Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Gosh have you seen her tan?" Lyra's long blonde ponytail bounced as she flopped onto her queen bed. 

"What? No, lemme see," Y/N said. Lyra rolled across the teal duvet and tossed the phone into Y/N's hand. 

She gasped. "Her bikini is thinner than a linguini noodle!"

Y/N wondered if it was even possible to swim in a bikini that small. Wouldn't the current just rip it away? She shivered at the thought.

"Never mind that Y/N, look at her tan!"

"Geez I thought the boob job was enough.."

Lyra sat up. "Do you think I could get one?"

"Get what?" Y/N asked.

Lyra yanked the phone out of her hand and pointed to the model's breasts. 

Y/N wrinkled her nose. "No way!"

"You'll understand when you start wearing a real bra," Lyra said

"Hey, I do wear a real one!" she huffed.

Y/N picked up Lyra's butterfly print pillow and launched it at her head. Lyra ducked and the pillow flew right out the door. 

 "What was th- that for?"

The girls froze. A rather short boy with unkept brown hair and very pale skin stood in the doorframe. There was a plate in his hand. 

"Oh hey Toby, didn't see you there," Lyra spoke. 

"I guess you haven't met Y/N yet." "She's 12 too, you know," Lyra winked and Toby cracked his neck.

Lyra had mentioned before she had a younger brother but despite being neighbours and attending the same school, Y/N had never actually seen him before. He seemed nice, maybe a little shy.

"Hi!" Y/N said with a toothy grin. Toby's head jerked back. 

Oh. Y/N wondered if she should have smiled without her teeth. Someone once told her on picture day Y/N looked like the Cheshire Cat, but in need of braces. Y/N toyed with the hem of her t-shirt. 

"I don't bite," she said.

Toby stared at the ground and Lyra's bedroom fell silent. 

Geez, what was up with him? Maybe I really do look weird. 

Lyra broke the silence, pointing at the plate in his hand. "Is that for us?"

Toby chewed on his lip and then nodded. He reluctantly made his way towards Lyra's bed and placed the plate on her nightstand. 

"Thanks Toby," Lyra said. She picked up the plate and set it in her lap. Stacked on the plate were some Eggo waffles, drizzled in maple syrup. 

"Ugh, Toby, not again."  "Dad wants us to save these for breakfast," she sighed.

Toby twitched while shrugging, "More for me," he replied, reaching for the plate. But Y/N yanked it back. 

"Are you kidding me?" Y/N said.

"My dad never buys Eggos, and you guys are eating them as snacks?" 

Y/N grabbed one of the Eggos and took a huge bite. It was still warm and the syrup tasted like liquid gold. Was that butter in there too? Dang. I missed you Eggo waffles.

Y/N swallowed her last bite before declaring, "Sorry Toby, but these waffles are all mine now!" 

Toby wore a huge grin on his face. Well at least he's in a better mood now. 

"What is it?" Y/N raised a brow.

 Toby covered his mouth for a moment before breaking into a huge fit of laughter. Geez, what's his deal?

Lyra held up her phone and Y/N heard a click accompanied by some loud giggling. Her too?

"You guys?!" "This isn't funny, why are you both looking at me like that?"

Toby held his stomach and wheezed, pointing to Y/N's face.

She rushed over to the mirror hung up on Lyra's bedroom wall. Y/N's jaw dropped. 

Massive globs of sticky syrup dripped down the corners of her mouth and - somehow - there was syrup on her forehead. How did that even happen? She looked like some sort of crazy waffle monster. Y/N peeled away the strands of H/C hair from her forehead. "Oh my god," she choked.

"Well, I brought these for a reason," Toby snorted, wiping the tears from his eyes. He held up a small stack of napkins and handed them to Y/N. She avoided Toby’s gaze. 

Lyra couldn't tell if Y/N was trying to wipe away the syrup, or the obvious flush on her face.

"Guess I'll see you later Ms Eggo," Toby laughed and walked out the door.

Chapter Text

The bell rang and Y/N hurriedly grabbed her books and pens from her locker, stuffing them in her backpack. She zipped up her bag and sighed in relief. The school day was over, and she could go home. 

Y/N had a route she stuck to every day. She would start off by going through the school's west wing doors, so she could pass the soccer field. 

She wasn't interested in watching the boys' soccer team play. Instead, Y/N was interested in picking dandelions. She liked to make flower chains - so what?

