Archive of Our Own ^beta

Under ordinary circumstances, Clary wouldn’t follow a random guy into a dark, damp alley in the dark. She certainly wouldn’t do it in heels, but she couldn’t shake the feeling she’d seen him before. And in her defense, most people would be curious if a perfectly visible person asked, “You can see me?” and then ran from the room.

“Hey!” Clary called after him. “I’m talking to you!”

He slowed his pace and eventually came to a stop. Clary thought her heart was going to beat out of her chest. She knew him. Every cell in her body screamed it, but her mind just couldn’t seem to make the connection.

God, she was so sick of this amnesia stuff. Every morning Clary woke up with the vague impression of a memory etched into the very edges of her mind. The harder she looked at it the faster it disappeared. It made for some great artwork, but some days it made her feel like she was being torn apart.

The doctor had told her she most likely experienced some kind of traumatic head injury but hadn’t been able to find said injury on her. All they told her was her memories would come back eventually—maybe—she just needed to be patient.

There was a part of Clary locked in a vault deep in her subconscious and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t figure out how to open it. Whoever this guy was, he made something in the vault start moving and clawing at the walls trying to get out.

He turned to face her. Raw emotion colored his handsome features, and his brilliant blue eyes were too shiny. He didn’t speak, just stared. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Clary’s voice wavered as she spoke.

He shook his head and looked anywhere except at her. “No,” He said. Something inside the vault threw its whole bodyweight against the door. “I don’t think so.”

Before he could finish, Clary cut him off. “No. I do. I definitely do.” A name popped into her mind and with absolute certainty Clary knew it belonged to him. “You’re Jace, right?”

His eyes finally met hers. They were watery and turning red, but a smile tugged at his lips. “Yeah. I’m Jace.”

“I’m Clary,” she said, returning his smile. Her eyes caught a line of black ink growing out of the collar of his shirt. She couldn’t remember telling her hand to reach out and touch him, but it was half way to his neck before she noticed. And that was only because his smile fell. “What do these tattoos mean?”

Jace bowed his head and looked down at the ground like he couldn’t bear to look at her as she inspected the ink on his skin. Not ink, something in the back of her mind told her, burns. Runes.

In that moment, time felt like it slowed to a crawl. Clary could hear her heart beat in her ears. Touch him. A voice in her head told her. It wasn’t the same one who told her about the tattoos or gave her his name. It almost sounded like multiple voices speaking at the same time.

His skin was warm under her finger tips. She ran them along the edge of the tattoo and for a moment she could have sworn the outline of it glowed gold—

And the vault burst open.

A crowded night club full of people with brightly colored hair and clothing with too many straps and buckles.

A room full of stained glass and high-tech computers.

Laughing in the back of a bright yellow van with her best friend.

The burn of runes on her skin.

Her mother’s limp, bloody body on her bedroom floor.

A child queen on a throne of thorns.

Driving a knife into her biological father’s chest.

An angel rising out of a lake.

An empty ice rink.

“Clary,” her brother gasped. “You’re hurting me…”

A tidal wave of memories nearly knocked Clary off her feet. Her knees buckled, but Jace reached out and caught her before she hit the filthy ground. “Clary?” He sounded panicked and Clary wanted to laugh, but she was already sobbing. She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to stop. “Are you okay?”

Okay? She remembered. She remembered all of it. And she felt all of it. The joy, the guilt, the heartbreak, the anger. It was all bubbling to the surface at the same time.

Clary steadied herself on Jace’s arms, fingernails digging into the thick leather of his jacket sleeves. She never thought she’d get to hold him again. “I didn’t—,” She gasped through the tears, shaking her head so he’d understand even if she couldn’t speak. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“What are you—?” Jace stammered back. His hands rubbed her sides to soothe her despite his own frayed emotions. “Clary, do you know who I am?”

Every inch of space between them felt like miles. She couldn’t take it anymore. Clary flung her arms around Jace’s shoulders. “The angels told me if I used my runes—“

Jace pried her from his shoulder enough for him to see her face. “I know,” He said. Clary blinked away the tears blurring her vision to see his own tears freely falling down his face. “It’s okay, Clary.”

She wanted nothing more than to melt into Jace’s chest and let him mutter words of comfort in her hair as she felt every last emotion she hadn’t been allowed to feel for the last year. But Clary couldn’t do that. Not yet.

Clary cupped Jace’s face in her hands and mustered up every ounce of strength she could to get through what she had to say without breaking down again. “I never wanted to leave you. I need you to know that. I love you so much.”

“I know, I know,” Jace repeated as he tucked her into his chest. Guilt still weighed down her stomach despite his forgiveness and comfort. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “You have no idea how good it is to hold you again,” He said into her hair.

After a year of knowing nothing about herself, not having a single family member or true friend in the world, it was good to be held again. She’d felt so alone. Even when she tried to make friends with students on campus she couldn’t get past the feeling she was betraying someone.

Despite herself, Clary started to laugh. It was a broken, hysterical sound caught somewhere between a manic giggle and a sob. “I forgot how good you smelled,” She said. She sniffled and took a deep breath. He smelled like soap and leather and the faintest trace of ichor you couldn’t get out of gear no matter how hard you tried.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Jace pressed his forehead against hers. She could feel the tip of his nose bump against hers, “But you forgot a lot of things.”

Clary pulled away enough to see Jace clearly. His cheeks wet with tears, and his eyes wide with disbelief. “But they gave it back.” She wiped a stray tear away from his cheek with her thumb. “Now you’re stuck with me.”

Jace’s face broke into a wide grin. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”