Archive of Our Own ^beta

some people are only wanted because of their looks, Ten knew this fairly well, and while there were those who truly loved him, he was sure he could count those people with the fingers of one hand only, and, even then, he would still have fingers left. some other people had the decency of liking his witty and sassy manners — or at least pretended to —, not that it was important, he would call all of them cowards at the end, and perhaps, honour more those who were clear since the beginning, those who came wiggling their pompous feathers to impress him and tell him, directly to his face, you’re gorgeous, that way, he would at least have the satisfaction of truth, while superficial and nauseous, it was better that some woven lies.

people fought over him sometimes, to try and show who the best one was, in hopes one of them could get inside his pants. but then, they would turn their heads to where Ten was supposed to be watching, fangirling over them, as they wanted to imagine, only to find him gone at his best, or looking horribly bored at his worst, which was definitely worse for the ones fighting over him, because you can imagine and i can assure you, it was only embarrassing to have the object of their desires despise them in such public display.

Ten had lived with this for the most part of his life, and the reason was simple, allow me to tell you as best i can, although no narration could ever make justice to his pristine image, and if you think what i say comes close to reality, you must tell me immediately, for something must be wrong, i firmly believe humanity is lost the day someone manages to reduce his person to a baladí definition.

he is the object of desire for many, and with fair reason, because he is pretty, you'll see, with his long lashes fanning over his rosy high cheekbones, high but just enough to make him look like a dresden doll, which also suited the description for his soft, smooth, unmarked skin, that was just the perfect shade of warm ivory to look a whitish pale when under the grey clouds and a fair honey when light was illuminating him. his face was thin, not round, nor square, just the perfect proportions up and down, with a sharp, flat, unbeatable jawline, not brusque, you know? rather elegant, giving way to his long slim neck, with the exact same beige undertone, and just some espresso brushes where the shadows created by absence of light were, highlighting, for example, his visible enough adam’s apple, subtle but strong, bobbing every other time, when singing or breathing heavily after dancing for so long. his chin had just the perfect angle, it was stylish, not at all grotesque, and his lips were thin, but not exaggeratedly so, they were cushioned in all the perfect spots and its outline was symmetric, his cupid’s bow was sharp, which meant also his philtrum was, and that only made him look more kissable. this led to his dapper nose, straight, straight, straight, except for the curious pointy tip at the end, that looked ethereal when Ten posed on his side, along his slanted eyes, the outer corners pointing upward, while the inner ones were spiky and pointing downward, giving him a mischiveous appearance, that paired up with his upright eyebrows of thin hair and his long looking nose when he looked at the front, gave him a dangerous, mysterious, clever look, like that of a cat. he used to comb his hair according his mood of the day, but Ten himself thought he looked the best with his dark coloured hair, sleeked, but with his bangs falling loosely around his high forehead. he also used to adorn his ears with fine jewelry, sometimes using only a couple of earrings, some others choosing to garnish all his eleven piercings, which made him look more feminine than anyone would like to admit, and when he decided that it was a good day to wear makeup, everyone be damned, because then Ten would look ethereal. Ten is pretty indeed. but he’s also handsome. with the manner he would comb his hair with his masculine hands, or sharpen his stare whenever he saw something he liked, with the way his arms would display just the bare hint of muscle, the way his clothes would embrace his well developed and hard trained body, with how his legs would remain apart as he sat down on the floor, or how he would choose how to dress. Ten was androgenous, as you might see, and it inspired both, envy and lust, to both, men and women.

and so Ten knew. he knew if he very well had wanted to get away with something, he only needed to bat his lashes and he would run away with no punishment. he knew if he wanted something he only needed to look at it and it would become his. he knew if he wanted to go somewhere, he just needed to move his hand, elegantly, like a queen of old would, and people would pave the way for him. he knew if he wanted to destroy someone, he just needed to snap his fingers, and that heart would be broken at the same pace. he knew it, and yet, he never did it. because he liked to think of himself as an honest, hard working human being, before anything else, and maybe, because they all wanted one thing, and it was never him. it was his body, his appearance, probably something he could teach them; they wanted beauty, they wanted power, and so they promised him the same, but you can’t offer a person what he already possesses, because Ten already had it, and he wanted something other than lies. he wanted something he didn’t have.

what could Ten possibly want, you may ask. you’re lucky i know. he wants only one thing: he wants someone.

he wants a certain someone that goes by the name of Kun. 

and, why does he want Kun? because he wants truth.

ever since Ten first saw Kun across a room, he perceived three things. one, he looked impossibly lovely; two, Kun didn’t spare him a second glance, as if he wasn’t interested; and three, this lack of interest seemed more true than any compliment he had ever received.

and so, Ten went after him. 

