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Chapter Text

"What do you mean, I'm famous?" Harry frowned.

Griphook smiled thinly. "The Dark Lord Voldemort killed your parents and attempted to kill you, but failed. The entire world knows this."

Harry wrinkled his nose. "No way. I refuse. Fame -- ugh. Is there a way to change my appearance and name?"

The goblin raised a brow. "Yes. You will have to choose a last name of someone who could have an heir."

"Fine then, as long as my first name is Hadrian. It's similar to Harry, I'll be able to get used to it easier," Harry said.

"That's doable," Griphook smirked. He handed Harry a list of last names.

"Riddle?" Harry said with surprise. "That's... a fairly normal name."

"Would you like that one?" Griphook stifled laughter. Oh, Dumbledore was going to have a heart attack.

Harry shrugged. "It's acceptable. So how do I change my appearance?"

"First, we have to decide what you look like," Griphook scolded. "This is what Tom Marvolo Riddle, your fake father, looks like." He showed Harry a photo of the man in his sixth year.

"Huh. He's hot," Harry said with a grin. "That's totally fine. I won't look exactly like him, right? Nobody looks exactly like one parent."

Griphook grinned. "They do not. I suggest changing your hair to a dark red." Dumbledore would think Lily had a child with Voldemort. Oh, he was going to enjoy this.

"What are you smirking about?" Harry asked dryly.

"I would like you to, when you return, show me a memory of the headmaster's reaction to your name and appearance," said Griphook vaguely, eyes dancing.

"Did he know Riddle?" Harry said, sniggering.

"Oh, yes, and they hated each other. Still do," Griphook mused.

"Changing my name and messing with someone," Harry cackled. "Let's do this."

"Oh, do you know what would be even funnier?" Griphook asked. "Let's make your eyes black, then Dumbledore will assume Riddle, your mother, and his potions master were in a tryst."

Harry burst out laughing.

-------

Blood Test for Hadrian Alaric Riddle:

Name: Hadrian Alaric Riddle

Real Name: Harry James Potter

Mother: Lily Potter Née Evans (deceased)

Father(s): James Potter (biological; deceased), Tom Marvolo Riddle (barely living), Severus Tobias Riddle-Prince (living)

Godparent(s): Sirius Orion Black (living, compromised); Andromeda Tonks Née Black (living)

Titles: Boy-Who-Lived, Chosen One

Lord to:

   Potter

   Gryffindor (through Potter)

   Merlin (through Potter)

   Hufflepuff (through Evans)

Heir to:

   Peverell (conquest; through Gaunt)

   Slytherin (conquest; through Gaunt)

   Gaunt (conquest)

   Black (through godfather)

   Prince (conquest)

   Ravenclaw (conquest; through Prince)

-------

"Hello, is this seat taken?" the red-head boy asked.

Hadrian answered without looking up from Hogwarts, a History. "No, as long as you don't speak. I wasn't able to finish reading the school books at home and I'd like to do that."

"I'm Ron Weasley," the boy offered as he sat down, obviously not having heard a word Hadrian said. "What's your name?"

"Hadrian Riddle." Hadrian kept his gaze on the book.

"You're being rude, you know," Ron frowned.

"Am I?" Hadrian asked coldly. "I warned you that I wanted to finish reading the school books. I made it clear I wasn't interested in conversation. If you want one, go sit somewhere else."

"Everywhere else is full," Ron scowled.

Hadrian sneered. "Really? I got on this train two minutes ago, and most of the compartments were either empty or half-empty."

"Fine!" Ron snapped, "I'll just go sit somewhere else, you're rude!" He barged out of the compartment and slammed the door.

"Thank Merlin," Hadrian sniffed, before going back to his book.

An hour later, someone knocked on the door. "Enter," Hadrian drawled, lowering his book. The door opened to reveal a small, plump, shy-looking brunette.

"H-hello, have y-you seen a t-toad anywhere?" the boy asked tearfully.

"No, I have not," Hadrian stated blankly. "Have you asked a prefect?"

