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say my name

Summary:

Tim has been in a secret relationship with the crime lord Red Hood for nearly a year and still doesn't know what he looks like. When he lets his wild fantasies run loose and imagine he's Jason Todd, well, he really didn't expect this.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

If you asked Tim how it happened, he honestly couldn’t tell you.

One moment, Red Hood is trying to bash his skull in with his fists, and then the next they’re sitting on a roof, back to back with chilli dogs in hand and debating which Shakespearean play has the most iconic film adaption.

It’s Romeo + Juliet. Obviously. Macbeth wishes it could reach those levels of pure chaos.

Tim knows that the Red Hood is dangerous. He’s proven it. But he’s also damaged and hurting and he needs someone to be on his side now more than ever.

So Tim wormed his way into his life. He let him fight, let him get out that aggression, and then beat it into his big, dumb, thick, red encased skull that he deserves goodness and kindness and contentment and love.

And maybe he learned that along the way too.

Because Red Hood? Is a softy. He is a big, sappy sweetie when he’s not decapitating drug dealers. He insists on using bookmarks when he reads a good book and he loves to cook in his shitty safehouse kitchens and when they’re in bed, he’s gentle and courteous and he respects Tim’s boundaries.

He may be lacking morals, but consent? Red Hood would rather blow his own brains out himself than push Tim to do something he doesn’t consent to.

Red Hood is an intelligent guy. They have amazing conversation and Tim has learned more than he’d ever expected he would from their long late night talks.

He’s also a very passionate guy. You kinda have to be when you have the vengent vendetta that he has. But, though a little twisted, it’s for what he believes is good. He’s also very good at convincing Tim that it’s what’s right. He almost believes it.

He’s sarcastic in a dry way and he’s compassionate in a roundabout way and he’s stubborn but ardent, burning with anger but also with compassion, and most of all, he’s him.

And man, does Tim like him.

The first time they kissed, Tim didn’t dare to open his eyes to see what he looked like, even hidden behind the mask. And now, even if Red Hood may believe he’d try to keep his eyes closed, they have a new precaution.

A blindfold.

Tim’s really worried that he’s going to develop a kink because whenever he puts that blindfold on, his body knows what to expect next.

Red Hood’s cool, chapped lips on his burning skin. His calloused fingers gripping his hips. His silky, thick hair that Tim speechlessly tugs.

Tim may be addicted to Red Hood. And he doesn’t mind at all.

Tim may know a lot about Red Hood, but there are some things that are blanks. Things that are covered up by vague brushoffs, snappy statements, and blatant lies. Things that only get a response of hitched breaths and clenched fists. Things that Tim knows never to ask about and that he’ll never get an answer to. 

But the mystery that itches at the forefront of Tim’s mind every time he goes to Red Hood is the obvious.

His identity.

He knows that he’s a few years older than him. More than one, less than three. He could round and say the answer is two, but there’s twelve months in a year and he could fall onto any of them.

Red Hood keeps the details of his current and past civilian life close to his heart, but Tim knows that he’s estranged with his foster family and his biological family is deceased.

He’s got a build that should be noticeable on the streets for a guy his age, but then again, he could probably pass for older and no one would question it.

He’s an enigma and Tim, the detective he is, wants to solve it.

But he also respects Red Hood and knows he can’t.

So he tries not to.

Instead, when they’re together and the blindfold is on, Tim lets his mind wander. He lets himself imagine.

Unfortunately, his go-to image is Jason Todd, his dead Robin predecessor.

It’s not right. He knows it’s not. But Jason was his childhood love of his life, and that kind of thing lingers. Okay, he’s being dramatic, but still.

And that’s how he got here.

Tim is lying on Red Hood’s bed, back arched as Red Hood straddles him and trails kisses up his chest. His teeth and tongue nip at his skin and Tim is losing his mind.

His hands are in Red Hood’s hair as he pants softly. Red Hood sucks perfectly at the juncture of his neck and Tim shoots up, moaning in pleasure. 

“Jason!” he shouts. 

Suddenly he freezes, his face burning with pure embarrassment. You did it, Tim. You’ve ruined everything and managed to make a complete and utter fool of yourself in the process. 

“How long have you known?” Red Hood asks, voice rough and wrecked.

And Tim… doesn’t know how to respond to that. He was expecting more of a ‘who is Jason?’ not… that.

“What?” Tim manages to say.

And then Red Hood is pulling the blindfold off of Tim and… oh. Oh. Oh no. But wait. What?!

“How long have you known?!” Red Hood— no, Jason. Jason Todd holy fuck, he’s been getting it on with Jason motherfreakingheckballs Todd for the last year — demands, more of a bark, though tight with emotion. “Does he know? Have you been— spying on me this whole time?” 

“No!” Tim exclaims.

Jason laughs bitterly. “God. Of course. I shoulda known I shoulda never trusted someone like you.”

