Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

January 5th, 2017

Logan and Jack were staring at the classroom that held the GSA with a mixed sense of awe and trepidation. "You go in first," Jack said, nudging Logan.

"No way! You go in first!" Logan shot back.

"They don't bite, it's fine," Jack whispered.

"Which is exactly why you shouldn't be a 'fraidy cat' and get in there!" Logan hissed back.

"Uh, are you two waiting for an invitation?" one of the students asked, poking their head outside the doorway.

"No," Jack and Logan said, just a little too quickly to be casual.

The student rolled their eyes. "Come on in. Do you know what orientation you are? Or are you an ally?"

"Oh. Uh. I'm bi," Jack said.

"I'm trans," Logan mumbled.

"Welcome in, bi and trans. I promise we don't bite unless you ask nicely," the student said, with a laugh and a wink.

September 1st, 2021

"Jack! The time has come!" Logan said, stumbling through the door to their dorm room.

"The time for what, Lo?" Jack asked, not looking up from Logan's computer.

"The time for you to fuck me gently with a chainsaw," Logan said. "Because I, for one, am fucking exhausted."

"And making good on the fact that we're not there to hear you swear, apparently," Dad said, voice sounding tinny from Logan's computer.

Logan groaned. "Is it bad to say an expletive in response to that?"

"Well, we certainly wouldn't be amused," Ami replied.

"I was just telling them that I don't know where you went off to, but that you hadn't returned from your first day of classes yet," Jack said.

"Ah. Yeah, that's my bad," Logan said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I didn't expect the introduction to the syllabus to take nearly as long as it did. I had a lot of questions."

"You would," Jack snorted. "Mister 'I'm gonna be an aerospace engineer, how hard could it be?'"

"Oh, shut up," Logan scoffed, kissing Jack on the cheek as he walked over. "Rocket science is so fascinating, how could I choose anything else?"

Dee's face popped into range of the screen, just below Dad and Ami, and he exclaimed, "Rocket science is for nerds!"

Dad and Ami both jumped, and Logan laughed. "Go ahead and collect your ten dollars from Roman, Dee, looks like you successfully startled both Dad and Ami."

"I've been trying for a week!" Dee exclaimed. "Took forever!"

"I'm proud of you," Logan signed at him.

Dee beamed and dashed off-screen.

"Have you found any friends that you like so far, Logan?" Dad asked. "I know it might be a bit early, but..."

"Hey, didn't you and Ami meet on the first day of school?" Logan laughed. "It's not too early to say, but I haven't found anyone I really trust outside Jack yet. They're having a club fair before dinner tonight, though, and I think Jack and I were going to check it out. It might be easier to find like-minded people in those clubs, you know?"

"I agree," Dad said. "It's definitely easier. Just don't shut down anyone outside those clubs, either. After all, Ami wasn't in any of those and we're happily married for almost twenty years now."

Logan laughed. "Thanks, but I've already got a fiancé."

"You know it!" Jack crowed, kissing Logan's cheek.

"Should we let you two go?" Ami asked.

"Probably," Logan sighed. "I'm tired, and I want to vent to Jack a little bit without you guys. No offence. I just need someone to say 'That sucks' rather than offer solutions."

"That's a fair statement," Ami said. "We both know your dad will offer solutions until the cows come home."

"And you're so much better?" Dad asked with a huff.

"We'll leave you two to bicker amongst yourselves," Jack laughed. "Have a good night Mister Emile, Miss Remy."

As soon as Jack logged off, he turned to face Logan. "Do you need cuddles on the bed?"

"I need to take off my binder since we're going out later," Logan said, pulling his shirt off.

Jack simply waited until Logan had coughed free the last of the fluid in his lungs before he asked, "What's up with the rationing binder time the last couple days?"

Logan pulled his shirt back on over his breasts and began to pace. "I don't want the whole world here knowing I'm trans," he said. "I mean, don't get me wrong. Lots of people are accepting. But lots of people aren't. You saw how it was in high school, with all the close-minded bigots. And...this is a college town, but it's a town. Not a city. And we're in a more conservative state. Yes, they have some of the best aerospace engineering programs, and yes, they have good programs for you as well, that's why we chose to apply. But...it's still more conservative than home was, and home had a lot of bigots. I'm definitely going to the Queer groups with you, don't get me wrong, but I want people to believe that I'm just gay. Not trans as well."

Jack leaned back in Logan's chair, mulling over those words. "Okay," he finally said.

"Okay?" Logan asked.

"Okay," Jack agreed. "At the end of the day, it's your decision. Obviously, I'll worry and fret over you sometimes, and I'd like it if you felt safe enough to be out, but sometimes that's just not feasible. You want to pass without questioning or being told you pass 'really well for a trans guy.' That's completely fine."

"I don't deserve you," Logan said, tension leaving his shoulders as he heaved a sigh. "God, Jack. I really don't deserve you."

"But you're stuck with me, that's for sure," Jack said with a grin.

"And I've never been more grateful for that," Logan said with a soft smile.

"Gay~" Jack sang.

"Oh, and you're so much better?" Logan challenged.

"With you by my side? Absolutely," Jack said, pulling Logan down by his shirt for a kiss.

Logan squeaked before kissing Jack back. "That's illegal!" he said when they broke away.

Jack laughed good-naturedly, and his grin never ceased to dazzle Logan. "Bed cuddles?" he offered.

"Bed cuddles," Logan agreed, and the two of them climbed on Jack's bed. The two of them snuggled up close to each other. Not desperate for anything, just content to lay there and let each other's presence soothe them. Logan closed his eyes as Jack reached up to Logan's face and carefully, gingerly, took off Logan's glasses. "What's that for?" Logan asked.

Jack smirked, before kissing Logan hungrily as Logan's glasses clattered onto the dresser. "You always complain about them smudging," Jack murmured to Logan. "I dunno about you, but I'd rather stay in your good graces a while yet."

Logan rolled his eyes and muttered, "As if you could ever leave my good graces."

"It's happened once in a blue moon," Jack murmured, kissing down Logan's jawline to his ear.

"Jack...that's a little much," Logan warned, face growing hot.

Instantly, Jack stopped, looking at Logan with an arched eyebrow. "Unwelcome too much?"

"I'd just appreciate a bit more warning if we're going to be doing anything...steamy," Logan breathed.

"Should I offer a formal invitation?" Jack asked.

Logan narrowed his eyes. "Was that sarcastic?"

"No, Lo. I'm seriously asking. Do you want me to formally invite you to some skin-on-skin?" Jack asked, propping himself up on one arm.

"Ah...not tonight, Jack," Logan said, looking away. "Look, I know we've done it before, but I'm not in the mood right now."

"All cool," Jack said, pulling Logan in close. "I'm fine with just cuddles, and if you don't want to cuddle for very long, that's cool, too. I'm just still riding the novelty of sharing a room with you again."

"Oh, don't pretend I didn't get on your nerves after a while," Logan teased.

"That was more you having to spend half an hour washing your hair than anything else," Jack laughed. "That wasn't you."

"If you say so," Logan said, rolling his eyes.

"I do say so," Jack said, sounding pleased with himself. "So it's true."

Logan laughed in shock. "Your word is not law, Jack. You're fallible."

"Sure I am," Jack agreed. "But that doesn't mean I'm wrong in this case."

"You always this full of yourself?" Logan teased lightly.

"Only around you," Jack said. "Because I know you'll put up with me."

Logan kissed Jack lightly. "It's not 'putting up with you' so much as it is 'enjoying your company and theatrics,' and don't you forget it."

"Okay, okay!" Jack laughed.

They settled back down on the bed, and just as Logan felt like he might doze off, Jack sat up and stretched. "It's time for dinner, Lo," he said.

Logan sighed and nodded, replacing his binder and shirt. In less than a minute, they were out of the dorm room and walking to the cafeteria. Jack kept glancing around them, smiling a little. "It doesn't even feel that cold. It's nice."

"I don't know if this region gets much snow, even in the winter," Logan said idly. "I'm pretty sure it's gonna stay somewhat mild, at least compared to home."

"Yeah, I'm thinking that too," Jack said. "Whatever. It's worth it."

"And we still get that long winter break back home where we can enjoy freezing our extremities off," Logan laughed.

The two of them made it to the cafeteria and ordered their respective foods, sitting down at one of the smaller tables to talk. "So, Lo...are you going to want to head to the Queer Club? If you want...you know?"

"I think so," Logan said, nodding. "It's not that I'm scared of being seen as queer. That's kinda...unavoidable considering that we're dating and sharing a dorm room, you know? It's the other thing I'm hesitant about."

"Okay," Jack said. "So we'll find the Queer Club, and then we'll look around for other clubs that we might find interesting."

"I hope they have a tabletop gaming schedule," Logan said, eyes lighting up. "It would be awesome to play DnD."

Jack laughed. "That'd be cool. And hey, maybe they have some intramural sports. Maybe not lacrosse, but basketball? Just some laid-back sports playing with joking around and not worrying about making it to whatever 'finals' games there are."

"Yeah, you'd enjoy that," Logan said with a little smile.

They continued to chat as they ate, but it wasn't about anything super important. They just...were hanging out. It was weird to be doing it at a college rather than high school, where they knew everyone and they had a bigger friend group, but it wasn't the end of the world. To the contrary, it felt like a new beginning. Where anything and everything was possible.

When they were done, it was out of the cafeteria and to the quad for the two of them. Logan's eyes lit up as soon as he saw all of the options for clubs. "Woah," he breathed.

"I know," Jack said, grinning beside him. "Welcome to college, Lo. Where there are more options for clubs than classes, depending on where you are in your major."

Logan and Jack walked through, looking around. There were some religious and political groups, but they didn't stay near those for long. They gravitated to the Queer group fairly quickly, taking a pamphlet for the both of them. They'd hang out Tuesday nights, and Jack and Logan only had to glance at each other once to know that they were going there, no matter what.

Jack found some of the intramural sports, while Logan found the tabletop gamers, and eagerly signed up. They both found some of the volunteer groups, and fretted over what they should join. "I don't know," Logan said, nibbling his lip. "They all work for good causes."

"Right?" Jack agreed. "Points on resume's aside, they all do good work."

Logan pulled a face and looked around. "Y'know what? I'll join the tutoring program," he decided on impulse.

"Hey, I'll join you," Jack agreed. "How hard could it be, right?"

The girl behind the booth laughed at Jack. "Oh, you'll live to eat those words," she said good-naturedly. "But it'll be a blast, I promise."

"Thanks," Logan said, and Jack followed him away from the table.

"You okay?" Jack asked him in a low voice.

Logan nodded, wincing. "A little short of breath," he admitted softly.

Jack gave him a worried look. "The binder?"

"Plus excitement, I think so, yeah," Logan agreed.

"Let's head back to the dorms, then," Jack said. "We both have three different clubs, that's plenty to start with."

Logan nodded, and the two of them made their way back to the dorms. Logan tore off his binder the first chance he got, coughing a little rougher than earlier in the day. "God, I hope I'm not coming down with something," he said weakly. "I'd hate to have to wear a hoodie around because I couldn't handle my binder."

Jack nodded sympathetically. "Just be careful, Lo."

"Always."

Chapter Text

September 11th, 2020

Logan had enough. He had been listening to this mouth-breather go on and on for an hour about how he didn't deserve rights, and he stood up so fast the chair he had been sitting in screeched. "So you're saying that anyone who's trans doesn't deserve to live the life they were meant to live? That they should sit down, shut up, and conform to your narrow-minded views? You want nearly fifty percent of the transgender population to die, because they refuse to live in your view of a 'perfect world'?"

"I mean, come on, it's not like anyone in this room is one of those freaks!" the guy laughed.

The room went awkwardly silent as everyone looked away. Logan laughed. "Oh, sweetheart, you must have just transferred here. Haven't you heard? I'm that freak! I'm transgender!"

The guy opened his mouth, but Logan just grabbed his books. "Save your apology, I don't wanna hear it." And with that, he walked out of class as the bell rang.

September 7th, 2021

Tuesday night had come, and Logan and Jack walked into the Queer Club's room, holding hands and grinning. Logan looked around. There were people around them with a bunch of piercings, some people with crazy dyed hair, some people who looked casual, and some were dressed to the nines. In other words, it was a perfect place to be themselves, that reminded Logan of his high school GSA. "Hello!" Jack said with a wave. "Hope we're not late?"

"Nah, club doesn't start for another five minutes," one student said, turning to look at them. "Name's Cass, she/her. I'm a butch lesbian. You?"

"Jack, he/him, bisexual," Jack said.

"Logan, he/him, just queer is fine, thanks," Logan added.

Cass nodded. "Take a seat, boys. We're just here to hang out and introduce ourselves. No real topic for tonight's discussion outside of that."

The two grabbed chairs next to each other, mumbling greetings to those who they sat next to. Everyone seemed to be lazily waiting for the main event to happen. And once a few more freshman stumbled into the room, Cass stood on her chair, bright red hair flying in all directions, and whistled. "Listen up, punks! The time has come to be who you are, no questions asked, and no one can say otherwise, understand? It's time to be proud of who you are! Queer, questioning, whatever! When time comes to introduce yourself, say your name, pronouns, orientation if you wanna, and what you can add to an army to smash the patriarchy!"

The older students were snickering. "Come on, Cass, go easy on 'em!" one student called.

"This is easy!" Cass lobbed back with a grin. "I'll go first. Cass, she/her. Butch lesbian and a single pringle. I'm one of the scary trans women the media warned you about when you were kids, and I'll easily smash anyone who gets in my way!"

She turned and nodded to the somewhat intimidated freshman to her right. "Go on, introduce yourself," Cass said, stepping down from the chair.

"Uh...I'm Julia, and I'm...questioning whether or not I'm a lesbian, but I know I like girls somehow, whether or not I like other genders is what I'm wondering. She/her. And...and I can smash the patriarchy by calling out those people who think they own women just because they were nice to you at one point," the girl said, slowly growing more confident the more she spoke.

Cass nodded approvingly and turned to the next student. They went around the circle, until it was Jack's turn. When it was, he jumped onto a desk and said, "Jack Harkness, reporting for duty to smash the patriarchy! He/him, bisexual, and ready to flirt with all the d-bags who try and insist that I have to date a girl, just because I can be attracted to them."

Logan was red in the face as Jack jumped off the desk and bowed. "Take it away, Lo!" Jack encouraged.

"Uh, Logan. He/him. Transgender, though if you tell anyone outside this room I will have to take you out," he said, and everyone nodded solemnly. "Queerer than a rainbow, and I help smash the patriarchy by helping those who don't feel comfortable in their government-assigned gender finding what fits for them, and recruiting them for our army."

Cass gave him a nod. "Important job," she said sagely.

"One that I do not take lightly," Logan agreed.

Cass grinned and the next person went on to introduce themselves. Once everyone had gone, Cass nodded. "You all are part of my army, now, especially you freshmen," she said. "You may be adults, but you're still my kids as long as you want someone to look out for you, all right?"

Everyone laughed and Cass laughed too, but Logan knew she was serious. He started to gravitate towards her, and when everyone broke off into groups to chat, he, Jack, and Cass wound up talking. "What is it like, being trans and a lesbian?" Logan asked. "I mean, I understand the inverse, but...are women more understanding?"

"You'd think so," Cass snorted. "Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. I'm saving up for the big snip, though, and some people are intimidated by the fact that I haven't gotten it yet." She shook her head. "Doesn't help that it's so damn expensive."

Logan nodded. "I've been saving for top surgery for years, but because I don't have a steady job, I'm nowhere near close enough for it yet."

"Get a job on campus," Cass said. "I know the library's been looking for people to help out. That'll get you some work experience and the money they give you doesn't go straight to tuition. You can save it for anything you might want in terms of hormones or surgery."

"Good idea," Jack said.

Cass smirked. "I know, I'm full'a them."

Logan smiled. "You think it was safe for me to say I'm trans, right? No one will go around telling anyone?"

"Everyone takes those sorts of things to the grave if you don't want it shared," Cass nodded. "You're not wrong, wanting to stay in the closet about that part of you. I started transitioning while I was in college, so I couldn't exactly hide it, but...believe me, it's definitely hard when you're definitely in 'The South' and trying to be trans."

"This isn't the Bible Belt, but it always could be better, couldn't it?" Logan sighed.

"Exactly the problem, kid," Cass agreed. "Don't worry, though. You're safe here."

Logan grinned. "Thanks. It's nice to have someone outside Jack who can watch my back."

"Of course," Cass said. "There's many more of us out there, though we may not all be as easy to find as here. The world's coming around, slowly but surely. We'll have our steps forward and backwards along the way, but we're destined for greatness."

"And to smash the patriarchy," Jack added with a quirk of his lips.

"That's the spirit!" Cass crowed.

They brought out some foam balls to toss around from student to student and Logan was laughing next to Jack, who was trying to intercept every ball he could. Logan wasn't sure how this would shake out, exactly, but he knew he had allies in the Queer Club, and that made him feel ten times safer than he had this morning.

Cass sat down next to him heavily with a sigh, after Jack got up and ran over to a few kids who were hanging back to see if they were okay, and if they wanted to join in. "How you holding up?" she asked him.

Logan sighed. "I can't stop wondering if I made the right choice coming here. I mean, don't get me wrong, I need the aerospace engineering degree, but..." he shrugged, "...The views on trans people...it scares me."

"The guy you walked in with doesn't seem to mind," Cass noted.

"Yeah. Jack's my roommate, and my boyfriend. I'm safe with him. Safe to take off my binder around, too. He doesn't care whether I have it on or off, doesn't trip up over my pronouns, doesn't even question my decision to stay in the closet for as long as possible. He's just...the most supportive person in my life."