Although this week the school's west wing had been closed. It had something to do with a weird smell coming from an old classroom. 

Y/N was forced to choose a different exit from the usual and she decided on the school's back door.

There was no soccer field, but sometimes you could find dandelions pushing their way through cracks in the cement. That's why dandelions were Y/N's favourite. The flowers were strong and resilient. Plus - nobody wanted a weed, so she had them all to herself!

Y/N pushed open the double doors, shielding her eyes. It was a hot and sunny day in Denver. Y/N smiled when she spotted several dandelions growing in the pavement cracks. She picked a spot in the shade and went away at picking and weaving to make a chain big enough to fit around her head. 

When she decided that was enough, she heard the voices of some boys shouting. She overheard the words "Weirdo!" and "Spazzy Tic Boy!" At first she didn't see anyone, but when she peered around the corner of the courtyard, she spotted a couple boys shoving someone to the ground. 

Whoever they pushed landed with an "Oomph" that was followed by a series of cracks. Did they break the kid's bones?  Y/N felt dizzy.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" she yelled. "You better get out of here before I tell the principal," "He's my dad, you know!"

That had been a complete lie. Y/N was scared of authority and the principal had a son.

The bullies gave Y/N a dirty look and a quick glance at each other before grabbing their things and running away. Y/ N exhaled. Thank god the threat had worked. That was too easy. Cowards. 

When Y/N saw who was laying on the ground, her heart sank. It was Lyra's brother, Toby Rogers. He looked bad. Why would they do this to him?

"Oh my god-" "Toby-" "are you ok?" Y/N asked. 

Toby wiped his nose with his sleeve. "Yeah, m'okay waffle girl," he croaked. If it weren't for these circumstances, Y/N would have kicked him for that. 

She linked arms with Toby and helped pull him off the ground. There was another loud crack when he fully stood up.

"Oh no- Toby I'm so sorry I didn't even check if they broke any of your bones," Y/N frowned.

"No, I'm ok," he said, cracking his neck. Y/N remembered the name she heard earlier, Spazzy Tic Boy.The bullies didn't mean "Tick" as in the bug. They had been making fun of Toby’s motor tics. It was a brutal realization, one that left Y/N devastated.

"I'm sorry Toby," she murmured. "But I'm really glad you're OK."

"Hey- um, did you know that you were bleeding?" she pointed to his hands, worry laced into her voice.

He glanced down for a moment and then wiped his palms on his pants.

"Woah-" "Hey? what are you doing?" "Doesn't that hurt?" Y/N asked. Toby shook his head.

"Not even a little bit?"

Toby looked down at the pavement. 

"I c- can't feel pain," he said. 

"D- do they look really bad?" Toby asked, holding up his palms to Y/N.

"I guess the scratches don't look too deep," she told. "But there are some little rocks in there we'll need to take out."

Toby nodded. Y/N rubbed the back of her neck and felt her dandelion chain. She carefully lifted the chain over her head and placed it around Toby's neck.

"There," she said. 

For a moment the two made eye contact and Y/N couldn't help but notice how worn out Toby looked. His skin lacked colour and there were dark circles underneath his eyes. He looks like someone straight out of a Tim Burton film. Toby cleared his throat and Y/N's cheeks turned pink.

"Do you wanna walk home together?"

Chapter Text

Y/N had only ever walked home from school with Toby Rogers once. It wasn't because she decided once was enough but because that had been Toby's last day at public school. 

When he had arrived home that day, Y/N had overheard that- that had not been his first time being bullied.The boys in Toby's class had been harassing him since the first day of grade 7.

Toby's mom called the principle and talked to many counsellors, but she became convinced that it was best for Toby to stay homeschooled. 

When Toby was pulled out of public school he became lonely. He began conversing with various objects in his house and blamed it on his medication.

At the age of 15, Toby's older sister became busier and busier. With college around the corner, her track meets went from once a week to every day after school and it left her very little time to spend with Y/N.

 So when Lyra was busy, Y/N found herself getting closer to Toby. It was fun, really. But mostly because they had the house all to themselves on weekdays.

"Wow, how long have you had this for?" Y/N lifted a stuffed cow off from Toby's shelf. Toby pulled his gaze away from the window and turned around to face her. 

"Are these band-aids?" she giggled holding up the plush cow's left hoof.

Toby grimaced. "I put those on there when I was 4? Maybe 5?" "I don't know, it was when I pretty much lived in the hospital," he told, walking over to his bed. 

