely unprepared considering she didn’t have as much of a free reign as she wanted.

This meant she couldn’t just build an Iron Man suit or even some sort of weapon. Her dad had eyes on her whenever she was in the lab, and there was nowhere subtle for her to try and build it. She couldn’t exactly just build a suit under his nose, and she sure as hell wouldn’t be able to give any reasonable explanation as to why she could build something so impossibly futuristic. By doing that, she would be needlessly exposing herself to the world and painting an even bigger target on her family’s back. 

She couldn’t build a gun for her to use, plus she doubted she’d be able to sneak it into the car. She also just didn’t like using guns. So guns were also a big no. Knives maybe? She highly doubted she’d survive a close-up fight with a trained assassin. Sure, she had memories of how to fight from her previous timeline, but her fighting style was always based on the suit; and sure she’s been doing various forms of martial arts since she was young, having begged her parents for self defense classes, but Barnes would have more years of experience than her. He also trained against deadlier opponents than her. 

Fighting him in general just seemed like an awful plan, so she’d just let that be plan B. What she did have was a memory of the trigger words. She had helped Barnes with the trigger in the previous timeline by giving him access to BARF; so she had to program in the trigger words. She was thankful she decided to memorize that shit. Plan A was to use Barnes’ brainwashing against him and make him get the fuck out of her parents’ front yard. She also had a safehouse she bought using an alias right under her dad’s nose, but she couldn’t go there lest someone make the connection of that building with her. 

For a moment, she debated simply trying to convince her parents not to leave at all. If they weren’t on the road when they were supposed to be, then there was no danger of them getting killed; Barnes wouldn’t be able to find them and they would be safe. The problem with that plan, however, was that HYDRA would absolutely try again and she wouldn’t know when they would hit. She had to take Barnes on when she knew he would be there, otherwise she’d be going in blind. Not to mention she doubted either parent would cancel their much deserved vacation just because of her whims; they loved her, but that was too much to ask.

She hummed softly as she made the finishing touches for JARVIS’ code. He was so very much beautiful and she couldn’t wait to see how this version of JARVIS grew up. She’d have to make FRIDAY again at some point. She considered making a different A.I. altogether, not wanting to simply replace her dear old JARVIS from her previous lifetime; but she decided that if babies that were born in her last timeline could still be born in this timeline, then JARVIS should have a chance to exist in this timeline as well. This time, though, she wouldn’t accidentally get him killed. 

“Hello, I am JARVIS, your personal assistant and companion.” Tony grinned cheekily with the slight addition of code she added. It would be rendered absolutely pointless after this moment, but by Newton was it worth it… even if no one would ever get the reference until many, many years later.

“Hi JARVIS, I’m Toni Stark.” She smiled. “Would you like to help me make you a baby brother?” Dum-E, U and Butterfingers had yet to be built and since she technically didn’t want to stand out too much more than she already has, she decided to somewhat follow her previous timeline’s example. Dum-E was going to be her senior thesis, and then she’d get two more additions to her robotic family.

“Antoinette Stark, daughter of Howard and Maria Stark. Future C.E.O. of Stark Industries and my creator.” JARVIS was looking through the database she made for him. What a smart bean. “It would be my pleasure to assist you, Sir.” Toni smiled. She wanted JARVIS to keep calling her ‘sir’, despite the change in gender; it was what he had always called her and she felt nostalgic. Maybe one day she’d be able to let go of that, but for now this was what she wanted.

“It’s good to have you onboard, J.” She said honestly as she finished creating an app on her phone that allowed JARVIS to be with her at all times. “We’re going to have to keep you a secret for a bit. We’re nowhere near as advanced in computer science to explain an A.I. as advanced as you.” 

“Of course, Sir.” JARVIS responded easily. Toni beamed at her computer.

At night, she was usually found awake preparing for the 16th. She had little to no time left, but that was fine. She snuck into her father’s lab and eventually created a version of the serum that would only work for an hour before the person who took it returned to being a normal human; when she was confident it would work she even tested it herself, much to JARVIS’ chagrin. It paid off to study Extremis and all of her father’s notes on the Super Soldier Serum in her previous life. She happily dumped all of the super soldier serums down the drain and refueled the vials with her mock serum. She then made one extra vial for herself to use on her encounter with Barnes; just in case.

She hummed happily as she got rid of any evidence. She refused to allow the creation of any more Super Soldier assassins, regardless if they were HYDRA or SHIELD or whatever; two was more than enough. Now, all she needed to do was get two tranquilizers and she’d be set! She vividly remembered her dad clumsily walking out of the car only to get shot. She refused to let that happen and, besides, she didn’t really want either of her parents to see her fight a super soldier.

Soon enough, she was as prepared for the confrontation as best she could. She was tired and nervous, but she was ready. She continued to spend every waking moment with her parents, making sure they’d never leave the house without her. 

Eventually, much to Toni’s despair, the 16th came. Toni took a moment to just breathe and calm down her nerves before tackling on this fuckfest of a day. First and foremost was to make sure her parents would take her along with them. She’s been tagging along every time, so maybe they’ll be a bit more accepting of her presence in the trip. 

“Toni, we can’t take you with us to the airport.” Her mother offered a smile. “You know we’ve been planning this for some time now… just this once let us go?” No way in hell, Toni thought. She smiled cheekily and shook her head.

“I can drive the car back! I just want to spend as much time with you as possible before you two abandon me here in this big, old and empty mansion.” She pretended to feel hurt, though both parents knew it was just an act and simply rolled their eyes at her antics.

“We’re going somewhere we can’t take you.” Howard sighed, surprising both Maria and Toni. Neither woman thought he’d reveal that much to Toni, SHIELD being a super secret and all that.

“How about this, you blind fold me the way there.” That definitely made Howard’s eyebrows raise and Maria’s face expressed shock. Toni shrugged. “I really just want to go with you guys, please? I just… I have a bad feeling that something’s going to happen if I don’t go with you. I trust my gut, mom always says a woman’s intuition is never wrong.” She admitted, hoping it would sway either parent’s opinion on her tagging along. The three entered into a staring contest, each trying to get the other to back down. Howard broke first with a sigh.

“Fine. It’s about time you learned what Auntie Peggy and I have been doing since our youth.” Howard rubbed the bridge of his nose. Toni blinked, had her dad been thinking of including her in his secret world? Had he been thinking of doing that in her previous lifetime as well? Oddly enough, she was touched. She knew SHIELD meant quite a lot to Howard, so much so that Tony busted his ass trying to keep it afloat even when they took advantage of him. Toni already decided she wouldn’t head down that path, regardless of her father’s love for the organization, but she never expected dear old dad to open the door to said path. She was glad he wasn’t forcing her to join him though, just telling him it exists. She’ll probably have to sign NDAs, but that’s to be expected.

“Thanks daddy!” Toni smiled brightly, hugging her dad with vigor. They were still a bit awkward with each other outside the lab, but Toni had always been physically affectionate. The moment her dad didn’t scorn her away when she first hugged him was the moment he became free real estate for her hugs.

She smiled, quickly grabbing her purse with the modified serum and the tranquilizers before hopping into the backseat of the car. She noticed her dad putting the familiar black briefcase in the trunk, not knowing the contents were altered. Her mom shook her head with a fond smile and went to the shotgun seat just as her father made his way to the driver’s seat. “Make sure to buckle up!” Toni said cheerfully when everyone was in the car. Howard simply grumbled, but clipped his seatbelt dutifully. Maria chuckled as she buckled hers. 

The entire ride Toni was talking animatedly with her parents, making sure to enjoy however much time they had until Barnes showed up. Make no mistake though, her eyes were peeled and looking for wherever the shooter would be hidden. It took a while before she saw a glint coming from the woods, a few seconds later and the car swerved. Both Maria and Howard grunted as the car slammed onto a tree, Toni simply braced herself. She’d have a bruise across her chest from the seatbelt for a few days, but otherwise she was fine. She didn’t know the severity of the damage her parents took considering they were simply reported as dead the last time, but she hoped it wasn’t so bad. Quickly, while Howard and Maria were still in shock from the crash, she grabbed the two tranquilizers and stabbed both her parents with the needle, inserting the liquid and watching as they almost immediately became unconscious. She noticed a figure approaching the car, and quickly downed the super serum vial, not knowing if she’d have another chance. 

“Okay J., time to start the show. Kill the camera.” She didn’t wait for him to give his affirmative before she unbuckled her belt and exited the car. “Hi there Mr. Winter Soldier, you wouldn’t be willing to simply fuck off now would you?” When the soldier simply started to raise his gun she knew her answer. She also immediately dodged, just barely missing the bullet. “Okay first of all, rude! And second of all, Zhelaniye!” 

The soldier immediately tensed, recognizing the word; it was kind of weird how his facial expression never changed from expressionless. He pointed his gun at her again, but she was already on the move. Can’t stay still when there’s an assassin chasing you, after all. She heard him fire at her, feeling a bullet graze her arm. She hissed in pain but continued on saying the words she had dutifully memorized in another lifetime. “Rzhaccy.” Another bullet, another graze. The serum seemed to be working just fine though, considering the first wound was already closing. She smiled at her ingenuity, glad she took the time to develop it.

“Semnadtsat!” She shouted. Her pronunciation was probably shit, but it didn’t matter as long as the words did their job. “Rassvet.” She dodged another bullet, not quite willing to test out if her version of the serum would still heal bullet wounds deeper than a graze. “Pech.” The soldier seemed to give up on shooting her, and started running towards her with a knife in hand. Maybe he ran out of bullets? “Devyat.” She ran as well, away from him. She doubted she’d be able to overpower the soldier, not to mention she didn’t really want to hurt him. She knew he was a victim, after all. “Dobroserdechnyy.” Three more words, she could do this. “Vozvrashcheniye na- Gah!” She barely dodged a knife that he apparently tried throwing at her. “Vozvrashcheniye na rodinu.” She hissed. “Odin.” She jumped over a fallen log and hid behind a tree, dodging another knife. Where did he get all of those knives? “GROZOVOY VAGON!” She finished with a shout.

There was a silence, with the exception of her frantic heart beat. She drew in a deep breath and looked around the tree, praying the soldier didn’t shoot her in the face. He stood in front of her with the same expressionless face he held before. “Ready to comply.” She grinned despite herself.

“Follow me… uh, Soldat.” She paused for a beat before turning to him again with a scowl. “Also, fuck you. Seriously, did you have to shoot so many bullets at me?” She huffed as she started walking back towards the road where her parents didn’t die. Hurray, mission success! She heard shuffling behind her and she knew the soldier was following her, as she had ordered. “Your previous mission is void. I am your new handler, and your new mission is to guard the new base.” She said coldly, making sure not to leave any loopholes in her orders. She couldn’t afford to lose him now that she had him. When HYDRA realizes that their precious asset is gone, she’ll be in such deep shit. Well, as long as they don’t think she’s the one that has their asset she should be fine. She’d have to act like she didn’t know what happened, obviously, but she also had to act scared. Should she mention she saw the Winter Soldier? Or should she simply act like he never showed up? Would HYDRA start stalking her now? 

With a sigh, she made the executive decision of not thinking about that right now. She looked at the familiar sight of her family car and smiled as she saw both her parents sitting there without a bullet in their head or a purple mark on their throat. She did it. She saved them. For once, she felt like she did something right. She drew a shaky breath before going into the backseat and grabbing her purse. There was a piece of paper in it, alongside a key. The address and key to the safehouse. She’d soon have a system to defend the place and have JARVIS implemented in that system, but for now this was as much protection as she could offer.

“Go here and hide. Make sure no one finds or follows you. In a day, food will arrive. It should be enough to last you a month, even with your super soldier metabolism.” She instructed. “Wait for me there, and don’t leave.” He grabbed the paper and the key and nodded. "I'll help you as much as I can." She promised with a soft smile as she watched him leave. Toni sighed, feeling both the adrenalin and the serum start to wear off. She knew her parents would be waking up shortly, so she had to prepare for that. She then grabbed her phone and called 911.

It didn’t take long for an ambulance to be sent their merry way, and Toni was sure to keep her eyes open for any more potential threats up until she saw the glorious white van with a red cross. She sighed with relief when the paramedics came and took her parents. They looked her over, but deemed her healthy enough not to need an ambulance ride to the hospital. Instead, the good officer who was taking her statement would drive her. She loathed to be separated from her parents, but she didn’t argue. It would have been too suspicious if she argued.

She gave her statement, got the ride to the hospital, and waited patiently for the doctors to be done with her parents. In the meanwhile, she called Jarvis to let him know everything was okay and that they just had a minor accident. He’d be there to pick her up in about an hour, and not a second later. She didn’t mind and told him to take his time, she was fine waiting on her parents.

It didn’t take long before her dad woke up, and she smiled brightly at him. They talked for a bit before Maria also woke up. “I’m glad you both are doing okay.” She said honestly, smiling warmly at them. “I love you both.” Her dad froze at her admission and her mom smiled fondly at her.

“We love you too, darling.” Maria reached out for Toni’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“You are my greatest joy, Antoinette.” Toni almost stopped breathing, she looked at her dad with tears in her eyes. She knew he loved her and she knew he knew she loved him, it’s just that the two were never good at admitting their feelings. She couldn’t help the joyful smile on her face. It honestly felt like she was walking on cloud nine. 

“Get better old man, so I can give you a bone crushing hug.” She told him with a grin. He offered her a huff before cracking into a smile. 

“Okay Toni.” 

They continued to talk together for the rest of the night, up until visiting hours were closed and Jarvis arrived to pick up Toni. Unfortunately, her parents had to stay a night just to make sure nothing bad happened, but they’d be back home before she knew it. Toni still felt a spike of anxiety at leaving her parents alone, but there wasn’t much she could do. She didn’t own her own hospital with a high level of security to send them to and she wasn’t a legal adult that could decide what happened to them. She smiled at them as she waved them goodbye, and repeated to herself that she stopped their murder. They were alive and well. 

