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Chapter Text

Turning her back to the rest of her former companions, Mikasa gazes at the blue sky while hiding part of her face inside her scarf.

She preferred not to be near of them, not when she noticed their reactions to seeing her. She had greeted them with a smile but, was her appearance that bad? Had she been crying that much? Were her eyes or her face puffy from the pain of emanating memories with Eren? 

Eren.

Unconsciously, she clung tighter to the cherished piece of cloth.

They've finally come to see you. Are you happy?

The now familiar itch takes over her eyes. Biting her lower lip, she avoids letting out loud sobs that might attract attention.

She hated crying and hated to be seen crying. She did not wish to appear weak, she always wanted to show herself as a strong person, she had, or well, had the obligation to present herself as such being characterized as "The woman worth 100 soldiers" however, she was human and very fragile, even if it would be hard for her to admit it.

This... Is my destiny, Eren?

She suffered in her past, being just a child who didn't know the cruelty of the world, only the beautiful. Back then, she never imagined that her parents would die in front of her eyes. She was still suffering now in the present, as a young woman. Her first love died, she killed him, without even having the opportunity to confess to him all the feelings she stored in her heart. Will the future be the same? Will she continue as a lonely widow full of regrets for the rest of her life?

A presence at her side causes her to lower her gaze. She swallows hard to undo the lump in her throat and slyly wipes her nose.

What a time for someone to approach.

What a time for him to approach.

¨How are you feeling?¨ she hears him say, in his usual indifferent tone.

Her "fine" didn't sound at all convincing, especially for someone like Captain Levi. Her voice sounded muffled and to some extent choked. She did not wish to speak, but she could not leave him to talk alone either. He was no  her superior anymore, but the strong respect she felt for him did not allow her to address him informally.

Silence reigned for a few long minutes -or was it just seconds?- where she remained watching the horizon as he did. It wasn't awkward, moments like this with the captain were never awkward, not for her. Was it because she didn't give them importance or for the development of their relationship? She didn't know, however, she found it curious how the atmosphere no longer felt as tremulous and cold as before his arrival.

Onyankopon's voice reaches both of their ears, notifying them that it was time to leave. The ex-captain indicates with a gesture that he caught on and would return. Managing the wheelchair on his own was the best thing he could have done in the last year, he hated the feeling of dependence every time he reluctantly called someone to help him.

¨Here," said the older man, holding out what appeared to be a card, "Go there when you need it.¨

And after that, without further words and with the help of his hands, he returned with the rest.

Mikasa looked at the piece of paper in confusion; it was an address.

Chapter Text

"Goodbye, Eren."

The constant and strong touch wakes her up from her deep sleep. It was the same as always, the one where she imagined a life with Eren in the mountains, away from everything and everyone, not worrying about anything, ignoring the serious problems that hunted them.

Wiping with the back of her hand the naughty tears that ran down her face, she got up from the sofa and went to the door.

¨Kiyomi-San," is what she blurts out as she sees the short but imposing figure waiting to be attended to.

Taking a step back and stepping aside, he gives her space to step into his quarters.

No, she did not live in the mountains as she had always wished, on the contrary, she stayed in a house near the queen's castle, being protected by the queen and her clanmate. On the island, she was considered a "traitor" for opposing the Jaeguerist ideology, however, little by little, this was diminishing thanks to highness Historia, other high commanders and allies from other nations. Adding that, now that Armin was near, that uncomfortable division could disappear a little faster, not immediately, but for sure.

¨What can I do for you?¨ she asked, motioning for her to take a seat in one of the dining room chairs.

¨You were crying again, Mikasa?¨

Widening her eyes and shrinking back in her seat, Mikasa didn't know what to answer. How did she find out? Was it too obvious again? Was it the same as that time of Eren's death anniversary?

¨Kiyomi-San I...¨ She paused her speech for a few seconds when she heard her sigh loudly.

¨It's been three years since it all ended, Mikasa.¨

As if on reflex, Mikasa moved one of her hands to the precious scarf, hiding her nose there.

¨There are still scars that don't close completely, not like they should. He... was and will be everything to me.¨

¨Everything to you and everything about you, so much so, that it gets to the point of defining you and characterizing you...¨ Kiyomi took her arm as she noticed how confused the girl was at her words. ¨This is Mikasa.¨

¨K-Kiyomi-San...¨  Stammered, noticing how Kiyomi removed the bandage from her wrist.

¨You´re this. This is what should stand out about you,"  Pointed to the Asian clan mark that lay on her skin. ¨Not this," muttered, brushing away the tear that was carelessly beginning to slide down her face. ¨But in the end, you decide who you want to be.¨

¨Who... I want to be?¨

What do I want to be?

Who do I want to be?

¨I'm sorry if I harassed you," Kiyomi commented, shaking her head and adjusting the bandage. "It wasn't in my plans to say that. I was just coming to notify you that Queen Historia plans to hold a dinner in a few days to commemorate the return of the others. She wishes you to attend and I hope you will," she rose from her seat and bowed. ¨Take care, Mikasa. I will be back to visit you soon.¨

Who am I?

The young woman did not realize that it was rude not to escort her to the door until she felt it close.

Her mind was still wandering because of the last words.

¨You decide who you want to be.¨

Chapter Text

Mikasa's eyes do not stray from her reflection illustrated in the mirror after she finishes drying her face with a towel. She tried to analyze herself a little. Leaning with the help of her hands on the sink, she approaches the large piece of glass.

You decide who you want to be.

Kiyomi's voice takes over her mind. Who did she want to be? It seemed like an easy question for anyone else, however, she wasn't just anyone. She felt there was more she needed to find out before she got to the longed-for answer.

Who am I? she recited firmly in her mind, as if this was a person seeking to interrogate her.

"I am Mikasa Ackerman," she replied, "Soldier of the survey corps, my duty is to protect Eren Jaeger and Armin Arlet...¨

She paused as she noticed a tear falling softly down her cheek.

¨No...¨

Wrong. She stopped being a soldier three years ago, she was no longer fifteen nor nineteen. Eren no longer needed protection for the simple fact that he was not by her side, he gone forever. And Armin... Armin didn't need her either, he moved on without her.

Turned the gaze to the bandage on her wrist, a bandage that she gently caressed.

¨Who am I?¨

Sighing heavily, took her clothes and finished dressing. She needed fresh air.

The wind caresses her long hair sharply, which makes her cling to her scarf by instinct. She walks down the long stretch until she reaches the end, there the road split in two; one went in the direction to the downtown and the other led to the mountains.

Her decision seemed to be quite obvious, however, a not too distant memory comes unexpectedly into her head.

Here. Go there when you need to.

The address given by Captain Levi.

Still remembered it, though she had no knowledge about what kind of things would encounter there.

Curiosity was getting the better of her body. If her ex-superior offered that piece of paper, it was because hrt condition was not pleasant (she didn't feel that way either) and it would do her good. After all, Levi always cared about those who were once his subordinates.

¨I will trust your judgment once again, Captain.¨

Her brow furrowed as she arrived. It was a three-story building and the first floor was a store that had only been open a short time, which, from its half-painted sign, looked like it might be a tea store.

The door was open, but the interior was dark. What was thinking the Captain?

With stealthy steps, he entered the place muttering a few "hello" and "Captain?" without getting a response. Besides being dimly lit, the place was dirty. Why would the cleanest man in the world send her to such a place?

Wood falling and a voice shouting "We're not answering yet!" caused her to raise a hand to her chest in fright.

¨Onyankopon?¨

¨Yes?¨ The stout man emerged from behind a mountain of boxes with a frown on his face. At the sight of her, he relaxed, "Mikasa?¨ his eyes widened ¨Mikasa! I didn't expect to see her around¨

She shrinks in place shyly, not hiding her astonishment.

¨Being honest I... I also didn't... ¨ she mumbled the last, stroking her scarf.

An awkward silence engulfed them. Her relationship with Onyankopon was only companionship, they dedicated brief phrases to each other with a single purpose; to end the war. Now that the war was over, their communication became completely null. She did not know how or what to say and the scrutiny he gave her did not help to eliminate her discomfort.

¨How did you know about the place?¨ he asked with obvious curiosity, slung the rag he carried with him over his shoulder.

Mikasa blinked sharply as she was suddenly thrown out of her musings.

¨The captain gave me the address.¨

If Onyankopon's eyes widened before when he saw her, they widened even more now when he heard her. He doesn't mention anything for a few long and tedious seconds which causes her to inwardly question whether he shouldn't have said anything or worse, shouldn't have gone there at all.

She relaxes a little when she hears him clearing his throat and coming out of his stupor.

¨I see," she commented, with a slight smile, "That's how was it."

He then walks over to a table in the corner and carefully wipes it with the piece of cloth. When he finishes, he places a chair next to it and politely tells her to take a seat. Mikasa gets excited and refuses repeatedly, explaining that she didn't want to disturb him, that he looked busy and didn't want to be a nuisance. Onyankopon reassures her and indicates that there was no problem. She had no choice but to reluctantly agree.

¨You're the first customer it seems," he said amused, extending a glass of water to her. ¨It's not exactly what you're looking to serve, but as you can see," he gestured around him, "it's not ready yet."

¨I didn't expect you to open a store," she opted to say something to avoid further silence.

He lets out a laugh, confusing her again.

¨No, it's not mine. I'm just helping out. Actually, it belongs to Captain Levi."

Well, she didn't expect that. She never thought the captain had a dream or aspiration after the war. He always thought he was atypical, that living or dying would be at the hands of fate, that he would simply fulfill his role as the stronger soldier.

No, Mikasa.

He was not her, all people had a wish they longed to fulfill when it the end of the hell they lived through finished, no matter how impossible it sounded or was, hope was always present, which motivated them to keep fighting. Except for her.

Or did she?

What was your dream, Mikasa?

She wanted to live with Eren, far away in the mountains, alone.

