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Chapter Text

She was there. She was finally there. After thinking that all was lost and that she would go to jail and never see her daughter, her mother and Sergio again, Raquel was inside the Bank of Spain.

It was a rescue plan, which, executed by the rules, would be perfect, and it was. She and Sergio studied it down to the smallest detail, all the possible scenarios and even a plan B. And oh, they did study it. Their famous Plan Paris.

If she closed her eyes, she could still feel Sergio's fingertip running up and down her back, telling her the whole plan while she memorized it, or tried to memorize every word, while the warmth of his skin and the steady beating of his heart lulled her to sleep.

Their plan of freedom. Their plan of love.

Ironic that in those moments she did not feel free; trapped between the thick walls of the bank, with all the CNI, the GEOs and the army outside, who would surely try to enter at any moment.

And loved... that was a tricky one. She doubted for a moment that Sergio was indeed going to execute the Plan Paris. Even if her rational part knew that he would, she was so on edge that her mind made her hesitate for a moment. But he loved her, as much as she loved him back, and now her love would probably extend into something else.

Probably, since she wasn't entirely sure yet, and, because she didn't know if he was going to escape Alicia's hands alive. Hearing her speak from the other side of the radio had been a hard blow and now, she didn't care about anything other than getting out of that place and rescuing Sergio alive. Nothing else.

That was why she put the thought in the darkest part of her mind. What if Sergio couldn't make it out alive? What if she couldn't make it out alive? What if she lost it? It was better not to get attached before time.

And there, sitting on the edge of the tub in the governor's bathroom, wrapped in a towel after taking a bath, her hair dripping, her body shivering with cold, and her teeth chattering, Raquel released a quivering sigh. Everything was so fucked up, she came to curse the moment she agreed to go there. She should be in Mindanao, with her mother and daughter, they should have been her highest priority, but she was so eager to help, to show the band that she was one of them, she was so hungry for justice, to show the system that they weren't almighty and to help poor Rio, the most innocent of the whole gang.

"Raquel," Mónica's soft voice brought her back to reality, "I brought you your clothes." In her hands she had the red mono, folded over it, the black t-shirt, and on top the combat boots.

"Thank you." It was all she could say.

“Well, I… we are waiting for you outside so you can tell us what to do next."

Raquel couldn't ignore the way Mónica's entire body seemed to tremble. But she didn't have time to broach the matter when a loud knock on the office door interrupted them. They could hear a couple of voices arguing outside. It was Tokyo and Palermo.

Mónica turned around and went out to see what was happening. “What’s going on?!" She exclaimed when she opened the door.

"Where is Raquel?!” Palermo asked, "we have to start moving, this is not the time for her spa day, paint her nails and blow dry her hair, Sergio is in that crazy bitch’s hands and the whole plan is falling apart. RAQUEL!”

"What part of ‘she is getting dressed’ didn't you understand?!” Tokio fired back.

"It's likely that the damn GEOs are about to come in, they won’t give a fuck if she is dressed in red mono, pajamas or naked, they will enter anyway!" Palermo screamed.

Hearing the entire argument from the bathroom, Raquel tucked the towel tighter around her chest and went out to face Palermo. “What’s going on?!"

“What’s going on?" Palermo mocked, “what the hell is going on? It happens that we have the rope around our neck, that’s what happens, so we better start devising a plan to rescue Sergio!”

"What about our escape?" Mónica stepped in to ask. "How are we going to get out of here?!”

"For that we need Sergio free, he is the one who would help us to get out from outside." Palermo answered.

"We still have Marsella," Tokio added, "I already contacted him, he left the helicopter and is waiting for orders on what to do next."

“Good, good,” Raquel said, “I know Alicia, she's unpredictable but she's also very smart, she won't hurt Sergio without first getting something out of him. So we have to do something to stop her before she does."

"She's screwed," Tokio said, "she betrayed the entire CNI, she exposed them on national TV, maybe we can pull that thread."

"That's a good idea!" Mónica said.

"And how would we do it?" Palermo asked, “we are not going to offer her freedom and a sack of gold, not after what she did, aren’t we? That’s not fair!"

Raquel laughed humorlessly, “are you really talking about what is fair and what is not?! You, who basically let Gandía run like crazy all over the bank, shooting here and there, sending part of the plan to hell, torturing Tokio and Nairobi… giving her a fucking shot in the forehead! Have some fucking shame!”

"Oh, so now I—"

"GUYS!" Mónica yelled when she saw that the tempers were heating up between Raquel and Palermo. “Please, this is not the time for fights, now more than ever is when we should be more united. We all want to get out of here, so please, let's get to work on that!”

Palermo huffed and settled his AR 15 on his shoulder, "I'll be waiting for you downstairs in 5 minutes to start devising the rescue plan."

“I'll take whatever time I take,” Raquel replied, “meanwhile call Marsella to see if there is any news. Now please go, I am not in the mood to argue with you wrapped in a wet towel.”

Palermo gave her a mocking expression looking her up and down, then turned around, walking down the hall, "five minutes!" He repeated.

"Welcome to the matriarchy!" Tokio screamed behind him. “You asshole." She muttered.

“Tokio!” Mónica scolded her, "I mean it, we have to be together, I... I want to get out of here, and I suppose you too, so please."

"Mónica is right, Tokio." Raquel agreed.

“Ok, ok. So… now you're the one in charge?" Tokio asked.

"I... I don't know, I guess so?"

"I think it'd be the best." Mónica said. She liked Tokio, but she was also aware of how unstable she was, she wasn't going to let her and Palermo ruin the plan more and more, she wanted to get out alive, she wanted to see Cincinnati again.

To Mónica's surprise, and Raquel’s as well, Tokio shrugged with a half smile, "I suppose so, of all here you are the best prepared to face the police."

"But that doesn’t mean that your ideas don’t count," Raquel clarified, "we are a team and every word, every idea counts, so don’t hesitate to share them and together we will discuss them, we are all in this together."

"For Nairobi." Tokio said.

"For Nairobi, and for Sergio, and for all of us." Raquel added.

"So... boss," Tokio extended her hand to Raquel, "welcome to the Bank of Spain."

Raquel took Tokio's hand and brought her in a hug, then Monica and the three women joined in a hug and it was something warm, almost mystical, the energy that radiated from them and that they shared with each other, a vibe of vulnerability but at the same time of courage, strength and power. They knew they were not alone and as difficult as it seemed, they were going to get out of it.

“Well, now," Raquel pulled back from the embrace, "let's get this started.”

Raquel returned to the bathroom to change into the red mono. She stood in front of the sink, holding tightly by the edges and staring at herself in the mirror. She felt like crying, screaming and breaking things, she wanted to smash her fists against the mirror in front of her, but that was literally the worst thing she could do, she couldn’t lose control now, in those moments it was when she should think with a cold head, even if her heart depended on the outcome of that heist. She didn’t care about the gold, she just wanted to get out of there, rescue Sergio and go back home, wherever that was going to be, go back to her daughter and her mother and forget everything that had happened.

The more she looked in the mirror, the more she felt crying, until she felt like throwing up. She felt nauseous, and again that thought assailed her mind. No, it couldn't be. But then she remembered that they hadn’t been careful at all.

The more she thought about it, her stomach felt more and more uneasy, until she couldn't take it anymore, she tightened the towel around her chest with one hand and hurried to kneel in front of the toilet, groaning as her knees collided hard against the cold marble floor, with her other hand she held her hair up and there, she poured the contents of her stomach, which was basically pure irritating bile.

Raquel had literally eaten nothing solid in days; When she was in the caravan with Sergio, they barely ate and if she did, it was only a few bites of a bland sandwich. In the tent they gave her absolutely nothing to eat, only a few glasses of water. In the court room, nobody bothered to offer her dinner when everyone ordered while she was testifying and in prison... she didn't have the stomach to eat whatever that attempt of food was.

Her eyes immediately filled with tears as she felt the stinging bile burn her esophagus, tears that rolled down both sides of her cheeks. She gagged, trying to spit something out, but it was just saliva and a sour yellow-greenish liquid.

When nothing else came out of her, she sat down heavily on the floor, leaning against the wall and closing her eyes. Her hand immediately went from her lap to her lower abdomen. No, no and no!

Raquel thought in hindsight, she really didn't notice anything different about her. Nausea and vomiting? It was the tremendous level of stress and anxiety that she had been subjected to in recent days, and even weeks. Dizziness and tiredness? Easy, she hadn't eaten or slept in days. Cramps and tender breasts? Her period was probably about to come. Never mind this hadn't come in… she didn’t even remember. Raquel groaned and hit her head lightly against the wall. She was really screwed.

Rising from the floor, Raquel stood in front of the mirror again, unwrapping her body from the towel and letting it fall to the floor, pooling at her feet. Looking at her naked reflection, scanning every part of her body, her face, her breast, her hips, her belly. She released a long breath. Bringing her hand back to her lower belly, her skin crawled when her hand made contact with her skin, making her shiver. Then she cupped her breasts, squeezing them slightly, frowning when she felt the pain of the tenderness. She ran her hands over her face and head in despair. Could it be?

Whether she was or not, there was no time to find out, at that time there were things that were more urgent. Taking her underwear and red mono, Raquel got dressed in record time and went out to join the rest of the band, putting the idea of a possible pregnancy in the deepest and darkest part of her mind, along with the things that didn’t matter in that moment.

"The red mono suits you very well!" Mónica praised her when she saw her arrive.

"Thank you." Raquel said with a shy smile. "So, what have you thought?" She asked the rest of the band.

"I spoke with Marsella," Tokio said, “he is out of the storm reservoir, Alicia is still in there, so far he has not heard any other shots.

"Is there a chance that he can go in and subdue her?" Raquel asked.

"There is," Tokio said, "although I don't know how wise that is, we don't know what we're dealing with."

"I think you'd better talk to her first." Palermo said. “Tokio was right, she's screwed. The police want her head as much as the people, she has nowhere to run, we are the only ones who can help her, and you are the only one here who knows her better than anyone.”

"I also agree with Tokio." Rio said, “you all already spent a good amount of money to come and rescue me, why wouldn't we do it to rescue the Professor? And if that woman wants a part of the gold, I wouldn’t mind giving her all my part, as long as she lets him go.”

Raquel gave the youngest of the band a small smile and a squeeze on the arm. "Ok, so the plan would be to offer Alicia part of the gold and help her to escape in exchange for her letting Sergio go, right?" The band accepted in unison. “But, nothing else?”

“Nothing else?" Palermo asked.

"Yes, it is two favors in exchange for one." Raquel said.

Palermo scoffed, "one would think that for the love of your life you would hand over your own mother!”

"Hey, don’t mess with the mothers!" Denver exclaimed, taking a defiant step toward Palermo.

“It’s okay, Denver. It's okay." Raquel stopped Denver to keep things from getting out of hand. She wasn't going to let Palermo's comments get to her head, she had enough on her own. “If we are going to negotiate, we are going to do it well. Alicia is an excellent negotiator, but so am I. So we offer her the gold in exchange for Sergio's life, but freedom, in exchange for what?"

"Our freedom." Tokio said.

"Our freedom?!” Denver retorted, "are we going to beg her for our freedom?"

"Not in that way!" Tokio replied.

"Keep talking." Raquel asked.

“I don't know, we can… not put her on our side, but make her see that we are her only option, and if we go out she goes out, if not… the people will finish her, if the CNI and the National Police don’t do it first. She needs us, so we can use her as a wild card, in some tactic or even to escape."

"The escape is already planned and that one still stands, but we need Sergio free." Palermo said.

"So to buy time,” Raquel said, "we can negotiate her escape in exchange for her helping us to buy time, to melt the rest of the gold."

"She has no one," Tokio pointed out, "and she's about to give birth, she will surely want safety for her child."

Palermo laughed, "do you really think that bitch cares about her child?!”

"She cares,” Raquel assured him firmly, "she is a bitch, now, but as you say, I know her better than anyone and I know that she wasn’t like that and I know that her child matters to her, perhaps it’s the only thing that matters to her right now.”

"The only thing she cares about after finishing with the Professor." Bogota said.

"Believe me Bogotá, she cares."

“Well, well, well,” Palermo intervened, “whether she cares or not, it's a card we have to play, but what if she doesn’t? We must have a plan B, in case she thinks she has nothing to lose, what if she doesn’t care about her child’s life or her own? What if she just wants to end us because we ended her career?"

"It's her child!" Mónica exclaimed, with a sour undertone. “How can she care more about her reputation than her child?! What kind of mother is she?! I'm here, and I don’t give a damn if they call me a terrorist, I can't stop thinking about my son, about going back to him.”

“Pobre chaval." Denver said, referring to Alicia’s child, drawing Mónica to him with his arm.

Raquel swallowed. She knew Alicia, she knew she cared about her child, but at the same time she knew how unpredictable she was, they couldn't rule out the possibility that she, in fact, didn't care in the least about her baby.

But she wanted to think she did, she wanted to think that all those months that she had that little one growing and moving inside her were enough to make her fall in love, that knowing that that baby was the last thing she had from Germán was enough to want to protect it with her life if necessary.

What if she was pregnant? She couldn't help but think about it or think about the possibility that it might also be the last thing she would have of Sergio.

“Guys, calm down,” Raquel asked the band, “we didn’t end her career,” she said, “the police itself ended her career by using her as cannon fodder to save their own asses, and that's what I will make her see, leave it to me, I have faith that I will be able to convince her. But you're right, we better start thinking about a plan B. Now, let's go!"

Tokio took the radio, put it on loudspeaker and dialed Sergio, or, rather, Alicia.

"The number you dialed is busy." Alicia mockingly replied, "please call later." Then she hung up the phone.

Everyone was puzzled.

"What the hell was that?!" Rachel snapped.

"The bitch is playing with us,” Palermo said, "she knows she has us in her hands."

"No, we also have her in our hands!” Raquel replied. “We need her as much as she needs us, let's not forget that."

Raquel took the radio from Tokio's hands and left the room, going back to the governor's office. Closing the door, she took a long breath, sat down on the couch, and tried to contact Alicia again.

As soon as she heard a signal from the other side, she called out Alicia's name.

"Alicia! It's just me.”

“Are you calling to see if your little lamb is still alive? Don't worry, he's still alive, just a little… hurt.”

Raquel held her breath, but she wasn’t going to show weakness. ”Cut the crap, Alicia, what do you want?!”

"You know what I want."

Raquel huffed mockingly. “Revenge?! Is that what you want? I'm sorry to inform you that you are looking for it in the wrong place."

“Right, here's the part where you come up with your cheap philosophy and your mellow rhetoric about toppling the system, isn't it? Your professor really knew how to brainwash you!”

"Alicia, you surprise me, I thought you were smarter than that! Do you really think that the police force, the army and the CNI are going to give you a medal and erect a monument in your name? Please!” Raquel laughed.

“Like they did to you?"

"Why do you think I say it? We were both used as cannon fodder for larger interests, we both betrayed them, I was pushed to the limit until I had to resign, and you have a search and arrest warrant. You are cornered Alicia, you can kill Sergio or hand him over to the police if you want, but that will not change the fact that the police also want your head, and let’s suppose, in a practically utopian case, that they forgive you... the people will never forget nor forgive you gave the order to shoot Nairobi, the people hate you and they are on our side, they will hunt you down until they find you, do you really want that for your child? You have no idea how it feels to know that your child is in danger. You're screwed, Alicia, you need us and you know it.”

Raquel remained silent, waiting for an answer from Alicia. One, two, three seconds that seemed like an eternity. She was practically crossing her fingers, hoping she had convinced Alicia to come to some truce.

"So, what you are proposing to me is that, in exchange for me leaving your little lamb alive, will you help me escape?"

"And not only that, we will give you a part of the gold in exchange for your help with other things." Raquel heard how Alicia burst into an evil laugh that made her shudder.

"YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT?!" Alicia laughed. "Do you really think I'll buy into the story that you will not only help me escape, but will share the gold with me?!”

"I'm serious." Raquel assured her firmly. "The band hates you, so don't expect us to welcome you with open arms, but they are willing to help you and share the gold with you only if you leave Sergio free to continue with the plan."

"And how do I know that this is not a trap?"

"Because I am assuring you, you have my word."

"Your word is worthless to me."

"I swear on Paula. From mother to mother, I swear I'm telling the truth. You help us, and we help you.”

Silence again.

"I'll think about it."

"Alicia."

"I said I'll think about it."

“Hurry up, because we don't have much time. I fear that the GEOs will come in at any moment, we need you to help us buy time.”

"Give me an hour and I'll get in touch with you."

"Alicia, wait! Can I... can I talk to Sergio? At least listen to his voice, know that he's okay, please… this is me begging.”

"Hmm..." Alicia seemed to be pondering it, "okay, so the band won't say I'm a heartless bitch, and for the good old days."

Raquel sighed in relief, her heart thrilled to hear Sergio's voice after so long. She hadn't heard his voice since that "Raquel, what I want is to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Raquel!"

Raquel couldn't help but sigh when she finally heard Sergio's voice. Even if he only said her name he sounded short of breath, tired and for a moment she feared it was too late, that Alicia had already mortally hurt him.

"Sergio! How are you? Please tell me you're okay.  She said pleadingly.

“I'm fine, I'm perfectly fine. I'm so happy to hear your voice again, for a moment I was afraid that..."

“Don't think about it now, we'll get through this, I swear. I won’t give up."

“I know you won't. I won't do it either, I won’t give up on you, on us."

"We will get through this."

"We will get through this." Sergio assured her.