he went after Kun after realising he couldn’t get away with anything, if Ten gave into Yangyang, their youngest, and bought anything the baby asked for, or ignored his playful antics, he could expect Kun to send Ten off to buy the groceries, and ban them both off the kitchen; if Ten decided he didn’t want to do anything out of laziness, he could almost feel Kun smile at him, calm and understanding, but that was powerful enough to make anyone feel guilty, and so Ten had to get out of bed and do everything he didn’t want to. he continued to go after Kun when he saw he had to work for what he wanted, he wanted Kun, but Kun didn’t mind, not when Ten hugged him at night and caged him with his limbs, because then, Kun would only look tenderly at him and shake his head, letting out a soft you’re tired, in sharp korean or familiar mandarin. he went after Kun when he tried to go even higher in his career and Kun didn’t pave the way for him, instead, he walked by his side, watching him struggle and offering guidance only when necessary, like a wise, caring parent. and he still went after Kun when he snapped his fingers and, instead of Kun's heart breaking at the force, he felt his own heart threaten with shattering to pieces at the sight of Kun remaining the same, unaffected.

that’s when Ten decided he wanted Kun, and that he would make him his.

Kun is not a hard-to-get kind of guy. he probably is just a hard-to-get kind of guy for Ten. Ten doesn't understand why, though. but he comes to that conclusion the day — rather night, he should say — he sees Johnny hug Kun over his shoulders in the way to their room in osaka, while he pulls out a delicate red rose out of the bouquet the managers gave each pair of roommates, and gave it to him in the most gentleman-like way possible, he also saw that time how Kun had blushed furiously a pretty pink colour that looked rosewood toned on his pale cheeks. Ten wouldn't have done that, i mean, he wouldn't have given Kun a simple red rose, no, he would have gifted him an enormous chrysanthemum bouquet and bathed him in Freya's sacred flowers. not that Ten would've tried to seduce him in such earthly manner anyway. 

Ten preferred to watch him, to truly look at him and listen to him. he did it when Kun was distracted looking out the window, letting his delicate facial features sunbathe in the golden rays; he looked at him when Kun closed his eyes while he sang, letting every feeling drift from his pores and onto his honeyed voice; he saw Kun when he breathed heavily, furrowing his brows and parting his lips while sweat dripped down his skin onstage; he truly watched Kun when the older would walk around their dorm in his comfiest clothes, his hair all soft and fluffy, some specs over the bridge of his nose, his makeupless face and calm, peaceful façade; he listened to him when Kun was sat on his chair in his small production room, he heard how soft melodies would leave his lips as he uttered words freely to compose songs, looking small with his crossed legs and big hoodie, sweater paws moving over the keyboards; he would also listen attentively to his opinions and childhood tales, Ten would pick up effortlessly whatever little detail Kun let out, from what he liked and disliked, to what his biggest and craziest dreams were; but Ten would also listen to Kun's heartbeat at his luckiest nights, when Kun felt generous enough, and not tired as almost all the time, to let him climb into his bed.

“you were amazing today, Ten,” truth. Kun always spoke the truth. 

“you were even better, Kun,” not gē, he thought, that was too formal, Ten didn't want formality, he wanted familiarity. 

“one day,” Kun said, “i'll be more like you.”

Ten turned his head. no, he wanted to say. you don't want to be like me at all. 

“i think you're way better than me,” Ten responded instead. “in a different way. why would you ever want to reduce yourself to this?” 

“do you really think i'll be lessening myself?” 

“you know, truth is better than beauty. people like pretty things, even if they don't understand the meaning laying within, which has brought beauty to a mundane level. i wouldn't want that for you,” Ten shook his head and rearranged himself to bring Kun to his chest instead, as if wanting to protect him. “i'd rather have you up in a higher level, where not many people admire and understand but a wise chosen few.” 

Kun purred in his chest, he didn't say more, instead he fell asleep in Ten's arms. 

Ten would often treat him to dinner for every time he saw Kun preparing delicious homemade food they all craved; he would buy him pretty things when he saw how Kun took hours to choose presents for them; and he would also listen to him for long hours, just how Kun himself took his time to patiently listen to each and everyone of them. he watched Kun practise with uttermost admiration and Ten performed and gifted him his best choreography, as if he was performing a ritual to please a god, that god being Kun himself, like his own version of Veritas in his mind. 

“why don't we go out like the rest?” 

Ten hummed while he groomed Kun's ashy hair, that was spread over his legs, while Kun was laying unbothered on the sofa, resting against Ten. 

“because i don't want to attend secular things when it comes to you,” Ten answered. 

“isn't this worldly too, though?” Kun asked. 

“no, because i feel connected to you when we're like this, in a way i can't when we're outside,” he explained. “this feels more sacred to me.” 

