Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a beautiful sunny afternoon as Vanessa strolled across the park to the swings. Johnny and Moses each side of her, Charity had an appointment in Hotten with her new protege.

She had been in recovery for year and had been absolutely floored when not one but two people had approached her asking would she be their sponsor. Vanessa smiles to herself as she remembers the day Charity came home from her group session all excited because a young woman had appoached her and asked would she be her sponsor. After the elation of being chosen wore off she'd gone straight into panic mode fearing she'd damage anyone who she tried to help and her feelings of not being good enough resurfaced. After much deliberation with Nikki who she still sees once a month for a check in and also sees a lot of her round the centre Charity decided to go for it.
Her new protoge was early in recovery and young, Nikki suggested maybe she sees Charity as a motherly figure. Charity nearly wet herself laughing when she came home and told Vanessa that one! Vanessa didn't laugh though...she told Charity she thought Nikki was right and why wouldn't a young girl who's been through hard times look up to Charity.
Who better to understand and help?

Since then another person had approached her and asked but Charity had sensibly let them down gently explaining she was only a year in recovery and being a sponsor was new to her and she had to be careful of her own wellbeing.
It was all new to Charity, she had a hard time believing she inspired people but time and time again her feedback in group sessions was how she had positively influenced others.
Vanessa experienced such joy on Charitys journey of self discovery, to see her grow and open up to others and it caused Vanessas heart to swell with pride.

While Charity was off encouraging her new protege to work the 12 steps Vanessa took the opportunity to let the boys have a play and hopefully spend some of their energy.
She lifted the boys into swings next to each other and was pushing them alternatively.

"You've got your hands full with two of them" shouted a woman walking her dog. The woman headed toward Vanessa her little dog reaching her first.

"You're one of the vets from the surgery over there" the woman stated rather than asked.

"Er..yeah" answered Vanessa.

"Thought I recognised you. I call in there for worming tablets and flea treatment for Missy here."

The womans skin was tanned and slightly leathered as if she had spent many years in the sun. She wore glasses with a slight shade, a pair of casual slacks, a white blouse with a pink jumper over her shoulders and tied at her front. She didn't look short of a bob or two Vanessa thought.

"Are they your boys?"

"Yeah"

The woman bent down and asked Moses "and what is your name cutie?"

"Moses... my brother Johnny." Moses grinned pointing at Johnny.

"Very biblical!" She exclaimed.

"Yeah my fiancees family have a tradition." Vanessa laughed.

"Your fiancee?"

"Yes her names Charity she owns the pub over there."

"The Woolpack?"

"Thats the one..the only pub in the village." Vanessa laughed.

Vanessa studied the woman, she seemed familiar but she had probably seen her at the vets.

"Do you live local?" Vanessa asked.

"I have a place in Spain, my husband he died recently so I'm looking to buy a place here to spend summer and then return to Spain for the winter."

"Oh sorry about your husband."

The woman suddenly looked uncomfortable.

"Anyhow I must go."

 The woman took a last long look at Moses too long for Vanessas liking. Maybe she had a son or grandson and he reminds her of him. Whatever it was it was enough to heighten Vanessas senses. She wondered if she had always been suspicious or was it since the incident with Pierce. She shudders and makes the decision not to give the memory head space.

"Who's that babe?"

"Oh Charity I didn't see you coming. She's a customer at the vets." Vanessa kissed Charity.

"How was your appointment?" Asked Vanessa.

"It was good actually, she's a good kid who's been through a lot of shit. I like her she's got an edge and says it as she sees it. I couldn't cope with anyone really needy and clingy just yet or ever ha! (Charity laughs). Yeah we really got on and she said she wants to be where I am in a years time!" Charity made a tada gesture.

"Wow Charity Dingle in demand..beacon of hope for the hopeless"

"I knew you'd be impressed babe."

"I am" Vanessa kissed Charity as she took over pushing duty on the swings.

"The casserole is ready" said Charity

 "There's no end to your talents now"

" To be fair babe the slow cooker has done the work I just threw the ingredients in."

"Yeah but it's the secret ingredients and seasoning that makes the difference! Have you got work to do tonight?"

"Yeah but I should hopefully have it wrapped up in an hour as long as it all balances and I'm not having to find missing purchases that someones forgotten to log."

The past year Charity had taken a back seat in running the pub. After discussions with Vanessa, Nikki and then Chas she decided it wasn't the best environment for her to constantly be in. She still covered occassionally but dealt with the financial side and ordering stock these days. It meant she lost her wage from working shifts but they managed with Vanessas wage and there was still a small income from the pub.
It also gave Charity more time with the boys and at the recovery centre. She also took care of the house which Vanessa didn't mind at all. In fact she enjoyed coming home to no housework or cooking. Charitys cooking skills had vastly improved after she attended the cookery classes at the centre.

"Anyway enough about me..how was your day?"

"Only a few routine checks up this morning. Then a dog needing his anal glands expressing and a cat with gingivitus needing 2 teeth removed and a scrape."

"Hmm nice."

"Yeah thought you'd say that...after that excitement I locked up the surgery, popped in for a cuppa with Tracey then picked up the boys and decided to bring them here to spend their energy."

"Great idea" Charity laughed catching hold of Vanessa and wrapping her arms around her until Vanessa's head was tucked under Charitys chin and Charity rocked her slowly side to side.

Vanessa stayed in Charitys arms for a moment. She basked in the feeling of being protected, loved and safe, the familar smell of Charity that she adored. They shared the moment until Moses little voice piped up "mummy push" they broke apart smiling.

Johnny pointed to the roundabout indicating he wanted to go on. Charity lifted him out of the swing onto the ground and walked with him to the roundabout. Moses squealed when he saw Johnny and started to panic because Johnny was going on the roundabout without him.

"Wait Moz I'll help" said Vanessa trying to grab a squirming Moses who couldn't get off the swing quick enough.

Moses was finally freed from the swing and immediately calmed and was back with his cheeky grin sitting proudly on the roundabout opposite Johnny.

"Ryan stopped by earlier, I told him you were in Hotten."

"Aw gutted I missed him"

"He said he'll pick Noah up and they'll go hang out, Ryan said he'd feed him and stop in to see you when he brings him home."

"Oh good I haven't missed him then."

"Come on then boys let's go get food. I'm looking forward to this casserole!"

The four of them headed back to Jacobs Fold, none of them noticing the figure in the parked car watching from a distance.

After tea they bathed the boys and put them to bed and went back downstairs to clear up the kitchen.

Vanessa turned to Charity once the last of the dishes were away. She reached out and placed her arms round Charitys neck joining her hands at the nape of her neck.

"Hmm some quiet time at last!" Said Vanessa lifting her eyebrows.

"A rarity in this house, movie and cuddles?"

Just as they were settled on the sofa together picking out a movie the door opened and in came Noah with Ryan.

"Hi mum, hi mum" they both called out full of good humoured banter.

"Aw yous had a nice time?" asked Vanessa.

"Yep but can't tell you what we were doin" quipped Ryan.

"Why not?" asked Vanessa indignant.

"Because what mums don't know they can't nag you about"

"Oi cheeky.."

Both Ryan and Noah laughed enjoying winding them up.

"Noah wanted some advice from his big brother so I've advised him"

"On what?" asked Charity.

"Wouldn't you like to know....it's private" teased Ryan winking at Noah.

"You're just a wind up Ryan...we're not taking the bait" Vanessa said acting disinterested.

"I'm interested.....maybe I could advise you too Noah" Charity said with hope in her voice.

"Nah you're alright" laughed Noah "let's go upstairs" he motioned to Ryan.

"Off to the man cave for some man chat" teased Ryan.

They went up to Noahs room and switched on the xbox the only talk was about the game but Charity and Vanessa weren't to know that.

" Charmin that is! Thought he wanted to stop by and see me" said Charity.

"He seen you! They're hardly going to sit and watch a romcom with us. Probably upstairs on the xbox"

"Er who said we're watching a romcom?...what do think Noah wanted advice on?"

"Charity they're winding you up! And I'm picking the movie because you're usually asleep within 10 minutes anyway."

Vanessa picked a cheesy movie and sure enough when Ryan came down around 9 pm to go home Charity was already asleep.

"I'm off now I've sorted Noah out" called Ryan.

Charity woke "Er is he okay Ryan?"

"Well I told him to do the right thing, stick by her and marry her" answered Ryan seriously.

"You what!" Came Charitys high pitched reply suddenly wide awake.

Vanessa chuckled and Ryan winked at her.

"Bye"

"Ryan, Ryan are you winding me up?!"

"Mum...would I do that?" With an exaggerated smile on his face.

Charity threw a cushion at him "go on get out"

Ryan laughed as he opened the door "text me for lunch this week".

"Its a date" shouted Charity as he closes the door.

"Babe do you think he's serious?"

"Charity you know Ryan, if that were true he certainly wouldn't be telling you he'd make sure Noah did...you're such an easy wind up for him" she batted Charitys arm before snuggling into her to watch the end of the film.

The next day the morning light was peeping through the edges of the curtains as the alarm sounded.
Vanessa hit the snooze button and sleepily buried herself in Charitys neck.
"Morning babe" Charity croaked her voice heavy with sleep.
"Morning..10 minutes and I'll get up and make a brew" vanessa sighed.
After what felt like 5 minutes the alarm intruded on their peace again.

Vanessa planted a kiss on Charitys lips and got up.

"I'll go do breakfasts" said Vanessa.

"I'll get the boys up and dressed we'll be down shortly.

Vanessa put her housecoat on and slipped her feet into Charitys slippers as she couldn't find her own.
She made her way downstairs and was setting up the breakfast, she could hear the chatter upstairs as Charity woke the boys and got them ready.

"Come on boys breakfast"

Vanessa had packed their paw patrol back packs with some fruit and a drink and their nursery books.
Charity would drop them at school to give Vanessa time to shower and get ready for work.

"Leave the dishes babe I'll do them when I get back. I'll drop them at school and then call in and see chas for a cuppa."

"Okay, bye boys, give me a kiss, see you later and have a good day."

"Bye mummy" they gave her a hug and kiss and were off out the door with Charity.

Vanessa enjoyed having time to herself in the mornings getting ready although she sometimes joined them on the school run as she missed taking them and enjoyed the walk with Charity.

After dropping the boys off she called in to see Chas and spend some time with her and Eve.

When she returned to Jacobs Fold the post was lying on the mat. She picked it up and put it on the worktop in the kitchen to deal with later.
Charity washed up the breakfast dishes and quickly showered and dressed leaving herself plenty of time to get into Hotten. She was having lunch with a few of the women from the centre. They usually met once a month to check in with each other, enjoy fine food and a break from their daily routines. It also enabled them look out for each other and it really helped some of them having that support.

Before she left she made a tuna pasta salad and popped into the vets with it for Vanessa.

Pearl was sat at the reception desk, Charity nodded in her direction and gave her a quick hello. Vanessa walked out from the back consulting room a huge smile broke out on her face when she saw Charity.

"Brought you something babe"

"Oh thank you" replied Vanessa planting a lingering kiss on Charitys lips.

Pearl coughed as they parted so Charity pulled Vanessa closer and kissed her again.

Rhona walked out from the back and greeted Charity "hi Charity ah you spoiling Ness again?"

"Always" smiled Charity looking at Vanessa like she was the only person in the room.

"Have a nice time, give my love to the gang" said Vanessa.

"Will do, what time you home?"

"Aw I'm out on the farms this afternoon so I'm not sure. You know farmers they like to get their moneys worth once they've got you there."

Charity gave Vanessa a pity face "text me babe when you're on your way home and I'll have a nice hot bath waiting for you "

"Oh god I love you" Vanessa kissed Charity again.

"See you later babe (Charity smiled at Vanessa)....Rhona, Pearl" (Charity nodded in their direction) and was gone.

"Oh my god Ness, what have you done with Charity Dingle?" laughed Rhona.

Vanessas eyes stayed fixed on the door where Charity had just exited. 'She's always been there, all she needed was to be loved to reveal her' Vanessa thought but didn't vocalise.

Charity enjoyed lunch with her friends, no pressure to be anything other than herself and completely accepted. Afterwards she done a little shopping side trip and bought some new clothes for the boys.

Returning from Hotten Charity picked the boys up from school. She had cooked a bolognaise for tea chopping the spaghetti into small pieces for them easier to eat although both ended up with orange mouths and lips! After wiping their hands and faces and clearing the table she sat with them in the lounge playing with their building blocks until her phone beeped with a notification from Vanessa that she was finished and on her way home.

As promised Charity ran a bath with radox muscle relax and waited for Ness to come in.

The door opened and in walked Vanessa looking windswept but georgous as ever.

"Hey babes" Charity greeted her with a kiss as the boys danced around excitedly shouting "mummy" and trying to steer her towards their masterpieces of architecture with their building blocks while simutainiously hugging her.

Vanessa laughed she loved these greetings, loved coming home to her family at the end of her working day. Loved hearing about Charitys day, the boys day and telling Charity all about hers.

"Ok babe your bath is run, towels are out for you and food is ready to be served when you come down."

"Oh I am so spoilt! Thank you darling" she kissed Charity again and disappeared upstairs  to enjoy a soak before food.

As Vanessa came downstairs the boys were watching tv and Charity was plating their food.

"Smells delicious" she said.

"Mmm and so do you babe"

They sat and ate chatting about their day before clearing the plates and joining the boys on the sofa. It was soon time for the boys bath and bed. Charity and Vanessa climbed the stairs with them and both bathed them. Johnny and Moses wanted them both to read a story so they stayed and read to them as they drifted off to sleep.

The dinner dishes needed clearing so Charity washed while Vanessa dried. As she was putting away the plates Vanessa noticed the post on the side.

"Is that todays?"

"Oh yeah I didn't get a chance to look at it earlier"

Vanessa looked through the letters.

"There's one here for you handwritten with a local postmark."

Charity looked at the letter and didn't recognise the writing.

"I'll have a look when I'm done here."

They finished off the dishes, Charity sat down on the sofa while Vanessa made a brew.
Vanessa came and sat beside her handing her a mug and the letter.

She placed her mug on the table and opened the letter.

Vanessa saw the puzzled expression as she read and then a look of disgust and anger flashed across Charitys face as she jumped up suddenly.

"This is some kind of sick joke..what the fuck..who would do this?"

"Charity what is it? Tell me"

Charity shook her head as she cried "no no no this is sick...this isn't happening. It's not true...I'm not reading those lies."

Vanessa got up and reached out to her as Charity turned and started pacing throwing the letter on the sofa. Vanessa picked it up and read....

..... Dear Charity
I hope that you will take the time to read this letter even though I am not deserving of your time. I don't know where to start or how to say this but please read until the end that's all I ask for now, Charity it's me Kathleen your mum.
It's true whether you choose to believe it or not. I'm sorry you have to find out now and like this. So many times I wanted to reach out and tell you. You may feel that this has come too late..I hope not..my hope is that you will give me a chance to explain. There are things that you have a right to know. Please give me a chance to tell you these things and if you want no more to do with me I will respect your decision.

Faith can confim that this letter is legitimate. Please don't be angry at her I have only contacted her recently she has had no knowledge about me over the years.

My mobile number is on the back of this letter.   We can set up a meeting by text if you don't want to talk on the phone. Maybe it will be best to speak in person after all this time.

I never thought I'd have courage to write and I have put it off many times. The recent death of my partner has reminded me that we are not given forever and there are things you need to know before the chance is lost.

Kathleen.....

"

Chapter Text

Charity felt the anxiety flood through her again, a feeling she hadn't felt for a long time. The sensation that a cistern had been emptied on her from above, the crawling sensation on the nape of her neck, the sweat breaking out on her palms, the struggle to breathe as she desperately tried to ground herself by naming 3 things she could hear, see and what's the other....she couldn't think...gasping..gasping. Vanessa was by her side...

"Charity, Charity look at me...breathe" she couldn't get Charity to focus "Charity...I'm here...look at me Charity"
Charity finally drew in a large breath and exhaled exaggeratedly and long her eyes full of tears and panic. There was a cry she couldn't get out that she could only form as a prolonged strangled whimper.
Her eyes started to focus on Vanessa.

"That's it babe breathe with me...in...out....in.....out" as Vanessa showed her how to breathe again she followed....in....out....in...out until she was able to inhale and exhale freely. She broke down and cried, Vanessa held her, Charitys body was limp, suddenly a surge of adrenalin hit her.

"I've got to get out." She broke away from Vanessa and grabbed her coat and keys.

"Charity no, talk to me. Just stay and talk to me."

"I've got to get out" she cried "I'm sorry Ness"

"What for?"

Charity just looked at her and slowly shook her head her face contorted with the pain as she turned and fled out of the door.
Vanessa ran after her calling but Charity had got into her car and locked the doors. Vanessa knocked frantically on the window urging her not to go but she was beyond able to listen to reason and sped off forgetting to put on the car lights.
A choked sob escaped Vanessa, she felt so powerless knowing how vulnerable Charity was in that moment.

Vanessa quickly scrolled through her phone and called Chas.

"Chas I need your help, I can't leave the kids, I don"t want to alert Noah, I don't want to worry him. I need to find Charity" Vanessas words were garbled and Chas couldn't make out what she was saying as she was crying.

"Woah Vanessa slow down and tell me what's happened"

Vanessa was still crying but managed to slow her speech and make it audible.

"A letter came for Charity. She opened it and it said it was from her mum. The letter said Faith could confirm the letter was legit. Charity's freaked, she had a panic attack and has took off in the car and I don't know where she's gone. Chas this could tip her back over the edge, I'm worried and I don't know what to do. I need to go and look for her but I've got Johnny and Moses. I don't want to tell Noah he'll be worried and I don't want to do that to him or explain things just yet."

"Shit...I didn't see that coming. Okay love I'll sort something just wait I'll get back to you as soon as I can" Chas hung up. Faith was at the bar, Chas turned to her.

"I take it Kathleen has contacted Charity" Faith said dryly.

"So it's true?"

"Unfortunately"

"Why didn't you say?"

"It's not my business, I was as shocked as you are now and told Kathleen I wanted no part in it. It's up to her to sort it with Charity and I wasn't going to be dragged in. No good will come of it"

"Right you can watch the boys for Vanessa. Don't say a word to Noah. I'm going with Vanessa to look for Charity"

Chas went in the back to tell Paddy where she was going and grabbed Mandy to cover the bar.

"I'm in here having a drink chillin!" Mandy huffed.

"It's an emergency Mandy just do it."

"Right well it's free drinks for me" she bellowed.

"Whatever" replied Chas over her shoulder too preoccupied with Charity.

"Come on mother" she hustled Faith out of the door leaving her drink on the bar.

The door to Jacobs Fold was open as Chas and Faith walked in. Vanessa was sat rocking on the sofa her eyes red with crying.

"I've tried calling her Chas she's not answering"

"You know Charity love, she has to process it in her head before she will speak"

Vanessa looked at Faith.

"Is it true? In the letter it said you can confirm it."

Faith nodded her head slowly.

"Why didn't you say something?" Cried Vanessa.

"Because it's not my business love. Kathleen contacted me about a month ago and I was as shocked as you are. She said she wanted to speak to Charity that she had things she needed to say. I told her no good would come of it. I didn't want to get dragged into it"

"A month ago! Faith you could have told me I'd have been prepared and could have spoken to Charity rather than her find out like this. She didn't even read the whole letter. I thought Kathleen died of cancer."

"So did we all love but apparently she faked her own suicide and ran off to Spain."

"Spain? Oh my god...she spoke to me the other day in the park. She said she comes to the vets with her dog but she was interested in Moses. She said her husband died recently and in the letter says her partner. She told me she lived in Spain but was looking to buy property here for the summer. It was Kathleen...it must have been. She left quickly I thought she was upset about her husband but no she saw Charity coming...oh my god"

" Yep she's been around the village, she's seen Charity from a distance. She knows who you are love."

Vanessa tried Charity again but it just rang out.

"Is there anywhere you know that she would go?" Asked Chas.

"No nowhere I can think of. What about her dads? Surely she wouldn't go there would she?"

"Right lets just drive see if we can see her car anywhere. I'll drive you're in no fit state love, you can keep trying her on the phone."

Chas and Vanessa left in the car and headed in the direction Charity went.

"Chas what if she takes a drink?"

"We don't know yet love. I know she's vulnerable but maybe she thinks she won't let Kathleen mess her life up again. I know, I know I'm clutching at straws. I know she's high risk of relapse right now. I just don't want to think about it after what we all went through last time. She'll be okay love."

Vanessa tried Charity again but no answer.

Vanessa wouldn't normally call someone so late but she knew Nikki would be there for Charity straight away. She had given them her personal number a few months back as she no longer sees Charity as hee counsellor but as her sponsor knowing Charity was committed to her recovery.

It was now 11.30 pm. Vanessa didn't want to call but she needed help and so did Charity.

Vanessa hit the call button and the phone rang out, she was about to hang up when she heard Nikki's  voice.

"Vanessa are you okay?"

Vanessa quickly explained what had happened. She heard Nikki take a deep breath in "shit" she said.

"I'll try calling her she might pick up eventually, you keep trying. Just stay calm and don't think the worst. Charity has done so well she's always been so determined. I'll call you as soon as I hear anything and vice versa."

"Thanks Nikki I'm so sorry to call you so late."

"Vanessa I'm glad you did."

"Bye" sniffled Vanessa.

"Bye"

Charity sat alone in her car and stared into the darkness. She could see the tide ebb and flow as she watched. A bottle of whiskey lay on the seat next to her unopened.
She just wanted to forget and yet she had driven to the beach where Obadiah had taken her as a child every day that summer. The beach that she had enjoyed thinking he loved her but had viciously told her a few years ago that he had only taken her as there was no one to have her and he was searching for Kathleens body.
She had told herself when she stopped at the shop that it was only for tonight. That's why she chose whiskey because whiskey was not her choice before. Vodka would mean a relapse but whiskey was just for now. Her mind was so confused she failed to recognise the thinking of the alcoholic, the lies, the excuse, the denial.
She was conversing with herself in her head 'Yeah Vodkas a relapse, whiskey is just for now to numb the pain. Whiskeys not my choice if I was going to relaspe I'd have chosen the vodka. Hang on whiskey is alcohol, why am I doing this? I don't have to do this...but I want to do this...just for tonight..it will help....it hurts inside...I just want the pain to go...I just want to forget. I stopped before I can stop again. I can take it or leave it now...it's just this once. They (Kathleen and Obadiah) made me do this'.

Her phone buzzed beside her Nikki's name flashed up on screen. Charity had an impluse to answer it but stopped. If she answered it Nikki would talk her out of what she is about to do. She wasn't sure she wanted to be talked out of it, wait...yes she did because she didn't want to do it, didn't want to throw away a years sobriety. But what was one night? One night is a one off it doesn't mean she'll carry on. Charity slammed her palms on the steering wheel and let out a scream.

Her phone buzzed again beside her. This time it was Vanessas name that flashed up. 'Poor Vanessa she thought, beautiful Vanessa. She didn't deserve this, she doesn't deserve this.' Charity turned her phone face down so she couldn't see Vanessa's name or picture, the guilt Charity felt by seeing them was too much, it's easier not to see. It's much easier not to see or to think or to feel.
She opened the car door and got out taking the whiskey with her and leaving her phone.

She walked towards the water, she loved the sound of the sea. It raged like she did, spewing itself up on the beach and dragging into its depth the loose pebbles and sand tossing them wherever dragging them in and throwing them away. Just like Obadiah and Kathleen pushing and pulling her, tossing her aside. She could never be free of them, she took a deep breath and screamed into the wind "well tonight I can" frantically unscrewing the top of the bottle, crying as she raised it to her lips.

Chapter Text

"Fuck...fuck what am I doing?" screwing the lid back on she stormed back to the car.

As she opened the door her eyes fell to her phone. She turned it over, a text notification flashes up from Nikki. She opened the message..
    Charity we don't have to talk but please pick up when I call. We can sit in silence on the line just don't be alone, you are not alone in this. You're stronger than this xx

Charitys head fell forward on the steering wheel as she cried, she had no strength left to fight.

Her phone buzzed it was Vanessa, she let it ring out.
It buzzed again and Nikki's name appeared. Charity picked up her phone, she stared at it in her hand and slowly her thumb hovered over the screen. Before thinking anymore her thumb slid across and accepted the call.
She didn't speak but she let out a breath of relief knowing she wasn't alone. She held the phone to her ear and eventually spoke.

"I nearly did it Nikki I came so close"

"But you didn't?" Nikki asked.

"No"

"Then that's brilliant Charity"

"Is it?" she scoffed.

"Yes, yes it is."

"Vanessa called I take it"

"She did she's really worried"

"She doesn't deserve this"

"Neither do you"

Nikki was texting Vanessa off her work mobile...
   I've got her on the line, talking now. Don't know yet where she is. She's okay so far. I'm going to talk her through some stuff. Don't worry. I'll get back to you shortly xx...

"She told you about the letter?"

"Yeah that's big stuff Charity"

"I still think it's some sick joke, someone getting revenge on me for something I've done in the past"

" maybe or maybe not"

Charity cried.

"I'm going to stay on the line Charity. I might go quiet but I'm here, I'm with you and when you want to talk I'll still be here ready to listen"

Charity nodded her head as she couldn't find the words and although Nikki couldn't see her she knew Charity understood.

After a long silence Charity finally spoke.

"I bought a bottle of whiskey"

Nikki just listened.

"It's here beside me"

"And what are you going to do with it Charity?"

"I don't know......why now after 40 odd years?"

"This isn't about your mum right now...this is about that bottle next to you, that's what consumes you now."

"I just want to forget Nikki, it hurts"

"But it's still going to hurt tomorrow except it will hurt more with a hangover...so you have some more to escape the pain and before you know it you're back on the hamster wheel."

"It doesn't mean I'll stay on it. Just tonight Nikki it's not going to make a big dent in my life" Charity sighed "I just want it to stop"

"What do you want to stop Charity?"

"It hurts inside...why did she leave me? Why did she leave me with me dad? I was just a kid"

"I don't know Charity...only your mum can answer that"

"There's no way I'm ever letting her back into my life. She lost that right when she left me."

"You're angry right now Charity....where are you?"

Charity scoffed "I'm at the beach where me dad took me every day that summer. I thought he loved me but it turned out there was no one to have me and he was looking for me mums body."

" Can I come and meet you there?"

"No it's late and I just want to be on my own"

"Do you think it's helpful for your recovery to be alone?"

"Look Nikki I appreciate your concern but right now I don't want advice I just want to forget"

Nikki was messaging Vanessa as they were talking..
      The beach where her dad took her. x

"Stay with me Charity. I think the reason why you haven't took a drink yet and the reason you answered my call is because you really don't want to drink. You want to forget and you want the pain to stop but I don't think you really want to drink."

"I'm scared"

"I know...and I know you're looking for permission to drink just for tonight but I'm not going to give you that Charity. You see, I know what that will do to you. You're an alcoholic. Remember for you one drink is too many and a thousand is never enough. Don't throw it all away, Vanessa, the kids, your life just because your mother decides to show up. She doesn't dictate your life, you decide.

"I don't want to talk anymore"

"That's okay but will you stay on the line with me?"

"I'm going, I'm done talking"

"We don't have to talk, I"ll just stay on the line in silence"

"It's late, you should go"

"Charity please don't push me away"

Vanessa and Chas were driving the coast looking for Charitys car. They didn't know the location, the only thing they knew was to start in the local area and go further out, along the coast looking for her.
Vanessas phone lit up, a text from Nikki...

      Any luck? I can't hold her on the line much longer. I'm losing her. .you need to find her quickly...sorry xx

"Shit, Nikki said she's losing her we need to find her quick."

"She can't be too far now"

They continued driving in silence straining to see her car.

"There Chas it's her car! Go back"

Chas turned the car and they pulled into the empty car park except for Charitys car.
Charity was sitting in the drivers seat her head on the steering wheel. Chas pulled up behind her to block a quick exit. When Charity saw the lights behind her and heard the car she felt the adrenalin and her senses heighten to fight or flight.
Then she heard Vanessa's voice.

"Charity it's me, you're okay"

Vanessa opened the car door "it's okay I'm here, I've got you"

Nikki heard Vanessa's voice at the other end with Charity, she let out a huge sigh of relief and hung up the call. She will catch up with Charity tomorrow. It had been so close, there was much to talk about, so much for Charity to.process. Nikki remembers her own near misses and the fear that follows when you realise how easy it is to slip back into the abyss.

Chas had gotten out of the car and opened the passenger side. She lifted the whiskey off the seat and unscrewed the cap pouring the contents on the ground.

Charity was quiet, she was exhausted and in shock. Vanessa helped her out of the car and round to the passenger side. She sat her in the seat and fastened her seat belt. She then got into the drivers seat and followed Chas home.

Returning to Jacobs Fold Faith was still sitting in the lounge waiting for them.
She stood up quickly as they walked in.

"I swear love I didn't know until she contacted me."

Chartiy looked confused and Vanessa behind her shook her head at Faith.

"Come on mother, home." Chas said with a warning look.

As Chas and Faith were leaving Chas turned to Vanessa "are you sure you'll be alright love?"

Vanessa nodded "yeah thanks" in almost a whisper.

Charity leant on the kitchen worktop her head in her hands completely exhausted.

Vanessa stood behind her and put her arms around her waist leaning her cheek on her back.
Charity turned into the embrace and put her arms around Vanessa holding her tight.

"I love you so much" Charitys voice was breaking.

"I know and I love you too"

"I came so close Ness." She cried.

"I know...but you didn't relapse did you, that took strength Charity."

"I wanted to though, I wanted to stop the pain, I wanted to stop my head it was going round and round and I couldn't switch it off. I just wanted to forget. I'm sorry"

"Hey" Vanessa soothed her "you've nothing to be sorry for. What happened was a massive shock for you and you just wanted to escape. If you really didn't want help and to take a drink you wouldn't have picked up when Nikki called"

"I couldn't speak to you babe, I felt so guilty and a failure struggling like I was."

"Charity it's okay. I called Nikki because I knew if anyone could reach you she would, she's been there too she understands and I know you know that. I'm just glad you could talk to someone."

"Thank you for coming...to get me"

"I would have searched the whole night, thankfully Nikki bought us some time and was able to find out roughly where you were."

"I'm tired...I can't believe this is happening Ness. Why now?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No and yes."

"Okay let's talk and if it gets too much we can stop."

Charity nodded her head. They went across and sat on the sofa angled toward each other their knees touching. Vanessa picked the letter up off the coffee table.

"You ready."

Charity nodded. She took the letter in her hands and read it completely. When she had finished she let it drop in the space between them.

"So Faith knew"

"About a month ago she said. She said she told Kathleen that she wanted no part in it that she would have to sort it with you and that no good would come of it. I can understand Faith not wanting to get involved but at the same time if she had of at least told me I could have been prepared or broke it gently to you rather than the shock of a letter."

"I don't understand, why now?"

"I guess losing her partner has made her want to tell you. Like she says in the letter, maybe there are things you have a right to know. I mean did she have any more children? You could have brothers or sisters out there..
Charity....I think...I've met her."

"What!"

"The day I was in the park with the kids the woman who stopped and spoke to me, she said she was a customer at the vets. She talked to Moses and to be honest her lingering gaze on him when she was going unnerved me a bit. I thought it was me since the incident with Pierce being hypervigilant. She looked uncomfortable when she told me her husband had died but really she saw you coming that's probably why she looked uncomfortable. She said she was looking for property here to spend summer and then go back to Spain for winter."

"What! How dare she approach Moses. Sneaking around the village!" Charity was furious.

"Faith confirmed she has been in the village, she has seen you from afar and knows who I am."

Charity just stared trying to take it all in.

"Charity....I think for your sake you need to hear her out. Even if you meet her once and hear what she has to say and then have no more contact. If you don't you'll always have unanswered questions."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm tired."

"Okay...lets go to bed."

Charity lay in bed staring at the ceiling, Vanessa was curled into her side. Charity eventually turned on her side away from Vanessa and stared at the wall while Vanessa repositioned and spooned her holding her close. Finally she succumbed to exhaustion and drifted off into a troubled sleep.

Charity woke feeling like she was hungover, she felt Vanessa stir beside her.

"Morning" Vanessa croaked.

"Morning" answered Charity barely audible.

"How you feeling?"

"Hungover to be honest" Charity laughed ironically. "Might as well of sunk that bloody whiskey."

"You don't mean that" Vanessa said as she kissed her.

Charity picked up her phone from the bedside table. There was a text from Nikki.

"Nikki's coming over this morning" Charity sighed.

"It will be good for you to talk through some stuff or not talk just spend time with Nikki."

"It's all just a big mess."

"Well maybe Nikki can help you untangle it and get your head straight."

Charity cuddled in to Vanessa and Vanessa wrapped her arms around her.

"I love you Ness."

"I love you too..now what duties do you want? Breakfasts or waking and dressing the boys? She smiled.

"I don't have the energy for either babe."

"Okay I'll take waking and dressing, you can do the breakfasts and brew." With that Vanessa popped a kiss on Charitys head and got out of bed Charity reluctantly following.

Chapter Text

Chas called in to Jacobs Fold shortly after Vanessa had gone to work. Charity knew they were arranging their morning behind her back. She couldn't be angry at them she knew they were looking out for her making sure she wasn't alone for long periods. The old feelings of not being trusted resurfaced and she didn't like that. It had taken so long to feel that those around her trusted her but then if she was completely honest right now she was having trouble trusting herself after last nights performance.

"Don't worry love I'm not here to talk you'll be doing enough of that. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I know and I appreciate it Chas...thanks.... for coming last night."

"It's fine love, glad we found you. I left Mandy in charge of the bar though so she probably drank this months profits."

"At least it wasn't me" said Charity giving a nervous laugh.

It was near 10 am when there was a knock at the door. Charity opened it to find Nikki standing there, she dropped her eyes feeling ashamed.

"You gonna leave me on the doorstep? Come on girl get the kettle on I'm parched and less of the shameful expressions I've been there, done that, worn the t-shirt and then ripped the bloody thing off again." Nikki laughed and stepped forward "I know you're not a hugger Charity but you're not walking away from this one." Nikki put her arms around her and gave her a tight embrace then parted slapping her on the back and saying " go on get the kettle on."

Chas stood up "er I'll get goin."

"Nikki this is my cousin Chas."

"Ahh Chas great to meet you at last. You've been really supportive to Charity. She's lucky to have you around."

"Okay enough now or I won't hear the last of it"  Charity quipped.

"You certainly won't " smiled Chas as she excused herself and left "nice to meet you Nikki. I'd ask you to drop in the pub for a pint but inappropriate maybe...tell you what lunch is on me at the Wooly."

"Ooo I'll take you up on that..Charity you up for that?"

"Yeah."

Charity brought their coffee over and sat down with a big sigh.

"Charity you had a close call, call it what it was and move on. You didn't relapse, infact under the circumstances I think you done amazing. So pat yourself on the back and move on. God if saw it as a failure every time I had a close call I wouldn't be sitting here with you now."

"Did you ever relapse?"

"Once or twice but I got help quickly and tried again. The close calls become less and you live it one day at a time. Now the big issue is not your close call, that was a wake up and a reminder never to get complacent in your recovery and to always work on your new coping mechanisms rather than reverting to your old ones. The big issue is this news you got about your mum, so what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know..Ness thinks I should meet her or I might regret it because I'll always have unanswered questions."

"True but it has to be your decision. At the moment you're angry and with reason."

"It's bad enough that she abandoned me and all the shit that followed. My life was a car crash and none of it would have happened if she hadn't left me."

" Rejection is extremely harmful especially at such a young age and the truth is if you have a root of rejection you will always percieve things wrongly. You start to believe that you're no good, not worthy of love and so you start to act out and build walls. The only way to stop being hurt is to keep people out, strike others before they strike you, you learn to protect yourself. Sadly you make yourself unlovable and so the cycle goes on."

"My own mother though! I mean she didn't just leave me she wanted me to think she was dead! So why now after all these years suddenly decide to crawl out from the rock she's been hiding under?"

"Only she can answer that and maybe that's what she wants...to give you answers."

"She could have just carried on letting me think she was dead. I'd have gotten on with my life, my life is good now with Ness and my kids. I don't need her, whatever her reason for coming back it's selfish it's for her to ease her own conscience."

"The fact is she has contacted you and you know she's out there. Can you go through the rest of your life knowing that without getting answers? I mean..you must have questions."

"Course I do but I don't want to give her satisfaction of salving her own conscience or letting her think I need her."

"Why would she think you need her?"

"Because she's the only one who can give me the answers."

"Then if you want to have answers it seems you have no choice but to meet her."

"God I hate this." Charity sat with her head in her hands.

They enjoyed lunch at the Woolpack, Charity promised to call Nikki in the next few days to update her. She felt much better having spoke with her, less shame for what she had nearly done the previous night and also had more clarity on what she intended to do with regards to Kathleen.

After the emotional exhaustion of the night before and the lack of sleep Charity and Vanessa decided on an early night.
Sitting up in bed Charity spoke.

"I'm going to meet her Ness."

"Okay....when?"

"As soon as possible. I want answers and only Kathleen can give me them."

"Where will you meet?"

"Not here....I don't want her in our home. She's not part of our lives and I don't want her to think I'm inviting her in, this is purely for answers."

"Away from the village?"

"I think maybe the park where I first met Ryan. Ironic really...the place I met my child that I abandoned."

"Charity that was completely different. You were 14 years old and you didn't think he survived, you were scared and alone. She held you as a baby and watched you grow into a toddler, she made the choice to walk away, she obviously had her reasons but she was an adult, a mother she had a family. You didn't."

" I made so many mistakes with my kids Ness but I never stopped loving them."

"I know."

Charity picked up the letter. She slowly typed a message short and to the point naming the meeting place and time nothing more.

Almost immediately a repy came 'I'll be there, Kathleen'

The adrenalin surged through Charity "Ness will you come with me? I mean not to meet her but just be there from a distance. I don't think I can go alone."

"Course I will."

Charity turned off the lamp and snuggled into Vanessa, she kissed her softly. Vanessa responded searching for Charitys lips seeking her out as Charitys lips fluttered against hers. The kisses became more urgent as Charitys hand moved across Vanessas flesh and she turned raising herself onto her elbows covering Vanessa body with hers, skin touching skin. She needed this, she needed Vanessa, needed to feel wanted, loved and desired. Vanessa knew what she needed and exactly how to give her that.

Chapter Text

The morning of the meeting with Kathleen came. Charity woke from a broken sleep, she had woken almost every hour and had been downstairs for a smoke around 3am. She'd been back on the smokes for the past few days..a stress reliever she called it but Vanessa said on more than one occassion she was sure there were other things to relieve stress. She wasn't impressed when Charity had quickly retorted that Vanessa wasn't always available so the smokes would have to do.

Charity had been very edgy and increasingly snarky which hadn't gone unnoticed. It had annoyed Vanessa no end as she noticed a marked increase in people asking her was she herself okay! They didn't ask about Charitys wellbeing but assumed as usual that Charity was a piece of work despite her progress the past year and lovely Vanessa was hard done by in their relationship. It still amazes her how quick they are to judge Charity. Of course it didn't help that Charity didn't disclose her pain but then why should she have to explain herself to anyone.

"Morning georgous" said Vanessa as she woke.

"Hm morning" came a slightly grumpy answer.

"You were up through the night"

"Yeah couldn't really sleep"

"I can sort the kids out if you want to try and get a few more hours"

"Nah I won't sleep. I'll go and make a brew and sort the breakfasts out."

"And pop out for some fresh air while you're at it?"

"Don't start Ness my nerves are on edge, smoking helps."

"I'm available...for maybe 5 minutes" smirked Vanessa.

Charity scoffed.

"Well that's how long your smoke lasts! What's the difference?"

"It's never 5 minutes with you babe and I'm sure we'll have an audience followed by a million questions when the kids burst through the door. I mean you still die of shame about the time Moses told Tracey we were playing hide and seek in the bedroom, he said you were in bed shouting "Charity I'm coming" and I was hiding under the duvet."

"Urgh don't remind me" Vanessa groaned as she felt a surge of embarrassment yet again.

Charity got up and threw her old joggers and jumper on.

"I'll see you downstairs"

Vanessa wanted to make her feel better but she knew nothing could, not this morning. I mean how are you supposed to feel going to meet your mother who had faked her own suicide and had been presumed dead for the last 40 years! Vanessa had been shocked that Charity knew the part about the suicide, she had never told her what Obadiah had revealed she said she hadn't seen the point of mentioning it. Her mum was gone it didn't matter how, it wasn't going to change anything. Cancer, suicide she was gone and that was that. She was worried what the meeting would do to Charity. What was Kathleen going to tell her?
Vanessa pushed the thoughts away and got up to see to the boys.

Once the boys were dressed they made their way downstairs, she called Noah on the way making sure he was up.

"It's all ready for them. I'm going up to shower babe"

"Okay...I can take them on my own if you want?"

"No I need to have something to do my head's battered. I need the distraction."

Noah flew down the stairs and grabbed some toast. He threw a banana in his bag.

"See you later" he called on his way out the door.

"Bye Noah" Vanessa called after him.

She sat down and drank her brew idly chewing on a piece of toast deep in thought.

Once the boys were in school they had some time to kill before going to meet Kathleen. They headed back to Jacobs Fold.

Charity was pacing she couldn't sit still.

"I could really do with a drink right now" she said nervously.

"Cup of tea and a smoke?"

Vanessa made a brew and they both went outside.

"Urgh I wish this was over"

"I know but this is your mum Charity. This is a chance to meet her and get some answers. When my dad"

"Don't" Charity said with force raising her finger and cutting Vanessa off midsentence "this is different she let me think she was dead. Whatever your dad done he never done that."

Vanessa could of kicked herself.

"Sorry"

"Look I know you mean well but what happened to me because she decided to run off to Spain and have a new life I can't forgive her for that." Charity became increasingly angry "I had no one Ness no one. All my dad did to me, he took it all out on me. No wonder I grabbed any attention that was given and ended up pregnant. You have no idea what that felt like..... I was so scared. I didn't even know what was happening and then to have Debbie taken away. Me dad kicking me out and having to do things with disgusting men only to be given hope by Bails and then he uses me as a sex slave for him and his mates! Ryan dying or so I thought. None of that would have happened if she hadn't of ran off into the sunset to a better life." Charitys high pitched rant was littered with sobs.
"And I really don't want to cry in front of her. She means nothing to me"

Vanessa didn't know what to say so she said nothing for fear of saying the wrong thing but moved toward Charity and rubbed her back to comfort her.

"I'm sorry Ness..... don't fuss me it makes it harder not to cry."

"Sure"

Vanessa felt awkward and helpless but she knew Charity had to deal with this her own way and that was to build her walls before meeting Kathleen.

They hardly spoke for the next few hours...time ticked on, both clock watching. Charity exhaled loudly and nervously.

"Shall we go?" She asked Vanessa but it was more of a statement than a question.

"Okay"

They left Jacobs Fold, Charity locked the house up she felt like she had bricks in her stomach and like she needed the toilet.

"Wait I need the toilet" she went back in and had a movement laughing nervously to herself thinking of the expressions people use 'shitting a brick' 'shitting myself' she laughed because they're true. Then she realised how ridiculous she was laughing at something so trivial given the magnitude of the situation she was facing.

"Charity are you okay?" Vanessa had gone back in the house and was shouting up the stairs.

"Yeah I'm coming now."

Finally they were on the way to meet Kathleen.

After a while Charity spoke.

"I could do with a few shots of dutch courage babe."

"Sorry that's not really an option for you."

"Urgh feel like I need to poo again."

"I thought you'd been?"

"I'm nervous Vanessa!"

"Oh..sorry...do you want me to stop somewhere?"

"No it's just nerves...arrgh I don't know if I can do this."

"Charity she's going to be really nervous too."

"I don't give a shit if she's nervous she should be...she's the one who caused all this swanning off into the sunset." Charity shrieked.

"Look we can turn back if you want...if you don't feel like you can do this...maybe communicate by letter or something."

"No I've got to do this."

They reached their destination and parked up.

"I said 11:30 its 11:15 let's sit here I'm not gonna be early for her" Charity exhaled loudly "I'm havin a smoke"

She got out and lit up, Vanessa got out and stood with her.

"Where do you want me to stay?"

"Just where I can see you."

"Okay"

They stood awhile longer not saying anything until Vanessa broke the silence.

"Ready?"

Charity nodded and they walked together toward the meeting place.

As they walked on they saw a lone figure in the distance sitting on the bench.

Charity took a sharp intake of breath and hesitated.

"You okay?" asked Vanessa.

"Yeah" Charity answered in barely a whisper.

"I'll stay here, I'll keep an eye and make sure you're okay. You can do this Charity...you're amazing."

Vanessa took hold of both her hands squeezing them as she kissed her.

"I'll be right here."

"Thanks babes...I guess this is it" as she took a deep breath and walked toward the woman who had given birth to her.

Chapter Text

As Charity approached, Kathleen stood to her feet. Charity kept walking mentally building her walls composing herself to keep a lid on her emotions.

Finally she reached her and stood face to face with her mother.

Kathleen's expression was a half smile half cry "you're so beautiful."

"I'm sure you didn't come all the way here to tell me that so get on with it" said Charity abruptly.

A sob escaped Kathleen that she tried desperately to catch with her hand. Her face riddled with pain.

"Oh spare me the tears."

"Charity....I'm....so....sorry" she cried shaking her head.

"What bit are you sorry about? Abandoning me as a kid? Letting me think you were dead? For leaving me to be physically and mentally abused by me dad?"

"I thought he'd take care of you. He doted on you. Everything was about you, it was my little Charity, this is my girl, my daughter. I couldn't say a word to you he'd tell me 'leave the child alone' he adored you."

"Oh yeah! Well funny that because I don't remember it quite like that. He told me you died of cancer."

"Sounds like the kind of stupid thing Obadiah would do."

"Excuse me! The kind of stupid thing Obadiah would do? Not as stupid as faking your own suicide and abandoning your kid!"

"I guess I always hoped you'd try to find me."

"Try to find you? You were dead as far as I knew."

"But with no body I thought there would always be hope in your heart.I didn't think he'd say I died of cancer but that's your father lies and more lies.

" Oh do me a favour."

"I couldn't stay Charity he would have killed me."

"Oh pity...no he just took it all out on me instead."

"He wasn't always like that Charity. When we were courtin he was gentle and kind and I loved him. When we got married it all changed, he became mad with jealousy and for no reason. He questioned my every move, started drinking heavily and then the violence...."

"Oh so you thought, I know, I'll run off into the sunset and leave my daughter with him so he still has a punchbag."

"Charity..."

"Have you any idea what my life has been like? Oh wait...yeah Faiths probably filled you in."

"She told me some" Kathleen dropped her gaze to the ground.

"Oh so there you go you know the sordid details and you've explained your reason for leaving, you were tired of being a punchbag and scared he'd kill you. Yeah well, thanks for the explanation makes me feel so much better. So go on you can go now." Charity got up and went to leave.

"Charity...wait"

Charity turned and glared at her.

"You have a sister."

Charity rolled her eyes and gave a mock laugh.

"Oh this just gets better...not only did you leave me you had another daughter to replace the one you left. Good for you."

"No Charity that's not true"

"So come on then, what is the truth Kathleen? So far I've had no answers from you just excuses."

"Charity you're not my first child."

Charitys face dropped as disbelief spread across her features.

"I had a child, I became pregnant shortly after we were married. Obadiah for some reason got it into his head that I was having an affair. He swore the baby wasn't his but I knew I hadn't been with anyone else."

"So what happened then to..this..child" Charity threw her arms in the air as she asked the question.

"It started during the pregnancy and then when I had her it was 'the bastard this and the bastard that' he wouldn't even call her by her name. He told me that bastard can't stay under his roof reminding him constantly of my sin. That's when the beatings started. There was no reasoning with him, he convinced himself that she wasn't his. One night I was nursing her, I'd put her down to sleep and turned to see him in the doorway. He flew at me his hand around my throat choking me until I passed out. I could hear her crying as I lost consiousness and prayed he wouldn't hurt her too. He didn't but I was so scared that he might.
A few days later I took a pregnancy test, I already knew but it was confirmed. You were concieved 6 months after I gave birth to Ria.

Charitys head whipped around to look at Kathleen.

"Ria? Ria's my sister?" Charity started to break but gritted her teeth and steeled herself. She felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach.

"you remember her?
I used to take you there to play together at Ezra and Pollys. I wanted you to know each other. Obadiah allowed me to go out when you were with me. You remember I'd take you on the train and tell you that you musn't tell dad.
I didn't want to leave her there but Obadiah wouldn't let her stay with us. He wanted you from the moment he found out I was pregnant with you. He restricted me on where I could go and who with always checking up on me. He said at least he knew you were his.
I knew Polly was a good soul, she had 3 boys and had been desperate for a girl."

"Yeah and one of them boys abused her repeatedly after Polly died, she ran away and turned to prostitution to feed her drug habit.Well done Kathleen another great choice you made that ruined someones life."

The look that flashed across Kathleens face told Charity that she had no idea. She thought Kathleen was going to crumble as she gasped for breath. Kathleen's top lip curled as she looked Charity straight in the eyes.

"You're just like your father......cruel, heartless and cold" she hissed "I should have listened to Faith, she said no good would come of it.(Kathleen scoffed) Yeah you're Obadiahs daughter alright there's no mistaking that"

Charity felt a stab of guilt for blurting out about Ria's abuse, Kathleen had looked like she'd had all the wind sucked out of her. Charitys guilt was soon replaced with anger.

"Don't compare me to that  disgusting excuse of a man ever again. Goodbye Kathleen sorry you didn't get to absolve your conscience." Charity sneered

Kathleen sat down on the bench with her head in her hands and cried.

Charity turned her back on Kathleen and proceeded to walk where Vanessa was waiting. With each step she could feel the bitterness and anger crawling into the crevices of her heart again. She felt sick and wanted to distance herself as far as she could from Kathleens words.

Vanessa stood up as Charity got closer.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Never better" came the abrupt reply.

They reached the car, Charity lit up a smoke taking a deep drag and exhaling slowly to calm herself.

"How was it?" asked Vanessa.

"learnt nothing new, she couldn't put up with me dad any longer so she faked her own death and ran off to Spain." Charitys response was cold.

"What about family? Did she have any more children?"

"There's nothing more to talk about Vanessa!" Charity said with a raised voice.

Vanessa knew by Charitys tone when she used her full name that it was a conversation she didn't want pursuing.
Vanessa wondered what Kathleen had said, whatever is was it had definately impacted and rattled Charity and although Vanessa couldn't hear their exchange from what she had seen it was Kathleen who was left broken.

Chapter Text

The journey home in the car was in silence. Vanessa felt uneasy and was desperate to find out more from Charity but she knew Charity was going through things in her own head and clearly didn't want to talk. She decided to try again later to get her to open up.

When they returned home Charity said she was going to a meeting. Vanessa gave her a hug which was loosely returned, she seemed so dejected that Vanessa didn't want to let her go. At least she had opted for a group meeting which was a positive choice.

"What time's the meeting?"

"6 at St Marys."

"What time will you be home?"

"I don't know."

"Okay I'll keep food for you, you can heat it when you get in"

"I'm going to go and lie down for a bit."

"I'll start dinner and pick up the boys."

Charity walked upstairs and entered the bedroom. She sat on the bed staring at nothing. She was in disbelief that she had met her mother, devastated that the meeting was so harsh and cold but then that was her doing. She beat herself up for being so cruel but then the anger returned. Anger at Kathleen for doing what she had done, anger at her for returning and anger for what she has told her about Ria. She felt the anger coarsing through her veins with nowhere to go, she undressed, wrapped a towel around herself and went to the shower.
She turned on the shower to full heat, dropped the towel and stood under the water. She had no intention of going to St Marys she just wanted to be alone.

She stood under the water letting it cascade over her willing it to wash away the shame that weighed her down. How dare Kathleen show up and walk back in her life trying to make amends. 'Things she had a right to know' she laughed bitterly to herself. Kathleen had opened up a whole new can of worms that Charity was just not ready to deal with.

She stepped out of the shower feeling just as mucky as when she went in. Walking to the bedroom she sat down to dry her hair.

Vanessa came in "I've brought you a brew"

"Thanks" she answered quietly.

"You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"Nothing to talk about babe"

"Will you see her again?"

"Hopefully she'll go back to her nice life in the sun now she's wrecked mine"

"Wrecked yours? How?"

"Nothing"

"Charity you can talk to me....something has obviously upset you...we can work through it"

"Her coming back upset me. She's gone now that's the end of it."

Charity went back to drying her hair. Vanessa left and went back downstairs.

She lay down on the bed staring at the ceiling thinking, thinking,thinking. She turned on her side just wanting to turn her mind off but she couldn't.

Vanessa came upstairs again "I'm going to get the boys. I might pop in to Traceys or would you rather I came straight home?"

"No call in and see Tracey, I'll just be sleeping babe."

Vanessa bent down and kissed her on the head.

"I might be gone when you get back. So see you later"

"Okay"

Vanessa collected the boys from school and went to see Tracey. She asked her to watch them so she could nip out for a while.
Vanessa headed to the Woolpack to see Chas who covering in the bar but it was quiet afternoon.

"Hiya love you okay?'

"Yeah not bad, you?"

"Alright bit bored it's a quiet afternoon. How did it go with Charity and her mum?"

"Don't let Charity hear you calling Kathleen her mum, it's Kathleen."

"Oh that bad?"

"Worse...I don't know what they spoke about but Charity is clearly rattled but she won't talk to me about it."

"Is she talking at all?"

"Not really it's like she's withdrawn. She's going to a meeting at St Marys."

"12 step meeting?"

"Yeah"

"Maybe she'll process it in her head and after the meeting she might be ready to talk"

"Yeah, Chas if she comes over or if you see her can you try and get her to open up?"

"I'll try love but if she's not talking to you I doubt very much she'll open up to me."

"Hmm could be family stuff I'm thinking."

"Don't think too much love, when she's ready she'll talk."

Vanessa went back to Traceys to pick up the boys. When they got to Jacobs Fold Charity was already gone.
The boys were disappointed, Charity was always there for them and this change in routine upset them resulting in them playing up for most of the evening.
Vanessa felt strangely lonely.

Charity had left Jacobs Fold shortly after Vanessa, she headed toward Bradford without really knowing why.
Soon she was among familiar yet unfamiliar surroundings as so much had changed. She drove until she found the street and pulled up opposite a modern refurbished family home. It looks so different now she thought to herself.
She looked at the upstairs window knowing everything that went on in that house. This was the house she almost ended her life in.
It's all so different but in her head it was all still there replaying over and over again.
Why did she come here? Haunting herself, did she really think this would help? Charity laughed to herself in disbelief as her eyes filled with tears. She steeled herself and pushed it all back down determined to just swallow the pain and push it away.

This was the last place she had seen Ria "oh god if I'd of just known" she cried out.
She checked the time, Vanessa would be worried by the time shd got home.
She got out the car and went into the shop to buy smokes. As she entered the shop and stood at the counter waiting to be served her eyes fell on the spirits behind the assistant. Anticipation warmed her stomach as she unconsciously licked her lips.
'No I can't Vanessa will see the transaction and she will know I was in Bradford' she thought to herself. She had £10 cash on her and needed to make a decision.

Charity walked out of the shop feeling good. She had a pack of smokes in her pocket and a back up plan just incase.

As she passed through Hotton she stopped and made a cash withdrawal. She was still telling herself she wasn't going to do it as she walked into the shop. As she was standing at the counter she was still convincing herself and then she opened her mouth.

"Can I have the quart of Vodka please" 'it's just a little nip to help me sleep and switch off my brain' she thought to herself.
Oh.... she was so so convincing she actually believed what she was telling herself...it's just for tonight and just a quart and I don't need it all...couple of swigs will set me up right.

She really wished she'd text Vanessa earlier to say she had gone out with friends after the meeting but it was too late now. She hoped Vanessa was not waiting up for her wanting to talk again.

After a while she started to feel the warm fuzzies of the vodka. It was enough for now.
She stashed the remainder in the spare tyre compartment and drove the rest of the way home. On arriving home she had a smoke out back, Vanessa was in bed but the bedroom light was on.
As she made her way upstairs and into the bedroom Vanessa was sitting up reading a book.

"Hey how was your meeting?" She asked softly.

"Yeah it was okay" Charity replied picking up her toothbrush and heading off to brush her teeth.

Charity started to feel a bit paranoid...did Vanessa know? She seemed a bit distant....I'm just tired she thought.

She headed back into the bedroom undressing and getting into bed, she kissed Vanessa and lay down on her side her back towards her.
Vanessa switched off the lamp and lay down reaching her arm around Charitys waist, kissing her neck and spooning her, pushing her hips into Charity searching for intimacy. She felt Charity tense.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing I'm just tired babe"

"sorry...night."

"Night"

Vanessa lay feeling rejected and lonely...there was definately a barrier emotionally but also physically...no this did not bode well at all.

Chapter Text

The next morning Charity woke, Vanessa was still sleeping. She went downstairs to smoke and make a brew. She felt a stab of guilt about taking a drink the night before but pushed it aside as it hadn't seemed to affect her much. Charity was quite pleased she was able to only take a number of swigs before choosing to stop, she felt pleased that she had control and it helped calm her thoughts.
She'd go to the centre today and stay on track.

She went back inside and made a brew for Vanessa, she took it upstairs and woke her gently.

"Morning babes"

"Hm morning" answered Vanessa sleepily.

"Made you a brew. I'll get the boys up now and get them ready"

"They missed you last night. Both were little buggers all night playing up."

"Sorry babes. I'll take them to school and then I'm going to Hotten to the centre. I'll catch up with Nikki and there's a group on this afternoon. I'll be back for the boys finishing school." She kissed Vanessa on the head and left the bedroom.

Vanessa felt reassured and sunk back into her pillow before throwing the duvet back and getting out of bed and going downstairs to do breakfasts.

She could hear Charity upstairs chatting and laughing with the boys. She smiled to herself glad that Charity seemed in a better frame of mind this morning.

As they made their way downstairs Vanessa greeted the boys and sat them down for their breakfast.

"I'll go and shower and take them to school with you. The walk will be nice."

"Mhm okay" was Charitys reply.

The walk to the school was a pleasant one, Johnny and Moses chattering excitedly as they walked hand in hand between Vanessa and Charity. A kiss and a hug and they were inside ready for their day of play and learning.

Charity and Vanessa walked back to Jacobs Fold.

"You seem better this morning."

"Yeah it was just a bit of a shock actually meeting her yesterday. I was angry and sad but I'm okay now."

"Do you want to see her again?"

"I've told you babe that's the end of it. She's not part of our lives."

"Maybe in time you can forgive her and get to know her."

Charity became angry again "Why do you have to do this all the time? Keep pushing and pushing. I don't want her in my life she made her choice and now I've made mine."

"Sorry...I just think you might regret it later."

"For fucks sake Ness leave it! This is what I hate you got to keep picking at it."

"Charity we have to be able to talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about!" Charity shrieked exasperated.