"N-no."

"Well, then, try that, I'm sure they can Summon him," Hadrian said calmly. "Hadrian Riddle," he offered.

"P-pleased to m-meet you, Heir Riddle," the boy offered. "I'm N-Neville L-Longbottom."

"Heir Prince, actually, Riddle doesn't have an heirship. Heir Longbottom," Hadrian acknowledged. "You're welcome to return here after you find your toad. I'm attempting to finish the school books before we get there."

"Thank you, Heir P-Prince," Neville said shyly. The door shut.

The boy had barely been gone for two minutes when the door slammed open, revealing a bushy-haired girl with buckteeth. "Have you seen a toad, Neville's lost one," she said haughtily.

"I have already suggested he ask a prefect, Miss," Hadrian said coldly. "And you have neglected to knock."

She huffed. "I don't see why I need-"

"Because it's polite," Hadrian suggested in a faintly sarcastic tone.

"Says the one who just interrupted me!" she shrieked.

"Goodbye," Hadrian said stiffly.

She snarled at him and slammed the door. A moment later, Neville's timid knock sounded.

"Enter," Hadrian said calmly. Neville came in, holding a toad.

"Miss G-Granger didn't look very h-happy, did she b-barge in on you, Heir P-Prince?" Neville questioned.

Hadrian smiled thinly. "Yes, and failed to apologize. I'm glad you found your toad, Heir Longbottom. You may call me Hadrian or Hade."

"Only if you c-call me N-Neville," the boy said with a slight smile. "May I b-borrow one of your b-books?"

"Yes, of course," Hadrian agreed. Neville picked the Herbology book. "You like Herbology?"

"I have a garden at home," Neville said quietly, eyes shining.

Hadrian smiled back and went back to his book.

Barely two minutes later, the door burst open again, and three boys stood there.

"This is our compartment now," said the blond boy haughtily.

"I don't see your name on it," Hadrian said with a faintly icy undertone.

"How dare you!" the boy raged, and the hulking boys behind him growled. "Do you know who I am?"

"I'm sure you'll tell us," Hadrian said flatly. He noticed Neville paling and shaking his head at him.

"Malfoy, Draco Malfoy," the boy said smugly.

"Riddle," Hadrian said softly, dangerously. "Hadrian Alaric Riddle."

Griphook had finally told Hadrian who Tom Marvolo Riddle had been, which made him laugh harder. No wonder Dumbledore would be horrified!

The three boys blanched. Hadrian's guess that the boys' parents followed Voldemort was correct.

"I'm sorry," Malfoy panicked, "it's your compartment, we'll go-" The door shut instantly, and he heard the boys fleeing down the hall.

Neville was staring at him in a kind of terrified awe. "Who... how..."

Hadrian smiled at him, his anger disappearing. "Don't worry about it, Neville."

"I d-don't think I want t-to know, anyway," he admitted, and Hadrian laughed.

--------

"Riddle, Hadrian." McGonagall's face was slightly paler than usual.

The staff's reaction -- and the Slytherins' -- was extremely amusing. Most gasped; several yelped; Snape's jaw dropped; Quirrell's eyes bulged out of his head; and Dumbledore almost fell out of his chair. Most of the students laughed at that, although they looked confused.

Hadrian just rolled his eyes regally, earning a giggle from Neville, who was sitting at the Hufflepuff table, and stalked up to the hat. McGonagall stared at him, and he smiled charmingly, making her blanch.

Oh, he was going to love going to this school.

He could hear the Sorting Hat dying when he put them on his head. When they finally got control of their laughter, they said breathlessly, Oh, I'm going to enjoy watching you, Harry Potter.

As long as you don't tell anyone about who I actually am, Hadrian bargained.

Oh, never, that would ruin the fun, they cackled. Let's see... too careful for Gryffindor... to distrusting for Hufflepuff... not studious enough for Ravenclaw... which leaves -- oh Merlin! The Hat burst out laughing again.

Which leaves Slytherin? What's funny about that? Hadrian questioned.

