Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mid-July. The air was dense, humid, and hot, which Katsuki hated. He didn't do well with extreme temperatures. Nitroglycerin is really unstable in the cold which makes his quirk a pain in the ass to control, and when it is hot he sweats way too much, which also makes his quirk a pain in the ass to control. So in both cases, he had to really concentrate on every move so he wouldn't burst something, or someone, accidentally. But if he had to choose, he would prefer Summer over Winter.

Summer. 

He made it to another summer. 

Breathing this heavy air again meant something to him. With all that's happened in the past months, all that’s happened to him, it was a miracle to be alive. But here he was, alive, being able to hate and complain about the hot weather. And yet, he didn’t feel so victorious as he should. Because even though he was experiencing a new summer, not everyone had gotten so lucky.

They were broken. 

Everything, everyone. 

Cities were still being rebuilt, citizens and heroes were still recovering in hospitals, people were still trying to heal from losing their houses, their friends, their families. It hasn’t been long since their war against the League of Villains and the Liberation front, and what happened in Japan was an alarm to the rest of the world. 

The League was defeated at a very high cost, but that didn’t mean that it was over. They knew it. And people were absolutely terrified at the possibilities. And who could tell them that they were wrong when even the so-called “heroes” were just as lost? 

Classes, of course, were delayed. No one expected them to just jump from that to school again. So their second year was going to start in September instead of April. The students in UA didn’t get to finish the school year, but all of them were automatically approved due to the circumstances. Bakugou wasn’t sure about what to expect from this year.

His cell phone buzzed underneath his pillow. He took it and saw a message in the group chat he was in with Deku and All Might. 

“Young ones, I won’t be able to attend today, but please continue your training without me. 
And no skipping”

All Might had put this group together so they could talk better to each other for “training purposes”. But Bakugou knew why he did it. He wanted to make sure both he and Deku didn’t neglect their health or succumb to their thoughts. Because All Might was well aware that they blamed themselves over everything, and no matter how much he talked to them, the idea was tattooed in their brains. 

Katsuki still hasn't really moved on from the fact that if he hadn’t been captured last year, All Might would still be able to fight, and maybe the world wouldn’t be so messed up right now, even if he already knew that wasn’t the case. And Izuku felt that if he had done something sooner, if he had been able to stop Shigaraki before, if he had just been better, then he wouldn’t have inherited All for One and killed so many people. 

That’s why as soon as they recovered from their wounds from the fight, All Might put the boys under his wings once more and almost every day would meet them, and train them, and talk to them. Anything to distract their minds. Because the more the two boys punished themselves, the more Toshinori did the same. It was him that didn’t finish All for One in time, it was him that overlooked the dangers and wrongs in society, it was him that didn’t prepare young Midoriya enough, it was him. He failed, and still, the two boys insisted on carrying this weight with him, regardless of what he said. 

But deep, deep down they all had conscious that it wasn’t their fault. They were complacent in the system that caused this, of course. But the discrimination, the habit of labeling even kids as “villains” based on their quirks and appearance, the way everything was overlooked by others because “the heroes would take care of this”, these things were to blame. 

And that meant Shigaraki right. The “villains” were right. 

Society was already seeing “heroes” with other eyes, and things would need to really change from now on. This was not a battle they could win by force. The ideology Stain preached about a year ago had taken proportions that not even he saw coming. Revolutions and protests were gaining force all over the world, and they didn’t know what to do. Now was not safe, not satisfactory, not right. But… How do you make it better?

“We sure will, right Kacchan?”

Deku’s message popped up below All Might’s. Bakugou just sent a thumbs-up emoji and left the chat. 

He looked at all the unread messages he was meant to answer. He opened Kirishima’s chat. “Hey, are you good, man? you’ve been missing!”, and “Not manly, bro, ignoring your friends like this”, and “It’s been weeks already, I’m worried!”. All of these between memes, and articles about a conspiracy theory of a show they’re watching, like trying to lure him to at least answer anything. 

He touched the screen and the cursor started flashing. He stared at it. On, off, on, off, on, off. Just write something! He typed a letter, deleted it. Keysmashed as if it would magically create a sentence for him, deleted it. Eventually, he gave up writing an answer. Again. 

The thing is, the time you stay without answering someone and your anxiety level about said action are directly proportional. 

Katsuki got out of bed and started changing, for he was supposed to meet Deku in an hour and a half in an empty warehouse they used to practice. Downstairs, he put a few protein bars and an isotonic drink in his bag. He noticed his parents weren’t around, which meant they were either working in the studio on the third floor, or they were out. Not that he cared. He put his headphones on and left the house.

Bakugou arrived at the warehouse before Deku did, as per usual. He unlocked the heavy metal door and got in. The air was almost touchable inside, the windows were too small and too high, being at fault for the lack of air circulation and light. He hated that place. He changed the playlist and started his yoga routine. That was one of the reasons he liked getting there early, to do it alone with nobody around. First, because he didn’t want to be mocked (not that anyone would actually mock him). But also because he started yoga to work more on his breath control, to see if it helped him be more centered and calm, and he'd rather do that by himself.

The metal door opened up again, the noise echoing through space. Katsuki lifted his head to watch as Deku walked up to him, sat down, and started stretching. None of them said anything. After Izuku was finished, he opened a big smile and turned at him.

“Ready, Kacchan?”, he asked, getting up and reaching out his hand to help Bakugou get up. 

“Yes”, he stood up, taking Deku’s hand. 

They warmed up together, then moved on to the real thing. 

First was the “no quirk” routine. They raced in a predetermined path, then whoever lost had to do 100 push-ups with the other on their back. Their win rate was pretty even since Deku had finally caught up to Kacchan. Today, Bakugou won. So Deku lied on the ground and waited for the other boy to sit with his legs crossed on his back. The first time All Might suggested it, both of them were really uncomfortable with the contact, but they got used to it by now. 

After that, they fought without giving the loser time to rest. It was good to build stamina. Over the past year, Izuku improved a lot in hand-to-hand combat, so much so that he almost never lost to Katsuki, even when he’s tired, which always got to Bakugou’s nerves. But if he is to be honest, he wanted Deku to improve. So even though he’d still get mad, it would be more at himself, for not being better, than at Midoriya. 

Sometimes, while they were fighting, there was an unspoken agreement between them that it was okay to now use their quirks. 

They stepped away from each other and the way Katsuki twisted his neck and how Deku bent his knees meant: it’s time. They activated their quirks and attacked each other again. Izuku was trying to only use Blackwhip lately because it was a lot more comfortable to his body. So he left One for All aside and relied on other powers. 

Bakugou won that round. After they regained their breath, they went outside and jogged around the block to cool down and breathe fresh air. They never ran side by side, Izuku always stayed at least 2 steps behind Katsuki. Then they returned back inside and stretched again. Sometimes, if they were feeling up to it, they’d do it all over again. Today was not one of those days. 

“You did well today, Kacchan!”, Deku praised. It was the second time he’d spoken that day. Their training had been absolutely silent. 

It was becoming more and more like that, especially when All Might wasn’t there, as if they were moving on autopilot. Both him and Deku knew better than to ask how they were doing, or to try to engage in a serious, or any, conversation. They weren’t very articulate when it came to expressing themselves to each other. Funny enough, they were the only two people who could properly understand and accept the other one’s feelings. 

And Kacchan might not admit it, but he actually liked this. Get out of his house, let off some steam, and go back. And it was a relief when they didn’t speak. It’s been so long since Bakugou had actually tried to maintain a conversation with anyone that he was scared he didn’t remember how to form proper sentences anymore. So, yeah, All Might got it right, these training sessions were comfortable to them. And very, very much needed.

“Shut up, nerd”, he spat. He still couldn’t take positive words from Deku. It was different if someone else said it but from him… He just couldn’t. It always felt condescending, and he couldn’t crack why. Katsuki was packing his things up and noticed Midoriya doing the same.  “Aren’t you staying a little bit more today?”, he asked. Bakugou gets there early, and Midoriya leaves late, that’s how it usually goes.

“No. I’m coming back with you if that’s okay!”, he said, getting ready to leave too.

“It’s not!”, he opened the warehouse door, leaving it open so Deku could follow behind. 

“Well, that’s too bad, then”. He got the keys from his bag and locked the door. Bakugou was a few meters ahead already, so he quickened to reach him, again staying two steps behind him. 

“Why the fuck are you even going home already? It’s the third day in a roll you do this. Are you getting lazy or something, Deku?”, he questioned over his shoulder, without really looking at him. 

“What? No, of course not!”, he muttered. “I have a… thing”.

“A thing?”, Bakugou raised an eyebrow, fully turning his head to face Midoriya.

“Yeah, a thing”, he touched the back of his neck, blushing.

“What kind of thing?”, Bakugou couldn’t understand his own curiosity.

“It’s nothing, Kacchan!”, he dismissed the question, embarrassed. “Can you please drop the subject?”, he stared back at Katsuki. 

“What the hell are you trying to hide, shitty Deku?”, he queried angrily. 

Izuku sighed. “Why do you still act like this?”, he walked past Bakugou. Before the blond boy could say anything, the green dot turned left on the next corner. It wasn’t the correct way to the train station, so Katsuki figured Deku would take the bus. 

Bakugou didn’t understand what went wrong, or why the stupid broccoli had gotten so mad. He didn’t say anything much to upset him, did he? The worst thing is: he also didn’t understand why he was pondering over this. Why he suddenly cared. Was it suddenly, though? And why was he so disappointed by not knowing the answer? Was he that desperate to talk to someone that he resorted to him? It was one thing to practice with the boy, but they still weren’t in the chatty-buddies area. Was it because he hasn't been talking to his friends lately and Deku was the only one, besides his parents and All Might, he’d seen for weeks? What the fuck is up with me?

He took his phone from his pocket and texted Kirishima.

“Oi Shitty Hair, are you busy today?”

The moment he pressed send, he froze. The anxiety hitting him again. He was ignoring his best friends for weeks now, was it even okay to just go and send a message out of-

“Omg Bakubro!! 
Can’t believe you actually asnwrd
*answered”

As soon as Kirishima’s message popped up, the weight in his chests started to fade away. And it got lighter at every message. 

"And actually I was talking to Denki and he told me to meet him at Jirou’s place
U wanna go? 
They wanted to invite you but you wasn’t checking your messages”

“you *weren’t, idiot.
And why tf earphones house?”

“idk, he is there a lot these days
they’re gonna play, i guess
i think even tokoyami is going today
if you go it will be the whole band again!!!!!!! 
Pls tell me ur going!! 😳😳”

“Fine I’ll go! 
At what time?”

“Hmmmmm 
Meet me at the station at 5?”

“Sure”

He took the train and got home in 25 minutes. It was 2 pm, so he had plenty of time to cook, eat, and take a shower before heading to Jirou’s house. 

----------

At the station, he looked for Kirishima but didn’t find him anywhere. Late, of course. He cursed at himself for not having learned yet that Eijiro was never on time. Twenty minutes passed until he saw a red spot up the escalator. The first thing he noticed was that his hair was up on a ponytail. That’s new. He was wearing a blue T-shirt with a Jaws print over black cargo shorts and… God, no. Fuckin crocs. 

“I can’t believe you have the guts to wear that abomination outside your house”, ridiculed Katsuki.

“Hey, I’m a hero, I have to be brave, right?”, he grinned. “I missed you, bro!”, he punched Bakugou’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, let’s go”. 

“Aren’t you going to say you missed me back?”, he pouted. 

“No. Because I didn’t”, he answered. “And I don’t think I remember seeing you with your hair up like that”, commented Bakugou.

“Oh, yeah”, he started, looking down, “I don’t really like it, but my hair was a big mess today”.

“Today?”, teased Katsuki. Eijiro laughed. “It’s kinda sexy though, better than that stupid shit you do with it every day”, he confessed. 

“Awwwwwwn bro, you really think so?!”, he squealed, touching the baby hairs in his hairline, blinking repeatedly. Bakugou rolled his eyes. “Thank you, appreciate that!”, Eiji said, throwing his arms around Katsuki’s shoulder. 

“Argh, this is why I didn’t fucking miss you”, the boy griped.

It was a 10-minute walk to Jirou’s house. When they arrived, Tokoyami, Mina, Denki, and Sero were already there. Bakugou was greeted with joy by them, partly because they were worried about his month's disappearance (but they didn’t express it because they knew it would only make him uncomfortable), partly because they finally had a drummer. 

Mina was kicking some ass on Overwatch, while Sero was begging for her to let him play. When the match was over, she gave him the control. The boy died so quickly and so many times it was sad. Denki wouldn’t stop laughing at him. Bakugou met Tokoyami and Jirou in the kitchen and helped them make some appetizers and drinks. 

When all was done, they grabbed Kaminari and went to Jirou’s parents’ studio. Mina and Sero would follow them later. The studio had so many instruments it looked like a music store. While everyone was setting up their instruments, Kirishima took an acoustic guitar and started playing. Very. Badly.

“For fuck’s sake, someone take that away from him!”, Katsuki roared while putting the plates on the drums. He saw Dark Shadow fly over them and take the guitar from Eijiro’s hand. 

“Sorry, Kirishima. It is for the greater good!”, Tokoyami said from across the room. 

“One day, I’ll learn how to play it, and then it’s over for you, bitches!”, everyone let out a laugh or a giggle at Kirishima’s pouting. 

Since the school festival, when they realized that they actually could play really well together, it was normal for them to sometimes meet at Jirou’s place like this. They had some original songs she wrote, but most of the songs were covers. It wasn’t like they were really a band or anything, they didn’t have a name or regular practices. But they synced and they had fun doing that. So why stop?

Mina and Sero joined them about 10 minutes later when all the instruments were set and tuned. And just then Bakugou realized something.

“Where the fuck is Ponytails?”, he questioned. In the back, he saw Mina shake her hands in front of her neck. Drop the subject, dude. Drop the subject! Well, too late. He saw Jirou lower her eyes to the floor. 

“Yeah, we, hm… We...”, she whined. “We sort of broke up”. 

“Shit!”, he said as apologetic as it was possible for him. 

“It’s fine! We’re cool! Still friends! But it’s a good thing she is in London for now, though”, she smiled with the corner of her mouth.

“Well, if you need to punch something we can trade places”, Katsuki grinned, offering her the drumsticks. 

She laughed but accepted the offer. She needed to punch something. So she handed the bass over to Bakugou and took his place at the drums.

“Are you sure you can take it?”, she taunted at him. 

“Are you kidding, Aux Cord?”, he smirked. Of course he could take this. 

They played until late at night and only stopped to eat a pizza Sero ordered around eight. Mina, Sero, and Kirishima danced and jumped and clapped and sang along to every song.  They also took plenty of photos and videos, memories of the first summer they actually spent together like actual teenagers. 

No one dared to talk about what happened a few months ago, nor about their feelings or how they were dealing with things. 

They left her house at almost eleven, except for Mina who was going to stay the night over. Bakugou got home at around midnight, and couldn’t believe he was still up.

He was exhausted, but the good type. Even though he had been really tired lately, he still couldn’t rest. His sleep was interrupted by images he tried to forget and by situations he feared would still happen. He rarely got to sleep through the whole night without waking up.

Today, however, after the shower, he fell on the bed still in his underwear. He slept right away, without even getting under the sheets. And no dreams. It was a night filled with the blackness of his own mind. There was nothing and it was fucking relieving. 

Looking back to the past, Katsuki didn’t know why he was so hesitant about messaging his friends back. He was happy he found the guts to text Kirishima after all, because maybe he was in need of his friends. He never thought of himself as someone who needed other people to feel good, or “recharge”, but he probably changed without notice, which was understandable, and even expected. Or maybe... he has always been like this, who knows? It was just easier to believe that he wasn’t.

Chapter Text

The following weeks went by fast. 

Bakugou felt a little better after meeting his friends, and Kirishima made sure he wouldn’t fade again after that. Really made sure. He showed up at his house unannounced once, after not getting a reply for two days, and he found Katsuki with eyes red and swollen. Flashes came to his mind of when this first happened at the dorms, after Kamino, and he knew his friend was not being absent because he was being a little bitch. He was bad. 

So he would often sleep over at Bakugou’s because he knew the nights were worse for him, and Katsuki didn’t even try to send him away. 

Eijiro had to develop his own way of understanding what his friend was feeling and how to lift him up since the angry-blasty boy never let out his feelings around him and tried to act tough. He'd said over and over again that there was no need for Kastuki to try to hide his emotions, but it was no use. Bakugou still had too many walls up, and no matter how much he tried, Kirishima could not break them. 

Classes were going to start next week already and everyone was a little anxious. Their biggest fear was that their teacher wouldn’t be there to welcome them. They still haven’t heard from Mr. Aizawa, so they were not sure how he was doing. The only thing they knew was that he survived, nothing else. All Might also didn’t share much about the situation, so Deku and Kacchan were in the dark as much as the rest of the class. 

“Young Bakugou? Are you okay?”, All Might’s voice resonated in his head. 

“Eh? What is it?”, Katsuki said, blinking. 

“Did you hear a word I just said?”, Toshinori asked. 

No, he didn’t. 

“Yeah. Sure. Behave at school and all that shit.” he guessed. 

“Oh boy…” he sighed, “I said that we will continue our training on school grounds from now on, Saturday mornings, at least until your internship re-starts. But yeah, also behave, please”, he looked from Katsuki to Deku, and back to Katsuki again. They got the message. No fighting without his supervision or else they would suffer the consequences. 

Good thing is that this regular training helped them to stop arguing whatsoever. They let out all their feelings on each other every day already, so they - Bakugou mostly -  didn’t feel the need to fight all the time anymore. 

“We will!”, Deku said. “Thank you for all your help these past few months”, he bowed. Kacchan saw that he moved his fingers, and then noticed his look on him.

Argh, fine.   “Yeah, and we won’t cause you or the school any trouble”, he bowed too, unwillingly. 

“Good, I’m counting on both of you. You two had great progress together, and I only expect you to grow even more”, he bowed back to them. “You two have this week off to organize your things and move again. So I’ll see you next week". All Might said. Then he waved goodbye and left them alone at the warehouse. 

The boys decided that since it was their last session in a week, they could push it a little more. 

This exercise was similar to Capture the Flag. One of them held a piece of fabric or wood or whatever, and the other had ten minutes to get it. Then, they inverted roles. Deku was always great at getting the object from Bakugou now that he was comfortable with Blackwhip, but he still failed at keeping Kacchan from taking it when it was his turn. In summary, both of them were great at rescuing, not so great at protecting, which was frustrating. 

After the training, when they were stretching, Deku let out a whine. 

“What’s up, nerd?”, Kacchan said at pronto. Midoriya doesn't usually complain about pain, so it sounded an alarm in him. 

“I think I dislocated my shoulder”, he heaved. He had his left hand massaging his right arm, the face distorted in pain. By the corner of his eyes, he saw the blond boy get up and get behind him. 

“This might hurt”, Bakugou warned. 

“I’ve broken my arms so many times now I don’t even think I will- OUCH!”, he screamed when the boy put his shoulder back in place. 

“You were saying?”, Katsuki grinned. 

“Nothing”, Izuku cried, rotating his arm. “Thanks”. 

They finished stretching, got their things, and left the warehouse, happy that they weren’t going back there for a while now. They walked to the station together, Bakugou with his headphones, and Midoriya absorbing the noises of the city. The train was full, so they had to stand by the door. They got down at the same stop and walked the same path for three blocks. Before they got separate ways, Kacchan called. 

“Oi Deku!”

“Yes, Kacchan?”

“Your mom still doesn’t have a car, does she?”, he asked. 

“No, why?”

“My mom told me to ask you if you need help taking your things back to the dorms. I’m moving on Saturday”. 

“Oh, no, it’s fine, Kacchan!”, he waved his hands. “Truly, I got this! I don’t have many things I need to take anyway, so it will be okay if I take the train. I can always take a cab as well, so please thank Mitsuki-san for me, but it-”

“ Deku !”, Bakugou cut him. “For fuck’s sake! Just be ready Saturday at eight, got it?”

“Yes!”

----------

Saturday came sooner than he thought it would. When he heard the doorbell, his mother already started tearing up.

“Mom, I promise it will be okay. The worst is in the past! This year will be great, I can feel it”, Izuku said. 

“I know, I know. I just can’t help it”, Inko answered, opening the door. She was surprised to see Mitsuki on the other side instead of Katsuki. “Oh my! Mitsu-chan! I haven’t seen you in forever!”, she said, opening her arms to welcome Bakugou’s mom into a hug. 

“Dear god, Inko, you’re crying already?”, Mitsuki laughed, easily accepting Inko’s reception. “You really haven’t changed!”. Then she looked inside and saw him. “Izuku, honey, how are you?”

“I’m great, Mitsuki-san! Thank you for helping me out today!”, he bowed. 

“You know you don’t need to do that to me, sweety!”, she turned to Inko again. “God, yours is so much better than mine. You wanna trade?”, she joked. 

“I’m afraid I’ll have to decline”, his mom laughed. “Talking about him, where is Katsuki?”

“Oh, he is in the car”, Mitsuki pointed with her head as if they could see the street from there. 

“I see. You want to get in for a coffee?”, Mrs. Midoriya asked. 

“No need! If I take too long here that brat will explode the seats. But,” she raised a finger, “why don’t you come with us? We drop the boys at school and go out and have lunch later, like old times. What do you think?”, she proposed. 

“Hm, I don’t…”, Inko turned around to face her son. He nodded, encouraging her to say yes. “Okay, fine! I just need to put on proper clothes”.

“Great!”, Mitsuki cheered. “Izu-chan, go put your things in the car. I’ll wait for your mom!”

“Yeah, sure!”, Izuku said, grabbing two bags and leaving through the door. 

“How is he?”, the blond woman asked as soon as the boy was out of sight.

“Ah… He is fine. Better than I thought he would be, actually. And Katsuki?” Inko asked back, walking into her bedroom to change. She left the door open to hear the answer.

“That atomic bomb blew up his bed four times! It was a nightmare! But things got better after that red-head started to visit him. Blessed he be!”, he said.

“Kirishima-Kun?”

“Uhum! Such a sweet boy! Have no idea how he puts up with Katsuki”. 

“The same way I put up with you, darling!”, she shouted from the room.

“Oh, you love me! Besides, I’m awesome, okay?”.

Inko got out of her room with a purse and a blue summer dress. “And you wonder where your son got his mannerisms?”

“Oh, shut up, grass-hair!”, Mitsuki smiled. 

“Exactly my point”, she laughed. “Okay, I’m ready, let’s go”. 

Mitsuki expelled Katsuki from the front seat so that Inko could sit next to her. The drive was far from quiet, for it’s been a while since the two friends have seen each other and they needed to catch up on things. Kacchan had his headphones on while Deku was gladly listening to the conversation. He loved seeing his mom happy and talkative like that. He wished she got out more. 

They got to UA at 9 am and it was already full of people. 

“Fuck, everyone had the same stupid idea of moving at the same time??”, complained Bakugou. 

“Well, you idiot, classes start on Monday, so you were not a brainy strategist for choosing to move Saturday morning”, scolded Mitsuki from the driver’s seat.

She stopped the car in front of the 2A dorms. Seeing the number ‘2’ above the entrance was extremely gratifying. 

“Izuku, please be careful, okay? Don’t overdo, respect your teachers, and text me every day!”, Inko cried hugging her son one last time before they parted ways for the semester. 

Meanwhile, Mitsuki was saying goodbye to her son. “Listen brat, if I get a call from someone saying you caused trouble again…”

“Yeah, I know! Get out of here already, old hag!”, he took the last bag from the truck.

“Aren’t you even going to say ‘thank you’?”, she barked at him. 

“Bye, Aunt Inko! It was nice seeing you again!”, Katsuki yelled, ignoring his mother, already away from the car without facing them anymore.

“Bye, Mom, I love you! Bye Mitsuki-san, thank you for the ride!”, Izuku said before he followed Bakugou inside.

“You really should take it easy on him, Mitsuki”, Inko said softly, putting a hand on her friend’s shoulder. 

“Argh, I know. I love him more than life itself and I would die for him!”, she put her hands on her face, then dragged them down slowly, “But he pisses me off. so. much”, she confessed. 

“I wonder why”. 

----------

The formation of the dorms was basically the same as last year.

By Saturday night, almost everyone had settled in already. The atmosphere was rather unnerving. Most of them have not seen each other since the battle, but they acted as if they had only been apart because of summer break, avoiding talking about it. On Sunday, they used the day to clean stuff out and to finish the retouches in their rooms. They installed a TV in the common room and a video game console and played until nightfall. It was very welcome to chase away the worry about the opening ceremony on the day to come. Still, a few of them couldn’t really sleep at night.  On Monday morning, a lot of coffee was made in the kitchen because they all needed it. They were actually between needing a passion fruit juice to calm down and coffee to stay up. 

This year, UA decided that they needed an opening ceremony, due to the circumstances. Little by little, all of the students headed to the theater where it was going to be held. The place was not as full as it used to be. Not that it was a surprise, after everything that had happened. 

2A's feet shook below their chairs, their nails were slowly disappearing, their bottom lips losing more skin than they could. The ceremony needed to start soon, or else they’d go crazy. 

Principle Nezu got in, people applauded. Not 2A though, not yet. 

He started a speech about he was happy to see all of them and thanked them all for entrusting UA once more, that the teachers were there for them and that the one thing they had in mind was their well-being and education.

More claps coming from the crowd. Even if people didn’t believe a hundred percent of what was being said. 

2A still hasn't clapped. They haven’t been breathing, for heaven’s sake. They needed one person to show up and put them at ease. Just one. 

“As many of you may already be aware of, the course structure of all high schools in Japan is going through a reform. Especially heroes programs. I will head over the word to one of our teachers who will be able to speak about it better than I am”, Nezu said at last. The students of the former 1A held their breath, the anticipation overwhelming them. “Mr. Aizawa Shota, please step forward”. 

The exhale that came out of the 5th role where the 2A students were sitting was audible to the whole auditory. 

Aizawa walked onto the stage with his head up. He was walking perfectly, but they weren't sure if he was really well adjusted to a prosthetic leg, or if it was his actual leg. He was wearing his hair back in a half bun, showing off a big scar crossing his face, and a black suit. The exact moment he stepped behind the microphone and turned to the crowd, he found his students in the audience. 

They were all shedding tears and sobbing, cheering and smiling. He couldn’t help the shy smile on his lips too. 

“Cut it off all of you”, he mouthed at them. “Well, let’s get over with this already”, he cleared his throat and started talking. 

“The past year has been beyond challenging to us. Not just as a school, but as a society. Japan has had an unprecedented amount of villain work and the damages are beyond repair. We heroes were able to stop the threat that rose upon us. And by we, I mean to include you, students, too. There was no way we would still be here if it wasn’t for you. That I would still be here. So in the name of all the heroes, I thank you all. But even though your work was remarkable, that was not the way things should have gone. We should not have let all of that weight fall on your shoulder, and for that, we are extremely and utterly sorry. 

“That being said, we cannot look at past events as just one more villain attack or evil work. It was more than that and the protests it ignited across the world are proof of it. We know it was a movement that started years ago, but it gained strength after Stain showed up. Those-” villains, he was about to say. But as much as he hated them, after months of hearing them talk in prison he just didn’t want to use that word. “Those people had a message to put forward. And they did. We can’t overlook it. It's our job to listen to it. The government, alongside some heroes and public servers, are trying their best to find a way to prevent that from ever happening again. 

“This is why the students from their second year are going to be the last to graduate in the system UA is today. For Heroes Programs are going to be abolished at high school level”, a chatter came from everyone, but he raised his hand to shush it. “The information I am about to give has not been on the media yet, so I ask you all to not spread it right away. I am only passing it over to all of you because I was allowed to since it affects us directly. 

“As of this year, Quirk Management classes are being implemented from 1st grade, and depending on the quirk, the child will have special counseling on how to deal with it and how it can be useful. That said, different licenses will be provided in the future so that not just heroes are allowed to use their quirks.

"Most high schools will fall back to what they used to be, with general education being the standard and if students have other interests like technology, quirk development, martial arts, etc., they will be more than welcome to join clubs after classes. 

“From two years from now, it is expected to have Hero Courses only at Undergraduate level. The plan is to, in the future, abolish hero courses as a whole, since, in the words of many citizens that came forward to us, ‘hero’ shouldn’t be a job.” More chatter. “The intention”, he raised his voice, “is to, little by little, defund the heroes' agencies to focus more on other departments, like first childhood education, mental health programs, rehabilitation, and social services. 

“Sure, none of this will prevent bad people from appearing once in a while, so the “heroes” won’t fade completely. Society will always need heroes, in whatever form. This is why we are still here. But it is out of the question to let what happened with the Liberation Front and the League of Villains happen again. So you are the next generation to guide us to a better world.

“I know this is a lot to take in right now, but I believe all of you will understand why such actions are being taken. Again, reinforcing Principle Nezu’s words, we are grateful that you chose to entrust us once again. We hope for the best this year. Thank you”, he finished with a bow and walked off the stage. 

People were clapping, but the mismatch of the sound made it clear they were also confused. They believed in Eraserhead's words, they knew what he said made sense, but still... Guess it really was a lot to take in right now. 

Principle Nezu went back on the stage and dismissed everyone. They were all getting up when Iida raised his voice over the chatter around them. 

“Class! Aizawa-sensei text and asked us to meet him at our dorm before classes start. So go straight to the dorms!”, and so they did. 

When they passed through the entrance, a black figure was waiting for them shortly after the door. 

“Sensei!”, they screamed, running towards him. 

It has been long enough for them to know Aizawa wasn’t into that much affection demonstration, but it couldn’t be helped. They were crying, group-hugging around their favorite teacher. And Shota knew too that it was better to just go with it. 

“Would you stop with the drama!”, he scolded, but with no real authority in his tone. He was also happy to see all of his students well.

“I’m sorry, sensei! We just got so worried!”, Tsuyu-chan cried. 

“I know, I know!”, he comforted her with a pet in the head. “But I’m fine, as you can see”. 

“Sensei, sorry for asking”, Kaminari, stepped in, “But do you still have your quirk?”, he asked. Momo looked at him with an angry look, but he just shrugged. To his credit, everyone was worried about this. 

"It's okay, Momo", he raised his hand. "I’m afraid not, Kaminari”, he said. 

“But I’ll fix it!”, a small voice came from the living room. When they all turned to look at it, they saw Eri’s small head popping off from the couch. 

“Eri-chan!”, Kirishima beamed. 

The girl ran towards the students to greet them, hugging everyone. Then she went to Aizawa, who took her in his arms, and she stood there, messing with his hair while he talked.

"Wait!", Uraraka exclaimed. "Couldn't Monoma copy Eri's quirk and use it on you like he did with Mirio?"

"Turns out that when Monoma rewinds, the effects are temporary. It has to be Eri", Aizawa explained. "But now that he has learned how to do it and control it, it will be easier to teach her how to control her quirk".

"Does that mean Mirio-senpai is quirkless again?" Sato asked.

"Yes, he is. But our little girl here will fix that too in no time, right?", Shota smiled at Eri, who nodded excitedly. “And I might not have my quirk, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be able to defeat all of you in the split of a second, so you better not test me!”, he promised.

“So that means you are staying with us this year too, sensei?”, Midoriya asked. 

“Hey, problem child, what did I say? I will watch all of you graduate! And I will be damned if I let any other professor get this class from me!”, Shota smirked. 

“Own, that means you do love us!”, Mina whined, wiping a tear away. 

There was a short silence before the answer.

“Just don’t tell anyone. I’m not supposed to play favorites!”, he said. Eri let out a giggle. “What are you laughing at?”, he asked her. 

“Nothing!”, she lied. She might be small, but she knew things, and her dad wouldn’t stop talking about his students. He very much played favorites.

“Okay, so I’ll leave you all to it. We’ll see each other in class tomorrow since we don’t have class today ”, Aizawa said, passing through his 20 troublemakers. Before he left, he turned at them and said “I’m really grateful to have you as my students”. 

Needless to say, there was a new round of tears being shed. The posture of every student was different already, not carrying the weight of the worry about their teacher on their backs anymore.

The class had about an hour to get ready for their first class of the school year, Ethics, with a new teacher. Not a pro-hero, but a sociologist. A good way to start, if you may ask.

Midoriya looked around at all his friends chattering, talking, smiling on their way to class and a warmth grew in his chest. Maybe he did well, after all, for they all got to be there right now. 

He had not been sure when he said to his mom that this was going to be a good year, he had said that only to comfort her. But now… He sensed that he didn’t lie. Maybe this was going to be a good year, of nice things, a year they could grow, and heal. As normal students.

And they needed a good year.

Chapter Text

“Deku-Kun! Good morning!” a sweet voice called as soon as Izuku stepped downstairs.

“Uraraka-chan, good morning!”, she was sitting on the couch, with notes and pencils and erasers in front of her, holding a mug of coffee. She looked tired. 

“Why are you studying so early?”, he asked on his way towards the kitchen.

“Oh”, she said a bit louder so he could hear her from a distance, “I asked Bakugou to help me with physics. This new curriculum is really messing me up! Not that I’m complaining, I kind of came to terms with it. But I am having a little difficulty in conciliating all these new subjects with hero training”, she whined. 

“Yeah, I get you”, he came out to sit next to her, holding a bowl of cereal with milk and honey. “I spent all night yesterday trying to understand how ‘mol’ works”, he confessed.

“Any luck?”, she smiled. 

“Not really! Now I’m just tired, and it wasn’t even worth it”, he shrugged and started eating. After taking in a few spoonfuls, he asked. "Why Kacchan? Why didn't you ask Momo?"

"Oh, she has so many people to help already, I didn't want to be a burden. And Bakugou is a surprisingly a really good tutor if you ignore his anger pits when you can't understand something after he already explained to you for the third time", she laughed.

"And... at what time is Kacchan coming to help you?”, he looked at his phone, it was 7:45, and they had to meet All Might at 8:30. 

“Oh, he already left. He said he would only teach me on Saturday mornings before his ‘practice’. I don’t really enjoy having to study physics at six-thirty on ‘Saturday mornings’, but..." she shrugged. "I’m still here because I’m too tired to get back to my room”, she took a sip of her coffee, slipping into the couch. “And you? You usually sleep at least until 9 when you have the day off”. 

“Right, yeah”, he brought a hand to his neck, “I kind of practice with Kacchan on Saturdays…”.

“Oh, I had no idea you two kept training! So you’re the reason I have to do this at six-thirty?”, she joked. 

Midoriya let out an airy giggle. “Sorry!”

“You two have gotten close, haven’t you?”

“I mean, I guess? There’s still a lot of tension between us, so I wouldn’t say we are close, but we’ve definitely gotten closer. Even though I think that deep down he is still going with this training because he sees it as an excuse to punch me with permission”. 

Ochaco let out a chuckle, “Well, I’m happy for the two of you, anyway”, she put a hand on his shoulder, smiling, and Deku retributed the smile.

“Thanks”. He jolted up, “I need to go now, but see you later, right? You’re gonna join us today, aren’t you?”

“Yes! Of course!”, she smiled. “Couldn’t miss it if I wanted to! If I did, Tsu-chan would be so mad”.

“Yeah, so would I!”, he said before going to the kitchen again to wash the bowl. 

When he came back, he saw Uraraka sleeping on the couch. He let out a shy smile and went to her. He picked her up and took her to her room. When he was leaving, before he closed the door, he heard a soft “Thank you” coming from her. 

“Anytime”, he said and closed the door. 

----------

“You two did very well today”, All Might praised them at the end of the practice. “I’m afraid this will be our last session together, correct?”

“Yes, we have midterms next week already, and then our intern at Best Jeanist agency will start”, Midoriya answered. Since Endeavor also retired after the war, he, Todoriki, and Bakugou would intern with the new N.1 hero Best Jeanist this semester, and honestly, Bakugou couldn't be happier about it.

“Good, good. You two have come very far. I am happy about all the improvements we were able to achieve”, he said. 

They talked for a little while more. All Might gave them a little bit more advice regarding their fighting form and other things, then dismissed them. The two boys started to walk back to the dorms together when Deku noticed something weird about the way Kacchan was walking. 

“Did something happen to your leg?”, he asked. 

“It’s none of your business, Deku”

“Of course it is! If you got hurt then we should take you to Recovery Girl!”, Izuku said, getting in front of Katsuki, obliging him to a halt. 

“Get the fuck out of my way!”, he roared. He tried to go around the boy but got stopped again.

“No! Did you get hurt?”, he insisted.

“Deku, I swear to god, I will blow your face off if you don’t-”

“When are you gonna stop acting like this?”, he interrupted.

“The hell do you mean?”

“You still don’t accept help! And it’s infuriating! Can’t you just let me help you?”, he cried. 

“No! Because I don’t need it!”

“Argh, you’re impossible!”, he lifted his hands to his face in frustration. “Okay, since you hate the word ‘help’ so much, want me to be your cane again? Is this somehow better?”

Bakugou snorted. “What the fuck are you even talking about?”, he asked, as if he didn’t know exactly what Izuku was talking about. 

“C’mon, Kacchan. I’ll hold you with Blackwhip. I won’t even touch you!”, he promised.

He pondered for a few minutes. The pain was getting stronger as his body was cooling down. He tried feeling the weight on his left leg, but when it almost gave way over the effort, he quickly transferred his weight back to the right one. 

Katsuki buffed, “Okay, fine”, and as soon as he said it, black lines came out of Deku’s hands and grabbed him by the waist, and he felt himself lose weight, staying only a few centimeters of the ground. As they started moving forward, he asked, “Do you know how to control it properly?”

“Blackwhip?”, he asked, incredulous. “Where have you been through the past few months? Is your head okay too?”

“No, you dickhead!”, he scolded. “Float! You almost don’t use it”.

“Yes, I do? Seriously, is your head okay?”, he asked, sincerely concerned.

“Not on others! Goddamnit, how fucking dumb can you be?”, he barked. 

“It’s not my fault you can’t articulate and talk like a human being!”

“What the fucking hell did you just say?”, his hands started producing a booming sound. 

“You heard me! Or did all those explosions and yelling make you deaf? And I’m not using Float on you. I’m just suspending you with the whip. How dumb can you be?”, Izuku deadpanned. 

Bakugou was not expecting to be talked back like that, not by him. And the whole situation they were in only made it even more embarrassing for him. He tried to impulse himself to be able to at least punch him in the head, but that strong black grip around him didn’t let him. 

“Kacchan, I am begging you”, Izuku started, “would you please, please, stop acting like an angry pinscher?”, he asked, a few more dark lines going over to Bakugou to hold his arms down until he calmed down and stopped yelling gibberish at him.

He had seen Midoriya use the whip numerous times before, but not as casual as right now, and he was holding him in the air with such ease that he could swear Deku used Float. Guess not. The whip was just that strong and he really was using it as if it was his own power since he was little. 

“Shit, Deku, what the hell is up with you?”, he asked completely exasperated.

“Didn’t have much sleep this week, so I’m too tired to put up with your tantrums”, he breathed.

That for some reason shut Katsuki up. He had a very strange way of respecting other people’s boundaries. After a few appreciated quiet seconds, Kacchan talked again. “You’re having problems sleeping or some shit?”

Midoriya raised an eyebrow, confused at the sudden concern in his friend’s voice. “Not really? It’s just chemistry. We have the tests next week and I am still trying to crack it”, he admitted.

A scuff came from his throat. “Pff, you’re bad at chemistry?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry Mr. Perfect for not being the best at it!”

“Not in a million fucking years I expected you to be the best at something, Deku”, he buffed. “Guess I just didn’t expect you to actually have trouble with school stuff? Like, what the fuck?”

“Things don’t come as easy to me as they come to you, Kacchan. I might have had good grades throughout our school lives, but I always had to work hard for them”.

They were already close to the infirmary by now. There were not many people around, which took a sigh of relief out of Bakugou.  When they got in, Midoriya placed the boy in a wheelchair and was ready to push him to Recovery Girl’s office when a hand slapped his. 

“No fucking way. I can do this myself, get lost”, Katsuki said. 

“Kacchan!”

“I said get lost! You’ve done enough already, crapface”. Izuku rolled his eyes. That was as close to a ‘thank you’ as he could possibly say. As he was about to leave, Katsuki called him again, “Oh, and nerd? Talk to Mina if you need help. She’s actually pretty good at chemistry”. 

Midoriya left with his lips twisted on a half-smile. 

“Bakugou Katsuki!”, a squeaky voice called from behind the door of Recovery Girl’s office. 

He rolled the chair there and entered the room. 

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. What brings you here?”, Recovery Girl asked with her eyes down on a chart.

“It’s my hip. Left side”.

“Were you fighting again?”, she said, getting close to him, prompt to examine him.

“Not without supervision”, he answered. 

Recovery Girl tried moving Katsuki’s left leg a little to try to see the extension of the problem, and as she twisted it to the side, he involuntarily exploded the arm of the chair, his face contorted in pain. She lowered his pants a little bit and saw a very red and purple skin. “Well, this doesn’t look too good”, she said. 

She could have healed him right away if it was an emergency, but when it was cases like this she preferred to take a better look to not make precipitated moves. 

She pulled him to the X-ray room next to her office and helped him get on the table. Then she helped him down and made him stand to get a lateral view. After they were finished, they went back to the previous room and she analyzed the pictures on her computer. 

“Bakugou, when did you hurt yourself?”, the old lady asked as harshly as she could.

He hesitated before responding. “Tuesday. I fell on it during training”. 

“It’s Saturday”.

“Yeah, so?”. 

“You’ve been walking around with a cracked hip for 4 days?”

“Well, I didn’t know it was 'cracked'!”, he roared. 

“You’re lucky it hasn’t healed wrong like last time, or else we would have to break it again. Still, it is extremely inflamed”, she scolded. “You know you can’t keep pushing yourself like this!”

“I wasn’t in that much pain. I could handle it”, Bakugou pouted. Okay, he was in a tremendous amount of pain for the last few days, but he thought it was going to get better eventually, until it didn’t. He was living on pain killers and it was doing the job. He truly didn’t find it necessary to go to the infirmary over a bruise (since that’s all he thought it was). Other people had functioned through worse than that.

“I’m sure you can handle many things, young man. That doesn’t mean you have to”, she said approaching him and giving a smooch. 

After a few seconds, Katsuki felt the pain dissipate and he was able to stand. He took a few jumps, rotated his leg, and stretched. It all looked fine. He was about to leave when he remembered there was something else he needed. “I need more medicine, mine is at the end”.

“Which one?”, Recovery Girl asked.

“The sleeping pills”. Bakugou said, putting his hand in his pockets, looking up. 

She went to a cabinet on their left and started searching for a specific medicine. After a while, she found what she was looking for and turned at him holding a small white bottle. 

“Here you go”, Recovery Girl said, handing it to Bakugou. “Just remember to take half of it, okay? Not more than that. And remember that you still need to talk to someone, just the pills won’t fix the problem”. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know”, he shoved the medicine into his pocket. 

When he got back to the dorms, almost everyone was already up. But there were a few strange faces there. Purple hair, plant girl, and fake Kirishima. 

“What the hell are these stupid extras doing here?”, he yelled to no one in particular.

“Oi, Kacchan, don’t need to act like that! Tokoyami is going to master a D&D session for us!”, Kaminari stepped in. “Do you wanna join?”

By that point, Bakugou had given up on making Kaminari not call him ‘Kacchan’. Still, he wanted to murder Deku and then kill himself every time he heard that name coming out of Pikachu’s mouth. “Shouldn’t you be fucking studying?”, he barked. 

“I’ll do it tomorrow!”, he dismissed with a shake of a hand. “Besides, our first tests on Monday are History and Modern Literature, so I’m good”. Denki went to the kitchen counter, rejoining the conversation he was having with Asui, Jirou, Sero, Deku, and Shinsou. 

“So, are you going to join us, Bakugou?”, a feminine voice came from his left. “If you are, you better start making your character sheet!”, Momo advised. 

“What? No, no way. This would be such a waste of time. I’ll just start preparing things for lunch before you all start complaining that you’re hungry”. It was a common-sense by now that even though Iida and Yaoyorozu were class representatives, when it comes to the dorms Bakugou was their angry mom friend that cooked for them and made sure they all did all their tasks well. And Sato was the nice grandma who made them sweets to warm their hearts. 

“There’s no need for that, Bakugou”, Todoroki said from the couch without even turning his head to look at him. “We’re gonna order food today”, he raised his left hand holding something between his index and middle finger. His father’s credit card. 

“If you join we can pair up our background stories!”, Kirishima said, enthusiastic next to Todoroki. “I’ll be a shapeshifting dragon!”

Bakugou let out a breath. That was going to be one fucked up session. There were too many people, and he was sure Tokoyami would lose his shit at some point. Still, he did like D&D and it’s been a really long time since he last played. 

“Okay! Fine. But you better pass all your fucking tests or else I’ll never help you again!”, he said, going towards them and sitting on the floor by the center table. He grabbed a pencil and a sheet and started writing down his stats and story. He already had a pretty good idea for a character.

Chapter Text

Bakugou woke up to a thunderous sound. He wasn’t sure if it was of his own making or from the storm roaring outside his window. He was heaving, sweating despite the cool weather of mid-October. He didn’t remember what he was dreaming about, and he didn’t want to.  He sat on the bed and tried to control his breathing to an acceptable rhythm. He was almost succeeding when another sound startled him. It was a knock on his door, confirming that what had woken him up was one of his explosions. 

“It’s fine, Kirishima, I’m fine”, he raised his voice to be heard from outside. 

“Are you sure? You want me to get in?”

“No!”

“No, you’re not sure, or no, you don’t want me to get in?”

“No, I don’t want you to get in! Now go back to bed”.

But Kirishima didn’t move. He understood what explosions at night meant. He’d spent half of last year calming his friend down after them. And sure, he had seen it happen again when he slept at his place during the summer, but this was the first time that had happened since they were back to school. “Bakugou, please”, he insisted. Suddenly, the door stormed open and his friend appeared in front of him.

“I said I’m-”, Bakugou stopped, taken aback by the arms on his shoulder. He sighed but retributed the hug. “I swear I’m okay, shitty hair,”, then he pushed him away, “so just go back to sleep. We have our last test tomorrow and you better be rested to pass”.

“Okay, I will!”, Eijiro said. “Knock on the wall if you need anything!”

“Yeah, yeah!”, then Katsuki closed the door and went back to sleep. 

The following days did not go much better than that, Katsuki was glad that the test week was over so he wouldn’t have to worry about studying, tutoring, and handling these poor nights. The sleeping pills helped him to stop activating his quirk in his sleep, but he still tossed and turned all night. 

He was getting tired, and to make it all worse, his internship with Best Jeanist had begun. It was a lot of paperwork and mild patrol routines. Once in a while something remotely exciting happened, like looking out for a lost kid, going after a pickpocket, or stopping a street fight. Nothing much, though. All the big works were handed to the pro-heroes, as it should be, but that didn’t make his job less boring, which only allowed him to think about why he was tired in the first place.  

In summary, things were spiraling down and he couldn’t stop it. 

It was a Tuesday. His day off from the internship. That meant he had to go to Aizawa’s class, hero training, at Gym Gamma. 

“Okay, class, today is going to be ‘Quirkless Day’”, Eraserhead announced. 

They all smiled. They had grown fond of the quirkless days . They were all obliged to exercise or fight without using their quirks. Of course, it was harder for people who had mutant type quirks, like Hakagure, Ojiro, and Shoji, but they handled that. When Aizawa first proposed that, they all got confused until he explained that he wanted to make sure that, if one day something happened, they would be able to defend themselves without needing a quirk. 

No one else asked any further questions.

They were divided into seven random pairs since the class only had 14 people because some of them were interning. Bakugou got paired up with Sero, Kirishima with Sato, Mineta with Mina, Hagakure with Kaminari, Momo with Tsuyu, Ojiro with Uraraka, and Aoyama with Koda. Each pair took their place on a delimited court while Aizawa explained how the exercise would go. 

There were going to be 3 rounds of fights, one with no one using their quirks, then in the following two only one of them could use it. Each fight lasted for 20 minutes or until one of them was defeated. Eraserhead let them all warm-up for a few minutes and then gave them permission to start fighting. 

Katsuki made the first move. 

Sero was not the best in close combat, so Bakugou should have ended the fight as soon as it started because he was one of the best there. But he didn’t. Sero was being able to dodge from almost every move, and the longer Bakugou couldn’t hit him, the more frustrated he got. 

His mind started to become more and more obsessed with hitting Sero, until he lost view of the greater picture, and let out an opening.

His obsession led to distraction and he was punched in the stomach, falling to the ground. He got back on his feet really quickly, but his mind was falling behind him. Before he could think on his next move, Sero was already moving forward and now was his time to start dodging. Dodging. Being defensive with Sero? Duct tape? Fuck! 

