Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

After around two in the afternoon, their schedules have ended for the day. It is nice to have some time to relax even if it’s only for the second half of the day. This is also the evening Felix decides to come out to his members.

He has been thinking about it for a while now and feels like his friends have the right to know about this part of himself. He has also been holding off telling them for a long time out of fear. Felix honestly isn’t sure how they are going to react. He knows Chan will be okay with it. He’s very open about supporting everybody and on top of that, he knows Chan is bisexual too. Chan had in fact figured that out with the help of Felix when he was going through a rough time about a year ago.

However, Felix isn’t sure about the other members and how they will react. Minho seems very supportive, so he’s not worried about him. And although the rest of them have also been supportive of fans in the LGBTQIA+ community, it’s a little different when he’s also coming out as polyamorous.

Felix also knows how homophobic South Korea is and how people like him get treated and the discrimination they face. Even though the others obviously aren’t outright homophobic, it might be hard for them to understand, having grown up in a largely homophobic society.

Felix had found out about different sexualities in secondary school when his friend came out to him as being lesbian. He had asked a lot of questions and finally got to the point where he was comfortable identifying as bisexual. That same girl he was friends with also introduced him to what polyamory was after Felix met her two girlfriends.

He had found out that some people could love more than one person. It had made a lot of sense to him. Everybody carries love in their hearts and some people just have the capacity to love more than one person. It’s just like how you can love multiple friends or care for somebody as well as another person equally. It was exactly the same except with loving someone romantically.

After joining Stray Kids, he had instantly been hit with the fact that he would not mind dating any one of them. In fact, he would be down to date as many of them as possible. This has spurred on a late-night crisis and mental breakdown about what this meant before he had remembered what his friend back in Australia had told him.

Over the next year, Felix realized he was in love with them. Not just one of them. No, he was in love with all of them. Getting to know each of them and becoming close had caused him to fall for all his members. There was so much to love about them and Felix couldn’t help falling for each and every one of them.

He doubts any of them will ever like him back, but it’s still nice to have this love for his members, even if it’s only one-sided. ____________________________________________________________________________

Felix won’t lie. He is nervous as hell and the panic is poorly masked behind his smile as he looks up at the other members.

He had called a meeting after they had eaten dinner all together. It was one of those rare occasions where they were all at home and eating together at the same time. It was the perfect opportunity to come out to them.

Felix can feel how much his hands are shaking, so he quickly places when under his thighs as to not show the others how nervous he is (even though they can probably already tell).

“So um- I wanted to uh- tell you guys something,” he says looking up at Chan, who nods as a sign for him to continue.

He can feel his heart rate start dramatically increasing so he lets out a breath of air to calm himself.

“I- I just wanted you guys to know that I’m um-,” he breaths out again.

“That I’m bi- I mean um- bisexual. And I’m also- I’m poly too. Which means I can- I can love multiple- more than one uh- person,” he finally gets out.

In the short silence that follows, Felix brings his hands up to cover his face, which is probably flushed out of embarrassment. He can also feel the tears that threaten to fall down his cheeks start to build up in his eyes.

‘They probably hate me,’ he thinks. ‘Loving multiple people is weird. Fuck, I’m disgusting.’

As the silence drones on, his thoughts keep getting worse and worse.

Felix is incredibly good at overthinking. He excels at it actually. So even though the rest of the members are silent for only a few seconds, processing what he said, he has already worked himself up to the point of crying.

Once he feels the first tear, followed by others streaming down his face, he quickly pulls his shirt over his head and hides underneath the thin fabric.

“Felix, you know that’s okay, right?” Seungmin is the first to speak.

“Yeah, Lix. Nobody gives a fuck if you like guys too and want to date more than one person,” Jisung reassures.

“Felix,” Chan starts, gently tugging at Felix’s shirt.

“C’mon, mate,” Chan urges, pulling again at the shirt covering Felix’s face.

“Come out, Lix,” Jisung says while also trying to pull down the shirt from over his head.

“He already did, dumbass,” snickers Minho.

Felix slightly chuckles but otherwise doesn’t make any move to pull the shirt back down.

“No, thanks. I think I’ll just stay in here,” he mumbles.

“Felix,” Chan groans.

“I’m bi too if it helps. But you already knew that. Nobody is going to think of us any differently, Lix,” he reassures.

Finally, Felix pulls his shirt back down and scoots into Chan’s lap, wiping his eyes against the older’s shirt.

“Felix, why were you crying? None of us were going to get mad at you for being yourself,” Changbin says gently.

Felix nods from his spot on Chan’s lap.

“I always thought you knew a little too much about bisexuality,” Chan remarks, causing Felix to let out a watery laugh.

“Can’t believe Chan told you he was bisexual first,” Jisung pouts.

Everyone laughs and Chan reaches over to slap Jisung on the shoulder.

“Well, now you know. I am very, very bisexual,” he jokes.

“Same,” someone says.

All their heads snap up to the person who made the comment.

“Actually, I’m pan but...” Hyunjin continues.

Felix leaps up from Chan’s lap and stares at Hyunjin with wide eyes.

“And you never fucking told me,” he says, playfully glaring at the older.

“I um- I was scared you guys would l- leave me,” he replies honestly, sniffling as his eyes fill with tears at the thought.

Everyone’s faces soften and Felix is quick to pounce at Hyunjin and wrap his arms (and legs) around him in a hug.

“Where the fuck would we go, Hyunjin-ah?” Minho glares before Chan can open his mouth to reassure the other boy.

“Minho-“ Chan protests.

“No, seriously. You’re stuck with us, you asshole,” Minho continues, staring threateningly at Hyunjin.

“Um- t- that makes me f- feel a lot better. Slightly terrified, but um- better,” Hyunjin replies.

Minho pats him on the back with a small smile.

“We’ll never leave you. Don’t worry, Jinnie,” Chan says after staring in confusion at the previous exchange.

“Wait,” Jeongin speaks up.

“Can someone explain what ‘pan’ is? Why are we calling hyung a pan?” Jeongin asks.

He had grown up in a fairly religious household and same-sex relationships were never brought up, so he was a bit confused. Obviously, Jeongin was still nothing but accepting to his members, always trying to have an open mind when learning new things.

Hyunjin laughs with a clingy Felix now laying back against his chest

“Pan is short for pansexual. It means he doesn’t care about what gender a person is. He just loves a person regardless of gender identity,” Chan explains.

“What’s the difference between bisexual and pansexual, then?” Seungmin follows up.

“Bisexual is where you like more than just one gender, including your own. Whereas, pan you like all genders. It overlaps of course, but it’s all about what you feel comfortable identifying as,” Minho answers this time, not even bothering to look up from his phone.

Seungmin hums in response as Jeongin nods his head, a bit confused but now having a better understanding of things.

“Yay!” Felix shouts, spreading himself over Hyunjin, Jisung, and Chan on the couch, feeling like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders now that he has finally gotten that off his chest.

He goes to sleep that night feeling warm and happy, a content smile stretching across his face at how accepting everyone was. And grinning to himself because Hyunjin and Chan both like guys too. He isn’t alone.

Chapter Text

Over the next few weeks, nothing changes. They are starting to have more work that needs to be done in preparation for the next album. But other than that, everything stays the same for everybody.

Well, everybody except Changbin.

Changbin had started to notice some things over the past few weeks. He had begun to pick up on things that he hadn’t even noticed before. More specifically, he had realized that everyone in the dorms was fucking hot.

Maybe it was Felix’s cuddles or Minho’s laugh or Jisung’s rapping or literally anything any one of the members did that led to his “gay-awakening” as Felix later referred to it as.

It is at dinner when Changbin catches himself staring at one of the member’s smiles for the hundredth time that day. He angrily huffs at himself, but it really isn’t his fault that all of them are so damn cute.

Someone clears their throat, “Are you...okay?”

Only after Jisung questions him does Changbin realize that the whole table has gone silent, all looking at him in concern. He must’ve looked angrier than he thought.

Changbin sighs before saying, “Yeah. Just not as straight as I originally thought.”

Everyone’s mouths drop open, not expecting him to say that out of the blue. And Hyunjin’s fork drops out of his hand and clangs loudly on the table.

“You- you- what?” Chan stammers in surprise.

“I’m bi, hyung. Bisexual,” he emphasizes, before he looks down at the table in embarrassment, only now processing that he just blurted that out at the dinner table.

He doesn’t look down for long, interrupted by Felix’s loud shout.

“BI BUDDIES!”

Changbin lets out a snort at how happy Felix looks at his confession and smiles when Felix reaches out to hold onto his and Chan’s hands, shaking them back and forth.

“Hey!” Jisung says from the other side of the table, slapping Felix’s shoulder.

“I’m bi too. Stop excluding me,” he says, scowling and looking at Felix with a jokingly annoyed expression.

Felix lets out something akin to a cheer of happiness and eagerly turns to hug Jisung.

“This is rude,” Hyunjin pouts, finally recovering from the shock of Changbin’s words.

“Don’t worry. I’m pan too,” Seungmin calmly states from the other head of the table.

Hyunjin’s mouth dramatically falls open for the second time that night.

Seungmin had actually been talking with Chan about his sexuality recently. It seemed everybody started questioning after the three of them came out a few weeks ago.

He had come to talk to Chan one night after practice, which was surprising as he usually wasn’t one to ask for advice so openly.

He had been honest with Chan, asking questions whenever he was confused about something, and the older was happy to help. At the end of the day, Seungmin had retired to his room with a tiny smile adorning his face.

“I’m demisexual, but pan too,” Seungmin explains, smiling humorously at the way Hyunjin looks at him.

Hyunjin continues to stare down at the table in a state of shock, while the whole table laughs at his reaction. ___________________________________________________________________________

“At this point, are any of us heterosexual?” Felix says, now settled on the couch and joking about them all coming out to each other.

“Actually, I think I might be um- pansexual too. I was doing research to better understand and I- I think I might be pan too,” Jeongin speaks softly from the other side of the room.

Hyunjin lets out a gasp and flops his body on top of the poor boy.

“Hyung, stop! Get off of me,” Jeongin whines, kicking at Hyunjin and trying his best to shove him off.

“I hate you,” he says once he manages to get Hyunjin off, except the smile on his face contradicts his words.

“Minho-hyung?” Changbin asks jokingly.

Minho hums, finally looking up from his phone from where he sits on the couch.

“Oh- yeah. I’m not straight,” he states matter-of-factly before going back on his phone again.

Everyone stares at Minho until he looks up again.

“What? I thought we were all coming out today. Was I not supposed to?” he says, a smirk playing at his lips.

Jisung snorts, shaking his head at the older.

“So are you gay, hyung?” Hyunjin asks.

Minho simply shrugs, “I don’t really label myself, but gay is fine as an umbrella term.”

“I can’t believe we’re not straight kids anymore,” Felix remakes, halfway through the movie they had all picked (but only after arguing over it for a good twenty minutes). ____________________________________________________________________________

(They all laugh about it later. Chan remarking how he didn’t know Changbin liked guys and Changbin telling him that he “can’t limit himself to just one gender,” causing everybody to dissolve into laugher once more.

“Hyunjin and Innie I wouldn’t have guessed,” says Felix

Hyunjin laughs, “No, no. I vividly remember that one fashion show where we saw this very handsome male model and both turned to stare at each other for a solid minute.”

Minho starts cackling at that one.

“I didn’t even know I was gay back then,” Hyunjin continues.

Then, “Silly me,” as he proceeds to purse his lips and look down at his lap in embarrassment.

“Also, that day IN told me he liked my muscular body,” Jisung adds, obnoxiously flexing his arm and smirking at Jeongin, who lobs a pillow at his face.

“Hey!” he shouts. “I told you not to take it that way!”

Jeongin then hides his face with his hands as the others all laugh loudly.

“I think we all knew Minho wasn’t straight,” Chan comments.

“The amount of ‘Lee Know Being A Confident Gay’ videos on YouTube,” Felix dissolves into giggles.

“I already knew Chan-hyung wasn’t either even before he told me. He has an unhealthy obsession with the song ‘Sweater Weather’,” Felix mentions before having to explain to the rest how ‘Sweater Weather’ was deemed a bi anthem.

Chan laughs, turning his head away and slapping Felix’s hand.

“I honestly thought Han was straight,” claims Seungmin.

“Huh?” Changbin asks.

“The way he always turns red when meeting girls and how he always smiles way too much.”

“Damn, same. Thought I was straight too. I think that was just the anxiety though. And guys I’m more comfortable with because I live with you dumbasses,” Jisung responds.

“Oi!” Chan yells, before asking Seungmin to slap Jisung since he’s too far away.

“I’m not as bad as hyung,” claims Jisung, gesturing to Minho.

“He gets all shy and blushes whenever we talk to anyone new.”

Jisung barely manages to dodge the kick that Minho sends towards his face.

Minho finally gets a slap in, but it’s all worth it to Jisung because a flustered Minho is hilarious and all the members have to agree that seeing their sarcastic, always confident member acting shy around new people is peak comedy.

“What about Seungmin-ah? I was actually surprised to hear he wasn’t straight,” Changbin interrupts.

At that, Minho lets out the loudest laugh.

“How could you think he’s completely straight with that Day6 obsession?”

Seungmin lets out a groan but doesn’t hesitate to tease Minho right back.

“We are all practically dating each other at this point...with the number of times Jisung calls everyone ‘baby’ on a daily basis,” Felix jokes, sleepily rubbing his eyes and grinning at the boy to his right.

“You do too. The fuck?” Jisung pouts, moving his hands to sneakily jab Felix’s sides as the other cries out in protest.)

Chapter Text

Surprisingly, it wasn’t Minho and Jisung who first got together like some might think. Although, they were the second couple to.

The first members to actually get together were Jisung and Felix.

It all started when Jisung was singing the lyrics to some pop song right in Felix’s face as he usually does to tease the other members. This was a normal occurrence. And to say it hadn’t happened at least three times already this week would be a lie.

However, this time around, Felix has had some strange confidence boost after just finishing their last comeback. So maybe it was the adrenaline from getting to be on stage or maybe it was just the fact that he’s fucking in love with all of his members that makes him lean even closer to Jisung.

Jisung's grin only expands even further and he moves in even closer, cupping Felix’s face as his singing gets increasingly louder. At that Felix can feel his face slightly heat up and he pulls back maybe an inch from Jisung’s face.

The other only smirks and holds Felix’s head in place while continuing to dramatically sing (scream) his song at Felix. Felix huffs out a breath before taking one of his hands and lifting up Jisung’s chin to look him right in the eye. Now they are both locking eyes, Jisung practically all in his personal space as Felix lounges back against the headboard of his bed, the TikToks he had been watching long forgotten.

Jisung puckers his lips at Felix, still managing to sing annoyingly through the side of his mouth. Felix bites down his embarrassment and leans even closer so that there is only a small bit of space in between their faces.

The other pulls away, started at Felix’s actions before laughing loudly. But the slight blush on his face gives him away and Felix can feel his heart flutter at the way Jisung is smiling down at him.

Before Felix can think it through, his instincts take over and he’s quickly leaning up to leave a quick peck on Jisung’s lips. Felix gasps and quickly pulls away, realizing what he had just done. He sputters out nonsense for a while, trying to come up with an explanation that will magically fix everything, while Jisung just stares in shock at the boy.

Finally, Jisung processes the shock of what happened and tries to interrupt Felix’s anxious rambling. After a few times of calling his name and getting nowhere, Jisung hesitates slightly before pressing his lips back against Felix’s. This time it’s more than just a peck.

Felix draws in a sharp breath before pushing his mouth back lightly against Jisung’s. The other’s hand moves behind Felix’s neck, grasping onto his shoulder. While Felix grasps Jisung’s t-shirt, clutching onto the material.

Felix is the first to pull away with a gasp. He stares up at Jisung in shock, who has now migrated to sitting between Felix’s legs on the bed. Jisung just lets out a chuckle at his expression because Felix is fucking adorable and Jisung is a weak, weak man.

“You- You like me?” Jisung asks, grinning at Felix.

“Uh- y- yes. Thought t- that was kind of obvious b- by now,” Felix nervously responds, laughing slightly.

Jisung smiles at the other boy's giggles before shifting around so his back is facing Felix and lets himself relax against him. The younger (by a day) instantly latches onto Jisung’s back, snuggling his face in the crook of his neck.

“So...you like me too, right?”

Jisung turns his head up to Felix, pecking his lips again and causing Felix’s face to stretch into a goofy smile.

“Think that’s pretty obvious by now,” Jisung teases.

After a while of relaxing together, Felix showing Jisung the occasional funny TikTok or Jisung showing him something interesting on his phone, Felix finally sets his phone down on the bed.

“Sungie?” he asks, tentatively.

“Lixie?” he responds, now pausing his video and scooting away from Felix to look at the other.

“Remember how I said I was poly,” he trails off.

Jisung nods at him in confirmation, letting Felix play with his fingers as a sign for him to continue.

“I like all of you. Like- I like you and Channie-hyung and Minho-hyung, and Seungminnie and Hyunjinnie and-“

“Felix! Felix!” Jisung interrupts letting out a laugh.

“It’s okay. I like everybody too,” he chuckles.

“Really?” Felix asks, incredulously.

Jisung hums in confirmation before Felix practically throws his body at the other, smothering him in a hug and loudly laughing.

Jisung joins him, laughing along with the other boy before they both calm down.

“We should get them to fall in love with us,” Jisung says, lightly rocking Felix and him back and forth.

Felix lets out a laugh.

“No, no, I’m serious. What if we like- I don’t know. We just seduce them with our good looks and irresistible charm,” Jisung continues.

Felix pulls back, rolling his eyes at the other. Jisung slaps his arm lightly, indicating that he was being serious. Felix considers it for a while before Jisung is impatiently tapping on his knee.

“Alright! Alright!” Felix shouts, slapping away the other's hand.

“So you’ll do it?” Jisung smirks.

Felix grins evilly back at him, muttering a “Let's get it!” ____________________________________________________________________________

The next couple to get together was in fact Minho and Jisung. And it started out in a similar way that Jisung and Felix had.

Three weeks after the plan had been discussed between Jisung and Felix, Minho and Jisung were sitting on the couch together after having finished the horror movie Jisung picked out for them.

“You blink so damn much, hyung,” Jisung insists after the other denying the accusation a few times.

Minho exasperatedly sighs and shakes his head, glaring back at the younger.

“Maybe you only blink when you’re nervous,” Jisung continues triumphantly after remember how Minho would always blink rapidly on variety shows and vlives or just when he got embarrassed.

“We should test it out, hyung,” he says before Minho can claim he’s wrong again

“No,” Minho whines, attempting to push Jisung clean off the sofa.

“Come on, hyung,” Jisung says teasingly, invading Minho’s personal space until he’s sitting right in front of him.

Minho freezes slightly but continues to stare at him with a blank expression on his face.

Jisung puckers his lips at Minho, laughing noisily as the older breaks eye contact to look away from him.

Minho glares up at him and starts hitting his thigh with his foot. This only causes Jisung to chuckle evilly and scoot his body even closer.

He leans in again until his face is about an inch away from Minho, instantly grasping his hands when Minho tries to lift them to shove him back.

Minho can’t help the small shy smile that creeps onto his face as he fully turns his head to the side, away from Jisung.

“Hyung,” Jisung loudly protests. “You need to be looking at me or I won’t be able to see your eyes blink.”

Minho looks back at him and scowls, trying to wrestle his wrists from Jisung’s grasp.

“C’mon, Lino-hyung,” he sings teasingly, grinning at Minho before puckering his lips and leaning even closer, looking into his eyes as he was in fact curious to see if Minho would blink more.

Sure enough, Minho’s cheeks lightly flush, and he leans his head backwards, his eyes blinking repeatedly.

Jisung’s heart is racing but he can feel his patience wearing thin. Minho is always so fucking difficult and he knows he should make a move before the older manages to free his hands and shove him off.

He takes in a stuttering breath, the way Minho’s blinks start increasing and the way his ears turn red fueling his confidence before he leans forward and places his lips against the other’s.

Minho lets out the tiniest little mewl as their lips connect which makes Jisung’s heart clench in his chest. He eventually pulls away after a short while leaving Minho with a blush on his face and currently in a state of shock.

“Did you- Why did you- Are you,” Minho fumbles over his words, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I like you, Minho-hyung,” he supplies.

This proves to only make Minho look even more bewildered.

“You- you like me?” he softly repeats.

Jisung is kind of worried at this point but knows Minho might just need time to process everything as he has been a first-hand witness to how bad the older is at talking about feelings.

“Yes,” he anxiously chuckles. “I like you like- romantically. Do you like me too?” he speaks slowly, trying to make his feelings clear so Minho can understand.

Minho finally looks up at Jisung. He seems to almost be almost scanning the younger with his eyes, searching for something in his facial expression or trying to detect whether he’s lying or not. Jisung nervously gulps under Minho’s gaze. Before he can question him though, Minho hesitantly is connecting their lips once more before pulling back.

Jisung can faintly hear him making some teasing remark at him after regaining his composure, but all Jisung can register is the fact that Minho kissed him back. With that, Jisung is left on the couch, alone except for the abandoned snacks laying beside him that Minho had periodically been feeding him during the movie.

After getting over his shock, Jisung’s face turns up in a smile as he settles back on the couch and throws some of the leftover food into his mouth, munching happily. ____________________________________________________________________________

Minho is surprised at this new development, to say the least. He had not been expecting Jisung to confess and honestly thought the younger only acted certain ways on camera because a lot of fans shipped them together.

He is very happy with Jisung even though it’s only been a short while of being with him. Their dynamic hasn’t changed at all and if anything the teasing has only increased since that day on the couch.

As Minho turns the corner into the living room, about to announce to the others that dinner is ready, he catches sight of something that makes him freeze. Jisung and Hyunjin are sitting together on the couch. Except Hyunjin is in Jisung’s lap and Jisung is whispering in the other's ear.

The dinner Minho prepared instantly leaves his mind as he watches Jisung press kisses to the back of Hyunjin’s neck and sees as both of them start laughing together at something.

Minho can feel his heart seize up, but not in the way that it should. He feels uneasy as he looks towards the ground and trudges back to the kitchen. Why isn’t he jealous?

Chapter Text

“You’re ignoring me.”

Jisung corners Minho, standing close to the exit to prevent Minho from leaving if he tries to. He narrows his eyes at the older, trying to analyze his movements and gauge his reaction.

Minho had been purposely ignoring him lately. Whenever Jisung would ask to hang out, the older would make up some lousy excuse about having to work on upcoming dances or being too tired after practice. And Jisung knew that Minho was lying to him. He could see it in the way Minho would have no problem having time to cook late night snacks and relax on his bed yet simultaneously did not have enough time to spare Jisung even a second of his time.

“Did I do something wrong?” Jisung had wondered, confused by Minho’s reluctance to hang out with him. But after trying multiple times to talk to Minho about it, his patience has run thin. Jisung has done nothing to make Minho react this way. Or at least he doesn’t think he has.

On the other hand, Minho is confused. His brain won’t stop running over what he walked in on in the living room that day. To be fair, all of the members were incredibly touchy and very comfortable with one another. But he could see the way Jisung and Hyunjin had looked at one another. That wasn’t a way you stare at a friend.

However, Minho wasn’t upset about it. He wasn’t angry at either one of them whatsoever. This is the problem. Minho should be jealous of seeing the two of them together. He should feel at least some form of resentment towards Jisung or maybe even to both of them. But he doesn’t. And Minho doesn’t know why.

It’s been easier for the other to just avoid Jisung rather than to delve into these thoughts. It’s safer for him to deal with whatever this is on his own.

Minho felt bad when he saw the younger's hurt expression after rejecting him for the millionth time, but Minho is used to dealing with problems on his own. And this time is no different.

Minho rolls his eyes at the younger’s words, continuing to tie his shoe with one leg propped up on the bed, choosing to ignore the feeling of Jisung’s narrowed eyes burrowing holes into the back of his head.

“I’m not ignoring you,” Minho deadpans, finally managing to find his phone, which had fallen under the bed somehow. “I’ve just been busy, Jisung-ah.”

Jisung feels his anger start to bubble up. And feels the sting in his chest at how Minho doesn’t even acknowledge the fact that he’s been avoiding him even though it’s very obvious he knows what he’s doing. His hands clench at the sides of his body, his jaw tensing as he locks eyes with Minho who has now turned around.

The other looks straight back at him with a blank stare, almost challenging Jisung to continue.

“Hyung,” Jisung starts exasperatedly, running a hand through his hair. “You’ve been fucking avoiding me for days now. Did I do something to upset you? Can you just- get off your high horse and fucking talk to me?”

Minho keeps his face void of any emotions but the fire in his eyes gives away how irritated he is. He doesn’t want to deal with this right now. And he seriously has to get going if he doesn’t want to be late for “Kiss the Radio” with Seungmin. Minho slings the bag over his shoulder, walking closer to Jisung before stopping a foot in front of him.

“I saw you with Hyunjin,” Minho states blankly.

Jisung takes a few seconds before his eyes widen and he stares up at Minho in shock.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Hello,” Hyunjin hums cheerfully, making his presence known to Jisung, who is currently laying lazily across the couch, scrolling through his phone.

“Hey, baby,” Jisung responds automatically, not even having to look up from his phone to know it is Hyunjin who just walked it.

“I just finished the second to last chapter in my book,” the older continues.

Hyunjin lets himself fall dramatically on top of Jisung on the couch. He isn’t one for much skinship, but Hyunjin is still extremely clingy. He has no problem draping his whole body over the members or resting his head on their shoulders when he’s tired.

“Hyunjin,” Jisung whines, now with the other’s full body weight completely on top of him.

Hyunjin only cackles at how he has Jisung’s body pressed down into the couch, fully weighing him down.

“Which book are you reading again?” questions Jisung, rubbing at his eyes with one hand.

The other sits back up again, bending Jisung’s legs and pushing them away from him so that he can sit at the other end of the couch. Hyunjin pouts at Jisung’s words, looking at him in disbelief as he’s been talking about his book for a while now.

Jisung registers the look on his face and fully sits up.

“Sorry, I just woke up, Hyunjinnie. This is too much thinking for my poor brain to handle,” he apologizes.

“You took a nap?” Hyunjin questions, his eyes widening at the younger.

Jisung cocks his head to the side, muttering a confused affirmation.

“Wow,” Hyunjin says in surprise.

“Wow?” Jisung snorts, eyeing Hyunjin questioningly from the left side of the couch

“No, you just look very handsome for having just woken up,” he explains, leaning further back into the couch.

“I’m always handsome,” Jisung automatically replies, slightly grinning over at Hyunjin.

The older lets out a light snort.

“Hey!” Jisung complains moodily at Hyunjin’s snort.

Then without warning, Jisung shifts closer to him on the couch and pulls Hyunjin into his lap.

Hyunjin’s mouth stays open as he lets out a squeak at the sudden jostling and movement into Jisung’s lap. He playfully groans once he’s settled and leans his body comfortably back
against the other boy.

Jisung only laughs at Hyunjin’s reaction before adjusting his hands around the other boy’s waist.

“How dare you laugh. I’m always handsome, you asshole,” Jisung says, his head slotted into the crook of Hyynjin’s neck.

“Hm, I don’t know about that,” Hyunjin teases playfully, knowing fully well that Jisung is one of the most handsomest guys he’s ever laid eyes on.

Jisung lets out a dramatic gasp and moves his hands in the air, waiting for the right moment to jab Hyunjin in the side. Luckily, Hyunjin notices his arms poised and ready for attack and desperately tries to pull away from Jisung’s embrace.

The younger only laughs and holds on tightly so Hyunjin can’t escape his clutches.

“No! No!” Hyunjin pleads. “You’re handsome all the time. I take it back.”

Even though Hyunjin is only saying those words to get Jisung to call off his attack on Hyunjin’s sides, he can’t help the happy dance his heart does in his chest at the prospect of this drop-dead gorgeous man on his lap calling him attractive.

Jisung looks surprised for a moment before his face dissolves into a smirk as he looks at Hyunjin, their faces now only an inch apart as Hyunjin turns in Jisung’s embrace.

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

Hyunjin scoffs, turning his head away from Jisung, a light flush present on his face at the proximity of their faces a second ago.

Jisung’s smirk only grows wider when he catches a glimpse of his flushed cheeks as he turns around.

He lightly taps his cheek against Hyunjin’s, prompting him to turn his face back around which Hyunjin disregards, choosing to continue looking straightforward and relaxing back against the younger.

Jisung decides he will have to try a little harder and goes with the only other option that he can think of at the moment. He figures this is the only viable course of action.

Jisung slowly moves his face a bit down and places a kiss on the back of Hyunjin’s neck.

The older boy immediately jolts forward, a shy smile making its way present onto his face.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Jisung claims nonchalantly, continuing to place kisses on the back of his neck, his own face now showcasing a light blush as well.

Hyunjin lets out a laugh at his behavior and leans further back into Jisung, going limp in his arms.

Jisung laughs along with him, unaware of another presence now standing at the entryway that separates the kitchen from the living room. And not aware of the look of turmoil that twists up Minho’s face as he walks away.

Hyunjin lets out a sigh of content and shifts around so his neck is laying on Jisung’s shoulder now, indicating that the other should kiss his cheek instead.

Jisung only pauses, which makes Hyunjin’s eyes open.

“You wanna kiss me?” he raises his eyebrows at Jisung.

It’s now the other’s turn to look down in embarrassment, but he’d be a fool if he didn’t take Hyunjin up on his offer.

Hyunjin lets out a laugh at the look on Jisung’s face before he is shut up by a pair of lips on his own. He sighs into the kiss, deciding that kisses on the lips are better than on the cheek as Jisung lightly tugs at his hair to better slot their lips together before pulling away.

“Watch Howl’s Moving Castle with me?” he questions.

Hyunjin opens his mouth once before his face contorts into a grin, now moving off Jisung’s lap only to grab the remote and this time pull Jisung into his own lap.

Jisung lets out a sound of surprise before laughing and slapping Hyunjin’s hand away from the remote.

“You’re too dumb to use the remote, Jinnie,” he says before grumbling something about Hyunjin always making him do all the work, causing the older to laugh and press a kiss into his hair.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Hyung, I-“

Minho cuts him off, now glaring directly at Jisung. Minho is far from mad so he’s not exactly sure why he is reacting like this. But he’s never been more confused and frustrated in his life. All he knows is that he needs to leave. And he needs to do so before Jisung has the chance to speak up again.

“So no, I don’t want to talk,” he continues coldly.

“Get out of my way, Han,” Minho mumbles, moving around Jisung to get to the door and shoulder checking him on the way out.

“Fuck,” Jisung mumbles out into an empty room as he vaguely hears Seungmin complaining to Minho about him taking forever to get ready and then the door closing behind them.
____________________________________________________________________________

Minho feels disoriented throughout the whole radio program. He can’t help his mind from wandering to the fight he had with Jisung and what he had seen between him and Hyunjin. He feels puzzled. Minho just can’t figure out why he isn’t jealous about this. ‘Do I not like Jisung as much as I think I do? Or maybe I like-,’ Minho cuts his thoughts off, choosing to tune back into the conversation Seungmin and YoungK are currently having.

After their segment is over, Seungmin corners Minho in the hallway while they wait for a car to come and pick them up. He has been noticing how the older is extremely out of it and has been talking significantly less. Not that he would ever admit it to him, but Seungmin is worried.

“You okay, hyung?” he asks, trying to keep the concern out of his voice and keep his tone light.

Minho’s eyes refocus as he finally takes in Seungmin’s face in front of him. He blinks a few times before looking back at the younger.

“I’m fine, Seungmin-ah,” he says, the corners of his mouth tugging up in a slight reassuring smile.

Seungmin cocks his head at Minho, unconsciously moving his body closer to the other’s, where Minho’s back is pressed up against the wall. He looks unconvinced and seems to be scanning Minho’s face for lies.

“Wow, Seungminnie. I didn’t know you were so obsessed with me,” Minho is quick to tease, shifting the conversation away from himself.

The worry instantly melts off Seungmin’s face, a look of disgust taking its spot.

“I hate you,” he responds, unamused.

“No,” Minho draws out. “You love me, Seungminnie.”

Minho smiles evilly up at Seungmin while the other glares back down at him, having completely forgotten their conversation previously.

“No, I don’t,” Seungmin reaffirms.

Minho hums in response, “I think you do.”

“Gross.”

Minho can’t keep himself from laughing loudly at Seungmin’s face turned up in disgust, causing the younger’s mouth to morph into a smile.

Before Minho can even think of a response, Seungmin lets out a giggle. Minho feels like he’s been punched in the gut. All his thoughts come to a stop and all he can do is look at Seungmin, whose face has broken into a wide grin. Minho is unaware as his face moves closer to Seungmin’s, but he can see the other’s breath hitch as he looks into Minho’s eyes with a startled expression.

Next thing Minho knows, his hands are on his shoulders and his lips are on Seungmin’s.

Minho focuses on the soft kiss and the way Seungmin’s lips feel moving against his. But the moment is broken too soon as reality comes rushing back to him.

“Fuck,” he gasps, pulling away from Seungmin and hurriedly ducking under the boy’s arms and stumbling in the direction of the car.

Seungmin stares at Minho’s receding figure with his mouth hanging open. ‘What the hell had just happened? Wasn’t Minho dating Jisung? They sure seemed close. So why would he-‘ Seungmin wonders.

Once Seungmin gets over the brief shock, he is yelling out to Minho, who has only increased his speed towards the parking lot.

“Hyung, wait!”
____________________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile, Felix has been putting his and Jisung’s “Seducing the Other Members Plan” into action.

After a quickly uttered “I’m going to try and woo Hyunjin with my skills at Super Smash Bros, Sungie”, Felix is off to go ask Hyunjin to play video games with him.

“Hyunjinnie,” he says cheerily, opening the door to the room to throw Hyunjin a game controller.

Hyunjin lets out a groan as the controller hits him right in the stomach from where he lays on the bed, but agrees almost immediately.

“Fucking hell, Hyunjin. Stop pushing me off the damn-,” Felix complains before getting pushed off once again.

“You’re so mean to me,” Felix pouts while Hyunjin laughs manically.

“Not mean, just better.”

Felix playfully slaps Hyunjin on the shoulder while the other dramatically slaps a hand over his mouth to “withhold from screaming out in pain”.

“Since when are you good at this? Seungminnie said you sucked ass,” Felix frowns, desperately clicking buttons to operate his character in the game.

Hyunjin laughs, punching Felix’s Yoshi once more and sending him flying off the edge.

Once they had both tired out from playing games, Felix cuddled up to Hyunjin on the couch, both wearing matching smiles as they took a few minutes to relax in each other’s warm embraces.

They both waved goodbye to Seungmin and Minho, who were leaving for their radio broadcasting with Day6’s YoungK, before settling back onto the couch.

“Can’t believe I lost,” Felix says, his hands covering his face as he leans his head on Hyunjin’s shoulder.

Hyunjin grins, removing Felix’s hands off of his face.

“Sorry, I’ll let you win next time,” he responds jokingly.

Felix laughs, slapping his arm.

After a while of relaxing in silence, Felix adjusts his position slightly so he can press a kiss to Hyunjin’s cheek before snuggling back up to him.

Hyunjin just grins down at the younger boy, wrapping his arms tighter around Felix.

Chapter Text

Changbin can tell there’s something wrong with Minho as soon as he walks into the bedroom. He looks up when the door opens and watches in surprise as Minho immediately closes the door behind him and goes to his bed, pulling the curtain over to cover himself. Changbin narrows his eyes when he registers that Minho didn’t even bother to greet him or acknowledge his presence whatsoever.

He waits a few seconds until he is sure that Minho is not planning on leaving his cave of a bed anytime soon.

Changbin drops his phone into his pants pocket and shuffles over to Minho’s bed.

When Changbin opens the curtain slightly to let himself in, he finds Minho sitting on the bed and facing the wall. He frowns at the sight and reaches behind himself to close the curtain back up, blocking out some of the light from the room, before settling down next to Minho.

“What are you doing?”

Changbin’s attention immediately snaps to Minho, who is still staring straight at the wall in front of him with a blank look, his hands fiddling on his lap.

“Inviting myself in,” Changbin says, scooching a bit closer to the older and scanning over his face to try and uncover what’s happening with him.

Changbin pauses, waiting for a response that never comes.

“Honestly, I thought I was going to come in here and see you not wearing underwear again,” Changbin teases, attempting to lighten the mood.

When Minho doesn’t make a snarky response back, Changbin can tell that something must be really upsetting him. Usually, Minho is quick with firing back a remark at Changbin or arguing over the fact that he does wear underwear to bed. But now, all Minho is doing is gazing off into space, unmoving.

“What’s wrong with you?” Changbin questions, making sure to keep his tone from sounding judgmental or irritated.

It is rare for Minho to open up to any of them. The older prefers to deal with his problems without their help, no matter how willing they might be. This is why Changbin is being especially careful with him.

Minho’s gaze drops down to his lap and his hands stop fidgeting for a second before his thumb moves up to rub the waterline of his lips.

“M’ just tired,” he finally reassures, turning his head to give Changbin a comforting smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

Changbin frowns but chooses not to speak, lost in his own thoughts as well and unconsciously resting his hands on the bed at either side of his body.

Minho’s hand has fallen away from his face and he hesitantly reaches for the younger’s hand, gently intertwining their fingers.

Changbin immediately glances up at Minho in surprise as he feels the older holding onto his hand but Minho’s face is void of emotion. Minho continues to look down at his lap and refuses to meet Changbin’s eyes. Changbin feels his mouth turn up in a shy smile, his nose scrunching up in embarrassment.

He lightly squeezes Minho’s hand back before sighing.

“I haven’t seen you cry since the survival show, hyung,” he pauses. “You know you can talk to us about stuff, right?”

He looks at Minho then, who is still not facing him and instead absent-mindedly playing with Changbin’s fingers. Holding hands with the others has always calmed Minho down whenever he’s feeling anxious. Although he claims to hate skinship, holding hands is different. He likes to feel the grounding presence of his members beside him and the warm feeling of their hands against his. So instead of choosing to speak up, Minho decides to focus instead on the comforting weight of Changbin’s hand in his own.

Changbin takes in Minho’s expression. He lightly bumps his shoulder against the older’s, prompting him to speak.

Minho is silent for a long time. So long that Changbin is sure the other has decided not to tell him anything or reveal how he is really feeling. Almost as he makes up his mind to stop invading Minho’s personal space and get off his bed to let the older get some alone time, Minho is speaking up.

The words spill from Minho’s mouth in a rush of syllables, so jumbled up that Changbin isn’t even sure that he has heard correctly.

“I kissed Seungmin.”

Minho’s body immediately tenses at the words and his hand falls limp in Changbin’s own. Changbin takes a few minutes to process this information before he is letting out a sigh.

“Well, I honestly did not see that coming...but what’s so bad about kissing Seungmin-ah? Does he not like you back?” he questions, shooting Minho a confused look.

Minho gets really quiet for a second and Changbin feels his heart clench a bit with worry for how Minho has tensed his body so much so that he is now slightly curled in on himself.

“I didn’t- I didn’t mean to,” Minho’s voice is strained. “I’m- Changbin,” he says, now looking the younger directly in the eyes. “I’m dating Jisung.”

Changbin won’t lie. He was definitely not expecting that. Sure, Minho and Jisung were extremely close. But all of them are extremely close friends in general and a lot of the stuff on camera he had assumed was mostly for the fans shipping the two of them together.

“So you-,” Changbin cuts off, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion and trying to understand what the problem is exactly. “You kissed Seungmin, but you’re dating Jisung?”

Minho nods his head, his heart racing in his chest at having admitted it out loud. He was not one to open up about these types of things. But after Changbin had uttered those few words about talking to the others when he needed to, the words came slipping out of Minho’s mouth before his brain could even comprehend them. Minho despises talking about his feelings with anybody. Or even having the other members help him sort out his problems. He’s used to working things out the best that he can alone. That’s what he’s always done. But somehow with Changbin’s hand in his, he has the sudden urge to just blurt everything out. And once the floodgates open, there’s nothing Minho can do but let the words tumble from his mouth like water.

“I didn’t m- mean to. I just- He was just- And then Hyunjin and Jisung and I- I like Jisung. I do. I really do. I’m just so-confused.”

Changbin’s eyes stare back at Minho as the older turns his face away from him. His face twists up in worry as it seems Minho is really stressed out over this. He isn’t used to being the one helping Minho out because usually, it’s the other way around for all the members, even Chan who was older than the boy.

“I don’t really know- the whole situation. But, I do think that you should talk to Jisung and be honest with him. And, hyung- it’s- it’s okay if you like both of them,” he responds thoughtfully, squeezing Minho’s hand with his own in what he hopes is in a reassuring manner.

“L- Like both?” Minho asks, staring up at Changbin with wide eyes.

Changbin nods, hesitantly smushing in closer to Minho and urging the other to rest his head on Changbin’s shoulder.

Minho surprisingly complies, pausing at first before letting his head drop down to the younger’s shoulder in a rare show of skinship.

“What if I…,” Minho freezes for a moment before continuing. “What if I liked more than just those two?”

Minho thinks back to the feeling of seeing Hyunjin and Jisung together on the couch. ‘Maybe I wasn’t jealous because I...like Hyunjinnie too?’ he questions in his head. ‘What if I like- like more than just-,’ Minho cuts his thoughts off, choosing to stay clear from those at least for now.

If Changbin picks up on the uncertainty and insecurity hidden under Minho’s tone, he doesn’t acknowledge it.

“That’s okay too, Minho-hyung. You can like as many people as you want. That’s fine. Remember when Lix talked about being poly?” Changbin easily states.

Minho nods against his shoulder before pulling back and blinking his eyes for a few seconds.

He turns to Changbin and smiles gratefully at him for some time before his mouth turns into a teasing smirk.

“Bet you wish one of those people were you, Binnie,” he exclaims, his normal self returning full-force.

Changbin feels himself grow flustered, groaning before shoving Minho off the bed.

“Go talk to Sungie,” he grumbles, a light smile playing at his lips at Minho’s renewed confidence and feeling happy with himself for making his hyung feel better.

Minho grins back, puckering his lips at Changbin and leaning closer to him before the other shoves him off, laughing.
____________________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile, after Felix suffered a devastating defeat against Hyunjin in Super Smash Bros, he and Jisung are sitting on the other’s bed, talking.

As soon as Minho had walked out of the room after their fight, a feeling of unease started swirling in Jisung’s chest and the dread immediately started flooding into his body. When he heard Felix walking past his room, likely heading back to his own shared bedroom with Chan and Changbin, Jisung pulled open the door in a rush and yanked Felix inside.

“Felix, he- he saw-,” Jisung cuts himself off as a shudder goes down his body, his eyes wide as he anxiously wrings out his hands.

“Hey, hey, Jisung. It’s okay. What’s going on?” Felix asks in concern, looking at Jisung to gain confirmation that he can touch him before rubbing up and down the other’s back.

Jisung takes in a gulp of air, not having realized that he was this panicked about the whole situation. He breaths in and out slowly a few more times to calm his racing heart.

“Minho,” he finally gets out. “Minho-hyung saw me and Hyunjin.”

“You mean…,” Felix searches Jisung’s eyes.

The other had told Felix about how things had gone with both Minho and Hyunjin. Every day they kept in place a system where they would report back to each other about the progress of their ingenious plan.

At the time, Jisung had been extremely happy with how things were going in their master plan. But now, he realizes how bad seeing Hyunjin and him on the couch must’ve looked. It was wrong to kiss Hyunjin when he hadn’t explained everything to Minho or had even told anybody else that he was polyamorous. Jisung isn’t sure how much Minho saw, but whatever it was had been enough to make him angry with Jisung.

“Yes,” Jisung affirms. “He- He’s mad at me, Lix,” he says barely above a whisper, his eyes filling with tears as he recalls how coldly Minho had talked to him.

“Sungie. Sungie!” Felix tries to gain the other boy’s attention.

When Jisung finally looks up, he is met with Felix’s bright smile in reassurance and he momentary forgets the whole Minho situation, instead choosing to focus on the happy sunshine boy in front of him.

The grin on his face widens as Jisung hesitantly smiles back at him. Then Felix is quick to pull Jisung in a hug, tightly wrapping his arms around the boy while being careful not to squeeze too hard and make Jisung feel suffocated.

Jisung lets himself slump into Felix, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck and lightly tapping his fingers on Felix’s back in a steady rhythm.

“We can figure this out together. I think you just need to explain the situation to Minho-hyung and he’ll understand. You just need to talk things through.”

Jisung nods into his shoulder and sniffles lightly.

“It’ll be okay, Sungie. Can you- Can you tell me what happened with hyung?” Felix questions hesitantly, not wanting to overwhelm Jisung.

“Only if you watch YouTube with me later,” Jisung says, pulling back and grinning at Felix while wiping the tears off his cheeks.

Felix smiles, chuckling at the other boy and letting Jisung lead him over to the bed.
____________________________________________________________________________

The door slams open to Jisung’s room a few hours later and he yelps in surprise, almost throwing the phone up into the air.

Felix slightly jumps too, both of them looking up in shock at the figure in the doorway.
____________________________________________________________________________

Minho has been taking his sweet old time walking to Jisung’s room. He keeps continuously pausing in the hallway, walking back a few steps before walking forward once more. The only thing that is spurring him on is the fact that he isn’t sure where Seungmin currently is located and doesn’t think he can deal with running into the younger right now.

After what had happened at the radio show, he had instantly plugged in his headphones when he got into the car and opted to stare out of the window the whole way back to the dorms. The car ride was awkward and he couldn’t bring himself to even look the younger in the eyes, no matter how much Seungmin tried to get his attention. He still feels disgusted with himself for doing that no matter what Changbin has told him.

Before even thinking about finding Jisung, he slips into the bathroom after checking to make sure the coast is clear.

His thoughts are all over the place as he thinks back to everything that has happened today.

Minho looks in the mirror, taking a stuttering breath and clenching his heads together to stop them from anxiously shaking.

He feels bad for reacting that way to Jisung’s confrontation and also for ignoring him previously. He didn’t deserve that. Besides, even if Jisung liked Hyunjin and only Hyunjin, Minho is okay with that. He wants them to be happy even if the thought does hurt a bit. It mostly would hurt because he wants to be included with the other two. Minho doesn’t just want Jisung to himself. He wants...all of them. And that thought scares him.

How could he have fallen for all his annoying members? Then again, it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t his fault that Chan babied him constantly and was always checking in with him and taking care of everybody in the group. He’s always been such a strong leader and an incredibly kind and understanding person to each and every one of them.

It wasn’t his fault that Changbin was such a thoughtful and honest person, who never has once complained about Minho holding his hand at random times. Not to mention the fact that Changbin took the time out of his day to check on Minho and encourage him to talk even though Minho hates opening up to others.

It wasn’t his fault that Hyunjin was such a good person, who put dedication into anything he did. He’s always been an inspiration and someone who he admires greatly in dance. And Hyunjin has never failed to make Minho laugh at all his dramatic reactions to things.

It wasn’t his fault that Jisung was such an energetic and kind person. He always spent time with Minho no matter how much Jisung preferred staying inside rather than going out. And Jisung has had Minho’s back since day one.

It wasn’t his fault that Felix was such a caring and warm person. He had always had a soft spot for Felix. But honestly, who could blame him? Not only that but Felix is an inspirational dancer as well and never ceases to amaze him.

It wasn’t his fault that Seungmin was annoyingly adorable and became his first friend during their trainee days. Even now, Seungmin is someone he can always tease and play around with.

Lastly, it wasn’t his fault that Jeongin was always so selfless and had such a bubbly and adorable personality. Honestly, all of Stray Kids have been whipped for Innie since the beginning of time. So who could blame him?

In conclusion, it really was not Minho’s fault. And he honestly was surprised he hadn’t realized this all sooner. His feelings were kind of obvious. Why hadn’t he figured this out before? He figures all it took were a few words for Changbin and he had finally set himself straight after weeks of agitation and confusion.

Minho slumps against the shower door after his revelation, feeling shocked but overall less confused. ‘Fuck,’ he thinks. ‘I really need to talk to Jisung.’

Without another thought, Minho is making his way to the younger’s bedroom (for real this time), mentally preparing himself for coming clean about what had happened with Seungmin and readying himself to confess.

As Minho stands in front of the door and reaches for the doorknob, the previous panic comes back full force, making Minho feel a bit nauseous. What if Jisung only likes Hyunjin and not him? What if he isn’t okay with Minho liking the others too? What if he gets mad at Minho for cheating on him by kissing Seungmin? Maybe Minho had just been reading everything wrong.

Before his thoughts can get too out of hand, Minho quickly pushes open the door. He instantly flinches at the loud sound the door makes as it bangs against the wall. The sound fills Minho with even more anxiety, a desperate panic awakening in his chest.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Seungmin and I kissed,” Minho practically shouts out, breathlessly peering into the room with wide eyes at his spot a few feet inside the door.

Felix is the first one to move. He scrambles off of bed and rushes over to close the bedroom door and make sure no one else can hear their discussion.

Minho breathes heavily, staring right at Jisung, seeming to not even notice Felix’s presence in the room.

“What the fuck?” Jisung spits out, anger fueling his body.

Minho’s breathes grow even more ragged, not uttering a word as he continues to stare at Jisung. Felix stands uncomfortably off to the side, watching as Jisung gets up from the bed with fire in his eyes.

“Wait,” Jisung’s eyebrows furrow as he pauses. “Seungmin kissed you?” he asks slowly, more confused than anything.

“N- No, I kissed Seungmin,” Minho says, attempting to keep his voice even.

“What the actual fuck, hyung?” Jisung shouts angrily.

“You get mad at me for kissing Hyunjin and ignore me for weeks, but then it’s suddenly okay for you to kiss Seungmin?” he continues almost in disbelief.

Before Minho can open his mouth and respond, Felix is speaking up hesitantly.

“Should I- Should I leave?” he asks in a small voice.

“No,” Minho practically growls. “Felix, you can stay,” not even bothering to look his way as he stares Jisung down.

Felix gulps nervously and continues shifting back and forth on his feet, eyes anxiously flitting between the two boys.

“Jisung,” Minho exasperatedly sighs after a beat of silence swallows the room. “Jisung, can you just listen to me?” he pleads.

Jisung audibly sighs, the sound bouncing off of the walls and vibrating the air surrounding them.

He motions for Minho to continue.

“I um- I didn’t mean to kiss Seungmin. I wouldn’t- I wouldn’t do something like that to you,” Minho starts, making Jisung look down guiltily.

“Hannie, I uh- I was never mad at you. Just- Just confused. I was confused because I wasn’t jealous when I saw you two together. I was more mad at myself for not being angry with you two because I felt like I should’ve been. And- And I was just really o- out of it after what happened with you and then I was making fun of Seungmin and he- I just- Seungminnie was right there and I…,” Minho trails off, vaguely gesturing with his hands.

“...What are you saying?” Jisung questions.

Minho squeezes his eyes shut, unbelievably uncomfortable about having to talk about this and open up about his feelings twice today.

Felix still stands off to the side, observing the two and holding himself back from going up to Minho and hugging him because he knows that’s not what either of them needs right now.

“I’m saying that- I like you, Jisungie. You- You know that I do,” he says, finally looking up at Jisung.

“But- I think I also like Hyunjinnie too. Which is why I wasn’t jealous of you guys. Because I wanted- I wanted to be a part of that with- with both of you. I-,” Minho takes in a shuddering breath.

“What I’m saying,” he pauses. “What I’m saying is that I like you. All- All of you. All of the- All of the members,” Minho finishes.

Jisung’s mouth hangs open and if it were a different situation Minho would’ve told the younger that he hopes Jisung swallows a fly.

“Holy fuck,” Jisung whispers to himself.

Before either of the two can say anything more, Felix is letting out a happy squeal and capturing Minho in a tight hug, a huge grin adorning his face.

Minho looks down awkwardly, kind of shocked at Felix’s reaction, but secretly hoping that this at least means Felix likes him back. He pats Felix’s back lightly before the younger is pulling away to grin at Minho.

Felix’s smile quickly morphs into a frown.

“You- You mean me too right?”

“Yes, Lixie. I mean you too,” Minho rolls his eyes at the younger before looking back at him with a fond expression.

Minho then remembers that Jisung hasn’t spoken up since his confession and turns his gaze towards the other. Jisung is now smiling lightly and Minho can see some faint tears gathering in his eyes. He blinks his eyelids rapidly, trying to work out what is going on here and what Jisung’s reaction is.

Jisung steps closer to the other two.

In an instant, the boy is hurriedly running over to the other two to squeeze both of them tightly in a hug, laughing loudly.

“Hannie,” Minho whines in pain. “You’re squashing me and Felix-ah.”

Jisung only laughs at Minho’s groans of pain and smiles brightly at the way Felix contentedly snuggles closer to the both of them.

“That’s what you get for making me think you were mad at me, hyung,” Jisung jokes, allowing Felix to sweep the tears that managed to fall down his face, away from his cheeks.

“So um- Not to ruin the moment, but what does this uhm- mean?” Minho questions, blinking his eyes in confusion, the anxiety slowly lessening as the hug continues.

Felix just happily hums, not wanting to respond and have to break their hug.

Finally, Minho tugs himself out of their embrace. He is happy that they both like him back but is getting a little uncomfortable with their hugging.

He smiles awkwardly at the two of them, ruffling Felix’s hair and gesturing to the bed so they can sit or lay down together.
____________________________________________________________________________

After explaining their plan to Minho, he hesitantly agreed to be a part of it until Felix had then claimed that Minho would make a “great asset to the ‘Seduce the Friend Group Team’”. Minho had instantly agreed with the younger and lightly smirked at the idea, now wholeheartedly on board with the youngers’ shenanigans.

When Minho returns back after running like mad to his shared room with Seungmin and Hyunjin to change into some more comfortable clothing, he finds Felix and Jisung all snuggled up in the covers of Jisung’s bed. They are arguing over which movie they should watch on Netflix with Felix complaining that he doesn't want to watch the horror movie Jisung picked out.

Minho lets a genuine smile light up his features as he looks at his boys. That is until Minho decides to launch the entirety of his body at Felix, the younger shrieking loudly and causing Jisung to clamp a hand over his mouth while stifling his own laugh.

Minho let out a tired groan, letting his body relax on top of Felix’s and nuzzling his head into the younger’s neck.

“Do you just enjoy crushing people’s bodies with your own, hyung?” Felix grumbles with Minho’s entire body weight smushing him into the mattress below.

“It’s a fun pastime for me, yes,” Minho remarks back, his voice half-muffled from Felix’s neck.

Jisung lets out a fond laugh at the two of them, quickly pressing play on the horror movie he chose before Felix has the time to protest.

“HAN JISUNG, I SWEAR TO GOD-“

Chapter Text

After trying relentlessly to get Minho to talk to him or even just glance his way again, Seungmin spends the remainder of the ride silently looking out of the window with a stony expression on his face.

When they arrive home, Minho is quick to scamper off to his room, which he also happens to share with Seungmin and Hyunjin. Seungmin shakes his head and huffs out a breath. He contemplates camping out in the living room until he deems it safe enough to enter their room again but ultimately gives up on the plan in favor of sneaking into somebody else’s room to steal a charger.

He obviously doesn’t want to chance it and go into Jisung and Jeongin’s room in case his hypothesis is correct and Jisung and Minho are in fact dating. That leaves the last room. He knows Hyunjin has already permanently stolen Felix’s phone charger as Felix had already lost all hope of trying to convince the other to give it back to him a few weeks ago, so that wasn’t an option. However, he’s certain Chan will share his charger if he’s in the room or maybe Changbin might if the oldest is still at the company working.

Seungmin strides into the room and is surprised to see not only the oldest but also Hyunjin laying down on Chan’s bed. Hyunjin is passionately talking about the last chapter of the book he had just finished, which he has been immersed in for quite a while. Chan seems just as engaged in the story as Hyunjin is telling it, letting out little hums and nods while he stares down at Hyunjin, sprawled at the foot of his bed, with a fond expression.

As soon as the door swings open, both pairs of eyes are immediately on Seungmin while he stands awkwardly at the entryway.

“Hey, Seungmin-ah,” calls Chan, a bright smile on his face, contrasting the dark eye-bags under his eyes from lack of sleep.

“How was the radio broadcast?”

Seungmin grumbles something that neither of the two can pick up on. The youngest quickly looks towards the ground, a hard expression on his face, making Chan’s smile falter and the happy energy of the room dissipate.

Hyunjin shifts slightly on the bed, turning his body so that he can get a closer look at Seungmin. Chan opens his mouth to speak again, a question at the tip of his tongue before the other boy is speaking again.

“Could I borrow a charger, hyung?” Seungmin asks, too tired to even try and pull a convincing smile.

“You okay, Minnie?” Hyunjin interrupts, lightly patting the spot next to him as encouragement for the younger to sit down.

“Seungminnie, what’s up? Did something not go well at the radio show?” Chan questions next.

“I want a charger,” Seungmin says after a minute of absolute silence.

Chan pats the seat next to him, this time watching as Seungmin’s stoic expression wavers and a look of confusion and hurt makes itself clear on his face.

He pats the bed once more and this time Seungmin pads over and seats himself on the mattress.

After realizing that Seungmin won’t be the first to start the conversation, Chan starts, “Do you want to talk to both of us? Or would you like-“

“No,” Seungmin interrupts, “You’re both fine.”

Chan nods his head, Hyunjin reaching out to softly lay his hand on Seungmin’s knee.

“Why were you mad, Seungminnie?” Hyunjin looks at the other boy curiously, unsure of how to help.

Seungmin lets out a shuddering breath, the previous tension leaving his shoulders. He looks up with an almost sheepish look, his previous anger being completely forgotten as Seungmin thinks it over once more.

“Minho-hyung kissed me after the radio broadcast,” Seungmin admits, pausing as Hyunjin takes in a shocked breath and Chan looks taken aback.

“I was concerned about him. Minho-hyung had been fairly quiet the whole broadcast so I was asking if he was okay. And you know hyung....he started teasing me and it kept going back and forth until-,” his breath hitches.

“Until- he kissed me. But he- he ran off right after. And then he didn’t come back or- or talk to me at all the whole car ride home.”

Neither of the other two comments on the way Seungmin’s voice slightly falters and how his expression twists up unpleasantly as though perplexed by Minho’s reaction.

“So,” Hyunjin draws out, his eyebrows rising in thought as he plays with the comforter under his fingers. “Hyung kissed you and then- ran away?”

Seungmin simply nods in response, looking miserably at the other two. ‘I’m too tired for this,’ he thinks, shifting around on the bed until he finds a more comfortable position to sit in.

“And- I’m pretty sure Minho-hyung’s dating Jisungie,” Seungmin continues, ignoring the gasp that comes from Hyunjin and oblivious to the way he freezes up on the bed and goes completely rigid.

Chan sighs in thought, pulling Seungmin’s attention over to him. None of them notice the way Hyunjin’s body has gone completely stiff or the tears that have started gathering in the corners of his eyes.

“I think you need to talk to Minho,” Chan states simply, looking straight at Seungmin.

“I think you need to talk to both of them actually. I- I don’t know the situation too well and it seems like you don’t either. So I would just talk to them.”

“I just- I don’t know why hyung would kiss me if he’s dating Jisung. And then he just-,” Seungmin sighs.

“Talk to them,” Chan again advises, offering Seungmin an encouraging smile as he scoots closer to wrap his arms around the younger and give a tight squeeze.

“I hate conflict,” Seungmin mumbles dejectedly, leaning into Chan’s embrace, causing him to chuckle slightly before pulling away.

“If it doesn’t work out well or you need anything else, feel free to come back whenever you’d like, Seungminnie.”

Seungmin nods, a small smile gracing his features. Chan grins back, brightening up as he sees Seungmin’s face relax and watches as the corners of his mouth lift up slightly.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Seungmin,” Chan calls from inside the room.

The other stops in his tracks, quickly turning around, holding the door with one hand as he pauses.

“Did you- hate it?” Chan asks, his eyes filled with curiously and a little bit of something else that Seungmin can’t pick up on.

Seungmin instantly freezes as the question finally registers in his brain.

After a long, stretched-out silence, he speaks up once more.

“Uh- No,” he says almost in the form of a question but then looks back up at Chan with a decisive look on his face before marching out of the room to prevent getting interrogated further.

As Seungmin slips out of the door, after uttering thanks to both of the other boys, Chan is quick to pull Hyunjin towards him.

“C’mere, Jinnie.”

Hyunjin covers his hands over his face, but still manages to go entirely limp and mold himself into Chan’s side, letting his face fall into the crook of the older’s neck, hot tears slowly falling down his cheeks. Chan softly smiles, concern playing on his features, while he gently cards through Hyunjin’s hair with one hand.
____________________________________________________________________________

Once he notifies Seungmin that Minho went to Jisung’s room when the younger boy peeks his head in, Changbin also leaves, getting stopped in the hallway on his way to the living room by Hyunjin.

When the door swings open to Jeongin and Jisung’s room, Seungmin is met with the latter screaming bloody murder at his laptop, seated in the middle of the bed.

“What the actual fuck? You’re going to die, bro. What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK? WHY WOULD YOU- YOU DUMB PATHETIC SON OF A-“

Meanwhile, Felix is curled up on Jisung’s lap, his head snugly tucked into his neck, turning his back completely to the horror movie evidently playing on Jisung’s laptop. Minho is seated to the left of them, completely absorbed in the movie and his hands clutching at the sheets.

“Oh, shit,” Felix mumbles under his breath once they all look up to see Seungmin in the room.

“So I’m assuming you are here to talk to hyung,” Jisung says, allowing Felix to remove himself from his embrace.

Seungmin closes the door and steps further into the room, looking straight at Minho.

“I need to talk to both of you,” Seungmin explains, causing Minho’s eyes to widen as he sits up more on the bed.

“Should I-“

“No,” Seungmin interrupts Felix.

“Lix, you can stay. I’m assuming you told him or he wouldn’t be here right now.”

Minho nods silently. Jisung then gestures to the bed but Seungmin only shakes his head, opting to stand and get this over with.

“I’m sorry for kissing you, Seungminnie,” Minho’s voice hurriedly speaks before Seungmin can open his mouth.

Seungmin finds himself sighing. However, he refrains from asking Minho why exactly he kissed him in the first place just yet.

“Hyung,” Seungmin sighs, looking at the older who is doing a poor job at hiding his panicked expression. Or maybe Seungmin has just gotten to know Minho enough to be able to pick up on his slight changes in expression.

“Are you dating Jisung?” he finds himself asking.

“And Felix,” Minho murmurs.

“You- Wait, what?”

Seungmin looks incredulously at the older, his eyes wide. Just then it hits Seungmin how weird the whole situation is. Shouldn’t Jisung be mad and not watching horror movies together with his boyfriend who just admitted to kissing another man?

‘He’s- He’s dating Felix? And Jisung- He’s dating Jisung too,’ Seungmin thinks in astonishment. ‘Wait- Are they...all dating each other?’

“You’re...” Seungmin pauses once more and finally Jisung decides to take pity on the dumbfounded boy in front of them.

“We’re all- We’re all dating each other. Hyung, Lix, and I.”

Minho continues to stare down at the bed, anxiously fiddling with his hands. Seungmin turns his attention back to him, taking in the sight of his hyung sitting completely silent on the bed before him.

“Hyung, why did you kiss me? If you were dating Felix and Jisung, why’d you...”

“I don’t-“ Minho’s voice cracks and Felix and Jisung are quick to place comforting hands on his back.

Minho finally looks up, taking in a shuttering breath and trying to calm his racing heart and regain his composure.

“I’m- I’m sorry for kissing you, Seungminnie. I- I like you. I like Lixie and Sungie, but I also like you...and the others too. I just- I should’ve asked your permission or- or- You were just laughing and had this expression on your face. God, it was so annoying and I just-,” Minho rambles, stumbling over his words before stopping to grimace at what he just admitted.

Seungmin slowly nods, processing the information.

“And they’re-,” he gestures to Jisung and Felix. “They’re fine with you kissing me?”

“We like you too!” Felix grins before clapping a hand over his mouth at the confession.

“So you all like me...romantically?” he says in confusion.

“Wait-,” Seungmin continues before any of them can respond.

“Did you say my face was annoying?”

Seungmin turns his attention to Minho now, staring the other down.

“Yes,” Minho rolls his eyes at the younger, his previous anxiety forgotten in favor of teasing the younger.

“It was annoying. Annoyingly kissable,” he glares right back at the other.

Seungmin scoffs, “You’re unbelievable.”

“Guys! Guys! Can we get back to the part when we call confessed to Seungmin-ah?” Jisung blurts out before things can get too out of hand.

“Oh- Uh yeah,” Seungmin agrees.

“It’s okay if you don’t like us back though. Like we didn’t even ask if you were poly. And I know you’re demi so I don’t know if you’ve like gotten close enough to us yet. Or well- I mean I-“

“Sungie,” He cuts Jisung off before the other can continue his aimless rambling.

“I,” he sucks in a breath. “I like you guys too...and- and the others. I- I feel like I’ve really gotten to know each of you and- even though it was harder or took longer to get close to some of you, we eventually got there, you know? So I- yeah. I like you too,” Seungmin finally says, a wide smile lighting up his face as he looks at the other three on the bed.

Felix is quick to jump up on top of the mattress and roughly throw himself at Seungmin, almost toppling the poor boy over.

“Jesus Christ, Felix,” Jisung laughs before he too joins the hug.

Minho watches the other three from where he sits on the edge of the bed, a small grin overtaking his features.

Seungmin gives Minho a pointed look and the other loudly sighs before he begrudgingly joins the hug, all of them laughing loudly at how Felix is now pressed up entirely against Seungmin, rocking everybody’s bodies back and forth in his excitement.
____________________________________________________________________________

“I can’t believe Seungminnie and Minho-hyung like us,” Jisung giggles out to Felix, talking loud enough for the other two to clearly hear him.

Felix giggles back, playing with Jisung’s fingers while the other hand reaches over to bring Seungmin’s arm over his shoulders.

All of them are now settled onto the bed, legs all tangled up despite how much Minho had protested.

“I- I tolerate you,” Seungmin replies, grinning wildly at Felix and Jisung’s expressions after his “heartfelt declaration of love”.

“I take my confession back,” Minho grins evilly, clearly joking. “I don’t like you guys anymore.”

Before the two of them can playfully protest, Minho is already moving on to a more important discussion, at least in his opinion.

“Seungmin-ah,” he whines, turning his body to look at the other.

It’s honestly a miracle that they are all fitting on the small bed, but with Felix practically on top of Seungmin now and with all of them snuggling in close together, it really doesn’t matter to them how cramped the space is.

“Hyung,” Seungmin responds, raising his eyebrows at the older boy.

“You robbed me of a proper kiss. Ran off before Minho could get his kiss from Minnie,” Minho smirks before puckering his lips playfully at the younger.

Seungmin’s mouth drops open at the other’s words. He sees Minho’s smirk grow wider and does what anyone else would do in the situation.

Minho lets out a high-pitched shriek, giggles falling out of his mouth as he struggles to roll away from the oncoming attack of Seungmin tickling him. His eyes had widened comically when the other practically jumped at him from the other side of the bed, his hands starting to tickle Minho’s sides before he could even register what the younger’s plan was.

Soon the room is filled with giggles and the occasional screech from Minho or Felix as the four partake in a tickle fight. To this day, no one is sure who exactly won the battle but none of them will forget the way Minho’s face split into a huge smile or how laughs tumbled out of his lips after letting out a scream of surprise when Seungmin tackled him.
____________________________________________________________________________

“It’ll all be okay, right? They’ll- They’ll be okay, yes?” Hyunjin softly asks while letting his body go completely pliant against Changbin’s, letting the older hold his entire weight as he slumps into his embrace.

He feels Changbin nod against his shoulder.

“It’ll all work out,” he reassures, a kiss soon being placed on Hyunjin’s cheek before Changbin is pulling away to grab Hyunjin’s hand in his own.

“Innie’s home now. Want to go watch whatever show he’s watching in the living room?” Changbin asks, shooting Hyunjin a smile.

Hyunjin grins back at him, nodding.

Chapter Text

It’s around eight in the morning when Chan drags himself up out of bed. To be completely truthful, he hadn’t gotten any sleep last night whatsoever, but he figures since he did sleep the previous night that it’s enough to get him through the day. Chan still manages to feel fairly energetic as he rolls off his bed and onto the cold, hardwood floor that makes him hiss when his feet make contact with it. But sadly, Chan also knows that the lack of sleep will most definitely catch up to him tomorrow and that tiredness will not be great for the full day they have planned. However, he pushes down those thoughts to shuffle into the kitchen, groaning as he stretches out his back after a painful night of tossing and turning.

Chan is mixing the flour and other dry ingredients together when Felix wanders into the room. He smiles at the younger from his spot at the counter after looking up when he heard the trudging of feet.

“You’re up early,” Chan observes as the other boy sleepily folds into a chair on the other side of the counter.

Felix hums in acknowledgment, murmuring something about going to sleep rather early instead of playing video games into the late hours of night like usual.

The two remain in silence for a little while. Chan continues gathering ingredients needed for breakfast while Felix watches contentedly from his seat in the kitchen.

When Chan finishes mixing the wet ingredients together, he glances up once more only to find Felix looking off with a faraway look in his eyes and a dopey smile on his face.

Chan chuckles, shaking his head at the younger. This causes Felix to snap out of it and stare sheepishly back at Chan with a light blush dusting across his freckles. Chan thinks he looks absolutely beautiful with his messed up hair and harsh kitchen light shining down on him, accentuating the harsh lines on his face from sleeping on rumpled covers.

Chan shakes his head away from that thought and instead turns to focus on the batter in front of him.

“Happy, Felix?” he asks in English as he frowns down at the mess of flour and spilled milk he made on the countertop.

Felix lets out a content hum in agreement, letting his head rest on his arms on top of the counter.

“Yeah,” he says happily after another moment of silence.

“I’m really happy, Channie-hyung.”

This time Chan looks up, grinning back at Felix before pausing his cooking to move to the counter closer to the other boy.

“Everything work out between Seungminnie and Minho-ah? I know you were in the room with Jisung before,” Chan asks curiously, now leaning against the counter and facing Felix as he talks.

“Hm, yeah,” Felix yawns out, making the older giggle.

“Uh- I’m actually dating them,” Felix continues, his tone lifting up at the end more than it naturally would as if he isn’t sure how Chan will react.

“You’re-,” Chan looks taken aback for a moment before letting a small grin show to reassure Felix that he is nothing but happy about the news. “All of them?”

Felix nods in confirmation before unthinkingly bringing his hand up to his pulse as a sign of nervousness.

Before Chan can show his concern for the younger boy, Felix is already speaking, catching him off guard by his next words.

“Honestly, I um- like all of you guys.”

Felix quickly looks Chan in the eyes before his gaze shifts down to the granite counter in front of him. He knows Chan would never be mad at him for having romantic feelings for anyone in the group, but he can’t help but feel the doubt swirling in his chest at the words he just uttered. Felix obviously wants to be honest with Chan, but he can't help but think that the other doesn't like him back.

Chan had always had a habit of telling Felix that he was like a younger brother to him. However, he only ever compared Felix to his younger brother, Lucas, on camera and never when it was just them together. Felix logically knows that this all could’ve been due to the fact that a lot of fans ship him with Changbin. So after their manager had mentioned some fans being upset by how close the two of them were, it made sense for Chan to purposely call him his “Australian little bro” to not upset them any further. But, this doesn’t stop Felix from still being incredibly nervous.

Meanwhile, Chan takes a few seconds to process Felix’s words, letting himself think over what the younger has said before a grin slowly tugs at the sides of his mouth.

“Damn,” Chan finally breaks the silence, making the younger’s head shoot up almost instantly and his two fingers press harder against his neck.

“You guys are just makin’ your way around the friend group,” he says jokingly, smirking at Felix as the other lets out an audible sigh of relief before grinning back at Chan.

“No,” Felix stretches out the last word before laughter starts spilling out of his mouth almost immediately after.

Chan snorts, chuckling fondly at the other boy, then leaning across the counter in-between them to press a soft kiss to Felix’s cheek.

“Does this mean I can still use pick-up lines on you?”

“Yes, please,” Felix confirms, smile only growing as he sees a light flush settle itself on Chan’s face despite their joking around.

Chan looks fondly back at Felix, who is excitedly looking back at him, the nervousness from before completely gone. His grin only widens as he goes in for another kiss, this time on the lips. Soon Chan is pulling back to look Felix in the eyes while giggling at how the younger had completely melted into the kiss despite the counter in the middle of them, separating the two from each other.

“Oi Felix...I’m not a photographer, but I can-“
____________________________________________________________________________

“Yah!” Changbin shouts when he enters the kitchen area.

“Could you not? Why in the kitchen?” he glares at the couple from where he has stopped a few feet away from them.

“We’re...making pancakes,” Chan says in a questioning tone, turning back to look at Changbin while Felix continues to flip the rest of the pancakes on the pan.

“Making pancakes my ass,” Changbin grumbles, turning away from them to grab a cup from the cupboard and filling it with water.

“Hyung,” he whines. “You guys are too busy making heart-eyes at each other to make me some food,” Changbin loudly complains, sipping on his water while he watches Chan roll his eyes before moving to the other side of Felix to help him get the cooked pancakes onto a plate.
____________________________________________________________________________

Soon enough, Changbin is leaning back against the counter, devouring his pancakes, not bothering to move to sit on the seats on the other side of the counter or move to the actual table.

Felix and Chan are long gone, both going around the dorm to let people know that breakfast is ready before Chan heads off to the studio.

Changbin can’t lie. The pancakes are really good. And he’s also happy that he is able to eat them first. Usually, Seungmin would be up by now, cooking a fried egg. And Jeongin and Minho would not be far behind. Food goes fast in the dorms and it isn’t every day that one of them makes breakfast for everybody.

He’s washing his plate off in the sink when Jisung comes striding into the kitchen, letting out a big yawn. Changbin lightly chuckles, turning around to flick water at the younger after he turns off the sink.

Jisung lets out a shriek and gives Changbin a look of horror. But before he can retaliate back, Jisung notices the food on the counter, giving a loud cheer of excitement.

“Pancakes! Hell yeah!” Jisung shouts before moving over to load up a plate with his breakfast.

“Some of them are still sleeping,” Changbin whisper-shouts, slapping Jisung lightly on the arm, however, the younger boy is too busy stuffing his cheeks with pancakes to pay Changbin any mind.

Changbin’s hand then falters on the other’s arm, finally noticing the sleeveless shirt Jisung is in.

“Wow, you’ve been working out,” he offhandedly comments, too absorbed with feeling the newly developed muscle on Jisung’s arm to notice the boy choke and nearly inhale a whole pancake.

“Y-Yup,” Jisung stutters out before regaining his composure and briefly looking back at Changbin. ‘Fuck, he’s hot,’ Jisung thinks for a split second, trying to will down the nervous blush creeping up his neck.

Before Changbin can continue looking at Jisung’s bicep, he spots something moving out of the corner of his eye.

Changbin freezes for a second as he looks back at Minho, whose eyes are slowly widening as he takes in the sight in the kitchen. But all Minho does is smirk and send Changbin a quick wink, signifying for the younger to keep admiring Jisung’s arms before he walks away.

Nevertheless, Changbin quickly lets go of Jisung more out of nervousness than anything else. Jisung looks up at Changbin once more, having been too fixated on shoveling food in his mouth to notice Minho’s brief presence in the kitchen. Changbin internally coos. Jisung always looks like a squirrel whenever he eats food, his lovable cheeks puffed up as he chews. It’s one of the most adorable things about him, as well as something Changbin can easily tease the other for.

“Why’d you stop? I was enjoying the massage,” Jisung huffs jokingly.

Changbin playfully scoffs at the younger before stealing one of the pancakes off his plate.

“Hey,” Jisung pouts dejectedly. “I was going to eat that.”

Changbin only grins back at him and ruffles his hair affectionately
____________________________________________________________________________

A few weeks pass and Seungmin has become increasingly aware of the fact that Hyunjin is completely avoiding Minho. In fact, almost everyone in the dorms has picked up on the awkward tension between the two whenever Hyunjin runs into him. The boy isn’t subtle.

“Don’t talk with food in your mouth,” Seungmin groans, swatting at Hyunjin to get the older to stop.

The two of them are sitting at the dining room table, eating the food that Seungmin had insisted on ordering despite Hyunjin’s protests that he wasn’t hungry.

Everyone else was either working or hiding out in their rooms somewhere. Felix’s voice could be vaguely heard as he sang loudly to Frank Sinatra while the water ran in the shower. Seungmin and Hyunjin had both laughed at the sound, vowing to tease the boy later when he was finished taking a shower. And luckily, Minho was still at the company, most likely dancing to the new song he wanted to learn the choreography for. Or else they all would’ve all had to bear witness to Hyunjin’s not-so-subtle avoidance of the older.

“I wasn’t talking,” Hyunjin protests. “You were the one who made me laugh in the first place.”

He shakes his head at Seungmin, being sure to close his mouth as he continues chewing.

“Hey, Jinnie,” Seungmin calls after a while of chatting as they finally finish up their food.

Hyunjin hums in response, continuing to chew on a piece of chicken while signaling Seungmin to go on.

Seungmin sucks in a breath, making Hyunjin’s back straighten as he senses the seriousness on Seungmin’s face and quickly swallows his last mouthful.

They are no strangers to having deep discussions with one another, often talking for hours about serious topics. Over time, they had grown comfortable with each other and it had been extremely convenient to open up more to one another as they now shared a room (and because as soon as Minho’s head hit the sheets, he was out cold for the rest of the night).

Usually, these secrets were shared through whispered words at ungodly hours of night when the both of them couldn’t sleep. Insecurities were whispered through the night air as Seungmin sprawled out on his bed and Hyunjin curled into his comforter more, both feeling warm at the comforting presence of the other even though they couldn’t see a thing and were both in their respective beds. As of right now, Felix is currently in the shower and Jeongin had mumbled something about watching mukbangs before tiredly trudged back to his room. Seungmin was pretty sure Jisung wasn’t home as both Chan and Changbin were out brainstorming lyrics at the company, however, the boy had been known to hibernate in his room for the most part anyway. So in conclusion, this is his best bet to get Hyunjin to talk to him about what has been going on with Minho.

“What’s been going on with you and Minho-hyung these days?” Seungmin finally asks, casually gathering their trash from the table and collecting it all into one pile.

Seungmin is soon startled out of the task, his mouth dropping open in panic and concern as he looks up to find Hyunjin harshly pressing his palms against his forehead.

Hyunjin had felt the whole world freeze at the question Seungmin had uttered so calmly as if Hyunjin wasn’t already two seconds away from having a mental breakdown.

He immediately brings his hands up to press against his forehead, looking down into his lap as he tries to will away the tears already gathering in his eyes.

Now, Hyunjin isn't stupid. Yes, he can admit that sometimes he was a bit oblivious to certain things and sometimes things tend to fly right over his head. But, Hyunjin can certainly pick up on the fact that everyone knows something is upsetting him. It was only a matter of time until someone asked what was up.

Hyunjin hasn't been avoiding Minho per se. Or at least he hasn’t been trying to. However, whenever his gaze lands upon Minho, he is reminded of the fact that he probably made everything ten times more complicated between the older and Jisung and also the fact that Minho most likely hates him. Well, maybe hate was a stretch, but Hyunjin had gotten to the point where he couldn’t stop overthinking things, and he didn’t have the courage to talk to Minho and fix the problem. Besides, Minho hadn’t done nothing wrong. ‘It was me who kissed Jisung and messed with their relationship,’ Hyunjin reminds himself, swallowing thickly as he regains momentary control of the tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

A few weeks ago, Seungmin had come into Chan, Changbin, and Felix’s room, where Hyunjin had been relaxing on the bed with the oldest. The other had told both him and Chan that Minho had kissed him and Seungmin was confused because he believed Minho was dating Jisung. Hyunjin had frozen at his words, a chill running down his spine before the words could even register in his brain. Hyunjin had felt sick to his stomach. He and Jisung had kissed one day when they were relaxing on the couch together a few weeks prior. He had kissed Jisung when the younger was already in a relationship with Minho. It was all Hyunjin’s fault. He should have never let his feelings for Jisung get in the way of his relationship with Minho.

‘And now,’ Hyunjin thinks exasperatedly. ‘Minho-hyung is probably mad at me…and I probably messed up their relationship.’ Hyunjin has spent countless nights overthinking and analyzing Minho’s actions for signs that he hates Hyunjin and is going to leave him. ‘It’s not like hyung would have liked you anyway,’ his brain helpfully supplies.

At that, the tears finally start streaming down Hyunjin’s face as he chokes in a breath of air.

“-n. Hyunjin. Hyun…”

Seungmin’s voice finally coaxes him out of his thoughts and he blinks up at him, sniffling.

The younger’s face breaks at the sight of the tears running down Hyunjin’s cheeks. The other may cry often, but it always hurts Seungmin to see any of the members crying. Although he may tease them and pretend like he doesn't like them, Seungmin truly cares about the others and always wishes he could do more for them.

Hyunjin whimpers out a choked sob before he can stop himself, bringing his elbows inward to hide his face more from Seungmin. He feels the younger bring his hands closer and soon Seungmin is pulling Hyunjin’s hands away from
his blotchy face and intertwining their fingers together.

The sweet gesture has Hyunjin crying harder, completely overwhelmed as the other continues to hold his hands while the tears fall down his face. Hyunjin’s thoughts are all jumbled as he tries to form coherent sentences. And Seungmin just hopes that the shower is loud enough so that Felix won’t hear Hyunjin’s loud blubbering and painful sobs.

“K- Kiss- Kissed Ji- Jisungie,” he manages to get out between small sobs, watching pathetically as the tears fall off his face and hit the table below. “An’ y- you s- s- said that he’s d- dating Min- Minho-hyung and I-.”

Another sob wracks through Hyunjin’s body, but Seungmin can pretty much understand what is upsetting the other boy so much. He already had his suspicions after talking with Minho, Jisung, and Felix the night that they had all confessed to one another. Seungmin feels a bit bad for not realizing how much his words and claim had affected Hyunjin without him knowing.

“I m- messed up,” Hyunjin finally says, his voice higher than normal and not much louder than a whisper.

Seungmin unconsciously squeezes the other’s hands after picking up on the slight shake in Hyunjin’s voice. He gently smooths over Hyunjin’s hands with his thumbs until his sobs turn into sniffles and the tears finally slow.

“I d- don’t want them to h- hate me, Seungminnie,” he admits in a small voice after having calmed down, finally looking up at Seungmin and making the other’s heart clench in his chest at the sight of his puffy eyes and the visible tear tracks on his face.

“Minho-hyung and Jisung-ah don’t hate you,” the younger is quick to reassure, trying to take his mind off the fact that Hyunjin is so stunningly beautiful even with his face blotchy and red after having cried for so long.

“They wouldn’t hate you, Hyunjinnie,” he repeats quietly.

“Are they-“ the older’s voice breaks. “Are they dating?”

Hyunjin looks at him with pleading eyes and the other internally winces about having to hurt Hyunjin even more by telling him the truth.

“Yes,” Seungmin simply replies, giving an honest answer to the other’s question.

He is quick to continue when he sees a stray tear roll down Hyunjin’s face.

“But you didn’t mess up anything.”

Hyunjin scoffs in disbelief, taking his hands out of Seungmin’s to wipe at his nose and cheeks with his sleeve.

“I’m serious,” Seungmin continues, frowning a bit at Hyunjin.

“Come on. Let’s go to the couch.”

Hyunjin nods, standing up by the table while Seungmin tosses their trash in the garbage can before heading into the living room.

“We should watch anime,” Seungmin jokingly says, plopping down on the couch next to Hyunjin.

Hyunjin only shrugs and mutters, "Sure.”

Seungmin raises his eyebrows in surprise and glances over at the older, seeing him staring off into space. He lets out a sigh and uses one hand to pinch Hyunjin on the cheek.

The other boy lets out a loud yelp, jumping a foot in the air at the sudden pain.

“Seungmin-ah,” he whines, glaring at the other with a look of complete disgust on his face.

Seungmin smiles and shakes his head before his expression falters and he turns his body on the couch a bit to better look at Hyunjin.

“You zoned out for a lot longer than usual. Talk to me.”

Hyunjin freezes for a moment before nodding. He hesitantly turns his back to Seungmin and then lowers himself down until his head is resting on the younger’s thigh.

Seungmin runs his hands through Hyunjin’s hair as he waits for him to speak, lightly scraping against his scalp and untangling the knots in his hair. Hyunjin hums from the back of his throat, closing his eyes and relaxing against the couch.

He cracks an eye open to look up at Seungmin before he starts, “I kissed Jisung.”

“Well...I guess it was Jisung that kissed me. But it was my fault, okay? And now I’ve- now I’ve made Jisung cheat on Minho-hyung because I’m stupid and I- I couldn’t keep my dumb feelings under control,” Hyunjin’s voice gets smaller and smaller with each word he murmurs, squeezing his eyes tightlyy shut to prevent himself from starting to cry once more.

Seungmin hums again at what Hyunjin had said.

“Is that why you are avoiding hyung?” he carefully asks, his hands never leaving Hyunjin’s hair as he continues raking through the strands with his fingers.

“Honestly...” Hyunjin sighs.

“I don’t know why I’m avoiding Minho-hyung. I just- I feel bad for...you know. And I- I keep overthinking things and-,” Hyunjin cuts himself off, his voice strained as he turns his head to press against Seungmin’s stomach and let out a muffled groan.

“Jisung kissed you, Hyunjin-ah,” Seungmin emphasizes. “You didn’t do anything wrong. And I can assure you that you didn’t mess up their relationship.”

Hyunjin nods slightly, further burrowing his face into the bottom of Seungmin’s baggy shirt.

Seungmin pauses his hands, pulling a sound of dissatisfaction from Hyunjin. Quickly, he brings his hands to Hyunjin’s face and tilts it backward, so he can look into the other’s eyes before asking his next question.

“Do you like Jisung? Is that why you feel so bad?”

Hyunjin stutters for a moment before going silent for two reasons. For one, Seungmin has hit it right on the mark. Hyunjin feels bad. He feels so guilty for liking Jisung when he is clearly dating Minho. And feels even more selfish that he also likes Minho, as well as the rest of his friends. How could he be so greedy that he doesn’t just like one, but all of his members? And two, because Seungmin is looking Hyunjin right in the eyes and Hyunjin can feel his head stop for a split second as he stares up into those wide eyes and slightly pursed lips. Seungmin is absolutely breathtaking and Hyunjin isn’t one hundred percent sure if he’s breathing anymore.

“Hyunjin?” Seungmin asks in confusion after the older continues staring up at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Do you like Jisung-ah?” he reiterates.

“Y- yeah,” Hyunjin finally manages out.

“Actually- Can I tell you something?” he asks shyly.

“No,” Seungmin responds, his face stretching into a wide grin when Hyunjin’s mouth falls open in surprise.

Hyunjin gasps when Seungmin starts laughing, sitting up and turning around in one motion before he begins to repeatedly slap Seungmin’s shoulder. This action only causes Seungmin’s laughter to increase, causing Hyunjin to pout at him, his cheeks puffing out as he skulks.

“Well,” asks Seungmin expectantly.

“Are you going to tell me or not?” he continues, laughing goofily.

Hyunjin shakes his head, laughing along with him before sucking in a deep breath to gather his courage.

“I like you...not just Sungie. And- I like the others too. I don’t know how that happened, but I just- You all mean a lot to me and I- I want us to be together forever because I- I wouldn’t be the person I am without all of you.”

Seungmin’s words die on the tip of his tongue at the confession, his eyes widening at Hyunjin’s heartfelt words. He goes speechless, not sure of what to even say in this situation.

Hyunjin finally looks up from where his eyes were locked with the couch below him and Seungmin can see a few tears trickling down from his eyes.

Before the younger can even think about it, he is already moving to gently brush away the tears from his cheeks. Hyunjin’s eyes flutter shut. Seungmin’s mouth opens once again, but nothing comes out. So instead of expressing himself vocally, he leans in closer until there’s only an inch of space separating the two of them.

Hyunjin’s eyes blink open and he almost flinches away at the closeness of Seungmin’s face before he catches himself. He smiles warmly at the other, his eyes crinkling upon realizing that Seungmin’s eyes aren’t on him and instead, gazing down at his lips.

He lets out a little chuckle, making Seungmin’s eyes snap up again to his face and Seungmin grins back at him at seeing the matching smile adorning the other’s face.

Hyunjin leans in until their lips are just brushing against each other. And Seungmin is the one who finally presses their mouth together in a sweet kiss. They stay there for a moment, both trying not to smile into the kiss before Hyunjin is pulling away.

“Sorry for being cheesy,” he breathes out, smiling at Seungmin once more.

Seungmin only laughs, shaking his head at Hyunjin.

“You aren’t dating Minho-hyung too, are you?” Hyunjin jokes, letting his head drop down onto Seungmin’s shoulder.

Seungmin tenses immediately at the words and reality comes rushing back to him as he remembers why they were sitting on the couch, talking, in the first place.

Hyunjin pulls back after feeling the younger tense, looking at Seungmin with a lost expression.

“Uh- yeah, I- Hyunjin, I actually need to tell you something as well. I am actually dating-“ Seungmin’s words get cut off before he can finish by someone entering the living room from the hallway.

“Shit, sorry,” Felix exclaims, his hair wrapped in a towel on top of his head while he looks guiltily at the couple on the couch.

“I was j- just going to get something to eat,” he adds sheepishly, stopping his moments towards the kitchen.

“It’s okay, Lix,” Seungmin waves his off.

He glances over at Hyunjin, who still seems lost in thought, pondering what on Earth Seungmin could’ve been about to say.

Seungmin hesitates before turning to Felix, who is looking curiously at the both of them as he rubs at his head with the towel before letting it drop to the ground.

“Felix, I was actually thinking that we could tell Hyunjin,” he says pointedly, raising his eyebrows at Felix to convey what he’s trying to say.

“Oh! You mean…”

Seungmin nods and poor Hyunjin is still looking as confused as ever.

“What’s going on? What are you going to tell me?” he questions, glancing back and forth between Felix and Seungmin.

Suddenly, a smile is making its way across Felix’s face and he pauses, running his hands through his hair to flatten it out and soon is racing over to the couch and pulling Hyunjin up. The older easily complies and lets himself get dragged up from the sofa.

“Hey,” Felix giggles out, securing his arms around Hyunjin’s waist and smiling up at the other.

“Hi?” Hyunjin responds, the confusion on his face melting into a small smile and chuckling at the other boy.

Then Felix is pressing his body even closer to Hyunjin’s and connecting their lips in a short kiss. Hyunjin goes rigid in shock before sighing into the kiss, tightening his arms around the younger’s shoulders. Felix finally pulls away with a gasp before grinning giddily up at the older.

“So you like me too, right?” he asks.

Hyunjin nods dumbly before breaking into laughter. Felix joins in, giggling softly along with Hyunjin as Seungmin also chuckles at the two of them from the couch.

“W-wait,” Hyunjin gasps out, his laugher finally dying down as he turns to Seungmin.

“You’re fine with me kissing Lixie?”

Seungmin smiles brightly back at the two of them from the couch.

“Yes. I like Felix too, Jinnie.”

Hyunjin looks visibly relieved at the words before he is cupping Felix’s face and kissing him. Felix’s body relaxes into his as they kiss for a bit longer this time.

Seungmin eventually clears his throat, making the couple instantly jump away from each other and look at Seungmin, each with a light flush adorning their cheeks. Hyunjin looks a little sheepish while Felix is grinning like mad at Seungmin.

“We should all talk,” Seungmin suggests, looking fondly at the two of them.

“Yes, of course! How ‘bout we go to your guys’ room?” Felix suggests and before either of them can respond, he is taking both of their hands and leading them to the bedroom.

“What’s up?” Jisung greets them as soon as the three of them walk into the room.

“What are you doing on my bed?” Hyunjin shakes his head at the younger, who is perched up on the pillows of his bed.

“Innie kicked me out to watch his stupid food videos in peace,” Jisung pouts, rolling his eyes at the maknae’s past actions.

“You probably deserved it,” Seungmin remarks.

“No the fuck I did not,” Jisung argues, throwing his head back dramatically onto the pillows. “I was simply bored and wanted to talk with Jeongin-ah. It’s not my fault that I had nothing to do because I’m such a musical genius and finished writing my lyrics for the day.”

Felix shakes his head at Jisung while Hyunjin’s body shakes with laugher.

“Sungie, you’re generally fairly quiet, but when you get bored you never stop talking. IN-ah had every right to throw you out,” Felix says, walking over to the bed and settling down next to Jisung.

Jisung glares at Felix and lets out a huff.

Before he can argue back to Felix, Seungmin quickly speaks up.

“We’re telling Hyunjin.”

“About what?” Jisung hums, looking down at his phone and scrolling aimlessly through Instagram.

Seungmin sighs in exasperation, muttering incredulously under his breath, "Really?”

“What did you need to tell me?” Hyunjin prompts after the two of them settle at the foot of the bed.

“We… We’re all dating,” Felix is the first to blurt out.

“Wait, what? We’re telling him that?” Jisung yells in disbelief, looking shocked as he throws down his phone to tune into the conversation.

Seungmin stares at Jisung with judgment clearly written on his face, disbelieving that the older could be so dense and not have understood what he was referring to in the first place.

Hyunjin looks taken aback. He was definitely not expecting that. ‘Wait,’ he thinks. ‘Did they mean…’

“Do you mean Jisung too?” he asks with wide eyes, patting Jisung’s knee while looking back at Felix.

“Yes, Sungie and- and Minho-hyung too,” Seungmin clarifies.

“Oh my God,” Hyunjin breathes out.

“Shit,” he curses, pulling his knees up to his chest, his elbows resting on them while his fingers grip at his hair.

“I thought that- I thought that I had messed everything up and that- and that Minho-hyung hated me for getting in between your relationship and I-,” Hyunjin cuts himself off with a groan.

“Sorry, Jinnie,” Jisung chuckles, placing his hand on top of Hyunjin’s.

“That was completely my fault,” he admits. “Felix and I just came up with this plan to get everybody to fall in love with us and you...you were an easy target.”

Hyunjin scoffs and looks back at Jisung, who gives him a shrug in response.

“It worked didn't it?” the younger teases playfully, grinning back at Hyunjin.

Felix lets out a snort, now clinging onto Jisung’s side and nestling his head into the other’s shoulder.

“So you- all of you like me?” Hyunjin clarifies.

“God, yes. There’s nothing not to like, dumbass,” Jisung proclaims, sending a finger heart Hyunjin’s way.

Hyunjin swats Jisung on the chest before falling forward onto his body, laughing. Jisung smiles and holds Hyunjin back, wrapping his arms around the older’s shoulders.

“Want to know our plan to trick the rest to fall in love with us?”

“Oh dear God,” Seungmin mutters under his breath.

“Sungie,” Felix whines.

“We aren’t tricking them. They will fall in love with us on their own. We are simply giving them a push in the right direction,” he reasons, gesturing his hands violently at Jisung.

Jisung automatically agrees, “Of course, Lix. If they fall in love with us then it’s their fault. That’s on them.”

Hyunjin’s laughter only increases and Seungmin shakes his head at them with a sunny smile on his face.
____________________________________________________________________________

When Minho comes in later from the studio, he walks in to find Seungmin loudly laughing with both Felix and Hyunjin screaming at him while Jisung throws the Uno cards down on the ground next to the bed. He pauses in the doorway, debating whether or not he even wants to know what’s going on. Minho has half a mind to walk right back out of the door, however, he is in too much bewilderment at seeing Hyunjin willingly hang out in the room after the younger had been going out of his way to avoid Minho and only setting foot in their room when the older was asleep.

“How?” Hyunjin shouts, both his and Felix’s mouths dropped open in astonishment.

“How did you win?” he repeats, dumbfounded.

“I think we need a rematch,” Jisung states.

Then the boy moves in closer to peck both Hyunjin and Felix on the cheek, muttering, “We’ll get him next time.”

Minho’s bag makes a loud thump when it hits the ground as he stares at the scene with wide eyes, blinking repeatedly in confusion and shock. Just five hours ago, Hyunjin was completely ignoring him. And Minho had no idea what he had done to make Hyunjin react in such a way. And now here Hyunjin is, being kissed by Jisung and playing a brutal game of Uno with the rest of his boyfriends.

The sound makes the four of them turn their attention to the door and Felix smiles at Minho while Jisung lightly smirks, gesturing to Hyunjin.

“We got Jinnie?” Minho finally grins, picking up his discarded bag from the floor before chucking it over in the general vicinity of his bed.

“You got me,” Hyunjin confirms, shooting Minho a warm smile back and causing the older’s smile to only grow before he shuffles closer to the bed.

Minho squeezes his lips together, making a kissy face as he moves closer to the side of the bed that Hyunjin is on.

“Come on,” he whines in English through his puckered lips.

Hyunjin groans at Minho’s behavior and tries to roll over into Jisung to hide his face from the older.

This only proves fruitless as Minho collapses onto the bed directly on top of Hyunjin, pressing his sweaty body up against the younger’s and letting out a sigh of content when Hyunjin lets out a loud shriek.

“Hyung, stop! Stop! Oh my god-“

“Come on, Hyunjinnie. Where is my kiss?”

Eventually, Minho is gifted a light peck on the lips from Hyunjin, causing him to freeze, not expecting Hyunjin to actually give into his playful antics. This makes the other’s laugh and Minho sends them each a glare, regaining his composure to slot his lips against Hyunjin’s once more.

