Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Dean can hear his parents arguing, but he doesn’t particularly care at the moment. He’s holding his baby brother. The little tyke was just about perfect. His dark hair was already long even though he was only a few months old. Dean sort of liked that he looked like an alien. He was five years old, and he knew he could take care of his brother.

“It isn’t natural!” He heard his father yell, “He should hate Sam.” Dean thought they were yelling about him, but he didn’t listen too much. His parents had been yelling since Sammy had come home; he wasn’t quite sure why. They yelled before Sam too, Dean would sometimes hide in his closet when it got too scary. There was a loud sound of the bedroom door slamming open. Dean jumped, holding Sammy close to his chest. His father and mother were both standing there, “I won’t have a fucking cunt of a son. I won’t.” His father yelled, glaring at Dean. He stormed off, and his mother frowned.

“John!” She called after him, but the sound of the front door slamming was her only answer. His mother was crying as she walked up to Dean, who was still holding Sammy close to him. She kneeled in front of the chair, one hand reaching out.

“Listen to me careful Dean.” She said with a tremble in her voice, she brushed the soft hair on Sammy’s head before cupping Dean’s cheek, “I love you—your Mommy loves you with her whole heart. Just the way you are, ok?”

“Ok.” Dean whispered back, starting to cry, “Why does Daddy yell at me?”

“He doesn’t understand, baby.” She said, scooting closer, “but you are perfect, just the way you are.”

“Sammy is too, right Mama?” Dean asked.

His mother smiled brightly, more tears falling down her face, “Right!” She kissed Dean’s cheek, then rubbed his cheek with her thumb. She leaned over and kissed Sammy’s head again. Dean wiggled closer to his Mom, breathing in her scent as they looked over Sammy.

***

            Dean never quite knew if it happened that night or not. In his head the memories sort of blurred together. But there was a fire that killed his mother. He just remembered holding Sammy when the ambulance got there, being almost catatonic about letting him out of his arms. He remembered the sirens that just never stopped, and then doctors that kept asking questions. He knew his father was there somewhere, but he never came into Dean’s room until the day he was supposed to leave.

 They couldn’t live at the house that burned down, so Dad made Dean grab anything that was salvageable. Dean put a photo album his Mom had made him in his backpack from first grade with a bunch of clothes. He grabbed all of the things in the drawers and brought it back out. The house smelled like smoke, it made his eyes water. He grabbed a sweatshirt of his Mom’s.

His Dad made them travel after that. Dean wasn’t sure where they were most of the time, but he knew he hated moving. At some point his father made sure Dean went back to school, but the teachers always upset with him for missing it too much. When he said anything to his Dad, it only resulted in getting yelled at for questioning his alpha’s decisions. Dean learned quickly he shouldn’t do that.

It took a bit, but John eventually settled down. They lived in a rancher home not far from a school that allowed Dean to walk there. Dean asked if they could get a bed for Sammy, and one day John came back with two twin mattresses. Though Dean was only nine, he was getting good at figuring things out himself. He found a shelter nearby in the yellow book on the counter, they had been generous with food and clothing in the past. He dressed up Sammy and took him to the shelter to see if they had extra sheets.

“You sure you don’t need any help, young man?” The older man asked. Dean didn’t like being around so many smells, but he knew it was necessary for Sam. The older man ran the shelter, but he had kind brown eyes that Dean knew would treat them both well.

“No sir.” Dean answered, “Just running down on our luck is all.” Sammy had his thumb in his mouth, not saying anything much.

“Alright, well eat some of this first, then you can head on back to your home. You sure your Alpha is there?”

“Yes, he’s just sick. I want to make sure everything is alright for him.” Dean said stubbornly. The elder man smiled kindly.

“You’re a good big brother.” The man told him, sighing and rubbing his face a bit, “Alright kid, but you come to me if you need anything.” He plopped down two plates, then set on the ground next to Dean’s feet a bag of sheets.

“Yessir.” Dean answered, tucking into the food on is plate. After a few seconds, he looked over to Sammy who had not started eating his chicken and green beans yet. Dean leaned over and used his hands to break up the piece of chicken, “Eat everything on your plate Sammy, you want to become a big alpha.” Dean told him, kissing his head.

Sammy took his thumb from his mouth and began eating. He wasn’t really a big talker, but that was just fine by Dean. Dean always knew what he was saying, so talking didn’t matter much to him. The two sat there and ate until Dean was satisfied Sammy was full. He grabbed the bag of sheets and carried it home like his backpack.

Back at home, Dean covered the two beds with the sheets. He had pinned up a few pieces of art that Sammy had made in the coloring book. It wasn’t much, but it was good enough for the two of them. Dean had taken the radio from the kitchen and plugged it in their bedroom.

“And what color is that one?” Dean asked.

“Green!” Sammy said excitedly.

“Good job Sammy!” Dean said, “And what about this one?”

The door slamming open caused Dean to scream. With the radio playing in their room, he mustn’t have heard his father coming home. His heart was racing when he saw his Dad standing in the doorway. His shirt was messed up—and Dean could smell the booze from across the room, “What the fuck is this?” His father bellowed.

“Wh-wh-” Dean couldn’t talk, his whole body froze. The angry alpha scent filled the room. Dean was hauled up to his feet by his shirt.

“Where did you find all this shit boy?” His father demanded in his alpha voice. Dean tried to think of how he got it, but he couldn’t remember. He couldn’t remember anything. He was so shocked that he didn’t really feel the first blow. He heard Sammy start crying, and that brought him to his senses.

“Dad! I found it! I found it!” Dean started yelling back, terror gripping his heart as he covered his face. His stomach felt like it was simultaneously in his throat and doing flip-flops. He couldn’t feel his hands. His face felt like it had been split in two and he wasn’t sure why everything was red.

“You bitch. You’re going to be an alpha because I raised you right. You hear me boy?” His father was in his face, the smell of whiskey was so strong Dean thought he might puke, “I didn’t raise no damn sissy.”

“Daddy, please.” Dean begged, “I’ll be good, I swear. I swear it.” Dean cried into his hands, tucking in on himself.

“You built a mother fucking nest you faggot.” The next blow Dean saw coming. He tried to back away, but his father yanked him up and shoved him to the ground. He slid back, knocking his head against the wall. It was silent for a moment, with the exception of Sammy’s cries.

“Fuck.” His father said, stumbling toward the door. He managed to pull one of Sammy’s drawings off the wall in disgust as he walked out. Sammy was still crying as he crawled up to Dean.

“I’m ok Sammy.” Dean said. He didn’t feel ok, but he didn’t need Sammy to know that. Something similar had happened a few years ago when Dean made a fort in the motel room. Dean should have known better, he shouldn’t have been so stupid. He couldn’t help but start crying.

“I like our room Dean.” Sammy said, curling up into Dean’s side.

“It’s stupid.” Dean grumbled into his arm.

“No, not stupid!” Sammy said, “Home.” That word eased the tightening in Dean’s chest. He felt his body shake out some of the bad feeling—it wasn’t perfect, but he felt better.

Dean smiled a bit, “Mama used to make everything so pretty.”

“You’re pretty.” Sammy’s little hand patted his back.

Dean snorted a laugh, “Thank you Sammy.” He pulled his head up, realizing there was blood everywhere, “I need to clean this up. You should practice your letters. My teacher has all the alphabet on the wall, we could do that too.” Dean told him.

“Okay Dean.” Sammy said.

It wasn’t the only time his father beat him, but Dean tried not to think about it. Deep down he knew what his father was beating him up for, and Dean knew his father was right. He hadn’t presented yet, but he knew it. He knew it just like he knew his hair was brown, that his eyes were green—he knew just like his father knew. He was an omega.

He wished he could say that things got better with his Dad over the years, but they didn’t. Dean was more than willing to get beat up if it meant having a better home for Sammy. All the teachers said Sammy was bright, so Dean made sure they practiced at home. Sometimes his teachers got mad for not doing his homework, but it was important that Sammy did his too. He tried to make sure he did his own, but he got tired.

And his Dad wasn’t always bad. There were better days. Sometimes he came back home from his job at the garage with food. Those were always good days. He got mad when Dean found plates for the kitchen, but he got over it a few days later. Dad didn’t always remember to pay the power bill, but he did pay it more months than he forgot. And when Dean got old enough to start helping out more, he mowed lawns, helped with the plumbing. He became something of a handy man. It didn’t leave much time to be on the middle school baseball team, but that was ok with him. He didn’t need to play, even if his heart broke every time the baseball coach asked. Dad would still get mad if he tried to decorate, so he just made the decorations easy to hide. It wasn’t as if it was ever a secret when his Dad was coming home—he was too loud arriving in the driveway. Sometimes Dad was gone a few days, but those were the best weeks in Dean’s opinion. It was easy to breathe when he wasn’t around. Sammy took to school like a fish to water. Even though Dean helped him a bunch in the beginning, it got easier as the years went on.

He tried not to think about presenting. But as he got older, it became impossible not to. Kids in his class were presenting, coming back smelling different. They came back with a smirk, like they knew something Dean didn’t. But he didn’t want to know. There wasn’t one boy in school that was an omega. And he tried not to think about it. But sometimes, when it was time to go to bed, it was all he could think about. Because he knew. He had all the stuff he needed for his first heat stashed away in the closet. The only way to minimize the impact was to know absolutely everything before it happened and be prepared for it.

There was one aspect he couldn’t prepare for, and that was when. No matter how many times Dean read through different books, no one had figured out when a person would present. It was infuriating. He walked through the small stash of food for Sammy he had set aside in case Dean went into heat. Sammy was aware enough to know the basics. Dean didn’t know whether to be relieved or not as he started his freshman year of high school without presenting. Nearly all his classmates already had.

It ended up happening on a great day. He had gotten a test back with a nearly perfect score. He did a dance when he saw the looped ninety-six on the top of his page. He was good at chemistry. He was in a basic freshman science course that touched on just about everything in science, but this segment was on Chemistry.  For some reason it clicked with him better than the other students. When the bell rang, he stood up and felt a little woozy. It was a bit weird that his seat felt so uncomfortable all of class. He wasn’t sure if he was getting sick, but he didn’t have time for it.

“Dean?” The teacher, Mr. Paterson, called to him. Dean looked over to the young Alpha teacher, probably had graduated from college only a few years before. He was saving up to go back to get his doctorate degree.

“Yes?” Dean came up to the desk as the students left the classroom. The teacher glanced as the last student walked out.

“You did very well on this test Dean, you should definitely consider taking more of these classes in sciences.”

“I am! But I like chem better than bio—the math is great.”

The alpha smiled, taking in a breath, “Oh—Dean—are you feeling ok?” He asked, turning a bit red. It was like as soon as he asked the question, Dean felt weak at the knees. The swirling feeling in his head wasn’t elation at getting a good grade, it was like he couldn’t see outside of the fog. His body ached.

“N-no.” Dean shook his head.

“When was your last heat?” Mr. Paterson asked kindly.

“No—never had one—shit. I have to walk home Sammy after school.”

“I’m sure your alpha will understand, let’s get you to the nurse.” Mr. Paterson stood up. Dean couldn’t really think about Sam with his body feeling this gross. His lower back felt like someone was stepping on it. His lower belly felt like it was trying to cave in on itself. Paterson’s scent was gross, but Dean was not going to tell him that as they walked out the door. After a few steps, Mr. Paterson looped his arm under Dean’s to help him walk. Dean couldn’t help but wrinkle his nose in protest.

Mr. Paterson chuckled, “I know, we’re almost there.” They huffed the last few yards into the nurse’s room, “Cindy?” Paterson called out as he eased Dean into one of the nurse’s chairs. The nurse popped up from her office in the back, “Dean is in heat.”

“Oh! Didn’t stay home this morning?” She asked kindly as she walked to her supply closet.

“First one.” Dean admitted. Cindy didn’t smell any better. She smelled like antiseptic and old peppermints. She pulled out a few supplies.

“We better call your alpha to come take you home.”

“No! No, I can walk.” Dean stated strongly, “I only live on Maritime Street.”

Cindy frowned, putting the items in a small bag for Dean, “Sweetie, you really shouldn’t be walking around with your heat.” It was quiet, but the attitude in the room shifted. It wasn’t like it was a secret that Dean’s father never came to any parent teacher night.

“I know, but please.” Dean said, gripping his jeans with a clenched fist. Even the thought of his father having to pick him up sent him running. He couldn’t imagine what he would say—assuming he would come at all. Cindy frowned.

“Honey, your alpha will know eventually.” She whispered, as if it would lighten the blow.

“I-I know. He’s already guessed. But I can’t—he won’t come to pick me up anyway.” Dean told her.

“I can drive him.” Paterson volunteered.

“Young, unmated alpha should not be driving him anywhere.” Cindy glared at him.

“Ma’am, I swear I won’t touch him. I just—want to help.” He frowned a bit.

“I trust him.” Dean stated, he would not be cornered into calling his alpha. He had an option out, and he would take it. Plus, he did trust Paterson. Dean stood up, nearly collapsing back again. He didn’t know if he wanted to throw up or curl into a ball, but neither seemed like a good option.

“The meds help with the woozy feeling.” Cindy told him, showing him the items she had collected for him, “There are a few heat packs in there as well.”

“I bought a heating pad.” Dean admitted, “I have snacks at home too.”

“Stay hydrated.” She warned, biting her lip, “Are you sure I can’t call your Alpha?”

Dean let out a whimper before he could control it, “I can’t.” He answered, his throat closing up. Cindy clutched his arm, squeezing it softly.

“Alright sweetheart. Why don’t you head to the bathroom real quick and put this on.” It was a slick pad. Dean’s face heated up, “It shouldn’t be bad for your first one, but rather safe than sorry. Okay? And I’ll let Mr. Paterson take you home.”

“Thank you.” Dean let out a breath. He managed to stand up, wobbling into the bathroom in the nurses’ office. He had a box of these slick pads at home, and he knew they just sat in his underwear kinda like a diaper. He tried not to think about it much as he pealed the paper off the sticky part and stuck it to his boxer briefs. It nearly instantly flopped to one side, peeling off a bit. He tried to balance it again before pulling his boxers back up. He adjusted a bit so the pad was covering, then pulled up his jeans. It was slow work walking out, his legs feeling weaker by the second. Paterson looped an arm around Dean to help.

“You call if you need anything, alright?” Cindy said quietly. Dean nodded, knowing he wouldn't. They made slow progress to Paterson’s car, and Dean was very grateful he had not elected to walk home. He wouldn’t have made it out of the school parking lot without Paterson carrying him. They walked to a white sedan where Paterson opened the door and Dean eased into the car. Inside the car, the smell was worse. It smelled exactly like Paterson. Dean couldn’t help but want to retch. Paterson jogged around the car, hopping in quickly. As soon as the car started, he opened the windows.

“You smell terrible to me too if it makes you feel better.” Paterson said with a half-smile, and Dean did chuckle. He closed his eyes, trying not to think about how his entire body felt like caving in on itself. They backed out of the parking lot.

“What about Sammy?” Dean asked, opening his eyes.

“I’ll make sure to tell the school he should walk home.”

“He shouldn’t walk home by himself.”

“I’m sure you were at his age. It’s just around the corner, he will be fine.” Paterson said assuring, “And I’ll ask him if he is ok with it.”

Dean nodded, letting out a sigh of relief, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome Dean.” Paterson said, “Do you have a laptop or a computer at home?”

“I got a laptop.” Dean answered. He got it for homework. It was one they were selling at a second-hand shop that was a few years old. Dean hated it, but it wasn’t like he could afford anything else.

“You got internet?” Paterson asked.

“Yeah.” Dean paid for it. It wasn’t too expensive just to have wifi in their house every month. Dean knew his Dad’s social security number to set it all up.

“I hope—I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. My brother—he’s like you.” Dean froze, not sure where he was going with this, “He’s an omega.”

“Oh.” Dean whispered.

“My family grew up around here, so my parents weren’t very accepting—shit, I didn’t really make it any easier. But there are videos online—he did one too—called It Gets Better. It’s a bunch of YouTube videos where people like you tell their story—about how it gets better.” Dean stared out the window refusing to acknowledge the burning of his eyes and his throat. He just wanted to keep from crying if it was the last thing he did. Dean pointed at the house that was his, not sure if he was glad to get out of the car or not.

“His name is Billie Paterson—you can YouTube it. It’s got almost a million views.” Paterson said proudly as he put the car in park, “My family got over it. He lives in LA now, but he comes back for holidays and stuff. My parents visit him too—I’m going to go see him fall break.”

“Not sure what my Dad will do.” Dean confessed, getting the words out past his burning throat was an issue. He was still staring outside, afraid even making eye contact with someone who empathized would send him into pieces, “I mean, he’s always known. But it’s different now.”

“It is. But it will get better Dean. This part sucks, for sure. I won’t try to pretend I understand. If you want, I can have my brother reach out next week?”

Dean shook his head, “I’m not a charity case.” He did turn now to Paterson, glaring a bit.

“O’ course you’re not. But Billie would want to—I swear it. He’d be pissed if I didn’t insist on it.” Dean handed over his phone and Paterson typed it in quickly.

“Just so if you get a text, you know who it is.” Paterson explained, handing it back, “it does get better Dean.”

Dean didn’t respond as he got out of the car. He wasn’t an ‘LA’ type of guy. Billie had gone to California, which was a perfectly acceptable thing to do if it’s what you wanted. He struggled to walk the few steps from the curb to the front door, his hands shaking as he pushed open the door.

Thank goodness for small mercies, his father wasn’t home. It was a Thursday, so he probably wouldn’t be coming back to the house that night either. And if Dean was lucky, he’d have the whole weekend. He nearly fell to his knees when he opened up his bedroom door. It smelled like him and Sammy. It smelled like comfort. Dean shucked off his shoes and collapsed into his bed. He curled up under the blanket, finally giving into the urge to curl up in on himself. The smell comforted him. His belly was cramping up, and he felt damp. He knew from the text books that this wouldn’t be a full heat. His body was ‘waking up’ or as one book wrote ‘blooming like a flower’. Which was a ridiculous metaphor, since he felt like the farthest fucking thing from a flower at the moment. He had the bag of goodies from the nurse, so he opened it up. In the bag was a few medications for pain and to help alleviate symptoms. He took the small Gatorade bottle from the bag to swallow the pills.

He curled back up again, feeling lousy. He flipped over, but that made him feel worse. Frowning, he sat up and reached out for Sammy’s pillow, grabbing it with a blanket. The pillow smelled of Sammy, and Dean wished he was here right now to comb his fingers through Dean’s hair like Mom used to when he was sick.

Tugging at the laptop not too far away, he flipped it open. He scrolled to YouTube, listening to Paterson’s advice. It wasn’t like there was anything better to do. And it might help him take his mind off of things.

Billie looked like an LA kind of guy. He had his hair all spiked up and make-up on. Which didn’t make Dean angry, it just wasn’t who he was. Dean didn’t like looking all fancy like that. Frowning, he still clicked the video.

“Hi, I’m Billie. I’m an omega. I think my parents thought I’d be a beta—just never occurred to them I’d be anything else other than an alpha or beta, ‘cause anything else would be assuming the worst.” Billie rolled his eyes, “I presented when I was twelve. I got made fun of, I got all the sex ‘must be gagging for it’ comments, and my parents were ashamed of me. They just didn’t know how to talk about it, and never really acknowledged what I am. It was like the moment I came out as omega, they wanted to hide me in the house. No family dinners out, no visiting friends. I was like Harry fucking Potter locked up in my room. They fed me, put clothes on me, but that was it.”

“I don’t really get angry about it now. I did for a long time. They didn’t know any better. They did what they were taught to do. And no one shamed them for doing it either—hell, they were encouraged to do a lot worse. But I was still so angry at them for so long.”

“I moved out here basically as soon as I could. I was lucky enough where my parents funded my college—I think it was more to get me out of town as well. But I came out here, I met people that supported me and helped me figure everything out myself.” He smiled brightly, “It helped me talk to my parents in a much better way. Teenage angst man, I couldn’t talk to my parents in a productive way. It took time, and it took me apologizing too. Not for what I am—but for how I spoke. They apologized too! We all went to therapy together, we had to put in work to love each other again. It was difficult. Now I work in finance for a music production business out in LA. No one back home ever believes I work in finance looking like this, but in California they don’t really dress in suits, you can wear whatever you want. My parents come in visit, this is a picture of us last week.” The screen showed two parents looking ridiculously proud. His mom was kissing Billie’s cheek, squeezing him tight. And his Dad was laughing, one arm wrapped around Billie as well.

“It does get better. I swear to it. I was a tiny omega kid using every deodorant possible to hide my smell. In Kansas, I tried to make myself invisible. I wanted to blend into the background and not make any noise so no one would think to make fun of me. Now I got a great apartment, a boyfriend that loves me—say hi Justin.”

“Hi everyone!” A floppy haired guy slides onto the screen, kissing Billie’s cheek, “I’m Justin, I’m an alpha and Billie’s boyfriend.”

“But he’s not one of those alphas.” Billie said with a grin, “We’re equals. We’re partners. He doesn’t think he owns more.”

“Absolutely not. You’re your own person.” Justin said forcefully, “As alphas, we gotta do a better job of making sure we stand up for omegas too—and recognizing when they are being slighted. I’m not always good at that one.” He blushed, “But I’m learning.”

“We were looking into renting an apartment, Justin had no idea that the guy was only asking him questions. Like I was fucking invisible.” Billie huffed, “Not like I wouldn’t be living there too.”

“Glad we didn’t go with that apartment.” Justin smiled.

“People are still kinda assholes. But now I got a community to support me. They know I’m not stupid just because I presented as an omega—or all the sudden only ever think about having children—or we’re some sort of sex gods. While at the same time obviously maintaining our chastity, which one would think is contradictory.” Billie said with a raised brow, “But I’m here to say that I’m happy. I got great friends, family, and a pretty awesome boyfriend. I don’t take shit from anyone. It really does get better.”

Dean didn’t realize there were tears in his eyes until the video ended. He couldn’t quite believe it. He wiped his eyes, snot getting a bit everywhere. He managed to grab one of the tissues that was in his wellness kit, cleaning up after himself. Another video came on the automatic cue, playing another ‘It Gets Better’ Video. Dean didn’t know how many he watched, one bleeding into the next.

At some point he must have fallen asleep, the meds finally kicking in and mitigating the pain a bit.

“Dean?” Sammy was in the doorway.

“Hey.” His voice was thick with sleep. Sam closed the door, pushing up old blankets against the door.

“Did it happen?” Sammy asked.

“Yeah.” Dean answered.

“Have you eaten? All the books say you gotta eat.” Sammy said.

“No—but I’ve been sleeping.” Dean confessed. Sammy walked over to the closet and pulled out the hidden snacks they had. Mostly just things that would stay in a closet for awhile and not go bad. He grabbed a few breakfast bars, one of the bottles of Gatorade, and plopped down on the floor next to Dean’s mattress.

“Eat.” Sammy demanded.

“I will.” Dean said, sitting up a bit. The medicine might need another dose, the cramping was starting to come back, “Can you pass me the grocery store bag? Meds are in there.” Sammy nodded. He dutifully pulled out two pills and handed them both to Dean as well as the Gatorade bottle.

“Drink.” He ordered sternly.

“You get home ok?”

“I can walk home by myself.” Sam said proudly, “And I already finished all my homework.”

“Proud of you.” Dean murmured.

“I’ve been doing some research, and I think I can get this room to be sealed off so your smell doesn’t go through the rest of the house.” Sam said, plopping down on the ground next to Dean’s mattress. He pulled out a book from his book bag, definitely a book from the high-school library, and started talking to Dean about all the ways they could make sure their room was protected.

Dean didn’t really pay too much attention to what Sam was saying, but he enjoyed listening to him talk. His heart swelled, he knew Sammy was going to go and do great things. He was a little genius already.

“I watched some videos today about—about people like me.” Dean confessed when Sammy started a new chapter. He didn’t want to say it out loud quite yet, he wasn’t sure if it would give it power.

“You did?” Sammy encouraged, still weaving his small fingers through Dean’s hair.

“A lot of them live in California. They say it’s a lot better than here. No one makes fun of people like me—or less people do.”

“We could move there Dean!” Sammy says excitedly.

“Not now—not with Dad.” Dean whispered.

“Then someday, when we’re grown up.” Sammy said strongly.

“I’ll be eighteen soon—then I could be your guardian. I could take care of you out there.”

“You take care of me here.” Sammy told him, tugging his hair gently, “And I can take care of you now.”

“Love you.” Dean murmured into Sammy’s leg.

“Love you too Dean.” He kept brushing through his hair as he read the next chapter. Dean fell asleep, breathing in Sam’s comforting scent and listening to him flip the page.

Thankfully, his heat was short and his father decided to be the drunk he was and stay out all weekend. Dean read that many times the first heat was short, and he was glad that it was. Sammy took care of him, and helped him do his homework for the weekend. They aired out the room to get rid of the smell, and Dean was feeling confident for his classes on Monday.

The two worked out a system. Though it was still difficult to plan out when his heats were going to be, Sammy had engineered a method to make sure that their Dad was never impacted by it. He had rigged up the door with some sort of deodorizing seal. Dean didn’t ask too many questions, but it worked. Dean didn’t know why he was surprised, because his little brother was brilliant.

It was almost like since John couldn’t smell it, he never walked into the room. It had become a small oasis for the two boys. They brought in posters to hang up on the wall—well, Dead did—Sam continued to write his homework up on the wall if it was particularly complicated.

Dean presenting was an elephant in the room that his Alpha decided not to talk about. Dean figured it was better to continue to not bring it up. His father started coming home less and less, being away for longer stretches of time. Dean took a job at the local diner to help get some money, since his Alpha did not do a great job of making sure he and Sam had enough food or money to last while he was gone.

“You’re John’s oldest?” Rufus had asked him when Dean showed up one day. Rufus tried not to let it show how hungry he was, but Dean was sure his stomach had growled a few times loud enough to hear it. Dean hoped working at a diner would allow him to take some food home to Sam. Their Dad had taken them there a few times when he was doing well.

“Yeah.” Dean answered, “You know my Alpha?”

“Yeah.” Rufus had answered, sounding a bit uneasy. There was a moment where he looked like he might say something more, “I can give you a job, kid.”

“Cool.” Dean said excitedly. Rufus always made sure extra food was set aside for Dean at the end of the night so Sammy never went hungry. 

***

Dean couldn’t really believe his own luck. It was halfway through his junior year—just about a year and a month they could be free. They were so close to getting away from Alpha. Dean had nearly refused to call him father anymore. Father implied that he took care of them, that he even knew where they were on any given day. Dean barely ever saw his alpha. It sometimes made him anxious, but Sam was good at taking care of Dean too. They took care of each other. They had decorated their room for Christmas, putting up lights and taping down ornaments to the wall. They wouldn’t have a tree, but they made due with what they had. Dean had gotten Sam a poster of the periodic table, because he was a nerd. Though Sam was quick to point out that Dean was sort of a nerd too. Dean hadn’t been allowed to play on the football team due to his omega status, but he played soccer. He loved it, and wasn’t afraid to be aggressive either. He was in the paper for his excellence in the defense position. Sam would cut out the articles and put them on the wall too.

“Night Rufus!” The diner was closing a bit early because Rufus wanted to go to a car show with one of his friends. They warned the customers a few days before with signs, so everyone knew today would be a short day. Dean would be getting back to the house early with a meal for Sam, who was growing like a little weed. He was basically all bones, so Dean had brought home extra leftovers. The middle school basketball coach had tapped his shoulder, of course. And Sam had enough hand-eye coordination to get by. Dean worked with him at the park every spare moment he got, hoping he would get on the JV team when he got into high school.

When Dean walked through the door, he didn’t think he saw the signs of the disaster coming. He plopped the bag full of cartons of left overs on the island, “Sammy!” He called out, though the kid probably wasn’t home yet. His basketball practice would have only gotten out fifteen minutes previously. And while the school was an 8-minute walk, Sam took at least twice that to fix his hair before leaving the gym.

He heard a loud bang, which made him jump, “Sammy?” Dean called out again. It was coming from the direction of the bed rooms. Maybe someone had broken in?

“COME IN HERE!” That was his Alpha’s voice. Dean’s body heated up as his stomach dropped, he know this wasn’t going to be good. He could barely get his feet to move forward as he walked down the hallway. He stared at the ground as he turned around the corner.

His alpha was ransacking his room, the posters were all over the floor and the ornaments were smashed. Dean didn’t know whether he could throw up or not. His mind didn’t seem to want to focus on the present. He couldn’t think but to stare at the glass shards that were all over the floor.

“What is this shit?” His alpha pulled on him roughly, slamming him into the wall.

“I-I-C-C” Dean couldn’t get a word out, his brain felt like mush.

“I-I-I” His alpha mocked before he slammed the wall next to Dean’s head. He flinched so hard he bumped into his alpha’s other arm. Dean’s heart was pounding and his face felt warm. All Dean wanted to do was expose his throat, to cower in submission. His instincts were going haywire. This was his home, “How many times have I told you not to build a fucking nest you fucking fag!” The blow Dean would have seen coming if he could keep his head up. He knew it wouldn’t help, but he just couldn’t help himself from exposing his throat in submission.

“Look at you, you fucking coward! I never wanted this. I never wanted a fucking pussy ass omega.” Pain exploded everywhere, Dean wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself. His entire body was shaking, “This whole place is disgusting.” John threw more shit from their walls on the floor. The pictures Dean had of soccer players were torn in half. He couldn’t stop convulsing, “You disgust me.” Dean didn’t know exactly what John said after that, he started to tune it out. John threw some of his omega slick pads that he found in the closet at him, but Dean couldn’t get himself to move.

“What are you doing?” He heard Sam cry out, “DAD!” There was a growl.

“Sam.” Dean was able to whisper.

“Dean?” Sam scowled at him and then turned around to look at John, “What are you doing? You’re killing him!” There was a growl and a painful yelp. Dean could just see Sam’s school bag by his feet. Why couldn’t he fucking move? Another painful yell from Sam had him wincing.

He had to help.

He managed to grab Sam’s bag, his limbs felt like they were moving through molasses. He couldn’t get anything to move right. He wasn’t sure how he found Sam’s phone, but thankfully it was easy to reach in one of the side pockets. He plugged in Sam’s password as there was a loud thud.

He dialed 9-1-1.

“This is 9-1-1, what is your emergency?” The scuffle was loud, Sammy was yelling. Dean felt like his heart was being ripped in two, “The emergency services are being dispatched. What is your address?” The woman on the line sounded concerned, “I need you to take a breath for me, you are doing the right thing for your pup.” Dean took a shaky breath, hearing he was doing the right thing soothed him in a way he didn’t quite understand, “You are protecting your pup. You can tell me where you are located.” Dean mumbled out the address, his teeth gritting so hard that he couldn’t quite spit it out, “You are doing so well honey.” The woman said calmly on the phone, “Help is on the way.” She made soothing sounds as he sat on the floor, his hands above his head.

The noises only got louder and the smells got weirder. Dean couldn’t open his eyes, his hands over his face. Everything smelled like distress, but his nest. It was destroyed. His alpha hated it. His inner omega was in pieces; his heart felt like it was caving in his chest. He could barely breathe. But Dean could smell Sammy’s blood and he couldn’t keep himself from whining. Warm hands grabbed his own.

“Dean.” Sammy’s voice sounded raw. Dean was able to move to look at him, he could look at his pup. His eyes needed to adjust to the harsh light. He blinked a few times, focusing on the face in front of him. As soon as he did, there was a deep cry coming from his chest. There was blood all over Sam’s face, “I’m ok. We’re ok.”

“Good job, kid, just encourage him.” A gruff voice said.

“You protected me.” Sammy whispered, shuffling closer to Dean. Dean couldn’t help but whine, no he didn’t. He sat here shivering while Sammy got covered in blood, “You did!” Sammy smiled brightly, it made his split lip bleed a bit more, “We’re going to go to the hospital now, ok?” Dean tried to nod, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know why his mouth tasted like blood. Sam wrapped him in a blanket that smelled like them both. It went over his head enough so he couldn’t see the rest of the room—the blood smeared on the floor. Dean hadn’t realized the room was so loud with whining sounds were coming from him, “We’re ok Dean.” Sam nuzzled close to him, wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

“Jesus Christ.” One of the men in the room growled, “This is why we need more conversations about omega’s needs. This is fucking disgusting.”

“Stop trying to bring in politics, Ken.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Look at him!” He sounded distressed, “I’ve never seen it so bad before.”

“Look at me Dean.” Sammy sounded devastated, so Dean flicked his eyes over to him. He started whining again when he saw Sam bleeding from a cut on his forehead, “I know, but we have to get out of here, ok? We’re going to go make me better, so we have to get in the ambulance.”

“I’m—I’m—I’m—” Dean huffed, but he was able to move a bit. He tried to get his legs to listen to him, wobbling a bit as he stood up. The blanket parted a bit so they could see, but he could still only smell the two of them.

“We’re ok.” Sam whispered to him, “We’re going to go get stitches, make you look bad ass.”

“Yeah.” Dean murmured, blood pouring out of his mouth. Someone stepped up and Dean growled.

“Just—here is something for the blood.” Dean didn’t really look at his face, but Sam grabbed the gauze and pressed it to Dean’s mouth. They managed to walk out the front door. The lights on multiple cop cars were on, lighting up the entire street. Neighbors were out in their front lawns, staring. Dean pulled Sammy closer.

“Come on, we’re hopping into this ambulance.” Sammy said, the ambulance door was no more than three feet away from the front door. It was pulled into the grass. Dean whined at the wheels, knowing it would tear up the lawn, “It’s ok, Dean.”

“The grass.” He whispered.

“It’s ok.” Sam encouraged, helping Dean step up into the ambulance. As soon as Dean was out of reach of Sam, his limbs started locking up again. The bright lights made him nauseous. The panic boiled up in his chest—Sammy. Someone was grabbing him, but he couldn’t breathe. Everyone was staring at him. He couldn’t protect Sammy.

He passed out before he could catch another breath.

The steady beeping noise is what first brought him into consciousness. He could smell Sammy was curled up next to him, even though it all smelled a bit like antiseptic. He buried his nose into Sammy’s hair.

“Hm.” Sammy mumbled in his sleep, tightening his hold on Dean. Dean’s memory came back in flashes. He could still hear John’s voice growling that he was not wanted. Dean opened his eyes. It was easy to figure out he was at a hospital, they were in a private room somewhere. The beeping was coming from the heart rate monitor close to his bed. There was a white board by his feet with the name Dean Winchester written on the top and Sam Winchester written beside it. There was another bed next to Dean that looked like it had been occupied by Sam.

“Bout time you woke up.” A gruff voice made Dean pull Sammy closer. An older man was standing in the doorway. His smell was something Dean vaguely recognized, like motor oil and pine.

“Who’re you?” Dean asked.

“Name’s Bobby—I was good friends with your parents awhile back.” He explained, sitting down in an empty chair, “Lost track of you a few years ago.” Dean tried to remember. He thought he had vague memories of this man coming over.

“You—you helped John with his car.” Dean whispered. That was back when John smiled.

“Yeah—helped fix stuff up with your Mother too.” Bobby looked heartbroken at the mention of Dean’s mother, “I’m going to let the Doc know you are awake, ok idjit?” Dean nodded.

“Dean?” Sammy whispered into Dean’s arm.

“Morning Sammy.”

“You’re awake?”

“Yeah.” Dean said with a smile. Sam snuggled in tighter to Dean, he hadn’t done this since he had been young, “You used to snuggle like this when you were a baby.” Dean whispered.

“Not a baby.” Sam protested.

“No—you’re not.” Dean agreed, “You’ll probably present soon.”

“Dean.” Sam groaned like a young child who was embarrassed when his mom talked about puberty. Dean laughed.

“It is good to see you awake.” There was an older doctor that walked into the room. Usually it made Dean nervous to see older Alphas, but this doctor had kind dark chocolate eyes that made Dean relax, “You gave us a scare.”

“I-I-I-” Dean tried to talk but the words died in his mouth. It was like his throat was closing in on itself.

“It’s ok.” The Alpha said, sitting down on the swivel chair, pulling up along Dean’s bed, “It happens with omegas in your position.” Bobby was standing in the door way, he pulled the door shut behind him and leaned back against the door.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked.

“You are suffering from a severe form of ARS—Alpha Rejection Syndrome.” He didn’t say it coldly, or with an overly sweet voice.

“What is that?” Sam asked.

“It is when an alpha does not do right by the omegas in their care—the alpha doesn’t let the omega know how much they are loved, cherished. The omegas instincts are to care, when the alpha says they are not enough over and over again, the omegas nervous system starts to act on itself—do you know what that is Sammy?”

“Yeah! It goes through out the whole body. It tells all your body parts what to do.” Sam said excitedly.

“Very good.” The Doctor smiled, his teeth blindingly white, “When ARS starts to happen, the Alpha and the Omega need to re-bond. If they don’t, then the omega has to find an alpha that can better suit her—or him as the case may be.” He winked at Sam, “Now you, Dean, are a very interesting case. It should have happened years ago—perhaps. But I believe you and your bond with Sammy here kept you safe.” He patted Sammy’s leg, “Because you both have been such good brothers to each other. And you, young man, are most likely going to be an alpha. If you had been an older brother, this might not have happened at all.”

“W-w-why?” Dean managed to stutter.

“Older alpha brother could have challenged your father. Even if he didn’t necessarily win out, you still could have been his more than your fathers.” The doctor explained, “Omega’s biology requires an alpha/omega bond, we’re not quite sure why. But I don’t deal with politics, I look at science, and you need a bond.”

“Doctor, we don’t know an alpha that would take us in.” Sam whispered.

“Wh-whats gunna hap-happen to us?” Dean asked.

“We’re going to worry about that after you get better, ok?” The doctor said.

“J-john?” Dean asked, looking from the doctor to Bobby.

“He’s been arrested for a few things. He won’t be able to have custody of you two.” Bobby told them both.

“B-but sc-school.” Dean frowned, “M-m-m” my nest. He couldn’t say it. His home was gone. Where would they go? He was shaking again, he didn’t like feeling like his stomach was tied up in knots.

“Dean?” Sammy called to him. There was loud beeping, Dean wanted it to stop. He wanted his room, with ornaments that weren’t broken. With Sammy and his smells. Their posters. Their books.

Something was draped over his head. It made him feel better instantly—it was their blanket from their room. Sam snuggled up closer to Dean.

“We can make a new nest together Dean.” Sammy whispered, “You are so good at it.”

“Not supposed to.” Dean choked on a sob.

“Yes, you are, Dean. Dad’s an asshole.”

“Sammy!” Dean chastised.

“All the books say it is important for Omegas to nest. Just like it’s important for alphas to protect their nest.”

“You did a great job protecting our nest Sam.” Dean whispered, tucking his too long hair behind one ear. Sam blushed bright red.

“Not an alpha.” Sam grumbled.

Dean snorted, “Not yet, buddy.” Dean took in a deep breath, feeling his limbs slowly start to relax. Sam purred a bit, squeezing his arm.

“You two think you can come out now?” The doctor asked.

“Y-yes.” Dean stuttered, pulling back the blanket a bit. He still kept it snuggled up under his nose to smell, but he looked at the doctor. Bobby was looking down on the ground, the tops of his cheeks a bit red.

“I’ll be back in a bit.” Bobby said.

“You’re leaving?” Sam asked.

“Have to file some court documents—Doc, I know I’m not an alpha, but these boys are family. Mary and John’s will had me as their guardian if anything happened, and I plan to honor that promise.”

“The boy needs an alpha.” The doctor said again, “after all this—he will need it for his nerves.”

“My wife is an alpha—she’ll be here soon.” Bobby huffed. The doctor raised an eyebrow, “Yeah, I know. An alpha and a beta together, I don’t need your sass.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“It was written all over your face.” Bobby huffed, “She works with kids—she’s a counselor.”

“We’ll see.” The doctor said, “It’s a bit out of my hands anyway. Depends on what the cops say.”

“I’m going to go talk to ‘em” Bobby said, opening the door, “I’ll be back.” The door slid shut. Dean looked to the doctor.

“You both need to focus on getting better, ok? Don’t worry about the rest of it until you have to. For now, you will both be here.” Dean nodded, wrapping his arms tighter around Sammy.

When Dean woke up again, there was a woman in the room. She was sitting in one of the chairs, sewing something plaid in her lap.

“Dean?” She asked. The smell was so familiar, Dean sneezed. He could faintly remember her smell, being held by her with his mother watching on.

“Y-y-you knew M-m-mom.” Dean said.

“Yeah.” She whispered, tears in her eyes as she moved to sit on the bed. Dean turned over to see Sam missing. He pulled the blanket tighter to his chest.

“Sam?”

“Went with Bobby to get something else to eat. I think he’s bored.” She smiled a bit, brushing her fingers through Dean’s hair.

“He’s a-a-allow-lowed out of-of the hos-hospital?”

“No, but Bobby never met a rule that wasn’t meant to be broken.” She smiled fondly, “I’m Karen.”

“Dean.”

“I used to hold you when you were little.” Karen said with a watery smile, “I was in the hospital the day you were born. I held you in my arms when your brother was born.”

“Are we going to live with you?”

“I talked to the cops. We have all the documents to prove we can take you with us.” She said strongly, “And I will not lose you two again.”

“How did you lose us?”

“After the fire—Christ, I didn’t even hear about it until two weeks later. I kept calling the house, only to hear it was disconnected. I kept thinking John would show up with you two for the funeral—I called his phone and left messages—but he never answered.” She had her hands in her lap, her fingers running along the stitching of her jeans, “Finding you after that was difficult. And if John doesn’t want to be found—well that added another hiccup to our plan. And legally, he doesn’t owe us anything. But we kept trying. The cops called us three days ago saying that you and Sam were admitted to the hospital, and that your father was arrested.”

“He just—he ran away with us?” Dean whispered.

“Yes.”

“I never even—he couldn’t talk about it. I asked if we could visit her grave—he just walked out of the room.” Dean learned not to ask any questions about his mother, not to talk about her. Walking out of the room was the kindest of John’s responses to inquiries about his Mother.

“Dean! We got food!” Sam cried out excitedly as soon as he slid the door open. There were a few bags, “He went to Red Robbin!” Sam loved that place, but Dean only tried to go on special occasions. It was more expensive than a burger from McDonalds, “We got you a milk shake.”

“Try not to get ketchup everywhere.” Bobby huffed, sitting down on the chair next to Karen. Sam scrambled up on the bed, already more than half-way done his milkshake.

“Eat your burger before you finish that.” Dean said.

“I know. I got vegetables on it, just like you tell me to.” Sam said proudly.

“Talked to the police—looks like things might fall in our favor.” Bobby said, “Means you two would move in with us.”

“Where do you live?” Sam asked.

“Seattle.” Bobby answered.

“It’s for his sunny disposition.” Karen teased.

“Statistically speaking, Mobile, Alabama actually has the most precipitation.” Sammy said.

“You are such a nerd.” Dean laughed.

“Well, I’m smarter than you.” Sam said with a pout.

“Yes, you are.” Dean said with a grin, kissing his forehead.

“Yuck!” He wiped it off, but Dean just rolled his eyes.

“School?” Dean asked.

“There is school in Seattle, we can start you off there. Everyone is on Christmas holiday, so we can start back once school starts again in January.” Karen said.

“I can head to your house, start packing up your stuff.” Bobby said.

“N-n-n-not su-sure wh-what’s b-broken.” Dean stuttered again, Sammy pat Dean’s arm.

“I promise I’ll grab what I can. I’ll grab some boxes on the way there, anything we don’t fit in the car can be shipped later.”

“Don’t think we have that much.” Dean said, “Unless you have a small car.”

Bobby just raised an eyebrow, “Idjit.” He declared, then kissed his mate’s forehead.

“I’ll call when I receive the paper work.” Karen said. Bobby nodded, then walked out the door.

Dean woke up a few hours later to a slightly burnt smell. Karen was growling, clutching onto Bobby’s arm. Bobby was staring at his cell phone which was held up between them.

“He doesn’t deserve a jail cell.” Bobby growled under his breath.

“Those poor boys.” Karen whispered.

“They did the best they could.”

Chapter Text

Dean worked slowly, he knew that. But this baby demanded perfection. She was smiling back at him, he was sure of it. Sometimes slow was the best, especially on something like this. Every little detail mattered. His hands were cramping up, but it was worth it.

“Dean?” The sound made him jump, he looked over to glare at Cain.

“Sorry, thought I was loud enough.” He grinned, “She ready yet?”

Dean shook his head, “Close.” He mumbled. He leaned back in his chair, cracking his back a bit. He preferred to work at Bobby’s, but Cain had a beautiful set up as well. Cain reached out to touch the car, but Dean stopped him just in time.

“Oh—still wet?” Cain asked, and Dean nodded. Cain's alpha scent was one of the few Dean didn’t mind. He used to have a crush on the older alpha even though he was about the same age as his father. Something about those eyes and messed up hair that made Dean melt a little the first time he saw Cain come into Bobby's shop. After meeting his mate Collette, Dean had fallen in love with her as well. For some reason, that made the Alpha all that much more attractive. In a loving relationship with an omega? Check. So hot its sinful? Double check. Committed to his omega? Another check. The crush had worn off into friendship, it was impossible not to feel attached to both of them. It was kinda weird being friends with people who were twice his age, but he didn’t have enough friends to be picky.

“Well hot damn.” Colette walked into the garage, cat calling as she did, “She looks beautiful Dean.” Dean blushed, his insides flipping over. She wrapped one arm around his shoulder and kissed his cheek, “Your best work yet.”

Dean grumbled, looking down as his face burned.

“I don’t know what I would do without you.” Cain agreed seriously, “Your work has brought all of these cars to life.” He waved at his garage. There were four classic cars, including the one Dean was standing in front of, that Dean had worked on for Cain.

A few years ago, Dean had posted his work on Instagram about his work on classic cars. He had gone to a few shows with Bobby, who knew a few people in the industry that had liked, commented and shared. Cain happened to see a picture of his work in one of the car pamphlets that they had at a classic show and read up on him. And since Dean lived close by, Cain opted to have him work on something small to test the waters. Not many people worked on classic cars as well as Dean did, there were only a few in the country. Cain had been prepared to send his cars farther in order to get the best work done—but close was better. Dean had been overwhelmed by the offer at first, nearly coming in his pants when he saw the car he got to work on. His hands were shaking when he first started, but the tune up had gone really well. Cain had several projects that he was working on, collecting old parts. Dean helped. Cain paid him too much to do it and didn’t expect too much out of Dean. Dean didn’t talk too much, he couldn’t work sometimes when his symptoms acted up. He took too much time.

“Now, I know you might get mad at me—but I might have another client for you.” Colette said.

“He’s supposed to be our secret!” Cain wrapped an arm around Dean, pulling both him and Colette close.

“Word has got out, I am afraid.” She said with a laugh, “I was telling Ana about this car, how it was almost done. I showed her pictures and she asked who was helping you, since she knew Cain wasn’t doing the work.”

“Rude.” Cain interrupted.

“But correct.” Colette stated, “She said her older brother was looking for someone to help him as well. He has newer cars, Dean, I wasn’t sure your proficiency with them.”

“Different challenge, I like ‘em.” Dean nodded, but felt uneasy, “Alpha?” He asked.

“Yeah, he is. He works at the hospital sometimes, but he has his own practice. I haven’t really had many conversations with him other than in the OR. Cain, do you know Castiel?”

“Kinda—we’ve been to the same dinner parties.” Cain used to be high up in the pharmaceutical world and was now using his massive fortune to cause a thorn in their side. He said he was making up for all the wrongs he committed. Colette met him in that process, pulled him out of hell as Cain described it.

Dean wringed his wrists a bit, the telltale fluttering in his chest about being around another alpha. He tried to keep it under control, but his brain fritzed out when he was around them. “I can be there, when he comes to the shop. If you don’t like him, I can tell him it won’t work out.” Cain said. Dean bit his lip, anxiety pooling in his gut. He hated that he was like this—that being around another alpha gave him this much anxiety.

John’s impact never really healed, even though it had been seven years since Dean and Sam went to Seattle. But it was compounded in a spectacular series of events when Sam left for college. Dean could barely speak for weeks and at first everything came out as a stutter. He didn’t think he would ever be the person he was before. He was broken. Working on cars helped him forget all that. Whether it was new or old. Old cars were like puzzles that just fit together, everything with its place and reason. New cars used computers, and Dean had taken to them right after they moved to Seattle. Computers were like cars. They didn’t talk. They didn’t have expectations. They weren't ashamed of him. They didn’t need a bond. Didn’t ask him for nothin’.

“If it helps, he has some really nice cars according to Ana.” Colette said, “And it’s her alpha. Ana’s been through some shit—I don’t really know the particulars. But she always has something good to say about her brother.”

Dean nodded, “We’ll see.” Colette kissed his forehead again.

“I can be there too.” She offered.

Dean scowled, kicking the pavement a bit. He wanted to say he didn’t a whole entourage there, but that would be too many words at the moment. He was feeling overwhelmed, and that never lead to anything good in terms of speaking. He hated how sometimes his tongue just felt heavy in his mouth.

Being without a bond, apparently, will do that to an omega.

The symptoms hadn’t gotten any worse, but they hadn’t gotten better either. The doctor told him they wouldn’t, not unless he bonded with an alpha. Alphas had let him down—so he wasn’t going to do that. It was better to be alone than to go through that ever ever again.

“Want something to eat?” Colette asked, “We made dinner.” Dean nodded, smiling a bit. Colette squeezed him tight, “Ok.”

Dean had given up on refusing food from them. They would just bring him food to the garage, or put it in his car. Food was their love language and they wanted to make sure Dean was well fed.

He gave the car a once over before following the couple inside. Their home was a modest size, but it had the best of everything. It had a modern cabin feel but also had hand made quilts. It was the perfect mixture that made everything comfortable, and it smelled wonderful. It smelled like wood stain and scotch, brown sugar and cinnamon. It smelled like happy couple.

Dean found his favorite blanket and wrapped himself up in it at the table. Cain held up a carafe of bourbon.

“Want a glass?” He asked.

Dean frowned, scrunching up his nose. Ever since his bonds broke down, he didn’t do too well with alcohol. He had to be extremely careful or he became a whiney omega mess. He figured he could brave it, so he nodded. They fed him lasagna and garlic bread. He didn’t talk too much, but was glad to be a part of their conversations. He snorted when they were ridiculous and quick to roll his eyes when they praised him. He didn’t need to talk much around them both. They didn’t make him feel weird for it.

Cain blasted Led Zeppelin as they cleaned the kitchen. Colette laughed at both of them dancing, drinking her own glass of bourbon as she watched. They cleaned, since she cooked. At times like this, Dean almost felt normal. He mouthed the lyrics as he helped clean, laughing as Cain played the air guitar. Once everything was in its place, the counter was wiped down, and glasses refilled, Colette turned down the music.

“Dean, since you’ve been drinking, do you want me to drive your car home?” Dean squeezed his low-ball glass, “I can have Cain follow us.” Before Dean could help it, he whined. Whined like he was being separated from alpha. Horrified, Dean dropped his glass as he covered his lips.

Fuck. He backed up. He couldn’t believe he did that. He didn’t deserve an alpha. Cain would hate him—or he would leave. Just like everyone else.

“Dean.” The voice was so far away he couldn’t think about it. His vision was collapsing, he had to hide. Cain was going to get rid of him too. Because he was a terrible omega. He made the worst nests. No one should want to nest with him. He was too big. He took up too much space. His heart rate was too fast and too loud. His lungs were too big for his chest.

“Dean.” Cain’s low voice cut through some of the fog. Even though he didn’t think he could, he took a deep breath, taking in the calm alpha scent. It was like a bonfire on a cold night. He let out a slow breath, feeling his nerves calm down a bit. He was sitting on the floor, which he didn’t remember getting down on the ground. Colette was sitting next to him, Cain across from him. He saw the shattered bit of glass on the floor and whined, “It’s just a glass. We break them all the time.” Cain caught his stare easily guessing the reason for his distress.

Dean huffed, putting his head between his knees. He put his hands over top of his head, wishing the floor would swallow him up. This was embarrassing. Cain was probably going to think he was awful and never let him work on his cars ever again. He wanted to get up and just leave, but he couldn’t move his legs they were shaking so bad. A blanket was dropped over him, but it helped him smell Cain and Colette. Immediately his heart rate dropped, and he felt more in control of himself. His breathing slowed as someone rubbed his back. Cain was purring. It was so deep it was difficult to hear, but Dean could feel it. The muscles in his back slowly relaxed as he leaned closer to Cain. He finally was able to pull his head up a bit, but seeing both Colette and Cain under the blanket with him sent another shock of shame through his system. He pulled his legs in tighter.

“S-sorry.” He whined.

“Oh, Dean.” Colette whispered, her hand on his back pulling him close before rubbing it again, “You have nothing to be ashamed of.” She kissed the top of his head that peaked out between his hands, “How long have you been unbound?”

“T-two y-years.” He managed to stutter, staring at the tile floor between his legs. Colette squeezed him tight, putting her chin on his shoulder. The omega’s scent was calm, flowery. Dean took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down, “I-I-I can go.”

Cain made an unpleased grumble that made Dean wince, “Please stay here, we can take care of you until you feel well enough.” Dean whined without his permission again, “My dear boy.” Cain huffed, wrapping his arm around Dean as well. Dean had no idea how long all three of them sat on the floor. Cain purring, Colette rubbing his back. His legs were locked into place for so long that they ached.

Finally, when he was able to loosen up a bit, it was Colette who suggested Dean lie on the couch. Dean would have thought it weird before when he laid his head Cain’s lap, but at the moment he couldn’t muscle up the energy to care. Colette sat by his feet, their scents still close by. With Cain running his fingers through Dean’s hair, Dean was asleep as soon as he was perpendicular.

Dean woke up to the smell of bacon. Colette had somehow wiggled behind him on the, admittedly, rather deep couch. Her arm was wrapped around his middle and her nose buried into his shoulder. As soon as he started moving, she scrunched her nose as if horrified with the reaction to waking up. Dean rubbed his eyes a bit before sitting up, he turned around to look at the kitchen where Cain looked a little worse for wear. His hair was all over the place, but he was holding a coffee mug over the range top.

“Good morning.” He said when he saw Dean staring at him. Dean tried to hid the wince. His fatigue was all Dean’s fault.

“Do I smell coffee?” Colette asked, sitting up behind Dean, turning a bit over the back of the couch, “Hot damn, you look handsome.”

Cain gave an over the top wink, “Not kissing you until you brush your teeth.” Colette nudged Dean.

“I got extra toothbrushes, come on.” She encouraged. Dean followed mindlessly, not quite sure what to do other than follow the lead. Colette gave him a toothbrush and toothpaste, showed him a bathroom and left him alone. He looked horrible, his cheeks sunken in a bit. It was hard for him to gain weight, but he looked more underweight than usual. He stopped staring at himself and looked in the bowl as he brushed his teeth, watching the toothpaste go down the drain. He cleaned his face up as best he could before walking back into the kitchen. Colette wasn’t back yet, so Dean made his way to the barstools that were across from where Cain was cooking. As soon as he sat down, Cain passed him a mug of coffee.

“Cream? Sugar?” Dean shook his head.

“Your phone was buzzing while you were in the bathroom.” Cain pointed at the phone on the island. Dean frowned, seeing 10 missed calls from Bobby. He grabbed his phone and stepped out onto the back porch. It was a bit chilly outside, but it helped wake him up. He sipped on his coffee while it rang.

“Where the fuck are ya?” Bobby asked.

“Cain’s.” Dean answered.

“I know you’re an adult, but you scared the shit outta me.” Bobby huffed, “Idjit. Somethin’ happen that you stayed there?”

“Flair up.” Dean confessed. 

“How bad?” Bobby and Dean had come up with a number system since Dean struggled to talk about his emotions. He struggled to talk at all, but the number system helped. 

“Eight. They helped.”

“How is it now?”

“Six.” He usually hovered at a five, so he could deal with six.

“They’re good people.” Bobby huffed.

“Yeah.” Dean responded.

“Come back when you’re ready, alright?”

“Work—

“Like fuck you will.” Bobby huffed, “Work on Cain’s cars if ya need to stay busy. But if you come in, I’ll throw you out.”

“Bobby—

“I’m serious. You know I will. Dean, ain’t nuthin’ wrong with focusing on yourself for a bit.” That was his therapist talking, but Dean wasn’t going to say that. Bobby’s therapist had been good for him, slowly dragging him out of the depression that gripped him so tight Dean thought he might lose him. Karen died of pancreatic cancer six years ago and Bobby hadn’t been the same since. It was only a year and a half after Dean and Sammy had started living at their house. It was similar to John’s depression in that Bobby found comfort at the bottom of a bottle. However, Bobby hadn’t turned to anger. He soldiered on as best as he could—going to Sam’s basketball games and going to work. But Dean knew that he was barely keeping it together. Dean had started taking over a bit more at the garage, helping him organize employee schedules. Dean was worried they wouldn’t listen to an omega, but no one had given him flack, “I know it’s hard to talk when you’re like this, but if you need to come in to be busy. I understand that. But I believe you can do that at Cain’s.”

Bobby started going to therapy once Sam left. Dean wasn't able to help out as much anymore, so Bobby had to step up. 

“He—Cain—” The words stuck in his throat. He glared at the tree line in front of him like it was its fault that words struggled to come out. Bobby was patient, as per usual, just content to sit and wait until Dean could say what he needed, “S’weird.”

“Cain and Colette are good people. I’m sure they want to take care of you, it’s why you stayed there last night.” Dean huffed, “I’m sure they kept you there instead of bringing you back here is because they care Dean. You got to let people care if they want to.” Another therapist line. It was said in defense of letting Dean take care of him, so Dean knew he had no room to argue. Dean closed his eyes for a moment, trying to stop his hands from shaking.

“Hate it.” He managed to say between clenched teeth.

“I’m not good at excepting help neither, but I’m told it makes me more pleasant to be around.” Also a line from Dean, which made him give a halfhearted laugh, “Go let that alpha help ya out, idjit. Work will be here.”

Dean hummed an agreement before hanging up the phone. He stared at the tree line a bit longer, taking a sip of coffee.

“Dean?” Colette poked her head out the door. Her head was damp, but she was wrapped in a new sweater, “Fuck it’s cold. Breakfast is ready.” Dean nodded, following her back into the house.

“That Bobby?” Cain asked; Dean nodded, “You tell him about what happened?” Dean nodded again as he sat down on a bar stool.

“Dean?” Colette rubbed his shoulder, “There’s a group that I volunteer with sometimes—it’s a bunch of omegas kinda like you. They either went unbound for a bit, or just had really shitty alphas that leave them with ARS.” Dean flinched at the mention of his syndrome, “I know you don’t like talking—but I find it comforting just to listen.” Dean nodded, but didn’t really have any intention of going. He was sure it was going to be ridiculous. He didn’t want to gather around and listen to everyone’s sob stories. He took another deep breath, willing himself to push through. 

“What happened to your alpha?” Cain asked as he slid over the best bacon and egg sandwich Dean had ever seen with a side of home fries. Dean glared at him, knowing he wouldn’t be able to resist such a tempting offering. It was a peace offering as Cain asked a question that Dean didn't want to talk about. And Cain knew that.

“S-Sam.” Dean stated, feeling anxiety ripple through him even as he said the name. He had barely spoken about him since he left. He threw a home fry in his mouth, but it didn’t taste like it should after saying Sam’s name.

“Your brother?” Cain asked and Dean nodded. Cain met him after his bond was broken so Dean wasn’t sure how he knew about Sam, unless it was through Bobby.

“C-College.” Dean managed to say, feeling tears build up again quite without his permission. His chest felt too tight. 

“And he dissolved your bond?” Colette asked, astounded. Her voice sounded far away, or like it was on a TV rather than sitting next to him. Dean nodded, suddenly not hungry. He got up, figuring he could work on one of Cain’s new cars today. He had his computer with him, so he could run on some diagnostics. He was glad he brought his computer with him. When he packed his bag yesterday, he didn’t think he would need it but he brought it just in case. His bag was in the garage, where he left it. Dean found his computer and the connecting wire, walking over to Cain’s jaguar to tune it up a bit.

Colette brought his food out after a few minutes, not asking any questions. Dean kept his head down in the car, trying to hide from her. He couldn’t talk about it. It still felt like a wound that hadn’t begun to heal yet. Eventually he was feeling ok enough to start picking at his food, but he didn’t say goodbye to them in case they tried to talk to him again.

