Chapter 1: 1
Notes:
HIII! This is my first time using AO3, I’m not too sure how it works just yet, still finding my way, this story is originally posted on Wattpad but it seems I should also post it on here!
This work still needs to be edited with the correct italics to be how I would prefer it but other than that it is fine to read. Please comment and let me know what you think!
Chapter Text
PROLOGUE
Eden Stark has had a different life to most girls her age, at 26 she has known wealth, happiness, friendship, and yet she has known loss. She is herself lost in this world, but surrounded by Avengers, her father even being one of them, what should be considered amazing, what thousands would dream of, she acts out.
For the last six months she has spent her time drinking, taking drugs, sleeping around, being an issue any way she can, reunited with a father who she does not know, she becomes another person for him to watch over, to handle, to take care of, to worry about.
Despite building friendships with some of those around her, her loss weighs deep on her heart, she'll distract herself with any means necessary. Eden does what she wants, she has new friends, a new place to live, she has options, and yet she chooses disruption.
My head is pounding, my feet aching as the gravel stab at my bare feet.
***
I walk through the door to the grounds getting the usual looks from my dads friends and employees, I swing my heels in my hand and throw them each a sarcastic grin as they roll their eyes back at me.
I know what they're all thinking, and it amuses me to know they do nothing to confront my father, only one man who isn't in my family has ever been able to get me to listen to him, Steve, he even encourages my bad behaviour to a point.
When I reach the front door it's Steve who is waiting for me, instead of looking at me in disgust he rolls his eyes and laughs at me as I walk in the front door.
"And where have you been all night?" He smirks at me and fakes a concerned voice.
"Wouldn't you like to know!" I giggle back and wander to the kitchen where I find Peter sat reading something in the nook by the window.
Now there's many people in the compound I have come to know and be friends with, Peter is by far the best, he looks up from his book and eyes my attire and laughs to himself, "guy or girl?"
"Both" I smirk and he laughs and shakes his head, I shrug and laugh with him as I pull open one of the cupboards and eye over what to eat.
"You better change before you see Mr Stark, that dress will get you shouted at."
My dads idea of his perfect daughter is long gone and I ignore Peters comment as I reach for the bread and grab the butter from the fridge.
"What the hell is that Nat?"
I turn to the door to see Natasha with a small bag in her hands, blood dripping on the floor and over her palms. Nat looks at me and gives Peter a stern look, "Someone lost a finger in training, I'll be right back"
Nat disappears and then reappears in the kitchen just as I'm buttering my toast and gives me a hip bump. "You look like hell, girl." She grins and takes a piece of toast from my plate.
"Yeah well I didn't sleep much.." I smirk as I sit myself on the counter and take a bite of my food. Nat and Peter exchange a knowing glance, they're well used to my behaviour now. Although I know they hate it, they know that I need to be reckless, everything else they've tried didn't help me.
My mother's face flashes in my mind and I feel my throat swell. This is why I drink, take drugs, sleep around, I tell myself, her face isn't there when I'm distracted.
My dads friends mumbling to each other is my queue to leave the room. I am not in the mood to hear the shit they've been doing in my absence.
I walk into the hall to find my dad and Steve's backs to me talking to someone who's face I don't bother to look at, it's never anyone I need to bother myself with. Instead I turn right and press the elevator button.
"Eden!" I scrunch up my face, I was hoping to avoid him. I turn around and look at my father, Tony, to Steve and then to the face of the guy stood in front of them.
He's good looking, really good looking, his hair is long and he has a beard that frames his face, and.. a metal arm, black and gold, I try my best not to stare. If I wasn't ridiculously attracted to him I'd almost find him intimidating. He's looking at me with deep blue eyes that are almost mesmerizing and wears a stern expression as he takes a deep breath and looks me up and down, that tells me one thing, he's my newly appointed keeper.
My dad eyes my outfit and motions for me to join them, I pad over and look up at Steve's grin, "have you got me a new toy Tony?" I smirk at my father who I know has already had enough of my shit at only 11am.
"This is Sargent James Buchanan Barnes" "Bucky!" Steve interrupts.
"He owes me, trying to get in my good books," Tony looks at the metal armed man and back at me, "he's going to be keeping an eye on you, since no one else I assigned to watch you worked out, I thought I'd employ a super soldier. So, wherever you go, he goes, no more of this Eden, it's gone on long enough, look at yourself!" He gestures to all of me and I roll my eyes.
I've heard this same shit many times in the last six months since my mum died, I know my dad hates how I'm being but I can't help it, I can't help the burning in my chest that makes me want to just piss my dad off even more.
"In that case, why don't you come join me in the shower, Bucky?" I don't take my eyes off my father for a second and the disappointment is evident in his eyes, but instead he stands with his nostrils flaring and breathes low as he turns to Bucky, "Steve said you are a good man, he's vouching for you, I know you'll listen to instruction and follow through on doing a great job of handling my lovely daughter." He looks me up and down and then raises his eyebrows at Bucky.
"And handling it will certainly be." He fakes a smile and turns on his heels back to his office.
Steve puts a hand on my shoulder, "play nice." He chuckles as he walks away from Bucky and I.
I hear him laugh to himself as he walks to the kitchen and I know he's looking forward to how this plays out.
"Well.. Bucky. Are you coming to join me?" I turn for the elevator and I hear him follow me, we stand in silence as the lift goes up a floor but as I reach my door and enter my room he grabs the handle and smiles at me "I'll be waiting out here, I won't play games with you Eden. I'm here to do a job, I need to pay a debt to your father, I plan to do my job well, I won't put up with any nonsense from you." Bold. But I'm impressed he isn't like the other keepers my father has appointed me, it was evident they'd be easy to crack, but I don't get that impression now, those men were just hired help, this guy seems more serious.
He raises his eyebrows and waits for me to reply, I stare into his eyes and reach my hands behind my back and unzip myself, not dropping my eyes from his as I let the fabric pool at my feet.
Bucky looks down at my naked body so fast I almost miss it before meeting my eyes back with his own and quickly shutting the door between us.
I smile to myself and head to my bathroom, "game on."
Chapter Text
As I dry my hair in the mirror I consider my options, none of my previous keepers have reacted to my signature stunt how Bucky did, he looked but he wasn't visibly nervous, he didn't come onto me, it's a first, and it makes me curious how far I can push him, my last keeper lasted a whole month before he had enough of me, the longest overall, that was until he found me naked in his bed and couldn't resist me any longer. He tried his best, he'd seen me naked many times, but I know how to use it to my advantage. It seems that may not sway my new pal Bucky.
"Where are you going?" His voice is behind me as I leave my room and head down the hallway to the lift.
"Out!" I say back, Buckys footsteps behind me.
He puts his hand on my shoulder as we reach the lift and I turn to face him, "you're staying in today doll."
Bucky flashes me a smile and I feel the heat rise in my stomach, damn he really is attractive, a lot more attractive than the others. I bite my lip and roll my eyes, if he thinks I'm actually listening to him he's in for a shock.
"That is where you're wrong, I have a party to get to." Giving him a fake smile I turn on my heels and reach for the button but suddenly my body is lifted from under me and I'm suddenly being tossed over Bucky's shoulder, I feel the cold metal on my skin.
Put me down are you crazy?!" I try to get to my feet but he has a strong grip on my legs.
"Come on doll, we're staying in today." He carries me back along the hall into my room and plops me on my bed.
What is with this pet name? "I'm no doll, and you don't get to tell me what to do."
He smirks and I notice the creases at his eyes, he bends down and leans on his hands either side of me, his face close to mine, "that's exactly what I get to do."
Buckys eyes look directly into mine and I lick my lips and eye him up and down, tilting my head slightly I frown at him, "but then what else can I do today?" I stroke my nails up his real arm and I wait for a reaction.
Nothing.
Bucky laughs slightly and stands straight, "I'll be in the hall."
And with that he's out my room without looking back, but being new, there's something vital he doesn't know yet, I leave this place via my bedroom more than anywhere else in the compound, forever grateful I'm only on the second floor of the building.
I grab my bag and take off my heels, quietly open my window and climb onto the roof below before climbing down to the gravel and putting on my heels. One of my dads staff whose name I've never bothered to remember mumbles to himself as he sees me turn the front corner of the building and I know I need to be quick getting through the gates.
"Eden, come here!" Buckys voice echos through the courtyard as I reach the gates and slip through and into my friends waiting car.
"Oh who is HE!" Frankie eyes up the man running towards us before driving away from the compound before he can reach us. She knows better than to linger.
We pull up to the party and I grab my phone from my purse, three missed calls from an unknown number, I only need one guess, Bucky.
I pull up a blank message and type out something I hope will get his attention. 'Come find me.'
I set my bag and phone down in the kitchen as we get in Frankies house and grab a drink, the entire downstairs is full of people and music is blaring loud.
In the crowd I spot one of my recent conquests and as we make eye contact I call him over, he sits down and I grab his face and pull him towards me, crashing my lips against his, still barely remembering his name, anything to distract me from the thoughts of my dead mother pounding in my head.
An hour later and I'm looking for Frankie, nothing. Even out in the garden I can't spot her, maybe she's took someone upstairs? Maybe I should've done that, and yet today I just didn't feel like it.
Although she's just as destructive as me, I know she's also got limits, she knows when to stop, I however know when to stop and keep going. I also know that she's the reason Steve is so cool with what I do, Frankie is a new friend, one that I met just after my mum died when I arrived at the Avengers compound, she is also an undercover agent of shield, and she answers to Steve, that I'm pretty certain of.
As I grab another drink and look for someone else to occupy me my eyes meet the blue eyes of a man with long hair, a beard and a black and gold arm. Bucky.
And this is why I'm so sure of Frankie being an agent of shield in some way. They always find me.
"Eden." Buckys eyebrows raise as he greets me, I made this easy for him and I'm almost sure he knows that.
I smile up at him from my seat and put out my hand, he grabs it and pulls me to my feet. "Your dad needs you."
If he thinks I actually do anything my dad asks he has a lot to learn, and he needs to learn it fast.
Chapter Text
When we get back to the compound my dad is waiting in the kitchen with Steve, "we need to talk, Eden."
I roll my eyes and sit down at the table in front of the the pair of them, Bucky stands by the door.
"You've been here six months now, it's time you started putting in a little work, I know you're smart enough to do everything I do."
"And?"
"And you're wasting genius by acting out. You don't even spend any time with Morgan, she loves you!"
Guilt pulls at my heart, I love her too, but I look at her and I see how much she looks like my dad, and I'm reminded how he left my mum for hers.
"It isn't her fault you don't like me!" I hate how he does that.
Steve sighs and rests his arms on the table, "we're going to Krakow this weekend for a mission, we want you to come with us."
I contemplate it, but do I really want to do that? "What's in it for me?"
He smiles and I know exactly what's coming, "You get to spend time with Captain America!"
I can't help but laugh at the funny voice he does, but he knows I'm not convinced, my eyes go to Bucky by the door who's looking at me like I might disappear in a second, Steve clears his throat, "Bucky's coming."
His smile is sly, my dad seems curious by the direction Steve is taking this.
"And? As if you think that will convince me?"
"I know it will."
I look over to Bucky who's smirking at his friend and then he looks at me and shrugs with that a smirky pout on his face.
Fuck, "fine, but it's not for him. It's-" my dad and Steve both stand, good job, I had no other reason.
"So do I get to go back to my friends?" I stand in front of my smug body guard.
"No, you get to pack. And we have some things to do before we go." He leads me out of the kitchen and down the hall and down some stairs into a corridor I've not been in before, "this is the way to-"
"I know, you're gonna get suited up, your clothes won't protect you if you need it."
We walk into the room and I'm shocked, there's weapons lined on the walls, and suits of all the people in my dads avenger squad, Peter's spider suit, Steve's little costume, Clint's bows and the rest.
"Eden! It's about time!" Nat appears as if from nowhere and hands me a pile of clothes. "I've had these ready for months. It's about time you got your hands dirty!" She smiles at me and shoos Bucky away.
I try on the clothes in a side room that seems to be full of Nats things. The clothes look good, they don't cling to the wrong places which I dreaded, as confident as I can be, I can also be very insecure, I'm tall and I carry a little extra weight, the leather clothing Nat wears isn't really my style.
Nat smiles at me way too smugly as I walk out of her little dressing room.
"You look great, Bucky won't be able to take his eyes off you," I roll my eyes and walk over to the wall of guns, bows, knives and god knows what else.
"Shut up he wouldn't give me a second glance," I pause "and he's just doing his job!"
"Eden, he asked for the job."
I turn to face her, although she's my dads friend, Nat is closer to my age than his, she's been one of the closest people to me since I got here. "What do you mean?"
"He saw you a while back with your dad, you were arguing about one of the guys looking over you. He needed to get on Tony's good side, he owed him-"
I know she's said more than she should and for once I don't feel like pushing.
"He asked your dad for the job of protecting you."
"So he's doing it for Tony?" I'm confused, Nat made it seem like he wanted the job because of me.
Nat seems to think a while before she speaks again and by then Steve has joined us to prepare. He sees me and smiles "looking mission ready! Where's Bucky?"
I shrug, I'm surprised he didn't come in here with Steve.
Nat and Steve exchange a look between them, "Nat isn't coming with us at the weekend. It'll be us two and Bucky. That ok?"
My fingers glide along the string of a bow I've taken from the wall, "fine by me."
I know they're both hesitating saying something to me, I've learned very well by now that silence with these guys means nothing good.
"He saw the way you looked at your dad" I turn to Nat, confused.
Steve sits down on a bench in the middle of the room.
"Bucky had the serum like Steve, but the people he worked for were bad people, he was an assassin."
"An assassin is looking after me?" I can't help but laugh. "Am I that dangerous?" neither Steve or Nat laugh with me.
"So why did he ask for the job?" I put the bow back and sit myself on the floor in front of the pair of them.
Steve rubs his hands together, "you had no one but your dad and Morgan, we all knew you weren't going to take to Pepper-"
There's that guilt again.
"Bucky and I knew your grandparents, great people! But Bucky-" he's having real difficulty and it's bothering me.
"He killed my grandparents, that's what you guys are trying to say right?"
Steve and Nat look at each other shocked, "how do you know?"
I tap my finger against my nose and Nat finally laughs. "You hacked into the computers!"
"Of course I did, I know all your dirty little secrets, I found that little murderous story in two seconds on the shield files. James Buchanan Barnes, the winter soldier."
Steve looks at the door and I turn to see Bucky standing there, he's biting his lip and looking me dead in the eyes. He's waiting for me to react, they all are.
"I've seen the footage- if I misbehave, you gonna choke me too?" I smile and don't dare drop my eyes from his. He grinds his jaw then let's out a laughing breath.
"Everyone's done things they regret, and under the influence especially," I stand up and take one of the knives off the wall, I walk over to Bucky slowly with the knife in my hand, it's small and light weight but as I run my finger along the blade I cut my finger, as he stands in front of me, eyes glued on me, I put my finger to my tongue, the blood metallic in my mouth.
"Tell Tony you have no debt to pay to him, not on my behalf." I walk past him and head to my room. I hear the chatter of the three of them growing fainter as I walk away.
My bag has been packed for me and I can't be bothered to sneak out again, instead I change into something more comfortable and flop on my bed and grab my laptop, finding out a little more about these guys couldn't hurt.
I'm deep into Peters folders when I hear his voice down the corridor laughing with Morgan. If I make an effort with her, maybe my dad will get off my back a bit.
Closing my laptop and getting off my bed I go and follow the sounds of their laughter, when I reach them I see Peter and Morgan both hanging from webs he's formed from the ceiling and they're running forwards as far as they can before being sprung backwards and laughing all over again.
"Eden! Hi!" Peter goes red as he sees me in the door way and Morgan makes the greatest attempt of running towards me, the webbing pulls her back to Peter and she giggles.
"You guys having fun?" I walk over and help Morgan as she pulls to get out of the web. She laughs and grabs my face "can we get ice cream?"
She's so sweet, Pepper and my dad did a great job raising her. "Hell yeah, Peter you coming?"
Peter nods and quickly untangles himself and then makes quick work of untangling the mess I had made trying to free Morgan.
Once we're settled with some ice cream and a movie, Peter asks me about this weekends mission.
"I wish I didn't have a field trip, it would be so fun to go to Poland!"
I kinda wish he was coming too, I enjoy spending time with Peter despite the age difference between us.
"Y'know your dads really worried about you," he looks at Morgan laid on the floor kicking her feet behind her and checks she isn't listening, "I know you're 26, you can do what you want, but don't you wanna, yknow- be a grown up?"
I'm a little taken aback, how am I not a grown up? I frown at Peter and he starts talking fast, like he always does when he gets nervous.
"I mean obviously you are a grown up, you're old enough to drink and you have a house and everything else, and you choose to live here because you want to be with us and your family, but the partying, it's kinda high school isn't it? Like you could have any guy you wanted and you know that but you still just carry on doing things just to annoy Mr Stark and I know you're mad at him but he just wants the best for you."
I stare at the boy in front of me and he finally seems to take a breath, I don't know which part I want to respond to.
"Uh hi Bucky," Peter awkwardly continues eating his ice cream and looks back to the tv. I bite my lip and look up to Bucky as he sits beside me on the couch, he says nothing, just watches the movie in silence. I'm very aware of his presence, his metal arm almost touching mine, his hair is pushed back behind his ears, he's breathing steadily and he's well aware I'm looking at him, I'm sure of that.
When the movie finishes Morgan and Peter head off to find Pepper, myself and Bucky are left sat in silence.
"Are you okay?" He finally speaks, we both still look forward.
"Mhm, you?"
"I'm great."
"Great."
More silence.
"I'm not going to hurt you." What?
I look at Bucky but he's still facing forward. "I didn't think you would?" I'm confused, does he think I'm scared of him?
"When me and Steve were about your age, he lost his mum, he acted out too, I swear he went looking for trouble, and he was only about this big," he demonstrates about an inch between his fingers and laughs.
"I protected him cause I knew he'd get himself hurt, because he was hurt. I saw that same look in you, you wanted trouble, you wanted to get hurt- you want to get hurt" he corrects himself "because you're hurting."
I look at him, he's still looking forward. "You're doing all this to hurt your dad too!" He finally looks at me, "right?"
"No." Liar.
"Liar." He grins and I roll my eyes, "apparently my behaviour isn't very grown up according to Peter" I pick at my hands, thinking about what he had said.
"Spider boy? He's smart." He laughs quietly and I feel like I'm intruding on a personal joke. "Don't tell him I said that though!"
We sit in silence for a little longer, both facing forward, and as he finally gets up I realise that in those few minutes in silence with Bucky, I didn't think of my mum once.
Chapter Text
Friday rolls around fast, I wake up with a hangover from hell and the last thing I want to do is get on a flight to Poland, especially not with Bucky and Steve as my only company.
Once I'm showered and dressed I head to find my dad, he'd asked to see me yesterday but I went out and got drunk instead, much to Bucky's annoyance when he realised I'd slipped through his watchful gaze yet again.
He's in his workshop when I find him, tinkering on an old Iron Man suit.
"Hey, you wanted to talk to me?" I plop down in one of the chairs near his desk.
"I wanted to give you something, this is your first mission, I'm really proud of you Eden."
He hands me a small device that as I take in my hand it attaches around my wrist. I look at him in confusion and he taps part of the device still sitting in my hand, a few feet away a small case comes to life and reveals a bunch of knives and gadgets.
"You've had training with knives, you know how to use them, so use them, I want to know you're safe, even with Captain America" he laughs while imitating how Steve said the same thing the other day.
It's clear my dad has confidence in me, and yet I know he's worried too, he can fool everyone else but like Pepper, I see him clearly.
Maybe that's cause you're so alike? I shake my subconscious out my head.
"Steve won't let anything happen to me.." I tell him and myself, I won't admit it but I'm slightly worried too.
My eyes scan the contents of the case, I place the small button earphone like device in my ear and pick up a pair of glasses that are similar to his signature style and try them on, I hear a voice in my ear, very similar to Friday but different, "you can name her yourself, she'll do anything to help, that whole case is yours, it has everything you need" my dad smiles at me and gets back to tinkering.
I nod and take the case, lingering by the door before leaving, "thanks Tony."
Steve is waiting for me as I get back to my room, he's suited and ready and hands me a smoothie which he insists will cure my hangover.
"Bucky's preparing the jet, I hope you're a good flyer" he smiles as I finish the last of the green smoothie and he takes back the glass and grabs my larger bag for me, "you get changed and meet me downstairs."
Once changed I tap the button on the device on my hand, "hello Eden, what can I help you with?"
"I've decided what to name you. Blue."
"Great name Eden."
I smile and grab my other bag and head to meet Steve, he walks along side me to the hanger just outside the main building, Bucky is busy flicking switches and doing other bits when we board the jet, I've not seen him this morning surprisingly, I guess he's had other things to do.
"Buckle up," he says as he walks past me and closes the back door once we're all on board. He looks more tense that usual and considering how he went off at me once he found me yesterday that's certainly saying something. Apparently, I make things more difficult for myself, or so he told me as he carried me up to my room last night.
As Bucky and Steve take their seats at the controls, Bucky turns to me and smiles, "try not to be sick, we'll be going fast."
My stomach lurches at the thought, hoping the hangover smoothie from Steve doesn't reappear.
Bracing myself as we take off it isn't as bad as I expected and despite Bucky's little warning the speed doesn't seem any faster than a normal plane would. Steve unbuckles himself after a while and tells me I can do the same, he goes to the back of the jet and messes around with some bags and I go to the front and take his seat, being extra careful to not touch anything.
"Feeling okay?" Bucky asks as I look out the huge window at the clouds in front of us, I nod in response.
"Sorry for nearly puking on you last night," the words come out before I can stop them, "are you actually apologizing?" He smirks.
"I figure I can be a little less difficult" I roll my eyes and he laughs, I smile and laugh too.
Steve puts his hand on my shoulder and as I look at him he's smiling, "are you actually laughing? This is a world exclusive!" He fakes shock and winks at me as I shove him away from me.
"What exactly is this mission we're going on?"
"There's an exchange of a hydra prisoner, we think it's Banner, he's been off the grid for a while. Last seen in Poland three months ago." Steve looks at one of the screens in front of Bucky and frowns, "either way we're here to help release Banner or set whoever else free."
I look at Bucky who's eyes are fixed on the same screen as Steve, he's watching as a small jet has begun to follow us a few thousand feet above.
Buckys jaw is tense, his eyebrows pulled together, I know his history, I've done more research when I've had a spare minute and surely him going back to Hydra isn't a good idea?
I realise I'm biting my lip so hard it's beginning to bleed and stand and walk to the back of the jet to grab a drink. Steve follows and as I take a sip of water he reassures me of the thoughts I can't push away, "Shuri took that part of him away, he's okay."
I nod and sit in my original seat. I damn hope so.
"Steve!" Bucky shouts from the front as the jet begins to shake furiously, I snap on my belt and watch as Steve lurches forward and looks at the controls then to the window, the smaller jet is flying wildly around the front of our own jet.
The two men begin frantically taking manual control, Steve buckles himself in and I hold onto my seat as we swerve downwards and into the cloud line. "Hydra?" I ask but they ignore me, whispering between themselves.
In seconds we take a hit and my head smacks against a metal pole beside my head, I yell in pain and Bucky looks back to me, his eyes check me over "it was just the shock, I'm okay."
"We need to land, Eden don't do anything until I tell you to." Steve flicks a switch above him and we begin spiraling downwards, I close my eyes and hold on as it feels like everything in me might explode from the sudden drop the jet takes.
Steve and Bucky manage to control the landing and once I realise we're safe on the ground I open my eyes, there's many things I can do, but being a confident flyer is not one of them.
I unbuckle myself and Bucky is in front of me checking my head over, he turns to Steve and nods, they each grab things from their larger bags and each put on a backpack, instructing me to do the same with mine.
Bucky equips himself with multiple guns, I grab essentials of my own, packing knives in my belt and boots, I talk to Blue in my ear and she tells me we've landed in Poland, five miles from Krakow.
We exit the jet in line, Steve holds his shield in his arm and looks carefully around before he allows me to step off beside Bucky.
"We move quickly and quietly, you stay behind me, Bucky will take the rear, that jet landed somewhere close by, they're not friendly, you lose us you come back here and lock yourself in the jet, understand?" I nod.
Slowly we move forward, I hold a knife in either hand, my eyes snap left as I hear a branch snap, Steve doesn't seem concerned and after a second waiting for movement we step on.
I hear another snap on my left and this time as I look in the direction of the sound I catch movement from the corner of my eye, in a second it's gone but I know Bucky and Steve saw it too, we crouch down low and watch over the trees as we wait.
Nothing, Steve gestures to move on.
We reach the edge of the woods and Steve slows, he dips down quickly and we follow as the sound of a large truck zooms towards us along the road. Buckys breath behind me is reassuring, I turn to look at him, "you okay doll?" He whispers.
I nod and turn back to Steve, he motions for us to move on, we run along the tree line, Steve stopping every now and again as we crouch down and remove ourselves from the view of more passing trucks.
Once we start up again we begin moving fast, my eyes catch movement to the left, the same as before, I throw the knife in my right hand without a second thought and Bucky stops and grabs my arm, he looks at the direction I threw in. A man stands straining as he attempts to pull my knife from his chest, his gun still aimed towards us, Bucky smiles at me and raises his eyebrows, "impressive."
Steve stops a few meters in front and looks back for us, he turns to the man as he falls to his knees, Bucky approaches him slowly and quietly and takes the large gun from his hand, blood is spluttering from his mouth. "Hail Hydra." Bucky looks down at the man as he cracks a pill between his teeth and begins to froth at the mouth. I remove my knife from his chest and wipe it along the fabric on my leg.
Steve looks at me and frowns, as far as he's aware, my skills are limited to computers like my dad and a little self defense with knives, making a shot like that and in the company of two super soldiers who should've seen the man much sooner isn't what he'd expect, especially because he looks for remorse or regret on my face and I know he sees nothing, "we'll talk later, come on."
We continue along the road until we reach a compound of buildings surrounded by wire fences, men with guns and dogs walk the perimeter, others walk from building to building talking to one another, a large truck is being loaded and I know instantly that's what we're here for. Steve looks at Bucky and I as we're crouched beside him, eyeing up the perimeter and looking for where we'd have the most advantage.
I notice a small man in a lab coat running to the truck holding a clipboard, he steps inside out of view and is pushed back out with incredible force as his body lands on the pavement, guards scramble as a loud growl echos from inside the truck. I look at Steve, he's still watching carefully.