She saved them.

Toni went to bed with a smile on her face and a light heart.

She woke up with dread.

Maybe it was the way Jarvis was shaking her awake when he should be at home with his wife or maybe it was because she was separated from her newly saved parents. Maybe it was because she heard a barely audible noise coming from downstairs.

Jarvis looked at her with a finger on his lip and she nodded in understanding. As quietly as she could, she slipped out of bed, grabbed her phone and followed Jarvis to her father’s office room. Knowing her dad, there was probably some sort of weapon there he took from the lab to keep working on while Maria slept. Hopefully it was something that would keep them both safe. 

Slowly, Jarvis closed the door behind them and locked it. He put a chair against the door as a second barrier of sorts and looked around. When his eyes landed on a half finished gun, he grimaced. Toni immediately went to the gun and worked as quickly and quietly as she could. It was rather odd, working on such outdated technology she promised to never touch again, but needs must. Jarvis raised a brow at her, but didn’t say a word because he was just utterly amazing like that.

She really did love her butler. Speaking of which… “JARVIS, call 911.” She whispered to her phone. “Tell them what’s going on.” Jarvis frowned at her in utter confusion, not quite understanding just what exactly she expected of him. They needed to be as quiet as possible, and a phone call to the police was certainly not quiet.

“Understood, sir.” A tiny voice was barely heard coming from her phone, startling Jarvis. Toni smiled with pride at how her beautiful creation was already understanding how to act in certain situations; it kept her from falling into a fit of panic. As she finished the gun, she couldn’t help but wonder if this was all her fault. She didn’t remember a break-in the night her parents died in the previous timeline; in fact she didn’t really remember much as Tony was in a constant state of drunkenness for the following few weeks. If she and Jarvis were to die because she wanted to save her parents, she wouldn’t know what to do with herself. She refused to regret stopping Barnes, but she really hoped it didn’t mean Jarvis would have to die. He didn’t deserve that.

She focused on getting the gun finished, having to basically dismantle it and rebuild it to shoot office supplies instead of whatever bullets Howard intended to be used with the gun. She hoped sharpened pencils and her father’s collection of fountain pens at high velocity would do enough damage to neutralize, or at least slow down, the target. With a deep breath she loaded the odd gun and examined it for any errors she might have made. When she was satisfied, she changed the grip in order to be able to use it. To her surprise, Jarvis immediately took the gun from her, giving her a stern glare in case she tried to argue. Which she would have except she noticed her hands were shaking; not the best thing to have happen when you’re holding a gun, pen bullets or not. 

Also, Jarvis fought in a war and probably had more experience handling a gun than she did. Sure, she had her previous life to go by, but even Tony avoided guns as much as possible. Still, she hated how shaken up she was. She also fought in a war, and she went through so much more shit than a home invasion. She was tortured for Franklin’s sake! She should be better than this! So why was she bordering on panic? Just because her actions have consequences? She knew that! She should just be able to deal with whatever fallout happens like she always did. 

Jarvis motioned for her to get under the table, a decent enough hiding spot, so she did. Jarvis might have been a butler, but he knew his shit. He was also kind of freaking her out with his calm demeanor. She briefly wondered if he had done something similar to this before, but quickly dispelled the idea as the man literally refused any calls after 9 so that he may go to bed with his wife. The adorable sap.

“Later,” he whispered as quietly as he could, “you must explain to me why there is a voice named Jarvis coming from your odd celular device.” He spoke in a tone that was pretty much no nonsense and Toni smiled sheepishly. She was also grateful for the hidden meaning. Later, he said. He believed there would be a later. They would be alright. Jarvis’ word was law, so if he said it would be okay then it would be okay.

“And later,” she whispered back, “you’re going to tell me why you’re so calm.” The twinkling look in his eyes matched with his mischievous smile made Toni even more curious. 

“It’s a deal, young miss.” 

They then waited in silence, listening to quiet footsteps skulking through the house. It was nerve wracking. Toni would much rather just be kidnapped so that she could just escape the place with a nifty little explosion happening behind her back as she normally did. She kept reminding herself to take deep breaths, and that everything would be fine. She could protect Jarvis and herself… somehow.

After what felt like literal ages but was closer to a couple of minutes, she heard a noise coming from the other side of the door. She froze, feeling a sense of dread washing over her once more. She felt Jarvis’ free hand gently wrap around hers in an attempt to offer comfort, and she shakily smiled at him. 

She looked around the room, seeing what kind of objects she could use to defend herself. Different plans formed in her mind for different scenarios that she could think of. It didn’t help that she had no idea who was behind that door, but she made educated guesses. She doubted it was Barnes, he left a while ago; but she wouldn’t rule out any Hydra agent. She also wouldn’t rule out SHIELD. 

The doorknob twisted silently, the only indication that the person behind the door was trying to open it. Toni swore she heard her heart thump aggressively against her chest; illogically, she feared the person behind that door heard it too. Seconds felt like years as she waited for the intruder to either open the door or walk away. When the door refused to open, there was no more sound. Toni let out a shaky breath of relief, though she knew the threat wasn’t over. If she had to guess, the asshole on the other side of the door would be checking all of the other rooms before making noise and barging in on this one.

Sometimes, she really hated how she tended to be right when ten agonizingly silent and tense minutes passed and she heard something slam against the door once, twice, five times, seven, and then eleven times, when the door finally gave in and broke. She felt something on her arm, Jarvis' hand. It was meant as a gesture of comfort, but also a reminder to remain calm. She controlled her breathing, waiting silently alongside her pseudo father while listening in to far too loud footsteps around her. Seconds felt like eternities as though time itself were slowing down around her, until suddenly everything happened at once. 

The assailant, a tall male packed with hidden knives, some handguns and a sniper rifle strapped on his back, walked in front of them. He had a gun in hand and a bullet-proof jacket. Desks are only good hiding spots if no one looks at them and, rather unfortunately, the man did. Jarvis was quick to shoot the makeshift gun, definitely surprising the man, and managed to hit him on the eye. It would most definitely be a sight Toni won’t forget anytime soon. The man shouted in pain and immediately pressed the trigger, shooting several bullets in their general direction. Thankfully, both Jarvis and herself were quick enough to get out of the desk before any shots were fired. Toni pushed passed him, somehow knocking the man over as she moved away quickly.

Jarvis and Toni immediately ran towards the door, attempting to get out of there as quickly as possible. "I have checked the security logs, there is a vehicle available in the garage." JARVIS spoke from the phone in her pocket. Jarvis looked at her and nodded, already leading the charge towards the garage. Toni easily followed, not daring to look behind her. She knew that if she looked back she'd only get distracted and might even become compromised with fear. She needed to focus.

Soon enough, they made it to the garage. Toni knew they didn't have much time to leave considering she was already hearing footsteps as she entered the car, but she refused to lose herself to panic. They were almost out anyways, just turn the car on and drive. Sitting in the passenger side, she closed her eyes for a moment as Jarvis clicked on his seatbelt and recollected herself. She felt the car start to move and she opened her eyes again. Soon enough, the two were speeding through the Stark's stupid long driveway, Toni couldn't help the smile that formed when Jarvis cut through the front yard. She felt the muscles in her body ease up as the dread started to seep out of her.

Not a second later she heard a gunshot, followed by Jarvis swerving the car. It was this moment as the car crashed onto a tree that she couldn't help but wonder why the fuck she forgot to put on her seatbelt. She was quick to protect her head as she was slammed against the window, breaking through it and harshly landing on the ground. Dear Einstein she felt a world of pain, almost as badly as getting open heart surgery in Afghanistan. 

The world was white noise for a moment and her vision was blurred. She noticed a figure approaching her, but he was so far away. He was leaving her house and she was… somewhere. She couldn't really think much, there was just pain. Suddenly, the figure was right next to her lifting her up. Harsh noises came from him, and she didn't understand. It hurt too fucking much for her to understand. She closed her eyes, only to feel something aggressively shake her. Something told her she had to understand, so she forced herself to focus. She looked at the man's lips, trying to read them. 

"...the fuck did you know the triggers?" The words barely came through, but Toni heard them. Triggers? She looked up in confusion, not quite understanding what this man was trying to ask of her. He shook her again, and she gritted her teeth in pain. She glanced to the car to see Jarvis's unconscious figure over the wheel, dread began to mix in with the pain as she started remembering what situation she was in. She grimaced, realizing she was probably heavily concussed. Another shake. Shit, that hurt. "I don't have all night, kid." 

"Fuck this." She felt something cold against her temple and holy fuck did it feel amazing against the raging headache; that is, until she realized just what he had put on her head: the tip of a gun. Oh, she died here. She closed her eyes accepting this fate. She didn't care much if she lived or died now, she already lived her life anyways. It was just a bummer that her second chance would end so soon.

A bang could be heard, followed by the drop of a body. 

Toni felt nauseous and dizzy as she hit the grass below her. She opened her eyes noticing the assailant's body in front of hers, she noticed the blood seeping out of the fresh hole on his head. It didn't take long before she numbly felt her body being lifted yet again, though this time it was gentler and firmer. She felt herself be pulled towards something warm and firm. She forced her eyes to focus and saw a familiar.

"Stay awake, malyshka." The words were said in a harsh murmur, but there was no ill intent in them. It was strangely almost comforting. As much as she wanted to comply to the gruff words, she could feel unconsciousness creeping closer. With the last of her will power, she looked once more towards the car wreck. Jarvis was awake now, staring in horror at her as he was unable to do anything to assist her. She felt relief knowing he was alive. Good, no regrets then.

She closed her eyes happily as she was taken further and further away from her home and her pseudo father. Not much she could do about it, but she did say she preferred to be kidnapped anyhow. At least this way she could make a fun explosion or something of the sort. Bring it , she thought.

She smiled as unconsciousness finally took hold of her.

Notes:

Malyshka - little girl in Russian

Chapter 3: Update

Summary:

Just an update! Not story, but we'll get there.

Chapter Text

Hey friends!

First and foremost, I am not cancelling RaG! I do intend on continuing it and I already have a fourth of a chapter written. I'm working hard to get that chapter done a.s.a.p., and in the interim I wanted to give you guys updates on the chapter, why it's taking a while longer than normal, and how you can support me if you want to.

So, as some of you may know my update schedule is a chapter ever blue moon... which, sorry about that but man is life hectic. As I mentioned before, the next upcoming chapter is already in the works and I have a solid plan as to how I'm going to write it, which in turn makes writing it go a little bit faster and a little bit easier.

The reason as to why it's taken me an eternity and a half to write it up let alone give you fine patient folk some news is actually something I'm incredibly excited about...

I'M MAKING A GAME!!
Which oo ahh great that's awesome... buuut, drum roll please, the exciting thing about it is that I HAVE A DEMO OUT FOR IT!

My incredible team of 5, myself included, have been busting ass to get this out for Steam Next Fest and honestly it's been such a joy to work on and I'm incredibly proud of where we are at. That being said, I'm going to take a moment more of your time to say please oh pretty please go check it out! The name of the game is Soul Split and it would mean the world to me if you could wishlist it and, if you're feeling like trying a fun epic psx style rogue like, try out the demo. Not only would you get to try out my studio's first ever game, but you'd be supporting us and also me.

Since the demo is now officially out, this means I have more time to actually breathe and not have to fuel myself on caffeine and sugar highs and actually sleep and be a proper human being. (That being said, I empathize deeply with Toni's caffeine addiction cause man oh man does it keep a gal awake.)
More time to breathe and be a proper human being means more time to actually do other things I enjoy doing... like writing a certain story and publishing it in a certain website. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

Sooo yeah. That's what's been going on.
I have plans for the future to do other things too, like make a youtube acc and continue writing my own book to eventually publish somewhere someday; but for now I want to focus on finishing up this fic and also my game.
I really greatly appreciate the patience and support all of you lovely people have given me throughout the impromptu hiatus, and I want to honor it with a chapter that is absolutely worth reading and worth the wait.

Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart.

-Angel

Chapter 4

Summary:

Hi there! As promised: a brand new shiny chapter!
Terribly sorry it has taken as long as it has to get out. Between work and work, there is only so little breathing room to write but a promise is a promise and this bad boy is here!
Thanks to all who’ve supported me with your lovely comments and kudos! I read every single one of them and appreciate it immensely. For those who are curious about my game, Soul Split, we’ll be releasing a kickstarter soon! Which is so beyond hype! Especially since I’m making a monster manual for one of the tier rewards!! Guys, I get to draw all the enemies I’ve animated all this time.
Anyways, I already have the outline for the next chapter out and oh my god its going to be fun to write. So stay tuned!

Chapter Text

Toni woke up in an unfamiliar room; a surprisingly new experience for this lifetime. Gone were the days she slept with every pretty face that suited her fancy, or so she thought. Had she somehow gone back to her old tendencies when she was still Tony? No, that was pretty much impossible as those days were long, long behind her… a lifetime away, really. 

So then, what’s with the new surroundings? The last thing she remembered was Jarvis looking at her like he saw a ghost… wait why was he looking at her like that? It took about a minute before memories of what happened at her home returned to her. She grimaced, looking at her new surroundings. It looked like a hospital room, but it was far too empty. She wasn’t restrained, so either the room was a prison or she wasn’t a prisoner. At least she wasn’t some sort of science experiment, otherwise she had no doubt she’d have something other than an infusion pump keeping her in place. Without much care she yanked the needle from her arm and started to push herself up. 

Man, she was sore. It almost felt like an Avengers after battle nap, a nasty one at that. She grunted when she finally reached a sitting position. The room was white, and so was everything in it, white and sterile. She hated that hospital smell with a passion. The door wasn’t too far away, considering the room was small it wasn’t that surprising. There was a counter with some random medical whatnots on it and a camera on the corner of the room. 

Toni grinned at it and gave it a cheeky wink. 

With a deep breath she pushed her legs to the side of the bed. “Okay, how hard can standing be?” 