The uneasy feeling invaded Vanessas gut again but she said nothing knowing that Charity was really pissed off.

Back at Jacobs Fold Vanessa got her things together for work, she kissed Charity and apologised again.

"I love you, I'll see you later."

"Yeah love you too babe."

Vanessa left. Charity sighed deeply, she couldn't settle her nerves. The temptation in the boot of the car was drawing her. She stood with her hands resting on the back of the sofa not quite knowing what to do with herself.
'There's hardly anything in it anyway' she thought 'I paid for it so no sense in wasting it'. She nervously tapped her fingers and exhaled loudly and decided instead to go upstairs and make the boys beds.
Halfway up the stairs she stopped and walked back down grabbing her keys and out to the car. She rummaged in the spare wheel compartment and drew her hand out quickly putting the bottle in the band of her jeans and walked back in the house. As soon as she entered and closed the door she unscrewed the lid and brought it to her lips. Immediately feelings of relief flooded through her as she felt the familiar burn and warmth in her chest.

'There its gone now' she thought to herself 'that's it'.

She went up and made the boys beds with a little spring added to her step.

Around 10 am she decided to go into Hotten. As she was driving she began to have doubts about going to the centre. Guilt started to creep in and feelings of failure. 'How can I sit as someones sponsor encouraging them when I'd be lying?' She thought to herself and started to panic because she knew she could hide it from Vanessa but Nikki would see right through her. You can't kid a kidder Nikki would say with her ability to zoom in on the subtle signs.
Charity thought it was maybe best to stay away today and go tomorrow.

She sat in the car bored twiddling her thumbs thinking. Her mind started churning over and over about Kathleen and Ria. Charity didn't know what to do with her thoughts she just couldn't switch them off.

She decided to go and grab a meal deal. She stopped at the cash point and made a £20 withdrawal. Usually she used her card for purchases but for some reason that she never even thought was strange she didn't want anyone to know where she had been shopping.
Browsing the meal deal section she began to browse further in store knowing which isle she was gravitating to but still convincing herself she's just looking and killing time.
By the time she found herself in the spirits isle it was a done deal she reached out and lifted a half bottle of vodka off the shelf and walked quickly to the check out. At this point she could have stopped but she didn't. Only after she had paid for it and walked out of the shop did she ask herself 'why did I do that?' as if it was a surprise to her when really it was her intention all along. Charity was confused at her own behaviour. 'Oh well it's done now' she thought to herself the thrill of anticipation overtaking any sensible thinking.

She sat in the car and opened the bottle taking a few swigs and feeling relief. She knew she had to be careful, she was driving so chose to drive closer to home. She was also aware that she needed to hide it from Ness. Even though it wasn't a problem only a little help to get through this difficult patch the last thing she needed right now was Vanessa going on about her drinking as well as the Kathleen saga.

Charity emptied the water bottle she got with her meal deal and filled it with vodka it was easier that way.
She drove home arriving shortly after 1pm and started making the evenings food.
Before she picked the boys up she took a last swig of her vodka and hid the water bottle in the spare wheel compartment. She went inside, brushed her teeth and popped a chewy in her mouth.

Vanessa returned around teatime. Charity served up their food and they sat chatting about the day.

"Did you see Nikki today?"

"Just briefly, she was busy. How was your day?"

"Cold, I was out on calls. Sometimes I wonder if the farmers do it on purpose instead of bringing in the animal in question they leave them out so you've got to traipse across the bloody field to find it. So much easier if they brought them in the barn. Some do but the odd old bugger expects you to check it out in the middle of the bloody field. I was fuming."

Charity laughed.

"You want me to run you a bath?"

"Spoiling me again" Vanessa reached out and covered Charitys hand with hers. "I love you, I love coming home to you, to our family, our home."

Charity smiled "I love you too Ness." Before removing her hand and going upstairs to run a bath.

"Go on then babe, the baths run nice and hot with radox. Go and enjoy a lovely soak."

"Oh I will"

Charity cleared the dishes, the boys were already in their pyjamas early. When she'd finished the dishes she nipped out to the car and opened the boot taking a few swigs to keep the edge off.
As she went back inside she heard Vanessa coming down the stairs so she went out back for a smoke.
Once she'd finished she went inside up to the bathroom.

Going back downstairs she joined Vanessa on the sofa with a brew.

"Thank you for spoiling me"

"That's okay babes you deserve it" said Charity planting a kiss on her lips. Vanessa froze for a second and Charity sensed it.

"What?"

"Nothing"

"There's something by your reaction. What it is Ness?"

Vanessa was in two minds what to say but she knew Charity knew she was uncomfortable so she had to say something.

"Nothing" she laughed "I just thought I caught a whiff of alcohol."

"I used the mouthwash because I had a smoke."

"oh right" Vanessa laughed nervously.

"What? You don't believe me?"

"No no it's not that...I just worry that's all. I know things have been difficult lately...and you've not been yourself since you met Kathleen....and you're not talking about it."

"Vanessa we've been through this. I hate when you keep banging on about it pushing and pushing. I've told you there's nothing to talk about. You just can't leave it can you."

"You need to talk to someone Charity. I hate this it's like walking on eggshells everytime Kathleen is mentioned."

"Well don't mention her then. It's you who keeps bringing her up. Anyway I talk to Nikki and in group. I just don't want her part of our lives...I want to keep her separate from us because she has no part in our lives."

"That's all I need to know Charity. I'm reassured that you're working through it and I understand now why you don't want to talk about it here at home with me. I'm sorry you felt I was pushing only I was worried."

"It's okay I know you're concerned but you don't need to be I'm fine. Come 'ere." Charity reached out and put her arms around Vanessa giving her a tight hug.

"You worry too much Ness."

Vanessa gave a little smile, a smile that made Charity ache inside, guilt ridden but convincing herself that she's in control. Once she got over the shock of Kathleen she would stop, it just helped for now.

That evening as they went upstairs to bed, Vanessa was brushing her teeth. Without a thought she picked up the mouthwash and read the bottle, it was alcohol based, she made a mental note to suggest a different brand that she likes not wanting Charity to feel as though she was nagging. Immediately she felt guilty for being suspicious. She hated that she was thinking like this. 'I trust her' she thought to herself 'but then why am I acting like this? I need to be more postive'.

Vanessa went into the bedroom, Charity was already in bed with her back to Vanessa. She pulled back the duvet and climbed in.

"Night babes"

Vanessa wanted intimacy even if it wasn't sex a cuddle would be nice. She didn't want Charity to feel she was pushing her again so she moved towards her and spooned her kissing her softly on her neck.

"Night"

The next few days passed pretty much the same. Charity went to Hotten most days to the centre (or so Vanessa thought) her mood seemed stable but she was distant. They'd had no sex for almost a week which troubled Vanessa as it was very unusual but Charity did have stuff on her mind and was tired a lot. Maybe this stuff with Kathleen was taking it's toll emotionally Vanessa thought.

Early evening after tea Vanessa was scrolling on her phone. She was looking for ideas for a family outing, maybe a show to take the boys to.
She checked the banking app on her phone for their budget and saw cash withdrawals every other day.

"Why are you making cash withdrawals?" She innocently asked Charity.

"What? Are you checking up on me? I need to eat when I'm out. Would you rather I made a sandwich?"

"What do you mean checking up on you?" Vanessa laughed "it's just unusual for you, you normally pay everything by card for convenience!"

"Well there's cash points near the centre it's convenient enough." Charity shot back.

"No need to get annoyed I was only saying."

"What...do you want me to bring receipts?"

"Charity. Why are you being so defensive?"

"It's you..you're always questioning me."

"I'm not! I only said it because it was unusual for you...sorry I mentioned it now." Vanessa huffed. She was getting a bit pissed off with Charitys moods she felt unable to say anything without Charity twisting it.

In bed that night the distance continued. Vanessa was desperate to talk about this lack of intimacy but she didn't want to piss Charity off and have another argument so she done what she did everynight, she cuddled into Charity, loving her, supporting her.

Chapter Text

 IRELAND

The post van trundled along the country road turning right onto the private lane running up to the modern farmhouse.

 "Good morning Ria how are ya?"

 "Good morning Sean I'm good and yourself?"

"Ah can't complain" he laughed.

"Any good news with you?"

"You've some bills and a hand written letter. Don't see many of them now."

"Thanks"

"How's Gypsy?"

"Sean she'll only break your heart, she's a free spirit no intention of settlin."

He blushed and smiled and bid his goodbye.

Ria chuckled to herself, there wasn't a young fella in the county that didn't have his heart set on marrying Gypsy.

Ria walked back into the warm farmhouse, she threw another log onto the fire and settled herself in the old chesterfield wingback and lifted her feet to rest on the footstool.

She didn't recognise the writing, it was a local postmark. She turned it in her hands and opened it.

...Dear Ria
You may not remember me Kathleen Dingle you aunt, Charitys mum. I know you probably thought I had passed, it's a long story but I'd like to come and see you if that's okay? I was passing through the area and was aware that you lived here. I'm staying at a guesthouse in the town. It didn't take long to find your address. I'd really love to see you again. You can call the guesthouse to arrange to meet if you want to. The number is at the top of this letter.
I do hope to see you.
Sincerely
Kathleen...

"Well well" said Ria to herself lowering the letter to rest on her lap while she found solace staring into the dancing flames of the fire.

The sound of the door latch broke her out of her thoughts.

"You alright Ma?" Asked Gypsy as it's not often she sees her mother sitting by the fire when lunch time is approaching.

"Yeah love I'll get the lunch ready now. I'll be nipping into town this afternoon. I have a few things to pick up."

After lunch Ria got herself ready and drove into town. Being a small town she knew the place where Kathleen was staying. She parked up and entered the lobby.

"Ah how are ya Ria? I wondered if it was a relative of yours Ms Dingle."

Ria smiled politely not offering any further information as she knew small town talk and was not in the habit of feeding it.

"Can you call her room and let her know there's a visitor here"

"Sure"

Kathleen was resting on the bed when the phone startled her.

"Hello"

"Ms Dingle your visitor has arrived."

Kathleen froze, there was only one person who knew where she was...Ria.

"Ok...I...I'll be down now"

Kathleen walked out of her room reluctantly but eager not to keep Ria waiting. She realised she hadn't thought this through properly. What on earth was she going to say? Hi Ria remember me Charitys mum and actually your mum, I gave you away then faked my own death for about 40 years but I'm here now..."shit" Kathleen panicked.

She stood in the lobby Ria was thumbing through a magazine with her back to her.

"Ria" Kathleen said softly.

Ria turned and a small gasp escaped Kathleen. She had features of Charity, eyes green/grey ....a shade darker but unmistakeable, a gap in her front teeth, dark hair and red cheeks from years of working outdoors on the land. She was beautiful.

"Kathleen Dingle...I never expected to see you again"

They went to a local pub, Ria ordered a half guiness Katheen took a brandy. Ria led them to the fireplace where a roaring fire was throwing out a comforting heat.

"So Kathleen or should I call you Lazarus?" Ria asked dryly.

"It's a long story. I had to get away from Obadiah Charitys dad. You didn't know him." Kathleen started but was quickly cut off by Ria.

"Let's cut to the chase Kathleen, I don't beat around the bush. You mean Obadiah my dad"

Kathleen froze, her mouth open and stared at Ria.

"Close your mouth Kathleen or the bats will be nesting in it. Don't look surprised I've known for nearly 30 years. My biggest shock is you being alive but other than that I've no feelings about it or about you. My only concern now is Charity. I'm presuming if you've come to see me you've been to see her."

Kathleen nodded.

"And I take it it didn't go too well?"

Kathleen shook her head tears welling in her eyes. "I'm....so...sorry Ria" Kathleen was close to breaking.

"Stop the tears. Don't make a scene here."

Kathleen composed herself.

"If I'd of known back then what you both would have to go through...."

"Hindsights a wonderful thing. Charity told you did she?"

Kathleen nodded.

"She shouldn't have done that..my secrets are mine alone to tell"

"She was angry" said Kathleen.

"I bet she was...still it was not her place to tell you.
You see Kathleen it's great for you coming back from the dead salving your conscience and shedding all your secrets. Have you really thought about this? You have no idea of the secrets other people carry and the damage you inflict on them when you start trying to make amends and getting your own shit in order. Some things are best left unsaid.
I have protected Charity over the years and you come with a great big wrecking ball and have probably smashed her to pieces with your truths and what did it achieve? Did you really think she'd welcome you with open arms  and offer forgiveness for her shitty life? I saw her at her lowest Kathleen I was there in the gutter beside her. Where were you then? When she was 15 and me 16 going on 17 living in squats having sex with men to put food in our bellys and yes to buy drugs that took away the pain of our fucked up damaged lives. She was 15 and already had 2 kids one was taken from her and the other died and she was 15 years old Kathleen sex working living in a squat, both of us like street rats. You have no idea what damage you have caused by coming back into her life with your truths. Me I don't care, I've had 30 years to come to terms with it but for Charity it's all raw she had no idea we were sisters. I suggest you go back to where you were hiding and leave her be."

"I'm sorry Ria...how can I make it better?"

"Are you for fuckin real? Go Kathleen my concern is Charity not you. Don't you go near her. Leave me your contact details but don't hold your breath. This may be the only time you see me."

Ria drained her guiness and left.

That evening Ria sat alone until the early hours staring into the fire..thinking...thinking. Finally around 3 am she got up and threw the slack on the flames for the night. She had made her decision, she would go to England to Yorkshire because she knew for sure that her little sister needed her more than ever.

Chapter Text

It was the fourth call she had made in a number of days and still she kept going through to voicemail. She left another message, this time she voiced her concerns. She would wait to see if there was any response.

Charity was sitting on the sofa in Jacobs Fold. She put her phone down beside her and sighed. She kept meaning to go to the centre but she had needed space and to be alone.
The problem was it wasn't going away, she thought if she took some time that she could sort her head out and get on with her life but it wouldn't go away. The constant churning in her mind about Kathleen having abandoned her, Kathleen coming back and spilling her secrets about Ria. 'Why did she have to do that?' She thought. 'Why couldn't she stay where she had been hiding and everyone could have gotten on with their lives. My life was going great before she showed up and now I'm right back in that shitty pit ashamed and lying to people...lying to Ness'
Charity couldn't feel more guilt if she tried it was dripping of her and she hated herself for it.

 Vanessa was getting suspicious and she'd changed the bloody mouthwash saying she preferred a different brand but Charity knew. She also questioned why she wasn't paying by card but withdrawing cash. Charity hated the questioning, she hated the secretive shroud that had wrapped itself around her again.
She sat with her head in her hands "I can't keep lying" but she was scared, scared that if she told Vanessa what was happening that she had been sneaking the vodka she would want to know why and Charity certainly didn't want to have that conversation. "Fuck you Kathleen Dingle" she hissed through gritted teeth. She felt trapped, unable to find a way out and she knew she was sinking deeper.

She picked up her phone and listened to the voicemail.

...Charity it's me again...please ring me I've big concerns girl...I know the signs and I'm worried about you. I'm just going to come right out and say it..if something has happened and you've relapsed call me now. I can't help if you won't let me but if you need help and want help I'm right here waiting..Nikki xxx

Charitys thumb hovered over her phone to call Nikki back, she locked her phone and put it down again. She didn't want to explain the fucked up situation to anyone, she'd rather forget about the whole thing The only thing that made it go away although temporary was the vodka, she was well and truly trapped and she knew it. Filled with despair she opened her phone again and sent a quick text to Nikki.

...Sorry been really busy,stuff with my mum. I'll call you soon. No need to worry I'm fine xxx

Nikki saw the text notification, she opened her phone and read it, she sighed deeply 'no you're not fine Charity Dingle' she thought to herself.
Nikki dialled Vanessas number.

"Hi Nikki is everthing alright?"

"Hey Vanessa..actually I was calling to ask you that question."

"Me? Why?"

"I haven't seen Charity for nearly 2 weeks."

"You what? She's been going to the centre most days and I asked her specifically had she seen you and she said yes." Vanessa's voice became franctic.

"Vanessa calm down, take a deep breath."

"Calm down! I knew something was going on I smelt alcohol and she said it was mouthwash. I checked and it was alcohol based so I changed the brand and she been making cash withdrawals. She always used her card, she's hiding it from me....."

Vanessa rambled on, Nikki let her get it off her chest she'd been in this position more times than she ever wanted to be. The anguish of family members, partners, kids when someone relapsed.

"What do I do Nikki? This is since she met her mum but she won't talk about it."

"It's obviously triggered something but unless she talks there's nothing anyone can do to help her."

"In your experience is it best I challenge her outright? She just seems to have excuses for everthing. She makes me think that it's me whose got a problem saying I question her. Then I feel bad and guilty for it."

"That's the way the addict plays it Vanessa, puts the blame on others and gives very reasonable arguments to throw you off the scent. She'll be very clever in hiding it that's what we addicts are good at lying to preserve ourselves when we are actively using. She won't want to lie to you and is probably beating herself up about it, hating herself but she will feel she has no other choice. Vanessa don't be angry at her there's something that's gone very wrong for her to relapse. Charity has always been so committed and has done so well she wouldn't throw that away easily.
Did you ask her about the cash withdrawals?"

"I did I mentioned it because it was odd, it was an observation but she felt I was questioning her and checking up on her but I wasn't it was just because it was unusual because she always pays by card for convenience."

"What did she say was the reason?"

"She said there's cash points by the centre so it's convenient enough."

"She's being secretive..classic sign. From experience if it were me I would be trying to find other ways to access money or alcohol to ease suspicion. She still has access to the pub stock?"

"Shit...yes" vanessa closed her eyes as it sunk in and bit on her lip to try and stop herself crying.

"She might try and source her alcohol from there. Keep an eye on her if she's visiting more frequent at the pub. If you or Chas catch her at it then challenge her because she can't deny it. If you challenge her without solid proof she'll talk her way out of it, twisting it so it's you who has the problem because you don't trust her and she'll dig herself even deeper in the pit through the guilt that comes with lying. She'll feel shame and unfortunately shame is a big feeder in the cycle of addiction."

Vanessa broke down on the phone.

"I'm sorry Vanessa...we are here to support you, you"re not alone in this."

"I can't go through it again, what about the kids? I can't do it again Nikki."

"Vanessa it's just a blip, if we can get her to talk about what's caused her to relapse before it goes too far she'll be okay. It's finding the opportunity, if she feels pressured she may clam up more. This has to come from Charity unless you have undeniable proof she's drinking and she can't turn it on you then my advice would be wait until she's ready to talk or you risk pushing her further into denial."

"How am I supposed to face her Nikki when I know she's lying to me?"

"Vanessa addiction is an illness. Look how well she has done, she's been amazing this past year she's tried so hard and succeeded in staying sober. Something has gone very wrong for her and it's obviously connected to her mum. I know it feels impossible but please try and remember when you feel anger that she's in a very desperate and lonely place. Call me anytime Vanessa and link back in with Fiona for some support if you feel you need to. I'll have a chat with Fiona and let her know what's happening, we are here to support you as well as Charity."

"Thanks Nikki I'll call you again."

Vanessa sat down in the consulting room her heart heavy, she wiped her eyes and tried to shake off the conversation. She took a deep breath and called for her next patient which was thankfully routine innoculations so she didn't have to think too much.

Chapter Text

IRELAND
Ria was busy cooking the evening meal, it was a tradition they had kept as a family even when the children were grown. Each night they met around the dinner table, it was a place of belonging, of support and a chance to air any grievance. Family was important to Ria and she kept them all close. The twins and Gypsy had never moved out and Solomon had built a house in the field adjacent for his family.

Tonight she would tell her children. They knew parts of her past but the most of it she kept locked away. They didn't know about Charity or about her real parents she just hadn't seen the need to tell them. Her life was here in Ireland, she was estranged from her family and it was never questioned. They always believed Polly and Ezra were her parents, that Polly was dead and she had no contact with Ezra or her brothers.

Her kids were everything to her, they had wanted for nothing growing up in the idyllic countryside far from any other Dingles and the life Ria had known.
They had been born and raised in Ireland their father had died when Solomon her eldest son was 14, the twins 12 and Gypsy was 10. Now they were adults she hoped they would understand more when she told them certain details about her past. They didn't need to know everything but just enough to explain their unknown aunt Charity.

EMMERDALE

Vanessa entered Jacobs Fold, Charity was sitting on the floor playing with the boys. Johnny and Moses jumped up excitedly and ran to greet Vanessa.

"Hello my little munchkins" she cooed hugging them.
She looked up at Charity who was now standing, Charity smiled at her and Vanessa's heart hammered in her chest. She felt so angry inside but managed a smile in return.
The smile was weak in comparison to her usual beam when she saw Charity.

"You okay babe?" Charity had picked up on it.

"Yeah difficult day."

"Can I get you anything? Run you a nice bath?"

How about a vodka was on the tip of Vanessas tongue but she swallowed the words and simply said "a bath would be nice".

She turned away from Charity finding it hard to look at her. Vanessa remembered Nikki's words 'unless you have solid proof don't challenge her or she'll turn it on you and you risk pushing her further into denial'. Vanessa couldn't bear the thought of pushing her further into her relapse but it was so hard. She knew it was to do with Kathleen and it affected her as well as Charity, Vanessa herself felt trapped. Trapped by the deceit that had woven it's filthy tendrils back into their lives. Charity was lying to her and she was in effect lying to Charity by pretending she didn't know. But then did she know for sure? It could be possible Charity was meeting Kathleen in secret, building a relationship, testing the waters before she allowed her into her family.
The mouthwash was alcohol based and there were cashpoints by the centre although she hadn't being going there she may be meeting Kathleen in Hotton. She had no solid proof just indicators and suspicion.

"Babe? Earth to Vanessa..."

"Sorry I was miles away."

"You want to eat first?"

"Actually I'm not hungry I'll just take a bath." Vanessa had no appetite only a heaviness in her gut.

As Vanessa soaked in the bath it was far from relaxing, her mind churned over constantly. She hated this lack of communication it was driving them apart, driving a wedge between them. She needed to talk to Charity, she couldn't let her continue drinking it would destroy her and their family. However if she challenged her it could push her further away. If she told Charity Nikki had called her concerned as she hadn't seen Charity then Charity would be angry at Nikki and could cut contact completely with her isolating herself more.
Vanessa screamed silently into her hands 'this fucking nightmare' she thought 'fuck you Kathleen Dingle'. She could quite happily swing for Kathleen if she saw her.

After her bath she wandered downstairs.

"You want a brew?" She asked Charity.

"No thanks babe."

Vanessa made one for herself and joined Charity on the sofa, she began chatting to the boys distracting herself and avoiding conversation with Charity.

"Did you see their new art work on the fridge?" Said Charity.

"Er..no I didn't notice"

"Didn't notice? You usually look for it! show mummy your pictures boys"

Moses and Johnny got up excitedly and led Vanessa to the fridge. There on the fridge was two drawings of their family all holding hands. Charity was hiding her giggles at the stick figures with yellow hair for her and Vanessa, on top of Noahs head was something resembling a birds nest and something at the side of Johnnys picture resembling a penis which was apparently the cactus on the kitchen window. Vanessa really didn't feel like laughing but it did raise a laugh from her.

"Oh they're lovely pictures!" she praised.

They looked up at her all proud and happy with themselves.

"I love my mummy's" shouted Moses

"Yes I love my mummy's wrote on both your pictures, that's sweet. We love you too!" Vanessa squatted to their level and hugged and kissed them both. As she stood to her feet she met Charitys eyes, Vanessa physically felt her heart flip over in her chest. Even after being together for so long this woman standing in front of her could still make her weak at the knees. She wanted to lunge forward and crash her lips onto Charitys but instead she turned away frightened of what she might taste.

Charity sensed Vanessa was hiding something. She felt Vanessas disappointment rest on her already tired shoulders, the weight was becoming too heavy to bear. The weight of her secrets, Vanessas disappointment, responsibility, deceit...the list goes on, Charity was being crushed beneath it and wanted desperately to reach out and ask Vanessa to help but she couldn't. If she did Vanessa would want to know more and Charity wasn't ready to speak about it yet....maybe not ever.
She'll get through this somehow.....

That night as they went to bed Charity kissed Vanessa goodnight and turned her back as she had done for the past 2 weeks. Vanessa turned away herself unable to hold Charity close when she herself needed support, needed someone to hold her and reassure her that everything will be okay. Charity felt the invisible wall between them and wondered why Vanessa had turned cold on her, it added to the feelings of shame and worthlessness that saturated her inner self. A tear rolled down the side of her face and another across the bridge of her nose onto the pillow. She swallowed hard and thought of random stupid things to stop the pain.

Vanessa stared at the wall her own tears wetting her pillow as she pushed her own pain and hurt down, she didn't want Charity to hear her crying, she couldn't bear another argument as Charity's defenses were high. As she composed herself she made the choice to choose love not anger and she turned to face Charity draping her arm across her waist and tucking her legs in behind hers, scooching as close as she could desperate to convey to Charity that she will hold her through her pain whatever it was.

Charity felt relief wash over her.

IRELAND

As the sun rose spreading its rays across the chilly land Ria was clearing out the ashes from the hearth and setting the fire for the day. The family meeting went better than she'd hoped with not too many questions from her kids.
She had booked her flight for a weeks time in order to give them a chance to let the news sink in about Charity and some of the stuff Ria had disclosed. If any of them had questions the week would give her opportunity to answer them. Gypsy had wanted to accompany her but Ria told her she had to go alone this time.
She wondered how Charity was and how Kathleens revelations had affected her, she hoped Charity had solid support around her just like she did when she found out the truth all those years ago.

Chapter Text

The next morning at breakfast there was a tension in the air although the boys didn't seem to notice.

"So what have you got planned for today?" Vanessa asked Charity.

"Dunno yet, I'm going to call in and have a cuppa with Chas later. It's been a while since we had a catch up."

Vanessa's heart sunk "You not going into Hotten today?"

"Not sure I'll see later. Have you got much on today?"

"I'm in the surgery all day on duty, we could have lunch together?"

"Mm I'll text you later if I'm not going to Hotten. You coming to school with us?"

"Er no...I'll just take my time getting ready, I didn't sleep too good last night."

"Why's that babe?"

"Just stuff on my mind Charity."

"What stuff?"

"It doesn't matter, I don't want you to feel I'm questioning or pushing you." Vanessa's tone was pissed off as she walked off upstairs.

Charity was a little taken back by Vanessa's response, she watched her walk away tempted to snark back at her but too tired for an argument. 'She'll get over it' she thought to herself.

"Come on boys lets get you to school. Upstairs and brush your teeth and say bye to mummy."

As Vanessa heard the front door finally close she quickly picked up her phone and scrolled through her contacts. She dialled Chas's number wlling her to pick up.

"Morning love..early aren't you. Is everything okay?"

"Er...morning Chas..no actually things aren't okay."

"Why what's happened?"

"Are you able to talk..privately?"

"Er...Yeah... Paddy's here is that a problem?"

" No..Chas... I think Charitys drinking again."

"Oh for fucks sake...why? What makes you think that?"

"You know she's been really off since meeting Kathleen. She still won't talk to me about it, she said she talks to Nikki and in group because she doesn't want Kathleen to be a part of us and doesn't want to bring her name into our home."

"Yeah go on"

"I had a call from Nikki concerned because she hasn't seen Charity for 2 weeks."

"Well maybe she's processing stuff herself. Do you think she's meeting Kathleen?"

"It crossed my mind but the other night I caught a whiff of alcohol and when I mentioned to Charity she said she had used mouthwash. I checked the mouthwash it was alcohol based so I've swapped brands. It was Charity who bought that recently possibly to cover up I don't know. She's also making cash withdrawals whereas she always used her card previously. She obviously doesn't want me to know what and where she is spending."

"Oh bloody 'ell...oh Ness I'm so sorry. Stupid question but are you okay love?"

"Chas don't ask because I'll cry if you show concern. I haven't spoken to Charity about it, she's so defensive already and says I'm always questioning and pushing her to talk about stuff. She turns it on me like I'm the one with the problem. "

"That doesn't sound good."

"Nikki said not to challenge her unless there's definate proof otherwise she'll just lie and turn it on me. Listen Chas I think Charity knows I'm suspicious, I asked her about the cash withdrawals and she made some excuse but Nikki thinks she'll try and get money or alcohol in other ways now she thinks I might be on to her. She told me this morning she's going to call in and see you today. I'm worried she's got access to the pub stock."

Chas sighed deeply "I get you..okay I'll keep an eye on her when she's here."

"Thanks Chas"

"Oh love I don't want to go through that again with her. I can't imagine how hard this is for you."

"This is bloody Kathleen this is.. Chas she must be desperate to start drinking again. I don't know what Kathleen said to her but whatever it was she's drinking to escape it. I don't know what's so awful that she can't speak to me about it."

"I'm sure she will eventually love."

"Yeah..bye Chas"

"Bye love"

Chas sighed deeply as she ended the call. Paddy looked at her chewing his toast.
"Charity back on the booze?" He asked.

"Possibly..well most likely..it's looking that way."

"How's Vanessa?"

"How do you think? Devastated. Don't say anything to anyone Paddy and especially not Rhona. Vanessa needs to handle this discreetly."

"I won't. Shame though Charity was doin so well. How does she always manage to fuck things up? Poor Ness."

"Paddy you and I both know that Charity is not your average run of the mill person. She's complex and when she can't cope she goes on self destruct. I don't know anyone who could survive what she has and still be functioning and I don't know why you have to be so hard on her. "

"Like you're never hard on her!"

"Yeah well she does push people to their limits but when the angers gone I feel guilty because I know the shit she's been through. I just hope she doesn't go too far this time."

"Well I'm off, busy morning." Paddy got up and gave Chas a peck on the cheek.

"See you later" he said.

"Yeah see you later love."

Vanessa was dressed and ready to leave for work when Charity returned. Charity took off her coat and began to clear the breakfast dishes as Vanessa came downstairs.

"So I'll be off then" Vanessa said quietly.

"Yeah" was the short response.

Vanessa really needed a hug but Charity kept her distance.

"Charity....I feel like your avoiding me, like there's no communication and I just really need a hug."

"I'm not avoiding you Ness you're the one whose not speaking to me much."

Vanessa sighed, she just wanted things to be normal again for them to be happy. Everytime she tried to speak to Charity she turned it on her and put the blame with Vanessa. Vanessa was so frustrated that the truth nearly burst out of her. Instead she turned and grabbed her bag unable to deal with the hurt she felt.

"Ness" Charity called after her.

Vanessa stopped in her tracks but didn't turn around. Charity walked towards her and put her hand on her shoulder turning her round and into her arms.

"I'm sorry Ness I've got a lot of stuff on my mind" said Charity softly.

"That stuff Charity also affects me, we share our lives so when you're going through stuff I'm going through stuff and that will also affect our boys."

"I know...I'll deal with it...I'm sorry."

Vanessa broke their embrace, picked up her bag  again and went out the door leaving Charity standing there wondering how she was going to fix this.

Charity went back to the kitchen and continued washing the dishes. The cravings were coming so strong she left the dishes and couldn't concentrate on anything but thoughts of getting her fix. She decided she would go and visit Chas to take her mind off things. She was aware of the other thoughts invading her mind..the pub...there's vodka..a little shot will help. She didn't want those thoughts and chose to deny they were motivating her. Instead she told herself she needed company to distract herself, Chas was family and the fact that she lived at the pub meant nothing.
She put on her coat and made her way to the Woolpack.

Chapter Text

Charity let herself in through the back door, Chas was in the living room with Eve.

"Morning" greeted Charity.

"Morning, not seen you for a while. How are you?"

"I'm okay just thought I'd pop in for a cuppa and some company"

"Kettle's not long boiled, I got distracted with Eve but now you're here you can make me one"

Charity made them both a brew and sat down.

"So I haven't had a real chance to talk to you since this stuff with Kathleen. How did it go?"

"Nothing to talk about, she gave her excuses saying me dad would have killed her if she stayed. I said so you left me with him so he still had a punchbag and that was pretty much it. She reckons he adored me so she thought I'd be okay. She even thought I'd look for her, I said fat chance when I was told she'd died of cancer. That was it"

"Have you seen her since?"

"No I told her to do one, she made her choice when she left me. I won't be seeing her again"

"And how have you been since?"

"Fine..why?"

"Just asking...that's big stuff to deal with, Kathleen coming back"

"Yeah well I'm dealing with it"

"How?"

Chas could visibly see Charity's defenses rise "what is it with people questioning all the time? I don't want to talk about it" Charity voice rose.

"Hey I was only asking concerned about you and don't raise your voice around Eve she's just gone off to sleep again " Chas said softly.

Charity shifted in her seat.

"You seem a bit edgy"

"Chas I'm fine just leave it. I only came here for  a cuppa and some company"

Chas smiled at her and they continued talking about more mundane things.

"Actually do you mind watching Eve in case she wakes while I go and get a quick shower?"

"No it's fine I'll watch her"

Chas went upstairs and Charity's heart started to pound in her chest. This was her chance, she hesitated loathing herself but the cravings hammered her thoughts until she stood up. She listened at the door and heard the shower running. She checked Eve and darted down the cellar and lifting a bottle of vodka. She unscrewed the lid and raised it to her lips taking a swig. The familiar burn was comforting, the company of her old friend relieving, instantly calming her mind. She started to think where she could hide it to get it out the door while taking another large swig when suddenly she heard a voice behind her.

"What do you think your doin? came Chas's firm voice.

Charity whirled around startled "I...I..it was just impluse, I don't why I did it Chas. It was just this once...I think it was being back in the pub. Please Chas don't tell Ness it was a slip that's all."

"Vanessa knows already Charity. You've been back on it a few weeks now. You're only fooling yourself thinking you can carry on like this. Give me the vodka Charity"

Charity stood frozen to the spot, she had a choice, Chas knew and apparently Vanessa. She could hand it over and admit defeat but if Vanessa knew anyway what's the point she's done for. Vanessa has been cold with her because she knew and she's sick of her 'well now she has proof she can kick me to the gutter where I belong, she's just been waiting to catch me out' she thought to herself.

"No" Charity answered.

"Charity give me the vodka" Chas became insistent.

"I said no!"

"Charity just hand it over please and we can get you help, nobody wants to go through this again especially you. Remember your health your liver and I know the damage was reversed but you may not be so lucky this time"

"Lucky!" Charity gave a manic laugh she was now in full flow of bile and poison. All the pent up hurt and pain now finding a escape as her world unravelled.

Chas heard Eve start to cry upstairs "Charity please just give it to me I have to go to Eve"

"No it's my life Chas and you know nothing about it"

Chas was desperate she needed to get to Eve but she didn't want to leave Charity. She thought about locking her in the cellar and calling Vanessa but decided it was not a good idea given the amount of alcohol down there and Vanessa may not be able to come yet. She could deal with Charity by herself but with Eve there she couldn't and Eve takes priority.
Chas turned and ran up the stairs as Eve was now in full blown cry.

Charity went up after her and walked through the lounge the bottle still in her hand. She ignored Chas and went straight to the back door and out.

Chas sighed trying to settle Eve but unsuccessfully as Eve sensed her stress. It took sometime to calm herself and Eve. As soon as Eve was settled she called Vanessa, it went to voicemail.
She called Paddy, voicemail.

"Fuck"

Chas couldn't do anything but keep ringing Vanessa and Paddy. An hour passed by and Paddy returned her call.

"What's up? I've had a zillion missed calls from you"

"Paddy you need to get hold of Vanessa, Charity's gone off on one. I don't want to call the landline Pearl will be on high alert for gossip and I can't get her on the mobile. Can you get back to the surgery? Vanessa will have to leave and sort Charity out."

"I'm on my way back there now"

"Call the office and tell Vanessa to ring me"

Chas waited, finally her phone lit up with Vanessa's name.

"Vanessa Charity needs you. I caught her in the cellar swigging a bottle of vodka. She's gone off with the bottle possibly more. She's gone crazy...I'm sorry love I can't leave Eve or I'd have followed her"

"How long ago was this Chas"

"Over a hour ago I've been trying to call you and Paddy, he's on his way back so you can go"

Vanessa dropped the call and started to gather her things. Tears streamed down her face she had no idea where Charity was or what state she would find her in or how she was going to deal with this. Vanessa wiped her eyes, she needed to stay strong. Charity needed her, she willed Paddy to hurry up.

Paddy came through the door flustered, her rushed past Pearl and into the consulting room where Vanessa stood.

"I'm sorry Vanessa, you go I'll hold the fort here"

Vanessa could only nod and whisper thanks before rushing past him and out the door.

Chapter Text

Charity was back at Jacobs Fold, she was sat in the armchair in oblivion, her confrontation with Chas at the Woolpack had sent her over the edge completely. Inside her head was her own voice accompanied by what sounded to her like 50 screaming demons. She had recognised some, anger yeah she knew anger, anger was a frequent visitor. Bitterness, self loathing, shame, guilt she named the frequent visitors but had difficulty identifying the new ones that had sneaked in. With each swig the oblivion she desperately sought had wrapped around her like a blanket until she felt numb.

"Doesn't matter anyway cos I've lost everything" she slurred mumbling and muttering to herself.

She decided to go out for a smoke and tried to stand. As she slid to the edge of the chair and pushed herself up from the arms of the chair she lunged forward off balance and head first into the coffee table causing a split on her scalp. She lay on the floor stunned before dragging herself to her knees and attempting to stand once again.
As she pulled herself up using the chair she felt warmth trickle down her face, reaching her hand up her fingers touched something wet. She moved her hand in front of her face and  saw the crimson streams that patterned her fingers running to her palms where it then pooled in the creases of her palm lines. She was transfixed by the sight.
Suddenly she remembered she was going for a smoke and staggered out the back leaving a bloodied handprint on all she touched but she unaware.

Vanessa went straight to the Woolpack to get more information from Chas.

"Chas has she been back?"

"No love"

"What happened?"

"She said she'd called in for company, she was edgy. To be honest I set her up, Eve was sleeping in the lounge and I asked would she watch Eve while I had a quick shower. I waited leaving the shower running then came back down quietly, she was already in the cellar swigging a bottle of vodka."

"And what happened then?"

"She said it was a one off but I told her she was only fooling herself and we knew she'd been back on it for weeks."

"You told her I knew?"

"Well kind of"

"Shit"

"She refused to hand it over, Eve was crying I had to see to her. Charity was shouting, getting nasty and manic. She walked past me in the lounge I saw one bottle in her hand but she may have slipped another in her waistband because her shirt was out, I'm not sure though."

"Where do you think she'll go?"

"Don't know maybe home. she knows you know so she doesn't have to hide it now"

"Or limit it" added Vanessa. "Chas can you pick the boys up from school and bring them here?"

"Yeah no probs"

"I'll text Noah later and tell him to come here after school. I don't want the kids seeing her"

"If you need me once Noahs home and Paddys in they can manage the kids I can come and help"

"Thanks Chas. I'll let you know when I find her, her phone's switched off"

Vanessa left the Woolpack and headed to Jacobs Fold dreading what she was going to find.

Vanessa opened the door, the smell hit her nostrils violently a mixture of ethanol, vomit and cigarette smoke. Her eyes fell on the pathetic looking sack of hopelessness head down swaying in the chair. Vanessa gasped, she couldn't comprehend the scene before her. What on earth had happened? What on earth had the power to reduce her strong, courageous and feisty fiancee to this pathetic mess in front of her? Vanessa felt she had been punched in the gut and all the wind knocked out of her.

"Charity" she whispered.

Charity slowly raised her head revealing dark remenants of blood stains on her face and neck.

"Charity....what's happened?" Vanessa's voice was full of concern as she crumbled with emotion at the sight in front of her.

Charity's head weaved back and forth slowly like a nodding dog on the back shelf of a car. She had no control to keep it still as she tried to focus on Vanessa.

"Well you tell me Va..ness.a. Were you laughing at me waiting to catch me out?" She slurred.

"What? No...Charity I've been so worried. You can't go on like this you'll kill yourself...look at the state of you. I can't bear to see you like this, this is not you"

"You don't know what is me"

"What happened to your face?"

Charity rambled unintelligibly and hiccuped, her head dropped again.

Vanessa walked slowly towards her, she placed her hand on Charitys chin and the other at the back of her head to support her head as she inspected the wound.

"You might need a stitch or two"

"I'm fine"

"Charity you're not fine. You're a mess, you're so out of it do you even know what you've done to yourself?"

"I'm fine va..ness..a" she emphasised Vanessa again.

"You've got a nasty wound on your head, it looks like it's bled a lot but then head wounds do. Look at the mess the bloodied handprints on the sofa and walls."

"Is.that.all you..care about" slurred and with attitude.

Vanessa sighed and sat down on the sofa.

"Charity...this has to stop. I can't do this...I can't help you if you won't tell me what's wrong. I know you hate me bringing this up but this is to do with Kathleen. Since you met her something has changed, something is eating you up, it's destroying you, destroying us and I need you to talk to me if we are going to get through this."

Charitys face crumpled up with pain "I can't...I can't..."

"Yes you can...you..you can tell me anything" Vanessa moved towards Charitys and knelt on the floor in front of her stroking her hair back from her face and holding her face in her hands "you can tell me my love..I can't bear to see you in so much pain."

"I'm not worth it" she mumbled.

"Yes you are"

Vanessa held her and let her cry until only sniffles were left.

"I'm tired" said Charity.

"You're emotionally exhausted, something is weighing you down. Where is this coming from?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You need too...it's destroying you. What else are you going to do? Carry on drinking yourself into oblivion? Destroy yourself, destroy our relationship and our family? Kathleen is not worth it, look at where you were...sober, happy you were doing amazing and now after one meeting with Kathleen you're throwing it all away? You're stronger than that."

"I'm not"

"Yes you are"

"She's destroyed everything"

"How? You had one meeting with her!"

Charity stared at nothing she knew it was now or never. She didn't want things to be this way, she's lost everything anyway..her self respect, her sobriety, trust and Vanessa.

"Shall I call Nikki?"

"No I don't want to see or talk to anyone"

"Then you need to talk to me Charity. Secrets destroy, there's nothing you can tell me that will make me stop loving you."

Charity scoffed "You won't even want to look at me" she mumbled.

"I've had enough of this Charity. I'm going to call Kathleen myself. I kept her number." Vanessa was trying to call her bluff and Charity rose to the bait.

"No" Charity shouted standing unsteadily to her feet and lunging at Vanessa to grab her phone from her. Being unable to fully control her movements her body barrelled into Vanessa who was knocked off balance and slammed into the kitchen unit before hitting the floor causing her to cry out in pain.

Charity stood swaying in shock and as realisation hit she moved toward Vanessa to help her up.

"I'm so sorry babe I didn't mean to hurt you"

Vanessa slowly got to her feet and backed away from Charity. The hurt in Vanessa's eyes cut through the boozey haze in Charity's head and pierced her heart.

"I know you didn't mean to do that but you did and the reason it happened was because you're not in control, you're drunk and while you continue to drink I can't be around you and neither can the kids. Charity you can stop this now."

Charity stood shaking her head and crying "I can't Ness, I can't it won't go away...it's in my head all the time."

"What's in your head? Tell me Charity and we can stop it together. I can help you."

Charity sat down on the sofa her head in her hands, Vanessa again knelt in front of her "what happened with Kathleen?"

Charity took a deep breath "She told me I have a sister."

"What? Charity why didn't you say...that's surely a good thing?"

Charity scoffed.

"Charity I didn't meet Tracey until we were adults and even though we didn't get on at first look at us now! Is she in Spain?"

"No....I've already met her Vanessa."

"What? When?"

"It's Ria....Ria's my sister." Charity broke again.

"Ria as in your cousin Ria? That you lived with in Bradford?"

Charity nodded.

Vanessa was stunned and lost for words until she eventually gathered her thoughts.

"Why did she grow up with your aunt and uncle?"

"Apparently me dad didn't believe she was his, said Kathleen had an affair and wouldn't let Ria stay to remind him of Kathleens sin. She said he choked her until she passed out one night by Ria's cot, Ria was crying. She was worried he would hurt her. She was pregnant with me at the time. She sent Ria to Polly and Ezra as they always wanted a girl."

Vanessa stood up and sat down on the sofa next to Charity.

"Does Ria know? Will you contact her?"

"She has no idea, she knew Kathleen died or so we thought and that Polly and Ezra were her parents. She had no contact with family after she ran away from home. I told you what happened with her brother after Polly died."

"What a complicated mess" Vanessa was still shocked "but Charity Ria is a different person now. You saw pictures of her on her daughters facebook. She has family...you're not the same person you were back then. I know you did drugs together and Ria gave you your first hit but you're different now. Back then you were both surviving life as best you could."

"I can never tell her Ness, she may be a different person now and yes she looks happy so why destroy her?"

"How would you destroy her? She might be really happy to know you're her sister."

"Ness...you don't understand. We did stuff back then to get what we needed, it was a really dark time and I can't bring it all back for her."

"You were happy that you had met her again in Bradford at that time."

"It's complicated Ness."

There was silence while eveything sunk in then Vanessa spoke cautiously "Charity.....did something happen between you and Ria?

Charity was silent.

"Were you..you know...together?"

"No" Charity sighed heavily "it wasn't like that."

Vanessa spoke slowly and softly "well...what was it...like?"

Charity started to cry "you know we were both working..."

"Sex work..yeah"

"Sometimes men....they..they" Charity stammered.

"Paid more for two girls?" Vanessa finished her sentence. Charity broke again crying hard, Vanessa took her in her arms and held her tight until the tears subsided "it's okay, it's okay."

They stayed like that for long time, Vanessa holding Charity in her pain finally realising the deep shame that had driven her back to self loathing and relapse. She was completely devastated for Charity.

Charity quietly spoke "I can't even look at myself in the mirror Ness."

"Charity you didn't know, neither of you did. You were two young adults who had both experienced so much trauma. Both addicts whose only goal was survival. You're not at fault...it was life and it had been cruel to you both growing up. I know you don't like counselling but I think it would really help you to process this and deal with it instead of trying to escape it."

"No Ness...I don't want to tell anyone. I'll get through it."

"What about your drinking? Nikki is your sponsor and I know that honesty is key in recovery. You'll need to speak with her at some point."

"I'm not going back there babe. I'm too ashamed, going back and admitting to everyone that I fucked up. I don't need to go anymore I'll just stop myself."

"When?"

"Babe I've got enough going on in my head please don't nag about me having a drink to help me through."

"Charity I meant what I said before. I can't be around you and neither can the kids when you're drinking. Please call Nikki and ask her to come here to see you if you can't face going there. You need to get back to your meetings or at least some 1 to 1. Charity people can help, remember how bad it got last time, your health suffered and it won't be long before liver damage starts to set in again. I don't want to lose you Charity and when you are drinking you start slipping away from me and from the kids."

"Ness I'm so ashamed"

'Of failing? That's part of the recovery journey and relapsing is not failing. Failing is not owning up. Success is relapsing but getting up again and being honest enough about it.
If you're feeling shame about what happened with Ria..Charity it happens more than you think. Sometimes it's childhood sexual experimentation between siblings, sometimes it's abuse and other times it happens with siblings who don't know they're related. I'm not minimising it but trying to help you understand that it happens, it's something you have to deal with or it will destroy you"

"You know...I often dreamt about what it would be like to have a sister. I mean Chas is the closet thing to having a sister but even Chas has turned against me in the past and sided with her family. With Cain, Sam, Belle and uncle Zac. All the times they excommunicated me I felt like an outsider never fully accepted even when they let me back in. Lisa was the only one who ever stuck up for me and she was a Dingle by marriage! She got me through many scrapes and was the nearest thing to a mother I had. Now I find out I do have a sister but I can never tell her and I have a mother that I can't bear to call a mother and I never want to see her again. It's so messed up Ness."

"Maybe in the future you can tell her."

"And say what!! Oh by the way Ria Polly and Ezra weren't really your parents. Your parents are Kathleen and Obadiah and I'm your sister tada!! You remember what we done to feed ourselves and score heroin back in the day...yeah Ness I'm really going to wade in and destroy her."

Vanessa groaned she felt so much pain for Charity.

"Babe I've got a stinking headache starting."

"It's the hangover kicking in...hopefully your last ever one and the er...head wound" Vanessa said raising an eyebrow at Charity.

Charity sighed "I don't know what to do Ness. I don't know where to go with this. I feel so empty again, I can't even look at myself."

"Call Nikki Charity, get some 1 to 1 support, some counselling. Get back to your meetings. Alcohol might give you temporary release but when it wears off it's all still there waiting for you, playing over and over like an old cassette tape in your head. If you don't sort it it will destroy you, destroy us. I mean it Charity I can't be with you if you continue drinking. I won't put our kids through that. You have a choice to make. We can journey together in your recovery or you can go solo and drink yourself into an early grave but I won't stand by you and watch that."

Charity cried again as she looked into Vanessa's eyes "help me Ness."

"Make the call Charity"

Charity slowly picked up her phone hands shaking and scrolled through to Nikki's number. She pressed the call button.

She heard Nikki's voice as she answered the call "Charity"

"I've fucked up Nikki" was all she managed to say before breaking down the rest of her words unintelligible.

"I know....I know love but you've done the right thing now and that's what matters."

Vanessa took the phone from Charity as she was in no state to continue their conversation. She sat next to her with her arm around her and arranged with Nikki to call at the house in the morning.

Vanessa then called Chas and asked could they have the boys for the night reassuring Chas that Charity was going to be okay.

They sat on the sofa in the silence the only sound was their tears as Vanessa held her through it. Finally the crying subsided, Vanessa squeezed Charity tightly then released her.

"Come on let's get you some paracetamol, get you showered and cleaned up."

Vanessa reached out her hand, Charity took it Vanessa helped her to her feet and led her upstairs relieved that Charity had finally opened up. She knew it was a difficult road ahead but she was confident that Charity wanted to make the right choices, however deep down she knew it wasn't that easy especially with the pain the recent revelations had brought to Charity. She could only hope that Charity would commit to facing that pain and resist the urge to escape it.

Chapter Text

Vanessa slowly opened her eyes slightly and immediately stretched closing them again.The bedroom was in darkness but she had glimpsed light around the edges of the curtains. She turned and curled herself toward Charity suddenly opening her eyes in panic as she found the space beside her empty and cold.

'Shit' was her immediate thought as she threw back the duvet and scrambled for her dressing gown. She found her slippers and made her way downstairs to find Charity sitting in the armchair. She looked up as Vanessa approached.

"Sorry babe I couldn't sleep but didn't want to disturb you, the water's still hot if you want a brew"

"You should have woke me. What time is it?"

"It's near 7 now."

"What time were you up?"

"Since about 4"

Vanessa walked to the kitchen her eyes scanning the worktops for any signs. She felt anxious as she tried to discreetly look in the bin. Her mind ticking over trying to think.

"You can stop looking. I'm sober babe."

Vanessa could have kicked herself for being so obvious but then she wasn't in the wrong. Isn't it natural to be worried...'fuck I hate thinking like this' she thought to herself.

"Is that through choice?" asked Vanessa curious as to how Charity would answer. Vanessa had gone back downstairs last night and discreetly disposed of the vodka from yesterday.

"No babes there's none in the house. I wanted to, I looked but the vodka from yesterday was gone and the empty bottles in the bin outside. I nearly tore the house apart before I found them. Surprised you didn't wake. Thanks for binning it otherwise I'd be sitting here now in a stupor. I'm quitting yeah but sitting alone in the early hours with my thoughts kind of makes alcohol a welcome friend.Honest enough for you?"

Vanessa smiled.

"I told you you should have woke me."

"Babes you need to sleep you have work."

"I text Paddy last night and took the day off, he's covering for me. Charity I'd rather be awake with you until you're back on track. My nerves are shot at the moment. I felt pure panic when I woke and your side of the bed was cold."

"Come here babes" Charity motioned to Vanessa to sit on her lap.

Vanessa moved towards Charity and sat down on her lap sideways. Charity put her arms around her waist and pulled her close burying her face under Vanessa's chin and her neck inhaling her scent deeply.

"Ness...I love you so much. I can't believe you actually want to be with me. You've stuck by me through so much shit and always encouraged me, supported me to be the best person I can be. I want to be with you forever and I know this is going to be hard starting off at square one in recovery again but I'll gladly do it for you, for us, for our family."

Vanessa wrapped her arms around Charity.

"I love you too..but you need to do this for you. When you're sober everything else falls into place, us, our home life but when you're acting out in your addiction that's when everything falls apart. You have to want this for you otherwise you'll start to resent me. The desire, the cravings will eat away and in your head you'll think I'm the one stopping you from doing what you want to do.
It really affects me too Charity. This morning when I woke and you weren't there I felt panic and so many thoughts racing in my head. Where is she? What is she doing? Is she drinking? I don't want to live like that. I don't want our children to think like that."

"It will always be there Ness....I realise that now. Before I know I came close to relapse but this was completely different it was so out of control so quickly."

"When did you first take a drink again?"

Charity sighed resting the side of her head against Vanessa's chest.

"The same day I met Kathleen. I didn't go to a meeting, I just wanted to be alone after what she told me. I don't know why but I started driving and found myself in Bradford at the house we used to squat in. It's so different now.

I called into a shop to buy smokes and saw the spirits behind the counter. I could feel it inside, growing, the anticipation, the good feelings at the thought of taking a drink and all I wanted was to feel good, to feel better and to drift away. You know when you come home from a day of call outs to farms and your body aches from the cold and your muscles are sore from wrestling cows or horses or whatever. You ease yourself into a hot bubble bath and it just feels so good like the shitty aches just melt away. It's a bit like that for my mind, the thought of the feeling alcohol brings and I want it to medicate myself. I'm not sure I'm explaining it very well." Charity half laughed.

"I like it when you can be open with me. I want to know what it's like for you"

"It's all about chemicals in my brain babe endorphins. They affect the reward centre of the brain. Alcohol produces endorphins and endorphins make you feel pleasure."

"Like sex?"

"Yeah sex releases endorphins too."

"Probably why your sex drive is so high." Vanessa chuckled.

"Probably....and that's why sex and recovery is covered in 1 to 1 sessions"

"What? You discussed our sex life with Nikki? I'm embarrassed"

"It's not like that babe...it's...well remember when you took sex off the menu the first time I admitted my drinking was out of control"

"Yeah"

"Well why did you do that?"

"I didn't want you using sex as an escape from addressing what was happening to you, to us"

"Yeah you somehow knew that sex gave me that escape"

"I want to understand so I can help you as best I can."

"It's difficult babe to understand. You remember when you were fighting cancer and I didn't really know how to help at times and didn't understand what you were going through it's the same. The only thing I need from you is to be there in the good days and the bad days, just be you."

"What about Ria and Kathleen? How are you feeling about that situation?"

Charity sat back in the chair her head tilted back "Oh god babe I don't know....I really don't know. To be honest I think I just want to forget they exist because then I don't have to feel anything."

Vanessa reached her arms around Charity and leant her body against her.

"Do you fancy releasing some endorphins upstairs with me?" She whispered seductively.

Charity nibbled at Vanessa's neck as she laughed flirtatiously "Ness you're so naughty"

"Yeah...and what you going to do about it" she answered biting on her bottom lip.

"Well I suppose I'll have to take you upstairs and punish you."

Tangled up in each other Charity had drifted off to sleep. She'd hardly slept the night before and had missed the intimacy, the feeling of being safe that Vanessa gives her.

Vanessa was happy to have Charity in her arms idly stoking her hair while she slept. She knew she needed sleep.

The peace was suddenly disrupted as Charity's body jerked and her eyes shot open, a look of panic and fear across her face.

"It's okay, I'm here" Vanessa soothed her and continued stroking her hair.

Charity exhaled loudly.

"A dream?" Vanessa asked.

"Yeah just a dream"

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not really"

"Okay, we should think about getting up. Nikki will be here in about an hour."

"Yeah, thanks for that reminder. I'm really not looking forward it."

"Charity she understands she's been there herself, there's no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed."

"Let's shower together babes, I don't want to be alone because I start thinking too much."

THE SURGERY

At the surgery Paddy was preparing to go out on his rounds, taking Vanessa's calls meant he would be out the whole day.

"I'll be out for the day Rhona. I don't have any available slots to see anyone else unless it's a dire emergency. I'm covering Vanessa's appointments as well as my own. I managed to reschedule some it's all in the diary"

"Where is Ness?"

"She's taken the day off"

"Is everything okay? I saw Chas taking the boys to school this morning"

"Yeah they stayed over with us last night"

"Paddy is Vanessa okay? It's not her health is it?" Rhona started to panic.

"She's fine they've just got stuff on"

"Paddy she's my best friend I'm worried now"

"Rhona I'm sure she'll tell you in her own time if she wants too"

"Paddy if Ness is unwell I need to know"

"Rhona just stop. She's taken the day off, Vanessa's health is fine"

"It's Charity then..oh no she's not drinking again. Please tell me she's not"

"Rhona just leave them to it, it's their business. They just need some space to deal with it but they're fine and don't you dare breathe a word to anyone"

Rhona decided she'd call Vanessa later when Paddy had gone. A friendly call to check she was okay, she wanted them to know she was there for them, both of them. Although she would probably never be best mates with Charity she had got to know her better the past few years and the more she got to know her the more surprised she was. Yes no doubt about it Charity was complex but under the tough exterior was a vulnerability and a beauty that Rhona had been priviledged to catch glimpses of. It had shocked her at first this side of Charity but the more she saw the more she understood how Charity had captured Vanessa's heart.

JACOBS FOLD

There was a knock at the door, Vanessa answered and beckoned Nikki in. Nikki gave her a hug and walked in to face Charity who was standing by the sofa nervously clasping and unclasping her hands her eyes down.

"Come on Charity you know better than that! Look at me"

Charity raised her eyes and looked at Nikki.

"You had a relapse it's not the end of the world. You're getting back on track." Nikki walked toward her and gave her a hug. "Any chance of a brew?"

Charity laughed nervously and went to make a cuppa.

"Er...I'll just be upstairs, let you two talk"

"Stay Ness...I want you to be here too, it affects you and it's part of us"

Vanessa sat down on the sofa, Nikki took the armchair as Charity carried in their tea and sat down next to Vanessa.

"Okay so what happened?" asked Nikki.

Charity took a deep breath and exhaled loudly.

"It was after I met with Kathleen my mum. Obviously the shock of finding out she was alive and then actually meeting her face to face was massive. But it was what she told me that freaked me and I couldn't tell anyone. I was so ashamed and despised myself."

Nikki nodded for her to go on, Vanessa reached out and gave her a comforting touch on her thigh.

"I have a sister, shes a year older. Long story but I met her when I was a kid and then again when I was 15. We were both on the streets, sex working. We found a squat and lived there with some other unfortunates.

She'd been an IV heroin user for a while, I was a drinker. One night a punter decided he was just gonna take what he wanted without paying if you get what I mean. Occupational hazard" she laughed bitterly "even called me a dirty whore after he raped and beat me"

Vanessa felt the anger rise in her at all those who had hurt Charity. She steeled herself so as not to show emotion and fought back the tears reaching out for Charitys hand and squeezing it.

" I managed to get back to the squat. I could barely see my face was so swollen and I'm certain I had a few broken ribs I couldn't breathe without pain.

