Chapter Text
Buck stood outside the entrance to the firehouse, leaning back against his Jeep with his mouth covered securely by his elbow, unable to stop coughing. He leaned down slightly with one last hacking exhale before standing straight with a groan, a hand rubbing up and down his chest. He was so busy trying to keep his lungs within the vicinity of his chest cavity that he didn’t notice Eddie walk up beside him with their usual morning brew. He placed the to-go carton on top of the Jeep before rubbing a hand up and down his best friend’s back, gently tapping in order to expel whatever was stuck in the younger man’s throat.
“You alright man?” Eddie asked, causing Buck to nod absentmindedly even though he was clearly not fine.
“I’m alright, I just can’t seem to shake this cough. It’s been weeks and I’m still trying to cough up a lung every five seconds.” Eddie frowned at how hoarse Bucks' voice sounded, turning the man so he could examine him with the keen eye of a paramedic. Now that he was looking, he could see how pale and tired he looked, his skin resembling wax and a sheen coat of sweat on his brow. Eddie placed a trained hand on Bucks forehead, frowning even more so when heat quickly soaked into his palm.
“You don’t look so good Buck, are you sure you should be here? Maybe you should go to the doctor and get checked out.” Now it was Bucks turn to frown, not liking the idea of visiting his doctor at all.
He was just a little under the weather, that’s all, and Eddie was being a worried dad like usual.
“Nah, I’m good man, I just caught a bug or something—“ Buck pushed back from his car and grabbed the cooling coffee from the hood— “and I have a twenty four hour shift to get through, I’ll be fine.” He said, making his way into the firehouse with Eddie hot on his heels.
“It’s still early Buck, I’m sure we could find someone to cover for you, and I really don't think it’s a good idea for you to work today. You're clearly not feeling well.” Eddie tried to reason, but his pleas fell on deaf (or unwilling) ears.
Eddie wasn’t worried though, positive that Bobby would send the young firefighter home with a single look, chastising him for even trying to work while he was not at the top of his game. The older man watched as Buck lumbered up the stairs, taking them a single step at a time instead of his usual two, only strengthening his belief that his best friend should take a day off.
Bobby turned around with a smile, having heard his boys heavy footsteps as they made their way up to the lounge, stopping when he got a glance as his youngest firefighter.
“What are you doing here?” The Captain asked, crossing his arms and lowering his voice slightly. He had to hold back a smirk when Buck froze, eyes snapping to attention and apprehension filling his stance.
“Bobby, come on.” Buck pleaded even though he knew it was no use; there was no changing his Captain's mind, especially when it came to the health of his team.
“You're sick.” The older man said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the word; and to most, it was. Except for one Evan Buckley, who thought a sick day was a self appointed jail sentence instead of a needed day off.
Buck was just about to argue, plead for his right to work, when a cough bubbled up in his chest with such ferocity that he couldn’t play it off as a fluke or the air being dry. He doubled over in an instant, chest heaving as he struggled to take in enough air between coughs. Four sets of hands were immediately on him, pushing him back until he was seated firmly in a chair. Buck closed his eyes for a moment, catching his breath and preparing himself for the barrage of questions that were surely to come.
“You okay Buckaroo? You sound like death warmed over.” Hen placed a motherly hand on the winded man's shoulder, rubbing gently until he composed himself. A cup of cold water was placed in his hands at the next moment, guiding the rim to his lips when he didn’t immediately move to take a drink.
“You're going home, kid. No excuses, and I want you to schedule a doctor's appointment for that cough today; I don’t care if you have to pull the firefighter card.” Bobby said, already pulling Buck up by his elbows, “I’ll call in Williams and have him cover your shift, no problem.” Buck made it down the stairs with Bobby and Eddie both supporting his weight, only tripping slightly on the landing. He let them drag him to his car, going as far as to open his door before he stopped Bobby when he reached for his seat belt.
“I’m fine guys, seriously. It’s just a cough. I’ll go home and rest, I swear.”
“No, you’re going to go and schedule that doctor's appointment, and if you can’t get one in with your doctor then I want you to go to the emergency room, alright? Do you want Eddie to drive you?” Bobby said, kneeling slightly so he could look Buck in the eye.
“No it’s alright, I can get home. I’ll be okay.” Buck swung his legs into the car, clicking his seatbelt into place before rolling down his window. He leaned his arm out the window so he could address his team.
“Drive home safe kid, and call me when you get that appointment scheduled.” Bobby said pointedly with a glare that could rival Athena’s before turning around and making his way into the firehouse.
“Stay safe Buckaroo and call me if you need anything, alright?” Hen ran a quick hand through his hair and patted the younger man’s cheek before leaving.