Coming home to his room that night didn’t feel like the relief he wanted it to be. His room needed work but Dean didn’t feel any motivation to do it. There were clothes piled up and things were falling off the walls, but he just couldn’t get himself to care. He got is work boots off, bundling up into his bed.

“Dean?” Bobby knocked as he stood in the doorway, “You look like shit.” Dean only glared at him from his bed, pulling the quilt over top his head. Bobby didn’t give him a long lecture about how he needed to find an alpha. He just sat on his bed, sitting close by while Dean tried to fall asleep.

Chapter Text

“I wouldn’t bring you to something you wouldn’t like.” Colette promised, turning off the car. They were outside the group home she had told him about. He wasn’t sure how she had convinced him to get in the car, perhaps because he was in a particularly down mood. Dean glared at her, “It’s not just a bunch of feelings talk—sometimes we just hang out and watch a football game.”

“Y-you g-go?” Dean asked.

“I’m a volunteer.” She answered, “They have medical personnel on staff there 24 hours in case. I had to take specialty training to do it. It’s why I knew to throw a blanket over us the other week.” Dean flushed, “Smells, particularly to omegas, mean safety. A blanket is the easiest way to cut down on scents to leverage the ones that matter.” She hopped out of the car, “Come on.”

Dean’s heart was racing, but he followed her up to the omega house. The door buzzed loudly when she pushed the doorbell, making him jump. There was a mechanical sounding latch that opened, allowing them to push the door open.

“Colette.” A woman with short cropped hair came up with a grin.

“Jody, good to see you.”

“You must be Dean?” Jody was an omega, but she looked like the one in charge. Dean figured he might be bias because she was wearing a police badge. Dean nodded, “Well, I can give you the nickel tour if you’d like?” Dean nodded, unsure of what else to do, “We got four bedrooms here, right now two are taken. You are also on alpha free zone, unless they have been vetted by our staff. But no boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses. No partners. We have rooms designated for couples counseling, but that has to be set up and approved by a counselor beforehand.” She opened a room that looked like a miniature living room, “We have three rooms for counseling, a larger one for group therapy. The goal of this center is to strengthen omega’s confidence, and hopefully find them a healthy alpha bond.”

“Colette? You’re here!” A woman with long dark hair bounced around the corner. Her scent was warm and spicy.

“Yeah, we made it.” Colette smiled, “Ana this is Dean—Dean this is Ana.”

“I’ve heard so much about you.” Ana smiled. She looked to be about ten years older than Dean. If he could recognize luxury brands, he was sure that what she was wearing would make more sense. It was clear she came from money. Her dark hair was braided down her back, but a few pieces were pulled out in front. Dean nodded his response, “Colette told me not to, but I am going to show you pictures of my brother’s cars to tempt you.” She said as she pulled her phone out.

“Ana.”

“Just a few!” Ana waved her off, opening her phone quickly to a picture of a 1957 Jaguar XKSS. There were only 16 of them in the world. Dean couldn’t help but reach out.

“H-he h-has t-this c-car?” Dean asked, too excited to be self-conscious of his stutter.

“Yes.” She smiled, she swiped her phone again to reveal another car, “And an Alfa Romeo 33 Stradale.”

“Holy shit.” Dean was drooling.

“Cassie has his own garage. Colette said you work on site?” Dean frowned, his hands shaking as he gave back the phone.

“It’s a bit different working at our place.” Colette said calmly, “Can Castiel have the cars brought to our garage?”

“I’ll ask him.” Ana said, putting her phone away.

“If that’s ok with you, Dean?” Colette asked.

Dean nodded. He wanted to work with those cars more than he was nervous about being around another alpha. But hot damn, he wanted his hands on those cars.

“Ana lived with us for a while.” Jody told Dean, “Helped her get on her feet, and now she comes back around to annoy us.”

Ana laughed, “You only put up with me because of my wallet.” She said with a wink, “My alpha husband beat the shit out of me and made me feel awful. My parents married me off at nineteen, and I never had a healthy alpha bond.” She told Dean, “My ARS was horrible, I couldn’t talk at all. Couldn’t speak up for myself. Didn’t know where to go. And when I first got here, I was a fright.”

“To put it mildly.” Judy said with a kind smile. They walked back into the main living room; Jody plopped down on one of the chairs and Ana sat near her.

“I come from money, so I never had to do my own laundry—cook my own food. Nothing. Coming here and having a strict schedule—I thought I was in prison.” She smiled, “But I was able to get back on my feet. I reached out to my family who I thought wouldn’t hate me for dissolving my bond with my alpha. Gabriel is incredibly supportive, but not the stability I needed. But he brought Cassie, who was the support and stability I needed to recover. So now I moved out—oh, I guess it’s been three years now?” She looked at Jody who nodded, “And I am doing great, this placed helped me out so I give money and time when I can.” Dean was surprised she was so open about her story. She didn’t go into the weeds of details, but she spoke about everything so freely. Dean wished he could do that. He wished he could speak at all.

“Colette says you have a safe place to stay?” Jody asked Dean, who immediately started nodding, “Ok, I believe you. But this is a place you can come if you want to have support—we have group therapy, and mostly just use each other for support.”

“For a while I didn’t want another alpha coming near me” Ana confessed, “It was too difficult, so I used this support to fall back on when I could. And they built me up enough so when I was ready to leave, I didn’t fall back into old habits of not voicing my needs and concerns. Castiel has been the best alpha an omega could hope for, but I help make him be that alpha.” Ana turned to Jody with a grin, “Right?”

“Abso-fuckin’-lutely.” She said with a smile, which made Dean huff a small laugh, “We have meetings everyday at six, you’re more than welcome to join in whenever you can. Also just drop by, there is probably something going on.”

“If you feel like staying, we’re having a chef come in to show us how to make apple pie.” Ana said, “If you can stay?” Dean nodded immediately, before looking at Colette to make sure it was alright.

“I got nowhere else to be today.” She assured him.

“Oh, that makes it easier.” Ana said, “Now there’s no excuse not to come.”

“Es-es-especially wh-when the-there’s p-p-pie.” Dean managed to say, making everyone laugh. Colette rubbed his shoulders a bit, smiling herself.

“We can introduce you to some of the people that live here.” Jody said, sitting up, “There’s only three of two of them here today—plus myself and Ana, so hopefully it won’t be too overwhelming.” Dean flushed, looking down at his hands.

“Hey, it’s ok. You’re with people who know what you’re dealing with.” Ana said softly, “I used to have a routine of when I woke up every morning of rubbing my arms four times—eight if it was a bad day, to hug myself. Used to only wear sweaters, even in the summer time to keep warm. My speech wasn’t as bad as yours, but I couldn’t even be in a room like this—used to make my ex furious.” Ana smiled, “It gets better though.”

“N-not f-for m-me.” Dean said certainly, he looked over toward the kitchen, “P-pie?”

“Benny should be here soon.” Jody said. They took the dismissal for what it was, walking into the kitchen there was one woman already sitting there.

“Pam this is Dean—Dean this is Pam.”

“Nice t-to m-meet y-you.” Pam said with a smile. Her slight stutter made Dean want to smile. Someone who finally spoke like Dean. He nodded back, taking the chair next to her.

“Ra-a-a-ad. N-ew d-ude.” Another guy walked in with a mullet. Dean was pleased that he wasn’t the only male omega.  The doorbell chime made Dean jump.

“That must be Benny.” Jody got up and walked toward the door.

“Ash.” Mullet guy introduced himself as he sat down at the counter.

“Dean.” Dean answered.

“Y-you mo-ovin’ in?” Ash asked, but Dean shook his head.

“He is coming in to meet more people like him.” Colette offered.

“Nice.” Ash said with a smile, pushing back his hair a bit, “Ju-ust m-met my po-tential new alpha, she’s pretty rad.”

“There is an intense interview process where people apply to help.” Ana filled in, “So Ash goes through a process to help find an alpha that will fit his needs and desires. He met with Ellen—she is an older alpha that owns a bar called the Roadhouse downtown.” Dean nodded, he had been to the Roadhouse before.

“We b-both gotta like it to be matched” Ash said with a grin, “B-been without an al-alpha for six m-months.” Ash shook his head.

“Everyone say hello to Benny.” Jody introduced. Benny smelled like spice and a warm oven. He had a bunch of bags in his hands, as did Jody. They started putting them on the counter, filling them out.

“Hi Benny!” The cries came out.

“Well, good to see some familiar faces.” He winked at Ash. Dean could smell that he was mated—and probably had his own pup by the look of him. He was just the type of alpha that looked like he had a pup running around at home, “And you are?” He looked at Dean.

“D-Dean.” Dean managed to answer.

“Nice to meet ya cher.”

“T-turns up the L-Louisanna accent w-when he’s flirting.” Pam told Dean, “but he-he’s mated. D-don’t let him f-fool ya.”

“And a pup about ready to come out any day now.” Benny said proudly.

“Y-you have a p-picture?” Pam asked.

“Course.” Benny said, opening his phone and sliding over a picture of assumedly his pregnant mate. Pam showed Dean once she cooed over it. His mate was clearly annoyed that Benny was taking a picture. She had a tub of hummus on her belly, her feet propped up, “Due date was last week. She’s madder than hell.”

“Two more days.” Pam said certainly, “She’s coming in two more days.”

“You’ve never told me wrong yet.” Benny said confidently, “I’ll tell Andrea that, she’ll be thrilled. I’ve been makin’ her spicy food every day in hopes it’ll push that puppy out. But baby seems happy to curl up with Andrea.”

“G-gender?” Dean asked.

“We wanna be surprised.” Benny admitted with a grin, “We’re raisin’ them as gender neutral as we can. Waitin’ for ‘em to tell us how they feel, rather than tellin’ ‘em.” Dean nodded. It was something he hadn’t thought about—probably why no one wanted him as their omega.

“That’s a g-good i-idea.” Pam said with a grin, “G-gunna d-do that i-if I- I c-can.”

“Andrea’s got a whole book on it—think it’s our new bible.” Benny said with a laugh. Something that had tightened in Dean loosened a bit. Guess he didn’t necessarily have to have all this down before having a baby anyway. Benny took his phone back and scrolled around for a minute before handing it back. In it featured a 3D computer image of a baby. The detail was astounding, from the lips to the ears, “Baby’s got my big ol’ head. That’s for sure.” Benny said.

Dean chuckled, “C-cute, like y-your mate.” That had Benny laughing loudly. It wasn’t only Dean that jumped at the loud sound, but he smiled when Benny clapped his shoulder.

“You definitely got the stuff to make good pie.” Benny told him, “Alright y’all gather around the island. We’re gunna start as soon as I get most of this shit unloaded. Each of ya got bins with your name on it—now I did the tough part and premade the pie crust with a blind bake. So they are already to go.”

“B-blind b-bake?” Dean asked.

“When you make pie dough, ya gotta throw it in the oven for a bit before you put all the goods inside.” Benny explained as he gave Dean ingredients, “Makes sure that the pastry is cooked through at the end.”

“Make s-sure y-you d-don’t have a s-soggy b-bottom.” Pam said with a smile.

“Too much Great British Bake Off.” Benny said with an accusation spatula.

“N-never.” Pam looked offended, making him smile.

Dean learned it wasn’t too complicated to make a good apple pie. Granted, he had lots of the ingredients already measured out for him in premade containers. But he learned how the lemon juice kept the apples from turning brown as he got everything cut up. Benny showed him that you had to pile the apples really high, because they were going to get cooked down. He piled them high, then crimped the edges. Dean’s didn’t look as good as Benny’s did, but he was pretty damn proud of himself when it came out of the oven. They all at out of Benny’s pie so they could eat their own pie later. Dean was glad he could take his home to share with Bobby.

“Brother, do you happen to work at a car repair place down off Main Street?” Benny asked, sitting down across from him at the table. Dean had taken to a quieter corner by himself. He enjoyed watching everyone interact, but wasn’t quite up to following multiple conversations.

Dean nodded, but threw him a weird look.

“I get my truck done there, I just thought I recognized you. I only ever talk to Bobby.” Benny explained, so Dean nodded.

“W-what tr-truck d-d.” Dean stopped talking, taking a bite of his pie. He hated when he was like this. But this alpha, even if he did seem nice, didn’t help his ability to talk at all.

Benny was quiet for a minute, “Ford F250, 2010 so it’s a bit older. Still runs smooth—thanks to you.” Benny smiled. Dean blushed.

“Dean is amazing with cars.” Colette slid into the seat next to him. Dean felt is shoulders fall as he relaxed. He was glad he didn’t have to carry the conversation as Colette rubbed his back. Even if she did complement him as she did, “He works on my mate’s classic cars, they are his favorite.”

“Is there a car you ain’t good at workin, cher?” Benny asked.

“Hav-haven’t met one-m-met one y-yet.” Dean stuttered with a smile. Colette rubbed his back again, he was glad she made him come. Even if it was just to eat apple pie. But he did get the feeling that he would be back, and often.

He had his pie as he walked to the Impala with Colette. It was quiet as they got into the car, Dean put the pie in the back seat and wedged it so it hopefully wouldn’t slide around.

“T-thank you.” Dean said.

“Dean, I’m going to say this and you don’t have to say anything back, ok? I just want you to know.” Colette said softly as he started the car but he left it in park. Dean bit his lip, but nodded, “I don’t know why you were dealt such a shitty hand with alphas. I only know vague stories about what happened with your father and all I know about Sam is what you told us.”

Dean couldn’t breathe, but he spared a glance at Colette who looked like she was holding back tears, “I just know you deserve an alpha who will take care of you like you take care of everyone around you. You deserve an alpha who respects how hard you work, who helps you achieve your dreams. You deserve an alpha who wants to build you up. I know alpha’s have proven themselves a waste of time for you, but please give this place a chance. It can build you up and hopefully give you a support system that can help you find an alpha. I—I know you’re not open to it—but please try. I hate to see you suffer so much.” Dean tightened the wheel of the impala. It felt like he wanted to barf and like his throat was suddenly raw even though he hadn’t said anything.

“N-not-not.” Dean huffed, angry that he couldn’t even speak. Colette took his hand and squeezed it, “N-not a-a-a-a-a-a” He wanted to spit it out so he just kept trying. Not like Colette hadn’t seen him in a worse state, “g-g-good O-O-O-O-Omega.” He finally managed to spit out, shaking his head.

“Dean” She whispered his name heart broken. It brought tears to his eyes so he shook his head a bit.

“T-too b-big.” He frowned, staring out the window, “T-too d-dumb.”

“Dean.” She said his name again.

Dean hit the steering wheel in anger, “C-can’t m-make a-a-a- n-nest. N-n-n-no go-no good.”

“You are one of the best people I have ever met.” Colette said passionately. Dean wouldn’t look at her, but he knew she was crying, “One day, an alpha is going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. And I hope, one day, you will believe it when they tell you that you make the best nests. That you are perfect in size. And you are anything but dumb Dean. Whoever told you that deserves to be smacked.”

“S-sam.” Dean whispered down into his lap.

“Well, if I ever meet that boy, smacking him is the least of his worries.” Colette said with a growl. Dean looked over to her with an incredulous eyebrow, “Least.” She said again, “He will get one of my famous come to Jesus meetings. And obviously they are humbling because it forced Cain to face what his soul sucking demonic job did to him. I had one with his boss, who now runs a non-profit that is undoing all the horribleness he did as well. So, not to brag, but I think I could do some damage.” Dean smiled a bit at her, his heart felt lifted. Bobby was right. Cain and Colette were good people.

“If he ever c-comes back, I’ll m-make s-sure it h-happens.” Dean swore.

*      *      *

Dean hummed as he worked on one of Cain’s newer cars. Dean didn’t think it actually needed a tune up, but Cain and Colette hadn’t seen him in a few weeks so they used it as an excuse to bring him over. He had spent most of his time between Bobby’s and the Omega shelter. He thought he would only go once a week, but that place had a way of reeling him back in. Pam had brought him in to teach him how to make pottery. He was terrible at it, but she was patient with him. She confessed that it had been a bad morning for her, barely able to get out of bed. Dean had days like that too, so she managed to coerce him to promise that he would text her to return the favor. Being around other omegas helped. She told him her whole story about how a shitty alpha had taken advantage of her when she was young. She had an abusive home life growing up just like Dean, though for different reasons. Her father was obsessed with selling her off to the highest bidder, so she was mated when it was legal for him to sign the documents. Pam showed him some of her scars, explaining how her alpha would bring her to casinos and use her intuition to win. How they would beat her up and accuse her of cheating. How she couldn’t run away, because she knew that even though he was awful that he cared in his own fucked up way.

He found out about Ash. Dean found out that Ash also played Moondoor and was a bit obsessed with computers, so Dean came over to talk to him about it. Ash was even better with computers than Dean, so he learned a few things that might even help him when he diagnosed cars. Ash told him about how he floated from Alpha to Alpha. Keeping ties to make sure he stayed healthy, but never more than that. He purposefully chose Alphas that only wanted him for a short amount of time. Until one day, that alpha wanted to keep Ash for the wrong reasons. He played Ash, is all the omega would admit to. Used Ash’s smarts and nearly killed Ash in the process. He got away, but paired himself with another alpha that held a bond so weak it hardly did anything other than let Ash recover. It took him a year, but he eventually broke that bond when he found the Omega House.

The stories were balms to Dean who had always felt alone in his struggles. He knew there were others. He saw their stories on the internet. But hearing them through a screen and talking to people in real life made a massive difference to his psyche. For the first time in forever, Dean felt like his symptoms were slightly improving. They would never recover without an alpha, but at least he was happier. He slid under the car on one of Cain’s fancy creepers to make sure everything underneath looked sound. It had been driven since the last time Dean had worked on it, so there were a few things that he could clean up to make sure everything was running smoothly. He hummed along to Led Zeppelin playing through the speakers in the garage.

“Cain, I thought you were more of a Talking Heads type of man.” The voice was deep, one that Dean didn’t recognize. He looked to the side to see fancy shoes and navy-blue slacks—that also looked a bit like Cain’s very expensive suits he wore sometimes. Dean was nervous to breathe in, but he knew he had to. The first sniff was a strong alpha. The scent was like nothing he had encountered before. It nearly was cool, like a morning after a blizzard. It had pine undertones, but it still made Dean want to freeze. He knew he couldn’t hide under the car, so Dean let out a slow breath, easing himself out from under the car, “Oh, I apologize. I thought you were Cain.” The man in front of him had blue eyes to match his snowy smell. Dean kept the car between them as a barrier to be safe. The man was older than Dean but still younger than Cain. He had just the beginning of grey hair around his hairline by his ears, laugh lines near his eyes that went just a little too deep. Despite the clearly expensive suit, the man’s tie was slightly askew, “I am Castiel.”

“Y-you h-have a 1957 Jaguar XKSS.” Dean said, relaxing a bit. Ana hadn’t divulged the nitty gritty of her whole story to him, but most of it. He knew that Ana loved Castiel as her Alpha. They had a difficult beginning, but had worked it out.

Castiel smiled, his body relaxing a bit, “You’re Dean.” Dean nodded, “I have heard so much about you. Ana won’t shut up about you.” Dean blushed.

“S-she sh-showed m-me y-your cars.”

“She told me she took pictures to entice you. I know she can be pushy when she gets her mind to something, I can tell her to bug off if you prefer.”

“N-no. I l-like the p-pictures.” Dean said with a slight smile, which made Castiel smile.

“You trying to steal my mechanic?” Cain asked, his voice a bit louder than usual as he stepped into the garage. Dean noticed he took a stance between Castiel and himself, a protective alpha. Dean appreciated it even though he wasn’t Cain’s.

“I know better than to cross you.” Castiel said with an affable grin, seemingly brushing off Cain’s antics. Cain laughed, his body relaxing slightly.

“What brings you here?” Cain asked.

“I am on the board of Regent Hospital. I saw your application to be on the board come through, and knew your mate worked there. I came over to discuss opportunities.” Castiel grinned easily, but Dean was starting to suspect that this was part of his chess game.

“Of course. Come on in, I have a good scotch or two we can discuss it over. Or do you share your brother’s taste for tequila?”

Cas shivered, “Despite Gabriel’s cajoling, I much prefer a good scotch to any sort of tequila.”

“You see Gabriel often?” Dean knew there was something Cain was asking, but Dean wasn’t quite sure what it was. He was sure he would hate being an alpha—too much sub text and not enough straight talk.

“This morning.” Castiel answered, “Came into my office until I gave him enough candy to go away.” Cain laughed, and it seemed Castiel had passed some sort of test as the two made their way into the house. Cain was still sure to put himself between the two of them.

“Dean?” Cain looked back. Dean had turned back to the car, determined to get a few more things done, “Colette should be home soon, but we had planned for you to stay for dinner if you can.” Dean nodded and Cain’s eyes brightened before he closed the garage door behind him.

Dean wasn’t working under the car too long before he heard Colette drive up. He was just sliding out from underneath the car when Colette’s sneakered feet in scrubs hopped out of her Mercedes.

She cat called as he stood up, rolling his eyes as he did so. Colette looked exhausted, just coming off a twelve-hour shift. He was certain that he didn’t want to know the stains that were on her scrubs.

“Did Cain start on dinner? I’m starved.” Colette said.

“Castiel showed up.” Dean answered.

“Ah, did Cain come out and protect you?” Colette asked with a twinkle in her eye. Dean huffed, nodding. She laughed, “Doesn’t matter if you’re pack or not, Dean. Cain will always see you as his.” Dean chuckled.

“I was f-fine.” His stutter around omegas was now much better, but not gone. Never gone until—until..

“Of course you were. Cain just likes to make sure you don’t have to lift a finger other than to work on his cars.” She said with a smile, which made Dean laugh, “Come in. I hope Cain told you that we made dinner for you?” Dean nodded, “Oh good. You can use our guest room to shower. I don’t even know what fluids you have all over you.” Dean snorted, “Yeah, I walked into that one didn’t I.”

“L-least i-it’s not v-omit.” Ash had also been teaching Dean how he could slide past the stutter as easily as possible. And though he couldn’t pull off Ash’s easy draw that made him sound like he was just speaking slowly, Dean was able to pick up some tricks that limited his stutter.

Colette stopped him from walking into the house, grabbing his shoulders, “It is good to hear your voice.”

Dean flushed, looking down, “St-op it.”

“I know, I just had to tell you.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek, holding him close as they walked into the house, “Honey! I’m home!” She shouted. The house smelled wonderful. Dean had no idea what Cain had made, but it smelled delicious. He walked over to the island where there was a massive charcuterie spread. If there was one thing Dean underestimated his love for when he started working for Cain, it was his love for good food. Dean couldn’t help but get inspired. Especially when it was just meat and cheese in different forms. He grabbed a piece of cheese quickly, popping it until his mouth.

“First time we had this out you scrunched your nose and I thought you wouldn’t eat it. You have come a long way, Dean Winchester.” Colette teased, grabbing her own nibble.

“N-never s-seen some-something so f-ancy in my l-life.” Dean said back, “thought y-ou would e-eat me n-ext.” Colette laughed, grabbing one of the wine glasses from the cabinet.

“Want any?” Dean shook his head. He had nearly stopped drinking completely. It just wasn’t worth it to become a mess again. Pam sent him a ton of articles on why alcohol specifically messes with Omega hormones in ARS. Her stories of drinking with ARS were more embarrassing than Dean’s, not that he ever said that to her.

“Quick shower, then food.” Colette nudged him toward the hallway. Dean had taken to keeping some clothes in the guest bedroom if he needed them. Dean was sure that was also helping him stabilize a bit more. It wasn’t an alpha bond, necessarily, but a consistent alpha certainly helped.

Dean got the grease off of him, showered quick. He had his nicer jeans in the drawer, as well as a flannel without any holes in it. When he walked back out he could hear Colette laughing. Castiel was sitting at the island with a low-ball glass in hand. He had dispensed of his jacket, his tie as well but his sleeves were still buttoned at the wrist.

“Dean! How is my dear Ruth?” That is what Cain called his Rolls Royce that Dean had been working on. Dean found out Cain called it that because he thought that it looked a bit like a hearse, so he wanted to name it an ‘old name’.

“She’s ready t-to be dr-iven ag-again.” Dean answered. He felt a bit nervous that Castiel was clearly staying for dinner. It was still difficult to be around alpha’s. No matter how hard he tried. He was certain he would be alone forever.

Cain wrapped his arm around Dean, “I haven’t seen you in weeks.” He rubbed his head on Dean’s, making sure his scent was everywhere.

“Pee on him, Cain. That might make it more obvious.” Colette said with a snort. Dean laughed, but Cain didn’t let go.

“Can’t help it. Alpha needs to make sure Castiel knows he’s protected.” Cain licked Dean for dramatic effect behind his ear as a scent mark, which made Dean laugh. Since going to the Omega House, Dean was learning to let Cain do the alpha stuff he wanted to. Before, Dean couldn’t let any alpha close. But he trusted Cain.

Missouri, one of the therapists at the Omega Shelter, had asked him just to see where it went for Dean. Missouri reminded him that he didn’t know he was going to freak out if Cain did anything, and much of Dean’s anxiety was rooted in thousands of scenarios that could happen. And once Cain was given some leeway, he certainly took advantage of it. Dean’s chest eased a bit, now feeling a bit more comfortable to sit down on the barstool near Castiel. He didn’t know why his inner instincts now felt a bit more comfortable after Cain’s scent marking—but it worked.

“Colette, I do not understand why we haven’t seen each other more.”

“I mostly work in the ER.” Colette answered, “I have scrubbed in on a few of your surgeries. I know you mostly by reputation.”

Castiel let out a breath, “Ana told me my reputation is that I am good at what I do, but rude.”

Colette laughed, “You’re just very direct. And you don’t sugar coat things.”

“I’m getting better at being more –tactful.” Castiel said proudly, “Ana is helping me. She says that being right doesn’t have to overlap with being rude.” Dean smiled.

“How long has Ana been with you?” Cain asked.

“Little over three years.” Castiel answered, grabbing more of the charcuterie. He pushed the tray a bit closer to Dean so he could reach it.

“Is Gabe in your pack too?” Colette asked.

“Technically yes—but if you’re asking me if I have any control over him the answer is no.” Cain and Colette both laughed loudly at that.

“You haven’t met Gabriel, but I don’t think ‘controlling’ him is an option.” Cain told Dean as he started to plate the food he was cooking.

“He is an acquired taste.” Castiel said, “How do you know Gabe?”

“He drops off baked goods sometimes when he visits you. I’ve caught nurses lying in wait in the break room when he comes in.” Colette said.

“I didn’t know he brought in extras.” Castiel said with a smile, like he was proud, “Gabriel owns Baked for Baked on Main Street.”

“I-I’ve b-een there.” Dean perked up, “B-best p-peach p-ie I-I’ve h-had.” Dean said excitedly.

“He’s now getting into shipping stuff nationally. It’s been quite the ordeal, but he is excited.” Castiel was beaming with pride.

“He’s had it about—ten years now?” Cain started sliding plates towards each person.

“We can sit at the table.” Colette interjected.

“Yeah. The ten-year anniversary was three months ago.” Castiel said as they all sat down at the table. Cain had made gnocchi and it smelled so good that Dean was drooling. Conversation went easy through dinner. Dean talked a bit and Cain looked insanely proud every time he did. Castiel was patient with his stutter, didn’t try to finish the words for him. Castiel brought up Dean’s work, but in a way that didn’t make Dean feel like he was pressuring him in any way. Castiel did follow him on Instagram, if only to see the new project’s Dean was working on of Cain’s.

When he left that night, Dean knew he was going to at least try to work on his cars. Maybe it would be better if Ana staid there with him while he was working, that might make his nerves a bit better.

He got back to the house that night, Bobby chattering on the phone as Dean filled up his bottle of water to go to bed. Dean couldn’t really make out the words from Bobby’s study, but he could tell the beta was a bit angry. He checked the score of the evening football game, it wasn’t too far into the game yet as he propped up his feet on the coffee table. His shift the next day was early, so he didn’t want to stay up too late on a Monday night to finish the game. The days were starting to get shorter, so it was almost dark outside.

“Hey.” Bobby huffed as he sat down on the couch.

“W-ho was that?” Dean asked.

“Sam.” Bobby answered honestly. They barely said his name since he left. Dean needed to know he was ok, but other than that it only caused him to spiral, “He’s not coming home for the holidays, going to a new girlfriends place.”

Dean felt his insides sink. He knew Sam would come up with another excuse not to go home, but he was still crushingly disappointed, “N-n-not sur-surprised.” Dean answered. He was staring at the TV, but couldn’t really see it anymore.

“I’m sorry Dean, I tried.”

“N-Not you.” Dean managed to mumble, “B-bed time.” He got up, feeling like his insides were turning inside out. Bobby said something as Dean walked up the stairs, but Dean didn’t hear him. He crawled into bed.

Chapter Text

Dean’s whole body hurt when he woke up. His cold and unfriendly walls made him want to curl back up in bed and not get out. The heating pad on his bed was cranked up, which meant Bobby had come in to check on him and couldn’t get a response. Dean looked at his phone and it was eleven, so Bobby had tried to get him to go to work. He hated days like today. Where his body would just shut down and refuse to work for him. And he was angry.

He was furious.

He had been doing so well. Dean flipped the blankets over his head and curled up tighter into himself. Why couldn’t his body just be ok? Why couldn’t he just be a beta and not need a bond? Why did he have to be a stupid omega?

He only met Missouri once, but he knew this was one of the times that she would beat him over the head if he didn’t ask for help. Dean didn’t really want to talk to her—she would probably try to push him to do something he didn’t want to do. But he knew Pam would be better. She had reached out to Dean.

Bad day. Was all he typed to Pam, hitting send before he could second guess himself. Hopefully, she wouldn’t see it for a few hours. His hopes were dashed when he saw her FaceTime request pop through. He slid it open, keeping himself underneath the blanket.

“Dean.” She called softly, as he had the camera facing the blankets. He huffed, turning to face himself, “I’ll come over to get you. We have some of our therapeutic alphas here today, might help you feel better.” Dean snorted, not really capable of talking at the moment, “I know it sounds like horseshit—but I swear it helps. And even if you don’t want to, curling up in a blanket in one of the empty rooms, just hearing us talk in another room will probably make you feel better.” Dean glared at her, “You can’t get the same comfort from FaceTime. I’ll be over in ten”

Before Dean had a moment to protest, she hung up on him. Typical. He let his hand flop over as he laid in bed, his whole body ached and he felt like he had just lost something. He took a deep breath, trying to remind himself that he was ok. He let his eyes flutter closed, knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep but it helped him dream—dream of aloe that would soothe the burn beneath his skin. The shame of his nest. Something to expand his chest that was too tight. Every heart beat felt like it dragged on forever. The only thing that kept him going was that he had been here before and gotten out. When he looked at his phone again, it had only been a minute. He wanted to growl, he wanted to scream or cry. But he just glared at the ceiling and focused on his breathing. An eternity later, he heard the door of his bedroom open. He smelled Pam before he felt her get into bed with him, curling up under the blanket.

“Hey.” She whispered as she gripped his hand.

“I-I-I” He growled a bit, “W’ssbetter.” He slurred.

“We all have set backs—you’re not sayin’ you're better than the rest of us, are you?” Pam asked with a smile. Dean scowled, but shook his head.

It took a considerable amount of effort, his entire body felt like weights were tied to every joint as he made his way to her car. He was horrified that he couldn’t even drive himself and had to be seen in her awful car. It was exhausting to even be a passenger. He pulled the blanket from his bed up around him tighter, but it was no use. By the time he got to the Omega Shelter, his hands were shaking and he vomited as soon as he stepped out of the car.

“Jody’s got a room all set up for you, ok? Just come in and chill. If you’re feeling up to it later, you can come talk to us—ok?” Dean nodded, he was completely unable to talk. The last time he had a bout this bad, it took him nearly a week to get out of it. He probably wouldn’t be able to get back to Bobby’s house, maybe this was a horrible idea.

“You’re ok Dean.” Pam whispered as she helped him out of the car. The smells of the parking lot were horrible, he vomited again by the steps. He was more sensitive to other people’s smell like this, it was the worst part. He could smell her worry, her sorrow. She helped him up the steps, the doors opened quickly.

They didn’t run into anyone, thankfully, on their walk to the room that was set up for him. The couch had multiple blankets out already, the remote on the coffee table. Dean didn’t hesitate before curling up on the couch, pulling his own blanket back over his head. Pam rubbed his arm.

“C-Can I g-et you anything?” Pam asked. Dean shook his head even though he couldn’t see her, “T-text me if you d-do. Okay?” Dean texted her back ‘k’ from underneath the blanket. She left him alone, but he didn’t feel any better.

He could hear the sounds of the house, people laughing and murmuring of talking. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but Pam was right. He felt a little better hearing the commotion than he did at home alone. He managed to text Bobby that he was staying at the Omega house for a bit. He tried using some of the blankets from the omega house to help. Some were horrible, so he threw them behind the couch, or as far away as he could. He settled on one that smelled the best.

Sometimes people came into talk to him. He couldn’t really answer back, but he appreciated the company. Ash talked to him more about Moondoor, sat on his laptop by Dean’s feet for a while and played. Pam came back in and tried to get him to eat. It didn’t work, but he appreciated the effort.

“Dean?” Jody’s voice called to him, but he couldn’t answer, “Talked it over with Missouri, can she come in?” Dean couldn’t respond, but he tried to nod his head.

He loved Missouri, but her voice sounded like it was underwater. Her scent was comforting, so he curled up close. Her finger ran through his hair, and he felt a bit like a pup. Jody came back in after a while and tried to get him to eat. He managed a spoonful before he fell back asleep. The smell of pine filled his nose from a new blanket that was added to the mix, he liked that one the best so far. The cooling scent felt like balm. It allowed him to eat a bit more, Missouri encouraged him.

“We’re going to try something called Alpha Exposure.” She told him a few times, knowing that he was going in and out of his ability to understand anything she was saying, “Gunna help pull you out of this funk.” Dean didn’t know what alpha exposure was, but it didn’t sound like something good. He could tell she was worried, but he couldn’t get himself to talk about it. He couldn’t care. He curled back into the blankets, not wanting to do anything. Missouri kept talking to him even when he couldn’t really listen. Her even tone bringing him comfort even when he didn’t want to move.

A new scent came in that Dean recognized from the blanket. It was like sandalwood, pine and snow. It soothed the rage in him a bit, allowing him to breathe. Dean didn’t want to remove the blanket to talk to whomever had come in, but he was comforted by the presence. A slow, gravely voice read to him—Dean could recognize passages from the Hobbit even in his current state.

Dean had no idea how long he read, but it felt like it was hours. It seemed that it wasn’t making Dean’s ARS any worse, but it wasn’t making it better either. The alpha eventually moved to be by his head. Dean was nervous at first even though he was protected by the blanket over his head, scared what the alpha would do—but he seemed content to just read out loud. He tried to take a deep breath to calm down, but his chest just seemed too tight. When the alpha tried to put his hand on Dean’s shoulder, Dean let out a sharp cry like he was being cut open. The pressure went away, but the reading didn’t. Slowly, the hand came back. It was like a part of his brain came back online slightly. Some part of Dean wanted to curl up next to the alpha with his head on his lap. But the other part was too terrified. He could understand more of what the alpha was saying. The alpha must have noticed it was helping slightly, because he didn’t move his hand. But Dean still didn’t want to eat anything, and certainly still didn’t want to talk to anyone. Pam tried to come back in and at least get him to eat, but Dean was suddenly terrified the alpha would leave with her. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe, so then Pam left.

Missouri came back in after a while. Her and the alpha talking low, but Dean couldn’t hear what they were saying. They both sounded upset.

The alpha left. Because of course he did. That’s just what happened.

Dean recognized Cain’s scent as soon as he came into the room. He whimpered. He was going to get yelled at again. He was too big. He made horrible nests. He was too stupid. He was a stupid faggot. No one wanted him. There was movement on the couch, Dean was curled up into the corner of the sectional but the couch was big enough for Cain to slip in beside him. He draped the blanket over them both, curling in close. He looked like he had been crying.

“Dean?” Cain whispered his name and Dean whimpered, trying to turn away, “Please let me be your alpha. Please.” Dean couldn’t see his face, but Cain sounded choked up, “If you hate me after a while, I’ll help you find another alpha you like. But my nest doesn’t feel right without your smell. Colette hates it when you’re not around. Please Dean.”

“N-n-not g-good.” Dean was able to stutter into the couch cushion.

“Dean.” Cain made a choked sound, “Please look at me.” It wasn’t an order, but the omega in Dean found it difficult to refuse. He rolled over. Cain was crying. Dean couldn’t help but want to reach out and wipe away his tears, whimpering in distress, “Please give me the chance to prove to you that you’re a great omega. I know I can show you.” Dean frowned, “If you let me. Please.”

Dean took a shaky breath. Sam was never coming back. Sam didn’t want him anymore. Didn’t need him. Waiting for his alpha to come back was useless. No one would ever want him. Maybe Cain…Cain had been here for him. Had let him stay. Huddled under the blanket with him. 

Cain wanted him.

“Yeah.” Dean whispered, “Ok.”

“I promise, Dean. I promise to treat you with the love and respect you deserve. I can be a good alpha.” Dean had no doubts Cain was a good alpha, so he thought it was a weird thing to say. Dean was just a bad omega. He held out his arm for Cain. Cain didn’t hesitate, biting on his forearm to seal the pack bond. Dean felt a rush of emotions—concern, sadness. Anguish. Dean couldn’t breathe.

“Dean?” Cain said his name, “Dean!”

His vision was caving in, Cain smelled panicked—he felt panicked. Dean was terrified. He started shaking, his vision was weird and he felt like he was away from his body. Everything seemed like too much before he blacked out.

Dean woke up in his familiar guest room at Cain and Colette’s. It smelled like anxiety and worry. His eyes slowly blinked open to Colette who was curled up right beside him. She was asleep, her arm wrapped around his stomach. He turned over to see Cain passed out in a leather chair beside the bed. He looked down at his left arm to make sure it was true—he had Cain’s mark on his left arm. It was cleaned up, but the bite mark was sealed. He could feel the pulsating bond between them.

“Dean?” Cain whispered. Dean looked up at him from his arm, “How are you feeling?”

That was an interesting question. He felt like he had just climbed Mount Everest and got hit by a bus on the way down. Everything hurt. But he didn’t feel the pit in the bottom of his stomach slowly eating him away. He didn’t want to crawl beneath a blanket and never come out ever again.

“B-b-better.” Dean said. The bond was humming beneath Dean’s skin. He could feel—he could feel everything. He could feel Cain’s concern, his love. Love for his wife. A sadness. Love for Dean. Dean looked up at Cain, “W-wow.”

Cain smiled, “I can be a good alpha.” Dean had never felt this through a bond before. He could tell Cain meant what he said. He could tell Cain wanted to be the best alpha he could. He could sense Cain’s surprise and he was overwhelmed by… Dean?

“Sorry.” Dean took a sharp breath, coming back to himself.

“You’re projecting through the bond too much. Missouri said would happen. It’s pent up from the time spent without a bond.”

“N-never f-felt t-this.” Dean had never felt a bond like this. It was—strong. He felt appreciated. Dean started crying. He couldn’t help it. He ducked his head, pulling his legs up so he could hide.

“Dean?” Colette murmured sleepily, “Did Cain already make you cry?” Dean laughed into his tears.

“You’re pack now.” Cain said, his eyes a bit red as he held back his own tears. His chest felt warm. It was curling deep in his soul in a spot that Dean forgot he had long ago. It was the first sign of spring after being in a lifetime of cold. Dean thought of the image of the first time Father Christmas came in Narnia—this must have been what it felt like if it had been real. The first sign that the forever winter was over. Cain gripped his shoulder, anchoring Dean to reality.

“Well, isn’t this all touchy feely.” Bobby huffed in the doorway, “How you feelin’?”

“B-better.” Dean answered, “H-hungry.”

“I’ll fire up the grill.” Bobby said, turning out of the room. Despite his quick exit, Dean could tell that the older Beta was exhausted. It had been a long time since he had gotten any sleep, or at least a full night’s rest.

“H-how long w-was I out?” Dean asked.

“You got to the omega house—last Tuesday?” Colette said as she sat up, her hair all over the place.

“L-last T-Tuesday?” Dean said again, looking to Cain.

“It’s the next Thursday. We tried—Missouri tried to pull you out of it—Jody. Bobby said it’s happened to you before for days at a time, it’s a common symptom of advanced ARS. I—we didn’t want to—we were scared—I didn’t want to ask you until—it just felt like I was taking advantage of your state if I asked then.” Cain confessed.

“I kn-knew wh-what I-I-I was do-doing.” Dean told him.

“Why don’t you get cleaned up first as dinner gets ready?” Colette said, “I’ll help you clean up.” Dean must have looked horrified, “I give baths at work, I do it all the time. You’re too weak to do this by yourself. And I think you’d rather be clean.” He did feel gross, but he whimpered in distress, “Come on. If you can get through it on your own, I’ll leave you to it.”

It was difficult to get out of bed in his weakened state, so he knew Colette was right. She helped him into the bathroom, guiding him to sit down on the toilet once they got inside. He was already exhausted from walking the few short steps. The massive bathtub filled with water since this was a bougie bathroom with a standalone tub. Colette had to help him take off his t-shirt, which even he could smell because it was so horrible. He took his own socks off, then waited for the tub to fill enough so he could get in. His hair felt like it was slicked to his head.

“Come on. I’ve seen enough junk that I promise you—what you got won’t scar me” She winked at him, which made Dean snort. He reluctantly stood up, pushing his sweat pants and boxer briefs down in one go. He stumbled a bit as he tried to work the elastic over his foot. He knew his face was bright red out of embarrassment, trying to get into the tub faster. Colette steadied him, “I’m not going to stare at it.”

“Y-you're h-horrible.” Dean said.

“It’s a penis. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I’ve seen thousands.” Dean laughed, using the sink counter as a balance to get his sweatpants fully off. He turned and saw himself in the mirror, his stomach sank. He looked awful. His skin had lost its color, he was too skinny. His ribs were showing. Colette met his gaze.

“You’re going to be ok, Dean. We just got to get some meat on those bones.” She said with a smile, “Gunna fatten you up in no time.” Dean nodded, feeling emotional. He held back tears as he used her help to get into the tub. He sat down in the tub, wondering why Cain would want him in his pack if he were this weak, “Dean. You listen to me, ok?” Colette had tears in her eyes as she kneeled down next to the tub, “We’re going to get you better, ok? You see this?” She held out her own pack mark on her arm, “This means we're in this together.” The bite on the side of her neck made her Cain’s mate—but the pack mark, that was theirs together, “It is supposed to mean that I want to see you thrive. It means we’re there for each other. Thick and thin.” John and Sam’s pack marks had disappeared. John’s wasn’t anything deep in the first place, it hadn’t been reinstated since he was ten or so. Sam only bit him the first time.

It was supposedly common in packs to reaffirm bonds by biting down again. Dean knew it to be true because he saw some people with strong and noticeable pack bite marks. Bobby’s pack mark from Ellen was still prominent, even though she had died nearly a year previously. Same with his mating mark.

“Pack means something to me. Ok?” Colette whispered.

“Yeah.” Dean murmured back. She shampooed his hair while he took a washcloth and cleaned his body. He was grateful she didn’t try to do that, though she teasingly offered it. Her fingers running through his hair nearly made him want to purr. He hadn’t purred in years.

He managed to get himself out of the tub, dried his body off himself as Colette towel tried his hair like he was a pup. She brought him a set of his own clean boxer briefs, sweatpants and a shirt of Cain’s.

“Pack smell is important.” She said as he raised a brow.

“How’d these get here?” He asked, pulling up his own sweat pants.

“Bobby brought over a few items.” Colette answered, “It’s doctor’s orders—or Missouri’s orders—for you to stay here. We’ll talk options once we sit down with Missouri, ok? She’s going to be here tomorrow morning.” Dean nodded.

They wandered out to the dinner table where Cain and Bobby were already seated with food on the table.

“People kept wanting to help—they dropped shit off.” Bobby explained, “Benny brought over some food—too many people brought over pies.” Dean grinned.

“Dinner tonight is a bit simple—Missouri is worried about how your stomach will react.” Cain explained, giving Dean his bowl of chicken and rice soup. The soup was brilliant, so it wasn’t much of a sacrifice to eat it.

“Ok, so about your living arrangements.” Cain started, “Bobby brought some stuff over, but we can go back and get the rest of it this week? If that’s alright with you?” Cain asked Dean, “We can wait until the end of the week where you’re stronger, or you can just make me do all the work.” He winked.

“H-how l-long?” Dean asked.

“What do you mean?” Cain asked.

“H-how l-long wi-will I st-stay here?” Dean asked.

“Um—forever? Until you find another alpha?” Cain shrugged carelessly, “Whichever comes first.” Dean looked to Bobby who had a small smile on his face.

“Don’t you worry about me, alright? You can come back and visit.”

Dean felt something heat up in his chest. He couldn’t quite understand why Cain wanted to do this. Have some kid stay in his house indefinitely? That didn’t make any sense. His chest got tight, wondering when he would be abandoned again. If he had an end date, at least he could prepare for it. With this? This could mean a week, or a month. There was no way for Dean to steal himself against the inevitable rejection.

“Dean?” Cain whispered, but Dean was already on his feet and out the door.

It was a bit chilly outside and he could smell the pine trees. He took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down. His first breath was shaky, he couldn’t get a deep enough breath. He let it out slowly, his breath visible in the slight chill. It took a while since his chest was still too tight around his lungs but it was still faster than he expected. It was proof that his body was already adjusting to an alpha, because he already felt like his breaths were deeper than what they had been in years. He hated that it was this quick. This simple.

He took another breath.

Simple wasn’t fair.

Missouri would bop him on the head for thinking such a thing. None of this had been simple. Dean leaned against the railing, his arms crossed as he took another deep breath. His heart rate lowering again. Would he go back to Bobby’s when Cain kicked him out? Or stay at the omega shelter? He placed a hand on his shoulder, the one the alpha had touched when he was at the shelter. He smelled like pine too. Dean took another deep breath, his heart rate coming down even more. Dean flopped down on the porch love seat, grabbing a blanket that was draped over the arm.

It was a few more minutes before he heard the sliding door open and shut. Cain came out with a bowl and mug in his hands.

“Can I join you?” Cain asked. Dean nodded, tensing up a bit as the alpha sat down. He handed Dean the bowl, which Dean finally recognized as his own, “You need to eat.” Cain told him, “My dad raised me right, you know?” Cain let out a breath, “He wasn’t perfect—but he raised me to believe in a pack. Nearly bit my brother and I once a week to prove how much he loved us. He made some mistakes when he was young—him and my mom—but had learned by the time they had us.”

“I was convinced my Dad just didn’t have any ambition—I hated him for it. I hated my brother—Abel. He just always seemed to have everyone like him, my Dad favored him. I took no ownership of that relationship myself.” Cain let out a small breath, rubbing the edge of his mug of tea, “I disparaged both of them. They had so many gifts and didn’t use them.” Cain shook his head, “I know I don’t talk about my past too much—but I ought to tell you so you can understand me better.” Cain looked over at Dean and Dean nodded. He was holding his breath, not sure what he was about to learn. He was deathly curious, but never had the courage to ask Cain about his past.

“I went into pharmaceuticals, as you know. Barely talked to my family once I made it to the executive suite. I worked with Castiel’s brothers—Michael and Nick. You’ve heard of the Angel brothers?” Dean had heard of them. Massive republican donors that muddled in politics to sway congress’s votes in their favor to protect pharmaceutical companies. Despite their angelic name, they couldn’t have been more demonic in their actions. They raised prices of drugs with little care on how it would affect people.

“Y-you w-worked f-for them?” Dean asked, incredulous.

“I did. For too long.” Cain frowned, “Then I got a call—from Mara, Abel’s mate.” Dean could tell from Cain’s voice and body language that it wasn’t good, “Abel was sick. He needed a drug that I had deemed ‘not cost effective’. I jacked up the price and made it almost impossible to get. Plus, I had cut the R&D budget, so there was no way he could find anything better either.” Cain was quiet for a long time, his eyes a bit glassy, “I didn’t give the final blow, but I may as well have. I killed my brother.”

Cain took a sharp breath, “Mara and her kids want nothing to do with me. They had hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical debt that I paid off—but Mara saw it for what it was—an attempt to buy them off. To buy their love.” Cain gave a slight smile, “I hadn’t been yelled at like that in a very long time. Mara said the importance of pack was that you were there for each other when the times got difficult, not to pay the final bill. Her pack scar was deep, the scar tissue obvious from years of frequent biting. Told me that this was what it was all about. She knew Abel loved her, that she was wanted. That she meant something to somebody. That I had nothing. Big house, lots of money, but absolutely nothing to show for it.” Cain let out a breath, taking a sip of his tea, “Told me that I was my brother’s keeper, that I had killed him. That Abel believed until his last breath that I—that I could—” Cain sniffed, wiping a tear off his face, “That I could still come back around. Abel was an alpha—but he still submitted to my pack rules. Mara said until the day he died Abel believed we would be pack again one day.” Cain let out a small breath, “She said that the guilt was going to swallow me whole when it finally caught up to me, and that she hoped it did.” Dean’s heart was pounding. He could barely breathe. How could Cain go from all of that to Colette?

“She was nearly right. I stopped going to work—I stopped being able to do anything. I couldn’t breathe under all the weight of it all. I thought about killing myself nearly every day. No one would have noticed. No one cared.” Cain’s voice was hollow. Dejected, “I signed up to volunteer at the hospital. It was a masochistic reason to see all the damage I had done—to understand my impacts. I met Colette while I was there.” He smiled brightly, his whole demeanor changing at the mention of his mate, “She pulled me out of hell. Told me I needed to get over myself, and start using my big brain and wallet for some good.”

Cain let out a shaky breath, putting his mug down and turning to face Dean a bit more, “But now you know why—I won’t ever leave behind a pack member ever again. Ok? Because of my neglect—I lost my brother, his mate and his children. I never ever want to lose someone like that ever again.” Dean felt his eyes start to burn and his throat close. Cain held out one hand to Dean’s left arm, “Can I?”

Dean offered up his arm and Cain gently pushed back the flannel sleeve. Cain's mark on Dean’s arm was still new, barely scabbed over from the first bite. It was healing quite well, already looking more prominent than the other two pack mark’s on Dean’s arm. His father’s barely showed up at all—and Sam’s was fading. In a flash, Cain had bit down again. Dean had heard that pack marks didn’t hurt, but he hadn’t understood until this very moment. Dean didn’t feel the canines in his arm—but the worry and compassion from Cain. Cain took all the pain away, not letting Dean feel it for a moment.

“I bit you because I want you Dean to be in my pack. Not as a filler. Not as a charity project. Not whatever doubts you got running through your mind. I don’t walk away from pack, not anymore.”

Dean nodded, the tears in his eyes fighting to come out as he leaned against Cain’s shoulder. Cain immediately pulled him close, a deep purr emanating from his chest. He rubbed his jaw on the top of Dean’s head so his scent was all over him.

“Dean?” Colette whispered. Dean woke with a deep breath, forgetting where he was. It was cold, his cheeks were frozen but otherwise he felt like he was sitting next to a furnace. A strong arm had wrapped around his waist, making it nearly impossible to move. Cain’s nose was buried into Dean’s shoulder.

“It—wha’ time’sit.” Dean slurred.

“Nearly midnight.” Colette said, “Time for bed.”

Dean suddenly realized that Cain was spooning him, their position a bit intimate, “H-he didn’t—I d-don’t know.” He turned bright red, Colette giggled.

“I know Dean. Pack sleeps together when times are tough—and when they want to.” She grinned, “And I’ve done my time snuggling with Cain so now it’s your turn” She teased, “And I’m warning you—once we wake him up, he’ll be a cuddly giant that immediately wants to go to his nest.” Dean nodded, part of him still fairly certain Cain would be appalled to wake up like this, “Ready?” Dean nodded again, “Cain?” She nudged his shoulder a bit, “Time to go to bed.” The arm around Dean tightened, Cain made a huffing noise as he curled closer, “Come on, babe. Time for bed.”

“Cain?” Dean tried to turn around to slip off the couch, but the arm around his waist wouldn’t let him go far.

“Nest.” Cain grumbled sleepily.

“Yes, we’re going to our nest. Come on sleepy head.” Colette teased. Cain grumbled a bit, but his arm did loosen so Dean could get up off the couch. As soon as he slipped from Cain’s grasp, the alpha was up—grabbing onto Dean quickly. Dean wasn’t sure how someone still half asleep could move that quick, “Come on Alpha.” Colette giggled.

“He’s a-a-a-a n-ninja.” Dean complained as Cain wrapped his arm around Dean’s shoulders, tucking his head on top of Dean’s. Colette kept giggling.

“You got to keep moving. He’ll follow you if you keep insisting.” Colette said, helping Dean fully stand up. A small growl from Cain had Dean a bit nervous, but Colette laughed.

“Come on, Alpha. Not trying to take Dean away from you. Let’s go to bed.” She moved to the other side of Cain to help push him foreword. Cain scented the air, immediately licking the mating mark on Colette’s neck, “Oh for heaven’s sake, Alpha. Come on you big lug.” Dean was comforted that even in Cain’s more instinctual state, he still seemed to know the difference between Colette and Dean. They made slow progress moving back to their bedroom, mostly due to Cain being a ‘snuggle monster’ and Dean’s inability to keep from laughing. By the time they got Cain to his bed, Dean’s stomach hurt from laughing so hard and trying to keep quiet.

Dean managed to get the alpha into bed, tucking him in. When he stood up, he thought it was the perfect moment to sneak out into the guest bedroom.

“Nu-uh.” Colette shook her head, “Pack bedtime. Missouri’s orders.”

“Nu-uh” Dean rebutted.

“Yes-huh.” She retorted, hands on her hips, “Plus, you’re sleeping in the middle because it’s your turn to deal with him.” She winked.

Dean got into bed stiffly. The last time he slept with pack was when his mother was still alive. He wasn’t sure how the rules had changed now that he wasn’t a pup. A deep purr emanated from Cain’s chest, even deep asleep. He could smell Dean’s anxiety.

“You’re ok.” Colette whispered, getting into bed on the other side of him.

“Y-you s-sure?” Dean stuttered, laying down.

“Positive.” Colette answered sleepily, curling up into Dean’s shoulder, “Might snuggle you myself.” Dean gave a weak laugh. Cain’s purr got louder, as if he was trying to lull them both asleep. Dean felt his body tension lessen, his eyes drooped closed, “Goodnight Dean. I am happy you’re here.” Colette rubbed her fingers along his pack mark before closing her eyes.

It was seconds before Colette fell dead asleep. Dean figured it was a nursing technique to be able to fall asleep at a moment’s notice. Dean still felt too stiff. It was weird to be in bed with pack—right? He was being too much. Cain might wake up and wonder why he was in bed. Did other packs do this? He saw this on TV sometimes—but that didn’t make it real life. He should ask Missouri if this was part of his treatment or not.

“Dean, sleep.” Alpha huffed, wrapping his arm around Dean’s middle. It wasn’t an order, but Dean still felt like he should listen. The purr softened, less demanding. And before Dean could help himself, his eyes drifted shut.

Chapter Text

“Dean?” Colette nudged his shoulder. It smelled like hazelnut coffee, so Dean opened his eyes. He was in bed alone, the sun shining through the windows.

“Time’sit.” He slurred.

“Nearly eleven.” Colette responded, “Missouri got here a little bit ago. I told her we were letting you sleep.”

“Hm.” Dean hummed, “Can I h-have s-some?” Dean nodded to the coffee.

Colette smiled, “Not yet, I don’t think. No caffeine until you get some meat on your bones.” Dean pouted, “None of that, you have bacon and eggs on the table when you’re ready.” Dean figured there was at least bacon to pull him out of bed. He stumbled into his new bathroom to brush his teeth, finding his own tooth brush already in the bathroom. He took a quick shower since bags of his stuff were also already in his bedroom.

“Oh sugar, you are already looking better.” Missouri said as soon as he walked out into the living room. He smiled as he sat down at the table next to her.

“For you.” Cain offered a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. Cain must have pulled out all the stops for breakfast because it looked delicious.

“Dean and I are going to talk alone first, if the two of you don’t mind. We’ll all come together for a talk after a while.” Missouri looked to Colette and Cain.

“Of course, I got work in my office.” Cain said.

“And I got some winterizing stuff to do outside.” Colette said, “I’ll get out of your hair.”

Dean ate his breakfast for a bit, Missouri eating an apple next to him.

“It’s annoying h-how much m-my body h-as already ad-adjusted.” Dean spoke once his plate was finished.

Missouri rubbed his shoulder, “Your body is just reacting to a physical bond, your mind will take some work.” She winked, “I promise. That alpha anxiety doesn’t go away overnight, sugar.”

“He d-didn’t give me a timeline of how l-long this will last.” Dean told her.

“What makes you think this is temporary?”

Dean scoffed, but Missouri just raised a brow, “It al-always is!” He growled, “A-Alphas al-always w-want some-something I-I-I can’t g-give. Be in-invisible. D-don’t talk. I d-demand t-too much of ‘em.”

“Dean Winchester. You do not demand too much of an alpha. If you ever do, I will tell you.”

“Missouri! S-Sam left be-because I was t-too much!” Dean stuttered, “C-can’t ask wh-what he’s u-up too. Can’t s-s-see h-h-his f-friends.” Dean blinked back tears, his throat burned, “Don’t t-t-tell any-anyone I’m h-h-his. Too w-weird. Too aw-awkward. I’m t-too st-stupid, not n-normal.”

“Dean.” Missouri gripped his arm, forcing him to look at her, “You are embarrassingly normal.” Dean snorted, “You are, sugar. You need a bond just like every other omega. That speech right there—that’s not normal. Your alphas were wrong. Cain is going to prove it to you, if you give him the chance. Did you ask him how long you would be here?”

Dean huffed, “He said forever!”

“And you thought he was lying to you?”

“C-course he was.” Dean said back, though it didn’t have the bite from earlier.

“We are going to take him at his word, since he hasn’t lied to us yet—right?” Dean frowned, “Has he lied to you?”

“No.” Dean said it slowly, “B-but he can’t m-mean it.”

“Of course he can.” Missouri argued, “You got the mark on your arm to prove it. Looks like he bit it again recently?”

“L-last night. T-told me b-bout his p-past.” Dean looked down at the mark on his arm, already starting to heal. There was ointment on it that someone must have put on while he was sleeping, “N-never h-ad an a-a-a-alpha bite-bite me tw-twice.”

“Your father must have.” Missouri touched his father’s bite.

“D-don’t re-remember. Before Mom died.”

“And Sam only bit you once?”

Dean nodded, “H-he d-didn’t w-want people to-to know.”

“Oh child, I am sorry you had to deal with that.” Dean shrugged, “And how did Karen factor in?”

“She was S-S-Sam’s pack l-leader. She t-took c-care of m-me m-more.” Dean whispered, “B-but I was b-better then.”

“Your ARS got worse once Sam left?” Dean nodded, his throat closing up, “It’s alright, sugar. We don’t have to talk about him until you’re ready.” Dean nodded.

“T-thought I was-I-I-I.” Dean stopped, took a breath. He was quiet, but he wanted to get it out, “Thought I was g-going to d-die. D-didn’t want t-to eat. K-Karen was s-ick. No one w-wanted me. She d-died soon after S-Sam left. I th-thought Bobby w-would d-died too. H-had to take c-care of him. He t-t-t-t-tried to take c-care of me-me too.” Dean wiped his face, not realizing he was crying, “Thought S-Sam would c-come back. B-be a g-good Omega.”

“Oh child, you are.”

They kept talking through things. Dean felt like his mouth was dry from talking so much. They moved to the couch on the back porch, where Missouri went through his physiology. They talked extensively on how his body would continue to acclimate. They talked about even though, in Dean’s opinion, omega’s needing a bond was stupid—why it was evolutionary relevant. It didn’t make it less annoying, but Dean understood why it was happening. And even just knowing why his body was doing it was helpful. Packs were safer. Especially for an omega. The body rewarding the decision was built in so that the omega would feel safe in a pack automatically.

Cain slid open the porch door, “It’s about lunch time, I’m making BLTs if that is ok with everyone?” Dean’s mouth salivated at the thought of more bacon, so he nodded. Missouri did as well.

“We’ll come join you and Colette after this. I have a few discussion points.” Missouri told him. Cain nodded, sliding the door closed again.