"That's Banner, right?"
"Yeah that's Banner." Bucky answers me and raises his eyebrows.
"How do we save him when he's all big and green? A little man can't make that noise!" Steve still says nothing, he's looking around, thinking.
"We take the truck." He finally speaks.
With the freaking Hulk inside is he crazy??
"Bucky those on the perimeter, we need them out the way, Eden those trucks are high tech, you need a finger print to start it, Bucky will get you in and you get it going, I'll meet you back at these gates." And with that he's ran back into the tree line and away from us.
My attention turns to Bucky, "let's see what else you can do with those knives."
He stands a little taller and looks at me as I do the same, "ready?" I nod.
Bucky shoots down two men before we step out into the road, another three by the time we reach the gate, shouts are heard as we run through and over to the truck. Bucky shooting wildly and making every shot, a man runs at us and my knife hits him in the neck, I pull it out as we continue to run forward and catch sight of a man Bucky hasn't noticed, he pulls his gun from his side and I throw my knife in his direction, it lands in his leg and he drops to his knees, Bucky looks to me and smiles before shooting the man down.
We reach the truck and I hop in the drivers seat, the tech is complex but I manage to get in quickly enough, "Bucky!" I hear the back doors closing and a growl from the back shakes the truck, I see two men running towards us in the passenger mirror, Caps shield flies at the back of one of their heads and the other is shot down by Bucky who quickly runs to the front and climbs in the passenger seat, Steve runs past us towards the gate as more hydra men appear. Bucky leans out the window and begins aiding his friend by shooting.
"Eden! Go!"
We race forward to the road, shots behind us shatter my side mirror, more growls from Banner as we reach the gate and Steve climbs in my place and drives us forward. My heart rises in my chest, that almost felt too easy. We fly forward along the road, Bucky checks and we aren't being followed but that isn't the biggest issue, we don't have any way of escape further than the road and with Banner in hulk form we can't safely fly with him even if he is a lot more stable these days.
I feel my heart pounding as a much larger truck pulls out in front of us from within the trees, it's coming directly at us at high speed and Steve quickly swerves out of its way and into the trees ourselves. Swerving in and out of the trees, Steve quickly loses the large truck as we maneuver through the trees with more ease.
Finally we stop and climb out, deep in the forest. Steve looks around and we follow him to the back doors of the van, I brace myself for what will most likely be an unwelcome meeting but as we edge the door open all we see is the curled up body of a very weak Bruce Banner, far from the man I first met when I arrived to the avengers compound six months ago, it was a brief meeting and only the once but he was a lovely, welcoming man who made me feel so at home straight away.
Steve climbs in the back and smashes the lock with the edge of his shield, Bruce looks up and the relief is evident in his face, "Cap?" He smiles at his friend who helps him to his feet. I look at Bucky stood beside me and he gives me a small smile.
"We need to find somewhere to lay low until we figure out how to get home," Steve helps Banner out the van and we begin walking in the direction Banner claims is the city, he says he has connections there and it's where he was before hydra managed to ambush him. That we'll be better on foot from here on.
I walk behind with Bucky as Steve and Banner walk in front, he needs no help keeping him up that's for sure. I hear faint chatter between the two and wonder if I should say something to Bucky.
Once we've been waking for around ten minutes, it's Bucky who finally speaks, "you did good back there."
I thank him and we're back to silence until he speaks again.
"I was worried I'd see someone I knew." I look at him and he fakes a laugh and looks embarrassed, something tells me he wouldn't say that to anyone else, even Steve.
"I was worried you would too." I say, and I mean it, it could've gone south very fast, we were lucky.
"Look at you, developing a heart, didn't take me long to bring some feelings to the surface." He nudges my arm with his own.
I roll my eyes and continue walking, "you wish, I just didn't have enough knives for all of them."
"Yeah since when can you do all that," he motions behind us and then pulls a knife from his belt and flicks it in his hand before putting it back and putting his hand back on the heavy gun he's still holding.
It's not exactly something I'm comfortable sharing with him, or Steve, I'm dreading him asking me about it. I continue walking, hoping with everything in me that like Buckys past, mine can be forgotten too.
Chapter Text
We reach a small village before the city and Banner tells us there's a bed and breakfast that we will be able to lay low in.
The building is small and I can't exactly see how they could fit more than two guest rooms in here, it seems I'm right because the woman tells us there's only one room available, the three men look at me and I shrug, it's not a big deal for one night.
The small polish lady shows us to a room that has a small double bed and an old red sofa. "If you three wanna snuggle I can take the couch?" I smile at the three men as Steve sets Banner down on the bed.
The poor man is exhausted and is almost instantly asleep. Steve tells us he's going to find us all something to eat and that we shouldn't leave under any circumstances, his eyes narrow on me when he says this.
"I'm reckless, not stupid!" I protest and pull the curtains closed until there's only a small gap to view the road. Bucky walks over to Steve and they mutter between themselves as I watch a small old car park up across the road and an old man gets out and enters a bakery in the building opposite.
The door closes and Bucky looks over Banner then sits down on the couch, he checks over his metal arm and tucks his hair behind his ears.
"So you gonna tell me where you learnt to throw like that?" He turns his head to me, he has that no bullshit face on.
I sit beside him on the couch, pulling my knees up and turning to face him. "Just cause your history is all over the shield database, I don't want mine out there." I give him a sarcastic grin and he bites his lip and gives me an unamused glare.
I look at Banner and Bucky shakes his head slightly, "he's out, he can't hear shit."
"Language! You're in the presence of a lady!"
"You're no lady" he laughs quietly and I can't help but join in.
I know he'll keep asking about it so I take a deep breath and begin to talk quietly.
"My mum raised me herself, her and Tony were a couple for a really short amount of time and he didn't want me at first, but my surname, it's still Stark, he sent money and gifts and cards and we had the occasional visit, but as he'll tell you himself, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist. I was basically a walking target to anyone who knew about me, so my mum got me in self defense classes, but they were expensive, 'my daddy is rich' classes" I roll my eyes "I knew who Nat was before I met her, my teacher was a black widow? Something like that? I don't know?" I shrug, "I learnt how to get very good with knives."
Bucky looks at me and leans forward towards me, his face closes in on mine as he puts his arm around my back. I hold my breath as he doesn't remove his eyes from mine and then he sits back and flips a knife in his hand, one of my knives he's taken from my belt.
I watch as he puts the knife on the table, "does your dad know?"
I shake my head, "I thought I could keep it from him, don't ask me why."
"Is that why you don't think you need someone watching over you?"
A laugh escapes me, surely he knows better than that? "Tony doesn't make you watch me because he thinks I'm helpless, you know that?" Bucky shrugs, "yeah, but is that why you think so?" He pokes my shoulder and I frown.
"I don't need anyone watching me because I'm 26 years old and I know what I'm doing."
Now Bucky really laughs, he quickly turns back to Banner and stifles his laughter, "you don't have a clue, Eden."
I frown again. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"If you knew what you were doing, you'd be doing this, working," he shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose, "getting drunk, partying like that, sleeping with a bunch of idiots, that's not you, you and I both know that."
I stand up and look out the gap in the curtains, the little car across the road is gone and the lights are off in the bakery. "I think before you claim to know what is me" I shake my hands to mock him, "you need to know me a lot better than this" I gesture between us.
Bucky stands up and closes the gap between us, he's taller than me, not by much, but enough that when he's close up to me I have to look up to him.
"Then stop being a brat," he smiles and pushes my hair off my shoulder "and let me."
A cough by the door makes Bucky step away, Steve holds up a bag of food and as we close the distance to him he hands us each a sandwich and then wakes Banner to join us to eat.
God knows the poor man needs food.
"You're brave waking a sleeping man," Banner jokes.
It takes me a while before I realise Steve has changed out of his Cap suit and is in regular clothes, I catch his eye and look him up and down, he kicks a bag under the table over to me, "I may owe some polish people some clothes off their lines," he pulls a face.
We all laugh and tuck into our food, it feels like days since we last ate.
Banner falls asleep again once he's eaten and I take advantage of the empty bed while the jolly green giant hogs the sofa. Steve takes a chair and places it by the window, "I'll take first watch." He sits down as the sky outside starts to darken. Bucky sits at the table still doing a cross word in a paper Steve had found.
"Isn't that in polish?" I ask and he shrugs, "you just gotta guess" he sticks his tongue out slightly as he scribbles on the paper.
Tiredness overwhelms me and I curl myself into a ball on top of the covers, I pull my hands up to my face and whisper to Blue, "Blue, where is Tony right now?"
"Mr Stark is eating ice cream and watching a movie with Morgan and Pepper." I smile to myself and close my eyes to sleep. I feel a weight flop on the bed beside me and I shuffle closer to the edge.
I hear Bucky snoring faintly in what seems like seconds and I slowly roll over to face him, he's laid on his back, his mouth slightly open, his metal arm is closest to me and a curious thought enters my brain, surely not?
Gently I poke the metal, nothing, I run my finger along one of the gold indents and I swear I catch him smile slightly but in the dark I convince myself I've imagined it and push myself back to the edge, still facing Bucky and burying my face in the pillow.
When I'm nudged awake by Bucky to take watch it's early morning, "I wasn't gonna wake you, but-" "it's fine" I get up and give him a small smile as I watch him flop on the bed beside Steve.
I take a seat at the chair by the window and look down the quiet road for any sign of life, nothing, it's still pretty dark out but my eyes don't have too much adjusting to do to focus on a man stumbling down the street with a bottle in his hand, I watch him reach a door and let himself in, the light in the front room flickers on and off twice, almost in a pattern? I shake it it out of my mind, I'm just being paranoid.
The blind in the upstairs window moves and I stand from the chair and take a step back, no one could possibly know where we are? I contemplate waking Bucky or Steve, maybe even Banner, but their shifts have gone fine, I don't want to look like a scared little girl.
I park myself back in the chair and then I hear it, Russian, I've heard Nat speak it before, that can't be too common in a small Polish village right? I pull the curtain back and look down the road, two tanks and more trucks than I can count are stood still, waiting. Fuck.
Frantically I run to Bucky and Steve, "get up! Get the hell up now!" they both jump up almost instantly, Banner is up too, they're looking at me, waiting.
"There's two tanks and a bunch of trucks down the street, I could hear someone talking in Russian, I don't know where it was coming from!" Steve steps to the window and does a better effort than me of concealing himself to look out at the vehicles.
As he turns to speak to us there's a knock at the door, Banner, who's closest walks over in soft steps and looks through the spy hole, he raises a finger to his mouth and gestures for us all to stand out the way as he opens the door, the small polish lady from before rushes in straight towards me, she grabs my arm and then Steve's, she only just allows us to grab our things as she heads out the room and pulls us with her.
My eyes meet Buckys, but he's following us, he puts his hand on my back and pushes me forward to follow the woman.
She pulls Steve still and let's go of my hand, leading us down a back stair well and pushing open the back door, "safe" she whispers in a strong accent and shakes Steve's hand.
I look at the woman and she smiles and nods, repeating "safe" as we all pass her and she shakes each of our hands. Banner and Steve hurry low and fast between buildings away from the Main Street, I hear more shouting in Russian in the distance and I can't help but check on the metal armed man behind me. He puts his hand on my back again and pushes me.
Why the hell am I so concerned about him? He's a damn super soldier and is a lot more capable than I am!
Because it's Hydra, I shush the voice in my head.
"Wait!" Banner stops quickly and we crash into each other a little too heavily, Buckys metal arm hits me in the back and I cover my mouth to stop myself yelling. "You okay?" Bucky whispers once we pick ourselves up, I grit a smile and nod.
The dark sky is starting to turn lighter and we all know this means we'll lose what little cover we have.
We carry on, low and fast, eventually reaching the outskirts of the village and into more forest, "Bucky keep up the rear, Eden-" I look at Steve, "low and fast and if you need to, use the knives."
And so we run, low and fast through the trees, Russian shouting a far distance behind us, far enough to not have to worry, yet. My feet start to hurt and I finally take notice of the daylight creeping through the trees. When I start to slow I feel that same hand on my back, Bucky pushing me forward, sometimes running at the side of me until I find the strength to run faster.
The birds aren't tweeting above us, like they know to hide and keep quiet, eventually even the shouts behind us grow silent and I hope that's cause of how fast we've been running but I highly doubt that, Hydra surely can't be that easy to evade.
I slow again and Bucky pushes my back forward once again, "come on doll, we're nearly there!"
Chapter Text
We reach the outskirts of the city just as it starts to get busy with the rush of the day, Banner tells us he has a friend ten minutes away but that he is a paranoid man that doesn't take well to lots of new faces.
"You two wait out in that cafe, I'll go with Bruce to see his friend."
Bucky and I cross the road and head into the cafe Steve pointed out, we order two coffees and take a seat by the window.
"I definitely need to run more, I'm exhausted." I rub my hands on my face, any makeup I had on is surely long gone.
Bucky looks from the window to me, he takes a sip of his coffee and smirks, "maybe we need to work on your stamina."
I take a sip of my own coffee, not today Barnes, at least not while I still need to catch my breath.
"I heard you named your computer, Blue right?"
"Yeah, it was my mum's favourite colour."
"I'm still not sure how all that stuff works, it took me ages to fly a jet."
Buckys face looks so innocent, I forget he didn't grow up with the technology I did, even his phone is ancient, so many things in this century are new to him.
"What's the best thing about being in the future?" Curiosity gets the better of me, I've asked Steve many questions about his past and the new normal but I know he gets emotional about it and that his mind always reverts back to Peggy.
"The food!" He nods slowly and repeatedly as if he's thinking about all the new foods he's had.
I laugh and he shrugs, "sitting here with you isn't so bad either."
How does he go from food to that? Where did that come from? What am I supposed to say to that? My brain is overwhelmed with questions and I think Bucky takes my silence the wrong way because he looks super uncomfortable all of a sudden.
"See Barnes, I knew you'd warm up to me." Sarcasm is the best I can do him, I know he expected more but he playfully rolls his eyes at me and continues talking to me as if he hadn't just said something that doesn't fit our dynamic at all.
I mean yeah Bucky can be caring, like how he always checks I'm okay, how he pushed me on in the woods, he brings me coffee when I'm hungover, but that's just him doing his job, he's trying to get on my good side cause of my dad.
We drink our coffee and keep our eyes on the streets, there's nothing out of the ordinary or interesting going on and instead we start giving ridiculous pretend lives to the people passing by the cafe.
"Her, brown skirt!" Bucky starts laughing as I look for the woman.
"She has 15 cats, all robots with fur! She can stretch her arms hundreds of feet and when she kisses people she sneezes!" He chuckles to himself and I cant help but laugh at how sweet he looks, so comfortable, no bad ass Bucky but he looks playful and sweet.
I spot a man crossing the road, "oooo! Him! Green jacket! He has a secret tail that he tucks up his shirt, he has multiple wives and millions of children and he can sing exactly like Mariah Carey!"
Bucky laughs "who?"
Damn I forgot he's old as shit, "Mariah Carey! Pop diva! Has like the highest pitched voice! Cracking Christmas song!"
He looks confused but gives me a look of approval.
As I scan the streets for someone else I spot Steve rounding a corner, he crosses the road and stands on the street outside the cafe window, I alert Bucky and we make our way out to him.
"I've got a car to take us to a jet, Hydra are infiltrating the city looking for us, we need to go now!"
We rush as quickly as we can over the road without drawing too much attention to ourselves, which is difficult when one of you has a metal arm and is trying his best to conceal multiple guns he has on him as well as a girl with knives on her belt who's outfit is in no way suitable for a casual morning in Krakow.
There's no signs of anyone suspicious and we reach the car quickly, piling in and speeding away to meet Banner and finally fly home.
It takes only a few minutes until we reach a large building and Steve pulls the car into an underground garage. We follow him over to a lift which takes us to the rooftop where Banner, another man and a jet are waiting for us.
Relief fills me, tiredness overwhelms me, I'm ready to get home.
Banner and Steve thank the man as we climb on board and they each take a seat at the controls, I sit myself down next to Bucky and buckle myself in, desperate to just sleep for the entire journey I rest my head on his shoulder and he looks down at me, "I cannot wait to get home!"
Bucky agrees with a smile and breathy laugh, "it's nice to hear you call it home."
***
I wake with a panic until I take in my surroundings, I'm home and in bed at the compound. It's light out and I know I must've slept right through from us getting back to the morning, but did Bucky carry me in here?
I'm slightly restricted when I move and I realise the most he's done to make me comfortable is took off my jacket and boots.
Taking a shower makes me feel human again and I take longer than normal as the hot water falls on my skin as I lather myself in body wash.
When I'm dry and dressed I head to find my dad, Bucky is waiting for me outside my door, he looks far more awake than I feel like he should right now. "Please tell me you've slept!"
He shrugs, "a little, I didn't need as much as you clearly."
"Well thanks for putting me to bed."
"Don't worry about it. Come on, they're waiting for us."
I follow him down to where most larger meetings are held in the compound, my dad, Steve, Bruce, Rhodey, and Nat are already sat down talking between themselves when we join them and take our seats.
"So how was it? Now you've all had your rest." My dad gestures to me and I earn smiles from the others at the table as I recoil in embarrassment.
"We got Bruce back, I'd say job well done." Steve looks proud of our little mission. I nod, as does Bucky.
They continue talking about the trip, the jet being shot down as we arrived, that there was no damage to the city once we left, the small old polish lady that I learn is a retired agent of shield back from the Second World War.
"Any friend of yours old man?" I whisper to Bucky beside me and he scrunches up his nose and gives me his best side eye as he shakes his head.
My dad and Bruce discuss logistics and I explain to them the tech from the van, "it has finger print technology like I've never seen before, but I got into it so quickly, almost like they let us take Bruce. I expected a lot more resistance.."
Steve nods his head, "I agree, I expected much more than we got, either they were lacking in men or they made it easy on purpose."
"I wouldn't say easy, if it wasn't for Eden I'd of got shot in the back." Bucky chimes in but I know he's just being kind, there's no way my small effort made any difference to the success of the mission, and I know damn well a bullet would barely affect a damn super soldier.
"Nah you were fine without me."
My dad looks between us then to Steve, "so are you saying they let you take Banner?"
We all look at each other, even Banner looks like he agrees. "There was more fire power in the village than where I was being kept."
A wild thought springs into my mind, "do you think they put a tracker on you? What if they used us to lead them to someone or somewhere else?"
Banner looks at me for a second and his eyes widen, he jumps from his seat and runs out the room, we all look after him in confusion.
"If he was the big guy, they wouldn't be able to penetrate his skin with anything.." Nat is thinking out loud for our sakes and starts pulling something up on her tablet.
My dad stands and follows after Banner and a minute later they return as we are discussing whether it is possible to inject any sort of tracker into Bruce's skin.
"They got Zofia-" he realises we don't know what that means. "The lady that helped, gave us a room, helped us get out. She's dead."
Silence overwhelms the room, none of us know what to say.
"I'm sorry Bruce." Steve speaks on what I feel is behalf of us all. "She was a lovely woman." I add on.
"What happened?"
"They stormed her looking for us, there was a man across the road watching us, he knew we were watching from the window, he went and told hydra we were there."
My mind goes to the man I saw go into the house, the flicking of the lights and the blinds, I knew that felt off. Guilt pains me, I don't want to tell them all I saw him, why would that man fetch hydra to us?
"Bruce, how do you know all this?" Bucky sees the confusion clear on my face and asks what I'm dying to know.
"The man across the road was-" he looks at Bucky and shakes his head. "You killed his parents. He was friends with Zofia, when he saw what they did he got in touch with local authorities."
All eyes are on Bucky, his fists clenched in tight balls on his lap. "I'm sorry Bruce." He mutters just loud enough to hear. His long hair hides his face as he looks down in shame.
I look to Steve but even he doesn't seem to know what to say to his best friend, my eyes lay on my dad, I can tell how conflicted he feels by the way he shifts his jaw and licks his lips.
Bruce takes a deep breath and leaves the room, defeated. Nat rushes after him and we hear Bruce's angry shouts from down the hall, "how many good people are going to die because of him? All he's done!"
I don't quite hear what Nat says to try and calm him down but I secretly hope it's in Bucky's defense.
Rhodey gets up and squeezes Caps shoulder as he leaves the room. I feel like we should all leave Bucky alone, maybe to talk to Steve but I can't move from my seat, I'm fixed on Bucky.
My dad clears his throat and rests his elbows on the table, he looks at me, I'm silently pleading him to say something that will bring Bucky even the slightest bit of comfort.
"Barnes," Bucky doesn't move, "Barnes!"
Slowly he turns his head and looks to my dad through his long hair. "This was not your fault. You did a great job. And you did and continue to do a great job with Eden. Understand?"
Buckys hands visibly loosen, his shoulders release the tension he was holding, he does a small curt nod and my dad gives him one back before standing and leaving the room.
It's quiet as both Steve and I exchange a worried look. My attention goes to the man sat beside me and I shuffle my chair until I'm right next to him, without thinking I put my hand to his face and brush one side of his long hair behind his ear, he turns to me and my heart breaks at the pain in his eyes.
I keep my voice soft and low, I know he needs a gentler tone right now. "This wasn't your fault, this was their fault, Bucky Barnes is not that person, you never were, that wasn't you, okay?"
He blinks and grinds his jaw, nothing we say matters to him right now, I hope Steve has better luck and so I squeeze his non metal hand and give him my best reassuring smile and leave him in the company of the only person in the world that could possibly get through to him.
Chapter Text
Days go by before I see Bucky, it seems I've been released from his watchful eye for now.
A large part of me thinks that's great, I can do what I want, and yet another part of me, a much larger part, really just hopes he's okay.
I decide to distract myself, I text Frankie to come get me, telling her we should head to a club. It's Friday after all, what else is there to do?
When we arrive I hand the doorman my ID and he smirks, "Stark huh?" I nod, "yep! Stark! That okay?"
He laughs and hollers for another man to come over, "this girls so obsessed with Iron Man she's even changed her name!" He really thinks he's humiliating me huh.
I take back my ID and smile as the two men laugh at me with a few others in the crowd for the door joining in. Frankie grins and I follow her lead as I walk in the door.
"Blue, in a few hours, tell Mr Stark where I am."
"Of course Eden, would you like him to send someone to pick you up?" Blue speaks into my ear, I've found a comfort in her being permanently with me.
"No, just let him know."
Frankie and I head to the bar and get ourselves shots and drinks, "to the dickheads outside eating their words." We clink our glasses together and laugh.
"I can't wait to see you get caught this time, how did you even sneak out? Where's the guy with the long hair?"
I love how she plays dumb, if she works for Steve she definitely knows Bucky.
My mind goes to him and I almost want him to come drag me home.
No, no I don't mean that, shut up Eden.
Frankie and I drink and dance for hours, our bodies grinding against random men as we become more intoxicated, their hands on our hips as we move our bodies to the music.
The man I'm dancing with is handsome, his blonde hair is styled with just enough wax that I can run my hands through it. I pull gently and he smirks, pulling something from his pocket and putting it in his mouth before slowly kissing me and transferring a pill onto my own tongue. My mind immediately goes to Peter telling me I should be a grown up but I push it away. Being a grown up is doing what you like.
My dance partners hands go down my hips to my bum, his tongue on my neck as he kisses up to my ear, my eyes roll back in a euphoric state as the buzzed feeling begins to overwhelm me.
Bucky is in my head, and I open my eyes greeting his own as his hands roam my body, his mouth on my neck, I blink hard and Bucky is replaced by the blonde man. Fuck.
I close my eyes shut, and can't fight the feeling of hope that when I open them again it's Bucky I see, and it is, I see his face push through the crowd, but it isn't the Bucky I know, his hair is almost all gone, cut into a much shorter style, his beard is mere stubble across his jaw, a leather jacket hugs his torso tightly.
My mouth opens to speak but I can't, I turn my back to my dance partner and direct myself at the man heading towards me.
Bucky reaches us and he's already shouting at me to leave. The music is so loud I barely hear him but he gets his point across well enough.
"You know you shouldn't be here! You couldn't just stay home? I saw you take something, you need to be sick!"
The blonde with his hands still on my hips pulls my back to his front, "she's going nowhere with you buddy! Can't you see she's having fun?"
Bucky grits his teeth and tilts his head, I know that look, and it's dangerous. Yet a part of me, a very stupid part of me wants to push that dangerous part out of him.
"Yeah Bucky, I'm having funnnn" I slur purposely and he bites his lip and gives me a smile, he rubs his face with his metal hand and the hands on my hips stop still.
"See, I came here, and I didn't want to make a scene. Do you think I should make a scene," he looks past me and to the blonde, "buddy?"
My hips are released, "nah I think you're good." The man disappears into the crowd and Bucky smiles at me, "home."
He grabs my hand and turns to leave but I'm not ready to go anywhere, I dig my heels into the ground and he looks back at me.
"I'll leave. If you dance with me." I lean away from whispering slowly into his ear. His eyes narrow and he lets me put his hands on my waist.
"Let me show you how we dance in this century Sargent Barnes."
I move my hips, and make him move with me, our eyes focused on one another's, he licks his lips and looks down at my lips quickly, a smug smile graces my face as he meets my eyes again.
My head is screaming at me to kiss him, I know he's trying to be professional, when I move his hands down my body to my ass he pulls them back to my waist and shakes his head at me.
"Stop it."
"Why?"
He can't give me a reason, not a valid one, we both know that.
I run my hands over the hair at the back of his head, I loved his long hair but shit, "your short hair is sexy."
Bucky laughs, "you're drunk, and god knows what else."
The music pounds in my ears, the pill taking away my nerves, I feel bold right now, even more so than normal, the lighting in this club is making him look so god damn good.
"I'm drunk, but I have eyes," I scratch my nails against his scalp and his eyes squeeze shut, our bodies still moving together to the music.
I slide my hands from his hair to his face, the stubble is scratchy but I like it, I continue down his body as he watches me through hooded eyes, I take all of him in as he stands in front of me, the leather jacket does him wonders, I drag my hands down his chest to the hem of his shirt and lift it slightly putting my hands on his skin.
My eyes go back to his and he takes a heavy breath and as I go to make my move, "IRON MAN IN THE CLUB" blasts through the speakers over the music. Bucky and I both look around and see the crowd parting in our direction.
I narrow my blurry eyes on the figure walking towards us, oh shit I forgot about him.
