Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Soobin lets out a heavy exhale as he steps off the ice, sweat clinging to his exhausted body.

He’s absolutely beat from today's practice, his legs and feet burning, his body a tired mess. It’s painful to even haul himself off the ice, though, he’s used to it by now.

After years of being a figure skater, Soobin has learned that this abuse against his body is what gets you to the very top. He will never settle for anything less, this pain is only temporary after all.

He spots Beomgyu and his hockey team waiting just outside the rink, his mood turning instantly sour.

Not only is the team itself exceptionally rude to Soobin, but Beomgyu in particular has some sort of petty vendetta against him.

Having to share this building and rink with the hockey team for years, Soobin has developed a special rivalry with the captain Choi Beomgyu.

They constantly bicker, Beomgyu wanting to piss Soobin off unlike anyone else. There’s really no reason for their fighting except for the fact that Beomgyu thinks Soobin’s “pretty” sport is stupid.

Soobin can only roll his eyes as he gets closer to Beomgyu, annoyance setting in just from having to see him.

Beomgyu glances over to Soobin, giving him a dumb smirk as he makes his way over to the figure skater.

However, Soobin roughly shoves past him, wanting to go rest rather than deal with Beomgyu’s annoying antics.

The younger boy stumbles back, his bulky hockey gear making him unbalanced. He shoots Soobin a glare, stepping back towards him once he regains himself, his smirk long gone.

Before Soobin can turn and go, Beomgyu grabs the collar of his turtleneck, tugging him to an instant halt.

To anyone else, Beomgyu might come off as intimidating. But Soobin is a hell of a lot taller and also knows that Beomgyu is all talk with completely baseless threats.

“You’ve really got to watch where you’re going, doll.” Beomgyu growls, his fingers curling in the fabric.

Soobin shrugs, “maybe you shouldn’t be so clumsy.”

Out of nowhere, Beomgyu lightly shoves at Soobin’s chest, laughing when Soobin wobbles on the blades of his skates.

Soobin huffs, not having expected that. Luckily he was able to keep his balance, but it pisses him off nonetheless.

A few other guys from the hockey team snicker, Soobin’s cheeks heating up in embarrassment.

“Who’s clumsy now?” Beomgyu laughs, “aren’t figure skaters supposed to be stable?”

Soobin bites his lip, looking to where Taehyun walks up to them from the stands. He tugs on Soobins sleeve to leave, having already seen enough.

“Soobin, let’s just go.” Taehyun says, narrowing his eyes at Beomgyu.

Soobin nods, following after Taehyun who practically drags him away. Beomgyu scowls after them, a pout on his lips as his target is taken away.

Soobin can hear whispers as they go from the hockey team but ignores it, instead looking forward to a hot shower and a little bit of rest.

Except when they finally get to the locker room, Taehyun is already chewing him out.

The younger had been practicing earlier and stayed to watch Soobin, and of course saw his whole thing with Beomgyu.

They’ve been friends for years, meeting through figure skating and always trying to cheer each other on. But Taehyun is very tired of having to witness Soobin’s constant rivalry with Beomgyu.

“Why the hell would you shove him like that? You really cannot go a second without starting shit with him.” Taehyun huffs as he sits down next to Soobin.

“Oh shush—someone needs to put his ass in its place.” Soobin grumbles.

He leans back, letting his head fall against the wall while he sits. He’s so damn exhausted and barely has enough energy to take off his skates.

Taehyun stares at him, “have you been doing extra practice again?”

Soobin hums, “maybe.”

“You’re gonna overwork yourself. Remember what happened last time.”

Soobin pouts, “I’ll do it less.”

“You better.” Taehyun says while collecting his things from one of the lockers.

Soobin stands up, making his way over to the sink.

“I’ll see you later then. You’re going home now, right?” Soobin says.

“Yeah...you better not stay late.”

Soobin purses his lips, “I won’t.”

—

Soobin definitely lied to Taehyun earlier about not staying late. Then again, you don’t get better without practice, Soobin just likes to take that idea to a whole new level.

He slips his fluffy leg warmers over his ankles as he stretches off to the side of the rink. The hockey team is still practicing and it’s the only ice in the building, so Soobin has to wait. It does give him a little extra time to rest though before he’s back at it again.

He eyes the team up, searching out Beomgyu in the boys. The guy easily stands out, being the team's best player after all. He glides over the ice effortlessly, moving exceptionally fast with great skill.

It would be impressive if Beomgyu wasn’t so god damn annoying and constantly on Soobin’s case.

As if on command, Beomgyu skates by Soobin, sticking his tongue out at the older. Soobin closes his eyes, returning his focus back to stretching.

He puts his leg up on the side boards to stretch, flaunting his flexibility. The hockey team gives him a few weird looks, but he can’t bring himself to care.

Beomgyu slams into the boards beside him seconds later, causing Soobin to jump in surprise.

“Why the hell are you watching us?” Beomgyu asks as he reaches to run his hand over Soobin’s leg. Soobin instantly retracts his leg and backs up.

“I’m waiting for you guys to get off the ice.” Soobin murmurs, crossing his arms. “Is that not obvious?”

“Weren’t you literally just practicing,” Beomgyu points out.

“And? Why are you even over here, go hit someone with your stupid stick.”

“That’s not—“

“Bye!” Soobin yells before sticking his earbuds in, effectively drowning out Beomgyu’s complaints.

—

After around half an hour passes, the hockey team finally exit the rink. They throw Soobin a few weird comments, but he brushes them off as usual.

The hockey boys really hate the idea of the pretty male figure skater. It’s kind of funny really how much his existence upsets their idea of masculinity.

Eventually it’s just Soobin left...and Beomgyu...of course.

“Such a pretty waist for a boy, a shame really.” Beomgyu comments as he walks up to Soobin.

“Oh yeah? Why can’t you stop staring at it then?” Soobin challenges.

Beomgyu glances around, making sure none of his team is in earshot.

“Maybe I find it a little hot,” Beomgyu says in a low voice.

Soobin’s face reddens, he really hates these off handed comments Beomgyu always makes. But then again, that’s just how he is with everyone. Even at the college Beomgyu makes it his personal mission to flirt with anyone and everyone no matter their gender.

“I’ll make sure to show it off just for you then.” Soobin says once he regains his composure, placing his hands on his waist.

Beomgyu laughs, cocking his eyebrow and throwing a wink to Soobin before he strides off after his team.

Soobin lets out a sigh, he really hates Choi Beomgyu.

—

Soobin skates around on the rink for a few more hours after the team leaves, going through his routines over and over again.

The staff of the building have given Soobin a key after he requested one. He’s always liked coming early in the morning or staying late at night so he had asked for a key to make it easier.

Of course they only gave him the key because he garnered the title of being one of Koreans best male figure skaters.

Soobin looks up and sees through the windows on the roof that the sun has since set. He should probably head home now...Taehyun will probably figure out that he’s still here since he’s not answering his phone.

Begrudgingly, he drags himself off the rink, his body hurting a thousand times more than it did before.

He nearly trips when he goes to sit down, his head suddenly very dizzy.

He tugs his skates off slowly, breathing heavily at the usually simple task.

As he tries to make his way to the locker room, he finds himself limping from the extreme pain.

A whimper escapes his lips and he collapses on a bench in the locker room.

He can’t bring himself to get up, his eyes fluttering closed from all the exhaustion. Perhaps he pushed himself a little too hard today after all...he won’t hear the end of this from Taehyun.

He really has to stop overworking himself like this.

Soobin passes out.

—

“Hello!? Soobin, wake up!” A voice screams in Soobin’s ear. He jolts awake, looking around panicked with bleary eyes.

“Hhh...w—where am I?” Soobin mutters, his throat painfully dry.

“Why the fuck are you asleep in the locker room?” Beomgyu asks...yep, that’s definitely Beomgyu’s voice.

Soobin sighs, glancing around. He can tell that it’s still night time from the small window in the corner...at least he wasn’t here until morning.

“Oh—I must’ve fallen asleep...” Soobin says, sitting up.

He lets out a yelp as he does so, pain shooting through his body. Right, he had overworked himself, that’s why he fell asleep.

“Are you okay...?” Beomgyu questions, a foreign look of worry on his face.

“Mhmm...why are you even here?”

“I forgot something—“

Soobin tries to stand and walk but fails miserably, collapsing against Beomgyu. The pain is so unbearable...he really messed up this time.

“Fuck! What is wrong with you?!” Beomgyu yelps, his hands instinctively grabbing Soobin.

“Ah fuck—it seems I can’t quite walk right now...” Soobin sighs shakily, sitting back down.

He was going to walk home, but that probably won’t work very well now. He inwardly curses, hating his own bad decisions.

“Why the fuck did you practice so much more then.”

Soobin rolls his neck, ignoring Beomgyu. “I sure hope Taehyun is awake right now,” he whispers to himself.

Taehyun will be more than pissed at him, but he’s the only option for Soobin to get home right now.

Beomgyu only watches as Soobin tries to call Taehyun, oddly not leaving.

“Why are you still here?” Soobin asks as the phone rings...though Taehyun isn’t picking up.

“Um—can you get home...?” Beomgyu questions, hesitation clear in his voice.

“What’s it to you?” Soobin groans. Taehyun really isn’t answering....he’s probably asleep.

“Fuck...” Soobin whispers under his breath after he tries to call Taehyun for a fifth time. The boy obviously has his ringer off too because god damn he should’ve heard the phone by now.

“Do you need a ride home?” Beomgyu asks slowly as he watches a very defeated Soobin slumped against the wall.

“Not from the likes of you.”

“You really want to be left here all night? Fine by me then.” Beomgyu huffs.

“W—wait...will you really drive me home?” Soobin really has no other option here...and he really wants his bed right now too.

Beomgyu licks his lips, “I guess.”

—

The car ride is completely silent aside from Beomgyu’s loud music that he plays to fill the silence.

It’s terribly awkward, the tension rolling between them in the worst way.

Soobin feels quite uncomfortable too in Beomgyu’s matte black Mercedes Benz. It quite literally smells of wealth, and here Soobin is a sweaty mess in the shiny leather seats.

They arrive at Soobin’s apartment complex a few minutes later, the building not far from the rink.

Except he realizes as Beomgyu pulls in, that he has no idea how he’s going to get up to his little studio apartment. He lives alone, having no one who can come out and help him to his room.

Beomgyu seems to realize this too, glancing over to Soobin.

“Do I have to carry you, doll?” Beomgyu says with a smug look on his face.

Soobin wants the earth to open up and eat him, he really does not want this to happen right now. Beomgyu will never let him live this moment down. He should’ve really listened to Taehyun.

“I can walk.” Soobin says.

“You really can’t.”

Against everything, Soobin tries to get out of the car and walk, but as soon as he places his feet down he feels immense pain. Sure he could probably stagger and stumble to his room...but that would take forever and probably hurt him even more.

“Don’t you collapse beside my car I swear to god!” Beomgyu yells as he jumps out and rushes to the passenger side.

He grabs Soobin much against the older boy's will, easily swinging him into his arms in bridal style. Soobin complains, but eventually gives up knowing this is his only way to his room.

Beomgyu hauls him up the stairs, Soobin quietly giving directions of where to go.

Eventually they find themselves outside Soobin’s door, Soobin reaching down to unlock it.

Beomgyu pushes his way in and makes his way to Soobins bed, where he places the other boy down.

Soobin hates that he’ll have to sleep all sweaty, but showering right now is out of the question. He’ll definitely have to wash his sheets later though.

“There—how the fuck are you so light.” Beomgyu says, “why’s your apartment only one room?”

“I’m not and shut up rich boy.”

“Whatever, I’m leaving. Thanks for wasting my time with your pathetic ass.”

“Thanks...” Soobin mumbles as Beomgyu exits, the door slamming behind him.

And just like that, Beomgyu is gone.

Soobin presses his face into his pillow, letting out a muffled scream. There is no way Soobin will be able to face Beomgyu again after this.

Chapter Text

“Soobin, what the fuck!” Taehyun yells as he slams open Soobin’s apartment door.

Soobin cowers in his bed, a wave of guilt washing over him as his best friend enters the room.

He of course had to tell Taehyun about what happened last night...especially after the spam of calls. To say the least...Taehyun is a little angry at him.

“You overworked yourself again! Right after I told you not to! God damn it, Soobin, do I have to stay with you again to make sure you don’t keep doing this.” Taehyun huffs, throwing his things down.

“I’m sorry.” Soobin whispers, not meeting Taehyuns eyes. This happens too often...though last time it was so bad he ended up hospitalized because of it.

Taehyun crawls into the bed next to him, reaching to gently massage Soobin’s aching legs. Soobin sighs, curling closer to his friend.

“You really have to stop hurting yourself like this.” Taehyun says quietly after a moment.

“I know...”

“Oh stop pouting and come here.” Taehyun mumbles before reaching to pull Soobin into his arms. He lets the taller boy rest against him as they lay together, his hands combing through his hair.

Soobin really doesn’t know what he would do without Taehyun, he’s been his rock through all these years. He would probably be a broken mess by now without him.

“Want me to order in some takeout?” Taehyun questions as he holds Soobin closer.

Soobin eagerly nods, “yes, I’m starving.”

“Good, because I am too.”

Soobin smiles, he’s happy he still has someone to take care of him even after everything.

—

Soobin goes back to the rink after a few days of rest and care (thanks to Taehyun). He had wanted to go back sooner, but Taehyun definitely did not allow him until he was completely rested up. Though, in hindsight, it was probably for the best.

“You overworked yourself again didn’t you?” Seokjin, Soobin’s coach, huffs as soon as Soobin walks in.

“Maybe...” Soobin says with a pout as he faces the older male.

Seokjin shakes his head, placing his hands on his hips before giving Soobin a worried look.

“Soobin, you’re one of the best figure skaters we have, but if you end up breaking yourself it’s over.”

“I know...I’m sorry.”

Seokjin ruffles his hair, giving him a fond look. “Just make sure someone keeps an eye on you so you don’t hurt yourself again.”

“I’ll try,” Soobin says.

Seokjin has been his coach for years, ever since he was very young. He practically raised Soobin, becoming sort of like a father figure in his life. He’s always taken good care of him, as well as helping to make him into one of the best figure skaters in Korea. Without him, Soobin wouldn’t be nearly half as good.

After Seokjin gives him a few more choice words, he lets Soobin go on the ice, the younger boy itching to do so.

He glides around on the ice freely, relishing in the feeling after not having been able to skate for days.

However, from the stands, Soobin can see that Beomgyu and his blue haired teammate are watching him. Beomgyu’s brazen eyes are pinpointed on him, the annoying hockey player watching his every move.

Soobin sighs, he obviously hasn’t seen Beomgyu since that day, and he really doesn’t want to face him now. Luckily Soobin is with Seokjin today so Beomgyu shouldn’t try anything...well at least not until after Soobin is off the ice.

For now he chooses to just ignore Beomgyu, letting the music take over his body and mind as he loses himself in skating.

—

When Soobin finally finishes up today's practice session with Seokjin, Beomgyu is already steadily moving towards him.

Though, Seokjin shoots Beomgyu a harsh glare, knowing too well how troublesome the other boy is when it comes to Soobin.

Beomgyu shrinks back a little, stopping where he stands. Seokjin isn’t someone you go against, and you definitely don’t mess with his skaters in front of him. If anyone has power, it’s Seokjin. He could have Beomgyu kicked off the hockey team with just the flick of his pretty wrist.

Soobin internally thanks Seokjin for his intervention, not having the energy to face Beomgyu, especially after the other night. Though he still has to go to the locker room...and surely Beomgyu will sneak his way into there when Seokjin isn’t looking.

Sure enough, Beomgyu pops into the locker room a few minutes later. He’s alone now though, no longer having his friend trailing after him.

“What the hell do you want?” Soobin mutters as he turns to the other boy.

“Oh? So cold even after I helped you the other night.” Beomgyu says, moving to lean on the lockers. A smirk rides on his lips, a cocky expression on his face that only pisses Soobin off more.

“Shut up.” Soobin groans, deciding not to press on further. He just wants the conversation to end and for the other boy to leave.

“I’m going to shower, so if you could leave now that would be great.” Soobin says when he notices that Beomgyu is not in fact leaving.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily—“ Beomgyu freezes when Soobin starts to take his shirt off. “W—what are you doing?”

Soobin rolls his eyes. “I told you I’m going to shower.” It’s a little shameless, but he’s sure Beomgyu has seen plenty of shirtless guys while in the locker room with his own team.

Except Beomgyu stands motionless, a slight blush tinted over his cheeks as Soobin collects his things...shirtless.

Soobin raises an eyebrow. It’s positively weird how affected Beomgyu is by this, sure Soobin’s body is nice, but that literally isn’t a reason for Beomgyu to stop functioning (they’re literally enemies?).

“Hello? Earth to, Beomgyu! Are you gonna leave now?” Soobin says, waving his hands in front of the younger. That seems to snap Beomgyu out of his daze before he hurriedly nods and goes (runs) out the locker room.

“That was weird...?” Soobin mumbles under his breath, entirely confused by the situation.

—

Taehyun picks Soobin up after practice, making absolutely sure that he won’t stay late again.

Except as they exit the building, a very panicked boy nearly crashes into them.

He looks around their age, his fluffy blond hair falling over his eyes as he quickly glances at them with round eyes.

“Ah! I’m sorry—“ The boy yelps as he runs by, nearly tripping as he does so. It’s honestly kind of adorable, though, neither of them have seen this guy before.

“Who’s that?” Soobin questions once he’s gone.

“Wasn’t the hockey team getting another player? Maybe that’s him, I think he’s from America or something.” Taehyun says.

Soobin gives him a weird look. “How do you know that?”

Taehyun shrugs, an unreadable expression on his face, but Soobin brushes it off.

“Well either way...he was kinda cute.” Soobin states as they climb into Taehyun’s car.

Taehyun smirks, “you think so?” Soobin nods. “Seduce him with your skating skills then, he seems a little fruity, just like you.” Taehyun giggles, earning a light slap on his arm from Soobin.

“I’m not interested in a relationship thank you very much.”

“Right, you’re in a relationship with the ice, I forgot. But you know you can just kiss and dip.” Taehyun says with a wink.

Soobin rolls his eyes, “just drive the car.”

—

A few days later, as Beomgyu walks into the arena, he spots Soobin practicing alone on the ice. He excitedly creeps up onto the stands to where he quietly watches, hoping Soobin doesn’t notice him.

Sure enough, Soobin doesn’t notice him, the boy too engrossed in working on his moves to notice.

Soobin smoothly moves over the ice in a way that’s almost entrancing. His movements are done with such calculated elegance, the blades of his skates cleanly cutting across the ice.

Beomgyu accidentally ends up watching in aweh, his heart lurching when Soobin messes up one particular spin, stumbling forward on the ice. Usually Beomgyu might laugh at such a display, but Soobin’s agonized expression stops him.

“Fuck!” Soobin screams out, thinking no one else is there, an angry expression forming on his face.

“Being pissed off isn’t going to make you any better, doll.” Beomgyu yells, jumping down from the stands.

“Why the fuck are you here.” Soobin growls, his voice pure venom.

“Maybe I wanted to see your pretty little waist again.” Beomgyu says, leaning over the side boards.

“Fuck off.”

“Naw. Keep skating, I just want to watch your little show.”

Soobin glares, not looking convinced. “You’ve been doing that an awful lot lately.” Beomgyu shrugs. “Can you just leave—“

“You skating is so pretty!” Yells a new voice that makes both Beomgyu and Soobin jump.

Beomgyu glances to where Kai, their new teammate from America, runs into the arena.

He has a giddy smile on his face, his eyes sparkling as he looks at Soobin on the ice.

Really, Beomgyu doesn’t understand how this guy is even a hockey player. He completely contrasts the entire team and is just too happy. Strangely, he’s very good at playing, but still a little too sweet for Beomgyu’s taste.

Soobin suddenly skates away from Beomgyu, looking more interested in the newcomer and instead going over to him. Beomgyu gapes, how dare Soobin just abandon him.

“Thank you.” Soobin says as he stops in front of Kai.

“Oh—you’re the guy I almost ran into the other day, sorry about that.” Kai says.

“It’s okay. I’m Soobin by the way, you’re their new hockey player right?”

“Mhmm, I’m Kai! Also you seriously skate so well! I wanted to be a figure skater when I was little, but dad said it’s a sport for girls and that I should do hockey instead. I’m actually really good at hockey, but seeing you skate like this is so cool! You look like an angel out there!” Kai rambles on, Soobin’s face lighting up at the compliments, a slight blush on his cheeks.

Beomgyu narrows his eyes, not liking how he just got pushed aside here.

“Sorry—I talk a lot.” Kai mumbles after a minute, rubbing the back of his neck.

Soobin smiles, “it’s okay, your voice is nice so I don’t mind. I can show you some more of my skating some time if you want.”

“Oh! I would love that!” Kai says with a clap.

Beomgyu steps forward, a dangerous expression on his face. “So you’ll let him watch you but not me?” Beomgyu says bitterly.

“Your dumb ass pisses me off.” Soobin spits before returning his attention to Kai, a soft expression back on his face.

Beomgyu pouts, stalking off, feeling strangely angry, but he doesn’t know why.

—

Beomgyu walks to the locker room after realizing he forgot his phone charger (he seems to forget things a lot). Except as he’s about to step in...he hears something strange, his ears perking up.

He slowly peeks in, nearly letting out a gasp at what he sees.

Yeonjun has Kang Taehyun pinned up against the lockers, their lips messily slotted together as Taehyun whimpers beneath him.

Beomgyu’s eyes widen in shock as he stands frozen in place. He doesn’t know if he should just spin around and leave or confront them. He did not know about this...Yeonjun is his best friend and teammate but he is definitely not aware of whatever this is.

Beomgyu eventually clears his throat, having seen too much of this intimate kissing session. He slowly reveals himself, deciding he wants his phone charger (and also wants to confront Yeonjun about this).

Yeonjun and Taehyun jump away from each other, startled expressions on their faces as they panickedly look at Beomgyu. They look like deer caught in headlights with their kiss slicked lips and huge eyes.

“Fuck—Beom! W—why are you here...” Yeonjun asks, panic flashing in his eyes as he looks at his friend.

“I forgot my phone charger...but um—what were you guys doing just then?” Beomgyu smirks.

Taehyun doesn’t meet his eyes, instead staring at the floor, his face extremely red. Beomgyu wonders if Soobin knows about this.

“I—we...um...” Yeonjun tries but fails.

“Are you two like...dating?” Beomgyu questions.

“No...we just kiss sometimes...” Taehyun finally says in a quiet voice.

Beomgyu raises an eyebrow, “you just—right, well Yeonjun we are definitely talking about this later.” Beomgyu says, “does Soobin know about this?”

“No...please don’t tell him.” Taehyun mumbles.

“Why not?”

“Just don’t.” Taehyun growls, seeming to have found his confidence.

“Seriously please don’t tell anyone, Beomie.” Yeonjun says, his eyes pleading.

Beomgyu purses his lips, “fine, but me and you are still talking about this.”

He grabs his charger before swinging out the room, unsure of how to process this new information.

—

The next day, as Soobin and Taehyun are about to leave the arena, they spot Kai looking a little awkward off to the side of the hockey team.

It’s clear that the hockey team is finished with their own practice, just talking amongst themselves now. Except Kai is off to the side, completely unincluded and a little sad looking.

It bothers Soobin, so he decides to walk up to Kai with Taehyun in tow.

“Kai?” Soobin says when he reaches him. Kai glances over to him, his face instantly lighting up.

“Oh, Soobin! Hi!” Kai says cheerily.

“Wanna come hang out with me and my friend Taehyun? You look a little lonely over here.”

“I would love that! I guess I don’t really fit in with these guys yet...”

“Well, we’re much better company then them anyways.” Taehyun adds, though he gives a sort of longing gaze to the blue haired guy but it goes unnoticed by Soobin.

Together the three go off, Kai happily leaving behind his new hockey team, though no one really notices.

Well...Beomgyu does.

—

“Why the fuck does Soobin like the new guy so much?” Beomgyu mutters to Yeonjun off to the side.

“Maybe because he’s cute and nice?” Yeonjun offers, “why? Are you jealous or something?”

“No? Why the hell would I be, it’s just weird is all.” Beomgyu grumbles, before his eyes widen, seemingly realizing something.

“Wait! We haven’t talked about what I saw in the locker room yesterday yet!” Beomgyu yelps, Yeonjuns eyes turning panicked.

“Shush! Be quiet about it!” Yeonjun hisses, shoving Beomgyu into an isolated hallway where no one can hear them.

“You secretive bitch—how could you not tell me that you’ve been making out with Choi Soobin’s best friend.” Beomgyu whisper yells.

Yeonjun frowns, glaring at Beomgyu. “Well you really weren’t supposed to find out—it was something we were keeping on the down low because it’s not important.”

“You had him pressed to the lockers with your tongue down his throat. How is this not important?”

“Stop—we just drunkenly kissed at a party once and decided it was good enough to keep doing it...but there’s no strings attached or feelings involved...just kissing in secret.”

Beomgyu raises an eyebrow, “you really don’t have a crush on him or anything...?”

“Taehyun has made it very clear that he doesn’t want anything more out of this except for kissing...so it really doesn’t matter, I get what I get.”

Beomgyu pulls on the end of Yeonjun’s hoodie, the gears turning in his head.

“So you do like him?”

Yeonjun only gives him an annoyed look. “Can we stop talking about this now?”

“Fine, but I’m not gonna forget about this...also you totally like him and I’m not letting that fact go.”

“Remind me why we are friends again?

“Because I’m top shit, baby.”

Chapter Text

Soobin really should never be left alone at the rink, his self control is clearly terrible when it comes to (over) practicing. His need to skate is just far too extreme, a hunger that can never quite be satisfied no matter what.

He’s been holding back from doing extra practice for the past few weeks though, with of course Taehyun’s watchful eye. The younger boy makes sure Soobin doesn’t work harder than he should, quite literally watching over him like a goddamn hawk.

It’s annoying, yes, but Soobin is somewhat grateful. If he keeps burning himself out until he’s broken, he might never be able to skate again. Though...he really can’t ever stop the need, even knowing the consequences, he still pushes himself too hard.

Except it seems like tonight is an opportunity for that exact very bad thing he craves to do. Taehyun left the rink early, leaving an unattended Soobin behind. A mistake on his part, Taehyun has too much faith in him.

Soobin feels rusty with such little practice lately, like his skills are dwindling away with every second he doesn’t skate. So he desperately just has to do a little extra practice...Taehyun doesn’t need to know.

Soobin slowly makes his way back onto the rink, his legs and feet still aching from earlier, he really can’t bring himself to care though. The pure rush of just being able to skate again is enough to suppress such bothersome pains.

However, just as he finally starts to skate, a loud voice suddenly yells at him, nearly causing him to fall.

“Choi Soobin get the hell of the ice!”

He glances up to the stands where none other than Beomgyu is running down. Of course he couldn’t have one peaceful moment away from that annoying hockey player.

“What do you want?“ Soobin questions, irritation growing with every second that Beomgyu looks at him.

“I saw you already practicing earlier today!”

“So what!” Soobin yells, shaking his head. He swiftly skates away, ignoring Beomgyu’s loud complaints behind him.

Except minutes later, Beomgyu is laced up in his own hockey skates and making his way onto the ice after Soobin. He also has a hockey stick in his hand, hitting it on the ice to assert his presence.

“What are you doing—?” Soobin huffs as Beomgyu hops onto the ice.

“Not letting you skate.” Beomgyu says. “You really wanna end up dead in the locker room again?”

“I wasn’t dead—and I won’t, stop being dramatic and get away from me.” Soobin groans, turning away.

“Get your ass over here!”

“No!”

Soobin skates off around the rink, but Beomgyu is in quick pursuit of him, an excited grin on his lips. They’re both incredibly fast, making speedy loops around the rink as an impromptu chase occurs.

It’s no question that Beomgyu is quick, maybe even quicker than Soobin. But then again, he’s the best on his team for a reason.

He easily catches up to Soobin in no time, but that could also be because Soobin is tired from practicing earlier. Either way, Soobin isn’t getting away.

Beomgyu throws his hockey stick off to the side as he gets close, it clatters to the ice as he barrels towards Soobin.

Though, Beomgyu misjudges his own speed and accidentally crashes directly into Soobin. He easily knocks the figure skater down, Soobin hitting the ice with a thud while Beomgyu loses balance and falls forward as well.

“Ow—fuck!” Soobin yelps, trying to brace his fall onto the ice. Beomgyu falls directly on top of him, causing the back of his head to hit the ice. It’s like something right out of a kdrama but with a lot more swearing and a lot less romance.

They both flail around, Beomgyu’s thighs straddling Soobin’s stomach, his hands on either side of his head.

“Get the hell off of me—“ Soobin whines, shoving at Beomgyu.

“I’m—trying.” Beomgyu mutters as he tries to roll off Soobin without cutting him with his skates. He of course fails, Soobin struggling beneath him and making it near impossible to safely get up.

“Stop moving.” Beomgyu growls, placing his hands on Soobin’s chest to keep the other boy in place.

“Get your hands off of me!” Soobin spits, grabbing Beomgyu’s wrists.

“Let go—I can’t get up with you attacking me like this.”

“You attacked me first!”

“It was an accident!”

“Well you’re supposed to be good at skating you dumbass, what happened to that?” Soobin jabs.

“Shut up and let me get off—don’t touch my fucking thighs!” Beomgyu yelps, his voice going a little higher pitched. Soobin giggles at Beomgyu’s reaction as his hands press onto Beomgyu’s thighs.

The hockey player's cheeks turn pink, Soobin cocks his eyebrow, intrigued by this. He decides to test for more reaction, lightly squeezing the top of Beomgyu’s thighs. Beomgyu splutters, sitting back and slapping at Soobin’s teasing hands.

“Stop it!” Beomgyu cries, his ears burning red.

Soobin grins but obliges, having enough fun (and payback) with Beomgyu. He stops moving as well, letting Beomgyu finally roll off of him.

“I’m still not letting you skate.” Beomgyu mumbles after he recovers, rubbing the back of his neck.

Soobin laughs, he’ll give in this time, but only because Beomgyu’s currently a blushing mess.

—

How Taehyun ended up dragging Soobin to one of the hockey guys' big ass parties, was a question in itself. Though Taehyun was insistent for whatever reason, so Soobin had agreed.

Soobin honestly didn’t mind parties, and he also heard that Kai was going to be there too, so perhaps tonight he could shoot his shot.

Maybe he could drink a little too, being absolutely beat from constant practice, he deserves a break like this.

—

Taehyun almost immediately searches out Yeonjun when he arrives at the party, his sole reason for coming after all. He’s sure Soobin will be fine, he’ll find Kai eventually anyways.

Taehyun drags Yeonjun into a lonely closet before pinning his hands above his head and pressing their lips together. Yeonjun happily let's Taehyun kiss him, their plush lips sliding against each other.

Taehyun shamelessly moves to connect his lips to the side of Yeonjun’s neck, kissing over the sensitive skin before biting at his Adam's apple. Yeonjun let’s out a strangled whimper, letting the younger tease him however he likes as usual.

“Don’t...leave—hh...marks.” Yeonjun groans.

“I’ll do whatever I want /to you/.” Taehyun says, playfully nipping at Yeonjun’s neck.

Yeonjun bites his lip, “please...my team can’t...see them.”

“Fine,” Taehyun pouts, instead moving to press his mouth against Yeonjun’s again.

Yeonjun hums, Taehyun letting his hands go so Yeonjun can slide them up his waist. The younger boy curves against him, their mouths moving together in hot bliss.

Yeonjuns heart however burns. He wants more than just secret kisses in dark closets. He hopelessly wishes Taehyun would like him for more than just this. Though, if this is all that he can have...he’ll take it...even if it breaks his heart more and more...

—

“Oh! Hi, Kai!” Soobin yells, wandering over to Kai who he spots alone in the kitchen at the party. He’s since lost Taehyun, but he really doesn’t mind, more interested in Kai anyways.

Kai turns to Soobin, “hello! What’re you doing here?” He asks, slight confusion evident on his face.

Soobin shrugs, placing his drink down. “Taehyun dragged me here for some reason. You don’t really look like you’re having fun?”

Kai shakes his head, “not really...I’m not much of a drinker or party person. The team made me come though, but no one’s really talking to me...”

“Well, I can keep you company, if you want.” Soobin suggests, giving Kai a blushed smile, his dimples popping.

“I would like that.”

Soobin leans closer to Kai, the pretty scent of oranges unmistakably on him as usual. He’s since come to like this smell, wanting to bury his face in the younger boys soft blond curls.

“You smell really nice, you know that?” Soobin giggles, maybe he’s had a few too many drinks.

Kai pokes his cheeks, “you’re drunk aren’t you?”

“Maybe,” Soobin hiccups, still smiling at Kai.

“Silly. At least you can entertain me now.”

—

Beomgyu watches as Soobin stands with Kai in the kitchen, leaning a little too close to him for Beomgyu’s liking. It’s clear Soobin has had a few too many drinks, his blushed cheeks and swaying movements are enough of a give away.

Beomgyu huffs, having since lost Yeonjun to very obviously Taehyun. Those two are probably off kissing somewhere and all Beomgyu can do is watch Soobin flirt with Kai.

He doesn’t like it, so he decides it needs to be stopped. Perhaps he just wants to ruin Soobins night (or it’s something else).

“Hi, doll.” Beomgyu says, quickly finding his way to Soobin’s side.

Soobin glances over to him, pure annoyance shining in his eyes, Beomgyu smirks.

“Um—can you give me a minute, Kai?” Soobin says to Kai. The younger boy nods, giving Beomgyu a bright smile before Soobin pulls him away.

“Can’t you see I’m busy?” Soobin growls once he gets Beomgyu outside on the deck, jabbing his finger at his chest.

Beomgyu shrugs, “I don’t like boys flirting with my teammates.”

“As if you give two shits about him.”

“Well either way, I’m telling you he’s off limits.”

“You don’t have a god damn say in what he does—if I kiss him that’s none of your fucking business.” Soobin spits, his fingers curling in the collar of Beomgyu’s shirt.

Beomgyu narrows his eyes, “don’t test me, Choi Soobin.” Soobin raises his eyebrow, noticing the strange anger emitting from the younger boy.

“Is little Beomgyu jealous?” Soobin smirks, stepping into Beomgyu’s space. “Do you want to be kissed by me? Is that why you’re being like this?”

Beomgyu flushes, averting his eyes. “N—no! Fuck off and get away from my teammates!”

Soobin leans forward, his breath ghosting over Beomgyu’s ear. “You can touch if you want.” Beomgyu blanches, standing frozen in place. The figure skater only laughs, stepping back again to take in Beomgyu’s flushed appearance.

“Come threaten me when you can actually hold your own.” Soobin says with a wink before striding back to Kai.

Beomgyu seriously hates (confident) Soobin.

—

As Soobin happily sips his drink and talks some more with Kai now in the living room, their moment is soon disturbed.

“Kai? Are you really letting that bitch flirt with you?” A guy from the hockey team says suddenly, leaning over the back of the couch.

A few people turn and look, the hockey guys friends laughing along with him. Soobin bites the inside of his cheek, keeping himself calm.

“Oh—um—“ Kai tries, glancing to Soobin for help.

“Go get fucked.” Soobin growls, standing up in front of Kai. “Leave us the fuck alone.” The guy rolls his eyes, completely ignoring Soobin.

“Don’t tell us you like guys too, Kai. I mean, you do seem a bit weird but—“

“The fuck is going on over here?” Beomgyu says suddenly, stepping into the living room.