"Sergio." Raquel brought her hand to her belly, "I... I love you."

"I lo—"

"Ok, that was enough." Alicia took the radio away from Sergio before he could finish telling Raquel that he loved her. "An hour, expect my call in an hour."

Raquel let out a sob, covering her hand in an attempt to muffle her crying so that no one outside would hear her. She just begged any divine or spiritual entity out there, the moon, the stars, luck or fate to please let them out of there alive.

Shortly after, she heard a small knock on the door that interrupted her in the midst of her melancholy. Immediately she wiped her face with the top of her hands and tried to put on a good face. But it was all written in her red and still watery eyes.

“Yes?!”

The door opened slowly, and Mónica's curls peeked in, followed by her distressed expression. “Can I come in?"

"Of course!"

Mónica came in and tentatively walked over to where Raquel was sitting, taking the spot next to her. "How did it go? Did she agree?”

Raquel shrugged, "I don't know, for a moment she didn't believe me, but then she sounded interested, she will call me in an hour to give me her answer."

"You who know her, do you think she will accept?"

“I don't know, I know her, or rather, I knew her, she is not the same person that I knew, but I have faith. As Tokio said, I made her see that we are her only option, for her safety and that of her child.”

"If her child doesn't convince her, I don't know what will." Mónica said.

"I know." Raquel answered solemnly, her mind immediately turning to Paula and…

"You miss her like crazy, don't you?" Mónica asked, interrupting her train of thoughts. “Your daughter."

Raquel smiled sadly, “more than anything and like never before. I'm here, and you can see me very composed, but… I can't stop thinking about her, if she's okay, if she's eating good, if she's sleeping good, if she feels lonely, if she misses me." With each word the tingling sensation in her nose and the lump in her throat grew bigger and bigger. "But, I think you better than anyone understands me, the same must happen to you with Cinci."

"Exactly the same. I know he is in good hands in the care of the monks, but he is in my thoughts all day, every day.”

“How was it?" Raquel asked. Mónica frowned at the ambiguity of her question, but Raquel couldn't contain herself, she needed to know how her experience of being pregnant in the middle of a heist had been like. Somehow she needed that ‘reassurance’ to know that, although it was certainly hard, everything turned out well in the end. "Yeah, how was it like being pregnant while they were holding you hostage?"

Mónica scratched her neck, denoting her discomfort at the question, remembering how she originally wanted to have an abortion. "You don't have to answer me if you don't want to." Raquel assured her.

"No, is not that. Well, you already know that I was the one who asked for the abortion pill.”

"I figured it out, was it because of the circumstances?”

"No. Well,” Mónica corrected herself, “a little, yeah. The main reason was… his father, it’s no secret that Denver is not his biological father, you know that, right?”

"Yeah, I know what happened with Mr. Roman." Raquel replied.

“But then, I don't know, something changed, the circumstances were so extreme, I was shot in the leg, I was just concentrating on surviving, so I put my pregnancy in the back of my mind. I didn't think about it at all, until I was outside the mint, in a filthy hangar. That's when everything downed on me, I was pregnant and I would go who knows where with a fugitive, but you know? I don’t regret anything."

Raquel bit her lip to keep from crying there in front of Mónica. Put it in the back of her mind. That's what she wanted to do, but she couldn't. The idea was like an annoying buzzing in her head. Perhaps what she needed was confirmation.

”Yeah," she mumbled with a tight smile, "you and Denver look so happy."

Mónica chuckled a little sad, "right now we're far from okay, I just want to get out of this place, this damn place will end our relationship."

Raquel gave her a knowing expression, she felt exactly the same, she had so many things to solve with Sergio, but first she had to get out of there, they had to get out of there. She couldn't believe that now, to the problems they already had, one more would possibly be added.

When did a child go from being a new possibility to a problem? They never spoke about children, she didn’t know what Sergio's position was going to be at such life changing news. It was a child, a lifelong responsibility, a human life that they would have to care for, educate, and love. What if he didn't want to? What if he took it as another betrayal, another crack in his plan?

"Mónica." She croaked, she could feel the cry building inside her, "Can I… can I tell you something?"

"Of course!”

"It's something very serious, and I'd like to keep it between the two of us, so I’d understand if you don't want to carry a secret in the midst of these crazy circumstances."

Mónica could see how Raquel's voice cracked with each word, she clearly needed to talk to someone. She knew more than anyone how hard it was to feel alone and not have a friend to trust, to feel like the outcast of the band.

Mónica took Raquel's hands between hers, and looked into her eyes with all the tenderness. “You can trust me, Raquel. I want to think that we are friends, we are, aren't we?"

Raquel laughed in a sob, “of course, that's why I want to tell this to you. Don't take me wrong, I like Tokio, but… I know that you'll understand me better than anyone."

"I-I'll try, but what is it?"

Raquel took a deep breath. "I... I think I'm pregnant." Mónica couldn't hide her astonishment, for a moment she was speechless. "Yeah, that expression on your face? It's how my whole body feels."

“Oh my god, Raquel, I… I don't know what to say to you, I mean… are you… happy? Sad? Scared? Or…"

"All of the above. I don't know what to think, I don't know how to feel, I'm not even sure I'm pregnant, maybe it's just stress, I mean, I'm not your age, I'm 43, and if I am, what if something goes wrong? What if I lose it? What if...? Raquel couldn't hold it anymore and collapsed in front of Mónica who immediately took her in her arms, like an empathic friend, then she had an idea.

"Raquel, do you really want to know if you are pregnant?" Mónica asked her.

"I-I..." She thought about it, did she really want to know? If she wasn't, she was afraid of being disappointed, one way or another, despite the circumstances she found herself in, the idea of a new baby made her feel warm inside. But if she was, her anxiety and stress would probably skyrocket, dreading every step she took, dreading losing it, dreading not being able to see Sergio's face when she gave her the, hopefully, good news. "Do we have a way of knowing?”

“Yes, I think so. Well, we have medical equipment, if I'm not wrong we have stethoscopes, a doppler, a blood pressure monitor and an ultrasound machine. Also, one of the hostages was a nurse and a midwife, she took care of Nairobi when… you know. I think she could help us, help you."

"Is she trustworthy? I don't want this to get out of here, Mónica. I don't want the rest to find out and see me as weak and incompetent for the simple fact of being pregnant, because I can assure you that that will not be the case. I don't know if I can put it in the back of my head, but if not, I will use it as fuel, to get us all out of here, to free Sergio, to see his face when I tell him.”

"I know. And everything will be worthy, you will see it, when you see his face you will know that it will all have been worth it.” Mónica encouraged her.

"Although... I'm still afraid he won't take the news well." Raquel spoke her insecurities.

“Honestly? I don't think so, the Professor is head over heels for you, and, do you remember that day when we were talking about babies, and Cincinnati’s birth and the story behind his name? You should’ve seen the looks he gave you, he is going to love this baby, and who knows, maybe it will also serve him as fuel.”

Raquel smiled in the midst of her multiple fears, “yeah, maybe,” then she laughed, “but we're already talking as if everything was confirmed. Can you… can you go get that woman and bring her here?"

"Of course!" Mónica exclaimed.

"And you know, none of this to anyone."

“You don't have to ask, I won’t say anything. It's a secret between the two of us." She gave her a squeeze on the leg. "I'll be right back."

"And if someone asks for me, tell them that everything is under control."

Mónica nodded and hurried out of the governor's office, went in search of Paquita, the midwife, and medical equipment and immediately returned to where Raquel was waiting.

When both women entered the office, Raquel was not sitting on the sofa where Mónica had left her, however, sounds were coming from inside the bathroom that indicated that she was there, throwing up.

"Wait here." Mónica told Paquita and went to see Raquel.

She was kneeling in front of the toilet, gagging. Mónica rushed to her side, held her hair back, gently stroking her back and shushing her sweetly while Raquel threw up.

"Sorry, sorry." Raquel apologized to Mónica when she finished.

"You have nothing to apologize for, I understand."

"I think it's a bit pointless to do the checkup, don't you think?"

"It's up to you."

Raquel sighed, got up from the floor and rinsed her mouth in the sink. "Let's do it."

When they came out, Paquita was looking around, examining the Governor's ostentatious office.

"Putting our taxes to good use!" The woman joked.

Mónica tried to smile, but Raquel looked at her with a deadpan expression.

"Okay!" Raquel exclaimed, "so you are a nurse and a midwife."

"I was, yes."

Raquel and Mónica exchanged a look, the latter gave her a nod.

Raquel tried to be firm, strong and cold before the woman. Show her authority, and yes, impose some fear, but she didn't want that woman to get out of there and run her tongue among the hostages.

"The thing is... first of all, can I be sure that what we talk here stays here?"

"Of course, ma’am!” Paquita assured her.

"Ok... it happens... it happens that I think I'm pregnant." Raquel gave the woman a few seconds to observe her reaction, but she seemed unimpressed. Although after everything she had already seen in there, a pregnancy was perhaps the least shocking. “I think I'm pregnant, she told me that you were a nurse and a midwife and I would like you to help me to confirm or dismiss my suspicions.”

"Of course! I'll do my best, although if you want we can call the governor, he—”

"No!" Raquel and Mónica exclaimed at the same time.

"No," Raquel repeated, "the less people know about this, the better."

"Ok," the woman agreed, "well, let's start with the basics, your blood pressure and your—"

"No, no, no," Raquel interrupted her again, taking the ultrasound machine, "just get to the point."

"As you like, ma'am. I don't have much experience with these machines, but I will do my best. You can start by taking off your mono and lying on the sofa.”

Raquel did as Paquita told her, she took off her mono down to her hips, leaned back on the sofa and lifted her black t-shirt, staring at the ceiling. Mónica took a chair and placed it next to her, taking her hand.

"I'll start by doing a little palpation, if you don't mind."

"Just do what you have to do." Raquel answered flatly, without looking at anyone, her gaze fixed on a small crack in the ceiling.

Paquita rubbed her hands together and placed it on Raquel's midsection, making her shudder slightly. Then began to move her hands and press on her lower belly. Raquel groaned when one of the pressures caused her a little discomfort.

"That hurts?" Paquita asked her.

"Not exactly, it was just uncomfortable."

"Okay. Well now I'll put some gel on your belly."

Raquel's mind was working so fast that she stopped paying attention to whatever Paquita was doing with her. She was feeling so many things that it was difficult to process each and every one of her emotions, it wasn't until… 

"Oh, there it is!" Paquita exclaimed with great joy.

Her words were like a blow to Raquel and if she was previously in shock, now, with the confirmation, it was even more so. She looked at Mónica, who was looking at her with a smile that reached her eyes, but when she saw Raquel's expression, it faded away.

Raquel propped up on her elbows to look at the small monitor of the ultrasound machine. She held her breath and took Mónica's hand tighter. Sure enough, there it was. The tiny figure, like a bean, barely formed but there. All the flood of emotions fell over her causing her to release a shaky sigh.

"How far along?" Raquel asked, in a low murmur.

"From the size I would say 8 or maybe even 10 weeks, do you remember when was your last period?”

Raquel shook her head slowly, her gaze fixed on the monitor. 8 or 9 weeks, she thought. If her calculations didn’t fail, 8 weeks ago they were in Italy, in the monastery, she and Sergio had quite memorable nights there.

But 10 weeks ago they were still in Palawan, the last days in that place, before Tokyo came to change everything.

She was furious for a few seconds, if none of this had happened, she and Sergio would still be living their quiet, simple and happy lives in the Philippines, she would still be with her mother and daughter, probably by now they would already know about the pregnancy. But she was there, in the middle of a heist, her mother and daughter who knows where, Sergio in the hands of Alicia, the police and the GEOs breathing on their napes. Fucking unfair life.

But she couldn't break down now. Now less than ever she needed to be the strong one. She was going to continue with the plan, for all those who were there, risking their lives. For Sergio, Paula and her mother. For her and for that baby.

Raquel took the throw blanket from the couch, wiped the gel off her belly, and got up, putting her mono back on and zipping it up. Mónica and Paquita looked at her confused.

"What?" She said matter of factly.

"I-I-I," Mónica stuttered, "are you-are you okay?"

"Better than ever. Now let's go, we have work to do."

Raquel turned around and left the office. She was going to end this heist as they planned, she was going to rescue Sergio, they were going to return home, to her mother, to her daughter and she was going to give him the good news, and they were going to be fine. She manifested it, for her, her family, her love and her life.

Chapter Text

"Raquel, wait!" Mónica ran after Raquel after she left when she found out about her condition. She grabbed her by the arm turning her around.

"Mónica." Raquel said in a warning tone. "Not you, please."

"I just… don't you want to take a few minutes to absorb the news?"

"Do you want us to get out of here? We don’t have time to lose. I wanted an answer and now I have it, now let's get to work, that gold is not going to melt by itself. Now you are in charge of that, I want the ovens working at their maximum capacity, at all hours, I don’t want dead hours,” Raquel cupped Mónica's face and looked her straight in the eyes, “I trust you, we've got this, let's go!"

Monica hurried out to the ovens and Raquel joined the rest of the band to wait for Alicia's call.

Raquel felt… strange. In the blink of an eye the perspective of everything around her changed, and everything turned to survive and protect. Survive and protect others, protect herself and protect her baby.

And although she was a little scared, like practically any woman who has just found out that she’s pregnant, as she was when she found out about Paula, having an answer lifted a big weight off her shoulders. Now she knew what she was dealing with, and she was confident too, she trusted Sergio, she trusted the band and she trusted herself. She felt capable of getting everyone out of there alive, just as the plan indicated. She was brave, she was strong, and her condition wasn't going to change that at all.

"So... what did that bitch tell you?" Palermo asked Raquel when he saw her arrive. But she was so caught up in her own mind that she didn't hear his question. “Lisboa!” He snapped and she looked at him startled.

"Oh, she-she will call me in an hour or so to give me an answer."

"Do you think she’ll accept?" Tokio asked, “what did you tell her?"

Raquel shrugged, Alicia was unpredictable, but something inside her told her that she was going to accept. Delusion? Maybe, but she still trusted that inside her was still that friend that she had been so many years ago. "I don't know, I hope so, I think she sounded interested. How are things going outside?”

"Quiet." Helsinki said, "or so it seems, I don't see much movement."

"We shouldn't trust them," Raquel pointed out, "they may just be planning the next attack."

"Then we will meet them with fire back!" Denver exclaimed.

"No, no, no more fire at the moment." Raquel replied, “not unless it is extremely necessary. Besides... I don't think they’ll want to continue with the same tactic seeing how it hasn't worked out so far."

"You know there’ll be more fire..." Palermo said, giving her a knowing look, “or we won't get out of here."

"I know." Raquel mumbled.

“What's Palermo talking about?" Tokio intervened.

With the exception of Palermo, Sergio and Raquel, nobody else knew about the escape plan, as well as the extraction of the gold. They preferred to keep it on petit comité, fearing it would get out of hand.

It was a double-edged sword. With the whole band on the same page, there were less chances that the plans would fail. But Palermo had everything so meticulously calculated and planned before even meeting them, that, if letting Sergio and Raquel in on his secret was hard, doing it with the rest of the band was even more so. He wasn’t going to let anything or anyone ruin his, and Andres’s, perfect plan.

Raquel and Palermo shared a look again, but said nothing, the rest of the band looked at them expectantly.

"Talk!" Tokio demanded. "The least you can do is tell us how we're going to get out of here, because no one besides you has a fucking idea how that’ll be like!”

"Tokio, in due course you will know what to do." Raquel tried to explain.

"No, not later, now!" She insisted. "We are all here, risking our butts, at least have the decency to let us know how we will get out of this!"

“Kid!" Palermo snapped his fingers repeatedly, drawing her attention. "If we say that everything in due time, it is because it will be in due time, everything is perfectly planned and I will not allow you to spoil everything in a tantrum."

"Well, I'm with Tokio." Denver said, “I need to know how we will get out of here, I have a son, I need to be sure that Mónica and I will go back to him. You said we are a team, Lisboa."

"And we are!" She assured them.

"Then tell us!" Tokio demanded.

"We will do it! Just give us some time, first we need to be sure that Sergio will be free from Alicia to help us, if not, it doesn't matter that you know the plan, we won't be able to carry it out."

Tokio gave Raquel a narrowed look, but seemed to accept her answer, then turned to Palermo. "Don't you ever call me a kid again!”

Right at that moment, the radio rang, everyone held their breath.

"It's her." Tokio said and Raquel nodded.

Raquel took a deep breath, inside her everything trembled, but outside she remained stoic.

"Alicia."

"Are you alone?"

"I am." She lied.

Alicia huffed. "I know you're not, but it doesn't matter, better this way, let your whole little band listen to me."

"So?"

"Oh, Raquel, Raquel... you really are going out of your way for these people, aren't you?”

Raquel looked at everyone around her. Yes, she was going out of her way for these people, who were now her people. "Why do you even care what I do or don't do for them?"

"I don't care, I just find it hilarious." Alicia answered nonchalantly. "Just tell me one thing before I give you my answer, do you trust these people? Do you trust them to risk their butts for you, too?"

"I do, I trust them." Raquel answered in a heartbeat, again looking at everyone. They all gave her an encouraging smile and a nod.

"And we would." Tokio intervened looking directly at Raquel, "we would risk everything for her, too. That’s what family does, but what do you know about family?”

"How cute are you all." Alicia scoffed.

"Just tell us what your answer is, Alicia!"

On the other end of the line Alicia sighed heavily, "I just want to warn you, don't try any silly games on me."