“Now go shower,” Seungmin says. “You’re all gross right now, hyung.”

Minho laughs but complies anyway, rolling off of Hyunjin before gathering some clothes and moving to the bathroom.

The others can faintly hear Minho yelling, “IN-ah stop hogging the bathroom and let hyung shower.”

Seungmin all but rushes over to the door, yanking it open to yell out to the two of them.

“Jeongin,” Seungmin calls. “Listen to your hyung. He’s stinky.”

The others laugh loudly at that. Felix slaps Hyunjin on the chest while he chuckles while Hyunjin’s eyes form crescents as he continues snickering at Seungmin’s words.

“We’ll let you join a game of Uno with us and beat Seungminnie,” Jisung adds, siding up to Seungmin at the door, who playfully swats at him.

“If Seungmin-hyung wins then you owe me food, Jisung-hyung,” Jeongin calls back from the bathroom.

“I hope you have your wallet nearby,” Hyunjin chuckles, causing Jisung to look back at him with betrayal written all over his face before Seungmin is bursting into laughter once more.

Chapter Text

The warm midday light shines through the clear, sliding doors in the kitchen, illuminating Chan as he pulls out the pineapple juice from the fridge. He had decided to go home for a bit to get some lunch before heading back to work. As he pulls out a glass from the cupboard and fills it with juice, another figure comes bounding into the room. Minho is in a good mood and Chan can easily tell with the way the boy is practically vibrating where he stands, smiling up at Chan in a greeting. The younger sends him a salute and Chan laughs, returning the gesture.

Whenever the other boy is in a good mood, everyone in the dorms can tell. Minho moves with a light bounce in his step and whenever he gets excited, the boy’s behavior is almost borderline childish. It is absolutely adorable. And Chan loves nothing more than to see the members happy and in good moods.

“Hey, Minho-ah,” Chan chuckles, watching fondly as Minho unconsciously smiles down at the counter.

Chan has always loved Minho’s smile. In fact, the reason why he had fallen in love with the seven of his members was because of their smiles. There’s something so endearing and lovable about how a person smiles and Chan thinks that as long as they are happy, he is too.

When Minho smiles, his gums show. It’s possibly one of the cutest things to see when the younger genuinely smiles at something or gets excited. Every time Minho grins, he practically glows.

Changbin’s smile is different. Changbin looks so bright when he smiles and Chan loves it especially whenever Changbin laughs as the other always manages to laugh with his whole body.

Jisung is similar. When he grins, Jisung’s cheeks puff up each time and his whole face brightens as his lips form a small heart-shaped smile.

When Jeongin smiles, his eyes shine. As his face stretches out into a smile, his eyes sparkle and it always manages to make Chan’s chest hurt.

Felix’s smile was the first smile that Chan fell in love with. When Felix smiles, his whole face lifts, and his eyes crinkle in happiness as he looks at you.

Hyunjin’s smile was possibly one of the most beautiful things Chan had ever seen. The younger’s eyes turn into crescents whenever he smiles and he even has slight dimples similar to Chan himself.

And lastly, Seungmin’s huge smiles make Chan endlessly happy. Whenever he smiles, Seungmin smiles with his eyes. And whenever he would grin in happiness, Seungmin’s mouth would drop open in a smile. It made Chan love him even more.

Each of the members had different smiles and Chan was lucky enough to get to see those smiles every day. Maybe that’s why the leader had fallen for them all so fast. It was just something about the way they smiled, especially when they were smiling back at him.

“Hyung?” Minho interrupts his thoughts, cocking his head to the side at the oldest.

“Sorry,” Chan replies sheepishly, smiling at Minho before taking a sip of his juice.

“Everything workin’ out for you?” Chan continues, his face lifting up at the corners of his mouth when he sees Minho try and fail to contain the big smile on his face.

“Everything’s great, Channie-hyung,” Minho laughs. “Everything okay for you? You were staring off into space for a while there, hyung.”

Chan nods, shooting Minho a reassuring smile.

“Want juice?” he offers, holding up his glass to Minho.

“I’m good,” he replies, walking over to Chan and taking a sip from the cup anyway.

The older cocks an eyebrow at him.

“Thought you said you didn’t want any.”

Minho giggles, not responding and instead opting to take another sip of the juice.

“Hey!” Chan protests, swatting Minho away from his drink.

“Want me to make lunch? I’m going to make myself something and you’re also here so…” Minho offers, moving around Chan to look in the fridge and scan the shelf for ingredients he may use.

“Damn, you must be in a really good mood today,” Chan remarks, smiling happily as he senses Minho rolling his eyes.

“Nevermind then,” Minho huffs, closing the fridge.

“No! No!” Chan is quick to protest, striding quickly over to Minho to wrap his arms around his waist and rest his head on the younger’s shoulder.

“Please. I want food, Minho-ah,” Chan whines.

Minho responds by attempting to wiggle out of Chan’s embrace, causing the other to laugh loudly at Minho’s struggle.

The boy huffs and turns around in Chan’s arms, only having managed to walk the couple backward.

“Hyung, let me-,” Minho’s words get cut off as he finally notices the proximity of their faces, his next words catching in his throat.

Chan’s cheeks are also a bit flushed as he looks back at Minho, who is now only about an inch away from his face.

After a few seconds of silence with Chan’s hands still wrapped about Minho’s waist, the younger finally gets a hold of himself. One side of his face lifts into a teasing smile and he moves in closer to Chan, looking up into his eyes.

“W- what are you doing?” Chan asks, his eyes growing wider as Minho further lessens the space in between them.

“Well, I was going to make lunch. But then you stopped me, hyung,” he sighs, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

Chan’s cheeks further darken and he unthinkingly tightens his hands on Minho’s waist and lightly squeezes.

The other’s face morphs into a light smirk before he closes the distance between them, pressing his lips against Chan’s. His hands lift up from his sides to hold onto Chan’s shoulders while he leans into him.

Meanwhile, the other is in absolute shock, freezing instantly as Minho’s lips meet his own. Minho feels the older boy tense up and immediately moves to pull away, a feeling of dread filling him as he realizes that Chan isn’t kissing back at all.

Minho pulling away causes the older to snap out of it and he quickly brings his hand to the back of Minho’s neck, catching him before he pulls back completely and tugging Minho even closer into the kiss. He firmly presses his lips against Minho’s, this time kissing him back and smiling into the kiss when Minho mewls and eagerly kisses back.

When they both separate, Chan smiles back at Minho, who grins back at him with his ears practically on fire. And it is there that Chan decides he likes Minho’s smile a lot better when the younger is cutely blushing and his lips are fuller from the kiss they shared.

“You really like kisses, huh?” Chan hums, giggling when Minho shoots him a look.

“Hm, kitten?” he teases, remembering the sound Minho made when Chan pulled him back into the kiss.

“Shut up,” Minho mumbles back, clearly embarrassed as his ears only seem to turn redder and he looks to the side to avoid eye contact.

Chan opens his mouth to speak again, but Minho is instantly cutting him off by placing two fingers on his lips to shush him. Chan lets go of Minho’s waist in favor of removing his hand, only the younger has already pulled away and is walking a few steps back from him.

“Wait here,” the younger instructs, smiling evilly. “I have to go get something, hyung.”

Chan shakes his head in disbelief but shoos Minho away to go bring back whatever he needs to get. Minho grins and scurries from the kitchen and down the hallway.

A loud bang resonates through the house and Chan lets out a quiet laugh, shaking his head.

“Try not to break down the door, Minho-ah,” Chan calls out before moving over to the fridge and sifting around for something to eat.

In the meantime, Minho is racing into his shared room, hoping to find a certain Hwang Hyunjin and Kim Seungmin and maybe even a Han Jisung if he’s lucky.

Minho yanks open the door, his grin widening as he hears Chan call out to him to be careful not to break down any doors.

“Jesus Christ, hyung,” Jisung yelps, the room practically vibrating from the force Minho used to throw open the door.

Seungmin also looks up from his bed towards Minho and Jisung uses this momentary distraction to stealthily climb up the ladder to his bed.

However, Jisung’s not nearly as sneaky as he thinks he is and Seungmin almost immediately notices his advances. The younger places his book down on his lap, making sure to keep his place as he sits up more to stare Jisung down as he continues his ascent up to his bed.

“Don’t come up here,” Seungmin complains, letting out a huffy sigh as Jisung only smiles and continues his way up the ladder.

“Hey! Where’s Hyunj-,” Minho’s question gets interrupted as Seungmin is loudly whining again at Jisung who has finally made his way onto the other's bed.

“Don’t sit on my bed. You’re dirty, Jisung. Move,” Seungmin protests, whining at the boy to get off and leave him be.

“How am I dirty?” Jisung whines back just as loudly.

Minho’s eyes roll so far back in his head that he’s momentarily afraid they will stick like that.

He lets out a groan at his younger boyfriends before backtracking out of his room to find Hyunjin by himself.

Not a minute later does Chan see Minho happily zoom past him on his way towards the bathroom. His eyes instantly snap to the boy rushing past him and then Chan is watching in amusement as he disappears from his sight only to come back a second later, running back towards the bedrooms. This time when Minho crosses in front of his line of sight, he has an unhappy Hyunjin in tow.

“Hyung, my hair!” Hyunjin wails while Minho hurriedly tugs him down the hall.

“My hair is still wet! It’s going to drip onto the floor, Minho-hyung,” he continues to whine, attempting to wrench his arm from Minho’s grasp to try and slow their fast pace. “Hyung! Come on, really? You couldn’t have waited until I dried my hair off? I’m going to catch a cold!”

Chan watches in amusement as they cross in front of his spot at the counter, glancing down every once in a while to spoon another mouthful of food and bring it to his lips to eat while Minho pulls Hyunjin out of sight and down the hall once more. The older shakes his head, chuckling quietly and wondering what on Earth Minho is going to get and how it involves Hyunjin.

Soon enough, the leader hears four distinct voices carrying through the dorms as their footsteps draw nearer and nearer. And the first voice he hears walking towards the kitchen has Chan chuckling again.

“Hyung, do you want me to catch a cold? Do you want me to get sick? Wait… don’t answer that, Minho-hyung.”

“We need to go bombard Chan-hyung with our love. And no, I don’t want you to get sick. That’s why we stopped shoving tissues in your mouth. See? I care about your health, you brat,” Minho hisses back, his footsteps growing louder as he increases his pace towards the kitchen.

“Could that not have waited ten minutes for me to dry my hair?” Hyunjin groans back as Minho practically skips down the hall towards Chan.

Meanwhile, the leader is laughing at their conversation, going back to eating as he waits for his four members to arrive in the kitchen to apparently “attack Chan with love”. He sighs fondly, placing his used bowl and plate into the sink and wrapping up the leftovers to put back in the fridge for later use.

Chan eventually toons into the conversation once more and can tell the group has now entered the living room as their voices are easy to pick up from where he’s standing in the kitchen.

‘Does it really take that long to get to the kitchen?’ the oldest wonders, moving over to the table to sit down and check the time on his phone.

“The ‘Seduce Chan Plan’ is a go,” Hyunjin says as they enter the living room.

He fakes seriousness until Jisung makes eye contact with him and they both are laughing goofily at Hyunjin’s words, the older having (slightly) forgotten about the state of his hair and the utter betrayal of his oldest boyfriend wrenching him out of the bathroom before he could dry it.

“Seducing him?” Seungmin asks incredulously, bursting into laughter along with the other two.

“At least I don’t need to seduce him. Channie-hyung already likes me,” Minho says confidently, teasing the rest of them.

“You know I can hear you, right?” Chan’s voice finally calls out from the dining room table, deciding that he should speak up despite finding the situation extremely humorous and causing all of them to freeze in their tracks.

“No you can’t,” Jisung calls back loudly.

“Pretend you didn’t hear us, hyung. We need to seduce you,” he sputters out while the rest are still taken aback at the thought that Chan had heard their conversation the whole time while they made their way over to him.

Minho borderline cackles at that, hastily skipping the last few steps and rushing into the dining room. The others are quick to shake off their momentary shock to laugh and run after him.

Chan looks up at them as they all come running in from the living room, rolling his eyes at the four of his members, his eyes shining brightly.

“God,” he laughs, placing his phone face down on the table to give his full attention to the four of them.

“I’ve liked all you guys since forever.”
____________________________________________________________________________

“IN-ah,” Changbin calls, pushing open Jeongin and Jisung’s bedroom door after just having passed the ladder making some teasing remark to a bright red Chan in the kitchen, who was groaning loudly and hiding his face away with both hands.

“Changbin-hyung,” Jeongin calls back in the same voice, clearly mocking Changbin as the older flounces into the room and unsuccessfully attempts to shut the door behind him.

Jeongin is lying on his bed with his bare feet facing towards Changbin while he rests on his stomach and looks down at his phone.

“What are you doing?” Changbin sings, shuffling into the room and managing to shove the door closed this time.

The older flops onto the bed next to Jeongin, reaching out for the other’s phone. The maknae swats away his hand, shifting a bit to the left to distance himself from Changbin.

“IN-ah,” the other whines, pushing himself up to then settle on top of the maknae as he tries to read what’s on the younger’s phone.

“What are you doing?” he asks again, his body pressed up against IN’s back as his head pears over his shoulder.

“Nothing, hyung,” Jeongin groans under Changbin’s weight.

He shuts off his phone and uses one hand to repeatedly hit one of Changbin’s arms which are wrapped around his own as the older’s elbows dig into the mattress below to keep from completely crushing the younger.

“What are you doing?” Changbin repeats, jerking his head down quickly to hit Jeongin’s shoulder with his chin.

“Nothing! Nothing, Changbin-hyung,” Jeongin protests.

“What were you doing on your phone? Let me do it with you.”

“Get off! Hyung, you heavy,” the younger complains in reply, attempting to worm his way out from the body draped on top of him.

Changbin leans to his side, rolling off of the younger with an annoyed huff. Then he wraps one arm over IN’s shoulders and uses the other to reach for the younger’s phone once more.

“Let me see.”

“It’s a one-player game, hyung,” Jeongin laughs, opening his phone once again to resume the game he was playing earlier.

Changbin doesn’t respond and opts to watch as the younger continues playing KartRider or Super Mario Kart or whatever racing game the younger is currently winning.

Jeongin plays for a few minutes, yelling occasionally when he almost messes up and swerves off to the side.

Changbin will admit that he’s pretty good at the game despite the annoying screaming right next to him whenever the younger turns a sharp corner in the game.

“Sh- Shit!” Jeongin exclaims as he messes up, watching in defeat as two other players pass him in the game.

“Jeongin,” Changbin gasps. “Who taught you such foul language? It was Jisung-ah wasn’t it? That bastard.”

Jeongin laughs, momentarily forgetting about his loss, and watches as the older lets out a groan and sits up on the bed.

“Hyung?” Jeongin starts, selecting the new game icon on his phone before briefly glancing up.

Changbin lets out a grunt of acknowledgment, pulling out his phone to check if he has any new messages.

“Everyone’s acting weird,” the younger states, not bothering to look up as he modifies his avatar in the game.

The older slowly turns off his phone and drops it onto the bed at the other’s words, letting out a small, thoughtful hum. The younger glances over at his phone as it bounces once on the mattress before laying still.

“I think-,” Changbin begins before pausing and mulling over his thoughts once again. “I think they like each other and are just- working stuff out right now.”

The other pauses at his words and lets his phone fall flat, ignoring the flashing screen asking him to pick a vehicle to use in the next race.

“Wait,” Jeongin sits up on the bed, glancing over at Changbin.

“Each other,” he says in almost a question, slightly baffled by the older’s words.

“Yeah,” Changbin reaffirms.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” he shrugs, glancing back down at the younger to gauge his reaction.

Jeongin hesitantly nods back, not meeting Changbin’s eyes. He had never considered the idea that the other members could like someone in the group or multiple people at that. He figures it isn’t that hard to believe. They’ve always been close as friends. Then Jeongin freezes, his whole body tensing at the thought that just popped into his mind. ‘Does this mean- some of them might like me?’ he thinks.

“IN-ah?” Changbin nudges his shoulder, turning his body so his back can rest more comfortably against the pillows.

Jeongin looks up, the call of his name seemingly startling him out of his thoughts. Then the younger boy is hesitantly crawling forward and up onto Changbin’s lap. He relaxes against him, letting out a small sigh, settling his back against the older’s chest before he leans his head back so he can look up at Changbin.

The maknae laughs as his head lulls over Changbin’s shoulders and back onto the pillows behind them. Changbin shakes his head, but can’t help the small smile that tugs at his lips.

“We should watch the sequel of that movie we watched with Hyunjin-hyung,” Jeongin suggests, flinging his arms to either side on the bed.

Changbin hums in acknowledgment, moving his neck a bit to the side to avoid the younger’s head hitting his own if the boy decided to sit up more on his lap.

“The one from all those weeks ago?”

Jeongin makes a small sound of confirmation before his mouth drops open in a loud yawn.

“There’s a sequel?” Changbin exclaims in shock, excitedly turning his head to look up at the maknae situated on his lap.

“Yes, hyung. I told you that before,” Jeongin laughs out.

“Whatever,” he scoffs back, pausing before stating, “We should watch that though.”

The younger loudly laughs back before stretching his foot out to blindly feel for his phone flung somewhere on the bed.

“Let's watch on my phone,” Changbin suggests, slapping Jeongin’s leg to get him to stop.

“God no, hyung,” he shakes his head. “We’ll use mine,” he insists.

“IN-ah!” Changbin yells, making a fist with his hand before bringing it down on Jeongin’s shoulder, making him cry out before laughter takes over both of them.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Why didn’t you wait for me, hyung? I could have come with you to seduce Channie-hyung,” Felix pouts, his words hard to make out from around the toothbrush in his mouth.

“Well,” Minho starts, motioning for Felix to move out of the way so he can reach for the toothpaste.

“You already got to seduce him first, Lix-ah. It was only fair,” he continues, allowing the younger to squeeze a bit of toothpaste out onto his toothbrush.

Felix hums, playfully frowning as best he can around the toothbrush.

Suddenly, they are interrupted by a loud yell from Changbin.

“I bought that food for both of us, Jeongin-ah! Get back here, you-,” his voice gets cut off and Minho and Felix both hear some more scuffling in the kitchen followed by the maknae’s loud laughing.

“But you owe me from last time, Binnie-hyung. You promised you would bring me food and then didn’t,” Jeongin replies, shouting as he seemingly runs away from the older in the kitchen.

Felix slowly turns to look at Minho and they both make eye contact, a look of understanding passing between them.

Then Felix is hurriedly spitting out his toothpaste and rinsing his mouth while Minho quickly dries his still dripping face from a couple of minutes ago when he washed it

Soon, the two are practically bowling each other over as they race towards the kitchen from the bathroom, laughing and shouting just as loudly as Changbin and Jeongin are from the dining room table. They quickly make their way into the dining area, matching grins on their faces with the knowledge that Changbin must’ve bought a really good snack for the two to be so adamantly fighting over the food.

Minho glances over at Felix and bursts out laughing again.

Felix tries to bring a finger to his lips in an attempt to get him to stop, but it proves useless as it only makes the two of them crack up even more.

The smiles stay on both of their faces as Minho yanks the younger’s arm and drags him closer, both of them smirking at one another when the smell from the food finally hits their noses.

Minho and Felix finally slip into beds at the end of the night, both with full stomachs and content smiles on their faces. (And somewhere, Seo Changbin is probably crying over the fact that all his food was stolen. Or maybe he’s plotting his revenge against a certain three members in his group. Either way, Felix chooses not to think about it as he drifts off to sleep.)

Chapter Text

Jisung’s gaze flickers up at the sound of the door being opened, looking up to find Changbin and Felix shuffling in together through the doorway. Felix is holding a small picnic basket in his arms and a bright smile adorns both of their faces. Jisung smirks lightly at the couple who are practically glowing from happiness and maybe a bit from being in the sun for most of the day. The two walk further in, so Jisung quickly focuses back on the documentary playing in front of him on the television.

“Hey, Sungie,” Feix greets upon finding the older (by a day) sitting sprawled out on the sofa while a monotone narrator voice talks about the life cycle of the polar bear from the TV.

Changbin looks up at Felix says the other’s name and says hello to Jisung as well before cocking his head and muttering, “Polar bears?” as he hears the narrator in the documentary saying something about a type of bear who eats seals.

“Hello,” Jisung sings back, smiling back at the couple as Changbin takes the basket away from Felix and heads past the couch and into the kitchen.

Felix smiles back at the older as he heads towards the kitchen to put the food they didn’t eat away in the fridge. He then walks to the couch and plops down next to Jisung, letting out a content sigh as he melts into the cushion behind him.

He opens his eyes as a light laugh rings out from next to him, turning his head to look at the other. Felix quirks an eyebrow at the smirk adorning his face.

“So…” Jisung drawls out. “How was your date with Changbin-hyung?”

“Jisung,” Felix says sharply, a rosy blush rising onto his cheeks as he glances behind him to make sure Changbin hasn’t heard from the kitchen.

Jisung’s eyes sparkle when Felix again meets his eyes.

“It wasn’t a date, okay?” Felix sighs.

“Yeah. Felix and Changbin-hyung just biked together to the park and had a romantic picnic together only as friends,” Jisung agrees in over-the-top mock seriousness.

“Sungie,” Felix whines out, shoving Jisung’s shoulder away from him.

The other laughs humorously while wrapping an arm around Felix as he tunes back into the documentary playing before them.

“It was wonderful though,” Felix whispers a little later, staring back at the television with Jisung, a sunny smile on his face.

It really had been a wonderful day in Felix’s opinion. It had been a while since he’d had the time to hang out with Changbin, especially one-on-one. Plus it had been the perfect day for riding bikes.

They had gone out around mid-afternoon when the sun was still high in the sky, riding their bikes together throughout the neighborhood. Then they had stopped at the park and set up a small picnic with sandwiches from a place Felix had been to with Jeongin last week and the brownies he had made just the other day. They sat and talked for hours as the sun smiled down on them from high above, laughing as they relaxed together and shared some of the snacks Minho had bought earlier in the week.

It had been quite a lone time since Felix had spent some time alone with the older so he was more than happy when Changbin had suggested a bike ride together. And it was nice to finally relax together after such a stressful week and talk with one another about anything from their struggles and worries to funny stories involving a clumsy IN or a sleep-deprived Chan.

“Wow, I didn’t know polar bears had webbed front paws,” Changbin exclaims, startling both Felix and Jisung as they wrench their gazes away from the TV to look back at the older who is now leaning against the back of the sofa on his elbows.

“You know, I thought Hyunjin’s SKZOO character was a polar bear at first,” he continues, looking down at one of his hands as he stretches out his fingers then presses them all back together as if imagining his hands were webbed just like the polar bears.

“Hyung, you thought-,” Jisung interrupts himself with the loud laugh that escapes his lips in disbelief. “…You thought he was a polar bear.”

Felix giggles along with Jisung, a hand moving to cover his mouth as he laughs.

“Hyung, do you think Jinnie looks like a polar bear?” he finally manages to get out.

“Yah! I said at first.”

“So rude,” he mutters huffily under his breath when Jisung starts laughing again.

When their laughter dies down, Felix glances back at the screen and is greeted with the camera focusing in on one of the baby polar bears.

“Aw! Look!” he cheers brightly at the adorable sight.

Jisung smiles and watches the screen as well before looking back at Changbin at his spot behind the couch.

“Are you going to watch with us, Changbin-hyung?” he questions, looking over his shoulder at the older.

Felix turns a bit as well, making eye contact with the other as he pats the spot in between him and Jisung.

“Come sit, hyung.”

“No, no, I’m okay,” he refuses, shaking his head.

Jisung shrugs but goes back to watching as Changbin leans further over the back of the couch and rests his hands on his shoulders. The younger turns curiously back to him but before he can get a word out, Changbin is kissing him sweetly on the cheek.

Jisung gawks back at him as Changbin continues, “I’m going to go shower actually. But if you find a polar bear that looks like Hyunjinnie then let me know.”

Felix laughs lightly at that before feeling his chin being turned towards the oldest, who warmly kisses his cheek as well.

“Oh, also,” Changbin suddenly remembers, pausing on his way towards the bathroom.

“Chan-hyung wants us in the studio later, so we can go after I’ve finished showering,” he addresses Jisung.

“Yeah, of course, hyung,” Jisung easily agrees, smiling back at the older as Changbin retreats down the hallway towards the bathroom.

“Well…that was new,” Jisung remarks after the moment of silence following Changbin’s absence after kissing the two of them on the cheek, causing Felix to break into laughter once again.
____________________________________________________________________________

It’s only a few hours into their time at the company when Jisung decides that he’s far too thirsty to continue working and rushes out of the door, shouting behind him that he’s off to go scout out a water fountain in the building.

“I’m ninety percent sure Jisungie just went the wrong way,” states Changbin a minute after seeing the boy turn left instead of right, which was the direction where the nearest water fountain was located.

Chan hums, looking up at the closed door of the studio.

“He’ll figure it out…eventually.”

Changbin silently agrees, nodding his head along with Chan before pointing out a lyric they had just written that had one too many syllables to flow nicely in the song.

“I heard about…I heard about your date with Felix. You guys have fun?” Chan asks, shooting Changbin a fond smile as he looks up from his notebook.

Changbin can instantly feel the idiotic grin that stretches across his face and mentally slaps himself for not being able to hold off the smile.

“Oh, that good, huh?” Chan teases.

Changbin wishes he could tell Chan to stop but he couldn’t say that what Chan had said was a lie. ‘The date had been good…despite it probably being nothing but platonic to Felix,’ he thinks.

“Hm, Changbinnie?” the oldest cutely teases again, reaching a hand out to pinch Changbin’s cheek.

The younger lets out a sigh and shakes his head affectionately. He gives Chan an unamused look when he looks over and has to pretend his heart doesn’t feel like it’s skipped a beat at how Chan’s dimples are now on full display as lips turn upwards into a smile.

“Isn’t Lixie also dating Minho-hyung, Jisung, and Seungminnie?” Changbin says, crossing out a word and writing another above it that will fit in better with the verse.

“And Hyunjin too,” Chan agrees. “Hyunjin too and me as well.”

Changbin’s eyes widen not in surprise but in amusement as he turns to look at the older with a small smirk on his features. Chan laughs at his expression and swats the younger away.

“Felix was right. At this point we’re all going to end up dating each other,” Changbin jokes, both of them laughing softly together and recalling the younger’s words when they had come out to each other all those months ago.

Their laughter fades and dies down a little as Changbin hums the chorus, tapping his pen quietly to keep time.

Chan lets out an audible breath before stating quietly, “Wouldn’t mind that.”

Changbin looks up at the sound of the older’s voice and it only takes a few seconds for his words to register in his head, though Changbin is far from surprised.

Their leader has always been super affectionate to them all, stating multiple times how Stray Kids had saved him and how their family wouldn’t be complete with all eight of the members.

And knowing how caring and loving the oldest is to all of them, it isn’t hard to believe that he thinks of them as more than just friends.

In fact, Changbin had had his suspicions long before the older had even come out to the rest of them. However, he never wanted to assume anything or mistake Chan’s love and affection for being romantic when it might have just been because of how close their friendship was with one another.

For him on the other hand, Changbin had only just realized that he might be romantically interested in the other members. He hadn’t thought much about it but he knew realizing you were bisexual because of how hot your friends are wasn’t very bro-like. Of course, he had thought all of them were objectively good looking before realizing he may be into men, but now that he had experienced his “gay awakening” as Felix insisted on calling it, he was also starting to realize that he had been quite oblivious to the crushes he had on his fellow friends and members.

The humming under his breath stops as he leans in closer to the older, resting a hand on his thigh.

Chan turns his head to look back at the other and Changbin is thrilled to see the slight pink dusting the other’s cheeks as he leans in closer.

Changbin is the one to close the distance in between them, pressing his lips eagerly against Chan’s as the older wraps his arms around
him in a loose embrace.

“Yeah,” Chan says breathlessly as they pull back to look at each other in the eye. “Wouldn’t mind at all.

Changbin hums back as Chan’s fingers lightly tap against the back of his neck.

It is not long after their kiss that Jisung returns, making Chan jump and hastily remove the hand from around Changbin’s shoulders and the other one wrapped around his midsection as the youngest immediately jumps into the tale of his valiant escapade to find the water fountain.

Nevertheless, Changbin keeps his hand where it is. And if Jisung sees the hand on Chan’s thigh and the blush high up on Changbin’s cheeks and smiles delightedly at the two of them before they get back to work, no one mentions it.
____________________________________________________________________________

“What?” Jeongin calls out from his bed.

“What? Why are you here?” he repeats, scooting up on the pillows a bit more as he observes the figure standing in the doorway.

Then Seungmin is tilting his head down and a wide smile stretches across his features, making Jeongin screech as the other enters the room further.

“Go away, Seungmin-hyung,” he laughs out, cowering away from the other as he walks closer to the bed.

Seungmin giggles loudly, but the maknae’s words don’t make him falter one bit as he continues his ascent towards Jeongin.

“Hyung, stop looking at me like that,” orders Jeongin, waving his pointer finger at the other boy though it does little to stop him.

Seungmin’s mission is to bother Jeongin and the older could tell that he is already succeeding.

The two of them had a very playful relationship filled with lots of teasing, which also meant Jeongin was Seungmin’s favorite to annoy as he was the only member younger than him.

This particular occurrence where Seungmin would seek out the youngest to bother before bed happened more often than Jeongin would’ve liked. However, he also knew that hidden behind all the mocking and teasing, the older really just wanted to see Jeongin once more before he slept.

Seungmin had always been that way. Although, it became a lot less subtle when they all got to know each other more. He simply wanted to see everyone one last time before turning in for the night. And so Seungmin would make a point to come visit all of the members present at the dorms before going to his room and getting ready for bed.

After realizing this, the others all tried to do their best to be home at a reasonable time of night so Seungmin could come say goodnight and peacefully head to bed afterward.

No one knew why exactly their friend acted this way, but none of them ever complained about it and if anything it was a welcome excuse to try and get Chan and sometimes a few of the others to come home earlier from the company and get some sleep.

So in a way, Jeongin likes when Seungmin and he playfully tease one another or when the older comes in to bother him before he goes to bed. But on the other hand, he completely despises it. ‘It’s more of a love-hate relationship with hyung’s random attacks throughout the day,’ he reasons.

“Get out, Seungminnie-hyung!” Jeongin loudly yells when the other finally reaches him, laughs bubbling up from his throat as he puts a hand on Seungmin’s chest to keep him away.

“No,” Seungmin teases back, laughing along with the younger as he reaches his hands out to attack him.

“Ah!” Jeongin screeches, laughter only increasing as Seungmin starts tickling his sides.

“G- Go away,” he continues, hiccuping the words out in between his relentless laughter.

He finally manages to escape Seungmin’s grasp by rolling to the other side of the bed, but the other only follows, clambering onto the bed at a rapid speed to continue his attack.

The evil smile remains on Seungmin’s face as his arm travels up to Jeongin’s neck to continue tickling him. Only, the younger anticipayes his next attack and quickly grabs his hand on its way up and pushes Seungmin to the side.

The older smiles down at him as Jeongin catches his breath, reaching an arm behind Seungmin, who is perched on the bed to the side of him, to grab his phone and check his notifications.

Instead of continuing to tickle the younger, Seungmin has now resorted to lightly swatting at Jeongin’s stomach, trying to get his attention.

“Stop,” Jeongin says distractedly, causing the older to frown and sit up more on the bed.

Seungmin then lets himself fall sideways onto the younger’s body before stopping to gasp in pain when Jeongin’s knee reflexively hits his face and smashes into his left eye. He immediately returns to an upright position, groaning as he clutches his eye.

“IN-ah, you hit me,” he accuses, keeping a hand over his left eye as he turns to look back at the younger.

Jeongin laughs but is quick to sit up, concern evident in his eyes as he rests a hand on Seungmin’s shoulder and scoots in closer to his hyung.

“Are you faking, Seungmin-hyungie?”

“No!” Seungmin whines back, pressing the heel of his hand harder into his eye.

“Ah, sorry, hyung. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Jeongin apologizes, giggling lightly.

Seungmin recklessly paws at Jeongin with hands clenched into fists before laughing along with the other.

“That was on purpose, Jeonginnie,” he jokingly accuses, curling the hand not clutching his eye into a fist, and pretending he’s punching the younger on the chest without actually touching him.

“No, it wasn’t,” Jeongin insists, chuckling as he pushes Seungmin’s hand away from his body.

“Ow,” Seungmin whimpers out in pain after a few seconds, uncovering his eye to squint at Jeongin.

“IN-ah hit my eye on pur-,” Seungmin gets cut off by Jeongin saying, “No, no, no,” and reaching a hand up to cover the his mouth to prevent him from talking.

Seungmin removes his hand and tries again.

“…Hit my eye on purpo-.”

He gets cut off once again, only this time it’s by Jeongin’s lips.

The kiss is short and more of just a quick peck than anything else, but the only thing Seungmin can think about is the fact that Jeongin straight up kissed him to shut him up.

“Huh?” Seungmin mutters eloquently when Jeongin pulls back and drops the hand he had on his shoulder, his brain still trying to process what just happened.

“Um- sor- sorry,” the other finally manages out.

He leans back down on the mattress and quickly covers his eyes with a hand before continuing.

“I thought Changbin-hyung said you wanted to date us all,” he takes a moment to pause and breathe before glancing at Seungmin and then to the side as he continues.

“At first I was like, ‘Ew, gross!’ but then I thought about it and I- uh-,” he trails off. “I don’t know.”

Jeongin quickly returns to his phone, scrolling through Instagram to view the latest post on their account which happens to be a picture of Seungmin. He lets out a sigh and tosses his phone to the side with a huff.

“Agh!” Seungmin cries out as Jeongin’s phone collides on top of his hand.

“Shit! Was that your hand, hyung?”

“Yes, IN-ah. It was my hand,” Seungmin grits out between clenched teeth, his hand now clutched to his chest.

“What happened to liking me, dummy? Why are you trying to hurt me now?” he moans out.

“I’m sorry!” Jeongin cries back, using his hands to push himself back up to rub up and down Seungmin’s back in apology.

The older groans back in reply before rolling over the top of Jeongin and off of the bed.

“Hyung!” the youngest cries out in surprise as Seungmin’s whole body weight gets momentarily pressed down on him.

“I’m going to go read,” Seungmin replies once he’s situated on his feet.

The maknae opens his mouth to acknowledge Seungmin’s words but is interrupted when the older leans forward to kiss Jeongin on the forehead. And with that, he heads out of the room and back to his own, leaving the youngest to blush bright red and stay frozen in his bed as he processes the other’s actions. Meanwhile, Seungmin slips under the covers of bed with a sigh of content and a similar blush that mirrors the one on Jeongin’s cheeks, considering his mission to bother the youngest to be a complete success.

Chapter Text

“You should talk to Seungminnie,” Minho grunts out, hoisting the grocery bags up onto the counter.

Changbin looks at him briefly before sighing. He connects his phone to the charger in the kitchen and sets it down. He then moves over to Minho’s side and starts digging through the groceries, carefully taking out the egg carton and opening the fridge to set it on the top shelf while Minho moves behind him to add butter to the shelf on the side of the door.

“I thought we agreed to put the butter in the second fridge, hyung,” Changbin mutters, gesturing over to the other fridge right next to them.

Minho doesn’t look up, walking back over to the bag to take out the pineapple juice Chan always insists they buy since it “improves digestive health” or whatever the oldest had insisted. He decidedly ignores Changbin’s words, opting instead to pull out the rest of the drinks and haul them over to the third and smallest fridge to put away.

“We’ve all seen you staring at him lately, Bin,” Minho continues as if Changbin hadn’t spoken in the first place.

Changbin lets out a groan at the older’s words, traveling back over to the other bags to pull out more food items that need to be kept cold.

“C’mon,” Minho urges, blowing air on Changbin’s neck as he settles in behind him. “We need you guys together to proceed with our evil plan.”

“Evil plan?” Changbin exclaims, turning around to face Minho with his arms crossed against his chest. “I do not want to be a part of whatever evil thing you and whoever else is planning, Minho-hyung, you evil bunny.”

“Changbin-ah,” Minho presses, leaning in closer to the younger until their faces are lined up a few inches apart from each other and puckering his lips.

Changbin quickly turns his face away and walks off with the chocolate chips Minho bought in bulk for Felix’s next baking spree, leaving a momentary sour look on Minho’s face.

“Hyung, where do these go again?” Changbin calls out, waving the chocolate chips in the air as he scans the kitchen in an attempt to remember where they were usually placed.

“You could probably just ask him to make out and he’d agree,” Minho reasons, completely ignoring Changbin once more.

The younger finally stops and thinks about what Minho’s asking him to do. It’s not like he doesn’t want to tell Seungmin how he feels, especially since he’s pretty sure the younger likes him too. However, Changbin’s also not about to simply waltz into his room and ask him to “make out” as Minho suggested. ‘Most of Minho-hyung’s suggestions are usually bad anyways’, he reasons.

“Um,” Changbin hums, spinning around to toss the bag of chocolate chips to Minho, who reaches out to catch the bag and unsurprisingly misses by a mile.

‘For someone so good at archery, his hand-to-eye coordination sucks,” the younger briefly thinks before his thoughts are interrupted by the older boy once more.

“C’mon, you big softie.”

Changbin lightly smiles at that and Minho inwardly smirks at his successful persuasion skills. Then the boy quickly heads off, likely in search of a certain puppy-like boy by the name of Kim Seungmin.

“But only if you talk to Jeongin-ah, hyung,” a voice calls back towards the kitchen, making Minho’s head snap up as he spies Changbin yelling at him from the middle of the living room.

“I heard Seungmin and Lixie already confessed,” he continues, the side of his mouth quirking up when Minho’s eyes widen, unaware of the recent developments in the group.

Then Changbin is turning on his heel and continuing on his way down the hall, softly singing Hyunjin’s part in a song that they had recorded the other day as a demo for their next album.
____________________________________________________________________________

The rumors Changbin had told Minho about some of the others confessing their feelings for the maknae were 100% true. How did the boy know of this information? Minho did not know. Honestly, no one really knew how and where Changbin got this information from, but somehow the boy just knew.

In fact, it had only been a few days after Jeongin told Seungmin he liked him that a boy by the name of Hwang Hyunjin had confessed next.

Seungmin had been even more bothersome to Jeongin the day afterward and Hyunjin had joked about how the youngest had been rejecting Seungmin’s love more than usual. To Hyunjin’s surprise, Seungmin had smirked back at him and had accidentally let it slip later that day that the maknae may have returned his affections.

Then, it was only a matter of time before Hyunjin was marching his way into Jeongin and Jisung’s room, kicking out a bewildered Jisung along the way, to confess his feelings for the youngest.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Hello,” Hyunjin practically squeaks out after shoving Jisung out of the room so he could talk to Jeongin alone.

Jeongin narrows his eyes but hesitantly greets the older back. He had just gotten out of the shower after a long day of schedules and was simply relaxing for a bit before he planned to get back up and spend the rest of the day doing something more productive like playing video games or convincing one of his hyung’s to buy him dinner.

His thoughts are immediately interrupted as the weight of another person drops onto the bed beside him. Hyunjin quickly pushes up on the bed so he is eye-level with the younger before wrapping his arms around Jeongin. The other boy tries to twist out of his grasp before ultimately giving up and lying limp when the other’s arms only tighten around him.

Hyunjin giggles quietly with a blinding smile sent in Jeongin’s direction before he reaches up with both hands to pet the younger’s hair. After, he sighs and flops back against the pillows.

Jeongin turns to look at himand tilts his head slightly in confusion as he takes in Hyunjin staring up at the ceiling with an unreadable look on his face.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Hyunjin finally asks, not bothering to look back at Jeongin and instead bending his head back further as he keeps his gaze upwards.

“Okay,” Jeongin easily agrees, sensing the nervousness radiating off of Hyunjin despite the older’s neutral expression.

Hyunjin takes a deep breath, his hands fiddling with the bottom of his t-shirt as he tries to find the courage to express his feelings. He can feel his eyes prickling as he continues staring upwards but he can’t bring himself to meet Jeongin’s expectant gaze.

“I know you probably don’t…” he trails off before taking a deep breath and continuing.

“I really uh- like you, Innie. And I- I know that you probably already knew that,” Hyunjin laughs out nervously. “I mean I think I’ve been in lo- l- liked you since trainee days, you know?”

“Hyung-“ Jeongin starts before getting cut off by Hyunjin suddenly pushing himself up from the bed and rolling over until he’s standing up on the ground once more.

He looks at Jeongin this time before making a strangled sound of embarrassment and putting his hands up to cover his burning face from Jeongin.

The younger is quick to pull himself up on the bed as well and move over closer to him.

Hyunjin anxiously swallows before running a hand through his hair, making the other’s eyes flicker up at the movement.

“How should I say this?” Hyunjin asks himself.

“…It’s okay if you don’t like me back, IN-ah, because I value our friendship very much and I would never want to force you…” he continues, gesturing vaguely with his hands as he keeps talking.

Jeongin drowns out the rest of Hyunjin’s words, watching as the boy yet again brushes his hair back and sweeps it away from his face. It’s a habit that’s annoyingly endearing and yet really fucking handsome, only Jeongin would never admit that.

He finally has enough of Hyunjin’s emotional rambling about how great he is and how much their friendship means to the older, so Jeongin quickly stands up and starts pushing Hyunjin back towards the door.

“Wait, IN-ah,” Hyunjin says in panicked confusion as grabs onto Jeongin’s arms to stop himself from being shoved straight out of the door.

The youngest sighs, barely containing a small chuckle that wants to escape. Then he is pecking Hyunjin on the cheek and opening the door to expel the older from his bedroom and into the hallway without uttering another word.
____________________________________________________________________________

This event, in turn, sets off a whole series of other events when Hyunjin goes into Chan, Changbin, and Felix’s room to brag about how everyone is in love with him.

The only person actually in the room at the time is Felix as Chan is at the dentist and Changbin is apparently off on some secret “romantic outing with Seungmin”.

Now, Hyunjin wouldn’t say he was super overdramatic with the recounting of how his confession to Jeongin went, but he will admit that maybe he went a little over the top.
____________________________________________________________________________

So here Felix is, proceeding to frantically bake a whole batch of cookies to deliver to the maknae since he still can’t believe that both Seungmin and Hyunjin confessed to Jeongin before he did.

He had recently tried out a new cookie recipe that Chan had found and wanted him to try the other week. They had turned out pretty well even though Felix would’ve liked the cookies to be a little less sweet than they had turned out to be. Nevertheless, the oldest and everyone else in the dorms enjoyed the cookies.

However, no one liked them as much as Jeongin had. The youngest had eaten one cookie, then slowly finished chewing it before grabbing two more and shoving them both in his mouth at the same time and telling Felix (through a mouthful of food) that they were incredibly delicious.

The timer goes off with a ‘ding’ and Felix rushes over to the oven to peer inside. He opens the appliance and lets out a happy cheer when he sees that the cookies are done. He had adjusted the recipe slightly so he really hopes they will taste as good as they look.

Felix reaches out with both hands before he stops himself with wide eyes and rushes away to grab the oven mitts because the last thing he needs is to burn his fingertips to a crisp when he’s supposed to confess to his crush with these cookies. Then he slowly takes out the tray and sets it down on the counter.

Just then, the sound of the front door opening makes its way to Felix’s ears. And not a minute later is Chan tossing the free bag, filled with a toothbrush and some floss, that they give you at the dentist onto the counter.

He then proceeds to let out a loud groan, his head falling into his hands as he looks down at the cookies sitting on the counter, fresh from the oven.

“Why, Lix?” he whines out. “They put that shit on my teeth so I can’t eat for another hour.”

The younger only laughs at the older boy’s pain.

“They’re not for you anyways,” he teases, only adding to Chan’s agony and suffering and causing him to let out another groan.

Felix giggles as he carefully transfers the warm cookies into a container.

“I’ll leave a few out for you for when you can eat again though, hyung,” he goofily whispers to Chan.

“I owe you my life, Felix-ah,” Chan whispers back, causing them both to dissolve into laughter before Felix skips out of the room to go knock on Jeongin and Jisung’s door.

Jeongin opens the door and the unamused look on his face quickly turns into surprise as he sees the cookies in the older’s hands.

“I uh- made you the cookies you liked,” Felix offers the container, a warm smile on his face.

There’s a moment of silence before Jeongin speaks up, “…I don’t have to share any of these, right, hyung?”

Felix laughs loudly at that, shaking his head fondly before getting engulfed in a big hug from the maknae. The box of cookies is pressed weirdly between their bodies as they hug, but Felix wouldn’t change a thing.

And if the hug causes Felix to go around with a huge grin adorning his face for the rest of the day, then nobody but Jeongin has to know why.
____________________________________________________________________________

It’s later in the day when Jisung and Jeongin are sitting in the maknae’s bed together, watching Titanic, when Jisung confesses as well.

“I’d never let you go like that, Jeongin-ah!” Jisung blurts out. “Seriously? Could they not both have fit on that big ass door?”

“Rose had a life jacket!” he continues in disbelief. “If that had been you, Yang Jeongin, I would’ve never let you go. I would’ve made you lay on the door and then just found another piece of wood for me to sit on and we both would’ve survived.”

Jeongin turns to stare at him with a puzzled look until his eyebrows furrow and a look of disgust takes its place as he fully takes in the other’s words.

“Was this your way of confessing to me?” he speaks after a pause with clear underlying judgment in his tone.

Jisung purses his lips into a pout as he turns to look back at Jeongin.

“I’m just saying that I could’ve easily saved both of us.”

“Get out, hyung,” Jeongin orders after a second, pointing to the door as his face heats up from all the second-hand embarrassment he got from hearing Jisung’s sad attempt at confessing to him.

Sadly, the smile on the maknae’s lips betrays him and within seconds, Jisung is grinning like an idiot back at him.

“…IN-ah, does this mean I can wake you up with kisses every morning?”

“NO!”
____________________________________________________________________________

Later that same night, after Jisung and Jeongin have both decided that it is far too early to turn in for the night and are currently scrolling through Netflix in search of another movie to watch, Minho rushes in, out of breath.

Both of their heads snap up as the oldest comes barreling into the room like a tornado and pauses to catch his breath before locking eyes with Jeongin.

The maknae’s eyes comically widen as he stares right back with questioning eyes and confusion evident as he takes in the state his hyung is in.

“I um-,” Minho starts, pausing to breathe after his sprint from the kitchen to Jisung and Jeongin’s room.

“I like you…kind of. Maybe? Ew- I mean, no, sorry!” he rushes out in horror.

“I do…like you, I mean.”

The silence following is broken by none other than Han Jisung, who sputters before roaring with laughter.

Minho is quick to shut him up with a glare before he turns back to Jeongin and blinks repeatedly as if waiting for a response.

“Okay,” Jeongin stretches out the word, still trying to process whatever the fuck that was.

“Sorry,” Minho then breaths out. “Changbinnie said that almost everyone had already confessed to you and I didn’t want to be the last one to do it.”

“Oh-,” Jeongin says, still in a state of confusion.

“I like you too, I guess,” he says awkwardly.

Minho jerkily nods his head before Jisung quickly interrupts the awkward silence between them.

“Hyung, wanna watch a horror movie with us?”

“What? Jisung-hyung, no,” Jeongin instantly protests, the awkwardness of the situation immediately forgotten as he stares in dread at the scary movie pulled up on the laptop resting on his and Jisung’s thighs.

“I would love to,” Minho interrupts, smirking evilly at the maknae.

“Move over, IN-ah,” he sings out, squishing in between the two on the bed and pressing play on the movie as he moves the laptop onto his stomach so they can see more clearly,

“Minho-hyung?” Jeongin calls halfway through the movie, receiving a hum in response.

“You were definitely the last person to confess to me,” he states with a grin on his face and then loudly laughs when he hears Minho start cursing.
____________________________________________________________________________

The next morning, Jeongin carefully removes himself from the vice-grip Jisung has around his body, deducing that Minho must’ve escaped back to his room after they had all fallen asleep, before yawning and making his way into the kitchen.

Chan sits at the table, most likely drinking his third glass of pineapple juice of the day when Jeongin greets him.

“Hey,” he tiredly says back. “Min made breakfast. It’s on the stove.”

Jeongin hums back in response, muttering a small ‘thanks’ as he walks over to grab food. Chan walks up behind him, grabbing two plates down for both of them to plate their breakfast on.

They both move around the kitchen in a comfortable silence until Chan speaks up once more.

“You okay, IN-ah?” he questions softly, his kind eyes looking at the younger as he waits for a response.

And Jeongin knows instantly why the other is asking.
____________________________________________________________________________

A few days back, Chan had just arrived back at the dorms late at night and was surprised to find Jeongin sprawled out over the sofa with a random show playing on the TV in the background.

“Innie? What are you still doing up?” he asks in concern.

The younger was usually good at getting to sleep at a reasonable time unless Felix and he teamed together and decided to play video games until the later hours of the night. He guesses there must be something bothering the younger boy to have him staying up this late.

Chan is pulled back into reality when Jeongin shrugs, muttering under his breath, “I couldn’t sleep, hyung.”

Chan frown. even more at this statement, shuffling further into the dorms and moving Jeongin’s legs off one side of the couch so he can sit down.

“Something on your mind?”

“Yeah,” Jeongin replies hesitantly, still faced towards the television as the main lead starts crying over whatever drama had happened between her and the main love interest of the show.

Jeongin breath hitches before he starts talking, explaining what had happened a few hours before with Seungmin and his confusing feelings for not just him, but the rest of the group too.

It was clear that this has been weighing on the younger’s mind for quite some time, so Chan tries the best he can to listen and offer advice.

“From what….From what you’re telling me, it seems like you definitely have some type of feelings for the rest of the members,but that you’re still struggling to see them in a way that isn’t platonic,” he hesitantly begins, his voice going up at the end in more of a question rather than a statement.

Jeongin nods back in confirmation before stating, “I think I’ve realized that these thoughts are…more than the thoughts I have about people who I simply consider friends. But, we have been members together for a while, so it’s…strange to feel this way.”

Chan hums thoughtfully.

“Maybe since you’ve seen everybody as only friends for so long, it’s confusing you now that you are starting to see them as more than that. I also think…think that it could also be weird because of how you grew up,” he suggests, glancing over at the younger to make sure he isn’t accidentally being insensitive to his family or upbringing.

“Yeah…” Jeongin mutters quietly. “It was only recently that I figured out that I could like more than one gender too. I- I’ve never thought badly of people because of who they love, but I guess I never…thought that I could like someone who’s the same gender.”

“Do you think that you find liking the others confusing because it feels wrong for you to like men…and be interested in having…multiple partners?” Chan asks thoughtfully.

Jeongin pauses for a moment, taking in the question before speaking.

“No. No, I don’t think so. It’s…I’ve never found the other members…” he trails off.

“Attractive?” Chan supplies with a laugh and Jeongin chuckles with him.

“Yeah,” he confirms. “I’ve never found my hyungs attractive before.”

“Well, you don’t have to rush into things, Jeongin-ah. It’s okay to be unsure of your feelings or need more time to like process-“ the older boy quickly gets interrupted by Jeongin’s voice.

“I want to- to date you, hyung,” he states decidedly.

“Only if you want to date me too, of course. And the others too,” he rushes out as a blush crawls up his cheeks.

“I- Are you- Are you sure?” Chan stumbles out, worried that Jeongin might be making his decision too hastily and not wanting to pressure the younger if he’s not ready.

“Yes, Channie-hyung. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with anybody else. And I know you’re already dating half the group and- and I want to be a part of that.”

“Okay,” the older slowly replies in response. “I want to date you too, Innie. But please know that you can take as much time as you need to be ready for a relationship. I mean- I mean we still haven’t discussed things altogether yet and it’s- it’s perfectly okay if you ever- ever change your mind.”

“I know! I know, Chan-hyung!” Jeongin says, laughing playfully at the older.

Chan shoots him a look, which has the maknae laughing as he flips his position on the couch so that his head can rest comfortably on Chan’s thighs.

The older boy’s hands subconsciously move to Jeongin’s hair, massaging his scalp and lightly running his fingers through his hair before his hands still and their breaths even out.

“I really like you, hyung,” Jeongin whispers quietly after a moment of comfortable silence.

When Chan doesn’t respond, he quickly looks up to find the older’s head has tipped forward and he is now completely asleep. Jeongin scoffs before letting a small smile grace his features as he attempts to get up from the couch to go sleep in his own bed.

A hand quickly stops him from leaving completely and he turns to see Chan’s blurry eyes blinking up at him as he yanks him back down, snuggling close to the maknae before his eyes flutter shut once again.

Jeongin lets out a sigh but decides to let the older snuggle him to death as he knows just as well as anyone how little their leader has slept in the past week.

Although he does question if Chan's sleep was really worth the morning that follows as Jisung decides to tease him for the rest of the day and call him adorable after catching him waking up still cuddled to the leader’s chest, causing Jeongin to chase him down with a spatula until Changbin yells at them to sit down before someone gets hurt.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Yeah, I’m good, hyung,” Jeongin replies.

The older smiles back and ruffles his hair affectionately, earning a slap from the youngest before they head back to the table to start eating and wait for the day to begin.

Chapter Text

It’s an early Thursday afternoon when Stray Kids decide they need to take a much-needed trip to the grocery store.

It’s been about a week since Minho last bought groceries and food goes fast in the dorms, especially when you have Felix, who decides to make assorted baked goods throughout the week, and Minho, who has recently been trying out some new recipes. The rest of the group are always more than grateful for the delicious food provided for them, especially Chan, who is always the first to try Minho’s newest dish and also the first to rush home to eat some of Felix’s cookies. However, this also means that now they are pretty much out of food.

It goes without saying that Jisung is not invited to come along with the others. Although, he still tries to protest that this time will be different and that he wouldn’t impulsively buy a shit ton of stuff they don’t need.

All the members love Jisung dearly, but he is seldom allowed to go grocery shopping for the group as he would go to the store to get rice and maybe some strawberries for Seungmin, for example, and then come back with six bags of groceries filled to the brim with food they didn’t need.

However, usually it wasn’t just Jisung who got excluded from grocery runs.

Jeongin was also not allowed to go for the obvious reason being that the youngest was extremely clumsy. After an incident involving the maknae knocking down an entire food pyramid of spam at the store once, the youngest had been put on probation from ever setting foot in another grocery store without another member present.

Nevertheless, Jeongin had been allowed to come just this once because the boy wanted snacks and insisted that he needed to accompany them in order to see the different options before picking what he wanted. This had sparked an argument that ultimately ended in Changbin and Hyunjin siding with the maknae and bullying the others until they begrudgingly agreed that Jeongin could come.

After everything is settled, Felix is quick to graciously offer to stay back with Jisung. He doesn't want to leave the other alone at home when all the others are out together.

Jisung easily agrees, still muttering moodily about the unfairness of Jeongin being allowed to go and not him, which earns him a pity hug from Chan and downright hysterical laughter from Hyunjin and Minho.

The others soon leave the house after hastily grabbing the shopping bags and masks at the door, leaving Felix and a pouting Jisung by themselves at the dorms.

“C’mon, Sungie,” Felix says, dragging the older (by a day) away from the door and back into the living room.

Jisung begrudgingly follows along, plopping down onto the sofa while Felix skips into the kitchen to retrieve his phone before coming back. Felix then pulls up a music app on his phone before pressing play on a random playlist and setting his phone down on the couch before settling in next to Jisung.

A jazzy, upbeat song starts filling the room, and soon Frank Sinatra’s voice joins the rich melody.

In that moment, a warm, honey-like glow fills Felix’s chest as the sunlight streams in from the windows and makes Jisung’s eyes sparkle as he cuddles up next to him. The other smiles down at Felix, showing him that he isn’t really mad about the others going shopping without him, especially when he has Felix staying home with him right by his side.

Felix’s body molds itself to fit against Jisung, resting his head upon his shoulder and wrapping his arms gently around his torso.

Neither of them are too sure how much time passes as they take a chance to relax and simply breathe after an early morning of vocal and dance lessons. But soon, the beginning of The Way You Look Tonight starts playing on Felix’s phone beside them.

The younger is instantly jumping up, a sunny smile on his face as his eyes twinkle, hand held out for Jisung to take.

“Let’s dance,” he says excitedly, already pulling Jisung up before the other boy can even manage a response.

Jisung stumbles towards Felix before catching his footing. Then one of his arms is being guided around Felix’s waist while the other is being clutched in Felix’s own hand. Jisung feels his breath catch as he’s pulled even closer to the younger, who uses the opportunity to bring the hand not holding Jisung’s to the back of the other’s neck. The action causes them to be closer than Felix had anticipated, a light blush rising high on his cheeks as he notices the mirrored flush on Jisung’s face.

“You’re cute,” Felix giggles, adjusting their hands so they can comfortably clasp them together.

Jisung smiles at him, surprising the other when he leans closer to peck Felix on the nose before pulling away.

“I’m not very good at slow dancing, baby,” Jisung admits when Felix starts swaying them gently together, their weight shifting from right to left as they hold each other close.

“It’s okay, baby,” the other replies back, leading Jisung as he takes a step backward and then to the side, starting to move them along to the upbeat song playing in the background. “Just follow me, okay?”

Jisung nods, looking down to watch their feet as Felix steps them forward and then to the side, moving them in a small square pattern. Once he sees the pattern and trusts his feet to mirror Felix’s movements, he looks up to find the other mouthing the words to the song.

“Yes, you’re lovely, with your smile so warm and cheeks so soft,” he quietly sings, leaning in to leave a sweet kiss on Jisung’s cheek before pulling away.

Jisung blinks in shock before he’s laughing breathlessly as Felix’s deep voice merges with Frank Sinatra’s singing as the song continues.

The younger feels the warmth in his chest increase as he pulls Jisung closer.

This time it's Jisung who takes the lead, spinning Felix out with their connected hands and laughing when he spins in a circle a little too fast and crashes back into Jisung’s embrace.

His other hand slips down to Felix’s waist as the other boy drapes his arms over Jisung’s shoulders and pulls them closer in a hug. They sway back and forth, both laughing way too hard to realize the door has opened.

“‘Cause I love you,” Felix whispers along with the song, his head resting against Jisung’s shoulder as they slowly move together.

“We got them all to fall in love with us, huh?” Felix hums quietly into his ear, the song long forgotten as they simply sway back and forth in each other’s embrace.

“Fuck yeah we did,” Jisung whispers back, a soft chuckle escaping Felix’s lips at the other’s words.

The song comes to an end with Felix softly singing the last lyrics into Jisung’s ear as they slowly stop dancing,

All the while, the rest of the members have been shuffling quietly into the house. Chan had been the first one to open the door then quickly shush the others as he took in the sight of Felix and Jisung dancing in the living room together.

They all stand at the door, toeing their shoes off while they watch as the two others softly whisper to one another before they both start giggling and Felix tucks his head back into Jisung’s neck.

Finally, Hyunjin can’t hold himself back any longer.

“Ah! CUTE!” he shouts loudly, dropping the bag of groceries onto the floor with a plop.

The noisy shout has Felix and Jisung jumping away from each other with a start. Both of them look wide-eyed at where the sound had come from before a look of embarrassment takes its place on their faces upon realizing that the others had seen them slow dancing together. This only makes Hyunjin laugh even louder, clapping his hands together in delight. Luckily, The Way You Look Tonight had happened to be the last song on Felix’s playlist, so at least the music had long stopped by now.

“Hyunjin-ah, you ruined the moment,” Changbin complains, raising an arm to lightly punch his shoulder.

The younger boy doesn’t respond and instead chooses to rush over to Felix and Jisung and pull the latter into a hug.

“Cuties!” he borderline squeals into Jisung’s poor ear.

Jeongin shakes his head at the older boy, chucking his shoes off to the side as the rest of the members shuffle further into the house with arms full of groceries.

“So what are we-,” the makenae’s voice falters as he glances back up at Felix, Jisung, and Hyunjin, his mouth falling open in surprise at the scene before him.

Hyunjin, while still has his arms wrapped around Jisung, is leaning over the younger’s shoulder and has his lips connected to Felix’s.

Chan inhales sharply at the sight while Seungmin and Changbin both stare in shock.

As soon as their lips meet, Hyunjin is pulling back as if he’s been burned and slaps a hand over his mouth, letting out a sound akin to a squeak before turning to look at the rest of the members with eyes filled with horror.

“Sorry,” he stutters out quickly, pushing out of Jisung’s embrace.

“I’m sorry. I- I didn’t mean-,” his voice breaks off, his eyes growing a bit misty as he tries to untangle the thoughts running through his mind.

It’s not like Hyunjin isn’t supposed to kiss Felix. They are boyfriends after all. However, they have never discussed with the others about their relationship and Hyunjin honestly isn’t sure if all of them are comfortable with him kissing Felix.

Chan is the first to speak up, walking over to the three and pulling Hyunjin into a comforting hug as best he can with two bags of food hanging on each arm.

“You’re okay, Jinnie. It’s okay, don’t worry,” he smiles reassuringly.

Hyunjin tentatively nods when Chan breaks away, bringing his gaze up to look at the other members near the door.

Minho quickly schools his expression, smirking back at Hyunjin, who feels his cheeks turn a bit red before he quickly averts his gaze. Changbin is smiling back at him as well, making Hyunjin feel comforted.

He feels arms wrap around him then and realizes that it’s Felix who’s hugging him. Hyunjin relaxes into the touch, looking up just in time to catch Seungmin shooting him a wink and Jeongin smiling shyly with amusement showing clearly on his face.

“I think we should- I think we all definitely need to talk,” Chan states, rotating his body back around to smile at the other four boys.

“I agree. But let’s eat first, talk later,” Minho says decidedly.

Changbin nods rapidly in agreement.

“So…what are we making?” Jeongin asks, continuing his question from before.

Minho moves away from the door and carries the two bags in his arms through the living room before stopping right before it meets the kitchen to answer.

“Hyunjin-ah wanted sushi, so we’re making some.”

Hyunjin smiles widely at that, jumping up and down excitedly.

“We have stuff to make sushi?” Chan says questioningly, sliding along the floor in his socks to get to the kitchen first.

The others soon follow, starting to migrate into the kitchen with them.

Felix snatches the bag in Jeongin’s hand to bring into the kitchen as well.

“Yeah. While you and Seungminnie were arguing-”

Seungmin quickly interjects, insisting, “It was a debate”, before letting Minho continue.

“Arguing,” Minho presses, emphasizing the word before continuing his sentence. “…Over which brand of bread we should get, Binnie and I got the ingredients.”

“Wait!” Hyunjin blurts out, furrowing his eyebrows at Minho.

“You weren’t with Jeongin too?” he questions.

“No, we didn’t see Innie until we started checking out,” Changbin answers, shaking his head.

“Was he with Channie-hyung and Seungmin-ah then?” Hyunjin asks, helping Seungmin haul one of the bags up onto the counter.

“Nope. He was with you when I last saw him, Hyunjinnie,” Chan speaks, glancing back at the other boy.

Hyunjin looks even more lost.

“No, I- I was trying to find him ‘cause he ran off somewhere and then- eventually I gave up and ran into Seungminnie and Chan-hyung in the candy aisle,” he responds slowly, looking more and more baffled ever word that he speaks.

Felix gasps dramatically at that, using a hand in front of his mouth to hide his quiet giggling.

Jisung gasps too, screaming, “IN-ah, where were you?”

Hyunjin cackles at that, everyone turning to shoot the maknae a look.

“Yah! Where the hell were you?” Minho shouts, though he is significantly quieter than Jisung was.

Jeongin only giggles subtly before moving past them to take one of the bags from Minho’s hand.

“Let me help you with the food, hyung,” he says sweetly, not waiting for a response as he sets the bag down and starts pulling out the contents to put away, hearing everyone laugh loudly behind him.
____________________________________________________________________________

They’re in the middle of rolling the sushi when Jeongin asks if they can have smoothies.

Minho had set them up in a line so that they could each add the rice onto the seaweed and then add whatever they wanted inside before rolling them tightly using the bamboo placemats he fished out from one of the drawers.

Felix had even used a piece of the clear, plastic wrap to flip his so the rice was on the outside instead of the inside, which amazed the others for a while and had made them all want to try the same thing.

They had all worked together to cut up vegetables and seafood and make different sauces to go with their meal.

They had all been having a good time together, that is until Jeongin asked if they could have smoothies to go with dinner.

“No,” Seungmin immediately shoots down the idea.

“We can’t have smoothies with sushi,” Minho adds on, looking at Jeongin like he’s grown two heads.

“Why not?” the youngest frowns, narrowing his eyes at the look of disgust on Seungmin’s face.

“Yeah,” Felix drawls out. “I want to make some too.”

“We have fresh fruit,” he points out.

Seungmin hums, mulling the idea over in his head.

“We do have fresh fruit,” he admits, nodding his head.

“What- What the fuck?” Chan asks incredulously.

“No, let Jeongin-ah make smoothies with Felix, Chan-hyung and Minho-hyung,” Changbin protests before addressing the maknae directly.

“IN-ah, you must not let them decide what you can or can’t do. It is important to do what makes you happy and not what will make other people happy. Don’t let others decide for you, IN-ah! Live by your own principles!” he ends, shouting breathlessly at the youngest.

Felix smiles at this and walks over to massage Changbin’s back as he finishes shouting while Seungmin, Chan, and Jisung are laughing their asses off at Changbin’s “motivational speech”.
____________________________________________________________________________

Later when they have finished making the smoothies, they all sit down at the table with their sushi and glasses of strawberry and banana smoothie. It’s awkward for a few moments since everyone’s wondering if they are going to talk now or later until Seungmin clears his throat.

“Can we- Can we talk about Channie-hyung’s last VLive?” he says.

A smile lights up his face as the others (minus Chan) laugh loudly, all realizing what the other is referring to.

“Yeah,” Jisung hums in response. “The one where hyung was thirsting over Minho-hyung in a wig?”

Chan sputters for a moment before protesting.

“I WAS NOT THIRSTING-”

Chapter Text

“We should talk now,” Chan finally says once the dishes are all dried and put away.

He ushers everyone out into the living room with the promise that they would watch the movie Felix wanted to watch the next day.

The members had all been planning on watching a movie together on Thursday and Felix had been waiting all week to see it but he guesses that pushing it a day back wouldn’t hurt. Besides, it was definitely worth it, in Felix’s opinion, as that’s when the tradition of Friday movie nights started within the group. And ever since then, all of the members have made an effort to always be home on Friday’s to catch up with one another after busy weeks and to cuddle and relax as they watch a movie.

Back in the present, everyone settles onto the couch, making themselves comfortable for the talk.

Jeongin settles onto the couch before quickly changing his mind and moving to the chair next to the sofa when Changbin attempts to cuddle him. The older boy pouts moodily before shifting to his other side to hang onto Seungmin, who reluctantly lets him do as he pleases.

Chan sits down next to Seungmin as both Felix and Jisung seat themselves on his other side.

Hyunjin decides to simply sit on the ground in front of them so they can easily talk together and Minho does the same, scooting closer and then a bit to the side so Jeongin has room to move his chair up closer to the couch.

Once they’re all settled in, Chan decides to start off the discussion as usual.

He takes a deep breath before gulping nervously.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you all about this for a while now, so I’m glad we finally have the time. I uh- I think we should just all talk together and try to clear things up because communication is really important, especially in um- romantic relationships, so just-…yeah.”

The members are all quiet for a second before Jisung speaks.

“Felix and I made a plan to seduce you and at first it was more of a joke than anything but now we’ve gotten all of you guys to fall in love with us,” he rushes out, the words tumbling from his mouth before his brain can even catch up.

Felix’s face instantly turns red before he’s giggling like mad, a hand held in front of his face as he laughs.

“You- Wait, what?” Chan asks in disbelief, staring at a red-faced Jisung, who clearly was just as surprised at what he had admitted as Chan, Changbin, and Jeongin were.

“Is this the evil plan Minho-hyung was talking about?” Changbin suddenly shouts, rising to his feet before being pushed back down by Seungmin.

Jeongin rises to his feet after him, shaking a finger in Jisung’s direction as he huffs out a laugh.

“Sungie-hyung did not seduce me,” he laughs out incredulously.

“No, no, no, Innie. We aren’t gonna talk about that,” Jisung hurriedly replies, a blush rising onto his face.

“Moving on…Let’s- Let’s talk about our relationship, yeah?” Jisung changes the subject after he hears several protests from the others wanting to hear how Jisung’s confession went.

“I really like all of you,” Hyunjin confesses before anyone can get more information out of Jisung.

“You probably already knew that, but, yeah,” Hyunjin chuckles. “I don’t want to be away from you guys ever. And- I already told Seungminnie this, but- I wouldn’t be the person I am today without all of you.”

He finally looks up after he finishes, to Felix already crying and Chan looking back at him lovingly.

“I really, really like you guys too!” Felix says happily, sniffling as he gathers his thoughts.

“I think you guys probably knew that as well,” he laughs. “But, I just really feel comfortable with all of you- and you make me feel very happy. And you’re- you’re all really pretty too.”

Changbin chokes on a breath at the last comment.

“Me too?” he asks jokingly, knowing the members always enjoy teasing him about his looks, which he doesn’t mind at all as he enjoys the playful banter and because they all praise him just as much off camera.

“Hyung,” whines Felix. “You’re really hot- and- and pretty too.”

“Changbin-hyung’s hot,” Seungmin mumbles in agreement, causing Changbin’s jaw to drop, not expecting the sincere responses.

“Fuck, um- I like all of you too. I’m grateful we all got to debut together and I’m truly thankful that we have all gotten closer to one another…And I hope that all of you feel the same way.”

“I do!” exclaims Jeongin, a small smile on his face as he looks at Changbin.

“At first it was hard to accept…because you’re my stinky hyungs, but Channie-hyung made me- made me realize that I wouldn’t want to date anybody else,” he states confidently, ignoring the outcries from his hyung’s at his first comment.

Chan grins back at the maknae with a proud look on his face before clearing his throat.

“I’m pretty sure it goes without saying that I have feelings for all of you. I’ve liked you all since the beginning, I think it just- it just took me some time to realize it,” he chuckles.

“But, you all…you know- you all give me such great energy and happiness. And I think…honestly, all of you are my home. ‘Cuz family isn’t blood, it’s who you choose it to be. And I…chose you and I just- I’m so lucky to have you all,” the oldest says sincerely.

“I guess it’s- my turn,” Seungmin hesitates. “This is very new for me, but we’ve been friends for a while now and I’ve gotten to know all of you. So I think I can confidently say that I like you guys back. And that- I would like to try out dating if that’s what you want.”

“I wouldn’t mind trying to date all of you. I mean we’re together most of the time and um- I think it would be nice to be with people who understand our schedules and how busy we are.” Minho finally speaks up, even though he refuses to look up from where his eyes are looking down at the ground in front of him.

“It also certainly helps that we all live in the same place,” Chan nods then looks towards Jisung, who is the only one who hasn’t spoken yet.

“Oh, sorry!” Jisung apologizes.

“I mean…I was kinda the one who suggested the whole plan to seduce the friend group thing, you know, with Felix’s deep voice and my irresistible, charming personality,” he shrugs. “So, yeah…I definitely like you all- a lot.”

“Your irresistible- charming personality,” Minho repeats slowly, raising an eyebrow at Jisung. “Is that what you used to win Innie over?”

“Hyung, shut up!” Jisung yelps in horror, causing everyone to break down into laughter.
___________________________________________________________________________

“So…dating?”

“Mhm!” Chan hums back in response to Jeongin, unable to keep the lovesick smile from his face.

“And this means I can kiss you whenever I please…with your consent first?” Jisung says.

“I want kisses!” yells Felix before getting practically tackled by Jisung and pulled into a kiss.

“That’s so unfair. What if I wanted kisses too?” Changbin huffs before getting quickly shut up by Minho plopping himself down onto his lap and kissing him.

Hyunjin pouts at that, which Chan quickly notices and gestures him over. The younger eagerly flings himself across Chan and pecks his lips happily.

Jeongin looks back at Seungmin, the only person in the room who isn’t currently preoccupied.

The maknae shrugs then is pushing himself out of the chair and kissing both Seungmin and Chan on the cheek as he settles in between them and steals the remote to check if there’s a new episode of the show he’s watching on Netflix.
___________________________________________________________________________

“Can we hear about the SeungBin date now,” Felix excitedly requests.

To be honest, everyone had been wondering about the “secret date” the two had allegedly went on last week.

“Absolutely not,” Seungmin responds with a bright smile at the same time as Changbin exclaims, “We got kicked out of a library!”

“You did what?” Chan shouts back.

Changbin only chuckles at that and waits for the others to beg to hear what happened before telling the story.
____________________________________________________________________________

It had been only a week before their talk that Changbin had asked Seungmin out to the library on a date. The younger had immediately agreed and when they arrived, the two of them decided to walk until the very back of the library where all the comfiest chairs and benches were to settle down. It was also pretty well hidden from the rest of the building so they knew they wouldn’t be bothered if they took their masks off.

As soon as they found the comfiest nook in the library, off to the side of where all the bookshelves were, Seungmin had run off to go find the book he had been wanting to read for a while now. And soon, Changbin also got up to go grab a few picture books as well. The older boy still enjoyed reading such books despite not being a kid anymore, liking the simple plot and the cute drawings there were in every book.

Eventually, they both came back to their spot and settled next to each other on one of the cushioned benches, brushing shoulders as they read their books in a comfortable silence.

What Changbin hadn’t been anticipating was just how fast he would finish reading the pile of picture books and short chapter books he had gathered next to him. This caused him to get bored rather quickly.

“Seungminnie,” he whispers rather loudly.

The other boy hums distractedly, paying attention to the book resting on his lap instead of Changbin.

“Is this your younger brother?” he asks, shoving one of the picture books under Seungmin’s nose.

The younger briefly glances at the drawing of a puppy before he’s pushing the other’s hands away and turning to the next page of his book to continue reading.

Changbin groans softly at the lack of attention.

He slowly moves forward until his mouth is almost touching Seungmin’s ear before whispering again.

“Seungmin-ah, bark!”

“Ah!” Seungmin cries out, clutching his head as he flinches, not liking when people whisper in his ears.

“Seungminnie, bark!” Changbin repeats, smirking at the younger evilly.

“No,” the other whines back.

“Bark,” Changbin commands again after a beat of silence.

Seungmin finally sighs, carefully closing his book as it seems he won’t be getting any more reading done with the older bothering him like this.

“Changbin-hyung…oink,” he whispers after a moment, leaning in closer to the other to smile evilly back as he gives the older a taste of his own medicine.

Changbin imitates a howl in response that has Seungmin rolling his eyes and lightly slapping the other on the shoulder.

“Binnie-hyung, oink!” the younger boy requests again.

This time Changbin opens his mouth and makes a loud snorting sound.

Seungmin’s mouth opens in surprise as he starts laughing, his body leaning in towards Changbin’s as he covers his face with both hands, trying to contain his laughter. His fingers then slightly separate enough to see Changbin’s smug and amused expression, which only makes him laugh harder.

The older looks back at him with a fond expression before using this opportunity to snort again, only louder this time.

And then Seungmin is breaking down into gasping laughter, the laughs in between his hiccuping so loud that Changbin, too, starts chuckling.

It all goes downhill from there with Changbin snorting loudly to get Seungmin to laugh more, which in turn makes the older laugh even harder.

Before they know it, an extremely annoyed worker is walking quickly towards them, wheeling a cart full of books that need to be shelved in front of them.

“If you continue being this loud and disrupting the other people reading and trying to check out books, I’m sorry, but I will have to ask you to leave,” they say, seemingly fed up with their obnoxious laughter.

Next thing Seungmin knows, he is stumbling out of the library with a mortified-looking Changbin at his heel. The book he wanted to check out is long forgotten as he grabs Changbin’s hand and pulls him down the sidewalk and away from the library.

“I can’t believe-,” Seungmin shakes his head. “I- We got kicked out of a public library.”

Changbin faces him with an unreadable expression on his face before he bursts into laughter once more. Seungmin giggles back at him in disbelief before the older is tugging on their joined hands and skipping back to the coffee place they passed on the way there.
____________________________________________________________________________

“You got kicked out of the library,” Chan and Jisung say at the same time.

Only, Jisung’s voice is filled with awe and humor, whereas Chan's voice sounds mildly horrified.
____________________________________________________________________________

That night as they all settle in to sleep, Felix lets the warm, fuzzy feeling completely consume his being.

“I have seven boyfriends!” he squeals quietly to himself, hearing Chan chuckle from the other side of the room.

The discussion they had might’ve been a little nerve-wracking at first, but overall Felix considered it a success. And even though Felix had definitely cried along with Jisung at the heart-felt words everybody had spoken, they were tears of happiness and not tears of sadness.

Chan had also gotten a little teary-eyed, but Felix couldn’t blame him as everyone was pretty emotional. He had also been really shy and everyone had to agree that it was adorable to see their leader acting that way.

Even Minho and Seungmin were both pretty shy. And Jeongin’s face was bright red the entire time, a close rival to Minho’s ears. ‘Not that that stopped them from making fun of everybody,’ he thinks fondly.

Changbin and Hyunjin seemed like the only chill ones throughout their whole discussion. ‘…Just kidding,’ Felix quickly tells himself in his head. ‘Definitely not Jinnie.’

Honestly, Felix had never been happier. After all, it wasn’t every day you seduced the friends you’ve been in love with for years and ended up with successfully getting seven boyfriends.

Chapter Text

SUGGESTIONS !!

If anyone has any suggestions that they want to see in an upcoming chapter, PLEASE COMMENT AND LET ME KNOW!!!

You can suggest whole chapters that you want or ideas that you have or even just random things you’d like to see.

That being said, these are NOT REQUESTS!! I already have a whole storyline planned out and what mental health issues and issues in general each members has in the story. So if your suggestions doesn’t fit in with that, I will not be doing it (and i’m sorry for that!!)

REMINDER: I’m shit at explaining things but this fic is basically just a bunch of oneshots that all fit into the same storyline. So each chapter will be kind of structured like a oneshot, most likely focusing on only one (or two) members or one specific pairing in the poly love circle. Basically the same thing I’ve been doing in all the previous chapters haha.

THINGS YOU CAN ASK FOR:

You may suggest what mental health issues you want to see (I’ve mostly already picked them out but it doesn’t hurt to ask and I may be able to be like “Oh, I actually already have that planned so is there anything specifically you want to see involving that member dealing with that problem?”).

You may also suggest specific chapters you want to see like maybe you want to see some more Changlix fluff or maybe you want a Jisung centric chapter or maybe one that involves one of the members having intrusive thoughts, etc.

Or you may just suggest random things you would like to see like Seungmin and Jisung making pancakes and ending up flipping one and getting it stuck to the wall lmao!

EDIT: You may NOT ask for any of the members (other than Minho) to be Littles. I am only having Little Minho since I don’t want Littlespace to be the main focus of this fic! I hope you understand and once I am done with this fic, you may always comment and ask me to do a separate oneshots of one of the others age regressing. (You can of course comment now on the Stray Kids Oneshots request work I have in my other works, however I will likely only get to it when I’m done writing this whole thing.)

LAST THING but if you don’t mind commenting on the previous chapter or any of them actually just NOT THIS CHAPTER that would be great since i’m probably going to delete it afterwards!! Also sorry for not posting in a bit, school sucks but I’ll hopefully be able to get out a chapter soon (it’ll be rly fluffy don’t worry <3) And THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO COMMENT :D

Chapter Text

Stray Kids have been dating (officially) for about a week now and to say everybody has since been in a better mood would be an understatement. That said, nothing much has really changed. Even before getting together, the members were all extremely close. That’s what living in the same dorms and spending every waking hour with your dumbass friends does to you. And to say that Stray Kids weren’t always this touchy was a straight-up lie.

However, despite their lives carrying on like normal, there were still some things that did change. And there was one thing that by far was different from the way that the group had acted before and that was kissing.

Despite the members having varying levels of comfort with skinship and accepting skinship from each other, all of them loved kisses, even Jeongin who pretended to be disgusted every other time one of the others tried to kiss him.
___________________________________________________________________________

Unsurprisingly, it’s the maknae who wakes up earlier than Jisung. They had always had a system of who would wake up the earliest and Jeongin was third after Minho and Seungmin. This meant that it would be a while until his roommate would wake up along with the rest of the house.

The youngest rolls onto his side and blindly reaches out until his hand slaps the bedside table in between his and Jisung’s beds. After attempting to turn on the lamp twice, the light finally flickers on and illuminates the room in a soft glow.

Jeongin blinks his eyes a few times to get adjusted to the light before spying Jisung’s body facing towards him on the other bed with his left cheek squished against his pillow. The maknae quietly giggles at the sight, admiring the older as he sleeps soundly in his bed.

And that’s when Jeongin gets a great idea.

He pads quietly over to the other’s bed and carefully maneuvers himself until both of his thighs frame Jisung’s sides, being mindful not to place any weight down on him while he’s sleeping. He then leans forward and taps the cheek that isn’t being smashed against the pillow, leaning forward to whisper the older boy’s name in his ear. Only, the sudden movements of leaning forward makes Jeongin lose his balance and in an instance, his upper body is canting forward and his chest is colliding with Jisung’s face.

The older boy wakes up with a shout as Jeongin curses under his breath.

“Fuck. IN-ah?” Jisung question breathlessly after the younger boy has managed to push himself back up after falling on Jisung. “Why’d you do that?”

“Sorry, hyung,” the younger quickly apologizes, shifting to get back into his previous position. “I was just going to wake you up.”

Jisung rubs his face with a fist before sighing loudly.

“Waking me up by crushing me to death?” he whines, playfully glaring up at Jeongin with his hair a mess and face puffy from sleep.

“I’m sorry!” Jeongin protests.

“I was just trying to wake you up with a kiss,” he continues, frowning with a small pout on his face.

“Ah, IN-ah. Didn’t know you liked me that much,” Jisung mutters sleepily, reaching a hand up to place around Jeongin’s neck before pulling him down into a short hug.

“Jisung-hyung!” Jeongin cries in protest, scrambling to place his hands down on the bed at either side of Jisung’s face so he avoids crushing his boyfriend again.

The older boy ignores his outburst in favor of patting Jeongin’s head gently, who finally relents and rests his forehead on Jisung’s shoulder.

Jisung lets him go, looking up in confusion as he realizes the boy would be practically in his lap at this point had it not been for the way that Jeongin is holding up all of his weight on the arms planted on either side of Jisung’s body.

“Why aren’t you sitting down?” Jisung asks, patting his stomach.

“I didn’t want to crush you…again,” Jeongin admits.

“Innie, you won’t crush hyung. Come sit,” the older commands. “You’ll be my weighted blanket.”

Jeongin laughs, finally letting himself plop down on Jisung’s lap, his hands falling on the older boy’s chest.

“So Jeongin-ah…you were going to wake me up with a kiss?” Jisung teases, letting out a sigh as he feels the comforting weight of Jeongin settle on top of him.

“No,” Jeongin whines back before his tone turns more serious. “I didn’t know if you were joking about wanting to wake me up with a- a kiss or not. And I didn’t know if you would be okay with me doing the same to you, so I was going to wake you up and then um- ask.”

He cringes at his words, cursing Jisung in his head for ever bringing up wanting to kiss Jeongin to awaken him and for implanting this idea in his brain in the first place.

“Oh, Jeongin-ah,” Jisung scolds lightly. “I don’t mind at all. You have my permission to wake me up with a kiss whenever you want.”

Jisung smiles brightly up at the younger, bringing two fingers up to his mouth to press down before pulling them away with an exaggerated smack.

“Okay,” the other breathes out, shifting slightly on Jisung’s lap as his legs twitch uncomfortably from where they’re still encasing the sides of the older’s body.

Jisung grins brightly, always happy to make Jeongin even the tiniest bit flustered.

“Jeongin-ah,” he sings out. “Where’s my kiss?”

The maknae looks taken aback before staring back incredulously at Jisung.

“I was promised a kiss to wake me,” Jisung tells him, smiling as he gently places both hands around the back of the younger’s neck, his thumbs running lightly across Jeongin’s soft cheeks as his other fingers press against the back of his neck.

The younger boy can’t contain the wide smile that spreads across his face as he leans down once more, his dimples on full display.

Jeongin scoots a bit farther up on Jisung’s lap until he’s practically sitting on his stomach before he brings his face closer to the other boy’s. Jisung laughs softly before he’s using the hands positioned on the back of Jeongin’s neck to roll his head back and forth playfully.

The maknae grins even harder at that, blaming the way he’s acting on the poor sleep he had gotten last night before Jisung is yanking him down further.

Their lips meet in a sweet kiss before they break apart far too soon when Jisung starts giggling into the kiss.

“Sungie-hyung, why are you laughing?” Jeongin asks, slapping him on the chest lightly.

“Sorry, baby. I was just thinking about how you used to act so grossed out when I suggested waking you up with kisses in the morning and now- now it’s you who’s waking me up with kisses,” Jisung laughs out, craning his neck to peck Jeongin on the nose.

The maknae scrunches up his face before letting out an indignant huff.

This only makes Jisung chuckle once more, causing the younger to quickly roll off of him before attempting to push the older straight off the bed.

“IN-ah! You can’t just kick me out of my own bed!”

Jeongin lets out another tiny huff before attempting to push him off once more.

“Yes I can, hyungie. I’ve told you this many times before. What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is also mine.”

With a loud thump, Jisung hits the ground and falls down into the pile of blankets the both of them had shed during the night. The air conditioning had broken in their room and both of them were far too overheated to have that many blankets.

“INNIE, DON'T YOU DARE RUN AWAY! GET BACK HERE!”
___________________________________________________________________________

They’re only into the first song that they’re practicing when Hyunjin’s hat flies off his head and hits the ground a few feet away. He’s fully prepared to continue dancing, however, Minho had already stopped as soon as the beanie hit the ground.

“Again, Hyunjin-ah?” groans Minho.

This wasn’t the first time that his beanie had flown off during a dance, especially because Hyunjin likes to wear his hats like a garden gnome, according to Minho.

Hyunjin pouts sadly for a minute before going over to retrieve his hat.

Meanwhile, Felix, Jisung, and Changbin are laughing hysterically as they replay the image in their minds of Hyunjin’s hat launching off of his head and shooting over to the side.

“Here, Hyunjinnie,” Minho commands, rummaging through his bag before pulling out a large roll of tape from his practice bag.

“Hyung, you-,” Felix pants out in between laughs before breaking down into laughter once more.

Hyunjin looks up and meets Minho’s eyes in shock as it finally registers that not only had the older kept tape in his bag for when Hyunjin’s hat would inevitably fall off during dance practice but that he had also paid for the tape himself as there were images of cats littered all over the pink roll of duct tape.

“Those are-,” Felix tries again before giving up on continuing his sentence.

“Kittens,” Hyunjin finishes for Felix before pausing. “…You bought duct tape with- with kittens on it.”

Minho rolls his eyes at the younger.

“Here, Hyunjin-ah,” he demands once more, gesturing out in front of him.

Hyunjin quickly follows his command and bows his head down for Minho to put duct tape over his hat to make the beanie tighter around his head so it (in theory) would not fall off.

When Minho finally secures the tape in place, Hyunjin aggressively bops his head up and down, laughing when his hat actually stays on.

Minho shakes his head exasperatedly before reaching a thumb up to smooth the end of the tape down so it wouldn’t unravel. Then the older boy is leaning up to kiss Hyunjin’s forehead sweetly before turning back around to walk over and restart the song, leaving Hyunjin with bright, rosy cheeks.
___________________________________________________________________________

There’s only an hour left in practice when, despite the duct tape securing Hyunjin’s hat on his head, it goes flying off once more.

Minho stops immediately and glares at Hyunjin through the mirrors of the practice room.

“Let’s super glue it to your head this time,” he suggests, making Hyunjin’s eyes widen in horror before he goes to quickly run behind Seungmin for protection.

“Control your wife, Seungminnie,” he whines in Seungmin’s ear.

“Don’t make me duct tape your mouth shut, Hyunjin-ah,” Minho replies in a sickly sweet voice, turning on his heel to stare down the younger.

“Minho, we talked about thi-,” Chan starts before Minho’s attention is drawn towards a hand fitting into his own.

He turns to Felix as he hears Jisung’s loud complaints about Seungmin stealing his wife, claiming that now that the dating ban had been lifted they were planning to get married for real and Seungmin was foiling that plan.

Felix smiles back at him, causing the playful glare to fall from Minho’s face and instead be replaced by a loving smile. He has always had a soft spot for Felix even before he had romantic feelings for the boy.

The younger boy grins wider at Minho’s smile before letting out a small giggle when the older boy brings the back of Felix’s hand up to his mouth to kiss warmly.

They smile at each other for a second more before turning back to the others.

Jisung is attempting to pull Hyunjin away from Seungmin while everyone is laughing and yelling at one another except for Chan.

When the two of them look up, they find the oldest already smiling back at them, having caught their small moment together before the leader is yelling at everybody to calm down so they can get back to work.
___________________________________________________________________________

Once practice is over, Chan, Changbin, and Jisung have already decided to head over to the studio for a bit before coming home a bit before dinner because Jisung’s new shoes he had bought were supposed to be arriving sometime then.

The practice room is filled with quiet chatter and small conversations between the boyfriends as they all pick up their stuff and drink some water.

Jisung and Chan are both done before Changbin so they yell back at him to let him know that they’re going to head over to fill up their water first before coming back and going to the studio all together.

The rest of the members decide to do the same, half of them accompanying Chan and Jisung to get more water while the older half head in the opposite direction to go to the bathroom before going home.

Soon enough, it’s only Changbin and Minho left in the practice room. The latter of the two had plenty of water already so didn’t feel the need to go with the rest of them.

“You know, hyung,” Changbin starts as he shoves his sweaty shirt into his bag before pulling out a new one.

Minho hums, glancing at Changbin before his eyes zero in on his stomach, staring unashamedly at his boyfriend.

It’s not Minho’s fault all of his boyfriends are hot. ‘Respectfully, Changbin is ripped as fuck,’ Minho thinks to himself.

Meanwhile, the younger quickly tugs on a clean shirt, hating having to work in dirty clothing before continuing his conversation with Minho.

“You never did give me a kiss.”

“What?” Minho asks, confused at what the other is referring to.

“At the pool with Lix when we were making that song,” Changbin pouts at Minho before turning back to his back to place his water bottle inside before closing the zipper.

Minho makes a sound of recognition, remembering how he had leaned in to give Changbin a kiss on the cheek before backing out and poking him with his nose instead.

He laughs fondly at the memory.

“I have a reputation to uphold, Binnie,” Minho teases back.

Changbin scoffs, throwing his back with a whine.

“Gimme a kiss, hyung,” he yells loudly, whine evident in his tone.

“Nope,” Minho smiles back.

“Please, hyungie,” Changbin pouts cutely, tilting his head to the side to stare with puppy dog eyes at the older.

Minho visibly shows how revolted he is, cringing at the younger trying to act cute. Although, he can’t deny how endearing his boyfriend is.

He sighs loudly, his head tilting back and shoulders slumping as he rolls his eyes.

“Fine.” he finally relents before pausing, his eyes blinking rapidly as he tries to think. “…Are there cameras in here?”

Changbin shakes his head, reassuring the older boy’s hesitation.

“There aren’t any in this room.”

“Do I want to know how you know that?” Minho questions.

“Probably not,” Changbin replies honestly, grinning at the scoff that Minho lets out.

“Okay, then. What are you waiting for?” Minho beckons him over.

Changbin smiles and happily trots over to Minho, waiting expectantly for a kiss on the cheek.

Minho lets a tiny smile grace his face as he leans forward to plant a swift kiss on the boy’s cheek.

Only, as soon as Minho’s lips are a centimeter from Changbin’s face, the younger boy turns around quickly so instead of Minho kissing his cheek, he’s kissing Changbin right on the lips.

The younger pulls back pretty fast after that, arms held up in triumph.

“I stole a kiss!” he exclaims, laughing evilly as he grabs his bag and rushes out of the room before Minho can say anything.
___________________________________________________________________________

It’s mostly silent in the car as the two of them drive back to the dorms. Chan had insisted on staying behind for “just an hour more” to finish up some stuff before joining them back at home (hopefully) in time for dinner.

Jisung and Changbin sit next to one another in comfortable silence. Jisung is on his phone while Changbin is tiredly staring out of the window.

The older lets his head fall on Jisung’s shoulder with a sigh, making the younger look up from his phone for a second.

Soon, Changbin is just letting his whole body lean against Jisung, his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder, who angles his body more to give Changbin more room to lean back against him.

The sides of Jisung’s mouth turn up in a small smile and he places a hand on Changbin’s shoulder that’s resting against his chest and the other on his waist. His smile only brightens more as he sees Changbin’s eyes struggling to stay open as he relaxes back into Jisung’s body.

It was only the afternoon, but sometimes Changbin just got tired some days and nobody better than Jisung understood that.

After a while of staying in that position, Changbin’s phone rings, and he quickly picks up once he sees that it’s his mom.

His mother had simply wanted a second opinion on the new drapes she was buying, so the call didn’t take too long. Besides, Changbin was always happy to talk to his mom even if it was about simple things like buying new drapes or her complimenting what food Minho had made and posted on Instagram.

Changbin groans quietly after ending the call, wanting nothing more than to relax back at home.

Jisung looks up and chuckles as Changbin grins exhaustedly back at him.

“I kind of liked the sounds of the other drapes better,” Jisung remarks teasingly.

“I don’t trust your judgment,” Changbin responds instantly, leaning back against the car seat as he lets his eyes flutter shut. “Not after you told Minho-hyung his outfit looked good when he was wearing only the color brown.”

“It was a monochromatic color scheme!” Jisung protests.

“Whatever, Sungie,” Changbin replies, laughing afterward.

The older then rummages through his bag until he finds what he’s looking for, pulling out a notebook with a little, “Aha!”.

“Jisungie, look at this,” he states seriously, holding the notebook up in front of both of their faces.

“What is it, hyung?” Jisung inquires, peering at the page when he sees nothing but a blank paper without anything written.

Changbin smirks at him before bringing the notebook closer to shield their faces in case anyone were to glance in through the windows of the car.

Jisung, who hasn’t noticed the expression on Changbin’s face yet, furrows his eyebrows and looks again at the blank page of the notebook as if willing words to suddenly appear.

Then Changbin is nudging Jisung’s face with his own cheek to get him to turn towards him before connecting their lips in a firm but loving kiss.
___________________________________________________________________________

When the two arrive at home, Changbin all but collapses against Hyunjin, his arms wrapped around his neck as he clings onto him like a koala.

“H- Hyung,” Hyunjin stutters, stumbling backward under his weight and falling back onto the couch.

Changbin adjusts his position better to sit comfortably on Hyunjin’s lap, his arms wrapped around the younger’s shoulder as he presses their bodies tightly together.

“Hyung, you’re- you’re much heavier now. Too much muscle.” Hyunjin softly whines, a smile evident in his tone.

Changbin pulls back at that and presses his lips to Hyunjin’s. The younger boy melts into it until Changbin pulls back and peppers two kisses on both of his cheeks, his mouth firm and soft on Hyunjin’s skin.

When they pull back, Changbin is diving in again for a hug, scooting forward on his lap so he can get as close to his other boyfriend as possible. Hyunjin lets out a groan and pushes the other more towards his right side until he’s centered on his lap. Then he clings back just as tightly, letting his body go limp as he brings an arm over to pat Changbin’s back briefly before his head tilts back to hit the back of the couch with a content sigh.
___________________________________________________________________________

All throughout dinner, Jisung had refused to take off his new shoes. According to him, he wanted to “break them in” but everyone else knew that he just liked boasting about how much taller these shoes made him appear.

Jisung had bought these shoes a month before but they sadly were delayed in their delivery so he had contacted the company and they had apologized and given him a discount on the shoes.

He had never been happier in his life.

After dinner, Changbin, Jeongin, and Seungmin all decide to walk over to the company to fetch Chan, knowing that if they don’t intervene, the oldest would stay there the whole night. And now that they are all dating, Seungmin claims that they now have “special boyfriend privileges” that include things like being able to beg Chan to come home earlier.

Jisung optes not to come with the others as he doesn’t want his shoes to get dirty just yet and is simply relaxing in bed.

Instead of taking off his shoes in the house, the boy had made Felix run and go get him the giant fuzzy socks either he or Minho had given to him as a present. He then proceeded to pull the socks over the top of his shoes so he could wear them in the house.

He called himself an intellectual whereas Seungmin had called him “one of the dumbest people he’s ever known”, but either way what really mattered is that Jisung gets to keep on wearing his shoes.

“Hyunjin-ah,” Jisung calls with an arrogant smile stretching across his face when he sees the other standing at the door of his room.

“Did you know that I’m just as tall as you now?” he sings out, grinning like mad when Hyunjin walks over with a look of disgust and annoyance present on his face.

Jisung rises to his feet, using his hands to push himself off the bed before holding both of his arms out for Hyunjin. Hyunjin chuckles lightly but does the same, which causes the younger to smile brightly.

With the shoes on, he’s eye-level to Hyunjin and is most likely as tall or maybe even a bit taller than the older boy.

His arms slowly wrap around Hyunjin’s back as the other does the same, hugging each other close.

Jisung pulls back slightly before taking a hand and resting it on top of his own head before stretching it forward to measure his height compared to Hyunjin.

He is thrilled when he appears to be just the tiniest bit taller than Hyunjin and laughs goofily at the revelation.

“You’re the worst,” Hyunjin remarks, his eyes narrowing as it finally dawns on him that Jisung was trying to compare their heights to one another.

“Maybe, but I’m still taller,” Jisung grins.

