Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Dis would otherwise had never been in the bar, however she had begun the night on the arm of her brother who was in as much need of a pick-me-up as she was. Her husband, Thorin’s best friend, had passed just three weeks prior to the day and it was hitting them harder and harder every day.
She could only imagine how her poor son was taking the death of his father. She tried her best not to think about it as this was her night to try and forget the pain even just for a moment. So when Thorin pushed a glass into her hands they drank together. More than either of them had ever drank that night. It wasn’t until she was alone at the bar though that the first mistake had been made.
Interbreeding between the worlds was not unacceptable but it was true that it would not go unnoticed. Dis had just finished her last glass, of which she’d lost count, and was gesturing for another when a hooded man slipped into the seat beside her.
“My dear Lady, I mean no disrespect but I have not seen a single dwarve, elf, human or even hobbit drink as much as I have witnessed you drink in the last hour, might I ask what’s troubling you?” Came the surprisingly gentle yet mysterious voice. Dis knew she shouldn’t say much, yet at the moment she felt too drunk to care.
“Three weeks to the day my husband, brother and father were killed in battle. My other brother and I were searching for some sort of relief even just for a night. It’s hard for me. I can only imagine how hard it must be for my son...he’s four and they were so close…” Dis found herself trailing off not even realizing the bartender had set another glass in front of her, instead she stared with glassy eyes at a particular spot on the wall.
The young stranger simply nodded his head. He too had recently felt great loss and it was the reason he even stood in this bar now.
“I too have just felt a great loss, so my deepest condolences, my lady. I understand it is a tremendous weight on your shoulders.” He gently pulled out the chair next to her and asked with a silent nod if he could sit. Dis nodded, for the first time noticed the full drink in front of her. She offered it to him in a silent salute to their fallen family members. As the night evolved the two of them drank and drank and drank. They learned of each other's names, where they were from and exactly how it was that they got there.
It wasn’t long before Dis had forgotten all about her brother, the new king, and she was close to accepting the offer of finding a more private room with the cloaked man, just one more drink and that would do it. It hadn’t been common behavior for either one of them but neither cared within the moment, neither were sober enough. But the man was gentle still, he was kind and everything a true king should be. She wished her brother would be as good of a king she could already tell he was. Her brother was just ambitious and it scared her a little and she knew it was a dangerous thing, to be hated, she never truly wanted her son to grow up in that life. Thorin had made it clear he did not want to birth heirs so the line would simply go to Dis’ oldest son.
“Dis, my lady,” His voice was a little more slurred than it was before but he’d be lying if he said this was not the most fun that he had in a very long time, “Please allow me visage.” It was a fancy way of saying let me see the rest of what that beautiful face has to offer. She was pretty to look at, he was a man, a human. Interbreeding didn’t even cross his mind, he knew they were not supposed to but he didn’t think they were going to plan on doing the breeding part. He had meant tons of women from his side of the mountains that were as “short” as Dis was tall.
“That would be sublime.” Her eyes sparkled with a thin layer of lust and alcohol, his smile was soft and he blinked a few times like he couldn’t understand what she was saying. But then he pushed back his chair, he had to at least try to be a gentleman, he heard this practice was fun and whose to say a married, experienced female dwarf would be the best night of his life.
He should have been a better man though, should have made sure she was with it, especially if her husband had only died three weeks ago and she had a son at home. He should have possibly respected her wishes a bit more but she charmed him. Boy was he charmed, he held out his hand to pull her along to her feet. She took it, a small blush -it was- creeped on her face as she took it, she realized how tall he was now, she was use to it, meeting humans and elves, they were all taller than her. But this particular human, he was a good size, he wasn’t gigantic but he was not her height, he wasn’t broad but he was… scrumptious.
She stood somewhere to half of his chest, her hand was a little thicker in his but it was tinier and somehow dainter, like a tinkerer's hands. She always loved to work with them, not so much wield a sword though she figured she might have to mess around with her son for a while until his uncle would allow real sword play.
Looking up into her swooners eyes, they held for a moment, almost like they were going to dance and they did, out of the door. Down the street, up some stairs (at least Dis thinks they went up some stairs) she does remember being gently thrown onto the bed and then having a human over her.
A king. If only interbreeding wasn’t illegal, perhaps this man would have taken her and they could have their “intoxicated” children, more heirs for Thorin. Heirs that did not even have a kingdom to rule, however, at least not any more.
It was a searing pleasure when his lips touched hers, it was almost better than the drink. This feeling was more tipsy, maybe she was feeling the gin off of his lips and while they were meshing on hers, it was a good filler for her pain. It was a good distraction but she knew the two of them had to keep this a secret. Being within the royal bloodlines would not save them from the crime of interbreeding. Interlove-making.
Their breath was mingling together between their bodies as sweat began to form before their clothes were even off, the humans hands were rubbing up the dwarfs thighs, riding her dress up. Their eyes met for a moment, both drawn out, not wanting any of this foreplay stuff. Dis doesn’t even remember watching the man strip she just remembers the searing bliss of amazingness she felt when she felt him.