“I’ll help you out sugar—that was an alpha taking care of his omega right there.” She said with a gentle smile, “Remember how everyone was talking about the five love languages?”

Dean nodded, “T-touch, Act of S-Service, Q-quality time, G-gifts and—” Dean scrunched up his face, he couldn’t remember the last one.

“Words of Affirmation.” Missouri finished, “We’ve moved away from this framework, but it’s a good starting point for now. In general, Alphas tend to use more acts of service as a way to show love for pack members. Especially around getting food for pack.”

Dean frowned, “But I just joined Cain’s pack.”

“Doesn’t mean he can’t make you lunch.” Missouri pointed out.

“N-no. I j-just mean. Cain’s been making f-food for me for m-months.” Dean argued.

Missouri smiled at him, “Sugar, you fell head first into the point and still managed to miss it.” Dean scowled, “Cain has wanted you in his pack for months.”

“That can’t be r-r-ight.” Dean argued.

“Why?”

Dean stood up with a frown. He slid open the door and walked straight into the kitchen, “How long have y-you wanted to be m-my alpha?” Cain looked up a little shocked. He was assembling sandwiches while Colette was cleaning up.

“Uh—a year? I think?”

Dean huffed, “Y-you didn’t say an-anything.” Dean crossed his arms over his chest.

“I did.” Cain said carefully, “At first, you seemed so appalled at having an alpha, I didn’t know how to bring it up. Colette and I decided if we showed you we were a good pack, then you might come around.” Cain let out a breath, “And the last time you had an episode here I—before Colette suggested the Omega shelter—I didn’t ask then because I thought you’d say no. Dean, I knew you a year and a half before I was able to ask how long you had been unbound.” Dean frowned, “You put up a boundary around the topic, and I wanted to respect it.”

Dean let out a sigh, sitting down at the table, “What else have I been m-missing?”

“Just about how much everyone around you cares, sugar.” Missouri said with a smile. Dean sighed, “Now, we have a few things to go over now that Dean is here.” She pulled out a folder from her purse. It had the logo of the Omega House on the front, “Same checklist we give every new alpha.”

Cain nodded, bringing over sandwiches. Colette came over to the table, sitting next to Cain. The two opened their folder.

“This is for you Dean.” Missouri handed him a folder and a notebook. He flipped open the notebook to see a bunch of letters, some checklists.

New Pack Checklist.

“We recommend all new packs sleep in the same bed the firsts two weeks.” Missouri stated.

“T-two?” Dean squeaked.

“Yes. Two. At least.” Missouri said calmly. Dean scowled as he took a bite of his sandwich, but the bacon did wonders to his demeanor. He eased up slightly, “Then, you should all go shopping to help Dean decorate his room.”

Dean huffed again, “Non-negotiable, Dean. I’m excited about this one.” Colette said with a smile.

“We can have some pictures of your work printed out and put on the wall—that would be cool.” Cain said excitedly.

“Dean will need a lot of support. Reminders that you guys don’t plan on going anywhere. He’s had alphas that are ashamed of him and very willing to leave. Saying it will go awhile, but proving it in your actions will take time.” Dean turned bright red during Missouri’s speech, staring at his plate.

Cain wrapped his arms around Dean’s shoulders, pulling him close and kissed his forehead, “We’ll work on it.”

Dean never got to decorate a room with his parents growing up. He figured going with Cain and Colette to pick out things for his bedroom was pretty close. They were embarrassing, but Dean never felt more cared for in his life. They bought him new sheets, a new quilt and a duvet. They bought him extra blankets and extra pillows, because Colette knew that sometimes your bed had to be an actual nest. They never let him think about the price tag, and were sneaky about when they caught Dean looking at something—it would magically end up in the cart.

“I’m a billionaire, Dean. Why the fuck not spend it?” Cain asked. It was news to Dean that Cain was a billionaire, so he googled his net worth at the end of the day. Dean found him on the top 100 Billionaire’s list at 23.2 B. There were many articles discussing his philanthropy. How the ‘Devil had a Change of Heart’.

Dean couldn’t quite believe it. Sure, their house was nice. Cain had a few cars. But it wasn’t billionaire nice. Well, he thought anyway. It was only a four-bedroom house. Only. That was weird to think. Plus, Cain didn’t live too far away from Bobby—so it couldn’t be that crazy expensive of an area. Dean closed the tab, shaking his head as he laid back in his new bed. His new room wasn’t perfect, but it was pretty fuckin’ close. All of his things from Bobby’s had made their way over. Colette had taken pictures from Dean’s Instagram, and some of the professional ones, and put them up on the walls. He was surrounded by sleek black and white photos of classic cars.

Where Dean knew Cain was going overboard was the garage. Cain insisted it was all beneficial for himself too, but Dean knew it was mostly for him. Dean didn’t even want to know how much Cain had spent on the garage. He asked Bobby, who Cain was definitely relying on for input.

“Idgit, I’m not tellin’ you that. Accept it for what it is—a gift.” Bobby huffed.

Then one morning, a new car was in the garage that Dean had not worked on. It wasn’t a classic, but it was still a very expensive ride. Dean saw a note on his work bench.

As a favor? If you don’t mind ~Cain.

When Dean opened the door, he recognized the scent immediately. It was a cool scent, like pine in the winter. It was the alpha that sat with him in the Omega house. Dean eagerly got to work, happy to help the guy who sat with him for hours. The man clearly kept a clean car, the tune up not so long ago that Dean needed to worry when he got underneath. There was still a limit of all he could do at Cain’s, but he had a feeling that was going to change soon. He connected his computer into the center console, humming along to the music playing through the garage speakers.

“I thought you were more of a Talking Heads kind of guy?” A familiar line and a familiar voice called out. Dean popped his head out to see Castiel standing in the open garage bay. It suddenly clicked that this was his car.

“I prefer Led Zeppelin” Dean smiled as he got out of the car.

“I hope you don’t mind me saying that you look a lot better.” Castiel said.

“Thanks—I feel b-better.” Dean took in the alpha’s scent, feeling the same sense of calm he did at the omega house, “Thank y-you for everyth-ing you did.”

“You’re welcome. I’m just sorry I couldn’t do more.” Castiel replied. Dean held up his arm with Cain’s bite on it.

“Helped me get to this, so I’m n-not complaining.” Dean replied. Castiel smiled brightly at Cain’s mark.

“Cain said you wouldn’t mind.” Castiel waved at his car.

“No, dude. I don’t m-mind.”

“I might have another project? If I can show you?” Castiel asked hopefully. Dean nodded. So Castiel pulled out his phone, clicked around before moving closer to Dean, “I got a classic Ford pick-up truck. Not in great shape.” Castiel wasn’t lying. He showed pictures of parts of it rusted up a bit, other parts completely missing. The interior clearly belonged to a smoker at some point, “Ideally, I would like it to have a classic feel but have all the modern luxuries—like a sound system that connects to my iPhone. Good speakers.”

Dean nodded, humming as he took the phone from Castiel, zooming in on a couple of parts. His brain was already whirring at different ideas.

“Budget?” Dean asked.

“Not much of an issue.” Castiel said. Dean looked up at him and he smiled easily. Dean knew a non-starter subject when he saw it.

“G-got some p-parts already that could help.” Dean said, “I can m-make concepts. Send you over s-some ideas?”

“I can do that.” Castiel said excitedly.

“Does it drive?” Dean asked.

“No.” Castiel admitted.

“Can y-you take it to Bobby’s? On m-main street?”

“You’ll do it?”

“Yeah dude.” Castiel smiled brightly, taking his back his phone as Dean offered it.

“Oh good. I’m getting sick of Cain bragging about his cars. I want to brag back.” Castiel admitted as his slid his phone in his back pocket, “He shows off his Jaguar at every opportunity.” Dean blushed, “And Colette’s G-Wagon is the envy of everyone at the hospital.” Dean smiled at that too, “Everything alright with this one?” He waved at the Audi that Dean had worked on.

Dean shook his head, “Just did a normal t-tune up.”

“Thank you.” Dean flushed.

“I got a b-book, we can talk some options?” Dean asked.

Castiel nodded, “I’d like that.” Dean grabbed his spiral for notes, then the large black binder he had with professional shots of his work. He was glad Colette had insisted on it with a few of his jobs. Not only were they great for his social media, but also for clients.

“Haven’t d-done a pick-up b-before.” Dean admitted as he opened the book, “K-key with a modern cl-assic is having enough old stuff blended in w-with new.” Dean said as he flipped through to a few pictures, “I think a c-classic steering wheel is a m-must. Difficult to make a new one l-look old with all the b-buttons. Then there might be forgiveness of a center console with GPS.” He flipped through some pictures, “Old trucks like this bring the metal color from the outside into the truck. So if you have red outside, the center console is usually red as well. Nothing we can’t change if you want to—but goes all to the more classic look.”

“I see what you mean about the steering wheel. This one looks a bit odd.” Castiel’s deep voice was close to his ear as they both hovered over the portfolio. His scent this close was enveloping Dean, he quite liked it.

“It’s what the client wanted.” Dean shrugged.

“The truck will mostly be for around town, so I won’t need a center console screen. Just something to connect my phone to the speakers.” Castiel pointed to another picture, “I quite like the detailing in that.”

Dean nodded, “Expensive leather. Some of them had a velvet t-type of interior on the bench.” Dean showed him a picture.

They were still hunched over the pictures over an hour later. Dean had pages of notes as they discussed different ideas. It was clear Castiel knew his way around a car as well. Not the particulars so much, but definitely enough to impress Dean. When Dean’s stomach rumbled, Castiel told him it was time to call it quits.

“I have your number. I can call tomorrow when I drop it off at Bobby’s?” Castiel asked, standing up. He stretched a bit after sitting down for so long. Dean nodded, “What time should I drop it off? I’ve got patients until about 2.”

“Three work?”

Castiel nodded, “That works.”

“I’ll take p-pictures tomorrow for a before and after. I’ll start stripping it t-tomorrow.”

“Can I help?” Castiel asked.

Dean was a bit surprised by the ask, “Sure.”

“Dean?” Colette called out the door, “We’re thinking about going to the Roadhouse for dinner—hey Castiel, you get your car fixed up?”

“I did. I managed to rope Dean into another project.” Castiel grinned, adjusting his trench coat, “But I do have to get going. Ana is making dinner tonight, so I have to make sure she didn’t burn the house down. I’ll call you tomorrow, Dean?”

Dean nodded, feeling shy now that Colette was there. Colette was trying to meet his eye as Castiel backed out of the garage. He gave one last wave before driving down the driveway.

“I’ve always pictured you with an older man.” Colette said.

“Hm.” Dean hummed non-committal as he followed her to the truck.

They met up with Cain at the Roadhouse, he had come straight from some meeting and was wearing a ridiculously posh suit. He stuck out like a sore thumb at the Roadhouse, but he wore it so comfortably it was easy to forget he was wearing it. He had a meeting with some high-powered politicians that were lobbying for more regulations on big pharma.

“I need a drink.” Cain said as soon as he slumped down in the booth.

“I can go get some.” Dean said, “What do you guys want?”

“Whatever IPA is on tap.” Cain answered.

“Same.” Colette said. Dean nodded, standing up to head to the bar. He had to blink a few times to process who was standing behind it.

“Ash?” Dean called out.

“Hey!” Ash smiled brightly, moving around the bar to Dean.

“I didn’t know you worked here.”

“New Alpha.” Ash pointed over to the older woman on the other side of the bar, “Ellen’s my new alpha. Just got my new bite a month ago.” It was right around Dean got his.

“That’s great. I knew you were interviewing.”

“Yeah, Ellen’s been great. She’s got a small pack, but I like it. Got my own room, and her daughter Jo is pretty cool too.”

“That sounds perfect.” Dean said with a smile, “Congratulations.”

“Heard you got your own alpha.” Ash said with a smile.

“I did, he’s over there.” Dean pointed.

“Dude, that’s Cain Knight.” Ash whispered.

“I know.” Dean said with a laugh, “Him and Colette both want IPAs when you get a chance.”

“Yeah. ‘course. But dude—your new alpha is Cain Knight.” Ash whispered the last part, and Dean laughed louder, “He’s, like, the only billionaire that’s not a complete asshole. I mean, he got it by being an ass but at least he is using his powers for good now.”

“I can introduce you, if you’d like.”

“Nah, I hacked into his old company once. I’d rather not risk it.”

“You got it.”

“Ash, you can pour beer and talk at the same time.” Ellen informed him, “What are you drinking?” She asked Dean.

“Two IPAs and a Pilsner.” Dean answered.

“Aw, come on Ellen. This is Dean, we met at the Omega shelter.”

“Dean—as in Dean Dean?” She asked.

“Yeah.” Ash nodded.

“Oh, it is nice to meet you.” Ellen said brightly, “This round is on me. Ash says you inspired him to get serious about a bite.” Dean’s heart stopped, his stomach dropped. The air felt like it had been sucked out of the room. Ash frowned, a bit uncomfortable. Dean knew it wasn’t a single conversation they had, but Dean completely falling apart that had frightened Ash.

“Sorry.” Ash whispered, “I just—you scared all of us, man.”

Dean hung his head, “I’m sorry.”

“Nuthin’ you need to be sorry about. Just glad you’re doin’ better.” Ash said with a smile.

“I’m sorry. I stuck my foot in my mouth, didn’t I?” Ellen said softly. She squeezed Ash’s arm gently.

“It’s ok.” Dean said, moving to grab the beers.

“Can we still game together on Tuesday?” Ash asked.

“Yeah—‘course, man.” Dean nodded. Ash nodded back.

Dean wasn’t surprised that no one really said anything when he came back to Bobby’s garage. Bobby wasn’t there for some reason, but it looked like Garth had a handle on everything. Garth was the exception to the silence, giving him a hug and hoping that he felt better. The other’s just nodded—but Dean knew his coffee would be topped off without asking. And a massive sub found its way to his bench without prompting.

He was just finishing off his sandwich when Garth popped into view. Dean jumped.

“Jesus Garth.” Dean rasped.

“Sorry! Thought ya heard me. Man named Castiel is here with his truck.” Dean brightened, jumping up off the bench. The tow truck was lowering the busted-up truck onto the ground. Castiel was watching the whole process with his arms crossed, a scowl on his face.

“Hey Castiel.” Dean said, walking up. The scowl instantly disappeared when he faced Dean.

“Hello Dean.” His deep voice made Dean smile, “Tried to wait for him to take it off the truck until you told him where to go. He didn’t want to listen.”

“That’s ok. L-Larry is a b-bit of a dick.” Dean said, waving to the tow truck driver, “But he is definitely the best tow truck driver in town. Don’t want this baby g-getting anymore s-scratches.”

“You wouldn’t be able to tell.” Castiel said skeptically.

“She’s got g-good bones.” Dean argued, touching the one side mirror that was still attached, “Thanks L-Larry.”

“Glad you’re back.” He huffed, slamming the door on his tow truck.

“We’ll get to work on stripping it—once I t-take some pictures o-of the b-before.” Dean told Castiel, “Shouldn’t take too long s-since it’s the e-easy p-part.”

Dean and Castiel spent the rest of the afternoon stripping down the Ford pick-up, after they had taken around a hundred or so pictures. Dean was careful to get all the rusted details. Upon further inspection of the vehicle, Dean found a few problems with it that were pretty massive. Castiel had probably over paid for it, but he wasn’t going to let him know that. Dean was a bit worried that the alpha would rattle on, but they worked in companionable silence. Castiel asked questions occasionally, and let Dean answer them slowly. Though his stutter had massively improved, it hadn’t gone away completely.

The alpha had taken off his trench coat, but his white button-down shirt and tie were still on. Despite the sweat dripping down his side burns, Castiel didn’t seem bothered. Though it was early fall, it was quite a warm day. Dean was a bit nervous when he took the trench coat off, glancing to make sure his colleagues were in sight. He knew Castiel was a good alpha, but he couldn’t help but cover his bases.

“My fingers hurt.” Castiel confessed later that day.

“Ripping out stuff will do that to ya.” Dean said, wiping off his brow. He looked at the clock and it was nearly seven, “I’ll let you go.”

“We still have a bunch to do.” Castiel waved around the vehicle.

“I’ll probably c-come in t-tomorrow.”

“What time?”

“Eleven.”

Castiel nodded, “I can be here—if you don’t mind?”

“Y-your c-car dude.” Dean said with a grin, “We can start picking out what you want too, I got a bunch of samples here.”

It was definitely because the alpha was sweaty, but his scent was strong. It curled around the garage and made Dean feel like even though it was hot—there was a cool breeze. It was refreshing.

Chapter Text

Dean got to the garage early the next day. Castiel wouldn’t be there for a bit, but that made it easier to set everything up. It was Sunday, so the garage was empty. Bobby had kept the garage on on-call only on Sundays. Not that Bobby was particularly religious, he just liked having a built-in day without having to deal with ‘idjits’. Dean was fine with that. Though it didn’t occur to him until he got to the garage that Castiel and Dean would be by themselves. He thought about calling Colette, but he didn’t want to make it a big deal. He trusted Castiel—probably. Hopefully.

“Dean?” Castiel popped his head in the door. He was wearing his trench coat, a button up, and a tie. Dean shook his head.

“Do you t-try to look like an ac-accountant?” Dean asked.

Castiel looked down at his clothes, “I don’t think so.” Seeing the alpha helped Dean relax, the cool scent already evening out his heart rate. It was already pretty warm outside, so Dean made sure the fans were on full blast in the garage as they worked. But even with the garage doors opened and the fans on, Dean started sweating pretty quickly. Castiel seemed quieter than usual, sipping his coffee between work. His scent was crisper than usual, like there was a blizzard that was blowing through. Even though it was just his scent, Dean found that it soothed him in the heat.

Dean found a few more things they would have to fix, but was pleasantly surprised by some others that were completely fine. He had a running list of parts that would be necessary. Dean wasn’t paying too much attention to the alpha, humming along to music as he slid underneath the car.

It was a bit later when he slid out, Castiel had been working at cleaning out the back seat, scrubbing bits of it that were caked in smoke. He was completely soaked in sweat.

“You n-need water dude.” Dean said.

Castiel jumped, surprised to see Dean in the corner. His eyes flashed and he gave a bit of a growl, so Dean backed up, his heart pounding with his hands up.

“Shit—sorry Dean. You surprised me.” Castiel let out a slow breath.

“I-I-I” Dean swallowed. For the thousandth time, Dean wished he didn’t panic around alphas. He couldn’t help it. He took a deep breath, “I’ll g-get w-water.” Dean abandoned the car to walk into the office. There was a refrigerator in Bobby’s office with some water bottles. The A/C in the office felt incredible even if it was a bit jarring, cooling Dean off as he reached for the water. He pulled two out, cracking open his own and taking a drink. The door opened, the alpha had followed him back into the office.

“Dean, I apologize. I know my scent can put people on edge when I’m angry—scaring you only added to it. I should not have come.” His button down was soaked through, Dean could see the outline of his undershirt.

“N-not angry w-with me?”

“No!” Castiel said strongly, “No. Had a call this morning—my family.”

“Ana?”

“No—God, no.” Castiel shook his head, “I’m sure you’ve heard of the Angel brothers?”

Dean nodded, “Cain worked for them. They’re your b-brothers?”

“Yes. My mother also works with them. I avoid them when I can.” Castiel said, taking a sip of water, “Do you happen to have a shirt I can change into?”

“Tons.” Dean affirmed. He opened the uniform closet and grabbed one of the printed t-shirts with ‘Singer's Auto’ written on it. He tossed it over to Castiel.

“Bathroom?”

“Through there.” Dean pointed at the door. Castiel nodded, walking in. Dean listened the the AC run as he waited, sipping on his water again. The door opened slowly.

“I—do you happen to have a long sleeve?” Castiel asked, half standing in the doorway as he wore his new shirt.

Dean shook his head, “Only short.” He wanted to whine at the displeased scent that unfurled from Castiel. He had to grit his teeth against it. Castiel frowned, but stepped out from behind the door. Dean couldn’t control his small gasp, staring at his left arm that was covered in alpha bites. There was a bit on his forearm that looked like it was missing a chunk—and a bit like candle wax in the middle as a bunch of scar tissue came together.

“I got a few alpha issues of my own.” Castiel said, his cheeks red.

“Jesus, Cas.” Dean whispered, “Were they trying to bond with you or kill you?”

Castiel gave a wet laugh, “Great question.” Dean couldn’t help but touch one of the scars.

“You’re more suggestible when you receive a bite—did you know that?” Castiel asked calmly. It was slow, like he was trying to be intentional, “It’s in our genetics. It’s an evolutionary benefit, allowing packs to blend together more seamlessly.”

“I-I knew that.” Dean whispered.

“Also been used in a few brain washing cults—some religions. I was named after an angel.” It seemed like a non-sequitur, but Dean was a pro at reading between the lines since he practically invented it.

“Your family religious?”

“Must serve God and your country.” Castiel’s voice was low, “Even if you have second thoughts.”

“You were military?” Dean asked.

Castiel gave a sharp nod, “Military doctor.”

“How’d you get away?” Dean looked up at Cas, his eyes looked far away.

“Not in the best way.” He admitted with a grin, “Pulled out a bunch of money from my trust fund and ran.”

Dean snorted, “Trust f-fund?”

“My mom has money.” He shrugged, “Drifted for a while. Found Gabriel—my brother—working in a bakery. Ana reached out not long after that—so now we’re our own pack. Changed our last name to Novak and never looked back.”

“That’s awesome Cas.” Dean said, a smile on his face.

Cas smiled back brightly, “Took me awhile, but I got there. I’m proud of my pack—I just don’t like to show my arm if I don’t have to.”

“I understand.” Dean said, waving his own arm, “Different, but I u-understand.”

“May I?” Castiel asked, pointing to his arm. Dean offered it. Castiel’s grip was light, his scent growing more of a deep pine as he stared at Cain’s mostly healed bite mark, “Looks well taken care of.”

Dean blushed, “Cain’s neurotic.” Castiel’s finger gently went over his father’s bite, then Sam’s. The marks both nearly faded.

“I am sorry they did not treat you well.”

Dean nodded, “My d-dad was-wasn’t—” He cleared his throat, “Doesn’t l-like having an o-omega for a son.”

“And the other alpha?” Castiel asked.

“Left.” Dean whispered, taking a step back. The scent of snow got stronger, it felt like Dean was getting buried in a snow drift.

“Sorry—I know my scent is awful when angry. I’m not mad at you.”

“That’s—that’s your angry scent?” Dean asked.

“Yeah.” Cas looked at him.

“Hm.” Dean hummed, “I like it.” He blushed when he realized what he said. Castiel barked a loud laugh, the tension in the room dissipating, “Let’s go finish up stripping your truck.”

“Can we get burgers after? I’m starved.” Cas said, following him out into the garage.

“Sure dude.”

The feel in the garage was much lighter after the conversation. Dean heard Cas humming along to the music as well. After about another hour of work, Dean called it quits. Castiel convinced him to go to a diner he hadn’t heard about in order to get burger. The alpha claimed that they were the best burgers in the area, so Dean would have to be the judge of that.

They sat in a booth by a window, discussing cars as they ate. It was safer territory, as Dean was a bit wary to ask about Castiel’s pack. He seemed very protective over them—for obvious reasons.

And while Dean would swear that the Roadhouse did make better burgers, he was quite sure that this place did have better fries. And the burgers were pretty damn good. And all the dipping sauces were perfection.

“I wonder if they have pie.” Dean said, looking over at the counter.

“Hold off on dessert.” Cas said.

“Hold off?” Dean asked, turning back around to him.

“Yeah. My brother’s place is down the street—his is definitely worth the trip.” Cas paid the bill, even though Dean tried to stop him. Cas waved him off, saying that it was part of his down payment on the car anyway. They slid out of the booth and walked down the street, Dean was glad for a moment to stretch his legs.

The dessert place Dean had been to once before. The sign ‘Baked for Baked’ had the vague impression of a marijuana leaf. The place was busy, people wandering in and out holding various wrapped treats. The inside was adorable with large display cases, but the whole place was covered in plants. If a flat surface didn’t have a pastry, there was some sort of greenery.

“Cassie!” A shorter man popped up from behind the counter, “Hannah, can you cover for me?”

“Sure boss.” Came the reply.

“You must be Dean-o!” Gabriel grinned, “You got him all hyped up about his car.”

“H-hope so.” Dean said, shaking the omega’s hand. Gabriel’s left arm was in a similar state as Castiel’s, though not as bad.

“I was bragging about your desserts,” Cas told him.

“You’ve come to the right place—come on back.” Gabriel flipped open the counter with a spin, motioning to the back. Castiel waved with his arm, so Dean followed Gabriel to the back. It smelled delicious—like caramel, sugar and pastry. Pastries were resting on racks, or covered in plastic.

“I’ll get you a few different options.” Gabriel said, whirring around the room. Castiel slid out one of the bar stools, pulling one out for Dean as well. The tray in front of them had slices of pie, cinnamon pastries, fruit pastries—and multiple chocolate options, “Given you guys the broken bits I don’t put out front—so thanks for clearing out the garbage.” Gabriel said with a wink, popping a bit of pastry in his mouth.

Dean was eyeing the apple pie, so he took a bit of that first. He groaned—it was definitely the best pie he had ever eaten, “Shit, that’s fantastic.”

“Right on.” Gabriel said with a smile, plopping down in his own chair.

“Colette has gotten stuff from here before—she loves your scones, and your muffins.” Dean told him.

“Colette is a great customer.” Gabriel nodded, “she brings in a lot of great customers too.” Dean nodded. Colette had referred Baked for Baked to many people—and Cain used them for any business meeting he had. Gabriel reached out with his right arm to slide a pastry tray around, revealing one solitary bite. It was against tradition to be on the right side, but Gabriel didn’t strike Dean as someone to follow tradition anyway, “Got Cassie’s bite on its own arm so it isn’t muddled by all this shit.” Gabriel said when he caught Dean staring.

“Sorry.” Dean whispered.

“It’s alright. I’m not ashamed of what I went through. I had a shitty mom alpha that tried to control me with a bite. I got out as soon as I turned eighteen. Thought I was going to be on my own forever until my little brother showed up.” Gabriel ruffled Castiel’s hair.

“Gabriel.” Cas growled, putting his hair back to normal.

Dean couldn’t breathe.

“Little brother?” Dean asked, feeling like he was detached from his body.

“Gabriel is four years older than me, though he acts like a child so I am sure you find it surprising.” Castiel said, his voice gravely.

“Just because I’m not all serious like you.” Gabriel said, throwing a bit of pastry at him. Cas caught it, tossing it into his mouth.

“Your l-little b-brother is y-your alpha?” Dean asked Gabriel. He felt like he was going to throw up.

“Yeah, for the past—uh, ten-ish years?” Gabriel looked to Castiel. Cas nodded. Dean didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t believe—he couldn’t believe this was real. Gabriel wasn’t ashamed—Cas didn’t hide it. Dean could hear something being said, but he was trying to move away. Everything was too bright—the smells were too much. His heart was racing and he couldn’t hear.

Sam.

Don’t show anyone that, it’s embarrassing.

It’s pathetic to have your younger brother as an alpha.

Dean opened a closet door and was grateful it was a small closet. He dropped down to the floor, putting his head between his knees. He put his hands over his head, trying not to hear all the thoughts in his head.

The closet door opened and closed again. The sugary sweet smell was back as Gabriel sat down next to him. Dean was tense, not sure what the omega was going to say.

“I used to be like you.” Gabriel said lowly, “Stutter really bad, flinched at nearly every alpha I saw. I broke the bond with my mother and ran away. It hurt like fuckin’ hell and I thought I was going to split apart. But that was way fuckin’ better than what my mother did to me. She didn’t like that I was an omega—a sin against God or something.” Gabriel huffed, “I left as Castiel was growing up—thought he would be fine without me.” The door opened again, Castiel slipped in and also sat down on the floor. Dean took a deep breath, trying not to shake. The smell of pine helped loosen his jaw as he stared at the floor.

“She used to bite me and tell me I wasn’t going into heat. My body would fritz out, trying to comply. Bite me and told me to behave like an alpha—and I just knew I couldn’t. I tried to play it off like my omega didn’t break apart every time I couldn’t listen to an order.” Gabriel shook his head then sighed, “I didn’t take a bond for a while—just lived on my own. I had flair ups, but I managed them. I worked at a bakery with a guy who was patient and understanding of my condition. I wasn’t going to take an alpha bond because they were manipulative. Stupid.” He held out his arm with the multiple bites, “Each one was trying to get me to suppress my nature—to stop my heats or deny them. It was fuckin’ awful.”

Dean sat up a bit, holding his breath.

“I ended up in a bond with the older guy who owned the bakery before I did. He taught me that not all alphas are absolute dicks. That’s when Cassie came knocking.” Gabriel smiled, “Took us a bit to get our shit together and join his pack, but now my stutter is gone and I feel like I can breathe again.” It was quiet for a while. The two scents helped Dean breathe. He knew he wanted to talk about it, he hadn’t even managed to tell Missouri what happened yet. The last time he tried, his jaw locked up. But after hearing Gabriel, maybe—maybe he could.

“Sam was m-my last alpha. Little brother.” Dean managed to whisper, “He’s good at first. All we had was each other after we l-left Dad. T-that was the first t-time I had a b-bond collapse—Bobby t-took us away from h-him.” Dean stared at the tile and tried not to think of the two next to him, or to feel anything much at all, “Sam understood me. T-then he got to high-school and it ch-changed. St-started d-dating a girl named R-ruby soph-sophomore year.” Dean shivered against his will, “She H-hated me. C-called me n-names. It s-started off slow with l-little stuff, Sam didn’t s-stop it. Made me c-cover m-my pack m-mark.”

“Jesus.” Gabriel growled.

“W-would always say he would hang out—then never show up. He’d get mad if I was upset. He’d get mad if I asked t-to spend time t-together. Make fun of my s-stutter.” Castiel growled a bit, Dean stared at him.

“Sorry.” Castiel murmured, “Not mad at you.”

Dean managed a smile, “H-heats were the w-worst. R-ruby said I was w-weird for wanting to be a-around S-Sam. He w-wouldn't let me around h-him d-during. Just l-locked in my r-room."

"Jesus." Gabriel whispered, rubbing Deans back a bit like the comfort now could make up for the time missed.

"I didn't w-want to have sex with him." Dean said strongly. 

"Course you didn't!" Gabe declared, his face uncharacteristically serious, "What the fuck? Why would he think that?" 

"Ruby." Dean explained, "S-said I s-should be by myself." Castiel's scent got stronger of snow, nearly burning Dean's nose. 

"It is an alpha's job to comfort omegas during heats. To know they are cared for- supported. It is a biological need. His behavior is abusive." Castiel stated like it was textbook, it probably was. It was a relief they were both so horrified by Sam's behavior. It was one of Dean's biggest fears in sharing the story, that someone else would accuse him of wanting incest. He never ever wanted that with Sam. Seeing Sam's look of disbelief when he only wanted to curl up next to him on the couch always felt like he was being carved up with a knife. 

"By the time his j-junior year s-started, it was l-like egg sh-shells. S-sam was always g-going to go to Stanford. H-helped him w-with the application my-myself. He g-got in—that was a g-good day. W-was hoping d-distance from Ruby would m-make them break up.” Dean rubbed his leg, drawing himself tighter, “P-party g-got broken up senior y-year. Cocaine. O-other drugs. S-sam was high. I found out a-about and snuck him out before the c-cops got ‘em. Ruby g-got arrested. Bobby w-was p-pissed. S-sent him to a rehab. S-sam was p-pissed we broke up R-ruby and him. Came b-back home before he was supposed t-to leave for school.” Dean felt tears in his eyes but he kept them from falling as he whispered the last part, “S-said it was my fault, b-broke the bond and left.”

It was quiet for a while, Dean let silent tears fall into his arms. Gabriel held onto high tightly, Castiel moved to Dean’s other side and pressed against his side. There weren't words of platitude, but just silent support. 

“Tell me where he lives, and we’ll egg his place.” Gabriel finally broke the silence and it made Dean smile. He peaked out from beneath his knees, looking over at the omega, “I’m serious. Give me an address—hell, actually I have his first name. What’s your last name?”

“Winchester.” Castiel answered.

“I’ll find him on my own, egg his apartment or wherever he lives on campus. Make sure he can never find any matching shoes. Dump water in his bed.” Dean snorted.

“I will not risk getting arrested, but I’ll drive you there.” Castiel said. Dean smiled.

“Come on alpha, live a little.” Gabriel whined.

“Absolutely not—but I will purchase the eggs.” Castiel said magnanimously, Dean chuckled a bit and looked over at the alpha, “I will look the other way as you throw them for plausible deniability” That made Dean laugh a bit more, his body loosening up a bit.

“Think you can get up? I’ll get the scotch out—this conversation needs it.” Gabriel said as he wiggled to get up.

“T-think so.” Dean said, wondering if that were true.

“We can stay a bit longer, fine by me.” Gabriel shrugged as he opened the closet door, “I’ll come back with booze and dessert.”

Gabriel brought back three glasses of scotch on the rocks and an entire tray full of sweets. Dean sat on the floor, eating and taking small sips. He still wasn’t drinking too much, but now it wasn’t nearly as bad as it used to be. Gabriel told stories about customers, making Dean cry from laughter. The tightness in his chest loosened as Gabriel told stories. Dean couldn’t remember the last time he laughed that hard. Gabriel knew he had an audience, so his stories became more and more dramatic.

There was a knock, eventually, on the closet door, “Gabriel? We’re finished closing up, just wanted you to know.” Hannah’s voice called from outside the door. Gabriel reached up and pushed the door open, “Thanks Hannah, I appreciate it. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“What time is it?” Dean asked, looking to Castiel.

“Nearly eight.”

“I should get home.” Dean huffed.

“Yeah, you need to snuggle up to that gorgeous alpha of yours.” Gabe said with a wink, Dean turned a bit red, “I’d climb that man like a tree.”

“He’s got a mate.” Castiel told him as he stood up.

“I know—I wouldn’t mind being in the middle of that sandwich.”

“Don’t be crass.” Cas wrapped his arm around Gabe as he said it, rubbing his head on him. It was a clear scent mark, making Dean smile.

“Want to take stuff home for Cain and Colette?” Gabe asked, “I got a few more things I can give away.”

“Yeah—they m-might mur-murder me if I was h-here and didn’t b-bring anything back.” Dean confessed. Castiel snorted as Gabriel preened, gathering together a few items. Castiel and Gabriel started bickering as they moved around the kitchen, clearly used to being around each other.

“Come on, alpha. Help me clean.” Gabriel whined.

“If you kept to my earlier devised system, it wouldn’t be this messy.”

“Inspiration comes in many forms.”

“Not dirty dishes.” Cas countered.

“Thanks g-guys. I’m going to head h-home.” Dean managed to butt in.

“Will you text me when you work on the car again?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah, I got a few parts in—but some of the ones on order will be here late next week.”

Castiel nodded, “Sounds good. Goodnight Dean.”

“Night Cas. Thanks Gabe.”

“Bye Dean.” Gabe waved at him with a smirk.

Dean got in the Imapala and took a deep breath. His emotions were still coming down, he couldn’t quite believe he finally told someone other than Bobby what had happened. It felt like knives coming out, but he did feel a bit lighter already. He drove back home carefully, as it was dusk and animals were on the road. But it didn’t take long before he was pulling into Cain’s—or perhaps his—garage. He put the tray of Gabe’s treats on the counter, most of the house lights were off when he came in.

“Hey! What is that?” Cain asked, maneuvering on the couch so he could see Dean.

“Baked for Baked.” Dean said.

“Oh shit, bring that over here.” Cain declared.

“Colette asleep?”

“No—she has the late shift today.” Cain said as Dean plopped the box down on the ottoman.

“What are you watching?

“James Bond.” Cain said, groaning when he opened the box. He grabbed a pastry and settled back on the couch, putting his feet up, “What is it?” He asked. Dean was staring at the box.

“What?” Dean looked at Cain, his eyes were furrowed in concern.

“You look like you have something to say.” Cain said. Dean was sitting on the edge of the couch, perched as if he was about to speak.

The whole story of the day came tumbling out. Castiel coming over to the garage—nothing about Castiel's bites, since that was private—but how he was nervous, then he wasn’t. Dean talked to him about dinner, how weird it was to be comfortable around an alpha.

Then the whole story about his panic attack.

And Sam.

Dean sighed, “I was planning on telling you first—Christ, I haven’t even told Missouri. But I—I knew it was the right place with the right people.” He was crying a bit. Cain took one of the napkins that was in the Baked box and dabbed Dean’s face, wiping up the tears. Dean didn’t think anyone had done that since he was a pup.

“Thank you for telling me what happened.” Cain said sincerely, “You do not owe it to me, so please stop saying that. I wanted to know, so I am glad you told me. I am also very glad that Castiel and Gabriel could be there for you and show you that it is nothing to be ashamed over, alright?” Dean nodded slowly, and Cain brought him into a tight bear hug.

Dean was holding him just as tightly back. He was crying a bit too much; he was surprised he had any tears left to cry after such an emotional day already. Cain scent marked behind his ear, gripping him like he might disappear. Dean had no idea how long they remained like that, but after a while, Dean pulled himself away. Cain grabbed his arm with the pack mark.

“May I?” He asked.

Dean nodded, and Cain’s teeth were in his arm in a flash. The pack bond settled just that much more, making Dean feel protected and loved.

“Thank you for telling me.” Cain said again. Dean nodded slowly, taking in Cain’s pack scent, “Come on, let’s snuggle and watch James Bond do sexy things.”

Dean snorted, but snuggled up to his alpha as ordered. Cain kept his arm wrapped around Dean, pulling him tight to his chest. They had both seen Casino Royal before, so Dean was asleep before too long.

Chapter Text

Missouri had a special talent for making Dean feel like he could conquer any problem. She had homework for him every week. Stuff that made him uncomfortable, stuff that he was convinced he would never be able to do. But he did it. He had conversations with Cain, Bobby and Colette. He started to voice his opinion more. He was getting used to the word trauma. What he went through was traumatic. Missouri explained he had an over-reactive stress response. While it was beneficial for him to be extremely sensitive toward alpha emotions when his alpha was his dad or Sam, it wasn't helpful when he was around other alphas or with Cain.

Keeping a journal of what was happening exactly when he started to get anxious allowed him to see certain patterns. Anytime Cain ran late, Dean would spiral out of control rather quickly and convince himself that Cain would never arrive. Missouri coached him through how to explain it to Colette and Cain that running late wreaked havoc on his system. The conversation with them caused an extreme amount of anxiety, but both Cain and Colette were understanding, supportive and changed their behavior immediately.

Another bit Dean noticed was that he was still very anxious around unknown alphas. He wasn't sure what would help him relax more, but he noticed the closer he was to Cain the better off he felt. Cain admitted that he was a bit territorial, so he usually put an arm or hand on Dean when around a bunch of alphas. It helped Dean when they were in the grocery store together. 

Every conversation he had with Cain and Colette helped him believe in himself a bit more. Being around other omegas at the omega house also helped him feel less crazy. Dean was meeting with Missouri at the omega house for therapy so he could also feel less isolated.

“Now there is something we haven’t discussed yet—your heat.” Missouri said and Dean flushed, feeling like his mom had just asked about sex.

“I don’t get them.” Dean said solidly.

“You didn’t get them. You haven’t had a consistent and healthy alpha bond your whole life. You need to make a gynecologist appointment and go. And you need to be prepared when it happens.”

Dean slouched in his chair. He considered himself rather lucky that at least his heats weren’t too bad. He got them occasionally when Sam was his alpha—but they were always light and lasted only three days. Omegas without a partner to satiate their heat needed to be in their nest and keeping their alpha’s scent close. It wasn’t a sexual thing, but one for comfort and rest. Other members of the pack’s scent were also important. Colette had her heat a few weeks ago and had stolen two of Dean’s flannel shirts. She also snuggled with him between flair ups, wanting to be close to her other pack member.

“This will probably be similar to your first heats—your libido might not make a feature at all.” Dean blushed, covering his face, “We have to talk about it, sugar, I don’t want any surprises for you—ok?”

Dean groaned, “Yeah, I don’t either.”

“You will need to go get some heat supplies, I am assuming you don’t have any?” Dean shook his head. He hadn’t really needed them—his libido had sort of disappeared.

“Are you sexually active?” Missouri asked.

“I’ve had sex.” Dean grumbled.

“When was the last time?”

“Four years ago?”

“Have you been sexually active with an alpha?” Missouri asked, and Dean shook his head. No. Not once. Not ever, “Are you sexually attracted to alphas?” Dean wanted to die. He wanted to pretend this wasn’t happening, “There are different toys for different types of attractions. How are you going to buy them, sugar, if you can’t even talk about ‘em?”

“Order online.” He answered behind his hands.

Missouri laughed, “You need to talk to other omegas, get an idea of what they like so you can go buy something as well. It might be more comforting to go with another omega to the shop. You need to actually buy something, not just hope it never happens.” Missouri warned, “Different heats effect everyone differently, so be prepared for lots of options. Pam’s libido came back very quickly, but Ana’s didn’t for an entire year.”

“I’ll ask Ana.” He said.

“Can I ask why you are hoping your libido does not come back during your heat?” Missouri asked.

“Too much fuss.” Dean kept his face covered, “S-Sam—” His voice cut off, “Didn’t un-understand.” Missouri was quiet for a while, letting the silence stretch on. Dean knew it was because she wanted him to say more, “H-he m-made it w-weird. S-said R-Ruby s-said it was w-weird.”

“Honey, heats are not weird. They have been around since the dawn of time. Heats are about family—about pack. Part of it is makin’ more pack—but the other part is bonding with your pack. It’s both.” Dean nodded, “Next time in the group session with Cain, we’re going to talk about it.”

“What?” Dean uncovered his eyes to stare at her gob smacked, “No!”

“Why?”

“Because—because—” Dean huffed, flopping back in his chair, “Because I was lying to you and was going to blissfully deny my biology and hope I just don’t have a heat.”

Missouri hummed. Dean couldn’t see her face, but knew he was getting a glare, “You know I don’t like lies, sugar.”

“I know.” Dean grumbled.

“Now, Ana is here today. Go and talk to her.”

“Fine.” Dean moved to sit up.

“And I’ll see you and Cain on Thursday.” Dean groaned but nodded.

It was just his luck that Ana was standing not too far outside the door when he and Missouri walked out of the therapy room. Ana smiled as he walked out, her feet were up on the ottoman and she was watching re-runs of the Real Housewives of New York. He could feel Missouri’s eyes on him so he blurted out, “I need to go shopping for heat supplies and I need help.”

Ana smiled, “I’d love to help, I’ll text Gabe too. He can go with us.” Dean wasn’t sure how he felt about Gabriel going along as well. Ana probably sensed it as he sat down next to her on the couch, “Gabriel is probably the most embarrassing person to go heat shopping with, but it’s definitely worth it. I was too self-conscious and shy to get anything, but he made sure I got it. And he explained everything. My heats for a while were more about snuggling, but I still needed supplies. Plus, Gabriel makes jokes out of everything so it doesn’t make you feel like you’re pulling out your own fingernails.”

“Thanks for that v-visual.” Dean replied.

“We’ll go out for drinks and wings after? I want you to meet my girlfriend. Cas will be there too.” Dean had heard a lot about Charlie, but had not met her yet. She was in the tech industry and apparently could talk faster than Ana.

When Dean pulled up to the store, he nearly barfed and drove away. Ana suggested a heat store that was only for Omega heats. Walgreens had items, but it was always more awkward. And according to Ana, the heat store had better stuff anyway. Ana’s car was already parked out front, which was the only reason he didn’t immediately drive away.

“Dean-o!” Gabriel greeted with a wave, “Come on.”

“Gabriel—you’re limited to ten puns.” Ana said, closing the car door.

“I do not accept those terms.” Gabriel said haughtily. He opened the door in a grand gesture, waving the two inside. Dean was not prepared for how it looked on the inside. It felt more like a hippy coffee shop than a sex shop. There were plants everywhere with natural shelves that stocked product. There were little signs next to product on how it worked, or how it should be applied. But there was also a big sign behind the check out that said in script Have Questions? Please ask. No Shame. Just Pleasure.

“You need one of these.” Ana grabbed a weighted blanket, “Makes you feel snuggled with when you don’t have a partner in bed with you.”

“Hey Novaks.” A woman walked up with a devil-may-care attitude.

“Hey Meg.” Ana greeted with a smile, “Brought a new customer.”

“Dean.” He managed to say with a flush.

“First timers get a ten percent discount—if you have any questions—” She dragged off and waved at herself.

“I probably know more than you anyway, sweet cheeks.” Gabriel said with a wink.

“Hm.” Meg rolled her eyes, walking back up to the counter. There wasn’t anyone else in the store, but Dean was still a bright red as they walked down the aisles.

“You need one of these.” Gabriel grabbed a vibrating knot, “Do you want blue? Pink?” Dean wanted a hole in the ground to open up and take him away. He shook his head, unable to speak, “You definitely want one. Better to have it, not need it than to experiment and be in the ER with something stuck up your ass.”

Dean was going to die. But Gabe was right.

“Blue’sfine.” He slurred. Then he checked the price tag, “One fifty? Don’t they have cheaper options?”

“Don’t skimp on heat toys.” Ana said resolutely, “You won’t regret it.”

“You more of an ass or dick guy during heat?” Gabe asked.

Dean wondered if it was possible to spontaneously have your heart stop working, “What?”

“Some male omegas like stuff on their dick more during heats than their ass. Just because you leak there doesn’t mean you want it there.” Gabe said seriously.

“Here. Here.” Meg said with her feet propped up on the table, she had a book opened called All Omegas Means ALL Omegas.

“I dunno—my l-last heat w-was a-a-a-while ago.” Dean admitted.

“Then we get both.” Gabe said, “And lube—you need lube.”

“But slick?” Dean managed to ask.

“Sometimes isn’t enough, sometimes is.” Ana said with a shrug, “Always helpful, especially at the end when it gets exhausting. And are you a boxer briefs kinda guy? I grabbed two packs of the heat briefs. They’re absorbent—you can wash them after or if you can during. Super convenient during the down time in between.” Dean nodded, feeling the material of the black boxer briefs. Being less of a slick mess was definitely better for him.

“Oh! You’ll need absorbent towels too. Helps mop up everything.” Gabe waved around as he through a box of towels into Dean’s basket, “Cum. Slick. All of it. And you need electrolyte packets—I like these myself. Helps with the pain and cramping too that sometimes happens.” Gabe said, picking them up off the shelf as well as protein bars, “Need to be prepared for snacks too.”

Dean definitely did not want to look at the bill when he swiped his credit card. It was one given to him by Cain with the assurance that he could not possibly spend enough to worry him, but this definitely worried Dean. There were a few more things throne into the cart—a flesh light, a different type of vibrator, more lube.

Ana and Gabe were poking around some stuff that they hadn’t seen before as Dean checked out. Meg was scanning with efficiency when a photo caught Dean’s eye. It was of Meg, she was kissing the cheek of another woman in the photo—it was Ruby.

“You makin’ eyes at my girlfriend?” Meg said with a smirk, “We would definitely be willing to share you.” She winked at Dean.

Dean shook his head, “N-no. S-She-sh-she.” Dean stuttered, he took a deep breath. She wasn’t here. He wanted to vomit.

“Oh shit—you knew her before.” Meg said, her tone serious.

“Before?” Dean whispered.

“She went to rehab a few years ago—lots of therapy. Turned her life around. She overdosed—nearly died. I met her about a year ago. Her old man did a number on her, lots of internalized hatred of omegas.” It was weird to hear it so casually—like Ruby’s internalized hatred didn’t have such massive consequences, “How’d you know her?”

“She dated my brother.” Dean was having an out of body experience. He couldn’t believe he said it so casually. Like she didn’t rip his life apart.

“Wow, tension.” Gabe said as he walked up next to Dean, making him jump, “You alrighty-o, Dean-o?”

“That’s Ruby.” He pointed.

Gabriel’s entire demeanor changed. He slid closer to Dean, glaring at the photo, “Looks like a cunt—Meg, you got shit taste in women.”

Meg scowled, “She’s been through a lot.”

“Yeah, sweet cheeks, she caused a lot of damage too.” Gabriel growled a bit, “You finished checking out? We can go.” Dean nodded, feeling a little woozy. Ana grabbed the bags and walked it to the car. Dean felt like he was in a fog as he walked to his car. He managed to put his hand on it, leaning against the warmth of it. He hoped it would make him feel better. He managed a deep breath.

Such a whiny omega.

Sammy, you should just leave him locked in his room, it’s weird he wants to be next to you. You’re his brother.

You’re a leach. He’s mine.

Dean vomited.

Something cold was pressed to his forehead as he stood up, a phone pressed to his ear.

“Dean.” Cain’s voice was calm, “You’re mine. You got that? Mine.” The sound of his alpha’s voice immediately had an impact. He could feel some of the tension leaving his body. He was someone’s. Cain wanted him.

“I’m sorry.” Dean whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Cain said strongly, “Take a deep breath for me” Dean took a shaky breath, “You need me to come get you?”

“No—I think—I w-want to get wings.” Dean said and Gabe laughed. The omega had his arm wrapped around Dean’s back, rubbing it back and forth. The sugary smell was pleasant, sort of like pie. Ana gave him a water bottle.

“Where are you guys getting wings? Colette and I can meet you.”

“The Stadium Tavern downtown.” Gabriel answered.

“I’ll meet you guys there, ok?”

“Yeah.” Dean nodded, already feeling a bit better.

“Want me to drive your car?” Gabe asked.

Dean snorted, “No. I can drive.”

“If you crash because your vomiting, it’s your fault.” Gabe sang as he slipped into the passenger side door.

“See you soon, Dean.” Cain told him.

“Thank you.” Dean whispered.

Dean was still a little shaken when he sat down for wings. He made sure he was on the side of the table with his back to the rest of the room. But even as he did it, he was surprised by how far he had come so far. Just a few weeks ago, going to this restaurant would have been all he could manage to do that week. He would have made sure to sit himself by the emergency exit, and had a plan to leave early if he couldn’t handle it. And there would be no way he could have spoken. And if he had an incident earlier that day? There would be no way he could handle dinner that night. Cain came in and sat next time him, rubbing his back once he did. Dean took in his cedar and whiskey scent, letting it curl up inside him as his omega recognized the comfort of his alpha. Something inside Dean relaxed even more, making it that much easier to enjoy dinner.

Cas also sat on the other side of Dean. His cool scent helped as well. Dean felt protected surrounded by the two alphas, allowing his nerves to settle. Ana quickly introduced the new red-headed alpha that sat down at the table. Charlie was perfect for Ana. She also had no problems challenging Cain, who found it endlessly amusing.

“And she’s a gamer, like you Dean.” Ana said proudly.

“What do you play?” Charlie asked.

“I dabble—b-but Moondoor is my f-favorite.” Dean answered.

Charlie squealed, “How long have you been playing?”

“Few years—guess it first came out in—was it 2017?”

“Launched the end of 2016.” She answered.

“So I started the summer of 2017.”

“Wow! That’s awesome—you any good?” She waggled her brows.

Dean huffed, offended, “Course, been playing too long not to be. I stay more toward the story plot lines. I get the side quests when I can, but I’ve built up an arsenal and won my own castle in the meantime.”

Charlie furrowed her brow, “Are you Impala67?” Gabriel snorted.

“Yeah.”

Charlie’s squealed even louder this time, pushing over Cas to hug Dean. Panic surged through his system; it freaked Dean out to have her so close. He reached out to grab Cas’s arm, resisting the urge to throw Charlie off of him. Charlie let go as quickly as she attacked, sitting back down before she noticed Dean’s anxiety.

“I’m Queen.” She said.

Dean's jaw dropped; he was flabbergasted. He couldn’t believe the Queen of Moondoor was sitting at the same table as him, “Your majesty.” He said with a wink, bowing as much as he could while seated.

“Dean and I have been playing with each other for years.” Charlie told Ana, “I didn’t even know you lived in Seattle!”

“I t-try not to tell random people on the internet where-where I l-live.” Dean said.

“A good practice.” Castiel said. Dean realized he was still holding Cas’s arm. He let go, taking a deep breath as he did. He should probably splash some water on his face. He got up out of his seat.

“You alright?” Cain asked quietly, turning from his conversation with Gabe.

“Yeah—bathroom.” Bathrooms at sports bars were always a toss-up. Never knew when some asshole knot head would make an omega comment. He was glad there wasn’t anyone in the restroom, so he walked over to the sink to splash some water on his face. He had to remind himself that a few months ago, if an Alpha had launched themselves at him, he would have jumped back. He would have probably just walked out of the bar. Missouri’s easy voice in his head reminded him that he had come a long way—to take this as a win. He let out a slow breath, collecting himself a bit before walking back into the bar.

It all happened a bit too quickly for him to stop it. A waitress was laughing at a comment someone made as she turned around with her tray. It was too late to stop it as a drink slid across the tray and launched onto Dean.

“Oh shit, I am so sorry!” The waitress cried. Dean managed to catch the glass to keep it from breaking.

“It’s alright.” Dean said, placing the now empty glass on her tray. She gave him some napkins, which helped soak it up. Whatever the drink was, it had some sort of syrup in it because it smelled sweet.

“You ok?” Cas appeared next to him and Dean relaxed a bit. The four alpha males at the table the waitress had picked the drink up from were all staring at him. Dean didn't realize how conscious he was of their presence until Castiel was there. 

“Yeah, just a d-drink.” Dean said.

“I have an extra shirt in my car if you want it.” Cas said.

“I’m not wearing a button-down, dude.”

Castiel laughed. It was deep, gravely. Dean had made him laugh like that, he was a bit proud of himself, “No, I have a few scrubs in the back.”

“That’ll w-work.”

Castiel quickly lead Dean outside the bar. It was quiet as they walked to Castiel’s Audi that wasn't parked too far away. He popped the trunk. Castiel’s trunk was organized within an inch. Totes of scrubs, button downs and slacks were all labeled neatly. Another bin labeled Cleaning Products was pulled out to help Dean’s shirt.

“You got a lot of clothes back here.”

“Doctor.” Castiel said with a shrug, “Stains comes with the territory. I have club soda here as well, it will help rinse out the stain.” 

“It’s alright Cas. It’s already got g-grease stains and holes in it.” Dean said as he pulled off his own shirt. Putting on the shirt Castiel had worn should not have felt as warm as it did. For a man who smelled like snow and pine, his scent made Dean feel very warm, “How do I look?” Dean asked, pushing up the sleeves a bit on the navy-blue scrubs.

“Much better.” Castiel said with a grin, handing Dean back his shirt in a gallon bag, the stain soaking.

“This is quite a lay out—should your pick up have a plan to have this type of situation in it?” Dean asked.

“I figured I would be able to work with whatever was in the back after it was finished.” Castiel said as he put the solution back in the bin and closed it.

“We can build something custom in the back, make it easier for you to get things in and out.”

“We can? That would be great.” Castiel said as he shut his trunk. When they walked back to the front of the bar, Dean didn’t realize how crowded it had gotten. He could see their table in the back, “You alright?”

“Just—don’t l-like w-walking through crowds.” Dean murmured, he let out a sigh. He knew he could do this. It was just a bunch of people—lots of alphas. But it was fine, “Alright, can I grab your arm as you lead us through?” He could almost hear Missouri's voice telling him that it was ok to voice what he needed. 

“Of course, Dean.” Castiel said, offering up his button-down covered arm, “If it is too much, just squeeze my arm and I will get us out.” Dean took his arm, holding his breath as they started to move. Castiel went towards the back wall, furthest away from the bar where there were less people. It also meant that Dean didn’t feel too surrounded. Dean stared at Castiel’s shoulder as they walked through so he didn't look at the other alphas. He could still smell them, but Cas's scent was closer. It felt like forever, but soon they were on the other side.

“You alright?” Cas asked. Dean nodded, but couldn’t make his voice work. Dean wanted to breathe in Cas's scent to get rid of all the alpha's scent all over him but he didn't know how to ask for it. Scenting was a bit more than taking someone's arm. Castiel stepped closer, squeezing Dean's arm. Dean couldn't help but move in closer, taking in Cas's scent. The first pull nearly shut Dean's brain down, transporting him to a cabin in the woods. It smelled so strongly of pine, Dean felt like he was there. Another deep breath centered him even more. HIs heart rate began to drop. 

"Ok?" Cas asked.

"Yeah." Dean whispered. Cas squeezed his arm again, stepping back. They walked back over to their table.

“Were we all supposed to change once we got our food?” Gabe asked as they sat down.

“Waitress accidentally spilled a drink on Dean.” Castiel answered for him. Dean wanted to press his nose to Cas to pull in his pine scent again for reassurance. He just managed to be able to not do it, taking a small sip of his beer. He was glad he was still on his first one. Cain wrapped an arm on Dean's chair. Just the small, slightly territorial, movement helped Dean. 

“You show him your serial killer trunk?” Gabe asked.

“That serial k-killer t-trunk saved me.” Dean argued.

“I’m a doctor. It’s best to be prepared.” Castiel said solidly.

“Still means you’re probably a serial killer.” Gabe said.

“What’s in his trunk?” Colette asked.

“Changes of clothes, stuff to deal with stains. You’re a nurse, you must understand this.” Castiel said.

“I have multiple changes of clothes at the hospital—none in my car. But that’s a good idea.”

Dinner was fantastic. The wings were some of the best that Dean had ever had and it was the most relaxed he felt in a while. He was proud of himself for being coming this far. At the end of dinner, Ana went for the side exit—complaining about too many alphas crowding the front. Dean followed her. He had too many wins to count, he didn’t need to prove a point by walking through the now massive crowd of people watching the football game on the TVs up front.

That night, he pulled all of his purchases from the heat shop out into his room. He was a bit too embarrassed to unbox some, so he put them in his closet for when he needed them. The weighted blanket was too tempting to ignore so he put a washed duvet over it and curled into bed. It took some adjusting, moving blankets and pillows around so it was perfect. He grabbed a pillow from the living room before climbing in.

He knew it was a bit embarrassing to have Castiel’s shirt in the bed with him, but it smelled too good. Under the blanket, he could smell it even better. It calmed his racing heart, and allowed him to fall into an easy sleep.

Chapter Text

Dean rolled over feeling vaguely gross. He wasn’t sure why. He glanced over at his phone which read 4:00AM but no missed calls or any reason why he had woken up. He took a sharp breath, sitting up again and his head felt like it was swimming. He grabbed his water bottle by his bed and chugged it, wiping his mouth and putting it to the side.

He let out a slow breath and his stomach cramped.

He was in heat.

Dean felt the absurd need to look down at his stomach like that would give him the answer. The achy-ness now made much more sense. He wasn’t slick, but he was sweaty. He pulled the weighted blanket with him as he walked to the closet. He was less embarrassed in the dead of night to open the toys he stashed in the closet. He was a bit on auto pilot as he unboxed them. All of the toys required charging, and while he didn’t feel even a twitch of arousal at the moment—he was scared he would. He lined up the knot toy and the flesh light up to their charging chords. The sheets were soaked with sweat, so Dean stripped them to wash. He kept the weighted blanket over his shoulders as he walked to the laundry room and threw in his sheets as well as the new slick absorbent underwear. He wouldn’t usually throw them in the same load, but he didn't want to risk it later.  

“Dean? Why are you awake?” A tired deep voice grumbled called out just as Dean put away the detergent, the washer already running. Cain was standing in the doorway to the laundry room with his eyes squinted in the light. His hair was a bit everywhere. Dean had to get to his smell faster.

“Woah.” Cain said, but Dean wasn’t paying attention. He pressed his nose against Cain’s shoulder, breathing him in deeply. Dean wrapped an arm around Cain, holding him close. When he realized what he was doing, he froze.

“Shit.” Dean pulled back rapidly, his heart pounding in his chest, “I’m sorry. I’ll go to my room I swear—please don’t get rid of me.” He felt like he might vomit. They were supposed to talk to Missouri before he had his heat. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

A deep growl ripped him from his thoughts, terrifying him. Dean pressed his back against the wall, covering his head.

“Dean. You’re mine.” Cain said deeply, making Dean whimper, “You are not going anywhere.” He pulled Dean into his lap on the floor, grabbing the weighted blanket and pulling it over the two of them.

“I’m sorry.” Dean whimpered.

“Having a heat is part of a normal, healthy life for an omega. I have been expecting once since you moved in.” Cain said.

“Y-you h-have?” Dean asked. Cain was rubbing his back in smooth, circular motions. He tried to match his breathing with Cain's, slow and clam.

