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It's not like Akaashi is completely lacking in the social skills department, but he has to admit he's not exactly the pinnacle of human interaction either. He can hold a conversation just fine and he's been called polite and pleasant once or twice, but apart from volleyball and digital art he doesn't have many interests and he's not too worried about making friends since he gets along with his team well enough. More than once he's been told he's a bit too quiet, his parents have expressed some vague concern about his lack of “youth enthusiasm” and he knows players from other teams refer to him as that one stoic setter in charge of keeping the ace and captain in check but – he thinks he's doing okay. The training camp was a nice experience and Akaashi is sure he can now count Kuroo, Lev and Hinata as people in the “acquaintances ” column. Maybe even Kenma too.
So, alright, Akaashi is familiar enough with meeting people and somehow establishing a sort of connection, if he's feeling like it (which is not that often). The problem's not there.
The thing is that liking someone beyond the acquaintance territory, past the friends area and into the minefield that is the romantic interest domain is absolutely, one hundred percent out of his comfort zone and, if he's honest, a little bit scary. Especially when the focus of said conflict is that one ace and captain he's in charge of keeping in check.
Hence, doing what any sixteen year old with a problem should do.
Akaashi goes ask online about it.
He doesn't expect a response, really. Most people's posts in the forum are detailed and nicely explained, with intriguing titles and sometimes even with pictures, and Akaashi reads some of them to get an idea of how to format his own question (and resists the temptation to reply to one of them) before publishing his own thread. It's generic and even somewhat stand off-ish, he realises, but he's not sure what else he should add so he just leaves it like that and expects it to get buried under the new posts that will surely push his down the forum's front page until it disappears into the void that is page two.
I like someone? is the title, which he thinks summarises his problem pretty well. The post's text itself specifies but not much more, only a simple I like a teammate from my school and I don't know what's next, advice appreciated that makes the page look empty, but Akaashi supposes it won't risk people losing interest like it's happened to him and unnecessary long posts he's seen around. His account lacks an icon and a signature but he can't be bothered furnishing his profile, so Akaashi closes his laptop and goes to sleep and forgets to check his thread the next day. And the next one. The one that follows, too.
It's a week later that he remembers to check his inbox and sees that he has a couple of mail alerts from the forum.
Someone's replied.
He hadn't been wrong in thinking he wouldn't get much attention, but two replies is a pretty okay response as far as Akaashi is concerned. The first one is from some Miyagi99 girl asking the typical questions, what is the person he fancies like and what are they into and can Akaashi see himself dating them in the first place ( loud, he likes volleyball and animals, I don't know, he replies), and the second one is from some HootHoot17 user saying Yeah me too! Highfive. An useless reply, naturally, but it tugs at Akaashi's interest all the same and he clicks on the username, before being redirected to a profile with a couple of owl pictures and a signature with some quote about giving your best and enjoying yourself.
There's a list of their most recent activity on the site, and Akaashi is surprised to see that they're actually the person whose post he had been tempted to reply to when he had been scanning through threads to learn how to word his own question, titled I think I'm gay for my setter. The actual text's body had been something about how the guy liked his volleyball teammate, a lot of gushing about how pretty he was and how the user felt all weird and tingly when near him, ending with a heartfelt HELP! that managed to make even Akaashi feel bad for him. Highfive, indeed. He realises with a churn in his stomach that this post reminds him a lot of how he feels about Bokuto, except sounding a lot less collected and a lot more desperate, and Akaashi entertains for a few blissful seconds the idea of deleting his account and possibly quitting the volleyball team and moving countries.
It's a nice fantasy, even if it doesn't last long.
Akaashi rereads the post, chin resting on his hand, and skims through the replies. Nothing useful as far as he can tell, just a bunch of people encouraging the poster to ask the guy out and one or two telling him not to risk making their team awkward in case it all goes badly. After some minutes considering, and a little bit of wondering what the hell is he doing with his life on a Saturday night, Akaashi types a quick message and clicks the reply button.
I play as a setter in my school's team. Asking him out could potentially make it awkward but I think any player who takes volleyball seriously will prioritize the game over some uncomfortable situation.
