Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You had pictured your future a little bit different. You had just finished school and moved out on your own. By now you had hoped to work as a Journalism somewhere, making enough money to fully support yourself. However that was not the case. You needed money and you had managed to land a job in the food industry. There was a little shop in the hospital which served food, drinks and you could buy gifts. Everyone who worked in the hospital or visited the hospital would stop by to get something. Doctors, visitors or patients. It was always rather busy. With all the free time on your hands you had managed to get quite some hours. It did help that most people and colleagues were nice. Sure you had hoped to work somewhere that paid more and gave you more security. But this would do for now.

Besides there was one highlight every time you worked. There was this one doctor. Whenever you were there, he would show up. Like an alarm clock. Every day at 3 PM he would burst through that door, give you one of the sexiest smile you had witnessed. To be honest you were looking forwards to this moment. People could be real assholes, but this man right here made all the negativity go away. He wouldn’t give a snarky comment whenever you would suggest a large coffee or something to go with said coffee. There was something about that blonde man and you couldn’t put your finger on it. But you didn’t care. Right now you were preparing his to go order.

He would always order the same thing. A large coffee to go with a brownie. Your colleagues were vaguely aware of your crush. So whenever you were able to, you were the one serving him. Nobody asked questions, they only would throw you a glance, trying to be as low-key as possible. Carlisle, the doctors name, seemed oblivious. As if he had no idea why you were the only one who served him, nor why your colleagues were so giggly whenever they saw him. “That’ll be $5,59″, sure the company you were working for was a little on the pricy side. Customers would always complain, but they would pay for the item nonetheless. It was something you had gotten used to. Besides Carlisle here was a proper doctor, you assumed he had enough money. Enough to afford his large coffee and chocolate brownie.

“Keep the change”, Carlisle answered as he handed you a $10 bill. You thanked him, multiple times actually as you watched him walk away. It was stupid, but these few minutes were amazing. He was way too nice, not only to you but to everyone. It did not surprise you that multiple nurses had already tried to ask him out. However what did surprise you was that he had turned them all down. The man was young and single, anyone as handsome as him would have brought a couple of them home. However Carlisle appeared to be different.

The last few hours at work went by rather quickly. Carlisle’s appearance had managed to enlighten your whole day. The moment you stepped foot inside, you couldn’t help but to close your eyes and inhale. The weather was, great, for instance the sun was shining. You tried to soak up every ray of sunshine before stepping into your car and heading your way home. And that is when it all turned black.

The last thing you saw was a car driving at high speed in your direction. It was too late to turn, break or react. There was pain, your car had tumbled several times and the car was on it’s back.

“She’s waking up”, you tried to open your eyes. The lights too bright. There was a heavy headache, making it difficult to focus. You felt like you were floating through the air, for a moment you were completely disorientated. You couldn’t remember going to bed, nor could you remember taking someone home. You simply weren’t the type to do such a thing. “(Y/N), can you hear me?” whoever was talking to you, his voice was familiar but it seemed far away. You couldn’t quite place were you were, however a cold hand on your cheek caused you to open your eyes once more.

You were dreaming. Carlisle was standing above you, he appeared to be worried. His facial expression said enough. He was talking but you couldn’t focus properly. All you could do was stare at him as he kept on touching your cheek. However keeping your eyes open was difficult. How much you’d want to stare at him a little longer. The darkness soon enough took over and all you heard was a constant beeping of what you assumed was the heart monitor and Carlisle’s voice...

Chapter Text

There were so many impulses. So many emotions going through your head all at once. You were angry, angry that someone had been so reckless to drink and drive. Sad that you had to leave everyone behind. Overwhelmed by all the new details of your new life. And then there was this primal need. While you were disgusted by the idea of even being near blood. The moment you smelled it, it was all you could think about.

The first time you saw yourself in the mirror after the accident, you were shocked by your own reflection. Not because of injuries that should have been there. But the reflection you saw staring back at you was perfect. As if your face had permanent good lightening. The way your cheekbones stuck out, there were no imperfections and those red eyes. It was silly but you liked the way they looked. Fortunately you were not a minute alone. You couldn't quite remember what had happened. Everything had turned vague. However there was one person around to fill in the blanks. And while you were surprised that this handsome doctor had managed to keep so many secrets, you were more than grateful that he had chosen to save you.