I couldn't go to hospital, I was too scared they'd call police and it wasn't long after I'd escaped Bails. Ria looked after me, the vodka eased some pain but it wasn't enough.

One night Ria said she had the best pain killer and that I could just smoke it so I did. Made me throw up at first but oh my god the euphoria after that it was like nothing I'd experienced and everything I'd been looking for. The biggest comfort blanket and for a while nothing shitty existed and I was hooked from the first smoke. I wanted that feeling again and again.

Ria helped out but she had her own habit so I started scoring from her dealer but I got it on tab. I couldn't work until the swelling came down and the bruising could be covered by make up. The payback was double bubble so I was working to fund my habit and repay debt.

I didn't feel safe working on my own and some blokes..well...they liked two girls, they paid more so me and Ria worked together. When Kathleen told me she was my sister I couldn't handle it, I hate myself for it.

I can never tell her and I don't want to see Kathleen again, I can't go there with them. The thing I wanted so much in my life growing up was a sister, a mum and now I find out I have both but I can't tell my sister because of what happened and me mum I don't want her in my life after abandoning me. All the shit that happened wouldn't have if she'd put her kids first, if she'd have kept Ria and not abandoned me. Then I realise I'm just like her been putting myself before my kids for years. I feel such a failure and ashamed because of what happened.

Nikki smiled a smile full of empathy and nodded.

"Charity it's a different world when you're deep in addiction. I get it...I done stuff I wouldn't dream of doing now, stuff I had to come to terms with once I got clean. You didn't know she was your sister but to be honest when you're caught up in that lifestyle even if you did know it may not have made a difference because you're so desperate when your an active addict. That's what you need to understand..you are not the same person anymore."

"I know..back then I always thought the junkies who injected were the lowest. Ria was injecting and I hated it, I tried to get her to stop but she was too far gone. I carried on smoking it but one day I asked Ria to give me a hit because I needed it fast. The rush was amazing within seconds whereas smoking took longer for the effects to kick in. After that I'd regulary inject, my use increased and my debt. I had to get out of it so I called Cain. He sorted out the dealers and dealt with the debt and took me back to his. He locked me in his room and I did the most horrendous withdrawal. He cleaned up after me the shit, the vomit. I called him all the bastards under the sun doubled up with stomach cramps and cravings, he just sat in silence. I punched him, kicked him I was vile to him but he keep silent only physically defending himself when he needed to. After a week I was somewhat normal and he let me out the room, no one said a word about it.

I stayed a while but I couldn't face life there and people staring at the prostitute junkie. That's all I was in their eyes.

So I went back to Bradford, back to the squat. I was depressed and drinking heavy by then but stayed off the gear.

The depression got worse and on christmas day I woke up and I'd been robbed of the few shitty belongings I had. It was most likely Ria who robbed my stuff. I don't blame her she was desperate like me and if she needed it at that moment she'd always repay somehow. I ended up having to go out and do some punters on christmas day. One a clergyman another on his way to get his in laws for family dinner. I had no one. I decided then I was going to end it all.

When I got back to the squat with my vodka and enough pain killers to do the job Ria was there sitting on the mattress lining her works up. Spoon, lighter, belt, syringe, citric, alcohol swab. I thought about telling her what I planned to do but she was so caught up in her ritual. You know the anticipation of getting your high" Charity looked at Nikki who nodded in agreement.

"I asked her to do me a hit but she wouldn't, she told me to fuck off. I left her to it and went into the other room and cried, sat on some blankets and lined up my pills. I done it slow knowing fully the decision I'd made. I took them and went back in to Ria to lay down on the mattress we shared. She was out of it gouching after her hit and the next thing I know I wake up in hospital Cain and Chas were there. I never saw Ria again."

"That's tough stuff Charity. It's only you can decide where you go from here." said Nikki.

"I know...and I've decided. My life was going great, I was sober, we were happy, the kids were happy and then this happened. I want my life that I had pre Kathleens letter so I'm going to get back to my recovery, concentrate on me and my family here and forget about Kathleen and Ria."

"Can you do that? Knowing that they're out there and they're family?" Vanessa asked.

"Well me dads out there and I've lived long enough without him."

"True"

"So do you want to come in with me to the centre? I know many people will be so glad to see you." said Nikki.

"I guess now is as good a time as any. It's not going to get any easier."

"Come on then let's go."

Charity kissed Vanessa "thanks babe for being my rock, for loving me even with all my drama. I'll see you later"

"I wouldn't have you any other way" Vanessa leant in for another kiss.

IRELAND

The car pulled up at the drop off point at the airport. Ria and Gypsy got out, Gypsy went to the boot of the car and took out Ria's bag. They hugged and Ria waved to Solomon.

"I'll call you when I get to Leeds."

"Ma if you need us just call and we'll come"

"Thanks but I'll be fine. I'll be back in a week. Go on now before security move you on."

Ria watched as the car disappeared, she took a deep breath and entered the terminal her heart pounding as she tried to prepare herself mentally for meeting Charity after all these years and in the circumstances. She knew the last time she saw her Charity had lain down beside her on the old mattress and had been taking her last breaths but she had been gouching from her hit she hadn't been aware of anything until Chas had slapped her face a number of times while Cain carried Charity out to the car. She had never seen her since.

EMMERDALE

Vanessa decided to have a soak in the bath. Chas said she would pick the boys up from school which gave her some much needed time to herself. The past few weeks had been stressful and she was grateful of this time with her thoughts to take stock and relax. She knew Charity was safe with Nikki and relieved she had agreed to go with her to the afternoon group meeting at the centre.

Vanessa was making a brew to take up with her with her when she was disturbed by a knock on the door. She contemplated ignoring it but it may be Chas so she thought better and went to open it.

"Hey Ness how are you?"

"Rhona....I'm good. Aren't you working?"

"Took an early lunch. I saw Charity go out with her friend from Hotten so I thought I'd pop in and have a quick catch up...surgerys quiet"

"Oh...come in"

"I'm not disturbing you am I?"

"No no it's fine. I was about to have a soak in the bath but it can wait. Brew?"

"Oh yeah I'd love one"

Vanessa made Rhona a cuppa and sat down in the armchair.

"Missed you at work I didn't know you'd booked the day off"

"It was a last minute thing, Paddy said he'd cover my essential appointments and reshedule the rest"

"Is everything okay? You're not sick are you?"

"No I just needed today off to sort some stuff"

"Ness you would tell me if there was something wrong. I saw Chas taking the boys to school this morning and then when Paddy said you had taken the day off I was worried"

"I'm fine" Vanessa smiled.

"Is everything okay with Charity? I saw her with her friend from Hotten the one from the recovery group she goes to...she's not drinking again is she?"

"Nothing gets past you Rhona but honestly Charity is fine"

"I care about you Ness and I care about Charity. These past years I've seen a different side of her and I know she's good for you, she makes you happy. I want to be there to support you both"

"Thanks Rhona it means a lot but we're fine, Charity just had some news but she's dealing with it, we're dealing with it"

"It must have been a shock about her mum"

"Rhona! How do you know about that? Oh let me guess Paddy...I'll flaming kill him he can't hold his own pee"

"Ness we all work together it's obvious when somethings going on. I won't say anything but please you can talk to me. I'm here for you, if ever I'm going through stuff you always want to know so you can support me so let me support you."

"Thanks Rhona I know you're there for me you're my best friend. Yeah it has been difficult lately but we are getting support. Chas is brilliant and the guys at the centre. It's just that this is very private for Charity"

"I sometimes feel we're not as close anymore and I miss that"

"Rhona you'll always be my best friend" Vanessa laughed although deep inside she felt Rhona was adding to her pressure. She didn't want her friend to feel sidelined but Charity comes first and she certainly wasn't going to betray Charitys confidence. 'I could bloody wallop Paddy' she thought to herself.

Vanessa finished her brew and set her mug on the coffee table.

"Right well I'll get back to work" Rhona stood up and hugged Vanessa as she walked her to the door "love you Ness"

"Yeah love you too bye" Vanessa locked
the door after her and headed upstairs determined to have some peace and soak the stresses away in a hot bubble bath.

Chas had text her while she was in the bath and told her she'd pick the boys up from school and bring them home.

Vanessa smiled when she read the message and felt gratitude for the good people in their lives. She thought of what Charity had told Nikki and herself earlier on and shuddered at how cruel life had been to her fiancee. Vanessa couldn't bear to think of the hurt she had endured, the fear and the shame she felt. She quickly changed her train of thought not wanting to dwell on Charitys past too long.

Once she had pampered herself and relaxed Vanessa headed downstairs and decided to prepare chicken and chirozo bake for dinner later. She had just about finished the prep when Charity returned.

"Hello georgous you look happy" Vanessa said as Charity walked toward her.

"I am. I'm so glad I went back Ness, everyone was lovely really understanding and no judgement. It's such a relief being in a place where there's no jugement, everyone round here would give me looks and pity you for having to put up with me" Charity gave a little laugh "but there they congratulated me for owning up and getting back to my recovery"

Vanessa kissed her as Charity's light mood fluttered into Vanessa's heart making it swell with an overwhelming love.

"I've prepared chicken and chirozo bake for later"

"Oo my busy little bee" Charity caressed Vanessa's cheek before pulling her into her arms and squeezing her tight.

They broke apart as Vanessa turned to flick the switch on the kettle.

"Chas is picking the boys up and bringing them here. Brew?"

"yeah...did you have a nice relaxing time?"

"I did. Rhona popped in for a cuppa then I had a hot bath and came down to prepare food for tonight."

"Oh what did Rhona want?"

"Just concerned as I'd taken the day off and she'd seen Chas dropping the boys at school."

"What did you tell her?"

"Nothing but she saw you with Nikki put two and two together oh and Paddy let some things slip. I could throttle him. Rhona just wants to help, she's fond of you Charity...never thought I'd hear myself say that."

"Yeah well Paddy needs to learn to keep his big gob shut" Charity's demeanour changed "I don't want the whole village knowing"

"Charity Rhona's not going to say anything. We work together me, Rhona and Paddy it's hard to keep secrets that affect our work. When she learned I took the day off and Paddy and Chas had the boys last night she thought it was my health. She's very supportive of you Charity, don't be hard on her she is my best friend."

Charity made a noise that indicated she had resigned from this particular conversation and they sat down on the sofa.

"I was thinking about this morning when I was in the bath and the stuff you shared."

"Oh" Charity was intrigued.

"Yeah I was thinking why don't I know these things? We've been together so long and I'm only finding out now about your life"

"Not really babe. You knew I had Debs at 13, was sex working at 14 and the Bails stuff. I told you I done drugs."

"But there's so much more to it Charity...your experiences"

"Babes you know me the past is the past and I don't think about it much. It was what it was and it's not who I am now"

"I know but hearing about it in more detail made me realise I don't really know the pain you've suffered"

"Babes I don't want you to know it all it will only hurt you. I'm fine with it. Yeah it fucking hurt at the time and it has shaped me into the person I am today but to be honest when I met you that's when my healing started. It was your love that made me discover things in my own heart and helped me become a better person and that was without you even knowing!

You know....being with you I would go through all of that again to find at the end of it what we have. So many people try and find what we have but never do. I'm so thankful for my life because all of it brought me here to you"

Charity gazed adoringly at Vanessa before adding "think I'm a bit low on endorphins babe..." she said with a cheeky wink.

Vanessa laughed and put her mug down climbing on Charity's lap and straddling her.

"Guess I better top you up then"

"I could get addicted to this"

"Not funny Charity" she whispered as she nibbled on Charity's ear and then moving to her lips to silence her by giving her the most searing and passionate kiss that reduced Charity to moans beneath her.

Early evening they sat eating their chicken and chirozo bake together. Chas had brought the boys back earlier and they'd gone over to the park as a family the boys picking up on the lightened demeanour of their mums. All was safe and well again in their home and by the time they returned to Jacobs Fold they were more than ready for their food.

After dinner Charity and Vanessa sat with the boys watching their favourite paw patrol. Noah was still up at wishing well with Samson but would be home later.

"Come on boys bath time" said Vanessa.

Moses and Johnny both complained and pleaded for more time even though the tiredness was showing in their drooping eyes.

"No you've had a busy day and you're both tired. Quick bath and then mummys will read you a story"

This perked them up and without further complaining they headed upstairs together.

After their bath they hopped into bed demanding hugs and kisses before settling for their story. Charity and Vanessa couldn't help but share a giggle when both of them had fallen asleep before the story was even finished.

Stopping in the doorway to look at them sleeping they shared a moment of happiness then went back downstairs to clear up the dinner dishes.

"You want to watch a movie when we've cleared the kitchen?" asked Vanessa.

"Maybe, we'll see what's on"

They were interupted by a knock on the door.

"Noah must of forgot his key" Vanessa groaned as she went to answer it.

She opened the door and was met by a stranger who was vaguely familiar. A woman in her late forties, dark hair and distinct green eyes.

"Hi I'm looking for Charity Dingle"

Charity walked towards the door and froze.

"Ria" she breathed......

Chapter Text

Charity held onto the back of the sofa as the room seemed to spin around her. Her lips moved but no sound came out and she started to gasp for breath.
Vanessa moved toward her but was beaten to it by Ria who engulfed Charity in her arms and pulled her close "I'm sorry Charity....I'm so sorry for what I did and for what I didn't do that I should have"

Ria's body shook as she broke and let the years of pain that she thought she had dealt with come out.

Charity's arms that were now hanging limp at her sides slowly reached up and around Ria as she too released her pain.

Vanessa stood and watched unsure what to do and slightly awkward at this intimate moment between the two sisters. She too had tears in her eyes and had to swallow the sobs that threatened to burst out of her. She closed the front door which had been left open in the confusion and went into the kitchen to switch on the kettle. 'Why is it that we think a cup of tea sorts everything' she thought to herself.

She turned and looked at the two women still in a tight embrace of tears. Gosh they were younger than Noah when they last saw each other surviving as best they could in a very adult world. It made Vanessa's blood run cold thinking how vulnerable they had been and how they had been exploited and abused by others for their own gain and gratification. She quickly looked away from their private moment and took three mugs from the cupboard before going upstairs to check the boys. She wanted to give them space but also wanted to stay near in case Charity needed her.

Vanessa came back downstairs as Charity and Ria broke apart. Ria held Charity at arm's length taking a good look at her. Ria smiled as Charity stood in front of her head down wiping the tears from her cheeks.

Finally Ria spoke "she came to see me Charity ....I knew I had to come to you"

"She told you" Charity's statement was more of a question.

"She started telling me something but I cut her short and told her I knew who she was. I've known for some time but wanted to protect you from the truth."

"You knew?" asked Charity in disbelief "you knew and you didn't say anything..... How long?"

"Not long after you left Bradford"

"You knew all this time and said nothing?" Charity's anger swelled.

She turned away from Ria still reeling from the shock of seeing her and now at the fact that Ria had known for so long.

"Charity I wanted to tell you so many times. Wanted to contact you but I couldn't. I couldn't do that to you, I couldn't"

"Yes you could...you just chose not to"

"When Kathleen told you were you going to contact me?"

Charity was silent. She looked at Ria again taking in her features. The hardness was gone from her face, age showed but she had aged well, life must have been kind in the end thought Charity.

"I'll tell you everything now if you'll hear me out"

"This is too much" said Charity. She held her palm up to Ria and walked out to the kitchen and opened the cupbaord taking a pack of cigarettes and going out the back slamming the door shut.

Vanessa stood awkardly in the kitchen.

"You want a brew?" she asked Ria feeling slightly stupid at such a banal offering under the circumstances.

Ria stood silent as if gathering her thoughts before responding "I'm sorry I don't know your name...or who you are to Charity"

"Vanessa her fiancee"

Ria smiled her head angled slightly "I'm glad she's not alone and it's good but strange to meet you in the circumstances. I hope we get to meet again, I should go. Here's the place I'm staying if Charity wants to meet. I'll be staying a week." Ria handed Vanessa a business card from the B&B in Hotten.

"I could go talk to her now see if she'll come back in?"

"No love if I remember right she's best left to think about it and calm down then she'll talk if she wants to. Forcing her to talk will feed her anger. You'll let her know where I am."

"Okay...bye" Vanessa closed the door after Ria and walked back to the kitchen exhaling loudly. It was all too surreal.

Vanessa stood for a moment unsure of what to do or what she could say to Charity. She went outside, Charity was sitting on the bench. Vanessa stood in silence because she knew nothing she said in this moment would be right and she'd get the brunt of her anger.

After a while Charity spoke.

"Has she gone?"

"Yes"

Charity got up and went inside. She set about making a brew slamming things about in the kitchen. Vanessa walked on through to the lounge and sat down.

Charity threw the teaspoon on the counter "I don't even want a fucking brew"

Vanessa said nothing but let Charity vent.

She stood in the kitchen.

"Did you hear me? I said I don't want a fucking brew...do you know what I do want Vanessa?"

"Don't" was all she said firmly and standing to her feet walking to face Charity.

"Don't let this set you back"

"I've had it Ness...I've had it up the here" motioning with her hand above her head. "I can't take this"

"Charity I wish I could say something to make this better to make it easier. I wish I could take the hurt from you...but please don't try and escape from it drinking yourself into oblivion"

"I can't take it no more Ness. What makes people think they can appease their consciences and mess with my head?" Charity shouted.

"I don't think Ria intended that. She came becase she knew Kathleen had told you"

"Yeah and she feels fucking guilty because if it wasn't for Cain and Chas I'd of died right there beside her not to mention the other stuff" her voice growing louder.

"Charity please stop shouting you'll wake the boys and it's not fair to take your anger out on me neither"

"I've got to get out"

"Where are you going?"

"For a walk I can't stay here my head will explode. I need to get out. I need to be on my own"

"Charity" Vanessa shouted "just please don't do anything stupid"

"Don't shout Vanessa you'll wake the kids" she hissed.

Charity grabbed her coat and left.

Vanessa was left alone, tired and emotionally exhausted. She sat down in the armchair and cried. 'I don't know how much more I can take myself' she thought.
She wanted to be there for Charity, wanted to support her through whatever she may be going through but lately it was one thing after another and she was tired. Tired of the drama, tired of the stress, tired of being the one to hold their family together.
She didn't bother to call anyone this time. Charity will make her choice anyway and she was sick of running after her in fear that she would relapse. 'I have to let go' she thought 'I can't keep living in fear everytime she's upset it's draining me'.

Vanessa went upstairs and stood in the doorway of the boys room. She watched them sleeping peacefully no cares in their little worlds. She envied their innocence, she sighed and whispered "oh Charity..please make the right choice" and then felt guilty because she thought if she'd been through even half of what Charity had she's not sure she'd still be alive today. When things were good with Charity it was so bloody good but when things were bad it was a nightmare. Sometimes she could handle it better but with the recent constant onslaught she was finding it hard to cope. The thing was in these moments of drama Charity seemed to forget it affects her too and yet she's supposed to carry on looking after the kids, their home and working full time as well as looking after her.

Charity was sat on a swing in the park feeling she could at least breathe in the open air with no one around her. There was a chill in the air but at that moment she welcomed it. Feeling a chill stopped her feeling other things somehow.
She sighed deeply as she recalled Ria's face from their meeting earlier. It was strange to see her after all these years.

'I can't believe she knew' she thought to herself. 'She knew and said nothing...' but as she searched deep within she could understand why, she herself had decided she wouldn't contact Ria when she found out. Maybe she should hear what she has to say she really didn't feel any ill will towards her for Ria not realising Charity was slowly dying next to her. In fact at the time it happened that was exactly what Charity had wanted, she had intended to die she just didn't want to be alone when it happened so had lain down next to Ria. Thinking about it, it was pretty bad what she had done. The guilt that Ria would have felt if she had of died would have been unbearable for her but Charity hadn't thought of that at the time. 'Maybe I should be apologising to her' she thought.

Strangely she didn't feel shame when she saw Ria and Ria's response embracing when her anxiety took her breath made her feel safe like she had when they were young.

She sat for a while longer and then decided she should go home before Vanessa sent out a search party.

Vanessa was in the lounge with a pile of ironing, she chose to keep busy to keep her mind occupied. She was being very meticulous with each crease her brow furrowed in concentration.

The door opened and Charity walked in taking her coat off and hanging it up. Vanessa didn't look up.

"You want a brew?" She asked Vanessa.

"No thanks" came the short reply.

Vanessa carried on ironing. There was tension in the air.

"So where did you go?" Vanessa asked without looking up and adding more pressure than needed on the iron.

"The park, sat on a swing just wanted to be on my own"

"Well that's okay then isn't it. Charity's upset so she takes off and does as she pleases leaving me to worry, leaving me to look after the kids and everything else"

"Excuse me Vanessa you know full well the shit that's going on at the moment"

"Yeah and I've done my best to try and support you but you're just shutting me out and I'm picking up the pieces all the time."

"Shutting you out? I just wanted to be alone and get my head together. What? You thought I'd be holed up somewhere with a bottle of vodka...yeah well thanks for the trust"

"What do you expect? You implied that's what you wanted and look at the mess you got into recently and the year before that"

"Oh there we have it...why don't you just come out and say it Ness. It's all my fault, I'm the failure, I'm the fuck up and I'm just not quite good enough for you"

"Don't be ridiculous" vanessa shouted back.

The door opened and Noah walked in, he heard the shouting from outside and inside the air was thick with tension.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing me and your mum were just having a disagreement"

"I could hear you out on the street" he looked at Charity.

"Well go on say it 'what have you done now?' Because it's always me isn't it" she shouted at Noah.

"It's not always about you Charity" retorted Vanessa.

Noah turned and left again. Vanessa called after him "Noah wait..." but he was gone.

Vanessa pulled the plug on the iron.

"I'm going to bed" and she stomped up the stairs.

Charity stood in the kitchen anger raging through her. She was fed up not being trusted, always being asked, people checking up on her. As far as she was concerned she had done good not to drink today but no one seemed to care about that. Plus her whole life had been turned upside down and she just didn't know what to do about it.

Charity sat on the sofa and switched on the tv, she spent sometime idly flicking through the channels. She didn't want to watch anything but she thought a cooling off period would be good before she went up to join Vanessa.
Finally she switched off the tv, she'd had a text from Chas saying Noah was staying at the pub tonight.
She scoffed "yeah and I bet he told you I've pissed Ness off again" she muttered.

She eventually made her way upstairs and enterering the bedroom she was surprised to find the bed empty. She checked the boys room, Noahs room and the bathroom but no sign of Vanessa. Charity was annoyed she'd obviously gone to bed in Sarahs old room.

'Oh well if that's how she wants to play it she can stay there' she thought.

She went through her nightly routine and got into bed. As she lay there she missed Vanessa beside her and found it hard to sleep. After tossing and turning and an increasing feeling of guilt for her attitude she sat up. She contemplated going in to Vanessa but her pride stopped her unwilling to make the first move. She lay down again staring up at the ceiling in the dark.
Eventually she could take it no more and flung the duvet back swinging her legs around and sitting on the edge of the bed.

Vanessa lay facing the wall in Sarahs old bed, she couldn't sleep although she was exhausted.
She heard movement on the landing and strained her ears more to hear if it was the boys.
She heard the door open wider and felt the duvet lift as Charity squeezed in behind her. Vanessa lay still as Charity moulded her body into Vanessa's spooning her and draping her arm across her waist.

"Sorry" she whispered into Vanessa's ear.

Vanessa didn't respond.

Charity sighed and after a few moments withdrew her arm. Vanessa reached her arm behind her and searched for Charity's hand pulling her arm across her waist again.

Charity smirked.

"How about we go back into our bed babe...this ones a bit small"

Vanessa manouvered herself onto her back and looked up at Charity who was resting on her elbow partly leaning over Vanessa.

Vanessa nodded then her eyes brimmed with tears.

"Hey" said Charity softly "I'm sorry for acting like a complete prat"

Vanessa lay still as her bottom lip started to quiver.

"Babe what's wrong?"

"I'm so tired Charity"

A look of concern spread across Charitys face.

"It's probably just stress" continued Vanessa wiping her eyes.

"It's 2 months until your next check up....Are.... you worried..... it's...back?" asked Charity cautiously.

Vanessa didn't speak, Charity pulled her close and tucked her head under her chin.

Vanessa eventually answered "There's always that fear"

"Oh babe I'm so sorry I've been so wrapped up in my own shit I've neglected you. I should have seen you were not yourself"

"There's just been so much going on Charity. I've just kept going and going thinking it's just stress and it's not going away I'm so drained."

"Have you noticed any other possible symptoms?"

"I've dropped a bit of weight, not much and again it could be down to stress."

"We'll make an appointment with Manpreet tomorrow and see if we can get your check up brought forward. Come on let's go to our bed, if the rugrats wake they'll be looking for us."

Charity felt sick at the thought of anything sinister for Ness's health again. She didn't show it and vowed to herself to put Vanessa first before her own problems.

Laying in their own bed she held Vanessa in her arms, it was the best nights sleep Vanessa had in weeks. Charity lay awake for hours. She wondered to herself why life is so cruel, everything had been going great Vanessa was cancer free for over a year, she herself had been sober for a year, their family life was great and then suddenly the rug had been pulled from underneath them. First Kathleens letter, her relapse, Ria showing up and now this...silent tears escaped from the corners of her eyes as she lay staring at the ceiling with Ness in her arms....

The next morning Vanessa woke first still in Charity's arms, as she stirred Charity also woke.

"Hey morning babe" Charity said softly.

"Morning" Vanessa lifted her head and puckered her lips she was rewarded with a kiss and an offer of a brew.

"You slept great last night babes"

"I did I was out like a light, you didn't sleep good?"

"I slept some. I'll go make a brew"

Charity went down and made drinks, by the time she returned two cheeky faces were grinning either side of Vanessa.

"Oi you're not supposed to be awake yet!" Charity placed their mugs on the bedside table. She got back into bed Johnny cuddled into her while Moses inspected Vanessa's teeth and her ears.

"Moses what are you doing? Leave mummy Ness's mouth and ears" Charity looked at Vanessa as if to say 'strange child'.

Moses giggled.

"Maybe he's going to be a Dr or dentist, isn't that right Moz" Vanessa pulled him across her so both Moses and Johnny were in the middle of them. "You're always so curious about things aren't you? That's a good thing Moses always be learning"

"I'm going to be a vet like you" he sung falling into her arms as she peppered him with kisses.

"What about you Johnnybobs? " asked Charity "what you going to be when you grow up?"

"A balloon" he answered seriously.

"A balloon?" repeated Charity doing ever so well at hiding her giggles. Vanessa had to turn her face away as she struggled to hide her laughter. Moses openly and very obviously giggled.

"Why a balloon Johnny?" ask Charity intrigued.

"I can fly up in the sky"

"Wow that's brilliant. What a great imagination, very creative! You're going to be a star Johnnybobs" praised Charity.

"Not star a ballooooon"

"Oh sorry yeah..you're going to be a great balloon Johnny" she laughed and kissed him on the head.

"Come on then my little balloon and my little vet lets get you ready for school"

"I'm not balloon now only when I'm big"

Charity took the boys to get dressed, Vanessa got up also.

"Er what you doing babe I'll sort them out and take them to school you stay in bed"

"I've got to get ready for work"

"No babe you're not going in today"

"Charity I can't take anymore time off"

"Yes you can your health is more important and we need to see if we can get you in to see Manpreet."

"I'll just nip out of work for the appointment."

"Babe I'm serious"

"I feel better after sleeping last night"

Once the boys were dressed and eating their toast and banana Charity called Paddy.

"Yo Padster Ness won't be in today and no its not because I'm in need of looking after. We're making an appointment with Manpreet Ness needs a check up"

"Charity this is another random last minute day off. I can't keep covering and why isn't Vanessa calling herself?"

"Listen Pads if Ness needs time off she needs time off and actually its not a random day she needs the rest of the week off too. Before you start I'm aware you've let slip confidential information to Rhona about my drinking and Kathleens reappearance and I'm not happy about that but I'm willing to overlook it this time"

"Er..I..I..I...Rhona guessed..I...I...yes Ness can have the rest of the week no problem"

"Thanks Pads..sick days not holiday oh and you can continue to let Rhona think its me being a drunk rather than gossip about Ness. She doesn't need the fuss or the stress of people knowing. I knew you'd be considerate Pads...bye"

"Er..der..der..yeah..bye"

Charity ended the call rather pleased with herself as Vanessa came downstairs.

"I'll take the boys to school you can go back to bed babes"

"I told you I have to get ready for work"

"Nope you have the rest of the week off. I've spoken to Paddy"

"You what?"

"Its okay chill babe they're paid sick days not holidays. I only meant for today but then as I started telling him off for letting slip confidential information to Rhona about my relapse and Kathleens appearance I decided to push it for the week. Told him he can continue to let Rhona think its me your drunken fiancee that your babysitting."

"Charity" she gasped I can't do that.

"Yes you can babe it's all sorted, now go back to bed and call the surgery when it opens. I won't be long dropping the boys off."

Vanessa walked towards Charity and kissed her.

"Thank you and next time call him when I'm there so I can hear him flustered trying to explain himself"

Charity laughed "yeah it was rather good"

Vanessa went back to bed. She heard Charity leave with the boys, she lay there so glad for the rest. She loved when things were good with Charity, when she stepped up and took charge when Vanessa felt weak. Life with Charity could be such an emotional rollercoaster and she knew that she can also be at fault for not speaking up about her own needs instead of trying to battle through and take care of everything. Her mind wandered to Ria, she was concerned that Charity would now ignore the opportunity to meet with her and sort things.

Tiredness washed over her again and before she knew it she was woken gently by Charity.

"Babe" Charity said softly "did you call the surgery?"

"Oh no I must have fallen asleep I'll call now"

She called and was glad that Manpreet fitted her in for later in the day.

"There that's sorted I'll ask Tracey to pick up the boys from nursery"

"No need babes Chas is already booked to pick up Moz and the balloon. She'll give them their tea at the pub."

Vanessa laughed "where on earth did that come from? Johnny wanting to be a balloon when he grows up!"

Charity also laughed "no idea and I thought Moses was strange inspecting your teeth and ears this morning. I wasn't prepared for Johnnybob balloon!"

"You done very well keeping a serious face"

"Well I couldn't burst his big dreams and ambitions for the future." she laughed at her own pun as Vanessa slapped her playfully on the thigh.

"Kids they're so random at times"

"You hungry? I can make breakfast, what do you fancy?"

"Ooo bacon butty?"

"Coming up babes"

"you're too good to me"

"Sometimes babe" Charity gave an embarrassed half laugh "and other times I'm not good enough to you"

"Oi less of that"

Charity stroked Vanessa's hair from her face and kissed her.

"So what you going to do about Ria?"

"Nothing babe"

"She's only here for a week she gave me the number for the B&B she's staying in Hotten"

"Babe you're my priority, you're the most important thing in my life apart from the kids. I don't care about anything else, I have everyone and everything I need right here"

"But Charity.."

"Ah ah end of conversation babe"

Charity stood up and backed out of the door. A short time later Vanessa could smell the bacon wafting up the stairs.

Charity returned with two bacon butties and a mug of tea each which they devoured quickly.

"Mmmm bacon butties are the best"

"Yeah especially when they're made for you with love" Vanessa smiled.

"Babe why didn't you tell me sooner how you were feeling and your worries?"

"Charity you had so much you were dealing with and I just ignored it and tried to pretend I wasn't worried. I just don't want it to be THAT again you know"

"But you can't ignore stuff like that babe. And it may not be THAT but I can understand why you'd be scared. I've been so selfish, wrapped up in my own issues and that's affected you. Maybe it is stress and I hate that I'm the one who's put that on you"

"Charity it's not you, you had no control over Kathleen coming back or Ria being your sister. That is major life changing stuff and anyone in that situation would struggle to deal with it"

"But I started drinking again Ness even though I knew what we went through last time"

"It happens Charity, it's an illness, it's a coping mechanism stop beating yourself up and I do wish you'd reconsider calling Ria. For what it's worth I quite liked her the brief introduction we had. I think she really wants to make amends"

"Babe it's not happening, like I said before I have everyone and everything I need here."

Vanessa went quiet, Charity lay back and stared at the ceiling her brow furrowed betraying her internal pain. She turned to Vanessa and replaced the pained expression with a smile "sleep babes you need to rest" and kissed her on her forehead before getting off the bed to undress and climb in beside her again to hold her.....

Chapter Text

Vanessa lay curled into Charity sleeping again while Charity remained awake comforting her, holding her and occassionally rubbing her arm, back or stroking her hair.
It was difficult for her mind not to wander and worry. In a strange way she also felt relief, not with Vanessa's health concerns but relief that she felt as if she herself had stopped running. Ever since Kathleens letter had arrived she had been running and now that her mind was consumed with Ness the running had stopped and she was reminded of what is important in her life. The only thing she wanted to do now was to be there for Vanessa, right beside her.

She thought back to when Vanessa first had her diagnosis and the fear that was triggered in her. The fear of a life without her and she had admitted she didn't think she could even function without her.
When Ness went to her mums Charity had functioned in a fashion but the loneliness she had felt was so deep that the mere thought of it still causes an ache in her heart. She coped by anesthetising herself with vodka and unfortunately without realising had become dependant. Even then it was Vanessa who helped her recognise how out of control her drinking had become and supported her in getting help to achieve sobriety.

Her mind then wandered to when she was a child, one day her mum was there then gone with no warning, no goodbye, no I'll always love you..just gone like in a puff of smoke.
She remembered crying for her mum right after Obadiah told her harshly she was dead. She was too young to understand death so he explained it by simply saying she's gone you won't see her no more. Charity had wondered if it was because she had done something bad to make her go away.
She wanted her dad to hug her to make it better but he was different, she had tried to hug him her face wet with tears but he grabbed her by the front of her jumper and growled at her, he told her harshly that she was not allowed to cry and threw her aside telling her to leave him alone, so she learnt to cry silently, never to let others see. That night she had sneaked into their bedroom to her mothers wardrobe and chose a cardigan that smelt the most of her and took it into her room. The following days, weeks and months she would hold it close and close her eyes and imagine her mum was there. That's when she learnt to be secretive, she hid the cardigan under her mattress, eventually it stopped smelling like her mum but she still hugged it. Its also when she learnt to steal when she was hungry and there was no food. The school had noticed her dirty clothes and lack of hygiene which prompted a home visit from the school nurse. Not much changed except she was fed in school and given clean clothes. That was the extent of child welfare back then, there was no protection so the physical, mental and emotional abuse went unchallenged. She was starved of affection and desperate for it, it was little wonder she had fallen for Cains attention when she grew into a teenager. In fact there was no shortage of attention then.

Charity pushed the thoughts away and back in the archives of her mind and made a choice to file them under not to be opened again.

She gazed lovingly at Vanessa and sighed closing her eyes. Her Ness had been the one to see through all her masks that she wore, seen the real her and she hadn't been frightened by any of it but slowly and surely she had removed each mask until Charitys true vulnerability and beauty (so Ness would say) had been revealed to her. As she lay there thinking it dawned on her that so many times she had nearly thrown it all away through bad choices and behaviour but Ness had forgiven her. Charity pulled her even closer as Vanessa began to stir.

"Aw" Vanessa groaned "I fell asleep again".

"Ssh it's okay the rest will be doing you good, it's been a crazy few weeks......I'm so sorry Ness...I shouldn't have put you through that" Charity felt the guilt again.

"Hey stop that you" Vanessa poked her "stuff happens Charity and we're there for each other. Stop beating yourself up"

"You ready to get up babe?"

"Yeah I've slept too much" Vanessa's voice faltered "it's not really normal is it?" she looked at Charity for reasaurance.

"Stress can cause a lot of reactions babe. Let's wait and see what Manpreet says eh"

Neither of them were reassured but neither knew what to say it's something neither wanted to face.

They showered and went downstairs, Charity made a light lunch and they cuddled up on the sofa watching daytime tv. It was mostly useless drivel but it took their minds off things slightly.

Later that afternoon they got ready and went to the surgery both nervous they sat in the waiting room for Manpreet to call Vanessa.

Soon they heard Vanessa's name and made what seemed like a very long walk to the consulting room. Opening the door Charity ushered Vanessa in closing the door behind them.

"Hi Vanessa, Charity please take a seat. How can I help?"

"Erm I've noticed that I'm tired, sleeping a lot and I've not got much of an appetite, I've lost some weight and I just..sorry." Vanessa couldn't finish, her words stuck in her throat as she got upset. Charity reached out for her hand.

"It's okay Vanessa there could be many reasons for that but I'm guessing by your reaction that you're worried the cancer is back, am I right?"

Vanessa nodded.

"Vanessa it's not uncommon when people have been through a life threatening illness and chemotherapy to be fearful of a recurrence. It's a very traumatic experience in a persons life and just because the chemo ends and the treatment is successful doesn't mean emotions are healed also.
Are there any other symptoms other than tiredness and weight loss?"

"It's the tiredness mainly I just feel so drained and it's been getting worse as the days have gone on"

"Could it be stress related?" asked Charity.

"It's possible if you were under a great deal of stress. Has there been anything particulary stressful lately?" Manpreet enquired.

Vanessa looked down and shook her head "just a bit but it's fine now"

"Babe you don't have to cover for me this is not what this is about, this is about you and your health." Charity looked at Manpreet "I recently had some personal issues and I relapsed. It's been extremely stressful for Ness and I hate that I did this to her."

"And how are you now Charity?"

"I'm fine, I'm not drinking now, back working the twelve steps and back at the recovery centre. It's Ness I'm concerned about."

"Okay..can I just ask you to sit up on the bed please Vanessa"

"Yeah sure"

Vanessa took her shoes off and sat on the examination bed. Manpreet placed her hands either side of her neck and felt around with her fingertips.

"Mm there's some swelling in your lymph nodes"

"What..what does that mean it's spread?" Vanessa panicked.

"It means there's some swelling in your lymph nodes. Try not to jump to conclusions, there's many other reasons for swollen lymph nodes. We'll do some bloods today and once the results are back we'll go from there."

"So it's not stress related?" asked Vanessa.

"Stress can be a contributing factor to tiredness or loss of appetite but not the swollen lymph nodes"

"So there is something wrong?"

"Vanessa we will take bloods today the results will be a couple of days and we will go from there. Try not to worry or jump to conclusions because until the results are back we really don't know what exactly it is we are dealing with."

Vanessa nodded.

"Can you lay down for me please"

Vanessa complied and Manpreet continued her examination. There was no other areas of concern so Manpreet signified that she had completed her examination.
Vanessa got down off the bed and put on her shoes.
Manpreet gave her a bloods form to take into the phlebotomist.

"As soon as the results are in we'll contact you"

"Thanks"

"Yeah thanks" added Charity.

They left the surgery no more reassured and resigned themselves to the waiting game.

Charity put her arm around Vanessa as they left the surgery and pulled her tight.

"We've got this babes, it's like Manpreet says there's loads of things it could be. I know that doesn't reassure you much because you've been through it the cancer, the chemo and that fear must be so strong but try and keep an open mind yeah"

Vanessa forced a smile.

They made their way to the Woolpack deciding to eat there with the kids.

"Hey how's it going?" Chas greeted them.

"Okay...thanks for having the boys, we're going to eat here with them" said Vanessa.

Vanessa went on through to the back room to the delight of Moses and Johnny who were wrestling Bear, hanging off his arms either side but they thought they were wrestling him.

"You okay love" Chas asked Charity who had stayed in the bar.

"Not really but I've got to keep a brave face on"

"Vanessa looks tired and down bless her. How did it go with Manpreet?"

"She's had bloods done we should get the results in a few days. Could be a number of things so no point in guessing. Ness has got it in her head it's the cancer back.
 I can't do it Chas, I can't see her go through that again"

"Just wait and see what the tests show. You have to be the strong one Charity"

"I don't feel strong" she exhaled slowly and composed herself.

"Have you been going to your meetings?"

"Not since I went with Nikki, she knows whats going on with Ness. I do need to go tomorrow but I don't want to leave Ness on her own. She's says she'll be fine and she probably will she'll just sleep but I don't want her on her own worrying."

"I'll pop in and see her just check she's okay"

"Thanks Chas you've done so much already"

Chas smiled then turned serious "and no more frightening my Paddy you"

"I was very nice to him actually considering he'd been blabbing to Rhona my personal issues"

"Hmmm go on go and sort your family out in there"

"We'll eat in the back so we're not disturbed"

HOTTEN

Ria lay on the bed mindlessly flicking through the tv.
She felt empty inside, she hadn't realised how hard this would be. Seeing Charity again had woken something in her, the desire to have family. She had her kids but she'd love to have siblings, a sister to share things with, to laugh with, cry with and talk about their kids. She'd never admit to anyone just how lonely the years had been and especially after their daddy Paddy had died. He was the only other close adult company she had. She had friends but not close friends she had thrown her life into raising the kids and she held onto that. Each one of them were a credit to her. The boys were a bit daft once they got a drink in them which usually ended up in a punch up then hugs and slaps on the back. What could she expect their father had taught them to fight like him. Sadly it was the fighting that ended his life, he took a punch one night and never regained conciousness. The farm, the land, the business was bought for by his blood and sweat a big gambling man in bare knuckle fighting. He made sure Ria and the children were looked after even though he had another family a few hours drive away.
She knew people talked but over the years they'd been accepted in the community, she wasn't naive, she was more than aware of what folks said though none would voice it loud enough.
She remembered the day she discovered her true parentage and that Charity was her sister, she'd cried for a long time. Paddy was the one who got her through it and loved her without judgement. Not that he had any right to judge her he himself was a paying punter at one time.

No, she wasn't surprised at all at Charitys reaction, if Charity didn't want to know her then she would live with it. She looked down at the small gold locket she was holding in her palm and closed her fingers around it. Who knew such a small object could carry with it so much shame.

Ria realised she was crying and quickly chided herself, sat up straight and wiped the tears.

"Silly old fool" she whispered to herself.

The next day Charity woke and went down to start breakfasts before going to wake Moses and Johnny getting them ready for school.
As they sat at the table Noah came down, he knew there was something going on. He thought his mum and Ness were still not on proper speaking terms after their argument, Ness just hadn't been herself.

"Where's Vanessa?" he asked.

"Still in bed sleeping"

"Avoiding you more like it" he bit back.

Charity was hurt but didn't show it, she could take it, she didn't want to worry him. They had decided to say nothing until the blood results were back.

"Why do you always muck things up. She doesn't deserve you"

"I know" she sighed.

Noah was confused he'd expected some sort of fight from her but she seemed unusually quiet. He scoffed and walked away grabbing his school bag.

'Fuck them he thought, if they're going to act like kids not talking then what's it to him' he hated the atmosphere and decided he'd go up to wishing well again after school.

Charity dropped the boys off and walked back to Jacobs Fold. Vanessa was up when she got back.

"Hey babes I was going to come back and make you breakfast" she kissed Vanessa who was standing in the kitchen with her freshly made brew.

"Babe I'm going into Hotten I really need to go to group."

"Yeah sure I told you I'll be fine here."

"Chas said she'd drop in to see how you are"

"I should be okay. I'm not going back to bed"

"I'll bring the duvet down from the Sarah's bed so you can get nice and comfy."

Charity went upstairs to fetch the duvet and once she had made sure Vanessa was comfy she went to get herself ready.

"Do you want some toast before I go?"

"No I'm not hungry"

"You must eat something babe"

"Yeah I'll get something later. I can sort something myself I'm not a complete invalid Charity" Vanessa's tone was irritable.

"Yeah I know babe I just want to look after you"

"I know...sorry" Vanessa half heartedly puckered her lips for a kiss which was given.

"Right see you later, I love you"

"Love you too"

Charity left locking the door behind her and got in her car for the drive to Hotten.

Vanessa was resting on the sofa when she heard the door she thought it was Chas so she went to open it. She was deflated when she saw it was Tracey she just didn't have the energy to deal with her and her questions.

"Vee what's up with you? I've hardly seen you lately and I was worried and now I come here at 10 o clock and you're not dressed!"

"Tracey leave it I'm just not feeling 100%"

"Well what is it? You not well or are you just exhausted with Charity?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"Oh come on Vee she's back on the booze I'm not stupid people talk "

"Whose been saying that?"

"Never mind who said it why didn't you tell me? I'm your sister, you shouldn't be dealing with Charitys shit on your own. Look at the state of you!"

"Tracey please just go and stop listening to gossip. I can't deal with this right now"

"Look I'm sorry Vee I worry about you. I'm here for you. I know it can't be easy, you both have been so happy and I hate that she spoils it by drinking again for goodness know what reason instead of dealing with life like a normal person"

"Tracey we're fine, Charitys fine, I've just got some sort of bug. You're blowing things out of proportion. Stop worrying and stop listening to others who make up half a story because they don't have all the info"

"You want a brew?" Tracey asked.

"No to be honest I just want to rest. I'll call you tomorrow see how I feel"

"Okay you sure?"

"Yeah bye Trace"

Tracey gave her a hug before leaving her to rest. She was annoyed at Charity, Vanessa looked awful she'd give Charity a piece of her mind when she see's her.

HOTTEN

As she drove through the streets the name of a B&B jumped out at her. Charity did a double take it was the B&B Ria was staying at. How come she drove this road many times and hadn't paid attention to it yet today it stood out like a beacon to her.
She checked the rearview mirror as she passed wondering if Ria was inside. Something drew her so she pulled over to the side of the road and kept looking in the rearview.
She sat for what seemed like a long time but probably wasn't.
Suddenly she snapped out of her reverie and back to reality indicating and moving back into the traffic towards the centre.

 JACOBS FOLD

Chas called in as promised. Vanessa was thankful for her company, she didn't talk much. Chas had said it was nice for her to come over and have a rest herself. After making them a brew she'd settled herself in the chair  resting her head back closing her eyes. She even said to Vanesaa not to be offended that she didn't chat as she wanted time out to do nothing. Vanessa knew it was more for her benefit really but she was glad Chas was subtle.

Charity returned from Hotten looking more relaxed. She'd enjoyed group and had taken strength from the encouragement of others. Driving home she had passed the B&B again, it would have been easy to stop and see Ria, something in Charity wanted to but Ness was at the forefront of her mind and she wanted to be home for her.
'Maybe things happen for a reason and some things belong in the past' thought Charity as she had glanced in the rearview mirror before looking ahead again to get home to her Ness.

As she arrived home she discovered Vanessa had made a stew for tea. Charity was cross about it because she was supposed to be resting but she just brushed her scolding off reminded Charity again that she not a complete invalid and was capable of cooking a stew. Vanessa felt she had rested enough and although she was tired she was also a bit bored.

"I'll go pick the boys up babe you want to come?"

"I'm not dressed properly, getting ready and walking there I just don't feel up to it"

"That's okay thought I'd ask seeing as you're not a complete invalid" Charity smirked.

Vanessa groaned as Charity kissed her.

"Won't be long" she quipped.

As she walked towards the school she heard someone shout

"Oi Charity I want a word with you"

She turned to see Tracey with a face like thunder.

"My sister looks wrecked Charity you should be ashamed of yourself"

"What?"

"You heard..she worries sick about you, covers for you I don't why she puts up with it. You just can't stop yourself running for the booze when life gets a bit hard. She deserves better than that. She's worn out and yet she still covers for you. You need to get a grip. I'm on to you and I'll be watching closely" said Tracey pointing her finger at Charity.

"Okay Trace you've said your piece" Charity turned away and kept walking.

"Is that all you've got to say?" she shrieked.

"What do you want me to say Trace?"

"It's what I want you to do that's more important and that's have more respect for my sister. Treat her in the way she deserves to be treated not making her ill with worry cause you can't look after yourself"

Charity continued walking to the school. She hurt inside at Tracey's accussations but took it on the chin.
'Yeah and I can guess whose been telling you that' she thought 'Rhona the bloody moaner acting the concerned friend for Ness.' She couldn't blame Rhona really with the limited information she knew but it still hurt Charity that people were so quick to judge her. It had always been the way living in their glass houses throwing their stones in her direction. She just held her head up and kept walking. To others she appeared brazen, bold as brass, shameless but the truth was she felt every stone they threw she just internalized it and carried her pain, her shame in secret.

When she returned to Jacobs Fold with the boys Vanessa sensed something was wrong. She greeted the boys and they excitedly told them about their day at school. Once they were settled and busy playing with their toys she turned her attention to Charity.

"Hey you okay?" Vanessa asked gently.

"Yeah I saw Tracey on my way to the school had a mouthful from her about me not being good enough and running for the booze when life gets a bit hard." Charity said staring at the floor.

Vanessa groaned "sorry she was here today saying she was worried about me and how awful I looked. I didn't have the energy to deal with her. She said something about your drinking but I didn't tell her anything I said we were fine. Told her not to listen to gossip"

"Yeah well we know were it came from. Bloody Rhona,
probably gave her the nod concerned about you running yourself ragged because of your drunken lush of a fiancee"

"Charity I'm so sorry. I'll go over and see her and tell her what's going on"

"No babe don't bother. It's done now, no point in worrying her"

"Charity it's not fair people thinking it's you when you're actually my rock right now. You know..even if you relapsed they don't know the reason and you know what not one of them could carry what you have carried. You're so strong and they just csn't see it they don't want to see it. It's so unfair"

"Doesn't matter they always think the worst of me anyway. I had Noah at it this morning saying you were still in bed because you were avoiding me"

Vanessa sighed.

"It's okay babe I've had worse" she smiled but Vanessa saw the sadness behind it.

That night as they cuddled up in bed Charity told Vanessa she had passed the B&B Ria was staying at.

"Did you think about calling in?" asked Vanessa.

"For a moment yeah I did"

"So why didn't you?"

"I wanted to come home to you. Maybe it's just not meant to be, maybe things just belong in the past and there's no sense dragging it into the present"

"We could take a drive in Hotten tomorrow if you want?"

"Hm let's see babe, love you, night"

Vanessa smiled at least it wasn't a flat out no. She knew Ria was still on Charity's mind and she wanted to encourage her in healing the past hurts before Ria went back to Ireland and the moment was lost.

"Love you too, night" and she lifted her head to kiss Charity before turning over and Charity followed cuddling in to spoon her with a protective arm across her waist.

Morning came and light peeped through the curtains. Charity rose going down to prepare breakfasts and bring Ness a brew in bed.

"Morning babes" kissing her softly.

"Mmmm morning" came the groggy reply.

"I'll sort the boys out you have longer in bed babes"

"No I'll get up and help, maybe walk with you I'm feeling a bit better this morning"

"No babes you rest...I don't want you to do too much and....if we're going to Hotten later..you might be too tired"

"Oh I wasn't sure we were going but yeah that's great"

Vanessa lay back and smiled happy that Charity had decided to visit Ria. She'd obviously thought a lot about it.

Johnny and Moses came in for hugs and kisses from mummy Ness and went of to school with Charity. Noah hadn't much to say to Charity that morning except see you later and even that was delivered with a frown.

She returned from the school run to find Vanessa downstairs making them bacon butties.

"Hey I can do that you sit down"

"It's okay they're ready now"

They sat on the sofa, the tv was on but neither watched it.

"So anyone throwing stones this morning?"

"No thankfully I managed to dodge them today" Charity laughed.

"I hate that you take all the flak and I also love that you do that for me"

"Well babe people can think what they like we've got each other and that's what matters"

"So often I wish people saw the real you, you're amazing Charity, flawed but perfect"

"You can't be flawed but perfect!"

"I love everything about you babe, except the smoking"

"Yeah well you might have noticed I'm not really smoking much now"

"I have noticed but didn't want to go on about it. I know you'll do it in your own time"

"Shall we do lunch in Hotten?"

"Yeah that will be nice...lunch with Ria?"

"We'll see babe" Charity smiled and Vanessa returned it.

They were jolted out of the moment by Vanessa's phone ringing.

"It's the surgery" she gasped.

"Hello..
Today?
Yes what time?
Okay...
Thanks...
Bye..

"What did they say babe?"

"My blood results are back. Er that was the receptionist, Manpreet has asked for me to go in today at 1 to see her"

"Okay well at least it's today babe. We go, find out and deal with whatever it is" Charity pulled her close.

"What about Hotten?" Vanessa asked.

"What about it?"

"You go and meet Ria I'll be fine going to the surgery"

"No chance babe I'm not letting you go through that alone. No you're the priority in my life. We go together."

Vanessa nestled closer again to Charity so close she could hear the thud of Charity's heart. Today their lives could be turned upside down there was no certainty except their love for each other which thankfully is strong enough to carry them through anything.

Chapter Text

Vanessa was quiet, Charity sat next to her holding her hand, supporting her, letting her know she won't let go. Every so often Charity would give a little squeeze to bring her wandering mind back into the room. Vanessa would give a little smile in return that made Charity's heart ache as she could see the worry and the fear in her eyes.

Suddenly they heard Vanessa's name over the tanoy. She looked so vulnerable, so lost and small, Charity stood not letting go of her hand.

"Come on babes" she whispered.

Vanessa nodded and allowed Charity to lead her.

They entered the consulting room and sat down Charity still holding Vanessa's hand.

Manpreet smiled "we've had your results back and it seems you've picked up a parasite"

"A wh..what?" Vanessa was in shock, she had readied herself to hear something far more sinister and wanted Manpreet to repeat it again.

"You have toxoplasmosis, it's caused by a parasite called toxoplasma gondii"

Charity was overcome with relief and joy "can it be easily treated?"

"Oh yes but due to your weakened immune system you're experiencing symptoms. Most people won't experience symptoms and get over it without treatment."

"I know it" said Vanessa "you can get it from pregnant ewes, sometimes it can be present in the afterbirth"

"You can also get it from undercooked meat or vegetables that haven't been washed thoroughly" said Manpreet.

"No chance" said Charity "I'm so particular since Vanessa's first diagnosis and the chemo,  I'm a bit over cautious to be honest"

"Yeah she is" agreed Vanessa.

"The other main route of transmission is.."

"Cat faeces" interrupted Vanessa

"What? Cat shit! " shrieked Charity.

"Well that's another name to use for it. Normally you may not experience symptoms but with a weakend immune system after chemo the body struggles to fight it. The good news is once you've had it you're immune for life as your body produces antibodies. The bloodtest can't show when you picked it up only if the infection is active and given your other presenting symptoms I'm confident with the diagnosis. I'll prescribe you pyrimethamine and sulfadiazine.
If you still want to bring your check up with the specialist forward we can do that for you but I'd say you're doing great Vanessa"

Vanessa cried with joy.

"So how would she have picked it up this parasite?"

"Possibly work surfaces in the surgery. Coming into direct contact with cat faeces, touching surfaces or items that have been in contact with cat faeces from an infected cat. Possibly their paws if they've been covering their faeces and stepping in it. The parasite is ingested unknowingly.
It could have been undercooked meat or from contaminated vegetables we just can't be certain."

"But her job increases the risk of catching stuff like this?"

"Charity" Vanessa knew where Charity was going with her questioning and wanted to stop her before she strayed into panic mode at the risks of Vanessa's role as a vet.

Manpreet finished writing her prescription.

"There, with this course of medication you should notice an improvement"

"Thank you so much"

"Yeah thank you, do I need to worry or the kids?" asked Charity.

"No you can't catch it from a person and if it was from contaminated meat, veg and the household picked it up it's likely you wouldn't know. The only time you are likely to see symptoms is in weakened immune systems"

"Okay so we don't need to be checked"

"No and Vanessa's occupation puts her at higher risk due to likelyhood of increased exposure to the parasite."

"Right, thanks"

"My pleasure"

Both of them practically skipped out of the surgery.

Outside Charity picked Vanessa up and spun her around kissing her as she placed her feet back on the ground.

"Oh babe I'm so happy so relieved!" Charity sung.

"I know! Let's get this prescription and get home I just want to laugh and cry but I'm still so bloody tired"

"Oh babe"

They collected her prescription and made their way home.

Sitting with a brew big smiles on their faces they were discussing recent events.

"Babe we need to speak to Noah. He needs to know what's been going on, he thinks we're not on proper speaking terms. I need to tell him everything, Kathleen, my relapse and Ria."

"Are you sure?"

"He deserves the truth even though he's going to hate me for drinking again, I just hope I can be honest and that he'll give me another chance."

"We can tell him tonight if you like, order celebratory pizza and have a family conference"

"Yeah I'll text him to come straight home. He's been going to wishing well after school avoiding us I think"

"Aw poor Noah I hope he understands"

"You look tired babe"

"I am I think I'll have a nap. Are you going into Hotten?"

"No too late to go now. Maybe tomorrow. I'll get the duvet and cuddle up with you here. I'm so relieved babe, I couldn't bear thinking about  the possible diagnosis."

"I know I was convinced it was the cancer back. I'm so relieved myself. I couldn't go through that battle again"

"So much has happened this past month. I'm just glad you're okay, well, I know you're still unwell but at least we know what it is and it's treatable. I'm concerned about your work though, I mean you wouldn't have got this if you weren't working with animals."

"Charity there's risks in every job. I know what you're saying and I get it you worry but I love my work and it's just one of those things. It could have been contaminated meat or veg we just don't know."

"No babe I'm so careful I know it's from your work. Who's cleaning the surgery?"

"Obviously we would wipe down and disinfect the tables between consultations and when the animals are waiting or recovering from surgery whoever's patient it is would take care of it."

"I'm not happy about that babe it puts you at more risk with your weakend immune system."

"I know, I'm going to have to talk to Paddy and Rhona about it. Just leave it with me, please don't say anything Charity I'll deal with it."

"Got to be honest babe it's going to be hard to keep my mouth shut on this one."

"Anyway scooch over I'm going to lay down."

Vanessa lay with her head on Charitys lap with the duvet covering her. Charity switched on the tv and idly stroked Ness's hair.
She text Noah to come straight home as they were ordering pizza and wanted to talk to him but reassured him everything was okay.

With Vanessa quietly sleeping Charity's thoughts returned again to Ria, she wondered how she was spending her time in Hotten and was grateful that she had given her space waiting for Charity to call if she chose to. She did have reservations about meeting her again but there was so much she wanted to know.

She quickly text Chas to let her know everything was fine with Vanessa and that it was a parasite and she can be easily treated.
Chas sent a smiling emoji and said so happy for you both with another emoji blowing a kiss. Charity smiled.

Noah arrived straight home from school, he walked through the door and threw his bag down. By this time Vanessa was awake sitting up on the sofa, Charity was at the opposite end looking nervous.

"Hi babe you had a good day?"

"What's up? You don't normally ask."

"Just wanted to know if you had a good day that's all."

"Noah we're going to order some pizza shortly" said Vanessa but he sensed an awkwardness in the air.

"Where's Johnny and Moses?"

"Tracey's got them your mum will pick them up  but we just wanted to talk to you first."

"You're splitting up aren't you" he cried "why do you always have to ruin things" aiming his comment at Charity.

"What babe no! We're not splitting up. Sit down Noah there's stuff that's been going on and I know you've picked up on it but you've got it wrong."

Noah sat down in the armchair waiting for an explanation.

Charity looked at Vanessa for support, Vanessa reached out and took her hand and nodded to her.