"I gave you my word." Raquel stated.

"Yeah, yeah, I know ... and I trust you, Raquel, only you."

But this time there was no mocking tone in her voice, there was something else, something that only Raquel knew, it was honesty, she spoke from the heart, the Alicia she knew was talking.

“I will make sure that everything I told you is carried out to the letter. I’m in charge."

"Okay." Alicia replied, "I have something for you, I think it will help you."

They all looked at each other excited and amazed at the same time. Raquel released the air that she didn't know she was still holding. Unconsciously, she brought her hand to her midsection, her entire being still quivering inside.

"What is it?" Raquel asked, trying to hide her emotion.

“A video, you'll see. Just tell me where or how to get it to you."

"Ask Sergio, he will know what to do."

“Raquel… can you turn off the speaker? I need to say something only to you.”

Everyone shook their head, they wanted to be aware of the conversation. But Raquel noticed that tone in Alicia's voice again. She turned off the speaker and walked a few steps away from them.

"Tell me. It's just you and me." Raquel assured her. There were a few seconds of silence.

“I know you probably hate me at this point, but… I'm not a bitch, you know? For you I am still the same Alicia as always. But just for you."

A lump that she couldn’t control formed in Raquel's throat, and although she swallowed it immediately, she couldn’t escape the flood of memories from the past that completely invaded her mind. All those good times she had with Alicia since she met her that first day at the police academy.

They were the only women in the entire class, so their friendship was pretty much predictable. Women stick together. Especially in that world, a man's world in which they were making their way, they had to lift each other up, and they did, from start to finish, until life led them down different paths.

“Alicia," Raquel muttered, "why?" The meaning behind that 'why' was implied. Why? Why had she done everything she did? Maybe she would never know.

“Anyway!" Alicia exclaimed, shaking off the melancholy, “your professor is fine, all things considered. If he does a good job I might let you talk to him later. We are in touch, wait for the video, bye.”

Strangely, Raquel felt an emptiness when finishing the call with Alicia, and it wasn’t because she hadn’t been able to speak to Sergio again, but because she hadn’t been able to continue speaking with Alicia. She knew better than anyone how difficult pregnancy was, she had gone through it, and she was going through it again. Also, considering her circumstances, Germán dead, the police after her, surely she needed someone to talk to, someone to unload everything that she had been carrying inside probably for months.

"What did she say?!" Tokio questioned her.

"No-nothing, it was... it was, she put me with Sergio."

"AND WHAT DID HE SAY?!"

“Nothing, nothing related to the plan. It was personal, but he's fine."

"Ok, good... the bitch is going to help us, so everything continues as we had planned.” Palermo said. “I think now is the time to take you with the rest of the hostages.”

"Would you give me a few minutes?" Raquel asked, "I'm going to the toilet and I'll be right back."

"Don't take too long, we still have to keep an eye out there."

Raquel nodded and went to the toilet. She entered and closed the door, leaning against it and then sliding to the floor, releasing a shaky sigh that later turned into tears, but this time, accompanied by a big smile. The plan was back on track, Sergio was fine and she… she was pregnant.

Finally, in the solitude of that cold Bank of Spain toilet, she allowed everything to down on her and allowed herself to release everything. She was pregnant, a tiny little life, half her, half Sergio, was growing inside her. She felt thrilled, she felt scared, she felt longing… she, pregnant, again.

She brought her hands to her lower belly, closing her eyes and recalling the image she had seen only a moment ago on the small monitor of the ultrasound machine. Her little baby was there, growing. Paula would be a big sister. She couldn't help but laugh, remembering how many times Paula, in her innocence, begged her for a little sibling, without her knowing that her parents were far from wanting it and that the circumstances around her were the least adequate to bring a new life into this world.

She remembered how the little girl used to place her hand on her belly and ask her if one day she would have a baby sibling, or if there was already one in there, without knowing that the only thing that was under her mom’s shirt was the bruises that Alberto had left her in the most recent beating.

She circled her arms around her belly, protectively. And yes, the present circumstances were not the best either, but they were temporary, she trusted that they would come out of there, she was sure, she trusted herself and her ability to bring the plan to an optimal end, she trusted that in a couple of weeks all that would be a thing of the past, that they would be in a new place, a new country, safe, healthy, happy and ready to welcome someone else to their little family.

Raquel allowed herself to think about Paula's reaction, her dream of a little sibling would finally come true. She thought of her mother's reaction, her poor mother who might forget it every day, but she would be more than happy to remind her over and over again if it meant that each time she would see her huge smile of happiness knowing that she would be a grandmother again. She thought about Sergio's reaction, she laughed just imagining his stunned expression and imagining his overprotective self all freaked out, wanting to have everything under control all the time.

But especially she thought of herself, of what this pregnancy meant to her. She had already done it once, but still the idea was daunting and made her shudder. But she knew she could do it, she could with that and more. And that baby would be the perfect ending to all that ordeal, her final victory. The idea of directing the biggest heist in history while pregnant made her want to scream with laughter, when normally everyone would think that she would be weak and vulnerable, she was supervising the melting of Spain’s gold reserves. Weak their balls!

Raquel let out one last loud cackle and got up from the floor, going back to join the band with a huge smile on her lips. She had this.

Chapter Text

It was late. A heavy and overpowering shadow of cold, darkness and loneliness swept all over the Bank of Spain. But it was all an illusion, it was enough to take a look at the window to realize that they were not alone, beyond the police and the army, there was another army of people still at the foot of the canyon, waving banners in support, wearing red jumpsuits and Dalí mask, shouting their names.

Raquel looked at the tumult from the dimness of the shadows, imagining that Sergio was under one of those masks, that he was free and that he was ready to flee with them as soon as Palermo indicated. But she knew he wasn't there.

She sighed heavily and ran her hand through her hair. Again she felt that this was bigger than her. The exhaustion, the cold and the darkness were swallowing her up and making her doubt herself and her competense again. They had barely solved one problem when 3 more had cropped up. The hostages were restless and threatened to rise up. Then there was Arturo Roman, who had abused a hostage, one more reason why they were upset. And to finish, there was Gandía, she didn’t know what to do with him now that he had already fulfilled his role, what should she do? Kill him? She wanted to, but she wasn't a murderer, but then again, he had killed Nairobi. Eye for an eye.

"You cannot sleep?" Palermo's voice echoed out of the shadows of the corridor.

"Can you?"

"No. I haven't slept since we came here."

“We should at least get some rest. Sleep deprivation can affect our judgment. This has to be perfect.”

"I don't see you resting either."

Raquel didn’t answer. She leaned against the wall and looked up at the ceiling. "What are we going to do?" She muttered.

"Do with what?" Palermo frowned.

“The hostages, Arturo, Gandía. I don't want any more blood, Martín." She said his name, as if that way her words had more weight and made it clear that she wanted a heist as clean as possible, or, at least, without blood on her hands. As if the trembling in her voice didn't give away how terrified she was.

"What do you propose? Because Helsinki is ready to pull the trigger."

"No. He can't do that." Raquel warned.

"Why not?!" Palermo scolded. "Do you have any idea how he feels right now?"

"I can imagine."

"Don't underestimate the extent of grief, Raquel." Now he said her name. "Grief can lead us to do the unimaginable... or ask Sergio." She gave him a questioning look, but he refused to delve into the subject. "I'm not asking you to do the work." Palermo clarified, "but don't judge whether, or, rather, when Helsinki does."

Palermo was right. Only Helsinki knew how he felt and the depth and complexity of his grief, she was nobody to question it so if he wanted to apply an eye for an eye, let it be.

"So..." Raquel sighed, "let Helsinki act accordingly."

"I'll let him know. And don't worry about Roman, I mean, he'll get what he deserves. Let's just focus on what's important now, getting out of here with the gold. Nothing more."

"Get out of here and reunite with Sergio, too.”

"That too. Now, you better go rest, you look like hell, I think you deserve and need to rest."

In that he was also right, she should go to rest. She couldn't remember the last time she'd slept for more than a couple of hours straight. She and her baby needed their rest, they were going to need it when the moment came to get out of there. Just thinking about it made her shudder.

"You don't look very good either." Raquel joked a bit to lighten the heavy moment.

"What are you talking about? I look fabulous!" Palermo went with the flow and Raquel chuckled. “If you want good news, we are very close to melting all the gold… give it 3 or 4 hours, then we will start the extraction. If everything goes as planned, by tomorrow after noon we will be out of here.”

Raquel couldn't help stifling a sigh. Noon. Just a few hours from getting out of there, just a few hours from meeting the love of her life again and finally letting all this behind and never looking back.

"Are you sure?" She wanted assurance, it seemed too good to be true. Nothing was that easy.

“Estocolmo and Bogotá are doing an impeccable job. Now go, take a few hours of sleep, when we are ready for the extraction I will call you… and we will call Sergio."

Raquel bit her lip in an attempt to contain her emotions inside her. Noon. She only had to hold out for a few more hours. "Good night, Palermo.” Was all she could say and then pat his shoulder, and turn around to go to rest.

"I was lying." Palermo said out of nowhere and Raquel turned to look at him confused, momentarily freezing at the thought that he was referring to the gold and the escape. “You don't look like hell. I can see why Sergio wanted to send it all to hell." Raquel relaxed, blushed, and gave him a coy smile. "Rest, I'll take care of everything."

Raquel went to one of the rooms where they slept and closed the door behind her, locking the latch. On the sofa were a pair of folded blankets and a pillow. She settled them, but before laying down she unzipped her jumpsuit and slid it down to her hips, looking down and lovingly caressing her stomach with both hands.

She smiled widely, then brought her hands up to her lower back and leaned back, every muscle in her back protesting angrily. She then repeated the action but forward, bringing her hands to the tips of her boots. Raquel sighed and sat down to untie and remove her boots and socks, groaning when her feet were finally free of the bulky, heavy footwear. When she leaned back she stared at the ceiling, one hand under her head and the other rubbing gently around her belly.

“We are going to get out of here, mi amor. I swear." Raquel whispered, caressing her belly. Trying to find comfort in the knowledge that her and Sergio's child was growing there. She needed to hold on to whatever gave her strength to endure the hours that still lay ahead in that place and she found in her child an endless source of courage and empowerment.

"And when this is all over and we're out there, we're going to give Daddy a big, big surprise, and I'm sure he'll be thrilled and then..." She took a few seconds to compose her voice and swallow the lump in her throat, “then we will meet with your big sister, Paula, and grandma Mariví. They will also be very excited to know about you. And together we will go to a beautiful place, with beautiful beaches as blue as the sky, and sand as soft and white as clouds, palm trees and sunny days and breezy nights... and we are going to love you so, so much... I just need you to hang in there,” Raquel whimpered, “hang in there and in less time than you imagine we'll be out of here and in daddy's arms.”

These last words said more to herself than to her unborn child. She couldn't wait to be out of there and to run straight into Sergio's arms and kiss him until their lips burst. She just had to hang in there a little longer. Noon.

—————————————————————

Life can change in an instant

Never had such an ordinary phrase been so true, although in Raquel's case, her life, for a long time, was a constant of unexpected changes, unexpected turns in her life that marked a before and after. Like when she found out that she was pregnant with Paula, or when Alberto gave her the first slap. Then that peculiar stranger at the Hanoi, offering to use his cellphone, the night they spent in his warehouse... his offer to go live together on the beach... that red hair in his jacket... a coordinate puzzle behind a set of postcards.

All these events, some sweet, others bitter, marked a watershed in her life that in some way or another had led her to be where she was now... scared to death behind a trench, shooting at the army.

Estocolmo was a few meters away from her, Bogotá was assisting Helsinki whose leg was bullet wound, meanwhile Palermo was covering them both by opening fire.

Everything had happened so fast that she still didn’t assimilate how a few minutes ago she was sleeping, and now she was in the most similar thing to a war that she had been in. She only had to wait until noon, but now that plan had changed. 

Their mistake was to lower their ward, to think the army wouldn’t come in, but they surprised them just at the crack of dawn. Debris, stones, fire and bullets flew around her, this was the end of the world and she could almost swear it was her end, too.

Everyone was giving their all and in Raquel's mind the only thing at that moment was to win this, nothing more and nothing else. Suddenly, everyone was enveloped in a thick smoke cloud that didn’t allow them to see more than a couple of meters away.

"They are retreating to the museum!" Palermo informed them through the earpiece.

“This is the moment,” Lisboa replied, “we have them cornered. Rio, the iron gates, you close them at my command and the others, have your grenades ready!”

The plan was to lock them inside the museum, behind the thick iron doors of the security system that they had discovered and which Rio had managed to hack into, just before the doors were closed, they would roll the grenades inside. So, they had to be in perfect sync, despite the smoke that was barely dispersing, they couldn't even open the windows fearing that outside the snipers could see their position.

"Ready!" Raquel yelled. "At my command, 3... 2... NOW!"

They all threw their respective grenades just as the doors were about to close. Seconds later, a huge explosion shook everything there. Pieces of glass and debris from the roof fell over all of them, accompanied by some rocks.

"Raquel!" Monica yelled at her, "You're bleeding!"

Even before Monica mentioned it, she already knew. The metallic taste in her mouth had come moments after she felt a rock hit her face. Her nose and mouth were bleeding. But there was no time to worry about it now.

"I know, but it's nothing." Raquel answered without mentioning the blow on her back that had tackled her down and which she did care about.

She didn't feel any pain that made her bend over, but she did feel a tingling sensation and some wetness between her legs.

"EVERYONE, LET'S GO!" Palermo gave the order. “Rio, Denver, help Helsinki. Bogotá, Tokyo come with me, we will start with the extraction. Lisboa, Monica, inform us of any situation out there!”

But Raquel had drifted off. Blood was still running down her nose and mouth, but all she could think about was that peculiar sensation in her midsection.

"Raquel, Raquel!" Monica insisted.

Raquel just turned around and left, walking through the dark corridors of the bank until she reached one of the closest bathrooms.

She walked straight to one of the sinks and looked at her reflection, her face completely stained with blood. She touched her nose and hissed when she felt the heat of pain radiate to her cheekbones and forehead. Then, she looked at her lower lip, her teeth were stamped on her flesh and jets of blood emanated from her wounds.

Raquel closed her eyes for an instant, her head was flooded with the memory of Sergio, the soft tips of his fingers tracing a path from her forehead to her nose to which his lips later joined, trapping hers in a hungry kiss. That was the way he liked to wake her up.

Without wanting to go further into that dark forest that now was her memories, she opened the faucet and wiped the blood from her face as much as she could. But minutes later she was interrupted by a door slam. Instinctively, she directed her hand to the weapon she carried on her hip, but she relaxed when she met Monica's shocked face.

"Are you okay?!”

"Yes, yes, sorry." She took some paper to wipe her face. "It's just that the blow to my face stunned me a bit, that's all."

Mónica walked over to her and inspected her face. Despite rinsing it, a thin trickle of blood still ran down one of her nostrils and needless to say from her mouth.

“I think you will need some stitches on that lip. Come on, I'll help you with that."

"No." Raquel declined her offer. "I'm fine, seriously." Monica gave her a knowing look and she sighed. "Ok, but first let me… let me go to the toilet."

“Sure. I'll wait for you out here."

Raquel went into one of the cubicles and closed the door. She leaned against the door, trying to calm her breathing, trying to absorb what was happening, feeling that warm sensation in her crotch.

Slowly and with trembling hands, Raquel unzipped her mono, letting it fall at her feet, the exposure to the cold air of that bathroom made her shudder. She didn't want to look down. Then, she took her underwear and did the same, the heavy, wet piece of cloth sticking to her skin. Inevitably, when she sat on the toilet, she looked down and there she could no longer contain it.

Her underwear was completely stained bright red. Red as deep as the pain she was feeling in that moment. She knew that she shouldn’t get attached, she knew that this could happen, but how to avoid it? The moment she saw that tiny figure and knew that life was growing inside her, half her, half the love of her life, it was impossible not to do so. She pictured an entire life with Sergio, Paula, her mother and the new baby, a sunny beach and a beautiful house. She dreamed of it, she planned to do it until noon, but noon never came.

Her gaze clouded in an instant and she brought her hands to her mouth to silence a sob, closing her eyes tightly, as if wanting to block that image from her gaze.

She knew perfectly well that bleeding in pregnancy was normal, but not like this. In her pregnancy with Paula, she had had quite similar bleeding, no considerable pain, just the bleeding, but still her OB sent her straight to bedrest for almost two weeks. No work, no hanging around. Good moment to find herself in a similar situation, right in the middle of a war. Raquel couldn't help but think about what all this would be like if she, if they, were in Palawan. Poor Sergio would surely be a basket case along with her.

They should be on that island. She knew she might sound selfish, but they had no business in that war. For an instant she even felt some resentment against Sergio, she felt that he had put everyone before their family. And yes, no one had forced her to go and she had supported him, but deep down she knew that with or without her support, he was going to leave that beautiful island to go save one of his family.

“¿Cuando has sido tú la protagonista?”

She remembered Alicia's words.

"Raquel! Raquel, are you okay?" Mónica knocked on the door interrupting her train of thought.

Quickly, wiping her face, she grabbed a few pieces of paper, wiped off the blood as much as she could, and within seconds she was out of the toilet stall.

Without even being able to control it, as soon as she saw Monica's face, her eyes filled with tears again. "I'm bleeding." She blurted out in a sob.

Monica's heart sank at the sight of her crying. "Come here cariño, come here." She took her hand and led her to one of the sofas and sat next to her.