“Only with the shoes,” seethes Hyunjin jokingly.

Jisung laughs goodnaturedly and pulls Hyunjin back into his arms for a kiss, cupping his boyfriend’s cheek to gently turn his face to the side to better slot their lips together.

They pull back after a little while and Hyunjin rests his forehead against Jisung’s own as they both giggle quietly to one another.

Suddenly the door is opening with a bang and Seungmin is entering the room.

As soon as the door creaks open, Jisung’s eyes widen comically and he is flipping back onto his bed before Seungmin can come fully into the room, pulling his socks over his shoes to cover them up more.

Seungmin gives him a look as Jisung stares back with his mouth open in horror and shock at realizing that he had made the situation way worse.

He had reassured the others before they left that he would eventually take off the shoes and even promised not to sleep in them. However, he had yet to take them off and his split-second decision of launching himself onto the bed with his shoes still on had only made the situation ten times worse.

Seungmin sighs, shaking his head at his boyfriend’s stupidity.

“I just wanted to let you know that we got Channie-hyung to come back home.”

Jisung awkwardly clears his throat after Seungmin’s words, making Hyunjin snicker.

“That’s um- That’s good. Thanks for letting us know, Seungmin-ah.”

Seungmin nods and without another word exists the room, sparing Jisung one last look that makes Hyunjin burst into laughter once more, clapping his hands together loudly.

Jisung glares at the other and then slings an arm around Hyunjin’s waist and yanks him down onto the bed with him.

Hyunjin’s arms flail out to the side as he plops down at Jisung’s side with a yelp. He would have fallen off the bed had it not been for the secure hand on his waist, keeping him from tilting off the edge.

The older shifts closer to Jisung on top of the comforter and smiles when he feels the younger boy’s arm tightening around him. Then he’s reaching out towards his younger boyfriend with his fingers spread and with lightning fast speed is grabbing onto Jisung’s sides to tickle him.

Jisung’s body is wracked with laughter as he attempts to push Hyunjin away. Finally, he manages to push him further down the bed before propping his head up on his hand as he catches his breath, panting at the sudden attack.

Hyunjin turns to look up at him with a bright smile, which makes Jisung roll his eyes jokingly. The younger then reaches down to pet Hyunjin’s hair, making the older instantly crawl back up so he and Jisung are face to face once more.

The younger boy giggles at the other’s antics before again wrapping his arms around him as they cuddle together in Jisung’s bed.

Neither of the two knows how long they lay in each other’s arms for until a shout from the living room startles them out of their sleepy daze.

“WE’RE PLAYING UNO THEN IT’S MOVIE NIGHT SO GET YOUR ASSES OUT OF YOUR ROOMS…PLEASE!” Felix loudly shouts, making Hyunjin bury his head into Jisung’s shoulder with a groan at the thought of having to get up from his comfortable position.

The other sympathetically pats his back before he’s rushing out of bed to take his shoes off before one of the others comes to get them and sees that he still has them on.

Yeah, so maybe some things really did change. But the new movie nights they would have every Friday were never something any of the members would ever complain about.

Chapter Text

Chan’s laugh rings throughot the dorms as he sits sprawled out on the couch with Seungmin next to him and Jeongin laying across the both of them.

They had about twenty minutes until they needed to leave for schedules and Chan was enjoying his morning with a nice cup of hot chocolate that Changbin had made him. (They had discovered that Changbin may lack basic cooking skills and couldn’t crack an egg by himself, but could make some pretty decent hot chocolate.)

Once he had finished his drink, he set the mug in the kitchen sink and filled the cup with water so it would be easier to wash later. Then he padded out to the living room and sat himself down on the sofa.

Seungmin soon comes in, muttering a quick greeting to Chan before tiredly curling up at the other end of the couch. The boy had been awake for a few hours already but he hadn't gotten a lot of sleep the night before so was reasonably tired in the morning.

Chan utters a quick reply before he lets himself melt back into the couch, his body quickly becoming one with the sofa as he hums appreciatively at the warmth and comfort.

A moment later, the oldest hears someone approaching and opens his eyes, unsure of when he even closed them in the first place and sees Jeongin bounding towards them on the sofa.

Before he can open his mouth to ask how the youngest slept, the maknae is plopping himself down onto the couch and right on top of both Seungmin and him.

“Ah, Innie!” Seungmin yelps in surprise, his tired eyes shooting daggers at the youngest.

Chan lets out a humorous laugh, watching as Jeongin, in defiance, stretches out even more on top of the both of them, his feet propped up on Seungmin’s thigh while his head settles on Chan’s lap.

“Good morning, hyungs,” Jeongin says, pretending to yawn and stretch his arms and feet out to the side to get a reaction out of the other two.

“Jeongin-ah,” Seungmin sighs, pushing at the makenae’s legs no avail.

Seungmin turns to look over at Chan and the oldest raises his eyebrows before pointedly glancing back down at Jeongin, who is blissfully unaware of the mental conversation his boyfriends are having about him.

Seungmin grins back and holds up his fingers, counting down.

“Three…two…one!” he mouths to the leader before they both reach their hands out and attack the boy sprawled across them with an endless amount of tickling.

Jeongin screams loudly and attempts to roll away before being held down by Chan so they can tickle him some more.

After squirming to get away, he finally manages to evade their oncoming attacks and roll off of their laps and onto the ground.

“Don’t come near me!” he yells, traitorous giggles spilling out from his mouth as he hurriedly pulls himself to his feet.

Jeongin sees Seungmin slightly shift on the couch and is immediately letting out a shriek and sprinting down the hall, throwing open the first door that he sees.

Chan leaves Seungmin with a small kiss on the forehead before running after Jeongin.

He catches him sitting on one of the beds and they make eye contact for a brief second before Chan is laughing and rushing over to push Jeongin down onto the mattress.

“Wait! H- Hyung, wait!” Jeongin cries out, his body curling in on itself to try and protect himself from Chan’s relentless tickling.

“Hm, IN-ah?” Chan hums, pausing for the time being to smile mischievously down at the maknae.

Jeongin sucks in a deep breath before he hesitantly brings a hand up to Chan’s chest, pushing him back a little.

The leader giggles and moves to start tickling him again but is stopped by the younger boy bringing their lips together in a kiss with Jeongin’s hand still preventing Chan from leaning in too close.

A muffled groan startles both of them out of their kiss, a disgruntled-looking Changbin peeking his head out from under the sheets to the side of them.

“You woke me up,” he grumbles, his voice deep from sleep as he pushes himself up more on the bed.

Chan grins before rolling over to his right and smothering Changbin in a hug, practically on top of the poor boy.

“No,” Changbin whines, struggling under Chan, still not having fully woken up.

“Jeongin-ah, help me!” he cries.

Jeongin laughs in response.

“You need to get up anyways, Changbin-hyung. We have to leave soon.”

Changbin groans again, finally giving into Chan’s bear hug and ceasing his struggle.

Jeongin laughs before yelping in shock when he shifts closer to Chan and Changbin only to feel another body beneath the blanket.

Felix quickly pops his head out from under the sheets, laughing at Jeongin’s surprised cry. He crawls on top of the comforter, his nightshirt shifting off one of his shoulders and hair all messed up from sleep.

“Hyung, you scared me,” Jeongin whines.

Felix turns to the maknae and smiles widely at him before turning on his side to curl into the Chan and Changbin pile, wrapping his arms around the two others and leaning over to plant kisses all over Changbin’s face.

“You kissing me does not make up for the fact that I am being crushed under Channie-hyung,” Changbin says moodily, glaring at Felix, who giggles quietly and this time presses his lips against Changbin’s to get him to shut up.

Chan smiles at the sight, finally relenting and rolling off Changbin to go around to the other side of the bed and settle in next to Jeongin.

“Hyung, if you tickle me one more ti- AH! Hey, no. We- Hyung, w- we have to go-! No, we really- STOP TICKLING ME!”
___________________________________________________________________________

“I think we should order food tonight, Sungie-hyung,” Jeongin says, both sides of his mouth raised into a boxy smile.

Jisung snorts and laughs loudly, making the younger quickly slap a hand over Jisung’s mouth in horror.

The two of them glance around the practice room and let out a sigh of relief when they see that Seungmin still has yet to figure out that they’ve stolen his wallet.

Jisung had come up with the idea to pull a prank on Seungmin on the car ride over to the company building. He had been reminiscing of the time he had successfully stolen most of the members' phones for a mission without them even noticing. And it had been a while since somebody in the group got pranked by somebody else.

It had been a long week as usual and Jisung had been looking for something to spice up the morning. What better way to do that than pulling a lighthearted prank on one of his boyfriends?

Jeongin was quick to agree to be Jisung’s partner in crime and aid in the stealing Seungmin’s wallet.

The maknae ran up to Seungmin as soon as their break started while Jisung got positioned behind Seungmin’s back.

The boy had looked a bit confused as the maknae willingly went up to hug him, but decided not to question it and accepted Jeongin’s affections.

Then, as soon as Seungmin was distracted by Jisung’s partner in crime, the older boy snuck behind the two and discreetly removed Seungmin’s wallet from his pocket.

It had almost been too easy. His wallet was conveniently placed in his back pocket instead of in his bag, likely having planned to go get some food from one of the vending machines in the company building.

But the look on Seungmim’s baffled face was definitely worth it.

“You know, Innie… I think I should transfer some money into my account. As a tip for my generous deed of buying all of our boyfriends’ dinner tonight…with Seungmin’s credit card,” Jisung replies, whispering the last part to the younger boy before bursting into giggles.

“I can’t believe hyung hasn’t realized yet,” Jeongin remarks, a playful smile on his face as he gazes over Jisung’s shoulder to see Seungmin with furled eyebrows as he pats the pockets of his pants for the eleventh time in the past five minutes.

Jisung laughs in agreement, turning his body to watch as the other boy starts frantically rummaging through his back, his expression filled with bewilderment as he can’t seem to find his wallet.

The other two burst into another fit of giggles, watching him fruitlessly try to look through the pockets of his bag to find it.

Meanwhile, Seungmin is not having the best time. He is genuinely worried about his wallet missing. He has all his money and cards in that wallet, along with a polaroid photo of all his boyfriends. It’s stupid but he loves that photo of all of them together and is not thrilled at the prospect of never seeing it again.

He can feel a panicked frustration start to creep up on him. He is so sure that he had left his wallet in his back pocket this morning

And if it is gone then that means that it must have fallen out of his pocket somewhere in the building. Or maybe at home. Or maybe he had been so tired this morning that he had only imagined himself putting it in his back pocket.

“Fuck,” he mutters breathlessly, still searching for the missing item.

Minho and Changbin overhear him and turn to look back at Seungmin in concern.

“What’s wrong, Minnie?” Minho asks, both of the older boys noticing the near frantic way Seungmin is scouring his practice bag.

“Can’t- Can’t find my wallet,” he manages to huff out, the back of his hand raising to forehead as if taking his temperature as he straightens up, letting himself catch his breath before heading out of the door to see if it had fallen out in the hallway outside.

On the other side of the room, the two culprits watch as Seungmin says something to Minho then heads straight out of the door, snickering to each other as they watch him go.

“Seungmin, what’s going on?” Chan calls when the boy bursts back in through the door a few seconds later.

“I can’t find my wallet, hyung,” he explains, his face hardened into a serious expression as he looks down at the floor.

The smiles on Jisung and Jeongin’s faces start to fade as they realize that Seungmin really doesn't have a clue that they have stolen his wallet.

They had both assumed that Seungmin must have some idea that they were the culprits. After all, Jisung’s laugh was not very quiet, and usually, the boy always knew when something was up. What they didn’t expect to see was Seungmin looking so genuinely upset at what they thought had been a playful, meaningless prank.

“Hyung,” Jeongin calls quickly, his face painted with worry as he looks over at Seungmin.

“Seung- Hyung, we- we have your wallet,” he admits nervously, holding out Seungmin’s wallet when he lifts his head to look at the youngest.

Seungmin’s mouth falls open and he breaths in a shaky breath, making his way over to where Jeongin and Jisung stand.

He reaches out for his wallet and quickly takes it, pocketing it before speaking.

“Did you- just find it?” he asks quietly, meeting Jeongin’s eyes.

“No,” the younger boy stutters out, his hand now fiddling anxiously with his right ear. “Jisungie-hyung and I were-…I’m sorry. It was a prank.”

Seungmin breathes in sharply and a moment of silence passes, the other members quietly observing the interaction from behind them.

On Jeongin’s other side, Jisung stands frozen, his body tensing up and jaw clenching as a wave of guilt washes over him.

“What?” Seungmin sighs, his face now turned to address the other boy. “No apology?”

He attempts a lighthearted tone but it comes out harsher than he expects.

Seungmin has been feeling exhausted all day after the lack of sleep he had gotten last night, and it was clear to everyone in the room how upset he was after the prank. However, Seungmin doesn’t want to make a big deal out of this and honestly just wants to get practice over with as soon as possible.

Jisung tenses at the other’s words, his expression unreadable as his mouth opens then snaps shut once again.

Seungmin looks back at him and scoffs indignantly, a tinge of disappointment clear on his face. Then he walks away and grabs his water out of his bag, taking a large gulp before gesturing at Chan for them to continue the practice.

Jisung is still frozen as he watches Seungmin turn around and walk away dejectedly, a flicker of hurt and annoyance in Seungmin’s eyes as he gives Jisung one last look before they are all gathering together once more to continue their practice.
___________________________________________________________________________

No one bothers Seungmin on the ride home. All of them can tell that he’s mad because of the way he immediately plugs in his earphones as soon as they hop in the car.

On the way home, Jisung silently looks over at the boy, biting his lip when he sees the younger’s hard stare as he looks out of the window.

Seungmin lets out a breath of air, watching as it fogs up the window. He reaches out with a hand and uses his sleeve to wipe the condensation away, peering back out and watching as the shops and people outside pass in a blur as they move past.
___________________________________________________________________________

When they arrive at the dorms, Seungmin walks ahead of everyone else, his tall stature (compared to most of his other boyfriends) coming in handy along with his determination to simply walk faster than the others.

He quickly unlocks the door, leaving it open as he storms through the house and makes his way to his room before the others can even make it in through the door.

Felix comes in a little later, having given him enough time to calm down and spend some time alone first.

The older boy tentatively shuffles into the room and closes the door, inching closer to Seungmin’s bed.

The other sits on top of his covers, scrolling through his phone and not making any indication that he’s seen Felix even come in the door.

Felix takes this as a green light to softly pad over and crawl on top of the bed.

Seugmin finally looks up and his face softens as he takes in the bright smile on Felix’s face. The room brightens up at his boyfriend’s happy smile and Seungmin is unable to keep his own lips from lifting upwards as his heart flutters in his chest.

His body relaxes as he lets a small smile grace his face, staring up at Felix as the other haphazardly shuffles closer to him.

“Hello, Felix,” Seungmin says softly, his voice teasing and light.

Felix smiles even brighter (if that’s even possible).

Then he lets out a giggle, his head lolling towards Seungmin as he laughs. Felix’s body melts into Seungmin’s side, one arm wrapped around his boyfriend’s arm and the other around Seungmin’s torso. His head falls to Seungmin’s shoulder as he squeezes his waist tightly in an embrace.

The other turns back to his phone as Felix clings to his side, pretending to be paying attention to the device when in actuality, he’s most definitely enjoying the cuddling.

Seungmin isn’t the type to stay mad for long. And after practice had ended, he was more exhausted than anything. So by the time that Felix had come in, Seungmin had long since calmed down and was simply enjoying some time to himself after the stressful day.

But with Felix’s warm body at his side and his head a comfortable weight on his shoulder, all the leftover negative emotions from the horrible day seem to dissipate. There is something about Felix’s comforting hugs and affection that make all of the worry and problems you're facing seem insignificant and far away for a time being. And although Seungmin isn’t regularly someone who seeks out affection, unless it involves annoying a Yang Jeongin, he has always had a soft spot for the other boy’s hugs.

And here, wrapped up in each other’s arms, Seungmin feels nothing but contentment.

They lay there for a while, Seungmin having long given up on trying to hide his smile from the other boy. Then Felix is lifting his head off the other’s shoulder with a tiny sigh.

The younger looks over as the comforting weight disappears, finding Felix looking at him with the softest expression on his face.

Felix clears his throat before speaking in a hushed whisper as if they’re sharing a secret, one they don’t want the rest of the world to know.

“Can I kiss you?”

Seungmin nods, his eyes drawn to the way his boyfriend's eyes crinkle when he lets a pleased smile stretch across his face.

The younger boy’s breath hitches when Felix leans in. And their lips are meeting in a blissful kiss.

It only lasts for a few seconds, but Seungmin melts into it as Felix’s hand thumbs at the side of his neck.

The other finally pulls away, laughing lightly as he grins down at Seungmin.

“Are you still mad?” he finally asks, having settled back against Seungmin’s side, his head tilted up to look at the other boy.

“No,” Seungmin replies honestly.

The older nods, scanning Seungmin’s expression before relaxing again when he can’t find any signs that the younger boy is lying.

“What about Jisungie?” Felix questions. “…Because he didn’t say sorry?”

“No. I think he was just surprised,” the younger replies, finally looking down to meet Felix’s eyes.

“They all thought it was a funny joke,” he continues.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t very fun for you,” Felix points out.

Seungmin nods in acknowledgment before Felix starts talking once more.

“If you aren’t mad…maybe let Jisung know. He seemed pretty shaken up afterward,” Felix says slowly.

“I think he feels bad for making you so worried,” he tells Seungmin thoughtfully, gazing at him with bright eyes as he snuggles up against him.
___________________________________________________________________________

Seungmin finds Jisung in the kitchen.

The younger had since taken a quick nap with Felix before getting up to search for a certain Han Jisung.

“Hi,” Seungmin greets, going up to the other boy and prompting him to turn around by poking at his arm a couple times.

As soon as Jisung turns to face him, Seungmin is leaning in to kiss him. They hold each other in their arms and Seungmin can feel the breath that fans out across his face when Jisung lets a sigh of relief when they pull away.

“Hey, Seungminnie,” Jisung says back, a loving smile on his face.

Seungmin immediately picks up on the slight edge in his tone and subtly frowns back at the boy.

“I’m not mad at you,” he states genuinely, tightening his arms around Jisung.

Jisung is restless as he shifts uncomfortably in Seungmin’s embrace. The younger is quick to release him. He feels a bit concerned as he watches the other subtly avoid eye contact, his eyes shifting around the room or down at their hands which are still intertwined.

“Do you want to walk with me?” Seungmin asks softly, hoping that a short walk will help his boyfriend relax more.

Jisung’s head snaps up in surprise, his smile wobbly but still just as wide and joyful as he utters a small, ‘yes’.
___________________________________________________________________________

Minho lets out a loud sigh of exasperation, shutting the cabinet drawer a bit harder than necessary.

Jeongin had been bothering him all week about making him jjajangmyeon for dinner and the older had yet to relent.

“Please, hyung. You promised me dinner the other day,” Jeongin points out.

“I promised to buy you dinner. Not make it,” Minho exasperates.

“But, hyung-.”

“I said no, Innie.”

“Hyung, it’s so easy to make though.”

“If it’s that easy, IN-ah, then why don’t you make it yourself?” he asks, glaring at his younger boyfriend.

“I would help you if you finally agree to make it for me,” Jeongin offers, smiling hopefully back at Minho.

The older boy lets out a frustrated groan in response.

“Ugh, IN-ah. I guess I’ll make it for you. …But only because I'm hungry too.”

Jeongin cheers in victory, grabbing Minho’s two hands to swing back and forth.

Minho shakes his head fondly at the boy.

“You're so high maintenance, Innie,” he jokes.

Jeongin doesn’t dignify him with a response and simply pulls him into a kiss by the chin.

Minho lets out a small sound of surprise but before he can even kiss back, a loud voice is interrupting them from the doorway of the kitchen.

“YAH! AGAIN?” screams Changbin. “FIRST CHANLIX AND NOW YOU?!”

Minho rolls his eyes, tapping Jeongin on the shoulder to get his attention.

“Jeongin-ah, go make Changbinnie shut up.”

The maknae easily agrees, skipping over to Changbin while giggling.

Then he pulls the older boy into a kiss, barely managing to even make their lips touch as uncontrollable laughter falls from his mouth.

Changbin pulls back with a look of disgust. He wipes his mouth against the back of his hand with a grimace.

The whole “kiss” had only consisted of Jeongin laughing against his mouth. ‘Disgusting,’ he thinks to himself.

“Kiss me like you mean it, IN-ah,” he says firmly, but Jeongin is still laughing at him, unable to stop himself.

Changbin huffs angrily.

“Here. I’ll show you,” he mutters.

Then he pulls his youngest boyfriend into a kiss, causing Jeongin to finally shut up. The maknae melts into it and Changbin smirks against his lips before pulling back with a start when Minho starts yelling.

“CHANGBINNIE, NO MAKING OUT WITH INNIE IN THE KITCHEN! FIRST CHANLIX AND NOW YOU!” the second-oldest screams, clearly mocking Changbin until his yells dissolve into high-pitched laughter when Changbin glares back at him.

“WE AREN’T EVEN IN THE-,” Changbin protests, but Minho blocks him out with his laughter, watching in amusement as his boyfriend gestures widely to show him that they are on the other side of the counter and therefore are not technically kissing in the kitchen. ___________________________________________________________________________

Overall, things are going super well for Stray Kids. They have just released a new album and have been working really hard to achieve their goals this year. And everything is going great with each other as well, considering how new they all are to this relationship and dating in general after having been in the company for so long. However, although things were indeed moving smoothly, that wasn’t to say there weren’t a few bumps in the road.

Chapter Text

He awakens in a panic letting out an audible whimper into the crisp night air. The window is open, blowing a cool breeze inside the bedroom and shining a small sliver of moonlight in. Minho finds himself tumbling out of bed and rushing towards the door, conscious of the obnoxious creek the door lets out as the handle turns.

Minho can feel his heart racing in his chest, still filled with the blind panic from the nightmare.

He lets out another whine as he blindly stumbles towards the other room. He can barely see where he is going but knows roughly where the other bedroom is located.

Once he finds the handle, he pushes the door open slowly, peeking his head in and letting out a small sound of content when he finds Felix sound asleep in his bed.

Minho carefully tip-toes into the room, softly giggling at how his feet make tiny tapping noises on the hardwood floor.

He makes his way over to Felix and holds his breath once he gets closer, ensuring that he doesn’t wake his boyfriend up.

Then Minho grasps the comforter with one hand and lifts it just enough to slip under the sheets.

Almost immediately, he latches onto Felix and makes a soft, rumbling sound from the back of his throat.

Felix doesn’t wake up but still manages to hold Minho tightly back, cuddling against him. With that, Minho lets himself slip back to sleep, too tired to keep holding onto consciousness.

Usually, Felix is the one sneaking into people's beds to sleep beside them. Especially after long talks, the boy likes nothing more than to fall asleep cuddling one of the other members. This time Minho’s the one who’s crawling into the younger boy’s arms to sleep, but Felix would never complain about that.
____________________________________________________________________________

When they pile into the car the next morning, Minho is feeling drowsy after his late-night endeavors the night before.

He had easily woken up before Felix had and carefully withdrew himself from the borderline suffocating grip Felix had around him. Then, without another thought, left the room to take a much-needed shower to refresh himself before they had to leave for schedules.

Once Minho makes his way into the back seat of the car, he instantly has his head pressed up against the window. His brain feels fuzzy and sleep-deprived after the nightmare he had experienced last night. His eyes struggle to stay open before he lets his heavy eyelids rest and succumbs to sleep once again.

“Shh, Sungie-hyung. Minho-hyung is asleep.”

Jeongin shushes Jisung with a tap on the shoulder after entering the car and spotting Minho resting softly against the window to his left.

Jisung, who had been loudly talking to Seungmin after hopping into the car, immediately flinches back, slapping a hand over his mouth as he turns with wide eyes to look back at his sleeping boyfriend. And sure enough, his hyung’s cheek is smushed up against the window as he quietly mumbles to himself in his sleep.

“Sorry,” Jisung quickly murmurs, his eyes moving downwards and his hand starting to fiddle with the bottom of his t-shirt.

“You’re good, Sungie,” Chan laughs lightly from beside the boy, looking up from his phone to rub the Jisung’s back gently.

Everyone soon is packed into the car with a breathless Changbin jumping in after Felix and a laughing Seungmin following behind them.

“I’m not late!” The older exclaims, his hands up in victory as he catches his breath, now secured in the car next to Hyunjin in the back.

This causes Seungmin to laugh even more (much to Jeongin’s protests) before turning back from the passenger's seat and diving into the story of how Changbin had forgotten to set his alarm this morning and had scrambled around the house in a rush to get ready. He then recounted how his older boyfriend had promptly lost his phone and had been frantically calling out for his Bixby to answer him for a good ten minutes.

Changbin pouts through Seungmin’s entire story before opening his mouth at the end to yell at the boy once everyone starts laughing as Seungmin tells the story of Changbin shouting, “Bixby, my baby, where the hell are you?” at the top of his lungs.

But before he can start his screaming, Jeongin is cutting him off.

“No,” he says firmly to Changbin. “Don’t yell or you’ll wake Minho-hyung.”

“Since when do you care so much about waking Minho-hyung?” asks Changbin, who looks flabbergasted at the way Jeongin has been aggressively shushing any of the members who are being too loud.

“Since Minho-hyung promised Innie he’d buy him food,” Felix snorts.

“I’m going to eat well tonight, Changbin-hyung,” Jeongin sighs contentedly, leaning back in his seat as his eyes close in bliss, imagining all the food he can force his boyfriend to buy him when they get back to the dorms.

Hyunjin giggles loudly at that, earning another exasperated shushing from the maknae.

“I doubt hyung will buy you more food just because you stopped us from disrupting his sleep on the way to practice,” Jisung points out.

“No. But, Jisung-hyung, if Minho-hyungie gets more rest, then he’ll be in a better mood to buy me all the food I want!”

“Oh,” Jisung lets out in understanding, nodding his head at Jeongin’s genius thinking, who in turn, shoots him a wide grin and finger guns.

“Besides,” he drawls out. “Hyung looks cute when he sleeps.” His words instantly prompting both Jisung and Hyunjin to turn back and look at Minho.

“Ah! Minho-hyung is so cute!” Hyunjin squeals in agreement, making sure to keep his voice quiet as he is right next to the sleeping boy and does not have a death wish.

“He looks so peaceful. It’s scary,” he adds in a whisper, looking fondly down at his older boyfriend.

“I’m cuter though. Right, Jinnie?” asks Changbin, puckering his lips cutely and tilting his head at the boy next to him.

Hyunjin turns his head only to grimace and turn back quickly, shaking his head, “No”.

The others laugh quietly at Changbin’s rejection before going back to coo over a sleepy Minho.

“Hyung is always so cute when he sleeps,” Jisung says, tentatively reaching over the back of his seat to gently stroke the older’s cheekbone.

Jeongin makes a strangled sound of horror, but Minho only twitches slightly, muttering something incomprehensible in his sleep.

“Minho-hyungie is the cutest when he’s excited about things. Sometimes he’s terrifying, but when he’s in a good mood, hyung acts more childish than I do,” Jeongin laughs out, reaching his phone over to snap a picture of Minho after pointedly making sure his flash isn’t on.

“I think all of you guys are cute,” Felix softly inputs before tiredly yawning and leaning his head on Changbin’s shoulder.

“Yeah, but Seungminnie-ah is the cutest overall,” Jisung argues. “He has a natural charm. But Lixie and Jeonginnie are adorable too.”

Seungmin turns back to look at him in bewilderment, letting out an incredulous, “Me?” in disbelief.

“Yes, you,” Jisung rolls his eyes.

“I think our maknae, IN-ah, is the cutest,” Changbin says through a pout, attempting to lean over the seats to plant a kiss on the back of Jeongin’s neck.

Felix gets jostled with Changbin’s movement and sleepily blinks his eyes open as Jeongin quickly jerks away from the incoming kiss.

“What do you think, Channie-hyung?” Felix questions, his eyes easily slipping back shut when Changbin returns to his previous position.

“All of you guys are cute to me,” Chan says through a yawn.

“But if you had to choose one of us, hyung,” Changbin presses, jokingly blowing the oldest a kiss in the hopes that he will say him.

“I can’t choose!” the oldest protests.

“You are all very adorable…even Changbinnie,” he adds, grinning at the other boy who frowns immediately at Chan’s words.

“No, not Changbin-hyung!” Jeongin laughs out, turning towards the older before crying out and jokingly covering his eyes at the sight.

“Changbin-hyung is not cute,” Hyunjin giggles teasingly, bracing himself for a punch to his shoulder that never comes.

“Ah, but Hyunjin-ah, Binnie is the visual of the group, remember?” Chan says, laughing along with the others.

Changbin huffs playfully, no one noticing how his eyes narrow slightly at their comments.

“Hyungs! Stop laughing so loudly or you’ll wake Minho-hyung,” Jeongin yelps, glaring at the rest of his boyfriends.

“Aw, Innie cares about our Min. So sweet,” Chan taunts, reaching over to pinch Jeongin’s cheek before his hand gets slapped away.

The maknae rolls his eyes, rubbing his sore cheek with a sour look on his face.

“IN-ah, send me that picture, will you?” Jisung calls, cheering softly when the maknae replies with a quick, “Okay,” and AirDrops the photo to him.

“Hyung will kill you both when he wakes up,” Hyunjin remarks, peering over to see the adorable picture of a sleeping Minho smushed up against the car’s window.

“Well, hyung doesn’t ever have to know,” Jisung sings back in a whisper while saving the photo to an album titled, “Blackmail”, which already contains nine hundred and twenty-three photos.

The others laugh at that, minus Felix, Changbin, and Minho. Minho is obviously fast asleep and oblivious to their conversation as he occasionally mumbles something under his breath or shifts in his sleep.

Felix is also fast asleep on Changbin’s shoulder, having been woken up early in the morning to the sound of Minho’s voice talking in his ear as he dreamed. At first, he had blinked down in confusion at the abnormally cuddly boy, who was currently snuggled closely in his arms. He briefly pondered how Minho had even gotten in his bed in the first place and why. But after hearing the older boy’s soft murmurs slowly cease, a smile quickly overtook Felix’s features as he pulled his boyfriend closer to himself and watched lovingly as the boy in his arms unconsciously let out a soft puff of air in content and hugged Felix closely back.

The only one of the three not sleeping is Changbin, who has already tuned out of the conversation, his music blaring in his earbuds as he watches the world pass by from the window.

He doesn’t speak the rest of the way to the company building and nobody bothers him, letting the boy stare out of the window with a tired Felix napping on his right shoulder.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Shit. Shit! I’m sorry, hyung. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bump into you. Fuck,” comes Jisung’s panicked apology as he hauls Changbin up to his feet.

During the choreography they were practicing, Changbin had accidentally stepped up too far and so when Jisung walked backward, he fell against the older and sent them both tumbling to the ground.

“It’s fine,” Changbin grunts out, dusting off his clothes before shooting the younger a confused glance.

“I’m really- I’m really sorry, hyung,” Jisung’s breath hitches as he apologizes again, backing up away from the older and anxiously clenching his fists, nails digging into his palms.

“I’m okay, Sung,” Changbin pushes, stepping forward to gently unclench the other’s fists.

“What happened?” Minho calls over to the pair, having been too caught up with instructing Jeongin on an easy way to do the last move to avoid straining his muscles to pay attention to what was going on behind him.

Jisung meets Minho’s gaze before looking quickly back to the ground.

He gently pulls his hands from Changbin’s grasp before hesitantly speaking up.

“I think Changbin-hyung did the move differently this time,” he tentatively says, glancing briefly at the older. “So when I walked back, I accidentally pushed him over and made him fall.”

“Was he too far forward?” questions Minho in confusion while Chan moves forward to the two of them, finally registering what happened and wanting to check and make sure they both are okay.

“We’re fine, hyung,” Changbin smiles, brushing off the leader’s unnecessary worry.

“But I’m sure I did the move how Minho-hyung taught me.”

Jisung flinches back slightly at the other’s words before letting out a breathy chuckle. Then he awkwardly clears his throat when his laugh sounds more forced than genuine.

“No, you’re right, hyung. Sorry,” he bows his head, giving his older boyfriend a sheepish smile.
____________________________________________________________________________

At the next water break, much to Jisung’s protests that it was his fault, Minho makes the two of them do the section over again to prevent any serious injuries from happening in the future.

“Yah, Changbin-ah. You’re too far up,” Minho shouts over the music, gesturing for the boy to back up further.

“Here?” Changbin hollers back, looking to the older for confirmation that he’s backed up enough to not get run over by Jisung this time.

Minho gives him a nod of approval before walking over to his phone to pause the music and restart the part over again.

While Minho counts out the beats for Jisung and Changbin, the other members are appreciating their short break, more than half of them slumped against the couch with their water bottles in hand.

“That’s good!” their older boyfriend finally yells, giving the two of them a small smile before moving over to pause the music.

Minho quickly checks the time before heading over to the couch to lay down.

“Five more minutes so Minho, Bin, and Jisung-ah can get water…then we start,” Chan reminds.

“Got it,” Changbin replies before turning to the boy next to him.

“Jisungie, you were right. I’m sorry,” he apologizes, patting Jisung on the shoulder as he shoots him a tiny smile.

“It’s fine, hyung,” Jisung brushes off his apology, smiling back at Changbin when the other gives him a quick squeeze, wrapping his arms over the younger's shoulders and pulling him close to his chest before pulling away and heading towards his water bottle.
____________________________________________________________________________

Chan walks towards the other side of the room with a slight frown after overhearing Changbin’s apology.

Jisung had been acting weird for about a week or so and Chan couldn't tell what was up with the boy. They have all been very busy lately however, the way Jisung is acting seems like more than just stress from work.

He makes a note to ask Jisung later about his weird behavior and check in on the younger and how he’s doing.

The oldest stops near the couch and takes a long sip of his water, letting out a quiet sigh. He takes in the sounds of the practice room filled with soft laughter from Felix, Seungmin, and Jeongin and the loud voice of Changbin talking with Hyunjin from somewhere behind him.

Chan turns back while taking another drink from his water and spots Jisung standing next to Hyunjin with his lips slightly upturned as Changbin tells them a story.

The leader smiles before turning back around and catching sight of Minho sitting in front of him, laying on the sofa.

Chan’s mouth quirks in surprise as he gazes over at Minho, who appears to be completely spaced out.

Minho’s knees are up to his chest as he reclines back against the cushion. But the most surprising part isn’t the way he’s seated but the sleeve Minho is currently chewing on in his mouth.

The fabric of his clothing goes a bit past his wrist and settles against his palm, which Minho is holding up to his mouth to gnaw at the end of the material.

His boyfriend seems to be in another world right now and Chan momentarily feels bad for the boy as it seems he must not have gotten a lot of sleep the night before.

However, he can’t help himself from teasing Minho a bit.

“Hey,” Chan calls out, gaining Minho’s attention.

“That taste good?” he teases, watching with a satisfied smirk as Minho’s ears turn red.

“Shut up,” his boyfriend mutters back, quickly tugging his tattered sleeve out of his mouth with a wince before playfully staring down his older boyfriend until Chan walks off with a laugh.
____________________________________________________________________________

“FELIX!” Chan yells out, slamming the door to the dorms open as the other members rush out of the car to follow behind them.

It had been a busy day with long hours of dance practice and then Stray Kids had just done a VLive all together, all of them happy to get to talk with their fans and relax with each other for a bit.

It seemed like everything was going great until they had all piled into the car and Felix had completely ignored Chan the entire way to the dorms. Then when they had parked, the younger had instantly jumped out of the car before anyone else could even get unbuckled and walked swiftly inside.

“Felix, please. Just tell me what’s going on,” Chan says firmly, stopping a few feet away from the entrance of the house as he watches Felix walk ahead of him and towards the bedrooms down the hall.

The younger boy spins around at his words and lets out an exasperated huff.

“Hyung, you said I was like a brother to you,” Felix accuses, walking closer to the leader, his voice pained as he recalls what Chan had said about him towards the end of the VLive.

The leader’s mouth drops open in shock, staying silent as Felix takes another step closer to him.

“You- You kept calling me “bro” and- everything, which is usually fine, it’s just-. It’s just what you said at the end,” Felix continues, all the anger gone as his eyes start to water.

To say Felix is upset is an understatement.

He feels pissed off and insecure and he absolutely despises it. It also doesn’t help that he feels completely selfish for feeling this way when he knows that Chan would never say or do anything to purposely hurt him.

Meanwhile, the oldest feels a pang of hurt in his chest as he watches his boyfriend wrap his arms protectively around himself as if he’s bracing for what the older’s about to say.

“I’m so sorry,” Chan starts off, voice barely above a whisper as he lifts his eyes to meet Felix’s.

“It’s-,” the leader cuts him off before Felix can finish.

“It’s not okay,” the older boy insists. “I wasn’t thinking when I said any of it and-. And, Felix, I promise you, I didn’t mean it. But that’s not an excuse for making you upset.”

The younger nods his head. His hands rub soothingly up and down his arms as he wraps them tighter around himself, his eyes briefly glancing up as he sees the other members quickly slip in through the door and carry themselves down the hall and to their rooms after shooting the two of them a worried glance.

“I promise, Lixie. The only reason why I say those kinds of things is so that we can be as close and touchy as we want without fans shipping us together. I mean, I don’t mind… But our manager used to always want us to play up the ChangLix ship-. And I guess now I’m just used to it,” the older tries to explain, wincing at the way he stumbles through the explanation.

He truly wasn’t thinking when he had said those words about Felix. Chan was just so used to writing off his affection and love for Felix as purely platonic on camera. So he hadn’t even thought about how Felix would feel about it now that they were dating.

“I know,” Felix replies, looking back into Chan’s eyes. “I know, it’s just- it’s just hard when you keep saying those things because I’d never want you to see me as- a brother.”

“I don’t. Felix, I don’t. No, I’ve never seen you as a brother,” the other is quick to reassure. “You were-…You were the first one I fell in love with.”

The leader’s cheeks grow warm at the confession. But all of it is true. Felix was his first crush out of all the members and the very first one he had fallen for.

Chan had never in a million years thought that Felix would return his feelings, much less his whole group feel the same way towards him. That’s especially why he was always used to calling Felix his “Aussie bro” on lives. After all, it was easier to hide and ignore your feelings than to suffer the pain of not having them reciprocated. And it was also easier for Chan to ignore his own pain if it meant the other members would get to be happy and blissfully unaware of his feelings for all of them. Because, beyond anything, the leader just wants them all to be happy.

“You love me?” the younger boy squeaks.

“Of course I do,” Chan assures, sending him a warm smile that lights Felix up from the inside out.

With that, Felix takes the last step towards Chan and collapses into his arms with a sharp cry.

The older holds him back as he feels warm tears drop down onto his t-shirt as his boyfriend digs his head into the crook of his neck.

Felix can feel his emotions overwhelming him. Only this time it’s not in a bad way like in the car when he just sat, silently overthinking everything about the whole VLive experience and feeling a horrible sinking in his gut when his mouth didn’t seem to want to make any noise in response to Chan’s questioning.

No, these feelings Felix is experiencing are in a good way. Because Chan means it. He means it when he says that he loves Felix.

It makes him feel wanted and loved, and the younger can feel this honey-like glow warming him up inside because Chan is one of the few people to have ever said those words to him and actually mean it.

The oldest rubs Felix’s back in concern when the other lets out a harsh sob, catching the eye of Jisung, who gives him a worried look as he emerges from the kitchen with a glass of water.

The leader shakes his head, letting Jisung know that he’s got it handled before turning his attention back to the boy in his arms.

Another sob racks Felix’s body and Chan tightens his grip.

“I’m just so excited,” Felix whispers into his neck once he realizes Chan’s concern.

He lets out a water chuckle before lifting his head up to say, “I love you” into Chan’s ear.

The older feels a rush of relief flow through him as he continues to embrace the younger boy, letting them stand for a moment more before pulling back to see Felix’s face.

Chan smiles at the wide grin Felix can’t hide before his expression is turning serious once more.

“I can stop saying stuff like that or at least try to say it less. I honestly don’t care about upsetting fans, Felix-ah. I care about you and the others a whole lot more.”

“I’d like that,” Felix states softly.

“And you know, Lixie…I’d much rather have you in my family as my husband than a younger brother,” Chan mentions a while later as he sits on the sofa with Felix in his arms and stomach full from all the food Jeongin had convinced Minho to buy, laughing to himself when Felix lets out a choked noise and turns bright pink.

Chapter Text

“HYUNGS, MEETING IN THE LIVING ROOM IN TEN!” Jeongin hollers.

“IN TEN MINUTES?” Felix yells back.

“NO, SECONDS. GET OUT HERE, FELIX-HYUNG!”

Felix yelps and quickly rushes down the hall, nearly skidding right into the couch as his socked feet slide on the floor.

“Careful, hyung,” Jeongin chides, steadying Felix by the waist before grabbing his hand to pull him towards the couch to sit.

“Okay, now that everybody’s here…” Chan laughs, rising to his feet to stand before all the members, who had already settled onto the sofa or the chairs beside it before Felix had arrived. “I wanted to let you know that we have the rest of the day off.”

“What?” Changbin squeaks out.

Hyunjin makes a similar sound as Felix’s mouth drops open in shock.

“Yup!” Chan confirms in a cheery tone.

“We have been working very hard lately and I figured we wouldn’t need double practices today after doing so great this morning. I’m very proud of you all after these crazy few weeks so I asked for no more practice today so we can relax a bit.”

“Shit, hyung-,” Hyunjin says in awe, flying up from the couch to attack the older in a hug.

Chan laughs in surprise, holding the other back.

Hyunjin curls into his embrace, making himself smaller as if trying to hide away in Chan’s arms. The older’s grin grows a bit less bright but he squeezes his boyfriend even tighter to his chest nonetheless.

Then Felix is darting over to the couple, hugging them both tightly to show his gratitude.

Chan scans the others' faces and sees nothing but smiles and gratitude. This week has exhausted everyone so even the small break they were getting today was much appreciated.

His members deserved so much more rest than they were getting, but Chan knew they wouldn’t be allowed much with their busy schedules so he would take what he could get.

“Thanks, hyungie,” Jisung whispers from the couch so quietly that Chan can barely hear him.

The leader smiles back at Jisung, shooting him a sunny grin with his dimples surely showing that makes the younger’s lips quirk upwards in a smile.

Felix pulls back as if sensing his smile and kisses Chan softly on the lips before pulling back and bounding back to the couch to snuggle back into Changbin, his legs resting comfortably over Jisung’s.

Hyunjin separates himself from Chan as well. His teary eyes immediately make the older boy want to frown, but those thoughts leave his brain as soon as soft lips slowly kiss the side of his face before leaving a longer peck against his mouth.

“Can we do something all together then?” Hyunjin asks in a whisper, leaning his body back into Chan’s to press their foreheads together as his eyes slip closed.

“That’s exactly what I was thinking, love,” the leader whispers back, a glint in his eyes as a smile spreads over his features.
____________________________________________________________________________

Chan is throwing on a light hoodie when he catches Minho on his way to the door.

“Hey, love,” he greets gently.

Chan watches as Minho grows visibly distraught, his eyes blinking rapidly as his eyebrows pinch together and a small frown graces his features. He waits for a second as if trying to read what’s going on in his younger boyfriend’s mind before a voice is interrupting his thoughts.

“Doesn’t it feel weird to you?” Minho surprisingly pipes up.

The leader frowns in confusion.

“What feels weird to me?”

Minho grunts in response, trying to find the right words as shifts his weight from foot to foot.

“Like…” his hands move up to gesture before slapping down against his thighs in defeat.

“Does- Does it feel strange to-, I guess…be in this relationship? Like the pet names and skinship and- and I heard Lix saying, ‘I love you, Channie-hyung’ the- the other day…,” Minho rushes to explain after his choppy first question.

“No. It doesn't feel strange to me. I mean…making things official has made everyone a bit more affectionate, but I wouldn’t say it’s really changed from before. And as for the thing with Lix, you- you don’t have to be ready to say that yet, Minho-ah. Or even be ready to feel that way either. Just because Felix is ready to say, ‘I love you’, doesn’t mean that you have to be, yeah? Is…Do you not feel comfortable with-”

Before Chan can finish, Minho is hurriedly interrupting, not wanting the older to get the wrong idea.

“I want you,” Minho blurts. “I do, hyung, I promise. I’m just- It’s-.”

“Min-,” Chan stops him, knitting his brows together.

Minho sighs in response, looking back at Chan. He had not expected his simple question to lead to such a discussion.

“Hyung,” he groans. “Let’s not have such a deep conversation. It takes the fun out of things,” he says, attempting to get the older to just flat-out drop the conversation.

The older shoots Minho an unimpressed look before opening his mouth to speak once more and getting cut off by Jeongin walking past them on his phone.

“Minho-hyung doesn’t have a problem with deep conversations. Hyung just doesn’t like sharing his feelings,” Jeongin states as he passes, sending a teasing grin Minho’s way.

“Hey!” Minho shouts back in protest, then winces.

It’s not like Jeongin is wrong.

“Minho-ah,” Chan starts again. “What is making you feel uncomfortable? Is it something we’re doing? Are you not happy with the pet names and everything?”

“No, no, no, hyung. I’m not uncomfortable,” Minho pouts back, rolling his eyes.

Then in a slightly tinier voice states, “I’m just not used to it, hyungie.”

“Not used to how we’ve changed or relationships in general?” Chan questions.

Minho hums, pausing as he mulls over what he’s going to say back.

The second-oldest has always been pretty closed off about his emotions. The members still swear that the only time they’ve seen him really cry was after the eliminations at the survival show.

It wasn’t that the boy didn’t trust them. It was simply that he wasn’t used to being so open. It didn’t come as easy as it did for people like Felix and Changbin, who were pretty honest with what they were feeling.

“Both. I’m not used to being…,” Minho trails off, unsure of where he's going with the confession.

“Loved,” Chan finishes slowly after a beat of silence washes over them.

“…Or loving others,” the older continues after a bit, his voice strained.

When he looks back at Minho it’s as if Chan can see straight through him.

Minho isn’t uncomfortable because he’s dating his members now. He really likes each and every one of them. It just isn’t normal for Minho. His father wasn’t the greatest person ever and he and his mother still had a pretty rocky relationship.

The most important things he's ever loved in his life were his cats until he became a part of Stray Kids. So maybe he wasn’t used to allowing people to love him and openly caring about them in return. After all, Minho had always been a lot better at subtly taking care of his members rather than big acts of affection. ‘…Or maybe I just suck at feelings,’ Minho reasons in his head.

A small movement in the corner of his eye has him glancing up to see Chan tugging the sleeves of his hoodie down more as he stares back at Minho. The younger twitches uncomfortably under Chan’s gaze.

“What about my cats, Channie-hyung? I love those pigs,” he jokes quietly.

The oldest lets out a breathy laugh.

“Of course. How could I forget?” he replies, shaking his head at the younger.

Then his expression shifts to something more serious.

“Kitten…,” Chan tries out, watching Minho closely for his reaction.

The nicknames simultaneously pisses Minho off and fills him with a strange feeling that makes him want to giggle happily and go up to Chan to give him a big hug, which is pretty new for the younger.

Chan watches as Minho’s ears grow red. He has been calling his boyfriend that ever since they had first kissed. Minho had made the tiniest sound of surprise when Chan pulled him back into the kiss and the older swears that it sounded exactly like a cat.

“Was that okay?” he asks finally, pretty sure of what Minho’s answer is going to be.

Minho nods without thinking, making Chan smile lovingly back at him before another thought pops into his head.

“Wait, Minho-ah-, do you think it’s the skinship mostly? I know you’ve never enjoyed lots of touching. Do you need us to tone it down a bit with the hugging and skinship?” Chan asks in concern.

“Maybe,” Minho answers honestly, wincing at his words. “I don’t mind most of the time. But some days, it’s- it’s hard ‘cause I’m not used to it.

“That’s okay,” Chan is quick to reassure. “I would never want you to feel like you’re obligated to give us affection and skinship just because we’re dating now.”

“I know, hyung. I do want to get more comfortable with it though,” Minho admits.

Although he isn’t thrilled with how this conversation had gone, Minho does feel a little better after talking to someone about what’s been weighing on his mind for weeks. And with Chan being his only hyung in the group, as well as his leader and oldest boyfriend, it makes it easier for Minho to open up to him.

“And we can all help you work on that,” Chan assures him with a smile, grateful for Minho communicating his boundaries with him.

“Besides, I think you’re good with kisses already. You seem to like those a lot, hm, kitten?” Chan teases before letting out a shriek when Minho lunges at him, taking off towards the kitchen with Minho’s footsteps trailing a step behind him.

His plan to work at the studio until their date night is completely forgotten as Minho gains speed on him, making Chan run faster as boisterous laugher spills from his lips.
____________________________________________________________________________

“We have to leave soon. Changbinnie made reservations,” Chan huffs impatiently, checking the time again on his phone.

“That’s it. I’m going to go get them,” Minho growls, stalking back into the house before anyone can stop him.

“WE NEED TO LEAVE, YOU TWO!” he yells, slamming the door shut as he strides down the hall, quickly approaching Jisung and Jeongin’s shared room.

“I need a minute, hyung,” Jeongin grumbles back, rummaging around in the room for something.

“I will give you exactly ten seconds to get out,” Minho shouts back.

“Hyung, no-”

“ONE! TWO! …TIME’S UP!” Minho screeches, pushing open the door and watching as Jisung leads the youngest out, tugging on Jeongin’s hand to get him to move despite the maknae’s protests.

When the three finally emerge from the house, Chan lets out a sigh of relief.

“Okay, now we can-”

“Oh, fuck no. C’mon Felix-hyung, we have to go change,” Jeongin declares, a look of displeasure written all over his face as he scans Felix up and down.

“What? Why do I have to-,” Felix stutters in confusion.

“This,” Jeongin gestures to his outfit. “…Is unacceptable. We are going someplace fancy.”

“He just made me change too,” Jisung remarks sympathetically, patting a stunned Felix on the back.

It was true. Jisung had gotten his outfit all picked out for their date night only for the maknae to come into their room, take one look at what he had laid out and deem it “unacceptable”, immediately forcing Jisung to change.

“I just want hyungs to look nice,” Jeongin whines, pulling Felix back into the house by the sleeve of his shirt.

Chan buries his face into his hands, letting out a distressed moan.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Minho-hyung, you look handsome,” Seungmin compliments.

All of his boyfriends look really nice especially when they dress up. Minho was actually the only one Seungmin hadn’t complimented yet.

“Well, yeah. Of course, I am,” Minho replies in disinterest, smoothing down his pants and tucking in his shirt a bit more.

Seungmin scoffs, rolling his eyes and mumbling under his breath, “Hyung always says this.”

Hyunjin giggles at his comment while appreciating the view of his beautiful boyfriends all dressed up.

“Won’t you be cold, hyungie?” Changbin worries, tapping Minho’s shoulder.

Minho looks over to him and freezes. They both stare at one another until Chan lets out a groan.

“Just go quickly,” he stresses.

Minho nods dutifully and rushes into the house with Changbin right behind him.

“Where the hell are you going, hyungs?” Felix shouts as they pass in opposite directions, Felix and Jeongin heading towards the door and Minho and Changbin sprinting off towards Minho’s shared bedroom.

The door gets slammed open and Changbin chuckles as Minho rushes over to the closet. He rummages through it quickly and pulls out a sweater.

Then Changbin watches curiously as Minho pauses to run his palms up and down the soft, fuzzy, blue sweater and how his eyes look a little wider and a peaceful smile makes its way onto his face. But before Changbin can speak up, the older is already rushing out of the room, taping Changbin’s butt on the way out.

“Really, hyung? That sweater?” Changbin hollers to him as he runs to catch up.

“Hurry up, slowpoke,” Minho cries back, ignoring his comment as they both breathlessly race out of the house.

Changbin snorts, shrugging off the strange sight of Minho and that god-awful sweater to focus instead on beating his hyung to the car.
____________________________________________________________________________

When they arrive at the restaurant, they are surprisingly on time for the sheer amount of times that one of the members had to go back inside for something.

“Who thought it was a good idea for all eight of us to have a date night?” Minho mutters, making Felix laugh loudly as they walk to the door.

“Oh, let me get the door for you,” Chan quickly says, moving behind Changbin, who’s at his side, to open the door for them to pass through.

“No, no. Let me get the door for you, hyung,” Changbin insists, emphasizing the “me” as he moves next to Chan and rests his hand against the handle of the door.

“No, you go ahead, Bin-ah,” the oldest protests, removing his younger boyfriend’s hand from the door.

“Nope! I insist, hyung,” Changbin presses, removing the older’s hand from the door so he can open it for him and the others.

“Don’t worry, Binnie. It’s not a big deal. I’ve got the door.”

“Oh no, hyung. I can get it.”

Jeongin lets out a sigh as the back and forth continues.

Then he pushes through the both of them and yanks the door open himself.

Only, instead of simply opening the restaurant door and having the rest of his boyfriends peacefully filter into the place, the door makes a loud snapping sound as it gets opened and a grating creak as the top hinge breaks.

Jeongin stares in horror as he quickly lets go of the slanted door.

“So maybe date night wasn’t the best idea,” Felix mumbles, looking at the sight in shock while the other members look on in varying states of surprise and disbelief.

Chan has his head buried in his hands as he walks inside, the manager having come out after the commotion of the people inside seeing the door tip slightly to the side, the side separated from the door frame at the top.

“Are you okay? Is everyone okay?” the manager says in a rush, checking in on the group at the door.

The rest of the members stay frozen as Jeongin hurries over to Chan’s side, his face turning pink as he apologizes to the owner.

Meanwhile, Changbin is looking more impressed than horrified, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards as if entertained by the thought that his youngest boyfriend just managed to break a fucking door before they even stepped foot inside of the restaurant.

“Holy, shit,” he laughs out, making the rest of his boyfriends turn to him with a mortified look on their faces.
____________________________________________________________________________

After the door incident, things went pretty well until halfway through their date.

Although they couldn’t be as touchy out in public for fear of others finding out and exploiting their relationship, Stray Kids still managed to have a great time. They discussed how they were doing after the long weeks of exhausting work with no breaks, shared funny stories throughout the week, and teased each of the members at least once throughout their meal.

However, everything went downhill from there.

Jisung’s throat had been feeling a bit dry and the waitress had gone to every table except theirs to fill up people’s waters.

“If you’re that thirsty, go up and ask them for water,” Changbin suggests, stealing some food off of Jeongin’s plate.

The maknae gently stabs him with his fork, making the older pout and instead steal from Felix, who was more open to sharing.

“Hyung, try some of mine,” Hyunjin offers, pushing his plate over to Changbin.

“That’s all you’re going to eat, Hyunjin-ah?” he asks in surprise.

Hyunjin looks away uncomfortably, nodding his head.

“I’m not that hungry, hyung,” he admits sheepishly. “The food was very good though!”

Changbin bobs his head in understanding before digging into Hyunjin’s leftover food.

“I can come with you if you want, Sungie,” Felix offers kindly, sending the boy a smile.

“Or I can go with you. I need to head to the bathroom real quick anyway,” Seungmin states, placing his utensils down neatly once he finishes his last bite.

“It’s fine. I can go by myself,” Jisung replies, sending them grateful looks for their willingness to go over with him.

Jisung has no problems as he makes his way over to the counter. His voice may shake as he asks one of the waitresses to fill his water but he manages to get his words out despite his voice sounding a bit pinched.

He thanks them for the water and heads back to their table. This time he can feel his hands shaking as he snakes his way in between tables to get back to them.

There were just so many people around him.

Being on stage with millions of fans, cheering and watching you, was a lot different than being surrounded by big groups of people with all the bodies and people and noise. It was overwhelming.

On stage, Jisung felt nothing but adrenaline pumping through his veins. It was thrilling and exhilarating to see the large crowds of fans gathered and all the cheering and singing. Jisung loved nothing more than performing with his group and showing his songs for Stays to enjoy. That’s why he had become an idol in the first place.

But when he wasn’t on stage, Jisung would feel nothing but anxiety with large crowds of people. And now in this large restaurant with so many people talking and laughing and eating food, Jisung can only feel panic overtaking his body.

Usually, he has someone to hold onto when he gets like this. Or at least one of the members’ clothing to clutch tightly in his fists when they walk through particularly busy places. Only, when Jisung looks up, he can’t even see the members through his blurry vision and stuttered breaths.

His hand tightens on his glass, the cold water now feeling warm as he straightens his back and tries to walk normally the rest of the way back.

What he does not anticipate is Seungmin and Felix coming back from the restroom at around the same time and for Felix to spot him behind the pair and to turn around to greet Jisung with a sunny smile.

The boy gasps as Jisung stumbles into him and Jisung watches in horror as his glass of water soaks through Felix’s white top.

“Son of a-,” Felix gasps, the cold liquid spreading goosebumps down his arms and legs.

Jisung staggers back from him in shock, his brain still trying to catch up to what just happened.

“Again?” Chan groans disappointedly, causing Jisung to flinch back with tears filling his eyes.

The leader had been hoping for an accident-free date with the seven of them but had to admit that Jeongin breaking a door and Jisung spilling water on Felix was much more Stray Kid’s style.

“God, Jisung,” Seungmin mutters, picking up a napkin to attempt to help Felix somewhat dry his shirt.

Jisung feels horrible. Not only had he dropped water on one of the members, but out of all of his boyfriends, it had to be their sunshine. Felix was one of the sweetest people Jisung knew and was the first one Jisung had gotten together with and the first one he had a crush on (dating back to the survival show days). If Felix was mad at him then there was no way everybody else wouldn’t be too.

“How did you manage that?” Minho says in a lighthearted tone, joining Seungmin as they try to pad Felix’s shirt dry.

“You okay, Lix?” Chan calls, to which Felix lets out a laugh.

“I’m good, hyung. It’s cold though,” he giggles down at his sopping shirt before looking back at the others at the table.

“Hyunjin-ah, stop ogling Felix’s abs and come help,” Minho scolds, purposely pulling Felix’s shirt tighter around his middle to make Felix laugh and swat him away.

“What?” Hyung yelps. “I wasn’t-”

By then Jisung has completely tuned out the conversation. Everything feels tight and uncomfortable as he tries to hold back his tears, not wanting to irritate his boyfriends more.

His brain is an endless loop of self-deprecating thoughts as his heart beats erratically in his chest. It’s beating so loudly that Jisung momentarily wonders how the others can’t hear it right now.

Jisung vaguely hears Minho asking how he had managed to spill the water on Felix, which only makes the tears even harder to hold back.

He had tried so fucking hard.

Jisung had tried so hard to do everything right but he always found a way to fuck things up.

He feels his breathing grow faster, his breath hitching as his vision turns fuzzy once again and his knees wobble underneath him.

‘Why aren't I good enough for them?’ Jisung thinks over and over again. ‘They hate you now. Why’d you have to annoy them? Now they’ll never want you. You’ll never be good enough.’

‘You made Changbin-hyung fall at practice. What if he had gotten hurt? And you made Seungminnie angry because you stole his phone for a stupid prank. He was upset, how could you? And now you’ve spilled water on Felix, ruining a nice evening with your boyfriends and making them all mad at you. Are you serious? No wonder you aren’t good enough,’ his thoughts spiral out of control.

Jisung lets out a small, choked sob, sinking down to his knees and making his boyfriends freeze in shock.

They had been so busy cleaning off Felix and laughing at him to notice that Jisung hadn’t been laughing along.

“Sungie?” Felix calls worriedly, the sound of Felix’s sweet voice only making Jisung cry harder.

He doesn’t deserve that.

“Jisung, what’s wrong?” Felix asks more firmly, moving over to him as the rest of the members quickly rise from their seats and surround the boy.

They don’t want to overwhelm him, but someone in the restaurant potentially recording his panic attack would make Jisung feel even worse the next day.

“I’m sorry,” Jisung sobs out, his mind a mess of thoughts and overwhelming emotions.

Why can’t he just be good enough?

“It’s okay, baby. I’m fine, see?” Felix smiles back at him but only manages to make Jisung let out another quiet but heartbreaking sob.

“I’m sorry, F- Felix. I- I’m so fu- fucking sorry. I didn’t- I’m sorry.”

“Nobody is mad at you, Sung. Lixie is fine,” Hyunjin quickly reassures.

“Hey, Jisung. I need you to breathe, okay?” Chan states when the boy starts shaking even more, bringing his legs up to make himself into a ball.

Felix allows the oldest to pass through the circle of members to crouch down near Jisung.

He reaches out for the boy, hesitantly laying a hand on Jisung’s shoulder.

Jisung flinches back immediately at the touch and curls in on himself even more, a whimper falling from his lips as his fingernails dig into his arms in an attempt to ground himself.

The only thing running through his mind is how much the members must hate him. All he wants is for things to work out between the eight of them. New relationships are hard but Jisung swears he’s never liked anyone as much as he likes the rest of his members. But all he seems to be doing lately is fucking up and making them mad.

“‘M sorry, Lixie. So- So sorry. Sorry for m- messing every- th- thing up an’- makin’ you m- m- mad.”

“You didn’t mess anything up, Hannie. Hyung promises,” Minho states firmly from his spot behind the curled up boy on the floor.

“We aren’t mad, hyung,” Jeongin whispers earnestly.

Jisung’s breathing only seems to get worse despite their reassurances. Everything is growing blurry as tears stream down Jisung’s face and his chest feels tight and constricted, cutting off his airflow as he gasps for breath.

Felix’s breath hitches when he sees Jisung’s nails press harder into his skin, turning away and squeezing his eyes shut when he sees the small crescent marks slowly turning red.

“Jisun-,” Changbin gulps.

“H- Home, Binnie. Want t- to go h- home…p- please. P- Please.”

Chapter Text

“H- Home,” Jisung repeats in a desperate whisper.

His whole body is trembling as he presses his face into his hands to cover it from the member's view.

The last thing he wants is for the members to have to watch him break down. It’s already embarrassing enough to do it on the ground in the middle of a restaurant. ‘A very expensive restaurant,’ his brain reminds him. ‘That Changbin-hyung made reservations at and Channie-hyung and Hyunjin-ah agreed to pay for.’

Jisung’s breaths are fast and harsh, making his chest and head pound.

The dizziness only increases as it gets harder and harder to breathe, making his vision spin.

“We’ll get you home, Sungie. We can leave right now, I just need you to stand up for me,” Changbin softly says, squatting down next to the boy.

Through the haziness of his brain, Jisung manages to pick up on what Changbin is saying to him.

A sense of urgency surges through him and Jisung immediately moves to get up. However, as soon as he pushes up from the ground, Jisung comes crashing back down as his lightheadedness only gets worse.

A pained sob tears its way from Jisung’s throat as he attempts in vain to scramble back up again, wanting nothing more than to get out of the restaurant and go home.

“-sung! Jisung!” someone calls out to him.

“C- Can’t,” he cries back in response, the air rushing into his lungs in short gasps. “I- I ca- can’t get up.”

“It’s okay, baby. We can help. I just need you to concentrate on breathing for a bit,” Chan instructs, finally getting through to the boy and relaxing a bit when he sees Jisung start to breathe more steadily.

The younger closes his eyes in concentration as he tries to level his breathing. He hears one of the others behind him start to count to help him keep time of his breaths.

As he gets his breathing somewhat under control, it feels as though the energy has rushed out of his body completely. Jisung slumps onto the ground, his legs falling open until he’s sprawled out on the cold, hard ground. He keeps his breaths steady with the unconscious rhythmic tapping of his fingers on his thigh, which serves to slightly calm his rapid heartbeat.

“Lix,” Jisung sniffles after a few minutes.

He reaches his hand up and Felix takes ahold of it, lightly squeezing Jisung’s shaking fingers.

“C’mon, baby. Let’s get home. Can you lean on me while we walk to the car, Sungie?” Felix asks softly, his face scrunched up in concern.

Jisung manages a small nod, slowly rising to his feet. All the while, he tightly grips Felix’s hand before collapsing against his side.

A small exhale leaves his lips, almost feeling lethargic as he uses Felix to hold himself upright, far too sluggish to even berate himself for not being able to stand on his own.

“Thank you, Jisungie,” he hears Felix whisper.

The other lets go of Jisung’s hand so he can gently guide him to sling his arm around Felix’s shoulders while Felix, in turn, wraps his arms around Jisung’s waist.

“You’re doing so good, baby,” Seungmin says, suddenly appearing in front of Jisung and gently brushing his hair away from out of his face.

Jisung pushes into Seungmin’s hand, letting out a sigh of appreciation at the touch.

‘See? They aren’t mad at you’ he tries to reassure himself. But that only brings on the thought that they should be after all the shit he pulled these past weeks. His breath hitches and before Jisung can stop it, he feels tears begin to fall down his cheeks once more.

Felix looks up at the leader at the unconscious noise Jisung lets out, sending Chan a panicked look.

“Sungie, love, we’re going to start walking now, yeah? You can hold onto Felix until we get to the car,” the oldest announces, wanting to get Jisung home as soon as possible or at least to someplace where there were less eyes on him.

“O- Okay,” Jisung rasps back, starting to walk along with Felix as the rest move to surround the two to shield Jisung more.

Hyunjin and Seungmin are quick to volunteer to go pay for their meal while the others help to get Jisung out of the restaurant. The two of them could use a small break anyways so they don’t mind going.

Hyunjin is about two seconds away from bursting into tears himself at the sight of Jisung so distressed. It hurts all of them to see one of their boyfriends so panicked and upset. And Hyunjin knows that crying would really not help the situation and he would never want the attention to be taken off of Jisung who really needs their comfort right now.

Seungmin is in the same boat as Hyunjin, feeling a sharp pang in his chest as they make the final payment. He feels horrible for not being able to help Jisung more and the feeling of hopelessness at having to just watch Jisung struggle through a panic or anxiety attack without any way to make him feel better was an awful experience.

Meanwhile, as the two pay for their meal, the rest of the members have taken to flanking Jisung and Felix’s sides as they walk out. Most people politely avert their eyes from the group, but Changbin, Minho, and surprisingly Jeongin make a point to all glare at the people who don’t.

“Yah! Stop glaring!” Chan whisper-yells to the three before he turns around himself to stare down the family watching Jisung until they look away in embarrassment.

Once the meal is paid for (courtesy of Chan and Hyunjin’s credit cards), Seungmin and Hyunjin race back to the car as fast as they can.

By then, the others have managed to get Jisung situated in the car with Felix beside him.

Hyunjin opens the door only to recoil back immediately, his eyes zeroing in on the small crescent-shaped marks from Jisung’s fingernails that he can see adorning his skin. His heart hammers in his chest as he tears his gaze away from the markings, knowing fully well that he has those exact same scars decorating the insides of his own wrists and hidden away under his bracelets.

Felix is about to speak up but notices Hyunjin staring and follows his gaze to the tiny imprints on Jisung’s skin. He squeezes Jisung’s hand as he lets out a breath, trying to ignore the way his stomach turns at the sight.

“Hyunie,” Hyunjin hears Chan call from inside.

He blinks his eyes back into focus and swiftly pulls himself in, just now noticing that Seungmin has already slid into the passenger's seat and that the others were all waiting for him expectantly to get into the car.
____________________________________________________________________________

By the time they’ve gotten home, Jisung is out cold, his head nodding forward against Chan’s chest as the older carries him inside.

Jisung nuzzles his nose and the side of his face into the leader’s chest as he sleeps, making a small smile grace the older’s face as he brings him into the living room.

Felix quickly leaps onto the couch and makes grabby hands over to Chan for the boy to be placed in his open arms. The others flop next to them on the couch or sit in front of them on the ground so as not to overwhelm Jisung when he wakes up.

A half hour later, everyone has changed into some comfier clothes except for Jisung and Felix, the latter of the two refusing to leave Jisung’s side even for a second.

By then, Feix is close to falling asleep himself as he holds his boyfriend snugly to his body. He almost does in fact, had it not been for the small murmur of his name from Jisung’s lips.

“Lix?” the older sleepily blinks his eyes open, seeing Felix nestled against his side.

“Hi, Sungie. You awake?” Hyunjin calls from the ground in front of them, having fully relaxed after changing into some comfy pajama pants and a light t-shirt.

Jisung shifts to look over Felix’s shoulder at Hyunjin. In the process, he spots their other boyfriends and notices how the worried expression on Chan’s face quickly morphs into a smile a bit too late to be inconspicuous.

He feels a sinking feeling in his stomach as the memories from the restaurant come back to him. A frown immediately takes over his features as he struggles out of Felix’s arms to sit cross-legged on the couch.

“Jisung-ah, are you feeling b-”

“I’m sorry,”Jisung cries, cutting off Chan, his eyes wide in panic and guilt while his heart thuds loudly in his chest. ‘This is all your fault. This is all your-’

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Felix reassures, wrapping his arms around Jisung in a quick squeeze before releasing him in case the other can’t handle too much skinship.

“No, I- You were all having a good time and I ruined it,” Jisung shakes his head, feeling horrible for having interrupted their date night because of something so stupid.

‘Why couldn’t you just suck it up and let them have a good date?’ he asks himself.

“None of us would’ve had a good time knowing that you were feeling bad, Ji,” Chan reminds, knowing for a fact that none of their boyfriends could even allow themselves to have fun if they knew one of the members was hurting.

“And I don’t know about the rest of you, but I still had a good time, Hannie,” Minho states from the right side of the couch, getting nods and assurances that it had still been a great date and that Jisung hadn’t up messed anything.

“Yeah, Jisung-ah. Remember Innie breaking the door? That was the highlight of my whole week,” Changbin comments, reminiscing on that beautiful moment.

This earns him a small chuckle from Jisung, making Changbin smile brightly and give himself a mental pat on the head.

“I still feel guilty though. Not- Not just for today,” Jisung expresses, his voice quiet as he sniffles loudly.

He wipes at his puffy eyes, eyes downcast to avoid the member's stares. He can feel a knot in his chest as he remembers how much fun his boyfriends had been having before he had to go and ruin it. ‘You ruin everything,’ he thinks to himself.

“What do you feel guilty for, Jisungie?” Seungmin interrupts his thoughts with a frown.

Jisung’s breath hitches but he knows it’s been going on for far too long for him to just brush off and ask the members not to worry about it like he usually does. ‘Just tell them,’ he pushes himself.

“I- I’ve just been fucking things up all the time lately,” Jisung finally replies, biting his lip harshly to stop the tears from falling. “And- And I’ve made you- you all mad and- upset, which-”

“What?” Minho cuts him off sharply, eyes narrowed before his expression softens when Jisung flinches back slightly.

“Sorry, Hannie, but who’s gotten mad at you?” the older asks in confusion.

“No, it’s not- I-” Jisung pauses to take in a shuddering breath of air.

Felix scoots closer to him and puts a gentle arm over his chest, across Jisung’s heart. The older grasps onto his arm, grounding himself as he takes in another breath.

“Take your time, Sungie,” Chan reassures from somewhere on the ground to Jisung’s left.

“‘Kay,” Jisung breaths out, his thoughts an overwhelming mess of the many, many times he had messed up and done something wrong. The sight of Changbin falling in practice after Jisung ran into him plays on repeat in his head. And the stress and agitation on Seungmin’s face when Jisung and Jeongin stole his wallet burns into his mind. Then what happened at the restaurant that resulted in Jisung crying and panicking on the floor while Felix’s nice shirt was soaked through with water pops back into his head.

“Ji-,” Changbin voices softly, knowing from so many years of being friends with Jisung that the younger is definitely spiraling and most likely his brain isn’t currently being the nicest to him.

Jisung heaves in a breath, holding it for a while before exhaling through his mouth.

“M- Made Seungminnie angry when I stole his wallet with Innie for a p- prank. And- And he was s- super worried about- about it. Then, I- di- didn’t even apolo- apologize. An’ I- hurt Changbinnie-hyung. My- My fault for gettin’ in his- in his way during the d- dance. And I- spilled w- water on Lixie. I’m so-. I just-,” he breaks off, his throat scratchy and dry as he clears it loudly in an attempt to hold back the tears building up in the corners of his eyes.

“I- I jus’ really want things to work out between us. And so- I- I know it’s stupid…but I was trying so hard to not fuck up or anger any of you be- because I’ve never-,” he cuts himself off with a humorless chuckle.

“I’ve never wanted something to work out more than I want us to,” Jisung finishes with a wobbly smile aimed at the other members.

Seungmin feels his stomach sink at having made Jisung feel that way. He had honestly been feeling so stressed and exhausted lately but he had never meant to hurt Jisung by ignoring him at first after him and Jeongin had pulled that prank.

The rest of the members also feel awful after Jisung’s statement. Changbin feels like he should have noticed before that Jisung wasn’t doing great and made sure he knew that him falling in dance practice wasn’t in any way Jisung’s fault. And even if it had been, Changbin was completely fine and would’ve never blamed the other boy for running into him.

Chan especially feels horrible for not having confronted Jisung. He should have done it right after he first observed his strange behavior with Changbin, but he had gotten so wrapped up in work that he had forgotten.

“You…Are you worried that this relationship won’t last between all of us?” Chan asks, his heart hurting at the thought of ever having to part with his boyfriends.

Jisung quickly shakes his head.

“I was worried you guys would hate me if I kept fucking up,” he clarifies.

“No one hates you, baby,” Felix whimpers in Jisung’s ear.

The older (by a day) hears the barely suppressed trembles in Felix’s voice and turns in his embrace to fully hug him, feeling his own tears wet Felix’s shirt as he clings to him. It’s the very same shirt Jisung had poured water down about an hour ago. It’s dry by now but the thought makes Jisung let out a teary laugh into Felix’s shoulder.

“I just keep- me- messing u- up,” Jisung sobs out, clutching Felix even tighter.

“You haven’t messed anything up, Hannie,” Minho whispers, moving closer to the couple to pet Jisung’s head gently.

“Baby, we could never ever hate you,” Changbin says. “I promise I wasn’t upset and- Sungie! How was it your fault that I ran into you at practice and made myself fall? You were doing perfect!”

Jisung giggles at that, nodding his head in acknowledgment and making Changbn feel a lot better knowing that the younger knows that it wasn’t his fault.

“I love you, hyung,” Jeongin whispers, hesitantly putting a hand on Jisung’s back. “Not- Not like love-love you. N- Not yet. But I really like you a lot. Promise.”

Jisung pulls back a bit from Felix to hold his pinky out to Jeongin, who is quick to intertwine his own pinky with Jisung’s before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Hyunjin lets out a strangled sound of horror and practically lunges at Jisung to do the same, glaring over at the maknae for him getting to kiss Jisung before he got the chance to.

The boy laughs at this, his cheeks tinted pink from their affection as the tears come to a stop.

Suddenly, Seungmin is rising from his place on the floor and coming to kneel before the couch, wrapping his arms around both Jisung and Felix.

“Seungmin-ah?” Jisung asks softly, not letting his surprise show from the younger’s abnormal skinship.

Just like Jeongin, Minho, and sometimes Hyunjin, Seungmin wasn’t the most keen on touching. He enjoyed the occasional hug and contact with them, but other than bothering the youngest and making a joke out of Jeongin rejecting his attempts at affection, Seungmin usually wasn’t one to engage in a lot of skinship.

“I’m sorry, Jisungie. I should’ve been more understanding. I was just so- tired and that’s no excuse but-”

“Minnie, it’s fine,” Jisung laughs, hugging the younger back tightly. “You had every right to be upset, Seungmin-ah. My stupid brain was just telling me that you hated me even when I knew that that wasn’t true,” Jisung replies.

He was telling the truth. Deep down, Jisung knew that a lot of his worries were irrational. That didn’t make them any less real or valid, however, he was still able to recognize that the members could never find it in themselves to hate him even if he made mistakes. It was just sometimes hard for Jisung to see that.

“Not stupid,” Chan inputs, making Jisung laugh.

“Alright,” Jisung replies through a yawn, deciding to humor Chan. “Not stupid.”

Jisung gives Seungmin one last squeeze before releasing him and giving him a wet smooch on the side of his face.

“EW! Oh God, Jisung,” Seungmin gasps in horror, clutching his cheek like he’s in physical pain from what Jisung just did.

The older borderline cackles, laughing heartily as the others join in too.

“Would a kiss from your hyung help you feel better, Seungmin-ah?” Changbin asks, grinning as he jokingly moves towards him with his lips puckered.

“Even worse!” Seungmin cries, making the others' laughter only increase.

Changbin laughs too but it patters out after a few seconds. Everyone else doesn’t see the way he slightly stiffens as he watches them continue to laugh or how his laugh sounds a little forced as he tries to join in.

“Sung,” Chan speaks up when he notices Jisung let out a second yawn.

“Yeah?” Jisung murmurs sleepily, the effects from his anxiety attack catching up to him as his body folds back into Felix’s arms.

“Is there anything we can do to help you not feel this way in the future? I don’t want our relationship to stress you out or have you feeling like we don’t care.”

Jisung gives his words some thought, his exhausted brain trying to come up with a way to articulate what he wants to say to them.

“Maybe just…reassurances when I need them,” he says, his voice raising higher at the end as if asking a question.

Chan nods encouragingly so he continues.

“I don’t need constant reassurance but maybe if I think one of you is mad at me, instead of overthinking it, I can just ask. It’s mainly- It’s not the relationship that’s hard for me. I think it’s new for all of us and we- aren’t exactly the norm, I guess. So I was worried of messing it up because I really do care about you a lot,” Jisung finishes, shooting a smile to Chan, who can tell this time it’s one hundred percent genuine.

“We know, Sungie. And we all care about you too,” the leader smiles back.

“Now Jisung-ah should really get some sleep,” Felix remarks as he sees the boy’s eyes falling closed before they snap back open then sliping closed again in an instant.

Jisung nods without complaint, kissing Felix’s upper arm as if to say a small “thank you” for letting him sleep against it.

The other members all have soft smiles on their faces as they watch.

“Minho, can you help me get his clothes to get him ready for bed? I think we’ll let him sleep on the couch tonight. I don’t wanna to move him. He looks exhausted,” Chan comments, cupping Jisung’s cheek and watching in amusement as the younger slowly turns his head to place a small peck on Chan’s palm as he falls asleep against it.

Minho hums in agreement, standing up to go over to Jisung and Jeongin’s rooms to grab some comfortable clothes to change Jisung into.

“Baby, Channie-hyung and I are going to get your pj’s on for you real quick, that okay?” Jisung hears Felix whisper to him through a haze of sleepiness.

He manages a nod, letting the two of them change him into baggier clothes then squirming a bit in content when he feels Hyunjin and Seungmin move him so he’s laying more comfortably on the couch.

“WAIT! HE DIDN'T BRUSH HIS TEETH!” Seungmin shouts, making Minho glare before chasing after him for almost waking up the sleeping Jisung.

The yelling doesn’t bother Jisung as he feels Changbin draping a few blankets over his body, including his weighted one that he can’t sleep without, and Jeongin tucking them under his feet so he stays warm.

“G’night,” Jisung slurs, feeling Chan gingerly sit next to him, combing through his hair as he faintly hears the pattering of his other boyfriends walking back to their individual rooms after each leaving a sweet kiss on Jisung’s face.

“Love you,” he hears Chan whisper before the exhaustion finally gets the better of him.
____________________________________________________________________________

Later in the night, since it was a bit early when Jisung fell asleep, Seungmin is finally going to bed. Minho went in almost right after Jisung had fallen asleep and Felix and Changbin weren’t far behind him.

He mutters a quick goodnight to Hyunjin, who tiredly hugs him to his chest. They stand there for a second while happy butterflies fill Seungmin’s chest before Hyunjin pulls back with a sigh, barely able to keep his eyes open as he trudges back down the hall.

Seungmin visits Felix, Changbin, and Chan’s room last after giving Jeongin a kiss and wishing him a good night's rest.

Before he even gets halfway into the room, Seungmin can tell someone is missing. A frown makes itself present on his face and his expression pinches up, trying not to let himself panic over something small when Chan was probably just out in the living room still.

He decides to check just in case even though it’s almost one hundred percent likely that their leader is out in the kitchen having a glass of milk or looking after Jisung.

When Seungmin arrives, he immediately spots Chan, an unconscious smile upturning the corners of his face as he takes in the sight. The older has situated himself on the couch beside Jisung, cuddling the younger after most likely having fallen asleep while trying to stay awake to look after Jisung.

Seungmin shakes his head at the leader but goes to grab another blanket anyways. He turns and feels momentarily taken aback as he sees the usual stress on Chan’s face melt completely away as he hugs Jisung tighter to him. Seungmin chuckles, wondering if Jisung is just that much of their happy pill to make all the worry evaporate from Chan as he snuggles against him when the leader usually has a difficult time falling asleep.

“Sleep well,” he whispers to the two of them, draping the last blanket over Chan and Jisung before walking back to his shared room to sleep.

Chapter Text

It’s a normal late morning breakfast in the Stray Kids’ dorm and most of the members have already woken up and headed into the kitchen, where Seungmin and Minho already sit, talking to one another at the counter. Chan soon wakes up but instead of Jisung in his arms, he finds Felix curled into his embrace, who must’ve woken up a little before the leader and cuddled up to him on the couch. The next to wake up are Hyunjin and Changbin with Hyunjin clinging onto the older’s side, mumbling about how it was still far too early to be awake.

By the time, Hyunjin and Changbin make their way into the kitchen, Seungmin is just starting to fry his egg for breakfast as well as one for Hyunjin like he usually does.

“Seungminnie,” Chan yawns out. “Can you make hyung an egg too?”

“I want one! What is with this favoritism? Always making Hyunjinnie a fried egg but never anybody else,” Changbin complains.

Seungmin scoffs, but begrudgingly starts frying eggs for everyone, muttering under his breath, “You’re all my favorites.”

Felix grins, looking smug as he overhears what Seungmin said.

“What was that, Seungminnie?” he drawls as he leans closer to the boy, who turns and bonks his forehead against Felix’s.

This makes the older cry out, causing Seungmin to start chuckling. Felix slaps him lightly on the shoulder.

“Hey! I’m making eggs for everyone over here!” Seungmin protests, then furrows his eyebrows in confusion when he doesn’t hear Felix retort back.

He uses a spatula to flip the egg in the pan over, knowing Felix and Chan like their fried eggs more on the dry side before calling out to him.

“Lix?”

When he gets no response, Seungmin finally realizes that the room is eerily quiet. Then someone, who he thinks is Chan, mutters, “Holy shit”.

With that, Seungmin is turning off the stove to look at whatever has caught the others’ attention, far too curious after the unusual moment of silence in the dorms.

“Hi, hyungs!” Jeongin greets with a grin, causing Seungmin to let out a strangled gasp.

There Jeongin stands in all his glory, wearing a cropped pink shirt and a pair of low rise jeans.

“Jesus, fucking- Oh, God” Felix mutters and Seungmin can see Hyunjin mutely nod in agreement to Felix’s words.

“I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed your crop top. I think I like it though, Channie-hyung. So I might keep it,” Jeongin shrugs, oblivious to the jaws dropping to the floor at what the maknae is wearing.

Chan had recently purchased a few more crop tops in various colors after the members complained for the millionth time that the leader wore far too much black and needed to liven up his closet. The pink crop top that Jeongin was currently wearing had come first, but didn’t end up fitting him so the oldest left it up for grabs for whoever wanted the shirt. However, Chan is now regretting that decision because the low cut on Jeongin’s jeans paired with the cropped pink shirt have the maknae’s abs on full display.

“You- Innie!” Seungmin screeches, covering his face with both hands before immediately moving them down to look at the boy again.

Jeongin looks confused, taking off the black baseball hat momentarily to brush his hair back before putting it back on.

Meanwhile, Felix is grinning from ear to ear, shamelessly letting his eyes run up Jeongin’s torso. He’s honestly so impressed that he feels about seconds away from giving a standing ovation.

Chan is still frozen as he looks at the maknae, his brain debating if he should turn away and hide or wolf whistle at Jeongin’s outfit for the day. The boy has always been a fashionista after all.

“Shit, you're hot. You look- so good, Innie. Oh my God!” Hyunjin exclaims, his eyes wide as he clasps a hand over his mouth in shock.

He never expected this would be what he woke up to and to say he was fully not prepared would be an understatement.

“Thanks, hyung!” Jeongin grins back, still looking a little baffled at the others' responses.

Changbin lets out a little whoop, his cheeks flushed as he goes over to the maknae for a hug, (which Jeongin refuses) while Felix starts laughing, clapping loudly at the sight.

Minho lets out a hoot as well, despite his ears turning a very vibrant color of red.

“Is this how Stay feels?” Seungmin mutters dejectedly, walking over to the maknae while the others cackle at his comment.

Seungmin moves to the other boy and brings his arms up to clasp Jeongin’s waist, who stares back in confusion.

“Go change,” Seungmin commands jokingly before laughing along with everyone else.

“Wow, Innie. What happened to our baby bread?” Chan giggles.

“Hyung!” Jeongin shouts in embarrassment.

“He’s muscle bread now, Channie-hyung” Felix laughs back.

Jeongin looks agast, putting a hand over his heart as he stares at Felix in horror. Seungmin massages his sides while he joins in with the other member’s laughter.

“WAFFLE!” Changbin suddenly shouts, making everyone dissolve into another fit of laughter.

“No! I'm a baby muscle bread!” Jeongin insists, shoving Seungmin and Changbin off of him after the latter of which had migrated over to him to trace over his stomach.

“Seriously though, you look fucking hot right now, Jeongin-ah,” Felix compliments once he’s done laughing.

“Yeah, you’re gorgeous, Innie,” Chan adds.

“Our adorable maknae!” Changbin coos as Jeongin groans in embarrassment.

“He’s always beautiful,” Seungmin says, sending a wink to the maknae, who glares right back at him.

“Our Innie is always pretty. Just like his older boyfriend,” Minho nods his head, pointing at himself, earning protests from all of the others.

“Of course, of course” Chan agrees with Minho, looking up and down at the younger's blue, cat-print pajamas and this messy bed head.

The only one not laughing is Hyunjin, who has taken to staring at the maknae in awe. Noticing one of their boyfriends isn’t laughing along with them, the others quickly turn to Hyunjin, who startles out of his daze.

“He’s- Why? Why did you do this to me, IN-ah? I- you’re too hot. You’re so- You’re so cute. I like you so much!” Hyunjin rambles, making the others cackle while Jeongin waves a hand in front of the older boy’s face as he refuses to take his eyes off the maknae.

“Why are we all looking at- HOLY MOLY!” another voice shouts.

The others turn their attention to their other boyfriend, who has just walked in, and their eyes grow wide in surprise.

Jeongin turns around midway through Jisung’s question, making the other’s eyes widen as he sees Jeongin’s outfit.

“Are those abs? What the fuck! You look hot, Innie. Sexy as fuck. Give me a kiss,” Jisung says, hurrying over to the maknae.

“H- Hyung, you- your-,” Jeongin stutters back, his voice strained as he chokes on air.

“Oh, yeah,” Jisung chuckles, running a hand through his air. “I’m thinking about dying it back. Stays are always saying how they miss this color, so-”

“Is it permanent?” Minho screeches, his face flooding with color as his ears turn an even fiery color of red.

“Nope!” Jisung laughs. “Since I slept so early yesterday, I woke up before all of you and bought some of the spray on stuff.”

Minho just gapes back at him, his expression similar to everyone else's in the kitchen.

“Jisung-ah,” Jisung thinks Chan says, although it sounds more like a strangled choke than an actual word.

“Two in one day,” Hyunjin mutters, his brain unable to comprehend how the two of his boyfriends could look so damn hot.

Meanwhile, Jisung looks confused, running a hand through his hair, which was currently the striking color of a deep blue.

“Jisungie-hyung,” Jeongin yelps, finally coming back to his senses, his neck flushing as he takes in the sight.

“IN-ah?” Jisung asks, baffled before catching sight of the younger’s abs again.

“Fuck, Innie. You look gorgeous, have I ever told you that?”

Jeongin nods without saying a word before shaking his head to clear the daze he’s in.

“No, no, you- Hyung! Your hair!” Jeongin screams.

“Do you not like it?” Jisung asks nervously.

“FUCK, NO! YOU LOOK SEXY, HYUNG! JESUS CHRIST! ‘DO I NOT LIKE IT?’” Jeongin mocks, slapping Jisung as his face scrunches up in a glare.

“…Oh?” Jisung laughs, smirking at the maknae after getting over the shock of what he just said.

“You look sexy too, Innie,” he chuckles, hugging the youngest close before pulling away and turning to look at the others.

“Sungie’s- Sungie’s hot,” Felix says breathlessly, smiling widely at the older boy (by a day).

“God, Jisungie. You bastard! You look so fucking attractive right now,” Changbin groans in distress.

“Um- Sorry?” Jisung sputters, his cheeks lightly blushing.

“If you dye it permanently, Stay might die,” Hyunjin comments then adds in a smaller voice, “I might die too.”

Felix laughs, overhearing what he said and watches in amusement as Chan walks over to the two to hug both Jisung and Jeongin closely.

“You two look so pretty. This feels like the time when Minho wore that stupid wig,” Chan says, making Jisung borderline cackle.

“That ‘stupid’ wig made you drool over Minho-hyung for at least three days, Chan-hyung.” Jisung jokes.

“What?” Changbin huffs.

“Hyung’s never drooled over me. Maybe I need to wear glasses from our last performance. Stay said I looked amazing,” he continues, jokingly looking smug.

“You looked like a dork, hyung,” Hyunjin giggles.

“Isn’t ‘dork’ another way to say a whale’s-”

“FELIX!” Chan cuts him off immediately.

“You’re so mean, Hyunjinnie,” Changbin complains, pouting cutely before hitting him on the shoulder.

“Don’t hit him, Changbin-ah. You know he’s right.” Minho grins while Hyunjin lets out a pained yelp (even though Changbin didn’t actually hit that hard).

“I think Changbin-hyung looked hot. His Binsual,” Felix says, giggling at Changbin.

“He looked stupid,” Minho deadpans, laughing evilly before running out of the room in case Changbin tries to chase after him.

“Our piggy,” Jisung coos, walking over to Changbin to rub his belly.

“99% bunny, and 1% pig! I told you!” Changbin moans.

Seungmin laughs along with them, rubbing Changbin’s belly as well.

“Ah, piggy belly,” he teases affectionately, knowing fully how much muscle the older one has.

Chabgbin scoffs at that, moving away and out of the kitchen.

“You’re all mean to me,” he huffs, his voice breaking halfway through, putting his hand on his own stomach to feel it for himself.

“Are you going to go get your glasses, Binnie?” Chan snorts.

Changbin sulks, shooting all of them a look before turning and walking back down the hall to get ready for the day.

His fake pout immediately falls off his face as he brings his hands up to feel his cheeks. He knows he’s gained a few more pounds recently, but to him it didn’t matter as long as he was a healthy weight.

Changbin knew he was strong and muscular and normally he was fine with the members teasing remakes, but this time what they said had really hurt. In general, all the teasing made him feel loved and he would normally find most of their comments really funny. But recently, the members had been making fun of him a lot more and he wasn’t sure why.

Usually, Changbin would’ve been fine with them all teasing him. Their joking was a way the group showed their love for one another and it never failed to make Changbin feel happy. However, it has been getting a little too much lately. He knows they aren’t serious, but Changbin has been way too exhausted from work and on top of that, one of their managers had made similar comments to him just a few days ago, so a part of him is starting to believe that what they are saying is true.

Maybe he really is unattractive? He knows he was never the visual of the group and is not anywhere close to being the most beautiful member, but he has always thought all of the members were hot, including himself. Changbin changes in the bathroom, staring a bit too long in the mirror as his eyes trace over the features on his face. Did the members actually think he was ugly?
____________________________________________________________________________

“What the fuck happened to you today? You’re acting like a real asshole,” Minho states angrily after Changbin snaps at Felix for the third time since they’ve started eating at the kitchen table.

Jisung instantly agrees, “Yeah, hyung. We were all just joking around and now you-“

Changbin cuts him off.

Throughout the day, the comments had only gotten worse. Changbin had even asked them to stop multiple times, forcing a short laugh before telling them to knock it off or that he wasn’t in the mood. But after his joking comment on Stays liking the glasses he wore during their performance of DOMINO on Inkigayo, the others weren’t taking it seriously. By the end of practice, Changbin was fed up and when they finally got into the car to go home, he had snapped at almost all of the members.

Chan had pulled him briefly aside and asked if he was alright, to which Changbin had sighed loudly and asked if they could talk at home. The leader had smiled sympathetically and patted him on the shoulder, but Changbin could tell that he was just as frustrated at him for being so short-tempered with the others, especially after what had happened with Jisung just the day before.

Changbin rises to his feet instantly, the guilt from the way he had been acting dissipates as anger courses through him.

“Joking around? You guys are always fucking joking around,” he chuckles coldly.

“Making comments about my weight or my face or fuck- just making fun of me all the damn time. And I know! I know that usually the jokes don’t bother me. And I know that it takes a lot to get me mad. But sometimes-” he cuts off with an exasperated exhale and his voice dwindles down from shouting to practically a whisper as he looks at the ground.

“Sometimes it’s too much. It’s- I can’t-“ his voice cracks. “You guys are- you guys are supposed to...love me,” he says, his voice getting smaller and smaller as his words trail off at the end.

“We are all dating and I know- I know that you do. I know that you’re just joking. But you- you’re supposed to bring me up, not make me feel worse about myself,” he finishes.

Changbin immediately walks away from the table before any of the shocked members can stop him.

He goes straight to his room, flopping down onto the bottom bunk and curling up under his comforter. He lays there for a bit, emotionless as he stares up at the top of the bunk, before checking his phone for any messages.

Changbin clicks on his last conversation and sees his sister's contact. He lets out a sigh and turns on his body so he’s resting more comfortably before clicking the call button.

“Noona?”
____________________________________________________________________________

“Binnie? Can we come in now?” Chan’s voice calls from outside of the door.

The members had been quick to follow after Changbin, but after hearing him on the phone with his sister, they felt it best to leave him be for a while.

“Are you done talking to your sister, Changbinnie-ah?” Minho asks.

“Don’t come in,” Changbin calls back, his voice muffled by blankets. “I’ll come out! Just- Just gimme a minute.”

He rolls out of his mess of blankets and hurries over to the door, not wanting his boyfriends to wait too long.

As soon as it’s opened, Minho is grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers.

“Hyungie,” Hyunjin whines quietly, moving over to engulf Changbin in a hug before pulling away and taking his other hand.

Changbin lets them lead him to the couch before settling down.

“Do you want to lay down, Changbin-hyung?” Felix asks kindly.

Changbin shakes his head, avoiding eye contact as he shifts slightly to the side, his back leaning on the cushions behind him.

Seungmin is quick to claim the spot next to him, resting his head on Changbin’s lap.

Jisung gasps loudly, shoving past Felix to leap onto the couch, pulling a leg over Changbin’s own as he settles back into the best spot on the couch in his opinion.

Felix looks upset that Jisung got the seat not only right next to Changbin, but also at the corner of the couch.

“That’s my spot!” Jeongin gasps, equally as horrified as Felix at Jisung for taking the arguably best spot on the sofa.

“You weren’t sitting here,” Jisung shrugs.

Chan rolls his eyes, patting Jeongin on the back before lifting Seungmin’s legs to settle next to them, resting his head against Changbin’s shoulder after checking if it's okay.

The other four quickly hop onto the couch as well. Hyunjin drapes himself over Jisung, the upper half of his body completely laid back on the other, who pats his head absentmindedly. Then Minho sits at the end of the couch and Felix falls next to him while Jeongin leans against Felix’s chest with Hyunjin’s legs over his lap.

Minho takes a breath before scooting in closer to Felix and clasping their hands together, making the younger boy turn over to him and smile.

“We’re sorry for making fun of you, baby,” Seungmin says softly, turning his head to look up at their boyfriend, his eyes wide and sparkly in the dim lighting of the living room.

Changbin nods, “I know you guys were joking… it just got to be too much. And I tried telling you to stop, but you- you didn’t listen,” he replies quietly.

“Fuck, you were being serious?” Jisung exclaims in horror. “I'm so sorry, hyung. We all thought you were just saying that, not that you actually didn’t like it.”

Changbin laughs humorlessly.

“I thought you knew that I felt uncomfortable and just- didn’t care, I guess,” he admits.

“No, love, never. I'm so sorry we thought you were joking. We should’ve stopped immediately when you told us to knock it off,” Chan says, stroking Changbin’s cheek lightly.

“Yeah,” Changbin agrees in a whisper, his voice filled with sadness as he looks away from the older.

“We took it too far, hyung. We’re all so sorry,” Felix apologizes, his heart clenching painfully as he sees how much their words had hurt their boyfriend.

“Hyung, I love you!” Jeongin blurts out, a sheepish smile on his face as Changbin gapes in surprise.

“We all love you,” Chan adds, smiling at the maknae.

Jeongin had been trying to get the courage to tell the others that he loved them for a while now but every time he tried, he kept chickening out. He kept making the excuse that he wasn’t ready even though the youngest had known in his heart that he had loved his hyungs for a long time, even if he hadn’t realized it for a while. He was fine if the others didn’t feel that way yet. In fact, Jeongin was pretty sure most of them weren’t even close to being able to say those words. But that was okay. As long as they knew that he loved them, then he didn’t care how long it would take his boyfriends to say it back.

“And you’re not ugly,” Hyunjin says. “We can remind you as much as you need, but you aren’t, hyung. You’re beautiful and handsome and amazing.”

“And Changbin-hyung’s super cute,” Seungmin giggles.