Cass smiled. "I hope you realize how lucky you are to have someone like him helping you."

"Oh, believe me, I know," Logan said with a sage nod. "I could never, ever take him for granted."

Cass nodded. "Good. 'Cause he seems like the kinda guy for you. You give off that slightly shy, bookish type. And the loud but dorky ones seem to pair well with the shy, bookish ones. And that's just the facts."

Logan's lips quirked up into a smile. "Good to hear."

"You don't need to take my word for it, either. Most people will agree. Especially if they've known both of you for a while. You ever tell your high school friends about your dating?"

"We've been dating since we were in high school, so yeah," Logan said.

"You've got a lot of trust in him, going to the same college," Cass admired.

Logan shrugged. "So?"

"Just...it's nice to see people have faith in each other every once in a while," Cass said. "Just don't let that faith blind you to all flaws."

"I won't," Logan promised.

Cass clapped him on the shoulder and stood as Jack came back over with the two kids who were hanging back. "Hey, Lo! These two are Liza and Mika! Do you mind if they sit near us? I figured it'd be nice to talk to them some and if they're cool we could invite them to our dorm room sometime?"

"Yeah, sounds good," Logan agreed.

Mika sat down a little more confidently than Liza did, and Mika said, "I really liked your recruitment thing for smashing the patriarchy."

"Thanks," Logan said with a little sniff of amusement. "I'm responsible for helping both my little sibling and my Ami figuring out their labels."

"Your...Ami?" Liza asked.

"He's genderfluid, uses 'he' when he doesn't know or needs a default, but doesn't get called 'Dad' for obvious reasons," Logan said with a shrug. "He's pretty cool, for a parent. And if you ever tell him I said that, I will never live it down."

"We won't tell," Mika said with a toothy grin. "Right, Liza?"

"Right," Liza said. "Mika and I share and English class. They're the only one I recognized today."

Jack nodded. "It's nice to have a familiar face, but don't forget that it's important to come out of your shell sometimes, too."

"I would argue that even coming here is doing that," Logan said.

"Of course you'd say that, you're an introvert," Jack said.

"And who's to say that Liza here isn't as well?" Logan shot back.

Jack considered this. "Okay, fair point," he conceded.

Liza offered Logan a hesitant smile. "Thanks," she said.

"Of course," Logan replied.

Liza settled in next to Logan a little, and Logan counted that as a success for the evening. Liza wasn't very talkative, but she didn't need to be. Mika and Jack were significantly more rowdy, roughhousing with their words and occasionally stepping on each others toes on accident, or on purpose, but it was all in good fun. The two of them seemed to have fun doing it, so Logan wasn't going to question it.

When the allotted time for the club had ended, everyone was leaving the classroom, and Logan kept his head down as he passed some students who were muttering darkly. "Those the weird ones?" one of them asked.

"They call themselves the 'Queer Club,'" another scoffed. "At least they got one half of that right."

Logan's ears burned and his hands were shaking in rage. Jack lightly touched his wrist and Logan took a deep breath. Getting into a fight with these types led nowhere fast. He was much better off just moving on and pretending he didn't hear them. He did get Ami's protective-slash-self-destructive streak, though, as Dad called it.

Jack led Logan through the halls until there weren't any students looking to pick a fight with them and Logan tilted his head back, already in full rant mode. "God, Jack, where do those a-holes get off?! Don't they know that we're just trying to live our lives like anybody else is?"

"I wish there were an easy answer to that, Lo," Jack said softly. "You ready to head back to our place?"

"Yeah," Logan grumbled. "Yeah, I'm ready."

The two of them walked back to their dorm room and Logan took several deep breaths after he took off his binder. "God," he grumbled.

"Indeed," Jack agreed. "Though I think that their god might be more than a little bit...judge-y."

"You think?" Logan asked with a faint hint of amusement. "I haven't had to go to church often in my life, but when I have...it hasn't been pretty."

"Mm," Jack hummed. "Suddenly very glad that my parents are relatively agnostic."

"Yeah," Logan laughed. "My first set of parents were the, 'It's Christmas or Easter, we have to keep up appearances' crowd. Garden-variety transphobes."

Jack nodded. "At least you have a second set that's much more understanding."

"Indeed," Logan agreed.

Chapter Text

July 15th, 2021

"Okay, what's the hang-up you're having, Ami?" Logan asked softly as Ami stared intently at the computer screen.

"It's just...someone else might need these more than I do," Ami said. "My dysphoria isn't that bad..."

"But you do have dysphoria?" Logan asked.

Ami sighed. "Yeah," she admitted, rubbing her temples.

"Then buy the breast forms. You need them to feel better about yourself," Logan said. "Buy a nice push-up bra for them, too, so they look perkier, if that's something you want."

Ami was bright red. "Would...would you help me figure out bra sizes?"

Logan nodded, putting his hand on Ami's shoulder. "I'm the only one who understand them in this house, of course I will," he said. "But I draw the line at helping you find lingerie."

"Oh, god, no!" Ami laughed. "No, that definitely won't be necessary."

October 14th, 2021

Logan was enjoying playing DnD, even if everyone there was a self-proclaimed nerd. Actually, the more he thought about it, that may have been exactly the reason why it was so fun. Mason was their DM, Sophia played a rogue, Lily-Anne was a bard, and Jeff was a paladin. Logan played a ranger, and he was loving every second of their sessions, which often went on for two hours at a time, minimum. "I'm calling it now, it's the demigorgon," Sophia said, leaning against the table with her hand propping up her head.

"It's not gonna be the demigorgon!" Jeff exclaimed. "You say that every time, and it never is!"

"One of these times, I'll be right," Sophia said with a grin.

"Someone's watched too much Stranger Things, methinks," Lily-Anne said.

Mason rolled his eyes at their antics. "What do you do about the door?" he asked.

"I roll to pick it open," Sophia said, picking up her d20 and giving it a shake before letting it fly across the table. "Ha! Nineteen!"

"The lock opens with a small click, and the door creaks open," Mason said. "Inside, you can hear something panting. Something that definitely isn't human."

"Welp, we're screwed!" Logan said. "So much for the reward money for finding little lost Tommy."

Jeff snorted and Lily-Anne squawked. "That's terrible!" she exclaimed.

Mason reached for something behind his screen and slammed down a piece on the table. "The door bursts open, and a hungry wolf comes charging towards you all! What do you do?"

"I roll to seduce it!" Jeff laughed.

"No," Mason said. "Quickly, now, it's deciding who to charge first!"

"I notch an arrow and let it fly," Logan said. "Armor class on this thing?"

"Twelve," Mason said. "Good fucking luck, man, you always roll terribly."

Logan took his dice and let them roll. "Thirteen!" he laughed. "That's six damage!"

"It hits!" Mason said, genuinely shocked. "The wolf howls in pain, and you all brace yourselves for a fight! Roll for initiative!"

Everyone did so, and the fight commenced. They got out by the skin of their teeth, Lily-Anne taking the worst of the hits, and only having two health left when the fight was over. "Good job!" Sophia crowed. "We should probably see if the boy is still alive, now."

They walk into the next room, and somehow, miraculously, Mason says the boy is alive, but badly injured. They all agree to take the boy back into town, and all of them sigh as that leg of their campaign comes to a close. "That was...a lot," Logan breathed.

"Tell me about it," Jeff said. "I thought we were gonna die."

"We really almost did," Sophia said, shaking her head. "Thanks for the session, Mason."

"Yeah, seriously, thank you," Logan agreed.

"It was fun," Mason said. "Just be ready for next time to have even higher stakes than a missing kid, because the campaign is far from over."

"This is gonna be good," Jeff said, rubbing his hands together.

"I don't know about you all, but I'm feeling like grabbing some fries from the diner," Lily-Anne said. "Care to join me?"

The diner was the unofficial hang-out for many of the students, not least because they were an alternative to eating at the cafeteria if classes ran late. "I'll come along," Logan offered.

Lily-Anne grinned. "Awesome! Anyone else?"

"I'll join," Mason said. "I had to study during dinner and didn't eat nearly as much as I should have."

Logan winced. "Yeah, you have a wicked fast metabolism."

Mason pulled a face. "I know, it sucks."

"I actually should head back to my dorm to study, but have fun, you guys," Sophia said.

"Yeah, I think my mom's gonna start calling if I don't tell her I'm heading home soon," Jeff said, stretching. "You three head out."

Logan nodded as they all packed their stuff up and headed out to their respective paths. "It's nice," Logan said, looking up at the starry sky. "Kinda thought it would rain today, but apparently, I was wrong."

"Well we had a seventy percent chance," Lily-Anne said. "Not surprised you thought that might happen."

Mason sighed. "God, this week was rough," he grumbled. "Some people in my PoliSci class and I got in a fight over the LGBT community on Wednesday."

"For or against?" Logan asked.

"I argued for," Mason said. "'Cause even if I don't agree with all that they do, they should have that choice, y'know? My religion shouldn't dictate their choices. But these...these asshats thought that anyone who's under that umbrella ought to be left for dead, or worse."

Logan grimaced. "Glad you're at least open-minded about that sorta thing," he said.

"Yeah," Mason nodded. "Like, I know you've got a boyfriend, man. And that's not for me, but it's not my life."

"I don't know about you, but it's transgender people I get the least," Lily-Anne said. "Like, hormones and stuff do permanent changes. Surgery is so...serious. Why would anyone go through with that?"

"I mean," Mason shrugged. "Some people feel like they need that. And I won't say they shouldn't get it just 'cause I'm a Christian kid."

"No, I agree," Lily-Anne said. "Just saying."

Logan was suddenly very glad he passed well enough for most people to assume he was cisgender. Mason and Lily-Anne were his friends. Not his closest friends, everyone he was closest with were parts of the Queer Club, but he still didn't want to lose his friends over the fact that he was trans. "I mean, just my two cents," Logan said. "But lots of trans people kill themselves because they can't be who they are. Surgery and hormones are serious solutions to a serious problem for those types of folks."

"Do you know anyone who's trans, Logan?" Lily-Anne asked. "I mean, you're not from around here. You grew up in a bluer state. Was there anyone at your high school who was trans?"

"Quite a few people," Logan said. "I've heard their stories, I've seen the kind of pain that non-acceptance causes. It's no joke."

Lily-Anne nodded. "Maybe you could educate me about that stuff more sometime," she said.

"Me too," Mason said. "I want to understand better."

Logan gave a half-hearted shrug. "Maybe sometime, yeah," he agreed.

Mason stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Did we say the right thing? Earlier?" he asked. "I mean, you're in the Queer Club, right? You know more about this than we do."

"Well, I wouldn't vocalize that you don't understand trans people," Logan said with a wince. "And I also wouldn't vocalize that you don't agree with them on a personal level. If someone is coming out to you, it's because they trust you. They're sharing something serious with you. They want your support. If you don't agree with someone personally, then keep that to yourself. Just say, 'I support you.' Like you said, Mason. It's not your life. They just want to know you won't beat someone up for being queer. That you'll let them talk about their partners, or their transition, or their identity, without fear."

"Oh," Lily-Anne said. "I've learned some stuff about trans people, like don't ask if they've had 'The Surgery,' but that's all they're asking?"

"Most of the time," Logan agreed. "And for what it's worth, there usually isn't one magic surgery that turns you into your desired gender. It's...a lot of work, and a lot of money."

"How come you know so much about that?" Mason asked. "Like, you're talking with more certainty than I usually hear you use."

"Well, I was friends with some trans people in high school. Close friends. They'd complain to me. And...uh...it's not my place to out anyone, but there are people in my family who are trans, too."

"People?!" Lily-Anne asked. "As in, plural?"

"As in plural," Logan confirmed. "I helped them with research."

"Woah," Mason said. "You're braver than I am, man."

"Why?" Logan asked. "After all, it's just research."

"No, but like..." Mason gestured vaguely. "I'm just...kinda shocked that you could look into that without fear."

"I don't get why you'd be afraid," Logan said as they walked into the diner. "They don't have graphic pictures of the surgeries just...out in the open."

"What happens if you question your whole...identity if you do that, though?" Mason asked.

"Then you question it," Logan said, brows furrowing. "I'm not sure I understand the significance. Asking questions is a healthy part of getting to know yourself."

Mason shook his head. Logan felt a little irritation start to flare up. "Being trans isn't like cooties, Mason. Neither is being any flavor of queer."

"No, no! I know! I know that!" Mason insisted as they stood in line to order.

"Do you?" Logan asked. "Because the way you're acting right now? I'm not so sure."

"Jesus Christ, Logan!" Mason snapped. "I was just trying to compliment you!"

"For being a decent human being?" Logan asked. "Because I see that as a requirement, not a nicety."

"Boys! Let's just drop it!" Lily-Anne cut in. "Before things get too heated!"

Logan felt his ears burn as he turned away and ordered a soda. He hated this, so much. Honestly, why was it so shocking that he might help someone research stuff about being trans? And why were Mason and Lily-Anne being so...moderate with conservative-leaning ideals about this whole thing?

Grabbing his soda, Logan took a seat and Mason sat down across from him heavily. "Look, Lo, I'm sorry. Clearly I struck a nerve, even if I don't know why."

Logan worked his jaw. "There was this kid in my high school class," he said. "He was kicked out of his house because he was transgender. He was homeless for three months before they could find someone to officially take him in. People who don't understand are everywhere, even in bluer states. To me, helping someone who's transgender is basic human decency. I don't want anyone ending up like that kid I knew."

Mason went quiet as Lily-Anne walked over. "That's messed up," he said softly.

"Yeah," Logan bit. "Hence why it's a bit of a touchy subject for me."

Mason nodded. "Yeah. Sorry. I didn't know."

"Didn't expect you to," Logan said. "I don't broadcast that kid's life story out for all to know. I especially don't try to use it as 'trans ally points.' It's his story. He should choose when to share it."

Mason nodded. "Definitely," he agreed.

Lily-Anne looked between them. "Everything cool?" she asked.

"Yeah, we're cool," Mason said. "Had a minor nerve struck, but Logan explained why it stung and I won't say anything like I did again."

"At least, not intentionally," Logan pointed out. "There's still a lot for you to learn."

"True," Mason allowed. "But I'm willing to learn it."

They called Mason and Lily's orders and both of them went up to grab their food. Logan watched them go and silently asked Mason, Are you really willing, though?

Logan shook his head. If Mason said he was, then he was. There wasn't a need to doubt him. Most people who said they wanted to learn really did want to learn. True, they might not like being called out, but they wouldn't jump down someone's throat for pointing out something they said was wrong.

Mason and Lily-Anne came back, and Logan smiled, sipping at his soda. He checked the time. Jack should be heading here for his post-basketball game hang out in three minutes or so. Logan could hang out with Mason and Lily-Anne 'til then. "So, other than that argument in your PoliSci class, what else happened?" Lily-Anne asked.

Launching into a play-by-play of how much homework Mason had to do, Logan rolled his eyes playfully and pointed out that he had more as a budding rocket scientist. The three of them chatted for a while, well after the intramural basketball teams showed up, and Jack had to drag Logan back to their room after a while. "How'd the campaign go?" Jack asked when they were alone.

Logan took off his binder. "Let's just say I'm glad I pass as cis," Logan said drily. "That wasn't campaign related, but Mason and Lily-Anne still have some...archaic views I'm working with them on."

"Ouch," Jack winced. "If anyone can get through to them, though, it's you, Lo."

Logan smiled. "Thanks, Jack."

Chapter Text

July 25th, 2021

Logan shook his head as Patton twirled in their sundress at the beach. "Come on, Logan! Are you sure you won't join our dance?"

"Yeah, please?" Dee pestered.

"I love you guys, but I'm not doing 'Orange Justice' on the beach for a video for Grandma and Granddad," Logan said.

"Is that the only reason?" Virgil asked. "Because if that's the only reason, that means you know the Fortnite dance."

"Of course I know the dance, Roman pestered me incessantly to do it for the theater techs until I actually did it and they all collectively lost their tiny minds," Logan scoffed. "But I'm not willing to destroy my carefully cultivated reputation for that."

"Fine, be boring," Dee huffed. "But when I find what you will destroy your reputation for, it's over for you."

"Naturally," Logan agreed.

October 26th, 2021

Logan leaned back in his chair, squinting at the girl in front of him. "You're kidding me," he told her. "You have to be kidding me."

"Swear on my life, it's true," Cameron said with a grin. "Mason tripped over his own feet from staring at me a little too long. I pass to him without a second thought!"

"Hey, not bad, me too!" Logan said, giving Cameron a high-five. "I'll warn you, Mason isn't the most open-minded individual, but I have plans to change that. You know, get into a political rant here or there, because he loves those. Get him to see that us queer folk want to be able to live our lives however we want, you know?"

"So, don't come out to him just yet, but definitely friends, got it," Cameron said with a grin. Her dimples were showing and Logan knew that if he weren't queer, Cameron would be giving Jack a run for his money.

Jack sauntered over to them and said, "What's going on?"

"Cameron and I have a mutual friend," Logan said. "And we're both so stealth he can't clock either of us."

"Oh, sweet!" Jack said. "That's pretty cool."

"Yeah. Being passable isn't the end-all-be-all, I know, but it does make me feel a little better about myself to know that most people will look at me and just see a woman," Cameron said.

"I don't know why anyone would want to be a woman, but I see you and I respect you," Logan said, holding his hand up for a high-five.

"Hell yeah!" Cameron laughed, smacking Logan's hand a little harder than strictly necessary.

Jack plopped down in a chair next to them and said, "So. What are we thinking in terms of November plans, once the dreaded midterms are over?"

"Well, we do get Thanksgiving off for a bit. All roots of the holiday aside, I'm ready for a break," Cameron laughed.