“Of course. Your brother made you feel horrible about your heats in the past. Claiming it was ‘weird’ to get help from your brother.”

“I didn’t want sex from him.”

“Of course you didn’t Dean.” Cain said so solidly that Dean let out a breath, relaxing a bit, “Heat is about pack as much as it is about making babies. Every omega is different. You needing touch from your alpha is the bare minimum.” Dean nodded, looking at the floor, “Come on, let’s get you back to your nest.”

“I need to put new sheets.” Dean grumbled.

“Ok, I got you a set of heat ones here.” Cain pulled a set out of the linen closet, “Or, not me, Colette did. But I told her to order them because she knows which ones are best.” He confessed.

“Y-you did?”

“Yeah.” Cain pulled him close, rubbing Dean’s back, “Come on. Back to your nest.”

They walked back into Dean’s room and put the new sheets on his bed. Dean dragged the weighted blanket back as well. They climbed back into bed after Dean fussed with the pillows, hiding Cas’s shirt in his own pillow during process. If Cain saw it—well, he didn’t say anything. Dean climbed in and tried to stay as far away from Cain as possible.

“Come on.” Cain pulled him close, making Dean huff.

“What if I wake up later and—” Dean couldn’t say it.

“You’re horny?”

“I think I’m going to die.” Dean groaned.

Cain laughed loudly, pulling Dean back close again, “Then tell me to get the fuck out.”

“This is horrendous.”

“You are being a drama queen. Packs share heats—your first one back is probably not going to last as long and more than likely won’t be too horny anyway.”

“You sound like a doctor.”

“Nurse.” Cain corrected, “Colette has said it a few times. We bought things in case you didn’t—but I saw your wide collection of toys over there.”

Dean stiffened, realizing all his toys were left out charging, “I think I actually might die.” He turned bright red, pulling away from Cain and covering his face. Cain was already laughing, refusing to let go. When Dean tried a bit harder, Cain just tackled him, pulling him back into the nest. He dragged the blanket over the both of them, facing Dean, “Gabriel.” Is what Dean said as his explanation.

“I am glad you made friends with Gabe and Ana—for the desserts alone—but it’s good to have friends.”

“I like them too.” Dean said. He wanted to say and Cas. But it was too soon. Too uncomfortable. Painful, like a limb that had fallen asleep. So he didn’t.

“Go to sleep, Dean.” Cain whispered. The smell of alpha curled around him. It was like bourbon on a cold night in front of a fireplace. Dean was asleep in minutes.

When Dean woke up, he was alone. His nose was buried in Cas’s shirt, his entire nest smelled like Cain and himself. It was nearly perfect. It was the best nest he had ever been in, that was for sure. He reached for his phone on the bed side table, pulling it into his nest. He let out a breath of disbelief, it was nearly one in the afternoon. He hadn’t slept so many hours since he was a teenager. His heat didn’t feel as intense at the moment. When he sat up, his stomach grumbled. He slipped out of bed, feeling a bit woozier than he originally thought, but still not too bad. When he went to put on his shirt, he nearly crawled out of his skin. It was too itchy. He ripped it off, shivering a bit. He grabbed a shirt of Cain’s and pulled it on—it still didn’t feel great, but he didn’t want to walk out into the kitchen half naked. 

“Dean.” Colette grinned as Dean walked into the kitchen, “How are you feeling?”

“Ok—anxious—but ok.” He said honestly. She was in athletic clothes, sitting at the table with her laptop open.

“Anxious?” Colette asked.

“My heats before were by myself—in my room. I t-tried n-not to be a b-burden.”

“You’re not a burden.” Colette said solidly, kissing his forehead and wrapping an arm around him, “Can I make you something for breakfast?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll make you some eggs—you need protein. Bacon?”

“Please.”

“Do you have protein bars in your room? Electrolytes?”

“I went with Gabe and Ana to the heat store yesterday. I got electrolyte packets, protein bars and a bunch of stuff.”

“Perfect. If you run out of anything, there is stuff in the linen closet in the hallway outside your room.” Dean nodded along. In no time at all, Dean was eating a breakfast sandwich made by Colette—well, he toasted the bread. It felt wonderful to be taken care of, it made him feel warm. Colette nuzzled up next to him while he ate, rubbing his back as she talked out her plans for the rest of the week. Cuddling with Colette didn't feel the same as Cain, but it felt just as necessary.

"You don't have to if you have other things to do." Dean said when Colette curled up next to him with her laptop.

"You snuggled with me during my heat, of course I want to return the favor. Plus, this is what we're supposed to do. Omega's have each other's backs."

"Right." Dean said, biting his sandwich with a grin, nuzzling her a bit after. She ran her fingers through his hair as she read the latest scholarly journal about something to do with nursing. Dean went cross eyed after the abstract, but he liked being close to her. After his sandwich, he curled back into his nest and fell asleep.

Dean woke up with a start, his fingers twisted in the sheets. He was hard. He was breathing too fast and he ached.

“Fuck.” Dean whispered. He didn’t want this. It was dark out and there was a missed call from Castiel on his phone. His cock twitched in his underwear and he wasn’t just sweaty. He really didn’t miss this.

He tried to go back to sleep, closing his eyes and willed everything to go away. He ached. He rolled over so he was on his stomach and had to bite back a groan. His hips couldn’t help but twitch again, enjoying the friction. Dean’s breathing escalated.

Maybe—maybe if he just did it quickly, he could go back to sleep. He flopped on his back, reaching into his boxers.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Dean groaned. It felt so good. It almost hurt, the pleasure was so sharp. He rubbed his balls a bit, trying to fight the urge to dip lower. He slid up his length and couldn’t help the sharp gasp, arching into his hand. It was overwhelming. He let go, letting out a deep breath and tried to calm down. The sharp need, however, did not go away. It burned within him.

“Shit.” Dean whispered to himself. His throat closed a bit, he wished he could just go back to sleep. He glanced at the sex toys charging, and his cock twitched so hard it came up off his stomach, “Fuck.” He hissed, closing his eyes. He reached down again, wrapping his hand around his already slick cock. He couldn’t help rubbing himself a few times, groaning as he did so. His entire body ached.

His hand moved on its own, driving more pleasure. The other cupped his balls. He was sure that his mind wasn’t actively deciding any of it, “Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck.” Dean moaned quietly, two fingers pushing down further. He shot off as soon as those fingers pushed inside slick heat. His hips arched up off the bed as pleasure overwhelmed him, his hand on his cock not even pausing for a second.

It wasn’t enough.

He kept his fingers inside himself, his cock still just as hard, “Fucking. Fuck.” Dean whined.

He needed the knot. Needed.

He pulled his fingers out and gasped at the pain of the loss. Sticky with sweat and slick, he managed to crawl out of his nest. Everything felt horrible as he did so, he wanted to crawl back into his nest as quickly as possible. He grabbed the knot and the paper with directions. His hands were shaking as he flipped through, trying to figure out which vibrated and which inflated the knot as he crawled back into his nest. He slipped off his boxers, tossing them somewhere. There were six buttons. One that started the vibrate, one the knot. One increased and one lowered the vibration, and the other inflated and deflated the knot. It seemed pretty simple enough. He pressed the buttons a few times just to make sure they worked.

His cock was leaking everywhere. His ass was leaking everywhere. Getting out of bed again to get the absorbent towels seemed too far away at the moment and impossible. He needed to burrow. His hands were still shaking as he guided the toy towards his ass. His cock already seemed to be on board, twitching all over the place.

“Jesus.” Dean hissed. The toy slipped in the first centimeter or so easily. His breath hitched as he pushed further and he had to bite his lip to keep from moaning. Just with the toy completely seated, he felt marginally better and worse all at the same time. It was difficult to resist the urge to slam the toy deep, to bury it inside of him. He let out a slow breath, trying to keep control. Tentatively, he pushed down the on button to vibrate.

“FUCK” He squealed, instantly turning it off again. His body ached with need. He let out a short breath, willing himself the courage to start again. He took a deep breath and pushed the ‘on’ button again, hitting the lower setting quickly. The gentle vibration was much less jarring and Dean couldn’t help but let out a low moan. He gripped his cock with his left hand, easily sliding up and down. He planted his feet, moving his right hand down between his legs. The toy slid in and out as Dean whined, his cock growing harder in his hand. He tried to be easy, but his body was demanding more. His hips pushed up into the air, the friction on his cock not enough. He switched so his right hand was on his cock, left between his legs. He fumbled a bit, but moaned at the extra finesse around his cock.

He bumped up the vibration a bit and moaned. The smell of sex only fueled him on. Each movement of the vibrator went along his prostate and sang deep in his bones. The slick sound plus vibration sounded dirty, and oh so arousing, “Shit. Shit.” Dean whispered, coming all over his fingers again. He kept pushing the toy deep inside of him, as hard as he could. He turned the vibration down a bit, as now it was

He needed a knot.

Dean sat up a bit, adjusting so that he was kneeling on the bed. It was a bit more difficult to reach the controls, but he managed. He clicked on the knot, starting to feel it swell at the base. Immediately, the omega within him started to swoon. He fell forward onto his left hand, groaning.

“Jesus.” Dean whispered, it was overwhelming. His cock was already starting to twitch again, growing even though it was a bit painful. He didn’t think he had ever experienced a heat quite like this before. Before, he could have gotten away with a quick wank and be done with it. This was sharp, overwhelming heat that curled deep in his stomach. He sat back on his heals again, letting out another slow breath as he tried to feel more in control. He pushed his hair back that was damp with sweat. His right hand was positively covered in cum, his stomach as well. He really wished he brought the towels into his nest. He looked down at his angry red cock, hoping this round would satiate him enough to go to bed. In the back of his mind, he worried it wouldn’t be enough. He took another deep breath, reach down between his legs to increase the size of the knot.

The more it grew, the more his omega keened in pleasure. Dean’s breaths were coming up short as his cock dribbled pre-cum down his length. He pushed up the knot a bit more, “Oh God.” He widened his legs a bit, rubbing the base of the toy against the bed. It rocked in him, pressing against his prostate. He needed to be full. His eyes were watering a bit as he leaned back, rubbing against the bed. One hand gripped his cock, not moving at all, “Oh godohgodohgod.” Dean hummed quietly. He reached down again, expanding the knot as big as he dared. He purred in delight, gripping the knot as hard as he could. It felt wonderful. He rocked down on the toy, rubbing his cock as fast as possible. He fell down to his arm again, fisting his own cock as he groaned into his sheets. He risked letting go of his cock for a brief second to increase the vibration. As soon as it kicked up, he came untouched. His hand was back on his cock, riding out the waves as his cum dribbled all over his fingers. He continued to rub his cock until it got soft and he winced.

He reached back and turned off the vibration that was now too much, but that didn’t feel wonderful either. He lowered it down to a dull feeling, leaving the knot inside him. He needed to get those towels. It was difficult to get out of bed, the knot rolling inside him. But there was no fucking way he would take it out at the moment. He managed to reach the towels, a protein bar and an electrolyte packet. He wiped himself off as best he could, crawling back into his nest. It smelled like sex.

Dean pulled the weighted blanket over himself, sighing as he did. His inner omega felt content and satiated—he was glad. He turned the vibration off, the little aftershocks had passed. He tried to pull the knot out, but he whined at the thought so he left it in. He grabbed the directions, reading how long it would stay inflated. Standard time was thirty minutes, but it could be programed for up to ninety minutes. And, of course, it could be deflated instantly if needed. Dean had no idea how long he liked, since it had never happened before so he figured average was a good starting point.

He curled up under the weighted blanket and was asleep in moments.

When Dean woke up again, he felt disgusting. His half-ass job of cleaning definitely needed work. The knot toy was lying abandoned between the sheets; Dean half remembered when he pulled it out once it deflated. He definitely would have to increase the time. When he sat up, the heat was still curled in his body but it wasn’t arousal. He felt a little wobbly as he got up. He needed to wash his sheets and a shower. He stripped his sheets before going into the bathroom. Dean looked in the mirror, still half expecting his body to look different. The shower felt incredible. He didn’t want to think about the dried bits in his hair.

He pulled on his absorbent briefs when he got out and a shirt of Cain’s. His sheets from the day before were out of the dryer, folded neatly. He threw the gross ones into the washer, taking his new set and putting them on the bed.

When he wandered out into the kitchen, Cain and Colette were drinking coffee.

“Morning” Cain said with a smile.

“How are you feeling?” Colette asked. His fingers itched in desire to snuggle up to both of them.

“Good—less gross.” Dean said with a sigh, sitting down across from them.

“Why don’t you two sit here, and I’ll start breakfast?” Cain asked. Dean couldn’t help the purr that came from his chest, being provided for by his alpha sounded incredible. He flushed red as soon as he did it.

“Sorry.” He covered his face.

Cain laughed jovially, getting off the bench, “I will provide for my omegas.” He kissed Colette’s cheek before standing up and walking around the table. He wrapped an arm around Dean, scent marking his head. Dean grasped onto his arm, feeling a bit emotional. He wasn’t being shamed. He wasn’t locked in his room. It was overwhelming. Cain kissed the top of his head, “Eggs and sausage sound good?”

“And Texas toast.” Colette chirped.

“You got it!” He winked, letting go of Dean.

“Come on. I’m sure you need a snuggle or two, we can sit on the couch while he cooks.”

Colette curled up with him and ran her fingers through his hair.

It was the best heat he ever experienced. Even when it eventually flared up again later, he just retreated into his nest and took care of it. It was still a bit overwhelming, but no one shamed him. He wasn’t worried about someone bursting in and yelling at his nest. It took four days, but when his heat ended he felt like a weight had lifted from his shoulders.

“Hey Bobby” Dean called out as he walked into Bobby’s office. Bobby looked at him and blinked a few times, a smile spreading across his face, “What?”

“Nuthin’” He said with a grunt, “Got a car waiting for you.”

“Ok—you just looked at me weird.” Dean said with a raised brow.

Bobby shrugged, “You look healthy.”

Dean snorted, “I look healthy? What’s that supposed to mean?” He was smiling as Bobby stood up and punched his shoulder.

“Idjit. It means that you look like you’re supposed to look. Not skin and bones. Happy.”

Dean kept grinning, “When did you turn sentimental, old man?”

“Got no idea.” Bobby huffed, “Get to workin’”

“Yessir.” He saluted Bobby before heading off into the garage.

It felt good to get a normal day of work done. He felt energized, he couldn’t remember the last time after a heat he rebounded so quickly. Dean had a whole plan on how he would show his appreciation to Cain and Colette—he talked it over with Missouri on a video chat therapy session at the end of his heat. He would make him dinner—his famous burgers. It was a bit nerve wracking for Dean, since it was how he had tried to entice Sam home on multiple occasions only to be let down. But he felt as confident as he could, given the situation, that Cain would not let him down.

Dean texted the both of them that he would take care of dinner that night. They all usually had dinner together around seven now that it was getting dark outside a bit early. It was usually a standing invitation, if you could make it home in time from work or other things. Both of them replied they would make it, Cain saying he might run a little late but would definitely be there by 7:15.

Since Dean had told both of his pack mates that being late made Dean worry they wouldn’t show up at all. Being honest if they were running late, and specific about the times were important. Colette, in particular, had a habit of never showing up on time. And while Dean understood on an intellectual level that her constantly being at least fifteen minutes behind was not meant to be interpreted as neglect, his instincts couldn’t help but shut down. He was embarrassed to tell her about it, but Colette had been mortified. She took it all in stride, now texting Dean if she would be even thirty seconds behind schedule. Sharing her location on Find My Friends also helped. Dean could tell when she was actually on her way, rather than “on her way”.

After work, Dean picked up all the necessary ingredients. They had a fryer in the kitchen, and Dean was going to use it. He picked up fixings for fries and onion rings—because he could. He was familiar enough with their spice cabinet to know what he didn’t have to grab.

He still couldn’t help but be a little bit nervous as he made dinner. He tried to just breathe through the anxiety that told him that Cain would not show up. That he would get a text saying he had something else to do.

Dean made a charcuterie board just like Colette had taught him. He just slid it over the counter when his phone vibrated. He bit his lip when he saw Cain’s name across his phone. His heart nearly stopped in his chest. Every instinct was telling him not to read the text because it was going to be something along the lines of 'sorry, can't make it'. His hand was shaking as he opened his phone. 

What type of beer do you want? At store now. Dean's eyes watered instantly. His heart was still racing, but the relief nearly made him want to vomit. Dean texted back his most recent local brew obsession, and Cain instantly sent him a picture back of it in his cart. Home in 10.

“Hello!” Colette called from the mud room, “It smells so good.” Colette walked into the room in her scrubs, “Are those onion rings!” She gasped. She launched herself onto Dean, rubbing her scent all over him, “I love you.” Dean flushed in embarrassment, but Colette didn’t let go.

“Just got to do the burgers, but I wanted to wait until you guys were nearly home since they cook quickly.” Dean said. They had one of the fancy ranges with the grill on them, so Dean plopped the three burgers on since he knew Cain would be home soon.

“Sounds perfect. Want me to open a bottle of wine?”

“Cain grabbed some beer.”

“I’ll grab some wine for myself then.”

“I’m home!” Cain called out, “It smells so good.” Cain echoed his mate from minutes earlier, “You’re using the fryer? How is it? I haven’t used it yet.”

“Best fryer I’ve ever used.” Dean said. Cain wrapped his arms around Dean, also rubbing his scent all over him.

Colette helped get all the condiments out on the table while Cain gave Dean a beer. Soon, they were all gathered around the table. It looked like Red Robbin with the tall stack of onion rings and the huge bowl of fries.

“Oh my God, Dean.” Colette groaned

“So good.” Cain was purring.

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean waved it off.

“I’m serious!” Colette argued with a laugh.

“I made them ‘cause—” The words caught in his throat, “Used to make them for Sam when something good happened. Then—I tried to use them to entice him t-to talk.” Dean frowned, “I just wanted to thank you both for everything.”

“You’re welcome Dean.” Colette said seriously, squeezing his arm, “You mean a lot to us and I am glad you joined our pack.”

“I’m glad too.” Dean said with a grin.

The rest of dinner was less serious. Dean laughed and carried on conversation like he wouldn’t have been able to dream of just a few months ago. His stutter still happened every once and awhile, but he had his voice back.

Cain managed to convince Dean back to their bed that night, a fresh bite on both Colette and Dean’s arm as they all fell asleep in the same bed.

Pack. As they should be. 

Chapter Text

Dean heard a loud bang in the garage. Hearing loud noises wasn’t exactly unheard of, but this was a weird sound.

“Everyone alright?” Dean called out.

“Ugh.” For Garth to give less than a chipper response was weird, so Dean was instantly on his feet. When he got to Garth’s station, he froze. Garth’s hand was covered in blood, “Got it caught as it fell.” He pointed do the passenger door that was on the ground.

Closer look showed Garth’s left hand was deeply sliced, “We need to go to the hospital.” Dean said decidedly.

“I can rub some dirt in it.”

“Usually I’d agree, but you don’t want a fucked-up hand dude.”

Garth nodded, so Dean helped him into the car. The hospital wasn’t too far away. Dean went ahead and texted Colette that Garth would be there. She was working that day, so she knew the wait time at the ER. Colette texted back quickly that they would be all ready for Garth when he came in.

Nearly as soon as Dean helped Garth into the entry way, there were people around him. Garth had gotten paler the closer they got, so Dean was very glad they made the decision to go to the hospital.

As soon as they took Garth back, Dean gave a call to his wife. She was fairly used to these types of calls, since Garth tended to be a clumsy person. She promised to meet Garth at the hospital, freeing Dean from driving him home.

“Dean?” Colette walked into the waiting room, “We’re going to give him some pain medication, but the hand might need surgery. We’re trying to make sure he didn’t slice a tendon.”

Dean nodded, “His wife is on her way, so she will be here in about five minutes.”

“You going to head back to the garage?”

“Yeah, but I was going to go see if I could grab Castiel for a second before I did. Is he working?”

“Yeah. He’s on the next floor up. His office is on the end. I don’t think he is in surgery, but he might be.”

“I’ll text him. Thanks Colette.”

“Of course, I’ll see you at home.” Colette ran off.

Dean took the stairs up to the next floor. Out a bit from Seattle, the hospital wasn’t too big. He walked down the hall and could smell Castiel’s scent lingering in the hallway.

“I am unsure why you refused to believe this patient for so long. She came in with abdominal pain and your repeated advice was for the patient to lose weight.” Castiel’s voice was calm, but it was lethal. The snowy scent was sharp.

“Her BMI—”

“The BMI doesn’t make any sort of sense to use on an individual level, and it was never intended to do so. Also, there are several other things that correlate more to health risks other than BMI. They are more accurate. Her cholesterol is within the normal range. This could have been diagnosed much earlier if you were not convinced the patient was lying to you. We still caught this early, but let this be a lesson for you to not dismiss larger patients.”

“Fine.” A doctor walked out of the open door, a scowl on his face. Dean was rethinking his idea to pop in on Castiel, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea.

“Dean!” Castiel was wearing scrubs with a scrub cap on as well. His office had one light off, the wall had back lit screens of different scans all over it. The table had papers stacked in neat piles, all color coded. His desk was just as neat.

“Hey Castiel.”

“Is everything alright?” Castiel frowned, like he just realized they were in the hospital.

“Yeah. I had to bring Garth in, sliced up his hand. I had to drop him off. I wanted to say hello since I’ve been out of touch the past week or so.”

“You’re ok then?” Castiel asked again.

 “Yeah. I couldn’t get on the phone before —just biology stuff.” Dean admitted, turning a bit red.

“Oh. I hope your first heat since Cain went alright, have you seen a gynecologist as a checkup?”

“Got it, Dr. Novak.” Dean said wryly.

Castiel took a breath, “I apologize if I came off condescending. Ana calls it my ‘doctor voice’” Castiel used his fingers as quotes. Dean snorted.  

“I have my appointment scheduled for tomorrow with a Doctor Billie?”

Castiel nodded, “She’s great—the best in my opinion.” Dean nodded, “Are you nervous?”

“Yeah. Missouri made the appointment for me. I just have to show up.”

“But your heat went alright?”

“More intense than what I remember—but I dunno if my diagnosis has impacted it.”

Castiel tilted his head, considering, “Continued stress and an unstable bond would lessen your heat’s intensity. Given that the alpha that raised you was also not supportive—you might have never experienced your heat as a fully mature omega. Many studies have been done that show hormone levels adjusting and suppressing depending on the strength of the bond.

“It doesn’t stop you from having them, however. Many patriarchal bull shit alphas point to those studies and say an omega could have shut down their estrus if they truly ‘didn’t want it.’ It’s all nonsense, obviously.”

“Obviously.” Dean responded with a smile. It was nice to talk about something that clearly the alpha was passionate about. Usually at the garage, he was always quiet. Staring at Dean as he explained how to do different things. Clearly, a few doctor questions had him rambling. While Dean usually found it uncomfortable to talk to people about it, Castiel's 'doctor voice' made it a bit better. Castiel’s cheeks flushed a bit, “Want to schedule a time to go over some car details? I’ve gotten parts in, but we’re getting to be at that time that we need to make some big decisions.”

“Yeah!” Castiel jumped up excitedly, “I got Thursday afternoon? Saturday?”

“Saturday works for me. Just come to the shop around 1.”

They exchanged the usual pleasantries before Dean went back to check on Garth. He was back to his usual optimistic self, though it definitely had to do with the pain meds he had been given. The good news was that the cut wasn’t too deep, bad news was that he still needed to be off it awhile. 

The next day, Dean was shaking a bit in the waiting room. It wasn’t a good idea to come by himself. He wasn’t sure he could go through with it. He got to the hospital again in sort of a daze. The doctors’ offices were in the same complex as the hospital, just on a different wing for non-emergencies. He was the only male in the waiting room, which always made him self-conscious. Might as well have a sign over his head saying male omega. He tugged his jacket tighter.

He thought about cancelling a million times that morning, but he didn't want to see Missouri's disappointed face. He thought he could do this. 

“Dean?” A nurse in the doorway called his name. He could still run for it, but for some reason his feet went in the direction of the nurse. They took his blood pressure, which was a little high. But he doesn’t admit to being nervous. They weighed him, recommending that he put on more weight. He frowned at that—he had already put on weight. He was proud of how much he had gained.

They put him in a room and told him to undress completely, then to put on a paper robe that ties in the front. There was a paper blanket to put around his legs when he sat on the chair. Dean was shaking a bit as he completely stripped, putting his briefs underneath his pants like it mattered at all to the doctor if his underwear was seen when she was looking all up in his bits.

Dean was still shaking as he sat in the chair. No, he was hyperventilating. He was trying to keep it under control, but his vision was starting to go in and out. This was dumb. He was fine. He should have called Cain to help him through this, but he was too embarrassed.

“Dean?” There was a knock on the door and he turned up. The curtain blocking the doorway pulled back.

“C-Cas?” Dean asked.

“Hey, you’re ok.” Castiel said immediately, his cool scent permeating the room. The door closed behind him as he stepped inside.

“I-I-I can’t d-do this.” Dean stated. His breathing was faster, he felt light headed. The room was spinning a bit and his body was tingling. He wanted to get away from this as fast as possible.

“I will be with you through every step of the way if you want me to—will that help?”

“Wh-what if she tells me I can’t have pups? What if she says I’m the worst omega she’s seen?” Dean was already shaking his head. He could already hear it. Already hear the conclusion he already knew that he was an awful omega, “N-no. I’m g-going.”

Cas took Dean’s hand strongly and moved close. Dean couldn’t help but inhale, it had a chilling effect on his whole system, letting him breathe in deep. Dean leaned closer, not quite burying himself in Cas’s shoulder even though he wanted to do it. Taking another deep breath, his heart rate started to fall.

“The percentage of omega’s with ARS that lose their fertility completely is less than 5%. The odds of that happening aren’t zero, but you have beaten worse odds.” Dean nodded, looking into Cas’s crystal blue eyes. He liked that Cas wasn’t lying to him, “And Billie would never tell any omega that they were the worst. Not unless they were actually an awful person—but you are not.” Dean nodded.

“They told me I needed to gain weight.”

Cas sighed, “I will talk to the nurse who weighed you. I don’t use weight as a factor without the patient history. You have gained weight at a healthy rate, you should be proud of your accomplishment.”

“I thought I was.” Dean said blearily, "They-they made me feel crazy." 

“I will still take you out of here if you want to try again another day," Cas offered a life boat but Dean was already shaking his head. If he left now, he would never manage to get back in the chair, "or I can stay here and hold your hand through it. Or, if you’re uncomfortable with me—"

“Don’t leave me.” Dean said before he could help it.

Castiel smiled, “Then I won’t go anywhere, ok?”

“Just—don’t—wonder down that direction.” Dean waved to his lower half.

Castiel laughed, which made Dean feel light again. His inner omega relaxed and wanted to purr, “I promise I will not. Is there anything in particular you need to ask Billie?”

“Can I have pups?”

“I got that one.” Castiel said back evenly.

“Birth control.” Dean turned bright red as he said it. Castiel squeezed his hand.

“Anything else?”

All the irrational questions that plagued Dean’s mind all last night, this morning, and in the waiting room suddenly vanished, “Don’t think so.”

“Just nudge me if you change your mind. Or if you’re more comfortable asking just Billie—” Dean was already shaking his head.

The knock on the door interrupted the conversation.

“Yeah.” Dean called back.

“Hello Dean—oh, hello Castiel.” Dean squeezed Castiel’s hand tightly, afraid that he was going to be told to leave.

“He’s a bit nervous.” Castiel told Billie, “I agreed to help.”

Billie nodded as she sat down in the doctor chair, “I am familiar with Dean’s history a bit. Missouri refers me patients frequently, and I had your previous medical history sent over. Long battle with Alpha Rejection Syndrome that started as a child. Looks like you finally have a good alpha that is helping you out. Your weight is at a much healthier level, and I’ll order some blood tests after today to look at hormone levels.” Billie was a beta, from her scent. There was something about her Dean liked, but he wasn’t sure why, “On the form you filled out, you said you had your heat last week?” Dean nodded, “This is a good time to have your blood taken then, how did it go?”

“Fine.” Dean managed to get out between grit teeth. He liked her, but he was still apprehensive. She wheeled closer to his legs which she placed in the stirrups one by one. The blanket still covered everything, and he was too far up on the chair but it still made his heart beat rise, so he squeezed Cas's hand tighter.

“He is a bit worried since it was more intense than what he remembers.” Castiel’s deep voice. Castiel remembered their conversation from earlier, it nearly made Dean want to pur.

Billie tilted her head a bit, “Given your history, that is not unusual, but I don’t want to dismiss it out of hand. I’ll sign to get your bloodwork done after your next three heats, that way we can see your hormone levels. If we see anything crazy, we will let you know. I am inclined to believe that you have never had a normal heat, so it might just be what you were always supposed to have as a healthy omega.” She took a breath, “And I appreciate you letting me know.”

“D-don’t want to b-be dramatic.” Dean murmured.

“I think you’re allowed to speak up for yourself and it not be dramatic.” Billie said sternly which made Dean smile a bit.

“He is also aware of the small percentage of people who suffer from ARS become infertile.”

Billie nodded, “It can happen, and if I see any of the signs of it I will let you know. That you already had a heat is a good sign—nearly all of the cases that are infertile stop having heats.” One of the knots in Dean’s stomach lessened, “The blood tests will reveal anything else that I don’t see. I know it’s easier said than done, but from your chart, I believe the only risks you have of infertility are the normal ones associated with anyone who has a uterus.” Dean nodded.

“Alright, then. Now for the fun part. Slide down to the end of the bench here, and we will take a peak under the hood.” Dean appreciated the car reference, but he tensed up as he squeezed Castiel’s hand tightly.

“Um, one more thing.” Castiel was tense, which made Dean tense. Cas also was blushing, which was weird, “Dean smells very anxious—and you’re doing an exam—so I apologize if I growl at you.”

Dean’s jaw dropped. Cas-Cas liked him. Like- liked liked-him. Alpha's did not growl at people they didn't feel protective over. Dean felt warm all over. He couldn't quite believe what he heard. Castiel squeezed his hand, and Dean realized he was purring, he slammed his free hand over his mouth, “Sorry.” Dean flushed bright red.

Billie’s snort got both of their attention, “Just make sure you keep the growling up there and we’ll be fine. Now, slide on down this chair so your butt hangs off.”

Dean slid down, his legs shifting in the stirrups a bit as he did. He tried not to think about how his legs were wide open, should he close them a bit more? That would probably be counterproductive.

“Even further.” She said. Was he going to fall off the end? Dean closed his eyes a bit as he moved closer, “There ya go. First I’m going to do a pelvis exam, so I’m going to basically feel around to make sure nothing is off.” She showed off her gloved hands before reaching down. As soon as she touched Dean’s thigh, he flinched. A deep growl from Castiel made Dean cover his eyes with his free hand.

“Sorry, sorry.” Dean let out.

“It’s alright.” Billie said calmly.

“Sorry.” Castiel added.

“You’re not the first, or the last alpha to growl at me today.” She said with a smile, “Ok, take a deep breath for me—there we go. We’re going to try again.” The gloved hand moved closer again, feeling along the pelvic bone. Dean was tense, but she moved quickly, “That was great, Dean. Now we’re going to insert the speculum in to get a look inside.”

“Yeah.” Dean’s voice was strained, and the low grumble from Cas was not going away. The metal was cold, and he yelped a bit. Another loud growl from Cas nearly had Dean covering his ears, “Just cold—sorry.” Dean managed to say, patting Castiel’s hand. Trying to comfort the alpha was at least distracting him, which was good. 

“I’m used to him growling at me in the hallways, so this is normal for me. Try not to tense up—I know it’s nearly impossible not to. But it is easier.” Billie said with a laugh in her voice, Dean could tell she was smiling even though he couldn’t see her. The speculum went in and Dean tensed a bit. Cas’s low grumble didn’t increase this time, but it stayed a solid presence in his ear, “Alrighty, you’re doing great Dean. I just need to get a look, and a sample—then we’ll be done with the fun part.”

“Fun?”

“My idea of fun is usually different than other people’s. It’s why I like my job.” She said, “Everything here looks nice—your cervix looks healthy. Do we need to do an STI test while I’m swabbing?”

Dean shook his head, “Not been sexually active since last test.”

“Alright, then I won’t use that one.” She grabbed a stick off a tray, “This may pinch a bit.” Dean tensed before he could help it. The swab went in and he felt it, “Alright, all done with this part.”

“Thank God.” Dean huffed, making Billie laugh.

She tapped his foot, “You can pull them out of the stirrups now. And if you don’t mind, I will ask alpha to leave for a minute or two while I ask some questions without him here—then I’ll bring him back in.”

Dean’s hand was sweaty from how long he had been holding Castiel’s hand. It was also stiff from gripping so hard. Dean slowly let go, looking over to Castiel’s bright blue eyes.

“I’ll be right back.” He promised.

“You can’t stay?”

“No. They’re just making sure you’re not being abused and you’re answering truthfully.”

“Wish someone did that while I was being abused.” Dean huffed. Castiel smiled, placing a kiss on top of Dean’s head. Dean flushed pink, his entire body warming up again as Castiel walked out of the room.

“I’m going to check your breast tissue, alright?” Billie moved up to Dean’s torso, “And he is right—I just want to make sure you’re doing ok at home. No one pressuring you? No one, including handsome doctors.”

“Nah, Cas is great. Cain’s my alpha—he is probably going to be devastated that I tried to do this alone. My last heat, I recovered the best—probably ever. He embarrassed the shit outta me, but I think that’s usual Dad joke behavior.”

“Cain—as in Cain Knight?” Billie asked, massaging Dean’s breasts a bit, “Shit dude.”

“I know—I just fixed up his and his mate’s cars and I landed in their pack.”

“Colette is smart, I don’t work with her much, but when I have— she is on it.”

Dean preened a bit at the praise of his pack, “She’s a bad ass bitch.” Billie moved to the other side.

“Alright if I bring your alpha back in for the end bit? You can go ahead and sit up. Just a few more questions.”

“Oh—he’s not—yeah, I mean—sure.” Dean flushed red as Billie walked to the door.

“Castiel?” Billie called out. Dean heard him answer as he walked back into the room, “First question is birth control.”

Dean turned bright red, “Yeah.”

“We got a few different kinds—do you have a preference?”

“Um—considering my diagnosis, is there one I should pick?” Dean asked.

“IUD will have the least impact on your hormones, since it is already of some concern for you. It is also the easiest, as you won’t have to do anything for three to ten years depending on which one you choose. Considering your age and you marked on your form that you do want pups at some point, I would recommend the five year one.”

“Nuva Ring has a few wonky side effects for some male omegas.” Castiel said, “In my opinion, they need to tweak the formula for them. There are a wide variety of pills as well. IUD is more invasive in the beginning, but ends up with less impacts usually overall.”

“I agree with his assessment.” Billie said.

“Um—how does the IUD effect my heat?”

“Minimally. You still go into one—it doesn’t suppress your heats at all. If you want a suppressant, I will offer them under extreme caution. With ARS, I usually recommend a few years of heats before trying medication.”

Dean shook his head, “I just—didn’t know if an IUD effected heats or not.”

“IUD has some reports of effects on heats, but they are minimal compare to others. Birth control pills have varying effects on heat. Some report complete dry up of slick, other’s report too much. IUD has those reports as well, but farther between and a lesser degree. Then, of course, the usuals of weight gain, mood swings, rare blood clots—

“You sound like a TV commercial.” Dean interrupted

Billie laughed, “Birth control has a lot of side effects. I know it is rather normal to accept them, but I would rather my patients know the facts.”

“Which one do you recommend considering—” He waved to himself.

“I recommend the IUD. As Castiel said, invasive at first because we have to insert it at the office. I dilate you a bit then insert it—we watch it all through an ultrasound.”

“Cas?” Dean asked.

“I will hold your hand through that as well, if you'd like. But I also recommend the IUD.”

Dean nodded, “Ok. That’s what I’ll do then.”

“I’ll write a report here, you will schedule it on your way out as well as your blood tests. Do you have any other questions for me?”

Dean shook his head, “Don’t think so.”

“Alright, then I’ll see you soon, ok?” She winked at him before walking out.

It was silent when she left, Dean looked over at Cas, “Oh, I’ll step over here so you can change.” Castiel stepped between the curtain and the door as Dean hopped off the chair. Dean was sure Cas couldn’t see through, so he threw his briefs on quickly, “I feel like I should apologize for my behavior. I should have warned you in advance that I would growl. I hoped it wouldn’t happen, but that was probably very naïve on my part.” The paper robe crinkled as he pulled it off, moving to his jeans and Henley, “I cannot help but feel very protective over you.” He huffed, taking a deep breath, “I—I like you. I don’t know if you know that. Ana seemed to think that you didn’t, but I was certain you did.” Dean couldn’t get on his clothes fast enough. He yanked his shirt over his head.

“Ana made me promise to tell you that I like you to avoid miscommunication. It was obvious by me growling at Billie, who I know is a good doctor. But instincts are sometimes dumb that way—” Dean pushed back the curtain and pressed a kiss on Castiel’s lips before he could ramble on any longer.

“I like you too.” Dean said. Castiel’s hair was a bit all over the place from running his fingers through it during his rambling.

“Oh.” Castiel was pink.

“And I didn’t know that you liked me.”

“Then I am glad I told you.” Cas said with a small smile.

“Wanna go on a date with me on Friday?”

“I was going to ask you.” Cas frowned a bit, looking a bit put out.

“Asked you first.” Dean said with a snort, moving back to slip on his work boots.

Castiel’s grin took Dean’s breath away, “Ok. But I want a cheeseburger.”

“Be still my heart.” Dean had to kiss him again. For being a bit shorter, Castiel sure did know how to dominate a kiss. Dean couldn’t help but wind one hand into his thick hair that had been begging to be touched. A strong arm pulled him closer before the kiss broke off entirely. Dean couldn’t help but grin, the snow blizzard scent had increased as well as the pine. Dean breathed it in deeply, not quite scenting him but definitely flirting with the line.

“Cheeseburgers on Friday? At 7?” Castiel asked.

“Y-yes” Dean acquiesced, making Castiel chuckle.

“Would you like me to accompany you to get your blood work done today?” Cas asked, as he took Dean’s hand in his own.

“I am a big boy when it comes to blood, but if you want to hold my hand during it—I won’t object too loudly.”

“I could take your blood.”

“Now we’re talkin’” Dean said with a waggle of his brows and Cas snorted. He felt a bit high as they walked out to the front desk, picking an appointment time that would work for both of them for his IUD. Cas didn’t let go of his hand the entire time.

When they got to the room where they would take Dean’s blood, Cas shooed the nurse away so he could do it himself.

“I heard nurses were better at this anyway.” Dean told him.

“I don’t want to growl at anyone else.” Castiel said, tying off his arm with a rubber band. Cas moved his head a bit, “I don’t want to growl at anyone else because of you today.” Dean snorted.

“Stick your needle in me, Doc.” Dean waggled his brows.

“There will be no more puns. I live with Gabriel, work is my only reprieve.”

Dean laughed loudly, “That is fair enough.” Cas was staring at him, his blue eyes sparkling. The needle was nearly painless, and he quickly filled up a few vials for testing. He bandaged it up after, placing the band-aid on carefully.

“Feeling woozy?” Castiel asked.

“Nope, ready to go back to work.” Dean said with a grin, “Got a pick-up I need to work on. Bitch of a customer.” Castiel frowned, “I’m teasing Cas.” The scowl flipped immediately to a wide grin.

Dean hopped onto his feet, “So I will see you Friday?” Castiel asked.

Dean nodded, “Then Saturday for you truck.”

Cas hummed his affirmation before placing another careful kiss on his lips. Dean’s entire body tingled, “See you Friday.” Dean was still smiling when he walked out of the hospital.

Dean barely got to his car before his phone vibrated.

You’re dating CASTIEL?! Colette texted in a group text with him and Cain.

No. Was Cain’s swift answer. I would if he’d let me. Multiple blue hearts followed it.

Cain. Colette sent a frowny face as well.

You’d leave me for those baby blues as well.

Don’t be ridiculous, we can share.

This is why I mated you. So smart. Love you so much.

Neither one of you can date him. Dean added to the group text. I got a date with him on Friday.

HOLY SHIRT! Colette Sent.

Shit* Came the quick correction.

Calm down Kristen Bell. Dean sent back.

Holy Forking Shirt Balls! Colette sent with a laughing emoji.

Do I need to threaten him? Cain asked.

No need. I can do it right now. Colette answered.

How do you already know? Dean asked, trying to change their track.

I heard that someone ‘tall Dark and Handsome’ was with Castiel, kissed him in the hallway and everything. Mr. Dreamy was wearing a black Henley and work boots. Which I remembered you were in this morning.

Ok Detective Colette. Creepy. Cain sent. Followed quickly by Why were you at the hospital?

Gyn apt. Dean texted back.

You ok? Cain asked.

Took blood work, but everything looks normal.

Proud of you for going! Colette sent. Celebrate tonight?

Taco place? Dean asked.

YES! I need margs.

Dean definitely went back to work with a pep in his step.

Chapter Text

Dean stared at his closet. Castiel made reservations at one of his favorite places. Dean hadn’t been before, but he was finding that he hadn’t been to most restaurants in town. He hadn’t realized how much he avoided going until he didn’t anymore.

“Colette!” Dean called.

“Yeah?” She popped her head into the room.

“I don’t know what to wear.” He waved his hand at his closet.

She grinned, “Well, it’s starting to get a bit cold out. Let’s go with—hm—where is your— this!” She pulled out a wheat colored flannel. She pulled through his jeans, grabbing a light pair that wasn’t covered in engine oil, “T-shirts?” She asked.

“That drawer.” He pointed. She opened it and quickly grabbed a green t-shirt. She moved back to his closet and took his nice tan boots out.

“Keep it unbuttoned at first, let me see it.” She stared at him.

“Don’t look when I change.” He said with a blush. She rolled her eyes, turning around. He stepped out of his sleep pants, pulling on the jeans, “Ok, got my pants on.”

“You are the most self-conscious person I know.”

“Most of your friends are also in health care. I think it gets beaten out of you in school. Plus, I don’t need to make your mate jealous.”

Colette snorted as she turned back around, “You’re right, let’s protect Cain’s dignity.”

“From what?” Cain poked his head into Dean’s room.

“Making sure you’re not jealous of me.”

“You look like a movie star, of course I’m jealous.” Cain kissed his temple, making Dean flush.

“Now you just text us about cake, and we’ll know it’s an SOS to come get you. I got you on find my friends, we will come get you no questions asked.” Colette said seriously, “Or I’ll call and fake some sort of emergency.”

“And text if you stay the night at his place.” Cain added, his chest starting to puff out like the protective alpha he was.

“Not going to do that.” Dean told him, “Missouri said home territory at first. Better for—” Dean dragged off and waved to his entire self.

“Good.” Colette said, “I’m glad you talked it over with her too.”

“I barely pee without Missouri’s coaching.” Dean swore as he walked toward the garage to get his car.

Cain snorted, “One more thing before you go.” Dean stopped and turned around. Cain was all over him, hugging him tight and marking him with his scent. He rubbed his head with his chin, licked under both ears.

“Alright! Alright.” Dean said with a laugh, pushing the alpha away.

“You’re mine. Don’t let that alpha get any ideas.”

“I won’t Cain.” Dean promised.

Dean hopped into the car and tried to remember the last relationship he had. Lisa—she was a beta. They met in high school when he first moved in with Bobby and dated off and on for a while. They drifted apart before Sam ran off. It was a safe relationship for him. She hadn’t demanded too much out of him, and he hadn’t had to give too much.

There had been other women and men in between. But no alphas. Dean wondered if Cas had slept with an omega. Probably. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t know Castiel’s exact age, but he was a bit older than Dean. Not that Dean minded, but now he was curious. Or anxious. Probably both.

Dean took a deep breath in the parking lot. He was sweating because of anxiety, so he pulled off his flannel. It was one of those unseasonably warm fall days anyway, so he was pretty sure he didn’t need it.

Here. Text from Castiel pinged up on his phone. Dean took another deep breath, opening his car door and getting out.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel called out, walking up from the back of the parking lot. He looked delectable in his dark jeans and fluffy zip up. Dean wanted to curl up into him. Cas stepped right up into Dean’s space, placing a kiss on his lips. All the nerves went out the window, and Dean could feel his shoulders relax.

“Hey Cas.” Dean replied.

“Did Cain pee on you before you left?” Castiel asked scrunching his nose a bit. Dean laughed, taking Castiel’s offered hand as they walked up to the front door.

“He did everything but.”

“He’s not worried about me—is he?” Cas asked.

“Nah, he’s a possessive bastard now that I got his mark. But I don’t mind it.” Dean said with a smile.

A server took them back to their table. It was a casual place, but had a lot of character. It was clear by their menu that they were known for their beef, which pleased Dean.

“Anything to drink, gentleman?”

“Old Fashion sounds great.” Castiel said.

“Pilsner.” Dean followed. She nodded, leaving them alone.

“Where are you originally from? Your accent is a bit too southern for Seattle.” Castiel said.

Dean smiled, “Kansas for most of it—never really got out of the twang. But I moved here when I was seventeen. Now I’ve been here ten years, so it’s mellowed a bit.”

“Where besides Kansas and here?”

“Dad moved us all over the place after my mom died. Then we were back in Kansas once Sammy hit grade school. Are you from here?” Dean was an expert on deflecting off of his own home situation. He wanted Cas to know, but didn't want to have the entire dinner conversation taken up with his early child hood. 

“My parents live in Massachusetts, it’s where we grew up. Angel Corporation was started by my father and mother. They now take a more behind the scenes roll.”

“Was it like Game of Thrones to see who would take over?” Dean asked, his voice teasing. Cas shifted a bit, and Dean’s heart dropped, “Shit, dude. I was kidding—”

“Your description isn’t entirely inaccurate.”

“When did you—break free?” Dean asked.

“After my tour in Afghanistan. I came back extremely—lost. I was suffering from PTSD. My mother blamed me. My brothers Nick and Michael thought I was a loose end. I hit an extremely low point, wondering the point of any of it. My therapist pointed out that all I could do was go up, if I was willing to try. So I booked a trip to visit Gabriel, just to see what life was like on the ‘other side’. Never went back.”

Dean nodded, “You still talk to them.” He remembered Castiel’s stormy mood after a conversation with them before he got to the garage.

Castiel nodded, “Sometimes it cannot be avoided. But I maintain strong boundaries when I can. Agreeing to talk for ten minutes, unless something on my ‘no fly’ list is brought up.”

“What’s that?”

“A list of topics I told them I was unwilling to discuss or I would hang up.”

“Missouri would love you, she is always talking about my need for boundaries.”

Cas chuckled, “Took me a long time and therapy to get it right—and I still get it wrong.” The waitress dropped the drinks off at the table and Dean stared a bit enviously at Castiel’s drink, “Want a sip?”

“Yeah.” Dean took one, savoring the bitter taste.

“Still cautious with liquor?” Cas asked.

“Yeah.” Dean was grateful Cas knew, it was less embarrassing to explain his ARS symptoms to a doctor. One who didn’t belittle him or accuse him of making it up, “Is there any topic you don’t want to discuss with me?” Dean asked before he could think better of it.

“No.” Cas’s immediate response, “I mean, maybe not all of them here. But I can be quiet, and I’d rather you ask questions so I can try to open up more.”

Dean grinned, “Same. Not sure if this is the blind leading the blind or not.”

Castiel laughed, making Dean feel warm all over. He reached out, squeezing Dean’s hand, nearly making Dean forget how to breathe, “We can always talk about cars, I think that works.”

Dean couldn’t help but launch into updates about Castiel’s pick-up. Everything was coming along beautifully. He worked on more without Cas, which disappointed him but he understood. Some of it was work Dean really couldn’t delegate to someone who didn’t know what they were doing.

Cas never once tried to cut Dean off, listening until he made sure Dean was finished before responding. He asked questions. Dean couldn’t help but respond in kind. He learned all about how Castiel and Ana were taste testers for anything Gabriel put in his shop. He learned how they all had strange living habits, but Castiel wouldn’t change living all together for anything.

“It’s the nest we never got growing up.” Castiel said with a shrug, “Home was a sterile place—nothing out of line. Everything was marble. Cold. Now we’re lucky if it’s clean since Gabriel is always making something, Ana has clothes all over the place—but it’s perfect.” He glowed when he talked about his pack.

At one point while they were eating, Cas’s leg pressed up against Dean’s. It was an accident, but he didn’t move it. Once Cas got warmed up a bit, he did love to chatter. When Dean offered him the pickle on the plate, Cas gratefully took it and offered a few fries. The burgers were fantastic, though Dean still ranked the Roadhouse as number one. But this place had some sort of dipping burger sauce that was to die for.

“I want to bathe in this.” Dean said with a groan.

“That sounds a bit gross.” Cas said flatly, which made Dean laugh as he took another bite. Dean never had a date go so well. Someone he felt so comfortable with.

“I gotta pee—the bathroom?” Dean asked.

“Back through that way. It’s non-gendered individual stalls.”

“Awesome.” Dean loved places that had those. It was always a bit of a tossup if a male alpha thought he could push over Dean, “How’d you know?” Dean looked at Cas.

“Gabriel likes to get in fights in the men’s room.” Cas said with a smile, "Ana prefers the non-gendered bathrooms too. So now I always check."

“I don’t like getting in fights—but I can end them.” Dean smirked.

“I am sure you can.” Cas said gravely, kissing him easily on the lips.

“What was that for?” Dean asked.

“You taste like the burger sauce.” Dean laughed loudly before going to the restroom. He was back quickly and Cas already had the dessert menu.

He loved a man who loved a dessert menu.

“Oreo pie? Or apple?” Castiel asked as he sat down.

“You get one and I’ll get the other?” Dean said.

“Perfect.”

“Doubt it will be as good as Benny’s apple pie.” Dean said with a wistful sigh.

“Or Gabriel’s.” Cas added, “Have you been to Benny’s restaurant?”

“I haven’t. Need to though.”

“We can go there next time.”

“You sure there’s going to be a next time?” Dean asked with a smile.

“I’m liking my chances.” Castiel said, holding out a spoonful of pie for Dean to eat. He took it gratefully, humming a bit as he did.

The pie wasn’t as good as Benny’s or Gabriel’s, but it was definitely delicious. Cas insisted on settling the bill, and was also sneaky about paying. Dean would have to remember that for next time.

As soon as he walked outside, he shivered. The temperature dropped after the sunset. He wrapped his arms around himself, wishing he left his flannel on from earlier.

“You’re cold?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah.” Dean grinned, but Cas frowned. In a second, he pulled off his zip up. He pushed it over Dean’s head despite protests. It felt warm even though it smelled like pine and snow, “Now you’re cold.”

Cas stepped into Dean’s personal space, wrapping his arms around him, “Not anymore.”

The kiss that followed halted any of Dean’s thoughts. Cas’s arms wrapped around his back and pulled Dean to him. Dean’s knees felt weak. The smell of pine nearly overwhelmed him, like he was diving head first into a Christmas tree. It was fantastic. Dean couldn’t get enough. His entire body felt warmer though it had nothing to do with the sweater. Feeling Castiel’s body pressed against his was doing wonders. 

And Cas tasted so good. Dean couldn't help but wind some of his fingers through Castiel's hair, whimpering a bit. His entire body felt like it was singing in anticipation. 

“At the risk of being forward, would you like to go back to mine for a night cap?” Castiel's voice sounded wrecked. It made the heat in Dean's stomach burn a bit brighter. 

Dean wanted to say yes. But knew it would throw him off. He and Missouri had a plan that he needed to stick to, “Um—can we go to mine? I know it’s alpha stuff to be in your own territory, but I’m still a little wonky.”

“You’re not wonky.” Castiel pressed another kiss to his lips. Dean couldn’t help but try to keep the kiss going, “I’d love to join you in your nest.”

Dean could actually feel his brain fry up. It was like a short circuit overloaded and his brain lit up like a Christmas tree before completely shutting down. He couldn’t breathe.

“You alright?”

“Um—I don’t know.” Dean answered, “I think you broke me.”

Castiel’s chuckle was low, pulling on instincts deep in Dean’s gut that made his stomach flip over. Cas placed a chaste kiss on Dean’s lips, bringing him back to the present moment.

“I’ll follow you?” Castiel asked against Dean’s lips.

“Ok. Once my brain turns back on.” Dean confessed. Castiel laughed again, stepping back. Dean felt cold.

He slid into his car, feeling more like himself as he turned it on. Castiel had his own car that he flashed his lights in before following Dean. Dean couldn’t quite believe this was happening. Now in the silence of his own car, he was wondering if he made the right decision. What did Castiel expect? He probably should have clarified expectations before going back to the house.

The fifteen-minute drive felt like it took forever. He got back to Cain’s place feeling a bit anxious as he hopped out of the car. He watched Castiel park, pulling on his sleeve nervously. Castiel grabbed Dean’s hand, squeezing it.

“I can go home.” He said softly.

“Still want a second date?” Dean asked, trying to sound light but it came out dreadfully self-conscious.

“Hm.” Castiel hummed his affirmative, “And a few more after that.”

Dean smiled tightly, “Just not sure if I’m ready for the whole enchilada in bed yet.” He managed to say. His face flushed afterword. He really was a horrible omega. Shouldn’t he be begging for this?

“Dean, I do not want to demand anything of you that you are not willing to do. My expectations of this evening are to be close to you. That’s it. And even then, if you ask me to leave I will do it without resentment. Only anticipation of your next date.”

Dean flushed, smiling, “You sound like a novel.”

Cas smiled back, “Are there any other fears you want to say out loud?”

“I’ve never been with an alpha before—dating or otherwise.” Dean admitted.

“You’ve been with others?”

“Yes. Men and women. Not really picky on gender, or subgender. Missouri says people who have gone through my situation are either extremely wary of alphas or in constant need of their approval so date them all the time. I avoided alphas completely. I could barely speak around them anyway.”

“You’ve come a long way.” Castiel said encouragingly.

“Despite panicking at GYN offices, stuttering, and still freaking out if too many alphas are in a room.” Dean countered.

“My point still stands. You have come a long way. You are extremely brave.”

Dean scoffed, looking down, “Not brave.”

“Most people who are don’t feel it.” Castiel said. Well, that deserved a kiss. Dean pulled Castiel close to him, winding his arm around him, “I also am not picky on gender, or subgender.” Castiel confessed, breaking off the kiss. Dean couldn't help but let out a small whimper when the alpha pulled away. Cas smiled into the next kiss. Dean felt warm from his toes to the top of his head as Castiel pulled him tight. He could feel where every inch of his body was pressed against Cas’s. One of Castiel’s hands wrapped around the back of his neck and he wanted to go weak at the sensation.

“Would you like to go back to your nest. No penetration, but I would like to see your face when you come. Then we can go to bed?” Castiel asked. Dean's stomach flipped in the most delectable way. His cock, which Dean had been trying not to think about, instantly got on board.

“Let’s do that.” Dean groaned. He didn’t completely give into the instinct to drag the alpha back to his nest, but he nearly did. He certainly had a tight grip on Cas’s hand as they walked into the house.

“What time is it?” Castiel asked, the house was completely dark.

“Nearly midnight.” Dean glanced at the clock on the oven.

“I expected Cain to be waiting up for you.”

Dean snorted, “I bet Colette convinced him out of it.” Dean pushed open the door of his own room, a little nervous. Castiel walked past him into the room. It was weird to see the alpha there, but it made Dean’s inner omega positively melt.

“Dean, this room is fantastic.” Dean might actually fall to his knees. His entire body rippled with pleasure, “The photos are brilliant. Your work is phenomenal, not that I’m surprised. And your nest looks so comfortable—” Dean covered Castiel’s mouth with his hand. His entire body was pulsating and he wasn’t sure he could take it anymore. Instead of answering the obvious question on Castiel’s mind, Dean kissed him.

Dean didn’t know it was possible to get turned on so quickly. Having Castiel in his nest was doing crazy things to his body. He felt like he was in over drive.

“Lay back.” Castiel said. It was firm, but not demanding. Dean sat on his bed, flipping his boots off before sliding back on the bed. As soon as he laid down, his inner omega purred at following orders. Listening to the alpha was hitting every sort of button that Dean didn’t know he had. Castiel crawled on top of him, placing a kiss on his lips. Having Castiel over him was every wet dream come true. He sat back on Dean, grinding into his lap, “Can I take off the sweater?”

“Yes.” Dean answered, feeling a bit dazed. Castiel pulled off the three-quarter zip he had put on Dean. Dean’s body was humming with anticipation as he pulled his own shirt off, tossing it to the side, “Yours?”

“Take it off me.” Castiel said. Dean’s fingers curled underneath his long sleeve, pulling it off quickly. Dean hummed in pleasure at the feeling of following another order from the alpha, “Beautiful.” Castiel hummed, pressing his palm to Dean’s cheek. Dean’s breath hitched, getting lost in the crystal blue eyes. The next kiss took Dean’s breath away. He was drowning in Cas’s scent, now taking on much more of a crisp snowy smell. Dean pulled Cas tight against him. Cas dipped beneath Dean’s t-shirt, wrapping up his back. In a second, it was up over his head breaking the kiss for only a moment.

Cas pushed Dean back on the bead. There was the clunking sound of boots hitting the ground before he crawled on top of him. Cas dragged his hips against Dean.

“F-f-fuck.” Dean growled.

“Can you be still while I—explore— a bit?” Cas asked, his deep voice had to have dropped another octave. It husked in his ear, making Dean’s entire body shiver. He nodded a bit frantically. He wanted Cas’s hands all over him.

Cas pressed a kiss to his shoulder blade. Dean couldn’t help but tilt his jaw up, whining a bit, “I got you Dean.” Cas promised, kissing down his shoulder to his bicep.

Dean was purring loudly. He didn’t even know it could get that loud. But Castiel’s gentle kisses and wandering hands were causing his brain to melt. Cas was straddling Dean’s hips, still in his jeans. It was more than obvious that Cas was enjoying it, his cock pressed against Dean’s hip as he moved around Dean’s body. He would grind it into Dean’s cock every once and awhile, drawing out a whimper of need every time.

Cas changed between the lightest of kisses, to sometimes a light nip. Dean didn’t think he could get any harder. His cock was rubbing against his jeans, begging to be touched. He knew he was leaking all over the place.

“Please Cas” Dean cried out when he nipped at a sensitive spot on Dean’s rib.

“Look at me.” The order made Dean immediately respond. He found the alpha’s blue eyes, feeling dazed, “What would you like?”

“J-jeans.” Dean begged.

“Mine or yours?” He asked. Dean couldn’t breathe, “I got you, Dean. You’re ok.” Cas’s gentle reminder took the raw edge away from his desire. Cas was lying on top of him, his bare chest pressed against Dean’s. His hair was already all over the place.

“Y-yes.” Dean answered.

“Yes to jeans?”

“Yes to both jeans.” Dean clarified. Cas hopped up, pulling off his own jeans to reveal boxers with bananas all over them. Dean raised a brow, sitting up.

“Gabriel replaced all my boxers with these when he found out I was going on a date with you tonight.” Cas explained and Dean burst out laughing, “I have about twenty pairs now if you’d like one. Or three.” Cas offered with a bright smile.

Dean snorted, “Yes, I’d love a set of banana boxers.” Cas laughed into Dean’s mouth, kissing him again. His hands went to Dean’s jean button. He popped them open, pulling down only Dean’s jeans as he did. Dean’s breath hitched when he pulled them away, he looked at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure if Cas would approve of an omega like him and—

“Dean.” The deep and calming voice pulled him, “Look at me, Dean.” It was a soft order, but Dean did as Castiel asked. Cas pressed a gentle kiss to his knee, then the other, “Beautiful.”

Dean meant to snort, but it came out a bit choked. Castiel crawled back on top of him. He pressed one careful kiss to his jaw line, then another on his lips. He gently moved Dean’s hands to the headboard.

“Keep your hands here.” Castiel ordered, “I am going to remove your boxers, blow you and use my hands. Okay?” Dean nodded, his cock twitching in anticipation.

Dean felt like he was in a daze as Cas moved slowly down Dean’s body. He kissed down his sternum, hooking his fingers on Dean’s boxer briefs and tossing them to the floor. Dean didn’t have a moment to be self-conscious before Cas swallowed him.

It was too much.

Dean arched his hips, nearly splitting apart at the seams. Cas chuckled, pulling off a bit, licking him from base to tip. His right hand moved up Dean’s inner thigh, closer to where he ached.