All of him, she was more full than she had been in a long time. The braid on the right side of her head had begun to come loose, she had lost the bead- the wedding band she and her husband had both worn- somewhere between entering the bar and here. Dis did not even realize. Especially not when the human had his lips listing comments about her beauty and light playful threats against her burning skin. Or when he teased his tongue among it, she wished they may have taken a bit more time and stripped them of their clothes entirely. She would have loved to feel this man all over her, entirely. She felt the weight of him, inside of her and atop but she wanted more. Her body was aching beautifully with what he was giving, it was nothing she had ever felt. Dwarfs were so different from humans, why was interbreeding such a bad thing? Was it only so amazing because it was bad and outlawed?
He had such a perfect musky scent, nothing as far as it went with facial hair that ran smooth over her skin, it was so nice for a change, it was fun, exciting for her. She had loved her husband and his wonderful face full of hair, but she had never thought to try someone with nothing before. As for him, he never thought he would have been going for a dwarf but she understood him, understood the loss. He also felt how good it felt to feel lost within each other. It was a feeling better than no other.
Her legs locked and his hips stuttered and his hand found her long, rough locks and he may have pulled just a little. She may have been loud, but both have very few memories of that night.
A moment later, her voice cut through the hot air and their heavy heaving, “Perhaps I should be off now.” But he found strength and pulled himself up to look at her.
“You should not ride on your horse when you are this tipsy, my lady, you could fall off and injure yourself.” He was concerned and she didn’t want to argue, she didn’t mind feeling him more that night anyway. Perhaps she could try to capture the scent of him and the feeling of him.
Afterwards, they rested and by morning, Dis had to leave, her brother would be wondering. She rose from the bed she found herself in and was a tad confused on why she was with a human but a few memories that were hers to keep, came back to her and it made her warm in her chest. She leaned in and placed another small kiss to her one night lover. She made sure her dress was straight and most of her was in a presentable position, her hair for the most part. She made her way back to the bar in hopes she would find her brother.
For her luck, just outside the tavern, Thorin was leaning against the wall, nearly falling asleep, Dis greeted him. It made her brother jump in shock and he let out a low grumble of a surprise but he was happy she was alright. As they were getting back to their ponies to get someplace they could make as a temporary home, Dis heard her brother comment on something that seemed rather strange to her.
“Did you change your hair? It looks rather different.” But she shrugged it off and got abroad her horse, aching a little between her legs for the human man that had had her to himself the previous night.
The man himself just woke up, he found his lady dwarf gone, but a warm smile was still on his lips as he felt like he could feel her still. He redressed himself and struggled to find his cloak that would hopefully hide his face from anyone who might recognise him. And it would give him time to figure out who he wanted and what his future would hold. On his way back to the tavern, he saw the chair himself and Dis had sat at were still in the same positions. He went over to slide them back into place, the bar was still a loud place with many people in it. But no one would pay attention to him.
He lowered his hood as his chair scraped among something on the floor, he bent down to investigate and standing back up, holding the small treasure in his hands, he twisted it to examine it.
A bead.
The door opened and his hands shot around to put the hood back on and he creeped back to his seat, the bead still clenched between his fist. Could it have actually belonged to his lady dwarf? It was definitely dwarf craftsmanship, and this was where she had been sitting. Perhaps he would have a souvenir from her anyway and in return, she got one from him.

Chapter Text

Dragons, it seemed, had no care in the world to clean up after themselves. It was something the company had quickly discovered after regaining their kingdom from Smaug. Everyone had been assigned their own chambers in the mountain they could call home once again. The real cleaning would begin the next morning but for now each dwarf had been given orders to cleans up the chambers they’d been assigned and get a good night's rest. After all they had for sure earned it. Kíli Durin(son) however found that he still had too much on his mind to sleep. After they’d finished cleaning they’d gotten ready for bed and halfway before making it back to his room Fíli had practically passed out. Kíli had managed to half carry him to his chambers and tuck him in before going back to the room his Uncle had given him. After all he was exhausted as well. There were just too many things on his mind for him to concentrate on sleeping.
He knew Thorin probably hadn’t meant anything bad or offensive by it but before he’d left the brothers for the night he told them the two rooms he’d given each of them had belonged to the two other most important people in his life. His own father and the boys father. Fíli had gotten the room that belonged to their father and Kíli had been given the former kings room. Perhaps that was why he’d felt slightly uneasy. Shouldn’t Fíli have gotten the ‘Kings bedroom’ he was after all the heir after the new King. And yet the room was given to the younger lesser brother. Kíli knew his brother, his uncle and, Mahal forbid, his mother would scold him for thinking that but he felt it. Even without ever having been anything close to the definition of the next in line he knew he’d always be seen as the lesser brother compared to his brother. Fíli was the exact definition of a golden child right down to the sweet easy going demeanor and his golden hair. Kíli wasn’t. He never would be and he had come to terms with it a long time ago but it almost felt like a taunt just being in those chambers. Having them assigned to him.