The Dark Lord was a shoe-in for Slytherin! The Hat cackled. Dumbledore's face-

It's already hilarious. Get on with it.

"SLYTHERIN!"

The Slytherin table instantly roared in glee and slammed their fists on the table. Dumbledore looked like he was going to faint. Quirrell looked unsurprised and panicked.

Hadrian smiled sweetly at Dumbledore, then handed the Hat to a shaking McGonagall and sauntered over to the Slytherin table, winking at Neville as he passed him. The boy burst into giggles.

This was definitely going to be fun.

Chapter Text

Short Side Chapter:

Meanwhile in the afterlife-

"What! You, Snivellous, and Voldemort! LILY! STOP LAUGHING! IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

Chapter Text

"Are you the Dark Lord's son?" Snape demanded in a strangled hiss.

"Who?" Hadrian frowned.

"Vol-" Snape flinched and grasped his arm. "Tom Marvolo Riddle."

"I have no idea," said Hadrian dryly. It was true: he didn't know whether Voldemort had a son or not. "I grew up with Muggles." He wrinkled his nose. "We didn't like each other very much. Why do you ask?"

Snape didn't answer. "Don't tell the rest of the House you grew up with Muggles."

Hadrian grinned. "I'll just let them think I'm the Dark Lord's heir. That will either get them off my back or ask me if I'm going to follow in his footsteps."

"I cannot tell whether you are actually considering that or not," Snape said slowly.

"Maybe I'll just pretend I am," Hadrian shrugged. "That will certainly freak people out."

"Do you enjoy messing with people, Riddle?" Snape asked tiredly. Hadrian grinned wickedly in answer. "I need a headache potion," Snape grumbled, leaving the common room.

Zabini hesitantly approached him. "What did Professor Snape want to talk to you about? Heir Riddle?"

"Heir Prince. Oh, he just asked who my parents were," Hadrian shrugged, making Zabini look both interested and panicky. "He was curious, you see; he's heard the name 'Riddle' before."

"Are you the Dark Lord's son, then?" Malfoy blurted from halfway across the common room.

"Malfoy, did the Hat want to sort you into Gryffindor?" Hadrian asked coldly. The room blanched.

"N-no!" Malfoy exclaimed. "I'm a Malfoy! I'm a true Slytherin!"

"Then don't blurt out questions like a lion, especially ones with obvious answers," Hadrian sneered.

"He is the Dark Lord's son!" Parkinson breathed.

"I'm going to bed," Hadrian announced. "If you have any questions, ask me tomorrow. I am very tired."

He started walking to the stairs, and Zabini followed. Hadrian raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm tired as well, Heir Prince," Zabini said innocently.

"Right." Hadrian found the first year room and was surprised to find that it was multiple rooms. He was sharing with Draco Malfoy. "Oh how wonderful."

"If you don't like rooming with the blond ponce, you can petition Professor Snape for a different roommate," Zabini offered. "Or... you could just stay in your father's old room."

Hadrian eyed him. "Explain."

Zabini smiled wider and led him down the hall.

It was a door the same color of the Killing Curse. The words Slytherin Heir were written on it in elegant silver cursive.

"I don't have to room with Heir Malfoy?" Hadrian asked in glee. He touched the doorknob, felt a brief flash of pain, and was able to open it.

"Huh," Zabini mused. "Well, that backfired." He didn't look in the least guilty, just curious.

"What... backfired?" Hadrian asked icily.

"You can lose the Dark Lord's heir mask," Zabini answered quietly. "I know you're not."

"How?"

"First, he wouldn't date a Muggleborn." Zabini raised a brow at Hadrian's elegant red hair. "And he would never be in a threesome. The Zabinis are the only ones who know who he was actually dating."

"Wait -- he was actually dating Professor Snape?" Hadrian laughed.

"How-"

"The goblins," Hadrian answered.

"How are you the heir, if you're not descended from the Dark Lord?" Zabini asked, rolling his eyes.