“Thanks, but I know you guys didn’t mean what you said before,” Changbin laughs. “I feel better now.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s great,” Minho dismisses nonchalantly. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t remind you. You’re hot, Changbin-ah. And everyone knows it. We know it. Stay knows it. I know it.”

Changbin laughs but agrees nonetheless. Then he turns to Jisung, seeing him biting the inside of his cheek as he zones out.

“Sungie!” Changbin calls, gaining his attention as he pulls the other boy closer to his side.

“Yeah?” Jisung responds with a smile, his body now pressed against Changbin’s side while his chin sits on the older’s shoulder.

“I'm not mad at you- or any of the others, yeah?” Changbin checks.

The smile on Jisung’s face doesn’t falter as he nods. “I know, hyung.”

“Now, Jinnie, come closer. Jisungie didn’t get all our cuddles yesterday because he fell asleep too fast,” Changbin exclaims, gesturing wildly for the boy to scoot closer and making Jisung laugh loudly.

“It's true. Felix was so selfish…stealing our Jisung away like that,” Chan teases.

“Yah! What did I do?” Felix shouts, raising his and Minho's combined hands in protest.

“Oh, Jesus,” Changbin exclaims suddenly, making the others look at him in concern.

“I forgot how hot Jeongin looks right now.”

The other’s burst out laughing.

“And Jisung’s hair.'' Felix adds, admiring the two of them.

“Yeah, Sungie. You look so hot.” Changbin groans.

“You should dye it hyung,” Jeongin addresses Jisung. “It might bring me some comfort after the loss of Hyunjin-hyung’s long hair.”

“YAH! IT’S MY HAIR!”

Chapter Text

It was another late night for 3RACHA as they holed up in the recording studio, experimenting with the bridge on a song for their next album. By the time they had gotten home, it was late and the three members were exhausted. Halfway through the car ride back, Jisung had fallen asleep against Changbin’s chest and hadn’t woken up until Chan had to gently shake him when they arrived home.

Although they were exhausted and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep, the three felt satisfied with their work.

They had been trying to work out the bridge part for a while now. Chan had written most of the lyrics a while ago, but the bridge was proving hard for them and they had spent many nights for the past week, trying to perfect it.

They finally make it back to the dorms, a sleepy Jisung clinging onto the back of Chan as he lets out another yawn.

The oldest opens the door and shuffles the two of them inside. It has been fairly cold recently, so Chan can only hope that Jisung and Changbin have better immune systems than Minho and won’t get sick.

“Minnie?” Jisung’s voice startles the leader out of his thoughts, looking up as he quietly shuts the door and locks it.

“What are you still doing up, baby?” Jisung asks as Seungmin blinks up at him slowly from where his head is squashed up against the armrest of the sofa.

Chan peers through the darkness and sure enough, their boyfriend is lying on the couch. His cheek is puffy from sleeping on his side and his hair is a mess as he stretches his arms up.

They boy had evidently fallen asleep while waiting for the three on the sofa.

His boyfriends had been staying out later and later every night for work. Seungmin knew it wasn’t their fault and appreciated how hard they were working for Stray Kids, but it was still annoying that they couldn’t be home any sooner. He just doesn’t like waiting up or having to watch them work themselves to the point where they were too exhausted to function.

They’re all idols so it’s practically part of the job description to take minimal breaks and overwork themselves to get albums out faster and go on tours or have new comebacks as soon as possible. But Seungmin hates seeing how the lack of breaks affect his boyfriends.

All he wants is for his members to be healthy and taken care of. But his company doesn’t seem to understand that most of their fans just want them to be happy. That’s why over the years, Seungmin has grown even more grateful for Chan, who would always force the company to let them have days off or request for something to be changed so his members were more comfortable. He always puts them above anything else and has no trouble standing up for the group. That said, there are lots of things the leader does not have the authority to change. It isn’t his fault but Seungmin just wishes they didn’t have to work to the point of their mental health suffering just to get a track completed early or learn a dance as fast as possible.

And maybe Seungmin is just grumpy because he’s so tired, but he honestly just misses his boyfriends. Yes, he wishes the company allowed them more breaks. Yes, he wishes none of his members would overwork themselves. Yes, he wishes Chan would actually get some rest some rights. But truthfully, he mostly misses his boyfriends and spending time with them.

It has been a while since they all got to be together. And Chan, Changbin, and Jisung taking so long to get back at night is just icing on the cake.

“C’mon, love. Let’s get you into bed,” Chan says gently after Seungmin hears Changbin and Jisung whisper quietly to one another.

He nods wordlessly, too tired to get his lips to open in response.

Chan smiles lightly back at him, kneeling down to Seungmin’s level and wrapping his arms around his waist.

The leader hoists him up and Seungmin feels too tired to even protest. Then, he’s walking down the hall as the younger’s head falls forward against his chest, keeping them balanced as they move.

Chan places him into his bed and pulls up the covers, tucking them under Seungmin’s chin. Then the oldest is turning to Jisung and Changbin, who are loitering by the door, with wide eyes as he hears both Hyunjin and Minho talking one after the other in their sleep.

Jisung stifles a giggle while Changbin whispers in horror, “Are they communicating with each other?”

As the two quietly laugh, Chan presses his lips against Seungmin’s forehead for a few seconds. He’s used to taking care of his boyfriends like this and even though Chan is beyond exhausted at this point, getting to care for them never fails to bring a small smile to his face.

Even before getting together, Stray Kids were always very comfortable around one another. After their debut, Felix would often take showers with whoever offered. He found comfort in being around his friends as they would sing loudly together in the shower, laughing as they smeared soap on each other's faces to make mustaches and unibrows. Hyunjin too would request someone to join him in the shower when he was feeling down for long hugs as they rinsed and washed each other’s hair before getting out.

And sleeping in the same beds had become a constant habit even before they debuted as a group. Felix was often a culprit of sneaking into someone else’s bed and cuddling up to them after deep talks. And Jisung and Changbin were often caught waking up in a bed that wasn’t theirs after spending a night snuggled up to one of the other members. Chan also loved hugging people to sleep. And Seungmin had a rising suspicion that cuddling one of their boyfriends was the only way Chan could actually get a decent night’s rest.

By now, it was totally normal for them to take care of each other whether it meant showing together, cuddling each other to sleep, or helping one of their tired boyfriends get changed and into bed after an exhausting day of practice.
___________________________________________________________________________

Last night, Chan had not come home from the company. It was not the first time the leader had stayed late, promptly lost track of time, and either ended up working the whole night or fell asleep on the couch in the room.

Seungmin had waited for him on the couch, just like he had the night before for him, Changbin, and Jisung, but the leader never came home.

Now, it is the next afternoon and Seungmin is perched on the couch, Day6 playing loudly on the television to drown out his thoughts as he waits for three of his boyfriends to get home.

About an hour ago, Seungmin had arrived at the dorms to an empty house. 3RACHA were in the studio and Hyunjin and Jeongin, who had vocal practice an hour earlier than Seungmin, had been called in by Minho to help him and Felix with some choreography.

Seungmin had sat in silence for a while, uncomfortably laying on his bed as he tried to sleep off the exhaustion that hung over him from staying up the night before. But after tossing and turning with no promise of getting any sleep, he finally decided to simply wait on the couch for the others to return home.

Now Seungmin is always one to think rationally about things and has been known to have a strong mentality, but whether it be the lack of sleep or lack of seeing his boyfriends in a while, he finds anxiety washing over him. ‘Why isn’t anyone home yet?’ he thinks to himself ‘I didn’t even see Channie-hyung today and the others left right after breakfast.’

Seungmin takes a deep breath, humming along to the Day6 song playing on YouTube from the television as he tries to calm his nerves.

He takes steady breaths, inhaling and holding before exhaling deeply. Soon the song switches to another one on his playlist.

The sound of Jisung’s voice makes Seungmin gasp and a pained yelp leaves his throat as he scrambles up to change the song, the sound of his members' voices making him feel even more alone. His heart clenches painfully as he feels tears prickling at his eyes. ‘Where are they? Why aren’t his boyfriends home already?’

Finally giving up on keeping his cool, Seungmin picks up his phone and dials Felix’s number. The call goes straight to voicemail so Seungmin tries again, this time with Minho. When that call doesn’t go through either, Seungmin takes a calming breath as he brings his knees up to his chest on the couch.

It made sense that they weren’t picking up. They were most likely still in one of the practice rooms, dancing at this very moment. And here Seungmin was, expecting them to pick up the phone when they were busy.

His shaky hands go to grab a blanket off to the side and he pulls it tightly around himself, hoping the pressure will make him feel more secure and lessen his anxiety.

He quickly decides to call Chan too despite knowing that if the older is currently working, he most likely won’t see his call. The call again gets forwarded to voicemail, only serving to make Seungmin feel worse.

He knows he can’t call Changbin and Jisung either because they’re both prone to forgetting to respond to messages. Desperately, Seungmin tries calling Chan again, not even sure what he wants to tell or ask them if he did end up picking up.

He expects his call to go unanswered again only this time Changbin happens to glace over and see the leader’s phone light up.

Changbin smiles happily and is quick to press the “answer” button almost immediately after Seungmin calls.

“Hey, Seungmin-ah! Do you need something?” Changbin sings, immediately making the other two boyfriends in the room smile at the idea of Seungmin being on the other line.

Seungmin takes a gulp of air, a flood of relief hitting him as soon as Changbin’s voice comes through the other end of the call.

“Y- Yeah, hyung. I was wondering when you and Channie-hyung and Jisung-ah would be home from the company. None of the others picked up my call,” he replies, chuckling awkwardly as though his heart doesn’t twist up at the memory of the other four not picking up the phone when he called.

He knows it’s not their fault and that he just misses them, but can’t stop himself from getting easily upset by them not replying.

“Um- I’m not sure, Seungminnie. We have a lot to work on. And I think the others are in the studio. I know Minho-hyung asked Jeongin and Hyunjin-ah to come after their schedule to help. Do you-,” Changbin interrupts his train of thought when Jisung launches himself at him and tries to steal the phone away.

“HEY, STOP! Ji- I’m- YAH! IM TALKING TO SEUNGMIN-AH! LET ME SPEAK TO MY BOYFRIEND IN PEACE!” is all Seungmin hears from the other side of the phone.

“I- I’m sorry, Seungminnie,” Changbin finally grunts out, eventually managing to wrestle the phone away from Jisung’s grasp.

“It’s okay,” the other quickly replies, forcing a short laugh at their antics as his legs begin bouncing sporadically on the ground.

“Do you need us to come home earlier, Seungmin-ah? You usually text not call,” Changbin questions, sounding concerned.

It was true. Seungmin was the only one out of all of them who preferred texting over calling.

“Ah, no. It’s fine, hyung,” Seungmin says, biting his lip as he tries to keep his voice steady.

“You sure you’re okay, puppy?”

The pet name breaks something inside Seungmin, his bottom lip wobbling dangerously as he shifts anxiously on the couch, one of his hands letting go of the blanket to punch his leg repeatedly.

“Yeah, hyung,” Seungmin says before wincing at how strained and unnatural his voice comes out.

The line goes silent for a short while as Seungmin stares at the black TV screen, waiting for a reply.

Finally Changbin finally speaks.

“We’re coming home. Be there in ten.”

Then the line goes silent.
___________________________________________________________________________

“Oh, Seungmin-ah,” Changbin says sympathetically as he enters the dorms, seeing the boy sitting on the couch, wrapped up tightly in a blue blanket.

The other looks up from the sofa, one leg folded underneath him while the other hangs down to the floor. One of his hand holds the blanket tightly around himself while the other is curled in a fist, unconsciously hitting his thigh.

Changbin quickly goes over to him, bringing his boyfriend up from the couch and pulling him into his arms.

“This okay?” the older boy asks softly, wanting to check if his boyfriend is comfortable with the sudden affection.

He receives a nod in response as Seungmin reciprocates by wrapping his arms around Changbin as well.

In the older’s embrace, he can feel the warmth from Changbin’s breaths against his cheek as his boyfriend squeezes Seungmin's shoulders tightly, fully embracing the younger in his strong arms.

Normally Seungmin wouldn’t be so willing to receive affection like this. Physical touch had never been his favorite but now he wants Changbin as close as possible even if that means more skinship than he’s usually comfortable with.

“Love, are you doing okay? Do you want to tell hyung what’s going on in that head of yours?” Chan asks softly, caressing the back of Seungmin’s head as he whispers gently in his ears.

“H- Hyung, why weren’t you home last night?” Seungmin asks instead, his voice cracking as he questions the older even though he already knows the answer.

“Shit,” Chan curses, his eyes opening in realization. “Fuck- I’m so sorry, love, did you- did you wait up for me?”

Seungmin nods his head in response, pressing himself closer to Changbin to feel his breaths fan out more against his cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Minnie. I was working and I just wanted to finish that one- that one section and I lost track of- And God, Bin, Jisung, and I were late the other day too. Multiple days! We’ve been coming home so late at night and you’re always there on the couch,” Chan says in a horrified voice.

Everyone knew that Seungmin always needed to see all the members before bed. At first they hadn’t even realized it because the boy would often disguise it as coming to annoy them with a random sound or just to stare then walk away while laughing. It took a while to notice but there was a day when Seungmin had gotten a call that his sister was in the hospital. Their boyfriend had never explained what had happened, but luckily his sister felt better the next day and was allowed to leave mid-afternoon. However, the night after getting that call, Seungmin had gone about his nightly routine of going to each of the rooms to “bother” his members. Only this time, the boy didn’t make any random noises or go in to annoy Jeongin, but simply walked softly into their rooms in silence to personally say goodnight to each and every one of them.

From that day on, the members had realized the real reason behind Seungmin’s late night prowling as Hyunjin called it.

The boy simply took comfort in seeing each of them before he went off to sleep. Whether it was to check in on them or to make sure they were all there or something else entirely, the members weren’t sure. But they all made a point to try their best to be home at a reasonable time so Seungmin could come say goodnight and then head off to bed without complaint.

“Oh. Oh, Seungmin-ah. We’re so sorry for coming so late this past week. I wasn’t thinking, baby, I’m so-,” Jisung is quick to apologize.

“I don’t really care. You’re here now,” Seungmin murmurs back.

“How can we make it up to you? Hm, puppy?” Changbin hums.

Seungmin flushes at the nickname. It’s both endearing and a little annoying that the others compare him to a dog. But he can’t deny that when Changbin says it, the pet name sounds so sweet and kind.

He doesn’t feel like saying anything so simply points to the couch. Jisung gets the idea and settles himself down on the cushion before reaching his hands back to gently pull Seungmin out of Changbin’s arms and backward onto the sofa.

“Careful, baby,” Jisung mutters as Seungmin shifts his position so that Jisung is laying flat against the couch and he is laying sideways on top of him.

“I texted the rest before we left the company to be home as soon as they check their messages. Do you want to rest while Changbin-ah helps me make dinner?” Chan offers, earning a glare and pursed lips from Changbin.

Seungmin makes a small sound of affirmation as he focuses on adjusting his position on top of his boyfriend.

Jisung wraps his arms around Seungmin when he finally stills and looks in confusion at how Seungmin has placed himself on top of him before he understands.

Seungmin has shifted himself so that he is laying on Jisung’s chest with his ear pressed against Jisung’s heart.

The younger’s eyes slowly close as he succumbs to sleep, the steady rhythm of Jisung’s heartbeat lulling him to sleep as the tiredness from having gotten no sleep the night before hits him full force.

“What’s he doing?” Changbin quietly asks.

“Listening to my heartbeat,” Jisung responds in amazement, guilt washing over him as he brings Seungmin’s left arm up to place right next to his face, which makes his boyfriend sigh in content as he drifts asleep.
___________________________________________________________________________

Seungmin wakes up for dinner and after a nap and some food, he can confidently say that he is feeling much better.

He has settled onto the couch after his three boyfriends insisted on washing the dishes and keeping the food heated for the others so Seungmin could relax. Before he knows it, there’s a sound of a key turning and the other members shuffle inside the dorms.

Seungmin goes up to them with a bright smile, making the worried expression on Felix and Hyunjin’s faces immediately melt away. Chan had only told them to come home as soon as they could so they had been a bit worried if everything was okay with the others.

The only one not looking relieved is the youngest, who appears in a foul mood as he toes off his shoes at the entrance.

“Innie, are you not happy to see me?” Seungmin says, going over to bump his shoulder against the younger’s to annoy him.

Jeongin, on the other hand, is not finding his playful teasing funny and is quick to push him back.

“Not now, hyung,” the maknae grumbles, his eyes distant as he walks straight past Seungmin and down the hall.

Seungmin’s whole body freezes as Jeongin brushes past him, his face falling as he stands in shock. Felix is quick to notice the odd behavior and pulls him into a hug.

Seungmin doesn’t even bother to hug Felix back, letting his head drop as he squeezes his eyes shut.

His chest is constricting painfully as a wave of emotion passes over him in seconds.

Felix is surprised when he feels warm teardrops splatter onto his shoulder seconds later.

He pulls back from Seungmin and sees the younger boy’s face scrunch up unpleasantly as he turns away, the tears endlessly streaming down his face. Then Seungmin’s expression crumbles and he is turning back in Felix’s direction as his head turns downwards and he takes in a shallow breath.

It’s rare to see Seungmin cry, which is why it hurts so much to witness when he does. The boy’s face always twists up as if he’s in pain and the tears are infinite streams running down his cheeks. But the most distressing thing about watching Seungmin cry is that he makes no noise. Whenever he would cry, soundless sobs would wrack Seungmin’s body and yet he would never make a sound.

“Seungmin-ah?” Hyunjin calls in worry.

“Fuck. You’re okay. You’re okay. What do you need?” Felix reassures as the tears continue to fall.

“I just want-…a hug,” Seungmin chokes out, straining his vocal chords as his face tilts up to the ceiling.

Felix is quick to pull him back in with Hyunjin immediately joining the hug and Minho worriedly going to fetch Chan, Changbin, and Jisung from the kitchen.

Seungmin clings back onto them, his body shaking.

A minute later, Minho rushes back in with the other three trailing behind. Chan places his hand gently on Felix’s back and the other on Hyunjin’s to get them to pull away. Once they’ve hesitantly unwrapped their arms from Seungmin, the leader is quickly pulling his younger boyfriend into his arms and leading him over to the couch.

Hyunjin hops onto the couch immediately and reacheshis hands out for Seungmin.

Their boyfriend is soon placed on top of Hyunjin’s lap as he continues to cry. Seungmin tries to push the older down flat again and Jisung hurriedly explains what he’s trying to do as Hyunjin resists in confusion.

Once Seungmin has gotten situated on Hyunjin’s chest, relief hits him squarely in the chest as he hears Hyunjin’s heart beating steadily. The rhythmic beating calms Seungmin down completely as he slumps against Hyunjin.

“Minnie, baby, can you tell us what happened. As much as I love giving you hugs, I know skinship isn’t your favorite thing ever,” Felix asks softly as him and the others gather around the couch.

“I just- Just miss you. I don’t care if you get really busy. Or you’re tired and don’t want to talk or go places with me. I don’t care if you come home late at night. I just want you to come home,” Seungmin emphasizes, quickly reaching out for Chan’s hand as if he can sense the guilt the leader feels for making Seungmin upset.

“I just want- want you here. Even if it’s just relaxing together in silence. I want to be- to be close to you. Just- I miss you. I like you a lot so just- come home to me please,” he admits, his voice losing its volume halfway through as embrasement roots itself in his chest.

Before anyone can say anything, a voice is interrupting.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Jeongin calls from the doorway of the living room, looking guilty as he shuffles in from the hallway.

Seungmin shakes his head. He doesn’t care about that now.

“Are you okay?” Seungmin asks, nothing but concern on his face as he checks in with the youngest.

“I feel okay, hyungie,” Jeongin reassures him, smiling unsurely.

Seungmin nods in understanding before motioning Jeongin to get onto the couch.

“Ah, wait! Let me get some water,” Seungmin cries, leaping up from the couch.

Just because he’s feeling down does not mean Seungmin is not going take care of himself. He quickly goes into the kitchen and greedily sips on some water, not wanting his singing to suffer the next day due to him crying the night before.

When he comes back, he finds all the members have comfortably settled onto the couch except Changbin who is scrolling through Netflix to find something for them to watch.

He had almost forgotten. ‘It’s Friday movie night!’ Seungmin cheers to himself in his head. He smiles happily and is quick to bound over to the other members.

“My spot!” he exclaims, laying directly over Felix and Hyunjin with his face on Jeongin’s lap.

Felix lets out a groan at the sudden weight and Hyunjin giggles, holding onto Seungin’s waist so the boy doesn’t fall off by accident.

Jisung filters out the others who are arguing over which movie to watch and turns towards the maknae who sits next to him, gently running his fingers through Seungmin’s hair.

“Are you sure you’re fine, Innie?” he questions softly so the others can’t hear, then leans in close to the younger.

Jeongin almost flinches at how suddenly Jisung’s face is right in front of his own, but before he can show his surprise, Jisung is pulling him into a firm kiss. Jisung sighs into the maknae’s mouth before pulling away.

“I’ll be okay, hyung,” Jeongin mutters back, smiling at Jisung before prompting his boyfriend to lean against his shoulder.

Jisung complies in an instant.

“THAT'S IT! WE’RE WATCHING THIS ONE AND I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE COMPLAINING!” Changbin yells, almost immediately hearing protests from everyone in the room.

“Changbin-hyung, I thought-”

“Wait, no! I wanted-”

“CHANGBIN-HYUNG!”

“Changbin-ah, Minho and I wanted to watch-”

“I’m pressing play,” Changbin says decidedly, ignoring all the yelling and grumbling about wanting a different movie.

He turns around to see Seungmin still laying peacefully on top of the majority of his boyfriends except Chan and Minho, who lay to the side next to Hyunjin.

He grins evilly and rushes over to them, clapping his hands in joy before carefully (not so carefully) crawling on top of them and laying down directly on top of Seungmin.

“HYUNG!” someone screeches, probably Seungmin before Changbin is letting his full weight drop on top of them.

This earns a chorus of groans and a slap from Hyunjin, who Changbin was dangerously close to hitting with his feet.

“Get off, hyung,” Jeongin yelps, attempting to push the boy off.

Changbin only hums in content, finally leaning back a bit so that he and Seungmin are chest to chest. This makes Seungmin huff, but nonetheless the younger moves in closer to Changbin, turning so he can face the television while having his head placed near his older boyfriend’s heart.

This proves to be good enough for Felix, Hyunjin, and Jeongin as they finally melt back against the couch, each making a point to hold onto some part of the two boys sprawled over them so they don’t end up falling off the couch. Jisung smiles at the sight, picking up Jeongin’s hand that isn’t occupied with threading through Seungmin’s hair and begins playing with his fingers absentmindedly as the movie starts.

On the opposite end of the couch, Minho is cuddled up into Chan’s chest, barely even paying attention to the movie as he sits halfway on Chan and halfway on the couch. He closes his eyes, practically falling asleep despite only being a quarter of the way through the movie as Chan rubs circles on his stomach with his palm.

“Channie-hyung, could you get me some more water? I finished mine and Changbin-hyung won’t let me leave,” Seungmin calls quietly as he attempts in vain to evade the grasp Changbin has on him.

“No, puppy,” Changbin slurs in his sleep, tightening his embrace further.

Almost immediately after the movie started playing, Changbin had fallen asleep. Him, Jisung, and Chan had been working so late into the night lately that he hadn’t had a lot of time to sleep at night. And Seungmin was just as warm as his electric blanket so who could blame him if he fell asleep so soon.

The leader laughs, looking over at the sleeping Changbin before complying. He shoves Minho off a bit and quickly walks towards the kitchen.

Being right next to him now, Hyunjin hears Minho let out the tiniest whine. His eyes widen as he shifts closer to Minho, the words almost instantly dying on his lips as he watches in confusion as the older boy curls into his body now with his eyes closed.

Hyunjin looks on in astonishment at the boy tucked up against his side but chooses not to think too much on it because right now, it’s time to focus on Seungmin.

“Pause the movie. I forgot some of you haven’t eaten yet,” Chan raises his voice from the kitchen, walking back into the living room with plates of steaming food.

Hyunjin quickly grabs the remote before flinching and dropping it as soon as Jisung starts yelling.

“DON’T LET JINNIE USE THE REMOTE! It’s too much for him to handle! He can’t do it right. Give it to Felix.”

“I at least know how to pause it, Sungie!” Hyunjin protests as the remote is wrenched from his grasp by Seungmin and given to Felix.

“I just…don’t know if I can trust you with that responsibility yet. We’ll- We’ll work our way up, okay?,” Jisung says solemnly, getting up to pat Hyunjin on the shoulder, who glares back at him.

Soon a disgruntled-looking Minho and grumpy-looking Changbin are being woken up and they all begin to eat on the couch.

“Innie. One bite,” Felix pleads in English once he’s finished his own plate.

Jeongin complies easily, preparing a bite for Felix before feeding it to him.

“T’ank ‘ou,” Feix says around a mouthful of food, making the younger snort.

“Jisung,” Hyunjin sings, turning around to give the boy a piece of his food that Jisung had been eyeing for a while now.

“It’s so good,” Jisung moans softly.

“We ate the same thing an hour ago, Sung,” Chan laughs.

“Dumbass,” Minho grumbles, chuckling when Jisung curses at him under his breath.

“Seungmin-ah,” Minho whines, pointing at his food then to his mouth again.

The boy sighs but picks up the food with his chopsticks and feeds Minho, who hums contentedly at the delicious taste.

“Can’t believe Chan-hyung and Binnie made this,” Minho remarks, turning around to feed Changbin before he can retort.

“Yah! That’s-,” Changbin quickly swallows down the food.

“I CAN COOK!”

“Sure you can. Remember that time when Chan-hyung had to peel your egg for you and then that other time when you almost blew up the microwa-,” Jisung mentions.

“THAT WAS ONE TIME! AND I WAS TIRE-,” Changbin gets cut off when Minho shoves another mouthful of food down his throat.

“F- F’ck ‘ou, h’ung,”

“Did you guys hear something?” Minho asks as everyone giggles, including Changbin, who laughs so hard he almost chokes on his food.

Chapter Text

Around four in the afternoon, Minho sits on Seungmin’s bed, playing with a stuffed animal. A stuffed animal cat, more specifically.

Everyone is either at the studio or running other errands, so it is just Minho left in the house.

The boy settles on top of his younger boyfriend's bed with his foot tucked under one leg and the other sprawled out to his side. He sits, giggling, while he animatedly plays with his stuffed animal.

Whenever Minho is alone like this, he always ends up seated on one of his boyfriends’ beds. He likes pretending they are there with him and often enjoys curling up in their blankets and burying his head into their pillows, pretending they are giving him a big hug when he’s lonely. He especially loves Chan’s pillow because the older’s pillow smells exactly like his vanilla-raspberry three-in-one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash.

Minho had gotten home around a half-hour ago and arrived to an empty house.

Jisung, Chan, and Changbin were all at the studio, currently producing a song for their next album. Hyunjin and Jeongin were on grocery duty, which surprisingly took an exceedingly long amount of time, so they wouldn’t be back for a while. Felix had gone on a walk to call his parents, which also tended to take a while as the boy always liked to talk and check in with his sisters. Lastly, Seungmin had guitar practice.

When Minho had arrived home, he decided to try his luck with taking a nap to pass the time until the rest of them got home. This unsurprisingly ended in him waking up in a panic due to yet another nightmare.

He has been so stressed lately and has had very little time to himself to relax so it wasn’t a surprise that the nightmares only seemed to increase, every night becoming more and more vivid and becoming harder and harder for him to register when he wakes up that he is safe in the dorms and not someplace else.

Once Minho had fully calmed down from his nightmare, he was still feeling stressed and on edge.

Although he liked to pretend that they didn’t bother him, Minho had always hated nightmares. Everyone in the dorms did after having to witness Chan and Felix waking up with tears streaming down their faces and panicked breathing after having nightmares that occurred far too many times.

So to say the boy was a bit shaken up was an understatement.

After periodically zoning out and blinking repeatedly to get himself to focus back on the present, Minho finally decides to give into the fuzzy feeling.

He lets himself slip into the feeling, letting his mind relax as his worries slip away.

Minho is quick to scamper off his bed and onto his knees, blindly reaching underneath the bunkbed and running his hand along the bottom until he feels a piece of fabric tucked under one of the wood panels. He quickly yanks at the cloth until it tugs free and then plops down onto his bum to open the tiny bundle.

Once he has gotten the knots untied after a little (a lot) of struggle, Minho happily pulls out his stuffed animal before migrating over to Seungmin’s bed to play.

As he sits with his stuffie, unbeknownst to him, Seungmin has entered the dorms.

His teacher had canceled last minute, so he had gotten to the company, only to receive a text (sent seven minutes ago), saying their lesson had to be postponed.

Seungmin had grumbled all the way back to the dorms but understood why the guitar lessons needed to be moved to another date.

The front door opens and Seungmin steps into the house, calling out to see if anyone is home. When no one responds, Seungmin is a little surprised. He thought at least Felix or Minho would’ve arrived back by now, but shrugs it off and steps inside.

Meanwhile, Minho is still blissfully unaware of the other's presence in the dorms, too involved with playing on Seungmin’s bed.

After the younger takes his shoes off and places them over to the side, he sets his guitar case on the couch and heads to his room to lay down for a bit before his boyfriends get home. He walks down the hallway to his room and doesn’t even register the muffled sound of a voice coming from inside.

As soon as he steps in, his mouth parts in a gasp and his eyebrows rise at the scene before him. The only words he hears Minho say are: “...Pway pwincess with Min an’-,” before his boyfriend cuts himself off and stares in shock at Seungmin, finally noticing the bedroom door had been opened.

Minho’s eyes widen and the warm, fuzzy feeling immediately dissipates. His heart rate spikes as he looks back at Seungmin in horror, tensing when the younger looks down at the abandoned stuffed animal laying on the bed.

Seungmin watches as Minho lets out a small squeak and rushes to hide the cat behind his back.

He would’ve laughed if he weren’t still frozen in a state of shock at seeing his older boyfriend playing with a cat stuffie while sitting on his bed nonetheless.

“I uh- W- what are you d- doing at home so early?” Minho questions, his voice shaky and weak as he sits up more on the bed to look over at the other.

Seungmin flounders for a little bit, mouth opening and closing, still trying to process what he walked in on.

“Um...Oh! My uh- my lessons were canceled.”

Minho nods at his words, looking down and playing with the bedsheets nervously with his hands.

“And what are you doing home? You didn’t respond when I asked if anyone was here,” Seungmin shoots back, staring at Minho curiously.

“I was- I was busy,” Minho huffs, looking up at Seungmin with a blank stare.

“Yeah,” the younger agrees with a laugh. “Seemed like it.”

Minho’s face burns and he can feel the unease making his stomach flip.

Seungmin closes the door and shuffles in further, grinning because a flustered Minho is the best Minho. (That’s why Minho is his favorite boyfriend to tease. It’s cute how shy he gets and also just fun to playfully tease each other back and forth.)

“Were you playing dress-up with your kitten, hyung? You never told us you liked playing with stuffed animals and it seemed like you were having a lot of fun,” he says, laughing loudly and not picking up on the flash of hurt that passes over Minho’s face.

“Shut up!”

Seungmin steps back in surprise at the look of anger on Minho’s face as the older leaps off the bed and heads to the door.

He can see how hard his boyfriend is gripping onto the stuffed cat and immediately feels a wave of guilt pass through him.

Minho was obviously embarrassed and teasing him at that moment probably wasn’t the best thing he could’ve done. His intention wasn’t to make his boyfriend upset at all. And obviously, Seungmin had no problem with Minho playing with his stuffie on his bed. In fact, it was kind of cute, even though he was a bit confused by what he saw when he came in.

In an instant, Seungmin is rushing over to the entrance of the room, pressing his back against the door before Minho gets there and blocking the other's exit.

“Get out of my way, Seungmin-ah,” Minho bites out coldly.

Minho has never felt so ashamed and embarrassed in his life. ‘They weren’t supposed to find out this way. They weren’t supposed to see him like this. They weren’t supposed to find out about this at all,’ he repeats in his head.

But now, his embarrassment has morphed into anger and annoyance at Seungmin’s teasing.

He knows the younger is just joking and doesn’t actually mean to offend him, but the words still hurt. And Minho feels disgusted with himself all over again.

“Wait- Hyung, wait! I’m sorry! I was just teasing, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Seungmin apologizes, staring into Minho’s eyes.

The older can tell just by the tone of his voice that Seungmin genuinely felt bad. He continues fiddling with the plushie in his arms before sighing.

“It’s fine,” he mumbles.

Seungmin nods, stepping away from the door a bit. He can’t tell if Minho has fully forgiven him or not, but he wants to make sure the older knows that he wasn’t trying to make fun of him.

“What’s your- stuffed animal's name?” he softly inquires the older.

Minho looks at him curiously.

“Hae,” the older boy answers after a long pause.

Seungmin sees the way Minho’s eyes soften when telling him the name of the stuffed cat in his arms. And when the older boy looks down at the small kitten, Minho’s face relaxes and has this childish innocence about him. Seungmin has never seen Minho look so carefree and adorable and he can’t stop the smile on his face at seeing the soft look that his boyfriend gives the small kitten. It’s cute how fond he is of the stuffed animal.

However, before he can ask any more questions, Minho has slipped past him and out of the door.

Seungmin stays frozen where he stands, looking down at the floor, still trying to process that strange interaction.

Before he can get too lost in thought, Minho’s head peaks in through the door once again.

“You- Don't tell anyone,” he says, slightly narrowing his eyes at Seungmin from his spot in the doorway.

Seungmin furrows his brow.

“You know they won’t mind, hyung.”

Minho hesitantly nods and Seungmin thinks the older might leave again, but he stands still.

“Changbin-hyung literally refuses to sleep without Gyu. They really wouldn’t mind that you like playing with stuffed animals,” the younger decides to add, feeling some concern for his hyung rise in his chest.

‘Does he really think they would judge him for playing with stuffed animals? Poke fun at him? Yes. Tease him a bunch? Yes. But actually make fun of Minho-hyung and not be okay with him having his stuffie and liking to play with it? No. They all have different coping mechanisms and if this is his, then there’s nothing wrong with that.’

Now, Seungmin is still slightly confused about the whole ordeal. And does want to know more about the way Minho was playing with the cat when he walked in and the manner in which he was speaking. But that doesn’t mean he’s uncomfortable with it. Seeing his boyfriend all soft and giggly, laying on his bed while playing with a stuffed animal, was honestly adorable.

And he hopes Minho will feel comfortable to not hide stuff like that from them. Who cares if he likes playing with stuffed animals? All of their boyfriends are extremely accepting and Seungmin knows for a fact that they would never mind Minho playing with children’s toys. Besides, stuffed animals are for all ages, not just kids.

The younger boy is torn from his thoughts when Minho speaks up again.

“I don’t want them to make fun of me.”

Seungmin’s head snaps up to stare at Minho. The other’s words are quiet and Seungmin can tell he’s trying to keep the hurt and insecurity out of his voice.

But before he can respond, Minho is already gone, leaving the door shut behind him.

Seungmin hears the shower start up after a few minutes and lets out a sigh. What wasn’t Minho telling them?
____________________________________________________________________________

The steam curls around his body and fogs up the mirror while Minho sits on the ground, curled into a ball on the bathroom floor.

He’s glad Seungmin usually cleans the bathroom for them and that everybody keeps their dorms somewhat clean. ‘Minus Jisung,’ he thinks to himself. ‘He doesn’t do shit to keep the dorms clean.’

Minho can feel his heart pounding in his chest. He can hear the thumping of his heartbeat louder than anything else at the moment.

He can’t believe Seungmin saw him like that.

He knows the younger won’t tell the others if he doesn’t want him to. No matter how much they tease and torment each other, his boyfriend would never intentionally hurt him or do something he wouldn’t like.

And Minho is grateful for the fact that it was at least Seungmin who had found him. Because Seungmin isn’t one to pry. He would never force anybody to tell him something if they really didn’t want to.

However, Seungmin still saw a part of himself that Minho hasn’t shown to anyone before or ever wanted anyone else to see. Even though the younger boy was accepting and reassured Minho that no one would mind despite his obvious confusion, Seungmin didn’t know everything. He didn’t know that it wasn’t just Minho playing with a stuffed animal. He didn’t know that it was more than that.

Minho sighs, deciding to distract himself from the thoughts plaguing his mind by hopping into the shower. Besides, maybe the warm water will somehow wash away the sickening feeling curling in his chest and lessen the effects of forcing himself out of that headspace so abruptly.
____________________________________________________________________________

Later in the evening, after they’ve all sat down to a nice dinner (not counting the time when Jeongin had catapulted ice at Felix and it had accidentally hit Changbin, resulting in the maknae being chased around the living room with an angry Changbin following close at his heels), Seungmin strolls into Minho’s room.

The others are either out in the living room or still talking in the kitchen, some waiting to use the shower once Jeongin gets out.

“Hey,” Seungmin speaks softly, stepping further into their shared room.

Minho hums in response, not bothering to look up from his phone as he lounges on his bed, the curtain fully open.

Seungmin takes this as permission to slip into Minho’s bed alongside the other.

He settles in next to Minho on top of the bedsheets and the older boy lightly places his head on Seungmin’s shoulder, not too much contact but just the right amount for the two of them.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence and Minho scrolling through cat videos on his phone, Seungmin finally speaks up.

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier, hyung,” he apologizes, scooting in the tiniest bit closer to his boyfriend.

Minho lets out another hum and nuzzles the back of his head against Seungmin’s shoulder to show he’s heard him before going back to watching his videos.

Seungmin softly smiles and pulls out the book he had been reading on the couch earlier, opening it to the chapter he left off on and relaxing back onto the bed with Minho.

They sit in silence for a while, their bodies far enough apart to not touch but Minho’s head stays settled on the top of Seungmin’s shoulder.

After a while of reading, a small sound interrupts Seungmin’s focus. The sound is so soft that Seungmin completely disregards it at first, going back to his book.

However, a short while later, he hears the same noise again.

Seungmin glances around confused until he hears Minho let out a tiny sigh and shift slightly closer beside him.

The younger looks down at him, only to find the older has dozed off completely, his phone sitting on his chest playing a loop of the video Minho had fallen asleep watching. However, not only has he fallen asleep, but Minho’s thumb has somehow migrated into his mouth and he is lightly sucking on it.

Seungmin looks in bewilderment down at the sleeping boy before smiling softly at how calm and relaxed his boyfriend looks right now and returning back to his book.
____________________________________________________________________________

A little while later, Jisung bursts into their shared room.

“Have any of you guys seen my charger? I'm ninety percent sure Hyunjin took it, but I’m-“

Seungmin immediately cuts his rambling off.

“Shut it! Hyung is sleeping, Sungie,” he shushes quietly.

Jisung lets out a silent, drawn-out, “Oh” before shuffling in closer to the pair.

Seungmin glances down at the boy using his shoulder as a pillow and sees his eyes fluttering, then slightly opening and looking up at him.

“It’s okay, Minho-hyung. Go back to sleep, baby,” he says gently.

By now, Jisung is intrigued.

Of course, the 00’ line all have a habit of using the term “baby” excessively, especially a certain Han Jisung. So it’s not abnormal to hear Seungmin referring to one of them that way, however, the boy rarely looks at any of them so affectionately. Although Jisung has caught him staring lovingly at one of their other boyfriends more than a handful of times (much to his delight), it was rare to see Seungmin looking so soft. Obviously to Jisung, Seungmin was always an adorable baby, but the boy usually denied such allegations.

The younger boy doesn’t pay Jisung any mind, instead smiling down at Minho when the boy sleepily sighs and snuggles back against Seungmin, continuing to suck on his thumb.

Meanwhile, Jisung walks silently over to the bed, deciding he would much rather join his two boyfriends, who usually aren’t this cuddly (if you call Minho laying his head on edge Seungmin’s shoulder cuddly), than track down a certain Hwang Hyungjin who stole his phone charger.

Jisung settles down onto the other side of the bed and only after he has turned in towards Minho and placed an arm under Seungmin’s head, does he notice the thumb in Minho’s mouth.

Jisung lets out a gasp and Seungmin is quick to shush him once again.

“Why is he-,” the words die out and Jisung just chooses to stare at their boyfriend in wonder.

“He just- fell asleep like that,” the other shrugs, not wanting to reveal the thing that happened earlier.

Jisung nods, laughing slightly at how his hyung looks like a child but choosing not to question it as he can already feel sleep trying to pull him under.

Seungmin shifts a bit to the side, switching off the light next to the bed, and settles closer to his boyfriends.

Jisung cuddles up too, completely wrapping his body around the other two, partially because he wants cuddles, but mostly because he doesn’t want to topple off the bed in the middle of the night (something that sadly happens far too often in Stray Kids’ dorms).
____________________________________________________________________________

“Shit,” Minho cries out in agitation.

That’s the third time he’s messed up this part in the choreography.

Minho knows that part. He has everything down perfectly so why is he messing it up now?

“Hyung,” Changbin groans playfully, moving towards him to clap him on the shoulder with a playful smile on his face.

“I don’t know why I keep messing this up,” Minho moans in frustration, frowning down at the practice room floor.

“It’s fine. Let's run through it once more, Min-ah,” Chan calls, sending a reassuring smile over his shoulder like he always does when one of the members feels frustrated with making a mistake or something not working out the way they want it to.

As Chan walks over to start up the music again, Minho happens to glance at Hyunjin in the mirror.

The younger looks bothered and won’t stop playing with the rings on his ringers as he glowers at the floor.

Minho doesn’t have time to call him out for it as the music starts up again.

He messes up the move.

Minho sighs in dissatisfaction, about to grumble about messing up again when he is interrupted by a scoff from behind him.

He whirls around with a scowl on his face to see Hyunjin looking extremely annoyed, his lips turning upward in disbelief and irritation as he looks over to his side.

“Something to say, Hyunjin-ah?” Minho challenges, the fierce look on his face making Seungmin look over at Chan worriedly.

Not only is Minho irritated with not getting the choreography right, but he also has been getting less rest with the nightmares ruining his sleep. And he does not need Hyunjin disrespecting him because he made a mistake during dance practice.

“Nope,” Hyunjin replies, contradictory to the hard look in his eye as he stares right back at Minho.

Minho hums back, chuckling darkly as he steps closer to the younger, all the while keeping his gaze on the other boy.

“Hey, guys, I know we’re all tired- I’m tired, at least-, so why don’t we take a break from this song and work on our other one for now. We can practice this one later and I could use some uh- pointers for the- the last part of the dance,” Chan reasons, easily picking up on the tense atmosphere between the two of them.

“Actually…You know, Minho-hyung,” Hyunjin drawls out, a dark look in his eyes as he sizes up the older. “Maybe if you danced better then you wouldn’t be making so many mistakes.”

Everyone stares in shock at Hyunjin’s words. Changbin can't even remember a time when he ever saw his boyfriend mad other than pre-debut days with Jisung.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” Minho asks, his voice dangerously low.

“What? Did you not hear me?” Hyunjin sasses back, laughing coldly at the older.

“Oh, I heard,” Minho replies sharply, his eyes fiery as he locks his gaze on Hyunjin.

“Hyung-,” Felix cuts in, wrapping an arm around Minho to tug him closer.

The older resists easily, not letting his stare waver as he glares daggers at Hyunjin.

“Come over here and say it again, Hyunjinnie,” Minho calls loudly.

Hyunjin scoffs again and comes right up to him, looking down at Minho with only anger present in his expression.

“You’re holding us back, hyung. It’s annoying. I know you already know this dance so why the hell is it taking us so long to get through it?” the younger states plainly, his voice rising to yell as he finishes.

“I’m holding us back?” Minho sneers.

“We’ve all been making mistakes, Hyunjin-ah. You’ve been making mistakes,” he emphasizes. “So what the fuck are you yelling at me for when I've done nothing wrong?”

“Hyungs!” Jeongin shouts worriedly from somewhere in the room, the two of them too focused on each other to pay the youngest any attention.

Chan attempts to stop them again, getting in between the two to gently push them away from each other. “Jinnie. Minho-ah. Stop fighting. You’re both allowed to make mistakes. It’s practice for a reason so stop yelling and-”

“NOTHING WRONG?” Hyunjin bellows, pushing past Chan to get to Minho.

“YOU’VE DONE NOTHING WRONG!” he yells sarcastically at the older.

Minho takes a step back, his eyebrows furrowing as his glare directed towards Hyunjin falters.

“HYUNG, YOU KEEP MESSING UP! It’s so goddamn annoying. I- God, I can’t take this,” Hyunjin continues, shoving Minho back before his hands go up to yank at his hair in exasperation.

“Hyunjin, what the fuck?” Minho questions, now more in confusion than anything else. “Why are you so upset?”

“WHY AM I UPSET? MAYBE BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN DOING NOTHING BUT HOLDING US BACK THIS PRACTICE. YOU AREN’T TAKING ANYTHING SERIOUSLY, HYUNG! WE HAVE WORK TO GET DONE. WE NEED TO KNOW THIS DANCE AND YOU’RE MESSING AROUND,” Hyunjin exasperates, breathing harshly as he shoves Minho back even further.

“FUCK YOU! I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING, HYUNJIN. I’VE BEEN WORKING JUST AS HARD AS YOU,” Minho cries back in outrage, driving Hyunjin back with his hands.

The two of them completely filter out the others yelling at them to knock it off and the hands of their leader, trying to separate the two of them.

“JUST SHUT UP, HYUNG! SHUT THE HELL UP!” Hyunjin shrieks, thrusting Minho back with his hands.

In an instant, Minho’s fury dissipates as he looks behind him to find the wall is only a few steps away from him. Panic stirs in his chest as he turns back to meet Hyunjin’s enraged glare.

“YOU’RE SO FUCKING ANNOYING-”

The rush of blood in Minho’s ears drowns out the rest of what Hyunjin is saying.

Minho feels his stomach churn as a feeling buzzes uncomfortably underneath his skin. He feels dizzy as his thoughts fly and his mind races at the angry voice of his boyfriend.

“HYUNJIN, THAT’S ENOUGH,” he vaguely hears Chan yell at the younger.

Minho’s head pounds as he looks up at Hyunjin, seeing the boy’s mouth move angrily as he continues shouting at Minho. Only, the fuzziness in the older’s head dulls the shouting until he can't hear anything over the pounding of his heart.

“Hyunjin-ah, stop,” Minho tries to say firmly, his voice wavering as he brings his hands up to Hyunjin’s chest, pressing him back.

The younger doesn’t stop moving forward.

Minho flinches back, fear draining his face of color as his eyes water. He tries to become more aware of his surroundings, blinking excessively to stay in the moment and out of his head. But then Hyunjin is yelling again and Minho’s vision starts to swim, tears filling his eyes.

His voice trembles, “Please stop, Hyun-”

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” Hyunjin screams back, bringing his first up and then punching down harshly against the tops of his thighs, the others concern only growing as they watch Hyunjin repeatedly hit himself.

Then the boy gives the last shove before Minho’s body makes contact with the solid wall behind him. The others are all too busy trying to calm down Hyunjin and pull him away that only Seungmin sees when pure fear overtakes Minho’s features.

The mirror that covers the wall against Minho’s back sends goosebumps down his arms as he squeezes his eyes shut so hard that it makes his head spin. Minho unconsciously makes himself smaller, curling in on himself as tears swarm his vision. He bites his bottom lip harshly to keep from crying.

“YOU KNOW, MINHO-HYUNG, MAYBE IF YOU WEREN’T SO-”

“JINNIE, STOP!” Minho cries out, finally unable to hold back the tears as he lets himself crumble to the ground.

Hyunjin stumbles back in horror when he realizes his hyung is crying. He flinches away from the other boy as if just registering that he has Minho pinned against the wall, likely only making his boyfriend feel even more trapped and scared.

“Minho-hyun-,” Hyunjin’s voice fades out as tears blur his vision, disgust curling in his gut as the words he screamed at Minho come rushing back to him all at once.

Meanwhile, the rest of the members stare in shock as another painful cry rips out of Minho’s throat.

“MINNIE!” Minho sobs at the top of his lungs, his shoulders visibly shaking as his crying only grows increasingly louder, holding up his arms from his spot on the ground.

By now, the second-oldest is feeling far too small and vulnerable to stop the sobs that continue bubbling up from his throat. Everything just feels so big right now and all Minho wants is to curl up in one of his boyfriend’s beds with his cat plushie until he feels better.

The members are still frozen as they look over at the sobbing boy on the ground and their other boyfriend standing in front of him, who looks close to crying himself.

“S- SEUNG-SEUNGMINNIE,” Minho blubbers out again, gasping and whimpering as each sob hurts his already scratchy throat.

The second call finally makes Seungmin spring into action, hurriedly going over to the boy. Before he can kneel down to Minho’s level, his boyfriend launches into Seungmin’s embrace, pushing himself off the ground and throwing himself towards his younger boyfriend as quickly as possible.

Seungmin goes rigid in surprise before the importance of hugging his boyfriend back overrides his shock at the sudden (and very unusual) skinship.

The crying boy melts into Seungmin, turning pliant in his embrace as the tears slowly fall down his face.

Everyone is still in shock as the second-oldest continues to cry into Seungmin’s shoulder. Chan can’t even recall a time when he had seen the boy cry other than when he had broken down in the leader’s arms after he got eliminated in the survival show.

“S- Sun’ie,” Minho squeaks out from Seungmin’s arms, reaching over to clutch at Jisung’s shirt,

Jisung wordlessly comes closer to the couple, throwing his arms around the two of them to engulf Minho’s shaking form between him and Seungmin.

Minho tightens his grip around Seungmin’s middle, gaining comfort from the two he feels safest with in this headspace.

Hyunjin can’t bring himself to look over at the three of them, his breaths coming out shaky and fast. ‘I hurt him. I hurt, hyung. He’s crying because of me. I yelled at him. I did this. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. Hyung wasn’t doing anything wrong!’ Hyunjin’s thoughts race faster and faster, his nails digging into his opposite arm as his mind spirals.

Luckily, Felix notices the movement out of the corner of his eye. He grimaces at the sight, his body seizing up as he takes in the tears falling from Hyunjin’s face and the way the other’s right hand is now gripping onto his left arm, his nails pressing forcefully into the skin.

Felix finally takes a shaky breath, marching over to Hyunjin in determination before yanking his right arm away from the other.

“You need to breathe, Jinnie,” he mutters, his gaze fixed sternly at the older boy.

Hyunjin shakes his head in distress, trying to swallow the lump in his throat as tears continue to stream down his cheeks.

“Min-,” Hyunjin’s voice fails him, coming out far too strained and soft for anyone but Felix to hear him.

He staggers closer to the second-oldest, being cautious to stand a ways back from Minho.

“M- Minho-hyung, I’m so- so sorry,” he eventually manages, his breathing rough as the guilt inside him burns beneath his skin.

Upon hearing his name, Minho spins around, sniffling as his tears slowly come to a halt.

“J- Jinnie?” Minho whispers, his fists rubbing harshly at his eyes, which Seungmin is quick to stop and gently wipe the tears away himself.

“Hyung, I-. Min- Minho-hyung, I’m so s- s- sorry. Y- You didn’t do anything w- wrong an’ I shouldn’t have y- yelled or-,” the other apologizes, cutting himself off to bite down hard on his bottom lip to keep his tears at bay.

“Jinnie,” Minho repeats, his voice barely above a whisper and his eyes wide and glossy as he holds his arms out for his boyfriend.

Hyunjin doesn’t question how slurred and high-pitched his boyfriend’s speech has become. He lets out a garbled sob as he walks unsteadily over to Minho and gathers the boy into his arms.

When he finally can't contain the tears any longer, Hyunjin starts crying loudly, gasping for breath as his body trembles and shakes.

Minho pulls back a little and gasps at Hyunjin’s teary, red-rimmed eyes and hugs the boy even tighter to his chest.

“Sowwy, Hyunjinnie. No cwy, Jinnie! Min is sowwy,” Minho speaks, his voice muffled from where it’s pressed against the other boy’s shirt.

Hyunjin startles at that, pushing out of Minho’s embrace.

“W- What?”

“M- Minho make Jinnie cwy?” the older questions in confusion, nervously flitting his gaze back and forth between the other boy and where his hands are anxiously playing with the hem of his t-shirt.

“What…no! No- No, you didn’t make me cry. What do you-,” Hyunjin baffles.

“O- Oh,” Minho mutters, looking down towards the ground as his ears flush in embarrassment before he apprehensively brings his left hand up to his face.

He hesitates and glances around at the other members before whining and rushing back over to Seungmin.

He turns into his boyfriend’s embrace, whimpers falling from his lips as he buries his face into the crook between Seungmin’s neck and shoulder.

“Why- Why is he talking like that?” Jisung speaks up from beside Seungmin, voicing what everyone else is thinking.

Felix, Changbin, and Jeongin move closer to the group, curious and on edge, their faces holding nothing but worry for their boyfriend.

Finally, Chan clears his throat and walks over to the couple from where he stood a few feet away.

“Min, baby, can you look at hyung for a second?” he asks gently.

Minho nods before shyly turning around in Seungmin’s arms and making eye contact with the leader.

“Chan-hyung…” Changbin trails off, seeing the look in the leader’s eye.

“Hyung, do you know what’s going on?” Felix asks at the same time, also noticing the knowing look on Chan’s face.

“Are you feeling better, baby?” Chan directs his attention to Minho, purposefully ignoring the other two so he can test out his theory.

“Mhm!” Minho hums happily.

“That’s good, Min! Do you need me to get you anything, sweetie?” Chan exclaims, grinning back at the boy.

“Channie, MinMin wan’ Hae,” Minho giggles, smiling widely back at the oldest.

This time, Chan falters, a frown on his face as he can’t seem to recall ever knowing someone named Hae.

“Kitten, who’s H-”

Before the leader can finish his question, Minho is letting out a loud squeal.

Hyunjin’s mouth drops open in shock as Felix and Jeongin’s eyes widen.

The sound is possibly the most adorable thing any of the members have ever heard and they all watch in amazement as Minho’s cheeks flush red and his face scrunches up as a gummy smile takes over his features.

Chan exhales loudly in shock, it finally clicking in his mind that Minho secretly enjoys being called “kitten” and that’s why he would never stop Chan when he would affectionately compare him to a cat.

“Aw,” the leader coos after shaking off his astonishment. “Do you want to tell hyung who Hae is, kitten?”

Adorable giggles spill out of Minho’s mouth as he squirms in his place, feeling small and fuzzy at the pet name.

“Hae! My fwien’!” Minho cheers happily before realizing how loud he was and turning to timidly clutch onto Felix behind him.

The other boy instantly clings back to Minho, thriving off of the affection. Felix hadn’t been receiving a lot of hugs from his boyfriends recently so he was more than happy to reciprocate the sudden hug. He hadn’t realized how much the lack of skinship was affecting him.

Felix presses Minho even closer to his chest, holding him securely despite not knowing what the hell is going on.

Minho nuzzles his face into Felix’s shoulder as Seungmin hesitantly speaks up.

“Uh- It’s his stuffed animal, Chan-hyung,” Seungmin informs them.

“Wait- Do you know why he’s acting this way, Seungmin-ah?” Changbin presses, turning to look at the boy after tearing his eyes away from Minho and Felix.

Seungmin shakes his head in response.

“I saw him a while ago…playing with it when my guitar lesson got canceled. I think hyung thought no one would be home,” he says before his voice gets quieter.

“Minho-hyung didn’t want everyone to make fun of him so he asked me not to tell you. I wouldn’t have anyways, but I think it’s kind of necessary in this situation,” he winces, feeling bad for betraying Minho’s trust but knowing that he needs to tell the others in order to keep their boyfriend happy.

Suddenly, Felix gasps, causing Minho’s eyes to widen and for him to gasp too in response.

“Oh, does he- Does he have a headspace?” Felix gapes in realization.

“That’s what I’m thinking,” Chan says, smiling at their boyfriend in Felix’s arms.

Meanwhile, Minho has gone back to not paying attention to the others talking. Their words all jumble up inside his head and he is feeling far too small to try to understand anyways. His mind feels funny as he lets himself fully relax, giving into the warm, floaty feeling as he goes boneless in Felix’s arms.

The pet name from Chan has only served to push him deeper into his headspace, making him feel even smaller and taken care of.

Minho lays back against Felix completely, who has since tightened his grip once the boy had started going lax in his embrace. The comfort makes Minho feel so tiny and loved.

He lets his brain unwind completely and knows his boyfriends will take good care of him and make him feel safe once more.

“Oh my god. That’s so precious,” Felix whispers, a sunny smile spreading onto his face.

“Okay, does somebody want to tell me what the hell is going on?” Changbin finally interrupts, his eyebrows furrowed as he watches Minho bring his left hand up to his mouth and start lightly sucking on his thumb.

“Yeah,” Jeongin agrees with a frown. “Minho-hyung, are you-”

“Innie-,” Chan cuts off sharply, gesturing over to the boy, who is now struggling to keep his eyes open as he suckles on his finger in his boyfriend’s arms.

Hyunjin signs, “Hyung, seriously- what is going-”

“Littlespace,” Chan finally answers. “…I think it’s age regression, at least. It’s a- It’s a coping mechanism where people or uh- Littles- mentally regress to a younger age. It’s a kind of mindset like this- this safe space where age regressors can relieve stress and feel safe and happy.”

“Is it- permanent?” Jeongin asks in horror.

“No, no, no!” Chan is quick to clarify. “It’s simply a coping mechanism. Littles aren’t always regressed. Usually it’s just used for stress relief like any other coping mechanism. But it can also be in response to anxiety, PTSD, trauma, and all that.”

The maknae slowly nods his head, taking in Chan’s words.

“So hyung is…like a young child…mentally?” Hyunjin asks slowly.

“More or less,” the leader responds.

“Wait, so Minho-hyung acts like a child to cope like how um- Lixie bakes to relieve stress and I watch Howl’s Moving Castle an unhealthy amount of times?” Jisung questions, still a bit lost.

“It’s more like he’s in the mindset of a child. Not acting, but just doing things that feel right because he’s in that headspace.”

Before anyone can ask any more questions, Changbin is letting out a squeal, the high-pitch of his voice rivaling Minho’s from before.

“THAT’S SO CUTE!”

Sadly, the sound quickly jolts Minho out of sleep and he starts immediately crying at the sudden noise.

“Ah! I’m sorry, baby. Binnie didn’t mean to wake you up. I just got excited, Min,” Changbin whispers soothingly.

Minho tries to reply back, but his head is all mushy and he can’t get himself to formulate any words. He lets out a whine and looks over at Changbin with glossy eyes.

The other chuckles and leans forward to brush Minho’s hair out of his face, his eyes shining with joy when the Little unconsciously presses into Changbin’s hand, letting out a sigh as his eyes slip shut once again.

“It was my fault then,” Hyunjin says in a small voice as Changbin coos and praises Minho, comfortably adjusting to the change.

“Hyunjin-ah,” Chan frowns.

“No, hyung. I yelled at him and I- I scared him. He was scared of me, hyungie. I-,” his hands rise up to cover his face as his bottom lip trembles. “I made him reveal something about himself that he wasn’t ready to share yet. I forced him to- to regress.”

“Hey, Hyunjin-ah. I know you feel bad but beating yourself up about it isn’t worth it. Minho’s a very forgiving person and isn’t one to hold grudges. You can apologize to him once he’s out of headspace, love. Everything will be alright, I promise.” Chan reassures him, pulling the taller boy into his arms as the younger tries to hold back his tears.

“And when we have time, you and I can cuddle and talk together because I know that wasn’t normal you,” Chan whispers into Hyunjin’s ear, who nods in response.

“I’m sorry, hyun-,”

“Shh, Hyunie. There’s no need to apologize. I’ve just never seen you mad before,” the leader rubs up and down his back soothingly.

“I’ve seen all the other members mad but not you since- since trainee days with Sungie,” Chan chuckles quietly into his ears. “That’s why I know something’s up and I want to make sure we walk so I know how to help, yeah?”

“Yes, Channie-hyung,” Hyunjin says, chuckling slightly at the reminder of pre-debut Jisung and Hyunjin’s constant fighting.

“IN-ah,” Felix calls, drawing Chan’s attention away from Hyunjin and over to the youngest.

The leader notices the uncomfortable expression on the younger’s face and is quick to ask if everything’s okay.

“Yeah, it’s just…new,” Jeongin smiles hesitantly.

He won’t lie and say it isn’t weird to see his hyung behaving this way. It is a huge contrast to how Minho acts usually and Jeongin is still struggling to understand the whole concept of age regression.

“Yeah, it is very new,” Felix agrees. “But I’m sure we can all do our bests to accept this side of Minho and love him just as much as we love our Minho-hyung.”

Jeongin nods, his lips turning slightly upwards.

Even if it would take some getting used to, the youngest knows that he will always love Minho no matter what. This is simply a side Jeongin hasn’t experienced before. And besides, doesn’t this mean that sometimes Jeongin doesn’t always have to be the youngest?

“He’s very cute so I don’t think it will be hard,” Seungmin laughs out, petting the now sleeping boy’s cheek.

“Yeah. I could definitely get used to Minho-hyung being all soft like this. And seeing Seungmin being soft, cooing over the baby,” Jisung smiles, affectionately referring to Minho as “the baby”.

“We should get him home, huh?” Chan sighs.

“Do I have to move him?” Felix groans, pouting at the thought of giving up his cuddle buddy.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Hyungs, how did you both know about Littlespace?” the maknae questions quietly on their way back.

Minho’s head rests on Felix’s shoulders while his
legs sprawl out on Seungmin’s lap, despite the younger boy's complaints.

Chan had made sure to call their manager personally instead of the staff to drive them back since writing off him carrying Minho as simply the boy had “fallen asleep” was easy but having to explain why Minho’s thumb was lodged into his mouth too, was not.

“You do know I have internet access, right, Innie? Chan scoffs back, recalling all his late-night searches on Google of various topics that would randomly pop into his head when he tried to go to sleep.

“That’s so true. I once caught Channie-hyung looking up a rap song about glycolysis.” Jisung shakes his head from the passenger seat of the car.

“Isn’t that the part of cellular respiration where glucose-” Changbin starts.

“In my defense-” the oldest interrupts.

“There is no “in your defense”, hyung.” Jisung shoots back as soon as Chan tries to defend himself.

“IT WAS VERY INFORMATIONAL, JISUNG-AH!” Chan huffs while their manager laughs quietly from the driver's seat.

All the members loved him. Their manager was the kindest and most understanding person they had ever met. As soon as the man had seen Minho, he had smiled brightly and cooed at the boy before Chan could even stumble through a lie as to why Minho was sucking on his thumb.

The leader had apologized numerous times for bothering their manager when they could’ve just gotten another staff member to drive them home, but the man had only waved them off.

“I understand, Chan-ah. There’s no need for an explanation or apology. I will say though …Minho-ah might benefit from a plastic soother of some sort so if this happens again his thumb won’t look like a prune,” he had laughed off before telling them to hop in and asking if they had all had a good practice and eaten enough this morning, making Chan’s level of respect for this man only rise.

“It was a rap about a metabolic pathway!” Jisung throws back.

“What the fuck is a metabol-,” Jeongin mutters from beside Jisung, looking beyond lost as he stares down at his lap.

“THE SONG WAS VERY CATCHY!” Chan shouts, interrupting the youngest.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE YOU WAKE MINHO-HYUNG!” Felix hisses through his teeth, making sure not to bump the sleeping Minho resting on his shoulder.

Their manager softly laughs from the front, commenting that there were some blankets in a basket under one of the front seats that Felix could use to make sure the two of them wouldn’t get cold on the drive back.

“Yeah, Channie-hyung, don’t wake the baby.” Jisung taunts while Felix thanks their manager and reaches under the passenger seat in front of
him to pull out a blanket.

“I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU TOO, JISUNGIE!” Felix yells back before draping the soft material over him and their adorable boyfriend sound asleep against his shoulder.

Chapter Text

When Stray Kids finally arrive home, the Little is still passed out against Felix’s side. He mumbles every once in a while in his sleep, mentioning the members a lot as well as talking about his stuffed animal and giggling softly in his sleep.

Changbin thought it was adorable while Jisung thought the giggles were mildly terrifying.

Chan is quick to thank their manager for the fifteenth time before hopping out.

“It’s no trouble, Chan-ah. Always feel free to call if you need anything. But I do expect a “Best Manager in the World” mug next holiday season,” the man jokes, shooting the leader a lighthearted smile before ushering the boy away.

Chan opens the side of the car to help Felix out and then maneuvers a passed-out Minho into his arms to carry inside. He feels the boy shift a little in his arms but his focus is still on whisper-shouting at the others to exit the car to take note of it.

They quickly make their way inside, Jeongin fumbling with the key a few times before unlocking the house.

“Finally,” Felix sighs in relief, the practice had been super early in the morning so it was nice to relax at home while it was still early in the afternoon.

He latches onto Hyunjin’s hand and pulls the boy through the door and into a kiss.

The poor boy had been worriedly gnawing at his bottom lip the whole ride home as he glanced at Minho every few seconds. He hadn't spoken a word to anyone despite the concerned looks the members kept sending his way.

Hyunjin lets himself slump completely into Felix, his plush lips finding Felix's as he presses into the kiss.

“My babies,” Jisung mutters, a sad smile on his face as he goes over to hug the two of them when they separate from the kiss.

Hyunjin leans even more into Felix’s embrace, his hands pulling tightly on stands of his hair as his head drops down to the younger boy's shoulder.

Seungmin comes up behind them to gently remove the boy’s hands and Jisung tightens his embrace around the two, helping Felix hold up Hyunjin’s weight.

Hyunjin can feel their eyes on him so he hurriedly buries his face further into Felix’s neck to hide himself.

“Hyung,” someone clears their throat.

Chan looks down quickly to see Minho awake and shifting uncomfortably in his arms where he’s being cradled to Chan’s chest. The boy in his arm’s cheeks turn red as an unreadable expression passes over his face.

“I’m- You can let me down now,” Minho mumbles only for Chan to hear.

“O- Okay, yeah. Right, I-. Um- sorry,” Chan stutters back and is quick to lower Minho so he can stand up on his own.

The scuffling alerts several of the other boys and they shift their attention from Felix and Hyunjin over to Minho and Chan.

“Min?” someone calls out hesitantly.

The second-oldest looks up to find all his boyfriends now staring at him.

By the looks of it, it was Changbin who had called out to him.

“I’m not- I’m-,” Minho struggles to get out, unsure of how much they figured out.

“You’re not little anymore, hyung?” Jisung supplies quietly.

Minho gulps, trying to look the younger up and down to gauge his reaction.

“Y- Yeah,” Minho says almost inaudibly before pausing and staring awkwardly at the ground.

“I’m assuming you- you all know now. And I apologize for not telling you. Well, no, actually- It was supposed to be a secret so you weren’t meant to know at all. But I’m sorry that this was the way you had to find out.”

Minho’s heart is in his throat as he continues and he doesn’t dare look up from where his eyes are staring holes into the ground.

“And if it made you uncomfortable then…”

‘Fuck you?’ Minho thinks to himself. ‘Or maybe I should apologize if it made them uncomfortable.’

He feels conflicted as he only remembers bits and pieces from when he was in Littlespace. The memory was hazy overall because all he had been focusing on was finding comfort and making himself feel less afraid while he was little.

An unbearable silence fills the room. Or maybe it was just uncomfortable to Minho, he couldn't tell.

“Love, do you feel okay with talking on the couch right now? Or do you want some time to- time to process?” Chan finally speaks up, using a finger to tilt Minho’s chin up so their eyes can meet.

He smiles hesitantly to Minho and the second-oldest can tell that Chan is hoping Minho will want to talk now but is being kind enough to give him an option to back out if he’s not ready.

Minho hums back in reply before turning and plopping himself down on the couch.

He keeps his head bowed as the others hop onto the sofa next to him and only looks up when a hand fits into his own.

Jisung smiles back at him, squeezing his fingers reassuringly.

“So you’re an age regressor, hyungie?” Changbin calls immediately after they sit down, not one to beat around the bush which Minho both loved and hated in the moment.

“Yes,” comes Minho’s reluctant affirmation.

“How come we’ve never seen you like that before, honey?” Jisung pipes up, looking at the older curiously and prompting him to speak more.

“I usually- regress to a younger age voluntarily. I use it to handle stress mostly to process emotions and everything that’s going on. But today was…different and I did it on- on accident,” Minho explains, gesturing vaguely before his hands fall back into his lap.

Hyunjin tenses from his spot at the end of the couch, curling in as he steels himself for Minho's next words. He looks up in surprise when Minho doesn’t continue, having expected the older boy to get mad and yell at him.

“That’s completely valid, kitten,” Chan continues when he notices Minho’s eyes never leaving his lap.

“Don’t- Don’t call me that,” Minho exhales, his eyebrows furrowed.

However, he does look up at the older, who smiles widely back at him.

“Oh! But you love that pet name,” Chan laughs affectionately, his eyes only filled with love and admiration for the boy next to him.

“I hate you,” Minho grumbles, a stark contrast to the red color his ears have become.

But Chan catches the nearly unnoticeable upturn of his mouth that the leader wouldn’t have caught had he not known the boy as well as he did.

“Hyung,” another person speaks up.

Minho looks over to his left to see the maknae, who looks beyond confused at this point.

“Sorry. Can you explain age- age regression? I’m not sure if I completely understand it,” Jeongin borderline pouts, making Minho internally coo at his cuteness.

“For me, it’s a headspace that I have-…or almost a coping mechanism that I use where I mentally regress to a younger age than my actual one. It’s so I don’t have to worry about all these responsibilities and can handle stress better. Age regression is simply a safe place where I can feel small and carefree like I did when I was younger,” Minho explains, smiling this time as he knows how much the youngest tries to support his boyfriends and always be open to learning new things.

“Okay. So just like any other coping mechanism,” Jeongin parrots back, lost in thought as he internally processes all the information.

Minho hums back, feeling a bit better despite his heart still beating erratically in his chest.

“How old do you usually slip to, Minho-hyungie?” Felix smiles, his bright grin making Minho unconsciously relax more, the tension in his shoulders dropping as he takes a deep breath in.

“Um- It really depends, Lix-ah. It’s not a set age or anything. But usually…” Minho pauses, his ears flushing as he looks down once again.

“What, hyung?” Felix grins, knowing the older is more than embarrassed at this point.

“Usually, I regress pretty young,” Minho finally gets out, his voice strained before he groans in aggravation and brings his legs up to hide his face behind his knees.

“Cute!” Felix shouts happily, bouncing up and down on the sofa at his hyung’s clear embarrassment.

“Felix,” Chan warns before giggling himself at their poor boyfriend.

Changbin smiles too, not just because Minho is adorable (which he already knew even before he knew his boyfriend was a Little), but also at hearing that Minho has a way to deal with stress. Changbin couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t often concerned for the oldest. He’s never even seen Minho cry since today. So he’s glad that his hyung has a way to express his emotions even if it’s just when he’s little.

“I do have a question for you though,” the leader admits.

Minho nods his head for him to continue.

“You said you use it as a coping mechanism and to handle stress and cope with emotions and all that, but today, it didn’t seem like you slipped purposefully. Is it not something you can control?” Chan questions.

“Most of the time I can control it. Like I said, I usually do it voluntarily once or a few times every month to relax for a bit. It rarely happens where I can’t control when I do it,” Minho looks over at Hyunjin before his eyes flit back downwards.

“Min…” Chan trails off, his expression pained as he looks over at the boy.

Minho freezes but nods at the leader to continue.

“It’s okay, hyung, you can say it.”

“Fuck,” Chan breaths out.

“Is this- Is this something we have to be worried about happening in public?” he asks carefully, grimacing at his words.

Minho looks surprised for a second, thinking the leader was about to say something else.

“No! Not at all. Honestly, it doesn’t happen very often and if it did it would be more likely to happen here, after a nightmare or something. There aren’t a lot of things that trigger me to regress involuntarily,” Minho smiles reassuringly, knowing that Chan has to ask that question as he’s not just their boyfriend but also the leader of the group and it’s his responsibility to keep things in check.

Chan breathes out a sigh of relief that Minho wasn’t upset by the question. He already felt bad enough having to ask it in the first place.

“What are your triggers, Minho-hyung? As much as I loved getting a hug from you of all people, I’d rather it not be when you’re bawling your eyes out against my shoulder,” Seungmin comments.

Minho snorts, “You’re welcome for the hug, Seungminnie. That’s the only hug you'll be getting from your hyung for the rest of the year!”

“I’ll consider it an early birthday gift,” the younger jokes back, his eyes twinkling as he stares challengingly at Minho.

The oldest rolls his eyes in response before Jisung squeezes his hand, looking at him expectantly. So Minho takes a deep breath and finally stutters out a response.

“Some Littles regress against their will when they’re under a lot of stress. I guess their mind just forces them to relax and take care of themselves. But for me, when I slip and it’s not on purpose, it’s because of-. It’s when-,” Minho pauses, unable to get the words out.

“Is it...due to trauma? Or-”

Minho nods before the leader can continue.

He can hear Felix suck in a breath and one of the other members gasp from somewhere to his right while Jisung holds his hand even tighter.

“We don’t have to talk about that if you aren't ready to- to open up about it,” Chan whispers into Minho’s ear, seeing the way the younger's body is tensed and his gaze is hardened as he looks downwards.

“Thanks, hyungie,” he shakily replies back, his grip on Jisung’s hand turning borderline painful.

“Oh! Can we see Hae, hyung?” Jeongin easily changes the subject. “Seungmin-hyung got to see but we didn’t.”

Before Minho can open his mouth to say anything, Seungmin butts in.

“I’m sorry, Minho-hyung. You were asking for your stuffed animal when you were little and- and so-”

“It’s fine, Seungmin-ah,” Minho stops him, shooting him a small smile.

“He told us it was a cat plushie, hyung,” Felix grins evilly, reaching over to tickle Minho.

“Hey, no! Felix-,” Minho glares at him, scrambling closer to Jisung to evade the sudden tickle attack.

“A cat! That’s so cute,” Changbin sighs out. “Seriously, hyung, you were so cute. I didn’t like the circumstances that made us find out but I am really glad to have gotten to see that side of you.”

“Will we-,” he continues, taking a deep breath. “Will we be able to see Little Minho again sometime?”

“If-. You- You want to?” Minho stutters out in surprise, disbelief showing clear on his face as he looks over at Changbin.

“Of course, hyung. We like every part of you including this one. Besides, I think if we tried to take Felix’s new cuddle buddy away from him, he might end up crying,” the third-oldest giggles before his tone turns more serious. “As long as it’s okay with you, I’d love to learn more about your Littlespace and how to take care of you.”

Changbin’s voice is hesitant and unsure but Minho can tell how much the boy genuinely means his words.

He may not even know the first thing about Minho’s age regression or Littles in general, but here he was, still asking to take care of Minho any way he needed.

“I’m not sure,” Minho speaks up, feeling an instant wave of regret when Changbin’s face falls slightly.

“No! I-, Changbin, it’s not because I don’t want you to! I’m just- Is it not weird to you that I act like a child to cope?” he asks incredulously.

“You aren’t acting, kitten. You do whatever feels comfortable in your headspace. There’s nothing wrong with that,” the oldest shoots him down immediately.

“Yeah, I guess. But I’m your boyfriend,” Minho protests stubbornly.

“It was a little weird to me at first,” Jeongin admits truthfully. “It’s still weird to me actually, but that doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. I want to learn more, hyung. And you were really cute so it’s not like it’s going to be hard for me to warm up to the idea. I love you and that includes your Littlespace.”

Minho looks over in astonishment at the maknae.

“Wow! Our youngest is so wise!” Jisung coos loudly before ruffling the boy’s hair with his free hand, earning himself a hard slap on the shoulder.

“Okay,” Minho finally relents. “Does this mean you’re offering to be my caregivers?”

“Yes!” Chan and Felix cry while the rest look at him in confusion.

“It’s just a title for a person or people who take care of Littles while they’re in headspace. Most don’t need caregivers and a lot are happy by themselves, but for some, it’s nice to have someone looking after them and making sure they don’t get hurt,” Minho explains.

“Then, yes! Does being your caregivers mean we get to play with you?” Changbin asks, a determined look on his face as if it's his life goal to play with Minho while he's little.

“Yeah,” Minho answers, trying to hold in his laugher at the delighted look on his boyfriend’s face at his response.

“Only if that’s what you want, Min,” Chan adds quickly.

Minho hums in thought.

He doesn’t need a caregiver and he knows this. But he can’t lie that he hasn’t felt lonely lately while regressed, sometimes missing the comfort of his members and friends. And he can’t lie and say that he hasn’t thought about telling his boyfriends before on multiple occasions.

“I think I need more time,” Minho eventually responds, his voice quiet as he looks down at where his and Jisung's hands are intertwined on his lap. “I’m not sure if I’d be comfortable having you take care of me while I’m little and I know how shy I am when I’m in headspace too. That- That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to try it out. It just may take some time to get used to but I think- I think you’d all make great caregivers.”

He finally looks up, smiling at his kind boyfriends and trying to wordlessly convey his gratitude for them all being accepting of this despite most of them probably never having heard of age regression before now.

Minho knows it will be tough to let them see this vulnerable part of himself and to eventually open up about the childhood that had caused him to start age regressing in the first place. And he knows it’s not as easy as deciding that he wants them as his caregivers without talking more and having them get to know his little side and how to take care of him, but Minho knows that they will work things out like they always have done and always will do.

“Okay,” Chan replies easily. “You can take as long as you need, Minho. And if you end up deciding that you don’t want caregivers then that’s fine and totally up to you.”

The others nod in agreement, smiling over at him.

“Wait… Hyung?” Jeongin class out slowly.

“Yes, Innie,” Minho responds back, yawning a bit before slumping further back into the cushions.

“Have you been regressing this whole time?” the maknae asks in shock.

Minho hums in response, smiling lightly when Jisung starts playing with his fingers.

“How did we not notice?” Jeongin mutters.

“I noticed!” Felix announces, happily.

“That’s why I researched and eventually stumbled on Littlespace. But I never knew how to bring it up and eventually forgot about it,” he giggles.

Minho snorts at that, shooting Felix a playful look, which the younger returns.

“Um-, hyung?” Jeongin calls out for the second time, this time feeling hesitant.

The second-oldest immediately straightens up at his tone and looks over at his boyfriend to continue.

“It says here that some Littles like calling their caregivers like uh- parental titles. Is that- Would you want that if- if we were to become your caregivers?” the maknae asks uncomfortably, holding out his phone to show Minho the website he had pulled up.

“…Innie?” Minho asks firmly, frowning at the look on the maknae’s face and staring into his eyes until Jeongin relents.

“I’m sorry, hyung, I just don’t know if I’d be comfortable with being called something like that,” Jeongin rushes out.

It wasn’t that the youngest found it weird for Littles to call the people looking after them names like “eomma” or “appa”, he just personally didn’t want to be called something like that. It was fine if Minho wanted to call the others parental titles since it made sense for him to see them that way in headspace but it just didn’t feel right for Jeongin.

“That’s fine, IN-ah. I’m not mad. And honestly, I don’t think I’d want to refer to you guys that way anyways,” Minho laughs out. “It might be normal for others, but I think I feel most comfortable with just calling you by your names or nicknames. But even if I wanted to, it’s okay to not be comfortable with some things, Innie. Just like any other relationship, romantic or platonic, it goes two ways. So if you’re uncomfortable with something then you need to tell me and we can work it out. Simple as that.”

Jeongin nods in understanding, smiling happily at Minho.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to you calling me “hyung” though,” the maknae giggles, making Minho’s ears turn red.

“YAH! STOP THAT, IN-AH!” Minho complains, whining loudly in annoyance.

“Moving on!” Chan cries out loudly. “Do you guys want to order lunch from that one-”

“DOMINOS!” Changbin’s yell interrupts the leader.

“…From that one Domino’s. That’s exactly what I was going to say,” the leader rolls his eyes but pulls out his phone nonetheless to find the closest Domino’s Pizza near them.

“Ay, DOMINO,” Jisung mutters under his breath, attempting (poorly) to do the start of the choreography with his hand still holding Minho's.

Felix laughs loudly while Jeongin asks him to “Please, stop.”

They debate for a while on what they want to order and finally settle on getting two large cheese pizzas since everyone had a different opinion on what toppings belonged on pizza and what ones didn’t.

“Hyunjinnie, will you eat just plain cheese pizza?” Seungmin calls out to the older boy.

Hyunjin looks up briefly before shaking his head.

“I’m not hungry.”

Seungmin frowns. Their boyfriend had been quiet the whole time they were talking, staring straight in front of him or zoning out while playing with his rings.

“But you love pizza, Jinnie,” Felix points out, looking over in concern at the boy sitting the farthest away from Minho at the end of the couch.

“I’m sorry, Felix. I’m just not hungry,” Hyunjin replies, forcing himself to smile a bit to reassure the other boy.

If anything, it makes Felix and the others feel even more worried at the broken and exhausted look in Hyunjin’s eyes as his lips curl up in a pathetic excuse for a smile. The boy had always been bad at not letting his emotions show through his facial expressions.

“I’m going to go take a nap,” Hyunjin continues, not raising his head to look up at the others as he shuffles off the couch.

“Hyunjin-ah, you barely ate any breakfast. You need to eat, Jinnie,” Minho frowns.

The boy pauses before walking down the hall to his room, completely ignoring Minho, whose mouth drops open in surprise.

Minho’s heartbeat increases as his gaze lowers in complete disbelief. ‘Did Hyunjin just ignore me?’

“Hey, hyung. Hyung- Hyung, can you look at me?” Jisung worriedly utters when he hears Minho’s breathing turn short and erratic.

“S- Sung,” Minho whispers out, feeling as though his breaths are being punched out of him every time he tries to inhale.

Jisung quickly lets go of his hand in favor of pulling a leg across the older’s body and settling down on his lap.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay, hyung. You’re okay,” he reassures, holding Minho’s face in his hands as he tries to get the other to focus on what he’s saying.

“He- He’s mad-. Is he mad at me?” Minho enquires in a pained voice as his breathing only picks up, his chest tightening painfully as his breaths stutter.

“He’s not mad at you, hyung, I promise,” Felix soothes, having made his way to Jisung’s vacant spot next to Minho.

He lays his hand gently on Minho’s head and when his boyfriend shows no signs of discomfort, starts gently stroking his hair.

“Min, he was just as supportive of your Littlespace as the rest of us were. Hyung promises…he isn’t mad, Minho-ah,” the leader cuts in.

Minho hums noncommittally, his chest still shaking.

“Honey, hey,” Jisung calls, making Minho turn his attention towards the boy sitting on his lap.

“I’m going to need you to follow my breathing like how you do for me sometimes when I’m about to have a panic attack,” he explains plainly, knowing Minho will understand.

The older boy blinks up at him, apprehensively holding his hand out. Jisung takes his hand, smiling, and presses it flat against his chest so Minho can feel his breaths.

The second-oldest closes his eyes and focuses on the steady rise and fall of Jisung’s chest, trying his best to match his own breathing.

All the while, Felix continues to touch his hair, and Jisung whispers reassurances.

“You okay now?” Jisung finally asks when Minho opens his eyes.

“Y- Yeah,” the other responds back, his voice rough.

Almost instantly, Seungmin is shoving a glass of water into his hands that he had retrieved while Jisung and Felix were calming the older boy down.

“Thanks,” Minho grunts out as he takes a slow sip of water.

The coolness burns his throat going down but it helps him become more aware.

He feels a little guilty for making the members take care of him twice today but their genuine concern for him is sweet. He’s thankful for all his boyfriends even though it’s still very new to him to let people take care of him and comfort him when he’s feeling bad.

‘Shit. They saw me cry today too,’ Minho thinks to himself, unintentionally groaning out loud.

“What’s wrong, Minho-hyung?” Felix asks softly.

“Nothing, nothing,” the older waves him off.

“But if you don’t stop petting my head like that you're going to make me slip, Lixie,” he jokes.

“Do you need to regress again?” Felix asks immediately in concern.

“No, Pixie. I was kidding,” Minho scowls, slapping Felix lightly on the thigh.

“Seriously, do you need to though, hyungie? You weren’t little for very long today,” the younger frowns.

“Yeah, hyung, are you sure you’re okay for now?” Changbin asks.

“I’m fine. I never need to regress,” Minho emphasizes.

“But I’ll probably- I’ll probably regress sometime soon if we have time. Other than today, I haven’t slipped fully since Seungmin-ah walked in on me in Littlespace,” he admits shyly.

“That was over a month ago!” Seungmin shouts back in horror.

Sadly, they are interrupted by a knock at the door before Minho can use some choice words to tell Seungmin to shut the hell up and that it wasn’t nearly that long ago.

“Okay. I am going to go get the pizza and then talk to Hyunjinnie. And maybe a little bit later, Minho can regress again since we have time today,” Chan says, eyeing Minho sternly.

“…And he can regress with or without us. Either is fine, yeah?” he smiles, making Minho groan from his spot on the couch.

“YAH! YAH! DON’T BITE ME JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE MAD AT CHAN-HYUNG. OW! FUCK! MINHO-HYUNG, YOU LITTLE SHIT-” Jisung cries out from his spot on Minho’s lap as the other turns his head to try and bite the arm Jisung has resting on his shoulder.
____________________________________________________________________________

Chan sucks in a breath before slowly opening the door and letting himself into the dimly lit room.

He doesn’t bother turning on a light, his eyes zeroing in on the figure sitting on the bed to his right.

“Hyunjin-ah?” he calls out hesitantly, not getting anything back in response as he walks closer to the other boy.

His eyebrows draw together when the sight of a teary-eyed Hyunjin comes into view.

“Hyunjinnie…, love?” the leader calls out again, softly.

He crouches down the other boy’s level and observes Hyunjin as the boy sits hunched over in his spot at the edge of the bed, his shirt discarded off to the side as his hands pull harshly at the strands of his hair.

“Hyunie,” he mutters lightly again.

Finally, the younger boy snaps out of it, his head brought back down from the clouds as the hands buried in his hair fall.

“H- Hyung,” Hyunjin greets back, his voice gruff.

Chan smiles, his eyes holding only worry and compassion for his younger boyfriend.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin’s gaze is downturned as his hands take to forming fists and punching down harshly on his thighs.

“Hyunie, can you stop hitting yourself, please?” the oldest asks, keeping his tone gentle and loving.

Hyunjin’s hands freeze immediately before coming back down firmly once more and then stilling.

Chan watches as the boy begins fidgeting with his rings and rhythmically cracking his knuckles.

Just as the older boy is about to speak up, Hyunjin is letting out a broken sound of distress as he starts frantically shaking his hands like he’s wringing them of water.

“It’s okay, love. Can you play with my fingers instead, Hyunjin-ah?” the leader inquires, knowing how much both he and Felix unconsciously play with the member’s fingers to calm themselves, similar to how Jeongin would fiddle with people's jewelry for something to do with his hands.

“Y- Yes, hyung,” Hyunjin stutters back, pushing himself further towards the other side of the mattress as tears start falling down his cheeks again.

He quickly tucks himself underneath the covers and looks over at Chan, expectantly waiting for him to shimmy in beside him.

“Thank you, love,” the leader praises, holding up the edge of the covers on Hyunjin’s bed and slipping underneath to join him.

Hyunjin sighs at the contact of Chan’s warm body next to his, curling into him and completely forgetting about his intent to play with Chan’s fingers and the few rings he has on.

The leader laughs in surprise, holding Hyunjin back. He lets the younger curl himself up more into his emrbrace, making him look even smaller than Chan despite the clear height difference between the two.

“I’m right here, baby. Right here. What do you need?”

Hyunjin says nothing, closing his eyes tightly as the tears slowly continue to drip down his face before he wordlessly tugs on the hem of Chan’s shirt.

The leader stares in bemusement at the other until Hyunjin speaks up.

“Off, Channie.”

The older doesn’t bother to mention the lack of honorifics at the end of his name. And to be honest, he doesn’t care. The main reason why he had his group keep using honorifics even at the dorms when it was just them was that it was easier to remember to use them when they were in public. It was simpler that way. But the oldest definitely had no problems when the members referred to him informally or purposely dropped the honorifics since it was nice to see how comfortable they had all become with him despite him still being the oldest as well as their leader.

Hyunjin pulls on the shirt fabric again and Chan is quick to move a bit back from the younger to slip off his t-shirt.

It isn’t anything Hyunjin hasn’t seen before. The oldest normally walks around in only pants while at the house. He actually hates wearing shirts while in the dorms.

Then the leader is snuggling back up to Hyunjin.

The boy’s tears have slowly come to a halt but he keeps his eyes shut as he cuddles back into Chan, humming low in his throat at the skin-on-skin contact.

Hyunjin presses into him, shifting around to get as close as possible to the warmth beside him.

“Hyunjin-! Hyunjinnie,” Chan tries to gain his attention in vain as the boy keeps struggling to get closer despite them already being pressed chest to chest.

The younger’s eyes snap open and more tears are falling as lays his head flat against the sheets and pushes into the nonexistent space between where Chan’s shoulder is pressed against the mattress below.

“H- Hyungie,” Hyunjin says in a distressed whisper, a sob wrenching from his throat as his breaths grow labored and he starts crying even harder.

“Oh, love, it’s alright. Here. I’ve got you. I’m right here, Hyunjin-ah,” Chan reassures, it finally dawning on him what Hyunjin wants.

He quickly lifts himself up a bit and moves until he’s hovering over the younger boy before carefully lowering his body on top of Hyunjin.

The pressure of Chan’s full body weight directly on top of him has Hyunjin’s panicked breaths evening out as he focuses on the heaviness of his boyfriend’s body laying on his own. The weight makes him feel safe as he closes his eyes to focus solely on the comforting presence of his oldest boyfriend.

“Better, Jinnie?” Chan asks, smiling down at him when he feels Hyunjin’s body slowly stop trembling and shaking beneath him as his sobs quiet down until they stop completely.

“Y- Yes. S- S- Sorry, Ch- Chan-hyung,” Hyunjin apologizes, still sucking in deep breaths.

The older boy utters another soft, “You’re okay, Jinnie”.

He continues stroking Hyunjin’s cheek and waits for the boy to calm down enough for him to talk.

When Hyunjin finally opens his eyes again, the leader gives him a small smile before slowly removing himself so he isn’t crushing the younger beneath him anymore.

“Wait!” the other calls out in a panic, looking distraught.

Chan furrows his eyebrows.

“Do you need me to do it again?”

“N- No,” Hyunjin responds unconvincingly. “…But can y- you give me a hug?”

“I can do that,” the leader smiles, pulling Hyunjin into his embrace before squeezing his arms around him.

The younger boy instantly melts into Chan, all the energy leaving his body as the older holds him.

Everything feels so much less overwhelming. And Hyunjin feels his anxiety decrease instantly as he snuggles into the older’s arms.

“Would you like to talk now and cuddle later or cuddle now and talk later?” the leader proposes.

“We can talk, hyung,” Hyunjin whispers back, fighting back a yawn as he pushes himself more into the hug, letting Chan know that he doesn’t want to pull back just yet.

“Thank you, love,” the older sighs in relief. “…Can you walk me through what happened at practice today? As I said before, that seemed very unlike you. I’ve never even seen you that mad before, baby.”

Hyunjin nods in agreement to his words.

“I don’t know, Channie-hyung. I just felt so- so irritated and upset. Everything was just so annoying. And- And Minho-hyung was making the same mistake and the music was playing over and over and over again. It was just- just horrible…and I felt so angry, hyung-,” Hyunjin expresses, the frustration clear in his tone as his hands unconsciously tighten into fists.

Chan moves back a bit, putting a small amount of distance in between them so he can look Hyunjin in the eye while still holding him close.

“Jinnie…” the leader trails off, focusing his attention on gently uncurling Hyunjin’s fists before looking him in the eye again. “I think what you might’ve experienced was sensory overload. Or you were at least feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated…because it doesn’t sound to me like you were mad at Min at all.”

Hyunjin nods his head slowly in response, knowing that it was never Minho’s mistakes that had irritated him. Minho is so talented and works so hard at dance that Hyunjin is always impressed with him. His hyung is so inspiring and always encourages Hyunjin to work hard and take care of himself well. There was never even a second where Hyunjin had ever thought Minho was bad at dancing or that he was better than his second-oldest boyfriend. He loves and respects Minho dearly just like he always will.

“What’s a uh- sensory overload, hyungie?” Hyunjin hesitantly asks.

“Sensory overload is where…your senses are getting too much input than you know how to process. Like if there’s just so many things going on around you that your brain gets- your brain gets overwhelmed and can’t process everything fast enough,” Chan tries to explain, wincing at his poor explanation but hoping that it was enough for the boy to somewhat understand.

“Is that-. Is that what happened to Sungie at that one concert where he couldn’t focus and got really anxious?” Hyunjin asks slowly.

“Yes,” Chan answers, remembering clearly the first time they had dealt with Jisung experiencing sensory overload.

It was horrible to see the boy break down like that while the staff members would do nothing to help and completely disregarded how Jisung was feeling. Chan had never been so angry in his life. It was one thing to not understand what Jisung was going through but to not listen to him when he was clearly and politely asking them for a break or to turn down the music and lights for a second was horrible. Luckily, the leader had gotten to him just in time and quickly called over their manager to deal with the staff members and to ask permission for Jisung to sit out for as long as he needed since they had a while until the actual concert would start. But if the treatment had continued for even a minute longer and their manager wasn’t there to take care of it, Chan doesn’t know what he would’ve done.

“I feel like that’s what happened to you with the music,” the leader continues, eyeing Hyunjin’s reaction.

“Felt- Felt like the sound was attacking me,” the younger quietly admits, before registering what he said and flinching away from Chan.

The oldest simply smiles reassuringly and Hyunjin relaxes back into him once he’s sure Chan isn’t going to laugh.

“Jisung described it as his senses being heightened to every little thing around him…, do you remember?”

“Yeah… He told me he has a hard time focusing on one thing because his focus keeps switching from one thing to another and- and I told him I do the same thing sometimes. But during- during sensory overload, Jisung-ah- he- he said everything came in all at once. Like- Like everything was at the same volume, blaring in his ears at the same time,” Hyunjin mutters more to himself than Chan, recalling the day after the concert where the two had curled up in bed together and the boy had apprehensively asked Jisung about the concert, not knowing if the younger would even feel comfortable talking to him or want to open up to Hyunjin at all.

“Yeah,” Chan breaths out softly.

“I don’t want to assume that you felt a similar way, but how you were acting made me worry that it might be-”

“The lights too,” Hyunjin interrupts.

“Huh?” Chan asks in utter confusion.

“The lights…they hurt too. And my shirt- my shirt was too itchy,” the younger says, glaring over at his crumpled-up t-shirt on the ground.

“It has tags, doesn’t it?” the leader hums back.

“Yeah,” Hyunjin nods.

“Seungmin-ah doesn’t like tags either,” the older giggles as he catches sight of Hyunjin giving his shirt the stink-eye.

The younger boy’s face snaps back up at the
noise before he laughs too.

He shuffles in closer to the leader, sitting fully on Chan’s lap as the older holds him and comfortingly draws shapes on the bare skin on Hyunjin’s shoulder.

“I felt gross, hyung,” Hyunjin whispers, his previous laughter forgotten as a more serious and hesitant expression befalls his face. “I felt disgusting. And every time the music started again, I felt even worse- Felt- felt too much.”

“I’m sorry you were feeling that way, Hyunie. I should have noticed sooner and taken you out of the practice room or let you borrow my headphones to help,” the oldest apologizes, having felt extremely guilty the whole ride back for not noticing Hyunjin’s behavior before things got out of hand.

‘I could have easily helped the situation if I had just been a better leader and noticed before Hyunjin got completely overwhelmed and Minho got scared and slipped before he was ready for us to know about his headspace,’ he sighs to himself in his head.

“‘S not your fault,” Hyunjin slurs back as if having sensed the leader's thoughts, his voice muffled by where his face lays on Chan’s shoulder. “It was my fault and I’m sorry it happened, Chan-hyung.”

“Love-, it’s okay,” Chan’s heart breaks. “You didn’t know what was going on and although it wasn’t okay to yell at Minho-ah, it wasn’t your fault that your brain responded the way that it did. It wasn’t your fault at all, Jinnie. And it’s a very common thing that happens especially to people with autism spectrum disorder or ADHD or anxiety or people with none of those things, too! So next time, we can look into it more and find ways that will help you so you and I both know what to do if you experience it again in the future.”

As soon as the oldest is done speaking, Hyunjin is wrenching himself out of his arms and shaking his head rapidly. His face is pale as he mutters a continuous stream of “No, hyung. I don’t- No, no, no!”

“What’s going on, love? Are you-”

“It wasn’t sensory overload, hyung,” Hyunjin bursts out, looking unnerved and fearful as he stares back at the other.

“What do you mean, Hyunie?” Chan asks calmly.

“It- It can’t be, hyung! I don’t have-! I’m not-. No. No, Chan-hyung, I don’t- I don’t have ADHD. I can’t, hyung. I don’t have it; I don’t,” Hyunjin freaks out, his lips trembling and eyes welling up as he pleads with Chan to understand him.

“What-? No- No, I said it could happen to anybo- Oh- Oh, baby,” the leader gasps in realization, finally picking up on the fact that Hyunjin only mentioned ADHD and not any of the other
things Chan had mentioned.

“I don’t, hyung. I’m not like Sungie. Sungie has ADHD and- and anxiety. That’s why he has- he has sensory overloads, but I- I don’t, hyung. I don’t-,” Hyunjin whispers brokenly, his voice dwindling down with every word as he stares at Chan with a mixture of fear and distress.

