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Chapter Text

In the darkness was a boy covered in blood. His blue eyes were wide open, terrified of that bloody corpse in front of him. It wasn't his fault. That man wanted to do something to him, and it alarmed him. And now, the man was dead. If he was sincere, he couldn't remember if that scream from before was his or not. After all, for shinobi, the first kill is the hardest, or so they say. For him, it was so easy. He just took that broken bottle that was beside him and stabbed the man with it. It was all it took him to kill a human. To take another's life was just too easy. Probably that was the problem now, the fact that he killed somebody, even in self-defence. He was just a boy, a child. It was his birthday today. He never received any presents, but now his gift was his first kill. To say he was scared was just an understatement. He was close to tears. But the tears never came out. His blue eyes were dry and unfocused. And then he ran, he jumped up from the ground and ran. His feet didn't have shoes on them, so they were scarred and red from the blood. Once he made it to the river, he jumped in it. The cold water seemed to wake him up from the stupor inside he was. With his crimson hands, he started to rub his skin. In just thirty minutes, he was clean and wet, his clothes soaked.

Probably because of the adrenaline that was pumping in his veins, but he could swear he heard someone approaching. Now, behind him was a man with black hair that had an emotionless face. His black eyes were staring into his soul. Contrary to what he believed about that man, he just stared at him. After a few minutes of tense silence, the man just gripped on him and dragged him somewhere. From there was black, probably the blond fainted.

~~~

When the blond opens his eyes again, he finds himself on a mattress, a very fluffy one. He jumped right out of bed, scared. And if that wasn't enough, a little boy was sitting in the same bed as him. The door opens, a woman entering that room, scaring him slightly, a fact that causes him to fall out of the bed. The lady seems to notice his fear and smiles slightly, crouching to his level. Her black eyes clash with his, and at that moment, he understood that he wasn't in a dangerous environment.

"Hello there, little guy. I'm Uchiha Mikoto, and you're at my house. My husband and I decided to adopt you, the Hokage already knows about this." said the woman, now known by the name of Uchiha Mikoto.

"I-I'm Uzumaki Nauto," he responded softly, scared of speaking too loudly.

He knew the lady. She was the wife of the clan head. He heard about them in the village, but he never saw them, and now he finds out they will be his parents. Honesty, he is so scared about this whole thing, because he isn't an idiot, he knows nothing will be for free in this world. But now he has seen that little boy with him in bed, and he knew it was Mikoto's child. And that was the beginning of his new family and adventures.

~~~

It was a hard time adapting, but now, after three years with the Uchiha family, he was a good shinobi. At six he went to the academy, at seven he graduated and became a genin, a few months later he became a chunin and little after that, probably after seven or eight months, he became an ANBU. He was the youngest there, and one of the middle one in terms of power. He found out things that don't go well with a child, but because of his position, he found out about Kurama and his parents. It wasn't an easy thing to befriend a demon made of hatred, but now he could say they were at least good friends. Naruto never used him, didn't hold him locked up, and even changed his mindscape to something pleasant for the fox.

He found that he loved his little brothers very much. Itachi was spoiled rotten by him. Sasuke was barely two years old, Itachi was six, and he was nine. He assumed the role of a big brother when he wasn't in missions with his ANBU team. Itachi was a prodigy, a genius, and he knew that his adoptive father wanted him to see the war. It was hard to convince him that a four-year-old can't handle that by promising Fugaku that he will be fighting in the Third Shinobi War himself. He just made it into a chunin and was sent to kill in war. It changed him so much that encounter, he had nightmares almost a year about the screams and the peoples he killed. But, at the same time, he realized he fought for his brother's safety.

But then all of this shattered. A nine-year-old, even in ANBU, doesn't have the power to resist the raw force of an experimented shinobi. But to him, it didn't matter at all. All he knew was that at home were his lights, and he needs to go home, even half-dead. Then, he found something that disgusted him, Fugaku was obsessed, with Itachi. He found him masturbating thinking about his six-year-old kid. Then he began to spend more time with him, always looking to touch him, but lucky for him, Itachi was still inexperienced, he didn't understand what his dad was doing. When Naruto questioned him about that, concerned about his little light, he was nearly killed by him. That was a moment he realized he was weak. How could he protect his suns if he was green? So he trained with all of his experienced comrades, but he also prevented all of that man's plans concerning his son.

Then, he was abused by him. That man raped him, a child, moaning Itachi's name as he defiled his body. It seems to be because he was always there. He could remember the pain, the pleading, and begging he was doing. He remembers the feeling of his thorn insides and the blood that ran down his thighs and the feeling of being unclean. No matter how much he showered and cleaned his body, he still felt dirty.