“I’m calling Maddie about this right now, so don’t even think about skipping out on that appointment Buck.” Chim called from over his shoulder, and Buck didn’t have to see his face to know it held a smirk. Buck huffed before facing his final team member, and the one least likely to leave him alone.
“Maybe you should just go straight to the ER. Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?” Eddie said, Hands already reaching for his keys despite Bucks lack of response— “why am I even giving you the option, of course I should drive you—“
“Eddie, man you're freaking out.” Bucks voice was still hoarse, a little rough around the edges and airy, only fulling Eddies need to fix it, to make it better.
“You shouldn’t be driving yourself to the hospital Buck.” By now Eddie was leaning into the driver's window, looking seconds away from jumping in and comenderring the car so Buck couldn’t drive it.
“The ER is like ten minutes away from here Ed’s, I’ll be fine. I’ll even go right now if that’ll make you feel better.” Buck had a hand already placed on the steering wheel, keys in the ignition and foot firmly on the brake pedal. All he needed was for Eddie to let him go.
“Okay fine, but promise you’ll pull over if you start coughing bad, and call as soon as you get there and tell me what the doctors say, okay?” Eddie said, finally backing away from the car. Buck nodded, sticking his hand out the window for a quick fistbump before he was making his way towards the hospital.
Truth be told he should have gotten his chest checked out weeks ago, but he was too afraid of it being something to go on his own accord. He couldn’t bare the thought of being out of work for even a second, and now he was starting to regret it.
The coughing had gotten worse overtime, what started as a tickle was now a full blown ach in his chest cavity, his lungs heaving and wheezing even hours after a spell.
Buck ran an hand over his chest, rubbing where the ach was most fierce and praying it wasn’t more than a lasting bug. He just caught a nasty virus and it was taking longer for him to shake it.
He pulled into the parking lot of the ER entrance and made his way inside, stopping at the front desk.
“Hi, my name’s Evan Buckley, and I’m coming in about a really bad cough and some chest pains. I'm a firefighter so I went to make sure it’s nothing serious.” He told the nurse at the front desk, a young man with slicked back curls thick black rimmed glasses.
“No problem, just fill out these forms and take a seat. A doctor will call your name when it’s your turn.” Buck took the forms and left with a quick thank you, finding a seat in the relatively empty room. The only other residents were an older woman, a man about his age, and a mom clutching her kid.
‘Hopefully I don’t have to wait long to be seen’ Buck thought as he sent a mass text out to his team stating that he made it to the ER without problem.
——
Buck watched as each person got called back, the room's population dwindling to one until it was finally his turn after about an hour of waiting.
“Mr. Buckley?” The doctor called, gesturing for him to head back into the exam room.
“I’m Dr. Simmons and I’ve been told that you have a lasting cough and same chest pains?” The doctor asked, grabbing a stethoscope and gesturing for Buck to sit down on the exam table. Buck did, climbing up and placing his hands in his lap.
“Yeah, I’ve had this cough for a few weeks now, and the chest pain started about a week ago. I’m a firefighter so I want to make sure it’s not smoke inhalation or something serious.” Dr. Simmons nodded long, placing the stethoscope against Bucks back and telling him to breathe deeply, which he did with some difficulty. He couldn’t take too deep of a breath without it hurting, so his inhale sounded wheezy and slightly choked off at the end.
The older man hummed, listening closely for a few more minutes before leaning back with a sigh.
“There’s definitely something going on in your lungs, but I would like to take some scans and do some tests to confirm. We’re going to start off with some chest x-rays and do a CAT-scan if necessary, alright? We can get those done within the hour and have the results by tomorrow. I would like to go over the scans in person, so it’d be best if you don’t go to work tomorrow, not that you should with a cough and chest pains anyways.” Doctor Simmons said, typing notes into his computer. “Do you have anyone you want to call? You might be here awhile.”
Buck thought about it before deciding to shoot Maddie and his team a quick text, telling them he’s fine and going to get some tests done now.
——
The trip to the ER took just over four hours, only a fraction of that time spent with an actual doctor, and the rest nearing level after level of candy crush on his phone as he waited to be called back. Buck was exhausted by the time he got to his Jeep, a doctor's slip in hand and appointment scheduled for eight o’clock tomorrow morning.
The firefighter sighed, resting his head on the steering wheel before pulling out his phone to text everyone that he was finally heading home.
——
“So what does that mean?” Buck asked, hands shaking as he squinted at the x-rays before him. It was early, and he had gotten maybe two hours of sleep last night because of nerves and back to back coughing fits. He was too tired for sugar coating, and that’s exactly what the doctor was doing.