But it was just the thought of him knowing this room once belonged to a king made him uneasy. He knew it was not impossible for him to be king of Erebor but he never wanted to be. Because for that to happen it would mean he’d have to lose two of the most important people in the world to him. And he would never be ready for that. Besides he didn’t want the responsibility anyways as long as he had his brother by his side and his uncle to look up to, he could be happy.
After pacing back and forth glowering at the bedpost for at least an hour the young dwarf decided he’d be better off just sleeping on the ground. After grabbing a spare blanket and pillow from the wardrobe, Kili curled up in the corner of the room.
It was at least still fair to say Kili had a hard time falling asleep that night, even though he was beyond exhausted. However, he hadn’t realized that once he’d fallen asleep he slept many hours into the day. It was long past the morning when he found himself being shaken awake.
“Kili!” Thorin’s voice boomed above him. Kili just shook him off and tried to hide back beneath the blanket, but Thorin yanked it away. “Good heavens, Child. You scared us all. Not one of us could find you- and why are you sleeping on the floor?” He demanded.
Groaning and pushing himself into a sitting position he rubbed his hands over his eyes.
“Uh...no reason.” He lied. He wasn’t sure he could tell his uncle the reason behind his choice. Thorin sighed and sat next to his nephew.
“Kili, something is bothering you. What is it?” He asked, leaning back against the wall, setting his hand on Kili’s knee. Kili only shifted his position a little, but it was enough to tell Thorin the touch was not wanted in a polite sort of way. Thorin took yet another deep breath and pulled his hand back, glancing once at the young Dwarf’s face before it turned back to the bedroom.
“You don’t have to speak to me, but if not me, your brother or even Ori. Or someone. Please, believe me I’ve kept my feelings inside for far too long before and it will eat at you until you become bitter with it. I do not wish that for you, Kili, not one bit. We’re all worried about you. You’ve seemed distant ever since the encounter with the elves. Now, I know I just told you, you didn’t have to speak with me but at least tell me this, did they hurt you?” Thorin finished by making sure his nephew was meeting his eyes.
Kili shook his head. He lied to his uncle again. He knew he shouldn’t have but he was used to being called the things the Elven king had called him, the things he’d done to him, why did it affect him anymore now than it ever had in the past? It may have had to do with the fact he was given the old king's room after being reminded of how he’d never be anything more than a spare or it may have just been nothing and he was completely overreacting.
“Kili,” Thorin began again, “Do you want to know why I gave you this room instead of your brother?”
It was almost as if his uncle had read his mind. Kili couldn’t stop the surprised gasp that had escaped his lips as he looked up to meet his Uncle’s eyes. Thorin gave him a soft smile.
“I figured that may have been part of it.” He mumbled, shifting his position to one more comfortable. “I gave you this room because I thought you could learn more from it than your brother. You’ve often been told you weren’t,” Thorin sighed again and scraped at the bottom of his boot with the tip of his finger, “aren’t, good enough to be one of us, correct?”
Though the king didn’t wait for an explanation. He already knew that answer. Even he himself was guilty of thinking it sometimes.
“My father, your grandfather, was often told he couldn’t rule either. Half the time he was more reckless with his decisions than both you and Fili combined. I can only imagine how he managed with me and Frerin..even your mother as children.” Thorin trailed off for a moment before he seemed to realize he was in the middle of a story. “Yet, even though he was reckless he still had a strong head on his shoulders and once he realized that..nothing could stand in his way of being who he wanted to be. He changed the way the kings ruled because he changed what he knew was unfair. He learned through the pain of his youth that the future can hold something better than the past and even the present. But only if you can be strong enough to give that sort of commitment into figuring out what needs to be done or changed. People will always look down on you if you give them the opportunity. You’re so much more than we say and act like you are Kili. You just need to learn that and find out for yourself the secrets behind who you are.”
Kili stared at his uncle. He understood where Thorin had been going with his story but it puzzled him greatly. What did he mean about the secrets behind who he was? Before he could question it another voice spoke.
“KEE!” and before he knew it he was being crushed in a hug by his elder brother. Kili couldn’t help but chuckle as he gave Fili an awkward pat on the back. When Fili pulled back he punched his brother in the shoulder.
“Don’t scare us like that!” He exclaimed. Kili yelped and rubbed his arm even though it really hadn’t hurt that bad.
“All I did was sleep on the floor, it’s not my fault you’re blind as a cave bat!” Kili snapped in return. The brothers stared at each other for a moment before they both broke into a huge grin. Thorin sat beside them shaking his head at his nephews.
“Come, let us get some breakfast.” Thorin said getting to his feet knowing the boys would never turn down food.
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Breakfast that morning had proved to be one of the best meals the dwarves had had in a long while. Bilbo and Bombur had found a hidden alcove stocked completely full of cured meats and practically anything they could think of or need to survive. It was a lucky thing it was stored properly or it would all have been for not.