Many sacrifices had been made. But the feeling of being grateful always overpowered. Carlisle, as he had introduced himself, had been alive for many years. He had told you what he was, how he became it and how this was the very first time he had ever changed someone. Apparently vampires were real. And apparently, the handsome doctor you fancies was one, and had changed you as well. Normally it would have taken you a couple of days to comprehend everything. However being able to process things much faster, you had accepted your new life.

It was either death or a new chance.

Carlisle had told you his way of survival. Instead of killing humans, Carlisle survived by hunting animals. And during your transformation, he had moved both of you a place more secluded. There wasn’t supposed to be a single human around which made it easier for you to adapt. Yet not having to sleep and always being conscious was rather difficult. Especially when you couldn’t always control your emotions. You didn’t want to lash out at Carlisle, it embarrassed you that you had done that a couple of times. However Carlisle was rather understanding. Apparently it was normal. But you felt ridiculous. Which was the reason you were hiding in one of the many rooms this house possessed. As if he wouldn’t be able to find you.

“(Y/N)?” he carefully opened the door. “How about a walk outside?” you knew what that meant. Maybe he was right. Carlisle seemed to sense whenever you were starting to get hungry. You nodded, rushing outside. Carlisle was quick to appear next to you. You ran off, knowing Carlisle was following you. The first time you ran through the forest was amazing. The speed was outstanding. You were so much quicker than Carlisle. Normally you would have tripped or bumped into a tree. Yet here you were hopping from branch to branch until you spotted a nearby bear. Only a few days ago you were working at the hospital, right now you were planning to eat a bear.

Life was unpredictable.

You didn’t think twice and launched at the big animal. Wrapping your arms around of it’s neck before sinking your teeth into it’s skin. In this state you would forget everything around of you. Sure you knew subconsciously that Carlisle was around. However when you were feeding, you could only focus on the blood. It wasn’t only soothing your throat. It felt as if you stilled your hunger with your all-time favorite dish. Every sip was amazing. And it usually took you a while to realize that the animal you were feeding from, was already long drained. And usually Carlisle let you be.

When something suddenly touched your shoulder your instincts kicked in. Causing you to tackle and hover over the thing that touched you. There was no struggle and it took you a couple of seconds to realize what you had done. When you looked down, there was Carlisle. You were straddling his lap, your hands on his shoulders. And yet he looked calm. As if what just happened was normal. He almost looked sympathetic. “Well”, he started, “I suppose that was my fault.” You stared at him with wide eyes. While you had managed to suppress most lustful feelings towards of Carlisle, this just opened every door. “I am so sorry”, you took a couple of steps back. Carlisle was quick on his feet. His hands in the air to show he meant no harm. “I didn’t mean to attack you”, you really didn’t. But somehow your body reacted faster than your mind did and it was incredibly frustrating. You didn’t want to hurt anyone, especially not him.

You had hurt him once. Hugging him tighter than you had intended to. But this was different. “It’s okay”, Carlisle carefully approached you. When he was certain you wouldn’t flinch he wrapped his arms around of you. “It is okay”, he hushed.

Chapter Text

Somehow it was difficult to get that image out of your head. You straddling Carlisle’s lap. The way he just looked back at you. How he accepted all of you. No matter your state of mind, Carlisle was always there to support you. But now that you had actually gotten close to him, not because he was supporting you, but in a different way.. your mind was racing. It had been a few weeks since you had allowed to let yourself go like that. You were already thankful you hadn’t hurt Carlisle while jumping him like that, right now you just wanted to proof to him that you could do it. Because no matter how much you enjoyed his company, right now it felt more like a teacher, student relationship.

With every day passing, every bit of knowledge you learned while being with Carlisle. One thing became crystal clear. You were utterly and most definitely in love with Carlisle. Most of your human memories were still there, some had faded, but the one thing that was always there, was Carlisle. You remembered how he would brighten your day. How you had wondered what life would be like while being at his side. And right now you were living that life. You just needed more. Secretly glancing at him, smelling him everywhere, always being aware of where he was.. It still wasn’t enough. When you hugged him, when he would touch your shoulder.. when you straddled him. That's when your mind would race, your stomach would clutch. This whole transformation was like going through puberty all over again.