But Eren was gone. What is her dream now?

You decide who you want to be.

¨Mikasa?¨ asks Okyankopon, worried, noticing her so far away.

¨Where is the captain?¨ she asks softly, unable to control her words.

¨He is asleep upstairs.¨

¨I see¨

Does he live here?

¨He doesn't live here," his companion announces as if reading her thoughts. ¨I suggested he rest. Brought a lot of boxes and overexerted his leg.¨

¨Will you be ok cleaning all this up by yourself?¨

¨Well," he shrugged his shoulders. ¨There's not much to do after all. The war's over, doing this kind of normal stuff, it makes me feel more human. I free my mind and forget my sins¨

Mikasa nods, conveying to him that she understood his point, because that was just what she needed.

¨Onyakopon," calls his attention, "would you allow me to help you clean up?"

Chapter Text

Mikasa finishes tying her hair into a high ponytail, grabs her house keys and heads to her destination; the new tea store.

Oddly, cleaning up with Onyankopon wasn't too bad, even to a certain point, it felt pleasant. They didn't talk much, however, the short sentences and anecdotes he told her were enough to create an enjoyable time.

They didn't finish, but they did advance quite a bit, mostly because of her help.

Woah, Mikasa. You're good at this.

Cleaning was never a martyrdom for her, in fact, she admittedly liked it, though not as much as a certain guy.

Although...

You're as meticulous as the captain.

That he compare her way of cleaning to the captain's was strange, she never even imagined that someone would match his high standards, much less that it would be her.

She arrives faster than she calculates. Onyankopon was at the entrance finishing taking out a large bag of garbage. Seeing her, he smiles and she mimics the act, though not with the same enthusiasm. After a brief ¨good morning¨, they head inside to continue with what was left to do. It was a surprise for her to find the captain in there; he was standing with a feather duster in one hand and his hair and nose protected from the dust.

He watches her for a few seconds but says nothing, just continues cleaning some shelves. Mikasa thinks she saw a hint of surprise in his gaze, but decides not to look too deeply into it.

They spend the rest of the morning cleaning. Onyankopon tells anecdotes and Mikasa listens attentively, occasionally commenting, the ex-captain on the other hand, remained silent.

Suddenly, Mikasa's nose begins to itch, causing to sneeze several times. All because of a layer of dust she accidentally inhaled.

¨I'll have to get something to protect your nose.¨

¨You don't have to worry. I'm... I'm fine.¨

Tries to pull up the scarf to avoid any more altercations like that, it wouldn't be the same, but maybe it would work. As soon as she touches it, a hand holds out a towel.

¨Here¨ was the first time the captain articulates something since she arrived.

Mikasa looks at him puzzled and tries to refuse, but he was quicker. He threw it to her and she reflexively caught it.

Why did he...?

¨Oh, right, it's time for your rest.¨

Levi grunts at Onyankopon's sentence and sits in his wheelchair located in the corner of the place. Just like the beginning, he doesn't say anything, he just stares at the window, ignoring them.

¨I forced him to rest," he whispered discreetly in Mikasa's ear. ¨He hates that, but it's for his own good.¨

Mikasa nods and for a moment feels guilt. Maybe, just maybe, if she had been quicker back then, she would have avoided that injury.

Shakes her head at those thoughts. What was done was done. She reminds herself multiple times that it's not her fault and returns to her work after tying the towel halfway across her face.

After evening, Mikasa is prepared to return home because of Onyankopon's insistence. He said that she had to rest and that tomorrow they would continue, even though they were very close to finish. She gropingly agreed, she would not have minded to continue.

As she left, she noticed the captain looking at the people passing by, with a cup of tea in his hands. He had been out for a few hours as soon as the sun began to set. Mikasa wonders if he would be made uncomfortable by the absence of his fingers.

¨Are you leaving?¨

¨Yes," she answered.

¨Will you come tomorrow?¨

¨Yes.¨

She turns to see him and senses that he doesn't plan to speak again. After letting out a sigh, chooses to continue on his way.

¨Goodbye, captain.¨

¨Mikasa...¨ she turns around, expectantly ¨No, it's nothing.¨

Mikasa tilts her head confused but opts to continue, the night was getting closer and she didn't like being so late.

However, upon arriving home, she still wondered about the captain's strange behavior.

Chapter Text

The fresh evening air is extremely comforting. Mikasa closes her eyes and lets the wind ruffle her hair. 

Her legs and arms felt numb from today's hard work, but it didn't matter, they managed to finish cleaning the whole place.

While she rested and relaxed outside the shop, Onyakonpon finished throwing away the last sacks full of dirt and broken wood. Her red scarf lay on her lap to soothe the heat that had taken over her neck and face.

Onyakonpon's cheerful voice and loud footsteps bring her out of her reverie. She watches as he holds out a glass full of water. As she takes it, a faint half-smile comes to her mouth as she realizes how cold it is.

"Thank you."

The tall man gestures that there is no need to make a big deal out of it and takes a seat in the chair next to the girl.

"It was hard work," he commented, after taking a long sip from his glass, "but we managed to finish. It was all thanks to you, Mikasa."

"It's nothing."

Silence covers them and they remain like that for a few minutes. Onyakonpon has learned the last few days what a person of few words Mikasa can be, he respected her and therefore did not force her to speak. He loved to tell anecdotes, the girl's brief answers and nods were enough to make him feel heard. In addition, their silences were not uncomfortable, their presence was comfortable for each other. 

The relationship, beyond companionship but less than friendship, was rare, but interesting. 

"And tell me, what will you do from now on?"

"Excus..."

Oh, right.

They had already finished the cleaning, she no longer had the obligation (will) to go there. Her kind "charity work" was over.

Yes, she had to go home.

But...

If she went home, she'd sit on the couch and then, then.... What?

Everyone had something to clear their minds and abolish their sins, everyone except her.

"I... I don't know," she finally answered, dejected.

"How about you help Captain Levi and me with the Teashop?" The young woman turned to him with widened eyes "Well, as I said before, you were a great help with the cleaning, I think it could be the same with the customer service. You know, three perform better than one. But, if you don't accept, it's ok, I'll respect your decision."

Mikasa ponders for a few seconds. It wasn't such a bad idea, she quickly got used to the warm presence of Onyakonpon and the silent but latent one of the captain. Mikasa of the last three years has been sad, downcast and blaming herself over and over again as to why she didn't do anything or why she didn't say anything. In contrast, Mikasa of the last three days smiled several times, her heart no longer ached and she perceived herself to be more relaxed.

Was this her chance for vindication? A chance for a new beginning?

You decide who you want to be.

"I will. I accept, Onyakonpon." 

The man nods with a satisfied expression before turning his gaze to the people walking down the street. 
She concentrated on emptying the contents of her glass.

Perhaps, she would not regret this decision.
Maybe, it wouldn't hurt to go down a new path.
In the end, she was already a free woman who didn't need to fight to survive.

Free.

You decide who you want to be.

Free to choose.
Free to make decisions.
Free whether to hold on to the past or step into the future.

A few meters away from the entrance of her house, her feet stop, the direction of her head points to the sky painted in orange tones.

"Eren is no longer by my side, Armin no longer needs my protection....."

Who am I?

She guides one of her hands to the ribbon that kept her dark hair tied in a high ponytail. At the same instant she releases it, a powerful breeze made her long locks dance back and forth before finally letting them fall down her back.

"My name is Mikasa," she glanced sideways at the bandage covering her wrist, "I belong to the Ackerman and Azumabito clans.... And I am a free woman."

Chapter Text

The first days in the shop were lonely. There were usually only a few people who visited, but they were not sad or disappointed, the smiles and sighs of satisfaction showed the good quality of the product. That was enough.

On the other hand, in the following weeks, more and more people came, all thanks to the recommendations of the first buyers. From then on, they opened early in the morning and closed late in the evening. Mikasa waited on tables while the captain and Onyakonpon were in charge of preparing the warm drink.

Nice thought Mikasa as she found herself once again engaged in something. It didn't take her long to realize how much she missed being on the move, working.

"Thank you so much, Mikasa."

She nods with a slight smile, after setting the teacup down on the table by the window. Mr. Thompson was a retired doctor, married and a regular customer of the store since its opening. He was of medium height, plump and brown hair. He was one of the few who initially did not judge them to be "traitors" or "cheeky" as many on the island still believed, on the contrary, he considered them "brave heroes" who sacrificed many things, even their humanity, to survive. Every day, at the same time, he visited the place and every chance he got, he checked the retired captain's leg.

"Enjoy it," she said, before walking over to another table and picking up the empty cups.

As she placed them on the tray, several strands of his long hair fell over her face, obstructing her vision. A snort escapes her lips for having forgotten her bow.

Memories of adolescence and previous adulthood when she had it trimmed down to her chin and later to the nape of her neck come to mind. It was quite easy to handle back then.
 
After giving the empty cups to Onyakonpon for cleaning, she walks over to one of the windows and admires through her reflection how her long hair completely covers from her shoulders to her breasts. She bites the inside of her cheek.

Should I cut it again?

She liked it long but...

"Mikasa," a voice behind her back uttered. It was Captain Levi. "You must clean table four."

"Oh?" She shook the head, coming out of her musings. "Yes, sir. I'll be right over."

He gives her a quick glance up and down, before turning away in the direction of his work station.

"You don't look bad with your hair like that."

The young woman raises one of her eyebrows and looks back at her image in the mirror, surprised, the instant the short man turned away. Had she heard correctly?

She places her hand on the glass surface. With eyes full of determination, she takes a closer look at her face. Her features looked more mature, without overshadowing her youthful dye, her cheeks had a better color, eliminating the pallor that had haunted them for so many months since he left, the hair in that style... It made her look very much like her mother.

She looks down at that last detail. In previous years, she kept her hair short for and because of Eren, he told her it was the best thing to do since she was so exposed with the MDD3D and she carried it out without doubts or complaints, because at the end of the day, she was only in the army for him and if her hair was an obstacle that prevented her from saving him, then the best thing to do was to eliminate it.