Monica could feel her hands cold, sweaty, and shaking. All of her trembled. She had never seen her so shocked and vulnerable, for her, despite how little she knew her, Raquel was the face of composure, and right now she was far from that.

"It's happening... right?" Raquel sobbed.

“We don't know, these things happen. I had some bleeding when I was pregnant with Cincinnati. You know this is normal." Monica was trying to cheer her up.

"Yeah, the bleeding is normal, but..."

"How do you feel? Do you feel any pain?"

"I... I was so caught up in everything that I didn't feel a thing, but... but now I'm feeling slight cramping.”

"But it's very light, right?!" Monica even tried to smile.

Raquel tried so hard to stifle a sob. She looked down at her lap, a dark stain beginning to peek into her mono. She no longer felt the pain from her busted lip or from her nose, all she could feel was a dull pain in her chest.

Both continued talking, mainly Monica gave words of encouragement when suddenly, the sound of a big explosion echoed everything in the bank again and only at that moment, Raquel was able to react out of her trance of pain. Again, small stones and dust fell in front of their eyes.

"I hate to say this but… you know what's next, we have to go now!” Monica said.

Raquel knew what was coming, down in the vaults, the workers were surely finishing the extraction. It was time to go, to get out of there. It was time to embark on that journey back to Sergio. But what was she going to tell him? How was she going to look into his eyes and tell him that they had lost a child that he didn’t even know existed and whom she had known and grown fond of just a few hours ago.

—————————————————————————

They knew. When Palermo let them know about the exit plan they knew that it would be difficult, risky and with a high probability of dying in the attempt. But they never imagined it was going to be this way.

From one moment to the next it was as if the sky opened over their heads and they were engulfed by a huge cloud of smoke, screams and blood. Explosions, fire and debris. An Apocalypse of biblical magnitudes resting on the skies of Madrid and destroying everything in its path.

They looked into each other's eyes. Trying to keep a cool head in the midst of such overwhelming circumstances. Fear paralyzed and shook them at the same time. Their survival instincts were working at their best. It was only minutes, but in everyone's minds, it seemed like hours. Hours and hours excruciatingly slow.

There were moments when everything seemed lost. Where they were about to give up. But there was still a flame within them that encouraged them to keep fighting and reach to the end. The promised ending. And they did it. With some bruises, scrapes and broken bones. Despite the forecasts, despite the "less than 40% chance of getting out alive," they did. The fall of Nairobi hung heavily over them, but for her and her memory they had come to the end.

Everyone was silent, a deathly silence. They couldn't even look into each other's eyes. The euphoria of having left the Bank of Spain with the gold had diminished when everyone noticed the vacant seat in the minibus where Marsella was transporting them to the place where Sergio, and Alicia, would be waiting for them.

Helsinki had killed Gandía, slowly, painfully, and ruthlessly. And although there was a gleam of satisfaction in his eyes as he did so, there was also deep emptiness, the emptiness that his companion and his accomplice had left in him and in all the members of that dysfunctional family.

"We won't even be able to have her corpse." Helsinki said with deep pain in his voice, his hand on his chest, as if his heart ached.

"We shouldn't have turned her in.” Tokyo grunted angrily between clenched teeth.

"It was what the Profesor ordered us to do." Estocolmo said.

Tokyo scoffed. “For him it was very easy. He didn't think Helsinki, or I, were going to want to give her a proper goodbye. What if it had been you?!” She looked at Raquel. The aggressive way she said it took her by surprise and Tokio could see it in her wide eyes. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… but why?!" She burst into tears and Rio wrapped his arms around her to comfort her.

"This was all my fault." Rio said. “Nairobi died because of me. You were in danger of dying because of me. It was all my fault.”

And nobody contradicted him.

"Maybe if you had accepted that Tokyo is a free woman none of this would have happened." Denver sneered. “I would be with my child. The Professor would be with Lisboa in that cute little house by the beach. Tokyo would be living the crazy life her way and Nairobi would be alive!”

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen!" Rio cried.

"The Professor was very clear, no phones!" Denver retorted, pointing furiously at him.

"GUYS, GUYS!" Raquel intervened. “It is useless blaming each other. We all made mistakes, but will blaming us bring her back alive? No. Now, the best we can do is honor her memory, because nothing will bring her back alive... We all lost something in this heist."

Again the silence settled on everyone inside the bus and no one said a word again until they reached one of their multiple destinations to change vehicles. There was still a long way to go before reaching their final destination, where Raquel would meet Sergio.

She dozed in her seat, her head resting on the glass and hugging herself, her arms productively around her midsection, hoping, wishing that there was still something to protect.

Suddenly her eyes snapped open and an overwhelming wave of nausea traveled up and down her esophagus, making her gag. She covered her mouth and quickly got up from her seat going to Marsella to ask him to stop the bus.

As soon as he pulled over and opened the doors, Raquel jumped down and hurried over to a thicket by the side of the road and leaned over to vomit. The nausea was so overpowering that it even made her lose her balance and she swayed from side to side slightly.

Seeing the action from inside the bus, Monica ran after her. Once by her side, she held her hair and stroked her back as she continued to empty all the bile that came out of her.

When it seemed she had finished, Monica offered her a cloth and a bottle of water. Raquel cleaned herself up and rinsed her mouth and then took a big gulp from the bottle of water that in seconds her stomach returned.

"We should go back." Raquel said between gags. "We have practically time counted."

"Take your time, you don't want to throw up on the bus."

"I feel better now." She inhaled and exhaled. "Only my head is spinning like crazy."

"Hey you!" Palermo yelled as he walked towards them. "This really isn't the time for a picnic in the countryside."

"Just a second." Monica said.

"C'mon, Lisboa. Don't tell me that a little road trip makes you nauseous!" He chuckled. "Either that or... you're pregnant."

The moment Palermo caught the nervous glances Raquel and Mónica shared, his mocking expression faded away….

Chapter Text

"Why didn't you say anything before?" Palermo questioned Lisboa while the two shared a heartfelt talk sitting on a rock while Bogotá and Marsella changed the tire of the bus that had gone flat after so many hours driving through the most inhospitable roads of the Spanish countryside.

"What difference would it have made?" Raquel shrugged, staring at her hands, playing with a hair tie.

"Really? What difference would it have made? We would’ve protected you!”

Raquel scoffed. “That was exactly what I didn't want. Let them see me as a weak and useless woman just because of my condition."

"Sergio knew about this?"

"No." Raquel said in a sigh. “I didn't even know about it until yesterday. I suspected it, but it was only until yesterday that I had the confirmation."

"How are you feeling now? Are you in pain? Are you still… bleeding?"

"Not anymore. I just have this weird feeling, like a very mild cramp, but I honestly don't know if it's just anxiety or…” She exhaled sharply.

“At the hangar there will be a doctor to give us all a checkup. If you want…” He trailed off. Raquel offered him a half smile.

"Whatever the final diagnosis is, I don't know how I'll tell Sergio."

"Did you and Sergio never talk about having children?" Palermo questioned her.

She sighed. "Not quite. We did it a couple of times, but it was very superficial, more like a casual conversation, nothing serious. I mean, we are not getting any younger so... also with my mother's illness and being sought by justice worldwide, I think our conditions were not the best to bring a child into the world so we never talked about it seriously or actively tried to get pregnant."

"I understand."

"Right now all I want is to reunite with Sergio, my daughter and my mother." She almost sobbed.

"Well, Sergio is just a few hours away from us, and... your mother and daughter will be arriving at the monastery at any moment."

"Really?!" Raquel's face lit up with a big smile.

Palermo nodded. "The transporter contacted Marsella a couple of hours ago, I wasn't supposed to tell you anything until they were completely safe there, but well."

“Oh, god!" Raquel covered her mouth in excitement.

She couldn't wait to finally have her little girl and her mother in her arms, this last couple of months had been the longest of her life away from them. Never in her life had she spent so much time away from them. Leaving them alone had showered her with a heavy feeling of guilt that would probably never go away. She couldn't stop thinking about how much her daughter might have missed her. Whether she needed her at night when she couldn't sleep because of some nightmare. If she felt alone and her grandma, her poor grandma with her mind clouded by Alzheimer, couldn’t be of much support to her in those lonely moments. She couldn't help but wonder if her daughter would reproach her for leaving her alone without any explanation, all she knew was that she was going on a "business trip." The hours that still remained to reunite with her were going to feel endless.

"And what about Sergio?" Raquel asked. "Do you know something about him?"

“Only that he and that crazy woman of Sierra managed to reach the meeting point thanks to the Serbs. All of them are there, waiting for us to arrive and then leave for the Monastery."

"Guys!" Bogotá interrupted them. "Let's go! We still have a couple of hours to go."

Raquel and Palermo returned to the bus and Marsella started the engine to cover the last stretch of the road that would lead them to meet Sergio.

Raquel's heart raced, she had only spent a couple of days away from him, but they felt like months to her. She was excited and scared alike. On the one hand, the exhilarating feeling when she thought of seeing him again, of throwing herself into his arms and crying and laughing with joy. But there was also trepidation, thinking of Sergio’s reaction to the news made her shudder.

The first rays of dawn began to illuminate the countryside, the dew drops that rested on the grassland reflected in soft sparks and the songs of the crickets ceased to give way to the first songs of the birds who woke up to a new day.

Raquel was sitting in the front seat of the mini bus, awake, her head working fast thinking of so many things but at the same time nothing. The tiredness was getting too much, her head had been in a constant throb for a little over an hour, her eyes were barely able to focus on what was in front of her coupled with an irritating sting.

There was a moment when she didn’t know if what her eyes registered was true or simply a vision product of her exhaustion, but she could swear that at the end of the road was the hangar.

"We have arrived." Marsella whispered next to her as he drove, accelerating a little more.

Raquel's breath got trapped in her throat, every part of her, every inch of her began to shiver, she felt hot and cold and dizzy. The thrill of knowing that Sergio was only a few meters from her. She was a few meters from being in his arms.

The moment Marsella pulled over, she jumped off the bus and rushed toward the hangar, her eyes scanning the place for her love.

As soon as her eyes met Sergio's, in a snap of her fingers she burst into tears. Tears of emotion, of love, of joy. She cried and walked quickly to where he was standing, the closer she was to him she managed to perceive how her teary eyes reflected his.

When she was within 10 meters away, she just ran towards him. They both joined in a hug, melting into each other’s arms, feeling every part of each other. All the words and all the kisses they both had wanted to share were summed up in that moment. They were really there, together again. Crying and laughing, comforting, reassuring each other. And this time they both knew it would be forever.

After what seemed like hours and nobody around them mattered, they pulled back and cupped each other’s faces.

"What happened to your face?!" They both asked each other in unison.

Raquel's face was bruised from the blow she had received on her mouth and nose, and Sergio had a slit that ran from his cheekbone almost to his jaw.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Sergio assured her. "How are you?"

"Happy. Emotional. Elated. Incredulous. Tired!” Raquel laughed. "I'm feeling so many things that I don't know how to sum it up."

"You're here." Sergio rubbed her face tenderly with his thumbs. "And you are alive."

“I am." She mumbled and kissed his wrist.

"I thought I was dying when I heard—"

“Don't say it." Raquel interrupted him. “All that is over. I am here, you are here. We are alive, we are together and this time it will be forever."

"I love you Raquel." Sergio uttered. "I love you, I'm in love and I want to say it to your face today and every day that I have left."

"And I want to hear it today and every day that I have left." She replied.

"I'm dying to kiss you, but I don't want to hurt you.”

Raquel smiled and cupped his face, bringing him down in a soft, tender kiss, then rested her forehead against his. "With this is enough for now." She smiled.

"That would do for now."

"My dear lovers!" Palermo appeared out of nowhere, the intimate moment interrupted. “Sorry to interrupt your romcom-like reunion, but we have to go. We lost a lot of time on the road and we should have already been on our way to Italy, so all the doctor's check-ups will be done there."

"Let's go." Raquel beamed and took Sergio's hand, pulling him with her when he noticed him wince and how he limped. It was there that she also noticed the cut on his chest. "Are you okay?!” She asked, deeply worried.

"It's no big deal." Sergio didn't want to worry her.

"Sergio?" Raquel insisted.

“Sierra and I had… some differences. But it's nothing, really. The doctor already gave me a quick look and everything seems fine, in a few days I will walk normally again."

"Did she shoot you in the foot?!" Fury was building up inside her. "Where is she?!” She looked around. “Where is she?!"

"She's already on the helicopter." Palermo informed her. "Why don't you discuss it there?" He suggested.

Raquel linked her arm with Sergio's and they both walked to one of the helicopters that would take them to the monastery where they would spend at least a few months in hiding, until the euphoria in the media stopped and the police lowered their guard a bit, then they could leave to the new destinations that Sergio indicated.

Throughout the flight, Raquel was curled up on Sergio's side, while his arms surrounded her protectively. Neither of them said a single word, they just enjoyed the moment, the warmth, gentle caresses and the occasional stolen kisses. On her head, on his chest. They still couldn’t assimilate what had happened in the last days and how really everything had ended and they were owners of Spain’s gold reserves. All that mattered was that they were together.

Again and as had happened before arriving at the hangar, when Raquel managed to glimpse the monastery from the heights in the helicopter, countless emotions invaded her body.

"They are there." Sergio told her with a smile.

"How are they? Do you know how they are? Are they fine?" She questioned, fretted.

"They are perfectly fine." He stroked her hair. “Although I heard that Paula has sunburns on her shoulders, she didn’t want to leave the beach before coming here. Neither did your mother."

"They love the beach so much."

"We will go back to the beach, I promise." He took her hand. “You, Paula, your mother and me. Our little family."

Raquel smiled with a lump in her throat and couldn’t contain the urge to, discreetly, bring her hand to her belly. "Our little family."

Should she tell him now? She wondered. How to start telling him?

For now, Raquel preferred to wait for the doctor to confirm whether she was still pregnant or not.

The arrival at the monastery was the most emotional moment. Denver and Mónica met with the little Cincinnati who wouldn’t stop crying, as if he didn’t know who those two people who hugged and kissed him were, although little by little the kid seemed to relax in their presence, until he stopped crying and laughed again.

Raquel broke down in tears when she had her daughter and mother in her arms again, the three joined in an emotional hug that even Sergio joined. Paula hugged her mom with her arms and legs, tight, tight. Not wanting to let her go again.

On her part, although she was enjoying the moment, the first thing Mariví did was ask Raquel if she had brought the bread for dinner. Raquel smiled and kissed her mother on the forehead. At least at that moment she was thankful for her illness. At least she hadn't realized all the time she had spent away from her.

But her daughter, her little girl. Raquel swore to herself that whatever happened, she would never again be separated from her daughter for so long. Never.

Once the spirits and the euphoria of being safe had subsided, one by one everyone went to meet the doctor for a detailed check-up. In addition to the scratches and bruises that everyone without exceptions had, it seemed that only Palermo and Mónica had left there without major injuries. Helsinki had a bullet in his leg. Tokyo had two broken fingers. Rio had a sprained ankle. Denver was shot in the arm. Sergio was shot in the foot and had a deep cut in his chest. And Raquel... apparently it was just the bruises and scratches on her face, but only she knew there was something else.

"Well, it seems that everything is fine with you." The doctor said as he placed a thin cast and tape on her nose. “Luckily the fracture in your nasal septum is not major, nothing that the cast, painkillers and proper care cannot heal. And the cut on your lip seems to be closing. The bruises will disappear in a few days.”

"Doctor, I would like to ask you for something else."

"Tell me."

"I recently found out that I was pregnant and well, yesterday I had some bleeding. I would like you to do a checkup, see if... see if..."

"If the baby is okay?" The doctor completed the sentence that she couldn’t say.

Raquel nodded and bit her lip. "Yeah." She mumbled.

"Well, first I need to ask a few questions—"

"Can we go straight to the ultrasound?" Raquel interrupted him.

"Okay." The doctor frowned. "In that case, lie down on the bed and uncover your abdomen."

While the doctor prepared the portable ultrasound machine that he brought with him, Raquel gazed attentively at the high ceiling of that cold room in the monastery that now served as a makeshift doctor's office.

The chill of the gel on her skin made her shiver. She didn't want to see, she didn't want to hear. She didn't know what was happening yet and she already wanted to cry. The doctor ran the probe around her abdomen, pressing here and there as the machine emitted some beeps and gurgling sounds until the beeps turned into beats. A beautiful, strong and constant heartbeat.

Raquel, who until that moment had her eyes covered with her arm, directed her gaze towards the doctor, accompanied by a trembling smile.

"Is that...?"

"A heartbeat? Yeah, that's a heartbeat." The doctor replied.

Raquel covered her face with her hands, trying to contain the immense desire that she had to cry and laugh. "And everything is fine?"

"Hmmm... not entirely."

She tensed. "What do you mean?"

“I can see here signs of partial placenta previa, that's what may have caused the bleeding. However, it appears that you are only 10 or 11 weeks along, so this can be reversed with proper care.”

"Which would be?" She trailed off.

“Bedrest. Not bedridden, but as much rest as you can. No stress, running or jumping around... or any activity that may increase the risk of bleeding or cause contractions, that includes sexual intercourse."

Raquel swallowed, feeling a little blushed. "But the rest… is okay?"

"All good. I was able to notice some fetal movement at first, of course you can't feel it yet, but all is under control for now. And if you want everything to stay in order, all you have to do is rest. If the problem persists, we will have to perform a c-section once the moment comes, but let’s hope for the best. Everything is over, now all you have to do is just to rest.”