But then he realized something important: if he was the one that was raped in his place, then Itachi was protected. He cried, he screamed when he washed his body, but even then, when a part of his heart died, he still thought of his little brother. Sasuke was still too young, he couldn't understand things like Itachi, so he could hide it from them. His little light was at Academy and was the best. Naruto knew he would kill one day, or maybe enter ANBU, but he didn't want his little sun to see how much darkness is in people, or just in the world. And until the day Itachi and Sasuke would enter the real shinobi world, he would make sure to clean it as much as possible.

~~~

Every night, from five years ago, Naruto would sleep with Itachi in his arms, like he would protect him from the world and the bad. And now, as an eleven-year-old, he was an ANBU captain. And finally, after two years of abuse, he beat that monster and threatened him. He was sure Fugaku would ignore him and his warning, but he fought him and won, even in front of that cursed eyes of him. Itachi was now a chuunin and, Sasuke was an adorable four-year-old child who loved to play.

Itachi killed, after all, as an eight-year-old, he was already in ANBU. Naruto was his team captain. The innocent child he knew, was now a powerful shinobi. But with how things are never perfectly good, Itachi was sick. That was not the idea, the problem was that nobody could cure him. Naruto remembers sobbing over him and begging Kurama to help him, but the fox told him that he couldn't do anything about it.

The information was simple about the illness: every time he used the Sharingan, he would quickly go blind. His stamina and power were also affected by that. And so, Naruto, with Kurama's help started gathering clues and different medicines for Itachi and it was like this for a while. Then, Naruto thought of something and asked Kurama if he could transfer the illness, from Itachi to him.

Kurama was enraged because of this, but Naruto was desperate, and when he got the answer he needed, he was so happy he cried. Then, a new problem appeared: the problem was with the organs that were slowly decaying. He couldn't take the illness so simple, he needed to take the organs. In other means, it was a transplant. The problem was how to do it since he knew Itachi wouldn't agree to it. Even when he knew that Kurama would heal the organs if they were in him, he needed a doctor who could do the transplant. And just like this, he came back in secret with Tsunade to do it, even if he had to pay much of her debts.

At eleven, he survived that operation, and Itachi healed without scars and memories of the process. At eight, Itachi was cured, and without him knowing, the power in the organs was storing carefully, for future use, probably.

~~~

And just like that, he was sixteen, and numb. This is how he found himself again, even with someone he didn't even know.

Chapter Text

He did it again. He slept with Kakashi again, who knows for how long they did it before they finally stopped. He was sixteen now, in love with somebody else, but it hurt him every time he looked at the silver-headed man. He was sure his heart had numbed for a long while now, but he couldn't stop the pain in his heart.

Itachi is an ANBU captain for a year now, and two years ago he slept with Shisui, giving him his virginity. Naruto just let them have sex because he didn't want his little brother to have his first time on a seduction mission he would have had it in a few days. And if he thinks carefully, that was the moment his heartfelt that sharp pain in it, the hole in his chest, that emptiness that was eating him alive, but he just turned around.

Now, he was in love with a man who loved another. The relationship between Kakashi and Naruto was just sex. They were fuck buddies. Kakashi was in love with Iruka but didn't know if the man was gay or not, and didn't want to destroy their friendship over his feelings.

Even when they had sex, Kakashi whispered Iruka's name, and when he cummed in his body, he would shout his beloved's name. The pain Naruto felt every time numbed him more until he found out that he didn't feel it anymore. He knew it was beating but didn't feel it at all.

Naruto loved Kakashi, probably that was why he continued with the sex, even if it hurt every time his body felt pleasure. It was maddening, it was so pitiful, to know his mind didn't welcome the pleasure, that his heart was just breaking, again and again, every time they had sexual intercourse. Then, Kakashi just came and said he finally was with Iruka, and Naruto just congratulated them, even if he felt like crying.

Even with his feelings, he never told anyone how he felt, or how much hate he has for himself, how much he despises himself and his body. Kurama knew, he begged him to stop destroying himself for them, but Naruto couldn't, he knew that very well. It wasn't even that hard to stop, he could have done it anytime, but he didn't.

Naruto was numb, so numb he couldn't believe he felt something once. Kurama knew, but he could do nothing for the man that has been broken far too many times. Because he knew, Naruto loved Kakashi very much, he was even in love with him a little, but the true love of Naruto will always remain Itachi.

"Captain, the Hokage calls for us", said one of his subordinates, Cat.

He didn't respond to her, but nodded at her and shunshined at Hokage's office. There were already a few people besides the leader of the village. The council was there too and that meant Danzo was there, watching him and his team, like always. His subordinates were people he could trust, but they didn't know each other's faces or names, they were just Fox, the captain, Cat, Rat and Bear. They all just kneeled on one knee, Fox being the most closer to the leader's table.

"I'm sure you are wondering why I called you here, but it's not a bad thing. Fox, your brother, Weasel just refused an S rank mission.", explained the old man to the shocked ANBU members in front of him.

"Why?" asked Fox uncertain, he wasn't sure why Itachi would refuse a mission.

"He told us you made him promise he won't take any seduction mission that requires more than one night", he explains, and Fox just widened his eyes behind the mask he was wearing.