He narrows his eyes, thoughtful. It takes him another minute to decide to edit his reply to add, Good luck.
Soon enough, only a day later, he gets a private message from HootHoot17, sounding excited that Akaashi replied and that they're in similar situations, with even the same sport involved. They don't offer names or any specific personal information in what Akaashi assumes is an unspoken agreement of respecting anonymous forums etiquette, and that's exactly how Akaashi likes it, so it's not that hard to hide under his LotsOfPatience16 username and message HootHoot17 back.
He'd asked if Akaashi asked his crush out, and Akaashi types a simple “No” that he sends with a somewhat revengeful, “what about you?”. Hoot doesn't make Akaashi wait, replying less than five minutes later that no, he's too much of a coward and he appreciates his friendship with his setter too much to ruin it by getting rejected (by some reason, he seems convinced it'd never happen) and Akaashi wants to roll his eyes because really, they're both just so sad . He wonders for a moment who could be behind that virtual identity and an image of Seijou's Iwaizumi Hajime flashes before his eyes until Akaashi remembers that one, Iwaizumi seems more preoccupied with hitting Oikawa Tooru's face with volley balls than stressing about asking him out, and two, the person behind the username could be anywhere in the world for all Akaashi knows.
I'll ask mine out if you ask yours out , Hoot says, interrupting Akaashi wondering in mild horror if he's talking to Hinata Shouyou. Tomorrow.
Akaashi really doesn't want to engage in some sort of online competition that could potentially ruin his relationship with Bokuto, but for some reason he finds himself typing, Alright.
It's not like Hoot will know if he lies, anyway.
“You don't know me,” Akaashi tells Hoot's icon firmly, and closes his laptop with an itching in his hands.
Akaashi finds himself watching Bokuto more closely than he normally does during practice the next day. He seems a bit out of it, limbs flailing more than usual and hitting Akaashi's tosses with more force than he should during a simple practice match between his own team, and sometimes their eyes meet and Akaashi stares at him until Bokuto looks away or a volley ball bounces on his head.
What does Bokuto even like apart from volleyball and petting passing dogs on the street? Maybe video games, he's talked to Akaashi once or twice about intense Guitar Hero sessions with Kuroo and an unintentional all nighter he pulled once while exploring dungeons in Skyrim, and Akaashi thinks he remembers Bokuto mentioning sports-themed manga (of course) and cute animal documentaries on YouTube (of course ). None of that is exactly date material as far as Akaashi knows, though, so he wipes his sweaty hands on his shorts, feeling a bit flustered and out of breath and wondering if Hoot has asked his guy out already.
“Don't toss to me any more today!” Bokuto whines five minutes later, going into his dejected mode all of a sudden. It's normal and usual behaviour for him, but Akaashi doesn't know what could have triggered since Bokuto's been doing fine today. Has Akaashi not complimented him enough? He thinks he's told Bokuto Nice receive and Good job a couple of times.
“Is there a problem, Bokuto-san?” he asks, walking up to his captain.
Bokuto is on his knees on the floor, and he looks up at Akaashi and stares at him intensely for so long that Akaashi can feel his own eyebrows raising and raising, until the skin of his forehead hurts a little.
“I need to buy new clothes for practice,” Bokuto blurts out, loud enough for the entire gym to hear him.
“Okay,” says Akaashi.
“Come with me?”
Akaashi thinks about the hours they'll spend going from shop to shop until Bokuto decides on t-shirts and shorts and kneepads identical to the ones he's already wearing, and sighs loudly. He nods and offers a hand to Bokuto, helping him up.
Would Hoot count that as a date? Akaashi doubts it, and even if he did, Bokuto was the one suggesting the idea, and not as a date. Not good enough.
“We can go for ice-cream afterwards,” Akaashi tells Bokuto after a minute, and finds himself a little pleased because yeah, this is definitely asking someone out. Sort of. It's nothing they haven't done before and not even Akaashi himself thinks of it as a date but – he's done his duty. Now he only has to wait for Hoot to report back on his own situation.