They'd have food for weeks before they'd need to set a proper consecutive hunting schedule and perhaps regrow some fruit trees that Smaug had all but burnt down. Kíli couldn't wait until his uncle gave them the okay to go out and hunt. He'd been more than bored since they'd returned to their kingdom, what with King Thorin and Crown Prince Fíli doing all they can to restore their kingdom to all it's glory.
It wasn't even that he minded that he couldn't spend time with either of them. It was simply just that he'd felt completely useless since they'd returned. Thorin and Fíli definitely didn't need him, not that he'd have been much help anyways. Even the other Dwarves had all quickly fallen back into a routine of some sort, whether it was crafting or cooking or mining they all had a place. Kíli having been one of the only Dwarves with none of those skills had often found himself wandering the empty halls of Erebor by himself awaiting the moment Thorin allowed him the chance to do something.
He hated feeling useless during the day hours and he hated trying to make himself go to bed at night. Since that first night it still hadn't gotten any easier even with Thorin's explanation.
The corner of the room was still where he slept, if he slept at all. Something about the room just unsettled him. Or rather he couldn't settle his mind long enough for it to rest properly. He assumed none of them knew he was struggling to fit in more than normal but he wouldn't have been surprised if another dwarf randomly questioned him one day. Kíli knew it wasn't a healthy arrangement. He had a bed, a perfectly good one at that, and yet he refused it. He had skills in crafting and yet he made no attempt to pick it up again. He knew he needed rest and a hobby but he also knew he needed something he'd never ask for. Advice. Help.
The encounter with the Elves of mirkwood had hurt the young Prince more than he'd care to admit. They'd been locked up in the cells for so long Kíli had gotten to the point of assuming they'd never get out. He tried his best to make light of the situation the way he always did, even flirted with one of the guards, and often at that. Though, he didn't like to think about that and where that had ended up for both of them. But it was the times the king and even the young Elvish Prince had visited him that troubled him most.
He didn’t know if they visited the other dwarves as well or if it was just him and it wasn’t always the prince that had caused Kili grief. Kili suspected more that Legalos was just jealous at how easily swayed Tauriel had been by him. Oftentimes, though neither of them would actually admit it they found each other actually enjoying the other's company.
But no, simply the worst part of being left alone was remembering it all. Kíli had done his best to keep his panic attacks and the majority of his feelings to himself after they left mirkwood. The elf king had continuously brought up how useless he was and how the others only tolerated him because he had royal blood. And even then, they only did it for Thorin.
Those things had been the things that stuck with him through the entire journey and the way Thranduil was right. Everything was his fault. Tauriel should have just let him die when he'd been poisoned. But no, instead she saved him and in return he couldn't save her. He blamed himself for her death and he knew Legolas did too. And no amount of time or magic would heal that wound. He'd never let himself forget it. He'd been so so so so close.
Kíli jumped when he snapped back into reality and remembered he'd been practicing with his bow. While he'd been lost in thought the young Prince had managed to snap his arrow in half with just his hands.
"Ya know, I'd ask what you were thinking about..though I think I already know." Came a gruff voice Kíli had known all his life, earning a second jump from the young boy. Kíli looked up to find himself facing the dwarves greatest warrior, Dwalin. Dwalin had always been good at reading Kíli. Better than practically anyone which drove Fíli, Dís and Thorin crazy. Kíli couldn't explain it either and he never had too. Dwalin never asked, he just knew.
"It wasn't your fault, Kee. She made her own decision out there, same as all the rest of us." Dwalin said softly. It was strange how a dwarf so big, burly and rough in looks could be so gentle and soft on the inside. Kíli just grumbled and tossed his broken arrow pieces to the ground ignoring Dwalin for the moment. Dwalin waited. He sensed the rush coming and he was ready to rebuild the dam. Something deep in his chest *cough* heart *cough* had told him Kíli needed company and boy was he glad he'd listened. Dwalin tried constantly to not give into his feelings for the youngest Durin but nothing he tried seemed to work. The one time he mentioned his feelings to Balin, his brother had immediately assumed Dwalin had found his one though Dwalin refused to believe that. Not once had Kíli ever seemed interested or like he caught onto Dwalin's hints, and so Dwalin did what he did bet he kept to himself about his feelings but he always made sure to be there for his Prince when he needed him, no matter what the cost. He'd been there that day. Up on the mountain with them. He could have saved her had he not been trying to save Thorin's dumbass because he hadn't stabbed the dying orc to make sure it was dead.
Kili wouldn’t look at him with fear that the tears that were threatening to fall would slip. He had to be strong. Especially in front of a dwarf like Dwalin. He was the most put together and strong one of them all. Or he had been Kili’s entire life. There was no way Kili could show the elder weakness. When the princes were younger Dwalin had personally been assigned to teach them all the warrior skills they knew. As Thorin’s best friend Dwalin accepted the matter as a great honor. How would it look now after those countless hours of training if the thought of an elf of all things pushed Kili’s emotions off the edge of the mountain.
