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Chapter Text

‘This is it’, Harry thought.

‘This is the end. This is the end. This is the end. This is the end. This is the end.’

It was the end. Not of the world. Not of the battle. Not of the deaths. In fact, it would just be one more death on the headcount of the battle. It was just the end of his life.

‘Maybe it’s better like this’, Harry chuckled at his own thoughts. At the end it wasn’t up to him or Voldemort, it was all up to Dumbledore. Dumbledore played them all and won. He played behind the scenes for the whole time, maybe ever since that night, sixteen years ago, when he was left on the Dursleys’ step. Did he already know that he would be treated worse than a house elf there? Sure, it’s not like he was severely abused as a child, but he was old enough to understand that the way he was treated there was not normal, at best it was neglectful and borderline abusive. No child should sleep in a cupboard for ten years. No child should feel to worth less than a servant in his own house. Hell! He was the bloody Boy-Who-Lived! He was already robbed of his parents at the age of one, they should have at least made sure he had a good childhood, or a childhood at least.

‘And maybe that was the point’. He went to Hogwarts not knowing anything about his parents, his heritage, his godfather, or magic, thinking he wasn’t worth anything he was given. The whole wizarding world thought he was somewhere being pampered and treated like a prince, while he went to sleep crying almost every night, hoping that somebody, anybody, came to take him away. Asking himself why he had survived the accident that took away the only family who loved him.

Family. Yes, that same family that was taken from him not once, not twice, but now three times. His parents, Sirius and Remus were the only ones to always love without reservations. The only ones whose love he never doubted. Yes, he had friends. Good friends, who stood by him in his most desperate times, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t that same unconditional love he always craved for. And now he was going to lose them too. Because either way now it was a choice between his life and theirs, and he would never live through another loss, he wouldn’t survive it. At the end it wasn’t a choice at all. He was just following a path already made for him by the man he thought had his best interest at heart.

Resentment and realization started to fill his heart. Severus Snape, the man that belittled and tortured him from his first day at Hogwarts, loved his mother and died, hated by everyone on the light side, to protect him. And he was so angry, on Harry’s behalf and for himself, when Dumbledore revealed to him the last stem in his plan.  He wasted almost twenty years of his life to make sure he lived when in reality he was just raised as a pig for slaughter.

Everyone that truly loved him was already gone, so why wait anymore? He would soon meet them again.

He made move to go outside of the headmaster’s office, when he suddenly stopped.

‘Will they understand why I am doing this? Will they hate me for going without saying anything?’ Harry thought. If he was going to do this, at least he owed them a goodbye and an explanation.

Harry blinked away a few tears and stared rummaging in the headmaster’s desk to find a spare parchment. He didn’t care anymore for decorum as he threw objects out of the way, just focused on his mission to end everything as soon as possible. Time was running short.

“Harry, my boy…” Dumbledore’s portrait started.

“No. Don’t say anything. I’m not your boy. Never was.” Harry replied shortly as he found a spare parchment in a drawer.

“You have to understand…” continued Dumbledore.

“Oh, I understand everything. You USED me. You USED Snape. You used us just like you used the Order, without ever going on the front line unless necessary, playing everyone from the side-lines. Don’t waste any breath, I don’t have any more time to waste on you. You should know what I’m about to do” Harry spat.

Dumbledore looked at him sadly and nodded.

Harry took a shaky breath, picked a quill and started to write the last letter he would write to his friends.

When he finished he quickly closed it with a spell to make sure it wouldn’t be read by the wrong people, recollected Snape’s memories and put them together with the letter, tying them up with a piece of cloth from his shirt.

As he stepped outside of the office his heart was pumping so loudly in his ears that he didn’t even notice the soft “I’m sorry” whispered by one of the portraits.

Chapter Text

Harry felt numb as he descended the stairs toward the exit of the castle. None of the portraits he encountered were inhabited, they had all probably gone in the areas where the survivors had gone, to find out what happened. Harry really didn’t want to return to the Great Hall, he didn’t want to talk to anyone or explain what was going to happen. If he saw his friends and…

‘No.’  Harry thought. He felt like the biggest coward in the whole universe, but he didn’t want to see them. If he did… it would be just more painful for everyone. It was best to just feel the loss just once. But how was he going to give them the letter if he didn’t meet them.

‘You’re a wizard, Harry’ he told himself, he could use a spell to make it float towards his friends, or could he use an owl? No, there was no time to go to the owlery and Hedwig… she was gone too. Spell it is, he decided. As he was wondering whether using a Wingardium Leviosa would be the best choice to avoid his friends, he noticed there was someone at the bottom of the stairs. Neville was there, with Seamus, helping to move the bodies of the fallen in the Great Hall. Time was running quickly, there was no time to take another path to avoid them, he would have to use his Gryffindor courage and face them.

