Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Stepping off the train from Tokyo, seven year old Conan Edogawa took his first steps into Beika, hopping on one unsteady foot, nervous but excited at the same time.

Nearly slipping back onto the doorway due to the weight of the enormous backpack slung on his tiny shoulders, Conan somehow managed to straighten his back but it couldn't last. Now in a bent oblong state, his back wasn't broken… Yet. But he simply didn't know how much he would need to live here so he thought of everything. Everything!

All the adults gave him a confused glance, certainly because of the towering pagoda on his back that could have been easily used as a battering ram but also due to how chipper the soon to be first grader was.

Even though the platform was overflowed to the gills Conan still managed to find a path through the crowd, apologizing repeatedly for the trouble he was causing.

"Eugh! Watch it kid!" A portly middle-aged gentleman screamed at him as Conan accidentally stepped on his feet.

"Gomenasai!" Conan yelled in apology, hoping his Japanese was alright. His mother would be angry if it wasn't…

Exiting the station, Conan grabbed both of his straps tightly so that he wouldn't fall on his back again like he did when he arrived via the airplane.

While he could read the signs for the most part, it still made his head spin. Thankfully he had the address and with clear instructions that even a seven year old could follow he’d arrive at the Kudo residence in due time.

From the station he took the bus until he was close enough to walk the rest of the way there on his own. Conan was cooed upon by a few teenage girls sitting next to him but because of being so young he felt more suffocated by their close proximity than bashful. When he got off he encountered a nice man who asked if he was lost and offered to take him to the Kudo residence.

Conan wanted to find it himself all on his own so he politely declined but sincerely thanked him anyway, not seeing the flicker of irritation as he walked away. He had heard that everyone was nicer in Japan but he truly hadn’t expected this.

 Of course being homeschooled and largely isolated didn’t give him that much of a barometer for human kindness in general but when he did ask for directions in New York most ignored or were rude to him. He was a smart kid but even he had trouble with directions.

Looking at the house, his eyes lit up in wonder. He made it! Running up to the gate he excitedly rapped his knuckles upon him, briefly forgetting that it wasn’t a door. He couldn’t wait to meet his cousin again! It had been such a long time since they’ve seen each other. He was so cool!

Imagining the comforting way he mussed his hair, Conan tried his best to reach the intercom in order to tell him that he was here.

Using his macguyver like abilities, Conan pulled out his pencil case and pushed the buzzer, using his backpack as a stool. Even so, Conan still had to tread on one tippy toe, his body askew as he struggled to stay afloat on unsteady feet.

"Shinichi Nee-San... Can you please open up, I don't think I can stand for much long- WAH!"

Flapping back to the ground like a baby bird, Conan landed on his butt and elbow. "Ow!" Conan yelped. Most boys his age would have cried uncontrollably but poor Conan was not like most normal boys given his upbringing...

Sitting down, Indian style, Conan felt a vast chill come over him. It was getting rather windy. Shivering, Conan couldn't help but put his tiny hands inside his armpits, trying desperately to fight off the cold.

BANG

A sudden crash from next door made Conan raise his head at attention. Jerking it to the side, he saw that amidst the debris was a old man laying on his belly.

"Oji-sama!" He shrieked, horrified, not afraid of using the the wrong honorific. Running up to him, Conan nearly tripped on a piece of window. "Are you alright?"

The Oji-sama thankfully stirred, pushing himself up with one, then two arms. He had a kindly yet goofy looking face, his upper lip crested with a Warlus mustache.

Recognition hit immediately. "Hakase!" Conan piped up, hopping in excitement. The soot was getting washed away in the rain as Agassi was blindly grasping for his glasses only for Conan to helpfully pick them up and give them back.

Hakase made a show of blinking. "Conan-Kun? What are you doing outside?"

Not noticing the concern in his voice, Conan told him.

"What! You walked here by herself? Where's Fumiyo-San?"

Conan's face fell. "I'm sorry Hakase..."

Seeing the disappointment on his face, Hakase's expression softened. "No it's okay Conan-Kun. Say..." Hakase smiled. "It's a little chilly out here. Why don't we go in and gets some hot coco."

The mention of hot chocolate got him smiling again. "Would I!"

Conan hadn't been inside aunt Yukiko's house for a long time. He was amazed at all the stuff it held inside and couldn't help but touch it. Hakase himself was good company and when he told Conan he was a inventor, his ears stood up in curiosity. Surprised at Conan yapping his ear off had happily explained each function of his device, looking as if no one had ever stopped to ask, let alone listen before but first insisted that he get a change of clothes and a bath.