Logan snorted. "Agreed."

Jack laughed. "Come on, we haven't even gotten to midterms yet! You can't get that break for a little while!"

Logan flipped Jack the bird with a groan.

Jack kissed Logan's middle finger in retaliation. "Hey, at least both of us are fluent enough in ASL we don't have to worry about foreign language courses!" Jack said. "Most freshmen have been suffering with their ASL classes!"

"The lumberjack story?" Logan asked. "Oh, yeah. I don't understand how anyone could do that in under five minutes."

Jack laughed. "So that's one good thing to think about! You don't have to freak about ASL as a midterm!"

"No, just English, and Calculus, and Physics, and Studio Art." Logan shuddered. "God, Studio Art is hard. Not because of any of the tasks in it are difficult, per se, but it's really hard to not just broadcast that I'm trans, you know?"

"God, yeah, going stealth sucks sometimes," Cameron said. "It would be nice to just...have it come up casually in conversation, but this isn't the kind of place where you see a lot of that."

"Excluding the Queer Club, I hope?" Jack asked.

"Yes, excluding the Queer Club. It's nice to not have anyone randomly staring at my crotch to establish my junk in gym glass," Cameron said.

"Oh, yeah, I'm not looking forward to Phys Ed requirements purely for that reason," Logan said with a shudder. "I'm not ready for all the guys to know I have to wear a sports bra."

"Can you just...lie?" Cameron asked. "Say you have that...that thing that makes guys grow breasts?"

"In theory," Logan sighed. "Truth be told, though, I'd much rather just talk to the coaches and ask that I change in a bathroom stall instead of the locker room."

"Yeah, that would be easier," Cameron sighed. "I have to tuck and wait for everyone around me to have left the locker room before I feel comfortable changing. I keep meaning to talk to the volleyball coach about it, but I don't have the guts."

"Send them an email?" Logan proposed. "I think you'll find that it's a lot easier, and a lot less scary. Despite what some people insist, you don't have to come out in person to everyone you meet."

Cameron nodded. "True, but...we're almost through the semester anyway. Midterms are coming up. If I can hold out just a little while longer, I'll be home free."

"Is that worth it to you?" Logan asked.

"I mean..." Cameron shrugged. "I'm not really sure."

"If you're not completely sure it's worth it, I'd suggest the email," Jack cut in. "It's a hell of a lot easier to head it off before it becomes an issue, you know?"

"I guess," Cameron sighed. "It's just...intimidating."

"Yeah," Logan agreed. "But it'll be worth it in the long run."

"Yeah, I agree," Cameron said. "Thanks, Logan. Jack."

"'Course," Jack said, as Logan merely nodded.

Conversation died down a little bit as Cass walked in the room, the club officially starting. "All right, knuckleheads, who's ready to prove that the queers are actually good people?!" she asked, throwing a fist in the air.

Logan whooped along with a few other people, and Jack clapped, grinning. "What've you got for us, Cass?"

"We're working on writing letters for sick kids in the local hospital," Cass said. "The idea is to lift their spirits a bit. Nothing like a long-hand letter with some doodles or drawings to hang up!"

Logan couldn't help smiling at that. Cass had a rough exterior, but she also had a heart of gold. He had no doubt she had gotten the idea from one of her friends online, or maybe saw a news article, and figured that everyone here could contribute.

Everyone was excited as Cass passed out paper and crayons and markers and pens. "Try not to focus on the why they're there so much, because we don't know. Focus on how awesome the kids are, and how you admire them and their fighting abilities!"

"They're like superheroes," Cameron piped up.

Cass pointed to her. "Exactly my point, baby! You've got it!"

As the room buzzed with people grabbing supplies and starting to write or draw, Logan grabbed the stuff he, Jack, and Cameron would need, before heading back to their seats. "You know, this wasn't what I expected to be doing tonight, but this is fantastic," Logan said.

"Absolutely," Jack said with a grin. "Hey, Cass! Any Whovian kids at the hospital, you think?"

"I can ask my friend who's a nurse there," Cass said. "Why?"

"Because whoever is, I want them to get a signed letter from Captain Jack Harkness himself!" Jack crowed.

Logan grinned. "Hey, using your name for good! I love it!"

The two of them high-fived, as Cass pulled out her phone and shot off a couple texts. They were well into making the letters when Cass whooped. "Jackpot! Jack, they've got three known Whovians in the pediatric ward! You'd better be up for making three letters so they don't get jealous of each other!"

Jack gave her a salute and wrote faster. Logan laughed and continued his drawing TARDISes and planets in the margins of his letter. Maybe being a rocket scientist wasn't as cool as being Jack freaking Harkness, but Logan wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to compliment kids with nerves of steel. He was sending people to space and these kids had to be ten times as brave! He hoped it would make whoever got the letter crack a smile.

Cameron looked over at Logan's letter and whistled. "You've got a lot of doodling skills, Logan. My letter looks boring compared to yours."

"I mean, if you want, when you're done, I can doodle on your letters as well," Logan offered. "But I think your using the rainbow glitter pen is still going to make someone smile wide enough that their face will hurt."

Cameron chuckled. "You think so?" she asked hopefully.

"I know so," Logan said. "I have three younger brothers and one younger sibling. And all of them adore bright colors in one form or another."

"How young is the youngest?" Cameron asked.

"Around eight," Logan said. "So don't think you can squirm out of this by saying they've changed their minds since they were younger."

Cameron whistled. "Dang, you've got a younger sibling who's eight?! Your parents got busy, huh?"

"Actually, we're all adopted," Logan said. "My biological dad donated to a sperm bank. And all of us are his."

"Wait, what?!" a guy across the room asked. "Logan. My man. That's insane."

"I know," Logan said with a small grin. "But fortunately for everyone adopted by my dads, they don't get phased by chaos thrust upon them."

"Yeah, super lucky," the guy whistled. "My parents could never."

Logan laughed. "My dads are top-tier parenting material. And they have the patience of saints. Though I'm not a priest, so don't quote me on that."

The guy laughed. "I'm going to seminary, I could interview them if you want?"

"Nah," Logan laughed. "I really don't want Dad going into an in-depth rant with you about Catholicism. And Ami is just...ambivalent to religion, so the 'patience of a saint' would necessarily register as a compliment to him."

"Suit yourself, man, but that's one wild family you have," the guy said with a grin.

"I know," Logan said, rolling his eyes. "I'm a part of it. I know better than any of you exactly how crazy my parents, and brothers, and sibling, are."

"Except maybe me," Jack said. "But that's still a maybe, because I'm not at Lo's house twenty-four seven."

"Frequently? Yes. Omnipresent? No," Logan laughed.

Logan fielded a few more questions about his family from various students as everyone worked on the letters. Logan was happy to answer them, explaining that Patton was nonbinary, and Ami was Ami because he was genderfluid, just using 'he' pronouns as a default, and no, he didn't know his dads from the beginning of his life, but he had known them for most of high school, and he was super glad that he did.

"Wait, why were you adopted by your biological dad, if he was a sperm donor?" Cameron asked.

"Oh. My biological mother and her husband were transphobes. I came out, mom's hubby kicked me out, she didn't try to stop him. Couch-surfed at Jack's place for a couple months until my social worker found who my biological dad was. He and Ami were already trying to adopt my brother Roman, so they just added me to the list. But kids kept dropping at their doorstep, figuratively speaking, and soon enough we had to move to a bigger house just to fit everyone," Logan laughed. "Five kids, two adults, and a pet dog. Our place had to be big if we had a hope of housing everyone."

"Wow," Cass said. "That's wild, man."

"I know," Logan said. "It makes for quite a college application essay. That, coupled with my grades, means that I got almost a full-ride here."

"Nice," Cass said with a nod. "Definitely milk that story for all its worth, because grad school ain't cheap."

"Neither is undergrad," Logan pointed out.

"Too true," Cass sighed. "You done with that letter?"

"Hm? Oh. Yeah," Logan said, passing the letter to Cass and grabbing another piece of paper.

"Jack, how's your letters coming?" Cass asked.

Jack furiously scribbled his name across the bottom of the letter he was working on and sighed. "Got three letters for massive Whovians all written!" he panted, giving a thumbs-up. "God, that's the fastest I've written anything in my entire life."

Logan laughed. "Are you sure? The SAT and ACT essay portions are brutal."

"I'm sure," Jack assured him. "My hands. Are. Pain."

Logan laughed as he wrote another letter, doodling Saturn in the corner. "Oh, you'll be fine, Jack," he said. "No need to go melodramatic on me."

"There's every reason to go melodramatic on you," Jack insisted.

"Namely?" Logan asked.

"It drives you nuts," Jack said with a thousand-watt smile.

Chapter Text

October 15th, 2016

Logan was shaking. He was sitting on his bed, when the thought came out of nowhere: What would happen if I killed myself?

He quickly chased the thought away. He didn't want to die. Sure, life wasn't always sunshine and roses, but it was worth living. That thought terrified him and he didn't want to focus on that. He buried his head in a book to distract himself. Everything would be fine. He knew that. He'd be fine, there was no need to think about thoughts as dark as those.

With some reading, Logan was able to calm himself down before dinner. He walked out of his room like nothing was wrong. Later he would look up what he was thinking and figure out it was an intrusive thought. But for now, he just had to pretend like everything was fine during dinner.

November 21st, 2001

Logan was playing on his phone, with Dee happily sitting next to him reading, when Dad mentioned in passing, "Oh, shoot, I forgot. Logan, do you mind looking after the kids tonight? Ami and I are catching up with some college friends, and Roman's friends are going to be bringing him home later than usual."

"Do I have to?" Logan asked. "Jack and I were hoping to visit have a date tonight."

Dad sighed. "I don't want to have to order you to do it, but I can't find a sitter in time, and I'd feel better knowing that you were here."

Logan gave an overexaggerated groan. "Oh, fine. Looks like I'm stuck with you, tonight, Dee."

Dee gave a laugh that sounded like a cross between startled and offended. "Stuck with me?" he asked, wrinkling his nose.

"In jest, of course," Logan said.

"Of course," Dee said, no inflection in his voice as he returned to reading.

"Thank you, Logan. Ami and I should be home by ten," Dad said, giving Logan a hug. "...And I'm already running late. Double shoot." He grabbed his coat, yelling a goodbye and heading out the door.

"Hey Logan," Dee said, flipping a page in his book.

"Yeah?" Logan asked.

"I'm not feeling great, so I think I'm gonna head upstairs for a bit. Wake me when it's time for dinner?" he asked.

"Yeah, of course," Logan said, watching Dee stand up and robotically leave the room. Inwardly, he frowned. He hadn't seen Dee act quite like this before. The closest he ever got was when Dee was uncomfortable around everyone still, and he lied whenever he spoke. But he hadn't done that in years. He frowned, turning back to his phone. Maybe his joke had been out of line. Dee was always a little more sensitive to that sort of thing than Logan was. "I'll apologize to him when it's time for dinner," he resolved, going back to flipping through his phone.

The house was quiet for a while after that. Patton and Virgil were playing on the computers downstairs, and Logan was reading, and Dee was, presumably, just lying down. Logan's phone rang and he picked it up. "Hey, Jack," he greeted.

"Hey. We still on for our date tonight?" Jack asked.

"Ah, sorry, man. I got saddled with baby-sitting duty tonight, because Roman's apparently running late with his friends and Dad and Ami are meeting some of their college friends."

"Aw, that's a bummer," Jack said.

Logan shrugged. "Eh, it is what it is. I don't know why I have to be stuck with them, but Dad and Ami usually slide ten bucks my way at the end of the night, so I don't mind."

There were rushed footsteps behind Logan and he turned around, but no one was there. Strange. Those steps were too heavy to be Vanellope, and Patton and Virgil hadn't seemed to come up the stairs from the basement. Had Dee come back down for something and heard him? "Dee? That you?" Logan called.

"Is Dee there?" Jack asked.

"I thought maybe...but if he is he's not saying anything to me," Logan mused. "Whatever. If he hears me talking to you it's fine. Not like we're doing anything super scandalous."

"I mean, you did just say you were stuck with your brothers and they historically do not take being lumped together well," Jack said.

Logan sighed. "I mean, true. But if Dee had a problem with me he'd say it. And Patton and Virgil are certainly not quiet about voicing their displeasure when I eff up," he said.

Jack sucked on his teeth. "Look, man, I just don't have a good feeling."

"You and me both," Logan said, glancing over his shoulder and not seeing anyone. "But part of it is probably just feeling weird being back home."

"Or else one of the boys or Patton is up to trouble."

Logan's stomach flipped and he laughed nervously. "Jack, stop, you're going to give me anxiety."

"Okay, okay," Jack relented. "Tomorrow we'll reschedule the date?"

"Sounds good," Logan agreed. They talked for about half an hour more, until Logan said, "I should check on Dee. I love you."

"I love you too."

They hung up and Logan fidgeted with his phone before heading halfway up the stairs. "Hey, Dee? You okay?" he called.

He heard a faint, "Fine!" from the bathroom.

"You sure?" Logan asked, climbing a few more steps. "Look, my joke about being stuck with you was out of line, and I'm sorry."

"Thanks," Dee called back. "But I just want some time to myself right now."

"Yeah, talking while you're in the bathroom can be weird," Logan laughed. "I'll get you when it's time for dinner."

He didn't get a response. He's a little more miffed than he's letting on, Logan thought, shaking his head and heading back down the stairs. He went and checked the time. Six. He could start making dinner.

Logan rummaged through the pantry and the fridge and decided that he may as well try his hand at some homemade soup. He heard Patton and Virgil charge up the stairs, chattering, and heading to their room. Logan started chopping ingredients. He was on the search in the back of the fridge for some celery when Virgil said, "Hey, Logan?" right behind him.

Jumping, and promptly banging his head on the fridge, Logan swore. "Ow. Can I help you, Virgil?"

Virgil grinned. "I heard that f-bomb," he chuckled.

"Yeah, and Dad and Ami didn't. Your point?" Logan asked.

"Where are Dad and Ami?" Virgil asked, sobering. "I heard Dee crying in the bathroom, and I wanted them to know he's upset."

Logan frowned. "Dad and Ami are out. I was left in charge. I'll check on him. He said he wasn't feeling well, he might've puked."

Virgil let Logan pass him, before starting to follow. "Should I do anything?" he asked.

"Nah, I'll take care of it," Logan said, jogging up the steps. True to Virgil's word, Logan heard Dee sniffling in the bathroom. "Hey, Dee, you all right?"

"Fine," Dee said back.

"You sure?" Logan asked. "I can hear you crying." He got silence in response to that for a moment, before Dee gasped and gagged. "Dee?"

"I just threw up a bit. I'm trying to keep down the Pepto-Bismol," Dee said. But his voice was toneless, even to Logan's tone-deaf ears. He was lying.

"Dee? I'm really sorry about the crack I made earlier," Logan said. "It wasn't okay."

"It's fine," Dee said.

"No, it's not--"

"--Drop it, Logan!" Dee exclaimed. "I don't want to talk about it."

Logan sighed, trying the door and finding it locked. "At least unlock the door?"

He didn't get a response. Logan's hackles were starting to raise. "Dee?"

"I heard you," Dee said. "I'm not gonna."

"Why not?" Logan asked. "I can help clean a little puke, Dee."

"I've got it," Dee said. "Leave me alone."

"Dee, it's not fair for you to clean up your own puke," Logan said, rattling the doorknob. "Come on, let me help you."

Again, a long silence. Every second that passed, Logan's stomach sank more and more. He ran through what he knew was in the bathroom. And...Pepto-Bismol wasn't on the list. Dad and Ami kept that in the kitchen. "Dee? What are you really doing in there?"

No reply.

Logan was starting to panic. "Dee?! Dee, open the door!" He pounded on it and he heard some kind of plastic clatter to the floor.

"Go away, Logan!" Dee shouted, but his voice cracked in the middle of it.

"No. Dee, tell me what you're doing in there!" Logan exclaimed. He pounded on the door more when he didn't get a response. "Dee! Open the damn door!"

Patton peered over the top of the stairs. "Logan?"

"Bit busy, Patton," Logan said, pounding on the door again.

"I know. I brought the skeleton key," Patton said in a whisper, passing it to Logan.

"Dee? I'm coming in. If you're not decent, pull up your pants now," Logan said, knowing he sounded hysterical but unable to care at that moment. He slid the skeleton key into the lock and started to open the door, only to have Dee body-slam it shut. "No! I want to be alone!" he screamed.

"Dee, you're worrying me. If you want to be alone, then be in your room, not the bathroom," Logan said.

Dee stayed up against the door. Logan felt adrenaline pulsing through his body. "Dee, step back from the door. You have until the count of three. One..."

The crying on the other side increased in intensity, and Logan knew whatever was going on, he wasn't supposed to see it. "Two."

"Leave me alone, Logan!" Dee said. "You don't want to be stuck with me anyway! Just go on your stupid date!"

"Is that what this is about?" Logan asked. "I said I'm sorry, Dee!"

Dee was mumbling on the other side of the door, before Logan could practically hear the heartbreak in Dee's voice as he cried, "You would be better off without me!"

Logan's blood turned to ice, mind instantly going through the worst-case scenarios. "Dee."

"No."

"Three!" Logan exclaimed, and he bodily slammed the door as Dee scrambled away from it. Logan took a wild look around the bathroom. Spilled pill bottles with the medicine cabinet slightly ajar. A broken razor. And Dee scrambling into the bathtub, his hands holding something Logan couldn't see. Shit. SHIT. Logan was on top of Dee in an instant. "Dee, let go!" he exclaimed, ripping the thing out of Dee's hands. A pill bottle. The cap missing. Logan looked inside, and he paled. Half the pills were gone. And he should know, because he had just opened the bottle yesterday when he accidentally rammed his hand into Jack's car door and had needed to dull the pain. "Dee. Tell me you didn't swallow these."