“It means that we found something irregular in your x-rays and scans.” The doctor looked sympathetic, and ten years older than he did the day before.
“What did you find Doc?” Bucks hands were starting to shake and he didn’t know why. He doesn’t even know what was wrong yet, it could still be a virus.
“Are you sure you don’t want anybody with you right now, Mr. Buckley?” Dr. Simmons' voice was laced with sympathy, and Buck was honestly confused why he wasn’t writing out a prescription for some extra strength antibiotics and sending him on his way— it was just a virus.
“Tell me.” Buck meant to put some conviction in his tone but all that came out was a choked whisper.
It was just a virus, a common cold that he couldn’t shake—a—a
“We found a tumor in your left lung, about the size of a lemon and the reason for your cough and chest pain.”
It was silent.
Buck went silent, his mind checking out for a moment as he tried to make head and tails of the doctor's words. He sucked in a breath, holding it for far too long before finally releasing it.
“Are you still with me Mr. Buckley?” The doctor's voice was far away, muffled and warped and floating through water.
Buck found himself nodding despite not having the mental capacity at the moment to do so.
“I really think you should call somebody to be with you right now. I’m going to send you home with a care packet that has all the information you need to know, and I want you to schedule another appointment for tomorrow, alright?” Dr. Simmons was sure none of the information he was saying was sinking in despite the frequent nods his patient was giving him. The doctor slowly got up and made his way over to the young man, placing a hand on his shoulder.
Buck's head snapped up, eyes wide and glassy.
“I’m going to have a nurse call somebody for you alright? Who do you want to come?”
David Simmons was a father to three boys, all around the same age as the young man before him, and he couldn’t help but be concerned.
No one should bear this kind of news alone, especially someone so young.
“My—my sister.” Buck choked out, nails digging into his palms as he tried to keep what little composure he had left.
“I assume she’s your emergency contact?” Buck nodded again, watching as his doctor left with one final squeeze on his shoulder.
He had cancer.
——
Maddie was just getting home from work, greeting Chimney at the door with a quick kiss when her phone started to ring. She thought nothing of it, answering without checking the caller ID first.
“Hello?” She said, throwing her keys into the bowl beside the door and collapsing down onto the couch.
“Is this Madeline Buckley?” The voice asked, causing Maddie to frown slightly.
“This is she, can I ask who’s calling?” Chimney walked over then, sitting down next to his girlfriend and rubbing a gentle hand over her neck.
“This is Jason Vega, a nurse at LA General, and I’m calling on the behalf of Evan Buckley?” Maddie froze at that, a sense Of dread coating her skin and causing her to shiver.
“Is my brother okay?” She looked over at her boyfriend, catching his concerned gaze before focusing back on the call.
“He came in today for a follow up checkup regarding his cough, and the doctor thinks it’s best if someone comes down and sits with him. He asked for you by name.”
Maddie was already up and grabbing her purse, Chimney hot on her heels.
“Of course, of course— is everything alright?”
“I think it’s best you come down to the hospital and speak with the doctor in person. We’ll explain everything when you get here.” Maddie nodded, throwing out a quick thank you before running out to her car.
“Maddie, what’s going on?” Chimney asked, plucking the keys out of his girlfriend's hand, slipping into the driver's seat himself. She was in no condition to drive.
“I’m not sure, a nurse at LA general just called and said that Buck needs someone to sit with him, and that I need to talk to his doctor? I don’t know.” She shook her head, hand clutching her phone in a white knuckle grip.
Chimney reached over and placed a hand on her knee, squeezing gently before focusing back on driving.
“Why don’t you send a text to everyone to explain the situation? Just say we’re meeting Buck at the hospital and we’ll text them an update when we have it, alright?” Maddie nodded, glad to have something to do.
To The Fire Fam— Howie and I are meeting Buck at the hospital. We’ll send an update soon.
Maddie put her phone down in her lap for a second before it was blowing up, everyone in their family looking for answers.
From Hen— is he alright??
From Eddie— do you want us to meet you at the hospital?
From Athena— what did the doctor say?
And so forth, everyone more than ready to drop everything and high tail it to the hospital.
From Maddie— don’t have any information right now, but I’ll text everyone once I know what’s happening.
Maddie put her phone on silent once they pulled into the hospital parking lot twenty minutes later, jumping out and grabbing Chimney's hand for support.
“Everything’s going to be okay, and if it’s not right now then it will be soon, alright? This is Buck we’re talking about, that kid has like nine lives.” Chimney tried to joke, but there was no mistaking the concern in his tone. They walked up to the front desk hand and hand, smiling once they had the nurses attention.