But she was no longer in the army, the MDD3D had long since been abandoned and Eren was not at her side.

There were no trees to swing on, no one to protect.

She let out a vague chuckle as she rejoined. Usually, girls cut their hair to close a cycle, she did the opposite. What a irony.

I'll... leave it at that.

"Mikasa! Table four!"

"Y-Yes!"

"Please accept it. I insist."

Mikasa looks again at the envelope Onyakonponpon was holding out to her and with shaky hands, because of insecurity, she takes it.

It was her payment for working hard every day at the teashop. Although it was only fair, she never asked for anything in return, she just wanted to help and not stand still. She refused countless times, trying to explain to the tall man that it was not necessary, however, he was a persevering person and did not give up trying to get her to finally accept it.

"You deserves it," he said.

She made an attempt at a smile of thanks and put the envelope in the bag she carried with her.

"Captain Levi! I'm sorry, I can't take you home today."

The newly appointed, who had just secured the door of the shop, shrugs his shoulders without giving much importance to the apologies of his current co-worker -and babysitter-.

"It's nothing. Do your errands."

Mikasa watches as he disappears further and further away from where she and Onyakonpon were headed. What kind of place would the former captain live in? Would it be far away? Could he get there with his injured leg?

"Ptss, Mikasa," she frowns at the extremely low tone in which Onyakonpon called her. "Maybe this is too much, but could you accompany the captain?"

"Huh?" 

"Because of his leg, he can't walk that long. I'm worried that he's in pain halfway. He left the wheelchair. Going a long distance on foot could affect him."

There wasn't much to do when she got home, the sun was not yet fully set and the shop was closed due to low customer flow in the evening hours, adding that, Captain Levi had helped her several times in his time as a soldier and even now by giving her the address of his work.

Maybe...

"I guess it's no problem," she murmured.

Onyakonpon thanks her and quickly approaches the wheelchair that remained a few meters away, forgotten. As soon as the object touches his hands, Mikasa hurries to catch up with his former captain.

Fortunately for her, he has not advanced very far, so she manages to keep up with him at a safe distance. Deep down, it did seem dangerous to him that, still knowing the situation of his leg, Levi did not take it seriously and walked away as if nothing had happened. Perhaps he was frustrated at being dependent on a wheeled device and wanted to be able to function with both lower limbs for a moment. She thought he had not noticed her presence until he began to speak.

"It's not necessary."

"It's just... precaution."

He says no more, neither does she.
Her lips remain sealed as she watches him stop abruptly a few feet ahead and take a seat in the chair.

Mikasa's eyes widened as she saw her superior's house. It was a hut located in the foothills of a mountain, it looked small, but it exuded comfort for a single person. It had a small garden in the front where several butterflies and hummingbirds danced and jumped from flower to flower with the hints of sunset in the background. It was beautiful, very beautiful.

How envious.
How envious she was.

"It's enough. I'm fine here" the ex-captain's voice reached her ears but she didn't comment. It seemed strange to him, so much so, that he turned his torso to look at her "Mikasa..."

A life in the mountains, away from all the hustle and bustle and full of peace. 

Only surrounded by flora and fauna.

That could be her reality, but she desisted. She gave up and let herself be consumed by the darkness of sad memories for days, days that turned into months and months that turned into years.

"... Why are you crying?"

She is elated at his questioning and instinctively wipes her cheeks with the back of her hand. What a surprise, he was right.

"It's a... Beautiful place, sir."

He studies her with slightly raised eyebrows, softening his expression.

"Would you like to have a cup of tea to calm you down?"

She nods wiping the moisture from her face.

Maybe just hanging out there for a while longer wouldn't be a bad idea.

Just... Maybe.

Chapter Text

"I've always wanted something like this," she murmured. "It was like my dream."

"I understand," was his reply, after taking a sip of his tea. "And now?"

"And now?" She tilted his head to one side. "I don't know. I don't know at all, I mean."

"You're still young," he commented after a few minutes. "There are no walls, no titans, nothing to keep you from finding out."

She nods and brings the cup back to her lips.

That was all their conversation. The wind, the panoramic view of the setting sun and the curious sense of comfort made that day's tea feel extremely good.

That urged her to join him the next day.

And the next.

And the day after that.

Visiting the captain gradually became part of her routine. He didn't seem to mind her presence and if he did, he didn't show it.

After leaving him at the place he always indicated, she went to explore the surroundings. She discovered her tea plantations, the chicks he had in the backyard, the different colors of the butterflies that flew near his orchard, the different types of flowers, the tranquility of the forest and her dream.

She had recognized it; she wanted to rest. 

She no longer wanted to risk her life, or hurt others, or have an internal dilemma questioning whether tomorrow would be better, and neither cry. She just wanted to sit, watch the sunset or the stars and have a quiet life. She wanted to be a normal person, like the nine-year-old Mikasa ackerman who still lived with her parents.

She smelled the flower she held in her hands as a smile threatened to form on her lips. The weight that so imprisoned her shoulders and chest finally disappeared.

She made it.

And she laughed, laughed for realizing that all was not lost, that she still had a chance to create her own path, that time was not yet over.

Yes, she could vindicate.

Levi stops cleaning the windows to fix his attention on her. He found it strange to see her laughing in the garden with only the company of flowers in her hand. And while it was strange, that mere smile was enough to soften his heart.

Had he ever seen her like that or imagined seeing her like that after the whole mess they had been through? So cheerful and content? So friendly and smiling?

Having her around every day from mornings to evenings was not uncomfortable, shocking or abnormal, on the contrary, it was comforting and warm, because the loneliness that his heart harbored by not having his friends and comrades by his side anymore was not so overwhelming. 

So, was it true what that brat said that time?

"You stupid bastard," he snarled, standing next to the boy. "If my leg was sound, I'd beat you so hard I'd knock those nasty teeth out."

Eren's eyes widened at his cold threatening words, but they soon narrowed into a cunning smile.

"At least there are some things that don't change, right, Captain?" he said, in a nostalgic tone. Levi looks at him indifferently before letting out a reluctant "tch". "Captain, can I ask you something?"

"Ask?" His brow furrowed. That puzzled him "Ask for what? Are you looking for me to easily forgive all the shit you've caused?"

"Mikasa... Take care of her."

One, two, three blinks was all it took for Levi to snap out of his stupor. Take care of who?

"What are you saying?"

"I didn't want her to be with another man. The thought of it made me sick. I just wanted to be the master of her thoughts, forever and ever," he clenched his fists for a moment and then released them. Levi watched him in disappointment. "But destiny is already written. You won't be alone and she can be happy."

"Hey, Eren!" He exclaimed, "I don't know what you're thinking, or what you're trying to do, or where you're going, but stop. You're wrong.

Eren gave him a long look before exhaling heavily.

"You can't fool me captain, you can't fool yourself either. Mikasa is important to you."

"Not like you think."

"Ah, is that so?" He nodded softly, "I understand. Just let me tell you one more thing: Mikasa's smile when she is happy, is the most beautiful thing you will ever see in your life."

Shaking his head from side to side, trying to eliminate the fragments of that conversation, he resumes his work.

Mikasa's figure is more and more present in his house. No longer limited to running around hidden places like a little girl, she also helps him make tea and snacks, clean and drive his wheelchair when he needs to go to the market.

His closeness to her dissolved years ago in the battle to appropriate the controversial serum. It was interesting to pick it up again. 

"Are you all right?" She asked with palpable concern, holding him firmly by the arm.

"It was just a twinge."

Mikasa put her hand on his back and helped him to sit on the couch in the living room. His leg punish him for overusing it. 

Her countenance darkens as he starts a massage from his thigh to his calf. He wants to ask what's wrong, but she steps forward, looking uncomfortable.

"I should have been quicker that day. Then you wouldn't in this condition."

He scrutinizes her in confusion, but the memory of that fateful battle against all the titans is enough to solve his mystery. 

Why did she feel this way? It was not her fault, he himself chose to take the risk to save Connie. Adding that, she was the main protagonist in that fight, why was she focusing so much on the shoulda's or the classic what if?

"Is that important now? What's done is done. There's no going back. No need to be tied to the past. No regrets about decisions or actions. Regardless of the outcome, you will learn something."

And it was true, she had experienced it firsthand. Each and every one of her choices had an outcome and that outcome affected her reality. From Eren's "what am I to you?" to her courage to go kill him. And because of all that, all that pain and regrets, she was able to get to where she was now and understand who she was and what she wanted on her own.

"You're right, Captain. I understand."

"And also," he continued, "if it wasn't for you, I might have just one leg, or worse, I might be dead. Thank you."

A tickle, accompanied by a burning in his cheeks, makes it difficult for him to speak. I have never heard Captain Levi so sincere.

"I can't say you're welcome so easily, sir," she struggled not to stammer. "You saved me years ago, too, remember? It was the first time we worked together. I could have been crushed to death by Annie's arm if you hadn't pushed me. I should be the one to say thank you."

"It cost me a leg anyway. That's what saving brats brings," he tried to use a little humor, but Mikasa's expression didn't show he was enjoying himself. "Let's take it as a we're even, shall we?"

"Will that be enough?" she asked, because deep down she wasn't sure about that.

He shrugs his shoulders and shakes the hand. She hesitates for a long time, but finally accepts.

They both sense that they communicate better with actions than with words.

Chapter Text

"With you like this, it's much easier to carry the bags."

Levi turns his torso slightly to get a look at her face. His raised eyebrow complements his serious countenance.

"Are you kidding me right now?" he questioned. She shrugs her shoulders with some amusement. "Tch."

Mikasa purses her lips so as not to bring out the laughter she has endured for so long. However, it was true, the bags were quite secure on Levi's lap.

The market was not crowded as she predicted. Lucky for her.