Conan complied feeling sore and frozen even after he huffed down the promised drink. He honestly didn't expect something this familiar to be here in Japan but he was happy for it anyway.

Of course it wasn't like he had it before. When he attempted to drink it like regular chocolate milk, he had spilled all over Hakase's white lab coat while clutching his burning mouth.

Hakase laughed a bit and got him another, promising that he'd clean up his mess. "Here." He said clutching the mug with both hands as he brought it up to face. "The trick is to blow on it before you drink so it cools enough for you to drink." He made a whistling noise through his breath. "See?"

Conan took his advice and to his surprise it actually worked. While slowly quaffing it down, Hakase prodded the lad for information.

"Is your mother coming soon?" Agasa asked again.

Conan was confused by the question. "Um? She told me I live here now... She never said when she was coming back." His lips pursed together when he saw a flash of anger in Hakase's eyes. He mouthed something in Japanese but Conan didn't have as best a grasp on lip reading. The hairs on the back of his neck pricked up. The atmosphere had changed. Unzipping his bookbag, he reached in and grabbed the yellow binder that his mother told him very clearly to give to Hakase without opening it.

Upon giving it a once over, the document in hakase's hand trembled, before it was crushed in those liver spotted hands of hands.

Conan looked at him, those huge eyes shining with innocence due to not understanding the significance of what his mother just did to him, looked at the only other adult in the room with confusion. "Hakase?"

Realizing that he was upsetting the poor boy, Agasa put on a smile. "I bet your a vociferous reader aren't you Conan-kun?"

Conan piqued up in curiosity, momentarily distracted from asking any life shattering questions. "There is a library downstairs if you are interested. Some of those books were the same ones Shinichi-kun read when he was your age." Agasa winked.

With his interest now stoked, Conan begged the old man to take him there. Agasa said he could read any book he wanted on the understanding that he stay downstairs until Hakase says he can. While he may have usually questioned this, Conan, for all his intelligence above his years, was still a child and one that was especially curious and easily bribed at that.

Searching through the books, he just couldn't decide between a old classic like Sherlock Holmes, or something new like a collection of Edogawa Ranpo stories. In the end he settled on both.

Conan unfortunately couldn't find a comfortable to read. All of the leather chairs made him feel various measures of disquiet, like his mother was watching him or something,

Eventually, he settled on a little hidey hole under the desk. He was halfway through the second book when he suddenly yawned, feeling sleepy, and the next moment he knew, a sudden noise made him jerk awake.

"Ow!" He hit his head when he ran out of height, causing him to lean forward and have his glasses skid out from under.

Quickly following it, he fumbled for the pair before sitting up and putting them on only for the lenses to fall out. The sudden brightness shook him enough to accidentally bounce his temple on the cabinet.

As he went to pick them up, he noticed something odd. Despite a brief blindness, his vision was somehow clearer then before. But his mother told him to never, never, never, take off his glasses...

Before he had time to ponder any questions, he heard someone squeal from behind and grab his shoulders. "Conan-kun!" A voice giddily yelled.

Turning to face the voice, in that instance Conan was sure he saw the most beautiful girl in the world. With those shining sapphire eyes that danced with pure unadulterated joy and a smile that screamed pure compassion, Conan knew that there was no possible way he could be mistaken.

"Do you remember me, Conan-kun? Its been so long." It took a minute for recognition to be lit. He remembered a long while ago, upon a impronto trip to Japan, they met up with a bored Shinichi who had come with a kind, pretty girl as thin as a stick and with a slight overbite. This was-

"Ran-san!" Conan piqued up, a nervous smile spreading unbidden. His palms got all sweaty and he had a bug in his craw, simply nodding cause he was too shy to respond nonverbally.

Ran's eyes lit up with even more joy and wonder. "You do remember me!" Suddenly, Ran wrapped her arms around his tiny frame, much to Conan's surprise and confusion as only Auntie Yukiko had done such a thing before, and it had been a long time since then.

Conan decided he liked it. Very much.

"You've grown so big since I've saw you! You're just too kawaii!" Eventually though, Conan had to come up for air, so with a goofy grin he turned his head to the side, taking long gulps of air. The embrace ended too quickly, and Ran turned to a unnoticed Agasa, who had a odd look on his face. "I didn't know Fumiyo-san was visiting? Shinichi that baka should have told me!" Ran huffed while Agasa wrung his hands and chuckled nervously.