Dwalin sighed and he took a step forward, though Kili immediately took a step back.
“Don’t. You can’t change my mind Dwal. I’ll always think it and we both know it.” Kili whispered. Dwalin shook his head. He did know exactly what the young dwarf was on about but that didn’t mean he had to like it. He stepped forward once more and again and again until Kili was within arms reach. This time Kili didn’t step back. This time he didn’t bother to hide what he was feeling. There was no hiding it from Dwalin. He could always see right through him. Instead he let himself be wrapped in the older dwarf’s arms.
“I know I can’t. The only thing I can do is bring you Thorin’s news.” Dwalin murmured into Kili’s hair. Kili pulled back from the hug in order to meet Dwalin’s eyes, he no longer had to look up at him to meet his gaze. He’d gotten so much taller in those last few decades.
“What news?” Kili asked slowly. He was afraid that it would be bad news and knowing Thorin, it was just like him to send someone else to give the bad news. Dwalin paused just long enough that Kili was starting to get really antsy and impatient about what his uncle had to say. It wasn’t until Dwalin’s grim, scarred face broke into a grin that the younger finally let out the breath he hadn’t known he was holding in.
“By Royal decree of King Thorin Oakenshield, Hunting season has officially begun.”
Kili grinned so big and practically threw himself into the Warriors arms again, though this time it was out of excitement. He chose not to mention how close he’d almost been to kissing him instead.

Chapter Text

Hunting had always brought joy to Kili. It was one of the skills he could actually exceed at. Mostly, other dwarves find themself too loud or not far sighted enough. Kili though? He’d never had that problem. Since that day four weeks ago when Dwalin had given Kili Thorin’s news, Kili had tried to spend almost every moment he could out in the cold mountain air looking for any possible game. So far he’d managed to catch them six deer, four rabbits and about twelve thousand squirrels. For the moment, it would be plenty but once the other dwarves began to arrive in Erebor from Ered Luin, Kili knew either he’d have to step up his game or he’d need to recruit some help.
Not that he had anything against help he just wanted to accomplish things on his own most of the time. For as long as he’d been alive, he’d been Fili’s shadow. Fili’s little brother. Thorin’s youngest nephew. Prince, but not crown prince. The spare.
For so long Kili didn’t mind it but it wasn’t until the very first time he’d heard someone call him that straight to his face did it affect him. He’d done the best he could at first to brush them off but especially once they’d returned to Erebor when Fili was required to be there, but Kili wasn’t, was when it really started taking it’s true toll on him.
With that being said he preferred to be alone most of the time anyways. Hearing or even seeing the looks that other dwarves would give him, sometimes even within the company, kept him keeping to himself.
This particular day though, Kili had set off alone but not even five minutes into the trees he knew he was being followed. He knew it was a dwarf, they were too loud behind him even though he could tell they were trying their best to be stealthy. With a smirk, Kili decided to pretend like he hadn’t heard them behind him. Instead he just continued on into the forest letting his shadow follow him for at least a few miles in. It wasn’t until he’d stopped to check the traps he’d rigged the other and ended up with a successful sack full of four more rabbits and even a skunk, which Kili shuddered at and tossed away, that he heard a twig snap behind him and in a split second he notched an arrow and shot it straight into a tree inches from Ori’s face.
“Ori?” Kili had known someone was following him, but never did he expect to see the young scribe before him. He expected Fili, or Dwalin, hell even Thorin would have been less of a surprise. Ori, was not typically one for the outside. Yes, he was one of the company and they’d been trekking through half of Middle Earth practically to get home but Ori had never liked it. Kili had never learned the full story but he did know that something traumatizing had happened to his friend when he was young. All Kili had managed to gather was that, and that it involved an Orc and a Goblin and had left young Ori scarred for life. Everyone else said it was why he was always so quiet. And in Kili’s opinion it made sense why their encounter with the Goblins on the journey had made Ori extra uncomfortable, and even knowing there were Orcs on their trail the whole time. Often the dwarves had speculated it was why Ori didn’t say much. He was quiet, he kept to himself as well. It was often why people thought Ori was younger than Kili, when in truth the prince truly was the youngest. Ori was actually only a day younger than Fili.
Though Kili and Ori were often left alone together as children. Which Kili had never minded, he’d always enjoyed Ori’s company even if he was often too quiet for his liking. Though many had talked and said Ori had always seemed to talk more when he thought he was alone with just Kili. Kili never paid those rumors much attention but if Ori felt comfortable enough around him to trust him to use his words, he wouldn’t stop him. Or at least Ori probably had felt that way until just now when Kili shot an arrow at his face.
He looked so completely terrified for a moment and he stared breathing hard at how hard the arrow had pierced the tree trunk only able to think how that could’ve been his face.
“Ori, I knew someone was following me. I just didn’t know it was you. Are you alright?” He asked, dropping his bow at his feet and stepping closer to his friend, over his potato sack of goods. Ori just nodded and slowly tore his eyes away from the tree to look at Kili.