“Alpha.” Dean moaned, which must have encouraged Castiel to move faster because suddenly a finger was inside him. He whined, grinding down and wanting more. His instincts were in overdrive, everything smelled so wonderful. In some distant part of his brain, he was very glad he had negotiated what was going to happen before they got in bed. There was no way he wouldn’t be begging to be fucked right now if they hadn’t already agreed to not having sex.

The alpha just smelled so perfect. He wanted more. He wanted everything.

At least he could ask for more.

The squelching noise coming from Dean was pornographic. He was so wet it reminded him of his heat. Castiel’s fingers were pressing up on that spot inside of him that made him see stars.

Dean pressed up into the headboard, his breath getting shorter.

“Doing so well for me Dean.” Castiel cooed quietly, making Dean whine again. He wanted to be good. He wanted it desperately, “That’s it. Tell me what you want.”

“More.” Dean groaned.

Dean wasn’t sure when Castiel had taken off his boxers, but he was naked. He flipped one of Dean’s legs over his shoulder, moving closer to Dean. Dean tensed, not sure if he was about to blurt out fuck me or get away.

“Not fucking you. I promised.” Castiel said. Dean was mostly relieved, though some hindbrain part of him was disappointed. That part could stay away for now.

Castiel pushed three fingers inside of him. Combined with the new angle, Dean couldn’t breathe.

“That’s it, omega.” Castiel encouraged. Dean latched onto the blue of his eyes. The steady movement driving him closer to the edge. Cas’s dick was rubbing up against the leg over his shoulder. The knot on the base was begging to be touched. Dean couldn’t believe the pleasure shooting through his body. It twisted low in his gut, but it sparked all the way up his spine. He tossed his head back, grinding more on Castiel’s fingers, “Look at me.” Castiel ordered. Dean blinked frantically, staring at the alpha. His left hand snaked around Dean’s leg, gripping Dean’s cock.

The moan that ripped out of Dean was sinful. His toes curled.

“Come for me omega.” Castiel’s deep voice purred deep in Dean’s soul. It was seconds later he was shooting all over himself, twisting in pleasure. Castiel kept pumping him while he came, his fingers deep inside Dean. Dean had to bite his tongue to keep from begging for Castiel’s knot. He whined when Castiel’s fingers left him, wanting to be closer but not sure how to ask for it.

“Can I mark you, Dean?” Alpha asked. Dean nodded frantically.

“Please alpha.” Words were pouring out of Dean’s mouth as he watched the alpha stroke himself over top of him. Castiel straddled Dean’s hips, rubbing against Dean’s already spent and sensitive cock, “Need your scent, alpha.”

That must have done it for Cas.  His come mixed with Dean’s all over his stomach.

Dean felt like he was floating. The world was fuzzy.

“So good Dean.” He heard. Alpha was pressing kisses to his jaw, his lips. Dean could hear whispers of perfect and beautiful. But he couldn’t really grasp anything else. He wanted to burry himself in his scent. He didn’t want to smell anything else. Alpha was moving his hands gently, moving him around a bit but Dean could hardly care. Alpha pulled him close, pressing every inch of his naked skin against Dean’s. It was wonderful.

“You’re safe, omega.” Dean heard over and over again.

Dean pressed closer, curling up as tightly as he could. Alpha kept muttering in his ear, combing his fingers through his hair as Dean fell asleep.

Dean woke with a start, his heart pounding in his chest. He was on the edge of a panic attack, and he wasn’t sure why. A glance at his phone showed it was close to three in the morning.

Flashbacks started immediately.

“You with me Dean?” Castiel asked, brushing back his hair, but Dean wouldn’t stop purring, “You’re safe, Dean.” Castiel whispered to him, pressing kisses to his jaw. Castiel must have cleaned him off too, because he wasn’t nearly as sticky as what he should be. Dean glanced over at the alpha, curled up in his nest. His black hair was fluffed up and all over the pillow, his brow furrowed slightly even in sleep.

Dean was horrified. He couldn’t believe he had been so clingy.

He knew omegaspace or subspace was something that happened, but he had never had something like that happen to him. He went completely catatonic. It was embarrassing. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think with the alpha smelling so wonderful in his nest. Dean slipped out of bed, trying to breathe deep. He grabbed clothes from on the floor, moving quickly out of the room.

He didn’t realize how sharply he was breathing until the cool air outside hit him, hurting a bit with every inhale. Dean gripped the railing, trying to even out his breathing. He used the tricks that Missouri taught him. He pressed a hand to his chest.

His feet were freezing, but the chill helped him think a bit. He would have to apologize to Castiel. He wouldn’t date again, this was horrible. He kept replaying the snippets in his mind over and over again. He had purred so loudly. He rubbed his face, wishing he could turn back the clock a few hours. This was exactly why he shouldn’t have tried dating anyone. Why he had avoided it for years.

“Dean?” He winced at the sound of Castiel’s voice, “Why are you out here? The nest is cold.” The alpha sounded grumpy, if half-asleep. He stepped out on the porch, hissing at the chill.

“Sorry. You can go to bed.” Dean said quickly, refusing to look at him too long.

“You smell distressed.” Castiel said, his eyes sharpening quickly, touching Dean’s arm, “Oh—you’re dropping.”

“D-dropping?” Dean asked, then shook his head, “I’m fine.”

“Dean, why are you out of your nest at 3AM?” Castiel asked.

“I—I can’t believe I did that. I am so sorry. I was totally out of it.”

“You were, but that’s ok. I enjoyed it very much, and I thought you did as well.” Cas looked worried.

“I did.” Dean groaned, “Too much. That was—I was spaced, dude.”

“You were.” Castiel said, wrapping his arms around Dean, “It was very hot, in my opinion.” Dean flushed bright red.

“You d-don’t have to say that.”

“I don’t.” Castiel agreed, “But it is true.”

“I’ve never zoned like that before.” Dean admitted to Castiel’s chest, not looking up at the alpha.

“We can take more precautions next time. It is good I spent the night, it is best to do so for after care. We can figure it out.” Castiel sounded very confident.

“Y-you’re not—y-you still want to date me?”

“Dean” Castiel’s voice was very serious, he gently tipped Dean’s jaw so that he could look at him, “I still want to date you.”

“U-used to scare-scaring a-alphas away.” Dean admitted, “’M too much.”

“You’re just right.” Castiel promised, kissing his lips, “Come back to bed.” He whispered against Dean’s lips, “It’s cold without you.”

“M’kay.” Dean mumbled.

Cas slightly pulled him back to his own room, tucking into the sheets quickly. He pulled the bedding tightly around Dean as well. He shivered a bit.

“S’cold.” Dean grumbled.

“Hm,” Cas agreed, curling up around Dean. He threw his leg between Dean’s, snuggling up close. The gland behind Cas’s ear smelled so delicious that Dean wanted to lick it, but he managed not to, “Sleep, omega.” Castiel encouraged. One arm wrapped around Dean pulled him close.

Dean was out in moments.

The sun felt warm, peaking in through the curtains. The arm wrapped around him hadn’t moved all night, like Cas had been afraid he would leave without him again. Dean glanced over at his phone on the bedside table, it was a little past nine. He couldn’t believe he had slept in for so long. The alpha was passed out next to him, sleeping soundly. Dean couldn’t help but study his face, even if he felt a bit creepy doing it. There were a few bits of grey hairs from his temples, just the faintest hint of silver that Dean would have never noticed unless he was curled up close to him. Dean pressed closer to him, breathing him in. The smell of snow made him want to curl up tighter, grab another blanket and stay in bed. Cas made an adorable huff sound, like he didn’t want to wake up as he pulled Dean closer. Dean swore he saw a flash of blue eyes, but clearly the alpha didn’t want to leave bed.

“We should probably head to the garage soon.” Dean murmured.

The alpha’s response was an intelligible grumble, pulling Dean tighter and holding him to the bed.

“If you let me go, I’ll bring you coffee.” Dean bargained. It took a moment, but Castiel let go, “I’m assuming you like black coffee?”

Dean could see a slight nod, before more burrowing into the bed. Dean chuckled, pressing a kiss to the Alpha’s forehead before rolling out of bed. He walked into the bathroom quick, doing his business and brushing his teeth. He was relieved to find no obvious hickies. He walked into the kitchen, where Colette and Cain were sitting at the kitchen table. Dean didn’t look at them, but he could feel their stares as he made his way to the nespresso machine. He put his own coffee cup in, putting in a pod, and watched it pour.

It was nearly impossible not to feel Colette and Cain’s eyes on him. They were trying to be subtle, but Colette was clearly not looking at her iPad and Cain hadn’t flipped a page in his book.  When he put in the second mug, Colette dropped her iPad and Cain put down his book. They both picked it back up again, but were steadfastly trying not to say anything. Dean grabbed the second mug once it was done pouring.

He met eyes with Cain as he turned back around. Cain raised a brow in a silent question.

“Morning.” Dean said.

“Oh my god, is he still here?” Colette squealed.

“Darling, are you trying to make me jealous?” Cain asked.

“We’re going to the garage later.” Dean said, “Can you please not be staring at us when we leave?” He knew he sounded like a teenager.

“We played it cool last night.” Cain told him.

“You did, and I am very grateful.”

“We will make ourselves scarce.” Colette said strongly, glaring a bit at Cain, “I have some laundry I have to do anyway.”

“You don’t want me to make you breakfast?” Cain looked a bit put out.

Dean smiled, “You can make me dinner, alpha. I don’t want to scare Cas away.”

“Fine.” Cain frowned.

“I will miss having your breakfast sandwich.” That perked Cain right up immediately. Dean rubbed Cain’s head with his chin, since he had two mugs in his hand.

“Go get back to that alpha.” Colette said with a wink.

Dean smiled, leaving the couple at the kitchen table to make his way back to his own room. Walking back in his room, it was a cocoon of warmth. It smelled like pine and snow—and his own scents. Cas was exactly where Dean left him, curled up in bed. He placed both coffee mugs on his side table, curling back into bed.

“Morning alpha.” Dean said softly. Those piercing blue eyes looked at Dean and he couldn’t breathe.

“Good morning Dean.” He pressed a kiss to Dean’s lips, curling his leg around Dean’s, “Did I dream you getting coffee?”

Dean snorted, “No, it’s over there.” Castiel hummed, leaning over Dean to grab the cup of coffee. He half sit up, leaning against the headboard. His hair was all over the place, but he looked adorable blowing on the coffee.

“I need to drink all of this, I have a big day head of me.” Castiel told him.

“You do?” Dean asked, settling down beside him with his own cup of coffee.

“I gotta see a man about a car.” Cas said, making Dean laugh.

Dean couldn’t have asked for a better day. He got to do one of his favorite things in the world with someone who was quickly becoming one of his favorite people. Cas asked questions, helped eagerly. Dean was sorry to see him go at the end of the day.

Chapter Text

Dean didn’t think there was a time he had been happier. He had food every day. He had an alpha who checked in on him all the time. He had a man who—while they hadn’t had a boyfriend conversation yet—treated him like gold.

Their second date was to the OBGYN office, oddly enough. Castiel came to hold Dean’s hand when they inserted the IUD. Dean thought that he could go back to work and be fine, since he had dealt with horrible symptoms from ARS for so long. But about three hours later, when he was taking deep breaths after changing oil, Bobby sent him home with a glare. Cas came over with some ice cream, where they curled up in Dean’s bed and watched movies.

He went back to the omega house at least once a week. He still saw Missouri regularly, which was good. One of his homework assignments from her was to recognize when Alphas acted on their instincts around him, so he could better see when his alphas were trying to take care of him. Dean thought it was a bit adorable when Cas got possessive of him when they went to Benny’s restaurant, and then was embarrassed by it. Dean had to remind him that Benny was happily mated with a little new born pup, who was adorable. Dean got to hold her and everything. Andrea, Benny’s mate, was also very nice to Dean. Cas was terrified of the pup, but was happy to see them. And if he indulged Cas in his need to mark him later that night, well that was neither here nor there. 

Cain had also been a bit more possessive than usual. Putting his scent all over Dean before he went on his dates, then covering him up when he came back. Cain was more insistent that they have dinner once a week together as a pack. Schedules were crazy, so it was always circled in red ink on their shared calendar.

“I can’t believe Thanksgiving is next week.” Colette said with a sigh.

“You guys have anything planned?” Dean asked.

“No, we usually just eat dinner here.” Cain said.

“Can I—can we do something?”

“What are you thinking?”

“I can start asking around, see who doesn’t have anywhere else to go. Bobby and I usually host a misfits Thanksgiving. L-last year w-was hard because S-Sam was gone.” Colette squeezed Dean’s hand.

“He isn’t coming back this year?” Cain asked.

“Girlfriend’s place.” Dean answered, “It’s what made m-me f-fall apart.” He confessed. Colette pulled Dean’s hand into her lap.

“We can do whatever you want.” Cain said solidly.

Dean started asking around. Bobby was his first call, of course. He agreed to come on the condition that he was not in charge of cooking anything. Dean scoffed, like he would ever put that man in charge of cooking anything.

He also reached out to Benny. The Louisiana native had mentioned the week previous that he would not be making the journey south for the holiday. He was incredibly touched by the invitation, and obviously wanted to help Dean with the cooking.

“I’ll try to tame the spice, cher, but sometimes it cannot be helped.” Benny warned, which made Dean laugh. Colette was ecstatic to have a baby coming for the holidays, so one of the guest rooms was prepared for a nap time area.

The omega house was given an invitation and Pam took him up on it, the others already had plans. He extended an invite to Ash, so his alpha Ellen and her daughter Jo were going to come as well.

The last invitation he was the most apprehensive about.

“Dean, will you tell me why you have been quiet all evening?” Castiel asked at dinner. They were at the Roadhouse, “Have I done something?”

“No!” Dean cried out, “No.” He fixed his tone, “I just—have a question, I think?”

“Ok.” Castiel said softly.

“What are you doing for Thanksgiving? Or I guess—would you like to come to Cain’s? I am hosting. Well, I am trying to host—it will be my first time hosting this many people.” Cas’s face looked blank, Dean began to scramble, “Obviously, if it’s too soon—or I am sure you have other plans—it’s not important.”

“Oh—Dean, no I thought you were going to ask something different.” Castiel said.

“What’d you think I was going to say?”

“I—confess—I referred to you as my boyfriend the other day to another nurse. I assumed it got back to you. I realize we haven’t had the conversation, but I was hoping—

“I’ll be your boyfriend.” Dean said excitedly.

“And I would like to come to Thanksgiving—can I bring my pack?”

“Of course, I was hoping Gabriel would take care of desserts.”

It took more coordination that Dean originally thought. He set up a google spread sheet so everyone contributing could keep track. Ana was bringing Charlie and they wanted to do a fun themed cocktail. Since there were so many people coming, Dean and Benny were each going to cook a turkey. There would be at least two different types of potatoes and a variety of sides. It was overwhelming, but Dean was absolutely stoked. He got his grocery shopping done on Monday to avoid the craziness of going the day before. He planned to get some relaxing done on Wednesday to prepare to be overrun on Thursday. Colette created a beautiful table arrangement and was excited to use her massive dining room table for good use.

Bobby closed the garage early on Wednesday, so would have the place to himself in the afternoon. Castiel’s pick-up truck was nearly finished, it was looking incredible. Dean had also been introduced to a new client, who dropped off his ride the day before. The lawyer was named Crowley, an omega that was nearly as snarky as Dean. He had vanity plates that read H3LK1NG. Crowley wanted a tricked out inside that sort of looked like it came out of a sex dungeon. Black leather, bits of red, but still classic. Dean was excited to work on the project, since it was an interesting challenge.

“Bobby, if you stay a few minutes, you can meet Castiel now.” Dean offered. Bobby grunted in his office, so Dean figured the beta would stay. Everyone else had already gone home for the holiday.

Dean walked back into the garage only to find the alpha already walking through the garage door.

“Hey Cas.” Dean greeted, feeling warm as he stepped into the alpha’s personal space.

“Hello Dean.” That deep gravel voice always made Dean a bit weak at the knees. But he didn’t show it. Cas kissed him chastely, and Dean couldn’t help but swoon a little bit. He still wasn’t over it. He hoped he never got used to it.

“Well, let’s see ‘im then.” Bobby grumbled. Dean flushed a bit, stepping away from Cas.

“Bobby, this is Cas. Cas this is Bobby.”

“Pleasure to meet you, sir.” Castiel said.

Bobby scowled, “Call me that again, I’ll throw you on your ass.”

“Yes s—I mean ok.” Cas stumbled, his ears turning red.

“You treat this boy right, ya here? I got a shot gun and I’m not afraid of prison.”

“Bobby!” Dean exclaimed.

“He’s had enough shitty alphas in his life.” Bobby pointed a finger at Castiel.

“Bobby.” Dean whispered.

“S’True.” Bobby glared at Dean, “Your brother is a shit alpha—or at least was one to you.” He pivoted back to Castiel, “I expect better from you. You’re not a young pup.”

Castiel’s flush became more pronounced, “I know. I’ll treat him right, I promise. And I won’t just take Dean’s word for it—since he always tends to put himself last.”

Bobby’s glare narrowed a bit, “Good. As long as we understand each other—then I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

“Munchies are out at two. Dinner should be around four.” Dean reminded the beta.

“Yeah, yeah.” Bobby hobbled off, closing the door behind him.

“Sorry.” Dean said.

“Don’t be. I like him.” Castiel said with a smile.

“What?” Dean asked, bewildered.

“Kinda reminds me of you.”

“Hey! I’m not that surly!”

Castiel laughed loudly, “Yes, you are.” He wrapped an arm around Dean’s waist, kissing him. Dean grumbled into his lips, but allowed himself to melt a little bit.

“Shouldn’t work on your truck with that kinda behavior.”

“You’re just making my point.”

Dean chuckled into Cas’s mouth, “Fine. You win, you annoying bastard.”

“Come on, let’s finish my truck.”

It was mostly a bunch of polishing. They were still waiting for a few custom parts to come in for the trunk to fit Cas’s serial killer kit, but it was otherwise nearly completely finished. He had Cas polishing the outside while he worked on the inside. Dean was going to let Cas drive it back home, as a surprise.

They sang along to classic rock tunes as they worked. Cas had insisted Dean listen to more Talking Heads since he had made it a joke. Castiel had a horrible singing voice in Dean’s opinion, to gravely and always off tune. But it made Dean smile, so he never said anything to him.

Dean crawled onto the bucket seat, the dash looked incredible. He was installing one of the speakers, making it blend into door panel like it wasn’t there. He tried to hide the speakers when he could, so it looked more old fashioned.

The front door bell buzzed, signifying that someone had walked into the shop. Dean forgot to lock it up after Bobby left.

“I’ll let them know we’re closed for the day.” Castiel said, since he was outside. He had done this a few times when someone tried to come in on a day they were closed. Castiel had figured out the booking system quickly too, so he was able to book appointments for customers as well. Dean joked that Castiel was better with customers than he was.

“Sorry, we are closed up for the day. But I can make you an appointment if you’d like?” Castiel’s deep voice carried.

“S’Bobby around?” The man asked and Dean’s stomach dropped. It couldn’t possibly be who he thought it was.

“You just missed him. Bobby went home for the holiday.”

“Thought the old man would work through today.” Dean’s body felt hot like right before throwing up. His stomach flipped. It couldn’t be. Dean felt himself get out of the car on autopilot. He wasn’t sure why he had to make sure.

He walked up to the door, wondering if seeing was going to make him vomit. He peaked from the door for only a moment. His entire body felt like it was on fire. His heart was racing.

“Can I write down your name and number? I can let Bobby know you stopped in?” Castiel asked.

“You work here long?”

“I don’t work here at all.” Castiel said with a laugh. He couldn’t leave Cas out there alone. What happened if he did something?

“He lets you in here unsupervised?”

“No, I’m here with—

“Me. He’s here with me. What are you doing here?” Dean asked. He couldn’t quite believe John Winchester had the fucking nerve to show up. He looked quite a bit older since the last time Dean saw him, but he looked a lot healthier. His skin wasn’t sunken in like it had been, he looked well fed.

“Dean.” John did turn a bit pale, “Shit—I didn’t mean to.”

“See me?” Dean asked. He felt hot, his arms crossed over his chest. He couldn’t catch his breath, but he didn’t want to seem like it.  

“Dean?” Castiel asked.

“Cas, this is my father.”

Castiel’s entire demeanor changed. The friendly doctor was completely gone. He stepped between John and Dean, taking up more space. His scent turned so frigid, it burned Dean’s nose.

Dean couldn’t quite believe it when John put up his hands, revealing his neck a bit to Castiel.

“I went about this the wrong way. I was trying to see Bobby because I got no false illusions that you’d want to hear from me.” John said, “Been sober now for five years. Got dragged to a fuck ton of therapy. I have this for you.” When he reached into his leather jacket, Cas let out a growl that had all the hairs on the back of Dean’s neck standing on end, “Just an envelope.”

“Slow. Your life depends on it.” Castiel stated. Every ounce of warmth was gone for his voice. The room felt colder. John slowly pulled a letter out of his pocket. The envelope looked like it had been folded up multiple times and was in his pocket awhile.

“Put it on the counter.” Castiel instructed.

“This your alpha?” John asked as he set the envelope on the counter and raised his hands again.

“Boyfriend.” Dean replied spitefully, “Fag of a son, remember?”

John flinched like had been slapped, “I remember.” He whispered.

“I suggest you get the fuck out of here.” Castiel growled.

“My number is on the outside if—if you want it.” John said. Castiel growled loudly, “I’m leaving.” He walked out slowly, the buzzer going off again when he opened the door. It fell shut with its usual bang, but it made Dean jump.

Castiel stood by the glass door, watching John back up and leave the parking lot.

“Dean?” Castiel asked, his entire demeanor melting as soon as he turned around.

“Why the fuck would he come here?” Dean asked, staring at the envelope on the table, “I haven’t seen him in nearly ten years. Haven’t even fuckin’ heard from him. Didn’t know if he was alive or dead.”

His entire body felt like it might snap. It was strange, he kept waiting for the drop of hearing from his old alpha. But even though he was expecting to start feeling nauseous, his body just felt hot.

“What do you need?” Castiel asked, placing one careful hand on his elbow.

Dean felt his eyes burn with unshed tears suddenly. He opened his mouth to talk, but nothing would come out. He closed his mouth and tried again, shaking his head. Castiel moved closer, and Dean couldn’t help but curl up into his embrace. He put his head against the shorter man’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist. Castiel wrapped a hand around the back of his head, melting his inner omega.

“Let’s get you back to Cain’s.” Castiel said strongly. Dean needed a man with the plan.

“Your truck.” Dean mumbled into his shoulder.

“We can worry about it later, I’ve seen you lock up enough times. Head to the impala, sit in the passenger seat and wait for me.” Castiel pulled off his trench coat, wrapping it around Dean’s shoulders, “You need me to walk you there?” Dean shook his head. He felt hallow as he walked to the car. The gravel crunched amazingly loud, and he looked over his shoulder a few times to make sure the lot was empty. His car was parked behind the garage, so no one saw it from the street.

It was too silent when he shut the impala door.

He slid open his phone and called Missouri.

“Sugar, I remember what time tomorrow. I promise.” She said when she answered the phone.

“My Dad showed up at Bobby’s shop.”  

“Oh honey. Where are you? Are you by yourself?”

“Cas is here. He’s closing up. He—he protected me. Got all—alpha. Smelled all alpha-y. John didn’t do anything. Dropped off a letter.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Weird. Empty? Last time I saw him, he beat me up. Yellin’ at me for bein’ an omega.” Dean rubbed his leg and pulled Castiel’s jacket a bit tighter. Dean jumped when Castiel opened the door.

“Cain?” Castiel asked when he shut the door.

“Missouri.” Dean answered. Castiel turned the car on and Dean’s chest tightened, “You get a scratch on her and I will burry your body in pieces.”

Castiel snorted, “I promise Dean.”

“You takin’ Dean back to Cain’s?” Missouri asked

“Yes Missouri.” Castiel answered.

“You have a bag to stay with Dean? All those ‘protect’ pheromones will help him in case he drops.”

“I can stay.” Even that sentence made Dean breathe a bit easier. Castiel offered his hand so Dean could hold it. He wove his fingers between Cas’s, holding the phone with his other hand.

“Make sure he is around Cain for a while too. He needs his pack alpha.” Missouri told Castiel.

“Will do.” Castiel assured.

“And Dean?”

“Yeah?” Dean replied.

“What did you say?”  Dean explained what happened. He really didn’t do much of anything, “Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m so proud of you”

“What? Why?” Dean asked.

“You saw your abusive father and you did all the right things. You let your alpha protect you. You didn’t dissolve into a million pieces like you thought you would. You saw him, and he left. At the end of the day, you are in good shape.” Dean relaxed even more hearing Missouri tell him that everything didn’t go shitty, “You have the letter?”

“Cas does.”

“Don’t read it for now. You can have Cain read it, if you’d like, to better see if it’s worth reading. But you don’t have to ever open that letter. You don’t owe him anything, alright?”

“Yeah.” Dean whispered as they pulled up into Cain’s driveway.

“Snuggle with those alphas, eat some pie.” Missouri said, making Dean chuckle.

“Doctor’s orders?” Dean asked.

“You bet your scrawny ass they are.” Dean laughed that time. Cas opened his door, “I’ll see you tomorrow, but call me if you need me.”

“Thanks Missouri.”

The house smelled wonderful when they walked in. Cain agreed to make dinner for the pack because Dean was doing most of the heavy lifting tomorrow.

“Hey!” Colette greeted, holding a glass of wine at the island and Cain was standing over the cooktop.

“My dad showed up at the garage today.” Dean announced.

“What?” Cain turned pale, “Are you ok? What happened?”

“I’m ok. Cas—can you tell the story? I don’t want to.” Dean hopped up on the bar stool next to Colette, who wrapped her arms around him. Cain walked around the island, hugging him as well.

“Let me take this.” Colette grabbed the spatula from Cain, squeezing Dean tight before leaving him with Cain. Dean’s vision was blurring a bit as he leaned into Cain’s scent, “You need your alpha.”

“What happened?” Cain wrapped his arms around Dean tighter, pulling him into his chest. He was looking at Castiel.

“He walked in after the garage had closed for the day—he didn’t know it shut down early. I went to the counter since Dean was in the truck. He asked for Bobby. I said he left for the day. He was surprised by that. Wondered how long I worked here and why I was left unsupervised—that’s when Dean walked in and asked what he was doing there.

“I didn’t know who he was before Dean said—obviously. He said something about not having any false illusions about being in Dean’s life, which is why he wanted to see Bobby. He said he was sober, been to therapy.” Colette scoffed loudly, “Gave Dean a letter.”

“Cas growled at him.” Dean said.

“That’s not all I would have done if he gave me the chance.” Castiel said. Cain’s scent was clearly upset, it smelled like an inferno. Cain gripped him tighter, rubbing more of his fire scent along Dean’s head, “He dropped the letter and walked out.”

“Missouri said for you to read the letter. See if I should know what it says or not.” Dean mumbled into Cain’s chest.

“Colette and I will take a look later tonight, if that’s ok?” Cain asked.

“Yeah.” Dean answered.

“Do you want a beer?” Colette asked, “Tequila shot?” Dean snorted.

“Beer would be great.” Dean said, peeking out from behind Cain’s arms.

Cain didn’t let go of him as Colette plated up four meals. It was salmon with roasted veggies and potatoes; something light, since Thanksgiving was the next day. Cain tucked Dean into the corner of the couch, snuggling in next to him. Cas sat where Dean could put his feet up on his lap, and Colette was across from Cain.

Pressure eased off his chest as he talked and laughed over dinner.

His old alpha didn’t matter. This mattered. His pack mattered. Dinner tomorrow with the band of misfits mattered. His dad did not.

At some point, Dean snuggled up next to Castiel. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders, talking with Colette about hijinks at work.

“Hello?” A voice called from their garage entry way.

“Shit, this place is gorgeous.” Another female voice said.

“Ana? I said to text when you’re here.” Castiel said, scooting around a bit so he could look over the back of the couch to where Ana and Charlie were walking in.

“Couldn’t resist.” Ana responded with a wink.

“Come in! Can we get you some wine?” Colette sat up.

“You just don’t want to be out numbered.” Cain accused.

“You’re damn right.” Colette responded.

“Your bag, your highness.” Ana dropped off beautiful leather weekend bag by the couch where Castiel was sitting, “And we’d love some wine.”

“Cas is supposed to stay the night, Missouri’s orders.” Dean explained. Cain snorted, “It’s true! You can ask her tomorrow.”

Cain stood up, “I’ll get you both a glass of wine.”

Dean laughed until his face hurt. The wine poured generously as they talked about Charlie’s job, even as she poked fun of Cain. But she had good ideas on how to help Cain take down the Angel Brothers, which Castiel and Ana were on board with. It was nearly midnight by the time Dean looked at the clock again.

“I need to go to bed if I am going to cook for all of y’all tomorrow.” Dean declared.

“Look how adorably southern you are.” Ana pinched his cheek. Dean stuck his tongue out.

“We should probably uber.” Charlie looked to Ana.

“Leave the keys here in case we need to move your car tomorrow. I left my car at the garage, so I need a car anyway.” Cas said.

“Perfect.” Ana hopped up, “Uber ordered. See you bitches tomorrow.”

Dean and Cas helped clean up before wandering back to Dean’s room. Castiel had his weekend bag with him, which he plopped down on the chair when he walked in. Dean took one look at the delicious looking alpha and kissed him.

“Can we have sex?” Dean asked. They hadn’t yet. Though they had fooled around a few other times.

“You mean the whole enchilada?” Cas asked, waggling his brows.

“I hate you.” Dean tried to pull away, but Castiel pulled him back. His grip was strong, pulling Dean flush against him.

“Are you sure? Today was difficult.” Castiel didn’t lighten up his grip for a moment.

“Yeah. I think—I’m not sure what I was waiting for. But I wanted a reason—so now I feel ready. I’m nervous I’m going to space out, but that’s it.”

“You probably will if I knot you.” Castiel said, “I don’t have to if you’d rather not risk it.”

“No!” Dean blurted out, “I want you to.”

Cas kissed him. Dean wondered if it was possible to burn from the inside out. For someone who smelled so cold. It was weird that Castiel always made him feel so warm. Dean pushed him down on the bed, crawling onto him. The alpha’s strong hands pulled him tightly onto his lap, grinding up into him. He was just starting to get hard, but Dean couldn’t help but hum in appreciation. Cas eagerly pulled off Dean’s flannel, then the white undershirt.

“Beautiful.” Cas murmured.

“Shut up.” Dean huffed.

“No.” Castiel said sternly, growling a bit as he did.

Cas tasted wonderful. He just loved kissing the perfect lips and staring into those fuckin’ blue eyes. Dean couldn’t help but whimper when Castiel finally removed his button-down shirt, tossing it to the side. Having his skin rub against Dean’s was heaven. Dean wanted his scent marked all over his skin. He gasped when he found himself suddenly on his back, the alpha looming over him. Castiel pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, down his neck and nuzzling a bit at the sensitive part behind his ear. His omega purred in delight, arching up.

He was already throbbing with need and they had barely gotten started. The flood gates had opened now that Dean knew everything was on the table. The kiss nearly made him want to melt. Castiel gripped his hips tightly. His blue eyes stared up at him as he unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them off and tossing them to the side.

“Yours too.” Dean demanded. He pulled them off as well. Dean pulled him close, his fingers went along the scars on his arm, placing a gentle kiss on one of the bite marks. Castiel’s fingers wound around the nape of his neck, pulling him up for a kiss. It was rough, demanding. There were times Castiel didn’t fill out the stereotypical role as alpha, but this was not one of them. The alpha dominated his mouth; Dean could only take it.

The kiss was broken briefly when Dean’s shirt was pulled off. Dean’s entire body tingled as Castiel wrapped his hands around Dean’s bare back, pulling him close as he crawled on top of him.

“Cas.” Dean groaned. Each kiss felt like fire against his skin. The alpha was hard against him, rubbing up against Dean in his boxers. Dean quickly got rid of his own, tossing them outside of the nest. Castiel soon followed.

Having every inch of naked alpha skin pressed up against him was just as good as it was the first time. Dean rolled the alpha onto his back, straddling his stomach. Castiel’s hands went to Dean’s hips, gripping them tightly. Dean couldn’t help but move his hips, hoping for a bit more friction.

“Fuck.” Dean grunted, pleasure tingling up his spine, his head dropping back. The deep rumble from Cas vibrated through him. The alpha grabbed his back, his nose pressed against his neck as he sat up. Cas gripped the back of his neck, making Dean melt into a puddle as he kissed him. He smelled like cloves and pine, and it was all Dean could do to try not to swallow him. Cas wrapped his hands around both their cocks and stroked.

“Stop, stop, stop.” Dean gripped Castiel’s arm tightly.

He immediately let go, pulling back, “You alright?”

“Yeah, just gunna cum in two seconds if you keep doing that and smelling so good.”

“You smell phenomenal.” Castiel complemented, moving his hand from Dean’s hip to between his legs, “You smell like leather, and fantastic whiskey.” Dean whimpered as one of the alpha’s fingers pushed inside him, his head dropping back, “And your neck—how you submit to me is beautiful.” Cas’s low voice was going to make him come if he wasn’t careful, “Every whimper that comes out of you makes me crave another.”

Dean was dripping. He wanted more. He arched his hips into Castiel’s hand, gripping his arm so tightly it had to hurt.

“Please.” Dean whispered.

“I am eager to see what you look like the first time I am inside you.” Castiel told him, pushing two fingers inside of him. Dean’s mouth fell open in a silent gasp, rolling his hips eagerly.

“I want to feel it.” Dean said, “Want to know what your knot feels like. Fantasized about it so many times alpha.” Dean was rewarded with another finger inside him. The omega in him was craving more—demanding more, “Pictured you in so many ways. I want to do all of them.”

“I want you to have control over your movements the first time, alright? And speaking from experience—you don’t want to get locked in an uncomfortable position.” Dean couldn’t help but growl a bit, “Don’t like picturing me with others, omega?” Cas teased as he moved around the bed so he was sitting against the head board. He pulled Dean with him in his lap, “You can mark me with your slick.”

“Jesus.” Dean gushed just thinking about it.

“Want more time to stretch?”

“No, I’m ready alpha.” Dean growled. Cas didn’t second guess him. Dean moved a bit, letting Castiel slide in the first bit. The whine that came out of Dean’s throat surprised even him as he sunk down flush against Cas.

“Dean” Cas groaned in his ear, and Dean gripped the alpha that much tighter. The knot at the base was beginning to swell. Dean pressed a kiss to Cas’s jaw, rolling his hips a bit to get used to the new sensation. He clenched his inner muscles, “Christ.”

When he thought he could, Dean slid up a bit, his thighs shaking as he slid up and down. It was every bit as delicious as Dean thought it would be. Castiel inside him was—everything. Dean wanted to press closer. Wanted to drown himself in the smells. He could feel himself begin to float, but he didn’t really care. Castiel flexed his hips up into Dean.

“Alpha.” Dean whined, “Need more. Please.”

“Good boy.” The praise nearly made Dean split apart at the seams. Castiel continued to fuck up into him. His cock rubbed against the alpha’s belly. Pre-cum was spilling everywhere, smearing the alpha with his scent. He wanted it all over him.

The base of that knot began to swell even more, and Dean could barely breathe. The sensation was something he never wanted to forget—so much better than the fake knot. The connection, the smell. Everything was driving him higher and higher. Castiel placed a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Dean went limp with pleasure, feeling like he was hanging on the edge of a precipice.

Castiel let him go, driving up into him with more intensity.

“Cas.” Dean warned, feeling that edge tip even closer.

“Touch yourself. I want you to mark me. Claim me.” Castiel growled in his ear. Dean gripped his own cock, but whined, “You can come, omega.”  The purr of omega in his ear was what sent Dean off the edge. His hand was flying over his own cock as his cum covered Castiel’s stomach. The knot at the base of Castiel’s cock continued to swell, only adding to Dean’s pleasure. Castiel growled, his hips slamming into him.

“Alpha.” Dean whined just as Castiel came into him, his knot locking them in place. Cas pulled him close as Dean purred, floating.

“You were perfect.” His alpha hummed in his ear. Dean pressed his nose against Cas’s neck. He never wanted to smell anything else. Cas’s hands ran down his back, holding him close. Dean could sort of hear him talking, but couldn’t really make out most of the words.

Dean continued to float.

He felt vaguely exhausted as alpha pulled him down a bit so they could lay down. Dean whined at moving, but the steady purr of the alpha calmed him down. Dean tried to burry himself in Castiel’s scent, Dean’s nose tight against his neck.

“Beautiful.” Castiel whispered, squeezing him close.

Dean had no idea how long they were pressed together. Time didn’t really seem to matter, nor the specifics of what Castiel was saying. It was praise that curled Dean’s toes. Dean couldn’t quite believe it when his cock started to get hard again. It hurt with painful pleasure, and he couldn’t help but whine. The knot inside of him was still locked in place, so Dean rocked against it.

“That’s right, omega. I need you to come for me again.” Castiel whispered in his ear. Dean hissed in pain when Castiel wrapped a hand around his dick. He couldn’t help but twist and contort.

“Please, please, please.” Dean babbled. It was too dry, and a bit too rough. But it felt so good Dean didn’t want him to stop. He rocked his hips into Castiel’s hand, the knot moving inside him. He yelped when it ran up against his prostate, the pleasure too much.

“You ok?” Castiel asked.

“Yes, please don’t stop.” Dean growled, “M-might whine some more—but I’m ok.”

“Do you like when it hurts a bit, omega?” Castiel asked.

“Oh God.” Dean’s eyes rolled in the back of his head when Castiel stroked him this time. It hurt, but it was delicious all at the same time. When he looked at his cock in Castiel’s hand, it was nearly purple. He winced as Castiel’s fingers rubbed at the sensitive bit under his head, “Cas.” He growled. It was a small concentrated movement, making Dean twist and contort.

The pleasure was too much. He rocked against Castiel’s softening knot, trying to pull every ounce out of the alpha that he could. It cut through him, his jaw tightening.

“I can’t.” He whined.

“Yes, you can.” Castiel told him. His strokes now moving quickly on his cock. Dean grasped Cas’s side, digging his fingers into his hip.

“Oh God, oh God.” Dean growled moving his hips more aggressively into Castiel’s fist. This time when he fell over the edge, his mouth dropped open in a silent gasp. He grunted a bit, cum dribbling into Castiel’s fist. Cas continued to stroke him. Dean contorted more violently in the pleasure that felt like lightening in his body. He moaned and winced, grasping onto Castiel tightly even as he tried to twist away from his grasp.

“Beautiful.” Castiel growled. Dean knew he was playing now, but couldn’t bring himself to care. Castiel continued to rub him as he got softer, milking the orgasm for that much longer.

Dean could barely catch his breath by the time Castiel took his hand away, “Sadistic mother fucker.” He said with a smile, making Castiel chuckle. His knot finally loosened enough where he could pull out.

“How are you feeling?” Castiel asked.

“Good.” Dean felt more normal, “Less floaty.” Castiel kissed his lips.

“Want to shower?” Dean nodded eagerly.

Dean’s bathroom was fantastic. The large glass doors enclosed a rather spacious shower, with a massive shower head that came from above. Dean insisted on washing Cas’s hair. Castiel tried to protest.

“I gotta take care of you too, alpha.” Dean insisted. That made Castiel relent. Dean made a mental note to remember that reason, in case he needed it later. He couldn’t help but give the alpha a good head massage while he was at it. Cas purred under the attention, ducking his head under the water when Dean let him rinse.

They pulled on their pajamas after, brushing their teeth at the sink. It felt domestic, comfortable. Castiel pulled out his contacts and put on glasses.

“Love the glasses.” Dean said, kissing his cheek. Cas hummed his appreciation, giving him another kiss as they curled in bed. Castiel pulled him close, not even giving him an opportunity to be far away from him.

“Goodnight Dean.”

“Night Cas.”

Chapter Text

Dean helped himself to a bit more drink as he continued to cook. He had his spread sheet printed out and pinned to a cookbook so it would stay up. He was glad he decided to print it because it was splattered with ingredients. The mashed potatoes were done, the sweet potatoes fries were ready to go in the indoor fryer. Benny had taken over a side of the kitchen as well, bringing over giant bags of little Tupperware containers of food. The professional chef had a certain confidence in the kitchen that made Dean a bit nervous, but the alpha only encouraged Dean.

The only item they were competitive about was the turkey. Benny had made a slow cooked smoked turkey that had Dean’s mouth drooling the instant he saw it. Dean was in charge of making a fried turkey. Benny had woken up at some insane hour to put the turkey on. He pulled it off around noon to head over to Cain’s.

Ana and Charlie crafted some type of apple cocktail and a pumpkin one as well. Both were fantastic, though Dean was partial to the apple one. It had bourbon in it. He drank it slow and sparingly while cooking. The TV was on playing one of the football games. Ellen, Jo and Bobby were all gathered around it, yelling about it. Colette had taken the pup from Andrea nearly as soon as she walked in the door. Andrea was glad to have Murphey out of her hands, or so she said over and over again when Colette repeatedly made sure it was alright.

“I get enough time with her.” Andrea said with a laugh. The only one Colette had to share the pup with was Pam, who was cooing over her in Colette’s arms when she wasn’t holding the pup herself.

Gabe looked exhausted, but came in with a few sets of pies and freshly made dinner rolls. It was a busy time of year for his bakery, and he cranked out an insane amount of desserts for the holiday the day before.

“I hid these in the back, so no one would take them. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have anything to bring. We sold out so fast this year, and I baked a third more than what I did last year.” He said proudly. It was officially declared that Gabriel was not allowed to help with the cooking or cleaning, since he had done so much to help with everyone else’s holiday. He was sitting down having a conversation with Missouri about how crazy the shop had been.

Ash and Charlie were in some deep computer discussions with Cain, mostly something to do with hacking and taking down evil corporations and billionaires. Ana was only pushing it along further. Dean thought for sure it was probably a terrible idea for them all to join together, because no doubt they would take over the world.

Castiel floated around the groups, coming over to Dean every once and awhile to squeeze his wrist, making sure everything was alright. Benny made fun of them for being a bit sappy, but Dean didn’t mind.

Eventually the two turkeys were carved and put on a platter. The various types of potatoes dishes, some Benny had brought as well. There was some type of Louisiana stuffing that Dean thought looked incredible. There was cranberry sauce. Green bean casserole, and par cooked green beans. The kitchen island was covered in food. Every inch of it. It was easier to work buffet style with so many people. People elbowed their way to their favorites, piling their plates high before sitting down at Colette’s amazingly decorated table. The lights were dimmed, candles were lit and it was gorgeous.

“Alright, we’re not praying people.” Cain started off, and the table got quiet, “But I did want to say thank you to everyone who made food. Especially to our chefs, Dean and Benny. I’m not sure which turkey tastes better, but either way I think I win.” Everyone laughed, “And our pastry chef, Gabriel.”

“Here, here.” Gabe held up his wine glass.

“You’re supposed to be thankful on thanksgiving, so Colette and I wanted to especially show our gratitude to our newest pack member.” Cain raised his glass, “Dean, you have been a gift to us, and I would be very remiss in not saying how much we are grateful to have you in our lives.” Dean’s face turned bright red as everyone stared at him, “Thank you for bringing us all together.”

“To Dean!” Charlie raised her glass.

“To Dean!” Everyone said while Dean covered his face. Castiel laughed, kissing his head.

“Everyone eat.” Dean grumbled.

“Speech!” Gabriel said.

“Speech!” Ana cried right after.

“I hate you.” Dean glared at the pastry chef.

“Come on, cher.” Benny encouraged.

“Fine.” Dean grumbled, “Thanks for comin’. Got a spot with your name on it if you ever feel like comin’ back.”

“That drawl gets thick when you’re embarrassed.” Charlie teased.

“I hate all of y’all and wish I never invited you.” Dean said with a smile, making everyone laugh, “This is shapin’ up to be the best Thanksgiving I’ve ever had. So thanks for bein’ here. Happy Thanksgiving.”

There were cheers of “Happy Thanksgiving!” Before everyone got to eating. Castiel squeezed his wrist with before digging into his own plate. Eventually Charlie had them all get together so they could get a picture. She also showed Dean how to use his insta-stories. He posted the picture of everyone together, calling it a Misfits Thanksgiving in the caption. Then, he posted his first insta-story.

“Alpha, come on.” Dean laughed at Cain, trying to bounce the red wine cork so it would balance on its end. He was cackling as Cain tried again and again. Dean grabbed it with his left hand and made it on the first bounce, making him laugh. Charlie helped him put a filter on it, tag Cain and post it.

Wish I was there! The notification came up on his phone from a SamWinchester01. Dean scowled. He hadn’t even looked at his brother’s Instagram since he left—couldn’t look at his picture. He flipped over to his profile and the first picture made him want to throw his phone. There was Sam and a girl—clearly his girlfriend. She was gorgeous, in an all-american white girl type of way. They were holding signs. For Omega rights. It was at some gathering in Stanford. Dean clicked Jess’s profile—in her bio she said she was the president of the Omega Rights Society at Stanford but that was all Dean could see since her profile was private.

“You alright?” Castiel’s voice was low in his ear. Dean handed Castiel his phone, not wanting to deal with it any longer.

“Sam wrote on my insta post about he wished he was here.” Dean hissed. Castiel frowned, taking the phone and putting it in his own pocket, “I clicked his profile—his fucking girlfriend is president of the Omega Rights Society at Stanford. Sure as shit she doesn’t know about me.”

“Sounds like you need a refill.” Charlie piped in, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I was coming over to ask if you wanted another drink and I heard.”

Dean waved his hand, he didn’t really care that she knew. He leaned into Castiel’s embrace.

“Your family heard you were having a fun thanksgiving, and wanted to sprinkle in a little drama.” Cas told him, “My family must be on the same program, they do the same thing.” Dean laughed into his embrace, “The secret is that you can ignore it. It will be there after the holiday.”

“What drama did your family bring?” Dean asked.

Cas sighed, “Mandatory New Year’s Eve Party attendance. It was how I was able to negotiate out of being there for Thanksgiving.”

“Don’t think you’re getting out of that one, Dean-o. You’re going to suffer with the rest of us.” Gabriel said, handing them both a slice of pumpkin pie with way too much whip cream on top.

“Gabriel, he doesn’t have to go.” Castiel said.

“D-do you want me to go?”

“It will be awful.”

“Not answering the question, Cas.” Dean said. Also something he was working on with Missouri. Dean often assumed things that weren’t true based on what people weren’t saying. It was a nasty habit, since he had to do it living with his father and Sam. But assuming the worst will get him in trouble.

“Well done, Dean.” Missouri said, making Dean’s cheeks go pink.

“What does that mean?” Castiel asked.

“If you don’t want me to go—I think it’s because you don’t want your family to meet me, because you’re hiding me out of shame.”

Castiel blanched, “I don’t want you to go because my family is horrible.”

“But if we go together, I can be there for you. Like you have been for me. Not because I owe you—because I want to.”

“Take the hand that is offered, Castiel.” Missouri warned.

“Yes, Missouri.” Castiel said solemnly, “I would be honored, Dean.”

“Cool.”

“Dude, you’re going to need an entire crash course on the fam. I can make you a binder—you’ll be Anne Hathaway in Devil Wears Prada—OH! I can be Stanley Tucci!” Gabe clapped excitedly, “Fashion montage is a must. Family does not accept flannel.”

“Oh God.” Dean frowned.

“Not too late to back out.” Castiel offered.

“Not gunna work, buddy.” Dean retorted. Cas smiled.

“Uh, guys?” Pam called out. The room got a bit quiet as they all stared at her, “Dean is trending on twitter.”

“I am?” Dean asked, “What’d I do?”

“You confirmed you’re in Cain’s pack.”

“Oh—that’s twitter trend worthy?” Dean asked.

“He’s one of the richest people in the world—so yes.” Ana said.

“What are people saying?” Dean asked.

“You don’t want to know.” Colette said, “Trust me. When I mated him—all the articles were either saying how adorable it was that he mated a ‘working class’ woman or that I was a whore and a gold digger.” Colette scowled.

“Sorry Dean, I should have thought about it before I showed you how to put an insta-story.” Charlie frowned.

Dean’s heart was racing a bit, but he shook his head, “It’s ok. I would have to confirm it at some point anyway.”

“The news cycle will pick something else up soon anyway.” Ana said with a shrug, “If you want a laugh, read all the articles speculating about my divorce. They are a hoot.”

“Most of them think she took all his money and ran.” Gabe said with a grin.

“Not entirely wrong.” Her grin took on a bit of an evil glint.

Cas frowned, reaching into his pocket to pull out Dean’s phone again. It was lit up with Sammy Winchester. Dean’s mouth dropped open. He couldn’t—his body was freezing up.

“I-I c-can’t.” Dean shook his head.

“Can I?” Cain’s voice was a balm on a wound. Dean nodded his head before he could think about it. Cain took the phone from Castiel’s outstretched arm.

“Good evening Sam.” Was the only thing Dean heard before Cain walked outside, sliding the door shut behind him.

“Well, it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a little family drama.” Benny said. It was quiet, but Dean couldn’t help but burst out laughing. It seemingly gave permission for everyone else to laugh. Dean leaned into Castiel’s shoulder, breathing in his pine and snowy scent. Letting it calm him. Castiel wrapped an arm around his shoulders, his other hand grabbing Dean’s wrist loosely, his fingers pressed against his pulse point.

“I think this calls for more pie—and alcohol. Who wants some?” Gabriel asked.

Dean got a slice of apple pie, because he needed pinnacle comfort food to deal with this sort of drama. Bobby slipped out onto the porch. Andrea came out after putting Murphey to bed.

“How you doin’, sugar?” Missouri asked.

“Ok, I think. I’m shocked he called me. It probably has to do with me trending on twitter. And if it’s about how I got a new alpha, or who he is—I really don’t want to hear him talk shit about it. He doesn’t get an opinion, he left.”

“He doesn’t. And especially since he called in the heat of the moment, I am sure you did not want to take that call.” Dean nodded, “You did the right thing.”

They watched more of the football game, cheering on Seattle. Dean kept glancing over to Cain on the porch. Cas had a hand on him at every moment. Not hovering, but the perfect amount of awareness. Like Dean knew if he needed it, he could pull Cas to him.

When Dean looked over his shoulder again, Cain had hung up the phone and was talking to Bobby. Dean curled up into Castiel a bit more, blowing on his new drink of a spiked hot apple cider.

“Dean?” Cain called from the doorway. Dean immediately hopped up, sliding the door shut behind him when he went out. The first thing Cain did was wrap his arms around Dean. Dean didn’t know how much he needed a hug from his alpha until that moment. Cain scent marked his head, holding him tightly, “I am very glad you did not answer that phone call.”

“What’d he say?” Dean asked, backing up from Cain.

“It was clear that he felt lied to—Bobby had not told him you took another alpha. He didn’t know about your collapse several weeks ago either.” Cain rubbed Dean’s arm, “He needed reminding that just because you two were both raised in the same situation, does not mean it affected you both the same.” Cain took a breath, “I’m—well, I might have used his girlfriend against him. Hopefully she can get him to see reason given her position.”

“You knew?”

“I had my team get a dossier on Sam—for your protection. Your father as well. Sam’s I had gone through, since he seemed to be a more present factor in your life. I am regretting that now.”

“It’s ok, alpha. I would have told you not to worry about John anyway, since he hadn’t been in my life in so long.” Dean could feel Cain relax a bit, like he needed Dean’s approval just as much as Dean craved his, “Thank you for talking to him, Cain.”

“You’re welcome Dean.” Cain was pushing all the love and positivity he could through the bond, making Dean feel centered and safe. Dean hugged him again, and after a fresh bite re-affirming their bond on Dean’s arm, they walked back inside.

Dean noticed Cain went straight to Colette, who grabbed Cain’s hand and pulled him close. There still seemed to be a heavy weight on the alpha. Dean wasn’t quite ready to know what they talked about yet, but he would be soon.

Castiel didn’t much leave his side either. It was strange. He had to keep on getting hit in the head with it, but he couldn’t believe how much he had changed within the past five months. Before, hearing from Sam would have made him curl up in his room for at least the day if not several. He felt so much pride.

It was weird, but he didn’t hate it.

*        *        *

The house was quiet. After such a loud day Thanksgiving, the silence felt that much more loud. The smells of the Thanksgiving were still lingering—the turkey, candles, apple cider. Cain felt the urge to check all the doors and security cameras. Even after all these years after leaving Angel Corporation, the constant need to look over his shoulder had never left him. There was a full house. Benny and Andrea took the room their pup was in, deciding to have a few more drinks because they were having too much fun to go home. Castiel, of course, had stayed with Dean. Ana, Charlie, Pam, Ash and Gabe were all in a room having a sleep over, according to them. All four had gotten pretty drunk by the end of the night, so Cain heard their voices a bit after everyone else had gone to bed.

Ellen, Bobby and Jo had all gone home. Neither Bobby or Ellen had much to drink, and by the time they left at ten it had been plenty of time to sober up.

“Hey alpha.” Colette’s voice made him jump.

“Jesus. Give me a heart attack.” Cain placed a hand on his chest even as he pulled her into his embrace. She hummed, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Want to tell me why you’re wandering around the house so early in the morning?”

“Anxious. Wondering why fate has such a sense of humor.” Colette pulled him along the hallway, back toward their nest.

“Well, sometimes it’s so we can laugh even when we want to cry.” Colette told him.

“Yeah.” Cain frowned.

“Come on, alpha.” She tugged his pajama shirt, “What are you thinking about?”

“Sam.” He answered.

“Dean did not seem to want to know more about what was on the phone call.” Colette said as they walked into their bedroom.

“He doesn’t need to know—I don’t think I caught Sam at his best.” Cain rubbed his face, “He sounded more jealous than anything.”

“His brother just got into a billionaire’s pack. I’m sure he is jealous.” Colette said frankly.

“He has been trying very hard to prove himself at school—joining all the right social clubs to be a very powerful lawyer if he continues on this path.” Cain said.

“Hm.” Colette said, a sparkle in her eye, “Reminds me of someone.”

Cain nodded, “One of life’s funny moments. I just—I grew to appreciate my brother and my father more through everything but this—” Cain huffed, “Experiencing it is quite different. I want to eviscerate him—I don’t know how they managed not to murder me.”

“Love.”

“That does not help me. I’m trying not to murder Sam.” Cain said, glowering.

Colette ran her fingers through his hair, “Hm, empathy. And a bit hypocritical if you did.” Cain snorted, “What did Sam say?”

“He was angry. Said I had no right to prey on Dean like that. Like he was trying to be protective. I said that’s what happens when an alpha leaves an omega, a big bad wolf can come a snatch him up.”

“Cain.” Her tone was reproachful.

“What? I’m not going to make it easy for him.” Cain shook his head, “It didn’t help me. And it sure as shit hasn’t helped Sam either. Bobby and Dean were too nice to him, didn’t call him out for being selfish.”

“I think Dean doesn’t realize Sam is being selfish. His entire life has been centered around making sure Sam is ok—no room for his own health in it. Or that he was being short changed by making it all about Sam.” Colette said.

“I told him he lost the right to worry about his brother when he shattered their bond and left him behind.” Cain frowned, emotion catching in his throat, “He said he was waiting for Dean to apologize.”

“Jesus Christ.” Colette growled.

“I said for being an omega? For needing a bond?” Cain growled, “He is lucky he wasn’t standing in front of me. He spewed more non-sense about Ruby. Claiming they went through the same things as pups. Which is when I reminded him that Dean needed a bond. It wasn’t an option. Needing comfort from your own fucking pack shouldn’t be held over his head like a fucking carrot. I told him he was no better than his father.”

“What’d he say to that?”

“Said he never beat Dean.” Cain scoffed, “I told him to ask his little girlfriend what she thought of his behavior. That if Dean came to her with his story, what do you think she would do?”

“Cain, you didn’t”

“No—I didn’t tell her. But I fucking wanted to.” Cain growled, “I want to ruin his life like he did for Dean—but I know Dean would hate me for it.”

“He’s not an eye for an eye type of person.” Colette confirmed.

Cain sighed, “I was really hoping you would encourage me to do it.”

Colette snorted, “You know I would never.”

“I know.” Cain grumbled, pulling her into his embrace. It was quiet for a moment as he worked up the courage to say the next part, “I ended the call with saying you are your brother’s keeper.” Colette knew how the words from Mara, Abel’s mate, had haunted him for all these years. It was one of the last conversations they ever had. Now it was mostly between lawyers, Cain tried to respect her want to avoid him at all costs, “Hoping they have as much as an impact on him as they did me. If he is half the person Dean thinks he is—maybe this can turn him around.”

“You’re a kind man, Cain.” Colette whispered, kissing his cheek.

Colette was able to fall asleep after that, but Cain’s mind was still racing a bit. He listened to his mate’s easy breathing close to his ear, her bite mark prominent on her neck. He tried to keep his past actions from hurting his pack mates, but it seemed that it kept happening. Cain had forgotten all the media scrutiny after they first got mated, and forgot that Dean would have to deal with it. He called his manager to help with the press, apparently, he had already gotten several inquiries.

It was only a bit after seven when he finally stopped trying to fall back asleep. He stopped by the nespresso machine, making himself the strongest coffee he could find. The kitchen was nearly spotless. One of the fun things about living with Dean is that he always made sure the kitchen was clean before going to bed. There could be things running in the dishwasher, but counters had to be spotless and nothing soaking.

“Dishes don’t like sleepovers in the sink.” Dean had told him gruffly one night when he kept insisting that they clean up before going to bed. Cain had to admit, it was much nicer waking up without having any lingering dishes.

He was glad he pulled on one of his fluffy three-quarter zips as he walked out on the porch. It was cold. His slippers were showing in years, so it might be time for a new pair. He looked at his phone, not sure if he should do what he was about to do.

He dialed.

“Is someone dead?”

“No.” Cain answered.

“Then goodbye.”

“Wait! Mara, please.” Cain let out a harsh breath. The phone was silent, “I took on a new pack member.”

“I saw.”

“Oh—ok. He is an omega. Grew up in Kansas. Lost his mom when he was young. So it was him and his brother living with their dad. Apparently, the school tried to call CPS on him a few times. But they were overworked—no one ever got out there.”

“Too many people to help” Mara said. She worked in social services. Cain remembered her crying after a few cases. He knew she still worked there.

“His Dad beat him up, so he was relocated here about ten years ago.”

“You have a point to this, Cain?”

“He’s got a brother. Real piece of work. Brilliant. Ambitious.”

“I know the type.” She said dryly.

“He dissolved the bond between them when he went to college. Leaving Dean behind.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah, that was over two and a half years ago. Which is about when I met Dean, had him work on my car.” Cain’s voice caught in his throat, “I talked to his brother yesterday. He finally called Dean after not talking to him that entire time—not coming home. He had the gall to feel left out, can you believe that?”

“The nerve of some people.” Mara whispered.

The trees were looking a bit blurry, so Cain closed his eyes for a moment and took a breath, “Had to remind him that he is his brother’s keeper.” It was quiet for a moment.

“God, Cain.” Mara sniffled.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Cain’s throat tightened.

“You never do.”

Cain pressed his fingers to his forehead, trying to keep his tears at bay, “I guess I was just calling to thank you.”

“Thank me?”

“Yeah, for not murdering me when I was so fucking idiotic.”

Mara’s laugh made him feel light. It was a bit out of control, and he could hear the emotion. But it made him feel lighter.

“It was a true burden at times, believe me.”

“Yeah, I can imagine.” Cain pushed back his hair, “I miss you Mara.”

“I miss you too.” She sobbed and huffed a laugh, “It was never about missing you.”

“I know.” Cain whispered, thinking of all the times Dean missing Sam.

“Next Tuesday. Lunch. You show up two minutes late, I walk.”

Cain nodded, “Does Aqua work?”

“Yeah, but you’re paying.”

Cain laughed, “Of course.” They said their goodbyes, and Cain hung up the phone. His body felt light, he couldn’t quite believe that had happened.

He slipped back into Colette’s embrace, and went to sleep easy with his unsipped coffee on the bedside table.

Chapter Text

“Hello!” Dean called, walking into Cas’s house with a fancy suitcase that Colette gave him to use. Dean had a level six sort of day, so Colette and Cain had helped him pack his bag. Dean thought Colette would do most of the packing, but Cain had a lot of opinions as well. They knew all about what clothes to wear in certain 'social circles'. Dean did not care as long as they threw a few flannels to wear at the end of the day. Tomorrow was a big day since he was going on an airplane; he couldn’t quite believe it was happening. Nothing would talk him out of going with Cas, but it didn’t mean that it wasn’t scary.