“I guess Kai’s just like figure skater boy here.”

“Shut up!” Soobin yells, shoving the guy back. Kai flinches, his eyes wide, more people turning to look.

Soobin has dealt with his fair share of bullies and people trying to hurt him all his life. Not only constantly being berated by many people for being a boy doing figure skating, but also by other figure skaters. Too many people said he was too tall or not that perfect shape to figure skate. Of course, he easily proved them wrong, quickly surpassing all of them. Though, it still hurt, the cruel jabs and taunts, but he’s since learned to bite back.

“Oh? You fight back? That’s cute!”

Before anyone can react, the guy swings a punch at Soobin, his fist connecting with Soobin’s cheek. Soobin stumbles back, clutching his cheek that flares up with hot pain.

Kai jumps up to Soobins side, his hands holding onto Soobin protectively. Beomgyu stands wide eyed, unable to move.

“Want some more!” The guy screams, aiming another blow at Soobin.

Except someone stops him, a hand wrapping around his wrist and stopping him before he can hit Soobin again.

Yeonjun.

“What the hell is happening out here!” Yeonjun yells, Taehyun at his side.

Both their lips are rather pink and swollen, but Soobin doesn’t question it, too busy with the current situation.

Soobin smirks, seeing an opening as Yeonjun holds the guy back. He swings his own fist, easily sending a punch to the guy's jaw. Yeonjun gasps, not having expected that. Beomgyu also lets out a gasp, but still stays completely frozen.

“Soobin!” Taehyun yelps, rushing forward to his friend's side and pulling him back.

Though, Soobin knows pain better than anyone else and this doesn’t even hurt. He grins before walking off, Taehyun and Kai in tow.

Beomgyu only stares after him, confused and slightly interesting. Who knew Soobin could be such a little menace.

Maybe Soobin really isn’t just a pretty little figure skater after all.

—

Nightmares plague Soobin’s mind that night, painful past memories resurfacing.

He wakes up screaming, tears rushing down his face as ugly incidents replay in his mind. He sobs out, clasping his hand over his mouth.

Whenever he had nightmares or bad days when he was little...he had his mom. She would always hug him tightly, gently combing through his hair as she held him in her arms.

She was always there to bring Soobin back down...she was the reason he kept going and didn’t give up after all. His mom was enough to make the people who abused him not hurt so much.

But now Soobin is all alone...

—

Soobin barely manages to drag himself to the rink the next day, his absolutely sleepless night weighing him down.

He walks in sporting a bruised cheek and equally dark purple circles beneath his eyes. He’s probably a little paler too, feeling like absolute shit.

Soobin can’t even remember if he ate breakfast? Does he really wanna skate today? Maybe he’ll just watch Taehyun, or he’ll just pass out on the stands.

Beomgyu stares at him as he passes by, not saying anything. He noticeably zeroes in on the bruise as well as Soobins general all around terrible appearance. He looks like hell and it’s very apparent.

Soobin sits down on the stands, watching as the hockey team practices. He worries a little for Kai after last night. He hopes the team doesn’t bully him...he’ll have to talk to him about it later. Kai doesn’t deserve to be hurt like that...Soobin wouldn’t wish that on anyone else.

Taehyun plops down next to him a few minutes later, frowning at his friend's sad appearance.

“You look awful...did you have a bad sleep?” Taehyun asks, wrapping his arm around Soobin to pull him against him.

Soobin rests his head on Taehyun’s shoulder, closing his eyes. “Nightmares...you know how it is.”

Taehyun nods, knowing about Soobin’s nightmares. “You can lay down on my lap if you want. Catch up on some sleep, I probably won’t go on the ice for a few more hours.”

“Okay...thank you.” Soobin says, shifting to lay his head on Taehyun’s lap. He silently thanks his best friend, his eyes already feeling heavy.

Soobin falls asleep in minutes, completely exhausted. Taehyun combs through his hair, knowing that’s what Soobin’s mom used to do for him. He hates seeing Soobin in this state, wanting to do as much as he can to make the older boy feel better.

Soobin can fight back these days and hold his own...but he’s still delicate and can be broken all over again.

—

Beomgyu and Yeonjun walk up the stairs, spotting Taehyun with Soobin.

Beomgyu sees Soobin completely passed out on Taehyun's lap, the figure skater looking strangely vulnerable.

“Is he okay?” Yeonjun asks, sitting down next to Taehyun.

“He will be,” Taehyun replies, glancing down at the sleeping boy.

“Last night...sorry about that...” Yeonjun tries, looking guilty even though it wasn’t his fault.

Taehyun shrugs, “your team is full of those bastards, it’s expected. How about you just don’t let those ones hurt, Kai as well.” Taehyun mumbles. He doesn’t look happy, Beomgyu can easily tell that. He can also tell that Yeonjun looks ashamed, but then again Yeonjun likes Taehyun and his very teammate hurt his best friend.

“I’ll talk to my team about...it won’t happen again.” Beomgyu says in an effort to help Yeonjun’s guilty ass out.

“It will happen again.” Taehyun huffs. “Can you please go now too, you’re going to wake Soobin up.” Taehyun glares up at them, his eyes dark. Yeonjun shrinks back, quickly obeying.

“Sorry.” Yeonjun whispers before he tugs Beomgyu away. Yeonjun really must be gone for this boy to be listening like a dog. Usually he’s defiant and loud, but around Taehyun, it’s nearly opposite. Beomgyu finds it weird, love is weird.

Beomgyu’s mind wanders back to Soobin, a part of him wonders if he’s okay.

Last night Soobin was so confident...but today, sleeping on Taehyun’s lap, he looks like he could so easily be shattered.

Beomgyu groans, shaking the stupid thought away...he doesn’t care about Choi Soobin.

Chapter Text

“You miss Soobin or something?” Yeonjun laughs as he walks up to Beomgyu staring longingly at the rink.

Beomgyu glares at him, “hell no! Has all that kissing made you go crazy or something?” He groans, rolling his eyes.

Yeonjun shrugs, “we’ll you’re just staring at the rink with this weird ass expression."

"Well I’m just thinking.”

“About Soobin.”

Beomgyu huffs, playfully shoving Yeonjun away, causing both of them to giggle.

“Seriously though—is everything good?” Yeonjun asks a few seconds later when Beomgyu’s expression falls again. It’s clear he’s in one of his moods, the usually hyper boy far too subdued for normality.

Beomgyu slowly nods, pursing his lips. “Just family stuff.”

“I’m here if you ever want to talk.” Yeonjun whispers, wishing Beomgyu would actually talk to him one day.

“I know.”

Of course, like usual, Beomgyu doesn’t say anything. It’s clear he’s not going to say anything today...Yeonjun wonders if he ever will.

It’s one thing that bothers Yeonjun unlike anything else, how secretive Beomgyu is about his personal life. Not even his best friend knows what goes on behind closed doors, Beomgyu only ever speaking of his family in vague ways.

Then again, Beomgyu isn’t even very talkative when it comes to his emotions or anything personal. He keeps things to himself until he eventually breaks down. Yeonjun knows best, having once seen one of those breakdowns for himself. Though, Beomgyu still always refuses to talk about things, continually bottling everything up.

Perhaps talking about things makes him feel vulnerable, after all, Yeonjun knows that Beomgyu doesn’t like being seen as weak. He’s got a sort of power thing going, liking being the one on top with the crown.

Yeonjun sighs, throwing his arm over his friend's shoulder. “Please tell me what’s going on one day.” Beomgyu still says nothing, an unreadable expression on his face.

It’s useless, Yeonjun knows, but he will still try every time. He feels like a terrible friend doing nothing to help his clearly upset friend. But then again, he can’t help if he doesn’t know what’s going on.

“Wanna play a quick game, just you and I?” Beomgyu asks suddenly, his expression looking weirdly brighter. It’s a facade if anything, a false happiness to cover how he’s actually feeling.

“Sure,” Yeonjun smiles, pushing down his swirling thoughts. If this is what Beomgyu wants to do, if he wants to keep hiding things from his best friend, Yeonjun can only smile and go along with it.

Still...he worries.

—

“Beomgyu! Explain why the hell you are always coming home so god damn late!” Beomgyu’s mother yells as soon as he steps into the house after practice (and a few hours long stop at a park).

She eyes him up, judgmental eyes pulling him apart. “You’re failing all your classes and here you are staying out all fucking night long!”

“Just shut up will you!” Beomgyu screams, anger bubbling up inside of him.

“You ungrateful little bastard!” His father yells, striding into the room. It’s like they were just waiting for him...waiting just so they can make him miserable.

“Fuck you.” Beomgyu spits, not caring about the consequences, only feeling pure hatred seeing their cruel faces.

His father hits him, a harsh slap to his cheek that instantly flares up in hot pain. Beomgyu crashes into the wall from the impact, his head smashing into it.

He bites down a cry of pain, everything briefly spinning.

“We give you everything and you continue not to respect us!” His father continues. “The least you could do is try to be a good son!”

“Why should I respect you when you don’t respect me! What? Just because I don’t want to take over your fucking business and like to kiss boys you think you’re aloud to fucking hit me?” He earns another slap for that one, his fathers rings catching on the skin, tearing into his cheek.

“I can’t bring myself to respect such a failure of a son! Everyone else's boys are in top schools in Korea and you’re here failing basic college classes!”

“Because I fucking don’t want to be like you!” Beomgyu shoves past them, running up to his room and slamming the door shut behind him.

His cheek throbs, blood leaking from the open wound.

Every night...it’s the same.

Beomgyu was supposed to take over the family business, but his failing grades and boredom for business just wouldn’t allow that. He was their oldest son and what they wanted to be a model child. Though, he was the complete opposite of what they wanted. They detested him for what he couldn’t be. He wasn’t their oh so perfect son and they hated him for it.

Of course, his parents have always been somewhat neglectful, seeing him as an object rather than a person. They wanted to use him for their own business means, but he just wasn’t like them.

Hockey really is the only thing he’s good at, the only thing he actually enjoys. He took it up on his own accord, not forced into it by his parents.

It’s always been a sort of escape for him, a way out of his life of expectations.

When he plays hockey...he’s untouchable.

...

A few minutes later, after the house seems to somewhat calm down. Jungwon, Beomgyu’s younger brother, creeps into his room.

Jungwon is their favorite son, everything Beomgyu couldn’t be. In their eyes he’s perfect, following their every command, not straying away like Beomgyu. Though, Beomgyu secretly prays that when Jungwon gets older, he’ll fall just like him.

Jungwon gently closes the door behind himself before plopping down on Beomgyu’s bed with a big cheeky smile.

“Dumbass, why’re you in my room?” Beomgyu groans, kicking at his brother.

Jungwon pouts, “I heard them yelling at you.”

“So what? You wanted to see if I was crying or something?” Beomgyu laughs, unable to hide the affection for his brother.

Sure they’re almost opposites, but Jungwon is the only one who actually treats him with any respect or love in his family.

“Maybe I did.” Junwon grins, crossing his legs. “But for real, why haven’t you moved out yet? They treat you like shit.”

“Only cause I’m not their golden child like you.” Beomgyu shakes his head. “And do I look like I have any fucking money?”

Jungwon rolls his eyes, “well get some money then. Unless you want them to keep hitting you.” Jungwon says, poking at Beomgyu’s bloody cheek. “Or go stay with Yeonjun, I’m sure he’d let you—“

“—He doesn’t need to know about this.”

“Why not?” Beomgyu only glares at him. Jungwon frowns but doesn’t press on any more, taking Beomgyu’s unusual seriousness as enough of a hint.

Some things are meant to stay hidden.

“Well, wanna play some mario kart for a bit?” Jungwon questions a few minutes later, the silence becoming far too insufferable.

“Finally you say something worth my time!” Beomgyu smirks. “I’m totally gonna beat your ass.”

—

Soobin steps into the arena early in the morning, the slightly chilled air washing over him.

It’s been a few days since he’s been here, having had some out of city competitions.

It’s comforting, being back in this place again, not having the stress of competition hanging over his head for the moment.

Of course it was refreshing getting to skate in other places and against people (and ranking first), but he did end up missing this place a bit.

He sits down on the stands, watching the hockey team skate around...one thing he definitely did not miss about this place.

He sees Beomgyu glance up to him before quickly looking away, Soobin smiles, it seems Beomgyu’s eyes still always find their way to him.

After what feels like an hour, the hockey team finally makes their way off the ice.

Soobin watches, involuntarily searching out Beomgyu.

His eyes easily find Beomgyu, watching as he pulls his helmet off. Though, Soobin can’t help but notice the angry red mark on Beomgyu’s cheek. It looks like he was hit by someone...but maybe he just got hurt during one of their hockey games. Hockey is a pretty aggressive sport after all, so really, it’s probably nothing out of the ordinary. Soobin brushes it off, instead turning his attention to...how pretty Beomgyu looks.

He blinks, staring as Beomgyu runs his hands through his sweat slicked hair, exposing his forehead. Soobin inhales sharply, not liking the way he feels his cheeks heating up just looking at Beomgyu.

Of course, as if on command, Beomgyu strides right up to Soobin.

Soobin shoots him a glare, praying he doesn’t notice how red his face is.

“So you’re back.” Beomgyu says before pausing, a confused look on his face. “Why the hell are you so red, are you sick or something?”

“He just thinks you’re hot.” Taehyun says suddenly, walking up to them before sitting down next to Soobin.

“W—what?!” Soobin splutters, lightly hitting Taehyun’s shoulder.

Taehyun shrugs, “I’m just pointing out the obvious.”

Beomgyu laughs off to the side, a stupid smirk on his face as he looks at Soobin.

“Stop looking at me like that!” Soobin yells, his face only getting redder.

“You kind of look like a tomato.” Beomgyu laughs. “You really must think I’m ultra hot.”

“Fuck you.” Soobin mutters, his face still impossibly red. Some things he seriously did not miss about this arena (or did he?).

—

“What do you think about locking Beomgyu and Soobin in a closet together?” Yeonjun whispers to Kai off to the side as they watch Beomgyu and Soobin bicker.

“What?! Why?” Kai says, his innocent eyes wide.

“Come on, it’ll be funny!” Yeonjun laughs.

He’s since been hanging around Kai more, not liking the way Kai seemed like an outcast in his own team. Yeonjun’s team might not be the nicest, or most welcoming, but that sure as hell doesn’t mean Yeonjun isn’t. And really, he’s taken quite a liking for this boy.

Kai pouts, clearly not wanting to say no to Yeonjun. “F—fine...but if Soobin gets mad at me —“

“He won’t. Really, don’t worry, I’ll even tell him it was my idea after.” Yeonjun grins, excitement rushing through him. Nothing is more fun than messing with Beomgyu, finally he can get back at him for all the teasing about Taehyun.

“Alright.” Kai huffs, “let’s do this.”

—

Kai awkwardly walks up to Soobin, thinking of how to possibly (inconspicuously) get him in the closet.

“Um—Soobin? Can you go in there for a second.” Kai asks, pointing to the little storage closet.

“The closet? Why...?” Soobin questions, looking a little hesitant.

Kai smiles, using his puppy charms to his advantage. “I need you to get something for me.”

“Okay...?” Soobin opens the closet, slowly stepping inside. “What did you—“

Yeonjun rushes over with Beomgyu, shoving him inside the closet as well before Soobin can even finish his sentence. The door slams behind them, both of them left inside.

Beomgyu yelps, crashing into Soobin in the dark. It’s too small for the both of them, their bodies ending up almost pressed together.

“What the hell—get off of me!” Soobin yells, shoving at Beomgyu.

“Ow—fucker.” Beomgyu groans as his back slams into the door. “They locked us in here!”

Soobin huffs, wondering how Yeonjun managed to force Kai into this little prank.

“Why are your hands on my hips!” Beomgyu shrieks when Soobin accidentally touches him while trying to find the doorknob.

“I can’t fucking see!” Soobin spits, but his grip still remains on Beomgyu’s hips.

“Oh you wanna play that game?” Beomgyu growls, moving his hands up to Soobin’s chest.

“You know this doesn’t affect me like it affects you, right?” Soobin whispers, leaning closer to Beomgyu. “I’ve told you before...you can touch...I don’t mind.”

Beomgyu’s breath stutters, electricity sparking in his foam filled mind. Soobin’s low voice strikes a cord in him, flipping him inside out.

He feels the way Soobin’s hands tighten around him, his fingers digging against his hip bones. It’s senseless how Beomgyu so strangely wants to curve against the taller boy, to press their bodies somehow even closer.

Beomgyu doesn’t know why his consciousness escapes him at this moment, or why he becomes nearly pliant in Soobin’s hands.

Perhaps it’s a hidden want. Or maybe he’s just desperately touch starved and Soobin’s hands on him are doing the trick of taming that devil inside of him.

Silence falls between them, both their hands remaining on eachother for whatever reason.

Soobin surely notices the way Beomgyu acts in this weird way, though he doesn’t say anything.

A few seconds later, a guilty looking Kai opens the door, both of them nearly falling out.

“You know the door was unlocked...” Kai whispers.

“You’re have got to be fucking kidding me.” Beomgyu says, coming back to the right state of mind. “Where the fuck is Yeonjun—this was his idea wasn’t it?” He has to get away with Soobin, he can feel the way he’s looking at him, pulling him apart just like his parents.

Kai quickly nods, “he’s over there.” He says, pointing off in the distance, easily giving Yeonjun up.

“CHOI YEONJUN!” Beomgyu screams before running off after a very panicked looking Yeonjun.

...

“I’m sorry I asked you to go in there...Yeonjun made me.” Kai apologizes to Soobin once Beomgyu is gone.

Soobin moves to ruffle his hair, a fond expression on his face. “It’s okay. How about you buy me ice cream tonight though?”

“Deal!”

—

Ice cream quickly turns to soju, messy sweetness becoming foolish bitterness.

It’s just the two of them together, their minds heavy and alcohol dazed.

They end up back at the rink, it being far too late for anyone to disturb them. It’s their own little paradise to indulge in woeful mistakes.

After skating until their legs become numb, they stumble onto the stands, Soobin pulling Kai down onto his lap as he sits down.

“What if we tried kissing?” Soobin says, nearly breathless from giggling, his breath laced with the bitter scent of ignorance.

“Hyung—“ Kai whines, “you know I don’t like you like that.”

Soobin squeezes Kai’s thighs, “I know...but we could just kiss for fun.” He feels a little disappointed, having somewhat liked Kai, but he’ll still settle for whatever this is.

Kai sighs, licking his own soju stricken lips as he looks down at Soobin. “Fine—but only cuz you look so pretty.”

—

Beomgyu shoves his way into the arena, another fight with his parents weighing down on him, one that caused him to run straight here.

It’s late, he shouldn’t even be here, but he just needs to get away.

Tears burn in his eyes, anger spiking through him as his mind keeps replaying their cruel words.

Except as he walks inside, he freezes, hearing sudden giggling, his rage dissolving.

He glances to where the giggling comes from, his eyes widening at what he sees.

Kai sits in Soobin’s lap, the older boy's hands all over him, his fingers tight around his thighs. They’re both laughing together, Soobin looking at Kai with stars in his eyes.

Except it’s not that that makes Beomgyu burn with anger...it’s the fact that they’re...kissing...

He stares, watching as their mouths press together in a storm of hungry chaos.

Beomgyu should leave...there’s a sick feeling in his stomach...but he can’t bring himself to go.

Soobin moves to kiss up Kai’s neck, the younger boy whining in his lap. Beomgyu’s stomach flips with every cotton candy sound that fills the silence. There’s static in his mind, everything racing (including his heart).

Soobin’s eyes fall onto Beomgyu, a dark glint in his eyes as he bites a pathway up the side of Kai’s neck.

Beomgyu pales, a strange feeling blooming inside of him as Soobin keeps his eyes on him the entire time.

Soobin knows he’s there...Soobin has known the entire time.

Beomgyu runs, confusion and horror circling through his mind. His cheeks are flushed, his heart is pounding, the picture of their lips against each other burning in his mind.

More than not, he’s angry, somehow even angrier then when his parents screamed at him.

He’s jealous and Soobin knows that.

Beomgyu crouches down on the side of the road when he gets far enough away, panting for breath, strange nausea splitting through him.

Deceitful jealousy pricks at his skin like a needle that’s injecting him with this icy hot envy. It sits thick in his veins, moving around in a way that feels too wrong. He hates it, he hates how it stirs in him, how it makes him sick.

Soobin’s mouth against Kai’s neck, their lips sliding together, the desperate whines...it all plagues his mind like some twisted nightmare.

The thoughts don’t leave, it’s all he sees, the image of them together simply sticking.

Soobin’s eyes sit at the forefront of his mind, those pretty diabolical eyes who had watched him the entire time.

Soobin saw just how jealous Beomgyu really was, purposely creating more of a show just to get beneath his skin. It was all a ploy, their moment in the closet giving light to what Soobin has always known.

Beomgyu shivers, feels distant, his mouth tasting like acid from throwing up...he can’t even remember doing that.

His parents' words still sting...Soobin only adding to the fire inside of him.

He’s close to that breaking point...he’s so close to that 100.

His lip bleeds as he bites down on it, his teeth piercing the skin as he thinks. A thin line of blood drips down his chin, staining the pavement below him.

If this is the game that Soobin wants to play...then Beomgyu will happily play along. Though, he won’t be the pretty figure skaters puppet...no...Soobin will be his puppet.

Beomgyu has been beat down his entire life. He’s been shoved through the dirt until he can’t breathe too many times...he won’t let Soobin control him too.

Soobin fights pretty, too much like his elegant, calculated figure skating. But Beomgyu fights dirty, he’s been bruised playing hockey one too many times to take things so delicately.

If this is a game. Soobin doesn’t stand a chance.

Chapter Text

Soobin rolls around in his bed, a sickly headache weighing down on him from last night's affairs.

The taste of Kai still lingers on his tongue, though, the aftertaste somehow not as sweet as it was last night.

Really, his mouth is filled with bitter regret.

He shouldn’t have kissed Kai, no matter how badly he wanted to taste, he shouldn’t have done it. Kai didn’t even like him back, that was enough sign in itself, yet he still didn’t listen. He should’ve never indulged in kissing him...now...Soobin can’t get it out of his head.

Then there’s Beomgyu...he had watched the entire time, and in turn, Soobin had given him a show. It was wrong, entirely cheap and disgusting, but Soobin had still done it. He feels a little guilty having used Kai like that just to get at Beomgyu.

It’s strange, the way Soobin was more pleased having Beomgyu’s gaze on him rather than the feel of Kai’s lips against his own.

Maybe he just liked the way Beomgyu looked so sick with jealousy, something about that lighting a fire inside of him. It was right on display, Beomgyu’s exposed and vulnerable jealousy...and Soobin had so easily lost himself to that high.

Perhaps their little game has turned into something more personal now, their superiority competition twisting into something else entirely.

Soobin sighs, pushing himself out of bed against his body's desire to just stay beneath the blankets. He can’t keep laying with these thoughts, he needs some sort of temporary relief from the mess of his mind.

He shuffles to the bathroom, swinging open the cabinet to find some pain killers for his headache. Really, he’s not in much of a mood to go out today. He should probably just stay at home today rather than going to the rink.

He decides that maybe a bath will help with all the tension that is pulling him down. Perhaps it will take away his stress of everything for a bit, be that temporary relief.

The idea of having to eventually face both Kai and Beomgyu is anxiety inducing enough in itself. The marks he left on Kai will linger for days...reminding him of his own mistakes. And Beomgyu...well...that is something else entirely for too many reasons.

“Fuck...” Soobin whispers, shaking his head as he stares in the mirror, noticing the marks on his own neck. He blinks at himself, wondering how his life got so messy like this. Everything was normal not so long ago, even his petty fights with Beomgyu were relatively normal. But now, somehow things had shifted, making everything a downhill spiral.

Soobin turns the handle to run the bath, watching with empty eyes as the water slowly rises.

The water gently splashes around as he stared at it, his sad reflection looking back at him. Soobin exhales, rubbing over his face before reaching to shut the water off.

He steps into the bath, sinking himself down into its shallow depths. The water is a little too hot. It burns at his skin, but he manages to ignore the slight tinge of pain. Instead, he lets himself melt away in the burning heat, letting himself momentarily forget everything as the heat encompasses him.

Soobin lets himself fall back, closing his eyes as he sinks beneath the water, the heat becoming more bearable. It surrounds him, slowly trailing against his skin as he submerges himself.

He remains beneath the quiet of the water even when his lungs start to scream for air. He holds himself beneath the vast blue, keeping himself down like he’s a caged animal.

Though, when the pull in his lungs becomes too painful, he shoves himself back up above the water. He gasps for air, his lungs drinking up the cool around him.

Soobin sits back, still panting as the water drips from his skin. He’s unsure of why he kept himself down for so long. Perhaps it’s the guilt that rests in his stomach...maybe just the fear of chaos that suddenly wanders so closely behind him.

Soobin lets out a deep breath, reaching to play some music from his phone before closing his eyes again. This time he doesn’t let himself fall under, instead he lets the music wash over him as a comfortable temporary daze.

—

After a few hours, the bath water becomes far too cold to just keep sitting in. Soobin manages to drag himself up, his shivering enough motivation for him to get out of the bath.

Once he dries himself off and gets into some warm pajamas, he decides to bake some cookies.

He’s not the best at baking, but it’s something he’s fond of nonetheless.

When he was younger, he always used to bake with his mom. Some of his favorite memories with his mom are of them baking together. It’s something that’s very special to him, something so inherently personal. He remembers when they would laugh together, flour going everywhere as they played around.

Soobin can still never recreate how good her baking was, but he still tries. She’d probably be proud of him either way.

It’s a good way for him to destress too, it eases up the burden of everything for a bit. It calms that inner turmoil that tugs inside him, making everything a little more bearable for a bit.

—

It’s been two days since that night and since Soobin has come to the rink. He took a few days rest, despite his burning need to practice (surely he’ll make up with some over practicing later this week). Though, today he’s back to face it all as much as he’d rather not.

He’s been able to narrowly avoid Beomgyu and Kai so far today.

Kai has been sticking to Yeonjun like no one else which has kept him occupied and away from Soobin. Really though, Soobin is glad Kai’s warmed up to at least one of his teammates now, he knows Yeonjun is a lot nicer than the rest too.

And Beomgyu, we’ll he’s been on the ice for most of the day, too busy practicing to come and tease Soobin.

...

“Taehyun! You have to try my cookies.” Soobin pouts as he sits down next to his friend, shoving the bag of cookies at him.

Taehyun always tries Soobin’s baking, even when it’s burnt or tastes terrible. He also knows how personal Soobin’s baked goods are to him, which is why Taehyun is the only one who ever gets them.

“You made cookies?” Beomgyu laughs out of nowhere (he definitely has a Soobin radar). He sits down beside them, giving Soobin a daring smirk. “I bet they taste like ass.”

“Fuck you.” Soobin growls. “I worked hard on them...” He adds quietly.

Beomgyu rolls his eyes, “let me try one then if they’re so good.”

“I didn’t say they’re good...”

“Let’s find out then.” Beomgyu says before snatching one of the cookies. Soobin yelps, watching with horrified eyes as Beomgyu shoves the cookie into his mouth.

He watches with awkward eyes, waiting for Beomgyu to mock his cookies. Sure, he’s not very good at baking, but makes him happy, even if it turns out bad.

Honestly, if Beomgyu makes fun of his cookies, Soobin might cry (he’s really sensitive right now).

Taehyun watches with wide eyes off to the side, not having expected Beomgyu to come up to them.

Beomgyu scrunches his face as he chews, Soobin’s heart sinking.

“This fucking sucks.” Beomgyu mutters a second later. Soobin turns away, his eyes suddenly watery. He quickly stands before Beomgyu can see, quickly walking off as his throat burns.

“You fucking asshole!” Taehyun growls, lunging at Beomgyu.

“What—the fuck!” Beomgyu shrieks as Taehyun’s hands wrap around his throat and he wrestles Beomgyu to the ground.

“Get...off!” Beomgyu groans, Taehyuns fingers tightening around Beomgyu’s throat as he pins him to the floor.

Taehyun sits on him, effectively shoving him against the ground as he chokes him, Soobin long gone.

“Fucking bitch!” Taehyun screams.

Beomgyu tries to pry Taehyun’s hands off his neck, but apparently the little figure skater has a lot of strength. He refuses to let go as Beomgyu struggles beneath him, clearly unable to breathe.

“Taehyun! Stop!” Yeonjun yells, running up to them with Kai in tow. He quickly drags Taehyun off who struggles against him, kicking his feet as Yeonjun takes him away.

Beomgyu rolls over, gasping for air, unable to stop coughing as he lays there panting.

“Oh god—are you okay?” Kai yelps, looking rather panickedly at Beomgyu. Beomgyu nods, unable to speak as he’s still coughing.

Yeonjun holds Taehyun tightly against his chest, not letting him go. Taehyun might be really strong, but Yeonjun is still a lot stronger.

“Let me go! That fucking bastard!” Taehyun cries, trying to shove Yeonjun away.

“I don’t know what Beom did, but you can’t kill him, Taehyun!” Yeonjun yells, his hold on Taehyun tightening.

“Yes I fucking can!”

“Um—what did happen...?” Kai asks, looking between the two boys one Beomgyu is properly breathing again.

“Fuck if I know—Yeonjun’s bitch just fucking attacked me!” Beomgyu replies.

“Don’t call him that.” Yeonjun growls, his eyes suddenly dangerously dark. Beomgyu gulps, slowly nodding. If there’s anyone you don’t mess with, it’s Yeonjun.

Kai glances between the three of them, obviously coming to a silent conclusion about Yeonjun and Taehyun.

“Beomgyu said Soobin’s cookie tastes bad.” Taehyun mutters after a moment.

“You tried to kill him over a cookie...?” Kai whispers. “Where even is Soobin?”

“Fuck—let me go—I have to check on Soobin!” Taehyun yelps, panic shining in his eyes suddenly.

Beomgyu laughs. “Huh? It’s just a fucking cookie, what’s the big deal. He shouldn’t have had them out then.”

“They were for me and only me!” Taehyun says, Yeonjun finally letting him go. “You don’t fucking understand.”

“Well, Beomgyu should go apologize to Soobin himself.” Yeonjun suggests. Beomgyu’s eyes widen. He glares at Yeonjun, shaking his head.

Taehyun purses his lips, “how do I know he won’t make things worse?”

“If he does, I’ll kick his ass.” Yeonjun smirks. Beomgyu groans, unable to fight back.

“Fine. I’ll go apologize for insulting his stupid fucking cookie.” Beomgyu huffs, walking off in the direction that Soobin went.

—

Soobin sits in the locker room, his back leaned up against the lockers as he sits on the bench.

A few tears pitifully track down his cheeks. He tries to rub them away, only for more to fall. He sighs, hating how sensitive he is right now.

Soobin freezes when he hears someone push open the door. He runs to the bathroom, locking himself in one of the stalls so no one can see him in this state.

He presses himself against the wall, hoping they won’t hear him.

“Soobin! Where the hell are you!” Beomgyu yells...of course it’s Beomgyu. Definitely the last person he wants to see right now, he’s literally in here crying because said person mocked his cookie.

“Come on. I know you’re in here, doll.”

“What do you want.” Soobin mutters, giving up.

He hears Beomgyu come his direction before his hands grab until the top of the door. Beomgyu then hauls himself up, peeking down at Soobin in the stall.

Soobin blinks, praying Beomgyu can't see the tears in his eyes.

“You know, your cookie wasn’t actually that bad...I was just saying that.” Beomgyu mumbles, his long hair falling into his eyes as he struggles to hold himself up on the top of the door.

Soobin laughs, “okay.”

“I’m serious!” Soobin says nothing, instead looking down at the floor.

“Why’d it make you cry though?” Beomgyu asks, still clearly struggling. “Can you just open the door?”

“No.”

“Fine. So why’d you cry?”

“None of your business.” Soobin huffs, refusing to look up at Beomgyu.

“Tell me—“ Except before Beomgyu can finish, he falls back, having lost his hold on the door. He hits the floor with a terribly loud thud and a pained yelp.

Soobin instantly jumps up, shoving the door open to see Beomgyu splayed out on the floor.

“Oh fuck!” Soobin yelps. Beomgyu groans in pain, not making any moves to get up.

“Did you hit your head?!” Soobin says, panic flooding through him as he stares at Beomgyu who looks dead on the floor. “Uh—uh...” Soobin moves to pick Beomgyu up, the younger almost like a ragdoll in his arms.

“Don’t...touch...me...” Beomgyu whines, his head lolling to the side as Soobin hurriedly carries him out.

“Oh my god you killed Beomgyu!” Yeonjun shrieks when Soobin walks up to them with a limp Beomgyu in his arms.

“No—the idiot was hanging onto the top of the bathroom door and fell off.”

“Oh—that sounds like something he would do.” Yeonjun mutters. “Here, I’ll take the idiot to the hospital. Sorry again for his dumbass.”

Soobin gently hands Beomgyu to Yeonjun, Taehyun glaring by his side.

“Serves him right.” Taehyun snickers as Yeonjun walks off.

“I hope he’s okay…” Kai whispers, startling Soobin to his presence. Soobin glances to where Kai stands beside Taehyun, both their cheeks heating up at the sight of each other. The marks might be faded, but their memories are definitely not.

“Anyways. Can we try your cookies now?” Taehyun says, clearly noticing the awkward tension between the two.

“Uh—sure.” Soobin mumbles, looking to the floor.

He really wishes everything could be normal again.

—

After Beomgyu gets out of the hospital (he was fine), Yeonjun offers to take him home before he drives up to go see some family. Beomgyu denies of course, not wanting to go home so early. So Yeonjun leaves him alone (hesitantly). He’ll be out of the city for a few days too, but Beomgyu should be okay without him.

As Beomgyu wanders home, he decides to stop for a few bottles of soju to get his mind off of things. Sure, it’s not the best thing to do, but it’s a distraction for his unsteady mind nonetheless.

After seeing Soobin again, those memories of that night came right back, plaguing him all over again. He had somewhat forgotten, the prior marks on Kai’s neck the only real reminder. But seeing Soobin today brought it all right back.

He sits on the side of the road with his bag of drinks, sipping the alcohol under the cover of darkness. It’s a little sad, but so is Beomgyu.

Lately everything has been too much to handle, from Soobin to his family to hockey. Everything is just not okay.

He sighs, letting the alcohol take over him, everything slipping. The alcohol slowly hazes over his mind. It’s nullifying, everything swirling into momentary peaceful bliss.

After awhile, he starts to stumble his way home, swaying from his slightly drunken state.

When he arrives, he shoves his way into his house, coming home late as usual, though, this time drunk as well. Perhaps he just wanted to spite his parents, perhaps that’s why he even confided in drinking to begin with.

His parents are quick to come after him, berading him for everything, though he’s not really listening. Of course, his drunken state doesn’t help either, only furthering their anger.

His father ends up hitting him, then before he knows it, those easy slaps turn to rough punches. He crashes to the floor after hitting a table. He’s already injured from earlier today, this only making everything feel worse.

With his dizzy mind, he doesn’t feel much, everything blurred and numb. He can see Jungwon watching the scene with terrified eyes, but Beomgyu signals for him not to intervene. He doesn’t want his brother getting hurt in this mess.

Beomgyu knows he’s bleeding, but it’s all too blurry to really tell. He shoves at his father, maybe throwing a punch of his own. His mother screams, more hits being landed from both men.

He needs to escape, he needs to get away. He’s never actively fought back before, never once tried to hit back, until now...really, he can’t take it anymore.

He slams his father into the wall before he runs out the front door. He nearly falls, the alcohol still biting at his movements.