"Unfortunately, she didn't seek to tell us ahead of time so I doubt Shinichi knew..." Conan noticed that his smile seemed plastered on and that his hands were clenched into trembling fists. "He's supposed to be saying with him."

Ran pursed her lips, scowling. It was not a good look on her. "First that baka took off on his own and now he leaves Conan-kun all by himself? When I see him, I'm going to give him a kic-" Ran's face paused for a moment, before it lit up in joy. "Hakase, can Conan-kun say with us?"

Conan very much enjoyed this idea, forgetting Shinichi instantly, and how easily Hakase caved with a expression of vast discomfort.

Chapter Text

He wished that someone would kill him. He wished that someone would just put a bullet in his head or cut off his dirty peepee so that his suffering.

Bunji Nukaga had a habit of walking the streets of Beika, all day, every day, despite his Asthma and Tachycardia always being a ever-present danger his sister liked to taddle about but old habits died hard. As a kid his preference was to read at home but eventually his father would kick him out of the house and he couldn't return knowing the retribution.

I am the danger now. It was getting harder everyday to control his urges. They were always threatening to swallow him whole, his desire welling up like a balloon animal no matter how much he attempted to suppress them and snuff them out.

Once he hoped they would go away when he got older. Its not like this was something he preferred over women after all. He wasn't a homosexual though occasionally he wished that he was so that there was at least a explanation for what he was.

He'd find the right woman and all this sickness inside them would be expelled from his body never to return... Yet that never happened no matter how much his sister played matchmaker. Nobody seemed to love his sorry ass but her. One time he had gotten close but when she dared to ask him to make a family he broke up with her. never to be seen again.

Maybe it was something he wanted more then anything in this world but he simply couldn't trust himself no matter how much he loved that girl. Tears singed in the dark air, chilled drops of liquid nitrogen burning those rosy cheeks that was so much like the children he desired. It wasn't fair! He didn't want these feelings, how could any god create a wretch like him?

Once he hoped that someone going through the same him would see his pain and find him, befriend him, knowing what was happening just by a glance. Not someone who would violate a child but a sensei who had mastered the art of living with his inhuman thirst, a sensei who would teach him to live with what he had and how to be near innocent children without...

Without...

But that boy had him stirred up. That sweet polite boy who had passed him by at poor random. Happy, excitable, optimistic, and sweet, something most children nowadays were so unlike.

Especially older boys. Dirty, profanity laced creatures without scruple, who didn't realize what they had.

And Gaijin boys were the worst. None of those had any class but those were only the tourists. The permanent residents were a different matter but no, he couldn't think about that right now.

Yet this boy in particular was different. Most parents raised their children to be rude, loud, dirty beasts without any innocence. Bunji hated those mothers who spent too much time at work instead of raising them but his vitriol was most alit by cold drunkard fathers who proudly stamped out any spirit.

For these boys were at the same age where he and Bunji were most alike. Someone had to protect them, even if it was from Bunji himself. Much to his terror, the boy lived in the same neighborhood he and his sister did as well. That was where a lot of the celebrities did reside and his sister was no different. She was the only creature during his wretched childhood that not only gave a damn but actually loved, nurtured, and spoiled him no matter how much he deserved to be hated. She was thankfully naive to his degeneracy, and he'd rather kill himself then let her know the truth.

His attempts to call her were in vain. Her phone was always close enough to lend a ear to him but now this was serious. She was probably quite busy, making all attempts utterly fruitless. Oh this was bad. This was really bad...

A thought came suddenly. Maybe if stayed he stayed in a separate room till nightfall the poor boy would be safe. That way any boy of his dreams would be tucked into bed, out of danger from the wolf he was. Like always, he was wrong. The poor boy was outside the Kudo residence, trying to reach the gates. Bunji cursed his luck. What the heck was he doing here? Here was not safe!

He knew that house too well, it was the home of the Kudo family, the titan of literature Yusaku Kudo and his pretty actress wife Yukiko. When he was younger, he had loved Yukiko so much that he pretended that she was going to marry him, that she'd come in like the police lady in the dorama and save them from their parents.

Once he thought of that boy as his Prince Charming, maybe not as much when he showed the countenance of a big boy but he admired him still. His pursuit of justice was truly a noble pursuit but as he would pass him by without even a gander, Bunji realized that he had no attention for anyone but for himself.

But in the end all three Kudo's couldn't save him. The parents would move and leave the younger Shinichi behind.  That's always irked him. Parents should never abandon or beat their children!