Sero’s leg appeared out of nowhere in a sweep kick, making him lose his balance and dropping him to the ground again. As soon as Bakugou hit the floor, he felt himself being flipped over, his arm being held back, Sero’s leg immobilizing his own.

He tried to move.

He couldn’t.

The fight lasted for 7 minutes.

Sero won, and he lost. 

Bakugou’s mind was loud. He could hear everything that was going on around him in detail but at the same time couldn’t understand what came out of the black-haired boy when Sero got up and walked away from him. 

Some fights were still going on, and he usually would use the time left to watch the others and analyze them, but not now. He needed to focus. Katsuki went to the bench where they left their stuff, sat down, and grabbed a water bottle. His mouth was dry, but he tried not to drink too much. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Four seconds in, four seconds out. Four in, four out. Fo-

“You okay, bro?”, Kirishima’s hand on his shoulder startled him, but he tried not to show it. 

“Yeah, just focusing on the next fight”, he said, without looking at the boy. 

It wasn’t a lie, but Eijiro knew there was a lot more behind. The redhead said nothing, understanding it was useless to try to get anything more from Katsuki. Instead, he tightened his grip and squeezed the boy’s shoulder, stroking his thumb three times before letting go. The contact helped Bakugou ground himself more and some tension slipped away from his muscles. 

Aizawa gave the alarm saying that 20 minutes had passed and they should get ready for the next round. The only ones still fighting were Uraraka and Oijiro. Katsuki let out a smirk. That girl had really come far if she could stand up to Ojiro for 20 fucking minutes. The teacher gave them a 5-minute break before they could come back. 

Now it was time for quirk vs quirkless. Katsuki would be the first to use his quirk, and then Sero. The fight started and Bakugou made the first move again. The fight ended in a second. All he needed was three blasts. One to push him up, the other to push him over Sero, and the last one to push him down. He landed on the black-haired boy, holding him down for three seconds.

He won. 

“Can we go again?”, Hanta asked. 

“What?”, Bakugou didn't understand what he said.

“Again! I want to try two last at least a minute!”, he laughed. 

It was really hard to fight Bakugou without using a quirk, especially for him who was a long-distance fighter. But he had seen Kirishima, Uraraka and Midoriya endure it just fine before, so he wanted to do the same. The blond boy growled, annoyed, but he agreed. They kept fighting until the 20-minute alarm went off. Not once did Sero last more than a minute, but he would get there eventually. 

After the 5-minute break, it was time Sero used his quirk. 

They stood 6 meters apart, and when the Aizawa allowed them to start, Sero shot his tape at Bakugou. He was able to dodge easily and tried to close the ground between them. Fighting Sero was going to be sort of easy after fighting Deku’s Blackwhip for so long now. With him, he only had to worry about two stripes, with Deku it was 5, 10, 15. So all he needed to do was keep dodging, close the distance, and- What? Something grabbed his feet and he fell. When did that happen?

He was quick to tear the tape apart and get back on his feet, but almost not enough to keep his arm from being packaged. Sero was extremely fast, faster than Katsuki expected. Was he always like this? Bakugou kept running in a zigzag to avoid being caught, but no matter how much he tried, he didn’t seem to get closer to the boy. He tried a different approach. 

When Sero shot at him again, instead of standing out of the way, he held the tape and pulled it, hoping to bring Cellophane closer to him. It didn’t work. Sero cut the tape right when he noticed the trick, and, taking advantage of Bakugou’s loss of balance when the boy pulled nothing, shot right after and was able to grab his arm. 

Bakugou felt the tape pull as soon as it grabbed his forearm. His feet got off the ground and he saw Sero getting closer, raising his fist ready to punch him. He didn’t have time to react. He felt the hit on his stomach, again. He clenched his jaw, unwilling to give in to the impact. It wasn’t on his terms but now he was close to Sero. He grabbed him by the collar and as Katsuki fell, the other boy did too. 

On the floor, he moved his legs in order to get on top of his opponent. Bakugou closed his hand in a fist, ready to punch the boy in the face and get this over with, but Hanta shot to the side, stuck the tape on the floor, and pulled, getting away from him. Katsuki felt his teeth tight against each other, his clenched jaw starting to ache already.

He needed to win this. 

He ran towards Sero again, and the boy did the same evasive he did before. Taped the ground and went away. And he kept doing that around Bakugou at a crazy speed, making the blond boy dizzy. He didn’t remember Sero being this fast. Is he really that fast or am I being too slow? 

Sero was moving around him, enclosing him, and he felt trapped. It was like he was being played with. He tried to move forward, to get closer, but the tapes kept coming at him and all he could do was dodge, deflect. He had no time to think. The space he had to move was suddenly getting smaller, and he started to feel claustrophobic. 

Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the headache coming from his jaw, or even because he hadn't eaten well that day. He doesn’t know exactly why, but when two stripes came at him at the same time, that's not what he saw. They were black, they were red, they were hands. They were three things at once. And he froze. And they got him. 

They surrounded him from his arms to his mouth, restraining his movements, and they pulled him. He fell. He didn’t hit his head, but the world around stopped making sense. It was all blurry and the sounds were muffled, and his mind started to compensate for the lack of information his eyes and ears were processing. Things started to regain form but they were still senseless. Because the sounds were louder, and he heard buildings crashing, and around him, there was fire, and dust, and faceless bodies. 

This wasn’t UA anymore. 

Where was he? How did he get there? Was it Kurogiri again? Wasn’t he still in custody? Did he escape? Was it someone else’s quirk? He needed to get out but he couldn’t move anymore. Why? He couldn’t breathe properly, but he wasn’t bleeding or anything, was he? Did he get hurt again? He needed to move. He needed to get out. He couldn’t stay there and wait for someone else to save him, he needed to do it by himself. There was no one else to save him, he was alone. Him and faceless bodies. No, they had faces, he just couldn’t look at them. Either way, he needed to-

“ Bakugou!”, a voice finally got to his ear, being louder than the noise his mind was making and snapped him back little by little. “Bakugou, you’re okay! You’re at UA, you’re safe!”. First, he felt the arms holding him back, “You’re safe!”. Then the noise started to quiet down, “You’re safe!”. His surroundings changed. “Everyone’s safe!”, he finally recognized Kirishima’s voice. “Everything’s fine!” The boy was holding him back with his quirk activated. Why was his quirk on? “You’re okay!”, then he finally realized his own quirk was on. He was fighting back. Aizawa couldn’t erase his quirk so Kirishima had to pull him back. 

He was now fully aware of where he was and believing the words Eijiro said to him, that he was safe, he turned off his quirk. “You’re okay!”, the voice said softer than before. Now that Bakugou wasn’t fighting anymore, Kirishima also turned off his quirk but didn’t loosen up. “You’re okay.” 

Katsuki felt his face getting warm. Shit. He finally understood what happened, and what was about to happen. Not in front of everyone. He broke himself free from Kirishima’s embrace and stormed out of the gym.  He ran through all the campus, impulsing himself with his quirk, straight to the dorms. His face getting cold with the tears in his face. Damn it. He passed through a few students but did not recognize anyone, and he hoped that no one had recognized him.

He finally got to the 2A dorms and ran upstairs, locking himself in his room. He was shaking, his head was aching, his tongue felt big in his dried mouth. He couldn’t believe things have gotten this far. It was nothing more than bad dreams, and now they had the audacity of showing up during training? He was worse than he thought. 

He noticed he was still out of air. His breathing was too short and too fast, and he needed to calm it down before he fainted for lack of oxygen. Two in, two out. Nose, then mouth. Three in, two out. Four in, three out. Four in, four out. Four in, four out. Four in, four out. 

After a few minutes, he heard a knock on his door. “Bakugou? It’s me!”. Kirishima. Again. The bastard had run after him. “Can you please let me in?”. 

Katsuki didn’t answer. He had no strength in him to do so. He needed to keep focusing on his breathing or else he would lose it again. He was still too fragile to let the boy in. He was holding himself together with all he got. 

Eijiro kept knocking at the door for a while, talking, but the words didn’t reach Katsuki’s ears. He wanted to send him away, he wanted to be on his own, alone. He could deal with this. He opened his mouth to scream at him, however not a single word came out, only an unnatural sound left his throat. So he left Kirishima there, at his door, talking to him even though he couldn’t pay attention. 

Four in, four out. That was all he had to think of. All he could focus on. His breathing. Do not leave space for other things to reach your mind. Stop crying. Four in, four out. 

----------

Todoroki and Midoriya were coming back together from the internship with Best Jeanist, mindless talking about how their day went, of how boring it was for Shoto to deal with all the paperwork their latest mission, and how Izuku weirdly didn’t mind that at all. They were so involved in their conversation they failed to notice the dense air when they entered the dorms. 

It was only after a few minutes that they saw how everyone was quieter than usual. No one was playing, there was nothing on tv, and Mina, Kaminari, and Momo were the ones cooking dinner. 

Izuku looked around and he didn’t see Uraraka, nor Kirishima or Sero. Or Katsuki. He saw Tsuyu on the couch reading and went to her. 

“Hey, Tsuyu-chan!”, he sat down next to her, and she looked at him, “Did something happen today while we were out?”

She gave him a sad smile before speaking. “Bakugou had a panic attack today during training, kero”. Izuku’s heart tightened up. “He’s been in his room ever since. Ochako-chan, Kirishima-Kun, and Sero-Kun are there trying to talk to him, but no luck. Mr. Aizawa was trying to get him down until an hour ago, to at least make him come down to eat, kero”. 

“He won’t come down”, Izuku stated, getting up. “I’ll try to talk to him”, he said going towards the stairs. 

“Want to try to bring him some food?”, Mina asked from the kitchen. Everyone else was probably listening to them talking too. 

“No, he won’t eat if he’s stressed”, Midoriya responded before disappearing up the stairs. 

When he got to the 4th floor, he saw, at the end of the corridor, Uraraka, Sero, and Kirishima eating chips on the floor. They were not in front of Bakugou’s door, but he knew the boy could hear them talking. 

“Hey, why don’t you guys go eat downstairs?”, Midoriya asked, grabbing their attention for the first time. 

“Deku-Kun!”, Uraraka greeted him. “We are making Kirishima-Kun some company because he doesn’t want to go down”.

“I’m worried, okay?”, the redhead excused. 

"Yeah, so am I. I am the reason this happened, anyway", Sero said.

“It's not your fault, Sero!", Kirishima reassured him.

"Go eat something, all of you", Midoriya's tone was oddly authoritative. "I can take it from here”, he stated, stopping in front of Katsuki's door. 

The three teenagers frowned at him. They got that Bakugou and Deku knew each other since they were little. They got that they always got their backs when fighting. They got that they have gotten closer over the past months. But still, he was Deku. And Kirishima, the best friend, hasn’t been able to do anything so far. It was probable that Izuku would only annoy Katsuki more. Eijiro was ready to tell him that, but the green-haired boy knocked on the door before he could say anything. 

"Kacchan, it's me. Open the door", no response. 

"Dude, I've been trying for hours now, nothing worked! Not even a 'fuck off, Shitty Hair' which is really disturbing".

He knocked on the door again. "Kacchan, please", still nothing. Izuku was already pretty worried about him, but now? As Kirishima said, when it comes to Bakugou, no response is so much worse than being yelled at. And not yelling at Eijiro was one thing, but at him? 

"Bakugou Katsuki, let me in right now or I'll tear this door down. I'm not kidding."

A few seconds went by until a noise came from inside. Someone was moving.  The lock clicked, the doorknob moved, and the door opened. Everyone was shocked that Midoriya was the one who got him to open it, and that was just more proof that whatever it was the relationship the two of them had, it was too messy, and complex, and deep for anyone else to understand. 

Chapter Text

The door was finally open. Katsuki, however, was nowhere to be seen and all the lights in the room were off, but he had left just enough space for Izuku to get in. Kirishima mouthed "Good luck" to him before he stepped inside the room. 

The door closed after him instantly, for Bakugou was hiding behind it. Midoriya was about to turn to face the boy, but a hand on his arm stopped him. Then, he felt a head fall on his shoulders, and he knew he could not make any sudden moves. It was like dealing with a wounded wild animal.

Deku paid attention to Kacchan's breathing. It wasn't short, so he wasn't hyperventilating. A good thing. But it was shaky and heavy like he was trying really hard to keep control of it. 

Without moving too much, he tried to lift his hand to meet the one Bakugou still had on his arm. He was expecting him to shove it away, or to decide that it was a bad idea letting Deku in and expelling him from his room, or just the normal "what are you doing, stupid nerd, don't touch me" stuff. But he got none of that. Actually, Bakugou even squeezed his arm a little bit, searching for a little more comfort.

Each move Midoriya made from there was slow, and careful, and calculated. He did something and waited for Kacchan's reaction, to see if he was allowed to do the next thing. He soon realized that the boy was really beaten, for he did not fight Deku once. Izuku took his hand and slowly moved him to the center of the room, kneeled, and lay down with his head towards the door. Katsuki understood what he was doing, and did the same, except his head was towards the balcony door. The only contact they had was the middle finger of their left hand slightly touching.

It's been ages since they haven't done that. They used to do it every time one of them was having problems at home when they were kids, or when just wanted to talk about whatever it is that kids talk. That position made sure that they couldn't see each other's faces, so they wouldn't have to feel afraid or embarrassed about their feelings. Well, so Kacchan woudn't. Deku didn't care. 

They did this until they were about 4 years old, which was when something really changed inside Bakugou's head. When everyone started to admire him for his quirk and suddenly that was all he was. When he started to act tough so people wouldn't see that things got to him. When he thought that he couldn't complain anymore about things that made him sad, or that scared him because that would make him weak. When he started thinking that if he was stronger than everyone else, no one could ever hurt him. When he was fucking. Four. Years. Old.

"I'm broken, aren't I?"

"No, I'd say you're quite whole".

"Then why do I feel like I'm about to shatter into pieces?"

Deku didn't answer. He wished he knew how to answer it properly, but he didn't have a good answer for himself, much less to give to someone else. All he did was to touch the tip of Bakugou's finger to indicate that he heard him, and acknowledged what he felt, encouraging him to move on.

"Do you feel like this sometimes?"

"Are you kidding? Why do you think I cry so much?"

"Because you're a pussy".

"That was a rhetorical question, you jerk".

"Wow, talking back today, are you?"

They fell into another silence. A very comfortable one. Guess those silent practices during summer taught them really well how to just be around one another. Midoriya wasn't cautious about Bakugou, and Bakugou wasn't irritated about Midoriya's presence. It's been forever, if ever, that they were this calm around each other.

"You know," Deku started, "after All Might gave me his quirk, I had this martyr complex, that I alone was responsible for saving the world, smiling, just like he did. And if something went wrong, it was my fault, because I failed as the bearer of One for All."

"Why are you talking in the past sentence like you still don't feel that way? I know you, nerd. Don’t be such a hypocrite".

"I mean, I won't lie and say that I don't feel like that anymore. It's hard to change these kinds of feelings. But at least rationally I know that I was wrong". Now it was time Kacchan gave him a little touch on his finger, encouraging him to go on. "I do still feel that way sometimes, more than I'd like to, but I know that is not the case! It took me a while but… being there when Mirio lost his quirk, seeing Sir. Nighteye die, and yeah, all of that shit with Redestro and the League of Villains made me realize something”. 

“What?”

“We may be heroes, but we are just humans."

A long break. One touch.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you too, Kacchan, are just human".

"So?"

"So you are allowed to feel", Bakugou's body tensioned when he heard those words, and Deku noticed. Still, he continued. "And cry. And be scared. You are not broken for having human emotions."

When Deku stopped talking, it was like a switch flipped inside Katsuki's mind. He felt like he was about to explode. Izuku gave him permission to feel whatever it was he was feeling, and it felt good. Part of his brain was thinking "How dare you to tell me what to do, you shitty-stupid-asshole nerd? How dare you to talk to me like this, so condescending? Fuck off, fuck you, and get out of my sight". But that part of his brain was losing terribly. A bigger part of him, a part he didn't realize it was there, the part of him he shoved down and buried in the dark of his mind when he was a child, that part of him was screaming " Thank you" . And the words just fell out.

"It's just that I- I can't fucking sleep because I think that stupid hand-boy is still out there, and that he will be back. Or that soon enough some shit-head that is even stronger than him will look at what he's done and think 'maybe he was right'  because maybe he was? Damn it! And what if people think that we are not making enough changes? What if they decide to speed it up?" His voice was getting louder and louder. "There're so many bad scenarios, one worse than the other, and I-  I'm so scared all the time and I don’t know how to stop this. And h-", his voice failed. "What kind of hero I am to become if I’m still this weak? How can I be a hero if I get scared like this? How can I save anyone if I can't even save myself? Tell me, Izuku, what kind of hero will I be?" 

The cracks in Katsuki's voice hurt Midoriya's heart more than he thought possible. It was almost enough for him not to notice that he called him by his name. Almost.

"A real one", he answered, without hesitation. "You will be a real hero, Kacchan. One people can relate to. Admire. You might feel weak sometimes, but you’re one of the strongest people I know. And I would, as I have many times before, lay my life on your hands without a second thought". 

There was a small pause before Katsuki spoke. "Well, you fucking trust people way too easily, so that doesn't count, you stupid broccoli". His tone did not match his words, for the gratitude in his voice was louder than his teasing. 

Katsuki didn't realize when he started crying again. It felt like the words were in the way of those tears, and now that the words were said, the tears needed to be cried. He also didn't notice when he stretched down to actually hold Izuku's hand. Or when the boy pulled him up to his own bed, and held him, trying to keep Bakugou's almost convulsing body steady and safe. In the bigger picture, he also hadn't noticed when he started feeling so safe around Deku.

He knew he would probably want to die for allowing this to happen. For being in Deku's arms, crying his ass off, vulnerable. Having the nerd consoling him was fucking ridiculous. Still, he needed this, and he couldn’t get out of his embrace even if he wanted to. His body was not answering him. 

He cried for about 30 minutes. It was different from when he cried earlier. This one was relaxing him, allowing the feelings to flow within. 

All his senses and functions came back to normal after an hour. He had soaked Izuku's shirt, but the green-haired boy didn't seem to care. He was taller than Izuku, but somehow he fit in his arms just right, with his face buried in his chest. There was a hand on his back, strolling up and down, calming him, and another one in his hair. 

The feeling of embarrassment was already settling in, more and more as his head cleared up, but he gathered enough courage to look up, and wasn't really surprised at what he saw.

"Why the fuck are you crying too, nerd??" He wanted to sound angry, to scream at him. Maybe that would make the shame go away, but his voice betrayed him. It came out low and way softer than he intended.

"Because I hate seeing you like this, okay?", Izuku’s embrace around Katsuki loosened up, and he started to get up. Bakugou was grateful that the nerd moved first because he was too ashamed to do so. Actually, he kind of knew that this wasn't good timing, but a premeditated action. Deku just knew him that well.

They sat side by side. Izuku rested his weight on his elbows on the edge of the bed, and Bakugou rested his back against the wall. They were silent for a few minutes until Katsuki spoke.

"Why are you so nice to me?"

Izuku was not ready for that question. "What?"

"Why are you so nice to me? I don't deserve it".

"I mean… You didn’t. Now is debatable", Deku took a deep breath and leaned back against the wall too, still, he kept facing forward. "But I'm not nice to you. I am nice. I choose to be  kind to people. You being a jerk should have nothing to do with how I act".

"But I hurt you". His voice was barely a whisper.

"Yes. You did. A lot. But I also know you. I have seen you when you think no one is watching...”.

“Stalker!”, Bakugou joked. Izuku did not seem to mind as he continued talking.

“...I knew you were hurting, and unloading it on me was easier than acknowledging it. And... I fucking let it".

"Wow there, you are not allowed to curse, idiot", there was a pitch of humor in his voice, which made Izuku chuckle softly. "But why then? Why did you let it? Why didn’t you get away from me? Why didn't you stand up to me?"

Izuku’s shoulders went up for a second, then relaxed again. "I just… didn't".

"Weak-ass", he teased.

"Oh-ho-ho Kacchan, no. It's not that I couldn't stand up to you, I just wouldn't. I had several plans to bring you down, but I knew it would do no good. If I did something, you would just hate me more, and I didn’t want that. I know you never listen to anyone you don't admire. You talked back to Endeavor, for fuck's sake."

Bakugou giggled. A weird sound coming from him, but Midoriya liked it. "I said no cursing, Deku".

 "If you don't like me cursing you should never read any of my notebooks".

"Wha- Who are you?", Bakugou turned his head to face him. Izuku felt his movement and did the same. 

"Maybe I'm not as innocent as you think I am, Katsuki".

"Argh, don't do that", his body shivered.

"Do what?", Midoriya raised an eyebrow. Bakugou has never seen that face on him, it was rather malicious. He wasn't sure he hated it, though.

"You calling me by my name is unnerving. Don't do it. Oh, and never, ever, use my full name again, that shit’s scary coming from you".

Izuku started laughing. It wasn't the usual laugh he had, that high pitched one that looked like a girl from a shoujo anime. It was lower, a little broken, and 100 percent more real. "I know", he stated. 

"What?"

"I know! It’s my power move. I save your name for special occasions", he laughed a little more at the contorted expression on Kacchan’s face. "Just because I didn't stand up to you doesn't mean I was going to accept everything you did to me without getting a teeny-tiny revenge".

"Wait… Are you saying what I think you're saying?”, Bakugou was getting mad, but at the same time, he couldn't help but find this quite amusing. 

"And I also know you hate when I act all sunshines and flowers".

"No, no way. Fuck no. You were always like this, even when we were little! It can't be just a pretend..." He thought for a second, "Can it? Was it?", he looked genuinely confused.

"I mean, yeah, I am naturally way more optimistic and easy-going than you and all that, but I did overdo it around you sometimes, Kacchan".  When he said his nickname, his voice was high pitched again, and he smiled so hard that Bakugou guts revolved inside him, and he felt a really strong urge to punch him in the face. 

"You- little piece of- I can't-", he strongly shoved Midoriya to the side, almost pushing him off the bed. "You little shit!", he screamed. But Deku wasn't intimidated. Instead, he was laughing louder, which upset Bakugou even more. Small explosions were now forming in his hand, and he jumped over Izuku. "Stop laughing or I'm going to fucking kill you!!"

After struggling a little, Midoriya set free from Bakugou and got off the bed, arching on his stomach, trying to regain control over his breath and stop laughing. He lifted his arms in front of him, surrendering.

"Ok, okay!! See, I'm not laughing", he lifted his eyes and locked them on Kacchan's, and when he saw the confusion, the excitement, and also the betrayal in his eyes, a small giggle escaped. 

" Deku !", Bakugou warned. 

"Sorry! That was the last one, I promise!", Izuku took a few steps backward until he reached the chair of the study desk. He turned it and sat down. "But yeah, the fact that it pissed you off was a great part of the appeal".

A crooked smile formed on Bakugou’s lips. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. No , actually, he could. He knew the nerd was smart as hell, and the fact that he paid back at him without him even noticing was not surprising at all. “You little devil!”. 

“Coming from you, I’ll take that as a compliment. So, thank you!”, Izuku smiled. 

“So now that I know this…  Does it mean you are going to stop calling me ‘Kacchan’?”, the question was out of his mouth before he could hold it back. 

“Do you want me to?”, the question was plain and honest. He wasn’t teasing anymore. 

Bakugou pondered for a second, and could not believe what he was about to say. “No. I don’t”, he breathed. 

“So I won’t”. They locked eyes again, and Midoriya leaned his head a little to the right. “Are you going to start calling me by my name now?”

“What? No, why the fuck would I do that?”, Katsuki hissed. 

“Well, you did call me ‘Izuku’ today”. 

“The hell I did!”

“Did!”

“Did not!”

“Okay, whatever makes you sleep at night”, Izuku grinned lightly, but the half-smile disappeared way too fast. Bakugou noticed it, and he didn't appreciate it for a reason. 

“Does it still bother you when I call you ‘Deku’?”, his voice was soft again, just like when he asked Izuku why he was crying before. 

“It doesn’t hurt me anymore, no. I thought that after I started owning it and using it as my hero name, you would stop calling me that. But you didn’t”.

“You wished I had?”

“No. If you had, it would have been awful”.

“Hm”. Bakugou started creating tiny sparkles with his hand, making them dance around his fingers. It’s been a while since Midoriya saw him do that, but he knew that was his form of stimming when he was anxious about something. Izuku muttered, and Katsuki did that. “I refuse to do it in public”.

“Do what?”, Deku frowned. 

“You said it didn’t hurt you anymore, not that it doesn't bother you, much less that you like it. At least coming from me. So… I can try to call you by your name if you want. Just not in public”. 

“Wha- why?”, his voice almost didn't leave his throat. He was about to cry, and he was not trying to hold it back. “Why would you do that now ?”, he asked as the first tears started to roll down his face.

“Oh my god, nerd, stop crying already”, he got up, took a tissue box from his nightstand, and tossed it to Deku. “I just thought it is time I -”, the rest of the sentence was inaudible, lost in a mumble.

“What did you say?”

Katsuki breathed. “I said I just thought it is time I stop being a jerk to you!” he was clearly embarrassed. Izuku couldn’t believe the words he was hearing. “And you can see this as a form of apology”.

Deku smiled while drying his tears with the tissues Kacchan gave him. “A form of- What the fuck?” 

“Stop cursing, damn it!", Katsuki scolded.

“How about an actual apology?”, Midoriya suggested. 

Bakugou raised his eyebrows. “What? I- I helped you train, I almost died for you, and I am proposing to stop with the ‘Deku’ shit. Isn’t it enough?”

“No!”, he giggled. 

“Do you really need the actual words, you greedy asshole?”

“Yes!”, he smiled. Bakugou scoffed. “C’mon, it’s not that hard! You just acknowledged that you are, in fact, a jerk! That was the worst part! You can do this, Kacchan”.

Katsuki paced around the room 5 to 7 seven times before agreeing to it. He knew this day would come. And it shouldn’t be too hard, after all, he was secretly practicing his apology in front of the mirror for a while now, but boy, was he nervous. Izuku didn’t remember seeing him like that before, and he understood him. Midoriya’s heart was racing too, and his hands were shaking. 

This was going to be a huge step for them. This whole conversation was already a big step, but this… after this, things would change, and they knew it. 

Bakugou stopped in front of Deku, who was still on the chair, and tried to crouch so their eyes would be leveled, but he still wasn’t comfortable with that position. “No, this is ridiculous. Come here”, he took Midoriya’s wrist and led him to the bed, so both of them could be on the same level. He took a deep breath, opened his mouth, and… nothing. He couldn’t say it. 

Izuku buffed, “Fine, I’ll help”.

“What?”

“Repeat after me, okay?”, Bakugou nodded hesitantly, looking down. “Izuku”, the sweet voice said.

“Iz- Argh!! It feels weird to say it. C’mon Katsuki, just do it!”, Bakugou started stimming again, and Midoriya touched the tip of the middle finger of the hand that was close to him on the bed, simulating what they did when they were lying down. Bakugou closed his eyes after the touch and took a deep breath again. When he opened them, he locked them into Deku’s. Two big emeralds staring into his soul. Okay, you got this. “Izuku”.

Deku smiled. He hoped his name tasted as good on Kacchan’s tongue as it sounded to his ears. He knew it probably wasn’t true, but he still hoped. 

“I am sorry”.

“I- I am sorry”, there. He said it. The hardest part, he did it. And just like everything else that day, once the first thing was out, it freed the way. There was a lot he needed to say and he could already feel the words trying to get out. 

“For -”.

“I think I got it from here”, Bakugou interrupted, which made Izuku’s eyes shine a little bit more. The blond boy let out a shaky breath and continued, “Izuku, I’m sorry for all the shit I said to you, and for the things I did. For years I acted like I didn’t need you, and treated you like trash. But I failed to realize that you were the only one that actually cared about me. Not now, ‘cause my friends are fucking awesome, but then. And I’m sorry I unloaded on you all the shitty feelings I had about myself.”

Midoriya was a crying mess, yet he still had his eyes locked on Bakugou’s.

“I’m sorry I scarred you so much,” Kacchan continued, “and I’m sorry for making you cry so many times. I know this does not erase what I did in the past, but I promise I will try to make a different future. Anyways. I don’t know what I would have done or who I would have become if you had given up on me, so… Thank you”.

There was a moment of silence between them, where the words still lingered. Both of them needed time to assimilate what just happened. 

Until Izuku finally spoke. “Wow, this was so out of character”, he laughed between the tears. 

“Shut up, idiot. Don’t make me regret it”, Bakugou grinned. 

Suddenly, both of them were guffawing. They laughed until they couldn’t breathe anymore. It was light and good. They have been carrying this huge heavy baggage around for so long that they forgot how it was to even breathe without it on their back. The content was still there, of course, still, they were finally able to unpack it, and store everything in their rightful place. It still existed, they just didn't have to take it everywhere with them. 

After a minute, Midoryia put his arms around Bakugou, who stiffened at the touch. When it became clear Izuku wasn’t letting go so soon, he hugged him back, tight. Why not? Just one more thing to add to the list of embarrassing shit I did today. 

---------- 

“Midoriya-Kun, what are you doing in my room at six in the morning?”, Iida asked. 

“Sorry about the time, Iida-Kun, I just needed to speak to you. I need you to talk to everyone before Kacchan gets to the class today”, his voice was urgent. 

“Midoriya, he is always one of the first people there, I don’t know how-”

“I’m pretty sure he will be a little late today, considering what happened yesterday and the time he went to bed”. 

Iida raised an eyebrow. He knew Midoriya got into Bakugou’s room last night to help him, and he wondered at what time he went out. Actually, now that he thought of it, Midoriya was still in the same clothes from yesterday. “Oh my goodness, Midoriya-Kun, did you stay the night with Bakugou-Kun?” 

Izuku was about to answer because, yes, he was there all night, but that was before he realized what Iida was insinuating. “Oh my, no, Iida-Kun that is not what you are thinking! I did stay there all night, I just got out, but nothing happened, we talked a lot, because we had a lot of things to say and….” 

“-Kun! Mi-do-ri-ya-Kun!!”, he heard Iida shout-whisper at him. “I got it, I got it!”

“Oh, sorry!”

“It’s fine. What do you need me to tell the class?”, he asked.

“Oh, right!”, he cleared his throat. “That if someone dares to speak about what happened yesterday, I will personally break all my bones on them”. Iida’s jaw fell. He never thought such words could ever come out of Midoriya’s mouth. And what made it worse is that his tone was soft, creating a not so nice contrast. “In your words, of course. Except to Mineta, he deserves the threat”.

“Leave it to me Midoriya-Kun. And, hm- Are you okay?”

“Oh yeah, I’m fine, I just need a shower and some caffeine. I get grumpy when I’m tired. Sorry for the inconvenience, Iida-Kun. See you later!”, Izuku turned away towards the stairs and got down to his own room. He thought about knocking on Mineta’s door and threatening him personally before dismissing the idea with a shake of his head. Shower and caffeine. 

He and Bakugou talked until they passed out at around 3 am. The air between them was clear and they spoke of everything and nothing. The detailed version of how All Might passed on his powers and the training he went through. Bakugou's favorite action figure collection. A prank Deku played on Katsuki when they were 10, that he never knew who was responsible for. The hero fanbase discord Deku wasn’t in yet?? How could he not know about that? 

They also teased each other, and Kacchan got mad at small things, and Deku was a little too bright. Of course, none of this would change overnight, and they didn’t want it to change that much if they were being honest. That was their dynamic and Deku liked it. However, the hesitation between them was gone, and Katsuki didn’t care too much about looking vulnerable in front of him, and Izuku didn’t need to keep his guards up all the time. He wondered if that was going to be the new them , or if that was only for a night. 

He got his things in his room and went to the boys’ bathroom. I really miss having my own bathroom. He was taking a shower when Tokoyami got in. 

“Oh Midoriya, I don’t think I ever saw you here so early”. 

“Yeah, I change really fast, so I sleep for as long as I can. But I got up a little earlier today. Are you always here at this time? I thought you wouldn’t be exactly a morning person”.

“Oh, yeah, I’m not. But I never sleep too much anyway. Dark Shadow always wakes me up at around three”.

“Oh, I see”. 

“You look tired, are you okay, Midoriya?”.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just need coffee”. 

“Oh, I can help you with that. I make the best coffee”. 

After they finished getting ready for the day, Izuku followed him to the kitchen, and he wasn’t lying. It was a pretty damn good coffee. 

“I have to be good at making it since Dark Shadow never lets me sleep at night. It is basically what keeps me standing. She actually learned how to do it, because she felt bad for me and wanted to apologize, and then she taught me”.

“Whoa! That is so cool, Tokoyami-Kun! I didn’t know she could do stuff like that!”, before the boy could answer, someone else got in. 

“Is Midoriya awake already?”

“Todoroki-Kun, good morning!”

“What a surprise, Midoriya”, Todoroki sat by his side and Tokoyami served him a cup of coffee. Apparently, this was natural for them, so he figured this was their routine every morning. “Are you… Are you drinking coffee? Are you even allowed to do that?”, he asked, seriously. 

“Not in normal situations, no. I get too agitated. But today it is vital or else I’ll sleep in class, I’m pretty sure”.

They talked for a while until they headed to school. He didn’t see Bakugou anywhere, so he understood his guess was right. He was going to sleep in a little bit today, and that gave Iida enough time to talk to everyone. Bakugou got to class shortly before Present Mic, and no one said a thing. Not even Mineta, who was quieter than usual. I think maybe Iida’s words were scarier than my own.

The day went by smoothly, nothing out of the ordinary. At night, Sato and Bakugou took care of dinner. They all ate together in the common room, then they watched Kaminari and Jirou play Guitar Hero. After a while, people started dispersing to their room. Izuku usually stays up until a little later, but he was exhausted. By eight-thirty he was already in bed. 

Before he could fall asleep, his phone buzzed under his pillow. He took it and saw Kirishima had sent him a message. 

“ Hey Midoriya, how’s it going? 

I tried talking to Bakubro today, and even tho he didn’t tell me what happened, he was much better. 

So whatever it is you did man, thank you” . 

“I did nothing much, Kirishima-Kun! I appreciate your words nonetheless. Good night >.<”

He was suspiciously happy to know that Bakugou didn’t share what happened, not even with Kirishima, and kept that night sacred between them. Sure, he accidentally muttered about it to Iida, but it wasn’t in details, and Iida never pays too much attention to his muttering anyway. 

He put the phone down and slept with a smile on his face.

Chapter Text

It had been almost two months since that night. 

They were in December already. 

And to Midoriya’s delight, he and Bakugou did have a new “them” now. But they didn’t share it with the world just yet. They wanted to understand how to act around each other before. So almost no one knew about the conversation they had that day and all the occasional jog and training they still did together, much less about the matches on Mario Kart in which Deku was annoyingly good at, and the quiet study sessions they had on Saturdays that replaced their practice with All Might. 

Sure, it was not the perfect scenario yet. Katsuki still stuttered a few times when he tried to keep his promise of calling Deku “Izuku” when they were alone, but he was getting better at it. Still, to be safe, he tried to call him any names but Deku or Izuku. He stuck with 'nerd', 'dickhead', 'shitface', 'idiot', and whatever else came to his mind at the time. 

And the boys still argued a lot about meaningless things, about different ideas they had about something in class, about who was playing All Might in the Hero SF, about what answer to put on question 4 of their English assignment. Nothing important. They bickered, but it was harmless. 

However, all the disagreements they had disappeared when they were fighting. At practical classes, the syntony between both of them had visibly increased. 

“How long have you worked with them outside school, All Might?”, Aizawa once asked during a class, as he watched Midoriya and Bakugou go against Sato and Shoji. 

“What?”, Toshinori asked.

“Don’t play dumb like I didn’t know that you’ve been training them. You know you shouldn’t play favorites, right?”, he raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, just like you didn’t play favorites with Shinsou”, he talked back. “And it’s been what… six months, maybe. But we’ve been working together for around a year now. Not currently, though. We stopped so they would have resting time”.

“Well, it did them good. They are working perfectly together. And not once did I have to break a fight between them this semester. A few heated discussions here and there, but not a fight. Thank goodness!”, he commented, feeling as the corner of his own lip twisted in a half-smile.

And like that, they were mending their relationship little by little, step by step. 

It was Saturday, and they were working on their literature assignment at the local library. They preferred to study there than at UA’s, because it was quieter, emptier, and the chances of being interrupted by someone they knew were way lower. 

This was different from the other study sessions they had with their friends during the week. Because those ones were full of chatting and conversation, of questions on how did you do this and that. But the ones they had on Saturdays were basically to finish assignments, and to encourage the other while at it. They almost didn’t talk. It was mostly supportive quietness. 

But Midoriya was uneasy that day.

Izuku was staring at the blank pages of his notebook. His mind had been awfully noisy that week, and he couldn’t focus. His eyes wandered through the bookshelves, through the lights in the ceiling, to the people around them, and then they finally rested on Katsuki. He was writing nonstop on the paper, his eyebrows were almost touching in a frown, and he was mindless chewing his bottom lip.

"Kacchan?", he started without even noticing.

"Yeah?", he answered without lifting his eyes from his notebook.

"Do you think…", he hesitated. How to even start this? Isn't it too suddenly?  Will he even answer me?  How could he make this question without Kacchan thinking he was weird or-

"Don’t even start with the muttering, broccoli, just spit it out. I won't think you're weird. You can't be weirder than you already are".

Oh my, why do I keep doing this?

"OI!", as soon as Katsuki raised his voice, other people in the library immediately told them to shush. "Spit. It. Out!", he said between his teeth, trying not to raise his voice again.

"Okay, okay!", he lifted his hands in defeat. How do I phrase it?  "Do you… think it's weird if … guys like other guys and girls like other girls?"

"No, why would I?", his head was tilted to the side, obviously trying to put together a puzzle with pieces Izuku hasn't even shown him yet.

"Well… Is it normal?"

"Look at our society, nerd. I don't think normal is a word still applicable to describe anything these days, is it?", Izuku's face was frowned. Whatever it was going inside that green head was still confusing him. "Okay, so let’s see, Mr. Aizawa and Mic are practically married, Ponytail is obviously not straight, since she had a thing with Earphones up until the end of last semester and now I think she might have a crush on that plant girl from 2B. Talking about Phones, I thought she was a lesbian, but then there's this shit goin on between her and Pikachu, so she is at least bi. And even I hooked up with a guy before so yeah, crapface, it is pretty fucking normal to me".

Deku was silent, incredulous. "H-h-how do you know all this?" Bakugou stopped paying attention to him and went back to his writing.

"Well, how do you not know all of this, mr. Stalker? It's pretty obvious. Maybe you’re just too oblivious to this kind of thing". 

Midoriya pondered for a while. Now that Kacchan said it, he could see it. All the mornings Present Mic and Aizawa-sensei arrived at the same time, the cute captions on Jirou and Momo's instagram pictures, and- wait. What did he say? Even he has hooked up with a boy before? Is that true? Who-

"Kirishima, obviously, who else?", Bakugou said from across the table, cutting him from his trail of thought. "My god, someday you will get yourself into real trouble because of this muttering of yours". 

"What? When? Oh my god, I shouldn't be asking this. Are you two a thing? No, shit, shut up", the way Izuku was agitated was getting on Bakugou's nerves.

"First, don't curse. Second,”, he closed his notebook,  “pack your stuff, we're going out to grab something to eat. If I stay one more minute here with you like this I will get banned from this library because I will blow this table into your face".

Izuku didn’t try to fight back, he knew Katsuki wasn’t really bluffing. And he could use something to drink. 

They went to a cozy café on the way back to UA and picked a table at the back. The waiter came and took their order and came back a few minutes later with a big cup of hot chocolate, a double espresso, and an egg sandwich. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to eat anything?”, Bakugou checked with Izuku.

“Nah, I’m fine!”, he answered while putting sugar on his drink, which drew a chiver down Kacchan’s spine, because sugar on hot chocolate?  “Okay, so how did it happen?”, Midoriya asked before taking a sip of the drink.

“What?”, Katsuki was trying to open his egg sandwich. 

“You and Kirishima”

“Are we really gonna talk about this?”, he asked in a frown.

“We’re not?”

“No”

“But I thought this was the reason we got out of the library!”, Izuku said in a pleading manner, with his eyes dropped in a puppy look.

“No, we got out of the library because I didn’t want to be kicked out for yelling at you”, but Deku didn’t give up, and his look only intensified. “Okay, fine, damn it. Geez, stop looking at me like that”. He pondered, drinking his coffee. He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with that fucking idiot. “So…”, he took a deep breath. “I think I didn’t realize I had a thing for him until he asked me a damn stupid question while we were studying and that, for some fucking reason I don't know to this day, made me want to kiss that stupid bastard. Which I did”, he smirked. “It was just so fucking easy for me to be around him, you know?”

“Yeah, we been knew”, Midoriya smiled. 

“What?”

“What? It’s not like you’re a totally different person around him or something!”, he rolled his eyes.

“Oh, fuck off!”

“Sorry, keep going, please!”

“Anyway”, Bakugou looked at him with his eyes narrowed. A clear message: interrupt me again and I’ll kill you. “I kind of enjoyed the way he talked back at me, if that even makes sense”, Izuku nodded, It made sense. “And I really appreciated the way he made me feel, like I was more than a flashy quirk. And he really helped me out after Kamino. I guess it was inevitable for it to happen”, he confessed. He had never said those words out loud, and they tasted oddly good on his tongue.

“Before you ask, we never really dated and no, we’re not ‘a thing’ anymore. After… You know, the whole League battle shit, I kind of drifted away from him. Still don’t know why. He stayed the night at my place a few times over the summer, and we kind of tried to hook up again. But for some reason, it became very weird, and we couldn’t do it anymore. Then we understood that whatever the fuck we had, we had grown out of it”, he finished, taking a bite of his sandwich, not making eye contact with the boy in front of him.

Midoriya opened his mouth, about to say “I’m sorry” , but he closed it again. He could almost hear Kacchan barking at him with the “I don’t need your sorry” thing. He chose other words, trying to portray the feeling he wanted to. “But he is still your best friend, right?”

“Fuck yeah, he is. I think what we had was more of a platonic thing, anyway. And if it wasn’t when it started, it became like that. And in no means do I regret the damn thing”, he took another sip of his coffee and raised his gaze to the freckled face. “Are you happy now?”, he asked in a harsh tone, to make it look like he was annoyed by having to share this story. But if he was honest with himself, he really wasn’t. He enjoyed it, even, because he had never talked about this with anyone. Who was he going to talk to? Kirishima? 

“Yeah, I am. Thanks for sharing it with me!”, Izuku smiled. No teeth showing, just a small curve on his lips, but his cheeks went up, and the smile reached his eyes. It was sweet, and genuine.

Katsuki felt the urge to look away from his face again. “So, why the fuck did you ask that earlier?”, he asked, turning the attention away from him. “Finally realized you have a crush on Half’n’Half?”, he gibed.

“What? No, no, no! God, no! Why would you think that? Oh my, no!”, Deku stammered. The blond boy raised an eyebrow. “No! That’s not it! Todoroki-kun and I… no, we could never”.

“Are you sure? There was a lot of ‘no’s there”, Kacchan deadpanned. 

“Yes, I am sure!”, he huffed, praying for his face not to be as red as it felt. He saw in front of him Bakugou’s shoulders going up and down lightly, as he let out a mischievous chuckle. He prayed a little harder. 

“Okay, nerd, okay! Why was it then? For you to ask like that, something might have triggered it, right?”

“Yeah, I guess it had a trigger”, Izuku confessed.

“Yeah, no shit. What was it?”, he poked. 

“Hm, remember last week when I took those two women into the mental healthcare centre?” 

Katsuki nodded. He was talking about a slightly disturbing incident that happened in their internship. “The one that her roommate tried to jump off their balcony because of her quirk?”

“Yeah. Apparently she called her quirk Banana Fish and-”

“Like that Salinger book?”

“What? Oh, yeah, like the book. I’m surprised that you know of it. I had to do a quick research”, Deku confessed.

“You’re surprised? You little shit, I am a literate man, okay?”, Katsuki kicked him under the table. 

“And you call me a nerd”. He took a sip of the hot chocolate and kept going, “So, yeah, her quirk allows her to manipulate other people’s minds, but not like Shinsou's quirk. Hers is... weird. It gives people horrible destructive thoughts, which led her roommate to try killing herself a few times before because of it. She activates it without noticing, especially in her sleep, because no one ever taught her how to be in control of it. And she couldn’t stand that anymore”

“And what the fuck does that have to do with what you asked me?”, Bakugou frowned.

“Because when we were in the ambulance taking them in, the way they were talking to each other, apologizing, and being all touchy... It became clear after a while that they weren’t just roommates”, he concluded.

“Oh, I see”, the blond boy put both his legs on the chair, crossing them below him, and finished his sandwich. “So out of that horrible story, that ’s what stuck to your mind?”

“Don’t judge, okay? I’ve dealt with a lot of horrible things so pardon me for trying to focus on the good ones!”, he sneered. Kacchan raised his hand apologetically, then signed for Izuku to keep going. “Yeah, that did stick to my mind! Only because I don’t think I have never considered that it was a thing that could happen, you know? Like, I hadn’t really thought about relationships or love much before until... anyway. So it was nice to know, I guess, I don’t know. So… Yeah, this was kinda all over my head this week”. 

“I see. Well, now you know that it is a thing that can happen”. 

Deku half smiled in responde, and they fell into a sudden comfortable silence. Izuku finishing his hot chocolate and Katsuki finishing his coffee. Bakugou took off his notebook from his bag and re-started his homework. 

Midoriya did the same. He was finally able to at least formulate a few sentences of his essay. A few thoughts fought their way to his mind, but he made them background noise. 

After a while, Kacchan asked, “Are you done?”

“Hm? With what?”, Izuku asked with his eyes on the page, writing eagerly now that he found his train of thought.

“The chocolate”, he said. 

“Oh, yes. Do you wanna go?”

“No, it’s fine. I still have a few more things I want to write”. He stood up and grabbed the two cups and the plate. Deku looked up, a question in his eyes. “I’ll drop this on the counter on my way to the bathroom, to give us more space”, he explained before heading out.

After a few minutes, the blond came back and started writing again, just as eagerly as Izuku. They kept going for another thirty minutes, before they synchronically put their pencils aside, and recline on their chairs.

“What did you write about?”, Bakugou asked. 

“Kappa¹”, he answered.

“Oh, a little dark. That’s cool”. 

“And you?”

“Genji²”, he shrugged. 

"Didn’t you make a project about this in middle school already?”, Deku twisted his head to the side.

“So? I fucking like it! Now get off my ass”, he started putting his things away, and so did Izuku. 

“Gosh, I’m not in your ass!”, he giggled. “Does that mean you are still into romance?”, he asked with a shy smile on his face.

“Fuck off, Deku!” Ah, damn it. Well, sometimes ‘Deku’ ended up slipping from his tongue. He stood up and stormed off to the exit. 

“Kacchan!”, Midoriya called, “we still need to pay!”

“I already did. Now let’s go, idiot”. 

Midoriya followed him outside, “You paid?”, he wheezed.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s no big deal”, he roared. 

Deku dropped his eyes to the ground as he sensed a grin forming. “Thank you”, he said after his lips went back to a normal formation. They walked back in silence until they reached the gates of UA. They weren’t far from the school, so it was barely a 15-minute walk. 

It was still early, around 10am, so the place was rather quiet. They were close to their finals, so most students studied until late and slept in on the weekend, in contrast to what Katsuki was making them do. 

Throughout the way- no. Actually, since Bakugou told about Kirishima, something got his attention, and now Izuku had this little bug in his ear that he was trying to ignore. A concern that he tried to shove away but he was not having much success in doing so. As soon as they entered the campus, he came to a halt. He had to say it.

“Hey”, he called and Katsuki looked back.

“What now?”, he stopped walking too.

“Do you still feel like that?”, Izuku took a step forward and before the blond could ask ‘Like what?’ he spoke again. “Like you’re just a flashy quirk?”

Bakugou was taken aback by the question. “I’m not answering that!”, but he didn’t try to flee.

“Please do. Do you still feel like that?”. No answer. Those red eyes focused on Deku’s feet. “Katsuki!”, he insisted. 

Goddamnit! He hated when Izuku said his name to get him to do things, because it always fucking worked. “Sometimes”, he admitted. 

“Do I make you feel like you’re just a flashy-quirk?”, his voice was filled with concern.

Bakugou pondered, until he confessed, “Not anymore”, before turning away, ready to head off. He was about to take the first step when a sweet voice said it.