"I will do it." She smiled. "Can I… can I see the monitor?"

"Sure! Just let me find the angle again." The doctor placed the probe back on her abdomen and after a few seconds he placed the small screen in front of her.

There it was again, just as she remembered it. Tiny and perfect. Raquel ran her index finger across the screen and smiled to stifle the sob that threatened to escape her.

“I will give you some medicines and vitamins for you to take. I will leave in a couple of days, the Professor asked me to stay until the other pregnant lady gives birth, which will be any day now. But I can come back every month if you and the Professor wish.”

"Yes, please. That would make me feel more reassured."

"Perfect, then I'll discuss it with the Professor—"

"Wait, no!" She cut him off. “I mean, he doesn't know about the baby yet and he would like… I would like to prepare something… special. But I am sure that he will not object to the monthly checkups, I can almost assure you that he will want you to stay here until the baby is born." She chuckled.

The doctor laughed along with her. “I would love a few months of vacation in this place, but I have work out there. But rest assured that every month I will be here for your checkup."

"Thank you."

The doctor was giving Raquel some final recommendations when they were both interrupted by a light knock on the door.

"It’s me, the Professor." Sergio's voice echoed on the other side of the thick wooden door. "Everything is fine?”

The doctor looked at Raquel, asking for confirmation to let him in to what she nodded.

"You can come in, Professor." The doctor said and immediately Sergio opened the door coming in. "We are already finished, I was just giving her some last recommendations."

Sergio limped slightly toward Raquel and stood next to her. "How are you?" He took her hand.

"I'm fine." She assured him. "I just have to rest."

"Your wife is a strong woman, Professor."

"I know." He smiled proudly and squeezed her hand.

No one wanted to gather to have lunch or dinner. The Serbs were kind enough to prepare some food and deliver it to the rooms. By 6pm, everything was completely silent. They were all so drained of energy that all they wanted to do was sleep if possible until they melted into the mattress.

Since her check-up with the doctor, Raquel couldn't stop thinking about how she would break the news to Sergio. She didn't know whether to make a big announcement in front of the whole band. Do something more intimate and personal. Do it before sleeping, safe in his arms. Take him to a garden and do it there. Maybe include Paula and her mother.

Then another question arose, how would Paula take the news? The girl had never been shy about wanting a sister or brother, although since they were in Palawan they were fewer and fewer the times she mentioned it. But something told her that her daughter was going to be thrilled to know that she was about to become a big sister.

"How can she have so much energy?!” Sergio laughed as he and Raquel returned to their room after they both tucked Paula to sleep.

“You should already know how curious she is. I knew she was going to want to know everything about our supposed work trip, especially when she saw us injured."

"Do you think she believed the story of the car accident?" Sergio asked her.

"I think she did.”

“I thought she was never going to sleep! I'm sure tomorrow she will continue with the questions."

“Well, it’s just 6:30pm o’clock, plus jet lag.”

“It’s 1:30am in Mindanao. I’m telling you, that girl has enough energy to light up a bulb!”

“She’s just happy to see us!” Raquel laughed as she climbed onto the bed.

“And I am happy to see her.” He beamed. “I didn't realize how much I missed her until I saw her again. The same to your mother."

"They love you very much, and Paula... she really sees you as a father figure... as a father."

Sergio climbed onto the bed, wincing a bit when he felt the sting of his chest wound, but soon found a comfortable position and settled next to Raquel, facing her. “I… I love her like a daughter, Raquel." 

Raquel's eyes instantly watered at Sergio's words. “Sergio, before we met, did you ever think about having children?”

Sergio chuckled. “Did you forget that I practically was a hermit before meeting you?”

Raquel laughed along with him. “I know, but… that was not an impediment for dreaming.”

“Before you I never cared about relationships, kids or family that wasn’t my brother. And you came to change all that. You gave color and texture to my dull life, you… sparked something in me that I didn’t even know I could feel. I didn't even like the beach before you!” He laughed. “And now I can’t imagine our life in another place that is not the beach. I can’t imagine a life without the family we’ve built. Now I really feel my life is complete. I don’t need anything else.”

“Nothing?” Raquel asked him with a shaky voice.

“Well, maybe… another cat.”

“Another cat?!” She laughed.

“Don’t tell me you don’t miss our cat.”

“I do miss him! But you were never very fond of Gus.”

“I did like Gus! He was just very… grumpy sometimes. He would try to scratch me every time I tried to push him down from my desk.”

Raquel laughed remembering the silly fights Sergio would have with their cat because the feline was just too stubborn to understand. “Poor Gus.” She sighed.

“Luckily he was left in good hands. We will get another Gus once we are home. One that is not that feisty.”

“Don’t tell Paula or she will insist on getting another cat now.”

“Then I will get our girl a cat. And I don’t want to hear that I'm spoiling her.” Sergio replied, no leaving room for complains.

Raquel laughed and then inhaled deeply, trying to keep the tears at bay. She couldn’t believe she was listening to Sergio talk about his feelings so openly. He had never been much of expressing his feelings with words, he was more of actions. So listening to him say that he loved her, that he was in love with her, listening to him refer to Paula as their girl made her heart overflow with happiness. She couldn't wait to see his face when she told him about the baby.

Unable to reply without crying, she snuggled against his chest, closed her eyes and breathed him in deeply, feeling so grateful to be with him again, to be able to feel his warmth against her skin, his arms wrapped around her, every part of her.

She was grateful to be alive to share this new experience with him. She knew Sergio was going to be over the moon when he gave her the news. She just had to come up with the perfect plan. This had to be perfect.

Feeling more and more tired by the second, Raquel snuggled closer to him and let the exhaustion wash over her, she now felt safe to close her eyes and just rest.

Raquel didn’t know how long she had been sleeping when she felt Sergio's body rise from the bed in an abrupt and clumsy movement. She opened her eyes, still sleepy, squinting when he turned on the light.

"What's happening?" She asked hoarsely.

Sergio didn't have time to answer when a distressing scream echoed in the hall. It was Alicia.

"I think she is in labor." Sergio said.

"Oh!" Raquel exclaimed.

Sergio opened the bedroom door and peeked out into the hall, realizing that practically everyone was already awake and outside their rooms, wondering what was going on.

"Should we go help or something?" Raquel appeared next to Sergio wrapped in her fluffy robe.

"I think we should go." Monica suggested.

"I pass!” Tokyo scoffed.

"I don't think I can be of much help there." Denver said.

"Same." Bogota agreed.

Same.

Same.

Same.

Same.

All men agreed except Sergio who just adjusted his glasses over his nose with his thumb and index finger.

"You really are all useless men, aren't you?" Raquel grunted.

"I highly doubt that she will want all of us staring at her pussy while she pushes a baby out of her!” Palermo mocked.

At that moment, the doctor appeared walking down the hall.

“She is about to give birth. I'll need some extra hands there. Ladies, can you come with me?"

Raquel, Monica and Tokio shared a look and ended up walking after the doctor back to Alicia's room.

She was a mess, she was sweating, screaming and writhing in pain. She asked the doctor to give her something for the pain, but unfortunately it was too late, she was already too dilated to administer anesthesia, so she would have to face the rest of labor without it.

Raquel, Monica, and Tokio took turns assisting the doctor, Alicia and going to the kitchen for warm water.

"I told you that childbirth was very fucked up." Raquel reminded Alicia as she squeezed her hand tightly, enduring the excruciating pain of a contraction.

"Fuck off, Raquel!” Alicia groaned. “I don't need your lectures right now!”.

"Mrs. Lisboa, can you go to the kitchen and see what is taking so long with the water, please?” The doctor asked her.

“Sure!”

Raquel left the room and hurried to the kitchen to find Mónica and Tokio with the water they needed. As she got closer, she could hear how both women seemed to be in the middle of an argument.

"Tokyo, just pour the water!" Monica snapped. "You don't have to be there if you don't want to!”

"Do you really want to be there, assisting her?!”

"What I would like to do right now is sleep, but I'm not going to let a woman give birth without any help either!”

"She gave the order to shoot Nairobi, and now we are serving her?!”

"We are helping her!"

"Well, I don't want to help her!" Tokyo fired back. “I should be helping Nairobi and not her. She should be here, alive. She and the Professor should be planning their pregnancy!"

“WHAT?!" Monica gasped.

Tokio's eyes widened when she realized the words that had escaped her mouth without her thinking first.

"What did you just say?!”

Raquel's voice resonated behind her...

Chapter Text

" Raquel ." Tokio breathed, saying her name for perhaps the first time since she met her.

"What did you just say?" Raquel swallowed the lump in her throat. Her whole being started to feel equally hot and cold.

"Tokio, don't joke about such things!” Mónica warned her.

"The fucking fuck-friend." Raquel scoffed. "All this time…"

"No! Lisboa, please, listen to me!” Tokio tried to explain.

“What do you have to explain to me?! That your little friend and Sergio have been taking me for an idiot for all this time? That they were laughing at me? That you and her… I celebrated with you!” Raquel cried. “Despite barely knowing her, I was so happy for her! This was her idea of feminism that she preached so much about?! I thought we were friends.”

Raquel turned around, resting the palms of her hands on the old wooden kitchen table, trying to calm down the awful wave of pain that was on the verge of crushing her. She closed her eyes tightly, biting her tongue to keep from bursting into tears right there in front of them. He had lied to her. Nairobi had lied to her. She felt like an idiot.

She brought her hand down to her belly, feeling the slight swell of her stomach, her baby growing inside. Their baby. Her’s and Sergio’s. What an idiot she had been indeed. This only made things much more difficult and complicated. If only she had known about this betrayal sooner.

"Raquel." Mónica's sweet voice called out to her as she placed her hand on the other woman’s shoulder.

Raquel sniffed and straightened up. "The doctor needs the water right now." She took the pot of boiling water and, on shaky legs, walked back to Alicia's room to assist  with her delivery.

"What the hell was that, Tokio?!" Mónica hissed, still stunned by what she had just heard.

Tokio didn't get a chance to reply when they heard the crash of the pot hitting the floor outside in the hall. Both women ran out, Raquel was hugging herself with one arm and covering her mouth with one hand, leaning against the wall. They rushed to help her, but she flinched away sharply.

"Don't fucking touch me!" She growled.

"I swear I didn't know anything about this." Mónica's teary eyes begged for mercy.

She really appreciated Raquel deeply, they had clicked from the very beginning. Two outsiders. Two women who had changed their lives partly for love, the new additions to the group, the ones who had to earn the trust of the others. So many things in common that they had clung to each other for dear life, who’d never felt like they fit into Tokio and Nairobi's friendship, but even so, they had tried to make friends with them. With such few women in a men’s world, they had to stick together.

“Ladies, the water!” The doctor appeared in the corridor.

Raquel quickly wiped away her tears. “We had a little accident with the water, we are already boiling up more.”

"There is a pot on the stove." Mónica said. "Why don't you go with Sierra and in a minute I'll bring the water?"

The shadow of a smile appeared at the corner of Raquel’s lips, until her eyes landed on Tokio, then her gaze changed, filling with disgust and contempt. Turning around, she hurriedly walked after the doctor to Alicia's room.

Before entering, she saw Sergio standing in the doorway of their room. She felt sick. She turned around and without saying a word closed the door behind her.

Alicia was still writhing in pain. She was drenched in sweat and her face was dipped into a bright red just like her hair.

“She is 9 centimeters dilated, it is only a matter of minutes.” The doctor reported.

“What do you need help with?” Raquel asked.

"Maybe help the mom get into a more comfortable position?”

They both looked at Alicia.

"I need to kneel!" She panted. Carefully, Raquel helped Alicia to her knees on the bed, standing in front of her.

Alicia hugged Raquel's torso, her small figure supporting much of her weight while Raquel massaged her lower back.

"This is almost over, c'mon." Raquel tried to encourage her even in the midst of the excruciating pain she was feeling deep inside her soul.

"I don't want to do this alone!" Alicia cried. “I don't know how I'm going to do this alone. I won't be able to do it without Germán!”

“Of course you can. You are a fucking badass.”

“ Fuuuuuck! ” Alicia screamed through another contraction, clinging to Raquel.

“The water is here!” Mónica entered the room.

“Mrs. Sierra, I'll give you another check-up.” The doctor informed them.

Between check-ups, screaming and crying, 5 minutes later, Alicia was giving birth.

"It's a girl!" Raquel exclaimed with a big smile and tears in her eyes, looking at the tiny being in the doctor's hands.

However, Alicia simply lay back on the bed, avoiding looking at the girl. The doctor, Raquel and Mónica shared a look, the first hurried to clean the baby and wrap her in a fluffy towel.

“Give her to me.” Raquel said, stretching out her arms to hold the little girl. "Alicia." She placed a hand on her shoulder.

Alicia was on her side, her entire body trembling with tears that she couldn't contain. "I can't do this alone!" She sobbed.

“You are not alone, you never will be again. She will be your eternal companion… and she needs you so much right now.”

Alicia turned around, the little girl squirmed gently in Raquel's arms. After a look of confirmation, the baby was delivered into the arms of her mother.

"What will you call her?" Raquel asked after a moment, stroking the little girl's head.

The doctor and Mónica had left the room to take all the dirty towels and sheets out, leaving both ex-inspectors alone.

“I had thought to call him ‘Germán’ if he was a boy, but…” She shrugged.

"I'm sure that in the future she won't appreciate that you named her ' Germancita '" Raquel and Alicia both chuckled.

“Any suggestions?”

Raquel smiled. “For a girl… I have always liked the name Lucía . But I don't know, what do you think?”

“I think you are saving that name for yours. When is it coming?" Alicia gave a nod to her belly.

Raquel's eyes went wide open, feeling her face on fire. “Wha—how?”

“How do I know you are pregnant? Have you forgotten the procedures of a detainee arriving at the prison so soon?”

“No, I haven't forgotten them. But I also know that only a toxicology screen is done. The rest of the check-up is not done until they are formally transferred to prison, with a judge's order. And none of them is a pregnancy test.”

Alicia huffed. “Okay! I ordered a full check-up. I wanted to have a thread to pull from! So we did tests from anemia to HIV, pregnancy too, of course. Oh, by the way, you are slightly anemic. What did that nerd feed you in the Philippines?”

“Who else knew? Tamayo? Ángel? Alberto?” Her voice filled with panic.

“Until before I was dismissed from the case, just me. But now… probably all of the CNP and the CNI knows, not that it matters much anymore. It would have been a strong card for negotiation if they still had you. Though, if your little bank-robbing nerd had known you were pregnant while we kept you in the tent, he would've nuked us to ashes. But right now I’m guessing you haven’t told him yet."

"No." Raquel uttered, looking at her hands, playing with them.

"From your reaction I assume he is not into the idea of having children."

Raquel scoffed. “He is so much into the idea he was planning to have one…just not with me.”

Now it was Alicia's time to look at her with eyes wide open. "What?" 

“He was planning to have a child with…another woman.” She preferred to keep the name to herself, although knowing Alicia, it wouldn’t be difficult for her to guess with whom.

She gasped. “But… When was that?! When did you find out?!”

“Roughly 30 minutes ago.”

“That bastard, I told you! And now what are you gonna do?!”

"I don't really want to think or talk about that right now. I don't even know how I'm supposed to face him."

"You can stay with me tonight if you don't want to see him." Alicia suggested. “You can help me with Victoria.”

Raquel smiled slightly. "Victoria?"

“I just decided. She has the face of a winner, doesn't she?"

“She does. She is beautiful, Alicia. Hello, Victoria…” Raquel took one of the little girl's fists and caressed it gently. Unconsciously, her other hand came to rest on her belly.

“So… what do you say? You stay?"

Raquel sighed. “I have to talk to him soon, it will be very strange that I avoid him from one moment to the next. It’s better if I let the bomb drop now.”

"In that case, good luck."

She felt sick in every way. The abyss of sadness that she felt in the pit of her stomach mixed with the mental image of Sergio and Nairobi, made her want to spill her guts.

Holding on to the walls, Raquel walked slowly and shakily back to the room she shared with Sergio. The halls of the monastery were flooded with bluish-gray light with the first rays of a cloudy and rainy morning. 

How fitting.

Raquel stopped behind the big old wooden door, holding the knob, squeezing it. She gagged. She covered her mouth and tried to keep the nausea at bay. Breathing slowly, in and out. She had to rip off the band aid, and do so better sooner than later. She opened the door. This was it.

Sergio was in bed, reading a book. When he saw her enter, his face lit up with a smile, which faded when he took in the somber expression on her face. Raquel remained leaning against the door, her feet stuck to the floor.

"Did something happen?" Sergio sat on the edge of the bed, putting the book aside. "Is the baby okay?"

The way the baby was his only concern made her want to laugh and cry.

“Both mom and baby are doing just fine.” She croaked.

"So? What's happening?" He got up to approach her. She looked pale and sick.

"Stay away!" Raquel snapped, waving at him.

"Raquel." He only got more worried.

“When… when were you going to tell me that you and… you and Nairobi were planning to have a child?” She finally got it out.

Sergio's face fell when he heard her words. "Who told you that?" He mumbled under his breath.

"Is it true?" Raquel really expected him to tell her that it was all a lie.

"Who told you?!" He insisted. Nobody knew about this, only him and Nairobi. Or so he thought, evidently not.

"So it is true?”

Sergio sighed, there was no point in denying it. “It is true.” He answered without being able to look Raquel in the face.

A sob escaped her lips and she covered her mouth, turning around so he wouldn't see her cry.

"I can explain!" He tried to touch her shoulder but she aggressively flinched away, slapping his hand away from her.