“Hi, we’re here for Evan Buckley?” Maddie said, causing the nurse to nod and page someone to the front desk.
It took only a minute for a doctor to show up, his face grim despite the noticeable effort to keep his expression neutral and unassuming.
“I’m Dr. Simmons; if you both would follow me right this way.” He said, leading them back to a small office, and gesturing for them to take a seat.
Maddie did, her arms clenched tightly in her lap. “Where’s my brother?” She got right to the point, here nerves overriding her manners.
“He’s back with a nurse right now, and we can go see him shortly, I just wanted to talk to you for a moment.” The doctor pulled out a crisp vanilla folder from his desk, shuffling through it until he found the paper he was looking for. “This is a scan of Mr, Buckley’s lungs from six months ago.” He said, displaying a healthy looking pair of lungs.
Chimney was not liking where this was going. He’s seen this tactic done many times before; show what the scan is supposed to look like, and then show what it was now. Chimney held his breath, subconsciously clutching the arm rest, gearing up for what he knew was coming.
But it couldn’t be true— this was Buck they were talking about— and Buck couldn’t—
“And this is his lungs now.” Chimney didn’t have to look to know what was wrong. He looked over at his girlfriend and caught the exact moment she realized what was happening.
Buck had Cancer.
Evan Buckley, the man he saw as a little brother, had cancer.
Fucking cancer.
“No.” Chimney was there in a second, arms wrapping around Maddie’s shaking frame as she collapsed inwards. He was expecting tears, screams of anguish and confusion, but instead he got silence. Maddie went still, jaw clenched as she tried to control herself. “What—What-“ she tried to get something out, act like she wasn’t on the brink of a mental breakdown, but her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton.
“It’s alright, it’s okay.” Chimney was rubbing a hand up and down his girlfriend's back, blinking back his own tears and trying to figure out where to go from here. Thankfully the doctor was two steps ahead of them.
“Mr. Buckley is sitting with a nurse right now, he’s just right down the hall—“ the doctor soothed, “I want you to schedule a appointment with oncology tomorrow, they’ll go over everything that needs to be done in order to form a treatment plan, but don’t worry about that tonight, alright? Take Mr. Buckley home, makes some calls, and just keep him relaxed.” The doctor advised, gesturing for the couple to get up when they were ready. Chimney kept a firm hold on Maddie as he eased her out of the chair, clutching an arm around her waist to make sure she was supported. Dr. Simmons led them down the hallway and into a room a few doors down where Buck was waiting, an older woman at his side.
“There’s your sister and Chimney now Evan.” The women said, smiling down at Buck like he was one of her own sons, a warm hand placed in his.
“Hello there, my name’s Jane and I was just keeping Evan here company till you arrived. He was just telling me about you guys, but didn’t have a chance to explain why your name is Chimney.” The nurse laughed, causing Chimney to grin.
“That’s a story I’ll never be able to tell sober.” That got everyone laughing, and Chimney grinned even wider at the tiny chuckle he got out of Buck.
“I’ll leave you with your family; alright, Evan? It was nice meeting you dear and I’m sure I’ll see you around.” She placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder before leaving, touching Maddie’s on her way out.
Maddie walked slowly over to her brother, hands shaking as she sat down next to him on the hospital bed. She leaned her head down until it was resting gently on Buck's shoulder, no words being said between the siblings, but then again nothing really needed to be said at the moment. Chimney slowly walked up to the pair, standing before them and grabbing each of their hands.
They sat there in silence for a matter of minutes, gathering their thoughts before feeling as though they had enough strength to face what lay outside the little bubble of safety they created.
Maddie was the first to speak up, a soft smile on her face as she looked at her brother, “the doctor said we can go home tonight, and we’re going to schedule another appointment for tomorrow morning. Are you ready to go? ” The older woman was rubbing a hand up and done Buck’s arm, trying to catch his attention long enough to get a response. Buck looked spacey, almost like his brain had shut off so it didn’t have to deal with what was happening, not that anyone could blame him.
He was just diagnosed with lung cancer not even an hour ago.
‘Jesus,’ Chimney though. This was really happening. This wasn’t some really weird fever dream; this was reality.
Buck had cancer.
‘No, no— don’t do that.’ Chimney shook himself slightly, stretching out his shoulders and bringing himself out of his head. ‘They need you now more than ever, so get your head out of your ass and step up.’
“How about we stop for some smoothies on the way home? That’ll be good for your throat Buck, and I don’t know about you guys, but I could really go for a treat.” Buck lifted his head up for the first time and met his friend’s (brother really) eyes, smiling slightly.