“Very.” She grumbled from her new spot on the floor. She can’t say she was too surprised though, she was in a car crash almost turned murder incident after all. Actually, now that she thought about it, how wasn’t she dead? Didn’t the HYDRA agent catch up to her? 

It was then that the door to her room opened. Toni didn’t bother trying to see who it was that came to see her in her moment of grounded glory, she didn’t feel like she was in any real danger here. 

“Hey, can I get some Advil? My everything hurts.” She smiled beautifully towards the ceiling. A very familiar laugh made Toni immediately perked up. “Aunt Peggy?” Her smile turned into a wide grin. “That you?”

“Hi Toni. Would you like some help?” Aunt Peggy came into view with a bright smile on her face. If Toni’s favorite aunt was here, that meant SHIELD was probably the reason she was alive right now. She doubted they came to save her; they were probably after the surum her dad was supposed to bring to some big shot. The same serum she unceremoniously dumped in the sink long ago. She’s not going to complain though, she was still alive because of them either way. 

“Please and thank you. Moving? Not my forte right now.” Without saying anything else, Aunt Peggy gently started lifting Toni into a sitting position and then eventually helped her back on the bed. “Thanks.” Toni grumbled out, feeling her abused body complain painfully after being moved around. “Got any coffee?” Coffee always made everything better. 

“Aren’t you too young for a caffeine addiction?” 

“Probably.” A beat passed before the two girls started laughing. It was one of those moments of pure joy at just being in the presence of someone you love. It’s been a while since Aunt Peggy came to visit, no doubt being incredibly busy with SHIELD. It was a moment where everything was set aside, all problems momentarily forgotten in order to wholly enjoy this reprieve. 

But it was just that- a short moment. In almost no time at all it ended as Aunt Peggy’s face slowly morphed from joy to concern. Toni knew immediately that they transitioned from family to business. “Toni, what happened?” 

Toni wanted to tell her the truth. She wanted to admit how she basically kidnapped a brainwashed murder machine and saved her parents, how she knew exactly what both SHIELD and HYDRA were. How she was proud of her aunt figure’s profession, even if the organization itself has long since been corrupted from within. 

She trusted Aunt Peggy… but she didn’t trust SHIELD. Not with her life and most certainly not with the truth. 

“I don’t know. The guy that was chasing us was muttering something about a serum… but I have no idea what he was talking about.” Tony frowned. “I wondered if he was some Stark Industry competitor after one of dad’s new products. Did he wait for a time where mom and dad weren’t home?” Toni put on her best ‘I’m so scared’ act, giving her aunt a horrified expression that could even sometimes convince one sharp as a tack Virginia “Pepper” Potts. “Oh god did they cause the car accident??”

“There’s a chance…” Aunt Peggy started slowly before drawing a breath and putting on her most comforting smile. “We’ll figure it out kiddo and make sure it won’t happen again.” It seemed like she didn’t have the heart to interrogate Toni right now. “Why don’t we get you all patched up first though?” Toni smiled, knowing full well no amount of prodding will ever get her to tell the truth. 

To their credit, they didn’t start questioning her until a couple of days passed, giving her more than enough time to get over the more serious damages to her body plus a couple of visits from her parents and even Jarvis (who was, thankfully, doing far better than her). She now likes to joke around that they're all car crash buddies, much to their chagrin. 

They had wheeled her to a new room, one that looked like it had been really quickly been remodeled to be less intimidating. If Toni had to guess, this was an interrogation room that was made to be more cozy for her so she wouldn’t feel threatened and be more open to conversation. Though, it was more likely that Aunt Peggy and her dad threatened whoever was in charge to make Toni feel more comfortable; being a spoiled rich kid definitely had its perks. 

Toni took little to no time monopolizing the largest of the two couches in the room and laid down on it, only a little annoyed she wasn’t tall enough to fully take up all the space. She supposed that she just wasn’t meant to be tall considering her stout stature in both her lives. Oh well, whatever, she was still a badass. 

“You sure made yourself comfortable.” She heard an annoyingly familiar snort. 

“Behave yourself, agent.” Another, more amiable familiar voice chastsized. Toni couldn’t help but think with much amusement that, despite everything that transpired in her last life, she still had a soft spot for the trio of agents that was Clint, Natasha and Coulson. 

“No way, I much enjoy a bit of sass; it adds character.” Toni winked, earning a playful grin from Barton and a tired sigh from Coulson. Admittedly, Toni didn’t really know how she felt right now. Her life as Tony felt so far away, almost like an existence apart from her own that really only served as a warning for the future; but there were some emotions and memories that were too powerful, enough so that they’ve bled through to this life. The memory of the betrayal she felt towards Rogers and his posse was one of them. Tony had made up with the guy but could she really wholeheartedly trust a man who nearly killed Tony and successfully managed to oust and subsequently sentence to death a myriad of SHIELD agents? Could she ignore the fact that he went against the wishes of a multitude of countries essentially to save Barnes. And could she still make friends with the people who followed Rogers? 

They had their reasons, she was all too aware of them after many nights spent ruminating the situation and wondering if there was anything she could have done to change the outcome only to end up with the conclusion that, unless Tony had bent over backwards, nothing would have changed. So she knew they had their reasons, but she didn’t really care if she was being honest. She could forgive but she really just couldn’t forget. 

“We’re sorry to have to call you here while you are still recovering, Miss Stark, but we have some questions only you can answer. I’m Phil Coulson and this is Clint Barton.” Cordious bullshit said to get her to talk easier; she knew full well they had Jarvis to question and, considering her father’s association with SHIELD, enough shitty camera footage to shift through. She wondered how she was so gullible when it came to SHIELD in her past life. Too easy to trust, she mused. 

She looked at the two way mirror, knowing full well they had probably a dozen agents on the other side ready to examine her every word. She also knew Aunt Peggy was there somewhere on standby as a familiar face they can use to manipulate Toni into feeling safer and more willing to open up. She also knew Aunt Peggy was there because she refuses to be in this room to interrogate her. Her aunt was pretty cool. 

“Miss Stark?” Coulson gently brought her attention back to him. For the first time she noticed how much younger he looked, Clint too. The archer looked like the definition of troubled youth. Then again, she probably did too. 

“My parents got in a car crash for no apparent reason, and got sent to the hospital. Afterwards my home was invaded by a heavily armored man. He had several hidden knives and guns on his person. Jarvis had seemingly stayed the night for some reason and was there during the whole ordeal. He woke me up presumably when the security alarms rang and we hid in my father’s office where he sometimes has a gun lying around. Jarvis armed himself while I rang the police. The man found us, Jarvis got a shot in and we ran. We got in a car and tried driving away but the intruder shot a wheel of the car, causing a second Stark car to crash. He picked me up said some shit I could barely hear through my concussion and state of shock about some serum and then got shot by probably one of you before he could shoot me. All of which can be seen in the house’s security tapes which I’m certain dad threw your way with orders to find who sent the bastard who dared to hurt his little girl.” She noticed Barton looked impressed and gave him a smirk. “I’m not dumb and you’re wasting time which, according to every business man ever, is money. What do you actually want?”

“I like her.” Barton whistled. “Can we keep her?” Coulton didn’t say anything, but raised a questioning brow at Barton, which said more than words could ever hope to accomplish. 

“The intruder was targeting you, why was that?” Considering he wasn’t questioning her about the lies she sprinkled in her explanation, they thought she was being completely truthful. It also meant Jarvis kept her JARVIS a secret, she couldn’t help but feel grateful to him. It would be a bit of a bitch to explain why she had such high tech and also to figure out a way to not become a tech slave for SHIELD; they had a nasty habit of trying to get their grubby hands on anything that was hers. “You mentioned he asked for the location of a serum, but if that was what he was after then he wouldn’t have been looking for you.”

Toni shrugged. “I’m Edward Stark’s one and only treasured daughter, and he’s gone on interviews talking about how he spends time with me in the lab. Maybe the dude thought it would be faster to make me talk?”

Coulson stared at her and she stared back, blinking lazily as he observed her. “Very well, until we find out why you were targeted specifically we’ve elected to assign you bodyguards.” Wait what?

“Hold on, I’m 17. I’m old enough not to need a nanny.” It was then that it clicked; this wasn’t an interview, this was a stupid excuse of a meet and greet with her new guard. “I’m going to give you so much hell.” She glared at the archer. 

“Sorry but I’m just following orders.” Barton grinned.  

“He will be accompanied by another agent, Natasha Romanoff.” Great, just great. “This is only a temporary measure. The moment we have deemed you safe from further attacks we will withdraw our agents.”

Toni stared at the both of them momentarily before sighing. “Fine.” She said simply, already standing up. “I’m sure dad agrees.” There wasn’t much she could do right now, but she’d figure it out. Having agents tail her while she was with Murder Mcgee will suck, but she really doesn’t want to just leave him to his own devices for too long; the guy needed help and she was the only one capable of helping him right now. She also refused to hand him over to SHIELD, lest he gets another round at being some sketchy organization’s murder muppet. 

“You gave in a lot easier than I thought you would.” Barton remarks. “Aren’t kids your age more insufferable?”

“Excuse you, but I’m a saint.” She stood up with such energy that you’d think she was the one who asked them here. “Well, if that’s all, then I’ll be heading out.” She walked towards the door before stopping and looking directly at Barton. “Thanks for saving my life, by the way. You and your female partner.” 

She knew it had been Romanoff who had shot whatever gun had killed the agent that held her and also who picked her up from the ground. That deep femanine voice that sometimes added in a falsely affectionate Russian nickname belonged to her only. And where she went Barton followed. The fact they brought Barton in, the more sociable of the two, was evidence of that; after all, why bring in a field agent who usually doesn’t do any of the diplomacy if not to use them as a bargaining tool? She was entirely sure had she said no to body guards, Coulson would’ve mentioned how he had already saved her life once and can do so again or something of that vain. 

Typical. 

With a nod she opened the door, knowing full well she was only allowed to leave because they let her. 

She was discharged not long after, and came home to a very concerned Rhodey. He had only been able to talk to her over the phone and, while he wasn’t really privvy to all the information (yet, because Toni was for sure going to tell him most of everything excluding the Winder Soldier), he knew she was in a second car accident that landed her in the hospital for a while. 

“So you have bodyguards now?” He raised a brow, knowing she’d explain it when the two were alone. “Good, it’s great to know someone else is going to keep you out of trouble. And those lucky bastards are getting paid for it too, where’s my cut?” The best part about Rhodey was how good he was at reading a room and taking hints. 

The moment she had a bit of room for herself, she started making plans. Originally, she was going to use Rhodey as an excuse to visit Barnes, but that felt unfair to her friend and depended harshly on no one questioning her alibi. She knew Rhodes would cover for her, but she also knew she’d have to explain to him what she was doing and he wouldn’t approve. The hideout she had for Barnes was close enough to MIT that she wouldn’t have too mich trouble explaining her drive there. A rich kid choosing to live in a mansion in the weekends instead of old dinky dorms didn’t ring too many bells. It was odd, but not too odd for it to raise too many alarms. The only problem was that she’d probably have to offer rooms to SHIELDs agents and also let them snoop through everything. Then again, it was her property and she could say no, but that would just ring in some alarms. 

Okay, she decided what she should do: sneak out every night. She’d have to perfectly sneak out without them getting a trace of her, and also sneak out while letting them find her probably at a bar or party or something. Give them some red herrings and then use those as a cover for her nightly escapades. She probably wouldn’t be able to visit Barnes as frequently as she’d like, but it would have to do. 

She was grateful that her two guards stayed mostly out of sight, not directly interfering with her life. In fact, if she didn’t know any better she’d guess they weren’t even there. She almost felt bad for them though, which was why she often left snacks or easy food outside her window for them -it almost felt like she was feeding wild cats or something. It did make her admittedly a bit happy whenever she’d check her window and see everything eaten. After a while, she even got a note from Hawkeye saying something along the lines of “plain cheese is good, but I prefer pep.”

Of course the very next day she left a pepperoni pizza out with all the pepperonis drawing out a dick on the pizza. Immature? Maybe. Funny? Absolutely. 

The first few nights after getting back to MIT, she followed through with her plan easily enough. She didn’t go to Barnes, not yet; it was wiser to set up her expected routine first. She even got Rhodey to tag along with her at times, partly to make her cover more believable, partly to hang out with Rhodey, and partly to get Rhodey to feel comfortable enough not to worry about her every time she was out.

The nights spent with Rhodey were the best. Rhodey would get a beer while Toni would stick with soft drinks or water and the two would play pool or darts with anyone willing to lose to the menace that was Toni. Some nights, she’d forego the bars, and go to the school’s library; sometimes going to the library after the bar or drive around aimlessly. She’d also go anywhere else that was open too so that if they noticed she was gone they’d have a multitude of other locations to scout out; which should give her enough time to get back without arousing too much suspicion. She also had JARVIS hook up to any and all surveillance devices to spy on her two guards. 

One night, while she was walking from one bar to the next, she noticed someone other than her two hired stalkers following her. If she was being honest she was relatively surprised that it wasn’t more of an occurrence, she was, after all, a tiny girl alone in the middle of the night. She doubted it was HYDRA considering how obvious the guy was, so she figured it wouldn’t be hard to handle. She led the man down an empty street and, when he finally tried grabbing her, she thoroughly kicked his ass. The man was big, strong and, admittedly, more than a little intimidating; compared to Barnes he was small fry. 

Toni made sure to put all of her martial arts training to good use as well as the battle experience from her previous life. The fight took less than a minute and ended with the man knocked unconscious on the sidewalk and a phone call to the police explaining the situation. As she dusted herself off and fixed her outfit she noticed movement from the corner of her eye. She couldn’t make out much, but she thought she saw a familiar redhead nod at her before disappearing back into the shadows. 