“You knew someone was following you?” He asked. Kili nodded, a slight blush creeping into his cheeks.
“I did. I knew it was a dwarf so I wasn’t too worried….the rest of you aren’t all that quiet when trudging through the woods. But I swear I had no idea it was you or I wouldn’t have shot!” Kili blurted like he was afraid Ori might hit him or something. Instead, Ori burst into a fit of giggles which stunned Kili even more, but only for a minute because moments later both dwarves were giggling in the dead silence of the trees.
Finally when they were able to compose themselves Kili asked, “Why was that so funny?”
Ori chuckled again and shrugged.
“Dunno. But it was. I was trying to keep up with you but you were so fast and..quiet. I thought I’d lost you a few times but then I looked up and here you were. How fared the traps today?” Ori continued. Kili grinned and gestured to the first full bag on the ground behind him.
“Great so far, almost every trap had caught something. I even caught a skunk.” Kili chuckled when Ori’s smirk wiped off his face and straight into a face of disgust. “Don’t worry I’m not keeping that one.”
“Good. I don’t like skunks.”
“I don’t think anyone does. So..er what brought you out here after me?” Kili asked turning around to pick up his bow and bag of game, kicking the skunk further away from them and making sure his trap was reset. Ori had changed his expression again. This time it was excitement.
“They’re here.” Was all he said. Kili turned back to face him, slinging the bag over his shoulder and met his friend's face with a look of confusion.
“Who’s here?” He asked. Ori grinned bigger.
“Your mother and the rest of the dwarves from Ered Luin.”
Now Kili was grinning just as big. He secured the bag tighter and slung his bow across his back as well before he darted forward, grabbing Ori’s arm.
“Why didn’t you say that in the first place?” He asked, though he didn’t need an answer. Together the boys ran as fast as they could back to the kingdom under the mountain.
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The mountain was exactly as she’d remembered it. The insides though...those had changed quite a bit but hadn’t she as well? This mountain had grown her, and her brothers, all of her family before her. But after her? Neither of her boys had been born here. Would they like it? They’d put their lives on the line, mahal only knows how many times they had and the thought that she had no idea if they’d even be inside made her so incredibly worried. Yet she pressed on, leading the rest of their clan to their home.
“Dis, welcome home!” Boomed a voice, she knew so well. Looking up Dis saw Thorin waving from a balcony. She waved in response, but she paused when she saw her older son standing next to his uncle waving as well. Fili belonged there, truly. But she didn’t even care about that instead relief flooded her. Fili was alive. Her Fili was safe. She left the other dwarves, half of them knew their way around and if they didn’t they’d be able to figure it out. She ran. Her feet taking a path that she knew so well. One she’d run in her sleep with Thorin and Frerin by her side. Rounding the corner she almost tripped over her skirt as she tried to run up the steps. Huffing she scooped it into her arms and ran up the steps dropping it as soon as she could.
She wasn’t the only one happy to see the other. As soon as she made it halfway to her son, Fili had stepped forward and closed the distance, hugging his mother as tight as he could. She hugged him back just as tight, if not tighter and she sighed. Now, half of that fear had subsided. When they pulled out of their hug, Dis placed her hands on Fili’s cheeks and rested her head against his.
“You’re here.” She whispered. Fili chuckled.
“We’re here, mother,” Fili grinned and then glanced back at Thorin who smiled at his sister. “We’re home.”
Dis believed him for a second. But then her smile broke and panic ripped across her face. She pulled away from Fili and spun around in a circle looking, but she didn’t see him.
“Where is Kili?” she asked, when she faced the others again. Fili bit his lip and Thorin looked out towards Laketown not meeting his sister's eyes. She shook her head. She wouldn’t believe it. No. “Where. Is. Kili?” She asked again, more demanding this time. She wouldn’t believe it until she heard it.
“We’ve barely seen him since we’ve gotten here.” Fili blurted.
“He’s been avoiding us, and we’re not even sure where he goes most of the time.” Thorin added. Dis stared in disbelief at the two dwarves in front of her. So her baby wasn’t dead, but this was worse. He was alone. For dwarves, being alone was practically a sickness. It’s why there's always tales of seven dwarves or sometimes more.
She gaped at them and glanced against the wall where the rest of the company was standing in silence.
“None of you know where he is?” She demanded, her eyes skimming over every single one of them landing on Dwalin last. Dwalin nodded.
“I know where he goes, though I know not where from there.” He said. Dis waited impatiently for him to continue. Dwalin had always been able to see things about Kili. That wasn’t a secret, everyone knew it. But thinking about that Dis had always been terrified Dwalin would figure out the whole secret about him. The secret only Dis and Thorin knew. “He’s been hunting nonstop practically every day since he was given permission. He’ll be gone from sunrise to sundown and when he returns he goes straight to his room only to do it again the next day.” Dwalin finally explained, or rather Dis finally came too and heard his response.