“I’m sorry”, Izuku apologized. “I know you hate when I apologize, but I really mean it”. Kacchan was silent, and he didn’t move. He didn’t turn back at the green-haired boy, nor did he walk away. “I never, ever, saw you like that, and I am so sorry I gave you that impression. I really hope you know now that when I say you’re an amazing person, I mean that I admire your courage, your honesty, how smart you are, the way you are dedicated to things, your loyalty, how you care about your friends even if you try not to show it, and the list could go on and on. I actually might have a list somewhere in one of those notebooks”, he chuckled softly. “Kacchan, it was never about your quirk”.

Those few reassurance sentences hit him harder than he expected. Katsuki wanted to turn to him and yell, tell him to fuck off and shove his face on the floor. Because he hated talking about how he felt, he hated when Izuku apologized because he did that way too much and it was really annoying, and he hated crying. And he experienced all of these things because that fucking stupid-rotten-brocolli shit got him off guard.

To be fair, he wasn’t really crying. Not yet. Not in the open. But he felt this lump on his throat that kept him from talking, and his vision got a little blurry. He needed to get out of there. He finally got his feet to move and stormed away back to the dorm, collapsing in bed as soon as he entered his room. 

Izuku didn’t try to follow him. He didn’t call his name. He knew it would do Bakugou no good. 

This sort of thing was not all rare to them, not now. Ever since ‘the talk’, once in a while, one of them touched on a sensitive subject that was a little bit too much to handle. But it had to be done. They had to talk about it. And each time they got different reactions. Laughter, swearing and crying were among the most popular. But they didn’t mind that. They hated it but didn’t mind it. Controversial, still it made sense to them. All that they cared about was that their words and feelings reached the other.

And they usually did.

-----------

The final exams week had everyone on their edge. They were balancing academic studies with hero work and training, and it was absolutely exhausting. But they were the top students in Japan, they could manage it. So even if it was a close call to some of them, everyone passed.

It was unbelievable that they had reached the end of the semester without anything to disturb them. Not a single invasion or villain attack. How it was supposed to be!! But it felt weird after the past year, to be normal kids, doing their school festivals, going on dates, playing games, stressing over grades… Weird, but so good. 

“Listen up, class!” Mr. Aizawa called to get the attention of the chattering students who were just discussing how nice the semester had been. “Last year you all stayed here during the holidays for obvious reasons, but this year the school is going to give a two-week winter break to you, so you can spend the holidays however you want. So next friday you are free to go home. Classes will restart on January 10th”. 

The 2A became even more chattery after the announcement. People started to plan small trips to nearby temples, they texted their families to let them know they should be included in whatever it was the plan, they planned dates and parties. It took a while before they could settle down again and pay attention to class after that.

By the weekend, everyone got their plans set already. Momo invited some people to go to her lake house, and she received very enthusiastic yes’s from her peers, especially from Ochaco after she saw pictures of the house. Kaminari had somehow found the guts to invite Jirou on an actual date, and of course she agreed. Izuku was going to spend the time with his mother, like they always have. Kirishima, however, was torn between accepting Yaoyorozu invite, joining his family in a small road trip, or following Denki’s example and asking Mina on a date. 

“What are you going to do bro?”, Eijiro asked Bakugou while they were in Kirishima’s room playing GTA.

“Just gonna go home”, he answered. 

“Is your family going to do anything?”

“Nope! They are probably traveling for New Year’s Eve, but we are staying home on Christmas”.

“Why don’t you join everyone at Yaomomo’s house?”

“Ha, very funny! Die, you asshole! ”, he yelled at an old lady in the game. “Winter break also means a break from all of you”. 

“Wow, that’s mean!”

“Ah, shut up. Don’t fucking tell me you’re not tired of these people”.

“I’m not!”, he said. Bakugou raised an eyebrow at him. “Okay, maybe sometimes. But I actually like living here with everyone”. 

He got caught in some difficult part of the game so they stopped talking. After everyone was dead and he had some peace again, Bakugou asked, “Are you really thinking about asking Mina out?”

“Yeah”. 

“I didn’t even know you liked her!”

“I mean, I do, but I’m not sure I do! ”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?

“I just don’t understand what I feel about her, you know? Hence the date. Maybe then I would know”.

“You’re not thinking about asking her out just because Pikachu asked Jirou, are you?”, Kirishima didn’t answer. “You fucking idiot! You don’t like Mina, you bastard, you are just jealous stupid Dunce Face has a date and you don’t!”, he laughed. 

“Oh, shut up, Bakugou!”

“Go to Momo’s thing, idiot. Pretty sure Raccoon Eyes is going, so if you really feel lonely, you can still shoot your shot in a lake house, perfect scenario”. 

“Well, guess you’re right”.

“Of course I am!”

“Oh, I almost forgot, Jirou is going to throw a little get together on the 31st, did she tell you about it?”

“Yeah, she did”.

“Are you going?”

Bakugou pondered for a while, then made his final decision. “Mhmm, probably. Her parents let us drink, so I guess it will be tolerable”.

“Cool!”

"Cool."

Chapter Text

Saturday, December 25. 

Mitsuki was in the kitchen cooking curry for them, the traditional Christmas dish at the Bakugou’s.  But she liked to do it alone, not just because she liked cooking but because it was her way of showing love to her family. It wasn’t a fancy thing or anything, but that was a tradition in her family growing up, and she hoped, one day, her own son would make the same thing to his family. 

She was chopping the carrots when the doorbell rang. "It's Christmas, who the fuck would visit us on goddamn Christmas?" Mitsuki complained. "Katsuki," she yelled, "get your ass out of your room and go answer the fucking door!!".

"Damn it woman, can't you do a thing yourself?", he replied, already getting down the stairs.

"I'm making us lunch, you ungrateful brat!" 

The doorbell rang again.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!!", Bakugou screamed at the door and hurried. He unlocked it and flew it open. "What the fuck do you-", he was taken aback by what he saw. "What the hell happened?" 

Midoriya's face was apathetic. His jaw was cut and swollen on the right side, a bruise forming around the cut. His left arm had 2nd, almost 3rd-degree burns, and the tips of his green curls were also burnt. He was holding a bag with his right hand. Katsuki didn't need him to answer anymore. He knew what happened.

"Who is it?", Mitsuki yelled, still in the kitchen. 

"Go to my room", Katsuki stepped out of the way to let him in, ignoring his mother's question.

Izuku entered his house like he used to do many years ago. He kicked his shoes out and went straight to the stairs. He still knew the way, up the stairs, turn right, third room to his left. The room was still as big as he remembered, but it had changed a lot since the last time he was there. At the back, there was a guitar, a bass, and a set of drums on the left corner, his work/study desk was on the right, and in between, under a big window, was a black velvet bean bag. The double sized bed was against the right wall, in the middle of dozens of posters of his favorite heroes, bands, and shows. Opposite it, on the left side, there was an 82' tv hanging on the wall, with three different video game consoles under it. His massive wardrobe occupied almost the entire front wall next to the door.

He aimed for the bean bag, and let himself sink on it, waiting for Kacchan to meet him there. He didn't close the door, not for a particular reason, he just forgot, so he could hear him and Mitsuki talking, which wasn't hard since they are always yelling at each other.

"Hisashi is back? What the fuck would he want with them now?"

"Maybe he saw Deku on tv or something, I don't fucking know! That man is a psycho!"

"Is Izuku-chan okay?"

"Oh, yeah, sure! He was pretty beaten up so he is probably doing great! Who doesn't like a surprise like that on Christmas?!"

"Katsuki!", she warned. "What about Inko? Is she safe?"

"Yes, I have her full medical report with me after the damn long conversation I had with Deku at the door, old hag, you want to see it?"

"Enough with that attitude! Go talk to him, make yourself useful. I'll try calling her".

Bakugou showed up seconds later. He walked in and closed the door. He looked at Izuku, laying on the beanbag. His arms must be burning like hell, and he must be in pain all over, but he doesn't show it, he doesn't say anything, he doesn't cry, he doesn't move.  He started searching for something in his wardrobe, opening one, then two, then three drawers. He found what he needed in the third one. He walked to Deku and kneeled by his side. Midoriya didn't look at him, his eyes were fixed on the ceiling.

"Let me see your arm", he asked. The reaction was delayed, but Izuku obeyed. "This is going to sting", he warned. He hydrated his arm and cleaned it up. With tweezers, he started to take out all the dead skin of the worst places. He was ready to hold his arm in place for this because that part is usually extremely painful to go through. However, Deku did not flinch once. To finish the process, he placed a plaster on his arm, then loosely bandaged it, just to keep it in place. 

"You will be brand new after a few hours", he said. He waited for an answer, a question, a cry, anything. Nothing. He used a little of the plaster on the boy’s face too. He sat on the floor next to him and kept talking. "Recovery Girl made it for me last year. I was accidentally burning myself a lot in my sleep and had to pay her a visit almost every damn morning. She was getting sick of seeing my face, so she made this". Silence. "I am pretty sure she uses her own spit to make it heal so fast because I don't know any other medicine that does the same thing." No reaction. "Guess we're not that different. You eat hair, and I use spit on my arm". Still, there was no answer, not even at that. He sighed, "Look, you don't need to say anything right now, just nod, alright? Is your mom safe?". He nodded. "Good, that's good".

Midoriya stayed in the same position, without talking, for almost three hours. Katsuki tried to make him eat or drink anything, but it was pointless.  

The wait for a reaction from Deku was making Bakugou crazy. He stood up, got a book, read a few pages, put it down. Took his phone, scrolled down Instagram for a while, then put it aside as well. He went downstairs and got a red bell pepper and ate it in his room. He tried to take a nap, but couldn't keep his eyes closed for more than 2 minutes. He lay down on the edge of his bed and started playing in his Switch, occasionally looking at Izuku. 

When the boy finally spoke, he almost didn't notice, so low was his voice.  "I hit him", he said.

"What?"

"My dad. I hit him", the lack of emotion in his voice startled Bakugou. He put the game aside, sat up and laid all his attention on Midoriya. "He showed up at our place last night, said he missed us and that he was sorry. You know my mom, she said 'It's Christmas, we should at least try to get along'. But this morning I woke up to them fighting". His voice was barely a harsh whisper. "He was furious. Screaming that she lied to him, and that I wasn't his son, because my quirk had nothing to do with his, and that’s why we kept it a secret from him all this time. He started to get violent towards her and I held him back. He set free and hit me", he caught his breath. "I didn't want to fight him, but he kept pushing. He kept screaming “don’t you want to be a hero? Stand up to me!’ . Then he burned me".

Kacchan stood up and walked to Izuku. He carefully sat on the free space of the bean bag, trying to not move Deku too much. Then he touched the tip of his fingers. Go on, I'm here.

"I still didn't want to fight him. I said he was out of his mind, that I was his son. Not that it actually mattered since he was never around anyway. But he kept pushing and pushing and... He noticed that my mom was calling the police. The way he looked at her… I couldn't stand it. He could have beaten me to death and I wouldn’t care. But her?". He let out a shaky breath, "The idea of him laying a finger on her again… It was instinct. I activated my quirk and sent him through three walls". 

"He fucking deserved it. He deserved that for a long time now".

"Yeah, maybe. But still, I should have known better", not a drop of emotion got out of his voice. Bakugou was going mad. He wanted him to cry, to scream, to make a fool of himself. Not that. He never saw him like that, and it was terrifying. "I handled the situation as badly as I used to. Worse. I hurt him. I put my own father in the hospital. I don't deserve... I'm no hero. And if UA wants to expel me then-"

"Oi, Izuku, sit up straight and look at me", he commended, cutting him. He helped Deku straighten his back. He raised one hand to hold the back of Deku's neck until his eyes were focused on him.  "You did not hurt an innocent person. Do you feel bad when you fight villains that are purposely hurting people?", Midoriya slightly shook his head. "Exactly, no. Your father is not a named villain, but he is a villain. Always have been. He hurt you and your mom countless times before, and he did it again. And he would have done in the future” Katsuki’s voice was firm and cadenced. “No one in their sane mind will ever look at this and think you did wrong, you hear me? Much less All Might or Mr. Aizawa. No one is going to expel you, because you did nothing wrong. You saved yourself, and your mom. If someone ever questions this, I will beat them up. You included!”

Midoriya didn't reply, he just nodded and gave him a weak smile. 

"I'm gonna get you some water", Bakugou said, getting up. "And you'll drink it this time, you hear me?". Another nod. "Okay", he said and got off the room. 

-----------

A PHONE CALL IS HERE! A PHONE CALL IS HERE! A PHO-

“Hello?”

“It wasn’t his fault, Toshinori. You have to understand this!” a woman cried through the phone. He hadn’t looked who was calling, but he immediately recognized the voice. 

“Midoriya-san, what is going on?, he asked. 

“Izuku, he didn’t mean to hurt him, I swear! It wasn’t his fault!”

“What wasn’t?", and then she started to word vomit through the phone in a way that it was impossible for him to comprehend what she was talking about, but he did get the desparation in her voice. "Hey, calm down. Breathe! I'm coming to you. Are you two home?”

“No, you don’t need to! It’s just… don’t punish him. Please!!”,  she pleaded. 

“Midoriya-san, are you two home?”, he reinforced. She didn’t answer at first.

“I am”, she sniffed. “I sent Izuku to Bakugou’s”.

“Okay, I’m coming. Wait for me”.

Yagi got the car keys and stormed out of his apartment. He drove as fast as he could, and even went through a red light when the street was empty. It was a 40-minute drive from his house to where the Midoriyas lived, but he managed to make it almost half of the time. Even before he turned on their street he saw the red and blue lights dancing on the buildings. 

There were two police cars and a fire truck parked in front of the apartment complex. The firefighters were taking big concrete pieces off the street, and the cops were interviewing a few people. He parked his car at the corner and walked the rest of the way. As he got a closer look, he saw that there was a hole in the wall of the second floor, right where Inko and young Midoriya lived. 

“Sir, I’m sorry, if you don’t live here you can’t surpass. I’m gonna ask you to take the next street”, a young police officer blocked his way.

“I need to talk to someone who lives there”, he stated. 

“Sir, you can’t-”

“That’s All Might, you genius!”, a second officer intervened, probably their superior. “I deeply apologize, sir. I think some people still don’t recognize you like this. You can look around if you want, but we got everything under control”. 

“I don’t doubt it. Still, that apartment right there”, he pointed at the hole in the wall, “belongs to someone I know. So if you allow me, I would like to speak with Mrs. Midoriya Inko”.

“Of course, sir. Follow me, please”. The officer took him to her building, took the stairs to the second floor, and knocked. "Kids these days. I swear, their quirks are getting stronger in every generation! God helps us in the future!", the officer said, trying, amiss, to make small talk. 

He heard Inko's voice as soon as another office opened the door from inside.

“I’m begging you, he is exhausted right now, and he is not even here. This is about Hisashi, not Izuku”. 

“I am here! What is going on?”, All Might inquired, entering the house without even taking his shoes off. 

“All Might!”, Inko jumped from the couch, relieved in finally seeing him. 

“All Might, sir, I didn’t know you were coming”, the detective stood up and bowed to him. “We are the detectives on the case. Her son…”, he checked his notes, “ Midoriya Izuku, used his quirk illegally against his father, pushing him through the walls and off the building and-”

“That’s not what happened”, she protested. 

“Ma’am, until we can talk to your son, that is all we know for sure. He escaped the location, which makes him a suspect.”, he said. 

“Why are you always protecting the wrong people?”, All Might chided. He already had an idea of what happened.

“I’m sorry, sir?”, he questioned. 

“Midoriya Izuku is my student and has a provisory hero license. He saved you more times than you could even begin to imagine. You might know him as hero Deku?", at that, the officer's eyes widened up. "If you look around, there is evidence of fire. If you had done the job correctly, you would see that Young Midoriya does not have a fire quirk. His father does. The case you are investigating is not about a kid turning against his father. Is about child abuse and domestic violence. I know my student and he would not recourse to violence unnecessarily. He did his job, protecting himself and his mother. Midoriya-san, would you please tell me why Izuku left the place?"

"He didn't run away. He was hurt and he went to the cares of the God of Bomb-"

"The God of Great Killing Bomb", All-Might corrected her. 

"Right, The God of Great Killing Bomb, Dynamight. They usually work together, that's why he chose to go to his partner. But he is exhausted and he needs to rest. So I beg you not to disturb him right now!". 

"See?", Toshinori looked at all of the three officers present. "I'll ask Deku for a report of his hero work later. So for now you will take her word for what happened, and will leave them alone. If anyone has any further questions, they can talk to me or Eraserhead. Was I clear?”

The detectives hesitantly bowed to him and left the house. 

The instant the door closed, Inko crumbled on the sofa. She rested her head on her hands, breathing deeply. She was shaking.

Yagi walked to the kitchen to get her a glass of water, and finally got a better look at the scenario.  There were burn marks all around the kitchen. The sink was broken. There were eggs crashed on the floor.

He opened the fridge and took a bottle of water.

Before coming back to the living room, he scanned the rest of the house. Young Midoriya’s door had forced entry signs. He was probably there when he activated his quirk, for there was a hole on the left wall that led to the bathroom, then to his mother’s room, then to the street. 

He returned and handed the water to Inko, who thanked him. They talked and she explained what happened. 

Midoriya Hisashi got a “job overseas” when Izuku was around 5, when he lost all hope of his quirk manifesting. Before that, he often hit both of them and was also very verbally abusive. He used to say that maybe ‘Izu-chan’s quirk can manifest if he is scared! We can force it out’ . She tried to move, and leave him, but she never gathered enough courage for that. She got really relieved when he left, but she still never knew how to react when he came to visit every 3 or four years. And she couldn't send him away because he paid for child support, and if she didn't let him in, he would stop and she wouldn't know what to do without it. 

They got interrupted by Inko’s phone ringing. 

“Hi, Mitsuki, did Izuku get there fine?”, she splintered as soon as she answered the call. 

“Yes, yes, he is upstairs with Katsuki. Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

“No, he didn’t do anything to me, I’m okay”. 

“Did he wreck the house again? Are you going to your mother’s?”

“No, my parents usually travel at this time of the year. Besides, I have work. I’ll probably stay at a hotel for a couple of weeks”.

“You know you can crash here for how long as you need, there’s plenty of room!”

“It’s okay, I appreciate the offer, but I’ll be fine. But can Izuku-”

“Yes, of course he can stay here. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him”. 

“Thank you, Mitsu!”

“Anytime, Grass-head. Call me if you need anything. I’ll keep you updated about him”, she hung up. 

Inko closed the phone and took a deep breath. “Well, I better start packing!”, she walked to her bedroom, and went through her clothes, putting them in a big suitcase. She was ready to stay at least a month out.

When she had packed everything, All Might offered to drive her wherever she was planning on going, and after resisting a little, she let him. He grabbed her stuff and carried it to the car, not allowing her to carry a thing. He put everything in the trunk, opened the passenger seat door for her, and took his place behind the wheel. She asked him to let her at a nearby hotel, but he insisted on taking her to a 5 stars one, which the owner owed him a big favor. 

“The perks of being the Symbol of Peace for so long, I guess!”, he chortled. Inko smiled at him, thankful. “One day, your son will experience the same thing”. 

“I still don’t know if that makes me happy or sad”, she confessed. 

“It is okay not to know. And it is also fine if it makes you happy and sad”, he comforted her. She nodded, thinking about what he said. “Oh, and is young Midoriya really staying with young Bakugou? Is that a good idea? I know their relationship has improved a lot, but isn't it more suitable that he stays with you?”, he asked, genuinely concerned. 

“Oh, no. Katsuki is the best person for him right now, don’t worry about them”, but Inko noticed that even if All-Might had been convinced, he still needed an explanation. “Staying with me, Izuku will try to look tough, and be overprotective over me, even if he was the one hurt. He won’t allow himself to be taken care of, and he needs that right now”. 

“And you trust young Bakugou to do that”. It wasn’t a question, Yagi just followed the train of thought and realized that she was right. Midoriya would try to take care of her even if she was fine, but with Katsuki he would probably allow himself to crumble down.

“I know their relationship is complicated”, Inko continued. “But Katsuki was never a bad kid, he just got lost. He is finding his way back. You know, when they were little, it was normal for Izuku to run to him whenever something happened. And Katsuki was so overprotective over him too...”, she testified.

“He was?”, and the woman nodded. “Midoriya-san, if you don’t mind me asking… Did something happen to them or they just... grew apart?”, he asked. 

She hesitated, her eyes dancing around as she looked for the right words, for the right way to explain things.  “Well, a lot happened. Katsuki always had a difficult temper, but things really took a more drastic turn when they were around four. One day, a few months before Hisashi left, he got home earlier than he was supposed to, drunk after a work event. I had left for 30 minutes to buy things for dinner. He caught the boys playing in Izuku’s room. He stormed in, furious over nothing, and started yelling at them. I think they were playing with heroes’ action figures. He screamed at Izuku that he should stop pretending that he was going to be a hero, because he wasn’t. He was ‘ weak and pathetic’ , and that he rather had no son at all than have him. He was going all over him but Katsuki defended him, exploding Hisashi arm”

“I bet that only made it worse”, Toshinori guessed.

“It did”, she nodded. “Hisashi said that he too could play with fire and started to burn the room like a crazy dragon or something. Katsuki froze and Izuku knew he had to take him out of there. So he grabbed him and took him out of the house, locking him out, and himself in”, she lamented. “I got home and found Katsuki crying at the door. From that day on he slowly started drifting away”. 

“I… I had absolutely no idea. Young Midoriya never talked about his father, and when we talked, none of them even referred to that”, he said apologetically. “ So I never even imagined something like this”. 

“Actually, I don’t think Katsuki remembers what happened. He was too young and Mitsuki and I think it was too traumatic for him”.

“But young Midoriya does?” 

“Yes. He was the one who told me what happened”, she sighed. “Mitsuki and I decided to put the boys in therapy, but they didn’t last long. Especially Katsuki, who never even understood why he had to go. He quit when he was 7. Izuku quit when he was 8”. 

“Wow, this explains why-”

“Why Izuku kept orbiting around him and insisting on their friendship?”, she guessed.

“Yeah, that and a lot of everything else, I guess”, he stopped at a red light and took the chance to look at Inko. She was fidgeting. 

“He blamed himself a lot for what happened. But it was my fault, I always told him that. I should not have left them alone. Actually, I should have left his father the moment he raised his voice at me for the first time, but I-”

“No, don’t do this to yourself. It’s no one’s fault but your husband's”, he cut in. “I’m really sorry you all had to go through this”. 

She took a deep breath and replied.

“Yeah, me too”.

The red light turned to green, and Toshinori kept driving.

Chapter Text

“Oi nerd, wake up!”, Bakugou stormed into the guest room, yelling. Midoriya jumped off the bed, green light surrounding his body. 

“What, what is it, what happened?”, he panted. He was lost until he remembered: he was sleeping in the Bakugous’ guest room. He deactivated One for All and took a deep breath. “For heaven’s sake, Kacchan, do you have to scream all the time?!”, he noticed the room had very little lighting. “What time is it?”

“Six! Now come”, he replied. 

“Six pm?”

“No. AM. You slept all day yesterday. So get the fuck out of your room, breakfast is on the table”. He commended and left the room. Izuku followed right away, to prevent any more screaming at six in the goddamn morning.

“Why do you wake up so early? It’s winter break and a Sunday!”, he complained. 

“Because we have fucking healthy lifestyles”. 

“Mhmm, right! You say you care so much about being healthy, but I don’t see you treating your mental health”, he quipped. 

“Oh, yeah, Izuku? How is your therapy going?”, he replied. 

“Very well actually, thank you for asking!”, Bakugou stopped midway on the stairs, stunned by what he heard. Izuku passed through him and headed to the kitchen. 

“Oh, Izuku-chan, good morning!”, he heard his father saying, followed by his mother.

“Izuku, darling, how are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling much better! Thank you for having me, Mitsuki-san, Masaru-san”, he said. 

“Oh, it’s our pleasure, honey!”, she said. 

“It’s your pleasure, old hag, don’t put me into that!”, Kacchan said when he entered the kitchen. 

“I meant your father and me, idiot. I know I can never count on you for anything”, she got closer to Midoriya and took his face gently in her hands, analyzing it. “Judging by what Katsuki said yesterday, your face looks pretty fine already”. 

Izuku’s mind clicked. Right, he had gotten hurt. His whole body was indeed hurting, but he was so used to the pain by now, he didn’t pay much attention to it. He looked at his arm, but there was almost no evidence that he had been burned yesterday, just a few scars to add to his collection. He lifted his hand to touch his face where his dad had hit him, and it didn’t hurt much. But how? Did he go to the hospital and didn’t remember, or did someone visit him? 

“It was that thing Recovery Girl got me, idiot. Don’t use the only brain cell you have trying to solve this big mystery! Now sit down”, Kacchan said, answering his thoughts - or more probably, his muttering. 

“Oh, right. Yeah, sorry! Yesterday is still blurry in my mind”, he apologized, sitting directly in front of Katsuki. “Thank you, by the way, for taking care of me”. 

“Yeah, whatever. Now shut the fuck up and eat, damn it”, he replied before angrily taking a bite of the toast he was holding. 

Midoriya poured himself some orange juice and took a sip, then something came to his mind.

“Oh my god!”, he sat up, almost causing everything to spill on the table.

“What the fuck, nerd?”

“My mom! I left her to deal with everything alone! No, no, no, no! I should call her!", he was about to leave, but Mitsuki held him, putting a plate of scrambled eggs in front of him, signing him to sit back again.

"Don't worry, I talked to her as soon as you got here, and she texted me yesterday night. She is fine! Better than you. All Might got her a room at a 5-star hotel for free, so she is basically in heaven. Besides, she is probably still sleeping, better wait to call her", she calmed him.

"All Might?", he screeched. 

"Seriously, why are you even surprised by that? Now can you do me a damn favor and", he raised his voice, "eat! Or do I have to shove the food down your fucking throat??".

“Don’t scream at the table, brat!”, she screamed. 

Masaru looked at Deku and half smiled at him. “You get used to it”.

“Not sure I want to, sir?”, he laughed nervously. 

They all ate together. The food was good, as usual. Izuku hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he ate the first bite. After all, he hadn’t eaten in a day. After breakfast, he offered to take care of the dishes, but Mitsuki sent him away, 'because he was a visitor'. 

He went up to his room and put his phone on the charger. After it turned on, he checked his messages. He had a few from his friends on his group chat, a lot of “Merry Christmas” and other unimportant stuff, and a few private messages from Todoroki and Uraraka. The fourth chat was from his mom. A short text: “Everything turned out fine, don’t worry” and a shared location. He opened it and texted.

Hey mom, I’m so sorry about everything and for not reaching out sooner

I hope you are feeling okay

Mitsuki-san told me All Might helped you, I’m glad!

I think you are still sleeping, so pls call me when you wake up

I love you!

He didn’t need to ask, he knew he was going to stay there until he returned to UA, so he figured it was better to unpack his stuff and put them in the wardrobe. As he was placing the last pieces in a drawer, Bakugou knocked on his door. 

“Oi nerd, you feeling good?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Get dressed then, we’re going for a run”, he announced. 

"We’re… now?”, Katsuki was off to his room without answering. Why does he have to be so active in the morning?

Don’t get him wrong. He is not a lazy person, and if he needs to wake up at 4 am every day, he will do it. But when he does not need to… He'd rather rest and wake up a little later. 

He got dressed and met Kacchan downstairs. When they left, the air was cold in their lungs. It hadn’t snowed yet, but it was colder than usual, so they would probably have snow by mid-January. The streets were silent since most people were still enjoying the morning after Christmas inside their homes. Sleeping . They ran in silence for a few blocks.

“So, are you really in therapy?”, Kacchan asked between his breath. 

“Yeah”.

“Since when?”

“Since Overhaul”.

“For real, nerd? That’s a long time now!”

“Yeah, I know”. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why? So you could make fun of me like you used to? And you never asked. Besides, I don’t think anyone else knows”.

“But when? You’re either at UA or at the internship, so…”, he pondered. 

“I do online sessions,”, he answered.

“Oh… Are you enjoying it?”, he pointed to his left, signaling that Deku should turn at the next corner.

“I wouldn't say ' enjoying' it . It’s pretty painful”, he breathed, “but it helps, a lot. Why‘re you asking? Are you finally considering seeing a therapist?”.

“What if I am?”, he badgered, trying to hide his embarrassment. 

“Bakugou Katsuki, considering therapy out of his own free will?”, Izuku bantered.

“Oh, fuck off!”, Kastuki raised his hands and tensioned his fingers, activating his quirk, causing Deku to flinch away. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”, he giggled.

“It’s just that Kirishima is putting the idea in my head for a while now”, he confessed. “Ever since my last panic attack he won’t shut the fuck up! He's all over me! He is starting to get more on my nerves than you, lately”.

“Kacchan!”, he fakely teared up, as if that was a great compliment. Bakugou shook his head, pretending he didn’t notice. Idiot.

“So anyway, dickhead, yes, I am considering seeing a fucking therapist, are you happy?”, he roared. 

“Very, actually”, Izuku beamed. Bakugou looked angrily at him. “No, I’m serious! I am very happy for you, Kacchan! I can even send you my therapist number if you’d like”, he offered. Bakugou remained quiet for 5 seconds. 

“Sure”, he said between his teeth and stormed away. Deku smiled and quickened his step after him. 

Their jog turned into a race. Sometimes Izuku got the advantage, sometimes Katsuki. Whenever they reached an empty street, Midoriya activated his quirk to help him go faster. Bakugou obviously did the same. After 35 minutes of this, they gave in on the sidewalk of a random street (because they forgot to keep track of the way), panting. When Katsuki realized they had completely diverged from their path, he got pissed at Deku, without acknowledging that he himself also took his share of wrong turns. 

They decided to walk home. The air was freezing their sweat and cutting their lungs, still, it felt good going around the neighborhood like that. They took some wrong turns again, to purposely take a little longer to get back, just… wandering. There was no rush in going back. They passed in front of old classmates’ houses and wondered what they were doing these days. Saw places they used to hang out in. Places they used to fight in. 

Those streets were full of history. The boys grew up there. They brought back a lot of memories to them, but even the bad ones didn’t hurt anymore. Walking around there, together, was therapeutic, to say the least. Because the stores, the houses, the buildings, the colors, they weren’t the same anymore. Everything looked similar, but they have changed. And so have they.

They reached Bakugou’s house three hours after they left. Masaru and Mitsuki were leaving the moment they got in. They had to coordinate a photoshoot in a nearby city and would be back at night. By the way Katsuki dealt with it, that was not unusual for them to work on weekends or holidays. His parents worked in the fashion industry, so they never stopped. It kind of explained why Kacchan had become so independent at a young age.

“I’m going to shower first, so feel free to put something on TV while I’m on it”, Bakugou said, throwing the remote control at Deku. 

He went up, took a change of clothes in his room, and headed to the bathroom. He took a shower to clean himself up while the bath was still filling with water. After he decided he was clean enough, he entered the bath and melted into the warmth of the water. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. 

“Why would I? So you could make fun of me like you used to?”, Deku’s voice repeated in his mind. 

At the time he pretended he didn’t hear what Izuku said. Because he knew it wasn’t his intention to provoke him or nothing like that. He was just saying. Still, it did provoke him. That sentence got stuck in the back of his mind because it was a consequence of his former attitudes, of his own mistakes. Because he knew that the fact the two of them were getting along better now would never erase the things he did, and Deku may have forgiven him, but he’d never forget what Bakugou said or did. And he understood that.

Yet, he wanted to yell at him something around the words “hey, if we are going to be friends now, don’t you come and throw the past at me! I’m doing my best to change”, because he really was, and yet some people still just saw him as a boy with anger issues and superiority complex. And that made him angry, and mad. But he didn’t have the right to feel like that. He didn’t have the right to want to be praised for finally doing the minimum. But the feeling was there and he couldn’t shake it away. He wanted someone to see that. He wanted Izuku to see that.

Shit, what am I thinking? He slid on the bathtub to be fully underwater. He stood there until he couldn’t hold his breath. Until the feeling of suffocating overtook him. Until his mind couldn’t create proper thoughts anymore. Until the only thing his body could think of was how bad he needed air again. Until his surviving instincts pushed him up and he gasped for air. 

Breathe in.1, 2, 3, 4. Out. 1, 2, 3, 4 In. Out. He repeated it until he had control over his thoughts again, so he got out, dried himself, and changed. 

He opened the bathroom door, a towel on his head, and screamed to the first floor. 

“Oi Izuku!! I’m done! Get your ass over here because you fucking stink!!”

“I’m sorry if I don’t have a quirk to make me smell so good!”, the voice came from his left, making Kacchan jump, for he was not expecting he would be on the second floor, much less this close. And- Wait, what did he say?

“What the fuck are you doing up here?”, he questioned. 

“Talking to my mom. I left my phone charging in the guest room. So it’s my t-”

“What the fuck did you say about my quirk?”, Katsuki smacked himself mentally for letting this slip.

“Eh? What do you mean?”, he was confused. He didn’t remember insulting him or anything, so why was he so rispid?

“Does it make me… you know…”

“Smell good?”, Deku completed. “What, like you didn’t know?”. 

“I-”, he started. No, he didn’t know. People hardly notice such things about themselves, so he had no idea he smelled any different. And no one ever bothered to say anything to his face. Bakugou’s face got red with embarrassment, which made Izuku giggle, upsetting Katsuki more. Kacchan refused to continue having this conversation and went down to start cooking. 

Deku got into the bathroom, smiling at himself, and got ready to have a shower because Bakugou was right, he did stink. He didn’t remember showering yesterday. However, he did wake up without bandages and he was pretty sure Katsuki had put them on his arms. He had different clothes on him, as well, so... or he did things on autopilot or… He shook his head. Autopilot it is. 

The whole bathroom smelled like caramel. He never found it fair that someone as rude as Kacchan could smell so sweet. But if life taught him something, it was that it wasn’t, it isn’t, and it will never be fair. 

He took off his clothes and got under the shower. He noticed that the water burned a little in a few spots, and just then he realized he had cuts and bruises all over his body. He sighed. He should’ve sent his dad away the moment he knocked on the door. Nothing good ever happened when he was around. 

He got in the tub and let the water relax his muscles.

It was infuriating that he had been through worse situations, like with Eri, and had had a better judgment then than when it happened in his own family. It made him feel stupid. And to let the situation escalate that much... Why was he so useless at the most critical times? Why does he keep messing things up? Wouldn't things be better if- He recognized a few intrusive thoughts knocking, trying to get in, and had to struggle to keep them from making their way into his mind. He did a coping exercise to stay grounded, listing everything he could physically see and feel. 

He thought about how the water felt on his skin, where it burned, where it hurt, where it felt good. He thought about how his wet curls felt on his fingers. How the light reflected on the steam. How the glass was fogged. How the condensed water went down the black tile walls. How many shampoo and conditioner bottles there were on a glass shelf above his head. How many ruined toothbrushes he saw at the sink. How it all smelled like Ka-. 

“Well, this is enough”, he got up and wrapped himself on the towel Bakugou had left him. He shook his hair with his hands to get the excess of water out, and then finally looked in the mirror. His face was much better. He still had a small green and purple mark on his chin, but other than that, it was okay. The cut had healed and it was not swollen. “I have to remember to ask for one of these as soon as we get back to UA”, he said to himself on a mental note.

Looking around, he realized he had forgotten to bring clothes with him. He opened the door and checked if there was someone around. The path was clear, so he walked to his provisory room and pushed the door closed. He unwrapped himself and put on his underwear and pants. He was unfolding a shirt when Katsuki got in. 

“Oi nerd, my stupid mother forgot to buy panko flour, so I’m heading to the convenience store to get some, do you need anything?”

“Oh, no, not really, Kacchan, I’m fine! Do you want me to join you, though?”, he asked, putting the shirt on. 

"No fucking way, I see your face too much already”. Something caught Kacchan’s attention. “Hey, lift your shirt again”. 

“What? Why? What are you-?”, he spluttered.

“Fuck! Relax! Just do it!”, he insisted. Deku reluctantly took off the shirt, cringing as Katsuki got closer. “Damn it, nerd, I said relax! I won’t hurt you”, he touched his arm, moving it out of the way. “What the fuck is this?”

“This what?”.

“This!”, he pointed exasperated to a massive bruise on his left, that went from his waist to his shoulder blades. Probably from when his father pushed him at the kitchen sink. “Fuck, Izuku!”, he stalked away to his own room. Well , good thing is, if he hadn’t seen this before, then this means I functioned on autopilot yesterday, Deku thought. 

Kacchan came back holding a small pot in his hands: the Recovery Girl miracle plaster. 

“Lower your pants here, just a little”, he ordered, kneeling down to have a better look at the injury.

“Oh my god, Kacchan, you don’t need to-”, he tried to get away.

“Shit, idiot, stand still, damn it!”, Katsuki roared.

“I can do this myself then, just give it to me!”, he pleaded.

“You won’t reach most of it, now stop moving!”, he dictated. Deku listened to him, and hesitantly lowered the side of his pants. “Why didn’t you say anything about this?”. Katsuki’s voice had dropped from feral to almost soft. He surprised Izuku by that. Kacchan is actually worried.

“Because it’s fine! Really!”, he flinched when Bakugou touched his skin. It hurt a little, but the cold of the plaster was extremely relieving. 

“This can’t be fine ! It’s uglier than your fucking face!”

“But it is”, Izuku said. “My quirk is One for All, and I don’t know if you noticed but it is not really a gentle quirk! I’m used to the pain right now, so don’t worry, I can take it”, he smiled. 

“I’m not fucking worried”, he lied. “Just…”, he hesitated, “Look, just because you can take something, doesn’t mean you have to”. 

That’s rich coming from you, Izuku thought. 

Midoriya was surprised at how soft Kacchan’s hands were. Not just the skin itself (because of nitroglycerin), but his touch. He figured that he would be rough and agitated, like he usually is all the time, but he was the opposite. His touch was more gentle than he could ever imagine.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?”, Bakugou asked, getting back on his feet.

The look in his eyes, the tone of this voice… He was like a completely different person. He was being truly kind and gentle, in his own way, since he had gotten there. 

Izuku felt his chest tighten. 

Because if Katsuki was acting like that, it was proof that he could act like that. But he chose to show off someone entirely different, and Izuku thought he knew why. Why he pretended to not care for people, why he was afraid to look weak, why he hated being protected. 

“Hey, are you okay? Did I hurt you?”. 

Deku shook his head, wiping the tears from his eyes, taking a deep breath. “No, you didn’t. I’m sorry”. 

“Stop apologizing for crying, idiot, it’s like apologizing for breathing when it comes to you”, he said, relieved to finally see him at least tearing up. 

Yeah, like breathing ... Breathing? He suddenly became too aware of that. Breathing… Izuku was trying to breathe correctly. How do you even do that? He couldn’t remember. His chest hurt. Was his heart taking too much space? 

“So, I’m going to ask just one more damn time!”, Kacchan started. “Are you hurt anywhere else?” 

Chapter Text

“Are you hurt anywhere else?”, the voice echoed in his ears. 

Yes, he was. 

There wasn’t a single part of him that wasn’t hurt. Not a single part of his body that was intact. Not a single particle of his soul that hasn’t been broken. 

He was hurt.

He felt the flood of thoughts coming. Please, don’t. Try focusing on the things around you. Try-

He was hurt. He… 

Try...

Try remembering how to breathe.

It was a suffocating feeling. Like someone was standing in his chest.

He couldn’t breathe. 

His legs forgot how to stand. 

His chest hurt.

All the feelings he kept inside him started to burst out and no coping mechanism in the world could calm him down right now.

He heard someone scream. Was it him? He couldn’t tell. There was too much noise inside him suddenly. 

He cried out his anger, his sorrow, his regret, his fear, his shame, his blame. Cried in a way like he hasn’t before. Sure, he cries often, but this was different. He always felt on the verge of tears because he was always so… full. There was never space for anything else. He was a dam at full capacity for too long and his walls couldn’t hold it anymore.

Something tapped his mouth and the scream stopped. But he still needed to breathe. How do you do that? 

“...nose!”, he heard a muffled distant sound. “Breathe through your nose!”. It was Bakugou. He had his arms around him, holding his pieces in place. What did he say? “Izuku, breathe through your nose!”. 

Right! The nose. He breathed in. It hurt, there wasn’t enough space in his lungs. Breathed out. Breathed in. This time it was better. Breathed out. In. Out. In. Out. Okay, that’s how it’s done. In. Out. In. Out. He was able to refocus again. 

“What’s wrong?”, Kacchan asked from behind, his arms being the only things grounding him. “What’s wrong?”. 

Deku looked down at his shaking hands, green and red light danced through it. There was something at his chest trying to come out. Was it his heart? It was heavy. He needed it to be out. How? 

What is wrong? 

The words echoed. How can they echo through crowded spaces? 

What is wrong? 

It was heavy. As if gravity was playing with him.

What is wrong? 

He could almost breathe again, even if the air felt like liquid metal in his lungs. 

What is wrong ? 

His mouth tasted bitter. 

What is wrong?

Why did he feel like that? Everything was fine now, wasn’t it? 

No. No? 

No! 

Then what-

“What’s wrong?”, Izuku asked, suddenly setting himself free from Bakugou’s arms, taking both of them by surprise. “What is wrong ? Fucking everything!!”, he raged. “Nothing has ever been right in my entire life! My life has always been a raging disaster”.

Izuku never thought of himself as the kind of person that asked ‘ why me?’. He chose to believe that whatever life threw at him, it was to make him stronger. That it was preparing him to become a hero someday, one that could smile through everything. That’s the vision he had of himself. But more specifically, that was the lie he told himself every day.

“My father was always a fucking jerk, and after I got the worst news of my life, he got so. much. worse. But it was okay because I had my mom and you! Right? WRONG!! Because soon after that you just... I wanted to believe it wasn’t my fault, but fuck! The timing?”, he exhaled. “Before I knew he had fucking screwed you up too, and you started treating me just as bad as he did. You were the only friend I had and you treated me like shit! Worse than that!”, he cried.

Izuku didn't mean to start yelling at Bakugou like that. This wasn't about him. He was not mad at him, he was angry at his father and at himself for being the useless kid he always was, letting things get where they got. But he wasn't filtering his words, and he unloaded all he kept within for long, and Katsuki felt them as knives in his chest, but he accepted them. He deserved them. 

“And I just couldn’t be fucking mad at you! And I tried to hate you, I really did. My life would have been so much easier if I had brought myself to hate you just as much as you hated me”, Izuku kept going. “But I’m a damn stupid empathetic piece of shit and I knew you were hurting too, and I couldn’t get mad at you. And I let you and everyone else just fuck me up. Over. And Over. And Over.” His voice thundered through the room.

There were tears on his face, but they were far from being tears of sorrow. All of the thoughts, the emotions, the feelings he denied throughout his life had shuffled up into a big mess of anger. 

He was mad. He was furious. He usually didn’t let himself get this far, but he had no control over himself anymore. He was looking at his body from above, thunderstruck. Still. Surprised at the words that came out of his mouth. He didn’t remember formulating them. The green electricity occasionally going through his body gave him a feral look, with his eyes glowing in the light. A look he didn’t quite recognize. 

Bakugou didn’t try to calm him down yet. He had the right to feel like that, and he needed to let things out. He understood that better than anyone else. 

“And I was so happy when I met All Might. God , I really thought my problems would be over if I became a hero!”, he laughed hysterically. “But things just kept getting worse, and worse, and worse. And I tried my ass off to keep my spirit up! But everyone around me would still get hurt, and all because a useless kid dreamed too big and got a power he wasn’t supposed to have. If Mirio had gotten it as Sir suggested… All for One was right, I am a mistake!”

No, wait. Bakugou suddenly felt a cold shiver through his spine. He didn't like where this was going. He was waiting since the moment Deku appeared at his door for him to cry and let it out like he always does. Having him numb like he was yesterday was deeply concerning. He wanted him to cry… but he didn't want this. This was about to be too much. The knuckles on Izuku’s hands were white. Kacchan was sure that if he clenched his fist a little bit harder, he would hurt himself.

“If only I knew that this nightmare of life would be waiting for me...” He put his hands in his face, pressing his eyes, breathing hard and short. “I should’ve listened to you!” He growled. “My father wanted me gone! You wanted me gone!”, Don’t say it, nerd. “I should have died long ago!”

Bakugou jumped at him, strongly holding his wrists and pulling them away from his face. “Don’t you ever say those words again!”, he yelled between his teeth. Midoriya didn’t pay attention to him. 

"Sir saw me dying! I was supposed to be dead But I just tricked death and sent it on his way instead! And almost to you! ” he continued, his breath uneven, a step from hyperventilating again. “Everything would be just so much better if I was-”

“Don’t!” Katsuki shouted, hands still tight on his wrists, bumping Izuku's body, trying to catch his eyes and take him out of the dark place his mind was taking him. “Don’t you dare say that again.” 

Izuku's eyes widened, aware of what he was about to say. Of what he had said. He had finally taken control over himself. “I just can’t take all of this anymore. I said I could but I can’t!”, a whine came out of his throat. His quirk vanished and his knees gave way one more time. 

“I know”, Katsuki held him so he wouldn't fall, but kneel gently. 

“It’s too much, and it’s everywhere. Everyone is always suffering and I wish I were able to stop it. I wish I could take it myself”, he wailed.

“I know”.

 “I should be able to do it! It’s one for all. I should be able to...”

“It’s just a name. Nothing else”.

“All Might did it”.

“You and I know that that’s not completely true”.

“You don’t get it”.

“I’m the only one that gets it”. 

“Still, I should-”

“Izuku, you’re seventeen”, he cut him.

“But-”

“You. Are. Seventeen. You got your quirk at fifteen. You had little time to even get used to it before having to fight for your and other’s lives, and you still did it so damn well. You saved all of us at fucking sixteen. Useless my ass! Don't start listening to the brat I was now!”, Izuku closed his eyes, sobbing, letting Bakugou’s words sink in. He continued. “And we are still students, we’re not even ‘pro-heroes’ yet. We were caught up in this fucked up mess, and yeah we’re better than most of them, sure," he flatered, "but we’re students. And more than that… Do you remember what you said to me a few months ago?” Izuku nodded. “What?”.

“We- We’re just humans”, he repeated his own words. 

“Damn right. Don’t you fucking lecture me about this then go and forget it yourself. Besides, you don’t have to face everything alone. You have me, you got that? Now come here".

He pulled Deku to an embrace. Bakugou sank his fingers in his hair, and massaged the back of his head, feeling as Izuku’s body went from rigid and shaky to relaxed and heavy against his. 

In an act of instinctive protection, Kacchan laid a delayed kiss on top of his head. He noticed he’d done that a little too late when the body he was holding chuckled delicately under his arms, and green wet curls dove deeper into his chest. 

“Ah, fuck”, he thought out loud. 

“You can’t take that back, just so you know”, Midoriya breathed. 

“Yeah, I figured”, he buffed. He tried to shove Izuku away and get up, but two arms kept him from moving. Sometimes he forgot how strong Deku had become. 

“Just a little longer, please”, the boy begged against his chest. 

Bakugou scoffed, “God, you’re so fucking needy!”, but put his arms around Deku again. 

"Don't you act like you're not touch starved yourself", he taunted.

"I'm not!"

"Mhmm"

They didn’t know how long they were like that, embracing uncomfortably on the ground. Fifty seconds, five minutes, half an hour, who knows. 

Izuku’s senses were all fixed in the sweet scent of Bakugou’s shirt, in the soft sensation of his skin on his, in the way he hugged him with just the right amount of strength. A waste to this world, Kacchan, that’s what you are. A stupidly great hugger who throws away his potential. He would be lying, though, if he didn’t admit that a feeling of hubris grew in his chest because I am one of the few people who get to know this. 

And Katsuki may have dismissed it, but maybe, maybe, Deku had scored. He was touch starved, even if he had never been aware of it. But now that this unwanted characteristic was finally pointed out, it was harder to ignore. Because the longer he held that boy, the longer he sensed his breathing and heartbeat equaling his, the longer he smelled his own shampoo on the green hair rubbing against his chin, the harder it was to let go. His stomach pinched over the realization. Motherfucker.

“Okay, up!” Bakugou jolted, getting away from Deku and standing.

“What the hell?” Midoriya asked, falling to the ground over the loss of what was supporting his weight, confused at the sudden movement.

“Put on your shirt” Katsuki was arbitrary, leaving no room for argument. 

“Okay?” Izuku obliged, still trying to get a hold of the situation.

“C’mon, I’ll show you my favorite room in the house. I don’t think you’ve been there before.” Bakugou stormed off and headed to the stairs. Izuku was sure to follow, even if hesitantly. “Jesus fuck, relax! I’m not gonna go all Fifty Shades of Grey over you if that’s what you’re thinking” he vowed. He smirked at the small noise that came out of Izuku’s throat.