The next day Hawkeye left her another note: “Natasha says to leave the ass kicking to us or we’ll be out of employment soon enough.” Toni grinned. She knew that it was peobanly Barton who said that, but the note implied Black Widow was at least mildly impressed with her. She might not be sure whether or not she wants to try being friends with them again, but damn was it nice to be praised by a masterclass assassin and a trained agent. 

When the day finally came to try and sneak over to her safehouse, Tomi felt both extremely prepared and not at all. One screw up and Barnes’ only chance at freedom was jeopardized, no reason to be nervous. Before leaving her room, she took great care to look normal and calm, only leaving once she fully convinced herself that she was just going to another bar or party. 

She spent about an hour at a bar before changing her outfit in the bathroom and walking out to a different car she had JARVIS buy for her making sure to leave a paper trail confusing enough that it’d take a while to link to her but was, somehow, entirely legal. 

It took effort not to look at her surroundings in worry, but she thought she did alright. The drive itself wasn’t too long, but she made sure to drive around aimlessly a bit just in case. After what felt like forever, she reached her destination. 

“Oh sweet Curie, I’m finally here.” She sucked in a deep breath, centering herself and calming her nerves. “JARVIS, won’t you be a dear and let Barnes I’m coming in?” She parked her car, and walked quietly towards the safehouse’s entrance. 

Alright, show time. 

Chapter 5

Summary:

Barnes, the chapter.

Notes:

Hello there. Its been a while.
How have you been?
Sorry for not updating, I had major burnout. But hope this chapter was worth the wait!
As much as I originally loved writing for this story; it's been hard to sit down and write something. Work has been consuming my life, and I've a lot of activities outside of that too and things have just been so hectic.
I'm not giving up on this fic though, it might take like a decade but it will be completed. I'd say we're like, halfway through? Next chapter I'm finally going to start incorporating our favorite trickster alien and eventually, time skip!
Let me know your thoughts!

Chapter Text

The house was empty. 

Barnes wasn’t here… or at the very least that’s what he wanted her to think. JARVIS would have notified her if he had decided to leave. So, instead of freaking out or reacting in any way she shrugged and went to where the kitchen was according to the floor plans. If Barnes was going to sneak around for whatever reason then she was going to the coffee. Seeing the ancient looking coffee machine, she cringed in disgust. It was one of those weird metal ones that you had to perform some sort of voodoo magic to set up and use.

Oh, the things she would do for a cup of coffee. 

“The ground coffee is in the middle cupboard,” JARVIS spoke up, “though I would advise against caffeine so late at night. May I remind you of your 9am Computer Science II course?” 

“Yeah, like I’m going to get any decent sleep tonight.” She snorted. “If anything, I’ll sleep after classes are done. It’s not like I haven’t already finished most of the course homework anyways.”

She hummed some inconsequential song as she waited for the coffee to get done and opened up a notebook she brought along (ew paper). She started jotting down notes, ideas and designs for a better mechanical arm as well as some notes on BARF. Honestly, she already had a blueprint of what she was doing formulated in her head, but she figured Barnes would be more at ease if she conveniently kept forgetting her super duper secret notebook with all the info in it at the safehouse whenever she went back to the dorms. Even if he saw through her ruse, she was sure he would rather know what he was getting into should he choose to follow her medically unlicensed plan.

Oh yay, coffee was done. “You want a cup while it’s warm, Barnes?” She asked the room, already grabbing a second, pink colored mug. She felt something cold around her neck as she placed both cups down. “Oh! Finally decided to show yourself huh?” She said chipperly as though there wasn’t a trained assassin holding a knife to her incredibly exposed neck. 

“You’re not HYDRA.” His voice was rough and raspy, as though he hasn’t used it in a while. 

“Sugar? How much?” She asked instead, grabbing the coffee pot and ignoring how the knife went a little closer to her throat; a kind warning to not do anything funny. Really, Toni just wanted coffee. “I’ll take that as a no. Suit yourself.” She shrugged, grabbing the sugar cube pot that was, thankfully, close to her. 

She hummed as she mixed in the sweet, sweet cube into her coffee and poured a second cup for the man behind her. “Listen up buttercup,” she slowly turned around with both the coffee mugs in hand, “we both know that if you wanted me dead you’d have killed me already. I barely reach your shoulders and your glare alone could snap me in half. So how's about you drop the knife, grab this cup of coffee before I decide to be selfish and join me on the couch I know I had shipped here four months ago for a nice conversation?” Toni paused, taking a look at the knife before grinning mischievously. “Or you can keep the knife. Personally it’s not my kink, but I’m open minded enough to try it out.” She winked, earning an even deeper murderous glare. She laughed openly, unafraid of the assassin in front of her. 

If she was being honest, she wasn’t so sure why she wasn’t more afraid of him. Sure, she knew the trigger words to contain him, but if she wasn’t fast enough then she’d die; plus, she didn’t want to use them. Free will was something she deeply cherished, especially after having been under the influence of the red witch. Barnes was a different person when he had gotten his freedom back in her past life, he was courteous and timid. Rogers got the title of soldier out of time, but it was Barnes who truly seemed out of time. Toni never blamed him then, and she wanted to help him now. 

With a kind smile, she tapped the knife still on her neck with Barnes’ mug gently and gestured for him to grab it. He didn’t move, not an inch. Instead, his sharp gaze studied her as though she was a specimen he was dissecting. Toni weathered his gaze patiently, occasionally taking small sips of her coffee. After a few quiet seconds, the blade disappeared as quickly as it had appeared and Barnes took the mug from her. 

True to her word, she went to where she knew the couch was and sat down. “You’re right, by the way.” She started, taking a moment to sip her coffee. She then locked her eyes with Barnes. “I’m not HYDRA. You’re rather quick to catch on.”

To his credit, Barnes also found somewhere to sit on the couch. He didn’t drink the beverage offered, but Toni figured he probably wouldn’t; it could be poisoned after all. He shouldn’t trust her right off the bad, and she’s glad he doesn’t. “You don’t monitor me.” He supplied, not needing any other words to explain his logic. She motioned for him to give back his cup, and took a sip of the bitter coffee once he did. He watched her every movement like a hawk, but when she next offered the cup he didn’t have any reservations about drinking from it. 

“Yeah, I want to help you but, if you choose to leave then that’s your choice. Just don’t get caught again.” She shrugged easily enough. “I’m sure you know I’m not SHIELD either, though dad is affiliated with them.” He answered with a nod, not taking his eyes off of her for a moment. If it wasn’t for the glare, she would’ve been flattered. “If I had to guess, you stuck around because right now this is the safest place for you, under my protection. No one knows you are here, and so far there haven’t been any missions. That being said, I pose a threat since I know the triggers. It’s been a while since they’ve been used, so you have enough agency to leave and go into hiding elsewhere. Instead, you chose to stay and see what I want from you.”

There was no response, but Toni didn’t need one. Even if she was wrong, this was an opportunity to gain some of his trust. 

“My goal is to make you a free man, undo what has been done to you.” She looked into his eyes, trying to portray as much sincerity as she could. “You almost killed my parents. How many other kids will you leave orphaned if I don’t step in?” 

There wasn’t much of a conversation after that. Toni didn’t want to make a speech or influence the man’s choice, and Barnes wasn’t a man of many words to begin with. Instead, Toni continued to drink her coffee and write things down in her notebook. She merrily ignored Barnes studying her and continued her task up until JARVIS spoke up hours later. 

“Sir, it seems as though your absence has been noted, I have taken the liberty to start driving your car around town. I would suggest you return immediately, before you’re ‘busted.’” 

“Boo. I guess I should head out before my babysitters get a conniption.” And, just like that, her first night with Barnes came to an end. As intended, she made sure to leave the notebook behind as she left the building. 

The next time she saw him was three days later. The house still looked empty, so Toni did the same thing as before. She went to the coffee machine, and made two cups like last time. No knife on her throat this time had to count as a win. “Sugar.” She heard a gruff voice from somewhere in the living room and couldn’t help the smile on her face.

“How much?” 

“Same as yours.” Barnes sounded a bit distracted. “One spoon.”

“One spoon it is!” She cheerfully complied, and brought the two cups to where she heard him. He was sitting on the couch scrutinizing the notebook, how much he understood from it she wasn’t sure. “So, what do you think?”

“It looks futuristic.” He shut the book, setting it down on the table. He had probably combed over it enough times to memorize at least half of its contents. “We don’t live in the future.” 

“Yeah, it sucks. I can’t wait till we finally get there again.” She groaned, handing a visibly confused Barnes his cup after taking a sip of it first. “Don’t worry, technology should get pretty advanced by the next two decades. In the meanwhile, though, I can build that in my sleep. Your new arm too, if you want it.”

“Why?” 

“That hunk of junk HYDRA made is clunky as fuck and I don’t like it.” Toni cringed just looking at it. “I can do so much better than that if you’ll let me and please, for the love of al-Jazari, please let me.” 

“And BARF?” Toni grinned. 

“Like I said, I can do it. You have a version of the serum in you,” Toni kicked her feet onto the coffee table and relaxed on the seat, “meaning your brain should start healing itself from the programming they did to it. BARF should help speed that up, as well as help with unresolved trauma… which I’m sure you have a lot of.” She sighed, now remembering just what it was this man went through. “I won’t say I’m sorry, since I wasn’t even born when you were taken and it probably would mean nothing to you… but you survived. You survived and you’re free so your future is your own.” 

Barnes didn’t really say anything -not that Toni blamed him, she wasn’t the greatest at pep talks. The rest of the day was spent with Toni explaining what she was going to do and answering any questions Barnes had for her with bouts of silence in between. She had to hand it to him, the man was intelligent. He couldn’t keep up with her, nobody really could, but he was quick on the uptake. He was also very methodical, everything he brought up served some sort of purpose and he’d keep asking question after question until satisfied. It was almost a nice conversation, if only he hadn’t been glaring at her the entire time. Well, glaring might be the wrong word, perhaps staring with such intensity it left Toni a little on edge. Yeah, that felt like it fit a little better, Toni thought. 

The next time she visited, five days after that, she had brought some stuff with her. It was some tools she bought to set up shop in one of the empty rooms in the house and also enough parts to start working her magic. Of course the first thing she did was dump them on the kitchen table and head towards the coffee machine. Barnes was fast to inspect everything she brought in, whether it was for safety purposes or curiosity she didn’t really know… and to be honest she didn’t think it mattered either way. Toni was there to do a job, and she wouldn’t let herself get too attached like she tended to in her previous life. Harder said than done, though, since she already really felt for the guy considering so far he’s had it rough.

 

“Hey, do you remember what the war was like?” She wondered aloud, grabbing the pink monstrosity she single handedly decided was Barnes’ personal mug and poured some coffee for him. She was curious what he remembered and what he thought about it, having experienced a war of her own in her past life. If he did remember, then maybe she ought to get him a therapist or maybe make him one. She definitely needed one after all the shit she went through. 

Though, did it really count as her experience? As time went past her memories of Tony felt less like something she lived through and more like a book she mostly remembers the plot of. She remembers all the emotions she felt, some stronger than others, but for the most part it didn’t feel like they were really hers. Was she dissociating? Was it a result of reincarnation? Would she eventually forget everything? She already had JARVIS keep a hidden record of her memories, so she wasn’t too afraid of forgetting key things as she knew he’d be there to help her out, but it would be nice not to forget. But then, would she really want to remember everything? All the things she went through?

She frowned looking at the brown liquid in the two cups. “Forget I asked that.” She waved her hand, deciding this was a stupid thing to ask and she could think about Tony’s memories at a later date when there wasn’t a super soldier assassin observing her every action. Toni could feel his gaze on her even now.

“I don’t.” She heard his rough voice from right behind her and saw an arm -the fleshy one- move past her towards the pink cup with coffee and sugar on it. Oh, he also acknowledges pink horror as his designated cup. Cute. “Does it matter?” She turned, trying not to bump into the man behind her as he took a sip from his cup… Does that mean he trusted her not to poison him? More likely he realized Toni could not be fucked with resorting to poisons and would consider it blasphemous to ruin even a single cup of coffee, but she decided to pretend he had some level of trust towards her anyways.

“Not unless you think it does.” She shrugged, taking a sip of her own cup. “So, I’m almost done setting up the workspace, but I need some help with the heavier shit. Mind helping out with those big super soldier muscles of yours?” Barnes grunted, but Toni learned that was winter soldier for ‘yeah sure’ so she simply smiled and moved towards the couch.

The next few times she came to visit were pretty tame. She couldn’t really build anything outside of the house, both because she had two spies keeping an eye on her at all points in time aside from when she snuck out to Barnes’ place, and also because she wanted Barnes to see the process from beginning to end. She figured he’d trust BARF a little more if he got to see it being made and, considering the occasional question he’d have, she wasn’t far off. Toni felt like Barnes was starting to trust her more and more, or at the very least trust that she wasn’t there to bring him any harm. He still kept a watchful eye on her whenever she was around, but he no longer glared at her like he wanted to kill her.

There were moments where she’d do something that would put him on edge and those were never fun. Once, she was holding onto a torch to weld some parts together and gesturing with it -she had a tendency to talk with her hands at times- and Barnes nearly broke her wrist. He muttered a gruff sorry when he realized she wasn’t trying to burn him and she demanded he write a list of things that would elicit that reaction again. It was very touch and go, but Toni was nothing if not determined and stubborn.

Then there were times where she was having a shit day. Those times, Barnes would normally give her space, which was rather nice of him. If it were up to her she’d hole up in her dorm and just sleep on those days, but time was of the essence and the sooner she got Barnes’ situation figured out the sooner she could focus on other matters. She was also getting tired of having to sneak out and evade her babysitters. She was also just getting tired in general. Between attending classes, working on school projects (namely DUM-E), spending time with Rhodey, working with Barnes and monitoring everything to make sure her parents and other loved ones were still safe, she was only getting a few hours of sleep every night. 