“What explanation?!” She cried. "How the hell are you going to explain to me that you were planning to have a child with another woman?!"

"It's not what you think!" He insisted. "It was going to be just a sperm donation and nothing else!"

Raquel laughed acidly. "Do you really think I'm a fucking idiot to believe that story?!"

"It's the truth! Raquel, please, listen to me!” He cupped her face, his expression desperate to clear things up but she kept pushing him away. "Listen to me!" He insisted. “Everything has an explanation, it is not what you imagine. She... Nairobi told me about her desire to be a mother, to have many children. I… I just told her that it was a very beautiful thought, and suddenly she came up with an unlikely proposal. She asked me to be her sperm donor.”

The words rushed out of his mouth, not wanting to waste a minute of that unspoken extension that Raquel had given him to tell the truth. He wanted to finish this story as soon as possible, clear things up and get that expression of utter pain off her face. He couldn't bear to see her like this.

“Her what?!” She scowled.

“Her sperm donor. At first I resisted, I told her that what she was asking me was crazy, but she… she was so insistent. Raquel… she left everything for me, she sacrificed everything to join the gang and for my plan. She was always there for me, for the gang, for Rio, and I… I didn't have the heart to say no."

"She was always there." Raquel scoffed. “No one forced her to come!” She snapped. "Nobody put a fucking gun to her head and said 'come or I'll kill you', I was there when she agreed to come!”

"Because I asked her to!" Sergio argued.

“BUT NOBODY FUCKING FORCED HER, FOR FUCKS SAKE!” Raquel yelled. She knew that by this point everyone in the monastery had probably heard their fight, but she couldn't give a damn. She was on fire. “Isn't that what you said to me? That you hadn't forced me to come?"

“I was going to tell her no. At that point she…she…I was going to tell her no as soon as the heist was over. You have to believe me!" Sergio pleaded.

She wanted to believe that there was a logical explanation. She needed to believe that there was, that it was all a misunderstanding, a rumor. That Sergio would never be able to plan a lifetime, a family with a woman other than her. Now less than ever.

“What are you doing?!”

“Party for a single mother.”

“Are you pregnant?!”

"Yes! No, after the heist!”

Raquel replayed Nairobi and Tokio's words from that night she had partied with them, celebrating the good news.

"I celebrated with her." Raquel sat on the edge of the bed. “I was so happy for her, even though I didn't know her very well… a desired child is always a blessing. I laughed with them, while they laughed at me," she bit her lip to keep from sobbing, "I danced with them, while maybe they thought, ‘look at her, how stupid!’"

"That should never have happened." Sergio mumbled, taking a couple of steps toward her but keeping his distance.

"If you wanted a child so badly you should’ve asked me, we would have talked about it, maybe…" She held back. No, no way she was going to tell him that she was pregnant. At least not right now, she'd dealt with that later.

“Are you pregnant?”

"Yes! No, after the heist.”

The conversation kept replaying in her head over and over again, until it hit her.

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend!"

“Me neither!”

"It's a friend with benefits."

Her breath caught in her throat. A massive sob stuck in her chest.

"It's a friend with benefits."

Her head was working too fast. She was trying to remember more words, more moments, more clues, more red flags.

"The fucking night of the hake." She gasped, bringing her hand to her chest, trying to catch her breath.

"What?"

“We were all there. We all… we were all there except you and Nairobi. I-I never found it strange that you decided to go to bed, but Nairobi? She would never miss a party."

"What are you trying to imply?"

“A friend with benefits. She-she-she told me the future father of her child was a fuck-friend.” Her voice was shaking with rage. "Did you—"

"NO! NO, NO, NO!" Sergio immediately retorted, stepping closer to her.

“DID YOU AND NAIROBI HAVE AN AFFAIR?!”

“THAT’S A RIDICULOUS QUESTION!”

“Do not – and I repeat – Do not try to ridicule me right now, Sergio,” Raquel cried, pushing him away from her with her hands against his chest. “What am I supposed to think?! You betrayed me, you betrayed us .”

Sergio took Raquel by the wrists, bringing her close to him, she tried to free herself from his grasp. “You can't think that. Please, you can't think that. I swear to you, I swear on my brother, on my parents, on the love I have for you, I swear that there was nothing between her and me!” He was trying to explain himself.

Again, Raquel jerked away from his grasp, hugging herself, no longer making the slightest effort to contain the streaming tears.

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because it is the truth!"

"And who tells me it's the truth?! Nairobi is no longer here to confirm that version.” Raquel sniffed and cleaned the tears from her face with her hands.

"Please, Raquel. Trust me!"

This couldn't be happening, Sergio thought. Until before Raquel mentioned it, he hadn't even bothered to remember the promise he’d made. Erased from his mind. In his head, the only woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with was Raquel. She, Paula and Mariví, his real family. All he wanted was to finally settle down in a new place and start a new life. Together. He’d already had everything planned out. And now, in the snap of fingers, all his plans were crumbling down around him.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. He should have never given in to Nairobi's pleas. What the hell had been going through his head?! Now Raquel was here, in front of him, bathed in tears because of his poor life choices and he couldn't stand it. He’d seen it as a simple transaction, a business deal. His sperm for Nairobi’s loyalty.

“Did you stop for a second to think about what this could mean to me? What it could mean for us, for our relationship? For our family? To know that there’d be a son or daughter of yours walking around somewhere on this planet?!"

Sergio ducked his head, unable to look into her face, feeling her eyes like daggers piercing into her chest. “I didn't see it the same way you did. For me it was just a favor. We both agreed that I was not going to be involved.”

“IT WAS A CHILD, SERGIO!” She cried. “Think, for God's sake! Don’t you always pride yourself on being the smartest person in a room? Use your fucking brain! She was asking you for a child, a part of you, a human being. A baby, your blood. And maybe now or then you didn't see it that way, maybe you didn't realize what that meant because you're not a father… yet . Otherwise you would have realized that it was not a simple favor. That it was a child , your blood!”

"It was just a favor." Sergio kept mumbling repeatedly. "I wasn't going to be involved in anything else, we both agreed."

Raquel chuckled in tears. “Until you attended or saw the first ultrasound image. Or until you held it in your arms, feeling its tiny, warm body. Until you looked its face and recognize traits of you or your family in him or her. Until it grabbed your finger, with those tiny hands, a grip so soft but at the same time so strong, because not only does it grab your finger, but in that instant, that tiny being completely takes over everything and wraps you around its little finger and you realize that you will do everything possible to protect that little part of you. And then you weren't going to want to walk away from them … Nairobi and the baby. I know you Sergio. You are not a man who so easily detaches from the things you love, less if it is your family, your blood. And what would I have been supposed to do then? All of your attention, all of your love would've been for that baby. And I'd have been so jealous!" She smiled sourly. “I'd have been jealous because it's human fucking nature, we can't control it, and I'd have been jealous of a baby, can you believe it? Of a baby! How pathetic is that.”

“You're talking about something that will never happen now! Raquel, please, I accept it, what I did was wrong, it was wrong to have hidden it from you, it was wrong not to have put you and our family first. It was wrong, I admit. But it is something that will never happen!”

“Because Nairobi is dead! And now how can I trust you? Who assures me that you won't want to avenge her too?!"

"ME!" Sergio replied. "I assure you. I promise you."

Raquel scoffed. “This is not the first time you’ve lied to me, Sergio.” She sniffed and cleaned her face, hissing when she hurt her wounded cheekbone. She had even forgotten that her face was full of bruises, the pain in her heart had numbed her physical pain. 

“It is not the first time that you hid the truth from me, that you looked past me. I don't know if I can trust you anymore, and I can't be with a man I don't trust. Not again. I can't live with that fear again. How do you expect me to be with you, to sleep next to you and to be able to close my eyes without fearing that when I open them you will not be in our bed, that you will be out there again, thinking about what you lost, planning how you will avenge it now, planning how you will avenge the death of Nairobi and the child you never had. Because this was your revenge for your brother, I'm not stupid, Sergio. You only used Río as an excuse. What’s next? What will be your next excuse? Who is going to die now for your stupid revenges? Palermo? Tokio? Or maybe me? Maybe that way you won't have the constant reminder that I was just no more than a flaw in your stupid plans."

"Don't say that. Please don't even imply that. If something happens to you… when I thought you had died I felt that I was dying too.”

“Oh thank you, that makes me feel very flattered!” Raquel mocked and in a second her face hardened again. “But you’d have had a new family waiting for you, if Nairobi had made it out alive, no?”

“I... I'm sorry, Raquel. I'm so sorry you feel this way, the last thing in the world I wanted is to hurt you."

“Well you did. Deeply.”

“Just… just tell me what I need to do for you to forgive me.” Sergio begged. "Please!"

There was a moment of silence. Raquel's eyes darted all over the floor, her heart heavy in her chest. Sergio looked at her as if she were a ticking bomb, fearing that if he moved, she would explode. He was terrified, not just for him, but for her. The idea of seeing her suffer destroyed him.

“The weakest link.” Raquel uttered without addressing him. “You called me the weakest link, all because I broke down when Alicia brought my daughter into the negotiation, and yet… all it took was a guilt trip for you to forget about me and everything we've built and accept having a child with another woman.”

Sergio couldn’t argue with that. “What’s going to happen now?” He dared to ask.

“Are you really asking me that after everything I just told you?”

His face went paper white. “W-what do you mean? Are-are you… breaking up… with me?”

Raquel swallowed and locked her eyes with his. Her expression was stern despite the tears which were still fresh on her cheeks. “It's always been about you, it has never been about me, or at least about us . First, I was the flaw in your plans, then the weakest link. All this time with you, thinking that our life was perfect—”

“AND IT WAS! IT IS! " Sergio exclaimed, bringing his hands together. His body unconsciously pleading. “My life with you has been perfect, it's been a dream, Raquel!”

"I'm done, Sergio." Raquel said.

"No! No, you can't do this, we can't make a decision like this, under the heat of rage." Sergio tried with all his might to save them. “Think about Paula, about your mom, about our plans!”

"Don't you dare to ask me to think about them when you didn't even think about me in the first place!” Raquel grunted.

She stood up, feeling how her legs wobbled, an overwhelming wave of nausea running up and down her throat, her head was spinning violently. Fearing that she was going to black out at any moment, she headed to the door.

"Our story can't end like this."

“I don't know how it could continue. How to continue when there is no trust.” Raquel replied.

"I'm going to earn your trust again." Sergio stated. " I swear .” Raquel didn't answer, she continued on her way out. “Wait. Stay here, I'll leave."

When Sergio left the room, he met the entire gang in the hallway. They all looked at him with expectant eyes. None of them had heard them fight like that, on the contrary, the echo of their cries of passion had been common in the monastery during the time they were there, preparing to rescue Río.

He tried to avoid their gazes. Guilt and shame washing over him completely. Until his eyes landed on Tokio. He clenched his jaw and strode towards her. He took her hand and walked with her away from the crowd to avoid being heard.

“It was you!" Sergio spat through clenched teeth. “You told Raquel about the baby.”

Tokio broke free from Sergio's hold. "It was an accident. She heard me mention it to Estocolmo.”

"Do you have any idea of what just happened because of you?!"

Tokio scoffed in disbelief. “Are you trying to put the blame on me?! It wasn't me who was planning a whole ass family with Nairobi while being in a relationship with another woman. If you want to find a culprit, just look in the mirror. This is just the consequences of your own actions.”

With this, Tokio turned around and walked away from Sergio. He was left behind, furious. Furious with himself. She was right, no one else was to blame but himself.

This was not the end, he was determined to earn Raquel's forgiveness and trust again. He had already lost her twice, he wasn't going to lose her again.

Back in the room, Raquel was lying on the bed, curled up in a ball, hugging herself, crying her heart out. She was in so much pain. Pain in her soul. Pain in her body. Her head throbbed in a way that was driving her crazy, it wasn't until a stabbing sensation in her lower abdomen made her grunt and sat up, clutching her hands over her stomach, breathing fast, sweating.

She tried to breathe, to cope with the discomfort, in and out. The pain subsided, but as it left, it returned, making itself felt all the way down her lower back until it eventually subsided. Raquel lay down again, burying her face in the pillow, Sergio's pillow. With every breath she took, her senses were intoxicated by his scent, causing her to simply cry harder and harder.

Raquel didn't realize how long she kept crying and hugging herself, trying to navigate the waves of pain that hit her body until eventually, she succumbed to exhaustion and fell into a deep sleep.

“Mommy, mommy… wake up!”

Paula's small voice dragged her back to consciousness… and to harsh reality.

Raquel groaned and when she tried to move her body, every part of it ached, making her moan and hide her face under the covers. Her body was so tense, swollen and sore that even breathing hurt. On top of that, she felt so cold that it permeated into every corner of her being, making her shiver. It was just her wounded body and the lack of adrenaline coursing through her veins that made all those bumps, scrapes, bruises and cuts that she didn't feel yesterday hurt like hell today. And the worst thing was that she wasn't sure if she could take strong anti-inflammatories in her condition.

“Mommy, you didn't join us for breakfast. Neither did Sergio.” 

"What time is it?" Raquel asked in a deep growl.

“After 1pm”

Paula climbed onto the bed to lie down next to her mother, but when she tried to snuggle against her chest, Raquel couldn't help but hiss and stifle a groan.

“Honey, honey, honey, be careful. Mommy is a little bruised.”

"Sorry mom." Paula apologized, keeping her distance, afraid of hurting her mom. "Is it because of the accident you had?"

"Yes, baby, it's because of the accident."

"Does it hurt much?"

"A little, yes."

"Is that why you didn't go out for breakfast?"

“Yeah, that's why I didn't go out for breakfast. I don't feel very well."

“Do you want me to call Sergio?” Paula suggested.

Raquel stifled a sigh. Apparently, she wasn’t aware of the fight between her and Sergio. Thank heavens.

“No, my love, it’s not necessary. I'm fine."

"But you just said you're not feeling too well."

"I meant that... I feel a little sick, but you don't need to call Sergio."

Paula seemed little to not convinced at all. "Mommy, you're sweating." She pointed and reached out her hand to brush the tops of her small fingers across Raquel's face, careful not to hurt her wounds. "Mommy! You are hot!”

Concerned, Raquel brought her hand to her face, verifying that she was indeed boiling. “Honey, I need you to do something for me. Go outside and find Mónica. You do know who Mónica is, don't you?"

“I do. The pretty woman with the curls. Cinci's mom!"

“Yes, yes, Cinci’s mom. Well, go look for her and tell her if she can come see me, it's urgent."

"Should I call Sergio too?"

"NO!" She snapped, starting Paula a little. “No, darling, no. It's better not to worry him, ok? Not a word of this to anyone, just Mónica, ok?”

"And if I can't find Mónica?" Paula asked, worried. She felt that she had a great responsibility on her hands. Her mom was sick and it was up to her to bring her help.

“You're going to find her, she couldn't have gone anywhere. But in case you can't find her, look for—”

“For Sergio!” Paula interrupted.

"No! No, darling, no.” Raquel repeated. She was already fearing that Paula would go straight to Sergio. “In case you can't find Mónica, look for Martín. Do you know who Martín is?

Paula shook her head. "I'm just getting to know all of them."

"Well, then just look for Mónica, I'm sure you'll find her."

“Ok mom."

“Remember, none of this to Sergio, ok? We don't want to worry him."

"No mommy. And where is he?"

Dammit. How was she going to explain what had happened to Paula? Raquel wasn't ready to do it right now. Although to tell the truth, she didn't know if she was going to be ready at all. Paula adored Sergio, he was already a father to her. She had already ripped her from one of her parents once. Even if back then was to protect her, Paula didn’t see it that way. She suffered deeply from the lack of her father in her daily life.

Suddenly millions of doubts assailed her. Was she doing the right thing? Was she exaggerating? Could she give Sergio a second chance? No. No, no, no, it hurt way too much to just brush it off and pretend like nothing had happened. Sergio had violated her trust, he had betrayed her, how could she pretend that she was okay with that?

But her poor daughter, how to tell her that, from now on, Sergio would no longer be in their lives? Or at least not so constant. Perhaps only when he went to visit her little brother or sister.

That was a whole other topic.

Her head was about to explode. The throbbing pain made her want to just rip her head off.

How . How was she going to tell Sergio about the baby? Was she even going to tell him? It was Sergio, one way or another, he was going to find out. Firstly, they were going to spend at least 4 more months in the monastery. Waiting for the chaos out there to calm down before they could go out into the world and their new respective places of residence. How was she going to hide her belly? From experience, she knew that no sweater, no matter how oversized, could hide a 7-month baby bump. With Paula, at 5-6 months she had already looked huge, surely this time it was not going to be the exception considering the visible bulge that had already formed in her lower abdomen. He was going to find out.

And, assuming that she made it. That she managed to hide her pregnancy from him and she managed to escape with her mother and her daughter to a new destination. Raquel knew that Sergio was not going to leave her so easily. She knew that he was capable of hiring someone to watch over her and keep him abreast of her every move. When she went to find him in Palawan, he knew it. That's why he had been there, dressed in his best clothes, waiting for her with two glasses of wine ready for her arrival. He had been keeping an eye on her all that year they had been apart.

He was going to find out.

Raquel accepted that she would tell him. But not now.

“Sergio… he went to sleep in another room, my love. It was so as not to hurt me while we slept.”

Paula smiled. "You always sleep in each other's arms, surely he was going to hurt you."

Raquel smiled too, although with profound nostalgia. “Yes… he was going to hurt me.”