Dee swallowed audibly, and Logan's eyes snapped up. "How many pills were in your mouth just now?!"

He didn't get a verbal or signed reply. Logan went over to the pill bottles on the counter and looked at them. There were the pain pills Logan had from when he had that UTI. The last three of them were gone. There was some aspirin, half-spilled on the counter, but Logan knew that would come back light as well. And he checked the bottle in his hand. Advil. "Dee. How many pills did you take?"

Dee was just crying silently in the bathtub.

"Dee, this isn't a game. You could get seriously ill, or die. How. Many. Pills. Did. You. Take?!" Logan demanded.

Dee's hands were trembling violently as he signed, "I lost count after twenty five."

"Fuck," Logan breathed.

He pulled out his phone, and Dee leapt to his feet, slapping it out of Logan's hands. "No!" Dee exclaimed. "You're not calling or texting anyone about this!"

"Dee, you're gonna overdose. I have to call poison control! I have to let Dad and Ami know!" Logan argued, grabbing his phone again.

Dee snarled and wrestled for the phone, but Logan wasn't having any of it. He frantically pressed the emergency call button only to have Dee rip the phone out of his hands and turn it off, dashing out of the room. Logan didn't think. He body-slammed Dee to the ground. "Patton, Virgil, get in the van, we're taking a field trip!" he bellowed.

Patton and Virgil were at the door by the time Logan had slung Dee over his shoulder and walked down the stairs. "What's going on?" Patton asked, voice trembling uncontrollably.

"We're going to the hospital," Logan said, grabbing the van keys and walking Dee out the door, at which point Dee started to scream bloody murder.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO!" he cried. "You're better off without me! Let me GO!"

"Why are we going to the hospital?!" Virgil asked, as Logan wrestled Dee into the backseat, and strapped him in.

"Make sure he doesn't get out," Logan instructed Patton and Virgil.

"Why. Are we going. To the hospital?!" Virgil asked hysterically.

"Because Dee is trying to commit suicide!" Logan exclaimed.

Chapter Text

November 1st, 2020

Logan didn't like the hospital. It was too clean, too untouched, too sterile to feel like anything but a Purgatory for the ill. Ami kept a steadying hand on his shoulder as they walked to the elevator to see Jack. "Breathe, Logan. He's all right."

After a deep breath, Logan nodded. He knew that was true. He knew that. It was just hard to trust right now when it felt like everyone here was dead or dying, and Logan really was having issues keeping it together. "I know," Logan said. "It's just...knowing and feeling..."

"...They can be different, yeah," Ami agreed. "But don't worry. I'm sure when you see Jack in bed he'll do ten times more reassurance than I ever could."

November 21st, 2021

"Holy shit," Virgil breathed, as Logan paced the length of the emergency room waiting lobby. Two doctors had taken Dee back, but because none of them were his parents, they weren't allowed in the back room just yet. Logan kept pacing as Ami's phone rang, and rang, and rang. "Holy shit," Virgil repeated. He hadn't been able to say anything else since Logan said what was going on.

"He'll be okay, right?" Patton asked the two of them. "Like, he'll be fine, right? Right?"

Logan nor Virgil could answer that. Finally, finally, Ami answered the phone. "Logan. The house didn't burn down, did it? I just saw you tried to call me three times, and Dad five."

"The house didn't burn down," Logan said, mildly hysterical. "But Dee did try to kill himself."

There was shocked silence on the other end of the line. One heartbeat. Two. Five. And then Ami exclaimed, "What the FUCK?! Emile, grab the keys, now! We have to get to the hospital!"

Logan could feel himself starting to hyperventilate as commotion started up on the other end of the line. "Logan, if this is some kind of sick prank, now would be the time to say so," Ami said.

"It's not a joke," Logan said weakly. "I...I made a joke to Dad about being stuck baby-sitting, and I think Dee took it personally, and I had no idea it would affect him so much, honestly, I didn't, I'm so so sorry!"

"Logan, take a deep breath," Ami said over the phone. "We'll be right over. Thankfully Sleep Easy isn't that far from the hospital. Deep breaths until we get there. I assume you have taken Dee to the hospital?"

"Mhm," Logan tearfully confirmed. "God, I opened the door and there were so many pills missing, the doctors took him back already, but we're not allowed back there because we're not his legal guardians, and oh my god, he's not going to die, right?"

"Logan! Breathe! Periods are important!" Ami said. "We're gonna be there in ten or less. Breathe."

"Okay," Logan said, forcing himself to breathe. "Hurry."

He didn't get a reply, and Logan hung up, continuing to pace the ER lobby.

Nine minutes later, Dad and Ami burst through the door, Ami rushing over to Logan, Virgil, and Patton, as Emile frantically explained why he was there to the alarmed receptionist. "Logan!" Ami said. "Sit down. You look like you're about to pass out!"

"He's gonna...he's gonna..." Logan said faintly.

"He's not," Ami said. "If he does, I will personally kick his ass."

"Language," Virgil weakly joked.

Logan sat down heavily and Ami bent over, keeping his arms on Logan's shoulders. "It's not your fault," Ami said firmly.

"It...it was my joke that..."

"No," Ami said, shaking his head. "Logan, don't blame yourself. Dee's been struggling with depression for a couple months now. Emile and I have been trying to get him an appointment with a psychiatrist for weeks. Your joke may have been the catalyst, but Dee was primed to explode anyway. We thought you coming home might help, but we weren't banking on you keeping his spirits up indefinitely."

Logan nodded faintly, still vaguely hyperventilating. "Who's gonna tell Roman?"

"I'll call him," Ami reassured. "You just breathe, okay?"

Logan nodded, and Dad came over to them. "I've got Dee's room, come on, let's go check on him."

Everyone rushed behind Dad to the pediatric emergency room. Dee was restrained on a bed, a basin on a table in front of him. Dee looked up at their entrance, before promptly vomiting into the basin. "I see they gave you charcoal," Dad said in a conversational tone. "You have anything to say, Dee?"

"Let me go," Dee said, voice croaky and hoarse.

"Can't do that, Dee," Dad said calmly. "If they restrained you to your bed, that means you've already tried to bolt."

Dee puked again and groaned. "I wanna go home."

"Actually, Dee..." Dad sighed. "They're going to put you in the pediatric mental health wing. And Ami and I are going to specifically request that."

"What?" Dee asked. "Why?"

"Because you've been suffering for months and you just tried to commit suicide over a poorly-thought-out joke Logan made," Dad said. "You. Need. Help."

"It wasn't over the joke," Dee said, glaring at Logan. "It's over the fact that's how he really feels. I heard him talking to Jack."

Logan paled, but Dad took a step in between the two brothers. "Dee, the fact that you're confusing a mild inconvenience with a desire to cut off all contact is a little concerning," Dad said. "No matter what Logan said, I know he doesn't want you dead or gone."

Dee vomited again and didn't respond. Logan took a step towards the bed. "Dee..."

"Get out," Dee hissed. "I know you don't want to be here anyway."

"I don't want to be here because I don't want you overdosing, not because I don't care!" Logan snapped.

Ami turned to him. "Logan, let's take a walk."

"But--"

"--Now, please," Ami said, placing a hand on Logan's chest and pushing him out of the room. "I've lost my temper in front of you boys before, best for you not to do the same."

"He's not listening to me!" Logan snapped when they were outside the room and the door had been closed.

"Yeah, well, he did just try to kill himself and you stopped him. He's not going to be happy with you for a while," Ami said. "Dad has done the same thing multiple times, with multiple different people. But sooner or later they all thanked him for what he did."

Logan looked up at the ceiling and blinked back tears. "It's my fault."

"It's not your fault, Logan. You handled the situation perfectly," Ami said, hugging Logan tight. "You did the exact right thing. You handled the situation maturely, and the fact that Dee can't see that at the moment is a shortcoming on his perspective, not yours."

Logan's stomach flipped. "I thought he was going to die."

"I know," Ami soothed. "But he won't. Because of you."

Logan blinked and a few tears slipped through the cracks in his mask. "You need to call Roman, and I need to let Jack know our date might have to be postponed longer."

Ami hummed. "While I do need to call Roman, I think you should keep the date with Jack. Dee will be in the hospital for at least another two days. If he wants to see you I can let you know, but you need something to help you calm down from the situation. A date might do the trick."

"You think so?" Logan asked. "I mean, I'm probably going to spend all the time Dee's away fretting over him..."

"Which is why you need a distraction," Ami said, pulling out his phone. "Now, I'm gonna call Roman, and we're going to walk around the ward together until the doctor and the crisis evaluator show up. Sound good?"

Logan sighed and nodded. Ami gave his shoulder a squeeze as the phone rang. "Keep your head up, Logan. You're better at this whole adulting thing than you give yourself credit for."

Wringing his hands, Logan followed Ami through the ward as he talked to Roman. "Hey, Roman, don't be alarmed if you get home and no one else is there, all right? We had an incident with Dee's depression, and all of us are making sure he's okay at the hospital."

Logan felt guilt gnaw at him. He hadn't even known that Dee was depressed. Some older brother he was. Everyone knew about this but him.

"Uh-huh, uh-huh...yeah, he's alive, he was given charcoal and is currently puking his guts out. He's also tied to the bed because he tried to escape," Ami paused for a moment, before laughing. "I know, it's exactly like him. Hopefully we can get him to talk to the doctors, rather than sign, because Lord knows the translators here are going to struggle if Dee has an attitude when he gets whisked to the pediatric wing...Of course he's staying there. Even if we had a say in the matter, which considering the dose Dee took, we don't, this is the fastest way for Dee to start treatment." Ami listened to the chatter on the other end of the line. "Logan found him. He's taking it about as well as you can expect."

Logan's ears burned. Ami just shrugged at him. "Yeah...no need to rush over here, okay? Dee is okay. He probably won't be moved until morning, and even then, we don't know when a bed will open." Ami listened to the other end of the line. "Yeah. If you want, that sounds like a solid plan. We don't know how many visitors Dee will be allowed in the ward anyway. He might not even have to worry about trying to ignore Logan." Logan squawked. "Logan, when I said he won't be amused at you, I meant it," Ami said, turning to Logan. "Give him time and he'll forgive you, but time is going to be more than three days."

The other end of the phone started its tinny routine, and Ami nodded. "Yeah, I can put you on speaker, if you want. Logan, do you want to talk to Roman?"

Logan shrugged. "May as well," he said, and Ami pressed the button for speakerphone.

"Hey, Logan. Don't beat yourself up over this, all right? I can guarantee this isn't your fault. I've seen Dee depressed first-hand. He was waiting for the excuse. The fact that you gave him it sucks, yeah, but he'll be fine. Okay?" Roman said.

Logan took a deep breath. "God. Yeah, okay."

"I'm gonna head home soon, I'll make dinner, okay? I've gotten better at cooking. And you and I can talk when it's done. Alone, or not. But I'll make sure you don't blame yourself for this, all right?"

Logan sighed, resigned to his fate. "Yeah, sounds good. Am I that predictable?"

Roman's smile was evident in his voice. "Only 'cause I've known you for years. Talk soon. Ami, you can take me off speaker."

"Yeah," Logan agreed, under his breath. "Talk soon..."

Ami took Roman off speaker and spoke with him a little while longer, before Ami put his hand on Logan's shoulder. "Are you calm enough to go back into the room? Know that you're probably going to either get the silent treatment, or Dee is going to continue to lash out."

Logan took a breath and shook his head. "I can't do that today," he breathed. "Not after everything else."

"Okay. I'll stay outside with you until it's reasonable for Dad to ask all of us to head home. He knows what the doctors will say better than anyone else."

Logan nodded. "Makes sense. And they probably don't want all of us staying overnight."

"Yeah, they don't have that many beds for everyone," Ami said with a sly smile. "Keep breathing, okay, Logan?"

Logan nodded again. He could feel his face starting to go a little numb, so he knew that he needed to calm down. That just seemed like a Herculean task right now, and Logan wasn't sure if he could do it.

Ami rubbed Logan's back and Logan continued to take deep breaths. He didn't want to have to rush to the bathroom to vomit over this. Ami said he had handled this perfectly, and Logan was pretty sure that if he puked, that compliment would be flushed down the toilet along with his stomach contents.

All of this was mildly terrifying, though. Ami said he had handled everything maturely, but Logan knew that nearly breaking the bathroom door down wasn't exactly mature. He hoped that Dee would be okay, and he hoped that he could keep up the illusion of being put-together just a little while longer.

When the crisis evaluator showed up, Pat and Virgil left Dee's room, and only Dad was left in there. "Okay," Ami breathed. "I think we should probably go home. This has been enough excitement for one day, and Dad will keep me updated, all right?"

Everyone reluctantly agreed. Logan prayed he wouldn't break down crying in the van.

Chapter Text

October 3rd, 2008

Logan and Jack were playing at recess, and Jack slid down the slide with a laugh. "Your turn!" he exclaimed.

Logan hesitated. This was the big slide, the one that was very hard to stop on if you swung onto it too fast. "I dunno," he admitted.

"You'll be fine. You trust me, don'tcha?" Jack asked.

Logan nodded.

"Then trust me on this. You'll be fine, Jess."

Logan swung down the slide and skidded in the mulch, before Jack caught him. "I've got you!" Jack exclaimed. "You went down super fast!"

"Yeah, I did," Logan said, grinning a bit. "And maybe one day I'll be able to catch myself when I land, too."

"One can only hope, right?" Jack asked. "Show me how you go that fast?"

"Sure! Race you to the top!" Logan exclaimed, and the two of them were racing to the top like a light.

November 25th, 2021

Logan looked up from where he was scrolling on his phone next to Jack the second he heard the front door open. He walked to the foyer, finding Dad standing there with Dee. Dee looked a little dazed, and Dad rubbed his shoulder. "I'm gonna put your antidepressants upstairs, okay?" he said softly.

Dee faintly nodded, looking around. Logan cleared his throat softly. "It's good to have you back, Dee," he said.

"Is it?" Dee asked softly.

"Of course it is," Logan said with a nod.

Jack walked up behind Logan. "Hey, Dee, what's up, man?"

Dee shrugged. "I'm still alive. Is that answer enough?"

"I'll take it," Jack laughed.

Dee put on that fake-polite smile, and Logan sighed. "Roman and I talked the night you were hospitalized, Dee."

"Of course you did," Dee said flatly. "Did he say everything I told him in confidence?"

"On the contrary, he told me I was an idiot if I thought he would tell me anything I didn't already know," Logan said. "And then he proceeded to explain how different autistic people react differently to change."

Dee just cocked his head to the side. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I know that we often went to each other when everything became too much. I know that you relied on me being able to understand you. I understand that me moving to college was hard to you. What I didn't realize at first, was that your response to not having me in easy access would be to mask more often, leading to burnout and depression," Logan said.

"I don't..." Dee trailed off. His fingers twitched. "Oh. I guess I have been masking more."

"Yeah. At home, too?" Logan asked.

Dee nodded slowly, looking at Logan uncertainly. "But I don't do that when you're around. You're safe."

"Because I'm on the spectrum, too." Dee startled at that declaration, and Logan smiled. "No, I didn't get an official diagnosis on my record, but I have spoken with a psychiatrist since I went to college and she said that's what made sense for all of my...idiosyncrasies."

"It took me pressing him for two weeks to get him to actually admit that to himself, let alone anyone else," Jack said with an affectionate smile at Logan. "Now, Dee, I want to ask you something about how you see me, and I do want an honest answer, whether or not you'll think it might hurt me. Okay? However you answer, I won't be upset."

Dee frowned, but tilted his head down in agreement.

"Do you view me as stealing your brother away?" Jack asked.

Logan watched as Dee turned shocked, before he closed off his face, before struggling for a second and then he turned guilty. "I guess," he allowed.

"Well, then let me let you in on a secret," Jack said conspiratorially. "It's true that I don't drain Logan's social battery. But you know what? You don't drain him either."

Dee's eyes widened. He looked over to Logan for confirmation. Logan nodded. "He's completely right. Any drain I may get is ultimately overridden by the recharge I get from both of you."

For a second, Dee didn't respond, just processing. Then, his eyes grew glassy, and Dee walked over, hugging Logan tightly. "I thought you didn't love me anymore," Dee said.

"Many things in our lives will change, Dee, but that never will," Logan promised.

Jack looked between them. "You know, I wasn't sure if that would truly register as an 'I love you' to both of you," he said, bemused. "But that's pretty cool, albeit confusing."

Logan laughed and Dee pulled away from Logan with a grin. "Autistic people have their own code," Dee informed Jack helpfully.

"Clearly," Jack said drily. "So. Uh. What happened over the past week? For those of us who aren't in on this code?"

"Dee thought that since I had come back from college a different person, I wouldn't love him anymore. That was seemingly confirmed by my ill-timed 'joke.' Obviously, he didn't take that well. One hospital visit, some antidepressants and an explanation later, we know that we'll always love each other, even if at first it didn't seem like it," Logan informed Jack.

"Ah," Jack said. "I'm not sure how all of that led up to each other, but if everything's worked out, then we're cool."

"Indeed," Logan agreed. "And Dee's home in time for Thanksgiving dinner. Which is very special this year."

"What? Why's it special?" Dee asked.

There was a knock at the front door, and Logan grinned as he yelled, "Door's open, come in!"

The door swung open, and Uncle Toby was standing there, grinning. "Hey, hey! Is the prodigal nephew home? And do I get to hug him?"