He remembered that it was one of the few things he made Itachi promise to him. He made him do it because he knows he doesn't like that type of missions and because he knows what that type of mission does to him, and Itachi is much more sensitive than him. A week or more of rape it's horrible, and he knows the best what it does to people.

"It's true Lord Hokage. I don't want my brother to get through something like that. He is a child, I don't approve of this type of missions for him and I'm happy he listened to me about it." spoke Fox with pride in his usually emotionless voice.

He was proud of his little brother dared to refuse a mission just because he promised his older brother. Something in his heart moved, and it hurt him because he knew what was he thinking about wouldn't happen, so, his heart numbed again in his chest.

"I'm aware that these are one of the most difficult mission one could get, but he isn't a child. He stopped being one the moment he became a ninja and an ANBU most specifically." Danzo spoked as he cared about his brother, but he knew he was lying, like all the other people in this room.

"I don't care about what you think, but I won't let you do this to my little brother. We talked about it, but I will repeat it for the nth time: I don't care about this village. I don't care about anything at all, but my brothers. If you think you can control my brothers then you will regret it. I remained in this shit hole you call Konoha because my little brother is happy here, has a life here and he loves the village. Sasuke takes after his brother, but he cares just about us and a few friends he has in the academy. I agreed to be in ANBU because I needed money to raise my brothers. If any of you tries to do something to them, I will kill everyone in the village, then kill you. Do you understand me?" he spoked cold and detached as if he didn't just threaten the most powerful members of the village with death.

Fox or Naruto was a very difficult man, with a very complicate character. He was strong and smart, a little genius if you could say. He could suffer through many things, but he has a bottom line very well established, his little brothers. He loves them to the Moon and back and he will do anything to make sure they are safe, that's one of the reasons he is still in ANBU. He wasn't always strong, but he always protected his little lights from the cruel world and its people. Sasuke was the one protected the most, but neither Itachi nor Sasuke saw their parents or elders firm the clan true face. And they will most likely never see it.

"You know for what you are talking can be put to death, right?" spoke Koharu, barely restraining her anger for how this little demon house spoke to them.

"As if you would allow that. All of us know that if you ever try to do something to me or my brothers we will disappear and you will die before you find us. Now, I can take the seduction mission, I don't particularly care about them, but don't offer them to my brother's team, it makes me angry", and with that, he snatched the scroll that was on the table and shunshined out of the office.

Chapter Text

Naruto stood at the gate with his team knowing that he has maximum two weeks with that organisation to get all the information he needs, but he also knew that he could see his brother just after the mission if he was in the village. He hated his weak demeanour, he could have taken his brother so long ago out of this hell hole, but they would've been unhappy, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Looking at his team he gave the instructions and off they were. They ran and jumped in trees until they were in a little village. In front of them was a big cassino, and if the information the papers contained were right the man he looked for was also there.

Giving his team a nod, all of them transformed in other people, him being the only one who just made his whiskers disappear, changed his hair and eyes colour and altered his face a little to appear more feminine. 
The operation began after that, he was sold to the man very quickly. It was probably because the transformation he made was just the man's type of guy he wanted to sleep with.

He was on his knees, a collar on his neck with a chain that was in the man's hand. He wasn't even ugly, he was very handsome in fact, but he was a paedophile, one that was well known. With a tug on his chain, he was on his fours. It made him get out of his head and pay attention to how he will play this good. But it seemed the man wanted a taste, so he ripped the booty shorts that he was wearing and with a sick grin on his face, he thrust inside his unprepared hole. It tore his insides, the man being a little bigger than he expected him to be, but all he could feel was numbness and pain.

"Do you like it whore?" asked the man who was inside of him right now, going rough on him as he slapped his butt at the same time, looking like he was enjoying himself.

"S-shut up!" he spoke acting and moaning in pain, even though he felt more pain with that man than with this one.

"Little slut, I will enjoy breaking you until you beg me to fuck you!" he spoke angrily as he continued his thrusting in him.

~~~

The man with white hair and green eyes was looking at the little bundle in purple clothes that was currently on the floor, on the fluffy carpet the blond bought for her.

"You walked and he wasn't here, don't you feel sad?" he asked the child as if he would understand.

"Dada, papa," responded the girl as if she knew who he was speaking about.

"Yeah, dada. He is on a mission from what I know, he will probably visit us after it," he told the child-like she was an adult.

She had the same yellow hair like him, and a pair of beautiful green eyes with a slit on them, like his. She was beautiful and sometimes he looked at her he could see him, even if he wasn't in love with him, he loved him. Somewhere, in the back of his mind he thanked his gentle words and the gentle care from then because if it wasn't for them, this beautiful soul wouldn't be here now.

"Andy, come to papa," he told her as she watched him from the carpet as she walked to him slowly, staggering a little.

"He will come to see us, he loves us after all," he told her as he took her in his arms, looking to the window.

~~~

In the apartment where the three brothers lived, Itachi and Shisui were wrapped against each other in the former's room. It wasn't really hard to guess what they had been doing, as they were both sweaty and tired, both panting a little bit.