Cas had become more somber the closer they got to New Years. It was like he was slowly drawing into himself. Dean was trying to reassure him, but he wasn't sure how. It was the first time their dynamic had shifted to Dean trying to take care of Cas, and he felt a bit unprepared. He talked to Missouri about it as well. She kept encouraging Dean to confront Cas about it, but Dean was a bit too nervous to try. 

“How’s it hangin’ Dean-o?” Gabe asked, peaking his head around the corner.

“Checked my list twice, so hopefully I brought everything.” He motioned to his suitcase.

“Don’t worry, they won’t like you no matter what.” Ana said, completely unhelpfully as she stared at her phone. Dean’s stomach flipped over. Gabe elbowed her, “What? They won’t. No offense meant, Dean.”

“It would probably be more offensive if they liked you.” Gabriel argued.

“Where is Cas?”

“Finishing up a doctor call.” Ana said, locking her phone and putting it down, “Dinner is on its way.”

That was one of the weirder things to get used to, hanging out with the Novaks, they never cooked. They had a big fancy kitchen and Dean only ever saw Gabe use it to bake. Dean had come over only a handful of times, but each one involved Uber Eats. It became very clear that it was part of their routine because they didn’t have the items in their kitchen to serve a dinner. Most of the time, the excuse was that Gabriel was always baking anyway so there wasn’t space to cook as well. Which was true. It was currently covered in icing and racks of cooling cupcakes. 

Gabriel was using his phone on a tripod to film some of the cupcakes he made.

“What is that for?” Dean asked.

“Tiktok.” Gabe said with a smile, “Gotten a following. It has really boosted my online sales.”

“Isn’t that just a bunch of kids dancing?” Dean asked

“If you put in the work, you can find a lot of fun niches. There are male omegas on tiktok that are having really good conversations too. People don’t like to talk about us because we go against ‘traditional male gender roles’” He used quotes, then rolled his eyes, “Christ, Cas has gotten me using air quotes now too.”

“I do what I can.” Castiel said seriously from the doorway. Dean perked up, smiling as he walked into the kitchen.

“I’ll send you along some videos.” Gabriel said, “But you also got some other homework to do before we leave tomorrow.” He plopped down the black binder in front of Dean.

“What is this?” Dean asked.

“I am Emily and you are Andy.” Gabriel told him, flipping open the binder. On the front page was a picture of Nick Angel, with a little blurb underneath. Under alias, Gabriel had written Satan, “Everyone you will see over New Years and what I think about all of them.”

“Gabriel.” Castiel warned, his body tense.

“Better send him in prepared.” Gabriel had a hard tone in his voice, which was uncharacteristic of the usual up beat baker.

“But he doesn’t need to know all this shit.” Cas argued.

“Yes, he does. For two reasons. One, he needs to know what mine fields he is walking through. Two, to better help you.” The two brothers looked over to Ana.

“I agree with Gabriel.”

“Anyone c-care what I think?” Dean asked lightly.

“Course I do.” Castiel said, his shoulders immediately falling and his chest deflating a bit. 

“Then I would rather g-go in prepared.” Dean answered.

“Alrighty. So, quick overview—Naomi is our mom, she’s a narcissistic bitch.” Gabriel started.

“Gas lighting manipulative narcissistic bitch.” Ana tacked on.

“Dad is out of the picture. Left after Ana was born.” Gabe said, he looked to Dean who nodded slowly. He didn’t know that, but had a feeling since Cas never talked about him, “He carried me, Ana and Cas. Mom carried Michael and Nick.” Dean tried not to look at Castiel, who was tensing back up.

“Explains why they are the devil incarnate.” Ana said seriously, “Here is a picture of Naomi in case you don’t know what she looks like.” Ana flipped to the photo of her. The blurb under her image was mostly curse words—and a curse back to the pits which she had come from. Dean didn’t have time to read it before she flipped the page again to an older man.

“Zachariah is the step Dad from hell, avoid at all costs.” Gabriel had drawn devil horns and an evil mustache over his picture, “He will purposefully try to piss you off.” Cas looked like he was going to say something, but decided against it.

“He probably got background information on you and will use it against you.” Ana said.

“What?” Dean looked up at her.

“We’re rich and can afford to spend money to ruin other people’s lives.” Gabriel said, “He will have a dossier on you, which is why it’s important to remember that he will try to make you uncomfortable. Be prepared for comments about how you grew up poor. How it’s quaint you work on cars—that sort of thing.”

“He is the CFO of Angel Corporation. A massive dick.” Ana stuck out her tongue at the picture.

“For you, public enemy number one will be Anna.” Gabriel flipped over to a picture of a beautiful woman hugging Naomi, “Naomi wants Cas to mate her.”

“I don’t like her.” Cas rubbed his face and looked exhausted. The conversation was clearly upsetting him, but Dean didn’t really want to stop Gabriel and Ana. He needed to know the information. The front door bell sounded, “I’ll get it.”

“It’s the food.” Ana told him as he walked out the door.

“Does your family know about me?” Dean asked.

“They know you’re coming.” Ana answered evasively.

It was silent as the dots clicked together. Besides Ana and Gabe, none of Castiel's family knew they were dating. Or knew about him at all. His stomach lurched and his mouth felt dry. 

Dean looked at Gabriel who was staring back at him, “Castiel thinks he is protecting you.”

“He’s feeding m-me to the wolves.” Dean countered.

“You don’t have to come.” Castiel said as he came back into the room, holding the bag of food.

“Are you intentionally setting this up for me to fail?” Dean asked.

Castiel blanched, “No!”

“We will just—get our food and see you tomorrow morning.” Ana said. She grabbed their meals from the bag and handed it to Gabe. It was awkwardly quiet and tense as Dean seethed, waiting for them to walk away.

“Does your family know we are dating?” Dean asked point blank.

“No.” Dean felt like he had been punched in the gut. He actually took a step backward.

“B-because you a-are ashamed of m-me?” He might vomit.

“No! Because they’re horrible. Gabriel wasn’t lying—Zachariah will have used his PI to get information on you. My brothers will no doubt make crass comments about your secondary gender. My mother will make passive aggressive comments about how you are not worthy to be my partner. Did I want to protect you from that by not telling them? Yes.” Cas scowled, pushing over Dean’s container of food.

Dean could feel the emotion in his throat, be he forced himself to take a breath. But, he could hear Missouri in his head, coaching him through it, “Here is the thing, Castiel.” Dean made sure to take another deep breath, “I do not feel protected. I feel like I’m being squirreled away in a closet somewhere. It feels like shame. Especially considering what would have happened if I found out in front of your family that they didn’t know I am your boyfriend. And I understand that your intention is to protect me from them, but the result is me being let out to dry.

“You dove head first into all my family bullshit, and I fully expect to do the same. If I tell you that I cannot handle your family, then I will not attend your family functions. And we can have that conversation if you feel like that is ok. But right now, you are deciding for me. And I don’t like that.”

“I never meant to make you feel ashamed. I am ashamed of my family, not the other way around.” Castiel growled.

“I know that now. But it doesn’t negate how I feel.” Dean argued, proud of himself for trying to use the language Missouri taught him. There was another thing nagging at him, so he steeled himself a little more before he said it, “We don’t talk about our age difference, but I can’t help but wonder if this is part of it. Would you feel the need to protect me so much if I was your age?” Castiel looked shell shocked, like he hadn’t considered that at all.

Cas stared down at the box of food, “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. You can think about it.” Dean said positively, “It is something I have thought about. Your age gives privileges, and power, compared to me. I feel empty when I see you hurting, but don't let me help. I can see this has been a struggle for you. I can't help ease your burden if you won't let me. You have done the same for me, I want to do it for you. But I will need an answer on whether you want me to go tomorrow. It feels like a big step, and obviously I don’t want to make it an ultimatum—but I want to be on the same page if we go there together because it looks like your family will find out our weak points and exploit them.”

Cas put down his fork, which he wasn’t using to eat his food anyway and walked out of the kitchen. Dean frowned, staring at the counter top. He looked back up to see if Cas came back in, but he heard a door shut. It wasn’t slammed, so that was a good thing. But it was clear Cas wasn’t coming back. Dean wasn’t quite sure what to do. He wanted to give Cas time to think, but he didn’t think Cas would just walk away without responding.

Dean felt his stomach flip and his face was a bit red. He wasn’t sure what to do, if Cas was coming back. He sat there for what felt like forever, but the clock hardly moved.

Dean grabbed his food, opening the meatballs and eating them. Stress eating always left him feeling drained and never full. He ate in slow bites, trying to force his body to remember that he was eating. He just went through the motions, not really tasting anything. Eventually he finished his food and cleaned up the food bags. He put Cas’s food away in the refrigerator, then went back and sat down at the island.

He must have sat there awhile, because Gabriel walked in.

“Dean? I thought you left with Cas.”

“He left?” Dean asked, looking up.

“Oh shit.” Gabe’s shoulders fell, “Yeah, saw his car go out the driveway an hour ago.”

Dean’s stomach dropped. His shoulders fell and his mouth felt too dry.

“Yeah—think I’ll just go home.” Dean stood up.

“I can call him.” Gabriel said, pulling out his phone.

“I gave him a lot to think about, and I guess I got my answer.” Dean felt like his throat was burning. He couldn’t swallow. Dean grabbed his suitcase which was still by the steps, pulling it out to his car in a daze.

“Dean, are you sure? You can stay here.” Gabriel stood awkwardly by his car.

“Yeah, I don’t th-think I w-want to-to do that.” Dean answered, not sure what he wanted to do. Should he text Cas? He hadn’t even known he was gone until Gabe told him. Would that be weird? Did he care?

“Are you coming tomorrow?” Gabe asked.

“I-I don’t kn-know.”

“Ok.” Gabriel huffed.

“Gabe—”

“Not mad at you, mad at Cassie.” Gabe said, holding his hands up, “I pick you in the divorce.” That made Dean crack a smile.

“See ya.” Dean said, hopping into his car.

It was a long thirty-minute drive back to his place. He nearly caved several times and called Cas, but that felt unfair to force him into an answer when he clearly didn’t want to talk.

“Dean?” Colette and Cain were sitting on the couch watching a movie.

“Did you forget something?” Colette asked.

“C-Cas and I fought. He d-drove off so now I’m here.” Dean said, abandoning his suitcase and walking over to the couch. Colette pulled him down into her lap as he collapsed against her.

“Did you break up?” Colette asked, running her fingers through his hair.

“I don’t know.” Dean answered.

“You want whiskey?” Cain asked.

“That’d be great.” Dean said with a sigh, he was too numb to feel anything.

“Want to talk about it?” Colette asked, her fingers felt lovely.

“Not much to talk about. I said my piece just like Missouri taught me and told him that he could have space to respond. He drove off.”

“So you drove off?” Colette asked.

“I waited around for a while—I didn’t realize he left. Then I felt awkward, so I left.”

“Do you want to text him that you’re here if he is ready to talk?”

“Not pushy?”

“No, keeping him informed isn’t pushy. Especially if he just expected you to stay.” Cain said, Dean scrunched his nose, “Not saying you should have—just letting him know.”

Dean sighed, but pulled out his phone. He pulled up Cas’s number, typing in quick that he was back home for whenever Cas was ready to talk.

“Do I unpack?”

“Wait till you hear from him.”

“Ok.” Dean handed his phone to Cain, “So I don’t obsessively stare at it.”

Cain chuckled, trading his phone for a low ball of whiskey. They were watching Ozarks, midway through a season. Dean hadn’t watched any of it, but it didn’t really matter. He wasn’t paying too much attention as Colette kept running her fingers through his hair. He got a bit sleepy, letting his eyes flutter shut. In his mind, he kept running over the conversation wondering if he should have said things differently. He was proud of himself for speaking up.

Dean listened for his phone to vibrate with a text, but it never came. He let the disappointment settle in his chest, feeling a bit loose in the wind.

The sound of the garage door opening made him open his eyes. He sat up and stared over the back of the couch to see Cas walk in through the door. He looked tired, his face red.

“Hello Dean.” His voice was more gravely than usual.

“Cas.” Dean acknowledged.

“Can we talk?”

“Yeah.” Dean hopped up, moving around the island to walk back into the house. Usually he would go outside, but it was a bit too chilly at night to do that. He walked back to Cain’s office. He didn’t want to talk in his bedroom, it was too raw to be in his nest. Cain’s office wasn’t necessarily neutral ground, but he felt stronger in it.

“Thank you for giving me time to think.” Dean nodded, bracing himself for the next bit. Because he was always too much in the end. Not omega enough, “I have not been fair to you, and for that I do apologize." Dean was shaking a bit from adrenalin, fear was pulsing through him. His ribs felt too tight. He couldn't believe this was the end. Cas contineud on, "I thought if I simply acted like we were the same age, it would be so. By not even acknowledging it, I was holding power in our dynamic and that was not fair. Twelve years is not nothing.” Cas rubbed his arm, “Obviously power dynamics are kinda a rough point for me.”

Dean winced, “Didn’t think about that, I didn’t really hold anything back.”

“You are right. Protecting you from my problems might be because you're young. I didn't consciously realize I was doing it, but I didn't want to add to your burdens. And in doing so, I made my attitude your problem. Then I realized when I got a frantic call from Gabe that I ran right into your abandonment issues by driving off.”

Dean took a sharp breath, wrapping his arms around himself, “I didn't realize you even left until Gabe told me. I waited for you to come back.” Cas looked like Dean had punched him. He looked away and it was silent. It wasn't necessarily uncomfortable, but it was tense. Dean wasn't sure what to say. 

Cas looked back to Dean and cleared his throat, “Next time, I promise I will tell you I am coming back as soon as I leave. I promise. I’ll give you a time frame, and if I need more than that I swear I will let you know.”

“N-next time?” Dean asked.

“Assuming we fight again.” Cas blushed bright red.

“Y-you’re not breaking up with me?” Dean asked.

“No—are you breaking up with me?” Castiel asked. Dean shook his head. Castiel took a deep breath, stepping into Dean’s personal space. Dean saw it as an offering, as hope that Dean would forgive him. Dean took a small step forward, closing the space even more, “I would like it if you came with me tomorrow. I know I have gone about this all the wrong way but I would like to have you there. Gabe and Ana have informed me that I will be intolerable otherwise and will come back depressed.”

“Is this a request from your pack or you?” Dean asked.

Cas grabbed Dean’s hand, “Me. And my pack. Please. It will be absolutely horrible and I apologize in advanced for everything they say to you. But it’s New Years and I want something to look forward to at midnight. Kissing you will be the only bright spot. I’m just hoping my mother doesn’t put us in separate rooms.”

“She would do that?”

“She is horrible when it suits her.”

“I’ll come. And d-deal with your hor-horrible mother. And you're equally as horrible family. Ok?”

“Ok.” Cas’s voice was low, drawing Dean in that bit of space to his lips. One of Cas’s hand threaded through Dean’s hair, melting the omega as he rubbed his fingers along the back of his neck, “I’m sorry.” He whispered into the next kiss.

“I am sorry too.” Dean said softly back.

“Can I take you back to my house so we can go to the airport ridiculously early all together?”

“Yes.” Dean smiled, kissing him again.

It felt a bit like the walk of shame getting his suitcase from the front door, and saying goodbye to Cain and Colette again. Castiel helped him put his suitcase in the truck, then they drove back to his place together.

Gabriel had a cupcake waiting for him when he walked in the door, which he took gratefully.

Dean had never spent the night in Cas’s place. It felt like more of a show house than a home, even though the pack had lived there a few years. But he did love the smells. Cas’s room smelled just like him. Dean didn’t even think about it before curling up in bed, pulling the duvet over his head.

“Nesting?” Cas asked with a smile in his voice. He had put on pajamas and was holding a well-worn John Hopkins sweatshirt. Dean grabbed it quickly, pulling the sweatshirt over his head.

“Smells so good.” He groaned, curling back up into bed.

“Going to leave space for me?” Castiel asked with a laugh. Dean grabbed his hand, pulling him into bed as well.

“When do we have to wake up?”

“5AM. Our flight leaves at 6:30.”

“Yuck.” Dean groaned.

“Hopefully you can sleep through it. First class seats are lovely.”

“I hate flying.”

“Drinks will be included.” Cas hummed, pulling Dean into his arms.

“Not showing up even slightly intoxicated to your family’s place. I need my wits about me.”

“We will have an hour-ish drive once we land. So you can drink in the beginning.” Cas said.

“Because of your house in the Hamptons.” Dean sneered.

“Not my house. My brothers. They have houses next door to one another because they don’t see each other enough during the day.” He wrinkled his nose.

“Why not live together?”

“Their partnership is toxic. They compete against each other just as much as they try to help one another.”

“Are they one pack?”

“I know better than to ask. Nick is CEO, so I think Michael is head of the pack—but I have never asked.”

“Do they have mates?”

“They do—and I grabbed the binder that Gabe made, so you can look through it again on the plane tomorrow. If you’d like.”

“I do like. He put a lot of effort into it.”

“I regret not asking him why he needed my printer.” Cas said with a chuckle.

“He put in a lot of effort to help me, Cas. I think that has to be commended.”

Cas let out a slow breath, squeezing Dean tighter, “But if I tell him that, he will be unbearable.” Dean laughed sleepily into his chest.

“I’ll wake you up tomorrow.” Dean murmured, kissing his chin. His scent was strongest right by the gland under his ear, Dean wanted to press his nose up against it but he resisted the urge. Engulfed in Cas’s scent, he fell asleep.

Ana, Cas and Dean moved to the car like a zombie the next morning. Cas was barely grunting answers.

“How did you survive the military?” Dean asked him as they climbed into the Uber to go to the airport.

“Hated it.” Cas grumbled, snuggling into Dean’s shoulder in the back of the Uber. The ride to the airport wasn’t bad since it was so early in the morning. Ana and Gabe had headphones in with extremely nice travel clothes. They looked comfortable, like going to the airport was just another day. For them, it probably was. Dean’s chest was too tight to go to sleep, so he focused on breathing in Cas’s scent and trying not to smell anxious. The closer they got to the airport, his stomach started flipping and swooping.

His phone vibrated, so he looked down to see a text from Bobby.

It will be ok.

The beta didn’t have to get up for another hour yet, so he had set an alarm to text Dean it would be ok on his way to the airport.

If I die, remember me fondly. Dean responded.

See you in four days, idgit.

Dean tried not to vomit when they pulled up and got out of the SUV. The driver helped them get their bags out, even though Dean tried to do it by himself. The last time he had been to the airport, it was when he was flying to Seattle for the first time.

They walked up to the kiosk to check in their bags. Dean’s hands were shaking when he showed the attendant his ID, but he didn’t think anyone noticed. His bag disappeared on the conveyer belt before he followed the rest of the group.

“Sir, you do not have TSA pre-check, so you need to go in this line.” Dean wanted to vomit at the thought of being separated from the group.

“O-ok.” Dean stuttered.

“I’ll wait for you on the other side of security.” Cas said. Dean nodded hastily, walking into the longer line. He kept an eye on Cas, watching him go through relatively quickly. It took him awhile to get to the front. His heart was racing as his backpack went through the conveyer belt and he was scanned in the stupid machine.

“You’re all good.” The TSA person said. He felt irrationally relieved at that, going to grab his stuff. He slipped his boots back on, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. Cas, Ana and Gabe stood not too far away, staring at their phones.

“You don’t have TSA pre-check Dean-o?” Gabe asked.

“Haven’t needed it.” Dean responded.

“God, I will never go to an airport without it.” Ana shook her head, “Because we can’t fly private anymore.”

Cas rolled his eyes, “Yes, only first class. The burdens we bear for being the outcasts.”

“At least this way we can get snacks from the airport.” Gabe said, “I’m going to get some—anyone else want anything?”

“Snacks sound good.” Dean said.

“I’m going to get breakfast.” Cas added, “You want anything Dean?”

“Just coffee.” Dean didn’t think he could eat anyway. He followed Gabe to get a few snacks, maybe later in his fight he would be able to eat. Probably not. But maybe.

They all met at the gate just a few minutes before boarding. Since they were first class, they were let on the plane right away. Dean liked that at least he could figure out his spot. He brought a thin throw from his nest, shoved down in the bottom of his backpack. Missouri suggested it as an idea to help him stay calm on the flight and with Cas’s family. Cas was in the seat next to him, Gabe and Ana across the isle. They were instantly asleep again; Dean envied their ease.

“You alright?” Cas asked.

“I hate flying.” Dean grumbled.

“I’ll hold your hand the whole time.” Cas said.

“You’re about to fall asleep now.” Dean complained.

“I can hold your hand in my sleep.” Cas protested.

Dean was a mess when they closed the gate. He couldn’t breathe. Cas took his hand in both of his, rubbing the scent gland on is wrist lightly, then pressing his fingers into his palms. Dean kept his eyes closed the entire take off. Every bump where his stomach dropped, Dean took a sharp breath.

“Here.” Cas pulled out the black binder from Dean’s backpack, “Let’s try to focus on other things that are hateful.”

Dean found it in him to quirk a smile, opening his eyes to see a picture of a man with the deepest ‘v’ on his shirt.

“Who is the posh guy?” Dean asked.

“Balthazar. We have been friends a long time—we went to boarding school together.” Dean couldn’t help but roll his eyes, “He is a reflection of his wealth, but not as horrible as the rest of my family.”

“A ringing endorsement.” Dean said with a smile.

“I usually hang out with him the entire time, try to stay away from my family.” Cas explained. He flipped the binder and scowled at the next photo, “This is Isaac. My ex-boyfriend.”

“Do I need to kneecap him?” Dean asked.

Cas snorted, “Maybe.” Dean was a bit intimidated by the picture. Isaac was small, demure. He looked like a proper omega, “He is a manipulative. Cheated on me. My mother loves him, of course.” Cas scowled. The description under his photo that Gabe wrote was will murder Cas if he even looks at this POS in a friendly way.

“Clearly not well liked by your pack.” Dean said with a small smile.

“I dated him too long. Gabe tried to tell me he was awful. I guess I didn’t see it until he was rude to Ana—then it was like the glass shattered and I realized how terrible he was. Started digging around—realized he was cheating on me and broke up with him a week later. In the end there was so little fanfare it was kinda pathetic.”

“Cas?”

“Yeah.”

“Why do you guys still talk to your family?” Cas took a sharp breath, his entire body tensing, “I’m not judging—obviously I ain’t got a lotta room to judge on that. I’m just—curious.”

Cas’s shoulders dropped, easing back into his seat, “They’re family. I’ve got many good memories of my brothers growing up. Michael helped me ride a bike. Nick taught me to climb trees. I know there is good in there somewhere. I just try to see them sometimes in hopes it comes back out. Or they could change. I changed. Cain changed.”

“Cain had to go through a lot to change.” Dean whispered, taking Cas’s hand. Cas stared at his lap.

“Military.” Was Castiel’s short response to the question Dean didn't ask, his eyes closed and his head fell back, “I—I don’t think I can say the story now, but I would like to tell you.” Dean nodded, enclosing Cas’s hand in his. He kissed Cas’s cheek.

“I would love to hear it.” Cas hummed, leaning into Dean a bit more.

“Well, Andy, you better get to studying that binder.” Cas said with a wink, changing the topic. Dean kissed Cas once more before going back to the binder for another look. He only had a few hours until landing and he wanted to make sure he knew it backwards and forwards before they arrived.

Chapter Text

Dean’s anxiety once they landed didn’t ease up. Once out of the flying death trap, they were in a luxury private car that was driving them to the Hamptons. Dean was very glad that Colette had picked out most of his clothing. As the large houses appeared out of the hills, he was feeling woefully inadequate. Not that he wanted to care about all the nonsense anyway, but it was painfully obvious how easily the Novaks seamlessly fit in.

They expected the driver to grab their stuff. They expected snacks and water bottles in the tricked-out Range Rover. They expected a freakin' Range Rover to pick them up from the airport. Dean was marveling at the detail work. Not as good as his own work, in his professional opinion. But solid.

“You do this yourself?” Dean asked the driver, pointing to the leather work on the interior.

“No sir, my brother got a spot out on the island. I’m not bad with cars and I can take care of ‘em. But he can do all the fancy shit.”

“I work in cars too, mostly interior work to trick out luxury vehicles. I restore some as well.”

“You gotta guy to help ya?”

Dean laughed, “I am the guy. It’s how I met him.” Dean pointed to Cas, “I restored one of his classic vehicles.”

“Ya got pictures?” He asked. Dean pulled out his phone as they were at a traffic light and showed him a few, “Holy shit!” The driver, Jerry as Dean found out through conversation, had a lot of nice things to say about Dean’s work. They chatted on, distracting Dean from his nerves.

They pulled into a massive house and Dean’s jaw dropped. Compound was probably a better word. It looked like a resort, sprawled out over the stretch of land.

“This place is Nick’s.” Gabe told Dean, “The one over that hedge is Michael’s.” Dean could only see the roof of the house next door.

“Jesus.” Dean mumbled, hopping out of the vehicle. He stretched his legs a bit. He thanked Jerry for helping him with his suitcase.

“Can I get a picture with ya? My brother is hounding me. Doesn’t believe I got Dean Winchester in the car. Dude, you’re a legend in the car world.” Dean flushed bright red.

“S-sure.” Dean said with a laugh, leaning in quickly for a photo.

“Tellin’ you, my brother is over the moon right now. Loves your work.”

“Dean, you’re famous.” Gabe said with a smile.

“Don’t be jealous.” Dean retorted.

“You guys have a happy New Year.” Jerry said, hopping back into the car.

“Happy New Year.” Dean replied as they walked up to the house.

Dean didn’t know what he expected when he walked in, but it wasn’t silence. The entryway was marble with beautiful furnishings. The entire place looked extremely modern, with natural wood accent pieces and gorgeous black finishes.

“Ready or not, here we come!” Gabriel yelled out.

“Honestly, Gabriel, when are you going to grow up?” Naomi asked. Pictures did not do her justice. Her commanding presence nearly took the breath out of Dean’s lungs, “Ah, so you did bring a little friend.” Naomi didn’t even try to hide the up and down she gave Dean. Dean wanted to laugh at how ridiculous it was; he couldn’t believe she was so blatant, “Why do you insist on collecting broken things, Castiel?”

Dean couldn’t help but snort a laugh. Ana and Gabe both looked at him like he was nuts but covered it quickly. This—this was the worst she could do? It felt like high school all over again.

“Dean Winchester.” Dean held out his hand. She glanced at it for a second, raised a brow but did shake his hand.

“A male omega.” She looked at Castiel.

Dean took a breath. Missouri taught him how to make boundaries, “Lady, we can either fight about this or we can put our bags in our room. Option one got a lotta hurt feelings, option two is probably easier for everyone. Don’t matter to me. Which one do you want to do?” She looked like the wind had been taken out of her sails. Missouri was right. People who were passive aggressive like Naomi didn’t do well with direct confrontation.

“Fine. I will show you to your rooms.”

“Wow. You’re my new favorite.” Gabriel said to Dean.

“Who was your favorite before?” Dean asked, following Naomi up the stairs.

“Charli. She made my TikTok go viral.” Dean laughed.

“Dean, this is your room.” Naomi pointed. Dean was already prepared for this one.

“Cas?”

“Castiel will sleep down in his room.” Naomi corrected.

“I gotta sleep with Cas. My frail omega-ness makes me twitchy if I get too far.” Dean didn’t think it was possible for her face to get any cloudier, but it did. She scowled, huffing as they walked down the hallway. Dean glanced at Cas, but his face was blank.

“I will leave you all to settle into your rooms. Dinner is at seven thirty.” Naomi walked passed them backed toward the stairs, disappearing.

“You’re my hero.” Ana kissed his cheek.

“Never seen Naomi so thrown back. God that was awesome.” Gabriel giggled to himself, opening a bedroom door, “Well, I’m getting a nap before dinner.”

“Same.” Ana said, “See you guys at dinner.”

Cas dragged him down the hallway a bit further to a door, pushing it open.

“See ya.” Dean said. The room was actually really wonderful and smelled like Cas. It was a deep green color with huge windows, “Sorry if I overstepped, Cas.” Dean apologized, feeling a bit nervous now.

Cas shut the door, pushing the suitcases in the room.

And then Dean was attacked.

Cas slammed him up against the wall, kissing him so hard it nearly hurt. Before Dean could even catch his breath, Cas was on his knees. When Cas pulled him out and swallowed him before Dean’s brain really had the chance to get on board let alone his cock.

“Jesus.” Dean hissed, rapidly getting with the program. His head thunked back against the wall as he quickly grew hard. It was nearly too painful, the stimulation too much. Dean couldn’t help it as his hips twitched, grasping onto Cas’s hair. Castiel’s strong hands grasped his hips and pushed them into the wall, making it nearly impossible to move. The onslaught was relentless. Dean was whining low in his throat, not sure what to grip onto. Before too long, he was begging and he wasn’t exactly sure what for.

“Alpha” Dean groaned endlessly, “Pleasepleaseplease.” He wanted to crawl up the wall. He couldn’t catch his breath. The pleasure was so intense that when he came, he couldn’t help but let out a yell. One hand was still buried in Cas’s hair, but it wasn’t forcing the alpha to do anything.

Dean would be damned if Castiel didn’t swallow every last drop.

But the omega inside him still was begging for more.

“Mark me alpha, please.” Dean begged as he pulled Cas up. The alpha rutted against his hip.

“Get on the bed.” Cas’s voice was raspy and deep. Dean was nearly frantic as he pulled off his sweatshirt and undershirt all in one go. He tossed it to the side and flopped back on the bed. Those strong thighs on either side of Dean’s hips made him want to melt. Dean couldn’t get it up again so soon, but fuck if he didn’t want to.

“Please alpha.” Dean was desperate. Cas was fisting his cock quickly, “Alpha.” Dean growled again, and Cas started to come all over him. He started to purr uncontrollably, riding out Cas’s waves as the alpha partially collapsed on top of him. His cock was softening as Cas kissed Dean’s cheeks, nose and then lips.

Cas stayed there for a while, letting their breath even out and pressing his lips against Dean’s.

“You ok?” Cas asked.

“Hm.” Dean hummed, feeling the light headedness of omegaspace, but nothing too strong.

“You are perfect.” Cas told him, kissing his cheek again, wrapping his arms tightly around Dean and pulling them close. His grip was so tight, it nearly hurt Dean.

“You alright with me pushing back to your family, I take it?” Dean asked with a grin, the squeeze from his alpha got a bit tighter before it loosened again.

“Yes.” Cas mumbled into Dean’s neck, “I don’t think I can. But you doing it—” Cas trailed off a bit, humming affirmatively. Dean chuckled, running his fingers up to the nape of Cas’s neck and pulling him back a bit. The alpha looked as blissed out as Dean felt. Dean leaned in and kissed him. They broke apart again, and Cas settled back into Dean’s arms. Dean felt himself drifting off soon after that.  

Dean blinked awake. He knew he hadn’t slept for very long, but he didn’t want to take a very long nap anyway. Looking at the window, the sun setting. Cas ran his fingers down Dean’s side, pulling him close and Dean hummed.

“You sleep?” Dean asked, his voice rough.

“No, but I feel better.” Cas responded softly next to his ear.

“Want to walk on the beach?” Dean asked.

“S’cold.” Cas replied.

“I have never touched the Atlantic.” Dean confessed.

"Technically it's a bay because of the island off the coast." Cas said with a soft smile, which made Dean narrow his eyes, "You're right, let's go touch the Atlantic." Cas chuckled, “I don’t think it’s too cold outside anyway. Kinda moderate for this time of year.” Dean threw back on his discarded shirt and sweater. He felt a little gross, but he didn’t want to wipe off his alpha’s scent.

Cas pulled him up off the bed, wrapping him in his arms and kissing his lips, “I want you to stay marked and get clean all at the same time.” Dean barked a laugh into his lips, pulling Cas even closer.

“Same.” Dean didn’t clean himself off. When he went to the bathroom, his omega instincts went a little haywire, and he was learning to trust them a bit more. So he would just have to smell a bit more like Cas. 

Before they walked outside, Cas told a member of the staff that they were ready to have their bags unpacked for them. Dean couldn’t believe a home had staff—and that they would be unpacking his boxers. Dean tried to get Cas to stop so he could handle it himself, but it was too late.

They walked outside and Dean felt more comfortable. At least outside he wasn’t completely out of his element. They took off their shoes by the back gate and Dean rolled up his khaki’s so they wouldn’t get too sandy. The beach was cold, and the wind was just a little too much. But it was still beautiful. Dean couldn’t help but put his toes into the water. He gasped.

“Fuck, that’s cold!” Dean exclaimed.

“It’s December in New York! What did you expect?” Cas asked with a laugh, pulling Dean close.

“Not for my toes to fall off! Fuck!” Dean cried out, but still laughed, “I’d love to see this in the summer.”

Cas scowled, “Not here.”

“Well obviously not here.” Dean waved to the house, “But maybe east coast somewhere we can be at the beach. I always liked the families that rented big houses so their whole pack could stay with them. We could do that.”

Cas smiled, kissing Dean chastely as they walked down the cold beach, “You’d have to plan the food.”

Dean scoffed, “Of course I would, don’t be ridiculous.” He smiled at the water, “Andrea and the pup would like the beach.” Cas hummed his agreement.

“Charli would hate it. She would be too far from her technology.” Cas said, smiling.

“We could get Ana to convince her with a bikini.” Dean grinned.

“Gross. That’s my sister.” Cas shoved Deana bit, making Dean laugh. Dean shivered a bit in the wind, huddling close to his alpha again.

“I think this Kansas boy needs to get back inside.” Cas snorted, holding his hand as they walked back inside. They walked inside the sunroom where there was a large fire in the fireplace.

“Sit. I will go get us something to drink.” Cas kissed Dean’s head, leaving him plopped down in front of the fire place. Dean propped up his feet on the ottoman, closer to the flames. A glass of wine was placed on the side table.

“That was fast.” Dean turned around to see not Cas standing behind him, “Nick.” His heart leaped in his chest. 

“Dean Winchester.” Nick said easily back, sitting down in the chair next to him. Dean's breath was too shallow, he couldn't get enough oxygen, “I can give you three million to walk away from my brother now.” His first reaction was to scowl and not respond. But he let out a slow breath, trying to channel is inner Missouri. 

“How d-do you know I won’t j-just take the money and keep fucking h-him?” Dean asked. His heart was beating in his throat. Where was Cas? He took the wine glass and had a sip to calm his nerves. He didn’t like wine too much, but at this point anything helped.

“Two now, two in a year. And my assurance that I won’t launch a smear campaign.” Nick's body was relaxed, like this was a conversation about the Mets. Dean took that to mean that maybe he shouldn't take anything he was saying that seriously either. 

Dean snorted, “Keep your money, Nick.”

Nick narrowed his eyes, “Five.”

“Wow. I just nearly d-doubled my first offer in the first three minutes. I didn’t think I was t-that good at haggling.” Dean grinned into his wine glass, “Cain Knight is my alpha. I’m n-not here-here for m-money.”

“So my brother is a side piece?” Nick growled, his body demeanor changed. Like he was poised to pounce.

“Cain isn’t ro-romantic. I’m p-part of Cain’s pack.”

Nick stared at Dean like he was trying to pull apart every layer and recalculate, he moving back into the couch a bit, “I don’t suppose you can get him to work for me again?”

Dean barked a too loud laugh, completely surprised by the question, “No.”

Nick sighed dramatically, relaxing back into his chair, “Bleeding hearted liberal. Turned into a crunchy hipster when I blinked my eyes. I got a dozen lawsuits because of him.”

Dean raised a brow, “You s-sound like you sti-ill like him.”

“Of course, I do. He’s the best. I get off on legal floor play.” The answer shocked a laugh out of Dean. He wasn’t sure what he expected out of Nick, but it wasn’t someone charming. Even if he disagreed with everything he said. He suddenly realized why it was so easy for Cain to work for him for years. For Cas to struggle to let go of his family. They were likeable.

“Hm, I see you found your own drink.” Castiel said, holding two bottles of a light beer. Dean quickly swapped his wine glass for beer.

“N-Nick here was offering me m-money to get away from you.” Dean said.

“Did you take it?”

“I was negotiating.” Dean confessed with a grin, making Cas smile back at him.

“Castiel, it is good to see you.” Nick stood up, hugging Cas tightly. It was the kind of hug Dean missed getting from his own brother. It took a moment before the broke apart. Cas sat down next to Dean in the love seat, “Your either brave or idiotic for coming here.” Nick told Dean.

“Both.” Dean confessed, which made Nick laugh.

“You meet Mom yet?”

Dean nodded. Cas wrapped an arm around him, “She tried to have us sleep in separate rooms. Dean claimed his omega clinginess meant we had to sleep together.” Nick’s laugh was loud and boisterous.

Unfortunately, the drinks with Nick made Dean relax and forget he should be anxious about dinner. An actual butler came in to announce that dinner would be served soon. The three made their way to the dining room. Everyone was already waiting for them, standing by their chairs. The room was tense. Ana was scowling at her plate. Gabriel was drinking out of a cocktail glass with a long crazy straw, which he had clearly brought for the expressed purpose of pissing off his mother who was already glaring at him.

“Nice of you to finally join us.” Naomi stated.

“Was just getting to know Dean a bit better.” Nick said, kissing his mother’s cheek before joining Michael and his mate on the other side of the table. It felt like a board room. Nick, Michael, his mate and Naomi on one side with Castiel, Gabriel, Ana and Dean on the other.

“At least tomorrow is a party so we won’t have to do this again, right?” Gabriel said cheerfully.

“Gabriel.” Naomi hissed, “Seen, not heard.”

“Do you want me to act like an alpha? Or be an omega? Can’t be both, my darling mother.” Gabriel said lightly, but his body was tense.

“Dinner is ready.” Castiel said loudly, motioning for the staff to start serving.

“Plus, half the table is omegas. It would make for an awkward dinner.” Gabriel said, “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m assuming since you mated the spawn of Satan, you’re not a fan.” He looked at Michael’s mate expectantly.

“This is Lilith. I am sure you saw it in the paper.” Michael answered

“We did not invite you to the wedding.” She replied sternly, her eyes flashing.

Gabriel laughed, “I wouldn’t have sent a gift anyway.”

“And why did you not come, Castiel?” Lilith asked, “There were quite a few omegas there for you to choose from.” Dean wanted to growl, but managed to refrain.

“Were any of them Dean? Because if they weren’t, he wouldn’t be interested.” Ana said with a grin that looked like she wanted to eat her.

“Sorry I am late, but some of us have a business to run.” Zachariah walked in, plopping down in the empty chair at the head of the table.

“With the amount I pay you, you better be running it.” Nick said with a carefree smile. His body was relaxed, like he was used to swimming in shark infested waters all the time.

“You should barely pay me anything. I need stock options.” Zach glared. Nick smiled like he didn’t know what the man was talking about, but he definitely did, “And you did end up bringing the defunct omega with you? Castiel, I expected better from you.”

“He didn’t take my offer to leave.” Nick said, eating a bite of his steak. Dean wasn’t sure how anyone could eat with the tennis match going on in front of them, “I went up to five.”

Michael growled, “That was more than what we agreed.”

Nick shrugged, “I could tell he wasn’t going to go for less.”

“What would it take for you to leave?” Michael’s omega asked bluntly.

“Leave this place? Or l-leave Cas?” Dean asked. His heart felt like it was going to explode out of his chest.

“L-leave Cas.” Zachariah mocked, “And here. Both, preferably.”

“Uh, n-not going to leave Castiel.” Dean said slowly. The glass shattering made Dean jump. Naomi had broken her water glass on the floor.

“Did you throw that on the ground?” Gabriel asked her in shock.

“I will not tolerate this insolent behavior.” Naomi snapped, glaring at Dean like it was his fault, “You need to be seen, not heard.” Dean raised a brow and looked over to Gabriel. He pulled out another crazy straw.

“Want one?”

“Sure.” Dean said, plopping it in his beer. It would make his drink taste terrible, but worth it to piss of Naomi.

“Do you have more?” Nick asked. Gabriel looked surprised by the question, but did hand over another straw.

The entire evening was tense. A contentious topic would come up and Dean would watch everyone say either aggressive or passive aggressive comments to one another. He could barely eat, waiting for another attack. Sometimes Naomi or Zach would blame him or more often Gabriel for the entire argument, which always seemed absurd.

Castiel just sat quietly and ate like nothing was going on around him. Dean envied his ability to just completely disassociate. Everyone had some sort of mask that they wore. Nick was so laissez faire that Dean thought his heart rate couldn’t have elevated once in the evening. Gabriel just kept trying to pull pranks. He had hidden a fart machine in the dining room at some point earlier in the day, and kept turning it on. Naomi would throw things whenever she wanted everyone to stare at her—and had gone through three water glasses and two plates that evening. Ana just stared at her phone, playing Candy Crush with the sound on just to annoy everyone. Michael was the perfect child, listening to everything Naomi and Zachariah said and agreeing with their every word. And Zachariah took every opportunity to bring everyone down a peg. Even Naomi.

As soon as dessert was served, Dean used it as an excuse to go to bed. He wanted out. Cas said he would be up soon, and Dean practically sprinted out of the room. It was a bit rude since he was a guest to be the first one to leave the table, but he absolutely could not take the tension anymore. He closed the door to their room and sighed, finally feeling like he could breathe.

Since he didn’t explore the room earlier, he walked over to the huge bay windows to see a gorgeous view of the ocean. The moon was coming up over the water, making everything look peaceful. Dean turned back to the room, which had more of Castiel’s things than he had expected. There were pictures and quirks that he was used to seeing of his alpha. There were several pictures of him in uniform, so Dean gravitated to those. It was strange to see Cas so young, the wrinkles around his eyes hadn’t formed yet but Dean could tell they were starting to.

One of the pictures made Dean pause. Castiel’s arm was wrapped around a man, both with large smiles on their faces. They were in their fatigues, their names stitched on Velcro patches on the front. Cas had the name Angel on his—so it was before he changed his last name. But the man next to him had the name Novak. They looked eerily alike. Dean thought they looked like siblings way more than any of Cas’s actual siblings. He couldn’t help but take the picture off the wall. Questions popped up faster than he could think of them. Why did Cas have this man’s last name? Were they married? Cas didn’t say he had been married before. Why hadn’t Dean ever heard Cas talk about him?

The door opened making Dean jump. He panicked, not sure if Cas would get mad. He wasn’t snooping since it was on the wall.

“Ah.” Cas said, looking at the photo that Dean was looking at.

“I’m sorry.” Dean squeaked, “I was just looking at the pictures—I shouldn’t have.”

“Dean, it was hanging on the wall.” Castiel pointed out with a sigh, which wasn’t exactly comforting.

“Who is he?” Dean asked. Castiel was drinking out of a low-ball glass that had amber liquid in it. He threw back the rest, and grabbed a decanter of more that was on the dresser. He poured himself some more. Dean was tense.

“Jimmy was an army buddy. We were deployed in the same battalion. He wasn’t an army doctor, but I traveled with his unit.” Cas took a large gulp and sat down next to Dean on the bed, “We originally drifted together because we looked so similar. Everyone called us doppelgangers. We just—we came together like two puzzle pieces. He was the best friend that I didn’t know that I needed. I was ridiculously set on achievement, striving for success by the definition my mother had given me.”

“He made me come out and party. Our friends used to joke that he made me fun. He got me to drink for the first time—actually drink, not just have one bottle of beer. He taught me how to throw darts and actually have a good time. There is a lot of down time, so we learned to play a lot of games together.”

Dean knew where the story was going. Too much past tense verbiage. He was a bit nervous, but he took Castiel’s hand. The alpha didn’t pull away so he figured it was ok.

“Combat has a way of bringing two people together. I felt like I knew him as well as I knew myself.” Cas’s voice was devoid of emotion, but his body held all of it. Dean thought he might break apart.

“What happened?” Dean asked.

“IED. Routine route. Senseless violence. I was in the truck with him. I was in the front, he was in the back. One minute we’re talking and the next—” Cas’s voice cut off, he stared at the picture of the two of them, “The guy sitting next to him lost his leg. I tried—” This time Castiel’s voice cracked. Dean squeezed his hand, “Tried to stop the bleeding.” His voice turned back into his detached medical voice, “Tourniquet to his leg. Injuries to his arm were superficial, to assess at a later time. Debry and injury to the face and right eye. More problematic, but also not life threatening. Right leg was gone. Blood pooling in abdomen. I couldn’t find—” He took breath.

“He always said he had an angel watching over him.” Cas said, his voice sounded hallow, “His last words were my name. Just Castiel.” The alpha closed his eyes and wiped his face, “Couldn’t bear my last name after that. I didn’t deserve it. So, I finished up my deployment and then left the army. Came back here, I was a wreck. Nick let me stay here and recover. Didn’t force me to find a job or socialize. But Mom was here—trying to make me be the alpha she wanted me to be. I—couldn’t breathe. I barely knew what I was doing, but I bought a plane ticket to see Gabriel. I just—I needed to laugh. I found him in need of an alpha. I filed the paperwork to change my name and never bought a flight back to the east coast.”

“Did Jimmy have any family?” Dean asked.

“Wife and daughter.” Castiel confirmed.

“Do they know?”

Cas nodded, “Talked to her a few times. She let me take some of his clothes since—” He didn’t need them was left unsaid, “I asked her if she minded if I changed my last name to his. She loved the idea.” He smiled briefly, “But it was hard for me to be around. Claire was so little—she thought I was him a few times and it just—Amelia broke down and I just—I kept my distance after that.”

“Where do they live?”

“North Carolina—in Charlotte. They moved after Jimmy died so it’s not the same house, but they still live in the area.”

“Cas?”

“Hm.”

“Thank you for telling me about him.”

“I—I wanted to. Obviously couldn’t do it on the plane. But I—you should know.” They were silent for a while. Dean just rubbing his thumb along his alpha’s hand. They both stared at the picture of Jimmy. The longer Dean looked, the more differences he found between the two of them. But it was strange. There was a lightness about Jimmy that Castiel never had. Dean wanted to see more pictures.

“I am sorry for your loss Castiel.” Dean whispered solemnly. Cas was shaking a bit. He squeezed Dean’s hand before letting go and kissing his head. He pulled away from Dean and was out the door.

Dean let out a breath, rubbing his face. He tried to ignore the flame of fury of Castiel leaving again. He just told Dean a heavy story. Dean could talk to him about just leaving again in the morning.

Exhaustion suddenly crippled him. It was an emotional crash after an intense dinner and tragic story. It was all Dean could do to put his pajamas on and crawl into bed. He left the light on for the alpha, though a vindictive part of him didn’t want to do it. He kept thinking Cas wouldn’t leave with all of his stuff in the room. Right? But didn’t he just admit to buying a flight without thinking about it much? He wouldn’t leave Dean there by himself. If he did, Dean would kill him. The swirling thoughts carried Dean through getting ready to bed. The anxiety was tight in his chest.

Even though his mind was racing, Dean was out nearly as soon as he slid under the blankets. It was a light sleep, like he was aware at every single moment. He was waiting for a sound, some clue that his alpha was coming back.

Chapter Text

Dean knew it was hours later. His body felt sluggish as the bed dipped behind him, the light he left on was turned off. The familiar scent of his alpha curled around him, even though it smelled a bit more chilly than usual.

“Cas?” Dean mumbled. Dean gasped when the alpha reached out, his hands were freezing, “You’re cold.” He complained, pulling out of the alpha’s grasp. He wasn’t sure he wanted to be held by him at the moment anyway.

“I went for a walk.” Castiel whispered, withdrawing to his side of the bed. Cas’s voice sounded raw.

“You ok, alpha?” Dean asked.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, “I left again.”

“It’s ok.” Dean whispered back. It wasn’t. He wasn’t sure why he said that.

“No, it’s not, Dean. This whole room smells like anxious omega.”

Dean wanted to collapse in on himself, “I’m sorry.”

“No.” Cas growled a bit, “I’m sorry. You asked me to just text you a time frame. I can do that.” He sounded angrier at himself than Dean, which helped Dean relax a bit.

It was quiet. Both of them breathing into the dark room. Dean wanted to close the gap between them, but wasn’t quite sure how to do it without undermining himself. He stared at the ceiling. Perhaps because the room was dark and Dean didn’t have to stare at Cas’s face, he was able to open his mouth, “I was trying to con-convince my-myself you had-hadn’t gotten on a plane to go back h-home.” Dean confessed. He took a deep breath, trying to center himself, “I know my an-anxiety can be a-a li-little—ridiculous. But I can convin-vince myself of-of anything when I-I-I am spiraling.”

Cas made a choked sound, reaching out his hand to touch Dean’s, “I’ll get better, I promise.” Castiel swore.

“Do you m-mind if I t-text you? I can j-just ask fo-for a-a time frame. That way w-we can both t-tr-try to remember.”

“Yes. I’d like that. I want you to hold me accountable.” Cas said determinedly, “And I—I promise, I will always come back. I will never leave you behind—especially in this hell hole.”

“At least dinner was en-entertaining—Nick wasn’t horrible.”

“No, he wasn’t horrible. I swear the only reason the company has done well is because of him. Nick can be ruthless when he is pissed—but he has charm. Michael is always a dick.” Cas said. Cas sighed, “You still happy you came?” The question was asked lightly, but Dean could feel the weight to it. Dean curled up in close to the alpha, wrapping his arm around Cas’s waist and pressing his nose to Cas’s neck.

“Yeah.”

Cas picked up Dean’s hand and kissed his palm, pulling Dean in tightly.

“I’m sorry Dean.” His blue eyes shone in the darkness as he whispered. Dean squeezed him, pressing a kiss to his jaw. Cas hummed, letting his eyes flutter shut.

“Goodnight Cas.” Dean whispered.

“Night Dean.” But Cas’s grip didn’t let up at all as Dean fell asleep to his gentle purr.

Dean woke up early even though he had a restless night before Cas joined him. On the west coast, it was the middle of the night, but Dean was wide awake at half past six in the morning. It was still dark outside, but hints of the sun were starting to peak over the horizon. Cas had spread across most of the bed, one leg thrown over Dean’s. It was easy to sneak out from under him and to the bathroom. He threw on a sweater but kept his nice lounge pants on after brushing his teeth. He was starving after barely eating anything at dinner. He was hoping he could sneak into the kitchen to eat something without anyone noticing. His stomach was growling.

Dean made his way into the kitchen and froze. A woman in a chef's uniform was chopping up some fruit.

“Good morning, sir. Can I get you anything?” Dean was nervous, not sure what he could ask for. Or if he was allowed to ask.

“C-coffee?” He stuttered.

“Of course, sir. And I can get you some fruit? An omelet? Oatmeal?”

“Um—I don’t want to bother you.” Dean huffed, turning bright red.

“It’s not a bother, sir. Miss Naomi stated breakfast and lunch would be up to each guest because of the party tonight. So, I am here to serve you.” Dean nibbled on his lip.

“Is it that ob-obvious I don’t know the r-rules around here?”

She laughed, “I promise, sir, I am here to serve you breakfast. If you can wait a few minutes, I have quiches that I am putting in the oven when it’s up to temp.” She pointed at the oven that was preheating. Dean relaxed a bit, realizing she wasn’t just being nice, “I also got bagels. Now these are New York bagels, so you have to have one while you’re here since it sounds like you’re not from here.”

Dean smiled, “My accent give me away? I’ll have a bagel a-and cream cheese? And quiche wh-when it comes out.”

“Want lox?”

“L-lox?”

“You like salmon?” She asked.

“Yeah.” Dean’s head was spinning and the non-sequitur.

“I’ll make you a New York style bagel for you to try. Don’t be sad if you don’t like it, I can make you something else. There is no accounting for taste.” She teased as Dean sat down on the bar stool.

“Dean.” He introduced himself as she slid over a cup of coffee.

“Rachel.” She replied and whipped him up a bagel on an open sandwich with cream cheese, capers and salmon.

Dean was skeptical until he took a bite, “That is so good.” He groaned. She had placed the quiches in the oven in the meantime. The entire room smelled heavenly. Rachel seemed content to chatter away at Dean about all the fun New York things. She grew up on the island, so had lots of opinions. She talked incredibly fast. Sometimes Dean had a hard time keeping up with what she was saying. He wanted to ask her what the hurry was, or if she could slow down a bit. But that seemed rude. Especially since she seemed happy to talk so fast. 

“Dean, what are you doing out of bed?” Cas’s voice was scratchy and low. His hair was all over the place and he still had his glasses on. He looked grumpy.

“Makin’ friends, Cas.” Dean said as Castiel sat down in the chair next to him.

“Coffee, please.” Cas groaned, “It’s four AM back home.” He complained to Dean.

“Well, we can eat breakfast and then nap. Rachel is finishing up a quiche, and I want one.”

“A slice. You can’t eat a whole one.”

“Watch me.” Dean argued, making Cas snort.

Dean ended up starting with two slices, eating them happily with a smug look at the alpha. Castiel ate his own two slices, then helped Dean eat a third. Dean and Cas took another cup of coffee to go, thanking Rachel for serving them. 

With a full stomach, Dean could feel his eyes begin to drift shut again. An early morning nap was calling out to him. The sun was sparkling over the water. It looked beautiful.

They went back to their room and Dean gratefully got back into bed. Despite the coffee, Dean could feel his entire body shutting back down again. He snuggled right back up to the alpha who already looked like he had fallen back asleep.

“Cas?”

“Hm.” Cas acknowledged, his eyes still closed as he pulled Dean into his embrace.

“Will you tell me more about Jimmy?” Castiel’s body stiffened, “When you can? Stories. I want to know about him.”

“Yeah.” Cas whispered, “I can do that.” Dean hummed, letting his eyes flutter shut.

When Dean woke up again, Cas was practically another blanket on top of him. The alpha had his nose pressed into the sensitive place behind Dean’s ear. His entire torso was over Dean’s back, his legs between Dean’s.

“Alpha?” Dean groaned.

“Sleep, ‘mega.” Cas grumbled, purring a bit to encourage Dean.

“Time s’it.” Dean melted as Cas licked behind his ear, scent marking him. Cas lifted his head a bit and groaned.

“Time to get up.” Cas confessed, “We got people coming in a few hours. We should shower.”

“We could shower together to save on time.” Dean said, grinning as he did.

The shower definitely took a bit longer than it should have. But it left Dean covered in Cas’s scent, even after washing. It also helped him feel a little bit more relaxed about the evening.

His tuxedo had definitely been pressed and re-hung up in the closet at some point during his stay. The black-tie event meant that he had to look his best. He was once again very glad for Cain, who had helped him get an outfit together. Cain ‘had a guy’ that was able to get him fitted quickly. Dean was entirely overwhelmed by the process, but Cain had a lot of direction. They ended up going with a simple black tux, mostly because it was available. Dean wasn’t sad about it. Cain had tried to get him into a deep maroon jacket, but there wasn’t one in his size ready to go anyway. The jacket he had apparently didn’t fit ‘perfectly’, but Dean couldn’t really tell. He thought it might be a rich person thing to notice shit like that anyway. Cain’s tailor got him a matching black bow tie, which he wasn’t looking forward to wearing. Of course, his alpha had taught him to tie it, standing behind Dean a few times to help teach him.

“Why do you have to do it behind me?” Dean had asked Cain.

“Because I tie it this way, in front of you I would have to do it the opposite.” Cain said with a smile, “If I think about it that hard, I can’t tie it.” Dean snorted.

It took Dean two tries, but he got the bow tie figured out. He pulled out a pocket square of Cain’s, folding it as taught and placing it in his pocket. It was soaked in Cain’s scent, which he was sure was on purpose. He finished by putting on the pointy shoes that he definitely didn’t like. They would be hurting his feet by the end of the night, he was sure of it.

He looked at himself in the full-length mirror and adjusted the sleeves. This was by far the most expensive thing he had ever worn. It didn’t really look like him in the mirror. All the weight he gained made him fill out the suit much better. He looked good. It was odd. Movement out of the corner of his eye made him turn away from the mirror.

“Holy shit alpha.” Dean couldn’t help but say when Cas exited the bathroom completely dressed though his hair still in his signature messy style. He was wearing a back tux as well, but with a black shirt and black bowtie. The scent of pine got stronger as Cas’s eyes roved over Dean.

Castiel hummed, pulling Dean close with a kiss, “You look handsome.”

“Well, get a good luck. I feel ridiculous.”

“You certainly do not look it.” Cas told him, kissing the scent spot behind his ear that made Dean melt.

“We have to FaceTime Colette and Cain. I promised them I would when I was dressed.” Dean informed Cas.

“Let’s.” Dean pulled out his phone, ringing Colette.

“Let me see!” She cried out as she answered the phone. She looked comfortable in a sweater. Dean passed the phone to Cas so he could back up and show off his outfit, “Ah! You look so hot!”

“Very handsome Dean.” Cain’s voice always relaxed Dean in a way he didn’t expect. He didn’t realize how much he needed to hear his alpha’s voice.

“Miss you guys.” Dean admitted.

“We miss you too.” Colette said

“We see you tomorrow! We’re ready to welcome you home.”

“Haven’t been gone that long.” Dean grumbled, even though his face was red.

“I’ll deliver him safely back to you.” Castiel added, leaning into Dean so he could see the couple.

“You look very handsome too Castiel.” Colette said.

“Thank you.” Cas’s cheeks turned a bit pink, which made Dean chuckle and kiss his cheek.

“I might copy you tonight with an all black look.” Cain said, looking a little too hungry at Cas for Dean’s liking.

“Hey! Stop looking at him like you want to eat him.” Dean protested, making Cain and Colette laugh, “When do you guys leave for your party?”

“Not for a few hours yet—but we’re a few hours behind you.”

“Gabriel and Ana are asking us when we’re coming down.” Castiel said, looking at his own phone.

“We got to go.” Dean told Cain and Colette.

“Just remember not to let any of those stodgy old republicans get you down, Dean. They’re idiots compared to you anyway.” Colette said.

“And that anything negative they say to you reflects society and it’s fucked up priorities, not of you. I know you tend to take things personally—but not tonight. Ok?” Cain asked.

“Yes alpha.” Dean replied.

“Go down there and kick some ass!” Colette said with a grin, “And have fun. Don’t worry about the haters.” They hung up, and Dean felt his nerves amp up a bit.

“You’ll be fine. And if not, you can get Gabriel to create a distraction and hide up here.”

Dean snorted, “Ok.” Cas texted the two that they were on their way down.

Gabe was standing at the bottom of the steps with Ana and two cocktails in his hand. He gave one to Cas and one to Dean.

“Cheers.” Dean clinked their glasses together.

“Time to gird your loins.” Gabe said, narrowing his eyes at the throng of people in the house.

Ana snorted, “You would be Stanley Tucci again.”

“I could play his character in a reboot.”

“A straight to DVD knock off.” Ana quipped.

“Castiel, it has been too long.” A voice called, and they were off to the races.

Dean accompanied Cas to every hand shake and small talk conversation. There were military, congressmen, and all sorts of fortune 500 business people there. Many of them wanted to say hello to Cas. Cas made sure to introduce Dean to all of them as his boyfriend. He got a couple of raised eyes when they figured out he was an omega, but Dean didn’t comment on it. There was an obvious group of omega wives that seemed to be the elite ‘cool girl’ club. Dean didn’t touch it within five feet, not wanting to even bother. He didn’t talk much. In a room full of so many alphas, all posturing with their stupid chests puffed out, Dean was finding it difficult to breathe.

“Want another d-drink?” Dean asked Castiel.

“Someone will come around.” Castiel said.

“I got it. Need to get some air.” Dean grabbed Cas’s empty.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I’ll find you again.” Cas looked like he wanted to say more, but kissed his jaw before letting him go. Dean wandered over to the bar but the bartender just looked right through him. One alpha after another went up and got a drink while Dean just stood there. He felt awkward, not sure what to do. His chest was too tight. He bit his lip, trying to keep his cheeks from turning red.

“Don’t serve your kind around here.” The bartender said snidely.

“O-omegas?” He asked, not understanding. Plenty of omegas were drinking. And he saw more than one go get a drink for their alphas.

“Male omega.” He sniffed.