“Fuck,” the leader curses, reaching his arms out to draw Hyunjin back into a hug.

“It’s okay, love. You’re okay, Hyunie,” he reassures, squeezing Hyunjin tightly as the boy’s body shakes with sobs that he barely manages to choke back.

“I don’t want it, hyung. I don’t want it!” Hyunjin cries out.

“I know, baby, I know. You're okay though, yeah? I’ve got you, okay?” Chan soothes, peppering small kisses on Hyunjin’s shoulder.

Hyunjin squeezes his eyes shut, pushing back the overwhelming urge to cry as he clings back onto the leader.

“Baby, ADHD can present itself in so many different ways. It’s a spectrum, yeah? There’s the hyperactive and impulsive type- and the inattentive type and the combined type, like Jisung-ah has. I know you’re not like Sungie, love, but you don’t have to be like him to have ADHD. Everyone is different, Jinnie. And- And it’s okay to have ADHD, baby! I don’t know where you got it in your head that you can’t have ADHD, but I promise you that you’re completely valid. ADHD doesn’t change who you are just like how my depression doesn’t change who I am. I’m still your Channie-hyung and you’re still our Hyunjinnie,” Chan whispers gently when he feels Hyunjin has significantly calmed down.

“Still our Channie-hyung,” the younger parrots back softly, making the older smile encouragingly.

“And still our Hyunjinnie, our prince,” Chan murmurs back, pecking the other on the nose.

“My mom,” Hyunjin whispers after a while of sitting in silence.

“What about her?” Chan replies.

“She was the one who told me I didn’t have ADHD. I- I researched it when I was a kid because I felt like something was- something was…” Hyunjin trails off, swallowing harshly. “But she said I was just being dramatic like always. And- And I dated someone-”

Chan listens attentively as Hyunjin struggles through his words.

“I’ve told all of you about them before. But they- they said my mom was right and laughed at me when I would try to open up about- certain things.”

“Love, can you look at me?” the leader asks softly before Hyunjin hesitantly meets his eyes. “I just want you to know that they had no right saying that to you. I can't even imagine how hard and frustrating it must have felt to have your feelings dismissed like that and not be taken seriously by the people who are supposed to care about you. And I don’t know if it matters anymore, but, Hyunie…I believe you, love.”

“It matters,” Hyunjin smiles, his eyes teary as he leans in to kiss the older softly.

Chan hums into the kiss, bringing up his hands to wipe away the few tears that have escaped Hyunjin’s eyes before pulling away.

“That’s also why I’ve been more sensitive lately,” Hyunjin admits, his eyes wide and vulnerable as he opens up to Chan.

“This relationship is really new. And after- after dating them, I keep worrying that you guys will eventually leave me too,” the younger smiles sadly.

“I promise we aren’t going to leave you,” the older boy responds seriously. “I’ll never leave you behind, Jinnie. We love you so much and I can assure you that none of us are like your shitty ex.”

The other smiles back, unsure but still feeling comforted by the leader’s kind reassurances.

“I feel like I cry over every little thing now,” he laughs humorlessly.

“It’s okay to have emotions, love,” Chan frowns.

Hyunjin giggles at his upset face and leans in to capture his lips again, sighing into the kiss when Chan reciprocates.

Suddenly, the younger boy is pulling back.

Chan gives him a perplexed look as the younger’s cheeks flush pink and he lets out an embarrassed laugh.

“Um- maybe I should- put back on a shirt.”

The oldest laughs loudly.

“Go get your shirt and then we can cuddle until dinner.”

“Okay, hyung!” Hyunjin chirps back, rolling off the bed to retrieve his shirt.

“Hyunjin-ah, do you want me to put mine back on or-”

“No! That’s okay, hyung,” the other hurriedly rushes out.

“Oh? So you just wanted to admire my abs then?” Chan giggles, wiggling his eyebrows at his younger boyfriend.

“NO, I DO NOT!” Hyunjin yells back, only making the leader laugh even harder.

“Fine then, no cuddles for you,” the younger crosses his arms.

“No! No, love. I’m sorry. Hyung’s sorry,” Chan pleads, holding out his arms for Hyunjin.

“Fine,” the younger pouts.

“Here’s your shirt by the way,” he continues, handing his boyfriend back his t-shirt.

“But, Hyunie, I thought you wanted to admire my-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, HYUNG!” Hyunjin shouts back before they both dissolve into laughter once more.

Chapter Text

Dinner is awkward, that much is for sure. Hyunjin hasn’t looked up from his plate since they sat down and the only time he has said more than a word to Minho was to thank him for making their meal. The others are trying to keep the conversation going but Minho is also not saying much, instead just anxiously smoothing his hands up and down his thighs underneath the table while occasionally glancing over to Hyunjin.

Luckily, with the exception of the second-oldest, Hyunjin seems to be able to talk and joke with the other members just fine. They all just have to pointedly ignore how forced Hyunjin’s voice comes out and how his laughs sound a little more higher-pitched than normal.

The rest of the members are trying their best to make dinner as normal as possible but they can each tell the whole group feels on edge right now with the way Hyunjin is clearly ignoring Minho and how the second-oldest has barely said a word.

Felix is pushing his food around on his plate while Jisung laughs just a bit too loudly at a joke Seungmin makes. And Changbin is being not so subtle with his glances between Hyunjin and Minho.

Chan is doing his best to pretend everything is fine and normal but can’t help the concerned furrow of his brow as he tries to focus his attention on the conversation he’s having with Jeongin and Seungmin instead of the obvious tension hanging in the air.

Luckily, the uncomfortable pauses in conversation are filled with the members shoveling food into their mouths to have an excuse not to talk so they are done with dinner rather quickly.

“That’s all you're going to eat?” Chan asks both Felix and Hyunjin, who both nod hurriedly before exiting the kitchen.

Felix heads straight over to Jeongin, who is already on the couch and settles in next to him, grabbing a blanket to cover them both.

Hyunjin, on the other hand, is quick to start walking towards the hallway with the intent to head back to his room.

Seungmin catches him in the doorway of the kitchen before Hyunjin can even make it out into the living room.

“We’re talking in the living room. No running away,” he states loudly so everyone can hear as he tightens his hold around Hyunjin’s wrist.

Changbin and Jisung nod back at him with small smiles before the younger of the two shuffles past Seungmin and Hyunjin to sit next to Felix on the couch.

“Let go,” Hyunjin mutters quietly to Seungmin, who quickly releases his grip around the other’s wrist.

Seungmin swallows.

“Let’s go to the couch,” he offers.

Hyunjin pauses before nodding in agreement and walking with Seungmin over to the sofa.

“I think we can leave these for later,” the leader remarks, waving a hand over all the dirty dishes.

“Yeah,” Changbin confirms, setting down another glass in the sink before they both turn back and look at Minho.

“What?” Minho sighs back, getting up from the table to put his plate up and then leaving the kitchen without another word.

Changbin shrugs while the oldest lets out a sigh and shoots his boyfriend a tired smile.

“C’mon, hyung,” Changbin smiles back, tugging at his hand to get them both moving towards the living room.
____________________________________________________________________________

“I need to apologize to all of you,” Hyunjin immediately starts once everyone gets comfortable on the couch.

Chan startles at the suddenness of Hyunjin’s words but smiles nonetheless, patting the boy’s thigh lightly for encouragement for him to continue.

Hyunjin looks at the leader sitting next to him and takes a shaky breath.

“I’m so sorry to all of you for what happened during dance practice. Especially to Minho-hyung, I was acting horribly and I’m really sorry for my behavior. Hyung-,” he pauses, looking over to Minho, who’s sitting at the far end of the couch.

His boyfriend is staring down at the floor, unmoving until Hyunjin says his name again.

“Minho-hyung.”

Minho hesitantly meets Hyunjin’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry for what I said, hyungie. I didn’t mean it at all. Please- please know that I didn’t mean a word of it. I was frustrated and overwhelmed and I took it out on you when you didn’t deserve it, hyung,” Hyunjin’s voice breaks as he holds eye contact with the older. “Hyung, you’re not a bad dancer. Or annoying for making mistakes. You’re- You’re so fucking good at dancing. And- And you work so h- hard and you’re so- so fucking talented.”

“I’ve always looked up to you, hyung. And I’m sorry for scaring you. And I’m sorry for yelling. And I’m sorry for everything that I said. And-,” the boy sniffles.

“It’s okay,” Minho interrupts, concern playing on his face as he hears the younger’s voice start to sound pained and broken. “It’s okay, Hyunjinnie. I know you didn’t mean it. It’s okay.”

Hyunjin lets out a whimper and shakes his head as tears gather in his eyes.

“It’s not okay, hyung. It’s really not,” he sobs out, moving his hands up to wipe at his already irritated eyes.

“No, baby. I’ve got you. We’ve got you,” Seungmin mutters, reaching over Chan to hold both of Hyunjin’s hands before he has the chance to wipe at his already puffy, red eyes.

“Chan-hyung,” Hyunjin calls out weakly, giving the leader a pleading look.

“You want me to tell them, love?” Chan checks in a soothing voice.

Hyunjin nods, taking deep breaths to force the tears back.

“I think- Jinnie and I think,” Chan corrects himself. “…that he might’ve been experiencing sensory overload during practice and that’s what resulted in him getting irritated at Minho having to keep redoing the part of the song.”

The leader makes sure to keep his voice as gentle and kind as he can for both Hyunjin and Minho, trying his best to explain what had happened without revealing anything else Hyunjin had told him.

“Oh- Oh, baby,” Felix coos sympathetically.

Jisung leans over with a sad smile to kiss Hyunjin softly on the forehead.

The other boy blinks up at him and Jisung sends him a comforting smile. He, of all people, knows how hard it can be to experience sensory overloads, especially without even knowing what they are and only knowing that you feel scared, exhausted, and overwhelmed in the moment. And Jisung is proud of Hyunjin for even talking to them right now and opening up to Chan before because he knows how draining sensory overloads can be.

“Was it the music?” Seungmin asks. “…that made you feel overstimulated? And we were talking too, trying to get you both to calm down. Did that make it worse, Jinnie?”

“I’m so sorry,” Hyunjin sobs out in reply, disregarding Seungmin’s words and looking only at Minho.

“Hey, Hyunjin-ah, I forgive you, okay?” Minho states firmly, walking over to the boy and kneeling down beside his spot on the couch. “I promise that I’m not mad. I noticed how you were acting off but I just thought it was because you were angry that I fucked up that once dance part. I promise you that it’s okay. I’m fine, Jinnie.”

“No! It’s not just okay, hyung. I- I made you regress when you weren’t- you weren’t ready to tell us yet. And- And you said you only- you only do it not on purpose when you- because- because of trauma. An’ I made you- relive that. I-,” Hyunjin refuses to listen, getting more and more worked up as his eyes water and threaten to spill over.

“Babe, look at me,” Changbin instructs, moving in beside Minho, who quickly scooches to give him room.

“You’re okay, Jinnie. You’re so good, honey, I promise you. Like Minho-hyung said, no one’s mad at you. Having sensory overload is not your fault. We only wish that we could’ve seen it sooner and helped you. You’re increíble, babe. You’re so sweet and amazing and Minho-hyung knows that you didn’t mean what you said,” Changbin reassures.

Hyunjin can feel even more tears prickling in his eyes as the sweet words Changbin says overwhelm his whole body, his cheeks flushing red at the praise.

He hears Changbin audibly gasp before he registers the hot tears rolling down his face.

“Fuck. Sorry, Jinnie. Am I making it worse?” the older worries, lifting his body up to gently brush away the tears as Seungmin still holds Hyunjin’s hands firmly in his grasp.

The other boy shakes his head as another sob pushes its way out of his lips.

“J- Just overwhelmed,” he finally gets out, voice strained.

“Shit, sorry, baby,” Changbin apologizes, feeling bad for making their prince cry.

The boy only shakes his head once more, letting his head fall forward onto Changbin’s shoulder.

“So you weren’t uncomfortable with my Littlespace?” Minho asks in a tight voice, his expression hard but his eyes swirling with uncertainty as he looks up at Hyunjin.

“What? No! No, of course not, hyung, I-,” the younger cries out.

He’s interrupted by Minho shooting up from the ground and tackling him in a bear hug.

Hyunjin holds his boyfriend back, his mouth dropped open in shock as the older boy straddles his lap and hugs him tightly around the neck.

“Thought you didn’t like Minho because you- you didn’t like that Min’s a Little,” the second-oldest mumbles into Hyunjin’s shoulder, his voice sounding teary and scared.

“Of course not, baby. I like both little and big you. I swear that I’m not uncomfortable with your headspace at all, baby,” Hyunjin promises, winding his arms around Minho’s waist and tugging him closer so Minho can sit down more comfortably on his lap.

Changbin slowly moves from the floor and onto Seungmin’s lap, a frown present on his face when Minho doesn’t reply back to Hyunjin.

Seungmin is just as worried if that weren’t evident by the way that he lets Changbin sit on top of him without complaint.

“Minho?” Jisung calls, purposefully leaving out the honorifics after hearing the way their boyfriend had started referring to himself in the third-person.

“Baby?” Felix gasps out after Jisung shoots the rest of them a look.

And finally, to everyone’s relief, the boy in Hyunjin’s arms replies.

“‘M not a baby. ‘M your hyung.”

Jeongin raises an eyebrow at Chan who sits beside him on the couch at the subtle slurring of Minho’s words, which could be written off as being muffled by Hyunjin’s shoulder had they not known that Minho was planning on regressing later today.

“Are you feeling tiny right now?” Changbin inquires, keeping his voice quiet as he looks on in curious eyes.

“Nuh-uh, fweel nowmal,” Minho’s voice answers.

“Kitten…,” Chan warns, his eyes narrow as it’s now incredibly obvious that the boy is feeling little right now and probably needs to regress sooner than later.

Minho whines cutely into Hyunjin’s shoulder, shielding his face from the member’s view. The younger calms him by petting his hair and running his fingers up one of Minho’s arms.

“Are you feeling little? Don’t lie,” the leader repeats.

“No! Lino no wittle wight now!” the younger boy shouts back.

It’s evident from his tone that the boy is pouting now into Hyunjin’s shoulder.

By now everyone can tell that he is feeling small so what’s stopping him from slipping?

“Min, you know you can slip if you need to,” Jisung sing-songs to him, caressing Minho’s back from where he sits next to Hyunjin.

There’s a small pause before Minho hesitantly speaks again.

“No. Jinnie’s upset. Wan’ Jinnie to be okay ‘gain. Can no be wittle, Sungie.”

“Oh no, Minho, baby. I’m fine with you being little right now,” Hyunjin is quick to object.

“Bu’…Jinnie sad?” Minho mumbles back, pulling away from the boy a bit to look him in the eyes.

Hyunjin stares back into Minho’s now wide and glossy eyes and smiles gently at the Little.

“If you feel comfortable enough around me to regress then that’d make me so happy, my baby. You’re too cute, Min. And I would love to eventually…maybe become one of your caregivers along with the rest of our boyfriends.”

“Jinnie no hate MinMin?” Minho asks shyly.

Hyunjin’s heart breaks at his words but he manages to keep a smile on for his boyfriend.

“No, baby. I love little you and big you just like I said before.”

Minho doesn’t say anything for a moment.

Hyunjin holds his breath but soon giggles start falling out of the older boy’s mouth.

Hyunjin lets out a sigh of relief, knowing that Minho let himself slip fully and that he felt comfortable enough to regress in front of them even if it’s only for today.

“What’s so funny, hm?” Chan laughs.

Minho turns to face him with a gummy smile, his hands clapping excitedly for no apparent reason.

“Innie!” the Little gasps, catching a sight of the maknae sitting next to their leader.

Jeongin looks up from where he had been zoning out for a second and smiles back at his boyfriend.

“Wanna come here, Min?”

Seungmin swears he’s never seen their boyfriend nod so fast as he gets up and scampers over to the maknae.

“Hi, angel,” Jeongin giggles happily, his face stretching so wide in happiness that he’s afraid his cheeks are going to start hurting.

Minho freezes at the words, his whole face going red as he blushes furiously before letting out a tiny whimper and hiding away in the crook of Jeongin’s neck.

The maknae gasps in surprise, his mouth open wide in shock.

“Min, do you want to come say hello to me instead, ange-,” Felix makes to call out before being rudely interrupted by Jeongin.

“Only I can call him that,” the maknae hisses, making Felix scoff before bursting into loud laughter.

Changbin snorts at that, bopping Jeongin on the head with a fist.

This makes Minho peek out of Jeongin’s arms to pout over at Changbin.

The boy barely restrains himself from cooing as his pursed lips and furrowed brows make Minho look about as intimidating as a baby kitten.

“Bin huwt Innie,” he pouts at Seungmin, who immediately shoves the boy clean off his lap in response.

“Ouch! Fuck!” Changbin yells as he crashes to the ground.

“DON’T CURSE IN FRONT OF THE BABY!” Jisung gasps in horror, rushing over to take Minho into his arms.

He barely stifles a groan at Minho’s weight. Although a younger age mentally, the second oldest is still (sadly) the same weight as normal and Jisung has never thanked all those days he’s been recently going to work out more than in this moment.

Minho wraps his legs tightly around the boy’s torso and curls his hands into the fabric of his shirt.

Jisung hurries back over to his spot before setting the Little down.

Minho whines instantly at having to stand up on his own, not enjoying the feeling of being put down.

“One second, honey,” Jisung dismisses as he flops back onto his place on the sofa and reaches his arms up to spin Minho around and then tug the older down with him.

“Sungie!” Minho shrieks, wild laughter spilling from his mouth as he’s twirled around then pulled to sit down on Jisung’s lap.

His boyfriend winds an arm around Minho’s waist and lets the Little relax back against his chest, starting to play with his fingers.

“Sweetie,” Felix taps Minho on the shoulder, who looks up with wide eyes.

“Do you think you could show us Hae now?”

Minho jumps up happily, his whole face lighting up at the prospect of showing his friends his stuffie. Only, when little, the boy’s motor control is not as stellar as it usually is when he’s big so he is almost instantly tipping forward.

Before he can hit the floor though, Chan catches him against his chest.

“What the fuck?” Jeongin whispers, his eyes wide.

It was like Chan had a seventh sense for when the members were going to unintentionally get themselves hurt. ‘Or maybe he has super speed,’ the maknae thinks to himself.

The leader lets out a sigh of relief, pulling back from Minho only to find the boy laughing loudly as if almost falling had been the best thing that ever happened to him.

“Aigo-,” Chan groans, shaking his head fondly.

“He’s so adorable,” Seungmin sighs, looking over at the two affectionately.

“He really is,” Changbin agrees from his spot sprawled out on the ground.

“Should we go get Hae now, kitten?” Chan asks, already scooping Minho into his arms.

“Yes, Channie! Yes, hyungie, wan’ Hae, pwease!”

“Aw, so polite. You’re so sweet, kitty,” the older praises, the words paying off when the boy in his arms squeals before throwing his head back and laughing adorably.
____________________________________________________________________________

When Chan and Felix arrive back in the living room, the latter of the two having tagged along on their journey to retrieve Minho’s stuffie, Minho is whining for Chan to put him down.

The leader is confused since it seemed to him like the Little preferred to be carried places instead of walking on his own, but he complies nonetheless.

Giggles spill from Minho’s lips as he sprints over to the couch.

“HYUNGIE, LOOK!”

Then he takes the reminding steps and is pouncing at Hyunjin, who winces but is quick to steady the boy on his lap so he doesn’t end up falling accidentally.

“HYUNG, WOOK! MINMIN GOT HAE!” Minho shouts, holding the tiny stuffed animal cat up for Hyunjin to see.

The younger boy’s eyes widen comically before he freezes, staring back at Minho in utter shock.

The others all still too, not having ever expected to hear those words come out of Minho’s mouth when addressing Hyunjin.

The silence makes the Little shift uncomfortably, his eyes darting around the room to all their surprised faces.

Minho feels afraid as the silence stretches on, the stress of the situation only building when still no one is saying anything.

“J- Jinnie-hyun-,” Minho freezes before he can finish, tensing up completely on Hyunjin’s lap.

The others all stare on in silence, too stunned to move.

“I’m so sorry,” Minho’s voice comes out as a horrified whisper.

He shuffles off of Hyunjin’s lap and stands before them, appearing just as shocked as the others.

“I’m- I’m so sorry, Hyunjin-ah. I didn’t- I don’t know why I called you that, I- Hyunjin-,” the second-oldest breaks off, his body shaking slightly either from so abruptly slipping out of headspace or due to how afraid he looks right now, Hyunjin isn’t sure.

“No…Gosh, no. Don’t- Please don’t be sorry, h- hyung,” Hyunjin finally breaths out before switching tactics when Minho still seems to look petrified of his words while little.

“I don’t mind, MinMin,” he says gently now, making the older’s gaze shoot up in disbelief.

‘You should mind. I’m older. I’m older than you. I’m your hyung not the other way around,’ Minho replies in his brain.

‘I’m so disgusting, calling him that. He’s younger! He’s younger and I- God, I’m so gross. This isn’t normal. I shouldn't even be a Little in the first place. I’m not cute and I’m not tiny and I’m too old to be regressing. I-,” his thoughts are cut off by the next words the Hyunjin utters.

“I can be your hyung, baby.”

Those words cause the fuzzy feeling to return almost full force, his eyes blinking rapidly at Hyunjin as his lower lip trembles.

Minho squeezes his eyes shut at the onslaught of harsh words in his head before forcing himself to zone out again. The floaty feeling returns and he lets himself comfortably slip back into that headspace, trying to relax his mind and focus on Hyunjin’s words.

‘He doesn’t mind that I’m Little. Jinnie wants to be my caregiver. All of them do,’ he repeats in his mind as he slowly slips back into Littlespace.
____________________________________________________________________________

The next half hour or so consist of Minho watching the first episode of Pororo the Little Penguin since both Seungmin and Jisung were horrified that the boy hadn’t even watched a single episode of the show.

“He has to watch it, hyung,” Jisung insists for the eleventh time.

“Does he even want to watch it?” Chan shoots back, looking done with the two of them.

“It’s an academy award winner, Channie-hyung,” Seungmin stresses.

“Is it really, puppy?” Changbin asks in confusion.

“…No.”

Despite this, the members ultimately decide to watch the first episode together so Minho could “get a feel for the show” as Jisung insisted.

“P- Powo- Po- Porowo!” Minho cheers.

The Little had been practicing how to say the little penguin’s name for almost the full duration of the show.

“You did it!” Seungmin exclaims, making Changbin grin over at him.

The boy definitely had a soft spot for Little Minho.

“Ugh, you’re so cute,” Changbin groans out, rushing over to the pair sitting on the ground in front of the television to grab Seungmin and haul him into his arms.

The boy lets out a scream at the sudden action. Then Changbin is running to the kitchen and back in a full circle as Seungmin laughs and laughs in his arms.

Minho pouts sadly at that and because one of his Pororo buddies was taken away from him.

Seungmin is soon set down on the couch, breathless and panting as he holds a hand to his heart.

“Hyung, you scared me grabbing me like that,” he pants.

Changbin laughs evilly before Jisung is calling out for him.

“Changbin-hyung!” he says, gesturing to the boy seated next to him.

The older boy quickly turns around to see Minho making grabby hands up at him with a heart-breakingly sad pout on his lips.

“Binnie,” Minho calls quietly from his spot on the floor, the remaining five minutes of the episode forgotten.

“Aw! Does our little one want to be carried like a princess too,” Changbin gushes, his weakness for cute things showing in the way that he doesn’t even hesitate before going over and carrying Minho as well.

The Little shrieks excitedly, endless laughter falling from his lips and making Changbin smile. He’s never seen Minho act so carefree before unless the boy was either eating the food he made with his boyfriends or dancing to a new choreography he just learned. ‘Or…slapping somebody's ass during a performance.’ Changbin mentally adds. But that’s beside the point.

By the time Minho is set down as well, the Little looks exhausted. He curls up against Hyunjin’s side, who happens to be the closest person to his right and his thumb easily slips into his mouth.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Felix says gently, crouching down to Minho’s level and booping the Little’s nose.

“Do you have a uh- ‘dummy’?” he continues, his lips curling upwards when his boyfriend's nose scrunches up.

“Channie-hyung, what’s ‘dummy’?” Felix quickly asks.

“Pacifier,” Chan calls back in Korean before going back to trying to steal Jeongin’s snacks.

“Thank you!” Felix calls back then turns his attention back to Minho. “Do you have a pacifier, sweetie?”

Minho opens his eyes blurrily before shaking his head at the question.

“Onwy Hae,” he slurs out from around the thumb between his lips.

Felix frowns at his response but the Little seems unbothered as his eyes close once again.

“Baby, do you-”

“Sweepy, Lixie,” Minho whines back, interrupting him before he can continue.

“Okay, sweetie, Lixie’s sorry,” Felix smiles softly.

“It’s otay, W- Wixie. No be sowwy,” Minho yawns back.

“You can sleep now, kitten. Cuddle with Jinnie, yeah?” says Chan, coming over to crouch next to Felix and pet Minho’s head with one hand and using the other to brush Hyunjin’s hair back from his face.

Hyunjin sends him a tired smile as Chan grins at the two of them.

Minho whines in response, clinging to Hyunjin even more than he was earlier and making a small sound at the back of his throat in content.

“You should sleep too, baby,” Jisung leans over to address Hyunjin.

The boy simply nods tiredly, his eyes also slipping shut when Jisung reaches up to softly pet his cheek.
____________________________________________________________________________

Minho wakes up from his nap with his stomach grumbling. His nerves about Hyunjin being weirded out by his headspace and not accepting of him had made him instantly lose his appetite so he hadn’t eaten much at dinner.

“You hungry? The others are making a light night snack in the kitchen. They’ll be done in a few minutes,” a gentle voice calls.

"Hyunjinnie?" Minho grunts out, his vision still blurred from sleep as he sits up on the couch and turns towards the boy whose lap he was using as a pillow.

“Yes," Hyunjin says, his voice shaky as he smiles down at Minho, still hesitant to speak to the older with the guilt still curling in his gut.

Even though Minho had forgiven him, he still couldn’t get over the fact that he felt that he didn’t deserve to be forgiven. Minho regressing into headspace had only been a momentary distraction from the feeling of regret and remorse he feels for everything that had happened earlier.

"Aigo. Come here, Hyunjinnie. Come to your hyungie," Minho whispers softly, sitting fully upright and opening his arms for Hyunjin to scoot into.

Relief fills Hyunjin instantly plus a little disappointment that he doesn’t get to see more of Minho’s Little side.

“I- I'm sorry, hyun-"

"None of that, darling,” Minho scolds.

Hyunjin sighs but nods in agreement, snuggling closer to the older.

“I-," he starts.

“No apologizing!" Minho cuts him off immediately.

"I wasn't going to say that," Hyunjin protests, whining dramatically.

"Fuck you, hyung," he complains, grumbling into Minho’s shoulder as his boyfriend laughs.

“What were you going to say then?" the older inquires.

“That I- I love you, Minho-hyung," Hyunjin shyly declares.

"O- Oh," Minho says softly, not expecting the response.

“You don't have to say it back to me, hyungie. I just- Just wanted you to know that I do," Hyunjin hurriedly adds, tightening his arms around Minho's waist and burying his face further in Minho's shoulder.

“No, you- you just surprised me, that’s all," Minho laughs breathlessly.

They’re silent for a bit, Minho letting Hyunjin get the comfort that he needs and that he, too, needs just as much as the younger.

And when the others peek into the room from the kitchen to see how the two are doing, they are met with the sight of them hugging each other tightly and are quick to leave them be. The oldest shoots Minho a proud grin that Minho would’ve returned had he not been caught up in his own world.

It felt nice to hug Hyunjin. He was warm and bony and soft. And Minho was so in love because Hyunjin's arms weren’t caging him in, trapping him, scaring him. No, his arms were holding him together as warmth poured into Minho from every side.

His arms were holding him like Minho was the only person he cared about in the moment. They were embracing him and loving him. Minho was holding Hyunjin and the younger was holding him back.

And for the first time, Minho felt completely safe in another's arms.

Hyunjin was holding Minho and letting himself be held back, and Minho was doing the same.

It was a balance.

Because after all, it didn't matter your age, everyone took care of everyone in Stray Kids. Just like how everyone loves everyone in Stray Kids. And Minho loves Hyunjin. He loves Hyunjin and the other six nosy boys, periodically taking turns to watch the two of them from the kitchen with all his heart.

"I love you too, Jinnie."
____________________________________________________________________________

In a few minutes, the rest of the members have settled in on the couch to watch Titanic.

Who chose the Titanic? No one knew. But it was on now and everyone was quite enjoying making fun of Jisung every two seconds for his confession to Jeongin when the two of them had first gotten together while watching this movie. It seemed like so long ago.

The leader has just gotten back from taking all of their garbage and plates into the kitchen to clean along with the dishes from before.

He stands at the start of the kitchen, leaning on the doorway connecting the two rooms in the house as he watches the members fondly from where they lay on the couch.

Jeongin is letting an exhausted Hyunjin lay back against his chest while playing with Changbin’s necklace, who rests his head on Hyuniin’s lap. Chan watches in amusement as Hyunjin sleepily starts running his hands through Changbin’s hair while the both of them look seconds away from falling asleep.

Leaning against Jeongin’s shoulder is Jisung. The boy had been absentmindedly petting Minho’s hair as the boy lounged on the couch beside him. Jisung unconsciously stops his movements and Chan can barely stifle a laugh when Minho scowls back at him and takes Jisung’s hand and places it back on his head for him to continue.

Seungmin has settled in next to Jeongin and if Chan hadn’t noticed the light flush of their cheeks, he wouldn't have noticed the two of them holding hands between their bodies.

Felix is on the ground in front of them and Chan feels a pang of worry at how their cuddle bug is sitting in front of the couch instead of perched on someone’s lap or in someone’s arms like he usually is.

As he drags his gaze up from Felix, the worry only turns into guilt at how tired Hyunjin is looking and the still present puffiness of Minho’s eyes.

Coincidentally, Changbin happens to blink his eyes open from where he had been dozing off with his head resting on Hyunjin’s lap and catches the leader in time to see his face fall.

The look of guilt and hurt present on Chan’s face is enough to get Changbin to blink the sleep out of his eyes and shake off the drowsiness.

“Channie-hyung?” he calls hesitantly, a frown present on his face.

The oldest immediately snaps out of thoughts to look over and smile back at Changbin.

“What’s up, Bin?”

Changbin sits upright and looks back at Chan once more.

“…Nevermind, hyung. Forgot what I was going to say,” he finally mutters uncertainly.

“You’re good, Changbinnie,” Chan waves him off.

Changbin settles back down against the cushions and Jisung’s head tips sideways to find his shoulder.

Chan stares at them once more with a smile on his face before announcing he’s off to bed.
____________________________________________________________________________

As soon as he leaves, Changbin is getting up from the couch (much to Jisung’s complaints) and heading towards the kitchen.

He slips a hand into his front pocket and pulls out his phone before going to Contacts and scrolling down. He finally finds the one he’s looking for and presses call.

“Hello, Changbin-ah, do you need something?”

Chapter Text

This is not a chapter!!

I know a lot of people have had finals and exams or just been stressed getting ready for the holidays. I had a lot of hard final exams this year as well and I do have to say the people who commented on the last chapter about their favorite Stay Kids moments really brightened up my days.

Hearing about some of your favorite moments with SKZ and recalling all the funny shit they always get up made me smile a bit despite how stressed I was.

Your comments really made my day so I’m inviting all of you to comment your favorite Stray Kids moment(s) on this chapter and to read over other peoples comments as well haha!! This might be a weird request but my friends who read this fic agreed with me that reading all the comments was comforting to remember those times during such a busy weeks.

I hope all of you are doing well and have a happy holidays! <3 Make sure to get some rest and allow yourself to take some breaks because family can be draining haha

I’m going to post the question here in case people don’t want to read the other stuff lol:

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE STRAY KIDS MOMENT?? (PLS COMMENT! this can be something from a vlive, something sweet, something funny, something chaotic 👀 whatever ur heart desires haha <3 or just whatever the hell you want! i will respond to whatever u have to say~)

Chapter Text

“ I’ll see what I can do Changbin-ah,” the man’s voice says from the other side of the call.

“Thanks, hyung, I really appreciate it,” Changbin sighs back in relief, tapping absentmindedly on the counter in the kitchen.

“Changbin-hyung, who are you on the phone with?” someone yells from the living room.

Changbin grimaces but the other man only laughs wholeheartedly.

“Looks like the others might be missing you. Go get back to them and I’ll text you when I’m sure I can have it moved.”

“Thank you, hyung,” Changbin expresses his gratitude, smiling down at his feet.

“It’s no trouble, Changbin-ah! Have a good night and get some good sleep. I’ll text you as soon as I can,” the man waves him off.

Changbin thanks him one last time before hanging up and skipping back into the living room.

“Alright! Everyone up! Everyone up and into bed. We have a long practice tomorrow,” he announces, a twinkle in his eyes as he tries to hide the small smile on his face.

The others all groan and Jisung starts loudly complaining before the rest of the members finally relent and trudge down the hall to turn in for the night.

Changbin follows with a sly grin playing on his features, his eyes bright and joyful as he turns off the living room lights before heading to bed himself.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Did you sleep last night at all?” Changbin asks sarcastically, frowning when Chan yawns for the tenth time since he’s entered the kitchen this morning.

“Nope,” Chan laughs heartily.

Only, instead of joking around like they usually do, the younger is frowning back at him.

“What?” Chan furrows his eyebrows, a look of confusion spreading across his features.

Changbin clears his throat, setting his coffee cup into the sink before looking back up at Chan.

“Let’s talk in the living room,” he requests, not waiting for the older to follow as he makes his way out of the kitchen.

“Bin!” Chan grabs his wrist, gaining his attention before he walks all the way out.

“Do you want to talk to just me or the others too?” he asks for clarification after noticing Changbin glancing over to where the living room connects with the hallway leading back to the three bedrooms.

“Uh- the others too,” Changbin hesitates in bemusement at Chan’s question.

“Okay, one, you and I both haven’t had breakfast yet. And two, Hyunjin and Jisung are getting coffee, and Seungmin and Felix-ah went on a quick walk to get ingredients to make a smoothie sometime this week so we’re going to have to wait,” the older explains calmly.

“Fuck, fine,” Changbin grumbles back, shuffling back into the kitchen to open the fridge.

Chan watches in amusement as Changbin pouts at the contents of the fridge, unsure of what to make of it.

“Hyungie…” his boyfriend finally gives up, whining out cutely.

“Do you want me to make us something?” Chan chuckles.

“Yes, please,” Changbin smiles back, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet.

He will have to do his best to patiently wait for their talk until Jisung and Hyunjin come back from getting coffee and Seungmin and Felix return from the store, but in the time being, Changbin will get to enjoy the food being cooked for him by his oldest boyfriend. For some reason, food just tastes a lot better when it’s made or paid for by someone else.
____________________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile, Jisung and Hyunjin are doing just what Chan said; getting coffee together. Or maybe a more accurate statement would be Jisung is getting coffee while Hyunjin is spilling his down the front of his shirt.

“NO! Fuck, fuck, fuck! No! Oh my God. OH MY GOD, IT’S EVERYWHERE! NO! SHIT- SHIT- WHY DID I HAVE TO WEAR THIS SHIRT!” Hyunjin screeches, trying desperately to spot his white shirt with a damp towel.

He cries out in even more distress when Jisung starts laughing at him, quickly ushering him out of the shop before someone hears him cursing or they get thrown out for how loudly he’s yelling.

“IT WON’T GET OUT- Jisung…” he continues in a horrified whisper. “It- Ah! No, no, no, why? Why? WHY? Fuck, I- How did it even spill? Please don’t stain! Please don’t stain.”

“Again?” sighs Jisung. “Don’t tell me this is your favorite shirt too.”

“IT’S NOT!” Hyunjin protests, his mind flashing back to the time he had ruined his favorite shirt after spilling his Americano accidentally before a show.

The stain had eventually gotten out due to the help of one of the older staff members who were more familiar with Hyunjin’s ability to spill drinks and Jeongin’s clumsiness that often led to clothes unintentionally getting dirty. So technically it had not been ruined. But now that Hyunjin doesn’t have the kind woman’s help, what the hell is he going to do?

“But what if it was?” Hyunjin continues, sniffling dramatically as he cries out again in agony when he only seems to be making it worse by trying to get the stain out. “What if it was my favorite shirt, Jisung?”

“Oh, you poor thing,” Jisung teases, reaching a hand up to pet Hyunjin’s cheek.

“Not funny!” the older boy glares back, slapping his hand away.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Jisung laughs back.

“I’m sure if we get home in time we can throw it in the wash and it’ll be as good as new,” he suggests hopefully.

“YOU’RE LYING,” Hyunjin shouts back, looking miserable at the thought of another one of his clothes being ruined by an accidental Americano spill.

Jisung finally decides to take pity on the poor boy and tugs him closer, placing both hands on Hyunjin’s cheeks.

The boy finally looks back into his eyes, making Jisung smile ever so softly before reaching up to kiss Hyunjin’s forehead.

They can’t do much more than that in public. But luckily, the kiss is something pretty unnoticeable from how they’re wrapped up in each other’s arms and Jisung could always play it off as a prank or as a way to annoy Hyunjin if anyone did happen to take a picture.

“It’s no use,” Hyunjin pouts back at Jisung in a quiet voice, his cheeks dusting a light pink at the affection.

“It’s never going to get out,” he whispers, his eyes downturned.

“It’s okay, prince. You can just buy a new one,” Jisung reassures him, squeezing him in a hug quickly before releasing him so they can continue walking.

Hyunjin shakes his head remorsefully.

“I don’t even know where it’s from, Sungie.”

“Just check the tag,” Jisung shoots back, sending the older boy a look.

“…Seungmin doesn’t like tags, Jisung,” Hyunjin responds absentmindedly.

The younger boy's mouth drops open and he nearly stumbles, gripping onto his coffee cup tighter before they have another Hyunjin incident.

“YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU STOLE SEUNGMIN’S SHIRT AND SPILLED COFFEE ALL DOWN OVER THE FRONT-”

Hyunjin doesn’t pay Jisung’s words any mind, still mourning the loss of his white t-shirt.

“This is the worst day ever! I can't believe I spilled coffee on my shirt again,” he purses his lips, finally giving up and throwing the towel he was trying to scrub the stain out of the shirt in the garbage can.

“YOU MEAN SEUNGMIN’S SHIRT!” Jisung yells back in disbelief.
____________________________________________________________________________

After picking up all the ingredients for smoothies, Seungmin and Felix discover a park nearby. They had just happened to stumble upon it after the couple had taken a wrong turn and went through a different street instead of the one they took to normally get back from the grocery store.

“I can’t believe I let you lead on the way back. You have a horrible sense of direction; what was I thinking?” Seungmin mutters regretfully to himself.

“Just smile, Seungmin-ah!” Felix aggressively yells back.

“You got us lost, Lee Felix! There is nothing to smile about!” Seungmin responds viciously.

“BUT I’M TRYING TO TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU!” Felix screams back, huffing as he adjusts his position once more.

Felix angles his phone more, trying to capture Seungmin’s whole body as the boy poses in front of the beautiful scenery of the blossoming pink flowers and huge spruce trees at the park.

Seungmin sighs once again, still looking disgruntled despite the V sign he is holding near his face as he waits for Felix to take the picture.

“Say ‘CHEESE’!” Felix shouts happily, snapping the picture when the younger boy finally yields and gives the camera a small smile.

“Okay, one more!” he says, grinning down at the picture he took of his boyfriend before positioning his phone once more.

“One more,” Seungmin narrows his eyes.

“Yes, yes! Just one more,” Felix promises.

Seungmin locks eyes with the camera and decides on what he’s going to do for the last photo.

“Oh- Oh my God, Seungmin,” Felix breathes out, quickly steadying his hand to take the picture.

He slowly lowers his phone before staring in disbelief at the boy in front of him.

Seungmin stares back and there’s a moment of silence that passes between them.

“YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT!” Felix breaks the short silence.

“SEUNGMIN, YOUR- YOUR EXPRESSION! OH MY- FUCKING GOD!” he shouts at the top of his lungs, startling a poor family walking across the street.

The parents quickly rush their kids down the sidewalk while shooting disapproving looks at Felix from the other side of the street.

Seungmin laughs loudly at Felix's reaction before the air is knocked out of him when his boyfriend decides to tackle into the grass, pushing him flat on the ground with the force of his body.

This doesn’t deter Seungmin, however, as the boy just continues giggling breathlessly.

“We have to post those on Instagram, you know that, right?” Felix breathes out.

Seungmin nods his head, laugher continuing to spill out of his mouth and soon making Felix join him.

Breathless chuckles escape the two of them as Felix lays on top of Seungmin in the grass, the younger’s hands going to Felix’s waist as they laugh together.

Then the older boy begins leaving small, inconspicuous pecks on Seungmin’s lips. Seungmin smiles lovingly back, letting Felix kiss
him sweetly as they lay tangled up in the grass together.

Suddenly, the older boy is gasping and rolling off Seungmin and to the right.

“What are you-”

“Flowers!” Felix interrupts gleefully, plucking one of the small, white, daisy-like flowers from the field.

Seungmin turns to his side, propping his head up. He looks lovingly at his boyfriend who is happily picking as many of the flowers as possible while humming softly to himself.

Eventually, Felix picks enough flowers to deem adequate and they leave the park together. (Luckily, Seungmin had remembered to grab the forgotten groceries they had left by the sign in the park before they had left.)

On the way back to the dorms, Seungmin has one hand holding the bag of food and the other open wide, his palm flat for Felix to lay the delicate flowers he wasn’t using in. Next to him, Felix is diligently working to make small cuts in the flower stems with his nails and then putting another flower through to make a chain.

They’re halfway back when Felix is satisfied with his flower chains. He had made two of them for both him and Seungmin.

The older takes the two chains and connects the ends together by making a larger cut for the first flower to slip through the last one.

“All done!” he says in satisfaction.

Seungmin pauses to let Felix drape the circle of flowers over his hair and helps the other boy do the same.

Felix smiles brightly when he sees the crown on Seungmin’s head.

“You look pretty,” he sighs giddily.

“These will dry and it’ll end up breaking before we even make it home,” Seungmin sighs back, contradictory to the smile forcing the corners of his mouth upwards as he admires the flowers placed on Felix’s head.

The other boy only grins back at him, shaking his head at Seungmin before offering to hold the bag for the rest of their walk home.

(And despite what Seungmin said, it doesn’t stop the boy from wearing the flower crown for the whole rest of the day; and proceeding to glare at Hyunjin when he asks if he could try it on and then again at Jisung and Chan when they ask as well.)
____________________________________________________________________________

“KIM SEUNGMIN, YOU SEXY MOTHERFUCKER!”

This immediately gets everyone’s attention as they look up to see a panting and seething Jisung at the front door with an out-of-breath Hyunjin behind him.

Chan and Changbin had eaten a quick breakfast before settling in on the couch and being joined by Minho, who had just gotten out of the shower, and Jeongin, who had been talking with his friends on the phone.

Seungmin and Felix had also just gotten back, the two of them scurrying in to put the food in the fridge before it got too warm from their walk back.

“Wha-,” the words die instantly on Seungmin’s lips as he freezes, halting in place from where he had been trying to make his way to the couch after washing his hands in the bathroom after returning with Felix.

The rest of the members turn to stare at Jisung from their spots on the couch as well, looking just as perplexed as Seungmin.

Felix also freezes behind Seungmin, before realizing what Jisung means and chuckling lightly before brushing past the frozen boy in front of him and settling in on the couch next to Chan.

“I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!” Jisung exasperates, both hands going to dramatically clutch at his head.

“What did I do?” Seungmin asks, looking beyond confused as Jisung steps more into the house.

Hyunjin stays close behind, finally closing the front door before leaning down and bracing his hands on both his knees as he gulps for breath.

“Did you run all the way here?” Chan questions in astonishment at how breathless the two look.

“J- Jisung made u- us,” Hyunjin breathes out in response.

“DID YOU SEE THE POST ON INSTAGRAM?” Jisung shouts, his eyes wide as he opens the app and walks over to the couch.

He clicks on the latest post and swipes until he gets to the last photo. Then he’s shoving the phone under the leader’s nose.

Chan swats away his hand to push it back a bit for him to actually see them before his eyes widen.

The other members on the couch all scrunch in closer to see the photo Jisung is screaming his head off about.

As soon as Felix takes a look at the screen, he’s bursting into laughter again, his suspicions confirmed.

Seungmin then walks over, leaning over the back of the couch before cocking his head in confusion and turning his attention toward Jisung.

It was the pictures Felix had taken of Seungmin at the park and the few they took together while walking back to the dorms.

“HE’S SMIRKING!” Jisung yells again as if accusing Seungmin of an unforgivable crime.

“Fuck,” Hyunjin articulates, finally getting his breath back. “He’s- He looks so fucking hot in that picture.”

“No, he just is so fucking hot. It doesn’t make sense. How are you cute and hot at the same time?” Jisung glares at Seungmin.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Seungmin shoots back, his eyes narrowed.

“Jisung, what the fuck?” someone mutters from the couch.

“You are wearing a fucking puffy jacket, Seungmin-ah. You look almost as bad as Minho’s all brown outfit he wore that one time and yet here you are…looking like a whole damn meal,” Jisung sneers, taking a step closer to Seungmin, who steps back and away from where he was leaning against the back of the couch to see the photos.

“HEY! YOU SAID YOU LIKED MY OUTFIT!” Minho roars from the couch.

“I loved your outfit, hyung. You know that, honey,” Jisung quickly corrects himself, looking mildly terrified as he pats the glaring boy’s head.

“I was staying warm! I’m taking care of myself, Jisung,” Seungmin says back, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You had no damn right to look that sexy out in a field of fucking flowers, Minnie,” Jisung repeats again.

“What has Nevertheless done to you,” he whispers in a quieter voice.

It was like watching that show had awakened something inside of Seungmin. Jisung swears something shifted after the boy started watching the drama on Netflix and the older boy wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

Seungmin frowns, looking unimpressed with Jisung.

There’s a second of silence as the two lock eyes with each other, glaring, before Jisung’s expression softens.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks abruptly.

The younger looks taken aback for a second before nodding ever so slightly and walking closer to Jisung.

“Fuck you. You’re so pretty, Minnie. You and Lixie looked so cute,” Jisung mumbles, leaning closer to the boy.

The rest of the members sit in shock as they witness the sudden turnaround.

Seungmin smiles softly back at Jisung.

“I don’t know if I’m hot. All I did was smirk, but thanks,” he laughs lightly.

Jisung frowns back.

“No, baby. You’re very hot. And fucking sexy…if you ever smirk like that again, I’m going to lose my mind.”

The younger’s cheeks turn a light pink at the other’s words before Jisung closes the space between them and connects their lips.

Jisung’s hands move up to gently cradle the back of Seungmin’s face while the younger pushes closer to him and tilts his head, one arm wrapping around the other’s waist while the other clutches at Jisung’s arm.

The two finally break apart to breathe and Jisung grins back at the younger.

“Please never smirk again. You do not know what you put me and Hyunjinnnie through when we saw your picture,” he groans.

Seungmin grins at that, picturing the sight of his boyfriends gawking at his post on Instagram as he reaches up to adjust the flower crown on his head.

“It’s true. I- The way you were looking at the camera, Seungmin-ah,” Hyunjin trails off. “God, I- I like you so much, you know? You’re so sexy.”

“I agree. Fuck, Minnie. I can't believe you’re going to attack Stay with this so early in the morning,” Chan jokes breathlessly.

Seungmin turns to him and winks teasingly.

Chan’s face floods with color immediately as he lets out a strangled gasp.

Changbin, sitting next to the leader, is not faring any better.

“That was really fucking attractive. You bastard,” he says dejectedly to Seungmin, his own cheeks blushing red.

“Seungmin-hyung, you’re sexy, why would you say you aren’t? This is proof enough right here,” Jeongin says plainly, a wide smile on his face as his neck and cheeks flush a pink color as he waves Jisung's phone at Seungmin as evidence of his statement.

Minho nods mutely in agreement, spinning around on the couch to get on his knees and lean over the back of the sofa.

He beckons the younger boy to come over.

Seungmin looks back at him untrusting before he gives in and questioningly walks over.

The older boy then pulls Seungmin into a kiss, harshly and almost painfully yanking his arms down to get him to stoop low enough for a kiss.

“Hyung-,” Seungmin groans, quickly pushing him off with a grimace.

He steps back a bit, rubbing at the wrist Minho had grabbed, his face scrunched up in discomfort.

The older boy looks concerned for a second.

“Are you alright, Seung- OW!” Minho yelps when Seungmin flicks his forehead as hard as he possibly can.

The younger laughs at his expression before taking off at a run towards the kitchen. He holds the flower crown Felix made tightly to his head as he runs for his life, knowing the older boy will chase after him.

“SEUNGMIN-AH, WHEN I CATCH YOU, I WILL SHOVE YOU IN THE AIR FRYER ALONG WITH HYUNJINNIE” Minho threatens, leaping off the sofa to sprint after Seungmin.

“What the fuck did I do?” Hyunjin pouts gloomily.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Okay, can we all sit down! I need to tell you guys something,” Changbin barks from the couch, shooting a look to his right where Minho has Seungmin pinned to the wall where they’ve been continuously jabbing each other’s sides for the past minute.

“Okay!” Minho agrees cheerfully, jabbing Seungmin’s sides once more before skipping over to the sofa.

“AH! Fuck- you-,” Seungmin breaths harshly, holding his sides before begrudgingly walking back over to the sofa, shooting a glare in Minho’s direction as he settles on the opposite side of the couch.

“Shouldn’t we be getting ready for practice though?” Jisung inquires.

Changbin rolls his eyes in response.

“That’s what I’m planning to talk about.”

“Oh,” Jisung drawls out, nodding in understanding.

“Alright! Is everyone settled? I don’t want anyone chasing Seungmin around the kitchen for a half-hour before we talk,” he says pointedly.

“No promises,” Minho mutters under his breath before Felix slaps him on the shoulder.

He huffs out a laugh before clearing his throat.

“I mean- No, Binnie. Of course not!” he corrects.

Changbin shakes his head affectionately before eyeing Hyunjin.

“If you’re going to sit in his lap then do it now.”

Hyunjin’s eyes widen and he grins sheepishly, getting up from the couch before plopping back down, this time on Jeongin’s lap.

“Hyung,” the maknae groans at the sudden weight on his lap, wincing, but nonetheless tightening his arms around the older’s middle and letting him relax back against him.

“Okay,” Changbin sighs, a small smile playing on his lips at his adorable boyfriends.

“Are you going to tell us what’s going on?” Minho asks with the sole intention to bother Changbin, smirking at the poor boy.

“I’M GETTING TO THAT!” the younger yells back in exasperation as Minho cackles.

“You can say it. I’m listening, hyung,” Felix smiles, reaching across Chan to pat Changbin on the leg.

Changbin sighs loudly before telling them.

“We don’t have practice today.”

“WE WHAT?” Jeongin shouts excitedly.

“Really?” Hyunjin asks from Jeongin’s lap, sounding hopeful.

“Yes,” Changbin chuckles. “I called the manager last night and asked if we could move practice to tomorrow, but he texted me back this morning that he had it canceled entirely and the one originally scheduled for tomorrow will start an hour later so we can sleep in.”

Once he finishes the explanation, Felix is leaping up from the couch and cheering loudly and soon is joined by the maknae, who does a little dance of happiness despite Hyunjin seated on top of him.

“Thank you, Binnie!” Seungmin calls out from the end of the sofa as he takes Jisung’s hand into his own, squeezing lightly as the older boy smiles from ear to ear.

“Why’d you ask them to cancel practice?” Chan questions, a mixture of confusion and joy on his face as he turns to the man beside him.

“Wait- You didn’t tell Chan-hyung?” Minho asks, looking perplexed.

It was already unusual that Chan hadn’t been the one to cancel practice. But Changbin not even telling the leader was surprising.

“Chan,” Changbin inhales deeply before turning to his boyfriend.

“You haven’t been feeling good,” he looks into the leader's eyes as if daring him to deny what he’s saying.

“No, I’m- I’m fine, Bin,” Chan swallows.

“No,” Changbin shakes his head.

“You haven’t been sleeping and you’ve been working nonstop. I know you're exhausted. And you’ve- you’ve looked down…more than usual. And I- I didn’t know what to do so I- I called the manager and asked for the day off so you can talk to us if you want or- or you can rest. Whatever will make you feel better again, hyung,” he continues, pleading for Chan to let them take care of him for once.

Chan’s eyes grow misty at his words, looking at Changbin who looks beyond concerned.

“B- Binnie-,” Chan’s voice breaks as he sniffles pathetically, finally dropping his gaze down as he tries to stop his body from trembling.

“It’s okay, Channie,” Changbin says, yanking him closer and holding Chan tightly.

Chan hides his face in the crook between Changbin’s neck and shoulder.

“Hyungie, why have you been feeling so bad? Not that there has to be a reason, but- but is there anything we can do to help?” Felix asks softly, hesitating before bringing a hand up to stroke Chan’s hair.

“You’re too nice,” Chan mumbles, finally pulling away from Changbin as he covers his face and lets out a strained chuckle.

Felix smiles sadly, squeezing Chan into a quick side hug.

“Ugh!” Chan groans loudly after a while, the other boys on the couch watching him in worry.

“Why do I feel like I need to cry? Everything’s been going great for us,” he continues, wiping at his teary eyes as he huffs out another laugh.

“It’s okay to cry, Channie-hyung,” Minho speaks up softly.

“Hypocrite,” Jisung mumbles from next to Hyunjin and Jeongin on the other side of the couch.

“Yah!” Minho cries out quietly as he shoots a glare at Jisung before patting Chan on the knee.

“I don’t want to cry though,” Chan whines back, groaning again as he throws his head back against the couch.

“It’s okay, hyung,” Jeongin smiles, leaning his head back against the couch and tilting his face so he can see Chan fully from behind Changbin’s back.

“If you want to talk, we’ll listen. Or we can distract you-”

“Or Sungie can give you magic healing kisses,” Jisung interrupts Seungmin, earning a scoff from the boy to his right.

Chan laughs affectionately but nods his head at Seungmin’s statement.

“I can talk about it.”

“Good. We’re listening, hyung,” Changbin encourages, smushing in close to the leader to plant a sweet kiss on the side of his cheek.

Chan lights up at the affection, smiling slightly before clearing his throat.

“I feel bad…like- guilty. And I know I shouldn’t and it- it doesn’t make sense that I do, but I’ve been feeling so bad lately,” Chan starts in right away, avoiding eye contact as he focuses on the Deadpool socks adorning his feet that Hyunjin got him as a gag gift last Christmas as he regulates his breathing.

“What do you feel bad for, b- baby?” Hyunjin gently nudges him to continue.

“I haven’t been doing a good job at being your boyfriend or your- hyung. I- Let me finish,” he says, stopping Minho from cutting him off.

The second-oldest looks unhappy about it but nods for Chan to continue.

“Sorry.”

Chan waves him off before starting back up again.

“I just- I haven’t been there for you. I mean, yesterday was a great example. I knew- I knew Hyunjinnie wasn’t acting normal but I- I didn’t ask or make sure he was okay. And then the two of them started arguing and I couldn’t stop it. And both of you- both of you got hurt because I didn’t stop to check in on Hyunjin like I should have. And it led to Hyunjinnie having sensory overload at practice and Minho revealing something that he hadn’t been ready to tell us. And I know- I know it’s not my fault, but it feels like it is,” he tries to explain, feeling exasperated and angry with himself all over again.

“It wasn’t just that time too. I didn’t check in on Jisung before his anxiety got worse. I saw! I knew he wasn’t feeling good and I told myself I would ask him about it later but I didn’t! I didn’t and he had a panic attack at a restaurant all because of me. And I wasn’t there for Seungmin. I hadn’t come back to the dorms at all for multiple days because I was so focused on getting the track done that I neglected my boyfriend. I put work and the bridge of some stupid song over my own partner. It’s- I wasn’t there. And I made Changbin feel bad. I know that all of us contributed to that, but I’m your leader. I should never insult any of you even if it’s a joke on something that you might feel insecure about. And even- even with Lix. I- I kept saying that he was a brother to me and- and I didn’t even think about how he was feeling. I was just stupid and I- I didn’t think and I made all of you- all of you feel bad because of me-”

“No,” Minho interrupts firmly. “I’m sorry, hyung, but I’m not just going to let you say those things about yourself.”

“You can’t just-,” he exhaled sharply, trying to find the words. “You can’t just blame yourself, hyung. I know you- I know you want to keep us happy but it- we can’t be happy all the time and that isn’t your fault.”

“I know. I know,” Chan sniffles back, his eyes red and watery as he holds back his tears. “I don’t expect you to be happy all the time and I don’t- I don’t want you to be. It’s just- there have been so many times where I could’ve stepped in and helped but I didn’t. And I know it isn’t my fault when one of you has been sad, but it- it feels like it is and I don’t know why.”

“And that’s okay, Channie,” Changbin pipes up, kissing away the stray tear that runs down the leader’s cheek.

“You’re not a superhero, hyungie. We don’t expect you to step in and make everything better. You couldn’t have known half of the things you just mentioned. And it isn’t your job to always be the one to step in and make sure we’re all doing okay, babe.”

Chan laughs slightly at the superhero comment.

“I wish I was a superhero. It would be nice if I could step in and make everything better. I wish life worked like that,” he sniffs, smiling tearfully.

“Hyung,” Jeongin calls softly, propping his head on Hyunjin’s shoulder as he presses forward to see past Changbin and lock eyes with the oldest.

“Innie,” Chan smiles back, another tear rolling down his cheek that Felix carefully wipes away from his other side.

“You’re allowed to feel too, hyung, not just help us deal with our own problems,” the maknae says. “Besides, you’re better than a superhero, you’re our Channie-hyung.”

More tears make their way down Chan’s face at his sweet words and he sniffs pathetically, muttering, “Oh, God,” as he wipes his eyes.

Everyone giggles at his comment before Hyunjin pipes up.

“Don’t feel guilty when all you’ve been doing is helping us, hyung. You couldn’t have anticipated what was going to happen yesterday. If anything, it’s my fault,” he laughs before getting a disapproving headshake from Minho that makes him giggle.

“There’s no way you could have known that it was sensory overload. I didn’t know myself, baby. And none of us knew, except Felix apparently,” Hyunjin rolls his eyes. “…that Minho-hyung is a Little. And, hey! You did try to interfere, hyung! I was just too busy being an asshole to Min-hyung to listen to you.”

“You weren’t being an asshole, you prick,” Minho grumbles. “But he’s right, hyung. If anything, what happened yesterday was a good thing, minus Hyunjinnie crying, because I doubt I would have told you guys anytime soon that I age regress. And you would've had to find out on your own. And Changbinnie would’ve never figured it out because he’s oblivious and his feelings would’ve gotten hurt.”

“HEY! You’re so mean, hyung,” Changbin glowers playfully at his comment as Minho fakes a sympathetic pout at the hypothetical situation.

“That’s a very real concern,” Seungmin agrees from beside Jisung at the opposite end of the couch as everyone laughs, including Chan.

“Chris,” Felix nudges the older to get his attention.

“I know that us saying all this isn’t going to magically make you feel less guilty, and I’m not even sure if our words are going to help at all, but you’re allowed to have problems too, hyung. And we love you and we want to hear them. You shouldn’t just be responsible to hear about all our problems and not let us help you with yours. Why do you think Sungie and I set our sights for six boyfriends and not just one?” he giggles, grinning gently at Chan.

“I didn’t understand half of that, but I agree with Felix. We didn’t seduce all our group members just for you to bottle up your feelings and help everyone else. We all help each other. Eight is fate,” Jisung states confidently despite not catching most of what Felix said in English to Chan.

Everyone laughs loudly at that with Jeongin again complaining that what Jisung did to him was not “seducing” and Jisung shutting him up by pointing out that it had still worked.

“Seungmin!” Jisung gasps as his laughter comes to an abrupt halt when the younger yanks him up from the couch.

“What? I thought you wanted to give Chan magic kisses?” Seungmin grins.

“Magic healing kisses, puppy,” Jisung corrects, kissing Seungmin on the nose. “And thank you for reminding me.”

Seungmin laughs before Jisung is dragging him
over to Chan.

“Fuck! Careful,” Chan warns when Jisung almost goes toppling off the couch in his haste to straddle the older and deliver his promised kisses.

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” Jisung waves him off, knees digging into the couch on either side of Chan.

He then leans down, tilting Chan’s chin upwards for the kiss.

They kiss for some time, Jisung angling the older’s head to deepen the kiss as the older chuckles lightly against his lips.

Seungmin finally deems that they’ve kissed enough and pulls on Jisung’s shoulder to get them to stop.

“Do you feel magically healed?” Jisung asks, out of breath as his eyes shine happily.

“Oh, definitely,” Chan replies, equally as out of breath.

Jisung laughs at his response before Seungmin is shoving him to the side and sitting on top of Chan’s other leg.

Jisung smacks Seungmin’s shoulder but lets the younger boy press a kiss to the side of Chan’s face.

The leader flushes lightly at the uncharacteristic action but lets Seungmin do as he pleases.

“You’re the best, Chan,” the younger says honestly once he pulls away.

“Thanks, Minnie,” Chan smiles, not caring about the dropping of the honorifics whatsoever.

Now that they had been dating for a while, the others had started to slowly stop using honorifics, except mostly Jeongin and Felix. Seungmin had stopped using them almost immediately after Chan had said that he didn’t mind if they did or didn’t use them while it was just the eight of them whereas some of the others were more hesitant. He was a menace and Chan loved him.

“Oh! Did Lixie make this?“ Chan asks suddenly, his hand on the flower crown adorning Seungmin’s head.

“Yup!” Felix grins, pointing to the identical one on his own head.

“It’s pretty! Can I-”

“No,” Seungmin frowns before the older can finish. “Hyunjin already asked.”

“I did,” Hyunjin pouts in agreement before changing the subject completely. “Anyway, can we get food now since we don’t have practice?”

“Did you not just eat breakfast?” Minho frowns.

“Nevermind then,” Hyunjin says quietly, turning his attention down to where he’s fiddling with the maknae’s fingers.

“Hyunjinnie and I weren’t really hungry so we just got coffee. But Hyunjin spilled it all down the front of his shirt,” Jisung explains, laughing at the memory as he shifts over on the couch to sit in between Chan and Changbin.

“Hyung’s stupid like that!” Jeongin laughs brightly.

Hyunjin purses his lips and turns around to scold the maknae before melting at the smile on his face.

“Aw, cute!” he squeals, squishing Jeongin’s cheek who looks at the older like he’s sprouted a second head.

“Yeah, I was wondering why his shirt looked like that but I didn’t want to be rude,” Seungmin agrees, now leaning back against Chan’s chest from where he sits in between the older’s legs.

“I thought Jinnie was trying to make a fashion statement and didn’t want to ruin his vibes,” Felix agrees.

“Well, it certainly is a statement,” Chan remarks.

“Now we should really go get food,” the leader continues, tapping Seungmin’s shoulder so his boyfriend lets him stand.

“I agree. But let's hug before Channie goes,” Jisung exclaims, getting up to embrace the leader.

Chan laughs in surprise as Changbin attacks him from the other side.

Then Hyunjin is leaping up from the couch and launching himself at the leader, pulling Jeongin next to him as the maknae reluctantly back hugs the leader.

Seungmin sighs but joins the group hug as well, sending Minho a look before the older boy glares and joins in as well.

Felix gets up too, awkwardly standing near his boyfriends.

He shifts from his right foot to his left then back again repeatedly before hesitating once more and then opening his arms and walking forward to join the hug.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Seungmin says, breaking away from the hug and the others follow suit.

“Great! Now Chan can go get us food,” Jisung smiles contentedly.

“No, no, you’re coming with me, Sung.”

“Fuck-”

Chapter Text

“The food has arrived!” Jisung calls as he walks into the house, Chan trailing behind with the rest of the food containers in hand.

“FOOD!” Changbin cheers happily.

“What are you guys watching?” Chan asks upon seeing the rest of the members seated on the floor of the living room or on the couch, staring at whatever program is playing on the television.

“We’re finishing the last ten minutes of Pororo since Minho-hyung didn’t get to see the end,” Changbin explains.

“Seungmin forced us into watching it,” Minho explains, shooting an annoyed look Seungmin’s way.

Chan shakes his head fondly, noting the pink blush on Minho’s ears and the way the younger isn’t taking his eyes off the characters on the screen, smiling subtly despite his aggression toward Seungmin.

Jisung takes off his shoes, nearly tripping and spilling the food containers piled in his arms before chucking his shoes toward the shoe area, which is honestly just a messy pile of at least a dozen of their shoes by the door. There are at least two pairs of shoes from each of the members, but Jisung does have to admit that the majority of the shoes are his.

“We really should get a better place to keep our shoes,” he hears Chan mutter from behind him.

Jisung then skids into the living room to set down the containers on the small table in front of the sofa, keeping a smaller container in his arms as he walks over to where the maknae is sitting at the corner spot on the couch.

“I got you your favorite,” he says, smiling as the maknae’s face brightens and hearing the members shouting behind him when Chan nearly drops the food on his way to set the containers down on the table as Jisung had done.

“Thanks, hyung,” Jeongin grins back happily.

“I would like a bit more than that,” Jisung teases, coming more into Jeongin’s personal space.

Jeongin rolls his eyes playfully at his boyfriend before turning his face to the side, offering his cheek for Jisung to kiss.

It’s strangely reminiscent of when they were trainees and the maknae would stick his cheek out for a Jisung kiss whenever he wanted. It was cute because the small action would make young Jeongin smile so brightly at Jisung that the older thought he might die of cuteness. And then when Jisung thought he couldn’t be more enamored with the young trainee, Jeongin would never fail to reciprocate by kissing Jisung’s cheek as well.

“Hey- Why’d you stop?” Jisung asks after pulling away from the sweet kiss he gave Jeongin’s cheek.

He doesn’t even have to clarify for his younger boyfriend is already complaining back.

“I never did it in the first place, hyung! You always kissed me on the cheek, but I never did it back,” Jeongin insists, looking exasperated at having this conversation again.

“Yes, you did! Don’t you remember? We were practicing singing with the piano on the third floor in room four or- or maybe it was three, I’m not sure. But I asked you for a kiss and you kissed me on the cheek but then you stopped doing it! Why’d you stop?” Jisung yells back in Jeongin’s face.

“I-,” Jeongin stutters but Jisung is already recoiling back in complete shock.

“Oh my god, you-,” the older stops himself, looking in disbelief at the maknae whose whole face turned beet red after Jisung asked the second time.

“I didn’t,” Jeongin yelps, shaking his head in denial.

“You-”

“Hyung, stop!” the maknae cries out, burying his flushed face in his hands.

“You had a crush on me, didn’t you? You liked me and that’s why you stopped so suddenly!” Jisung yells, looking down at the younger in complete surprise and seeing the way the parts of Jeongin’s face not covered by his hands turn even redder in confirmation.

“Wait, Innie had a crush on you that long ago?” Hyunjin asks in surprise, hauling himself up off the floor and next to the youngest.

Jeongin groans and mutters curses under his breath.

Jisung laughs loudly, feeling breathless as he eases himself onto the couch in front of his younger boyfriend.

“HE WHAT?” Chan screams as Minho laughs hysterically, the two of them along with Felix, Seungmin, and Changbin hopping onto the couch as well.

Jeongin makes a sound halfway between a groan of annoyance and a whine of embarrassment.

“I didn’t even know that I liked him at the time,” he insists. “I just knew I felt weird around hyung and the kisses on the cheek suddenly felt mortifying.”

“Aw, IN-ah,” Changbin coos, making the poor boy groan even louder.

“Also, it wasn’t even Sungie that I liked first,” the younger shoots back, finally uncovering his face so he can roll his eyes at the others.

“Oh, really?” Jisung smirks, prompting the maknae to continue.

“Ugh! I hate you, hyung,” Jeongin cries back.

“You can’t hate me, IN-ah! I was your first crush!” the older boy grins evilly.

“No, you were not! Hyunjinnie-hyung was the first guy I liked in the group. And I liked plenty of other girls before I liked any of you,” he cries back before realizing his mistake.

“INNIE LIKED ME FIRST!” Hyunjin cheers, letting out an ear-splitting scream of delight.

“SHUT UP, JINNIE!” Jeongin screams back.

“THAT IS NO WAY TO TALK TO YOUR FIRST CRUSH!” Jisung yells at the younger.

“I WASN’T EVEN TALKING TO YOU,” the maknae cries back incredulously.

“Wow, Innie. I thought you would’ve liked your Minho-hyung first,” Minho scoffs, jokingly looking hurt at the maknae’s disloyalty.

“Yeah, hyung, you were hot,” Jisung agrees.

“‘I want to be a singer!’,” he continues, imitating younger Minho before switching to a narration voice.

“Any one of these hopefuls…could be the next thing in KPOP,” Jisung finishes, hands and all.

Everyone breaks into boisterous laughter while Minho looks like he’s planning Jisung’s murder despite the small chuckles that escape his mouth against his will.

“And yet, you still liked me first, isn’t that right, Sungie?” Minho asks smugly.

“Actually,” Jisung clears his throat. “I liked Felix first.”

Felix looks up in surprise.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Jisung laughs, his cheeks flushing a bit pink. “Don’t you remember when you and Minho-hyung came back after eliminations?”

Felix smiles at the fond memory. Despite the pain he felt during those days after getting eliminated, it was all worth it getting to debut with Stray Kids, and going back, he wouldn’t have done anything differently.

“Oh, God, I-,” Jisung looks down as he shakes his head with a laugh. “I’m pretty sure I liked Hyunjin too.”

“You liked me?” Hyunjin’s eyes widen.

“I think so. I mean- I never fully understood why I was so annoyed with you when we were trainees. And thinking back, I really don’t think you even did anything to me.”

Hyunjin blushes lightly but nods in agreement.

“You were cute. I remember thinking that when I first saw you. I used to wonder a lot how we even started fighting in the first place,” he chuckles.

“Hyunjin, you should dance better!” Jisung mimics how their fights used to play out, putting on an over-the-top voice to make Hyunjin laugh.

“Jisung-ah, you should rap better,” Hyunjin replies back in the same voice before pausing. “…Isn’t it the other way around?”

“Wait- Hyunjin, you should rap better!” the younger corrects himself.

“Jisung, you should dance better!” Hyunjin says, smiling in satisfaction at Jisung before high-fiving each other for getting it right.

“The classic enemies to lovers,” Seungmin jokes, chuckling at how close the two boys are compared to how horrible they were to one another during pre-debut days.

“That’s true. I think I liked Changbin-hyung first though,” Hyunjin admits, earning himself a kiss on the cheek from a pleased Changbin.

Hyunjin giggles before explaining.

“Changbinnie was the first member I got close with. You were the first person’s house I ever slept at,” he says, turning his attention to the boy sitting beside him.

“Actually?” Changbin asks.

Hyunjin hums back, nodding.

“I would sleep at your house all the time and you would sleep at mine too.”

“And weekends,” Changbin adds.

“I liked you first too, by the way. Whenever I said something, you were the person who smiled the most. So I got to know you before the others came.”

“And then Seungminnie I liked too. I fell in love with Minnie’s voice and Seungmin-ah had such a cute smile and kind eyes,” Changbin smiles fondly at the memory of his younger self being completely captivated by Seungmin’s voice.

“I liked Jeonginnie next,” Hyunjin says in response, giggling as he tickles Jeongin’s sides and the boy groans helplessly.

“Mine’s switched. I liked IN-ah first. He was too cute, I think my heart skipped a beat every time he smiled,” Seungmin proclaims. “Then I liked Binnie-hyung after.”

Hyunjin gasps in response.

“Changbin! Did you like me or Seungminnie first?” Hyunjin stresses.

“IT’S NOT A COMPETITION!” Seungmin yells back from the opposite end of the sofa.

“I um- I feel like I shouldn’t answer,” Changbin mutters.

“I really do not care,” Seungmin expresses his disinterest.

“In that case, I liked Hyunjinnie first,” Changbin says, making Hyunjin laugh joyfully.

“Hey, wait-,” Minho speaks up, looking upset. “None of you liked me first?”

“No, hyung,” Jeongin giggles, a safe enough distance away to not get slapped playfully by the older.

Minho pouts in response before turning his gaze to the boy beside him.

“Felix?” he pleads. “You liked me first right?”

Felix winces and has the heart to look a little guilty as he responds.

“No, I- I had a small crush on Channie-hyung first when we were trainees. But I didn’t think he would like me ever so I gave up on it pretty fast,” he admits apologetically.

“Lix,” Chan coos sympathetically.

“I liked you! You were the first one I liked because you reminded me of home. …And I wanted to protect you so badly so you didn’t have to go through the same things I did or at least- at least you’d have a friend there for you after moving to a completely different country and not fully understanding the language yet,” the leader smiles sadly.

“Hyung,” Felix whines, leaning over Minho to kiss Chan softly.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Minho interrupts loudly.

“WHO DID YOU GUYS LIKE SECOND?” he demands.

“Uh- Oh! I had the biggest crush on Changbin-hyung after we debuted. I think that one was pretty obvious,” Felix smiles, his cheeks flushing pink, ignoring the cry of outrage from Minho.

“What about you?” Minho narrows his eyes at Chan, who smiles teasingly back at him, not at all intimidated by the other’s antics.

“I liked Jisung a lot actually,” he smiles.

“You did?” Jisung asks in surprise, having expected Chan to say someone like Hyunjin or Jeongin instead.

“Yeah! I mean…you were our maknae in 3RACHA and you were so-,” Chan pauses for a second to let out a borderline squeal.

“…SO CUTE! Your cheeks were even chubbier back then, Sung. Oh dear lord, my younger self was so infatuated with you even though you were a pain in the ass and argued so much with Hyunjin we weren’t even sure if we could debut all together,” he continues.

Jisung laughs loudly at that before being cut off by a long, obnoxious whine from Minho.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE NO ONE LIKED ME FIRST! …OR SECOND!”

“Who did you like first, hyung?” Changbin questions, trying to deflect the situation.

“Jisungie,” Minho whines back with an angry huff.

“And then I liked Chan after and then Felix- Well, who didn’t have a crush on Felix during trainee days? BUT NO ONE HAD A CRUSH ON ME! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?” the boy moans, clutching his head with both hands as he dramatically throws his head back against Felix’s chest, shifting to the side so he can lay out across both him and Chan.

“No one had a crush on me first either, hyung,” Seungmin reminds, uncaring as he sips from his drink.

“We should really eat now. The food’s going to get cold,” Changbin remarks.

“YOU GUYS ARE ALL MEAN TO ME! HOW COULD YOU EAT AT A TIME LIKE THIS?” Minho dramatizes.

Everyone ignores the second-oldest, making him whine in annoyance before eventually giving up a few minutes later in favor of devouring the food.

What can he say? He was hungry.
____________________________________________________________________________

After devouring the food in an impressive amount of time, they decided to do something all together. And somebody had had the brilliant idea of building a fort in the living room.

Before anyone could say another word, Felix, Jisung, and Jeongin had gotten up and raced to the kitchen, each grabbing a chair and hauling them back to the living room.

Then the maknae had started pushing the couch out of the way, which Changbin quickly helped him with before the youngest pulled a back muscle. And together they both moved the couch and then the table in front of it to the side of the room to have more room to set up the fort.

Soon the others were joining in with varying levels of enthusiasm to bring in two more chairs as Chan and Seungmin were making a run for Jisung’s closet that held all the extra blankets and comforters they weren’t using. (They had also stolen both Jeongin and Jisung’s pillows without their knowledge and brought them back too.)

Meanwhile, Changbin, Jeongin, Minho, and Hyunjin were adjusting the chairs in two separate lines, facing away from each other, before Minho got the tremendous idea to hang the blankets from the ceiling. This led to him and Jeongin forcing Hyunjin into agreeing to hang up the sheets when they arrived and then the both of them hyping Hyunjin up while they waited for Chan and Seungmin to come back with the supplies.

While they were preparing, Felix had scampered off to his room and was gathering all of his plushies in sight and bringing them back into the living room, dropping at least half of them along the way which forced him to go back and pick each one of them up later. And Jisung was peaking into everyone’s rooms and snatching some of their pillows before catching Chan and Seungmin halfway down the hall with his and Jeongin’s pillows before he could even make it to his room.

Then everyone was dumping the gathered supplies onto the couch in the living room as Minho explained his idea that did not make sense to half of them but they went along with anyway.

Then they started the process of taking all the thin sheets and tying the ends together with Minho making sure to tie the two sheets connected in the middle together at the corners and then making another knot a bit inwards. And Hyunjin, with Chan looking worried at how the boy was balancing as he leaned forward in the chair and Minho looking gleeful, used the two places where Minho tied the knots in the middle where the two sheets attached to slip over the lightbulb of one of the lights. And then did the same to the other end of the fabric to the other light in the living room.

None of the members (except Minho since it was his crazy idea in the first place) knew how the contraption worked, but somehow it stayed and Jisung was quick to turn off the lights to prevent a fire hazard.

This prompted Felix to run off back to his bedroom without explanation (after taking off his flower crown and setting it safety on the kitchen counter) while they all worked the drape the ends of the big expanse of fabric from tying all the sheets together over the backs of the chairs.

Then Changbin had muttered something about feeling like their fort should have a back and entryway and then Hyunjin was gabbing the duct tape that Minho had on top of the dresser in their room. (Everyone had asked about it but even Minho didn’t know why the duct tape was there in the first place but he had a sneaking suspicion that he might’ve bought it just to tape Hyunjin’s hat onto his head when it decided to launch itself off of his head as it had a few weeks ago during dance practice.) Then they were using a few light blankets, saving the thicker and comfier ones for inside the fort, to tape to the sheets already draped from the ceiling and backs of the chairs. They placed a bigger one at the back and then three smaller ones for the front so they could lift up the middle one as a makeshift entrance to their fort.

Surprisingly, nothing had collapsed yet, which Changbin counted as a win.

“I GOT THEM!” Felix shouts at the top of his lungs as he rushes into the living room again.

Everyone immediately looks up at his voice and sees their boyfriend practically tangled in the LED fairy lights he had bought a few weeks ago and never got around to putting up in their room.

“Look!” he smiles, pressing a button on the small remote, making the lights turn rainbow. “It’s gay!”

Chan and Hyunjin laugh as Jisung lets out a happy cheer, the rest of them looking fondly at their boyfriend.

“Let’s-,” Chan pauses “for effect” like Changbin taught him to, looking around at all his lovely boyfriends.

Jisung looks like a jumping bean and Felix is just as bouncy next to him. And Seungmin is flapping his hands in anticipation, a bright smile on his face as Hyunjin practically vibrates next to him. And Minho is smiling happily, his eyes scrunched up as he laughs along with Changbin in excitement while Jeongin does a little happy dance off to the side.

“LET’S GO DECORATE THE INSIDE!” Chan says, his voice rising louder at the end as everyone cheers.

The members instantly rush over to the couch that’s being used as a place to store the blankets, pillows, and Felix’s stuffed animals that they’ve gathered. And Chan helps Felix carefully string up the lights in the fort so they can see, using duct tape to hold them in place.

Next thing they know, Jisung and Hyunjin are clambering inside the blanket fort and putting down the pillows, lining the bottom of the fort before stacking some up for added comfort.

Jeongin and Changbin gleefully follow the two to put down the soft blankets on top of the pillows laid out on the ground, making sure to add Jisung’s weighted blanket and Changbin’s electric blanket that was more for comfort than anything since they couldn’t plug it in anywhere that Chan had thoughtfully brought back from their rooms.

“WAIT! WHERE’S GYU?” Changbin screams in horror, running down the hall to retrieve his stuffy.

“Hey,” Felix nudges Minho softly once he steps out of the pillow fort and sees the older securely duct taping the sheets down onto the backs of the six chairs.

Minho hums in acknowledgment before Felix is leaning in and whispering in his ear.

Minho’s ears turn red but he slowly nods and walks down the hall to his room.

“WE NEED MORE PILLOWS!” Jisung yelps and not too long after, he and Seungmin are making another trip back down the hall to steal even more pillows from all the others.

Back inside the fort, Chan, Jeongin, and Hyunjin, with Felix soon lifting the blanket “door” up and joining them, are rearranging the pillows and blankets to make everything cozier. Not a surface of the fort isn’t covered in pillows and blankets or one of Felix’s numerous plushies.

“Everything’s okay, guys. I’ve got him,” Changbin reassures, entering the fort and setting down Gyu.

Soon Jisung and Seungmin are running back to the fort.

“I- beat you, Seung- Seungminnie,” Jisung says breathlessly.

“No- No- the fuck- you didn’t,” Seungmin shoots back, pushing past Jisung playfully as the crowd into the fort.

By the time Minho comes back into the living room and looks inside the fort, everything is finished. He looks in amazement at how well it turned out, the space looking cozy and warm.

“Oh!” Jisung says happily.

“You got Hae,” he smiles.

Minho freezes up for a second before relaxing, smiling back at him as he crawls into the fort with his stuffed animal.

“We actually did it,” Minho laughs.

“I always had faith in us,” Changbin sighs contentedly.

“You were the one who told us repeatedly that it would never work,” Jeongin points out before being quickly hushed by Changbin.

“Hyung! Get over here! We’re cuddling,” Jisung calls over to Minho from where he’s sitting with Hyunjin cuddled into his one side and Chan’s arm thrown around his other side.

“Nope!” Minho smiles, crouching down to pat Jisung’s head before standing back up and moving away from him.

Before he can get up though, Jisung is latching onto his waist.

“Sungie!” the older complains, attempting to pull away.

Jisung laughs good-naturedly and lets him go, but not before swiping the phone from Minho’s pocket and adding it to the collection of not one, not two, but all of the members' phones in the pillowcase of the pillow he’s holding.

He’s been very stealthy so far, only taking phones when their backs are turned or sneakily going in for back or front hugs just to slyly ease their phones out of their pockets and hide them up the sleeves of his hoodie.

He seems to have done a pretty good job at it too as no one has caught him yet.

“Minho-hyung!” Hyunjin calls from his spot at Jisung’s sides, reaching his arms up for the older.

Minho lets out a groan of complaint, grumbling under his breath yet still making his way over to Hyunjin and allowing the boy to pull him down next to him.

Hyunjin wraps an arm around Minho’s waist but not before petting the top of his stuffed animal’s head, sighing in content when the older finally relaxes.

“Yah!” Seungmin exclaims, patting down his pockets with a look of suspicion. “Who took my phone?”

Jisung can barely contain the laugh that wants to spill from his lips but he manages to stay silent.

“Mine’s gone too! BIXBY, BABY, WHERE ARE YOU?” Changbin screams, making the others laugh.

“Wait-,” Changbin narrows his eyes.

“…Hey, Bixby…,” he says and waits.

Then to Jisung’s horror, Changbin’s stupid phone is lighting up from under the pillowcase and responding back to him.

“JISUNG, YOU STOLE MY PHONE, YOU BASTARD!” Changbin yells, standing up and throwing himself on top of the poor boy.

“Hyung. Hyung! The fort! You’re- You’re going to make it fall! HYUNG!” Jisung screeches as Changbin falls on him, trapping him under his weight and jabbing his sides with two fingers, (something he likely learned from Minho).

“Alright. Alright!” Changbin giggles, getting up and taking his phone out of the pillow Jisung was hugging to his chest and leaving the younger boy panting and out of breath.

“Why’d you take our phones, Sungie?” Chan asks in confusion.

“So we can spend time together without you checking your emails and working,” Jisung says pointedly. “You’re supposed to be relaxing, hyung.”

“Oi,” Chan laughs loudly before muttering affectionately under his breath. “What am I going to do with you?”

Jisung grins in victory when Chan leaves his phone with him and thanks Changbin when the older also relents and passes his phone back to Jisung.

“Lixie! Why aren’t you cuddling?” Hyunjin calls out to the boy, who’s sitting a ways away from them despite how small the space is with the eight of them cramped in together.

Felix falters, looking up at his boyfriends.

Hyunjin now has his head resting on Minho’s shoulder, one leg draped over Jisung’s lap.

Then there’s Chan who has an arm draped over Jisung and the other wrapped around Jeongin’s shoulders. The maknae is snuggled up into Chan’s side, looking comfortable despite his usual hatred for skinship.

And Seungmin is next to the couple, hand resting comfortably on Jeongin’s knee as Changbin sits beside him.

Felix finally shakes the thoughts out of his head, smiling sheepishly before going over to Changbin’s side and sitting next to him.

He leans into the older boy’s side, making sure to tone it down a bit so he doesn’t come off as overbearing.

Changbin isn’t having it and immediately moves over and drags Felix in between him and Seungmin, snuggling in closer and grabbing one of Felix’s plushies to place in the boy’s lap.

Felix blinks in surprise, shifting around anxiously before Seungmin seems to notice and places a kiss on his cheek, making Felix finally calm down.

“Oh, Minho-hyung!” Jeongin calls, suddenly remembering what he had been meaning to ask the second-oldest.

“Yes, Innie?” Minho calls back.

“Is Hae a girl or a boy? I wasn’t sure so I wanted to ask.”

“Oh um-,” Minho pauses.

“I think Hae’s uh- genderfluid,” he says, his voice lilting up at the end as if asking a question. “I’m not sure, but I always use different pronouns in headspace. But- But most days it’s just they/them.”

Jeongin pauses for a moment, never having heard the term “genderfluid” before he shrugs and then utters, “Oh, cool.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet, hyung. Why is Little you so damn cute?” Jisung coos as Changbin and Felix voice their agreement.

Minho scowls at the statement.

“Shut up,” he sneers, but can’t hide the way his lips turn up in a slight smile when the others laugh annoyingly.

Minho’s grateful for the teasing and their normal jokes and banter. It proves that none of his members are treating him any differently. He had been worrying the whole night that his age regression might change the way the others see him, but now he sees that that could never be the case.

Even though he has his Littlespace, he's still their hyung (minus Chan) and the same person they’ve always seen him as. And he’s beyond glad that they aren’t treating him like he’s fragile because of what happened with Hyunjin. He’s not fragile. He can take care of himself. And the members seem to get that.

Stray Kids have always had that understanding about each other, which is why it’s never been just the older hyungs taking care of the maknae line but rather everyone caring and loving everyone else. They are all strong individually but even stronger when they’re all together, helping and loving and caring for everyone in the group. They all just have different ways of showing that. And that’s one of the many reasons he’s fallen in love with his boys.

“Hey, do you guys remember that other time Jisungie tried to steal our phones?” Changbin asks, reminiscing on the fun challenges they had done that day even though he’d lost.

“Oh, yeah! And he tried to kiss Seungmin-hyung to get him to stop singing,” Jeongin laughs, letting his head fall on Chan’s shoulder beside him.

“Jisung tried to kiss Seungminnie…Wait! Which time?” Chan furrows his eyebrows, making Jisung laugh.

He did have a consistent habit of trying to kiss the members randomly while filming. But in his defense, he wasn’t the only one. The whole group seemed to have a problem with consistently making to kiss Seungmin before being pushed away at least once during every live or video, whether or not it would make the final cut.

“It’s not my fault I’m irresistible,” Seungmin points out nonchalantly as the others laugh and Felix hits him with his stuffie.

“OH- AND YOU GOT THE LYRICS WRONG TOO…TO OUR OWN SONG!” Jisung cackles, his laughter so loud that it startles Hyunjin and makes him flinch from right next to him.

“YOU’RE ONE TO TALK, HAN JISUNG,” Seungmin shoots back.

“It’s fine if I don’t remember the words to our songs…as long as I remember my rap in ‘Can’t Live Without Changbin’ then nothing else matters,” Jisung smiles, looking cocky when Changbin screams back at him.

“It was a pretty genius rap, Bin, you- you have to admit,” Chan gets out in between his boisterous laughter.

“FUCK YOU, HYUNG! AND YOU TOO, SUNGIE!” Changbin roars, his shoulder held back by Felix in case the older boy tries to get up.

“Oh my gosh! That was the VLive we came in with our matching pants!” Jisung cries out, nearly crying from laughing so much with the others not too far behind.

“I REMEMBER!” Felix shouts. “You three were wearing those hideous purple, pink, and red pants and those jean jackets. Innie and I were watching together!”

Jeongin grins at that, reaching across Seungmin to give Felix a fist bump.

“NO!” Jisung shouts at his statement, making Hyunjin and Seungmin groan and cover their ears at the sheer level of volume. “WHY IS IN-AH ALWAYS WATCHING MY LIVES? WHAT THE HELL, MAN!”

Jeongin giggles hysterically, remembering the time when Jisung almost lost it after Chan and he had called to inform him they were watching his solo VLive.

“Yeah, Yongbokkie always- Ah, Innie always watches our lives,” Changbin quickly corrects.

“WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME YONGBOKKIE! I’M IN!” Jeongin screeches back in response, looking astonished as this was about the tenth time Changbin had referred to him as Felix.

“I’M SORRY!” Changbin apologizes quickly before defending himself. “IT’S PERFECTLY NORMAL TO MIX UP THE NAMES OF THOSE THAT YOU LOVE!”

“AND THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH FALLING IN LOVE, IN-AH!” Jisung helps Changbin as well, making them all burst into laughter once more, remembering their family skits.

“Do you remember when Jisung-hyung tried to carry me while dancing to Double Knot and ended up falling over?” Jeongin brings up, making the older lean across Chan and shoot him a look while pursing his lips and causing the maknae to giggle.

“His dancing was almost as good as Seungmin’s twerking,” Felix laughs as the boy groans and hides his face in Felix’s shoulder.

“Don’t you mean Hyunjinnie’s. He started in kindergarten after all,” Minho jokes.

Hyunjin makes to slap him before Minho turns his head toward him aggressively and the younger boy yelps and quickly puts his hand down.

“Good point,” Felix chuckles.

“Oh, wait! Remember when we played in the snow?” Chan mentions.

“You mean fake snow. Stay were so mad when they found out it wasn’t real,” Hyunjin claps his hands loudly as he laughs.

“That’s the one where Minho-hyung tried to refill the water with ice,” Felix snorts.

“IT WAS A GOOD IDEA!” Minho claims.

“Yeah, sure,” Felix sarcastically responds, giggling when Minho sends him the stink eye.

“It’s okay, hyung. You’re still a winner in my heart!” Hyunjin proclaims.

“Thanks,” Minho mutters.

“That was the time when Jisung-ah almost bowled me over,” Changbin jokes, causing Jisung to send him finger guns and a wink in response.

“He was so speedy,” Chan agrees.

“You almost died in a sledding accident, hyung,” Jeongin points out.

“And then the cinematic masterpiece of Innie and I’s sword fighting,” Jisung laughs out.

“We did so well,” Jeongin agrees, all of them giggling at the fond memories.

Soon the members are dissolving into stories, talking about anything from Jeongin saying Felix had a “tiny hand” to Minho dancing sensually to win Jeongin over and Felix and Hyunjin shouting that he was a minor and pushing him away while Jisung fell out of his chair. They reminisce about all the good times they had together like when Jisung wore the horse mask on a VLive and Changbin slapped him or when Felix said his favorite side dish was Chan or when they all dog-piled on Jeongin when it was his birthday.

They sit and talk together, relaxing back into their comfortable fort before beginning to catch up on what they all had done individually this week, sharing stories and worries for the upcoming weeks.

Before they know it, Hyunjin is the first one asleep, laying down as he cuddles into Jisung’s chest.

Chan has an arm wrapped around Jisung as Jeongin presses against his side and Seungmin spoons him from behind.

Then Minho curls up as well beside Hyunjin, placing a hand on the boy’s shoulders before closing his eyes too.

And on the opposite side, Changbin is wrapped fully around Felix as he sleeps with the younger boy holding hands with Seungmin in front of him.

The members all nap for a while, all feeling happy because it felt nice to take a break and laugh and appreciate one another and their time spent together.

Only it all comes crashing down when Changbin wakes up.

Already a few of the members are awake when Changbin opens his eyes sleepily.

He then slowly stands up, rubbing his eyes and taking a step forward, only to trip on Felix who is situated right by his side.

Then in a split-second decision, he reaches up for something to hold onto to prevent his falling and ends up grabbing the sheets forming the top of their fort.

And then Changbin is falling with a shout and bringing down their fort with him.

“AH!” Jisung screams immediately, upon waking up from Changbin’s screech and seeing the sheets falling down on top of him.

“SHIT!” Felix yelps loudly, being startled just from Changbin’s scream.

This then startles Seungmin awake, who flinches violently, making Felix instantly move to calm him down after he gets a grasp of what happened.

“What the fuck?” Hyunjin asks sleepily.

“Wha’s goin’ on?” Jeongin asks as well, waking up seconds ago due to the sudden noise.

Meanwhile, Changbin is slowly picking himself off of the ground and quickly moves to stand up and hold the sheets up so they aren’t covering the other members.

“I think Changbin tripped,” Chan yawns, blinking up at the boy holding the sheets above their heads.

“You okay, Bin?” the leader asks.

“Y- Yeah. Fine,” Changbin exhales, more shocked than anything.

“Um- yeah, I- I tripped over Lixie,” he continues.

A moment of silence passes over the group before the yelling starts.

“CHANGBIN-HYUNG, YOU RUINED OUR FORT!” Jeongin yells, sending an accusing look to Changbin as he sits up.

“CHANGBIN…” Jisung groans, his voice deeper from just waking up as he burrows his head back into a pillow.

“What is your problem?” Hyunjin gets out through a yawn before promptly falling back into the blankets behind him.

“Goodnight,” he continues, voice muffled as he’s lying face down.

“BINNIE!” Minho whines loudly. “HOW COULD YOU? AFTER ALL OUR HARD WORK-”

“IT’S NOT MY FAULT! I TRIPPED!” Changbin yells back, making the rest of them all groan out loudly.

“It’s okay, you guys. Why don’t we get out of the fort and watch something instead?” Chan suggests shaking Jeongin awake again, as well as Jisung and Hyunjin.

“Or we could just sit on top of the fort,” Felix points out, still comfortingly rubbing circles on Seungmin’s back as the younger reaches back to retrieve the flower crown that fell off his head while he was sleeping.

“That works,” the leader shrugs, moving over to Jisung to tickle his feet.

“NO! HYUNG, NO!” Jisung shouts loudly, trying to squirm away as laughter falls from his lips.

“Ow!” Hyunjin whines as well, being elbowed in the gut by Jisung’s squirming.

“I’ll stop when you get up,” Chan teases as Felix moves over to tickle Hyunjin as well, the two writhing on the floor as they giggle.

“O- Okay! OKAY! WE’LL GET UP! S- Stop tickling u- us now!” Jisung finally relents, getting up and hurrying out of the fort with Hyunjin right behind him.

“Touch me and you’re dead,” Minho says from where he’s lounged back against the pillows, locking eyes with Felix.

The boy grins in response, laying down next to him and swatting at his shoulder with a hand.

Minho purses his lips and hits him back before Chan is standing back up and narrowing his eyes at the two of them.

Felix lets out a squeak, giggling loudly as he drags Minho out of the fort.

“Hey! Time to get up,” Chan speaks gently, tapping Jeongin on the shoulder and patting Seungmin’s knee gently.

“You okay?” he whispers softly to Seungmin, who nods in confirmation.

“I’m up!” Jeongin complains, pouting unconsciously as he gets up and latches onto Seungmin’s arms so the two can walk out together.

“Oh, Jesus! My arms hurt so bad,” Changbin groans in relief.

Chan laughs at him.

“Come on, Bin.”

Changbin smiles back at him, letting the sheets drop on top of their heads. Chan and Changbin grasp onto each other’s hands and hold their other arms out to feel for the entrance of the fort, hearing the others laughing as it probably looked like two moving blobs in amidst a sea of blankets.

The two finally make it out of the collapsed fort, out of breath from laughing so much at their struggle.

“Oh my gosh!” Seungmin laughs loudly and Chan and Changbin turn around to see the pile of pillows and blankets all heaped up on the floor.

The group laughs at the mess before Hyunjin is piping up.

“How about we watch ‘Funny SKZ Compilation’ videos?”

“Yeah,” Felix smiles. “Just like we used to.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” Changbin agrees, grinning happily as he watches the other members already racing toward the collapsed fort and plopping down onto the mess of pillows and blankets.

“Get over here, Binnie!” Chan beckons him over, laughing spilling from his lips and making Changbin smile and gleefully skip over to the others.

Chapter Text

hey everyoneee!!

i hope you all are doing okay in the new year <3 :))) i am considering the direction i want to go with this fic for the next few chapters (i have too many ideas haha) and i wanted some input from those who read this fic :))

sooo i was thinking of making things VERY angsty because i feel like it hasn’t gotten too dark and sad yet in the fic and i love hurt and comfort too much haha!

but yeah! my friends were also saying that it might be nice to really dive into the character’s mental health (and also because it might be comforting to see that people who have gone through similar experiences are not alone!)

please let me know, whoever reads this, if you would like me going the more angsty and sad route for the next few chapters!! (i’ll obviously still have a lot of comfort and fluff later on but i think diving into the angst might be a fun idea)

Chapter Text

“HOW MUCH LONGER DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS?” Felix cries out, laughing (borderline hysterically) through the pain.

His right wrist is cramping up and as the seconds go by, it seems more and more likely that his arm may very well fall off.

“Stiff peaks, Lix!” Minho shouts from over next to the fridge.