"Uncle Toby!" Dee exclaimed, rushing over and giving him a hug. "You're here for Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah, Rem and I agreed that I would come over this year. Mom...Our Mom, not yours, has been insufferable about Thanksgiving, so I decided if she was gonna be that way, I wouldn't go to hers for dinner, I'd come here. Hope that's okay?" Uncle Toby asked, hugging Dee back gently.

"Okay?! That's perfect!" Dee exclaimed.

Ami walked upstairs from the basement and smiled. "Hey, Tobes! Glad you could make it!"

"Glad to be here," Toby said with a toothy grin. "Ow. Dee, that's my spleen!"

Dee laughed even as he let go of Uncle Toby. "Technically, I think that was your kidney."

Uncle Toby laughed. "Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. I'm not a doctor." He looked at Ami. "Pronouns today?"

"They and them, thanks," Ami said.

Uncle Toby gave a thumbs-up. "Ah, and Logan, my eldest nephew," he joked. "Older than Rem was when he met your father. God, that's a terrifying thought. Time keeps moving, doesn't it?"

"Apparently so," Logan said. "I don't feel much like an adult."

"Ah, it'll come to you eventually, but not in the way you'll expect. You'll just look up from taxes, realize that you somehow have the mental energy to care for this and work and everything else and somehow, that's being an adult," Uncle Toby shrugged.

Logan laughed and silently hoped that Uncle Toby was joking, just a bit.

Ami walked past Logan and hugged Uncle Toby. "Hope Mom didn't harp on you too much for missing Thanksgiving."

"I used 'she' pronouns when referring to you, so she thinks I'm spending it with a girlfriend's family. I didn't have the heart-or the stomach-to correct her," Uncle Toby laughed.

Ami burst into a fit of giggles. "God, Tobes, you're terrible. I'm corrupting you."

"Slowly but surely," Toby agreed. "And I'm assuming that the young man standing next to my eldest nephew is his boyfriend-slash-fiancé? Still confused on that front."

"We've agreed we'll be engaged if we're still together by a couple years from now," Jack explained. "So we're engaged to the engagement, as it were. Jack Harkness. Nice to meet you, sir."

"I'm not old enough to be a 'sir,'" Uncle Toby scoffed. "...Right?"

"You're old enough to be an Uncle to a nephew who's kinda-sorta-engaged," Logan helpfully pointed out.

"Not helpful Logan," Uncle Toby said, pointing at him but not meeting Logan's gaze.

Logan snickered and Jack joined in. "Should we tell him that he's technically old enough to be a great-uncle?" Jack teased.

Ami's head snapped around so fast both Jack and Logan jumped. "Logan, I swear, if you are expecting..."

"Testosterone stopped my period years ago!" Logan rushed to assure. "Holy hell, Jack was being metaphorical!"

"I'm gonna go gray if you two keep this up," Ami warned.

"Eh, you're so blonde most people wouldn't notice," Uncle Toby said, ruffling Ami's hair.

Ami squawked indignantly and Logan and Jack retreated back to the den while Ami and Uncle Toby continued their quarrel. Dee followed Jack and Logan. "Thanks for clearing everything up," Dee said softly. "I was really scared that even if you had loved me, this would have made you change your mind."

"Never, Dee," Logan reassured.

Dee smiled and sat down next to Logan. "You're the perfect brother, Logan," he declared.

"I don't know about perfect," Logan said.

"Well, the others are all perfect, too. It's not just you," Dee said. "But you're kinda the best. And I don't want to lose you."

Logan smiled even as he mentally tucked that information away. Those were some big shoes to fill, but Logan would be damned if he didn't do his best to meet those expectations. Especially after he had already let Dee down.

Eventually, Dad came into the den, and said, "I think Ami has finally stopped arguing with Uncle Toby, you guys. Have you played catch-up yet?"

"No, though Jack did give Ami a mini heart-attack with a pregnancy joke," Jack said.

Dad took a deep breath. "I chose this life. I chose this life. I am happy with my choices..." he muttered under his breath.

Jack snickered. "You chose your boys. I wasn't part of the original deal. You can be happy with your choices and displeased with my sense of humor."

"True. Make a crack like that around my parents when they show up and expect much more than a heart attack," Dad warned.

Jack shrugged. "Nothing I can't handle."

Logan scoffed. "Have you met Grandma and Granddad?"

"Not personally, I don't think," Jack said.

Logan nodded. "Then don't make any promises you can't keep."

"That bad?" Jack asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Grandma would give you an earful while Granddad would fret over the thought of being a great-granddad and try to arrange a baby shower," Dee said. "And they'd be both relieved and upset that it was a joke."

Jack considered. "Yeah, I don't want to have to explain that even if we were up to anything, we wouldn't get a baby out of that."

"Wise choice," Logan said, standing. "I'm gonna go chat with Uncle Toby. You're welcome to come with, or you're welcome to stay here. Either way."

Jack stood, fist-bumping Dee before he followed Logan out of the room and to the kitchen, where Uncle Toby and Ami were bantering. Uncle Toby looked over as the two entered. "Ah. Do I need to give you two 'The Talk,' seeing as you're making jokes about having kids?"

Logan turned red and Jack wasn't much better as he sheepishly shook his head. "No...my mom took care of that for both of us," Jack assured.

"She did a good job of it, too," Ami said as they continued to work with the food in front of them. "I barely had to tell Logan anything. Roman, on the other hand..."

Uncle Toby laughed. "Hey, Logan could'a done it for you, if you were so uncomfortable with it."

"Just because you gave me the talk when I was about Roman's age, does not mean that I'm making Logan do the same," Ami said sternly.

"Fair enough," Toby said, raising his hands in surrender. "Is it just me, or are Mom and Dad more of a sore spot lately?"

Ami didn't say anything for a minute, before they sighed. "I know they're growing old. And the fact that they won't accept my kids or me is upsetting. That's all."

"Yeah," Uncle Toby sighed. "Good thing you're not like that with the kids, right? You know way better than that."

Logan joined in. "Yeah, Ami, I've never felt like you pushing me to be anything I'm not. You've accepted me no matter who I am or what I want to do. I appreciate that. And not just because it keeps you in Jack's good graces."

"You know if they didn't do that, I would have their head on a silver platter in an instant," Jack teased lightly.

Logan nudged Jack. "Which is why it's one of the reasons I'm glad they're like that. It's just not the main reason."

Jack leaned on Logan and Logan scoffed. "You're happiness comes first, of course," Jack agreed. "But how high up is my shovel-talking? I hope that you take it seriously."

Logan rolled his eyes. "You're ridiculous."

"Also yours."

"That too."

Chapter Text

December 14th, 2021

Logan didn't see Cameron at the Queer Club again, and he frowned. He didn't want to ask around and get people worried, but this was the third time she had missed the club in the last four weeks. He knew interests shifted and changed, but he still didn't have a great feeling.

Cameron rushed in a little late, breathless and smiling. "Sorry I'm late, everyone!" she said, sliding into the chair next to Jack's. "Got busy with some friends."

"Boy friends?" Jack asked in a low voice. "You may want to reapply your lipstick."

Cameron turned a little red and thanked him, pulling out a compact to fix her makeup. Logan shook his head. He had no reason to worry. And besides, Cameron seemed to be enjoying herself, regardless.

December 16th, 2021

The last leg of the campaign had begun. Logan, Sophia, Lily-Anne, and Jeff were all working against the "Big Bad" of the game, the King who had been sending them out on missions in the first place. Turns out that a lot of the missions he had sent them on had been supposed to kill them, to try and squash any thoughts the people had about uprising and trying to raise their ranks in society.

Logan nocked an arrow and let it fly his turn, but he had a terrible roll, and all of them groaned when he missed. They kept at it, though, game going half an hour longer than normal as they tried to win the battle the last game before Winter Break.

When Jeff finally landed the finishing blow, all of them sighed, relaxing back into their seats heavily. "God, that was a nail-biter!" Lily-Anne exclaimed.

"Tell me about it," Logan breathed. "But we won! We defeated the King, and now we can rule the country justly."

"Heck yeah!" Sophia exclaimed. "Best way to end the campaign."

"Amen to that!" Jeff agreed.

Mason grinned at all of them. "So. You all getting ready to go home, or are you able to stay a while longer to chat?"

"I guess we can stay," Logan said, brows furrowing. "Why do you ask?"

Mason rubbed his hands together and stage-whispered, "I have a girlfriend who may or may not be swinging by in a couple minutes."

The entire table was quiet for half a beat. Then, everyone exclaimed, "What?!" at roughly the same time, and began peppering Mason with questions.

"All will be revealed in due time!" Mason exclaimed, holding his hands up in surrender. "You guys will love her, I'm sure of it."

The door to the game room they were using opened, and a familiar face walked in. "Hey, hey!" Cameron exclaimed. "How'd the campaign go!"

"Cameron?" Logan asked, surprised.

"You know her, Lo?" Mason asked.

"Yeah, we..."

"...Share a class on Wednesdays," Cameron said, giving Logan a desperate look behind a tight-lipped smile. "Right?"

"Yeah," Logan agreed. Clearly, she didn't want everyone knowing she was trans. That was more than fine.

"Oh. Well, that makes introductions easier. Lily-Anne, Sophia, Jeff, this is Cameron. She's my girlfriend," Mason said, a delighted grin on his face.

Everyone introduced themselves and Cameron pulled up a chair, sitting between Logan and Mason. "Did you all enjoy the story? I know Mason was worried about the plot twist," Cameron said.

"It was great," Logan said with a grin. "I enjoyed the whole campaign, not just tonight."

"Good to hear!" Cameron said with a smile. "I didn't realize you were part of Mason's DnD group, Logan. I knew you two knew each other, but not because of that."

Logan shrugged. "What can I say? I guess neither of us asked the right questions."

"Guess not," Cameron mused.

They chatted for a bit, before Jeff made his excuses and left, and Lily-Anne went to the dorms soon after. Mason checked the time and did a double-take. "Oh shoot, sweetheart, I've gotta dash if I want to get that pizza for movie night tonight. Meet you back at my dorm?"

"Sounds good," Cameron said with a smile, letting Mason kiss her on the cheek before he left. Sophia quietly made her excuses and left, so it was just Cameron and Logan left at the table. "Thanks for going along with the class thing, Logan," she breathed.

"Hey, of course. You go stealth too, it's fine," Logan said with a shrug. "Does Mason at least know?"

Cameron made a pained face.

Logan blinked. "You haven't told him?!"

"It's only been three weeks, Logan, and I'm a bit of a pussy," Cameron said, fiddling with the straps on her bag. "I was gonna tell him the start of the next semester, after Christmas, just so in case he doesn't take it well he doesn't leave me with a broken heart around my family. But I think he'll be okay. So far, he's behaved."

"I don't like the sound of 'so far,'" Logan said, nibbling his lip.

"Just...let me tell him in my own time?" Cameron practically begged.

"Of course. It's your decision. Just...be careful," Logan said in a low voice.

"Don't worry about me, Logan," Cameron said with a smile as she stood. Logan did the same, packing up his character sheet and dice, leaving the table bare. "Worry about yourself. And don't do anything stupid on my behalf if things go south, all right? Last thing I would want is for you to lose DnD because of me."

"Hey, if Mason decides to be a dick then that's not someone I want to be around anyway," Logan said with a simple shrug. "But don't worry, I'll stand behind you one-hundred percent, even if I won't shout from the rooftops that I'm trans."

"You're the best, Logan," Cameron laughed. "I should head to Mason's dorm, and you look exhausted. Go back to your own boyfriend, okay?"

"Okay. Good seeing you, Cameron," Logan said, waving at her as they went separate ways out of the room.

Logan was nervous. He hadn't told Cameron this, but every time he tried to get in a debate with Mason about trans issues, Mason always played Devil's advocate with a little too much force to be playing it for the sake of playing it. And his empathy wasn't the best. He hoped that Mason would be willing to change thanks to Cameron, but he didn't have that guarantee. And not knowing made him worry about Cameron and how well she'd take a rejection.

He was still brooding when he got back to the dorms. Jack took one look at him and hissed. "Oh, god, you have your thinking face on, Logan. What's eating at you?"

"Cameron is dating Mason," Logan said, putting away his character sheets and squirming out of his binder.

"Mason who argues against you on trans stuff? Mason who makes transgender stereotypes in his NPCs sometimes? That Mason?" Jack asked incredulously.

"The one and the same," Logan said with a thin smile. "In case you couldn't tell, I'm a little worried on her behalf."

"Yeah, I understand why," Jack said, sitting down on the bed heavily. "Has she told him?"

"Not yet," Logan said. "So I'm more than a little worried in that regard."

Jack shook his head. "Oh. That's not gonna go well."

"My thoughts exactly. I want Mason to be able to pull through and be good for her sake...but I just don't see it happening," Logan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Jack nodded solemnly. "Who are you going to back, if things go south?"

"Cameron, one-hundred percent," Logan said without even taking a second to think about it. "Mason acts like a dick to her, he's dead to me and I'll find a new group of people to play DnD with. But I'm not the best at going stealth when there are trans issues being discussed. Everyone agrees I'm too knowledgeable on the subject to just be a casual ally."

Jack nodded. "Do you think Mason would tell anyone that your trans? Is he that kind of person?"

"God, I hope not," Logan said. "But even if he did know and started misgendering me, no one else would know what he was on about. They'd dismiss him. It's not me I'm worried about. It's Cameron."

Jack nodded. "Yeah. She's been working on feminizing her voice but it doesn't always show properly. One wrong move..."

"She's toast and the whole school knows," Logan agreed with a wince. "Jesus. I don't think I've ever been this scared about someone coming out. Granted, I assumed my parents would be tolerant if not accepting, so I wasn't worried then. But now...knowing how badly this could go?"

Jack nodded. "When's she telling him? Do you know?"

"After winter break," Logan said, wincing. "What should we do?"

"Well, obviously we're gonna be there for her if things go south. No question about that. But we need to figure out what the best way to be there for her would be."

Logan nodded. "How do we do that?"

"Well, short asking her, we can always let her know she's welcome in our dorm to hang out. We can buy some snacks and candy and stuff after break, especially chocolate, and prepare a movie marathon if things go bad. I think a lot of this will just be...being there for her. Which is hard to do when you don't know someone extremely personally, but she'll have us if she needs us. We just make it clear that she can ask if needed."

Logan sighed and nodded again. "I hate that we have to wait to see what's going to happen," he said.

Jack shrugged. "Sometimes, that's all you can do, man. Gotta live with it."

"I know," Logan said. "Doesn't mean I like it any."

Jack gave Logan a hug and Logan hugged back. "You ready to head home tomorrow after classes?" Jack asked.

Logan sighed and nodded. "I'm not ready for all the noise and commotion at home, but I am looking forward to a break."

Jack smiled. "Just remember, if your home gets to be too much, all you have to do is call me, and I'll take you to mine."

Logan hummed his agreement. "I'm going to abuse that power sooner or later."

"Hopefully we can get our own place before it comes to that," Jack laughed. "I mean, sure, staying with our parents is okay now, but sooner or later we're going to need our own space, and I think that it's important we find a place before our parents push for it, so we can leave on good times."

"I'm not sure my parents would ever push for me to move out," Logan said, considering. "But I see your point. And I agree."

Jack laughed. "I mean, our parents definitely will want some alone time sooner or later, yeah?"

Logan gagged. "Jack, I do not need the image of my parents sleeping together. Nor do I need the image of yours doing the same."

"I was thinking about them just kissing and making dinner in a quiet house, not sleeping together! Jesus, Lo, get your mind out of the gutter!" Jack said, giving Logan a playful shove.

"You are. The worst," Logan laughed, shoving Jack back.

There was a thud from the other side of their dorm wall, and the two of them turned to look at it. "Think one of them got lucky? Or are they tossing things again, do you think?" Jack asked.

"Derrick? Getting lucky?" Logan asked lowly, arching an eyebrow.

Jack snorted. "Hey, guys, we can hear you!" Jack hollered at the wall.

They got a muffled, "Sorry!" in return from Derrick. Jack and Logan rolled their eyes at that. "He's gonna do it again," Logan said.

"Oh, for sure," Jack agreed.

The two of them got ready for bed, and Logan sighed, staring up at the ceiling. The distractions only worked for so long, before his anxieties and worries slipped back in. He sincerely hoped that Cameron would be okay.

"I can hear you thinking, Lo," Jack said from his own bed.

"Worried about Cameron, still," Logan said.

"Nothing we can do about it, man. Just try and get some sleep, and enjoy the winter break tomorrow. Sound good?" Jack asked.

"I suppose," Logan sighed. "I'm still going to worry, but I'll try not to do it audibly."

"You can express your worry," Jack was quick to step in. "Just try not to let your worry consume your every waking moment."

"Got it," Logan said, taking off his glasses.

Jack went for the lights. "Night, Lo."

"Night, Jack," Logan replied.

The lights turned off and Logan listened to Jack shuffle around back to bed. He tried to focus on his breathing. In, two, three, four...out, two, three, four. How long could he keep that up until he fell asleep? Time to find out.

Chapter Text

September 3rd, 2015

Logan loved moments like these with Jack. They were just sitting around, talking about anything and nothing all at once. There wasn't a direction the conversation needed to go, no pressing things grabbing for their attention, they were just...there. Observing. Letting the world happen around them as they talked.

Jack was currently trying to come up with a bad pun, and Logan had about three in mind that he wasn't going to tell Jack, because that would ruin the suspense of what Jack's first connection would be. It was fun to just exist for a moment, even if it was only a moment.

When Jack snapped his fingers and came up with a pun Logan hadn't even thought of, Logan grinned. He wanted to always have this.