My dad saunters over the dance floor and Bucky pulls away from me, "we'll talk about that later," my dad scolds Bucky who pushes me forward through the crowd to meet the forever disappointed, Tony Stark.
Jaws are almost on the floor as he grabs my arm and pulls me behind him out the door of the club, the two men from before are staring in disbelief, "he's my dad." I whisper in their direction and I see Frankie beside me finally, she giggles, Bucky rolls his eyes but smiles just the same as he helps me into the passenger side of my dads car.
Bucky tells me he'll be home soon and that he's just going to take Frankie home. My dad climbs in beside me and hands me a bottle of water. "Do not spill that in this car."
He speeds away from the club, leaving Bucky and Frankie in the rear view. He doesn't say a word, and although I'd normally have some sarcastic or smug comment to make, I think the part of me that doesn't like my dad is slowly starting to lift.
Once we're back at the compound he shuts off the engine but just sits, silent, I think he's waiting for me to get out but as I reach for the handle he finally speaks.
"You told Morgan that you would read her a bedtime story tonight."
Fuck. My heart feels like it has shrunk ten sizes and catapulted out my chest. Guilt overwhelms me and I think about Morgan's little face this morning asking if I would read her new book with her at bedtime. She was so excited when I said yes.
I begin to speak but the words don't come out.
"Nothing I do is going to change how you feel about me, I know that. But Morgan-" he takes a deep breath.
"Do not punish her for the way you feel towards me. You will make this up to her, I don't care how old you are, you're grounded."
I blink in disbelief, "I'm 26!"
"Then act like it!"
Tony has never raised his voice at me until now, and I know that I have pushed him too far.
I climb out of the car and head to my room, strip myself naked and climb into my shower, the disappointment in Tony's voice repeats itself in my head, and then in pops my mum, sadness and grief overwhelms me.
Sinking to the tiled floor I hold my knees to my chest and do what I've been holding onto for months, and I cry, my sobs shaking my body, the breaths I take are painful in my chest, every thought and memory of my mother crosses my mind as I finally cry for her loss.
Allowing myself to finally free myself of every pain I had pushed deep inside of me, a scream escapes from deep within my chest and the shower door pulls open, Bucky face is full of panic and he looks like his heart could break for me as he wraps a towel around me and helps me to my feet.
He walks me into my room and sits me on my bed, wrapping another towel around me he kneels in front of me and pats at the towel over my knees. "What do you need?"
His eyes searching my face for answers bring more aching sobs to my chest and I fall towards him, literally letting him hold me in these wet towels as I cry for my mother. His hand strokes my hair as my tears soak his shirt.
When I finally stop crying it feels like hours have passed.
Bucky helps me back onto the bed and he bends down onto one knee in front of me once more, "get dressed okay? I'll be right back."
He leaves and I just sit for a minute, body aching, barely feeling like I can function.
I finally stand and put on some sweats and return the towels to my bathroom, as I walk back through the door to my room, Bucky is stood in the door way holding a mug in his hands, "girls like chocolate when they're sad right?"
He walks over and places the cocoa on my night stand and then grabs my brush and sits on the bed, patting the space on the bed between his legs for me to sit in front of him.
My heart hurts at the way this reminds me of my mother as I sit between his legs and allow him to brush out my wet hair.
He doesn't seem to mind that when he's done I lay back against him, his arms lingering awkwardly as he doesn't know where to put them.
We sit like this for a while, so long that I fall asleep, when I'm awoken it's by Bucky carefully tucking me into bed, I look at him through sleepy eyes and he smiles, "it's okay doll, get some rest."
He stands to leave but I grab his arm, "Thank you Bucky, really!" He closes his eyes slowly before smiling again, "anytime."
Chapter Text
My eyes feel heavy as I wake, rubbing the sleep from my eyes I smile as I see Bucky slumped in the lounge chair against the wall.
His eyes are jittery, his lips moving just slightly as he sleeps, and then he jumps, his head shaking.
I'm on my feet and in front of him in seconds, "Bucky?" I shake him awake and he looks panicked.
"Are you okay?"
I smile, he seems to always be asking me that, "are you?"
He nods, "I am now."
"Why did you sleep here?" "I wanted to be here if you-" he looks down and then back up at me with a half smile.
"If I got upset? You didn't have to do that Bucky!" I can't help myself as I put my hand up to his face.
He places his own hand on mine and pulls it from his face, enclosing it in both of his hands. "I didn't have to, I wanted to."
I give him an awkward smile and stand up, "breakfast?"
"Sounds great!" Bucky stands and smiles back at me.
I head to the door but an idea pops into my head. "I'll meet you there, I just have to do something."
I receive a smile as I head out the door and up the stairs to the floor above me, I reach the door I need and take a deep breath before opening it and creeping in quietly.
Small, adorable snores escape Morgan as she lays curled up sound asleep in her bed. I sit on the edge and she stirs slightly and her eyes open just enough to look at me. "Eden?" Her little face gets more excited as she wakes up further.
"Hi cutie! Do you want to come get breakfast with me? I'm sorry about last night" I give her my biggest sorry eyes and she giggles.
"Can we read my book tonight?" She beams up at me as she climbs out of bed and puts on her little slippers.
"You've just woke up and already you're thinking about going to bed?" I tickle her neck as she walks beside me to the kitchen.
Morgan shrugs, "Daddy said he would read it but I said it has to be you!" She folds her arms and runs a little ahead of me to the top of the stairs.
Despite a slight headache I'm feeling okay this morning, Morgan's giggles as she tells me stories seem to make the day a lot brighter.
When we reach the kitchen, Bucky has made us sausage sandwiches, vegan for me, he picked up on that little detail fairly quickly. He sees Morgan by my side and his eyes widen and look to me, panic evident "I didn't make her anything?"
I crouch down to my sisters eye level, "what do you wanna eat kiddo?"
Morgan looks at me, then Bucky, and back to me. "Coco pops!!" She beams in my direction.
I put my hands up as if in defense, "hey! Don't tell me, tell the chef!" I point at Bucky and he bends down to her level, copying me.
"Coco pops please!" She grins and he smiles back at her. "I think I can manage that, although it might take hourrrrrs to make." He exaggerates to make her laugh and he pokes her little tummy, Morgan squeaks and she leans on me, her little arms around my neck.
"Don't be silly! I can make it in five minutes Bucky!" She grins at me and I mirror it and look at Bucky, I stand and he does the same.
Bucky chuckles to himself as he walks over to the cupboard and prepares Morgan's breakfast quickly and brings both hers and mine to where we've sat at the table, before grabbing his own and sitting opposite me to eat.
We eat in silence, an occasional mumble from Morgan as she says the odd thing between bites.
Eventually we're joined by more people coming down to breakfast, Steve, Peter, Nat and a few other agents I don't know too well, and then my dad and Pepper, who look relieved to see Morgan sat at the table eating.
"Morgan! I wondered where you had run off to!" Pepper strokes the top of her daughters hair as she sits beside her, coffee in hand.
"Eden woke me up and Bucky made me coco pops!" Morgan grins a toothy smile at her mum.
Pepper and my dad both look at me, shock evident on their faces.
"You got her up?" My dad stands against the kitchen counter drinking from a mug that says 'Worlds Best Dad'.
I nod, "yeah I figured I owed the little cutie a breakfast date." I scruff Morgan's hair and she giggles. Pepper gives me a warm, grateful smile. My dad however narrows his eyes on me.
"And we're reading your new book tonight, right?"
"Right!" Morgan finishes the last of her cereal, she's a ridiculously slow eater.
Pepper sips her coffee eyeing my dad over the top of her mug, she raises her eyebrows and he gives her a look I can't place.
There's mindless chatter at the table and my attention is all on Morgan as she tells me all about the trip to the zoo she's going on with school next week.
I'm being educated on the monkeys when I look in the direction of the person who's not took their eyes off me, if suspicion could kill I'd be dead.
I give my father a curt, apologetic smile but I get nothing in return. I guess it's his turn to be mad at me.
My gaze goes to Bucky who is discussing floating cars with Peter, although I'm pretty sure Bucky brought it up, it's Peter who has gone off on a tangent about the science behind it.
I look around to the others on the table and listen in to their conversations, all the agents have left to do their jobs and we've been joined by a hesitant Banner.
When he enters the room I notice Bucky noticeably stills, but as Bruce walks past he pats Bucky on the shoulder and I assume they've spoke about the issues between them.
Steve smiles at me as I catch his eye and he motions to the door with a slight head jolt. I nod and stand, waiting against the wall down the corridor I see Steve walking towards me a minute later.
"Yknow, it's been a while since we've done this." Steve grins at me and wiggles his eyebrows and I shove his arm, "we don't do that anymore, old man."
He laughs and opens the door for me as we get to the back exit of the building, we walk along the grass and out along the perimeter.
"I really like sneaking you out for milkshakes when you're in trouble though!" Steve pretends to be upset and I giggle, "my dad told you off! Imagine! He's even grounded me now!"
Steve looks at me gone out but then starts to laugh, "like that will keep you here."
I go quiet at this, because I think maybe this time it actually will. I bite my lip and Steve nudges into me, "hey! What's on your mind?"
I think for a second before answering, it can't hurt to talk to Steve, hell he's one of my closest friends since I've been here, and I actually value what he has to say.
"Do you think-" I pause, wondering how to say the words swimming in my head. I go with the Peter Parker basics, "do you think I'm a grown up?" I scrunch up my face and Steve let's out a laughing breath through his nose.
"You're 26? I'd say that's a grown up?"
I think further on what Peter said.
"Okay, do you think I'm being difficult? How I behave? Like I should be doing better?" My eyes go to the ground, I don't want to see the look on Steve's face.
He stops walking and turns to me and I finally look at him the best I can with the morning sun glaring down into my eyes.
"I think that you suffered a great loss, and you behave how you feel you can cope with that." He takes a deep breath, "there's no set time on how long you can grieve. But maybe- maybe take into consideration that you aren't alone, there's plenty of people here who care about you."
Steve gives me a small, reassuring smile and we carry on walking, slowly and in silence.
We've done a full lap of the compound before Steve speaks again.
"I've actually noticed, you've been a lot less reckless the last few days, until last night. Normally it's all guns blazing on the hunt for where you are." He laughs to himself and I think of Frankie.
"You always know I'm safe though, don't you?" I smirk at him but he gives me a confused expression.
"Frankie works for you Steve."
He stays quiet a minute and I just know he's trying to think of a lie to cover himself, but then he looks genuinely confused. "She doesn't work for me? She doesn't work for any of us."
What? How is that possible?
I'm so confused.
"Then how do you always know where I am?"
Steve raises his eyebrows, "Eden, we're the avengers, and for the daughter of a genius, when it comes to not trying to be found, you're a dumbass!"
"Language!"
Steve and I both laugh, but my mind can't shake what he said about Frankie, I was so sure of it.
"You and Buck are getting along well.." Steve starts but I shake my head at him, "don't start."
He raises his hands in defense, "I'm just saying it's nice that you've become friends. It means it's less trouble for you both."
Less trouble?
We head back towards the compound and my mind feels more full than when we got out here.
"Buckys no trouble, Steve?"
He pulls the door open for me to enter the building. "So every other person watching you was a pain in the butt, but you don't mind Bucky?" He gives me the slyest smirk.
"Maybe there's something about a super soldier I just like." I exaggerate looking Steve up and down and raise my eyebrows, he jokingly pushes my shoulder back "but really Steve, you let Bucky know he can watch me any time he likes." I wink as I head off down the corridor back to the kitchen, I hear Steve's laugh echo down the hall after me.
Chapter Text
Bucky isn't in the kitchen when I walk back in, no one is, I head to his room to find him but he isn't there either, I ponder the possibility he's gone to my room to look for me but as I enter, there's no sign of him, I decided to get washed and dressed before I continue my search.
When I finally find Bucky he is reading quietly in a small nook in a seating area not many people use on the basement floor.
My first instinct is to go over to him, but instead I stand back and watch as he flicks over a page and his brows furrow as he reads over it.
Bucky holds the book in one hand as he grabs a pen in the other and begins scribbling in a notebook I hadn't noticed sits on his lap.
I finally decide to walk over and as Bucky notices he quickly closes and attempts to hide the notebook, I don't want to pry so pretend I haven't seen it when I sit down on a sofa opposite him. "What're you reading?"
He gives me a small smile, "uh it's just.." he shows me the front cover of the book and I'm annoyed my face does nothing to hide my surprise, 'The Great American History' is printed on the cover.
"I just wanted to know what I missed."
My heart warms for him, I can't imagine how distressing missing chunks of time must be.
"Any way I can help?" I walk over and perch myself beside him, I can't help notice how he's sat with his legs crossed on the sofa, he's taken his boots off and his socks have little Captain America shields on, a giggle escapes me and he looks down and rolls his eyes. "Steve gave me them for my birthday."
I smile and lean towards him looking at the page he's currently reading, the JFK assassination. Shit.
"Bucky-" "it's okay."
I look up at him and realize I'm a little closer to him than I intended, my eyes drop to his mouth as he licks his lips and then smiles. I look back up at his face.
"W-what else have you learnt?" I pull myself away from how close I've allowed myself to get to him.
"Colonizing, wars.. and stuff." Bucky laughs and covers his face with his hand, I can't help but giggle along.
"The usual American history then?" A smirk tugs at my mouth, and he nods his head while he laughs.
We banter back and forth about the failures of American history for a while before we finally stop laughing together.
Bucky places his history book and notepad on the table beside him and leans down to put on his boots.
"Eden!!!"
Oh fuck.
My attention is drawn to the arch behind me into the corridor to the armory.
The Sokovian accent is clear in his voice as a figure appears just seconds after I move myself away from Bucky.
Pietro rounds the corner followed by Wanda and they both greet me with huge smiles.
I stand and head over to them, Wanda looks so happy to see me that I can't help but squeeze her a little when I give her a hug.
Pietro quickly grabs me when he gets his turn and lifts me in the air, twirling me around. "I have been so excited to see you!" He kisses my cheek.
I can't look at Bucky, for some reason I feel as though by allowing Pietro to grab and kiss me I'm doing something wrong. It's nonsense! There's nothing going on, but then I'm not sure he's met the twins and I mentally slap myself out of my own thoughts as I feel like I should introduce them.
Finally I turn and he's already stood, boots on, books packed away and walking over to us.
"Bucky, do you know Wanda and Pietro?" I try to put on my most normal smile as I look between the three of them.
"We met, in Wakanda." Bucky shakes Pietros hand and gives Wanda a small smile and courteous nod.
"What are you guys doing here?" I beam at my friends and Bucky steps to my side, almost... protectively?
No? Surely not, he knows there's no need to be protected from Pietro and Wanda.
"The party!"
Nothing?
Wanda tries again "Tony's birthday?"
His what?
"Wait? His birthday? When?" I can't believe I didn't know? How didn't I know?
Do you even care? I bite my lip, yes of course I do, I mean, he's still my dad right?
"Tomorrow. The party is tonight!" Wanda smiles, her fading Sokovian accent prominent in how she says certain words, I could listen to both Maximoffs all day.
"Crap!" I turn to Bucky, "we need to go shopping!" I spin back to Wanda, "what type of party? I don't have anything to wear!"
Pietro steps beside me in a second and as he puts his hands on my waist I notice Buckys jaw visibly tighten.
I lick my lips slowly and look at Pietro as he speaks to me, "you will look beautiful in anything you wear" he grins at me and I smile back at him.
I look to Bucky again, "shopping, right?" His jaw loosens and he nods, gesturing me to walk in front of him.
"I'll see you both later?"
Wanda and Pietro smile at me, I give them each a hug and Pietro kisses me on the cheek.
Bucky gently pushes me forward and we head to his car in the parking lot outside the main building. It's an old car, I'm not exactly sure of the model, cars aren't my specialty, but I know the reason he loves it is because of its age, he may be getting used to the technology in this century but I've learnt he loves his old, back in time, home comforts.
***
I buy my dad a new watch, albeit with money that was technically his once upon a time, and I find a tight red dress that is absolutely gorgeous once I have sent Bucky off to buy a new shirt.
He returns with a black button down shirt with a soft collar and he pulls it out the bag and asks my opinion with curious eyes, "do you think it's alright?"
Why does he look so nervous right now? It's fucking adorable how vulnerable he looks just asking me this.
"You'll look great Buck!" I put my hand on his face and my thumb strokes his cheek bone, his eyes are softly focused on mine as he leans into my touch slightly. I feel my stomach turn and I pull my bottom lip between my teeth.
Bucky looks to my mouth and then raises his own hand to my face, he puts his thumb on my lip and pulls it gently away from my teeth, softly and slowly stroking his thumb over my lip once he's done so.
Everything inside me feels warmer as I look at him, a smile only just escaping me as he leans forward and presses his lips on mine. They're soft like I expect, and I lean in hoping for more but he pulls back away from me, leaving me smiling to myself.
"Bucky.." my voice is barely a whisper, I put both of my hands on his chest and flutter my eyes open to be met with that beaming grim I've become extremely fond of.
"Yes?" His voice is low, he knows exactly how he's made me feel by kissing me and I can't stand how sexy it's making him.
Suddenly we're brought back to reality as a woman pushes past me slightly, we both look to her and then around one another at the busy store.
"We should get home, we only have an hour until the party."
The way I speak to him is different, as if I can't raise my voice past a certain volume, like keeping it low will bring him to me again, absolutely none of it makes sense. My brain is fuzzy and clouded with everything about James Buchanan Barnes.
Notes:
Obviously there's some changes within the timeline, I'll update this list when they happen but so far...
- Thor went for Thanos' head, aka endgame and the snap never happened.
- Morgan is around 4 years old.
- Peter is still in high school but is around 18 and is about to leave this year.
-Pietro didn't die, he saved Clint.I know there's little confusions and inconsistencies but my brain doesn't have the capacity to work it all out properly lol
Chapter Text
I didn't realise how well the compound could be scrubbed up for a party, not that the place is at all messy, but when I walk into the large reception room full of guests I barely recognise the place.
Shifting uncomfortably as people look over at me, I realise the reputation I have acquired as Tony's daughter and being occasionally in the press for my behaviour has made word spread about me.
I put my hand out to grab a flute of champagne off one of the waiters walking by me, but think better of it and pull my hand to my side, instead I look around the crowds and attempt to find any familiar face to distract myself. Before I can take a step I'm pulled into a hug as Pietro appears in front of me.
I'm spun around and his eyes light up as he takes in my appearance, "Eden, you are-" he pauses, thinking of the English translation perhaps, before he gives me a kiss on the cheek, "remarkable."
I can't help but smile, Pietros smile itself is infectious as he pulls me slowly to the dance floor behind him. He puts his hands on my waist and my mind goes to how Bucky had done so the night before. That seems like so long ago.
We dance to the slow jazz music in silence until Pietro finally speaks, "you know, I have found myself missing you Eden. Wanda and I, we are back to stay I hope.."
A knot tightens in my stomach and although I try my best, I know he senses that my smile isn't as genuine as he'd like.
"I should find Tony," I excuse myself and head to the bar, maybe I will risk just one glass of champagne.
"Well, you look lovely." Tony appears beside me and a hesitant smile graces my lips.
"As do you! I've got you a present upstairs."
"You got me something?" He fakes shock.
"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I gesture around us.
"I wasn't going to let you to come." His eyebrows raise and he looks around at his guests.
"Since you're grounded."
I bite my lip and look to the floor.
"I spoke to Sargent Barnes."
My eyes shoot up to him. My expression encouraging him to continue.
Our gaze meets and I know I will probably never get a conversation with Tony about my mother the way we both clearly need. His expression tells me enough, that Bucky told him about my crying in the shower, that he feels bad about my mother, that he knows my behaviour is down to my grief. Unspoken exchanges have seem to become a thing that Tony and I do. I certainly don't think I could bare to have that conversation with him, like he definitely doesn't want to have it with me.
Steve told me on our first trip out to get ice cream, months ago, of Tony's reaction when he got the call about my mother passing. He said that Tony went quiet and withdrew from the meeting they were in, that it was the only time he'd seen what he thought was a negative emotion on my dads face. He said he could've sworn he even saw him starting to cry, and that no one really saw him for a few days until I arrived.
"I'm glad you're here, Eden." That's all I get from him, but it's enough.
He nods and walks away over to Pepper, I glance around the room and I spot Peter dancing like an absolute dork with Morgan, I can't help the laugh that escapes me as he does a weird twirl that knocks him into a balding man who has tried way too hard to scrape his last remaining hairs over his head.
I see Nat, who looks gorgeous in a long black dress, talking to Steve and Banner and..
Bucky.
He looks up at me as I register it's him and he gives me a slight smile as he eyes me from top to bottom and back up.
I can't help but blush and look away to the crowd, I brush my hair behind my ear and look back in his direction as he excuses himself from the group and walks over to me.
He puts his hand on my waist and leans into my ear, his hot breath on my neck sends shivers down my spine.
"You are so beautiful."
He pulls back and stands up straight, I can feel the butterflies rising in my stomach.
"Thank you Bucky, that shirt was a great pick." I take my turn to look him over and wow. I never knew he could scrub up this well.
He spins in a circle and puts his arms out, presenting himself, "I have great taste." He winks at me and turns to the dance floor, extending his arm for me to take it.
I hook my arm in his and he places his metal hand on mine over his arm. The cold of the vibranium feels odd but weirdly comforting.
Bucky takes my hand in his real one as we reach everyone else dancing and places his other hand on the small of my back, pulling me into his body closer than I expect.
The sound of a violin and piano serenade my ears as the song played by the band fills the room. Couples around us, old and young, dancing slowly together.
My eyes go to Bucky who is watching me watch those surrounding the pair of us. He smiles softly when I catch him.
"I saw you spoke to your father. Are you okay?"
We dance slowly, but together.
"Yeah I'm good. He actually said you spoke to him," Bucky opens his mouth to speak but I shake my head and quickly continue "it's ok, I'm glad. Whatever you said to him, I'm grateful."
"He cares about you a lot, I think he just doesn't know how to show it."
I think about the things my mum had told me, about the relationship Tony had with his father, my grandad.
"I think that's just a Stark thing."
My eyes find my dad and he's allowing Morgan to step on his feet as he dances with her to the music, she is absolutely beaming at him. Bucky notices too and when we look back at one another he looks apologetic.
"I'm glad he's learning to be better with Morgan." I look back at them again and then to Bucky, he nods understandingly.
"He will be better for you too, you just have to give him the chance. He's a good man."
I know Bucky doesn't know my dad well enough to properly form that sort of opinion but I know he believes that he's a good man, and I know for certain that Bucky feels deeply apologetic towards my dad for the history between them, and that he believes that my relationship with my father can be healed.
"He is a good man." A confirming smile is all I can manage right now as I step in closer and rest my head on Buckys shoulder, swaying and stepping to the music, I feel at ease.
After a few dances, Steve steps up to Bucky and I, he asks to cut in and I bow out receiving a laugh from the pair of them.
"Come on, you don't wanna dance with each other?" I grin at the best friends.
Bucky shakes his head with an accompanying laugh and walks over to Nat.
Steve replaces Bucky as the band go from an upbeat jazz song to a much slower one, "I saw Bucky was teaching you to jive?" His sarcasm is improving.
His smile is menacing, I laugh, "can Bucky actually jive?" I say in shock and Steve looks at his friend and laughs as he shakes his head, "no I don't think he can. But if you ask I'm sure he'll try."
The last thing I want to do is learn how to jive. Although I'm sure watching Bucky try would be hilarious, his dancing to the more lively songs just now was hilarious and sweet enough, however, I don't think I could possibly embarrass him by asking.
"You're getting on well? With Bucky?" Steve's curiosity has an ulterior motive, he's so easy to read.
I decide to play along and see where he takes this, "yeah, we get along well, he's doing his job and he's a good friend."
Steve raises his eyebrows at me, "friend huh?"
I nod, "should I not be friends with him?" I'm a better actor than Steve by far.
"You've not been going out as much, partying, doing things you shouldn't." He avoids my question.
"I guess I don't feel the need." I bite my lip, and he slowly nods his head. "I think there's more than friendship between you." He smirks down at me as the song begins to get more upbeat.
"Why do you think that? He's working for my dad, that would be super inappropriate, he'd never do anything like that." That's a lie, I know it, and I'm pretty sure Steve does too.
"You two have gotten close-" "as friends." He laughs, "as more than friends."
"He's doing his job Steve."
He looks around the room and then leans towards me, his head next to mine, "then why did he kiss you today?"
Fuck. Bucky told him. Fuck.
Steve stands up straight and a smug smile beams down at me, I look at Bucky who is watching the pair of us and narrow my eyes.
"He told you?" I look back at Steve and the grin he holds is still prominent on his face.
"He's my best friend, Eden."
He has a point, and it's one I can't argue with.
I have no defense, Steve is waiting for me to say something but I have nothing.
"We can all see how much happier you are having him here Eden."
Really? He's taking that route?
"What do you mean?"
"You stay at home, you're bonding with Morgan, he makes you laugh, you've gone from a walking rain cloud to a cloud about to let the sun shine through."
"He's not been here long enough to have that sort of effect on me." Why am I being so stubborn? So defensive?
"And yet your face lights up when you look at him."
This old man is starting to annoy me.
"No it doesn't." I'm lying and we both know it.
Steve knows me better than this, "why are you fighting it?"
The truth is I don't know, a big part of me is scared to care about other people, after my mother... I swallow back the lump forming in my throat.
"Why do you even care?" I try not to raise my voice.
"Because I want you to be happy! And you make my best friend happy, and god knows he needs it."
Something in me stirs, is Steve relying on me to make Bucky happy?
"I need to get a drink." I pull away from Steve and head to the bar, telling the bartender to pour me multiple shots one after another. Finally a hand is placed over the small glass and I look at the face it belongs to.
"I think you've had enough." The look of disappointment is evident.
"Aw do you not like when I get drunk? But it makes me so fun?" I exaggerate as I speak.
Nat steps up beside him, "Eden, let's get some air?" She holds her hand out to me and I look up at Bucky, I notice his jaw has tightened.
I know I'm being a dick, and I have no idea what for, I'm not even drunk, I just have no idea how to process the emotions that are filling my body and making my head hurt.
Once she's dragged me outside, Nat sits me down on a bench and crouches in front of me. "Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?" Why am I giving her an attitude?
Tears fill my eyes, since when did I cry so easily? This is just angry crying, right?
"Drinking, sabotaging yourself, I saw that look in your eye, I've seen that plenty. You want trouble so you don't have to feel anything."