She dealt with it just fine though, as she always did; but today? Today sucked major ass. Her swollen cheek hurt and she wasted far too much time dealing with the disciplinary committee, and it wasn’t even her fault this time. Mostly. She might’ve escalated things a bit but Tiberious had it coming and no one could tell her otherwise. Her knuckles still stung, but that particular ache gave her a sadistic pleasure since it reminded her of what it felt like to hit that bastard in the face. Repeatedly. She was almost certain she broke his stupid nose and she was half tempted to go find him and make sure it was broken after all.

Still, Barnes was waiting for her and she didn’t want to fuck up whatever rappart she had with him by standing him up, so she snuck out with JARVIS’ help yet again. When she got there, Toni took a deep breath and steeled herself before opening the front door. Today, she decided she’d go in, do what was scheduled for that day, and fuck right on off. Barnes usually kept an eye on her while she worked and, unless he had a question, he’d probably leave her alone like he does when she’s having bad days.

Except he didn’t really leave her alone, at all. She had come in, announced her presence with a quick “hey Snowflake” and made her way to the coffee machine to make two cups as is now a custom of hers. She closed her eyes, letting herself enjoy the aroma of coffee and ignore the aches on her body. Toni meant to grab her cup and go to her workroom, leaving Barnes’ cup on the table for him, but before she could do anything she felt a calloused hand grab her chin and move her head. The hand was rough, rugged and strong, but the gesture was surprisingly gentle; had she wanted to move away there would be nothing keeping her tethered. 

“Who did this?” Barnes’ voice was clipped, spoken with an ice cold tone that sent shivers down Toni’s spine. 

“Hey to you too.” She grumbled, decidedly ignoring the daggers the man’s gaze was sending her way. You’d think Toni’s face had personally insulted him or something with how angry he seemed.

“Who did this?” He repeated, harsher. Toni felt more tired somehow.

“Some jackass.” She responded just as cooly. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.” Wrong thing to say, apparently, considering his grip hardened ever so slightly. She could still get out, but something told her she shouldn’t. Barnes’ cold demeanor wasn’t meant for her so she didn’t really feel threatened and there was a chance that ignoring his concern might hurt their acquaintanceship, which would make working with him a pain in the ass. With all that in mind, logically it made sense to just go with the flow for now and see where it goes. “Tiberius Stone, a real nobody who thinks I owe him my precious time.”

Barnes nodded, moving his hand from her chin to her wrist. With his other hand, he grabbed the cup of coffee from her and set it back on the countertop. He then led her to the couch and had her sit down while he inspected her wound. It probably looked worse than it felt, a big nasty bruise with a cut in the middle from where Tiberius’ ring made impact. He disappeared for a moment, and Toni decided not to get back up for her abandoned coffee. She was far more interested in leaning against the couch and letting her body rest for a moment.

He came back with a med kit, stocked to the brim with whatever Toni could think of would help him in any worst case scenario. She half expected him to loot the place and fuck off before she’d ever get a chance to talk to him all those weeks ago and she was trying to give him the best chance she could. Seeing him open that kit up for her felt odd somehow; a weird warmth that proved someone trusted her enough to stay.

“What happened?” He was sitting on the coffee table, gently moving her face closer to him so he could start whatever it was he wanted to do. Toni didn’t think she needed stitches, and she doubted it would leave a scar; hell, even if it did scar she wouldn’t really care either way. Still, if Barnes wanted to play nurse Toni didn’t see the harm in letting him.

“Tiberius’ dad and my dad are competitors, somehow that put the thought in his head that he and I would end up together. He’s invited me to a couple of things, and every time I’ve made it hell for him but he doesn’t know when to give up. Today was no different, except he was being more of a shit than usual.” Toni eyed the rubbing alcohol already knowing that it’s going to sting. “He gave his usual insults about me only getting anywhere ‘cause of my daddy’s money or how I’m riding my friend’s dick like some common who-OW” She flinched back as Barnes put a cotton full of alcohol against her cut, and it didn’t help that he applied it with a little bit more force than necessary. “Son of a bitch that hurts.” Toni hissed.

“Sorry.” Barnes muttered, easing some of the pressure. Toni nodded, forgiving him easily, but when she didn’t say anything Barnes asked “and then?” Though it felt more like an order than a request. Once he was done sanitizing her cheek, he moved on to the cuts on her knuckles.

“I said something along the lines of him needing to apologize to the trees for wasting the oxygen they give with his room temperature IQ. I also said he needed to find some redeeming quality, ‘cause not only was he dumber than a turd but he was about as pretty as one too.” She closed her tired eyes, recounting the memory of what happened just a few hours before. “That was when he hit me.” And then she gave a feral smile. “‘Course I gave so much more than I got. When I see him again I’m going to give him shit about how he’s so weak that a girl half his size managed to send him to the hospital.”

Tiberius would have had to stay at the hospital for longer too, if only Barton hadn’t shown up and pulled her away from the guy. She wished he had let her get a few more hits in, after all, Tiberius had been harassing her relentlessly for the better part of two years now. He was a fucking twenty one year old adult lusting over and borderline stalking a seventeen year old girl, he deserved every punch she gave. Even Rhodey wanted to fucking kill the guy after a while, but Toni didn’t want him getting involved until it got too bad… which now that she thought about it, it probably just did.

Oh, he was going to murder her when he found out.

“It’s clean.” Barnes had a small grin on his face, though it disappeared just as quick as it showed. “Next time, make sure he stays down.” He reached for some bandages, and then frowned as he remembered something. “Aren’t you a super soldier?” Now why the fuck did he think that?

Toni just realized that she might’ve fucked up.

“I’m not…” She started slowly. “I made a temporary serum to catch you, but that’s been out of my system for a long time now.” Was this why he was so cautious of her? Did he think she was as deadly as he was? Well, she could be, but for that she’d need a suit. Did he trust her because he thought she was a super who managed to escape the life of an agent?

“I could’ve killed you.” He basically glared at her. “You don’t have a healing factor. Do you have a death wish?” Okay, now she was just confused. Was he angry because she’s not as strong as him? Did he want her to kick his ass?

“No death wish, no sense of self preservation either.” She shrugged. “It’s not like I’m made of porcelain.”

“Might as well be.” He finished bandaging her cheek and hands and packed up the supplies. “You should rest.” 

“I have shit to do.” Toni immediately fired back.

“Do it later.” He really left no room for arguing, didn’t he? He got up and went back deeper into the safehouse, likely to put the medkit away. This time, Toni had no reservations against getting up to finally collect her coffee. She managed to take a sip of the now lukewarm beverage before Barnes plucked it from her hands. “Sleep. You look like shit.”

“Thanks, you look pretty handsome yourself.” She grumbled, but let him guide her back to the couch. He’d even brought a blanket and pillow for her. Thoughtful of him. 

“I’ll keep watch.” Toni decided not to mention how JARVIS was already keeping watch anyways. Barnes likely wasn’t going to let her go to work and she knew JARVIS would likely assist him in keeping her from doing anything productive tonight. She might as well have stayed in her stupid dorm room and not snuck out… though admittedly coming here was nicer than she thought it’d be. Barnes seemed nicer today.

So she gave in and laid on the couch, closing her heavy eyes as the weight of the day, of the past few weeks really, began to pull her down to a deep slumber. After a while, she heard Barnes’ voice murmur something. “You trust too easily, Kukolka.”

“Not a doll.” She complained. “Not little either.” Toni thought she heard a deep chuckle, but she was too out of it to differentiate between what was real and what wasn’t.

She slept well, for once. She was almost annoyed when JARVIS woke her up at the time she’d normally be returning to the dorms. 

Barnes, true to his word, kept vigil over her. He’d been sharpening his knives while she slept, it made a sound that had lulled her to sleep. Nothing was more soothing than the song made by a metal being worked on. He sent her off with some food he had apparently made while she was dead to the world.

She let JARVIS drive her home as she was far too tired to focus on the road and trusted that he wouldn’t let her crash. Of course, the moment she got back to the dorms, she almost wished she had just stayed over at Barnes’ place.

How did the saying go again? Something along the lines of hell hath no fury like a Rhodey scorned. She knew the moment their eyes locked that she had doomed herself to the mother henning of the century.

“Where have you been?” Rhodey asked, practically dragging her to her room. He looked awful.

“The club.” She lied easily enough.

“You weren’t there. Your car sure was, but you weren’t.” There was an edge to his voice, and Toni’s heart felt heavy with guilt. “Are you okay?”

“I’m alright, Rhodey.” He didn’t look like he believed her. “I promise you, I’m ok.” 

“Talk to me Tones, where were you?” She hated when he sounded so sincere like that because what was she supposed to do? Lie to him? She wasn’t a monster.

“Do you want some coffee? It’s a long story.”

“It’s 1am…” When Toni didn’t say anything, Rhodey sighed. “I’ll get the kettle going for some tea.” Toni tried not to grimace, really. She didn’t hate tea, it just wasn’t coffee. It also reminded her of one Stephen Strange and his annoying posh magic that was just advanced science… Tony just never had the time to properly figure it out before he died.

When they were situated on her living room couch, tea in hand and blanked on shoulders, Toni started talking. She knew Rhodey, he could keep it a secret so long as it didn’t break his moral code, and keeping a government wanted assassin hidden away from society while practicing unlicensed medicine on him was definitely against his code. Toni hadn’t built up as strong of a rapport with Rhodey as she did in her past life either, so he wouldn’t trust her implicitly like he once used to. Maybe he’d keep it a secret, but he’d demand to see Barnes and she doubted the guy was ready for meeting with literally anyone but her quite yet.

That being said, she really didn’t want to lie to her best friend of two lifetimes. Rhodey would forgive her from withholding information, but he’d feel betrayed if she lied. So she left out Barnes, but she told him about the home invasion being a hit from some secret organization and the real reason behind being assigned bodyguards. She mentioned a secret project she had to work on without anyone knowing, which was why she was sneaking around to avoid suspicions. Rhodey just listened to her, asking a question here or there and inquiring about her safety, but he understood. 

“Thanks for being honest.” He was frowning the way he did when he was trying to work through a complicated problem. “And Tiberius?”

“I sent him to the hospital, so he should leave me alone.” Toni didn’t feel too worried about him. Ty was a horrible stain on humanity, but she knew better this time around so she wouldn’t be fooled by him and she was strong enough to defend herself against him. She also had an assassin and a marksman as bodyguards so she really wasn’t too worried about him.

“Wait, you did that to him?” Rhodey looked equal parts horrified and impressed.

“I broke his nose. It’s not that bad.” Toni felt a bit defensive, if she was being honest. Maybe she was desensitized to violence considering her past life as a hero constantly fighting shit, but a broken nose isn’t that big an issue is it? It happens literally every other bar fight.

“Toni, his arm is broken...” that’s still not the worst “... in three different places.” OK, that was a bit bad. 

“Well, that sucks for him.” She didn’t feel that sympathetic towards Ty; in fact she’d like to personally thank whoever was at fault. 

“Yeah, but what sucks more is I didn’t get any hits in.” Rhodey grumbled, causing Toni to snort. She doubted he’d actually get physical, especially with his future career being in the line, but she appreciated the sentiment.

Rhodey left soon after that, but not before insisting she kept him more in the loop for things and also that she stay closer to him while in the campus in case Ty went for revenge.

The following weeks went a little easier, visits with Barnes were more productive as the man began to trust her more and more. He even volunteered to help as a second set of hands and was pretty decent at following directions, which sped up construction and testing of BARF. They were now at the phase where he was starting to use the device, always with Toni supervising and little by little. School was easier too, with DUM-E being nearly finished and Ty avoiding her like the plague. She found out it was Romanoff who was responsible for his ugly green cast and subdued behavior and apparently Barton helped a little too. She still wasn’t sleeping much, but definitely more than before thanks to Barnes and Rhodey unintentionally tag teaming on her.

Of course, the moment things start looking up, something happens. She was at Barnes’ safe house, drinking coffee and setting up BARF for a session when JARVIS hit her with some very unfortunate news about a certain set of spies circling the safehouse. “They have signal jammers, sir. I have lost track of them.” That was fine, she knew Barton was likely going to the top of some random tree to have a vantage point, though the windows were bulletproof so Toni wasn’t too concerned. Romanoff, though, was most likely trying to break in.

“Barnes, you need to leave; there should be a hidden passage here somewhere. JARVIS?” Toni immediately started packing BARF and anything else she thought her favorite assassin super soldier would need. Med kit, Swiss Army Knife, BARF in a box, some rations and anything else she could think of that was close enough. Romanoff would probably be on them soon so time was of the essence.

“The hidden passage is hidden under a rug in an unoccupied guest room.” JARVIS supplied.

“And you?” It was sweet that Barnes was worried about her, but she was probably fine. What were Romanoff and Barton going to do once they found her alone in a safehouse? Lock her up for rebelling? As long as they didn’t find out about Barnes, everything should be fine.

“I’ll maybe get grounded, no big deal.” She was already thinking of what she could do to buy some time for Barnes.

“Actually, you’ll likely be imprisoned for harboring a dangerous criminal, malyshka.” A sickly sweet voice said from behind them. Barnes was already facing her, positioned to attack. She might’ve underestimated Romanoff’s abilities by just a tad. “Step away from the target.”

Natasha Romanoff was technically still her bodyguard, so her number one priority was to ensure Toni’s safety. OK, Toni could work with that. She grabbed the Swiss knife that she had just put in a duffle bag, opened it up and placed the blade against her own throat. Both assassins stiffened. “Oh no, would you look at that? It would seem I’m a hostage.” Toni quickly placed herself in front of Barnes. “Looks like you’ll have to let him go.”

Romanoff didn’t say anything, and she didn’t lower her gun either. She probably thought Toni was bluffing, so Toni did what any sensible lunatic would do and applied pressure, drawing a thin line of blood. Romanoff glared at her, but slowly lowered her weapon. Great, now all she had to do was convince Romanoff to let her former brainwashed coworker leave before she did the thing where she somehow managed to knock Toni on her ass and take control of the situation again.