She had shown up several minutes after the stipulated time, had overslept and try as she might to explain to him companion, his snorting didn't cease for quite a while. She sighed in relief when she realized that would not be receiving any more as she noticed the partially empty stalls.

Her shopping list was not extensive, but necessary, consisting mostly of basic necessities. On the other hand, the captain's was the opposite; things for his house, things for the shop, things for the garden....

It was difficult for him to manage everything on his own, so she and Onyankopon decided to help him. He neither accepted nor denied anything, he simply let them act. While Mikasa accompanied him to buy everything he needed for his hut, Onyankopon took care of everything related to the store.

"I think we're done," Mikasa commented, crossing the last word off the list. "Shall we leave them in the store and then take them in?"

"Let's secure them first. We're still an hour away from opening."

Mikasa nods, puts the piece of paper inside her bag and rests her hands on the push handles. The distance to his cottage wasn't short, but Mikasa didn't mind, walking along with the chill of the morning, one way or another relaxed her. 

Her eyebrows furrowed when she heard the "Wait a moment" from her ex-captain. They were right next to a girl's accessory stall. Bracelets, earrings, necklaces, were among the many things on display. She pulls him close when he asks and watches as he grabs a blue ribbon.

"What do you think?" she looks at him quizzically "just say something"

"It's pretty."

And it was, especially because of the floral design perfectly made with white thread that was marked on it. The shape she had never seen before, so she had no knowledge as to what kind of flower it was.

"Fine," he mumbled, before calling out to the stall owner. "I'll take it."

The woman mentions the price, and asks him if he wants her to put it in a small decorated bag, he declines and takes out his wallet and hands her the money.

"I know you want to ask," Levi pestered, when they were outside the market. It had already begun to fill up.

Mikasa exhaled heavily, surrendering to him. Apparently, her intrigue was quite evident.

"You got me," she mumbled, a faint smile on her lips. "Why did you buy it? You don't need it, do you?"

"It's not for me," he snorted, trying to ignore the mocking tone. "It's for you."

She stops dead in his tracks. What did he say?

"Uh? For me?"

"It's what I just said," he rolled his eyes. He went ahead to continue before she asked why he was doing it. "You've been wearing your hair down the last few days and it seems to bother you sometimes when you wait tables."

"Oh, it's because of my ribbon, I forgot it."

Actually, she didn't know where she left it last time. No matter how hard  looked for it, she couldn't find it.

"You lost it?"

"I want to believe it's somewhere in my house."

"Still, use this one, until you find it at least."

She can't refuse. First, Levi wouldn't take "no" for an answer, it was impossible, and second, he had spent money on it. Even if it wasn't much, he took the time to buy her something so she wouldn't be uncomfortable anymore.

"Thank you, sir."

She places her hair to her right shoulder, where she lets it fall. Then, she gathers each of the strands with the help of her gift. Leaving as a result a side ponytail.

"Does a new bow include a new hairstyle?" he asked, amused.

"Maybe," she replied in the same way.

She takes a quick glance in one of the windows of a house to resume her walk with the captain. 

Levi is astonished the next day in the shop to see her with the ribbon he gave her.

And the next. 

And the one after that.

Mikasa did not expect to receive visitors that day, nor at that time, much less from that person. Kiyomi was outside her house, dressed neatly and elegantly, with a box in her hands.

"Oh, Mikasa," she said, when she noticed her presence.

"Kiyomi-San," whispered, surprised. "I didn't expect to see you here"

"Would you believe me if I told you I thought the same thing?"

She doesn't change her expression as she takes long strides to open the door and offer Kiyomi entrance.

"What is the reason for your visit?" she asked, sitting down on the nearest chair. Kiyomi was quick to mimic his action.

"The date of Historia's dinner is getting closer and closer. I wanted to bring this to you."

Mikasa, with trembling hands, grabs the box that was extended to her. She opens it carefully and her eyes widen at the sight of a beautiful white dress.

"It is a gift from me. It was very popular among Hizuru's girls."

"Kiyomi-san I... I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything and accept it," smiled at her. "I'm sure it will look very nice on you."

Mikasa nods shyly and heads to her room, indicating that she will try it on. Kiyomi nods and assures her that she will wait for her.

"You've been absent lately," Kiyomi commented, loudly, to make herself heard. "Any reason?"

"Well, I... I have a job."

"Employment?" she repeated, stunned.

"Yes, with Captain Levi. I help him with Onyankopon in his teashop. Do you know it?"

Kiyomi remained silent for a few seconds before continuing.

"And do you like it?"

"It's entertaining. It keeps me busy and the customers are nice."

"I see. Mikas-" she fell silent as she saw her coming out of her room with her dress on.

She smiled in satisfaction, she had made no mistake, that dress was for Mikasa. She looked beautiful, splendid, just like a princess. She was the ultimate representation of Asian beauty. 

The young woman looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue with her speech, but she preferred to keep her words to herself. For now.

"... No, it's nothing."

Chapter Text

The sound of falling drops is the only thing that dulls the silence of the place. Mikasa brings the warm cup of tea to her lips, with the purpose of cushioning the cold that the sudden rain provided to her body. She was sitting on one of the steps that were required to climb the hut, the only one that the roof covered.

She sighed in relief at the sight of the garden. At least they had managed to sow most of the seeds they had bought that time at the market.

"You'll catch a cold here," hears behind her. 

"You're outside too."

Levi peels himself away from the door frame and carefully approaches to take a seat on her right side. He was also carrying a cup in one of his hands.

"We saved watering the seeds," he commented, with humor camouflaged in his indifferent tone.

"Yes," she agreed, "although we couldn't put these in," picked up the envelope at the other end and shook it.

"They're special. I guess it was a sign for us to plant them more quietly."

"Do they have any meaning that makes them different from the others?" she turned to look at him, full of curiosity. 

"They all do. In this case, those seeds are from blue iris. They represent hope and freedom."

Mikasa took another sip before turning her full attention to the envelope. It was nothing more than a small package physically speaking, however, the meaning of its product, from what her former superior mentioned, was deeper than others might realize.

Hope and freedom.

Two words she had heard since joining the survey corps. The goal was always freedom and hope for a tomorrow free of threats, was the greatest source of motivation.

It was fulfilled, but not as expected. Many comrades and friends died in battle. Few could enjoy this newly proclaimed free world.

She glances at the man beside her. Both she and he were called the humanity's strongest the ones who inspired the other soldiers to continue, the ones who were an example to follow, the ones who could not fail, the ones who could not die....

It was an immense weight that weighed her down for years and she had no doubt that it weighed him down, deep down, too. But now, in a world with no walls, no titans, no war, no blood, they managed to free themselves from it.

She smiles at the thought. They both are free now.

"How do you have knowledge about flowers, sir?"

He sets his now empty cup aside and crosses his arms, resting his gaze on the rain. He takes a moment before articulating a word, as if debating whether or not to speak. 

"Because of my mother. She liked flowers," he finally blurted out. "There weren't any in the subway, but she still knew quite a bit about them. She must have learned before she ended up there."

'I understand," she nodded at his answer. "My mother was also very fond of flowers. We even had a small garden similar to this one and I always helped her. This place, it makes me relive the happy moments of my childhood."

Levi clears his throat and shifts uncomfortably in his seat. A strange feeling had taken over his body and the word bad could not define it. It was the opposite.

It was the second conversation in which she had told him about her family. Even though it had been a long time since the last one, the naturalness with which her words flowed surprised him, just as it had then. 

She had had no trouble opening up to him, just as he had no trouble opening up to her.

He spoke little or nothing at all about his mother, only to those closest to him and when they asked. But his best friends were no longer by his side. Opening up to the person who was a descendant of his same ancestor, with whom he shared a power in his veins, whom he once wanted to protect and who was now by his side after a long time, in a different context, in a different world, was not bad, was it?

After all, she went to him and is still there with him.

>You can't fool me captain, you can't fool yourself either. Mikasa is important to you.

His brow furrows as he notices how she places the envelope next to his face.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I think this flower goes with you, sir," she pressed it into her cheek, earning a grunt from him. " You still here, living, after all.

Levi looks at her in dismay for a couple of seconds before returning to his usual countenance. 

"You're no slouch," he wiggled his face to pull the paper away from his face. "You came back, after all."

She bites her lower lip as she notices the implicit message in that word.

"I think...is our flower, sir," she uttered, with slightly raised corners. "At the end, we're not different."

"Levi."

"Huh?" she looked at him dislocated. He snorted loudly.

"We're not in the survey corps anymore to follow formalities, or am I wrong?"

She opened and closed her mouth, wanting to say something, but failing in the process. She kept talking to him that way out of respect, courtesy and to avoid discomfort. However, if he allowed her that confidence, there would be no problem, right?

"I think it's our flower, Levi," she said more confidently, widening her smile and inwardly fighting to eliminate the burning that wanted to possess her cheeks.

>Mikasa's smile when she is happy, is the most beautiful thing you will ever see in your life."

"Yes, it is," he mused, subtly returning the gesture.

Arriving home, she strips off her clothes and goes into the bathroom to enjoy a long, comforting shower. Tomorrow before going to the teashop, she would wash her clothes full of dirt residue.

When finished, she puts on her comfortable nightdress and sits down at her dressing table to brush her hair. When she unties the ribbon, she sees that the figure she didn't recognize days before is the same flower from the seed packet she held hours before.

"That guy... " she murmured, impressed.

Coincidence, destiny or purpose? She didn't know and she didn't care.

Because in the end it was the flower of both.

And that was enough.

Chapter Text

The lights, pomposity and elegance of the place overwhelmed her. The event hall of the queen's castle was decorated in its entirety. Varied tables with their respective chairs, flowers and lamps, filled the space.

The ostentation dislocates her a little.

The dress Kiyomi gave her covers her body. The woman went to her house to help her and no matter how much Mikasa clarified that it was not necessary, she ignored her.