Bokuto is positively beaming .
“Hell yeah!”
The not-date goes well, at least at the beginning. They go to Bokuto's home first to take showers after practice and then they're on their way to visit sport shops, Bokuto pointing at expensive sneakers with ooh's and aah's, asking Akaashi his opinion on shoes and socks and hoodies and kneepads. There's still something odd about him, some sort of different energy under all those layers of enthusiasm and eagerness Bokuto wraps himself in, but Akaashi shrugs it away and supposes it has something to do with the practice match they're having next week against Shiratorizawa. Bokuto does always get a bit nervous about facing other players from the Top Five.
Later, when they're nearly done, Akaashi eyes a plain white t-shirt on display where Bokuto's just bought three new pairs of kneepads. It looks soft, comfortable and exactly like the kind of material he likes to wear.
“I'm going to buy it for you,” Bokuto says, determined, and even though Akaashi tries to reassure him that it's fine, Bokuto-san, I have plenty and I don't need it, Bokuto buys it anyway and gives it to Akaashi with a big smile and a hopeful look that has Akaashi's palms feeling warm and his stomach a little fluttery. It's sort of an annoying feeling but in a good way, if that's possible.
“Thank you,” Akaashi tells him, sincere.
“Consider it your reward for all those amazing tosses!” Bokuto says, his expression so bright it's nearly blinding. It makes Akaashi wonder what face Bokuto would make if he actually asked him out on a real date, the ones where people have dinner and look at each other's eyes over a nice table and then hold hands on their way home.
They go get that ice-cream after Bokuto's done with his shopping (as Akaashi suspected, he's bought sport clothes identical to the ones he already has) and Bokuto also insists on paying for it, which Akaashi doesn't mind because he's paid for Bokuto's ice-cream in the past and it seems Bokuto is in the mood for spending lots of money today anyway. He asks for his usual strawberry flavour while Bokuto experiments with some lemon and grape and honestly, Akaashi is nowhere near surprised when Bokuto ends up saying it's gross and pouting. He doesn't have enough money left for another one so Akaashi is the one paying for a new cone, this time a safe chocolate and banana flavour that he knows Bokuto loves.
They're sitting on a bench at the park, Akaashi looking at nothing in particular and idly wondering if Hoot is somewhere out there in the world on his own real date, when he feels something cold and somewhat sticky touch his hand. He looks down to find Bokuto's own hand near his, fingers brushing Akaashi's knuckles.
“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi says, ignoring the way the back of his neck feels hot, “personal space?”
It's really not the first time that Bokuto's been like this -he's all about throwing his arm around Akaashi's shoulders, resting his forehead against Akaashi's back when he's bored and stops paying attention to their coach giving some long speech, grabbing Akaashi's wrist and tugging him in the direction of whatever he wants to show him- but Akaashi is drawing the line here. Handholding, which seems to be where this is going, is definitely out of limits even for Bokuto's bokuto-isms, no matter how tactile and eager for physical acceptance he is.
“Oh,” Bokuto says, retreating his hand immediately. Akaashi wrinkles his nose because really, even if he did want to hold hands, he wouldn't want to do it when Bokuto's is icy and sticky from holding his melting ice-cream cone. “Sure.”
They go back home, unusually silent considering whose company Akaashi is in, and he spends the rest of the night in his bedroom stealing glances at his own hand and wondering what it'd have been like, turning it upside down so he could twine his fingers with Bokuto's and hold hands on a bench at the park with the boy he definitely is crushing on, after spending the day out together.
Akaashi sighs and goes to sleep.
He wakes up to a message from HootHoot17 that says I think I got my ass rejected but I'm not sure.
Try again? Akaashi replies back, and gets ready for school.
Hoot is nice and Akaashi feels more friendly towards him than he thought it'd possible considering they're just words on laptop screens to each other. They move past the topic of their crushes, entering the territory of how's your day going and hey any music you recommend, and Akaashi tells him that they've lost an important match (against Shiratorizawa, but without mentioning names since the thought of being discovered still makes him clench his fists, uncomfortable) and he's pleased when Hoot says Me too and Next time let's kick their asses, yeah?