So he knew no one was home. Calling the landline was a pointless, superfluous pursuit and a waste of his time. But that boy- Come to think of it he looked liked Shinichi did at that age but bespectacled and sweet like apple pie- Didn't. He couldn't just leave him out there. It was freezing at this time of night and the chill would set into his bones and stay there like it his illnesses always when his dad forgot to let him in for the night when he had one of his whores with

Furious about the reminder of his childhood, he turned on his porch light, he resolved to let him in, promising to lock himself in the other room so he wouldn't be hurt. Quite frankly, he lusted for the company. Overthinking everything as always he took time to make some snacks the boy might've like, hurrying as fast as he could. Then one of his neighbors came in and let him in the Kudo House.

Life was always disappointing for Bunji but for once he was actually glad. Agasa Hiroshi was a incredibly kind man and had helped him out previously. There was no way he could harm a kid.

Just as he was about to go to bed, that girl walked by. Her name was Ran Mouri and she was thick as thieves with that Kudo Boy. They never paid any mind to him even though he was desperate for contact and they were old enough to be safe around him at the time. He always pictured that she was a slut considering how long the two were alone in that house.

Much to his horror, the girl walked out with Conan in tow. Now he couldn't just sit by. He picked up his puffball jacket, still fitting him long after his fourteenth birthday and followed, quick to hang back just enough so he wouldn't be noticed but still close enough to easedrop. Bunji paid no mind to the moth's in the lamplight, the dragonflies passing by, or even basic street directions. The trio were the only ones out in public at this time of night, so no one would notice.

The Night was full of shadows and unbeknownst to the pair, he was one of them. 

Theirs.

"So, Conan-kun?" The girl asked the little boy, her hips moving from side to side in a obscene way. He scowled. He knew what young women of that sort would due to boys hearts and he hated just looking at her back, particularly the way she seductively swung her backside subconsciously towards Bunji.

"Eh?" The boy questioned, seeming amazed that someone would be interested in what he had to say. Though at a odd angle, Bunji saw the shock on his face at being asked a question and while it may have been the biting wind, the bashful aside glance away proved that the poor boy wasn't used to being paid attention to and was happy to be listened to for once. Cleary they shared a less then adroit knowledge of human compassion.

Bunji's heart soared, then fell in a single swoop. If he wasn't such a freak he could give him the love he needed so desperately, something that he himself hadn't gotten when Bunji was the same age.

"Do you have any girls back in America you love?" Bunji gritted his teeth. That little slut was hitting on him! He could see Conan's shoulders slacken in discomfort. Yet instead of trying to slink away, Conan simply giggled.

"No way girls are gross!"

Bunji's lower head swelled to its maximum girth.

He was so cute...

Drooling, Bunji stopped his hand from reaching the front of his pants. No, this was not what he wanted! He was just following him to make sure he was safe!

He should stop, he needed to stop but whenever he planted his feet they'd just get all shaky like jell-o and the ache between his legs would force him onwards. "Do you have anyone you like, Ran?"

The question caught Bunji off guard. It was rude but the innocence in his voice meant that he clearly didn't realize the etiquette in this country. Unfortunately, it appeared that "Ran", the girl, wouldn't correct him.

"Yes I do." Conan's head bobbed as if worried.

'Who is it?" His voice wavered but in it a still hope regaled.

"Its your cousin, Shinichi." Conan's head fell, clearly disappointed. "Oh."

"I know he's always been a mystery otaku and a little shy but despite what people think, he's kind, brave and... Well, I like him okay?"

She seemed happy that she finally admitted it to herself, as if he wasn't the only guy she fall in love with and forget it in a day. "But it has to be our secret okay?" Bunji could hear the wink clap in the night. That little bitch! He knew she was a heartbreaker, just like most women!

He couldn't take it anymore... Unable to control himself, Bunji sped up his pace. They had ended their walk as the girl known as Ran said, "I feel like with Conan-kun I have a little brother I can tell my secrets to..."

That was it! His rage accented his lusts ending any rational thought. Bunji may have been sickly and weak but even he could take out just one woman, he-

"I GOT A CASE, I GOT A CASE, I GOT A- WHOAH!" Bouncing out of the building was a fit looking adult.

Bunji jerked back to his senses, and crossed the street. waiting until he was out of sight, to sprint back home, no matter how much his heart creaked in pain. In his haste, he slammed the front door of his house behind him with a crash, quickly undressed and took a shower. He couldn't stand for long, and as he collapsed. Bunji prayed to god that no one would hear him cry.