“K- Kacchan! That’s not what I… Well, that wasn’t what I was thinking.”

Katsuki turned around to look at his face to see if his expression matched his voice. “Oh my fucking god, Deku!” he sneered at him. The boy’s face was completely red behind his freckles, twisted in bewilderment, and he had both his hands sunk in his hair. 

“It’s not my fault I have a very visual and active imagination!” he cried. Kacchan couldn’t help a fit of laughter from taking over his body. “Oh, fuck you!”, Midoriya scolded.

“Hey, watch it!”, he pointed a finger at the freckled face in warning, then he turned back again and started to go down the stairs, laughing at himself, “You’re so goddamn weird!”

On the first floor, Kacchan went to the entrance and took his and Izuku’s shoes, then he guided them to the back of the house until they were in front of a solitary black metal door. There was a shy smirk that still lingered on the blond’s lips because he figured Izuku was still trying to calm his mind and the appearance of the door certainly didn’t help. 

“Here, put them on”, Bakugou handed Midoriya his red shoes, putting on his own shoes as well. 

Katsuki opened the door and entered the room, followed by a scared Deku. He closed it before turning the light on, purposefully extending his harmless psychological torture. When the room was finally bright and they got used to the light, an airy voice filled the room.

“What the fuck?” Midoriya exclaimed, followed by an “Ouch! Why’d you do that?” after he felt a smack on the back of his head. 

“Second time you cursed in less than 5 minutes, idiot!”, Katsuki barked.

“Are you gonna lecture me every time I say fuck, or shit, or damn, or dick, or mmhm mhm-” a hand covered up his mouth to stop him, but Deku just kept going as if nothing had happened. And he didn’t do so only because the expression of amusement mixed with discomfort in Kacchan’s face was too endearing and funny to go to waste. 

“Shut the fuck up!” Katsuki growled mid-laugh. 

Midoriya  grabbed Bakugou’s wrist, holding it away from himself. “Why does it bother you so much?”

“It just does!” he pulled his arm free from the grip, and took something from behind him. “Here, take this.” He handed him a baseball bat. 

And then it made sense. Izuku was shocked when he saw such a messy room in the Bakugous’ residence. The three of them were extremely tidy, so he thought it disconcerting having a room filled with old TVs, dusty sofas, and broken furniture. 

“This is a rage room!” he concluded. 

“Yeah, no shit!” Kacchan handed him a pair of protection glasses. 

“I didn’t know you had one of these!”

“You don’t know everything about me, nerd!” Izuku started pacing around the place, jumping over broken glass and shifting away from pointy wood. Katsuki continued, “My father did this for me after I blew up a kitchen cabinet 4 years ago”. Bakugou went to the radio and connected his phone to the aux cord. He selected his Explosions and Murder playlist and pressed play. Very loud and noisy music filled the room. “So?”, he yelled to Deku above the music. “Are you going feral or what?”, he encouraged him, pointing to the bat. He could see the reluctance in his wide green eyes, so he pushed a little bit more, “You can’t possibly have let out everything you had. Aren’t you still angry?”, he saw his fingers fidgeting on the bat, his mouth moving quickly “Izuku, stop muttering and answer me! Are you still angry?” Another mouth movement. “I can’t hear you, idiot!”

“Yes!”, he screamed. 

“Good! At what?”

“At…” he hesitated, “At my dad!”, he punched a TV. Oh, this is nice. “At you!”, he broke a pile of dishes. “At-”, he stumbled in his words.

“Say it!”

“At All Might!”, he destroyed a whole bookshelf. “At our teachers! At Nana! At All for One!”, he now was punching everything in his reach. “At Shigaraki! At Endeavor! At myself!”

Midoriya kept going, shattering glass and porcelain, breaking wood, kneading metal. The sound of the chaos he was creating resonated within him, made sense to him, gave sense to him. Every shock his muscles received from the hits fried years of tension away. “I can see why you like this!”, Deku yelled suddenly, taking Katsuki by surprise. He turned back to look at the blond boy who was just watching him with a dratted grin on his face, “This is better than therapy!”, he went back to manufacturing his predictable chaos. 

“I know!”, Bakugou’s mouth automatically responded to help him in his dumbfoundedness. Because he wasn’t ready for the way Izuku looked when he turned to him. Some of his green curls were glued to his face due to the sweat, and he was blushing from the effort and the heat of the room. But there was something in the way his body talked. In his raw posture, the swing in his feet, the way his finger danced around the grip, and…

“No!”, he looked at him again. And his eyes. “ I get to say that because I’m in therapy. You don’t!”, he pointed the bat at him, panting. “You still need it. Urgently!”, back to breaking things. 

His eyes. The light in them was dancing. They were flickering. Awake. Alive. There was beauty in the way Izuku was allowing himself to succumb to this sort of violence. He finally looked like a real person. A flawed one. Someone who too got dark feelings inside him. Someone within reach. This was the truest version of Midoriya Izuku he had ever seen.  

His stomach pinched again. What now?  

He looked at his phone. It was almost 3 pm. He was hungry and lunch wasn’t even close to being ready. His gaze searched Deku again and his jaw clenched. His hands were sweating a little more than usual and he felt his quirk wanting to activate without his permission. He closed his hands quickly, for there was no way he could let that happen in that room filled with flammable items. 

“Keep this shit for as long as you want. I’m gonna go get that fucking stupid flour”, he screamed at Midoriya as he was heading off through the door. He closed it before he could hear an answer. 

The moment he stepped outside, he opened his hands and saw sparkles dancing on his fingers, threatening to get bigger. 

“What the fuck?”, he mouthed, drying his hands on his pants and walking towards the front door, not giving a shit about being with his shoes on. He was angry and agitated because he was hungry, that was it. So he needed to go and get that stupid panko already to finish that stupid katsudon. 

Sure, he could do something other than Izuku’s favorite food. But that wasn’t why he was doing it. He also wanted to eat that fucking shit. It was not because he was trying to make him feel comfortable. No way in hell.

Chapter Text

Izuku slept really early that day. He was exhausted as never before. 

Mentally and physically.

Yesterday was all too much. 

Overwhelming. 

But it was worth it, for when Katsuki knocked on his door the next morning, yelling at him and being more efficient than any other alarm clock Izuku has ever experienced, he was rested. He felt new. Like his body parts had been replaced. Mitsuki pointed out that he looked different while they were having breakfast - Masaru didn’t notice anything in particular - and Midoriya just smiled in response. And he didn’t notice it, but Mitsuki being the perceptive woman she is, saw when her son mirrored that smile. 

It was Monday again, so the week had restarted for Katsuki’s parents, but the boys didn’t have much to do. 

On other days, those two already being the workaholic they were, would probably train, go for a run, exercise. But due to the circumstances, they wordlessly agreed to just rest for the day. So they spent the day playing video games, reading, and watching tv. Sometimes they would just stay silent next to the other on the couch, going through their own phones. 

At night, Masaru brought them Mexican food and they all ate together. Later, Bakugou and Mistuki fought over letting Izuku do the dishes. But in the end, Midoriya was sent upstairs because he was a guest, and "A guest doesn't need to do your work, Katsuki!". Of course, there was no point in arguing, so he went up and got ready to bed first. He took a shower and filled the tub, then allowed himself to relax in the warmth of the water. 

He was in bed twenty minutes later, but he wasn’t tired yet. It was too early, 8:17 pm, so he grabbed his personal notebook and started writing. About the things he had said, about the things he was thinking, about how he’s been lately. He looked down at the words on the page and couldn’t believe all of that was inside him, all those feelings. He let out a sigh, proud at himself for finally naming it all, even if some of them were a bit scary to him. 

By 10 pm, he got a message from his mom saying that she was okay and that her day had been amazing at the hotel. She also said that the hospital called her and that Hisashi was fine and nearly fully recovered. She then asked if he thought about pressing charges against him.

He didn’t know what to answer. Not now.

He was happy, of course, that his dad was okay, but her bringing him up and asking him that just didn’t do him good. He felt his mind spiraling down, and his stomach revolving. He was anxious again and he needed to focus on something else. T o chase the feeling of discomfort away, he grabbed his phone and put on an episode of a new seasonal anime. He expected to watch only one or two episodes, but he completely lost track of time because he didn’t see it passing at all.

“What the hell are you still doing up?”

Midoriya jumped, dropping his phone on the bed, startled by the sudden appearance. “Holy shit!” He hadn’t even noticed when Bakugou opened his door. “Hi. So… Hm... This new anime is actually pretty good!” 

Katsuki was at the doorway, leaning against the door jamb, one eyebrow up. “Do I look like I give a fuck? It’s 1 am already! Go to bed!”

“I am in bed!”, he replied, taking his phone back up again. 

“Ha, funny. I sometimes long for the days you weren’t cocky with me.” Katsuki scoffed.  “Go to sleep , then, asshole!”

“I will! As soon as I finish this episode. And what are you doing up? Having trouble sleeping again?”, Midoriya frowned, concerned. 

“Nah, not today. Just needed to use the bathroom and saw your lights were still on” he yawned. “What anime is it anyway?”

“Jujutsu Kaisen.”

“You fucking idiot! You’re watching it without me?” He yelled under his breath, trying not to be too loud. 

“I- I didn’t know you wanted to watch it? Much less with me!”

“As I said, you’re a goddamn idiot! I was the one who told you about that one, wasn’t I? And you’re spending two fucking weeks in here, so if you’re gonna binge-watch it, might as well do it with me, don’t you think?”, Katsuki reasoned. Izuku couldn’t help but think that yeah, he had a point. “So, what episode are you in?”

“Five”. 

“Then stop that shit already. You're gonna rewatch those with me, then we finish it”.

“Okay!”, Midoriya giggled at his friend's attitude. 

“That being said: sleep. Now!” The blond ordered, turning off the lights. 

“Fine!” Izuku put his phone aside and dropped his head on the pillow. Katsuki was apparently pleased by being obeyed, so he closed the door without saying anything else. 

Still, Midoriya didn’t sleep right away, even though he was already tired. He kept tossing and turning, trying to understand what he wanted to do about his dad. Eventually, he fell asleep. Without an answer. 

The next morning went just like the others. Katuki woke him up as softly as a stone crusher, they went downstairs and had breakfast. Masaru and Mitsuki headed off to work, and the boys were alone at the house. Midoriya did the dishes - now that Mitsuki wasn't there to stop him - and Bakugou put them away. Then they went upstairs and tied everything up. After Deku finished his part, he went to the next room.

“Hey”, Izuku called at Katsuki’s door, while the blond finished doing his bed. 

“What?”

“I think I’m going out for a run and-”

“Sure, I’ll join you”

“Hm?”

“Isn’t that what you were going to ask?”, Kacchan pointed out.

“Ah… Yeah. It was”, Deku blinked at him.

“Okay, then. I’ll be ready in five”.

Izuku nodded, then waited for him by the entrance door. When Katsuki says five minutes, he means five minutes. Not a minute more or less. He came trotting down the stairs, holding his sneakers in his hand. He sat on the genkan to put them on. 

He looked up. “Are you ready?”, he asked Midoriya. 

“Yeah! Let’s go”. 

Before they started running, they stretched a little bit and warmed up, to wake their muscles up. Then they started walking and putting on speed until they were fully running. Unlike last time, when Bakugou took the lead of where they were going, Midoriya was in control of their track. Katsuki had no idea where they were heading, but it was clear to him that Deku had a destination in mind. After 30 minutes, they saw themselves at Takoba Municipal Beach Park. 

Kacchan didn’t understand why that place exactly. No one would ever go there, it was a dumpster. He was ready to say that to the green-haired boy in front of him, but he stopped himself, the words stuck in his throat. 

“What the fuck happened here?”, he asked, mesmerized. The beach was completely clean, the grass around it well cut and the fence repainted. Some flowers had been planted and were managing to survive even in winter. It was beautiful.

“It’s become a really nice place, hasn’t it?”, Izuku turned to look at him. Bakugou nodded, and he continued. “All Might made me clean it up to prepare my body for One for All”. 

“ You did this?” And then he remembered Izuku’s story of how he got his power. He just had never paid much attention to that part. 

“Yeah…”, Izuku couldn’t help but smile. He was really proud of himself for this. “It became my personal project. When All Might gave me his powers, I still hadn’t completely finished. So I started to come here at every chance I got to fix one or two things, and clean it all up. It helps me think.” He pointed to his left, where a man was playing with his dog by the sea. “When people started coming here again, it made me really happy”.

“... amazing”, Katsuki breathed out. 

“What?”, Izuku didn’t hear quite well because of the wind. 

“ The place!” , he emphasized. “The place is amazing. You really worked your ass off here, hun?” 

“Thanks”, he smiled. 

Deku walked up to the fence and looked at the sea, smelling the salty air and feeling the cold wet wind hit his face. Kacchan joined him, staying by his left. They were silent, just listening to the seagulls and the ocean.

“Okay, what’s bothering you?”, Katsuki broke the silence.

“Hm?”, Izuku kept his eyes on the horizon. 

“You have that stupid thinking face of yours. What the hell is going in here?”, he poked Deku’s head. 

There was a moment of hesitation before he actually spoke. “My mom asked if I wanted to press charges against my dad”. 

Bakugou waited to see if Midoriya was going to say something else, but when he didn’t, he asked, “You are going to, right?”

He lifted his shoulders, “I don’t know”.

“How the fuck do you not know?”

“He’s my dad, Kacchan!”

“Exactly! He is your father, and he still treated you like that. To hell with him! I don’t give a fuck if he’s your dad, he is an asshole and he should be in jail”. 

“But-”

“But, but, but… ‘but’ my ass!! You know how I feel about this shit”, and Izuku did know how Bakugou felt about this. 

It’d taken Katsuki a while to realize it, but if there was one thing he owed Todoroki Shoto was that the boy opened his eyes to the fact that no parent should treat their children like shit. No excuses. A parent should be a safe haven to their kids, and home should be where they felt good. Katsuki went feral when he heard that Endeavor was only being forced to retire, and nothing else. “Here, reason with me: imagine it’s not your dad we’re talking about. Imagine that some little kid came to you for advice, saying that their dad beat them up. What would you do?”

Deku pondered for a few seconds. “Okay, I got your point”, he sighed.

“Besides, you’re not Useless Deku anymore. You’re Hero Deku now. You two don’t have to be scared of him anymore. And honestly, after what happened, I highly doubt your father will ever show his ass again”. 

“Guess you're right”. 

“Hell yeah, I am”. 

They stood there for about five minutes, staring at the waves coming and going until Izuku decided to leave. He had thought about it enough, and Katsuki was right. He had to speak up against Hisashi. He is in a position to do so now, without having to fear him.  

They went back to the house running again, side by side. At home, they showered and got themselves comfortable on the couch to start watching Jujutsu Kaisen. By episode six, they stopped and went to the kitchen to prepare lunch. Since Izuku’s abilities in the kitchen were more towards the baking area, he wasn’t really as agile as Katsuki liked when it came to cooking salty food, so he always got less important roles, like making juice, setting ingredients aside, stirring, and cleaning things as they were being used. 

After they ate, the binge-watching restarted. In episode 9, Bakugou turned to Midoriya to comment about something that had happened, but he met a sleepy Izuku, with his head hanging down. He couldn’t help but laugh because the boy’s mouth was half-opened and he was drooling a little. 

Katsuki got his phone and got closer to get a good picture. Maybe he could use it as blackmail in the future. But he didn’t notice the fucking flash was on, and the sudden light woke Deku up. He instantly realized what happened.

“Delete it!” he tried to grab the phone.

“It’s your own fucking fault to be asleep!” Kacchan dodged. 

“How is it my fault ? I didn't choose to fall asleep!” Deku still hasn’t given up on trying to take the phone and delete the picture. 

“You go to bed late, that’s what you get!” The blond held his phone up high, away from Dekus’s reach.

“Oh my god, can you stop lecturing me about these things? ‘ Eat healthier, sleep earlier, don’t curse’ . You’re not my mom, you know that. right?” He gave up on trying to get the phone with his hands and activated Blackwhip. Now this will be easy.

“So? I’m your friend!”, Katsuki said, without a second thought. 

Izuku instantly deactivated his quirk and his mind went blank. Did he hear right? He did, didn’t he? 

“Why do you look like you’re about to cry again? Jesus fuck!”, Katsuki asked, with his hand still up. 

“It’s the first time you’ve ever said that”, Deku stated, eyes blinking to get the tears out.

“Said what?”, he was confused. He didn’t notice much about anything in what had just happened. 

“That you’re my friend ”. 

“Bullshit, I definitely said that before.” Kacchan wasn’t going to deny what he said. That’s how he viewed themselves now. He actually viewed themselves as friends for a long time, but he had actually come to terms with it over the past few months.

“No, you didn’t!”

“I did!”

“Did not!” Izuku chuckled. “I think I would remember that!”.

Yeah, you definitely would. Katsuki hadn’t really noticed he’d never said that before, but Izuku was right. If he had admitted that before, he would remember. 

“You can keep the picture”, Izuku said. Friends had compromising photos of each other, right?

“Like I needed your permission! You were never getting to delete this, jerk. You don’t even know my password”. 

“Isn’t it the day All Might debuted?” He raised one eyebrow, mocking him.

“Fuck you! How do you know that?” 

“It’s been that password since you got your first phone!”

“You are so creepy, you know that?”, Kacchan said, opening the settings of his phone, changing his password for the first time in years. He sat back on the couch and Izuku did the same. 

“Yeah, I know. You often remind me of that”.

“And yet, you do nothing to change! Anyway, do you know when you stopped watching?” 

Midoriya tried to recall the last thing he’d seen. “What episode are we in?”

“Nine”. 

“Oh, I think I passed out in the middle of the eighth”. 

So they went back to episode eight and kept going from there. Katsuki kept checking on Izuku to see if he was still awake, but he didn’t show any signs of being tired anymore. They finished the whole show as soon as Mitsuki and Masaru got home. Then they quickly prepared something to eat, and they all went to bed after showering. 

Izuku still wasn’t really tired, but he followed Kacchan’s orders and didn’t use his phone at night. He wrote a few things in his notebook, and turned his lights off at nine. He tossed and turned for a while, but he fell asleep around 30 minutes later.  

----------

It was Thursday, December 30, and Mitsuki was on the phone with Inko. 

“You have to come with us! A lot of our friends from college will be there!”

“ I don’t know, Mitsu… It’s been so long since I saw them”.

Mitsuki was traveling for the weekend with Masaru to a resort upstate, to spend New Year’s Eve with some of her old friends. And she was trying to take Inko with them because God knows she needed the distraction.

“Exactly! It has been forever since you joined us in anything! Please come with us, Grass-head! Don’t make me kidnap you!”

“Okay, okay! I will!”, she finally agreed. 

“Awesome!”, Mitsuki cheered. “Are you working tomorrow?”

“I can talk to them and take the day off”

“Good! See you tomorrow morning then. We’ll settle the details through Line”, and she hung up the phone. She turned to Katsuki and Izuku, who were still at the table having breakfast. “What are you two doing tomorrow?”

“Oh, I have a-” Kacchan started but stopped himself. He had plans, but he wasn’t alone anymore. He looked at Deku. “Oi, nerd, do you have any plans?”

“I don’t. But I’ll be fine on my own, don’t worry. You can do wh-”

“Like hell I’m leaving you alone”, he interrupted him. “How do you feel about going to Jirou’s house with me? If you don’t feel like being around people yet we can just stay here”. 

  “No, I’m doing fine! We can go wherever”. 

“Okay. So, Aux Cord is going to throw a small party at her house tomorrow night. I told her I was going, so you’ll come with me”. 

“Are you sure it is okay if I go? I wasn’t invited…”, Izuku hadn’t been invited to many parties in his life, and even though he had finally made some friends in high school, social gatherings weren’t something he was very used to. 

“Are you kidding? It’s you. Of course it’s okay”. And like that, it was settled. Izuku would join Katsuki at Jirou’s party. 

Friday morning came, and Mitsuki and Masaru left the house right after breakfast to get Inko at the hotel before they go on their trip. The boys spent the day as they usually did: running in the morning, shower, tv, make and have lunch, video games and whatever, and snack break. 

At around 5pm, Bakugou went up and started to get ready. He took another shower and before going to his room to change, he yelled at Izuku to go do the same, because he didn’t care that they were only leaving the house in two hours, he was not gonna be late. 

He put on black jeans that were not too tight, just enough to outline some of his features, a white t-shirt under a dark orange shirt, and got a black overcoat and scarf to wear on the way since it was freezing outside. After getting ready he got down and kept going around on his phone while he waited for Izuku. 

10 minutes later, he heard him getting down the stairs, so he lifted his eyes to the boy and almost choked. 

“You’re not wearing that!”. Izuku was wearing baggy dark green pants, one of his usual white shirts, and a dark red jacket. 

“What’s wrong with it?”, he asked, looking down at himself.

“You can’t wear a shirt that says ‘party shirt’ and expect to look good. This joke was never funny, you dipshit. And those pants… They look like sweatpants”. 

“But… I don’t have anything else! This is the nicest thing I have with me”, he whined.

“I bet this is the nicest thing you have ”, he teased. “Go grab something in my closet, for fuck’s sake”. 

“Are you sure?”, Deku asked, reluctant. 

“Yeah, yeah. I rather you wear my clothes than take you to a party looking like you just got out of the gym”. 

“But… Will your clothes even fit? Because like, you’re taller, and your waist is super thin, and I think my legs are a little bit more, you know, how can I-”

“Oh my god, just try them on! Something has to fit you!”

Izuku lifted his shoulders but went up again. He wasn’t going to argue. 

Katsuki was playing some game on his phone so he took a while to realize that Deku had been upstairs for around 30 minutes already. “Why the fuck is he taking so long?” He looked at the time, it was 6:15. They should leave soon. So he decided to go to his room and check if the boy was still alive or something. 

The door was closed, but he didn’t knock. He had seen Midoriya changing countless times before in the locker room, so there was no need for that. But he was not expecting to find what he found when he stormed in.

Izuku was standing in front of his wardrobe. The middle door. The door no one should open. And he had a huge smile on his face. And worse…

“Why is your phone in your hand?”

“Oh my god, Kacchan!”, he wheezed. “I knew you liked romance and stuff, but this? ”, he pointed to the wardrobe. “This is beyond everything I have ever imagined!”

‘This’ was referring to a great shoujo manga and DVD collection hidden in Bakugou’s closet. Not only that, he had action figures and funko pops as well. But one anime was obviously his favorite, for he had a lot of merch from it.

“And of course Maid-Sama would be your favorite! Look at all of these Misakis, oh my god!”, Deku picked one where she was wearing cat ears along with her maid outfit. 

Bakugou had to hold himself back from screaming at him to ‘be careful’ because that was one of his favorites and if he broke it… “What the hell do you mean with ‘of course’?”

Izuku lifted his eyes to meet his friend’s. “Well… I just don’t think it’s a coincidence that you like Misaki so much, since, you know, you’re… ”, he left the sentence hanging.

“Are you- Are you insinuating something, you little shit?”, he could feel his hands sweating. “Are you saying that I’m-”

“A tsundere? Oh, yeah, for sure. The tsundere of tsunderes”, Izuku ribbed. 

Okay, Bakugou’s had it. “Deku. Put her down”, he clenched his teeth. 

“What?”

“I said. Put. Misaki. Down”. And the Deku did. 

It was an instant response. The moment the figure was safe, Katsuki jumped over Izuku, feral, with his quirk on. But the boy got out of the way just fine. 

“I am so gonna kill you, you piece of shit! Take that back!”, Kacchan screamed after him. 

“What? Am I wrong?”, Izuku laughed as he tried to run away from a very angry Bakugou. “If you keep acting like this, you’ll just prove my point!". 

“I will rip your tongue out first, so that you can never fucking talk again!”

Midoriya got out of the room and ran to the stairs. “It’s no big deal! So what if you like shoujo manga and kin a character?”

“Shut the fuck up!”, Kacchan followed him out of the room. “Die, shitty Deku!”, he yelled, impulsing himself with his quirk after Midoriya, who was almost on the first floor already. He went straight to his back, knocking both of them down. Bakugou was on top of him, on his back, and he grabbed Deku’s arms and held them behind, so he wouldn’t move. 

Izuku laughed at his reaction. “ Shitty Deku? Are you falling back to old habits?”

“Do you really think you’re in position to laugh?”, he growled. That only made the boy laugh more. 

“Why? What are you going to do? Break my arm?”, Izuku teased. 

“There’s nothing holding me back”. 

“Then do it!”, the boy challenged. The grip on his arm got stronger for a minute, but then it loosened up, but Katsuki didn’t let go yet. 

“Where’s your phone?”

“Why?”

“Because I know you took a fucking picture, that’s why!”

“But it’s such a beautiful collection!”

“Izuku!”

“You know I can just take another picture later, right?”

“Where’s. Your. Phone?”

Izuku sighed, still smiling. “My back pocket, if you haven’t broken it.”

Katsuki kept holding Deku’s arms back with only one hand and searched for the phone with the other. He hasn’t broken it. “What’s the password?”

“0914”. 

“September 14th?”, he asked as he searched the gallery of the phone. 

“Licensing Exam”, he simply said. 

“Argh, dreadful day”. He found the gallery and deleted the 18, eighteen , pictures Izuku had taken. 

“Well, it was an important day to me”. 

Deku suddenly felt the grip on his arm get stronger again, and Kacchan leaned down to talk closer to his ear. “Listen, you better not open your mouth about this shit. If you fucking tell anyone, I will murder you. I will carbonize you. People won’t even recognize your body! There will be no DNA left to pass on One for All!”

“Oh my god! I got it! I promise I won’t”. Kacchan shoved his body down. “I won’t!”, and after that, Katsuki let go and got off of him. Midoriya was able to stand again, moving his arms and legs to loosen them after the fall and being pinned to the floor. “But really, you don’t have to be like that, it’s really nothing much”. 

“Yeah, I can see how it’s not much after the whole scene you made”, Kacchan’s face was bright red, impossible to know if it was of anger or embarrassment.

“I didn’t make a scene! I was just teasing you!”, he smiled fondly. “But I’m sorry. I didn’t know where you kept your things and I opened it by accident”. 

There was a moment of hesitation, probably because Katsuki was trying to put his thoughts in order again. “It’s fine”. It wasn’t totally fine yet, but it would be. “Now let’s go, we need to get you in proper clothes, or we will be so fucking late”. 

Izuku was right, almost no pants fit him. His legs were more well built than Katsuki’s, he was shorter, and his waist was not nearly as thin. But they finally found something that fit him. It was a pair of dark jeans too loose on Bakugou so he almost never used it. They had to fold the hem so it wouldn’t be too long. Midoriya was then handed a striped shirt, and a light jeans jacket to wear above his red one. 

“Way, way better than that shit you were wearing”, Kacchan said. For a very small fraction of a second, he looked at Deky and thought he looked hot in his clothes, but he shoved the thought away as quickly as he could. 

“I… have to agree”. On Izuku, the jeans looked… fine. He felt weird, wearing something that tight, but he couldn’t help thinking he liked what he saw in the mirror.

They looked at the time: 6:35. It was finally time to leave. They got all they needed, they turned off all the lights, and headed off to the station.

Chapter Text

The way to Jirou's house was crowded. There were too many people going to festivals, and parties and temples in yukatas and nice clothes. The excitement and expectation surrounding the beginning of a new cycle hovered above everyone. You could notice it in the gesturing hands of young couples walking together, too shy to touch each other yet, in the clinks of glasses inside bars and pubs when people toasted, in the laughter of children running around with fireworks. And most of all, you could see it in Izuku's eyes. 

Katsuki would typically be annoyed by the number of people he had to dodge on the street, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to be that mad when Izuku was pointing to those very same people, making fond comments with those flickering eyes that saw beauty even in the worst of things. He didn't bother actually looking at the things the boy was pointing though, no. His eyes could only focus on two things: where he was going, for he made sure not to bump into anyone; and the two glowing green eyes that reflected the lights of the city decoration.

"We're here," Bakugou said as soon as they reached a big white house, completely decorated with colored Christmas lights. 

"Oh, her house is amazing!" Izuku said, eyes wide with admiration.

"You should see inside! C'mon!" He walked past the front gate, which was open due to the occasion, to the front door. Katsuki rang the doorbell and waited for someone to get the door. It was possible to hear conversation coming from inside. There was loud music too, and dancing lights coming off the windows. A moment passed before someone came up. 

It was no one he knew, so he figured it was one of Jirou’s parents’ friends. “Hello, hello. Come in!” They said. “You must be friends with Kyouka, right? They are all upstairs!”

When they stepped inside, Izuku opened his mouth in awe. "Kacchan, you're right! Her house is so cool!" He said, leaning close to Kacchan's to make himself heard over the music. Katsuki online nodded and kept moving. 

The decoration of the house resembled a lot of Jirou's room in UA. A lot of instruments on the walls, CD's and records on display on glass shelves, and dark walls and furniture. The latter had all been pushed to the side to give people more space, for the music they heard from outside was not coming out of any stereo, it was live. At least 10 people with instruments, playing and singing, while approximately 10 others danced around while drinking and eating. It was the first time either of them had seen something like that. This is fun, Izuku thought. Jirou’s parents greeted them from afar, without interrupting what they were doing. 

"Oi!" Bakugou called by Deku's ear. That made Izuku jump both in surprise and embarrassment, for Katsuki’s breath tickled his neck when he spoke, and his cheeks turned bright red. "You gonna stay there all night?" 

He hadn't even noticed he had stopped walking at some point, amazed by the music. "Oh, sorry!" He shook his head. 

At that, Bakugou gently grabbed Izuku's elbow and pulled him from his position in the middle of the living room. Izuku suddenly became too aware of that touch, which confused him because it's not like it was something new. Kacchan pulled and pushed him around like a dog on a leash. Why was that any different? Why was he suddenly so self conscious about Kacchan? He shook his head, trying to push the feeling away, and allowed himself to be led by Katsuki up the stairs to Jirou's bedroom. 

They stopped by a black wooden door with a switch on the right side. Bakugou flipped it and then Midoriya noticed it was a doorbell. As if sensing the question forming in his head, Kacchan explained that all of the rooms in her house were soundproof because of not only their habit of playing for long periods at weird times but also their sensitive hearing. If it wasn’t like that, there would be no privacy in that house. 

The door opened right after, with Mina appearing on the other side. “Bakugou!! You actually came! I was sure you were going to ditch us!” she said. Then she finally saw his green shadow. “Midoriya? What are you doing here?"

“Kacchan, you didn’t tell them I was coming?” Izuku asked, coming out from behind Katsuki to say hi to her properly. Katsuki did nothing but lift his shoulders. “Hey, Mina!” He said apologetically. “Sorry to come unannounced”.

“Are you kidding?! You’re more than welcome here!” She said, giving him a hug. 

“Is Midoriya here?”, Kaminari’s voice came from inside the room. Then his head popped out the door, his face carrying a light blush. “Oh my god, dude! You’re here!” He jumped on Izuku, putting his legs around the boy’s waist. “I’m so happy you’re here!”

“Hey, Kaminari!” He chuckled, amusingly confused at the boy's enthusiasm. He had to hold Denki's leg so he wouldn’t fall. “Is he okay?” Izuku asked Mina.

“Yeah, he’s fine!” She waved her hand in front of her. “He's just a lightweight!” Then she turned around and walked into the room. Izuku didn't quite understand what she meant by that, but he paid no mind to it. He followed Mina inside with Kaminari still holding him like a koala. 

As soon as he entered the room, he saw Jirou sitting on the floor, with a small bottle of soju in her hand. “Hey, Midoriya! I'm glad you came! And Denki, get off him! Geez!” She said when she saw that scene before her.

And then Deku understood what Mina meant. “Oh my god, are you guys drinking?" He whizzed, as Kaminari let go of him unwillingly following Jirou's orders.

“Yeah, my parents have let me drink since I turned sixteen. But only inside the house”, Kyouka explained. 

“You don’t have to drink if you don’t want to, nerd” Bakugou said. 

His freckled face contorted as he pondered. He probably shouldn't, but... “You know, I think I will actually… give it a try?” He frowned at Kacchan. 

“Why are you looking at me like that? I’m not your mom, remember?” Katsuki smirked while sitting on the floor with his back to the bed. Izuku just rolled his eyes, because Kacchan says that but yells at him if he does anything that he doesn't approve of, more than his own mother does.

Izuku was about to sit on the floor too, but he was afraid to be inconvenient, since there was only space in the middle of the room now, so he walked to the bed and sat on it, with his legs hanging on the left side of Katsuki. 

“Hey, Midoriya, if you are going to drink, I recommend you to at least eat first!” Jirou instructed, handing him a few appetizers. Not even 5 minutes passed until the doorbell rang again, announcing Kirishima and Sero’s arrival. 

They too were surprised by Midoriya’s presence. “Okay, let me get this straight”, Sero said. “You” he pointed at Deku, “came with him” he pointed at Bakugou, “because you invited him out of your own free will?”

Okay, yeah. They were all happy that Midoriya was in there, but they had to admit that it was weird that Bakugou invited him. Even if they knew about how much their friendship had improved, it would still be weird. Because to be fair, if it wasn’t for the circumstances, Katsuki would not have invited Deku. 

And Katsuki didn’t have to look at Izuku to know the boy got uncomfortable by that question. Because yes, he was nosy about everything and he knew too much about everyone, but when it came to him… he never shared. And Bakugou was pretty sure even his own friends didn’t know much about him.  

So he was not going to be the asshole to say ‘actually, he is staying at my place because his father is an abusive piece of shit who decided to show his ass after years of being away’. So he settled for a half-truth. “Yeah, our parents are spending the weekend together, so I asked if he wanted to come”. His friends just stared at him in response. “What? I can be nice!”

 “Sure…” Sero said, sitting down exactly where Deku thought about sitting, not minding being in the middle of the room. “Anyway, moving on. What are we going to do?” 

 “Well,” Jirou started, “Denki brought his switch remotes, so we could play Mario Kart? And who-”

 “Wait a damn second there” Bakugou interrupted. “Second time now”.  

“What?” Jirou asked.

“You calling Pikachu ‘Denki’! Did the date work? Did you actually make the awful decision of dating him?” He sneered. 

“Hey! I’m a great boyfriend so shut up!” Denki pouted, defending himself. And as doing so, answering Bakugou’s question.  

“I can’t believe this!” 

“Oh my god! Congratulations!” Deku said, hitting Bakugou’s left shoulder with his knee in disapproval of his actions. “Stop being so grumpy and be happy for them!”

“Yeah, Bakugou, be happy for us!” Denki pleaded, teasingly, purposefully ignoring how Midoriya’s leg didn’t bother to back away from Bakugou’s shoulder.

“But seriously? How could you not know? Kaminari wouldn’t shut up about it on the group chat!” Mina said, punching Denki on the arm playfully. “And I know you read that shit. You don’t answer, but nothing goes unnoticed from you there”. 

And then he remembered their group chat on fire last weekend, but he didn’t pay any attention to it, he had bigger things going on. He just silenced it for a day, and after he caught up he wasn’t in the mood of going through the old texts. “Ah… It was Christmas, I had other stuff to do!”, he answered. “Still, you’re fucking stupid for dating this stupid.”, Katsuki looked at Jirou then at Kaminari. But their friends noticed in his tone that he wasn’t being that serious, he was indeed happy for them.

 “Thanks!” Kyouka smiled anyway. “ So, as I was saying! Denki brought his switch so we could play Mario Kart?”, she repeated.

 “Oh, I am so in!!”, Izuku said. Bakugou smirked at him. Just then he realized he was almost leaning against Deku’s leg. He instantly got up and started helping Kaminari to set the console ready. 

“Should we turn it into a drinking game?”, Kirishima asked.

 “Absolutely!”, Sero said, distributing the controls.  

“So… Drink if you fall off the lane?”, Eijiro suggested. 

 Agreement sounds started to show up, but Bakugou shut them all. “No way! Pick something else!”

 “Why, are you afraid you're gonna get wasted, bro?”, Denki teased. 

“No, you idiot. I’m afraid Deku isn’t!”, no one understood what he meant. “He doesn’t fall off the lane. Like, never.” They all looked at Izuku, who just smiled confidently. “Maybe drink when you get hit by a power? Any kind” Bakugou suggested.

“I’m fine with that”, Deku said. 

Izuku proved that Bakugou was right and never fell off the lane. At first. Because everyone was aiming things at him. Which meant he was constantly being hit with some power, having to drink right away. And since it was the first time he drank, it didn’t take long for him to start losing his senses and consequently, losing the races. 

After an hour, he couldn’t take it anymore. “Okay, why don’t we change games? You guys literally went for my neck and I think I need a break!” Midoriya laughed. 

 “Maybe you should eat something other than chips.” Sero said.

 “Yeah, I think we all should! I’m also a little dizzy. And Denki looks like he’s about to short circuit!” Jirou said. 

“What? Blasphemy! I completely do not and I will prove it! I’ll go get something for us”, Denki got up. “Bakugou, come and help me!”.

 “Why me, you jerk?”, Katsuki complained, still, he got up. 

 “You’ll make sure he doesn’t screw up!” Jirou said to him, then turned to her boyfriend. “Thank you, babe!”, Kyouka thanked Kaminari as he was opening the door. As soon as she realized what she said, her face got bright red. 

 “Yeah, babe! Thank you!”, Sero, Kirishima and Mina said in unison, before bursting into laughter. Denki winked at them before getting off the room with Bakugou. Jirou followed them out, with the excuse that she needed to use the bathroom.

“Hey, guys”, Sero held the control up, “last game?” Midoriya was about to refuse, but the black-haired guaranteed that it was going to be a friendly game, no drinking. 

So Sero, Kirishima, Mina, and Midoriya played one last time. Rainbow Lane. It was a fun experience to go through that lane with their senses shaken. But as much fun Izuku was having, he would still get really frustrated every time he fell off the track. 

However, even falling, he was able to be in the first place around lap 2 and was maintaining his position until the very end of lap 3. When Mina mercilessly sent a bomb his way, making him lose the race to all three of them. 

 “No!!”, he screamed. “Stupid bomb! C’mon Mina! Really? Really? I thought we were friends!” 

 Bakugou came back to the room at that exact moment, and couldn’t help the smile on his face when he saw Izuku there, just fitting so well in that scenario, playing with his friends. Sure, they were Deku’s friends too, but-

 He felt a pinch in his stomach. Why does this shit keep happening? 

 “Hey, fuckers! Eat!” He said, ignoring that feeling and putting the food on the floor along with the appetizers and the drinks. 

 He didn’t have to ask twice. Everyone jumped over to eat the onigiris, takoyakis, teriyakis, tempuras, and karaages. They ate, and talked, and drank soda and juice to take a break from the alcohol. After a while, when their minds were better and their stomachs were protected, Kirishima suggested that they should play Never Have I Ever. 

 “We fucking live together, what is there to know?”, Bakugou protested. 

 “C’mon, you know that is not true! I’m sure there’s a lot of things to know!”

 “Besides, Midobro is here!”, Denki pointed out. 

 “I’m sure Midoriya will say some point-on things…”, Mina smiled. 

 “I promise I won’t target anyone!” Deku giggled. 

 After a brief conversation, Katsuki finally was sold. “Fine! Okay, let’s do it!” 

They all sat down on the floor this time, forming a circle. It was decided that the game would go clockwise. So Jirou started, for she was the host, then Mina, Sero, Midoriya, Bakugou, Kirishima, and Denki. 

 “Okay… Never have I ever… eaten cat food”, Jirou said. 

 “I am never telling you anything again!”, Denki pouted, then took a sip of his sake. 

 Midoriya traded looks with Bakugou, and their eyes had a conversation: I don’t drink if you don’t drink. They were kids, no one needed to know. 

 “Okay, my turn! Never have I ever… used the same toothbrush as my friend by accident”, Mina grinned. 

 “Why do I feel targeted already?” Kaminari said, then he raised his glass and toasted it with Sero. 

 “Because you are being targeted, my friend”, Sero winkled, then they both drank. “Okay… Hm… Never have I ever done something illegal! And no, us drinking right now does not count”

 Kirishima and Izuku drank. Everyone looked at them already waiting for an explanation. 

 “Well, I guess that… Us rescuing Bakugou was sort of illegal, wasn’t it?”, Kirishima asked Midoriya. 

 “Oh, that’s what you were thinking about?”

 “Yeah! Wait! What were you thinking about?”, Eijiro’s eyes widened up. 

  Everyone else was equally curious to know. Bakugou was afraid that he was thinking about his dad, but his body posture as his friends kept pushing made it clear it wasn’t that. Because it looked like Izuku wanted to say what he did, but there was something holding him back. Fuck it, now he was curious too. 

 “Just say it already! We promise we won’t fucking tell anyone, right?” Bakugou looked around searching for confirmation, which he got. 

 “Okay! Okay! Fine!”, Izuku breathed before continuing. “Please, if this gets out of this room, people could get into real trouble”, his audience nodded. “Okay, so… You remember how Endeavor fought Stain last year?”

 “No, actually I had completely forgotten about that!”, Katsuki rolled his eyes. Izuku lightly pushed him to the side in response. 

 “So yeah… turns out… He didn’t? That was a lie the press let out so that we wouldn’t get in trouble.”

 “We?” Jirou asked. 

 “Yeah, me, Todoroki, and Iida”.

 “Wait… Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Kirishima exhaled. 

 “I guess so!” Deku smiled. “But I think it’s worse than you think. Iida, he- Guys, you never heard this from me! Iida, he went after Stain because he was planning on killing him to avenge his brother”. 

 “WHAT?” Everyone screamed. 

 “Iida? Mr. Does-Everything-By-The-Book Iida? Four-eyes Iida? Class-Representative Iida?”, Bakugou couldn’t believe that the person who picked at him for putting his feet on the table had already attempted murder. 

 “Yeah!”, Izuku giggled. “But then I ran into him by accident, I mean… not quite, but it was a coincidence that we were in the same city. Anyway, when I found him, he’d already been caught by Stain and there was another hero with him. Then I texted my location and luckily Todoroki was around, or else we would have died”. 

 “Holy shit, dude!” Sero exclaimed. 

 “So that day, the ones that handed Stain to the police were us three. But Endeavor took the credit, or else we would be expelled and our tutors punished because we didn’t even have our provisional license yet.”.

 “What the fuck?!” Kaminari laughed. 

 “Oof, it’s good to actually say this!”, Deku sighed. 

 Now that he said what had actually happened that night, he realized how much he wanted to tell people about it. Sure, it was off the book and he had never admitted that but he wanted the credit because he was proud of it. He was proud of that day. Proud of how he and his friends were able to work together and stop the man. Especially proud of how Stain recognized him as a worthy hero. 

 “Damn, Midoriya! Well, I think we all should drink in honor of them!”, Mina said, raising her glass. Everyone else went along, Deku included. 

 “Okay, now it’s my turn” the freckled face grinned. “Never have I ever gotten detention at school”, then he faked a cough and speeded with the rest of the sentence, “because I accidentally destroyed school property trying to get away from a beetle.”

“Wow! Was the second part really necessary, you little shit? You promised you wouldn't target anyone!”, Bakugou yelled at him, mad that Izuku let out that not-so-secret. But he proceeded to drink right after, while everyone was laughing at him. 

He just hoped none of his friends would think too much about it and find out that he is terrified of beetles. The stupid motherfuckers had no sense of direction and you could never know when they would fly straight at you. And they were fucking big and noisy.

 “I’m so glad Midoriya is here!”, Denki wheezed happily. 

 “You know what, you asshole?”, Kacchan barked, “Never have I ever written self-insert fanfiction about the heroes that are actually our teachers today, Smallmight29!”, he stared into Deku’s eyes provocatively. 

 “How do you… Oh my god! Oh my god!”, Izuku’s eyes were filled with realization and amusement as he drank. “You were the one who would leave me hate comments! How did you know it was me?”

 “Found a notebook with your drafts!”, Kacchan raised his shoulders.

 Izuku thought for a second. “Wait, I remember that notebook! I didn’t lose it! One of your stupid friends took it from me!”

 “Details!” Katsuki grinned.

 The rest of the squad was listening with a smile on their faces. No one ever got to see casual Deku x Kacchan interaction like that before. And more than that, they were catching a glimpse of their unspoken past there. 

Seeing the two of them, Kirishima remembered a conversation he had with Kaminari a few weeks ago. “Okay, my turn”, the red-head said. “Never have I ever seen Bakugou cry".

 “What kind of shit is that?”, Katsuki roared. But he was completely ignored since all the eyes went straight to Midoriya. Deku was torn between drinking or not, but something inside him really wanted to drink. It took him a moment to realize it was his pride showing his face once more. He raised his glass and drank.

 "Ha!! I told you he had cried in front of Midoriya already!!", yelled Kaminari. "Pay up, bro!", he said to EIjiro.

 "Dude no way!!” Kiri protested. No one has ever seen Bakugou cry, not even Kirishima, and he would be lying if he didn’t say he was pretty a little upset about this. Because he knew when Katsuki was crying, he even heard him sometimes, and he desperately wanted to help but he always had to stay away. He was never allowed to be a part of those moments. And he was his best friend. They practically dated for 6 months, for fuck’s sake. “They're childhood friends, it must have been then!" 

 "Wait, did you guys bet on this??" Bakugou asked incredulously.

 "My man, you're in denial, see this" Denki said, ignoring Bakugou. "Never have I ever seen Bakugou cry this year". 

 They all looked to see Bakugou and Midoriya's reaction. Katsuki was not looking at Deku, trying to play it cool, but he sensed when Deku started to lift his arm.

 Deku, don't you dare, he thought, as if Izuku would somehow feel the words through the air between them and stop what he was doing. As if. The green-haired boy took another shot, and everyone went crazy.

 "I fucking told you!!" Denki laughed.

 "Oh, you piece of shit! You just had to drink, didn’t you?" Bakugou went over to Izuku, sparks in his hands, threatening to blast his freckled face off. But Deku was laughing, really laughing this time. Kacchan had seen this laugh before, it was rare, yet he'd seen it whenever Izuku let his guards down. But it was new to everyone else. And the moment Bakugou's explosions faded and he started laughing along, they all went silent. 

 It was a beautiful and terrifying thing to watch. 

 Izuku pushed Katsuki up and set himself free. "Fuck, Kacchan, you made me spill all my drink!", He said, looking down at his wet shirt. “Well, it’s your shirt anyway, so joke’s on you!” At least it was sake and it wouldn't stain it. "Jirou, where's the bathroom?" Just then he noticed everyone was looking at them. "What?", he asked.

 "I don't even know anymore", Mina said, eyes wide.”There’s so much going on!” 

 "Hm… okay!?”, he chuckled.  “Jirou? The bathroom?"

 "Ah yes, sorry! Second door to your right"

 As soon as the door closed behind Deku, Sero exclaimed “Did Midoriya just curse?”

 “Yeah! What the hell?”, Jirou agreed that it was really weird. 

 “Bakugou, what did you do to him?”, Kirishima asked. 

“What? I didn’t do anything! That crackhead started cursing all on his own!”, but he didn’t convince anyone. “Look, we grew up together. There’s no fucking reason why just now I would have some effect on him”.

 “Because you two have obviously gotten closer! He’s wearing your clothes, apparently?!”, Mina pointed out. 

 “Yeah, what’s up with that?”, Sero asked.

 “Did you two actually meet so you could get dressed together?”, Denki teased. 

 “Is there anything going on that we should know of?”, Kirishima provoked. 

 “If you all don’t shut the fuck up, you will regret it!” Bakugou said between his teeth, threatening them. 

 “Fine, fine” they gave in, but only because the doorbell rang and Midoriya was back, trying to dry his shirt with toilet paper, completely oblivious of the looks the squad had in their eyes.

 After that, the game restarted and they kept playing for almost forty minutes until they realized what time it was. It was close to midnight already, so they all got out of the room and went to the rooftop of her house so they could see the fireworks when the time came. 

 The cold air was cutting their faces and their lungs, but they were feeling so great that it didn’t bother anyone. Just a few moments more, they kept thinking. To leave it all behind and restart. Just a few moments more. 

 They looked at the hour again. It's time. 

 Ten.

 Nine.

 Eight. 

 Seven.

 Six.

 Five.

 Four.

 Three.

 Two.

 One. 

 “Happy New Year!”

 Finally, that dreadful year had ended. The battle, the fights, the nightmares, the pain, it was all in the past. It was not this year anymore. It was last year. It was not like everything would change and suddenly be better because the number on the calendar switched, but it did feel like that. 