Toni did not account for Barnes disarming her and pulling her behind him. “Natalia.” He greeted her as if this wasn’t the worst possible situation for them to be in.

“James.” She nodded back, drawing her weapon back up now that Toni wasn’t in immediate danger from herself.

“Toni.” Toni said sardonically. “Now that greetings are out of the way… Barnes I know you know how hostage situations work; so, with all due respect, what the fuck?”

“You’re not a hostage.” He answered pleasantly enough, like he was telling her the sky was blue or grass is green and not at all like he was being held at gunpoint by his former… student? That sounds right.

“Well not anymore!” She grumbled, throwing her hands up. “Hey, Natasha, any way I can convince you I’m still a hostage that you should try bargaining for?”

“No.” Toni groaned at her answer. Why was nothing going her way? “But, you can start telling me about how we got here.” 

“You stalked me and broke into my house?” 

“Try again.” 

Toni sighed wondering what flavor of bullshit she’d spew out this time. “I figured out dad was working with a secret organization, SHIELD, so I hacked it. I found out some interesting things and some other things including something called HYDRA. So I hacked them too. I found out they had plans to take out my dad and steal some serums, so I intervened. I managed to, uh, what’s the right word here? Brainwash seems kind of rude and I sure as hell didn’t overpower you.” She looked at Barnes.

“She knew my triggers and used them to kidnap me.” The soldier provided easily enough.

“Yeah, I kidnapped him.” Toni said a bit too proudly. “And since then I’ve been working on undoing those triggers so he stops going murder hobo for, quite frankly, a really poorly secured company.”

“You should have brought him to SHIELD.” Romanoff didn’t mention anything about Toni hacking her company, nor anything about the serums. She wanted to know why exactly Toni decided to keep the soldier hidden away from the world. Toni scoffed.

“SHIELD’s a poorly secured company too.” She thought for a moment. “Tell you what, if you promise not to report this, I’ll give you a list of HYDRA sleeper agents.” Romanoff glared at her again, but lowered her weapon. 

“What makes you think I believe a word that’s coming out of your mouth?”

“Oh please, you’re the super spy that’s good at infiltration and lies. I’m a businesswoman, or, I will be one.” Toni crossed her arms. “If anything, I should be the one concerned whether you’ll hold up your end of the deal.” Romanoff’s glare harshened, but Toni didn’t falter. It did help that Barnes moved himself to cover Toni better, which, why was he doing that?

“I’m not going to SHIELD.” Barnes spoke up. “And we both know who would win between the two of us.”

“Look, I just want to help him turn over a new leaf.” Toni sighed. “I know I can do it, but if we involve SHIELD we’d just be giving him over to someone else who would try and take advantage of him.” Romanoff’s stance softened.

“Fine. But no more leaving in secret. Clint and I are to accompany you, and I want a full list of HYDRA operatives.” Okay, she could deal with two nosy agents so long as they didn’t report her; and having them dealing with HYDRA this early on was also a plus. 

“Barnes?” She asked, wanting to make sure his opinions were also taken into account.

“As long as they aren’t in the way, I don’t care.”

“You’ve changed.” Romanoff noted, holstering her weapon.

“Freedom does that to a person.” Barnes also stowed away the knife.

“You should get that bandaged.” The redhead gestured towards Toni’s neck. “I’m going to get Clint.”

Well, that was one crisis averted. 

The moment Romanoff left, Toni walked over to the couch and just collapsed. She didn’t realize how stressed she was. “Are you alright?” She heard Barnes ask right beside her; looking at him, she noticed he already had a roll of bandages ready.

“Peachy keen.” She took a deep breath, and positioned herself so Barnes would have a better angle. “Just glad it somehow worked out and you’re not on the run again.”

“Again?” Oh, right. That didn’t happen this time around.

“Forget I said that. I must be tired.” Toni decided to quickly change the subject. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” His eyes were eyeing her wound. “Why did you do this?”

“Seemed like the easiest way to get her to lower her weapon. It worked, too.” Toni explained. “You taking the knife from me also probably helped convince her to listen to our case.” 

“Don’t do it again.” Barnes looked at her intently. “Do you trust her?”

“Of course not.” Toni smiled bitterly. “But as long as there’s something for her to gain from the situation, I don’t think she’ll say anything.” Toni knew Romanoff saw SHIELD as the home that took her in after all the bullshit HYDRA put her through, so she’d be very invested in killing off any HYDRA snakes. 

The way things were going, Barnes would need about a year to get over the programming HYDRA did to him. Toni would be stupid busy, but now she was able to freely come to the safehouse, so things should speed up a bit more. A year should also be enough for Romanoff and Barton to hunt down HYDRA agents. And, in a year, she’d be graduating too.

After that?

She still has some things to figure out, like how to stop Loki’s invasion and later on Thanos. She had to deal with reviving Captain America, and make Iron Man again. Obie was still an issue, and so was Vanko.

She’d get there eventually, but for now, Toni had a long year ahead of her.

Chapter 6

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Ok, so hear her out. It’s not that Toni enjoys being in the middle of the woods on a brisk winter night with a fleece hoodie as her main, frankly pathetic, source of heat; it’s just that shit happens sometimes. She’s also not really talking to herself -this time- but instead praying! Not that she’s any amount of religious, but she figured might as fucking well. 

It’s a habit that started a while ago; shortly after her and Barnes’ little secret was discovered by Romanoff and Barton. She was thinking a lot about the future, and about everything that she could maybe prevent from happening. She’s already been collecting dirt on dear uncle Obie, and soon enough he’d be getting a visit from the FBI and her dad would likely be the one calling them. Howard would never let Obie’s bullshit harm SI’s image, Toni was sure of that, dear friend or no.

For Vanko, and also Pym and other scientists and employees Howard’s S-tier personality and morals has fucked over, Toni would pretty much do her damned best to make sure they weren’t actually fucked over or at the very least be well compensated. Her dad listened to her a lot more this lifetime, so surely he’d be willing to play nice if she asked and kept asking. 

With Killian all she realistically had to do was not be an ass.

Then there were slightly uncontrollable things like the Avengers, HYDRA, Loki and Thanos. Something in her core told her Thanos wouldn’t be an issue this time around, call it a gut instinct or whatever, but she wouldn’t be stupid enough not to plan thoroughly against him or any threat that would be like him. There wasn’t much else she could really do aside from be better prepared for Thanos, but for everything else? Yeah, she kept thinking about it.

HYDRA was like a cockroach that just would not die no matter how much bug killer you’d spray it with. Eradicating sleeper agents from SHIELD early on would definitely help in making them less of a threat, but they were unpredictable, dangerous and really damned good at hiding. This would have to be a touch and go situation where the moment she’s able to, she’d have to infiltrate them with as much of her tech as possible. She’d also have to do the same with SHIELD, of course.

The Avengers was… bittersweet to think about. She had good, fond memories of the early days when they got together for shawarma or pizza or whatever, on Tony’s dime and insistence of course. Then Ultron happened, shortly followed by the Accords and then Thanos, with a lot of bullshit in between. It was a flawed concept from the start, built upon the need for strong, superpowered individuals to protect against threats the world was wholly unprepared for. They were never really a team; hell, they were never really friends either. Tony sure as shit wasn’t perfect but he deserved better.

Toni wouldn’t join the Avengers initiative if it happened this time around. Invasion or no, she’d stay a solo player and SHIELD would be unable to convince her otherwise.

Which now brought her to Loki, the asshole who essentially kickstarted the whole damn thing… though, from what Thor once drunkenly told Tony, it wasn’t done entirely willingly. It was after the failed attempt to stop Thanos and before his final fight when Thor came crashing into Tony's home, desperate for the companionship of a shield brother kind enough to lend an ear. Thor recounted his brother’s final act of bravery, attempting to kill Thanos knowing he wouldn’t survive but doing so anyway to save his brother. He told stories of when Loki was but a child, always smart but always picked on. How stupid Thor was for never seeing value in his brother before it was too late, before the betrayal of finding out the truth of Loki’s heritage came and drove his brother to desperation and finally madness as he fell to the void where he was eventually tortured into becoming a disposable pawn.

Afterwards Tony combed through footage from the invasion and, sure enough, Loki’s poison green eyes were a terrifying icey blue.

Toni felt for the guy. Sure, he was kind of an ass and also made many bad decisions, but so was Tony and he got a second chance. Toni was intimately familiar with the need to prove herself worthy, and also of the feeling of being deemed a fuckup by a shitty dad who thinks he’s better than everyone. Don’t get her wrong, the Howard of this lifetime was leagues better than the last one, but she still remembered many nights where Tony was left wondering if he was even loved by his father or if he was just a mistake and a bad son. Toni wondered if there was anything she could do to help the guy out and maybe, just maybe, prevent him from losing his shit and genocide an ice planet with frost giants.

This brings us back to praying. It started with her trying to get Heimdell’s attention. She’d call out “hey Heimdell, I know you’re watching, could I maybe have an audience with prince Loki?” Of course, nothing ever happened. She tried many different approaches, hell she even tried contacting him with old Norse and sweet, sweet Chomsky is old Norse a bitch to learn and pronounce. Eventually though, she decided “okay, fuck you Heimdell” and started trying to talk directly to Loki himself.

Obviously, that didn’t work either. As far as she was aware, only Heimdell could really pay attention outside the realm of Asgard, but she was getting tired of trying to just talk to the night sky in an empty McDonald’s parking lot at four in the morning and expect an answer of some sort. She started just saying dumb shit because A. why the fuck not? And B. what if it did work after all? 

Once, when Tiberius’s posse thought they could intimidate her into apologizing to the bag of dicks that was Tiberius she found herself looking to the sky and hoping that was the general direction of Asgard and thinking: “dearest Loki, I pray to thee with all my heart to pretty please with the biggest, reddest cherry on top to help me not bash my skull on that concrete wall because holy shit I’m surrounded by idiots.”  She ended up threatening them with hospital visits and something about making their life hell if they didn’t leave her the fuck alone.

Another time, she ran out of coffee and solemnly thought “Loki, if you really are a god, I beg of you to materialize coffee for me. I don’t think I’m going to survive Milligan’s lecture today without it.” Thankfully, Rhodey was kind enough to buy her some before class and she survived the day long enough to buy more coffee on her way home. She also bought Rhodey a thank you cake with flowers and a card, because she knows how to properly thank someone who saved her life.

Then there were times where she was just bored and didn’t want to think too hard. “Loki, oh great prince of Asgard, who do you think would win in a fight? One billion lions or one of every Pokemon?” “Dear Loki, why aren’t blueberries blue? Why aren’t they called purpleberries?” “Loki, do you think if I tweak the code a little here, Dum-E will stop trying to run me over? Seriously, I did not have this problem last time. What the fuck Dum-E???” 

This imaginary Loki that she’d ‘pray’ to suddenly became an entity she could just talk to whenever she didn’t have Rhodey or Barnes to just speak at. Anytime she thought to herself, she started thinking to Loki, too. It was an innocent enough habit that just seemed silly and fun; and right now, she really needed something to ground her so she somehow fell back into this dumb habit.

“Hey, Loki, what should I do?” Toni whispered to herself, forcing her eyes to look beyond the darkness for hidden shapes. Her hands trembled, either from the cold or her nerves, as she gripped her weapon tightly. “What the fuck do I do?” She repeated, forcing herself to move forward deeper into the unknown.

Just a few hours ago she was at the library, doing some stupid equations for a stupid assignment she forgot about and throwing little paper balls at Rhodey whenever she got bored. She got a little hungry, so she stepped outside to go grab something from the vending machine since food wasn’t really allowed in the library when she essentially got jumped by a group of men. Romanoff was out that day looking into the whole ongoing sleeper agent situation so it was just Barton guarding her, but what could he do when the group came in fast with a car and grabbed her before she could run. She felt stupid for not paying attention to her surroundings, and weak when she tried fighting them off but got overpowered and eventually knocked out with a chloroform rag.

When she came to, she was tied to a chair in what looked to be a supply room judging by the piles of random shit just haphazardly placed everywhere. She noticed a few things that could prove useful: some sleeping bags, rope, gasoline and other items of the camping sort. The walls looked like wooden logs piled on top of the other, so she was likely in a cabin of sorts though she was more than willing to bet she’s in a hunter’s cabin. There was a clock in here somewhere, she could hear the ticking but she couldn’t see it. It didn’t take long before her assailants noticed she was awake. Right now she counted three men, though she remembered there being at least four in the car and she couldn’t be certain there weren’t more just because she hasn’t seen them yet.

“Okay, so what the fuck do you want?” She spoke up, ignoring the fear she felt and faked her confidence with a classic Stark smirk. “Is this a ransom situation? Or is it a “fuck the rich” kind of thing? What am I working with here?”

“Shut up.” One of the three hissed. It was the stout one, sitting down reloading his gun. Ooo, so intimidating! Fucker. The tall one, trying to and failing at organizing one of the shelves full of shit rolled his eyes but kept his head down.

Then there was the one leaning by the door, the more muscular one. He was looking at her, though she couldn’t really see much considering all of them were wearing hoodies and masks. “We were paid big money to kidnap you girl, but they never specified if they needed you intact. So I suggest you keep quiet before my friend over there loses his patience.” 

Girl. He said girl. These bozos have no fucking clue who she is, do they? Every time Tony got kidnapped they called him Stark, likely because that last name is just way too cool not to use. Much more likely because they think knowing Tony’s name and using it was some sort of power play to instill fear. The tall one looked like he was nervous, maybe he was new to this business? He kept fiddling with the shit he was supposed to organize and kept looking back at his companions. Stout and muscle-man looked in their element though, so she would have a hard time tricking them. 