Her hair fell loosely down her back, her face was lightly covered with beauty cosmetics she never thought to use and accessories she had never seen in her life. She assumed they were from Hizuru. The scarf was vetoed, under the excuse that it would not match the outfit. Her snorts and withering look were not enough to convince her distant relative, so she had no choice but to leave it in her closet. It was all right, it would only be for one night.

What she did manage to take was the ribbon that Levi gave her as a gift. She couldn't dismiss the idea that at some point in the night, her hair would start to bother her and she would have the immense urge to pick it up. But most of all, she needed something to feel familiar with. 

A guard greets her politely and directs her to the larger table where she sees two of her former companions: Jean and Connie.

It had been a while since she last saw them, a month and a half specifically. She didn't know if she could start a conversation after she'd almost completely ignored them that time on the anniversary of Eren's death.

"Can I sit?"

The expressions of the boys, now adults, are a poem as they pause their conversation and turn to her. Jean's eyes widen before settling on Connie, who opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water as he points his index finger at her.

"M-Mikasa," he finally managed to say, "We didn't expect to see you here. We thought that..."

A slap on his back from Jean interrupts his speech.

Mikasa didn't need to be a fortune teller to understand what he meant. They had witnessed her long duel. Since it began, they avoided approaching her so as not to make her uncomfortable and she didn't look for a way to tell them not to leave. She didn't blame them, she couldn't.

"Of course. Take a seat."

Nodding, she rolled the chair he pointed with his hand. Deep down she was surprised that he didn't hint to sit next to him, but then she realizes that the place had her name engraved on it.

The silence was awkward as expected, but she did not want it to linger. Those two had been her companions and friends for years, the last thing she wanted was to lose them again.

"How have both of you been?" She urged herself to start a conversation. Noticed how the two gave each other a quick glance before moving lips.

"I think we should ask you that," Connie said, scratching the back of his head nervously. "How have you been, Mikasa?"

She stirs in her seat and brings her hand up to her neck, trying to fumble the scarf, however her fingers touch a necklace Kiyomi lent her. 

Oh, right.

"I..." now her hand slid to her wrist, where it met the ribbon. One of the corners of her lips turns up unconsciously "I'm better."

Connie lets out a broad smile as Jean relaxes his countenance. She could have sworn she saw a twinkle in their eyes. Pride, perhaps? She didn't know, but it allowed her to smile just the same, baring her teeth.

"What have you been doing lately?" Jean, now more relaxed, opted to dare to ask.

"Well, I've been helping Levi with his teashop. Onyankopon also gives him a hand. There are times when... " stopped abruptly when saw them tilting their heads to the side and raising their eyebrows at the same time. "What's the matter?"

"You just said Levi," Connie pointed out, "Isn't that... too much?"

Mikasa looks at him puzzled for a few seconds before feeling a burning in her cheeks. They didn't know that their relationship was getting closer, it was obvious that they were astonished to hear her speak so freely about the former captain.

"I have his permission," she clarified more quickly than she anticipated, "Besides, the war is over. Ranks don't matter much at this point, do they?"

Armin remains the commander until the dialogues between the nations reach an agreement," Jean placed his elbow on the table and in the fist of his hand, he rested his cheek. "But I understand your point. The captain, ex-captain, Levi or whatever, is no longer part of the survey corps. He deserves to rest after all. Now it's our turn."

A waiter places a bottle of wine on the table and in front of each individual, some glass goblets. He serves quietly while they continue their conversation. Mikasa is not a big fan of alcohol, but for just that one night, she would give in a little.

"It would be weird to call him by his first name anyway," Connie takes a drink before continuing, "I feel like he'd hit on me."

Mikasa let out a nasal laugh at the exaggerated tone he used.

"You should visit the teashop sometime."

"Not if they'll make a mess."

The three young adults turn their heads at the sound of that unmistakable voice. Captain Levi was approaching the table with Armin at his side. Both neatly dressed in coats and ties.

"Captain!"

"Keep your voices down, you brats," he growled. "Being half-blind is enough, don't add to my burden by making me deaf."

The joke is too heavy and dark for everyone, however, Connie lightens the mood with nervous laughter and calling the waiter to bring two more glasses.

"I announce that your highness Historia is busy. She apologies for not being present," said a guard who stood next to the waiter.

Everyone grimaced in disappointment. Her role as queen, mother and wife made many things difficult for her. She was a person who was always busy, unfortunately. Deep down, Mikasa hoped to see her soon.

The rest of the evening is pleasant. Laughter and jokes ensue, drawing the attention of the other guests. The alcohol had taken over Jean and Connie, causing a lot of nonsense to come out of their mouths. Armin was holding steady though with red cheeks and part of his nose, she didn't ingest too much and Levi, though carrying the same amount as the ex-soldiers, remained serene, as if what he drank was water.

When was the last time they had such an enjoyable, carefree moment all together?

Mikasa sighs and plops down on the back of the chair, admiring Jean and Connie's stupid but curiously funny banter, Levi's stoic but relaxed face, and the smile plastered on Armin's lips.

Sudden taps on her left shoulder make her turn around. The first impulse that takes over her body at the sight of Kiyomi is to stand up and say hello formally. The woman returns the gesture and with a whisper in her ear, tells her if she can give her a minute.

She didn't want to leave her seat, but figured that whatever Kiyomi was going to tell her must be important if she was asking for a private place.

Apologizes to her friends, making it clear that she wouldn't be long and followed kiyomi out of the hall, approaching the balconies of the castle.

Avoiding watching her was a difficult task. 

He had known her for several years now. He first heard of her when she was fifteen years old. He knew she was popular with many soldiers because of her exotic beauty, black hair and masterful strength. Comments in the hallways corroborated how much men wanted to approach her for at least say "Hi." Jean's years-long crush was the most prominent. However, all those hormonal brats had one thing in common: They were impossible to get a chance with her. If you wanted to be her center of attention, you had to die and be reincarnated as Eren Jaeger or if you wanted her to sweet talk you, you had to switch bodies with Armin Arlet.

He didn't care, because in the end, she was a brat. He had no image beyond that she was his subordinate. All he wanted from her was to be rational and unemotional on missions.

She reminded him a bit of his impulsive younger self and all he wanted was for her not to fuck up like he had. Period.

As time went on, he noticed how her body changed. He wasn't blind (at the time) he admitted that the Mikasa of that era was pretty. She was taller, slimmer, with curves, shorter hair and outstanding attributes, she was already a person who was entering the path of adulthood. But he didn't think much of it, because the war, the rumbling and the beast titan overshadowed anything.

However, the one he saw when he arrived, in a world without titans or MDD3D, was one he never imagined he would meet. Mentally congratulated himself over and over again for keeping his face serious and impassive as was his wont.

The long dress cinched her figure perfectly and sensually, showing a little of the beginning of her breasts. The not at all overloaded make-up emphasized her Asian features, her impeccable hair fell over her shoulders and she was not wearing her scarf.

She was not the soldier he had known some time ago, the Mikasa that his healthy eye did not want to turn away from was a woman.

Her seat was next to him, so it was complete torture not to be able to admire her without making her uncomfortable or attracting the attention of others. He did, however, catch the ribbon had given her weeks ago tied around her wrist. He had to hide the smile that threatened to come out as he took a sip from his glass.

To see her sitting there so serene from the tasteful atmosphere, smiling from the antics of her friends and passive from the alcohol, he liked it. It was the behavior he had been living with since she decided to go to work in his shop and it was the one that made him proud, because it show that she didn't get carried away by the darkness, because she lit up any space like a beautiful moon.

He longed to see her like that, always. Because she worth it and deserved it, Mikasa Ackerman deserved to be happy.

That brat Jaeger.... Once again his words come to his mind spitting out that he was right.

Yes, it was true. Mikasa's smile when overcome with joy was beautiful, he wouldn't deny it, but he liked even more how beautiful she was when she was glowing and standing on her own.

The instant Kiyomi separated her from the group, a strong curiosity grips his body, but he tries to be indifferent about it.

Indifference that didn't last long when saw Kiyomi enter after a while, without her.

He wondered, if something bad happened.

Her hairstyle is unraveling more and more each time the strong wind blows against her face.
Leaning against the railing, her gaze lost and her thoughts scrambled, Mikasa doesn't give it a thought.

"What should I do?" She mumbled.

"I'll be leaving in a fortnight, think very carefully, dear Mikasa."

For the first time, raises her eyes to the sky coming across the infinite stars. It was a beautiful night, or rather, it had been.

The tresses hitting her face make her fed up and she considers the best thing to do is to pick it up once and for all, but her movements stop as she grabs the ribbon.

"I have no idea."

After tying it in her now familiar ponytail at mid-side, the chill in the air hits her. So lost was she in her musings, she was completely unaware that the temperature dropped.

Her reflex action was to bring her hands to rub her arms, however, a coat beat her to it.

"Do you want to freeze or what?"

"Levi" widened her eyes.

The man takes a few steps to stand next to her, leaning on the railing as she does.

"Is it right that you came here without your wheelchair?" Mikasa asked, avoiding any kind of silence.

"I knew I wouldn't walk all night. It was a dinner party, so it wasn't necessary," he glanced at her before changing the subject. "Why are you still out here in the cold? Oldy Azumabito came in a while ago."

His eyebrow arched as he noticed how she was cowering in her coat and biting her lower lip. Didn't she want to answer?

"Hey," softened her tone, "are you feeling sick?"

"It's not that. I..."

"Mikasa."

When she was interrupted, the young girl turned to the owner of the voice in confusion. 

"Armin..."

From the look full of feelings that both transmitted to each other and the tense atmosphere, Levi knew he shouldn't be there. It was an intimate space between the two of them. So, without uttering a word, he walks away from the place, not bothering to remove his coat from the girl.

The blond, on the other hand, shyly approaches her friend, eyes downcast.