Y/N set down the cow and skipped over to Toby's old closet. The doors squeaked when she pulled them open. 

"I don't remember giving you an invitation to snoop around my room," Toby said, crossing his arms.

"Aw c'mon Toby, your room is so fascinating and-" 

Y/N gasped. "You kept this?" 

Hanging on a hook in Toby's closet was the dandelion chain Y/N had made in grade 7. Something about that made Y/N’s chest flutter. 

Toby collapsed onto his bed and sighed.

"Y/N you said you'd come to the store with me today, remember?" he interrupted. "I promised my mom I'd run some errands for her." 

 "Yeah, OK, OK."

  "You better bring your wallet though, 'cause this time I'm not paying!" Y/N huffed.

Toby rolled his eyes but Y/N swore she saw the corners of his mouth twitch. 

As they walked to the store side by side, Y/N was reminded of how much Toby had grown. When they were twelve, Y/N had been much taller than Toby. Now the boy stood at five feet, one inch. 

To be fair, Toby was only taller than Y/N by an inch and a half but now his shoulders had become more broad and his voice had deepened. 

Nonetheless, Toby was still Toby with his pale skin, lanky build and signature eye-bags and of course those perpetual tics of his. Good ol' Toby. 

The convenience store was only a couple blocks away. The sky began to glow with pinks and oranges as the two passed by the forest. 

"Do you always go to the store this late?" Y/N asked. She waited for a response but there was only silence.

"Toby?" 

Y/N looked behind her and spotted Toby standing far behind, staring into the forest. Seriously Toby?  Y/N drew out a long sigh and stomped over to the boy.

"Hey Toby if you're stalling just to get back at me for earlier, I'm sorry for snooping around your room," Y/N said.

 He still didn't respond. Y/N tapped Toby on the shoulder and suddenly he jolted. His eyes were wide and he looked winded. It was almost as if he had seen a ghost. Y/N peaked into the forest just to make sure.

"Woah-" "Tobes....you OK?" she asked. 

He opened his mouth but no words came out. Y/N reached out to touch his shoulder but Toby only jerked away and then shook his head. 

"I- I'm alright," he said

 Y/N raised a brow at him.

 "Really, I'm fine."

Toby remained quiet for the rest of the walk and Y/N ended up doing the talking for him at the convenience store. It was hard for Y/N to believe that he was fine. 

  When they walked back to Toby's house, the sun had retired and stars filled the sky.

It was quiet out, not many cars passing by on the street. Occasionally Y/N would hear the snaps and cracks of Toby's tics but otherwise the streets were filled with the sound of trees rustling in the wind and the sound of cicadas. 

Toby pulled out the set of keys to his house when the front door swung open, causing Toby to drop his grocery bag. Y/N flinched at the sound of shattering glass. 

She looked down on the ground to see milk seeping out of the plastic bag and onto the Rogers' welcome mat. Y/N took a step back before her sneakers could get wet.

"Well...loook..who it iss.."

Standing in the doorway was Toby’s father, Mr Rogers. Toby hadn't seen him in weeks and Y/N could see his jaw clench.

"Where..the..hell.. is your mother?" he slurred

Y/N covered her nose with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. Toby's dad reeked of alcohol and cigarettes. 

Toby spoke between gritted teeth. "She's working late, because of you. You should leave."

"That'ss..n- no..way..to..speak..to...y- your father," he scoffed. Mr Rogers suddenly grabbed Toby by the collar and yanked him into the doorway. Toby didn't look afraid, but he looked angry. Really angry. 

 "You better get your act together..." Mr Rogers spat. "Becausse..you-"

 "You're draining this family....like a little leech."  

Something changed in Toby's expression when he heard his father's words. His eyes became empty and his gaze fell down to the puddle of milk. Y/N felt an ache in her chest.

 "Leave him alone!" she tried to shout, but it came out as a whimper. Mr Rogers threw Toby onto the porch and Y/N's lower lip trembled.

"Who'ss...this?" He breathed. "Toby..you-" "You..TELL..this..disrespectfulll..girll..to leave..my property...or else-"

Toby remained frozen on the ground, an empty look in his eyes. Mr Rogers raised his hand to strike and Y/N suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline. She swooped in to grab Toby's hand, yanking him off the ground and she ran.

Mr Rogers cursed and screamed while Y/N ran as fast as her legs could carry her with a tight grip on Toby’s hand. She lead him into her fenced-in backyard, slamming the gate shut and quickly locking it. 