"Babe" she said slowly not really knowing where to begin  "about a month ago I got a letter and it was from my mum"

"I thought she was dead"

"So did I. Me dad told me it was cancer but when I went to see him after the Bails trial he told me it was suicide, she'd left a note and he didn't want anyone to know because it was considered a sin to commit suicide. Anyhow he took me to the beach everyday one summer. I thought it was him taking interest in me but he told me that he was looking for her body, she was never found.
Turns out she done a runner to Spain. Long story short she contacted me and I met up with her.
She told me some stuff and I couldn't handle it and I relapsed. I started drinking again secretly trying to cope with stuff. Anyway Ness found out and finally I told her everything."

Vanessa squeezed her hand in encouragement.

"I'm back at the recovery centre and back with the program and I'm not drinking now."

"Why mum? Why didn't you just tell Ness straight away instead of drinking again? That arguing that was because of your drinking?"

"I'd already stopped by then but Ness was worried because my mum...(Charity took a deep breath)...she told me I have a sister and she visited here earlier on that evening out of the blue. I couldn't take it and went out and sat in the park on my own to try and sort my head out. When I got back that's when we had that row you walked in on."

"Why did you have to do that? Vanessa was so upset. You always think of yourself."

"Babe I know I'm sorry, it's complicated. I knew my sister years back but thought she was my cousin. We were on the streets together. I don't want to go in to too much it's in the past."

"It's always complicated with you" he shouted.

"Noah" Vanessa interrupted "your mum has had a really difficult month she's had to deal with so much. Please try and understand. I'm sorry we couldn't say anything sooner but it was difficult to know how to handle everything that was going on. Your mum was going through so much and I needed to support her through it until she was ready to open up to me."

Charity continued "What I didn't know was that Ness had been feeling unwell and was frightened the cancer was back."

"That night I opened up to your mum and told her what symptoms I'd been experiencing"

"Is it the cancer?" There was panic in his voice.

"No thankfully. We went to see Manpreet and I had tests done. It turns out it's a parasite I've picked up probably through my work. I was scared though and your mum too, she's been brilliant, my rock, I don't how I'd of coped without her."

"So how come you got this parasite?"

"Eating cat shit babe"

"What! Ew gross"

"Charity do you have to?" Vanessa's tone was annoyed.

Charity laughed and pulled a face when Ness wasn't looking at her.

"Babe I'm really sorry I messed up and I want to promise you it won't happen again but I can't promise that it would be unfair."

"Noah relapse is a part of recovery and learning how to deal with stuff in a new way rather than old ways of coping. Your mum is learning all the time about her illness. You remember the family group we went to and they spoke about relapse why it happens and ways of dealing with it."

"Yeah....but I didn't think it would happen. Everythings been great or least I thought it was. Why didn't you tell me about your mum? Especially going to meet her."

"Babe there's so many reasons but I just didn't really know how to deal with it myself. I thought she was dead all these years and suddenly she turns up. Not only that but the shock of having a sister who I thought was my cousin, it was just too much...I just couldn't handle it."

 So where is she now? Can I meet her?"

"I don't know babe but my sister is here, she's staying in Hotten but I need to meet her first. I'm ready to meet her so I'm going to call her tomorrow. I'll see how things go and then maybe you can meet her...I don't know. Nothing's certain at the moment.
Babe I'm so sorry for letting you down again..I don't even know how I let it happen again but I'm working through it, we're working through it" she looked at Vanessa and smiled. Vanessa returned the smile and gave her hand a squeeze.

"Noah? Is there anything you want to ask? I know that's a lot of information to take in" Vanessa said softly.

"What's her name? Your sister"

"Ria"

"Ria?"

"Esther Maria Dingle"

"So I've got a Nan and an auntie. Have I got cousins?"

Charity laughed nervously not expecting his response "I think so, we think Ria has a daughter but we don't know all the details yet. They live in Ireland. No one else know's at the moment so please don't say anything yet to the rest of the family. We're trusting you with this Noah because we know stuff has affected you because you pick up on tension in the house."

He nodded "I'm angry you were drinking again but if you've stopped that's good but how can I trust you won't do it again?"

"I can't even promise myself that babe and I hate that. I hate that it's something that will always be there but I can learn from it and hopefully never get into that situation again"

Noah nodded "let's order pizza...but me and mum will choose cos we don't like your toppings Ness.'

"Yeah especially cat shit"

"Oh Charity grow up" moaned Vanessa.

"Just teasing babe...sorry" she puckered her lips and leant in to Ness who met them with hers and a warning look as Charity grinned at her.

"Noah you ring I'll get my card" smiled Vanessa.

"I'll go get the rugrats from Traceys"

Charity put on her coat and headed for the door.

"Mum" Noah called and Charity turned "thanks...for being honest about it"

Charity smiled and left.

That night as they lay in bed Charity held Vanessa close as she tucked her her head under Charity's chin.

"Noah took it better than expected"

"Which part?"

Charity gave a little laugh "all of it babe, I thought he'd be really pissed off with me."

"There was so much information for him I think that took a lot of focus off your relapse"

"Yeah. I'm not ready to do the whole here's your nan thing with Noah and Kathleen. I still don't want her in our lives."

"Well, you're going to have to consider Noah's feelings too. Talk to him more about it.
You didn't want to see Ria at first but now that's changed and you might change your feelings towards Kathleen"

"I doubt it babe. Kathleen chose to walk out and abandon me, she chose to give Ria away and let us all think she was dead while living it up in Spain...I mean I've done some shitty things and failed my kids but I'd never do that to them although I might have done them a favour if I had!"

"Don't say that Charity...you've got things wrong at times who hasn't. You love your kids and they love you. You may not have done things right in the past but you'd always go to war for every one of them"

"I'm nervous about meeting Ria"

"Well she seemed genuine when she called here...you know...I think she really wants to make amends I mean why else would she come...Kathleen too. Charity you know the 12 steps its an essential part in your recovery. Remember steps 8 and 9? Making amends"

"Ooo listen to you and your knowledge of the steps. Babe that relates to me making a list of all those I've harmed and be willing to make amends. For me to make direct amends with people unless doing so would cause injury or harm" Charity looked pleased with herself.

Vanessa continued "It also means forgiving others. If you hold onto unforgiveness bitterness will always hold a place in your heart and I'm sure what happened with you and Ria really affected her too when she found out the truth. You're not that scrappy teenager anymore and neither is she. She has a daughter and seems to have a good relationship with her"

"What you can tell that from the photos on facebook?" Charity laughed.

"They're not estranged that says something!"

"Little miss sunshine.... come 'ere" Charity pulled her closer wrapping both her arms around her and closing in for a kiss...don't suppose them tablets have cured you yet?"

"I've only taken 2 doses! Sorry I just don't have the energy" Vanessa scrunched up her face apologetically.

"Yeah...it was worth a try though"

"Chancer" laughed Vanessa.

Charity reached over and turned off the lamp.

"Night babes"

"Night"

Vanessa turned over and Charity spooned her draping her arm over her waist schooching in close, breathing in Vanessa's scent as she drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Next morning Charity woke and got the boys up and ready for school, she took a brew up for Ness and left her to rest while she did the school run.
When she returned to Jacobs Fold Vanessa was alreasy downstairs puttting the washing machine on.

"Hey what are you doing up?" Charity kissed her.

"I feel a bit better so I thought I'd get a head start on the laundry"

"Babe let me do it. Just because you feel a bit better doesn't mean you can start doing stuff, I don't want you to overdo things and set yourself back again."

"You fuss too much. Anyway I'm meeting Paddy and Rhona at the pub later to update them and discuss risk assessments."

"Okay..what time?"

"Lunch time so I'll eat over there with them. Are you going to Hotten?"

"Yeah I was going to, do you think I should ring the B&B first. I could maybe arrange lunch with Ria if she wants that."

"I think that sounds like a good plan" Vanessa smiled placing her empty mug in the sink.

Charity came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist kissing her neck and breathing in her ear "how about I take you back to bed first"

Vanessa's heart flipped and she felt instantly aroused at the warmth of Charity's body pressed against hers and the warmth of her breath whispering the sultry invitation.

"Lead the way Ms Dingle" she answered submissively. As she turned Charity took her by the hand and up the stairs into their bedroom.

They lay tangled up together after their more sedate than usual session but both fully satisfied.Charity had been concerned and considerate in their intimacy putting Vanessa's needs above her own and taking every care to lavish adoration and love on her and Vanessa responded in kind never feeling so connected on every level in her whole life with anyone but Charity.

"I love these moments when it's just us hidden from the whole world" said Charity "I love the house full of our kids too but these moments are special"

"I know..maybe I should give up work completely and we can spend every day like this"

Charity laughed "yeah and we'd have no home never mind a bed to lie in!"

"Mmm it's nice to dream though"

They both giggled and a conversation ensued about winning the lottery and what they would do with the money, what they would buy, where they would travel.

"Urgh I need to get ready to go and meet Paddy and Rhona. Come on let's shower"

Once they were dressed Charity sat on the bed her phone in her hand and her heart hammering in her chest. She had put the number in her phone and her hand hovered over the call symbol.

Vanessa smiled at her "go on call, you'll be glad you did"

Charity pressed the call symbol and heard the phone ringing.

"Hi would it be possible to leave a message for one of your guests? Maria Dingle."

"I'm sorry Ms Dingle checked out about an hour ago."

"Oh sorry I must have got my days mixed up" Charity felt an overwhelming sadness that surprised her. She hadn't known herself just how much she had wanted this and now the chance was gone she was deflated.

Vanessa walked back into the bedroom and caught sight of Charity's expression.

"Charity? Are you okay?"

"She's gone...checked out this morning" she said slowly while staring at nothing.

"She might still be in Hotten"

"And where would I start looking?....no babes..there's no point some things aren't mean't to be. She's probably at the airport now. It's over."

"Charity there still maybe time"

Charity shook her head "no"

Vanessa was frustrated, she had been so close. Maybe if she hadn't gotten ill they would have met or maybe as Charity says some things just aren't meant to be.

"You'll be late for Paddy and Rhona babe."

"I can stay if you like or you can come with me"

"No I'll get myself something here in the house. You go I'll be fine"

"You sure"

"Yeah" Charity smiled and kissed her but Vanessa could sense her pain below the surface. She knew Charity wanted to be alone probably to grieve in secret.

"I won't be long I'll eat and come straight back"

"It's okay babe you don't need to rush back. I'm  going to the centre."

Vanessa hesitated for a second, Charity sensed her hesitation.

"Ness don't" she said firmly "I'm going to the centre" she continued softer.

"Yeah I know" Vanessa crossed the room and kissed her "the trust issue is just going to take time and you know that yourself...we'll work through it...I love you"

"I love you n all"

Vanessa knew Charity was carrying disappointment but at least she was going to a meeting instead of being alone with her thoughts. She pushed the niggling fear and anxiety down that had taken taken root again, it would take some time to remove it but that was part of the journey they were both on in recovery. Yes it was Charity's illness but it affected the family. Moses and Johnny were too young to understand or be too affected. It was Noah who had been affected the most out of their kids and then Vanessa who bore the brunt of it. She was the one who knew Charity's weaknessess, her triggers, her pain and noticed the subtle signs when she was struggling internally. She was also the one who bore the brunt of Charity's anger when her self loathing overwhelmed her along with the guilt of actively drinking.

Vanessa never wanted to go back there but she knew it would always be there lurking in the shadows. She knew Charity worked hard at overcoming it and her first year in recovery proved that she could be strong and given the recent events in her life Vanessa could completely understand why she had relapsed, however the aftermath is more difficult than she anticipated and the trust would take time to build again.

Vanessa left to meet Paddy and Rhona in the pub while Charity got herself ready to go into Hotten.

Charity's mood had gone flat. After all the upset of the past month she had felt ready to meet with Ria she had no idea what she wanted to achieve by meeting her but a strange sadness had come over her knowing that she had gone. She believes things happen for a reason and although it would be hard to keep Ness from encouraging her to contact Ria she had decided in her own heart it was meant to be this way.
She also knew she had to consider Noah as they had told him the truth about what had been going on.
'Why did I open my bloody mouth about it' she thought 'I could have said nothing and he'd be none the wiser'
"Shit shit shit" she thumped the steering wheel as she was driving.

The group meeting went well, Charity had shared in the session and to her embarrassment had almost cried although she quickly deflected with humour giving her time to put her armour on again. Nikki had spoken with her afterwards and as ever she had seen right through her warning her that she needs to deal with stuff or it will come back to bite her on the bum when she least expects it. Unfinished business is bad news for recovery she told her, Charity's response was that it was finished as far as she's concerned.
On top of her feeling shitty she had apologised to her protege and felt again the sting of shame from her relapse.

She drove home feeling empty, low in mood and lonely.

Vanessa was home when she got back and immediately sensed Charity was still in low mood.

"Hey how was your meeting?"

"Okay...yours?"

"Yeah I explained to them both what had happened and we are going to get an assistant in part time to help on my surgery days so I won't be having to deal with cleaning between surgery or post op care.
Risk assessments have been updated and apart from that not much else we can do. My job does carry risks but it's about minimising them as much as we can. Sometimes I forget my immune system is weak so it's been a wake up call for me to be extra careful."

Charity barely responded she just made a small noise in her throat of acknowledgement.

"You still seem down....you sure you're okay?" Vanessa put her arms around Charity who leant into her for comfort.

"I will be babe" Charity managed a weak smile.

"Brew?"

Charity nodded and went outside. Vanessa followed her a short time later with a mug of tea each. She sat down beside her on the bench.

"I'm gutted we told Noah, now I've got to tell him that he won't be meeting anyone"

"Charity it's good that we told Noah. I mean how many other people know? Chas, Paddy, Faith and Rhona...these things have a habit of getting out and it was best he heard it from you."

"They don't know about Ria though"

"But they know about Kathleen and Chas, Paddy and Rhona know about your relapse. Imagine if he heard that from someone else it would have completely damaged his trust. At least by telling him he knows your being honest with him and he responds positively to that."

"Yeah but what if he was getting excited about having an extended family?"

"He's got a massive extended family here and there was already the issue of him asking about meeting Kathleen which you are dead against. Whichever way it went it was going to be difficult, at least this way he will trust you because he knows you were honest with him."

"Hmm"

"Maybe we can take a holiday to Ireland sometime and arrange to meet up with Ria or you could find out information through Gypsys facebook. She's a horse dealer so if she's in business she's bound to have details online."

"I appreciate you trying to help out but things happen for a reason Ness and maybe it's just meant to be this way."

Vanessa looked at Chariy, she didn't look convinced at her own words.

Vanessa linked Charity's arm and slipped her hand in hers and sat back.

They sat in silence for a while drinking their tea in reflective mood.

"Life's weird babe."

"Oh?"

"It's fluid it never stays still, there's the happy times and then the rug gets pulled from under you and it all goes tits up." Charity sighed.

"Well we do have more than our fair share of drama...more than the average couple."

"Is it me? Am I like a magnet for drama?"

"Mmm well you have had a very colourful life life." Vanessa was trying to be diplomatic.

"Oh" Charity looked at her questioningly.

"I mean..everyones experiences are different Charity. I wouldn't have us any other way, life is colourful with you and certainly not boring! I mean would you want your life any other way?"

"Parts of my life have been really hard and I'd rather not of had those experiences..but...everything has brought me here to you so...no I wouldn't want it any other way."

"Well thats settled then" concluded Vanessa which made Charity giggle a little. Vanessa giggled also which then cascaded and before they knew it they were both laughing. To onlookers they would have appeared happy and carefree but the reality was one was struggling with addiction and the other in remission from cancer add to that the turbulent family life and the past that seems to invade their present and wreak havoc from time to time. They knew that whatever life threw at them they could face it together and come through each battle stronger.

"I love you babe" said Charity but she needn't have spoken the words because her look said it all.

"I know" replied Vanessa "and I love you too stupidly and completely."

Charity smiled and squeezed her hand.

"So what part of the world shall we dine tonight?"

"Let's go greek babe"

"Mmm moussaka let's do it."

They went inside and started preparing the tea.

"Okay Ness get your little facts together about Greece so we can teach the boys as we eat"

It was Vanessa's suggestion to every so often cook meals from around the world and bring interesting facts for the kids about the country. Charity thought it was cute because it was Ness's idea but she played it down to others.

That evening they enjoyed their tea and Vanessa beought a few simple facts about Greece to teach the boys. Johnny listened in awe while Moses ate his using his thumb and index finger lifting his arm high while laughing at nothing in particular.

After they finished the dishes were placed in the sink to wash later while they spent some playtime with the boys before their bath and bed.

Noah sat on the floor playing with Johnny and Moses with their building blocks before he decided to go to his room and play his console with his mates online.

Vanessa stayed on the floor playing while Charity got up to make a brew. She was stood at the back of the sofa chatting to Ness when she heard a noise at the door and a white envelope was posted through. Charity rushed to the door and opened it, she saw the back of a figure crossing the road towards a car.

"Wait" she shouted.

The figure walked on.

"Wait..please...Ria"

Ria stopped and turned but didn't look up.

"Ria please....come in"

"I have to be at the airport"

"Well...change your flight...I'll pay...please..don't go"

Ria slowly closed the car door and finally looked up at Charity who gave a nervous smile and motioned for her to follow.

Vanessa had heard Charity shout and had stood up and made her way to the door.
As she looked she saw Charity walking back up the path with Ria following behind her 'maybe some things are just meant to be' she thought to herself as she smiled at Charity and welcomed Ria into their home.

Chapter Text

Ria smiled cautiously as she passed Vanessa. She was nervous and so too was Charity.
Vanessa closed the door.

"Would you like a drink? Tea, coffee, cold drink? Sorry....we er..don't have anything stronger in the house." Said Vanessa.

"Tea is grand...thanks"

"Er..Vanessa my financee"

"Yeah we met last time"

Ria looked in the direction of Moses and Johnny who were still playing with their building blocks.

Charity gave a nervous laugh "that's Moses and Johnny our kids..well (nervous laugh) two of them"

"They're cute"

"Come...sit down" Charity motioned to the seating area and left Ria to choose the armchair or the sofa. She chose the armchair and Charity sat on the sofa.

Vanessa went to the kitchen to make a brew for them.

"Johnny, Moses do you want to say hello?" Charity asked them.

Johnny got up and stood looking at Ria, he studied her, staring at her and then at Charity before making his way to nestle between Charity's knees trying to melt into her through his shyness.
Moses walked over to Ria with some building blocks and dropped them in her lap. He looked at her then reached out his hand ready to stick his finger in her mouth to touch her teeth.

"Moses! Stop it...I'm really sorry but teeth are his new thing. He's fascinated with them..no idea why" Charity laughed nervously again.

"Oi kid I'll let you into a secret" Ria said to Moses in hushed tones "I know where the tooth fairy lives"

Moses laughed and excitedly looked at Charity. Johnny's mouth opened wide and he put his finger in his mouth looking at Charity from the corner of his eye. She could see a shy smile of wonder appearing on his little face"

"Where?" Asked Moses.

"In a land of green called Ireland..but thats all I can say" she winked.

"No" laughed Moses.

"Yeaaaah" said Ria "look she gave me these" and dropped her partial upper dentures.

Moses squealed in delight clapping his hands together. Charity laughed, Johnny's mouth was now in an O shape as he ventured a step forward and Charity felt him leave her to move closer to Ria. Vanessa hadn't seen what happened as she was in the kitchen but she smiled anyway as clearly the boys were enthralled.

Vanessa carried their mugs of tea through and placed them on the table joining Charity on the sofa.

"Ria's just been showing Johnny and Moses her gift from the tooth fairy" Charity informed Vanessa.

"Oh?" Vanessa looked at Ria who dropped her dentures down again and smiled.
This sent Moses into overdrive as he threw himself on the floor laughing. Johnny edged even closer to Ria studying her.
Vanessa laughed.

"You're very good with kids" Vanessa said.

"I've four of me own...all grown up now. Three grandkids" she smiled. "Reminds me...I have to call Sol and tell him not to go to the airport. Excuse me, can I nip out back"

"Yeah course" Charity pointed the way.

Ria got up and went out to call Sol and break the news she wasn't coming back just yet.

Charity and Vanessa were stting on the sofa together as Charity turned to Vanessa
"Four kids and three grandkids!" Charity whispered and Vanessa could hear the excitement in her hushed tones.

Vanessa smiled "Charity I'm going to take the boys up for their bath and give you two some space."

"Babe it's okay.."

"Charity there's stuff you need to talk about and Ria probably feels awkward enough without me being here as well. I'll just be upstairs...you'll be fine. Oh..and..she needs somewhere to stay" Vanessa grinned again "it's fine if you want to ask her to stay here"

"What? Oh yeah I hadn't thought"

Vanessa kissed Charity as Ria came back in.

"I'm going to take the boys up for their bath. We'll be back down after."

Vanessa took the boys upstairs promising them they could come back to say goodnight.

Ria smiled "Thankfully I caught Sol before he left. I've no doubt Gypsy will be calling later wanting an update. She wanted to come with me but I thought it best not. Gypsy's my daughter."

"You called her Gypsy?"

"No" Ria laughed "I called her Esther"

"You hated that name! You even went by your middle name...I can't believe you gave it to your daughter!" Charity laughed.

"I know..I think I must have still been high of the laughing gas when I named her!"

"So where did Gypsy come from?"

"We had a lot of horses on the farm and she was always hanging around them. I swear she could ride before she could walk and always going about with no shoes on. I don't know how she was never injured. Cheeky wee shite she was..still is" she laughed nervously. People used to say she was like a wee gypsy and she liked it so Gypsy she became, wouldn't answer to anything else."

"How old are your kids, how many boys,girls?'

"Solomon is the eldest he's 28 married and has twin boys and a girl.
Then I've twin boys Levi and Elon we call him Lonny they're 26 and Gypsy's the baby she's 24."

"Solomon is 28? That's not long after I left Bradford you were pregnant?"

"Yeah" Ria lowered her eyes.

"Wow..anyone I knew?"

"You remember Paddy the Navvy?"

"Noooooo..he was about 70!" Squealed Charity.

"Come on Charity exaggerating there love....he was 69"

Charity and Ria both burst out laughing.

"He was in his late 30's at the time, he seemed old because we were so young. He wasn't that old he gave me 4 children!"

"They're all his? He was married!"

"Yeah and he stayed married. His wife found out but wouldn't separate. He took me over to Ireland when I had Sol. He was a good man Charity...he saved my life and our sons life. He looked after us all, we never wanted for anything"

"What happened?"

"Just after you went I found out I was pregnant. I knew it was Paddy's, he was a regular and a bit special.I did have feelings for him.. we didn't always take precaution as I did with other punters.
He got us a flat and helped me wean off the heroin. He was amazing, when Sol was born he wanted to take us to Ireland. He'd bought a cottage and land about 2 hours away from his other family.I got help applying for documents/ID. That's when I found out who my parents really were. The only birth recorded for Esther Maria Dingle was to birth parents Kathleen and Obadiah. Paddy confirmed it with a visit to Ezra, he told him Kathleen had asked him and Polly to look after me. Paddy left it at that but told Ezra if any Dingle comes within a mile of me he'd fucking kill them with his bare hands and half throttled Ezra to let him know he was more than capable."

"Why didn't you try and contact me?"

"Charity...you almost died that night. Cain and Chas took you I could hardly show my face again and I had enough to deal with being pregnant, an addict, new mum and early in recovery. Plus you know what we did.....I was so messed up when I found out. I had a hard time dealing with it. I didn't want to put you through that" Ria looked at the floor.

After a period of awkward silence Charity spoke quietly "I was sober for a year and then I found out..had a relapse."

"Charity I'm sorry"

"It's not your fault. We did what we did to get what we needed. Freaked me out..yeah but can't change things the past is the past......
How did you cope...when you found out?"

"Paddy. I told him, I had no one else. He was so supportive, never judged, loved me regardless of what I'd done. He was so understanding, I mean he knew what I was when we met, he was a paying punter in the beginning."

"Ness knows....I was trying to cope and hiding the fact I was drinking again. It got out of control pretty quick, so quick it surprised me. It all came out and she's been amazing, she is amazing. I'd never truly loved before I met Ness and I've been married 3 times!"

"What! So...how many kids?"

"You know about Debs well she found me and came to live with me as a teenager. She's in Scotland at the moment and has two of her own Sarah and Jack.
Then there's Ryan, long story but the baby I gave birth to before I met you in Bradford and thought he had died actually survived, I only found out few years ago when I took his dad to court and had him sent down. He was a bent copper who held me captive for him and his mates to use for sex. I escaped the flat he held me in and slept rough until I had the baby then when I thought he died I ran, thats how I ended up in Bradford again."

"Bloody 'ell Charity why didn't you tell me about the copper back then?"

"It was better to try and forget. Anyway Ryan is back in my life, he was brought up by a midwife who adopted him.
Then there's Noah he's 16 and upstairs on his computer games. I'll call him down shortly so you can meet him. I told him about you the other night.
You've met Moses and Johnny. Vanessa gave me Johnny I've adopted him legally."

"Have you got pictures?"

Ria moved from the armchair and sat next to Charity on the sofa. Both were busy with their phones finding photographs showing each other their kids and grandkids. As they shared stories, cried and laughed the years melted away.

Vanessa came back down with Johnny and Moses after their bath. She saw them sitting next to each other on the sofa chatting easily and showing each other pictures on their phones, her eyes glistened with tears of happiness for Charity but she quickly composed herself.

"Two very clean tots ready to say goodnight" she said.

Charity called them both to come her.

"Johnny, Moses you know mummy Ness has a sister Tracey and she's your auntie. Well Ria is my sister, she lives in another country you have to get on an aeroplane or a boat to get there. Ria's your auntie."

Johnny stood shyly looking at Ria before making his way closer to Charity wanting to sit on her lap. Moses went straight over to Ria and put his hands on her knees, grinned up at her and laughed.
Vanessa stood behind the sofa desperately trying to keep her tears of happiness from showing in her eyes.

"Come on then boys say night to auntie Ria and mummy" Vanessa said smiling.

"N-night" they chorused clamouring for kisses from Charity. She kissed and squeezed them both and they happily went upstairs with Vanessa to bed.

"You seem really happy...I'm glad" said Ria.

"Yeah" Charity nodded "I am"

"So you stayed off the drugs after...you know"

"Yeah didn't use after that...well apart from a little dabble over a year ago..not gear..it was crack. We were going through a bad time, Ness was at her mums and going through chemo. I couldn't handle it...it was just there and that wasn't really the big problem it was alcohol."

"I don't really drink neither just a half a guiness occassionally but no more. It's not healthy to have more it just brings feelings back of being wasted that I had using drugs and I still could enjoy that feeling, it's everything else that goes with it..it's just not worth it. Plus it would soon get out of control."

"A right pair aren't we" Charity laughed nervously.

"So Vanessa had cancer?"

"Yeah bowel cancer, they done surgery and then she had chemo. That was over a year ago, she's all clear now just has regular check ups to monitor for any changes."

"Feck that must have been scary"

"Yeah that's when my drinking first really got out of control. I'd always drank a bit too much and self medicated after the trial when it all came out about the copper but I managed it. When Ness had cancer and she was at her mums for a while I just couldn't cope and was physically dependent by that time."

Vanessa came back down and went into the kitchen sorting the laundry.

"Charity there's something for you in the envelope I posted" said Ria.

"Oh?"

Charity got up and picked up the envelope that she left on the side. She sat back down and opened it, a small gold locket fell out. Charity gasped and whispered " Debs" she looked at Ria with tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Charity"

"I can't believe you.."

"I know...I know..I'm so sorry I took it. I still had it the night you took those tablets. I didn't know you were so low and even if you weren't it was so wrong of me"

"Ria I don't care. I shouldn't have done what I done. I wasn't thinking about you when I lay down beside you. I wanted to die I..I.. just didn't want to be alone when it happened. Even without my stuff being robbed it was a matter of time I was so fucked up after Debs being given away, being held by Bails and raped by him continuously and his mates and then my baby dying or so I thought. I was a mess Ria and I know how desperate the withdrawals make you. I don't blame you for taking it, we were both messed up."

Charity opened the locket and inside was clippings of baby hair, silent tears fell.

"Wow me dad didn't know Pat gave me this to remember Debs" she looked at Ria "thank you" she whispered "for keeping it all these years"

"I'm ashamed I even took it in the first place and then when I found out the truth I couldn't let it go even to you. It was the only thing I had of you left."

Vanessa heard everything from the kitchen but carried on sorting through the laundry not wanting to intrude on the poignant moment. From the corner of her eye she saw Charity move towards Ria reaching out her arms as they held onto each other for a long embrace.

Finally breaking apart Charity spoke "If you need me to say it then I forgive you but really there's no need to say it. I'm just happy you looked after it. If I had it who knows I might of lost it." She said through a half laugh half cry.

Ria smiled "thank you"

Suddenly the moment was interrupted by Ria's phone ringing.

"Ah it's Gypsy on messenger...I knew she'd call..feckin nosey hole. Do you want to say hello? She asked Charity who nodded in response.

Ria handed her the phone to answer the video call.

"Well Ma what aboutcha? You're not coming back yet..is everything okay?" Gypsy wasn't looking as she spoke but as she turned her focus to the screen she was shocked.

"Feck ma you've dyed your hair blonde!"

Charity laughed "Yeah and I've had a face lift. Don't you think I look younger?"

Gypsy laughed.

"Cheeky bugger" Ria feigned offence.

"Ah you're a gas! Well well so you're my aunt Charity. I take it I'll be your favourite niece?"

"Well of course seeing as there's no competition!" Charity quipped back.

"Even if there was I'd still hold that title!"

"Well it's nice to meet you favourite niece"

"Ma...I like her you can keep her"

Vanessa came up behind Charity drawn in by Gypsys warm tones and easy banter. She was quite a stunner too observed Vanessa.

"Ness" Charity held up the phone for Gypsy to see Vanessa. "This is Vanessa my fiancee"

"Fiancee! Jaysus you're just too cool and sexy for your own good!...hello Vanessa" smiled Gypsy.

Vanessa waved laughing.

"So what do you want apart from being nosey?" Ria asked.

"Ma I'm not nosey just curious. I'm checking you're okay."

"And?" Ria questioned.

"And nothing!"

"Alright, well I'm grand and you've satisfied your curiosity and said hello to Charity and Vanessa. I'm not sure when I'll be back but I'll let you know."

"Okay...oh I've booked a flight for tomorrow. I'm flying into Leeds. I have some business, I could meet up with you at some point?" Gypsy threw the statement/question out there.

"Gypsy! I can't meet up with you. I thought I said not this time..too soon"

"I got a buyer Ma for the youngsters in Westmorland. I'm meeting him tomorrow."

Charity and Vanessa looked at each other and smirked.

Ria's cheeks flushed.

"Okay Gypsy I'll call you later.Bye"

"Bye Ma bye Charity bye Vanessa"

Both Charity and Vanessa were laughing but sensed Ria's embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry, I told you she was a cheeky shite."

Charity laughed "oh come on Ria she seems fun and full of life"

"Full of shite n all. I'll call her later."

"She's selling horses in Westmorland?" Asked Vanessa.

"Yeah I have land in a few places. It was Paddy purchased the land all in my name, same as the farm in Ireland. I said he was a good man, he made sure we were secure finacially. Good job really as he died sooner than expected. Sol was 14, the twins 12 and Gypsy 10. His wife wouldn't even let the kids go to the funeral. It wasn't their fault his marriage was a sham. He was their father regardless of what his wife and other kids thought."

"How did he die?" Asked Charity.

"He was big into bare knuckle fighting. He was good at it n all but took a punch one night and never woke up from it. Had his fingers in loads of pies construction his main occupation then fighting for big money and horse dealing.He saw us right and for that I'll always love him despite his many faults"

"Wow it must have been difficult for you."

"Actually it was good life, lonely at times but I had my kids. The locals used to talk but they got used to us. Paddy worked in England then he'd stay with us a while and go back to his family."

"Does Gypsy go to Appleby?" asked Vanessa.

"Oh yeah every year buying and selling. You know the big horse fair then?"

"I've done some work there a couple of times"

"Oh" Ria was intrigued.

"Vanessa's a vet" beamed Charity with pride.

"Frig! Oh don't let Gypsy know she'll have you up and down the country with her and she'll definitely be inviting herself here..wow a vet"

Charity and Vanessa both laughed.

"Let her come I'd like to meet her" said Charity.

"You sure it's not too much too soon?"

"No too much time has passed already. Do you want to meet Noah?"

"I'd love to meet him"

Charity went upstairs to Noahs room and knocked on his door. He didn't answer as he was busy playing online with his mates. She opened the door and got his attention.

"What's up?" He asked.

"We've got a visitor downstairs. Ria is here."

"Your sister?"

"Yeah..she wants to meet you. You up for it? Do you want to come down and meet her?

Noah set his gaming headset down and stood up.

"What's she like?" He asked.

"Come and see for yourself...she won't bite" Charity laughed.

Charity walked down the stairs ahead of Noah. Ria looked towards them.

Noah stood looking slightly awkward.

"Hi Noah"

"Alright" he laughed nervously "you look like mum but with dark hair"

"And prettier?" Ria joked.

Noah laughed and sat down.

"So have I got cousins?" He asked.

"Four Sol, Levi, Lonny and Gypsy" Ria smiled.

"Are they boys or girls?"

"Gypsy's my only daughter she's my youngest"

"She's coming tomorrow" said Charity.

"Cool" he replied itching to get back upstairs as his teenage awkwardness set in.

"Must be a shock for you Noah..sorry about that" said Ria.

"Nah I'm used to it. I didn't know about my brother Ryan until a few years ago"

Noah stood up but didn't go back upstairs instead he hung around the kitchen making himself cereal and eating it standing at the worktop. Charity knew he wanted to hang around without looking obvious so she continued her conversation with Ria while he listened from a distance.

"Will you stay here with us...you can stay in Sarah's old room....if..if..you want to?" Charity put it out there hopefully but without pressure.

"Are you sure?" Ria asked surprised.

"Yeah I'd like that" Charity responded.

"Are Chas and Cain still here?"

"Yeah I own half the pub, Chas owns the other half"

Ria grimaced "don't suppose my welcome will be so warm there."

"It's fine it was a long time ago. I'll tell them anyway if they start."

"You don't know what Chas did to me that night....I haven't forgotten" Ria gave a little laugh.

"Why what happened?" Charity asked.

Ria just shook her head "doesn't matter now"

A look of concern showed on Vanessa's face, she had picked up an undercurrent of anger in Ria's tone.

Noah listened from the kitchen before excusing himself to go back upstairs. He had also picked up on the vibe, he entered his bedroom and lay down on his bed replaying the conversation between Charity and Ria intrigued.

"So will you collect Gypsy from the airport?" Asked Vanessa.

"Nah that girls got so many contacts in so many towns she's never short of a chauffeur when she rocks up"

"Is that a hire car you have?"

"Yeah I extended the lease when I called Sol earlier."

"You didn't need to do that, we could take it back tomorrow. We both have cars there's no need for you to keep it."

"It's done now and anyway I like to have my independence. I can make a swift getaway if needed!"

"Old habits die hard" Charity laughed.

"Aye something like that...fight or flight"

"The heightened instinct of the survivor...it never quite leaves...never wanting to feel at the mercy of others" Charity understood that feeling completely.

"Gypsy will show up when she's ready, you get used to her bohemian ways" Ria chuckled.

They chatted until the early hours, Vanessa had gone to bed earlier and left Charity and Ria to talk.
Finally they called it a night as the tiredness hit them both, they had plenty of time to catch up in the coming days.

Vanessa woke as Charity climbed in bed beside her.

"Hey" she said groggy with sleep.

"Sorry babes didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay. Ria seems lovely and her daughter seems a real character" Vanessa chuckled.

"Yeah she does. Ria's calmed down she used to be crazy."

"She's older now and she's raised a family, a very close knit family by the sound of it. Both of you have changed. She seemed a bit tense that Chas and Cain are here though."

"Yeah she told me what happened that night. I don't remember it as I was unconcious at the time. Apparently Chas gave her a good hiding, that's how she lost her teeth."

"Oh my god!.....do you think things will be okay between them?"

"I don't know but Chas will just have to get used to it. She's thankful that Cain and Chas came that night otherwise I would have died but Chas was unfair in what she did. Ria wasn't able to defend herself or fight back she was so out of it. We'll just have to wait and see how it goes."

"Are you happy she came?"

"Yeah....I am actually. It's like the years have made no difference. The connection is still there and I like her, I always liked Ria we went through so much together and even though we were a mess and it ended the way it did for the most part we looked out for each other."

Vanessa cuddled into Charity and as Charity wrapped her arms around her Vanessa lay her head on her chest.

"Night babes"

"Night" said Vanessa kissing Charity softly.

As they both settled to sleep they each had their own thoughts and concerns about what tomorrow would bring when Ria, Chas and Cain came face to face.

Chapter Text

Next morning Charity woke with Vanessa spooning her, her arm draped over Charity's waist. Her movement stirred Vanessa.

Charity moved her head to reach Vanessa's lips with hers.

"Morning babes"

"Mmm morning"

"I better get up and make sure the boys don't disturb Ria. I'm dreading Moses discovering she's in Sarah's room,  I have visions of him sneaking in and stealing her teeth"

Vanessa laughed "5 minutes my sweet" returning the kiss.

Charity snuggled in closer "aw go on then"

They both giggled, they loved waking up together, starting their day off in each others arms, declaring their love before their feet even touched the floor. Special moments just the two of them before the day began with all its distractions.

"Debs called last night"

"Did you tell her?"

"Yeah but she didn't want to talk to Ria. Then I think she called Noah because she video called after that and said hello to her."

"I could hear Noah talking I thought he was still on his game, it was quite late. I didn't go in just incase it was Debbie or Ryan he was talking to."

"Ryan doesn't know yet but I'm meeting him in the cafe after I drop the boys off. I'll tell him then and if he wants he can come and meet her."

"Noah seemed happy meeting her"

"Yeah I thought so too. Oh by the way I think Gypsy has invited us to Westmorland, Ria said she'd drive up there take the hire car. We can go after the boys finish school if you want. Not sure if Noah will come, if Ryan wants to come Noah might."

"Yeah that will be nice, I've never been to Appleby when it's quiet only when the fair is on and it's chocka then. Ria seems to have a lot of land around the place."

"I know she's done really well for herself, I'm glad. She's very shrewd, she seems calmer now but not sure under the surface if the old Ria will come out if she pissed off or wronged. I saw her come off better in scraps with blokes back in the day. People knew not to cross her."

"Are you worried about Cain and Chas when they meet?"

"A bit....I don't know what way it's going to go. They'll have to meet at some point but it's between them. I don't really care about Cain but I'd like her and Chas to get along. Can't force it though..it's up to them."

Charity squeezed Vanessa closer into her as the bedroom door opened and Johnny wandered in. He climbed on the bed and nestled in the middle of them.

"Gosh he's awake early" said Vanessa.

"Morning Johnnybobs where's Moses?"

Johnny yawned and sighed, he wasn't fully awake. Charity smiled, her heart melted at the sight of Johnnybobs. She knew his ways, knew he doesn't really speak when he's just woke whereas Moses could start singing, dancing and doing cartwheels as soon as he opens his eyes.

Right on que the sound of an elephant doing somersaults across the landing broke the quietness.

"Morning Moz" said Charity as his face appeared in the doorway.

He grinned as he made his way to the bed and climbed on throwing himself between them and almost on top of Johnny. Johnny lifted his head at the interuption and then let it fall again.

Moses started talking loudly until Charity shushed him.

"Auntie Ria is sleeping"

Moses gasped in surprise and moved to wriggle off the bed. Charity caught him in time before he could take off to find his new playmate.

"Woah mister...she's sleeping. Later you can see her."

"I'll go and get their clothes" said Vanessa "I think it will take both of us getting them ready this morning or else Moz will be disappearing looking for Ria"

Charity laughed as Vanessa slipped out of bed to go and get their clothes she had laid out the night before.
Once they were dressed the four of them made their way downstairs for breakfast.

Noah appeared looking tired.

"Hope you weren't up late playing video games" said Charity.

"I wasn't Debbie rang after she spoke to you. Wanting to know what was going on, she weren't happy about the news. She calmed down, told her Ria was sound"

Charity was impressed "well I don't know what you said to her but she video called after that and I introduced her to Ria." Charity was thoughtful for a while, "thanks Noah...it means a lot" she smiled.

Noah shrugged "I'm off"

"See you later...Oh are you coming with us to Westmorland later?"

"Dunno..see what Ryan says."

"Ok I'll text you."

"Bye Noah" smiled Vanessa.

They enjoyed the walk to the school and on the way back they met Ryan at the cafe.

"Hey glad you could make it" Charity greeted him.

"What's so urgent that you needed to see me today?"

"I'll get the coffee's in" Vanessa left to order the coffee while Charity and Ryan chatted
As Vanessa walked back with the order she saw Ryan smiling, Charity had just finished explaining about Ria as she joined them.

"Cool my family keeps getting bigger and bigger" he laughed.

"You used to be an only child and then you got a sister and 3 brothers. Now you have a new auntie and 4 cousins!" Vanessa laughed too.

"So when do I get to meet her?" asked Ryan.

"Well she's in the house if you want to come back and meet her now. We've also been invited to Westmorland later today to meet Gypsy your cousin if you'd like to come?"

"Gypsy? I have a cousin called Gypsy..really?"

"It's not her real name, she doesn't like her real name so she goes by Gypsy." Explained Charity.

"Wait til you meet her she seems a real character" smiled Vanessa.

Ryan laughed "I look forward to it"

"I think Noah will go if you do"

"I'll speak to Noah.. lets finish our coffee and then I'll go meet my new auntie"

As they entered Jacobs Fold Ria was stood in the kitchen making a brew.

"Ah thought the rapture had taken place..not a soul in the house when I woke"

"Sorry, we took the boys to school and met Ryan. He's come to meet you"

Ryan stepped forward.

"This is my eldest son Ryan" said Charity.

"Well pleased to meet you Ryan. I know...I'm a bit of a surprise but one I hope you'll like!"

" From what I hear you're not so bad... but I have to say I'm still the best surprise mum has had!"

"Oh you're hers alright...cheeky bugger"

They all laughed and Ryan kept up the banter with Ria until he announced he had to go but promised to join them later to meet Gypsy but only if he could persuade Noah to go.

As lunch time approached Charity suggested going to the Woolpack.

"Do you think I should maybe tell Chas first before we go over?" Charity asked Ria.

"No I think the element of surprise gives me the advantage. Don't give them a chance to have a family court and make a decision to excommunicate me and possibly you before we've even spoke. I remember how ridiculous they can be those bloody stupid Dingle courts."

Charity scoffed "I get excommunicated every few years."

"Cheeky bastards..but I'm very aware Charity that this is your home and the reality is they have been your family. I can't steam in and take that away from you or them so I come in peace and I'd like us to get along. I'm hoping they won't hold the past against me."

"They always throw mine up at me..well Cain does but they all have a low opinion of me. Its improved since I met Ness but in fairness she has loved me into being a better person.
I'll give Ness a shout....Ness" she called up the stairs.

"Yeah?"

"We're going the Wooly for lunch in about 30 mins."

"Okay I'll be ready."

Vanessa came downstairs about 20 minutes later.

"Have you told Chas we're coming?" Vanessa asked but really she meant have you told Chas Ria is here.

"No Ria thinks the element of surprise will be in her favour."

"Chas won't have time to sharpen her claws" Ria laughed.

Vanessa wasn't so sure about this but wanted to show her support for Charity and Ria. She mentally prepared herself for a showdown.

Soon they were out the door and making the short walk to the pub. As they entered Ria went straight to the toilets, Charity and Vanessa went on into the bar area. There were a few customers about, Nicola and Jimmy were stood at the bar, Pearl in her usual seat along with Rhona and Paddy having lunch. Cain was propping up the end of the bar having a lunch time pint chatting with Chas who was behind the bar.

As Charity and Vanessa walked in Chas and Cains attention was on them.

"Eh up better keep a good grip on me pint in case she swipes it" said Cain.

Charity looked at Chas who looked down at her feet.

"Cain" Chas warned quietly.

Charity scoffed "you told him."

"What that you were stealing bottles of vodka and getting wasted on the pubs profits" he laughed "you never change Charity..what's up Ness not entertaining you enough?"

"That's enough" spat Vanessa.

A stern strong voice came from behind them "she's right. That is enough" Ria had joined them.

Cain froze for a second until recognition slowly crept into his brain and showed on his face.

"Well well did you walk that piece of shite in on your shoe Charity?" asked Cain.

"I said that's enough" Ria repeated.

Cain laughed  "Really?....you could never get enough of a lot of things at one time. You even started sticking needles in her veins and whoring her out because you could never have enough"

"Cain it wasn't like that" said Charity defending Ria.

"Yeah well she was quite happy off her face while leaving you to die beside her, breathing your last while she was gouching of the gear. She didn't give a shit about you."

No one quite saw what happened as it happened so quickly. One second Cain had been standing at the end of the bar and then in the next second he was on the floor with a split lip and Ria standing over him.

"That was just a warning. Never ever let me hear a derogatory comment about Charity pass them feckin lips ever again. It stops now." Commanded Ria.

"Now just a minute...don't you come in my pub throwing your weight around and punching my brother. The door's there...get out" Chas shouted although she didn't leave the safety of behind the bar.

"Chas stop she's going nowhere" said Charity.

"She bloody well is, she's not welcome here." Chas continued shouting.

The other customers had stopped to stare and enjoy the entertainment.

" Chas she's staying...can we go in the back and talk"

"Not until she leaves"

"Make me" challenged Ria "although my guess is you're too shit scared because I'm capable of fighting back this time."

"Ria stop" cried Charity. She really hadn't wanted it to go this way. "Chas, Cain we need to talk." Charity continued.

Cain scowled "Get that scum out of this village never mind the pub or she'll be going out in an ambulance. Have you forgotten what she did?"

Charity couldn't take anymore "she's my sister"

"You what?" Cain looked confused, Chas stepped back further.

"She's my sister" Charity said again "and she's welcome here in my pub so let's go in the back and talk."

Nicola gasped at the bar with the juicy revelations, Pearl nearly wet herself with excitement. Rhona's mouth hung open while Paddy dithered about going in to back Chas up or stay where he was and avoid a Dingle ding dong in which he would most certainly come out of the worst. As much as Paddy didn't want to join them he knew he would suffer Chas's wrath later if he didn't....he sighed "a rock and a hard place" he muttered to himself and got up to join the family conference.

Jimmy turned to Nicola and others at the bar "Nothing quite like a Dingle family reunion eh".

Chas headed towards the back room followed by Charity, Ria and Vanessa.

"Show's over folks" Vanessa hissed at the gleeful onlookers as she passed. Cain stood rooted to the spot licking his split lip and silently fuming.

They all stood in the back room awkwardly, the shock of being floored by Ria and Charity's revelation had finally worn off Cain and he joined them scowling standing by the door. His discomfort and anger was dripping off him but he knew he didn't hold the power in this mess. As much as he wished to storm off he needed to stay and find out just what was going on and to try and regain the upper hand.

"Don't think for one moment I'll forget that" he warned Ria.

"I don't suppose you will Cain and neither will the rest of the folk who witnessed it, you'll be the talk of the village." Said Ria.

"Shut it you tart. Haven't you got punters to go and service?" He spat "and you (looking at Charity) have you forgotten she would have left you for dead? Happily smacking herself up while you were lying unconcious."

"Cain stop it, it wasn't all Ria's fault. I made bad decisions. It wasn't in my control what happened to me and neither was it in Ria's control what happened to her...it was just life...shitty life but I've changed and Ria's changed."

"You never change Charity." He said smugly.

Ria interjected "and Cain please tell me what responsibilty you have taken for how Charity's life went? If you hadn't of took advantage of her when she was a vulnerable teenager crying out for love maybe her life would have been different. She was left pregnant, alone and then her baby taken from her. She was thirteen Cain..thiiiirteen." she said drawing out and emphasising Charity's young age.

"Yeah well I didn't know about Debs back then."

"No but you certainly knew what you were fuckin doing when you got her pregnant" Ria sighed...."Look I'm not here to throw blame around Cain because we all played our parts. I really hoped now we're older we'd be wiser and put the past behind us. Leave it where it should be..in the past."
Ria continued "look Chas I don't want to fight but if I have to I will. I want to be part of Charity's life...we're sisters and you can't change that. I'm so glad you came that night...both of you...because yeah the reality is if you hadn't Charity would have died and I hate myself for that. That yes I was so out of my head on heroin I was oblivious to her pain and I admit I did steal from her and I'm ashamed of that but Charity has forgiven me so I'm asking can you please find it in you to forgive me for my failings back then.

Chas...you knocked my teeth out and left me black and blue and that was way out of order because I wasn't capable of fighting back. I was defenseless that night but I understand your anger when you found us in that house. It's in the past as far as I'm concerned.
I know you's have been Charity's family these past years and Chas you've been more of a sister than I ever have but...I'm here now and I'm going to be a part of Charity's life."

Chas stood with her arms folded in a defensive stance, she looked awkward and didn't know what to say.

Cain couldn't resist another dig "so the rumours were true"

"What rumours?" Asked Charity surprised.

Cain looked at Chas who looked at the floor.

"What rumours?" Asked Charity again looking at Chas.

"Chas...what rumours?"

"Nothing...just drunken ramblings when me dad was pissed."

"What do you mean?" Charity pushed for an answer.

"Charity..like I said..nothing just drunken ramblings. I didn't think it was anything." Chas could have quite happily punched Cain herself.

Cain couldn't help himself, the opportunity to score one up on Charity was too much "Me dad said it was in the blood of Obadiahs children..addiction and immorality and that it served Obadiah right for being a sanctimonious religious old bastard."

"See it was nothing." Said Chas.

"But he made it known me dad had more than one kid that meant I had a brother or sister!" Charity shrieked.

Charity turned to Chas her eyes glassy "why didn't you tell me Chas? Him I can understand (pointing at Cain) but you...even if it was just the ramblings of a drunken man I could have talked to him before he died to see if it was true"

Charity you know what me dad was like...he was a waste of space causing trouble and permanently pissed. He always said Obadiah thought he was better than the rest with his religious claptrap...it just seemed the ramblings of a bitter drunk that me dad was.You'd never of got the truth from him especially if he saw opportunity to cause trouble"

"But if I'd of known I could have even asked me dad" Charity's anger increased.

"Do you think he would have been anymore truthful than me dad?" Shouted Chas.

"Now look...going over this isn't going to change things" said Ria " it doesn't matter now who knew what or who said what...what matters is the truth is out and me and Charity can build our relationship and our kids but to do that we all need to get along. I know you're her family and you're mine too whether you like that or not."

Out in the bar Zac, Sam, Lydia, Marlon and Mandy appeared and headed through to the back room.

"Eh it's the cavalry" laughed Jimmy.

Nicola strained her neck to try and hear or catch a glimpse of the showdown which was now taking palce in the backroom.

Pearl bent close to Rhona's ear "you can get all the info from Vanessa later"

"I certainly won't be telling you Pearl if she does tell me...it's private business" answered Rhona.

"Do you think they're fighting back there?" Asked Nicola to no one in particular.

"I don't know...I can't hear anymore raised voices" said Jimmy "but I wouldn't mind another pint if there's anyone serving"

"Self service maybe" suggested Rodney.

"Tell you what you go behind the bar and pour me a pint while they're all in the back scrappin" said Jimmy.

"Bugger off...not a chance..imagine getting caught by Charity or Chas with the mood they're in. I'd have a long stay in Hotten General if I did that" Rodney grimaced.

The initial excitement of the showdown was starting to wear off in the bar as people began to complain about the lack of service and entertainment.

In the backroom tensions were still high when the rest of the Dingles burst through the door.

"What's going on?" Zac bellowed "what's the urgency?" He stopped dead when he saw Ria standing beside Charity. A look of confusion came over his face.

"Who are you?" He asked having never met Ria before and looking from her to Charity and back again registering the resemblence.

"No" he breathed in disbelief.

"Yes uncle Zac...let me guess you heard the rumours 'n all"

"W..w..well rumours yeah but I never believed it, it was our Shadrach started them and I never believed a word 'e said. Obadiah was a drunk but 'e 'ad 'is principles....you're not...seriously..you're Obadiahs?"

Ria nodded the other Dingles stood there open mouthed except Cain who had a smirk on his face and Chas who sighed loudly and rested her elbows on the kitchen counter with her head in her hands. An awkward silence fell in the room until finally Chas looked up.

"Get out all of you except Charity, Ria and Vanessa...go on out including you Cain."

"Don't tell me you're goin' to give her the time of day."

"Oh grow up Cain" bellowed Chas fed up with his stirring. "Go on out..Marlon watch the bar"

"It's my day off!" He moaned "I only came because I thought there was an emergency"

"The emergencys behind the bar so tend to it" she said curtly.

One by one they trudged out of the back room and into the bar muttering amongst themselves at this new turn of events leaving Charity, Vanessa, Ria and Chas to sort stuff out.

"Er you er okay? Well when I say okay I mean er do you need me.."

"No Paddy" Chas interupted irritated by his dithering.

Paddy walked out slowly to join the others in the bar who were hanging onto Cain's every word with his wealth of information.

Chapter Text

Chas stayed standing in the kitchen "So..how did this come about then" she said emphasising the 'this' as she threw her arms in the air.

"Kathleen told me when I met her, that's why I started drinking again. I couldn't really cope and didn't even tell Ness what Kathleen had revealed. You know me and Ria hung about together and we both had our issues."

"Well that's one way to describe it" said Chas still sounding pissed off.

"Kathleen also went to see Ria (Charity skipped the part that Ria had known for years as she didn't want awkward questions). Ria came to see me and that's about it."

"Charity I honestly didn't think there was any possibility that you had a sister or brother, me dad was a drunk and a spiteful trouble making one. He talked shite even when he was sober which wasn't often."

"I know and I probably wouldn't have listened to him or believed him anyway because I knew what an arsehole he was" Charity laughed.

"Chas...I meant what I said you know..its in the past and I want us to get along." Added Ria.

Chas turned away and said nothing.

"Chas...this has been huge for me, I fucked up big time when I met Kathleen, it was all too much but now....now I've seen Ria again and spoke with her daughter, she's met our kids and she's going to be part of our lives. Chas it's the past I'm not that same person and neither is Ria."

"Look Chas...that night when you and Cain came and took Charity I admit I didn't know what was happening I was out of it on drugs. I'm so thankful that you both were there and I can't say that enough. Yeah you were out of order what you done to me, I know you were angry I would have been too and I don't have any bad feeling. I just want us to get along for Charity's sake. Do you think we can do that?"

"I don't know...I don't know what to think"

Charity spoke again "Chas I don't want anyone knowing about Kathleen."

"Charity too many people know you won't be able to keep it secret. What about your dad? He deserves to know and what if uncle Zac tells Obadiah about Ria?"

"He doesn't deserve anything from me Chas and you know that. Why should I tell him? I don't want Kathleen in my life she's still dead to me and if I tell him it will just bring more stress and pressure for me. Me dad denied Ria was his and that's not going to change. That's why he had her sent to Polly and Ezra because he was convinced she wasn't his."

Chas looked at Ria "and what about you don't you want to see Obadiah?"

"Not really, not yet who knows in the future possibly but right now I'm happy me and Charity have been reunited."

"How do you know for sure? Maybe Kathleen is lying" said Chas.

"You can tell by looking at you you're both Kathleens, the resemblence is visible so why don't you both do a DNA test to know for certain if you're full or half siblings?" Vanessa suggested.

"Yeah I'd be up for that" said Charity and Ria agreed.

"I don't know how you're going to keep it quiet you might be better to tell your dad now before others do."

"We'll go to Wishing Well and speak with uncle Zac. I don't even think he's in contact with me dad..well...our dad anyway."

Ria spoke "why don't you two go on home and I'll catch up with you. I'd like to speak with Chas alone."

Chas shifted uncomfortably. Charity looked at Vanessa then Chas and back to Ria.

"Go on it's okay...there"ll be no problems."

"Chas?" Charity questionned.

Chas looked at her and shrugged to signify that it was okay with her.

Charity and Vanessa stood, they left through the back door not wanting to be questionned by the baying Dingle clan especially if Cain had been filling them in on his side of things. It also gave Ria and Chas the opportunity to talk without being disturbed.

Entering Jacobs Fold they took off their coats. Vanessa stopped Charity, pulled her close and held her. Instantly the tension left Charity's body and Vanessa felt her weight increase on her as she leaned heavily on Vanessa. It was what she had intended, she knew Charity felt pressure from dealing with the Dingles they were hard work at the best of times.

"Thanks babe I didn't know how much I needed that." Said Charity as she broke the embrace.

"It's what I'm here for to support you, love you and make you feel safe"

"I love you so much Ness...I couldn't have faced all of this without you"

"And likewise...I couldn't have faced my health scare without you. That's why we make such a good team and because our love is so strong"

"Hmm and the great sex babe" Charity winked.

Vanessa rolled her eyes and smiled "no time for that Ria might be back soon"

"Exactly" said Charity "might be back soon" emphasising the might "or might not" she pulled Vanessa close again as Vanessa giggled muffled by Charity's kiss.

Vanessa broke the embrace and headed to the kitchen and it was Charity's turn to roll her eyes and smile. Her phone beeped in her pocket and she fished around to take it out.

"It's Ryan he said him and Noah are coming to meet Gypsy but Ryan will follow in his car as there won't be room in Ria's. So we can leave earlier."

"Brilliant...hey I think Noah's really happy about  his new family"

"Yeah he seems to be!"

Around an hour later Ria returned.

"How was it?" Charity asked.

"We talked and I think Chas will be okay with it..with me. There might be some time of proving myself but I'd hope they'll soon see I'm a different person now. I think Cain will be the most difficult."

"Yeah but in fairness he saw how low I'd sunk and he'd brought me through a pretty horrendous detox only months before. He just associates you with it all. It will just take time, I'll talk to him."

"Ryan and Noah are coming with us to meet Gypsy" said Vanessa.

"That's great oh she'll be landed with that."

"They're going to follow in Ryan's car so we can leave earlier. Me, Ness and the boys will go with you."

"Good...I've a feeling Gypsy will want to show you the stock Vanessa so leaving earlier will give time for that and when Ryan and Noah arrive we can go eat."

In the afternoon they collected the boys from school, changed clothes and set out to Westmorland. The drive was pleasant, Vanessa sat in the back with the boys pointing out all the animals in the countryside.

Close to their destination Ria called Gypsy, she'd synced her phone and was on the car speakers.

"Hey where are you?" She asked.

"I'm at Sully's ...he's asking about you" Gypsy whispered and they could hear she was smiling.

"Feck off Gypsy stop stirring, where you meeting us?"

"Appleby at the field, Sully's going to take me over there now...I...er...asked him to join us for food"

"You're feckin dead"

"Ah Ma he's lonely since Lola died...he's a good catch. I think he'd make a nice daddy for me"

"Feck...feck...feck" piped Moses, Vanessa froze while Ria profusely apologised inbetween her annoyance with Gypsy who was clearly enjoying herself.