"How have you been?" she inquired uncomfortably, before giving herself a small smack on the forehead. "Forget it, It's obvious. You're a busy person."

"I'm sorry," he said in a sad tone, after sighing heavily. She looks at him dumbfounded.

Armin," she blinked repeatedly, "Why did you...?"

"I... I'm so sorry, Mikasa. I shouldn't have turned away from you like I did," he cuts off her words again, this time, turning to face her. "I should have been by your side when you were down because of... Eren" Mikasa didn't ignore how he pursed his lips as he pronounced the name of their late best friend "I shouldn't have gone away like that and left you alone. I should have..."

"Armin," she interrupted him, placing her hand on his shoulder, "you don't have to blame yourself. There are no regrets for decisions or actions. You wanted to go ahead, I didn't dare. It's not your fault."

"We drifted apart," he insisted.

"Because of me. I didn't look for you either. Even if you came to see me, I wouldn't have given you the treatment you deserved. Your effort, it would have been useless. "

"I know, it's more than clear to me. I thought I was being held back by the fact that you needed space to grieve. However, now that I think about it better, it's because if I had seen you cry over him again, I would have too, and everything would have ended up a mess. You needed support, not another burden. While I was concentrating at work, inside I wondered if you were okay. I felt bad because when I was traveling, my family was alone and I wasn't brave or strong enough to help" his eyes watered, hers too. "And now that we meet here, after so many days, I see you differently, I see the Mikasa I missed so much. "

She can't stand it any longer and pulls him close to her body to hug him tightly. He doesn't hold back and locks her in his arms. They had missed each other so much.

"It's all over, don't worry," Mikasa sobbed. "I'm better."

"I know, too, and I'm so glad. I promise never to leave your side again."

Hearing the last, she breaks away and looks away in sorrow. Kiyomi's words came back to her mind, overwhelming her once again.

"Mikasa?"

"Kiyomi-San... suggested me to go to Hizuru with her," she whispered. Armin inwardly thanked the closeness for allowing him to hear.

"Oh," the impression made him take a few steps back, "I see. Leaving, you know, forever?

"Possibly," her eyes filled with pleading. "What do you think I should do?"

"You took me by surprise. My mind is blank right now."

She pouted as she retreated back into the coat that lay across her shoulders. The temperature was dropping lower and lower.

"We just got back together and you're leaving," Armim laugh dryly. "What about the captain?"

"Uh?"

"I hear you work in his teashop. You're closer now, I see."

"I don't know either."

They keep quiet for a few minutes, enjoying each other's company.

Putting his hands in his pockets, Armin decides to speak.

"Mikasa, you're my best friend, no, my family. I do have an answer to your question, but this is something you must decide for yourself. Think about what you want most. That's all I can tell you."

She nods before hugging him again.

Chapter Text

The clatter of an object crashing to the floor causes hurried footsteps to approach in her direction. She can clearly hear Onyankopon's agitated breathing and a snort from Levi.

"Are you all right, Mikasa?" asked Onyankopon, with palpable concern.

"Yes, it's nothing," muttered, crouching down. "It was just an oversight."

"Be careful with..."

"Oh!"

"Hurt yourself."

Wrinkling her face in annoyance and whispering a curse, Mikasa watches as a wound grows on her ring finger, a wound that soon bleeds. No, the day definitely couldn't get any worse.

"Hey, what are you up to?!" Levi exclaimed, approaching and holding her wrist tightly. She was pretending to keep picking up the pieces of the broken cup. "Put that down. Come here."

Without much effort, as if her weight was minimal, he pulled her to her feet.

"But..."

He ignores her, pulling a handkerchief out of his back pants pocket and placing it on her wound. Mikasa looks at him uncomfortably, her cheeks coloring a reddish hue.

"Levi."

"Hold it while I look for something to heal."

"I'll clean this up," Onyankopon announced, holding a broom and dustpan. "Don't worry. You can wait for the captain at one of the tables."

Resigned, she obeyed. They were about to close, so the teashop was practically empty.

Although it was the first time she had broken something, for the past four days she had been distracted by tripping and spilling some of the tea on the tables, surprising some customers and angering others. If Onyakonpon had not intervened on each of these occasions to apologize, many customers would have stopped frequenting the place. Her absent-mindedness prevented her speaking coherently, which could have caused many people to take offense.

Levi soon arrived. Holding a first aid kit under one of his arms, he pulls the chair to be closer to her.

Already seated, he takes hold of her wrist again and removes the handkerchief that cushioned the blood. Wetting a cotton ball with alcohol, he cleans, with a gentler touch than she could have imagined, her wound.

Avoiding a flinch, Mikasa chooses to bite the inside of her cheeks and admire how Levi learned to handle his healthy hand when it was his strong hand that had been lost.

Her brow furrows as she watches him smear ointment over the cut line. Wasn't he already overdoing it at that point?

"I'm not going to drop my finger," she snorted.

"Maybe not," he muttered, putting a band-aid around her finger. "But you'll hurt the others if you keep your head in the clouds."

Well, that was something she couldn't contradict.

"What's overwhelming you?" he questioned, putting away the implements he used. One of his eyebrows rose as he saw the way she looked at him. "It's too obvious, isn't it? You're out of your mind."

Mikasa sighs at being found out. Whether explicitly or implicitly, he would always find out what was wrong with her and, just the same, he would take the risk of asking bluntly.

"You can trust me."

Mikasa's eyes widened at what he said. 

Trust?

It felt strange.

She years ago trusted him and every one of his decisions no matter how risky and crazy they sounded, even, she urged her companions to do the same. Because, while they were shocking, they were effective and yielded good results.

There was a time when everything was destabilized, the titan serum being the cause. She was aware that from then on their relationship was short-circuited for several months, although, although her pride did not allow her to accept it, deep down, she continued to trust his judgment.

However, now, with the tone of voice he used and with his eyes glued to hers, in a world where they no longer had to fight or strategize to survive, it felt more intimate, closer.

Eren and Armin were the people she told everything and the only ones she opened her heart to. But Eren was no longer around and Armin doesn't always have the possibility to be close to her because of his work.

Sasha, likewise, was a good confidant, always listened attentively and gave her opinion when it was appropriate. But she, like Eren, was long gone.

Levi, however, was still there alive, by her side, ready to help her.

"Is it very serious?"

She quickly denies.

"No, it's not serious. Well, I want to believe that it is not" the last sentence caught the ex-captain's attention more. "It's a situation, to which I must give an answer."

"If it's not supposed to be serious, why does it have you like this?"

"It's a complicated thing for me," pursed her lips. "I have to decide whether to stay here or go to.... Hizuru."

Levi averts his gaze to the table, saying nothing. Again, did it really have to happen all over again?

When she got up the courage to leave the past behind and cry to finally do something other than kill people and titans, to get close to him, to be with him? Did someone really show up to unlevel everything?

"Kiyomi let me know the day of the dinner at the palace, that's why I was late in coming back. Armin knows too. He said it was something I had to decide on my own."

"I guess he's right."

He wanted to say more than that, much more. But he couldn't. He was afraid of distorting her decision, or rather, was afraid that his words wouldn't matter. Although, it was true what the brat told her, it was something she had to decide herself and no one had to intervene in it. They were her roots and her family.

Adding that, being lousy with words, it was impossible for him to express his feelings directly.

"Yes, he's a sensible one. I still have a few days to do it."

But... 

"Try not to drown too much in your thoughts. I don't want any more disasters."

"I got it."

"And... Even if this is something that only concerns you, would you allow me to say something about it?"

She nodded.

"Go ahead."

"If you were to leave, whether it would help or not, I'd probably tell you the same thing as that time, the one when we were about to attack Eren."

Yes, indirectly.

He doesn't give her time to figure out what he's referring to, he simply picks up the first aid kit and disappears from her sight.

Most likely Mikasa didn't remember the event, but for once, he wanted to be brave and be honest with her.

Chapter Text

The torrential rain was falling from the dark sky. There were no stars, the moon was opaque and the wind was rushing fiercely, sweeping everything in its path.

Mikasa averted her gaze from the window, relaxing her countenance, relieved.

¨Onyankopon was right," she commented, "Good thing he got out in time¨

Levi made a "hmm" with his lips at what she said, stating that he agreed.

¨But not you," he said some time later. ¨You could have gone with him.¨

¨Yes, perhaps," she walked to the fireplace, intending to throw in more wood. The temperature was beginning to drop. ¨But I couldn't leave this mess to you alone. You know, your leg...¨

¨Tch, it wasn't much.¨

After closing the teashop, Onyankopon excitedly showed them both a wine from his home country, which was delivered to him recently. He explained that it was of good quality and that he had waited weeks for it.

He suggested that, since the day had been extremely busy and they would not open tomorrow, they could have a few drinks in Levi's cabin.

Both Ackermans refused at first; Mikasa because she had little craving for alcohol and Levi because he simply didn't want to. However, Onyankopon was persistent and finally got them both to agree, reluctantly, but they accepted.

Undoubtedly, the time was very relaxing for the three survivors of the called rumble. They laid out a blanket in the backyard and on it, a basket full of snacks prepared by Mikasa to accompany the drink.

They talked. Too much.

They didn't know if it was because of the influence of alcohol or because of the pleasantness of the moment, however, it didn't matter. Because it had been too long since they had enjoyed themselves like that.

Which made Mikasa reflect.

Would Hizuru ever get to experience moments like that, surrounded by people who experienced so many things with her? People she trusted and who gradually earned a place in her mallugged heart?

Getting to know the other half of her roots was appealing, interesting and attractive to her, but it was something so new, something she felt little or nothing familiar with, contradictorily speaking. It would all be so... New, unfamiliar and overwhelming.

Starting from scratch in an unknowed place, relatively alone, scared her.

Their time ended as a gaggle of dark clouds were filling the sky. Onyankopon was the first to warn that a torrential downpour was approaching and they should hurry if didn't want to end up soaked.