"Why don't you stay here for the night?" Y/N panted.

Toby shook his head, snapping out of his trance. "I can't."

"Why not? My dad's on a business trip, you'll be safe here," she whispered, grabbing Toby's sleeve.

"But my mother a- and Lyra."

 Y/N felt a lump in her throat. 

"I have to go back," he said. "I- If I don't..It'll just make things worse."

Before she could even reply, Toby unlocked the gate and ran out of Y/N's backyard, leaving her alone in the dark.

Chapter Text

It was a chilly evening and the Rogers' kids sat in their old treehouse, waiting for Y/N.

Lyra had received a call that evening from her coach that track had been canceled. Since Lyra didn't have any homework, she suggested that her and Toby invite Y/N over. 

Although their mother, Ms Rogers, was working a late shift, the kids didn't have the house to themselves. A week ago their father, Mr Rogers, had shown up out of nowhere and decided to move back in.

Mr Rogers would spend all of his time getting drunk in front of the living room TV. He would become aggressive and often lash out on his family. He’d mostly yell at Toby, blaming him for things out of his control. But that wasn’t even the worst of it. 

The siblings agreed that it would be much safer for Y/N to meet them outside of their house, so Lyra made sure to text Y/N specifically not to ring the doorbell and instead to go straight to the treehouse in their backyard. 

Sure, you couldn't stand up straight inside without hitting your head, but Toby felt being cramped up in a small space was much better than repeating the other night with his father and Y/N. 

"Are you ready to have some fun?"

 Lyra poked her head out of the treehouse door to see Y/N clutching onto the rungs of the treehouse's rope ladder, a smile stretched across her face.

"My favourite girl! I missed you!" Lyra grinned. 

 Y/N threw her backpack up onto the oak planks and quickly climbed into the treehouse to give Lyra a big hug. Lyra wrapped her arms tightly around her, and Y/N breathed in her vanilla perfume.

"It's been so long," she said.

"Way too long," Lyra sighed. 

"How've you been?" she asked, giving Y/N a squeeze before pulling away from the hug. 

"I've been alright. How about you? You ready for college?"

"I dunno...do you think the college boys are ready to meet all this?" Lyra smirked and gestured to her toned physique. Y/N laughed. 

"Yeah we get it Lyra, you're hot. But you're also boy crazy. Tone it down a bit."

"Pssht don't tell me you don't have a boyfriend yet Y/N-"

Before Y/N could retort a sudden cough interrupted the girls' conversation.

Sitting across the peeling oak floor was Toby. He was wearing a black turtleneck sweater and skinny jeans. He ran his fingers through his messy brown hair. 

"H- hey," he said. Lyra didn't mention anything about Toby joining us.

Ever since that night, things had been weird between Y/N and Toby.

On that night Y/N had called the police as soon as Toby ran out of her backyard but unfortunately things didn’t go as planned.

After visiting the Rogers’ house, the police came and knocked on Y/N’s door,  warning her that making prank calls could get herself into some serious trouble. 

Y/N found herself angry, but she wasn't the only one who was left mad. Toby had called Y/N an hour later and practically exploded through the phone.When Y/N explained to him that she was only trying to help, Toby ignored her and hung up after saying, “You only made things worse”.

Since then, Y/N  hadn't seen or heard from Toby in more than a week. Every time she thought about texting him, his words would repeat over and over in her head until she’d turn off her phone and walk away from it. Things between them weren’t exactly great right now. 

Y/N toyed with the sleeve of her hoodie.

"Hey." she mumbled.

"So whatcha got in here?" Lyra piped up prodding at Y/N's backpack. 

"Oh-" 

Y/N unzipped the big pocket of her green backpack and dumped out the contents onto the floor. All sorts of candies and snacks fell out, along with two big bottles of Smirnoff vodka.

Lyra's mouth fell open.

"Vodka?!" "Y/N where'd you get this?"

"They were covered in dust, figured dad wouldn't miss them," Y/N shrugged, picking up a Hershey’s Kiss from the floor. 

"You sneaky girl!"

Y/N unwrapped the Kiss and popped it in her mouth. "Help yourself," she said. 

Lyra giggled excitedly and reached for the vodka, popping off the cap. She took a big swig and then passed the bottle over to Toby. He hesitated before bringing the bottle to his lips.

"This is nasty." he coughed. 