December 26th, 2021

Logan was beaming, sitting next to Jack in the Harkness' living room. Their house was bustling, filled with local and not-so-local family, coming and going. Christmas itself had been spent with both of their respective families, but Logan had agreed to spend the day after with the Harknesses, since he had stolen Jack for Thanksgiving. Jack was animatedly explaining to his Aunt Sheila everything about college and the antics that he and his friends had gotten into in the intramural basketball games they played. Logan was laughing, as was was Jack's aunt. Neither of them quite believed Jack and what he was saying, that all of them were planning on prancing around in the cheerleaders' outfits to show exactly how ridiculous the coaches were being, trying to dictate how short the skirts should be. "Jack, if you do that, you do realize I will be demanding pictures," Logan warned.

"Naturally," Jack said with a beaming grin. "I would be surprised if you didn't demand pictures. And send to to all of your family. And mine. And maybe some of our friends from high school."

"You have no idea," Logan said, rolling his eyes but still grinning. "Honey, you'd never live it down."

"Hey, those skirts are getting shorter every three years or so, and no one wants any of the creeps saying the cheerleaders were 'asking for it' after practice."

Logan held his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay! I'm not saying you can't. I'm just saying you'll want to think about the consequences of your actions every once in a while."

Jack sighed, wrapped an arm around Logan. "Honey, you worry so much. Why don't you just let everyone worry for themselves, so you only have to figure out yourself?"

"Mostly?" Logan asked.

Jack nodded.

"Because I don't trust everyone else to make the right decision," Logan admitted.

"Okay, that's just anal retentive," Jack snickered.

"I have to agree with Jack, dear," his aunt said. "You need to let people make their own choices. Regardless of whether or not you agree with them."

"I know, I know," Logan sighed. "There's just so much that I wish I could control that I simply...can't."

"Welcome to adulthood," Jack's aunt said simply.

One of his uncles strolled up to them. "How is everything going?" he asked. "Sheila, Jan's asking after you."

"That's my cue," the aunt said, standing up to leave, with the uncle in tow.

No sooner did she do so than two of Jack's older cousins entered the room, laughing. "Man, you're insane," one of them said to the other.

"Hey, I'm not the one who missed the bathroom and instead entered the twerp's bedroom!" the other snarked back.

Jack bolted upright. "Oh no. Gene, what did you do?!"

"Nothing untoward," Gene said. "In fact, consider yourself lucky. I saw something poking out of one of your drawers and made sure it was properly hidden."

Jack turned red and Gene snickered. "Lola here called me over when she couldn't find the bathroom. I directed her to it and saved your ass in the process," Gene said conspiratorally. "A 'thank you' wouldn't be remiss."

"Thanks," Jack strangled out.

"You're welcome," Gene said with a bow.

Lola sat down where Jack's aunt had been sitting and asked, "So, how are you two holding up in college? Dealing with the freshman fifteen?"

"Not as much as you might expect," Logan said with a shrug. "Although I am very glad that I don't 'look gay' to everyone I walk past on campus."

Gene grunted. "Yeah, I was a little worried about the two of you going to college in a more Southern state. Is it really that bad?"

"Probably not as bad as you're anticipating," Jack said. "The two of us have gotten by just fine so far. And besides, Logan really likes the aerospace engineering program and wants to continue in that. The college will look good to NASA. But...yeah. Some of the students really haven't fallen far from the old 'bless your heart' tree."

Logan huffed. "Tell me about it. Those people who tried to harass anyone they saw coming to or from the Queer Club? They were absolute Neanderthals."

"That's an insult to Neanderthals everywhere," Jack replied.

"You're right. They were just plain bigots," Logan snarled.

Lola and Gene shook their heads. "Hey, at least you're brave enough to go to the Queer Club," Lola pointed out. "There are probably plenty of students who aren't."

"Yeah," Logan sighed.

Jack nodded. "I know a few baby queers have come to me asking what the Club is like. I always invite them to attend, but sometimes I think the other people scare them off. I've actually been planning a subtle solution to that..."

"Oh?" Logan asked. "That's news to me."

"Well, it was going to be a surprise for you," Jack laughed. "But I picked up a Dungeon Master's Guide as a Christmas present from my parents."

Logan had to let that sink in for a minute, before he slowly broke out into a grin. "You're going to make a DnD group?!"

"Specifically catering towards the baby queers I've seen who are too shy to go to the Queer Club but want some people like them to hang around," Jack said, pleased. "Intramural basketball is great and all, but the team wraps up its games well before March, and I figured, well. Thursdays can't be the only days people want to play DnD!"

Logan grinned and kissed Jack on the cheek. "I love you," he said. "I love you, I love you, I love you!"

Jack laughed. "I love you too, babe. And I think you're going to enjoy playing with me, even if I'm a total novice at DM'ing."

"I can give you tips from a player perspective," Logan promised. "Oh my god, that's going to be so much fun! You're the best, Jack!"

Lola and Gene watched the interaction fondly. "You two are both such nerds. Different niches of nerdery, but nerds nonetheless," Gene declared.

Jack stuck his tongue out at Gene. "I'm not a nerd," he scoffed. "If anything, I'm the one cool person the nerds flock to."

"Yeah, no," Logan scoffed. "You worked in tech in theatre in high school, Jack, you're a nerd."

"How dare you!" Jack exclaimed.

"Just want you to stay realistic, honey," Logan said simply.

Jack stuck his tongue out at Logan and Logan did it back.

"Get a room, you two," Lola said, pulling out her phone and flipping through it.

"They have a room," Gene gleefully pointed out. "As proven by Jack's special desk drawer."

"Special desk drawer?" Jack's mom asked from behind Gene. "He has a special desk drawer?"

All four of them froze and Jack was beet red.

"His...toy drawer," Lola clarified.

"Oh. Yes, his father and I are aware of that," Jack's mom said.

Jack groaned in embarrassment. "Mom!" he exclaimed.

"Well, your father did accidentally open one of your packages over the summer, honey. And we're all grown-ups. We all know what was in that package," she said, walking away.

Logan and Jack were both beet red still, and Logan buried his face in his hands. "You know, I would be perfectly fine believing that your mom didn't know we did anything."

"Tell me about it," Jack agreed. "Although...it could be worse."

Logan looked over at him.

"You could have ordered one of your...sets and someone could have opened those," Jack pointed out.

Logan was bright crimson. "If it was Roman, I might live it down. Anyone else? Never."

"See? It could be worse," Jack said. He sounded half-hysterical.

Logan just pat Jack's shoulder and murmured, "Let's not focus on that anymore."

"Gladly," Jack said, promptly shutting up.

Gene and Lola were clearly enjoying the conversation. "You two always like this when that sort of topic comes up?" Lola asked.

"Only when it comes to family members or authority figures," Logan sighed. "I'm not proud of it."

Lola shrugged. "I mean, it's good to be conscious of the sort of company you keep, but Aunt Jan's one of the most laid-back people I know when it comes to this sort of thing. I really don't think she would mind overhearing that sort of talk. We're all adults here."

"While that may be true, that doesn't mean we want her to overhear our conversations," Logan said.

Jack leaned into Logan and mumbled, "I don't think I'm gonna survive this ordeal."

"Stop being a drama queen, Jack," Logan said, rolling his eyes. "You cannot actually die of embarrassment."

"Kinda wish I could," Jack muttered, groaning. "Can we please move the subject to something else? Like, oh, I dunno, literally anything that isn't this."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Okay. Tell me about what you've read so far in the Dungeon Master's Guide?"

"The fine print is hilarious," Jack said. "Have you read the fine print?"

"I don't believe I've had the pleasure," Logan said.

"It basically says make things up as you go if you don't know the answer," Jack said. "I like it."

"You would, you enjoy improv," Logan said. "If I were ever a DM, I would obsess over every way that people could mess up my plans and try to have everything mapped out, and inevitably miss the obvious, resulting in someone driving an eighteen-wheeler through my plans."

"So why not go into it knowing you're gonna make stuff up as you go along?" Jack asked.

Logan shrugged. "Didn't seem like that sort of thing would be my strong suit. I much prefer being a player."

"You two are not the biggest nerds I know, but you're definitely up there," Gene said absentmindedly.

Jack looked at him with interest. "Now, that's new. You know people who are bigger nerds than Logan? Do tell."

"Yeah, I'd love to know what Jack lacks in nerdiness," Logan said, lightly ribbing Jack.

"Okay, you two know what LARPing is?" Gene asked.

"Yeah," Jack said. "It's the one that deals with like...costumes and stuff."

"I know people who LARP in their free time. And that's the only reason I know bigger nerds than you two," Gene said.

Logan hummed. "You know, I've always wanted to go to a Renaissance Fair..."

"...And now you're back at the top," Gene laughed. "Because you LARP at a Ren fair and you're easily the nerdiest person I know."

Logan shrugged. "One of these days, if I ever go, I will get a sword. And then you'll be sorry."

"Woah, Logan's got some teeth!" Lola exclaimed, laughing. "I really wish I had been at that Thanksgiving you were here, now."

"Oh, he was much quieter then," Jack reassured. "Not nearly as sarcastic or fun to spar with. He learned how to do that after he was adopted."

Logan shrugged. "Three brothers and one sibling. I had to learn fast."

"Never said you didn't," Jack said with a shrug. "And, for the record, I did like you before you were adopted. But you masking less? Made you sorta come to life, and that's when I knew that I loved you."

"So...you're saying that you should send Dad and Ami thank you cards, because they're the reason we're together?" Logan asked. "Because that would be hilarious. Like, more hilarious than Dad muttering that he was happy with the life he chose."

Jack just laughed. "I mean, I'm pretty sure that one of these days that's gonna slip and they'll either be filled with so much regret that it's painful or they'll just sorta sigh, resign themselves to the fact that I'm family now, and accept that I make their lives approximately ten percent more chaotic than it already was."

"Either way works, really," Logan said.

"Yeah. But it can't really be both this time," Jack sighed. "And as a bisexual, I'm declaring that homophobic."

Logan, Gene, and Lola all cracked up at that. "You always want things to have a both option," Logan said. "But not having a both option isn't inherently homophobic."

"No, but it's annoying as all hell," Jack grumbled.

Chapter Text

July 7th, 2009

Logan and Jack were swimming at the pool, grinning like mad. "This is fun!" Jack exclaimed.

Logan nodded his agreement. "Yeah, I like getting to play with you."

"I still wish you could've worn the swim trucks you wanted to get," Jack said, frowning.

"Me, too," Logan agreed. "But Mom said I'm gonna be a lady someday, and ladies don't wear swim trunks."

"That's dumb," Jack said. "Swim trunks should be for anyone who wants to wear them. And you're not a lady."

"I'm not?" Logan asked.

"Well...I mean you're a girl, yeah, but you're not a lady," Jack floundered. "Ladies are all...rich and mean and...that word you were trying to teach me. So-fist-i-cat-ed."

"Sophisticated," Logan said. "Short i, not pronounced like eye, and c-a-t doesn't sound like 'cat'."

"Okay. But you're not that. So you're not a lady."

Logan nodded, confused. He wasn't sure he understood Jack's point, but he appreciated the sentiment."

January 17th, 2022

Logan was more than a little bemused when he got a text from Mason on a Monday night out of nowhere, that wasn't DnD related. Logan, can you come to my dorm?

I can be there in a bit, Logan replied. Why?

His blood turned to ice when he saw the reply. I need to talk to you about Cameron.

Logan stiffened in his desk chair and Jack looked over at him. "Man, what's going on?"

"Mason and Cameron..." Logan's voice gave out. He didn't know how to continue that sentence.

Jack's eyes widened. "Go," he said softly.

"You sure? We had plans tonight..."

"Man, whatever happened, it's got one of them texting you. Go, and be safe."

Logan swallowed thickly and nodded, rushing out the door of his dorm and feet pounding into the floor as he made his way from his dorm to the other building the freshmen were crammed into, and took the stairs two at a time to Mason's second floor room. He knocked on the door, and Mason opened it, a dark look on his face. Logan knew. Cameron had come out.

When Logan walked into the dorm, he didn't see Cameron in it, and his stomach sank. Mason closed the door behind Logan, and Logan felt like a caged animal in less than half a second. "So Cameron and I talked today," Mason said, voice just a slight pitch too high to be casual.

"What happened?" Logan asked, turning to Mason.

Mason sucked in a breath. "Turns out that he's a dude."

Logan felt like he had been sucker-punched in the gut. He knew this was how this was going to go. But to hear Mason misgender someone with such casual disregard...it still hurt. "What?" he managed. "No, she's a girl, Mason."

"He's got a dick!" Mason exclaimed. "He's a dude!"

"I don't care what's between her legs, Mason, if she says she's a girl, then she's a girl!" Logan snapped back. "Show a little respect, please!"

Mason snorted. "Respect? Yeah, that's a good one," he scoffed. "He tried to trick me! And then when I wanted to sleep with him, he had to let the cat out of the bag!"

Every wrong pronoun made Logan's ire that much worse. "Shut the fuck up, Mason," Logan growled. "Now. Shut the fuck up."

Mason shook his head. "I don't understand. Yeah, you're cool with the whole transgender...deal but he tried to trick me! Why the fuck are you defending him?!" Mason asked Logan incredulously.

"I'm defending her because she's trying to be honest with you, Mason!" Logan shot back. "She loved you enough to be honest about her true self with you! So what if you have to give it to her in the ass?! You seemed smitten with her just yesterday!"

"But...but I'm not gay!" Mason exclaimed. "I'm straight!"

Logan growled. "Okay. You know what?! I'm going to show you exactly why you're being a moron."

"Wha--Logan!" Mason squawked as Logan shoved a hand down his jeans.

Logan ripped his packer out of his underwear and held it out in front of Mason, wagging it around. "I'm defending her because my dick is detachable! She's my sister in arms against people like you."

Mason looked positively horrified, and poked at Logan's packer like it might explode. "What the fuck," he breathed.

"I'm transgender," Logan said. "So, apparently, is Cameron. That shouldn't matter to you! She's a girl! She likes you! Enough to bone you, if she's being honest and not denying your request for sleeping with her! Why the fuck should it matter if she has a dick or not?!"

"Logan--" Mason started.

"No," Logan said, cheeks burning as he shoved his packer back down into its sling and repositioned himself. He growled, "You're too transphobic for me to be your friend, if this is the way you're going to behave. Don't expect me at DnD this week."

"Wait, Logan--"

Logan paused with his hand on the door handle, expecting an apology that didn't come.

"You...you're not welcome back at DnD if you think it's okay to lie to people about stuff like that," Mason said.

"I never lied," Logan said evenly. "You never asked me directly if I was trans, so I never lied. But rest assured, I won't be coming back, and you can make sure that everyone in your party is cisgender with genital inspections to boot if that's your prerogative."

He didn't wait to hear Mason's retort, leaving the dorm and slamming the door on his way out. "Hey!" another student complained.

"Sorry, man," Logan said, waving him off. "Just done with unpleasant people."

"Mason that bad?" the student asked with a snort.

"Worse, today," Logan said. "Anyway, I'm off."

Logan walked back to his dorm room, scowl etched into his face. He hadn't meant for things to get that heated with Mason. He heard hurried footsteps behind him and turned, to find Mason standing there, out of breath. "Well?" Logan asked. "What are you gonna do now?"

Wind whipped between them as Mason tried to catch his breath. "Cameron's in the girl's dorms. She doesn't belong there. And you don't belong in the guy's dorms."

Logan laughed. "What are you gonna do? Tattle on me? The school knows! I'm paired up with my boyfriend, Cameron's no doubt with someone who's fine with her being trans. They may let transphobes come to this school but they don't let their transgender students get hate-crimed every time they go to their dorm."

Mason turned red. "You're trying to lie to everyone you meet! You and Cameron both!"

"That's where you're wrong, Mason," Logan said evenly. "I have a guy's brain. Cameron has a girl's. We just happened to not have the bodies to match. So we made our bodies as close as we can get with hormones, and surgery, and vocal training, and picking up all the little quirks that are different between men and women. Cameron was smitten with you, man. She loved you, and you threw that away all because of your willful ignorance? I pity you."

Jack and Cameron approached from behind Mason, and Logan was filled with fury as he saw Cameron's makeup streaming down her face. "Mason, you're an ass. The fact that you can't see Cameron for who she is because you're too busy focusing on her bits is sad, and frankly, a little disturbing."

Jack snorted from behind Mason and Mason turned. "You side with her?" Mason asked with a sneer.

"With Cameron? Of course," Jack said, wrapping an arm around Cameron's shoulders.

"Not him. Her," Mason said, jerking a thumb towards Logan.

Logan flinched. Jack growled. Cameron's eyes darkened. "Fuck you, Mason!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, voice training gone out the window. "You want to misgender me and say that you're 'super straight' so you won't date me?! Fine! But you don't treat people who back me up the same way! Logan is a man! And if you're too deluded and angry to see that then you're the problem!"

Everyone in the vicinity stared at them, and Cameron sniffled. Her voice was back to the way it normally was when she turned to Jack and asked, "You still have those M&M's ready for me?"

"Yeah. We don't revoke M%M privileges for yelling at transphobes. If anything, you deserve more candy for that." Jack gave her shoulders a squeeze and walked her over to Logan. "Lo? You ready to go?"

"Not quite," Logan said, voice gone steely. He strode up to Mason. They were about the same height, but the rage in Logan's eyes must have made Mason recoil some, shrinking away. "You tell anyone that Cameron's transgender, and you'll have to answer to me, understand? No one will believe you if you say I'm trans. And I'll make sure anyone looking at my junk or Cameron's junk strangely gets their clock cleaned. Say what you want about the breakup. But don't drag Cameron's name through the mud for it."

