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He didn’t stop when Dice kissed him by the front door. No, he quite liked that once he recovered from the initial shock. Dice’s lips are soft and experienced and it was incredibly gentle until Gentaro let out that breathy little noise.
He didn’t stop when that spurred Dice on to be a bit more aggressive, nipping at Gentaro’s bottom lip and swiping his tongue into his mouth.
He didn’t stop when they started to stumble through Gentaro’s apartment, arms draped over each other touching and grabbing. Not quite in a suggestive way, but certainly in a possessive way.
He didnt stop when Dice pushed him against the wall outside his bedroom. Bodies pressed together, only broken for a moment for Dice to shed his jacket onto the hallway floor, Gentaro would have to remember to reprimand him for that later. Gentaro’s hands gripped Dice’s biceps and the later wrapped his arms around the author’s waist.
He didn’t even stop when Dice finally dragged him into the bedroom, pushing him down onto his bed before crawling over top of him.
No, it took the fastenings of his hakama falling open, kosode tugged apart, the buttons of his shirt being undone, Dice’s shirt falling to the floor, and the sound of the gambler fumbling with his own belt as he straddles Gentaro for the author to stop.
Wait.
“Wait,” he says as much.
Dice fixes him with a confused look, halting his movements.
Gentaro realizes then how breathless he’s gotten, how fuzzy his brain feels. Dice lowers his hands, waiting patiently for once.
Gentaro licks his lips, “What are we doing?”
“Um, having sex?” Gentaro must be making a face himself because Dice’s expression twists into something more akin to concern, “Or not?”
Were they?
“I—“ Well, shit. He’s backed himself into a rather embarrassing corner it seems. He probably should have noticed much sooner what all of this was leading up to.
He could lie. He could say it was a jest, let Dice do whatever he wants. Maybe he wants Dice to do whatever he wants. He could pretend this isn’t new to him, that he’s done this before and has no qualms doing it again.
“Gentaro?”
His throat feels dry and it’s then he notices how fast his heart is beating, how hard he’s gripping one of Dice’s thighs, how constricting his underwear suddenly feels. His eyes are unfocused but Dice’s face above him is filled with concern, strong hands holding Gentaro’s waist. For once he feels lying would be unfair.
“We don’t have to, I just thought you’d wanna.”
Does he? Oh, he should speak.
“I, um,” Gentaro starts shakily, “It’s not that.”
Dice cocks his head to the side, giving the man below him a curious look.
“I’m...” Gentaro averts his gaze, suddenly feeling the crushing weight of embarrassment at the thought of saying the next few words, “I mean to say I, well, haven’t done... this, before.”
He doesn’t bother looking up. He knows hes about to be laughed at and he can only—
“Oh, that’s okay.”
...
“It’s still up to you, I’m not sayin’ that like uh, ‘oh that’s ok just means I get to take your virginity’, I just mean it’s not bad or nothin’. We can stop for real.”
Gentaro’s ears burn. What is he? A vestal virgin? And how is Dice playing this off so cooly?
He summons every ounce of courage in his body to reply, “N-no, we can. I want to,” he clears his throat, “Keep going, I mean.”
Dice searches his face, “You’re sure?”
A nervous, breathy laugh involuntarily escapes Gentaro’s lips. His grip on Dice’s thighs loosens and instead his palms smooth over the torn fabric of the wayward gambler’s jeans. The nervous beating of his heart melts into something he’s unfamiliar with... Perhaps affection? Perhaps he’s in over his head, more so than he’d thought when this little dalliance began. Oh dear.
“No,”
Dice’s hands start to slip away and he opens his mouth to speak, but Gentaro is quick to cut him off,
“But if it’s with you? I think I’ll be okay.”