"I'll go find Mónica!"

"Yes, go, darling!"

Paula jumped out of bed and ran to the door.

"Wait!" Raquel called her again before she left. "Where's grandma?"

“She is in the garden, with her new nurse. She arrived this morning, Sergio hired her.”

"Oh." She muttered. “Has she asked about me?"

Paula replied with a perky, “No!”

Although she was hurt, it was better this way. In this case, the less her mother was aware of what was happening, the better. “Well… go, go find Mónica.”

"I won't be long, mommy!" Paula said before leaving the room.

Raquel laid her body face up on the bed, feeling how each and every one of her tendons and muscles protested at the action. She was in so much pain. Only now did she realize how hurt her body was and she couldn't help but worry, bringing her hands to her belly.

A few minutes later, the door opened, Paula walked in first, followed by Mónica, and, to Raquel's surprise, Alicia too.

"Alicia? What are you doing here? You should be resting."

"I gave birth, I didn't break my legs."

“I was with her when Paula came looking for me, saying that you needed me urgently.” Mónica clarified.

"And where’s Victoria?”

“The mute guy is taking care of her.” Alicia replied. "The fool is mesmerized, it seems that he has never seen a baby."

"The mute guy?" Raquel frowned.

"Marsella." Mónica clarified.

“Oh! Paula, darling,” Raquel addressed her daughter, "would you leave us alone for a moment? Why don't you go to Grandma?

"Okay mom!”

“Go find Cinci,” Mónica suggested with a kind smile, “I'm sure he'd like to play in the garden with you.”

"Yes!" Then Paula ran out.

"Are you okay?" Mónica asked Raquel, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You look sick." Alicia pointed.

"I don’t feel good at all."

"Do you want me to... call the doctor or something?" Mónica asqued, giving her a knowing look, avoiding mentioning her pregnancy.

"You can say it. Alicia knows."

"Is there something wrong with the baby?" Alicia asked her. “Do you want us to call the doctor?”

Raquel nodded. “I've been having cramping episodes practically since the day before yesterday. They come and go, but… I just want to be sure. Also, I think I have a slight fever.”

Carefully, Mónica touched her face. “Yeah, you feel really hot, and you look sweaty.”

"I'll go find the doctor." Alicia said.

"No, I'll go." Mónica got up from the bed. "Stay with her. I'll be right back."

“Please, don't say anything to Sergio."

"I won’t." Mónica assured her and gave her hand a gentle squeeze and a smile before leaving.

“You must feel really bad if you’re asking for a doctor. You never even wanted to take an aspirin when you had a headache.”

"I'm so scared, Alicia." Raquel allowed herself to be vulnerable with her. Many times, she had been vulnerable with her. They both had been.

Alicia took a seat where Mónica had previously been sitting. "Have you had any bleeding?"

“I did, before leaving the bank, but not again. Although I’ve had cramps.”

“Let's wait for the doctor to come. It's probably nothing serious."

Soon after, Mónica was back accompanied by the doctor. After a thorough check-up, he could find nothing to indicate the source of her fever. She wasn’t bleeding and the baby looked perfect, just like it was a few hours ago.

“My possible diagnosis is that it is psychogenic fever.”

"And what is that?" Raquel asked.

“It's a phenomenon that occurs when the body is subjected to high levels of stress, which causes the body temperature to increase considerably, resulting in fever, sweating, headaches, and even vomiting.”

“She has certainly been under a lot of stress.” Mónica pointed.

"It’s most likely that." The doctor said, “although, if you want, for your peace of mind, I can take blood samples and take them to the nearest laboratory. I will have the results tomorrow.”

"That would mean telling the Professor, wouldn't it?" Raquel asked, afraid that her secret would come out like this.

The doctor shrugged. "I can't get out of here without telling him."

"Give me a couple of hours to think about it and I'll let you know my decision."

"It's okay. In any case, I will leave you some paracetamol to take and I would advise you to take a bath with lukewarm water. Plenty of rest and liquids.”

"We'll take care of her, doctor." Mónica assured the doctor before he left them alone.

"So..." Alicia began, "you'll have to tell Sergio."

"I know." Raquel mumbled, looking at the ceiling, caressing her belly gently.

"Unless you... decide not to." Alicia teased.

"No!" Mónica exclaimed. “No, Raquel, you have to tell him. Not for him, but for your baby. Don't do the same thing he did. Don't hide the truth."

“You know what?” Alicia intervened. “I agree with Goldilocks. Don't let that asshole play a uno reverse on you."

"I know, I know!" Raquel repeated. “I promised I was going to tell him, but I wanted to wait a couple of days, let the waters settle down. I didn't think I would have to tell him today!”

“The faster you do it the better. And he will have fewer things to blame you for. Not that he has anything, really.” Alicia said.

“I fear what will happen next.” Raquel sighed heavily. “I'm not sure what I'm going to do next. It was one thing to be a single mother in Madrid, but now? With a sick mother, a little girl and a newborn and being fugitive from justice? Being wanted by INTERPOL?! It terrifies me to think of the danger I will be putting my children and my mother in, all because of...”

"Come with me!" Alicia proposed without hesitation.

"What?"

"Come with me. We take your mother and Paula, we raise our children together… between the two of us it will be easier. I mean it… let's go away, Raquel.”

It was the second time someone had offered her to run away with them.

"I-I don't know." Raquel stuttered, unable to give her an answer.

“We have the money, but most importantly, we have the will to protect our children and the intelligence to survive out there, even though we are wanted globally by justice. Let's go to some fucked up country in Asia or Latin America. Indonesia, Thailand, Colombia, México. Any country with a police force useless enough to go undetected.”

Raquel looked at Mónica, searching for advice, but before either of them could say anything else, they were interrupted by a couple of knocks on the door.

“Come in!" Raquel said, thinking it was the doctor again, or maybe Paula or her mother.

To her surprise, it was Sergio who showed up behind the big wooden door.

She swallowed hard, looking back at Mónica and Alicia. Terror overflowing from her gaze.

“You can do it.” Mónica whispered. "Why don't we go check on the kids, Mrs. Sierra?" She nudged Alicia.

“Yeah, yeah! I think it's time to feed Victoria."

Both women left the room, but not before giving Raquel encouraging glances and smiles.

"What are you doing here?" Raquel asked him, anger bubbling inside her again.

"Paula told me you weren't feeling well."

Raquel scoffed and rolled her eyes. Of course her daughter wasn't going to be able to keep her mouth shut. "It's nothing, it's just fatigue and the result of the blows and injuries knocking me off."

"Are you sure? Paula told me that you were in a lot of pain and that you had a fever. Have you called the doctor yet?” He sounded genuinely concerned.

“I already did, and I'm fine. All things considered. It's just… stress. He gave me something for the pain and fever.”

“Good, good.” Sergio mumbled. They both went silent, until Sergio spoke again. "You haven't eaten anything, maybe you should… I don't know… try to eat something."

"Right now I don't feel like eating."

“Raquel, you—”

"I need to tell you something." She interrupted him.

“Something?"

"It is important."

Sergio shifted his weight from one foot to the other, nervously, adjusting his glasses. "Tell me."

Raquel took a deep breath. “First of all, I want you to know that… this doesn't change anything. I meant everything I said before. I’m done.”

"You made that very clear earlier." He uttered regretfully.

“Yeah… well…” She swallowed, her mouth suddenly feeling like she'd swallowed a fistful of soil. It felt so dry. "Sergio, I... I... I'm pregnant ..."

Chapter Text

Composure

If there was one word to describe Sergio Marquina, it was composure. In the most tense moments, in the most critical situations, he always managed to maintain his composure and a cool head. His head had to be always in the game. He was a chess player after all. He couldn't afford to lose composure. He had never done it… except for two occasions.

The first one: When he heard how his brother was slaughtered under a rain of bullets.

The second one: When he heard Raquel being slaughtered with a bullet to her head.

Both times he allowed himself to lose every ounce of composure within him. He fell to his knees on the ground, screaming and crying his heart out.

Now, although the circumstances were completely different — it was about life, not death — Sergio couldn't keep a cool head. Raquel was pregnant. They were going to have a child. His brain couldn't process that information. Too many feelings at once crossed and shook his being like waves crashing against the rocks of the ocean. One after another. He was shocked. Afraid. Happy. Upset.

He was going to be a father. When he made that stupid deal with Nairobi, he never considered the weight of what that really meant. For him it was just a transaction. But now it was completely different. It was a child, a product of his love with his first and only love of his life. As Raquel had said, a part of him. Of them.

“What did you just say?” His voice was barely a murmur so subtle that in his shocked state he couldn't tell if he had really said it out loud or if it was just a fleeting thought.

"What you heard." Raquel answered and walked to the other side of the bed, putting it like a physical barrier between her and Sergio. "I'm pregnant."

"Since-since when did you know?!” Sergio brought his hand to his head, feeling as if his brain was being shredded with all the information he was trying to process.

Raquel scoffed. "Why? You want to do the math to see if you'll share any blame with me for keeping quiet."

“I—” Sergio gasped, trying to breathe in and out, trying to keep a cool head. “Did you know it before entering the bank? Before coming here? Since when do you know it? How far along are you?!”

Sighing, she took a seat on the bed, her back to him, holding onto the edge, clutching the quilt in her fists for dear life. “I knew it… I knew it the day I walked into the bank… a couple of hours later.”

"How did you find out?" Sergio asked. He couldn't understand how she had found out while being there and with everything happening around them. Or what had happened that led her to do it.

Raquel huffed. “Short story… one of the hostages who used to be a midwife and a nurse gave me a checkup. I hadn't been feeling good… I had my suspicions, so…”

“Did you have suspicions? Since when? Why didn't you tell me before?"

“Because it was just that, suspicions!” She ran her hand through her hair. She was too tired to be having this conversation right now.

"How far along are you?"

“10 or 11 weeks according to the doctor.” She said in a low voice, bringing her hand to her stomach.

“You-you… you were pregnant since we were in Palawan?!” Sergio exclaimed incredulously.

She scoffed. “Remember the night before you left to meet Tokio? We spent the whole night making love.” She smiled with a mixture of longing and anger. “I think that was the night. Everything was so different that night. Even without knowing what you were up to with Tokio it was like deep inside I knew everything was about to change from that moment on and I wanted to cling to any drop of normality we still had left within the intimacy of our bedroom.”

“You were different that night.” Sergio uttered.

Raquel closed her eyes tightly. “So were you. The only difference is that you knew what was happening. You knew our lives were about to change and you kept that from me until you brought Tokio into our home.”

“When I came back, did you have any suspicions?”

“No. I wasn't even late when you came back.”

“And when we were at the monastery?”

She huffed and rolled her eyes. "It never occurred to me that I might be pregnant when I decided to join your stupid plan."

“But you suspected it! Since when did you suspect it?”

“For a couple of weeks. I missed my period two months in a row… among other symptoms that could very well be PMS or pregnancy.”

Like in a movie, Sergio's mind traveled backwards, trying to remember any sign. She had been hungrier, but she had also felt sick many times there in the monastery and also in the motorhome. She had been moodier than ever, but both of those things he associated with the stress of what they were about to do. Her body… her body had changed. He knew her from head to toe, every curve, every crease, every scar, every freckle. He had every inch of her body memorized to perfection and it had changed. He never mentioned it, why would he? For him it would always be perfect. But he knew. Her breasts were more full and sensitive than normal. Her hips and her thighs were thicker and she hadn't mentioned her period in a long time. All the signs were there.

"Why didn't you tell me as soon as you found out?"

Raquel laughed acidly. “What did you expect me to do? Did you expect me to tell you that we had Gandía and that I was pregnant in the same breath? For god's sake, Sergio!”

“You could’ve told me when we met again! O-or if you had told me since you first had suspicions, I-I—”

“You what? Would you have banned me from joining the plan? Would you have put me on the first boat back to the Philippines?!”

“Of course I would!” Sergio retorted. "You should have told me!”

She was really trying with all her being to hold back, but it was useless. She bit her lip hoping the sob that was threatening to escape wouldn't echo through the room. She didn't want him to see her cry.

“I was so stupid that… I decided to keep quiet because I wanted to surprise you.” It was useless, she sobbed, biting her lips. “I wanted-I wanted it to be special. I… I didn't have a moment like that with Paula. When I told Alberto the first thing he asked me was how far along I was and if I was in time for an abortion. I… I wanted to plan a special moment, I wanted to tell you and then together tell Paula and my mother and… and the band. That band of traitors that I thought were my friends!” She wiped away her tears.

Her words and sobs were like thorns aimed straight at his soul. And he deserved it, he knew he deserved this pain because it wasn't even a quarter of what Raquel was feeling.

None of them said anything for a good few seconds, until Sergio dared to break the silence.

"And now, what are we going to do? I… Raquel, I want to be in my child’s life. Because… because you will keep it, right? You are keeping the baby.” Sergio’s words were more like a plea than an actual question.

Raquel scoffed. "I'm not going to lie to you... for a brief moment I considered abortion. I'm still in time to get one. Not that healthcare system guidelines matter in my current legal situation. But… I’m just so attached already. Even if there are chances it won't make it to full term.”

“What do you mean?!” Panic. There was so much panic in his words.

“I have been bleeding constantly. The doctor said that he was able to detect partial placenta previa. Not to mention everything I've been through in the last few days, physically and emotionally. My age. So… chances are this could end in a miscarriage.”

Sergio immediately rushed to her side, getting down on his knee in front of her. He tried to take her hands, but they were clasped over her stomach. Tears streaming from her bloodshot eyes. “Listen to me, Raquel. That won't happen, okay? Our baby will be fine, and he or she will be born strong and healthy. The both of you will get the best medical care. I will bring the best doctors and you and our baby will be fine!”

No matter how furious Raquel was with him, his words of reassurance were of great comfort in these moments of darkness and uncertainty. She wasn't lying, she was truly attached to this baby. She already loved it with all her being. With or without Sergio, she would keep it.

"We are together in this." Sergio said. Raquel smiled subtly, biting her lower lip. “Why don't you try to rest now? You-you said you weren't feeling well. How do you feel now?"

"Exhausted." Raquel croaked.

"We can continue this conversation later." He suggested, noticing her face indeed extremely tired. Feeling guilty for subjecting her to this talk when what she should be doing was resting. For her and for their baby’s sake.

Swiftly, Sergio helped her into bed, noticing how she winced and hissed with every movement of her aching body. He wanted to hold her so bad. He wanted to wrap her in her arms and cry with joy at the good news. He wanted to kiss her and reaffirm his infinite love today more than ever. But he simply covered her with the sheets and duvet and turned off the lights so she could have a better rest, but before leaving the room, Raquel's hoarse voice called him again.

“I meant what I said earlier.” She reminded him. “This won't change anything. Yes, we are in this together, only when it comes to the baby, but you and I are over.”

Sergio swallowed and fixed his glasses over his nose and closed the door behind him. Immediately afterwards, he hurried over to where he knew the doctor was. He wanted to know everything about the health of Raquel and their child.

Finding him in his room and without even knocking on the door, he entered.

"Professor! What can I do for you?"

“I need to know everything about the health of Lisboa. Everything."

“Oh… well…” He remembered that Lisboa had asked him to keep her pregnancy a secret. "She... as I told you yesterday, she has some wounds and bruises but they will heal within the following days, and well—"

“I know she is pregnant.” Sergio interrupted him. "She just told me."

The doctor huffed in relief. "Well, in that case, first of all, congratulations on the baby!”

Sergio felt awkward, it was his first congratulation, he never imagined that he would receive such a congratulation. The news still hadn't fully landed on him.

"Thank you." He smiled sheepishly. "She also told me about her health problems."

“Right now she and the baby are doing fine as far as they can go. The bleeding hasn't returned, which is good. Being in the first few weeks, placenta previa can correct itself as the pregnancy progresses. The rest is just a matter of her leading a calm life, without stress or unexpected shocks. No more heists!” The doctor pointed at him with a teasing smile.

Sergio shuddered. So much for a quiet life. And all thanks to him.

He cleared his throat. “I will make sure she has a quiet life.”

"I know you will."

"And for that, I need you to stay for as long as we are here and then come with us when we are in our new location and until the baby is born."

He laughed nervously. “Professor, you know that I can't stay! I have my own practice out there, and a family; my wife and my kids! I can't leave them alone for so long."

“I will pay you four times what I already paid you. A house; no more mortgage. A car. I will arrange university funds for your children, wherever they want to study. You just have to set the price.” The offer sounded very tempting. “I need you to be with us until our child is born. I need to make sure my-my… the mother of my child has the best medical care 24/7”

“Professor, I understand that you want the best for her and the baby, believe me I do. I myself want the best for my little ones, and for them alone your offer is very tempting. But they are so little, I can't leave them for months. I can come once or twice a month if you like. Or I can recommend you to another doctor, of my complete trust.”

Under other circumstances, Sergio would have told him to just walk away. But somehow he now understood his motives. He pondered on how much he missed Paula while he was away, and how much she missed them. Their absence had affected her deeply. He couldn't leave these kids without their father for so long.

"Ok, I'll need you to come twice a month and for the last trimester, I want you to be there fifteen days before her due date and a week after the birth. And I want you to bring everything necessary for Mrs. Lisboa’s delivery. I want her to have all the best care and comfort we can give her.”

"Count on it, Professor." The doctor agreed.

"Thank you." He smiled slightly and left his room.

Half asleep, Raquel stirred gently in bed and reached her hand to the other side of the bed only to find this space empty and cold. She shivered, the damn room was so cold and as much as she hugged herself she couldn't control the constant trembling, even in her sleep.