The last few hunts were getting cleaner. The animalistic urge would still take over, however you were able to stop a little earlier. It was becoming less messy. Besides when you looked in the mirror at yourself, you could see your eyes becoming less red. There was some yellow shining through. Like a circle around of the red, your diet was starting to show signs. It was like a goal you were working to. The more yellow appeared, the more at ease you felt. Carlisle had noticed it too, you were becoming more yourself again. Days were passing by quickly, now that you were trying to keep yourself busy. That was the good thing about being a vampire. You could do multiple things at once. While you were learning a new language, picked up gardening around the house, Carlisle was always there. Always on your mind. He never left your side. And while you were finding yourself back, piece by piece, it became harder to fight the imagine of Carlisle kissing you. Of him just walking into the room, grabbing you and reenacting that one time you got to sit on top of him. Only without any piece of clothing. Now that you got to think of it, ever since you turned into a vampire, you hadn’t had any type of sexual encounter.

You wondered how it would be. Now that you were faster, stronger, did not need any time to rest. Obviously you couldn’t have sex with a human, you’d crush him and then probably eat him. Besides when it came to sex, there was only one man on your mind.

You had just finished hunting, and something you really enjoyed after getting dinner as you liked to call it, was a long hot shower. It was just nice to stand underneath the shower and try to think about nothing. Just listen to everything around of you. The water running. The birds outside. Carlisle outside. He was doing something, you were trying to listen to him. Completely focus on him. He wasn’t moving much, but you could recognize some of his movements. The sound of paper. Some rustling. While most of the scents were really artificial, but there was this one body wash Carlisle had in his house that smelled good. You were quick to rub your body with the liquid, however with Carlisle on your mind .. your hands started to wander. It had been ages since you had properly touched yourself. Fortunately you didn’t need to breath, so if you could keep yourself quiet.. Carlisle wouldn’t notice. For the last couple of months your head had been preoccupied with your bloodlust, with adapting and with Carlisle. And now you finally had something else on your mind.

Your hand wandered. One hand stayed on your breast and the other was quick to work. Your skin was so smooth. This wasn’t about exploring, or taking it slow. Now that you were finally touching yourself, having the time without Carlisle suspecting anything, you wanted to be quick. You squeezed your breast, your other hand in between of your legs as you dipped one finger inside of you. There was a sigh, you didn’t even know you were able to make such a noise, yet it was a reminder for you. You bit your lip, making sure you kept quiet as you fingered yourself. There was a sudden urge, your hand slightly moving so you could rub your clit, pinching your nipple in the progress. There was an explosion of feelings.. It had felt like years ago. As if you hadn’t touched yourself in years. And the need was growing and growing. You had managed to stay silent, however when you sped up your rubbing it was getting harder and harder. The water was warming up your skin, hair was in your face, yet you were desperate. Desperate for release.

There was a hum. A low hum outside. Whatever Carlisle was doing, he was enjoying it. He was in a good mood and it was the boost you needed for your quick and sudden release. Your orgasm hitting you hard, like a whole new sensation. You couldn’t keep silent. A muffled moan escaped your lips as you were quick to bite down on your hand. You were certain that he had heard you. When you inhaled there was a mixed scent. The body wash, the smell of water, Carlisle’s scent, your own scent. Now that you were inhaling again you realized how much stronger your own scent had become. You pulled a towel around of you, drying your hair with an other towel while wiping the mirror clean. “Y/N?” Carlisle was standing behind you, he seemed concerned. However when you seemed to be unharmed he relaxed. “I’m sorry, I heard you.. ” he looked you over, confused by the state you were in. You felt caught. He had heard you on your high, however he hadn’t put one and one together. “I-..”, you were thinking of an excuse. But now that Carlisle was standing so close, even your vampire brain was having trouble to find an excuse.

Realization seemed to cross his face and he cleared his throat. “Ah.. well, it doesn’t matter. Are you hungry?” you stared at his face. If there was any blood in you left, you were certain that all of it would have gone up to your head. Your sudden burst of horniness had gotten Carlisle worried, if you had been any louder he would have caught you in the act. And maybe finished it. Whatever was happening now, you blamed your brain for it. “I am”, you replied, taking just a step closer. “But I’m craving something else than blood...”