No one chases after him, thankfully letting him go. Jungwon had looked guilty, but there was nothing he could really do to help his brother.

As Beomgyu runs, he realizes Yeonjun had quite literally just left town tonight to go visit family. He groans, wondering where he can even go for the night.

His body is screaming, exhaustion pulling him down. He needs to go somewhere...and fast.

He stands outside a familiar apartment complex, remembering when he took Soobin home here.

Soobin. His only option.

...

Beomgyu stumbles up to Soobin’s apartment building, hesitantly pressing the buzzer with trembling hands.

With Yeonjun out of town he has nowhere else to go except the streets. Though, he knows he can’t be in his house a minute longer, terrified of what might happen. He has to escape and this is the only option. As bad as running to Soobin so broken like this is, Beomgyu has no other choice.

After a few seconds pass, Soobin’s voice comes through the speaker.

“Um—who is it?” Soobin says, his voice slightly muffled.

Beomgyu briefly hesitates, wondering if Soobin will immediately turn him away.

“S—Soobin...” Beomgyu tries, his voice breaking. “I...I—I need help.” He mumbles weakly, unsure if his voice is even audible anymore.

There’s a long silence, but then Soobin lets him up. Beomgyu sighs in relief, fear still clinging to him at the thought of being in such a vulnerable state in front of Soobin...though, once again, he has no choice.

—

Soobin opens the door for Beomgyu, gasping when he sees a near faint looking Beomgyu. His eyes are dazed, almost empty as he looks at Soobin blankly.

His face is bruised up pretty good too, blood smeared across his lips.

Soobin purses his lips, stepping back so Beomgyu can enter. Beomgyu stumbles in slowly, Soobin smelling the scent of alcohol on him as he passes, his clumsy movements enough telltale as well.

He wonders what happened to leave Beomgyu in such a sorry state. Soobin also wonders why Beomgyu came to him of all people, but doesn’t question it.

“C—can I use your shower...?” Beomgyu asks quietly, his hands clenching and unclenching. Soobin notices the bruises and blood on his knuckles, only adding more fuel to his curiosity.

“Oh—sure...you can borrow some of my clothes if you want.” Soobin suggests, leading Beomgyu to the bathroom.

“Thanks...” Beomgyu mutters before closing the door behind himself.

Soobin scours around his room for comfortable clothes for Beomgyu to wear, searching for something that won’t be too big that it falls off of Beomgyu. Eventually he locates some pajamas that are still much bigger than Beomgyu, but should work fine enough.

He knocks on the door to the bathroom, the shower having since stopped. “Um—I have some clothes for you...can I come in?” Soobin questions.

“Oh...okay.” Beomgyu says, opening the door for Soobin.

Soobin peeks in, awkwardly giving the clothes to Beomgyu. Soobin flushes, seeing Beomgyu with only a towel around his waist. He tries not to stare, but his eyes can’t help but wander to the beautiful body before him. Though, he doesn’t miss the angry bruises on Beomgyu’s ribs, quickly pulling his eyes away.

Beomgyu smirks, “I know I’m hot, aren’t I?”

“Y—yeah.” Soobin stutters before turning away and closing the door so Beomgyu can change. Though, his cheeks still remain heated up, the image still burning into his mind.

Beomgyu steps out a few minutes later, Soobin’s clothes waterfalling over his body. Honestly, it’s kind of adorable, the big clothes making Beomgyu look impossibly smaller. Soobin shakes his head, why the hell is he thinking like this. He hates Beomgyu more than anything else, he is not adorable!

Beomgyu dries his hair off with a towel as he walks, hesitantly glancing at Soobin when he spots him.

“I’m sorry for coming here...it’s just that Yeonjun’s out of town and I have nowhere else to go right now...” Beomgyu mutters.

Soobin laughs, “it’s interesting seeing such a shy, vulnerable Beomgyu.” Beomgyu glares, a pout forming on his lips. “Are you like...okay though?” Soobin asks, feeling concerned even for the likes of his enemy.

Beomgyu shakes his head, “not really...but it doesn’t matter.”

Soobin nods, deciding not to press on. Maybe later he will, but Beomgyu looks far too exhausted right now.

Together they sit down on the couch, neither knowing what to do. Usually they’re bickering and fighting, but right now, Beomgyu doesn’t seem to have the energy for such games. It’s strange, worrying if anything, Soobin doesn’t really like it.

As they sit there with the tv quietly playing in the background, Beomgyu falls against Soobin. His back hits his chest, Soobin jumping at the sudden contact.

He glances down, noticing that the other boy's eyes are closed. He’s partially asleep on Soobin, probably from whatever drinking he did and what happened.

Soobin smiles, he’ll totally use this against Beomgyu later.

Soobin brings his attention back to the tv, not really realizing when his hands start to gently card through Beomgyu’s hair.

After a few moments, Beomgyu quietly sighs, further leaning into Soobin’s touch.

Soobin glances down, realizing what he’s doing, realizing how much he’s affecting Beomgyu. He continues working his hands through Beomgyu’s hair, gently massaging at his scalp.

Beomgyu leans against him more, clearly pressing into the touch. Soft noises fall from his lips, it’s endearing if anything, the way he’s so openly whining for Soobin’s touch.

“You’re touch starved, aren’t you?”Soobin giggles quietly.

Soobin briefly pulls his hand away, testing something, enjoying this vulnerable Beomgyu against him.

“Please...don’t stop...” Beomgyu whimpers, nudging against Soobin like a cat.

Soobin laughs, “alright.”

Beomgyu will never live this down.

—

Perhaps a hidden want lingers in Beomgyu’s fragile mind, perhaps a memory from his brief encounter with Soobin in the closet still haunts him. It’s a fleeting thought, but one that has its claws in his mind no matter what.

In a way, Soobin is so much like kerosene. Even just being in his presence makes Beomgyu dizzy, clouding his mind with drowsiness and deliria. Each breath driving him mad, though, the need to drink the needy liquid sits just on the edge of his tongue.

Soobin’s hands on his hips left him somehow yearning for more, the brief contact enough to make him mad. And now, Soobins hands in his hair leave him needing more and more.

He hates it, hates the way he so desperately wants to feel Soobin so close to him, to have his hands on him like this. It’s terrible how much he needs to touch the enemy.

Beomgyu is weak to Soobin, he realizes this now...perhaps why he hates him so much is because Soobin is his long stringing weakness that can so easily be the reason he crumbles.

—

After around an hour passes, and Beomgyu completely passes out. Soobin slowly sits up, pushing Beomgyu off himself. Beomgyu flops over, not waking up even when his body rests in an uncomfortable looking position.

Soobin wonders if he should just leave him here or let him sleep with him in the bed. He sighs, knowing he’ll regret being so nice, but Beomgyu’s strange injuries still linger in his mind.

Carefully, he picks Beomgyu up, carrying him to the bedroom. He places him down on the bed, covering him up before crawling in on the other side.

Soobin keeps a distance between them, but he knows Beomgyu will probably unconsciously drift closer to him during the night. He seems to be like a magnet to Soobin after all.

As Soobin thought, as soon as he settles himself down comfortably, Beomgyu is already rolling closer. Soobin laughs, Beomgyu’s arms slowly wrapping around his body. His head falls on Soobin’s chest, his eyes still closed. It’s probably all done unconsciously, Beomgyu unaware that he’s reaching for contact like this.

Soobin takes note of all this, knowing for sure just how touched starved Beomgyu really is. It’s a little sad, but quite interesting. He can probably unravel Beomgyu so easily, he knows his weakness now after all...really, Soobin has all the control here.

Things should be a lot more fun now...

Chapter Text

Beomgyu wakes up curled up against someone, his head resting on someone else's chest. He listens to their heartbeat, lying comfortably, unable to remember the last time he slept so good.

Slowly he blinks awake, trying to recall where he even ended up after the fight with his father...then he remembers.

He jumps awake in panic, his round eyes meeting a very awake Soobins.

“Oh—fuck.” Beomgyu whispers, realizing the way he’s practically on top of Soobin and cuddling him. His cheeks immediately heat up as embarrassment floods through him.

Of course he just had to cuddle with his enemy.

Soobin only laughs, putting down his phone. “Good morning,” he smirks before flipping them over so Beomgyu’s beneath him. Beomgyu lets out a yelp, just having woken up and not having expected that.

He blinks up at Soobin, his heart pounding in his chest. Soobin dangerously hovers over him as he sits, straddling his thighs. Beomgyu’s breath hitches, his eyes wavering over Soobin who smirks above him.

“What are you—“

“You’re touched-starved, aren’t you, Beomgyu?” Soobin says, his hands playfully trailing over Beomgyu’s sides.

“N—no...what would make you think that?” Beomgyu chokes out, his voice strangely shaky as he stares up at Soobin.

Soobin only laughs before dipping down, his lips just barely brushing over Beomgyu’s neck as he speaks. “Last night said otherwise.” Beomgyu shivers, his entire body heating up as Soobin’s lips graze against his skin. Unconsciously, his hands slide over Soobin’s hips, his trembling fingers gripping tightly in his panic.

Soobin leans back, a grin twisting on his lips as he looks at Beomgyu who’s furiously blushing. “Cute…” He whispers before rolling off and crawling out of the bed. He then casually leaves the room as if Beomgyu wasn’t just melting in his hands.

Beomgyu groans, the warmth still blooming in his cheeks and coating his entire body. He lays there, his mind dizzy. Faintly, he misses Soobin’s touch, as annoying as it is, he wants him to come back.

He’s so desperately broken that even the slightest of affection affects him so deeply like this. After being hit by his father last night, anything this soft has him so easily weak.

It’s frustrating, he knows Soobin will use this against him now seeing how easily it affects him. Really, he doesn't think he’ll last if Soobin keeps this up any longer...

...

After a few minutes, Beomgyu finally gets up, though he dreads having to face Soobin after whatever the hell just happened.

He saunters out of the bedroom, spotting Soobin in the kitchen before hesitantly walking over.

Soobin glances up, narrowing his eyes as Beomgyu stops a little bit away from him.

“So, are you gonna explain why you came to my place last night all fucked up like that?” Soobin asks as he leans on the kitchen counter.

Beomgyu frowns. “Do I have to?” Soobin only rolls his eyes, his expression shifting to annoyance.

“Yes. I let you stay here, that’s the least you owe me.”

Beomgyu pauses, trying to form some sort of excuse to evade Soobin’s curiosity, though he can’t think of anything. “I—I...it’s hard to explain.”

“How about you start by explaining who hurt you.”

“I can’t...”

“Beomgyu. I was nice last night, but that doesn’t mean I will be today. So if you don’t tell me, then you can just leave.” Soobin huffs, crossing his arms.

“What?! Soobin...I—I don’t have anywhere else I can stay...please...can I just stay here a little longer...?” Beomgyu pleads, realizing what it means for him if Soobin kicks him out.

Soobin licks his lips, his eyes narrowing at Beomgyu’s uncharacteristically panicked state. “Then start explaining.”

Beomgyu shakes his eyes, his eyes begging as he looks at Soobin. “I—it’s not that easy...please...” He tries, his voice suddenly breaking.

Soobin purses his lips. It’s strange, seeing Beomgyu so vulnerable like this. Soobin might enjoy teasing Beomgyu at this moment if it didn’t pull some sort of strings inside him. Really, he can’t help but feel bad for Beomgyu, almost pitying him. It’s not right seeing the hockey player like this, he’s not supposed to be this...broken.

“Fine.” Soobin sighs, looking away in defeat. He wonders if Beomgyu would actually cry if he kicked him out. “I’d rather not have you in my place...but I’ll make an exception just this once.”

“R—really...?”

“Just don’t piss me off more than you already are.”

—

Staying at Soobin’s place was definitely a mistake, seeing as that allowed him to learn Beomgyu’s very apparent weakness for his touch.

All day at the rink he had been randomly touching Beomgyu, slowly unraveling the hockey player as the hours passed.

As if on command, Soobin runs up behind Beomgyu, his hands immediately grabbing Beomgyu’s hips. Beomgyu lets out a yelp, his cheeks already becoming pink.

A part of Beomgyu wants to shove his way out of Soobin’s hands, but that other part of him just wants to stay there. He hates himself.

Soobin giggles, clearly enjoying teasing Beomgyu like this. Sure, Beomgyu’s been teasing Soobin in various ways for years, and has been rude to him on too many occasions, but that doesn’t mean Soobin has to do this! Sure it’s easy revenge, but Beomgyu is slowly becoming very frustrated...he might actually break soon.

Soobin quickly let’s go seconds after, leaving Beomgyu alone again. And that’s the exact problem…Soobin doesn’t touch him for long enough...of course, that’s how he’s getting to Beomgyu, but once again, it’s very frustrating.

Just as Beomgyu starts to get comfortable, just as he starts to melt into the touch, Soobin leaves. It’s embarrassing, but he desperately just wants Soobin to keep his hands on him, not to let go seconds later.

It always feels so nice...then it’s just gone.

Beomgyu’s going to lose his mind sooner or later.

—

“I’m hungry!” Beomgyu complains to Soobin once they get home from practice. It’s weird having his enemy follow him home, and to be staying the night again. Soobin really hates it actually, Beomgyu has a thing for being very annoying on purpose.

“I am not making food for you. Order yourself something with your daddy's money.” Soobin groans, flopping down on the couch.

Beomgyu purses his lips, a frown forming on his face, but he ignores the statement. “Aren’t you hungry? When was the last time you even ate?”

Soobin shrugs, “dunno, I’m not that hungry. Aish, I should’ve stayed later to practice though.” He sighs, hating how he missed out on precious practice time to take Beomgyu back here.

“Yeah? And fuck yourself up again? Go right ahead, idiot.”

“Want me to kick you out? Seriously, why the hell can’t you just go stay at your own fucking house.” Soobin says, reaching forward to run his hands through Beomgyu’s long hair.

Beomgyu freezes, biting down on his lip as he resists the urge to move closer to Soobin and lean into the touch. Except, like the entire day, Soobin immediately stops, the good feeling suddenly gone.

Beomgyu trembles, he’s not sure if he’s mad or just...upset. It’s probably the days worth of frustration getting to him. It’s a want that’s nearly satisfied, but never fully, and he’s finally reached the breaking point.

“A—are you...just gonna keep teasing me like that?” Beomgyu whispers, his voice shaky.

Soobin stares, raising an eyebrow at the way Beomgyu looks so upset.

“What? You’re always teasing me, why can’t I do the same to you?” Soobin replies, looking at Beomgyu dumbly.

“Why do you pull away so quickly?”

“That’s the point.”

Something in Beomgyu snaps.

“W—why?!” There’s tears dripping down Beomgyus cheeks now, his breath hitching.

“W—what—“

“—I want you to touch me! N—no one ever touches me so gently a—and...so nicely...please...stop teasing me with what I can’t ever have!”

Soobin blinks, taken aback by Beomgyu’s sudden outburst. His stomach sinks, guilt flooding through him as Beomgyu cries before him.

“Beomgyu...I—I’m sorry...wait! Please don’t cry I didn’t mean—“ Soobin says, his hands reaching out for Beomgyu but falling back to his sides half way.

His teasing had just been a joke, a way to get back at Beomgyu for everything. He didn’t think it would affect the guy this much, sure he’s clearly touched-starved...but still.

“I—it’s just frustrating! I’m...I’m supposed to hate you b—but I just want you to...hug me...for a long time...” Beomgyu whimpers, covering his face with his hands, a hiccup sob falling from his lips. “Mom and Dad hate me...Dad only e—ever hits me...they only ever yell at me...”

“Beomgyu...”

“D—don’t tell anyone about this...please.” Beomgyu cries, his voice ragged and broken. “Can you...can you just hug me...and not let go immediately?” He asks quietly, Soobin almost missing the request.

Soobin swallows, biting down on his lip as he stands awkward. He didn’t expect this, he didn’t expect this at all.

He slowly walks forward, letting Beomgyu fall against him rather than Soobin touching him first. He doesn’t want to make him any more uncomfortable...he never knew Beomgyu could be so helpless...he doesn’t like it.

Beomgyu clutches onto Soobin, holding onto him so desperately. It hurts Soobin’s heart...he hates this guy, but who wouldn’t feel at least a little bit bad for him right now.

Unconsciously, Soobin kisses the top of Beomgyu’s hair, something his mother used to do for him.

“Shh—I got you.” Soobin whispers, holding onto Beomgyu tightly.

This reminds him of his own breakdowns, of the moments where Taehyun had to piece him back together. Perhaps he and Beomgyu aren’t quite opposites after all.

Soobin leans down, gently leaving a few chaste kisses on the side of Beomgyu’s neck as a sort of distraction for him.

“W—what...what are you doing.” Beomgyu whispers, his voice strained, another sob falling from his lips.

“You’re too loud when you cry.” Soobin replies as he leaves an open mouthed kiss on Beomgyu’s neck. Beomgyu whines at the feeling, thoughtlessly tilting his head to the side to allow Soobin more access. He feels light headed, his mind blank as Soobin trails a pathway of wet kisses until he reaches his adams apple. He mouths over his skin, his teeth grazing, Beomgyu’s soft whimpers filling the apartment rather than cries now.

He’s pliant in Soobin’s arms, embarrassingly docile as he let’s Soobin work at his neck. He doesn’t even register when Soobin lays them down on the bed, his mind still fuzzy as Soobin continues to press his mouth to Beomgyu’s skin. Everything melts in his mind, his eyes fluttering closed.

“There. Now you’re quiet.” Soobin whispers, playfully biting at Beomgyu’s neck. “Well...not quite.” He giggles as Beomgyu lets out a strained whine.

With every press of Soobin’s lips to his neck, the swirling storm within him calms, the waves of his internal ocean becoming still.

Perhaps Soobin is the person that Beomgyu has always needed...his liberation...

No.

This isn’t right.

Soobin isn’t his person.

This is a trap.

—

“Yeonjun’s back in town now, so I can go stay with him.” Beomgyu says flatly in the morning, avoiding eye contact with Soobin as he pulls his jacket to cover his neck. He stands by the door, clearly ready to leave.

He’d been cold to Soobin all morning, avoiding talking to him if he didn’t have to, and if he did, it was sharp, guarded words. Perhaps he’d just returned to his normal self, though, Soobin kind of wished he hadn’t.

“Oh—okay.” Soobin says quietly, feeling small under Beomgyu’s icy gaze. He awkwardly wavers in the kitchen, unsure of what to say.

“Thanks for letting me stay.” Beomgyu mutters before he pushes out of the apartment, not sparing Soobin another glance as he goes.

Soobin sighs, wondering how Beomgyu will treat him at the rink today. It’s clear he’s embarrassed or something, compensating by acting just like his teammates do towards Soobin. He’s probably trying to cover his own feelings and vulnerability with this cruel facade...Soobin doesn’t know why it bothers him so much.

After last night, Soobin had thought they’d be on at least a little bit better terms. But it seems that being so vulnerable like that in front of Soobin only made Beomgyu angrier. Really, Soobin has no idea why he’d even done that...he honestly shouldn't have.

“Whatever.” Soobin groans, pushing the thoughts aside. He has Taehyun and Kai, he doesn’t need to be nice to Beomgyu again. If this is how Beomgyu wants it to continue being, then so be it.

Soobin still knows Beomgyu’s weakness anyways, who says he can’t still use it against him. Who cares if he cried because of it, if he’s rude to Soobin later, then it’s fair game, right?

—

As Soobin stands near some hockey guys at the rink a few hours later, they’re already mocking him as usual. Of course it’s normal, they do it all the time after all, but it still bothers him.

“How good of a skater can Soobin really even be? I mean, aren’t figure skaters usually smaller?” One of the hockey guys laughs to one of his friends. They know he can hear them too, that’s why they’re saying it after all. Soobin only bites his lip, trying his best to ignore them.

“I think he looks kind of weird when he skates, it’s kind of awkward.” The other hockey player agrees.

“Well? Isn’t that why he practices so much? He’s literally not any good, and he knows he’s not too.” Beomgyu says...of course Beomgyu’s here now...of course he would say that.

Soobin bites down harder on his lip...Beomgyu has never said something like that before. His teasing has always been harmless, never once with this much malice.

His entire life he’s been mocked by other adults and kids for his appearance not being “perfect” enough for skating. Everyone has always made fun of his skating too, always telling him he’s never good enough...so much so that sometimes he actually believes it.

Except somehow, hearing those same words from Beomgyu hurts even more than if anyone else said it. He doesn’t know why, but his heart aches as the words ring through his mind.

Maybe a part of him actually started to like Beomgyu as a sort of friend...maybe that’s why it hurts so much.

Soobin hears them all laughing as his mind races with cruel thoughts. He quickly walks off, his throat burning with tears as the demons in his head take over.

Beomgyu’s right. He’s not any good.

He needs to practice more.

—

Soobin practices late into the night until he feels sick with exhaustion. He reaches a point where he can’t move any more, collapsing to the ice as his body trembles from being overworked.

His feet feel like they might actually be bleeding as they burn with hot pain. His legs feel numb, not even able to be moved anymore without extreme pain.

As he lays there, he lets out an agonized whimper, the pain becoming much too overwhelming. The ice beneath him burns at his hands, freezing against his body as he starts to shiver, the cold setting in.

He hasn’t overworked himself this badly in a very long time, never too this absolute extreme.

Soobin has completely broken himself.

A sob escapes his lips, his tears freezing on the ice. He can’t help the wail of pain he lets out, the awful sound echoing through the empty rink.

It’s too late for anyone to be here, no one can hear his cries.

He’s trapped, unable to get up or even move. His body is shivering more and more, the cold ice seeping into his skin almost painfully.

Desperately he tries to move his legs, but the pain is so agonizing that he can only let out a broken scream before collapsing again.

Soobin is alone...no one is here to help him.

—

As Beomgyu walks home with Yeonjun after practice, he can’t help but feel troubled with immense guilt.

Why the hell did he have to say that to Soobin today? He knows the guy likes to overwork himself. He knows especially after finding him broken in the locker room that one time.

Of course, at the time, Beomgyu was so defensive from revealing such a vulnerable side of himself to Soobin. It scared him, having Soobin see him like that. So, as a way out of his own insecurity, he had tried to hurt Soobin similarly.

Beomgyu stops walking, feeling more and more guilty. He hopes Soobin didn’t believe what he said...he didn’t mean any of those words.

Soobin had helped him...he had let him stay at his house...and Beomgyu had hurt him.

“Yeonjun...can I meet you at your place? I have to check on something...” Beomgyu says, panicking at the thought of Soobin overworking himself again. He doesn’t know why it worries him so much, but it does.

“Oh—sure.” Yeonjun says, confusion evident on his face. “I can come with you if you want?”

Beomgyu shakes his head. “It’s fine. I’ll see you in a bit, sorry.”

He runs.

...

Beomgyu crashes into the rink, an uneasy feeling sinking through him. He was sure he’d heard a scream when he was coming in too which only heightens his panic.

He glances to the inside of the rink, gasping when he sees someone collapsed limply on the ice.

Soobin...it’s Soobin laying there.

Beomgyu runs to him, awkwardly slipping around on the ice as he shuffles his way over.

He can hear Soobin crying, ugly sobs echoing through the room as the boy lays there whimpering. He’s shivering too, badly, probably from laying on the ice...who knows how long he’s been here for.

“Soobin...” Beomgyu tries, gently touching his back.

Soobin glances up to him, his face scrunching in pain when he moves his legs a little.

“Hey—hey what’s wrong...why are you just laying here.” Beomgyu whispers, his voice quivering.

Is this his fault?

“I—I...Beomgyu...I can’t move...it hurts...I can’t...I—“ Soobin sobs, his words messy and panicked. “I’m cold...I can’t feel—I can’t feel my h—hands.”

Beomgyu nods without saying anything, he’s unsure of what he’s even meant to say in this situation. Instead, he picks Soobin up as gently as he can, clutching him to his chest as he makes his way off the ice.

Soobin trembles against him, his teeth chattering from the cold as he holds onto Beomgyu.

Briefly, Beomgyu puts Soobin on one of the chairs before he takes his own jacket off and wraps it around Soobin’s shaking body.

Then he picks Soobin up again, the figure skater’s crying easing up, but he still shivers. He feels as cold as snow in the winter, the jacket barely doing anything to warm him up. Beomgyu really needs to hurry home.

...

“W—wait! I live that way...w—where are you going?” Soobin yelps as Beomgyu walks.

“I’m not letting you be alone like this, you’ll be staying with Yeonjun and I tonight.” Beomgyu says, readjusting his grip on Soobin so he doesn’t drop him.

“What?! I’ll be fine...”

“No. You won’t...this is my fault after all, so I’m not letting you be alone.” Beomgyu whispers, feeling even more guilty. “You’re in a lot of pain too, you can’t even move. We’ll help you.”

“Fine…” Soobin pouts.

“You know...you’re really good at figure skating, you’re amazing actually…” Beomgyu whispers seconds later. “I shouldn’t have said that to you earlier...I was just scared and I took it out on you...I—I’m sorry…”

Soobin nods, his head falling against Beomgyu, his hands holding onto him a little bit tighter.

“I get it...sometimes I get scared too...”

Chapter Text

While Beomgyu carries Soobin, Soobin can’t help when he starts squirming, the pain in his body becoming more and more agonizing. He clenches his teeth, biting back a whimper that rests heavy in his throat. It’s been too many minutes, the pain slowly waning away at him.

“Hey—we’re almost there, doll.” Beomgyu assures, rubbing soothing circles on Soobin’s leg as he holds him. Soobin nods, his grip on Beomgyu tightening as the pain continues to ricochet through his body.

A pitiful whine rocks through him as he’s unable to keep it down any longer. He buries his face further against Beomgyu, trying desperately to remain okay.

“We’re here.” Beomgyu whispers a few seconds later, making his way into Yeonjun’s house with Soobin tight in his arms.

“Beomgyu hey—wait, what the hell. Is that...Soobin?!” Yeonjun yelps, his expression beyond confused as he stares at a very in pain Soobin. “Um—is he okay?”

Beomgyu shakes his head. “Do you have pain killers and some of the medical supplies we use for hockey?”

“Yeah—I’ll go grab them. You can lay him on the couch. No one’s here but us tonight.” Beomgyu nods, moving to go lay Soobin down. He then goes to grab some pillows and blankets for Soobin, knowing Yeonjun’s house well enough to find them.

“Here, put your head up.” Beomgyu directs so he can put a pillow beneath Soobin’s head. “Comfy?”

“Mhmm.” Soobin hums, his voice laced with too much pain to really talk right now.

Yeonjun hurriedly comes back, still looking confused, but placing some things down on the table. “It’s his legs and feet that hurt, right? From skating I’m guessing.” He hands Soobin some painkillers with a glass of water. “I’ll see what I can do. And Beomgyu, let me just do this because you’re an idiot when it comes to stuff like this.” Beomgyu pouts, but draws back, sitting on the floor beside Soobin’s head.

Slowly, Yeonjun works, wrapping Soobin’s feet after cleaning the blood from them. It makes Beomgyu’s stomach twist, seeing the bruises and blood inflicted because of his own words.

Soobin whimpers next to him, unable to stay quiet anymore. Yeonjun tries to be as gentle as he can, but that doesn’t stop the few times he presses a little too hard. Soobin arches up in pain, his fingers desperately trying to grip onto the couch but ultimately failing.

Beomgyu presses his lips in a thin line, hesitantly taking Soobin’s hand, their fingers easily sliding together. He doesn’t even know if Soobin notices, gripping onto Beomgyu’s hand painfully tight. Beomgyu doesn’t mind though...this is his fault after all, this is the least he can do to help.

“Okay, that’s really all I can do for now. Just try not to walk on it tonight, maybe just go to sleep. You’re probably tired anyways.” Yeonjun says gently, patting Soobin’s thigh lightly. “If you’re hungry, I’m sure Beomgyu will be nice enough to make you some.” Beomgyu shoots Yeonjun a glare, but sighs, still feeling too guilty to resist.

“Thank you...” Soobin smiles, looking a little calmer now. “Um yeah—I am kind of hungry though...I haven’t eaten since this morning.”

“What?! You seriously need to eat more!” Beomgyu gasps, jumping up, their hands falling away from each other. “Stay here, I’ll go get you something.”

“I don’t think I’ll be moving any time soon, so I don’t think you have to worry about that.” Soobin laughs as Beomgyu walks off to the kitchen with Yeonjun.

...

“Beomgyu what the actual hell—don’t you hate Soobin?!” Yeonjun whisper yells to Beomgyu once they get into the kitchen. They’re hidden away in here, able to bicker quietly without Soobin hearing or seeing them.

“Well yeah...but, I said some mean things to him today...I know he likes to overwork himself too and he did...all because of me.” Beomgyu mutters, rubbing the back of his neck.

Yeonjun snorts, “since when do you care about things like that?”

Beomgyu hesitates, weighing the words on his tongue. “I stayed at his house for two days...a lot of stuff happened.”

“What?! You what—okay, but about that, when are you going to tell me when you’re not staying at your own place?”

“Later...I will.” Beomgyu sighs. He knows he’ll have to tell Yeonjun the truth sooner or later, especially since he’s staying here now. He can’t keep lying to him like this either, hiding under the facade that everything’s fine. Yeonjun is his best friend after all...he deserves to know the truth.

“Fine. So you’re suddenly all soft for Soobin?”

“No! Well...maybe...I don’t know, it’s confusing.”

“You are, aren’t you?” Yeonjun teases, excitement gleaming in his eyes. “Is he the one who marked up your neck like that?”

Beomgyus' eyes go round as he instinctively moves to cover his neck, having completely forgotten about that. “What?! You can see that!” He shrieks at the realization.

“So it was him. What the fuck?” Yeonjun giggles. “You’ve really lost it, haven’t you?”

“It’s not like that! Oh geez—can we talk about this later...he’s out there hungry...” Beomgyu panics, trying to evade this very awkward conversation.

Yeonjun narrows his eyes. “We’re coming back to this. Don’t think we’re finished yet, Choi Beomgyu.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Beomgyu huffs, quickly walking off.

...

“Here.” Beomgyu says, handing Soobin the bowl of ramen as he sits down on the floor beside him again.

“Thanks...but, why are you even being so nice to me?” Soobin asks, sitting up as he takes the bowl with shaky hands.

“Feel bad.”

“You’ve never been this nice though, not on any occasion...no matter what.”

Beomgyu plays with the sleeves of his own sweater, focusing on the fabric of his clothes instead. He’s really not any good at talking all personal like this, usually shying away from talking like this with people. “Well, I don’t understand myself either sometimes.” He finally says. Soobin seemingly accepts that answer, not pressing on.

Soobin slowly eats, the feeling of food in his empty stomach more than nice. He should really start eating more rather than accidentally skipping out on meals. Though, it’s difficult when he has no one to tell him to eat, making it too easily forgotten.

“By the way, sorry about the other night, I shouldn't have—“ Soobin mutters as he stares down at the ramen.

“—it’s fine...it’s fine.” Beomgyu cuts in, his voice quiet.

“Really...?”

“I—I liked it...now shut up and eat.” Beomgyu huffs, turning his back to Soobin.

Soobin smiles to himself, a strange warmth blooming in his chest at Beomgyu’s words. It’s weird, entirely wrong, but it feels so oddly right.

—

During the night, Soobin jolts awake screaming. A nightmare burns fresh in his mind, fear shrouding over him as he sits there panting.

Beomgyu stirs next to him, having apparently fallen asleep next to the couch on the floor.

“What the fuck—you okay?” Beomgyu mumbles, his voice husky with sleep, his hair sticking up everywhere.

“Nightmare.” Soobin mumbles, rubbing away the hot tears in his eyes.

“Think you’ll be able to fall asleep again?” Beomgyu yawns, his eyes half lidded.

“I don’t know...”

“Think there’s room on the couch for me?”

“Huh?”

“The floor kind of sucks to sleep on—and maybe it’ll help you fall asleep easier if I’m beside you” Beomgyu whispers, peering up at Soobin who looks down at him. “Come on, move over.”

“There’s no way we’ll both fit on here.” Soobin scoffs as Beomgyu climbs onto the couch.

“Watch me.”

Beomgyu lays down beside Soobin, shoving him against the back of the couch. Soobin sighs, his face heating up when Beomgyu presses against him.

“Big spoon or little spoon?” Beomgyu asks.

“Seriously.”

“It’s the only way we’ll both fit—I’m literally about to fall off, so hurry up and choose.”

Soobin huffs, barely thinking. “Little spoon.” Really, he doesn’t have the energy to flip over with Beomgyu there...and also....he might like the idea of having Beomgyu’s arms around him.

Almost immediately, Beomgyu’s arms snake around his waist, clinging onto him tightly, his chest pressed to Soobin’s back. Soobin gulps, his mind dizzy as he tries to process the feeling of Beomgyu holding him.

Though, as Beomgyu breathes, his breath tickles the back of Soobin’s neck, causing him to giggle and forget about his internal panic.

“Shush.” Beomgyu whispers, his lips trailing against Soobin’s skin. “Go to sleep.”

Soobin bites his lip, giving in and closing his eyes. He melts into the warmth of Beomgyu behind him, his nightmare since faded from his mind.

In a strange way, this feels nice...too nice. He feels content, liking this feeling that he’ll surely never get to experience again.

Somehow, Soobin feels much safer in Beomgyu’s arms.

He falls asleep a thousand times easier.

—

“Oh my god—“ Yeonjun gasps when he walks into the living room the next morning. He spots Soobin and Beomgyu cuddled up on the couch, Beomgyu clinging onto Soobin like a koala.

Quickly, he pulls out his phone, snapping a photo to tease Beomgyu with later. It’s an endearing display, pulling at the hopeless romantic in Yeonjun. He wishes he could have something like this for himself, something so domestically sweet.

“You’ve been in love with him this entire time...haven’t you?” Yeonjun whispers, looking at them fondly.

Faintly, he wonders if Soobin will be the person who can help Beomgyu...the person he’ll finally trust. He hopes so.

—

Taehyun comes by around an hour after Soobin and Beomgyu wake up, Yeonjun having informed him about the state that Soobin was in.

Together, Beomgyu and Yeonjun help Soobin to Taehyun’s car, the other boy taking him to stay with him. Taehyun obviously knows Soobin best, knowing much better how to care for him.

Yeonjun notices the immense worry plastered on Taehyun’s face, an unreadable expression twisting at his features.

Soobin remains silent, looking almost guilty. Beomgyu has a similar expression, a stark silence between all of them.

“Thanks for taking care of him.” Taehyun mutters, closing the car door once Soobin’s in. He briefly glances at Yeonjun before looking away, his eyes fleeting as usual.

Yeonjun sighs, knowing Taehyun will never look at him the way he wants

“See you later.” Yeonjun says...then, Taehyun’s gone.

—

Soobin stares out the window as Taehyun drives, watching with sad eyes as the blurry scenery speeds by. The music plays quietly, somewhat masking the stifling awkwardness in the car.

He looks over, noticing how Taehyun grips the steering wheel too tightly, his knuckles white. He’s more than tense, though, Soobin knows he’s not angry, just upset.

Suddenly, the song cuts off, Taehyun reaching to crank the music off. Soobin flinches, the harsh silence slowly settling over them.

“Why. Why did you hurt yourself like this again...it hasn’t been this bad in years...” Taehyun keeps his gaze steady on the road, stiffly keeping his hands on the wheel.

“Some of the hockey guys...they said some things and all the voices in my head decided they agreed.” Soobin replies slowly, the words still bitter in his mind. Of course, he leaves out the fact that it was Beomgyu...Taehyun doesn’t need to know that much.