"The Hokage called me today," Itachi said as he was looking at Shisui's black hair, that was wet with sweat and clinging to his forehead.

"Why?" asked the latter.

"I refused a mission. You know I don't do seduction missions if they are for more that one day," replied the boy as he told his boyfriend this for the first time.

"Why are you not taking them? These are the missions that are better paid," asked Shisui looking lost for a few seconds, as he lost himself in the black eyes that were on his.

"My big brother is not one to make me promise things, but there are a few things he made me promise, not many, a few. This is one of them. I promised this to him when I entered ANBU, and I told the Hokage that, so he wouldn't make me do it." explained the boy as he remembered the time he made the promise. It was strange, it was, after all, in ANBU things like this were common, but not to him.

"Really? And you listened to all your brother said? You never tried to rebel against him? I'm not saying it's wrong, I respect your brother deeply, but didn't you ever want to go on one of this missions to see what was like?" asked Shisui as he thought about the missions of this type he did. He didn't do many, but he still did a few.

"My big brother worked very hard to raise me and my little brother, and never once he told me how hard it was. I respect and look up to my big brother because of it. He worked very hard and we didn't once have to complain about something he did. With the money he had, he bought this apartment for us, he bought us equipment, food and clothes and he made sure we were taken care of. We had unspoken rules in this house, and neither I nor Sasuke walked over them. So, when he made me or my brother promise something, we made sure to keep it as best as we could." he talked very much about it, but it was true.

"Do what you want, but you need to step out of his rules sometimes. When you will be older you will understand some things can't be avoided at all," he told him as he smiled gently at him, but Itachi was lost in memories already.

There were unspoken rules in this house. They were always here, and Itachi just grew with them. When a big part of his clan was killed by someone he didn't even know, Naruto took them out of there as quickly as he could. He asked him why they couldn't stay with their family and friends. He asked why they couldn't help them rebuild the clan. He was just a child, a little child who although was a genius, didn't understand all about the adult world.

"You can't stay there with them. They are tainted and bad. They will cause you pain and you will not be able to walk away then. It's better to escape now before they put a collar on you and tug the leash." his brother's eyes were cold and numb like he knew something he didn't, but he never spoke about it, not even once.

Naruto bought an apartment for them. It had three bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen and a living room. It wasn't very big, but it was comfortable. Each one of them had their rooms, but sometimes they slept together in his big brother's room, hugged by him.

The unspoken rules were things they knew not to ask, not to seek explications for them, simple things you don't ask. At some, he wanted some explications, some reasons for their existence, but he never acted like that. He has seen his brother working for them, taking missions upon missions that are paid well to raise them, and because he was in ANBU he knew what were the most well paid off, the seduction and the assassination ones.

He saw his big brother retreating into himself, even though he probably didn't even know that Itachi was knowing. He saw how he would look at him and Sasuke and smile at how they play or at how they talked about their day and what they did, but Itachi could see the emptiness in his eyes, the pain that was contained in that body. He was probably screaming for help, he probably wanted to be held in warm arms and never let go, but he never once said anything, and Itachi knew he was breaking slowly.

They didn't talk about the time before the apartment, the time in their clan compound. They didn't talk about how Naruto never looked in mirrors or how he would sometimes be in the living room in the dead of the night, staring at the wall in front of him. They didn't ask about his missions. They didn't ask about why he made them promise to never do something, things he knew they would be required someday. They simply made these things seem normal, but they weren't. They really weren't.

He remembers a single time his brother cried, just a single time he saw his tears. He was home from a mission and was called to talk to his father. Itachi was just coming back from school when he looked through the keyhole to his big brother's room. He was excited because he was first in his class, but he heard little sobs through the door, so he looked.

His big brother was on the floor, naked, with a black blanket on his figure as he was looking in the mirror. He was sobbing and scratching his reflection as he shooked his head.

"Stop! Please stop! Stop looking at me! I don't want to see me! I don't want them to see me like this!" he was talking slowly, hiccuping from the sobs that rocked his body.

"I need to get up. I need to clean myself. I need to not let them see this." and with that, he disappeared into his bathroom, as his room was the single one with a bathroom attached.

Itachi was shocked, but he knew he couldn't ask, he knew he should not have looked through the keyhole. It was a secret he kept to himself because when his brother came out to talk to him, everything was back to normal, but he could see the smile was just a little too fake, just a touch too sad, just a bit too empty. 

He knew things weren't right, weren't how they were supposed to be, but he didn't know what to do, so he did what a child his age could in this situation, he tried to make him happy. He always went to him when he had time, he played with him, he learned from him, and it worked. He could see him smiling at him and appear to be happier than before, it was truly beautiful.

He woke up from his reverie and smiled at his boyfriend. Shisui was looking at him too, but he didn't speak, he let him wander into the memories of things that already happened.

"Are you with me now?" asked Shisui looking at Itachi that was blinking a little confused.

"Yes, I was just thinking about something my brother did and something he told me about, but I never really understood what he meant", responded him

"What he told you and when?" asked the boy a little confused by the serious face of his little boyfriend.