“You still can,” Tim says, almost pleading with a slight desperation.

“No, I can’t!” He scrubs his face with his hand. “Fuck. I shoulda known. When do I ever get something good? Something that works? Someone who actually gives a damn?” He shakes his head. “I can’t get that. Of course I can’t.” His eyes narrow

“I didn’t know!” Tim blurts out.

Jason’s head snaps to face Tim. “What?” he asks, voice small.

“I didn’t know,” Tim repeats. “And Bruce sure as hell doesn’t know. Well, I don’t know if he does or doesn’t, but he hasn’t said anything to me.”

“But you said—”

“Because I imagine Jason Todd when we do it, okay?!” Tim squeaks, his face burning red hot. “I didn’t know what you looked like, so in my head I always imagined you to be Jason Todd. God this is mortifying,” he mutters as he covers his face with his hands. “I didn’t actually think it was you!”

A noise escapes Jason’s mouth as he stares at Tim. “So I just—”

“Yup.”

“And you’ve been—”

“Uh huh.”

A pause. “Well shit.”

“I won’t tell Bruce,” Tim says.

Jason’s jaw drops. “You won’t?”

“It’s not my place. Even if I really think you should.”

Jason sighs. “He doesn’t want me back. Not like how I am now. You know what I’ve done. You’ve seen what I’ve done.”

“But you’ve also come so far! I mean, the streets are cleaner because of you, and you’re not on a slaughtering spree, and I mean, you’ve obviously found enough clarity to not choke me to death when I’m tied up and vulnerable.”

Jason narrows his glare. “Don’t you dare try to distract me with the thought of you tied up.”

“Is it working?” Tim questions meekly.

Jason pauses for a long moment. “Maybe. No. No! It’s not working.”

“Jason, can you honestly tell me that you are the same guy you were when we first met?”

Jason frowns. “No.”

“Because you’ve grown. You’ve moved past that point. You’ve gained control. You did that.”

“I had a little help,” Jason says, lips quirking up.

“Yeah. I’m fucking amazing. Maybe you should come over here and thank me.”

Jason gawks at Tim, the cogs in his mind still grinding together in his brain. 

To Tim’s surprise, Jason launches to pull him in and kiss him.

Tim melts into his kiss like he always does. He cups his cheek and wraps his other arm around his shoulders, leaning into him until their bodies are as flush as they can be.

Tim pulls away, holding Jason’s face in his hands. His eyes dart around as he memorizes every little detail.

“You’re beautiful,” Tim murmurs.

Jason tries to duck his head away but Tim keeps his grip firm. 

“You are,” Tim whispers. “This doesn’t have to change anything.”

“Yes it does,” Jason replies, resting his forehead on Tim’s. “You know it does.”

Tim nods. “Who says it’s gonna change for the worst?” Tim leans in, his lips ghosting Jason’s. “There’s a lot of good that can come from this.” He tilts his head. “I can finally get to know you. We don’t have to worry about the secret identity bullshit.” He smirks. “I get to see your pretty face.” He presses his lips softly against his. “This can be a good thing.”

“Bruce is going to find out eventually,” Jason says, holding himself back from going in for another kiss.

“He always was gonna,” Tim says. “You know he would. You’ve just been avoiding the inevitable. You’re gonna have to face him.” He kisses him again, slow and passionate. “Who says you gotta do it alone?”

“I’m not ready,” Jason whispers.

“I know you aren’t,” Tim says. “I don’t think you’re ever gonna be. But I’ll be with you. I’m not leaving. Not over this. Not because of this.”

Jason shakes his head. “I’m no good.”

“Yes you are,” Tim insists. “You are more good than you give yourself credit for.”

Jason just shakes his head again.

“Hey.” Tim tilts his chin up. “You are good. You’ve done a lot of not good things, but you are still good.”

“I’ve broken his rule,” Jason says. “I’ve broken the most important rule. Over and over again.” His face crumbles. “I’ve… I’ve killed so many people. He won’t forgive me.”

“Jason,” Tim says. “Your death ruined Bruce. You know why I became Robin. Not to replace you, not because Bruce wanted me or chose me, but because I made him. Because he was going too far.” Tim intertwines their fingers. “He was distraught and lost and so, so broken. He didn’t know how to live without you.” He smooths Jason’s hair. “He stands at the case with your suit and he just stares, catatonic and silent, every night after we get back from patrol. He has never stopped thinking about you. He has never stopped missing you.”

Jason doesn’t meet his eyes. “I don’t know if I can go back. He’ll expect the Jason that died. I’m not him anymore.”

“Then he’ll learn,” Tim says firmly. “He will learn and he’ll get to know the you you are now.”

Jason’s eyes drift up, searching Tim’s. “I’m not ready,” he says again.

“You’ve got time,” Tim promises. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

Jason pulls him in for a teary, tender kiss.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Notes:

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