Logan strode away, following Jack and Cameron to their dorm, and he blew out a shaky breath as the three of them got situated in the room. Jack was staring at Logan, and Logan knew they would be having a talk when Cameron was calm. Meanwhile, Cameron was shaking and crying on Logan's bed, head in her hands. "God, I can't believe he went nuclear option on me," she wept. "I knew from the second I started trying to defend myself it wouldn't end well, but...that was worse than expected."

Logan's phone pinged and he grabbed it, sighing. Jeff had texted him. Everything okay?

Biting his lip, Logan simply texted back, Mason and Cameron broke up. It's messy rn

Jack tried to comfort Cameron as best he could, and Logan grabbed their candy stash, offering it to Cameron. She gave both of them a watery smile. "You guys don't have to do this, you know..."

"We want to," Logan said. "We both know how much transphobia can suck. Me a little more than Jack, but we've both weathered through it before. And we'll weather through it with you, too."

"What're your favorite rom-coms?" Jack asked Cameron. "Fair warning, I only have Prime Student and Netflix, so I don't have everything."

Cameron laughed and Jack grabbed his laptop, so they could talk movies for a while. Logan gave Jack a questioning look while Cameron was absorbed in picking out a movie. We good?

Jack sighed a little sigh, looking away and working his jaw. Worry gnawed at Logan. Jack wasn't going to bring up confrontation in front of Cameron, not after what just happened, but Jack definitely wasn't pleased with Logan. Logan knew that showing Mason his packer had been a dumb move. But Jack didn't know he made it; he just knew Mason was misgendering Logan. Still, he wouldn't do that without transphobic reason, Logan mused, so maybe Jack suspected Logan had done exactly that.

Cameron pulled up a feel-good movie that Logan had heard of, but hadn't ever seen before. Jack let them watch it, and the three of them placed bets on who would eat the most candy, followed by a sugar binge for the ages. Logan's phone pinged again and he put it on silent, watching the texts come in. Lily-Anne was first. Mason said you're not coming to DnD. Everything ok?

I sided with Cameron in his and Cam's argument. So Mason's a little pissed at me

Lily-Anne just sent back a thumbs-up emoji and said, Sorry. DnD won't be the same without you

Logan's stomach sank. It hadn't even occurred to him that he might want the others to fight for him to stay in DnD. Even if they didn't win. He wanted them to be able to understand that Mason was wrong.

Sophia texted next, and Logan sighed as he saw her message. Mason said there's something you wanna tell us?

Logan's reply was a shrug emoji. I don't know why he'd say that. I don't.

Her text back was short and made Logan's lips twitch in a vague semblance of a smile. Idk, man. Mason's weird. Who knows what he meant

Right? Logan texted back. Won't be coming to DnD. Gonna miss seeing you, Jeff, and Lily-Anne

If you start up another group, I could join and you wouldn't have to say goodbye to all of us? Sophia offered.

Logan smiled. Out of all of them, she was probably the most understanding. Jack might do something, but I think he already has players in mind. Still, we can hang out around campus whenever, just lmk

Of course!

Jack gave Logan another look. We need to talk.

Logan grimaced and subtly signed, "Later. When Cameron's gone."

Jack's lips thinned into a line but he agreed. Logan's stomach flipped. He didn't know what he was more nervous about: Mason trying to force him out, or Jack's "talk" with Logan about whatever they needed to talk about.

Chapter Text

October 31st, 2010

Logan took an involuntary step back away from Jack as his face grew red and he scowled at the bullies who were trying to steal their candy. "If you do that again, I'm gonna have to slug you!" Jack warned.

"Oh, I'm so scared!" one of the boys said. "You and your little girlfriend here couldn't land a swing if you tried!"

Jack brought his fist back and rammed it into the boy's face as hard as he could, and the boy staggered back, swearing. "You'll regret that, you little twerp!" he exclaimed, even as he and his buddy backed away.

When Jack turned to Logan, his face was showing nothing but concern. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," Logan said. "They didn't get any of my candy. You?"

"My thumb hurts a little bit. Now I know why Roxie said to put your thumb over the bottom of your fist when you slug someone."

January 22nd, 2022

Logan knew this would happen. He knew that Jack was going to sigh that sigh, and say his name in just such a way that indicated they were going to be having a talk. Logan had been ignoring it for the past five days. But he wasn't able to any longer. Even if they were helping the tutoring program this evening, they had hours before that was happening. And Jack sighed that sigh and Logan's hackles raised and the discussion began. "Logan..."

"What."

"We need to talk about what happened," Jack lightly pressed, walking to Logan's desk and sitting on a corner of it.

Logan continued typing at his English essay. Jack huffed. "Babe, we need to talk about this."

"We really don't," Logan said.

"Mason misgendered you," Jack said.

"Astute observation. He also misgendered Cameron. Repeatedly." Logan shook his head. "I don't understand the significance here."

"What. Did. You. Do?" Jack asked.

"Nothing you wouldn't have done if you were in my shoes," Logan said, continuing to type.

Jack closed Logan's laptop and Logan snapped, "Hey! I'm trying to finish an English essay here!"

"We both know that isn't due until Monday night," Jack said. "And we need to talk about this!"

"You know you would have done the same thing I did if Mason had called you!" Logan snapped. "You would have defended Cameron just like I did!"

"Yeah? How did you defend her?" Jack pressed. "Because your binder isn't that worn out, Lo! No one can tell you have boobs just by looking at you. No one knows your dick is detachable unless you show them!"

"You think that I, what, huh?" Logan asked. "Showed Mason my binder? Or my packer? So what if I did?!"

"So what? So what?!" Jack asked, sputtering. "Do you have any idea just how much danger you put yourself in, going to Mason's dorm and showing him that?! I thought you wanted to go stealth!"

"I do go stealth!" Logan snapped.

"Just not around transphobes, apparently, which is where you need to go stealth the most!" Jack scoffed.

"Fuck you, Jack! That's my decision to make, not yours!" Logan growled.

Jack's hands balled into fists, and Logan crossed his arms. "You wanna hit me? Go ahead! Wouldn't be the worst thing I've dealt with!"

In an instant, Jack hollered, "I'd never hit you, you moron!"

"You have a funny way of showing that!" Logan snapped back.

Jack made an 'x' with his arms and snapped, "Time out!"

The two of them stood there, glaring at each other, breath heaving in their chests. "What did you show Mason?" Jack finally asked, in a voice that wasn't calm, but was at least normal volume.

"I pulled out my packer," Logan said. "And no one but me and him saw it. He kicked me out of DnD, as you heard. No one else knows that I'm trans. He tried to misgender me once in passing and nearly lost his front teeth with how hard he fell after I tripped him. He's not going to make that mistake again. Cameron and I are both safe."

Jack scoffed. "Yeah. Safe. Because I think that everyone who is safe has a worst enemy on their college campus who wants to ruin their lives and make them part of the forty percent by forcing you into the wrong dorm."

Logan rolled his eyes. "It'd take more than that to kill me, Jack. I'm not some fragile thing that you found in an antique shop that's one wrong breath away from breaking."

"You say that now," Jack muttered.

Logan blinked. Cocked a hip. "You don't believe me?"

"I've seen you when you're drowning in dysphoria, man. Something tells me you'd give in a lot faster than you think."

"That's just rude," Logan said. "And, once again, I'm the judge of that, not you. I decide what I do and don't do. I decide who I come out to. I decide that, because I'm the one who has this life. Not you. You're a part of my life. You don't dictate it."

"You're putting yourself in danger completely recklessly," Jack said. "And I don't want to see you hurt."

"Okay, so don't be a jackass and tell me that. Don't tell me that I can't come out to someone. Don't tell me that it's not my decision to make. Don't tell me it's a stupid decision. Because when you do that, you look like a total control freak." Logan pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's my decision. No one else's. And if I'm in danger, well, I guess I'm in danger. I'm always putting myself at risk, every time I walk outside our dorm. You realize that? All it takes is one packer that isn't secure in its sling, one day I forget my binder, and all of a sudden I'm the 'transvestite freak' who needs to be driven out of the school."

Jack crossed his arms. "You realize that's not healthy."

"Well aware, thank you."

"Maybe you need to..." Jack trailed off.

"To what? To transfer? To go back home? Really, Jack. What do I need to do? Go on, tell me. Continue to dictate my life."

"Christ, Lo, that's not what I meant and you know it!" Jack snapped.

Logan growled. "You're a controlling asshole."

"And you're a reckless endangerment to society," Jack shot back.

Logan opened his laptop and resumed typing. "Get lost. I don't want to continue this discussion."

"Gladly," Jack said, storming out of the room.

Logan sighed, leaning back in his chair. He hated when he and Jack fought. And logically, he knew Jack was just concerned. But this was something he really didn't handle well. Jack trying to "protect" him out of some misguided sense of loyalty was not helpful. Logan could handle this on his own, thank-you-very-much.

Why didn't Jack realize that? Why did he always prepare himself to go down in flames along with Logan? Jack was his own person. Just because Logan made a stupid decision didn't mean Jack had to follow in his footsteps. Never mind the panic that this stupid decision could ruin Logan's life. Never mind the fact that if he wasn't perfect at this, the lie that he was a capable adult would come crumbling down. Never mind that as soon as people realized that, they would stray away from him. Jack didn't need to be a part of the endless second-guessing and the inevitable failure and the desperate attempts to do something right for once.

Was he trying to convince Jack or himself of that fact?

Logan glanced towards the door. He should apologize. He really should go out and find Jack and say sorry for what he was doing. But...if he did that, how would Jack take it? Logan didn't want Jack to think he was off the hook scot-free. And while no one in Logan's family had assumed that since he had been adopted...old habits died hard. Jack had been a part of his life before adoption. He didn't have those beliefs instilled in him by Dad and Ami like Logan's siblings. There was a very real chance, to Logan at least, that Jack would just drop everything from the fight and never apologize for blowing up.

And Logan would never admit this to Jack without prompting, but Jack getting angry was terrifying. The way his hands balled into fists and shook, the way the anger burned so deep in his eyes, Logan couldn't be sure if Jack would hit him or something else. And while Logan was right, getting hit wasn't the worst thing that would have happened to him, it would be up there.

He should wait until Jack had cooled off, and then they could have a calm conversation about what had happened. Hopefully. Logan really, really hoped it would be calm. Because if they got into another fight over their fight...Christ. Logan would probably just curl up into a ball and cry.

A notification popped up on Logan's computer that someone back home wanted to talk. He answered the incoming call, and Dee and Roman were on the other end. He offered them a tired smile. "Hey, guys," he said.

Dee's smile fell off his face. "What happened?" he asked.

"Ah...I don't really want to talk about it," Logan said, waving away Dee's concern. "I'm just tired."

"You're also masking and making excuses," Roman said. "You're never 'just tired' with Jack around. Jack recharges your social battery."

"Yeah, well, not today," Logan sighed. "Why were you calling?"

"Missed you," Dee said. "Why isn't Jack recharging your social battery? Who do we need to kill?"

"Don't kill anyone," Logan groaned. "Except maybe my transphobic DM from DnD."

"Ah," Roman said. "Sucks that he turned out that way."

"Sucks that I outed myself to him in a fit of rage, too," Logan said. "It is what it is."

"You did what?" Roman asked.

"Oh, not you, too!" Logan said, exasperated. "Yeah. Jack and I just fought over this."

"Are you safe? He's not in any of your classes? Not starting any rumors about you?" Roman asked. "You're not going to be hurt, right?"

"No one's getting hurt," Logan assured. "Something that Jack didn't seem to understand."

"Granted, Jack knows the situation better than we do," Dee said. "He might know something you don't."

"Like how many homophobes and transphobes there are at this school, lying in wait like boogeymen?" Logan asked, rolling his eyes. "Boys, I'm not in danger. I can hold my own against one angry transphobe. It's fine."

"Yeah, but you shouldn't have to," Dee said, frowning. "And what happens if one becomes two? Or three?"

"Dee, that's your anxieties talking," Logan said.

Roman groaned. "Oh, Logan, you're an idiot," he sighed.

Logan narrowed his eyes. "Come again?"

"Jack has those same anxieties. He cares about you. He worries about those same things and he doesn't respond to logic with rationality. He pushes back because after you got kicked out, he had no guarantees about your safety. He doesn't trust transphobes not to out you, because the biggest experience he had with them was your parents and the idiots in high school. He doesn't know that quiet transphobes and intimidated transphobes won't squeal. He just knows you had the potential to be in danger, and that danger is still real to him," Roman explained.

Logan blinked. "Allistics are wild."

"Yeah. Now go find him, talk to him, and reassure him that not everyone is like your asshole parents," Roman instructed.

Logan nodded, hung up after a quick goodbye, and headed to the gym, where Jack always went if he got to angry or anxious, or both. Jack was running full-tilt on the treadmills when Logan walked in. Jack glanced at him, before continuing to run. "It occurred to me, and by occurred I mean Roman explained to me, that you have anxiety over my safety," Logan said. "I can guarantee that Mason won't talk, Jack. I know that doesn't make things easy for you, and you can't just take my word for it. That's fine. But I am safe. As safe as I ever can be, being myself. And if it helps you, you can hover around me for a week or two to prove it."

Jack slowed down the treadmill to a cool-down walk, before looking at Logan. He silently nodded.

Logan nodded back. "You still up for tutoring the kids tonight?"

Jack nodded again. "I'm out of breath," he signed. "But not mad. I just can't talk right now."

"I understand," Logan said. "Thank you for clarifying."

Jack gave Logan a little smile. When he caught his breath, he asked, "You're sure you're safe?"

"As sure as I ever can be," Logan said. "I know what kind of transphobe Mason is. He's not gonna talk."

"Okay," Jack breathed. "Okay."

"Okay?" Logan asked.

"Will be," Jack assured him. "Thanks, and sorry."

"Forgiven, and of course," Logan replied simply. "It helps you."

Chapter Text

August 1st, 2021

"Logan~" Roman sang as Logan walked in the door.

"No," Logan said, walking past Roman's grin.

"Come on, Logan. We're all dying to know what happened while you were at Jack's," Roman insisted. "Dee in particular wanted to know why you brought your backpack."

"I was bringing some books over for Jack to lend," Logan said, about to go upstairs to his room before Roman grabbed his arm.

"C'mon, Lo, we both know that's bullshit," Roman whispered.

"Watch your language around Dad and Ami. They have an inconvenient habit of overhearing things."

"They're gone with Patton and Virgil and Dee right now. But the first thing they're gonna ask when they get back is what happened on your date, and you know it."

"Fine," Logan scoffed. "I got lucky, and I'm hiding a clothing gift for Jack in my bag. Does his Highness need details about how I scored or is that information enough?"

Roman, only slightly red said, "That's enough for me. You better be prepared for some pestering from the others."

"Duh," Logan said.

February 6th, 2022

Logan was typing nothing in particular on his computer. Well, that was a lie. But he was a little embarrassed to admit that he still wrote fanfiction sometimes. Roman would never let him hear the end of it if he found out, but screw it, Sherlock Holmes needed a competent assistant sometimes, and Logan would make that happen even if he had to write it himself.

Checking the clock absently, Logan sighed. He missed Jack. It was about four in the afternoon, and Jack had gone off to do something or another with some of his friends immediately after lunch. They would meet up for DnD in two hours for the on-campus kids who were too scared or too busy to go to the Queer Club often (and how crazy was it that Jack ran two games, just so the off-campus kids felt comfortable somewhere?), but he wanted to hang out with Jack before that.

Logan stretched, staring at his document. It wasn't going anywhere, plot-wise or literally. Logan closed out and was in the process of putting his binder on when the dorm room opened. "Hey, Lo!" Jack exclaimed. "I didn't realize you were about to go out!"

"Just to look for you," Logan said, pulling down his binder and grabbing his shirt, the NASA T-shirt Virgil insisted he accept at Christmas. "What's up?"

"Well, I thought we could do something just for fun," Jack said with a shrug. "I mean, I know Valentine's is coming up, but we both have stuff to do that day, so I figured: why not make a mini-outing now?"

Logan smiled. "That sounds perfect, Jack."

Jack grinned. "Shall we go, then?"

Logan nodded and the two of them headed out, Logan following Jack off campus, through some of the town, to a local park. The weather was balmy for February, and Logan threaded his hand through Jack's as they walked through the park. "Just think, in a month or two the cherry blossoms will bloom and everyone with even a slight pollen allergy will be suffering," Jack said. "But it gets really pretty in the spring."

Laughing, Logan nudged Jack. "I don't think we should capitalize on other people's suffering, Jack."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay, point made," he teased. He guided them to a spot by the pond in the park. The two of them sat down, and Logan noticed that there were a few geese in the water. Jack looked around them, sighing. "It's nice," he said. "Nice to be out and about with you."

Logan narrowed his eyes. "What are you planning, Jack?"

Jack grinned. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Logan," he said, a gleam in his eye.

"Jack..." Logan sighed.

"All right, all right!" Jack laughed. "Hey, he's onto us, guys! Hurry up!"

Logan frowned as everyone from the DnD group seemingly appeared out of thin air. "What's going on?" he asked.

He didn't get a verbal response. Cameron just started strumming a ukulele. Mika started to add some vocals, and Julia played the flute. George, the last person in their DnD group, beatboxed.

"It's not the perfect way to sing this song, but I'll take it," Jack laughed.

Logan frowned. "Jack, you're not..."

Apparently, he was, because Jack started to belt. "Today is gonna be the day..."

Logan burst out laughing as Jack and everyone in their DnD group serenaded him with "Wonderwall." Logan's face was bright red, but not out of embarrassment. He was shocked that Jack had decided to something like this, and had coordinated it with their whole DnD group.

When the last chord had been strummed and Jack was out of breath and panting, Logan laughed, "How long have you guys been practicing that?"