Her legs were tightly tied to the wooden legs of the chair, and her wrists were tied behind the seat back. She was gonna have bruises after this and, man, that’s going to be a fun thing to explain to mother hen Rhodey and later on apparent mother hen Barnes. Aside from that though, there wasn’t much keeping her there. No cuffs or chains or any of that high end kidnapper shit, so she’d have an easier time unbinding herself. The room had a small window to the outside and, for once, Toni was thankful of her short stature because if she held her breath she was sure she could squeeze herself through it.

“Okay, I tried keeping quiet but this is boring. Hey tall guy!” She called out to the nervous one. “What’s your favorite animal? I like wolves.” 

“Uh… I like cats?” He was so confused it was almost cute. Almost. It didn’t take long before the stout one got up and put a hand on her face, forcing her to look at him.. 

“I told you to shut up.” This close she could see his eyes through the holes on the mask. He had dark brown eyes and a mean glare. She smirked. 

“Yeah but I’m seventeen and allergic to authority.” She sing-songed, easily riling him up. It was a risky gamble, what she was doing, but hopefully it paid off. Stout scoffed at her before slapping her hard on the face, same side as stupid Tiberius did. What was up with people slapping her left cheek? Righty would like some love too. 

They expected her to cry, or to finally shut up, but Toni lived to defy expectations so she just cackled instead. She tasted blood, but she still smiled and just looked at the guy who hit her. “Oh man you really do have a shit temper.” 

He growled at her and raised his fist, but before he could do anything else the muscular one by the door stopped him. “Enough, Jackson. Go get some air and cool your head.” 

Jackson cursed and glared hard at her one more time, probably wishing her death or something, before turning towards the door and leaving. Briefly, she saw there was another room, with a table and what looked to be more men -were they playing poker? It was hard to tell much more because the door closed as quickly as it opened. Muscles walked over to her, though she kept smiling viciously at him. 

“I don’t know whether to call you brave, or stupid.” He was in front of her now and fuck his breath smelled vile. 

“Maybe a bit of both.” She hummed, leaning back onto the chair because she could not breathe. “So cats, huh?” 

“I told you to keep quiet.” Muscles hissed. He didn’t touch her though, so she figured his threat about her not needing to be intact was bullshit. 

“Oh come on, we’re all bored here. It’s not like talking about a domestic animal’s gonna somehow miraculously rescue me.” There was a beat of silence before muscles sighed and shook his head. 

“Fine.” Thankfully, the guy backed off and went back to the door. “Talk, but know if you do anything, and I mean anything, you’ll regret it.” 

The fuck could she do all tied up on this chair? Whatever. She looked at the tall guy again who now seemed even more nervous, eyeing both the apparent boss and the victim like he wasn’t sure who to listen to. “What kind of cats?” She asked.

“Tabbies.” Tall guy answered, he came into view a little bit better and Toni hummed, pretending to be interested.

“You have one?”

“Yeah, her name’s Minty.” She could practically see the smile behind the mask, the guy really liked his cat.

“Is she a rescue?” Toni noticed the guy had a pistol on him. So, if even the new guy had a gun, then they were all likely armed. Whoever kidnapped her has no idea of who the fuck she is, but also is a bit more well prepared than an average schmuck. Were they some sort of gang? They had to have been hired by someone, since they had no clue who she was. Mercenaries then? 

“Yeah actually! I found her just a town over at-”

“Dillon.” Muscles' voice was sharp, cutting off his teammate before he could give any clues to their whereabouts. Still, it was good to know they were at least somewhat close to a town, so now how far was the question.

Toni let a few seconds of silence pass so Dillon could regain control over his nerves before she continued on with the conversation. “I don’t have any pets myself but I’ve a friend, Obadiah, who has a dog.” She looked at their body language closely, but there wasn’t much of a reaction to the name drop.

Okay, so they likely weren’t hired by that psychopath. Who else?

“What… What's the dog's name?” Dillon was a bit more cautious after being chastised, but that’s alright, she’d lower his guard if needed.

“Hydra. He’s not the best dog, a bit too aggressive, still cute though.” Still no reaction. It made sense, though. HYDRA tended to be more in your face about shit like this and didn’t shy away from mocking their kidnapped victims for getting caught in their scheme. Classic super villain shit, really. HYDRA also didn’t really go around hiring thugs to do their dirty work for them, so it was a long shot.

Then who the fuck ordered her to be kidnapped?

“I don’t like aggressive dogs. Billy,” Dillon looked to the door, “has one. That mutt barks at everyone except for him and Andrew.” 

“Ah, that’s unfortunate.” Toni shook her head, but kept the information she was getting in mind. There were now four names that she knew: Dillon, Billy, Andrew and Jackson. They could easily be fake names, but at least she was a little closer to figuring out just how many people had her here. A thought then struck her and she spoke before she could think. “Obidiah’s friend Tiberius really gets along with his dog too.” 

The first thought that came to mind when it comes to the subject of kidnapping is Afghanistan and that damned cave. Even if Obie was suspicious of Toni he didn’t know how much she knew, but he would still be her first suspect. HYDRA was a close second due to her dad’s work and also who she had hidden away in a safehouse. Tiberius was insane and was more than willing to go to extremes to get to Tony in her last life, but she avoided him enough she thought he wouldn’t be as inclined. Seeing Dillon flinch like a kid who got caught raiding the cookie jar was enough to prove her wrong. 

She’s going to fucking murder him when she gets back. 

Muscles probably noticed what it was that she was doing considering he promptly put a stop to it once and for all. “Dillon, get your ass out of this room.” Dillon jumped and was quick to scurry out. “I’m tired of listening to your voice, girl.” He likely said that to try and convince Toni that was the reason why he forced Dillon out of the room and not because he was loose lipped. 

“Pity, I quite like my voice.” She grinned, leaning back against her chair. 

“Well, you can talk to yourself then. Enjoy it while it lasts, because when I get the order to kill I’ll be sure to have my fill of fun first.” He paused, likely trying to see if Toni was affected by his threat at all. “Maybe I’ll even let the boys have their turn too.” He was gone after that. 

Toni took a moment to just breathe when he left, she heard a click on the door so it’s very likely locked. Good, it’ll take just a little more time for them to open it if they decide to check on her. She knew Barton had seen her get caught and was very likely either already here and waiting for backup or still tracking her and close. It didn’t matter though, her name was Toni goddamn Stark and not princess Peach and she’s stuck in a cabin and not a castle. She wasn’t going to wait around for some saviour to come. 

Toni’s bindings on her wrists were tight, too tight for her to slip through. She couldn’t make any noise or the men would probably come back in and she’d lose her chance so no trying to break the chair. Okay, that left one kinda painful option. Toni took a deep breath and steeled herself as she grabbed her left thumb and, after a moment of psyching herself up, dislocated it. 

Son of a bitch that shit hurts, but it did the trick. It was much easier slipping through the rope, and she relocated her thumb after so no big deal there. She was fine. Tears absolutely weren’t threatening to fall and she definitely didn’t have to bite her lip to stop herself from screaming. She also didn’t need to take several quick breaths to calm herself, but that’s neither here nor there. 

She looked around the room and smiled, how she loved it when she was left unsupervised in a room full of goodies. The first thing she did was look at the clock, though all it did was make her heart sink. It was eight forty five, around six hours since she was taken. How far from home was she? Was she even in the same state anymore? Well, she was willing to bet she was in the middle of the woods anyhow so getting home was going to be complicated no matter what. She wondered if she should try to get the car, maybe hotwire it or see if they left the keys near it; but it was too risky, the chances of being caught were too great. 

But what if she minimized that risk somehow? She could try driving them out to the forest and then circle back to try and get the vehicle. It could work, if not then she could figure it out from there. 

Plan made, she focused on her next tasks. She grabbed some of the survival gear; some rope, one of the bedrolls, a tinderbox, a hunting knife, an empty canteen and a pack to put it all in. Toni then set her eyes on the gasoline tanks. They were luckily full, though not for long. 

Toni couldn’t help but smile as she poured all of the gasoline around the room. She could simply light a match and start a fire, but that wasn’t enough to fuel both her creative and destructive drives.  

She didn’t just want them to burn; she wanted them to explode. 

So, she got to work. The gasoline needs a bit of time to turn into vapor, and once that’s done it’d be too risky for her to ignite it herself. She eyed the rope in her pack.

Yeah, that’ll do.

She dunked the rope in the gasoline, letting it soak up the volatile fluid. Once that task was done, she  dragged the chair she was tied to towards the window, it was too high up for her to reach. Toni then quickly but carefully opened up the window to the room, making sure to pay attention to anyone who could be out. It was dark, which was both good and bad. They won’t be able to see her, but she can’t see them either. 

The window was open, and no one was in sight. So far so good. She pushed her newly acquired shit through and then forced herself to squeeze through. It was a tight fit and took a minute longer than she’d have liked, especially having to carry the now heavy rope with her, but soon she was running to the treeline unraveling the rope as she went.

Once in the treeline, she quickly circled the cabin, noting with disdain that there wasn’t really a car there. Fine, she could figure out a way home herself. She returned to where she left the rope and grabbed her tinderbox and lit it up. She immediately ran the moment the rope lit up to put as much distance to the house as she could. The house, thankfully, was surrounded by dirt and gravel, and she was careful not to bring the rope too close to any trees or fallen leaves, so hopefully she’d avoid a forest fire.

She ran deeper and deeper into the woods and kept running even as she heard the sound of a loud explosion behind her. If Toni smiled viciously at the sound, she’d never tell. Those jackasses had it coming anyway.  Hopefully the explosion would serve not only as a distraction, but also as a ‘hey birdbrain I’m over here’ message. If she was lucky, it’d be big enough to kill or severely injure the men who kidnapped her.

Toni wished she had a map or a compass or anything that would help her, but at the very least she had her wits and a strong enough body that should be able to withstand an impromptu camping getaway. She had no food and no water, but the human body could go without food for a month or two and water for three days… though that’s if she sits still and does nothing. Unfortunately, that’s not much of an option, so maybe a day and some hours then? She had that long to either find water or a town. 

She must have been running for a good fifteen minutes now, and she could feel her adrenalin wear off and exhaustion settle in. Toni made the decision to slow her pace down, maybe even stop. She didn’t really need to lose herself in the forest, just get far enough away they wouldn’t be able to find her. Ideally, she’d find a road or maybe a river or something and use that to eventually find some sort of town or, hell, she’d even settle for a village. She looked back behind her and briefly wondered if she’d even be able to retrace her steps if it weren’t for the beacon of flames she created. 

Okay, deep breaths here. What she needed was to work on her plans a little better. If she did a 180 and returned to the cabin then she could follow along the dirt road… but it’d be a bad idea considering the cabin didn’t have a car. Whoever left would certainly come back, and that wasn’t really quite worth the risk. 

So, what then?

Staying close enough to the cabin waiting for cops or, more ideally, Barton would probably be the smartest thing she could do but she had no real information. How far into the woods was she? How likely would fire and rescue come? Would they even come? Would the cops even come? What if Barton was nowhere close? According to Dillon there were towns nearby, but how “nearby” was “nearby”?

Fuck how she missed having the suit or even just JARVIS.

Well, on the bright side, at least she has a higher chance of survival in the forest than Tony did in the desert. Not to mention she wasn’t starving to death or dehydrated or sporting shrapnel in her chest. 

She looked towards the impromptu bonfire off in the distance, watching it as though it’d give her the answers to the universe. Toni stared for what could have been maybe just under a minute but what felt like too long, and then she turned her back to it and started walking. She was at an incline right now and so was the cabin, so maybe if she started her way down she would eventually find a road or a path. If she was less lucky but still lucky enough, maybe she’d find a stream or river. 

Toni wasn’t really quite sure how long she’d been hiking down the slope of what she thought was a mountain, but the cold already started getting to her. It was still early spring and,  while the days were getting warmer, the nights stayed relatively cold. She had a hoodie on and some jeans, neither of which really did much against the chilly wind that accosted her. She had on sneakers that were definitely not made for hiking rough terrain like this, so her feet were aching too. Overall, it was a pretty shit experience.

She was getting pretty tired pretty fast, truth be told. The adrenalin has long since left her system and the lack of sleep she normally got was fine when she had coffee and the urge to complete a task to keep her going. So, when she saw a tree with an oddly concave trunk and roots that looked like they were made for sitting on, she caved and rested a little. She took off her pack, enjoying how nice it felt not having that weight on her back anymore, and placed it by the tree. She then huddled against the trunk and tried to keep herself as small as possible to conserve what little heat she had and maybe warm herself up somehow. 

Toni only wanted a small break, maybe a few minutes to regain some energy to power through the rest of this trek. She didn’t want to fall asleep, but she was tired; so she occupied her mind with the first thing she thought of: Loki. 

“Hey, Loki, I’m feeling a tad bit cold right now, any way you could use your godly powers to warm me up?” Toni frowned, realizing how silly she was being. “Actually, could you use them to bring me home?” Yeah, that was a much smarter request. Toni sighed and rested her head on her knees and closed her eyes briefly. “I’ll also take coffee or something to eat. Is that too demanding? I’m sure you’re a kind and benevolent enough god to indulge me, right Prince Loki?” Toni smiled softly, finding humor at the thought of a kind and benevolent Loki. Sure, Thor insisted Loki was a good person when he really wanted to be, but Tony’s only experience with the alien god was him choking Tony, throwing him out of his own window and then leading an invasion. Loki might’ve been mind controlled during the whole ordeal, but there wasn’t any other data to go with so Toni would use the faulty data she had.

Still, wouldn’t it be wonderful if the Asgardian appeared from out of nowhere and held out his hand for her and just whisked her away from this fucked up situation she found herself in? Toni snorted. Yeah, and then they could hop on a horse and ride off to the sunset. “Get real Toni, the only person who can save you is yourself. That’s how it’s always been.” She muttered darkly to herself. 