"It was my first day of school and he told me that I could be the first in my class, that I could be the best, but that I could never allow myself to have scores that were bigger than his. He was very serious about it then," Itachi told him, while he was confused himself about it, he didn't understand it even now.

"That's really strange", answered Shisui feeling confused as well.

Itachi could swear that he forgot something important about this.

Chapter Text

Naruto looked at the man that was fucking him a while ago. He was bleeding from the cut on his throat. He loved that red colour that was painting his white skin, even if he at the same time wished to never see it again. It hurt to see it, it made him feel good when he saw it, he didn't know anymore how he felt. It hurt. He was so numb. Why it hurt so much? Why he never stopped thinking about him? 

"Stop! Please stop!" he cried in pain as he was entered from behind, big hands pinning him down on the bed.

"Shut up already! You wanted this so shut the fuck up already! If you can't do even this much I will find my baby, he will surely be happy to help his daddy!" he shouted at the blond boy that was crying in pain.

"N-no! Leave him alone you sick person!" even if he was half unconscious, he still thought about his little brother that didn't deserve to be like this, under his father.

He smiled as he cut the head of this person and disappeared from there. He wanted to see his daughter and the girl's daddy. He missed them, even if he went there when he had time. Nobody knew about her, or his relationship with him. He was a traitor, a bad person, but he was one of the few who understood him and his pain. He was one of the few who knew the truth. Not the entire truth, that was known just by one person, him. He knew the pain he felt, he was there to hold him when he woke up from nightmares that were memories he wanted to forget. Even if they weren't in love with each other, they loved each other. 

He appeared in front of a door that was hidden under genjutsu. He put a mark on every single hideout of this person, he needed him to be easily found by him, after all, they had a daughter together. 

He went through the tunnels, the way to his room very familiar to him, it hurt somehow. He wanted to live here, to pretend he didn't have any family, he wasn't traumatised and he was fine on his own. To pretend he was a normal person who didn't sell his body for missions and money, who didn't kill other human beings because of an order that was given. He wanted to pretend he didn't have any memories that were so bad he simply couldn't face them, he really wanted to pretend his heart wasn't numb and that he could feel happy like any other human on this planet.

He was deep in thoughts when he reached his door. He couldn't feel anything on the other side of it, probably he once again upgraded the quality of the walls and the seals on them.

"You came," was the first thing the black-haired shinobi said to him as he watched the bundle in blue clothes scream in delight.

"Papa!" screamed the girl as she runs towards him, almost hitting the ground a few times in the process. 

"My baby learned to walk!" he smiled happily as he took her in his arms to kiss her fat cheeks. 

As soon as he found herself in her papa's arms, she started to blabber all the things she did when he wasn't there with them. Naruto looked at her happy. His daughter was the only thing in the world that seemed to make him happy as soon as he sees her. Orochimaru looked at them with a smile on his face, his eyes full of tenderness.

He was happy when he saw Naruto and Andy together. He knew Naruto needed him just like he needed him too. It was something they discovered together. Even if they couldn't fill the void in the other's heart they could make the other feel loved and wanted. Orochimaru was sure if they hadn't met each other they would be much worse than they were now.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't even realise that Andy was asleep and in her room already. 

"Lost in thoughts?" asked the blond as he sat down on the couch near him.

"Yeah, I was thinking about what we discussed last time we saw each other," was what Naruto was given as a response to his question.

"And what about it?" it was a really long conversation about what they did, about their feelings in some situations and about what they will do in the future.

"I think we need to tell each other how we feel right now, we need to communicate with each other better so we can help each other." it was a conclusion they both agreed, but while it was easy to agree to it, it was difficult for both of them to speak of feelings they were supposed to never feel.

"I feel better now. It was painful before, but now I can't feel anything." Naruto spoke first.

"Me too. I feel better too. I can feel love for my daughter now, it isn't just a void in my heart and I feel good about it. What about Itachi, Kakashi and the others?" asked Orochimaru after he gave his answer.

"Itachi is fine, I think he is trying to figure out the things, but I can't let him find out the truth. Kakashi is good with Iruka, we met in Konoha while I was shopping. The others are good too, especially him. I finally feel like I can fall out of love with Itachi, it was the time anyway." answered Naruto after thinking about the fact that now looking at his little brother was easier than before.

"Me too, I feel like Jiraya isn't as important to me as he was before. I have my daughter and I have you too. I can hold her and play with her without feeling nauseous and empty for long periods."

"I'm happy for you. You were in love with him since you were children, and that was almost four decades ago, you old man," laughed Naruto at the frown on the other's face for a while.

"I'm not old, I have a child and a young lover, so you could say I am a happy young man!" said Orochimaru indignantly at the fact that the other father made him old. He wasn't old!