"Conquest." Zabini's eyes widened and he glanced at Hadrian's forehead. "Say a word and I'll tell everyone you insulted the Dark Lord's supposed heir. Goodnight." He disappeared into the room.

It was big and elegant, with the usual Slytherin colors, snake-covered bedspread, a bookshelf with books of questionable legality, and an armoire. Hadrian had only been in the room for a moment when his trunk, Snowy owl, and black viper appeared.

~Hatchling!~ the viper said quickly, slithering off the trunk. ~You're early!~

"~What did you do, Malum?~" Hadrian snickered, picking up the viper.

~Nothing!~

"~Really?~" Hadrian drawled, snickering.

~I may have done something to the bed,~ Malum admitted.

"~I hope you kept mine clean.~"

~Always hatchling!~ Malum said innocently. ~I would never prank you!~

"~Riiiiight.~"

-------

The Malfoy heir came shrieking down the stairs early that morning, shouting about snake poop.

"Ah, I apologize, Heir Malfoy, my snake took a disliking to you," Hadrian drawled in a fake apologetic tone.

Malum popped his head out from under Hadrian's robes and hissed at the blond, who blanched. ~Hatchling called?~

"~No, I didn't, Malum, but thank you for terrifying the brat for me,~" Hadrian said lazily.

The entire common room gasped. Zabini stared at him. Hadrian smirked faintly.

"You're a Parselmouth," Parkinson breathed.

Hadrian gave her a withering look. "I thought you were sorted into Slytherin, not Gryffindor, Miss Parkinson." Her older brother was the Heir, according to Griphook.

(The goblin wanted to help him sell his act as Voldemort's son, and so had told him everything about the Death Eaters and their kids.)

He heard Zabini choke back a laugh.

Parkinson sputtered indignantly.

"Pray my familiar doesn't take exception to you as well." To Malum he added, "~Think you can mess with her, too?~"

Malum bared his fangs, and Parkinson squeaked. ~It would be my greatest pleasure, Hatchling.~

"I assume you have questions," Hadrian said boredly. "Seventh years can speak to me today whenever they and I have free time. Sixth years, tomorrow, and so on. I will be very annoyed if you interrupt me when I am busy." He left the common room, calling behind him, "Zabini."

Zabini quickly followed. He noticed everyone exchanging glances behind them.

"You do know they assume I'm your first follower," Zabini said dryly.

"In which case, you should call me Hadrian," Hadrian said with a smirk, startling a laugh out of Zabini.

"You enjoy messing with people," Zabini noted.

"That I do." Hadrian grinned wickedly at him. "And considering you haven't told anyone who I am, you like messing with people, too."

"You really think I'd tell anyone after I saw Dumbledore's reaction?" Zabini said scathingly. "Anyway -- I want to help you 'mess with people.'"

"Of course, Heir Zabini," Hadrian said gleefully. "I was thinking of terrifying Dumbledore even more by pretending to build up an Inner Circle."

Zabini cackled. "Blaise is fine," he said breathlessly once he'd stopped laughing. "You should ask the Gryffindor Demon Twins to join."

Hadrian jerked his head around, eyes glittering. "'Demon Twins?'"

--------

"Why did no one know about you?"

"Did you really think the Dark Lord would allow his heir to be found by Dumbledore? I was raised in secret."

--------

His first week of classes was... interesting.

The teachers who knew who Voldemort really was -- most of them, thanks to Dumbledore -- were terrified of him, and spent a majority of the class watching them out of the corner of their eye and jumping at every tiny noise. (Hadrian may or may not have purposefully squeaked his chair several times.)

The rest of them (Sinistra and Sprout) may not have known that he was (pretending) to be Voldemort's heir, but they knew that the other staff members were wary of him, and so they watched him, too.

Binns, of course, was too out of it to actually realize that Hadrian was Voldemort's (fake) heir, but Hadrian barely paid attention in that class anyway.

Quirrell was the only one who didn't react the same way as the other teachers. He certainly watched Hadrian, but his eyes were thoughtful, shocked, and curious rather than wary.