They do still talk about the people they like from time to time, and Akaashi sits and reads all about how Hoot is more and more smitten every day and sometimes he thinks he might get a shot if he plays his cards well but other times he just feels like he doesn't stand a chance. He's so pretty and so amazing and I'm so gay , he types in what is clearly near a crisis, and Akaashi scratches his forehead and wonders how the hell this guy's setter hasn't realised that his captain is head over heels for him yet.
He confesses to Hoot things Akaashi himself hadn't even realised he'd been thinking about; like how Bokuto has the best smile he's ever seen and whenever he scores from one of Akaashi's tosses he feels like they're invincible and that he wishes he had the courage to reach out and hold Bokuto's hand, and Hoot sends reassuring replies embellished with emoji, things like You guys seem great together and What the hell that's really cute and He sounds like he's into you, make a move you idiot.
“It's not that easy,” Akaashi says out loud to his laptop, frowning.
But he supposes trying can't hurt.
Akaashi is at least eighty nine percent sure that Bokuto doesn't know they're on a date.
Akaashi is definitely one hundred percent sure that this is not actually a date.
He doesn't need to talk about it with an online friend to know that asking Bokuto to help him with a couple of math problems is not what anyone in the world would categorize under the 'dating and romance' section (Bokuto is surprisingly good at math, Akaashi supposes thanks to his brave nature, since math can smell fear and Bokuto lacks any) and even though Akaashi is trying, it doesn't seem like Bokuto is about to disagree with said rest of the world.
“Do you want tea?” he asks, and Bokuto shakes his head and tells him that some water is fine. Akaashi stares at his open fridge for a minute longer than necessary as he zones out wondering how the hell is he supposed to make Bokuto understand that he wouldn't mind ditching the textbooks and holding hands, now that Bokuto's aren't cold and sticky. He ends up going back to his bedroom with Bokuto's glass of water and some orange juice for himself.
For all that he is a loud and wild student, Bokuto has good grades and actually puts effort into them, so Akaashi isn't surprised that he's a decent tutor the same way he is a great captain. Akaashi hadn't been lying about not understand the math problems from hell (he's a lot more skilled in subjects such as literature and English) but by the time they're done at seven o'clock, he's successfully solved eight out of ten thanks to Bokuto's guidance and help.
“You're good at this,” he tells Bokuto, not at all shocked by how Bokuto preens and beams and puffs his chest out, proud and overly pleased.
They watch a movie afterwards, one of Bokuto's choice as Akaashi's way of thanking him, and then one movie turns into two and two into three (Prisoner of Azkaban is the best one, Akaashi, please) and Bokuto ends up staying the night altogether, sleeping on a futon next to Akaashi's bed.
Akaashi rolls onto his side and watches him, asleep and with his hair down, drooling a little on the pillow (gross) and something that feels a lot like longing settles in his chest and squeezes until his ribs hurt. Bokuto looks pretty good like this, drooling aside, and Akaashi wouldn't mind waking up to this once or twice or every morning.
He gets his phone and opens his conversation thread with Hoot.
I think I'm in love with him , he sends.
Hoot's reply is waiting for him a day later.
Makes two of us. Hey, we should meet and cry manly tears about it together.
It turns out they're both in Japan, in the same city. It makes Akaashi paranoid, like he could run into Hoot any day on the street, and he doesn't agree to meeting in person until a month later, after mentally preparing himself for the idea and reassuring himself that everything will be fine because really, he and Hoot get along perfectly well on the internet.
They don't exchange pictures or any kind of information other than the time and place, giving each other the chance to back down at any moment should they freak out about it at the last minute, and Akaashi is actually feeling pretty okay with the idea as he puts his gloves and scarf on, ready to meet Hoot at The Happy Owl , a coffee shop just a half an hour bus ride from his home. There's a little anticipation and anxiety growing in his stomach, but it's under control and he allows himself to believe that he and Hoot will have a good time and Akaashi won't be thinking about how much he'd rather be there with Bokuto, preferably in a romantic context and with some handholding involved.
