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Summary
From the prompt:
AU where Matt and Foggy never met. Matt does something that inadvertently pisses Mike off. Mike slips into the men's toilets and writes on the wall, "If you're looking for a good time, call Matt at XXX-XXX-XXXX". Foggy calls the number.
But Foggy just needs to vent, not sexy things. He hopes someone on the other end of the line will listen to him about how his workplace sucks and everyone's a shark.
Everything spirals from there.