Correct. If I'm drunk, high, occupied.. I don't think, I don't feel, emotions aren't there to fog my judgement, I can be numb. I like being numb.
I blink hard to push away the tears but one escapes down my face.
"What do you want? Right now?"
"I don't know Nat!" I close my eyes again and squeeze them shut.
"You don't need to be so irrational. We will work through how you feel. Don't push away the people that care about you."
She speaks softly and I open my eyes to look at her, "don't push him away."
I nod and blink slowly. "I don't know how to care about him without- without fucking it up. He's been through enough!"
Nat smiles at me, "so have you. Allow yourself to be happy."
She's right, she always is.
Movement behind Nat catches my eye and I focus on the worried expression on his face.
Nat follows my gaze and stands, "I'll leave you to it." She walks away, patting Bucky's shoulder as she walks past him.
He slowly walks over and sits on the bench beside me.
"I'm sorry Bucky, I don't know what came over me." I can't bear to look at him but I hear him laugh slightly, "it's okay. Steve told me he annoyed you."
Typical Steve. I shake my head, "he didn't annoy me. I got- well..." I have no idea how to defend myself, "Steve thinks we're getting close."
When I finally look at Bucky he's smiling, "aren't we? Ive thought so too. Earlier today.." He looks so handsome when he smiles, and if my face lights up when I look at him it seems from looking in his glistening eyes that his does the same looking at me.
"That was just a kiss.." I'm shooting it down but I can't help the smile pulling on my lips.
Bucky pouts, "that's true, you kiss a lot of people.."
I playfully shove his arm, "well I don't want to, not anymore."
"Why not?"
His eyes are set still looking at mine, I search his face and then greet his gaze. What I say right now matters to him, I can tell that much.
"I don't want to kiss a lot of people."
He drops his gaze, looking at me through hooded eyes as he rubs his thumb over my knee. "Does that include me?" His voice is low and seductive, he makes a small circle on my leg with his thumb and we both watch and then look back at one another.
"No, that doesn't include you."
He smirks, "good."
Good? Is that it?
Bucky stands and extends his hand out to me, confused, I place my hand in his and stand, he smiles at me and begins to walk away, pulling me behind him.
Confusion and frustration overwhelm me, I expected him to kiss me? Have I just been vulnerable enough to say that when he doesn't even want me?
I let go of his hand and he turns around wearing a confused but playful expression.
"What's wrong?" He frowns, a slight smirk hiding behind it.
I fold my arms and his eyes go to my chest then back to my face. "I just thought..."
He steps up to me, he puts his hands on either side of my face, "you thought I was going to kiss you?"
I don't reply straight away, I feel a little embarrassed. "Yeah?"
He smiles so brightly and dips to my eye level slightly as he speaks, "did you want me to kiss you?"
How can he be that handsome and that cocky all at once, I open my mouth to speak "Ye-"
I can't finish the word as Bucky interrupts me with his lips on mine, despite the cold night air, his breath, his lips, all of him is warm, hot even.
He delights me as he kisses me how I wanted earlier, his tongue against mine, his eagerness as his hands hold my face in place, his fingers putting just the right amount of pressure on my skin, my own hands gripping onto his shirt to keep myself stable, kissing him feels like I could float away.
Bucky pulls away from me just slightly and I open my eyes as he rests his forehead against mine, his smile makes his entire face glow.
"About time." He whispers against my mouth and kisses me again, slowly, but more gently. I want to hang onto this moment as long as I can but he pulls away again.
He takes my hand in his and rubs his thumb against my skin, my legs feel like they'll give way on me as I follow his lead towards the door to the party inside, "come on, before they miss us."
Chapter Text
No one but Nat seems to notice as we enter the party with our hands linked, that is until someone in front of us moves and my dad comes into view, Bucky and I both drop each other's hands at once and as I look at Nat she has an apologetic look in her eyes.
"Would you like a drink?" Bucky turns to me and rubs his hand on his neck awkwardly, "wine is fine, thanks."
He raises his eyebrows, I laugh, "I'm not an alcoholic don't look at me like that." He gives me a smile and heads to the bar.
I join Nat where she's stood against a cocktail table alone.
"So..?"
The grin on my face gives me away and she gives me one of her own. "I don't know what it is, we'll see."
I'm being honest, kissing someone doesn't mean a lot.
Except with Bucky it does.
I don't know whether it's just a kiss or maybe more, maybe it's nothing. I'm not gonna build it up just to be let down.
"Tony won't mind yknow." Nat catches me off guard as thoughts spin around my head, but she's wrong, she's never wrong, but on this... He trusted Bucky to watch me.
But did he say you weren't allowed to-
I can't continue the thought in my head, allowed to what? I have no idea.
"Eden!" Nat snaps her fingers in front of me and I realise I've gone off in my head again.
"Sorry, I was just thinking..." I take a deep breath and my eyes find Bucky still waiting at the bar to be served. "You know how he reacted to the others Nat, Bucky is different, he's one of you. He was already on thin ice, you know he was, and he asked for this job to help me not to.."
I can't finish that sentence, allowed to, not to... fuck. Where is this even going between us?
"Is Bucky the same as the others?" She has a slight frown as she waits for me to answer.
A woman has approached Bucky at the bar and she's laughing way too hard at something he's said, her blonde hair is pinned up tightly and she looks like a damn secretary not someone at a party. I can tell Bucky is giving short answers to be polite but when she touches his hand my stomach seems to burn.
"It's definitely different." Nat laughs and I turn to her.
"What?"
She smirks, "you never got mad when someone tried flirting with the others.. even Pietro."
Fuck I thought she'd forgotten about that.
"I'm not mad."
"Sorry, jealous then."
I can't even deny that, my eyes are back on Bucky and the blonde and I'm holding myself back from going over there.
You have no right to be jealous. Chill.
"The others were just sex, or something fun to play with."
"And Pietro?"
My eyes find Pietro on the other end of the bar to Bucky, talking to Clint and Steve.
The truth is I don't know what it was between Pietro and I, it wasn't like this, but it was more than the others.
"Pietro isn't what we're talking about."
Nat nods, "okay you're right, so, Bucky.. you know it's different! I know it's different, for a start, he's someone that was dating in a different period of time."
Wait, what?
"What does that have anything to do with?" I look at Bucky who's finally making his way over to us.
"He won't just fall into bed with you Eden, he's nothing like the others. Including Pietro." She lowers her voice as Bucky reaches us so he won't hear her.
"Bucky, you didn't have to get me a drink," she smiles and takes the other glass of wine from him as he hands me mine and takes a sip of his beer.
"Free bar." Bucky grins and laughs with us both.
"So what did I miss?" He smiles and steps a little closer to me, his arm moves to wrap around me but as though he realises there's eyes everywhere he lets it fall back to his side awkwardly.
"We missed you and Sharon flirting." Nat is the best person to have on side.
Bucky shakes his head and rolls his eyes, "I don't know what Steve ever saw in her."
"Who's Sharon?" I fake innocence, I know who she is now Bucky has mentioned Steve, I just didn't know what she looked like until now.
"Yknow Peggy? The love of Steve's life?"
"Wait, Bucky I thought you were the love of Steve's life?" He laughs at my question and nudges me playfully.
"Oh I am! But Peggy's the second choice. Well Sharon is Peggy's great niece, her and Steve went out on a few dates."
"And it didn't work out?" I'll ask the pair of them all the questions Steve wouldn't answer if I have to.
Nat shakes her head from side to side as if debating an answer. "She liked Steve, he found it a little weird after a while."
I nod, that's understandable. "So now she's after you?" My attention turns to Bucky but he's straight on the defensive.
"I prefer brunettes." He smirks slyly at me and I can't help the grin on my face.
"Who wouldn't." Nat interrupts the moment.
"Speak of the devil." Bucky looks at Steve making his way over to us as Pepper steps up to the microphone on the stage where the band is.
My dad stands to the side of the stage with Morgan in his arms.
"Thank you everyone for coming, Tony, tonight we celebrate you, happy birthday."
Pepper and my dad don't tend to do the whole PDA thing, "how about you come say something to our guests?"
My dad walks up onto the stage and Pepper stands back out his way as he taps on the microphone.
"Well, firstly, thank you for coming to celebrate me." Laughs are heard throughout the crowds.
"No but seriously, there's a lot of people I love in this room, my wife, my daughters," he gestures to Pepper first and then squeezes Morgan a little tighter where he holds her and then he looks at me, a small smile on his face. I feel awkward, I know my face is turning pink, Bucky finds my hand under the table and he squeezes it reassuringly, I give my dad a quick smile and raise my glass to him.
"My friends, coworkers, I'm glad you're all here to celebrate with me. Thanks for coming, nobody steal anything."
Everyone laughs again, I look at Bucky who's watching me carefully, I smile at him, "thank you." I mouth and he closes his eyes as he nods as if it's no problem.
Tony, Pepper and Morgan walk off the stage and the band begins to play again. I recognise the song straight away.
"Oh I love this song! Let's dance!" I rush towards the dance floor where a crowd has gathered and I pull Bucky behind me, laughing to himself, or at me? Im not sure.. but he follows with no hesitation.
"You know this song?" He grins down at me as he links our hands as we dance together.
"THATS LIFE! THATS WHAT ALL THE PEOPLE SAY!"
"Do you know this song?" I smile back at him and he gives me a cheeky nod.
As I sing along to the song, Bucky looks down at me, his features soft, his eyes doing an adorable little squint when he smiles, making wrinkles appear at the corner of his eyes.
"Sing with me!" I gleam at him.
He rolls his eyes and starts to dance with a little more effort. "But I know I'm gonna change that tune!" I giggle as he sings loud and with such emphasis.
Bucky twirls me under his arm and brings me back into his arms, singing and laughing together I feel like I'm finally myself as I let myself relax with him, and I see how he loosens up with me too.
"I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king! I've been up and down, and over and out, and I know one thing.." Bucky sings and adds his own little dance moves with the lyrics, I've never seen him this dorky, I'm not even sure Steve has.
"Are you drunk?" I giggle as he picks me up at the correct lyric, "I may of had a few before we got here." He does the nose scrunch I love and I wrap my arms around his neck as he swings me around, his arms cling me tightly as he laughs into my neck.
I'm glad the music is loud and there's plenty of people in here, otherwise I'd be worried we're causing a scene somehow.
When the song is finished, the band begins to play a song by Elvis and Bucky's eyes widen, "I know this song too!"
"Why wouldn't you? It's Elvis!?" I begin doing my best jail house rock dance and he does the same but does so much better, as I watch him I can't help but be impressed by his moves.
Steve and Nat join us to dance, quickly joined by Peter who follows the steps and moves we are all doing, "I don't even know this song" he laughs while bending his knees, Steve tries to conceal his laugh as he attempts to do the same steps.
Before I know it the people all around us are joining in with us, doing their best dance to Jail House Rock, Nat has it down, Peter too, Steve however is struggling. I spot Pepper trying to move Morgan's knees in the right direction for her and I run over to help, Pepper looks surprised as I grab both of their hands and we dance just the three of us.
I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn to see Happy with his phone, "let's get a picture of the three of you." I don't even feel awkward as I stand by the side of Pepper as Morgan stands in front of us, "CHEESE!" Morgan squeals and then looks at her mum and I, we both laugh and copy her, all of us speaking in unison. "CHEESE!"
Happy snaps a few pictures and I feel another person at my other side, my dad has stepped up beside me, "do you mind if I join?" He looks hesitant, as if he's pushing me too far.
I extend my arm for him to step into my side for a picture, "get in here birthday boy!"
His face changes instantly and he smiles the biggest I've seen as he stands beside me, Happy looks at us all for a moment, he smiles, "this is great."
He snaps a few more pictures and then jokes that we can disburse.
"Thank you for taking those pictures, it will mean the world to him," Pepper grabs me before I walk back to my friends and pulls me into a hug, "and to me!" I can't think of anything to say, suddenly feeling quite awkward. "It's nothing." I finally say and she smiles and walks to Tony who is still smiling as Morgan is pulling on his hand.
As I walk back to my friends, Nat looks at me with adoration, "you really made his birthday!" I look back to my dad and Pepper talking excitedly.
"It's the least I can do, right?"
And I truly mean it, I know I've done nothing but stress not just my dad but everyone here out while I've been going wild trying to figure myself out these last few months, their patience with me has been overwhelming and I'm only know realising I can show them in small ways that I am grateful without pushing myself too far in the process.
Bucky steps up to Nat and I and a yawn interrupts me as I'm about to speak. "I think that's my sign I need to get to bed!" I smile at Nat and Bucky and notice Pepper and Morgan heading out too.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" I smile at Bucky and he nods and leans in to kiss me on the cheek, I feel my cheeks flush. "Goodnight Eden, sleep well."
He stands straight and we exchange a glance quickly before I say goodbye to Nat and head to bed.
I catch Pepper and Morgan on the stairs and Morgan throws her arms around me, "I promised you a bed time story!" I scrunch my nose at her like Bucky does to me and she copies.
"Is it alright if I put her to bed? Or we could have a sleepover?"
Morgan nods furiously at her mum, we receive a wide grin from Pepper, "of course! Just make sure she brushes her teeth."
When we get to the top of the stairs Pepper goes along the corridor and into her room. Morgan and I go to her room and we get her changed and brush her teeth before heading back to my own room with her new book.
"I'll be right back, I've just got to change and brush my teeth too!" I grab some pjs and do everything I need in the bathroom and climb into my bed beside Morgan, she cuddles into my arms and as I begin reading her book, funny voices and all, she does a big yawn and allows the sleepiest, sweetest, most heartwarming words to escape her, "I love you Eden!"
I realise that within seconds she's asleep cuddled under my arm and I place down the book and settle us both into the bed. Pushing a strand of hair from her sleeping face I allow myself to say something I only ever said to my mum. "I love you too, kiddo."
Chapter Text
When I wake up I feel a heavy weight across my chest and there's light snores coming from the dark head of hair curled up against me.
I put my hand on Morgan's hair and scratch at her head with my nails softly, she snuggles closer to me but as I see her face I realise she's awake.
"Good morning!" I smile brightly at her and she looks at me through sleepy eyes, "how did you sleep?" She doesn't reply, only snuggles herself into me more.
There's a knock on the door and I call for them to enter. Bucky opens the door hesitantly and as he sees Morgan and I in bed he smiles softly.
"Morning!" He walks over and sits on the edge of my bed, I graze my hand over Morgan's hair, "someone had a heavy night!" Bucky smiles at her and I nod, "she told me she loves me."
Buckys face goes softer, his eyes almost sad, "has she not said that before?" His genuine interest makes the affection I already have for him grow ten fold.
"No, I've never said it back to anyone but my mum either," I look at Morgan still cuddled into me, I do genuinely love her "until now." My voice is quiet as I bask in this moment with my baby sister.
When I look to Bucky again he's wearing a huge smile, he takes my hand in his and rubs my skin gently. "Sorry, did you want something?" I remember he must've come in here for a reason.
He closes his eyes as he gently shakes his head, "No, I just wanted to make sure you're okay."
"I'm very content, thank you. Are you okay?"
"I'm great." He starts fidgeting, something slightly out of characters for him. "Buck?"
"I was just wondering if you would like to go on a date with me, this afternoon?"
Wait, the fidgeting? he's nervous? I make James Buchanan Barnes nervous?
"I'd love to!" I say a little too loud and Morgan stirs, I make a face and Bucky laughs silently.
"Around two? I'll meet you by the front door?" He has a huge smile on his face which is slightly making his cheeks pink.
Perfect, I have plenty of time to sleep a little more, "I can't wait."
Bucky brings my hand to his mouth and kisses it, "Good! I'll leave you to it." He gestures to Morgan and I let out a laughing breath as he stands and bends over where I'm laid, he plants a soft kiss on my forehead and then stands up straight, flashing me one last smile before he leaves my room, shutting the door behind him.
I snuggle back into Morgan with a smile on my face that I know will be hard to remove. Sleep overwhelms me, and when I begin to dream, there's only one man getting air time.
***
When I wake again, I'm alone in bed and figure Morgan has woke up and gone off somewhere, maybe to get breakfast?
I take longer in the shower, letting the hot water overwhelm me. When I renter my room my dad is sat in the armchair across the room, "hi" I smile awkwardly, fumbling in my draws for clothes while trying not to let my towel fall.
"Sorry! Take your time." He covers his eyes with embarrassment.
Changing quickly in the bathroom, I think of all the things he could possibly be here for, only, one thing keeps pushing away every other thought or idea... Bucky!
When I re-enter my dad has a book in his hands and when he notices me he places it on the small table beside him.
"So what's up?" I sit cross legged on my bed and wait for the lecture that's bound to come.
He stands and claps his hands together. "There's a mission this week, most of us will be gone for.. a while."
Okay? Is that all?
I pout in confusion, "ah okay.."
He steps closer to my bed and begins almost pacing, "The only people here will be Bruce and Sam."
Is he going somewhere with this? Because I'm not following, does he want me to come or?
"Obviously all the agents and staff that are normally here will be here, Pepper, Morgan..." he seems to remember someone else, "Oh and Peter can't come, far too dangerous." I can't help but laugh at this, he took the poor boy to space but this mission is too dangerous?
"Are you wanting me to come? I don't-" "no you're staying."
I nod in understanding, I'd honestly expected him to tell me I'm staying, if he won't let spidey senses Peter go then he certainly won't allow me.
"Okay, well, be safe." I don't know what else to say to him.
But then it hits me, what he's been trying to hint at.
"Bucky is going too?" I ask and he looks sheepish as hell.
"Yes, Sargent Barnes will be joining us." Oh.
I don't get a chance to say anything more before he speaks again. "I'm trusting you will be okay without his.. supervision while we are gone."
So he doesn't know about anything happening between Bucky and I? He's just hoping I'll be okay without a keeper to make sure I don't get into trouble.
How do I reply to that without making him suspicious?
"I actually thought I'd do some work in the lab this week, yknow, stop wasting potential." I add emphasis to what he's said to me before and he looks slightly proud? Or embarrassed? I honestly can't tell but it's not an expression I'm familiar with.
"So Sargent Barnes absence.. I don't need to worry?"
"No you don't. I'm actually gonna be out this afternoon with-" crap! Quick make an excuse!! "To go shopping for some things..." Wow you need to do better! "With Nat."
He rocks on his heels once and the look he gives me tells me he doesn't believe me, but he seems not to push it and nods, "I'll be back soon."
As he reaches the door handle I push myself to say something more, these missions can be dangerous. "Be safe."
He smiles curtly at me and leaves. Again, you could've done better.
***
When I'm ready I head downstairs to meet Bucky, I'm curious why he hasn't told me he's leaving, why no one has mentioned it until today.
Except when I reach the front door, he's not there. I stand around for fifteen minutes waiting, looking like a loser as people walk in and out the compound asking if I'm okay. When Nat comes running down the stairs towards the door, she takes a second to ask if I'm alright.
"Bucky asked me to meet him here at two.. I guess he's not coming..." I try not to look or sound too disappointed but I know it might as well be written on my forehead.
Nat steps to me and gives me a sympathetic hug, "I'm so sorry Eden. Bucky left with Steve this morning, everything's been super rushed, we only found out about this about three hours ago.."
Her explanation is almost making this worse and I think she knows that.
"I'm sure he meant to tell you?"
"Yeah! Yeah of course! Saving lives is more important!" I am very bad at acting like I'm not bothered.
Nat smiles, "I'll see you soon okay? I'm sure he'll make it up to you."
All I can do is nod, "be careful Nat! I'll see you soon!" I head back upstairs before she can say anymore, I'm really not good at goodbyes.
My mind goes straight to Bucky, was he in that much of a rush he couldn't swing by and tell me? Why did my dad not say he'd already left? Why did he not say anything about Nat when I said we were going shopping? Surely knowing I'm lying means I'm probably going to do something he wouldn't like? Maybe he knew I was meeting Bucky and was just lying about that so knew not to worry?
I have so many questions and no one to give me answers.
Chapter Text
I decide to distract myself, they'll all be back soon, surely nothing, not even aliens from another planet could take that long to defeat, right?
Wrong.
A week goes by before we hear anything from anyone, before we see anything on the news even. When it reaches Monday I finally bring myself to go to Pepper, I already know that she's stressed, but I figure she must know something? Tony couldn't not contact her?
I've left her alone, knowing that she's probably busy, but I'm going stir crazy not knowing.
When I find her she's sat in the office with her head in her hands, I clear my throat and she looks up at me and quickly composes herself. "Eden!"
"I.. I just wondered if you'd heard anything?" I can't help but fiddle with my fingers, something I tend to do when I'm nervous or uncomfortable.
Pepper dips her head but when she looks back to me she smiles, "they're all well."
That's all she knows, I can tell from her face.
I stand still not knowing what to do with myself, every question I had has gone, how can I put my stress on this woman? She already has enough to deal with. And Morgan...
Well Morgan doesn't really know what's going on, Peter hasn't been at school, he's been spending his time here, Morgan is keeping him busy enough, she loves spending time with him, but I know he's in his head about all this as much as I am.
I've tried spending time in the lab, but nothing I do distracts me enough, I contemplated ringing Frankie, going out, getting black out drunk, and yet that seems to of lost its appeal since... well, since there's only one person I want to spend my time with.
Pepper stands in her chair and it scrapes against the floor, bringing me out of my thoughts. "Tony won't tell me much, just that they're okay and-" she looks worried, very fucking worried, I know it's bad.
Tears threaten her eyes and she walks around her desk and leans back against it.
"I thought it was over, Thanos, he's dead, and yet there's always bigger forces at play."
I won't pretend to understand anything about Thanos, I didn't pay the attention I should've, I was going through my own things, self indulged with my mother's passing, I was no where near New York, no one else mattered, for me it already felt like the end of the world, why would I care if a mad titan came and snapped half of us into oblivion.
I didn't know what my dad was going through, I more or less hated him, I didn't care that he was in space for twenty odd days and announced missing before he managed to come back to earth, I didn't care he was doing whatever he was doing, for me that wasn't in my interest.
But I know it was big, I mean, the entire universe does, who knows who would be here if Thanos had succeeded?
I don't even know what to ask Pepper, I don't know enough to ask questions, I don't think I even want answers to the questions I do have.
"Is it of this world?" For some reason this is the only question I have ready to ask, because honestly it's common for the answer not to be.
Pepper shakes her head. "It's in Wakanda, so there's nothing being reported. I don't know if that's better or worse?" She throws her hands up in frustration and gets to her feet.
"They can handle themselves, they did so last time, these are weaker beings than him."
I can't handle where my imagination is going, I can't handle the thought of my friends, my family, in danger.
"I don't know how much more your father can handle." she leans back against the desk again.
My dad is getting older, but both Pepper and I both know his age will never be something that holds him back.
"They'll be home soon. They'll tell us how easy things were, that we worried for nothing." I'm not sure of these things myself but I say them anyway, I think Pepper needs someone to be stronger than she can be right now, she needs support from me just like she's supporting Morgan, Peter... she doesn't need to add me to that.
Maybe this, the worry, the panic, will build a bond between Pepper and I, as much as it pains me, there's nothing wrong with the woman, she's a great wife, an even greater mother, and she has shown nothing but kindness to me.
This could be a starting point for a relationship between us, sad really, that it could be our worry and concern that brings us closer together.
I excuse myself from Peppers company, agreeing to have dinner tonight and as I head back to my room, my feet take me elsewhere until I'm lingering outside Bucky's door.
I've never been in his room, it's his private space, that's something we value here, our personal space, but I just... I can't help myself as I reach for the handle and walk in.
Bucky's room is pretty generic as the rooms in the compound go, his bed is perfectly made, I look around and there's nothing out of place, clearly the military background has made him tidy.
I walk over to the bed and sit down on the edge, I wish he was here, even if it was to tell me to get out.
On his bedside table there's a picture of him and what I assume is his family, each member of his family as beautiful as the next, and I can't help but notice how now he's older than this picture that he looks so similar to what I assume is his father.
Next to the frame there's an old alarm clock which brings a smile to my face, any person from this century uses their phone as an alarm, but Sargent Ancient is still using a physical clock, and not a new one at that.
I'm on my feet and looking for more personal touches in his room, but they're few and far. There's only two other pictures on his drawers, him and Steve, and the howling commandos.
I wonder to myself if he has anyone more than his family and his old friends, surely this can't be the extent of the people he cares about?
There's a few books on his shelf, older books I've not heard of, history books, some classics, one of them has a piece of paper sticking out the top and I grab the book and open it to the page without even thinking.
When I look at the paper it's covered in multiple scribblings, the name George Orwell scrawled at the top. I read over the piece of paper and read each quote to myself, except one, one single one catches me off guard, is this an Orwell quote? Or a Bucky quote? Did he write all of these?
'If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.'
It's the last quote on the page, there's nothing on the back, the paper is creased as though he has scrunched it up in a ball and reopened it.
I contemplate what Bucky is hiding, the assassins? The history of hydra? I look at the book in which the paper was hidden, Animal Farm, my favourite book, I didn't recognise it on the shelf, this is an old copy. My heart feels like it's about to pound out of my chest, did he already have this or did he know it's my favourite? Surely it's only a coincidence? I have never told him my favourite book. I've never even mentioned George Orwell?
Nope, it's just a coincidence, he's an old author after all, Bucky was there when he released his works. Yeah, that's it, just a great, well loved author!
I place the paper back in the same place and put the book back on the shelf, I feel a little guilty invading his space like this and yet I'm not ready to leave, I sit back down on his bed and lay myself down on the side of his alarm clock. Assuming it's the side he sleeps, but as I rest my head on his pillow I notice how fresh it smells, there's no scent of him at all, I feel a little disappointed, his bedding has been washed since he's been away. Unusual, it's something we usual have the responsibility of ourselves, my dad made that clear to me when I moved in, my room is my own to keep clean and tidy, if I need to wash my clothes, my bedding, if my bathroom needs cleaning, I buy the supplies and I do it myself, this is no hotel. I was and still am glad of this fact, I like doing those things for myself.
My mind wanders to Bucky, Wakanda, the image of him fighting with faceless creatures, Steve by his side, in my imagination he still has long hair, I can't understand why, maybe because I've not seen him fighting without it, maybe because in the recent pictures I've seen of him it's only long hair and not short, he's only had the short hair for a few days. Not enough time for me to get used to.
It's dark when I open my eyes and realise I've fallen asleep in Bucky's bed, panic fills me and as I try to get up I feel a weight pinning me down to the bed.