Kun removed himself from Ten's lap and sat on the couch next to him instead. now, at the same level, Kun could ask:

“why do you put me in such a valuable position? i'm only human.” 

Ten smiled, feline and beautiful and sinful, exactly as everyone loved to see him, to go after him, but this time, his smile looked more tangible somehow, because this time it wasn't Ten smiling after being chased, it was Ten smiling before chasing his prey. 

he took Kun's chin between his fingers and dragged him just a little to angle him right. he landed a kiss on his plump but small lips. Kun didn't look victorious after it, as any other person would have, it was Ten looking victorious this once, and he thought he could probably understand those who were after himself, except he felt satisfied in a way none of them could, because Ten was kissing Kun and none of them was kissing Kun. he also was after something celestial, not as earthly as they were, and god, i can't even describe how close it comes to being in heaven when Ten was near Kun. 

Kun never rejected any of Ten's attempts to seduce him, but he didn't fall hopelessly for them either, and far from discouraging Ten, he fed him enough to make him burn with want. he would fall for Kun after every kiss, after every moment with him and their kids, after every playful flirtation and every genuine thank you Kun would say to him for giving him the most expensive jacket or the most elaborated work of art painted by himself. 

“you're so irresistible, you know that?” Ten asked, not expecting a response, because, first, Kun was way too busy moaning his name, and second, it was more a question directed to himself after admiring Kun's broken expression for long minutes, engraving the image in his mind to portray it on paper later when he felt in love enough to let it all out. 

“you're-”, Kun had to stop to breathe and compose himself, because Ten was repeatedly abusing his most sensitive point and it was hard to form words, let alone a complete sentence. “ah, you're the only one that wants me.” 

Ten licked a stripe over his neck and adam's apple making him shiver. 

“good, because i'm the only one that should matter,” he said. 

“why do you like me?” and at those words, Ten forced himself to slow down, even when the tight heat surrounding him called out for him to ravish Kun. 

“why wouldn't i? you're everything i've always wanted, but cannot have.” 

“why would you look at me when no one else does?” they sounded sad, let's be honest, those words, but Ten couldn't perceive a hint of sadness in his voice. 

“oh, Kun, baby,” he muttered. “i'll give my life to show you how many desire you, but they're too scared, they like plain-looking things, you'll see, but you're not simple, nor am i a coward.”

“so many people want you, why me?” Kun repeated, like Ten was not giving him the correct answer or like he knew Ten needed a challenge, wanted a challenge. 

“they all want beauty, beauty at any price. for me it is truth. it is always truth.” Ten stopped. he nosed at Kun's cheek. then, he continued speaking, in a lower octave this time. “you're good, which is more than beautiful, and you're real, the only truth existing,” he accentuated his words with a roll of his hips and Kun moaned a loud ah that could be heard outside the door. “the real question is, why don't you like me?” 

“Ten,” he moaned and he looked through his eyelashes and crystallised eyes. “i do like you.” 

“but not the same way i like you.” 

Ten grabbed his hand and interlaced their fingers, longing, pretending he had what he wanted. he kissed Kun, slow and passionate, probably because he didn't want to hear whatever truth Kun could shoot at him at that moment. because yes, he loved Kun's honest tongue, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt him sometimes. still, Ten loved pain and most importantly, he loved Kun. 

“but i will,” he murmured with pleasure filled voice as soon as Ten had let go of his mouth. it sounded like the cruelest lie Ten had ever heard, but it wasn't, because it was Kun and the nectar in his voice was unavoidable, it was true. “soon.” 

it was a promise. but it sounded like a threat. 

Ten smiled. 

“i can wait, if my reward will be you underneath me, like this, in my arms, screaming my name.” 

“i can give that to you right now,” Kun said, hooking his ankles at Ten's back to encourage him to move. 

“then i better make you cry, i bet you look so pretty when you cry.” 

and Kun delivered. the most beautiful song, as he panted and screamed Ten's name, with tears rolling down his cheeks due to the overwhelming emotions and overstimulation. 

“tell me another truth,” Ten asked like a child asking for a bed time story, when they were comfortably nested under the covers. 

“i will fall in love with you,” Kun said. “and i'll be yours… someday.” 

and probably Ten fell in love with Kun because Kun didn't fall head over heels for him like everyone else. or he probably did because Kun recognised what everyone needed and could tell right away than Ten needed and craved a challenge. or he probably just did it because Kun had never lied to please him and get him, instead, he told him the truth to hurt him and test him.

it didn't matter at the end. because Ten didn't want to be pretty and belong to someone anymore, he wanted to have someone pretty and truthful and loyal in his possession.

he didn't want to be anyone else's; he wanted someone else — preferably Kun — to be his.