“Harry! There you are!” Neville seemed genuinely relieved to see him, his face was covered in blood and ashes but his smile was the same as the little kid he had met for the first time on the Hogwarts Express six years before.

“We need to organize a plan for when the hour is up, you should come with us in the Great Hall.” His expression turned grave all of a sudden, his eyes lost their brightness as he turned towards Seamus and the body they were carrying. A small body. The body of a person he once knew, he once talked with… He gulped and looked away from the remains of Colin Creevey. Colin, sweet Colin, who followed him like a puppy during his second year. Colin, who took photos of everyone and every year, at the end of term, before everyone went away, and left copies of them on the beds of those captured in his photos. Colin, who was young, too young to die. Colin who could have lived if Harry had been warned or informed of everything that Dumbledore had been scheming.

“No, I have to do something before then. I will join you later.” Harry felt uncomfortable lying like this. He looked between them and tried to say something else, but the words felt struck in his throat.

“Neville…” he tried.

“Look, Neville.” Seamus nodded at him “I’m going ahead alone; he is light enough to carry on my own and I want to look for Dean before everything goes to hell once again” as he said this, Seamus lifted colin on his shoulder, waved them goodbye and left.

Harry took a breath and tried again.

“Neville, I need you to do something” Harry gulped “In case… in case… me, Ron or Hermione can’t, I need to know there is someone else that knows”.

“Does this have to do with what you three were doing earlier this year?” Neville asked.

“Yes… Well, yes. I don’t have time to explain everything, the hour is almost up” Harry looked anxiously at his watch and then back at his friend “Kill the snake.”

“The… snake?” Neville looked confused.

“Yes, he calls it Nagini, it’s always with him. It’s really important that we kill it. After… after I… do what I have to do… it’s just the snake and then we can kill him for good. It’s our only chance, do you understand?” Emerald eyes met the blue ones. Neville nodded and Harry knew there was only one more thing to do. He took the envelope from his robe with shaking hands.

“Can I ask you just one more favour? Give this to Ron and Hermione. They will know what to do and explain everything. Now I really have to go.” Neville nodded again and took the thick envelope containing his last words to his friends and the memories of Severus Snape.

Harry smiled at his friend “You’re a great friend, Neville” he said. And with that he turned towards the entrance, toward the forest, and walked away never looking back. The letter was in good hands.

Chapter Text

As Harry walked toward the edge forest, the sky was starting to become more and more light, as day took over night. As a new day and hope took over the terror and nightmare of the last few hours. It was almost poetic the way the castle, as destroyed as it was, was still beautiful with the first few rays of sunlight. But the forest was still very dark and scary, as if a line was drawn between the ‘light side’ resisting in the castle and the ‘dark side’ of invaders waiting in the forest to bring more death and destruction.

Hopefully just two more deaths and little more destruction.

‘Just me, the snake, then Him and it will be over’ Harry continued to repeat in his mind ‘They will be safe, it’s the only way… I have to die’. And then Harry realized. Dumbledore knew from the start, or maybe just from second year, that he was a Horcrux, that he had to die. Neither can live while the other survives.  If he thought carefully, after the Chamber of Secrets incident the headmaster had even directly told him he had a piece of Voldemort in him, a piece that gave him the ability to talk to snakes and dragons, the piece that made it possible to see ahead of Voldemort’s plans, the piece that had allowed him to be tricked into killing his own godfather.

I open at the closure.

Of course, the hint was there all this time. The remainder of the shortness of his life was always in his pocket. So nice of Dumbledore to leave it to him. Was this a hint he should have understood before? Or was this something he should have known only when it was too late to do anything else, at the end… at the closure. Harry continued to walk as he took the golden snitch from his pocket, brought it to his lips and whispered, “I’m going to die”. The snitch suddenly became warm and it opened revealing a little black stone with a symbol on top. The symbol of the Deathly Hollows. The resurrection stone was cold compared to the warmth of the snitch and the young man trembled as he turned the object three times in his hand.

And there they were. All young and beautiful and less tired, stressed and hunted than they ever were. Harry stopped in his walk to look at them, his eyes filled with tears. There they were, the Marauders and his mother, looking with proud and sad eyes at their son and nephew as he walked to his death, soon to meet them again.

Harry’s eyes automatically locked with his mothers, “We’re so proud of you, Harry” she said “You became such a brave, kind and responsible young man, you couldn’t have done things any better, any of us would have perished long before this, but you kept going.” She looked like she wanted to cry. Could ghosts cry anyway? Were they ghosts? Shadows? Not that it mattered. They were there. With him.