 Kaminari kissed Jirou while the fireworks filled the sky with colors. It was their first time in front of their friends, so they had to hear a few “Woooow” and claps and whistles coming from the others. And they didn’t get annoyed by them. They were smiling in their kiss. 

 Turning his attention away from the couple and back to his friends, Kirishima hugged Mina and spun her around, next was Sero and Midoriya. Then he stopped in front of Bakugou, lifting his eyebrow. 

 “Okay, fine!”, Katsuki said, pulling his friend to a hug, which lasted longer than the other 3 Eijiro gave before. “I’m gonna say it just once, okay?”, Bakugou said quietly in his ear. “Thank you, for everything”. 

 Kirishima hugged him even tighter and smiled. “God, I love it when you’re drunk”

 “Shut up!”

 “Thank you to you too”, he said, letting go and looking into his friend’s eyes. Then he stepped away and jumped over Kaminari. He had to hear Jirou complain a little, but Denki was more than enthusiastic to celebrate with his friend. 

 Bakugou turned to his right and saw Izuku stepping away from Mina and going over to Sero and hugging him too. Then he let go of Hanta and turned at him. He didn’t do much. He didn’t yell ‘Kacchan, we did it! It’s another year!’ like he had many times before, he didn’t try to hug him, or thank him, nothing. 

 From a few meters away, all Izuku did was smile at Bakugou. A fucking genuine smile. The softest smile he had ever been given to. And at that Katsuki didn’t feel a pinch in his stomach, it was a whole punch. He didn’t know what was brighter, the fireworks or Izuku’s stupid face. And in that smile he read so many things: thank you, I’m sorry, I forgive you, I’m happy to be here with you, I want us to live, I need more of this. 

 And the only response Katsuki’s body could give back was the same thing. He meant the same things. So his lips curled up in the most thankful smile he was able to form, and he let it last there for what could have been an eternity, or a second. He didn’t know. Time is weird when you’re drunk. And happy. 

 They stood on the roof until 12:30 am when there were almost no more fireworks in the sky. 

 “Bakugou, are you going home already or…?” Kirishima asked. He knew his friend didn’t last long after 9 pm, so he was guessing that he would leave immediately after midnight. 

 “Hm?”, the blond asked, turning to face Eijiro. He’d had his eyes fixed on something in front of him, so he didn’t quite process the question right away. “Oh, no. I think I can put it up for another hour”, he said. 

 “Cool”

 They went back to Jirou’s room and sat down in the same position they were before. Chatting blissfully. 

 “So, do you guys want to play something again?”, Mina asked. 

“Oh, I literally can’t drink anymore!”, Deku threw his head back.

 “I don’t think I can either!”, Kaminari said. “Feels like I’m short-circuiting!”, he stretched his arms.

 “We just play normal things then, no more drinking games”, Kiri suggested. 

 At that, Denki’s eyes glowed. “Challenge Uno!!!", yelled Kaminari.

 Bakugou rolled his eyes. "No, no way, why the fuck you always want us to play that shitty game?" 

 "Oh, c'mon Bakugou!! It's fun!", Jirou protested.

 “No, it’s not!”

 “That’s because you don’t have the game spirit! You always try to play it like it’s a regular game, so you always lose”.

 "What's Challenge Uno?", asked Midoriya.

 "Oh, my dear man, it's just like regular Uno", started Denki with a mischievous grin "but the plus cards have a challenge! You can buy or do the challenge. Oh, and when we play like this, the number of cards to draw doubles, just to encourage us to do the challenges. Our Kacchan over here always loses because he always refuses to do them".

 “Yeah, because they are stupid!”, Katsuki growled. 

 “Oh c’mon! Don’t be such a coward!”, Deku said. 

 “I’ll play!” Bakugou said instantly, making everyone laugh. 

 “Kacchan, I just wanted to say that from now on, you are forbidden to show up to anything without Midoriya!”, Denki said, then he turned to Deku. “I mean it!”

 “Oh, you piece of-”, Kacchan started to go over Kaminari, but Izuku and Kirishima held him back. “One day, we’re gonna be alone, and then I’ll have a free pass to kill you, you dumb shit!”

 “You know that if Denki wanted to, he could kill you in the blink of an eye, right, Kacchan?”, Izuku said.

 “What?”

 “I’m just saying!”, then he blinked at Denki as if saying ‘I got you’.

 “Argh, whatever. Let’s start this fucking shit”.

 So Jirou stood up and got a set of Uno cards on her study desk. Each person got 7 cards, they turned one in the middle and the game started. Same order as before. 

 The first plus card went to Kirishima: prank call someone or draw two (four, in that case). Since last time he got that card his friends made him call Aizawa, he learned the lesson and decided to draw the cards. Then Sero got it: plank for two minutes. 

 “No! I’m so tired! Why does it have to be a +4 when I have like, three cards? Fuck!”, he complained, before going leaning his weight in his feet and forearms.

 Then Bakugou got one: let the player to your left give you a song to sing. 

 “No!”, he looked at Kirishima. “I’ll buy!” Midoriya coughed something too similar to the word Chicken to be an actual cough. "You're abusing your luck", Bakugou barked at Izuku.

 "Just do it!", Jirou whined. 

 "Argh, fine!! But give me all your phones! Now!" He reached out his hand, like a strict teacher. After he got all the phones away from his dumb friends, he looked at Eijiro again. 

 "You know the song, bro!" 

 Bakugou sighed. He wanted to be kindly unlived right there. Why did I get dragged into this? "The whole song?"

 "No, just until my favorite part!"

 Bakugou coughed. "Seーno! Demo sonnan ja dame, mou sonnanja hora, kokoro wa shinka suru yo, motto motto! Tutu turu ruru, tururu turu turu tuuru, tutu turu, turu turu, tuturu turururu! Bam-Bam!"

 "This is the best moment of my life!", Izuku laughed, with tears in his eyes. 

 "Same!", Sero agreed.

 Denki couldn't even speak. Or breathe. Mina and Jirou were trying to decide if they laughed or contorted with cuteness. Because damn, it was oddly cute to watch Bakugou singing the opening of Bakemonogatari. 

 "I hate you", Bakugou said at Kirishima.

 "You know you don't!" The red-head smiled. 

 The game moved on, and Mina finally won. So they played another round. The first challenge went to Mina: ‘do the worm or draw 2’. She obviously did the challenge, it was so easy for her that it didn’t seem fair. If Midoriya had gotten that one, it would be a disaster. The next one was Sero again, he got the same card as Bakugou, and Midoriya chose the opening to Demon Slayer, just to stick to anime openings. Then it was Denki: let someone do a makeover on you. Needless to say, it was Mina and Jirou’s moment. Mina did the make-up, and Jirou dressed him up. He enjoyed his e-girl look so much, he decided to keep it for the rest of the night. And then, it was Midoriya’s time: Pocky game with the player to your right or draw 4. 

 “Do we have Pocky?”, he asked. 

 Jirou jumped and ran to a drawer on her study desk. “We always have Pocky!”.

 “Are you really gonna do it?”, Bakugou asked him. 

 “Of course! I have only two cards! I’m not buying eight!”, Izuku answered, taking the Pocky from Kyouka’s hand and putting one between his teeth. “Is it okay with you?”, he asked Sero, careful not to break the stick. 

 “Are you kidding? Of course! Just remember, if you lose, you have to buy the cards”, he winked at Deku, and then bit the other side. 

 So they started taking small bites, one after the other. They were getting pretty close. Bakugou was sure Deku would lose. He had to break it and step aside. It was him, after all, the all innocent Midoriya Izuku. He wouldn’t do it. Izuku and Sero got closer. Would he? Did they close their eyes? Fuck no. This is not happening.

 “Okay, that’s enough!”, Bakugou grabbed Izuku by the collar and pulled him back, away from Sero.

 “What the hell, Kacchan?”

 “I’m not gonna let your first kiss happen because of a stupid game! Besides, I’m tired, let’s go home!”, he got up, getting their stuff. 

 “Are you for real, man?”, Sero asked, disappointed. “At least wait until this round ends!”

 “Okay. Deku buys because he lost the challenge” Bakugou started.

 “I didn’t lose shit, you-”

 “Then I play, and then Kirishima, who has claimed Uno, and has a +4 card. So there you go, end of the round and he wins. Happy?”

 “Not really!” Sero protested. 

“Sero, just let him. You know it is past his bedtime, so you won’t be able to argue with him!”, Kirishima teased but acknowledged Katsuki’s feelings at the same time. The man said he would stay for another hour, and it has been around 50 minutes, so he kept his promise. 

 “Fine, fine!”, Sero finally gave in. 

 They all got up to say goodbye properly to Midoriya, while Bakugou had gone ahead and was downstairs already calling a cab. When Izuku got down, he didn’t see the blond boy anywhere. Nor did he see his shoes, which gave him the information that he was already outside. So he put on his shoes on the genkan and left the house. 

 “Did you call the cab?”, he said as soon as he met Kacchan outside. 

 “Yeah. It will be here in 5 minutes”.

 “Good”. It was silent for a few minutes, except for Bakugou’s yawn, before Midoriya spoke again. “It wouldn’t be my first kiss”. 

 “What?”

 “You said you didn’t want my first kiss to be in a stupid game. It wouldn’t be.”

 “Wha- Who the fuck did you kiss?”, Bakugou couldn’t believe what he was listening to. Did he get all protective over nothing?

 “Uraraka”. Katsuki’s jaw fell, and Izuku couldn’t help but laugh at his expression. “We actually dated over the summer”. 

 “You- Oh!”, then the realization hit him. “That is why you started to leave early when we practiced?”

 “Yeah”, he giggled. 

 “Why the hell you didn’t tell me?”

“We were trying to keep it low, there was a lot going on, so we thought this would be the best”. 

 “Yeah, yeah, I get that. But why have you never told me? I told you about Kirishima, you piece of shit”

 “Oh… I just… I have no answer. Sorry!” Deku smiled apologetically.

 “Fucking bastard!”, Bakugou said, pushing him to the side playfully. “So, why the fuck didn’t it work out between you two? You were obviously head over heels for the other from the start!”

 “Hm… I guess that we misunderstood our feelings. She was the first person that ever treated me right, you know? Who was kind to me. She was my first friend.”

 “Ouch!”

 “Don’t even!” Deku warned, smiling. “And to her I… I don’t know. She admired me, I guess and thought she liked me. We were together for a month but something was off. Especially when we kissed. It was weird!”

  “Maybe you two were just bad kissers”. 

 “Haha, funny. No! That wasn’t it. How did you put it? ‘I guess it was more of a platonic thing anyway’? I don’t know for sure if that was it, but it probably was”. 

 “I see. I should’ve let you kiss Soy Sauce then?”, Katsuki raised an eyebrow. 

 “It was not going to be a 'kiss' kiss. But… Yeah, no. You shouldn’t. I got carried away, but I’d probably overthink that later and end up regretting it”. 

 “Fuck yeah, you would”. 

 “Thanks for stopping me”.

 “Yeah, yeah, sure”. Then they saw a car turning the corner of the street. “C’mon, the car’s here”.

 After they got into the car and Bakugou gave the taxi driver the address, Izuku said. “But you did overreact a little”. 

 “Oh, shut the fuck up!”, he growled. 

 He knew he had overreacted, but something inside him was telling him that it was just the right reaction. He looked to his right and saw the street lights reflecting in Izuku’s eyes, as he vividly watched the landscape through the car window. He felt his stomach pinch again, and he blamed it on all the drinking. He rested his head on the car window, trying to make that feeling go away.

Chapter Text

“Stop the car”, Midoriya suddenly alerted. The driver immediately hit the breaks, not understanding what happened. Before he could ask anything, the green-haired boy opened the door of the car and jumped off.  

Bakugou, who was half asleep in the car, jumped in his seat, also really confused. He opened his mouth to say something, but when he looked around he couldn’t see Deku anymore. Shit. 

“Here, keep the change!” He handed the driver a ¥ 5000 bill and left the car to find the drunk freckled face. 

“Deku, where the fuck have you gone?”, he screamed, not giving a shit about the time. 

“I’m right here!!” The voice came in a half-whisper from his left and then he saw why he had stopped the car. They were in front of their old school. 

“What the fuck are you doing there?? That’s trespassing, you idiot! Wanna get arrested? Get your ass over here, now!” Bakugou scolded, getting closer to the gate. From the other side, Izuku grinned and turned his back, walking towards the main building of the school “Oi, Izuku! Come back here! Deku! Argh, you fucking bastard!! I’ll never let you drink again!” He said as he jumped over the school gate after him. 

“C’mon, Kacchan!” Deku’s goofy voice echoed through the empty area. 

He ran past the main building and turned left, disappearing from Katsuki’s sight, who had to quicken his step so he wouldn’t lose Midoriya for too long. He found the green mass of energy heading to what he remembered being the place the gardening club used to keep their tools. Izuku opened the door and got inside, then came back holding a shovel.

“Oh, my fuck! You finally decided to snap and kill me, buring me here with all my sins!?” Kacchan asked.

“Who knows!” He raised both eyebrows in a naughty look and stormed away again. 

“Shitty nerd, can you stop running, for fuck’s sake!” He yelled after him. 

Then he understood where Deku was heading. A dry sakura tree in the middle of the yard, around it, a circle of stones with years painted on each of them. That idiot was going to dig up the time capsule they made in their last year of middle school. “Oi, dumbass, they were supposed to send the letters to us in 10 years!”, he boomed. 

“Yeah, but I don’t know if I’ll be alive in 10 years!” 

You better be, Bakugou wanted to say. There was no way in hell he would let that fucking idiot die so soon. 

“I’m alive now, and I wanna see it!” I t was dark and they could barely see each other’s face, but Katsuki needed no light right now. By the tone of his voice, his mind composed the image of Izuku’s expression with no trouble. It was frightening how easily he could see it. Wide green eyes dancing, like a pleading child, and a half-smile that lifted his cheeks.

“Okay, go ahead!” It was funny that Midoriya had said that Bakugou wasn’t his mom or anything, but somehow, he kept seeking him for approval and permission. 

Izuku started digging. It didn’t take long for him to take a metal box off the hole as it wasn’t really deep in the ground. It looked like an office drawer and it was locked. Midoriya didn't even need to activate his quirk, he just pulled the lock open with no effort. Once again reminding Bakugou of how strong he was, quirk or not. The box was now opened, and Izuku was searching for his letter. Katsuki kept pacing from one side to the other behind him. He was worried that someone would come and they would be charged. Shit, why did he go along with this?

Suddenly, Deku started laughing.

Kacchan learned that drunk Izuku laughed a lot, and was pretty reckless too. Not that he hated that. Maybe he wasn’t never letting him drink again...

"What are you laughing at, nerd?", he asked. Midoriya handed him the letter he was holding. Bakugou had trouble reading in that light, so he grabbed his phone to light up the page. He couldn't believe what he was reading.

" Have you told Kacchan to fuck off already?” He read. “Well not in these words, you haven't ”   laughter taking over him as well. 

“No? Well, then: fuck off, Kacchan!” Deku grinned. 

“Hey don’t…” His words vanished and his eyes widened as he kept reading the letter. “ That- What the? That motherfucker deserves his ba - Holy shit! I really hope our teacher has been fired by now because honestly that bastard also deserves to- Dear fuck! Oh my…" The words didn't sound real. " Please tell me you became a hero out of-  what the fuck? " he was guffawing. " Please tell me you became a hero out of spite! " He continued reading, “ You will prove those idiots wrong. Deku, you... Fuck! And then you go and finish ‘ Oh, and hope you and mom are okay!’ like you haven’t just roasted and threatened everyone!” He had to focus to be able to stop laughing and breathe again. 

"Yeah, we wrote these in the begging of the year, right after you told me to… you know!” Bakugou knew. “Not like it was the worst thing you’ve done to me, but still! I was so mad at you and your stupid friends and those stupid complacent teachers! And All Might had also told me that ‘no, I couldn’t become a hero without a quirk’ and left me on a fucking rooftop. Sure! After the incident with the sludge villain things changed a little, but boy, I was still furious at everything." He chortled. 

"Fuck, Izuku, I really didn't know you!!". Never in his mind, he thought Deku could even think those things! I mean, it made sense that he felt that way, but still. He was always so smiley and optimistic.

"Do you think you do now?" Izuku asked without turning to Katsuki, still looking for something at the time capsule.

And without missing a beat he answered "Well, I'd like to think I do", more honest than the intended. And then, something hit him. Wait… when did he say they wrote the letters?  A sense of alarm started to sound within him.

"A-ha! Found it!" 

"What?" He spied over Izuku's shoulder.

"Your letter!" Kacchan's hands moved so fast Midoriya didn't even notice until he was empty-handed. "Oh my god, what was that?" He looked at the blond boy and something was off. There was no sign in his face that he was laughing his ass off seconds ago. "What is written in there?" He was worried, yet extremely curious.

"It's nothing. I probably asked if I was the no 1 hero, that's all!" He saw a shadow get close to him, grab the letter and go away. It was so fast and his drunk reflexes didn't have time to process. Fucking Deku and his stupid quirk . "Don't fucking read it" he begged.

‘Why not? What could be so embar-” Midoriya opened the envelope and… “Kacchan…”

"I just… Fuck, I had forgotten about this shit! I think I had a nightmare that you had actually... done it.” He lost count of how many times he dreamed that Deku had actually jumped off a roof because of him and all he could do was stare. “ I never meant it, and I regretted saying it the moment it got out of my mouth. I don’t even know what I wrote exactly! Just… And then you even tried to... I- " 

He was looking down, ashamed, so he didn't see Midoriya getting close to him. He just saw when a scarred hand had grabbed his scarf, and pulled him down, so that their eyes were leveled. Izuku's green eyes were dancing, going from his own eyes to his lips. Katsuki froze as he realized what he was about to do. 

"Please don't explode everything", Izuku said with his voice low on his throat. He pulled Kacchan’s scarf a little bit more and raised his face, touching their lips together. For one, two, three, four seconds before Bakugou held control of his own body again.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Kacchan pushed him away, but Deku still had his hands wrapped on the scarf, so he couldn’t send him much far without moving too.  

“What does it look like?” He answered with his head twisted to the side, his left eyebrow raised in a frown, and his lips extended in a half-grin, not understanding where the guts to say or do those things came from. Katsuki wanted to blow his face off because he... He read that letter. He got him by surprise. He invaded his space. And he... looked so… cute, damn it. “Please deactivate your quirk” Izuku smiled fondly “or you’re gonna burn our clothes. Or your clothes, actually.”

He didn't notice it was on. He did what he was asked to, but it was really hard to keep his quirk under control now that his hands were sweating like hell, in the cold to make it worse, and his brain was melting inside his head. Bakugou couldn’t figure out what was happening to him. It’s not like it was his first kiss or whatever. Actually, he wasn’t as near a disaster on his first kiss as he was now.

“Please let go of me.” He planned to say it mad, but he failed. It was pleading, and it almost hurt, because the truth was, he realized, that he didn’t want him to let go. “You will overthink and end up regretting it, remember? You don’t mean to do this.”

“I said I’d regret doing it with Sero. Not you.” Izuku was still in awe with his own courage and initiative. He was so sure of what he was doing, and he didn’t plan to step away unless Kacchan gave him clear signs that he didn’t want that. 

“Deku!” Again, Katsuki planned to be a warning. And again, he failed. 

“Kacchan.” Izuku said, mirroring him. And just then Bakugou realized how breathless he sounded. 

What’s wrong with you, Katsuki? He thought.

This was Deku, after all. Bakugou should’ve been mad. He should’ve been uncomfortable when he touched him. Because how dared Izuku do that? How dare he have that attitude? No. He was just the stupid-nerdy boy he knew his entire goddamn life. This useless- Argh, he couldn't even finish that thought. Izuku was far from being just that to him anymore. They have moved on from it. That noisy green-haired selfless and reckless boy was the one person he could truly be himself around. He hadn’t even had time to build a real wall between them because that emerald mess would just kick the bricks down before the cement was dry. 

Izuku was the one that knew his worst fears, worries, and most embarrassing passions, and he was okay with all that. Izuku knew his heart better than himself sometimes. He didn’t have to hide a part of him out of fear it would scare him away because he had seen him at his worst, at his meanest, and still believed in him. Even after everything that has happened, that stupid freckled face would always go out of his way to help him, and Katsuki, apparently, was very much prone to do the same. Goddamn it , when did he start feeling like this?

“ Ah fuck!! ” He tilted his head back, screaming at the sky. 

There was something about how Izuku loosened his grip on the scarf a little to give Katsuki just enough space, without letting go completely. How he lightly shook his head, smiling, because Bakugou reacted just as he predicted. How he looked at anywhere but at him, to not make him too uncomfortable. How he just stood there, patiently, waiting for him to finish processing his feelings - kind of like he did their entire lives. These little things he did just proved more that Deku knew him. These things that once annoyed him because he hated the fact that someone could read him that well, now made his heart feel bigger in his chest.

He took a deep breath. He had to put his feelings in order. Okay, do you have feelings for Izuku? It sure looks like that, damn it. Are you okay with this? I’m not sure. Do you feel good around him? I still want to punch his face 24/7 but shit… I do. I really do. Do you want to blame it on the alcohol and forget this happened? Fuck no. So you want to keep this going? Argh, I can’t believe this. Yes.

He looked down and Deku, who sensed his movement, looked back at him again. Their gaze met. Red eyes locked into green ones.   

“You sick little bastard”, he breathed, and Izuku beamed at him.“What the fuck did I write, anyway?” Curiosity got the best of Bakugou.

“He better be fine" He quoted. 

“Just that? How do you even know I was talking about you?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Were you not?”

A sight. “Yeah, fine. Busted. I was. Still... That was the big thing that prompted you to kiss me?” He scoffed.

“Among other things!” Deku smiled. “It was kind of nice knowing that you cared, deep down, in your own way. And knowing that I wasn’t completely wrong about you. But you also wrote ‘you better be the number one hero by now, or else I’ll fucking kill you’, which is more like you” Bakugou let out a chuckle. “Of course you would threaten yourself! I’m sure that if in eight years from now you are not the number one, you’ll find a way to create a time machine to go back and redo all your life, just out of spite of not fulfilling your childhood hopes” He sassed. 

“Eight years? If after everything I don’t fucking graduate as the number one hero I will riot” He promised. “And apparently I’m not the only one making things out of spite,” Bakugou grabbed Deku’s chin and lifted it up, then leaned down to be closer to his face, “right, Izuku?”. He said his name tasting every syllable. 

“I learned from the best that it is a good way to get things done, Katsuki”, he mimicked the other’s tone. 

Bakugou had said before that he didn’t like when Midoriya said his name. But something about the way he had said it right there impulsed him to close the gap between them again and kiss him for real this time. Izuku kissed him back right away, letting go of his scarf and putting his arms on his shoulder. Their mouths opened under each other and their breath tickled the other in the face. 

Kissing him was not as weird as he thought it would be. And a lot easier too. With Kirishima, they took at least three make-out sessions to get in sync with each other, but this… was effortless. 

Midoriya had his fingers deep in Bakugou’s hair, which was way softer than it looked. Katsuki took more liberty in the kiss and bit Izuku’s lips, who then pulled his hair in response. And he wasn't expecting his body to betray him as it did. 

He lost control of his quirk for a split of seconds and sparkles danced on his fingers, and he let out a breath on Midoriya’s mouth that didn’t exactly made him proud. But Izuku, who couldn’t help but think it was the cutest shit he’d seen him do so far, smiled on his lips and pushed his body harder against his, so he couldn’t say it was a bad thing. 

Bakugou was exhausted, but he felt like he could do that until morning. However, suddenly he was longing for a body that was no longer close to him, and his lips were left alone. 

“Why the hell did you stop?”, he complained against his own will to the boy getting away from him, back to the dry cherry tree. 

“I think there’s someone here too, listen”, Deku said, quickly trying to bury the violated time capsule back where it was. Bakugou noticed that he was right, there were sounds coming from somewhere around their right. It was more than one person, their voices were high pitched and there were lots of giggles. He relaxed when he realized that it was just students invading their school at night, kind of what they were doing. 

“We’re good, it’s just kids. But yeah, hurry up with that and let’s get out of here” he said. 

After a while, Izuku said “Okay, let’s go!”, got up and walked back to where he was. 

Bakugou looked past him and exclaimed, “A dog buries shit better than you! Geez!”

“Well, I’m in a hurry! Now let’s go!”. 

Izuku held Katsuki’s hand without giving him the chance to back away and pulled him until they were at the gate again. The boys easily jumped to the other side and ran a little bit until they were a block away from the school. There was no one around. Just them and the street lights. After the adrenaline faded, Bakugou took his hand back, which caused Izuku's face to frown a little. But then, the boy only did that to dry it on his pants for a second, and then proceeded to take Deku's hand back. Suddenly, Deku burst into laughter.

"Kacchan, you have to know I don't give a damn about your sweaty hands!" He giggled.

Katsuki could do nothing but stare at him in awe. “I’m such an idiot.” The blond said, squeezing their hands a little. 

“Yeah, you are!” Midoriya answered, still chuckling. 

“No, that's not what I-" He stopped, taking in what Midoriya just said. He had always been self-conscious of his hands, but Izuku didn't care. Of course, he didn't. Wait, that wasn't the point! He shook his head. "I just realized you never laugh”.

“What?” Deku asked, obviously confused. 

“You never laugh. I always got annoyed at you for being so happy and goofy and optimistic even when you were at the bottom but… You’re not like that” He stepped closer to Deku, obligating the boy to look up. “I’ve seen you laugh today more than I saw you laugh in what… years?”

“C’mon, I do it all the time! You just haven’t noticed” He protested, a little flustered by this sudden new Kacchan attitude. 

“No, you don’t. And when you do, it’s that forced fake shit that everyone buys, me included. And I fucking hated it. I hate it. And maybe that’s why I hated it. Because it was acting.”

“Kacchan!” He tried to dismiss it. 

“No! It was. You told me it was! You told me this that day in my room, but I still wasn’t fully aware of it until recently. Until now! Because you’ve been smiling and laughing for real, and I fucking love it”. 

“You what?” He shrieked, his face going completely red.

Bakugou cursed the alcohol in his blood for finding it attractive and for not controlling his words and actions well. He leaned down and kissed Izuku again.  “I didn't say shit”, he said against his lips. He then backed away and took their hands and shoved them into his left pocket. “C’mon, let’s go home.”

Izuku’s brain was still trying to process what just happened. It took him at least a minute to be able to speak again. “You know, I was going to say that I was surprised by you acting all soft and romantic but… Is it really surprising coming from someone who has the complete manga collection of Ouran High School, Lovely Complex, and every single merch of Maid-Sama?” He joked. 

Before he even finished the sentence he could feel his right hand getting warmer and took it as a sign. He set free of Katsuki’s hand and started running. He heard the blasts coming from behind and activated his quirk to go even faster. And every time Kacchan cursed at him, he laughed. He couldn’t help. He was happy.

With their quirks activated, they got to Bakugou’s place in less than 10 minutes. Izuku appreciated that he was wearing Kacchan’s clothes, which made him more careful with the explosions, otherwise, he would have been roasted because he couldn’t escape for too long, and they were both down on the floor.

"I regret giving you this much liberty with me, you asshole. Can't you back to fearing me?" Kacchan said, cleaning the dirt and snow off his clothes.

"I was never afraid of you," Izuku said, doing the same. 

"Yeah, right." Bakugou scoffed, opening the front door and getting in.

As soon as both of them entered the house, the air shifted from playful to... something else. Denser. Izuku’s back got pressed against the door, and air escaped his lungs. He sensed soft yet strong hands against his waist, holding him in place, a careless thumb finding its way to the skin above his hip bones. He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. 

When he opened them again, Bakugou’s face was inches from his, his red eyes scanning his expression. As their gaze met, his mouth twisted in a so familiar smirk. They didn’t look away. One, two, three, four, five seconds and counting. There wasn’t a word shared, but it was like a conversation. The signature to a trade. 

Katsuki leaned in, almost touching their lips together, but waited. He sensed Izuku's body projecting towards his, anticipating a kiss he purposely held back. His freckled face tried to reach up and kiss him, but Bakugou dodged. It felt good to play with him like that and to hear the frustration sounds coming out of Deku’s throat. 

He did that a couple of times, until the poor boy had enough, “You stupid moherfucker, can you stop fucking around and-”, kiss me. But Izuku didn’t need to finish. Bakugou kissed him, pressing his body against his. 

Shit, shit, shit. Katsuki felt an electric shock from his crotch to the rest of the body that obliged him to act. His brain was not in control of him anymore. Shit. He just realized why Deku's cursing bothered him. 

This kiss was different from before. It was frantic, needy. 

This was weird because it wasn’t something they were anticipating for. There had been no yearning before, had it? They didn’t know where all of that came from. And yet, there was a desire burning within both of them that was scary. It quivered their whole body, leading them into doing things they weren’t sure they were supposed to be doing. 

The weirdness of every move, every bold touch, every kiss, lick, bite, flickered at the back of their minds, menacing to sound an alarm for them to stop. But every time it kicked in for one of them, the other chased it away just as instantly. But then, when their hands started to head down a far too intimate space, the alarm sounded in both of them and they came to a halt, panting, breathing the same air. 

“So,” Bakugou breathed, stepping away and taking his shoes off, “I’ll use the shower in my parent's studio, so feel free to use the bathroom!”, he said and went upstairs, not saying anything else.

Midoriya was still catching his breath, planted at the door. 

After controlling his heartbeat to an acceptable rhythm, he did the same. Took his shoes off, went upstairs, got his clothes in his room, and went to the bathroom. He decided that it was too late to worry about a bath, so he followed Kacchan’s idea and only took a quick shower, with cooler water than needed, without washing his hair and brushed his teeth. He got out and went straight to his room again, folding the clothes Bakugou had lent him on a chair to wash them later. 

He got under the covers and tried to sleep, but his mind wouldn’t shut up. He was tired, but he kept replaying the scenes of the day in his head with a goofy smile on his face. He didn’t know how long he was lost in his mind before his door stormed open. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Katsuki raged at the door. 

“Ahn… trying to sleep?” Deku sat in his bed. 

“Look, if you don’t get your ass over there I will murder your”, the blond said before leaving his room just as fast as he got in. 

Deku laughed again. He realized that yes, Kacchan was right. He had laughed more on that day than he has in a while. He just didn’t know if it had been the alcohol or the fact that this week has been a game-changer for him. Or both. 

He got off the bed and followed Bakugou to his room. Katsuki lied on the right side of the bed, on his side, leaving plenty of space for Izuku behind him. The smile on his face wavered as he saw the space in the bed that was now meant for him. Is this really happening?  

“Are you going to stay there all night?” Kacchan pulled him out of his trance. 

Sorry, he was about to say, but something else came out. "Ha, so you’re needy too, Kacchan?”, he teased, hoping that pretending to be confident would actually give him confidence. He walked up to the bed and got under the covers, getting close to Bakugou, who lifted his right arm so that Izuku could hold him. 

“Oh, shut it, Deku”, he hissed, without turning his head to look at him. 

“You know, it’s actually cute when you call me Deku like that”. Fake it until you make it, right? He was a nervous wreck but somehow he was able to keep it together.

“Like what?”, Katsuki intertwined their fingers together. 

“Flustered”, he giggled.

They fell into a silence that for others, it may have looked like they were sleeping, but they weren’t, not yet. If you paid attention, you could see in their breathing and in the way their bodies were still tense as they were still processing the novelty of the situation. 

“Are you still drunk?” Bakugou asked sleepily. 

“No, I don’t think so. You?” His breath tickling Kacchan’s neck. 

“No”.

Silence. It was late and they were tired. Their minds weren’t even working properly now in their drowsy state.

“Izuku?” The voice barely a whisper.

“Hm?” He couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore.

“Say my name”. 

“Why?”

“Just do it”. 

“Katsuki”. 

It was possible to hear the shy smile on Izuku’s lips, and Kacchan couldn’t help but smile himself.

Chapter Text

A pale light came through the blinds of his window, and Katsuki drifted out of his sleep. He didn’t dream about anything, and, despite going to bed so late, he felt rested, and felt nothing of yesterday’s alcohol. He yawned, releasing the tension in his muscles, sat on the bed, and twisted a little to his left to stretch his spine. Then he saw him.

Bakugou Katsuki, you stupid little shit!!

He almost jumped out of bed when he met those green curls and freckled face beside him.  For a moment there he had completely forgotten about how the night had ended, but it all came back to him. 

We cannot trust ourselves when we’re drunk or sleepy, much less if we’re drunk and sleepy, you motherfucker! Goddamnit!

Okay, so maybe he wasn’t so fine with what happened as he thought before he closed his eyes. They have changed positions overnight. Bakugou had taken space all over the bed and Midoriya was sleeping at the edge of it, lying on his stomach, his arms under the pillow.

“Weren’t you okay with it?” Katsuki found out a while ago that when he needed to crack down a situation, making up a whole conversation in his head, where he asked and he answered and pretended he was scolding someone else, was unexpectedly helpful. 

“Well, no. I’m not okay with this!”

“Are you sure? You seemed fine when you asked him to come to your bed.”

“It was a mistake! A huge one!!! Not in a million years would I be okay with waking up in the same bed as Deku !”

“Okay then, so why is your hand on his hair?”

Fuck. 

It had been involuntary. His body had moved without his permission. He retracted his hand out of Deku’s hair and let it hover there, a few centimeters above it. He contracted his fingers as if trying to control the urge he felt to actually touch him again. His breathing was uneven, his heart was racing. This wasn’t right. This couldn’t be right. But… it felt right. Worse than that. It felt comfortable. 

Seeing Izuku breathing like that, peaceful, with his lips parted, revolved something inside him. He was drooling a little. Katsuki side-smiled when he realized that it was probably something he did while sleeping, for he had done it when he fell asleep on the couch earlier that week. And instead of finding it disgusting, he found it extremely adorable. 

Is this really fucking happening to me?  Was he actually into him?

Despite himself, slowly and hesitantly, his fingers started to unfold, gravity acted on his arm and he found himself with his fingers playing with Izuku’s curls again. The softness of his hair was becoming familiar under his touch and even with him using his shampoo for a week now, it still smelled so much like him. 

Midoriya was slowly taken out of his sleep. He sensed something moving. It took him a while to understand what was happening. He had kissed Kacchan last night. Oh god. And he was sleeping in Kacchan’s bed. Oh god! All the things he had said and done yesterday came to him in a rush, embarrassing him, and he feared he would cause Katsuki to flee. But then, he noticed that the boy was already awake, on his right. What he'd sensed moving was his hand, gently strolling through the back of his head, and that calmed him down. 

Yet, Deku didn't dare to open his eyes, knowing that if he did, he'd lose that little moment. But, he didn't need much. Maybe something about the way his breathing changed, or the way his eyes moved underneath his eyelids, he didn't know what, but something gave him away. Bakugou's fight or flight instincts acted up and he instantly stopped what he was doing and shoved Izuku so strongly to the side he almost fell out of the bed.

And there it was. The reaction Izuku was expecting.

"Good, since you're awake get the hell up and help me with breakfast!" he jolted up, sitting on, ready to make his way out, but a muffled annoyed voice that could be translated into HMM hmmmmh mhhmHM caused Katsuki to stop mid-movement.  “What the fuck did you say?”

Bakugou was fleeing. In other circumstances, Deku would let him. But he came too far to back down now. And Izuku was tired, which meant all his filters were still sort of off. So, he took his shot and the words just got out. 

"I said, can you please stop trying to erase every affectionate action with aggression?” Izuku said against the pillow, but a little more audible now.

“I don’t do that!” Bakugou defended, without facing the boy next to him. All the conversation he had with himself, that reasoning, the slow realization of his possible feelings, all of that was becoming a little bit too much. Overwhelming. He felt as if his heart was going out through his mouth and he was getting a bit dizzy. He found a spot in his room, his beanbag, and focused there, to keep the room from spinning. 

“Of course you do!”, Izuku turned his head to the side, staring at Kacchan’s back. “You just did! But I get it, you are touch-starved but hate being touched because basically, every form of physical contact you received through your life was aggressive, or whatever. So you associate touch with aggression and feel ashamed and confused whenever you get or give affection. And you also see affection as a form of weakness.”, he yawned.

“What the fuck”, he whispered. 

“But,” the boy yawned again, “you don’t need to feel like that with me. You can blow my face off whenever you want if that makes you feel better, but I think we both know that's not all you are or have to offer. And I promise I will never tell anyone that you’re the little spoon, so your reputation will be safe”.

“Wow, I did not ask to be roasted at what? Six in the morning?” Bakugou exhaled. He should've said something smarter, fought back somehow. He just... didn't. Besides, he should’ve known better. It was super early and they hadn't slept much, so expecting something other than grouchy Deku was very naive of him.

“Then you shouldn't have woken me up at six in the morning”.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up, asshole.” He whispered. “Jeez, you’re grumpy when you’re tired”.

“Not as near as you are all the time!” Izuku was almost feeling triumphant, he thought he had done it. His poor word choice had somehow dragged Bakugou back to him. But he was wrong.

“How are you so okay with this?” Kacchan asked, still not facing him. His voice was uncertain, low, struggling to get out of his throat. 

“I don’t know. I just am.” And that was the truth. He had never stopped to think about it before, but since last night, since the moment he stepped in closer with the decision to kiss him, since then, it all seemed to make perfect sense.  He stretched one of his hands to touch Bakugou’s, but the moment they touched, the other boy flinched away, as if his touch was electric. Midoriya closed his eyes and breathed deep. “But I understand if you’re not”. 

He waited for an answer, but nothing came, just more silence. So he took it as a sign that he had failed. Izuku rolled to be on his back, sat up, and grabbed the covers ready to put them aside. “I’ll go back to the guest room and we can say this never happened. I’m sorry.” As he shifted his weight to get up a hand grabbed his wrist holding him in place. The air between them stiffened, and they held their breath for a second. Since Bakugou didn’t show any signs of saying anything, Deku tried to force it out “This means that…” he left space for Katsuki to fill in. 

“That you’re staying here” His voice was oddly airy. 

Midoriya allowed himself to relax again, crossing his legs under the blankets and staring at Katsuki’s neck. “I’m sorry for… you know”. 

“Fuck! Stop apologizing! Are you actually sorry? You wish to take it back?”

“No! That’s not what I- Look, you were drunk and I kissed you anyway”.

“So were you!” He replied, still looking at anywhere but Izuku. “And we were practically sober when I dragged you here. So stop that shit”. 

“Well, I was. You, on the other hand, were very much sleepy so it’s almost as if you were drunk”. 

The casualty in his tone, as if implying that what he’d said was obvious to everyone else in the world (which wasn’t), brought a peal of laughter to Kacchan’s chest. Because they have never drunk together, and it’s not common for Bakugou to stay up for long enough for someone to see that as one of his patterns. He slid his left hand further down Izuku’s arm until he had placed it over Izuku’s hand. “I absolutely hate you”. 

The soft giggle that came from his side as saying ‘yeah, I know’ urged him to squeeze his hand, and that simple act dissipated part of the tension in the room, making it easier to breathe.

“Hey, look at me,” Izuku asked after a moment.

“I’m not ready yet. Can you just… talk? ” He pleaded.

Izuku was surprised by the request. And by how vulnerable Katsuki sounded. That was not a side of him he expected to ever see. The awareness that he was getting to see it made him fluster and he got lost in his words. “Sure, yeah… Hm.... I, mhmm, Ah… Well… Lemme see… The hm, ah... ”

“I can’t believe it!” Bakugou scoffed. “You never shut up and the one time I ask you to speak, you’re suddenly out of words?”

I’m sorry!” He wheezed. “My mind is blank right now! And I’m tired, so give me a break! Let's see... I…” Then he laughed and said the first thing that came to his mind. “I burned down the kitchen once!” He received a retiring chuckle along with a squeeze in the hand, their well-known sign for: I heard, keep going. “My mom wasn’t home and I was really hungry, and also for some reason I was craving french fries. I wasn’t in the mood of getting out to get some, so I decided to make it”

“Oh, no. I see where this is going…” Kacchan deadpanned. He didn’t notice that he had moved his eyes to his drums now, a step closer from facing Izuku. 

“Yeah,” a giggle, “I went away for a few seconds to get myself something to drink and then I heard a BOOM. When I turned, the whole pan was on fire. I think I let the flame too high and the oil got too hot”.

“Hahh? You think?”

“Anyway, when I saw that the first thing I thought was ‘ Fuck, I need to put this fire down!’ and I…” He hesitated.

“You didn’t…”

“I did. And it wasn’t even water. I tried to put the fire down with the lemonade I was holding”.

“You're a fucking idiot! You could have gotten seriously hurt by that! What the hell were you thinking!?”

“Well, I... wasn’t?”

Bakugou turned fully exasperated to Midoriya. “Clearly!” He tittered. When he met Deku's eyes for the first time, his mind went blank. They were drowsy, but smiley, and fighting to keep open. Yet, they held so much concern in them. And it was funny how they kept looking up while Deku tried to remember the story. Why was he scared, anyway? 

“I panicked, okay?”, Deku smiled.  

Kacchan had to really focus to be able to speak again. Now aren’t you pathetic, Katsuki?   “Please tell me this happened when we were in middle school!” He slid his palm down his face, and let it rest there.

“It was in May, actually… ” Deku lifted his shoulders, trying to hide his face in embarrassment. 

“May? As in... Last May?” He was incredulous.

Izuku nodded. “Yeah. Now I feel bad for my mom for having to fix the kitchen twice in a year”.

“How can you fight dozens of people who are way stronger than you with a ‘clear’ mind, but lose your shit over burning fries?”

“I don’t know!” And both boys laughed warmly over Deku’s stupidity. But as the awareness of the situation settled in, so did quiet. They were too close, holding hands with their knees touching under the covers. Izuku sensed Katsuki’s hand getting sweatier and knew he had to break the silence again before it got too much. “I guess I should be used to fire right now, don’t know why it startled me that much”.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I have you in my life, which should have made me immune to explosions. And then there’s Todoroki and my dad, and maybe Endeavor by default?”

Bakugou frowned. “Now that you said it… Really, what’s up with you and fire quirk people?”

“It’s not like it’s a personal choice!” Midoriya raised his shoulders, then leaned back and rested his head on the pillow again. 

He stretched his legs and laid on his right side. By doing that, his hand slipped away from Katsuki’s and he took them close to his face. His body language sent a clear message. He wanted to go back to sleep, and Bakugou was more than welcome to do the same.

Kacchan took the offer. He laid down on his left side so they were lying face to face. The bed was big and had plenty of space left, but they were not more than 10 centimeters away, eyes locked on each other. 

Izuku opened up his hand on the space between them in the pillow. An invitation.

“I think my hands are a little bit too sweaty right now,” Bakugou said, sinking half of his face in the pillow, drying his hand in the sheets.

“You know I don’t care” Midoriya smiled fondly in response. 

It took Katsuki three seconds to gather enough courage to bring his hand to Izuku’s and fully hold it. Because this time it was not because they were helping one another. Not because they were comforting each other. Not because they were drunk. Not because they were making out. It was a pure form of affection. Consciously or not, the rest of their bodies followed the example of intimacy and found themselves under the blankets. 

Izuku was right. Twice he had pointed out that Katsuki was touch starved, and this time, it was impossible to deny it. He was delighting in those moments. However, he was still tense. It was rewarding in a very strange way, comforting yet unnerving. He was embarrassed by it. He wanted to blow up the hand against his. He wanted to run away. To bury his face in the dirt. But he couldn’t move. Not when those green eyes were staring into his, making him feel like he was the only damn thing in the world right now. 

It took a while for their breathing and their heartbeats to get in sync. When it happened, Midoriya’s eyes were barely open. Bakugou found it endearing the way he was fighting to keep looking at him. Eventually, Deku lost the fight and closed his eyes.

The blond kept looking at him until Izuku’s breathing set down to a slow pace and his hand set loose on his. The adrenaline in him was starting to wear off, deflecting his fight or flight instincts and he began to pay attention to the coziness of all that. Of the heat of their bodies, so welcome in that cold weather, their legs on top of the other, their fingers barely intertwined. It was incredibly soothing and the more this kept going, the more he got used to it. The more he enjoyed it. The more he wanted to stay like this.

He was asleep before he could notice it. 

----------

“I’m so going to kill you!”, Bakugou screamed, jolting Midoriya out of his sleep. “It’s fucking noon! Our parents will be here soon and I haven’t even started to cook yet!” He stumbled out of bed, dragging the blankets with him in his rush.

“Oh, shit!” Izuku got out of bed just as fast. He knew how mad Mitsuki got when she got home and Kacchan hadn’t done what she’d asked. “I’ll text my mom to see where they are!” He said, running to the guest room to get his phone. 

Katsuki stormed down the stairs and opened up the fridge, analyzing what he had. Carrots, broccoli, red and yellow bell pepper, cucumber, cabbages, tofu, tomatoes, lemon, and oranges. There was no meat off the freezer and he hated unfreezing it on the microwave. He was going to stick with tofu and vegetables.

He took it all off the fridge and placed them on the counter. As he was starting to slice the tofu, Deku stormed into the kitchen. 

“We’re good!” He heaved at the doorway. “We’re good! They’re late! They are about to leave, so they’ll be here in about forty minutes. That’s enough time, right?”

It was visible how Bakugou’s shoulders relaxed. “For what I’m about to do, yeah, it is” He sighed. “You’re goddamn lucky they’re late, or else I would make you pay for all the shit I was gonna have to hear from my mom! You fucker!”, he walked up to him, grabbing his face between his thumb and index finger, squeezing his cheeks, “ Kacchan, it’s too early! Kacchan, let’s sleep more! ”, he raised his voice an octave mocking the boy.  “I’ll never listen to you again!”

“But it was too early!”, Izuku struggled to say with Kacchan’s hand still in his face. “And you should’ve set an alarm, genius!”

“Yeah, yeah!” His eyes jolted to Izuku’s lips, and he almost leaned down. Almost. “Lesson learned” He let go and went back to doing his stuff. 

He sliced the tofu, seasoned it, and let it rest in the fridge to get the flavor. Then it was time to prepare the vegetables. 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Deku asked. 

Bakugou got startled by his voice. He was so focused on what he was doing and Midoriya had been so quiet for the last minutes he forgot he was in the kitchen with him. “No. No fucking way. I already thought you were a bad cook, but now? No. Get the hell out of my kitchen!” He said, putting a pan with water on the stove. 

“Oh, c’mon, I’m not that hopeless! I’ve been helping you the whole week!” He protested. 

“Izuku, I trust you with my life. However, I do not trust you with my kitchen anymore.”

“It was one single accident! C’mon!” 

The boy kept looking at him with puppy eyes. Fine. “If you wanna help so badly, do what you always do. Make us some juice. There’s lemon in the fridge. And also be in charge of flipping the tofu in the sauce, so it can take it in from both sides”, and so Midoriya did. 

When the vegetables were all cooked, Bakugou took the tofu out of the fridge, put a frying pan on the stove, poured ginger oil on the pan, and turned the burner on. When it was hot enough, he first dropped the vegetables in the pan to gild them and give them a little taste. After it was done, he took it all out and placed it on a platter. He set them in the oven at a very low temperature, just to keep them from cooling down. Then he started to seal the tofu until it was golden and slightly crunchy. 

“Go set the table! They will be here soon!” Katsuki ordered, and Midoriya gladly followed his instructions. He was already familiar with where the things belonged in the house, so it was a quick task. 

About ten minutes later, they heard the front door open and a soft voice said “We’re home!”

“Welcome back, old man!” Bakugou replied to his dad. 

“It smells good, is it ready?” Masaru asked, popping his head at the doorway. “Oh, hello, Izuku!” The green-haired boy replied with a smile and a nod, passing through him carrying a jug of lemonade. 

“Yeah, it is” Katsuki took the things he kept on the stove out and took everything to the table in the dining room.

“Izuku?” A voice called from the entrance. 

“Mom!” Midoriya raced to meet her. When he saw her he hugged and spun her in the air, almost hitting Mitsuki who was passing by them. “Oh my! I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay, honey. If only Katsuki was a third to me of what you are with your mother!” She complained loud enough to be heard.

“Well, if only you were a tenth of the way Inko is with him, old hag!” Bakugou yelled from the kitchen.   

The Midoriyas laughed at that. They were already used to their friends’ odd relationship. “How are you, my sweet boy?” Inko said, cupping her son’s face.

“I’m great, mom. And you? Did you enjoy the trip?” He asked, setting free from her and going to the dining room to join everyone who was already at the table. 

“Oh, yes! It was really amazing!” She smiled. “It had been so long since I have seen my friends from college, we had a lot of fun together” She followed him.

“You should do that more often. I love seeing you happy like this!”

“I really should, shouldn’t I?” She sat down. 