Dean couldn’t quite believe it. What the actual fuck? He was used to underhanded comments, but this was absolutely ridiculous. Dean was stunned. He wasn’t sure what to do. He stood there and blinked for a second, then abandoned the empties on top of the bar. He had to get out of there. He moved quickly without trying to be rude and went back to the sun room. The fireplace was raging, but the room was empty. He took in a deep breath, his hands shaking. The door was open to cool down the house, letting in a chilly breeze. Dean hadn’t realized how warm he was around so many people until he felt the crisp breeze. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down his nerves and remember what Cain told him. That man’s opinion didn’t mean shit to him. It was society. Not a mark on him.

“You alright, sir?” Rachel asked. Dean was relieved to see her.

“Bartender wouldn’t serve me.” Dean admitted.

“Because you’re an omega?” She sounded horrified.

“A m-male omega.” Dean replied.

“What the fuck?” Rachel fumed, her alpha scent washing over Dean, “What do you want to drink?”

“I was t-trying to get another cocktail f-for Cas. And one for m-me that looks the s-same but with-out al-alcohol.” Rachel’s eyes widened, looking down at his stomach, “N-no not preg-pregnant.” Dean chuckled.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t assume. People’s own fertility journeys are their own. I know that. That was so rude of me—

Dean chuckled, “Dude, you’re f-fine. ARS. Need t-to w-watch my alcohol.”

“Of course! And don’t you worry about that stupid ass bartender the rest of the night. I’ll talk to the staff and make sure you guys are taken care of, ok?”

“D-don’t have to—

“No! Yes, I do. I can’t believe that dick. Well—actually, I can believe it. He is an asshole. Can’t believe you didn’t dump your drink on him.”

“Well, it w-was empty.” Dean said with a grin, making Rachel laughed.

“Someone will watch you and make sure your drink is full. I promise.”

“Thank you.” Dean replied.

Rachel gave him his new drinks and he smiled. He walked through the kitchen on his way out, where Nick was standing. He was looking at his watch, which Dean was sure was worth more money than he would see in his entire life. Then he pulled out his phone. Which was a bit odd since he was already looking at his watch.

“You alright?” Dean asked. Nick looked startled by the question.

“Of course.” His smile was perfect, but Dean already was starting to peal past the easy grin. But he also got the feeling that Nick knew that too.

“Look like you want to b-be somew-where el-else.” Dean observed.

He looked like he was going to lie for a second, but then thought better of it, “Had a date tonight.”

“Had?”

“Came here instead. Had to host.”

“Seems like Naomi i-is the-the one that is host-hosting.” Dean observed, making Nick chuckle, “They gotta be one hell of-of a person to g-get you flustered.”

Nick laughed and it sounded genuine, “She is. A lawyer.”

“How’d y-you meet?”

“Got stuck in an elevator, actually. I was marching orders and threatening jobs to get out of there. She reminded me in no uncertain terms that they didn’t want me stuck there either. And I could shut up so they don’t let the elevator fall on purpose to shut me up.” He grinned.

Dean snorted a laugh, “S-sounds like a st-strong w-woman.”

Nick nodded, “An alpha.” Dean didn’t take a sharp breath, but he wanted to. That is why the lawyer hadn’t joined them tonight. Nick dating an alpha woman would certainly raise more than eyebrows. Castiel, a black sheep of the family, bringing in a male omega caused a stir; but, not the same type of stir the head of the Angel family dating an alpha, “You can see my dilemma.”

“She said yes to a d-d-date with-with you?” Dean asked, making Nick laugh.

“No—it was more of an invitation. A challenge.” Nick almost purred. That sounded more accurate.

“You know, y-you know everyone c-calls you S-Satan?” Dean asked.

Nick’s grin was predatory, “Yes.”

“F-figure you should t-take a page f-from his book.” Dean said with a shrug, drinking from his glass.

“Hm?”

“Rebel.” Dean responded with a wink, making Nick laugh.

“It has been wonderful meeting you Dean. Perhaps I will visit Castiel one day. I could bring some of my vehicles?” He raised a brow.

“If Cain lets you on his property.” Dean replied, making Nick laugh.

“It has truly been a pleasure. I expected you to be horribly dull. Cas has much better taste than I expected.” Nick killed is drink, “Happy New Year.”

“Thanks—I-I think. Happy New Year.” Dean replied. Nick was pulling out his phone as he walked away, mentioning something about a helicopter being ready in ten. Dean shook his head.

 He walked out of the kitchen and couldn’t help but smile at the bartender. He made sure to get eye contact and give him a cheers before walking over to Cas.  

“You alright?” Cas asked. Dean leaned into is grasp, kissing is jaw as he passed off Cas’s drink.

“Ran into people to talk to.” Dean replied, looking at the man Cas was talking to before he interrupted.

“This is Senator minority leader, Henry O’Connell.” Dean was familiar with his face. Not one of his favorite people, but far from the worst person of his party. He was a former marine and was at least a respectful person. Dean still disagreed on most of the political things that came out of his mouth, but at least they weren't some insane conspiracy theory.

“Dean W-Winchester.” Dean introduced himself. It was weird seeing a man he had mostly seen in the news in real life. He was shorter than he expected, but still undeniably held a presence.

“Your mother has been on you to find a mate, I am glad you have found someone.” Henry told Castiel.

Cas flushed, “Haven’t asked him yet.”

“Gotta c-convince me to mate into all this.” Dean winked at Cas even though he was blushing as well, “I’m a mechanic. This is too fancy for people like me.”

Castiel snorted, “You’re understating yourself. Your car restorations are the best, and you’re in Cain’s pack. You would have to deal with this with or without me.”

“Car restorations?” The senator perked up.

“He is incredible. It is how we met.” Cas had no problem pulling out his phone and showing the alpha Dean’s work. Dean felt like a child where his parents were showing off his school work.

“We’ve been working on it since August. It’s got all the modern comforts all hidden in plain sight. Dean worked really hard to make sure it looked like a classic.” Dean flushed as Cas flipped through the pictures, explaining more of their process. Cas talked about what he had originally been looking for, but then how Dean adjusted based on his expertise. It all sounded really good when Cas said it like that.

“You taking on clients?” Henry asked Dean.

“You trust a male omega with your car?” Dean asked before he could help himself.

“With this type of work, I should.” Henry didn’t blink. It reminded Dean of Nick. It was clear Henry was used to taking shots and rolling with the flow. Dean flushed bright red, trying to hide his cheeks when he took a sip of his drink, “How did you get into this work?”

“My d-dad was a p-piece of work—didn’t like my designation. But—” Dean shrugged, “got his l-love of cars.”

“Hm.” The senator looked thoughtful as he handed Castiel back his phone, “Can I get in contact with you about some work?” He pulled out his own phone.

“Yes.” Dean nodded and rattled off his phone number, the senator put it in his own.

“I’ll reach out after the holiday. You all enjoy yourself.”

It left Castiel and Dean alone.

“I got tea for you.” Dean said softly to Cas, turning into his grip.

“Tea?” Cas asked, confused as he looked at his drink.

Dean snorted, “I’m hanging out too much with Gabe. Tea—as in drama. Information.”

Cas’s furrow smoothed out, turning to Dean from his drink, “What did you find out?”

“Nick is seeing someone.”

“Hardly surprising.” Castiel took a sip of his drink, keeping his voice quiet.

“A female alpha.”

Cas coughed into is glass, “Really?”

Dean nodded, “Yup.

“Interesting.” Cas smiled.

“Sir, can I get you another drink?” A waiter asked Dean. Dean looked down at his glass to find it mostly empty.

“Please. I had a—”

“Rachel let me know your orders, unless you want something else?”

“No. That’s good.” Dean replied, “Alpha?”

“I’m good for now thanks.” Castiel replied and the waiter walked away, “I got to slow down.”

“I switched to non-alcoholic.” Dean confessed.

“Hm, not a bad idea. I like the drink in my hand because most of the time I feel awkward and it gives me something to do.”

“Same.” Dean replied with a grin. Castiel’s smile lit up, making Dean’s knees weak. The alpha pulled him in a bit closer, keeping his arm wrapped around Dean’s waist.

“Usually at this part of the party, I hate life and everything else. I am very glad you came Dean. I am sorry I was such as assbutt about it.”  

Dean laughed, not caring if people turned to stare at him, “Glad you finally saw the light.”

“Back into the valley of death?” Castiel asked, motioning his head to the crowd.

“Forward the light brigade.” Dean answered. Cas’s eyes softened and he kissed Dean chastely.

There was more glad handing. There were more introductions. Small talk with more people Dean had seen in the news. He avoided the ones who were absolute menaces. But in that room, it was definitely a scale of relativity. All of them were donors to causes that he hated. His tongue was bleeding from biting it. He made sure to bring up that he was a male omega on every occasion, if only to make people realize the comments they were saying were about him. It barely stopped anyone, but it did make a lot of people uncomfortable.

It was about ten minutes to midnight when he had enough. Too many alphas. Too much talking. His battery was just fried. He snuck away quietly into the sunroom again. The fire had dimmed, so Dean carefully threw an extra log onto it. It was chilly, the doors still open to let in the cool air. He had switched back to an alcoholic beverage, but it was only his second for the night. The old fashioned warmed him up from the inside.

“There you are.” Castiel’s voice made him melt a bit. The alpha wrapped his arms around him from behind, “You alright?”

“J-just nee-needed some q-quiet t-time.” Dean replied. His stutter was definitely getting worse since he was tired and socially exhausted.

“There should be some fireworks, if I remember correctly, in that direction.” Castiel pointed down the shoreline a bit, “We don’t have to go back in to do New Years with everyone. We can stay right here.”

Dean smiled at his alpha, “P-perfect.” Dean twisted in Cas’s arms to look up at him, putting his glass down in the process, “Any N-n-new year’s res-res—fucking hell—resolutions, alpha?”

“Hm.” Castiel thought about it, “Being less self-conscious about my greys.”

Dean smiled, “Your greys are s-sexy. You shouldn’t be self-conscious.” Dean kissed a few grey hairs on Cas’s temple, “Any-anything else?”

“Not running away anymore—or if I do, letting you know I am coming back.” Castiel swore quietly. Dean couldn’t help but smile at that, kissing Castiel’s lips. He pressed his body against his alpha, as tightly as they could, "Yours?"

“M-my r-resolu-lu-tions are-are to be l-less self-self-conscious a-about my s-stupid fucking st-stutter.” Dean stated. Cas kissed his lips, “T-to lean in t-to my b-business. And t-to start l-living m-my life t-to it’s full-fullest. W-waited t-to long f-for m-my life to b-begin.”

“Am I part of that, Dean?” Cas asked.

Dean smiled, “Y-you bet y-your ass y-you are.” Which made Cas laugh. Somewhere, Dean could hear people counting down. He wasn’t really paying attention to it. He just wanted to breathe in the alpha’s scent and bask in Castiel’s presence. There was cheering in the background, so Dean leaned in and kissed him. It was no longer the chaste kisses from earlier. Dean felt it all the way down to his toes. He moaned into the kiss as Cas’s hand dragged down his back.

Frank Sinatra’s New York, New York was playing in the background and they could hear people singing along from the party. Castiel took Dean’s hand, holding it as they started to sway. Dean didn’t look away from Cas when he heard the fireworks start to go off. Dean got lost in Cas’s blue eyes, never wanting to look away. Just the two of them.

Chapter Text

Dean was holding Castiel’s hand tightly as he sat down with Colette and Cain. Cain was holding the letter John had written. Cain and Colette decided that the letter held information Dean should know, but it wasn’t anything that couldn’t wait until after the holidays. Unfortunately, coming back from the east coast meant that he had to hear about his father.

Missouri knew the information from Cain and Collette, which also meant she had approved of telling Dean. That only added to his worry. He dodged it for another week after coming back, but then it would get too close to his birthday and he didn’t want that either. He thought about delaying until after his birthday, but Missouri called him on his bull shit in the sweet and no-nonsense way she always did.

“I’ll give you the most important news first.” Cain said, putting the letter down on the table. Missouri was on the laptop, called in via internet for moral support, “You have a half-brother.” Dean’s body went hot and cold. He couldn’t quite believe it. He took a deep breath and squeezed Cas’s hand, “He is five years old. Apparently, your dad got cleaned up and found God. He lives about two hours south of here. He moved here to be closer to you both, but Bobby told him to stay away. He says Kate is a good woman that helps him stay sober. That Adam reminds him of you. Plays baseball and soccer.” That sent a warning bell down Dean’s spine. He felt cold.

“What designation is he?” Dean asked, shaking.

Colette frowned, looking at the letter, “It doesn’t say.”

“Does your information say?” Dean asked Cain.

“He hasn’t presented yet, officially.” Cain answered calmly.

“We have to go. Do you have his address?” Dean was up on his feet. His brain was running incredibly fast. Dean already knew at five. His Dad already knew when he was five. It wasn’t like that for everyone. But it was for him. It could be for Adam.

“Dean?” Missouri called to him through the fog of his brain.

“He could be like me!” Dean yelled, “I knew then. My dad sure as fucking knew too. I was—I-I was—” Dean ran his fingers through his hair, “We have to check.”

“There haven’t been any CPS calls.” Cain said.

“No one came to check on me.” Dean whispered, his eyes flooded with tears, “N-No one.” His voice broke and he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, “We have to check.”

“Do you have to check?” Cain asked, “I can go down.”

Dean shook his head, “I t-trust you but I-I-I have t-to see it.”

“Sugar?” Missouri’s voice floated up from the laptop, and Dean turned to her, “I need you to take a deep breath for me.”

“I’m going Missouri.” Dean growled.

“I am not saying you shouldn’t. But I need you to take a deep breath for me.” Dean took in a deep breath even though it was a bit shaky. Then he took another one on Missouri’s orders. After the fifth one, his heart rate had calmed considerably. Everyone was staring at him like he was about to bolt, which was fair.

“Can you come with me? He is already scared of you.” Dean asked Castiel.

“Of course, Dean.” Castiel had moved between Dean and the door, as if trying to make sure he wasn’t left behind.

“I would like you both to come as well.” Dean said to Colette and Cain.

“We can call the police for a wellness check?” Missouri suggested.

“I have to see this for my-myself. I-I-I don’t t-t-trust—” He waved his hand out.

“The system?” Collette provided, “I get it.”

“This isn’t advisable, young man. But I understand that I can’t stop you.” Missouri said, “You just call me and keep me updated, alright? Castiel and Cain—he will need alpha attention after this confrontation.”

“Yes ma’am.” Cas answered while Cain nodded.

“Dean?”

“Yes Missouri.”

“You have worked really hard on making sure you can state your needs. Your father, most likely, sees himself as the victim of losing his wife. That he was incapable of giving you what you needed. But that is not enough reason for the way you were abandoned. Alright? Do not let him feed you any bull shit.” Her tone was tough.

“Yes Missouri.” Dean nodded.

“And you tell me if that little boy is alright, ok sugar?”

Dean smiled, his heart aching in his chest, “Yes ma’am.”

They went to the impala and Dean climbed into the driver’s seat.

“You ok to drive?” Castiel asked as he got into the passenger side. Dean glared at him, which only made Cas smile, “Just asking.”

“G-get to d-drive my car one time and th-think you can just d-drive it whenever you want.” Dean grumbled, staring it up.

Dean drove in a blur. He wasn’t trying to get there at a crazy fast speed, but he wasn’t going the speed limit either. Cas had his hand wrapped around Dean’s.

“Ok. P-plan is for Cas t-to come in with m-me because John is al-already familiar with him-him. Cain, c-could you stand outside the-the car so he c-can see y-you. I’ll y-ell if we n-need back up. A-and Collette, the m-most im-important j-job of b-being in the d-drivers seat i-in case we n-need to m-make a quick g-get away.” Dean told everyone. His stomach was doing flips and he felt like he might vomit. He wasn’t sure what he was going to come across when he got to the house. He knew it wasn’t the same place they called home so many years ago, but he couldn’t stop picturing his old house. He kept seeing his old room.

It was a strange combination of wanting to get there fast, but also never wanting to arrive. He watched the GPS time slowly tick downwards, his heart racing. He gripped Cas’s hand tightly when they got off the interstate and pulled into a cute neighborhood. Dean let out a slow breath as they stopped in front of the house. There was a swing set in the back yard that looked like it was well used. There were a few toys scattered about.

“You don’t have to go in. I can.” Cain offered.

“We both can go in.” Colette squeezed Dean’s arm, “You don’t have to.”

“Need to see it myself.” Dean shook his head.

“Ok.” Colette frowned, “We’re right here, ok?”

Dean nodded, his hands shaking. His entire body felt hot and like his stomach was going to cave in. He took a deep breath and looked to Cas. His blue eyes cut right through him, offering a cool foundation to help him feel a bit more centered.

“Ready when you are.” Cas said.

“Let’s do it.” Before Dean could second guess himself, he pushed open the driver door and got out of the car. His vision felt like it wasn’t real, his body didn’t feel attached to himself. He walked around the car in a bit of a daze. Castiel grabbed his hand again.

A little boy came running around the back of the house, squealing in delight as he sprinted toward a toy push lawn mower. He came screeching to a halt, “Woah! That’s a cool car mister. What kind is it?”

“T-thank you. An impala.” Dean managed to say, “But you prob-probably sh-shouldn’t t-talk to s-strangers.”

“Oh yeah! MOM!”

“Adam, I’m back here!” A voice came from the back yard.

“There’s a stranger!” Adam yelled back. It was quiet for a moment before a woman walked around to the front of the house. Dean looked at Adam’s face which was flush from being out in the sun. He looked healthy, as far as Dean could tell. There was a prominent pack bite on his forearm. His mom walked up a bit cautiously, wearing yardwork gloves and a baseball hat. She looked to Adam for a second before looking up at Dean. The recognition in her face dawned.

“Dean.” She looked shocked, “I’m Kate—I—what are you doing here?” She frowned, “That sounds rude, I am so sorry. I just mean—I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Me either.” Dean confessed.

“John isn’t here. He went for groceries.”

“I—I just f-found out a-about A-Adam. I-I-I—” Dean’s throat caught. He looked from Kate to Cas, trying to convey everything he couldn’t.

“He wanted to make sure it wasn’t how he grew up.” Castiel finished for him, his voice cold and robotic. Kate’s eyes grew wide, picking Adam up. The young boy was definitely picking up on the tension, half hiding behind his mother.  

“Of course.” Kate whispered, kissing Adam’s cheek, “Adam, this is Dean. He is your Dad’s first baby.” That made Dean swallow hard. Staring at Adam he couldn’t help but think that at his age, his mother had already died. They had moved out of their family home and were on the road. He was trying as best he could to take care of Sammy.

“He’s old.” Adam whispered loudly, which made Dean chuckle.

“I am old.” Dean said back as Adam ducked behind his mother’s shoulder, “This is m-my b-boyfriend, Cas.” Cas nodded, but did not extend his hand to shake, “M-my alpha a-and pack m-mate a-are t-there.” Dean waved to his car. Cain had stepped out of the vehicle and was standing by the passenger door. He had his arms crossed, staring at the group. He nodded his head in acknowledgement, but did not attempt to look friendly.

“Is that Cain Knight?” Kate blanched.

“It is.” Castiel confirmed.

“Holy shit.”

“Mommy, that’s a bad word.” Adam reminded her softly.

“It is, baby.” Kate kissed his head, “I can show you the house, if you want. I saw—I saw pictures of your house growing up. Adam doesn’t live like that.” Adam perked up at hearing his name, “Want to show Dean your room sweetie?”

“Yeah!” Adam wiggled to get down, so Kate kissed his head again before she did. He sprinted off into the house, and Dean kept hold of Cas’s hand as they walked in. It took Dean a moment once they walked into the house, to brace himself. He half expected to see empty walls. But slowly, he started to see everything that made it a home. There were dozens of pictures of Kate and John’s wedding, of the couple camping, then when Kate was pregnant, and then so many of Adam.

Tears filled Dean’s eyes before he could help it. It was relief and jealousy and anger all at once. Relief for Adam because Dean was sure his bedroom would be just as comfortable. Jealousy that Adam was able to have what looked like a normal childhood. Anger that his father was not able to give him the childhood he deserved.

They walked down the hallway of the rancher style house and into the bedroom that was clearly Adam’s. There were toys on the floor and the smell of happy child.

“I just got a big boy bed.” Adam said proudly. There was a railing along the side. But the room was decorated with pictures of cars and soccer balls. There were bins of toys along the wall and a closet half open that was full of clothes.

“Can you show me your favorite toy?” Castiel asked.

“YEAH! It’s my train.” Adam dragged Castiel to the floor, pulling out a toy bin.

“I saw the pictures of where you grew up.” Kate spoke softly, staring at Adam, “John had talked about it multiple times—but seeing how horrible it was.” She shook her head, tears in her eyes, “I am so sorry Dean.”

“Not y-you.” Dean replied.

“I know—but I feel guilty all the same.” Kate looked at Dean, but he couldn’t quite look back at her. He stared at Adam.

“He’s a g-good k-kid.” Dean commented.

“So were you.” Kate replied, and Dean felt like he had been punched in the gut. He blinked a few times, trying to swallow the tears that threatened to spill over.

“Y-you know h-his de-designation?” Dean managed to ask past the lump in his throat. Cas was playing with Adam, but he had an eye on Dean like he was waiting for the sign to jump up. Dean shook his head slightly, so Cas looked back to Adam. But the corner of his eye was still on Dean.

“We think he might be a beta.” The relief almost made Dean fall to the floor. Dean felt his phone ring in his back pocket, but he didn’t answer it. He let out a harsh breath, a few tears leaked out, “If that’s not the case, I swear to you Dean, he will be loved.” Dean pressed the heal of his palm to his eyes, trying to stop from crying.

“Mommy?” Adam looked called, “Why are you crying?”

Kate smiled through her tears, “I just needed a hug from you.” She crouched over and Adam gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“You have a booboo?” He asked.

“No, honey.” She kissed his round cheeks a few times. Castiel stood up, moving into Dean’s space. Dean leaned into his chest, smelling the comforting pine scent and letting it calm him down.

“Why are you crying?” Adam asked Dean. Dean smiled.

“I w-wanted a h-hug too.” Dean stated.

“Babe?” A call came down the hallway, “You see that impala parked out front? It’s gorgeous. I brought in the groceries, did you get my text about—” John stood in the doorway and froze.

“DADDY!” Adam screamed, launching himself across the room. John caught him, picking him up. Cas moved to stand in front of Dean.  The room was silent, the only sound was Cas’s phone vibrating. He reached into his pocket.

“Yeah.” He answered, “We know.” He paused, “Will do.” Then he hung up. It was probably Cain or Colette trying to warn them.

“Dean.” John was stunned.

Dean wasn’t sure if he could speak, so he swallowed and squeezed Cas’s hand, “W-wanted t-to ch-check o-on A-Adam.” John paled a bit more, but nodded his head.

“Adam, honey, let’s go get a snack.” Kate offered her arms out.

“Ok, Mommy.” Adam went with his mother with ease.

“It’s your car out front?” John asked. Cars would be a safe subject. Dean nodded. “66 impala?”

“Sixty-s-seven.” Dean replied. John nodded.

“Beautiful.” John rubbed his arm, “Can I show you something?”

Dean nodded slowly, still holding Cas’s hand in a bit of a death grip. John led them back to his bedroom. Cas stopped near the foot of the bed, still standing between John and Dean. He didn’t even bother trying not to look aggressive, his chest was puffed out and his face drawn.

John pulled out a stack of photos from his bedside table, then set it on the bedspread so Dean could see. The first photo was of the four of them—Mary, Sam, Dean and John. It was when Sam was a newborn, perhaps when he first came home from the hospital. Everyone was smiling, even Sam in his own infant baby type of way. The second was a picture of Dean and Sam in high-school. Dean thought it was probably a year before they were taken away. Sammy was just about the same height, a goofy grin on his face. Dean looked gaunt, but smiling. The third picture was newer than the first two. It was clearly a crime scene photo, taken of their house after Dean and Sam were taken away. There was blood on the floor. In the angle, there was only the one twin mattress on the floor. There was writing on the walls—the alphabet and a periodic table. The blankets looked old and worn thin, especially in the harsh flash.

“I look at them every morning after I wake up.” John confessed, “To remind myself what I have lost, and what I could lose again if I don’t try to be a better man.” He took in a harsh breath, “I’m not telling you this as an excuse—but to give context. Your grandfather—your mom’s dad—was a mean son of a bitch. Hated me, nearly stopped talking to your mom when she married me. We moved to get away from him. He always said I wasn’t good enough for your mother. Not man enough. Couldn’t provide. When we had you—well, let’s just say he didn’t have anything good to say about you or Sam. I was trying so hard to prove myself to him, I forgot that he didn’t matter. When your mom died—he told me it was my fault. I was not man enough to protect her. Not man enough—well, I won’t repeat all he said. Not worth your time.

“I knew he was wrong, but I listened to him anyway. I moved away because I knew Mary would want me to get his voice out of my head—but it followed me anyway. The alcohol just gave it even more strength.” John stared at the photo of their house, picking it up gently, “Not trying to excuse anything. Just—context, in case you wanted it. I used it as a reason to be ugly. A lot of people get a shitty lot in life and don’t end up doing shitty things. But I did. So I keep these photos in my drawer and stare at ‘em every morning to remind myself what I am capable of doing, and losing. I don’t want it to happen again.”

Dean wiped his face, not sure when the tears started flowing. He wasn’t sure he could say anything.

“This picture of you and Sam is one of the few I have.” John admitted, he picked up the one of them in high school, “I don’t know what year it was—I d-don’t know—Christ.” He took a breath, wiping his face, “Don’t know who took the picture.” He rubbed his head, “I don’t even know where the fuck I was for it.” He let out a muffled sob, turning to Dean, “I’ll do better by Adam, I swear it.”

Dean nodded his head slowly.

It was time to leave.

He pulled Castiel as he walked out of the room. He walked toward his car in a bit of a fog.

“Dean!” Kate yelled, so he turned around. She ran down the steps and up to him, “Here.” It was a piece of paper with a number on it, “It’s my number. In case—in case you want pictures of Adam. Just so you know he’s ok. I swear I won’t show John anything you send, or I send to you. But just—I want you to know he is ok.” Dean smiled, wiping more tears off his face.

“Th-thank you.” He managed to croak.

Kate hesitated for a moment before throwing her arms around him, squeezing him tightly. Her own shoulders shaking with sobs. She kissed his cheek, then backed away.

“I’ll hear from you?” She asked. Dean managed to nod, leaning back into Cas.

The two walked back to the impala. Dean knew he wouldn’t be able to drive in his current state, so he consented to being in the back seat. Cain was already waiting for him, pulling him into his embrace. He snuggled up into his alpha, but didn’t let go of Cas either. He knew they were talking, but couldn’t really grasp the words that they were saying. Dean just kept breathing in his pack’s scent, reminding himself that he was safe.

Dean woke up in his bed. He had vague memories of getting back to the house, changing and getting into bed. There was a new bite mark on his arm from Cain. He was surprised that he was in bed alone, but then looked at the clock to see that it was only eight PM. After rolling out of bed, Dean walked back down to the kitchen. He could hear Cas’s low and steady voice talking about—some sort of doctor stuff. It was definitely about a patient. Dean walked into the kitchen to see Cas sitting at the table, glasses on as he stared at his tablet. It had an MRI scan up on the screen. He was rattling stuff off about next steps, then gave his goodbyes.

“Hey Cas.” Dean croaked. Cas turned, his eyes wide in surprise.

“Hello Dean.” It made Dean smile, so he immediately walked over to the chair next to him.

“Where is everyone?”

“Cain is in his office and Colette got called into a last-minute shift. She didn’t want to leave—but the hospital was short.” Dean nodded as he slid his chair close to Cas’s, “We have left over pasta in the fridge.”

“You m-make dinner?”

Cas smiled, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Dean’s temple, “I did. Uber Eats from the Italian place you like.” Dean hummed his delight. He didn’t want to move out of Castiel’s grasp, but his stomach was growling. He pressed his lips against Cas’s, reveling in the feeling of being close to one another. The kiss went on for a bit too long, Dean’s stomach growled louder in protest. He regretfully backed away and moved to get his food. Cas went with him, keeping his hands on Dean the entire time. It felt like he did in high school, where hormones meant too much PDA and clinging onto one another. Dean leaned into Cas’s chest as his food was in the microwave, his arms wrapped around the alpha’s waist.

“How are you feeling?” Cas asked softly, murmuring against Dean’s hairline.

“Good. Weird. I am relieved.” Dean murmured, “I think—it f-feels like I c-can move on?” He was quiet for a moment, “He re-recognizes the wrong he d-did. He w-was punished f-for it. A-and n-now he is t-trying to d-do better.” Dean took a shaky breath, “Don’t w-want him in m-my life—ob-obviously. But it f-feels like r-relief.” Dean took a step back, “I’m s-sorry you had t-to see that I’m a m-mess.”

“Dean.” Castiel cupped Dean’s cheek. He looked a bit exasperated, “That was the bravest thing I have ever seen. To go back into your abuser’s home to check on a child? Incredibly brave.”

“I c-couldn’t stop shaking!” Dean knew that Cas knew that because he held his hand the whole time.

“And yet you still went inside—true bravery.” Castiel said strongly, kissing Dean’s lips briefly, “Dean, what you did was incredible. You are incredible.” Dean turned bright red, putting his head on Cas’s shoulder out of embarrassment.

“Thanks Cas.” He grumbled.

Dean decided that staying cuddled up to Cas was more important, so he ate on the couch curled up next to him while he sent a few emails. Then, Cas brought him back to bed, stripped them both of each item of clothing so they could be bare. He pressed a kiss to every inch of his skin, finally sinking into him when he asked for it. And holding him tight in his release.

When Dean woke up the next morning, the sun was flickering in through the shades. Cas, unsurprisingly, was still curled up next to Dean. What was shocking was that the alpha was already awake. He was staring down at Dean. Dean smiled up at him, curling into his alpha’s chest and throwing an arm around his alpha’s waist.

“I love you.” Cas said, his thumb running along Dean’s jaw. Dean's entire body felt warm, it was like he plunged into a warm bath. Every extremity tingled. Those blue eyes were shining at him like he was the center of the world. He wasn't sure if he deserved it, but he was beginning to believe that it wasn't necessarily about that. 

“I love you.” Dean replied. Cas's smile was blinding. He pulled Dean closer, so every inch of naked skin was pressed against his, their legs tangled together. Cas placed a chaste kiss on Dean's lips, then pulled back to stare at him again. He ran his thumb along Dean's jaw, running his fingers through Dean's short hair. Dean couldn't help but stare at the alpha, his heart bursting. 

Chapter Text

Cas stared at Dean asleep. Despite his calm exterior, he knew his hormones were still in overdrive. Missouri called them his ‘protect’ hormones that helped Dean feel safe. He didn’t want to leave him, but there was something he needed to do. So, he quietly slipped out of bed. He put back on his briefs and pajama pants, but put his shirt in the nest so Dean could still smell him while he was gone. It was a bit cold to be walking about the house without a shirt on, but Dean needed it more than he did anyway. The house was quiet, but he was sure Cain would still be awake. His office light was on; he cautiously knocked on the door.

“Come in.” The alpha’s voice never grated against Cas’s ears like some alpha’s did. Castiel had never considered himself particularly challenging when it came to working with alphas. But meeting Cain helped him realize how easy it could be. He opened the door to find Cain sitting at his desk. He was wearing his own glasses, glaring at his laptop like it had wronged him. The older alpha unashamedly eyed up Castiel, which made him chuckle. It was a testament to Cain that his eyes didn’t linger over the scars.

“What can I do for you at this hour?” Cain teased, waggling his brows. Cain's flirtations were always empty, so it never made Cas feel uncomfortable.

“Couple of things.” Castiel said, sitting in one of the chairs opposite the desk. He grabbed a blanket that was on the back of a chair and wrapped it around his shoulders, “To protect my modesty.” Cain barked a laugh, pouring a glass of whiskey from a nearby decanter and handing it to Castiel, “I was looking at a gift for Dean, for his birthday.”

“Oh?”

“There is a car show coming up in San Jose.” Castiel took a sip of the whiskey and it warmed him up. After the day he had, the whiskey was very much appreciated, “It is a few days, but figured he might be able to appreciate it more if you went along.” Cain looked surprised and then softened, “He gets a bit twitchy without you nearby. I can see when it wears on him—just makes him a bit more tired easier. And—well, I know you like cars too.”

“We can have a boy’s trip.” Cain said with an easy smile, “I’ll talk to Charli. She has been managing Dean’s social media accounts, so I think it might be worth talking to the car show that Dean will be going.” Cas nodded, relaxing a bit. He figured Cain would be game to go.

Cas took a large sip from the whiskey glass, “One of the pictures that John had today was from a police camera.” He looked at Cain, “Did you give him crime scene photos?”

Cain opened up a drawer in his desk and pulled out a folder, “I sent him several.” He plopped the file down on his desk, “After he showed up with the note, I thought he needed some reminding on exactly how bad the circumstances were.”

“The note was bad?”

“No.” Cain said, leaning back in his chair and taking a sip of whiskey, “It had a bit of a revisionist history. Mostly mentioning the things that John had done to keep his kids safe and glossing over the more horrific details. He was truly apologetic, but I still thought a reminder was necessary. And that any future contact would go through me.” Cain frowned, “I did not foresee Dean running to John’s house immediately after finding out about Adam.” Cas couldn’t help but smile a bit. The extent of Dean's protective instincts surprised everyone sometimes, even when he had a long history of doing it. Cain pushed forward the file, an invitation to look. Castiel put his glass on the desk and took up the file.

He was growling low in his throat as soon as he saw the first picture. It was of a young Dean in a hospital room. There were several bruises and scrapes on him. His cheeks were completely hallowed and his skin almost purple. He flipped through photos of Dean and Sam’s room that was destroyed.

“One of the EMS team went on to advocate for more training when it came to omegas after that. He was so horrified by what he saw. He leads a nonprofit in Kansas that trains first responders on how to help omegas in distress and how to spot distress earlier.” Castiel looked up at the alpha, “He received an extremely large donation, which he is very grateful for.”

“What is all over the door?” Castiel asked.

“Sam devised a system that kept their smells from leaving the room. It insulated them both, and kept their father from getting to curious. Or smelling Dean in heat.”

Castiel scowled at the photo, “How did Sam go from this to—?” His voice trailed off, he wasn’t sure even Cain knew the answer to that.

“He is young. Ambitious. Reminds me too much of myself, if I am honest.” Cain said, “He also had an older brother that put him first. Conditioned from his family to think of himself first. Not Dean’s fault, obviously.” Cain shrugged, “We’ll have to ask him someday.”

“You think he will come back into Dean’s life.” Cas stated, rather than asked.

Cain nodded, “He is in rehab at the moment. Received a mysterious benefactor to pay for his time there.”

“You keep tabs on him?” Castiel asked, though the answer was obvious. Cain nodded, “What happened?”

“Not too sure. His grades were slipping after Thanksgiving. He ended the semester with enough to pass. But he was hospitalized at the end of Thanksgiving break. His girlfriend looked around for rehab programs. I got him into one of the best nearby.”

“Does Dean know you’re doing this?”

“No. He barely can talk about Sam. I figure I will let him know later.”

“Would he want you taking care of him like this?” Castiel asked a bit angrily. Then he realized his question. Of course, Dean would want Cain to help his brother. He growled to himself, pinching his nose and closing his eyes.

Cain chuckled without humor, “It seems you’ve answered your own question. But I agree—Dean would want me to help his brother. Colette usually convinces me not to have him killed. But you seem like you would encourage my darker impulses.”

Castiel growled, opening his eyes and taking a sip of whiskey. He knew he was scowling at Cain, but he couldn’t help it.

“Why rehab?”

“Addiction. Cocaine looks to be his drug of choice, but he was hospitalized for opiates.” Cain said with a sigh, “I know some people can use for a while and not be much of an issue. But I am not privy to all of the details. This is just what a PI could gather without looking too suspicious, though I am fairly certain the girlfriend is aware.”

“Dean did say he went once while he was here after Ruby.”

“The rehab here was more of a young boy’s correctional boot camp.” Cain admitted, “I think it was not kind to Sam. Perhaps part of the reason why he left so pissed.”

“Not Dean’s fault.” Castiel growled.

“No, of course not.” Cain agreed. Castiel took a deep breath, trying to regulate himself a bit.

“Sorry. I am told I smell horrible when angry.”

Cain grinned, “You smell like I dove head first into a snow bank.” That made Castiel laugh, “It’s not a bad smell.” Castiel closed the folder, not willing to look at much else out of fear it would send him into a rage, “Was there anything else you wanted to discuss? You said you had a few things.”

“Mating.” Castiel said.

“Cas, I’m flattered but I already have a mate.” Cain said, his eyes twinkling. But it shocked Castiel enough to make him laugh, he was sure his scent adjusted to stop being so angry.

“No, mating Dean. Not—I don’t think he’s ready yet. But I wanted to just—make sure I ask you not for permission, but medically—I know you have to stay his alpha.”

“I do.” Cain sounded possessive. And while Castiel thought it would grate his nerves to have someone be possessive over his omega but he was glad of it. He wanted to purr. He wanted people to protect Dean, especially Dean's alpha.

“I don’t want to change that either.” Castiel confessed.

“You don’t want him?” Cain adjusted his body slightly, but Castiel could feel the tension.

“I do want him,” Castiel immediately corrected, “but I thought there might be an option where you stay his alpha, but I could be his mate.”

Cain’s body relaxed, slightly, but he looked thoughtful, “You join my pack?” He asked to clarify.

“Yes.” Castiel nodded.

Cain arched an eyebrow in surprise, “I figured you would want to be head alpha.”

Castiel looked at his whiskey glass, “I never really saw myself as top alpha of a pack. Gabriel and Ana—they happened because of circumstances and I couldn’t be happier with them. Our tiny pack has meant the world to me. I would have to make sure it was ok with them. They would obviously still be my pack, but just—under your pack. Bites from you would be dependent on whether or not they wanted one.” Castiel took a sip of whiskey for bravery, “So I guess, I am asking if you would want us? If you would want me, in your pack. I know my family—my brothers— have not been kind to you. So, I do understand if your answer is no.”

“Do you think your pack would like to belong to mine?” Cain asked.

“If you don’t push a pack bite, then yes.” Castiel answered, “If they say no, then obviously this conversation is sort of a moot point. But I didn’t want to talk to them without knowing about you. And I—it’s not just because of Dean. Though, he is obviously a defining factor. I loved belonging to a large pack growing up. I had a shitty pack alpha. But it is nice to have so many people to go to, so much family. I would like that in a healthy way.”

Cain stood up and walked around the desk. Castiel sat with his back stiff, waiting for a placated answer. Cain took Cas’s whiskey glass and placed it on the desk. He tugged on Castiel’s arm, so he stood up. He was just about to wonder if he was being thrown out of the house when Cain wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug. He rubbed his scent along Castiel’s head like a head pack alpha would; in a way Castiel never had experienced. Something in his chest collapsed in on itself, relaxing for the first time. Castiel never had an alpha to look up to in his own pack. Someone he could rely on. A father or a brother. Cain was neither, and yet both at the same time. He was only twelve years older. Cas gripped his arm tightly, slightly afraid that he was imagining it.

“Talk to your pack, ok?” Cain asked, “But if they are agreeable, I would be honored to have you all.” Cas let out a harsh breath, grasping Cain even tighter.

“Thank you.” Castiel managed to whisper. Cain rubbed his chin on Castiel’s head again.

“Go back to your mate.”

Castiel turned red, “Gotta ask him first.”

“He’ll say yes.” Cain was sure. Castiel kept the blanket around his shoulders as he walked back to Dean’s nest. The omega hadn’t moved much from where he left him, his nose pressed into Cas’s shirt. He was careful not to jostle the bed too much as he came back to bed since Dean tended to be a light sleeper.

“Hm.” Dean hummed, wrapping himself tightly to Castiel, “Smell like alpha.” He muttered. Castiel let go a breath. He felt more at ease than he had in years. He knew he would spend the rest of his life with this omega. Because this was it.

“Sleep ‘mega.” Castiel hummed. Tomorrow he would be brave enough to say the words out loud.

***

Work took over Dean’s life as his birthday approached. The senator had gotten in touch with Dean for some work and Nick sent a car as well. Cain was cautious about it, but didn’t want Dean to miss out on the business. He also advised Dean to charge Nick double. He certainly overcharged Nick, but didn’t go quite so far as to double it. Dean’s social media was also blowing up, so he was very grateful to Charlie and Gabe who had basically taken it over. Gabe would help make videos and content; Charlie would edit and post them. The social media aspect helped bring in some cash as well. Between social media and his job, Dean was financially in a great situation. And that did not count Cain’s financial help. But it also meant he could afford to be picky and only take jobs that he wanted.

There was one conversation he was avoiding with Castiel. And that was the alpha conversation. They had said I love you. But what did that mean? What did they want in the long term? Dean didn’t want to leave Cain anytime soon—and physically, he couldn’t. Not without extreme risk of destabilizing again.

Ok, Dean lied. There were two conversations he was avoiding with Castiel.

His heat was going to come up eventually. And he wanted to make sure that Castiel would be there. He would be able to manage without him, but having Castiel there would be best.

“Dean?” Castiel called him from the office doorway. Dean was underneath a car, working on the Senator’s. Dean could say it had good bones, but that was pretty much it. He had taken the car apart and was trying to put it all back together in a way that made it go forward, “I am here to drag you out of the car by force, if necessary.” Castiel said seriously. He was in a set of black scrubs that had no reason to look as delicious on him as they did. They made his eyes pop. Castiel definitely had the surgeons cap on all day, because his hair looked ridiculous.

“Wanna get burgers?” Dean asked, sliding out from under the car. He was sweating and took a rag to wipe his face. Castiel pulled him close, his thumb rubbing his cheek bone only to reveal it covered in grease. Dean rolled his eyes and Castiel laughed, kissing him briefly, “I’ll clean up.”

“Not for my sake, you look hot.” Dean huffed.

“Don’t fuck in the garage!” Bobby yelled out.

“We’re not!” Dean yelled back.

“You sure?”

“That was one t-time!” Dean hollered at the doorway as Bobby popped his head in to glare at both of them. One time they got caught anyway. Bobby’s scowl seemed to show that he knew that. It was horrifying that Bobby caught Cas giving Dean a blowjob. Dean thought he would never want to have sex ever again, but Cas changed his mind, “I’ll go change.” Dean rubbed his nose to scent Cas before trotting off to his locker. He could hear Castiel and Bobby chatting amiably while he cleaned up really quick and pulled on a long sleeve t-shirt. They would be going to the Roadhouse, so there was no need to be too fancy.

Cas gazed at him when he walked in, his eyes lingering a bit too long on his body.

“Idgit.” Bobby said, whacking Cas with a car magazine.

“What?” Cas asked with a smile.

“I need a spray bottle around here. You’re both feral.” Bobby grumbled. Castiel laughed, taking Dean’s hand.

“Bye Bobby.” Dean waved him off, heading towards Cas’s truck. The impala was getting some tune ups, the only reason why Cas was driving.

They found their usual table at the Roadhouse, sliding into the booth and ordering their usual items. As soon as the beer came out, Cas let out a breath.

“I have something to talk to you about.”

“Me too.” Dean responded.

“Good or bad?” Cas asked.

“Well—two things. Neither b-bad, just—need to talk about.” Cas nodded.

“Ok, you can go first.”

“What if I d-don’t want t-to go first?” Dean asked.

“You have two things. So you can go first, then I’ll follow, and then you wrap us up.” Castiel bargained. Dean couldn’t help but smile, rolling his eyes, “My h-heat is coming up soon. I th-ink. B-but wanted t-to ask you t-to be there.” The tense line in Cas’s shoulders dropped a bit, relaxing.

“I’d be honored.”

“L-last time it w-wasn’t t-too bad. B-but Doc wants m-me to keep an eye on it too.”

“Ah, so you want me there for my medical expertise.” Cas’s eyes were sparkling, so Dean knew he was teasing.

“Your knot m-might come in h-handy too.” Dean countered. Cas barked a loud laugh, squeezing Dean’s hand. Dean took a large gulp form his beer, “Your t-turn.”

“I have a gift! Well, maybe. It’s for your birthday. But it’s—I talked to Cain about it and he thought you would like it but it has some weird caveats. And then I talked to Charlie, and she thought I should ask you—so I am.”

Dean just stared at him, “That—is v-vague.”

Cas huffed, “Car show tickets in San Jose. It’s a bit more on the tech side for a car show, but I figured you’d still like it. But it is right by Stanford—and Sam. I wasn’t sure how you would feel about going.” Dean knew about the car show and had wanted to go, but hadn’t really considered it a possibility, “Cain would come with us. So, you would have your support system there. But you would be close to Sam.”

“I want to go.” Dean said, “It’s a good idea Cas.”

Cas smiled brightly, “Ok. I’ll go ahead and get the tickets. Act surprised on your birthday.” Dean chuckled, “The first two weren’t so bad! Last one.” Cas looked eagerly at Dean.

“Um—w-want to have a conversation a-about us.” Dean said quietly, “L-long term where we s-see this g-going.”

“I would like to mate you, when we’re ready. In—not too long?” Cas answered looking a bit scared himself.

 Dean smiled back, “That sounds a-a-about r-ight.” But he couldn’t let the tension go quite yet, “C-Cain h-has to b-be m-my alpha.” Dean felt like vomiting, “Medical r-reasons a-and I-I-I want it.” That second sentence was important to say. Not just because medically he couldn’t have another alpha for a long time, but Dean also didn’t want to leave Cain. Just the thought of one day leaving his pack caused Dean to ache.

“Ok.” Castiel said softly, but he didn’t sound mad, “I can mate you without being alpha of the pack.” Dean nodded. Cas looked a bit torn and he bit his lip, “I wanted to tell you about the car show before your birthday because we will leave the next day. Just so you can change your schedule around if you have to.” Dean felt like there was something he wasn’t saying, but he let it go for now. Cas would tell him eventually, “When do you think your heat will be?”

Dean flushed, ducking his head, “Probably mid-February.”

“Hm. A good valentine’s day celebration.” Cas teased, making Dean laugh.

“Dumb holiday anyway.”

Colette was purposefully being super vague about his birthday plans but Dean knew most of them anyway. She was throwing him a birthday dinner at the house with all the usual suspects invited. It wasn’t really a surprise party, mostly just the details of the food or presents.

“Idjit, get out from under that car and head home!” Bobby yelled from the office door into the garage. Dean was the only one left in the building, other than Bobby. He was supposed to be home soon for dinner, but he knew he would be the center of attention once he got there.

“Fine.” Dean grumbled, getting out of the back. His projects were spreading over the garage. If he continued at this pace of getting new clients, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do about space. Bobby couldn’t take as many walk-in customers with all of Dean’s specialized work taking up slots. He moved projects he could to Cain’s too.

“Time to face the music.” Bobby had a sparkle in his eyes that made Dean punch his shoulder, “Idjit, see if I don’t return the gift I got you.” Dean and Bobby argued the entire way time they closed up shop and then hopped into their own vehicles. Bobby made sure that Dean left before heading out as well.

Dean saw more than a few cars in the drive way and wanted to just put the impala in reverse. He parked in the garage and sat there for a few minutes, wondering if he could get away with not going. By the way his phone was buzzing with text messages, he wasn’t sure he could. He never thought he would be nostalgic for the times where it was only him and Bobby.

“Quit hiding!” Gabe yelled at him from the garage door. Someone must have yanked him in because then Benny’s head popped out.

“If you don’t come in, I’ll start flirtin’ with Cas!” Benny threatened, “I’ll leave my mate for those blue eyes.” Dean couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head as he got out of the car. He wasn’t sure why he was friends with any of these lunatics. He rolled his eyes at the southern man when he approached, “Happy Birthday, cher” He wrapped Dean in a bear hug, smelling like warm apple pie.

There were various cries of Happy Birthday yelled out from behind him. Dean stepped out from Benny’s arms to see the house full. A drink was thrust in his hand as everyone gave him hugs. Ellen complained that he was still too skinny. Pam squeezed him so hard it hurt because she hadn’t seen him in too long.

“Give him his present!” Gabe hollered over everyone’s chatting, looking at Cain. He was bouncing on his toes.

“Please! I’m dying!” Ana clapped her hands excitedly.

“I told you no gifts.” Dean grumbled.

“Well, it’s not really a present? More like news” Colette confessed, which confused Dean, “So we figured that was skirting your rule.” Dean glared at her, making her laugh. She grabbed Cain’s hand and squeezed it.

“Well, our pack is expanding.” Cain said with a soft grin, “Castiel agreed to become of my pack with Gabe and Ana. And Benny also accepted my offer, with Andrea and Murphey. So, we’re all one big happy pack.”

Dean was stunned. He looked from his alpha to Cas, “Really?” The alpha nodded. Dean didn’t know what to do with himself. He opened his mouth and nothing came out.

“Group hug!” Gabe yelled, and Dean was very grateful for the guidance. Everyone gathered around and hugged Dean and each other. His eyes prickled a bit. He couldn’t believe he would be able to keep everyone.

“Alright, let’s get this party started!” Charlie declared. Dean felt warm and fuzzy all over. There was food everywhere and Dean’s drink was topped off. He couldn’t help but lean into Castiel’s side, taking him in. There was a fresh bite on his right hand, right in the meat of his palm.

“Don’t have much room on my arms.” Castiel told Dean, who squeezed him a bit tighter.

“Y-you wanted t-to?” Dean asked.

Castiel smiled, “I like being an alpha, but being alpha of a pack is stressful. This way I can still be in charge of my hooligans, but have some extra eyes.” Cas flushed a bit, “Wanted to tell you at dinner the other night, but I knew this was your present and I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

“It’s why I’ve been avoiding you the past few weeks.” Ana butted in, leaning into Dean’s side, “I would never have been able to keep my mouth shut.” Dean thought back to all the times  that Ana has side stepped him recently. That Cas had clearly seen Cain and hadn’t talked to him about it. Everything was starting to click together. Colette had been over at Benny and Andrea’s multiple times. 

“Huh.” Dean huffed, leaning into Castiel, “There’s a lotta th-things that are makin’ m-more sense now.”

“I thought for sure Cas was going to spoil it.” Andrea confessed with a grin.

“He almost did!” Gabe cried out.

“Almost, but I didn’t!” Castiel defended himself.

Dean left them to their bickering, making his way over to his alpha. He grasped Cain in a tight hug.

“Thank you.” Dean muttered, he pressed his nose underneath his chin, scenting him.

“Dean, you gave us a pack. It had been just Colette and I for years before you. I didn’t think I would ever be worthy of a large pack. But because of you, I see Mara now once a month. She actually speaks with me. We get to snuggle with Benny and Andrea's pup and eat as much gumbo as we could ever want. You have brought us all together. I might be the pack alpha, but you are the glue. My life is better with you in it.” Dean flushed red, ducking his head.

“I didn’t d-do anything.” Dean insisted.

Cain snorted, pulling Dean close and rubbing his scent all over him, “I’ll keep telling you until you believe me.” Cain insisted, then he bit his pack mark again. Dean could feel all the warm pack feelings. The love. He still couldn’t believe this was his life.

Despite feeling much better with his ARS, Dean was still very careful with the amount of alcohol he drank. But he did let himself a bit looser than he had for a while. He was feeling delightfully tipsy as he headed back to his room. He left Benny and Cain having a discussion on different pack things, a fresh bite on Benny’s arm.

“I think your high on all the pack pheromones.” Castiel said teasingly.

“Hm.” Dean hummed in agreement, “I didn’t think about Benny becoming pack. I didn’t think to ask. And you? When did you ask him?” Dean shut his bedroom door and immediately started pulling off his clothes.

“The same day you confronted John. I asked him that night.”

“That was weeks ago.” Dean said, tossing his jeans to the side. He realized the alpha was still dressed, so he started pulling off Castiel’s clothes. It was utilitarian. Dean wanted his skin pressed up against his. He wanted to drown himself in the alpha’s scent. He manhandled Castiel into his nest once he was completely naked, driven by instinct. He made sure Cas’s phone was on the charger next to Dean’s. He made sure all the pillows were tucked in the way he liked before he joined the alpha in his nest. Dean yanked the blankets up over their heads, incasing their scents.

“I h-hate you.” Dean told Castiel as he snuggled up into him, breathing in that cool scent that now felt like home.

Cas snorted, “Ok.”

“I can’t believe everyone k-kept it secret for that long.”

“We thought it would be a nice surprise.”

“The best surprise!” Dean exclaimed into Castiel’s chest, squeezing him tightly, “Does this m-mean you can move in?”

Cas took a breath and paused, which made Dean pick his head up with a frown, “I would rather think that is your decision, Dean.”

Dean smiled, “Wanna move in with me, Cas?” He pressed a sensual kiss to his alpha’s lips, wanting to drown himself in the content smells.

“I do.” Castiel replied, his eyes crinkling at the corners and the brightest smile Dean had ever seen. He couldn’t help but laugh into the next kiss.

“This is fuckin’ bananas” Dean huffed, rolling on his back.

“Hm?” Castiel’s eyes were on him, so Dean looked over to the alpha.

“I didn’t think I would get this. A year ago—this—all of this—would have been something I wouldn’t even dream of.” Dean curled up close to Cas again, “Getting a h-hot alpha a-all to myself wasn’t on m-my bingo card.”

Castiel snorted, but kissed Dean, “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Chapter Text

Dean couldn’t believe that so many professionals wanted to talk to him at the car show. Thankfully, Charlie was his saving grace. She contacted everyone who reached out. Some of them just wanted him to swing by, but others had lots of questions. The show was in a massive conference center, filled every inch with the future of cars. Dean was very glad to have both alphas with him. The space was massive, something he would have never considered going to before his pack. There were alphas everywhere. And so many people wanted to talk to him.

They had traveled there on first class, where Cas held his hand the entire time, thankfully. Cain muttered endlessly about missing his private jet, but it was one of the things that Colette ‘made him’ give up. It was terrible for the environment anyway. Cas and Dean made fun of him the entire time for being so snooty, which almost made Dean forget how much he hated flying.

It helped that he had several layers of safety plans that he made with Missouri to help him go to the show. Depending on how bad it got, Dean had everything planned from holding hands with Cas to an immediate evacuation. He never would have considered going to such a massive event before, but here he was actively looking to go—and looking forward to it, even if he was a bit apprehensive. But Missouri assured him being nervous was fine, and trying was really important. It also meant that having a safety plan wasn’t being a ‘wuss’—Dean’s words, not hers. Having planned breaks, making sure he slept well and ate were all part of the plan in the morning. Even if he didn’t feel like having a break, Missouri insisted that he take them so that he wouldn’t burn out by the end. Besides lunch, he had four ten-minute breaks built into the day. It didn’t have to do anything special, but it was time to sit with his alphas and check in.

At every booth, someone was giving him a card and some swag. Then he would be showed around. He hadn’t realized he gathered a crowd at one booth until he had been talking for about thirty minutes to one of the alphas working the booth. It was the BMW booth about green energy and their new iteration of electric vehicle. The entire staff had congregated, plus people attending the show. Castiel and Cain just looked on proudly.

“I-I didn’t mean t-to take over.” Dean flushed bright red.

“You’re a savant.” The older alpha shook his head in awe, “You’re like design and an engineer wrapped in one. Sure we can’t hire you?”

“Nah, man. I g-got my own thing.” Dean flushed.

“How you know everything from gas powered engineering to electric is incredible.” He said, “You ever work in consulting? I’d love for you to talk to our leadership team.”

“Just love cars.” Dean shrugged. Cain came over to save him, shaking hands with the alpha. That was when Dean learned that apparently, he had been speaking to the CEO of BMW in America, which seemed to be absolutely ridiculous. He barely graduated from high school.

“Can you pinch me?” Dean whispered to Cas. His alpha snorted, wrapping his arm around him and kissing his temple.

“This is real.” Castiel grinned. Cain was all puffed up like a peacock, obviously very proud of Dean. They went to the next booth, saying their goodbyes first after Cain exchanged information and promised to get in touch.

Not every car manufacturer or vendor was as welcoming to Dean. He could tell that a few snubbed him immediately because of his secondary gender. A few rolling of eyes and snorts when Dean would ask questions. But he was used to it, especially in the car world. It’s why he mostly preferred to stay under the hood. A few people would only talk to Cain and Castiel, so they would make the visit to that booth short.

“Need to sit for a bit.” Dean confessed well into the afternoon.

“Ok, we’ll go over to the food area.” Castiel easily agreed even though he was mid task. He stepped away from the new vehicle, looking over for Cain.

“It’s fine, I can walk myself.” Dean grumbled.

“You can, but we’re going with you.” Castiel said, wrapping his arm around him and kissing his temple. The three of them walked over to the food area. There was a smaller nook, wrapped around in the corner with booths that Cain pointed out. Having a smaller, less noisy space was important for Dean. He sat down with a groan, his back was hurting from being on his feet all day. Castiel pulled out the blanket from home in his bag. It had their pack smells, to help him feel better.

“I’m ok.” Dean grumbled as his alpha tucked it around him.

“I know, I just want to take care of you.” Castiel replied, which made Dean huff.

 “I’m good alpha. You guys go have fun. I just need to sit here and have introvert time for a bit.” Dean said.

“You sure?” Cas asked.

“Yes. I’m sure.” He kissed the corner of his mouth. They were soon off, bickering about which place to go. Dean just rolled his eyes, pulling out his phone as he watched them walk off. He also pulled out ear plugs, which were Missouri’s suggestion. Sometimes just taking the noise away of the crowd could be helpful. Wrapped in his blanket with the ear plugs in and his kindle pulled up on his phone, he felt instantly relaxed.

He couldn’t quite believe how far he had come. A year ago, going to this convention would be impossible. If he did manage to go, he would have gritted his teeth until he was about to collapse and then go home to recover for a week at least. Now he could speak when he needed a bit of time, and it allowed him to enjoy the rest of the day.

“Can I get you anything, sir?” A waitress asked in a muffled voice. Dean peaked up from his nest, pulling out an earplug to see a perky blonde woman. She looked vaguely familiar. She seemed to stare at him for a second too, recognition in her eyes.

Dean’s stomach dropped.

“Jess?” He whispered the name.

“Holy fuck you’re Dean.” She whispered, immediately dropping into the booth across from him, “I’ve only ever seen your Instagram. I stalked you. Sorry, that sounds weird. Sam never talks about you unless he is drunk. Well, I knew he had a brother. But he never talks about his family. For a while I thought you might have died. Then it was Thanksgiving I realized you weren’t dead. And then—” She burst into tears. Dean was frozen during all of her nervous rambling, but now his eyes got wide. She covered her face and pressed her fingers to her lips, trying to silence herself. Dean could see the makings of a full-on cry fest. He slid out of the booth and onto the same side as her, wrapping his blanket around the both of them. Jess was making jerking sob sounds that she was trying to choke down. She smelled sugary sweet, like a hard candy shop. Dean didn’t know if it helped, but he rubbed her back a bit.

“Oh God, I am so sorry. I shouldn’t be—you shouldn’t be nice to me.” She rubbed her cheeks, “I broke up with him over Thanksgiving break. I didn’t think much of the cocaine at first, it’s practically all the dust at Stanford. Everyone does it. But this year has been so difficult of pre-law for him and it was spiraling out of control. I told him to get clean and broke up with him.” She wiped her nose so Dean pulled out napkins from the dispenser and handed them to her, “I’m just a college s-student. I felt like I was drowning.”

“S’okay.” Dean managed to stutter.

Jess looked up at him, her eyes red and glared at him, “And you. You’re not supposed to be kind to me. I’m so sorry I am crying all over you.”

“It’s okay.” Dean said again.

“I can leave you alone, I swear. I just—I heard about what happened to you—oh god—I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry?” Dean asked.

“I’m President of the Omega Rights Society at Stanford. I want to go into Omega Rights law, help others who are unfairly maligned because of their secondary genders.” Jess wiped her face with the napkins, so Dean gave her a few more, “Sam had said some things that just—made me pause and I thought it was just usual things that I could help him unlearn, ya know?” More tears welled up, “Thanksgiving he found out about your new alpha. He had already had a few drinks, and this—I had never seen him like that. He was so self-righteous. Like he had been wronged. That’s when I found out you were alive. And he had t-torn your b-bond and left an omega –” She let out a sob, “It was not good. I left to take a walk and came back to him collapsed on the ground of the guest room. He had taken my Dad’s old prescription opiates. It was—we had to call an ambulance. I thought he was going to die. I don’t think I had ever screamed so loud in my life. My parents—thank God for them. We went to the hospital and found out he was fine. Then I finally told them everything that was going on between us. But that was it. I was out. He needed help, that much was obvious. I wasn’t going to abandon him like he did-like he did to—” Jess’s eyes got wide as she stared at Dean.