“Everyday? Alone?” She asked, looking from Dwalin to Thorin trying to figure it out silently to herself. She shook her head. “Why has no one gone with him?”
“I did. Thrice now, but I've had to return to the arena for training when the others arrived.” Dwalin explained.
“I’m complete rubbish at hunting and Thorin and I have been getting things back in order, we’ve been too busy.” Fili added. Dis glanced at the others and she knew just by looking at them that some of them weren’t hunters and that they all had their own jobs they had to do. She sighed and turned back to Dwalin.
“Training hours start late, you will go with him three times a week before training.” Then she turned to Fili and Thorin, “The two of you will take turns on the rest of the days. He is not to be left alone any longer. Am I understood?” She demanded. There were eleven nods and various replies. No one wanted to make Dis mad. She was someone who would tear you apart from the inside out and enjoy it if you pissed her off. Everyone assumed Dis just wanted to protect him but they could all tell there was something else she wasn’t telling them. She’d been protective of her boys, but never like this. No one protested though and Dis was satisfied until there was a loud whoop followed by the sound of two giggles and then Kili and Ori arrived at the top of the stairs.
“Mother, you’ve arrived!” Kili grinned and stepped forward throwing his arms around his mother as tightly as his brother had.

Chapter Text

And arrived she had. It was strange how just being away from her for such a short amount of time had changed them all greatly. After dinner that night, which was just Thorin, Dis, Fili and Kili for the night, Dis explained to Kili his new buddy arrangement. Kili didn’t mind much, mainly because he was just thinking that he was going to need a bit of help with hundreds more mouths to feed. Plus, it came with the perk of company he actually enjoyed. Thorin and Fili he’d have to train a bit more but Dwalin was learning quickly. He’d gone out hunting with Kili three times before Dis made it an official thing and Kili had been quite pleased with Dwalin’s cooperation. He could only hope he could get Thorin and Fili on board just as easily. Though judging by the looks on their faces it was going to be quite a challenge. He did also find it a bit strange his mother was suddenly being so protective of him. He’d always done things alone when Fili was busy with Thorin, which as they’d gotten older had been more and more often. But still, no amount of protesting from either of the three of them could convince Dis to change her mind.
Kili was less bothered though it seemed once Dis promised she’d speak with him alone before bed. But first she had something she had to discuss with Thorin and that the boys were dismissed. Neither Fili nor Kili were going to argue. They’d both had their fair share of talking back to the mother and she was just as quick to shut them down. But it had been long since they’d learned that lesson and both boys left the room when they were dismissed. They had no clue how long Dis and Thorin would talk so Fili decided now would be a perfect time to talk to his brother.
“So, Kee.” The elder began. Kili looked up and over at his brother, with one of his eyebrows half raised. “How have you been? It’s been...awhile since we’ve had the chance..” Fili trailed off as he looked ahead of him to see where he was going even though by now he knew the path to his rooms like the back of his hand. Kili just sighed and nodded, trailing his hand along the wall.
“Things just aren’t the same. We knew it was going to happen. It’s just...now that it did..I don’t think we were ready.” He explained. Fili couldn’t help but agree with his younger brother.
“That doesn’t mean it has to change though.” Fili tried. It wasn’t that he wanted to ditch his brother the way he’d been doing recently. He wanted Kili to know that. But he wasn’t exactly sure how to convince him it wasn’t his idea. They’d been so close on the journey and then suddenly they weren’t because they’d accomplished their goal. And he hated every bit of it. Only a fool (of a took) wouldn’t see how much the sudden desertion of the rest of the company had taken on Kili. Kili just sighed and refused to look at his brother.
“It already has, Fee. You know it has. I know it. Everyone knows it.” He mumbled but Fili heard him just fine. “When was the last time we even talked before today? You’ve been busy..I understand that. You’ve got responsibilities. I don’t. We just..don’t have the time like we used to. No one does. It’s why everyone suddenly disappeared and melted back into the work that they’re good at.” Kili explained, still tracing his fingers along the crevices between the stones as they walked. Fili sighed and he fell a few steps behind his brother as he thought about what he said.
“You know that's not true, Kee.”
“It feels true.” Kili mumbled. Fili growled to himself hearing him and he ran forward to catch up to his brother and he grabbed his arm forcing him to stop walking.
“Kili.” It was all he could say for a moment before the words flew out. “No. It’s not true. What you’re doing is important too. Without you none of us would be eating. We’d have to trade with Laketown, and you know how against that uncle would be. You’re just as important as the rest of us even if it doesn’t seem like it to you in your tiny acorn sized brain.You don’t always have to go out there alone you know!” He knew the words were a bit snappy but his brother needed to hear them.
“I do. Because everyone else is too busy to be able to go with me without having to be told by mother. Dwalin has a few times when he was free but now the three of you were told you need to put aside your own work to go with me. I can handle myself.”
“Can you? Because what if something does happen to you out there, Kili? While you’re alone and none of us can help you because you couldn’t or worse, wouldn’t tell us?!?”