"Oh shut up you big baby," Lyra teased.

Toby's face contorted after trying another sip.

Y/N suddenly reached into the pile of snacks on the floor and pulled out Toby's favourite, a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. 

"Here," she said, tossing it to him. "Wash it down with one of these."

"...Thanks."

Y/N watched expectantly as he peeled off the orange wrapper and popped the chocolate in his mouth.

She waited for him to look up at her with his signature lopsided grin but Toby kept his eyes fixed on the ground.

Perhaps Lyra sensed some awkward tension because she nudged Toby's arm. "C'mon Toby, pass it to Y/N."

Toby's shoulder twitched and he raised an eyebrow confusion but when Lyra pointed to the bottle, he picked it up and sheepishly passed it to Y/N.

She almost yanked it out of his fingers, downing at least a quarter of the bottle. it wasn't long before her head started to buzz.

"Shit-"

Y/N turned around to see one of the Smirnoffs was rolling across the floor and towards the treehouse's door. Lyra was chasing after it, her mouth full of Twizzlers.

When she leaned down to grab it, she accidentally hit the bottle with her foot and sent it flying right out of the treehouse.

“Oops!”

 “It's fine..I'll get it."

Y/N pushed herself off of the ground only to fall right back down on her butt. She held her head as the room spun. 

"Ow-"

"I think you drank a little too much, " Lyra giggled. "You better let me get that."

"Noo Lyra...I ca-"

She didn't let Y/N finish before exiting the treehouse and climbing down the rope ladder.

Y/N squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her temples. Maybe drinking half the bottle wasn't a good idea.

"Do you....want me to get you some water?" 

Y/N cracked her eyes open to see Toby scratching his arm. This was the first time he had actually spoken to her all night, she had almost forgotten he was there. 

"Oh-" "Yes..please."

Toby nodded and pushed himself off of the floor. He walked towards the door but Y/N grabbed the sleeve of his sweater, stopping him midway.

"Actually...." she swallowed. "..I don't need water."

Y/N tried to stand up again but Toby grabbed her shoulders before she could fall. He lowered Y/N back down onto the oak floor and sat down, their knees touching.

"The other day..." she started.

Toby shifted uncomfortably on the floor.

"...Are you still mad at me?"

The air was thick with tension.

"I really can't take this anymore Toby....I hate not talking to you." Y/N continued

 "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I messed things up." 

"But Toby, I care about you a-and-" Y/N choked on her words.

It took a moment for her to register that Toby had tightly wrapped his arms around her. He smelled sweet, like cinnamon apples. 

"..Toby?"

"Things are....really bad right n- now," he  stuttered.

"But that doesn't excuse the way I treated you before....I'm sorry." 

Y/N placed her hands on his back and gave him a gentle squeeze. 

Toby took in a shaky breath. "I was just like him." 

Y/N frowned, pulling away from his embrace. Like Mr Rogers? That awful and fowl man? Not my Toby...

"Toby..don't say that." Y/N pleaded.

"You're nothing like him.”

Toby’s eyes welled up with tears and Y/N felt her heart break.

"Hey.." she whispered, gently placing a hand on his cheek. 

 “You’re one of the sweetest people I know”

Y/N wiped a stray tear with her thumb and then pulled him back in for another hug. 

“I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else, Tobes.”

She felt Toby’s breathing slow down and he relaxed into her embrace.

When she pulled away, Y/N observed Toby’s face. His eyes were a bit red and puffy but she couldn't help but get lost in those tawny eyes.

Something in the way his eyes reflected the moonlight and something in the way his brown waves framed his face perfectly made Y/N’s chest flutter.

Toby’s expression changed when he caught her staring and she felt a flush creep up her neck.

”Do you want another Reese’s? Chocolate always cheers me up,” Y/N gulped.

Toby bit his lip and shook his head. Y/N wondered what he was he was thinking about. His eyes kept flickering down to her lips.

God. I probably have chocolate on my face. Drunk Y/N was definitely messier than sober Y/N.

“Ok Toby, I get that it’s funny, but we’ve been friends for..how long? You could at least tell me now if I have something on my face-”

Toby quickly cut her off, pressing his lips against hers. She felt one of his hands cup her jaw and the other rest on her thigh. 

Holy shit-

His lips were slightly chapped but they were warm and Y/N felt herself slowly melt into the kiss. 

Note: Toby’s lips tasted sweeter than Hershey’s Kisses.