"Yes, yes, you are not old, you are just aged up," Naruto said with a smile on his face.

~~~

While the two were joking with each other, Sasuke was caught into a dream from the past, it wasn't normal, he couldn't wake up.

He was in the body of a young baby, he knew it was his body because even if he was uncomfortable he could feel a little familiarity about it. He couldn't do anything, it was as if he was watching the first-person memory.

"Itachi, you can stay with Sasuke at Shisui's house for a few days. I won't be home and your parents will leave too. I will come for the two of you when we came back." it was Naruto's voice, a little tender but with the same emptiness in it, it was painful now to hear it from a young child.

"But..." Itachi wanted to protest, Sasuke knew, it was like this until they moved from the compound. 

"No buts, go, you need to leave now!" he was in a hurry for them to leave, Sasuke could feel how he was pushing Itachi out of the house, it was a little surprising.

"I will miss you two, see you in about a week," and with that, the door was closed and a shout was heard from their house, but neither of the boys could understand what was shouted.

"Don't be scared little brother, they probably wanted to know that we were out so they could leave. Probably that was what happened so let's go to Shisui till they come back." he was reassuring him, but now he could hear very clearly what was shouted, and he didn't understand it.

"Finally they left!"

Chapter Text

Sasuke woke up with a gasp. He didn't even realise when he started crying, and he didn't know why he was crying. That dream was strange, but it wasn't a nightmare. He wasn't scared of it, not really. He was confused because it was happening for a while now, it was as if he started remembering forgotten memories that could help him with something, but with what? What was so important that it woke him up for two weeks every night? Turning his body so he could look at the clock he saw it was normally the hour when his big brother Naruto would be on the sofa staring at the wall. It was strange, he didn't understand why was he even there, but he saw nobody questioned it, so he shut up.

"Sasuke? Why are you crying?" he heard his brother's voice. He was in the same room as him now, standing at the doorway     

"Huh? I don't know. I had a very strange dream from when we were little. I don't understand it", Sasuke replied looking at Itachi strangely. What was Itachi doing at this hour in the middle of the night in his room?

"I usually wake up now to go to the living room for Naruto and I heard you crying. What did you dream about that made you cry?" asked Itachi after explaining what was going on with him not sleeping. 

"We were little, still in the compound. I was still a baby I think and I was in your arms. Naruto was pushing us out of the house saying that he and our parents won't be home, so we needed to stay at Shisui's house for a few days. You tried to say something, but he already said goodbye to us and closed the door, but exactly at that moment father screamed something strange. He said: "Finally they left." explained Sasuke looking at Itachi who was listening closely to what he was saying.

Itachi was shocked because he could remember situations like this, and he could feel something was strange from that moment, but he never asked about them. Now, it was as if something made a click somewhere in his brain, it was true. There were days when Naruto would make them leave for Shisui's house with different excuses and sometime when the door would be closed, a scream or two would be heard. He never knew what was screamed, but he always explained to his little brother that his parents just wanted to know if they left or not, or they just forgot something. The problem now was that while what his father was correct, they just left, the word "finally" didn't make any sense. Were they expected to leave earlier? Where would his parents go to be so late that they needed to say that? What was happening in the house when they weren't there?

"Thanks for telling me about this. You can go to sleep, I will stay with you until you will fall asleep." 

While watching his brother breathing becoming even, Itachi's mind was in chaos.

~~~

"Will you tell them?" asked Orochimaru looking at the boy that was breathing hard and was sweating in his embrace.

"No. They don't need to know the truth." was Naruto's immediate response.

"Why don't you try talking with somebody? I don't think these missions are good for your mental health. You have nightmares again", explained him softly looking at the boy whose breathing was finally normal again.

"They don't need to know about the truth behind their parents' kind faces or the faces of the majority of the clan's. I don't want them to feel they own me something for it, or just to look at me with pity", it was hard for Naruto to talk about it, it made him uncomfortable just remembering these things.

"You couldn't have gotten help..." for a moment Naruto saw himself in Orochimaru, the same empty eyes, the same empty tone and the same reminiscent tone. 

"The Uchiha clan was already suspected of controlling the Kyubi, and it wasn't even before that very liked by the village. The police were under that man, and if the Hokage would have found out what they were doing to the Kyubi jinchiuriki I would have been put under Inoichi and he would have found out that I wasn't as innocent as I was appearing. And even if I could have gotten help, Danzo would have taken that chance to eliminate the clan, Itachi and Sasuke included and the other innocent children and people" explained Naruto, because he thought about it then, then on the following years. It was always in his mind and even now it hasn't left.

"I know, I know baby. You don't need to explain it to me," said Orochimaru looking as if he was in some sort of hallucination.

Naruto just turned to look in his eyes and hugged him close. He wanted to feel his warm skin against his as he was wrapped in his arms. Both of them were traumatized about this type of things, and it was probably normal, they were shinobi after all. All the persons who were on the top in the village were left with traumas because of what they experienced. ANBU more than others because the missions you are required to do are harder and are harsh. To be a good ANBU you need to be cold, numb to your emotions so that they can't hurt you and powerful. You need to be able to kill even if you know you când save. You need to be able to shut up even if you know that if you speak up something or someone will maybe change their mind. You need to be able to follow orders even if you know they are wrong. You need to be able to forget about everything and be ready to die if you have to. You need to be able to become a machine and not a human. It hurts to think about it and nobody talks about it, as if because you talk about it, it will suddenly become real, and if you don't it will disappear.