Sirius was smiling sadly at him. “I’m sorry” Harry blurted out. “I’m sorry you all had to die because of me… Sirius, you had just regained a bit of freedom… Remus, you just had your son… I’m so sorry. You could have lived your lives if I had died sooner”.

“I don’t regret anything, you know. Just knowing you were safe made it worth it. We did it because we love you.” James looked so young, and being at a closer age to Harry, they almost looked like twins.

“Teddy will know why we did it. Others will tell him the reasons we fought this war and that we loved, and still love him very much. We will look over him from somewhere else, just like your parents did, but he will not be alone. He will be loved and know he was loved. It will be worth it.” Remus said.

Harry started to walk again, now time was really against him. He wanted to be selfish and spend more time with his family, but he knew he would meet them soon.

“Does it hurt? Dying?” Harry felt incredibly childish as he asked this, his voice just above a whisper, but as the time grew closer fear was clawing at his heart, which was beating wildly, like it knew it would be his last beats.

Sirius chuckled, “No, it’s faster and easier than falling asleep. You won’t even notice it”. Harry let go of the breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “Will you stay with me? Until the end?”.

“Always” his mother whispered.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, his family surrounding him and giving him strength. They were like his own, personal, and secret Patronus, protecting him and giving him a little hope that he wouldn’t go alone, here and on the other side too.

As they approached the Death Eaters, he listened to them as Voldemort complained about how he was so sure Harry would come. He knew the noble little prat; he wouldn’t let others die for him. He was so sure he would come he seemed sincerely disappointed. As if the idea of killing more people in the castle to reach him didn’t appease him.

Harry took a shaking breath. He let go of the stone, he didn’t want anyone else to find it, especially the Death Eaters. The shadows of his family disappeared but he knew he wasn’t alone. They said they would stay with him until the end.

He kept walking as he took off the invisibility cloak and hid it inside his robes, selfishly keeping the familiar cloth close to him. He didn’t even bother pulling his wand out.

Finally, the Death Eaters noticed him and his enemy too.

“HARRY! NO!” Hagrid was there, tied to a tree. His huge body was fighting the restraints. One of the Death Eaters silenced him with a spell. 

“Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, came to die.” this time, Voldemort wasted no time, no silly monologues or waste of other words would keep him from finally achieving his objective.

“Avada Kedavra”

‘This is it’ Harry thought as the green light hit his chest. His last thoughts were of Charlie, his Charlie and his flaming red hair, and his freckles, and his scars, and his lips on his, relieving the memory of their first, only and last kiss and the feeling of belonging he felt back then… then everything went black.

Chapter Text

2^nd May, 1998

Dear Hermione, Ron and Weasley family,

If you’re reading this, it means that I’m probably already into the forest, if not already dead. I’m sorry I had to do it like this, but I didn’t have time to explain and convince you that what I am doing is necessary, and frankly, I didn’t have the courage to face you all. I know how much you care about me and you would have tried to find another solution and keep me from going. But we have a mission. We can’t afford anymore time wasted or people sacrificed.

I was so caught up in everything that was happening that I didn’t even think to leave a will, which is funny considering that I never thought I would survive this war. And I was right. I have to die because there was a reason why I could read his thoughts, why I could read and feel his moods, why I could speak parseltongue. If you didn’t already get it, I will explain. The night Voldemort came to kill me and my parents, he already had five horcruxes, that night he was probably planning to make his last, that way there would be seven pieces of his soul. But when everything went wrong that night, and his body destroyed, his soul was already so damaged that it split without him even noticing it. And that piece attached itself to the only living being in that house. Me.

Now do you understand why I have to do what I’m about to do? There is no other way. Neither can live while the other survives, but at the end none of us will be alive. And Dumbledore knew it all along and used me like a tool, leaving all the dirty work to us, only to discard me when it was most convenient for him.

And Snape- Snape did everything he could to protect us. Protect me. And was played by Dumbledore like I was. I enclosed in this letter the memories he left me, please watch them, and help me clear his name. He was a war hero and deserves to be recognised.

I don’t have the time to thank everybody I want for everything they did for me. I will be eternally grateful to the Weasley family for showing me love and support from the first moment they met me. I know I didn’t say it often, but I love you all.

Especially Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, thank you for being the parents I never had.

Charlie, I fell in love with you in fourth year and you were so strong and kind, and when I talked to you, I felt like I finally belonged somewhere. Your letters probably saved me from going insane during fifth and sixth year, and you were so patient and understanding. I know you will be surprised reading this. I never had either the chance or the courage to confess my feelings, but I wanted you to know, that you were the only person I ever truly loved that way. The kiss we shared at Bill’s wedding was not alcohol induced like you probably thought. I was serious, and it was probably the best moment of my life. Thank you, thank you for giving me the chance of sometimes being a normal teenager in love, thank you for being there for me when I needed it.