"I'll call you when I'm 5 mins away and you better be alone"

"Bye Ma" Gypsy giggled.

"She found you a suitor?" Laughed Charity.

"She's just stirring"

"She sounds keen on pairing you two together" said Vanessa.

"Yeah well if she thinks he's that great she can have him"

"Ooooo someones definately touchy"

"Charity I knew him years back, he's always looked out for us. He keeps an eye on our assets in Cumbria. Gypsy has more dealings with him now...he lost his wife 6 years ago and since then Gypsy has been trying to matchmake. The man is grieving and I'm not interested, relationships just end up complicating life"

"You're scared!"

"I'm not scared! I'm happy as I am"

"Well if he's got your kids blessings" said Vanessa nochalantly.

Charity smirked as Ria fell silent.

After a while Ria spoke "we're nearly there"

She called Gypsy again "we're about 5 minutes away"

"Right we'll head there now."

Charity had a notification on her phone.

"It's Ryan, him and Noah have already left."

"That's good" said Vanessa and then she turned her attention back to the boys.

They pulled up beside a range rover and two quad bikes.
A dark haired young woman stood talking with 2 men.

"Ah Ma you made it" Gypsy swept past Ria and straight to Charity "well well my aunt Charity, so good to meet you!" She took Charity's hand and gave it a firm shake before pulling her close for a hug. Charity was unsure what to do.

"For Jeez sake you're a stiff as a bloody aul board" laughed Gypsy, Charity laughed nervously.

"Don't mind her Gypsy we'll teach her right she'll learn to love family hugs"

Vanessa was giggling and extended her open arms to invite Gypsy for a hug.

"You must be Vanessa!" Said Gypsy stepping into Vanessa's embrace and giving her a warm hug "ah that's better...and who are these georgous little munchkins?" She clucked at Moses and Johnny who were now unbuckled and out of the car beside Charity. Johnny hid gripping onto Charity's leg while Moses beamed up at Gypsy and said "feck feck feck" while jumping up and down excitedly.

"Oo you're a cheeky wee imp" Gypsy pinched his cheeks and asked him for a hug which he gladly gave diving into her arms. Johnny peeped from behind Charity's leg as Gypsy looked at him and then produced a small chocolate bar from her pocket.

"You like chocolate?" She asked, Johnny nodded slowly and reached out his hand. She handed him the chocolate bar and smiled, he smiled back.

"You're shy...it's okay to be shy..we will still be friends my little cousin" she said in whispered tones.

Moses reminded her that he too liked chocolate and she went into her pocket again and pulled out another bar. As Moses took it he was confused to find it was an empty wrapper.

"Oh I must have ate it earlier" Gypsy laughed.

"Nooo" Moses giggled tipping his head to one side standing on one leg.

"Check your pocket" she told him.

Moses looked down and Charity opened his pocket for him. He put his hand in and pulled out a chocolate bar with a look of sheer delight and wonder on his face.

"Crackin pickpocket me" she whispered to the others behind her hand.

Charity and Vanessa laughed, she was very entertaining.

Johnny started looking in his own pockets and was in awe as he found a £5 note.

"That's for sweets tomorrow" Gypsy winked at him "for you and Moses"

Johnny surprised them all by stepping towards Gypsy and lifting his arms to her, she hugged him and kissed him on the head and he retreated back to Charity's leg.

Vanessa was impressed but then in the short meeting she was impressed with the warmth that Gypsy excuded.

The older looking man who was quite striking in appearance smiled at Ria shyly.

"Hello Ria"

"Sully it's been a while, how are ya?"

"Doing okay..getting on with life. And yourself?"

"I'm good thanks it's nice to see you again. I haven't seen you since Lola passed she was a good woman."

"She was" he nodded in general at the group.

"Okay let's get to business. Vanessa a have some overalls for ya cos I'm sure you don't want to get mucky for our meal"

"Er..right"

"Don't worry you don't have to stick yer hand up their arses I just want to show you the stock you bein a vet an all that"

Malachy (the young man) opened the gate and Gypsy jumped on one of the quads.

"Hop on"she beckoned Vanessa who was now kitted out in a pair of green overalls.

"Sexy" said Charity.

Malachy jumped on the other quad and they headed off leaving Ria and Charity with the kids and Sully. They sped along the perimeter of the field and came to another gate. Malachy jumped off and opened it letting them through and closing it behind them.

Vanessa was taken by surprise at the vastness of the land as Gypsy showed her all they owned including the horses grazing on it.

"The ones in that first field we passed through they're sold and are going tomorrow. These ones here are ready to be backed. Sully does a lot of the work along with Malachy and his sister. Those others are brood mares she said pointing to a group of cobs. Sully has a stallion he's fathered a few of the foals they're carrying."

They talked shop for a while and some family stuff thrown in before heading back to join the others.

Arriving back at the first gate Vanessa jumped off the quad.

"Wow that's a fair bit of land you have and horses"

Ria smiled "I don't have much to do with it now. Gypsy she runs the show here."

Ryan and Noah were not too far away. Gypsy had booked an indian restraunt in town. After removing their overalls Sully and Malachy took the quads back to the yard leaving the range rover with Gypsy.

"You want to leave the car Ma? I'll take the range rover just swap the kids booster seats. Makes more sense than taking two cars. You can park up at Sully's"

"I'll take this car so we can leave earlyish the kids will be tired."

"Alright follow me. Ness you can ride with me if that's okay?"

"Yeah sure"

Vanessa hopped into the range rover with Gypsy while Charity and Ria followed. Charity text the postcode and name of the restaraunt to Ryan.

"So Vanessa you's live in a village?"

"Yeah it's quite small everyone knows everyone."

"How big's the practice?"

"There's four vets we do domestic pets and also cover the surrounding farms. It's very rural so we cover a large area."

"Many horses?"

"Yeah but not in the village mostly further out. There's only Kim has horses at Home Farm. It used to be a stud farm but she doesn't have many now and just rides for leisure these days."

"Oh...what breed?"

"Thoroughbreds, nice horses but high maintenance."

"Yeah..I prefer the hardy cobs. My plan is to have a riding centre, trekking but also private lessons. I'm a qualified instructor so is Ma."

"Really?"

"Yeah I have a full business plan already, have had for some time"

"So what's stopping you?"

"Location really, where we live is beautiful but it wouldn't do well business wise running a centre there. Too much competition from other establishments with better trails. We're in no rush, it would be very much a family business so everyone needs to be taken into consideration..a family decision really. I'm happy travelling, buying and selling, making contacts and nuturing friendships in the horsey circle."

"Sensible approach...a good name is everything."

"Yeah...how long have you and Charity been together?"

"Just over 3 years"

"I'm glad she's back in Ma's life..it hasn't been easy for her. You know about my Da?"

"Your mum did say..you couldn't go to the funeral."

"I was young, didn't understand why at the time. He was my Da that's what I knew, I didn't understand he had another family and when I found out I struggled for a while thinking we musn't be good enough for him but I understand now. It would have been difficult on Ma but I know he saved her, we knew some of her past and then she shared more when she got the surprise visit from her mum. My da he was a good man he planned for our future, taught me everything about horses, business and left us with a fair sized farm and so much land."

"Charity is really glad to have your mum back in her life and to know they're sisters!"

"Ma's happy...I can tell. We're here."

They parked up outside the restaraunt, Ria pulled up beside them. As they entered Gypsy was greeted by staff like an old friend.

 Gypsy had already ordered a banquet when she booked the table and special orders for the kids to eat. As they were sitting having drinks waiting on the food Ryan and Noah arrived.

"Hey here they are" said Charity standing to introduce them.

Gypsy was already on her feet and swept across to where they stood.

"Hey howya! Nice to meet my cousins..thanks for comin' it's a long enough drive."

"We heard the foods good round these parts" said Ryan.

Gypsy laughed "not the company then?"

"I'll let you know later" Ryan winked.

"Here come sit with me" Gypsy motioned.

Vanessa, Charity and Ria chatted easily. Vanessa commented to Charity "I can't believe how much Noah is interacting! Usually get a few grunts out of him."

Ria laughed "that girl not only kissed the blarney stone she feckin well ate it, she could sell sand to the Arabs and ice to the Eskimos."

Ria and Charity laughed but both found it believable.

"Are the boys as outgoing?"

"Sol is more reserved but the twins they'll pass the time of day with anyone. Gypsy's on her own though she just loves life and people."

"How long is she staying?" Asked Charity.

"She's a flight booked in a few days...I...er..I'm going to have to go back with her...the little ones will be missing me. I've loved being here and meeting up again especially now it's all out in the open but I can't stay although I'd love to."

Charity felt a heaviness at the news Ria would be leaving in a few days. She never expected to feel it but now they had connected again she found she was reluctant to see her go.

Vanessa sensed Charity's slight change of mood. "Hey maybe we could visit you in Ireland!"

A big smile appeared on Ria's face "yeah I'd like that very much."

"We will" said Charity relieved inside of the promise of further contact.

"I'm absolutely stuffed" said Ryan.

"Me too" added Noah.

"Wow we've finally discovered there's a bottom to Noah's stomach" laughed Charity.

"Why don't you come back with us to the village?" Ryan asked Gypsy.

"Ah I have the horses goin tomorrow" Gypsy thought for a moment then turned to Charity "would that be okay if I came back with you. I'd like to see the village and spend more time with you's."

"Yeah that's great isn't it babe"  and Vanessa agreed.

"You can stay in my room if you like..I'll have the sofa"

Charity and Vanessa were shocked 'Er Noah you'll have to make that cave presentable"

"It's not that bad" he replied indignant.

"I can book a room somewhere it's no problem."

"No you will not! Noah can stay at the pub anyway."

"I want to stay at home, I'll have the sofa" he said again.

"The pub?" Asked Gypsy.

"Yeah Charity owns half the village pub." Explained Ria.

"Wow...who's your business partner?"

"My cousin Chas"

"More family to meet woohoo" Gypsy smiled.

"Er you might want to hold that excitement babe. Things are a little tense there."

"I'm not very welcome at the minute." said Ria.

"Oooooh this is the cousin from years back...the teeth thief?"

"That's the one"

"Hm I look forward to meeting her"

"No trouble Gypsy...I don't want you to get involved. It's all in the past and we've agreed to move on. Cain isn't happy and he's been filling in the rest on my past so it's a bit delicate..tread easy."

They all enjoyed the food, so much choice and plenty left over which Gypsy instructed to be boxed up for them to take home.

"Will we get the bill?" Asked Charity.

"It's done...my treat" said Gypsy.

"Wow thanks"

Gypsy called Sully and arranged for him to oversee the horses being collected the next day so she was free to return to Emmerdale with the others.

"Ryan can I travel with you and Noah? I'll need to drop the range rover off. Do you's want to call at Sullys with me?" She asked her mum, Charity and Vanessa.

"The boys are tired, Johnny's getting whingy and Moses is playing up we need to get back really." Said Vanessa looking apologetically to Ria.

"That's fine by me" Ria said.

"Okay we'll follow, meet you back home" said Ryan.

The boys fell asleep on the journey home and it wasn't long before Vanessa joined them.
Charity and Ria chatted.
"You think our dna test kit will arrive before you go?"

"Possibly, they said it should be with us in a few days...perks of paying private eh"

"Do you think Obadiah is your dad?" Asked Charity.

"Don't see why Kathleen would have to lie now, surely if she was unsure she'd say."

"Well she's lied all these years so it's hard to believe anything she says"

" Don't be too hard on her..she must have had her reasons"

"What? Are you defending her?" Charity was slightly annoyed and perplexed.

"No I'm just saying she must have had her reasons whether we agree with them or not. I try not to judge..I had enough of that meself from others, I know you have too."

Charity went quiet for a while before speaking again.

"I don't think I can ever forgive her...none of it would have happened if she hadn't of given you away and left me."

"And what if she kept me and Obadiah hurt me? What if she kept me and stayed and he did kill her in a drunken rage? We don't know Charity, we were just babies...just never say never that's all. I don't particulary want to meet her again or meet Obadiah but the fact is they are our parents whether we like them or not. The wounds of the past are healed in the present and sometimes that means facing people or places we don't like, just take each day as it comes. It's a journey just go with it and don't think too much or you'll over analyze and become full of bitterness and hate. Let go and enjoy what we have now."

Charity sat staring ahead at the road deep in thought finding it extremely difficult to argue her bitterly motivated point with Ria.

"You won't change my mind Ria...she's dead to me, and me dad" Charity scoffed "I never see me dad anyway. He was never a father to me."

Ria smiled.

"What? Why you smiling."

"Oh I don't know..here's us driving along in the dark. Me giving you advice like a wise older sister...I like it Charity...I like it a lot. I never thought I'd have this opportunity to actually play big sister and in a way I'm glad Kathleen came back because if she didn't we wouldn't be doing this now. My kids wouldn't get to know you and believe me Charity I know you'll enrich their lives. They don't know any other family because Paddy's kids won't have anything to do with them and no cousins. So for me to see Gypsy interacting with and enjoying Ryan and Noahs company it makes me happy and I know the boys will be made up 'n all."

"I'm looking forward to meeting them" Charity gave a little laugh. "You know even though I have family in the village and they've looked out for me at times...they've also excommunicated me when it suits or when I've messed up bad. It's like I'm part of them but also on the outside."

"I'll never do that to you...excommunicate you. I might haul you over the coals and give you a bloody good dressing down if you fucked up royally but I'd never excommunicate you. Same goes for the others I'd sort them out no bother and put them in their place defending you. They'll never have power to leave you out in the cold again not while I'm here."

"Thanks...but you won't always be here in the village."

"No but I'm just a phone call away and it takes no time at all to fly over plus you can always come to me."

Charity smiled.

"Do you remember much when we were kids? asked Charity.

"I have some memories of you visiting but we were so young"

"I've spent so much time trying to forget my childhood and most of my adulthood" Charity gave a little laugh.

" Do you remember we went to the beach?"

"Yeaaah...I..remember one time" Charity was excited as she recalled the memory "there was a huge slide and a funfair outside and inside..I remember the bobby horses and we had a net to get crabs...I partly fell in soaked my shoes and dress. That's probably why I remember it!"

"Yeah" Ria laughed and sighed deeply "you remember pledging to be best friends? We were so innocent then, so untouched by the world."

Charity nodded sadly "didn't last long did it"

Ria shook herself out of her wistful reminiscing before their memories took them to their teenage years and the squalid lifestyle they'd fallen into. Their lives took different paths that had crossed again as if there was an invisible force that drew them together. Both of them damaged and broken by the choices of others, surviving life as best they could, two kids in a very adult world.

They travelled again in silence, together, alone in their own thoughts.

After a while Ria spoke "I'm so glad we got another chance"

Charity nodded and smiled "yeah..me too"

The sign Emmerdale came into view and flashed past the car window.

"Do you want to wake up sleeping beauty...we're home."

Charity laughed "Ness, babe we're home..wake up."

Vanessa opened her eyes and yawned as Ria pulled up outside Jacobs Fold. They were all tired and knew that the next few days would be like a whirlwind, the house would be full and the other Dingles would be circling, baying, curious and eager to try and put Ria in the pecking order and assert their own authority and position within the Dingle clan. It was little wonder Charity had lost interest a long time ago in their codes and courts and now....well...she had her own branch of Dingles who would never excommunicate her, never try and put her in a box, never leave her out in the cold again but simply accept who she is. Charity smiled as she started to feel some pride in her name again. She smiled to herself as her inner voice spoke 'I am Charity Dingle and I belong'.

Chapter Text

The boys were carried straight to bed once they entered the house.
Ria put the kettle on for a brew while they waited for Ryan, Noah and Gypsy.

Vanessa was first down the stairs followed by Charity.

"They're both out for the count didn't even wake up!" Said Vanessa.

"I know...bless them both knackered after their exciting day" Charity laughed.

"You sure it's okay Gypsy staying? We could both go to the B&B." Said Ria.

"No! You'll both stay here, it's great to have yous. That reminds me I better sort Noah's room."

Charity disappeared upstairs to do the best she could with Noah's room. It wasn't too bad but there was a distinct smell of boys in the room, she opened the window, changed the bedding and gave a squirt of her perfume before going back downstairs.

"It's clean but stinks of boys in his room, hope she doesn't mind."

"She's grew up with her brothers smells and horse shit...believe me she won't be fussy."

They laughed.

"So" began Vanessa "Gypsy was telling me about her business plan"

"Yeah what's that?" Asked Charity intrigued.

"Trekking/riding centre, she a qualified instructor and you are too" Vanessa said to Ria.

Charity burst out laughing "what! You're a qualified riding instructor? You wouldn't have know the arse from the head of a horse!"

"Well things change Charity. Paddy got me involved in bringing the horses on. There was more money in it selling them on already backed and broken."

Charity looked puzzled but Vanessa understood.

"When Paddy died I was able to keep things going until Gypsy was old enough to take over. Her daddy always drummed it in to plan for the future. She took her exams and pushed me to do the same as she saw potential for a centre in the future. She very much wanted it to be a family business. The boys work the land but Sol is also a skilled blacksmith. Paddy was strict in that sense, he always said the devil makes work for idle hands and he made sure the kids were never idle."

"Wow you sound like a real old farmers wife!"

" I was! Gypsy has a full business plan already, we also have the means to do it. She's just waiting but she won't do it alone it will be a family decision. We're in no rush we don't need to be. Gypsy's hardly home she's all over the place buying/selling, networking. Sol has his forge and the twins they take a lot of contracts from the forestry. Unfortunately it does leave me home alone a fair bit and looking after the grandkids. Shivy (Sols wife) she works in the local bakery a few days a week so she's around and helps on the farm."

"Wow you really have changed" Charity was becoming more intrigued with Ria's life and how far removed from their teenage years it was.

"I told you Paddy saved me from meself, he not only saved me but he showed me a new way of life, gave me four amazing kids and taught them to respect their elders, be hard workers and most importantly the value of family being their for each other. Ironic really considering he had another family" Ria laughed.

"That must have been hard for you" said Vanessa.

"At first I was just grateful that he took me from where I was. I used to get jealous but he was trapped in that loveless marriage, he couldn't walk away completely and in some ways he overcompensated by providing over and above for us knowing that without him we had nothing. That's why he pushed me to learn about the land and the horses. Thankfully when Gypsy came along she was a natural, Paddy used to say she could speak their language and she believed him" Ria chuckled "sometimes I think she still does....don't get me wrong my kids are not angels and I know that, in fact I've had to get them out of many scrapes but their hearts are good all of them."

"You all seem very close" said Vanessa.

"Yeah, many nights by the fireside we've talked through stuff, I make sure we all eat together every evening as a family, we're there for each other."

"That's the way it should be." said Charity wistfully.

They heard a car pull up outside and the unmistakeable voice of Gypsy, Noah and Ryan were laughing at something she probably said.
They entered the house.

"Shush..bloody bell in every tooth you sometimes" Ria aimed at Gypsy "it's late and you'll wake the neighbours and the kids."

"Sorry" she laughed.

"I've sorted Noahs room, there's a duvet and pillow for you Noah."

"Brew anyone?" Asked Vanessa.

"Aye why not." Answered Gypsy.

Ryan stayed a little longer before setting off to drive home promising to text Charity when he got there, the rest of them headed up to bed.

Vanessa lay in Charity's arms her leg draped over Charity's leg and her arm across her waist.

"I really enjoyed today" she said.

"Yeah me too babe."

"I'm so glad the way it has worked out...I mean...a few weeks ago it was like eveything had fallen apart and now..you've got family in your life, Noahs happy, Ryans happy."

"I know" Charity laughed.

She was thoughtful for awhile before speaking again.

"Ria really got herself together...she was in such a state years back but hearing about her life after Paddy took her to Ireland she's been stable for years. Look at me all me kids have different dads, string of failed marriages, ex con and still can't face a problem without reaching for vodka."

"Hey...don't be so hard on yourself. You've overcome so much, Charity I don't think many people who have been through as much as you have would still be functioning. You're amazing and I love you so much, I wouldn't have you any other way. I do wish you could see yourself through my eyes sometimes."

"Love's blind babe" she laughed.

"Stop it, sometimes you've simply got to accept it and start seeing yourself as worthy of love regardless of what you've done or what others have done to you. I.Love.You Charity Dingle...you're it for me and for your information I'm proud to be the one standing beside you journeying through life together."

She covered Charity's lips with her own and kissed her conveying all her emotions in the kiss that Charity was the most precious and desired thing in her world. It was so sweet yet wanton it brough both tears and fire to her as she rolled Vanessa over so she was beneath her. Charity held back, looking down at Vanessa drinking in her beauty with her eyes before crashing her lips on hers with the intention of devouring her slowly, giving herself completely to this tiny blonde rocket woman who rocked her world never mind the other way around!

The next morning they were up bright and early. Noah had already gone for the bus while Charity and Vanessa walked the boys to school together.

"Thought farmers were supposed to be up early" pondered Charity out loud.

"Maybe they're just both tired. I hope they slept ok. Maybe they didn't want to get up while we were getting the boys ready and feel in the way."

"We'll go to see uncle Zac today. I need to tell him not to say anything to me dad. I hope Paddy and Rhona keep their mouths shut about Kathleen. If Zac hears about that he'll surely tell me dad. Chas knows to keep quiet."

"Don't you think you should tell your dad?"

"Babe!"

"I know..sorry...I'm pushing again."

"Come 'ere" Charity put her arm around Vanessa pulling her close "I know you mean well but let me do this in my time. Anyway we need the DNA results back first to confirm if he's Ria's dad. He can't deny it if it's in black n white."

" I'll give you a call before lunch, are you planning lunch out?"

"Not sure yet I'll let you know."

Arriving back at the house both Ria and Gypsy were up.

"Kettle's not long boiled" said Ria "didn't want to get up earlier and disrupt your routine."

"Brew babe" Charity asked Vanessa.

"Aw yeah..then I'll have to get going."

"You working today?" Asked Gypsy.

"Yeah but I might join you for lunch if you're staying local, I'm in the surgery today."

"I'm going out with Ryan this afternoon." Beamed Gypsy.

"Thick as thieves already you pair" smiled Ria.

"We'll have to go up to Wishing Well this morning. I need to talk to uncle Zac about me dad. Gypsy he doesn't know about Kathleen so  please don't mention her. You can meet some of the family."

"Looking forward to it!" Gypsy said excitedly.

"Zac is actually me dads cousin but we all call him uncle except Cain he just calls him Zac even though he's his dad." Charity laughed "Faith had an affair, Cain always thought Shadrach was his dad. It's complicated but you'll get used to the Dales Dingles."

"How do you fancy heading to Liverpool after lunch?" Ria asked Charity.

"A bit of nostalgia eh? Sorry babe I have to pick the boys up."

"I'll ask Tracey to have them, you two can spend some time together." Offered Vanessa.

"Liverpool it is then....are you thinking of visiting Ezra?"

"No not a chance" Ria said rather too quickly "just a trip down memory lane, see some of the old sights. Do you remember going on the ferry?"

"Vaguely...isn't that the day we went to the beach?"

"Yeah...you,me, Polly and Kathleen."

"Yeah them pretending we were cousins but both knowing the truth" Charity scoffed.

"At least they gave us some good memories"

"Right I'm off" said Vanessa "I'll call you after I've spoken to Tracey. Enjoy your day and stay out of trouble." Vanessa laughed as she kissed Charity, waved to the others, picked up her bag and left.

Charity, Ria and Gypsy headed to Wishing Well to speak with Zac.

"Whew the smell of pigs certainly clear the nostrils" laughed Gypsy as they were approaching.

"Doesn't it just...I couldn't bear the stench when I lived here." Charity wrinkled her nose in distaste.

She opened the door and walked in beckoning Ria and Gypsy to follow. Zac was sitting in his chair.

"Ello luv"

"Hey uncle Zac I've brought Ria with me and her daughter Gypsy."

"Ello again luv and er 'ello Gypsy" Zac gave a little laugh "er sit down, sit down. Lydia put kettle on for our guests."

"Uncle Zac I don't know if you're in contact with me dad but I'm asking you don't say anything yet about Ria. We're doing a DNA test  to know for certain if he's Ria's dad. At least if we have the evidence he can't deny it."

"Aye right luv..I don't speak with him infact I don't know any of the family who do. I won't say nothin' to anyone until you find out for sure."

The door opened and Sam walked in, he stopped surprised when he saw them.

"A don't fink Cain will be 'appy if he know's yer 'ere." He shifted uneasy.

"Shut it Sammy." Snapped Charity "it's none of Cain's business. Go and pet your pigs or whatever else you do with them."

Ria just looked at Charity a little surprised by Charity's irritation at Sam. Gypsy affable as ever broke the awkardness.

"Ah they're your pigs, I love pigs, raised a few meself, would you give me a tour?"

"Yeah" said Sam eagerly "I'll show yert pigs, beauties they are."

Gypsy got up and winked at Charity as she left.

Outside Sam started to question Gypsy, she explained she was Ria's daughter and proceeded to turn his attention to his pigs again before subtley questioning him.

"Do you own this cottage and land?" She asked.

"Nah it belongs to Tates up at Home Farm."

"Ah home of the thoroughbred horses."

"Yeah that's right. You've met Kim then?"

"Not yet"

"There's barns up the back there, most of these outbuildings are not used."

"Why?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders.

"Dingles have lived here for years. They tried evicting us few times. Old man Frank before he died and then Joe Tate few years back. They can't get shut of us. Kim's alright wi me I worked at Home Farm but mostly me n me dad poach there." Sam laughed.

"What's over that way?"

"Holdgate that's where the Sharma's live. Manpreets a doctor, Jai her stepson is a business partner of Kim they own the HOP which is outdoor pursuits, that's over that way." Sam pointed in the direction of the HOP.

"Outdoor pursuits? Very upmarket indeed..much business?"

"S'alright. They do kayaking, quad biking a fink..should tell yer on web."

"What's the name?"

"Hawksford outdoor pursuits but we call it the HOP."

"Your pigs are in fine shape Sammy you look after them well"

Sam beamed with pride and had soon forgotten his initial hostility as Gypsy fascinated him with stories of horse fairs and their farm back home. As they made their way back into the cottage Sam was practically falling over himself to open the door for Gypsy and show hospitality.

"Sammy's pigs are in great shape, he's a man who knows his pigs like I know my horses"

Charity rolled her eyes.

"It's not easy raising pigs" Gypsy continued and then turned her attention to the tea and cakes Lydia had made "is that cake home made?" As she took as slice and made very appreciative noises as she chewed it.

"Yeah" said Lydia proudly "I baked it meself"

"Oh my goodness it's delicious. Must be a secret recipe!"

"It's a cake" said Charity.

"And when did you last bake a cake?" Asked Ria.

"Er there's no need to when you can buy them"

"Some of us like the personal touch Charity it makes me happy to see people enjoy something I put a lot of effort into." Said Lydia.

"And it's much appreciated Lydia" said Zac loudly before a spat could escalate.

"Right we need to get back Gypsy's meeting Ryan."

"Ok luv and er..Ria welcome to the family. Don't mind Cain I'll have a word. You too Gypsy you're welcome 'ere."

"You'll 'ave to drink from the welly later it's a tradition" laughed Sam.

 "oh an initiation" said Gypsy.

Sam looked puzzled.

"Come on then let's go" Charitys said as she stood up.

"See yous later at the Wooly" said Zac "we'll be there with the welly" he laughed heartily.

They decided on lunch at the Woolpack so Vanessa could join them.
As they entered the pub and took a table Cain was scowling at the bar with Chas at the other side looking slightly uncomfortable.

"What's she doin' 'ere?" he growled.

"Leave it Cain...she's Charity's sister, nothing you can do about it so you'd better get used to it"

Ria walked to the bar and called Gypsy over, she looked at Chas and said "Chas this is my daughter Gypsy."

Cain scoffed and took a drink from his pint.

Chas smiled awkwardly.

"Nice to meet you Chas and you must be Cain" smiled Gypsy.

"Good guess" he muttered into his pint.

"It was the scowl gave you away" Gypsy winked and smiled turning away and going back to their table.

Vanessa joined them and lunch passed without any further incident much to the disappointment of the other villagers who had been ready for some entertainment to fuel the gossip mill. The tension was palpable but it seemed Cain had agreed to a stand off for now.

Tracey had agreed to have the boys after school so Charity and Ria we free to take their trip down memory lane while Gypsy spent the afternoon with Ryan.

"Okay see you later, I'll eat with Tracey and the boys, Noah can join us if he likes or he might want to go to Wishing Well or eat here at the Wooly it's up to him and I'll see yous later." She kissed Charity and headed back to the surgery as the others went back to Jacob's Fold to prepare.

"Gypsy we're off just pull the door behind you and don't get my boy in trouble"

"Sure I'd be more worried about you pair together than me and Ryan" Gypsy laughed.

The drive was pleasant and passed quickly.

"Let's go on the ferry" said Ria "it's a bloody bugger to park round the pier head. We can drive to Woodside and get the ferry across to Liverpool then when we come back we can go to the beach where the fair used to be."

"You still know it well"

"Not really I grew up here didn't I, I'm sure it's changed a lot."

They managed to find parking and Ria bought tickets for the ferry, the wait wasn't long and they boarded choosing to sit on the outer deck upstairs.

"Bloody 'ell the old boats haven't changed just a lick of paint." Said Ria.

"I can't believe I agreed to this I'm freezing me nips off already" moaned Charity.

Ria ignored her moaning and was lost deep in thought. They sat in silence for a while before Ria spoke.

"Do you want to know the real reason I ran...I mean it was bad enough Jude abusing me but something else happened"

Charity looked at Ria "what?"

"It had been going on for months, I was grieving for Polly. Then when I told Ezra what Jude had been doin he shouted at me making me feel like it was my fault and told me to stop making trouble and that Jude had lost his mum so I should be good to him. A few nights after I told him I was in bed shittin' meself listening for the door waiting to see if he was coming in for me and...I heard the door open, pretended to be asleep as usual though it never stopped him. I felt him standing over me but I was scared to open my eyes...I knew it wasn't Jude. I could smell him, his body odour, the whisky and I could hear him breathing...it was Ezra. He didn't touch me but his breathing was different...I didn't understand too much then but I knew not to move. Now I know he was aroused, he sat on the bed, had a wank, then he cried. I knew I had to run away because next time he might just do what Jude had been doin, he was a mess after Pol died."

"Ria" Charity breathed and instinctively put her arm around her sister pulling her close to rest her head on her shoulder.

Silence clothed them as they sat on the ferry ploughing through the murky brown waters towards the Liverpool waterfront.

"Neither of us had the best start did we" Charity sighed.

"No but you know what?" Ria said as she lifted her head.

"What?"

"We're heading towards a bloody good ending"

They both laughed, both had been blessed with a resilience, an ability to bounce back and their ability to laugh had been their strength in the most horrific situations. Both knew that their laughter hid the complex hurt that would always be there but that was neatly locked away compartmentalised in the deep recesses of their hearts only to be opened when they gave themselves permission.
At times others could accuse them of not being serious enough or treating everything as a joke but they knew different.

"Come on we're docking"

They jumped up, went down the stairs and stood in the queue to disembark.

They left the Strand and headed through town up past the bombed out church and towards the old cathedral.

"This was were I learnt the ropes around Canning, hated it...a was full of shame but I needed to eat. Was picked up by a madam so I had a place to stay but worked twice as hard to earn my keep. One of the girls introduced me to heroin and that was it...took drugs to help me cope with sex work and needed to keep sex working to fund me habit..I was trapped. Going to Bradford was my attempt at what I now know to be a geographical escape" she laughed "but meself followed me and I was just the same in Bradford"

"But it was fate you ended up there because we met again."

"Maybe fate would have been kinder if we hadn't."

"What?"

"Charity I was the one who introduced you to heroin...and..and it messed you up so much more. Then robbed your stuff to go and score while you were so low death was the better option for you."

"It wasn't just that...I'd lost Debs and then been held by Bails for him and his mates to do as they please and I thought Ryan died. I was already messed up! As for introducing me to drugs you probably done me a favour"

"What?"

"I was already drinking heavily, how long at that
 rate do you think my liver would have held up without long term damage or failure. I just swapped one addiction for another, I needed something to help me get through."

"You could have died that night and I hate myself for that...I wasn't there for you."

"But I didn't die, I'm still here and..and meeting you back then..it...it...was so good for me. I was so alone and when I found you in Bradford I wasn't alone anymore."

"I'll make it up to you you know" Ria smiled.

"There's nothing to make up."

"Let's go to Paddy's wigwam" said Ria.

Charity laughed "Paddy's wigwam?"

"Yeah the new cathedral the catholic one."

Charity linked Ria as they walked along smiling together.

"Vanessa makes you happy...I'm so glad you found someone like her."

The smile on Charity's face said more than she ever could express "yeah she does...I always married or was in relationships for financial security. I never wanted to be hungry or on the streets again I'd never truly loved. When Ness came along it was so unexpected" she laughed "but the more I got to know her I just knew she was it for me. I didn't fall for anything she had but I fell for her and she was the first person I've ever trusted. I could be me with her and weirdly she still loves me. I hit gold there and I want her by my side for the rest of my life"

"A love like that is to be treasured Charity"

"I know. Would you like to meet someone again?"

"I was happy enough with my kids and being busy with the farm. Now the kids have grown maybe it would be alright to meet someone but it's not important. I have you now, Vanessa, Ryan, Noah,Johnny and Moses..and Debs too but I haven't met her properly yet. I'm happy....you want to get the ferry back or the train?"

"How far's the train from where we parked?"

"Not far 5 mins"

"Let's get the train."

After lighting a candle in Paddy's wigwam they headed back down to Central station and in no time were back on the Wirral walking to the car.

"Shall we skip the beach visit? It's getting late and I think I've seen enough"

"I don't mind...if you want to drive by we can or we can just head back now"

"Let's go back"

Charity text Vanessa to say they were on their way back.

Vanessa's phone chimed with a text notification, she lifted it off the table and opened the message smiling.

"Charity?" Asked Tracey.

"Yeah they're on their way back."

"So how's it going then with more Dingle's in your life?" Probed Tracey.

"It's really great, Charity's so happy"

"And when Charity's happy Vanessa's happy"

"Tracey it's not like that, I wish you wouldn't be so hard on her. In fact I've been meaning to tell you. I had a health scare recently...I'm fine I picked up a parasite probably through work and thought the cancer might be back"

"Veeee" Tracey squealed "why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to worry you, I didn't want a fuss I just needed to know what we were dealing with."

"So when you were looking like shit you weren't well?"

Vanessa nodded.

"I thought you were worried about Charity...I heard she was drinking again"

"She did relapse but there's been so much going on that you don't know about Trace..Charity was amazing when I was so scared...that day you had a go at her she was worried about me as well as dealing with stuff herself"

"I had no idea Vee"

"No you didn't and that's exactly why I wish you wouldn't judge her so much. Everyone is so quick to judge her when they know nothing about her, just because she doesn't go broadcasting stuff doesn't mean she's not going through it. Sometimes I wish people could know her like I do she's incredible and I want you to think about that next time you want to have a go at her. She carries so much on her shoulders and yet says very little about it."

"Sorry" Tracey looked sheepish.

"Anyway it's done now and I'm fine. Usually symptoms wouldn't show but because of the chemo my immune system is weak and my body couldn't fight it naturally. I had meds and it's fine now.

"Does that mean I have to apologise to Charity?"

"I'll leave that up to you but it would be nice"

 'Thanks for having the boys Trace. I'll get them home now so they're settled before everyone arrives home."

"No worries Vee...look I am sorry for accusing Charity." Traceys face looked truly apologetic.

"It's not me you need to be apologising to" Vanessa hugged her sister and made the walk to Jacob's Fold with Johnny and Moses.

On the way she saw Chas who was out for a walk with Eve.

"Hiya love, getting some fresh air with this one"

"How are you?"

"Yeah I'm okay, Charity not about?"

"No she's out with Ria"

"Lot's of catching up to do I suppose."

"Yeah...listen Chas. Thanks for making the effort with Ria..I know things were bad in the past but from what I've seen she's a good person and Charity is happy she has a sister."

"I always thought she'd be there..I know we've had our moments, fought like cat and dog physically as well as verbally and yeah I have turned my back on her but we always make up. She was like my sister I suppose and I'm missing her the snarky cow."

"Chas" Vanessa said with such sincerity "she thinks of you as a sister too and that's not going to change."

Chas gave a weak half smile and spoke defeatedly "yeah but she's got Ria now"

Vanessa rubbed Chas's arm in a kind gesture of empathy.

"Chas she'll always want you in her life no matter how much you's fight and under these different circumstances maybe you'll gain another sister like/cousin/family member in Ria" Vanessa smiled.

"Oh I wouldn't go that far love I don't think me and Ria will be close after what happened."

"Never say never Chas, she might surprise you!"

"Bye love"

"Bye..come on boys let's get you home."

Vanessa was home before the others, she bathed the boys and changed them into their pyjamas. Noah was going to watch them while Charity and Vanessa went to the wooly with Ria and Gypsy.
 The boys were sitting playing with their cars when Gypsy and Ryan arrived. Both jumped up excitedly and ran towards them.

"Hey my little munchies! Hmm let's sit down and have some fun together." Gypsy pulled out two paw patrol sticker activity books.

Johnny and Moses had smiles from ear to ear as they lay on the floor flicking through their new books.

"Aw that's kind of you, how was your day?" Vanessa asked.

"Well this one had me all round Hotten trying to show me the best live music venues except they were all metal."

"Yeah and so Gypsy ended up finding a bloody Irish bar and we spent the rest of the afternoon there...had to leave the car and get a taxi. Hope there's room here for one more tonight." Ryan slurred obviously slightly worse for wear.

"Ah you loved it Ryan tapping away with your foot to the music."

"That was a twitch..I have a condition you know."

"Yeah feckin cheekyitis."

"She can really sing you know" he said to Vanessa.

Vanessa was giggling at their interaction. "Really..you sing?"

"Only in sessions in the pub or parties at home. It's a tradition in Ireland everyone has at least one signature song and does a turn."

Ryan was slumped on the sofa, Gypsy was laying on the floor sticking stickers in the activity books with the boys chatting away.

The door opened Charity and Ria walked in. Charity spotted Ryan and looked at Vanessa who shrugged, Charity looked at Gypsy.

"What have you done to my boy!"

"Ah he's fine we were in the Irish bar all afternoon" she laughed "he's a bit of a lightweight" she whispered.

"We need to make room for one more" laughed Vanessa pointing at Ryan.

"Where's his car?"

"In Hotten we had to leave it and get a taxi."

Moses and Johnny were hanging off Charity trying to show her their sticker books.

"Wow where did you get those?"

"Gypsy" they chorused.

"How was Liverpool?" Vanessa asked.

"Yeah was good" was all Charity offered.

That evening once the boys were in bed they were ready to head over to the pub.

"Noah don't play online with your headphones on you need to listen for your brothers."

Noah rolled his eyes "I know I know...I have looked after them before."

Ryan had woken up with a sore head but ready to roll again even though Charity had nagged him about drinking too much in the afternoon.

The rest of the Dingles were already in the pub and the welly placed proudly on the bar. Cain was absent but they hadn't expected him to show.

Ria had a drop of guiness from the welly, not the ideal way to drink a guiness she thought but she went along with it anyhow, Gypsy downed the remainder and Zac was thrilled to have inducted two new Dingles in the Dales.

They returned home early for the night after the long day. Ryan had decided to sleep at the Wooly rather than squash on the sofa with Noah.

Cuddled up in bed Charity smoothed Vanessa's hair "so" began Vanessa "how did your trip to Liverpool really go?"

"It was good Ness, good to spend time together. We talked and that was good but some difficult stuff. Obviously Ria visited some of her old haunts but overall it was nice to bond again."

"You okay?"

"Yeah...I am. Ria's coming to Hotten with me tomorrow. We're going to the recovery centre for a meeting, I'll introduce her to Nikki and some of the girls."

"That's good. I'm out on calls tomorrow Gypsy has asked to tag along, I don't mind she's easy company."

"Night babes"

"Night"

They kissed, Charity turned on her side as Vanessa snuggled closer spooning her.

Next day Charity and Ria went into Hotten to the centre. Ria was impressed with the facilities and range of projects. They had lunch with Nikki then on to some retail therapy.
Ria was looking for gifts to take back for the grandkids, Charity also bought gifts for them to send with Ria. She felt strange inside knowing that tomorrow Ria would leave for Ireland, it had only been a week but in that week Charity had gotten used to having her around and was unsure how she really felt about her going.

They ended the day in the Woolpack again saying farewells to the family. It hadn't escaped Charity's attention that Ria spent some time chatting with Chas, she was glad the tension appeared to be subsiding. Again Cain was nowhere to be seen as if conducting his own little boycott.

Going back to Jacobs Fold Ria and Gypsy packed their bags, the flight was early and they would be leaving at 7am so it was early nights all round.

Closing the bedroom door and climbing into bed next to a noticably quiet Charity, Vanessa knew she was apprehensive about the morning coming.

"Hey you okay?"

"Yeah...feel a bit weird"

"Weird how?"

"Don't know...there's something in the pit of my stomach"

"You will miss her Charity but she's just across the water. You can fly there in less than an hour and I'm sure she'll be back here to visit."

Charity made a hmm noise "night babe"

Vanessa sighed "night" and pulled Charity closer.

Morning came quickly, they had set the alarm for 6am. Vanessa got up and started making bacon butties. The smell woke Noah, he rolled up the duvet and set it on the floor in the corner of the room.

Charity brought the boys down in their pyjamas as it was Saturday and there was no school. Johnny and Moses were still sleepy but they wanted to give Ria and Gypsy the opportunity to say bye to the boys.

They could hear the shower running upstairs as Ria and Gypsy prepared.

Gypsy appeared first with their bags and took them straight out to the car before coming back in and sitting down with Moses and Johnny.

"You all set?" Asked Vanessa.

"Yeah as soon as Ma's ready we'll be off. I'll be back over next month there's a 2 day horse fair on. It's down south so I'll not be uo this way but Ryan said he'd come and join us."

"Ryan? It's not really suitable muddy fields and crowds, how's he going to manage?" Asked Charity.

"Ah he'll be fine, the lads will give him a piggy back if the grounds too bad."

Charity stored this information away intending to talk to Ryan about it.

Ria came downstairs and they sat and had breakfast. Once the dishes were cleared it was time to say goodbye.

"Okay" said Gypsy "Iet's make a move."

Gypsy walked to Charity and gave her a hug "well that's a big improvement in your hug than the first day I met you."

Charity laughed, Gypsy continued to embrace the others.

"See yous again soon and thanks for everything"
Gypsy walked to the door.

 Ria hugged Vanessa "bye Vanessa..look after her for me yeah." Vanessa nodded.

She turned to Noah, hugged him and slipped a couple of notes in his hand.
She then kissed Johnny and Moses telling them to be good and when they visit her in Ireland she will let the tooth fairy know they're coming.
Finally she turned to Charity "bye..thanks for giving me a chance and for inviting us into your home, your family." Ria reached out and embraced her pulling her close "I'll come back and please come and visit us. Keep in touch."

Charity nodded and whispered "I will"

Ria turned and walked out the door. As they got in the car Charity, Vanessa, Noah, Moses and Johnny were at the door. A figure walked across the road, it was Chas. She looked at the car and raised her hand with a slight smile. Ria returned the gesture, turned the key gave a toot on the horn and drove off. They stood at the door watching until the car was out of sight.

Charity looked at Chas who was now walking through the gate "bacon butty?" She asked.

"Oo don't mind if I do"

Vanessa lingered a moment in the doorway and smiled to herself as a plan began to form in her mind.

Chapter Text

It had been a few days since their guests had left, Jacobs Fold was quiet and so too was Charity, Vanessa had noticed when she came home from work each evening, she had hoped it would pass as they settled back into their routine but the light, laughter and life seemed to have also been packed in suitcases and flown across the sea.

Entering Jacob's Fold she walked towards Charity who was at the sink with her back to Vanessa.
Vanessa reached her arms around her waist and pressed her body into Charity's back. Charity stopped what she was doing and stared out of the window before slowly turning to face Vanessa and rest her forehead on her shoulder leaning her weight on Vanessa as if the weight of her sadness was too much to carry alone.

"Feels weird" she said.

"Yep"

Charity suddenly lifted her head and pulled away from their embrace "You ready to eat?"

Vanessa could almost hear the clanging of the invisible armour as Charity put it on and covered her feelings underneath.

"Charity...it's okay to feel sad"

"I'm fine babe, foods ready"

"Okay" Vanessa knew not to probe further, it could wait until later, she started washing her hands as Charity plated their food and carried it to the table.

"How was your day?" she asked Vanessa.

"Average day really. No emergencies, quiet really. I was waiting for the day to end so I could come home to you." She reached across and touched Charity's hand.

Charity smiled.

"Have the boys been good today?" Asked Vanessa.

"Yeah. Picked them up from school, went to the park for an hour and then home. They played with their sticker books Gypsy bought them."

"You want to watch a movie when the boys are in bed?"

"Not really in a movie mood babe"

"That's never stopped you before..always falling asleep in the first 10 minutes." Vanessa laughed.

"True....okay"

Charity knew Vanessa was trying to lift her spirits but she just couldn't shake off the heaviness and neither could she honestly figure out why.

"I'm covering a shift tomorrow, Chas is on her own and has asked me can I help out. It's not often so I said I would"

"Tomorrow night?"

"Yeah is that okay?"

"Yeah...hey we can ask Noah to watch the boys and I'll come over when they're in bed and keep you company, it'll be nice to catch up with Rhona too."

"Babe you don't have to, I'll be fine I'm working with Chas and I don't have any desire to drink. I wouldn't do the shift if I did. You don't have to keep an eye on me."

"I don't want to keep an eye on you Charity I just thought it would be nice."

They cleared the plates, washed up and spent time playing with the boys before their nightly bedtime routine.

Cuddled up on the sofa Vanessa picked a movie as Charity couldn't find one that she thought sounded interesting.

Vanessa lay back propped up on cushions, Charity lay between her legs her back resting against Vanessa's chest while Vanessa idly played with her hair.

"Have you spoken to Ria today?"

"She messaged earlier, asking how we all were."

"That's nice, how's she doing?"

"Enjoying spending time with her grandkids."

"How's Gypsy?"

"She's not home she's away on her travels goodness knows where Ria said." Charity laughed.

"When's she back over here?"

"Few weeks. I'm worried about Ryan"

Vanessa laughed "he'll be fine"

"He's not used to tearing around muddy fields with drunken travellers and farmers. He thinks it's great but it might be too much for him."

"Charity he's a young man capable of making his own decisions and Gypsy wouldn't let him come to harm. I'm sure there'll be lots of carry on but he has fun when he's with her."

"Hmm"

Sure enough as Vanessa predicted Charity dropped off to sleep during the movie, Vanessa was slightly uncomfortable as her weight increased the deeper her sleep became but she kept her there as long as she could before shifting position.

As the end credits rolled she gently woke her.

"Aw that was a good movie"

"Yeah babe good choice" as Charity tried to kid on that she had watched it.

 Vanessa chuckled "come on let's get to bed"

The next evening Vanessa was sat in a booth with Rhona enjoying a catch up while keeping an eye out for Charity. She hated that  trust was still an issue but once it's broken it has to be built up again, both her and Charity were aware of it. She knew Charity was feeling down and simply wanted to be there to support her if she felt weak.

Charity sighed, she wasn't really in the mood to be doing a stint behind the bar but played the part changing between smiling, small talk and throwing her caustic wit.

Cain swaggered up to the bar "pint please Chas.
New family buggered off already then?" He taunted Charity.

"Fuck off Cain"

"Ey that's no way to speak to your customers"

"Leave it Cain" warned Chas.

"Surprised you trusting her behind there..from what I hear you've already been on the sauce, no surprise there though as soon as the other whore appears back on the scene"

Charity quick as lighting grabbed his pint and threw it over him. The pub when quiet as all eyes were on them. Vanessa jumped up and rounded the bar "Charity come on" taking her hand and leading her in the back.

"You asked for that" said Chas to Cain.

"Oh yeah forgot you're Ria's best mate n all now"

"Why do you keep living in the past?"

"Leopards don't change their spots Chas"

"You need to go and resolve some of your own issues at least she's trying"

"Yeah thanks for your support sis" he scoffed.

 He turned and walked out the door as people carried on with their conversations after the interruption.

In the back room Charity stood with her fists resting on the table, her head down trying to calm herself.

"Charity don't let him get to you, rise above it."

"It's always the same Ness he never let's me forget and how does he know about my relapse?"

"I don't know"

"Who else knows?"

"Charity I don't know."

Vanessa stood behind her giving her space to compose herself.

"Do you want to go home?" She asked.

"No I'll be fine" she sniffled.

"Look you don't have to put yourself through this...if you're struggling it's okay to say. I'm sure Chas can manage the last hour or so."

"I'm fine Ness"

"Come here" Vanessa opened her arms and Charity sunk into her embrace.

"I'd kill for a vodka right now"

"I know that's why I'm here"

"I wouldn't do it Ness but it's there in me head. I just miss what we had last week"

"I know" Vanessa held onto her.

Charity straightened herself and pulled on her armour again "I'm okay babe, will you stay until closing and we can walk home together."

"Course and don't pay any attention to Cain."

Charity laughed "he's probably gone home to dry off anyway"

They went back out to the bar, Charity resumed her duties while Vanessa sat back down with Rhona.

"Gosh Ness how on earth did you tame her?" Asked Rhona.

"I didn't...I just loved her and I keep loving her" said Vanessa as she gazed lovingly at Charity.

Two weeks passed and things had settled back to normal. Charity's mood had seemed to lighten, she'd been going to her meetings in Hotten regular and Vanessa was back full on at work.

Charity had dropped the boys off at school, when she arrived home the post was lying on the floor. She scooped it up flicking through looking at the envelopes. The DNA results had arrived.
She flicked on the kettle to boil, made a brew, got her ipad and sat down. She video called Ria who answered after a few rings.

"Hey Charity how's things?"

"Good yeah...the results are back."

"Hang on let me go inside. I was mixing the feeds there. Let me call you back I'll wash my hands and make a brew."

"Don't be long"

"I won't"

Charity ended the call and sat staring at the envelope in front of her.

Her ipad lit up and she answered Ria's call.

"Okay I'm comfy let's do this" Ria laughed.

Charity slowly opened the envelope, took out the contents and read.

"Well?" Said Ria.

"It's confirmed...full siblings" Charity laughed in relief.

"So old Obadiah can't deny it now can he! It makes no difference I'm not bothered about him but it's nice to know we're full siblings. Next time I'm over we could go and see him if you want?"

"Next time? You're coming over again? When?"

"I don't know but I will come again. You should come here, meet the boys, see the farm. Moses and Johnny will love it."

"Yeah maybe summer"

"Gypsy's looking forward to next week meeting up with Ryan at the horse fair"

"Hm I a bit worried about that actually"

"Charity Gypsy's made up she has family, her and Ryan are like peas in a pod you should hear them on video calls they take the piss out of each other no end. She's never had family like that it's only been us, no cousins. Paddys kids don't want to know them and we had no contact with any Dingles until now. She's well liked, well respected and her friends will look out for her and her family"

"I hope so"

"I know so!"

"Okay speak again soon"

"Yeah will do bye"

Charity finished off her brew which was practically cold. She was happy with the results proving they were full siblings and got up to see to the laundry with an extra spring in her step.

That evening she showed Vanessa the results.

"Well well full siblings wow that's amazing Charity. If Kathleen hadn't of come back you'd never have known."

"Yeah well I still don't want to go there, she abandoned us both. I'm happy without her."

The next week Vanessa was working in the surgery when she recieved a call from a very irrate Charity. She had in fact recieved a number of calls before picking up thinking it must be urgent.

"Woah what's up slow down"

"Slow down...have you seen the photo's?" She screeched.

"What photo's?"

"Ryan's facebook"

"No I haven't been looking at facebook I'm working."

"Check them Ness"

"Charity calm down I'll be home soon. Is he okay?"

"Oh he seems to think he is...rolling around in the mud"

"What?"

"Exactly Vanessa"

"Charity I'm working, I'll be home soon just calm down"

"He's not answering his phone. I've had Irene chewing me ear off..cause oh yeah he answered her call. She tried speaking to him but all she got was him singing about one summer evening drunk to hell and brown eyes..she blamed me!"

"Charity I've got to go I'll be there soon..bye...bye" she cut off the call and looked sheepishly at Paddy and Rhona. They had been mid discussions about a possible outbreak of strangles at Veronica's stud farm.

"Problems?" Asked Rhona.

"It can wait"

"Go go on I'll update when the test results are back. If it's positive we know we're dealing with a highly infectious disease and the procedures in place. If negative it's more tests. Go on" Paddy grumbled.

"Thanks" still sheepish Vanessa left knowing she was going to be hit with both barrels when she got home.

Sure enough Charity couldn't sit still while ranting about the pictures.
Vanessa looked and had to conceal her laughter. There were pictures of Ryan on the back of a burly looking young man with more hair than a bearded collie, then flat on his face in the mud with the bearded collie in a heap beside him. Several pictures of him and Gypsy, Ryan with a dopey smile very obviously 3 sheets to the wind.

"Well...he looks like he's having fun" she said almost apologetically.

"Having fun! On the back of some hairy arsed farmer, being thrown in the mud!"

"He's smiling Charity and enjoying himself"

"Yeah well I've had Irene down me ear, blaming me for turning him into a drunk and lolling about in the mud like a pig in shit! "

"Irene said that?"

"Actually she said mud but same thing"

Vanessa took Charity's hands "he's a grown man, he makes his own decisions, you owe no explanation to Irene. I know you want her to think you're a good enough person in his life and the truth is Charity..you are. He is responsible for himself he's not a child and he's having a whale of a time with his cousin while you're fretting over nothing.
Look at him he's totally having the time of his life meeting new friends and he's probably drinking too much but so do many young single persons partying."

Charity started to calm down seeing things in a different perspective. They looked again together at the photo's and Charity saw the funny side but refrained from commenting to save inflaming Irene's wrath.

Cuddled up in bed that night Charity lay in Vanessa's arms, Vanessa played with her hair twirling the curls around her finger.

"How about we take a break and go to Ireland, maybe a long weekend?" Vanessa put it out there to gauge Charity's reaction.

Charity lifted her head and Vanessa caught a light in her eyes "yeah? Seriously?"

"Why not, it will be nice to meet the rest of the family and see where they live."

"Well...when?"

"When the kids are off, I'll book the days off tomorrow. Once they're confirmed we can book. Leave it to me."

Charity beamed and pulled Vanessa closer.

"I love you so much Ness"

"And I love you too Charity Dingle"

Vanessa smiled to herself, she knew this holiday would mean so much to Charity.

The next day she booked her time off to coincide with school holidays just over 2 months away. She called Ria and told her of the plans and to ensure the dates were okay for them but to act surprised when Charity called her. Ria said there was no need to bring the car as they had plenty of vehicles and they could borrow one of their cars, she would sort the insurance. Vanessa was glad of the info as it ruled out getting the ferry across and they could book flights asap.
She decided tonight they will look for flights as she knew this would give Charity a good lift in her spirits.

Arriving home that evening Charity had cooked a lasagne to surprise Vanessa, it was a little dry but Vanessa said it was delicious and enjoyed Charity's proud smile as she mmm'd while eating it.

"So I booked a week off for August when the boys are off. I thought we could book flights tonight!"

"Yeah? We might need the car babe shouldn't we go on the ferry? At least we can throw everything in the car."

"Didn't Ria say someone would collect us from the airport? We mightn't need the car if they have cars, flying would be quicker"

"Maybe I should call Ria"

"It's up to you but I'm sure Gypsy said to me when they were here that they have plenty of vehicles and we could use theirs."

"I'll call Ria just in case"

Charity went to call Ria while Vanessa searched flights on the laptop.

"She's excited" Charity said when she returned.

"Oh? Was she surprised?"

"Oh yeah she said she didn't think we'd be over so soon and she's really looking forward to us coming."

"That's good" Vanessa smiled inwardly "What about Noah and Ryan do you think they'll want to come?"

"I'll ask them" Charity shouted up the stairs "Noah.."

He didn't answer.

"Probably got them bloody headphones on again. I'll nip up babe"

Charity went up to speak to Noah, she came back down "Noah said he's fine staying here. He doesn't fancy staying on a farm in the middle of nowhere for a week. I really thought he'd come with us." Charity seemed sad.

"It's his age Charity he probably doesn't want to go on holiday with his mums and little brothers"

"I'll call Ryan"

Charity scrolled through her phone and pressed call.

"Hey Ryan"

"Hey you okay?"

"Yeah babe...guess what?"

"Oh don't make me guess...what's happened?"

"Spoil sport" she scoffed "me and Ness are going to Ireland to visit Ria and the gang."

"Oh nice"

"Yeah isn't it! You coming with us? We're looking at flights now"

"I haven't got the holidays with work. I'm saving my days"

"Babe don't you want to go over and see Gypsy?"

"Saw her last week"

"Well yeah I'm well aware of that..seen any more of your hairy arsed friend?"

"Mum I don't know if he's got a hairy arse and more to the point how do you know he has? Should Ness be worried?

"Cheeky, so it's just me Ness and the boys."

"Looks like it..say hi from me though and maybe next time"

"Bye"

"See ya"

Charity hung up "looks like it's just us an the rugrats babe. I thought they'd be excited and want to go with us" she said disappointed.

"They've got their own lives, probably they'll prefer to go together sometime without us"

Charity brushed off the disappointment and joined Vanessa looking at flights.

An hour later and they were all booked Charity called Ria and gave her the news. Ria was thrilled Charity would meet her boys and see the farm, she was looking forward to spending time together again.

Before they knew it the time had passed and in a few days time they would be flying across to Ireland. The boys were so excited to be going on an aeroplane and to see Ria and Gypsy.

The night before they were due to leave it was difficult to get the boys to sleep they were so hyped up.
Vanessa volunteered to do the packing while Charity managed the boys. She was secretly glad to be left to pack as she would only have to unpack Charity's and repack again in order to optimise space in their cases.
Vanessa smiled to herself as she could hear Charity becoming more impatient with Johnny and Moses who showed no signs of sleeping.
She thought about the coming holiday and how much planning she had put in to make it perfect. Vanessa was looking forward to being able to relax and enjoy the coming week but first she needed to go and give Charity a hand with two excitable little boys.

She finally finished the last case, closed it and placed it on the floor next to the others, went out onto the landing and into the boys room.

"Right what's going on here then?"

Both boys squealed, Johnny rolled on the bed kicking his feet up in the air as Moses laughed at him.

"I've just had the pilot of the aeroplane on the phone" Vanessa continued "he said to make sure mummy Charity and me put you to bed early because you are not allowed to fly if you haven't been to bed."

Both boys grinned at her showing a hint of suspicion but not really sure. Charity was sure if she had said it they would have laughed and carried on being naughty but they somehow believed Vanessa.

"That's why mummy Charity and me are going to bed as soon as we know you're asleep because we really want to fly tomorrow."

They both jumped into their beds and settled down eager to please mummy Ness so she could call the pilot back and tell him they were sleeping.