My eyes attempt to adjust to the darkness but I can make out nothing in the room, it's pitch black, not a shred of light to be seen. I fumble for my phone and the weight on top of me moves, I lay frozen. My mind goes to Bucky, except the weight doesn't feel human, it doesn't feel like a person, a body...
I find my phone and shine the light on the weight on my waist, at first I think it's a huge duffel bag, the fabric feels slightly rough to touch, but then I feel skin, hair, I shine my torch when my hand is and I finally see his face, a huge jacket is drowning him, no wonder he didn't feel human, he's freezing cold, another reason he didn't feel human, there's no human heat radiating off him at all.
I put my hand on his face and he stirs, his eyes open and he looks at me in panic, "you're okay." I smile even though I'm sure he can't see me, Bucky's face lights up at the sound of my voice. "You're freezing, Buck."
He looks at the light from my phone and squints, "it might take me a while to warm up, aliens" he rolls his eyes at the last word and attempts a smile as if it's no big deal, I can't quite give him any type of humour back.
The weight lifts from me as he leans back to the other side table and flicks on a lamp, I finally see him fully, his lips are almost blue, his skin so pale it's almost translucent, I'm more panicked than before, now that I see him in better lighting and it's clear how he truly looks, nothing in me is worried about where he's been right now, only why he's so damn cold.
The worry must be written all over me because he leans forward and puts his gloved hands on my skin, "hey, it's temporary! It'll wear off, I'll be hot again in no time." He smirks and I finally let myself laugh with him.
"How do you even know that expression old man?" "I've been learning a few things here and there."
I can't help myself, I throw myself at him, my arms wrapped around his neck, literally clinging to him, the cold doesn't feel right against my skin and as I pull away he smiles, "I'm sorry, Eden." His eyes close and his skin begins to crack, his arm reaches forward towards me as his face, body, all of him turns to dust in front of me.
Chapter Text
I wake up screaming. I'm sweating head to toe, my skin damp to touch, expecting as I open my eyes to be set with a different scene, but shivers run down my spine as I realise I'm in the same room as my nightmare, except I can see much clearer and I'm alone. Bucky isn't here, I don't know whether that brings me slight ease? No, it definitely doesn't. I want him here.
If I knew where he was, if I knew he was okay, I wouldn't be having this nightmare, dreaming of him disappearing in a cloud of dust. Maybe speaking to Pepper of Thanos, what could've been, if he had succeeded, would I even know Bucky?
My eyes scan my surroundings, Bucky's old clock reads around 3am, I missed dinner, I don't feel hungry at all, maybe full, bloated, nauseous if anything.
Nothing in me can bring my feet to the floor, instead my arms grasp tightly onto Bucky's pillow and I let myself calm down before trying to fall back to sleep.
Deep breathes, exhaling for five, holding it for five, inhaling for five, eventually my heart rate seems to to slow to normal, and the counting has brought me out of my panic.
When I wake again it's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, no more nightmares, for today at least.
I feel safer in the daylight, the clock ticking away beside my head reads just past seven in the morning. The room is quiet besides the clock, I don't hear birds outside from in Bucky's room, I don't hear people mindlessly chattering, just pure silence.
No one will likely be awake yet, perhaps Morgan? She's normally awake by now? But perhaps it's just a little too early to check?
Bucky's bed feels like both a safe haven and a pit of doom as I think of his cold body from my dream. Goosebumps appear on my skin, my hair stands on end, I mentally joke to myself it's my spider sense, I don't want to admit that deep down I'm still terrified.
I gather Bucky's bedding and head down to the laundry, luckily he's pretty close to the end of the hall where we do the washing.
The warmth of the dryers is comforting, as is the smell of linen that fills the room and I find myself sitting in front of one of the machines scrolling through my phone, the pictures Happy had taken of my dads party are in my email, I hadn't bothered looking at them, but I find myself wishing he was here as I scroll through and take in our smiles.
Just come home and shout at me.
Why won't he let us know he's okay? Why won't he message and say something? Anything? Tell us who it is? What are they up against? Do they need help?
"Eden?"
My eyes shoot up towards the door, Peter is standing with his bed sheets in his arms, he looks amused to see me sat on the floor. "What are you doing?"
Uhhh...
"I'm just waiting for my sheets." I nod to the washing machine and he frowns and then smirks, even more amused, "aren't your sheets purple?"
The black fabric on cue slaps against the clear plastic door as if mocking me.
Can I get away with saying it's just cause it's wet? Fabric gets darker when it's wet right?
No I can't pull that off.
I sigh heavily, I can't bullshit, and why do I feel I need to?
"They're Bucky's." I put my head in my hands, I guess I see how it's amusing. To Peter at least.
Peter smirks and puts his own sheets in another machine, "but Bucky isn't here..?" He opens the door for the conversation I'm dreading and wedges it wide open.
"I was kinda snooping? Not snooping!-" how do I make myself sound better here? Peter smiles down at me, leaning against the machines and folding his arms, he does that look of his as if he's calling your bullshit, like he smelled something ever so delightful that's full of deceit, like a bouquet of roses that could explode bugs in your face. "I just wanted to feel close to him a little? Maybe? I fell asleep in his bed and I just had this nightmare.." Peter looks concerned, he sits down cross legged in front of me.
"What happened?" He gives me a warm smile and grabs my hand. Peter may be young but in some extremely comforting way he has such an old soul.
"I woke up and had this weird thing on me, this really strange material, but when I felt it, I felt skin and hair.. and it turned out to be Bucky, but it wasn't Bucky? And he was freezing, I'm talking Cap in the ice cold!-" I can't help my inner self trying to make a joke out of it. "He's talking to me and he turns on a lamp because it's pitch black, and I hug him and then he starts to hug me back... but then he just, POOFED!" I gesture with my hands for dramatic effect.
Peter nods slowly, trying to understand my madness perhaps. "He disappeared Peter, right in front of me. I just, I don't know where he is, and I don't think I should feel this bothered." Tears well at my eyes and I laugh at myself as I wipe them away, shrugging my shoulders as if to emphasize that I am just that unbothered. "Ridiculous right?"
Peter shakes his head no, "when my Uncle Ben died, and I got, yknow, all Spider-Man... I felt really lost. It took me a while to realise I still had people around me that care, Aunt May, my friends, Mr Stark, you guys.." he smiles kindly at me.
"You can still be sad, you'll never forget your mum, I'll never forget my Uncle Ben, or my parents- but you can be happy with new people too Eden. You don't have to always be sad. You can be happy if Bucky makes you happy."
There's that old soul I love about this sweet young boy.
I smile at Peter and squeeze his hand, "thank you Peter! We're all lucky to have you."
Honestly I think the fact he's so young gives him this optimism about life, and to have that around here, well I'm grateful.
"Let's get some breakfast huh?" He stands and pulls me up with him, giving me a hug that he allows me to hold onto a little longer than I maybe should, but he doesn't seem to mind. As he hugs me back I think we both realise how badly we needed it.
As we walk down the hall in quiet chatter, Peters innocence jumps out at me, "so why were you washing Bucky's bedding?"
I laugh, although I know there's got to be a typical teenage boy in there somewhere thinking perhaps it could be something else, I love that he's sweet enough to ask instead of assuming.
"I was sweating, the nightmare." I feel a bit embarrassed but Peter doesn't seem phased.
He leans over and sniffs dramatically, "yeah I can tell you were sweating." He pinches his nose and scrunches it up in fake disgust.
"Are you saying I smell Peter Parker?" I can't help but laugh as he pulls his most over dramatic shocked face.
"Oh most definitely. Bucky will get back and need to burn his bed."
I need this, I need to laugh with a friend, I think Peter needs it too, I know he feels pretty helpless right now especially knowing he has the power to help but wasn't invited. That must be pretty defeating, but my dad wouldn't of benched him for nothing, honestly I think Peter is more of a child to him than I am at this point.
"Bucky isn't going to know I was in his bed, god that would be embarrassing." I grit my teeth and pull a face at Peter which makes him laugh.
When we reach the kitchen, Pepper and Morgan are already in there, while my sweet little sister delves into her cereal, Pepper is looking at her phone in concern. As Peter and I enter the room, she looks up from the screen, her complexion pale, somethings wrong.
"Someone's injured, they're coming home." Panic, it feels like something has slammed into my chest. Who?
"Who?" The words don't come from my mouth, my head turns to Peter, his face is full of worry.
Pepper looks down, she speaks quietly, "I don't know."
Is that better that we don't know? We can't be concerned until they're home.. but until then, we don't know the severity of the injury, we don't know who is injured, we don't know if they're going to be okay, our minds can work overdrive with our own worst scenarios.
Is Bucky my worst case? My dad? Steve? Nat? And then there's Pietro, Wanda, I have too many loved ones in danger.
As if reading my mind, Peppers next words put me totally at ease, "whoever it is, Shuri fixed them, they're okay for the most part, there's three of them coming back, the rest are staying." She looks at me and pulls her lips together tightly, "your dad is staying."
Of course, "he wouldn't be Tony Stark if he wasn't the last to leave."
These words seem to bring some comfort to Pepper, I know my dad has been... a handful. So this small fact about him just shows his growth over the last few years, or, well I guess since he became Iron Man.
Peter and I get our breakfast and sit with Pepper and Morgan but everyone's pretty much silent, all of our minds else where, however, Morgan finishes her cereal pretty soon after we sit down and she runs off to her 'den', when Peter enquires about said den she lets absolutely nothing away and instead runs off giggling.
"When will they arrive?" I ask hesitantly as Sam enters the room, I'd pretty much forgot he wasn't in Wakanda with the rest of them.
I've been working with Banner in the lab everyday, he's been great at helping me keep busy, but Sam, normally I see him fairly often, but this last week.. I feel almost suspicious?
Maybe he's just been working dumbass.
Sam smiles at us all, grabs a cup of coffee and sits beside Peter.
His presence makes it feel somewhat more awkward between us all, when he speaks I almost want to cry "so who got the alien bite?"
Silence. All eyes on Sam, taking in what he's just said.
"What alien bite?" I can tell Pepper is trying not to raise her voice and the what was a smile looks like it's been smacked off Sams face.
"Uhhh you guys didn't know?" He's definitely put his foot in it, I almost want to laugh as he pulls the biggest 'oh shit' face I've ever seen, and for Sam, that expression is a regular occurrence.
"How do you know someone got-" "yes Sam, how do you know that?" Pepper interrupts Peters almost whisper of a question with her own, much, much louder question.
"Who did you speak to?" I ask, how does Sam know but my dads wife doesn't, he's literally like the head of the avengers, surely he'd tell her- That's exactly why he wouldn't tell her.
"Steve told me. He said someone got bit by one of the aliens and that Clint is bringing them home. He got cut off before he told me who."
ONE of the aliens?!? "There's multiple aliens?" I look at Pepper and her face resembles what I feel like on the inside, panic, terror, anger.
"Everyone is okay, it's over, the rest are following in a few days." Sam pats Peter on the back a little too hard and the poor boy jolts forward a little. He's been pretty quiet in saying anything about the situation really, for normally such a chatterbox I expect more.
"In fact, Clint and whoever else should be arriving about now." Sam looks at his watch and presses a button on the side before he stands up and exits the kitchen.
Peter, Pepper and I look at one another and hurry to follow the secretive little bird walking out towards the landing bay.
"He gives a whole new meaning to 'a little birdie told me'" I whisper to Peter as we hurry fast behind my step-mother, he stifles a laugh as Pepper shoots him a stern glare.
I feel a lot more at ease from Sam telling us they're all okay and returning, I don't think Pepper quite feels the same.
Sam is pretty spot on with his timings and Bruce is also waiting to greet those who are about to land on the jet as it almost suddenly appears in the sky and slowly sets down in front of us.
My heart is in my chest as the door opens and Clint begins walking out, holding someone by his side. A blonde mop of hair stands beside Clint and a little bit of me feels ever so slightly relieved, it's not Bucky, but it being Pietro who was injured still feels a little painful.
The third person that exits the plane is Nat, she gives Bruce a nod and he heads over to the jet with a few other men I hadn't noticed had also gathered behind to watch them land.
Clint let's Pietro go once they're on solid ground and the Sokovian lifts his head to give us all a warm smile. My breath catches in my throat as I take in his appearance, he has small cuts and bruises on his face but the most noticeable is an old bruise on his left eye which tells me he's had it for quite some time. Except he didn't leave with a scratch on him, have they been fighting this long? And what state are the rest of them in?
Pietro doesn't say much as he heads past us into the building and straight up to his room, I can't imagine how exhausted he must be. The others head to where most of the meetings in the building are held, luckily Peter and I are allowed to stay, I certainly wasn't holding my breath.
Once Bruce is back inside and everyone of importance is settled around the table, Nat begins to speak.
"Thanos' children were waiting for T'Challa as he left Wakanda, they infiltrated the city and attempted to destroy and steal vibranium that is mined there. Shuri's technology is second to none, Tony is still confused as to how they managed it. Pietro was hurt last night, we tried taking shifts, they wouldn't ease up until-" she tilts her head to the side, "well, Thor graced us with an appearance."
Clint is rubbing his face, Pepper is writing down on a notepad at what feels like super speed. Bruce chuckles at the mention of Thor but then he seems to collect his thoughts and instead his amusement changes to confusion, "they were waiting for Thor?"
Peters head goes from looking from one end of the table to the other, he's trying to piece this together just as I am, that is plain to see from his gone out expression.
"They've been having some.." Clint pauses and grimaces, "issues." Nat offers him an end to his sentence which he gladly accepts.
"What kind of issues?"
"Thor didn't quite divulge that. Once he made a grand entrance and helped finish the job he disappeared almost straight away." Clint seems frustrated and as I look at Nat it seems the feeling is mutual.
"But everyone else, they're okay?" I finally speak up and Nat gives me a soft smile as her eyes meet mine, "they're all good."
I feel like I can breathe easy, excusing myself now I know all is well and they're coming home, I head to the laundry to grab Bucky's sheets and put them in the dryer.
With nothing else to do but wait, I head to check on Pietro who when I knock on his door it pushes open, he's sat on his bed with his head in his hands.
"Pietro?" I make sure my voice is soft but loud enough for him to hear as I slowly make my way into his room.
I find myself a little disappointed there's no personal touches at all in here, it's as generic as they come, thinking back, this isn't the room he first had when I arrived here however.
Pietro lifts his head up to look at me as I kneel down in front of him and gently pull on his wrists.
"Are you okay?" His eye looks even worse close up.
His soft face allows a smile to pull at his lips, "much better to see you."
I hope he's always this sweet. "Do you need anything? Lay down, get some rest, I can't imagine how tired you are."
He lets me push him to lay down and I wrap his covers around him like my mum used to do for me when I was sick. The tightness of the duvet on your body makes you feel safe, at least it always has for me.
"Will you lay with me Eden?" Pietro looks up at me with sad eyes and I almost allow myself to.
"I'm sorry, that's not a good idea..." I feel I should add more but Pietro rolls his eyes which stops the words from leaving my mouth.
"So it is true that you have feelings for Bucky."
What? I assume panic is evident on my face because Pietro laughs, an uncharacteristic smug look on his face. "He is already very jealous, he does not like that you were with me first."
My brain feels like it's spinning, suddenly taking in his gross left eye, the way it looks so painful, like he was hit with extreme force, how he knows about Bucky, why he says Bucky is jealous, a normal black eye would never look that bad, why it looks like an older bruise.
Bucky punched Pietro because he made a comment about me, and he used his non dominant, vibranium hand to make sure it really hurt.
Chapter Text
I stumble from Pietros room, I surely must be wrong, Pietro wouldn't say something about me to Bucky, would he? And Bucky, why would he punch Pietro for it? I'm wrong, my mind is all over the place, there's no way that could've happened.
My feet move before I even know where I'm going, but when I find myself outside of Nat's door I can't say I'm surprised. She opens it on the first knock and doesn't linger before going back over to sit on her laptop on the bed.
One of my favourite things about living here is seeing all of these superhero's do such casual things, Nat chilling on her bed, Bucky dancing, Steve eating cereal, Peter playing with Morgan and being the sweetest almost brother to her.
"So how's things?" I smile and sit on the end of the bed, Nat looks at me through hooded eyes, scanning me for a moment before letting out a slight laugh.
"Tiring, you?" Damn her for giving nothing away.
"Y'know, panicking about my family, all in my head, trying not to drink myself silly just for something to do." I hope she senses the sarcasm.
"And how has that been going for you?" She smirks and closes the screen on her laptop.
I wonder whether to tell her about my dream, I mean she was in Wakanda with Thanos, maybe she can help me get to the bottom of it better than Peter or Pepper possibly could.
Nat frowns, as though she senses the inner battle I'm having with myself.
"You saw Pietro.."
Wait? What?
I narrow my eyes on my friend and nod.
"And what did he say..?" She drags out the last word and widens her eyes.
"Not much actually, but he mentioned me to Bucky.. apparently."
Nat seems to think about this as she licks her lips nods slowly.
"So I don't know everything, Pietro left when Bucky did, but things turned ugly on that jet, it's like Pietro had a whole new side to him apparently, Wanda still wouldn't speak to him when we left."
Hold on, Wanda isn't even speaking to her brother? What the hell did he say about me that was so bad? Surely me and Pietro having history alone wouldn't warrant such a response from Bucky, and especially Wanda.
Do I go back to Pietro and have it out with him? No, I feel like he'd get some weird satisfaction from that.
"So what did he say that was so bad?"
"No one would repeat it. And he said it in Russian."
"But you know Russian?"
"I wasn't there. And like I said, no one would repeat it. Steve doesn't speak Russian, he had to ask Bucky what Pietro had said, and when Bucky repeated it in English, they'd finally pulled Bucky off Pietro and gone back to doing what they were supposed to, but when he said it in English, Pietro smiled, and that's when he punched him, vibranium first."
Nat actually looks quite proud. She raises her eyebrows, leans forward and closes my jaw where it seems to of dropped to the floor.
"So no one but the people in that jet knew what was said?" I'm trying to get this straight.
"Correct"
"And who was in that jet? Bucky, Steve, Wanda, Pietro.. anyone else?"
I try think about who was here that morning, who else could've been there. Clint I'm pretty sure went with Nat and my dad, Banner and Sam stayed, "Rhodey?"
Nat purses her lips, "it was just those four."
So I have to wait until they're back? I can wait, right?
Wrong.
By that evening I feel like I'm going out my mind, as I lay in bed, having said nothing at dinner to anyone, I feel like I'm ready to burst. It seems everyone knows about it, except those four are the only ones that know what was said.
I just know it's not going to be as bad as what's in my head, I think I'm most curious how it agitated Bucky, was he defending me because he's my little bodyguard or whatever? Or is it because he has feelings for me?
Did I just assume he has feelings for me? Eek I need to pull myself down a few pegs.
Pepper comes to my room before she goes to bed, she hesitates by the door before entering, I've never quite seen her this way.
I tell her to come in and she sits on my bed with one leg over another.
"I spoke to Natasha, and Clint, I'm not sure I will speak to Pietro."
Understandable. I don't think I'd want to speak to him either.
I bite my lip, I know that Pepper knows pretty much everything about what goes on here. "As far as I'm aware, your dad doesn't know. Would you like me to keep it that way?"
"Honestly, I don't know. No one here knows what Pietro even said, if Tony finds out will he get mad at Bucky or Pietro?"
Peppers face softens, "I know you have feelings for Sargent Barnes-" ah fuck "but he can't go around punching people because they say something about you." She scrunches up her face, "I'm sorry, that's not what I mean."
"It's okay. I know he can't just lash out at people, especially a fellow Avenger." I don't know why but I always cringe when I call or refer to any of them as Avengers, they aren't those heroes to me like they are to others, to the public.
"When we know what was said, you can make the decision to tell your father. Until then," she smiles softly, it reminds me of my mother's kind face.
"Are you okay?"
I take a deep breath, and I finally open up to Pepper in a way I never thought I would. I tell her about Bucky, the dream, how when I was remaking his bed earlier I felt so embarrassed about it all.
Although I tell her about things from the last few weeks, I don't open up about my feelings towards my dad, I know that Pepper isn't the right person for that, and that it would be incredibly unfair to put that on her.
***
People seem to avoid me the next day, Peter even seems to stand awkwardly when I enter the room for lunch. I feel it's best to not get into conversation, when I'd seen Clint this morning it had been a less than pleasant encounter where he tried to apologise to me, as if on Pietros behalf?
I eat in my room, door locked and away from everyone and anyone that could try and talk to me. There's only one person I want to hear from and he's miles away in another country.
***
The next day I'm awoken by banging on my door, no voice asking to come in, no telling me who it is, just banging.
I'm hesitant, half asleep, everything in me tells me not to open the door as I stand a few meters in front of it. But I'm in the avengers compound, I'm in probably the safest place in the country.
The door opens with a bang and Pietro is stood in front of me, his breathing heavy, his eyes hooded as he looks at me, this isn't the Pietro I knew.
He steps in the room and I can't help the way I move back wards, he closes the door behind him.
"Pietro, what're you doing?" My voice is shaky, gone is the kind man that I spent my time with when I first arrived here.
"I need to talk to you." He keeps moving towards me, purposely walking at a slow pace, I think he knows I'm frightened, if he went as quick as he could he'd definitely have me terrified.
"So talk." I feel my back hit the wall, I can't move back anymore. I swallow hard.
"Please, sit." He puts his hands up, gesturing he means no harm, he nods towards my bed and I scurry over, placing myself back against the headboard.
"Pi-" "no, I will talk first."
I gulp. He sits on my bed, closer to me than I would prefer. I want to run, I want to scream, but a small part of me also wants- no, needs to know what he has to say.
He puts his hand towards mine and grabs it, his fingers stroking over my own, my entire body feels cold, goosebumps raise on my skin. Something is off here. Extremely off.
There was a time Pietro would touch me and my body would be grateful for him. There was fire there, heat between us, and now it's like the room is ice. I don't want to be around him at all.
"What is the difference between me and him? Hm?"
Although he's asking me this question I don't think he actually wants me to reply, he tilts his head to the side as he looks at me.
"Was I not good enough for you? Too young? Is it because he is more-" he seems to think of the right words "fucked up?" His face is full of hatred and mocking.
"Do you like brown hair? Oh! Is it the arm?" He's playing with me, his voice is spiteful but full of sarcasm.
I say nothing.
"Oh come on." That head tilt again.
I'm scared, I'm rarely scared, where I live, the company I keep, I don't need to be scared. But now...?
"We had fun, didn't we?" He leans closer to me, his grip on my hand allowing him to pull me closer. I do my best to level my breathing, to not let him know I'm scared of him.
I'm failing epically.
The way his accent pulls through when he speaks, that Sokovian accent once had me weak at the knees, and now it's seemingly adding to how intimidating he is.
His face is close to mine, he eyes me up and down.
"Is it because he's a super soldier?" His voice is less than a whisper as he laughs at his words.
"I thought we could be something, together, when I came back, and I saw you with him, I don't believe that he is better than me."
I just let him talk, I don't know what I could say that wouldn't completely make him lose it.
Pietro moves his hand that isn't holding mine and wraps it around my neck, my breath feels short as he squeezes harder, an evil smile growing on his face as he sees how much I'm beginning to struggle.
I see movement by the door and I don't miss a second in grabbing my knife from under my pillow with my free hand and putting it to his own throat.
He laughs, "you know I let you do that?" He smirks at me and I smile back.
"I was counting on it."
Pietros face drops as he's pulled backwards from the bed, and restrained under his sisters hands. The red glow around his entire body makes the sinister look on his face even more scary.
I breathe a sigh of relief as Wanda looks at me, "go find your father please." I nod and run out of the room while I can.
My dad is walking down the hall towards my room as I exit, my hands rubbing my neck, "hi!" He greets me with a smile.
"Wanda needs you!" I feel bad that I'm not greeting my father with a smile and happy greeting, but to be honest I'm still scared. Wanda is powerful, but Pietro is still her brother.
"Hi dad, I see you're home! How was the mission? Are you safe? Not hurt at all? Great! Glad you're back!" He mocks me and then raises his eyebrows at me.
"I'm sorry! I'm glad you're home, but Wanda-" "why does she need me? Everyone always needs me" he rolls his eyes. He's not taking this seriously.
"Pietro is in my room! She's got him..." I do a gesture to mimic Wanda with my hands and he looks at me confused but then his eyes widen on my neck as he gently pushes me to the side and heads to my bedroom.
I'm left alone in the hall, running down to a place I know is safe, somewhere I know he will be.
When I get to Buckys room his door is open wide, I almost think it's cause he knows I'm coming, it's normally closed.
When I peak around the door way I notice hes naked from the waist up, and I scan his body, arm first, the scratches on his left shoulder, I haven't seen Bucky without a shirt before, I think his arm may be the reason for that.
I watch the muscles contract on his back as he lifts something on his drawers, I assume he's been in the shower, cause his skin is ever so slightly glistening, his jeans hang just right on his hips, below the waistband of his black underwear.
I swallow hard, and it hurts, as I realise I'm just stood here admiring him without his knowledge. Quickly I step forward and knock on the door.
Bucky turns quickly and when he sees me he flashes me a relieved smile, he walks over and goes to hug me and then stops as my eyes go down his body, a small laugh escapes him.
"Sorry, I'll put something on," he goes back to his drawers and pulls out a black shirt and pulls it over his head, his stomach muscles tighten when he lifts his arms into the shirt.
Stop ogling him Eden, damn it!
I walk further into Bucky's room and I notice small details I hadn't before, there's a book on the shelf about Wakanda, I think maybe he's brought it home with him, another about Captain America. I smile knowing it probably helps him remember a lot of what he's forgot, that and the history books I'd caught him studying before.
I feel arms around my waist and Bucky's face buried into my shoulder, "you have my favourite book up there." I tell him, still so sure it's a coincidence.
I feel Bucky smile against the bare skin on my shoulder, "I know. I bought it a few days after we met."
Confusion fills me, a part of me feels a little happy that he bought it because of me. I turn myself around in Bucky's arms and put my hands on his hips, he steps back just slightly so we're not pressed against each other and takes a deep breath.
"I never told you it was my favourite?"
"It was the most worn book in your room, that normally means it's a favourite."
"What if you were wrong?"
"The only time I've been wrong about you is when I first properly met you."
Oh really? I don't know if I want to know.
I look up at him with hooded eyes, "what were you wrong about?" I bite my lip and he moves his hand up and pulls it away with his thumb, his skin against mine makes my body ignite.