Ron, Hermione, you are the best friends a guy could ever want. We went through so much together, and you were there in all of the happy memories I made at Hogwarts, but also in the tough times and during those moments you were the glue keeping me together, keeping me from falling apart. Words can’t even express how grateful I am to have had the honour to get to know you two. You were the brother and sister I never had. I love you.

Please tell Ginny, George, Bill, Fleur, Hagrid, Neville, and Luna that I loved them too, that I really appreciated their support and their advice, they were good friends.

Lastly, I would like to ask you to bring this letter to Gringotts, and tell them to consider this my last will and testament, even if it is not officially made with them:

I, Harry James Potter, being of sound mind and fully understanding the nature and extent of all my property, do hereby declare this letter to be my only and Last Will and Testament.

I leave all of my money and properties inherited from the Black family and Sirius Black's will and half of the value of the Potter family vaults to Edward Remus Lupin, as my godson and only heir. Ron, Hermione, please be there for him like I would be. Be his family, support him and tell him all of the stories about his parents and me. Tell him he was and is loved. Don’t let him be just another orphan of the war, let him gain a family. When he is old enough, give him my father’s cloak and the Marauders’ Map, it’s his heritage.

The other half of the Potter money and estates will be split between the Weasley Family and Hermione. See for yourselves how to split it, I trust you all to do it evenly and to use it wisely. All of my other personal items will go to Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.

Please don’t make a grand parade out of my funeral. I would like something small and intimate, just between family and close friends, and to be put to rest together with my parents and Sirius in Godric’s Hollow.

Don’t grieve too long and don’t be too sad for me, I will not be alone. My family is waiting for me.

Thank you. I’m sorry. I love you.

Harry James Potter

---ooo---ooo---ooo---

When Hermione finished the letter, she was in tears and could hardly breathe. For the first time in her life she was at a loss for words. Her heart was shattered, her brain was numb. Ron was still reading over her shoulder and his face was ashen, his eyes also full of tears as he read the last words of this best friend, his heart beating hard against his chest, which felt like he was about to explode.

“No… please… tell me it’s not true.”

Neville was watching them carefully and judging from their reactions he understood all this ‘letter business’ was about. “It’s his last will isn’t it?”.

“What?” Ginny suddenly turned around from her mother’s embrace and approached the small group of frinds “What are you talking about?”.

“I saw him earlier, near the entrance. He was really pale and shaken.” Neville continued “He told me to kill the snake” Hermione and Ron’s heads turned up sharply.

“Did he tell you why?” Ginny asked, she was confused.

“He told me it was needed, that it would help destroy Voldemort” Neville took a breath “… and then he gave me the letter.” He chocked up and looked at them misty-eyed.

“Please tell me it’s not his last will that he made me deliver.”

Ginny took a sharp breath as a hand went to her mouth. “No. He wouldn’t.”

“He did” Hermione said between her sobs, and then launched herself to openly sob in Ron’s embrace as he cried silently, stroking her hair and looking toward the open doors of the Great Hall with a void look, as if expecting Harry to suddenly run inside telling them it was all a joke.

“Why?” Ginny whispered, now she was crying too, and people were starting to notice something was wrong with the small group of friends.

“To save us all” Ron answered and gestured with his free arm for his sister to join in the hug. The three of them remained like that for a while, crying and holding each other, trying to comfort the others even when they thought they reached the maximum level of pain and grief possible for humans, until their family approached, noticing that their reaction was not only because of the grief for the deaths already happened.

Bill was the first to ask what happened and Ron and Hermione didn’t know where to begin explaining. They were still crying and babbling incoherent sentences when Charlie finally interrupted them. There was only one reason why they would be this much shaken, and he really hoped his hunch was wrong.

“Where is Harry?” the silence that followed his question was louder than any explanation.

“No…” Charlie choked. This could not be. No. NO. NO. NO. This wasn’t happening, it was just a nightmare. He couldn’t lose Harry. Not after Fred. His heart couldn’t bear the loss of another person he loved. Not so soon, not before he could confess his feelings, not before he could kiss him one last time. He was probably going to have a panic attack or black out if it wasn’t for the strong arms of his big brother holding him up. Charlie locked eyes with Ron, his younger brother that was so strong and brave, and had gone through hell and worse together with Harry and was shattered by the grief in them. Ron unlocked himself from Hermione’s and Ginny’s grip, took the letter from his girlfriends’ hands and silently gave it to Charlie. “You deserve to read it first” were his only words.