More silence follows as they stop at a red light. Taehyun briefly glances at him before he quickly turns his attention back to the road, very apparent guilt clouding over his face.

Taehyun sighs, shaking his head. “I’m sorry...I should’ve been with you instead of—“

Soobin frowns, “instead of what?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Taehyun. We help each other, remember?” Soobin says, turning to look at him. “I know you’ve been hiding something...and of course you don’t have to tell me everything but...”

Taehyun groans, the car coming to a stop outside his place. He turns the engine off, shifting to fully face Soobin.

“Yeonjun. Sometimes we kiss...there’s no feelings though...just kissing.” Taehyun says briskly, looking shameful.

“Oh...wow...is there really no feelings...?”

“No.”

Soobin reaches to tap Taehyun’s ears, seeing how red they’ve gone. “You’re lying.”

Taehyun glares, a frown setting into his features. He looks back out the window, pushing open his car door, but he doesn’t get out. Instead, he sits there, staring off into the distance before speaking again. “There’s not supposed to be feelings. It’s never going to happen.”

“Alright...whatever you say…”

—

Yeonjun and Beomgyu walk back into the house with no words, a thick silence hanging between them.

The same questions from last night still rests in Yeonjuns mind; what had happened to Beomgyu and why he wasn’t staying at his own place.

He wonders if Beomgyu will actually tell him the truth like he said he would. Though, maybe he’ll just make up more lies, avoiding telling Yeonjun anything as usual.

If anything, it hurts, being left in the dark like this by his own best friend. He wants to be someone Beomgyu can lean on, someone he trusts...but maybe he’s just not that person.

“Will you tell me the truth...or will you keep everything hidden as usual.” Yeonjun says finally, a bit of coldness laced into his voice. He’s just so tired, tired of all the secrets.

Beomgyu stays quiet, his eyes finding the floor as they stand there.

“If you don’t trust me, you can just say it.” Yeonjun mumbles, giving a watery laugh as sadness seizes his throat. Maybe he’s just not been a good enough friend...maybe that’s why Beomgyu won’t tell him.

“It’s not that...of course I trust you...” Beomgyu whispers, still not meeting Yeonjun’s eyes.

Yeonjun shakes his head, not even noticing when tears start to trickle down his cheeks. “Then why? Why won’t you let me help you? A—am I a bad friend...?”

Beomgyu’s head snaps up at the sound of Yeonjun’s voice suddenly cracking. Horror masks over his features when he sees his friend crying, an awful feeling settling in his stomach.

“Ah—I’m sorry...” Yeonjun laughs, more tears falling to the floor. “I just feel so awful...I know you’re hurting but I can’t do anything, you know?”

Beomgyu swallows, moving to encompass Yeonjun in his arms. He thinks hard, wondering if he should finally just let it all out...free himself from the burden of hiding everything away.

“I’m just scared...scared of what you’ll think when you know the truth...I don’t want you to worry about me either, I—I just don’t know how to talk about it...” Beomgyu says, tears glistening in his own eyes as he speaks.

“I’m always worrying about you...I just want to be able help you...”

“It I tell you...do you promise you’ll just listen? I don’t want you to try and fix anything...I just want you to know...” Beomgyu says quietly.

“Okay.” Yeonjun nods, pulling Beomgyu to his bedroom where they sit together on his bed. Their knees touch, both boys sitting crossed legged as they face each other.

Beomgyu takes a deep breath, his hands trembling as his mind floods with all the awful memories. It’s time he lifts this weight off his shoulders, finally let his best friend help him.

“Uh...my parents...they hate me so goddamn much. Like—I’m a failure to them since I’m not the perfect son that they wanted.” Beomgyu explains, his voice shaking. “They yell at me a lot...say a lot of cruel things…”

Beomgyu digs his nails into his palms, trying to soothe his nerves as anxiety swells through his chest. He takes another deep breath, his voice shaking too much to speak properly. Yeonjun notices, reaching out to rub over his thigh, giving him soft reassures.

After a few minutes, he manages to calm himself a little, able to continue talking.

“M—my dad...he um...he hits me a lot too...more so lately...” Beomgyu whispers, running through breathing exercises in his mind. “All those bruises that I told you were just from hockey...t—they were from him…”

Beomgyu’s shoulders start to shake, a sudden sob cutting through him. He crumples forward, curling in on himself as he starts to cry uncontrollably.

Yeonjun immediately reaches out, pulling Beomgyu to his chest as he becomes nothing but a fit of sobs.

“Beomie...baby...I’m here...I’m here.” Yeonjun comforts, brushing his fingers through his hair. Beomgyu whimpers in response, clinging onto him, his fingers balling in his sweater.

“I—it hurts...I’m always so scared...but there’s nothing I can do...” Beomgyu gasps, a wave of agony washing through him. “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long...b—but I just...I didn’t know how.”

Yeonjun gently rubs Beomgyu’s back, keeping him close, trying his best to hold back his own tears. “I’m here...I’ll always be here...” Yeonjun whispers, his voice breaking as he hugs Beomgyu to his chest. “You’re not alone anymore, okay?”

“You’ll stay...forever...r—right?” Beomgyu asks, his words muffled against Yeonjun’s chest. Yeonjun hums, squeezing him tighter, not daring to let go.

“Of course...you’ll always have me as your best friend.” Yeonjun says, blinking away his tears. “I’ll take care of you now...”

—

Yeonjun smiles when Kai bounces up to him at practice the following day. It’s an easy distraction from what transpired last night, Beomgyu’s truth still burning deep in his mind. He’d had a sleepless night because of it already, the sick truth haunting him all night long.

He shakes the thoughts away, instead focusing on how Kai’s blond curls flop around, covering his eyes as he grins at Yeonjun.

“How can you see like that?” Yeonjun teases, pushing the boy's hair back playfully. Kai blushes, only giggling as Yeonjun’s fingers tangle in his hair.

Instantly, Yeonjun feels happier, a soft warmth blooming in his chest. He’s growing more fond of this boy day by day, enjoying his company. Even outside of practice they hang out, Kai’s sweet presence is enough to ease away any of his stress or worries.

“Cutie.” Yeonjun whispers, leaning up to press a playful kiss to Kai’s cheek, not caring if anyone sees. He isn’t ashamed of affection, and he sure as hell isn’t scared of any of his teammates.

“Wanna get food after this!” Kai asks, his cheeks dusted in pink.

Yeonjun nods, ruffling the boy's hair. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

—

Taehyun silently fumes as he watches Yeonjun and Kai. Foreign anger runs through him, his fists clenched at his sides. Their playfully sweet gestures to each other piss him off...why the hell are they even touching so much anyways?

He huffs, turning away, wishing Soobin could be here with him. Then again, if he told Soobin how he was feeling, he wouldn’t like the conclusion Soobin would come to because of it.

It’s not that he likes Yeonjun or anything, well, he didn’t want to at least. What they have is strictly without feelings, nothing more and nothing less than a good feeling. It’s not supposed to go any further.

Though, it seems his own heart is betraying him.

Taehyun sighs, walking off, the jealousy becoming too bothersome. He can’t stand to see any more Yeonjun and Kai’s public display of affection.

He shouldn’t feel like this...but he does...

Chapter Text

“Okay, I’ll just run in and grab some stuff really quickly.” Beomgyu says as Yeonjun pulls up in front of Beomgyu's parents house.

So far, Beomgyu has only been using Yeonjun’s clothes, having not brought any of his own when he left. But today, they decided to finally go get some of Beomgyu’s stuff from his house. Really, Beomgyu won’t be back, so he better get some stuff before his parents burn it or something.

“I can come in with you if you want?” Yeonjun offers as Beomgyu takes his seatbelt off. He’s worried about what might happen to Beomgyu while he's there.

Beomgyu shakes his head, pushing open the car door and stepping out. “I’ll be fine. It’ll only take a few minutes. And besides, I don’t even think they’re home right now.”

“You sure?” Beomgyu nods before jumping out of the car.

Hesitantly, he walks up to the door, punching in the house code to let himself in. He quickly makes his way to his bedroom, throwing some stuff into a nearby backpack as fast as he can. It’s clear no one is home right now, but who knows when they’ll be back.

After a few minutes, Beomgyu finishes gathering mostly everything that he’ll need. He makes his way down the staircase, hurriedly walking towards the front door.

Except just as he’s about to reach it...the door opens.

Of course...just his luck.

His parents walk in with Jungwon in tow, all of them gasping when they see Beomgyu standing before them.

Beomgyu groans, his hands tightening around the straps of his backpack as he faces them.

“What are you doing here, Beomgyu.” His father growls, slamming the door behind himself as he walks in.

Beomgyu shrinks back further, the twisted expression on his father’s face filling him with panic. “I—I needed some stuff. You know, since I’ll never be coming back here.” He spits, trying his best to remain confident, even when his voice wavers.

“You ungrateful child!” His mother yells. She lunges forward, and withhout any warning, slaps him across the face. Beomgyu gasps, clutching his stinging cheek as he meets her angry eyes.

“I’m leaving.” Beomgyu growls, shoving past her and reaching for the door. However, a strong hand slaps down onto his shoulder and slams him into the wall. He slides to the ground at the impact, his body shaking in fear as his father stands over him.

“You bastard! You think you’ll survive out there without us? You won’t! You’ll end up dead and no one will even care!” His father screams before kicking him in the ribs. Beomgyu yelps, curling in on himself as his father’s boot smashes into his body.

Pain flurries through his body, his father nearly manic as he hurts his own son. Briefly, he stops, but only so he can grab Beomgyu’s hair and force him to meet his eyes. Beomgyu grimaces, pain splitting through him as his father nearly rips his hair out. He tries to pull away, but that only earns him a punch.

His mother watches, her cruel eyes dark as her husband relentlessly beats her son. Beomgyu wonders if she ever even once loved him.

It all gets blurry, pain making his cohesive mind messy. With every hit, he only breaks more, unable to even fight back. Maybe he really is useless like they always tell him.

“Stop hurting him!” Jungwon screams, suddenly throwing himself over top of Beomgyu. He shields his brother, tears dripping down his cheeks as he tries to protect Beomgyu from their father.

“Jungwon. Move.” His father hisses, though, unlike Beomgyu, he won’t hit Jungwon.

“NO!” Junwon shrieks, curling closer to Beomgyu. “JUST LET HIM GO!”

“BEOMGYU!” Yeonjun cries, crashing into the house next to him. He glances from Beomgyu to Beomgyu’s father before throwing a punch at the cruel man without any hesitation.

“YOU MONSTER! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR OWN SON!” Yeonjun screams, shoving the man back and punching him more. He’s much younger and faster, able to easily overpower the man, managing to knock him out in his storm of anger.

Beomgyu’s mother screams, running into the kitchen, probably to call the police or something.

Yeonjun turns back to Beomgyu, quickly helping him up and out of the house.

Jungwon follows, looking a little lost as he clutches onto the end of his brother's shirt.

“Jungwon? Are you coming with us...?” Yeonjun asks as he gets Beomgyu (who is now passed out) into the car.

“Um—I—I don’t know...” Jungwon says.

“You should. I don’t like the idea of you staying with those people...I’m sure Beomgyu thinks the same.”

“I’d feel bad...you’re already letting Beomgyu stay with you...why would you want me as well?” Jungwon asks, glancing back to the house.

Yeonjun purses his lips, looking down at the younger boy. “It’s either yes or no.”

“Focus on taking care of my brother for now, I’ll be fine.”

“Fine…but my offer still stands for whenever, kid.”

—

Beomgyu groans awake next to Yeonjun, his entire body aching with every movement.

Yeonjun looks over to him, giving him a soft smile. “You’ve been out for hours.” He informs, reaching over to hand Beomgyu some painkillers.

“I feel like shit.” Beomgyu mumbles as he swallows the pills and moves to lean against Yeonjun.

“Well, you got pretty fucked up back there. Think you’ll be able to go to practice tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ve done it before.”

Yeonjun snorts, giving Beomgyu a smirk. “You just want to see Soobin.”

“Maybe.”

—

“Your hair’s getting long.” Soobin observes as he walks up behind Beomgyu and reaches out to gently brush through it the next day. “I like it.”

Beomgyu sighs at the contact, his eyes slightly fluttering shut as Soobin works his fingers through his hair. Soobin grins, watching as Beomgyu dissolves beneath his hand. “You like that? Feels good, right?”

Beomgyu hums, leaning back against Soobin as his eyes completely close. It’s once again odd seeing someone like Beomgyu letting his guard down so easily like this around Soobin...letting himself be so vulnerable...but as always, Soobin likes it...a lot.

Soobin smiles, perhaps this is better than fighting after all...or perhaps he just likes having Beomgyu at his mercy.

“I feel like you might just start purring.” Soobin remarks. “You’re acting just like a cat...it’s kind of cute.”

“You think I’m cute, doll?” Beomgyu perks up, a hint of playfulness in his voice.

Soobin scoffs, “only like this.”

Beomgyu shakes his head, turning to look at Soobin. “Yeah right, you always think I’m cute!” Beomgyu challenges.

Soobin only laughs, leaning forward to press his lips to Beomgyu’s ear teasingly. “Now don’t get too bold, you’re still under my mercy right now.” Beomgyu shivers, instantly shutting up and flushing red. Soobin grins, pleased with his effect on Beomgyu these days.

“You’re too much...” Beomgyu huffs in defeat when Soobin falls back. “I really can’t stand you.”

Soobin licks his lips. “Oh come
on, you love me—except...if this is all like actually bothering you...I can stop. Just tell me.” He says slowly, pausing as he remembers the last time Beomgyu completely broke from all his teasing.

“It’s...” Beomgyu stops, his eyes wavering. “It’s fine...”

Soobin grins, carding his fingers through Beomgyu’s hair again. “Good. I like you like this.”

—

Soobin (accidentally) watches as Beomgyu changes his shirt after practice, his eyes wavering over the hockey player's body. However, he notices new injuries on the boy, too many clearly fresh red and purple bruises blotched over his beautiful skin.

Beomgyu sees him staring, his cheeks flushing. He glances down at his body, realizing the bruises from earlier are very apparent...that’s what Soobin is looking at...not him.

Beomgyu moves to put his shirt on, but Soobin steps closer which causes him to freeze.

“Beomgyu...who did this to you?” Soobin asks gently.

“I think you know.” Beomgyu whispers, feeling self conscious of his injuries under Soobin’s eyes.

Soobin only nods, stretching out his hand to carefully drag his fingers over the bruises. Except when he does, Beomgyu accidentally flinches away, inhaling sharply as Soobin touches his skin.

Soobin pulls back instantly, looking panicked. “I’m sorry...did I hurt you?”

“N—no...I’m sorry...can you keep...” Beomgyu trails off, unsure of what he’s even asking for. Though Soobin seems to understand, his hands finding their way to Beomgyu’s bruised skin again.

Somehow, even after all their fights and teasing...Soobin manages to be so gentle with him...so careful not to hurt him.

“Why...why do you treat me so nicely after everything...?” Beomgyu questions, still unable to understand this sudden shift in their relationship.

“We might fight...but I’ll never hurt you, okay...?” Soobin whispers, pressing soft kisses up the side of Beomgyu’s neck. Beomgyu lets out a heavy exhale, his hands moving to curl into Soobin’s shirt. It’s comforting...so comforting. After what happened yesterday, having Soobin’s lips against his skin somehow alleviates just a little bit of the pain.

Maybe...just maybe...Soobin could be his person...

—

Hidden away in a mostly dark storage room, Yeonjun has Taehyun pressed to the wall as they kiss. Though, there’s something a little off about their kiss. Taehyun is kissing him too hard, painfully so, as well as biting down much harder than what would feel nice.

“Why are you being so rough?! This is supposed to feel good—you’re hurting me?!” Yeonjun gasps out, stepping back from Taehyun when it becomes too much.

Taehyun rolls his eyes, sending Yeonjun a glare as he leans against the wall. “Oh come on. I always kiss you roughly.”

“Never this roughly. Usually it feels good. This doesn’t.”

“Well then maybe you should just go kiss Kai instead!” Taehyun spits, his jealousy getting the best of him. “I bet you’d like that a hell of a lot more.”

“What?! Wait—are you jealous or something?”

“Why the fuck would I be jealous. There’s no fucking feelings here.” Taehyun says, turning his gaze away as he lies.

Why...why does he keep lying.

“Oh yeah—I forgot you’re just using me for yourself like I’m some sort of cheap whore.” Yeonjun scoffs as he moves to open the door. “You know what? I will go to Kai because at least he treats me like I’m a human and not a goddamn object.” He growls before walking out and slamming the door behind himself.

Taehyun can only stare in disbelief as he’s left alone in the dark.

What just happened...

He slumps down to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest as his throat burns with tears.

Quietly, he lets himself cry in the darkness, his heart aching in his chest.

Yeonjun is gone. Taehyun knows he won’t come back again...especially when he has Kai now, someone who treats him properly.

Taehyun has always been a bit too cruel. Perhaps if hadn’t been so stubborn, Yeonjun could’ve been his in a way that wasn’t just secret.

Why...why did everything have to be so complicated...?

—

“Hey, you okay?” Kai asks Yeonjun as the older rushes up to him and hugs him from behind.

Yeonjun shakes his head, pressing his face into Kai’s hair at the base of his neck. “No..I’m not.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Kai asks, placing his hands over top of Yeonjun’s.

“Yes...”

...

Together Yeonjun and Kai sit outside on the grass, their hands interlocked. Yeonjun explains his thing with Taehyun to Kai, everything from the kissing to the fight to his own feelings.

Kai listens, gently comforting Yeonjun as they sit under the sun.

“You shouldn’t let him treat you like that. You deserve to be loved for more than just that.” Kai says, giving Yeonjun a soft smile. “Especially when you have feelings for him...you’re only hurting yourself more and more.”

“I know...it’s just difficult to let go...” Yeonjun sighs, shifting to lay his head on Kai’s thigh while still holding his hand. “Can I confess something?”

“Of course.”

“It’s gonna sound weird but...I like Taehyun, right? B—but...I think I also like you.” Yeonjun rambles, deciding to bring his thoughts out into the open.

“Really...?”

“Sorry...you probably think I’m messed up.” The older laughs as Kai blinks down at him with round eyes.

“Nope. Sometimes that’s just how the heart works and there’s nothing wrong with that.” Kai smiles, the wind ruffling his blond hair.

“So you don’t hate me...?”

“How could I? Especially when I like you as well, silly!”

—

“Can I come over to your place tonight?” Beomgyu asks Soobin as the figure skater is leaving the arena.

Soobin stops walking, turning to Beomgyu with a questioning look on his face. “Can you what?”

Beomgyu rolls his eyes. “Listen, Yeonjun is staying over at Kai’s tonight and I don’t feel like being alone after...you know...”

Soobin purses his lips, his mind flashing back to the bruises on Beomgyu’s skin. “Fine.”

—

“Why do you live alone? How do you even afford this place and skating.” Beomgyu asks annoyingly as he walks into Soobin’s apartment. He pokes around, looking at things more closely unlike last time.

“My mom bought me this place before um...well...I make a fair amount of money from winning competitions and my mom saved up a lot of money for my skating too.” Soobin says as he sits down on the couch. As if on command, Beomgyu spots a few frames of a beautiful woman who looks to be a figure skater too, he decides it’s Soobin’s mother.

“Where is she?” He asks, looking closer at the photos with curious eyes.

“Uh...sh—she....she’s...” Soobin stammers, unable to get the words out as he sits frozen. Beomgyu glances at him, noticing how pale Soobin looks.

Then he realizes.

“Oh—fuck...I’m sorry...” Beomgyu says, mentally cursing at himself.

“It’s okay...” Soobin whispers as he stares forward at the wall with a ghostly expression on his face. “S—she was a figure skater just like me...she was a—amazing.” His voice cracks, a sad looking glistening in his eyes.

“Is that why you love figure skating?” Beomgyu questions after a moment.

Soobin smiles softly, his dimples just barely showing. “Yes...she’s always been my inspiration...you know, that’s why I work so hard...I don’t wanna let her down.”

“Oh...I’m sure she’s really proud of you.”

“I hope so...”

—

“This movie sucks! Let me change it!” Beomgyu shrieks, jumping up from the couch beside Soobin. It’s been a few hours since their brief talk about Soobin’s mother, the two deciding to watch a movie now.

“I like this movie!” Soobin retorts, quickly grabbing the t.v remote so Beomgyu can’t have it.

“Give me that!” Beomgyu lunges forward, sitting himself down on Soobin’s lap as he reaches for the remote that Soobin waves away from him.

Then he realizes he’s just made a grave mistake.

Soobin smirks, dropping the remote behind the couch before grabbing Beomgyu’s thighs and effectively holding him down.

“Let me go.” Beomgyu groans as he sits with his arms crossed on Soobin’s lap.

“You’re not even gonna struggle?” Soobin says, looking confused. “You like this?”

“Why do you speak—anyways, I’m too lazy to move.” Beomgyu reasons even though his ears are burning and giving him away.

“Yeah? Well, you’re kind of facing the wrong way to see the movie.”

“I told you, this movie sucks.”

Soobin raises an eyebrow. “So you’re just gonna stare at my face.”

“I guess so.” Beomgyu huffs. “Also, how do you plan on getting the remote later?”

Soobin frowns, realization of what he’d done with the remote crossing over his face. “Uh—I’m not really sure...fuck…”

“Dumbass.”

—

The following evening, after Beomgyu finishes practice, his coach asks for him to come to his office. Beomgyu follows along, but is confused at the sudden request. He wonders what the coach could possibly have to say to him.

Slowly, he walks to his coach's office, closing the door behind himself as he enters.

His coach smiles at him, though, the smile looks a little...regretful?

“So—what did you want to talk to me about?” Beomgyu questions, standing before the man.

“Well, I’m not really sure how to say this but...Beomgyu, your parents have stopped paying for your hockey. They pulled out their funds the other day and said that it will be up to you now. I’m sure you know about this—“

“—what?!” Beomgyu yelps, cutting the man off at the sudden news.

“Oh? You didn’t know…?”

“No...” Beomgyu trembles, suddenly feeling terrified.

“I’m sorry to say this...but if you don’t pay by the end of this month...we’ll have no choice but to kick you from the team.” His coach says, giving Beomgyu a sad look.

“I can pay. I’ll get you money by the end of the month.” Beomgyu says quickly...though, he’s not actually sure that he’ll be able to.

“Okay. Thank you...you can go now.” Beomgyu nods, walking out almost mechanically as his stomach swirls.

His mind blurs, all his thoughts suddenly frantic as he walks. He doesn’t pay attention to his surroundings, his entire being numb.

Beomgyu nearly runs into someone, narrowly avoiding them as he walks with no fixed destination in mind.

However, they grab his shoulder and stop him from walking. He freezes, feeling like he’s been shocked as he hesitantly turns to the person.

“Beomgyu?” Soobin says, frowning at Beomgyu’s strange demeanor. “Are you...okay?”

Soobin’s hands on him feel electric, sparking against him, all his senses painfully hyper aware right now.

He shakes his head, stalking off to the locker room without a word.

Of course, Soobin follows behind him.

Beomgyu groans, whipping around to look at Soobin again. He can’t deal with this. “Not now, Soobin.”

Soobin doesn’t back away, only stepping closer. “Beomgyu, what's wrong with you? You look sick...?”

“Just leave me alone!” Beomgyu cries, his fists lightly hitting Soobin’s chest.

Soobin blinks, but still doesn’t listen to Beomgyu. Instead, he wraps Beomgyu up into a tight embrace. Beomgyu complains, but hugs onto Soobin nonetheless, his warmth somehow easing up his mind.

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s wrong.” Soobin says, his large hands rubbing over Beomgyu’s back.

Beomgyu winces, feeling his eyes wet with tears as he buries his face against Soobin. “M—my parents...they stopped paying for my hockey...I—I don’t know what to do—I have no money or anything...I’m gonna get kicked off my team...” He rambles, his voice breaking with unwarranted sobs.

“Oh...well, can’t you get a scholarship or something? Or maybe a job?” Soobin asks while still holding onto Beomgyu.

“I—I don’t know...” Beomgyu really hates how he keeps crying in front of Soobin like this...he hates this sudden vulnerability he keeps showing to the figure skater. “I—I can’t get a scholarship...I’m failing all my classes—“

“—Beomgyu?! What’s happening here...?” Yeonjun says suddenly as he crashes in, causing both boys to jump.

Beomgyu glances over to him with a tear stained face, Yeonjun’s expression turning from confusion to panic. “Beomie...why are you crying? Yeonjun worries, rushing towards the younger. Soobin let’s him go, allowing for Yeonjun to take over his job of holding the younger.

“My parents stopped paying for my hockey...” Beomgyu whispers, relaying a similar speech that he said to Soobin to Yeonjun.

Soobin only watches off to the side, slowly gathering his things as he listens to the two talk.

“Hey...I can help pay for this month, okay?” Yeonjun assures, hugging Beomgyu. “Then we’ll figure the rest out after, you don’t have to worry.”

“I—I can’t have you do that for me.” Beomgyu sobs.

Yeonjun shakes his head. “You can just pay me back once things are figured out. For now, I’ll help.”

“Y—you’ve been doing so much for me lately...I—I can’t keep burdening you like this.”

“You’re not a burden, you’re my best friend who I love and will always help. Now stop complaining and let’s get home and figure this out.”

“Okay...”

Chapter Text

It’s nearly 3am and Beomgyu is wide awake in Yeonjun’s kitchen. He really just can’t fall asleep after receiving such news earlier that day, the words still ringing in his mind. It left him sleepless, tossing and turning until he finally got up and wandered to the kitchen out of boredom.

He sighs, resting his head on the cold granite of Yeonjun’s kitchen counter. He lays there for what feels like hours, stuck wondering how he’ll pay for his hockey. He knows he can always get a job, but he also knows he probably wouldn’t be able to make enough money for each month of his hockey. He couldn’t even work much either since it would limit his time at hockey...and that’s the entire point after all. Not losing hockey. It’s an option of course, one he’ll probably have to take either way, but it’s still definitely not a guarantee for the amount of money he needs.

When did things become so messy? One minute everything in his life was somewhat fine...now it’s just all really bad.

Well...maybe not all bad he thinks as his mind accidentally drifts to the thought of Soobin. It’s a stupid thought...Soobin isn’t something he should think of as good in his life, he’s his enemy after all. But still, he can’t help but feel rather fond at the thought of the beautiful figure skater.

It’s terrible, the way Soobin has completely taken over his life. Before, he just hated the guy, only finding ways to annoy and mess with him. But now...now he just wants to be wrapped up in his arms...

Fuck.

Beomgyu shakes his head, tugging on the ends of his hair in frustration.

He can’t feel like this. He can’t.

This isn’t right.

—

A few days later, Instead of immediately heading to the rink, Soobin finds himself going over to Taehyun’s house.

He’s worried, seeing as Taehyun hasn’t been coming to the rink for a few days now. Also, every time Soobin tries to message him, he only sends short replies or doesn’t even reply at all. He says he’s just sick, that he’ll be back soon...but Soobin knows his best friend better than that. He knows that for whatever reason, Taehyun isn’t okay.

So, Soobin decides to go to the younger boy's house to check on him.

He walks up to the door, knowing better than to knock. Taehyun surely wouldn’t let him in willingly if he really is upset about something, but lucky for Soobin, he has a key to Taehyun’s place.

He quietly unlocks the door and steps inside. He glances around, noticing how dark and dismal it is. There’s no lights on or any windows even open...Taehyun is definitely not okay.

“Taehyun...?” Soobin calls as he slowly makes his way to Taehyun’s room. As expected, no reply comes.

He stops at the bedroom door, smiling when he sees the sheets on Taehyun’s bed moving. It’s clear the other boy is trying to hide from him beneath there.

“Leave me alone...” Taehyun huffs from beneath the sheets. He tries to sound angry, but Soobin can hear a sad sort of emptiness in his voice.

“How about you just tell me what’s wrong.” Soobin says, pushing himself beneath the covers next to Taehyun. Taehyun rolls over to face away from him, but he still presses his back against Soobin in the darkness, silently finding comfort in his friend.

“So, what happened?” Soobin urges, reaching to gently rub circles on Taehyun’s back.

“I’m an idiot is what happened.” Taehyun mutters.

“Yeah, you are,” he pauses, remembering seeing Yeonjun and Kai together even more these days. “Is it about Yeonjun?”

“Maybe...”

“Taehyun.”

Taehyun purses his lips, his fists clenching around the bed sheets. “Fine. Yes, yes it is...I got mad at him because I got jealous of Kai. Then he got really upset at how I’ve never treated him right and how he’s gonna go to Kai now because Kai treats him better. I mean, it’s true but...”

“What happened to your no feelings thing?” Soobin questions, even though he knows Taehyun definitely has feelings for the hockey player.

Taehyun groans. “I don’t know...I—I didn’t think I’d ever fall for him...I always just pushed his feelings away because I didn’t think I wanted that. I knew he liked me...but I pretended I didn’t like him...”

“Why’re you so goddamn stubborn?” Soobin huffs, rolling his eyes. “So basically, you’ve liked him for a while but have been too stupid to admit it, and now he’s gone to someone else who will?”

“I guess...I lost him to Kai now though, so it doesn't matter anymore...” Taehyun whispers sadly.

The boy’s always been too damn stubborn for his own good, ultimately making things more difficult for himself. Soobin knows best, having seen Taehyun’s stubbornness cause him trouble one too many times before.

“Okay...but if he had feelings for you, he probably still does?” Soobin decides, knowing that there’s no way Yeonjun could’ve just moved on to Kai so quickly. If they’ve been kissing like this for this long with added feelings, there’s no way Yeonjun would just give up so easily. That’s just not how the heart works.

“Isn’t it clear that he likes Kai now?” Taehyun says, confused by Soobin’s words.

“Sure, but he couldn’t have lost feelings for you that fast...what if he likes both of you?” Soobin never missed the way Yeonjun looked at Kai these days...but he also didn’t miss the way he looked at Taehyun too.

“After how I’ve treated him...?”

“You haven’t treated him that badly...you just were stubborn about the whole feelings thing which hurt him.” Soobin says, wrapping his arms around Taehyun. “You haven’t lost him yet, okay?”

“Okay...”

“Next time just ask me to come immediately, okay? Your stubbornness is seriously a pain in the ass.” Soobin sighs, giving Taehyun a soft squeeze. “Now let me give you some cuddles.”

—

Kai feels a little guilty as he watches Taehyun from across the arena, unable to look past how sad Taehyun looks. It’s been a few days since Taehyun has even been here, disappearing for a bit after his fight with Yeonjun for obvious reasons.

Taehyun’s been clinging onto Soobin all day, not even daring to look at Yeonjun or Kai. Kai obviously knows why, remembering Yeonjun’s confession about them very clearly. Though, he still feels a little guilty even if Taehyun did hurt Yeonjun.

If anything, he feels mostly guilty because it’s painfully obvious that Taehyun likes Yeonjun as well. It’s beyond easy to tell, even if Yeonjun doesn’t think so.

Kai has never once missed the stray glances Taehyun has given them, the hurt and envy on his face. He has known forever that Taehyun likes Yeonjun...and he knows now that he’s heartbroken seeing Kai with his once lover.

He sighs, desperately wondering what to do. He likes Yeonjun a lot, but it sucks to have to be hurting someone else at the same time.

As Kai watches, he wonders if there’s a way where everyone could be happy.

Maybe...just maybe there’s a way where everything can work out. Kai somewhat has an idea, but he’ll have to talk about it with Yeonjun first. He’s sure it will work though.

“Hey, baby.” Yeonjun says suddenly, sitting down next to Kai and breaking his thoughts. Kai smiles at him, reaching out to hold his hand. They’re not dating yet, both not quite ready, but still close enough.

“Hey you.” Kai whispers, giving Yeonjun a chaste kiss on the cheek.

Maybe later he’ll figure things out. For now though, he just wants to indulge himself in Yeonjun.

—

Beomgyu has been watching Soobin’s lesson with Seokjin the entire session, none of his team even left at the rink anymore. And now, he’s even watching Soobin skate alone as well.

Interestingly, he doesn’t say anything or throw out any of his annoying jabs like usual when he watches. Instead, he is just staring quietly like he is in some sort of trance by Soobin’s graceful movements.

Soobin of course tries his best to put on his best performance, wanting to impress Beomgyu for whatever reason.

He skates around for a bit longer before eventually stepping off the ice, his legs starting to hurt a little too much. He flops down on the stands, tugging off his skates as exhaustion weighs down on him.

Beomgyu makes his way over to him after a moment, a shit-eating grin already curving on his pretty face. Of course he couldn’t stay quiet forever.

“You look really hot in that turtleneck, doll.” Beomgyu hums.

“I—wha—huh?” Soobin chokes, taken aback by the unexpected compliment.

Beomgyu smirks, seeing a flush burning on Soobin’s ears. He decides to keep going, wanting to test Soobin’s limits. “Seriously, your body is just—wow.”

“Why are you saying this...?” Soobin whispers, shakily trying to put his shoes back on. “Why have you even been watching me for so long?”

“Well....I like watching attractive people.” Beomgyu says, a smugness painting over his face at Soobin’s shocked expression. “You’re really blushing right now—wait, do you have a thing for compliments?”

“What?! No way?!” Soobin yelps in panic. However, his face somehow gets redder and his eyes are just a little too wide to support his reply.

“Oh my god—you totally do!” Beomgyu shrieks, excitement filling his mind at the new information. “I can finally get you back!”

“NO!”

Beomgyu steps closer to Soobin, leaning down to trace his hands over Soobin’s chest teasingly.

“You’re so pretty, baby doll.” Beomgyu purrs, his voice low as he speaks. He can feel the figure skater's heart beating hard beneath his hands, a show of how much his words are truly getting to Soobin.

“B—baby doll...?

“Oh—you like that too?” Beomgyu licks his lips. “Now I know two of your weaknesses!” He laughs, puffing out his chest in triumph. Finally he can give Soobin a taste of his own medicine.

Soobin glances away, not daring to look at Beomgyu anymore. “S—shut up...”

“You’re beautiful.” Beomgyu breathes, leaning even closer to whisper in Soobin’s ear. “So beautiful...” Soobin bites down on his lip, only able to sit frozen while he internally battles a thousand butterflies.

Soobin exhales, trying to compose himself as Beogyu continues talking. There’s no way he can just let Beomgyu get away with this...Soobin can’t let himself lose to Beomgyu...not yet at least.

Luckily he knows Beomgyu’s weakness too.

Soobin moves to snake his arms around Beomgyu’s waist, moving to pull Beomgyu into his lap.

Beomgyu smugness falters as Soobin’s hands press to his back. He doesn’t fight back though, instead shifting himself to get comfortable on Soobin’s thighs.

“You know...I’m getting used to your hands on me, it’ll lose its effect soon.” Beomgyu mutters, desperately trying to keep his voice from shaking as he sits on Soobin’s lap.

“Somehow I find that hard to believe...but whatever you say.” Soobin whispers, narrowing his eyes as he thinks of what he wants to do.

Without warning, Soobin leans forward to playfully nip at Beomgyu’s neck. Beomgyu inhales sharply, his eyes wide as he blinks down at Soobin who looks up at him with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“This still has its effect, right?” Soobin mumbles against Beomgyu’s neck, the other boy's skin heating up beneath the warmth of his mouth.

Bingo.

Soobin slowly trails his mouth over Beomgyu’s neck, his hands squeezing the tops of the hockey player's thighs. Beomgyu arches against him, quietly whimpering as Soobin sucks at his neck.

Beomgyu’s eyes fall closed almost instantly, his head falling back for Soobin as he falls into a daze.

He never even stood a chance against Soobin.