"I don't want to hear any sound coming from this room or I shall have to tell the pilot okay?"

They nodded closing their eyes. Charity and Vanessa kissed them both and stood outside their door. Sure enough they heard Moses giggling and whispering.

"We can hear you Moz" said Charity.

Vanessa pretended to call the pilot "erm hello is that the pilot for the aeroplane to Ireland? I'm sorry but Moses and Johnny are still awake..."

Moses let out a whinge. Johnny was silent.

"He said go to sleep now this is your last chance"

The boys room went silent as Charity and Vanessa stifled their own giggles outside the door. They stood there for a while making sure that there was no further sounds and then crept into their own bedroom whispering.

"Oh babe telling porkies to the boys!"

"It worked didn't it? Otherwise they'd be up all night little beggers"

Charity laughed and pulled Vanessa close "hmm I think we should go to bed early as well babe don't want to be naughty and upset the pilot"

Vanessa laughed as their mouths met " I quite fancy being naughty" she whispered playfully.

"Ness you know what happens when you're a naughty girl...."

"I think you need to remind me..."

Suddenly they heard a thud and Noah's voice "mum where are you?"

Charity opened her mouth but Vanessa was quick to cover it with her hand to shush Charity fearing what was going to come out of her mouth.
Vanessa flew to the bedroom door and shouted "we're up here packing."

Charity flopped down on the bed clearly irritated by the interruption.

Noah climbed the stairs and stood in the doorway, Vanessa fiddled with the cases as if she was finishing off packing.

"What time you leaving?" He asked.

"About 9 in the morning." Answered Vanessa.

"You sure you'll be okay Noah without us for a week."

"Yeah"

"You will tell me if Ryan brings his hairy arsed farmer to stay."

Noah laughed.

"They're going to have a great week without us isn't that right Noah" Vanessa teased winking at Noah.

"As long as the house isn't a tip when we get back and Chas is going to keep an eye out 'n all."

Noah went back downstairs.

Charity got up and closed their bedroom door, she turned to Vanessa and husked
"So little miss naughty...where were we?"

" Charity! Noah's downstairs he could come back up!"

"The door's closed babe"

"Charity no" she said firmly, embarrassed at the thought that Noah would know what they were doing behind the closed door.

"Mum I'm going to Sam's." Noah shouted up the stairs.

Charity's face lit up with excitement "okay don't be long" she feigned giggling to herself.
As they heard the thud of the front door she turned to Vanessa.

"Oh my..you're in trouble now" she whispered seductively.

Next morning they were all up early, Vanessa done a cooked breakfast to set them up for the day.
Ryan walked in "breakfast smells great!"

"It's nearly ready" said Vanessa. She loved a full house all the kids under one roof, her family, their family. She smiled to herself as she started serving the food.

"The toast ready?" She asked Charity.

"Buttering it now babe."

Noah was teasing Johnny and Moses.

"I spoke to the pilot this morning..he said you wouldn't go to sleep so you can't go"

"Nooo" cried Moses.

"I sleeped" Johnny shouted above Moses.

"Noah stop it...don't wind them up not this morning there's too much to do." Warned Charity.

"He's only playing don't listen. I spoke with the pilot and he said you can fly." Vanessa reassured them.

Breakfast was served up and there was some peace while they all ate.

"Ryan there's an envelope with cash in for Noah. Noah don't mither for it in one go it's got to last you the week, Ryan can give it daily."

Plates were cleared and washed as time ticked on.

" Noah can you bring the cases down please"

"Yeah sure" he ran up and took each case down loading them into Ryan's car.

"Right passports, boarding passes?" Panicked Charity.

"Got them, in my bag" said Vanessa.

Charity knew she could rely on Vanessa to be organised but she had to ask anyway.

"Ready? Come on boys, in the car" Vanessa ushered them to the car and they fastened them in as Tracey appeared.

"Enjoy your jollies. I'm going to miss you" she said.

"It's a week Trace I'm sure you'll cope" Charity responded dead pan.

"Charity a week's a long time..what you saying? You're not going to miss me?" She teased.

Charity looked up, paused and said "er..no."

"I might just fly over meself and meet yous" teased Tracey.

Vanessa shot her a warning look. Tracey walked over to give her a hug.

"Stop it" whispered Vanessa.

Tracey giggled and squealed quietly "oh I'm so excited for you"

"Tracey" hissed Vanessa discreetly.

"What holidays are excitin!" She looked into the car and waved "bye boys...be good."

Finally the car was fully loaded with cases and the family, with a chorus of goodbyes they headed out of Emmerdale and to the airport.

Inside the terminal they found the desk to drop their luggage. Vanessa had checked in online and had their boarding passes ready.

"Never mind the holiday these pair would have been happy enough with a day out at the airport!" Vanessa laughed.

"I know! Their little faces so excited"

Once they dropped off their luggage they headed through to security and onto the departure lounge. They took a seat in front of the big windows so Moses and Johnny could see the planes. They couldn't contain their joy as they pointed open mouthed at the planes parked on the departure gates and when one took off on the runway Charity and Vanessa thought they would pass out they were so giddy.

Soon their flight was boarding, they stood in the queue. Charity had Johnny's hand while Moses held Vanessa's. Passing through the gate and out onto the runway Johnny tensed as he saw the size of the plane.

"It's okay Johnny" Charity scooped him up in her arms even though it meant struggling with her hand luggage. He was open mouthed and buried his face in her neck looking up every so often as the climbed the steps onto the craft.

Moses was pulling Vanessa's hand towards the plane eager to rush up the steps, no fear in Moses. He gave the stewards a flash of his cheeky smile as they made their way to their seats. Being a short flight the seating was two abreast so Charity and Vanessa had reserved seats opposite each other and placed Johnny and Moses by the windows. This meant they could show the boys the view through the window, keep them contained and still talk between themselves.

Moses was all agog at the scenes around him while Johnny although curious looked to Charity for reassurance.
They were no sooner up in the air when the announcement came that they would be starting their descent.

Landing they disembarked and headed into the terminal to collect the luggage.

"Moz please take your foot off the baggage belt you'll get hurt" warned Vanessa.

"Babes..is that one of ours?" Charity asked pointing.

"Yeah can you grab it I'll keep a hold of these two."

Charity pulled the case off and swung it onto the luggage trolley. Spotting another one she reached out and took hold of it swinging it to also land on the trolley.

"There all done...hop on boys" Charity patted the cases, the boys giggled as she lifted the on sitting them facing her holding onto the bar.
She pushed the trolley while Vanessa walked beside her rummaging through her bag for the passports.
They walked through customs and out into the arrival area smiling.

"Look for Gypsy boys" Vanessa said as she herself spotted her waving.

Johnny and Moses shouted her in excitement and wanted off the trolley to get to her.

"Wait, wait" Charity told them. As they got closer she lifted them down and they ran into Gypsys arms.

Vanessa stole a glance at Charity who was smiling widely, she couldn't believe how things had panned out. Never did she imagine herself a few months ago that the outcome would be gaining such a warm extended family. She took Charity's hand and interlocked their fingers.

Gypsy had a huge smile on her face "welcome...failte" she said with open arms.

As they approached the car Gypsy unlocked it.

"You get on in with the kids I'll put these cases in the boot."

Charity had fastened Moses in and turned her attention to Johnny. Vanessa and Gypsy were at the boot loading the cases. Vanessa turned to Gypsy and whispered "all set?"

"Oh yeah..don't you worry eveything is in place" she replied winking at Vanessa.

Vanessa took a deep breath, smiled to herself and got into the car.

Chapter Text

As they left the city and the roads became quieter, longer and greener. Charity sat in the back with the boys as it was a 7 seater SUV. Usually if they were travelling with others Vanessa was inbetween the boys booster seats. She didn't mind that but sometimes the joke got old when Charity teased her about being the same size as the boys, it depended on what kind of day she was having whether she found it funny or not.

Charity looked out of the window at the lush green rolling hills, she felt at peace.
Johnny and Moses seemed peaceful too or maybe it was the excitement of the airport and the flight that had wiped them out.

Along the way Gypsy pointed out different stones and places of worship where the blessed virgin had appeared and statues had wept, many miraculous apparitions.
She talked of ancient kings and warriors and managed to make every story interesting regardless of the content.

Charity smiled to herself.

"We're not too far now" said Gypsy.

They passed through a small town and back into the countryside.

As they passed another ruin Gypsy told a story.

"Them ruins there they're what's left of St.Bridgets they're beautiful ruins" she said emphasising the beautiful.

"Legend has it Charity that one of her miracles was she turned water into beer" said Gypsy.

Charity laughed, she hadn't been too interested in the other stories but this one caught her attention "oh I think I'll have to visit those ruins and try to transfer a bit of miraculous dust on me to bring back to the Woolpack"

"Aye we will, I'll take you up there one day it's close to the farm."

They turned off the road onto a private lane, the house and farm building were visible from the track and they were both surprised it was bigger than they had imagined.

As they pulled up outside the house Ria came out followed by a young woman and three small children.

" Aww it's so good to see yous again!" Ria embraced Charity as she got out of the car, then Vanessa and poked her head in the car to undo the boys seatbelts.

"Come on boys give us a big hug"

They reached to her and got lost in her cuddle. Moses was so excited she couldn't understand what he was saying at first.

"Say again love" she said to him.

"Where's the toof fairy? He was looking at Ria all expectant as if the fairy was going to pop out from her pocket.

They all laughed "oh love she's out in the fields somewhere but we can look for her maybe tomorrow. Is that okay?" She asked him.

"Yeah" he answered appearing to be satisfied for now.

"He's not gona forget babe" warned Charity.

Ria bit her bottom lip and feigned a worried expression before laughing and introducing her daughter in law.

"This is Shivy Sols wife" Shivy smiled shyly at them "and these little imps are my grandkids Cian, Padraig and Roisin " Ria said proudly.

They all greeted one another and Ria ushered them into the house. The farmhouse was warm with a big lounge, massive stone fireplace and a brown leather chesterfield which looked well used but loved. The house smelt a mixture of leather, floral and a hint of woodsmoke it was warm and inviting.

"Tea?" Shivy asked.

"Oh that would be great"

Johnny and Moses were climbing on Gypsy when Roisin toddled over seemingly annoyed at the attention they were recieving.

"Aw wee Roisin jealous?" Gypsy laughed "these are your cousins Johnny and Moses"

Roisin started crying trying to climb on Gypsys knee she scooped her up and the crying immediately stopped. Moses laughed and Roisin buried her face in Gypsy's neck.

"She'll be dancing and doing tumbles in about 5 minutes" laughed Ria "right little show off."

Lovely home you have" said Vanessa.

"Thanks I'll show you your rooms and you can settle in, then I'll show you round the farm."

"Great" said Vanessa enthusiastically.

"Erm not sure about the farm bit babe I don't do wellies" quipped Charity.

"You feckin well will" bossed Ria "I'll introduce you to Paddy."

"I thought he was dead?" Charity looked alarmed.

"Not Paddy the Navvy Paddy my horse"

"You called your horse after your dead lover?"

"Why not? Fond memories, he's big n hairy with whiskers" said Ria innocently.

"Feck off...it's because she enjoys riding him" laughed Gypsy with a tilt of her head and a smirk.

"Hohhhoh you're still bad Ria" laughed Charity.

Vanessa giggled.

" you've no idea" said Ria with a glint in her eye "come on I'll show you your rooms."

They followed Ria upstairs with their bags, she showed Charity and Vanessa their room with ensuite. There was a door joining to the next room which was for Moses and Johnny. The door could be left open so they had privacy from the rest of the house and Moses and Johnny had access to their room.

"This is amazing" said Vanessa.

"Yeah it's lovely" Charity agreed.

Gypsy showed the boys their beds and the ajoining door to their mums room.

They left their bags and headed back downstairs, Shivy had made a big pot of tea and set the table with bread, ham, cheese, jam, scones and much more.

"A word of warning if you accept a cup of tay in Ireland this is what you get so you don't do too many visits in a day or you'd be as big as a house." Laughed Gypsy.

As Shivy poured the tea Ria threw a few logs on the big open fire.

"It can get a bit chilly with the stone walls."

"There's always a good fire going here. Ma keeps it going, that fireplace could tell you many secrets the hours of counsel it's heard." Said Shivy.

"You always knew when Ma said pull up a chair, the fire's warm that she wanted a serious word!" Said Gypsy

"Aye you were either in trouble or she was worried." Shivy smiled.

"But if it was an order...sit down by that fire you knew you were in deep trouble" laughed Gypsy.

Roisin had climbed down of Gypsy's knee and was curiously looking around at the visitors.
She smiled cheekily at Charity and walked over hesitating testing the waters.

"Hey Roisin I'm your auntie Charity." She opened her arms and Roisin went to her then ran away teasing.

She then went to Vanessa and did the same before taking the middle of the floor twisting her little body side to side and breaking into what was meant to be a song but it was unintelligable.

"See 5 minutes and she's off! That's a beautiful song Roisin." Clapped Ria which made her sing louder.

"So how was the flight?" Asked Gypsy.

"Smooth the boys were enthralled but well behaved thankfully." Laughed Vanessa.

"Hey Vanessa I'm going to look at some stock tomorrow not far from here, shouldn't take long. Do you fancy tagging along? I'd appreciate your expertise." Said Gypsy.

"They're on holiday Gypsy! Vanessa has come for a break from work." Ria said.

"I don't mind...er have we anything planned? It will be a nice opportunity for you two to spend some time together." She said nodding towards Ria and Charity.

"Well I suppose you won't be long. There's a nice place in town we could eat together in the early evening." Suggested Ria.

"Yeah yeah that's fine" Charity was a bit disappointed Vanessa was going off with Gypsy the very next day. She had been expecting to spend time together but then she reasoned in her head that it gives her and Ria a chance to catch up.

The conversation flowed and the kids started playing together. The boys were boisterous but Ria,Gypsy and Shivy seemed unaware, Roisin surprisingly for being the only girl was the bossiest.

Shivy was quiet she seemed shy. After a while she excused herself to go and get the spuds for the evening meal.

"Oh are the shops near?" Asked Charity.

The others looked puzzled.

"Shivys gone for potatoes." She added.

Ria and Gypsy laughed "who needs shops? We grow our own, she's gone up the fields." Gypsy explained.

"And we thought we lived in the country in Emmerdale" laughed Vanessa.

"Shivy seems shy" she added questioningly.

"She is, she's a lovely girl. Their family lived in the cottage where she and Sol live now, her mum died when she was 10. Paddy gave her dad work here he was a hard working man, we treated her as family. Her dad he had a stroke and couldn't work no more but they stayed in the cottage and we would help them out. Shivy cared for him for another 6 years until he died. Shivy and Sol grew up together always said they'd get married. She's a good woman for him. Sol is solid and dependable, sensible. He took the role of man of the house when Paddy died. The twins they're feckin ejits and gave me no end of worry always up to no good but they've good hearts. Lovable rogues really"

As they finished their tea the door opened and a six foot plus burly handsome man walked in carrying a bucket of spuds.

"Hey Ma"

"Sol we were just talking about you!"

"Oh?"

"Charity, Vanessa this is my eldest boy Solomon. Sol your aunt Charity and Vanessa."

"Hey how are ya?" His voice so deep, he stepped forward "wait I'll wash m hands" he washed his hands in the kitchen leaving the spuds there. He came back through and shook their hands.

"He's the image of his daddy" said Ria.

"He is" Charity agreed.

Sol shifted on his feet "ah you knew da?"

"Kind of" was her short reply with a nervous laugh.

"You're a blacksmith?" asked Vanessa quickly changing the subject.

"Yeah I have a smithy there in the yard, do all kinds of iron work and shoeing the horses."

"There's plenty of them" she laughed.

"I'll have to go back to work" he said excusing himself, kissing Shivy and going out the door.

"Wow he's lovely" exclaimed Vanessa "you must be so proud."

Gypsy laughed "wait to you meet the arseholes"

"Gypsy don't speak about your brothers like that."

"Ma you're always calling them holes!"

"I gave birth to them holes so I can call them whatever I like" she laughed "they're good lads."

"Well wee Moses n Johnny we've a gift for you" Gypsy went into a bag and pulled out a pair of wellies for Moses and another pair for Johnny. She then produced two little body warmers and flat caps. "There you go you'll be like two wee farmers in them. Hope they fit I took note of their sizes when we came to see you."

"Oh wow" exclaimed Charity, Vanessa's hand went to her heart she was so warmed by the gift.

Moses n Johnny went over to Gypsy eager to put their new clothes and wellies on.

"There we can go on a tour of the yard!"

They looked so cute dressed like little farmers, Charity took out her phone and took pictures. They were pleased as punch.

"Charity I've an old pair you can use, Ness I think Gypsy will have your size.

"It's okay she can use Johnny's and I'll carry him" Charity laughed at her own joke as Vanessa shot her a look.

All dressed appropriately with Charity still complaining about wearing wellies (although Vanessa for some odd reason thought she looked sexy in them. She didn't voice it though but she'll certainly mention it later) they headed out for a tour of the yard.

The boys were so excited at the tractors and the chickens. Gypsy promised them she would bring them out in the morning to collect the eggs for breakfast.
They called in at the smithy to see Sol working. Vanessa found it fascinating while Charity complained it was too hot in there.

From the smithy they walked across the yard to the big barn .

"Most of the horses are turned out, we don't like to keep them in. They're hardy enough to winter out but some would be in if they're going for sale or ready to foal."

They crossed the yard to a gate where Ria whistled and a large looking dark brown hairy beast cantered over to the gate.

Ria cooed at it "this is my Patrick, he's a gentle giant" she kissed his soft muzzle.

"Eurgh babe that's gross" Charity pulled a face.

"He's my baby...aren't you Paddy"

"Lovely, Irish Draught... good bone" said Vanessa.

"Steady on babes! He's a horse." Exclaimed Charity horrified.

"Shut up Charity..mind always in the gutter" Vanessa whispered to her.

Back on the yard Gypsy brought out two shetland ponies.

"Meet Branston and Pickle...boys would you like to ride them?"

Moses was ecstatic while Johnny was hesitant and looked to Charity for reassurance. Vanessa could not fathom why but she was so glad that Charity seemed to be the one who gave him confidence to do things.
It was as if Moses was drawn to Vanessa's calm and Johnny was drawn to Charity's boldness. They made a great team parenting.

Gypsy saddled up the ponies, there was a handle on the front of each saddle to help them balance.
Gypsy took Johnny and lifted him on Branston. He held on as she walked beside him holding him. Eventually he relaxed smiling.
Ria lifted Moses onto Pickle and done the same walking beside him.

"Yes! I believe we have two horsemen!" Exclaimed Gypsy excitedly.

Again Charity took lots of pictures proud of her boys.

"I'll have to go in and help Shivy with the cooking. Vanessa can you take over? Charity you coming in or staying out?"

" I'll stay out here for a bit"

"Oh getting comfy in the wellies now?" Ria laughed as she headed indoors.

Vanessa sidled over to Charity with Moses and Pickle "actually those wellies look good on you" she whispered.

"Oh no babe I'm not wearing wellies in the bedroom"

Vanessa laughed.

They stayed outside with the boys for a long time as they didn't want to get off the ponies.

"Ah the ponies are tired now. You can ride again tomorrow." Gypsy told them as their little faces dropped. "We'll go in and play with Roisin and the lads."

Inside Cian and Padraig were playing with their toy tractors building a farm set. Moses and Johnny joined them while Roisin was more curious about the grown ups.

The food smelt great and the table laid for 11 Roisin would sit on Ria's knee. The table was a large oak farmhouse with matching chairs, the kitchen was spacious with an aga. The main food prep area out the back was similar to a dirty kitchen complete with belfast sink and added on to that the utility/laundry area. Vanessa guessed the laundry was probably a daily chore.

"Smells amazing"  Vanessa said.

"Honey glazed gammon, spuds and veg" said Shivy "you want a cup of tay?"

"Yeah but no bread, cakes or scones we'll spoil our dinner"

"Just a cuppa then" Shivy smiled.

The door flung open and two friendly faces appeared.

"Hey Ma!"

"Hey fellas come meet Charity and Vanessa and their boys."

"Well...how are ya?" Lonny and Levi shook their hands in greetings.

Both were far more bold than Sol and with wicked sense of humour. The house was noisy , lively and very homely.

In some ways it reminded Charity of wishing well only more tasteful and on a bigger scale. Even sitting around the table to eat, she remembered the days when they used to do that. She remembered the many fights around the dinner table and how Lisa would take them all in hand like a mother. She could see that mother figure in Ria and she smiled to herself in awe as she never expected Ria to become who she had.

Sol arrived and washed before his food, Shivy and Sol lived in the cottage across the lane but always ate at the main house.

The conversation flowed over dinner, lots of banter and laughter.

"Here Gypsy will you run us into town?" Asked Lonny.

"Whoa hang on lads you're going into town?" Asked Ria.

"Just for a few Ma, Gypsy'll pick us up early won't ya sis?"

"Feck off I need an early night" she said.

"Ah go on..you know you're my favourite sister"

"Shut your hole you can't go out tonight" she sniped back.

"Ma we've been workin all day" he pleaded to Ria.

"Less of the language in front of the weans. Lonny you've a big day tomorrow I don't want yous hung over"

Vanessa and Charity grinned, they were in their twenties but like teenagers being told they couldn't go to youth club.

"We'll take it easy won't we" Lonny looked to Levi for support.

"Course we will Ma, tomorrow will be fine"

"What's on tomorrow?" Asked Charity innocently.

"Just a lot of work" answered Ria, she looked at the twins "and you've to ride Patrick n Fallon  over to Leneghans tomorrow first thing.

"Gypsy drop us down and pick us up at 11"

"10:30 lads that's my final say and if you come back full I'll give you a hiding meself" warned Ria.

Lonny and Levi grinned.

"Scuse us got to get ready and look dapper for the ladies n gents" Lonny winked getting up from the table"

"Enjoy!" Laughed Charity.

After dinner they sat in the lounge. Sol, Shivy and the kids had gone home although Roisin had made a fuss because she wanted to stay with Gypsy. She was still jealous of the attention Moses and Johnny were getting.

Moses and Johnny were playing in the lounge with the toy tractors while Charity, Vanessa,Ria and Gypsy chilled chatting.
The conversation lulled and the crackling of the fire was soothing. The boys were flagging after their adventurous day so they decided to take them to bed before they passed their sleep.

"Night night" Ria cuddled them both and kissed them before they repeated the same ritual with Gypsy.

They met the twins on the stairs looking dapper.

"Night wee men" they both tousled Johnny n Moses hair as they passed.

Charity and Vanessa could hear Ria laying down the law to them before they left.

Once the boys were sleeping they went back downstairs, Gypsy was back already.
It was near 10 when Gypsys phone rang.

She sighed "it's Mairead" she put the phone on loud speaker.

"Well Mairead what's up?"

"Your brothers are outside fighting with Duggans boys"

Ria was furious.

"Tell them Ma's on the way"

"Oh shit someones arses are gona be sore" laughed Mairead.

"Those boys once the drinks in the wits out. Won't be long sorry about this. I'd usually leave them to it but I want them home they've got a lot on tomorrow" said Ria.

Ria and Gypsy left leaving Charity and Vanessa to chill in front of the fire.

"Gosh this house is amazing! It's like a real old farmhouse, I'd love to live in a place like this. Always something going on, really homely." Said Vanessa quietly.

"I know, I think they must be the richest Dingles. They throw cash round it's just paper" Charity whispered even though no one was home to hear.

Vanessa laughed "I wouldn't want to be in Lonny and Levi's shoes, grown men and their mother turning up to drag them home"

Charity giggled "well Lonny and Levi are definately Dingles!"

A short time later they heard the car pull up outside. They could hear Ria's voice shouting calling the boys arseholes and them protesting that she didn't need to drag them they were capable of walking. However given how slurred their speech sounded Charity wasn't so sure.

The door opened and Ria threw them inside.

"Get up them stairs now you pair of holes before I lose my boot in yours" Ria was livid "no feckin respect, guests n all stayin"

"Ah Ma I love ya Ma" slurred Levi.

Ria growled gritting her teeth "go on ya"

Both the boys were looking far more ragged than when they went out and the more angry Ria got the more they laughed until she put her boot up Lonnys arse and sent him sprawling.

"For the last time get up them stairs"

"Ah sorry Ma, it was him the bollocks" Levi pointed at Lonny.

"Just go to bed the pair of you and out of my sight" she scolded.

Gypsy had remained quiet during the exchange, she followed them up the stairs to make sure they went straight to bed.

Ria turned back to Charity and Vanessa "she's the idiot now, she'll go up there and help them take their shoes off and make sure they're in bed safe" Ria sighed "sorry about that, they"re friggin arseholes when they've got drink in them. They knew I didn't want them going out tonight."

"Oh to be young again....not" laughed Charity "chill babe they're just havin fun"

Ria mellowed as Gypsy came back down.

"They in bed?" Asked Ria.

"Yep" she answered "well at least yous have met the holes" she laughed looking at Charity and Vanessa.

"Oh babe they're Dingle boys alright" Charity laughed.

"Well I'm done think I'll turn in for the night" said Vanessa yawning.

"Yeah I'll come up now" Charity responded.

"Night...have a lie in, don't worry about Johnny n Moses they'll be fine" said Ria.

"Night"

Once in bedroom Vanessa opened the adjoining door to the boys room wide and closed their door to the landing incase they woke and were scared in unfamiliar surroundings.

Charity went through her ritual removing her make up. Vanessa took a quick shower before getting into bed.
Waiting for Charity to finish in the shower her mind wandered to tomorrow. She was excited but nervous and hoped and prayed everything would go smoothly.

Charity wandered into the bedroom naked wearing only wellies.
Vanessa burst out laughing as Charity strutted about like she was on a cat walk.

"Charity stop it!" She whispered giggling "someone might come"

"Yeah hopefully me babe" wiggling her hips and with a playful sulty glare over her shoulder sashayed back into the ensuite returning in more appropriate attire as a guest in someones home.

Vanessa was still laughing. She loved how Charity could make her laugh..really laugh.
As Charity climbed into bed they cuddled close.

"How on earth did you get them wellies up here without being seen? And where did you hide them?"

"Secret babe...didn't you notice the extra care I took washing off the shit when we got back to the house?"

"Just thought that was you generally cleaning them not used to the muck on a farm"

"Babe I lived long enough at Wishing Well dodging pig shit, lived at Home Farm when it was full of horses. I'm not that niave to farming"

"Maybe Ria will let you take the wellies home"

"Hm got a rubber fetish going on there babes?"

"Ewww no! Just the wellies I'm afraid" she said apologectically.

"I like it here, it feels like a home" said Charity whistfully.

"They're a great family Charity and so generous in everything. Let's sleep big day tomorrow"

"Why is everyone having a big day tomorrow?" Charity questioned.

"Dunno must have picked the expression up from Ria...night my sweet" Vanessa kissed her as she turned on her side.

"Night babes" Charity moved as close as possible to Vanessa's back her knees bent following the curve of Ness's body, her arm across her waist and holding her hand.

 Next morning Vanessa was woken by a commotion outside. She blinked and looked to the door to the boys room, it was closed.
She jumped up disturbing Charity as she flew out of bed.

"Babe what's going on?" Charity asked sleepily.

Vanessa had opened the door the boys beds were empty.

"Charity Moses n Johnny are not in their beds"

"It's okay babe they'll be downstairs with Ria or Gypsy they said not to worry about them last night."

The commotion grew louder, Vanessa made her way to the window.
Outside Lonny and Levi were laying in the back of the pick up Ria scolding them again. Ria had a hose in her hand and turned it on showering the twins who jumped up screaming with the cold.

Charity had joined Vanessa watching at the window. Sol stood by laughing, Ria was clearly enjoying herself while Gypsy stood Johnny and Moses either side of her. Johnny and Moses were jumping up and down in the excitement laughing. They were still dressed in pyjamas with their bodywarmers and wellies on.
Ria finally chased the twins shouting to them to takes the horses to Leneghans and come straight back for breakfast. She threw a pair of dry overalls at them and told them to skidaddle.

Charity pulled Vanessa close and kissed her "I could get used to lazy mornings, nannies and child minders in abundance leaving us free for some us time."

Vanessa agreed "mm it is nice"

Charity walked backwards bringing Vanessa with her "come" she said "they won't be expecting us just yet, the boys have forgotten about us, how about some you and me time?" Kissing Vanessa bewteen whispering her words.

Vanessa willingly followed her lead leaning into each kiss. Of course she would indulge Charity...especially this morning...I mean it will be the last time afterall.....

.......well. .the last time as her fiancee......

Eventually they made their way downstairs to the smell of bacon and sausage.

"Morning" said Shivy.

"Morning" they replied.

"Ria and Gypsy have gone out to collect the eggs with the kids. They won't be long....cup o' tay?"

"Oh yes please" said Vanessa moving forward to make the tea so Shivy could carry on what she was doing.

Charity went back upstairs and got her wellies and placed them back by the door.
They were drinking a brew by the fire which was blazing away when the others came back in.

"Mummy, mummy look eggs" Johnny and Moses said excitedly.

Ria laughed "you done brilliant finding them! Go wash your hands in the kitchen with Shivy.

"Glad you both had a lie in nice to see you relaxing" she said to Charity and Vanessa.

"Had a lovely sleep, that bed is so comfy"

"Good, hope you don't mind but Moses was going on about the fairy again. I hold him we'd take a walk up the fields to look for her this morning"

"No that's great" said Charity "what time are you going out babe?"

"Not sure" Vanessa responded "I'll ask Gypsy"

Shivy interuppted "breakfast's ready"

They were all seated as the twins came in.

"Ah good on ya Shivs I'm starving" said Lonny.

"Aye we were kicked out of bed early then soaked and sent off to work with no food." Added Levi.

"Be grateful I gave you dry overalls" warned Ria.

"We saw that this morning from the window" laughed Vanessa.

"Yeah they were kicked out of bed early because there's a lot to do today. Then Ma caught them laying down in the back of the pick up so she gave them a shower with the cold hose" laughed Gypsy "serves yous right"

"Oh is that right...maybe Ma would like to know what you get up to when.."

"That's enough...eat" said Ria.

Gypsy stuck her tongue out at Lonny behind Ria's back and smirked at him. Lonny flicked a bean at her so she clipped the back of his head "dick" she whispered.

"Gypsy" Ria warned.

"What time are we going today?" Asked Vanessa.

"I think just after lunch, we shouldn't be too long and then Ma we'll meet you and Charity for evening meal at the Manor."

After breakfast they took the kids up the fields looking for the tooth fairy. Moses face was so determined, he looked all through the long grass and was becoming upset he couldn't find her.

 "Aww she's got so many teeth to collect love she must be away" Ria comforted him.

"Where's her house?" Moses asked.

"I don't know love"

"You said you knew"

"I did see it once but she moves you see. She brings her house with her like magic, that's why she's so hard to find...if I see her again I'll let her know you were looking for her...is that okay love?"

Moses nodded "can we ride ponies?"

"Yeah course you can...come on"

They went back to the yard and tacked up Branston and Pickle. Gypsy gave then a short lesson mostly consisting of balance excersises.

After lunch Gypsy and Vanessa left, they took Moses and Johnny with them leaving Charity and Ria alone.

"Let's get a brew and sit by the fire" said Ria.

"Whoa...babe..should I be worried? This is a fireside chat?"

Ria laughed "it's not an order so there's no trouble but I do want to run something by you."

"Oh...go on I'm listening" said Charity intrigued.

"Brew, fire then I'll talk"

Ria handed ger a mug of tea and they went through to the lounge.
Ria took her usual chair the big old wingback and told Charity to pull up the other easychair.

"Okay..so..what it is?" Asked Charity.

Ria stared at the flames considering the words she was about to speak, after a pause which had Charity fidgeting she spoke.

"Charity...how would you feel about us moving closer?"

"What?...how close?"

"The village close..."

"Emmerdale!" Charity gasped "seriously?"

"Deadly"

"What about this place?"

"You know this place isn't our long term plan. Gypsy has had a business plan for a long time but it's something we need to agree as a family."

"Yeah but how could you pursue that plan in Emmerdale?"

"We've already done the research. We're looking at Wishing Well and surroundjng lands plus there's additional grazing land the other side of the village for sale."

"Kim Tate owns Wishing Well and the surrounding land....babe she'll never sell to a Dingle"

"She wouldn't know"

"What? She'd have to know"

"It would be purchased through a company, an investor purchasing the land with a view to develop it for a number of eco houses. A mix of holiday lets and private. It's a win win for Kim, she will be offered a very good price. For her she can finally off load the Dingle problem, they've tried evicting them twice but they're sitting tenants. She will have cash released to invest into her outdoor pursuits centre and if a development were to be given the green light it will mean increased business for her at the HOP. She will investigate the buyer but she won't see my name and she'll be too excited to pass the opportunity up especially when my agent discloses their client is interested in a number of potential sites."

"Oh my god...you have it all planned"

"Always Charity" Ria winked "don't let the farmers wife act fool you I'm still as sharp and shrewd I just channel it better now and I have the contacts."

"I'd love you to move to Enmerdale! Is it wise though to make an enemy of Kim Tate?"

"I know all about Kim Tate, she knows nothing about me. Kim is a business woman she won't be out of pocket, in fact this deal is very beneficial for her. The only issue she will have is that I'm a Dingle. I'm hardly cheating her am I but if that's enough to make her an enemy then bring it on I can more than match her."

"What about your family?"

"I told you before it has to be a family decision. My kids are all in agreement, you are family that's why I'm running it by you. I expect you'll discuss it with Vanessa, once you have then come back to me with yours and Vanessa's views."

Charity was overwhelmed, she would be so happy to have her family in the village but the issue of duping the Tates both concerned her and thrilled her.

They sat staring at the dancing flames.

THE AIRPORT

Gypsy and Vanessa were at the airport.

"Charity's going to be floored when she walks in" Gypsy laughed.

"I know..I just hope it all goes to plan" said Vanessa craning her neck to look for Debbie and the kids.

"Everythings good, the horses are prepped and ready the carraiges are already in the hotel grounds. The chapel has been decorating, the lighting and sound systems are in place."

"Good"

" it's just the barn left to do but we need Ma and Charity out before they can start on it."

"There she is" said Vanessa waving like mad "Debbie"

Sarah spotted her before Debbie "there she is mum"

Debbie, Sarah and Jack made their way to Vanessa. She introduced them in person to Gypsy.

"So mum still has no clue?" She asked.

"Nope not a hint or suspicion" Vanessa smiled.

Sarah,Jack and Debbie were beaming.

They made their way to the hotel to wait for the others to arrive.

THE PORT

The ferry docked Ryan, Noah, Tracey and Rhona were in Ryans car while Chas, Marlon and Zac were in the Dingle van.

Zac laughed as he hit the dashboard affectionately "this old girl will get us there!"

"Hope so" said Chas "don't fancy kipping in 'ere on a country lane and I don't want to miss this wedding of the decade! Never thought I'd see our Charity getting up the aisle with Vanessa so I'm not missin it"

"D'ya think she knows?" Asked Marlon.

"She won't have a bloody clue Vanessa's been so tight lipped about it"

"Pull over" shouted Chas.

He pulled over.

"Why couldn't I of stayed in the van instead of being a foot passenger? Can't bloody breathe now"

"Shut up Mandy and get in....where's Sammy?"

"Still chucking up"

"Sammy gerin 'ere we're gona be late"

"I'm seasick" he grumbled.

"Give 'im a plazzy bag Mand..let's go" shouted Zac.

"Don't be sick around them wedding outfits" ordered Chas.

"Right let's follow the sat nav" said Zac.

"Sat nav? We haven't got a sat nav" said Marlon.

"Yeah we 'av there in front in his fancy gadget car"

They made their way in convoy to the Manor the excitement building the closer they got.

Ria's phone rang, Charity could hear her complaining to Gypsy that they were supposed to only be a hour. She finished the call and relayed the conversation to Charity.

"Sorry Charity they've been held up. We're going to meet them at the Manor hotel to eat around 6. Is that okay?"

"Honestly once they get out together they forget to come back!" Charity was disappointed, she wanted to enjoy their time in Ireland in Vanessa's company but she seemed busy running around with others.

Ria turned away and smiled...

If only she knew just how much running around Vanessa had been doing and the lengths she had gone to to make this day the most special day of Charity's life.
Vanessa had imagined her reaction many times in many ways....in just under 3 hours she would see her reaction as it would dawn on Charity that this was the day the would finally be married......

Chapter Text

Vanessa,Gypsy, Debbie and the kids arrived at the hotel.

"Oh my word is that bunting through the town for your wedding?" Asked Sarah.

"It is! Do you think it's OTT for Charity? She won't guess, Ria's going to tell her there's a parade on tomorrow" Vanessa laughed.

"Mum is going to be so happy she won't care about OTT in fact she won't notice Ness because she'll only be focussed on you as usual"

Vanessa laughed.

"What time are the others arriving?" Sarah asked.

"The boats in already, they're on their way"

THE CONVOY

"What's he doin?" Ryan was asking the question to himself while looking in the rearview mirror.

"Who?" Asked Noah.

Tracey and Rhona looked behind them.

"Oh my god there's smoke coming out of the van!" Gasped Tracey "quick it's on fire, stop"

"It's not on fire Trace stop panicking, looks like it's overheating though." Comnented Ryan as he pulled over.

"Oh my god Zac pull over, can't see a bloody thing. I knew I should have flew instead of coming in this old jollopy." Moaned Chas.

"Ay nowt wrong with this ol' van she's reliable she is" said Zac defending his wheels.

"Then why does she look like we're shovelling coal into the dashboard? Suddenly transformed into a steam engine?" Chas was annoyed.

"A don't know" Zac pulled over.

They got out and Zac popped the bonnet, the radiator was gurgling away and the steam overwhelming.

"Come on Zac do somethin' we can't miss this wedding!" Urged Chas.

"I can't it's too hot to touch yet!"

"Shit..we need to call them" she said.

"Can't there's no wifi out here in the sticks, can't use messenger" huffed Mandy.

Ryan came over "We're only about an hour away, I've got roaming on m phone I'll call and see if someone can come for you"

Ryan scrolled down for Gypsy's number.

"We've got a problem. The van's overheated, according to the sat nav we're about an hour away"

"Shit..okay give me few minutes to find a solution. We haven't got time to come an pick yous up. Give me some landmarks so I know where you are, I'll do some ringing round for help see if any of my contacts are in the area."

Ryan gave her the landmarks and hung up to wait for a rescue plan.

"Oh this is just great this" complained Chas.

"Might as well 'av some refreshments while we wait" suggested Zac going into the back of the van and pulling some cans from the crate they'd brought."

"Always good to have an emergency stash" said Mandy cracking open a can.

"Can we not" Chas shouted and sighed "we're at the side of the bloody road not in a beer garden."

Sammy laughed and raised his can. Ryans phone rang.

"I've got a friend can pass by and collect them and bring yous up the road. Leave the van and keys with him and they'll sort it out. Tell the others not to expect anything too fancy."

"Ta I'll pass that on"

He hung up.

"Okay help is on the way but don't expect anything too fancy she said"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Roared Mandy

"I don't know, don't shoot the messenger"

They sat waiting working their way through the stash of booze. Chas was bored.

"Ere chuck us one of them cans, if you can't beat 'em join 'em" she resigned herself to their fate and sat down at the roadside with her can.

"Can I have one?" Asked Noah.

"No you bloody well can't"

Noah huffed.

Tracey and Rhona were still in the car dying of shame at the Dingles roadside party.

A car came into view, Zac stood up and started waving, can in his hand.
The car stopped and he was surprised to see two nuns in the vehicle.

"Oo er sorry I thought you were our rescue vehicle, my apologies" he grovelled removing his cap.

Mandy suddenly became conscious of her ample cleavage that seemed to be shouting look at me! Chas tried to hide her can.
In Ryans car Tracey and Rhona slid further down the seats.

"No problem..er can we help in any way" the older nun asked smiling

"No no mother you're okay help is on the way. Don't let us keep ya'" muttered Zac embarrassed.

"Okay hope your help arrives soon" and with a smile and a wave they drove off.

"Mother? mother?" Screeched Chas.

"Well you call a priest father so why not a  nun mother?"

"Yeah the mother superior maybe but most nuns are sister"

Zac laughed "hey did you hear the one about the two nuns in Ireland that were stopped by police for speeding?"

"No" said Sam

"They were pulled over and one started panicking, the other said don't worry, we're of the holy order, we're nuns they'll let us off, just show him your rosary beads or better still show them your cross..so she put the window down and with a big angry face shouted....feck off ya bastards!" Zac roared with laughter.

"Good one dad" Sam laughed raising his can.

"You get it? Cross/angry?" His joke failed to raise a smile from Chas who was too busy staring at something in the distance.

"What the hell is that? Hope that's not our rescue" she said in disbelief.

A rickety old cattle truck came further into view.

"They're pulling over" said Zac scratching his head.

"Hello there...would you be the Dingles?"

"Er yeah"

"Climb aboard I believe youve a wedding to get to." The older smiley man jumped out of the cab "sorry it's nothing grand we were in the area when we got the call. Just hold yer noses!"

Chas scoffed "oh no I'm not gettin in that..Noah you'll have to swap."

"No chance I've got to walk the bride down the aisle I can't be smellin of cow shit"

"Just get in" Zac bellowed.

"If I'm goin in you're comin with me" huffed Mandy

Few moments later Zac, Chas, Mandy and Sam are sat on bales in the back of the cattle wagon with a crate of lager.

"I don't believe this" moaned Chas "it proper pure fuckin stinks"

"I need a piss...that lagers gone right through me" Mandy whined.

"Just do it there by the door no one will know" said Zac as if Mandy was about 5.

Sam laughed "yeah what's another bit of cows piss"

"Cheeky get I'll wallop you in a minute"

"Can we NOT!" warned Chas "Mandy you'll have to hold it in sorry"

Mandy huffed but still carried on finishing her can.

THE HOTEL

"They're back on the road thank goodness" said Gypsy to Vanessa.

"Good, I'm getting nervous now"

"Everything will go smoothly, don't be worrying, in a few hours you'll be walking down that aisle to become Mrs Dingle"

Vanessa smiled as her stomach flipped at the thought. Mrs Dingle..finally after so long, they always talked about their wedding but life just happened and it went on the backburner. With her illness and Charitys journey out of addiction, family issues, life went on, they were happy together and the wedding wasn't a priority.

Debbie walked into the seating area in the lobby with Sarah and Jack.

"Wow you all look amazing" Vanessa gushed.

"Thanks" said Debbie "shouldn't you be getting ready?"

"I'm going to wait until Charity is here, we can both get ready."

"No going into the honeymoon suite though! That's for after the wedding, you can make use of the rooms booked for the others." Laughed Gypsy.

Suddenly there was a lot of noise from the main door. In walked the Dingles, Ryan and Noah were laughing and Chas was not amused.

"Hello we finally made it!" Chas called out. As they got closer a pungent wiff filled the air.

"Don't ask" Chas held her palm up "I need a shower and so do these lot"

"Yeah sure I'll show you your rooms but be quick Charity won't be long" said Gypsy.

"Be quick!" Mandy screeched "we've spent the past hour in the back of a cattle wagon reeking of shit n piss gona take ages to wash the smell off"

"Ey at least we got 'ere in time...thanks love, come on let's get changed" Zac motioned to the others.

They left the lobby rushing to their rooms to get changed. Debbie took Moses n Johnny to put their suits on. Gypsy also went to change while Vanessa stayed in the lobby with Sarah and Jack.

THE FARM

Charity and Ria had gotten ready to go and meet Vanessa and Gypsy for their evening meal.

"Hope they're there" said Charity.

"They will be"

"You know what they're like once they start talking animals they forget the bloody time" moaned Charity "I think Vanessa's forgotten about me today"

Ria smiled to herself hiding it from Charity. She text Gypsy..

..you all ready? Charity's impatient and ready to
leave...

She recieved a response...

...stall her another 20 mins..

Ria typed....how the feck am I meant to do that? She's already getting pissed off waiting...

Gypsy pinged back...you'll think of something!...

"You ready?" Asked Charity.

"Er..just need the toilet..ooo I got cramps" Ria rushed off and into the toilet, locking the door she put the lid down and took a seat.
She dialled Gypsy..

"Gypsy I can't keep her much longer, I'm in the toilet, said I had cramps, she's fed up waiting" Ria whispered.

"Okay okay I'll start to round everyone up to the lobby, if they're not finished getting ready they can do after she's arrived. I'll text you."

Ria sat for a few moments longer before she heard Charity shouting her.

"I'm fine I'll be out now" she called back.

She got up and flushed the chain and washed her hands to waste more time.

"Maybe give it 5 minutes Charity to see if my stomachs okay."

"Ria! It's getting late I don't want to keep Ness waiting"

"Oh I'm sure she won't mind" Ria smiled.

"Ria I haven't seen her all day she's blew me off to go gallavanting with Gypsy! I at least want to spend some time with her this evening"

"Don't worry Charity you will...chill"

Ria took out her phone and text Gypsy..
...we are leaving now make sure everyone is there in the lobby...

"Okay let's go"

Charity and Ria left the house and got in the car for the short drive to the town.

THE HOTEL

Gypsy had ran round banging on the doors.

"She's on her way, she's on her way, get down to the lobby and finish getting ready later"

With a mad dash, clothes flying, people hopping round trying to put shoes on while running, hair half done Gypsy managed to scramble everyone together in the lobby.

Considering a few were not finished and ready they all looked smart and presentable.
Ryan, Noah,Moses and Johnny stood together with Debbie and her kids. Zac, Chas, Sam, Mandy, Rhona and Tracey stood behind them with Vanessa, Gypsy to the side. Vanessa wanted a full view of Charity's reaction when she saw her family.

"Why you driving like your stoned?" Asked Charity.

"What? I'm not I'm just enjoying the view."

"Fucks sake put your foot down Ria"

Ria picked up the pace hoping that Gypsy had managed to gather everyone.
They pulled into the hotel, Ria parked up at the front. The staff at the door gave a thumbs up to the wedding party and ripple of whispered excitement could be heard before they hushed and fixed their eyes on the doors nervously.

The doors opened...Charity appeared first..

She looked their way and at first didn't register, she done a double take and her mouth dropped open and her brow furrowed in confusion...

"Surprise!" They said in unison.

Charity reached out for Ria's arm to steady herself it was slowly dawning on her that her family were here although she didn't know why. She wondered in that split second 'why are they here and dressed like that?' Her eyes fell to Johnny and Moses in their suits, to Noah,Ryan, Debs and her grankids...'why? She couldn't form words and in those seconds that felt like minutes she saw Tracey and Rhona, Chas, Zac,Mandy and Sam..."wh..wh..wha"

Vanessa stepped forward, Charity looked at her still with her mouth open but nothing coming out.

"Charity...they've all come for you and me, for our special day, our big day"

Charity's furrowed brow softened as she looked at her Ness the truth starting to dawn on her...

"Our big day?" She whispered "you mean..big day? Married" she continued whispering hesitantly just incase she had got it wrong.

Vanessa nodded smiling. Charity put her hand to her mouth in shock.

"When?"

"In about 2 hours from now"

"You're kidding"

Vanessa shook her head still smiling. Charity looked back at her family and then a huge smile spread across her face which went into laughter.

"We're getting married" she shouted "we're getting married!" She grabbed Vanessa and lifted her off her feet spinning her round " babe you've done all this?"

Vanessa's arms were wrapped around Charity as she buried her face in her neck.

"Yep I've done all this for you...I love
 you Charity Dingle and it's about time I get to call you my wife."

As Charity put her back down on the floor they kissed forgetting about their audience and even the wedding as they were completely caught up in the moment in that kiss.

"Come on..you've got to get ready! There's a wedding that won't wait!" Shouted Gypsy.

The lobby became noisey as they all sprang into action. Chatity greeted her kids and grandkids and the extended family, she even greeted Tracey and Rhona with a hug.

"Blimey Charity has gone soft with Vanessa" commented Rhona.

"She always does when Vee is near her.. I used to think she had a twin when they first started dating because it wasn't the Charity Dingle I knew when they were together in the house!"

With the honeymoon suite off limits until after the service Charity got ready in Debbie's room while Vanessa got ready in Tracey and Rhona's room.

DEBBIES ROOM

Charity sat looking in the mirror while the stylist worked magic on her hair. As she looked at herself she wondered how she had gotten to this place, this moment in her life, her family around her including a sister, nieces and nephews! Here for her wedding day, the most special day of her life. She'd been down the aisle before quite a few times... but never truly for love, for the hope of security and stability but never truly love. In fact she never knew what love really was until Vanessa showed her. Until she herself started getting strange feelings and desires that frightened her, yet... somehow excited her as she cautiously navigated the waters of true relationship, of sharing her life..yep every single grubby part of it and allowing the shame to be kissed away in the purest way possible.
How did all this happen she thought...Vanessa that's how. Vanessa was strong enough, brave enough and many would say stupid enough to have taken the challenge that was Charity Dingle. Even in the beginning Vanessa had sometimes wondered why it had to be Charity but the more their relationship grew the more Vanessa knew why. The more she had loved the more Charity revealed of her true self that had been buried deep, guarded fiercely and now finally set free safe in Vanessa's love.
Tears pricked her eyes as love overwhelmed her.

"Hey watch out you'll ruin your make up! You okay?" Asked the stylist.

"Yeah" whispered Charity "I'm the luckiest woman in the world"

TRACEYS ROOM

Vanessa sat looking in the mirror as the finishing touches were being made to her hair and make up.
She smiled, her heart warmed at the thought that in a few hours she would officially be Mrs Dingle wife of Charity Dingle. She had goosebumps at the thought.
How did we get here she wondered to herself. From one drunken kiss in a damp cellar to being married in Ireland with a whole new family present, a journey through cancer, abduction, Charitys abuse, the trial, her stupid scams and her addiction so much had happened and for every trial and tribulation they faced they had come through stronger than ever. She remembered how Charity had once told her that she would rock her world and she certainly had and Vanessa knew in her heart, in her utmost being that there was only Charity for her. Her eyes filled up with overwhelming love.

"Hey steady on you'll ruin your make up! You okay pet?" The stylist asked her.

"Yeah" whispered Vanessa "I'm the luckiest woman in the world"

Charity made her way to Traceys room, she knocked the door. Tracey opened it.

"What you doin' 'ere!" She shrieked "you can't come in"

"Let me in Trace I need to see my fiancee"

"Come in my love" Vanessa called out.

Charity exaggerated a fake smile at Tracey and floated past her as Tracey poked her tongue out playfully.

"Er can we have some time alone..is that okay?" Vanessa asked Tracey, Rhona and the stylist who had now finished.

"Yeah bit of hanky panky before we say I do" winked Charity.

"Eurgh" Tracey acted indignant, for a long time Tracey and Charity had enjoyed winding each other up. Charity usually had the upper hand though but Tracey didn't mind, she found her funny and she made her sister
 happy which was important to her.

Alone in the room they drank in the sight of each other in silence speaking only with their eyes.

"You look beautiful" said Charity.

"So do you..do you like the suit I picked for you?" Vanessa asked her.

"Oh yes very much, excellent fitting by the way"

"Well I had to be sneaky and gave the tailor one of your others for measurement"

"Hmm you've been very sneaky doing all this...I'm so happy babe. I can't believe you've planned such a special day. I thought one day we'd either run away and get married or have a regular wedding in the village...but this...this is amazing."

"You've seen nothing yet" she smiled.

"I love you so much Ness"

"And I love you so much too"

They kissed briefly.

 "yeah mind the lippy babe" laughed Charity as they parted.

"Shall we go" Vanessa reached out her hand and Charity took it.

"I'm nervous babe"

"Me too"

They both laughed and left the room to go down to the lobby.

As they exited the lift all eyes turned to them and a cheer went up.
Everyone gathered together for a photo, then photos with different individuals/family groups and then they were called to the front door to make their way to the church.

The guests made their way out first followed by Charity and Vanessa. Standing in the doorway of the hotel Charity turned to Vanessa.

"Where are the cars?"

"No cars" she replied as they heard the sound of hooves crunch on gravel and around the side of the building came a horse and carriage.

Charity gasped "it's beautiful babe"

"Do you recognise him?" Vanessa asked.

"Oh my god it's Lonny" she laughed.

"And?"

"Ria's horse...Patrick?"

Vanessa grinned at her.

"Babe this is so beautiful it's so personal"

Two more big grey horses came into view pulling a flat bed trailer, there were bales of straw and a group of musicians on the back.

"Will the brides step up and mount their carriage" invited Gypsy "and the guests hop on to the wedding party wagon".

Zac and the other Dingles laughed jumping up onto the wagon with Tracey and Rhona.

Charity and Vanessa sat in the carriage. A car went on ahead with its hazards on to let other road users know to slow down. Darkness had fallen, it had to be dark for what Vanessa had planned. There was a slight chill in the air but their spirits were high and there were plush cream throws for their knees and shoulders.

The procession started to move as the band struck up the music on the back of the flat bed trailer with the wedding party.
They played a lively jig titled 'Haste to the wedding'. As they passed by the shops, bars and houses people came out to cheer. There was a real carnival atmosphere as the carriage and cart trundled through the town.
Soon they were out on the country road, there were lights on the car up ahead and one bringing up the rear to ensure safety. The carriage and cart were lit by lanterns.

"Where are we going?" Charity asked, she had expected to be going somewhere in town but they were headed back toward Rias.

"You'll see" Vanessa smiled.

They could hear the band still playing haste to the wedding and the Dingles, Tracey and Rhona clapping away woohooing and yeeha-ing.

They continued around the bend and Charity's eyes nearly popped out on stalks.

"Babe!" she exclaimed looking at Vanessa puzzled but questioning in disbelief and hope.

Vanessa nodded as Charity lunged toward her and kissed her with tears in her eyes. They both then looked at their destination in the distance.

St Brigets the ruin on the hill was lit up with green,red and purple uplighters giving it a soft atmospheric glow. There were white fairy lights stretching along the path to the chapel and the same green, red and purple smaller uplighters along the path. It was beautiful and took both their breaths away. It was better than Vanessa had imagined.

Lonny steered Patrick up the path to the chapel.

Solomon greeted them and instructed them to stay seated until the other guests were inside.

"Babe this has blown me away...it's not what I would have ever chosen or thought of but it's truly amazing..you're so
perfect" Charity kissed her tenderly.

"To be fair I had ideas but it was Ria, Gypsy and Shivy who organised it and added their ideas and made it happen....I wanted our day to be really special, memorable and unique."

"It's certainly that babe...I love you Vanessa Woodfield...I just had to say that one last time" Charity laughed.

Vanessa laughed too "I know! Goodbye Vanessa Woodfield"

The guests had all dismounted and oooh and aaah'd at the venue with it's atmospheric lighting around the ruins.

Inside the venue the guests had taken their seats amazed at the beauty of the setting. Along the walls were flame effect lanterns giving off a soft glow, a band was set up behind the altar area bathed in soft green uplighters. The officiator stood waiting for the start of the service.

"Oh my god this is a wedding you'd die for!" Exclaimed Tracey.

"I know..it's so romantic..Ness deserves this... and Charity, the both of them they've been through so much and they're so in love"

"Aw I know...I remember when they first started dating I never thought it would last" Tracey laughed "but then I'd watch them together and I'd feel pangs of jealousy in a good way..because I wanted what they had"

"They do take love to a different level"

Outside the chapel Charity and Vanessa stood looking at one another.

"I can't believe this is actually happening babe"

"I know...I'm not sure if it's nerves or excitement I'm feeling"

"Me too...this is it" Charity said as Ryan and Noah walked towards them.

"Ready?" Ryan asked Charity

She nodded and looked at Vanessa one last time.

"See you at the altar Ms Woodfield" Charity gave her trademark wink and turned to take Ryans arm.

"Ready...mum?" Asked Noah.

Vanessa looked at him as he smiled.

"Mum?" She questioned.

"Yeah..if you want?" He said hesitantly.

"Gosh Noah of course! You are my son and I'd be honoured for you to think of me as mum"

He smiled and held out his arm, Vanessa linked her arm in his and they walked to their entrance point.

The arrangement was for Charity to take the left side of the chapel with Ryan on her left walking her down the aisle so she had a view of Vanessa making her way to the altar.
Vanessa was taking the right side of the chapel with Noah walking on her right so she had a view of Charity until they met at the front before the officiator at the altar.

Vanessa had chosen the piece of music especially. Charity would recognise it but wouldn't yet be fully aware of it's significance.
Vanessa had remembered Charity once telling her that as a lonely neglected child she had wanted to be a princess when she grew up and everyone would love her. That's why Vanessa in her thoughtful ways had chosen the theme from Braveheart titled 'for the love of a princess' as they would make their way to be wed. It also fit beautifully with the celtic style wedding..it was perfect she thought to herself as she waited for the go signal.

Inside the chapel the guests were asked to hush for the entrance of the brides.
Silence fell and an air of expectancy vibrated around the chapel.

Through the still air came the hauntingly beautiful sound of the low whistle playing 'for the love of a princess' and both Charity and Vanessa took their first steps on their sons arms toward the altar.

As they moved slowly forward Charity looked from the corner of her eye and through the gaps between the guests she saw Vanessa, her heart melted at the sight. In Vanessa's periphery vision she saw Charity and turned her head, their eyes met and as they watched each other they smiled, in that smile was a million unspoken words they both understood.

Many in the congregation were moved to tears at the beauty of these moments, the touching beautiful love theme increasing the emotion.

Reaching the front they turned facing each other they took the last steps until they stood face to face. Ryan gave Charity to Vanessa and Noah gave Vanessa to Charity. The boys role complete they stepped away and took their seats.

The officiator began while the band continued to play softly in the background.

"Friends and family, we are gathered today to join in celebration and witness the union of Charity Dingle and Vanessa Elizabeth Woodfield. This celebration is a declaration of their love for one another and to seal their love in comittment to one another before you all.
Before we move to the more traditional wedding service we are going to perform an ancient celtic ritual of handfasting.

Handfasting is symbolic in the fastening, joining or binding of two lives together.
I believe Debbie you're going to join us for this part of the service."

Debbie stood and walked towards the altar, she carried in her hands a cord interwoven with the colours of the rainbow. She took her place beside the officiant nervously.

The band continued playing the love theme softly.

"I've practiced this so much" she whispered to Vanessa and Charity laughing nervously.

The officiator directed them "I'm going to ask you to cross you hands, Charity take Vanessa's right hand in your right hand and her left in your left.

Five pieces of cord have been plaited together to make this one cord interwoven with the colours of the rainbow. Each of the five cords represent your children who together form the family unit. As you partner together joined as one you are the head of this unit bound together in love..let love be your strength for whatever life holds for you.

Debbie please place the cord on their hands..

As the cord is bound around your hands so too are your lives bound together, woven into this cord are all your hopes and dreams for yourselves and for your children for your lives together.

As this cord is bound so too are you bound to your vows...

May the cords draw your hands together in love...

May the vows you speak never grow bitter in your mouths...

May you be bound together in the good times and bad...