"I thought you weren't the lost girl I had initially thought you were, that maybe you were just a bratty girl with daddy issues." He smirks at me and I can't help the smile that graces my lips as his blue eyes light up in amusement.
"I've missed you." The words come out quieter than I intended, I feel brave as I say them and when he leans forward and kisses me gently, I'm glad I allowed myself to say them.
"I missed you too." My heart feels like it's beating faster, I know he means that by the way his fingers skim gently up my back slowly. A simple act but the way he's looking dead into my eyes..
His face drops a little, "we do need to talk though, Eden."
It feels like my heart is in my throat, I know we need to talk, we need to talk about a lot, "so tomorrow I'm taking you out, to apologise for missing our date."
I frown at him and he smirks, "you don't think I forgot? I hated not being able to see you before we left."
He's a freaking sweetheart.
Bucky opens his mouth to speak and then stops, his eyes go past me to the door, panic.
That's when I hear it, not a gunshot, but a bang all the same.
Chapter 16
Notes:
Please read the entire chapter before trying to google translate haha! Please let me know what you think, it means the world to me.
Chapter Text
Bucky's hands seem to grip on me tighter, but not in a way that hurts, more that he will put himself in front of me if I'm in harms way.
As he steps back further his eyes see what his height didn't allow before, "why is your neck red?"
His eyes are looking over all of me, looking for any other injury, he grabs my wrist in his hand and I didn't realise Pietro had such a tight hold until I see the red ring around it.
"Eden, why are your neck and wrist red?" His voice is raised slightly, it's panic racing through him, I can see it in the way his face changes, his nostrils flare, his jaw tense.
I swallow, I'm scared, but it's not of Bucky, it's of what I think he might do if he knew it was Pietro that hurt me.
It's as though he reads my mind when I blink hard, he's past me and out of the room so fast he could almost challenge Pietros speed himself.
When I chase after him I have to run to keep up as he reaches my room before I do and walks back out before I can get to him, Wanda and my dad have clearly taken Pietro elsewhere, I know Bucky wouldn't be walking out if he was still in there.
"Bucky! Please calm down!" I grab his arm but he's pure rage, he runs past me and down the stairs, I don't know where he's going and I can't keep up with the speed he has.
"STEVE! NAT!" I don't know where they are or if they can even hear me but I shout them still, hoping they can do more to stop him than I can.
Pietro can be punished for hurting me, but I won't allow Bucky to cause himself any trouble defending or protecting me.
Steve appears at the bottom of the stairs before Bucky can reach the ground floor and he grabs both his friends arms, Steve looks at him then me, "what's going on?"
I don't have words, what do I even think Bucky is going to do? Steve looks at my neck then at Bucky who when I reach him looks frighteningly like images I've seen of him before... as the Winter Soldier. Images that, as I'm reminded of, I become scared.
"Buck?"
I hate the way Steve looks at him, confused about his anger, his behaviour, my neck, my worry, it almost makes me angry myself, it seems to click only a second later as Steve realises it isn't his friend that made these marks on my skin.
"Pietro?" Steve frowns, looking at the ground, trying to understand why he could've done this, I know because I had the exact same look on my face when I was stood outside my room after finding my father and sending him to Wanda.
At the mention of his name Bucky grunts and tries to push through his friends grip.
I can see the way Steve has to use force to stop Bucky from pushing past him.
Nat runs out a door to the right and the momentary distraction allows Bucky to slip from Steve's grasp and he's down the hall before I can register what's happened.
The three of us run after Bucky, but I realise we're too late as we enter the training room and Clint and my dad are holding him between them, Steve joins the pair as Bucky's super soldier strength is just a little too much for them.
I don't know what to do, tears are streaming from my face, and I don't even realize I'd been crying, I'm stood firmly in the door way, his anger is terrifying me because I know despite his wrong doings, Wanda will still allow no real harm to come to Pietro, and she can do a lot more damage to Bucky than his anger is allowing him to comprehend or consider.
"Bucky will you look at her!" Nats voice is piercing and demands attention of everyone in the room.
I can barely take a breath as sobs wreck my body, I'm not even sure why I'm crying so hard, I'm not a crier, and yet these last few weeks I've cried twice, it's almost embarrassing.
The group of them all turn and look at me, but anger surges through me suddenly as Bucky's angry face looks at me, he takes me in and his anger disappears, instead of fighting to get to Pietro he's pushing them off to get to me.
He reaches me and pauses, "I'm sorry."
I can't control the heavy breathes that wreck havoc on my chest, I feel like any words that escape me will choke me.
"Eden?" My dad walks towards us and looks between Bucky and I.
Looking at the concern on his face as he looks from me, his daughter, to this once angry and now full of sorrow man, my knees weaken beneath me and I step into my fathers arms, burying my face in his chest just to stop them all looking at me for a second.
His arms don't embrace me straight away, I wouldn't expect them to, since I can remember I've never hugged my father, it isn't something we've ever done, having him by my side for photos at his birthday party is as close as we've ever gotten.
I hear people in the room leaving as I finally feel his arms wrap me up in them.
"Sargent Barnes, why don't you take Eden to her room?"
What? Why?
I look up at my father, frowning and concerned, but he just gives me a reassuring smile, "I'll be up soon."
I look at Bucky, he's looking at me as though I'm made of glass, he puts his hand out to me and it's almost like I'm passed between these two men who I am still struggling to comprehend my feelings for in the most different of ways.
"I'm fine." I say and walk past his hand. I can't bare to let him hold my hand when I'm this angry with him.
I walk through the hall, past Clint, Steve and Natasha, they say nothing. I walk up the stairs and to my room, I allow Bucky to follow me, it feels like that first day I met him as he walks behind me and grabs my door handle before I can do so myself.
Words are clouding my mind, I want to scream at him, I want to cry, and yet I want to allow him to hold me and never let go.
Bucky shuts the door behind him as we enter my room. I stand in the middle of the rug, between the bed and the desk, turned away from him, I rub my palms against my face and squeeze my eyes shut, holding in my temptation to scream out my frustration.
Finally I face him, and he's stood waiting, nervous, against the door.
I've never seen Bucky nervous and I have to admit, it's slightly endearing.
I step towards him and he seems to tense up, I try to smile as I shake my head at him and hold out my hands, he closes the distance between us in two strides and encloses me in his arms as if he'll never get the chance again.
"I'm sorry Eden, I'm so sorry. I don't ever want you to be scared of me." He speaks into my neck and I can't help but let out a breathy laugh against his chest, I pull away and hold his face in my hands, my eyes scan him, I can tell he genuinely believes I was scared of him.
"Bucky! I wasn't scared of you, I was scared for you."
His eyebrows pull together, confused, he doesn't understand.
"Wanda is Pietros sister, no matter what he does. If you went in there trying to kill him, you would be dust-"
My choice of words, my dream, I feel sick. I have to swallow down the bile that's came up my throat, tears fill my eyes again.
"Hey hey, I wouldn't of killed him." He holds my own face and wipes the tears as they fall down my face. A cheeky grin pulls at Bucky's lips.
"Don't smile at me!" I pout. His eyes soften as he looks down at my lips.
"Are you so sure I'd never hurt you doll?" That cheeky grin of his, I'd do anything to see him smile at me like this every day.
But is now the right time to tease me? When I have tears rolling down my face? Or maybe he just thinks taking my mind off the subject onto something else is a good idea, either way my mind is now falling straight in the gutter.
I stand on my tip toes, my mouth close to his, my breath low and steady, "I think you would if I asked you to."
He looks me dead in the eyes, he's just slightly turning red.
He laughs and shakes his head at me, "and you think I'm dangerous?"
We both laugh, as if we're both finally able to breathe easy, our foreheads resting against each other. I close my eyes for a second before opening them and looking at him while I take a deep breath, Bucky's blue eyes have me mesmerized as he looks at me.
"I think Tony may know you're more than just watching over me for work."
Bucky smiles at me and laughs through his nose softly, "he does."
Uhhh, I beg your pardon Mr Barnes?
I receive a laugh at my shocked reaction, "he told me on the jet home, 'if you can love her and protect her at the same time, I trust that she'll always be safe.' so I think he knows something at least."
Words fail me, how could he possibly know anything is going on when I don't even know myself if there's something between Bucky and I?
I wreck my brain with questions and I can only think of one indicator, but I have to be sure.
"Does he know you gave Pietro a black eye?" I feel my jaw tighten with nerves and Bucky nods.
"Does he know what Pietro said to you?"
Bucky shakes his head, "I made everyone on that jet swear not to tell your father." I frown at him, I don't understand why any of them would agree to that, and then as he seems to read my thoughts yet again and explain, it dawns on me.
"Wanda agreed on Pietros behalf, because what your father would to do him would be far greater than any damage I could do."
"And Steve?"
"Steve agreed because he knows that too," he smiles to himself, "and he has too much respect for both father and daughter to never repeat those words ever again."
My curiosity peaks in again, "and those words? What were they?"
Bucky bites his lip, he pulls away from me and stands back.
My eyes darting over his facial features, watching to see if he'll give anything away.
He was the winter soldier, he won't give you anything.
But my subconscious is wrong, Bucky does let on things with his facial expressions, and I have myself wondering if he does it purposely because he knows I'm searching for those small signs like when his jaw tenses or his eyes narrow.
But now there's nothing. He's just looking at me dead pan, there's not even a little nostril flare.
I step towards him and he moves backwards away from me.
"Bucky?" I feel my heart beat rising, he looks away from me and at the wall.
He doesn't want to repeat it, but I don't understand, there's nothing I can think of that is so bad he couldn't tell me.
I step closer again and this time he allows me to close the distance. My hands are on each side of his face and I make him look at me, his pure blue eyes are sad as I've ever seen them.
"I can't say those words to you, not like that."
The curiosity is starting to annoy me now, they were said about me and I deserve to know.
"I will think no less of you for repeating what he said, it is not truly you saying them Buck."
He closes his eyes and speaks
"Ona prinimayet eto kak shlyukha."
"And that means what?"
Bucky grits his teeth and clicks his neck to the side before licking his lips, now the nostrils are flaring.
"Bucky! What does it mean?"
He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.
"She takes it like a whore."
Chapter Text
It's not what I expected.
At worst I thought he'd call me some sort of name, but not quite like that.
I look at Bucky who is studying me for a reaction, movement, tears, who knows what he thinks is going to happen, or what I'm going to do.
Really, I have options here, I can go try beat the living shit out of Pietro, but being honest with myself, I don't have the strength, stealth or skills to pull that off.
My second option would be tell Bucky that he can do it for me, however then we have a repeat of the whole fiasco that just happened and my own worrying of what Wanda could or would do to him.
I like my third option the best, I feel, personally, that Peter especially would be proud of me choosing the grown up option.
Internally I think it out, the best course of action, and the first part, is making sure Bucky is okay with what he's just had to repeat to me, him being from a time that sort of language was absolutely unacceptable, I know in his head he'll be beating himself up for just repeating it.
I let a smile pull at my lips and Bucky frowns.
"I'm sorry he said that to you Bucky, that must've been really shitty to hear, and I'm sorry I made you repeat it to me."
His mouth drops open, one eyebrow raises, he's literally staring at me, absolutely gone out, this wasn't how he expected I'd react.
"You're not mad?"
"No."
More staring at me.
More confused face.
"You don't want to go kill him?"
"I think you attempted that well enough.." I laugh to myself as my mind goes to Pietros black eye, "and hurt him enough, on my behalf already."
Bucky lets out a strained laugh.
"Why are you so calm? It's freaking me out."
I pull him in to a hug and then look at the deep blue of his eyes, my fingers run through his hair.
"I'm calm because Pietro got what he deserved for saying that. I never expected he'd be able to say such a thing, and honestly, I'm more hurt than I am angry."
I softly smile and stroke my hand over Bucky's cheek bone.
"However I know that can't of been nice to hear about someone you're, well, doing this with." I laugh at my own poor attempt of describing what's between us and Bucky smiles in the way that makes his eyes crease at the corners.
"I want to make sure you're okay, and I want you to know that that, was not at all like this. Pietro clearly can see that, and he doesn't like it."
He gives me a soft side smile.
"A few weeks ago I know you would've stormed down there and-" "I'm not who I was a few weeks ago."
"You are, that little firecracker is going nowhere." He taps the end of my nose with his finger to make me laugh and when he licks his lips I have to step away from him.
"I'm gonna shower and then why don't we do something?" I try distract myself from my brain screaming at me to kiss him.
Bucky eyes me suspiciously as I sneak a quick glance at his lips, "I can meet you back here in an hour?"
I nod, "yep, that works."
You should've just kissed him dumbass!
***
I look at myself in the mirror, we made no official plans, and yet I'm nervous, there has been no mention of it being a date or even like one, and yet that's exactly what it feels like.
There's a gentle knock at the door and I turn quickly, this mornings events still fresh in my mind. I'm relieved to see Bucky, he's wearing a fresh white tshirt, a colour I haven't seen him in yet, it highlights the slight tan he has to his skin perfectly.
"I like white on you." I blurt out without thinking and he smiles shyly, he's not the greatest at taking compliments.
"I like that dress." He gives a compliment in return and I look back at myself in the mirror, the summer dress seemed fitting to the warm weather we're having today.
"So what did you want to do?" I smile back at Bucky and he beams at me, extending his hand for me to take hold and follow him.
Butterflies feel like they're going wild in my stomach as I link my fingers in his own and allow him to pull me behind him.
We go down the hall and the stairs to the ground floor, he takes me out to his car in the parking lot and pulls his car keys from his pocket.
"Come on!" He grins opening my door for me, shutting it once I'm in and then quickly getting in his own side.
"Where are we going?" I smile at him but I just receive that big cheesy grin as he scrunches his nose at me and the corners of his eyes crease.
"I'm taking you somewhere folks just after my time went for dates."
I frown but sit back and allow him to concentrate on the road ahead.
"Is this a date?" I ask after a minute of silence and he breathes a laugh.
"Would you like it to be a date?"
"Hm, I asked you first!"
Bucky laughs at me saying this, "this is our first date I'd say."
Nothing could stop the way my lips pull the biggest smile on my face, I look out the window in an effort to hide it from Bucky but I know he's seen it.
The last thing he'd do is risk embarrassing me by pointing it out but instead he puts his vibranium hand on my lower thigh, "the first of many."
I see him smile brightly himself as he side eyes me and turns a corner.
"So what is this old man date, are we going dancing?" I question but he pulls a face and shakes his head.
"I'm afraid not." He laughs and I think back to his dancing at my fathers party just last week, it seems like so much longer.
"You're a good dancer, the next Elvis."
He looks at me and fakes judgement, "I think I'm the next Mariah Carey with all the singing you had me doing."
Wait...
I look at Bucky confused and he laughs, "I do pay attention to the things you say you know. Im trying to play catch up on everything remember, but I'm going to watch Harry Potter next!"
Nothing stops the excited noise that escapes me, I think my entire childhood was consumed by my love of Harry Potter.
"Not without me! Okay? I want to watch your reactions to EVERY scene."
He nods, totally knowing this isn't something he will get out of.
"But you need to read them first!" I insist and he glances at me as we reach a red light.
"I already have."
Glee, it's like my face lights up, "when?" My voice is a little loud as excitement gets the best of me.
"I read the first a few years back, the others when I got the chance, I just finished the last book."
My head spins, did I miss them in his bedroom? Surely I'd notice my favourite series?
As always it's like he's in my head, as he begins driving as the light turns green he puts his hand back on my leg, the cold metal refreshing on this warm day.
"I didn't buy the books, just borrowed from the library."
He goes to the library? Such a simple act and yet so sweet.
"Why didn't you buy them?" Curious as ever I can't help but ask.
"I like to read, but I don't have the space for all the books. I only buy books that mean something to me."
I feel my entire body warm, happiness overwhelms every inch of me, from my head to my toes, like sunlight is flowing through my veins.
He bought my favourite book, because it means something to me, it means something to him.
I put my hand on the back of his head and stroke over his ear and hair with my thumb, I don't feel the need to say anything, from the way he leans into my touch I know that he understands everything I don't have the words to say.
We drive in silence, enjoying each other's company, looking at the scenery as we go down these country roads.
Bucky drives and I stroke my hand against his skin, slowly, repeatedly, him leaning into my touch like it's second nature.
Finally we pull into a low road and I see a board on the grass verge.
DRIVE IN MOVIE:
FOREST GUMP PLAYING!
1:00pm
Nothing in me had registered the time, how it's taken an hour to get here, I realise I've missed lunch.
"Do they do food here?" I ask as my belly grumbles right on cue, Bucky nods as he pulls in the queue to pay and get in.
"I looked ahead, they do vegan food." He says it so casually as he looks out his window down the line of cars in front of us.
"Yknow I can eat like, chips and stuff."
He looks from the line to me, "you think I'm just gonna let chips be your only option to eat."
Bucky shakes his head at me and that warm happiness fills me again.
"Well then, what do they do here?" I quiz and he puts his hand in the seat pocket behind my chair and pulls out folded pieces of paper, "here's the menus."
I'm confused, the menus are these folded pieces of paper?
I open out the papers and realise what he's done, he's printed out the web pages for multiple food trucks, this sweet man wanted me to be able to see my options and printed them out on damn printer paper for me.
"Bucky!" I almost squeal at him and he looks at me confused, "what?"
"You printed them off!"
"I know, I thought you'd want to look at what there is to make sure it's okay before we go in."
He looks nervous again as I look at him in awe, the nervousness an expression he wears that is even more adorable each time I see it. The forethought he has is nothing I have ever experienced.
I move my hand to his chin and pull his face gently to look at me, leaning over in my seat, he lets me guide him to lean over towards me. I press my lips against his and I feel him smile.
"Thank you." I whisper and kiss him softly again.
All I can think of is Nat reminding me he is a man who dated in a totally different time and I finally realise what she meant, properly, as it is clear as day from just this one, first date.
When we get to the front of the queue I've read the menus and have told Bucky the food sounds incredible, he seems pleased with my approval and tells me it's all on him as he pays the ten dollar per car admission fee.
There's three food trucks on site and all the food sounds so good, we park and head over to get our dinner before settling in for the movie, I ask Bucky what he's having and he links his hand in mine, "I'm having what you have."
As I look at him curiously he nudges into me playfully, "I want to try the food you like."
Damn you James Buchanan Barnes for being the most thoughtful human alive.
We walk up to the truck I favored the food of most and join the queue of only a handful of people.
"So what are we having?" Bucky asks looking at the menu on a board next to the truck, "what do you think?" I smile, wondering if he'll guess correctly.
He eyes the sign and squints through the sunlight shining down on us.
"Hoisin burger?"
He doesn't sound so sure and looks from me, back to the board, "ah, no. Tofu Buddha bowl!" He looks at me proudly and I nod, "how did you know?"
"Tofu is what you're almost always eating when I've seen you have dinner."
He's ridiculously observant, but in fairness he's only seen me eat dinner a handful of times.
I shrug, "I like tofu."
Bucky smiles at me and steps up to the front as the woman at the truck shouts for the next customer.
It's only when her face drops that I look at other people around us, until now I hadn't been interested in looking at anyone else, my focus was on Bucky.
And yet it seems, so is everyone else's.
It's a hot day, his arm is on full show, I know that often when he's in public, he does his best to hide it, long sleeves, gloves. But today that's just not an option, he'd boil over, it's early June, he has no option but to just wear a t-shirt.
Bucky tells the girl our order as she tries to compose herself and he also gets us two bottles of water and two sodas. As the woman tells her colleague in the truck the order she whispers something else we don't hear and the man turns and looks out at Bucky as he hands over the money.
My attention is on him again as I go from looking at the staring people around us to his tense face, this is hard for him, he isn't one to do things like this, not in public, not on full show.
I'm holding his right hand, but as we stand to the side and wait for our order I purposely move to stand on his left, I put my hand in his metal one and place my other hand on where his bicep would be, not hiding it, but showing these nosy onlookers that he does in no way need to conceal himself.
Bucky looks at me and I feel him watching as I stare down anyone that even attempts to look at him funny.
No one will make him feel bad about being here, not about this, not today.
I feel him lean in to me and he holds my face in his hand and plants a kiss on the top of my head, "Thank you Eden."
As I look up at his eyes I know that such a simple gesture has really meant something to him and I shake my head, "I will never let anyone hurt you."
In my head it sounded better, stronger, more protective, because I mean it, the way he tensed up as he realised people were noticing him broke my heart. Not him, not this ever so sweet man, I don't care if he could do more damage with his tiny vibranium finger than I could even with my knives, no one is going to hurt him when I'm here.
"You're cute when you're protective." Bucky softly speaks so only I can hear him and I lean my face against his arm, despite the sun beating down on it, the black metal doesn't absorb the sun, as Bucky tells me when I question it, "vibranium is the coolest metal in the world, literally."
Nerd.
We get our food and I intentionally stand taller as we walk back to the car. Bucky copies me and we look like total fools puffing out our chests and walking through these rows of cars.
Once back in the car we begin our food while we wait for the movie to start and Bucky tells me that he's never seen Forest Gump but it's on his list that Sam had given him and it was labeled 'must watch'.
"I planned to bring you here last week sometime for one of the later showings, I got you the menus and then, well, work." He rolls his eyes playfully and takes another bite of his food.
"We're here now, and I've not seen this film in years, I'm excited to watch it, and watch you watch it."
The huge screen in front of the cars turns on finally and we both wiggle in our seats to comfortably face forward, still eating our tofu bowls with eagerness.
"Do you like the food?" I ask as I watch Bucky eat another forkful of his vegan meal. He nods, "a lot better than I expected."
Happy to get his seal of approval we finish up our food as the movie begins to play.
I step out to pee and dispose of our rubbish at a part of the movie I remember the most well and won't mind missing and as I get back, Bucky is so excited when I get in the car, "his mum had Elvis in her house."
His eyes are glued to the screen, I can tell how much he's enjoying it, the way he told me about that specific part because of our Jail House Rock dancing, he has a heart of gold.
Most of the movie is me simply watching him watch it, glancing at him at certain scenes and seeing his reaction, Lieutenant Dan losing his legs, when Forest decides he doesn't want to run anymore, his shrimp business with Bubba, when Forest becomes a dad, it's an odd feeling watching someone see such a classic film for the first time, experiencing these movies like they're brand new, watching him is a joy.
Bucky beams at me when the film finally finishes, "did you like it?" I ask although I know full well he enjoyed it and he nods, smiling.
"I gotta go to the toilet before we leave." He leans over and kisses me on the cheek before exiting the car and heading off in the direction of the toilet block.
I pull out my phone and see a text from Nat.
'Enjoy the movie, and the date;)'
I can't help but laugh, of course she knew about this. Before Bucky gets back I quickly call her but she doesn't pick up, assuming she's busy I don't try again and instead call Steve, I haven't really spoken to him since the party and find myself missing my friend.
He doesn't answer either and although a little worried I tell myself they're just busy, they aren't the type to always be on their phones, they're busy people, Avengers. I cringe, still hating the phrase.
I jump as Bucky opens the car door, and when he climbs in I let out a relieved laugh.
"You okay doll?"
"Mhm, just a little jumpy I guess."
He gives me a reassuring smile but I know he can tell how on edge I am, even as he places his hand on my leg again as he's driving, I flinch just slightly and Bucky looks at me concerned.
"He won't hurt you again, I won't let him."
I appreciate him saying so, but the damage Pietro intended has been done, it's been lingering in the back of my head all day.
"I just wish I knew why he said it." I mumble quietly and instantly feel bad, he isn't my concern anymore, and I don't want Bucky to feel bad especially after such a lovely date.
"Thank you for a lovely afternoon." I change the subject, I won't Pietro intrude.
Bucky looks at me and smiles, it's not totally sincere but I understand why, he's worrying about me.
"I can't wait for our next date."
Now that warm feeling returns as my face is plastered with a grin from ear to ear, another date with Bucky, nothing sounds better.
Chapter Text
It's nearly five when we finally get home, and I find myself not wanting to go inside back to regular life and instead stay in Bucky's old car, having him talk about the 1930's and which car he almost bought when he was finally able to drive.
He has told me so many things about his life before, with Steve, and I find myself again missing my friend.
As we pull into the usual parking space, the compound seems unusually quiet, something I think I'm not alone in thinking.
"Where is everyone?" Bucky locks the car behind us and puts his hand on the small of my back as we walk into the main entrance of the building.
Normally there's people walking about, agents are more common than anyone, there's plenty of people that work here.
I frown, I hear no talking, no commotion, I can't even hear the sound of what is normally some argument going on somewhere or another.
Bucky slides his hand in mine and I look up at him, a frown on his face, he's concerned, I can tell by the way he slightly pulls me behind him.
When Sam appears at the top of the stairs I almost jump out of my skin, Bucky however doesn't flinch, am I that on edge or does nothing bother this man?
"What's with the hand holding? You guys together?" Sam asks as he jogs downstairs and I remember Bucky's hand is in mine.
I attempt to drop it but he holds on, "I'm supposed to protect Eden."
He states it so matter of factly, I almost find myself sad he doesn't tell Sam about our date.
"Where is everyone?" I ask, stepping from behind Bucky's back and pulling my hand from his finally.
Sam looks at me as he reaches the bottom of the stairs, "working."
I can tell he doesn't trust me, I've always known Sam wasn't keen on me, he's a protective friend, a great man, when I first arrived here, he thought I was after Steve, he thought we were too close and our friendship was more than what first appears.
"Right, well I'll be going." I hastily say and run upstairs, I linger behind a wall at the top that hides me from their sight but allows me to hear them. Most of the things I've found out that I shouldn't know are from hiding behind this wall, these extremely smart superheroes aren't exactly private with their comings and going's.
"Buck what are you doin'?"
"What?"
"Starks daughter."
"What about her?"
"She's trouble, you know what she's like, don't let her suck you in."
I hear Bucky laugh slightly and I hold my breath, listening to what he's about to say.
"I know exactly what she's like, I know exactly what she's done-"
"And yet you're still letting her get to you like a damn Venus fly trap."
Bucky doesn't respond and I want to feel mad at Sam but I'm not, I totally understand where he's coming from. I am-was, like a Venus fly trap.
"It's different. She's different."
"No, she isn't."
Sam sighs heavily, so loud I can hear it.
"Look man, I just don't want you to get hurt. And she'll hurt you."
He's wrong, I won't.
"No she won't."
My heart feels like it lifts as he defends me.
I hear footsteps up the stairs and I know I can't go anywhere without being spotted by whoever it is.