Akaashi cannot believe his luck when he enters the shop and sees Bokuto and Kuroo sitting at a table with milkshakes in their hands, talking and laughing and looking good together, looking like they're enjoying themselves. He swallows hard and sits with his back to them, ignoring the way his whole body seems to be itching with annoyance and some sort of weird posessive feeling he can't quite put words to, and tells himself that he'll give Hoot fifteen minutes before getting up and leaving.
Ten minutes pass. Akaashi risks a look over his shoulder and Bokuto and Kuroo are still talking, though they look more serious and Bokuto seems to be blushing. He has his phone out, checking it every two seconds apparently, and Akaashi wonders if Kuroo asked him out or Bokuto did. His hands clench into fists on his lap and he turns his back to them once more.
Fifteen minutes. Akaashi checks his phone but there's no new messages from his thread with Hoot. Bokuto and Kuroo haven't noticed him yet, thanks to Akaashi's strategically well-placed chair, and from his spot behind a pillar he can hear them laughing again, loud and annoying, so annoying. There's only three more customers, a couple trading soft kisses over their coffees and an old man with glasses reading his newspaper, and Akaashi stares at the closed door for an entire minute in which no one else walks in.
He gets up and leaves.
You should have told me you weren't going, Akaashi tells Hoot that night, typing on his laptop with more force than the keys deserve.
Hoot replies only ten minutes later.
I did go! What the hell dude, I was the one waiting for you! I ran into a friend there so I figured we'd catch up for a bit while I waited, but you never showed up. Zero. Nada.
Akaashi narrows his eyes at the laptop. Had they gotten the hour wrong? He's sure they agreed at six exactly.
Whatever, it's fine, he replies, too tired to think too much about it, and gets ready for bed without checking if Hoot says something back.
Akaashi's eyes snap open in the middle of the night.
“ Shit ,” he says.
He spends the next two days staring at Bokuto, trying to process and digest his new discovery, and Bokuto stares back but doesn't say anything, spinning the volley ball in his hands and dropping it and failing to score and going into dejected modes at least twice every hour. Akaashi drags him out of them while silently wondering if he's in a dream or something. It certainly feels like one.
Crap, I think he's mad at me , Hoot tells Akaashi on the weekend. He's looking at me like he wants to murder me and hide my head in his closet.
It's slightly offensive, but not unexpected. “I want to date you, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi tells his laptop screen, frowning. Instead he types, Maybe that's his way of showing interest.
You're such a weirdo , is Bokuto's reply, why do I even talk to you.
Akaashi is ninety-two percent sure that Bokuto knows they're on a date.
Akaashi is one hundred percent sure that he's doing it right this time. He'd waited until they were both done showering in Bokuto's home after practice, and he asked him to go get dinner together out. There's no nice table or intense eye contact or any handholding on their way home, but Bokuto's smiling and laughing and when Akaashi looks up, he catches Bokuto staring at him, looking like he's just gotten hit with a hammer. Akaashi can relate. Sometimes he feels like that about Bokuto too, though not always in a positive way (maybe like, seven times out of ten.)
Most important of all, when they say goodnight Bokuto looks hopeful and happy and Akaashi knows, even though he doesn't lack social skills but he's no pinnacle of human interaction either, that he's pulled off a successful move.
I think I just went on a date with him , Hoot tells Akaashi online, with a lot of typos. Akaashi can picture perfectly Bokuto's trembling hands, shaking with excitement.
Akaashi's hands are trembling a little too when he replies, Let's go for ice-cream tomorrow, Bokuto-san.
“I can't believe you,” Bokuto tells him, gesturing wildly with the hand that isn't holding Akaashi's. They're in Akaashi's room after eating some ice-cream together and sharing a couple of kisses that tasted like strawberry and chocolate and banana. “LotsofPatience16? Is that username about me? That's so mean, Akaashi. Do you need patience to deal with me? That's awful.”
“Please calm down, Bokuto-san.”
“Make me.”
Akaashi does. It also happens to taste like strawberry, and chocolate, and banana.