As your hands are bound by this cord the knot once tied will be symbolic of the committment to one another never to be undone...."

As the low whistle reverberated around the chapel continuing with it's emotive melody Charity and Vanessa's eyes were locked on each other, both were glassy overwhelmed with love and the enormity of the officiators words.
Charity couldn't help but mouth the words I love you as Vanessa smiled and mouthed back I love you too.

Debbie finished the final wrapping of the cord her heart hammering hoping she had done it right.

" You may release your hands"

As they pulled apart their hands the cord fell away and revealed a knot.

A few gasps peppered the chapel from the guests. Tracey turned to Rhona moved to tears "that was so romantic" Rhona was also fanning her eyes.

An applause rippled through the guests.

"So glad that worked" breathed Debbie.

"Thank you" whispered Vanessa.

"Yeah thanks babe" breathed Charity.

Debbie stood to the side and walked back to her seat carrying the cord.

The officiator spoke "now we will move to the more traditional part of the service the exchanging of the rings.
Can the ringbearers step forward"

Noah ushered Moses and Johnny into the isle. Both were holding an open box each with the rings mounted inside. They held them out before then with two hands like they practised and walked towards Charity and Vanessa.

As they reached them they stood waiting...

Vanessa took the ring from Moses and looked at Charity.

"This ring is a symbol of my love for you. I promise to love you, support you, to stand by you in all that life holds for us. I never thought it was possible to love or be loved like this but you Charity have shown me what true love really is. I will always walk beside you and hold you in my heart. I have longed for the day that I call you my wife and place this ring on your finger as a symbol of my never ending commitment, love and devotion to you"

Vanessa put the ring on Charity's finger. Both their hearts were hammering in their chests.

Charity bent down and took the ring from Johnny smiling at him, she turned to Vanessa..

"Ness to put this ring on your finger means the world to me. You are the one who has shown me truly what it is to be loved completely. You got into my heart before I knew it and turned my world upside down. I never knew love before you and to call you my wife is just the best thing to ever happen in my life..er..apart from my kids" she added quickly as Vanessa laughed along with some guests " I put this ring on your finger to show you my commitment to you, my love and my devotion...I love you so much"

And with that she slipped the ring on Vanessa's finger.

The officiator stepped forward again..

"By the powers invested in me I now pronouce you Mrs and Mrs Dingle! You may kiss the bride"

A shout went up from the congregation and applause as two confetti canons boomed showering them with confetti as rockets screamed into the air and burst high above in the sky spewing out sparkling colours in a dazzling display.

The band struck up a traditional reel of 'Toss the feathers' as Charity and Vanessa were taken off to sign the registar in private.

The chapel was lively as the guests enjoyed  dancing around celebrating.

Charity and Vanessa came back to join them to another cheer as Charity spun Vanessa round to the music and embraced her burying her face in her neck and kissing her.

They made their way out of the chapel and after many pictures climbed into the carriage for the short journey to the farm where the celebrations would continue.

The guests hopped aboard the wedding party wagon and followed the newly weds along the road with the sound of wedding bells blaring from the speaker system.

 The carriage turned off the main road an up to the farm where Lonny brought Patrick to a halt outside the big barn.

"There you go ladies..rides over, time to party! And my duty is done so party I will!" He laughed.

Lonny jumped down and helped them out of the carriage as the wagon rattled into the yard beside them.

"Weheeeey" shouted Zac climbing down off the wagon "bloody brilliant...congratulations our Charity. Vanessa I'll get the welly ready love" he chortled.

"Ey this is posh dad...av a look in the barn there's proper chefs!"

Tracey gave Vanessa a huge hug again.

"Ooo my big sis this has to be the most romantic weddin I've been to...omg you're a Dingle now!" She gasped.

Vanessa laughed as she looked for Charity. Charity was chatting to Chas. Vanessa took her hand and stood beside her.

"Welcome to the family" Chas hugged Vanessa.

Sol appeared and ushered the guests in then walked in front of Charity and Vanessa. He stood at the entrance, switched on the wireless mic and asked for hush "Friends, family I present to you Mrs and Mrs Dingle"

A cheer went up as they entered the barn and took their seats on the top table. The set up was fantastic, there was a carvery with a selection of beef, gammon or turkey. The top table was served first and then the guests were taken by table to go and choose their meat and veg.

"This is amazing babe" whispered Charity to Vanessa.

"I know, I had actually planned something smaller but when Ria heard she went all out and has covered the cost. I did protest but she told me in no uncertain terms that she was taking care of it. She said what we have given her and her kids is invaluable...family"

"Wow. Ria spoke to me earlier today, she wants to move to Emmerdale but has asked for my thoughts and yours about them moving there"

"What? Like permission?"

"Sort of, she said it would be a family decision and we're family"

"Gosh" Vanessa was shocked "where would they live?"

"I'll explain it all later babe"

When the meal was finished it was time for speeches. Ria stood to give a speech.

"As you are aware it was only recently that my sister and me were reunited. I don't want to dwell on what has gone before but I want to look at the present and the future.
A wise man once told me that the bible was full of truths, he didn't live his life according to guidance from the scriptures but he believed the word to be true. He knew about my life, he knew part of my sisters life and he would tell me of the promises in Gods word. Now I'm not a religious person neither are my family but we have a strong history of biblical names in the Dingle family if that counts.
This wise man told me to hold to the promise in the book of Joel chapter 2v25 'For I will restore to you the years the locust have eaten'
It talks of God giving back what was lost, taken from us either by others or by our own behaviours. That promise has been fulfilled in my life and in my sisters life.
Today I have the honour of seeing her marry my sister in law the lovely Vanessa. In the short time I have known Vanessa I can see how good she is for Charity and vice versa. I'd like to raise a glass to their health, their future and for many more promises, hopes and dreams to be fulfilled."

The guests cheered and joined in the toast.

"Would the brides take to the floor for the first dance" Ria gestured.

Charity and Vanessa walked hand in hand to the dancefloor as Gypsy took to the mic.
There was quiet as Sol played guitar and Gypsy sung a beautiful acoustic rendition of 'I get to love you'.

As she sang
....One look at you, my whole life falls in line..

Charity held Vanessa close both swaying to the music cheek to cheek.

.....I get to love you, it's the best thing that I'll ever do...

Vanessa slightly turned her head and kissed Charity.

....The way you love me, it changes who I am...

They rested their foreheads against each others.

....whatever may come your heart I will choose, forever I'm yours forever I do....

Vanessa buried her face in Charitys neck.

....and they say love is a journey, I promise that I'll never leave....

They kissed softly again.

....I get to love you, I get to love you...

As the song came to an end the guests whistled and cheered with their phones videoing the moment.

Charity pulled back slowly and they looked into each others eyes.

"I love you so much" Charity whispered.

"I know..and I love you too" Vanessa breathed.

They smiled and bowed for the crowd as the band started playing opening up the dancefloor for all.

They sat down again at their table, Gypsy joined them.

"Here a little gift for you" she said and handed Vanessa a box wrapped in shiny gold paper.

Vanessa opened it and took the lid of the box, she gasped and her hand went to her heart.

"Oh wow" she said as a huge smile spread across Charitys face.
There in the box was a brand new shiny brass plaque that read 'Vanessa Dingle MRCVS'.

"Well you can remove the old one outside the surgery saying Vanessa Woodfield" Gypsy laughed.

"Thank you, thank you so much for everything"

They all smiled sharing the happiness of the moment.
Ria handed Charity a card.

"Open it" she said.

Charity opened the card and inside was a print out of boarding passes plus accommodation in Italy for 4 nights flying the next day.

Charity gasped "Italy!"

"Well you need a honeymoon although it is only short"

"Its amazing! What about Moses and Johnny?"

"They'll stay with us, Noah and Ryan are staying, Tracey and Rhona are flying back. Is that okay?"

Charity and Vanessa looked at each other overwhelmed "yes" they both said "thank you, thank you, thank you"
Charity reached for Ria and hugged her tears welling in her eyes.

"You've done so much, this has been more than I could ever have dreamed" said Vanessa.

"You're family..it's what we do" said Ria with a wink.

"Feel free to leave for the hotel, your bridal suite awaits you!" Laughed Gypsy.

With the party in full swing they stayed for another hour mingling with their guests and thanking them for being at their special day.

"Shall we leave now?" Asked Charity "I want my wife to myself now" as she nibbled on Vanessa's ear.

Vanessa giggled "mmm that sounds wonderful"

"What? Me having you to myself of you being my wife?"

"Both" she kissed her lips for the umpteenth time that night and would never tire of kissing them.

Solomon drew the guests attention.

"Mrs and Mrs Dingle are leaving"

"'Ere what about the welly?" Shouted Zac waving it in the air.

Noah ran over with a bottle of beer and tipped it into the welly. Zac handed it to Vanessa.

"Babe you don't really have to" said Charity with a pitying look.

Vanessa reached forward and took hold of the welly, she put the rim to her lips and tipped her head back downing it in one"

The Yorkshire Dingles went wild.

"You're a real Dingle now!" Zac exclaimed as Charity laughed when Vanessa let out a loud belch.

"Sorry" she laughed.

Confetti flew as they said their goodbyes promising to have breakfast with their guests at the hotel the next morning and to spend time with Johnny and Moses before leaving for Italy.

Sol dropped them at the hotel.

"See you in the morn"

"Thanks Sol, night" they said in unison.

They took the lift to the bridal suite. When they entered they gasped at how beautiful the suite was and the romatic touches to the room.

Chatity took Vanessa in her arms again walking her to the huge plush bed.

"Well Mrs Dingle I think it's time to consumate this marriage"

"It most certainly is" Vanessa smiled as Charity lifted Vanessa's dress up around her hips and lifted her off her feet while Vanessa wrapped her legs around Charity's waist.
She then laid her down gently on the bed and their eyes locked again.

"At last I get to call you my wife" said Vanessa.

"And about time! Now all I want to do is make love to you Mrs Dingle...my wife"

Chapter Text

 "Are you sure their flight isn't delayed?" Asked Ryan.

"No it says it arrived 20 minutes ago" Noah answered while keeping his eyes on the arrivals door.

"I can't stay here much longer it's only drop off and pick up" Ryan complained.

"There they are" said Noah jumping out of the car.

Charity and Vanessa didn't see him at first as they were only interested in each other. Charity was leaning into Vanessa her arm around her, Vanessa was laughing probably at something inappropriate mum had said thought Noah.

Vanessa looked up and saw him, they made their way over to the car.

"Hello my boys" drawled Charity "how's things?"

"Alright did you have a good time?" Asked Ryan.

"Oh yes we certainly did" Charity began teasingly winking before Vanessa cut across and said "the place was amazing so peaceful and the view, the food"

"And the se..."

"Mum" cried Noah "TMI"

"Charity" Vanessa warned softly.

"What? They're grown up"

Vanessa kept Charity's eye contact and Charity knew not to push it.

"Yeah it was a lovely place, how's Moses and Johnny?" Charity continued.

"They're doing great, hardly missed you" Ryan laughed.

Vanessa looked offended as Charity just laughed it off

"Debs didn't go back until yesterday" Noah said.

"What? She stayed until yesterday?"

"Yeah she stayed at the farm with us. She seems to like Ria and our cousins."

"Wow" Charity was shocked, Vanessa squoze her hand pleased to hear that Debbie had been bonding with Ria and her family.

Charity slept most of the journey back to Ria's while Vanessa chatted with Noah and Ryan hearing how Johnny and Moses had soared in confidence with the ponies.

"We leave tomorrow" said Ryan.

"Aw I'm gutted we haven't been able to spend time with you here." Sighed Vanessa.

"Yeah but you got married!" Said Noah.

"And went to Italy" added Ryan.

"Can't have everything babe" said Charity sleepily opening one eye "are we there yet?"

"Nearly"

Ryan turned onto the lane and up to the farmhouse.

"Home..well not home but you know what I mean" Ryan laughed.

Ria came out of the house.

"Welcome back Mrs and Mrs Dingle! How was Italy?"

"Didn't see much of it" winked Charity.

"It was lovely" Vanessa replied "thank you so much"

"Ah well couldn't see you without a honeymoon" Ria laughed "come on in, you hungry?"

Inside was a spread of tea, bread, ham, cheese, sodas, barrabrith and cakes.

There was a commotion at the door behind them as Johnny and Moses ran in with Gypsy behind them.

"Your wellies! You've put shit al..I mean poop all over me floor!" Laughed Ria.

The boys were too excited to listen as they flung themselves at Charity and Vanessa who hugged them tight. Charity broke the embrace first due to the distinct odour of stables.

"Phew you two stink" she said.

"It's a healthy outdoor smell my love" quipped Vanessa.

"Smells like you when you come home from work"

"So that's why you run a bath for me and there's me thinking you were being nice wanting me to sooth my aching muscles."

Charity flared her nostrils and raised her eyebrows "oh yeah babe that's really the reason why"

Finally their feet were extracted from their wellies and their hands washed before eating.

They sat around the table together lots of laughter and stories.

"We're going out tonight with Gypsy, Lonny and Levi" said Ryan.

"Think we'll be too tired and need to stay in with the rugrats" answered Charity.

"I didn't actually mean you" Ryan hesitated.

"Well whose we?"

"Me and Noah."

"Noah!" Exclaimed Charity "I don't think so"

"Why not?" Whined Noah.

"Because you're not old enough that's why"

"I went out the other night" he answered back.

"What?" Charity looked at Ria.

"He's 17 Charity I can't stop him they'll look after him, isn't it better he goes out with his brother and cousins than his mates behind your back?" Said Ria.

"You were doing worse at my age" he continued backchatting " and the other year when Ness was at her mums I had....."

"Noah don't say another word"Vanessa cut in sternly.

Charity sat motionless, for a second hurt flashed across her face before she quickly regained composure.

 "Charity let him go. I know they'll look after him and Noah's a sensible lad" said Vanessa softly.

Charity sighed her spark had gone "okay you can go, make sure you look after him" she said looking at Ryan and Gypsy "I'm going for a lie down" she got up and went upstairs.

Noah stood in the kitchen, he felt his face go hot and his cheeks flush with guilt at Charity's embarrassment at her failures being exposed in front of the others. He wished he'd of just kept his mouth shut and spoke with Ness later. He looked at Vanessa "sorry" he said quietly.

"It's not me you should be apologising to" she answered giving his arm a squeeze of affection before following Charity.

Ria was still sat at the table with her tea "Gypsy you and Ryan take the little ones out to see the ponies" she instructed.

"K Ma, come on boys" she motioned to them.

"I'll come with you" said Noah.

"Actually Noah there's a chair in there you can pull up beside the fire, I'll be in shortly."

Noah frowned, Gypsy looked at him and discreetly motioned for him to go into the lounge. She followed him through and pointed to the chair " that's the one, we'll see you later."

Noah walked over and sat down. Ria came through, threw a log on the fire and settled in her wingback with her coffee.

"You can come closer Noah so we can chat quietly"

Noah got up and pulled his chair closer feeling quite nervous and anxious as he did so.

"Noah love you exposed your mums failings in front of others and that hurt her."

Noahs head dropped.

"I know...I shouldn't have said it"

"You did say it though and now you're feeling bad. There's a way to make it right....you can go and talk to her, she's not much of a talker but I'm sure she'd appreciate you making amends.
Family is so important Noah, I know you've had it tough, I don't know how tough but I do know your mums mistakes have affected you but she loves you and you love her. Always protect family, never expose someones failings in anger. How do you think you could have handled that situation better?"

"I could have just spoke to Ness on her own and she would have spoke to mum"

"Thats good..so you recognise it wasn't the best way to handle it. Your mum is in recovery, she's more than aware of her failings and lives with the shame, exposing her publicly amplifies that shame for her. Recovery means dealing with all the mess that goes with addiction. Always protect your mum she's a good egg really, she's had it hard, I mean really hard but she's learning like we all are in life. Your a good lad Noah and you're becoming a man just make sure it's a gentleman eh."

Noah nodded "do you think she'll still be mad at me?"

"To be honest Noah I think she's too full of shame to be mad, probably beating herself up like she does secretly on a daily basis. Go an tell her your sorry, tell her you love her and that you wouldn't change her for the world and then go and enjoy your night out with the gang."

Noah half smiled at Ria as she stood up.

"Come 'ere" she said opening her arms to embrace him. Noah stood and stepped toward her as she put her arms around him and squeezed him tight.

"There now go"

Noah took a deep breath and headed towards the stairs.

In the bedroom Charity was laying on the bed with her eyes closed as Vanessa was unpacking their bags.

Vanessa confident that enough time had passed stopped what she was doing and went to the bed sitting down bedside Charity.

She placed her hand on Charity's stomach and gave her a comforting rub "you okay?" She asked softly.

"Yeah" she answered opening her eyes and putting on a brave face.

"Really?" Vanessa pursued.

Charity sighed..."It will always be there Ness"

"What?"

"The past, I can't get away from my mistakes"

"Well it's like you always say the past is the past...the problem is that it still hurts...but...that's something you're dealing with and working through. Noah didn't mean to hurt you he was angry and while that's no excuse...he just didn't think before speaking. Does that remind you of anyone?"

Charity gave a resigned half smile.

"Charity...you can't change the past but what we do is live in the now and look to the future. Yeah you're hurt and Noah is hurt too because he knows he shouldn't have said it and in front of the others."

Charity took Vanessa hand and interlocked their fingers.

"What would I do without your constant love?"

"Well you're stuck with it now you married me!" Vanessa laughed as she bent down and attempted to kiss the hurt away.

There was a knock at the door.

"Yeah" Vanessa shouted.

"Its me...can I come in" Noah's voice carried through the door.

"Yeah sure"

He entered the room Vanessa stood up, Charity sat up and swung her legs around onto the floor.

"Mum" he looked at Charity.

Vanessa stood up "I'll leave you to it" and she left the room.

"What do you want?" Charity asked him.

"I..I..shouldn't have said what I said...I'm sorry."

Charity just gave a little nod not really sure how to respond.

"Just wanted you to know, I was wrong to say what I said"

Charity stood up but remained silent, she picked her bag up and continued the unpacking Vanessa had left. Noah went to leave, as he got to the door she spoke "Noah...thanks..I know you didn't mean it."

He smiled and stood awkwardly at the door before stepping back in the room towards her. Charity was caught on the backfoot unsure what to do. He reached her and extended his arms and gave her a hug. She was hesitant at first but then relaxed and returned the embrace.

"I love you mum"

Charity's eyes filled up "love you too" she choked "go on go and hang out with the gang"

He left the room and left Charity with a reminder that the past really is the past and what matters is the now and the future.

Vanessa and Ria were sitting by the fire when Charity came downstairs. They both looked at her as she sat down on the big comfy leather sofa.

"Okay?" Asked Vanessa.

"Yeah" she replied.

Ria stared into the flames.

Noah made his way across the yard and joined Ryan, Gypsy and the boys who were doing their best at grooming the ponies.

"Well Noah how was your first fireside summons?" Gypsy laughed.

"Alright"

"Scary? Ma's fireside summons is like being called into the headmasters office at school" she laughed "but with Ma you always leave feeling better than you did...she's firm but fair"

"I was a tit really, done wrong and she helped me make it right again"

Gypsy gave him a hug "we're going to have a riot in town tonight!" She laughed.

They all felt the excitement of a night in the town together.

Later that evening the young ones had been fed, spruced themselves up and headed into town. Moses and Johnny were in bed while Ria, Charity and Vanessa sat in the lounge discussing future plans.

"Charity told me about you possibly moving to Emmerdale." Said Vanessa.

"Yeah but only if you're both okay with that. It's a family decision. We have all discussed it and are in agreement but we need to know your feelings."

Charity smiled and looked at Vanessa "we think it would be great" she said turning her gaze to Ria.

"Wow" Ria responded "it's becoming more real."

"My concern would be Kim Tate as she wouldn't know she would be selling to a Dingle." Said Vanessa.

"If I dislose my identity she may refuse, in fact it is most likely the case. If we purchase as a company she may not be suspicious. Either way it will be good for her. She will have money to invest in the HOP with funds from what is currently dead land to her. The Dingles are a problem as sitting tenants that problem would be gone. If we build eco homes which she will think is the plan it is more potential custom for her outdoor pursuits. Even a trekking centre is not competition as what we would offer is different to her business. In fact our customers will make use of her facilities I'm sure. The only issue she will have is we are Dingles."

"She's very bitter and likes to be top dog." Said Vanessa "she's not someone to mess with."

"And neither am I, don't you worry about Kim I already know plenty about her. Of course your vets practice would have the contracts. We'd hope Ryan would be involved in the accounts and tech stuff. Of course there'll be  more business for the pub as well."

"How soon would it be?" Asked Charity.

"Now you've both given the green light we'll get the ball rolling, put this place on the market although it won't be for long as there's locals have expressed interest previously."

"Gosh you've been thorough already" said Vanessa.

Ria held up her hands an wiggled her fingers "many pies Vanessa and years of practice baking" she smiled.

They sat in the warmth of the lounge, listening to the fire crackling before turning in for the night.

The next morning they all sat down for a cooked breakfast before Ryan and Noah headed off to catch the ferry. Charity and Vanessa had booked their flights and were spending another few days with Ria. The time passed quickly and before they knew it they were packing their bags and leaving for the airport. Ria and Gypsy took them to the airport. As they said goodbye there was a sadness but they knew it wouldn't be for long.

"Thanks Ria, Gypsy thanks for everything. The wedding was amazing and the honeymoon. Thanks for having the boys and the family." Said Charity.

"No problem that's what families do" laughed Ria.

"No you've been amazing."

"Yeah I couldn't have pulled that surprise off without you and you went all out and made it surpass any of my expectations. It was amazing."

Ria smiled "for years I had a sister and I couldn't be part of her life. Now I can and even better I now have 2 sisters!"

They hugged again.

"Go on now you'll be late for your plane"

Moses and Johnny let go of Gypsys hands and took Charity and Vanessa's.

"Bye"

"Bye see you soon"

They watched as the doors closed, Ria and Gypsy walked back to the car feeling a little empty now their guests had gone.

Debbie was waiting at the airport when they arrived.

"Hiya how was the honeymoon?"

"Fantastic" answered Charity beaming.

"Did you enjoy your stay in Ireland?" Asked Vanessa.

"I did actually, it was weird at first having a ready made grown up family to get to know but to be honest it felt like we'd known each other years."

"Nice to know you were bonding"

"Ok mum I wouldn't go that far" Debbie laughed "come on let's get you home. I bet you two are tired" she said ruffling Johnny and Moses hair.

Moses wanted Debbie to pick him up while Johnny stuck to Charity like glue as usual.

As they entered the village and pulled up outside Jacobs Fold the was a banner above the door 'welcome home Mrs & Mrs Dingle'.

"That was Sarah's idea" Debbie informed them.

Noah, Sarah and Jack came out of the house to greet them.
They finally made it through the door with their bags, Vanessa headed straight for the kettle to make a brew. She noticed the new frame on the wall containing the cord from the wedding.

"I had it mounted and framed, hope you like it" said Debbie.

"Yeah...yeah...it's beautiful" answered Charity.

"Wow...it's amazing and well done Debbie for performing it."

"I was so nervous in case it didn't work" she laughed.

"It was really special Debs" Charity smiled.

"Oh and I had your plaque changed at the surgery for your new one Vanessa Dingle."

"Thanks Debs...I still can't believe it"

"Neither can half the village" Debbie laughed "I'm going back over to the pub, I'm staying over there. Will you come later?"

"Yeah we'll just rest and spend some time with the boys but we'll go over later tonight"

 That evening Charity and Vanessa made their way over to the pub. As they opened the doors the pub was packed and a cheer went up for the newly weds.

"Welcome home Mrs Dingles!" Chas shouted.

Kim was stood at the bar and flashed a plastic smile at Vanessa.

"So Ness you've finally made an honest woman of her" joked Paddy.

Kim scoffed "hm I very much doubt that" widening her eyes and turning back to the bar.

"Drinks on the house" shouted Charity.

"Yer what?" Screeched Chas.

"Courtesy of myself and my wife" said Charity theatrically.

"Well in that case I'll have your most expensive brandy" said Kim dryly.

"Certainly and you know what Kim I'll even pour it myself for you"

Kim eyed Charity suspiciously as Charity floated off behind the bar.

"There you go our finest brandy well matured just like you" she said as she plopped the glass in front of Kim.

Kim smirked as she lifted the glass and turned to Vanessa raising it in toast to her and ignoring Charity.

"Okay whose next?" Charity shouted as her and Chas got busy taking orders.
Once everyone had a drink Charity raised a glass of orange juice.

"To my wonderful wife who surprised me with the most fantastic wedding, sorry you couldn't all be there..well...actually I'm not really (she laughed at her own joke as Vanessa cringed) the most beautiful, georgous and precious soul ever to walk this earth said yes and agreed to marry her how lucky is she (she continued laughing). Seriously Ness you're my everything and I'm the luckiest woman in the universe to have you as my wife."

Another cheer went up as Charity rounded the bar, stood next to Vanessa, put her arm around her and kissed her.

The days rolled into weeks and the weeks into months. Charity and Vanessa's lives were pretty much the same as before the wedding other than Charity adding the words my wife to her vocabulary at every opportunity.

It was a particulary bright day and they decided to take the boys over to the park for a play. While pushing them on the swings their conversation again turned to Ria.

"Did you call Ria today?"

"Yeah we spoke this morning. No further news but Ria's confident Kim will go for it. She's just taking her time but Ria's going to drop the bomb that the 'company' is withdrawing the offer as they've submitted an offer elsewhere that's been accepted. That will move her" Charity laughed.

"It's hard keeping it secret. I feel like I'm doing something wrong everytime I talk to Kim, feels like she knows"

"Aw you're just too good, me I feel smug when I see her as if .ha! you're getting what you deserve. Oh I can't wait to rub her mean old face in it."

"Charity" Vannessa had her warning tone again.

"What? Oh babe come on she's been a complete witch to us Dingles and don't forget you're one now"

"Don't" she said softly "you're better than that better than wanting one over on people."

"Oh come on babe this is Kim Tate we're talking about, allow me this at least!"

"My wife has a beautiful heart and soul underneath that hard outer shell don't gloat at others expense." And with that she planted a kiss on Charity's lips.

Charity softened, she always softened when she looked at her wife and she knew Vanessa knew it. She smiled unconsciously.

"Why the smile?"

"You that's why" she laughed softly "come on let's get home and settled for the night.

"Moses love you're just playing with that food, have you finished?" Asked Vanessa.

Moses nodded his head and stuck his tongue out and make a yacky noise showing his distaste.

"Are you still hungry? Do you want a yoghurt?"

He nodded and licked his lips.

"I wan yogut too" said Johnny.

"Okay" she handed them both a small pot each.

Johnny danced on the spot with his hand out whining for the lid.

"Johnny you've got your yoghurt this is for the bin." she said.

He carried on crying for it until Vanessa handed it over and he quickly licked the yoghurt off the lid.
Vanessa looked up at Charity who simply shrugged her shoulder, tilted her head and turned away smirking as Vanessa huffed.

"He's learnt that from you" said Vanessa accusingly.

"Don't like any of it going to waste isn't that right Johnnybobs?"

Johnny nodded, Moses laughed.

Once they'd finished they went to play with their cars in the lounge while Charity and Vanessa cleared the table and washed up. When the kitchen was clear they joined in the play with the boys before bathtime and bed.

"Mummy we have storwee bout Branston and Pickle?" Asked Moses with Johnny joining in agreement.

"Oh babe you know all about horses so I'll let you lead this one" Charity winked.

"Oh thanks you're so sweet" she responded with subtle sarcasm as Charity grinned ear to ear.

Vanessa managed to stumble through a made up story about the ponies that seemed to satisfy the boys.

"Hugs, give us a kiss" Vanessa and Charity in turn hugged and kissed them n-night.

Back downstairs Charity sighed and flopped on the sofa "ah peace and quiet"

"Brew?"

"Please, thanks babe"

The quiet was interrupted by Charity's tablet ringing.

"Yo sis what's the news?" Charity joked as Ria's face filled the screen.

"Told you she'd take the bait."

"What!" Charity sat bolt upright "you're joking". Vanessa joined her sitting on the sofa.

"No, no joke. I knew she would I've dealt with business women like her before. Thinks a lot of herself does Kim."

"Oh my goodness so it's going through?" Asked Vanessa.

"Yep Glasway homes will be acquiring land for potential development of eco homes in Emmerdale....coming soon." Ria laughed.

"Oh my goodness how did you fool Kim Tate?" Vanessa's jaw hung open.

"I didn't it's a legit company, already built some units in Cumbria all she had to do was check it out. Told you Vanessa many pies" as she held up her fingers and wiggled them.

"wow when will it be completed?" Asked Charity.

"Few weeks at the most, depends if she drags her heels but I don't think she will it's too good an opportunity for her."

"She'll be livid when she realises she sold out to Dingles" Charity laughed.

"Well she's about business too so hopefully she'll realise it's benefits outweigh her pride."

"I'm so pleased" said Vanessa.

"Oh course you are...lots of business coming your way resident vet!" Gypsy shouted in the background.

"Chat tomorrow"

"K bye"

"Bye"

A chorus of excited byes....

"Wow that's amazing...a trekking centre here in Emmerdale and your family at the helm."

"Our family babe"

"Yeah...what do you think Gypsy meant resident vet?"

"Probably just a figure of speech babe"

"Gosh it's really happening."

"I know...Kim will be fizzin when she finds out." Charity smiled to herself. Finally she would have her very own family in the village and a family that were respectable rogues able to run rings around the mighty Tates. Oh yes she had often dreamt of a day such as this.....

Chapter Text

Four weeks had passed since Ria broke the news that Kim had agreed a price on the land. Charity was growing impatient and finding it increasingly difficult not to gloat to Kim. In fact she was itching to tell someone, anyone, but Vanessa kept her in check. The only time they got to discuss it was at night in bed, Vanessa almost refused to engage in conversation about it anywhere else except sometimes in the park when no one was around.

Snuggling up in bed their conversation would turn to the pending plans.

"It's killing me this not saying anything" said Charity one particular night.

"I know it is but just hold it in a bit longer. Ria will be fuming if you let slip plus it could scupper the plans. Until it all goes through say nothing"

"It's taking ages" Charity huffed laying her head on Vanessa's chest.

"You know yourself these things take time to finalise and Kim isn't in a rush, neither is Ria or it might raise suspicion"

Vanessa laughed as she stroked Charitys hair.

"What's so funny?"

"You you're like a kid at christmas, no patience, you can't leave your presents under the tree"

"Not like you...you don't act interested at all!"

"I do, it's just I can wait. Although you do your best to tell me what's inside the presents you've got me."

"I don't"

Vanessa scoffed "oh please you ask me a hundred times or more do I want a clue while waving presents under my nose"

"But you always say no"

"Exactly because I have patience and good things come to those who wait"

Charity sighed "well I hope it's soon I don't know how much longer I can keep it in"

"Don't you dare Charity Dingle" Vanessa playfully warned and laughed as she tightened her arms around Charity squeezing her hard in a hug.

"Love you babe"

"Love you too...night"

Charity looked up and their lips met before she settled back down to sleep.

A few more days past by.
Vanessa was at work and Charity was preparing to go into Hotten. She heard a video call coming through and she rushed to answer.

"Hey how's it going?" She asked Ria "wait I can tell by the smile! It's all gone through?"

"Yep all signed and sealed!"

"Wehey babe I'm so excited! Can I tell anyone yet?"

"No but we are coming over on Friday, can you pick us up? Me and Gypsy will fly and the twins are following on the ferry, the boys are bringing the van as there'll be some clearance to do."

"Yeah I'll come for you. The boys can stay at the pub, you and Gypsy here. Is Sol not coming?"

"No he's staying home sorting stuff at the farm. Got to start clearing as we've had an offer already."

"Wow!"

"We'll see you Friday, I'll text the details and remember not a word".

"K bye!"

Charity couldn't wait to tell Vanessa the news so she called in at the surgery before heading to Hotten.

She burst through the door and startled Pearl who nearly fell of her chair.

"Do you mind barging in like that! You frightened me never mind the patients."

Charity looked around "there are no patients."

"Well there could have been."

"What's up? Did I interrupt your online shopping?"

Pearl tutted. "I take it you've come to see Vanessa..well she's busy."

"Oh lighten up Pearl, she's never too busy to see me." Charity quipped.

"Yes she is you can't just barge in and demand to see her in work."

"Ness" Charity called out.

"Excuse me!"

"Oh bog off Pearl I need to see her."

The door opened and Vanessa popped her head out "Charity...is everything okay?"

"Need to talk to you babe."

"I've told her you're busy" said Pearl in a bossy voice.

"Yeah come in" said Vanessa.

Pearl's face was like thunder as Charity almost skipped in and flashed a smug look over her shoulder.

"How old are you? Like a child" moaned Pearl.

Charity turned as she closed the door and poked her tongue out at Pearl just to wind her up that bit more. She heard her huff and giggled then turned her attention to Vanessa who stood with one eyebrow raised at her antics with Pearl.

"Yeah thanks for that I'm going to have to listen to her complaining all afternoon."

Charity laughed "babe I don't care. Ria called its all gone through! Gypsy and Ria are flying over Friday, The twins are following by ferry because they're bringing a van to start clearing on the site!"

"What! Oh my goodness."

They both jumped up and down in excitement sqealing "yes..oh my god."

In reception Pearls eyes widened then she wrinkled her nose in distaste. Getting up she marched over to the door and knocked hard.

"I'm telling Paddy and Rhona about this it's a place of work not a knocking shop to roll up for a booty call" Pearl shouted through the door.

Charity let out a loud groan of pleasure and giggled. Vanessa was mortified and quickly opened the door.

"Pearl I don't know what you're insinuating...well actually I do and I don't appreciate it. My wife and I were having a private conversation which we are perfectly entitled to do. It would be far more conducive for the surgery if you were to get on with your work than to fantasise about what my wife and I are doing behind a closed door."

Pearl sat down sheepishly at her desk as Charity came out planted a kiss on Vanessa's lips and said "later" before walking out the door with a pronounced bounce in her step.

That evening they made their way to the Woolpack to tell Chas they would be expecting visitors and to ask was it okay for Lonny and Levi to stay at the pub. Actually it was Vanessa who suggested they ask even though Charity still owned half the pub, it was afterall Chas and Paddys home but they could hardly refuse the request.

Sitting at the end of the bar Charity was enjoying a latte while Vanessa was on her second pint. Zac was chatting with Chas at the bar as Kim entered.

"What can I get you Kim?" Chas asked.

"Oh I think I'll have a double shot of your most expensive brandy"

"What's the occassion then?"

"Oh nothing much" she said smugly. Kim turned to Zac "and whatever Zac is having"

"Thank you very much very kind of you." He said.

Charity and Vanessa watched the scene unfold.

"Just a farewell drink you've been an interesting tenant."

"Ere what do ya mean? You're not trying to evict us again?"

"No not me but your new landlord might."

"Wha! I've got rights you know. I'm a sitting tenant."

"Not my problem anymore Zac but like I said your new landlord might. I've sold the cottage and land."

Zac was all in a flap.

"Don't worry uncle Zac surely they can't be worse than the last." Charity commented grinning.

"Not worse than the last? I might have no home." He raised his voice.

"Relax you said it yourself you're a sitting tenant you've got rights." Charity said calmly.

Chas eyed her suspiciously instantly sensing that Charity knew more than she was letting on.

Zac followed Kim trying to glean more information. Chas flew over to Charity.

"Okay so spill." She said in an exaggerated whisper.

"What?" Charity answered surprised.

"You never miss an opportunity for a fight especially with the Tates so what do you know?"

"Nothing babe."

Vanessa looked sheepish.

"And you Vanessa you can't even look at me" she whispered "what's going on."

Vanessa tried to look confused and shrugged her shoulders.

"Vanessa you've got more guilt than our Sammy when's he hiding something."

"Er babe we got visitors in a few days" Charity casually threw it out there.

"Oh and whose that then?"

"Ria and Gypsy they'll be staying with us. Lonny and Levi are coming too only for a few days, would you mind if they stayed over here?"

"In your old room?"

"Yeah they won't be no bother it'll be a chance for Paddy to get to know them" she laughed nervously with pleading eyes.

"Fine but I want no drunken antics"

"Don't worry Ria will read them the riot act."

"So why are they all coming over?" She asked.

"To see family, me, Ness and the kids."

Chas gave a drawn out "Right" indicating that she was not fully convinced.

Friday came around and Charity picked Ria and Gypsy up from the airport.

"Hey howa ya?" Asked Gypsy.

"Good yeah, bursting to tell everyone though."

"But you haven't?" Asked Ria.

"No course not.

"The boys left this morning, they're on the way up from Holyhead, they're just over an hour away."

Chas is suspicious though. Kim revealed to Zac she'd sold the place and he's in a flap thinking the new landlord is going to try and evict him."

Ria laughed "I think they're all in for a shock."

"Ness working?" Asked Gypsy.

"Yeah she's finishing early though. You going  to Wishing well today?"

"We'll go up and check the outbuildings later that's why we brought the van to clear stuff out. Might as well get started as soon as we can."

They arrived back at Jacobs Fold with time for a brew before picking Johnny and Moses up. Gypsy was going to collect them, Charity had informed the school the previous day.

Gypsy made her way to the school and waited for Johnny and Moses. The door opened and she could see them straining to get out. She stepped forward as they wriggled past the teacher and into her arms.

"Hey my wee cousins howa yous?"

"Can we go swings?" Asked Moses.

"Yeah come on then but only quickly because auntie Ria wants a cuddle"

Both of them were jumping around excitedly so she took hold of their hands one either side and headed towards the park. When they arrived back Vanessa was home and Lonny and Levi had arrived. Johnny and Moses were in their oils at all the attention and very excited with their visitors.

"You want to head to Wishing well after a brew?" Ria asked the twins.

"Ah might as well, can get a good look at what needs clearing and around the site."

"Gosh you'll be tired" said Vanessa.

"Not much time though and as long as there's a few cold pints at the end of it" laughed Levi.

"Yeah only a few, you're staying with Chas and Paddy at the pub so best behaviour." Warned Ria "plus there's a lot to do over the next few days."

"Days weeks and months Ma!" Lonny chipped in.

"Yeah well it will be worth it."

An hour later they all went to Wishing well. Charity left Johnny and Moses in the cottage with Lydia, Sam and Zac while they checked the outbuildings. Zac had been sleeping when they arrived, Sam and Lydia voiced their concerns about them poking around the land thinking Lonny and Levi were pilfering.

"Oh wind your necks in we're just having a look" Charity told them.

"Yeah well don't be trying any dirty scams or this new landlord might think its us. I know you Charity." Said Sam.

Ria gave him a look that silenced him and he backed off.

"Anyways someones already been there few weeks ago clearing stuff didn't say owt about buying it though. I fought Kim had got them in to do it, should o known she was up t summat."

They went up to the outbuildings, Sam was right most stuff had gone only useless rubbish left. Lonny and Levi started loading the van.
Ria talked about the plans, where their main house would be, the stables and the accommodation.

"I'd like you both to move here with us if you want to?" She said hopefully to Charity and Vanessa.

"How do you mean?" Asked Vanessa.

"You can either have a seperate unit converted in the accommodation block or you can live in the main house. You would have a separate part like your own house but connected by an internal door that can be locked if you want your own privacy. It means you can sit with us in the evenings or in your own place."

"Of course you'd be on hand for any emergencies Vanessa" added Gypsy "all your time paid for of course. You'd be our resident vet plus with the extra income from the contract here you could invest for more shares of your current practice or set up your own."

"Childminders in abundance as well" smiled Ria.

"Oh well that's done it for me" laughed Charity.

"I don't expect you to decide now but talk it over and let me know. Noah could live in the main house or in your house, Ryan could have a unit in the accommodation block if he's onboard."

"I'm sure he will be Ma." Said Gypsy.

"We just need to know before the plans are submitted and building starts."

"Right...wow" Charity was a little stunned so too was Vanessa.

They walked down towards the road and stood  a little way from Wishing well talking. Kim was riding past and turned up the path as she saw Lonny and Levi entering the buildings.

"Er what do you think you're doing? You"re trespassing not to mention thieving. That's private property."

"Respect missus but it's not your property" said Lonny.

"And we're not thieves" added Levi.

Ria stood her ground, Charity, Vanessa and Gypsy watched as Kim's expression showed even more disdain for them.

Zac and Sam came out to see what the commotion was.

"Put that stuff back that you've taken. I'm sure the new owner would be interested to know all about the Dingles." She said with her trademark smug smirk.

"She is the new owner" announced Charity.

Ria stared Kim down as Kim's smirk dropped and a frown appeared in it's place.

"Yer what?" Said Zac in disbelief.

"I don't think so" Kim recovered quickly.

Ria spoke "oh I know so because I purchased it. Glasway homes? Yep that's me, gave you a very good price n all. I'll even put business your way once ours is up and running. So I think you'll find you're the one who is trespassing on my land."

"Yeah so toodleloo." Charity quipped lifting her hand and wiggling her fingers bye bye.

Kim's face was like thunder as she turned her horse to leave.

"Er maybe we are thieves" Levi called after her "we stole this from right under yer nose" he laughed.

"That's enough" said Ria calmly.

"I enjoyed that moment" grinned Charity.

"You're our new landlord?" Said Zac.

"I am" Ria confirmed.

"Oh don't worry Uncle Zac she's not going to boot you out, don't know about you though Sammy" she laughed.

"Shut it Charity" he huffed.

"Hey" Ria said sternly  " you show her respect"

Sam looked down sheepishly.

"Come on we're finished here for the night." Said Ria.

News soon spread to the rest of the Dingles. The was uncertainty, shock and murmurings each one with their own thoughts on the revelations.
The plans remained top secret and would do until they were approved.

That night as they lay in bed Charity and Vanessa talked things over.

"Kim wasn't happy at all, I'm concerned Ria has made an enemy."

"Babe knowing our Ria I'd be more concerned for Kim if she tries to cross her. Don't worry Ria can more than handle Kim. I could tell you some stories from back in the day that would make your toes curl."

"I think I'd rather not know." Said Vanessa.

"Listen Ria's changed, she's so mellow now but the old Ria is still there when she needs her. She can handle herself and others."

"What do you think about moving there with them?"

"I think it would be great babe. I mean this is our home but what happens if Debbie comes back? Plus if we lived there you'd be onsite for a lot of your work. The childminders on tap won it for me." She laughed "but it's your decision too and if you're not happy we can stay here."

"I love the idea of the boys growing up on the farm, the family eating together of an evening and having the choice of sitting in our own lounge or the big lounge with everyone."

"So you'd rather live in a house attached to the main house?"

"Yeah"

"Me too" Charity beamed and pulled Vanessa close "so is that our decision?"

"Yeah let's do it." Vanessa grinned, inside she was so happy it was the life she had always wanted growing up. A big close family, living on a farm.

The next few days were spent surveying the land and finalising the plans. The conversion of the existing buildings and the location of the new builds in particular the family home.
Ria had been over the moon when Charity and Vanessa had informed her of their decision to live in a property attached to the main house.
Their part of the property would have 3 bedrooms, bathroom, lounge and kitchen and a connecting door through to the main house. Basically it was one big house but with their part self contained if they wanted privacy.

There was an indoor and outdoor menage, hay and straw storage, stables, tack rooms, utilitiy rooms and accommodation quarters so much to plan but Gypsy had plans already that just needed tweaking before submission.

Ria had informed Zac the pigs must be moved to the side of the property as she didn't want guests to be greeted by the smell. She also instructed Sam to clear the front of wishing well where scrap and junk had amassed over the years.

As soon as approval was given the constuction would begin.

Kim had kept a generally low profile since the encounter. She had as Ria guessed gone back over their deal with more detail and Glasway homes. Kim was furious but had to admit to herself and no.one else that she was slightly impressed by Ria's wile. However impressed she may have been the encounter had watered the seed of bitterness in Kims heart and she had been nursing and cultivating it ever since determined to show Ria that no one gets one over on her, especially not a Dingle and most certainly not the sibling of one Charity fucking Dingle.

They worked hàrd over the next few days clearing the site. The plans were submitted with the local authority planning office. Ria and Gypsy flew back to Ireland with Lonny and Levi leaving the van in Emmerdale. There were plenty of vehicles to bring over so it made sense to leave it with Charity.
They had accepted the offer on their place in Ireland and now had the unenviable task of packing up a farm to relocate. There was no concern regarding the plans for the trekking centre Ria was confident they'd be passed but the problem was how quickly as work needed to begin.

"We might be living in feckin caravans on site" she said to Charity one evening when they video called.

"You can stay here"

"I hope it doesn't come to that!"

"Well if it does. Hey you can always take over Wishing Well" Charity laughed.

Ria laughed too "hm that's an idea"

"Any idea how long it will be? I know you..you'll have contacts who can give you info"

"Top secret Charity" Ria smiled "Gypsy's starting to move the horses over this week."

"Hm something tells me you're going to hear very soon."

"Bye Charity"

"Bye big sis" Charity laughed, she still couldn't believe it at times, it stunned her that she had a big sister. At other times it felt the most natural thing in the world, like they'd always known and always been sisters. One thing she did know was that she liked it.

Eight weeks passed when Ria finally was granted permission for the development of the centre. She quickly had Lonny and Levi sent go to Emmerdale to oversee the construction. The contractors had been on standby so it was now full steam ahead.
Lonny and Levi did indeed park a caravan on the land and lived onsite which started rumours among the villagers that it was to be an allocated travellers site.

Charity was sat at the end of the bar one night having a cuppa talking to Lonny when they overheard Brenda talking about the site being used for travellers. Lonny started talking loudly to Levi.

" How many caravans are coming up next week?"

"About 20"

Brenda's eyes went wide.

"And how many of dem Hells Angels will be joining them?"

"Oh let me think now...aye about 100"

Brenda's mouth moved but nothing came out.

"Ah so quiet week then"

"Yeah but the week after is full on"

Charity laughed.

"Oh you think it's okay all this?" She said accusingly to Charity.

"Oh chill Brenda they're winding you up"

"Well there's something going on up there."

"Yes and you'll find out in good time" snapped Charity.

The construction of the farmhouse was priority and was completed first. The wagons rolled up with the furniture having transported it across the sea. Charity and Vanessa had chosen the decor for their home and were preparing for their move from Jacobs Fold to the farm. The boys were excited about living on a farm and even Noah seemed keen. Noah had chosen a room in the main part of the house.

"Oh babe this place makes Home Farm look like a cottage!" Exclaimed Charity.

"I know I can't wait until it's fully completed."

"Ria's got Ryan building their website. There's bookings already. The deadline for completion is 6 months."

The farm in Ireland had been sold and packed up with the family all now living in Emmerdale. Each night they sat down together to eat with Uncle Zac and the other inhabitants from Wishing Well often joining them. Sometimes Ria would send their meal over to the cottage.

Lydia had accepted a position of housekeeper and would look after the accommodation and needs of the residents that were holidaying at the center.

It was a busy night at the Woolpack, business had increased noticably with Ria's boys and the construction workers. Most had come over from Ireland to work on the project and would eat at the pub washing their food down with a good few pints.

This particular evening the Dingles were all in the bar when Kim entered. She took a look around the room and stood at the bar to order.

"Gone really downmarket this place." She sneered.

Ria sat at the end of the bar and didn't take the bait from Kim.

"Only since you walked in" said Charity.

Lonny stepped forward "here Mrs T let me get you your favourite tipple, call it a goodwill offering."

"No thanks I'll get my own. I'll have a brandy please Chas."

Lonny was stood in the middle of the pub with a pint of guiness in his hand when he started singing his own slant on the pirates of the caribbean hoist the colours...quietly in a whisper....
'Yo ho haul together...hoist the colours high...yo ho thieves and beggars Dingles til we die... (he increased the volume)

Yo ho haul together...hoist the colours high...

Lonny became more theatrical the louder he sang.

...yo ho thieves and beggars we're Dingles til we die..

Ryan started singihg along banging his fist on the table, uncle Zac joined in, Levi,Sol and Paddy!

After the third round of singing they ended with a loud raucous cheer.

Chas was horrified "Paddy what are you doing?"

"I'm a Dingle" he said.

"You're the local vet you're not a thief or a beggar" she said in disbelief.

Vanessa giggled behind her pint.

Ria spoke up dryly "and neither are my boys..they're just having a bit of fun that's all"

Chas went quiet.

"I think I'll go and drink somewhere with a bit more elegance" Kim said snootily.

"Won't you be lonely drinking yourself at Home Farm?" Grinned Charity "and you need to pay for that brandy it's been poured already."

"Captain Jack Sprat will pay" kim said nodding in Lonny's direction and with that she turned and walked out of the door.

Stifled chuckles littered the room as Lonny
picked up the brandy and knocked it back.

"Aye me hearties" he mimiced like a pirate.

"Nice one son" Zac was still laughing, he had a new lease of life around the twins revelling in their antics.

Cain was sat in the corner still refusing to be happy that Ria and her family had moved to Emmerdale.

Lonny disappeared from the pub.

"Looks like we're in for a late one" said Ria "I know where Lonny's gone."

"Where?" Vanessa asked.

" oh he'll be back shortly."

Sure enough Lonny appeared again with Samson and Noah in tow banging and clanging through the door carrying a guitar, bouzouki, bodhran and fiddle.

"Here you go boys."

Sol got up with a smile to give him a hand. The instruments were tuned and an air of excitement filled the room.

"Uncle Zac this ones for you." Shouted Levi.

They started playing and Levi sung....

'Hillbilly rock hillbilly roll stand in line and away we go...little bit of moonshine...'

Zac was swinging his pint around and cheering, Bob took over the vocals and before they knew it people were up dancing. Charity was twirling Vanessa round jiving away. The Woolpack was bouncing and the till kept ringing. It certainly was a late one....

Chapter Text

The next day there were plenty of sore heads around the village. The music and dancing had gone on late and although it was a raucous evening the majority of people enjoyed it. In fact the only complaints were from the neighbours when Lonny and Levi had a boxing match on the road after kicking out time. Sol had quickly intervened so it wasn't a real drama except for when Levi shouted at Brenda that she's more than happy to have something to bump her gums about. That in turn earned him a boot up the arse from Ria when she found out. Somewhere along the way Zak had lost his shoes, Lonny had urinated in the Woolpack flower pots and one of the benches from outside the pub had somehow found its way to Wishing Well. Of course no one owned up to how it came to be there.
The twins had an earbashing from Ria and Charity and knew there would be more later  from Chas. Chas was already at Wishing Well looking for Paddy who had passed out on the sofa as the party had continued there when the pub closed.

"Aww me ed" moaned Zak as he came down the stairs. He spotted Chas standing in the living room with her arms folded looking very cross and tried to turn around quickly back up the stairs.

"Oh no you don't" Chas bellowed "you can get out there with the other goonies and get that table back to the woolpack"

"Eh" he grunted genuinely perplexed.

"Some of yous I don't know who but you were all in it together, lifted the bench and table and carried it up here. I don't know how yous done it and I don't care just get it back now"

"I didn't touch any table" he protested.

"No but you were there and you fell off it when you were sitting on it out there singing in the early hours"

"A wasn't" he carried on protesting.

"Lydia told me" Chas said confidently.

Lydia looked sheepish.

"Eh an our Sammy were there too" he said accusingly to Lydia.

"Well Sammy has scarpered said he had to feed the pigs because Lydia scolded 'im. Oh and by the way uncle Zak one of your shoes is hanging in the bush on the road."

Paddy was sitting frozen in the same position hoping Chas would forget he was there, no such luck.

"And you Paddy you should know better......" she went on and on and on... Paddy could see her mouth moving but not many words were registering. Suddenly she turned and left marching up round to the farmhouse.

Chas opened the door to the smell of a cooked breakfast and went straight through to the kitchen where a very quiet Lonny and Levi were eating breakfast.
Ria and Gypsy were clanging pots loudly close to them while Johnny and Moses laughed because Charity and Vanessa were not doing a good job of hiding their own amusement.

"Ah the joys of sobriety" breezed Charity looking at Chas and smiling which quickly disappeared when she saw Chas's thunderous look.

"What's up with your gob?" She asked Chas.

"They stole the table from the woolpack last night and its outside Wishing Well"

"Yeah they're taking it back" answered Charity sounding unconcerned.

"Is that all you've got to say?" Ranted Chas as Ria stood observing and listening "Uncle Zak lost his shoes, Paddy didn't come home"

"Ah" Charity interrupted her "that's why you're pissed off" Charity poked her finger at Chas.

"Language Charity..the kids" warned Vanessa.

Chas took no notice "No Charity and talking of piss which one of you pissed in the plant pots?" She looked accusingly at the twins.

Ria's face changed as she flew over to the twins "what? One of you pissed in the plantpots...you dirty feckin eejits..I didn't rare you like that. Get of your arses get that table back, swill your piss from the plants and clean up any other mess you left behind" and with that she lifted their half eaten breakfasts and put them in the bin.

Vanessa winced at the barrage of language.

The twins knew better than to argue and left the kitchen to head over to the cottage.

"Pith" Moses giggled, Johnny put his hands to his mouth and whispered back to Moses "pith" and they both giggled.

Vanessa huffed and gave a look of annoyance to Chas, Charity and Ria.

"Sorry love" said Ria looking at the boys.

 "Auntie Ria was naughty saying them words no sweeties for her today. They were bad words" and Gypsy tapped Ria on her hand.

Moses and Johnny looked up at her doe eyed and she smiled. As she turned away from them she heard Moses whisper "pith" at Johnny which set them off giggling again.

"Moz stop that" warned Charity.

"Oh it's too late now" quipped Vanessa "go on Moz, Johnny you might as well say it as many times as you can, go on get it all out"

"Pith pith pith" they both giggled Vanessa sat with a straight face until they got bored and the word wasn't funny anymore.

"Well that's one way of dealing with it" shrugged Charity.

Ryan had been eating his breakfast quietly on the far side of the huge table.

"Thought you'd be on your the way to the bank this morning....must have made a fortune last night" he laughed.

"An you should be helping them 'n all mister yo ho an a bottle of rum last night" snarked Chas.

"Can't I've got a bad case of the shakes today" he said smartly holding out his hand to show them.

"Yeah an so have they the amount they drank" moaned Chas.

"Ryan's right though babe ch..ching" winked Charity.

Over at Wishing Well Paddy,Sammy,Lonny,Levi and Marlon were lifting the table into the pick up under Zaks supervsion..

"Now how the feck did we carry it last night" said Lonny scratching his head.

"That superstrength rum you were knocking back" laughed Marlon.

Paddy balked at the mention of rum.

"Go on big man" laughed Levi slapping him on the back.

The laughter stopped and they looked busy as Chas strode past and got into the passenger seat of the pick up. The rest piled in the back and they headed to the pub stopping to retrieve Zaks shoe from the bushes on the way.

"That's no feckin good one shoe." Laughed Lonny.

"Shut it you they're me favourite shoes, keep your mince pies peeled and look out for the other." Instructed Zak.

"Y'alright there big man?" Asked Lonny looking at Paddy. Paddy was still green in the face clutching his stomach. Marlon tried to hide his mirth at Paddy's sorry state but failed.

"What's up ....... you got wind?" Asked Levi laughing as Marlon's smirk vanished.

Paddy scowled at Marlon.

"Ah don't be laughin at the big fella...he can't help bein a lightweight at the drink" Lonny teased "int that right Paddy green gills" he chuckled.

"It's his own fault" Marlon protested turning his gaze to Paddy "nobody poured it down yer throat and if it helps, my heads bustin n all."

"Call yourselves Dingles? All that shite about drinkin from the welly...paddy green gills here threw up in his wellys last night"

They all laughed except Paddy who was wondering how he could get Vanessa or Rhona to cover his on call tonight.

With the table returned back to the pub, the flower pots hosed down and Zac's other shoe having been located the day carried on with no further incident except for Paddy's dilemas. He was still trying to work out how to get cover for his on call and creep around Chas while nursing his hangover.

The work continued on the centre, they were due to open in 3 months and had already taken bookings.
The furniture was ordered for the accommodation block along with bedding, curtains, carpets. Lydia was a little overwhelmed at the scale of the project but was assured by Ria that once everything was set up she'd soon get her own routine and would be more than capable of managing the housekeeping.

One evening Charity and Ria were sat in the lounge, well, Ria was sat in her Queen Anne with her feet up and Charity was laying on the sofa.
The boys were still out on the yard working while Vanessa and Gypsy were at the horse sales wheeling and dealing.

"Charity what do you think about taking in 2  volunteers from the recovery centre?"

"How do mean?"

"We'd only take them if they're committed to their recovery. It's like giving some one a chance, meaningful activities goes a long way in getting clean. I want to give someone a chance to sort their life out, get off the streets. Someone who's maybe living in a hostel or NFA. They could live in their own room in the accommodation block, earn a wage then eventually move on with a tenancy history and a job reference. What do you think?"

"Hm hard to say, great idea but could be messy, loads of issues, big headache."

"Yeah but if Paddy hadn't given me a chance all those years ago I wouldn't be in this position now."

"What does Gypsy think?"

"She'd give anyone a chance if she thought it could change their lives. I know there's a risk and they'd be under supervision. They'd only be allowed here if they're giving clean piss tests and on script. It wouldn't be in the near future we need to establish this place first but it's something I'd like to do eventually."

"Yeah at least it might save someone being exploited by a bent copper" Charity sighed.

"I wish you'd told me back then."

"No point really, it was done, I just wanted to forget about him and his cronies...and my baby."

"Charity...I hate that you went through that. I hate that I could have treated you better and I'm sorry."

"What for? We were both fucked up both addicts and it was about surviving and we did, there's nothing more to say." Charity shrugged it off "the past is the past and I'd rather not talk about it. I done enough talking in the counselling room, more than I wanted to." She laughed.

Ria looked at her for a while "you amaze me Charity."

Charity looked up from her magazine surprised "oh?"

"You're so resiliant, strong."

Charity laughed "trust me I've had to be just like you had to be...I do have my moments but Ness understands, she's my rock. Before her I was just surviving but when we got together she showed me what love is meant to be and I started living really living not just surviving."

Ria chuckled "aye Paddy did that for me..love is powerful"

"Er enough now Ria I don't do mushy makes me ill."

Ria just laughed "you want a hot drink ice queen, thaw you out a bit?"

Charity laughed "Ness does that..but seeing as she's not here a coffee will do." She put her magazine down and stretched as Ria went into the kitchen.
The door opened Johnny and Moses ran in excitedly, Moses shurugged his coat off letting it fall onto the floor while Johnny went to Charity to help him remove his.
Tracey followed them "oh look at you lady of leisure while I've been run ragged by these two."

"The perks of being an Auntie eh...you get to drop them home when you've had enough."

Tracey flopped down onto the other sofa.

"Ness still out?"

"No she's squashed in here beside me she's just so small you can't see her."

"Haha Charity" Tracey fake smiled jokingly.

"You want a brew love?" Ria shouted through from the kitchen.

"Don't mind if I do."

"Well if you're staying you can take these two up for their bath." Charity waved her hand towards Johnny and Moses.