Sam appears finally and he knows I've heard it all, I motion for him to follow me and we go to my room.
I sit down on my bed and pat beside me for Sam to join me.
The silence between us until now is broken when he tries to apologise but I won't have it.
"No, everything you said is right. You don't owe me an apology."
Sam just seems to nod.
"You're right to defend me to your friend. I have no defense for my earlier actions."
"I still shouldn't talk about you like that, I shouldn't of-"
"Called me a Venus fly trap?"
I laugh and Sam joins me, "yeah."
We sit silently and although I've told no one else, I feel the urge to talk to Sam, something in me knows that despite his already formed opinion, that if he knew the truth, we could form a better... friendship? Maybe even if it just means he doesn't think so badly of me?
"I have only slept with Pietro since I got here."
I just say it, letting the words flow, I feel Sam's head snap to look at me.
"Before him I had a boyfriend from when I was eighteen until about two years before my mum died."
Sams mouth opens as though he's about to speak but I feel I should keep talking or I won't get it all out.
"His name was Derek and he was my crush from when I was about 14, he was four years older than me and I was so crazy into him, when I turned eighteen he finally took me on a date and I was so happy." I laugh recalling the memory of it.
"For the first few months he was amazing, after that he was violent and abusive and I did nothing without his say so. When we broke up he had pushed me down the stairs when I told him I wanted to reconnect with Tony."
Sam is just listening, I can see his face out the corner of my eye but my vision is focused to one frame on the wall, if I look else where I will cry, and I refuse to cry when talking about that man.
"He told me 'he didn't want you then, what makes you think he wants you now. Look at the state of you, you're disgusting.' I don't know if you've ever been in or seen an abusive relationship but you either die, get the balls to leave, or..." I pause, I can feel myself choking back tears, my head fills with the memory of blood in my hands.
"Or, you end up killing them in self defense."
I whisper it because I can't bring myself to say it any louder.
A tear rolls down my face and I brush it away, I get the courage to look at Sam finally and he looks angry.
He doesn't say anything so I continue talking. Staring at the frame on the wall again.
"I don't know if you know but I had a black widow type woman train me how to use knives because of my dad, my mum got me the best teacher she could. Well Derek.. he picked a kitchen knife up one day and threatened me with it. I told him I wasn't afraid and fought back and he lost it, I have a scar on my stomach from where he caught me. He went for me a second time and I used the self defense I'd learnt from my classes to disarm him but I was so shaken and I was losing blood and I missed, I stabbed him through two ribs, here."
I point to the space on my own ribs, "I hit a lung and he died almost instantly."
I look at Sam again and he shakes his head, a frown upon his face.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be, I'm not. If it wasn't him it would be me."
He nods and gives me a sympathetic smile.
"So, what happened? If you don't mind me asking.."
I take a deep breath, I've recalled the before events previously, but not the after.
"I knew it was bad, when the police and paramedics arrived I was shaking and crying in a corner, I was covered in blood."
I try brave a smile as I know more tears are falling over my face.
"The police phoned my mum, and when she arrived, she called Tony. When I told them what happened, when they looked into my history, they luckily believed me, I'd been at the hospital 13 times in the last year alone with injuries he'd gave me, his neighbors had reported him for being violent twice and had called the police multiple times because they knew he was hurting me."
Sam nods, understanding everything I'm saying and really listening to me when I speak.
"My dad tried to make some calls to help, he rang my mum and said he'd get me the best lawyer and he'd get me off and he was keeping it from the press. He didn't ask how I was, he didn't come visit as I was in hospital for a week after being stabbed, I think he just thought I was a murderer and he didn't want to be associated with me, he didn't know about the rest."
I turn to Sam and smile through tears, "that's why our relationship is the way it is. He only learnt the truth when my mum called him screaming at him for it. I hadn't spoke to him in over a year, I didn't speak to him until she died.
Sam shakes his head, "I didn't know that."
"No one does, only my dad, Pepper and myself."
He frowns, "Steve and Nat?"
"No. And Bucky doesn't know either."
"Why are you telling me?"
I guessed he'd asked this, I'm obviously not telling him for no reason but just to tell him.
"I don't want to hurt Bucky, everyone assumed what I was doing when I went out, I just went along with it for some reason."
He nods again.
"I think I liked the idea of people thinking I was living that sort of lifestyle, because it was more fun and adventurous than I was truly being yknow? The drugs and drinking was real, everything else was just kissing." I laugh, I don't know why but I do and Sam laughs with me.
"And Pietro?" Sam asks what I expect him to.
"Pietro was real, he was the first person to treat me how I craved, but as great as Pietro is-" I frown.
"Was." He knows why I change it.
I think of Pietro and I know that what he's done is going to hurt much longer than I'd like, I can't just sweep it away.
"Pietro was like a friend you grow up with that you think you're in love with yknow?"
Sam stifles a laugh, "yeah I know. And you think it'll be this great romance!" He exaggerates his hands in the air and chuckles.
"But it's like kissing your brother?" I laugh with him.
"I guess I forced it because I thought I'll never get that chance to be so loved again."
I know Sam gets it, but then he frowns.
"But all the guys who were watching you? That's why they were fired?"
Laughing as I remember each of them, I shake my head. "I guess I tried to live up to my reputation, a few of them were willing, but I could never go through with it."
I look at Sam and I feel gross for admitting it. "The last one before Bucky was the hardest to crack, and he was kinda like a challenge, he found me naked in his bed and I thought I'd managed it, like I can do this, I'll be what everyone thinks I am."
Sam smirks, "what happened?"
"We kissed and it almost went further," I laugh again, "he told me he was engaged. I was outta there."
We both laugh for a while, Sam seems to enjoy my little tidbits about my previous keepers.
"Bucky makes me feel different" I say after a while and Sam smiles without his teeth.
"How?" He asks and I know he's still being overprotective of his friend.
My mind goes to our date this afternoon, the printed menus, the way he went out of his comfort zone with his arm out for me, how every moment of it, he was thinking of me and how much I'd like it.
A smile pulls at my lips, "like sunlight is in my veins." I think of the thoughts I'd had earlier, when he told me that he bought my favourite book especially.
"You know he printed web page menus off so I could see what the food was like today?"
Sams eyes widen "printed them?" He laughs and I burst out laughing too, "yeah printed! Like the full web pages, yknow like when you'd go on journeys as a kid and your mum printed the directions."
I find myself really enjoying laughing with Sam and his company.
"I knew right then that I was definitely hooked." Everything Bucky Barnes has done thus far has me hooked.
"That was it huh?"
I can tell now that Sam wants to know more, his face gives him away easily.
"There's been many things, it was just our first date." I can't help the way I play it down, it's habit.
"Nah nah don't play with me I know there's something. What was the first thing he did? C'mon what is it?"
"We were kinda like, teasing, flirting and stuff.. there was different moments where I questioned it."
"But? When was it, c'mon Eden." He's giving me such a cheeky smirk.
I know the exact moment, from the very second I knew he was under my skin and I could think of nothing else but him.
"I was in a club, getting high off some pill, dancing with some guy, and I kissed him, and in my head it was Bucky. And I opened my eyes and-" I scrunch my face up and laugh into the air.
"I was disappointed it wasn't him, and then he was there when I looked out into the crowd, and it felt like there was no one else I'd ever be happier to see."
Sam smiles a cheeky, knowing grin.
"He'd cut his hair and I made him dance with me and we almost kissed and then my dad came and brought me home, he got mad at me cause I forgot to read to Morgan. Everything with my mum and-"
I bite my lip, "it all just hit me and I sat in my shower sobbing. Bucky picked me up, he wrapped me in towels, made me get dressed then sat me between his legs and brushed my hair."
Tears are filling my eyes again but now it's happy crying.
Sam pulls me into a hug, "I'm sorry we've never talked properly before."
"I didn't make the effort either, I'm glad I got that off my chest though."
"Me too."
Chapter 19
Notes:
I have extra chapters written in Edens POV from before the main story and others POV of different points from before the story and during it.
Chapter Text
Sam checks I'm okay before he finally leaves and I appreciate him asking, "you shouldn't of had to share that with me, but I'm glad you did. If you need anything, you know where I am."
"Thanks Sam!" I smile at him and feel like a weight has lifted from my shoulders, not only have I gained a friend in Sam, but getting my history off my chest and sharing it with someone else here.. it makes me feel a lot closer to Sam than even Steve or Nat.
He's about to leave my room when I remember something, "Sam?"
He turns to me and smiles, "yeah? What's up?"
"Where actually is everyone?"
Sam shakes his head and laughs, "working!"
"But there's literally no one here."
He shrugs, "your father has made a bunch of changes and it's got everyone busy. Don't worry about it."
I smile but I feel a little worried, what changes?
Once Sam has finally left I find myself wanting to find Bucky, when I look at the time it's getting late and I haven't eaten yet and when I walk into the kitchen, Bucky is sat alone having his dinner.
"Hi!" I feel awkward? After the most amazing afternoon I don't know why I feel so nervous seeing him.
He looks up from his plate and a huge grin pulls at his face, "hey doll!"
When he looks at me I feel so bold, like I'm invincible.
"What've you been doing?" I ask and sit down opposite him.
"I was just doing some training with Steve, what've you been doing?"
So Steve isn't working like Sam said? Or maybe he was and then stopped to train with Bucky?
"I've just been chatting with Sam, we had a little heart to heart." I laugh at myself, I couldn't imagine doing that this morning.
Bucky frowns at me, "Sam?"
"Yeah!"
"Sam Wilson?"
"Yes!"
"Falcon?"
"Yes!" I laugh at his puzzled face, "I grabbed him when you guys had spoken."
Bucky bites his lip, "you heard us?"
I nod, feeling bad for eavesdropping, "yeah. Thank you for defending me."
He finishes his food and puts both his hands together under his chin, "he's wrong about you."
The way he speaks, it's so stern, like he genuinely believes it. "He knows that now, he apologised."
Bucky smiles and narrows his eyes on me, "what did you say to him?" He grins at me suspiciously.
I can't help but laugh at his accusatory stare, "the truth!"
His eyes narrow even more, "what do you mean?"
I feel my stomach churn and I bite down hard on my lip, Bucky knows nothing about my life before I came here really, and yet what he does know, he thinks nothing of. In Bucky's day, I'd of been an absolute social pariah, no one would speak to me because of my behaviour, I'd be an outcast, and yet Bucky hasn't brought that opinion into the future with him, in fact I'd go as far as to say he would've never even had that opinion even at that point in time.
Words don't come out of my mouth, how do I sit and tell everything I just told Sam, to Bucky, the difference between them, I care about Sams opinion, but not like I care about Bucky's.
I feel the tears burning in my eyes and he gets up from the table, he comes and sits beside me, pulling our chairs towards one another so my legs are between his.
"Hey," he smiles as he grabs my hands, I know I look insane right now, I'm crying because I told Sam the truth? My life makes absolutely no sense at this one moment.
I start to laugh, because I realise how ridiculous I must look, and Bucky looks at me like I'm insane.
"Eden, what's wrong?"
"What I told Sam-" I can feel myself choking up, "I haven't told you yet."
He smiles at me and shakes his head quickly, "Eden, you don't need to tell me everything that you tell everyone else!"
Am I relieved? Or do I just have to wait for another moment to tell him?
He puts his hand on my face and I lean into his touch, everything about him is just so ridiculously comforting, even the feel of his warm skin on my face makes me feel so safe somehow.
I do my best to smile at him, "why are you so nice?"
He laughs and scrunches his nose up so his eyes crease at the corners, possibly my favourite expression he has besides smiling.
"I'm no nicer than anyone else Eden."
"You are, you're like a super nice soldier."
He full on laughs, "a super nice soldier huh?"
I can't help but laugh with him, the way he fills the room with not just his smile, but his laugh, his entire personality, I've never seen him laugh so big, and it wasn't even meant to be funny.
"Why are you laughing?" The giggle within me is released as I watch him, "are you drunk?"
He shakes his head, "no, you're just so cute."
My cheeks flush, I can't help but smile at his compliment, he puts his hands on either side of my face and pulls me in to kiss him, I can feel the smile on his face even through our mouths connecting like this.
Every part of me feels like it's connecting to him, like a snake wrapping around it's prey, his tongue against my own, the way his hands are holding my face, every thought in my mind is him.
"Ehem!"
Both our heads snap to the door.
My eyes go wide and I pull my hand to my mouth to cover the smile on my face, Bucky laughs and shakes his head in his hands letting out a low moan.
Steve stands with his arms crossed leaning against the door frame, he's smirking at the pair of us.
I've not seen Steve in over a week, the last time we spoke I wasn't the most pleasant, I was mad at him assuming Bucky and I were more than friends, him catching us like this... I owe the man an apology.
"Friends huh?" His smug smile is so typical Steve, there's nothing bitter behind it at all.
I bite the inside my cheek, I can't hide my amusement. Looking at Bucky he just has a huge smile plastered on his face as he turns to look at his friend.
"All friends kiss Steve," I grit my teeth and begin to laugh, I can't hold it together.
Steve shakes his head and comes to sit where Bucky had previously been, "so when did this happen finally?"
I look at Bucky and he gestures for me to speak, he knows full well he's dropping me in it.
"Uh, what exactly do you mean?" My voice goes higher as I fake innocence and both men laugh.
"Are you together?" He asks and I look at Bucky and pull my eyebrows together, pouting while I think.
"No?" I question and Bucky shrugs, "I don't want anybody else."
My eyes widen, here he goes again, making me feel like my insides are full of sunshine. I look at Bucky and he has the most suggestive look on his face, I look at Steve and he looks both impressed and proud of his friend.
"We've been on one date, so.." I'm laughing as I speak because I feel like all eyes are on me, in fact I know they are.
"And?" Steve looks at me with the smug grin, his expression is making me laugh even more.
"And.. we'll see." I look at Bucky and wink, he smiles and shakes his head at me.
"Did I just interrupt your first kiss?" Steve asks and the faces Bucky and I pull at each other must give us away cause Steve chuckles. "When was it?"
He's literally me, I question anything and everything I can, all the gossip the better.
I know I'm gonna sound like a total dick when he finds this out, there I was denying we were anything but friends and I had been kissing Bucky the very afternoon of my dads party.
"About four hours before I said that me and Bucky were just friends." I side eye Bucky and he's still gently laughing to himself.
Steve's eyes close as he nods his head and starts smiling, "so you were playing it down?" He looks up at me with hooded eyes and he smirks.
"I didn't know if it was just a moment or something more? And then once I got annoyed with you, we kissed again outside at the party."
Bucky links his hand with mine under the table and squeezes his fingers against my own, I can feel his eyes on me, and him holding me in some way is comforting.
"We're still figuring it out, I don't know." I suddenly feel shy and intimidated by the whole situation. Even with Pietro, I hid it until afterwards, after Derek it just seemed the right thing to do. Being public with a romantic relationship of any kind to the rest of my loved ones makes me slightly uncomfortable.
Steve gives me a half smile, he knows me well enough now to know when I'm feeling awkward and in my head.
"I could see it happening as soon as you met." As he looks between us he looks proud, and I don't know whether it's of himself and how he saw this happening or of the pair of us.
I narrow my eyes and look at Steve. "How?"
The question comes from Bucky, not myself.
"Edens eyes went wide when she saw you Buck, I could tell she was checking you out. Normally she rolls her eyes and walks away."
Excuse me what? I start laughing in shock, "what? They did not go wide!" I feel under the spotlight.
Steve smirks and his eyes widen as he looks Bucky up and down, the look is definitely something I did, I recognise it as soon as I see it in his face and actions.
The noise that comes out of me as I see Steve's impersonation of me is inhuman and I bury my head in my hands. "I recognise that!" Bucky claps his hands while he laughs and I find that as we all laugh together I feel so content.
"What was Bucky's?" I have to know what his tell was.
Steve stops laughing and looks at me and softly smiles.
"Bucky talked about you like you were the only woman he's ever met, that although you were screaming at Tony, he couldn't take his eyes off you."
I look at the man beside me as he strokes the skin on my hand with his thumb, how he's looking at me now, like he'd help me conquer the world if I asked him to.
"I'm sorry all you got were wide eyes. I swear there was more than that." I smile softly at him, I wish I could tell him how much he has come to mean to me in just a few short weeks.
"You can tell me later." He winks at me and I blush, flirty or dirty comments don't bother me normally, but coming from Bucky they make me feel like butterflies could burst out of my stomach.
I look at Steve to distract myself from my mind going to a very adult place.
He raises his eyebrows and looks at his friend, I know Bucky is wearing the most charmingly devilish look on his face.
"Behave yourself." I say it without even looking at him and Steve conceals a laugh, I speak without forethought and immediately regret it "has he always been like this?"
I know they both understand where I'm coming from and the way Steve's face changes takes me back slightly, "never. Only with you."
My eyes go back to Bucky and he smirks at me, "only with you."
Part of me thinks they're joking, surely he's had feelings or been in a relationship before that has or had a lot more meaning to him.
My eyes roll before I can help it and I feel bad knowing Bucky has noticed it.
I feel the doubt creeping in the pit of my stomach, why don't I believe him? Why do I think I'm being totally hoodwinked?
Because you've head the 'only you' before.
My subconscious is right, I have heard it before, that and so much more, so even though it's Bucky saying it, and Steve, who I trust more than anything, everything in me feels like it deflates.
I smile at Bucky but I can't put my heart into it, and he squeezes my hand within his.
The two men seem to notice my sudden mood change and begin talking between themselves.
Bucky continues to stroke my hand with his thumb as he talks to Steve, I find myself sitting there silent, getting into my head, overthinking every word said and every interaction between Bucky and I.
When Sam enters the room I use it as an excuse to run back to my room and hide, I pull my hand from Bucky and I can't even look at him as I head to the door. Sam gently grabs my arms and whispers to me as I pass him, "hey, you good?"
I nod and scurry away to my room. As I get there I make a point of not crying, I don't need to cry, I refuse to cry again.
As I get myself ready for bed I feel guilt overwhelm me, Bucky said nothing wrong, Steve did nothing wrong, I fucked my self over when he was being so sweet to me. I pull on my favourite hoodie and head down to the kitchen, a part of me hopes they're all gone, and yet a part of me, a bigger part hopes they're all still there.
When I'm nearing the kitchen I hear their voices and I hope to god I can apologise to Bucky and Steve.
As I enter I go straight to the cupboards to make a hot cocoa, they carry on their conversation and I'm relieved as I work up the confidence to go back over.
I'm facing away from the three friends when I feel hands on my waist, and I'm spun to face Bucky as he encloses me in his arms.
I look at his kind blue eyes and the soft expression he wears, this close up to him I lose every word in my head.
"Are you okay?" He whispers down at me and I give him my best unsure but cute face.
"What's wrong?"
I wonder how to go about this but decide to just blurt it out, be honest, "you said 'only me'."
Bucky nods and looks confused "yeah?"
"Don't say it if you don't mean it."
He smiles softly at me and kisses my forehead "did you not hear Steve? I meant it."
I look down slightly and he pulls me into him tighter and rests his chin on my head.
"Get out of your head, please?"
He moves to meet my eyes and as I look at him, Bucky rests his forehead on mine, "trust me I meant it." He smiles at me so wide and whispers, "It'll only ever be you."
Chapter Text
As I look at Bucky's eyes I see there's no hint of hesitation or reservations, he genuinely means it, and it's like both my mind and body finally relax.
I put my hands on his face and kiss him, only quickly, remembering Steve and Sam are also in the room. "Thank you," I whisper and he pulls me with him over to our two friends sat at the table.
"Hey, sorry about earlier." I hope neither of them are annoyed with me but Steve stands and encloses me into a hug, "we're here for you, alright?"
"Thanks." I smile back at him and Sam extends his first out to me to bump it, "we're good homie."
Bucky plops me down in a chair and goes back to grab my drink for me, I notice the three of them are drinking beer, besides a little hint at the party, I've never seen Bucky drunk, and I'm curious.
"So what you guys talking about?" I ask only to be nosy.
"Sam is telling us about a girl he had a crush on when he was younger." Bucky grins, I know that despite Sams defense of him, the pair still aren't the best of friends, but as I watch them now, I'm happy to see they seem to be getting there.
"What was she like?"
"She stomped around like she owned the place, hell my sister said she'd stomp on me if I ever had the balls to ask her out."
I can't imagine anyone intimidating Sam.
"Did you ever ask her out?" I ask and his expression changes.
"Hell yeah, she rejected me faster than Steve can do a press up."
The four of us laugh, and I feel the anxiety I was full of beforehand simply melt away.
"What about you Steve, was there anyone before Peggy?" Sam turns him and Steve shakes his head.
"With Buck beside me? I didn't get a look in."
I look at Bucky and smile, he puts his arm behind me on the top of my chair and laughs, "yeah I've always been good looking."
Laughing at him, I believe he's absolutely right, I bet he's had women flocking around him his entire life, and I don't blame them.
"None of them really pulled me in though, and I had no time, I was always looking out for baby Steve." He drinks his beer and I can't help but watch his neck, jaw, his lips against the bottle, jheez!!
"I didn't get in that many fights." Steve pouts and Bucky smiles as if he's letting him believe that to be true.
Sam chuckles as he finishes the last of his bottle and goes to grab all three of them another.
"What about you Eden?" Steve turns to me and I freeze, "who was chasing after your heart before Bucky... and Pietro?"
I look at Sam and I know fear is clear all over my face, he gives me the smallest reassuring nod.
"I had a boyfriend called Derek until a few years before I came here."
That's it, unless they ask you don't need to say anything else.
"What the hell did he do to lose you?" Bucky asks softly, he's being sweet, but the question puts me on edge. I feel bile rising in the pit of my stomach, my eyes are on Sam again and he smiles, I know he's silently telling me that it's okay.
"He was abusive." I say and add nothing more, Bucky tenses and even Steve seems to sit further upright in his chair.
"Where is he now?" Bucky asks and I know he's probably planning some plot of revenge in his head.
I swallow hard and allow myself to speak the truth that up until this afternoon I had kept to myself for years.
"He attacked me, he caught me in the stomach and in defending myself I... well, I- I stabbed him in the ribs trying to disarm him."
Steve's eyes widen, I can't even look at Bucky.
"W-what?" Steve looks gone out, I've never seen him so shocked.
"Uh, yeah, he lost too much blood and uh.. he died..."
I'm not telling them the way I told Sam, but that was me being completely open, this is... well this is me being terrified the man with his arm around me will decide I'm no longer the person he thinks I am and am not worthy of his affection.
"The guy in Poland... you didn't even flinch." Steve almost whispers as he recalls the memory.
"I'm sorry Eden." The voice comes from beside me and I feel relief, I look at Bucky and he almost looks like he could cry.
"It's okay, like I said to Sam, if it wasn't him, it would be me."
Bucky and Steve's attention both snaps to Sam, "Sam knew?" Bucky asks, his voice raised a little.
I take his hand and I'm scared he's going to pull it out of my grasp.
"This afternoon, it's what made him realise-" I allow myself to laugh as I fight back tears, "that I'm not a Venus fly trap."
I can tell Sam wants to laugh but he's still being looked at by both Bucky and Steve and I know he feels some sort of way knowing this before either of them.
"Why did you never tell me?" Steve finally turns to me, his expression soft.
"I didn't know how. What was I supposed to say?"
He nods, understanding that I just couldn't find the words, nerve, hell I don't know.
I look at Bucky and he's still looking at Sam, "I was scared to tell you."
He looks at me, realising I'm talking to him, his face is a mixture of anger and sympathy.
"I didn't want you to think differently of me."
Bucky looks at me, his eyes scanning every inch of my face, and then he gently laughs, "Eden, I was an assassin.. for years, you killing an asshole in self defense is not gonna put me off."
I let a smile pull at my lips as he strokes over my hair, I look at Steve and Sam and they're both smiling at us both, "you don't need to hide that anymore."
The way I know Steve means that, I know he'd defend me to the death that man, I nod in thanks and blink away tears brimming at my eyes.
Sam coughs, "is there anything else?" He's grinning ear to ear, his eyes light up as he's smiling.
I laugh to myself and look at Bucky, he's confused, "what?"
"I've not been sleeping around since I got here."
"WHAT?" Steve slams his hands down on the table and I laugh, "you all thought that's what I was doing, I just let you."
His mouth is wide open, and then he laughs, Bucky smiles knowingly at me.
"Why didn't you defend yourself?" He pulls his lips together in a kind of pout and I wanna smush my face against his.
"When I got here I'd go out and I heard the agents saying I was sleeping around and assuming all the scandalous things I was doing, and then you guys started thinking it," I gesture to Sam and Steve and they look a little embarrassed, "and I was like hell I don't care if they think that's what I'm doing, let them think it, and I had my own fun with it."
The three of them are laughing, Bucky more I think at the fact I totally fooled his friends.
Steve is full on belly laughing, "what else do we not know about you?" He beams at me for more information.
"Uhh I think that's it?"
Sams eyes narrow and I have to remember if I had told him anything else of importance.
There's nothing I can remember and I shake my head.
"You guys feel free to spill your secrets though!" I laugh and hope the subject is taken off myself.
All three of them shake their heads, "oh come on!" I turn to Steve, "you don't wanna tell me you've slept with Nat?"
Bucky and Sams necks almost break looking at Steve.
"I'm not saying he has... I'm just hoping!" I chuckle and they both look disappointed as Steve rolls his eyes and shakes his head, "I'm afraid not."
Damn it, I was so hoping for them to be a secret thing.
"Has anyone here got it on?" Sam asks and I hope to god I'm not the only one.
The four of us look at each other trying to think, "Bruce and Nat?" Steve says and my eyes widen, I'd totally forgot about the pair of them.
"Oh my god! And uh, Steve and Sharon.."
Bucky and Sam almost choke on their drinks as I bring up Steve's former fling.
"Yeah..." he grits his teeth but is smiling all the same.
I look at Sam who's face is hilarious as he's trying not to laugh and can't help but burst out laughing, making all three of them laugh along with me.
This is what happiness is, laughing with your friends.
"Vision and Wanda" Sam says and we all grimace, I know Visions death still greatly affects her.
***
It's late by the time we all head to bed, the boys are all giggly and slurring as the alcohol has taken over them.
"Are you gonna put him to bedddd?" Sam slurs his words as he jokingly prods Bucky in the ribs who does a bad job of batting him away.
"I think I might have to put you all to bed." I laugh, looking at Steve almost asleep leaning against the wall.