“Yes, you should,” Mitsuki intervened. “And you will. I’ll make sure of that”. 

“Well, I suppose I don’t really have a say in this, do I?” Inko asked.

“No!” Mitsuki said then turned to her son, “So brat, what did you two do? You had fun?”

“It was fine.” He said, eyes darting away. 

“That’s all you have to say?” Mitsuki knew her son. She saw how he was trying to be a little bit more chill than usual and how he didn’t make eye contact with her when he answered. “Nothing interesting happened?” She raised an eyebrow, now noticing that Izuku was also staring really hard at his food.

“No! I said it was fine!” He said louder. 

“Katsuki, please don’t raise your voice like that. She is just asking” His father reprimanded.

“So, mom, how are things at the hotel?” Izuku asked, crossing conversations at the table, trying to deflect the subject. 

“Oh, it is wonderful”, Inko said, taking the hint. “It is really bad circumstances, but I feel as if I’m on vacation. They have a spa, and they are not charging me for anything, not even room service”.

“I’m so happy to hear that! I’ll text All Might again later to thank him”. 

“Oh, Izuku, I think after the number of times I said thank you to him this week, another one coming from you will only not be necessary” She laughed. “And sweety, the room he got me is big enough for the both of us, so you can stay with me if you want”, she offered. Of course, that wasn’t the real reason she was asking. But her son was fine now, he had been taken care of, so he wouldn’t neglect himself over her anymore. 

And Izuku thought about it. He thought about how she liked having him around, and how he liked being with her, especially now that he lived in the dorms. He thought about how he had already disturbed the Bakugou family for a whole week, and how he made Kacchan adapt to his presence there. He thought about leaving and letting them go back to their lives again, but when he looked at the blond boy sitting in front of him, he made up his mind. 

For his red eyes were saying what he too was thinking. After what they’ve been through that week, and after what happened yesterday and this morning, leaving now could break the rhythm they finally found. 

For his red eyes were saying: Don’t you dare leave. 

“Thanks, mom. But I’ll stay here” Then he turned to Mitsuki and Masaru, “if that’s okay with you, of course!”

“Of course it is! I just don’t understand why you would rather stay here with Katsuki than with your mother in a five-star-hotel” Mitsuki said. 

But she was just teasing, because she had noticed how the two boys looked at each other just then. And she wasn’t silly, she knew how much Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship had improved over the year. And she wasn’t blind to how they acted around one another the past week. Masaru is going to own me a very fancy dinner. Because maybe, just maybe, they have made a bet on it. 

“Okay, enough chatting, the food is probably cold already!”, Masaru said. “Let’s eat!”

“Let’s eat!”, they all repeated. 

Then they ate, and drank, and talked, resembling the small chosen family they were years ago. After lunch, Mitsuki did the favor to embarrass both Katsuki and Izuku with their pictures of when they were little, for it has been so long since Inko last went there that this was bound to happen sooner or later. 

Later at night, Inko said goodbye to her son and to everyone else, but when a car stopped by the house to take her, it wasn’t a cab. Midoriya could swear he saw All Might in the car, but he wasn’t so sure. 

“Hey”, Bakugou called from the living room, getting up from the couch. “I’m gonna help my parents tidy everything up, so if you wanna go and take a bath first, go ahead”.

“Are you sure? Don’t you want me to help?”

“Nerd, give up on doing things when my mom is here! That old hag treats you like you’re made of porcelain! Just go” he pointed to the stairs. 

“Fair enough! I’m going then!” But before he could take the first step up, Kacchan called again in a lower voice. 

“Oi, nerd.”

“Yeah?” Izuku said, equally low. 

“Go to my room after,” he said. Then quickly disappeared to the kitchen.

Chapter Text

Oh my fuck…  

Yesterday and earlier that morning Deku was drunk and sleepy, and that made him a little bolder than usual. But now? He wasn’t sure if he had enough courage to just go and lie down in the same bed as Kacchan deliberately. Or just be in the same room to… To what?

After he bathed, he got dressed and went to his room to write down some things in his notebook. He needed to put his thoughts and feelings in order. His calligraphy was unsteady, and he committed too many errors. He was having trouble understanding what he wanted. 

If Kacchan had asked him to his room again, then does it mean he wants to kiss him again? Did he not want it to be a one-time thing? And what about himself? Did he want this to continue? Sure, he always pursued Kacchan and admired him, and wanted nothing more in the universe than to be on good terms with him, to be his friend. But when did he start wanting more? 

When he dated Ochako, he always felt as if something was missing, and after that incident in his internship, he started to question his sexuality altogether. But then again, he never felt really attracted to any man as well. He never felt the need to be close to anyone else but… But Kacchan. Was he… Was he in love with Katsuki all along? 

Wait, what? 

Izuku stared at the page. The words in love popped out of the page as if it was written in neon ink. When did that pop into his head? Because, yes, okay. He knew he loved Kacchan. He had done that all his life. He loved him, and admired him, and cherished him. That was no surprise. But being in love? That was different. He closed the notebook instantly and tossed it aside, fearing what other words might come out. Not that he believed one could be worse. Or better, depending on how you look at it. He still didn’t know. 

He forced himself up and heaved back to Bakugou’s room. He had been in that room for 7 days in a row now, but when he entered it, he felt as if he was somewhere strange, where he was not supposed to be. He stared at the bed, trying to get his feet to walk there, but it was too daring of a move. Instead, he was able to drag himself to the window, right above the black beanbag where he had stayed for hours a week ago. 

He moved the curtains to the side and was amazed by a view he didn’t remember seeing.  Right! Bakugou’s house was on the top of a hill. He had forgotten that because the entrance street was leveled. It was beautiful. He could see rows of houses down a hill, and a wooded street, all decorated with Christmas lights.

He opened the window and breathed the cold air coming from outside. It didn’t bother him, instead, it helped his heart to slow down a little, and his mind to be a little less noisy. The sky was clear, and when he met the stars above, they seemed to converse with him, not in words, but it was as if they were telling him it was okay to feel the way he was feeling.

“Oh, so you are here!” A husky voice said, surprising Izuku in the middle of his cosmic conversation. “I came here to grab my stuff before and didn’t see you. I was ready to drag you by the ears.” Bakugou joked. 

“I was writing.” 

“Of course you were.” He came to join him at the window, crossing his arms on the parapet. 

“I don’t think I have ever looked through your window.” Midoriya's voice wavered while he appreciated the view in front of him. “It’s nice.”

“Yeah, it is” Bakugou risked a glance at the boy next to him. 

Bakugou too had made his share of thinking while they were apart in the last hour. He was still confused at why he was longing so much for coming back to his room. Why he couldn't stop gravitating around Izuku all day, wanting to be near him. Sitting next to him when his mother brought old pictures for them to look at. To touch his feet accidentally under the kotatsu as they drank coffee. To touch his waist when he needed to pass by him. 

He had never felt that need before, but it was there, hovering over him like a vulture. He wanted to kill Deku for making him realize how much he needed physical touch. And worse, how much he needed to be touched by him and to touch him.

Izuku’s face was easy to read. He was chewing his inner lip, eyes darting from trees to houses, to stars, to lights. He was restless and nervous, and, despite himself, Katsuki found it endearing. The need to get closer to him got stronger and he moved without realizing it. But Deku noticed, and he turned to look at him with his cheeks painted red underneath his freckles.

“You need to stop doing this, idiot.” Katsuki was close enough for Izuku to sense his red mint breath. 

“What?” He made enough effort to look into Kacchan’s eyes. And an even bigger one to keep looking in it. 

“You help me work something out, and then you start overthinking about the same thing. You said you wouldn’t do that”

“I said I wasn’t going to regret it! Didn’t say a thing about overthinking!”

“Fair enough” he played, getting closer. “So you really don’t regret it?”

“No! I’ve said it! It’s just…” he left the sentence unfinished, losing himself when his eyes darted to Katsuki’s lips. 

The action didn’t go unnoticed. Bakugou figured they could keep talking later. “May I?” he asked, leaning down already, still looking into Deku’s eyes, tracking its every move, every nuance, delighting in how they told him everything he needed to know.

“Go ahead!” Midoriya breathed, closing his eyes as soon as their nose touched. 

When those words were spoken, every hesitation from both parts disappeared. Bakugou took the boy’s face with both hands and pressed his lips against his. In return, Izuku put his arms around his waist, pulling him closer. It was softer than the day before. It was conscious. 

As the minutes passed by their minds were getting clear of nothing but the other. There was nothing but Deku’s lips, Kacchan’s waist, Izuku’s hair, Katsuki’s hands. No difficult past, no rivalry, no bullying, no enemies, no war, no deaths, no troubles. Just them.

In a clumsy move, they tripped on each other's feet and fell on the bean bag. It didn’t matter. Katsuki fell on his back with Izuku on top of him, and they took it as a divine encouragement. 

Their hands moved, rediscovering the bodies they knew well. Bakugou’s head jolted back, giving enough space for Deku to kiss his neck, and to bite his earlobe, and then kiss his neck again, and his collarbone. Kacchan’s hand started to find its way under Izuku’s shirt, and he started tracing his spine up until his shoulder blades, which provoked small shivers in his body. Their lips met again, and their bodies started to move on their own, and they finally discovered how pleasure looked on each other's faces. 

Bakugou pulled Izuku closer to him, as close as he could, but it didn’t feel enough. There it was that need again. Multiplied by thousands. He wanted more. He got tired of Deku’s stupid shirt being on the way and took it off, tossing it to the side. When he did, he stared at his body for half a second. It’s not like he hasn't seen it, it was just that he has never seen it. He felt the blood rush between his tights, and he pushed himself up to kiss his chest, feeling his abdomen beneath his fingertips, drinking him in.

Izuku couldn’t help a soft moan to escape his throat. Trying to produce the same sound again, Kacchan lightly sucked the skin under his lips. Deku clenched his fist on Katsuki’s hair in response, pulling his head slightly back to be able to kiss him again, taking the chance to bite his lips. 

They didn’t want that to end. They wanted more. They needed it. But the same alarm that sounded last night was starting to sound once more, quietly at first, but it got louder at every move. 

Midoriya took off Bakugou’s shirt and pushed him back, leaning in to kiss the scars on his chest from when he jumped to save his life, and he started to go further down at every kiss. Until he reached the waist of his underpants. Then the alarm was louder than his own will and he stopped suddenly, sitting on his knees. Katsuki didn’t complain. The alarm had also rung to him. 

The boys were panting, sweating even with the freezing air that came through the window. 

“I-” Izuku started. He could feel the blood rushing through his veins, and the gathering feeling of dissatisfaction pulsing within him. “I think I need the bathroom.” He jolted up, grabbed his shirt on the floor, and headed out. 

“Yeah, sure!” Kacchan said, watching as the boy left his room. Soon as Deku left, he let his body sink in the beanbag. “Fuck” He heaved. He looked down. I need to take care of that. 

Izuku came to the room a few minutes later, walking shyly into the room. He noticed that Katsuki had already closed the window, and was waiting for him on the bed, sitting on the right edge.

“So,” Deku said when he sat down next to him, “do you need to…?”

“No, I- I already- Ah-” He stammered. “Please, don’t make me finish this sentence.”

“No, yeah, I got it.” 

An awkward silence lingered above them. 

“So...” Bakugou started. 

“So...” Deku didn’t know what else to say. 

“That happened.”

“Yep.”

They decided to check on each other, unknowingly, at the same time. When their eyes met, they froze. 

“We don’t need to be... “ Izuku wasn’t quite sure on how to finish. 

“Weird about that?” 

“Yeah.”

“I don’t think so. We’re teenagers, that’s normal.”

“That’s not quite what I meant. I mean… It’s you and me, right? We’ve known each other since forever, and I don’t know! You’ve just admitted to being my friend! And I kissed you for the first time yesterday, still can't believe I did that! I didn’t even know what I was doing. It’s not that I regret it, no, I've said it, but… Was it too fast? I should’ve held back? I don’t know! I-”

“Izuku!” Katsuki interrupted him, putting a hand on his shoulder and pushing it lightly, inducing Deku to look at him. “Stop overthinking!”

“I don’t know another way of thinking!” He said nervously.

“Then don’t think!” Bakugou smirked and leaned in to give him a quick kiss again. He joked yesterday that Deku might be a bad kisser. But Oh boy, I was wrong. Actually, not sure if he was a good kisser, he just… fit his kiss. 

“That’s not helping!” Izuku laughed on his lips. 

“Fine, fine!” He backed up. “Why do you always have to talk down your feelings? Geez!”

“It’s better than shoving my feelings down your throat while we fight” He laughed, and Bakugou punched him in the arm.

“Ha ha, very funny!” They looked at each other for a second, until they were ready. “Okay, god fuckin’ damnit! Let’s talk.”

Not a beat was missed. “Was it too fast?”

“It was fast. But I don’t think it was too fast. I guess it made sense.”

“Really? Why?”

“You said it yourself. We’ve known each other since forever, and we were already at this level of intimacy that was… weird. I know basically everything about you, and you know almost everything about me. Maybe if things had happened differently, like us realizing our feelings first, and then waiting for someone to confess, and bla bla bla, maybe then things would happen slower. But you took a shortcut, so…” He lifted his eyebrows, mischievously. 

Izuku just nodded while processing what he’d said. Lastly, he said, “So… That means you have feelings for me?”, teasing.

“Yeah, I do! A lot of them!” Bakugou got in the game. “Hate, disappointment, embarrassment, bitterness, resentment…”

“Kacchan!” Deku whined.

He chuckled in response. “It’s enough talking for today, jerk.”

They were silent, but this time it was comfortable. Katsuki signed with the head to make Izuku lie down next to him, and he did. He got under the covers and rested his head on the pillow next to his… what? What were they right now?

They’d never thought they would ever be like that, yet there they were. It was impossible to name what they were feeling. They were scared, embarrassed, yet they felt brave and assured. 

Sleepiness started to take over them, and, against all odds, Izuku gave in to it first. Part of him wanted to be awake to prolong this moment, and the other wanted to be drifted away for he hasn’t been this relaxed since forever. The second part was winning.

Bakugou, however tired, was also breezy. And like that morning, kept earnestly looking at Izuku while he lost the war to his eyelids. His eyes then danced aimlessly to look at the rest of him, until it rested on Deku’s hands. It had too many scars. His arms had too many proofs of all his fights. The biggest one from the day he was captured. He started tracing each and every one.

“What are you doing?” A sleepy and tired voice whispered.

“Nothing.”

“It's not nothing. You're tracing my scars. Why?”

Bakugou felt weird that he was caught. He retrieved his arm and held the pillow. “Weren’t you falling asleep?” 

“Hey, I didn’t ask you to stop.” Izuku pouted. “It was nice...” Bakugou had to hold the urge to go back to it, but his pride spoke louder, so he didn’t. Deku opened his eyes and longed at his face. “What are you thinking about?” 

Katsuki sighed. “Didn’t I tell you ‘enough talking for today'?”

“I mean, yeah. But I can read you. There’s something on your mind. And I'm curious.”

He was about to say ‘nothing’ again. But Deku took his hand again and his eyes - fucking stupid cute sleepy eyes - were focused on his. 

He was about to say ‘nothing’ again. But something different came out. The truth, of what was going inside his head, came out. And at that moment he realized that he was absolutely fucked. He had no walls up anymore. The moment he decided he wanted to be next to him like that again was the moment he made the unconscious decision to be vulnerable. And honestly, he didn’t feel like turning back now. As if he could. 

He sighed in defeat before speaking. “You always say that you admire me, and all that shit, but I don’t think I ever said this to your face: you’re fucking amazing. And I may or may not look up to you too”. That made Izuku’s eye dance. Fuck, he loved when they danced like that, especially if it was because of him. Katsuki grinned at the expression on his face. “I mean it. I know you somehow get second-guessing about One for All, but honestly I can’t think of a better person to have it”.

Midoriya’s cheeks rose up to his eyes, which carried happy tears at the corner. He bit the inner skin of his bottom lip to keep him from crying. “Oh my, you got too soft too fast” he breathed. 

“Yeah, well, I never do anything halfway, idiot.” He said without thinking. “Come here!” he rolled his eyes and opened his arms, offering his chest so Izuku would lie on it. And then he realized that, yeah , he never does things halfway. He doesn’t like being all cheesy and all that shit. He despised it, even. However! Izuku liked it. And he was the one who could make Izuku’s face make those expressions. They were for him and him only. He couldn’t help the grin on his face. 

Izuku, of course, took the offer. He’s soft. He thought when he rested his head on Bakugou’s chest. He breathed Katsuki in, and then he bade “Good night, Kacchan”.

A hand went to his hair and messed it up, then the rusky voice replied, “Good night, nerd.”

When they woke up the next morning, Izuku again on the edge of the bed and Katsuki spread all over it, there was no panic. Even before Bakugou opened his eyes he was fully aware of the other’s presence in his room. But he was still him, and Izuku was so close to the edge...

“Ahh! What the hell??” Deku screamed, confused when he was awakened by the sound of his own body falling into the ground. “Why would you do that? Asshole!”

“Good morning to you too.” He grinned, getting up. 

“I think I’d rather you waking me up screaming. Geez!”

“Stop complaining! If you want me to stop, wake up before me then.” 

They started making the bed together. 

“You talk as if I can’t!” 

“Not without an alarm, you can’t” 

“Oh, fuck off!”

Then they heard a knock on the door. Before they could answer the door opened right behind it.

“Katsuki, is everything okay? I heard screaming coming from…” And then Masaru’s eyes landed on the boy making the bed with his son. “Oh, hi Izuku. Yeah. I thought Katsuki sounded different. So everything is fine?”

“Yeah, old man, we’re fine, now get the fuck out! I didn’t say you could come in!” Katsuki barked.

“Right, sorry. Good morning!” Masaru smiled, and left the room, closing the door once again. 

Izuku was frozen during all that conversation. He couldn’t process what happened. All that “no awkwardness” they had when they woke up, vush , vanished. He wanted to be buried alive. He couldn’t believe that- A pillow hit his face. What?

“Oi!” Kacchan called. “Fucking hell, you should see your face right now!” He laughed. “You look like he just caught us mid-sex!”

“God, if that ever happens I am vanishing from the face of the earth!” Izuku kneeled and buried his face on the bed. “Can you bring me breakfast up here? I think I might die if I go down.”

Katsuki laughed harder. “No fucking way, get up!”

“No.”

“Izuku, if you’re embarrassed that they know about us, you’re late. My mom caught it while we were having dinner and she kept teasing us about it all night yesterday. You were just too dumb to catch it.”

“She was??” Deku looked at him, only to have the blond nod, and then he howled into the bed.

“When you came upstairs it got so damn worse! You know, they fucking betted on it. My mom won, of course. My dad ‘didn’t think you’d fall for the same trap he did’. His words, not mine!”

Another howl. 

“Oh my fuck, quit being dramatic! Now get your ass downstairs, c’mon.” Katsuki said, holding the collar of Deku’s shirt, obliging him to get up and pushing him in front of him. 

Izuku had to gather more courage to face Mitsuki and Masaru in the kitchen than when he was about to get into a fight. He spent all breakfast so low in his chair that he was almost disappearing under the table. But thankfully, no one said anything. 

But... Well, he celebrated too fast. 

While he was helping Kacchan with the dishes, Mitsuki stopped by the kitchen door and stared at them for a few seconds. Then she smiled and went to the entrance. She put on her shoes and followed Masaru outside. But before she left, she yelled to the boys. 

“Katsuki, don’t forget that even if you’re both boys, you have to wear a condom! Bye, sweethearts!” And she was too grinny to care about the noise of glass breaking on the floor. 

“What the fuck!!” Bakugou yelled in the kitchen, not sure if it was at his mom or at Izuku for dropping a glass.

“Sorry! Oh my god, I’m sorry! I- I didn’t-” Deku was so flustered trying to get the glass shards from the floor that he ended up cutting himself. “Fuck!” But he kept going, ignoring the blood coming out of his hand. 

“Damn it, Deku… Stop, stop. Stop! ” He held Izuku's wrist firmly, laughing. “Can you fucking relax?”

“Did you listen to-”

“She is just teasing! You know her! You should have seen the things she used to say to Shitty Hair.”

“Oh shit, is this going to be a normal thing?”

“Yeah, so put yourself together, nerd.”

“Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing! Even though you actually did fuck shit up this time.” He said, looking at the glass shard, along with red dots on the floor. 

“Sorry…” 

“Go take care of that” Bakugou signaled to his hand. “I’ll finish this. Useless Deku.”

Izuku let out a chuckle and went upstairs to clean the cut and stop the bleeding. 

The rest of the day went like the others had gone. They went for a run, took a shower, watched something (one of Kacchan’s shoujo anime Deku insisted on watching because he had never heard of), made lunch, ate, did the dishes, went back to the anime, played video games, prepared dinner, waited for Katsuki’s parents, ate, and prepared for bed. 

The difference was that now they had small new things to add to their pattern. Like Izuku putting his feet over Katsuki’s leg while watching tv. Bakugou resting his arms on Midoriya’s shoulder, who sat between his legs, while they were playing, only to make it harder for him. And, at night, Izuku going back not to the bedroom down the hall, but to Kacchan’s, and made out with him before sleeping. 

This new pattern would repeat itself for one more week until it was time for them to go back to UA. 

But for now, it was still their last night together, for tomorrow they would return to school.

The boys were playing a dating game, also one of Bakugou’s hidden treasures that he kept in his shoujo collection that Deku insisted on getting to know. 

“No! Why is she crying?” Deku asked, desperate. 

“Because you were an asshole!” Scoffed Bakugou.

“No, I wasn’t!”

“I’m surprised Uraraka lasted a whole month with you if this is how you treat girls on dates!”

“How can you be good at this? You have zero social skills!” Izuku teased, trying to fix the mess he made on the game.

“Fucking blasphemy! I have social skills! I just choose not to use them! And besides, I can be romantic. If I want to.” Bakugou said, blinking one eye. 

“Surprisingly!” Midoriya had to agree. This past week, Kacchan would embarrass him, and surprise him, and stir emotions in him all the time, something he never thought he would be able to do. “Kacchan, I’m making this worse, how do I fix it?”

“Not sure you have hope, but okay, I’ll guide you.” 

After a while, maybe inspired by the video game, Izuku asked. “What will happen?”

“What do you mean?”

“When we go back. Tomorrow. What will happen?”

“Hm… Probably we’ll just settle down in the dorms and then eat something in the common room? If Kirishima doesn’t pull anything off.” Katsuki said, now fully playing the game instead of Deku.

“No! I mean… with us!” Deku was looking at his fidgeting fingers. He didn’t know if they were dating, or if this would end as soon as they put their feet back in UA. They haven't really talked about it anymore. 

“Oh, right. Wait.” He paused the game. “I can only focus on one relationship at a time. Go on. Talk your feelings or whatever.” Katsuki rolled his eyes.

“I- I don’t have much to talk. I’m just wondering if we’re… something. If you want to keep this going or-”

“Of course I do. Thought it was being damn obvious by now? Are you really that fucking stupid?” Bakugou grabbed his head and rubbed his knuckles on his scalp. “You have to play more of these games. Geez.” He threw the remote at Deku.

“But… Will we tell people?”

“Hm…” He pondered. “No? I mean, it’s pretty new for us, too. We should-”

“No, yeah, I agree.” Midoriya interrupted. "I didn't even tell anyone about Uraraka so, yeah, I agree."

“Cool.”

“Cool.” 

“Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“We’ll figure shit as we go, okay, nerd? Don’t worry.”

“Okay.”

Chapter Text

“Shit!!! What the fuck is happening, round face??” Everyone in class 2A asked themselves the same question. Bakugou was knocked down by some invisible force, pressed to the ground as if a giant had sat on him, keeping him to the ground. 

It had been two weeks since they’d gone back to UA, and everyone was filled up with some sort of energy they couldn’t quite understand. Maybe it was this idea that because the calendar flipped things would change. Maybe it was because some things did change for some people. Whatever it was, class 2A was different, more focused, and more energetic. 

“Yes! Yes, I did it!!” Ochako celebrated, swallowing the acid fluid that dared to come up her throat. “You were right, Deku!” She turned smiling to her friend, who held his hand on a fist, celebrating for her too. The pressure was released off Bakugou and he was able to get up again. 

“Uraraka, I must admit I am just as confused as your classmates. What just happened?” Aizawa came walking to meet them at the center of the training center. 

“Well, Deku said something that really intrigued me a few weeks ago. He asked if my power was really just to take the gravity out of things, or if I could actually manipulate it at my will. And I’ve been thinking about it ever since and trying to focus on increasing the gravity instead. I think it worked!” She explained, smiling. 

“Well, shit! Don’t you think you got a little overpowered?” Bakugou grinned. 

“Thanks!” Uraraka beamed at him. She knew it was a compliment. 

“Hm, that is indeed very interesting. I am glad you were able to discover this while you’re a student! We’ll work on this new ability from now on. And talk to me later, we might need to update your quirk register.” Aizawa pet her on the head. “Well, time is up.” He looked to the rest of their students. “Class dismissed. See you all tomorrow!”

Everyone packed their stuff and exited the gym. They all headed to the cafeteria to have lunch before some went to some optative classes and others went to their internship. 

Deku was seated at the table with Uraraka, Tsuyu, and Iida, talking excitedly about something Bakugou couldn’t understand. By the way, Uraraka was grinning they were probably talking about her new cool ability. It had to be Deku to suggest something like that, that stupid smart-ass-

“You’re staring at him a lot these days.”

“What the fuck!?” Bakugou exclaimed louder than he should, being actually startled by Todoroki who got behind him, holding a tray of food. 

“I said: You are staring at him a lot these days. Is everything okay?” The boy asked, calmly.

“What? No, I'm not! And why wouldn’t it be?” Bakugou roared. “And even if something was wrong, it wouldn’t be of your fucking business.”

“The way you treat your friends is really touchy.”

“I’m not your friend, Half’n’half.” He said without really looking at him. His eyes were in the crowd as he was trying to find Kirishima and his friends. 

“Okay. Keep telling yourself that.” Todoroki's lips dared to form a smile but didn’t. It pissed Bakugou off just how much that boy could get on his nerves with a plain face and voice like that. “But everything is really okay? He’s not secretly the target of a whole villain organization again, is he?”

“Geez, you really haven’t gotten over us hiding one for all from you, are you?” Bakugou finally spotted the ketchup and mustard duo and started walking to them. Unfortunately, they were a few tables behind Deku and his friends. Meaning, Todoroki followed him. 

“We’re a trio, I should have known.” He almost pouted, ignoring when Bakugou replied that they ‘were not a fucking trio’. “But anyway, even if nothing is wrong , something is off. At least, different.” 

“Goddamnit, can’t you mind your fucking business?” 

“You two are my best friends! Therefore, my business!” He said. 

“I’m gonna murder you someday,” Bakugou growled under his breath.

“Like to see you try!”

Thank fuck they had just reached Midoriya’s table so Bakugou could get rid of that stupid Canadian flag. Asshole . He didn’t even give him an answer, he just kept walking and lifted his right hand, showing his middle finger. 

Midoriya had caught a glimpse of the last words Todoroki and Bakugou shared and looked over him as he passed, keeping the eye on him until he was seated. Then Katsuki finally looked over, and Izuku raised an eyebrow, in a question. The blond just rolled his eyes, dismissing it. 

“Midoriya!” Todoroki called. 

“Yeah?” He turned to look at him, and by the look at everyone at the table, it wasn’t the first time he had called. “Sorry, what was that?”

“I asked about today. Are you working overtime again?” 

“Ah, yes, I am, sorry!” Midoriya had been really busy at work those past two weeks. When he came back, he came across a rumor worth investigating, and after a talk with Best Jeanist - and a lot of begging - he was in charge of that. But that meant a lot of extra hours dedicated to both office and fieldwork. “I don’t think we will be able to meet up, but I promise I’ll make my part of our physics project, guys! I swear!”

“No one is doubting you, buddy,” Tsu said, patting him in the back. “We just wish we were together, but it’s okay. Well, enough talking, I’m starving! Let’s eat!”

“Itadakisamsu!” They all said. 

---

It was late when Deku got back to the dorms, meaning everyone was already in their rooms and the common room was dark and quiet. And he really could use dark and quiet right now.

He was exhausted. It seemed that investigating things like this, with nothing more than rumors here and there, no proof, no north, took more energy than to actually fight . What he most wanted was to crawl into bed and just blackout, but he wasn’t sure that would happen, seeing he had a lot on his mind. He dragged himself to his room to get his pajamas and headed to the shower. Then, before going back up, he decided to prepare a cup of tea and a toast so he would not go to bed on an empty stomach. 

While he was eating he grabbed his phone to scroll through Instagram for a while. He was looking at his friends' stories and then saw a picture Mina posted earlier in the evening of her watching a movie. It was the Demon Slayer movie. His eyes squinted a little. Then in the next picture, it was the “bakusquad”, as they called it, playing overwatch. Bakugou was there too. 

He exited Instagram immediately and entered Line, searching for Kacchan’s chat.

“Just saw Mina’s stories and I swear to all my All Might merch that if you watched that movie without me, I will make you regret it!! Ò.Ó” 

00:12

“Wow, 00:12? Shit!” He stared at the hour on his phone. Letting out a breath, he got up, cleaned what he used, grabbed his stuff, and went up to his room. He didn’t notice that the message he sent got a read check. 

In his room, he brushed his teeth in the toilet and found his way under the blankets. He closed his eyes and started taking deep breaths, trying to calm down enough so he would fall asleep. He could almost feel himself drifting away when suddenly he heard someone on his front porch. He hoped the person would go away,  but then he heard a soft knock. 

“Argh, c’mon!” He complained as he had to leave the comfort of his bed and step into the cold again. “Did something happen? What do you-” He was saying as he opened the curtains but stopped himself when he saw who was outside the door. “Kacchan?” 

Katsuki was embracing himself because of the cold. He raised his eyebrows at him, and moved his lips saying what Midoriya caught as “Open this fucking door already”. And then the shock passed and Deku was able to move, opening the door to let Katsuki in. 

“Shit, it’s cold!” Izuku said as he felt the cold air, closing the door as quickly as he could. He was only wearing a shirt and a boxer.

“Yeah, no shit! A minute longer and I’d be a fucking popsicle thanks to you!” Bakugou complained, trying to heat himself up, passing his hands up and down his arms. 

“What are you doing here? How did you…” Izuku pointed to the porch, still not quite understanding what was going on. 

“Yeah, like it’s super hard for me to get down three floors! Use your fucking head.” He seemed to be more comfortable with the temperature, so he let his arms fall to his side. “Were you expecting someone else?”

“What?” 

“The way you talked. Were you expecting to see someone else?” Bakugou took a step closer to the boy. 

“Well, I sure wasn’t expecting you! It’s past midnight. Are you okay?” He asked, genuinely concerned. The concern in his voice made Bakugou decide to leave his own question aside and go back to the important matter. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just couldn’t really fall asleep. Then you sent me that message. Thought I’d come by.” He grinned, stepping even closer. 

Izuku let a breathy giggle escape his lungs. “Why?” But he knew why, he just wanted to hear Bakugou say it. 

“ Because, you asshole, it’s been two fucking weeks since we got back and we haven’t had one single minute alone. Our schedules are clashing like hell. It’s pissing me the fuck off!” The blond reached out his hand just a little to touch the back of Izuku’s hand. 

“Own, so you missed me?” The grin on that freckled face did no good to Bakugou’s inside.

“You know what, I’m leaving” He threatened, making a move to go past Deku and leave the room. But there was no real intention in the move and he stopped the moment fingers intertwined with his.

“No, c’mon! I missed you too.” He smiled. 

“I never said I missed you, idiot.” Katsuki rolled his eyes, knowing damn well he was lying. 

“Okay, sorry.” Deku pulled him closer. “I missed you. Period. Happy?” 

“Very.”

He cupped Midoriya’s face with his hands and placed a long kiss on his lips. Fuck, he did miss that. A lot. His tongue licked Deku’s lips, and he opened them, letting him through. The kiss got deeper and deeper. Bakugou pushed Deku to the bed until he was sitting, then laid him back and got on top of him. 

Izuku’s hands went to Katsuki’s back, lightly digging his fingernails down his spine, only enough to make the boy shiver. In response, he pressed his hips down while strolling his finger through Deku’s tight. It wasn’t helpful to any of them that Izuku slept in his boxers. Bakugou grinned into the kiss. 

They found a comfortable rhythm and kept going until they felt it was becoming too much and they started to slow down the pace. 

It was what they did. Even if they had talked on that first day that they hadn’t moved too fast, something inside them decided that they needed to at least be in that level for a while. They haven’t spoken about it or anything, but it seemed like they were on the same page. Both of them started to slow down the pace when they felt like they were heading to dangerous places. 

But because they still haven’t talked about it, they still didn’t know what was too much. What was the line between them? But honestly? Both of them were really fine with that. For now. 

They ended up just lying next to each other now, letting their bodies return to normal. Kacchan’s face buried in Izuku’s neck, with their legs intertwined to fit both of them in the single bed. 

“Oh, I didn’t watch the movie, by the way.” He said. “You have too much blackmail on me now for me to betray you like that.” Katsuki chuckled. 

“Glad you know!” Izuku said, squeezing the blond’s body a little. 

They both felt their bodies and mind relax for real for the first in the past two weeks. 

Bakugou couldn’t help but scold himself mentally for that. Because when the hell did he become so… Dependent? And they weren’t even dating, for fuck’s sake. But the thing is, as hard as it was to admit it, after having Deku in his house for 5 days in a row and spending 24 hours with him, he kind of… got used to it. Got used to having him there, especially at night. And he… Well, he just wasn’t sleeping that well on his own. 

Fucking ridiculous if you ask him. 

Today he was close to asking Kirishima to let him sleep in his room because he sensed that if he tried to sleep on his own he would probably have a nightmare. And he’d been free of those for a while, he wasn’t planning on letting it start all over again. But then Izuku’s message came in. He was out of bed and at the balcony before he even noticed. 

_________

It became a habit. 

Their schedules would clash for the whole semester, so apart from a few weekends, they wouldn’t have much time alone. That, added to the fact that Izuku took forever to fall asleep without Katsuki because he couldn’t shut up his mind, and that Katsuki feared his nightmares would come back came if he was alone, resulted in a new routine. 

They would spend the day doing what they had to, but at night - most nights having to escape through the balcony so no one would see them - they would go to each other’s room and sleep together. Sometimes, that was all they did. But other times, if it was a little bit earlier, they would start playing or watching something, which occasionally would lead to a make-out session before they fell asleep. 

-

A week passed. 

Bakugou was already sleeping when Deku walked into his room and climbed into his bed.

“What time is it?” He asked, drowsy, moving closer to the wall so Izuku could lie behind him.

“Late. I’m sorry.” He whispered on his neck. 

“You’re going to tell me why the fuck you keep coming back at this time? How come Aizawa even let you do it?” 

He only got silence as a response. Deku was already sleeping. 

-

The next day was a long one. 

Bakugou, Midoriya, and Todoroki got teamed up in a mission to go after a group suspected of human traffic. They locked the guys up and freed the victims, but it was a long fight. Not hard, because hey, they’re the new UA Big Three, the future of hero society! But since the organization was a lot bigger than expected, they had to fight around 100 people on their own - not at the same time, thank goodness. So the day was tiring enough that Izuku wanted to go to bed as soon as he stepped into the dorms, and so they did.

It was close to midnight, and Katsuki’s room was dark. 

They may not be sleeping together for a long time, but Bakugou was already well aware of the normal rhythm of Deku’s breathing when he slept, and how he used to lay still the whole night while he was the one who kept moving. But that day, something was off and his sixth sense noticed and woke him up. 

Izuku's breathing was uneasy and louder than normal and he kept making micro-movements, as if trying not to wake Katsuki up, rotating his feet, opening and closing his hands, and tensioning and relaxing the muscle in his arms and neck.

“Hey, you good? You’re breathing way too loud!” Bakugou asked. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” Deku said, sitting up. At every move, he heaved. “I think it’s best for us if I sleep in my own room today”. He put his leg out of the bed. 

“Hey, no, that’s not it! I’m not complaining! I just asked if you were okay, damn it. What the hell is up?” Katsuki put a hand on Deku’s shoulder, keeping him from getting up.

He took a deep breath. “The painkillers don’t work sometimes. And today we kept a fight going for what? Three hours? But the worst thing is that the temperature is starting to shift and...” He sighed, leaving the sentence unfinished. 

“What?” Deku had said a lot of things that sounded disconnected, but after the sleep-drunkenness passed, things started to make sense. “ Sometimes? Are you regularly on painkillers?”

“Yeah,” He said with his voice low. “A gift one for all gave me. Chronic pain. Yay!” He raised his hands in a fake cheer. 

Oh shit. He didn’t know about that. Why didn’t he know about that? “So, you’re in pain right now?” Izuku nodded. “Where?”

“Everywhere! Though my arms are the worst”. 

Without a second of hesitation, Bakugou adjusted his position on the bed, turning all his body to Midoriya. He reached out to touch the boy’s arm and squeezed it lightly. Even in the little light that came from the window he saw the freckled face contort in pain. 

“Did I hurt you?” He asked promptly. Izuku shook his head softly. “Is this okay, then? Want me to keep going?”

“Please” Deku pleaded, his voice barely a whisper. 

So Bakugou kept going. He strolled his fingers firmly up and down his right arms, following every muscle. He took his hand on his and massaged it too. Then he got up and went to the other side and did the same on the left arm and hand. They didn’t exchange words apart from when Katsuki checked to see if Izuku was okay. After a while, he could sense the boy’s breathing going back to normal as the tension on his arms dissipated. 

“Do you want your back to be next or the last one?”, Kacchan asked.

“What do you mean? Isn’t that the one thing left?” His voice was small and drowsy already. 

“No! Unlike you, I remember you have legs! I am particularly very fond of them.” Both of them chuckled.

“Oh, right. Hm… So… Make it last”. 

“Okay. Lay your head on the pillow and stretch your legs down then”. 

Bakugou moved to the end of the bed, put Deku’s right leg on his lap, and started to do the same thing he did on his arms. Follow down every muscle, firmly, but not too strong to hurt him. 

“This is kind of weird,” Izuku said after a while.

“What?”

“This!” he pointed at them. “This position, hm… everything”. 

“Oh, so making out is totally fine, but me massaging your leg is suddenly weird?” He teased, which drew a smile out of Izuku’s face. 

“It is!”

“It’s not. This is just your ‘I don’t want to be a bother’ thing kicking in. That’s why you think it’s weird”. 

“Well, I-”

“You’re not, by the way,” Bakugou cut him. “Before you say something. You’re not bothering me or anything, so relax.” He said while moving so he could take Izuku’s left leg next. 

And Midoriya didn’t say anything more, but that wasn’t the only reason he thought it was weird. He’d still get over-conscious whenever Bakugou was too nice and kind to him. He had always suspected that this part of him existed, but he had never thought he would be the one to see it. Besides, they got too intimate too fast. They had their first kiss less than a month ago, and he already felt as if they were dating for years. So it’s not that it was weird. It was more. It was unexpected, new, amazing, great, unbelievable. 

It was overwhelming.

“Okay, lie on your stomach now,” Kacchan said, taking Izuku out of his wandering. As soon as he was lying with his face down the pillow, he sensed Katsuki getting on top of him, sitting right below his butt. “Am I too heavy? Is it uncomfortable?” He asked. 

“No” Deku smiled. “It’s fine”. And it really was. He even thought that maybe Kacchan was not letting all his weight down.

Bakugou put his hand under his shirt and started to caress along his spine, making sure to take away all the tension and keep it from irradiating the pain to the rest of the body. 

Regular painkillers. He cursed himself for not ever thinking about this. Sure, he knew Izuku was ‘used to the pain’, but still! It hasn’t ever gone through his head the amount of pain he must be all the time. Sure, he has been healed but shattering your body as many times as he has surely had to have consequences. 

He was going to talk to Midoriya about this, about why did he tell Deku about all the medication he was in to keep his anxiety under control, and he never heard a word about him being treated for chronic pain. But right now Izuku’s breathing has changed once more. He was finally asleep. So he quickly finished massaging his neck and gently got off him.

Deku was in the middle of the bed, and even if it was a three-quarter bed, it still didn't leave much room for him. But still, he wasn’t really planning on sleeping on the bed anyway. He would probably push Deku to the corner and that was the last thing he needed today. 

“Argh, what don’t I do for you, asshole!” He breathed, not really upset. He grabbed the futon he kept in his closet for whenever he would camp and stretched it on the floor. Little did he know he was going to do that more times than he would’ve liked to.  He checked on Izuku one more time and he seemed to be way more relaxed right now. “Good night, nerd.” He said quietly and went back to sleep himself. 

In the morning, Katsuki was the first to wake up as usual, which gave him the chance to put away the futon before Izuku woke up. Because if Deku knew he slept on the floor, that idiot would never want to sleep in his room again. 

He woke Deku up right after that and sent him off to his room before he himself left to take a shower. Downstairs, they met again. 

“Good morning, everyone!” Deku said when he got into the common bathroom. 

“Morning, Midoriya!” Tokoyami said. 

“Sup, nerd!” Katsuki smirked. 

“Midoriya-kun!” Iida called. “I am happy to see you are working to change your habits!”

“What do you mean?” He smiled, getting under the water.

“Well, I decided not to say anything before because at first, I thought it was an occasional thing, but it’s been a week and you are getting up almost an hour earlier than you used to!”

“Oh, yeah!” Izuku looked down to try to hide his smile. “I’m just sleeping better!”

“Just last week you complained about not being able to sleep!” A voice came from behind him, and he jumped, dropping his soap on the floor. 

“Oh, hi, good morning, Todoroki! You really should stop doing that!” Midoriya laughed. “And yeah, I know, but this week I have been… Well, better, I guess!” Izuku bent down to get the soap. 

“Hm, if you say so,” Shoto said, noticing Bakugou staring at Midoriya the whole time. “Glad you’re better!” He smiled. Something is definitely off. 

_________

Finally, it was Saturday. 

A Saturday they had nothing academic or work-wise to do. 

The last weekend of January. 

Both 2A and 2B decided to go to an amusement park to relax a little before classes started to really fuck them up again. And because they were in a really big group, it was obvious that all of them wouldn’t spend all the time together. They were always dividing themselves into small groups without warning, but no one minded because they eventually found each other again, and they’ve basically participated in a war, so get lost in an amusement park? Not really something to worry about. 

“So you see why it wouldn’t be a problem if we disappeared for a while,” Bakugou whispered in Midoriya’s ear. 

Deku sighed, saying the same thing for the 5th time. “Kacchan, someone will notice!” They were in a smaller group already, and for sure someone would see them getting away. Sure, he wanted some time alone with him. After all, it was the first time they were out together in a non-work-related situation, just having fun, after they started it all. But he just couldn’t leave. They were with Uraraka, Todoroki, Kirishima, Sero, Momo, Ibara, Tokoyami, Tetsutetsu and Kuroiro. There was no way for them to get away unnoticed. “Maybe later, if we get to reunite with everyone.”

“What are you two whispering about?” Kirishima turned away from his talk with Tetsutetsu, coming close to them and putting an arm around Bakugou’s shoulder. “You’re not being mean to him or anything, are you?” Bakugou rolled his eyes in return. Then Eijiro looked at Deku and smiled. “You’re looking kind of distressed, man! I can take him away if you want.”

Izuku felt a little funny inside. Why are you apologizing for him? Also, it’s not like he was doing anything wrong. He tried to smile back at Kirishima but he felt it wasn’t really genuine. “No, relax. It’s fine, I promise.” Before any of them could say anything else, Uraraka came running and held his hand in a pleading way.

“Deku-kun, guess you’ll have to go to the haunted house with me!”

“What?” He squeaked. Haunted house? He didn’t even realize that’s where they were heading. 

“People get in four at a time. Tokoyami won’t go because it’s too dark. Tetsutetsu, Kirishima, Sero, and Bakugou will go together.”

“What?” Bakugou asked. He didn’t know that. He didn’t remember agreeing to any of that. But the only thing he got as an answer was Eijiro smiling. Fucking great. 

Uraraka kept going without paying any mind to the blond. “And Momo, Ibara, Todoroki, and Kuroiro are another group. So that leaves the two of us. We’ll probably get paired up with some other people, though.”

“I don’t-” Izuku started. 

“Oh, c’mon! You won’t let me go alone, will you?” She spoke loudly for every one of their friends to hear. Her tone was teasing. She knew quite well that Deku wasn’t really a fan of that kind of thing. But she loved to tease him about it, so she always asked him to play horror games with her, and watch terror movies, and, well, go into haunted houses. “You know I get scared of these things, so I need someone to hold on to!” She pouted.

Izuku gasped. You absolute traitor. He couldn’t say no now. He got down closer to her face so no one would hear. “Just for that, you’ll watch a 3 hour documentary about All Might’s best fights with me”. Uraraka giggled. If that’s what it takes to see Deku’s screams, then she’d take it. 

“Let’s see who will hold on to who!” Bakugou scoffed, having heard the whole thing. Uraraka laughed. The others were trying to figure out what the joke was. 

“Oh, like you’re any better!” Izuku knew Bakugou was as much a fan of horror stuff as he was. 

“Excuse you? At least I don’t scream like a little girl,” Katsuki grinned. 

“Wow, not very feminist of you,” Deku scolded, stepping closer to him. 

“Remind me again who didn’t even know who Simone de Beauvoir was?” Katsuki did the same, still grinning. 

“She is centuries old! How would I know?”

“You wouldn’t. Because, as I stated many times before, you’re a fucking useless nerd. You’re just a nerd about useless shit, Deku .”

“Did you just call All Might a useless shit?” He lifted his eyebrow and grinned too.

“Oh, go fuck yourself, won’t you?” Bakugou was ready to shove Deku’s head under his arms and give him a noogie for being an annoying cute shit with that little grin, but he was stopped.

“Okay, okay! Enough!” Kirishima stepped in and separated the guys. “Let’s go, Bakugou! Sorry, Midoriya!” He said, dragging his friend away and joining Sero and Tetsutetsu. 

Deku must have made a weird face because then Uraraka asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Hm?” He blinked. 

“You look… I don’t know! Not normal. Is everything okay?”

And he could dismiss her, but he also felt… not normal. Maybe if he tried to put that feeling into words, it would make sense? Well, worth the try. “We weren’t fighting.”

“What?” 

“Kacchan and I. We… We weren’t fighting.” He whispered. 

“No? Oh, okay… That’s good then, isn’t it?” She smiled, yet clearly confused. 

“Yeah, but… It’s just that… I’m not saying that he is doing anything wrong. And I don’t want to sound ungrateful here. I swear! And it’s not like it’s his fault, he is trying his best, you know? I know he intends the best and he is such a sweet man, and I love him but this is-”

“Deku! I’m not following!” She put a hand on his shoulder to ground him.

“When Kirishima used to step in between Kacchan and I before, most times I appreciated it. Because, in the past, he was probably saving me from getting my face blown up. But now… We are just… bickering! In a friendly way. That’s all! We don’t mean any harm to each other. He doesn’t mean any harm to me, and I know it. But he keeps…” Deku sighed.

“He keeps stepping in,” Ochako finished the sentence, understanding what he meant.

“Yeah. And apologizing for him, as if Kacchan can’t make his own apologies!”

“Well… Can he?”

“Well, sometimes! It depends on the situation. But I don’t really need him to and- Argh! That’s not the point! Kirishima doesn’t-” And then he stopped. Oh shit. ‘Kirishima doesn’t own him’. That’s what he was going to say. Oh boy... He just realized what that was. He was jealous. 

“Deku?”

“You know what? Never mind!” He looked at their friends getting into the haunted house and took a deep breath. He held Ochako’s hand and smiled at her. “Let’s get this over with!”

Izuku tried his best not to scream at any time, and you know what? He failed miserably. Even if he knew that something was going to come up, it was too… horrifying. He just couldn’t understand why there were people who would get scared on purpose. 

The rest of the day went out smoothly. And whenever Izuku and Katsuki crossed their eyes and they smiled at each other, Bakugou had to really fight his instincts to just tell everyone to go to hell and kiss him right there. Because Izuku was happy, and really laughing. And, as he had made quite clear in the past, he was weak for his laugh. 

Sometimes, though, Izuku frowned and mumbled some words to himself. He wondered what that was about. 

Later, before getting back to the dorms they all decided to eat at a burger shop near campus. And Deku swore that it wasn’t on purpose, but he ended up sitting right next to Bakugou. Accident or not, Katsuki took the opportunity that he had Izuku on his left side, the wall on his right, and very distracted friends chatting about something he could not pay attention to anymore and touched the boy’s tight with his little finger. 