Felix whimpers in agony but goes back to whisking the batter.

It’s one in the morning and Stray Kids are making pancakes.

At midnight, Hyunjin’s brain had the brilliant idea of making pancakes for breakfast. And instead of waiting to pitch the idea to his boyfriends in the morning, he had immediately woken up Seungmin before proceeding to do the same with the rest of the household.

“Here…Let me take over for a bit,” Seungmin laughs, grinning from ear to ear at Felix’s cries of anguish.

Felix sighs, looking grateful.

“Thank you,” he says, slumping forwards in relief as he slides the bowl across the table to Seungmin.

Hyunjin giggles at the interaction, skipping over to them after drying his hands.

He grabs onto Felix’s wrists and lightly tugs on the younger boy to stand up, who complies sluggishly with a playful frown and gets to his feet.

“Aren’t you glad I woke us up for pancakes?” Hyunjin teases, his eyes shining with happiness as he engulfs Felix in a hug.

The younger boy laughs in surprise, smiling to himself at how Hyunjin always seems to make himself smaller when they hug, slouching down a bit so he can rest his chin on Felix’s shoulder and Felix can do the same to him.

“Very glad,” Felix replies genuinely, squeezing him back tightly before pulling back to connect their lips.

Hyunjin giggles into the kiss and it makes Felix’s lips tingle pleasantly before they’re broken apart by Minho swatting at the two of them.

“No kissing in my kitchen!” he announces loudly before Hyunjin is yanking him closer and spinning the his boyfriend around to face him.

Hyunjin hums teasingly, a small giggle escaping his mouth before he kisses Minho.

“Fuck you,” Minho mumbles against his lips before pressing back into the kiss.

“HEY!” Seungmin yells disapprovingly at Minho and Hyunjin before sighing loudly.

He stirs the batter for a few more minutes before a groan escapes his lips and he looks up at Jisung with pleading eyes.

“I hate you, baby,” Jisung mumbles, already reaching his arms out to take the bowl.

‘It’s Seungmin. It’s not my fault,’ he tries to reassure himself, knowing fully well that he’d have given in no matter which of his boyfriends it was.

“Thanks, Sungie-ah,” Seungmin smiles, passing off the bowl to him with a soft peck on the forehead before standing up to go help Chan dig through the cabinets to find the pan for the pancakes.

“Why aren’t there stiff peaks forming?” Minho furrows his eyebrows, leaning over the dining room table to glare down at the bowl Jisung is mixing.

“Oh my God!” Felix gasps, mouth dropping open and looking beyond horrified as he realizes something. “…We forgot to add the eggs.”

“You…” Minho trails off with an exasperated sigh.

“I’m going to go help Channie-hyung find the pan,” he declares defeatedly before walking away with a drawn-out sigh.

The table is silent for a moment before Jisung utters a small, “Oops!“

Felix and Hyunjin immediately erupt into laughter.

Felix laughs so hard he can feel tears gather in his eyes and Hyunjin's whole body shakes with laughter while Jisung shakes his head at the two of them, giggling loudly as well.

Their laughter comes to an abrupt halt when an extremely energetic Changbin nearly barrels into the table a minute later.

“MINHO-HYUNG SAID I COULD CRACK ONE OF THE EGGS!” Changbin cheers in excitement, bouncing up and down in happiness.

“Channie-hyung told me to come over here and watch him,” Jeongin trails behind the older boy, keeping a watchful gaze on Changbin at all times as the older boy dances around the table.

“Like you’re much better, IN-ah,” Changbin sasses back, the large grin adorning his features never leaving.

“Aigo,” Jeongin sighs out, shaking his head with a small smile.

Minho rushes over to them a second later, looking more than a little frazzled and breathless.

“Here are the eggs,” he says, setting down the carton before pausing to groan loudly. “We can’t find the damn pan.”

Changbin snorts while Felix rolls his eyes fondly.

“I’ll come help you. We don’t need four people watching Changbin crack an egg,” Jisung offers, getting up.

“Are you…Are you sure we don’t?” Jeongin questions.

“I need him more,” Minho hisses, glaring defensively back at the maknae. “He needs to help Seungminnie, Channie, and me!”

Jeongin simply shrugs back at him, moving to the other side of the table to take Jisung’s spot.

Before he can, Jisung stops him with a hand on his shoulder before leaning in for a kiss.

“Gross, hyung!” the maknae shouts, squirming out of his grasp.

Jisung huffs dramatically but only has to wait a few seconds for Jeongin to change his mind and pull him into a kiss.

Jisung laughs against his lips in triumph, one hand sliding to the back of the younger’s neck and letting the other card through his hair.

Jeongin moves his arms up to rest his hands on the older boy’s shoulders before abruptly stopping and pulling back when he feels Jisung start to laugh again.

“Go help Minho,” the maknae frowns, pushing Jisung away in response to his laughter (which only makes his boyfriend laugh even harder).

Jisung relents and follows Minho, his lips quirked up into a smile at the light dusting of pink he left on Jeongin’s cheeks after kissing him.

“Can I crack the egg now?” Changbin whines impatiently, hands hovering over the carton as he waits.

“Yes, hyungie! I believe in you!” Hyunjin cheers.

Felix can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not.

“YEAH!” Changbin roars back, plucking an egg from the carton and moving to hover over the bowl.

He takes a sharp breath in before using both hands to tap the egg against the side of the bowl then skillfully crack the egg into the mixture.

“WOW!” Jeongin drawls out, looking impressed.

Even though it was a running joke, Changbin was honestly pretty useless in the kitchen. He had gotten a lot better but Jeongin will never forget the time he burnt pasta. How the fuck does one even burn pasta? And how did his boyfriend manage to set the pasta on fire? It was honestly kind of impressive (in a bad way since Jeongin was really looking forward to pasta that night).

“OH MY GOD!” Hyunjin shouts in genuine disbelief as Felix’s mouth drops open in surprise.

‘They have such little faith in me,’ Changbin thinks to himself but smiles smugly nonetheless.

“FUCK! DID HE ACTUALLY DO IT?” Chan asks in shock, pausing from where he’s sitting cross-legged on the kitchen floor, digging through the bottom drawers for the pan.

“HE FUCKING DID IT!” Felix affirms in astonishment.

“FUCK YEAH, BINNIE!” Jisung cheers from next to Chan on the ground as the oldest gets up and walks a few steps over to embrace Changbin in a hug.

“I’m so proud of you,” Chan whispers into Changbin’s ear as the younger holds him back tightly.

And even though they’re being ridiculous, Changbin can’t help the delighted giggles that bubble up in his throat.

Chan steps back at the sound and smiles softly at Changbin, a hint of concern in his eyes.

“I haven’t heard you laugh in days…” he murmurs, his voice only loud enough for Changbin’s ears.

He looks up at the younger and Changbin feels as though Chan is analyzing him up and down.

He gulps uncomfortably and his gaze turns downward, his good mood dissipating as dread fills his chest from having Chan notice.

“I’m fine,” he grits out between clenched teeth, trying to look inconspicuous as their other boyfriends continue talking around them.

“Changbin-,” Chan starts.

The younger can feel himself getting frustrated with this conversation, wanting nothing more than for it to end already.

“Maybe you haven’t seen me laughing because all you’ve been doing lately is spending your time holed up in the studio instead of with your own boyfriends, hyung,” Changbin cuts him off, his words so bitter that Chan looks taken aback for a second.

Before the leader can start talking again, Changbin moves away from him and back to the dining table.

Felix is again stirring the pancake batter by pressing his hands together and moving them back and forth to make the whisk spin. The others giggle loudly and joke around with one another, oblivious to the conversation Chan and Changbin just had.

Changbin can feel his stomach drop as he walks over, feeling horrible for the words he spoke to Chan. The guilt and regret hit him square in the chest. He didn’t mean to snap at him like that.

“Hey, you okay, Binnie-hyung?” asks Hyunjin, looking quizzically at his boyfriend.

“Yeah. I’m really tired, babe. I might need to go back to sleep before pancakes,” Changbin forces a smile.

“Oh,” Hyunjin pouts, letting out a sad sigh.

“You can go, hyungie. We’ll send someone to get you for pancakes!” Felix says cheerfully, his teeth digging into his bottom lip as he tries to spin the whisk even fast between his hands.

Changbin gives a small chuckle, nodding before walking away without another word.

“He’s been tired a lot lately,” Jeongin comments when he leaves, standing up to crowd in closer to Felix and Hyunjin.

“Yeah,” Hyunjin frowns. “And hyung’s been sleeping even later than Chan-hyung. I sometimes see Changbinnie still up when I stay up late to paint.”

Jeongin’s frown deepens at his words.

He’d seen Changbin less and less as the days passed by. The older boy would always insist on going to bed early despite him still being awake by the time Felix and Chan came in to sleep. And he would miss out on the dates they would have all together, saying that he was too tired or suddenly had an idea for a song and needed to work on it.

Jeongin honestly hasn’t spent time with Changbin other than today since they had built their pillow fort a few weeks ago. The memory makes the maknae’s lips curl up into a tiny smile before his heart clenches worriedly in his chest at how long ago that was.

“Innie- Hey, Innie!”

Jeongin blinks and looks up to find Chan poking him in the side.

“Hm?” Jeongin hums back in question, starting to zone out again before Chan shakes him out of it.

“The pancakes are ready to be cooked. Come help, love,” the leader smiles, yanking Jeongin’s hand and skipping into the kitchen.

The younger lets out a yelp but follows along, his thoughts from before immediately forgotten as he laughs happily.

“You finally found the pan!” Jeongin gasps when he sees the pancake pan sitting in all its glory on top of the stove.

Felix and Hyunjin press in next to him, having abandoned the dining table to bring the pancake batter over to the stove.

“Min found it,” Chan giggles, dimples on full display.

Minho groans in response, muttering something about how grueling and draining and utterly horrible having to scour all the kitchen’s drawers to find the stupid pancake pan was.

“It really wasn't that bad,” Seungmin tells Jeongin, shooting him a look when the second-oldest utters a small, “Fuck you, Seungmin-ah!” under his breath.

“I’m going to go look in the fridge for fruit to put on the pancakes,” Chan speaks excitedly, pulling Minho along with him.

“CHECK IF THERE’S ANY WHIPPED CREAM!” Jeongin shouts over at them.

“OR SYRUP!” Felix adds.

“Syrup?” Hyunjin asks, his nose scrunching up in disgust.

Felix shoves him playfully in response before pouring a bit of oil into the pan.

Everyone watches him tensely, eyes trained on Felix’s hands as they shake in concentration.

Felix finally sighs in relief, managing (with a significant amount of struggle) to pour a decent amount into each groove.

“Wait, turn on the heat, Lixxie,” Seungmin instructs when the boy grabs the bowl with the pancake batter, ready to pour it in.

“Right!” the younger exclaims, switching on the stovetop to medium heat.

Then Hyunjin and Felix both work to pour the batter into the seven pancake holes.

Chan returns a moment later, setting down a stick of salted butter on the counter next to them.

“Jeongin-ah,” he says, placing a knife in the maknae’s hands before leaving once more.

The youngest looks confused for a second, looking helplessly down at the butter as if he’s not sure what to make of it.

“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath, slowly bringing the knife up to cut through the butter.

Not a second later, Minho shows up behind him, placing blueberries on the counter.

“I found fruit! And Channie-hyung found- What are you doing?” Minho stops in the middle of his sentence, turning to the maknae.

“WHO THE HELL GAVE INNIE THE KNIFE?” Minho screeches, bumping the youngest with his hip to get him to move a bit to the side.

Chan freezes at the sudden shout.

Felix turns around and makes eye contact with the leader from where he stands at the second fridge. They stare at each other for a second before Chan slaps a hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing. Felix nearly loses it at the resonating sound of the slapping his hand made over his mouth, barely managing to stifle his own laughter.

“You need to unwrap the butter before cutting it, IN-ah. Why would you-,” Minho continues.

“I’m sorry! No one told me that!” Jeongin whines back.

Minho sighs in exasperation, unwrapping the butter for him. ‘Innie’s lucky he’s cute’ he thinks to himself as he hands back the knife before returning to Chan.

“I think we should flip them,” Jisung speaks up, moving in closer to the stove with a pair of chopsticks.

Felix moves in behind him, melting against Jsiung’s back in a hug.

The older (by a day) chuckles quietly, letting Felix wrap his arms around his waist and his chin rest on Jisung’s shoulder to supervise what he’s doing.

“Shit! Do you think they’re burnt?” Seungmin asks in a panic.

They all hold their breath when Jisung flips the first one.

“THANK GOD!” Hyunjin groans loudly when the bottom side (surprisingly) isn’t burnt.

“You guys did it?” Chan calls out to them, striding over to look for himself.

“YAY!” Felix yells happily as Seungmin and Jisung turn over the rest of the pancakes.

“Oh- Innie,” Chan sighs in disappointment as he shifts his gaze from the pancakes over to butter Jeongin’s attempting to cut.

“I thought- I thought we could have butter with a side of pancakes instead,” Jeongin mutters dejectedly, staring down at the huge chunks of butter he's cut.

The others howl with laughter, at his joke or the sheer size of cubes of butter, the maknae isn’t sure.

Minho walks over to them and can’t help but burst into laughter too.

“Is that tofu?” Jisung jokingly asks.

“YAH!” Jeongin shouts threateningly, shooting his boyfriend an evil glare.

“Okay…I think I’ll take this now,” Chan mutters, gently loosening Jeongin’s grip on the knife and taking it over to the sink.

Jeongin doesn’t protest and lets the leader remove the knife from his hand.

It’s probably better for all of them if he doesn’t have it anyway.

“Shouldn’t we check the-”

Felix’s question is interrupted by the loud blaring of the fire alarm.

Jisung lets out a small yelp at the sudden sound as everyone else freezes in shock.

“SHIT!” Minho shouts, finally shoving past them to turn off the stove.

The others look down and to their horror, the pancakes are smoking. The steam curls up from the pan and Seungmin starts coughing immediately when the steam rolls up into his face.

Chan hurriedly grabs a kitchen towel and waves it back and forth in the air in front of the fire alarm on the wall, praying that it will clear the smoke.

“Oh, God,” Seungmin groans, plugging his ears as the sound persists.

Minho’s not far behind him, flinching and pushing into Seungmin’s side as he registers the agonizing sound.

“Hyung, why won’t it turn off?” Felix shouts as Hyunjin cowers into his and Jisung’s arms, face scrunched up unpleasantly.

“I’m working on it, Lix,” the leader grunts back as Jeongin runs over to the hallway to turn on the air conditioning.

“Fucking hell,” Chan grumbles to himself before dragging over a chair from the table and using it to stand on and open up the alarm on the wall to take out the batteries.

The alarm stops blaring immediately.

“Fuck,” Jeongin sighs in relief as he comes running back into the kitchen.

“Everyone okay?” Chan asks, his eyes worriedly scanning the rest of his boyfriends.

Minho immediately pushes out of Seungmin’s embrace and nods his head, moving over to the burnt pancakes and using the chopsticks to remove them.

“All good,” Seungmin replies, a wobbly smile on his face as he turns back to help Minho.

“Jinnie?” the leader asks softly, walking over to where the boy is still pressed into Felix and Jisung.

“Hyung?” Jeongin asks at the same time, walking over to gently rub up and down Hyunjin’s back.

“Yeah. I’m okay,” Hyunjin says, looking up from Felix’s shoulder to smile brightly at them. “It was just really loud.”

Felix chuckles lightly, agreeing.

Chan smiles, too, relieved that no one seems too affected by the sudden sound. To be honest, his ears are still ringing himself so it’s a relief the alarm’s gone now.

“I can’t believe we burnt them again,” Jisung pipes up, laughing loudly when he sees just how burnt the bottom of the pancakes are.

“They’re just crispy, Hannie. Don’t be rude,” Minho scolds him jokingly.

“Ugh! You guys,” Chan groans out a laugh, a dazzling grin on his face as he goes over to hug Jisung tightly, feeling the boy flinch before relaxing back into him with a content chuckle.
____________________________________________________________________________

After their first pancake disaster, they successfully make four more batches with only a few pancakes being slightly “crispy” as Minho would put it.

Now they’re settled onto the couch, watching some drama Hyunjin recommended as they devour the pancakes decorated with little blueberry faces and whipped cream noses.

“These are pretty good,” Jeongin hums, plucking a blueberry off his pancake and moving the other to make it look like a cyclops.

“Mine are a little burnt,” Felix laughs, leaning over to look at Jeongin’s plate and giggling.

Chan clears his throat, standing up.

“I’m going to go check on Bin. I’ll be right back,” he says, grabbing his empty plate from the coffee table.

Chan smiles but there’s something different about his smile that makes Felix feel uneasy. The leader is good at covering up his own emotions to make everyone else more at ease but after living and being with each other for a while now, Felix can pick up on the underlying apprehension and worry written all over Chan’s face.

“Tell hyungie that his pancakes are waiting in the oven for him,” Hyunjin says happily, oblivious to how tense Chan’s face and shoulders are as he nods back.

“I will, Jinnie,” Chan laughs, walking into the kitchen to set his plate down before stepping back into the living room.

“If he’s still asleep, I’ll just wake him up. We have practice in the afternoon so he needs to eat,” the leader says.

“Okay, hyung!” Jisung agrees, all of them nodding before turning back to the show.

Chan takes a deep breath before turning on his heel and walking down the hallway.

“I- um- M-,” Minho pauses briefly. “I’m going to leave too.”

“Huh? Where are you going, Min?” Seungmin questions, glancing over at his boyfriend before looking back at the drama playing on TV.

“Tired,” Minho explains, shuffling into the kitchen to rinse his and Chan’s plates before heading back to his room.

“I’ll come wake you up when it’s time to leave,” Jisung calls from the couch as Minho leaves.

The older boy doesn’t look back, trudging down the hall without any indication that he’s even heard Jisung.

“That was…weird,” Jisung continues once the door to Minho’s room has closed, looking confused.

“Yeah,” Jeongin agrees, bringing another piece of pancake up to his lips.

Felix hums back before looking over to Hyunjin, who’s sitting on the ground in front of him, reading through messages likely from one of his friends.

“Hyunie,” he whispers, nudging him with his foot. “Get up here so we can cuddle.”

Felix smiles, waiting for him to respond as he massages Hyunjin’s neck and shoulders. He presses forward, trying to look over the boy's shoulder and see what he’s looking at on his phone.

“Get off me, Felix,” Hyunjin mutters.

Felix can feel his blood run cold as he sits back up and removes his hands as if he’s been burned.

“W- What?” he asks, his voice shaky as he blinks back the sudden tears pooling in his eyes.

He and Hyunjin have always been touchy with one another and their daily hugging has only increased now that they’re dating. Felix is used to the two of them joking around together, always wrestling or going over to give each other a quick hug and kiss during breaks while practicing.

Hyunjin has always been appreciative of his hugs. All the members have despite Felix knowing a lot of them don’t love skinship. His boyfriends know that Felix uses touch to communicate and that skinship is his form of comfort so they all try their best to reciprocate, especially Hyunjin, Chan, and Changbin, who love hugs as well. Recently it hasn’t felt that way though.

They’ve been busy and stress has been rising all week so Felix is grateful for Hyunjin’s pancake idea because he got to spend more time with his lovely boyfriends even if it did take a few hours from his sleep.

But now it feels like everything’s gone back to how it was before breakfast today.

Felix misses them. He misses his boyfriends. And he misses his boyfriend’s comfort and hugs and cuddling and kisses. And he misses the feeling of Hyunjin’s arms wrapped around him in an embrace.

“I said get off,” Hyunjin says louder as he pushes up from the ground, whirling around to face the younger.

“What’s going on?” Jisung asks as Seungmin and Jeongin also look over at Hyunjin’s sudden harsh words.

“Nothing,” Hyunjin rolls his eyes before another notification pops up on his phone.

Felix sees his expression harden again before he looks back up at him.

“Stop being clingy, Lix. I was trying to watch the show,” Hyunjin says darkly, his face void of emotions as he looks into Felix’s eyes.

“O- Oh,” Felix exhales.

“Sorry, Hyunjin-ah. I won’t bother you. I’ll let you watch now,” he promises, feeling guilt spread through him like a wildfire.

“It’s fine,” Hyunjin sighs, his phone pinging again a second later. “…I was just leaving.”

Felix watches as Hyunjin looks down at his phone once more before moving swiftly out of the room and toward the bathroom.

“Wait, Jinnie! You didn’t finish your food!” Seungmin shouts after the boy but it’s to no avail.

“What the fuck is going on?” Jisung repeats again under his breath.

Felix shrugs, his eyes watery as he forces himself to look back up at the drama, the characters and scenery swimming before his eyes as he tries not to let the tears fall.

Suddenly the sound of thundering footsteps and arguing carries down the hall.

The four boys reminding on the couch quickly turn and watch as Chan and Changbin advance down the hall.

Changbin walks in front, looking pissed off as he angrily brushes off the hand Chan keeps trying to lay on his shoulder. Chan looks just enraged as he speaks in a hushed whisper, angrily spitting the words out to Changbin.

“Can you just-”

Jeongin thinks he hears Chan say as the two of them pause at the end of the hall.

Then Changbin’s eyes are turning fiery and he’s replying but it’s far too quiet for the maknae to pick up on what he says.

“CHANGBIN!” Chan finally raises his voice as the younger boy strides over to the front door.

“What, Chan?” Changbin bites back, looking aggravated.

“Just fucking talk to me, Bin,” Chan’s voice thunders through the entire room as the other member’s eyes widen in shock.

The only response is the sound of the front door slamming, the force of it shaking the house as Changbin leaves.

Chan lets out a groan halfway between a garbled sound of pain and a moan of anger and exasperation. His head falls forward and hits the door in front of him as his fist weakly pounds down on the door that Changbin just left through.

“Fuck,” he whimpers pathetically, staring down at the ground as irritation fills him.

He’s not just angry at Changbin. He’s mad at himself. Why wouldn’t Changbin just fucking talk to him? Why wouldn’t he trust them? Why wouldn’t he trust Chan?

The thoughts overwhelm the oldest so much so that he barely even hears Felix speak up a moment later.

“…Hyung. Hyung! Is everything okay?”

Chan turns around finally, looking surprised to see the four of them still sitting in the living room.

“Yeah.”

He can feel his mouth go dry.

“E- Everything’s fine, love. It’s nothing. Changbin just decided to go workout before practice.”

Chan tries to smile but it falls short. They all know he’s lying anyway.

“…He didn’t eat though,” Jeongin mutters.

No one speaks.

Chan inhales deeply before averting his eyes from his other boyfriends.

“Binnie can eat later. …It’s nothing. It’s fine,” he finally speaks.

The others nod in agreement, not saying a word.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Minho-hyung, have you seen-”

Felix stops short when he sees the older laying on Hyunjin’s bed, his stuffed animal out in front of him, clutched in one hand.

Minho freezes for a second before scrambling up to look over at his boyfriend in the doorway.

Felix sees the split-second that fear glints in Minho’s eyes before it’s gone in a flash.

“Oh, baby,” he frowns apologetically, moving towards him.

“What were you going to ask me?” Minho grumbles, discreetly taking some calming breaths as he moves over to his bed to put Hae away.

“You- You aren’t little anymore?” Felix asks, his frown deepening.

“No,” Minho huffs, looking at his boyfriend as if he’s oblivious.

Felix walks into the room further, locking eyes with Minho.

The older quickly breaks eye contact, his hand held firmly over his stomach as he inhales before exhaling through his nose, trying to compose himself once more.

“Aw,” Felix groans playfully. “I wish I could’ve gotten a hug from my little kitten.”

Minho can feel his breathing stutter for a moment, the fuzziness threatening to return as he tries not to slip back into littlespace.

“Shut up, Felix,” Minho grits out.

Felix’s smile vanishes as he turns more serious.

He makes his way over to plop down on Hyunjin’s bed where Minho has settled once again after putting Hae under his bed.

“You know you don’t have to hide your stuffie, right, hyung? None of us mind,” Felix starts, treading carefully as he looks Minho up and down.

Minho lets out a sigh.

He wants nothing more than to be anywhere else but here. He doesn’t want to have this conversation right now. Regressing in front of the others had been a mistake. Minho doesn’t understand how his boyfriends can be so accepting when he can’t even learn to accept it himself. Do they not see how strange he is?

“I know, Felix-ah. I’m just used to putting my- my stuffed animal there before you found out.”

“But you don’t need to hide anymore. We know and we all don’t mind taking care of you,” Felix says softly.

“Well, I mind, Felix-ah,” Minho spits out, narrowing his eyes at the comforter beneath him. “I don’t know why you’re all so fine with me age regressing- but I’m not fine with it. I’m not comfortable with you yet.”

Felix sucks in a breath at his confession.

“Is that- Is that why you haven’t been regressing around us? he questions gently.

“Yes,” Minho emphasizes. “I can take care of myself. I don’t want caregivers.”

“Hyung…” the younger trails off in confusion. “Last time you said you felt comfortable with us and wanted to try it out and-”

“Whatever, Felix. I’m allowed to change my mind. Did you really expect you guys to find out about my littlespace and for me to then automatically let you become my caregivers since we’re dating? That’s not how it works, Lix,” Minho snaps.

He feels beyond gross and uncomfortable at this point. Minho doesn’t want to be having this conversation. Why can't Felix just leave him alone? He shouldn’t be regressing in the first place and having caregivers would make everything so much worse. It had felt so nice to be looked after when he had slipped in front of them the second time. But Minho didn’t deserve that. He doesn’t deserve his boyfriends dropping everything to take care of him.

“No,” Felix answers, voice lilting up in confusion. “That’s not what I expected, no. But I did expect you to communicate with us and at least try having us take care of you while you’re little. And even if you’ve changed your mind, which I don’t think you have since you were laying on Hyunjin’s bed when I came in, I thought you would’ve at least told us that you decided you didn’t want us as your caregivers.”

Minho feels his stomach drop at Felix’s words.

He does want them to be his caregivers. He really likes them being around while he’s regressed. It makes him feel so much less lonely than he usually is.

But it’s easier to shut people out than to admit something you’re afraid of.

It’s easier to let his insecurities wash over him and push away any form of comfort that his boyfriends provide so he can avoid being vulnerable and opening up to them.

Felix glances to his side and sees Minho’s furrowed eyebrows and scrunched-up face as he unconsciously glares down at Hyunjin’s bedsheets.

“Baby,” he whispers with a sympathetic frown.

His hand moves to touch Minho’s arm but as soon as he makes contact with him, the older boy is violently jerking back.

Minho leaps up from the bed and turns to face Felix.

His skin is burning from where Felix touched him and Minho can feel his eyes sting as he pants for breath.

“Don’t- Don’t touch me,” he finally gets out.

Felix’s worried eyes immediately shoot up to Minho’s face.

“I won’t! I won’t, hyung,” he promises earnestly.

Minho doesn't believe him.

He takes another step back, analyzing Felix’s movements for the moment that he inevitably gets up and makes his way towards him again.

But the moment never comes.

Felix stays rooted in his spot, his hands splayed out on his thighs to show Minho that he won’t hurt him in any way. He never would. His boyfriends mean the world to him and if Minho doesn’t want him to touch then he won’t.

Once the older boy notices Felix isn’t making any moves to touch him, he relaxes a bit, feeling embarrassed for reacting so strongly.

He quickly schools his expression before speaking again.

“Let’s go get ready for practice.”

His voice comes out flat and monotone but he doesn’t care as he strides out of the room, not even waiting for a response as he heads to the bathroom.

Minho nearly bumps into Hyunjin on the way out, both of them not acknowledging each other whatsoever.

Felix blinks at the ground in shock for a moment before he hears some scuffling and looks up to see Hyunjin opening a drawer and pulling out his practice clothes.

The boy doesn’t speak a word as he continues staring down at his phone while he rummages through the drawer with one hand. It seems as though he doesn’t even realize Felix is in the same room as him.

And as soon as he’s gathered his clothes, Hyunjin leaves just like Minho, and Felix is left alone once more.

Chapter Text

The air lies thick with tension as Stray Kids go over the choreography for what feels like the hundredth time.

They get all the way to the end of the song when Seungmin, Changbin, and Minho stumble on one of the last few moves and strike the ending pose a few beats too late.

Minho’s gaze turns to Chan immediately and he sees the older’s hard stare at the three of them so he quickly scampers over to pause the music. His head stays downturned as he runs over, feeling ashamed for messing up such a simple move.

Seungmin huffs out a quick breath, looking annoyed with himself as the music finally gets turned off.

The room is silent for a moment and it feels as though someone could cut the tension with a knife.

Then Chan is letting out a frustrated sigh.

And that seems to be the final straw for Changbin as he instantly snaps and starts yelling back at him.

“WHAT THE FUCK, HYUNG? WE’RE ALL TRYING OUR BEST, CAN’T YOU SEE THAT? YOU DON’T NEED TO MAKE US FEEL WORSE! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US HAS BEEN MESSING UP! …INCLUDING YOU! SO WHY THE HELL ARE YOU-”

Changbin cuts himself off when he feels hesitant hands wrapping around his waist from the back.

“FUCK OFF, FELIX!” Changbin cries, clutching the boy’s hands before harshly throwing them off his body.

Felix feels himself take a step back and freeze for a minute, staring directly into the other’s eyes when he turns around.

Changbin’s eyes are dark, glinting with anger and surprisingly glassy with tears.

Felix can feel concern start to seep into his emotions.

Changbin looks scared. He looks so terrified and Felix doesn’t know what’s going on but his first instinct is to always comfort his boyfriend.

He takes an unconscious step forward.

This makes Changbin back up slightly, his eyes watering even more.

Then in an instant, his face is stiffening and the anger is rising up again.

“I TOLD YOU TO STOP, LIX!” he shouts, his mouth twisted up in a sneer holding so much disgust and fury that Felix can feel his own vision go blurry with tears.

“You’re so fucking annoying,” Changbin mutters loudly under his breath.

“CHANGBIN! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? WHY’D YOU-” Felix thinks Chan yells back but the sounds around him are all fading, turning into a muted pounding in his ears.

Then Felix opens his eyes back up, not sure when he even closed them to begin with, and sees Changbin yelling again and Chan shouting right back.

He feels a light touch on his shoulder and recognizes faintly that it’s Jeongin.

“Lix? Hyung?” he hears Jeongin call worriedly.

It’s enough to snap him out of his head and all of a sudden, the fighting is back at full volume, making Felix’s ears throb and the tears fall down his cheeks.

He sniffs pathetically before brushing off Jeongin and running out of the room.

He can hear the others arguing even through the closed door so he runs faster, his lungs burning as he sobs harshly.

Felix makes it to the bathroom and slams the door shut, retreating back into one of the stalls.

He reaches a hand up and clutches onto the top of the stall, right to the side of the door, his whole body slumping into the wall as he cries.

Felix can’t think as the tears spill from his eyes and drip down onto the grimy floor of the bathroom. His mind is a mess of thoughts as he presses his face against the cold wall, turning into it as it’s his only comfort right now.

Suddenly, the bathroom door creaks open and Felix hears the shuffling of feet as the person walks in and the door shuts behind them.

Felix continues crying, not caring enough to silence his noises on the off chance that it’s not one of his boyfriends.

“Hyungie!” a voice calls, sounding frantic and worried.

Jeongin’s sweet voice makes Felix only cry harder.

“Could you- Can you open the door for me? Please?”

Felix shakes his head despite knowing his boyfriend can’t see from where he stands outside of the stall.

He wants nothing more than a hug from his boyfriend but Felix doesn’t deserve that. He made Changbin upset and made him and Chan fight so he shouldn’t get to be cuddled and kissed and cared for.

“Hyung, I’m- I’m scared,” Jeongin admits.

He’s seen the marks on Felix’s arms and larger ones at his hips that are usually hidden under pants or a t-shirt.

Jeongin’s never asked about them but he had once walked in on Chan and Minho kissing Felix’s wrists as he cried. Chan had noticed him at the door and quickly went over after whispering something quietly to the other two on the bed. Then the older had simply pushed Jeongin out of the room, explaining that Felix was just having a bad day, before telling the maknae to order some food for them tonight. Chan had smiled reassuringly at him but Jeongin had always known that it was a lot more than just a bad day.

But that was before they had started dating. And Jeongin had never asked about it since.

“I’m- I’m going to slide underneath, okay?” the maknae continues, his nose wrinkling up in disgust at how dirty the ground looks.

It’s worth it though if it’ll get him to Felix.

When the older doesn’t respond, Jeongin takes a deep breath.

He carefully crouches down, mindful not to put his hands on the floor at any moment, before shuffling forward.

He grips onto the bottom of the very last stall, the one that Felix is in. Then he awkwardly twists his body around, his arms clutching hard at the bottom of the door before he uses his feet to push himself underneath.

Once he’s about halfway under, Jeongin realizes that there were at least ten easier ways he could have done that. ‘Oh well,’ he thinks to himself as he sits down on the floor, pulling his feet the rest of the way into the stall.

He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding before bringing his knees into his chest and standing up.

It’s a little awkward standing up without using his arms to propel himself upward and Jeongin stumbles, nearly toppling backward if it wasn’t for the hand that shoots out and grabs onto his hoodie.

Jeongin gasps, clutching onto Felix’s arm and letting the older boy pull him forward until he’s stable on his feet once more.

“You dumbass,” Felix whispers, a wet chuckle escaping his lips as more tears roll down his face.

Jeongin’s expression falls, moving in closer to Felix.

“Hyung…” he starts hesitantly.

“I want a hug. Can you give me a hug?” Jeongin breathes out in a rush.

Felix looks back at him with wide eyes.

“I thought you didn’t like hugs, Innie?” he chuckles.

“Maybe I- Maybe I only like your hugs,” Jeongin whispers back, gently loosening Felix’s fingers from where they still grip onto his hoodie.

“Ah,” Felix sighs, shaking his head fondly. “We won’t tell the others then.”

Jeongin giggles quietly as he intertwines Felix’s fingers with his own.

Felix smiles lightly despite the tears never stopping.

He takes a step forward and embraces his boyfriend, wrapping his non-occupied arm around Jeongin’s waist as the younger still holds his other hand gently.

Jeongin sighs, letting his head drop down to Felix’s shoulder as he embraces him warmly back.

“Thanks, cutie,” Felix exhales.

Jeongin doesn’t reply back as he holds Felix, letting the older slump into his embrace even further.

They hold each other for a while before sinking down onto the bathroom floor together, Felix ending up in Jeongin’s lap as they hold each other even closer.

And even though this is far from Jeongin’s favorite form of affection from his boyfriends, how close he’s holding Felix and the warmth and comfort the boy sitting on his lap provide are something he’s growing to love.

“I love you, hyung,” Jeongin says, not hesitating this time or stuttering or feeling any nerves at all.

He wants Felix to know. And he’ll remind his boyfriend (all of his boyfriends) every day if he has to.

Felix jolts at the sudden admission, breaking away a bit to stare back at the maknae.

Then his face is lifting into a smile, one filled with so much love and warmth that it makes Jeongin want to melt into a puddle on the dirty bathroom floor.

“I love you too, baby,” he says before pausing and giggling loudly.

Jeongin tilts his head in confusion.

“Am I the first one you said that to?” Felix asks, looking smug.

Jeongin looks taken aback for a second before looking away sheepishly.

Felix lets out an offended gasp.

“Who was it, IN-ah? I can’t believe..,” Felix laments.

“I said it first to Changbin-hyung,” Jeongin quickly cuts him off. “But I said it to you second!”

Felix stills for a moment at the mention of the other boy before forcing a laugh.

Jeongin instantly feels bad, pressing closer to Felix as he nuzzles his face into the crook between his boyfriend’s neck and shoulder.

“We should probably get back, huh?” Felix whispers softly, stroking Jeongin’s hair.

The younger hums in agreement but makes no move to let Felix get off his lap.

“C’mon, cutie, we have to finish learning the choreo,” Felix laughs, nudging the younger, the tears long gone as he pulls himself out of Jeongin’s lap.

Jeongin whines out at the thought of having to leave and go back to dancing and the fighting that had been going on when he left.

Nevertheless, he takes Felix’s hand and lets the boy haul his limp body up to his feet, making sure to do everything in his power to make it nearly impossible for Felix.
____________________________________________________________________________

When Felix and Jeongin return to the practice room, the members have long dispersed around the room, all taking a break to rest and drink water.

Some of them are conversing quietly while others sit in silence.

The room feels empty without their normal cheer and laughter. And it feels cold without them all joking around together and having fun.

As the door swings shut behind them, Changbin instantly looks up, having been sitting silently on the couch over to the side.

Jeongin squeezes Felix’s hand tighter, his heartbeat picking up as the older stands and walks towards them.

The sound of footsteps has Chan looking up from across the room where he had been talking to Jisung and Seungmin. When he sees the two standing by the door and Changbin walking towards them, he pauses mid-sentence and strides over as well.

“I’m sorry, Lixie,” is the first thing Changbin sputters out when he gets close enough, Chan coming in right behind him and standing close to Jeongin.

Felix swears the older’s eyes become teary once again but he’s in too much shock to pay attention to that right now.

“I-,” Felix stutters out before being interrupted again.

“Please, I- I’m so sorry, Lix. You’re- You’re not annoying at all. You-. I love your hugs. I’m so sorry! I’m-”

“Hyung,” Felix cuts in, his voice low and steady as he locks eyes with the man in front of him before Changbin looks away quickly.

“Lixie, I-”

“Hyung,” Felix repeats, his voice firm.

The tone of his voice is enough to get Changbin to stop apologizing and finally meet Felix’s eyes.

“Hyung,” Felix emphasizes once more. “…You looked like you were going to cry. You… Changbin-hyung, you looked scared. I- What’s going on, hyungie? That wasn’t like you at all!”

The concern and tenderness of Felix’s voice has Changbin’s eyes quickly becoming misty.

He gulps harshly, his eyes still locked with Felix.

“I don’t…” Changbin trails off, his voice failing him as he looks down.

“Bin,” Chan steps in, putting a hand gently on his shoulder.

He opens his mouth to continue but Changbin is already speaking.

“I’m sorry, hyung. I’m really sorry, Channie-hyung. Y- You didn’t do anything,” he emphasizes, frustration at himself bleeding through his words. “I was overreacting because of this morning. I’m so sorry.”

“I forgive you, love,” Chan says softly, wrapping an arm across the younger boy’s shoulders and squeezing him tightly to his chest.

Changbin shakes his head in response, making Chan frown deeply as he steps back to give him some space.

“It’s- It’s okay, Changbinnie, I just- I just want to know what’s going on with you,” Chan continues, his voice turning into a whisper.

“I want to help,” he finishes with a sigh.

Chan hates beyond anything feeling helpless and unable to care for his boyfriends. They deserve so much and Chan wishes he could give them everything.

“I know,” Changbin replies quietly, not wanting to look up in fear of meeting any of their eyes.

“I just- I just- I’m not feeling good.”

It’s silent for a moment.

Chan doesn’t believe him. And he doesn’t think the other two do either.

But he sighs nonetheless and nods.

“Let’s get back to practicing. We need to get the ending right.”
____________________________________________________________________________

It’s around two in the morning when Seungmin carefully climbs down the ladder of the bunk bed and slinks out of his bedroom as quietly as he can.

He looks back at his two boyfriends as he closes the door behind him and sighs in relief when he sees them both still sleeping peacefully.

He had been tossing and turning for well over an hour before deciding to finally just get up. It was no use trying to sleep if his body didn’t want him to.

“Fuck,” Seungmin mumbles out under his breath, bringing his hands up to press harshly against his face.

His palms dig into his eyes and his vision turns black for a second before he slowly lets his hands drop back down.

Seungmin takes a breath, the sudden anxiety filling his chest making his skin flush and heartbeat quicken.

He shuffles down the hallway further and makes it to Felix, Changbin, and Chan’s bedroom.

He slowly peaks in, wincing at the small squeak the floorboards make as he steps in.

It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust but soon he can make out the members' faces, all calmy resting in their beds.

Seungmin lets out the breath he was holding and exits the room.

‘I’m overreacting,’ he thinks to himself. ‘Why am I so anxious? They’re all here. They’re all safe.’

Seungmin turns and walks a few steps forward before pushing open Jisung and Jeongin’s room and looking inside.

His vision lands on Jeongin’s bed first but to his horror, he finds that it’s empty.

Seungmin’s breath hitches as he strides quickly into the room. ‘Why’s his bed empty? Where’s Innie?’

He can feel his breathing pick up slightly as he stares at the barren mattress, his thoughts overwhelming him.

“S- Seungminnie?” a voice startles him out of his mind and he quickly spins around.

“Minnie, baby, is that you?” Jisung’s voice calls out again, sitting up on his elbows to squint over at the boy.

It’s then that Seungmin notices the human-sized lump of blankets laying next to Jisung.

“What’s- goin’ on?” Jeongin yawns, using one arm to push up the blankets engulfing him to look over toward the two of them.

“Seungmin-ah, what’s wrong?” Jisung asks, leaping out of bed once he finally blinks the sleep away from his eyes and notices Seungmin’s shaking figure a few feet away from his bed.

“S- Sorry,” Seungmin stutters out, which is enough to have Jeongin sitting fully upright on the bed.

“Hey, no, no, no. What’s wrong, baby?” Jisung says gently, taking the boy into his arms.

Seungmin shakes his head against Jisung’s shoulder.

He doesn’t know what’s wrong.

Even now that he knows where Jeongin is, the anxiety isn’t going away. He feels restless and scared and most of all, exhausted. And he doesn’t know why.

“Let’s get you into bed, Minnie,” Jisung murmurs into his ear, leading Seungmin back over to the bed where Jeongin sits.

Seungmin’s knees bump into the mattress in front of him and he blindly reaches out for Jeongin’s hand.

“‘M right here,” Jeongin whispers sleepily as he grasps onto Seungmin’s hand and pulls him onto the mattress.

Jisung climbs in after him, pushing Seungmin closer to Jeongin so he doesn’t tumble off the bed accidentally.

Seungmin can’t help but still feel the restlessness from before, shifting around to try and get comfortable in between his two boyfriends.

“Seungminnie,” Jisung shushes, pulling the boy close and letting him rest against his chest.

Jeongin rubs Seungmin’s back as well as he disappears back under his clump of blankets to fall asleep again.

Seungmin lets out a sigh, his body slowly relaxing as he hears the steady beating of Jisung’s heart threatening to send him right off to sleep.

“You’re safe, baby. You’re safe right here. You’re safe with me,” Jisung whispers, sleep dripping off of his voice as he tries to keep his eyes open long enough to press a kiss to Seungmin’s forehead.

“Safe,” Seungmin finds himself repeating back as he finally drifts off, Jisung’s heartbeat lulling him to sleep as Jeongin’s hand running up and down his back slowly comes to a stop.

Chapter Text

Breakfast is odd, to say the least. Everything with Changbin, Chan, and Felix had been resolved the other day but things are still tense.

Seungmin looks around the table at all his boyfriends and feels his heart clench in his chest, his face pinching up in a pained grimace.

Changbin looks closed off, his face void of emotions as he sits without saying a word to any of them. Felix is beside him, having scooted his body as far away from the members as he can without it looking like he’s purposely trying to avoid them.

Seungmin glances back down and takes another bite of his meal, complimenting the food quietly to which Minho nods his head in thanks.

The second oldest has been fidgety and restless since he had dished up breakfast, his eyes now darting around the room anxiously as he blinks rapidly.

The others aren’t faring any better.

Jeongin isn’t speaking a word, appearing to be spaced out for most of breakfast until Seungmin occasionally nudges him and includes him in the conversation. Hyunjin, too, isn’t saying much as he stares hard down at the table, his food lying untouched in front of him.

The only ones actively conversing with Seungmin are Jisung and Chan.

Despite Jisung’s nervous leg bouncing and Chan’s worried eyes sweeping across the table to the rest of the members every once in a while, they manage to have a nice talk about potential dates they can go on in the upcoming weeks. Their schedule clears up a bit after a few more packed weeks so they’ll be able to have more time to spend together and a break from the recent ongoing schedules and stress.

Jisung is bringing up a new video game he bought with Felix, finally enticing Jeongin to join into the conversation, when Seungmin hears a quiet sigh to his right.

His eyes dart over and he sees Felix standing up from his spot.

“You done, Lix?” Seungmin calls softly, eyes locked on the plate of untouched food in Felix’s spot.

Felix grunts in response, which could be written off as exhaustion as they did just wake up. But after yesterday, Seungmin is willing to bet that it’s a lot more than that.

Felix pushes his plate over to Chan, knowing the older will likely finish some of it, before leaving the room.

Seungmin can feel his heart thundering in his chest as he gets to his feet.

“Wait, baby…” he requests, trailing off as he watches Felix walk further away and disappear down the hall leading to their bedrooms.

“It’s alright,” Chan sighs despite the way Seungmin can see his breaths quicken and the fact that it is very much not alright.

“We’ll make sure he eats lunch, Seungm-”

All of a sudden, the temperature is rising and a shock of fright jolts up Seungmin’s spine as Chan grabs his wrist from across the table.

Chan must notice that something’s wrong as he asks, “Minnie? Seungminnie, are you okay, love?”

But the older’s voice is too quiet to hear over the harsh sounds of Seungmin’s own breathing.

Then Chan’s hand is tightening where he’s grasped onto Seungmin’s wrist.

Seungmin lets out a cry.

He wrenches his hand away and his breaths turn erratic, hot tears welling up in his eyes as he stumbles away from the table.

He’s not safe.

Seungmin ignores their questions and rushes away from the table, his mind unable to process what he’s even panicking over.

He runs down the hall and into his shared bedroom with Minho and Hyunjin. His arms rise up to press down on the top of his head, trying to open up his airway to get his breathing under control.

They have a long practice today. Seungmin doesn’t have time for this. And after, he has a singing lesson. He needs his voice to be perfect. He can’t mess up.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” he whispers under his breath as sinks to his knees, chest aching as he finally gets his breathing under control.
____________________________________________________________________________

By the time Felix gets back from the company, it’s already well into the afternoon.

His muscles throb and exhaustion sits deep in his bones as he trudges up to the front door.

He assumes some of the others must be home as well, but Felix doesn’t bother seeking them out as his feet carry him to the bathroom.

He closes the door behind him and lets out a worn-out sigh.

Felix takes a deep breath in, his eyes fluttering closed as he exhales.

There’s a feeling of emptiness that sits deep within Felix’s chest, the feeling of loneliness clinging to him as he walks over to turn on the shower.

He barely even notices his eyes prickling with tears as the hot steam from the shower wafts through the bathroom.

When the water has heated up enough, Felix steps in. He inhales sharply at the sudden feeling of warmth, wrapping his arms around himself.

It reminds him of when he was a kid and used to stand in front of the oven, squeezing his arms tightly around himself.

He would close his eyes and pretend it was one of his parents’ hugs or one of his sisters until his mother would yell at him to go to bed.

A sudden knock startles Felix out of his thoughts and he unconsciously holds himself tighter.

“C- Can I come in?” someone calls.

Felix furrows his eyebrows. None of them ever ask to come into the bathroom. They have been living together for years so it’s natural for them to just walk in without asking.

“Yeah. Go ahead,” Felix pipes up.

He hears the person shuffle in and shut the door behind them but his brain is still too muddled to try and figure out who it is.

“Lix?”

Felix spins around and finds Hyunjin standing awkwardly next to the shower.

Hyunjin’s eyes shine beautifully and his hair almost looks golden in the light filtering in from the small window. The upper part of his hair is tied back with a small ribbon from practice and his shoulders are drawn in as if afraid of how Felix will respond.

“You can join me, Jinnie. Hop in,” Felix says softly, a tiny smile making itself visible on his lips when he sees Hyunjin visibly relax.

He reaches over and grabs the bottle of shampoo, soaping up his air as Hyunjin gets undressed.

Then his boyfriend is reappearing and stepping into the shower with him.

Hyunjin wordlessly reaches his hands out and starts washing Felix’s hair, tilting the other’s head back before massaging his scalp to get rid of all the soap.

Felix hums gratefully, closing his eyes tightly so he can avoid the soapy water trickling down his face.

Hyunjin finishes and hands Felix the conditioner.

The older boy starts applying shampoo to his own hair before muttering something under his breath that Felix doesn’t catch.

“Huh?” the younger eloquently asks.

Hyunjin hesitantly meets his eyes as Felix steps back under the spray of the water.

“…I’m sorry,” Hyunjin apologizes just as Felix’s eyes flutter shut.

Felix sighs at the feeling of the warm water before opening his eyes to look over at Hyunjin.

When their eyes meet, Felix instantly knows what the other boy is referring to.

“You- You don’t have to be sorry. It’s fine if you’re not always okay with skinship. I know I can be- a bit uh- overbearing with skinship so…” Felix brushes him off despite the lump forming in his throat at his own words.

He tries to laugh, attempting to ease Hyunjin’s nerves a bit.

“No, Felix, no,” Hyunjin frowns, his hands falling back down to his sides. “You aren’t overbearing. I- I love you hugs. It was just- I um-”

Felix gives him a bitter smile.

“You don’t have to explain,” he says quietly.

Hyunjin swallows, looking up at his boyfriend with fearful eyes.

He quickly glances away and starts putting conditioner in his hair.

Felix takes that as his cue to rinse out his own.

The feeling of loneliness increases as the seconds go by.

He shivers at the feeling, wrapping his arms around himself as he lets Hyunjin use the water again.

He wants nothing more than to help Hyunjin wash out his hair, but something inside him stops him. Hyunjin probably doesn’t want that from Felix. He shouldn’t assume. And besides, Felix doesn’t deserve that. ‘I don’t deserve a lot of things,’ he thinks to himself.

‘I don’t deserve…’ Felix’s thoughts fade away as he blinks himself back into the present, internally grimacing at where his mind had been heading.

“Actually, I- Hyunjin…” he clears his throat.

“I think I need- need to talk to all of you guys.”

Hyunjin freezes, the water splattering down onto the top of his head as he scrubs at his hair.

“Are you-” Hyunjin swallows. “…doing okay?”

Felix thinks for a minute, his eyes locked with Hyunjin’s before he shakes his head.

Hyunjin continues looking at him for a minute before moving out of the way and letting Felix use the water.

He doesn’t utter a word in response and they go back to showering in silence.
____________________________________________________________________________

Felix is getting dressed in his shared bedroom with Chan and Changbin when someone pads up quietly behind him.

Felix yanks a shirt over his head and pulls it down, brushing his wet hair off his forehead.

Hyunjin again doesn’t say a word as he shoves a hand in front of Felix’s line of sight.

The younger boy pauses and looks down at the little daisies sitting in Hyunjin’s palm.

“For me?” he asks softly.

Hyunjin avoids eye contact but shows a small smile as he hands them over.

“Love you,” he mutters so quietly Felix can barely catch his words.

The admission makes Felix smile brightly, taking the flowers and admiring them in his hand.

When he looks up a second later, Hyunjin is already gone. But the flush on Felix’s face stays as he towels off his hair, his eyes locked on the delicate, white flowers perched on the dresser.
____________________________________________________________________________

Seungmin lets out a long sigh as he pushes open the front door.

He stops short when he sees the rest of the members minus Chan sitting awkwardly on the sofa and floor with Felix curled up in the middle of the couch.

Felix’s head snaps up to look at Seungmin as the door shuts behind him.

“What’s um- What’s going on?” he stutters out, not having expected his boyfriends to be out in the living room together after the morning they had.

“Felix wanted to uh- talk to us,” Jisung speaks up, his eyes flitting quickly over to the younger boy then back to Seungmin.

“Channie should be coming soon,” Jeongin informs as Seungmin quickly kicks off his shoes and shuffles over to the couch.

He inserts himself between Felix and Jisung, taking one of Felix’s hands since his boyfriend looks halfway to tears and they haven’t even talked yet.

Everything’s silent for a minute before Chan is bursting through the front door.

“Sorry! Fuck, sorry! I’m here. What’s happening?” the oldest fumbles through chucking his shoes off before hurriedly walking over to the sofa.

“You’re good, hyung,” Felix reassures, his voice soft as he avoids eye contact. “We’ve only been waiting a few minutes. And I just need to talk to you guys about something; that’s all.”

“Oh, okay, okay,” Chan breaths out, running a hand through his hair.

He then plops down beside Hyunjin since it doesn’t seem like the boy wants to move from his spot at Felix’s side.

Felix waits a moment for everyone to get settled before taking a deep breath. He removes his hand from Seungmin’s and smooths his palms down his thighs.

“I need-,” Felix breaks off to exhale harshly.

“Fuck!” he curses in frustration, making Hyunjin jolt at his side and sit up more. “I need…”

Tears are threatening to roll down his cheeks at not being able to get the words out but Felix needs to tell them.

“Lixie, it’s okay-”

“No, it’s not!” Felix interrupts Jisung through gritted teeth.

“I need- I need you guys to- to,” he pants out as his knuckles grip onto the couch beneath him.

“I need you to tell me- tell me when you don’t want hugs.”

Felix winces.

That’s not exactly what he had been trying to say but oh, well. There's nothing he can do about it now.

He glances up at them and continues.

“I need you to just talk to me instead of- instead off-“ he cuts himself off again as tears stream down his face.

“I just need you to tell me,” he hiccups. “I know that I’m annoying and- clingy. And I can be overwhelming and irritating with my hugs an’ a- affection. And I’m sorry. I’m s- sorry that I- that I bother you guys. But you- you just have to tell me and I- I won’t anymore.”

The members all stare at him in shock as the words spill from his mouth.

“We- Y- You guys said that- that you didn’t mind. That- That you were all f- fine with me hugging you a- anytime I needed to. But you- you obviously do. You obviously do mind. I- I told you that- that I didn’t m- mind a- asking you every- every time just in c- case, but y- you guys told me not to! Y- You told me t- that was un- unnecessary,” Felix sobs out, not bothering to hide his tears as they stream down his face.

He tries to breathe in but it turns into another sob, his face a mess of snot and tears.

“Shit, Lix,” Changbin is the first to respond.

He leaps up from his spot on the ground and engulfs Felix in a hug.

He presses the boy into his chest as he leans down, knee digging into the couch beside Felix.

“Y- You just could’ve t- talked to me. Y- You didn’t h- have to yell,” Felix cries, melting into Changbin’s embrace. “H- Hyungie, you could have just t- told me, ‘N- Not now’. M- Minho-hyung and S- Seungminnie d- do that a- all the time w- when they don’t w- want a hug, and I d- don’t mind, hyung. Hyung, I don’t m- mind.”

Changbin can feel his heart break as he holds Felix even tighter.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers back gruffly, trying not to let his emotions show as a surge of guilt and self-hatred fill his stomach.

“I’m so- so sorry, Lixie, baby,” Changbin’s voice breaks.

“It’s okay. You- You apologized, hyung. I just- I just want y- you to know that y- you can r- refuse my hugs when- whenever y- you need. It’s not y- your fault. You just n- need to talk to me.”

Changbin nods, his chin resting on top of Felix’s head as he swallows the lump rising in his throat.

He gently releases Felix and moves back to his spot on the floor before anyone can catch the tears streaming down his own face.

“I- I’m sorry too,” Hyunjin speaks up, latching onto Felix’s arm.

“I pushed you a- away when I couldn’t just said that I didn’t w- want to cuddle. Y- You aren’t annoying or irritating or- or,” he breaks off, looking into Felix’s eyes. “I didn’t mean what I s- said, Lix. I promise I didn’t. You aren’t clingy.”

Felix sends him the best smile he can muster before turning his body to hug him.

“You already a- apologized, H- Hyunjinnie. I just-”

He breaks away from Hyunjin’s embrace and forces himself to level his breathing before continuing.

“I just h- haven’t been f- feeling great. And I- I really have been w- wanting to um- to hug you and y- you know kiss you,” he shyly looks up at the other members, turning his head both ways to see all of them.

“But it’s- It feels like y- you haven’t really wanted the same- same thing. W- Which is fine! J- Just, I k- keep seeing y- you guys cuddle one another o- or hug and kiss. But it’s never me.”

“What do you mean, hyungie?” Jeongin asks softly from the corner of the couch to Felix’s right.

“You guys um- you never go to m- me first. I’m- I’m always the one initiating s- skinship, which is okay. But- When I s- stopped g- going to you guys so I wouldn’t a- annoy you, I- I barely got h- hugs or any c- cuddling. And I d- doubt it was intentional, I- I- I just- I just f- felt- feel weird now. Like I- I crave physical contact but- I just c- can’t ask. A- And every time y- you do h- hug me, I keep t- thinking that it must’ve been because s- someone else w- wasn’t available or that you’re- you’re just d- doing it for m- my sake and n- not because you actually w- want to.”

“…Felix,” Chan speaks up after a moment of silence passes over them.

“Y- Yeah?” Felix asks as more tears drip down from
his eyes.

“I think you’re touch starved, baby.”

“O- Oh,” Felix blinks. “That’s a thing?”

“Yeah,” Chan laughs though it sounds pained and sad. “Yeah, it’s a thing, love.”

He carefully gets up from the couch and leans down in front of Felix.

“I’m so sorry we let you get like this, love. I’m so sorry we hurt you. But I want you to know that every hug we give you is because we want to. You know me, Lixie. I love hugs!” he smiles brightly, making Felix giggle a bit.

“And I especially love your hugs, yeah? They’re so warm and make me feel so safe and comfortable. And not only are they amazing hugs, but they’re attached to my increíble boyfriend, which is a huge bonus. So please- please don’t even think for a second that I’m not enjoying your cuddles and hugs just as much as you are,” Chan continues.

Felix lets out a sob when Chan finishes, not even sure if they are sad or happy tears anymore.

He lets Chan hold his hand tightly and lean forward to kiss the tears away from his cheeks.

“You aren’t a bother, darling. I know I’m- I’m
not the best with skinship, but your hugs never annoy me. And I know that if I’m not comfortable with physical affection, you’d never force it upon me. You are not a bother,” Minho kneels beside Chan before hauling himself up onto the sofa, practically in Seungmin’s lap, to whisper to Felix.

“I love you.”

Felix can’t breathe as warmth fills him, feeling so overwhelmed with love and affirmation that he can’t do anything except cry even harder.

Then Hyunjin is pulling Felix into his lap and murmuring in his ear as he embraces Felix so tightly that he feels out of breath.

“I’m sorry. Don’t leave me,” Hyunjin says, voice barely above a whisper.

Felix’s eyes widen and he quickly hugs Hyunjin back just as tightly.

“No, Jinnie,” he shakes his head as his arms encircle Hyunjin’s neck. “Never.”

Then Minho is pressing into his side and Chan is settling in on the other and there’s another voice calling out to him.

“You’re okay, beautiful. You deserve to be hugged. You deserve so much,” Seungmin speaks genuinely, pressing a kiss to Felix’s forehead from where he now stands behind the couch.

“I love you, hyung!” Jeongin calls out.

Felix can’t see him from where the life is being squeezed out of him in a MinChan sandwich, but he laughs brightly at the words.

“Hey, let me get in there,” Jisung pouts, trying to worm his way in between Chan and Minho.

The older two grumble a bit but pull back enough for Jisung to clamber onto the couch and hug Felix.

“I’m so sorry, sunshine. I’ll give you all the hugs you want. You know I love your hugs, baby. Love them so much!” he says, wiping the stray tears running down Felix’s face.

Felix makes a small sound of content, leaning forward into the touch.

Jisung laughs affectionately, stroking Felix’s cheek.

“Felix?” he whispers gently.

Felix tries to open his mouth in response but no words come out.

Jisung chuckles fondly again.

“That’s okay, sunshine. Rest now. You don’t need to talk,” he strokes Felix’s cheeks again.

Felix nods, the stress from before making it harder to respond verbally, but Jisung understands. They all do.

“Goodnight,” Felix hears someone whisper a while later.

It’s technically still late afternoon but Felix simply makes a sound of agreement, his eyes already fluttering closed as he drifts off to sleep feeling warm and loved and not nearly as alone as he had a few hours ago.

Chapter Text

Felix blinks his eyes open and sits up a bit on the couch before another wave of drowsiness has his head veering off to the side into someone’s chest.

Felix turns fully and snuggles up into Hyunjin, decidedly keeping his eyes closed as he slowly returns to consciousness. This is why he loves cuddling. His boyfriends are beyond comfortable and getting to snuggle up to someone he loves and cares about is beyond comforting.

The faint sound of a TV show plays distantly in the background and Felix can feel another warm body drape over his back as he slowly wakes up.

Felix breathes in deeply before stopping abruptly to yawn.

He hears Hyunjin chuckle and playfully swats at his shoulder as he carefully stretches his arms out above his head.

“Morning!” the older boy chirps teasingly.

Felix’s eyes go wide with horror before Hyunjin is letting out a small giggle.

Felix glares back, leaning away from him and into the body draped across his other side.

“Don’t trick him. It’s only late afternoon, baby,” Seungmin informs him gently, patting Felix’s head as the boy leans back against him.

Hyunjin giggles quietly.

“He- He should have to…,” Felix cuts himself off with another yawn before continuing to sleepily mumble to Seungmin. “H- Have to kiss me to make- make up for it.”

Seungmin huffs out a laugh but nods in agreement and looks over to Hyunjin expectantly. It’s a reasonable punishment. (Plus, Seungmin wants a kiss too.)

Hyunjin smiles, his cheeks blushing a bit before he leans forward to peck Felix’s lips.

The other boy hums in appreciation before tilting his head back for Seungmin to press a kiss to his lips as well.

Seungmin rolls his eyes but gives in when Felix starts sleepily scolding him under his breath.

“Yah, so rude. So rude. My baby- My baby is so rude to me. Seungminnie, how can you be so- so rude when I’ve just woken- woken up and I-”

“Okay, okay!” Seungmin butts in before he can continue.

Felix grins triumphantly.

Seungmin awkwardly hunches forward and gives him a kiss, their lips slotting together weirdly though not unpleasantly.

“Oh! We were like Spider-man!” Felix gasps when he pulls away from the upside-down kiss, dissolving into giggles afterward.

Hyunjin laughs along while Seungmin pecks Felix’s forehead with a fond shake of his head.

“HEY! WHERE’S MY KISS?” Jeongin shouts from Seungmin’s other side, dragging his eyes away from the television screen to pout over at the other three on the couch.

“Get your ass over here if you want a kiss,” Felix sasses back.

Jeongin gives him the stink eye but nonetheless hops up from the couch to camber over to Felix. He squishes in next to Seungmin and turns to his other boyfriend.

Before he can even lean forward, Seungmin is reaching out and redirecting his chin towards himself instead. Jeongin chuckles, turning around and giving him a soft kiss that lasts way too long in Felix’s opinion.

“Innie!” Felix whines unhappily, swatting at the boy until he pulls back from Seungmin with a giggle.

“What, Lix?” Jeongin mocks back.

Teasing his hyungs is Jeongin’s favorite activity.

Felix shoots him a look before grabbing Jeongin’s right leg near his knee and yanking him towards himself. The maknae lets out a yelp as Felix scootches him over on top of him, the older’s hands settling on his hips when he finally manages to heave Jeongin into his lap.

Felix smiles broadly before reaching up to connect their lips.

Jeongin pushes against him before pulling back after a few seconds to breathe.

Felix exhales and looking around the room, finally notices the lack of his other four boyfriends.

“Channie-hyung, Sungie-hyung, and Binnie-hyung went to the studio,” Jeongin explains, picking up on the slight frown on Felix’s face as he notices the lack of their presence in the room.

“Where’s Minho-hyungie?” Felix asks, fiddling with the bottom of Jeongin’s hoodie as he shifts slightly under the younger’s weight to get more comfortable.

“Minho-ah said he was going to nap for the rest of the day since we’re done with schedules,” Seungmin replies, glancing worriedly over toward the hallway.

He’s worried about all of his boyfriends, to be honest.

Changbin has been acting strange if that wasn’t evident from the way he snapped at Chan today and pushed Felix away in the practice room. And Chan himself doesn’t seem to be doing great. He’s always in the studio and Seungmin rarely sees him getting any sleep with how busy they’ve been lately.

The whole situation this morning at practice has made everyone on edge too.

Jisung had anxiously paced around the kitchen for the entirety of the time Chan was in the bathroom until the leader had finally come out to announce that they were going to leave. 3RACHA needed to work out a few things with a few songs so they had (begrudgingly) left soon after Felix had fallen asleep.

After the three had gone, things weren’t any better.

Jeongin was zoned out for about ten minutes before finally shaking himself out of it and turning on a random show to distract himself as Felix slept.

And Hyunjin and Minho had been near-silent the whole time.

Hyunjin was playing with the bracelets on his wrist as Felix dozed off on his shoulder and wouldn’t look up at Seungmin when he asked him in a whisper if he was alright. And Minho had left a few minutes after Jeongin turned on the TV show, mumbling under his breath that he was going to take a nap.

Felix catches the troubled look on Seungmin’s face and furrows his eyebrows.

“Is hyung okay?” he checks.

Seungmin locks eyes with him but doesn’t respond.

His gaze and the expression on his face are enough for Felix to understand what he means.

Felix swallows harshly, nodding.
____________________________________________________________________________

Minho jolts out of his slumber with a start, curling in on himself as tears threaten to slip down his face. His heart is beating fast and his hands shake as he brings his knees in to his chest.

It’s just another stupid nightmare. He’s overreacting.

Minho lets out a whimper when his eyes finally take in just how dark it is in the room. Seungmin must have closed the blinds the other day so the late afternoon sun is no longer streaming through the window.

Minho quickly scampers out of bed and stumbles down the hall into Felix’s room, hearing a few voices from the living room laughing at whatever’s playing on television.

His eyes dart around the bedroom but there’s no sign of Felix or any other members in sight.

“Lixie!” Minho cries out softly as he rushes out to the living room where he had heard laughter a minute ago.

He arrives at the end of the hallway but stops short before he steps into the living room, freezing as he watches Seungmin, Hyunjin, and Felix all talking together on the couch while Jeongin tries to shush them, complaining about how he wants to watch this episode in peace.

Minho hesitantly shuffles forward before pausing again.

Luckily, the movement catches Seungmin’s eye and he quickly turns to look over, his eyes widening when he sees Minho cowering near the hallway with teary eyes.

“Minho? Why aren’t you in bed-,” Seungmin tries to ask before cutting himself off when he sees Minho start to cry harder.

By then, the other three are also looking over in concern. Felix gasps when he sees the tears start to stream down Minho’s face and Jeongin is getting
ready to walk over when Minho starts staggering over to them.

The boy waddles over with his head downturned and plops himself down onto Felix’s lap.

“L- Lixie!” he sobs out, wrapping his arms around Felix’s shoulders tightly and burying his face in his shoulder so none of them can see his tear-stained cheeks.

“It’s okay, Min. You’re okay. I’m here, baby. I’m here,” Felix instantly comforts, enveloping his shaking boyfriend in a warm embrace.

“What’s going on?” Hyunjin stammers, wanting to help and comfort Minho but not knowing what had happened that made him this upset.

The other two look over with the same confusion in their eyes. Seungmin carefully brings a hand up to rub up and down Minho’s back.

“I think I know…” Felix trails off.

This had happened before. Felix would go to sleep in his own bed and wake up with Minho tucked into his side, sound asleep next to him.

And sure, maybe his boyfriend just occasionally wanted cuddles randomly at two in the morning. But Felix has a sneaking suspicion that it’s more than that.

“Baby,” he nudges the boy on his lap.

Minho looks up at him with dilated pupils, a few tears still slipping out of the corner of his eyes and running down his puffy cheeks.

“Did our kitten have a nightmare?” Felix continues and Seungmin’s eyes widen in realization, remembering when Minho had first opened up about his age regression and mentioned only involuntary regressing after a nightmare or being triggered by something.

Minho whimpers, nodding furiously.

“M- MinMin h- had b- ba’ dweam,” he blubbers out.

“Aw, it’s okay, kitten,” Felix gently strokes his cheek, wiping away the few tears that remain.

Minho whimpers in reply before noticing the other three on the couch watching the two of them. The little’s cheeks grow red from all the attention and he lets out a soft whine.

Hyunjin chuckles at his adorableness and reaches over to tap Minho’s nose, making his face scrunch up adorably.

“Are you okay now, kitten?” Seungmin asks softly as he moves his hand up to stroke Minho’s hair.

The little leans into the touch while nuzzling into Felix’s shoulder, relaxing in his embrace.

Seungmin internally coos at the sight, Minho’s wide eyes looking up at him from where he’s curled up on Felix’s lap.

“We’ll protect you, angel! We love you so much!” Jeongin adds, looking over Seungmin and giggling when Minho gives him an excited wave.

“Hi, baby!” the maknae coos.

Minho lets out a giggle before holding his arms out toward Seungmin and Jeongin.

“What do you want, kitty?” Felix asks warmly.

Minho whines through pursed lips before turning and making grabby hands at Hyunjin instead, his pout only intensifying when the boy doesn’t immediately comply.

“Do you want cuddles, sweetheart?” Hyunjin asks curiously.

This is still very new to him. And seeing Minho willingly asking for affection and skinship is certainly not an everyday occurrence.

“P- Pwease,” Minho whimpers.

Hyunjin brightens up, moving closer and wrapping an arm around Minho’s waist before gesturing for the other two to join them.

“Wait! Let me go get Hae,” Jeongin exclaims, assuming Minho had forgotten to get his stuffie in his haste to find Felix after his nightmare.

The little sits up in alarm when the maknae runs off to his room, his lower lip starting to tremble.

“I- Innie?” Minho says sadly.

“It’s okay, Min. He’ll be back soon,” Seungmin reassures as he presses in closer, resting his head on Felix’s shoulder.

Soon enough, Jeongin returns with a grin on his face and the small kitten stuffed animal held in his hands.

“Inn-ie,” stutters Minho, looking at his boyfriend and wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

“'M sorry for leaving, kitten,” Jeongin apologizes sympathetically, kneeling in front of Minho as the little shuffles on Felix’s lap to turn toward him.

Minho whines and makes grabby hands at Jeongin so the youngest quickly gives him a comforting hug.

“I was getting Hae for you, angel,” Jeongin holds the stuffed animal up for Minho to see.

Minho looks up at the plushie, opening his mouth a few times before finally whining when he isn’t able to push out the words. He bounces slightly in Felix’s lap, looking up at Jeongin for permission to take Hae.

The other laughs and tickles the underside of Minho’s chin, muttering a quick, “It’s okay, Min.”

The little immediately snatches the stuffie from Jeongin’s grasp and cuddles the little kitten close to his chest, gnawing on one of its ears.

Jeongin blinks in surprise but feels a warm smile overtake his features. Minho did say he was on the younger side of the spectrum. And being scared because of his nightmare must’ve caused him to regress to an even younger headspace than he was the last time they had seen him in littlespace.

Jeongin can’t lie. It’s fucking adorable.

He quickly gets up and goes over to Seungmin’s other side, gently reaching out for his boyfriend’s hand and shyly intertwining their fingers.

Seungmin jolts in shock, looking over at the maknae before smiling gently and giving his hand a soft squeeze.

Jeongin grins back and lets out a sigh of contentment as they all relax back on the sofa together.
____________________________________________________________________________

“WE’RE HOME!”

Minho jolts at the loud noise, turning his head toward Felix in alarm.

“Shh, you’re okay. It’s just our Jisungie being loud as usual,” Felix soothes, rubbing up and down the little’s back after the small scare.

Minho perks up at the mention of his other boyfriend, twisting in Felix’s embrace to look over the back of the sofa.

The little lets out a squeal when he sees Chan, Jisung, and Changbin taking off their shoes by the entryway. He’s happy to see the three of them after they left for so long.

The squeal wakes up Seungmin next to him.

The boy had fallen asleep while they were cuddling on the couch. Minho had also taken a short nap, which wasn’t a surprise since the second-oldest could literally sleep outside in a bush and still be out within minutes.

“Hey,” Seungmin greets the three coming in as he lets out a yawn.

“Hi, hyungs!“ Jeongin chimes in, reaching over to pat Minho’s shoulder. “Go say hi, baby.”

Minho nods energetically, rushing up from the couch once he's gotten permission and practically throwing himself at Jisung.

The younger boy lets out a yelp, catching Minho the best he can and crying out in pain when the little bites down on his shoulder.

He stumbles backward and luckily Changbin is right behind him, the older boy hurriedly scrambling to stabilize them. He holds on tightly to Jisung’s waist, making sure the boy stays on his feet, sensing Jisung was seconds away from falling flat on his ass with Minho still wrapped around him like a koala.

“H- Hey, baby. You’re in a biting kinda mood today, huh?” Jisung comments, wincing slightly as the little starts teething on the material of his shirt.

Little giggles pour from Minho’s mouth, making Jisung smile and forget about the growing dampness on his right shoulder.

“Thanks,” Jisung whispers to Changbin, looking back to press a careful kiss to his jaw.

Changbin swallows but gives Jisung’s nervous eyes a half-smile.

Jisung smiles gently back before turning to adjust Minho in his arms so he’s no longer precariously holding onto the little.

“How’s our kitten doing? Did he regress right after we left?” Chan questions, moving forward after closing the front door to sling an arm over both Jisung and Minho for a short hug.

“Yeah. Hyung had a nightmare and came out to find us a little bit ago,” Jeongin calls from the couch.

“Aw,” Chan coos sympathetically while Jisung fixes his hold on Minho’s waist to stroke his hair softly.

“What have you guys been up to?” Chan asks, redirecting his attention over to the sofa.

Felix turns on the couch and shoots him a sly grin.

“You missed out on some damn good cuddles, hyungie.”

Chan glowers back at him, racing over to the couch to poke Felix’s sides.

The younger boy lets out a screech, trying to evade Chan’s tickling.

“H- Hyunjinnie! Hyunjinnie! H- Help. Help, please. M- Make him s- sto-,” Felix cuts himself off with another shriek as laughter spills uncontrollably from his lips.

Chan laughs at his reaction and only starts tickling him even more.

“FELIX-HYUNG, I’LL SAVE YOU!” Jeongin cries before launching himself at Chan’s back.

The oldest cries out in surprise before letting out a yell when Jeongin starts tickling his sides.

Meanwhile, the loud laughter has attracted Minho’s attention. The little makes grabby hands over to the couch, looking at Jisung with pleading eyes.

“Okay, okay, we’re going, baby,” Jisung reassures with a small groan.

His arms feel dead.

“You got him or do you need me to carry him?” Changbin questions, still holding Jisung’s waist securely from behind.

“I’m all good. Thanks, hyung,” Jisung replies, shooting a smile over his shoulder.

He starts walking over to the couch where Seungmin and Hyunjin have now both joined the tickle fight.

He can’t even tell who’s on who’s team but as of now, Seungmin is getting tickled by Chan, Felix and Jeongin have teamed up against the leader, and Hyunjin is tickling Felix or anyone else he can get his hands on.

It’s a wonder how they haven’t already fallen off the sofa.

Jisung lightly bounces Minho as he walks.

The strain in his arms is worth it when he sees the little quietly suckling on his t-shirt while tucking his head into Jisung’s neck.

He deposits Minho onto the couch, where he is immediately pulled back into Hyunjin’s embrace, the boy giving up attacking Felix in favor of more cuddles.

This makes the little preen in happiness as he snuggles up into Hyunjin.

Jisung smiles fondly, watching Chan stop tickling Seungmin, make his way over, and plop down onto the couch to hug the both of them close.

His boyfriends are really something special.

Jisung glances up and spies Changbin still standing at the entrance of the dorms, only now a little closer to where the living room turns into the hallway that leads back to their three bedrooms.

“Hyung,” he mouths, gesturing his boyfriend over to join them on the couch.

Tears gather in Changbin’s eyes as he shakes his head.

The older points toward the hallway and Jisung swallows but nods understandingly.

He gives his boyfriend a pained smile, sending him a small finger heart.

Changbin returns the gesture before trudging back to his room.

“Jisung?” Seungmin calls, snapping his attention back to the rest of his boyfriends all cuddled up on the couch together.

Chan holds his arms out for Jisung to join them.

The other boy slowly shakes his head.

“Uh- Actually, I need to go grab something. I’ll be right back!” he calls, already dashing toward the hallway.

He makes it just as Changbin is pushing open his shared room with Felix and Chan.

“Hyung!”

Changbin swivels around with wide eyes before letting out a sigh.

“Hey, Sungie. What’s up?”

Jisung frowns at his nonchalant tone.

“Are you okay, Changbinnie?” he asks, walking up to the boy and taking both of his hands into his own.

Changbin holds his hands back, nodding his head as he looks into his eyes.

“My head…hurts.”

“I’m sorry,” Jisung whispers, letting go of Changbin’s hands to reach up and press against his temples.

Changbin’s eyes fall closed and he lets out a shaky exhale. The pressure helps a bit but it does nothing to help the mess of thoughts and feelings bottled up inside him.

Changbin takes a step back.

“I’m going to go lay down,” he forces a smile.

Jisung nods.

“Okay,” he says gently, leaning down a bit to kiss the older boy’s forehead. “I hope you feel better, baby.”

“Thanks, Sung,” Changbin sighs, a small smile on his face.

It’s genuine this time.

Chapter Text

“What do I do? What do I do?“ Chan repeats in a panic. “He’s so cute but he’s slobbering all over my shirt!”

Felix giggles a bit, watching fondly as Minho sleepily sucks on Chan’s sweatshirt, looking happy and content as the leader flails about.

“At least he’s not…” Felix trails off as Minho quickly loses interest in Chan’s sweatshirt and locks eyes with his left ear.

“Ah! No biting, kitten, yeah?” Chan catches him, chuckling nervously.

Minho nods, feeling bad. He looks down at his lap and bites his lip harshly, tears springing into his eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay, baby,” the leader reassures, feeling guilty for having said anything at all.

The little shakes his head, barely able to understand his hyung other than the “No” he had said when pushing Minho back.

“S- S’rry, h- h- hyung-,” he hiccups, his words so slurred and quiet that the others can barely understand at first.

Minho starts to cry harder, thinking his hyung is mad at him as well as his other boyfriends.

He tries to apologize once again but all that comes out are small sobs and distressed whines.

“It’s okay, MinMin. You’re fine, kitty. Channie’s not mad,” Felix tries to reassure.

“Yeah, kitten, no one’s mad at you. Hyung’s got you. You’re okay,” the leader adds, cuddling the little closer in his lap and giving him a warm hug.

The little continues wailing, trying to keep quiet as he hides himself in Chan’s sweatshirt, his sobs muffled into the leader’s shoulder.

Suddenly, Jisung comes rushing back into the room, nearly skidding into the coffee table as he runs over to the other six on the couch.

“Hey- Hey, little one,” he coos, pressing in close to Chan to meet Minho’s eyes as the little tries to hide away. “I have something for you, kitten! Do you wanna see what I got you?”

Minho sniffles pathetically but turns his head to Jisung, intrigued about what it could be.

“Look, baby!” Jisung smiles, holding up a pacifier in his hands.

Minho gasps in awe, admiring the two cartoon cats on the front. The taller, grey cat is hugging the smaller, white kitty. The rest of the soother is a soft, mint green.

“D- Do you like it, Min?” Jisung asks nervously when the boy continues staring but doesn’t say a word.

Minho opens his mouth but can’t find the words to express how much he appreciates the gift.

A series of squeaks and whines leave his lips as he desperately tries to get Jisung to understand that he loves his present. No one has ever gotten the little any presents before. And the pacifier is beyond adorable and in Minho’s favorite color!

“It’s okay, MinMin. I understand, hm? I’m glad you like your gift,” Jisung chuckles, feeling relieved as he slips the pacifier between Minho’s lips.

Minho closes his eyes in contentment, the soother bobbing in between his lips as he happily sucks on it.

He lets out a small hum before throwing himself into Jisung’s arms and gurgling happily around his new paci.

“Hey, baby,” Jisung giggles when he gets an armful of little Minho.

“Aren’t you cute, kitten,” Chan coos, stroking the little’s hair.

Minho blushes, small babbles coming out of his mouth as he tucks himself against Jisung’s chest.

“He’s so precious,” Felix whispers, trying not to squeal at how adorable their boyfriend is.

All of his boyfriends are cute. Felix feels like the luckiest man alive.

“The baby’s adorable,” Jisung agrees, rubbing Minho’s back gently.

The little yawns, stretching out his arms into two small fists before sleepily closing his eyes.

“Wasn’t he just asleep?” Seungmin giggles.

“Shh, Minnie. Let the boy rest,” Hyunjin shushes teasingly.

Jisung shifts over on the couch to find a comfortable position, the other’s eyes watching him and the boy on his lap lovingly.

Jeongin nudges Chan from his spot next to the leader, pecking him softly on the cheek when he looks his way.

“Hyungie, you should sleep too.”

“Oh- I’m- I’m okay, Innie, thank you,” he replies, smiling brightly, his cheeks a little red from the somewhat surprising but not at all unwelcome affection.

Jeongin stretches out on the couch while giving him a side-eye. He doesn’t believe Chan for a second.

“Listen to IN-ah,” Hyunjin whisper-shouts from beside them, exaggeratedly cupping his hands over his mouth, having overheard the words the maknae uttered to Chan. “You need rest, Channie.”

The older chuckles fondly at the two of them, shaking his head.

“Thanks, Hyunie, but I’m not tired right now. We got a lot of work done at the studio today so I can rest tonight.”

The oldest smiles convincingly though he feels a tinge of guilt. He’s not going to rest tonight. Nor is he going to rest anytime soon.

Chan hasn’t been able to sleep for the past week. He doubts tonight’s going to be any different.
____________________________________________________________________________

When Minho wakes up, there’s a movie playing at a low volume on the television screen. He wiggles around a bit and lets out a sigh of contentment when he realizes he’s still snuggled between two of his boyfriends.

Then Minho blinks and dread coils in his stomach.

He turns completely red, sitting up fully and alerting the others that he’s woken up.

“Hey, Min-,” Hyunjin speaks up before halting as he watches his boyfriend angrily spit out the pacifier and shoot up from the couch.

He watches in utter confusion as Minho quickly stalks back to his room without so much as a word to any of them.

“I’ll go um-,” Felix gestures vaguely with his hands before standing up to follow.

The rest of the members watch in worry as Felix hurries after the second-oldest.

“Hyung!” Felix calls, catching up with the other boy in the hallway.

He hurries over toward him.

“What’s wrong, ba- Minho-hyung?” he winces, figuring Minho might not appreciate being called a pet name right now.

Minho spins around, his eyes brimming with fury as he locks them with Felix.

“I couldn’t even talk. I couldn’t even handle a stupid fucking nightmare by myself, Felix!” he exploded.

The younger boy is taken aback, shocked into silence at his sudden outburst.

“I know how to take care of myself- I’ve been taking care of myself…but I couldn’t even handle one nightmare without coming crying to you guys for comfort,” he continues bitterly.

“Hyung-,” Felix starts.

“No, Lix. I couldn’t even fucking take care of myself. Why the hell couldn’t I just take care of myself for once?” he seethes, stalking closer to Felix in the hallway.

The other boy swallows, his eyes locked on Minho’s as he takes a small step back.

“…You were really small today, hyungie.”

They hold eye contact for a while before Felix brings a hand up to feel his pulse, gathering himself before he continues.

“Hyung, you’re not a bother. Last time you were saying that you-”

“Aren't I though?” Minho cuts him off.

“What do you mean?” Felix asks in confusion, baffled by the thought that Minho could think he’s even the slightest inconvenience to them.

They love Minho and that means all sides of him, even the ones the second-oldest can’t stand himself. Anybody who would ever think someone is a bother because they age regress to cope with stress is fucking stupid.

“Aren’t I a bother? You guys are always having to take care of me and treat me like I’m some vulnerable little kid. It’s sick, Felix. I’m fucking disgusting,” Minho replies.

“It’s a coping mechanism, Minho-hyung,” Felix’s voice is pinched with frustration at how Minho doesn’t seem to get that he’s not something less because of his littlespace. “It’s something you use for comfort and to deal with- to deal with shit, okay? And I think it’s fucking amazing that you have a place where you can feel safe again-”

“You’re kidding me, right? You’re proud of me- ‘Oh, Minho’s so amazing for acting like a fucking toddler to cope with his emotions.’ I’m pathetic, Felix. And I feel so damn horrible for forcing you guys into taking care of me. You don’t deserve my shit.”

“NO ONE IS BEING FORCED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU!” Felix yells in exasperation before breathing in deeply, shutting his eyes as he tries to calm down.

He continues in a softer voice, feeling tears start to prickle at the corner of his eyes as he looks back at Minho.

“Was I a bother earlier today? …When I felt- When I was touch starved and needed physical contact; just- just to hug someone or let myself be held?”

Minho breaks eye contact with him as Felix pauses, his hands shaking slightly as he clasps them behind his back.

“You told me I wasn’t, hyung. You fucking told me I wasn’t a bother to you- and you held me and cuddled with me for over half an hour even though you usually hate it. I am not a bother to you guys when I need affection or to be reminded that I’m loved. So why the hell are you a bother?” he finishes, managing just barely to keep his tears at bay.

Minho sniffs quietly, staring down at the floor as he takes a deep breath.

“This is a lot fucking different Youngbokkie,” his voice wavers, trembling just like his hands as he uses them to wipe under his left eye before looking up.

He sets his jaw, gritting his teeth as his eyes meet Felix’s.

“I shouldn’t even be regressing in the first place! I fucking- I told you that, Felix. I’m- I’m the second-oldest. I’m twenty-three for God's sake!”

“Age doesn’t fucking matter and you know that!” Felix shouts back. “Just because you’re the second oldest doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be taken care of too.”

“FUCK YOU!” Minho yells back as loudly as he can, his ears ringing as he stares back at Felix.

His eyes are flooded with tears but he refuses to let any of them fall.

“I SHOULD BE OVER IT, FELIX,” he screams, his voice shaking as he tries to keep it together.

His hands are shaking so hard and his chest almost hurts with how much rage, pain, and guilt he can feel curling in his chest.

“I SHOULD BE OVER WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AS A KID. IT WAS SO FUCKING LONG AGO SO WHY AM I STILL NOT OVER IT?! WHY CAN'T I JUST FORGET, FELIX? WHY? I-“ he falters, breathless from all the yelling.

Felix looks broken as he stares back at Minho, his face crumbling as he hears the other’s words.

Everyone in the dorms can likely hear their conversation now but Felix can only focus on the feeling of his heart breaking at what Minho is saying.

“I- I just feel so guilty, Lix, and I don’t know why,” Minho’s voice dwindles down to a heartbroken whisper.

“Did we do anything to make you feel that way?” Felix asks softly, his voice barely above a soft whisper as if afraid the boy in front of him will break if he’s any louder.

Minho shakes his head, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

“You’re not a bother, Minho. I can promise you that a million times and I doubt you’ll believe me but it’s true. It’s true, hyung. Regressing is helpful for you and you- you haven’t done anything wrong-. You aren’t doing anything wrong. You aren’t a bother for doing something that keeps you happy and relaxed. And fuck, hyung- you can’t just ‘get over’ the shitty things that happen in life. It isn’t something you can just get rid of. And no one expects you to. It doesn’t matter if it happened years ago or months or days ago. It hurt you, hyungie. It hurt you and you’re allowed to still feel hurt. You’re allowed to still be hurt,” Felix’s voice breaks.

Minho doesn’t say anything for a moment before speaking up in a voice so soft that Felix barely catches his words.

“I don’t want it to hurt anymore.”

“I know, hyung, I know,” Felix states firmly. “It’s okay to be hurt.”

He says it with his whole heart because Minho doesn’t want a hug or pity or to be told that they are there for him. He already knows that. What he needs is to be validated.

Minho needs to be told that he’s allowed to be hurt and it’s okay that he is. Because trauma doesn't just go away and Felix knows that.

He may not know what Minho has gone through but whatever it is, it hurt him. And it’s okay that he needs support from them. It’s okay to let himself be taken care of just like how he takes care of the rest of them. Minho needs to know that it’s okay.

“I’m sorry for yelling, Lixie,” Minho finally speaks up, his tone quiet as a hesitant lop-sided half-smile stretches across his face.

Felix knows what he means.

He can see the gratitude and thankfulness Minho holds in his eyes. Felix can see the vulnerability in them as well as how much warmth and appreciation Minho has as he looks at Felix.

“Love you too,” Felix half-jokes back, sniffling as he wipes at his teary eyes.

“Aigo, Lixie. What am I supposed to do with you? All grown up and giving your hyung advice,” Minho quietly laughs, blinking his eyes quickly to rid them of tears.

“Well, hyung’s stupid sometimes. He should listen to me more often.”

Minho scoffs, rolling his eyes in direct contrast to when he looks back at Felix with nothing but fondness.

“Hm,” Minho hums. “Maybe he should.”
____________________________________________________________________________

When the two come back to the living room, the rest of the members are in the kitchen, likely having the leftover fried rice Minho and Jisung had made the other day and the takeout Hyunjin had ordered yesterday.

The only one left lounging on the couch is a certain Kim Seungmin who looks up at them as they enter the room, cocking his head to the side.

“What?” Minho deadpans, knowing damn well all the members overheard their conversation from the hallway.

He winces internally at the thought.

Seungmin rolls his eyes, setting his phone on the coffee table next to two mugs and the remote for the TV.

He gets to his feet, taking a step forward until he’s standing right before Minho. Then he pulls his boyfriend’s chin closer to himself.

The older boy looks cutely startled for a second before Seungmin is pressing his lips against the other’s.

Minho mewls quietly in surprise, which only makes Seungmin press his lips harder against him, the kiss almost bruising as his fingers curl into the older’s hair.

Seungmin finally pulls back and allows Minho to subtly gasp for breath as he rubs a finger over the shell of his boyfriend’s now bright red ear.

“Sit down, hyung. I made you tea,” he says, looking at Minho expectantly as he settles back down onto the couch and picks up his phone again.

Minho quietly obeys, leaning forward to grab one of the mugs on the coffee table and taking a sip.

He closes his eyes in satisfaction as the liquid hits the back of his throat.

“Thanks,” Minho mumbles as he greedily sips the drink.

Seungmin grunts in acknowledgement, scrolling through his phone a bit more before scooting forward to grab the other cup set on the table in front of them.

He picks it up and raises it up for Felix, who happily takes the tea.

“Thank you, Seungminnie-ah,” he murmurs gratefully.

Seungmin grins up at him, leaping up from the couch to kiss Felix too.

Felix lets out a little giggle before humming contentedly into the kiss.

He pulls back to peck Seungmin’s blushing cheek before settling in on the other side of Minho, resting his head on the older boy’s shoulder.

Seungmin smiles at the sight, turning back to his phone before anyone can catch it.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Hyung,” Jisung rushes out, having scampered over a second ago after spotting Minho and Felix sitting beside Seungmin on the couch.

“Hannie?” Minho replies, prompting the boy to say what’s on his mind.

Jisung gulps harshly and avoids eye contact.

Minho watches in confusion at the nervous boy before him.

“Hannie, what’s wrong? Jisungie? Jisung-ah? Hello?” he calls out, finally getting Jisung to briefly meet his eyes.

Seungmin and Felix share a worried look before looking back at their boyfriend. Felix is at a loss whereas Seungmin seems to have some idea what Jisung is so anxious over.

“H- Hyung, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t- I wasn’t thinking,” Jisung harshly breathes out, fiddling with the zipper on his jacket as he locks his gaze with the ground.

“Yah!” Minho cries out, getting up from the couch to grasp the boy’s shoulders in front of him.

“Just tell me what’s going on, okay?” he whispers gently as Jisung finally (although hesitantly) meets his eyes.

The younger boy nods, taking a breath before explaining.

“I bought you the pacifier. The um- the mint green one with the k- kittens,” he admits, his voice lilting up as if asking a question. “I- I was searching up age regression so I- you know, would know how to be there for you an’- and be a good caregiver. And it- it just popped up and I thought, ‘Oh, Minho would l- love those so I b- bought them without- without thinking! And I’m so fucking sorry because I s- shouldn’t have bought them impusively. Or I at least should of a- asked before I fucking assumed that you would be okay with me-”

Jisung’s voice cracks and he takes a break to breathe harshly, his hands shaking as he waits for the older boy’s response.

Minho takes a step back, his hands falling from Jisung’s shoulders as he processes his words. ‘Jisung thinks I’m…upset with him?’ Minho thinks, feeling baffled.

‘I mean, yeah, he definitely should have asked first,’ Minho reasons in his mind, looking down at the ground and spying the pacifier he had so carelessly chucked on the floor after waking up.

He feels a tinge of guilt as he stares down at it.

Why would he throw something like that around so carelessly?

“Wait…’them’?” Seungmin pipes up from the couch before Minho can respond.

Minho’s eyes snap back up to Jisung.

“Um, yeah,” he nervously responds, pulling out two more pacifiers from his pocket. “I’m so sorry, hyung. If you don’t like them, I can-”

Minho adverts his eyes immediately.

“N- No, it’s fine, Jisungie. …Thank you,” he says meekly.

Jisung feels awful. Minho can’t even stand to look at them. He doesn't like the gifts at all.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers again, closing his hand around the two pacifiers and turning to walk away.

Minho’s eyes frantically flit over to Jisung when he sees him move out of the corner of his eye.

He had been trying not to slip but the sight of the cute pacifiers were making his mind go fuzzy and making him feel small again.

“Hyungie,” Minho whines, catching Jisung before he leaves by yanking harshly on his sleeve.

The younger boy spins around with his eyes wide, making Minho blush before whining out softly
again.

“M- Min wike them.”

Jisung swears he’s never smiled as brightly as he is now. His cheeks are nearly in pain as he grins back at Minho in relief.

“Yeah, baby?” he whispers. “I'm glad.”
____________________________________________________________________________

To no one’s surprise, everyone ends up turning in a little early for the night except Jeongin.

He didn’t get to finish his show from before so he’s catching up on a few episodes as he lounges on the couch, waiting for himself to get tired enough to force himself up, trudge back to his room, and actually fall asleep like the rest of his boyfriends.

But until then, he’s snuggled up into some cozy blankets and resting his head on a pillow, laughing quietly at a joke they’re telling on the show.

He sits there on the couch for a while before glancing at the time.

It’s nearing one in the morning.

Jeongin sits up in shock, not having realized that much time had already gone by.

He feels a bit lightheaded as he sits up, his eyebrows furrowing as the world suddenly seems lifeless and foggy.

Something feels off. He’s not sure what it is but it doesn’t feel right.

Jeongin wants to call out to his boyfriends but his mouth isn’t opening. He doesn’t have enough energy.

He slowly uncurls his hands from where they’re clutching the blankets tightly, grounding him to reality.

Then it feels as if he’s no longer there anymore.

Time seems to have stopped moving and everything is slowing down.

Jeongin sits there feeling detached from his body for another hour or so but what feels to him like only a handful of minutes.

Then his alarm is ringing on his phone and suddenly, everything snaps back into place.

He squints his eyes, blinking slowly. He must’ve set the alarm so he didn’t stay up too late watching his show.

As he looks up at the TV, he realizes the show is already off, likely having turned off automatically when he didn’t click play for the next episode.

‘Huh? How long was I sitting here?’ he wonders to himself.

Jeongin clenches his hands in the blanket as he gets lost in thought again.

Then a sudden wave of exhaustion is hitting him.

Fuck, he’s tired.

He can feel the exhaustion settling deep in his bones as he lets himself fall back against the couch.

He lets out a yawn, stretching his arms up as high as he can reach before bringing them back under the warm blanket he’s pulled on top of his body.

Jeongin figures he can just sleep here for tonight.

It’s no big deal. He’ll just sleep in his own bed tomorrow night.

Just as his eyes are closing, Jeongin sees a blur pass beside him on the couch.
____________________________________________________________________________

The front door opens and Changbin is slipping out into the dark, frigid air, the door closing behind him.

He can finally breathe again.

Chapter Text

Felix shoots up straight in bed, the terror and leftover fear from the nightmare dissipating as he lets out an annoyed sigh, rubbing at his eyes tiredly.

Sleep has been fleeting recently. Felix doesn’t know how Chan does it.

He gets out of bed slowly, careful not to wake the other two in the room, knowing Chan has likely just fallen asleep.

Felix walks over to the bedroom door, not even realizing the lack of one of his boyfriends in bed as his eyes threaten to close, exhaustion muddling his senses.

He makes his way down the hallway and spots a figure on the sofa. He squints his eyes, peering through the darkness before realizing it’s the youngest passed out on the sofa.

The sight brings a tired smile to Felix’s face. Jeongin likely stayed up watching his series on Netflix and had fallen asleep.

He walks past the boy softly snoring on the couch and heads to the bathroom.

Felix braces his arms against the sink and takes a deep breath in, turning on the faucet to splash his face with water before shutting it off again.

“Fuck,” he groans out quietly, his heart aching for someone to be with him right now.

It’s times like these in the dead of night when Felix can’t sleep that his mind wanders. His mind wanders away too far and his thoughts get scary and uncontrollable. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep recently or the wretched feeling of being alone but Felix can feel his gut sink as he stares at himself for a moment longer. He needs someone right now.

He’s never felt more alone.

Felix exits the bathroom and makes his way to the living room once more, scratching at his itchy wrists with a grimace.

He looks down at Jeongin and smiles gently, flicking a strand of hair that covers the boy’s forehead and leaning down to leave a peck on his temple.

Felix adjusts his nightshirt, pulling the material until it comfortably hangs a bit over his fingertips before settling in on the couch next to his boyfriend.

He moves around a bit, finding a good spot where he can hug Jeongin without suffocating the poor maknae. He feels a sense of calmness wash over him as he lets himself relax, knowing the younger boy will complain a bit in the morning but not at all mind Felix cuddling up to him.