Anyone could walk into the arena and see them together...but Beomgyu can’t bring himself to care, not when Soobin makes him feel this good. He doesn’t even care that he lost their little quarrel...he’d lose a thousand times over if this was his reward every time.

“Sensitive?” Soobin breathes, his lips lingering beneath Beomgyu’s ear. Beomgyu only trembles against him, feeling like a livewire as Soobin burns a path across his skin.

Beomgyu’s rational mind dissolves, leaving him a complete mess in Soobin’s arms once again. His only cohesive thought is...more...

“Soobin...please...” Beomgyu sighs. “Please...kiss me...”

Soobin freezes, quickly pulling back at the words, his hands falling from Beomgyu. “What...?”

Beomgyu snaps his eyes open, horror washing over his face as he falls out of his lovesick daze. “Fuck—I—I don’t know why I said that...fuck...can we just forget about that...?”

“You want me to kiss you...?” Soobin questions, his curiosity piquing at Beomgyu’s sudden
request.

“NO!” Beomgyu screams, burying his face into his hands.

“You kind of just begged me to kiss you though.” Soobin teases, poking at Beomgyu’s chest.

Beomgyu shakes his head, his bright red face still hidden in his hands. “Shut up! I told you to forget about it!”

“It literally happened a minute ago—and I think it’s gonna be pretty hard to forget the Choi Beomgyu begging for me to kiss him.”

“STOP TALKING!”

Soobin scoffs, “make me.”

“I am not falling for that!” Beomgyu shrieks, hurriedly crawling off of Soobin’s lap.

“I’m leaving!” He yells before breaking into a run, unable to face Soobin a moment longer after his accidental slip up. He can hear Soobin laughing behind him, causing him to nearly trip and fall into a wall as he frantically tries to escape the arena.

Beomgyu is so fucked.

—

“Yeonjun! I need your help with something!” Beomgyu screams as he walks into Yeonjun’s house.

After what happened with Soobin, he had immediately run out of the rink and made his way home. He needs to talk to Yeonjun, he needs to figure everything out once and for all.

He’s beyond confused by his own thoughts, by his own want for Soobin. He’s never been like this before, so openly needy for someone. He’d been so desperate back there, a complete mess for Soobin.

Even now, his mind is still dizzy with thoughts of Soobin.

“What?” Yeonjun yells back, stepping out from the kitchen. His eyes immediately flicker to Beomgyu's neck, his eyebrows raising at the sight. “Geez your neck—you let Soobin do that to you again? You’re seriously gone for him, aren’t you?”

Beomgyu groans, self consciously bringing his hands up to cover the exposed marks on his neck. “It just feels good, okay? And this isn’t about that—well, actually...okay maybe it kind of is.”

Yeonjun laughs, bringing them to sit at the counter, feeling like this conversation is going to be awhile. “Go on.”

Beomgyu presses his lips into a thin line, trying to figure out the best way to explain his predicament. It all seems too embarrassing to confess, but he has no one else but Yeonjun to go to about it.

After some hesitation, he finally decides to speak, gaining enough confidence to do so.

“Um—while Soobin was, you know...kissing my neck...I um...I accidentally said something that I definitely did not mean to say.”

“Okay...what did you say?” Yeonjun prods, a curious expression swirling in his cat-like eyes.

Beomgyu lets out a heavy sigh, embarrassment weighing down on with the more that he speaks. “I kind of begged him to kiss me...?” He murmurs after a second, wanting to immediately drop dead after saying something like that out loud.

“You what?!” “Wait! Did he kiss you?” Yeonjun yelps, that being the last thing he expected to hear Beomgyu say. The thought of Beomgyu, who is overly confident and somewhat arrogant, begging for a kiss from his self proclaimed enemy...now this...this is interesting.

“No! I ran away—“

“—you ran away...?”

“I don’t even know why I said that!” Beomgyu exclaims, looking more and more troubled by the thought. “I was just fucking dazed or some shit...and besides, I’m not ready for him to kiss me yet!”

Yeonjun blinks in surprise. “Yet...? So you want him to kiss you eventually?”

Beomgyu turns pale, slapping Yeonjun’s shoulder at the suggestion. “Fuck no! He’s still my enemy, you idiot!” Though, Beomgyu isn’t sure he can even believe his own words anymore.

Yeonjun reaches to tap at the marks on Beomgyu’s neck. “These says otherwise.”

Beomgyu flushes, shoving Yeonjun’s hands away. “Shut up. I told you it just feels good.”

“Well yeah but...wait—do you ever even return the favor?” Yeonjun asks, very apparently interested in what Beomgyu has going on with Soobin.

Beomgyu purses his lips, realizing that he never really does anything like that for Soobin. Soobin is always the one hugging him and everything. Sure, it’s probably just so he can tease Beomgyu, but what if Soobin wants affection too?

“Beomgyu...? You good?” Yeonjun says, waving his hands in the other boy's face, shaking Beomgyu from his mess of thoughts.

“I never thought to...I’m not even sure how I would—“ Beomgyu mumbles, still a little lost in thought.

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you, but just try something. I’m sure you’d get a good reaction out of him anyways.” Beomgyu nods, liking the idea of making Soobin really flustered again like earlier today. He’ll definitely have to indulge in that later.

“Anyways, what did you even want to ask me?” Yeonjun says, reminding Beomgyu of his original question for the older boy. Though, after all this talking and thinking, it feels a little useless now.

“Oh yeah. Uh—well...why do I like it when Soobin touches me. Like, I let myself be so vulnerable in front of him and he makes me feel...comfortable? Oh and why did my subconscious mind want him to kiss me…?”

“Beomgyu...I know you’re not that dumb.” Yeonjun says.

“B—but...” Beomgyu pouts, already having known the answer to his question.

“Just admit that you have feelings for Soobin.”

“I don’t!”

“Beomgyu.”

Beomgyu sighs, dreading the truth.

“Fine...I have feelings for Soobin...”

—

“You look a little stressed today, baby doll.” Beomgyu says as he walks up to Soobin in the locker room the next evening.

At first, he had wanted to hide from the figure skater, except he’d noticed that Soobin had been a little off all day, clearly stressed out by something. So, he decided to not be a bitch and try out what Yeonjun suggested to him.

“Thank you for noticing.” Soobin growls, slamming his locker shut.

It’s just the two of them in the room, no one else to disturb Beomgyu’s plans.

He steps closer to Soobin, the other boy turned away from him. “Let me help you.”

“What the fuck is that supposed—“

Beomgyu reaches up to grab Soobin’s shoulders, slowly working his hands to massage the figure skaters very tense muscles.

Soobin stands very stiff at first, confused by the sudden gesture. Though, after a moment of Beomgyu massaging him, he relaxes into his hands.

Beomgyu grins, going onto his tiptoes to press a kiss to the back of Soobin’s neck. Soobin shudders, the feeling of Beomgyu’s lips on his skin foreign.

The hockey player turns him around, a smug look in his eyes as Soobin looks down at him dumbly.

Beomgyu leans forward to kiss up Soobin’s neck, pushing him back into the lockers while mimicking what the figure skater usually does for him.

He leaves chaste butterfly kisses against Soobin’s skin, lingering his mouth here and there as he gains more confidence. He earns quiet whimpers as well as Soobin shivering against him, the boy falling completely under his spell.

Beomgyu beams, never never once having Soobin like this before, usually it’s the other way around. Soobin seems to like it though, letting Beomgyu do whatever he wants.

Yeonjun was right, he is definitely getting a good reaction out of Soobin.

Beomgyu wonders if Soobin has wanted this from Beomgyu all along...perhaps that’s why he’s being so compliant right now.

Beomgyu should really stop being so selfish.

“You know...your skating was amazing today—I liked your pretty outfit a lot.” Beomgyu says, testing out some compliments as well, knowing those also get to Soobin.

Soobin can’t help but smile, his dimples popping for Beomgyu to see. Beomgyu smirks, finding Soobin’s little dimpled smile impossibly adorable. He gives his neck another open mouthed kiss for that, happily leaving his own marks on Soobin.

“Still stressed?” Beomgyu whispers after a few more seconds pass by. He leans back to look at Soobin, his fingers tangling in his hair. He grins, seeing the blush on Soobin’s cheeks more clearly now that they’re apart. He likes this.

Soobin only blinks at him, his eyes half lidded, that little smile still curving on his lips. He looks so...happy.

God how Beomgyu wants to kiss him right now...he could just—

“Soobin! Are you in there, we gotta go!” Taehyun calls into the locker room suddenly. Both boys jump back from each other in panic, Soobin nearly hitting his head on the lockers.

Luckily Taehyun didn’t walk in on them, still standing outside...thank god.

“Coming!” Soobin calls awkwardly, his voice a little strained.

As Soobin turns to leave, he stops, turning to Beomgyu again. “Um...I—I have a competition this weekend...you know...if you wanna come watch or something...” He asks, rubbing over his neck awkwardly.

Beomgyu smiles, “I’ll be there.”

—

“So you’re that figure skater’s bitch now. You’re just letting him do that shit to you?” One of Beomgyu’s teammates laughs when he walks into the practice room the next day.

“W—what…?” Beomgyu says, his voice stiff. Too many of his teammates are staring at him, their eyes mocking and judgmental. He feels small under their gaze, feeling too much like all those times his father would hurt him.

Usually he has command over his team, usually he’s confident and unbothered...but somehow this is different...he feels completely powerless.

He feels scared.

“Oh come on, Beomgyu, no one is missing how much you’re around his bitch ass lately.” Someone else pipes up, more laughter echoing through the room.

They’re all laughing at him.

“Exactly. And if you’re gonna let him suck your fucking neck, make sure not to do it on the stands in the arena.” Beomgyu burns with embarrassment, realizing people had seen them.

He feels sick.

Yeonjun is nowhere to be found, nor is Kai, they’re probably off somewhere together.

Beomgyu is all alone.

“Um—I’m just using him for fun...you know?” Beomgyu chokes out, his hands trembling at his sides as he tries to awkwardly laugh. “He doesn’t even mean anything to me.”

“Oh yeah? So he’s like your dog then—that’s cute.”

“Uh huh…”

“Is that right?” Another voice says from behind Beomgyu, making his blood run cold. “Is that what I am to you?”

Soobin.

“You gonna answer your bitch?” His teammate laughs, leaning back to watch with a smirk.

Everyone stares mockingly, most of Beomgyu’s team being, all of them waiting to make cruel remarks against him.

They won’t respect him anymore if he answers wrong.

“Soobin, you’re stupid if you actually thought you meant anything to me. You’re just easy, that’s all you are.” Beomgyu says, fighting back the tears that burn in his throat.

Since when did he become so weak?

“Really? I’m easy?” Soobin growls, his eyes terrifyingly dark. Beomgyu realizes that this is Soobin he’s messing with...Soobin doesn’t back down. “You know, I think I remember you in my lap begging for me to kiss you. You’re always fucking pleading for me to even touch you actually, pretty needy for someone who says I’m the easy one if you ask me.”

A few guys laugh, everyone whispering as they watch the scene unfold. Beomgyu stands frozen, unable to speak, everything suddenly dizzy.

“You didn’t mean anything to me either, Beomgyu. I just wanted to see how easily I could control your touch-starved ass.” Soobin spits before walking back out of the locker room and leaving Beomgyu all alone.

.

.

.

Beomgyu breaks.

Chapter Text

Beomgyu shatters...the thin thread inside of him snapping as he finally unravels.

His vision blurs white, everything ringing quietly around him.

Fainty, he can hear his teammates throwing cruel jests at him, everyone making a show out of him.

Their laughter burns through him, Soobin’s words only fuelling their fire that rages against him.

Tears glass over his eyes as he stands still, his entire body trembling now as everyone just gets louder.

He barely registers their words as they speak, effectively blocking them out similarly to how he did with his parents. They just sound like a lot of hyenas at this point, far too noisy for Beomgyu’s breaking heart.

They’re all making fun of him and he can’t do anything to stop them. Malicious or not, their words and laughter still hurt like hell for someone so terrified after a life of abuse. Once a great leader to them, he’s now been diminished to nothing but something for entertainment.

Beomgyu wants to fight back, he wants to hurt them like he knows he can. But for some reason his body just won’t move, his entire being just shutting down like he’s a puppet to them.

He feels sick from everything, and especially sick with crimson guilt. His words to Soobin still cling onto his tongue like a harsh poison that slowly chokes him out.

Beomgyu hadn’t wanted to hurt Soobin...but he was backed up into a corner with nowhere to go. Like an animal, he chose the easiest option out, and that option just so happened to be the most cruel one.

When one has been hurt for so long, they’ll do anything to avoid more hurt...even if that means hurting someone else. It’s a terrible cycle of selfishness, a constant battle to protect oneself over another.

Useless. That’s what Beomgyu is at this moment...he’s exactly what his parents always called him. He wasn’t even brave enough to defend Soobin...only caring about himself at the moment.

Except then Beomgyu remembers Soobin’s own cruel words directed at him, each syllable still clouding his thoughts like a plague.

He wonders if Soobin had truly meant what he had said, if this had all been a sick sort of game with no real weight behind it.

Had Beomgyu really been so stupid to actually think he meant something to Soobin? That what they were doing was more than just a way for Soobin to get back at Beomgyu.

Did it all really mean nothing? Perhaps to Soobin...but not to Beomgyu. To Beomgyu, it meant everything.

At that moment, when his thoughts become too troublesome, Beomgyu runs, unable to be alone with these hyenas any longer.

He’s a coward...surely they won’t forget this pitiful display of weakness.

Maybe later he’ll make them forget...but right now...he’s too broken to do anything.

Right now...Beomgyu needs Soobin.

...

“S—Soobin...” Beomgyu calls out after the figure skater, his voice broken as he hopelessly grasps at his shirt.

Soobin stops, whipping around to glare at him, his expression beyond cold. “What the fuck do you want.”

“Please...I’m sorry...please...I—I need—“

“—don’t even fucking try. You think your little sorry is gonna do anything? Sorry, but I’m tired of being your easy little bitch.” Soobin spits, shaking Beomgyu’s hand off the fabric of his shirt.

“You’re not! I—I didn’t mean that...I was just scared...please!” Beomgyu pleads, heat stinging in the corners of his eyes.

“I don’t mean anything to you, and you don’t mean anything to me.” Soobin hisses. “Maybe you were lying to save your sorry ass, but I wasn’t.”

A deep chasm forms in Beomgyu’s heart at that moment, everything splitting inside of him. It comes in the form of a soft pain that flows through his chest, then it starts to burn terribly, Soobin slowly carving his heart out without a care in the world.

Beomgyu shakes his head, his nails digging half moons into his palms as everything becomes too overwhelming.

“No...no you don’t mean that...”

Had he really been so deluded by the affection that he didn’t realize it was all fake? Did it all really mean nothing?

Soobin clenches his jaw, avoiding eye contact with the hockey player now. Beomgyu stands unmoving, desperately hoping Soobin will give up whatever this is...that he will give Beomgyu the comfort he so painfully needs from the older.

“Beomgyu. Just go back to your fucking team. You wanted to impress them so bad anyways so why not go fucking be with them.” Soobin says finally, still not daring to look at Beomgyu.

“I was scared! Soobin—I’ve been hurt my entire life...I’m not as strong as you think I am.” Beomgyu admits, baring himself for Soobin. Perhaps if he becomes vulnerable again, Soobin will fall to his command. “The confidence, the fearlessness, it’s all an act! I’m not any of that! I’m fucking terrified!”

Soobin scoffs, stepping back further from Beomgyu. “Fine, you’re scared. I get it. But that doesn’t mean you can just fucking hurt other people to protect yourself.”

Soobin’s right...but why can’t he understand that this isn’t that easy for Beomgyu. Why can’t he just listen?!

“I know! I know b—but—“

“—just save it.”

A long pause follows, Soobin wavering on his feet, so close to just walking away.

Beomgyu’s nails cut deeper into his palms, probably bloody by now. “Do I really not mean anything to you...?” He asks, praying that Soobin’s answer will change.

“I already told you that you don’t.” Soobin deadpans, leaving no room for hesitation. “You’re not special to me, Beomgyu.”

Beomgyu feels the blood drip from his hands, each drop hitting the floor as it all comes crashing down.

Beomgyu’s feelings are one-sided...nothing but unrequited love born from a messy game of revenge.

Not another second passes before Soobin leaves. He doesn’t even spare Beomgyu another glance, only leaving without a word.

At that moment, futile agony twists in Beomgyu’s vulnerable heart, everything slowly breaking inside his already broken self.

He collapses to the floor once Soobin is out of view, letting himself finally cry. He curls in on himself, sobs wracking through his body in the most painful of ways. He’s sure people are watching him now, sure his team is watching as he cries like a child on the floor. Though, he’s too stunned from Soobin’s words to even notice what’s happening around him anymore.

“Beomgyu? Oh god—are you okay!” Kai shrieks, momentarily breaking through the numbness of Beomgyu’s mind. He feels arms wrap around him, but he doesn’t react, entirely desensitized to the situation. The person, who he guesses is Kai, envelops him into a hug, holding him close to their beating heart. Though, his touch is not quite as warm as Soobins...nothing is quite as warm as Soobin.

“What the fuck is going on out here?!” Yeonjun screams moments after, having obviously come with Kai.

“Our captain is a fucking bitch is what’s happening—a useless crying one at that.” One hockey player sneers, kicking at Beomgyu on the floor.

Looks like his team is out here now...of course they have to see him like this...how pathetic.

“Don’t fucking talk about him like that!” Yeonjun yells, shoving the other hockey player back.

“I’ll say whatever the fuck I want.” The guy scoffs, his eyes blazing as he looks at Yeonjun.

At that moment, Yeonjun snaps.

He doesn’t waste a second listening to the rest of what the guy has to say, instead swinging his fist directly into his cheek. The guy falls back, glancing back at Yeonjun with dark eyes

Yeonjun lunges forward, slamming his teammates head into the ground, a terrifying expression masking over his face.

“I’ll make it so you can never play hockey again you fucking bitch!”

The next few moments are all too messy, everything happening too fast. Yeonjun punches the guy until his fists are dripping in blood, until someone has to drag him away as if he’s a wild animal.

“Yeonjun! Stop—please...you’ll get kicked off the team!” Kai begs off to the side, still clutching onto Beomgyu as Yeonjun struggles against whoever holds him back.

Yeonjun let’s out a sickening laugh, easily shoving back his captor. “At this rate, I’d rather that then have to keep being around these fucking assholes!”

“Yeonjun! Please just stop!” Kai screams again. “Let’s just leave...please! Beomgyu needs help!”

Yeonjun pauses, glancing down at the broken hockey player before him. Everyone else watches in horror, their eyes fixed on Yeonjun with nothing but fear.

Any minute now the coach will come...if they catch Yeonjun like this...it won’t end well.

Yeonjun sighs, finally giving in to Kai’s pleas. He stands up and makes his way over to Beomgyu, helping Kai drag him to his feet.

At this time, Beomgyu is completely unresponsive, letting the two carry him however they like. He doesn’t even try and walk, his entire body too numb to do so as they leave.

Shortly after, Beomgyu passes out, unable to stay awake with his dizzy mind any longer.

Maybe it’ll all hurt less when he wakes up.

—

Beomgyu blinks awake hours later on Yeonjun’s couch. He sleepily glances over to Yeonjun and Kai who sit on the floor close by.

“Oh—Beomgyu! You’re awake.” Kai chirps, noticing Beomgyu looking at him.

Beomgyu presses his lips into a thin line, the memories of earlier floating through his mind. He sucks in a breath, hating the way his throat tightens at the memory of Soobin’s words to him.

“What the hell happened today?” Yeonjun asks seconds later, scooting over to sit next to Beomgyu on the couch.

Slowly, Beomgyu explains everything, from what he said in the locker room to Soobin’s final words. Yeonjun and Kai listen intently, sad expressions on their faces as Beomgyu tries to explain without breaking down.

Of course, he does end up crying again, unable to fight back the waterfall of agony resting inside himself.

“I—I just thought that maybe it all meant something to him...I know we’re enemies but I thought things had changed even a little bit...” Beomgyu sobs, his hands clenching in the blankets surrounding him.

“Hey—he could’ve just been caught up in the moment and lashed out. When people are upset, they say and do things they don’t mean.” Kai says, rubbing Beomgyu’s thigh reassuringly.

Beomgyu nods, hoping that Kai is right. He clings onto that idea, praying that Soobin will come back to him eventually.

When did he become this goddamn desperate for someone? Let alone his own rival.

“Yeah...let’s forget about this for now though, okay? How about some ramen as a distraction?” Yeonjun offers, gently combing through Beomgyu’s hair.

Beomgyu gives a half smile, sadness still busting inside him. “Okay...”

Maybe the ramen will cast aside the sadness for just a little bit.

Spoiler alert. It doesn’t.

—

Throughout the night, Beomgyu’s sadness melts into blinding fury, his usual deceitful facade returning to him once the morning comes around.

As he steps into the locker rooms the next day, some of his teammates laugh at him...but Beomgyu won’t have it today.

He refuses to be seen as weak.

Without warning, Beomgyu lunges at the guy who had started the entire thing yesterday. This particular player is definitely a little too alpha male for his own good.

Beomgyu slams his head into the lockers, his hand sliding to grip around the hockey player's throat.

“What the fuck!” His teammate splutters, clawing at Beomgyu’s hands.

Beomgyu smirks, watching as the guy's face slowly turns pale as he squeezes his throat even harder.

It’s satisfying. So fucking good to see this person make him suffer like he did.

Though, he wonders if this makes him just like his father…?

“Don’t think you can fuck with me anymore.” Beomgyu growls, a manic look gleaming in his eyes. “I’m the captain of this fucking team and you all better fucking obey me or I’ll make you forget your own name.”

Finally, Beomgyu lets go, throwing the guy to the side when he feels he’s gotten his point across. He glances at the rest of his team, his hair falling over his eyes as he grins, baring his teeth. A few guys shrink back, others nodding to him, each clearly understanding their place.

Before yesterday, they all listened to his authority, knew his power...Beomgyu just needed to reinforce it. He isn’t weak, far from it.

Beomgyu will always remain on top.

...

“That was pretty badass back there.” Yeonjun grins as he walks out with Beomgyu and Kai.

“Yeah!” Kai cheers. “You sure showed them!”

Beomgyu smiles, though, it’s completely baseless. “They got to me yesterday, but I won’t let them forget that I’m the king around her.”

Of course, this is all just a false display of confidence like usual. Inside, Beomgyu is seriously falling apart.

Oh how he just wants to be in Soobin’s arms again.

“There’s my best friend.” Yeonjun smiles. “They don’t stand a chance against you.”

Wrong.

They already broke him.

—

After too much alcohol and an unstable mind, Beomgyu finds himself swaying with too many people inside of the suffocating walls of a nightclub.

Once practice ended, he found his way here, needing a change of atmosphere for a bit.

He downs another shot, the cruel liquid burning heavy against his throat. He shivers, biting down the urge to gag at the bitter taste that swims in his mouth. Never will he get used to such an acrid taste...it sure as hell makes him feel alive though.

Alcohol dumbs him down to nothing, taking away all the bad feelings for just a few hours. It’s nice (it’s not).

With a heavy heart and a desperate need to feel the void that Soobin left in his heart, he tries to find his missing piece in someone else. Of course, he knows he won’t find what he needs in these drunken strangers, but he can sure as hell try. He just needs something, someone, to calm the storm inside his beating heart like Soobin once did.

Eventually, he ends up pressed to a wall somewhere in a dark corner of the club. The music still blaring down on his soul, each beat knocking against his dazed mind.

He’d been the one to drag this stranger here from the dance floor. He doesn’t even know their name, he just wanted a kiss...something he never got from Soobin.

However, Beomgyu realizes that the hands of a stranger don’t quite burn the same as Soobin’s do. Their touch doesn’t elicit that spark inside him, they don’t tame and control the beast quite like Soobin can. Instead, their hands feel wrong, uncomfortable, sickening. He doesn’t like it, he doesn't like being touched by someone who isn’t Soobin.

Their lips against his, the heat of their falling mouth against his skin...it all feels horribly wrong though. The kiss is entirely distasteful, making him want to throw up the longer it goes on.

Beomgyu doesn’t feel good.

This is disgusting.

God how he just wants to feel something again...but he can’t...not without Soobin...

—

“Whoa—what happened to you?” Yeonjun questions as Beomgyu stumbles into the house way too late into the night. He wonders why Yeonjun is even awake, perhaps he was worried and waiting for him...Beomgyu would like to think that at least.

He wants to think that at least someone cares about him.

“Um...late night partying...” Beomgyu whispers, his words slurring together slightly as the alcohol still stings on his tongue.

“Oh? You okay? You look a little—“

“—no...I tried to let someone else kiss me...touch me...it didn’t feel like Soobin though...I hated it...” Beomgyu confesses, the feeling of the strangers kiss still lingering on his lips in the worst of ways.

“Oh, Beomie.” Yeonjun says, a sad look fluttering over his face as he opens his arms for his best friend. “Come here, baby.”

Beomgyu obeys, letting himself fall into his best friend's arms as restless sobs cut through his body.

“W—when did I become like this?” Beomgyu whimpers, curling further into Yeonjun. “What happened to me...?”

“You let yourself fall...”

“How do I get back up...?”

“You can’t.”

“Do you think Soobin just used me?” Beomgyu asks after a moment, the question still weighing heavy on his mind. Even now, he still refuses to believe that Soobin had meant what he had said. “Do you think he really was telling me the truth when he said I meant nothing to him?”

Yeonjun shakes his head, giving Beomgyu a reassuring smile. “No...he looks at you differently, you know...too much like he’s in love with you to mean what he said. Honestly, I think he’s just as scared as you.”

“Maybe...but what if he’s not…?”

“Only time will tell…”

—

The following morning, Beomgyu decides he needs to do something about how he’s feeling. It’s been too long since he’s last seen Soobin, the figure skater narrowly avoiding him at the rink.

Beomgyu remembers Soobin asking him to come to his competition this weekend, that bit of information never leaving his mind.

Except since they had their fight, he never managed to get where or when the competition was.

He wants to go, painfully so...it might be his only chance in apologizing to Soobin properly. Even if Soobin still says Beomgyu means nothing to him, Beomgyu will take that gamble just to show him how much he really cares.

He knows he can’t just ask Soobin for the competition information though. So he goes to the next best option instead...Taehyun.

...

“Taehyun...can I talk to you please?” Beomgyu says awkwardly once he walks up to Taehyun.

Taehyun shoots him a glare, his eyes dark as he looks Beomgyu up and down. “What the fuck could your dumbass possibly want.”

“Please...can we just talk...?” Beomgyu tries again, hating how pitiful he feels beneath Taehyun’s cold gaze.

“Fine. Say what you want.”

Beomgyu hesitates, knowing there’s no way Taehyun will willingly give him what he wants. Except he’s so goddamn defeated that he can only try.

“Um—can you tell me when and where Soobin’s competition is this weekend...?” Beomgyu tenses, feeling way too vulnerable...what happened to the headstrong captain of the hockey team? Is this what Soobin has reduced him to? No wait—Beomgyu was never really strong in the first place, that’s all just a lie.

Taehyun blinks, letting out a small laugh as he looks at Beomgyu. “And what makes you think I’d tell you that after what you said to him. Why the hell would you even want to go?”

“Can you just tell me?” Beomgyu urges, his voice a little harsh as he gets impatient.

“No.”

“Please.”

“Tell me one good reason why.”

“Because I like him, okay!” Beomgyu blurts. He slaps his hands over his mouth, both his and Taehyun’s eyes wide at his accidental confession.

“You what...?” Taehyun whispers, his eyes turning from angry to curious.

Beomgyu rubs his hands over his face. “Please don’t tell Soobin...”

He feels like a complete idiot, who the hell confesses their feelings to said person’s best friend. Of course he’s going to tell Soobin, why the hell wouldn’t he?

“Alright Mr. Lovesick...I’ll cut you a deal.” Taehyun smirks.

Beomgyu perks up, “what?”

“You can have my silence as well as where and when Soobin’s competition is if you make Yeonjun talk to me. Alone.”

Beomgyu blinks, raising his eyebrow at the figure skater. “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“Fine. Let me ask Yeonjun...”

...

“Can you please just do it.” Beomgyu begs, his eyes pleading as he stands before Yeonjun.

“You’re literally blackmailing me into talking with Taehyun.” Yeonjun says blankly, his expression tired as he looks at Beomgyu.

“Yeonjun...you need to talk to him anyways.” Beomgyu presses, knowing damn well that Yeonjun needs to talk with Taehyun. After all, Yeonjun had told Beomgyu about what happened with him and Taehyun...so this is inevitable anyways.

Yeonjun huffs, running his fingers through his hair. “I really fucking hate you, you know that right?”

Beomgyu grins, “I do.”

“I’m only doing this because I’m sick of seeing your ass crying around my house.”

“Hey! I cry when no one’s looking.”

“Yes. Like in the shower.”

Beomgyu gasps, his eyes widening at the implication. “Oh my god you can hear that.”

Yeonjun nods. “You cry really fucking loud.”

...

Before Taehyun walks into the locker room, he quickly tells Beomgyu where and when Soobin’s competition.

It’s tomorrow. Perfect timing.

...

“Alright, what the hell do you want, Taehyun.” Yeonjun growls as Taehyun steps inside the locker room with him.

Taehyun smiles, a smug glint in his eyes. “I want to talk with you.

“Really? Are you finally being mature instead of a stubborn asshole?”

“Oh shut up—“ Taehyun groans, reaching to pull Yeonjun closer.

“—don’t touch me.” Yeonjun snaps, stepping back and avoiding Taehyun’s hand. “I’m not going behind Kai’s back with you.”

“That’s not what I was trying to do...I just miss you…” Taehyun huffs, letting his hand awkwardly fall to his side. “If he let you—could I touch you?”

“Just what the fuck do you want to talk about?” Yeonjun growls, avoiding the question.

“Us.”

...

As Beomgyu stands outside the room waiting for Yeonjun, his phone starts to ring in his pocket.

He pulls his phone out and glances at it absentmindedly. However, his breath hitches when he sees his mother’s contact flashing on the screen.

Hesitantly, he answers, wondering just exactly what she has to say to him after all these days of radio silence.

They always say curiosity killed the cat.

“What the fuck do you want.” Beomgyu growls once he picks up, irritated by this sudden call.

His mother laughs, not even saying hello, instead cutting right to the chase. “Beomgyu, I think it’s time you come home.”

“Why the fuck would I?” Beomgyu’s mind spins, his mother’s voice pouring over him like gasoline while she holds the lighter.

“We don’t want anyone finding out that our eldest son is a good for nothing runaway. People have started asking questions, and you know, it’s not very good for our image, especially for your father as the head of his company.”

Beomgyu scoffs, rolling his. Of course that’s all they care about.

However, just as he’s about to hang up, she says something that finally gets his attention.

“Beomgyu, if you come home...we’ll pay for your hockey again, how’s that sound?”

He freezes, her words twisting in his mind like a disease. “W—what...really?”

“Yes, dear—but only if you listen to us of course. So, will you come home, Beomgyu?”

...

“Us? There is no us—you made that very clear with your whole no feelings thing.” Yeonjun scoffs, pacing back and forth, clearly agitated.

“Yeonjun.” Taehyun sighs, giving up on delaying the inevitable. “I—I do have feelings for you...I have for a while...”

“What?” Yeonjun turns to him, seemingly interested.

“Listen...I was just really stubborn and didn’t want to admit it...” Taehyun continues, his gaze flitting to the ground. “I’m sorry...”

“Well maybe you should have said something sooner, Taehyun...I’m with Kai now.” Yeonjun says, his voice shaky as he makes his way towards the door. “Me and you are nothing now.”

“I know...I just wanted to tell you.” Taehyun whispers as Yeonjun leaves, his heart crumpling in his chest once again.

Stupidly, he had thought talking with Yeonjun would make things better...that it would bring Yeonjun back to him.

He was wrong.

—

Beomgyu finds himself standing before the front door of his parents house later that night. It looms over him in all its greatness, silently mocking his pathetic selc.

He’d snuck out of Yeonjun’s place earlier, not daring to let him know about the phone call with his mother.

Yeonjun would only try to stop him..and Beomgyu didn’t want to be stopped anymore. Really, a part of him is just convinced that this might be a good enough punishment for hurting Soobin.

He’s so broken.

He deserves whatever his parents will do to him…everything they say about him is right after all.

Beomgyu lets out a sigh, clinging onto his backpack as he stands there.

He remembers that Soobin’s competition is tomorrow, and that in itself is enough to keep going in the end, no matter how scared he is.

Hidden away inside his backpack, he even has a bunny plushie for Soobin that he had bought earlier. Tomorrow he plans to get him pretty flowers too...hopefully Soobin will like his gifts.

Slowly, Beomgyu knocks on the door, his mind burning with even more fear as he waits for someone to answer. Every part of his body urges him to run away, to leave before it’s too late...but he doesn’t move.

Finally the door opens...he comes face to face with his father.

“Oh—look who finally came home.” His father sneers, dragging Beomgyu inside by his hair.
“What a good boy…”

.

.

.

Beomgyu never shows up for Soobin’s competition.

Chapter Text

“Do I really not mean anything to you...?” Beomgyu asks, his eyes pleading as he stares up at Soobin with a sad look of hope on his face.

Desperately, Soobin wants to give in, wants to hold Beomgyu and tell him that everything will be alright…but Soobin is scared too…and just like Beomgyu, he’s a coward.

“I already told you that you don’t.” Soobin says finally. If he hesitated, it doesn’t show. “You’re not special to me, Beomgyu.”

Soobin is a liar.

Beomgyu is special to him…but Soobin has always been able to lie easily.

In a world that’s constantly hurt him, this has been his only way of surviving.

.

.

.

Soobin walks away after that, unable to face Beomgyu any longer as a torment of guilt builds up inside him.

He pretends he doesn’t hear Beomgyu’s pitiful cries as he leaves…he pretends he doesn’t want to run back and pull him into his arms.

It’s obvious that Beomgyu has been finding some sort of comfort in him, perhaps an escape from all the hurt in his life. But now, not only is Soobin gone…but he’s the one hurting Beomgyu as well.

Dark thoughts weigh heavy on Soobin’s mind, painful memories from past and present suddenly coming forth as everything comes crashing down.

Back there…Soobin had been cruel…but what Beomgyu doesn’t know is that Soobin has been hurt too…

Though vastly different, they still share similar experiences.

However, unlike Beomgyu situation, it was never Soobin’s parents that hurt him. Instead, it was other figure skaters and students who hurt him. Sometimes even coaches too.

Only rarely did anyone ever become physical towards Soobin though, only a few times, but most times it was just verbal. Beomgyu suffered more in that factor, from the clear physical abuse and most likely verbal from his parents, but Soobin still suffered mentally nonetheless.

Even now, the nightmares and dark thoughts still burn heavy in Soobin’s mind. Sure, with Taehyun and his mothers help, he managed to overcome almost everything…but still, a person can never be fully healed after being broken so many times.

…

“Taehyun. Can you come over and give me cuddles while we drink together tonight.” Soobin sighs, making his way over to Taehyun who stands just outside the rink. He feels beyond terrible after all that and wants nothing more than to drown his sorrows in alcohol.

“Geez what the hell happened to you?” Taehyun comments, taking in Soobin’s disheveled appearance. “But yeah sure…honestly I think I need a drink too.”

—

A few hours later, Soobin’s tongue burns with cheap liquor, the nauseating taste rolling down his throat as he brings his lips to the bottle again.

He sighs, dragging his shaking fingers through his hair as he explains what happened to Taehyun.