By the time he finished the letter he was openly crying, and the rest of his family had finally understood what was happening. Harry was gone, gone, gone, gone, gone. He was somewhere where he could not reach him and tell him how much he had loved him, how much he still loved him. Every sound around him was muffled and alien. His brain couldn’t register anymore what the others were telling him as his only thought right now was that he was gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

Until a cold and raspy voice resonated in the hall, shaking everyone from the core.

“Harry Potter is dead”.

Chapter Text

When Harry regained his senses, he noticed he was laying face down on a strange surface. He got up and looked around. White. Everything was so clean and white; from the ceiling to the floor, to the point Harry doubted there were any walls at all, it was like everything was connected, like there was no need for borders. Then he noticed he was completely naked and even his glasses were gone, but he could see normally.

‘Well, not like it matters anyway’ Harry thought, as he wondered where he was. Was he in heaven? It was not like he deserved it.  Then, was he in hell? Condemned to pass the rest of eternity alone in a really white and clean version of Kings Cross? Now, that was really depressing.

He heard a noise. It was a raspy cry of agony; a foreign sound is such a peaceful environment. He turned around to find the source of the noise. There was a bundle a few feet away from him, inside of it there was a strange, red, wrinkled creature which was crying and writhing like it was in a lot of pain.

It scared him, all he wanted was to get away from it, and for the first time in that strange hell he wished he had clothes. As soon as he thought that, clean clothes appeared on him. Strange.

He made a step to move toward the strange creature, ready to jump back at any time, when a familiar voice made him stop on his tracks.

“You can’t help it.” Harry turned around so sharply that he almost sprained his neck, if that could happen to a dead person, that is.

“You’re here” he whispered in an awed tone.

James nodded and smiled fondly at him. Then he opened his arms in a welcoming gesture and Harry ran to him, slamming himself in his father’s chest and hugging him like his life depended on it. Harry had dreamed of this moment ever since he was a young child, when he was crying for someone to take him from his cupboard. Back then, he dreamed his aunt Petunia had lied about his parents dying in a car accident, and that they were only in a coma and soon they would wake up and take him away. He would daydream for hours, when he was locked inside for long periods of time, about how his relatives would react to his parents returning, and how he would welcome them. But that was all a dream. The dream of a naïve child raised by monsters. And now it was real. He could feel and smell and touch his father.

“I’m sorry I came alone, son” James’ voice wavered a little, full of emotion “Your mother and Sirius also wanted to come, but only one was allowed… be sure that they are letting hell loose up there” he chuckled and finally let go of his son to get a good look at him.

“Up there?” Harry was confused “There, where? Am I not dead? Isn’t this heaven if you’re here?”

“Well… not really, it’s difficult to explain what this place is. You can just think of it as something like a waiting room.” James scratched his head “Maybe I wasn’t the best choice to do this explanation.”

“There was a choice on who would welcome me to the afterlife?”

“Yeah, well, originally Dumbledore had to come”

“Ah” Harry didn’t know what to say. Would his father be mad if he insulted the ex-headmaster in front of him?

“But your mother hexed him when she saw Severus die and your reaction to his memories in his office”

“WHAT? You saw that?” Harry blushed, he wasn’t really proud of lashing at Dumbledore, but that didn’t change his feelings about the situation as a whole.

“That and a lot of other things” then James laughed and winked at him “we can’t see everything everywhere, but sometimes, when something significant happens to our dear ones we are allowed to see.”

James sighed and continued “I’m sorry you had to go through all that, Harry, we only wanted the best for you”

“I know, I’m just glad we can be together now” Harry smiled affectionately at his father, but the other looked at him strangely.

“Harry, you’re not dead… well, not yet”.

Harry blinked a few times. So, it wasn’t over? Of course, he couldn’t even die normally.

“But I died. I let him kill me, so that the part of his soul that was in me would be destroyed.”

“Exactly. So now your soul is whole again, and all yours, Harry” James’ proud smile was so big at his point, Harry thought his mouth would rip “You were very brave, even without us to guide you, you become such a good man, we are so proud of you. Lily is always bragging about you.”

“But still, he used the Avada Kedavra on me, and nobody died for me this time, so I must be dead.”

“Technically yes. But Harry, think about it, what happened in the graveyard?”

Harry really didn’t understand where this was going, but he answered anyway “He took my blood…” and then it clicked. “My blood has mum’s protection in it, I’m tied to his life as long as he lives!”.

“Yes! That was really stupid of him, he has many enemies, but he had to be arrogant and take the blood of the one and only person he shouldn’t have. It was the second big mistake that would lead to his fall” James said smugly.

“What was the first?”

“Easy, he shouldn’t have believed and acted on the base of a vague prophecy. If he didn’t, he would have continued to terrorize England for years. Our family would have survived that night, but we wouldn’t have lived long anyway. At that point we were already losing the war.”