Izuku looked at him right away. His brows frowned in a question. The blond took a deep breath, turned his face to the window a little bit ahead of where they were, and opened his hand, palm facing up. Izuku understood right away. Kacchan was tired and socializing was starting to become overwhelming. He held the hand Bakugou offered and caressed the back of it with his thumb. 

A waiter came in and took their order. When Katsuki ordered just some fries, his friends found it a bit weird. “Are you okay, bro?” Kaminari asked. Bakugou usually always ordered combo n.5, a super spice burger, with onion rings and soda. And he loved that burger. 

Bakugou just looked at him and even before he could open his mouth to tell him to fuck off, Kirishima spoke. “Ah, he’s probably just done for the day! Don’t mind him.”

It was a reflex. He was doing it before he realized it.

Deku squeezed Bakugou’s hand a little before saying, “Actually, I think I am too. The week’s been hard at work and I am super tired. I think I’ll ask for takeout instead.” He said, grabbing his phone and wallet on the table and putting it awkwardly in his pockets while still sitting down. He looked at Tokoyami and Sero on his left side. “I’m so sorry, could you two excuse me for just a second?” So the two boys, yet frowning, got up to let him get out. “Thanks!”

Everyone who was at the table - Tokoyami, Sero, Kirishima, Kaminari, Ojiro, and Shoji - looked at Izuku not quite understanding what was going on. It was not like him to leave early from this kind of event, especially if everyone were together. “Are you okay, Midoriya?” Tokoyami asked. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Today’s been amazing, thank you all for everything! I’m just really tired,” he assured them. 

Bakugou hid out a side smile before talking. “Well, if Mr. Friendship there is leaving, then I’m not gonna be the one to put up with this shit. I’m out!” Bakugou said, also grabbing his phone and wallet and getting off the table. He headed straight to the balcony of the dining, without speaking to anyone else. He asked for the cashier for his and Midoriya’s order to go, and he actually changed his order to a combo n.5 since he was feeling better by just being able to leave. Therefore, his appetite was back.

Midoriya joined him a few minutes later, probably because he was explaining to his friends that he was leaving. By then, both orders were basically ready, so they paid and left. 

“Thanks,” Bakugou said walking down the sidewalk, already shoving down an onion ring. 

“What? I didn’t do it for you! I can’t wait to eat in my peaceful room, alone , watching a good movie!” Deku beamed.

Bakugou let out a breathy scoff and took a sip of his drink. He smiled when he felt Midoriya’s hand search for his, and, after putting things back in the bag to free one of his hands, he took it. They were quiet for the rest of the way. 

Back in the dorms, since no one was there, they actually ate in the kitchen instead of their rooms. It was nice having it to themselves, reminding them of the glimpse of the domestic life they had in Bakugou’s house. Touching whenever they wanted to, out in the open. Quick peck and kisses here and there if they felt like it, without having to do it inside the four walls of their rooms. Too nice, even . Katsuki caught himself thinking. Then he thought of Kaminari and Jirou, how they did those things and no one cared, and they didn’t care about being seen. Maybe we shouldn’t-

“Alright!” Deku said when he finished cleaning the balcony, cutting Kacchan away from his thoughts. “Let’s go take a shower and-” Out of the blue, Bakugou grabbed him by the waist and kissed him, and Deku melted into it. After they parted, Izuku finally finished his sentence. “- watch something”, he said, breathlessly. 

“Yeah, like hell I’ll let you watch anything. I’ve been meaning to do this all day and you’re gonna fucking let me!” Katsuki quietly growled.

Izuku’s face burned up. “Oh… Okay!”

After they took a shower, Katsuki was true to his words. He rushed Izuku to his room because it was closer and he didn’t feel like taking three more flights of stairs. As soon as the door closed behind them, he sealed his lips on Deku’s and didn’t let go. And wouldn’t let go for the life of him. 

Bakugou crouched down only enough to be able to put his hands under Izuku’s leg to lift the boy up. He put him on the desk and kept kissing him. Izuku’s hand went to the bottom of his shirt and started to pull it up. Bakugou lifted his arms up to help him with that, stepping away only for the shirt to be taken off. 

But before he could find Deku’s lips again, Midoriya dove into his chest and kissed it. Then his shoulder, shoulder blades, neck, ear, and cheekbone. And then, he lightly sucked and bit him on the neck, but as good as that was, Katsuki pulled back.

“Hey, I know our hero uniforms cover us up, but I’m not gonna be able to hide a mark there in our school uniform, asshole!” He said, staring at Izuku’s inebriated eyes. Then he smiled with those damn swollen lips. Fuck, he looks gorgeous. 

“I know! I won’t leave any marks, I promise!” And then their mouths clasped together again. 

Shortly later, Izuku’s shirt was off him too, and now it was Bakugou’s turn to explore his torso. His hands were starting to become adventures as well. Up until now he only touched Izuku’s ass and his outer thigh. But his touch moved, slowly, to his inner thigh, and then, up, and up, and up, and…

“You want me to stop?” Katsuki asked. He had to be sure. He was willing to throw away every line between them right there if Izuku allowed him to. 

“No,” Izuku answered against his lips. 

There. Fuck it if they were 17. Fuck it if they were on school grounds. Fuck it if they still didn’t know exactly what kind of relationship they were in. Fuck all that. They wanted each other, they trusted each other, and that was enough. 

He touched Izuku for the first time. 

The sound that escaped the boy’s throat was ritualistic. He could worship that sound alone, and he’d start a religion for the way he melted within his touch. Katsuki felt nails scratch his back, and it made his body tremble under those scarred fingers. 

Izuku’s leg, those damn gorgeous strong legs that Kacchan just couldn’t get enough of, hugged him and pulled him closer, locking their hips together. They moved on to each other, unconsciously, just letting the feeling grow within them. Deku’s hands slipped under Katsuki’s underwear, grabbing his bare skin, making the blond growl into his mouth. 

“Bed” Katsuki said. Izuku hummed in response and held him firmly so that he could be carried to bed. But as soon as he was in Kacchan’s arms, they heard a sound coming from their balcony. 

“Midoriya?” A voice called after a knock on the glass door. They only saw a shadow moving outside the curtains. 

They halted instantly. “Who the fuck is that?” Bakugou asked, with Izuku still in his arms. None of them had really recognized the voice because they hadn't really paid attention to it. 

“Are you there?” The voice called again. It was, unmistakably, Aoyama. 

“What is he doing here? Shouldn’t he be at the dine?” Izuku whispered, unwillingly setting free from Kacchan, getting back on his own feet. 

“How the fuck would I know!” He whispered back. “But I have a better question! Why is he here on your fucking balcony?”

“What?

“Zuzu? I can hear you in there!” The voice called again.

“Yeah, sorry! I’m in the bathroom, give me a second, okay?” He yelled at the boy. 

“Zuzu?” Katsuki asked bitterly. “What the- Okay, when you said you wanted to be alone in your room, I thought you were fucking kidding! Is this why you left early? Did I fucking misread the whole damn situation?” His eyes were open wide. 

“What? Stop being ridiculous!” Izuku grabbed his shirt on the floor and put it on.

“Cherie! I need you!” His voice was small, different from the way he usually spoke, so that made Izuku worry. 

“Cherie!? I don’t speak French, but even I know what that means!”

“Okay, just hold on for a second, okay!?” He yelled again, then turned his attention to the boy in front of him. “Kacchan, calm down! He just calls me nicknames, it’s no big deal!”

“Is he the one you were waiting for that first day I came here? Are you two a thing?”

“What?” Deku couldn’t believe in the nonsense he was listening to. 

“Are you cheating on me with fucking Tinker Bell?” Katsuki couldn’t really understand what he was feeling. It was like all the good things he was feeling a moment before had faded. He was angry, and sad, and disappointed, and unsatisfied, and a lot of other things melted into one, and it was becoming… a lot. What the hell is wrong with me?

“Okay, you need to pull yourself together!” Izuku cupped the boy’s face with both hands the most gentle he could. “I have absolutely nothing with Aoyama. Or anyone else. There’s only you! Okay?” He gave his lips a peck. “I’ll answer whatever you want to know as soon as I get back.  I’ll try not to take long, I promise!”

And then, he went to the balcony door and got out, carefully to not pull the curtains away and expose the insides of his bedroom. 

“Aoyama, what is it? Is everything okay?” He asked. Aoyama’s eyes were red and swollen, he was obviously crying. 

“I got rejected!” The boy cried once more, hugging Izuku.

“What? By whom? I didn't even know you liked someone.”

“I didn’t tell you before because we haven’t got the time. You remember that I was having trouble with some people from the general studies that were coming at me for being too… much?” Izuku nodded. “Yeah, so... Monoma helped me.”

“Monoma?” Midoriya asked, incredulous. 

“I know, cherie! I was surprised too, you know? He found me crying once and instead of being mean, as per usual, he was sort of... sweet. He said that so what if I was too much? He was too, and if we were to become awesome heroes, then we had to be! And ah, Zuzu, things let to another and I just... I like him so much!"

“Oh, Yuga...” Falling in love with Monoma. Yeah, that can’t turn out allright. 

“I confessed to him today, but he- I'm too late!” He sniffed. “He’s with Shinsou! Can you believe that?!” 

What? “Actually, no? I can’t!”

Aoyama hugged him again and cried some more. With time, he was able to take the boy into his own room and talk to him for a while until he felt better. They talked until the blond decided he would go to a near cafe to empty his mind since it was still 6 pm. They said goodbye in the corridor, and Izuku went back to his room. Through the front door this time. 

Bakugou was laying in bed playing something on his phone when he entered. 

“Oh, the drama queen finished his show?” He said with his eyes still on his phone.

“Are you mad at me?” His tone was close to amused. He still hadn’t forgotten the show Kacchan himself had put. Izuku sat on the tip of the bed, touching Katsuki’s leg. “Hey!”

“No, I’m not mad at you.” He pouted. Deku couldn’t help the smile on his face. 

“But you are mad?” 

“At him!” He finally dropped his phone and looked at him. “Fucking asshole! I don’t care if he had his heart shattered into a million sparkling pieces!” He already knew what happened. After all, they weren’t really quiet on the balcony, so he heard everything.  “Could he have worse timing? Damn it! And I still don’t fuckin’ know why he was in your fucking balcony! Why didn’t he just knock at the door like a normal person that you are not sleeping with?” He ranted. 

Midoriya just laughed. “Believe me, I’d rather he do that too. It started last year, actually. He just showed up at my balcony while I was sleeping and wrote some messages with cheese on the floor. It was absolutely creepy!”

“Cheese?” 

“Fucking cheese!” He laughed. “That kid is weird. But he is sweet, you know? That was his very, very odd way to seek my friendship and… Well, it worked. And he could also hear me sometimes when my quirk went off in my sleep and came to help, just like Kirishima did to you. So long story short, that’s it.”

“So… You two really don’t have anything? ” He asked. 

Why was he so worried about that anyway? He remembered that even when he and Kirishima were a thing, he’d seen the boy kiss Mina on a stupid Uno game and felt nothing. But when Deku almost did the same thing with Sero, he was close to freaking out, and they hadn’t even kissed back then. 

“No! We’re not, have never been, aaaand, most likely, will never be.” Bakugou let out a sigh of relief. Why am I feeling like this, tho? he thought. And then Izuku continued talking. “So you can quit being jealous, okay?”

“I’m sorry, quit being what now?” He meant for his voice to sound firm, but it didn’t. That caught him off guard, but also hit him in the right spot.

“Jealous!”

“I’m not!” Fucking bulshit, and he knew. 

“You are!! You asked if I was cheating on you and we’re not even an official thing!” Deku chortled shortly.

“So what? I just don’t want you with random people! Especially Tinker Bell!” Katsuki pouted again. 

“Random? So if I said I wanted to be with Todoroki too, or Kirishima, even, would you be okay? They certainly are not random! Not that Aoyama is, anyway.”

“No! Of course, it wouldn’t be okay!” He realized the loophole in his own saying. So he rephrased it. “Fine! I don’t want you with anyone else!” He grabbed Izuku’s hand and pulled him closer to him. 

“Because you’re jealous of me!” The green-haired boy beamed. 

“Fine! Because I’m jealous of you! Are you happy?” He admitted. 

“Yes, very!” 

“God, I fucking hate you!”

“You and I both know this is not true!” Deku smiled and kissed him. Katsuki told him to fuck off, but his voice was shy, so instead of threatening, Izuku found it quite cute. So he thought, in an act of compassion, that he should share something he discovered about himself too. “If it makes you feel better, I realized I am jealous of you too.” 

“What?” Bakugou was genuinely curious. “Please explain.”

“Today I realized that I’m… Jealous of Kirishima.” He said, hiding his face in Bakugou’s shoulder, only to be put away, because the blond wanted to look at his face. Thought it’d be a cute thing to see.

“So that’s what it was all about!” He said, remembering the odd faces Izuku made during the day. “But Kirishima? For real?”

“Yeah…”

“You know that we don’t have anything anymore! He’s my best friend!” He chuckled. 

“I know! That’s exactly the point!” Bakugou’s face fell and he made an expression that said Oh, I see. “I think I was always jealous of him because he became your friend so easily, you know? While I had to punch my way in for years! And well, he was your best friend while you two were together, and even after that! So I wonder, where do I fit in? Because we’re not boyfriends , and we- I- I am barely your friend! I’ve got no label! I- I’m nothing!” 

He became way more serious than before, and both of them knew that Deku was talking more than he planned to. “And when this ends,” Izuku gestured to both of them, “where will that leave me? I just… I don’t know!” He felt tears gathering in the corner of his eyes. “I wonder if we were ever in a situation like Kamino again, which I really hope not, but if we were… Would you ever take my hand? I-” Bakugou stopped him with a kiss. 

“Shut the fuck up! Now you’re the one talking nonsense!” Izuku just stared at him, waiting for him to continue. “Look, I don’t really know where I fit in your life either.” Deku opened his mouth but Bakugou didn’t let him say a word. “Hear me out. I was your childhood friend, we fucking grew up together. Then shit went out the fan, I became your bully. Which, for the record, was the fucking worst decision of my life, I’ll forever regret that. My bad.” He smiled apologetically at him. 

They’d been over that already, no need to go back to it right now , both of them knew. But Bakugou felt weird touching on that subject and not apologizing. Guess that’s a good sign.    

“And still,” he continued, “even with me harassing and hurting you, you still saw me as your fucking hero, which you have to admit, makes absolutely no fucking sense to this day.” Izuku giggled. Kacchan moved on. “Then we came to UA. We became enemies, and - Look, I know you never saw me like that, but I did, for a while, so don’t even!” He said, sensing Deku was about to open his mouth to interrupt him. “Then Kamino and Ground Beta happened and enemies turned into, I don’t know, rivals? Then slowly to partners, when I helped you train and all. And finally, after that fucking shit with All for One, we started to become sort of friends again.”

“But as soon as we were starting to figure out our friendship, you fucking kissed me! Which, don’t get me wrong,” he added when Izuku opened his mouth, probably to apologize, “I’m glad you did that. But, fuck! We didn’t even get the chance to be awkward about it because we were in the same goddamn house. You let me be awkward for a total of 10 minutes! And I think we actually dealt quite well with the situation, so...” He held his fist in front of him so Izuku could pump it, which he did, chuckling while at it. 

“Look, heaven knows I have no idea of how we got here, but here we are nonetheless. Shit is, I am just as lost as you are when it comes to ‘labels’.” Katsuki gently ruffled Izuku’s hair. “And I know you kind of dig this ‘label shit’, but if I’m being honest, I don’t think there is a word that can describe what the fuck we are.”

Deku felt very relieved at everything Kacchan said. Yeah, he was worried that he didn’t know where he stood in the boy’s life, but now that it was pointed out, it was clear that it was a two-way street. Sure, the difference was that Katsuki never really longed for Izuku’s friendship. He never worried about that. So it was different for each of them. Still, he really appreciated those words. Midoriya was ready to speak again and thank Kacchan, but apparently, the speech wasn’t over yet.

 “And you don’t have to go that far. Wondering what would happen in a situation similar to Kamino. Which is a hard pass, by the way.”

“Okay...?” Midoriya didn’t quite understand that part, but he soon would. 

“Today. I reached out to grab your hand, didn’t I? To make me feel safe, and shit?” Deku’s eyes widened at that. He felt his heart big in his chest. “So yeah, I’ve made the mistake of refusing to take your hand once, but that’s never happening again!” At that, Katsuki took one of his hands and played with his finger. “And if this ends, you pessimist self-deprecating asshole, we can figure shit out after that, sound good?” 

Those green eyes teared up again at such a tiny word. 

If.  

“Yeah.” He breathed. 

“And don’t ever say you’re nothing again. You are, at least, a pain in my ass!” They both smiled fondly at each other, absorbing the words that were shared. 

It didn’t take long for the tenseness to fade away and for something else to take over. Katsuki was playing with Izuku’s fingers while he rested in his chest, both in complete comfortable silence. It was nice, it was warm, and it was intimate. 

“So…” Bakugou started, voice low and if he didn’t want to break what they created. Izuku looked up at him, expectation in his wide green eyes. I’m so fucked. “Care to finish what we started?”

Izuku smiled and Katsuki, taking it as a ‘yes’, pulled him into a kiss.

Chapter Text

Ping.

The notification sound of his cellphone caught his attention in the silence of the library. Deku picked it up and saw the message was from an unknown number. Weird, he thought. He opened it up. 

“37.580633, 139.929405. 02/13. 1900” the message read. His eyes widened. 

“Holy shit!” Midoriya exclaimed, dropping the phone on the table by surprise and startling his friends at the table. 

“Midoriya-kun! Watch your language! And please don’t yell at the library!” Iida reprimanded him. 

“Shit, sorry! Argh, I mean, sorry!” Midoriya shook his head, grabbing his phone again and taking out a giggle from Uraraka and Tsuyu. 

But as amusing as that little moment was, something was off. “Midoriya?” Todoroki calmly called by his side, finally catching the greenet’s attention. Izuku's eyes were still wide in shock, and he clearly hadn’t paid any mind to the scene he just provoked in the UA Library. “Is everything okay?”

“Hm, yeah. I just- Sorry, guys, I need to go.” The boy got up and sprinted off.

“We’ll meet later to finish the project then?” Iisa asked, but he was left without an answer.

That didn’t sit right with Todoroki at all. His friend has been really stressed out the past few days, and he knows that whenever he is like that, something is about to happen. It’s not like Shoto has to dig in that far. Everyone knows Midoriya is overworking, so it sure has to be a reason for it, right? 

Todoroki hates it. Whatever the reason is, it makes no sense. 

He senses that the heroes are doing everything wrong with Deku. Instead of trying to take some weight off his shoulders after everything that's happened, they are putting in more. Just because Deku gave everything he had once, just because he put himself in the front lines once, just because he won against great villains… well, more than once. Just because that happened, they expect it to happen again. 

Shoto is not overworking. Dynamight is not overworking. Chargebolt is not. Uravity is not. Tsukuyomi is not. Ingenium. Froppy. Earphone Jack. Real Steel. Phantom Thief. None of them. So why let Deku do it?

Because he had been outed as All Might successor? Because he had All Might’s quirk? Because he was supposed to be a symbol of, not peace, but hope?

It wasn’t fair to him. 

Not at all. 

He was a hero in training just like him. He was a student just like him. A teenager just like him. 

Todoroki got up and followed Deku out of the library. He couldn’t see him and he hadn't seen where the boy had gone, and for some reason he felt his heart race at that. Something in him said he needed to follow Midoriya. He had to. He took his phone and tried to call him. 

Hey! Sorry for not being able to pick it up! I’m probably busy or-

He hung up. Tried again.

Hey! Sorry for not-

Again. 

Hey-

Again. 

The number you called is currently unavailable. 

Again. 

The number you- 

“Seriously, Midoriya?” He said to his phone. He made another call. A different number this time. 

It called… Called… Called… Call-

“What the fuck do you want?” A rocky annoyed voice answered.

“Are you at the agency right now?” 

Bakugou wished to bark back, but there was something in that voice that twisted something in him. He instantly knew something was wrong. “No, I’m on patrol, why?”

“It’s Midoriya. I’m worried about him. He got a message and ran off the library without explaining anything to anyone.” 

Okay, that was way more stupid than Bakugou was expecting. He sighed. “Are you calling me because he got upset at a text message? I didn’t do shit, if that’s what you’re thinking. Now fuck off, I have to work!” He was about to hang up when he heard the yell over the call telling him to wait. “What?!” He growled. 

“I think it’s about the work he’s been doing. It’s just a hunch. He was sitting next to me and I had a glimpse of the message he received.”

“Okay, and?”

“It was a coordinate, date and time. He is going somewhere and I have a feeling this isn’t going to turn out well, I don’t know why.”

“What, you got a new future-seeing-shit quirk that I don’t know of?” The blond teased, only to try shaking off the worry building inside him already.

“I’m serious! Look, I was going to at least try to find him and talk to him, but I swear I had a reaction time of half a minute before going after him and I lost him already.”

“Yeah, that motherfucker can be slippery when he wants to. You tried his phone?” 

“Yeah. It’s unavailable.”

 “Ah, fucking hell,” Bakugou took a deep breath. There isn’t a reason to be worried, is there? Not really, right? I mean, the pros wouldn’t let Deku do something that dangerous, would- And then he remembered the state those stupid pros allowed Deku to get last year. A chill went down his spine. 

“Any possibility he is just freaking out somewhere and we’ll be able to talk some sense into him later?” Or beating the shit out of him until he comes to his senses. That asshole loved to point fingers. ‘ Kacchan, let me help you’ here, ‘Kacchan, you need to know how to rely on others’ there. Fucking hypocrite.

“No. The date was February 13th.”

“So, today?” Before Bakugou knew, he was running back to the agency. 

“Yeah.”

“What time?” 

“1900. That’s 7pm.”

“I know, dipshit. Okay, it’s 1pm. We have enough time. I’m going to the agency to see if he’s there. If he isn’t, I’ll ask Jeanist.”

He hung up the phone and went as fast as he could. Why was his heart racing like that? He didn’t know if what was going to happen was serious. It was just coordinates. Just that. This dreadful feeling growing in his gut was nothing else but Half’n’Half’s anxiety projected. He was sure. Nothing else. 

Still, he couldn’t shake it off. 

“Jeanist!” Bakugou yelled, storming into Best Jeanist office. When he did, he almost hit a girl in the face. She apologized and ran off, looking down. Weird little shit. He frowned at her as exited the floor. He’s never seen her before, but she looked oddly familiar. 

“Yes, Dynamight?” Best Jeanist's steady and calm voice got his attention back. “Is everything okay?” 

“No. Where the hell is Deku?”

“He is working. Why?” The tone was so condescending and evasive Bakugou wanted to explode the office. 

“It’s Deku’s day off. He shouldn’t be working.”

“Yes, I know. However, he had to-”

“Tell me where he is.”

“He’s on a mission, that’s all you need to know.”

The anxiety kept growing. “Ok, with whom?” Jeanist didn’t answer. That didn’t sit right. “ Alone?” He growled.

The hero sighed. “Yes.”

Katsuki scoffed. He wished he could take his gloves off so he could dry his palms. They were uncomfortably sweaty right now. “How the hell did you let someone go alone on a mission, with no back up?”

“The nature of the mission didn’t allow us to send a whole team. But he guaranteed me he’ll be careful, and we are monitoring his location if something happens.”

“Oh, he guaran- Argh! You know what, I don’t give a fuck. Send me to him.”

“I said we can’t-”

“Send a whole team. Yeah, yeah. But I’m not a fucking a team. Send me to him.” At Jeanist silence again, he snapped. “Look, I’m not gonna take this shit anymore. I shared his secret with All Might before anyone even knew. Before you even dreamed that that was possible! So you-

“Bakugou!” Jeanist cut him. “I’m afraid one thing has nothing to do with the other. I understand that you might feel left out of his life right now, because he has a secret that he isn’t telling you, but it’s just how it is.”

“Fucking hell! That’s not what I fucking meant!!”

“Watch your language, young man! I won’t be having this discussion any longer. Deku is a perfectly capable hero, and he can take care of himself, so-”

“No! He can’t! ‘Perfectly capable’ my ass! He’s stubborn, and reckless, and doesn’t take himself into consideration, ever! Or did you forget what happened last time you left him to take care of himself? I saved him from that hell you all put him through! And he’s not a pro yet!! He’s your fucking intern, for fuck’s sake!” He yelled. The pro opened his mouth to speak, but the blond wasn’t finished. 

“That ‘capable hero’ doesn’t sleep, has fits of pain every other day and is fucking struggling with school work, of all things. What the fuck is wrong with you? He’s not All Might! He can’t- He doesn’t need to do shit on his own! And he won’t. Because you are going to tell me where the fuck he is going so I can have his damn back. Got that?”

---

“Half’n’half, did you get Jeanist message?” Bakugou asked on the phone, holding it with his shoulders while he took off his uniform. 

“Yeah, I’m on my way to the station already.” 

“You’re in casual clothes?” 

“Yeah, I am. Why can’t we wear our uniforms?”

“To hell if I know. I’ll let stupid Deku explain. If we can catch him in time! I just finished here, I’ll go and buy our tickets.” Bakugou shoved his uniform in his case, but left some hand grenades in his pockets just in case. 

“Where are we even going, anyway?” There was a noise under Todoroki’s voice indicating that he was inside the train already.

“Fucking Fukushima.” Bakugou deadpanned.

“What? That’s like… Way up north!”

“Yeah. Three and a half hours in a fucking train. That’s why we can’t be fucking late! So hurry up!” He hung up, found a way to put his case in a backpack, and blew his way to the train station. 

He met Todoroki at 1:47pm. Their train left in 10 minutes. 

“For what Jeanist said, we should be on the same train as him. We just have to find him, which honestly I think it will be sort of difficult because he looks like-”

“Kacchan, what do you think you’re doing?” A soft, yet annoyed, high-pitched voice asked him from behind. 

Bakugou turned, his eyes met really familiar veridian ones, but all the rest of the face didn’t match. “-someone else” He finished. It was the same girl he saw running out of Best Jeanist office. There was no doubt that the girl was Deku. She was shorter, and had black straight hair. The freckles were gone, which was a shame. But the eyes were still his. That’s why she looked familiar. 

Bakugou raised his brow, slightly amused. She was cute, but Deku was way better. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“My job?”

“Alone? Again? No, I don’t think so.”

“Why not? You two go around on missions alone all the time, why can’t I? I’m not incompetent, you know?”

“I didn’t say that!” Bakugou frowned. 

Todoroki thought it best to intervene when he realized there was no playfulness in their tones. “I’m sorry, Midoriya. It was my idea to talk to Jeanist. And we just think you could use the help.”

“You don’t even know what I’m doing, how can you possibly assume I can’t handle it?”

“Can doesn’t mean should.” Bakugou spoke and Izuku simply stared at him. He knew the weight of those words. He took a deep breath and Katsuki took advantage of that piece of quiet to continue. “Besides, we don’t think you can’t handle it. We just think you’ve been stressed to hell and when we learned you were doing this on your own, we thought you could use someone to back you up. That’s all. Just to back you up.” Todoroki nodded at that. 

Izuku sighed. “Fine. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get angry, I’m just…”

“Stressed. Yeah, we know.” Bakugou scoffed. 

Izuku tried to smile in return. “Alright, fine. Let’s go, we have a train to catch. I can explain everything on the way.”

-----------

3 months ago

“No, I mean it! I wouldn’t lie about this! I know what I heard.” A young voice whispered in the corner of the municipal library. 

And that was when Danger Sense kicked in. It has been acting differently along the way, not only reacting to an immediate danger, but to anything that might indicate danger in the future. So of course Deku tuned in the conversation. 

“It’s like an underground academy stuff. They’ve been teaching people how to use their quirks in a fight!”

“Do you think we could get in?” Another voice. Equally young.

“We could try!” It was a hopeful tone. “We can’t let that happen again, right?”

“Right.”

Izuku couldn’t listen to the rest, for the two teens went too far away. But he was intrigued, alright. 

They’ve been teaching people how to use their quirks in a fight!, one of them had said. 

The problem was: who were ‘them’? And who were the people enrolled in that?

Izuku couldn’t blame people wanting to partake in that, if it was real at all. How could he? He saw how desperate people were last year. Without their houses, their families, no one to help them. There were not enough heroes to help everyone. So many people were left out, suffering. And there was nothing anyone could do at that point. 

So yeah, he gets it. If he wasn’t training to be a hero himself already, he would probably want to learn any means he could to protect those he loved. 

However, he just knew that there was more to it than just “wanting to protect their loved ones”. A class to teach how to fight, relying on their quirks? That could unleash a whole new set of vigilants out there, and worse, it could become a villain academy. 

And Best Jeanist agreed with him. If what he heard was true, it could indeed become a problem in the future. But for now, it was nothing more than a rumor, and wasn’t worth much of attention. 

“Try not to mind that too much, okay, Deku? If you try too hard to catch it, it will just slip through your fingers. Go through your day as usual, and if you hear something else, or have a different lead, then you start following that path, okay?”

But of course Izuku just couldn’t leave it be, his danger sense seemed to agree with him.  Besides, it was tiring to just wait. He needed to do something. And then the idea came. It took a while to convince Best Jeanist of his plan, but in the end, it worked. 

With the help of a Transformation quirk-user, Izuku had a new face and body so he was free to do whatever he wanted without risking recognition. 

He had to admit, he enjoyed vigilante work way more than he should (even though thas was part of what he was trying to keep from happening). And it was the perfect tactic. If he started acting out as a vigilante, then the probability of running into someone that did know anything about those fighting classes would be way higher than if he kept acting just as a hero. 

He often had to do his internship hours as Izuku and then work some overtime across town in some random alley as ‘Mika’. And the only quirks he could rely on were Danger Sense and Float, because they were more subtle and since he’s been seen using all the others before, and he couldn’t risk using them. 

It was a lot of work. But one night, it finally paid off. 

He had just stopped a robbery at a convenience store when a brown-haired man approached him. “You fight well, kid!” The man said, way too close to his ear for comfort. “If you ever want to improve that and actually do something with it, I know a place that could help you.” He handed him a card and left. 

Izuku of course texted the number the very next day, thinking that this was it! But it wasn’t, not quite. 

He had to undergo a few interrogations and go through tons of seemingly mindless conversations before the guy even told him about the ‘academy’, which honestly looked more like a very organized and secret fight club than an academy per se. And it was easier than he would like to admit, playing that role. Of someone unsatisfied with the current system, wanting to do something on their own. Easy enough for a bad liar like Izuku to not get caught. 

The man said they would get in touch with him soon.

“And today, if it finally happened,” ‘Mika’ concluded. 

Todoroki and Bakugou were silent for a few seconds. Shouto mostly because he was expecting Bakugou to burst out at any moment, given the constipated face he had on. But when that didn’t happen, he decided to speak. “Midoriya… Why didn’t you tell us?”

Deku caught on the tone in the dual user voice. He was hurt, to say the least. And worried. “No one knew,” he shrugged. 

“But why? I mean, it’s not like anyone at the agency would tell on you.”

“Jeanist said-”

“I don’t give a fuck about what he said,” Bakugou finally spoke, voice cold as ice. “You should have told us.”

“Kacchan, I-”

“You’ve been doing this since November?” 

Izuku took a breath. “Around mid november, yeah.”

“Well, fuck you.” Bakugou said before getting up, and heading to god knows where. He just needed to calm down to not hit Deku in the face right there. Okay, it’s not like he didn’t know the nerd was doing something, he just… Fuck, fine. He just felt left out. Fuck you, Jeanist. 

After a few minutes of just walking around the train, Deku met him in the hallway. He raised his eyebrows, obviously in a question. Bakugou huffed, but leaned against the wall, opening space for the conversation to start. 

Izuku leaned on the blond’s side, shoulder to shoulder, took a deep breath and let out “I’m sorry.”

“You should have told me.”

“You would’ve wanted to be a part of it. I know you. Especially after you learned about the vigilante work.”

Katsuki frowned. “Yeah, I fucking would’ve, so what? You-” and then it hit him. “You didn’t want me?”

“It’s not that I didn’t want you! It’s just… Look, Jeanist said that it would be best if you didn’t join me on this. I asked, okay? C’mon, you’re always my partner on everything! Of course I wanted to do this with you. But he- he said something that I-” Green eyes met red and they just stared. Then they blinked, and Izuku looked away. “He said your quirk was too well known. They would have seen right through you.”

Bakugou pondered for a second. “Shit, fine, okay. You still could’ve told me.”

“If I did, you would always be on my heels, one way or the other.”

“The fuck do you even mean?”

“It’s just- Look, I didn’t tell you mostly because I knew you wouldn’t let me do this on my own. I know you don’t trust me to do that, but I-”

“Wait, I never said that!”

“You don’t have to. The fact that you’re here just confirms that. And I know you said it’s just back up, but-” He sighed. “I just needed to do this on my own, okay? This one thing. So please don’t make this about you anymore, alright?”

Katsuki was about to talk back again but something in Izuku’s eyes made him back down. They could store that for later, they had to focus on other things now. “Ok, fine.”

“And please understand that I know what I’m doing.” Bakugou nodded. Hesitantly, but did it anyway. “Promise me you’ll trust me on this?” 

The blond sighed. “Yeah, fine.”

It wasn’t very convincing, but it was enough for now. “Okay, let’s go back. I need to go over a few things with you and Todoroki before we arrive.”

— - — - —

It was almost dark when they arrived close to the coordinates on Deku’s phone. It was behind an abandoned hydroelectric plant. Neither Katsuki nor Shouto were really enjoying this, but Izuku said he wasn’t getting any strong warning from Danger Sense - yet, so it was okay.

“Alright, you two need to stay as far away from me as you can. I’d ask you two to stay up here and hide, but I already know you’ll refuse to do that. Just… Be careful. No one can even dream that you two are here. And don’t do anything unless I activate smokescreen, got it?”

“Will do, Midoriya.”

“Kacchan?” 

Katsuki only stared at him, wanting to say more, to do more, “Yeah, fine nerd. Just be careful.”

“I will,” he left the two and entered the forest that surrounded them. 

The boys waited a good ten minutes before following Izuku, and the moment he was in their sight, around 300m away, they stopped. 

‘Mika’ had already met who she was supposed to. There were three men in front of her, but Katsuki couldn’t get a good description because there was not enough light anymore. But fuck what Deku said, something was very off. Inviting a girl to talk in the middle of nowhere like this? No ‘secret’ academia would do this unless it was the shadiest of things. And why so far from where the person approached Mika in the first place? 

And it was worse that he couldn’t hear what they were talking about. Couldn’t see their expressions. Couldn’t fucking do anything. 

He was, however, able to see one thing. The man on the right grabbed something on his back and walked towards Mika. His heart stopped. He moved a bit trying to get a better angle to confirm, but then-

“That’s a gun?” Shouto whispered next to him. And indeed it was. 

Before Bakugou knew, he was popping himself forward, ignoring the call back behind him. The three man instantly recognized that they were set up, and they put up a fighting stance.

On the left, the man activated his quirk, conjuring a crackling whip of electricity from his hand, and charged toward Bakugou, and the boy met him with ferocity.  

“Dynamight, what are you doing?” Izuku charged to the middle one - the one who had the gun. He is quirk created aa shimmering aura making it challenging to track his movements. But despite being trapped in a small girl's body, which wasn't his own, but Deku had great reflexes, with every calculated move, he maintained the pressure on his adversary.

“I’m helping you!” Bakugou shouted, swiftly evading the crackling whip and delivering a powerful punch to the villain's face.

“I didn’t give you a fucking signal!”

"He had a gun pointed at you! That was signaling enough!"

Behind him, he saw Todorki advancing on the last guys. He couldn’t understand the guy’s quirk, but he only saw sharp things flying, like glass or glass. It didn’t matter, Todoroki had him. 

"But Danger Sense hadn't kicked in! It would have been fine!" Deku argued amidst the chaos of the battle.

"How the fuck do you know that?" Bakugou retorted sharply. "Are you going to keep doing reckless shit just because this second-hand quirk didn't alarm you?"

"Yes! That is exactly what this quirk is about!" Deku responded passionately. "So I can do dangerous things without worrying every single second!"

"And that is just plain stupid, you idiot!" Bakugou retorted, his frustration evident.

"Fuck, Kacchan, you can be so infuriating!" Deku exclaimed, frustration and exhaustion coloring his voice. "This is why I didn't fucking tell you about this!"

Confusion clouded Bakugou's face. "What the fuck does that mean, Deku?"

“Can you two stop arguing and focus?!” Todoroki tried to intervene.

“I would if you didn’t fuck up all the time!”

“Fuck up? When did I ever?”

“Oh, so now you think you always do shit perfectly? Wake up! If I weren’t by your side, you would have been fucking dead by now! How do you even expect to save others when you can’t even save yourself!? Some fucking heir you are! ”

“You know, you really should learn when to keep your mouth shut”

Bakugou couldn’t begin to describe what he saw in Deku’s eyes. Hurt. Anger. Disappointment . Only then his mind processed what he said. He wished to say he didn’t mean it, because he really didn’t. He wished to say that he was mad at himself for being reckless and unprofessional. He wished to apologize for lashing out on Deku, again. 

Some fucking heir you are. 

He was paralyzed. He couldn’t believe he picked Izuku’s biggest insecurity and threw it at him like that. It felt like the person he was building himself to be just crumbled, leaving only a 1st year version of himself. He was sure Deku saw it too. Because that look…

That look didn’t last long. 

Something shifted in Deku’s eyes, and Kastuki saw determination mixed with desperation. He saw Izuku’s mouth move, but didn’t catch what he said. Then, before he knew, Deku, in that small foreign female body of his, jumped at him, knocking him on the ground. Bakugou blinked, and Deku was off him already, floating away.

It happened fast, but he managed to see what happened. Wrapped around Deku’s waist was a white string of shimmering light. Lightning. The villain’s quirk. He got distracted, and the villain used that to attack him. Deku saw it. He protected him. Again. Putting himself in danger. Again. Then izuku was out of his sight, being thrown away behind the trees. 

Bakugou’s eyes locked on two villains grinning in front of him. He was furious. That fight was already taking too long. He was at a small disadvantage, it was 2 on 1, he didn’t have his uniform, and it was cold so he wasn’t sweating too much. However, in that moment his palms were sweating more than usual because of his stupid fight with Izuku, and he could use that. 

Bakugou stood his ground and yelled, “Get back, Candy Cane!”. Shoto jumped back at the nickname. He knew what was coming. 

The explosions started to form on his hands as he announced, “Howitzer Impact”, leaping forward and taking the two villains down with a huge explosion. The movement was even bigger than he anticipated, because nitroglicerin is unstable at cool temperatures, and it ended up knocking the guy Todoroki was fighting too. 

After a few seconds, the dust settled down a bit and they could see their surroundings. He had completely taken down a few trees that were in the way of his explosion, while leaving others on fire, which actually helped lighten up the space and give him more visibility. The villains had all passed out, but the electricity and the mirror ones suffered most of the impact of the attack and ended up a little bit too hurt, but right now he couldn’t care.

“Deku!!” Katsuki screamed as loud as he could. He kept looking in the direction the boy was thrown, waiting for him to come back, or yell that he was okay. But nothing came. “Deku, where the hell are you?!” He yelled again, walking into the trees leavin the scene behind. His chest was screaming. It was dark now, without the fire. He created some explosions in his hands but it wasn’t enough. 

“Half’n’half! Give me some light!” He ordered loudly, and Todoroki showed up a few seconds later right after him, doing what he was asked to. “Deku!!” He continued to search.

“You think he’s passed out? How strong was that guy's voltage?” Todoroki asked. 

“I don’t fuckin know! But if the mother fucker isn’t answering, I think it might have-” Bakugou stopped himself. They had left the trees behind and were now standing in front of a lake. He felt the panic build his way in. 

He had completely forgotten about it, but they were near Lake Onogawa. Which wasn’t a huge lake, but it sure looked like an ocean right now. Because he knew Deku fell on it. He was sure of it. Because the lake was still frozen, but there was a hole a few meters ahead of them. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He ran to the lake and started exploding the ice with zero effort, his palms sweating more than they ever did. “Melt this shit down!” He yelled, unnecessarily, for Shoto was already giving all he had to melt the ice. It took about two minutes for them to melt the ice off that portion of the lake. They really hoped Deku hadn’t gone too far. 

Bakugou and Todoroki both flew up and started searching, but it was impossible to see anything. The fire Todoroki used to light up the scene only reflected on the water, making it even harder to see what was under it, so he stopped using it. 

They searched closer to the lake, diving in the water like hunting seagulls, but always came back empty handed. 

The panic was getting bigger and bigger. Bakugou felt his vision blurry multiple times, over nausea, despair or tears. He blinked hard. Now is not the time. 

Time.

It’s been around five minutes since they got to the lake. How long has it been since he was thrown? Ten minutes? Less? More? 

He’s dead. A voice in his head said. You killed him. 

“Shut up!” He yelled at himself. He couldn't afford to think like that. The moment he let that thought take over him is the moment he loses Deku for good. He is not dead. I’ll save him. “I just need a fucking sign!” His eyes kept searching. C’mon, some movement, a piece of cloth, anything!  

He dove again, opening his eyes under water, as if it would help. It didn’t. He couldn’t see shit and it only made his eyes burn. He came back to the surface, popping his hands and impulsing himself up again. He was sure that if he wasn’t so nervous, he wouldn’t be able to do that. He was cold and wet. It was only a miracle that his quirk wasn’t betraying him.

He was shaking. He can’t lose him like this.

Now it has been, what? Almost 13 minutes? How long could someone be underwater and not die, anyway? He wondered. He knew that rules applied differently for cold water, but still, it’s been too long. 

Katsuki gathered all the strength he had in him and screamed again, hoping, from the bottom of his soul, that anyone in the universe heard and helped him. 

“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?” 

Bakugou is not a religious person. He didn’t believe in god and thought he never would. He thought that depending on some greater force for help was stupid and only for the weak. But right then, he promised himself that he would visit every temple in Japan and worship every single god there was, because someone had listened to him. 

He saw, a little north from where he was, a green light. He flew there and dove again, and this time when he opened his eyes, it wasn’t dark. He could see, a little deeper, a body floating, covered in green electricity. 

One for all had been activated. And if one for all was active then it meant he was still alive, right?

Maybe someone inside the vestiges wasn’t in the mood of dying and activated the quirk for him. He didn’t know. He didn’t care. He asked for a sign, he got one. And Deku was there, in front of him - his body back to his original self. 

Katsuki swam further down until he grabbed Izuku’s arm, pulled him to him, embraced him and got back to the surface. Fuck, it’s hard to swim with someone else. 

“Todoroki!” He yelled. The boy was a few meters east and had just come out of the water as well. The moment he saw that Bakugou was holding something, he gasped and his heart ached. He didn’t want to admit it, but he had almost lost hope. 

Shoto immediately went to them, made an ice platform, helped put Midoriya in it and then pushed themselves to the nearest edge. 

Bakugou took the cold, motionless body into his arms and placed him on the ground while Todoroki put fire on the nearest trees to warm them up. Katsuki leaned in to check if Izuku was still breathing. He wasn’t. Then he checked his neck for a pulse. There was none. But One for All activated, he can’t be dead. He can’t! He pleaded inside his head. 

“Don’t you fucking dare do this to me!” He kneeled on the left side of Deku’s body, interlaced his finger, straightened his arms, locking his elbow, and started compressing Deku’s chest. One, two, three, four… “Breathe, you piece of shit!” Seven, eight, nine, ten... He had to breathe. "C'mon, damn it!!" Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen... "Get the water out of your stupid lungs already, you idiot. Please, please, please !".

"Bakugou, stop!!" Todoroki pushed him to the side, making him fall to the ground.

"What the fuck?" He screamed, ready to retake his place and continue the cardiac massage, but Todoroki was faster and replaced him.

"Your quirk is out of control! You’re gonna finish the job and kill him. Now please calm down and call someone" His voice was incredibly authoritative, steady and calm. Too calm.  

Bakugou processed what Todoroki had said. My what? He looked at his hands - shaken hands - and then to where Todoroki had placed his own. And under them, he saw the small burns he’d caused on Izuku's shirt and chest. Fuck! He didn’t even realize his quirk had gone off. What the hell is going on with me? 

He took a deep breath. Get yourself together. He searched his pockets for his radio and once again believed in miracles, because it was still there. He searched for the right frequency and reported the incident to the police. He said they needed medical assistance immediately. “How many people need it, Mr. Dynamight?” Said the voice on the line. He almost said just one, because those stupid assholes villains could die and he wouldn’t care less. He clenched his fist and said between his teeth, “four”, then put the radio down. 

Then he finally looked at Deku. He was dangerously pale, even in the yellow light of the fire. His veins were slightly visible. His freckles were so dark on his skin that they looked almost artificial, like someone tattooed them. His lips were blue. One of his eyes was half open, but you could only see the white of it.

He couldn’t help the nausea he felt. He turned aside and puked. He cleaned his mouth with the back of his hand and gathered courage to look at Deku again. He looks dead. 

"I can't fucking believe you haven’t been killed by All for One and gonna die like this!!” He screamed, hands popping, chest screaming, cold tears streaming down in his face. And the irony is that he wasn’t even hurt. I mean, he had one scratch here and there, but nothing serious. He might even have a concussion for when he hit the ice but… he was fine.  

In all those times he saw Deku wrecked, blood all over him, bones sticking out, nothing ever brought that level of panic to him. Because then, even hurt like that, he was breathing. His heart was beating.

I know he has gone through real bad shit, but I don’t ever remember seeing his body so… lifeless. 

And it’s my fault. You’re gonna die, and i’ts my fault. 

"He's not going to die, Bakugou!" Todoroki said, before going for another mouth-to-mouth breathing. He was impressed at how well Icy-Hot was performing CPR, his moves were methodical and calculated, as it should be. As Katsuki should have been. 

He never thought he would feel this level of panic in his life, and he had pretty traumatic moments. But shit, this was different. Worse. Something horrible was happening to someone he lo- deeply cared about, and he couldn't do anything but watch. Deku was dying in front of him and he was useless, helpless. 

It should have been him there, saving Izuku’s life. Not fucking Icy-Hot. It’s his childhood friend, it’s his rival, it’s his… It doesn’t matter. He was the one who was supposed to do that. But he was too over himself. He couldn’t focus. He felt like puking whenever he looked at him. You’re fucking pathetic, Katsuki.  

This was his worst nightmare coming true

Then he heard a "clack" sound.

"Did you break his ribs?" Bakugou clenched his jaw, ready to take Todoroki by his collar and throw him at the lake.

"Calm down! You know this is normal. I've been doing this for a while now, it was bound to happen.”

Katsuki bit his lips so hard he felt blood coming out of it. How long is he performing CPR? Is there even a time to stop? To quit? It doesn’t matter. The time to stop is when he breathes again. There’s no other option. 

Todoroki repeated the sequence of the CPR five more times before he heard Deku coughing, expelling the water from his lungs and taking a breath after twenty minutes. That was the best sound they have heard their entire lives. 

Shoto got off him, sat by his side and looked up at Bakugou. "See, I told you he wouldn't die."

Bakugou fell on his knees on the other side of Midoriya's body staring at him, too scared to touch him, even though he wanted to. Without moving, Katsuki asked “Use your quirk to keep him warm". And Todoroki did, evaporating the water from the boy’s clothes and using his right hand to warm up his chest. Bakugou turned his eyes for a moment to look at Shoto and noticed that he was also trembling a lot. Maybe Todoroki wasn't as calm as he thought he was.

After what felt like forever, the paramedics got there. They took Deku and the three villains right away, but since Dynamight and Shoto were both unharmed, they were asked to go to the police station to give their statement of what happened. 

Before they got in the police car, Todoroki dried up his and Bakugou’s clothes. Bakugou said he didn’t want to, but the officers insisted. 

At the station, the officers contacted Best Jeanist agency to confirm their story, which he did. Then, the hero demanded to talk with the Dynamight, but Bakugou couldn’t do it. He couldn’t speak. The only person that had talked so far was Shoto. So he passed the phone down to him. 

After about a minute of ‘yes, sir’ and ‘will do, sir’, Todoroki talked to Katsuki.  “He wants us back. There’s a helicopter from an agency nearby that will take us home.” Bakugou frowned and Todoroki understood the question. “He is flying to the hospital, since Midoriya is under his responsibilities.” Bakugou only nodded.

In less than twenty minutes, they were in the helicopter going back home. They were in silence for about an hour until Bakugou spoke, “Hey,” his voice was the lowest and weakest Todoroki had ever heard, “thank you”.

“What did you just say?” Todoroki gasped. 

“I am not repeating myself. I panicked and you handled it fine” Kastuki had his glare fixed on the window.