“So you just left him after you said all that?” Taehyun asks once Soobin finishes telling him everything.

Soobin nods, pressing his palms to his face at the memory. He so vividly remembers the hurt reflected in Beomgyu’s eyes…the sadness…the false hope. He’d look like a kicked puppy desperately whining for their owner…but Soobin had still left him in the end.

“Why? I know what he said wasn’t the nicest, but maybe he was scared too?” Taehyun offers, looking confused.

“I know. I know that he was scared…I know things about him…why he acts the way he does…but I still lashed out even when he begged me to stay.” Soobin confesses, feeling sick with guilt at the thought. Why? Why had he been so cruel?

He’s a coward, that’s why.

Beomgyu has probably been hurt his entire life by people who were meant to love him…and now…now Soobin had inflicted his own wounds into Beomgyu as well.

“That’s dumb.” Taehyun huffs after a moment, leaning his head on Soobin’s shoulder. “You’re nearly as bad as me with Yeonjun.”

“I guess that’s why we’re best friends.”

A brief silence follows, the fridge buzzing quietly as they both think.

Soobin stares off into the distance, a numb feeling encompassing his chest as he sits there.

“Why does the world hate us, Taehyun?” He asks a second later with a watery laugh. “Why are we so unlucky with this whole love thing?”

“I guess we’re just destined to be miserable and alone forever.” Taehyun supplies.

“Maybe we should just date each other.” Soobin laughs as the alcohol buzzes lightly inside of him.

“Yeah…we can be platonic lovers.” Taehyun agrees, shifting so he can wrap his arms around Soobin.

Soobin smiles, kissing the bridge of his nose. “That sounds nice.”

“It does.”

Taehyun giggles as Soobin pulls Taehyun in closer for cuddles. It’s entirely platonic, but calming nonetheless. It’s something they’ve done since they were young, both learning how nicely affection affected them.

During the time after Soobin’s mom passed, Taehyun would always make sure to hold Soobin close, grounding the broken boy with his touch. In those days, Taehyun’s touch was all that really kept Soobin sane, it’s what allowed him to be okay.

Even now, it still brings them both comfort. Even when they aren’t upset, they still always find a place against each other like puzzle pieces. Maybe in another life they would be soulmates.

“You’re clingy as always.” Soobin whispers as Taehyun clutches onto him and buries his face in the crook of Soobin’s neck.

Taehyun hums, his fingers tightening in the fabric of Soobin’s shirt. “Maybe I’m just lonely these days…”

Soobin sighs, planting a gentle kiss to the top of Taehyun’s head. “Yeah.” He whispers against his hair. “Me too…”

—

It’s been a few days since Soobin and Beomgyu’s fall out, or whatever it was. Nonetheless, Kai sees that Beomgyu still hasn’t given up on Soobin.

A few minutes ago, Yeonjun had told Kai that Beomgyu wanted to go to one of Soobin’s competitions but didn’t know where and when it was…so Taehyun had cut a deal with him, which was for Yeonjun to meet with him in the locker rooms. Kai easily understood, knowing Yeonjun would do anything to make Beomgyu happy…even facing Taehyun again.

Kai is curious of what Taehyun will say to Yeonjun, he wonders if the two will finally sort things out. Really, everything would be better if they did, though, Kai wonders if he’ll still be a part of that equation if they do.

However, as Yeonjun walks out of the locker room, Kai can immediately tell that he’s upset. He looks beyond troubled by something, his face set in a frown as he walks off in search of Kai.

Kai doesn’t make himself known though, rather, he makes his way into the locker room where Taehyun still is.

Judging by Yeonjun’s expression, he knows he and Taehyun didn’t fix things. Kai decides it’s time he takes matters into his own hands.

“Taehyun?” Kai asks as he creeps inside the locker room. He spots Taehyun sitting on a bench in the corner, his knees curled up to his chest...it looks like he’s crying, Kai’s heart tugs.

Taehyun glances over to him, quickly rubbing away the obvious tears in his eyes as Kai comes closer.

“What do you want?” Taehyun questions flatly. There’s no real bite in his voice though, if anything, he sounds entirely defeated. It’s clear he can’t bring himself to get mad at Kai no matter what.

Kai sinks down beside Taehyun on the floor, a stifling silence falling between them as they sit there.

“I don’t like you being upset like this because of me.” Kai says after a moment, turning to look at Taehyun. “Yeonjun told me about what happened between you guys…”

Taehyun sighs, meeting his eyes, any fire in them long gone. “I’ll be fine. I’m just being childish anyways, you both deserve to be happy with each other so just forget about my sorry ass.”

Kai shakes his head, this isn’t why he came in here. “Taehyun…I know you like him.”

“Yeah. He knows that too now.” Taehyun scoffs.

So Taehyun must’ve confessed…that must be why Yeonjun looked so upset. Kai knows damn well that Yeonjun is in love with Taehyun and is nowhere near forgetting him anytime soon.

Another silence follows, neither seemingly knowing what to say after that. Kai never really did plan what he was going to say to Taehyun, he just wanted to check on the other boy, feeling guilty about everything. Well, in truth, he wants to make things better…but he has no idea how.

“Kai? You’re feeling guilty, aren’t you?” Taehyun huffs, reading his mind. “God—please don’t feel guilty because of me. Just…go be with him.”

Kai wonders how Taehyun can say that so freely, how he seems to have completely given up on Yeonjun.

“Shouldn’t you be mad at me?” Kai questions, the thought lingering in his mind. Every day he wonders if Taehyun hates him. They had started as friends, sure, but once he got closer with Yeonjun…he wondered if Taehyun ended up hating him.

“It’s hard to be when you’re so cute and sweet—I can’t even bring myself to hate you. Honestly, you deserve Yeonjun more than I ever did. I treated him like shit and I guess it’s only right for me to suffer for it.” Taehyun decides.

Kai doesn’t like the idea of Taehyun suffering on the sidelines though he wants everyone to be happy.

“So what? You made a few mistakes. You shouldn’t suffer like this because of it.”

“Why not?” Taehyun fires back. “What are you even getting at here…?”

Truth be told, not even Kai knows where he’s going with this. He’s not just going to leave Yeonjun for Taehyun, he would be sad too then. Really, he has no idea what he wants anymore. “I don’t know…I just hate seeing you sad like this…”

“Maybe we should just run away together instead then.” Taehyun jokes. “Everything seems less complicated with you.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

“Yeah? Let’s do it. Forget Yeonjun—it’s you and me now.” Taehyun giggles, leaning against Kai playfully.

“Alright.” Kai continues, shifting to pin Taehyun to the lockers teasingly. “You’re game, baby.”

“What the fuck?” That’s a new voice that causes them both to jump.

Yeonjun stares at them, his eyes wide as he blinks at their position.

“Um—Kai…? What are you doing.” He chokes out looking completely dumbfounded.

Kai falls back from Taehyun, his cheeks burning. “It’s not what it looks like!”

“Yeah—we were just playing!” Taehyun adds, looking guilty.

“My current lover had my ex lover pinned to the lockers—“

“—playing.”

“Right…but—uh…you guys do look kind of cute together.” Yeonjun mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck, his own cheeks flush.

“W—what?” Taehyun splutters.

“Alright! He supports our plan of running away together!” Kai cheers, nudging Taehyun’s side.

Taehyun smirks, quickly regaining his confidence. “Wanna see us kiss too, Yeonjun?”

“And what if I do?” Yeonjun challenges, licking his lips.

Both Taehyun and Kai fall silent, not having expected that answer.

“W—what?” Kai blinks, taken aback by the sudden suggestion.

“Do it.” Yeonjun urges. “I wanna see.”

Kai’s stomach flips, excitement bubbling up inside him at that idea. Really, he has no idea what’s happening, or what’s going to happen…but this seems like good progress right…?

Taehyun glances at Kai, “well? Do you want to?” He asks, trying to read his expression to see if this is okay.

Kai nods, shuffling closer to Taehyun as a silent assurance.

There’s no way this is really happening.

Yeonjun watches with curious eyes, his gaze never once leaving them.

Taehyun reaches to gently cup Kai’s cheek, his other hand falling to his waist. He’s hesitant and careful, making sure he doesn’t cross into anything unwanted. Somehow the hesitance only makes Kai want this more.

Kai hasn’t even kissed Yeonjun yet…but for whatever reason, he’s excited to indulge in this little show with Taehyun for Yeonjun.

His hands press to Taehyun’s chest, his fingers knotting in the fabric as he sits in anticipation.

Taehyun grins, leaning forward, his eyes beaming. “Ready?” He asks, his lips ghosting over Kai’s.

“Yes.” Kai breathes. “Let’s give our Yeonjun a good show.”

Taehyun hums. “Already planned on it.” With that, Taehyun closes the gap between them.

Their lips press together readily, Taehyun’s heart beating fast beneath Kai’s hands as they slowly get lost in each other.

Off to the side, Yeonjun keeps watching, a smile playing on his lips as their mouths slide together in heady desperation before him.

Kai whines needily, nudging Taehyun to deepen the kiss. Taehyun obeys, curving his body against Kai’s as the younger boy pushes him into the lockers, their lips never leaving each other.

Needless to say, both boys are definitely enjoying kissing each other more than they initially thought they would.

Taehyun pants into Kai’s mouth, his head falling back as he gasps for air. Kai takes that opportunity to drag his lips down the figure skater's throat, teasing his mouth against the sensitive skin. Taehyun let’s out a low whimper at that, his fingers gripping around Kai’s waist.

“Alright! That’s enough—jesus christ.” Yeonjun yelps, his face a delicate shade of scarlet as he gapes at them.

Taehyun shoots him a glare, shaking himself from his prior daze, Kai’s lips long gone from his neck. “Really? Now you stop us?”

Kai shifts away from Taehyun, wiping his mouth as Yeonjun blinks at them in shock.

“I didn’t think it would turn into a full on makeout session!” Yeonjun cries.

“You gave us the go ahead. What did you expect, just a little peck?” Kai laughs, his cheeks flushed.

“I don’t know!” Yeonjun pauses, his eyes narrowing. “When do I get a kiss like that then, Kai?” Yeonjun says, tapping his own lips.

“Actually—he’s mine now.” Taehyun cuts in, wrapping his arms around Kai playfully.

“Oh yeah? Well, if he’s yours now—can I have both of you then?” Yeonjun says.

“Yes!” Kai yells, this, this is the way they can all be happy. “We can all have each other!”

“I like that idea.” Taehyun hums.

Yeonjun smirks, making his way over to the two of them with devious eyes. “Do I get a kiss from the both of you then?”

“Of course.”

—

“I told Beomgyu where and when your competition is tomorrow.” Taehyun says nonchalantly as he flops down next to Soobin in the stands a few hours later. He’ll tell Soobin about what happened with Yeonjun and Kai later, Soobin already has enough to process as is.

“You what?!” Soobin yelps, his eyes wide. The past few days he’d been trying his best to avoid said hockey player, making it so they barely even saw each other's faces at the rink.

“He wanted to know.”

“So you just told him? And why the hell would he even care?”

Taehyun shrugs. “He just does.”

“Don’t you like, not like him?”

“Look. As much as I don’t really like Beomgyu, I can tell that he’s somewhat trying for you.” He says finally.

Soobin stares, unable to even fathom how Taehyun could say something like that so easily about Beomgyu. Last time Soobin checked, Taehyun wasn’t the least bit fond of Beomgyu…or any of the hockey players for that matter.

“What makes you think that?” Soobin says, interested in Taehyun’s sudden change of heart.

“It takes time for people to change.” Taehyun says, thinking back to his own experience with Yeonjun. “Even if they’re really trying, it won’t just happen instantly, it’s not that easy. Maybe you should give Beomgyu the benefit of the doubt here…and besides, you also said some hurtful shit too so you’re really no better.”

“Since when did you become so annoyingly wise?” Soobin mutters, seemingly understanding Taehyun’s words.

“I’ve just been thinking a lot lately.”

“So he’ll really show up tomorrow? He actually remembered that I asked him to come…” Soobin trails off, falling silent as he thinks. “If Beomgyu really does show up…then I’ll know that he actually cares…that he’s actually trying…” Soobin decides after a moment.

“Will you apologize to him?” Taehyun asks, raising an eyebrow.

Soobin nods hesitantly. “Yes…”

.

.

.

The next day…Beomgyu never shows up for Soobin’s competition…

Desperately, Soobin looks for the hockey player in the stands. Except every time he looks, he only sees strangers staring back at him. No matter where his eyes fall, there’s no sign of Beomgyu anywhere.

Maybe he’s just late, Soobin thinks, praying that he’ll come like Taehyun had said.

Though, as more time passes by, he still doesn’t see Beomgyu.

His heart sinks, his fleeting hope slowly fading. He feels dumb, hating how high his hopes had been, hating how badly he had wanted to see Beomgyu again.

It all breaks at that moment, the glass inside his heart shattering.

Soobin doesn’t skate well that night…his body too empty to obey his command…everything inside him far too broken to make anything beautiful on the ice.

…

Taehyun greets him afterwards, his eyes knowing as he walks up to Soobin.

“I’m sorry…I really thought he would come…he was so adamant about it yesterday…” Taehyun apologizes, looking beyond guilty as he looks at Soobin’s fallen expression.

“It’s fine.” Soobin mutters.

“Maybe something happened?” Taehyun tries.

Soobin shakes his head, collecting his things silently. Taehyun sighs, hating the way Soobin looks so…broken.

“It’s my fault anyways.” Soobin says, suddenly speaking up. “I drove him away. I shouldn’t have hoped he’d come running back when he already tried once and I didn’t let him.”

Sure, that makes sense, but Soobin doesn’t know what Taehyun knows. He doesn’t know about Beomgyu’s accidental confession yesterday or how desperate Beomgyu was to come to this. Hell, he even made that deal…there’s no way he just wouldn’t show up.

“No…you don’t understand.” Taehyun starts, trying to piece everything together. “Something has to have happened to him.”

As if on command, Taehyun’s phone starts to ring, Yeonjun’s contact lighting up on the screen.

“Why’s Yeonjun calling you?” Soobin questions, peeking over at Tehyun’s phone. Right, he doesn’t know about what happened yesterday yet.

Taehyun shrugs, “I don’t know…?” He mumbles as he answers the phone.

“Taehyun?! Are you with Soobin? Is Beomgyu with you guys?!” Yeonjun cries almost immediately, loud enough that even Soobin hears.

“Um…no?” Taehyun replies, putting the call on speaker so Soobin can hear.

“Fuck…he didn’t go to Soobin’s competition?” Yeonjun asks, his breathing frantic.

“He never showed up.” Taehyun says. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Oh…um…w—when I woke up he wasn’t at my place anymore and he wouldn't answer any of my texts or calls. I thought maybe he found a different way to Soobin’s competition since he really wanted to go but I guess not…” Yeonjun rambles, clearly on the verge of tears. “M—maybe I’m just being paranoid…sorry…”

Taehyun hears Kai calming Yeonjun in the background, the hockey player audibly panicking.

Taehyun glances over to Soobin and notices that his face is beyond pale, a worried expression crossing over his features.

Faintly, Taehyun wonders why they’re all so worried, but then he remembers Soobin mentioning knowing more about Beomgyu than others. He realizes that there must be something really bad happening in Beomgyu’s life for them to all react like this.

“Can we come help you guys look for him?” Soobin says suddenly, startling Taehyun.

“Uh—sure…I’ll text Taehyun my address.” Yeonjun replies shakily.

“Okay…see you soon.” Taehyun whispers before the call ends.

“Let’s go.” Soobin says, already making his way out of the arena.

“Whoa—slow down!” Taehyun yelps, trying to keep up with Soobin.

“I need to hurry…Beomgyu…he…he could be in trouble…” Soobin whispers.

“Can I know why you think that?” Taehyun asks, still curious of what could have made them all so panicked.

“Um—it’s not really my place to tell you the details but let’s just say that Beomgyu’s parents aren’t so good to him…”

Taehyun nods, falling silent as he understands what that might mean. He hurries along with Soobin, now realizing the urgency of the situation. He hopes that Beomgyu is okay…

—

Beomgyu is not okay.

Chapter Text

Beomgyu wakes up to darkness, his mind fuzzy as he blinks awake into a room of quiet nothingness.

The taste of blood lingers on his tongue, faint memories of what hours before a mess in his mind.

He clenches his teeth, pain flooding through his body as he becomes more aware of everything.
He fights back the urge to sob out, the agony almost overwhelming as it all hits him.

Beomgyu tugs on the ends of his hair, a whimper escaping his lips as he starts to cry in his confusion. He feels sick from the pain, barely having proper memories of what happened, everything still terribly hazy.

He lets out a weak laugh, desperately trying to recall the details from before but failing. Really, he’s in far too much pain to do much thinking, everything stupidly numb.

After a moment, Beomgyu gives up on that, instead moving to feel around in the darkness. He grits his teeth as more pain flares up as he reaches around, even the smallest amount of movement horribly agonizing for him.

As he feels his surroundings, he figures he’s in a small closet, the space small and confined. Vaguely, he remembers being locked away in here many times as a child…a memory so distant he didn’t even know it was there. Maybe he forgot that part of his childhood for a reason…

Beomgyu continues searching around, his hands eventually finding their way to his backpack which is surprisingly also in here. He reaches inside, smiling when he feels the bunny plushie for Soobin is still there…at least that’s still safe he thinks.

Then he realizes…Soobin’s competition is supposed to be today…

He shakes his head, maybe there’s still time for him to make it. He can’t lose Soobin now…not yet.

Beomgyu presses himself to the door, his trembling hands trying to turn the door knob. Though, as he expected, it doesn’t open…he’s locked in.

“No…no…” Beomgyu whimpers, shaking the door knob as he wills it to open. “Let me out…please…let me out!” He begs to no one, his voice breaking as sobs climb in his throat.

He falls back, tugging on the ends of his hair more as he cries harder. His breathing grows increasingly erratic, more pain aching through his broken body as he slams his fists against the door.

“PLEASE!” He screams, pitiful whines echoing in the room as he lets himself sink to the floor. His shoulders shake, each sob making the bruises and cuts inflicted by his father only hurt more.

Yes…he remembers now…his father did this…and his mother helped lock him in here…

It’s all still a bit of a blur, but he knows his father beat him until his vision went black. He knows he screamed until he couldn’t anymore, until they threw him in this dark room. He knows he was terrified. And now…now he’s locked in a dark closet like when he was a child all over again.

As a last attempt, he sticks his hand back into his backpack, feeling around for his phone that he prays is there. He does find his phone, however, when he tries to turn it on, it only comes back black. Of course…of course it has to be dead now of all times.

Beomgyu slumps against the wall, casting aside his backpack in defeat. More tears roll down his cheeks, pitiful sobs and screams echoing through the dark room.

He’s trapped...he’s alone…

—

Once Soobin and Taehyun meet at Yeonjun’s, the four of them immediately drive to Beomgyu’s parents house. Yeonjun wastes no time in driving the speed limit, believing that Beomgyu will surely be there since it’s the only place he hasn’t yet checked.

They have no plan except for the fact that Yeonjun’s decided to really fuck up Beomgyu’s father while the others find Beomgyu and Jungwon.

They rush up to the door once they get there, hurriedly knocking. Seconds later, Beomgyu’s oblivious father opens the door to the four boys who are ready to jump him.

Yeonjun lunges instantly without any hesitation, shoving the man backwards into the wall before punching him. Really, even if they don’t have Beomgyu, his father deserves the hell that Yeonjun’s about to give him.

Meanwhile, Kai runs upstairs in search of Jungwon, quickly evading the fight between Yeonjun and Beomgyu’s father while Soobin and Taehyun go search for Beomgyu.

…

Kai searches around upstairs, opting out on the commotion downstairs in favor of finding Beomgyu’s brother who he hopes is somewhere up here.

He wanders around for a moment, finding himself in what looks to be Beomgyu’s parents' bedroom.

He spots some expensive watches and money laying around on a table, an idea quickly forming in his mind.

Now, Kai’s never one to steal…but these people are really fucked up and Beomgyu needs money for his hockey right? Surely they won’t notice a few things missing…

…

“Where the hell is Beomgyu!” Soobin growls when he comes across Beomgyu’s mother in another room.

She cowers back, Soobin towering over her with angry eyes. Of course, he would never hit a woman (he might make an exception for this one), but he sure as hell will threaten her if he has to.

Off to the side, Taehyun makes sure to video everything just in case they need blackmail material for later.

Shakily she points over to a nearby closet, throwing a key at Soobin before running off to hide somewhere like the cowardly idiot that she is.

Soobin shakes his head, he and Taehyun making their way over to the closet, Taehyun still videoing for proof.

Hesitantly, Soobin unlocks the closet and pushes it open, unsure of what he’ll find. “Beomgyu…?” He calls out into the dark room.

Sure enough, a teary eyed Beomgyu blinks up at him. He flinches back, letting out a terrified cry as before he realizes who it is.

Soobin and Taehyun both gasp at the sight, their eyes trailing over the dozens of bruises on Beomgyu’s face.

“S—Soobin…?” Beomgyu whimpers out, crawling forward.

“Yeah…it’s me, baby…” Soobin whispers, kneeling down in front of Beomgyu. “Can I touch you?

“Mhmm…”

Soobin carefully pulls the trembling boy into his arms, gently combing through his hair as he holds him. Beomgyu wraps his arms around him, a sob falling from his lips as he buries his face into the crook of Soobin’s neck.

Soobin runs his hands over Beomgyu gently, placing a gentle kisses to the crown of his head as he holds him even closer.

“I—I’m sorry I didn’t come to your competition…I’m sorry.” Beomgyu cries, shaking. “I wanted to…I e—even got you something…”

“Shh…that doesn’t matter right now, okay?” Soobin whispers, his heart tugging. Desperately he wants to take Beomgyu’s pain away…desperately he just wants Beomgyu to feel…loved.

Slowly, he and Taehyun guide Beomgyu out, evading Yeonjun and his father as they make their way outside.

Kai comes out a few minutes later followed by a shorter boy who must be Beomgyu’s brother. He looks shaken up, clinging close to Kai despite not knowing him.

However, when he sees Beomgyu, he runs over and tightly hugs onto his brother. “Beomgyu! T—they wouldn’t let me out of my room…I’m sorry…I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything…”

Beomgyu smiles, his eyes still a little empty as he pulls Jungwon into his arms. It’s obvious his mind is not entirely here right now, probably deluded with too much pain and panic to process anything.

After a moment, Taehyun runs back inside to get Yeonjun while Kai urges Jungwon into the car.

Soobin stands idle with Beomgyu, gently keeping his arm around his waist as Beomgyu leans against him.

“Oh god—Beomie…no…my baby…no…” Yeonjun sobs when he sees Beomgyu’s broken state.

Yeonjun stumbles towards him, bringing him into a hug as tears roll down his cheeks. “I’m sorry…” Beomgyu whispers, more tears falling from his eyes.

“Let’s just get you home…” Yeonjun whispers, hugging onto Beomgyu a little tighter before having to let go to start his car.

Beomgyu falls against Soobin again, his hands grabbing onto Soobin’s shirt even as they get into the car.

Never once does he let go.

…

“Yeonjun…can I…can I take him home with me…?” Soobin asks timidly while they drive, Beomgyu fast asleep against him.

He knows Yeonjun will probably want to be the one to take care of Beomgyu, and that makes sense, they’re best friends after all…but Soobin doesn’t want to let Beomgyu go…not yet.

Yeonjun purses his lips, “how about we all just stay at my place tonight?” He suggests, glancing at the other boys.

“That’ll work…” Soobin says, pleased that he doesn’t have to leave Beomgyu yet. “Thank you…”

“I’m sure he’ll be happier with you next to him anyways…” Yeonjun smiles.

—

Beomgyu is woken up by Soobin once they’re inside Beomgyu’s bedroom. He’s gently nudging Beomgyu awake, probably wanting to treat his injuries now.

Slowly, Beomgyu sits up, wincing when pain sparks through his body. Soobin flinches at that, looking panicked as Beomgyu sighs before him.

Beomgyu shakes his head, giving him a watery smile. “Sorry—it just hurts a little, doll.” He murmurs, feeling a little less delirious with pain and panic now and able to at least think properly.

Soobin nods, “can I treat your injuries…or do you want Yeonjun…?

“You can do it…”

“If you’re not comfortable—“

“—no…I want you…please…” Beomgyu begs, his eyes glassy as he looks up at Soobin.

“Okay good…” Soobin smiles. “I wanted to take care of you…this might hurt a little bit though.” Soobin apologizes as he kneels in front of Beomgyu who shifts to sit on the edge of the bed.

“You could never hurt me…not after that...”

Soobin nods before getting up again to grab some supplies, Beomgyu strips his shirt off, exposing more injuries. He waits nervously for Soobins return, glancing down at his broken and cut skin that’s horribly discolored now. He looks so beyond broken…far from pretty for Soobin.

A few seconds later, Soobin re-enters the room, audibly gasping when he sees the rest of Beomgyu’s injuries now exposed.

Beomgyu drops his gaze, sick with vulnerability as Soobin’s eyes wander his injured body.

Soobin kneels back down in front of Beomgyu, his hands trailing over Beomgyu’s skin lightly as he takes in everything. Beomgyu sucks in a breath, shivering as Soobin’s fingers brush against his bruises.

“Oh, baby…” Soobin whispers sadly.

“I’m a mess, aren’t I?” Beomgyu laughs dryly.

“Mmm…still pretty though.” Soobin mutters as he reaches for stuff to clean the bloody wounds with.

Carefully, he starts to clean Beomgyu’s wounds, the younger boy trying to stifle his whimpers each time the alcohol stings.

“I’m sorry…” Soobin apologizes, feeling guilty each time Beomgyu flinches. He reaches over to gently rub circles on Beomgyu’s thigh, hoping that might distract him a bit.

Beomgyu lets out a shaky exhale, watching as Soobin starts to apply ointment to the angry cuts that scorn over his body. In all honesty, he has no idea how this even happened, that memory is still too blurry. Perhaps he just doesn’t want to remember.

He shakes the thought away, focusing his attention back to Soobin instead. He likes how gentle Soobin is with him, his touch feather light as he tries his best not to hurt Beomgyu any more. He makes Beomgyu feel safe…after being hurt so badly, it’s nice to be treated like glass.

“You’re doing so good, baby.” Soobin whispers as he moves to wrap Beomgyu’s wounds.

Beomgyu’s chest tightens, his heart beating a little faster as Soobin praises him with that pet name again.

“I like it when you call me that…” He mutters absentmindedly, clenching his teeth when a sudden burst of pain crosses over his ribs.

“Baby? You like that?” Soobin says, clearly noticing Beomgyu’s pain. “I’ll call you baby as much as you want.” He continues, trying to distract Beomgyu.

“Good.” Beomgyu smiles, biting back another pitiful whimper.

“Lay down.” Soobin directs once he finishes. “I’ll go get you some pain killers, baby.”

Beomgyu nods, feeling giddy each time Soobin calls him that. If anything, it really helps ease the pain in his broken mind.

Soobin slips out of the room again and Beomgyu tries to lay down without causing himself too much pain. He fails of course, agony spiking in through him as he settles himself on the bed.

Soobin comes back shortly after, frowning when he sees Beomgyu teary eyed in pain.

The bed dips down and Soobin carefully lays next to him after turning off the lights. He hands him the pills, Beomgyu quickly taking them before laying back down.

He wants to cuddle up to Soobin, wants to be in the other boy's arms…but he can’t really move much right now without screaming out in pain. He can only lay stiffly with the side of Soobin’s body brushing against him.

“Want me to hold your hand?” Soobin suggests knowing too well about Beomgyu’s inner turmoil of wanting to be touched.

“Please…” Beomgyu sighs. For now, that’ll be enough.

Soobin shifts a little, getting comfortable before he slips his hand into Beomgyu’s. Their fingers interlock, Soobin’s thumb rubbing over the back of his hand as they lay in silence trying to fall asleep.

“Beomgyu…?” Soobin questions into the dark room after a few minutes pass by. “You awake?”

“Hmm.” Beomgyu hums, unable to fall asleep as his mind still races and his body aches.

“You do mean something to me…you are special to me…” Soobin whispers after a moment.

Beomgyu blinks, taken back by the sudden confession. “W—what…?”

“A few days ago, I said you didn’t mean anything to me…that wasn’t true…”

Beomgyu flushes, smiling softly. “Well, I said you didn’t mean anything to me first…that was a lie too.”

Soobin reaches to brush through Beomgyu’s hair, Beomgyu easily sighing into the touch. “I know…I shouldn’t have reacted so harshly though…I’m just scared too is all, people haven’t really been the nicest to me for most of my life…” Soobin explains as his fingers continue to comb through Beomgyu’s hair.

“I guess we’re both scared then…I’m still sorry though…”

“Me too…”

Seconds later, Soobin moves so he’s hovering over Beomgyu, being careful not to move him in any way that would cause his injuries to hurt more.

He then dips down to press his lips against Beomgyu’s bruised cheek. His lips are nearly weightless against Beomgyu’s cheek, but still cause the hockey player to melt nonetheless.

“Hey—you can’t do this when I can’t move.” Beomgyu complains, wishing he could at least hold onto Soobin properly.

“You don’t need to.” Soobin scoffs. “And I won’t do anything that will be too much for you.”

“Everything you do is too much.” Beomgyu sighs as Soobin peppers kisses all over his face (aside for his lips). Beomgyu bites back a big smile as Soobin gives him much needed affection.

Soobin’s hands continue to card through Beomgyu's hair as he places more butterfly kisses along his neck, each one brief and soft.

“Feeling better, baby?” Soobin hums against his skin, Beomgyu’s cheeks burning.

Beomgyu squirms at that, the pet name and Soobin’s breath all too much not to react. It does make him groan in pain seconds later though, his bruises firing up at the movement.

Soobin falls back at that. “I said no moving.” He huffs, laying back down next to Beomgyu. “No more for you.”

Beomgyu frowns, a pout on his lips. “But…”

“No buts—let’s just hold hands and go to sleep.” Soobin mutters.

Beomgyu nods, but still nuzzles closer to Soobin despite the pain. Really, he’ll gladly hurt a little bit more if it means he gets to hug Soobin as he sleeps.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself.” Soobin groans, but gently pulls Beomgyu into his arms nonetheless. It seems they’ve both given up on the whole not moving thing in the end.

In any case, Beomgyu is much more comfortable wrapped up in Soobin’s arms with his head on his chest like this.

More than anything…he missed this…he missed Soobin.

“Will you stay…?” Beomgyu mumbles a few seconds later, his fingers tracing over Soobin’s stomach.

“Mhmm.” Soobin breathes, rubbing Beomgyu’s back as they lay together. “As long as you want.”

“Okay…” Beomgyu smiles, his eyes fluttering shut as Soobin’s heartbeat against his ear slowly lulls him to sleep.

Maybe things will be okay after all…

—

The following morning, Beomgyu feels a little better as he stands in the kitchen with Soobin. Of course, that’s probably from all the pills and what not, but either way, the pain is not as bad as it was.

Hesitantly, he shuffles up behind Soobin before hugging him. He rests his face between Soobin’s shoulder blades, nuzzling against him, still somewhat sleepy.

Soobin jumps at the sudden contact, not having expected that. “Sorry.” Beomgyu mutters, his arms tightening around Soobin.

“It’s okay.” Soobin says fondly. “I like having you close.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…” Beomgyu smiles, nudging his face against Soobin affectionly. Soobin places his hands over Beomgyu’s, gently playing with his fingers as they stand there doing nothing.

It’s pleasant, just the two of them—well, that is until Yeonjun, Taehyun and Kai come into the kitchen, Beomgyu quickly letting go of Soobin.

“Beomie? How are you feeling?” Yeonjun asks, coming up to pull him into a gentle hug.

“A little bit better.” Beomgyu says, feeling warm in Yeonjun’s embrace.

“Please don’t leave here again…” Yeonjun murmurs, clinging onto his best friend…they’ll definitely cry about this together later.

Beomgyu nods, feeling guilty as he hears the pain in Yeonjun’s voice. “I won’t…I’m sorry.”

A silence follows as everyone settles down, Yeonjun letting go of Beomgyu to cook some food for all of them.

Mindlessly, Beomgyu tugs on parts of Soobin’s shirt while he eats, his hands finding their way to the figure skater no matter what. Perhaps he doesn’t want to lose him again, perhaps his love language is touch…perhaps both.

Though, as they all eat in somewhat awkward silence, Beomgyu and Soobin can’t help but stare in confusion at their friends. The other three seem to be on good terms and maybe a little bit more.

“So what’s this then?” Beomgyu pipes up after he eats, a smirk on his face as he glances between the three boys.

“Uh—you know…“ Yeonjun coughs, turning away.

“Just—“ Taehyun tries, trailing off as his face goes red.

Soobin raises an eyebrow, looking beyond confused.

“We’re dating—kind of?” Kai finally says. “All of us.”

“Kind of?” Beomgyu stares.

“All of you?” Soobin questions. “Since when?”

“Since the other day when Yeonjun made me kiss Taehyun for him.” Kai smirks, a playful expression on his face.

Beomgyu coughs, nearly choking on his drink. “What?!”

“Kai!” Yeonjun yelps. “And I did not make you—“

“Right…” Soobin says, turning to give Beomgyu a ‘what the hell’ look.

A few minutes later, Jungwon comes wandering in, rubbing his eyes with sleep and diverting the awkwardness.

He plops down beside Beomgyu, Yeonjun pushing food towards him.

“Are they dating…?” Jungwon asks out of no where as he starts to eat, looking between Beomgyu and Soobin.

“No!” Beomgyu and Soobin shriek in unison.

Jugwon giggles, his eyes wavering to Beomgyu’s hands that clutch onto Soobin. “Then why—“

“—we’re friends.” Soobin cuts in.

“Wait—we’re friends?!” Beomgyu shrieks. “We’re not enemies anymore…?”

Soobin pauses, looking startled. “Well…if you want to be…?”

“Oh sure…we can be like…frenemies .” Beomgyu decides, pressing closer to Soobin.

Everyone else stares but no one says anything else, each deciding to just judge in silence.

What a weird morning.

“I’m gonna go shower.” Beomgyu says suddenly, moving to abruptly stand up before running off.

Soobin wonders if he’s okay, though, before he can ponder that, Jungwon moves to sit right beside him.

“So, you like my brother, right?” Jungwon smirks, staring up at Soobin. “And he likes you?”

“Huh?!” Soobin gapes, glancing around for the other three for help, but it seems they’re already gone too. “No—I told you we’re just friends.”

Jungwon rolls his eyes. “Yeah right. He never acts like that with anyone.”

“Okay and…? Why would you assume I like him then?” Soobin decides that this kid is just as annoying as his god damn brother.

“Come on, it's kind of obvious.” The younger boy presses, his eyes round.

“It’s really not.”

“It is.”

Soobin scoffs, turning away. “Well—what’s it to you?”

“I don’t know—I’m just curious who could possibly manage to get his attention—or who would like someone as annoying as him.”

Soobin narrows his eyes, trying to decide what this kid is even trying to get at. “Okay?”

Jungwon chuckles. “Yeah, you seem like you’ll be good for him.”

What a strange kid…it must run in the family.

…

Beomgyu stumbles out of the shower an hour later. He feels beyond terrible, his lingering panic from yesterday bubbling back into his mind as well as other dark thoughts.

After he gets dressed, he flops down onto his bed, curling in on himself as he lays there. He really doesn’t feel so good right now, everything finally registering in his mind.

Beomgyu trembles, his body flashing hot and cold as his mind melts into nothing but panic.