Sam turns and sees the drunken state of his friend and laughs. "I'll put him to bed, we gonna cuddle." He does the funniest little dance as he walks over to Steve and prods his chest.
"Not so strong now, Cap-tain A-mer-I-ca!" The way Sam speaks when he's drunk, making fun of things more so than when he's sober, he pretends to jab at Steve multiple times and as Steve doesn't respond, Sam stands straight with a smug look on his face, "HA HA HA, I beat him!" He pretends he has a shield on his arm and starts doing some air shooting with his other arm.
I look at Bucky and he's giggling away to himself as he leans on the stairs, "heh, Sam." He chuckles to himself and I can't help but smile.
"Right, you guys, bed!" I order and Sam let's put a sarcastic "oooooo!"
Bucky hooks his arm around me and as I laugh at Sam I almost drop him.
"You two have.. fun." Sam winks and pulls Steve from the wall as I roll my eyes.
"Come on old man," I say as Bucky rests his full weight on me.
He has the coordination of a spoon right now.
"Let me walk you home pretty lady," he smiles like a dork and I can barely understand him as he pulls himself from me and does a swirl that makes him cling to me for dear life.
"Don't let me do that again!" He looks like he's about to be sick.
As much as I'd love to let him walk me to my room, I know when you're drunk you need your own home comforts and I also don't fancy him being sick in my bathroom.
I manage to trick Bucky in his drunken state to go in the direction of his own bedroom instead.
He has his arm around me and is giggling to himself over god knows what, "can I stay with you?"
I look at Bucky while trying not to let him stumble and I smile, before I get chance to respond he speaks again "just to cuddle."
This man, he is too sweet.
Bucky is looking down at me, face like a puppy waiting for a treat.
"If that's okay?"
He looks so sweet and innocent and I nod, "I'll stay with you."
"No I'll stay with you."
He still thinks we're going to my room despite us heading in the opposite direction.
I laugh but leave him with it until we get to his room and he finally realises.
"This is my room." He slurs, standing upright and frowning with a pout, allowing me to sit him on the bed.
He begins undressing and I find myself staring at him.
Bucky's gaze is on me, although hazy and bloodshot, he seems to be able to keep his eyes connected to mine as he pulls his shirt off.
I can tell I'm breathing faster, my heart rate is definitely going up.
Allowing my eyes to drop I look at his torso as he sits on the bed, his body looks good even sat down, maybe that's just because my opinion of him is so high, Bucky could never look bad to me.
He puts his arms behind him on the bed, leaning back on his hands, he's taunting me, the smirk on his face makes that clear, and when he sticks his tongue out and licks his lips when I meet his his eyes again, I know drunk Bucky is nothing but trouble.
I walk over to him and push him back on the bed, "you're drunk."
He smiles up at me and extends his hand to me, I take it and he pulls me down onto him. "No I'm not."
I kiss him and he grins, "you brought me to the wrong room."
"I didn't know you were going to want to stay with me." I grin and sink to his right side, both our legs hanging off the bed, my hands on his bare skin, full view of his perfectly in shape torso, heat is radiating off of him.
"I always want to stay with you."
Bucky closes his eyes and smiles to himself, "if I could cuddle you every night I would."
The smile that tugs on my face whenever he says yet another sweet thing appears, I could cuddle him every night if I could too, but right now I need to better prepare him bed.
I manage to get up and past his outstretched grip, a drunk super soldier does not have the strength of a sober one.
"Come back!" He whines and I laugh as I shut his door and turn out the lights, the moon and security lighting shine dimly through the windows, just clear enough to see where I'm walking.
As I get back over to Bucky I can't help but notice the way his body looks in the mixture of dark and light, I could admire him all day, I'm even pretty sure he'd let me.
"Bucky you need to get in bed, move up to the top, your legs are hanging off." I whisper and he begins doing the most hilarious drunk shuffling to get himself to lay properly on his pillows. He pulls at his belt and my eyes widen, I'm glad he can't see me as I swallow hard.
"Don't you get any ideas doll, I'm getting comfy." I can hear the amusement in his voice and his smile is evident even in the dark.
He shuffles off his jeans and drops them to the floor before sitting up and squinting as he looks for me.
I try not to look at his lower half, although his thick thighs and black boxers leave me feeling extremely hot and bothered.
Bucky stretches out his hands and the noise he makes as he tries to find me brings me out of my thirst and I laugh.
"You're getting in aren't you?" He's a needy drunk and I don't object one bit.
I put my hand in one of his and he pulls me on the bed and into his side, I feel grateful for my hoodie and pajama bottoms, knowing that feeling his warm skin on mine would be absolute heaven and torture all at once.
"Are you happy now Barnes?" I lay my head on his arm and he nods vigorously. "I'm always happy with you."
Chapter Text
When I wake, I'm enveloped in Bucky's arms, my face is pressed against his bare chest.
I can't believe how warm he is, how warm I am, he's like a giant hot water bottle wrapped around me. I attempt to move out of his arms, even just to take my hoodie off and snuggle myself back into him.
It's difficult to pull myself from his grip, as soon as I move even slightly he puts his arms around me tighter.
"Bucky.. Bucky.." I say softy to try and wake him but he doesn't move, I manage to adjust myself so I can touch his face with my hand.
Gently I stroke over his cheeks, over his eyes, across his soft lips where he's gently snoring. I press my lips to his chest as I stroke my thumb over his eyebrow, he doesn't stir so I do it again, repeatedly kissing his chest, collarbones, neck.
I finally hear him grumble and his eyes flutter open, "you need to stop doing that."
Kissing him again softly once more, he begins to smile, "why?" I question and feel his arms loosen around me.
Bucky's left hand is on my face and he makes me look at him, leaning down to press his lips against my own, softly and slowly and then more forceful, his vibranium fingers runs through my hair and down to my neck as he brings me closer.
He pulls me towards him with the arm around my back and my arms come free and allow me to hold him in the way I need to, one hand on his face, moving to his neck to pull him as close to me as I can, the other on his chest, I can feel how heavy he is breathing as he smiles against my lips.
We are tangled together, limbs and lips locked, breathing in every inch of one another, connecting on a level I could never of dreamed of.
Bucky and I pull away at the same time and smile at one another, it's only now I realise I'm sat on his lap and reminded he is pretty much naked beneath me, only the thin fabric of my pajamas keeping us apart,
My breathing is heavy and I know my cheeks are flushed as I rest my forehead on his, his arms wrap around me again, kissing my jaw before I pull myself off him, smirking, and stand from the bed and go into Bucky's bathroom.
I stand against the door after closing it, taking heavy breaths, my mind full of sex and Bucky and all that could've been.
Neither of you want that though, not yet, not really.
I splash my face with cold water and as I pat my skin dry I can hear him moving about behind the bathroom door.
Quickly turning on the shower I undress and step in, allowing the hot water to run down my back.
Once I'm finished I grab a towel and realisation hits, I have no fresh clothes, I tuck the towel tight under my arms and open the door slightly, "Bucky?"
No response.
Damn it.
I look out further and he's not here, crap.
My mind races to where he's gone, but I convince myself it'll be to get coffee, give me privacy, something along those lines, Bucky wouldn't just leave me in here otherwise.
I walk over to his draws, wondering if he'd mind me going through them to find something to wear, I'd give him it back, just something to get to my room.
I hear the door open behind me and feel my shoulders tense as I hesitate to turn around.
"Eden?" Bucky's voice instantly fills me with relief.
Spinning on my heels I smile at his curious face, "what're you doing?" He smirks.
"I didn't want to put on my old clothes and I wondered whether you'd mind.. it doesn't matter."
He walks over to me slowly and I realise he's holding some of my clothes in his hands, I frown and look up at him, he clearly had no issue going through my drawers.
Bucky notices me frowning and he holds out the clothes for me, "I grabbed Nat to get these for you."
Of course, Bucky would never go through my things, and I feel guilty I did to his while he was away.
I smile at him, "thank you!"
"Were you going to wear my clothes?" He asks with a smirk.
I bite my lip, "n-no.." he raises his eyebrows at me, "yes." I let out a little laugh and he smiles even brighter as he walks over to me and brushes wet hair from my face, "I wouldn't mind seeing that."
I roll my eyes playfully and he puts his hands on my hips, I'm ridiculously aware that now the tables have turned and I am pretty much naked and he is dressed.
Bucky leans to my side and opens a drawer, I hear him shut it a few seconds later and he hands me a dark red T-shirt, "here."
The smile on his face brings a smile to my own and I take the clothes he brought from one hand and his shirt from the other, "I'll be right back."
As I step into the bathroom and am closed off from him again, I look at the shirt Bucky has given me, the fabric is so soft and when I drop my towel and put it on, I'm actually impressed by the fit, it's not too tight or oversized, it's just ridiculously comfortable.
Looking at the clothes Nat had picked out is a different story, my most lacy underwear, tight legging, and a strappy vest which I no longer need, of course she picked the most revealing clothes she could find.
Once dressed I grab the towel and my things and head back to Bucky's room, he's laid on the bed reading, and as I walk in, he looks me up and down. "My clothes suit you."
I do a sarcastic curtesy, "I like wearing them."
As I head towards the door Bucky quickly gets up, "where are you going?"
"Uhh, to wash these?" I hold up the pile in my hands and he shakes his head, walking over to me and brushing hair from my face again, "are you coming back?"
"Would you like me to?"
It's weird to see Bucky like this, vulnerable, I know I underestimate him and everything he's been through, he just seems to want to take care of me, although it's not like he doesn't allow me to do it in return.
He does the smallest nod yes.
I smile at him, "then I'll be right back. Do you have anything that needs washing?"
"No." He gives me a smile in return. And leans in to kiss my cheek before sitting back on his bed and reaching for his book.
Heading down to the laundry, a smile is plastered on my face, feeling like I'm living some sort of domestic life with Bucky.. is that something I want? Do I see myself doing laundry and cooking him dinner? Living with him? Would that type of life be for me?
No it isn't, but with Bucky, it wouldn't be like that.
He wouldn't make me a housewife, he wouldn't have me cooking and cleaning and doing all those things, I already know, have always known, that Bucky sees me as his equal.. well, ok maybe more so, he does tend to put me on a bit of a pedestal. But that isn't how it is, not truly.
When I get back to Bucky's room I admire him once again from the doorway, his tongue is stuck out a little as he concentrates on the page he's reading, one leg crossed over another rested on the bed.
If I could come home everyday, and see Bucky like this, I'd live any life he wanted me to.
"What're you reading?" I ask and he looks up.
Bucky puts the book on the table beside the bed, "nothing interesting, a recommended book I can't get into."
I walk over and sit beside his legs, he takes my hand and pulls me over to lay beside him on the bed, cuddling me into his arm again.
"I like having you beside me." I say my thoughts out loud and I see his jaw move from where my head is laid against his shoulder.
We sit, silently, what I said doesn't warrant a response, he stays with his arm wrapped around me and takes the book again from his night stand, and we continue to be like that, until I'm waking up in his arms, a few hours later.
Bucky is still reading, "tired?" He smiles at me and I nod, feeling like I've had a ridiculously great sleep.
I yawn and look around sleepily, "I'm hungry, shall we eat?" Truly, I'm always good to eat.
As we head down to the kitchen, hand in hand, we see only a few agents, no one I really speak to often enough to engage any sort of conversation, I feel no need to hide our enclosed hands, but as we reach the kitchen, where we can hear our friends, family, we both instinctively let go of one another.
I feel like a school child, holding hands with Bucky feels natural and yet in a way, how we are scared of being caught, it makes me feel embarrassed.
Bucky walks into the kitchen first, and myself a few seconds later.
"Afternoon," I smile and I see my father look up at me over his coffee.
"I hear you all had an interesting evening. We could hear the giggling as you went to bed."
I laugh, knowing that must've been Sam and Steve he heard.
"Steve had... a lot!" The emphasis on the last words Sam says as he sits beside Steve's sleepy face are very necessary. I've never quite seen anyone that drunk before.
"And you?" My dad looks at me and I look at him while taking a seat, "I watched them go from three respectable men to three absolute babies."
Bucky laughs from beside me, "I wasn't that bad!"
"You told me you were so hot you're going to evaporate."
Steve bursts out laughing, I had believed him asleep before this.
Bucky looks slightly embarrassed but chuckles, "I'm a fun drunk!"
Tony raises his eyebrows at the four of us, "so you drank, and you didn't." He points to each of us.
"Yes."
"You."
"Me."
"You, didn't drink?!" He's feigning shock.
I give him a sarcastic smile, "I don't know why you think I'd be drinking? I am absolutely not known for it whatsoever."
Everyone around the tables laughs slightly, I absolutely get my sense of humour from Tony.
"Why didn't you have a drink?" Pepper asks smiling at me.
"I wasn't feeling up to it, and plus it was fun watching these guys make fools of themselves."
My father narrows his eyes on me and stands, "well good job not drinking, Barnes, we need a word."
Sam, looks at Bucky and I follow suit, he turns to me and smiles, "it's okay."
Bucky leaves and I look to my step mother and friends, "what is that about?"
Panic, that's what I feel. Pure panic. "Why does he want a word?"
"You sound a little hysterical." Sam says looking awkward and amused all in one.
I look at him dead in the eyes and he throws his hands up in defense, "what could they possibly need to talk about?"
"Work?" Pepper offers and I feel like although the most obvious answer, it definitely can't be that.
"He looks out for me, he's not been here to do that though, what do they need to talk about?"
Steve opens his eyes wide and then rubs his face, "Bucky's doing a good job?"
I look at him, to Sam who seems to agree, to Pepper who is avoiding eye contact while she drinks her coffee.
Biting hard on my lip I resist the urge to follow, he didn't ask for me, only Bucky, and Bucky will tell me what he says right? I mean, what my father said to him on the way back from Wakanda was sweet, he seemed supportive of something happening between us.
But what if he's changed his mind? What if he thinks Bucky is a bad influence, I mean my father still thinks what the rest do, so that would surely be impossible, but Bucky was the Winter Soldier, maybe it's something do with that.
"He's probably just checking in." Sam says, pulling me from my inner torment.
I nod and bite at the side of my nail before Sam pulls my hand away from my mouth, "why are you worried?"
Why am I worried?
"What if he knows about our date?" I whisper to Sam when Pepper is distracted in conversation on the phone.
"Would that be so bad?" Steve asks and I truly don't know, maybe I want my father to know, just so it's out the way.
Unless he doesn't like it. Unless he makes you stop seeing Bucky. Unless he makes Bucky leave.
Worst case scenario, he makes Bucky leave, I can still see him, he just can't live here.
Worst scenario is he kills Bucky.
That won't happen though, no matter what, he'd never do that.
Bucky walks back in the room as I'm thinking of all the reasons in my head why my dad might kill him. Relief rushes through me as he stands by the counter and makes himself a sandwich.
Hesitantly I walk over to him, whispering quietly so not to be overheard. "Everything okay?"
Bucky looks at me, I can't read him, he's not showing any hint of emotion.
He turns back to the bread he's buttering and bites his lip, his nostrils flaring, is he angry? Nervous?
"Bucky?"
He ignores me, I feel my body starting to tense up and I turn to walk away.
My wrist is enclosed in his vibranium hand and I look back to him, he's breathing heavily and his jaw is tense.
Eyes scanning his face, the look he's wearing worries me.
"Pietro is allowed to stay."
Chapter Text
Bucky is looking at me, but I don't know how to feel about this, Pietro being allowed to stay here..
I turn on my heels faster than Bucky can stop me, I'm almost running to my fathers office, my name is called behind me as I run down the hall.
"Pietro is staying?" My voice is raised higher than I intended as I storm into the room Tony is working in.
He looks up from what he's doing and crosses his arms, almost like he expected me to come barging in here.
He says nothing.
I hear people run in the room behind me, I know that at least one of them is Bucky.
"Pietro is staying? You're letting him stay here? In what world do you think that's a good idea?"
I can feel how angry I'm becoming, my nails are digging into the palms of my hands so forcefully I'm almost sure I'm making myself bleed.
My fingers are untangled and by the texture of both skin and metal, I know exactly who it's by.
My hands are held at my sides and Tony rolls his eyes taking us in and shooing away whoever's behind us.
I hear the door close and know the three of us are alone, my hands are loosely released but he's still holding onto me.
Swallowing hard, I look at Tony, he shifts his arms, not at all impressed.
"Look, Pietro is still part of this team, this family."
I can feel myself shaking with fury, Bucky's thumbs rubbing gently on my skin, he's trying to calm me down.
"You do not have to like it, but you both have to live with it." He looks between the pair of us and Bucky moves to my side.
I have to bite my tongue from speaking, I don't want to stand here screaming at him, but my he needs to see how ridiculous it is to let Pietro stay here, does he not see that Bucky literally wants to murder him? That if it wasn't for Wanda I would probably let him.
You can't kill every man who wrongs you.
Pushing my inner thoughts aside I let him continue.
"Pietro is going to apologise."
He says nothing more. That's it. That's nothing. An apology? For my bruised neck and wrist, for the shit he said to Bucky about me?
"Barnes could you give us a minute?" My dad asks and I don't look at Bucky, I physically can't. I feel like seeing him will further my anger.
He leaves and I feel ridiculously conscious of my emotions.
"You're upset, I understand. But what do you want me to do here?"
I have no idea why he's not being his usual sarcastic, smart ass self.
"Defend me? Be on my side?"
He takes a heavy breath.
"There's more people in this family than just you, Eden."
"He had his hand around my neck."
I know he's trying to handle this like he does all other business, but I've been there, it contributed to how bad our relationship is.
Tears fill my eyes as I think of what happened with Derek.
No this is nothing like that and you know it.
"What do you want me to do? Kick him out the avengers? And then what happens to Wanda, what happens to Pietro?" His voice is softer.
"Don't you think I'm angry about how he treated you? It's above me."
His words are sincere, the expression on his face makes that evident.
I hate to admit, but he's right, there's more to this team than just him, he can't get rid of Pietro on just my behalf.
"Is he going to face any type of consequences for what he did?"
A smug smile pulls at my fathers face at this question and I know I'm going to like the answer.
"He has to apologise." He's being coy.
"Is that all?"
"I see you're getting close to Sargent Barnes.."
I lick my lips, he just did a total 180. I have no idea what the fuck to say so I just nod awkwardly.
"It wouldn't hurt for Pietro to see that."
What? What the hell is he-
Oh!
I begin to laugh, and he gives me a knowing grin.
"So you aren't mad?" I have to ask and he stands from where he has leant against a work bench.
"Initially, but you've smiled more since he got here. And your behaviour completely changed, I assume that's because of him?"
I nod, not bearing to have that type of conversation with my dad.
He nods once, "right, well can you try and not repeat this thing with Pietro?"
A breathy laugh escapes me.
"I'll do my best." I smile sarcastically and turn to leave.
"I'm happy you're happy." My father says behind me but I don't look or say anything back, instead I walk out the door and head to the kitchen, in hopes Bucky is still there.
Steve is stood out in the hall as I approach and he shakes his head at me, immediately I know what he's trying to keep me from.. Pietro.
I round the corner and enter the room, Pietro, Sam, Bucky and Pepper are all sat at the table, on seeing me enter, my step mother stands and rushes out. "Behave." She says tensely and I assume she's probably going to fetch my father just in case.
All eyes are on me and I walk over and sit myself as close to Bucky's side as possible, both to annoy Pietro and because I'm simply terrified of him.
He clears his throat and I watch as Steve stands behind him, waiting for him to make some sort of super speedy movement maybe.
"Eden, I am very sorry, I did not mean to hurt you, you are a great woman, I didn't like losing."
I give him a brief, accepting smile and he gives me one back, I'm beyond fighting for something more than that.
Bucky's hand is on mine and he allows me to squeeze his skin to relieve the anger and fear within me.
"Right guys!" Happy walks in and the tension in the room could be cut like a knife as the rest of us sit silently in our chairs, awkwardly eyeing one another.
The lovable man looks around us and motions for us to get out, we all follow him down to the main meeting area where the others living in the compound already are.
My hand is glued to Bucky's, and I take great pleasure in knowing Pietro is walking behind us and seeing that while we walk the corridor.
"Something has come up." My father says as he stands at the end of the table once we're all seated.
"We've only just got back." Steve interrupts and my father shrugs, "can't be helped Captain."
"There's a group in Vienna, they're rebelling against the government. They have the same motives and ideals as Thanos, that the world would be a better place if there was less of us." Rhodey speaks up from beside my father.
"They're called... the Flag Smashers?" Nat asks reading allowed from a tablet in front of her.
I look at the information on a tablet placed in front of myself and as I read through the information, a chill goes through me. "They have the winter soldier serum?"
My eyes are on Bucky, Steve...
They each have hugely contrasting emotions, Bucky looks devastated, Steve angry.
"What do we do?" Nat asks and all eyes are back on my father.
His eyes land on me, "we need you to go under cover. You," he tries not to make eye contact.
"And you, Barnes."
My hand is still in Bucky's, and the small circular motion he was using to sooth me beforehand stops.
His eyes go to my father, he's terrified.
"Why Bucky? Surely they'll recognise him?" Steve interjects and Rhodey rests both hands in front of him on the table.
"We're counting on it."
***
Everything inside me feels tense, why me and Bucky? Why are they putting him in situations constantly where he has to be on edge? They can't give him any peace ever? Why not send Nat and Steve? Wanda and Pietro?
Bucky is beside me in the back seat of the town car taking us to the airport, we've barely spoke a word since two hours ago when we got the news.
I reach my hand out and hold his, it feels weird holding metal, but yet normal when it comes to him.
He looks at me and half smiles, I know he's fighting some internal battle in his head.
"You okay?"
He nods but I know he's holding back.
"We're not gonna think of this as work,"
Bucky frowns.
"This is us going on our first holiday, okay? It's just while we're there we gotta do a little chatting to some people."
A slight smile pulls at the side of his mouth but he doesn't allow it to succeed into forming a proper one.
"Like a couples holiday?" He asks and I make myself more enthusiastic about it on his behalf.
"We're gonna eat fancy food and swim in the sea and share a hotel room-" I pause and Bucky raises his eyebrows, now the smile on his face is there for the world to see.
"If you want." I finish and he takes his hand from mine and wraps his vibranium arm around me, pulling me into his side, "I'd like nothing more."
Bucky plants a kiss on my forehead and allows me to rest my head on his shoulder.
"Swimming in the sea huh?" He says moments later quietly and I giggle, looking up at him, I love the way he looks down at me when I laugh.
"I hate the sea." I squeeze my eyes shut and bury my head into him, causing his body to shake as he laughs with me.
"So food and the same hotel room?"
I look at him and the way he's looking at me is so damn sexy I feel like I could melt beside him.
"Sound perfect."
I nuzzle back into him, "are you nervous? About them having the serum?"
Bucky shifts in his seat and his right hand comes to my chin, he lifts my head to look at him, "are you nervous about coming with me?"
I can see in his eyes he needs me to answer before he can, I shake my head, "Bucky the only thing making me nervous about this trip is sleeping in the same bed as you"
This makes him smile, "I'm excited about that." I roll my eyes and he scrunches his nose.
"Honestly, I'm nervous what they're doing with it. I didn't know there was more."
I contemplate this, it must be stressful for Bucky to hear, for Steve, knowing something that had such a huge effect on their lives is being used to change the lives of others.
"What if they're making more-" I can't finish my sentence, I don't want him to think badly of me for worrying they're making more winter soldiers. That isn't Bucky now, but it was at one point, and what that version of this man could do, under full control of evil people, it scares me.
"If they're making more, we stop them. Shuri can help anyone who's taken it."
This puts me at ease, and comforts me slightly, whenever I hear Bucky speak of Wakanda, I know he loves it there, that he made great friends there, that his time there did him good.
I look ahead between the front seats at the cars on the road, thinking about what awaits us in Vienna.
***
It's midday when we reach Austria finally, the trip exhausting us both, the flight went smoothly, airport security with the bionic man however did not.
After convincing them he was the real Bucky Barnes aka Captain America's best friend and a call to my dad, he was eventually cleared to fly.
We were greeted from the airport by a man called Torres, he's been tracking the flag smashers online and gave us the intel we needed to infiltrate their group, he seems a nice enough guy, he's very good looking and says he's known Sam for a while now.
When we reach the hotel I feel like my eyes pop out of my head, the architecture outside the building is gorgeous, finely carved details in the stone layering each floor. The inside is even better, a mural of cherubs and angels painted on the ceiling of the reception is almost mesmerizing with flicks and accents of gold highlighting the halos on their heads and the bows in their chubby little hands, an incredible work of art that as I stand in the middle of the marble floor staring, Bucky has to drag me away before I start getting dizzy.
Heading to the hotel room hand in hand with Bucky, my stomach is wild with butterflies, my nerves through the roof, why did I say we'd share a room, that was a brilliant and yet stupid idea.
I'm silent as we walk down the corridor to our room, Bucky giving me the occasional cheery smile in response to my extremely awkward ones.
When he unlocks the door with the most beautiful old fashioned key my breath is taken away again, there's a sitting area with gorgeous light blue, embellished old furniture, it's in perfect condition despite the fact it looks like it should've been in a grand stately home a few hundred years ago.
As we open the door into the bedroom, Bucky's eyes are wide when he looks at the four poster bed before us, the linens a pearl white with ivory detail, hanging from the beams is the same gorgeous blue fabric as the chairs we've already seen, the wallpaper behind the bed beautiful with similar angels to the receptions ceiling.
"It's breathtaking." I say and look at Bucky, awe still evident on my face, the smile he gives me, I can tell he's impressed.
"Didn't your father book this room for us?"
My attention is snapped from the gorgeous room to nothing but him and what he's said.
"What? How do you know that?"
"Steve told me before we left. He said Tony had personally picked where we were staying."
I frown, surely not, he wouldn't? Would he? This room is romantic, the sconces on the wall the shape of gorgeous glass flowers. Every part of this room is remarkable, it screams romance, love.. why would my father think this would be a perfect room for Bucky and I?
Bucky shrugs at my confused expression and grabs my hand pulling me to lay on the bed with him, as we are flat on our backs looking at the tapestry that hangs above our heads, woven into the gorgeous blue fabric, I notice the beautiful embroidery, stitching that must've taken months, a naked couple tangled in nothing but each other and a sheet.
I turn and look at Bucky, doing my best not to laugh, he's already doing so himself.
"He definitely didn't pick this room." I can't help but giggle, if my father saw the beautiful, but definitely r-rated image above our heads, he would not let us stay here.