After packing up, he left, but Mikasa did not.

Just as Levi said, the mess wasn't much. They only had to wash the dishes they used, shake out the blanket and clean up the crumbs lying inside the basket, nothing else. It was obviously something he could do quickly and optimally, but she wanted to stay and help, no matter how little.

Finishing tossing the last log, she plops down on the couch that sat in front of the fireplace. Levi soon came over and sat down next to her, extending another glass.

¨More?" she cocks an eyebrow. ¨Won't Onyakonpon feel betrayed if we drink without him?¨

¨He mustn't know, must he?¨

She watches him for a few seconds before drawing a sly smile on her lips.

¨No," she finally said.

Her eyes did not leave the yellow and orange flames of the fire. The raindrops falling, the cold being overshadowed by the warmth, the silence and the delicious taste of the wine was so....

¨Relaxing," she murmured, making Levi turn in her direction. ¨This is relaxing, don't you think?¨

¨Yes," he sighed. He was calm, quite calm.

¨I wonder... Why we didn't have moments like this before," she placed the cup on the coffee table.

Levi analyzed what the girl said and before answering, he imitated her action.

¨We were busy with many other things. Survival was the priority.¨

¨Yes," she grimaced. ¨I guess, now that I think about it, it was partly my fault, too," Levi watched her with curious eyes. ¨The people who were paramount to me could be counted on the fingers of one hand. You know, Eren and Armin. But then Sasha, Jean and Connie came along. The first ones were my family and the last ones my companions, no...¨ she makes a shaking motion with his head, ¨my friends. I thought that was it for me and considered that enough. However, suddenly it comes to light that I share a lineage that contains a supernatural force, with you, with my captain. It was quite overwhelming.¨

¨Did that stop you from approaching me?¨ he inquired, settling back into his seat. He was quite interested in the subject.

¨Beyond a cadet, yes," she agreed. ¨It was a rather drastic and uncomfortable change at the time. Not seeing you as a captain was...¨

¨Strange?¨ he tried to complement.

¨Yes, that," her fingers began to play with each other. ¨Plus I felt I had to protect my own. Behind the shifting titans, bows with arrows, swords and lightning spears, there were vulnerable people. I told myself that if you were like me, there was no need to do the same to you.¨

¨Until that day.¨

¨Until the final battle, yes.¨

They remain silent for several minutes, enjoying each other's company. Levi opted to break it.

¨And now?¨

¨Now?¨ Mikasa frowned, confused.

¨It's not strange anymore?¨

¨No, not anymore," she reassured, relaxed. ¨And you?¨

¨Uh? How do I feel now?¨

¨No," she laugh lightly. ¨What about you, why didn't you come to me?¨

¨Is it really necessary to say it?¨

¨You need to be even, Captain.¨

Levi grunts. She knew at this point he hated it when she addressed him by his former position.

Likewise, it takes him a while to answer. She could tell the internal debate he was struggling with. It made her uneasy.

¨Levi?¨

¨I think it was fear," he said. As much as she didn't want to bring it up, Mikasa was honest with him. She couldn't allow herself to always be cowardly.

¨Fear?¨ she repeated the word that surprised him the most. ¨You... Fear?¨ he nodded, puzzling her further. She never thought fear was written in Levi's dictionary, someone who was once known as the strongest soldier in all of mankind. ¨Why?¨

¨I've always thought deep down, I carry a curse," Mikasa didn't seem to understand. ¨Have you noticed that there are no other veterans here besides me?¨

It was true. The people who were once near to him were not there. Neither his old squadron, nor Commander Erwin, nor Commander Hange.

¨Yes.¨

¨And they all have something in common. Do you know what it is?¨

She hesitates to answer, it was something delicate.

¨They... They all...¨

¨Yes, they're dead," he completed, cold.

The pieces of the puzzle were coming together, clarifying the point his former superior wanted to make.

¨You thought that if you approached me, omitting army ranks, I would die?¨ He nodded again. ¨Levi.¨

¨You were a key soldier for the corps. The last thing that needed to happen was for something to happen to you.¨

¨That wasn't possible, Levi. I'm strong, very strong.¨

¨Are you? Look at it this way. I stayed away from you all these years and here you are, alive. Now that I have, you're going away.¨

An uncomfortable pressure takes hold of her chest. Yes, tomorrow she has to give her answer. He didn't know, but that didn't mean he could speak so confidently. For even she didn't know what to do.

¨I haven't left," she countered, lowering her voice.

¨Still.¨

¨Why are you asserting something that hasn't happened?¨

¨It's the sensible thing to do.¨

¨What do you mea with sensible?¨

¨Won't you go away?¨

¨Do you want me to?¨

They both stared at each other for a few moments, moments that instead of feeling like seconds, were more like eternal hours. Gray against blue. And there it was, that inner dilemma in Levi again. Mikasa wanted to tell him not to be afraid to vent, that he could trust, just as she already did.

¨That's up to you," she finally blurted out.

¨That much is clear to me, Levi. I'm not putting you in charge of deciding for me. I just want to know what you think.¨

¨Does it matter?¨

¨If it didn't, I wouldn't be asking you. If it didn't, I wouldn't have let you have your say that time.¨

¨And I told you something that time.¨

¨Yes, about something that happened three years ago. How can I remember something that happened three years ago, Levi?¨ She started to despair.

¨Mikasa, you don't understand... ¨ he asserted his tone.

At what point did their conversation take this turn?

¨No, Levi. It's not like that," she interrupted him, with the same conviction. ¨My head hurt, I wasn't in my five senses, how could I?¨ she pursed her lips. ¨Look around you. There's no war, no scouting corps, no titans and.... I'm here with you now," Levi's eyes widened. ¨You asked me to trust you, why not do the same with me?¨

Why did her voice sound so broken, why did her eyes get wetter and wetter with every word that came out of her mouth?

Maybe it was because she finally had the chance to bond with someone. With a person different from the ones she had always been around, with a person with whom she got to see a new beginning in her life. But that same person didn't perceive it the same way she did.

First Eren and now Levi?

A twinge in her head made her wrinkle her forehead and hit the back of the furniture. It was an irritating pain accompanied by a sharp sound.

¨Hey, what's wrong?¨ Levi asked, grabbing her shoulders.

¨It's nothing serious. It must be the wine.¨

¨You're not telling me the truth.¨

¨Like you now?¨

¨Mikasa, stop it.¨

She gives him a murderous look, but doesn't renege. Rolling closer to him, she tilts her head to one side, resting it on his shoulder.

¨If that's the case, let me rest then.¨

Levi wants to renege and bring out his strong squad leader voice. But this was Mikasa, it was not such an easy thing.

¨As you wish," he snorted.

The night continues with both of them silent. Only Mikasa's quiet breathing and Levi's heavy breathing could be heard. The girl's words affected him.

She actually thought he didn't live up to what he bragged about. And no, he wasn't. He was a man battered by life and characterized by being lousy with words. Everyone he held so dear, was gone forever. It was always the same. For a person who had lived with the same thing since childhood, it was not easy for him to come clean. He wanted to approach Mikasa, but he restrained himself many times and chose to watch her from afar.

He turns in her direction and notices how sound asleep she is. He details her serene countenance, her long eyelashes, upturned nose and long neck. Her scarf lay on the coat rack by the door.

He sighs. If only she could remember.

¨It's not that I don't trust you, Mikasa," he was aware that was talking to himself. It didn't matter to him, "It's just that I'm afraid of opening up to you, waking up and seeing that you're no longer by my side again.

With those words, which were more like faint whispers, he closed his eyes and let his head fall on hers.

It was a moment he longed to last forever.

Chapter Text

That night, Mikasa had a dream, or was it more of a nightmare? She did not know how to describe it.

She found herself crying, accompanied by the pain that had gripped her head hours before, and the strength of it was much worse. She felt her sanity hanging by a thread between memories of the past and the present. Between Eren and Levi.

She didn't understand why they.

To her left, there was Eren. An innocent Eren, the boy who saved her years ago, the boy who put his scarf on her when she was cold. He looked at her wearily and obfuscatingly, extending the worn piece of cloth to her. There was no trace of sparkle in his beautiful emerald green eyes.

On the other side, to her right, stood Levi, looking much worse than Eren. He looked desperate and with tears at the edge of his eyes. He was moving his lips, but she couldn't hear him.

Reflexively she took a step towards Eren to find out what was wrong, what he needed, what he had. But the annoying screeching in her skull increased.

She turned to Levi and as she approached, the horrible sound didn't bother her. She kept walking and suddenly his voice was clearer. She managed to decipher that he was screaming her name.

She kept walking until she heard not her name, but a phrase.

"Ah" she thought in shock.

That's when she woke up.

Her eyes flitted around trying to get her bearings. Disorientation hit her, though, it didn't take her long to realize that she wasn't in her house, but in Levi's and that she wasn't in her bed, but on Levi's chest.

Her cheeks burned bright red at the fact. How did they end up like this? He was partially lying on the soft couch and she was lying on his body.

Quickly she scrambles to her feet and brings a hand to the chest. It would have been too embarrassing if they had both woken up at the same time.

Rests the eyes on the window and sees the sun's presence looming ever larger in the sky. According to Levi's watch, it was six o'clock. Azumabito's ship was sailing at seven.

Surely Kiyomi would wait as long as it took until she managed to see her. No matter if the trip was delayed.

Machining a quick plan in her mind, she trotted softly to Levi's kitchen, there she carefully prepares a breakfast. She didn't want to wake him up and the night before she was rough with him. Slices of warm bread with cheese cubes and tea served. It was the least she could offer as an apology and grateful. Not just for receiving her and letting her spend the night despite his refusal, but for everything.

After covering the food well, she approaches the entrance where she puts on her booties, scarf and purse. She fixes her disheveled hair and straightens her clothes.

