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Stonks has started a new group chat!
Stonks has invited Sasha James and Martin Blackwood.
Stonks has renamed the chat “epic huge archive groupchat”
Martin Blackwood: Tim, there’s three people
Sasha James: yeah not exactly epic huge :/
Stonks: how DARE you doubt my genius
Stonks: anyway we have a group chat now
Stonks: Listing some rules right off the bat:
Stonks: 1) No lame names
Sasha James: Way ahead of you
Sasha James has changed their name to James Bond.
Stonks: Acceptable. Martin
Martin Blackwood:
What?
Stonks:
rule One
Martin Blackwood: oh cmon im really not that creative
Martin Blackwood: uhhh
James Bond: tim give me god powers in the chat please?
Stonks: sasha james assigned nickname marto
Stonks: better be proud
Stonks has given James Bond admin privileges!
James Bond: ta
James Bond has changed Martin Blackwood’s nickname to Workplace Fav.
Stonks: SASHA BARNABY JAMES
James Bond: >:)
Stonks: you used my gift AGAINST ME /lh
Workplace Fav: oh sasha
Workplace Fav: thanks but I don’t know how much it applies??
Stonks: >:O
James Bond: >:O
Workplace Fav: what?
Workplace Fav: It doesn’t!
Stonks: Martin you bring us tea every morning!
James Bond: You’re the most fun person to follow up a case with!
Stonks: I resent that statement
James Bond: risky and illegal isn’t fun, Tim
Stonks: yes it is
James Bond: mm. A little. But it’s mostly nerve wracking while Martin’s follow ups are very pleasant and we usually get lunch afterwards
Stonks: ah fair
Workplace Fav: you guys know what I mean
Stonks: mm. I do not
Workplace Fav: Just because 2 of 3 think i’m the favorite doesn’t mean i’m the favorite.
James Bond: yes it does, that’s how majorities work
Stonks: And Jon is a grumpy loser who doesn’t understand the first thing about being a good coworker so :^)
James Bond: don’t give the smiley a nose.
Workplace Fav: No but hes the boss so his vote counts more? I think?
Stonks: they deserve noses, sash
Stonks: and thats not democracy! Jon doesn’t get more of a vote cause he’s our boss I think he should get less of one actually
Stonks: But now that were on the subject of our boss you reminded me of something sash
Stonks: You remember when Jon and I were in research together?
James Bond: yea vaguely
Stonks: You think MY follow ups are risky and illegal
Stonks: holy shit
Workplace Fav: what, Jon broke the law? No way
James Bond: yeah i don’t think there’s a fiber of crime in that walking corduroy
Stonks: you wouldn’t BELIEVE IT
Stonks: I remember the harbor case like it was yesterday, gregory harbor
Stonks: story time, children
Workplace Fav: ooh story
James Bond: this is gonna be good
James Bond: my god he’s been typing for a whole minute
Stonks: we had to get into a warehouse, and it was locked but Jon was determined to finish this research THAT DAY. I offered to call the people who owned it but he said no and we shouldn’t bother them. So I had a bobby pin in my jacket, not that I even know how to pick a lock but I was more than willing to try. The thing is he was still a little beige librarian teachers pet in research so I was less than eager to suggest it because I thought he’d have a heart attack or something. I’m all ready to suggest we go back and try again if he doesn’t wanna call the company that owns the warehouse when this lanky little man claps his hands together and goes “well, looks like we go up” and STARTS CLIMBING UP THE FENCE
Workplace Fav: what?
James Bond: thats insane no way
Stonks: no no heres the kicker!
Stonks: he got up there and back down the other side in like half a second
Stonks: man has calves of fucking STEEL apparently
Workplace Fav: h
Workplace Fav: that cant be real
Stonks: whats up hm?
Stonks: you thinkin abt something marto?
Workplace Fav: Tim,
Stonks: maybe
Stonks: thos calves?
Workplace Fav: TIM,
James Bond: Stop Tim he’s already broken
Workplace Fav: sasha youre not helping
Stonks: aw ok ok, we’ll get off your back abt it
Stonks: for now ;^)
James Bond: please, winky faces hit differently when you give them noses
Stonks: I will not deprive them of smell
James Bond: what do they even need to smell
Stonks: ;^)
James Bond has changed Stonk’s nickname to Insufferable
Insufferable: aw thanks babe
Insufferable: ahh I just got yelled at to get back to work by boss
James Bond: biphobic
Insufferable: The most biphobic man I have ever met
Workplace Fav: guys
Insufferable: don’t deny Martin this is violent biphobia. I need to talk to HR about this insane biphobia i’m experiencing right now. Its morale crushing
James Bond: we do have a lot of work to get done
Insufferable: yea yea im just trying to get my Friend Fill before I start it
Insufferable: Marto, lunch today with me and sash, i’m paying, you in?
Workplace Fav: sure!
Insufferable: epic huge archive lunch date