Jeongin shifts in his sleep, letting out a small snore that makes Felix snort.

He laughs quietly to himself before snuggling into Jeongin’s back and falling back asleep.
____________________________________________________________________________

Jeongin wakes up with his head resting on Felix’s shoulder and his older boyfriend sleeping precariously close to the edge of the couch.

His eyes widen in a panic before he’s crawling halfway on top of Felix to scoot the boy closer to the back of the sofa to prevent him from rolling off and getting a concussion.

“IN-ah,” a voice whispers, making Jeongin jolt in shock and to his horror, hit Felix in the face with
his elbow.

He looks down in mortification at his poor, undeserving boyfriend, and quickly leans down to press a handful of kisses to his face, scattering them around his freckled cheeks as Felix blinks his eyes open.

Meanwhile, Minho has come closer into the living room, having watched the whole thing go down.

He laughs so hard that he can barely breathe, making Jeongin look up to glare over at him.

“Innie? Baby…what?” Felix exhaustedly groans out, his voice even deeper from sleep.

Jeongin looks back with red cheeks, pecking Felix’s cheek again in apology.

“I’m so sorry, hyungie. I- Minho-hyung scared me,” he whines out, causing the older boy to immediately cry out in protest that it wasn’t his fault and entirely Jeongin’s doing. “…He made me hit you by accident!”

Felix closes his eyes once more, the morning light peeking in through the living room windows too much to handle for his tired eyes.

He lets out a small sigh, internally cooing at his boyfriend’s small pout as he explains that it was entirely Minho’s fault and that their older boyfriend was completely to blame.

“Mm, it’s okay, IN-ah,” Felix slurs out.

“I forgive you, cutie. It was- was pro’lly Minho’s fault anyw-,” he interrupts himself with a yawn.

Jeongin smiles down at him warmly, watching as sleep pulls Felix back under as another second goes by and oblivious to the way Minho watches them both fondly as Felix’s eyelids flutter closed once more.

“Okay,” he whispers quietly. “Sleep well, Lixie.”

Jeongin carefully crawls over the top of him, being sure to keep his elbows tight to his body so no more mishaps occur.

Minho stifles his laughter, walking over to help Jeongin by offering him a hand.

“Thanks.”

The older boy nods, grinning back at Jeongin.

“Are you ready for our date?”
____________________________________________________________________________

The cool morning breeze blows straight through the thin crewneck sweater Jeongin has on, chilling him
right to the bone as they walk to the cafe.

Minho notices immediately and pulls him in to his side.

“Really? You could’ve at least worn something warm,” he scolds lightly.

“I am!” Jeongin protests, contrastly huddling into his side as they continue walking down the street.

Minho rolls his eyes.

The older boy had suggested they go on a date a few weeks ago after talking about the new cafe that had opened a few blocks away from their building.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Should we go together?” Minho asks, extending a hand out for Jeongin on the couch as he raises an eyebrow.

The maknae gives him a look, hesitantly taking his hand but not saying a word as he watches the smirk grow on the older’s lips.

“I’m asking you out, IN-ah,” Minho helpfully points out.

“I’ll think about it,” Jeongin responds, boisterous laughter following as he looks at Minho’s scandalized features.

“Fine. Don’t come with me. I’ll force Hannie to go with me instead,” Minho huffs moodily, knowing the boy had also wanted to go check out the new cafe when it opened.

“No, no, I’ll go, hyung,” Jeongin insists, slapping Minho lightly on the knee.

“Okay,” Minho replies brightly, leaning over to peck Jeongin’s cheek as his lips turn upward in a small smile.

“Are you ditching Hannie for me now?” Jeongin jokes with a wide smile on his face, taking Minho’s hand in his own.

The older looked down at their intertwined hands on the couch and feels happiness bubble up in his throat before purposefully making his hand shake in Jeongin’s grasp.

“Why is your hand shaking?” the younger boy asks.

Minho makes his hand tremble almost violently in response, whimpering out a small, “H- Hannie?”

Jeongin bursts into laughter at his antics, letting go of his hand to push the older boy away from him.

Minho lets out a giggle, moving closer to Jeongin as the two slowly dissolve into harmless bickering and laughter.
____________________________________________________________________________

“God, why is it so cold out here?” Jeongin shivers yet again, bundling up even more closely to Minho, who rolls his eyes (again).

“I told you.“

“Yah!” the younger growls out, pouting back at Minho.

“Seungminnie’s going to be so mad when he realizes you went out in the cold in only this,” Minho pinches the fabric of his oversized sweatshirt. “I can’t wait for you to get sick.”

Jeongin scoffs, knowing fully well that if either one of them were to get sick, it will most likely be Minho. His boyfriend always manages to somehow get sick before proceeding to pass his illness onto the rest of the members. He’s very generous like that.

“We’re here!” Minho announces, bringing Jeongin’s mind back to the present.

It’s a cute cafe. It’s super small and the inside looks warm and cozy.

There are plants everywhere inside and hanging lights that shine down warmly inside the cafe.

Jeongin doesn’t doubt that this cafe will soon be pretty popular. Maybe he should go back again with one of his other boyfriends or maybe a couple of his friends.

He looks over at Minho and sees the older’s dazzling eyes as he stares at the sign of the cafe, the maknae’s own smile growing as he silently observes the older boy.

They head into the cafe and settle down in one of the booths before Minho is pulling Jeongin into a kiss.

The younger gasps in surprise, pushing the older away from him.

“Hyung! We can’t just- We’re in public!” he yelps, looking aghast as he whips his head around to view the nearly empty cafe.

“It’s too early. No one’s even here, IN-ah. Plus, my lips are cold,” Minho whines back through puckered lips.

Jeongin rolls his eyes so hard he feels like they’re going to get stuck there at the top of his head like his mother always warned him about as a child.

“One more kiss and that’s it,” he hisses through clenched teeth.

Minho grins and steals another kiss from him almost instantly.

They have fun eating together, Jeongin teasing the older every chance he gets, and Minho responding back with just as much fervor. They compliment each other in hushed whispers, their ears both flushed red as they talk about their weeks, pointedly avoiding talking about the obvious tension that’s been building for the past few days.

Throughout their breakfast at the cafe, Minho continues stealing kisses.

He kisses Jeongin a lot more just once but the maknae lets it slide for now.

He’ll get the older back some other time. For now, he just wants to enjoy the rest of his coffee as they walk back down the sidewalk toward home once again.
____________________________________________________________________________

Felix wakes up to an empty sofa and an even emptier house, the members all likely still sleeping soundly in their beds.

He shuffles up from the couch, going into his room and spying Changbin passed out on top of the covers and catching a glimpse of Chan’s messy bedhead from somewhere in the mess of his comforter.

Felix makes his way to the other bedrooms and observes all of the members fast asleep in their beds minus Jeongin and Minho who he assumes went out for an early breakfast or morning walk.

The feeling of being alone curls in his gut again. A knot rises up in his throat as his breath stutters and Felix makes it to the bathroom just in time as the tears start to roll down his cheeks.

He wipes at his eyes harshly, his stomach churning as guilt fills his body. He feels sick.

Felix lets out a strangled sob before turning on the faucet and splashing his face with cold water.

He’s better than this.

Felix has always done his best to express his feelings and show them outwardly. He’s not living with his parents anymore who made him feel like he had to hide his emotions as a kid.

He’s not the same person he used to be five years ago.

Felix has been doing so much better. He’s felt so much happier and his mental health has improved so much than what it used to be. So why does he still find himself awake at three in the morning, wishing the world would cave in and swallow him up?

“I swear I’m doing better,” he whispers out into the silent bathroom, not really trusting his own words as he clutches onto the bathroom sink.

His knuckles are white and Felix’s face is still dripping with water when a sudden knock comes from the other side of the door.

“Felix?” a joyful voice calls out, oblivious to the tears, guilt, and pain occurring on the other side of the bathroom door.

Felix quickly towels off his face with a washcloth, sweeping it under his nose and letting out a quiet sniffle.

“Yongbokie, you in there? You better not have your headphones in! Channie hates when we do that,” another voice calls.

Felix clears his throat quietly.

“Yeah? Do you need the bathroom?” he asks, ignoring the way his voice cracks.

He takes one last look in the mirror, fixes his hair, then puts on his best smile and unlocks the bathroom door.

“Nope! We were wondering if you wanted to come with us for breakfast? Minho and Jeongin-ah texted and said they went for a date so Jinnie and I decided to go out too,” Jisung explains, greeting Felix with a quick hug and a kiss right under his eye.

Felix’s cheeks burn as he pushes down the urge to cry at how softly Jisung is smiling at him and how much care he has in his eyes when he looks at Felix.

He doesn’t deserve it.

“Oh- Um- I’m actually okay. I think there’s leftovers in the fridge and I don’t really want to go out right now.”

“Okay. Do you want us to bring you back anything?“ Jisung offers while Hyunjin moves in closer to Felix, enveloping him in a hug and swaying their bodies gently from side to side.

“No. No, I’m- I’m good,” he stutters out a reply, letting his head fall gently on Hyunjin’s shoulder.

“Suit yourself! We’re getting smoothies,” Hyunjin giggles before blinking in shock at the laughter that spilled from his lips.

Felix holds onto him tighter, whispering a soft “I love you” into Hyunjin’s hoodie before pulling back.

“Have fun! I’ll see you in a bit,” he smiles warmly, this time loud enough for the two of them to hear.

Jisung grins back before a split second passes and his face is falling.

There’s something off about Felix’s smile.

“Are you sure you-”

Before Jisung can finish, Felix has already walked away, heading toward the kitchen to find something to eat in the fridge.

“C’mon! Smoothies,” Hyunjin urges, looking beyond excited.

Jisung’s worries are forgotten momentarily as he sees his boyfriend’s face glowing with happiness. Hyunjin hasn’t smiled like this since they made pancakes five days ago.

“Alright, alright. I’m coming,” Jisung laughs happily, allowing Hyunjin to pull him out the door.
____________________________________________________________________________

They’re at the smoothie place, sitting in a nice, cozy corner of the shop.

There are bean bags all around but the two have decided to sit as close to each other as possible on the same large, green bean bag.

Hyunjin ordered for the two of them while Jisung had found the spot for them, tucked away in one of the far corners, away from the door and register but close enough so they could hear Hyunjin’s name called when the order was ready.

Jisung still isn’t comfortable with ordering for himself. And ever since the incident at the restaurant with Felix, he’s even more anxious to go into restaurants, much less order for himself.

There’s something about having to talk to a complete stranger that always makes his hands clammy and breaths shaky.

Jisung has never liked interacting with strangers.

And no matter how many times he goes over his order in his head and recites it like a mantra until he gets to the register, he always manages to fumble his sentences and start panicking.

It’s hard not to think about how much people judge him, especially for not even being able to order food in restaurants without fucking everything up.

But luckily, he has seven amazing boyfriends that understand.

They never pressure him into doing anything that’s out of his comfort zone unless he wants them to. And they have no problem ordering for him at restaurants or speaking up for him when he can’t find his voice.

And when he wants to push himself, they are always there to encourage him and make his anxiety feel like something more manageable and able to be overcome.

“Jisung-ah?”

Jisung blinks his eyes back into focus, shifting his gaze over to the boy beside him and letting a lazy smile stretch across his face.

Hyunjin smiles back instantly in relief.

“You were up in the clouds again. Just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“All good,” Jisung giggles. “Just thinking. Or well, not thinking. I don’t know. Just existing, I guess.”

Hyunjin giggles, nodding to let Jisung know he’s understood.

A sudden call of Hyunjin’s name breaks the two out of their own little world in the corner of the shop.

“I can go get our drinks,” Jisung stands up from the bean bags.

“You sure?” Hyunjin narrows his eyes.

The shorter boy nods back, already wandering off toward the place where people pick up their smoothies.

“Hyunjin-ssi?” the worker asks politely.

Jisung nods, taking the two drinks from their hands.

“Thank you,” he bows his head slightly, running his thumb up and down the condensation on the outside of his smoothie.

“Yes! Have a good rest of your morning,” the worker replies before going back to making another order, talking with their other coworker before getting started on the drink.

“You too!” Jisung calls as he makes his way back to Hyunjin.

The boy excitedly looks up and makes grabby hands at his smoothie.

Jisung laughs, handing his boyfriend his smoothie before taking a sip of his own watermelon and pineapple one.

“It’s so good,” Hyunjin slurs out as he swallows his drink down.

Jisung shakes his head with a laugh before pulling Hyunjin up and leading him out of the shop.

They’re halfway back already when a message dings on Hyunjin’s phone.

Jisung swallows another sip of his drink before asking, “That one of the others?”

Hyunjin doesn’t respond, lifting his hand up to read the message before unlocking his phone to view the full thing.

“Hyunjinnie?” Jisung calls again when the boy still doesn’t reply.

“Is it Channie whining at us to get him a smoothie too?” he continues with a laugh, not thinking much of it as he looks over at Hyunjin’s phone and starts reading the message.

The smile on his face is whipped off by the end of the first sentence.

“Wha- What?” he chuckles nervously.

Hyunjin finally realizes what Jisung’s doing and quickly locks his phone, putting it back in his pocket.

“Fuck,” Jisung sputters out in horror. “Fuck, Jinnie! Who- Who texted you that? What the fuck? What’s going on? Who was that?”

He feels rage fill his bones, the words in the message still ringing in his head.

“It’s nothing, Sungie. Just drop it, please,” Hyunjin says lowly, his eyes averted to the ground as he slowly sips on his kiwi smoothie.

Hyunjin’s mind is still left reeling from the message, unable to even process all of Jisung’s questions.

This one had been far worse than the others he received this past week.

“That’s not- FUCK! That’s not nothing, Jinnie!” Jisung cries out in frustration.

Hyunjin barely manages not to cower away from
the harsh voice, his brain barely processing anything as time slowly unfreezes after it had come to a full halt when he realized who the message was from.

“Who the fuck texted you that?” Jisung spits out, finally managing to grab onto Hyunjin’s upper arm firmly and yank him back harshly so he stops walking.

Jisung crowds him into the side of the sidewalk closest to the shops so a couple can pass behind them on the narrow street before he looks Hyunjin dead in the eyes.

“It’s- It’s nothing, Jisung-ah. Can’t we just ignore it and-”

“No, it is not nothing! And no, I am not going to ignore when someone THREATENS MY BOYFRIEND AND CALLS HIM THOSE- THOSE HORRIBLE NAMES. THAT’S NOT FUCKING OKAY, HYUNJIN! TELL ME WHO THAT IS, NOW,” Jisung fumes, his voice a loud whisper so as not to alert anyone walking near them at this time of morning.

Hyunjin finally makes eye contact with him and winces in shock when he sees the tears running down Jisung’s pretty face.

“It’s- It’s my ex,” he finally whimpers out, his face crumbling as he lets his own tears fall.

“You’re-… Fuck, baby,” Jisung gets out before throwing his arms around Hyunjin and holding him close.

Hyunjin flinches hard but holds the younger back tightly before Jisung can pull away and apologize.

“I’m sorry. I’m- I- I’m so sorry. They’ve been messaging m- me this- this week. I thought I h- had their number blocked but-”

“That’s- That’s not okay, baby. We need to t- tell the others,” Jisung whispers back as Hyunjin lets out soft sobs, not quite crying but on the verge.

“I know,” he chokes out.

“I got you, Hyunjinnie. It’ll be okay, baby. They can’t hurt you, okay? Not while I’m here. I’ll always be there for you. I’m not leaving you alone ever, okay? They’re wrong, baby. They’re so fucking wrong. I love you. I love you so much. And so do the others. You deserve it. You deserve love.”

Hyunjin shakes in his arms, scattering sloppy and rushed kisses along Jisung’s neck as he sucks in shallow breaths to prevent himself from crying.

Jisung embraces him tighter, bringing a hand up to press Hyunjin further into his arms.

“I wanna g- go home and c- cuddle Seungminnie and th- the others,” Hyunjin sniffs out.

Jisung lets out a water laugh.

“We can do that, baby. Maybe we can rope Chan-hyung and Lixie in too if the o- others aren’t home,” he suggests.

Hyunjin nods, slowly pulling away from Jisung and wiping under his eyes to clear the few tears that had fallen against his will.

Suddenly, Hyunjin freezes.

“…What? Hyunie, what’s wrong?” Jisung asks in a panic.

“Oh my God! I think they’re playing our song!” Hyunjin gasps out.

“What do you-,” Jisung cuts himself off when he hears the beginning of Manic playing from the bakery a few feet ahead of them on the sidewalk.

“We should go in!” Hyunjin urges, looking pleased.

Jisung smiles warmly back at him, nodding his head and skipping into the shop while keeping a hand on Hyunjin’s arm to tow the boy along behind him.

Anything to make his boyfriend happy.
____________________________________________________________________________

“I’m going to go check on something; I’ll be back.”

“But…cuddles,” Hyunjin mutters, barely able to keep his eyes open as nuzzles the side of his face into a pillow, blinking up at Seungmin.

“I’ll come right back,” Seungmin rolls his eyes fondly.

“You better,” Jisung butts in, coming up behind his younger boyfriend and placing his hands on Seungmin’s hips.

Seungmin spins around in his arms, pressing a kiss to the boy's lips before pulling away.

Jisung's eyes widen in a split second of surprise before he smiles warmly back.

“Try to get Channie to sleep,” Seungmin leans in to whisper to Jisung.

The older boy glances at the leader who’s rummaging through his closet, finding a comfortable hoodie for Hyunjin to wear.

Jisung nods, momentarily getting distracted at how Chan’s closet looks like the equivalent of a black hole since all his clothes consist of is black, grey, and neutral tones (and the one pair of purple sweatpants that Jisung and Changbin both have matching sets of in their own closets).

“Hyung doesn’t listen to me…but I’ll try,” he chuckles, knowing very well how stubborn Chan can be when he wants to.

Seungmin snorts, nodding his head before pushing Jisung toward the bed where Hyunjin is now fast asleep, lying face-down on the mattress.

He watches as Jisung stifles a laugh at the boy before slowly making his way out of the room and venturing down the hall.

Seungmin stops outside of a door just a ways down the hall before taking a deep breath and lifting a hand to knock.

When no response comes, Seungmin lets himself through the door and closes it behind him, his eyes taking a moment to adjust to the low lighting in the room. The window in Jisung and Jeongin’s room is open a crack, the early afternoon breeze rusting the curtains and a small ray of sunlight streaming inside in stark contrast to the otherwise dark room.

Seungmin spots Changbin almost immediately.

He’s curled up on Jeongin’s bed, his body facing away from Seungmin and his head buried into a pillow.

Seungmin softly pads over to the bed and gingerly sits down next to his boyfriend.

Changbin shifts slightly after feeling the bed dip and when Seungmin’s voice calls his name, he rolls his body over to face him.

“Hey,” Seungmin greets, his face expressionless as he carefully pushes his body down the bed before crowding into Changbin’s space.

Changbin doesn’t say a word, just watches as Seungmin’s eyes flicker up to his own, asking nonverbally for permission to move closer.

The older boy nods and Seungmin shuffles in a bit closer, closing the distance between them and wrapping his arms around Changbin while their legs tangle up together beneath the sheets.

“Hi, puppy,” Changbin breathes out.

Seungmin’s face breaks into a smile. God, he hates Changbin.

‘I love you,’ Seungmin wants to say back but instead asks, “How are you feeling?”

Changbin sighs, slinging an arm over Seungmin’s shoulders to pull him in closer.

A moment of silence passes over them before the older finally speaks up.

“Not great,” he says, pausing before wincing at his honesty.

“I figured,” Seungmin shrugs, looking away before making eye contact again.

Changbin breaks it almost immediately.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Changbin closes his eyes tightly in response.

There’s nothing to even talk about.

He hasn’t felt anything since yesterday. And before that, all he’s felt is emptiness and sadness. From what? He doesn’t know.

Changbin can’t really open up to Seungmin when there’s nothing to open up about.

Seungmin doesn’t deserve to hear him ramble on about how he’s being sensitive and a downer and rude to everyone lately. He doesn’t deserve Changbin worsening his mood more than he already has. He doesn’t deserve Changbin’s bullshit. None of them do.

He doesn’t need to talk to anyone. He’s fine.

“No,” Changbin finally replies, unconsciously shifting in bed and making the space in between them increase just the tiniest bit.

Seungmin picks up on his body language almost immediately and awkwardly pulls his arms away from where they were wrapped around Changbin’s middle.

“Do um-. Hyunie, Sung, and Channie-hyung are cuddling on Chan’s bed right now. I was wondering if you wanted to join me before I head in,” Seungmin offers.

“Oh,” Changbin unconsciously scootches further away from Seungmin’s embrace, his arm landing in between them on a pillow as if putting up a wall to divide them from each other.

He thumbs at the fabric of the pillowcase before slowly shaking his head.

“No, I’m good, thanks. You didn’t have to wait up for me. I think I'll just rest in here for now.”

Seungmin opens his mouth to say something back but Changbin is already turning his body around to face the wall instead of Seungmin.

“Thanks though, puppy,” he continues sweetly before letting out a small yawn.

Seungmin swallows harshly, nodding to no one as he slowly gets out of the bed.

He nearly flinches as his feet come in contact with the cool hardwood floors but he pulls himself up nonetheless and walks toward the door.

Seungmin doesn’t find his voice again until he’s standing right at the entrance with the door cracked open the tiniest bit.

“Okay.”

He swallows again and tries not to overthink the situation.

“Sleep well, Binnie.”

The older boy doesn’t respond so Seungmin slowly exits the room, holding his breath as he waits for a response that never comes.

He waits for Changbin to say that he’s changed his mind. He waits for Changbin to say that he does want to talk about what’s been going on with him and open up about his feelings as he usually does with Seungmin. He waits for him to say that he was just kidding about refusing because he always tells Seungmin when he’s not feeling great. After all, they’ve always had that kind of bond. He waits for Changbin to say that he would actually love to cuddle with them. That he misses all of them and their comfort and wants more than anything to see his boyfriends since he’s been feeling down.

But all that comes from Changbin is silence.

So Seungmin closes the door and walks away.
____________________________________________________________________________

He makes it a few steps before bumping into Felix. Literally.

His poor boyfriend nearly toppled to the ground if it wasn’t for Seungmin’s steady grip on his forearm.

Felix yanks his arm back immediately after his feet are steady on the ground, breathing much too harshly and irregularly for someone who momentarily tripped backward.

Seungmin furrows his eyebrows, watching observantly as Felix soothingly runs his fingers lightly up and down the arm that Seungmin had grabbed.

“Do you need something?”

The younger looks up in surprise, taken back by the lack of usual emotion and playfulness in Felix’s voice.

Seungmin quickly masks his shock with a smile.

“I was just looking for you! The others wanted to know if you wanted to join us for cuddles,” he offers tentatively before his voice lowers into a whisper. “I think Hyunjinnie could use some cuddles from us right now.”

Felix’s stoic face crumbles at Seungmin’s last sentence.

What had happened to Hyunjin?

Felix feels horrible for his next words, the guilt filling him up and making it nearly impossible to get the words out.

“No,” he replies shortly. “He and Jisung brought bread home so I thought I’d make a sandwich for lunch. It’s nearly noon and I’m hungry. I’m sure you and the others will be enough to cuddle Hyunjinnie.”

Seungmin can’t cover up his unease at Felix’s statement, eyeing the boy with nothing but concern and uncertainty.

Something isn’t right.

First of all, Felix would never turn down cuddles with any of their boyfriends, especially after having that talk with them about how they haven’t been showing him enough physical affection or communicating properly when they don’t want it.

Second of all, Felix would never turn down any sort of thing that could possibly make one of the members feel better when they aren’t having a good time.

And third of all, Felix has always had a caring heart and has always wanted to be around his boyfriends unless they explicitly ask for space to be alone. Even if he didn’t want to cuddle, he usually would make an effort to at least be in the room or show his care in another way.

Seungmin has never seen Felix outright refuse cuddles or decline an offer to help make one of their boyfriends feel better.

It isn’t like him at all.

“Are you sure, Lixie? I know you love cuddles, baby. And it’s fine if you aren’t feeling it today but I thought it might be nice for us to all relax together for a little.”

“I’m sure,” Felix replies simply, looking up into Seungmin’s eyes and nodding assuredly.

Seungmin nods back slowly.

“…Okay,” he sighs, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

Felix hums in response before promptly turning on his heel and heading back out to the kitchen without another word.

Seungmin watches him leave with a blank expression.

He stands there for a minute, a sinking feeling in his gut, then heads back to the room where his other three boyfriends are.

Seungmin swings the door open and steps inside, smiling in contentment when he sees the three sleepy boys huddled up together under the covers, Hyunjin now swimming in one of Chan’s comfortable, black hoodies as he sleeps.

It’s enough to make his mood brighten significantly after what had happened.

“Ouch! Jisung! Fucking hell. That hurt,” Chan winces, carefully shifting the boy a bit to the right to avoid getting punched in the gut with the younger’s elbow for a second time.

“Sorry, hyungie,” Jisung slurs sleepily.

Chan smiles gently back.

“You’re good, love.”

He moves in closer to the boy, wrapping his arms around him and the already sleeping Hyunjin next to them.

Jisung curls further into Chan’s body, resting his head next to Hyunjin’s to press kisses against his shoulders and hair.

“You guys are cute,” Seungmin laughs under his breath, walking further into the room to press a kiss to Chan’s forehead and one on Jisung’s cheek.

Jisung hums in contentment while Chan looks up in surprise but smiles happily when he sees Seungmin has come back.

“Come get in here.”

Seungmin teasingly grimaces but nods, carefully pressing in against Chan’s back and wrapping his arms loosely around the leader’s waist.

“Couldn’t convince Bin to join us?” Chan asks the younger in a hushed whisper to let the other two sleep peacefully.

Seungmin blinks in shock.

“I’m assuming that’s what you were doing,” Chan looks over his shoulder at the younger with a knowing smile.

Seungmin huffs out a short laugh, nodding.

“Yeah. I ran into Yongbokkie too and he didn’t want to either.”

Chan frowns at the new information and Seungmin gently runs his hands down the older’s face, making the leader’s eyes flutter shut for a second before he shoots Seungmin a playfully upset look.

“Just relax. We can sleep now, hyung,” he says, patting Chan’s cheeks and smushing his face briefly just to pull a laugh out of the leader. “It’s still early afternoon and Minho and Innie aren’t even home yet.”

“Okay,” the older replies sleepily, stifling a yawn before letting his eyes slip closed.

“Get some rest too, puppy.”

Seungmin frowns slightly at the nickname.

He nods his head, settling in comfortably and closing his eyes.

Seungmin smooshes in closer to the leader, throwing a leg over his and Jisung’s bodies and sighing in contentment. He smiles sleepily but he can’t help but wish Changbin and the others were there sleeping in the bed next to him as well.

Chapter Text

“Why can’t they all just date each other? Why does it have to be so complicated?” Chan whines out for the millionth time, complaining about how the female lead could simply date both of the guys instead of leading both of them on and inevitably breaking the second male lead’s heart in the end.

“Hyung, shut up!” Jisung complains, already fully invested in the stupid love triangle as he holds hands tightly with Seungmin at his side and occupies his other with slapping the leader lightly on the chest.

“Yeah, Chan,” Seungmin says in English, fully routing for the second male lead despite knowing he’s going to have all his hopes and dreams shattered in the next few episodes when he isn’t chosen.

Minho pipes up from next to Felix at the end of the couch, either in full agreement with Chan’s complaint or completely against him. One could never tell with Lee Minho.

Either way, Felix was already completely zoned out.

The other voices fade into the background, the sound of the two men fighting over the girl on TV sound muted to Felix’s ears.

He feels overwhelmed, his skin prickling and overheated as his breathing picks up.

Felix doesn’t know what he’s feeling but he does know that it hurts.

He’s never wanted anything more than to curl up in bed, holding himself tightly while he cries and tries not to think about how horrible he’s felt these past weeks.

His chest throbs with a sudden onslaught of emotions.

Emotions he can’t explain.

Emotions he can’t understand.

Emotions he can’t express.

Felix shifts uncomfortably on the couch as the repressed feelings bubble up in his chest.

“Hey…You doing alright, Pixie?” Minho questions softly, gaining Seungmin’s attention as the younger boy looks over curiously from his spot sandwiched between Minho and Jisung.

“Hm?” Felix hums back, his brain taking a break from spitting insults at himself to process his boyfriend’s question.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he smiles happily back at the older, turning his attention back to the screen.

When did he get so good at pretending?

Felix has always been shit at lying but recently he’s discovered that he’s pretty good at pretending.

He has a knack for acting like things are okay when they are pretty far from it.

He isn’t sure how much time passes as he feigns interest in the show, nodding along with the others at certain comments and faking a laugh or two when Seungmin and Jisung joke around.

The ending credits roll to the top of the screen and the others start loudly talking, their laughter sounding hollow and soulless to Felix as he chucks the blanket draped over his, Changbin, and Minho’s laps off to the side.

Changbin doesn’t look over once and Minho is too preoccupied with making fun of Hyunjin to pay any mind to Felix tossing the blanket off of them.

Felix glances at Changbin and sees the older boy still immersed in whatever is on his phone as he had been for the whole duration of the show.

‘Why would he care anyway? Why would he ever care about you?’ Felix’s mind whispers, the words feeling like a punch to the gut.

They were lucky enough to have even gotten Changbin out of his room.

Felix’s head pounds as he stands up, the swirl of thoughts circulating his mind making him lightheaded as he fully rises from the couch.

‘They don’t care about you. They don’t love you. Why would they? Why would they ever care about someone like you?’

Felix wavers a bit, knowing fully well what will happen as soon as he sets foot in the bathroom.

‘I can’t do this,’ he scolds himself. ‘…not again. It isn’t fair. I promised to stop.’ But then the emotions flare up in his chest again, far too painful for Felix to ignore for another night.

‘If no one finds out then I’m not really hurting anyone, am I?’
____________________________________________________________________________

Felix finally manages to slip into the bathroom unnoticed as the others continue talking in the living room.

Some head off to their rooms to get ready for bed while some sneak off to the kitchen for an evening snack.

Felix can hear their laughter from the living room as he shuts the bathroom door softly.

He blindly locks the door, fiddling with the knob before finally managing to twist and lock it.

Felix takes a breath before stepping toward the sink and bracing his palms against the cold granite countertops like he had this morning.

Everything feels like too much.

His heart aches painfully in his chest. Felix curls in on himself, cowering over the sink as he carefully avoids looking up into the mirror accidentally.

Felix squeezes his eyes shut as he rubs up and down his arm to try and soothe himself.

‘It’s fine. I just have to breathe and then I can go to bed and sleep it off. Tomorrow things will be better,’ he lies.

His stomach rolls as another wave of hurt washes over him.

Things won’t be better tomorrow. Tomorrow isn’t magically going to make things okay again. Sleeping it off isn’t how emotions work. It’s not like Felix can just continue to ignore how he’s been feeling for weeks.

The mess of emotions swirling in his chest feels damn near painful at this point.

Felix’s mind and body feel like a jumble of hurt, sadness, and guilt.

He can’t handle it any longer.

‘You’re pathetic,’ his mind repeats over and over again.

He should be fine.

Everything has been resolved with his boyfriends and nothing has been going on with his friends or family other than the usual.

Everything is fine.

Sure, maybe he has been really stressed out with work lately. But that’s normal!

Felix is used to the stressful life of being an idol.

And maybe the lack of sleep is catching up to him a bit but other than that, everything has been fine.

Except for some reason, it’s not fine.

Felix does not feel fine.

“I’m okay,” he whispers to himself, his voice breaking and cracking horribly as he gazes back at his reflection in the mirror.

He feels tears prickle at the corners of his eyes as he tries and fails to smile at himself in the mirror.

But he knows the tears won’t fall.

He knows he won’t be able to cry or feel better or get any relief.

He can’t let out his emotions.

He can’t show his emotions because he doesn’t even understand them himself.

Over the years, he has tried so many other ways to find a way to express what he’s feeling inside but none of them have worked as well as this one.

None of them feel as good as this one.

‘It’s fine. No one will know and I’ll feel better afterward!’ he thinks positively.

Felix hastily opens the drawer under the sink, frantically rifling through until he finds what he’s looking for and dropping it with a clang onto the counter.

He slips his fingers underneath the bracelets dangling from his left wrist and tugs at them hurriedly, loosening them just enough for them to slip off and clutter onto the granite below.

Felix takes a moment to close his eyes, breathing in and out as he tries to ground himself enough to think clearly.

He hikes up the sleeve on his left arm and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he stares down at the faint white lines running horizontally across his arm.

His gaze trails down to his wrist where the lines become more condensed, the raised markings still looking red and irritated.

Felix smiles lightly to himself and despite the overwhelming emotions welling in his chest, a sense of fleeting ease washes over him.

This will help. This will make him feel better.

Felix blindly reaches for the small blade on the counter and looks down at it in his palm, remembering all those years back when he had been so desperate that he’d smashed a pencil sharpener to shards under his foot to retrieve the small blade inside it.

He breathes in deeply, presenting his wrist out in front of him as he gingerly sets the blade down onto the skin of his wrist.

His heart hurts and his mind continues whispering lies that cut through his skin and hurt more than any blade could.

Felix takes a shuddering breath, his mind screaming at him to give in or stop or call for someone to help, Felix can’t tell anymore.

His emotions overwhelm him; the fear, the guilt, the pain, the hurt, the frustration. But Felix doesn’t care anymore. He just wants to feel better. This will make him feel better.

Felix presses the blade down firmly on top of the cuts on his wrist, pushing down just until it hurts.

He moves the blade across his skin as his thoughts race and watches with bated breath as the cut slowly fills with red.

His lips quirk up in a tiny, pained smile as he digs into his flesh again, a little below the last one, pressing harder and harder so he can see the markings. So he can feel the pain. So he can finally express how he’s been hurting inside.

The pain makes Felix's hand tremble so he carefully grips onto the blade tighter.

It hurts.

It hurts so badly.

‘I deserve the pain,’ a sick part of Felix’s brain whispers to himself.

He continues making line after line, the pain almost unbearable as his hands shake and his breaths grow even harsher.

Felix finally sets down the blade and watches the blood pearl and slowly start filling out the cuts.

He grabs a wad of toilet paper and presses it against his skin, his mind already filling with a pleasant sort of floaty feeling.

Felix feels a little woozy so he quickly goes over to sit down on the toilet seat, pressing in close so he can awkwardly turn and press his sweaty and overheated forehead against the cool tiles of the bathroom wall behind.

Felix lets his body slump over the back of the toilet, taking in small breaths of air as he tries to calm his racing heart.

He feels carefree and happy now. The swelling wave of emotions in his chest has quelled.

Felix knows it will be back again tomorrow or the next day or next week but for now, he focuses on the sudden rush of adrenaline washing over his body.

He feels exhilarated.

He’s okay again.

Felix finally feels okay again.

Felix carefully peels himself up from where he was plastered against the back of the toilet and forces himself to walk back over to the sink, knowing he has to properly clean the cuts before wrapping them to stop the bleeding.

He’s just about to switch on the faucet when he looks down at his wrist and suddenly freezes.

A loud gasp rings out in the otherwise silent bathroom. It takes Felix a moment to notice it came from his own lips.

The sudden realization of what he’s done finally sets in. His whole body stiffens in horror.

“What did I do? What did I do?” Felix whimpers, his heart pounding as he lays two fingers gently over the cuts on his wrist.

He immediately hisses with pain and feels his heart seize up when his fingers come back red and bloody.

The sight has sudden tears springing into his eyes and Felix takes a step back as he lets out a choked gasp for air, not even registering as his back collides with the door behind him.

The handle digs painfully into his skin as the sound resonates in the bathroom but Felix’s ears are ringing too much to even pick up on the noise as he stumbles forward to the sink again.
____________________________________________________________________________

“What was that?” Chan asks worriedly as a loud thump sounds from the bathroom.

“Hm?” Minho hums back, tossing the garbage from their snacks away and looking back over at Chan in confusion, a tinge of concern playing on his features.

“Who’s in the bathroom?” the oldest continues, a permanent frown on his face as an anxious feeling creeps into his heart.

Another quieter sound comes from the bathroom and Minho freezes, looking at Chan with wide, worried eyes.

“Felix-”
____________________________________________________________________________

Felix’s wrist stings badly.

He no longer feels the gratifying numbness after self-harming. He no longer feels the relief of letting out everything that’s been building up inside him for weeks. He no longer feels like he’s floating on air; invincible, carefree, and calm.

Felix shoves his arm under the stream of water from the faucet and lets out a soft whimper at the sharp stings of pain that run up his arm.

The tears build up in his eyes, stuck in place and unable to fall as he looks into the mirror and lets out a garbled sob.

Suddenly, everything is crashing down on him.

He raises a shaky hand to his face and feels a wave of guilt wash through him.

He promised.

Felix promised he wouldn’t again.

He made a promise to himself and has broken it a thousand times already.

It’s always the “last time” he’s going to self-harm. It’s always convincing himself that this will make everything better and he won’t have to hurt himself again. It’s always a temporary solution. A temporary escape before the emotions in his chest return again and he starts the whole process over again.

It’s a vicious cycle.

“Fuck,” he shakily curses then repeats it louder, panic spreading through his entire body.

Felix feels sick to his stomach for the third time today.

The tears that have been stuck welling in the corners of his eyes fall free and in an instant, Felix is left sobbing, heaving over the sink as he gasps for breath.

His body shudders, barely able to get enough oxygen, but he still has enough sense to turn off the sink as the fingers in his left hand grow cold and tense.

His cries echo off the bathroom walls and Felix’s heart aches at the feeling of being alone.

He can barely hear anything above the ringing in his ears but he faintly hears footsteps running toward the bathroom.

Felix’s face is wet with tears and snot when the first person starts knocking on the door.

He can’t answer, his throat closing up as he chokes on sob after sob, trying and failing to quiet his noises as he cries.

The knocking grows louder and more insistent, several voices whispering to each other outside and other footsteps drawing closer.

“Felix?” someone calls. “Can we come in?”

The words startle some sense back into him.

“No,” Felix sobs out, tugging open a drawer to his right and shakily getting out the bandages.

He can barely see straight, the endless tears turning everything into a blurry disarray of colors and shapes.

“Can you come out then, baby?”

Felix shakes his head at the sound of Hyunjin’s voice though he knows they can’t actually see him through the bathroom wall.

His body shakes as he sloppily wraps his forearm with the bandage, pausing when he can’t manage anymore and letting the gauze fall.

Felix sobs wetly into his hands, the crushing feeling of guilt only worsening as he picks up on the open worry and fear in his boyfriend's voices.

“Lixie? We don’t want to force you to open the door but we would appreciate if you talked to us and we could make sure you’re okay,” the leader’s voice sounds from the opposite side of the door.

Felix moves his hands down from his face and clutches at his chest instead, a hand fisting his t-shirt as the other wraps around himself in an embrace.

He chokes on a small sound as he shakes his head again.

“I’m fine,” Felix lies, the tears still steadily trailing down his face as he raises his voice so the other seven can hear.

His boyfriends are starting to get increasingly worried if their boyfriend weeping in the bathroom wasn’t worrying enough.

As soon as the sobbing had started, quietly at first, Chan and Minho had immediately picked up on it from where they stood in the kitchen.

They made startled eye contact with each other before quickly striding over to the bathroom door.

The crying had picked up from there, gaining the other member's attention from where they were lounging in the living room or getting ready to slip into bed.

Soon enough, all of them were gathered outside of the door, worried out of their minds as their sweet and loving boyfriend sobbed from inside the bathroom.

It feels like a fire spreading down Felix’s forearm as the cotton brushes against his cuts when he finally manages to pull the gauze tightly and secure the bandage around his wrist.

“We care about you, Lixie,” Jeongin pleads, his hands shaking as he grasps at the locked door handle from outside. “Please come out, hyungie!”

“Come on, Bokkie,” Minho encourages, gently grasping Jeongin’s shoulders and pulling the maknae away from the door so he can hold his hand to comfort the both of them.

Felix's body quivers as he tries to seal his lips shut, the volume of his cries only making him feel even more horrible for putting his boyfriends through this.

“Felix?” a tentative voice calls out.

“…Y- Yeah?” Felix sniffles back, staring at his reflection in the mirror as the tears fall down his cheeks, his bottom lip trembling.

“We’re here for you, Lix. Please come out.”

“Changbin-hyung?” Felix cries out, sobbing even harder at the voice of his older boyfriend, his previous attempt to try and cease his cries all in vain.

“Please,” Changbin repeats, an edge of panic in his voice.

“We’re all worried, Felix-ah. We just want to know you’re okay, beautiful,” Seungmin adds gently.

“Yeah, baby. We love you so much! Could you please unlock the door for us?” Jisung pipes up, his voice trembling as he tries to be encouraging.

Minho quickly takes hold of his hand, squeezing tightly to ground him as Chan takes the other, all three of them needing to feel a sense of security as they wait for Felix to open the door.

Jeongin shifts at Minho’s side, his grip on Minho’s hand tightening as Seungmin eases in next to him, grabbing his unoccupied hand while Hyunjin comes to rest behind them, setting his chin on Jeongin’s shoulder.

Changbin glances over at them and quickly averts his eyes, staring at the white bathroom door as they wait for Felix to say something.

Then suddenly the lock on the door is turning and Felix is stepping out of the bathroom, his right hand pressed against his mouth to keep his sobs in as his body shakes and trembles.

“Lixie-,” someone breaks off, sounding horrified.

Felix looks up into the eyes of Hyunjin, who walks around Jeongin to stand before him.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” his boyfriend gasps, carefully reaching out to grasp onto Felix’s fingers and pull his left arm up, flipping it around and staring at the gauze wrapped around his wrist.

He sounds so broken that Felix can’t help but break down into tears again, taking a step forward and slumping into Hyunjin’s arms.

The older boy gasps again and is quick to wrap his arms around Felix.

“Lixie, baby,” Hyunjin says softly. “Are you hurting yourself?”

His tone doesn’t sound horrified or shocked anymore. He doesn’t sound disgusted or angry. His voice is gentle, kind, and loving.

Felix shakes in his embrace.

It’s almost a relief to hear those words despite the way they make his stomach drop in dread.

Maybe a part of Felix has always been waiting for someone to ask if he was okay.

Hyunjin isn’t mad. Hyunjin isn’t upset. Hyunjin doesn’t hate him because of what he did.

He’s still here.

“I- I’m not… I’m not okay,” Felix gets out, more sobs following as he completely breaks in Hyunjin’s arms.

Another pair of arms are wrapping around him and Felix peers behind him, shocked to see that it’s Minho hugging him from behind.

His expression is solemn but he presses a small kiss to Felix’s ear and Felix knows he’s safe with them.

He slumps over between them, his knees nearly giving out and sending him toppling to the ground as he squeezes an arm around both of them.

Hyunjin gently places a hand on Felix’s head as Minho wraps his arms lightly around Hyunjin’s shoulders, locking the three of them in place.

Chan quickly makes his way over as soon as he sees Felix’s knees trembling once more, worried the boy will end up falling to the ground if he isn’t there to support him.

He gently places his hands on either side of Felix’s waist.

The younger boy jolts at the touch and Chan smiles warmly at him when he looks up.

In an instant, Felix is throwing himself into Chan’s body, squeezing him almost uncomfortably tightly.

Chan holds him just as tightly, propping his chin on Felix’s shoulder as he bites back the tears threatening to fall down his cheeks.

“Got you, love. I got you,” he mutters in his ear, wrapping an arm across Felix’s upper back as the boy continues to fall apart in his embrace.

Felix is hiccuping with sobs as he pulls back from the leader and lets Jeongin slide an arm around
him before placing his arms around his waist as Jisung joins the hug.

“Thanks for opening the door, baby. I missed you,” Jisung kisses his tear-stained cheeks, holding them close.

Then Seungmin is shuffling in behind Felix, his hands hiding his face until he gets close enough to bury himself into Felix’s shoulder.

He bites his lip, crying quietly into Felix’s neck as he holds him tightly.

“I’m s- sorry. I’m s- s- so s- sorr- y-,” Felix’s voice breaks before his eyes catch Changbin’s as the older boy stands behind Jeongin and Jisung, looking out of place.

Felix thinks a few of them respond to his apology but all he can focus on is getting to Changbin, pulling away from the other two boys as Seungmin quickly lets him go when he realizes where Felix is headed.

It only takes a moment of hesitation before Changbin is hugging Felix tightly.

Felix feels more than hears the harsh breaths Changbin lets out against his neck and his embrace only seems to get tighter as he squeezes Felix closer.

“I thought you we- were d- dead, Felix,” Changbin dissolves into tears.

The sentence has Felix stiffening in his embrace, feeling shocked and horrified beyond belief.

“Lix, I- please, you-,” the older boy cuts himself off, stuttering out curses as he tucks himself against Felix’s body and sobs.

He had tried to hold his tears back but Felix crying in the bathroom had terrified Changbin more than he’d like to admit. His brain had immediately jumped to the worst-case scenario.

‘Stop doing this’ Changbin’s mind screams at himself.

This isn’t about him.

He’s making Felix feel guilty.

He wants to ask Felix what’s been going on and if he feels comfortable sharing but the world feels like it’s still crashing down despite Felix being wrapped safely in his arms.

“S- Sorry, I’m not trying to- I just- y- you sacred me, and I- I don’t- I can’t-”

Felix doesn’t need Changbin to finish for him to understand what he’s trying to say.

He cries silently with the older boy, not even realizing how much he must’ve scared all of them.

“I’m s- so sorry,” he apologizes again.

Changbin shakes his head furiously, not wanting Felix to feel guilty for something that wasn’t his fault.

He pulls back, holding the younger boy by the shoulders.

“No,” he denies. “You don’t have to be- Fuck! Y- You-. It’s not your- fault-”

By now, Chan and Jeongin have made their way over, worried about the both of them.

“Hey, Bin, you need to calm down, yeah? I need you to breathe, love,” Chan instructs, putting a hand on the boy’s back.

“Why don’t we go sit on the sofa, hyungs!” Jeongin suggests nervously. “We can relax together for a bit.”

Changbin chokes on another sob, his breathing not calming down a bit as Chan quickly pulls him away from Felix’s embrace.

The younger boy cries out, feeling hopeless as he slumps to the side into Jeongin’s arms.

“I’m s- sorry, Changbinnie. I’m so s- sorry, h- hyung,” he mutters mindlessly as Chan pulls Changbin away into the bathroom.

“He’s not upset, hyungie. Binnie’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. We were all just worried about you because we care and love you so much,” Jeongin explains helpfully.

Felix nods, tears slowly lessening as a small laugh spills out of him.

“Y- You love me.”

Jeongin isn’t sure if it’s a statement or a question but he nods nonetheless.

Felix holds the maknae tighter, feeling comforted by Jeongin’s words.

‘See? They do love me,’ Felix thinks to himself.

“Why don’t we go sit on the couch?” Minho pipes up, after quickly checking in on Chan and Changbin from the doorway.

Felix nods but makes no move to part from the youngest’s embrace.

Minho and Jisung chuckle quietly as the latter goes over and gently puts his arms around Felix’s waist and hoists him up into his arms.

Felix quickly wraps his legs around Jisung’s waist and lets the older (by a day) take him out to the living room.

A small giggle leaves lips as he leaves small kisses against Jisung’s neck, the tears steadily coming to a stop.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Bin, I need you to calm down,” Chan whispers kindly.

The boy shakes his head from where he’s hunched down on the ground, sobs wrenched out of his throat as he heaves over the toilet.

His stomach turns with nausea and Changbin cries harder.

All he can think about is Felix dying, the horrible scenario playing over and over again in his head.

He knows logically that Felix is okay. Well, maybe not okay, but he’s safe with the other members in the living room right now.

But Changbin’s brain keeps holding onto his intrusive thoughts, his brain making everything seem worse and worse.

“C- Can’t,” he chokes out, nearly throwing up again as his breath hitches.

“Felix,” he weakly calls.

“Bin,” Chan sighs, crouching down near the boy and rubbing a gentle hand on his back, his heart pounding with how worried he is about the boy next to him.

“You’re really worked up right now, love.”

Changbin nods at his words, weakly crying as he tries to avoid Chan’s eyes from where the older is leaning down next to him.

“F- Felix- Lixie! I thought he-,” Changbin pants out, taking in gulps of air as the warm tears run down
his flushed skin.

“Felix needs you to calm down, okay, baby? I want to help you. Can you tell hyung what I can do to make you feel better?” Chan asks sweetly, reaching out to gently brush Changbin’s hair out of his face.

The younger boy’s face falls at his words and Chan feels horrible.

“N- No, hyungie,” Changbin starts and it makes tears spring into Chan’s eyes, not realizing how much he missed Changbin calling him “hyung”.

“I- I’m fine,” the younger boy insists.

He doesn’t want to bother the older more than he has, feeling incredibly guilty for taking him away from Felix who needs comfort right now.

“No, love, you’re not. But that’s okay, yeah? I’m here for you and we can stay here until you’re feeling better,” Chan objects as he gently shifts his body to latch onto Changbin’s back, rubbing small circles on his stomach as the boy gasps over the toilet.

Changbin shakes his head.

He knows he won’t feel better anytime soon.

He squeezes his eyes tightly shut as he breathes out harshly, his stomach slowly settling as the tears trail slowly down his cheeks.

Changbin clenches his jaw and steels his expression, his throat quivering as he swallows and brings a hand up to wipe away the tears off his face.

“We can go now,” Changbin starts and quickly continues when he senses the leader about to protest. “I want t- to see Lix.”

Chan bites back his words, nodding and helping Changbin up from the floor without another word.

He gently grasps around his waist and drags him up to his feet, tightening his grasp when Changbin stumbles slightly before regaining his footing.

There are a million things he wants to say to Changbin.

He wants to ask him what’s been going on. He wants to tell him he loves him. He wants to ask Changbin if he’s okay. He wants to apologize for the other day when he had made him upset. He wants to hug him and tell him everything’s going to be okay. He wants to tell Changbin that he’s here for him and that he can listen and be there to comfort him when he’s feeling like this.

But Chan swallows his words down and steps back from Changbin, shivering at the cold air in the bathroom as the space between them furthers.

“Ready?” he asks breathily.

Changbin nods, not bothering to look up at him as he brushes away a final tear running down from his left eye.

Chan’s heart clenches and he wishes he could take the boy into his arms and tell him everything's going to be fine. But Chan doesn't even know if everything’s going to be fine.

It feels like everything is breaking apart all around them and Chan doesn’t know how to comfort him if he can’t even comfort himself.

Chan’s hand naturally slips into Changbin’s as they leave the bathroom but Changbin feels too numb and miserable to hold his hand back.

Their hands fall apart and the space between them feels vast and uncertain. And Changbin isn’t sure how to make it stop growing.
____________________________________________________________________________

Felix lets out a whine, clutching at the older boy as he makes to set him on the ground next to the couch.

“Just one second, Lixie. I’m only letting go for a second,” Jisung reassures, slowly releasing Felix and letting the other cling onto his arm before falling back onto the couch and gesturing for his boyfriend to join him.

The boy quickly scrambles onto his lap and holds Jisung tightly, not wanting to be parted from him for even a second.

Felix feels the couch dip as his other boyfriends slowly join them on the sofa but he makes no move to face them.

“…Felix-,” Jisung clears his throat.

Felix shakes his head, holding him tighter and nuzzling his forehead against Jisung’s shoulder.

“Stay, p- please,” Felix whispers out, his voice nearly giving up as his lips tremble.

The other boy nods reassuringly, his arms sliding up from Felix’s waist to wrap around his shoulders and back to hug him closer to his body.

“I’ll stay, sunshine. I’m not going anywhere. We can stay like this for as long as you need.”

Felix immediately relaxes at the words, already feeling safer and less alone now that he’s nestled in Jisung’s arms.

Felix loses track of time as he listens to Jisung’s breaths slowly fan out against the side of his face and feels the slow, rhythmic circles the boy is tracing against his back.

All too soon, he’s pulled out of his comfortable daze when the sound of footsteps draw nearer to the couch.

He stifles a yawn and peers over to watch as Chan and Changbin settle onto the couch, shutting his eyes tightly to draw himself out of the drowsy fog that threatens to send him straight to sleep.

“Hey,” Jisung gently nudges Felix. “I know you’re sleepy, baby, but do you think you need medical attention? I don’t um-. I just want to check and make sure it’s nothing…”

Felix listens attentively, nodding as Jisung trails off and swallows harshly against his back, unable to find the words.

“No. I was…I was careful,” he says, wincing a second later.

“I mean- I know it’s not-,” Felix sighs. “I never go too far. I promise. And I- I cleaned and everything so- so nothing will get infected.”

The silence is loud as Felix finishes, breathing steadily before steeling himself and shifting off Jisung’s lap and away from the safety of his arms.

He looks over at the other members and takes a deep breath, unsure of if he’s supposed to say something or not.

Luckily, Jisung pipes up so he doesn’t have to.

“That’s good, baby. I’m proud of you for cleaning and wrapping your wrist,” Jisung says softly after a small pause, pressing a kiss to the side of Felix’s face.

The praise makes Felix’s cheeks burn, feeling halfway humiliated and halfway pleased from his affection.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, a small smile threatening to show as a feeling of appreciation for the boy next to him as well as all the rest of the boys on the couch spreads through him.

“Do- Do you-”

Felix’s gaze immediately snaps up to meet Minho’s as his boyfriend cuts off.

The older boy takes a deep breath before starting again, his voice wavering slightly as he speaks.

“Do you want to tell us about your wrist, Bokkie? It’s okay if you’re not ready, but I-,” Minho gulps, shooting Felix a wobbly smile.

“It’s okay, hyung,” Felix replies quietly, leaning over Jisung to place a comforting hand on the second-oldest’s thigh.

Minho takes a steady breath and nods, waiting for Felix to continue.

“I’m not sure where to s- start but um- I was- I was clean f- for f- four years and abou- about two months until a few weeks ago,” he sputters out, a sob rising in his throat that he doesn’t bother trying to stop.

His voice shakes and his stomach flips, trembling as he bites his lip before shakily inhaling.

“I um- I just haven’t b- been feeling good,” he sobs out. “It’s not- It’s not anything y- you’ve done. Y- You guys are amazing a- and I love you s- so- so much.”

He takes another stuttering breath, feeling Jeongin take his hand and start gently playing with his fingers and rings, making Felix relax back into the cushions of the couch.

“I- I don’t know what’s w- wrong with me b- but sometimes it just all g- gets too much. An- And I can't think or d- do anything and it’s so hard to talk about i- it because I sh- should feel okay…There’s no reason wh- why I shouldn’t be okay,” his voice cracks. “B- But I don’t. …And the only- The only thing that helps is to- is to hurt myself. It’s- It’s like a release. And it feels…so fucking good in the moment. B- But when I wake up…the next day and my- my wrist is so fucking i- itchy and my head hurts and I just feel so- so guilty and asham- ashamed. B- But sometimes I think it’s the o- only thing that will h- help. It’s- It’s like everything that I’m feel- feeling on the inside h- hurts s- so much and I can’t express it so when I- when I self-harm, c- cutting makes me feel the pain on the o- outside so I don’t have to h- hurt on the in- inside any longer.”

By now, Felix has worked himself back up to fully crying. He feels humiliated but it also feels nice to be able to cry and let everything out.

He wants them to know.

“Sometimes, the p- pain was the only thing I c- could feel. …The only thing I could c- control in my l- life. So I used to crave the f- feeling and I knew- knew deep down that it w- wasn’t healthy, but I just c- couldn’t… I couldn’t-,” Felix breaks off, breathing in through his nose before exhaling through his mouth, trying to calm his breathing as his heart beats erratically in his chest.

“We got you, baby. Love you so much, Lixie,” Seungmin whispers, leaning over Jeongin to press a kiss to his cheek.

“Thanks, Minnie,” Felix murmurs, his face blushing slightly at the affection as tears continue rolling down his cheeks.

“I think,” he pauses for a moment, swallowing harshly. “I think a part of me thought I d- deserved the pain.”

“Oh, baby,” Hyunjin sniffs, already crying at the fact that one of his boyfriends could feel that way about himself.

Felix looks up and the tear tracks on Hyunjin’s face only make more tears spring into his own eyes in response, making Felix hurriedly wipe at his cheeks as more tears make their way down his face.

He looks around at his other boyfriends and sees Jeongin’s puffy eyes, the clear streaks of tears on Chan’s face, and the wetness under Seungmin’s eyes.

“I- I’m sorry,” he stutters out, his eyes welling up at the state of his other boyfriends as he sees the broken expression on Minho’s face and the concealed worry hidden in Jisung and Changbin’s expressions.

“Fuck, no-. N- No, Lixie. You don’t need to be s- sorry, sunshine,” Chan sniffles out, sending the boy a wide smile despite the small tears escaping the corners of his eyes. “We love you. That’s why we were worried, okay? We want to be there for you. We want to g- get you the help that you deserve.”

“I’m so proud of you for tell- telling us,” Changbin whispers.

Felix’s heart leaps in his throat at the words.

“Th- Thank you. Thanks for staying with m- me and n- not leaving me. Thanks for b- being here. Thank you.”

“We’ll always be there for you, hyungie,” Jeongin smiles back at him in response.

Felix lets out a pained whimper, his shoulders rising and falling rapidly as he pants out breath after breath, giving up on uselessly wiping the tears as they continue falling down his face.

He wraps his left arm around Jeongin’s middle and the younger quickly pulls the both of them closer to one another, his head coming to rest comfortably in the crook of Felix’s shoulder as the older continues crying loudly.

“Love,” a voice calls out gently and it takes a second for Felix to realize Chan has come closer and is now kneeled by his feet on the couch.

“Yes, Ch- Channie-hyung?” Felix sniffles back.

Chan’s mouth quirks up a bit in a smile and he gently sets a palm on Felix’s knee, gently rubbing up and down his skin soothingly.

“Are there any coping mechanisms that have helped you in- in the past that don’t involve self-harm?” he questions gently, giving Felix time to think about it and respond.

“…B- Brownies,” the younger replies absentmindedly before looking back into Chan’s eyes and giving a clearer response. “Baking h- helps. An- And listening to music. …Dancing. And just…just being around y- you guys.”

“Aw, baby,” Jisung coos from Felix’s left, leaning sideways into the boy.

Felix chuckles wetly, the endless tears never ceasing as he looks down at their leader again.

Chan clears his throat, patting Felix’s leg before straightening up a bit.

He bites his lip, unsure of how he’s supposed to ask.

“Hyung…I can,” Seungmin pipes up from the couch.

Chan quickly turns to him with wide eyes but Seungmin has already directed his attention over to Felix.

Felix tenses up on the couch, looking between the two of them in confusion.

“Lix, we want you to feel better,” Seungmin starts, looking kindly into his boyfriend's eyes and reaching across Jeongin’s body that’s still stumped against Felix to hold the older boy’s hand.

“We want you to get the support you need, yeah? And I think… I think Channie-hyung was trying to ask if you’d be willing to get help from a pr- professional. Obviously, we’ll all be here to help every day but it might be nice, if you wanted to, to talk to someone who has an…uh- outside perspective- on things.”

Seungmin glances quickly over at Chan, who gives him a reassuring nod.

That’s exactly what he had been trying to say.

“I- I w- want help,” Felix whispers out, looking down as he squeezes Seungmin’s hand and nuzzles his head against Jeongin’s.

“But I can’t- I don’t um- D- Do I have to go b- by myself?”

“No, Bokkie-ah, of course not,” Minho speaks up. “We can make sure one of us is always available to go with you, yeah?”

Felix nods unsurely.

“Yeah, baby, don’t worry about it, okay? When I first started therapy, Channie went with me every single time because I was scared to go alone. He made me super comfortable and eventually I was able to go by myself! And even if you still always want someone to go with you, we’ll never mind or be upset with you that you want us to come,” Jisung says, reaching a hand out to turn Felix’s face and gently thumb at his cheeks with a grin.

Felix smiles back, sniffling a bit as he thanks Jisung under his breath.

“Innie…Are you asleep?” Hyunjin suddenly calls, just having realized the boy hadn’t spoken in a while and was still pushed into Felix’s neck.

“No,” the maknae whines back, his voice muffled as he pulls a little away from Felix to glare at the older boy.

“I’m not even t- tired,” he bites out, a yawn following right after and making his cheeks flood with color.

Hyunjin lets out a little laugh and Felix giggles, kissing the boy’s cheek gently as he grumbles under his breath.

“But no, I wasn’t sleeping. I was actually…” he trails off before decidedly pulling out his phone and showing the screen to the boy next to him.

Felix blinks the tears out of his eyes and the picture slowly comes into focus.

“It’s um- It’s before some performance. I forget which one,” Jeongin explains, laughing a little as he zooms in on the photo. “I fell asleep on the ground and when I woke up, Min-hyungie was cuddling me and you were behind him.”

“Oh my God,” Felix chokes out, smiling brightly. “I remember that.”

“You both had a leg slung over me so I could barely move,” Jeongin cutely complains, gesturing Minho over to see the picture.

The older boy quickly comes over and clambers onto Jisung’s lap to see the photo.

“Ow, hyung! Jesus fucking Christ, Minho-”

“I remember!” Minho exclaims, decidedly ignoring Jisung’s cries of pain. “My arm was numb afterward but it was worth it.”

“Aw, Min,” Chan coos, making Minho shoot him a disgusted look.

“Wait. Look at this one of Hyunjin-hyung sleeping on Changbinnie-hyung,” Jeongin shows his phone to Felix, Minho, and Jisung before turning it around for the others to see.

“Ah, you were so cute, Hyunjinnie,” Changbin says softly, his mouth stretching into a small smile.

Hyunjin looks back at him, smiling so hard his eyes turn into crescents as he laughs.

Suddenly both Jeongin and Felix burst into laughter, looking down at the phone in between them.

“It’s Seungminnie,” Jeongin gets out in between laughs as the others stare in confusion at the two of them, showing off the next photo where Seungmin is pulling an awful face.

Seungmin looks slightly mortified so Jeongin is quick to reassure him as the others burst into laughter.

“You look pretty, don’t worry.”

Seungmin smiles back at him.

“You’re prettier.”

Jeongin gives him a side-eye, shuffling closer to Felix on the couch, which only makes Seungmin grin harder and wrap his arms tightly around the boy.

They cuddle up together on the couch, Chan soon joining the pile on the sofa and hugging Hyunjin while occupying his other hand with lightly holding Changbin’s.

Stray Kids continue scrolling through the photos on Jeongin’s phone, pausing every three photos to zoom in on funny pictures or ones taken just at the wrong moment.

They cuddle in close together with Felix in the center, cooing at cute photos and crying out with laughter at every hilarious photo Jeongin managed to capture on his phone.

It’s a while later when Hyunjin finally glances at the time.

“We should…We should probably go to bed,” he says hesitantly, his eyes downcast.

It hasn’t been like this in a while. He doesn’t want it to end.

“No.”

Everyone turns in surprise to Felix who looks up at all of them before shaking his head again.

He swallows, tears sparkling again in his eyes despite the quick smile he sends them all.

“Need you tonight,” he admits, looking pleadingly at his boyfriends.

Minho nods understandingly and Changbin shoots him a small, reserved smile.

“Couch cuddles?” Jisung clarifies, already happily bouncing his leg up and down at the thought.

“Couch cuddles,” Felix confirms.

Soon enough, Chan is bringing out the mattress and plugging it into the wall to blow it up.

Then with several trips down the hall, they manage to fully cover everything in blankets, pillows, and Felix’s plushies.

Jisung and Seungmin work to push the mattress in the crook of the sofa and are the first ones to leap on with matching grins as Hyunjin and Jeongin playfully scold them for nearly popping it.

The night ends with Felix and Hyunjin cuddling close and one of Felix’s hands holding Seungmin’s.

Seungmin interlaces their fingers gently while holding Minho tightly in his sleep, their legs tangled as they drift off peacefully.

The others are scattered around on the mattress and couch with Chan spooning Jeongin while Jisung cuddles up to him and Changbin off to the very right, keeping to himself but still close enough to feel the other’s warmth while he holds Gyu tightly to his chest.

Chapter Text

“Hey, how are you doing?”

Felix shrugs, taking another sip from the orange juice Seungmin poured from him.

He looks down at the mug, taping his fingers against it and focusing on the clinking sounds it makes as his rings hit the cup.

He abruptly stands up and pushes in his chair.

Felix sucks in a breath before his lower lip starts trembling.

He doesn't know what he’s feeling or how to describe it. All he can feel right now is the pit in his stomach growing and his skin prickling at the horrible wave of emotion that passes over his body.

“Felix? Love, do you need anything?” Chan asks again.

The question makes Felix’s eyes burn as he slowly turns toward him and opens his arms up just slightly.

Chan quickly takes a step forward and engulfs Felix in a hug.

The younger boy shakes against him, soft cries bubbling up from his throat that feel too loud for the room, the sound echoing off the walls and piercing his ears uncomfortably.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Felix doesn’t say a word and continues sobbing into Chan’s shoulder as another pair of arms wrap around him.

He glances up through blurry eyes and makes out Seungmin hugging the both of them, then Jisung walks in from the hallway to join the hug as well.

“I- I don’t know why I’m cry- crying,” Felix confesses.

He thought this would all be settled by the morning, but telling the others about him self-harming was more draining and overwhelming than he had thought.

“That’s fine, Lix. We’re right here,” their leader reassures as the other two stay silent, hugging them both tightly.

“I- I just- My- My wrist is i- itchy,” Felix laughs out, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“It’s really- It’s really itchy,” he gasps out, breaking down into more tears and hysterics.

“We’ve got you. We’re all here for you,” Chan repeats over and over again as Felix’s body trembles more and it grows harder to breathe in between sobs.

“Thank you-,” Felix manages to choke out before another sob is wrenched from his throat and the other's arms tighten around each other, locking them in an embrace that speaks louder than any words could.
____________________________________________________________________________

A knock comes at the door frame and Jisung quickly looks into the mirror, spotting Minho at the entrance to the bathroom.

“How’s Felix?” the older questions, leaning against the edge of the door and locking eyes with Jisung in the mirror.

The younger boy sighs, hands going up to tousle his hair before dropping back down to the sink.

“He’s in my room; resting,” he replies quietly. “I think Jeongin’s cuddling with him. Channie-hyung forced them to rest. They both didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

Minho nods, remembering when he had woken up briefly and spotted Felix awake amidst their cuddle pile.

He had awoken disoriented, taking a few moments to realize he was out in the living room with the others before his eyes caught the light of a phone screen shining brightly in the dark room.

Minho had gently scooted forward in Seungmin’s arms, the boy protesting even in his sleep by tightening the arm around Minho’s waist enough to make him nearly immobile.

Luckily, Minho was able to move enough to see who was awake at such an hour and gently called out to Felix. The boy startled at his voice but smiled sleepily back at Minho. The older boy frowned back at him and whined at Felix to get some sleep. His boyfriend had easily agreed but as Minho’s eyes slipped closed once again, he vaguely remembers the light of a phone screen still dimly illuminating the room to his left.

“And how’s Jisungie doing?” he cocks his head to the side as he locks eyes with the younger in the mirror.

Jisung scoffs at him, a smidge of a smile tugging at the side of his lips before it disappears completely.

Minho swallows thickly, moving further into the bathroom and observing his boyfriend quietly.

“…You okay, Hannie?” he asks softly.

Jisung doesn’t make any inclination that he’s heard him and continues staring off into space, his posture rigid and stiff.

Minho’s concern grows as he catches Jisung’s eyes quickly darting around him as if searching for the quickest exit.

Jisung breathes out before his breath catches, his insides twisting up as the feeling of being unable to breathe hits him square in the chest.

His whole body is tense and there’s a sharp sense of danger and panic forming a knot in his throat that’s making him unable to respond back to Minho.

“Can I hold your hand?” Minho’s voice interrupts the anxious loop of jumbled-up thoughts in Jisung’s head.

He nods furiously, enough to make his head spin as the older quickly obeys and takes his hand, squeezing gently.

“You’re not feeling great, are you, honey?”

“No,” Jisung manages to push out, his gaze locked on himself in the mirror.

“You’re feeling pretty awful right now, huh?”

Jisung’s breaths are uneven and choppy as he lets out a quiet whimper.

“This- This feels awful,” he says, his voice dipping then rising again before falling.

He winces at his words, barely able to even recognize his own voice as the panic overwhelms him further.

Minho hums in agreement.

“Yeah. But it’s not going to last forever.”

Jisung lets the words sink in.

“It’s not going to last for- forever,” he parrots back.

Minho nods, giving his hand a squeeze as if to remind him he’s here for him.

“And we can just wait here, yeah? There’s no rush. This will be over soon but until then, we can just stay here for a bit, hm?”

Jisung exhales shakily.

“This is awful but it won’t- last forever,” he murmurs under his breath, removing his hand from Minho’s to brush his hair back away from his face before reclasping their hands.

They stand silently in the bathroom together before Jisung brings their connected hands up to kiss the back of Minho’s softly.

The older boy can’t help but sweetly giggle at the action, his brain conflicted on whether he wants to roll his eyes at Jisung and question why he ever agreed to date him or any of the rest of them, and the other wanting to sprinkle kisses along Jisung’s face and compliment his muscles.

“I love you.”

Minho’s mind instantly snaps back to the present at the soft words uttered.

He looks over and meets Jisung’s eyes almost immediately.

The younger boy giggles, the action making his lungs tense a little painfully as he sucks in a sharp breath and winces.

“I love you too, Hannie,” Minho mumbles back because when has he ever been one to deny Jisung?

The younger boy smiles faintly at him before tugging Minho’s hand harshly and pulling him out of the bathroom behind him.

“Ouch! You nearly yanked my arm from its socket,” Minho yelps.

“I’ll just have to kiss it better then,” Jisung mutters offhandedly.

Minho’s nose scrunches up in disgust before he focuses back on where the younger is dragging him off to.

“We’re going to cuddle with Lix and Innie,” Jisung says as if able to read Minho’s mind.

“Fucking soulmate things,” the older boy complains moodily under his breath, making Jisung pause in confusion before shaking his head at the older and continuing past the living room and down the hall toward their bedrooms.

They reach the second room and Jisung is just about to twist the handle when Minho’s hand reaches out to touch gently on his arm.

Jisung blinks in surprise and turns around curiously to face him.

“Are you sure you’re good now? I know you want to cuddle Felix-ah, but just make sure you’re not…” Minho trails off, his hands uselessly gesturing before flopping back down at his sides.

Jisung’s expression softens and an unreadable look passes over his face as he leans into Minho.

The older quickly wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s back.

“I’m sure, hyung. I mean, I’m not…good, but I think- I don’t think any of us are doing very well lately.”

“Yeah, but- Sung-,” Minho tries to protest before being interrupted again.

“I-,” Jisung sighs. “I know, but I’m honestly okay now. I’m not lying to you. I want cuddles. Not just for Lixie but also for myself too.”

Minho nods against his shoulder in understanding.

“You could use some cuddles too, Min. Your hugs are so tense, baby,” Jisung teases as he lets go of the older, who glares back at him.

Jisung swivels back around to the door and Minho uses the opportunity to punch him in the arm.

When Jisung cries out in pain, the older boy quickly pushes him to the side and opens the door himself.

“After you,” he offers, holding the door open for Jisung with a smug grin on his face.

Jisung gapes at him for a second before laughter is spilling out of his lips.

He walks in through the door, hip-checking Minho on the way inside before looking over at his two boyfriends on Felix’s bed.

“What took you guys so long?“ Jeongin calls with a teasing grin on his face.

Jisung scoffs, mouthing ‘Minho-hyung’ to the younger boy and rolling his eyes.

The maknae giggles quietly at him, his eyes following as Jisung shuffles over to the mattress and hauls himself on top of the bed next to him.

“Hey, Pixie. How are you feeling?” Minho calls softly from the door.

Felix simply hums back sleepily, curled up against Jeongin contently.

“How about you, Jeonginnie?“ Jisung adds onto Minho’s question.

“‘M fine. Hungry though,” the maknae mutters, eyeing Minho playfully from the bed.

“Yah! I already made you breakfast this morning,” the older scolds.

Jeongin chuckles.

“Hyung, come join us,” he gestures over to Minho.

The older boy hesitates, making Felix lift his head from Jeongin’s chest to lock eyes with him.

“Don’t you want cuddles?” he teases.

A light smile crosses Minho’s face and he quickly lets the door shut behind him before padding over and joining the other three.

“Cuddles,” Minho mutters quietly as he presses his face against Felix’s shoulder.

The younger boy smiles happily, sweetly petting Minho’s hair as the older lets out a sigh and drapes a leg over Felix’s body.

“Should we-,” Jisung cuts himself off with a yawn, snuggling closer to the maknae on the other side of the bed. “Should we sleep until Channie, Seungmin, Hyunjin, and Changbinnie get back?”

“Yeah,” Felix sleepily agrees.

“…Thanks for being here,” he continues in a soft whisper.

“You guys- You guys make me feel a lot- a lot better,” he gets out in between yawns.

“‘Course, hyung. Love you,” Jeongin murmurs, letting his heavy eyes fall shut as he feels Felix leave a small kiss on his arm.
____________________________________________________________________________

Later when the others arrive home, Minho sits on the counter, letting his feet dangle as he waits for the soup to cook on the stove.

Jeongin had guilted him into making food again. This time for all of the members too since Felix had also sweetly asked if he’d cook seolleongtang for them and Minho couldn't find it in himself to refuse.

Minho scrolls through his phone while waiting for the timer to go off when Seungmin strolls into the kitchen.

The older glances up, seeing the younger in a light blue hoodie that’s bunched up at his wrists, and looks back down at his phone, kicking his feet once again.

Seungmin shuffles over, his hair still damp from the shower, and stands before Minho.

The older boy finally sets aside his phone to look up at Seungmin, letting out a small hum.

Seungmin quirks his lips upward as he grasps Minho’s upper thigh and parts his legs a bit more to settle in between them.

Minho drapes an arm over his left shoulder as his boyfriend snakes his arms around his waist, melting into Minho.

The older hums again, looking down and allowing Seungmin to press a small kiss to the corner of his mouth that makes Minho’s ears burn bright red. Then Seungmin is letting his head fall against Minho’s chest as the older plants a kiss on his forehead in return before resting his head atop Seungmin’s.

“When’s dinner ready?” Seungmin sighs contentedly, his head turned toward the pot on the stove.

“Thirty minutes…about. I set a timer,” Minho replies, tilting his head to rest the side of it on Seungmin’s head briefly before going back to his previous position.

Seungmin nods, making them both giggle as Minho’s head bobs up and down with the movement. Then both of them quiet down, their laughter subsiding as they watch the pot on the stove slowly bubble and fill the kitchen with a rich, savory smell.

“We’ll eat soon,” Minho mutters, patting Seungmin’s side as they relax together to wait for the timer to ring out, letting them know dinner’s done.
____________________________________________________________________________

The timer sounds a few moments later and Minho quickly instructs Seungmin to go find the others while he dishes up. The boy had gone off without hesitation, happy to eat after being tortured with smelling the aroma of the seolleongtang for what felt like hours without being able to eat it.

It was not hours. Minho could confirm. He was the one who actually had been simmering the broth for hours and hours.

While the younger boy went to grab the others, Minho quickly got to work with adding a few slices of beef and radish to the soup. Then he topped everything off with green onions, black pepper, and the fancy sea salt Changbin’s mom had gifted him a while ago.

‘We’re going to be having seolleongtang for months after this,’ Minho thinks to himself. He’s not upset about it though. Even though it did take too much time to make in Minho’s opinion, the seolleongtang tastes incredible and there are so many other recipes Minho can make with it. He’ll just have to talk to his grandma later and make sure the soup will freeze well.

Felix, Jisung, Seungmin, and Hyunjin stroll into the kitchen just as Minho finishes garnishing.

He grabs two of the bowls off the counter and heads over to the dining table, calling out behind him, “Everyone help bring the food out. And Jisung-ah, get the rice too.”

A chorus of “Yes, Minho-hyung’s” and one “Yeah, yeah, Lino,” from Seungmin and the others are bringing over the rest of the bowls.

“Oh! Hyunjin-ah, can you bring over the kimchi too!” the second-oldest calls out, pointing behind the boy.

Hyunjin lets out a hum in acknowledgment, towel still draped over his shoulders as he adjusts the collar of his shirt and turns back around for the bowl. He takes the kimchi, reaching out and also grabbing a pair of chopsticks from a drawer as he heads over to the table.

He sets the bowl down before quickly stealing a bite, closing his eyes in contentment as he munches on the piece of cabbage.

Jisung stops what he’s doing immediately and stares at the boy.

“He’s so good-looking,” he mumbles before glancing to his right and seeing Minho standing to his side.

“Isn’t he so good-looking?” he asks, looking amazing as Hyunjin continues to chew.

Minho nods without a word, the two of them staring at Hyunjin while the other remains completely oblivious.

His hair is still wet from just coming out of the shower and his skin is practically glowing as he eats his bite of kimchi without a care in the world.

Meanwhile, the other two in the kitchen are having a completely opposite reaction.

“Hyunjin,” Felix groans as the boy steals another piece.

“Jinnie, no! We haven’t all sat down yet and we’re missing Chan, Binnie, and IN-ah,” Seungmin scolds.

“Wait-,” Minho finally startles out of his trance of staring at Hyunjin to look over at his other boyfriend. “Where’s Innie? I thought he was in the same room as Lix and Hannie.”

“He was!” Felix pipes up as he walks over to Hyunjin and opens his mouth for the boy to feed him some kimchi.

Seungmin rolls his eyes at him before looking back at Minho.

“He said he was finishing his video and he’d be out in ‘one second’,” Seungmin explains, bringing both his hands up to make air-quotes for emphasis.

Whenever Jeongin said ‘one second’, it usually ended up being anywhere from about five minutes to half an hour.

“We wanted to wait for him to come out to ask Changbin-hyung if he’d eat with us,” Felix adds.

Minho nods in understanding.

Changbin had come home from the company with Seungmin and Hyunjin and then gone straight to his room. According to the other two, Changbin hadn’t spoken more than a few words to them during the ride home and that was only to tell them Chan needed to finish some things and would be home a bit later.

“I’ll go get the maknae. Someone call Chan and ask when he’ll be home. I don’t want the soup to get cold,” Minho huffs before stomping away to Jisung and Jeongin’s shared room.

He hears the others rock-paper-scissors for who gets to call their leader as he makes his way down the hall before pushing open the door.

Jeongin looks up with wide, curious eyes as Minho strides into the room, pausing the video playing on his phone and taking one of his earbuds out so he can hear the second-oldest.

“IN-ah,” Minho glares at the boy. “Why aren’t you in the kitchen? I made food for you.”

Jeongin looks back sheepishly, taking his other earbud out and placing them onto the small bedside table to his left.

“Sorry, hyungie, I was almost done!” he promises.

Minho scoffs playfully, “Let’s go then! It’s time for dinner as soon as Channie gets home.”

The older swivels around and makes it a few steps toward the door when he realizes Jeongin hasn’t made any movements to indicate he’s stood up or even gotten out of bed.

“Innie?” he asks in confusion and sure enough, Jeongin is still rooted in his spot when he turns back around.

“Hyung-,” the youngest groans. “Can’t you bring me there yourself?” he asks hopefully.

Minho stares back at him in disbelief.

“No. I am not going to give you a fucking piggyback ride when it takes you a whole two seconds to get to the kitchen from your room,” he sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose as if this conversation is physically taxing on him.

“And why the fuck not?” Jeongin whines.

Minho lets out an indignant scoff.

“Hyung,” the younger drawls out, stretching the word out as he lounges back against the pillows on his bed.

He holds his arms out again for Minho, a slight pout on his face that he knows Minho can’t resist. ‘I have my hyungs wrapped around my little finger,’ he thinks to himself happily.

“IN-ah,” Minho sighs for the millionth time. “You can use your own feet to walk to the kitchen. It’s only twenty steps away.”

Jeongin groans, a wide smile on his face as he gives Minho the eye, tempting him to give in already and taxi him off to the dining room for dinner.

“Hyung, I’m- I’m tired,” the maknae tries to complain, only his voice comes out more fragile and honest than he had been intending.

Minho’s expression shifts in an instant, concern playing in his eyes as Jeongin looks down at the comforter beneath him in embarrassment.

He winces as a second of silence goes by. He hadn’t meant to be so serious. What he said was true though. The maknae was tired. His body aches and his head is still pounding from the lack of sleep despite the nap he had taken earlier with Minho, Felix, and Jisung.

He’s felt drained from this past week and having to constantly work with barely any breaks while simultaneously worrying about his boyfriends and his own mental wellbeing has been exhausting. Jeongin wishes they had time to all relax together or go on cute dates like they used to or even just collapse in the living room altogether, too tired to do anything more than converse quietly and doze off in one another’s arms. Normally the maknae would never admit that he misses cheesy stuff like that, but he does.

Minho picks up on the way Jeongin’s expression turns sour, a sad look dampening over his features.

“Come on then, Innie. Are you going to get on my back or what?”

The younger’s eyes instantly snap up to Minho in shock as the older boy raises his eyebrows, a tiny smile playing at his features as the maknae continues to blink up at him.

“Jeongin-ah…don’t make me change my mind,” Minho says jokingly, his comment finally spurring his boyfriend into action.

“No, no!” the younger rushes out, scampering across the mattress on hands and knees toward him and reaching out once more.

Minho shakes his head fondly, turning around and backing in closer to the bed. Jeongin climbs onto his back, his thighs bracketing Minho’s waist and arms one-on- the top-of-the-other across his shoulders.

The younger boy giggles out, ‘Thanks, hyung!”

Minho rolls his eyes, making a point to scoff loudly as he starts heading towards the door, but the corners of his mouth quirk up when he feels Jeongin’s wide smile pressing into the skin of his neck as the boy tries and fails to muffle his laughter.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Hyung-,” Felix cuts himself off with a sigh “…We’ll- We’ll be out there if you change your mind.”

Jeongin shoots him a sad half-smile as Hyunjin intertwines their hands. The three of them stand for a moment longer, all hoping for the same thing.

When nothing happens, Hyunjin tugs Felix away from the room and back toward the loud laughter and talking emanating from the kitchen as the others finish setting the table and preparing for dinner.

“He’ll be fine,” Hyunjin mutters to the other two as they emerge from the hallway and walk through the living room.

Felix nods while Jeongin glances up quickly, catching Hyunjin’s eye before looking back down.
____________________________________________________________________________

Changbin listens to them leave, his eyes heavy-lidded as he takes a deep breath in and leans back against the pillows.

His eyes flutter shut as he clutches Gyu to his chest in an attempt to ward off the growing numbness spreading through his body and mind.

Changbin could easily get up and go out to eat with the rest of them. He owes them as much. But he can’t bring himself to care.

Nothing sounds appealing anymore. Even being with his favorite people feels like nothing more than a waste of energy.

It’s not worth it.

Changbin rolls over onto his side, his tired body protesting as his sore muscles ache.

He curls up more into his blankets and buries his nose into the stuffed animal hugged tightly to his chest and breathes deeply.

He wishes he could say that he smells Felix’s cologne or Hyunjin’s cherry lip balm or that stupid vanilla raspberry shampoo Chan uses, but he doesn’t.

Changbin closes his eyes and tries to think of the last time he slept beside one of his boyfriends or hung out with them in his room.

‘Why does it even fucking matter?’ he asks himself. ‘It’s not like they need me.’

Changbin groans into the empty bedroom as he hears the faint bubble of conversation and clattering of silverware coming from the dining room where the rest are eating together.

Every day feels the same. The daytime goes by quickly, too fast and overwhelming for Changbin to feel anything. Then the night comes and every second lasts an hour and lying awake at night has been equal parts painful and exhausting.

The days have all melded together. Changbin isn’t sure how long he’s been like this. How long he’s felt numb, worthless, and bored.

And he doesn’t know how long it’s going to last. How much longer he can take this.

Changbin closes his eyes, yanking up the covers more on his bed.

All his thoughts have tired him out.

He’s been getting tired quickly these days.

Everything feels exhausting. Living feels like a chore.

Changbin just wants some sleep.
____________________________________________________________________________

Minho scans the table, his eyes zeroing in on the two vacant spots where Changbin and the oldest would normally be sitting.

His eyes turn down to his meal and he idly swirls his soup in circles, the mental image of witches brewing potions in a cauldron popping into his mind.

Minho laughs out loud at the thought. The others turn to stare at him but they’re all pretty used to his random outbursts that no one seems too put off by the second-oldest chuckling bizarrely at the end of the table.

‘Maybe I should be a witch for Halloween,’ Minho thinks to himself. All of his costumes are always amazing and well-received by their fans during video calls which he has to give thanks to their stylists for. Nothing will beat Minho’s giraffe outfit though. That’s something the older’s convinced only he could pull off.

“What’re you thinking about, hyung?” Jisung asks in interest, smiling over at the boy from the seat next to him.

Jisung’s been a lot more bubbly since their nap with Felix and Jeongin. It’s probably from doing nothing but resting for most of the day since Jisung didn't have schedules. He was waiting for Chan and Changbin to look over the work he had done for a song so they didn't need him to come in for today.

Minho laughs again, bringing a hand to his mouth as his laugh fades into a content sigh.

“I was just thinking about witches, Hannie. I could be one in October for Stay and I’d get to hit you all with my broom,” he explains happily.

Felix snorts at his reasoning.

“Alright, hyung,” he chuckles, his laughter starting out more high-pitched than usual before dwindling back down to a lower octave as he pats Minho on the back.

The sound has Minho grinning ear to ear, turning his head toward Felix with a cocky smirk, content with the thought of getting to hit his boyfriends in the shins with a witches broom next October if he does indeed dress up as one. The self-satisfied look on his face earns him an eye-roll from Felix before the boy is pressing a sweet kiss to his lips.

Felix pulls back all too soon, Minho chasing his lips before shooting him a glare and pouting down at his soup.

“You’d be a hot witch, Lino,” Jisung chimes in, his eyes barely even focusing on Minho’s for a second before they’re darting off again.

“Do you think they’d let you wear a dress?” Jisung continues.

“Hm,” Minho ponders. “I’m not sure.”

“You’d give Chan an aneurysm,” Seungmin pipes up from next to Felix on Minho’s right.

Hyunjin and Minho both chuckle at his comment.

“He already does that! Anytime we wear anything, Channie’s brain combusts,” Hyunjin exclaims. “Channie-hyung is so in love with us,” he sing-songs.

“Channie-hyung is so what?” a new voice carries through the dorms, the sound of the door slamming closed following soon after.

“Chan!” Jisung cries happily, jumping up from the table to greet his boyfriend as the oldest enters the kitchen with a tired smile on his face.

“Hi, Jisun- g!” the older grunts out as the younger boy practically throws himself at Chan before he can even set his bag or keys down.

The oldest has dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep and there’s a certain tension in his shoulders but his laughter is genuine (although a bit strained) when Felix rushes over from his seat to throw himself at Chan as well.

“Yah! Let the old man eat,” Seungmin shouts from the end of the table, catching Chan’s eye immediately and sending him a teasing wink accompanied by a sweet smile.

“I’ll go warm up your seolleongtang,” Minho says, getting up and moving over to the kitchen while Hyunjin joins the hug and Jeongin rolls his eyes at them.

By the time Minho finishes, Chan is already sitting, his eyes trained down at his arm as he rubs absentmindedly at his wrist while Jisung talks his ear off about the track he had Chan and Changbin look over today.

Minho opens a drawer to his right and fishes out some utensils before lightly clearing his throat, making sure he isn’t too loud to attract anyone else’s attention.

Just as he suspected, Jeongin turns around in his seat to look back at him with curious eyes.

Minho had been counting on that. He smiles gratefully before mouthing to Jeongin, “You okay?”

The younger boy studies his lips for a moment, working out what Minho was trying to ask before his eyes light up when he realizes. Jeongin nods back quickly, shooting him a discreet thumbs up that about half the table notices.

“Hey! What are you and hyung conspiring about?“ Seungmin narrows his eyes playfully.

Jeongin turns back with a smug look on his face.

“Minho-hyung and I are both going to be witches on Halloween!“

“OH MY GOD!” Jisung shouts exaggerated while the others laugh, Chan looking slightly confused since he missed the first half of their conversation as Jeongin giggles gleefully.

Minho shakes his head fondly, walking over to deliver the food to Chan.

His eyes sweep across the table as the older boy thanks him, noticing instantly that Hyunjin has barely touched his meal.

“Jinnie,” Minho whines out. “Why aren’t you eating my delicious food? Am I not as good as the restaurants?” he asks, only half-joking as he eyes the boy up and down trying to work out why he hasn’t eaten other than the few nibbles of kimchi he had earlier.

“No, no, no! I’m sorry, hyung, I just-,” Hyunjin scrambles for words, helplessly flailing with his hands.

“Hey, no…” Minho trails off into a short laugh. “It’s fine, Hyunjin-ah.“

Hyunjin nods, looking down at his food, unsure if he’s going to be able to stomach down the rest of it.

He barely can pay attention to the conversation going on around him as he focuses on having a few more spoonfuls of his seolleongtang.

Just as he manages to swallow the food down, something taps him on the shoulder.

“Turn. You have something on your face,” Minho says, grasping the younger’s shoulder and giving it a little shake.

Hyunjin faces him and watches as the second-oldest precariously leans across the table to reach him again.

“Woah, woah!” Chan hurries up to grasp around Minho's waist as his torso nearly takes a nosedive into the rice and kimchi in the middle of the table.

Felix and Jisung also bring up a few hands in case Minho loses his balance but the older boy is solely focused on taking care of Hyunjin’s issue.

“Aha!” Minho exclaims when he’s finished, smiling down at Hyunjin.

Hyunjin giggles back, the two laughing while Chan shakes his head in mock annoyance, gently leading Minho to sit back down so he’s no longer leaned over two spots on the table to reach Hyunjin at the far right end.

“Oh my, God! Remember that one time when IN-ah was excited about his show getting renewed,” Seungmin starts, grinning from ear-to-ear at the memory that had just popped into his head due to Minho nearly collapsing into the rice and kimchi on the table.

Jeongin lets out a groan, already knowing which time Seungmin was talking about. He puts his hands over his face and lets out a sound halfway between a muffled shout and a garbled moan. Either way, it conveys his emotions perfectly in the moment.

Seungmin giggles before continuing, “He wanted to share the news so he came running into all of our rooms to tell us and when Channie-hyung and Hyunjin weren’t home, he went to go sit on the couch to wait.”

“Oh!” Chan shouts happily. “I think I know which time you’re talking about.”

“Hyung!” Jeongin protests as Chan smirks, the older biting back a laugh as Jeongin grumbles curses under his breath.

“Then what happened?” Minho urges.

“Then…” Seungmin drawls out, rolling his eyes in Minho’s direction as he bites his lip to contain the laugh that wants to escape. “When Channie and Hyunjinnie got home, he ran over to go tell them and ended up ramming into the side of the wall beside the door. So naturally, hyung moved to help. But then, Innie somehow managed to fall on top of Chan, who was trying to help him, and completely squish the ice cream hyung had all in between the both of them.”

“Hey! No! It wasn’t my fault; I tripped over Channie’s feet,” Jeongin tries to protest as the others burst into giggles.

Hyunjin claps his hands loudly as his whole body turns into Jeongin, shaking with laughter.

Felix glances over at him and only starts laughing more, the two making eye contact briefly before bursting into chuckles again.

“It was so gross,” Chan complains, cringing at the memory. “The whole thing was just pressed in between our bodies and it had melted a lot since Hyunie and I walked home. It was fucking horrible.”

The others only laugh harder at that, Seungmin chuckling at Chan’s misfortune as Minho giggles when he catches a glimpse of Jeongin’s face before he hides it once more.

Jisung huffs out a laugh, finding the whole situation highly amusing.

“It was so cute though! You guys showered together afterward and came out looking like wet dogs,” Jisung exclaims.

“YAH! WET DOGS?!” Chan yells back, his face lifting into a smile as he laughs along with the others.

“Mhm! And that was the first time Innie complained about the way you slick back your hair.”

“I don’t do that anymore!” Chan argues back, pouting lightheartedly.

“Like a vampire,” Jeongin laughs out, bringing his hands up to mock Chan slicking back his wet hair.

Jisung laughs even louder at that, the others joining in as well. He remembers how cute the two had looked with messy damp hair and Jeongin pouting while Chan laughed.

His legs bounce fast under the table, so much so that his knees hit the wood above them and the whole table gets jostled suddenly.

Jisung shrieks, putting his palms down flat against the table as if to stop the surface from trembling.

His smile is immediately wiped off his face, looking stricken as he recoils his arms from the tabletop and scoots back in his chair so he's no longer sitting on the edge of it where his knees can knock against the table again.

“Shit, Sungie! Are you okay? That must’ve hurt,” Chan moves a hand underneath the table to rub against his knees which are already starting to feel sore and bruised.

The younger boy blinks with tears in his eyes, the whole table falling silent as they watch him shrink in on himself.

Jisung just nods, guilt coiling in his chest and his mood dropping even though he knows he only did something small and him causing the table to move had only startled the others and that it wasn't nearly enough force to cause any actual damage.

“You’re fine, Jisungie,” Felix pipes up from across the boy, concern playing on his features as he fiddles with the bandage around his left wrist.

“Yeah, it’s okay, Hannie. The table barely moved; don’t be upset,” Minho adds, patting the boy on the back gently.

Jisung still doesn’t look up so Jeongin quickly speaks up.

“Hyungie, no one is mad at you,” the maknae reassures, moving over to press a kiss to Jisung’s forehead.

“Do you need ice, baby?” Seungmin questions as Jeongin continues hovering by Jisung’s seat and gently stroking through his hair.

Jisung shakes his head, sucking in a breath.

“Sweetheart,” Hyunjin sings, laying a hand facing upwards on Jisung’s thigh as he moves down a spot to be closer to the younger.

“Can you turn to me?” he asks gently, placing his other hand on Jisung’s shoulder.

A few seconds pass before Jisung begrudgingly turns and faces Hyunjin, his eyes focused on looking slightly to the left of the other boy instead of directly at him.

“Can I kiss you?” the older asks.

Jisung doesn’t question it, immediately nodding. Their lips connect in a slow kiss as the younger boy breathes in deeply through his nose and shakes slightly against Hyunjin.

“Don’t feel guilty. You didn’t do anything wrong,” the older boy says forcefully once they pull back.

Jisung’s eyes flit over to briefly meet his before he hesitantly replies back, “…Okay.”

“Do you want to go on a walk- to blow off some steam?” Chan suggests, patting Jisung’s knee softly before pulling back.

“Oh- Can I come too?” Hyunjin pipes up, smiling when he feels Jisung finally rest his hand in Hyunjin’s own.

“Yeah, of- of course you can c- come, baby,” Jisung replies before Chan can, his voice a bit off but nonetheless trying to give the other boy a small smile.

“Great!” Chan smiles, placing his spoon down in his bowl and standing up to move over to the sink. “Does anyone else wanna come?”

“You guys have fun! I’m going to go back to sleep right after this,” Felix chuckles, finishing off the last of his soup. “Don’t stay out too late though, okay?”

“We won’t!” Hyunjin quickly agrees.

“What about the rest of you?” Chan calls from the kitchen.

“No thanks,” Minho says. “Innie agreed to help me do the dishes.”

“I- I what?!” Jeongin cries in a panic.

Minho borderline cackles.

“We can discuss our plans for Halloween! Don’t worry, Jeongin-ah,” he placates.

The maknae groans but moves to help the second-oldest clear the bowls.

“I’m going to bed too. I’m tired,” Seungmin says, shifting over into Chan’s empty seat to cuddle up to Felix. “Come and say, ‘Goodnight’ to us when you get back!”

Felix smiles, secretly hoping that means Seungmin will snuggle with him since the others are leaving or busy washing dishes.

“Of course,” Jisung promises, shooting the two of them a soft half-smile.

“Do you need help with the dishes before we leave, Min?” Chan asks politely, walking back over to the table to grab the empty rice bowl and some of the others finished plates.

“No. Innie and I have it handled,” Minho reassures him.

Jeongin’s face lifts into a smile, already working out a way to make Minho do minimal work since he was the one who cooked.

“Yeah, hyung, we got it!” the maknae grins.
____________________________________________________________________________

Felix shuffles out of the bathroom, passing by Jeongin and Minho arguing over who will clean the dishes. He shoots them a smile and giggles when both of them try to involve him in their dispute.

Felix quickly walks away before he can get roped in and pads down the hall, the smile dropping off his face.

He had changed the bandaid on his wrist. The cuts were super sore but once he washed the blood off, they looked like mear scratches. Felix wasn’t sure if he was more hurt from the pain and itchiness or the fact that the lines looked small, red, and insignificant now.

Felix lets out a tiny groan, upset with himself for even thinking these thoughts as he opens the door to Jeongin and Jisung’s room.

He needed to grab his phone from the charger before heading off to his own room but he’s startled out of his thoughts when he sees Seungmin sprawled out on Jeongin’s bed, looking over at Felix expectantly.

“Were you waiting for me?” Felix giggles out.

“Obviously,” Seungmin replies, grinning over at the boy as he waits for Felix to bound over and settle in beside him.

The two of them get comfortable, Seungmin letting Felix wrap around him from behind in a rare show of skinship. Seungmin usually hates (or at least pretends to hate) this kind of thing but having Felix close overpowers his slight hatred of cuddling.

Minutes go by until Felix shifts slightly behind him and Seungmin tenses completely in his arms.

Before Felix can voice his worry, Seungmin asks in a small voice, “Lix?”