“Me?” He finished for her, and she nodded.

“He went to a rehab center. Got a grant at an extremely nice one. Someone must have pulled contacts at Stanford, because he is allowed to take this semester off with no consequence to his scholarship there either.” Dean might have been born at night, but it wasn’t night. That had Cain’s fingers all over it.

“Cain.” Dean whispered.

“I thought so.” She smiled weakly, “I’m happy he has resources. Not many people can afford it.” She wiped her face, “I am so sorry to cry all over you. I feel like I can’t stop talking. I just trauma dumped on you and I—I am so sorry.”

“S’alright.” Dean said again, “H-hard t-to t-talk about S-am.” Dean still couldn’t talk about his brother without his ARS flaring horribly.

“God. I am so sorry. I came complaining to you of all people. I can leave, I swear I will just—” Dean hugged her tight. She had been there for his brother in a time he couldn’t be, and he would never be mad at her for that. Her leaving him was setting a boundary about behavior, and he couldn’t begrudge her that either. Especially since it is something he wished he could have done. She was tight in his arms for a moment and then relaxed, crying into his shoulder. He patted her back, giving into the instinct to rub his scent along her hair.

“M s-sorry Sam h-hurt you.”

“I’m sorry he hurt you too.” She whispered, pulling back. Her face was blotchy with tears, “I’m going to go visit him after my shift. My friend works a catering job and they needed more people here, so I volunteered since I already waitress at a bar and need the cash. It’s not far from where he is. I still visit him like once a week, if I can. We’re going to be friends.” She ended stubbornly, like she had argued about it with Sam.

“Dean?” Cain’s voice pulled him away from Jess. He looked to both alphas, who looked concerned. It was clear Cain recognized who was sitting next to him. Dean scrambled out of the booth and threw himself at his alpha. Cain caught him easily, holding him close.

“Thank you.” He whispered into his shoulder, “You t-took care of h-him.”

“I’ll do anything for you Dean, you know that.”

It was like a final piece had slid into place. Dean felt his entire body relax in a way he had never felt before. Cain was willing to do this much for someone he had never met for Dean. His alpha was never letting him go. He was pack. Dean couldn’t help but feel his throat close, pressure behind his eyes as he squeezed Cain as tight as he could.

“You’re an asshole for n-not t-telling me.” Dean grumbled, which made Cain laugh. They moved to sit back down in the booth; Dean took his spot next to Jess.

“Holy fuck you’re Cain Knight.” Jess blurted out, which made everyone laugh. She turned bright red, covering her face that was already red from crying. They talked for a little while. Jess talked about school and every detail she knew about Sam. He apparently really struggled to adjust to living on campus, which Dean didn’t know about. From his perspective, it was like a duck to water. He never came back. But it was more complicated than he knew. Sam tried really hard to make it in with the right type of people because getting into Stanford law was a whole other ball game.

A timer went off on Jess’s phone.

“That’s my cue to head over to see Sam.” She confessed, looking at Dean, “I won’t tell him I saw you, if you’d like? Or if you want to come with me? We have to call to get you on a list, he only accepts certain visitors.” Dean looked over to Cain and Castiel who both looked at him.

“It’s your decision Dean.” Cas stated, “But I held your hand while you confronted your father, I would have no problem doing it with Sam.”

“Same.” Cain added.

“You talked to your father?” Jess asked, sounding appalled, “That man should be pushed in front of a train. His house should be burnt down.” Cain chuckled.

“’S a l-long story.” Dean confessed as they scooted out of the booth.  

“Well, if you ever need help burying his body, just give me a call. I’d love to help in any way.” She growled, making Dean laugh, “I saw pictures of your house from the case file.” Her scowl got deeper.

“Cain, did y-you give e-everyone pic-pictures?” Dean asked the alpha.

“To be fair, this time it was to Sam’s therapist so he could understand what happened to him in his youth.” Cain defended himself. It was a far walk to the parking lot.

“My car is in the staff parking lot. I will meet you guys there?”

“Yeah.” Dean answered, his palms beginning to sweat. They exchanged numbers quickly to make sure Dean knew where to go once they hit the rehab center campus. Dean took the wheel and Cas took the seat behind him.

“We don’t have to do this Dean.” Cas said, his gravelly voice a balm on his nerves.

“Well, we h-have to see i-if he w-will see m-me first.” Dean said. Cain slid open his phone and called the line.

“Hello Mr. Knight, how can we help you?” The voice filtered through the car and Dean tensed.

“Inquiring whether Dean Winchester can visit his brother today in about forty minutes.” Cain answered.

“We will have to ask the patient if he is willing. We won’t bend the rules for you.” The woman answered sternly.

“I wouldn’t expect you to.” Cain answered.

The wait was excruciating. They were sitting in traffic on the way over, so Dean couldn’t even distract himself with the road. It was about a forty-minute drive and it seemed to slowly tick by. The car was silent as they waited to hear from Sam. Dean felt like he was going to vomit. He kept sipping slowly out of a water bottle. Opening the window wouldn’t help since they weren’t moving anyway and it was too hot around all the cars.

“Mr. Knight?” A male voice came back and Dean jumped. Cas rubbed his shoulder from the back seat.

“Yes.”

“I am Sam’s therapist, Kevin Tran. Sam is willing to see Dean but will have me there as a mediator. Are there any conditions Dean wants?”

“His alpha to be there.” Cain immediately answered.

Kevin was quiet for a moment, “I would advise you not being there. Sam might be aggravated having Dean’s new alpha there.”

Cain clenched his fingers, made eye contact with Cas who nodded, “How about his boyfriend?”

“As long as he agrees not to interrupt. I would prefer the two brothers talk, but civilly.” Kevin said.

“Agreed.” Castiel said immediately.

“You hear that?” Cain asked.

“I did! Well, this should be interesting. I will see you guys soon!” Kevin hung up the phone.

“Dude sounds like he is twelve.” Dean grumbled.

“He is a young therapist, but is already well known in the industry. He wouldn’t be working there otherwise.” Cain answered.

The next call was to Missouri. Cain held up the phone on FaceTime so they could see each other as they drove. Or crawled forward a few inches at a time was a more apt description. Dean’s jaw felt like it was locked shut, but Missouri coached him through some exercises. She gave him a list of things to remember, which Cain wrote down.

“Do not be afraid to ask for a minute to respond.” Missouri said for about the hundredth time. It was written on his piece of paper, “You can walk away. Get a drink of water. This is about establishing new rules of engagement between the two of you.” They pulled into the parking lot and Dean didn’t know if he was going to shit his pants or vomit.

“You can still back out Dean.” Missouri reminded him.

“If I w-walk n-now it w-will on-only b-be harder n-next time.” Dean told her.

“Okay. Call me after, alright?”

“Will do Missouri.” Cain promised before hanging up. Dean turned off the car and hopped out, immediately vomiting onto the grass. Cas was by his side, rubbing his back. Cain moved around the other side of car with his water bottle, handing it to him when he was done. Dean was shaking like a leaf.

“Dean, look at me.” He found the blue eyes that pierced into his soul. Cas’s low voiced coached him through a few of the breathing exercises Missouri had done with him. He felt himself calm down again, “You can do this.” Castiel encouraged. Dean nodded.

“I want to rub my scent all over you, but I don’t think that will help the situation.” Cain told him sternly, “But just know that I want to.”

Dean managed to break out a harsh laugh, “Thanks Cain.”

“I’ll be right here when you come out. Not going anywhere.” Cain added fiercely.

Dean smiled up at his alpha, “I know.” He said it with all the confidence in the world. Because his alpha wasn’t going anywhere. Cain smiled back at him.

Dean gripped Cas’s hand tightly as they walked inside. It was a massive compound, full of different buildings. But this is the one Sam had his therapy sessions in, so this is where they would meet. There was a giant garden behind the front desk area, all made of beautiful wood. It looked very California rehab center, or what Dean pictured celebrities went to.

“Ah, Dean. I recognize you from your pictures.” A young man walked up to the three of them, “I am Kevin, we spoke on the phone.” He held out his hand. Dean was still convinced the guy couldn’t be older than twelve, “Mr. Knight, we have a room to take you to wait on Dean and-?”

“Castiel.”

“Right. Follow me.” Kevin walked them through the building, which had different therapy rooms. People were walking around but no one paid them any mind, “Mr. Knight, you can sit in here.” It was a darker room with lots of blankets on the ground. There was a mini cooler that Kevin showed full of drinks and the pantry had some salty and sweet snacks, “Missouri called me with a list of things you might need. She figured a nest room would be something you could go back to with your alpha inside.” That was thoughtful, “Alpha, I would suggest you get your scent throughout the room while he is busy.”

Cain nodded and looked to Dean, “You can still back out.”

“Oh! Absolutely!” Kevin agreed, but Dean didn’t turn away from Cain.

“I c-an d-do this.” He told his alpha.

“I know you can.” Cain encouraged, “I’ll just pace in this room until you’re done, okay?”

Dean smiled, “Call C-Colette.”

“I will.” He promised, walking in and shutting the door. Dean squeezed Castiel’s hand probably too hard. His heart was pounding and he felt like he needed to throw up again. His chest was so tight it felt like it might cave in at any moment. He followed Kevin, but didn’t feel like he was in his body. He took a deep breath, letting it fall slowly out to remind himself to be in the present. Kevin opened a door.

Sam sat on the couch.

He looked older than in Dean’s memory and much too thin for his frame. It had been nearly three years since they had seen each other.

“Sammy.” Dean couldn’t help but throw his arms around his brother. Sam gripped him back just as tightly, now towering over him. The familiar alpha scent almost brought Dean to his knees. He smelled of fresh paper and linen, so much like their mother. He bit back tears, refusing to cry in front of his brother but could feel Sam sobbing. Dean just held him that much tighter. After a few moments, they pulled back. Both pretending not to notice tears as they sat down.

“Sammy this is my boyfriend Cas. Cas, Sammy.” Sam held out his hand and Castiel shook it.

“Ok, some rules of engagement.” Kevin sat on a chair off to the side. Dean was glad Castiel was sitting next to him and barely resisted the urge to hold his hand, “The goal, I believe for you both, is to have each other in your lives again. Otherwise, I don’t think Dean would be here.” He looked at Dean who nodded, “but the status quo before is going to have to change. Together, we’re all going to develop a new way to speak to one another, but that means digging up old wounds that have festered over. We’re going to try to keep it civil, but that doesn’t mean bottling things up.” Kevin said sternly, “I think you both have been taught to swallow things down. This is the chance to air things out.” Kevin let out a breath, “We’ll start big with the leading up to the day and the day Sam left for college.” Dean couldn’t help but reach for Cas’s hand then, holding it tightly.

“I wasn’t a bad kid.” Sam said, staring at his hands, “I know you kept me from being arrested, but I was a high school kid. We go out, party, and do dumb things. The response was extreme. That getting clear kids boot camp was hell on earth. It was full of people who were—not like me.” Sam said, “I got beaten up multiple times while I was there. We had to sleep outside most days. The counselor basically said we’d all end up in jail because we were all delinquents. And I came back home and—and it was like neither one of you wanted to hear it. I was essentially tortured for three weeks and it was brushed off. So, I figured if Ruby didn’t want to see me anymore, and neither did you guys—I’d make a clean break. I thought it would force you to understand how serious I was about leaving and never coming back. But Bobby freaked out about you. And I—I figured it was best to leave like I planned. It was on my terms. I thought space is what we needed. You didn’t want to come to California anyway, this was a chance to get a new bond.” He said it so nonchalantly. Like it was easy to go to Walmart and get a new alpha bond. He was quiet and Kevin looked over to Dean. Dean took a deep breath, trying to unlock his jaw. He took a sip of water. Sam glared at him.

“And you get all quiet! You don’t say anything. Like I just said all that and nothing?”

“Sam.” Kevin chastised.

“Sorry.” Sam moved back in his seat.

Dean blinked a few times and took a deep breath and then another, “M-my A-AR-RS f-flares up a-around a-alphas b-but e-especially y-you n-now a-and th-then. D-didn’t know w-why a-at the time. I usually c-couldn’t s-speak.”

“Dean, what type of ARS have you been diagnosed with?” Kevin asked.

“C-Complex a-and Chronic ARS.” Dean answered. It was the type he would never recover from completely. He would probably always have a stutter around alphas. It was something he was beginning to accept.

“What does that mean?” Sam asked, an edge to his voice.

“He will have ARS symptoms for the rest of his life.” Kevin answered, “The complex is saying that there are a multitude of ways the illness presents itself—such as the stutter, but there are other symptoms as well such as either hyper instincts, or hypo instincts, when it comes to nesting. A stutter around alphas, or just about anyone. It can cause infertility in severe cases. Chronic means that it won’t go away completely, it can just be reduced.”

Dean remembered one of his things from Missouri he wanted to say, so he took a breath, “I d-don’t th-ink y-you ever saw m-me as an o-omega. J-just as y-your br-brother. M-most times I d-didn’t mind, b-but it n-negative im-pacted my con-d-dition.” Another thing he and Missouri talked about was making Sam aware how many of his decisions effected Dean.

“Can you elaborate on that a bit Dean?” Kevin asked, Sam shot his therapist a look but nodded.

“Y-you made f-fun of my s-stutter. M-made my h-heats be a-alone.” Dean forced his voice through the stutter. He would talk about this. He would. Just so it could all be out in the open, “M-made me h-ide my p-pack b-bond.”

“I just wanted to be a normal kid. Kids my age weren’t alphas to their older brothers.”

“B-but your choice n-negative i-i-i-impacted m-my instincts.” Dean replied, “O-omegas need a b-bond.” Dean took a deep breath and Cas rubbed the back of his hand. His face looked impassive, but Dean knew he was anything but, “The d-day you t-tore y-y-y-” Dean swallowed, tears in his eyes. His jaw was threatening to lock again, so he took a deep breath. It was quiet, “I thought I w-was d-dying. D-didn’t m-move for a m-month. C-couldn’t—” Dean stopped again, pushing his palms into his eyes to stop the tears.

He barely remembered that time. Bobby had carried him to his bed and barely left his side for a month. He brought out a wheel chair to get him in and out of the shower. He was basically comatose. The only thing that snapped him out of it was Bobby threatening to take him to the hospital, where they would no doubt take him away from Bobby. But the next three months were still a blur. A hazy memory he had no need to poke. He just could remember the pain, “After everything D-Dad p-put us through, I n-never th-ought y-you w-would be that c-cruel.” Dean said between clenched teeth.

“Is that true?” Sam demanded Kevin with a scoff, “Some of that has to be bull shit. An omega can’t just fall apart like that with no bond. Ruby was fine! That’s dramatic.” Sam turned to Kevin, “See? This is what I was talking about. I get a dramatized version of events and I can’t see through to the logic of it.”

“Ok, we’re going to pause.” Kevin told Sam, “I asked Dean on purpose what his diagnoses was so you would hear it Sam. His diagnosis is very serious. If Dean was diagnosed with cancer, you would not expect him just to be fine. Ruby is one example, but she is a case study of one person. Logically, you cannot expand that to every omega.”

“In f-four y-years y-you b-bit me t-wice.” Dean was staring at his hands, and then looked to Sam, “You w-were m-more worried about y-your friends a-and how they w-would see y-you. Y-you b-believed R-Ruby o-over m-me. I t-t-told y-you—” Dean squeezed his eyes shut. His chest felt tight. He took a deep breath, sure that Sam was saying something but he couldn’t hear it. He held up his hands for a time out.

“Ok. I think that’s a good idea. Sam, why don’t you come with me to the back room. Castiel, there is a nest room right over there.” Dean’s legs moved on their own with Cas guiding his shoulders in the right direction. He was glad there was a sink, because he immediately got sick into it. Thankfully, it was just water since he had thrown up already. He wretched again, Cas rubbing his back. He pulled away briefly, which made Dean involuntarily whine. Cas pulled a blanket over the two of them. It had no other smells on it, so Dean could only smell the two of them.

“Fuck.” Dean growled, pushing back against the wall and sitting on the ground. Cas sat down next to them, adjusting the blanket so it was still covering the both of them.  

“Right here, Dean.” Cas said gently, holding him close. He took Dean’s left hand and pulled it out. The bite on it was only a few days old. Cas held out his hand that was also freshly bitten, “Our alpha would rather fly economy than give you up.”

The dry humor was enough to shock Dean out of his spiraling and it made Dean laugh. Cas and Dean sat giggling together, and anytime they thought they were done, they would make eye contact and just start laughing again.

Dean wiped his eyes from tears of laughter after a few minutes, “God, I needed that.”

“You are incredible.” Cas told him, “So brave and strong.”

“Shut up.” Dean growled, knocking his leg against Cas’s.

“I am very proud of you.” Cas said very seriously. Dean groaned, knocking him over so they were both lying on the ground, “I will not stop, Dean.” So Dean kissed him to stop talking. It wasn’t sexual, but for the intimacy. Cas seemed to understand, pulling him close, “We can leave now, if this is where you want to stop.”

Dean was already shaking his head, “Only way out i-is through.”

“Back into the valley of death?” Castiel asked, echoing the words from his parent’s New Year’s Party. His smile was soft in the light underneath the blanket. It was the quiet smile that Dean got without Castiel’s icy exterior. The one that melted just for him.

“F-forward the light brigade.” Dean answered.

They got up and walked back into the main room. Kevin and Sam were already sitting back where they were. Sam’s face was red like he had been crying. Dean looked over at Cas, whose hair was all over the place from the blanket. Dean snorted, “Alpha.” He pulled at Cas and helped fix his hair.

“I think, now, we might change gears a bit.” Kevin said as they sat back down, “And fill in one another about what you two have been up to for the past few years. Dean, why don’t you go ahead and start us off?”

“O-okay should I n-not talk a-about m-managing m-my ARS?” Dean asked Kevin.

“You should.” Kevin said strongly, looking at Sam briefly who meekly nodded.

“Worked at B-Bobby’s. I n-needed t-time off d-depending on m-my flair ups. Working with c-cars was the b-best because didn’t n-need to s-speak to anyone. Shop kn-new to t-talk for me.” He looked over at Cas who was staring at him and squeezed Dean’s hand. It was easier to look at Cas and tell it than Sam, “C-cars don’t e-expect m-met to t-talk.” He grinned at the alpha who smiled encouragingly back at him, “F-first year w-without S-S-S-S—goddamn it—Sam” Dean growled, “Was the h-hardest. D-didn’t c-come out for a w-week of Thanksg-giving. That w-was after I already knew he w-wasn’t coming home. C-Cain had been getting w-work d-done at the g-garage for a b-bit. He c-ccame around to the g-garage, offered to have m-me work on his s-ick ass collection of v-vehicles at his house. S-Said it d-didn’t matter what t-times I came. I knew I was a b-burden on the s-shop because I w-would d-drop shifts, so this w-was an easy yes.”

“T-two years after y-you l-left.” Dean managed to spit out and swallowed tight, “W-went to C-Cain’s for dinner a-a-and t-t-t-t-totally f-freaked. Colette had to use a b-blanket on me t-to calm down.”

“Sorry, Dean.” Kevin said, and Dean looked away from Cas and over to the therapist, “You went two years without a bond?”

Dean nodded, “Little o-over, but yeah.”

Kevin paled, “Please continue.”

“G-got bad again this p-past fall” When Sam said he wasn’t coming back again, “W-Went to the o-omega shelter f-for h-help.” Dean looked over to his alpha who smiled back, “G-got me to b-bond with my alpha. C-Couldn’t believe a-anyone would w-want me. But C-Cain and C-Colette were—are—ten-tenacious fuckers,” Dean shook his head and looked at his pack mark, “Had our m-misfits Thanksgiving. Then m-met Cas’s family f-for New Years. It was h-horrible, but we m-made it work.” He nudged Cas, “My birthday p-present was Cas ‘n his pack j-joining our p-pack. And B-Benny and A-andrea and the pup too. Cain told e-everyone it was cause o-of m-me. Dumb. N-Now I g-got an alpha w-who wants me.”

“You are staying in his pack then?” Sam asked. His face was too flat, but Dean felt his chest tighten.

“I have t-to.” Dean replied, “D-Doc says ‘m too unstable f-for another a-alpha b-bond.” Dean pushed up his sleeve, revealing the Mark of Cain. Dean was sure he would be bitten again once Cain saw him after this. The thrum of his bond was strong. Because Cain had given him all of this. Even the opportunity to heal the relationship with his brother. He looked at Sam, “W-wouldn’t want any other alpha anyway.”

Sam stood up and walked out of the room.

Kevin watched the door close and turned to Dean, “I’ll just—go check on him.” He darted out of the room, leaving Cas and Dean alone.

“How are you holding up?”

Dean shrugged, knocking his knee against Cas, “Thanks f-for being here.” Cas intertwined their fingers and kissed the back of Dean’s hand. Dean knew it meant that he would never be anywhere else.

It was several minutes later where Dean got a bit antsy. Kevin finally popped his head back in.

“Sam is done with conversation for the day,” Kevin said.

“Oh.” Dean’s shoulders fell.

Kevin looked at Dean, “Sam argues like a lawyer. I tell him that all the time and he takes it as a complement. But my point is that with people, you can’t win a case. Or winning a case might mean you lose the relationship, or break it beyond recognition. Sam, I believe, thought he was holding a trump card of being your alpha. And he just found out that the card was invaluable and he ‘lost’, so he isn’t taking it very well.” Kevin let out a breath, “But I do know that he still wants a relationship with you, once he can figure that out. So now that I have your cell phone number, maybe we can connect again for more follow up sessions?”

“I’d l-like that.” Dean nodded.

“Maybe ones with Missouri as well. I quite like her.” Kevin admitted.

“Me too.” Dean said with a small grin. He paused for a bit, hesitating to ask the question but he did anyway, “Does Sam know y-you’re an omega?”

Kevin’s face got wide, “You can tell? I usually block my scent really well. Plus, my scent doesn’t smell overwhelmingly like an omega.”

Dean shrugged, “Maybe I can j-just notice like.”

“Interesting theory.” Kevin’s eyes sparkled at the thought, “I wonder if that is true. But no, he hasn’t been able to tell. He thinks I’m a beta, which is better because then he doesn’t hold back as much omega vitriol. But today shocked me, admittedly.”

“Ruby b-burrowed deep.” Dean told him, “She’s ‘n omega. She hated omegas.”

“Self-hatred can sometimes be the cruelest. And she confirmed all his worst tendencies.” Kevin sighed, “I’ll tell Sam about this conversation so he knows that we can still move forward from here. Do you know your way to your alpha?”

Dean smiled brightly, “I do.”

Castiel squeezed his hand, and they walked down the hall towards the nesting room. Dean could already feel his instincts going into hyper drive, his fingers itching. He opened the door to find a very stressed-out alpha who had clearly run his fingers through his hair a few hundred times.

“He’s back Colette, call you soon.” Cain said, hanging up quickly. Dean started grabbing blankets, moving the alphas as he needed to get around them. He definitely growled at one of them when they tried to help—or do something other than stand there. The room was full of Cain’s smell. His firewood paired perfectly with the cold winter of Cas that was slowly seeping its way throughout the room. It made Dean want to curl up in the nest. But he had to make a few finishing touches before he made both of them take off their shoes. Eventually he pushed both alphas back into the nest. There was a perfect spot for Dean right in the middle. He slipped off his own boots before crawling into the space between them, practically laying on top of Cain. He could feel Cain talking, but he didn’t really listen. Someone pulled a blanket up. He trusted that Cas would tell Cain everything. Cain’s grip was tight along his shoulders as he fell asleep.

The sound of a door closing woke him back up. He snuffed, digging his nose into his alpha’s scent.

“You back with us, Dean?” Cain asked. He looked up at his alpha and nodded, then over to Cas who was curled up behind him.

“Yeah.” His voice was rough with sleep, “How long w-was I out?”

Cain looked at his phone, “About thirty minutes.” Dean rolled onto his back, nestling between the two of them, “How are you feeling?” Dean just hummed, “Cas let me know what happened.” Dean nodded, “So, it’s 8:30. There is a 10:50 flight back home. If we hustle, we can make it if you’d rather head back? Or we can stay at the hotel if that’s too much.”

“Home.” Dean replied, immediately scrambling to get up.

“Let me make a call.” Cain called his personal assistant. People would pack up their stuff at the hotel and bring it to them at the airport, which Dean felt weird about but he also wanted to be home. He confirmed their bookings before hanging up, all three of their phones pinged with an email with their new confirmation number. All three had their shoes on and were ready to leave.

Cain looked a little sheepish when he looked at them, “They had two business class tickets and one first class. I figured you two would want to sit next to each other.”

Dean just laughed. He pulled his alpha into a tight hug, “I love you, alpha.” Cain squeezed him back just as tightly.

“I was scared you would—that you might want to go back.” Cain confessed. Dean scoffed.

“Not g-getting rid of me.” Dean told him.

“I never want to.” Cain replied. Dean saw his alpha standing to the side, so he used one hand to pull him close as well and join the hug. He huffed a laugh, but Cain wrapped his arm around him too, “Alright, let’s go home.”

Chapter Text

Dean woke up feeling a bit hot. He rolled over in his bed, happy to be home. They made it back late the night before, not getting home until after one in the morning. His phone said it was noon, which surprised Dean that he slept that long. Cas’s side of the bed was empty and cold, so he figured the alpha had gotten up a few hours ago. He buried his nose in the alpha’s pillow, not wanting to get up quite yet. He let out a slow breath and looking at the fresh bite on his arm. It was weird that he didn’t feel horrible after speaking with Sam. Or maybe it wasn’t. That conversation a year ago would have left him in his room for a month. But now? Now he was just happy that he wasn’t in Sam’s pack. It had been a liberating conversation. But now he could have a relationship with his brother only if they both wanted one. He stretched his arms and then pulled himself out of bed. When he walked into the kitchen, Andrea was feeding Murphey on the couch looking a bit exhausted. Colette was placing a cup of coffee next to her free hand, since one was keeping Murphey close to her breast. They moved into the house the same time as Cas and his pack. 

“Hey!” Andrea greeted. Colette had seen him when he got in the previous night.

“How is she doing?” Dean asked.

“Draining me dry.” Andrea confessed, “She was up every other thirty minutes last night. We heard you guys get in, but didn’t want you to have to deal with a screaming baby.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t.” He brushed the back of Murphey’s head, “You’re t-too much of an angel.”

Andrea snorted, “Benny left for the restaurant this morning with purple eyes. Poor man looked exhausted.”

“We’re here to help, Drea.” Colette said with a hand on her hip, “That means on the night shifts when you’re tired. Just tap one of us in, okay?”  

Dean nudged her leg, “Pack.”

Her eyes filled with tears and Dean looked to Colette in a panic. Andrea started to cry. Colette was immediately at her side. Dean pat her knee, feeling a bit awkward.

“S‘okay.” Dean murmured.

“I-I’m just so happy.” Andrea said, which threw Dean for a freakin’ loop, “Everyone is so kind and wants to help.” She sniffed so Dean went to go do something useful like get her tissues. He grabbed a box on the other end table and handed her three of them. He kept the box close, “I just—we have been struggling with just the two of us. I c-came from a big pack and i-it’s all we wanted and now we have it.” She cried harder. Murphey seemed to be finished eating, so Dean scooped her out of the way while Colette gave Andrea a hug. He grabbed the burp cloth and flung it over his shoulder. He held her high enough so she could look around because she got bored if she only stared at a shoulder. Dean bounced her around gently, patting her back until she burped and managed to spit up onto the towel. He turned her around to clean her up a bit and kept on walking around. Andrea was still crying onto Colette’s shoulder with one boob out.

“We’re g-gunna let your Mom hang f-for a bit.” Dean told Murphey, wondering where Castiel had gotten up to. He walked down the hall to look through other parts of the house and found Cas in the formal dining room. He set up a makeshift office, his computer out with pages spread out over half the table. His eyes brightened when they saw Dean and Murphey.

“You steal a baby Dean?” He asked, his eyes crinkled at the sides as he smiled.

“Yes. A cute one that a-apparently d-doesn’t like to sleep.” Dean said, still rocking the baby as he walked slowly, “Don’t b-be getting a-any ideas though alpha.”

Castiel barked a laugh, “I wasn’t. She seems a terror enough in her own right.” Dean leaned down to kiss him as he walked past, “How are you feeling?”

“Good.” Dean confirmed, “A-achy though. Dunno if it’s ARS or preheat.” That caused Castiel to pause, turning completely from his computer screen.

“That’s early.” Then Cas tilted his head, “Well, you have never had a regular schedule. So, a bit presumptuous to say if it’s early. I’ll start tracking your cycles to see if you even out. This would be on the early end of a heat cycle, but maybe you always are.” He was typing something in his computer.

“That’s Doctor Cas.” Dean told Murphey, “He m-makes all his little d-doctor notes about us. M’sure you g-got a file too.”

Castiel smiled, “She sure does. The whole pack does.” He said proudly, “Colette helped.”

“’Course she did.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Dean?” Andrea wandered down the hall looking a bit better, her face still red, “I can take her.”

“I g-got her.” Dean twisted so he was between Andrea and Murphey.

“You sure?” She asked.

“Dean and I got her.” Colette promised, “Take a nap.” Colette shuttled her back to her room as Andrea explained how to feed Murphey. She had already explained it a few times, plus written it down near the refrigerator in case anyone forgot. Murphey started to get fussy, so Dean started walking around again and left Castiel to his work. Dean made himself something to eat while watching Murphey. He put her in a bouncer chair so she could watch him make breakfast.

“Sorry darlin’” Dean apologized as he bit into his bacon, egg and cheese bagel, “This is for people with teeth.” Her grabby hands still reached out laughing.

Eventually, Colette came to take Murphey from him so Dean could get some work done. He had a few projects in Cain’s garage that needed to get finished. Though he really wanted to go to Bobby’s garage, he wasn’t quite sure he could leave the house. The longer he worked, the more he was sure that his heat was going to start soon.

He pulled up the pack group text, which was on silent on Dean’s phone. Not because he didn’t love it, because he did. But if he kept it off silent, he would be getting buzzed every other minute all day. The down side of having so many pack members meant constant texting. He scanned through to make sure he hadn’t missed anything important before texting:

Pack dinner? Burgers tonight at 7:30. Dean announced with a gif of Patrick Star from SpongeBob inhaling crabby patties. It was followed by a bunch of likes of the text.

Can Charlie come? Ana asked.

Fine by me. Dean answered. He put the phone back down, looking at the vehicle again. He had made a mess, pulling one of Cain’s cars apart. He needed to put it all back together. He let out a sigh and then got back to work.

“Dean?” It was getting towards time to start making dinner, but not quite yet. Castiel was standing in the garage doorway.

“Yeah?” He slid out from underneath one of the vehicles he was working on. Castiel grinned at him.

“You are covered in grease.” Dean rolled his eyes, getting back up on his feet.

“I’ll g-get clean before di-dinner.” He promised.

“I got some things for your heat, I wanted to show you if you have time?” Castiel asked and Dean nodded. It would probably have to be now if he wanted it to happen before his heat anyway. He would have to tell Cain he couldn’t drive that car for now, which wouldn’t be too much of a problem since he had several others. But Cain always seemed to want to drive the one Dean was working on. The two walked back into the house and to Dean’s room where there were a few boxes.

“Looks l-like you went overboard, alpha.” Dean said with a smile.

Castiel scoffed, pulling Dean close by his belt buckle, “You deserve it.” Dean rolled his eyes and looked at the first box, “It’s a nest tent.” Castiel explained, “we slide the base under the mattress, and then it goes over top of the entire bed as a tent.” It looked like it was made out of tent like material and was a dark grey, “You like to burrow when you nest and have it dark, so I thought the tent would help. That way you can have pillows along the edge without them falling off. This one, you can unzip the top off if you’d like.” Dean’s jaw dropped.

“D-didn’t know this was s-something I could g-get.” Dean looked at his alpha and hugged him tightly.

“You like it?” Dean just nodded, “Want to help me put it together?” Dean grinned, kissing his jaw.

It was a lot like a tent, with poles and everything. It made Dean feel slightly like a little kid who needed rails along their bed from falling out, but Cas reminded him it was for the pillows, not for Dean. They put the top section on as well, which left enough room to sit in the middle of his bed, but not much else. He also got all of his toys out, placed on chargers. He had an alpha this time around, but toys were teammates and not competition.

“My other gift, it’s open but that’s sort of the point.” Cas motioned to a bag and Dean found a blanket, “It’s the heaviest weighted blanket I could find. And then I had Cain and Colette sleep with it, so their smells are all over it.”

“How l-long have you been plan-planning this alpha?” Dean looked over at Castiel.

Cas’s cheeks were a bit pink and he shrugged, “I hoped before you asked. So I started looking around. Then when you asked, I had a cart full of stuff I was ready to check out.” Dean kissed him. His toes curled in his socks as he pressed up against Castiel. The smell of pine got stronger, and Dean wanted nothing more than to push Cas back into the nest.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

“You’re welcome, Dean.” Castiel answered.

“Want t-to help me make d-dinner?” Dean asked.

“I’ve been told that I am an excellent sou chef.” Dean snorted, but pulled the alpha along to the kitchen.

He was running a bit behind schedule, but it was worth it to have everything set up. He got the friers all set up as Cas helped him cut potatoes and onion rings. Ana was dabbling at being vegetarian, so he made her impossible burgers first and then got to making the rest.

“You can do this alpha.” Dean kissed his cheek, “Just pull them out when the timer goes off.”

“How can I help?” Cain asked as he walked into the kitchen. Dean put him to work as well. Pack members came trickling in, opening a beer and sitting across from Dean as he worked or helping with dinner. Gabe replaced Castiel at the frier, who frequently got distracted and didn’t listen to the timer. He brought home extras from the bakery for dessert. Andrea came down holding Murphey, who would get put to bed soon so she was in her pajamas and fresh from a bath.

“I made it!” Benny announced as he came into the kitchen, looking like he was half asleep. He was training a new chef so that he could take some time off when he wanted. He wrapped an arm around Dean’s shoulders, “How can I help, cher?”

“Sitting down.” Dean replied.

“They won’t let you do anything.” Andrea said, holding a glass of wine in her hands. Colette was taking Murphey away from her.

“Everyone say goodnight!” She said cheerfully, kissing Murphey’s cheek.

“Goodnight Murphey!” Pack members called.

“Are you sure?” Andrea asked.

“I’ve gotten hundreds of babies to sleep.” Colette promised, “We will be fine. Watch on your monitor if you’re worried.”

The large kitchen table had enough spots for everyone, so the food was piled onto the center. There were two huge bins of fries with different seasonings and a vat of onion rings next to a row of dipping sauces. There was a large bowl of brussels sprouts and a salad, which Dean had someone who liked salads make. Alcohol was making its way around the table, with a few cocktails that Ana and Charlie made.

Dean sat down next to Cas, who placed a beer in front of him. He grinned gratefully at the alpha. It was chaos. People were all talking over one another as they reached and grabbed for food. Colette eventually came back after successfully putting Murphey to bed and threw elbows to get a frightening amount of onion rings. It was everything Dean hoped for when he texted. Being around everyone made his heart full.

“We need to schedule more pack dinners.” Ana said, “I want to eat this good all the time.” She grinned around her impossible burger.

“Oh, we could rotate who is in charge of food!” Colette added.

“I can make a schedule.” Andrea volunteered, “It’s something I can do one handed while nursing, so it’s perfect.” She joked.

“Would we be required to cook if it’s our turn?” Cas asked apprehensively. Dean snorted before he could help it and Gabe cackled.

“For all of our sakes, let’s go with no.” Gabriel told the alpha, “And if anyone cooks and/or bakes for a living, bringing food home from work is a perfectly acceptable option.” He looked over to Benny who was nodding.

“We can’t have a dinner of only baked goods.” Colette told Gabriel and then started to rethink it, “I mean—maybe? Not all the time.”

“I have some savory baked goods!” Gabriel defended himself.

Dean nearly wanted to purr he was so content. With all of his pack around, even as they bickered with one another, kept from passing fries in order to get more of their own, and poked fun. It was exactly what he needed. He piled another burger on his plate and grabbed more fixings.

“What prompted this dinner?” Benny asked, who managed to get the basket of fries away from Charlie to add more to his plate, “I ain’t mad, but is somethin’ goin’ on?”

“Heat.” Dean answered, his cheeks turning pink without his permission, “J-just wanted everyone around.”

Andrea hummed, “That’s another thing we should add to a group calendar.”

“Gabe’s are not regular.” Doctor Castiel volunteered, and said omega whacked his shoulder.

“That’s my information to volunteer.” He corrected the alpha who blushed.

“I have calendar of everyone’s.” Cas told Andrea, “More time windows, but I can send it along.”

“I think a group calendar with everyone’s schedule would be nice.” Colette said, “That way we will know what’s going on—and you can send calendar invites to any important things.” They continued to chatter on as more drinks were passed around. Dean wasn’t drinking more than two beers, since he was worried how it would react with his heat.

“Anything we can do for you, cher?” Benny asked, looking at Dean, “Make heat easier?”

Dean shrugged, “S-still new a-at this.”

“Last time he was very cuddly.” Colette said with a grin at Dean and a wink, who flushed red, “Mostly just wanted to nap and nest. But he didn’t want to be alone too often.”

Andrea laughed, “I am the opposite. Don’t get near me with a ten-foot pole. Poor Benny has to sleep in another room usually. I get so hot. I don’t want to be around anyone.”

“I just like to fuck.” Gabe said with a smile which made everyone laugh.

“That is not true Gabe, you are the biggest snuggler I have ever met.” Ana said with smile.

“That’s only because you haven’t met you.” Gabe told her.

Ana looked outraged, turning to look at Charlie, “Sorry, babe. You are.”

Dean continued to eat as everyone argued. He put away another burger, which was sign enough that his heat was starting. Everyone was starting to pick up plates and clean off the table, but Dean was still munching. He didn’t have to clean up since he cooked. Once he nearly licked his plate clean, he forced Cain to sit down on the couch so he could curl up next to him.

“Do you want to go back to your nest?” Cain asked, pulling the blanket up.

“No. Want to be ‘round e-everyone.” Dean told him. Dean stopped paying attention to the conversations going on around him, it was taking too much energy to keep up anyway. His alpha smelled content, and he wanted to soak that up. He loved hearing everyone talk, the smiles in their voices. Cain gently moved him a time or two, but otherwise kept him close. Someone picked up his feet and slid underneath them to sit on the couch. They continued to rub his calf a bit as they sat. It wasn’t like he was asleep, but he wasn’t quite awake either. His eyes were closed as he breathed in the scent of his alpha.

“Was Dean like this the last time?” He heard his name from Andrea.

“Yeah.” Colette answered, “Like I said before, just mostly wanted to snuggle and be around pack. I guess I don’t realize how much more he talks; last time he was already so quiet all the time, he would just come up to you and do this.” She was the one that was sitting by his feet because she pat his legs.

“It’s like having a toddler. Or a drunk friend.” Charlie said with a snort, which Dean didn’t mind being compared to at all. They moved on from talking about him, so he stopped paying attention.

When the smell of snow got close, he opened his eyes, “Everyone is headed to bed, you ready?” Dean nodded, pulling himself away from Cain. He kept the blanket that was around him as he followed his alpha back into his room.

He was so glad Castiel had gotten the nest tent. He forgot about it at some point during dinner. Dean started to pull clothes off of his alpha, pushing him into the tent once he was down to his briefs. He did the same and crawled in after him.

“Can I draw blood from you a few times during your heat?” Castiel asked as Dean curled up on his chest. Dean looked up at the alpha, “I just want to make sure all levels are what they should be.”

“Yeah.” Dean nodded. Cas gently tugged him up so he moved where he was laying down next to Cas, “You gotta serious look alpha.”

“We talked about mating.” Castiel said and Dean tensed.

“I-I don’t think ‘m r-ready yet.” Dean managed to say, withdrawing his leg from over Cas’s.

“Ok.” Cas pulled him back, “I wanted to make sure you weren’t hoping for it during this heat and I didn’t bite.” Dean relaxed into his arms and kissed his lips, “Is it alright if I call you mate? I know we’re not yet, but—it—doesn’t matter if you have a bite or not to me.” Dean’s chest felt warm as he wrapped an arm around his alpha, nodding his answer. Of course.

“Love you.” Dean murmured into Cas’s collarbone.

“I love you too.”

Dean woke up and immediately reached for his alpha. Alpha was reading a book that he closed as Dean’s grabby hands wound their way around him. This time, arousal wasn’t as scary as it had been the last heat. The smell of pine intensified as Dean slipped off his own briefs, tossing them to the side. They were a bit wet, so he was sure to regret it later but at the moment he had other plans. His alpha pushed him back, so he easily submitted to him. His arousal was warm in his belly, but nothing that needed to be rushed. And it seemed like the alpha wanted to take his time. Dean’s arms were pinned down as he gently kissed his neck, which made Dean whine.

“Easy.” The reply was low and thick, settling Dean back down. He ached, but it was not a concern. Because he knew that it would be taken care of eventually. He liked the idea of eventually as black hair moved down his chest. Dean’s entire body was tingling and hot. When one finger slid up inside of him, he purred. It wasn’t enough, but his alpha would get to the point eventually. The sounds coming from him were positively sinful. His alpha moved him up and slid something beneath his ass.

“Good boy.” The praise had Dean’s toes curling and his cock twitched.

“More, alpha.” Dean demanded. The responding chuckle Dean felt in his core as he pressed up into his lips. When Dean reached for his own cock, his hand was swatted away. He pouted.

“None of that, omega.” It was purred so deliciously Dean nearly forgot what he was trying to do. He wanted to please his alpha. Two fingers were slid into him as he looked up at bright blue eyes. Blue eyes that anchored him, refuged him, and allowed him to let go all at the same time. One’s that he trusted and saw the deepest part of his soul. But it went both ways. They laid themselves bare and accepted each other for all the bits they didn’t like, and all the ones that they did.

“You’re mine.” It was whispered into Dean’s ear like a promise. It made Dean tighten his grip, pulling him even closer.

“Mate.” Dean hummed. His alpha’s cock slid into him, making him arch his back as he groaned. Those blue eyes never left his for a moment, the smell of pine, snow and sex in the air was perfect. He wanted this moment to last forever, safe in their cocoon from the rest of the world.

“Mate.” The response was growled with a thrust. They moved together slowly, still in no rush to end anything. His alpha pushed back his hair and ran his thumb along his jaw. Dean felt sweat drip onto his chest, he pulled closer. Warmth curled up in his belly as he easily tipped over the edge as praise was murmured into his ear. He couldn’t really grasp the words, but it didn’t much matter. He knew he was cared for, loved. It was praise he would usually shy away from, or force his alpha to shut up. But in this state, he couldn’t help but bask in the glow of it.

“Knot.” He managed to growl.

“Yes, my omega. My love.” His alpha purred. Strong hands gripped his waist and pulled him closer. Dean couldn’t breathe as the knot began to fill, catching on his rim. He was so sensitive from already coming that every touch just hurtled him closer to the edge again. He didn’t think he even went soft. His alpha thrust inside him, filling him up and it was just the right side of too much to push him over. He knew his alpha would take care of him as he purred, luxuriating in being locked with his mate. His alpha kissed along his collarbone, nipping a bit as he moved.

His knot went down too soon in Dean’s opinion, whining when he slipped free. He ached, but it wasn’t enough to do anything about it.

“Shower, omega.” He was gently pulled out of the nest. It took a second because alpha took some of his blood quickly. He sat in sort of a dream like state at the end of the bed, waiting for the alpha to finish putting everything away. Once his blood was somewhere contained and safe, his alpha led him into the large shower. He turned the water on then ran his fingers through Dean’s hair as they waited for it to heat up. It was a gentle come down, purring up against the alpha who pulled him toward the hot water. He was sticky all over the place and was grateful the second he stepped into the warm stream, “Coming back to me?”

“Yeah.” Dean said, looking at Castiel as he stepped into the shower behind him.

“You think you will need to be knotted again soon?” Castiel asked and Dean nodded.

“L-longer knot.” Dean said, using the shower gel and wash cloth. He wouldn’t bother with his hair for now. This was more about getting clean quickly so they could get dirty again.

Castiel snorted, “I’m not a young man anymore, but maybe in rut. But once I go down, we can use the toy?”

Dean nodded, “Vibrate too.” He purred, “F-feels good. Low s-setting.” Castiel kissed him and the ache was back again. He rinsed off and then pushed his alpha under the steam to rinse off as well. Dean hummed before turning off the shower and forced the alpha back out. He took his time drying off his alpha, who was content to let Dean do whatever he wanted. They went back into the nest, which had part of it unzipped assumedly to air it out. Dean fixed it as he directed his alpha back inside. He couldn’t help but growl when the alpha walked away, but relaxed when he saw him grab the knot toy. Once he zipped it back up, he climbed into the nest. Dean was already dripping again, feeling the haze of heat take over. He crawled on top of the alpha, grinding against him. His strong hands gripped Dean’s him, guiding them to move slowly. Precum dripped from his hard cock onto the alpha’s stomach. This time when he reached for Dean’s cock, it was Dean who swatted him away.

The ache was getting more persistent and harsher than before, demanding him to take his alpha. It was a sharp pain that was difficult to ignore. If Dean had been alone, the consuming nature of it would have been terrifying. He would have frozen. But he wasn’t alone. So he slid the alpha inside of him and the relief was nearly instant. He sighed as he tipped his head back. His alpha’s hands on his hips help guide him. This angle hit something inside him that was deeply satisfying. He continued to roll his hips, his cock brushing his alpha’s stomach just enough to bring pleasure. Anything more was too harsh and sensitive. His pleasure took secondary to needing a knot. As soon as it started swelling inside him, Dean begged.

“Please alpha, alpha please.” He could barely keep up with what he was saying, but it didn’t particularly matter. The soft cooing from his alpha stopped as he growled, holding Dean’s hips still as he fucked up inside of him. At the angle, he could feel as the knot began to grow. It rubbed in all the right places as Dean’s breath got short. Dean felt like his lungs were too big for his chest, and he keened once the knot locked inside him. Suddenly, his hand couldn’t get to his cock fast enough. It was drenched in precum and his hand flew over it. He rocked back on the knot, letting it fill him up as he spilled all over his alpha.

His alpha was talking to him calmly, but he didn’t pay attention to it. He continued to squeeze the knot inside of him, letting himself relax. His hand didn’t leave his cock, cupping it as it softened and continuing to rub it. It tingled up his spine and warmed him to his core. He continued to gently touch himself until he got hard again. His alpha was cursing beneath him, pushing his knot deep inside Dean. He could barely touch his cock head it was so sensitive, his body twitching slightly when his hand went too far. But that spot right beneath it felt so good. Dean groaned probably too loudly as he came. His orgasm was sharper than before and that much more delicious. He rocked back on his alpha’s cock and could not help the loud whine that escaped him as he felt the knot loosening.

“It’s ok, omega.” Alpha cooed, “I got you. Just sit up for me a second.” The silicone toy inserted wasn’t nearly as great as his cock, but the whining stopped as soon as the knot began to inflate. He yelped in surprise as it locked, vibrating too high as his alpha frantically pushed the buttons to lower it, forcing an orgasm he didn’t expect. His alpha apologized multiple times, rubbing his back. He moved Dean carefully onto his back and he purred as the knot moved deep inside him. His alpha mouthed at his cock, taking him down but not too aggressively. He pushed the knot deeper into him.

Dean didn’t know how long he basked in his alpha’s attention. He felt like the tide, just riding in and cresting wave after wave. It was slow moving, but each one was just as beautiful as the next. Eventually, his alpha took the plastic knot out and replaced it with his own. As soon as he came inside Dean again, Dean came one last time and promptly passed out.

Dean rolled over and pressed his nose to Castiel’s stomach. His hand was in Dean’s hair, so he looked up to Cas. He was wearing his glasses, nose in a book as per usual.

“Hey.” Dean said and flushed, “Sorry I was a bit out of it.”

“Don’t apologize.” Cas tugged on him so Dean crawled up to be on his eye level, “That was the hottest thing that I have ever seen or has ever happened to me.” Dean snorted, “It was. I’ll masturbate to that memory for the rest of my life.” Dean hid his grin in the alpha’s neck, nipping at his collarbone, “I took your blood again while you were zoned out. You didn’t seem to mind.” Dean nodded and kissed his lips.

“Gunna shower ‘nd g-go find Cain.” Dean said.

Castiel looked to his watch, “You’ve been in heat about 24 hours, how long did it last before?”

“Four days.”

“Might be longer, since that was your first one healthy—but it might be shorter because there is a strong body of scientific evidence that suggests having a companion can shorten heats. It was long thought that was only alphas, but that has been dismissed since there is just as strong a correlation between non-alphas.” Castiel shrugged, “It depends on the person and their body.”

“G-guess we’ll find out.” Dean said with a grin.

“You think I have time to run to the lab with your blood and then come back?” Castiel asked, “It doesn’t need to happen now, but I would feel better if it did.”

“I think I’ll b-be fine. If not, I got m-my toys.” Dean grinned, kissing the alpha once last time before crawling out of the nest.

“Are you sure Dean?” Castiel asked as he nearly fell coming out of the nest. Dean steadied him, his foot caught on the edge.

“Yeah, I f-feel good.” Dean still pulled him closer so he could kiss the alpha, “It’s n-not far.”

“I’ll be gone maybe twenty minutes—thirty minutes max.” Cas promised. Dean couldn’t help but smile and chuckle. This was so much different than any other heat he had ever had. His heart was so full, it felt like he could burst. He kissed his alpha, pulling his naked body close, “This is not convincing me that I can leave.” Castiel said into Dean’s lips, which made him laugh.

“I prom-m-mise I’m good alpha.” Dean tugged his hand, leading him into the shower.

Dean found Cain working in his office. The alpha grinned when he saw him, letting him curl up on his couch. Cain continued to work, brushing his hands through Dean’s hair as he fell asleep.

It was probably an hour or so later when he woke up again to Cain’s gentle nudging.

“I can stay if you’d like, but I’d like to run into work if I can.” Cain looked at Dean with a bit of concern, “It’s nothing catastrophic, but it needs my personal touch.” He grinned.

“Is Colette here?” Dean asked with a yawn.

“No, she is at work. But Cas is back.” Cain offered, “he’s in the dining room office.”

Dean stood up with a stretch, thinking he needed some pack snuggling time rather than time with his alpha. If he went to Cas, he might get horny again and he didn’t really want to do that. He walked out the door and down the hall to Gabe’s room. He knocked on the door lightly.

“Yeah?” Dean opened the door to find Gabe sitting on his bed cross legged with his laptop in his lap. Perfect. Dean didn’t really explain himself as he curled up next to the omega, who was currently editing videos for his bakery, Benny’s restaurant and Dean. Benny’s restaurant was taking off as a little well-known spot for great Louisiana food. And the man was incredibly charming on camera, so that helped boost his numbers. One of the top comments on the videos were always about the cute way he spoke about his mate and pup.

Gabe accommodated Dean easily, scratching Dean’s back with his left hand as he worked with his right. The sugary sweet omega was just what he needed and Dean fell back asleep in minutes. When he woke up again, it was hours later and it was dark outside. Gabe was asleep curled up next to him. Dean took a deep breath, breathing in the omega’s smell before slowly sliding out of his grip. It was a bit difficult, since Gabe wanted to be an octopus. But apparently, he slept like the dead because even after Dean pried his fingers open from his shirt, he didn’t wake up. Dean was wondering what woke him up when he heard a soft cry.

He slipped out of bed and went over next door, where the nursery was set up. Benny and Andrea were in the room on the other side of Murphey’s. She was having one, maybe two, feedings per night. He opened the door and saw her wide eyes staring back at him. He cooed softly, reaching in and picking her up. She immediately started to rub her head against his chest, so he took her down to the kitchen to be fed. Her schedule next to the refrigerator didn’t indicate anyone had already fed her that night, so he made a bottle according to the detailed specifications. He wrote down his name and time, so Andrea would know in case he wasn’t there to tell her when she woke up. Murphey was fussy, crying a bit as he got everything together. He didn’t seem to move fast enough for the princess, but he certainly tried.

She stopped crying as soon as the bottle was in her mouth. He grinned a bit triumphantly, walking around as she ate. Her long lashes and slightly pink eye lids just about melted Dean’s heart. He hummed to her gently as she finished eating, then maneuvered her around to burp. It was then he realized he forgot a burping cloth, but thankfully they seemed to be everywhere around the house and the kitchen had a few stacked away. He grabbed one just in time. Dean continued to hum as he maneuvered her back around, her eyelids fluttering shut. He rocked her as he walked back up to her room. She fell asleep slowly, staring up at him with those big brown eyes as they closed. Dean knew better than to put her down straight away, because Murphey liked to immediately wake up again if you put her down too soon after falling asleep. They moved together slowly around the room, moving back and forth for a good ten minutes before Dean risked putting her back down. Thankfully, Murphey barely twitched. Dean let out a slow breath, glad that Murphey was relatively easy tonight. He was sure Andrea would curse him out for it in the morning that it was unfair she was so easy for Dean.

He shut her door as quietly as possible and then made his way down to his alpha’s room. Cain and Colette were in bed asleep, so Dean did not think twice as he curled up next to Colette.

“Was wondering where you were” Colette hummed, sounding half asleep as she pulled Dean close. He fell back asleep almost as soon as his body relaxed into her embrace.

It was early morning when he woke again. The clock beside the bed read five in the morning. Cain was getting up, which is probably what woke up Dean.

“Go back to sleep.” Cain encouraged. He was putting on his undershirt into slacks, so he had to be leaving for some work reason that required his button-up shirt.  

“Hm.” Dean hummed, sitting up. Colette was curled up in between the two of them, “Nest.” He said. Cain nodded. He pulled himself out of the warmth of the bed and hoped that his alpha was waiting for him in his nest, otherwise it would be cold. Cain rubbed his scent on his head before he left for his own room.

Dean was very happy to find his alpha curled up in his nest. He crawled into the bed, curling up right next to Castiel.

“You came back.” Castiel hummed happily. Dean buried his nose into Cas’s neck and wrapped an arm around him as he threaded his legs between Cas’s, “Gabe is calling you a snapper.”

“Hm?” Dean didn’t move, but wanted more of an explanation.

“He combined snatched and napper.” Cas’s voice was amused, “You sneak in and nap on top of people—therefore a snapper.” Dean snorted, but didn’t refute the charge. He fell asleep to the gentle scratching on his back from his alpha.

He got into a bit of a routine. He would wander out to the kitchen to eat, then find someone to nap on for a few hours, then make his way back to his nest and Cas. They would either cuddle or fuck, depending on what Dean needed. During the fourth day, Dean could tell his heat symptoms were lessening. He passed out around three in the afternoon and didn’t budge again until the next morning. Getting his bedroom back in order was his top priority once he woke up, so he spent most of the time cleaning and putting everything away. Castiel had gone into work, since Dean was out of his heat.

Dean was pretty desperate to get out of the house after being cooped up, so he went to Bobby’s shop. Between the car show and his heat, he hadn’t been in the shop for a week. There was plenty to catch up on. He posted a picture to his story as he worked, because he was definitely behind on social media. Almost immediately, there were several DMs asking if he was ok and where he had been. He would just let the questions go unanswered for now, they weren’t entitled to know about his body and heat anyhow. Music piped in over the speakers that Dean enjoyed, he was glad to be back in one of his favorite places.

It had to be several hours later when his phone rang. He didn’t look at it before answering.

“This is Dean W-inchester.” He answered.

“Dean?” It was Sam, “Is this a bad time?” Dean maneuvered himself so he was sitting in the back seat of the car he was working on. Nick had asked for some custom detailed leather in the back so he was working on upholstering the ceiling.

“N-no.” Dean replied, “Just w-workin’ at the shop. Do they let y-ou have a phone?” He asked.

“I’m with Kevin.” Sam answered, “Wanted to schedule another time to talk? If you want?”

“Sure!” Dean said, “Y-you got Facetime?”

“Yeah, it’s Kevin’s work iPhone.” Sam answered. Dean pulled his phone away and put it onto video. Sam’s face came into view with the familiar background of the rehab center. Kevin’s head was poking in the background.

“Hi Dean!” Kevin waved.

“Hey Kevin.” Dean replied.

“Where are you?” Sam asked, confused.

“Car.” Dean tilted the camera to show the ceiling.

“Woah! New project? I haven’t seen that on your Instagram, I don’t think?”

“N-not this part. You saw the o-outside bones. N-not done that y-et.” Dean grinned, “It’s for Cas’s dick b-brother.”

“Why are you doing it then?” Sam asked with a laugh.

“Charged ‘em double, about.” Dean admitted sheepishly, “Told ‘em I’m do-donating the profits t-to an omega shelter in his n-ame.” Dean grinned slightly and Sam laughed. It was quiet for a bit too long, “You w-want me to l-look at my schedule?”

“I tried calling two days ago, but you didn’t answer.” Sam said. It was true because of his heat, but it wasn’t a question so Dean wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Ask him if he was concerned and that is why it took so long to get back to you.” Kevin nudged Sam’s shoulder as he said it. It helped Dean relax. Dean thought Sam was accusing him, but he was actually stating an insecurity as a fact.

Sam huffed, “I was worried when you didn’t answer my call a few days ago that you didn’t want to talk to me anymore. Was something wrong?”

 Dean shook his head, “Nah. J-just had my heat.” He wasn’t going to talk any details with Sam. He didn’t think he would ever be comfortable with that topic ever again.

“Oh.” Sam said, flushing a bit red, “So want to schedule for next week sometime?”

“I can do Tues-Tuesday a-a-afternoon? Or W-Wednesday?” Dean asked. They went through the back and forth of finding a time. Sam’s day was more flexible, but he did have some prescheduled therapy times that were mandatory.

“See you soon.” Sam said with a smile. It was hopeful. They still had so much further to go, but they were both willing to try. Dean had the support system behind him to help him if he stumbled with a boundary or failed protect himself.

“S-see y-you Wednesday, bitch.” Dean said with a grin.

“Jerk.” Sam’s laugh was a bit watery before he signed off.

“Do I got to tell you everything?” Bobby walked around the car door.

“Was t-talking to Sam.” Dean defended himself.

“Your alpha called. He’s bringing home pizzas and invited me ‘n Ellen. So the whole gang is comin’ over to your place. Better get a move on if you want a slice.”

“You and Ellen?” Dean asked with a raised brow.

“Shuttup.” Bobby growled.

“And?” Dean asked again.

“Get your nose outta my business.” Bobby whacked him with an oil rag, which only made Dean laugh. He slid out of the vehicle and hugged the beta, “Yeah, yeah. See you at the house.”

He looked at his messages and saw fifty-three missed ones all from the pack. Cain asked what types of pizzas everyone wanted and chaos had ensued. It was Friday night, so unfortunately Benny was stuck at the restaurant, but everyone else would be there. He sent a picture to the group of the kitchen, which looked busy. Dean was so proud. He texted that he was on his way home as he packed up his things and headed to the impala.

It was still cold, but it was one of those winter nights that wasn’t too frigid. Dean missed being able to roll the windows down, but he listened to some Talking Heads on the drive back—Cas had convinced him to give them a shot. Bobby had beaten him to the house, which looked like a parking lot with so many pack members cars. Dean and Cain were working on a new project to store cars so there were more parking spots for pack.

The kitchen was loud with everyone there. The pizza boxes were set up on the counter with Cain behind it. Dean wrapped one arm around Cain, leaning into his side as the pack crowded around the boxes of pizza like it was their last supper. It looked like none of them had eaten in days by the way they elbowed each other for food. Dean watched Ana shove Bobby and Ellen out of the way for a slice of veggie piece of pizza. Ash and Jo were working at the Roadhouse, but sent their regrets. Gabe just took the box of pepperoni off to the side, but made an alliance with Collette to stave off any thieves. It didn’t matter that there was plenty of pizza to go around, the competition of it all looked more important. Poor Castiel was trying to use his napkins and paper plates as negotiations for slices, but no one wanted to bargain.

“This is our p-pack.” Dean said, looking up at his alpha. His alpha that had brought him so much joy. That helped him find his voice and then so much more. A dad and big brother all wrapped into one. Someone who helped Dean trust himself again. Gave him the tools he needed and watched him thrive. And a pack full of misfits. They weren’t blood, but that didn’t matter. They found family in each other.

Cain laughed, rubbing his scent along Dean in an unconscious way. Because he would always claim Dean as his pack, “This is our pack.”