“So, in the end, it wasn’t a power I had that he didn’t know, that would win. It was just his mistakes.” Harry whispered “I had no control over anything that happened”.

James hugged him and started to stoke his hair in a soothing move “No, Harry” he said, his voice quiet and smooth, as if he was telling his a night time story “You do have something he doesn’t have. Something he doesn’t understand. Respect and love should not be underestimated. Harry, people follow you because they respect and love you, they respect the friend and the man that would do anything for them, even die. Do you think any of the Death Eaters, apart from the insane ones, would ever give their lives to save their ‘Lord’. No, they are just cowards, hiding behind a back bigger than theirs. The moment they will realise they are losing; they will not think twice about abandoning him again. And that is why you have to go back, son, you need to finish what you started, only this way you will have a chance at being happy”.

“Do I need to go back?”

“It’s your choice, Harry-”

“Then I want to stay. I want to stay with you, and mum, and Sirius and Remus, this way I will be happy”.

James smiled sadly at him “We would love to have you with us, but now it’s too soon, you still have a lot to fight for, to live for.”

Harry’s eyes started to gloss over “I don’t know-” he choked “-I don’t know how to be happy, not without you, not without my family”.

Now they were both crying and holding onto each other “You will, son. I’m sure of it. There are many people that love you and will love you in the future. You still have that chance, don’t waste it. And when the time will come, and you will be ready to meet again, then we will be together forever.” James kissed his temple, and lingered there for a second, before detaching himself and looking at eyes of his son, giving him encouraging nod.

Harry hesitated only for a moment, and then he agreed “All right, how do I do it?”

James shrugged “I guess you just have to want it.”

Harry closed his eyes and hugged his father one last time “Thank you. I love you, dad.”

Everything went black and he felt himself fading, but he still heard the last words of his father, together with a feeling of safety and warmth.

“We will watch over you. I love you, son.”

He was not alone.

Chapter Text

A cold and raspy voice resonated in the hall, shaking everyone from the core.

“Harry Potter is dead”.

If the people around him could hear the sound of Charlie’s heart breaking, it probably would have been enough to make everyone in the room deaf. He felt his body sagging against the strong chest of his brother Bill, who was supporting him since he finished reading the damned letter. He felt as if his heart was gone, as if there was a hole in his chest that was constricting his lungs. He couldn’t breathe.

Harry was gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

All of the people in the Great Hall started pushing their way toward the entrance of the castle, McGonagall leading everyone else outside to find out if it was real. No one could believe it.

Ron and Hermione hesitated for a few seconds and exchanged a tearful glance, before following the rest of the family outside. Charlie understood their need to confirm it, because the situation was so alien, so unexpected that if it wasn’t for the wrinkled letter still held in his hands, even he wouldn’t believe it. But it was real. Harry was gone. The proof was right there. And that didn’t make it easier.

No. it was not easy at all. Charlie took a step back.

“I can’t” he chocked. His breathing was harsh and erratic. His heart beating so wildly he was feeling it in his throat. His vision was starting to fill with black spots. Every sound was muffled and unclear.

“Charlie!”

Harry was gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

“Charlie! Breathe!”

The force of the slap startled Charlie. Bill was looking at him, face full of grief and worry. Charlie now realised he was sitting on the ground, his older brother hovering over him protectively. He tried to calm his breathing and closed his eyes. He couldn’t collapse now. His family needed him.

“Charlie, I know it’s difficult, but we need to go.”

“I know… I just…” Charlie let out a strangled gasp “I never told him, Bill”. His brothers’ eyes widened slightly and then understanding flooded them.

“Since when?”

Charlie looked away; he could not dare to look at the pity in Bill’s eyes, now that his secret was out at the worst time possible. There was no time for self-pity and despair when just outside of the hall people had probably just started fighting and dying again.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s over anyway” he cut short. Charlie shrugged Bill’s hand away from his shoulder and started to walk toward the Entrance Hall. The enraged shouts they were hearing from outside just a minute ago were going quiet and the sight that welcomed them outside the castle made his blood freeze.

Neville was in front of the people defending the castle, speaking to everyone. Both sides listening to him, with a mixture of determination and awe from their allies and sneering from the Death Eaters side. But Charlie didn’t understand a word of what was said. His eyes were fixed on Hagrid and the bundle in his arms. Harry laid there in his huge arms, cradled like a small baby, his eyes were closed and his glasses askew. His clothes were covered in dirt and blood, but it didn’t look like it was much worse than it was an hour ago when he last saw him in the Great Hall. It looked as if he was asleep. Charlie briefly closed his eyes and prayed that at least it was fast and painless for him. And suddenly it was as if all his pain, despair and grief were washed away as a new feeling started creeping in him.

Anger.

