Archive of Our Own ^beta

Tae Joon's fairly certain, like, ninety-four percent, that somewhere along the way, he royally messed up.

It's Pathfinder's birthday. Technically, his first birthday, because Natalie went all kinds of apeshit when he mentioned he didn't have one. He's watching as Natalie strings up bunting in the communal lounge, perched on Elliott's shoulders because apparently there's not a single damn ladder between them.

Tae Joon's holding a withered purple balloon in his hands and thinks 'screw this', tossing the thing onto the table before it becomes a ridiculous metaphor and stomping out of the room.

He knows what's bothering him, it's the stupid, dumbass holo dick, but it's the amount that it's bothering him that's really making his skeleton want to break free of his skin.

He means, he knows they're just friends and yet the jealousy he feels just knowing that Natalie has her thighs either side of Elliott's face right now makes his stomach hurt.

He knows there's nothing going on, but walking in to the gym earlier to find Elliott pinned and pleading mercy beneath Anita while she smirked at him kinda made him want to throw up.

As did watching the fond look in Ajay's eyes as she laughed at his jokes while she bandaged up the knuckles he'd split in the ring. The damn list went on and on.

The way he and Octavio snuck around, thick as thieves, laughing and generally being pains in everyone else's ass.

Gibraltar point blank refusing to cook pork chops because even though he's the resident chef, he knows he'll never be able to cook them like Elliott does and he says so every time, just to see the way the engineer lights up. Renee seeking him out when the voices are overwhelming her because he's the only one who can silence them with his endless stream of nonsense. Bloodhound being the one who lays a comforting hand on Elliott's shoulder when the days are harder than usual. It's all just... stuff. There's nothing romantic to it but Tae Joon is just so damn jealous, all the time, because what does he have when it comes to the trickster, really?

Mean comments and barely disguised disdain.

Once he caught Caustic passing a screwdriver to Elliott in the workshop while making a barely there compliment about his holo tech, and even that had driven him up the damn wall.

The robot got to be his best friend and the thief, for all it was obvious that Loba's interest in Elliott was non existent, was at least genuine when she told him he was the best looking legend in the games, even if it was just to keep the idiot on a short rope.

He calls Elliott an old man and idly threatens to kill him.

The only one who does that too is someone Elliott hates. Someone everyone hates.

Somehow, when it comes to Elliott, Tae Joon has managed to slot himself into the same category as the murderous simulacrum.

Elliott doesn't like him, and that hurts far more than it was supposed to.

It's his own fault, he knows that. He gets on well enough with the others but in the beginning he had made it his job to piss Elliott off, because Elliott was nosy and talked too much, two things guaranteed to put Tae Joon on edge. Tae Joon knew that Mirage was a shallow, self centred moron, and he didn't have time for someone like that.

It was only after he'd tried to wrench Elliott's arm from his socket that he learned the truth everyone else on that ship already knew.

Mirage and Elliott? Yeah. Not the same guy.

He'd learned that almost at once when two days after landing on the solid, frozen ground with enough force to break two of his ribs, Elliott had unthinkingly, automatically reached down to pick up his fallen drone and handed to him to spare him the pain of doing it himself, while still talking over his shoulder to Ajay. When Elliott had started making 'eggplant' chops alongside the usual to accommodate Tae Joon's preferences, without ever being asked or even mentioning it at all.

The day Elliott had asked him, full of genuine curiosity, how the neurolink worked and listened without interruption for almost half and hour while Tae Joon explained before nodding and smiling and leaving him in peace, Tae Joon had spent the rest of the hour staring at the walls and wondering just what the hell was going on.

Then just as he makes a conscious effort to maybe not be so cruel to Elliott, they drop into the ring again and Mirage is taunting him because he's the kill leader and calling him Cryppy and he kind of wants to do the other arm, too. And when Elliott gets downed he can't help but push back and mock him and it's kind of alright because he's not looking to fight for friendships he doesn't want and can't even have, not really.

So instead they fall into this cycle. Elliott's pleasant enough and casually kind and not so much of an ass right until his boots hit the arena floor and then Mirage comes out again, all bravado and swagger and arrogance. Tae Joon can't quite get his head around the truth, that it's all an act, because pretend man or not Mirage is still an asshole and he's being an asshole to him.