Orochimaru knew things don't always go in the way you want, but it was so strange to think about Naruto as a happy kid when he was younger. It was strange to think about him being bright-eyed and innocent. It was so strange to think about his as a child with a pure mind and an honest heart that couldn't hide from the other people. It was strange to think about him that wasn't hiding pain, trauma and suffering beneath a cold face and empty eyes. But he knew, Orochimaru knew that person existed, it just disappeared when he realized that he could not survive as he was.

Looking at the boy that was holding him close to him, that was warm and beautiful, that was so broken that some pieces of him cut and hurt, and some are missing, Orochimaru was in pain. It was hard to face him when he knew he was the same, the same pain, the same missing pieces and the same jagged edges. Probably that was why they could find peace in each other's arms because they knew if they talked about it nobody will judge them, it will be just a conversation with concern from both sides.

"When I was twelve, my sensei thought that it will be a good idea to make us be able to recognize seduction and be able to escape psychological manipulation, so he sent us into one of the most famous brothels in the Fire Nation. It was strange to be suddenly thrown into this dark part of the world. I and the other two were scared of it, we're scared of the people who looked at us as if we were some pieces of meat or just some toys to use to satisfy their sexual needs. We lost our virginity in the same room being sold to three people that we needed to capture and take back to the village for interrogation. We couldn't move, but I remember I was the first to make the man stop. I captured one, and Tsunade captured another one. Jiraya couldn't do it, he was bleeding and so the other man escaped." Orochimaru was remembering the entire thing as if it happened yesterday.

It was strange to think about it, it wasn't something very important for others, but for the three of them was one of the traumatic experiences that had changed the way they saw the world. Before that, they all believed in the fairness of the shinobi world, of the "cool and awesome" battles ninja fought. They believed they would kill or capture bad people, people that will never be able to make the world a better place, but after some of the stories they listen to in that brothel for that four months, they couldn't be more scared of it. They were scared of the world and the shinobi. They were scared to even think about the next missions they would be sent to after this one.

"I had a mission into a brothel once. It was something I couldn't forget."Naruto didn't say more, but both of them knew that they were there for a limited time, but some people were bound to that place, that couldn't leave, that had to die to escape their lives, and most are doing just that.

They didn't speak after that, but they held onto each other as they fell asleep.

"Today I will send you to a mission that will make you see what sacrifice shinobi make for the village they belong to." that was what Sarutobi sensei said as he pushed them into the open doors of the beautiful building.

That didn't know what was happening and what they were doing there, but just as they were about to speak they saw girls and boys, some that were even younger than them dressed in beautiful kimonos and men and women with them in their arms. Orochimaru suddenly understood what was happening, they were in a brothel and they were all disguised. They had seals on them to keep their appearance from being discovered and he suddenly understood why.

"Maru, Nade and Raya are the three new purchases that I told you about. They are virgins and they befriend each other in the time they were in my care, give me the money and I give them to you." their sensei, now transformed into a tattooed guy with a scar on his left cheek was pushing them to the woman that was smoking.

"Good job Zen, they will be taken care of by me and the rest of the products here," the woman spoke and handed him the money as their sensei just pushed something into Orochimaru's hand.