Outside, before closing the door, she takes one last look at Levi.

¨Thank you, really, thank you very much," she whispers.

Constant knocking on the door tells Levi that his sleeping time is over. Irritated and confused, he turns towards the door while scratching one of his eyes, irritated and confused. What time was it? Who was it?

The knocking of the strange (and jerk) visitor, did not seem to want to stop, therefore, he has no choice but to stand up and walk to the door to open it and face whoever dared to disturb his rest.

He is not surprised by Onyankopon's presence, but he is surprised by Armin's. Was it so late that they thought him dead and went to confirm whether that hypothesis was true or not?

¨A'yo, captain!¨ Onyankopon's greeting, as always, denoted joy.

¨What.¨

The taller one shakes his head with a small amused smile at his coolness. It was to be expected.

¨Sorry to wake you," Armin said nervously, glancing at his disheveled appearance. ¨May we come in?¨

Snorting, he steps aside to make way for his uninvited guests. He doesn't overlook the difference in expressions of each. Onyankopon seemed pleased to see that his plan of the previous day did not cause disorder in the hut. The basket was put away and the dishes were clean. Armin, on the other hand, looked as if he was searching for something.

¨I'm sorry I didn't help you yesterday," Onyankopon said sincerely, placing his hat on the rack.

¨Tch, never mind. There was a storm coming," he soothed, making a gesture to play it down. ¨Did you arrived on time¨

¨Yes, luckily," he looked around. ¨You did it fine without me, though.¨

¨It's always like that," he snorted. ¨But it was Mikasa who did everything.¨

¨Mikasa?¨ asked Armin, surprised. Levi nods. ¨She spent the night here?¨

Levi looked away, uncomfortable. He didn't have to be, at the end, they just slept. But it was strange for him to say that: yes, she did indeed spend the night there, and that she slept with him in the same place.

No, he couldn't.

¨Yes.¨

Armin sighed somewhat relieved to know that his friend was safe from the storm. He wanted to ask more questions to his former captain, but he noticed how shy he was, it was better to leave it at that. Knowing that Mikasa was safe was more than enough.

¨Is she here now?¨

¨Uh?¨ Lethargy was still dominating Levi.

¨Mikasa," he clarified, "is she still here?¨

So that was he was looking for.

Of course. Not being one hundred percent awake, he didn't notice that she wasn't beside him, nor did he hear a "What's wrong?" The moment he went to the door.

His mouth falling short of opening to show his little knowledge of the girl's whereabouts, Onyankopon beat him to it, stating that no, she wasn't around.

¨Are you sure?¨ blonde asks. His ringing bordered on desperation.

¨She's not in the backyard, nor in the guest room. Besides, there's food covered in the dining room.¨

¨So she's out," Levi muttered.

¨I'm sorry, Armin. This is the last place she frequents. I thought she'd be here.¨

The blond's countenance falls. A dark shadow covers part of his face as he lets out a breath of air.

¨Don't worry, Onyankopon.¨

¨Hey, Arlert," Levi moved closer to him as he noticed the drastic change. ¨What's wrong with you? Mikasa could be anywhere else.¨

¨That's what I'm afraid of, sir," his light blue orbs pleased on him and noticed his bewilderment. ¨Don't you... You don't know?¨ Levi denied. He looked lost. ¨Today, Azumabito returns to Hizuru. And if Mikasa is not here, nor in the other places we went to, then she might be there with them. The boat must have already...¨

There he stops listening. Armin's voice disappears completely. His brain gives up on finishing listening to it as memories of the night before come flooding back.

Was it happening again?

"Do you want me to?"

As usual, he said nothing.

He said nothing and deflected the subject. He said nothing and an argument formed. He said nothing and... She left?

¨Captain! Where are you going?!¨

He paid no attention to Onyankopon's distress-filled calls. His mind was blank and his body was moving on its own, because at what point did he walk so fast to the door?

¨Captain, your leg!¨

Armin wasn't enough to hold him back either. He shouldn't be forcing himself so much, but damn, once again would he allow someone important to leave his side?

He closes the door thunderously behind him and approaches the steps. He didn't care that the dock was miles from his house, he didn't care if he'd fuck up his injury more, he didn't care about screaming into the ocean when the boat was halfway through the trip. He had to do something, be honest with himself just once.

His foot fails to touch the path leading to the garden with the exit. For there, a few steps away from him, with a little box in her hands, she is.

So beautiful, with eyes full of curiosity and with the wind playing with her tied back hair. But most importantly, she was there.

He steps down and takes long strides to get closer. He didn't want it to be a joke from his subconscious.

But no, it was real.

¨Levi, what the hell are you doing?¨

Her voice was real.

¨You're going to hurt yourself.¨

Her hurried footsteps and face slightly mixed between unease and annoyance were real.

¨Lev...¨

Above all, the warmth of her body being encircled by his arms was also real.

He does not care about the sound of the box falling to the floor, nor the shrieks of surprise from Onyankopon and Armin.

She was there, and that was enough.

His brow furrows at the sudden movement Mikasa makes on his leg. After his outburst, his limb took its toll. Now, she crouched down and massaged his calf area and part of his thigh.

¨You deserve it," she said, sitting down next to him on the couch. The couch where they slept together the night before. ¨You were careless.¨

¨How many times are you going to say those kind of things?¨ he rolled his eyes, carefully placing the leg on the coffee table. In another situation, he wouldn't do that, it was something that bothered him. However, his leg had to stay straight.

¨Enough to equal the amount you were telling me.¨

¨Tch," he repeated the gesture. ¨In that box you brought with you, what's in it?¨

¨Oh, a present from Kiyomi-San," she looked at the box on the side of the table. ¨Sewing is important in Hizuru. When I decided don´t leave, she chose to give it to me.¨

¨I see.¨

And that's all he says.

The conviction he had, disappeared the instant she began to treat his leg. He knew he should talk, damn it, he had hugged her. How could she possibly cause such a mess in him?

¨Did you eat?¨ Mikasa asked, breaking the tense silence.

Onyankopon had mentioned some time ago that there was a meal in the dining hall, but amidst his bewilderment at Arlert's behavior and the unfamiliarity of the situation, he didn't put much stock in it.

To think that those who were looking for her like crazy, left quietly and pretending to be indifferent, was quite ironic to him. But didn't blame them, it was all so unexpected because of the scene that he created.

¨No.¨

She looks at him disapprovingly in between the answer, taking on the countenance of a mother about to reprimand her child.

¨You can't skip the...¨

¨Mikasa," interrupted, "what happened earlier, I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.¨

Mikasa's lips that lay open at his words being cut off, closed abruptly at the turn the conversation takes.

She had been longing to bring up the subject for minutes and didn't know how. She was surprised and at the same time relieved that he had initiated.

¨Don't worry," she spoke softly, "I was surprised... very surprised, but it didn't bother me.¨

Levi sighed at what was said.

¨That's good.¨

They said no more and the silence returns, however, Mikasa sees the doubt in his eyes and doesn't allow it to spread.

¨You want to know why I'm still here, don't you?¨ she urged.

She was there and her vigor returned, there was nothing to lose.

¨Yes," Levi said promptly.

Mikasa takes a breath before starting.

¨It was hard to decide. Knowing the other part of my roots, appealed to me. I wanted to know my mother's origins, what she ate, what she did, what she was taught. At the same time I was afraid of the fact that it would all be very... unknown to me. That the shock would be immense. I felt that I should (and must) go slowly, getting used to the new," pointed to the box with her chin. ¨For that reason, I told Kiyomi-San that I didn't feel ready to go to Hizuru, not now.¨

¨Do you intend to go later?¨ a pressure settled in his chest.

¨I would like to visit, not live. After all, Paradise is the place where I was born, grew up and experienced many things. There are many experiences here. Some good, some bad and some that hurt and will take time to heal.¨

Different memories came to her mind; her loving parents, their death, Eren saving her, her and Carla cooking, Grisha thanking her for the candles she carried every night to light the basement where he worked, her and Eren saving Armin, her listening to Armin excitedly telling about an amazing discovery he found in a new book, her and Sasha cutting potatoes in the kitchen while Jean and Connie argued over something silly, the missions, the war, the rumble, Eren's death, what came after that.

¨But I also realized," she continued, "it's a place where you can go on regardless. And, here are the people I want to be with: Armin, Connie and Jean, Onyankopon," bit the inside of her cheeks, "and most of all, you, Levi.¨

The blue orbs widened.

¨Mikasa," he uttered, not intending to add a predicate.

¨While working in your store, I became aware of many things I did not see before. Whether directly or indirectly, you were a small trigger for me to move forward. I thank you for that.

Levi's lips were moving, trying to get words out, but they just wouldn't come out. That matters little, because she resumes speaking again.

¨And I think... I already remembered your words from that time," she smiled broadly, to the point of making her eyes close. ¨And I accept.¨

A tug made her fall back against Levi. Again he embraced her, warmly and tightly, as before. This time, she doesn't let herself be carried away by the unexpectedness of the moment. She tightens her arms around his waist, reciprocating.

¨You must know I'm horrible with words," he whispered close to her ear.

¨Quite so," she joked, "I know.¨

¨Still, I'm grateful you stayed by my side.¨

The smile crept back on her lips. Because she never heard Levi with such a soft tone (or maybe she never noticed it) and because deep down she knew she wouldn't regret her decision.

The next thing that happens puzzles her. They separate, the distance is short. They both stare at each other. Her cheeks flush. Her heart beats at a rate she hasn't experienced in a long time. She swallows saliva and before she knows it, Levi places his lips on hers.

Her whole being is paralyzed for a few moments and when she comes to, she doesn't pull away, let alone push him away.

Previously, in a cruel world, she knew desolation in expeditions whose outcome was unknown, in war against humans and titans, in betrayals and sad farewells.

Now, in a beautiful and free world, she knew warmth and affection in Levi's support, companionship and sweet kiss.