With a groan, she forced herself up. Toni debated setting up camp here, she did have a sleeping bag after all, but she didn’t feel safe. It was too open, too easily spotted here and she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from searching for figures in the dark. “Hey Loki, if you could lead me somewhere safe, that’d be nice too.” She sighed, adjusted the pack on her back and continued her journey through the woods.

She didn’t go far before she heard some howling. “Shit.” She hissed. Toni figured there was some wildlife here that might make her getaway more dangerous; she was pretty sure there were bears, snakes and other predators. Wait, weren’t wolves hunted to the point they weren’t around in the East Coast anymore somewhere in the 1800s?  

Must be a lone wolf that wandered too far from its pack or something.

The howling was a bit too close for comfort though, so Toni quickened her pace a little. She had the hunting knife as a weapon but, really, it was kind of a shitty weapon against dangerous wildlife. So she sped up and hoped the wolf wasn’t too interested in her. She hated how she felt she was being watched.

Some time passed and Toni made it further down the mountain, to a creak. She was quick to stash the water into her canteen, but wasn’t fool or desperate enough to drink it without boiling it first. She’d like to survive this ordeal, thank you very much. So, she kept on going and ignored the aching thirst that had her licking her lips for moisture. 

More time passed before she found a suitable spot to camp for the night. It’d be generous to call it a cave, but Toni was desperate enough for rest that it was good enough for her. She took out her sleeping bag and put down her bag, once more enjoying not having that weight on her. Should she build a fire? Was she far enough away that, even if those guys who kidnapped her and were potentially pursuing her saw it, she’d be fine? Would she be able to withstand the cold without it?

Her fingers already felt numb, and she had been shivering for the better part of her trek down. The sleeping bag would give some insulation, but it wouldn’t be enough. If she got sick now, she’d be as good as dead. With very little enthusiasm, she walked around her impromptu campsite and collected as many dry branches as she could find and began the task of building the fire and using her tinderbox to light it. She hurriedly placed her canteen on the fire. It’d be better if she had a pot or kettle, but the canteen was made of metal so it should do the trick.

She watched as the water inside started to simmer and then boil, and took it out. Toni closed the lid and placed it against the rock wall. She was beyond thirsty but she was far more tired, and so she slipped into her sleeping bag and closed her heavy eyes. She kept the knife close to her, hoping she wouldn’t have to use it. “Oh Prince Loki, I pray to thee to please keep me safe at night.” Yeah, that did nothing to calm her nerves but it was still nice to pretend she wasn’t alone. “Well, goodnight.” She mumbled, finally letting herself succumb to sleep. 

Morning came too quick, and with it came hunger. She felt awful and, honestly, she probably looked it too. Her head was throbbing, but it was manageable. With a groan, Toni forced herself into a sitting position and looked at her surroundings. Her bag was where she left it and the campfire had long since died and turned to ashes, but there seemed to be something just by it. 

Were those… blueberries? 

A slow movement up ahead caught her attention and Toni froze once she saw it: a black wolf with the greenest eyes Toni has ever seen sat just a few mere yards in front of her, looking right at her with its tail flicking around languidly. Toni ignored the fear that crept through her and watched the wolf that watched her. They were both at a standstill, just observing each other without moving from their spots. 

Wolves were known to sometimes care for lost infants of other species, adopting them into their pack as though the creature was a wolf. The thing is, despite still being pretty young, Toni wasn’t young enough to be considered an infant. The wolf didn’t look like it was trying to attack her, just observe. Was it bored? Maybe it was domesticated by another human and then set off into the wild? That would somewhat explain its behavior, but it didn’t really add up.

Toni was too thirsty, hungry and overall feeling like a hot pile of shit to really use her brain to any real capacity, so it came as no surprise when she just spouted whatever came to mind without any filter. “Good Morning mr. Wolf, if you’re not here to maul me to death could you please stop looking at me like I’m a piece of candy. Otherwise, I’d like to let you know I’m a bit too muscular and skinny to have any real merit in eating… you’d probably be left disappointed in yourself for your lack of taste in meal choice.”

The wolf kept looking at her, but Toni swears there was a hint of mirth in those eyes. After a moment, and without much warning, the wolf stood up and left. Once it was gone, Toni remembered the hunger and thirst she was feeling. She slowly got up, noting with much distaste how sore she felt, and grabbed the cool canteen. She wanted to gulp down the water, drink her heart’s fill and more, but she knew she had limited resources so she only drank what she thought was necessary to keep her body in good enough condition to keep going. The blueberries were a nice little treat she wasted no time in eating.

Should she have been concerned about them being poisoned? Maybe. They could have been left by the people who kidnapped her, but that was very unlikely considering their actions so far. It could have been left behind by some animal, maybe a squirrel or bird, that dropped it by accident. Toni somehow doubted the validity of that option as well. The wolf could have been the one that left it for her. Why did Toni believe that option the most?

Regardless, she somehow knew the blueberries were safe to eat. It wasn’t enough for her to feel full, it was hardly enough for her to not feel uncomfortable with her hunger, but it would do. She debated rationing out the berries as well, but there was such a little supply she saw no merit in it. So, Toni ate all of the berries and drank a little water and considered it a decent enough breakfast for someone in her position.

Toni quickly reassembled her pack, stowed her canteen away and continued on her way with her knife in hand once more. She continued on down the mountain for hours until, finally, she found a road. “Fucking finally.” She breathed out, but she didn’t dare cross beyond the forest’s threshold. On one end, roads tended to eventually lead to some sort of civilization. If it was a town? Perfect, she’d find the police station and immediately report her kidnapping and hopefully be able to call her parents to send someone to pick her up. If it was a highway? That was fine, she was sure someone would stop for her and, while she wouldn’t get in the car with them, she could ask for them to contact the police once they have access to a landline. 

On the other end, she wasn’t sure if her kidnappers were still on the prowl. This could be the road they used to get to the cabin and they could be making the rounds to see if she’d be on it. Sometimes, she really hated being such a goddamn paranoid bastard.

Okay, fine. No directly using the road, but she could use it as a guideline back to humanity, walking close enough to see it but far enough to hide if there was a vehicle. With a deep breath, she continued onwards. Every so often, she would see a thing of blueberries lying around and hear a howl in the distance. At first she was a bit wary, not really knowing why these berries were mysteriously appearing before her, but she wasn’t stupid enough to deny herself free food. Eventually she came to accept it as a part of the weird reality that was her life. After all, super soldiers and alien gods existed, why couldn’t magically appearing berries exist too?

Part of her thought she might’ve been hallucinating them, but she didn’t want to think about that possibility right now.

Toni wasn’t sure what time it was, but the warmth of the sun started to disappear as dusk started taking over. She might’ve appreciated the beauty of it, the sun merging disappearing into the trees as crickets began to chirp, but she was too busy hiding behind a tree trunk with her hand clamped firmly against her mouth as she willed herself to breathe as quietly as possible. 

At some point in time, she heard a noise that sounded like radio chatter far too close for comfort. She immediately ducked behind a tree and tried to make herself as invisible as possible, but she could hear footsteps coming closer and closer. 

“I know you’re here girlie.” This sounded like the voice of the stout guy from before, the one with anger issues. Considering the loud sound of his gait and the constant radio chatter, Toni doubted any of the kidnappers knew where in the mountains she was. The idiot just got lucky.

Toni Stark’s lack of good fortune must be a universal constant at this point because somehow the bastard spotted her after all. Maybe she was breathing too loud, maybe something of hers poked out from behind the tree, or maybe hiding behind a tree was a stupid idea to begin with; either way, the guy pointed a goddamn hunting rifle at her and she could see a faint trace of a grin on his balaclava. 

“Fine,” she huffed, “you caught me.” She could feel her heart beating fast in her rib cage as it pumped adrenalin into her veins. She was a bit scared, if she was being quite honest, but she trusted herself to get out of this somehow.

“Still have the energy to keep talking huh?” The guy spat at her. “Some real work you did back at the cabin, can’t say the boss is pleased.” He twitched the finger on the trigger, a clear threat not to do anything too crazy.

Too bad Toni didn’t know how to listen.

“Yeah, I’ve always been good at making a mess.” She agreed easily enough.

“Drop the knife, kid.” The guy nodded his head towards the aforementioned weapon, and Toni ruefully did as he said. 

“Should I get rid of the pack too?” She snarked, rolling her eyes and trying to sound like a teenage brat who didn’t believe in consequences. 

The guy came closer to her, gun pointed right at her head. “Speak again, kid. I fucking dare you.” Toni elected to just stare at him, not necessarily disobeying his orders but also not really submitting to them either. He huffed at her and did a once-over. “Get rid of the pack.” 

Perfect. Toni slowly, carefully took it off and, with both hands, started putting it on the ground. The man watched her carefully, but even he didn’t expect Toni to suddenly use the pack as an improvised weapon and swing it at him. 

The force was either strong enough or surprising enough to make the man lose balance and fall. She had hoped she’d be able to grab his gun, but the guy was getting up too fast for her to move and his grip was too strong for her to yank it from him, so Toni instead kicked the gun away from him with as much strength as she could muster and grabbed her knife.

She could run, but that’d be stupid. He’d just have time to tell whoever was on the radio where she was and likely catch her again. No, if she wanted to escape she needed to fight him here and now while he was unarmed and surprised. She lunged at him, sticking her knife in his leg and dodging a punch he threw her way. She managed to keep dodging his hits, and she was slicing at him all the while. None of the cuts (aside from the one on his leg) were really all that deep, so it was a battle of attrition for the most part. What would give out first: his endurance or her stamina?

The man was strong, but she was fast and he wasn’t trained in martial arts like she was, she could tell. That, however, was her only advantage. Though the fight started in her favor, it didn’t take too long before he managed to get a good swing on her and knocked her down. The hunting knife slid too far from her grasp and Toni panicked as she felt a heavy weight on her and big hands circle around her throat, tightening with the full strength of a man who was properly pissed off. 

She couldn’t breathe. 

Toni tried clawing at him, fighting him as panic started clouding her judgement and vision. She then tried finding her knife or just anything that could help her in this situation. There! She spotted a rock big enough that if she swung it at him it might get him off her. She stretched her arm trying desperately to reach it. She could feel her finger barely touching the rock but her vision was darkening fast and the tight hands on her throat kept her from moving too much. 

Was this how she died?

Suddenly, a familiar howl was heard in the background, close enough to both startle the man and inspire Toni. The man loosened his grip slightly from the surprise and Toni immediately used that leeway to grab the rock and, with all the power she could muster, hit her assailant in the face with it. The man stumbled off her and she coughed as fresh air finally made its way into her lungs again. She forced herself to move, standing up as quickly as she could, and looked at her assailant. He was on the ground with a hand cradling his now bleeding head. 

Toni was breathing heavily but she forced herself to keep going as she got on top of him and quickly hit him with the rock again, over and over until he finally stopped moving. She wasn’t sure if she killed him, but she refused to check; she could have that particular panic attack after she was home safe. For now, her survival was the only thing she cared about. 

The man was wearing a pretty nice, warm coat, so Toni took it. Stripping it off a limp body was difficult, and Toni continued to refuse to even think about the morality of what she was doing. The coat smelled of cigarettes and sweat, but it was better than spending another night wandering around in the cold, freezing and miserable. She patted the man’s leg pockets, found his wallet and pocketed it. The coat itself had a few pockets with some shit in it: the walkie talkie he was using, some extra ammo, a protein bar, a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

She tossed him the cigarette pack and went to find his gun and her knife. It took a minute to search in the darkness, but she found it. Finally, Toni grabbed her own pack and mentally prepared herself to keep going. 

When she looked up and saw the familiar black wolf sitting a few yards in front of her, she didn’t startle. “T-” Before she could talk she coughed again. Right, she was just strangled. It wasn’t much of a surprise that she had difficulty talking. She sighed, closed her eyes and clasped her hands together. If she was right then he’d understand her, if she was wrong then the only witness was the black wolf.

“Dear Prince Loki,” she prayed in her thoughts, “thank you for your help.” Small prayer done, she looked up to see the wolf tilting its head to the side. It wasn’t as far-fetched a conclusion as it would seem, after all Loki was known to be a shapeshifter in norse mythology; normal wolves try not to be separated from their pack and tend not to just randomly follow humans in duress and leave them blueberries of all things just because. The wolf eventually nodded, and Toni watched as it slowly transformed into a slightly younger looking Loki than she remembered.

“I’m quite impressed, mortal. I didn’t think you would catch on as quickly as you have.” He purred, moving closer to her in slow, deliberate steps.

“You didn’t exactly make it subtle.” She thought to him, wondering if she had to start each prayer with ‘Dear Prince Loki’. When Loki grinned she smiled back, knowing her answer. She had a stray thought, not directed towards him, just wondering if he could hear her thoughts overall or if she needed to think it to him for him to receive it. He didn’t respond to her arbitrary thoughts, either with words or by action. He could be faking it but she doubted that, this Loki wasn’t as scornful and distrustful as the one in Tony’s memories. He also looked far too curious about her not to respond to anything she thought.

“Come now, I shall keep you company for a while.” He flicked his hand and green energy poured out. The pack on her back suddenly felt lighter; in fact, all of her felt lighter. She was still on the ground and was able to keep moving, but she felt weightless. 

She still hated magic but even she had to admit it was rather convenient.

Notes:

Hello everyone!
As always, thank you for your patience as I take 50 years to upload. Thanks for all the comments, kudos and reads and overall support I'm having for this story. You're all incredibly lovely and I appreciate you <3
I'm honestly so happy with how this chapter ended up so hopefully it was worth the wait for y'all!
We finally get to see Loki in this story, and I'm excited for the next couple of scenes in the next chapter.
Let me know what you think!

As for busy life updates, the game is going well! A coworker just recently published a YT video about it and it ended up looking quite nice. I've started some personal projects of my own which have been a blast to work on when I'm not writing.
I've also debated actually writing a story of my own, with my own characters and such. Would y'all read it if I ever do?
I hope you have a wonderful rest of your weekend! See you next chapter!

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