Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Seungsik frantically searched his drawer. The note he was holding read -- "First , don’t be panic. You are Kang Seungsik, you have a special disease where you can’t remember things that had happened yesterday. You have a diary where you write everything that happened everyday, it’s in the second drawer of your study table. Read it and stay calm. In case of emergency, call this number Chan- 010xxxxxxx. And remember to stick this note back on your bedside table lamp" – Seungsik.

“God where is it.” He was panicking, closed to crying -  his sweat dripping from his forehead, unable to stay calm at all. His study table was a mess, books and stationaries everywhere, some lying on the floor. He looked in his entire room, only to found no diaries. 

“Seungwoo-hyung!!” Sejun called, his hands holding a tray of freshly baked croissants. The smell of pastries and fresh bakes filled the entire bakery – Wooya’s Bakes and Cakes. 

“What is that thing you’re holding? A book?” Sejun raised his eyebrows, interested. 

“Looks like a diary or a journal I’m not sure. Found it under the table at the front.” Seungwoo examined the book which looks like a diary to him, carefully. It was thick, leather-covered, and it had an attached leather rope.

“Oh oh look, there’s a name and a phone number! Must be the owner’s. Shouldn’t you call and ask, hyung?” Sejun suddenly said, his voice a little bit high pitched than usual.

Seungwoo nodded, he did saw the name and phone number when he examined the diary earlier, “Right, let’s do that.”

The door to Seungsik’s room swung opened. “Sik-ah! Sik-ah where are you?” A black haired man Seungsik assumed was Chan came running for him. This Chan pulled him in for a hug, then cupped his face, examined his body for any irregularities, looked at him with worried eyes, and said “Bro I was so worried. You rarely called me in the morning and if you did it really is an emergency case.” Chan said still panting. He must had run all the way here, Seungsik thought.

“You must be Chan. Are we really close? Do you know what happened to me?” Seungsik asked, still dazed but able to stay calm this time since he’s no longer alone.

Instead of answering, Chan pulled him to the nearest sofa, gently guiding him to sit down and asked “Wait did you really lost your diary?” He bit his lower lips and continued saying “This happened once few months back. Let’s just wait for a while since we put your phone number there in case you lost it again.” 

“Oh..” was the only thing Seungsik able to say.

Chan smiled a reassuring smile and said, “I’m your best friend, well we just became best friends after you called me a year back crying and confused who you really are. Apparently you woke up that morning with no memories at all, and I happened to be the first one in your recent contact list, so you called me. We’ve been best friends since and I’m the only one who knew about your disease, well your secret.” His eyes were giving a sincere and caring look.

“Have I ever tried going to the hospital?” Seungsik asked, paying close attention to Chan’s every words.

“We did, but nothing is wrong with you scientifically.. no one knows why this happened or how to cure it yet..” Chan answered him, choosing words carefully as he himself too not sure of what was happening.

He looked at Chan, somewhat understand his explanation and nodded. He was at loss, yes, just an hour ago he was terrified, frightened, afraid of everything but at least now he calmed down. He felt safe with his best friend.

“You wrote everything in that diary,  everything that happened every day. All the things you do, all the people you’ve met, your feelings, everything, it’s all in that diary. You’ve been using it for nearly a year..” Chan trailed off. He grabbed Seungsik’s hand, his gentle eyes beaming with sincerity, telling him that everything will be okay and they’ll find that diary. “I may not know how you feel everyday, and I can never imagine myself at your place, but one thing I can tell you, you’re handling this really, really well. I was at your side watching everything and I can say that although you forget everything, you are still the same Kang Seungsik I knew, the kind, honest and comforting Seungsik.” 

Seungsik smiled for the first time that day. He was so thankful for having Chan by his side, sharing this secret with him, Chan helping him with everything and came running for him early in the morning with such worried look on his face.

“Oh your phone rang!” Chan jumped off the sofa at the familiar ringtone of Seungsik’s phone, quickly ran to where the phone was located, and answered it immediately. 