Last night's memories flood into his mind, everything finally coming back as much as he had wanted to not remember. Images of his father hurting him are all he can see, the horrible memories not letting up no matter how hard he tries.

He squeezes his eyes shut, pleading for everything to stop.

“Beomgyu? You in there.” He hears Soobin call minutes later, his voice bringing Beomgyu back to reality somewhat.

Beomgyu lets out a sob, Soobin opening the door the moment he starts to cry.

“Beomgyu!” Soobin yelps, falling onto the bed next to Beomgyu. “Hey—what’s wrong, baby?”

“I—I’m scared.” Beomgyu whimpers, crawling into Soobin’s lap instantly, desperately needing some sort of comfort. “I—I can’t stop thinking about yesterday.”

“Oh…baby.” Soobin sighs, rubbing his hands over Beomgyu’s thighs comfortingly as he tries to think of what to say.

Beomgyu whimpers, shaking his head. “C—can you just hug me for a bit…”

“Of course.” Soobin whispers, keeping Beomgyu tight against him. Whatever Beomgyu wants he’ll gladly give.

Beomgyu nods, letting himself fall apart as Soobin holds onto him.

Soobin’s presence is enough to somewhat tame his dark thoughts as he cries. Nonetheless, it’s better to be with someone like this rather than alone. As embarrassing as it is to always cry in front of Soobin like this…Beomgyu trusts him now.

…

After about an hour, Beomgyu finally manages to calm down. Luckily, no one else disturbed them, perhaps even hearing Beomgyu’s cries and letting them be alone.

“I got something for you.” Beomgyu says, crawling off Soobin and bouncing over to his backpack. Funny how fast his mood changes. “I was gonna give it to you at your competition but…”

“What is it?” Soobin asks, interested in Beomgyu’s gift for him as well as his mood change.

Beomgyu pulls a little pink bunny plushie from his backpack. Hesitantly, he hands it to Soobin, his cheeks flushed as he glances to the wall in nervous embarrassment.

“I—it’s not much…it just reminded me of you is all.” Beomgyu mutters shyly, refusing to make eye contact with Soobin.

Soobin takes the bunny carefully, grinning widely as his heart burns with affection.

He never expected Beomgyu to be so openly sweet like this, especially after what Soobin had said to him days ago.

“Thank you…” Soobin whispers, trying to hold back tears, feeling stupidly happy over this little gesture. He doesn’t deserve this.

Beomgyu finally turns to him, his eyes widening as he sees Soobin’s expression. “Oh god—do you hate it?!”

Soobin shakes his head, biting his lip from smiling more. “I love it…you’re so cute.”

Beomgyu blushes, “I am not cute.” He huffs, lightly shoving Soobin.

“You are.”

Beomgyu rolls his eyes. “Alright, bun.”

“Bun?” Soobin giggles, looking at Beomgyu fondly.

“Yeah—I told you, you look like that bunny.” Beomgyu huffs. “Can I call you that? You have that thing for pet names right?”

“Shut up.” Soobin groans, still smiling. “But yes…you can call me that.”

“Can I have a kiss too then?” Beomgyu asks, staring up at Soobin with pleading eyes.

“W—what?! No.” Soobin stutters at the sudden blunt request. Since when did Beomgyu get so bold in asking for what he wanted…since when did he want to kiss Soobin so openly?

“What do you mean no…?” Beomgyu blinks, his expression falling.

“I’m not that easy—you still embarrassed me in front of your teammates you know.” Soobin scoffs. However, his eyes are still soft as he looks at Beomgyu.

“I apologized!”

“Mmm yeah, but teasing you is fun. Also, you’re really fucking hurt right now so it wouldn’t be a very good kiss since I can’t touch you properly.” He explains. “And you did kind of just have a breakdown so now's probably not the best time, baby.”

Beomgyu pouts. “Fair…but what if it was a tiny little kiss?”

Soobin shakes his head, ruffling Beomgyu’s hair. “Try again later, Beomgyu.”

Beomgyu’s eyes go round at that. “I like the way you say my name—say it again.” Beomgyu urges, thumbing at the edge of Soobin’s shirt.

“Beomgyu…? What the hell why?” Soobin laughs, looking a little confused.

“You say it in this way that’s like really nice, also you’re usually calling me dumbass or idiot so—“

“—Beomgyu baby?” Soobin teases, pleased with Beomgyu’s pink cheeks.

“Wait—I wasn’t prepared for that!”

“How about this…” Soobin purrs, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to Beomgyu’s neck.

“Y—you can’t do that—I’m injured…” Beomgyu splutters.

“Mmm I’ll be careful with you, baby.” Soobin hums, his lips hot against Beomgyu’s skin as he continues kissing up the column of his neck.

Beomgyu shivers, his fingers tightening around Soobin’s shirt. “Do you want to kill me?”

“Maybe…you’re pretty annoying.” Soobin smirks, pulling back. “Ahh I’ll stop though—like you said, you’re injured.”

“Wait no—“

“—too late.”

“You bitch.” Beomgyu groans.

“Let’s just go back to the other’s, they’re gonna start to get worried.” Soobin smiles, pulling Beomgyu up as he stands.

“Fine…but you’re still a bitch.”

“I know.”

Chapter Text

“Oh good you guys are back!” Kai exclaims when Beomgyu and Soobin step into the living room where everyone else is after spending a little more time together.

Beomgyu presses his lips into a thin line, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. The way they’re all looking at him with sad expressions…they must’ve definitely been able to hear all his crying.

How embarrassing.

“Kai has something to show you, Beomie.” Yeonjun says softly as Beomgyu sits down next to him with Soobin.

“Yeah, Kai’s a sneaky little bastard.” Taehyun grins, nudging at his boyfriend's side.

“He's a badass!” Jungwon adds.

“Listen—I only did this because Beomgyu’s parents suck and he needs money for his hockey…” Kai says, suddenly dumping a bunch of money and watches onto the table.

“Wait, did you steal all this from my parents?!” Kai nods. “Fuck that’s awesome!” Beomgyu shrieks, his expression shifting to excitement as his eyes waver over the expensive items. Kai shrugs, though he looks pretty proud.

“Oh—and they won’t be able to blackmail you in any way since I got a video of what they did to you.” Taehyun adds. “And don’t worry, I’ll send it to you then delete it so only you have it.”

“Thank you.” Beomgyu says. He honestly didn’t expect all this. He barely knows Kai, and last he checked, Taehyun really didn’t like him…but he’s still grateful nonetheless. After everything, this is a nice surprise. “Thank you all for helping me yesterday too.” He mumbles, tears brimming in his eyes. God, he really hates how emotional he is these days.

Yeonjun turns to hug him, “I’ll always take care of you…you’re my family, okay?” Yeonjun says. Beomgyu can only smile, unable to speak as his throat burns with tears…though this time, they’re tears of happiness.

“And that goes for you too, Jungwon, don’t think you’re going back to those people.” Yeonjun huffs, glancing over to Jungwon who sits next to Kai. “I’ll take care of both of you for as long as you need.”

Maybe things will be okay after all Beomgyu thinks as he hugs Yeonjun. He might be broken, but he’s not alone anymore…people care about him. He and Jungwon are out of that house and that’s all that matters now.

He’s safe.

—

A few weeks pass by and (a very antsy) Beomgyu is finally able to come back to the rink and practice with his team. Most of his injuries are healed by now, and he’s beyond excited to be back. He would’ve come back sooner, even with his injuries, but Yeonjun definitely would not allow that.

In all honesty, being unable to practice really took a toll on him, enough so that he had a few more breakdowns. Of course, Yeonjun was always there to bring him back down…Beomgyu was grateful for that.

Occasionally he had watched a few of his team’s games, but in the end, that only made him itch to be able to play more, so he opted out of that after a while.

Desperately he had missed being on the ice, but somehow, even more than that, he missed regularly seeing Soobin. Truthfully, he might’ve even missed him more than hockey, but who really knows.

In any case, Beomgyu is very happy to be back.

—

“Soobin!” Beomgyu yells as soon as he spots the figure skater on the ice practicing with his coach. “I’m back!”

Soobin whips his head around at Beomgyu’s voice, nearly stumbling on the ice before he skates on over.

Taehyun and Kai look over from the stands, both of them happily waving to Beomgyu as well. His heart warms at that, it’s nice to be greeted back, especially by Taehyun who used to (still does?) hate him.

Soobin leans against the boards, his hands reaching to pull Beomgyu closer, easily getting his attention.

“I missed you.” Soobin deadpans, breathing heavily from skating.

Beomgyu’s eyes widen, his lips parting in a near gasp. “That was very…straightforward?”

“I can’t help it.” Soobin huffs, running his hands through his sweat slicked hair as he grins.
Beomgyu gulps, his heart flipping in his chest as Soobin briefly exposes his forehead. He can’t help when he starts to visibly stare, losing any train of thought as he takes in how beautiful Soobin is.

“Did you miss me too?” Soobin questions, his eyes narrowing as he watches, pleased, as Beomgyu stares at him.

“Maybe…” Beomgyu breathes after a moment, shaking himself back to his senses.

He missed him…badly…so badly.

“Soobin!” Seokjin calls from the other side of the rink, glaring at them both…right, Soobin was practicing with him wasn’t he? Too bad…Beomgyu had wanted more time with Soobin before his own practice.

“Well—I gotta get back. I’ll try extra hard for you though, baby.” Soobin winks before skating back over to Seokjin.

Beomgyu already misses him again.

…

“Since when did you get so starry-eyed with him?” Seokjin scoffs. “Last I checked, you two used to be at each other’s throats.”

“We still are.” Soobin lies, Seokjin easily catching on.

“I find that hard to believe.”

Soobin shrugs, turning his attention back to skating. He sure as hell doesn’t want to be discussing whatever he has going on with Beomgyu with his coach…that’s just embarrassing.

“Can he make you stop overworking yourself?” Seokjin suddenly jabs, a frown set on his face as he looks over Soobin.

“I’m not.” Another lie.

“I’m not stupid, Soobin. I can tell when my skaters have practiced more than what’s healthy. How many times do I have to tell you that it’ll only make you fail?”

It’s always the same, Seokjin scolding him like this over his terrible habit. If anything it’s annoying, understandable, but still annoying. Soobin can’t just tell himself to stop, it’s not a mindset that he can just so easily forget about. It’s something that he’s burned into himself for years, it won’t go away just because someone tells him it’s bad.

“Maybe a few more times.” He mutters, feeling even more frustrated with himself now.

These past few days have really been hell, he’s been far too hard on himself.

Though, maybe with Beomgyu back…he’ll finally be able to let himself rest.

—

The following day, Beomgyu’s ‘need for Soobin’ meter falls to zero again, both boys being too busy with their practice yesterday to properly see each other again.

He easily finds said boy in the locker room after some searching around. Already feeling better just seeing him.

“Hey.” Soobin greets, giving him a half smile, looking far too exhausted.

“Uh—since I couldn’t go to your competition…would you want to come watch one of my games?” Beomgyu asks Soobin hesitantly, deciding to come back to Soobin’s tired state later.

He really wants to show off for Soobin, as well as there’s a part of him that feels comforted by the idea of Soobin coming to one of his games. Really, he’s just needy now and just likes having Soobin close at all times. “I know you don’t really like watching hockey but…” He trails off, feeling suddenly self conscious if Soobin rejects him when he desperately wants him to go.

“You’re right, I don’t really like watching hockey.” Soobin deadpans, playing right into Beomgyu’s worries.

Beomgyu visibly deflates, the prior shine in his eyes fading at the obvious rejection. “Maybe I shouldn’t of asked…sorry.“ He mutters awkwardly, feeling stupid to think Soobin would want to go.

“I do like watching you play hockey, though.” Soobin says quickly, a smirk on his lips showing his true intentions of teasing Beomgyu. “You’re kind of hot when you are.”

“Ahh—you were just playing…I see.” Beomgyu mumbles, feeling his face heat up at his reaction to Soobin’s teasing. Either way, Soobin’s compliment still burns in his mind, heightening his mood.

“You’re cute when you’re upset.” Soobin teases, poking Beomgyu’s nose. “You really want me to come to your game, though?”

“Well…that’s why I asked, isn't it?” Beomgyu huffs, hating the smug look on Soobin’s (pretty) face.

“Alright alright, I’ll be there…baby.”

Beomgyu rolls his eyes despite the pet name giving him butterflies. “I hate you.”

“You love me.” Soobin smirks, throwing Beomgyu a wink.

Beomgyu sticks out his tongue as Soobin goes, but really, Soobin isn’t far off from the truth.

Beomgyu’s decided to accept that fact now.

—

A few days later, Beomgyu’s game day rolls around. It’s a home game, so Soobin doesn’t have to go anywhere to watch Beomgyu, only stay at the rink. It’s also Beomgyu’s first game after being back after what happened, so Soobin’s happy to watch him play again.

He sits in the stands with Taehyun and Kai beside him, both there to support their own boyfriend.

Somehow, Soobin finds himself wondering what it would be like to have Beomgyu as his boyfriend…he quickly shakes the thought away…he does however find himself coming back to that idea as the night goes on.

…

Beomgyu easily finds Soobin watching him in the stands, his heart stupidly giddy as their eyes meet.

Being able to play an official game after being back is already enough to have him beyond overjoyed, but with Soobin also watching…his happiness is just overflowing.

All of this…hockey…his friends…Soobin…it’s all enough to help everything hurt a little less.

There’s still nightmares, there’s still breakdowns and dark thoughts, but at least he’s not alone anymore.

Aside from all that, he’s sure as hell going to win this game for Soobin no matter what.

—

After the game, Beomgyu bounces up to Soobin with a big grin on his face from winning. Soobin smiles, biting his lip as he takes in Beomgyu’s flushed cheeks and slightly damp hair as he pants before him.

“Hey Bun…my team won. Can I get a kiss?” Beomgyu exclaims, leaning up on his toes as he stares at Soobin with bright eyes despite his clear exhaustion. “Pretty please?”

Soobin shakes his head, physically holding himself back from cupping Beomgyu’s cheeks and kissing him senseless. “I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“But I won…” Beomgyu whines, his lips jutting out as pouts. It’s adorable, far too adorable for someone Soobin used to so easily hate.

Soobin giggles, unable to resist Beomgyu’s cuteness any longer. He leans forward, pressing soft kisses to both of Beomgyu’s rosy cheeks. “Will that suffice for now?” He whispers before falling back to stare at Beomgyu’s stunned expression.

Beomgyu nods quickly, biting back a smile at Soobin’s little gesture. Though, his eyes tell just how excited he is from Soobin’s chaste kisses.

“Good. Now go get changed, you stink.” Soobin says, wrinkling his nose before walking off and leaving Beomgyu with too many butterflies in his stomach.

—

“Can I stay the night at Soobin’s place tonight—if he’ll let me.” Beomgyu asks Yeonjun once he’s finished showering and changing.

Yeonjun raises an eyebrow, glancing over to Beomgyu as he collects his things. “You know you don’t have to ask me, right?”

“I know…but I know you like to know where I am now because of…what happened.” Beomgyu points out, tapping his fingers together.

“Mm that’s true—so you’ll for sure just be cuddling with Soobin then?”

Beomgyu gasps, throwing Yeonjun a glare. “We won’t be cuddling!”

Yeonjun laughs, shaking his head in amusement as if Beomgyu just told him Santa Claus is real.

“Yeah right, I know damn well that’s why you’re going. You’re lovesick and it shows.”

Beomgyu rolls his eyes, only able to pout…because unfortunately, Yeonjun really isn’t wrong. In truth, he’s been missing Soobin a lot more than he’d like to admit. Sure, they saw each other at the rink here and there. But they couldn’t do much cuddling or anything there. Really, Beomgyu just wanted to sleeo by Soobin’s side for one night again. Sleeping alone has been far too…lonely.

“Shut up.” He finally groans, capping his racing thoughts about Soobin.

Though, aside from his needy want for Soobin, a bit of insecurity also sits in his mind. Painfully, he constantly makes himself question everything. Every day he wonders if Soobin even still wants him…because truly, who would want someone so broken and most likely unfixable?

Hopefully Soobin will stay even just a little bit longer…

—

“Doll…can I stay at your place tonight…?” Beomgyu asks Soobin later that evening, pushing aside his worries in favor of his want.

Soobin raises an eyebrow, a lopsided grin on his lips at the request. “Why?”

“Please?” Beomgyu pleads embarrassingly. He knows Soobin likes it when he acts all needy for him…and honestly, he is kind of needy for Soobin right now.

It seems to work, Soobin’s expression looking almost immediately pleased (and amused).

“Fine, but I’m not gonna kiss you.” Soobin teases.

“What?! I didn’t—I just wanted…” Beomgyu splutters, already embarrassed. God, he’s such a mess in front of Soobin these days…what the hell happened to him. Is this really what liking someone does to a person? It seems so.

Soobin laughs, sensing Beomgyu’s inner panic and reaches to ruffle Beomgyu’s hair. “I know, I’m only kidding, baby.”

Beomgyu huffs, still embarrassed but happy that Soobin at least said yes…as well as the pet name. He likes that…a lot.

Maybe Soobin will stay after all.

—

“Oh—you kept my bunny plushie!” Beomgyu exclaims when he walks over to Soobin’s bed after they get to his place. Sure enough, the very plushie Beomgyu got him is sitting comfortably near Soobin’s pillows.

Soobin rubs the back of his neck, his cheeks a little flush as he stands by Beomgyu’s side. “Well, why wouldn’t I? Honestly it kind of helps me sleep at night too…but it’s not as good as you…” He adds and Beomgyu silently beams.

“Have you not been sleeping good lately?” Beomgyu asks a few minutes later as Soobin goes to cook up some food for them. Not only does what Soobin just said give him this idea, but lately he’s noticed the circles under Soobin’s eyes to be darker and his entire demeanour is seemingly more exhausted (and not just because of overworking himself).

“You noticed?” Soobin scoffs as he glances over to Beomgyu from across the kitchen.

“Maybe—you’re overworking yourself again, aren’t you?”

Soobin rolls his eyes. “That doesn’t matter.”

“It kind of does.”

“Why?”

“I’ve seen what it does to you.” Beomgyu challenges, frustrated by Soobin’s constant stubbornness on this matter. “Always overworking yourself like this isn’t right.

“You sound just like Seokjin.” Soobin mutters, an edge to his voice as he stands stiffly.

“Yeah? We’ll we’re right. Haven’t you figured that out already?” Beomgyu growls in annoyance. He’s very clearly pissing Soobin off right now, but he doesn’t have an off button (even though his mind is screaming at him to stop).

“Then what do I do? Huh, Beomgyu? How the fuck do I get better?! I can’t mess things up now. I can’t—I can’t disappoint her!” Soobin suddenly snaps, causing Beomgyu to flinch back.

His heart pounds, momentary panic seizing him before he calms again. This is just Soobin…not his father..

“Fuck—I’m sorry…I didn’t mean—“ Soobin tries, his voice breaking as he sees Beomgyu’s face pale after flinching back. Soobin looks almost sick, his hands shaking as he looks at Beomgyu. “I—I didn’t mean to scare you…I’m sorry…I’m just—it’s just—I’m so sorry…”

“It’s fine.” Beomgyu whispers, calming himself down. Instead, he moves to pull Soobin into a gentle hug.

Soobin shakes his head, but clutches onto Beomgyu nonetheless. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you…I’m sorry…I’m sorry.” He whimpers, his breathing becoming erratic as he starts to tremble.

“I shouldn’t have pushed you like that…I was being ignorant.” Beomgyu reasons, rubbing Soobin’s back like he’s done for him one too many times before.

“So what? You didn’t deserve that…I’m sorry…” Soobin gasps out, biting back a sob.

“I know.” Beomgyu mutters as he leans up to place a soft kiss on Soobin's forehead. He can understand how Soobin feels, having reached this breaking point one too many times himself.

“How about you go sit down and I’ll make dinner instead, okay?” Beomgyu says gently, guiding Soobin into the living room.

“It’s fine, I can do it.”

“No—go sit down, doll.” Beomgyu urges, nudging Soobin towards the couch. “Please.”

“Fine.” Soobin mumbles, flopping down onto the couch as Beomgyu lightly pushes at his chest.

…

After a little bit, Beomgyu eventually presents some food on the coffee table before Soobin (after having a hell of a time in the kitchen). Despite his struggles, he’s made something edible, not as good as Soobin would’ve done, but edible nonetheless.

“Thank you.” Soobin smiles, quickly reaching to start eating, his movements still tense. Beomgyu wonders when the last time he ate today was. He knows too well that Soobin accidentally sacrifices one too many meals in favor of practicing.

They eat in silence for a little bit, the air between them still a little heavy after Soobin’s earlier outburst.

Soobin sits back after he finishes eating, finally sparing Beomgyu a glance.

“Right now I’m just really stressed about everything…frustrated if anything…I fucked up my last competition and that hasn’t happened in a while…” Soobin tries to explain, though, even though he looks a little unsure of why he’s feeling the way he is. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that…but like I said, I haven’t been sleeping lately and my thoughts are really fucked up right now…”

“Why’d you fuck up your last competition?” Beomgyu asks as he continues eating.

“You.”

Beomgyu pauses at that, nearly choking on his food. “O—oh…oh that was—I’m sorry.” He whispers, feeling almost guilty as his mind goes back to a few weeks ago.

“I guess I care a hell of a lot more about you than I thought.” Soobin laughs, scrunching up his face. “Taehyun had told me that you would come…but when you didn’t I got upset and fucked my programs up.”

Beomgyu smirks. “I have that much of an effect on you?

“Unfortunately.”

“Is there anything I can do to help you now though? I don’t like you like this…” Beomgyu asks timidly. Soobin has done so much to help him, it’s time he returns the favor.

“Can you just. Be here. Is that okay…?”

Beomgyu nods, shifting to lean against Soobin’s side. “Yeah…I think we both need that from each other right now.”

—

“I’m glad you asked to come over tonight.” Soobin whispers after a few hours of watching movies. A vulnerable expression masks over his face as he looks at Beomgyu. “Honestly, I sleep the best when your beside me.” He confesses, his voice quieter than before, but Beomgyu still catches it.

Beomgyu gives him a soft smile, “likewise.”

They both fall silent after that, their cheeks pink as they busy themselves with getting ready to sleep instead of looking at each other.

Eventually they get comfortable in Soobin’s bed after each showering and changing into pajamas. Once again, Beomgyu didn’t have any pajamas with him, having come straight from practice. Of course, Soobin didn’t mind Beomgyu wearing his clothes. The way everything was oversized was way too adorable that Soobin wouldn’t mind giving him clothes every day. Beomgyu also smelled like him now, which to say the least, he likes.

Soobin shifts to face Beomgyu, his eyes wavering to Beomgyu’s exposed collar bone due to Soobin’s oversized shirt. He smiles, pressing forward to place a few chaste kisses to the exposed skin, Beomgyu giggling at the contact.

“Can I have a kiss now?” Beomgyu exhales when Soobin meets his eyes again.

Soobin shakes his head, pulling back from Beomgyu. He lays his head back onto his pillow, still watching Beomgyu with heavy eyes as they lay in mostly darkness.

Beomgyu frowns at the rejection, though, instead of being playful like usual, his expression seems to shift to panicked.

“Am I being too pushy…? I’m sorry…I’m overstepping, aren’t I?” Beomgyu mumbles, looking guilty as he turns to glance up at the roof rather than at Soobin. “I’m not very good at all of this…I just really…want you…I’m sorry.”

Soobin sighs, his stomach twisting when he notices Beomgyu’s genuine worry about making Soobin uncomfortable. It’s endearing, enough to make Soobin fall for Beomgyu somehow even more. He really hates the power Beomgyu has over him these days.

He reaches to tug at Beomgyu’s shirt, making him roll back over to look at him. However, Beomgyu still refuses eye contact so Soobin’s grabs his cheeks, forcing him to look him in the eyes.

Beomgyu blinks, his face and lips squished together like a fish as Soobin holds his cheeks.

“Beomgyu, don’t apologize, please.” Soobin pauses, releasing Beomgyu’s face when he’s sure he won’t look away. As thought, Beomgyu continues staring at him, his eyes wide. “Listen—I want to kiss you until you don’t even remember your own name…so don’t think I don’t want you too. But…I want it to be right, not rushed, not wrong.”

With that, he gently presses his lips to Beomgyu’s knuckles. His eyes never once leave Beomgyu as he leaves chaste kisses across his skin. Even when he flips his arm to kiss his wrist, his eyes stay on Beomgyu.

“Also, it’s kind of fun to tease you like this, I like how much you want it.” Soobin says before kissing Beomgyu’s cheek and laying back down.

Beomgyu bites back a smile, nuzzling closer to Soobin until his face presses to his chest. At that, Soobin wraps the smaller boy in his arms, pressing his nose into his hair as he lets his eyes fall shut.

Like this, they’re both safe.

“Thank you.” Beomgyu mumbles into Soobin’s shirt a few moments later, his voice barely audible.

“For what.” Soobin wonders, breathing in the pretty scent of his faintly lavender shampoo.

Beomgyu hesitates, his arms unconsciously tightening around the figure skater. Soobin notices, pulling him even closer. It’s a silent assurance of safety, enough to push away any prior uncertainty.

“For staying…” Beomgyu finally whispers, his cheeks hot as he bares himself vulnerable once again.

Soobin smiles, placing a kiss to the top of Beomgyu’s head as his heart burns with affection. “Anything for you, baby…”

With Soobin…Beomgyu finally feels like he has a home.

“Can I say one more thing—or I guess ask?” Beomgyu says slowly.

“Go for it.” Soobin mumbles, his eyes falling heavy as surrounds himself in Beomgyu.

“Um—will you maybe go on a date with me tomorrow…?” Beomgyu questions quietly, his heart pounding against Soobin as his nerves sky rocket.

“R—really?” Soobin gasps, fully waking back up.

“I mean you don’t have to—“

“I want to…yes…yes, I’d love that.” Soobin assures, peppering Beomgyu’s cheeks in kisses out of his own happiness.

“Are you sure?” Beomgyu whispers, feeling doubtful even as Soobin kisses his face. “I get it if you don’t want to…I wouldn’t want to deal with someone like me either.”

Now it’s just all his anxiety speaking, all his insecurities are finally coming out into the open.

“Beomgyu…of course I’m sure.” Soobin says, almost sounding sad that Beomgyu doesn’t seem to believe him. “And what do you mean someone like you?”

“I’m a broken mess…that can be a lot for someone to have to deal with…I’m so fucked up.” Beomgyu pauses, giving up hiding how he feels around Soobin. “We were rivals for so long, surely you still don’t like me. I mean really, how can you even like me? I’m annoying and dumb—“

.

.

.

Soobin kisses him.

Chapter Text

Soobin kisses him.

.

.

.

He kisses Beomgyu gently, but only briefly, though it’s enough to silence Beomgyu nonetheless…enough to calm the dark mess inside his noisy mind.

Beomgyu gasps out at the contact, frozen against Soobin in momentary shock as their lips briefly meet. Though, before he can react, Soobin pulls back, looking almost as shocked as Beomgyu.

Their cheeks are both flushed like burning wine, eyes round with stars as they look at each other in quiet wonder.

“I’m sorry!” Soobin yelps out before Beomgyu can even say anything. “I should’ve asked you first…I just didn’t like the things you were saying about yourself and I didn’t know what to do…I’m sorry.”

Beomgyu frowns, but feels a fondness rising in his chest that replaces any of his prior worries.

“Soobin, didn’t I just ask you to kiss me a little bit ago?” He assures, running his fingers over Soobin’s thigh to soothe his panic.

Soobin purses his lips and nods, but still looks slightly guilty. “Yeah…but that was before…maybe you didn’t want me to kiss you anymore.”

Beomgyu only shakes his head, sitting up and pulling Soobin to sit with him. They sit crossed legged on the bed, both facing each other, Soobin’s eyes swirling with curiosity as he watches Beomgyu.

“Kiss me again.” Beomgyu urges as he brings his hands up to cup Soobin’s soft cheeks. “Please.” He pleads, gently rubbing his thumb over Soobin’s face as he presses closer.

Soobin hesitates, but his eyes burn with a fiery want as he looks at Beomgyu.

“If you promise me you won’t doubt my feelings for you anymore.” Soobin says, leaning back against the headboard and pulling Beomgyu with him. Beomgyu grins and follows happily, easily climbing into Soobin’s lap.

“Only if you show me how you feel about me, doll.” Beomgyu replies, wrapping his arms around Soobin’s neck and bringing their bodies flush against each other. “Make me understand.”

Soobin smirks, leaning forward to ghost his lips over Beomgyu’s. “I can do that, baby.” Beomgyu’s breath hitches, his heart pounding in his chest as he’s fully aware of everything this time. He can feel Soobin’s breath fanning over his face, his mind spinning as Soobin’s hands find their way to him.

“Are you sure about this?” Soobin asks quietly, his fingers tapping against Beomgyu’s sides.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted you to kiss me for?” Beomgyu replies, excitement building in his mind as Soobin presses a teasing kiss to his cheek.

Soobin laughs, placing a chaste kiss to the corner of Beomgyu’s mouth. “Yeah, like the time you begged me to kiss you.”

“Exactly.” Beomgyu breathes, blushing Soobin sweetly peppers kisses all over his face.

“Now kiss me...” Beomgyu says again, melting beneath Soobin’s gentle hands. He’s lost all shame now, ready to do anything just for Soobin to kiss him again.

“Alright, baby.” Soobin whispers, meeting Beomgyu’s eyes again.

Beomgyu shivers at the use of the pet name again, vibrating in anticipation at the thought of having Soobin’s lips against his again. He’s waited for this moment for so long…and now with both of them a little sleepy and very much in love, it’s finally happening.

Slowly, Soobin leans forward, his fingers pressing into Beomgyu’s jaw as he tilts his head down to finally meet his lips. Beomgyu readily kisses back, their mouths finally connecting, two restless storms meeting with a crash.

They kiss carefully at first, both boys giggling in uncertainty as they dance around each other's mouths in delicate hesitance.

Though, after a few chaste kisses and laughing, Soobin kisses him more fiercely, his confidence finally coming forth. Beomgyu also finds his confidence at that moment, kissing Soobin with more sureness and desire as the kiss slowly deepens, leaving them both breathless.

Their mouths slide together in warm bliss after that, Soobin’s fingers caressing Beomgyu’s cheek before trailing down to the base of his neck and tangling in his hair. Beomgyu exhales shakily, breathing in Soobin’s sweetness as the older takes him apart.

Briefly, they pull back, both panting with reddened and kiss slicked lips. Beomgyu gives a lopsided smile, his eyes half lidded as he takes in Soobin’s red lips.

Soobin grins, barely able to find his breath before Beomgyu pulls him in again. Their mouths easily find each other, both eager for more as they press together.

They kiss for what feels like hours under the veil of darkness, drinking each other up until their lips bruise. They pull back after that, both too dazed to kiss anhmore, drunken on blissful euphoria and each other.

Despite that, Soobin quickly gets out his polaroid camera. “Can I take a picture of you?” He asks, loving the way Beomgyu looks after having been kissed by him.

Beomgyu flushes, embarrassed by the request, but also enjoying the fact that Soobin wants a picture of him like this.

“Sure, doll.”

“You look pretty like this,” Soobin says as he clicks a picture. The flash captures Beomgyu’s flushed face and swollen lips perfectly. “So pretty.”

They lay back down after that, Beomgyu easily fitting himself into Soobin’s arms like a puzzle piece. He snuggles against him, nosing his face into the crook of Soobin’s neck as they get comfortable.

Soobin holds him tightly, pulling him tight to his chest as he combs through his hair. Beomgyu leans into the touch, his eyes fluttering shut at the nice feeling.

“Was that enough for you to understand how I feel about you?” Soobin whispers, tracing his fingers over Beomgyu’s face as they lay together.

“Mmm.” Beomgyu hums, curling against Soobin like a cat as he closes his eyes sleepily. “I feel better now…you’re just like magic.”

“Good…I like when you’re happy.” Soobin mumbles fondly as Beomgyu quickly drifts off next to him.

Soobin smiles, kissing the top of Beomgyu’s head one last time before letting himself fall asleep as well.

They will be okay.

—

“Good morning.” Soobin greets as Beomgyu stretches awake the following morning.

He blinks up at Soobin, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he moves to lay his head on stomach. His eyes fall shut again as he yawns and cuddles up against Soobin.

“Did you sleep good, love?” Soobin giggles, poking at Beomgyu’s cheeks as the younger feigns sleep.

“Love…?” Beomgyu blushes, opening his sleepy eyes slightly to look at Soobin. “But yeah…I dreamed that you kissed me.”

Soobin pauses, almost laughing at how genuinely clueless sleepy Beomgyu is. “Baby…” He starts, smiling widely at the adorable boy sprawled out on his chest.

“Hmm?”

“That really happened.”

Beomgyu freezes, startling awake at the realization. He touches his lips, his eyes widening as he slowly remembers everything and that it was all in fact very real.

“Oh my god it did—you actually kissed me last night!” Beomgyu yelps, hovering over Soobin, his face lighting up in excitement.

“And I’m going on a date with you today.” Soobin adds, recalling Beomgyu asking him out on a date last night as well.

“Oh yeah—you still want to go…?” Beomgyu asks sheepishly.

“Beomgyu.” Soobin scolds, narrowing his eyes.

“Okay okay sorry…can I have a kiss again?” Beomgyu asks, giving a little pout as he stares down at Soobin beneath him.

Soobin shakes his head, smirking as Beomgyu’s pout further deepens, his lips looking far too kissable. “Brush your teeth first, baby.” He says, despite wanting to kiss Beomgyu stupid. Instead, he plants a kiss on Beomgyu’s nose before carefully rolling Beomgyu off and leaving the pouting boy to go make breakfast.

…

After Beomgyu brushes his teeth (he really wants a kiss) he finds Soobin in the kitchen.

He bounces up to him, wrapping his arms around his waist from behind until their bodies are flush together. Soobin smiles, blushing as Beomgyu presses his face against his back.

“You’re warm.” Soobin comments before spinning Beomgyu around to face him. “And cute.”

“I brushed my teeth.” Beomgyu says, standing up onto his tippy toes before Soobin.

“You’re sure needy, aren’t you?” Soobin giggles, bringing Beomgyu’s hands up to press lingering kisses to the inside of his wrists. Beomgyu melts into the simple affection, feeling perfectly delicate in Soobin’s hands.

“Let’s eat first though, baby.” Soobin says after a moment, enjoying teasing Beomgyu like this (he’s adorable when he’s sulking). As well as both their stomachs are audibly growling as they stand there.

“But I’m impatient.” Beomgyu groans, throwing Soobin a playful glare.

“And I’m hungry.”

“Fine.” Beomgyu huffs, giving in only because he likes the thought of Soobin eating properly…and he’s hungry too.

…

After they finish eating, they lay on the couch together, Beomgyu resting on top of Soobin as they cuddle lazily before they head to the rink.

“Did you really take a picture of me last night?” Beomgyu asks, still in shock that they actually kissed last night.

“Mhmm—wanna see?” Soobin asks, a smug expression on his face..

“Isn’t it embarrassing?”

“I like it.” Soobin says as he moves to get up.

“Of course you do.” Beomgyu rolls his eyes, stretching out on the couch as he waits for Soovin to return.

Eventually Soobin comes back, this time holding the polaroid picture. Beomgyu groans in embarrassment, already having an idea of how the photo of him looks (he’s still somewhat curious though).

Soobin holds it in front of him, smiling stupidly as Beomgyu takes it in. He cringes, his face heating up as he sees his kiss dazed self from last night.