“That sounds nice.” He said, voice still rough around the edges but his eyes looked a little clearer, so Chim would take what he could get. Maddie reached down and helped Buck up, keeping an arm wrapped in his as they made their way out to the reception desk. Chimney quickly made the appointment, scheduled for ten the next morning, before leading their little group out of the hospital and to his parked car.
“We’ll have someone come get your car later Buck.” Chimney said even though that was probably the last thing on his mind. The younger man just nodded, getting into the back seat without a word. Maddie shut the door softly, turning to her boyfriend with glistening eyes and a sob stuck in her throat. Chimney wrapped her up in his arms quickly, tucking her head under his chin and speaking softly—“it's going to be okay, Maddie. It’s going to be alright.”
“How do you know?” Maddie said, taking deep breaths to stop herself from crying.
“Because this is Buck we’re talking about, things will be rough for a while, but he has the best support group behind him. He’ll be okay.” Chimney presses one final kiss to her temple, pushing her hair behind her ear before gesturing to the passenger seat.
The couple hopped into the car, looking back to see Buck leaning his head against the car door, face tucked into the sweatshirt he wore to suppress the coughing fit he couldn’t stop. Maddie turned in her seat, worry covering her features despite trying to not come off as overbearing.
“Are you alright?” She asked.
“I’m fine, This is normal I guess, the non-stop coughing.” Buck kept his eyes closed, mouth hidden beneath the fabric of his sweatshirt. His forehead was crinkled with pain, eyes closed against the light shining through the window.
Tension headaches from all the coughing were apparently a normal thing as well, because his head has been pounding off and on for days now, coming and going with each fit he had.
“I can give you some tylenol when we get our smoothies, alright?” Maddie said, and all Buck could do was nod.
They drove for maybe five minutes before Chim pulled into their favorite smoothie place conveniently placed close to their fire station. He pulled out his wallet, already knowing everybody’s orders by heart. He left with a quick smile, walking into the local owned smoothie place with a soft smile, greeting the owner like he did at every visit.
“Hey Joan.” Chimney greeted, trying to keep his usual enthusiasm in his voice but he knew he fell short. Joan gave him a look, eyes squinting slightly.
“Rough day, Chim?” The older women asked, leaning on the counter.
“You could say that.” More like today has turned into one of the worst of his life, but the shop owner didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to turn someone’s else’s day on it’s head just because he felt like screaming and crying.
“Well let me get you your usuals, who are you ordering for today hun?” Joan asked, already knowing it wasn’t just him looking for a cool treat. It was rare that anyone from the firehouse came in and ordered just one drink.
“It’s just Maddie, Buck and I today Joan.” Chimney said, the older women pulling fruits from bowls and preparing the smoothies without prompting.
“So a strawberry banana for Maddie, a green madness with mango purée for Buck, and a very berry for you. Anything else?” She asked as Chimney walked over to the tip jar and threw in a ten. Joan looked over, knowing exactly what he was doing and huffed.
“You know first responders don’t pay for anything in this shop, Mr. Han” Joan said, eyeing the ten dollar bill like it personally offended her. She handed over the smoothies, throwing in a couple of her handmade chocolate chip cookies just to spite him.
“You can’t run a business like that Joan, especially with how often we come in here.” Chimney took the smoothies and cookies with a smile, nodding to the older women as he made his way to the door.
“Thanks again Joan!”
“Anytime Chimney, tell the others hi for me.”
When Chimney got back to his car he noticed two things had changed in the time it took to get their smoothies
One was Maddie was no longer in the passenger seat, but instead curled up in the back row next to her younger brother; and the second being Buck was no longer conscious, head tucked in Maddie’s lap and she ran her fingers through his hair.
The older man hopped into the front seat quietly, putting the drinks down in the empty spot beside him before turning, finding Maddie’s piercing eyes already on him.
“He's exhausted.” She said simply, voice thick with emotion.
“It’s been a rough day.” Chimney said, passing back her smoothie. She took it silently, sticking the straw in and taking a sip. “We’ll just pop his in the freezer for later; just let him sleep for now.”
The ride home was silent, Bucks soft breathing filling the air while Maddie ran a hand through his hair softly, hushing him when he started to stir.
They haven’t done this in years, Buck falling asleep in her lap. She used to take him out when their parents got too loud, or tensions got too high and she’d drive for a couple miles to put some distance between them and their problems. Maddie would stop at an empty field or park and climb into the backseat next to her brother, cradle him in her arms, reminding him over and over again how much she loved him. That he was something special and it didn’t matter what their parents thought, and that they’d be okay as long as they had each other.
Everything was going to be okay as long as they had each other