They were too shocked to be able to say something, and by the time they all realized that they were sold to this place, their sensei disappeared out of it.

~~~

"S-stop!" they cried as they were pushed onto the bed.

The men laughed at them, Orochimaru could feel the fear of freezing his blood and his body, making it unable to move. He wanted to get away from here. He didn't want this mission. He didn't want this to happen. He could hear the sound of tearing clothes as the men smirked and entered their virgin and young bodies at the same time. He screamed. He could hear Tsunade and Jiraya begging for them to stop, to get out from their bodies because they didn't want it, but they were hit by them.

He didn't understand what exactly was happening to them. He could smell blood but from where? What was bleeding? What was happening with them? Why was the bed moving? Why he could hear screaming, crying and begging? Why was he screaming? Why was he crying? For what was he begging for? What was happening to them?

It went on forever. The screaming. The begging. The crying. Orochimaru could remember they needed to make the man unable to move for their mission. They needed to capture them, but he was unable to move his hands. They were so weak. Why he couldn't move his hands? Why was he so weak?

Just as he was almost unconscious. He grasped the kunai from under his pillow and with a swift move he cut the rope that was on his hand and stuck it in the man's neck. It was happening in a split of a second. Tsunade did the same thing as he did, just that she stabbed him in the heart. Jiraya was unconscious, he could not hear what was happening there.

The remaining man just jumped on the window and disappeared in the night, as the three children were in the same  positions as before the assault. He was scared, he was so scared and confused because he didn't understand the situation they were in."

With a gasp, Orochimaru was woken up by Naruto who was shaking him.

" Are you alright? You were whimpering in your sleep and whispering "stop" al over again" asked Naruto concerned about his lover.

"Yes, I was just having a nightmare, that's all," he explained to the shaken man as he buried in Naruto's arms once more. 

Chapter Text

Naruto's mind was straying again as he approached Konoha. He wasn't glad that he was back, but he missed his little brothers. Talking with Orochimaru helped him, even if he didn't want to think about him right now. He knew that his lover was strong, but sometimes, just sometimes, he wonders if his trauma was putting a strain on his body, as their child had. It was strange to think he has a child, even if he never wanted one. It was one born from a man, from a traitor that everybody hates, and he can't help but feel hate for them. The civilians don't have any right to judge ninjas or anything that enters this sphere of things. They didn't know how hard the real world was, how painful was to wake up sometimes and look at the sky and think that it's possibly the last time you see it. He didn't want to stay in this village, but they threatened him with his little brothers, with his only lights in his completely dark world. He knew they would probably survive and hide, but he doesn't want that type of life for them. It was painful just to look at a shinobi without a village and you would know.

As he walks into the village he thinks he can now say he feels miserable. His heartfelt utterly empty, he couldn't feel it beat in his chest. It felt wrong to enter Konoha. Every time he entered this village he felt wrong, he felt somehow trapped. He knew it was all in his head, it wasn't supposed to feel this way when one came home, but he couldn't call this place home. His home was where his little brothers were, where his daughter and lover lived, where he was having his base.

He entered anyway, how could he not. If he didn't enter this place, he couldn't see his beautiful brothers. He knew he was obsessed with them, he wanted to know everything so that he could protect them against everyone and everything, but he couldn't, he really couldn't, so he didn't ask too many questions, it was that simple. Now, looking at this gate he felt alone and empty. He felt he has been abandoned by his soul, it's like he couldn't be himself here and it hurt, it hurt so much sometimes that he needed to make it hurt less by damaging himself. He used to cut or pick at his skin until blood would come out. Kurama always healed him, but both knew it wasn't healthy at all, it wasn't.

He had a very bad feeling about something as he entered this village. Sometimes he could feel it in the air, in the chakra that was everywhere, and now, it told him that something bad happened. He disappeared in a smoke and reappeared in the Hokage's office.

"I'm back," he said looking at them with dead eyes, hoping to get out quickly from this place.

"Yes, welcome back to Konoha. Leave your mission report on the table and go home, your family needs you." the Hokage said and Naruto felt like he was falling into cold eyes, he felt like he was drowning, like he wasn't present here, but at the same time, he was conscious of it.

He didn't say anything else. Naruto appeared in from of his house's door and entering quickly and quietly. Nobody was in the living room as he could see, but he heard and felt chakra from Itachi's room, and now he felt like if something happened to him he would kill everyone in this village, no matter who.

He knocked on the door, but nobody answered, so he entered slowly, having his own eyes adjusting to the darkness in the room.

"Itachi? I'm home. Are you feeling fine? Did something happen to you?" he called him and asked questions, closing the door behind him without making any noise.

"I'm fine," responded Itachi with a voice he knew too well, it was the same empty voice without inflexions that he too had when he had been raped for the first time.

"Baby? Can you tell me what happened? I want to help you, but I can't if you don't tell me the truth." he convinced himself to say this, not asking him yet to confirm his thoughts.

"It's nothing. I'm just not ready to talk to anyone about it yet," responded Itachi with a scratchy voice, like he didn't talk until now at all.

"Are you sure baby? We can talk if you want, but if you don't then do you want me to make you some hot chocolate?" asked Naruto scared of the answer because when it happened to him for the first time he didn't feel the need to eat or drink for quite some time.

"I'm sure. I don't want anyone to enter my room for now." his voice was empty and he knew from experience that you can't fake that voice so well if you don't feel completely numb.

"Ok baby," he responded and went into the kitchen.

He had some Sojo and if he went looking a bit deeper he had whiskey too. He popped open a bottle and drank from the bottle. It burnt his mouth, his throat especially, but he felt calmer. He was scared right now. He was really scared that he was right in his assumption and that he can't do anything now.

It was dark already, and he drank a lot, three bottles and one half of another. He smelt of alcohol, but he could still feel completely sober. Kurama probably burnt the alcohol in his body as poison, so he was still sober even after so many bottles. It hurt him to think that what happened to him happened to his baby brother too. It was that thought that had him getting up from the couch and walking to his door.

"Baby, do you want to talk to me? I promise I won't ask anything about what happened to you if you don't want to. It's not good for you to stay like that." he told his brother that was probably up in his bed staring at the walls.

Itachi didn't respond, but he opened the door to get out of his room. The first thing he noticed was the smell of alcohol in the air, but he didn't comment on it, after all, he would have drunk too if he knew where the alcohol was.

"Are you feeling a bit better?" Naruto asked, and Itachi just glanced at him and sat on the couch.