"Um. Four hours," Cameron said with a sheepish grin. "Today was the only day we could all practice, or actually do this, for that matter. We're all busy on Valentine's."

"Of course you are," Logan said, shaking his head fondly. "Oh my god, you guys are...really sweet. You didn't have to!"

"Well, Jack did threaten to send a dire wolf on our party if we didn't..." George muttered.

"What?! Jack!" Logan laughed, whacking him lightly. "I would have been happy with a Valentine's of cheesy rom-coms and kettle corn! You didn't have to arrange this, or threaten anyone!"

"Hey, this was far more fun," Jack said with a grin. "Besides, now that we're all here..." Jack rummaged under the bench and pulled out a small backpack. "...I have a frisbee and some foam swords, depending on whether we want to go sporty or nerdy!"

"Ultimate frisbee is not sporty, Jack, we've been over this," Mika stated.

"Shush, you. It's the sportiest thing I can get a nerd like Logan to do nowadays," Jack stated.

George shuffled on his feet. "Is it safe to do that in a binder?"

"Safer than running around waving a foam sword," Jack said.

Logan looked over to George. "You worried about my health?"

"Um. Yes, but also...mine..." George mumbled into the dirt.

Logan blinked. "You go excellent stealth, my man."

George offered Logan a hesitant smile. "Thanks. I'm lucky that I grew up in New York...my parents weren't ever a question of being accepted or not. I lucked out in the birth lottery. Transitioned through high school, and I'm scheduled for top surgery in a couple months."

Logan grinned. "Hey, I'm jealous! Not in a, 'I'll destroy you,' sorta way, but in a, 'Damn, your insurance helps pay for top surgery?' way."

"Yeah, it covers the surgery itself, I just needed to schedule the consults," George said with a smile. "Really lucky."

Jack turned to Logan. "Speaking of top surgery, how's your job going?"

"Uh, library's still paying me pennies but it's better than nothing," Logan said with a shrug. "At this rate...uh...two years, I guess?"

Jack gave him a smile. "Hey, that's still not bad! You could hold off on taking gym until after surgery that way!"

"Here's hoping," Logan said with a smile.

"Okay, seriously. Frisbee or sword fight?" Jack asked.

"Sword fight," Logan said, "...So long as George is okay with that?"

"Yeah, it won't kill me," George said. "I've fallen asleep in class with my binder on. So. Done way worse."

Logan grimaced. "Yikes."

"Yeah," George said, shrugging. "But what're you gonna do? Midterms were brutal."

Logan agreed and all of them grabbed foam swords from the backpack. "I feel ridiculous," Logan laughed. He made a mock fencing position and exclaimed, "En garde!"

George grinned and mimicked Logan's stance. The two of them pretended to fence, which was terrible and nothing like real fencing, according to Mika. But everyone got a foam sword to swing around, and everyone wound up jumping all over the place, swinging and whacking each other everywhere and just having a fun time doing it. Logan and Cameron wound up having a serious battle, which captured everyone else's attention while they were fighting. Cameron spun back and forth on her feet, making her skirt flare out like in the movies, and Logan had such a serious focused face that he could have been doing Calculus. "You'll never take me alive!" Logan exclaimed, whacking Cameron's sword away with his own.

"I never intended to!" Cameron shot back, whacking Logan's side mercilessly.

They began to laugh, and kept laughing until neither one of them could hold onto their swords anymore, or even breathe well for that matter. Logan was gasping in his binder, and Cameron was clutching at her sides, feeling her breast forms discreetly to ensure they hadn't moved out of place.

"Okay, maybe this was a bad idea, bringing foam swords to the most competitive people on campus," Jack admitted.

"No way was this a bad idea! I had the time of my life!" Julia exclaimed.

"I did too," Logan gasped.

Jack shook his head. "You also can now barely breathe," he pointed out.

"Just a minor complication," Logan shrugged off. "I'll be fine."

Jack groaned. "You worry me when you say stuff like that, Lo."

Logan sat down and focused on breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth. "I mean, it'll be fine," he said. "I just might need to go a little slower in the future. Maybe I'll wear my hoodie instead of my binder tomorrow. It's not a big deal."

"And you'd tell me if anything was wrong?" Jack fretted.

"Of course," Logan said. "It's fine."

"All right," Jack breathed. "All right. Everyone, let's put the swords back and get ready for tonight's DnD game, yeah?"

"Hell yeah!" Cameron said, throwing her fist in the air. "I can't wait to see who I can seduce this round!"

"Of course you would," Jack sighed. "I didn't realize DnD could be so saucy when I first started planning."

"Hey, you could say no to me trying to seduce everyone in sight, and you don't!" Cameron argued.

"I know! Because it's fun to watch you try and seduce me. But it's still a lot to process," Jack said as they started walking. "It's just...so many options, so little time for you. And so many options and so little plans for me."

"Hey, Jack. I want to let you know I'm still doing the penis-count on how many phallic objects you can stuff into our campaign," George helpfully added. "So far, you have not beat the record of my last campaign, which was twenty seven."

"I'm not trying to beat your record, George," Jack sighed, shaking his head.

"But come on! Where's the fun if there's no competition?!" George exclaimed.

Logan hummed. "I presume the fun is in the adventure we had on the way."

"Thank you, Logan," Jack said.

"That is such a bullshit My Little Pony answer and you know it!" Cameron playfully snapped. "All the fun is in the competition!"

Logan rolled his eyes. "Really. And you have no fun aggravating Jack by being a pansexual bard and trying to seduce everyone you meet?"

"There will be one day where he creates someone who isn't my type," Cameron said. "And that is the day I will stop trying to seduce everyone I meet. I'll seduce everyone but that character."

"Oh? And what's the definition of that character who isn't your type?" Jack asked.

"Someone who's interested in me from the get-go!" Cameron said.

Logan snorted. "Like Donna Noble to the OG Jack Harkness from Doctor Who."

"Hey, I'm the OG Jack Harkness!" Jack exclaimed. "I existed before he did!"

"He existed at late twenties to early thirties when he was introduced, and he was a Captain in the British Army in World War Two. Something tells me he was in existence before you, unless you'd like to share with me that you were secretly born in the eighteen-hundreds?"

"I hate you," Jack laughed. "I hate you so much."

"At most, I irritate you," Logan said. "I am secure in our relationship."

"And if you give him any reason to not be secure in that relationship, Jack, I'll steal your kneecaps," Mika said from behind them.

"Ominous," Jack said with an eye-roll.

"It should be," Mika said. "Considering my teeth collection in my dorm room."

Jack stopped walking and turned to Mika, horrified. "Your...teeth...collection?"

"They're human teeth," Julia added. "I can confirm, Mika keeps human teeth in their dorm room. Some of them are even adult teeth."

Mika smiled benignly and Jack paled. "Okay, fuck," he said. "Forget phallic objects, this DnD session will be a challenge to find Mika's teeth collection in-game."

"Challenge so accepted," Mika grinned, showing that all the teeth he had were indeed, still intact. "You're gonna have a hard time figuring out whose teeth I stole."

"Steal one of Mason's for me sometime?" Cameron asked with a wink at Mika.

He grinned again, and this time it looked much more feral. "Will do when possible," he said.

"What are you majoring in, anyway?" Jack asked Mika.

"Pre-med," Mika said matter-of-factly. "I'm gonna be a dentist."

Chapter Text

October 7th, 2009

"Sharks don't have bones," Logan said idly as he and Jack played at recess.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Sharks don't have bones," Logan repeated. "Not like humans or other animals do, anyway."

Jack shook his head. "You're obsessed with sharks, Jess. But I'll bite. If they don't have bones, what do they have?"

"Stuff that's made out of cartilage," Logan informed Jack. "Humans have cartilage in their nose. That's why it's bendy."

Jack felt at his nose curiously. "So sharks must be super bendy, if all they have is that stuff."

"I guess so," Logan agreed. "One day, I wanna shark tooth necklace. That'd be wicked, don't you think?"

"You'd rock it," Jack said. "Now come on, let's see if we can cross the monkey bars!"

February 26th, 2022

Jack was laughing at Logan behind him, but Logan couldn't bring himself to care. He was entranced with the fish swimming all around them as they walked through the aquarium. Logan had his hand interlaced with Jack's, and Jack was lightly tugging him, impatient to see the next room full of tropical fish, but Logan was enchanted right here and now. They were in a room that showed the most common animals of the Great Barrier Reef, and Logan felt like he had never been so relaxed in his life. Even with Jack tugging his arm, even with little kids wailing across the room. He could just watch the fish and see that none of the other things that usually bothered him really mattered. The fish were the only things that mattered, and they were the most calming thing of all.

"Lo," Jack pleaded. "We can come back to this room later if you really want to, but I want to see the next room!"

"Fine," Logan sighed, letting Jack tug him into the next room while Logan fondly smiled.

The two of them wandered the room, looking at the different fish and reading the placards about each one. Logan could feel sleep tugging at him, just a touch, and he was surprised. He hadn't been relaxed enough to take a nap for months--the only time he had been able to take naps recently was when he passed out from sheer exhaustion.

Jack squeezed Logan's hand. "You have to stay with me a while longer, sleepyhead," he teased.

"Mm," Logan grunted. "If you wanted me to stay awake you shouldn't have brought me to an aquarium."

"The fish are that relaxing?" Jack asked doubtfully.

"More," Logan replied matter-of-factly. "It's scientifically backed that following fish movements with your eyes can lower anxiety."

"Shit, I should have brought you here before midterms, then!" Jack laughed.

"I would have had my nose stuck in a book at all times," Logan replied.

"Well, you would have been missing out."

Logan nodded his agreement. "Indeed."

A little girl shouted, "Mommy, those two men are holding hands!" from behind them, and Jack and Logan turned around, Jack tense but Logan with an amused smile.

The woman shushed the girl and pulled her away from Jack and Logan, trying to distract her as she kept an eye on Jack and Logan. Logan sighed. "The South," he said sarcastically, "Is just bursting with understanding people."

Jack snorted, clapping a hand over his mouth. "I was not expecting you to be that calm about being called out," he snickered. "Nor was I expecting you to be that sarcastic."

Logan shrugged. "I am just bursting with surprises, I suppose."

"More like your eyes have barely left the fish for the past twenty minutes and you're super calm because of it," Jack replied.

Logan nodded, before realizing what the next room was and dragging Jack to the end of the room before dropping Jack's hand and jumping up and down in excitement at the next sight for them to see. The sharks.

Jack didn't mention Logan's happy stimming, a fact which Logan greatly appreciated. He was self-conscious enough about most of his neurodivergent traits without teasing him over geeking out about what had to be one of his very first special interests. He was enraptured from the moment they were in the room, walking down the slanted floor so they could observe the sharks at deeper and deeper depths. When one of them came close to the glass, Logan exclaimed, "Hello! You're such a good shark! Oh, you're just gorgeous!" and refused to move or stop praising the shark until it moved away.

When Logan finally tore away his attention from the sharks, Jack was snickering. "What?" Logan asked, a blush heating up his features.

"You act the same way about sharks that Dee does about snakes," Jack informed him. "And it's not a bad thing! It's just...super endearing to watch you be amazed at these creatures. It's like we're six years old again, and you're disappointed that you couldn't get to do your book report on chimpanzees again, but then you get assigned to do a report on sharks and you're completely enamored within moments of opening up the book."

"Filing this away in the 'More Proof that Logan's Autistic' folder, are you?" Logan asked.

"Well, I'd hardly call your obsessions anything but a sign you're a little neurodivergent," Jack said. "Even rocket science, which we both know is a lot of intellectual stimulation for you, is also an obsession of sorts. More astronomy in general, but..."

"I see your point," Logan sighed. "But sometimes...I just wish that I could go without labelling everything. The label is useful for explaining why I do what I do, to be sure, but it's also restrictive."

"Only if you treat it the same way you're treating other labels," Jack said. "And I think that's the problem: you treat it like a label, rather than an explanation."

Logan frowned. "Explain, please."

Jack shrugged. "I'm not sure how, but I can try. When you label yourself as queer, you're saying, 'This is who I am. No more or less.' And yes, queer as a label can be very fluid, but it's still a box you're voluntarily putting yourself in. Finding out that you're autistic as an adult, you're trying to put yourself in a box that you're unfamiliar with. It's awkward, and hasn't been warmed up by your body heat, and maybe it has some pokey bits or holes that you don't like, and it makes it feel awkward, and you don't want to be in it. If autism is a box for you, you're limiting yourself from exploring other bits and odds and ends of yourself. You're instead trying to pour them into the box and getting frustrated when they fall outside the holes, because autism isn't all of you, it's just a part. A large part, yes, and it explains a lot of your behavior. But it won't fit everything about you. Not in the same way a label like 'queer' fits you, or 'cassgender' fits Patton. Labels to you are places you can fit yourself into. Explanations are rationale for behaviors or actions that you find out of the ordinary. And you're treating autism like a label, when you probably would find more contentment in it being an explanation.

"Take Dee, for instance. He's autistic, but he doesn't make that everything he is. He can't understand tone? He says, 'Sorry, I'm autistic.' Not as an excuse, but as an explanation for why it might be difficult for him to do what's asked of him. Most doctors who would use autism as a label for him would be confounded when he started speaking more often, because he got comfortable around us and we got adjusted to the fact that he would sound 'flat.' Or, I did. To you, he sounded pretty normal, right?"

"No different than how other people sound, aside from a slight lack of inflection when it came to questions, and that was remedied soon enough," Logan agreed, frowning.

"See, that's part of his and your autism. And you just explained how you didn't find a difference in his voice, and why he didn't have inflection in his questions. So maybe instead of treating it like a label, you should treat it as an explanation."

"Lots of people will say I'm using it as an excuse," Logan said, frowning.

"Lots of people are dicks, and don't understand the difference between, 'I can't do this because I'm autistic," and, 'This sounds incredibly difficult because I'm autistic, but that doesn't mean I can't or haven't tried it,'" Jack said. "Toxic positivity at its finest."

Logan hummed his agreement, before another shark swam by and he was enraptured once again. Jack squeezed Logan's hand lightly to gather his attention. "Should we grab something to eat?" Jack asked. "We have an all-day pass for the aquarium, so we don't have to worry about leaving and then paying for re-entry. And the food here's kinda pricey."

"I guess we should grab something," Logan said, staring forlornly at the tanks. "But I want to be with these beautiful creatures more."

"Hence the all-day pass, Lo, c'mon. I don't want you keeling over," Jack gently coaxed.

Logan grumbled but allowed himself to be dragged towards the exit as they reached the bottom of the ramp. "God, sharks are amazing," Logan said. "Their bones are made of cartilage, remember? Most of their bones are not, in fact, bone. And they're closely related to rays."

"Mhm, you've mentioned that once or twice," Jack said patiently, letting Logan gush.

"Sharks are so cool, Jack. Like, they're almost as cool as space," Logan said, sighing dreamily. "If NASA didn't sound so great, I'd be a marine biologist and work with sharks."

Jack laughed. "High praise," he said.

"Indeed," Logan hummed.

Jack continued to drag Logan along until they wound up at a fast-food joint half a block from the aquarium, where Jack ordered a burger and a coffee, while Logan ordered chicken tenders. "Their coffee won't be as good as Ami's," Logan warned.

"No one makes coffee better than your Ami," Jack laughed. "Doesn't mean I don't need a caffeine jolt to deal with you behaving almost neurotypical, you're so excited."

Logan frowned. "How do you mean?"

"You're not anxious, you're aware of your surroundings without fixating on one or two problems, and you're generally happy and have a spring in your step. I'm not used to it, it's giving me whiplash," Jack said.

"Huh," Logan said. "You think that makes me act neurotypical?"

"I think you're calm enough that your autism and anxiety are finally allowed to take a backseat," Jack said with a shrug as they got their food and sat down. "Make of that what you will."

Logan took a bite of chicken as he watched Jack take a swig of coffee, before coughing. "Needs sugar," he said, pulling a face. "And a healthy dose of cream."

"No one makes coffee like Ami makes coffee," Logan said knowingly. "You went in expecting something good, not something designed to supercharge your energy bar."

"I expected a little more than...that," Jack coughed, grabbing sugar from the table and pouring it into the coffee. "I don't think they have creamer here."

"Guess you'll just have to suffer...or order something else," Logan said.

"I'm gonna go grab a soda," Jack agreed, coughing again.

Logan sat back in his seat and continued to eat, letting his mind wander. Jack was being super nice, taking him out to see the aquarium for their date. Logan smiled at the thought of going back to see the sharks, before he turned thoughtful. He'd love to be able to teach someone about sharks, instead of infodumping to Jack again and again, who had suffered through his special interest from grades first through third, and had heard all of this information already. He wondered what it would be like to have a child, and teach them these sorts of things.

He knew that he couldn't take in nearly half a dozen kids like Dad and Ami had, but in the abstract, children seemed...nice. Possible. Maybe a difficult dream, but ultimately a rewarding one. Jack sat down and sipped his soda. "What're you thinking about?" Jack asked.

"Abstractly? Children," Logan said.

Jack frowned. "Kids? Really?" he asked.

"I mean, have you ever thought about starting a family in the future?" Logan asked.

"Once or twice, I guess," Jack said. "I'm not really committed one way or another to starting a family. You?"

"I'd like to have a kid some day," Logan said. "Not immediately, and probably not until I have my Master's, at least. But...eventually. One day. It'd be nice to have a family."

"Am I in that picture with you?" Jack asked.

"...Yeah," Logan said eventually. "We'd be dads together. Is that weird?"

"I don't think so," Jack said with a shrug. "Just...hold off on getting pregnant till we graduate."

Logan laughed.