“Someone found your diary!!” Chan shouted a little over too loud, too excited, his eyes went into a shape of a crescent moon, “Sik-ah someone found your diary!!” 

Seungsik smiled a bitter smile, "Let's go find my lost memories."

Chapter Text

The sweet and scrumptious smell of pastries and creamy icing filled the entire bakery. It smelled like comfort and warmth, and for Seungwoo, it smelled like home. He had been helping his parents with the bakery since his high school years, and now that he felt capable of handling the bakery by himself, his parents no longer involved in the business and now resting at home.

“Hyung, what was our ‘cake of the month’ in February last year? A customer called and said he wanted the exact same cake he got for his girlfriend last year.” Sejun asked from over the counter while scratching his head.

Sejun, his best friend since childhood, also loved by Seungwoo’s parents dearly, who liked pastries and had an enormous love for coffee, now the barista at Seungwoo’s bakery. Sejun's passion for coffee had convince Seungwoo to let him be the sole barista there, and helped him with everything in regards to the bakery. His quirky ideas on experimenting new drinks and coffee recipe also had helped their bakery a lot.

"Oh last year's February's cake of the month? It was rose lychee cake with milk creme." Seungwoo said, eyes still focusing on the cake he was preparing. It was a carrot cake with a simple creamy white buttercream piped on top.

“Yeokshi our hyung always have a good memory. It’s such a blessing to have a good memory like you, don’t you think so, hyung?” Sejun said in amazement then continued to tend to their customer on the phone.

Seungwoo smiled a faint smile. True, he had a good memory, an amazing one indeed, he was able to remember all the cake recipes, the ingredients and accurate measurement - which helped him a lot in his field of work. He remembered every customer's favourite cake, every customer's face. He remembered everything.

Everything.

And he never forgets. 

He could still remembered what drama aired on TV in March 2015, what ingredients he bought for his cafe on the first Monday last month, and what food was on the table for breakfast on 17th November 2009. 

And the memories of his first love - Seungyoun. Seungyoun's smile, Seungyoun's first ever word to him, Seungyoun's high-pitched laugh that made him smile everytime. Then came the painful memories - how cold it was that night, how the snow looked like from the window when he and Seungyoun broke up, how Seungyoun's lips trembled while saying goodbye, and how stupid he was for not holding onto Seungyoun.

It hurts. So much.

I wish I could erase them all.

I wish I could forget everything.

"Emm excuse me? I'm sorry to disturb you, but I'm Seungsik, the one you called just now? The diary..." 

Seungwoo looked up, the buttercream was messily piped on the cake because his mind was somewhere else, and now in front of him was a man around his age, blonde hair, with soft eyes and beautifully carved lips. 

It was the man who came to his bakery almost everyday, who came and ordered the same menu everytime he was here - butterscotch pecan cake and iced peach tea. He was usually beaming with smiles, calm and composed but today he looked nervous and his eyes were shaking. And beside him was someone Seungwoo never met before, a bit smaller than this Seungsik guy, with black hair and round eyes. He introduced himself as Chan. 

"Oh it was your diary? Let me wash my hands and get it for you. Just a moment," said Seungwoo while he ran to the sink, hurriedly wash his hands and ran back to the counter where he picked up the diary from the drawer. 

Seungsik nervously grabbed the diary from Seungwoo's hand while thanking him and Chan, who was at his side thanked Seungwoo with a nod and a smile, showing his deep dimples.

"So would you like your usuals today too?" Seungwoo asked, turning to Seungsik.

The man was taken aback, he looked like he was signalling Chan for help.

"We're uh, kinda in a hurry. Thanks for your help in keeping the diary safe." Chan winked at him then grabbed his hand for a handshake and the next thing he knew Chan was already dragging Seungsik out from the cafe.

"Seungwoo hyung! Wasn't that the pecan butterscotch guy? Why did he looked so unfamiliar with this place? And with you?" Sejun asked while tapping Seungwoo's shoulder. He had been watching them from behind the coffee machine.

Seungwoo's gaze was still on the door, puzzled, "Yeah, it's him. Something's definitely not right."