“I wouldn’t say fine.” Shoto stared down at his hands. He was ashamed of himself too. He remembered thinking ‘this is it, we lost him’ right before Bakugou called his name. He was almost giving up on him, and he couldn’t believe he did that when he knew Midoriya would look for him until dawn if necessary.

“Still, I fucked up and you had it under control. You saved him, so yeah.”

Shoto sighed. “You are being too hard on yourself. There’s a reason doctors, heroes, firefighters and, anyway, you got my point, there’s a reason why they shouldn’t help people they are too close to. We lose our judgement, do stupid things, and we panic. It’s normal, so don’t beat yourself up”.

“You’re close to him. You’re his best friend.”

“It’s not the same. I cannot even begin to describe the relationship you two have. And you were the one who found him. So I’ll say it again: do not. beat yourself over this.” He lifted his eyes and looked at him. After a few seconds of uncomfortable staring, they broke eye contact and remained silent for the rest of the way.

It was past midnight when they got to the dorms and Aizawa was waiting for them. Maybe the teacher was waiting to say something to them, reprimand them for their mistakes or whatever, Bakugou didn’t know. But the teacher didn’t even say anything when he saw the look on his students’ faces. Maybe he’d let Best Jeanist say whatever it needed to be said.

He only patted them on the shoulder and made them eat and drink something warm before sending them off to bed. Bakugou fought back because he wasn’t hungry, but Aizawa wasn’t giving in, so he ate.

Bakugou was exhausted. He felt like he could sleep for years. But the moment he closed his eyes, blue lips, dark freckles and purple veins came to his mind, so he opened them immediately. 

Needless to say, he didn’t sleep.

Chapter Text

Bakugou couldn’t close his eyes, so he turned on the lights and tried to read something. He spent the whole night on the same page. 

Around 4am, he got a message from Best Jeanist saying that Deku had woken up. 

“Hi. He woke up, he’s fine. However, he did show some speech impediments.”

I fucked him up. He would be fine if it wasn’t for me. Bakugou gathered the courage to read the rest of the message.

“But the doctors said his scans were fine, and his brain had no visible damage. 

It will probably wear off by the end of the day. They are holding him up for observation.

This is normal after spending so long without oxygen. 

So don’t worry.”

Don’t worry.

After reading that message, Bakugou cried. Not sure if it was from relief, or from still being mad at himself. 

The next day, Todoroki and Bakugou were in class as if nothing had happened. 

There was no one on the desk behind Bakugou, but no one really worried about it. It was Deku, after all. The boy was known to miss classes because he was in the hospital, for he always overdid it. He overlooked his own safety. As long as everyone was safe, he didn’t matter. 

It was a known fact. 

So when Aizawa announced to the class that Midoriya was recovering from yesterday's fight, people just shrugged. Some of his closer friends frowned and started typing on their phone, probably texting him. But that was all. 

And usually, even Bakugou would just react like that. Get his phone and text something around the words ‘you’re a fucking idiot!’, or ‘Stupid dumbass, you should be more careful’ or ‘can’t beat me if you’re dead’. He always got worried, of course, but he also got mad at him every time he put himself in the hospital. He hated the self-sacrificing nature of Deku.

But today? He just sulked in his chair, burying himself behind his desk, because the guilt was too heavy on him. Because Deku hadn’t been hurt. He had died. Died, because of him. 

Because he had meddled when Deku had asked him not to. Because he didn’t wait for his cue. Because he blew up Deku’s entire investigation and disguise. Because he jumped into a fight without analyzing the bigger picture. Because he was unprofessional. Because his head melted down after Deku looked at him like that, disappointed. Because he got distracted. Because Deku pushed him out of the way, and got hit in his place. Because he took too long to find him. Because he messed up and freaked out when he should have saved him. 

Because he was weak. 

The day went by and he didn’t even notice. Some people talked to him but he wasn’t sure he answered, and if he did, it was in auto-pilot. He didn’t go to the agency, and didn’t bother giving no one a heads up about it. The evening came, and he forced himself to help with dinner, because if he didn’t, people would ask questions, and because cooking kept his mind out of things.

But at night, it was just like the day before. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw him. He didn’t sleep again.

The next day went by just the same. No Deku, no talking, no work, no sleeping.

Midoriya only came back to the dorms two days after the incident, at dinner time. Katsuki was finishing frying some tempura when he heard the commotion that welcomed him. He turned off the stove, washed his hands and got out, not bothering tasting the food he prepared. He thought he could hear a cry, “ Kacchan, wait”, as he climbed the stairs, but his body couldn’t manage to respond. 

Bakugou fell on the bed as soon as he entered his room. He didn’t know how long he spent staring at his ceiling before he fell asleep. To be honest, when the alarm clock went off the next morning, he wasn’t sure he even slept at all. 

In class, Midoriya didn’t talk once, which was odd of him. But Bakugou appreciated he didn’t get to hear the boy’s voice. He honestly didn’t know what his reaction would be if he did. Later, Midoriya went to work, and he stayed at UA to attend some of his elective classes. 

When Deku was back to the dorms, Bakugou was already in his room. 

Izuku ate something quickly and went up to the fourth floor and knocked on the boy’s door. No one answered. “Kacchan? Can we talk?” Silence. “Please?” More silence. “I’ve been texting you, but you haven’t been checking your phone.”

Bakugou chest hurt. He was already crying. It started the moment he heard him say his nickname. Why? He didn’t know. Maybe because he thought he would never hear it again? Because the last thing he would have heard from him, if he had… it would be that disappointed tone when he spoke?

The look from that moment came back to his mind. Katsuki could handle the hurt and the anger just fine. He was used to it by now. He had screwed up and hurt him too many times before to not know that look. But he had never seen disappointment in them.

God, he felt awful. He was disappointed in himself. He fucked up so bad that day. He was sure Deku had complained to Jeanist about how he acted. He was sure the messages on his phone would tell him that he was fired, for fucking up the investigation. It was Deku telling him he didn’t need him. It was Half’n’half mocking him for freaking out. That’s why he couldn’t pick the phone up.

He felt sick again and ran to his bathroom and pucked again. 

He didn’t notice when Deku left.

The next day, Izuku didn’t try to reach him. However, at lunch, someone else tried to talk to him. 

“This is getting ridiculous.” Todoroki said, sitting in front of him. 

Fuck. Can’t he read the room? Bakugou had sat on a very distant table, at the corner almost near the bathroom. Worst place to sit. His friends had gotten the message. Why didn’t he? He didn’t answer. Maybe he would go away then. Spoiler alert, he didn’t.

“Best Jeanist is worried about you. You still haven’t shown up at the agency or even replied to his emails and texts. He is not mad at you, just so you know. He admitted that it was their mistake. You don’t need to be afraid to go there.”

“I’m not afraid!” Bakugou growled. 

“Oh, you can talk.” He deadpanned. Bakugou huffed going back to eating. “As I was saying, no one at work is mad at you. Well, except for Midoriya. He is furious.” The blond clenched his jaw. I know he is, I fucked things up for him. “But it’s not because of what happened.” Todoroki tilted his head to the side, analysing Katsuki’s reaction. Crimson eyes looked up at him. There was too much in them that Shoto just couldn’t understand. He continued, “He is mad because you’re ignoring him.”

“I’m not ignoring him!” He defended. 

“Yeah, right.” He scoffed. “He’s not an idiot, Bakugou!”

“I know he’s not! I- Fuck, why am I trying to explain myself to you? I owe you nothing, you piece of shit.”

“You’re right, you owe me nothing. But I’m sure you owe Midoriya at least an explanation as to why you are giving him the silent treatment.” Todoroki got up from the table without finishing his meal. “And you owe your boss an explanation too as to why you skipped work two days in a row.” Said that, he went away, disappearing in the crowd of students. 

He hated to admit it, but Todorki was right. So after lunch, Katsuki gathered enough courage to go to work. He had to show up at some point. 

That day, thankfully, Best Jeanist was dealing with some shit uptown and wasn’t there to scold him on his unprofessionalism. When he walked to his work station, there was a shit ton of paperwork he needed to get down with. He spent the whole day at that. 

By the end of his shift, he saw Deku entering the agency door. Shit! He forgot that he was patrolling today, that’s why he didn’t see him there. He sank in his chair, but it was too late, Deku had seen him. Katsuki sighed, waiting with his eyes closed for the boy to approach him. And he waited, and waited. But he never came. He opened his eyes and Deku was nowhere to be seen. 

He didn’t know if he was relieved or disappointed. 

Back to the dorms, he went straight to the bathroom and then to bed. He wasn’t hungry and he was tired. But again, whenever he closed his eyes, the visions came. Ah, fuck it! It’s been a while since he hasn't taken his meds and he wanted to keep that way. He doesn't like the effects of it. He feels useless when he wakes up and it makes his quirk a little bit weaker. 

However, he hasn't slept for three days. Because he knows if does, he’ll have a nightmare, he will explode shit in his sleep, and he will wake up tired anyway. But this no sleeping thing was starting to take his toll on him and he couldn’t take it any longer. So he went to his nightstand and took his orange flask in his hand. He grabbed one pill and stared at it.

He really didn’t want to go back to it. He was sleeping so well before... He could just call Deku. Sleep with him, and chase all the images of his lifeless body away. He could… But he shouldn’t. He didn’t have the right to. He almost killed him, and now he wants to use him as a sleeping pill? He took a deep breath and took the pill to his mouth, swallowing it. 

He kept his eyes open until he couldn’t anymore, and he slept, finally. He didn’t dream.

When his alarm clock went off, he snoozed it. And he did it again for another 5 times until he was able to bring himself out of bed. He felt drowsy and tired, not really rested. But it was still better than not having slept at all. 

He got downstairs to have breakfast and noticed he was the only one there. Did I oversleep? He looked at his phone and saw that it was still 6:20am. So, no, he hasn’t. But then he noticed. It was saturday.

“Fucking hell!” He muttered to himself.   He could have stayed in bed. He normally wouldn’t, anyway. But he could have. And he really wanted to. But he decided that now that he was up, he should stay up. So he prepared himself breakfast.

He finished his coffee and his scrambled eggs, but felt too - he couldn’t believe this - lazy to get up and clean everything. That’s why he hated the meds. He only started working around 10 am and it was pathetic. So he stayed on the counter, reading the news and mindlessly scrolling on his phone. 

Around 7:30, Tokoyami showed up. He just nodded at him then proceeded to do his stuff in silence, thank fuck. After him, Momo and Iida showed up, and Bakugou had enough. Soon the place would be full and his peace would be gone. He got up, cleaned the stuff he used, and went to his room. 

He wanted to sleep, but he refused. So he decided he would go for a run. His plan was to stay on UA grounds, but suddenly he saw himself outside of school. He didn’t care. 

After an hour of running, he got tired and started walking. Just then he realized he didn’t know where he was. Again, he didn’t care. After he felt rested enough, he ran some more. And he kept that rhythm, going god knows where, until the afternoon. 

His heart pumped, his lungs burned, his throat was dry, his legs trembled and his feet ached. He felt as if he could collapse on the street and stay there for hours. 

He felt great. 

Bakugou unlocked his phone for the first time since he left UA to check at the time and where he was. It was 4pm already and he was in a neighborhood an hour away from UA. He checked if there was any train station nearby, and there was. Okay, so twenty minutes from UA. 

As soon as he stepped inside the dorms, Kirishima came to him like a mother who was waiting for their son to come home. 

“Where the hell were you, bro?” His voice was full of concern. “No one saw you since morning, and I couldn’t reach you, and you’ve been acting really weird these days, and I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but man, you gotta know that I’m here for you, okay? For whatever you need!” Kirishima rattled, putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder. 

Bakugou shrugged it away, “Yeah, whatever”, and went to his room, without looking back to see what expression Kirishima was wearing right now.

He collapsed in bed and only woke up with his alarm clock the next day.

Katsuki woke up sore, smelly, thirsty and hungry. But none of that mattered. He felt fine, and rested for the first time in a while. He went downstairs and took a shower, drank almost 4 glasses of water, and ate french toast. He went back up before he could see anyone, and locked himself in his room, using the time he had to study. He had to finish some assignments anyway. 

He only got up from his study desk at 5pm. Again forgetting to eat, or to drink water, or to even go to the bathroom. Still, he wasn’t really hungry, so he ate a cereal bar he stored in his room and prepared himself some tea in the electric kettle.  

He was drinking it while he watched the sun go down through the balcony door. He took a deep breath. Bakugou was feeling fine. He really was. He even thought that maybe he wouldn’t need his meds today, after all. 

But he celebrated too soon. 

There was a knock on his door. “Kacchan? Can we please talk?” Izuku’s voice was small on the other side of the door. God, he missed his voice. He missed all of him. He wanted to open the door and hold him and never let him go. But he couldn’t. “I know you’re in there. Open the door, please.” 

Katsuki got out of bed before he noticed, and stopped by the door. His hand on the doorknob, not sure what to do. Deku spoke again. “I know you haven’t been eating right, so I brought you some spice ramen of that place you like.” 

Oh, for fuck’s sake! Stupid thoughtfull asshole! He opened the door before he could stop himself. The moment his eyes met with Izuku’s, his heart stopped. They were shining, probably happy to finally have a chance to talk to him. They were merciful and forgiving, all that Katsuki needed right now. Nothing that he deserved. 

“Get out.” Wait, what? “I don’t want that stupid shit and I don’t need you to take care of me.” 

“Kacchan?” His voice was wobbly. Izuku’s eyes made that expression again. No, stop. I lied. I do need it, I don’t mean that! I don’t! 

“Look, I’m done, okay? I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking but this ain’t gonna work.” STOP, KATSUKI.  

“I don’t…” Izuku’s eyes, eyes that were full of life and tenderness before, were losing their sparkle. 

“You don’t what? Don’t understand? Are you seriously that fucking dumb? We’re over!” Izuku started crying. Please, stop crying. I don’t want to say any of this. Fight back. Stop me, please. Fight back. Don’t let me do this. “I’m tired of whatever that shitshow was. So now can you please fuck off and leave me alone?” 

God, he had seen Deku hurt before, but that was a whole new level. His face was still, and he just let the tears stream down. His eyes not focusing on anything. Shit, what did I do? Izuku didn’t move or say anything for over a minute, neither did Katsuki. But fuck, he wished Deku had screamed at him. Wished he had punched him. Put sense into his mind. Snap him out of whatever the fuck he was doing, because he didn’t want to do that. He didn’t know why he was doing it, he-

“Okay.” Izuku finally spoke. No. No. No. NO. Please don’t accept this. You never let me push you away before, don’t let me do it now. C’mon Izuku, you know me better than this, don’t go away. But he did go away. Head down. Crying. Without a fight. 

When Deku was finally out of sight, Katsuki collapsed. He fell on his knees with the door still open and cried, just like Izuku has. Face still, and tears running. What did I do? What did I do? What the fuck did I do? 

Then, he noticed a white bag by his side. The stupid fucking ramen Deku had left it there. He grabbed it and went back inside. It was still warm. It smelled so nice. 

“FUCK!” He screamed, throwing the bag to his wall with an explosion. When he saw the mess he made, with ramen on his wall, carpet, mattress and curtains, he sobbed. Anger, madness, hurt, shame, sadness, rage. He cried it all out, hugging his body to contain the convulsions. 

At some point during his breakdown, he sensed someone getting in his room, but his vision was so blurry and his mind so foggy that he couldn’t understand what was happening. He knows that after a while he fell asleep. Actually, ‘fall asleep’ is an understatement. His body just couldn’t take it anymore and shut down. 

When he came back to his senses, he realized he wasn’t in his room anymore. Yet, it wasn’t a strange place. It was Kirishima’s room. It was dark and quiet. Katsuki looked around and saw the redhead on his computer at his desk. “What time is it?” He asked.

Kirishima turned around instantly, his face only a silhouette against the computer light. “Hey, bro.” He knew better than to ask if he was okay, so he just answered. “It’s almost midnight.” 

“And what the fuck are you still doing up?” His voice was low and had no real poison in it. 

“I’m running late on this assignment.” Eijiro shrugged.

“Hm.” Bakugou tried to get up, but felt his whole body ache. Some of the ache was from yesterday’s walk, but there was something else. Something more stringent. “Ow, what the hell?” He looked down at himself and he had bandages over his arms and torso. 

“I couldn’t find that medicine you used to put in when you got burned, so I just used a normal one. Sorry!” Kirishima had taken care of his burns a thousand times before in their first year when Bakugou was having a bad time. He hoped he’d never have to do it again, though.

“Ah, yeah.” He remembered now, of losing control of his quirk but also not being able to stop hugging himself. “That shit’s at home. Thanks for the help, anyway.” He could deal with that pain just fine, so he got out of bed and walked to the door. “Sorry for all the trouble.”

“Ow, wow, wow! Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Kirishima jumped in front of him, stopping his self pity walk. 

“To my room. Have to clean that shit before it stains everything.” 

“Yeah, don’t worry. Kami, Mina and Sero took care of that.” Kiri assured him. 

“What?” He was genuinely set back by that. 

“Yeah. You are having a hard time already, we knew the last thing you would want was to have to deal with that when you woke up.” Eijiro smiled. Now that Katsuki’s eyes had adjusted to the lack of light, he could see his expression. 

Bakugou’s chest squeezed. That was a fucking nice gesture of them. And he would pay it back to them. Someday. “Good, so there’s no reason that I shouldn’t go back to my room.” He tried to turn around Kirishima, but the boy didn’t let him. 

“Actually, there are a few reasons. First: your bed is still wet. Second: your room still smells like spicy ramen. And third: I know you don’t sleep well when you’re like this, so I’m keeping you company. So please just… chill?” He held the blond shoulders and slowly pulled him to a light hug. When Bakugou didn’t push back, he hugged tighter. “Please. Let me help, alright? I won’t ask what happened and I won’t meddle. I’ll just be here for you, okay? At least until you feel like talking about it.” He stepped away and looked into the blonde's eyes. They were tired, and wet. Bakugou just nodded and went back to bed.

Kirishima remembered a while back that he felt a little jealous of Midoriya for being able to see Bakugou’s vulnerable side. For being able to see him cry. And now that Kirishima had seen it, he felt terrible for having once wished for that. He had always been there for the aftermatch. Never for when it really happened. 

And now that he’s seen it, he didn’t want to see that ever again. 

He hadn’t finished what he needed to on the computer, but he didn’t care. He shut it down and lied down next to Katsuki. He held him from behind and the boy moved to fit under his embrace, just like they did multiple times before.

It didn’t take long for both of them to fall asleep. However, Kirishima could swear he felt Katsuki sobbing in the middle of night. 

Going to class Monday morning was the hardest thing Katsuki ever did. He had lost his confident way of walking, and only looked down. He couldn’t risk crossing his eyes with Deku, not even for a second. So he didn’t notice that the boy’s eyes were as big and red as his. 

He also didn’t get to see the look on his classmates face. Sympathetic, worried and confused. They’d never seen those two like that. They have fought before, sure, but they never acted like the other wasn’t there. All their fights were filled with taunted words, bickering, fists and screams. Never silence.

The first week went by silently between the two of them. They didn’t say good morning in class, they didn’t talk at work, they didn’t meet to make group assignments.

To Midoriya, that was the worst moment of their relationship ever. The silence was worse than the bullying. He’d rather have Kacchan yell at him, and beat him up, and call him names than having him not look at him at all. But then again, what would he do if Kacchan looked at him? Smile? Cry? Yell?

Izuku knew it would be only a matter of time before Kacchan got tired of him. He knew reality would come over him eventually and he’d end things. He just… expected to have more time. 

But in the heat of the moment he said things he didn’t want to, pushing Katsuki away for good.

He didn’t mean to tell him that he’d screwed things up. Izuku knew that if it was the other way around, he would have done the same thing. He had told him that what they were doing was within the plan, that them holding him down and giving him the enhance-quirk drug was part of it. But the truth was that he wasn’t sure if he would be able to control OFA if they’d given him the drug. So maybe it was good that Kacchan intervened. 

He wanted to tell him that. Tell him that he was sorry. That he shouldn’t worry. That he did need him. But Katsuki didn’t want to listen.  

By the time February ended, the sleeping pills stopped working and Katsuki started having nightmares again. They started small, and he wouldn’t wake up because of it. Until they grew, and he was filled with images of death, of water, of fire. He dreamed of losing fights and people, losing his friends and family. And losing Deku, over and over again. 

The first night he woke up at night because of his quirk, Kirishima tried to get into his room, but he didn’t let him in. Not even in the second, or the third. After a week, he didn’t have a choice. 

When Bakugou went to his room that night, Kirishima was in front of the door. As soon as the redhead saw him, he activated his quirk. Bakugou rolled his eyes.

“Are you fucking serious?” He growled. “Get the fuck out!”

“Yes, I am. And no, I won’t. It’s getting as bad as Kamino and if you won’t let me in in the middle of the night, then I’ll start the night with you.” Kirishima’s tone was certain. He wouldn’t give in, Katsuki knew it. But he could at least try.

“Fine, you can plant yourself there. I’ll just go through the balcony!” He turned on his feet and started walking towards the stairs when Kirishima spoke. 

“Like Midoriya used to do?” Within a second Bakugou was already on his throat, his hands popping. But Kirishima didn’t move. Bakugou could do whatever he wanted to, the boy was not letting it go today. 

“You said you wouldn’t fucking meddle!” Bakugou wore a killer expression on his face, but his eyes were far too sad to match it. 

“Yeah, almost a month ago. It’s past time I meddle. I don’t know exactly what kind of relationship you two had, but I noticed a few things. And I heard your last argument in the hallway.” Eijiro sighed and deactivated his quirk. “It’s time we talk about this, Kats. This is getting ridiculous and you know it.”

Bakugou sighed, losing his fight. Yeah, he knew it. 

He signed to the side and Kirishima got out of the way. He opened the door and got in, leaving it open behind him. He didn’t spare a glance back, he only flopped down on his bed, and kept staring at the ceiling. It was only after he heard the door closing and the weight of someone on the chair by his desk that he started talking. 

“It should have been hard, you know?” 

“What should?”

“Me and Deku! It should have been fucking hard! I should have fought back whatever I felt. It should have been difficult for us to get on the same page. We should have argued more. Pushed and pulled like we always did. I mean, you know us! Our relationship was always fucked up, so it should… It should have been hard.”

“But it wasn’t…?” Kirishima let out a half question. 

When Bakugou answered, he smiled. Sad and broken, but happy in his own way. “No. It was the easiest shit in the world.”

“Tell me about it?”

And Bakugou did. 

Aizawa, just as everyone else, had noticed that something was terribly wrong between Bakugou and Midoriya. He didn’t know if he should meddle or not. He knew it was something personal. However, it was affecting their school life and their work, by what Best Jeanist had said. 

The day Bakugou came to him and asked not to be put together with Midoriya in groups and battle practices, he made up his mind. He would give them time. They had always come around before, so it shouldn’t be any different now. 

Except it was. 

It’s been over a month since they last shared a word. And he decided he’d had enough of this stupid thing between his students. They were a great duo, and he wouldn’t let him lose the great work dynamic they had over whatever was happening. 

So that day, on March 20th, he decided to put the two of them to work together again. 

The assigned task was to capture a villain, played by a special AI robot the support course made. There were three types, high-speed robot, laser weapon robots, and giant robots. It was supposed to be an easy exercise. But the trick was, the robot and the environment should receive little to no damage. They needed to learn how to capture fast, without hurting the villain too much. 

Bakugou could swear Aizawa met his eyes more times than necessary when explaining the task, and he knew it was because he had gone out too strongly on the villains by the lake. Fuck, all the times he had thought about that day, he had neven even paid too much thought on it. Even when Best Jeanist had called his attention to it, his mind deleted all the words the man said. It wasn’t his fault the hero decided to talk to him on that Monday afternoon, a day after he and Deku fought. 

Well, he and Deku didn’t actually fight. That stupid asshole didn’t even try to fight him, hadn’t tried to approach him after that either, nothing. But he couldn’t blame him, could he? After what he’d done, Deku was right to stay the hell away from him. Maybe his plan was to break up with him after all. That’s why he’d come that day and why he’d accepted it so easily. Katsuki just did the dirty work for him. 

His mind was drifting when he heard Aizawa call his name. “Bakugou, you will be teamed up with Midoriya today.” 

“WHAT?” He reacted as his teacher expected. Aizawa didn’t skip a beat and continued to pair up the rest of the class.

Bakugou couldn’t say he was mad or angry to work with Deku again. That wasn’t it. But when he checked on Izuku far to his right, he realized that he was. His face was fumming, and for a moment, Bakugou swore he saw smoke coming out of his ears like an angry cartoon. Fuck.

They were assigned the high speed robot, and they would go first. Figures. Both of them walked in complete silence to the designated area, and Bakugou could feel the eyes of all his classmates on his back. Maybe not everyone knew what they had like Kirishima, but everyone knew some shit was about to blow down. 

The gates closed behind them, and a giant clock with the 20 minutes timer started. 

“We should split up to find it,” Deku announced, jumping to the nearest ‘building’ without even waiting for Bakugou to answer. They found the target about 5 minutes later around the same time. 

“I found him,” Bakugou’s voice echoed through the comms. He saw it walking aimlessly in direction of the main street.

“Yeah, me too. But don’t worry, I got him.”

Bakugou looked at their trackers on his wrist and he realized Deku was behind the target. He was at a L tangent with it. He had a better position. “Deku, I think I better-”

“No, I got it. Remember is little to no damage, and it’s high speed. I’ll hurt it less coming from behing than a huge shock on his spine from the side.”

“Spine? It’s a robot!” 

“Now! But in a situation like this, with a person, it might- Wait, it’s moving!” 

Bakugou heard the robot coming, and he knew he had a better chance. He knew Deku was fast, but he saw the distance he was, Deku wouldn’t get there in time. So he moved forward, explosion in his hand. 

And he got the target alright. But problem is, Deku did too, and the scream he let out was something Bakugou would never forget. 

“FUCK! FUCK FUCK, Izuku, I’m sorry!” But Deku didn’t respond, he couldn’t. He had his mouth open in a silent scream, eyes closed, not able to breath properly over the pain on his back and his left side. “Shit, shit, not again. Not-”

“Bakugou!” Aizawa called on the comms, “What happened?”

“I- I don’t know, I- We collided, Deku’s in pain, he- I hurt him, and-”

“Recovering Girl is on her way.”

Bakugou was notified on the group chat that Deku was cleared from the infirmary and was back on the dorms. He was okay. No permanent damage to the spine and he could move his right leg just fine thanks to Recovery Girl’s quirk. 

He was so relieved. And it wasn’t really a concious decision he made when he stormed his balcony door open and jumped down. He only noticed what he was doing when he was staring a wide-eyed Izuku in the middle of changing into his sweatpants. 

“Kacchan, what the fuck are you doing?” Izuku's voice grating as he stumbled towards the balcony door, hastily pulling up his pants and closing it to keep the chill of the early spring air at bay. 

Katsuki stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. His brows furrowed as he tried to recollect himself. "You didn't let me see you," he souded so out of breath, so out of himself. “I tried to see you, but- But you didn’t-” 

"Didn't think it would make a difference, anyway.” Izuku answered sharply, sitting on the edge of the bed, arms and legs crossed. “We haven't been talking."

The words hung in the air, a painful reminder of their fractured relationship. Katsuki's voice softened, the worry evident in his tone. "I just wanted know you were okay."

A bitter laugh escaped Izuku's lips. "Oh, so now you care?"

Katsuki's brows shot up and he took a step toward Izuku. "That's not fair. You know damn well I care about you!"

Izuku's eyes bore into Katsuki's. "Do you? Really?"

"Of course I do! Why else would I—" He took a deep breath, his desire to argue fading. He needed to make things right. "Just... Forget it. Are you okay?"

A bitter chuckle escaped Izuku's throat, his hurt seeping into his words. "Yeah, no thanks to you."

Katsuki's eyes widened and he stumbled. "Izuku, I—"

"It's Deku, to you," Izuku interjected, his tone firm and resolute.

"What?" Barely a whisper. 

"If you're gonna treat me like shit again, then you'd better do it right. I don't want you calling me by name while you treat me like that."

A mixture of frustration and disbelief washed over Katsuki. "Like what?! I haven't said or done anything to you recently!"

"Exactly!" Izuku's voice cracked with raw emotion, his eyes brimming a dangerous glow. "You haven't even looked at me for fucking weeks, Katsuki! You haven’t breathed in my direction, you haven’t- Argh! "

"Geez, what the fuck is up with you?" Katsuki's voice held a mix of exasperation and concern.

"I'm mad, okay?" Izuku's voice trembled with anger, his fists clenched by his sides. "I know this is new to you, but I'm fucking pissed at you!"

Katsuki's eyes narrowed, his frustration giving way to resignation. "Okay, fine. Whatever. I'll just leave you alone, then."

"No!" Izuku's voice rose, desperation lacing his words. "What the hell is wrong with you ! That's not what I want!"

"Then what the fuck do you want?" 

“I want you to talk to me!” Izuku started to tear up. “Look, I don’t know if you were already feeling trapped and used that as an escape, or if me saying that you screwed things up that day actually did the deed, or if it was something else. Whatever it is, I’m sorry, alright?!”

Wait… “What the hell are you talking about?”

Midoriya didn’t process the question and continued rattling. “I mean, I knew you would get tired of me, I knew that. I know I’m annoying, and I can be too much to handle. I know it, okay? And I understand if you don’t want anything with me anymore, I really do. I get it if that day made you realize that you were just done with me. But please I’m begging you, don’t push me away again. If it’s something I did, just tell me how to fix it!”

Bakugou had his whole face in a confused frown. “What the fuck do you mean?” He yelled in order to not be ignored this time. 

“You said that if this ended we would see what we were. And I’m begging, don’t shut me off. I was trying to give you some time, see if you would want our friendship back, and when you didn’t I- This hurts too much!” Izuku let out a sob, but he tried to control himself in order to keep talking. “I can’t pretend you’re not there. I want my friend back!” Bakugou was dumbfounded and still wasn’t sure of what was happening.

“I can’t go back to not being your friend. I can’t. But, if you really want that, it’s okay, I’ll do my best to stay away.” Izuku sniffed. “I just miss you, okay? So fucking much. And I need you. In any form I can get. As a friend, as a partner, as a lover. Anything. I just- I can’t lose you!” He buried his face on his hands and cried. 

For a while, Izuku’s crying was the only sound in the room. That until Katsuki could form a sentence to speak. “You- You think I’m mad at you?” Bakugou’s mind was still in the first part of the conversation. Did he spend all this time thinking I was mad at him ?

“Well, aren’t you?” Deku raised his face, still having a hard time fighting his tears. 

“Of course not! You were the one who were mad at me!”

Midoriya’s eyebrows met on his forehead. “No, I wasn’t!” 

“Well, you should’ve been!” He jolted back. 

"Why?”

“Because I fucked up!” Katsuki exploded, grabbing the collar of his own shirt. “I fucked up on so many levels! I almost killed you! Because of me, your whole investigation was blown up to bits. Because of me, that villain hit you. You drowned! Because of me! Because I couldn’t control myself! You were right, I didn’t wait for my cue, and because of my mistake I almost lost you! You were gone for almost 20 minutes! I don’t even know how the fuck you are still here! It’s a fucking miracle you’re talking, walking and fighting as if nothing happened! Because fuck, I killed you! I killed you!! How can I even look at you after that?”

Oh. Izuku realized how much of an idiot he had been. He should have realized that Kacchan wasn’t mad at him, but at himself. Just like when All Might lost to All For One. Izuku wanted to hit his head on a wall for being so dumb. For not realizing how much he was suffering. 

Best Jeanist told him that he was dead for about 15 minutes according to the doctors, and Katsuki was right, it was a miracle that he was fine. If it wasn’t for a doctor in the hospital who had a quirk similar to Katsuma’s, then he probably wouldn’t have fully recovered. Or recovered at all. 

He should have known that that would have impressed Katsuki. Because it was him and Todoroki who brought him out of the water. They saw him dead. 

God, if he had ever witnessed Kacchan’s death… He couldn’t even imagine. And he could see why he blamed himself. After all, Izuku said that he had screwed things up seconds before it happened. 

He got up and walked to the boy. “Kacchan…” He cupped one side of Katsuki’s face. “You have to know I never blamed you for that!” He chased away some of Katsuki’s tears with his thumb. 

“But you should! You have all the right to.”

“No, because there’s nothing to blame you for! It was a work accident. We’re heroes! It happens!” His voice was so soothing it was unfair. Katsuki still felt like he didn’t deserve any of this. 

“No, it doesn’t.” He pulled away from Izuku’s touch. “Not the way it did. That was all on me. You said it yourself! I-”

“I didn’t mean it. I was over my head. I got too carried away, thought I could do everything alone. Truth is, I don’t know what would have happened if you weren’t there. They knew something was up already and things weren’t so under control as I wanted to. I just got mad, more at me for failing than at you. So I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m glad you were there. And I do need you! I always did. I always will.” 

Katsuki couldn’t find a string of insincerity in his voice. Still… “Still, I can’t- I can’t be with you.” 

Izuku’s heart broke again. He thought he’d figure it out, so why is he still p ushing him away? “What?” 

“I can’t be with you. Not yet, at least. Not as your partner.” He forced himself to look deep into Izuku’s eyes to say the next part. “But I want to! I like when we fight together. We’re fucking amazing together! But to be able to do that I have to- I can’t feel all of this shit I feel about you and fight along your side.”

Oh. At that, Izuku giggled. Of all the reactions he could have, he giggled? “You’re such an idiot!” At the confused expression on Katsuki’s face, Izuku beamed and placed both his hands on the boy’s face, cupping Kacchan’s cheeks. “You’re so smart, but you’re so dumb!” All Izuku’s worries were gone now. He could handle this.

However, Katsuki was still confused as fuck. “What are you-”

“Kacchan, do you really think those are the only options you have? Or you stay with me or you fight by my side? Is that it?”

“I’ll end up killing us both if things stay like this.” He tried to reason. “I was too reckless. And honestly I’m not sure if I can promise that I won’t be in the future. At least not while I feel like this! So in order to be your partner again, I need to stop it. You saw what happened today!”

“Okay, first: today was a case of stubbornness and lack of communication, and we’ll talk about it later.” He smiled. “Second: I hate to break it to you, but we were never very prudent when it comes to one another.”

“What do you mean?” He lifted a brow. 

“Kacchan, we were always reckless! For god’s sake, did you forget how I got my quirk? I was quirkless and I ran to you hoping for what? Fight the sludge villain?” Both boys chuckled. Izuku had a point. “And you were impaled because of me, remember?”

“And I’d do it again!” Katsuki assured, not skipping a beat. 

Izuku smiled. “Exactly! I don’t regret anything I did, either.” He sighed. “Listen, I get where you’re coming from. When Shigaraki hurt you, I lost control. And if something had happened to you, I would’ve never forgiven myself. I dragged you to that mess, after all. And I still feel a little pain whenever I see your scars. But… I guess this is just something we’re gonna have to learn how to deal with!”

Katsuki was silent, absorbing the words. Izuku's smile flickered as he continued. “I’m not saying that that day was perfect. Both of us said things we didn’t mean at the worst time possible. But the mistakes weren’t all yours. They were mine too! I shouldn’t have started arguing when you came to help me.”

“Yeah, you sounded like me, you hypocrite piece of shit!” He growled, playfully. At that moment, the weight was off Katsuki’s shoulders as well. He knew where Deku was going with this, and he knew they would be fine. 

“I did, didn’t I? See how hard it is to put up with you?” Izuku smiled. Katsuki did too. 

That night, when Katsuki woke up from his usual nightmare, blue lips, pale face, and silent chest, he wasn’t alone. Izuku was there to hold him, to pull his face to his chest, to let him feel his breathing, hear his heartbeat. He was there to kiss his forehead, to run hir finger through his hair, and to lure him back to sleep.

Chapter Text

When morning came, Bakugou didn’t bother to go back to his room before exiting. 

Katsuki and Izuku slept together, woke up together, and they got out of the room together. 

As they entered the common room, still in their pajamas, they were proudly hand in hand. Ochako noticed first hit Mina in the shoulder with a squeak, and then Mina noticed second. Once Mina noticed, everyone did. 

“OH MY GOD!! CAN I BELIEVE MY EYES?” She jumped in place. 

“Yeah,” Izuku laughed, squeezing Katsuki’s hand in his, raising his gaze to meet those beautiful ruby eyes. God, how hard he missed that. And by the way Katsuki had his lip curled up, he had missed it too. 

“So you’re together now?” Mina asked, expectantly.

“Well… Officially?” Katsuki grinned at Izuku. “Yeah. We are.” 

“Wait, officially ?” Denki squeaked from behind them in the kitchen, brows raised. 

“Yeah……” Izuku sheepishly walked to the kitchen, passing by the boy straight for the cereal box. 

“Midoriya… My friend. My dear friend. Answer me this!” Denki hung from Izuku’s shoulder.

“I know that tone, Dunce Face. What did you guys bet?” Bakugou leaned against the counter, making himself a cup of tea. 

“DID’YA GET TOGETHER IN THAT DAY AT THE AMUSEMENT PARK?” Sero yelled from the couch in the common room. 

“Bakugou sighed, rolling his eyes, but Izuku answered, mouth full. “New year!”

“YES!!!” Mina and Denki yelled at the same time. 

Spring break came and went faster than they could keep track on. 

Suddenly they were back at school and the preparations for the Sports Festival had already begun. This year it was going to be different from their first time. Since now the Hero Course had been dissolved to a more broad education and everyone at UA had Quirk Development and Management classes, the number of students who signed up to the festival was way larger. 

They found out that, just like Shinsou last year, there were a lot of other people with great and interesting quirks in UA that just never had interest in hero work, and with the training they received in the past year, they got pretty strong. 

The group part of the festival was really funny and nostalgic to all of them, since they had to team up with people they didn’t know well, and didn’t know their quirks properly. It was amusing to do it. More because most of the students didn’t feel like they needed to prove themselves to anyone else anymore. 

They proved their worth already in more ways than it was necessary. 

In the individual phases, everyone was expecting the quarterfinals to be something around the formation of Todoroki Shoto, Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku and Fumikage Tokoyami. Based on recent events and their locations last year. 

But Todoroki and Bakugou ended up fighting in the beginning, with Bakugou’s victory (this time a deserved one, since Todoroki let out everything he had). And Tokoyami surprisingly lost to this girl who could control and give form to shadows and she took over Dark Shadow in a minute. 

Izuku was winning his fights easily. Not that he wasn’t putting effort to them, but he learned to enjoy fighting when there was nothing more than a trophy at stake. You know, when no one’s life was at risk. And he totally blamed Kacchan for that. 

He now had full control of three of his quirks, but All Might advised him to only fight with One for All itself and leave the others for the heat of battle, when people wouldn’t pay much attention to ‘ why does he have all these quirks?’.

So it turned out the quarterfinals ended up being Bakugou Katsuki against Honenuki Juzo, the boy from 2B with a softening quirk, and Midoriya Izuku against Shiozaki Ibar a, the girl with Vines quirk, also from 2B. 

Bakugou had to struggle to fight without touching the ground, because if he did, Honenuki would trap him there. After a minute of battle, he had a terrible flashback that it was almost like fighting Shigaraki with his decay quirk. That feeling made him angry, and impulsed to finish the fight in seconds. “ Spite is a good way to get things done”. He smiled at himself as he stood victorious once more, guaranteeing his spot at the finals. 

The fight between Midoriya and Shiozaki was also fast. Ibara had become really agile with her quirk, and she could fight really well without having to move a muscle. But Izuku had trained way too much, and besides, it was like fighting Sero and Asui. Maybe a few Seros and Asuis, but still. The fight ended in less than 5 minutes, and he got classified to the finals for the first time. 

The fight between Ibara and Juzo was interesting, both of them being from the same class and knowing each other well. But in the end, Ibara came out victorious and got herself the 3rd place. 

Then it was time for the finals.

Everyone was excited for it, after all Deku and Ground Zero were already known for their hero work outside the school, so it was a fight everyone was looking forward to. But no one was more enthusiastic than Class 1A (maybe Aizawa, but he would not admit it). Because they all knew both of the boys, and they’d seen how far they’ve come and how they’d helped to improve themselves. 

But even their class didn’t know how much both of them had gone through. No one had the details of how deep their relationship went. Of how they had pushed each other over the limit over and over again. Of how much they owned to one another. 

In the resting room, Uraraka helped Izuku stretch, Iida brought him an isotonic drink, and Todoroki was improvising a cold/heat treatment on his right shoulder because it was a little swollen. He still had problems using his arms with One for All whatsoever.

Meanwhile, in the other room, the Bakusquad was doing basically the same things. Mina helped Bakugou to stretch, then Kirishima stepped in and started massaging Bakugou’s shoulders to relieve the tension because the boy did not know how to relax. 

“Dude, how do you feel fighting against your boyfriend?”, Denki asked, still a little goofy for recovering from using his quirk too much. 

“He’s not my fucking boyfriend, Pikachu”, he barked. 

“Oho? Did I miss anything? Last time I checked you were absolutely head over heels for him”, Mina said, taking a bite in a protein bar.

“Oh, shut the fuck up everyone. He is not my boyfriend today. He is just the arch nemesis that I happen to be romantically involved with”. 

“Oh, pardon us then!”, Sero laughed. 

“But anyway, you feeling excited about fighting him?”, Kirishima asked. 

“I don’t see why I would be. I fight that fucking broccolli on a regular basis!”, he said. Mic announced on the speakers that the fight would start in five minutes, so Katsuki got up, did some last quick warm up movements, and opened the door, ready to leave. “But it will be satisfying to roast that nerd in front of everyone”, he smirked before heading off. 

When he got to the corridor that headed to the main ring, he saw Izuku a few steps ahead of him already. 

“OI!”, Katsuki called, approaching the green haired boy in the hallway, before they entered the Arena. Deku looked back and grinned at him, his hoodie off showing just how messy his hair was. Cute as fuck. He reached him and gave him a quick kiss, then he said close to his ear “Try not to cry your ass off after you lose, babe”.

“I won’t!”, MIdoriya said, firmly. Bakugou smiled down at him. Then he realized his mistake “Lose, I mean. I won’t lose!”, he tried to fix it, yelling at Kacchan who was already walking away. 

“Too late, dumbass!” He yelled back. 

Deku could hear the cheering from the crowd as Bakugou got off the tunnel and greeted the audience. It was amazing how many fans he had got over the last year, being the angry gremling he is. But who was him to say anything? Izuku knew more than anyone the charm that talking bomb carried within him. He laughed at himself, thinking about how much progress they had since their last Sport Festival.

He put on his hoodie and his mask and followed Katsuki to the Arena.

Midoriya was on the last lap of the Rainbow circuit in Mario Kart when he heard the doorbell ring. His mother was already in the living room, so she opened the door while he kept playing. He only came to pause the game when he heard her speaking. More specifically, when he heard with whom she was speaking to.

“Katsuki, sweety! What a surprise!”, he heard her saying through his door.

“Hey, Aunt Inko. Is Izuku here?” 

“Yes! He’s in his room, come in!”, he heard the door close. “Do you want anything to drink? To eat?”, she offered. 

“No need, aunty, thanks!”, Bakugou said. 

Izuku could hear his steps getting closer, until he opened his room door, got in and closed immediately. Kacchan didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. Izuku put the remote down, and watched as the blond boy made way to his bed, sat and leaned over Deku’s, the weight of his body obliging both of them to lie down. Bakugou snuggled up until his head rested on Midoriya’s chest. 

“Okay, what’s wrong?”, Izuku asked, strolling his fingers on Katsuki’s hair.

“Argh, I can’t stand that house anymore!”, he confessed. 

"Why?”

“My mom, that stupid old hag! She won’t stop yelling!”

"Oh, the irony!”, Izuku joked.

"Ha ha, very funny, idiot”, he faked a punch on Deku’s chin, who then chuckled a little. 

“I’m sorry, keep going”. 

“I’m tired, you know? We fight all the time and I’m fucking tired of it. She is always yelling at me, saying that I can do nothing right, that I never do things the way she wants me to, and say that all of this mess of our relationship is my fucking fault because all I do is yell at her, so she can never talk to me”. 

“Well, don’t you, though?”

“No! Yes… No! I yell back at her. I fucking flinch every time I hear she say ‘Ka’. I’m so ready to have her complain at something I did or call me out over some stupid shit whenever she says my name that I get defensive if she even breathes at my direction. Maybe I do this with everyone else too, I don’t know…”, he relaxed more into Izuku’s arms. “All I know is that I’m done. I’m tired of it. And we have the sports festival as soon as spring break is over so I don’t want to deal with that shit right now”. 

“I guess you’re staying here then?” 

“Is there a problem?”

“No, I think it’s fair! I spent winter break at your place, and you get to stay the rest of summer break here.  We don’t have a spare room, though. You’ll have to sleep on the couch”.

“Like hell I will!”, Katsuki complained, intertwining their legs, as if saying that the bed could fit them both and he was not going anywhere, which drained a silent chuckle from Izuku, who proceeded to hug Kacchan tighter.

  “I take therapy is doing its work, then?”, Deku spoke again, after a few seconds of silence. 

“What the fuck do you mean?”

“You realized you were in an environment that was toxic for you and chose to leave. Then you analyzed the bigger picture and saw how it might have reflected in your life”, he lifted Katsuki's face with his index finger so he would look at him. “That is a great step. I’m proud of you!”, he said. Bakugou quickly set free and dove his face in Midoriya’s chest. “Too late to try to hide it, I’ve seen you smile”. 

“Idiot”, Kacchan roared. 

“Hey, look at me!”, Deku asked with a soft voice Katsuki couldn’t ignore. He looked up disregarding all his embarrassment. He could feel his face warm, so he knew he was blushing. He hated that. But when he looked up, the look in Izuku’s eyes made it worth it. “I mean it, you hear me? I am so, so proud of you. For everything”. 

There it was. The words he’d been longing for in so long. 

For years he’s been feeling like he was letting people down by not being as great as he could be. For not being the best at everything. Because that’s what people expected of him, the best. But he was never sure that he could reach their expectations. He always felt like a failure every time someone looked up to him. 

Something inside him clicked. The question he asked himself ever since he was a child, of why he couldn’t hear positive words coming from Izuku’s mouth, finally found its answer. It wasn’t because he despised the boy. No. It was quite the opposite. He couldn’t understand how his childhood best friend, the one who always saw through him, could say that he was an inspiration when he was clearly a fraud. That’s why it sounded condescent, fake, as if he was being pitted at. And he hated that feeling more than anything, and it made him angry. He just couldn’t figure out where that anger came from, so he targeted Deku for it. 

Hearing “you’re so good”, “your quirk is really so especial”, “you are bound to do great things”, “you’re such an amazing student”, “you have so much potential” was a nightmare. He didn’t want to hear those words because he never felt like he deserved them. No matter how much he tried, he was never going to be as good as people thought he was, so he didn’t want anyone to compliment him. He didn’t want Midoriya Deku Izuku to compliment him. To praise him. Not like that. That was not what he needed to hear. 

I am so proud of you. 

That. Those words were all he wanted. All he needed. To show that he had no other expectation to reach. That he was enough. He had done enough, for now. 

His vision got blurry. He could feel his whole face smiling, and there was nothing he could, or would do to stop it. He blinked a few times to get the tears out of his eyes, and before he could dry them off, calloused hands did if for him.

“Are you okay?”, his voice was so fucking sweet he just said it without thinking. 

“I love you”. He almost regretted saying it. He almost got up and went away. He still didn’t feel well putting his feelings out in the open. He felt like he was a crystal bow, midfall, waiting to be broken. 

Izuku’s mind blew up, but he knew he couldn’t panic or question what Katsuki had said. He had a split second to process those words, because he knew Kacchan way too well, and he’d damned if he’d let that beautiful crystal work shatter in front of him. So he made sure to catch him before he hit the ground. 

“I love you too”. His voice, his words, his hand on his face, his arm around him, his leg tangled with his, it was more than Katsuki expected to ever have. It was too much.

Bakugou bursted into laughter and tears at the same time. Of all the things he could have done, this was not the reaction he was expecting to have at this time. But that was the first time he ever felt whole in his life. Nothing ever prepared him for how overwhelming that was. It’s funny how two short sentences could complete the mending he was working so hard on. 

He was okay now. 

He grabbed Izuku’s face and kissed him. It was the messier kiss they ever had, between tears, and smiles, and giggles. 

He was aware that he still had things to fix.

It was the messier kiss they ever had, but every time Izuku’s lips touched his skin, it felt like pure light. He sensed it on his lips, on his neck, on his palm, on his forehead, on his shoulder. 

They were going to be okay.