By now it's the sort of rivalry that shifts t-shirts, even if he is kinda coming off as the heel which is fine but also not because some people take this stuff way too seriously and the last thing he needs is some rabid fan coming after him for bullying their precious Mirage.

Everything else is simple enough. The Syndicate? Evil bastards. He's going to kill them and he's going to enjoy every second of it.

The Games? Stupid, but necessary, and he's capable enough to put up with the minor inconvenience of a match now and again.

The others? They're fine. Who he sees in the ring tends to transfer to the other side of it, no tricks, no lies, no illusions.

No decoys.

And then there's Elliott Witt. Tae Joon's well aware that he thinks of Elliott in about seven different directions. From hating the idiot he pretends to be to loving the man he really is, and inbetween there's jealousy and doubt and self-loathing and confusion but most of all there's a hollow emptiness because Elliott barely looks at him.

He guesses Elliott feels the same way, that Elliott sees the distinct line between Crypto and Hyeon Kim because since that first day on the drop ship Tae Joon's been careful not to hurt him outside of the ring again. It was just a one time thing, a stupid alpha male display to make sure he had a place at the dinner table and Elliott, even then, took it with almost good grace and had never tried to get back at the hacker.

Elliott's a good guy with the same dark streak they all have, or they wouldn't be here.

There's no denying that he was severely underprepared to enter the Games. He's spent so long hiding himself away, lurking and plotting and generally shrivelling up into something mean and vengeful, that he's forgotten about the problem with people. How they're all different and it takes a lifetime to get to know them, and even then that might not be enough because people, they always surprise you. Everyone's made of a million different things and it's entirely up to them which ones they show to the world, and to be angry when something unintended slips out.

Tae Joon knows that Elliott is the best at making sure the mask hardly ever slips, but underneath the hair products and bright smile and flirty winking there's blood and heart and bad memories. He doesn't wear them like armour, not like Tae Joon does, who always sees Mila in every shadow and in all that he does. In fact, Elliott hates the things he cannot change, cannot fix, and prefers instead to pretend that they aren't even there.

Anita had let it slip, the fact that most of the Witt family are statistics now, and Elliott never even acknowledges it. Tae Joon wonders if that's even right, if it's not somehow disrespectful, to pretend that his brothers never were.

But Tae Joon knows a defence mechanism when he sees one.

It's not as if he's telling Elliott he's a jackass because it's true.

He sighs and picks up the present he's gotten for Pathfinder, which is just a box of spare components he threw together from the various piles of junk in his room. He'd come here on a quest for revenge, pitted himself against an impossibly large foe, and now, here he is, going to a MRVNs birthday party.

He tosses the package in the garbage and leaves the complex.

He's not doing this. It's ridiculous and stupid and not why he's there at all. He makes his way to a cyber cafe a little way into the city and gets to work. His phone chimes in his pocket and he ignores it; he's not in the mood to defend himself right now.

The night wears on, grows darker and the cafe starts to empty out until it's just him and one other guy, a massive pair of headphones on his head, wearing a sweat stained shirt. The owner has begun to sweep the floor with extreme prejudice and Tae Joon gets the message long before his friend who is currently knee deep in pretending to be a half-orc, half-wood nymph who is almost completely naked.

He stomps his way sullenly back to the complex, only to be met with the sight of a party well, properly partied, including but not limited to Octavio face down in the punch bowl and blowing bubbles in the pink concoction. He moves the daredevil just to be sure he won't drown in the night and looks up to see Ajay giving him an approving smile as she wobbles her way unsteadily through the door to her room.

He leaves soon after, making his way to his own lodgings but he's barely collapsed on his bed when his phone pipes up with a message.

We missed you tonight.

Part of him really wants to ignore it but there's a far more primal part if him that has his fingers skimming across the screen.

Doubt it, Witt.

He lays back on his bed but has barely closed his eyes when his phone prompts him again.

Well I did.

He wonders what he's done to be teased by the universe like this and he can't find a response within his tired soul so he just lays his phone face down on his bedside table and wills sleep to excuse him from his stupid heart for a little while.

He gets ten minutes into deep breathing and denial before there's a knock at his door.