“Wouldn’t that just make this all so much easier? I’m always in the way somehow Fee, you know it! You’ve thought it yourself plenty of times-don’t deny it- I know you have. Everyone single one of you has! Whether you’ll admit it or not. I don’t know why mum is so suddenly overprotective of me but I do know that it would be easier for the rest of you if I stayed out there and you didn’t have to worry about me!” Kili shouted it so loud that his voice echoed a bit in the otherwise empty corridor. Fili looked absolutely livid. He was fuming for words. But all he could think was why? Why did his brother feel like they didn’t want him? Sure they were a bit busier these days but that didn’t mean anything!
“Kee-” It was all his sporadic mind could muster. Kili shook his head and stepped away from his brother.
“Don’t. Just… don’t.” And without another word Kili turned and ran back down the hallway the way they’d come.
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It had been three weeks since his outburst on Fili and the two of them had hardly spoken since. Yes, Dis made absolutely sure that Fili, Thorin and Dwalin kept up on taking their turns hunting with him but it didn’t change the fact that Kili felt like he’d almost completely screwed up his relationship with his brother. It had already been strained since they’d returned, he knew that. But this? He felt like this part of it was all his fault. But what could he do? He wasn’t wrong. That he was completely sure of. The only words the two of them had spoken to each other was when it was Fíli’s turn to go out with Kili.
The first two times it was a struggle to actually teach his older brother how to set the traps, unload the traps and even shoot a bow rather than use his sword. But by the third Fíli had grasped the idea enough to get by and after that not many words were exchanged. Kíli hoped it was because he’d stressed how important it was to stay quiet whilst hunting. Fíli understood that and he never tried to hold a conversation unless he’d forgotten how to do something. This was Kíli’s area of expertise after all. No other dwarf would be more skilled at it than he. Fili was determined to do a good job for his brother, but he also just knew that he was complete rubbish at it no matter how hard he tried.
Thorin, was not much better or so he’d heard from the few mumblings he’d heard escape from Kili as they walked to check the traps. As much as Fili had heard his brother mumble about Thorin in the coming weeks of silent that followed, never once did he hear him complain about his time with Dwalin. Granted, Dwalin had been given a longer amount of time to train with Kili on this particular matter, he was no doubt, already somewhat skilled in the area, and he’d had to spend more of his week out here with Kili. The thought almost made him mad but the longer that Fili thought about it he was a tad bit glad. If he couldn’t be the one to understand what his brother was feeling due to a small heist, then shouldn’t it be the other person that understood him just as well as he? It made sense in his mind. Maybe he’d manage to ask Dwalin for some tips later.
Dwalin, however, had none. He was convinced the only reason he was able to get so much done during his days with Kili was because the two of them just knew how to work together. There was no explaining it and he told Fili as much when he’d asked for advice. Something just worked effortlessly when the two of them were together. And no matter how much he tried to figure out why he couldn’t. Balin had often told him that it was perhaps that Kili was his one, which Dwalin had always brushed off. It was rare these days. Especially, when the age difference between the two was so great and the younger was a prince of Erebor. Whether Kili felt it or not that’s what he was. But it was the age that mostly bothered Dwalin. Yes, it was common for ones to have big age gaps, hell, if one half of a couple was an Elf the age difference would be immense. But what many of the dwarves didn’t know was that yes Kili was one of the youngest dwarves, the youngest in fact, in the company, but no one knew how young.
Dwalin had only found out because Thorin confided it to him one day. He’d pulled Dwalin aside and his face was troubled like he had something he just needed to get off of his chest.
He made Dwalin swear to keep it a secret. Dwalin swore. And he’d never break that promise. But just the thought of him being so much younger when Dwalin himself was only aging quicker it seemed. So no, Dwalin often shrugged the thought off when Balin or anydwarrow else mentioned the possibility. But somewhere deep, deep in his heart he hope it was true. He’d always been so fond of the boy that it would almost be more of a disappointment if they weren’t. Besides, the poor boy was struggling enough to fit in, why should Dwalin make it harder on him by giving him another soul to worry about along with his own? Dwalin was convinced so. Though he was determined to find a way to get the brothers back on a good track. No one liked it when they weren’t getting along. There was constant bickering at the feasts every night, and not their friendly banter either, or complete silence without so much as a glance at the other and it made almost all of the others uncomfortable as well. It didn’t help that everyone but Thorin and Dis were afraid to confront the boys about it. Dwalin figured maybe he could see if Fili could stand in for him on one of his scheduled days with Kili? But the thought of that made Dwalin quite sad, he very much enjoyed the time he got to spend outdoors with the younger prince. Maybe he’d have to come up with something better. But as he sat there at that night's banquet he could see maybe he wouldn’t have to do anything after all.
Fili leaned over to whisper something to his brother and Dwalin couldn’t help but grin at the huge smile that grew on Kili’s face. Though Dwalin had no idea what was said it didn’t matter, the boys could make up on their own and maybe..just maybe they already had.