Opening her eyes, she found the room completely submerged in darkness. No candles lit on and not even the light of the moon managed to filter through the window. Everything was in darkness.

Finding that her body was no longer so sore thanks to the anti-inflammatories the doctor had given her, she sat up in bed, hissing when her toes touched the cold stone floor. She didn't know what time it was, but based on the darkness of the sky alone, Raquel assumed it was the middle of the night. It was the middle of the night and she was cold and hungry.

She briefly considered going back to sleep and waiting until morning to go out for breakfast. But her hunger was so fierce that she didn't know if she could wait whatever hours until dawn. She got up to turn on the lights, her eyes narrowing at the sudden change in the lighting as she reached for her watch. 3:25 a.m. Fuck, no way she was going to wait until dawn to have breakfast.

Finding no other option, Raquel took her fluffy robe and put on her slippers to go to the kitchen to get something to eat. When she went out into the hall she expected to find herself back in the gloom of the night, but it wasn't like that. At the end of it was an open door with lights coming from inside the room.

Raquel walked down the hall with tentative steps. Peaking in cautiously, she managed to see Sergio inside, sitting on an old wooden chair in front of a small wooden table just as old, on top of it his glasses and a glass of red wine. It seemed that he was going through some photographs. Apart from the table and the chair, there wasn't anything else in the room, there wasn't even a bed, there was only a sleeping bag and some blankets thrown on the floor, there wasn't even a pillow.

She tried to be as stealthy as possible and walk down the hall and past the door without being noticed by Sergio.

"Raquel?" Of course he was going to notice her. "Raquel, what are you doing out here, up so late?"

"I could say the same, what are you doing up so late?" Raquel asked him, her voice soft and an edge of worry in her words.

“I… I couldn't sleep. I... I was—it doesn't matter. What are you doing here?"

"I-I was going to the kitchen to get some food."

"You haven't eaten anything since we got here."

"I know."

“You and the-the baby need food.” He tried to fix his glasses, finding out he wasn't wearing them.

"I know." She brought her hand to her stomach. "That's why I reluctantly got out of bed in search of food." There was a half smile in the corner of her lips.

“Go back to bed.” Sergio said. "I'll go get you some food."

“I'm ok. I can go get my own food.”

"Yes, but it's freezing out here, and you-you are—"

"I'm pregnant?" Raquel scoffed.

“No! You are… Well, you should rest. The doctor said so.”

“The kitchen is only a few meters away. I'm not going to die from walking a little."

“I insist.”

Raquel sighed. "Okay."

"Okay. Go back to bed, I'll be right back.”

Raquel did so, she returned to the room and climbed onto the bed to wait for Sergio to bring the food. Resting on her back, she untied her robe and placed both her hands over her not-for-too-long little belly. She caressed it gently while her stomach made hungry noises.

There were still so many emotions running through her body. Although she was calmer now, she was still angry, but mostly hurt. Deeply hurt. She didn't know how she was going to have a good relationship with Sergio when she was so hurt. But she refused to treat him as her enemy, not because of him, nor because of her, but because of their baby. Paula had already suffered from having two parents who hated each other and couldn't hold a conversation without cursing or raising their voices. She didn't want the same for this baby.

“Food is here.” Sergio entered the room after a while, holding a tray full of food in his hands.

Startled by his sudden presence, Raquel covered her belly immediately and tried to sit up, wincing when a stabbing jab traveled from her ribs to her spine.

“Are you okay?!” Sergio left the tray on a table and hurried to try to help her. Halting before getting to her, unsure if she was comfortable with his proximity or his touch.

”I'm okay, I'm okay. I'm just so damn sore. I can even blink without it hurting.”

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I knew what I was signing up for.”

“I… I’ll leave you the food. I brought you a little bit of everything. The Serbs prepared reform cake and… kro… krofne . I don't know if I pronounced it correctly but they are delicious. I'm sure you'll like them."

"Surely I will."

“Ok, well… I… I'll let you eat and rest.”

"Sergio, wait!" Raquel called out to him before he left the room. "I think... I think we have a pending conversation."

"I don't know if this is the best time. It's almost 4am. You should rest, tomorrow we can continue talking if you want.”

"No, I want to do it now." Raquel felt that if she didn't let that out of her chest right now, she wasn't going to get any rest that night.

"Okay. Do you want me to… bring you the food? We can talk while you eat.”

"Sure." Raquel made the effort to cross her legs on the bed and Sergio placed the tray of food there.

With the food in front of her, Raquel immediately took the fork and buried it in a small plate with mashed potatoes with small bits of toasted bacon. It looked so creamy and delicious. And it was indeed, so much it made her moan softly. One by one she tasted all the food. It didn’t seem like it, but the Serbs' cooking skills were out of this world. 

Sergio watched her eat standing at the foot of the bed while she devoured everything with singular pleasure.

"You can sit down, if you like."

Sergio took a seat on the very corner of the mattress. "Well, what did you want us to talk about?"

Raquel set her fork aside for a moment. She sighed, sensing that this was going to be more difficult than she planned but hoping—wishing—that it wasn't.

“Sergio, I… I… I am really, really hurt by what you did. I don't know if there could be an us after that and I don't know if I can forgive you in the near future."

“I understand that you are hurt, but Raquel—”

"Please let me speak." She asked him. “I am hurt, but our problems are ours , not of our child. And I don't want our baby to grow up in a hostile, toxic environment. I don't want him or her to have to witness what Paula witnessed."

“I also don't want our child to grow up in an environment where he or she doesn't feel safe."

Raquel took another breath and a sip of water, feeling her heart beat rapidly in her chest. "That's why... despite how hurt I am, I'm willing to put our problems aside for the sake of our baby.”

“Do you mean—” Sergio looked at her with hopeful eyes.

"No! It's not what you think. I meant to say that I am willing to try to have a cordial relationship with you for the sake of our baby. You... you can be present in its life as much as you want, I will never stop you. But we… well.”

“Raquel, there may still be an us! If only you—"

"I can’t!" She cut him off. "I can't, Sergio. And right now I'm making a superhuman effort to be polite to you when what I want is to… scream at you!”

"Then scream at me!" Sergio urged. “Unleash all your rage on me, but please, let’s try to save us. That's all I'm asking. One chance.”

"I can't." She mumbled.

“So…that’s it? Are you going to give up on us just like that?” He couldn't believe that after everything they'd been through, she wouldn't even consider giving their love a chance. "Are you going to run away at the first problem in our relationship?"

“Is it really the first problem?!” She challenged him. He knew what she was talking about. The fight they had before they were caught in the middle of the forest.

“I thought we were past that!”

“Right now, all I can offer you is an amicable co-parent-ship. For our child's sake."

Sergio sighed in defeat. "Okay." He said, even though inside he was holding on to that “ right now ”. Taking it as a hope that in the future, maybe she could be open to saving their relationship. So, he would take it. For now. He had set his mind on it, he would do everything to earn her forgiveness, but especially, her trust.

“Before I go,” Sergio continued, “I would like us to talk to Paula soon. Tomorrow if possible.”

Raquel swallowed a gasp. "I-I'm not ready to talk to her yet."

"Wasn't the omission what got us into this situation in the first place?" He reminded her. "She deserves it, Raquel. She is already planning what we will do when we return home, I don't want her to continue creating false expectations. The blow of the truth will be more painful.”

“First I want to think about what we will tell her.”

"The truth."

“Do you want me to tell her that you were planning to have a child with another woman and that’s why we will no longer be together? Is that what you want us to tell her?!”

“We don't need to get there. It is enough to tell her that you and I are no longer together, for… for adult reasons.”

Raquel scoffed subtly. “Adult reasons.”

"I don't want to hurt her with the truth."

"Hurt her or make her see you in a different light?"

“Do you mean… that she could hate me?” Raquel shrugged. "Do you hate me?"

Her gaze immediately searched for him, disbelief in her eyes. "Do you think I hate you?" Now he shrugged. "If this is hurting me like hell it's precisely because I love you!" She cried between clenched teeth. "Because the man I've loved the most has hurt me like no one else has!"

“Raquel, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. You have to believe me!”

The throbbing headache was coming back, stronger than before. "I'm not feeling okay, can you please—"

“Do you want me to call the doctor?!”

"I want you to leave me alone!” Raquel grunted.

“I just want to know if you—”

“I am fine!” She snapped. "I want to go back to bed and sleep, can you let me do that?"

Sergio nodded. “I'll take the tray. Rest."

"We'll talk to Paula tomorrow.”

"As you wish."

After Sergio left the room, Raquel lay back down on the bed, burying her face in his pillow, searching for his scent as if it were a magic potion to help her fall asleep. She closed her eyes, recreating in her mind all those beautiful moments lived in that room. All the times they succumbed to lust and passion, making love for hours. The midnight pillow talks. Now all those memories would be nothing more than ghosts, the memory of what was and will be no more.

She didn't want to leave the room. It had been two days since Raquel had been locked in there. It wasn't like she had to come out, but she couldn't stay locked in there forever, as much as she wanted to.

She and Sergio had agreed that they would talk to Paula about their new family situation. She didn't want to, but not doing it was selfish and hypocritical.

But she didn't want to be in front of that bunch of traitors who once said were her friends and had her back. She felt like she was going to burst into flames just by looking at them.

As she decided whether or not to go out, her thoughts were interrupted by a light knock on the door.

“Come in." She said, her heart refused to accept that deep down she hoped it was Sergio.

"Hey!" Mónica peeked through the door.

"Hey." She greeted her with a kind smile. Hiding her disappointment.

"How are you? Did you sleep well?"

“I'm…good. All things considered. Still a bit sore though.”

“Did I take your medications already?”

“No, I was going to, but I've run out of water. I was heading to the kitchen to get more.”

"I can bring you, if you like."

"No, Mónica." Raquel refused. "I don't want you to think that I am taking you as my servant."

“Nonsense." Mónica smiled and approached Raquel, sitting next to her on the bed. "It's just a little help for a friend."

Raquel suddenly felt emotional. She didn't have many friends, or rather, she didn't have any friends. The few that she had ended up walking away from her thanks to Alberto. Alicia among them. In the Philippines, many people and neighbors were friendly with her, but not her close friends. She had no one to trust, to lean on, no one to talk about her sorrows and joys, her triumphs and failures. But her connection with Monica had been practically immediate. She could say with certainty that she was a good friend. Probably her only friend right now.

"Thank you." Raquel took her hand and gave it a light squeeze.

"I can bring you breakfast too, if you want." Mónica volunteered.

“ Nooo! " She chuckled. "I have to leave my burrow at some point and I think it's about time."

"I have an idea!" Mónica began, showing her enthusiasm and willingness to make her friend feel better. “Outside the day is beautiful, it finally stopped raining. Why don't we find a nice corner in one of the gardens and have breakfast with the kids and your mom?”

“Why don't we change it for lunch? Right now… Sergio and I decided that we are going to talk to Paula about… our new situation. And I want to do it as soon as possible.”

"Actually... Paula is in Sergio's room."

“Is she?”

"Yeah, I just saw them." Mónica said. "By the way... if you don't mind me asking... How did it go?”

Raquel sighed heavily. "I don’t know. Fine, I guess. Despite my anger, I have decided to keep a friendly relationship with him for the baby's sake. Paula already suffered a toxic environment, I don't want the same for this baby.” She said and brought her hand to her stomach, like every time she thought about that tiny life growing inside her.

"That's very thoughtful of you."

“Yeah, well… it was that or act on my anger and hide the truth from him, but risking that in the future it would blow up in my face. Hurting my child in the process.”

Following a few seconds of silence, Paula and Sergio's laughter echoed off the old rock walls of the monastery. The joyous sound only made things a million times more difficult. They were about to shut down that sweet laugh.

"I think it's time."

"Good luck. I will be in the garden if you need anything.”

"Thank you."

The corridors of the monastery were completely empty when Raquel finally dared — after almost 3 days — to leave her room. Apparently everyone was gathered for breakfast, given the faint voices coming from the courtyard.

At the end of the corridor, the door to Sergio's room was open. She could hear Paula's giggles. She felt her heart squeeze. She was laughing now, and in a few minutes she might be heartbroken. Having grown up in a dysfunctional environment, finally, in the last two years, Paula had gotten a glimpse of what it was like to have a functional and loving family.

Although it was difficult at first, once she settled into her new reality, everything went smoothly for everyone. Paula loved her life in Palawan, she loved her friends in the village, she loved playing with her cat, she loved swimming in the sea, she loved Tala (her Tagalog teacher), she loved joining her and Sergio for their Friday market shopping, she loved Sergio…

"And him, who is he?" Paula asked Sergio, holding a photograph in her hands.

"He's my dad."

Paula lifted the photo, comparing it next to Sergio's face, releasing a sweet giggle. “You look a lot like him! And she, who is she?”

All this interaction, Raquel witnessed from the shadows of the corridor, outside the room.

Sergio swallowed and adjusted his glasses, taking the picture from Paula's hands. “She… she is my mother.”

“And where is she now? And your dad?”

“They… they are no longer here.”

“Are they on vacation?” Paula asked innocently.

Sergio smiled gloomily. “No, they… they died many years ago.”

"Oh..."

There were a few seconds of silence between them, and Raquel took advantage of it to knock on the door.

"Mommy!" Paula smiled again when she saw her mom.

“Hey… what are you doing?” Raquel queried, glancing at the photographs on the table.

“Sergio was showing me some photos of his family. Look, she was his mommy!” Paula showed her the photograph.

Raquel took it and looked at the woman in it. She was a beautiful woman. It was a candid shoot. The woman was sitting on a blanket on the grass, a small boy hugging her from behind, burying his face in her neck as she smiled widely. The same smile as Sergio.

"She was your mom?" Raquel addressed Sergio with a shy smile. It was the first time she had seen an image of his mother. On more than one occasion, Sergio had told her about his mom. He had described her in as much detail as possible, but no words could do justice to how beautiful she was.

Sergio smiled back. “The boy is me. We were having a picnic day. My dad took the picture.”

"She was a very beautiful woman, Sergio."

"I know." He mumbled.

“Where did you get these pictures from?”

“Martín gave them to me.” Sergio said. "Apparently my brother left them at his old house a few years ago."

“I see.”

There were many photographs. From the pile of these, Raquel took a polaroid of a baby, reading what it said below, written in thick letters with black marker

Sergio, 1979

First birthday 

Raquel couldn’t help but smile, subconsciously wondering if their baby would inherit some of his physical traits. Maybe his dark hair, his chubby cheeks, his dimples, his nose or his smile. She could picture a little boy, or maybe a little girl. With her hair as blonde as hers, but wavy like Sergio's, his dimples, her smile, his nose, her eyes. The perfect mix of the two of them.

“So… Paula.” Sergio abruptly burst into her dreamy moment. "Your mom and I need to talk to you."

She swallowed hard and a chill ran down her spine.

“Are we going back home?!” Paula beamed. “I miss our home so much! And my room, and my friends!”

" Cariño ." Raquel took Paula by the hand, lifting her from the chair to take a seat and sit her on her lap. “Unfortunately, it won’t be possible to return to Palawan. But I promise you that our new home will be just as beautiful as our old house.”

"But why?" Paula pouted, looking really disappointed.

"Because we…. Got a new house. I’m sure you’re going to like it. Can you guess where we are going to live now?”

Paula shrugged. “I don’t know. Are we going back to Spain?”

“No, honey, we are not. But you are going to like this new place and you are going to make a lot of new friends.”

“Okay.”

"Besides... your mom and I..." Sergio intervened, searching for Raquel's gaze. “Your mom and I—”

“Can we have another cat?!” Paula interrupted him. “Will we live again by the beach? I want us to live by the beach again. And—”

“Honey, honey, honey, please, listen to us!” Raquel stopped her babbling.

She was making things just so much harder. Paula was looking forward to her new home, making plans. Raquel was willing to fulfill all her requests. The house by the beach, a kitten, the room of her dreams. She just didn't know how to tell her that said plans no longer included one person.

"Sorry." Paula apologized.

"It's okay, darling." Sergio caressed her head.

“So… what Sergio and I wanted to tell you is…” Now she searched Sergio's gaze for support.

“Look, honey.” Sergio started. "First of all, you know that your mom and I adore you, don't you?"

Paula nodded energetically. “Yes, I do.”

Raquel combed her hair lovingly, a knot starting to form in her throat. "And no matter what, we will always, always love you so much."

“I know." Paula was starting to look apprehensive. The last time that her mother and Sergio had acted this way, was before going on that mysterious trip, before losing them for many weeks. "Are you going on a trip again?" She asked, her eyes sparkling with pooled tears. "I don't want you to leave me alone again!”

"No, no, no my love, we will not go on another trip again." Raquel assured her.

“You promise? I don't want you to leave me again!” Paula almost whimpered.

God, this was so hard for both Raquel and Sergio.

“Paula, we will never leave you.” Sergio also assured her.

“Then why are you talking like when we had to leave our home and you left me alone with grandma?”

"Dear, what your mom and I want to tell you is not very easy... but... she and I..."

“We are having a baby!” Raquel blurted out.

Sergio's eyes locked on hers in complete astonishment. His gaze was full of confusion and perplexity. This was not what they had planned. Yes, he knew that at some point they had to tell her about the baby, but right now, the plan was to tell her about their breakup.

"Raquel." Sergio gasped.

Raquel gave him a look, as if telling him to shut his mouth and not dare to say a word. At least not for now…