Elliott's standing there, eyes a little glassy but otherwise his usual self, And Tae Joon almost shuts the door in his face.

"Its late," he points out.

Elliott doesn't seem to care.

"Where were you? Maybe we all expected Caustic and the murder bot not to show but you know Path likes you. I think you hurt his feelings."

"Bullshit," Tae Joon replies but he doesn't stop Elliott from practically falling into his room.

He should have. Elliott's not at his best and he doesn't want drunken conversations with him, not ever.

"No it's not," Elliott mumbles. "And even if it was, it doesn't matter. We're your friends, jackass."

"I don't have friends," Tae Joon replies as Elliott flops on to his bed.

"Course you do," Elliott replies. "You got Nat and Anita and Path of course cause he likes everyone and you got me because you're the... the best... My..." Elliott trails off as sleep takes him and no matter what Tae Joon can't help but think that in his slightly squiffy state the only thing that mattered to Elliott was finding him.

Elliott's snoring in a matter of moments and Tae Joon throws a blanket over him and pushes the cat off the couch to make his own bed. He's tired but he's also weirdly happy and he hopes Elliott remembers this in the morning, remembers coming to him, because Tae Joon knows that sleep will be hard when he's thinking about it.

-

In the morning, Elliott seems confused to be where he is and Tae Joon gives him aspirin and water and leaves before Elliott can speak. There are other ways he's imagined Elliott spending the night in his bed but they're just fantasies.

This is less than those, and yet so much more.

He seeks out Pathfinder instead and hands him a slightly battered package he fished out of his garbage can.

"Happy birthday," he mutters, as the robot unwraps the parcel and exclaims his immediate delight.

"Thank you!" Pathfinder replies in his usual cheery tone. "You left before the party."

Tae Joon lowers his head. "I wasn't feeling well," he lies.

"Oh dear. What a shame. Elliott missed you very much."

"He did?"

"Oh, yes friend!" Pathfinder says offhandedly as he sorts through the rubbish Tae Joon had gifted him. He takes a small screw from the package and holds it up to the light. "Ajay said he's an idiot. I don't think he is. I think he is just..."

"What?" Tae Joon prompts him.

"Jealous."

Tae Joon laughs. "Of what?"

Pathfinder whirrs in place while he considers Tae Joon's question.

"Of the fact that you had somewhere better to be where he wasn't."

Tae Joon is left still as Pathfinder wanders away and he is seized by the mad desire to return to his room and confront Elliott.

But he doesn't do that.

Instead he makes himself breakfast and heads to the workshop to work on his drone.

He's not surprised when Elliott wanders in half an hour later. Elliott works on his tech all the time, quietly, away from the others, but Tae Joon has noticed his dedication.

"Oh. Hey," Elliott says, and his voice is low and unsure and Tae Joon can't stop himself, can't stop being jealous and can't stop wanting and he clears his throat before he speaks.

"Do you... do you dislike me?" he asks, trying to sound cool but the question is so loaded he has no chance.

Elliott looks at him, and Tae Joon practically sees Mirage fall away.

"Do you want me to?"

Tae Joon shrugs. "No," he mutters.

Elliott smiles. "Then we are all good. Pass me that screwdriver?"

Tae Joon does so. Then he swallows thickly. "Where did you learn all this?" he asks, gesturing at the holo tech.

And Elliott tells him. Tells him about his mom and how she taught him everything he knows, about his life growing up as the youngest of four brothers and about how they are all gone now and Tae Joon expresses his condolences as Elliott tries to rally around the truth that perhaps he did not mean to share.

"You're... you're a good guy," Elliott tells him as he snaps a pair of pliers against one of his projectors.

Tae Joon doesn't answer. He just smiles.

To Elliott, maybe he's more than a rival. Maybe he's a friend.

Their fingers brush as they both reach for the same tool on the bench.

Maybe someday, Tae Joon tells himself as Elliott snatches his hand away and actually blushes, they can be something more.

It will take time, for both of them, but he doesn't feel as jealous as Elliott flicks a nail at his drone. As Elliott leaves and returns with coffee for them both. As Elliott shrugs off his sweater and works away in his tank.

Some day, he tells himself, he's probably going to kiss Elliott Witt.

And he thinks Elliott will let him.