Anger for Harry, so young and brave and loyal. Anger for his brother, half of a soul that would never be whole again. Anger for the castle, his home for seven years turned into a burning ruin. Anger for all the young men and women fighting for their lives at a time when they should only be worried about exams, Quidditch matches and love crushes. Anger was burning so hot in his veins, that Charlie felt like he was melting.

Neville had stopped talking. He took a sword out of the Sorting Hat and with a raging shout he slashed Voldemort’s snake. That was all Charlie needed to lash out his rage at the nearest Death Eater.

He was never the best at duelling skills, he had taken his NEWT in DADA only to appease his mother as he already knew he wanted to work with magical creatures, and at that time the war was long forgotten and gone, but with his job he had to learn spells strong enough to knock out a dragon, and dragon hide was not used in military gear for nothing. The dangerous spells used by dragon trainers on the magical creatures were only used in extreme circumstances as a means of self-defence in case one of them got too aggressive and stunning spells were not working. They all were required to make an oath not to use those spells on either creatures or humans unless the circumstances called for life and death situations where the speller would die unless used. Before today he was never in a situation where he was forced to use them, and even before the ‘One hour truce’ he had hesitated to do it. But now, all caution blown in the wind, he didn’t work with complex spells and strategy. No, he didn’t even bother with shields and defence spells. He was all out on attack mode, lashing his magic at every enemy that dared to cross his path. If anything to go by, he probably resembled an enraged mother dragon protecting his hatchlings.

He found himself once again in the Great Hall, fighting his way through the last Death Eaters in the castle.

When he saw the green light of the killing curse passing an inch from his sister’s hair he lost the last bit of control he still retained. He spelled his mother and Ginny away from Bellatrix and started to viciously attack the witch, who was not expecting such a fierce counter-attack from the sides. The duel was brief. Bellatrix was so smug and arrogant she still tried to taunt him. He didn’t hesitate when landing the final blow. Bellatrix fell, her gloating smile still impressed on her face.

The crowd reared. Voldemort screamed, he saw what happened and had his wand already pointed at Charlie, ready to avenge the last of his loyal lieutenants. Charlie wondered briefly if it would be worth it to be killed while trying to duel Voldemort alone, when even McGonagall, Slughorn and Kingsley had to team together to have a chance at him.

Of course, it would be worth it. For Harry. He thought. He was about to attack, spell already on his lips, when he heard someone shout “PROTEGO!”. The shield charm expanded in the middle of the hall and everyone, Voldemort included, turned to watch as someone took off an invisibility cloak.

“Harry!”

“HE’S ALIVE”

“HARRY”

Yells of shock, cheers and screams flooded in the hall, but Charlie was shocked still. He couldn’t find the voice to join his family and friends in the cheering because while he couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that Harry was standing in front of him, and he also understood the scene before him for what it was: the final battle. The next few minutes or hours would make wizarding history for better or for worse.

The spark of hope that was starting to fill his hear was once again replaced by dread.

“I don’t want anyone else to try to help” Harry said loudly. It was enough to make everyone quiet, like the call of a general. Harry and Voldemort started to slowly circle each other, like animals ready to strike the prey, each taunting the other with remarks about sacrifices, love, Dumbledore manipulations (what was that about?), horcruxes (what was that, a disease?) and wands. No one around Charlie seemed to understand what was being said apart from Hermione, whose eyes were bright with understanding. With each remark Voldemort lost more and more of his cool, twitching with anger, while Harry continued with a calm demeanour, explaining things like he was talking with a stubborn child having a tantrum. And then he said what triggered Voldemort to reach the last straw: “I am the true master of the Elder Wand”. As those words were said, the first ray of sunlight appeared over the still of the window nearest to Harry. Like a signal, the light hit both of their faces at the same time, and suddenly they were both shouting:

“Avada kedavra!”

“Expelliarmus!”

A deafening noise shook though the Great Hall and golden flames erupted in the centre of the circle they had been treading. Charlie’s heart was beating wildly as he watched the spells collide, as Voldemort’s body hit the floor, as Harry caught the other’s wand with the grace of a skilled Seeker and just stood there in shock, looking at the shrunken body of the monster that hunted him his whole life.

The silence lasted only a few more seconds, and then everything around Charlie exploded as cheers, screams and roars of the witnesses rent the air. Suddenly everyone was running toward Harry, trying to hug him, touch him, give him a pat on the shoulder or just thank the Boy Who Lived for the incredible action of getting rid of everyone’s biggest nightmare.

Charlie stood back for a while, trying to regain his breath and slow down his heartbeat, then he started to make his way toward his family and friends all huddled against the poor boy, who really seemed overwhelmed.

“Hey! Let him breathe a bit, will you?” He shouted. Harry’s head suddenly snapped in his direction, their eyes locked and he blushed. Harry Potter was looking at him and blushing.