"And you can just bog off lazy bones. You need to be careful Charity you'll be gettin bed sores off that sofa." Tracey laughed.

"I have to rest, saving my energy for Ness haven't seen her all day." She winked.

"Eurgh TMI." Tracey winced "that's my sister."

"Yep but she's my wife"

Tracey fake yawned "wondered when you'd drop that in the convo you always do."

Charity smiled and so did Tracey, she was happy for her sister who seemed to be living her best life.

Ria came through with the drinks.

"You staying for tea love?" Ria asked Tracey.

"Er..yeah okay."

"Well you can definitely bath these pair"  Charity nodded towards the boys "Auntie Tracey's going to bath you, you'd like that wouldn't you boys?"

"Charity" squealed Tracey.

"Aw you can't disappoint them now Trace"

Johnny and Moses were climbing over Tracey giggling.

"Alright alright let me finish me coffee first." Tracey huffed good humouredly glaring at Charity.

Tracey bathed the boys letting them stay in the tub playing longer than usual. She didn't mind...in fact she enjoyed being at the farmhouse, the noise, the banter, the closeness the only problem was it sometimes exacerbated the loneliness back at Tug Ghyll.

She brought the boys back down all fresh in their pjs to a roaring fire. The lounge was empty but she could hear the noise in the kitchen.
The door opened Vanessa and Gypsy came in. Moses and Johnny ran to Vanessa, she crouched down for kisses and cuddles and they moved on to Gypsy.
Charity walked through from the kitchen and into Vanessa's arms meeting her lips with hers.

"Hmm makes it worth going out for the whole day coming home to this" Vanessa cooed.

"Trust me babe there's much more than that later" Charity winked.

"Eurgh Charity." Tracey rolled her eyes.

Vanessa chuckled knowing Charity was winding Tracey up but also because she knew Charity actually meant it.

Ria's voice came booming from the kitchen "Go n give the fella's a shout Gyp, foods up."

"Right Ma" and with that she went out again to the yard to find her brothers.

Noah and Ryan had been upstairs playing on the xbox but the noise from downstairs and the smell of food had drawn them out of Noah's cave to join the others.

The house was warm, the fire roared, the delicious smell of home cooking and the bustle of many people and their voices filled the air, it was a home well lived in.
The boys entered with the smell of outdoors and hint of oil and grease from working on the tractors while the rest of the site gang traipsed down the pub for their evening meal.
Marlon had his work cut out keeping the workers satisfied with 3 meals a day. Ria paid a flat fee weekly for their food which gave a good profit for the pub. Chas had been working non stop with the increased custom in the pub as the workies enjoyed a pint or seven each evening. The only downside was the odd complimentary drink thrown in for the locals as they complained on the nights the workies were a bit more rowdy. Chas understood, she herself could only take so much and knew most of the lyrics to 'Poor Paddy works on the railway' and 'the rare ould times' to name few.

As they sat down at the table Shivvy took a few plates over to wishing well.

"Tell them to bring my bloody plates back they've got a stack of them now" shouted Ria as she was scooping potatoes onto her plate.

"Ma where's the butter?" asked Levi with a chunk of bread in his hands.

"There you hole" snapped Gypsy as she clipped his ear.

Vanessa sat with Moses who as usual preferred to eat with his fingers. Johnny was on Tracey's knee.

"Anyone going the pub tonight?" Tracey asked.

"I'll go wid ya" offered Gypsy.

"Oooh tryin to get a kop off wid Vanman" Lonny teased. (Vanman was actually called Michael but as he drove the works van that's what they called him and no one else knew him by any other name)

"No" said Tracey a bit too quickly and with a creeping blush that the more she tried to stop the more it spread!

Vanessa laughed "Trace you've gone beetroot"

"Ahhhh Tracey's got a not so secret crush" teased Charity.

"Charity! No I aven't and stop being so childish the lot of you." She protested.

There was a chorus of "wooooo"

"Leave her alone, if she's got a crush it's her business" Ria attempted to put an end to the teasing.

"Ria I haven't got a crush!" She continued to protest as her voice reached a squeak.

"Take no notice Trace, we might just go into Hotten instead and check out the talent there eh?" Gypsy winked.

"Well we'll be spending the night in front of the fire, hot chocolate and early night" winked Charity.

"Eurgh don't want to know about your early night thanks. Anyway the time it takes you to peel yourself off that sofa once you get on it V will be upstairs already sleeping." Tracey quipped back.

Vanessa listened to the banter back and forth, the feeling washed over her again and warmed her inside. She loved the family she had now, she loved that Charity had this and that her boys were growing up knowing the security of a close knit family.
She marvelled in those moments at how things had changed, the trials they had faced and overcome and the stage in their lives they were in now. She looked at Charity and was so pleased, so proud of her wife...yes her wife! In these moments she had to almost pinch herself. Charity caught her eye and smiled, Vanessa smiled back and an unspoken I love you passed between them.
Ryan saw it and he suddenly didn't feel like eating anymore as the sadness came over him again and settled on his heart. He scraped his left overs into the bin, rinsed his plate quickly and put it in the dish washer and went into the lounge.

The banter carried on round the table, Lonny joined Ryan in the lounge settling himself in Ria's Queen Anne by the fire reading a copy of farmers weekly.
Ryan was looking at the TV screen but he really wasn't watching.

Tracey walked through from the kitchen "I'm off" she told them.

"Seeya Trace I'll make sure Vanmans staying out for a few tonight" teased Lonny.

"Shut it" she said over her shoulder as she left.

Ryan sat silent still staring at the TV.

Vanessa came through followed by Johnny and Moses who climbed up beside her and on top of her on the sofa. She kissed their heads and inhaled the smell of them deeply as she did so.

"You okay Ryan?" She asked.

Ryan acknowkedged her with a grunt. 'Trust Ness' he thought 'she would notice, that's how she is, caring and interested in people' he shifted uncomfortably as she reached out and touched him on the arm her face soft with concern.
He turned and smiled "yeah I'm fine, tired that's all."
Vanessa wasn't convinced and he knew it.
"I'm going home to rest, I'll be fine after a good nights sleep."
He got up and left without saying bye to anyone. Vanessa was worried but she didn't want to concern Charity until she had a chance to talk with Ryan alone. She'd nip over later to see him, he'd already moved into his flat in the accommodation block. Vanessa would find an opportunity to call in on him later.

After the tea was cleared Ria,Vanessa, Charity,  Sol, Shivvy and Noah were sat in the lounge while Johnny, Moses, Cian and Padraig played with their cars in the middle of the floor.Roisin was sitting on Vanessa's knee having cuddles and singing nursey ryhmes with her.

"Okay Roisin time for your bed" said Shiv.

"Neth" she shouted throwing herself closer into Vanessa's body indicating she wanted Vanessa to put her to bed.

"I have to check on the horses sweetie" she said giving her a kiss on the head and stroking her hair.

"Oh since when?" Asked Charity.

"I just want to check over Frost he looked lame earlier on so I'm monitoring him. I won't be long. You can take the boys up, Roisin sweetheart I'll pop in and see you later and kiss you night night okay?"

Roisin was content with this and hopped down going around the room for her night night kisses before going up with Shivvy.

"Right er I'll just pop out and see Frost." Vanessa excused herself, she was glad Gypsy had gone to Traceys so Charity couldn't question her about Frost, not that she would but Vanessa was paranoid when she told a fib.

Vanessa crossed the yard Banjo the collie stood from his sleeping guard position, wagged his tail and dutifully followed her. She dropped her hand and he pushed his wet nose into her palm as a greeting.

"Hey boy you being my guardian?" She smiled at him.

She knocked at Ryan's door, he answered surprised to see her.

"Hey..can I come in?"

"Mm yeah" he said walking back in, Vanessa followed and closed the door behind her. Banjo sat outside on guard waiting for Vanessa.

Ryan sat down in his chair and Vanessa sat on the two seater.

"I just wanted to pop in and see you're okay...you seemed quiet earlier." She said hesitantly.

"I told you I'm just tired."

I've seen you tired before Ryan and this is more. You seem down. What's happened?"

Ryan sighed..tears stung his eyes as he fought to keep them back.

"Okay now I know there's something wrong"

Ryan sniffed as his nose started to snot. Vanessa prepared as ever pulled a pack of tissues from her pocket and handed him one. She sat in silence until he had composed himself.
He exhaled forcibly and stared at the wall.

"You seemed okay before tea was something said when we were eating that upset you?" She continued gently.

He shook his head and looked down.

Vanessa waited.

He knew he had to speak "I don't want to ruin your happiness"

"What? What do you mean?" She gently smiled "how would you ruin my happiness?"

"You and mum are so happy. I saw you looking at each other and it just made me feel sad."

"Why?" She asked puzzled and unsure if she wanted this conversation to continue.

"I look at her so happy...and I know I caused her so much pain and I can't explain it I just...I hate myself for it."

Vanessa was shocked, Ryan had never spoke like this before.

"I see the family now, everyone is so close and happy and I'm just the kid she had when she was raped" Ryan broke down as Vanessa's heart came apart wanting nothing more than to take him in her arms and comfort him.

"Ryan I had no idea you ever felt this way."

"It was sort of there but I didn't really think about it. Mum seemed so happy to know me and that I was alive. I never knew she thought I'd died I thought she had abandoned me because she didn't want me. When I found out the truth I understood. She was young and what she had gone through. There was nothing to forgive her for I understood."

"What's changed?" She gently probed.

"Nuthin...I guess I'm thinking more"

"Thinking? Something must have triggered these thoughts"

Ryan felt sick but he had stewed on this too long and was weighed down even more with each passing day. He thought about telling her, thought about not telling her, the consequences, the fact that he could just ignore what was going on but he was too messed up inside now and needed to get it out.

"He wrote to me" he said slowly.

"What? Who?" Vanessa suddenly felt sick as she already knew in her heart who he meant but she didn't want it to be true.

"Bails...Mark Bails" he spat the name out with disgust.

Vanessa stuttered, no words would form. She composed herself.

"When? What did he say?" She asked in disbelief.

"I got it a week ago. He said wants to get to know me. He said that he wants me to know the truth, that it was twisted lies in court and I deserve the truth. He said there's things I should know and that he is going to appeal."

"No...no...he's lying Ryan. He's a vile disgusting excuse of a human being and he's just trying to make trouble."

"He's my dad Ness I carry his DNA and I can't do anything about it and I hate myself for that."

"No Ryan you are amazing, you might have his DNA but he is not and never will be your father. I know the circumstances around your conception were difficult for your mum"

"Difficult!" He cut her off "Ness she was held hostage by him and he forced himself on her again and again and that's how I came to be in this world. You have no idea what that is like, I live with his guilt that he doesn't even carry himself"

"Ryan he's messing with your head, it's what he does, don't let that man destroy you, you're the most wonderful amazing young man. Your mum loves you so much and is so glad to have you back in her life. I'm so glad to have you in my life, you're a part of me too! My son! You mightn't have my DNA but I love you as my own son Don't let this man have any space in your head."

"He's already there" he said quietly "and I can't get him out." He looked so downcast Vanessa went to him and put her arms around him.

"Ryan don't let him destroy you."

Ryan sighed deeply.

"Ryan we have to tell your mum" Vanessa's voice was almost a whisper.

"No she's had enough to deal with, I don't want to upset her. She might start drinking again"

"Ryan I can't keep this from her, it would destroy us if I did that and she found out down the line. She's strong you have to trust her. She won't go back down that route"

"See I told you I would ruin your happiness"

"No Ryan you haven't ruined our happiness, you have done nothing wrong this is all him. We deal with this as a family, together and we get through it together." Vanessa sighed "I'll speak to her, I'll pick my moment. Is that okay or would you prefer to tell her together?"

"No you best speak to her...I can't face her hurt when she finds out. I think it's best to come from you

Vanessa nodded slowly and stood up.

Ryan looked up at her tears in his eyes "I'm sorry Ness"

"You've nothing to be sorry about but you need to believe that. Stop beating yourself up Ryan. It's not how you began life that matters its the person you have become and you need to believe that Ryan or else he will destroy you. This is what he does, he's an abuser and it's all about power for him. Don't give him the power over your life to destroy you and our family."

Ryan gave a slight nod.

"Don't be worrying. We will face it together, leave it with me."

"Thanks Ness"

She smiled and let herself out. Banjo was waiting for her, he rose to his feet wagging his tail and fell in step beside her as she crossed the yard. As she neared the door to the farm house Banjo left her again and resumed his guard duties. Vanessa took a deep breath, pushed the turmoil inside her down and entered the house.....

Chapter Text

Vanessa entered the warmth of the farmhouse where Charity was laying in her favourite spot on the sofa. Ria was in her Queen Anne, the tv was on but Charity was focussed on her crossword. Ria was reading while Sol was on the other sofa engrossed in some farming programme on the tv.
It usually warmed Vanessa to see them like this, Charity had seemed so content lately and so relaxed in the midst of her family. Tonight Vanessa felt the coldness within that had taken residence when Ryan had told her the news. 'Poor Ryan' she thought to herself and although she too now carried the burden she was glad he had opened up to her. She unconsciously sighed as she sat down next to her love and rested her hand on Charity's thigh.

"Bad news?" Asked Charity.

Vanessa snapped herself out of her thoughts "what?" She asked momentarily confused.

"Has his leg dropped off?" Charity teased.

"Who?"

"The beast, Frost"

"Oh..no..er..he's fine"

"So why the long face?" Charity laughed at her own joke. "Do you like what I did there babe? Long face...horse..ha" she laughed again.

Ria raised her eyes above her book but didn't move her head, she was quick to pick up Vanessa's inner turmoil.

Vanessa laughed and playfully tapped Charity's thigh. "Brew anyone?" She asked getting up to put the kettle on. Ria dropped her eyes and carried on discreetly reading the room while looking at the pages in front of her.

Vanessa went out to the kitchen.

"A horses headpiece 6 letters ends in e" said Charity aloud.

"Bridle" answered Ria.

"Thank you" she quipped penning the word in.

Vanessa came through from the kitchen with the drinks and sat down idly watching a cow on the tv having a boil lanced.

Charity glanced at the screen just at that moment "eurgh do we have to" she said in disgust.

"You should see it for real especially the ones that explode when you pierce them" Vanessa laughed.

"Er no thanks..I'd rather not..that's disgusting, I'd rather keep my fantasy that you cuddle fluffy bunnies and kittens all day"

"Oh I've lanced a fair few boils in my time" she said trying to caress Charity's face with her hands as Charity batted them away.

"Stop it" Charity whined as Vanessa giggled before getting up and going to look in on Johnny and Moses. She went back into the lounge and up the stairs checking in on Roisin who was already asleep, she bent down and kissed her head and left the room quietly going back to the lounge

Later that evening everyone had gone to bed except for Ria who pottered about in the kitchen until Gypsy came home.

"How's your night love?" She asked Gypsy.

"Yeah was good, Trace has a date with Vanman" she laughed.

"Be careful, don't encourage them too much he's going back soon."

Gypsy laughed again "she's just havin a bit of fun Ma"

"How's the horses? Any problems?" Ria asked.

"No..why?" Gypsy asked puzzled.

"Ness said Frost was lame this morning, she went out to check on him after tea said he's okay now."

Gypsy was confused "she said nothing to me."

"No I didn't think she did, I don't think he was lame. I think there's something going on with Ryan."

"Feck Ma is there nothing that doesn't get past you?"

Ria sighed.

"Say nothing Gypsy..I'll sort it."

"Night Ma"

"Night love"

Ria stood one had on her hip in the kitchen. She'd already deduced in her head that the problem involved Ryan, Ness knew what was troubling him and it was serious enough to either keep from Charity or it needed a carefully picked moment to tell her.
Ria was fiercely protective of her own and that now included Charity, Vanessa and Ryan.

The next day Vanessa was in the surgery on duty. Ria dropped by with a latte, Pearl didn't bother saying Vanessa was busy. With Charity she enjoyed being obstructive even though she was often shot down by Charity's caustic tongue but with Ria it was different. You could see it in them both, the same look not to be messed with but with Ria it was deeper and yet she was the more friendly of the two sisters. Everyone knew there was an invisible line and to take care that you didn't cross it.

"Hey Ria" Vanessa greeted her.

"Ness, brought you a latte" as she stretched her hand out to give her the cup.

"O...ka..y" Vanessa drawled sensing the was a reason for this unusual visit. "What's this about?"

Ria smiled and decided to dive straight in "what's going on with Ryan?"

Vanessa looked down and feigned innocence "dunno why?"

"Ness it's me you're talking to so let's just skip the bull and spill. Frost was never lame..if you're going to make a habit of lying you need some lessons love." She smiled.

Vanessa rolled her eyes "and are you going to give me lessons?"

"If you want"

"Ria" she sighed "Ryan's had a letter from Bails. He wants him to visit him, he said he's appealing and that it was lies in the courtroom and that there are things Ryan should know. Ryan's been feeling like an outsider, that he's just the kid Charity had when she was raped and it's eating him up. He is carrying guilt for what happened to Charity and it's not his guilt to carry"

Ria nodded slowly "Charity doesn't know"

"No but I have to tell her, we don't keep things from each other."

"Will Ryan contact him?"

"Don't know yet"

"Okay" and with that Ria left the coffee and went to leave.

Vanessa called after her "don't say anything to Charity not yet."

"Course not that's for you to do love" and she was gone.

When Vanessa arrived home she managed to catch Ryan in his flat alone.

"Hey Ryan..so have you decided what you're doing?"

Ryan still looked unhappy "I'm going to see him, going to tell him exactly what I think of him and that there's no way I would support an appeal in fact I'd say quite the opposite.
Have you told mum yet?"

"No...I'm picking my time carefully, she'll be upset but she'll cope. She's strong and in a good place."

"You sure she won't relapse?"

"Never say never, even she knows that but I'm confident. Last time there was a lot of stuff going on and she didn't tell me. That's why she relapsed she tried to carry it alone. We promised each other no more secrets, she'll be fine. Er...Ria knows"

"What? Why?"

" Because she's seems to know bloody everything, she's like a flamin witch sometimes. She clocked something was wrong with you and caught me lying about one of the horses being lame which was the excuse I used to go out and see you" she said running out of breath "anyway she knows".

"What did she say?"

"Not much at all but she won't tell Charity she said that's my job basically."

"I've already booked a visit for next week, you better tell mum soon."

Vanessa left and crossed the yard to the farmhouse.

That night when they went up to bed Vanessa turned to Charity.

"Charity...I popped into see Ryan yesterday."

"Mmhm" she acknowledged while removing her make up and looking at Ness through the mirror.

"He's not been himself lately." She hesitated.

"Oh?" Charity stopped what she was doing but continued to watch Vanessa through the mirror. "Ness just spit it out"

"He had a letter" she paused "from Bails" she sighed waiting and allowing Charity to respond in whatever way she needed to and then she would pick up the pieces.

"What did it say?" Charity's response was matter of fact, cold and detatched it took Vanessa by surprise

"He wants to see Ryan, says it was lies and that there's stuff Ryan should know and....he's appealing." Vanessa winced as she said it.

"Oh is that right is it." Still sounding cold. Her mood changed "I'm tired Ness..night" she kissed Vanessa and got into bed turning her back to Vanessa. She knew this behaviour, she knew when Charity was hurting, she got in beside her draped her arm across her waist and spooned in close. Charity took hold of her hand as the tears dripped onto her pillow, she swallowed them down and Vanessa knew so she scooched in closer and held her tighter through the night.

Morning came and no more was said. Vanessa was first for breakfast while Charity dressed Moses n Johnny.
Giving them their breakfast in the kitchen all the kids were in there at once which was tricky as they tended to disrupt each other.

Ria came in "ah Charity come into town with me today, I'm picking  bedding for the accommodation units"

"I'm going over the accounts today and stock"

"Ah come on will ya' when do we get time to shop together. We'll do lunch my treat"

"Mm okay deal"

"Oh well you two enjoy, I'm off to work" said Vanessa kissing Charity, then the boys and wee Roisin who adored her Neth. "Bye" she waved and was gone.

Gypsy entered the kitchen.

"Gyp will you take the boys to school?" Charity rushed.

"Why aren't you taking them?"

"I want to catch up with Ryan...pleeease"

"Okay sure come on boys let's get yr coats"

They jumped up and down excited and ran for their coats.

"You okay love?" Ria asked Charity.

"Yeah catch you later, what time we leaving?"

"10 ok?"

"Yeah"

Charity went out through the door and across to Ryans.

She knocked and stood back giving him time to open.
Banjo sat looking at her, she never gave him attention but he still followed her around the yard as if it was his duty or until he decided to patrol elsewhere. 'Silly mutt' she thought to herself.
Ryan opened the door.

"Oh it's you"

"Well that's nice isn't it"

Ryan was awkwardly quiet.

"Ryan" she breathed "talk to me"

"Seems like you know what's going on"

"Yes but I want to hear from you what's going on in your head"

"Trust me you don't"

"Yes I do"

Ryan sighed and sat down.

"I just don't feel I belong here. I'm just the product of a violent and degrading act against you"

"What?"

"You know Bails and what he done. That is how I came to be."

"Ryan...no.. don't even think like that. You're a miracle, my son the most amazingly fantastic and fulfilling thing to happen in what was a shitty situation, but you, you turned it round for me. Having you was so special and then devastating when I thought you'd died but then I found you again! Ryan I love you, my firstborn son."

"But I'm his too, I carry his DNA, his genes and I hate that, I hate him and I just want to forget he is my biological dad but I can't."

"Well no, not when he's sending you letters you can't"

"I'm going to see him to tell him to leave me and our family alone. I want nothing to do with him ever."

"Can't you tell him in a letter"

"I want to see his face when he realises how much I hate him."

"Ryan trust me he's a monster. He won't give a shit, he'll probably get off on seeing your hatred, he's poison and if he can mess with your head he will. He will fuck with your mind to get at you to get at me.
...you know Ryan I had resigned myself to the beatings, being chained to radiators, raped but when I felt you move inside me, your life...that's what gave me courage to run away. I couldn't do it for myself but I could do it for you. You saved me Ryan, your little life inside me saved me. So next time these fake dark thoughts fill your mind think about that...promise me."

Tears were rolling down his face as she moved next to him and put her arms around him.

Charity if she was honest was bored shopping. Ria was being very particular with the bedding choice. Charity wondered if she was doing it on purpose as she openly displayed her boredom by yawning, sighing and behaving like a whiney teenager at times which amused Ria.

"These please" Ria said to the assistant.

"Fiiiiiinally" Charity rolled her eyes "come on I'm starvin"

Ria finished up paying and arranging collection as there was not enough in stock.

"Right. Charity. lunch."

"Lead the way sis" Charity waved Ria past her.

They chose Italian, taking a cosy little table with a courtyard view. They ordered and took a glass of lime and soda each while waiting.

"So you spoke to Ryan this morning" stated Ria.

"Yeah"

"And"

"And what?"

"Charity you know I don't tit about. He had a letter from the bizzy twat thats banged up"

"How do you know?" Asked Charity shocked.

"Not much I don't know Charity especially when it concerns my family"

"Did Ness speak to you?"

"In fairness no, I knew something was going on and I went to her. She's not a very good liar is she."

Charity laughed " she can't Ria, never involve her in anything dodgy, she'd get you locked up. Mind you she did spring me from custody one time, gave me a false alibi but it was pure chance it worked cause she hadn't thought it through" Charity laughed again.

"So what's the outcome?"

"Ryan wants to go see him to look him in the eye and tell him how much he hates him. I told Ryan Bails will probably get off on it. He'd love nothing more than to destroy Ryan with hatred, bitterness and destroy me"

"What do you want to do about it?"

"What can I do? I don't want to speak about him. One thing I know is he's a clever nasty bastard who will manipulate Ryan, it's all a game to him"

"Nasty places those prisons especially for ex plod." Ria said slowly.

"We best get back I need to pick the kids up"

Things were moving quickly with the center, all the snagging work was done and the furnishings delivered. The curtains had gone up and the beddings on the beds. Each room looked clean, fresh and ready for their first occupants who were due to descend on the Dales in a month.
Ria had organised an open day for locals before they received guests. Free drinks, bowl of scouse and crusty roll and a tour of the facilities.
The open day was in a weeks time, she'd sent Shivy and Lydia into Hotten for the plastic bowls, cutlery etc and ordered the meat from the butchers.

"Where's Ma?" Enquired Gypsy entering the farmhouse.

"She's out" answered Sol.

"Out?"

"Yeah she just said she was going out"

"How long has she gone?"

"About an hour"

It had been a long time Ria had walked this path, she saw the bench up ahead and a figure  sat alone. She reached the bench and sat down.
The man nodded in politeness at her.
Ria took her hands from her pockets and placed them palms down either side of her on the bench. She moved her right hand slowy, there was paper under her palm. The man watched intently until the name Mark Bails was revealed along with details of his incarceration.

"I haven't seen you for years" he spoke softly in a heavy irish accent.

"I know, Big P made a life for me away from it all"

"I heard that"

"Life's good" she smiled.

"Complete or partial?" He nodded his head toward the paper under her hand.

"Some people need to be taught that certain people are off limits"

"Understood"

She put her hands back in her pockets along with the paper and stood up.

"Well come on then" she smiled wickedly "fancy a fuck for old times sake"

He laughed "you've always known what you want"

"And I always get it" she winked and turned, he followed.

A week later Ryan pulled up outside the prison. He entered the reception and submitted his visiting order and ID. Once they were cleared he made his way to the next door to the locker rooms where he placed his keys, phone and other bits. He was searched and brought through another security door where staff motioned for him to take a seat. The other visitors had passed through while he waited. He was confused but reasoned that every prisoner or visitor has different circumstances.

He waited until finally a member of staff came to him.

"Mr Stocks"

"Yeah"

"I'm afraid the visit today has been cancelled"

"What? I've come all the way here and you just say it's cancelled. Why?"

"Mr Stocks, Mark Bails was taken under escort this morning to the local hospital, specialist burns unit. He was attacked, we are investigating the circumstances. We're very sorry"

"Will he die? How can he be attacked in prison?"

"I can't answer the medical side of things. In regards to the assault unfortunately these things do happen in prison and can be difficult to investigate. There could be a number of reasons for the attack but we will do all we can to get to the bottom of it"

Ryan left the prison upset, not for Bails but himself that he didn't get to say what he wanted to the piece of shit.
"Hope he got a slice of what he deserves" he said out loud as he reversed his car.

Arriving back home he saw Vanessa on the yard talking with Gypsy. He parked up and walked over.

"You okay?" Asked Vanessa.

"Yeah didn't get to see him"

"Oh?"

"He's in hospital, burns unit, he was attacked this morning"

"What?" Vanessa was shocked.

"I'll go and tell mum"

They went into the house. Charity was stoking up the fire, Ria was in the kitchen.

"Hey...you okay?" She asked Ryan quietly.

"Didn't see him. He was attacked this morning, he's in hospital, the burns unit"

Charity was shocked before she composed herself "well he's probably got a lot of enemies"

Ria leaned on the frame of the doorway hand on her hip. "Ooo most likely napalm"

"What do you mean?"asked Ryan.

"Classic prison punishment Ryan, sugar and boiling water. The sugar sticks to the skin and intensifies the burns, very nasty."

Charity studied Ria, Vanessa was horrified.

"Like I said nasty places those prisons especially for ex plod, my advice forget about him" she said nochalantly and turned going back into the kitchen.

The next morning Vanessa slowly opened her eyes blinking. She could hear Charity lightly snoring in her ear, she could feel Charity's strong arm around her, her body spooning her. Vanessa smiled to herself before wriggling her body to turn around and face her love.
Charity went to roll over in her sleep but not before Vanessa had caught her and pulled her by her waist closer. Charity unconsciously submitted as Vanessa threw her leg over Charity's thigh.
Vanessa lay there watching her sleep, smiling at how contented and relaxed she looked. She chuckled to herself as she remembered waking up in the dingy cellar hearing those same snores. She was overwhelmed again at how life takes some unimaginable turns and how happiness comes in the least likely forms.
Never would she have imagined Charity as a friend let alone a lover let alone her wife!
'How lucky am I to have found my soul mate, to experience loving and being loved by Charity Dingle my wife. To have our kids, our  dysfunctional and wild rollercoaster of life where we overcome everything together. To live on a farm, it was just stuff of dreams as a kid and now we're living it.'
As Vanessa pondered she didn't realise Charity had woken. Charity focussed her sleepy eyes on Vanessa and was warmed within watching the smile on Vanessa's lips.

"A million pound for your thoughts because they look very happy ones" Charity whispered.

Vanessa turned and locked eyes with her.

"They're about you, us, the kids, our life here. I'm so happy"

"Me too, I love you Ness I really really stupidly and completely love you"

Vanessa giggled "And Charity Dingle I really really stupidly and completely love you too"

"I know" and she kissed Vanessa.

"Hm we have a bit of time before the kids wake"
They both laughed and pulled each other closer their lips meeting again, harder, deeper and more earnest this time their heart rates increasing as they burnt up with passion desperate to solidify what stupidly and completely really meant.

As they made their way downstairs and through to the main kitchen the house was already buzzing with action.

"Should have stayed in bed" Charity moaned.

Lydia sidestepped her carrying a huge cooking pot. "It's the open day today" she said excitedly.

Charity groaned "yeah well I think I'm busy today"

"You bloody well will be busy here Charity" boomed Ria "this is our opportunity to show the locals the business and get them all on side."

"They couldn't give a toss" she huffed.

"We build good relations Charity"

"Yeah well they all know me babe and trust me they won't change their opinion of me"

"You give in too easily"

"The only good thing they think I have going for me is Vanessa"

"Shut up and you better help out today, this is a family business"

Vanessa was buttering toast for Johnny and Moses as Charity made a brew.

"Sol make sure there's plenty of logs for the fire later"

"Yeah Ma"

"Okay so we have a bowl of scouse with crusty roll" instructed Ria.

"That's a stew" added Lydia as if people didn't know.

Charity rolled her eyes.

Ria continued "A selection of cakes, drinks both alcoholic and non alcoholic. People can mingle, tour the facilities then into the communal lounge for food, presentation and bit of music/entertainment."

"Is Kim Tate comin?" Asked Vanessa.

"She's been invited...if she comes is her business, Gypsy's out grooming the horses now, she's bringing 10 of them into the indoor school for show.

"I'll call Chas for the drinks, she can bring them up. I take it all the family will be there?" Charity asked.

"Of course..well everyone except Cain probably"

Just after 4pm people started arriving. Ria, Sol, Gypsy, Lonny and Levi mingled amongst them. Charity reluctantly mingled while Vanessa chatted easily and was very informative when asked questions.
Charity opted to stand and gas with Chas.
Even Brenda had good words to say about the set up and the business it would bring in for local establishments.
After the presentation in the large communal lounge the drinks were flowing. The cosy fireside ambience gave way to some  light entertainment from the Dingle brothers. Lonny played guitar while Levi accompanied with the mandolin.

"No sign of the witch then" Charity whispered to Vanessa.

"Eh?" she whispered back.

"You know...Kim"

Ria stood beside the fireplace, she looked at the scene in front of her. Her family, her new life and all of it came about because of a random letter from Kathleen that set the wheels in motion.
Charity was sat on the arm of the chair next to Vanessa.

"Gypsy come on give us a song, finish the night with a song." Cried Levi.

"Ah you boys sing good enough" she shook her head.

"Ah come on give us Jenny of Oldstones" he continued.

Ria nodded and the room fell silent except for the crackling of the fire.
Gypsys haunting voice filled the room...

(High in the halls of the kings who are gone...Jenny danced with her ghosts...)

Ria glanced at Charity
(The ones she had lost and the ones she had found....and the ones who loved her the most)
She looked at her children.

(The ones who'd been gone for so very long)
Ria's phone buzzed in her pocket, she took it out and looked at it.
(She couldn't remember their names...they spun her around on the damp old stones...spun away all her sorrow and pain)
Opening the text message she read it as Gypsy continued...
(And she never wanted to leave...never wanted to leave....)
She read the text 'we still okay for Sunday? Looking forward to it, have you spoken to Charity yet? Kathleen x'
(Never wanted to leave...never wanted to leave)

Ria turned to face the fire and rested her hands on the mantelpiece.
(They danced through the day and into the night...til the snow it swept through the halls...)
At Home Farm Kim stands in front of her fire resting her hand on the mantelpiece and a large glass of brandy in the other.
(Through summer and winter and winter again...until the walls did crumble and fall)
Suddenly Kim spins around and throws the glass of brandy at the wall smashing it to pieces, her face twisted with bitterness.
(And she never wanted to leave....never wanted to leave...never wanted to leave...never wanted to leave)

Back at the center Ria turned from the fire and faced those in the room as Gypsy brought the song to an end...
(High in the halls of the kings who are gone...Jenny danced with her ghosts...the ones she had lost and the ones she had found....)
Ria cast her eyes across the faces before her, Charity caught her eye and they exchanged a smile...as Gypsy slowed the song to bring it to it's conclusion
(And the ones who loved her the most...)

A cheer of appreciation rippled around the room, the open day/evening had been a success.
The villagers left one by one until the family were left to clear up the remains of the party. Charity and Vanessa said their goodnights and went out to cross the yard to the farmhouse.

Ria was one of the last to leave the accommodation block, as she crossed the yard she spotted her horse Patrick at the gate. She went to him and he whickered softly. as she raised her hand to scratch underneath his forlock.
"Well Paddy" she smiled and looked up toward the sky thinking of her lover Paddy.
"Who'd have thought it me ending up back in yorkshire"..she paused reflecting..."thank you" she whispered to the stars, her eyes glassy. "Thank you paddy for saving me and for giving me all of this"....she looked around in appreciation.
She spotted charity and vanessa walking towards her and she composed herself.

"You alright?" Charity asked.

"Yeah thought you'd gone in"

"We had a romantic smooch under the stars" said vanessa.

"Must be a night for romance and reflection"

"Shush I've got a reputation to keep" said Charity.

They all laughed a little.

"I can't believe you called your horse paddy after your dead partner" Charity laughed.

"I know" laughed Ria "it just seemed fitting. Brings me so much pleasure riding him"

Charity laughed "Ria dingle!"

Vanessa smiled they were so alike breaking serious moments with inappropriate humor.

"Go on in the pair of you
I'm fine...enjoying the night air"

They left and Ria was alone again with paddy, his big eyes soft and gentle. Ria looked up at him and scratched under his forlock again. She sang softly to him.

(High in the halls of the kings who are gone Jenny would dance with her ghosts...)

She remembered the text and took out her phone, she started typing her response.

...still good for Sunday, looking forward to it. Not spoken to charity yet... Give her time and space I'll talk to her when I feel time is right.

Ria pressed send

She continued singing softly to paddy....
(The ones she had lost and the ones she had found...and the ones who loved her the most...) she watched Charity and Vanessa disappear into the darkness of the night to the safety and warmth of the farmhouse.
She would tell Charity...but not yet, Kathleen was her secret for now...'when the time is right I'll talk with her' Ria gave a sad smile, bid Patrick goodnight and slowly walked herself towards the farmhouse....

THE END

And here ends this sequel! Thank you for journeying with me, I hope I provided some relief during the vanity drought these last 18 months. Now Michelle is back I along with you hope Emmerdale will do the decent thing, the right thing and bring them together again.
I have enjoyed writing these fics although it became more difficult towards the end due to my own time constraints. It was always my intention to update at least monthly and I know this fell by the wayside on the final chapters, forgive me for that.
Once again massive thanks for reading and extra special thanks to those who took time to leave kudos or comments your feedback has been most appreciated. When writing was hard I kept you in mind and wrote for you, you pushed me over the finish line so kudos to you.
Although this particular fic has ended there is as you know potential for a third sequel. Maybe someday I'll get around to it but for now I will take a break and set it on the back burner.
So goodbye for now, it's been a pleasure xxxx

Chapter Text

Vanessa entered the warmth of the farmhouse where Charity was laying in her favourite spot on the sofa. Ria was in her Queen Anne, the tv was on but Charity was focussed on her crossword. Ria was reading while Sol was on the other sofa engrossed in some farming programme on the tv.
It usually warmed Vanessa to see them like this, Charity had seemed so content lately and so relaxed in the midst of her family. Tonight Vanessa felt the coldness within that had taken residence when Ryan had told her the news. 'Poor Ryan' she thought to herself and although she too now carried the burden she was glad he had opened up to her. She unconsciously sighed as she sat down next to her love and rested her hand on Charity's thigh.

"Bad news?" Asked Charity.

Vanessa snapped herself out of her thoughts "what?" She asked momentarily confused.

"Has his leg dropped off?" Charity teased.

"Who?"

"The beast, Frost"

"Oh..no..er..he's fine"

"So why the long face?" Charity laughed at her own joke. "Do you like what I did there babe? Long face...horse..ha" she laughed again.

Ria raised her eyes above her book but didn't move her head, she was quick to pick up Vanessa's inner turmoil.

Vanessa laughed and playfully tapped Charity's thigh. "Brew anyone?" She asked getting up to put the kettle on. Ria dropped her eyes and carried on discreetly reading the room while looking at the pages in front of her.

Vanessa went out to the kitchen.

"A horses headpiece 6 letters ends in e" said Charity aloud.

"Bridle" answered Ria.

"Thank you" she quipped penning the word in.

Vanessa came through from the kitchen with the drinks and sat down idly watching a cow on the tv having a boil lanced.

Charity glanced at the screen just at that moment "eurgh do we have to" she said in disgust.

"You should see it for real especially the ones that explode when you pierce them" Vanessa laughed.

"Er no thanks..I'd rather not..that's disgusting, I'd rather keep my fantasy that you cuddle fluffy bunnies and kittens all day"

"Oh I've lanced a fair few boils in my time" she said trying to caress Charity's face with her hands as Charity batted them away.

"Stop it" Charity whined as Vanessa giggled before getting up and going to look in on Johnny and Moses. She went back into the lounge and up the stairs checking in on Roisin who was already asleep, she bent down and kissed her head and left the room quietly going back to the lounge

Later that evening everyone had gone to bed except for Ria who pottered about in the kitchen until Gypsy came home.

"How's your night love?" She asked Gypsy.

"Yeah was good, Trace has a date with Vanman" she laughed.

"Be careful, don't encourage them too much he's going back soon."

Gypsy laughed again "she's just havin a bit of fun Ma"

"How's the horses? Any problems?" Ria asked.

"No..why?" Gypsy asked puzzled.

"Ness said Frost was lame this morning, she went out to check on him after tea said he's okay now."

Gypsy was confused "she said nothing to me."

"No I didn't think she did, I don't think he was lame. I think there's something going on with Ryan."

"Feck Ma is there nothing that doesn't get past you?"

Ria sighed.

"Say nothing Gypsy..I'll sort it."

"Night Ma"

"Night love"

Ria stood one had on her hip in the kitchen. She'd already deduced in her head that the problem involved Ryan, Ness knew what was troubling him and it was serious enough to either keep from Charity or it needed a carefully picked moment to tell her.
Ria was fiercely protective of her own and that now included Charity, Vanessa and Ryan.

The next day Vanessa was in the surgery on duty. Ria dropped by with a latte, Pearl didn't bother saying Vanessa was busy. With Charity she enjoyed being obstructive even though she was often shot down by Charity's caustic tongue but with Ria it was different. You could see it in them both, the same look not to be messed with but with Ria it was deeper and yet she was the more friendly of the two sisters. Everyone knew there was an invisible line and to take care that you didn't cross it.

"Hey Ria" Vanessa greeted her.

"Ness, brought you a latte" as she stretched her hand out to give her the cup.

"O...ka..y" Vanessa drawled sensing the was a reason for this unusual visit. "What's this about?"

Ria smiled and decided to dive straight in "what's going on with Ryan?"

Vanessa looked down and feigned innocence "dunno why?"

"Ness it's me you're talking to so let's just skip the bull and spill. Frost was never lame..if you're going to make a habit of lying you need some lessons love." She smiled.

Vanessa rolled her eyes "and are you going to give me lessons?"

"If you want"

"Ria" she sighed "Ryan's had a letter from Bails. He wants him to visit him, he said he's appealing and that it was lies in the courtroom and that there are things Ryan should know. Ryan's been feeling like an outsider, that he's just the kid Charity had when she was raped and it's eating him up. He is carrying guilt for what happened to Charity and it's not his guilt to carry"

Ria nodded slowly "Charity doesn't know"

"No but I have to tell her, we don't keep things from each other."

"Will Ryan contact him?"

"Don't know yet"

"Okay" and with that Ria left the coffee and went to leave.

Vanessa called after her "don't say anything to Charity not yet."

"Course not that's for you to do love" and she was gone.

When Vanessa arrived home she managed to catch Ryan in his flat alone.

"Hey Ryan..so have you decided what you're doing?"

Ryan still looked unhappy "I'm going to see him, going to tell him exactly what I think of him and that there's no way I would support an appeal in fact I'd say quite the opposite.
Have you told mum yet?"

"No...I'm picking my time carefully, she'll be upset but she'll cope. She's strong and in a good place."

"You sure she won't relapse?"

"Never say never, even she knows that but I'm confident. Last time there was a lot of stuff going on and she didn't tell me. That's why she relapsed she tried to carry it alone. We promised each other no more secrets, she'll be fine. Er...Ria knows"

"What? Why?"

" Because she's seems to know bloody everything, she's like a flamin witch sometimes. She clocked something was wrong with you and caught me lying about one of the horses being lame which was the excuse I used to go out and see you" she said running out of breath "anyway she knows".

"What did she say?"

"Not much at all but she won't tell Charity she said that's my job basically."

"I've already booked a visit for next week, you better tell mum soon."

Vanessa left and crossed the yard to the farmhouse.

That night when they went up to bed Vanessa turned to Charity.

"Charity...I popped into see Ryan yesterday."

"Mmhm" she acknowledged while removing her make up and looking at Ness through the mirror.

"He's not been himself lately." She hesitated.

"Oh?" Charity stopped what she was doing but continued to watch Vanessa through the mirror. "Ness just spit it out"

"He had a letter" she paused "from Bails" she sighed waiting and allowing Charity to respond in whatever way she needed to and then she would pick up the pieces.

"What did it say?" Charity's response was matter of fact, cold and detatched it took Vanessa by surprise

"He wants to see Ryan, says it was lies and that there's stuff Ryan should know and....he's appealing." Vanessa winced as she said it.

"Oh is that right is it." Still sounding cold. Her mood changed "I'm tired Ness..night" she kissed Vanessa and got into bed turning her back to Vanessa. She knew this behaviour, she knew when Charity was hurting, she got in beside her draped her arm across her waist and spooned in close. Charity took hold of her hand as the tears dripped onto her pillow, she swallowed them down and Vanessa knew so she scooched in closer and held her tighter through the night.

Morning came and no more was said. Vanessa was first for breakfast while Charity dressed Moses n Johnny.
Giving them their breakfast in the kitchen all the kids were in there at once which was tricky as they tended to disrupt each other.

Ria came in "ah Charity come into town with me today, I'm picking  bedding for the accommodation units"

"I'm going over the accounts today and stock"

"Ah come on will ya' when do we get time to shop together. We'll do lunch my treat"

"Mm okay deal"

"Oh well you two enjoy, I'm off to work" said Vanessa kissing Charity, then the boys and wee Roisin who adored her Neth. "Bye" she waved and was gone.

Gypsy entered the kitchen.

"Gyp will you take the boys to school?" Charity rushed.

"Why aren't you taking them?"

"I want to catch up with Ryan...pleeease"

"Okay sure come on boys let's get yr coats"

They jumped up and down excited and ran for their coats.

"You okay love?" Ria asked Charity.

"Yeah catch you later, what time we leaving?"

"10 ok?"

"Yeah"

Charity went out through the door and across to Ryans.

She knocked and stood back giving him time to open.
Banjo sat looking at her, she never gave him attention but he still followed her around the yard as if it was his duty or until he decided to patrol elsewhere. 'Silly mutt' she thought to herself.
Ryan opened the door.

"Oh it's you"

"Well that's nice isn't it"

Ryan was awkwardly quiet.

"Ryan" she breathed "talk to me"

"Seems like you know what's going on"

"Yes but I want to hear from you what's going on in your head"

"Trust me you don't"

"Yes I do"

Ryan sighed and sat down.

"I just don't feel I belong here. I'm just the product of a violent and degrading act against you"

"What?"

"You know Bails and what he done. That is how I came to be."

"Ryan...no.. don't even think like that. You're a miracle, my son the most amazingly fantastic and fulfilling thing to happen in what was a shitty situation, but you, you turned it round for me. Having you was so special and then devastating when I thought you'd died but then I found you again! Ryan I love you, my firstborn son."

"But I'm his too, I carry his DNA, his genes and I hate that, I hate him and I just want to forget he is my biological dad but I can't."

"Well no, not when he's sending you letters you can't"

"I'm going to see him to tell him to leave me and our family alone. I want nothing to do with him ever."

"Can't you tell him in a letter"

"I want to see his face when he realises how much I hate him."

"Ryan trust me he's a monster. He won't give a shit, he'll probably get off on seeing your hatred, he's poison and if he can mess with your head he will. He will fuck with your mind to get at you to get at me.
...you know Ryan I had resigned myself to the beatings, being chained to radiators, raped but when I felt you move inside me, your life...that's what gave me courage to run away. I couldn't do it for myself but I could do it for you. You saved me Ryan, your little life inside me saved me. So next time these fake dark thoughts fill your mind think about that...promise me."

Tears were rolling down his face as she moved next to him and put her arms around him.

Charity if she was honest was bored shopping. Ria was being very particular with the bedding choice. Charity wondered if she was doing it on purpose as she openly displayed her boredom by yawning, sighing and behaving like a whiney teenager at times which amused Ria.

"These please" Ria said to the assistant.

"Fiiiiiinally" Charity rolled her eyes "come on I'm starvin"

Ria finished up paying and arranging collection as there was not enough in stock.

"Right. Charity. lunch."

"Lead the way sis" Charity waved Ria past her.

They chose Italian, taking a cosy little table with a courtyard view. They ordered and took a glass of lime and soda each while waiting.

"So you spoke to Ryan this morning" stated Ria.

"Yeah"

"And"

"And what?"

"Charity you know I don't tit about. He had a letter from the bizzy twat thats banged up"

"How do you know?" Asked Charity shocked.

"Not much I don't know Charity especially when it concerns my family"

"Did Ness speak to you?"

"In fairness no, I knew something was going on and I went to her. She's not a very good liar is she."

Charity laughed " she can't Ria, never involve her in anything dodgy, she'd get you locked up. Mind you she did spring me from custody one time, gave me a false alibi but it was pure chance it worked cause she hadn't thought it through" Charity laughed again.

"So what's the outcome?"

"Ryan wants to go see him to look him in the eye and tell him how much he hates him. I told Ryan Bails will probably get off on it. He'd love nothing more than to destroy Ryan with hatred, bitterness and destroy me"

"What do you want to do about it?"

"What can I do? I don't want to speak about him. One thing I know is he's a clever nasty bastard who will manipulate Ryan, it's all a game to him"

"Nasty places those prisons especially for ex plod." Ria said slowly.

"We best get back I need to pick the kids up"

Things were moving quickly with the center, all the snagging work was done and the furnishings delivered. The curtains had gone up and the beddings on the beds. Each room looked clean, fresh and ready for their first occupants who were due to descend on the Dales in a month.
Ria had organised an open day for locals before they received guests. Free drinks, bowl of scouse and crusty roll and a tour of the facilities.
The open day was in a weeks time, she'd sent Shivy and Lydia into Hotten for the plastic bowls, cutlery etc and ordered the meat from the butchers.

"Where's Ma?" Enquired Gypsy entering the farmhouse.

"She's out" answered Sol.

"Out?"

"Yeah she just said she was going out"

"How long has she gone?"

"About an hour"

It had been a long time Ria had walked this path, she saw the bench up ahead and a figure  sat alone. She reached the bench and sat down.
The man nodded in politeness at her.
Ria took her hands from her pockets and placed them palms down either side of her on the bench. She moved her right hand slowy, there was paper under her palm. The man watched intently until the name Mark Bails was revealed along with details of his incarceration.

"I haven't seen you for years" he spoke softly in a heavy irish accent.

"I know, Big P made a life for me away from it all"

"I heard that"

"Life's good" she smiled.

"Complete or partial?" He nodded his head toward the paper under her hand.

"Some people need to be taught that certain people are off limits"

"Understood"

She put her hands back in her pockets along with the paper and stood up.

"Well come on then" she smiled wickedly "fancy a fuck for old times sake"

He laughed "you've always known what you want"

"And I always get it" she winked and turned, he followed.

A week later Ryan pulled up outside the prison. He entered the reception and submitted his visiting order and ID. Once they were cleared he made his way to the next door to the locker rooms where he placed his keys, phone and other bits. He was searched and brought through another security door where staff motioned for him to take a seat. The other visitors had passed through while he waited. He was confused but reasoned that every prisoner or visitor has different circumstances.

He waited until finally a member of staff came to him.

"Mr Stocks"

"Yeah"

"I'm afraid the visit today has been cancelled"

"What? I've come all the way here and you just say it's cancelled. Why?"

"Mr Stocks, Mark Bails was taken under escort this morning to the local hospital, specialist burns unit. He was attacked, we are investigating the circumstances. We're very sorry"

"Will he die? How can he be attacked in prison?"

"I can't answer the medical side of things. In regards to the assault unfortunately these things do happen in prison and can be difficult to investigate. There could be a number of reasons for the attack but we will do all we can to get to the bottom of it"

Ryan left the prison upset, not for Bails but himself that he didn't get to say what he wanted to the piece of shit.
"Hope he got a slice of what he deserves" he said out loud as he reversed his car.

Arriving back home he saw Vanessa on the yard talking with Gypsy. He parked up and walked over.

"You okay?" Asked Vanessa.

"Yeah didn't get to see him"

"Oh?"

"He's in hospital, burns unit, he was attacked this morning"

"What?" Vanessa was shocked.

"I'll go and tell mum"

They went into the house. Charity was stoking up the fire, Ria was in the kitchen.

"Hey...you okay?" She asked Ryan quietly.

"Didn't see him. He was attacked this morning, he's in hospital, the burns unit"

Charity was shocked before she composed herself "well he's probably got a lot of enemies"

Ria leaned on the frame of the doorway hand on her hip. "Ooo most likely napalm"

"What do you mean?"asked Ryan.

"Classic prison punishment Ryan, sugar and boiling water. The sugar sticks to the skin and intensifies the burns, very nasty."

Charity studied Ria, Vanessa was horrified.

"Like I said nasty places those prisons especially for ex plod, my advice forget about him" she said nochalantly and turned going back into the kitchen.

The next morning Vanessa slowly opened her eyes blinking. She could hear Charity lightly snoring in her ear, she could feel Charity's strong arm around her, her body spooning her. Vanessa smiled to herself before wriggling her body to turn around and face her love.
Charity went to roll over in her sleep but not before Vanessa had caught her and pulled her by her waist closer. Charity unconsciously submitted as Vanessa threw her leg over Charity's thigh.
Vanessa lay there watching her sleep, smiling at how contented and relaxed she looked. She chuckled to herself as she remembered waking up in the dingy cellar hearing those same snores. She was overwhelmed again at how life takes some unimaginable turns and how happiness comes in the least likely forms.
Never would she have imagined Charity as a friend let alone a lover let alone her wife!
'How lucky am I to have found my soul mate, to experience loving and being loved by Charity Dingle my wife. To have our kids, our  dysfunctional and wild rollercoaster of life where we overcome everything together. To live on a farm, it was just stuff of dreams as a kid and now we're living it.'
As Vanessa pondered she didn't realise Charity had woken. Charity focussed her sleepy eyes on Vanessa and was warmed within watching the smile on Vanessa's lips.

"A million pound for your thoughts because they look very happy ones" Charity whispered.

Vanessa turned and locked eyes with her.

"They're about you, us, the kids, our life here. I'm so happy"

"Me too, I love you Ness I really really stupidly and completely love you"

Vanessa giggled "And Charity Dingle I really really stupidly and completely love you too"

"I know" and she kissed Vanessa.

"Hm we have a bit of time before the kids wake"
They both laughed and pulled each other closer their lips meeting again, harder, deeper and more earnest this time their heart rates increasing as they burnt up with passion desperate to solidify what stupidly and completely really meant.

As they made their way downstairs and through to the main kitchen the house was already buzzing with action.

"Should have stayed in bed" Charity moaned.

Lydia sidestepped her carrying a huge cooking pot. "It's the open day today" she said excitedly.

Charity groaned "yeah well I think I'm busy today"

"You bloody well will be busy here Charity" boomed Ria "this is our opportunity to show the locals the business and get them all on side."

"They couldn't give a toss" she huffed.

"We build good relations Charity"

"Yeah well they all know me babe and trust me they won't change their opinion of me"

"You give in too easily"

"The only good thing they think I have going for me is Vanessa"

"Shut up and you better help out today, this is a family business"

Vanessa was buttering toast for Johnny and Moses as Charity made a brew.

"Sol make sure there's plenty of logs for the fire later"

"Yeah Ma"

"Okay so we have a bowl of scouse with crusty roll" instructed Ria.

"That's a stew" added Lydia as if people didn't know.

Charity rolled her eyes.

Ria continued "A selection of cakes, drinks both alcoholic and non alcoholic. People can mingle, tour the facilities then into the communal lounge for food, presentation and bit of music/entertainment."

"Is Kim Tate comin?" Asked Vanessa.

"She's been invited...if she comes is her business, Gypsy's out grooming the horses now, she's bringing 10 of them into the indoor school for show.

"I'll call Chas for the drinks, she can bring them up. I take it all the family will be there?" Charity asked.

"Of course..well everyone except Cain probably"

Just after 4pm people started arriving. Ria, Sol, Gypsy, Lonny and Levi mingled amongst them. Charity reluctantly mingled while Vanessa chatted easily and was very informative when asked questions.
Charity opted to stand and gas with Chas.
Even Brenda had good words to say about the set up and the business it would bring in for local establishments.
After the presentation in the large communal lounge the drinks were flowing. The cosy fireside ambience gave way to some  light entertainment from the Dingle brothers. Lonny played guitar while Levi accompanied with the mandolin.

"No sign of the witch then" Charity whispered to Vanessa.

"Eh?" she whispered back.

"You know...Kim"

Ria stood beside the fireplace, she looked at the scene in front of her. Her family, her new life and all of it came about because of a random letter from Kathleen that set the wheels in motion.
Charity was sat on the arm of the chair next to Vanessa.

"Gypsy come on give us a song, finish the night with a song." Cried Levi.

"Ah you boys sing good enough" she shook her head.

"Ah come on give us Jenny of Oldstones" he continued.

Ria nodded and the room fell silent except for the crackling of the fire.
Gypsys haunting voice filled the room...

(High in the halls of the kings who are gone...Jenny danced with her ghosts...)

Ria glanced at Charity
(The ones she had lost and the ones she had found....and the ones who loved her the most)
She looked at her children.

(The ones who'd been gone for so very long)
Ria's phone buzzed in her pocket, she took it out and looked at it.
(She couldn't remember their names...they spun her around on the damp old stones...spun away all her sorrow and pain)
Opening the text message she read it as Gypsy continued...
(And she never wanted to leave...never wanted to leave....)
She read the text 'we still okay for Sunday? Looking forward to it, have you spoken to Charity yet? Kathleen x'
(Never wanted to leave...never wanted to leave)

Ria turned to face the fire and rested her hands on the mantelpiece.
(They danced through the day and into the night...til the snow it swept through the halls...)
At Home Farm Kim stands in front of her fire resting her hand on the mantelpiece and a large glass of brandy in the other.
(Through summer and winter and winter again...until the walls did crumble and fall)
Suddenly Kim spins around and throws the glass of brandy at the wall smashing it to pieces, her face twisted with bitterness.
(And she never wanted to leave....never wanted to leave...never wanted to leave...never wanted to leave)

Back at the center Ria turned from the fire and faced those in the room as Gypsy brought the song to an end...
(High in the halls of the kings who are gone...Jenny danced with her ghosts...the ones she had lost and the ones she had found....)
Ria cast her eyes across the faces before her, Charity caught her eye and they exchanged a smile...as Gypsy slowed the song to bring it to it's conclusion
(And the ones who loved her the most...)

A cheer of appreciation rippled around the room, the open day/evening had been a success.
The villagers left one by one until the family were left to clear up the remains of the party. Charity and Vanessa said their goodnights and went out to cross the yard to the farmhouse.

Ria was one of the last to leave the accommodation block, as she crossed the yard she spotted her horse Patrick at the gate. She went to him and he whickered softly. as she raised her hand to scratch underneath his forlock.
"Well Paddy" she smiled and looked up toward the sky thinking of her lover Paddy.
"Who'd have thought it me ending up back in yorkshire"..she paused reflecting..."thank you" she whispered to the stars, her eyes glassy. "Thank you paddy for saving me and for giving me all of this"....she looked around in appreciation.
She spotted charity and vanessa walking towards her and she composed herself.

"You alright?" Charity asked.

"Yeah thought you'd gone in"

"We had a romantic smooch under the stars" said vanessa.

"Must be a night for romance and reflection"

"Shush I've got a reputation to keep" said Charity.

They all laughed a little.

"I can't believe you called your horse paddy after your dead partner" Charity laughed.

"I know" laughed Ria "it just seemed fitting. Brings me so much pleasure riding him"

Charity laughed "Ria dingle!"

Vanessa smiled they were so alike breaking serious moments with inappropriate humor.

"Go on in the pair of you
I'm fine...enjoying the night air"

They left and Ria was alone again with paddy, his big eyes soft and gentle. Ria looked up at him and scratched under his forlock again. She sang softly to him.

(High in the halls of the kings who are gone Jenny would dance with her ghosts...)

She remembered the text and took out her phone, she started typing her response.

...still good for Sunday, looking forward to it. Not spoken to charity yet... Give her time and space I'll talk to her when I feel time is right.

Ria pressed send

She continued singing softly to paddy....
(The ones she had lost and the ones she had found...and the ones who loved her the most...) she watched Charity and Vanessa disappear into the darkness of the night to the safety and warmth of the farmhouse.
She would tell Charity...but not yet, Kathleen was her secret for now...'when the time is right I'll talk with her' Ria gave a sad smile, bid Patrick goodnight and slowly walked herself towards the farmhouse....

THE END

And here ends this sequel! Thank you for journeying with me, I hope I provided some relief during the vanity drought these last 18 months. Now Michelle is back I along with you hope Emmerdale will do the decent thing, the right thing and bring them together again.
I have enjoyed writing these fics although it became more difficult towards the end due to my own time constraints. It was always my intention to update at least monthly and I know this fell by the wayside on the final chapters, forgive me for that.
Once again massive thanks for reading and extra special thanks to those who took time to leave kudos or comments your feedback has been most appreciated. When writing was hard I kept you in mind and wrote for you, you pushed me over the finish line so kudos to you.
Although this particular fic has ended there is as you know potential for a third sequel. Maybe someday I'll get around to it but for now I will take a break and set it on the back burner.
So goodbye for now, it's been a pleasure xxxx