“Geez—you really kissed me good, didn’t you?” Beomgyu laughs. Though, as embarrassing as the photo is, he definitely wants to be like that again.

“Can I kiss you again?” Soobin questions, Beomgyu already crawling into his lap.

“Please.”

—

“Bun, you’ve been skating all morning, come take a break.” Beomgyu urges as he watches Soobin practice later that morning.

“Just a little longer.” Soobin huffs as he skates over to Beomgyu, his movements visibly stunted with exhaustion after too many hours of skating.

Beomgyu glares, hating how tired and in pain Soobin looks as he stands before him. So before Soobin can skate off again, Beomgyu reaches over the boards to pull Soobin down, capturing his lips against his own.

He doesn’t care that his team might see them, he doesn’t care if they mock him later…he only cares about Soobin.

Soobin is his everything and no one will take that away from him. Nothing will ruin this for him, he won’t let his happiness be ruined by anyone.

And most of all, he won’t let Soobin hurt himself anymore.

Soobin is the catalyst to his happiness and he wants to be the same for Soobin.

He’ll never let him go.

Soobin exhales against him, falling into the kiss as his hands instinctively come up to cup Beomgyu’s cheeks. But Beomgyu doesn’t miss how shaky his hands are, or the feeling of tears suddenly dripping onto his cheeks.

Beomgyu quickly pulls back from the kiss, looking at Soobin with alarm.

“Sorry.” Soobin apologizes weakly, rubbing at his teary eyes, a vulnerable expression masking over his face.

“Hey, let’s go sit in the locker room instead.” Beomgyu whispers, slightly panicked as to why Soobin’s suddenly crying after their kiss.

Surprisingly, Soobin nods, finally stepping off the ice and tugging his skates off.

Beomgyu then gently grabs his hand, their fingers interlocking as they walk in silence to the locker rooms.

Soobin groans as he walks after Beomgyu, his feet clearly in pain. Beomgyu’s heart aches at that…he hates when Soobin is in pain like this.

Soobin sits down on the benches with a sigh, Beomgyu immediately pressing close to him, their hands still clasped together.

“I’m tired, Beomgyu…so tired.” Soobin admits, tears burning in his eyes as he finally bares himself for Beomgyu. “My body hurts so much and the last time I slept properly was with you in my arms.”

“Oh, doll…you have to stop overworking yourself like this.” Beomgyu replies, softly thumbing over the back of Soobin’s hand. He’s careful with his words, not wanting to push Soobin again or scare him away. He wants Soobin to open up to him, he wants him to be comfortable enough to show his weaknesses.

“I—I know…out there I couldn’t help when I started crying…you just made me feel so happy…you were able to take me down...” Soobin whispers, his voice breaking as he holds back more tears.

Beomgyu presses a few gentle kisses to Soobin’s hand. “yeah, you’re pretty self destructive.”

“I am…I just don’t want to fall behind…I need to stay on top.”

“Bun, you are on top and you’ll still be on top even if you don’t practice as much. Your skills won’t just disappear if you skate less, I promise.”

“I know…I know…It’s just hard to go against all the thoughts in my mind…they’re so loud sometimes.”

Beomgyu knows too well just how such destructive thoughts work, he knows this is a pattern that Soobin won’t be able to break out of so easily. But maybe with some secondary help, from Beomgyu constantly, Soobin will fall out of this harmful practice of overworking himself until he breaks.

Of course, it isn’t as simple as telling Soobin to stop, Beomgyu’s sure many people have already told him that…no, Soobin needs to be physically stopped and if that means by kisses and cuddles are Beomgyu physically dragging him off the ice, then so be it.

It’s clear Soobin can’t be told verbally, but it seems that today, kissing him did the trick.

“Can I try to help? Will you let me stop you when you’re hurting yourself…?” Beomgyu suggests after a moment, praying Soobin will let him help instead of caging himself away.

“When did you get so reasonable and caring?” Soobin laughs, letting his head fall onto Beomgyu’s shoulder as they sit there. “Have you really always been this sweet?”

“I mean, ever since that night I found you all messed up in the locker, something shifted I guess.”

“Really?” Soobin perks up, interested in what Beomgyu’s saying, his prior tears since gone.

“Yeah…after that day I felt a little different about you but I couldn’t figure out why.” Beomgyu pauses, thinking back to all those months ago, a fondness burning in his chest. “Actually, I think I’ve always liked you just a little bit.”

“What? You were always messing with me because you liked me?” Soobin gasps, ruffling Beomgyu’s long hair.

“Maybe—I have issues, okay.” Beomgyu huffs, his lips jutting out adorably. “I’m not good at this whole feelings thing, never have been.” At that, Soobin leans forward to steal a chaste kiss, Beomgyu gasping at the sudden action.

“That was too quick!” Beomgyu exclaims. “I want a refund kiss.”

“Oh yeah?” Soobin teases, pushing his thumb against Beomgyu’s plush bottom lip and watching pink spread across Beomgyu’s cheeks.

“Please, baby doll—you’re so pretty.” Beomgyu pleads, trying to bite at Soobin’s thumb, the older quickly pulling back with a laugh.

“God you’re so annoying.” Soobin sighs, leaning to leave little butterfly kisses along Beomgyu’s jaw.

“Mhm and you like it.”

“I do.” Soobin whispers before coming up to give Beomgyu a chaste kiss. Though, as Beomgyu whines for more, Soobin happily obeys, kissing him long and hard until they both start laughing for no other reason than being in love with each other.

—

When they leave the arena later that evening, Beomgyu seems to be tagging along with Yeonjun and Kai rather than Soobin.

“You’re not coming with me? What about our date…?” Soobin asks, confused as to why Beomgyu seems to be leaving with them.

Their friends exchange glances at that, Taehyun also being by Soobin’s side and perking up at the mention of a date. Though, no one says anything, instead they just watch and wait as Soobin and Beomgyu talk.

“I’m not gonna go on a date with you wearing your clothes, dummy. I’m gonna go get ready at Yeonjun’s then pick you up.” Beomgyu explains, ignoring Yeonjun’s questioning expression and poking.

“Oh—I’ll get ready too then…do I need to look fancy?” Soobin asks shyly, feeling suddenly embarrassed by all his friends' interested gazes.

“Just dress casual and cute like you always do.” Beomgyu says with a wink that makes Soobin blush like an idiot. He really hates how stupidly in love he is with this boy.

“Okay…see you in a bit.”

“See you, doll.”

—

“What do I wear?!” Beomgyu screams, surrounding himself in a pile of clothes after searching for around an hour and coming up with nothing.

Yeonjun and Kai peek inside the room, eyeing up the mess of clothes as they walk into the room to help Beomgyu who falls onto his bed in defeat. Well, more specifically for Yeonjun to help him, Kai’s just there for moral support.

“Are you gonna tell us about what’s going on with you and Soobin then.” Yeonjun questions, still waiting for the details of everything, seeing as Beomgyu ran straight to his room when they got here.

“I asked Soobin on a date last night…?” Beomgyu mutters, not sure how many details he wants to spill right now. Then again, that’s really all that’s happening.

“You finally got the confidence?” Yeonjun scoffs, searching through Beomgyu’s clothes. “Took you long enough.”

“That’s cute…did you guys kiss?” Kai giggles off to the side. “Do you really like him?”

“Maybe…” Beomgyu says truthfully, focusing on the wall. “And yes—I do really really like him.”

Yeonjun whips around to look at him, his eyes wide. “You kissed him?! And you didn’t tell me?!”

“I’ll tell you later—just find me a good outfit.” Beomgyu whines, kicking at Yeonjun.

“Oh my god—you’re telling me everything later you brat.” Yeonjun groans, putting emphasis on everything. Beomgyu knows he’s definitely in for a few hours talk with his best friend later.

“Yeah yeah.”

—

Taehyun finds himself at Soobin’s house after finding out about Soobin’s date, Soobin needing help from him to get ready for it.

Taehyun still doesn’t fully understand what is happening between Soobin and Beomgyu these days, but agrees nonetheless seeing how nervous Soobin is about it.

“You like Beomgyu a lot, don’t you?” Taehyun asks hesitantly as Soobin sits before him after getting dressed in some nicer clothes (upon Taehyun’s suggestion).

“Yes…” Soobin admits, his cheeks pink at the confession.

Taehyun sighs, coming to sit down next to Soobin. He feels conflicted, still confused with the sudden shift between Soobin and Beomgyu. Not long ago they were at each other’s throats…so how?

“Is he good to you…?” Taehyun asks after a moment, both curiosity and worry evident in his voice.

Taehyun only knows Beomgyu as Soobin’s rival, someone his friend had very much disliked. The two had constantly bickered and fought, but suddenly now they’re going on a date? Taehyun just doesn’t get it. Sure, Taehyun might understand a little more after seeing what had happened to Beomgyu by his own parents, but still.

Beomgyu is like a wildfire, seemingly chaotic and uncontrolled…how can he possibly meld with someone as gentle and sweet as Soobin?

“I know you don’t really like him, but I swear he’s so good to me…he’s not like the person he pretends to be around everyone else.” Soobin replies slowly, giving Taehyun a half smile. “I haven’t been this happy in a while...he’s really special to me.”

Taehyun hesitantly nods, still unsure of how to feel about this. Can Beomgyu really be so different from the person he shows himself as?

“I know what you’re thinking—but I swear he’s sweet and gentle with me. We’re kind of like each other’s safe place…we understand each other.”

“Oh…sorry, I just worry about you a lot.” Taehyun says slowly, feeling guilty that he’s been thinking so badly of Beomgyu.

He’s seen Soobin at his worst though and he’s always been the one to protect him. Letting him go to someone as volatile as Beomgyu seems wrong, but he knows Soobin isn’t stupid with his feelings for people. Really, Soobin never has feelings for anyone…so this is a change, this is definitely real.

Maybe Taehyun is so worried because he’s being selfish in thinking that he’s the only one who can take care of Soobin…maybe it’s time he let’s someone else help Soobin too.

“I know, and I appreciate that you worry.” Soobin smiles, bringing Taehyun into a tight hug. “But I promise I’ll be okay with Beomgyu…he’ll take care of me, you don’t have to worry anymore.”

“Oh I’ll still worry, but I trust you…so I’ll trust him too…” Taehyun sighs, glad that Soobin might finally be happy. “Now come on—let’s go put some pretty makeup on you.”

Chapter Text

“You look so pretty, doll…” Beomgyu breathes as Soobin gets into his (Yeonjun’s) car. “Like, really super hot.” He adds with a wink when Soobin’s cheeks noticeably flush.

“Oh, be quiet.” Soobin says, rolling his eyes and feigning annoyance despite the small smile planted on his lips. “But so do you.”

“I know.” Beomgyu grins.

“Nevermind. I take it back.”

“Aweh—and to think I was just about to kiss you.” Beomgyu says, shaking his head.

“Oh yeah?” Soobin smirks before leaning closer and easily capturing Beomgyu’s lips against his own. “I’m sure you still will.” He mumbles smugly as Beomgyu’s hand slides instinctively into his hair to pull him closer, completely giving up on his prior words.

“You’re right.” Beomgyu hums, giving Soobin one final kiss before shifting the car into drive much to Soobin’s complaints beside him.

…

The car ride is filled with idle conversation and banter while Beomgyu’s music plays softly in the background.

Unlike the first time Soobin had Beomgyu drive him somewhere, it’s far from awkward. There’s no tension between them anymore, rather, they’re both comfortable while happily enjoying each other’s company.

“So where are we going for our date?” Soobin asks after a few minutes of driving, Beomgyu still not having told him where they’re going.

“A few places.” Beomgyu says without adding any other details much to Soobin’s frustration.

“That’s really all you’re gonna give me?”

“Mhmm—it’s a secret.”

“What if I kiss you a bunch?” Soobin purrs, leaning over to whisper in Beomgyu’s ear. “Will you tell me then?”

Beomgyu shivers, the heat of Soobin’s breath fanning over his face as his lips brush against his ear. “I’m literally driving a car right now.”

Soobin smirks, “and?”

“Do you want me to crash?” He groans, wondering how Soobin manages to make him still get butterflies every single time he even comes close to him.

“Maybe.” Soobin whispers, moving to card his fingers through Beomgyu’s hair to tease him some more.

“Soobin—“

“—okay…okay, sorry, baby.” Soobin giggles despite still playing with Beomgyu’s hair. Though, that won’t make Beomgyu crash the car like a kiss would…well, maybe.

“So you’re really not gonna tell me?” Soobin asks again as he turns to stare out the window at the passing cars.

“Baby…”

“Okay fine!” Soobin pouts, crossing his arms in defiance. “I’ll wait.”

“Thank god—I was really prepared to knock you out.” Beomgyu smiles, reaching over to hold Soobin’s hand as he drives, always liking the feeling of their hands together more then anything else.

Soobin shakes his head, a fond expression on his face as he interlocks his fingers with Beomgyu’s. “I bet you were.”

—

Eventually Beomgyu pulls in somewhere and finally parks the car. There’s a giddy expression on his face as he undoes his seatbelt and Soobin can’t help but momentarily stare. He loves seeing Beomgyu like this, he loves seeing him so happy even after everything that happened to him.

Soobin will do anything to keep Beomgyu happy like this forever.

“Come on, doll!” Beomgyu exclaims, jumping out of the car and shaking Soobin from his daze. Beomgyu takes his hand, eagerly pulling him along as they make their way into the place that Beomgyu has chosen for their date.

…

“Roller skating?” Soobin gasps as they walk inside. He stares around in awe, mesmerized by the colorful lights that light up the indoor rink.

“Yeah! I thought it would be fun since we’re both skaters and it’s like skating but a little bit different…” Beomgyu explains shyly, his cheeks dusted in pink as he looks at Soobin with sparkling eyes. “Do you like it…?”

“I love it!” Soobin exclaims, excited to try something like skating but a little different. He pulls Beomgyu along now go go get skates, Beomgyu laughing alongside him at Soobin’s sudden enthusiam.

Tonight will be perfect.

…

At first they’re both a bit wobbly, the wheels on the roller skates a little bit different then the usual blades on their skates. Despite that, they still get the hang of it after a few minutes of stumbling around and holding on to each other with a lot of laughing.

“This is fun!” Beomgyu yells as he races around the rink, the place being mostly empty due to how late it is. “Look at me, Bun!”

Soobin giggles, watching fondly as Beomgyu skates in circles around him. “You’re so cute.” He laughs before slowly chasing after Beomgyu.

Beomgyu skates around a bit more before stopping abruptly behind Soobin and hugging him. Soobin lets out at the sudden contact as Beomgyu pull him to his chest, his arms tight around him.

“Pull me around.” Beomgyu whines after a minute of hugging him. He grabs Soobin’s hands and he spins him around, his eyes pleading.

“Are you a baby?” Soobin snorts.

Beomgyu quickly nods, swinging around Soobin’s hand as he tugs on it. “Pull me please.”

“Fine—but give me a kiss first.” Soobin says, tapping on his lips. Beomgyu smirks and leans up to press a chaste kiss to Soobin’s lips before falling back, excitement gleaming in his eyes.

“My baby.” Soobin whispers, bringing Beomgyus’s hands up to press a few kisses to his knuckles as Beomgyu flushes.

“Pull me around now.” Beomgyu pouts, Soobin placing one final kiss to his pink cheeks before finally giving in to Beomgyu’s whining.

He easily drags Beomgyu around the rink, luck being on their side as they’re the only ones left on the rink now. Beomgyu screams wildly behind him, having a stupid amount of fun as they go around.

After a few laps, Soobin starts spinning Beomgyu around. Their laughter nearly overpowers the music that plays around them, both of them having too much fun just skating around dumbly.

“Look! I could be a figure skater!” Beomgyu laughs as he (badly) spins around.

Soobin shakes his head, his lips quirking up into a smirk. “Not quite.” He says as he skates over to Beomgyu and grabs his waist before pulling him flush to his body.

They then spin around together until they get dizzy which eventually leads to Beomgyu tripping and both of them falling onto the floor.

Beomgyu lands on top of Soobin, both of them laughing loudly as they lay on the ground in defeat. “This is like the time you knocked me down on the ice.” Soobin giggles.

“When you grabbed my thighs?”

“Yep.” Soobin smirks, his hands already moving to playfully squeeze Beomgyu’s thighs.

“Why must you make me suffer?” Beomgyu huffs, leaning down to kiss Soobin’s forehead.

“As your sworn rival it’s my job.” Soobin notes, kissing the bridge of Beomgyu’s nose while he’s still close. “Wanna get McDonalds?”

“Fuck yeah, I’m starving.”

—

“Who knew our first date would end in a McDonald's parking lot.” Soobin says as they sit in the car’s open trunk under the night sky and a few street lights.

Beomgyu’s head is leaned on his shoulder, both of them sitting comfortably as they eat their share of fast food. “I hope that doesn’t mean it sucked.” He mumbles with his mouth full as he chews.

Soobin shakes his head, shoving some fries into his mouth. “It was the best date I’ve ever been on—wanna stay over tonight too, I want to cuddle you.” He adds as he feeds Beomgyu a fry, Beomgyu biting down on it like a shark.

“Duh—how could I pass up cuddles with you.” Beomgyu beams, moving to shove a fry into Soobin’s open mouth.

Soobin grins. “I know. I’m irresistible.”

—

“Stop fussing—let me tie up your hair.” Soobin huffs as Beomgyu squirms while he tries to tie his long hair up into a ponytail after getting back to Soobin’s place.

“What if I look dumb.” Beomgyu pouts, though he slowly melts into the touch as usual.

“You won’t—and it’s only me here, baby.” Soobin says, running his fingers through Beomgyu’s hair affectionately.

“Why are you doing this at 2am again?” Beomgyu questions, tipping his head back to look up at Soobin with puffed cheeks.

“I wanna see how cute you look.” Soobin says, nudging Beomgyu’s head back down so he can continue doing his hair.

“Your hair’s so soft.” Soobin compliments after a moment, almost abandoning tying up Beomgyu’s hair just to play with it instead. He does that for just a minute only though, Beomgyu sighing beneath his hands as he plays with his hair.

Soobin smiles, Beomgyu becomes pliant enough for him to finish doing his hair. Finally he gets Beomgyu’s hair tied up in the cutest of ways.

“I knew you would look good with your hair up.” Soobin says, playing with the fluffy ponytail. “You’re so attractive like this.”

“Really?” Beomgyu questions before getting up to look in the mirror, Soobin trailing behind him.

Beomgyu gasps once he looks in the mirror, eagerly spinning around to look at his hair. “I look so pretty!” He exclaims, a big smile on his face. “I really look so pretty.”

“Mhmm, I told you you would, idiot.” Soobin says as he throws his arms over Beomgyu’s shoulders and rests his chin on his head. “My pretty Beomgyu.”

—

Beomgyu happily throws on some of Soobin’s clothes before he crawls into bed next to Soobin. He always likes the smell and size of them. He also knows just how much Soobin loves it when he wears his clothes, so he makes sure to conveniently forget his own pajamas as much as he can.

As if on command, Soobin tugs him into his arms and showers him with chaste kisses. Beomgyu giggles beneath his hold, Soobin pressing kisses all over his face and any exposed skin that he can find.

“You’re too adorable like this!” Soobin exclaims, moving to tickle Beomgyu’s sides. Beomgyu yelps out at that, laughing uncontrollably and kicking his feet as Soobin attacks him with both kisses and tickles.

Soobin stops after a few minutes when Beomgyu starts gasping for breath, almost unable to breathe from all the inescapable tickling.

“You almost killed me!” Beomgyu laughs, a wide smile on his face as he pants for breath, his stomach hurting from all the laughing.

“Maybe that was my plan.” Soobin says, leaning to kiss up Beomgyu’s collarbone. “I’ll smother you in love.”

“I honestly wouldn’t mind dying that way.”

“I know.”

“Wanna go stargazing tomorrow.” Beomgyu asks after a moment as they lay in silence, Soobin holding Beomgyu tight in his arms.

“What about practice?”

“Bun, you’ve been overworking yourself for years—I think you can afford a few days off.” Beomgyu reasons, nuzzling his face against Soobin’s face. “Please?”

“Okay…fine…” Soobin whispers, giving into Beomgyu. “Thank you by the way…for the date and all this. I had a lot of fun tonight.”

“Of course, doll. I did too.”

“So another date tomorrow night?”

“Yep!”

—

Despite how late it was when they got home, Beomgyu and Soobin end up talking for hours into the night until they’re both yawning and half asleep.

It’s pleasant, both of them slowly sharing everything about themselves to the other all while cuddling together all night long.

It’s been awhile since Beomgyu’s gotten so close to someone like this and the first time he’s felt completely loved by someone.

The same goes for Soobin. He hasn’t opened up to anyone since his mom died, giving himself to skating and only skating.

Finally they can both rest.

“Beomgyu…?” Soobin calls out as they lay in silence, both their eyes heavy and conversation since going silent in their sleepiness.

“Hmm?” Beomgyu hums sleepily, turning to face Soobin.

Soobin bites down nervously on his lip, his heart pounding in his chest as plays with Beomgyu’s hand. “Uh…um…” He tries but the words get stuck in his throat, a wave of anxiety rolling over him.

Beomgyu looks at him with soft eyes, gently rubbing his thumb over Soobin’s hand as he waits for the older to find his words. Somehow, that calms Soobin, the feeling of their hands together helping ease up his worries.

Soobin sighs, letting out a heavy exhale as he manages to calm himself.

“W—will you…will you be my boyfriend…?” Soobin finally manages to choke out, his sleepy brain unable to wait until morning to ask.

He’s never usually this nervous about things, but with Beomgyu things are always a little more overwhelming. Maybe it’s because of how much he likes the hockey player and how he’s let himself be so vulnerable around him. Nonetheless, he knows he’s in love with Beomgyu and doesn’t want to lose him any time soon.

Beomgyu stares at him more awake now, his mouth slightly agape and eyes wide as he processes what Soobin just asked him. He stays silent in his shock, which definitely doesn’t help with Soobin’s minor panic.

“I mean—maybe I read this all wrong and you didn’t want anything more then what we have no—“

“—Bun…” Beomgyu smiles, tightening his hold on Soobin’s hand as he leans forward to press their foreheads together. “Now you’re worrying like me…of course I want to be your boyfriend.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Soobin kisses him long and deep after that, a silent gesture of his love in their sleepiness. It’s not rushed or desperate like the other times though. Instead, they kiss slowly with gentle fervour. They both know now that they’ll have each other for a very long time. They don’t need to kiss with such desperation because they have all of eternity for that.

“So we’re boyfriends now.” Beomgyu giggles against Soobin’s mouth after a moment.

Soobin presses a kiss to the corner of his lips, “yeah, we are.”

“Finally. I’ve been wanting to call you mine forever now—“ Beomgyu lets out a heavy sigh as Soobin tugs on his bottom lip, a smirk pressed up on his lips.

“I like having you as mine too.” Soobin says as he kisses Beomgyu again, his movements becoming increasingly sleepy as they minutes tick by.

Beomgyu smiles, pressing in for one last kiss as his eyes become too heavy to keep open. “I’m yours forever now, baby doll.” He whispers before happily drifting off in Soobin’s arms.

—

The next few weeks pass by rather quickly, Beomgyu finally being forced into looking for a job by Yeonjun much to his protest. He knows he has to though, he very much needs money and can’t be living with Yeonjun for free forever. It’s still annoying and difficult though, but until he hopefully gets drafted in hockey, he’ll have to suffer with a part time job.

“Why does no one want me?” Beomgyu complains as flops down on Yeonjun’s bed after another day of failing to even get an interview.

“You have to be patient, Beom. It doesn’t just happen instantly.” Yeonjun says, handing him some gummies.

Beomgyu huffs, taking a handful of gummies as he lays back in defeat. He chews them loudly, thinking hard before he finally speaks up again.

“I’m dating Soobin.” Beomgyu blurts out suddenly, Yeonjun freezing next to him.

“You’re—you’re what?! And you didn’t tell me!” Yeonjun exclaims, gaping at Beomgyu.

“It only happened a few weeks ago.” Beomgyu mutters, feeling a little shy to finally be saying it out loud. “But yeah…we’re finally boyfriends.” He can’t help but smile as he says it, a giddy feeling in his chest as he realizes that this is all very real and that Soobin is his boyfriend. He hasn’t been this happy in awhile…not for years.

Yeonjun looks at Beomgyu softly, a fond expression on his face as he notices Beomgyu’s little smile after saying it out loud. “You deserve this…you really deserve him.” He says, ruffling Beomgyu’s hair. “I like seeing you happy like this.”

“Yeah…I’m really happy.” Beomgyu whispers, his mind flashing with all his warm memories with Soobin. “But do you think I really deserve him…?” Beomgyu asks hesitantly. “Am I good enough?”

“More than enough.” Yeonjun assures. “Taehyun has told me and Kai enough times how happy Soobin is these days and how much he talks about you.”

Beomgyu blushes, perking up at that information. “Really?” He’ll have to ask them one time what Soobin says about him.

“Mhmm. So stop worrying now, okay? You’re both perfect for each other.” Yeonjun says, Beomgyu nodding along. “Now tell me all the details of you two finally becoming boyfriends.”

“Oh my god.”

“Don’t think you’re getting out of this after weeks of not telling me!”

—

“What’s it like dating Beomgyu?” Kai asks one day as he and Taehyun lay with Soobin one night at Soobin’s house. He’s gotten over the earlier awkwardness with Kai now after what had transpired one night, both of them completely moved on now with their own boyfriends.

“Hmm—at times he’s like a hurricane, but other times he’s just like a calm rainstorm.” Soobin says, unsure of how to really explain Beomgyu.

“That’s a weird way to describe someone.” Taehyun laughs, his eyes curious. He’s managed to get more details from Soobin about Beomgyu now, becoming more understanding of Beomgyu now.

Soobin shrugs, “it feels like a fitting description. I can’t explain why, but it just does.”

“Yeah! Just like Taehyun’s Yeonjun and I’s little meow meow!”

“Kai I swear to god!” Taehyun yelps, moving to tackle Kai against the couch.

Soobin snorts, unable to hold back his laughter as Taehyun flushes and glares at his boyfriend. “You’re what…?”

“Nothing!”

—

“Soobin! I got a job! I did it! I did it“ Beomgyu screams as he runs into the arena and jumps on Soobin.

Soobin lets out a yelp when Beomgyu barrels into him, his arms instinctively wrapping around the smaller boy.

“I did it!” Beomgyu yells again, grinning widely up at Soobin, his eyes shining with excitement.

“Really?” Soobin blinks, the words slowly registering in his mind. “Baby I’m so happy for you!” He gasps out when he fully realizes, immediate happiness flowing through him.

“I finally got a job.” Beomgyu says again, hugging Soobin tightly. “What if I’m bad at it…?” He asks nervously after a moment, his prior excitement flickering.

“You’ll do amazing.” Soobin quickly reassures him, gently cardi through Beomgyu’s hair as he places a kiss on Beomgyu’s eyebrow. “And if you ever have bad days, I’ll be there to give you lots of kisses and hugs after, okay?

“Okay…”

“Now tell me about this job you dummy.”

—

“The arena has been closed for an hour—we’re going home now!” Beomgyu yells as he sits watching Soobin practice one night. “You have been practicing for too long tonight!”

“Put your skates on first.” Soobin yells back, skating laps around the rink and promptly ignoring Beomgyu’s complaints to leave.

Beomgyu rolls his eyes, but moves to grab his skates, unable to say no to Soobin.

Soobin skates over to him once Beomgyu has his skates tied on, a smirk on his lips.

“Beomgyu, will you skate with me?” Soobin asks, holding out his hand as he looks at Beomgyu with all the stars in his eyes.

Beomgyu smiles, happily taking Soobin’s hand. “Of course, doll.”

—

“Will you come to my competition tomorrow?” Soobin asks the following morning as he lays in bed with Beomgyu laying on his stomach.

“Of course! I’m never missing one again!” Beomgyu assures, rolling over to face Soobin. “Also you look so hot in your costumes—how could I miss that!”

“I’ll try to be extra pretty for you.” Soobin winks.

“You’ll still be the prettiest person out there even if you don’t try.”

—

Beomgyu settles himself in the stands next to Yeonjun, Taehyun and Kai, the 3 boyfriends cuddled up together. It almost makes him feel single but then he remembers he’s here to watch his bery talented and beautiful boyfriend, so he’ll be okay.

He’s definitely going to kiss Soobin stupid tonight, even if he doesn’t place, he’ll get just as many kisses all night long.

…

“Excited to see Soobin?” Yeonjun teases as Beomgyu sits a little impatiently as he waits for Soobin’s turn.

“Very.” He replies, uninterested in any figure skater that isn’t Soobin.

“He’ll be soon.” Taehyun assures. “Just wait a little longer.”

…

A few more skaters do their programs and Beomgyu decides that Soobin is definitely better than all of them.

And sure to his word, the moment Soobin comes onto the ice, he already outshines them all before even starting. Maybe Beomgyu’s biased, but Soobin definitely has all his attention and is by far the most beautiful skater tonight.

He gasps, leaning forward with round eyes as he watches Soobin skate around the rink before stopping in the middle.

Beomgyu can only stare in awe, Soobin looking so pretty in his costume as he stands there in his starting position.

The outfit reminds Beomgyu a lot of the feathers of a raven, but sparkly and a little more sharp. It’s all black and hugs Soobin's body in the most perfect of ways with a sheer part running down his chest that Beomgyu can only gape at.

He looks so breathtakingly beautiful, more than words can even describe. And when the music finally starts and he begins effortlessly gliding across the ice, Beomgyu falls in love with him all over again.

Beomgyu drowns out all the other sounds around him, only hearing the music as he focuses on Soobin and only Soobin.

Soobin skates around the ice like he’s one with it, jumping and spinning with the grace of someone that couldn’t possibly be human. He moves so gracefully, all his moves and expressions matching perfectly to the song that even Beomgyu’s heart aches.

While Soobin skates, Beomgyu becomes lost in a trance, not even noticing the song switch or the minutes passing by until it’s over.

Finally, Beomgyu falls out of his trance, though still a little dazed by Soobin’s beautiful performance.

“That’s my boyfriend!” Beomgyu suddenly screams out, not caring about the people who stare at him. “That’s my Soobin!”

Soobin glances up at him, his dimples popping as he gives a little smile as Beomgyu continues to shout from the stands.

Beomgyu knows at that moment that no matter what happens, Soobin will always be the best skater in his eyes.

—

As Beomgyu had guessed, Soobin easily places the highest and Beomgyu couldn’t be happier.

Afterwards, he runs through the crowds of people to find Soobin, pushing everyone aside until his eyes finally land on Soobin.

He immediately jumps onto Soobin, swinging around as he hugs him, both of them laughing.

“Bun! You were amazing!” Beomgyu exclaims, leaning forward to press a kiss to Soobin’s lips. “You look so pretty too.” He mumbles in between kisses, his hands sliding around Soobin’s tiny waist.

“I didn’t even practice as much as usual and I still won too!” Soobin says, his eyes sparkling with all the glittery makeup. “Thank you for that by the way.”

“I told you…you’re still the best no matter what.”

“Yeah…all thanks to you.”

“No way! That was all you out there, doll!” Beomgyu exclaims. “You were literally better then everyone.”

“Hey—the other skaters were good too.”

“Maybe, but no one is touching you anytime soon.”

Soobin smiles, “yeah, you’re right.”

—

“My feet hurt.” Soobin pouts as they stand outside Soobin’s apartment building. “Carry me up, baby.”

Beomgyu raises an eyebrow, easily picking up a giggling Soobin and holding him bridal style.

It’s almost like that night all that time ago when Beomgyu had to drive Soobin home and help him up to his place after overworking himself. But this time he’ll be staying and won’t let Soobin hurt himself like that ever again.

Soobin flops down onto his bed, already having showered at the rink. He lets out a heavy sigh as Beomgyu lays on top of him.

“Did I tell you how good you did today?” Beomgyu whispers against the back of Soobin’s neck as he lays on him.

“You did.” Soobin mumbles beneath him.

“Good.”

—

Beomgyu sits himself down on Soobin’s lap as soon as Soobin settles down to watch a movie with him later that night.

“Yah—what are you doing?” Soobin complains as Beomgyu blocks his view of the t.v.

“You’re comfy.” Beomgyu huffs, shifting into Soobin’s lap.

“Yes but I can’t see.”

“That sucks.” Beomgyu says, not making any attempts to move even in the slightest.

Soobin sighs, snaking his hands around Beomgyu’s waist and squeezing. Beomgyu yelps out at that, but he still doesn’t get off of Soobin.

When that doesn’t work, Soobin instead presses a line of wet kisses down the back of Beomgyu’s neck. Beomgyu definitely squirms this time, letting out a tiny shriek as he tries to escape while Soobin tightly holds him in place.

“You should’ve moved earlier, baby.” Soobin smirks as he leans over to bite the side of Beomgyu’s neck.

“Ow!” Beomgyu hisses, desperately struggling as Soobin tightly holds onto his waist. “Okay! I get it, baby doll! Let me go, you heathen!” Soobin finally lets go at that, Beomgyu flopping onto the rest of the couch and out of Soobin’s death grip.

He breathes heavily before rolling back over and crawling back over to Soobin. He lays his head on Soobin’s thighs, peeking up at him with big eyes and blushed cheeks. “Can I lay like this at least.” He asks cutely, pushing his lips forward.

“Yeah, this works.” Soobin says as he mindlessly strokes Beomgyu's hair, both of them content now.

“Good,” Beomgyu smiles, shifting to face the t.v as Soobin continues playing with his hair. “Put on the movie now.”

“Gladly.”

—

A few hours later, they start to get ready for bed together like usual. Beomgyu brushes his teeth next to Soobin, now keeping a toothbrush here since he stays over almost every night.

Really, he likes staying with Soobin because those are the nights he sleeps best and he likes the figure skaters company more than anything else. Rarely does he get as many nightmares when he sleeps nuzzled up against Soobin, and the same goes for Soobin too.

Apparently they both help each other more than they initially thought they would.

Despite that, Beomgyu still can’t help but feel like he’s overstepping and a burden. In the back of his mind those worries linger even though he knows Soobin likes having him here, but he still can’t shake those thoughts away.

“You know…you can tell me if you don’t want to stay over this much.” Beomgyu says suddenly after he finishes brushing his teeth, voicing his worry rather than hiding it any longer. “I’m almost here every night and—“ Soobin presses his finger to Beomgyu’s mouth, silencing his words before he can continue.

Beomgyu blinks up at him, Soobin’s gentle eyes meeting his with so much warmth that Beomgyu almost cries. That in itself is almost enough to stamp down Beomgyu’s worry.

“Beomgyu, baby…do you know how lonely I was before you?” Soobin says after a moment, tracing his finger over Beomgyu’s lips delicately. “I want you here, okay? I like being with you so much…” He assures Beomgyu before pulling him into a hug.

“I know…I just feel like a burden sometimes.” Beomgyu admits, burying his face into the crook of Soobin’s neck.

“Well, if you’re a burden, you’re the best burden that could’ve ever happened to me.” Soobin says, kissing Beomgyu’s hair. “And I’m as much of a burden to you, as you are to me. So it works.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Beomgyu giggles, thinking back to how he’s been helping Soobin not overwork himself these past few weeks.

“I’ll never leave you, okay? You have me now and I’m promising you forever…” Soobin whispers.

“I love you, doll.” Beomgyu mumbles before he can stop himself. His hands instantly fly up to cover his mouth as he stands in shock, his face bright red from the accidental words he let slip out. “I’m sorry—that just—“

“—I love you too.” Soobin breathes, already pressing his lips to Beomgyu’s. “So much.”