Felix furrows his eyebrows and quickly loosens his hold in case he’s made Seungmin uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry, beautiful. Did I do something wrong?” Felix asks in English, barely even registering he switched languages as his worry only increases when Seungmin inhales sharply.

“C- Can you stop putting your hand on my wrist?”

Before Seungmin can even finish his sentence, Felix is removing his arm from its position and gently tapping Seungmin’s shoulder.

“Turn around, baby,” he requests gently.

The younger boy does so and meets Felix’s eyes briefly before dropping his gaze.

“Are you okay? I'm sorry, Seungminnie,” Felix whispers, tenderly pressing a kiss to Seungmin’s forehead when the boy lifts his head toward him.

Seungmin sighs contentedly, the brief anxiety from their previous position dissipating as Felix’s deep voice soothes him.

“Hm. I'm good,” he says, pausing briefly as he takes in another breath and slowly lets it out.

“Would you put your arms around my waist?” he finally asks, his eyes fluttering open to look at Felix, who looks taken aback in surprise before smiling widely at him.

“C’mere,” he grumbles, worming a thigh in between Seungmin’s legs to encourage the boy to shift over more.

Seungmin chuckles at the older boy, making Felix giggle as well.

Seungmin carefully adjusts his position, his head now comfortably resting on Felix’s shoulder while the rest of his body is halfway draped over Felix’s side with their legs intertwined. Quickly, Felix’s arm comes over Seungmin’s back, and the other slips down to hold the younger’s waist.

“Better?” Felix asks softly.

“Better,” Seungmin replies.
____________________________________________________________________________

Every time when he got like this, when the days meshed together and things didn’t feel worth it anymore, Changbin would remind himself that he was needed.

‘I can't leave because someone needs me. They’re counting on me. I have to stay,’ he would think to himself.

And it would help.

But as he hears the footsteps and closing and opening of doors and the quiet buzz of conversation start up from various places around the house, Changbin feels that maybe the members really don’t need him as much as he had convinced himself they did.

Life goes on without him. And Changbin knows he needs the others way more than they’ll ever need him.

He sits up more in bed, Gyu falling off to the side then dropping down to the floor.

Changbin brings his knees into his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around his legs and burying his head into the crook of his elbow.

He misses his boyfriends more than anything but Changbin doesn’t know how to stop pushing them away.

When had he gotten so lost? When had he gotten so far away from the others?

Changbin’s faded into the background and he’s not sure what reason he has to continue going on if everything stays the same.

“I don’t like it here,” Changbin mumbles into his arms, his skin sweaty from laying under the blankets for hours, zoning in and out and catching brief snippets of the others’ conversation from the dining room.

He doesn’t know how long he can go on suffering in his own sorrows with a smile on his face, pretending things are all okay.

Nothing is okay.

Changbin can’t fake it anymore around the members. But even though they’ve all noticed and each and every one of them has asked at least twice in the past week if he’s doing okay, Changbin can’t bring himself to admit that something is wrong.

A sudden laugh rings out in the mostly quiet house.

Changbin perks up at the sound, hearing Minho loudly talking about casting spells on them next Halloween and Jeongin only enabling him further by adding to his ideas. The maknae speaks again but this time it’s too far away and a bit too soft for Changbin to catch before the two are dissolving into chuckles. The sounds of their laughter slowly stop a few moments later as the water in the kitchen turns on again and dishes start clanking, the hum of their continued conversation making Changbin feel lighter before the momentary happiness disappears from his chest.

He misses them so much.

His boyfriends say that they love him and will always be there for him but lately it’s felt like they’re exaggerating.

Changbin isn’t someone who’s easy to love.

His mom used to tell him that he had a “heart of gold”, but Changbin is slowly seeing that a lot of his ‘good qualities’ are what make him dislike himself so much.

He may be passionate but sometimes he gets too into things. He puts so much time and attention into his work that he barely has any energy left to spend time with the people he cares about.

He may be loving and caring to both his family and his boyfriends, but he also sometimes loves too much. His sister has been telling him how happy she has been recently and he loves her too much to burden her with the stupid shit going on in his mind. And his parents have been doing well so he doesn’t want to ruin their happiness by bringing up his own problems. And Changbin cares about Seungmin, Hyunjin, Chan, Minho, Jisung, Felix, and Jeongin so much that he can’t even bring himself to tell them how he’s feeling, that he needs someone, that he doesn’t want to be alive anymore.

He may be laidback and “good-natured” as his sister describes him as but sometimes Changbin fucks up and lashes out. He doesn’t care about making a fool of himself or having fun, and he doesn’t mind when people poke fun at him, but sometimes he gets upset too quickly and doesn’t think rationally. He had hurt both Felix and Chan the most but he knows his other boyfriends are also hurt by the few words he speaks to them and the even fewer times he agrees to spend time with them.

And yeah, Changbin is a super honest person. But then why can’t he even ask the people he loves most to be there for him when he needs it?

Changbin doesn’t know who he is anymore.

He feels as though everything is crumbling around him.

And if his world has broken, where would he find himself?

“Why would people ever care about someone like me?” he whispers into his arms.
____________________________________________________________________________

What is the point of living if everything stays the same?

Changbin has asked himself that question every night for the past month and a half. Or maybe longer.

He’s in the bathroom now.

Changbin isn’t sure how he got here or what time it is currently but it must be late. When he passed by, the kitchen was dark with no sign of his two boyfriends anywhere; the dishes all cleaned, stacked, and put back in their places.

He doesn’t remember getting out of his bed and walking into the bathroom but the door is locked behind him now and Changbin is sitting on the closed toilet seat with his head in his hands.

“My head hurts,” Changbin whispers out for only himself to hear, his voice sounding foreign to his own ears as the still, cold air around him stings his throat.

He’s scared of himself and the thoughts inside his head. ‘I’m not suicidal. I just don’t want to be here anymore,’ he tells himself.

Something wet hits Changbin’s leg and it’s enough to startle him out of his thoughts as more join.

Changbin stares down at his leg and watches as more drops fall, taking a few minutes for the realization to dawn on him that he’s crying.

“Oh,” he breathes out, taping a tear with his pointer finger and dragging it up his leg, watching as it pools with another droplet before his vision blurs when more tears spill down his cheeks.

Changbin didn’t know he could cry anymore.

As more tears stream down his face, a scream clambers up his throat.

He tilts his face up toward the ceiling, biting his lip hard and wishing that he could feel the pain.

“God…” Changbin groans quietly. “I want to fucking die,” he whispers with a laugh as the tears distort the world in front of him and another scream is swallowed down just like the last one.

The boy leans forward as he wipes under his eyes and down his cheeks, brushing away the tears fruitlessly. When his vision is slightly cleared, he reaches out for one of the towels hanging in front of him and yanks it with all his force until it’s pulled off the hook and onto his lap.

Changbin’s hand slips under one side of the material before holding it up to his mouth to bite down on as a sob finally escapes his throat.

He’s shaking, crying his eyes out as he muffles his sobbing into the bathroom towel.

The muted sounds of himself crying only make him feel worse. There’s so much pain that fills his sobs and the grief and helplessness bubbling in his throat only make him cry harder.

“I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna fucking die,” he keeps repeating as he gasps in between sobs.

Changbin doesn’t know where he went wrong. It felt like one day everything was perfectly normal then the next, the world was breaking around him and Changbin was breaking with it.

Nothing brought him happiness anymore. Not his boyfriends. Not writing lyrics or producing. Not his sister. Not rapping. Not his parents.

Everything felt pointless.

Changbin just wants to feel happy again.

He hates being this way. He hates when he lets his thoughts get the better of him. He hates when he can’t be honest with others. He hates shutting people out. He hates missing his boyfriends when they’re right there. He hates not feeling worth it or loved even though he knows so many people care. He hates feeling like he’s not needed. He hates the voices in his head. He hates being so fucked up. And most of all, he hates being himself.

Changbin lets the towel fall away from his face, his hands no longer clamping it to his face as he breathes in harshly through his mouth.

His hands tremble as he turns to the side and rifles through the medicine cabinet.

He finds what he’s looking for immediately and sets the bottle on the sink counter, the pills rattling inside as his hands shake.

Changbin stares at the bottle of pills, remembering when Chan had tried this specific medication to help with his insomnia before giving up due to it making him feel too drowsy and irritable in the mornings. He doubts the older will mind if he uses them; if he finishes the rest of them.

He grasps the pill bottle tightly in his hand before letting his grip loosen and fall away.

He stares down at the floor of the bathroom, the cold tile under his feet suddenly making him shiver.

“I can’t do this,” he squeezes his eyes shut, the statement not even above a whisper. “I can’t live like this.”

He stares back at the bottle and contemplates.

Is he really going to do this? It’s not something Changbin should be unsure about. Suicide is irreversible. He can’t just change his mind halfway through.

But God, Changbin is so fucking exhausted of being alive. He’s drained. He doesn’t want to keep living like this.

‘You can talk to them,’ a small part of his brain whispers just as another part whispers that he deserves to die anyway and everyone would be better off without him. But the first thought makes him freeze, his chest tightening as he ignores the rest of his brain screaming that he should do it, take the pills, no one wants him here anyways.

The members' faces suddenly start flooding into his mind, their smiling, happy faces as they look at Changbin.

The image of his boyfriends has tears falling swiftly down his cheeks once more, a strangled sob choking out from his throat.

Changbin closes his eyes, remembering the day Felix and he had gone on a bike ride together and the way the younger had looked with his hair flying back and freckles on full display in the sun.

He remembers Jisung collapsing against his side on the small couch in their studio when he could barely breathe after laughing so hard when Chan had pulled up a picture of a walrus and compared it to Changbin’s face. He remembers the younger boy’s forehead pressing painfully into his back as he hid behind him, gasping for breath until the both of them calmed down before ending the live and finishing the night with the three of them all cuddled up on the little couch together.

He remembers Minho holding his hand during one of the relay dances and how he couldn’t stop himself from getting flustered that day and how the older had made it a point to continue doing it whenever either of them needed support or a bit of comfort without having to say anything out loud.

He thinks about the time Chan came to him crying in his room because he wasn’t sure if Stray Kids would be able to make it and how the leader had opened up about how scared he was for the future and how much he missed his family. He remembers telling Chan that they could be his family too and how the older had laughter and responded back that they already were.

He thinks about when Jeongin had burst into tears in the JYPE cafe one time while the two were eating lunch together. He thinks about the hug he gave the younger boy and the reassurances he whispered to help him calm down, and of the maknae’s warm body beside him when they slept next to each other the same night.

He thinks about the time he shoved Seungmin to the ground and laid on top of him after dance practice, resting his head comfortably on Seungmin’s chest. He remembers how much the younger had complained and then later, when arms snaked around his waist and held him comfortably there after figuring out Changbin wasn’t having the best day.

He thinks about the concert where Hyunjin had cuddled with him an hour before they were going to start and giggled at Changbin, telling him that he was cute and messing up his hair by petting it one too many times. The stylists had scolded Changbin for his hair being all messy but that didn’t matter to him as a permanent smile was on his face for the rest of the day that wasn’t just due to their amazing fans.

Changbin’s eyes squeeze shut so tightly that tears gather in the corners of them. He’s unable to tell if he’s crying or not with all the emotions overwhelming him.

“I can’t leave them,” Changbin chokes out.

“But they’d…Wouldn’t they be better off without me?“ he asks into the silence surrounding him.

Changbin shakes his head as if dispelling the thought but he still can’t bring himself to open the drawer and put the pill bottle away.

His lips tremble and her eyes burn as he tries to keep the tears at bay.

His brain is loud, screaming at him that he deserves it. That he should just take the pills and make everyone’s life a little better. Make everyone’s lives a little happier.

Changbin chokes on a cry, his throat burning as he attempts to quell the voices in his head.

He focuses back on the members again, breathing in and out slowly as his thoughts urge him to reach out and grab the pill bottle again.

He thinks of the vanilla-raspberry scent of Chan’s hair, the three-in-one shampoo, condition, and body wash that the leader loved to use so prominent even hours after a shower.

He thinks of how clumsy Jeongin is. The younger is always knocking into something or someone and even though it’s caused some accidents and someone getting hurt on occasion, there’s something so endearing about it.

He thinks about Minho’s long eyelashes and the way they fluttered against his cheek the one time Changbin had hugged him in a hotel during tour when they both reminisced about eating yubuchobap, both missing more than just the food in Korea.

He thinks about Seungmin’s journal that he used to write in every night during trainee days and now still writes in weekly to share how the week had gone or to get anything off his chest if a day had been particularly long or hard.

He thinks about Hyunjin’s disgust toward certain foods and how he reacts every time someone even mentions onions or eggplants.

He thinks about Jisung’s love for cheesecake, tears stinging at his eyes as he thinks about how happy his boyfriend gets whenever they go to a place that sells cheesecake or one of them brings some
home for them to share.

He thinks about the taste of Felix’s brownies and how cute it is to watch the younger work his magic in the kitchen then share his food with everyone.

Changbin’s breath catches as he continues forcing his mind to think of one small thing about the people in his life.

He thinks about his friends, his sister, his parents, and even people that are no longer with him or friendships that had ended on bad terms or relationships that Changbin no longer had.

He tries to pick out one detail as his breathing slowly calms down and the stinging in his eyes stops.

Changbin blinks his gaze back into focus, shifting uncomfortably on the lid of the toilet. His muscles and joints are stiff. He hadn’t realized how uncomfortable his position was while he was zoning out.

The boy winces painfully as his neck cracks, straightening out his back and unclenching his fingers from the towel laying discarded on his lap.

‘How long have I been sitting here?’ he wonders.

He wipes at the tear tracks down his face before tilting his head to the side.

His eyes lock with the bottle of pills and he lets out a sigh.

“Fuck. I can’t do this, can I?“ he mumbles under his breath.

Minutes tick by as he sits in silence once more, thinking things through as he zones out again.

Time feels as though it’s slowed down. The whole world seems to take a pause as Changbin contemplates what would happen if he took his own life.

Changbin wishes he could feel sad that he would miss so many things if he went through with it.

He wishes he could feel sorry for wanting to leave his family behind.

He wishes he could feel mad at himself for even thinking about doing something as selfish as killing himself in the first place.

But Changbin doesn’t feel anything but exhaustion and overwhelming desperation to make it all stop.

Changbin takes a deep breath, his eyes flitting closed as he uses the rest of his willpower to open the drawer under the sink back up and carefully place the bottle of pills in its rightful place.

The action has tears suddenly spring into Changbin’s eyes again, his energy seeping out of him as he closes the drawer.

He burrows his face into his hands as the tears fall, the pain in his chest feeling unbearable as he feels the devastation hit him once the pills are out of sight.

He cries into his hands, talking to himself quietly in between sobs.

“It’ll be okay,” he whispers desperately, trying to convince himself as best as he can as more teardrops stream down. “It’ll a- all be fine. It’ll all be okay.”

“I-,” he struggles for air. “I’m g- going to be…okay. I’m- I’m going to stand up- an’- and I’m going to go to- bed.”

Changbin’s whole body is trembling, his head falling forward, the backs of his hands pressing against the bare skin of his thighs as his back bends uncomfortably.

“I’m just going to g- go to bed. I can think about this m- more in the…in the morning. I’m just going to go to bed,” he whispers, his voice getting high-pitched at the end as his mouth parts around a silent scream.

Changbin unsteadily gets to his feet, repeating these words over and over to himself.

“I’m tired,” he states in as firm of a tone as he can muster, ignoring how his voice shakes and wobbles. “I’m tired so I’m going to bed.”

He’s going to take it one day at a time and slowly work to get better but right now, Changbin can’t deal with thinking past staying alive just for tonight. He steels himself as he walks toward the bathroom door, unlocking it slowly and persistently inhaling and exhaling methodically until his breaths become more normal.

It’s funny how time seemed to stop as soon as Changbin had entered the bathroom, but now that he’s unlocking the door, it seems as though the world has been continuing on without him.

The whole house is shrouded in darkness except for a faint light coming from somewhere past the kitchen.

Changbin sniffles, hiking up the side of his sleep shirt and dabbing at his puffy eyes.

He lets out a sigh before forcing his feet into motion, heading toward the light likely emanating from the living room.

Sure enough, when Changbin arrives, the lamp next to the couch is shining brightly, illuminating Chan’s face as he sits crisscrossed on the sofa, headphones clamped tightly over his ears and face shoved inches away from his laptop.

The younger boy pauses at the entryway to the living area and observes the leader’s creased brow and wrinkled forehead as he works.

Chan pulls away from his laptop seconds later, his head falling back against the cushion behind him as a frustrated groan leaves his lips. His head snaps back up and his eyes immediately jump over to Changbin.

“S- Shit! Bin?” Chan hisses, eyes squinting in the darkness.

The leader places a hand over his chest as the boy steps closer, his heart beating erratically at the sudden scare.

“H- Hi, hyung,” Changbin whispers back hoarsely. “I’m sorry for uh- startling you.”

Chan sighs, “It’s fine, Changbin-ah. What are you- What are you doing up?”

He gestures for Changbin to come closer, curious eyes sweeping over his form and picking up on the redness of the younger’s eyes even in the dim light and the slight shake and tremble of his body as he moves.

“I- Hyung-,” Changbin gulps, settling onto the couch beside Chan.

The leader uncurls his legs, stretching them out and scooting a bit closer so that his thighs are pressing against Changbin’s.

He waits for the other to speak, knowing not to pressure the boy after having known
him for years.

“…Hyung, can I tell you something?”

Changbin’s eyes are tired but pleading as he looks over at Chan, his whole body slumping in on himself as if completely drained.

“Anything,” the older whispers.

Changbin’s eyes search his for a moment, his jaw tense before his face crumples and he turns away.

Their sides press together as Changbin starts speaking, Chan never talking once or interrupting him but subtly reminding Changbin that he’s there for him when the boy stutters or finds himself close to tears again.

The honesty with which Changbin speaks breaks his heart but Chan’s grateful that he’s finally opening up to him.

Changbin finally finishes and Chan just nods in a sad understanding because God knows he had been there before.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“…Just you being here is enough.”

Chan says nothing, understanding that Changbin means more than just Chan being here right now in this moment because he has felt the same way plenty of times before.

He would be lost without Changbin.

And Chan can confidently say that they saved him.

Every single one of his members saved him.

Their group saved him.

Changbin saved him.

And that's more than he could ever ask for.

So with that thought on his mind, he gently taps Changbin’s side, the younger blinking at him sporadically as he yawns for the second time in a row.

His sad eyes focus on Chan, the younger feeling tired and worn out.

“C’mere,” Chan whispers softly, his voice gentle.

Their legs slot together and their bodies entangle to fit perfectly against each other despite the height difference.

It is a bit uncomfortable on the couch. Okay, it’s very uncomfortable on the couch. But as their breathing evens out and their breaths align and Chan snuggles in closer to the younger, Chan and Changbin wouldn’t have it any other way.

suicide hotlines

Chapter Text

The pitter-patter of the shower welcomes Jisung as soon as he steps into the bathroom. The steam from the water warms his face as he brushes his teeth, condensation running down the mirror.

He bares his teeth at his reflection, pulling a weird face and narrowing his eyebrows at himself in the mirror.

Jisung hears laughter ring out from his left and quickly turns to see part of Hyunjin’s face peeking out from the curtain hanging in front of the shower.

He grins with his mouth still full of toothpaste, causing the older to let out a loud, horrified shriek.

Jisung nearly chokes as he lets out a stifled snort at the sound.

He quickly leans over the sink and rinses out his mouth to prevent any of the toothpaste from being sucked down his throat accidentally.

Jisung glances over to the shower again and sees Hyunjin is no longer in view. He looks back at his reflection, hearing the other start humming a small tune under his breath.

The mirror in front of him is slightly fogged up from
the heat of Hyunjin’s shower so he leans forward to draw a smiley-face, giggling softly.

Jisung sweeps his hair out of his face before spinning on his heel and walking over toward the shower.

“Honey!“ he calls, a smile pulling at his lips and a bright laugh escaping him when Hyunjin appears again from behind the curtain.

“Goodmorning,” Jisung sing-songs.

Hyunjin pulls the curtain more to the side so Jisung can properly see his face before responding, “Goodmorning, honey.”

The wide smile on Hyunjin’s face and the happiness dancing in his eyes makes Jisung’s smile only grow.

He quickly strides closer and yanks the curtain fully to the side.

The older boy yelps as his body is suddenly exposed to a rush of cool air but before he can say anything, Jisung’s hand is at the back of his neck.

“Hi,” the other giggles quietly.

Hyunjin looks up and meets his eyes as Jisung slowly leans in.

“Hello,” the older boy responds breathlessly.

Jisung lets out a small chuckle before connecting their lips.

The water from Hyunjin’s hair drips down onto Jisung’s cheeks as he tilts his head to the right and Hyunjin nearly stumbles forward into the kiss.

“You’re so pretty, baby,” he mutters against the older’s lips.

Hyunjin immediately flushes, pulling back to ask in a soft voice, “Really?”

Jisung nods and grins back at him.

“You’re pretty too, Sungie,” Hyunjin smiles.

The younger boy laughs shyly, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. This makes Hyunjin chuckle at him before hooking a finger under Jisung’s chin to pull him back into a kiss.
____________________________________________________________________________

Hyunjin exits the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his torso and his hair only halfway dried.

Jisung and him had ended up singing into the hair dryer for at least ten minutes that Hyunjin could’ve spent drying the rest of his hair. Jisung was the one who started it, hearing Hyunjin humming under his breath had prompted a small duet between the two of them before it fully progressed into them screaming the lyrics to several songs despite Jisung forgetting most of the lyrics.

Hyunjin huffs out a laugh, remembering when his boyfriend had sung the entire chorus of one song incorrectly then tried to claim that Hyunjin was the one who had gotten the words wrong.

He’s interrupted from his thoughts when a door opens to his left and Minho nearly comes barreling into him.

“AH!” Hyunjin shrieks, his hands flailing around, unsure of whether to push him away or try and steady him in case he falls.

He quickly makes up his mind, arms coming up to encircle Minho’s waist and pressing him against his chest as he stumbles fully into him.

Minho lets out a muffled scream against Hyunjin’s shoulder.

‘Maybe I hugged him a little too tightly,’ Hyunjin reasons, quickly loosening his grip on the poor boy.

“H- Hyunjin,” Minho says breathlessly, panting from colliding with the boy.

Before the younger can respond back, he hears Seungmin’s loud laughter and turns to see him in the doorway of the room Minho just spilled out of.

The second-oldest groans, wrapping his arms around Hyunjin and nosing at his neck to hide himself away from Seungmin.

Hyunjin looks down in confusion at first before Seungmin looks pointed down to where Hyunjin’s torso would be if Minho wasn’t latched onto him.

He follows his gaze downward and before he can even connect the dots, he notices how warm Minho’s ears have become. They’re bright red and the older’s neck seems to be a bit flushed as well.

He’s just about to ask if the older’s okay when Minho pulls back, his left arm loosely holding Hyunjin’s fingers between his own. His eyes then land on Hyunjin’s face before slowly dragging downwards.

“YAH! H- HYUNG!” the other yelps, his eyes wide as he crosses his arms over to his chest to cover himself more.

He feels his face burn as Minho chuckles.

“Hyunjin-ah,” the older whines, grinning evilly as he moves in closer to the younger.

“NO! No. Hyung-,” Hyunjin chokes out, embarrassment coursing through his veins.

He drops Minho’s hand and quickly scampers into their bedroom, brushing past Seungmin and practically shoving the boy out of the room.

The door slams behind him and he can hear Seungmin cackling from the other side.

“I JUST WANTED TO LOOK AT YOUR ABS,” Minho calls out after him, pouting as he looks to Seungmin, whose head is thrown back in laughter.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Seungmin mocks.

“Anything I can do to make you feel better, hyungie?” he continues with fake sympathy, stepping forward to rub up and down Minho’s back comfortingly.

Minho tilts his face up to him, his lips puckered exaggeratedly.

Seungmin almost catches himself leaning in before yanking back in disgust.

“Go brush your teeth, hyung. Don’t make me repeat myself a third time.”
____________________________________________________________________________

“HYUNG, WE’RE GOING SOON!” Seungmin calls loudly as he walks back into their room after a silent but comfortable breakfast with Chan and Changbin as they waited for Jisung to finish getting ready.

He shoves open the door and his eyes land on Minho, surprisingly still sound asleep in his bed. His eyes narrow in confusion before the older turns over onto his side and Seungmin discovers that the older is simply on his phone, emphasized by the bright screen illuminating his face.

Minho briefly glances up to the door before groaning and shifting onto his back, his phone raised high above his head as he tilts his neck to see.

“Is that not uncomfortable?” Seungmin snorts, wandering over to Minho’s bed and plopping down at the foot of it.

The other boy gives a noncommittal hum and Seungmin reaches over to brush away a few strands of hair sticking to his forehead, ignoring Minho’s quiet grumbling as he momentarily obscures his view of his phone.

The younger then carefully maneuvers himself until he’s looking directly down at Minho. The other boy briefly glances up, their eyes locking before Seungmin shifts to his side, his feet making contact with the floor as he slowly straightens out the rest of his body.

“…What the hell,” he hears Minho murmur.

Seungmin allows a grin to stretch out across his face before he’s spinning around, bracing his arms on either side of himself, and hoisting his body on top of Minho.

“SEUNG- Seungmin!” Minho’s voice becomes muffled as the back of Seungmin’s head presses harshly against his face.

The younger looks back and giggles at the pained look of displeasure on the boy’s face.

He’s quick to shift slightly so his back is against Minho’s chest and his head is instead pushed back over his shoulder into the pillows instead of compressing his face accidentally.

His phone rolls out of his pocket and onto the sheets beside him during the process, which Minho is quick to snatch up as his own was left squished in between their bodies.

Minho brings Seungmin’s phone up to his face before clasping it in his left hand and thrusting it over into the younger’s face.

“It’s not going to work,” Seungmin giggles as the photo ID to unlock his phone keeps denying access and prompting Minho to input the password.

Despite his words, the older continues trying before Seungmin rolls his eyes and grabs the phone to put in the password himself.

Minho laughs delightedly and grapples for the phone again before holding it above himself and beginning to go through it.

Seungmin huffs out a laugh, turning his face more to see the random shit the older pulls up on his phone.

He knows there’s nothing Minho is actually looking for on it. The older is simply trying to annoy him and would never invade Seungmin’s privacy, staying away from the younger’s notes app and various messaging apps.

He’s currently scrolling through Seungmin’s Instagram feed when the younger switches around so their fronts are pressed together and leans closer to tap the phone too.

“HEY!” the older cries as Seungmin goes faster and faster before snatching Minho’s fingers away from the phone.

The older glares up at him, letting the phone be taken from him as he pouts, looking disgruntled.

Seungmin’s gaze drops down to his lips immediately.

Instead of his eyes traveling back up to Minho’s, the younger boy continues staring.

Minho’s lips part in surprise, causing Seungmin to swallow thickly.

Minho’s own eyes follow the movement before Seungmin is leaning in to tilt the other’s chin so he can give him a kiss on the upper lip.

The older boy lifts his head more to give him a real kiss, their lips meeting for a blissful moment before Seungmin is jerking back.

“W- What?” Minho asks breathlessly, his eyes wide as an involuntary gasp leaves his lips.

The younger’s face twists up for a moment before he’s giving his boyfriend an unreadable look.

“Seungmin!” Minho exasperates, lifting a leg around the boy’s body to kick him lightly with his foot to prompt an answer.

“Go brush your teeth, hyung.”

Minho’s mouth drops open in pure shock as he stares up at Seungmin.
____________________________________________________________________________

He shoves a middle finger in the younger’s face with a scowl adorning his features.

The younger boy only huffs out a laugh, finding amusement in Minho’s antics as he grasps the older’s wrist to point in the direction of the bathroom.

“YAH!” Minho cries in outrage, yanking his hand back and swatting at Seungmin’s chest as he stalks down the hallway toward the bathroom.

“l’ll kiss you once you brush!” the younger boy helpfully reminds.

Minho shoots him a dirty look. “I didn’t want to kiss you anyway,” he growls.

“Yeah, yeah,” Seungmin shakes his head playfully, knowing perfectly well that the older will come back out demanding kisses once his teeth are fully cleaned.
____________________________________________________________________________

“WE NEED TO LEAVE NOW,” Felix yells down the hall.

“I DON’T HAVE MY SHOES ON YET,” Hyunjin shouts from his room.

Felix locks eyes with Jeongin and rolls his eyes.

The maknae chuckles, lifting an arm to place on Felix’s for balance while he laces up his shoes.

“I’m ready!” Seungmin says, strolling up to the door from the hallway to sit and put on his shoes and coat.

“You’re not going to need that,” Felix points out. “It’s getting warmer.”

Seungmin shrugs, tugging on the coat.

Felix nods, muttering, “Fair enough.”

“HYUNGS, SERIOUSLY WE NEED TO GO!” Jeongin calls, nearly tipping over as he loses his balance momentarily.

Felix grips onto his arm tightly to keep him upright, the both of them laughing good-naturedly.

“‘M IN THE BATHROOM,” Minho screams, only it comes out sounding more like “in da bafroom”.

“Oh my God,” Seungmin says in disbelief. “Is he still brushing his teeth?”

Felix bursts into laugher at his comment.

“It’s usually Changbin-hyung who takes the longest to get ready. What the fuck is going on?“ Jeongin questions, his face scrunching with disbelief.

“I’M HERE!” Hyunjin drawls out as he sprints down the hall, this time fully clothed with his hair significantly less wet than before.

“WHERE’S MINHO?” Felix roars, looking exasperated despite the small amused smile on his face.

“I’M COMING!” the older responds.

The others can hear the water shut off before the bathroom door slams open and Minho flies out.

He arrives at the front door panting with his face still damp.

“I’m ready,” he says out of breath.

“Okay,” Felix laughs before pushing open the door.

“COME ON. EVERYONE OUT!” he demands, Jeongin walking out behind him with a laugh and the others quickly following while Minho hops out the door while struggling to put on his shoes.

“WAIT FOR ME!” ____________________________________________________________________________

Although Chan can’t get them a full day off, all of them have their own individual schedules today which means Changbin will be with him and Jisung in the studio for most of the day until they get to go home.

Changbin and him are already settled around the table, Chan messing with the settings on his computer while Changbin lounges back in his chair in silence.

A few more seconds pass then Jisung is bursting through the door with two coffees.

The younger opens his mouth to speak before being cut off by Changbin.

“Hi, Jisung-ah.”

His tone is softer and quieter than normal but he’s trying.

Changbin will try for Jisung.

The other boy’s eyes widen before he smiles happily back at the older.

“Hey, hyung,” he greets, setting down the coffees on the table before plopping himself down onto Changbin’s thigh.

The other boy freezes in surprise, placing his hands on Jisung’s waist as the boy hoists himself up so he’s sideways on Changbin’s lap.

“Is this…okay?” Jisung pauses.

Changbin quickly nods back, tightening his hold around the younger’s waist.

“Are you sure?” his boyfriend presses.

Changbin shoots him a look of confusion. ‘Why is he asking again?’

Jisung laughs gently before reaching a hand out to Changbin’s face and sweeping away the tears falling slowly down his cheeks.

The older inhales sharply at the realization that he’s crying, his face growing red with embarrassment as more hot tears trickle down his face.

Jisung doesn’t seem to mind though and Changbin watches him continue to wipe the tears off his face while humming lightly under his breath.

“Thank you,” Changbin manages to choke out as he feels the tears slowly come to a stop.

The younger boy simply hums back, looking down at him in a way that makes Changbin feel so loved that he thinks his heart is going to burst.

He thinks he might be close to crying again with how beautiful Jisung looks right now. With how much love and comfort he’s showing him despite not knowing what had happened last night. With how he’s doing all this just because Changbin was willing; because he finally is beginning to stop shutting them out.

“Hey! Where’s my ‘hello’? First no one gets me a drink and now I-”

“YOU DON’T LIKE COFFEE!” Jisung interrupts, looking at him incredulously, his eyes wide and mouth open as he stares back at their leader.

Chan pauses for a moment, biting his lip before he can’t hold it in any longer and he bursts into laughter, patting Jisung’s thigh apologetically.

“Oh my God,” Jisung slowly shakes his head before he starts cracking up along with the leader.

Changbin looks at the two fondly.

In amidst their laughter, Jisung pulls Chan’s chair closer by the arm rest, causing the boy to fly backwards until he’s aligned with Changbin’s chair.

“Yah!” Chan cries out in surprise.

Jisung giggles at his expression before turning his head to kiss the other on the cheek.

The older’s cheeks flush and his eyes nervously flit over to the door before he’s bringing up a hand to Jisung’s jaw and leaning in for a real kiss.

Changbin watches as their eyes flutter closed and their lips fit together, and feels a smile tugging at his lips.

The two pull away, looking into each other’s eyes before Chan has his eyes locked with Changbin’s.

“Binnie,” he whispers, his voice halfway between a whine and a groan.

Changbin reaches out a hand to fist Chan’s shirt and pulls the boy even closer, the wheels on the chair making a small squeaking sound.

The oldest slides a hand up to the back of Changbin’s neck before it trails downward to his collar to yank him forwards.

The leader looks into his eyes and Changbin nods.

His eyes flutter closed as their lips meet.

Chan sucks on his bottom lip, latching onto it and gently pulling. Changbin lets out a content sigh, his hands sliding behind the older’s neck and pressing him closer.

Changbin uses his leverage on the back of Chan’s neck to deepen their kisses before the oldest is struggling to breath in between them and has to push him away.

“Fuck,” Changbin gasps when they part, his eyes wide as he looks at his older boyfriend.

“I love you, Bin,” Chan murmurs, caressing the side of his face gently.

Changbin’s eyes well with tears as he nods.

“I- love you too,” he sniffles.

“You guys are too cute,” Jisung smiles.

Chan chuckles, leaning in to peck Jisung’s nose.

“Love you too, Sung.”

Jisung smiles, shifting on Changbin’s lap to lay his head on his shoulder.

He turns to kiss softly at the older boy’s neck.

Chan watches with fond eyes as Changbin relaxes into the kisses, wrapping his arms around Jisung’s waist with a small smile adorning his features.

‘Everything’s going to be okay,’ Chan thinks to himself.
____________________________________________________________________________

It’s around four in the afternoon when the door opens and five people are quickly shuffling into the room.

“We’re here to get you to stop working!” Hyunjin announces proudly, slinging an arm over Jeongin’s shoulders.

Chan and Changbin look up to see their boyfriends standing in all their glory at the door. All of them are in sweaty, workout clothes from dancing; a few of them still chugging water and out of breath.

“…We were actually just packing up,” Chan replies.

“Oh,” Minho says eloquently as he registers the two already standing up with their bags halfway packed.

Changbin chuckles, the corners of his mouth raising into a smile as he finishes putting his notebook away.

The others look up in surprise at the sound, grins lighting up their faces immediately. None of them have seen Changbin so much as smile in the past weeks.

Changbin glances up after zipping his bag and feels his cheeks flush as he sees the others all gazing back at him. He quickly looks back down but can’t help the way a spark of happiness lights up in his chest. ‘They love me,’ he thinks proudly to himself.

“Wait. If you both are ready then where the hell is Jisung-ah?” Felix raises an eyebrow.

Chan snorts at his question and gestures to the couch over to his right.

Felix’s eyes follow and he huffs out a laugh at seeing the older (by a day) curled into the crease of the couch. His arms are crossed under his head while his chubby cheek is squished against them. His lips are parted and when Felix skips over to the couch, he can faintly hear soft snores spilling from his mouth.

“Aw,” the younger coos, quickly taking out his phone to snap a picture. “Sleeping beauty,” he smiles softly.

“He looks so cute,” Seungmin murmurs, suddenly appearing at Felix’s side and snaking an arm around his waist.

Changbin comes over then and kneels down to gently shake the boy's shoulders.

Jisung doesn’t move an inch.

Felix and Seungmin have to stifle their laughter as Chan quickly strides over to help.

“Han,” the leader calls, siding up next to Changbin as he tucks a strand of Jisung’s hair behind his ears.

Jisung cracks an eye open but quickly closes it and shifts to hide his face more from Chan.

“H- Han?” the older tries again, his voice shaking with laughter when the boy shakes his head against the couch.

“You know what would wake him up?!” Hyunjin sings out from the door, scampering over from where Minho is bothering Jeongin by trying to place a sweaty kiss on his cheek while the poor maknae fights for his life to push him away.

“Binnie’s skinship,” he continues, giggling as Changbin’s head snaps up to look at him.

The older boy shakes his head but can’t help the tiny smile lighting up his features as he presses his lips to Jisung’s temple.

The boy’s eyes open once again and he scowls at being woken up before laying his eyes on Changbin.

A dopey smile replaces his frown, causing the others to burst into laughter.

“What?” Jisung demands, sitting up on the couch and turning his attention to the rest of them.

“Nothing, cutie,” Felix reassures with a chuckle.

“You guys suck,” Jisung pouts back lightheartedly, his voice gruffer from sleep as he slowly rises from the couch.

Chan turns to his boyfriends, shooting them all a grin with dimples on full display.

“Shall we then?”

The others are quick to agree, immediately diving into conversation as they make their way home.

Chapter Text

“What the-”

“Is it still not working?” Chan questions.

“Yeah,” Hyunjin affirms, trying the key in the lock again.

“Here,” Seungmin grabs the key and nudges the older with his hip. “Let me try.”

He twists the key again and the door finally unlocks.

“What?!” Hyunjin cries. “How did you..”

Seungmin turns to grin at him as he pushes the door open and steps into the dorms.

“Magic,” he replies.

The other looks back at him with wide eyes, following him in through the door while Seungmin laughs at his expression.

Jisung quickly toes off his shoes and goes over to stand next to Changbin as the boy works to take off his own.

“Hey, guys?” Changbin hesitantly speaks up as almost everyone finishes taking off their shoes and placing them by the doorway.

He glances over to Chan who nods at him in support.

Everyone’s eyes snap up to his and Changbin gulps nervously.

“Do you think I can talk to you about um- how I’ve been doing?” he finishes unsurely.

“Of course, Binnie,” Seungmin replies gently.

“We can talk right now, hyung! I don’t think we have any other plans for today,” Felix smiles.

“Okay. That’s… That sounds- yeah,” Changbin finishes, his face flushing slightly.

“C’mon, hyung,” Hyunjin says, grabbing the boy’s hand and dragging him over to the couch.

They sit down beside each other and Jisung watches as Changbin leans in close to whisper something to Hyunjin.

“Do you think we could turn the lights off?” Hyunjin speaks up, directing his attention to the rest of them standing by the doorway.

“Yes! It’ll make everything super cozy. I’ll go get blankets too,” Felix says in a rush, running down the hallway to the bedrooms.

“I’ll go help him,” Seungmin shakes his head fondly.

“Me too,” Chan agrees as Seungmin takes off after Felix.

“Wait-,” Minho stops him by hitting him on the chest with a loose fist.

The older turns to him quickly and Minho’s gaze swiftly turns downward.

“Will you get Hae too?” he asks quietly.

“Of course,” the leader smiles before looking back to the couch. “I’ll get Gyu too! And some of Innie’s plushies.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Jeongin smiles as Chan runs off and Minho trots over to the couch to settle in next to Changbin.

Jeongin watches as he goes before focusing his gaze on Jisung, who is watching the three boys on the couch with a smile.

He finishes kicking off his shoes before moving over to the older boy and pulling him into an unexpected hug.

Jisung’s eyes widen momentarily before he hugs their sweet maknae back, relishing in the sudden skinship that he was only awarded with once in a blue moon.

“What was that for?” he asks once the hug ends, practically beaming back at his boyfriend.

Jeongin shrugs, leaning close to kiss Jisung lightly on the lips before sending him a smile and skipping over to the couch.

The other’s grin only grows as he reaches a hand up to touch his lips, feeling them still tingling and slightly swollen from kissing Chan and Changbin in the studio before working.

“I GOT THE GOODS!” Felix roars and the sound of thundering footsteps follows soon after.

Jeongin locks eyes with Changbin from where he sits on the ground by the older’s legs and shoots him a jokingly terrified look, which the older reciprocates immediately.
____________________________________________________________________________

Everyone is settled onto the couch with the lights dimmed. Only a small glow comes from the kitchen where the curtain over the sliding door is pulled to the side to let some light in.

They all feel cozy, cuddled up next to each other with more than enough blankets and stuffed animals littered around them or nearby on the floor.

Jeongin takes Changbin’s Munchlax plushie and hands it up to him on the couch without a word.

The older boy takes a moment to register what he’s holding as his hands come in contact with the soft material before he is looking down at Gyu on his lap.

Changbin can visibly see his hands shake as he grips the stuffed animal.

Abruptly, he stands up, discarding Gyu onto his vacant spot on the couch and marching through the kitchen and straight to the bathroom without another word.

“Shit-,” Chan curses, already getting to his feet.

“I’ll go,” Minho cuts him off, quickly hurrying to the bathroom.

The leader nods and makes to sit down before arms encircle his waist and yank him back.

He lets out a startled yelp, spinning around with wide eyes to see Felix smiling sheepishly back at him.

He shoots the younger a look before another shriek spills from his mouth when Felix pushes him forward and moves down from the couch onto the floor.

“C’mere,” the younger smiles.

Felix settles against the back of the couch and sits cross-legged, his arms reaching up for Chan to settle into them.

The leader chuckles before sinking down to the floor and using his legs to scoot himself back until he feels Felix’s legs behind him.

He unsurely leans back, lacing his fingers together to loop around his knee so he doesn’t completely fall back against Felix’s chest.

The younger is quick to wrap his arms around him so Chan’s head falls back on his shoulder.

Chan finally relaxes into it, finding comfort in the way the other’s arms are crossed over his chest and resting just underneath his chin as Felix presses a kiss into the slightly curly hair on top of the older boy’s head.

“Can I come over too?” someone calls out from the couch.

Felix turns his head to look back and spots Seungmin seated on the very edge of the couch, shifting restlessly as he presses his hands together in between his legs.

The second-youngest cocks his head to the side to emphasize his question. It’s in such an endearing way that Felix has to hold back from audibly cooing.

“Yeah, of course, cutie,” he winks over to him.

Seungmin smiles brightly, moving down from the couch to snuggle against the two, inserting himself in between the couple and the other side of the couch so he’s pressed snuggly in between.

“Is that comfortable?” Chan laughs, observing the way in which Seungmin’s body is situated.

The younger doesn’t reply verbally but sighs with content, resting his head on Felix’s arm.

Chan stifles a yawn, tilting his head to peck Seungmin on the cheek.

Felix looks down at them with a soft smile before directing his attention up to the other three on the couch.

“Wanna join?”
____________________________________________________________________________

Minho enters the bathroom quietly and finds Changbin curled in on himself on the small mat laid out before the shower.

“Hey,” he greets, clearing his throat lightly as he shuts the door behind him.

Changbin glances over at him with tired eyes, giving Minho a small, pained smile.

The older boy swallows thickly, stepping closer to Changbin and dropping down to sit next to him.

His knee grazes the other’s as he settles down beside him.

“I’ll- I’ll go back out in a minute. I just need some time,” the younger speaks up, his voice rough and shaking slightly as he closes his eyes tightly.

Minho nods.

Instead of saying anything more, he reaches down and takes Changbin's hand.

That’s what Changbin does all the time to comfort Minho so the older figures it's his time to reciprocate.

As Minho intertwines their fingers, Changbin glances over to him, a shy smile playing at his lips. And Minho is suddenly reminded of all that time ago when he had sat on his bed with the curtain drawn and the younger boy had crawled in next to him.

Minho remembers how vulnerable and confused he had felt that day and how Changbin had sat with him for some time and waited for him to be ready to talk about what was wrong. Minho had taken his hand then too before finally revealing that he had kissed Seungmin even though he was dating Jisung.

It was one of the first times the older boy had ever opened up to someone and Changbin was there, right next to him, ready to listen.

He didn’t judge Minho or get mad, instead he calmly reassured him that there was no shame in liking both of them and encouraged him to talk to Jisung and work things out.

Minho has never been more grateful for Changbin than that day but as he thinks about it more now, the older has been grateful for every day he gets to have with Changbin in his life.

Minho doesn’t really believe in blessings but he can confidently say that he’s incredibly lucky to have each and every one of his seven boyfriends in his life.

Minho wouldn’t want to spend his days with anyone else.

A squeeze on his right hand pulls him back to the present, blinking sporadically as he glances over to Changbin.

“I think I’m ready now,” the younger whispers.
____________________________________________________________________________

“Is Seungminnie okay?” Changbin asks softly as he enters the room, hand gently clasped with Minho’s as he looks on in concern.

The other’s eyes snap up and Jisung is immediately jumping to his feet to lead the other two to their cozy spot on the ground.

Minho doesn’t understand why they couldn’t just continue sitting on the couch but he chooses not to question it as there are a bunch of blankets and plushies thrown about making everything look more than comfortable.

Changbin is quickly led to sit down before Jisung plops down next to him and throws a leg on top of Changbin’s own.

“Puppy?” Changbin asks again.

“‘M comfy,” the younger replies, hiding the bright smile tugging at his lips as he hears the nickname.

“Okay,” the older responds back with a laugh as Minho sits down next to him and gestures for Hyunjin and Jeongin to move closer until the youngest is in Minho’s lap and Hyunjin’s head is resting on his shoulder.

“Bin,” Chan murmurs, passing Changbin’s stuffed animal to him and dropping it in between his slightly spread legs when he doesn’t reach out and grab it himself.

Changbin stares down at Gyu, feeling his heart ache as he finally picks it up and hugs the plushie tightly to his chest.

Chan also passes over Hae for Minho as well as two of Jeongin’s plushies for the two boys at the end while the rest get given to Jisung or pushed further away.

Minho hums gratefully, letting the maknae play around with his stuffed animal and Minho’s on his lap.

Changbin watches them contentedly with a smile.

Felix finally clears his throat a little, reaching past Jisung to put a hand on Changbin’s shoulder.

The older boy looks up and sees Felix’s reassuring smile, his eyes searching Changbin’s.

The other feels a sudden squeeze of anxiety in his chest before he takes a calming breath and hugs Gyu even tighter to his body.

“I want to tell you guys about what… what happened last night,” he breaks off with a sigh, feeling ashamed. “I haven’t been the best boyfriend or uh- even friend in general…or group member. And I’m so fucking sorry. I’m not trying to make excuses but I want to be honest with you about h- how I’ve been doing.”

“Binnie…It’s okay, baby,” Jisung replies honestly, pulling an arm across his shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“Yeah!” Hyunjin pipes up. “Hyungie, we love you so much. No one’s expecting you to be one hundred percent all the time. We want to be here for you when you’re feeling happy and when you’re feeling down, sweetheart.”

Changbin nods, hearing the honesty in his boyfriends voices as he kisses the top of Gyu’s head absentmindedly.

“I don’t- I don’t know what happened-,” he cuts off, blinking back the tears filling his eyes. “I feel so bad because nothing’s really…wrong. And I feel- I’ve been feeling so bad. It felt like I couldn’t breathe every day. And it was so- so hard- to be alive.”

Minho tenses up next to him while Jeongin and Jisung look over with wide eyes.

Hyunjin feels his entire body shudder at his words. He can hear the pure pain filling the older’s shaky voice.

Felix can feel his own eyes start glistening with tears as he tightens his arms around Chan, securing him close to his chest. Chan, in turn, grips onto the younger’s arm with a hand to keep himself grounded.

Seungmin can feel his heart freeze in his chest as he lifts his head to look over at Changbin.

“My mind keeps whispering that I deserve to die. That I don’t deserve to be here. That it would be better- better without me here,” his voice dwindles down to a whisper.

Tears stream down his face as he finally lets all his emotions bubble to the surface, a pained whimper leaving his lips as his eyes slip closed.

He breathes in shakily, no one speaking as they give him time to feel his emotions and compose himself enough to talk.

“Is this- Is this still okay? I don’t want to- say anything m- more if you guys aren’t in a good- in a good headspace to hear it. I don’t want to h- hurt you if it’s too much,” Changbin checks, opening his eyes with a sniffle to look over at his other members.

“I’m okay, Changbinnie. It isn’t too much,” Minho mumbles, placing a hand on Chnagbin’s thigh.

Everyone else voices their agreement.

Finally Changbin lays his eyes on Chan, the only one who hasn’t said anything.

“Hyung-,” his voice breaks in the middle.

Chan looks over at him and Changbin is surprised to see his red-rimmed eyes and the wetness on his cheeks.

The leader reaches over to take Changbin’s hand in his own.

They make eye contact and Chan nods at him to continue.

“Okay?” Changbin asks.

“Very,” Chan squeezes his hand.

Despite the small strain on the older’s wrist, their hands stay together, Chan appreciating the small amount of contact more than he could ever voice into words.

“I kept thinking about how much pain I’ve caused and I would tell myself that none of you actually love me,” Changbin continues after a brief moment of silence.

Seungmin makes a small sound from his right, shaking his head rapidly. ‘That’s not true,’ he thinks, his breath stuttering audibly as he tries to hold back the sobs that want to rise in his throat.

Changbin squeezes his eyes shut. “Even though- Even though I know that’s not true, I started to- to convince myself that it was. That you guys were exaggerating. Because who- who could love someone like me?” he starts crying softly.

Seungmin finally can’t hold back, the sob ripping from his throat. The sound startles everyone.

“Minnie?” Felix asks, softly carding his hands through the boy’s hair as his body shakes with soundless cries.

The younger carefully gets up, Chan quickly grasping onto his hand as his feet shuffle unsteadily over to Changbin before dropping down onto his lap.

“Fuck-,” Changbin exhales in shock as he feels Seungmin’s trembling arms wrap loosely around his shoulders and his face burry into the older’s neck.

“Oh- Puppy,” the older boy continues sympathetically, patting him on the back when Seungmin lets out a small cry.

The younger boy brings an arm up to his mouth and bites down onto the fabric.

Changbin quickly removes the stuffed animal pressed between them and pushes Seungmin closer to his chest. The older boy brings an arm up over his shoulder while the other encircles his waist.

“L- Love you,” Seungmin forces the words out. The ones he’s been wanting to say for months now. “I- I love you, hyung.”

Changbin can feel his heart break as the boy goes quiet once more, the only sign that he’s crying still being the hot tears that dampen Changbin’s t-shirt.

“I love you too,” the older boy whispers though everyone hears it.

Changbin’s never been good at regulating his volume.

“I know it- I know that it hasn’t really seemed like I d- do but I promise-”

“We know,” Chan cuts him off. “We all know you haven’t been feeling good. You’re not being selfish for…”

The leader sucks in a breath, turning away before anyone can see his tears.

“…Not wanting to be here anymore,” Changbin finishes in a small voice.

“Hyung, do you really-. Do you really not want to be here any- anymore?” Jeongin pipes up, abandoning the stuffed animals on his lap as he turns his gaze over to Changbin.

Changbin looks into his eyes and stutters out, “I don’t- I don’t know.”

“I wanted to so badly last night,” he continues, squeezing his eyes shut at the sounds of crying coming from the boy on his lap as well as Chan, Jisung, Felix, and Hyunjin. “I was so- so ready to go but I couldn’t bring myself to… I don’t even know if I would have done it. I was so close but I kept thinking about you- you guys and my- my family and friends. And I know it’s not okay for the only reason for me to st- stay alive is because of other people but I honestly- I don’t think I could’ve left you.”

He finishes just as his throat closes up and he can no longer speak from the overwhelming swarm of emotions as tears stream down his cheeks. Everything he said was true. He doesn’t know if he would’ve done it. He doesn’t know if he could’ve brought himself too. He felt so near to simply swallowing those pills and praying that he wouldn’t wake up again but now, thinking back, he doesn’t know if he could have ever mustered up the courage.

He doesn’t want to leave his members. He doesn’t want to leave everything he has now. But Changbin still hates being alive. He hates the thought of having to continue to struggle through life. He hates that he’s going to have to try to get better and find a will to live that isn’t solely based on the fact that he doesn’t want to hurt his family or have to part from his boyfriends.

Changbin forces himself to speak through his tears.

“That’s- That’s all. I just wanted to let you- you know. I didn’t want to keep you guys in the dark. And Channie- Channie and I were talking last night and I’m going to find ways to help so I don’t- I don’t get to that point again,” he sobs. “I want you all to be involved in that. …I want to stop shutting everyone out,” he ends.

“Thank you, hyung,” Felix chokes out, resting his head on Jisung’s shoulder to peer over at him through blurry eyes. “Thank you for telling us.”

Changbin nods wordlessly, letting his eyes slip shut and his head tilt back onto the couch cushion behind him.

He feels another weight by his side and already knows without opening his eyes that Jisung is cuddled up against him with his arm slung over both him and Seungmin.

He senses someone else moving beside him and squints his eyes open to see Jeongin shifting over to curl up on his other side, resting his head on Changbin’s unoccupied shoulder.

“We’ll get you the help you need, baby. We’re all here for you. I promise, okay? You’re not alone, Binnie,” Jisung murmurs softly, sending a small smile Changbin’s way.

Minho clears his throat from beside him and Changbin looks over to see him clutching into Hyunjin’s hand tightly.

“I’m not going to pretend like I understand what you’re going through. But I want you to know that you can always talk to me- talk to us,” he swallows.

“Is there anything we can do right now?” Jeongin asks quietly.

“I think um- In the bathroom, there’s a lot of pills,” he winces, unsure of how to continue his sentence. “If you could throw away the ones that you aren’t- aren’t using anymore. And I also- I’m- I feel…”

He trails off awkwardly, feeling his stomach churn.

Seungmin pulls back and whispers, “Are you scared to be alone right now?”

Changbin nods back wordlessly. It’s like Seungmin can read his mind sometimes.

Seungmin has stopped crying but Changbin can still feel his heart clench with guilt at the younger’s swollen and puffy eyes.

“It would be good to have someone always with you. And if you need space then we can have check-ins,” Chan suggests. “That way we know you’re safe and you know that we’re here if you need us.”

Changbin nods gratefully.

“I would like that.”

“I’m happy you told us,” Hyunjin speaks, moving closer to let Minho crawl onto his lap. “I’m glad you’re here,” he says simply, a wobbly smile on his face while his eyes remain glossy with tears.

‘Me too,’ Changbin wants to say. But he isn’t sure what’s a lie and what’s the truth anymore.

He’s going to reply when he’s interrupted by his stomach growling.

Changbin’s head whips back up in embarrassment.

“Hungry?” Chan asks with a laugh.

“Yah! I didn’t eat dinner yesterday, hyung. Don’t be mean to me, babe.”

The leader can feel his smile falter at his words but he forces himself not to think about it too much.

“We need to get some food into you then, huh?” Felix chuckles, gently tickling Changbin’s sides.

The boy lets out a small giggle that has everyone’s hearts melting slightly at a laugh that they’ve all missed so much.
____________________________________________________________________________

The rest of the evening is spent standing quietly in the kitchen together.

Everyone had been too lazy to cook food but they had too many groceries in the fridge to simply order out.

No one bothered to turn on the lights but they all helped to make the kimchi fried rice for dinner.

Although, in the end, it was mostly only Chan and Jisung helping Minho and Felix in the kitchen while
the others simply hovered near them. Close enough to breathe in the smell of home while fingers carded through hair and hugs and soft kisses were shared between all of them.

Even as they all ate, they stayed standing in the kitchen.

The eight men all leaned into each other for support until they felt like they could relax and smile properly again, the silence slowly tapering into low conversation about future plans and things they want to experience together.

And as they all went to bed that night with Felix and Hyunjin encompassing Changbin’s sides and the doors of all the rooms wide open in case one of them needed comfort, the lights never got turned on.

The dim orange glow from the kitchen shown faintly from the hallway as silence pooled around them as Changbin got wrapped safely in his boyfriends’ arms.

Chapter Text

“Good morning,” Seungmin greets, checking the time on his phone to confirm that it is indeed still morning.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Chan asks with a grunt.

He shuffles over to the cabinet and pulls out a glass, shoving the cup under the faucet then quickly downing the water. He repeatedly clears his throat, the gruffness from sleep still somewhat present in his voice.

“Wanted you to sleep,” Seungmin shrugs. “You and I don’t have to be at the company for another hour.”

Chan furrows his eyebrows, looking over at the younger with a slight frown.

“Everyone’s left already?”

“Yeah. I was going to wake you up soon. You needed the sleep though; you’ve been working nonstop.”

The leader grimaces at his words. He wants to protest but Seungmin is right.

“I made gyeran-jjim,” the younger smiles, pointing over to the stove.

“Really?” Chan gasps, hurrying over to the pot on the stove and making a happy little sound as he sees the food and quickly dishes up some for himself.

The younger shakes his head fondly, watching as the older takes a bite and moans in satisfaction.

“It’s so delicious,” he drawls out, collapsing into the chair across Seungmin.

“I’m glad you like it,” the younger boy snorts. “It’s super easy to make.”

Chan doesn’t say anything in reply, his eyes closed in happiness as he eats the warm food.

Seungmin holds back a laugh, looking back down at his phone as he periodically takes sips from his water.

He’s peacefully scrolling through guitar tabs and random covers coming up on his feed when he feels the room grow suspiciously quiet. Usually, the older would be making conversation with him or be interested in what Seungmin was looking at on his phone.

The younger glances up at Chan inconspicuously and startles when he sees the tears running down the leader's face while he eats.

Seungmin doesn't say a word, knowing Chan doesn’t like them to worry about him. He continues looking down at his phone though he couldn’t care less about guitar right now.

Chan’s head drops and he starts sobbing harder, his hands shaking as he places his spoon down.

Seungmin shoots him a worried look, quickly standing up from the table.

Chan startles at the sudden movement, looking up at the younger with watery eyes.

The other boy doesn’t notice his gaze and walks into the kitchen, throwing the rest of the food he didn’t eat away and opening the freezer to pull something out.

Chan feels loneliness hit him square in the chest and he’s pulled back to the countless nights he spent alone as a trainee, crying until he couldn’t breathe because he wasn’t sure if he was going to make it. He’s reminded of the way his mind toyed with the terrifying thought that leaving all his friends and family behind hadn’t been worth it.

The leader vaguely registers the beep of the microwave coming from the kitchen before footsteps grow louder towards him.

“Felix’s cookies,” Seungmin says, slapping one down on a napkin in front of Chan on the table.

“I stole two and froze them so they’d stay good. I was saving them.”

“S- Saving them for what occasion?” Chan sniffs tearfully.

“I was saving them for someone to share them with,” Seungmin says, settling down in his chair before reaching over from his spot to move the cookie closer to Chan as he munches on his own. “…Or just to eat myself.”

“Thank you,” the leader whispers back gratefully.

The younger simply nods back, muttering a small, “Eat.”
____________________________________________________________________________

Jeongin subtly gasps for air as they hold the last move, the music slowly fading before he collapses on the floor.

He’s panting hard. They’ve been going over this same choreography for what has felt like hours now.

“Innie, water.”

The youngest looks up and sends Felix a lopsided smile as he grasps onto the water bottle Felix holds out and gulps down a couple of sips.

“Baby, I think you might be doing the second verse for Jisungie’s part wrong,” Felix points out worriedly, more concerned with Jeongin hurting himself than anything else.

This was practice after all. They’re supposed to make mistakes.

Jeongin barely holds back a groan at his words.

“Yeah,” he mutters dejectedly.

Felix frowns as he watches his boyfriend screw on the cap of his water bottle and get up from the floor with a wince.

“Are you okay?” he asks, gently steadying the younger.

“I’m fine,” Jeongin brushes him off, pushing his hands away.

The older boy nods, unconvinced.

“So how do I do the second verse?“ he questions, watching intently as Felix quickly shifts into showing him the part before walking him through it at a slower tempo.

Jeongin mirrors him the third time around and focuses carefully on isolating his legs so the move seems more fluid and less stiff.

“Perfect!” Felix finally claps his hands with a smile just as the others start walking back over from their water break.

“Let’s go over the beginning now!” Minho calls out and the intro starts again as the members get into position.

Jeongin feels like he loses focus as they go over the dance again and again. His gaze shifts to the mirror and he sees Seungmin looking uncomfortable as well and Changbin still looking out of it. He shakes his head out of the clouds, realizing that he’s made the same mistake in the second verse again and mentally berating himself for it.

His brain disconnects from what’s going on around him, uncaring of his facial expressions and instead using the rest of his energy to execute the choreography correctly.

He’s stumbling through the bridge of the song when a loud yell comes from Chan.

“PAUSE THE MUSIC!”

Hyunjin hurries over to the front to stop the song.

Jeongin blinks his eyes back into focus and turns to the leader in confusion.

“Fuck, Seungmin. Your neck-,” Chan gasps out.

Everyone’s eyes snap to the second youngest and Jeongin makes a small sound of surprise as he stares at the streaks of red running down the length of his boyfriend’s neck.

“What?” Seungmin asks, whirling around and catching sight of his scratched-up neck in the reflection of the practice room mirror.

The boy’s eyes widen and Jeongin glances over at Chan immediately. What happened?

The oldest walks over carefully, gently touching the back of Seungmin’s neck.

The cool hand on his heated skin has the younger letting out a sigh, his tired and heavy eyes slipping shut.

“What happened, love?” Chan voices Jeongin’s exact question.

Seungmin lets out another sigh, opening his eyes back to the harsh light of the practice room.

“There’s a tag,” he huffs out plainly, his voice meek in embarrassment.

“I think I have some scissors in my bag,” Minho calls over, already walking toward where his bag is and digging through the second pocket.

Seungmin tears his gaze away from Minho and reaches a hand back to press Chan’s palm more firmly against the back of his neck.

Minho comes back over a second later, having found the small sewing scissors in his bag.

The younger lets him carefully find the tag along the hemline and start cutting, the rest of the members watching in concerned silence.

“Okay?" Minho asks.

Seungmin lets out a broken sound in reply.

“Can you-," his voice comes out strained, his hands flapping uselessly at his sides. "Can you cut it more?"

The older boy nods, stifling a yawn as he brings the scissors back up. "Yeah. I might end up cutting your actual shirt through."

Seungmin shrugs, eyes fluttering open when he feels someone take his hand.

He lets a half-smile show as Jeongin gently squeezes his hand, letting Seungmin fiddle with his fingers like the maknae always does to him.

Minho finishes up and Seungmin lets out a soft sigh, shooting the boy a grateful look in the mirror. The older’s features light up at his grin. He turns away swiftly before the younger can see the small smile on his lips.

“You’re tired, hyungie," Jeongin states more than questions as Seungmin’s eyes have slipped closed once again.

Seungmin hums in response, eyes peeking open when a certain Lee Felix suddenly latches onto his side.

“Let’s take a ten-minute break,” Jisung suggests with a frown.

The others slowly disperse, keeping an eye on Seungmin as Felix and Jeongin drag him over to the couches to sit for a while.

Jisung walks over to Chan and props an arm up on his shoulder, turning his face in to whisper, “I feel like we should go home.”

The leader looks back at him, noticing the slight grimace on the younger’s face.

“Seungmin’s exhausted. So is Minho. Binnie can barely stand on his feet. Jeongin has been completely zoned out for most of practice. I don’t think he even ate this morning,” the boy continues, sounding exasperated, not at their boyfriends but at having to go to practice after countlessly requesting a break. “Hyunjin hasn’t eaten either. He rarely seems to be recently. And right now, he looks beyond overstimulated; I’m surprised he’s even able to dance right now. Lix is the only one pulling us together and he still doesn’t seem completely okay.”

Chan can hear the clear frustration in his voice.

He nods in agreement, his eyes drifting down to the floor.

“And you too,” Jisung shoves him lightly, letting out a humorless laugh. “You haven’t been sleeping at all. You’re rarely ever at the dorms, hyung. Don’t think we all don’t notice how you sneak off at night sometimes,” he says breathlessly, hurt filling his voice.

“Bin does the same thing. The only reason you’ve been here the past two nights is because of what happened with Lixie and Changbin.”

“I-,” Chan looks shocked.

His face falls as he murmurs, “I just wanted to work hard for you.”

Jisung pulls his arms around the leader’s shoulders.

“And we just want you to take care of yourself,” he whispers back.
____________________________________________________________________________

The music blares loudly from the speakers as they continue practice.

They’re rehearsing a part with just Jeongin, Minho, and Changbin when Minho suddenly whirls around to the two behind him.

“Me, hyung?” Changbin asks softly, pointing at himself.

Jeongin barely even registers that they’ve stopped dancing.

His eyes meet Minho’s and a sudden wave of insecurity makes his stomach plummet at the older’s unimpressed stare.

“IN-ah,” Minho says firmly before slowly doing the part again so the younger can see where he got it wrong. He isolates his feet for a second, directing Jeongin’s attention there, before looking back up at him.

“Oh,” Jeongjn replies eloquently, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Minho’s face breaks into a smile, stepping forward to lightly push the boy backward with a laugh.

The maknae giggles back and tries to brush off his mistake.

Chan moves to the front to restart the part and Jeongin dances through it again before freezing.

His whole body stops moving as he registers that he did the move incorrectly again.

His mind blanks as he slowly does the move over again, counting out the beats in his head.

If Minho or Changbin say anything, Jeongin doesn’t hear them. The music restarts a second later and the maknae does it correctly this time but his body feels too stiff and his dancing looks awkward.

He grits his teeth together and keeps going, not meeting anyone’s eyes in the mirror as the others come in from the sides and their formation finally switches with Felix in the center and Jeongin behind Seungmin at the very back.

The next two water breaks pass with Jeongin going over what they learned, his frustrated sighs audible to everyone else in the room as he continues messing up. Tears nearly sting at the younger’s eyes in irritation at each part he has to go over again because he makes some kind of mistake.

“Let’s run through this one a few more times. I want to get the ending right before we move on,” Minho suggests. Everyone else nods in agreement.

Jeongin’s throat burns before he even starts dancing and his body aches as he forces himself to move. He feels like he can barely breathe by the bridge but pushes through until his mind feels as if he’s floating.

The maknae’s vision blurs and the music sounds distorted as he forces himself to keep up with the others. He stumbles through the part right before the ending, cursing himself in his mind. Why can't he just get this dance right?

The music seems to slow down and Jeongin belatedly realizes that he’s stopped dancing.

His breaths come out harshly and he can only concentrate on his shaking hands in front of him. His boyfriends calling his name sound muted and far away as if he’s submerged underwater.

“Hey-,” someone’s voice calls through the fog in his brain and the maknae feels someone grab onto his shoulder.

Chan’s concerned face comes into view and Jeongin’s stutters out to him.

“C- Channie,” he gasps, his voice slurred as he stumbles over in the direction of his boyfriend.

“Woah, hey, hey,” the leader says gently, practically catching the boy as he falls into his arms and holding him tightly around the waist with his arms pressed up against his sides.

The youngest struggles weakly in his grip, pulling his arms up finally when Chan slackens his hold slightly.

“Hey, sweetheart, what’s going on?” a voice calls from behind him.

Jeongin looks back and sees Hyunjin is the one holding onto his shoulder and blinks forcefully to see Minho standing beside him, both with worried looks on their faces.

“I- I- I’m,” the younger starts, trying to formulate a sentence though his mouth feels stuffed with cotton and his throat feels tight.

“It’s okay, baby. Take your time,” Jisung says, walking over to stand a bit behind Chan so they don’t crowd the boy too much.

Jeongin nods then immediately regrets it when
his vision blacks out and his head spins. Spots swim before his eyes, his feet stumbling over nothing as he loses his balance and teeters back and forth, his shaky knees nearly giving out under his weight.

“H- Hyung,” he desperately calls out, unsure which of his boyfriends he’s referring to as he grasps onto the nearest person.

“I’ve got you, love,” Chan’s voice whispers, guiding Jeongin’s hands to fist his t-shirt as he steadies his hold around him.

“Dizzy, dizzy, dizzy,” Jeongin repeats, his words meshing together and his tongue feeling heavy in his mouth as he pants for breath.

If they weren’t so concerned, the others would’ve found it adorable.

“Chan, we should set him down,” Changbin calls as Jeongin sways on his feet for the fourth time in the last minute.

The leader nods, lowering the younger to the ground with the help of Felix and whispering reassurances as the boy whimpers and clutches onto them in terror.

Seungmin comes over and kneels down by the maknae.

“Hey, beautiful,” he greets, tilting his boyfriend’s chin so he looks up at him. “Could you put your head like this- between your legs for hyung?” he asks, demonstrating it for him.

Jeongin nods, his eyes teary as he follows his direction and pushes his face in between his knees, and wraps his arms around himself. The world swims before his eyes one last time before he squeezes them shut, his body tense as he uses the rest of his energy to keep from passing out.

“Deep breathes,” Felix crouches down at his other side, pressing a kiss to the younger boy’s temple and throwing an arm around his back to ground him.

Jeongin forces himself to concentrate on his breathing, shutting his eyes tighter to block out everything else as he squeezes his knees tightly against either side of his head so he doesn’t lose consciousness.

He’s not sure how long he sits like that but eventually, the static in his ears fade and he can open his eyes without his vision blurring.

The youngest carefully gets up from the floor, Seungmin and Minho immediately by his sides to help as he wobbles onto his feet.

Another wave of dizziness passes over him. Jeongin closes his eyes and grips onto Minho’s shoulders before it fades just as quickly as it came on.

“‘M okay,” he smiles unsurely, self-consciously looking up to see everyone’s faces painted with concern as he lets go of the second-oldest.

“Innie,” Hyunjin steps forward to place a hand on either shoulder. “Shit- Are you okay?”

Jeongin’s face twists up in a pained look.

“I’m- I’m sorry. I just- I’m not getting the dance right and it’s so fucking-,” he breaks off with a noise of aggravation. “It’s so irritating! So I kept pushing myself to get everything right even though I’m- I’m not feeling good. And I barely slept at all last night and…forgot to eat in the morning which is probably why I felt like I was going to pass out.”

“Jesus Christ,” Chan breathes out.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry, okay? I just forgot. And I haven’t been sleeping well but-,” the maknae protests with a stubborn pout. “Channie does that all the time!”

“Fucking hell,” the leader curses, tossing his head back with groan at Jeongin’s words.

“Just because hyung is stupid and doesn’t sleep-,” Minho starts, earning a loud “Yah!” from said hyung. “…doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to also not get any sleep, IN-ah. Your dumb boyfriend is used to it-”

“HEY! I’m your boyfriend too!“ the leader cuts him off with a glare.

“It’s not healthy by any means but Chan’s body is used to not sleeping. So he doesn’t need as much as you,” Seungmin continues for Minho, ignoring the older two as they begin arguing back and forth before the leader can’t hold back the smile on his face.

“What?” Minho snaps.

Chan giggles back at him.

“You’re cute when you’re mad,” he says honestly.

Minho looks taken aback, blinking slowly as he processes what the older just said.

The leader laughs at his expression, moving close to wrap his arms around Minho. The younger struggles against him, his ears burning before he gives in and laughs along with Chan.

Minho stops making to pull away and Chan’s smile slowly drops as his gaze locks with the younger’s before moving down to his lips.

The other brings his pointer finger up to poke at Chan’s shoulder before the older boy brings up a hand to catch his fingers in his palm gently. Chan leans in, capturing Minho’s lips in a kiss and biting down lightly on his boyfriend’s bottom lip. He pulls back, earning a small flustered glare from the younger. His eyes flutter closed again when Chan moves back in before suddenly being startled out of the kiss by a loud shout.

“HYUNGS!“

Chan’s eyes wrench open and he takes in Jeongin’s aghast face, his cheeks lightly flushed as his mouth hangs open in shock.

“Oh-,” the leader says, stepping away from Minho and making a small sound of embarrassment as he hides his face away behind his hands.

“That was…so hot,” Hyunjin murmurs under his breath, Felix and Jisung nodding wordlessly in agreement.

“Yeah,” Changbin says from beside Felix as Jeongin continues staring at their older boyfriends in disbelief.

“What?” Minho asks nonchalantly despite the red color his ears have turned. “If you wanted a kiss too, Innie, you should’ve taken better care of yourself and stopped dancing when you were feeling dizzy.”

Jeongin’s face falls in a second and he whispers out a small, “Sorry”.

Minho’s stomach drops, immediately regretting his words as he takes in Jeongin’s sad expression.

“Shit, no, IN-ah. I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have joked about that,” he rambles, moving over to his boyfriend and gently lifting his chin so their eyes can meet. “You don’t have to apologize to me. I do wish you hadn’t overexerted yourself when you weren’t feeling good and instead told us what was going on, but I understand that you were frustrated and wanted to keep pushing through. Just next time…please tell us.”

Jeongin sniffles a bit, his eyes suddenly teary. He feels emotional from the lack of sleep and nearly losing consciousness a minute ago. He nods at Minho’s words before a mischievous smile makes its way into his lips.

“Does this mean I get a kiss then?”

Minho looks back at him incredulously and the younger giggles at his expression as he wipes the wetness away from under his eyes.

The older boy lets out a loud, overexaggerated groan before a smile betrays him and he leans in to slot his lips against Jeongin’s.

The younger reaches a hand up to tilt Minho’s head to the side as he does the same so their noses no longer bump uncomfortably against each other. Minho lets out a small noise as they continue kissing, his cheeks heating up and trying to pull away as soon as he registers the sound he made. Jeongin doesn’t let him, gently cupping his face to allow the older boy to end the kiss if he really wanted to but continuing to kiss him before letting out a small happy noise himself.

“Love you, hyung,” Jeongin pulls back to say, pecking the older on the nose.

“I love you too,” Minho states, smiling back
at him while still cooing internally at the cute sound of contentment Jeongin let out while kissing
him.

“Hyung-,” someone’s voice interrupts.

Everyone tears their gaze off Jeongin and Minho to look over at Jisung.

Jisung looks pointedly at Chan who bites his lip before making the call.

The leader sighs, looking over at Jeongin and then at Seungmin, who tilts his head and gives a small confused grin.

“Let’s go home. I think we could all use some rest,” Chan finally says.

Minho groans playfully in response. “By rest, hyung means cuddles,” he giggles.

Changbin snorts, walking over to wrap an arm around Minho’s waist and sleepily closing his eyes while his head comes down to rest on the older boy’s shoulder.

“Cuddles sound nice," Felix says from Seungmin’s side, yawning quietly.

"C'mon let's get home,” Jisung giggles, shuffling over to Seungmin and Felix, hugging the two from
behind and pressing a kiss to Seungmin’s eye.

Hyunjin does the same to Changbin and Minho, pressing a hand to Changbin’s back as the older burrows his head further into Minho’s neck with a whine.

“We should have a movie night. We can take the long way home and stop at the store to get sugar and snacks,” Changbin suggests, his voice muffled against Minho.

“Mm,” Seungmin hums in agreement, his tired eyes nearly slipping closed as Felix’s warm body presses against his side.

“I think I might stay back,” Hyunjin pipes up before flushing in embarrassment as Jeongin narrows his eyes at him. “Not for too long! Just to run through my solo a few more times to work out the tempo.”

“Jinnie,” Felix replies, his tone betraying the prominent frown on his face.

“I’ll be home before you even start the movie. I promise!” Hyunjin reassures.

“…Fine,” the younger begrudgingly agrees.

“Don’t stay for too long,” Minho presses before worming his way out of Changbin’s grip (much to his boyfriend’s displeasure) to go pack his bag.

“I won’t!” the other replies with a smile, walking over to the speaker to scroll through his phone for a quick song to warm up to.

Changbin pouts at the loss of contact and quickly flings an arm out to hook Jeongin around the waist to pull him into his body. The younger’s mouth drops open as he’s quickly hoisted into his boyfriend’s arms.

“Yah!” Jeongin blushes in embarrassment. “Am I that light?”

“Heavy as hell,” Changbin grunts out, making Jeongin laugh brightly and hug him tighter around the neck.

“LET’S GO!” Minho cries from the door, already having packed up his things.

“Hyunie, come get some water before you start dancing,” Chan calls over, quickly shoving his things into his bags with one hand while the other holds out the younger’s water bottle.

“Okay, hyung!” Hyunjin chirps back, skipping over to take a few sips.

He glances at the others all getting ready to go and making their way over to the door when he feels Chan’s eyes on him. He turns back around to set down his water before glancing up at the older.

The leader looks away immediately, causing Hyunjin to frown as his eyes follow Chan while he stands up and strides over to the rest of their boyfriends at the door of the practice room.

Hyunjin’s confusion momentarily halts as the others call out to him as they leave.

“Bye, baby!”

“Don’t work too hard, Hyunjin-ah!”

“Love you, cutie.”

“Hyung, tell Changbin to put me down before we leave. He’s going to break his back.”

“Babe, tell Innie that I have every right to carry him after he almost passed out on us.”

“Bye, Hyunjinnie. See you soon!”

“Come back soon for movie night.”

A smile stretches across his face as he waves back at them, laughing at Changbin and Jeongin as they walk out with the maknae held tightly against Changbin’s chest in “fireman pose” as Minho insisted on calling it.

Chan is the last to leave, looking back at Hyunjin disapprovingly and making the smile quickly fall off the younger’s face.

Hyunjin tries to catch the older boy’s eye but it’s already too late. The leader turns away with a sigh and exits, the door shutting behind him and leaving Hyunjin alone in the practice room.
____________________________________________________________________________

His hands shake as he finishes his last run-through, feeling the satisfying rush of adrenaline as the music fades and a content feeling after nailing all the moves.

He still needs a lot of practice to perfect his movements and work on syncing completely with the other members, but in terms of his small solo, he’s more than pleased.

Hyunjin drags himself over to the wall where his bag is, tilting his head back as he gulps down the rest of his water. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before contacting their manager to get him a ride back home.

After the short ride home from the company building, Hyunjin is hopping out of the car with a bow and quick thank you before skipping over to their building.

“Hello!” he cries cheerfully into the dorms as he closes and locks the door behind him.

“Hello? Where are you guys?” he chuckles, walking further into the house.

The members only went out to get food and candy for movie night. They should all be home by now.

“Lixie?” Hyunjin calls, opening up the door to Chan, Changbin, and Felix’s room, expecting to see the younger gaming at his desk with his headphones on.

He blinks in surprise when the room appears empty even after flicking on the light.

Hyunjin wanders back into the living room and walks over to the kitchen.

“Anyone home?” he asks softly as he steps in, waiting to see Minho cooking something in the kitchen.

A frown settles onto his face as he slowly wanders back through the living room and down the hallway again.

He opens each of the doors, anticipating Jisung to be watching a documentary in his room or Seungmin listening to music. Only, he doesn’t see any of them.

Hyunjin closes the last door before registering the way his limbs are shaking, his hands barely able to pull the doorknob shut.

His whole body feels jittery. ‘They’re probably on their way home now,’ he thinks to himself. But no matter how many times he repeats this, Hyunjin’s heart still races anxiously.

He grasps his phone in his pocket, bringing it out to see no sign of any new messages. ‘It would be stupid to call them. They’ll be home any second.’

Chan’s face as he left the practice room flashes in Hyunjin’s mind. He looked so angry and disappointed when Hyunjin said he was going to stay back.

‘Hyung wasn’t angry. He was worried for me; that I’m overworking myself.’

The voice of reason in his head does nothing to quell the panic starting to settle in.

His knees wobble underneath him and it isn’t long until they hit the ground. He winces at the sound more than the pain, his senses feeling distorted and his vision growing dim around the edges.

“Oh, God. They left me,” Hyunjin whimpers aloud, his breath catching in his throat.

His fear overpowers all rational thought and he’s plucking his phone from his pocket once more and dialing the first number he sees pop up from his previous messages.

The call rings and rings; Hyunjin’s breathing gets more and more frantic as it continues until Minho’s voice comes loudly from the speaker. Except, it’s simply the automated recording telling Hyunjin to call back another time or leave a message.

Hyunjin shudders, quickly ending the call and scooting back until his back hits the door behind him. The hallway feels lonely and cold as he sits curled up on the hardwood floors.

“No, no, no,” he gasps out through pants. “Why’d you leave me?”

Tears are pouring down his face now and he’s rocking back and forth, his head slamming back against the door with every jolt backward.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Please, don’t-. Please don’t leave. Don’t leave me alone,” he continues sobbing, the panic clawing at his chest and constricting his lungs.

A moment later, he hears a noise faintly coming from outside before the sound of a key being slotted into the front door reaches his ears.

He holds his cries in, biting down on his lip as he stumbles up from the floor, hope blossoming in
his chest as he staggers toward the entrance.

Hyunjin makes it about halfway when the door swings open and the others' voices carry down the hall.

He can’t contain his sobs any longer. At the sound of his boyfriends, his resolve crumbles as he uses the wall to hold himself up from completely falling to the floor. The hot tears run down his face and Hyunjin is barely aware of his boyfriends rushing in through the entrance once they hear his cries and the slamming of the door as their pounding footsteps draw nearer.

Felix is the first one inside, sprinting around the corner and arriving just in time for Hyunjin to collapse into his arms.

The younger boy lowers Hyunjin to the ground carefully as the other members come running over.

“What’s going on? What’s going on?” he rushes out, holding the older close.

Hyunjin can’t speak but he tries to respond which only makes his crying worse.

“I- I thought-. I’m sorry. Please, I- I’m sorry,” he blubbers out, chest rising and falling rapidly.

“That’s okay. Just focus on breathing, baby,” Felix exhales, trying to calm himself down to help the poor boy in his arms.

The others back up slightly from the two of them to give them space. Hyunjin notices immediately and cries out, reaching upward toward Seungmin standing just out of his reach in front of him.

“Shit. Oh, shit,” the younger curses, clasping his hand with the boy’s outstretched one and dropping down onto a knee to press in closer. “I’m sorry, beautiful. We’re right here with you.”

“Yeah. You’re okay, hyungie,” Jeongin agrees, getting onto his knees to throw his arms around both Felix and Hyunjin on the floor.

He hears the older boy’s breath hitch before his sobbing lessens slightly.

Jeongin looks over to the others, motioning them
to come closer. They all easily comply, crowding into Hyunjin’s space and making a point to touch him even if it’s just an arm around his shoulders or a hand on his back.

The panic in Hyunjin’s chest simmers down. He continues gasping for breath and the tears seem neverending but seeing his boyfriends and feeling the grounding touches all around has brought a sense of relief.

“Thought you- l- left me. Didn’t know if you didn’t w- want me anymore or if you were hurt…Or something- something happened.” he tries to explain.

His mind had been reeling with all the possibilities. Maybe they had grown tired of Hyunjin and left for good. Maybe they stopped loving him. Maybe they weren’t safe and that’s why they hadn’t come back. Maybe there was an accident on the road or one of
them were hurt, or worse.

“No, baby, no. We don’t hate you. Why’d you
think that?” Jisung asks, keeping his voice soft.

Hyunjin blinks back tears, trying to look at all of them surrounding him.

“Came h- home and no- no one was h- here.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re not alone now,” Changbin pipes up.

Hyunjin lets out a sob at his words, hugging as many of them as he can tightly as his eyes slip closed in exhaustion.

“Deep breaths, Jinnie,” Minho reminds. “…Is that why you called me, darling? Were you starting to have a panic attack so you tried to contact one of us?”

Hyunjin nods his head.

“You- You didn’t pick up.

“I’m so sorry, Hyunjinnie. I was busy; I didn’t see your call,” the older says regretfully.

“I’m okay. You’re here now. I needed you home and you are. ‘Is okay, Min.”

“Okay,” the older sighs guiltily. “Okay. I’m glad we’re home then.”

Hyunjin nods in agreement, the remaining panic reducing to nothing more than an uncomfortable knot in his stomach.

“So w- what did you get from the store?”

“…Hyunie. You just had a panic attack- I- That's not okay. This is not okay,” Chan sputters out in shock. “We need to talk, love. I think we all haven’t been doing the best job at communicating. You’ve been
home by yourself before and this has never happened. We aren’t okay. We need-”

Jeongin puts his hand on Chan’s arm in worry as the older gets more and more worked up before Hyunjin is interrupting.

“I know. Please; I just wanna g-go to bed. I want to cuddle, please. No talking right now.”

Chan swallows the lump in his throat, holding back
tears, and nods at the younger’s request.

“That’s perfectly fine, love. I’m sorry for rambling. I don’t know where that came from. I’m so sorry for
making that all about…” he gestures uselessly with his hands, feeling horrible.

“No, you’re right, sweetheart,” Hyunjin reassures with a sniff, making Chan’s eyes burn. “We definitely need to talk,” he lets out a humorless laugh. “We will soon.”

Chan nods in agreement, afraid he’ll burst into tears if he responds verbally.
____________________________________________________________________________

The hardwood floors squeak as he shifts his weight from his right foot to his left then spins around with a small sigh as he listens intently to the person on the other line.

“Will that be all-”

“Yes,” Chan interrupts hastily, eager for the call to be over.

He speeds through a quick thank you and goodbye before hanging up.

Chan sighs as he leans over the countertop with his forearms laid flat on the cold granite and his head bowed, allowing himself to close his eyes for a moment and breathe. The long sigh he lets out is a mix between frustration, sadness, and exhaustion.

“Who were you talking to, baby?” Felix’s deep voice sounds from behind him.

Chan plastered a tired smile on his face and turns around.

“It was nothing,” he dismisses.

Felix frowns, tilting his head to the side to give Chan a look as he walks closer to grab his keys from the small dish on the countertop.

Chan audibly exhales, causing Felix’s gaze to snap back to him immediately.

“We can’t take a break. Tomorrow’s too packed.”

“Oh,” the younger mouths.

He purses his lips together as their eyes meet. Felix lets out a small huff of annoyance and Chan giggles lightly.

“Yeah,” he agrees, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

“…We’ll figure it out,” Felix proclaims after moments of silence go by.

He steps toward the older boy and throws his arms around his shoulders.

Chan slumps into his embrace with a sigh.

“We’ll figure it out,” Felix repeats, quieter this time as he loses himself in his own thoughts.

Chan wraps his arms around the younger’s waist, biting down on his lip so he doesn’t end up complaining to Felix about everything that’s on his mind right now. ‘I’m worried about you,’ he wants to whisper into his ear. ‘I’m so scared. I’m so tired. I’m afraid to fall asleep. I don’t know what to do anymore. None of us are okay. How will we figure it out?’ he yearns to ask.

But Felix doesn’t have all the answers. And neither does he. So he bites his lip a little harder and holds onto Felix a little tighter, swallowing down the words he wants to say.

Seungmin enters quietly a second later.

He goes up to them and gently lays a hand on Chan’s shoulder.

“Come look,” he states simply, his eyes soft as he gazes back into the living room.

Chan and Felix silently follow behind him as Seungmin shuffles back into the living room with both of their hands clasped gently in his own.

“Oh my God,” Chan whispers, the corners of his mouth lifting into a huge smile as he takes in the sight.

Hyunjin is passed out with his head laying against Changbin’s thigh. His knees are curled up to his chest where he’s clinging onto two jackets.

“They’re Innie and Min’s jackets,” Seungmin murmurs as if reading the older’s mind.

“Aw,” Felix coos softly.

Changbin glances up at the three before gazing back down with a tender smile. He pokes Hyunjin’s face gently with his pointer finger, pulling a quiet giggle from Jeongin as he sits on couch off to the side with Minho beside him.

Hyunjin had taken a quick shower with Seungmin and Changbin. It was a miracle how the three of them managed to squeeze into the shower together but it made it easier with sleepy kisses passed between the three of them and an adorable, clingy Hyunjin who wouldn’t let either of them go for longer than a few seconds.

After they finished, Hyunjin dressed in his comfiest clothes then promptly went to Jeongin and Minho’s closets to steal clothes.

His two boyfriends had finished their showers a bit before him and both were more than happy to lend their clothing. Jeongin teased him a bit about giving Hyunjin the ugliest thing in his closet before handing him the warmest jacket he could find. Minho, on the other hand, had not spoken a word as he rummaged through his closet before holding a jacket out for the younger boy. As Hyunjin walked closer to take it, Minho leaned up a bit to press a sweet kiss to his lips before tossing the jacket into his arms.

It hadn’t taken long for Hyunjin to fall asleep. Changbin had no problem with letting him rest against him and the jackets from both Minho and Jeongin made him feel safe.

They both smelled like his boyfriends, which might seem like a weird thing to notice but Hyunjin had always been able to pick up on small things like the vanilla scent from whenever Felix would place a small dab of vanilla extract behind each ear as his grandmother had taught him or the faint smell of cherry from the lip balm that Minho kept continuously stealing from him or even Chan’s very distinct three in one shampoo, body wash, and conditioner that’s smell often stayed on his clothing.

The faint lingering smell of his boyfriends on their jackets made Hyunjin feel secure. The clothing acted as a small comfort (and Changbin was a comfort item himself) so Hyunjin easily found himself drifting off within minutes.

The light touch to his face has Hyunjin’s eyelashes fluttering open, he mutters a few incoherent phrases while using his elbow to nudge Changbin’s hand down so he can hug his arm against his chest before settling back down.

“He’s so cute,” Changbin whispers, quiet enough not to disturb Hyunjin’s sleep but loud enough for the others to hear and voice their agreement.

“He’s like a cat,” Minho speaks fondly. “I don’t want to see you move even an inch, Changbinnie,” he laughs sweetly while staring daggers at his boyfriend.

Changbin gulps at the threatening look, sighing melodramatically while knowing fully well that nothing in the world could get him to shift his body even slightly and ruin this moment.

“I guess I won’t be moving anytime soon then,” he chuckles. “…but the rest of you should go take a walk before dinner.”

“We should!” Felix exclaims quietly. “It’s perfect weather for walking; very crisp!”

Chan shoots him a curious look before shrugging his shoulders and muttering, “Fair enough”.

“I’m going to stay back and get dinner started,” Minho speaks before heading off into the kitchen without another word.

“I’ll help him,” Seungmin rolls his eyes, taking off behind him.

“Sungie, you wanna walk through the neighborhood with us?” Felix pipes up after catching Changbin’s eye and watching the older pointedly glance behind him on the couch.

“Yeah. Sounds good,” the boy mutters back in response, his arms folded up and crossed over his chest as he continues pacing back and forth.

“He still has his shoes on,” Changbin comments, directing his words to Chan and Felix as Jisung has gone back to tuning out the conversation.

Chan nods, worriedly looking over to Jisung before directing a small smile to Changbin.

“I can come too!” Jeongin stands up, smiling brightly.

“No, you very much cannot,” Felix replies.

“W- What? Why?” the maknae’s smile drops immediately.

“Baby…” the other sympathizes, smiling sadly as he moves over to the youngest.

He gently pushes Jeongin back onto the couch.

“You nearly passed out today,” he continues. “You kept swaying on your feet and your whole body was shaking; it-. It was scary for all of us to watch.”

Jeongin puts his head down in guilt, feeling horrible for having made them so worried.

“…And I can't even imagine how terrifying that must’ve been for you,” Felix lifts his chin and gives him a gentle smile. “I think it would be better for you to rest right now. You can always cuddle with Jinnie; I’m sure he would love that. Or you can go in and watch Seungminnie and Min-hyung make dinner.”

The younger nods at the suggestions, a heartbreaking pout on his face as he accepts that he won’t be able to go on the walk with them.

“It’s just for today, IN-ah. Take it easy for today and after some good sleep tonight, I’m sure you’ll be all better tomorrow,” Changbin reassures.

“…Yeah,” Jeongin mournfully agrees.

Felix smiles at him before pushing himself up from
the couch.

“We’ll be back before you know it,” he promises, kissing his forehead and shooting Changbin a smile.

He grabs onto Chan’s arm and they are out the door with Jisung on the leader’s other side.

Jeongin hears the door click shut and lets out a sigh, turning with pursed lips to Changbin.

“Do you want some kisses?” the older boy offers with a teasing smirk on his face.

The maknae’s mouth turns downward in disgust as he shoots Changbin a look.

“I don’t want any.”

“You don’t want any? Even my kisses?” Changbin whines back, his voice high-pitched and emphasizing the “my” as he tilts his head annoyingly back at Jeongin.

“Ew,” the younger replies, shifting down off the couch and shuffling over to Changbin.

He leans in playfully and the older is quick to move his head forward to kiss him.

Jeongin evades his attempts with a giggle. The older boy smiles lightly before trying again, straining his neck to get closer.

The maknae finally manages to get an elbow under his chin and shove him back against the couch despite Changbin’s resistance.

The older finally complies and leans back against the cushion behind him with a laugh.

Jeongin’s strained smile of mock disgust melts into something softer. His giggling ceases as he carefully presses forward and leaves a kiss on Changbin’s lips before tilting his head down to place a kiss to Hyunjin’s cheek as the boy continues to sleep soundly with Changbin’s leg as a pillow.

“IN-ah,” Changbin mutters, simply wanting to say the other’s name as a pleased smile stretches onto his face.

Jeongin huffs out a quiet laugh at his expression before Seungmin is wandering into the room.

“I’ve come to retrieve our Jeonginnie,” he announces playfully, shooting the two boys a smile. “We need a second opinion on dinner since Min ‘doesn’t trust me’,” he rolls his eyes.

The maknae chuckles, getting to his feet carefully and sliding an arm around Seungmin’s waist.

“One more kiss!?” Changbin calls out jokingly.

Jeongin turns around and glares back at him. “Never!” he responds back.

Seungmin shakes his head at the two of them before dragging Jeongin away to try the food.

After confirming that the food is edible and advising his older boyfriends to add a bit more perilla oil, Jeongin pushes himself up onto the counter. His legs dangle while the two work, the clattering of the pans and the loud, playful bickering coming from the other two somehow making Jeongin’s eyelids heavy.

The loudness of his members and the comfort from the chaos around him, slowly lulling the maknae to sleep.

He hops down from the counter and nearly hits the ground before Seungmin is steadying him by the waist.

Jeongin regains his footing, shooting his boyfriend a dazed smile as he moves over to where Hyunjin and Changbin now stand beside the kitchen counter.

Changbin’s conversation with Minho pauses momentarily as Jeongin throws himself against the two, hugging them both tightly as a yawn is pulled from his mouth.

Their conversation slowly carries on as Hyunjin joins and Seungmin occasionally chimes in. The noise increases, pushing Jeongin to the brink of sleep as the exhaustion settles over him.

He knows his body won’t let him fall asleep while standing upright slumping into Changbin and Hyunjin’s chests, but he allows the drowsiness to blanket him and the feeling of his boyfriends warm him from the inside out as they wait for the food to be finished and their three other lovers to return.

Chapter Text

They finally settle on a movie just as Chan, Felix, and Jisung arrive home. It had taken some time but after Hyunjin had muttered a small, “I wanna watch that one,” to Changbin’s suggestion, everyone came to a quick agreement.

“Fuck! It’s freezing out there!” Felix bursts out, the front door swinging open and banging against the wall.

His hands quiver as Chan quickly steps in behind him and rubs up and down his back with a small chuckle as the younger starts removing his shoes.

Changbin looks over the back of the couch with a laugh, snuggling closer to Seungmin as a cool breeze blows in through the open door.

“How was your walk?”

“Other than the fact that it was cold as fuck?” Chan laughs. “It was pretty nice.”

The leader looks over to the couch and feels his heart melt. The others are curled up on the couch with Minho tucked into Jeongin’s side on the left and Changbin squished in next to Seungmin on the right. In the middle, Hyunjin is spread out with his head on Jeongin’s leg and his knees propped up on Seungmin’s.

The front door closes as Jisung finally shuffles in after the leader and the whole room suddenly feels encased in warmth. Everyone looks beyond cozy on the couch. They’re all in their pajamas, bundled under various blankets and wrapped in each other’s arms. Chan can’t keep the dopey smile off his face as he leans over to shuck off his shoes.

“Lix!” Jeongin shouts. He tilts his head back to look at the three of them upside down, opening an inviting arm and shooting a wide grin at Felix.

The older boy gasps in a mixture of gratefulness and surprise.

“THANK YOU” he screams.

“Oh my lord,” Jisung murmurs as he and Chan watch Felix shrug off his jacket and begin loudly fake crying, wiping his ‘tears’ away as he sprints over to the couch.

Felix curls into Jeongin’s other side, his whole body shivering against him. The maknae groans, already regretting letting the boy cuddle with him as his cold skin makes contact with his own.

“How’s Sungie?” Seungmin calls over, his fingers clasped with Changbin’s and his hands resting atop Hyunjin’s legs as the boy lightly dozes off.

Chan tilts his head at the boy in question.

Jisung gives him a small quirk of the lips before it dissipates into a stoic expression, looking back down to work at untying his sholaces.

During the walk, Jisung had barely spoken a word but Chan could see the way his shoulders had become less bunched and his jaw had dropped the tension it was carrying before. Yet, the blank expression on his face never wavered and the far-off look in his eyes stayed.

He kneels down and swats away Jisung’s hands. The younger makes a sound of objection but lets Chan start undoing his shoes for hm.

Seungmin decidedly stands up when Jisung doesn’t reply, shoving Hyunjin’s legs off his lap and dragging Changbin up with him. The older protests in confusion but Seungmin is a man on a mission. The older boy signs, accepting defeat as he shuts up and allows himself to be dragged over to Chan and Jisung.

Seungmin all but runs over, a spring in his step and the arm not holding Changbin’s bouncing up and down at his side.

Changbin giggles joyfully at the cute action.

The two make it over to the door just as Chan straightens up from taking off Jisung’s shoes.

Seungmin finally drops Changbin’s hand in favor of throwing himself at Jisung.

The older boy staggers back immediately.

“Seungmin-,” he groans out with a laugh following shortly after.

He hugs the younger back tightly, melting against the warm sweater Seungmin has on and signing in content as he buries his face into his boyfriend’s neck.