“Let’s try not to choke him to death right after he resurrected, okay?” A few people backed off at the stern remark. Harry smiled and mouthed “Thank you”, bright emerald eyes still locked on his blue ones.

---ooo---ooo---ooo---

They magically moved Voldemort’s body away and laid it in a chamber far from the Hall, away from the bodies of Fred, Tonks, Lupin, Colin Creevey and others who had died fighting his army. McGonagall had replaced the house tables, but nobody was sitting according to the house system anymore: they were all jumbled together, teachers and students, ghosts and parents, centaurs and house-elves.

Charlie sat in silence with Bill on what would have been the Hufflepuff table, eating slowly and trying to come to terms with how much happened in the last 12 hours. Ginny was near them, her head on their mother’s shoulder as she slowly stroked her hair in a soothing motion.

He startled when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“It’s me” said a familiar voice. “Will you come with me?”

Charlie remembered about the Invisibility Cloak, nodded toward the void between him and Bill, stood up and slowly made his way though people and tables to leave the Great Hall.

When they reached an empty classroom, Harry took off his cloak and sighed “I needed some peace and quiet”

“I guess if I were you, I’d be the same” Charlie smiled tiredly and looked at the younger boy “You really know how to give people heart attacks, don’t you?”

Harry grimaced and shrugged “Trouble always finds me”, then he looked weirdly at him and muttered something incoherent. “Didyoureadtheletter?”

“What?”

Harry fidgeted a little and bit his lip in an adorable way.

“Ron and Hermione told me they got the letter”

“Ah. That.” Charlie suddenly didn’t know what to say. Harry looked so small and insecure right now, nothing like the proud hero of a few hours before. Did he regret what he wrote about him in the letter he still had in his pocket? Did almost dyeing make him change his mind? Did he realise Charlie was too old for him? Charlie really didn’t want to overwhelm the boy.

“Yes, I read it”

An uncomfortable silence settled between them until Harry cleared his voice and looked at him with a new determination set in his eyes.

“Everything I wrote is true. I know you probably don’t feel the same and just see me as a little brother, but I thought I was dying so I wanted you to know that what happened at Bill’s wedding wasn’t a mistake, I really meant it…”

Charlie held his breath and looked at Harry with shock, relief flooding though him.

“…and I know that letter will make it awkward between us and I don’t want that. I shouldn’t have written it in the first place, but I was not brave enough to face you all in person and then there was no time and--”

Charlie couldn’t stand a second longer hearing the boy rambling and stumbling over his own words, took a step forward, closing the space between them and crushing his lips against the other’s, successfully shutting him up. He felt Harry gasp and after a few seconds, tentatively responding to the kiss, so he took it as a sign to deepen the kiss, and to wrap one arm around his waist, the other going to his cheek, stroking it slowly with a thumb as they each hungrily explored each other.

Charlie didn’t know how much they stayed locked together like that, but when they broke the kiss they were both out of breath and flushed. Charlie held his forehead against Harry’s, not wanting to break the contact “You will be the death of me” he breathed. Harry chuckled.

“I was in denial for a long time, you know?” Charlie explained “You were underage, and much younger than me, and you were my brother’s best friend. After the First Task, when you wrote to me for the first time, I was so happy. Back then you were only fourteen, and I was just so happy to get to know the real you through the letters. And then when I saw you next, the summer before your sixth year, you had grown up a lot and I realised I was starting to feel attracted to you, but you were still underage and sixteen, so I pretend nothing was wrong. Last summer, when you kissed me, at first I thought I was hallucinating, that it was just another of my fantasies” Harry leaned forward and kissed him again, as if to reinforce that it was real. Very, very real- Charlie broke the kiss to continue, now or never, he told himself.

“And then you were gone, and I was so confused and worried and suddenly age didn’t really matter anymore in my head. Then I started to really accept that…” Charlie took a breath “I had fallen in love with you.”

“I’m glad I wrote that letter” Harry whispered, his lips brushing against Charlie’s “I would have never gathered the courage to confess my feelings otherwise. I guess knowing I was going to die helped ease a bit of that fear”

“I’m glad you’re alive. When I thought you were dead, I broke down. I think I went a bit crazy”

“Yeah, I’m glad I chose to come back”

“Come back? What do you mean…?”

“I really died in the forest”

Charlie gasped and gripped Harry’s waist with a little more force “What do you mean?” he repeated.

“It’s a long story” Harry sighed.

“But you’re okay, right?” Charlie asked desperately.

Harry pecked his lips again “Yeah, I think so. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere”

“Good” Charlie let himself relax in the embrace, letting his cheek rest against the younger boy’s head “We have all the time in the world”.