It was only when Hadrian noticed the man's eyes flash red that he knew something was up.

He told Blaise to wait for him outside the classroom and make sure no one listened in. His friend obeyed, and Hadrian went up to the teacher.

"M-M-M-Mr. R-R-R-Riddle?" Quirrell stammered. "Is th-there s-s-something y-you need?"

"~Voldemort?~" Hadrian hissed out.

Quirrell's eyes widened, and then a hoarse, tired voice replied -- and it was coming from the back of Quirrell's head. "~You're not my son, are you.~"

"~No. I apologize for using your moniker, but i didn't want to come as my real self.~" Hadrian grinned. "~And I enjoy messing with people. Do you know how many people are freaking out that you have an heir?~"

Voldemort laughed hoarsely. "~Yes. Dumbledore's reaction was particularly amusing.~"

"~Do I have permission to continue using your name?~"

"~As long as you tell Severus I didn't cheat on him,~" Voldemort said quietly.

"~I don't think he remembers,~" Hadrian said after a pause. "~When he asked me if I was your son earlier, he didn't look upset, he looked scared.~"

"My Lord?" Quirrell asked warily.

"I am having a conversation with my son, Quirrell. Kindly shut up," Voldemort said coldly. Quirrell blanched and silenced.

"~You don't want to tell Squirrel that I'm not you're kid?~" Hadrian asked, sniggering.

Voldemort laughed again. "~No, the man is an idiot. I am only using him to return to my body.~"

"~Need any help with that?~" Hadrian asked innocently.

"~No, I know better than to accept help from someone who enjoys messing with people,~" Voldemort drawled. "~You only offered to make Dumbledore panic, anyway.~"

"~He has such a delicious reaction to all my lies,~" Hadrian cackled.

"~Who are you, anyway?~" Voldemort asked.

Hadrian smirked. "~The kid you tried to kill.~"

"~POTTER?~" Voldemort exclaimed. Hadrian cackled again. "~Merlin, you are just like your father.~"

"~I don't bully,~" Hadrian said indignantly. "~I cause panic and fear, not embarrassment and pain.~"

"~Good,~" Voldemort said flatly. "~Now, I want to hear all your little pranks on Dumbledore.~"

Hadrian grinned. "~Well of course. I'm thinking of pretending to build up an Inner Circle. It will have people from all four Houses....~"

Chapter Text

Short Side Chapter:

Dumbledore was panicking.

"What's the matter old man?" Alastair asked innocently. "In over your head?"

"Shut up," Dumbledore snapped.

"My my, loosing your temper, the child must be getting on your nerves."

"SHUT UP!"

His plans were blowing up. Almost literally, if the boy recruited Fred and George Weasley for his Inner Circle!

Voldemort had an Heir! And his weapon was missing!

Dumbledore was panicking. And the Sorting Hat was loving it.

(So was Fawkes, but he was quiet about it.)

Chapter Text

Dear Mr. Riddle,

If it isn't too much to ask, I would like to meet with you. It's nothing bad, I would just like to know how well you're settling in here.

I will see you after Potions, if you accept my invitation. I enjoy Lemon Drops.

Yours Sincerely,

Headmaster Albus Percival Wolfric Brian Dumbledore

Order of Merlin, First class; Grand Sorc.; Chf. Warlock; Supreme Mugwump; International Confed. of Wizards

A dark smile grew on Hadrian's lips.

"What did you do?" Blaise asked abruptly, as worried whispers spread through the Slytherins.

"Do? Oh, nothing," Hadrian said innocently. "The Headmaster just sent me a letter. He wants to see how well I'm getting on."

"You're getting on too well," Blaise deadpanned, earning a snicker from Theodore Nott, Tracey Davis, and Winter Shacklebolt. From further down the table, Malfoy scowled. Hadrian still wouldn't even give him the time of day.

"Oh, no, I'm just doing as well as everyone else," Hadrian shrugged. Win raised an incredulous brow. "Oh, don't look at me like that, Winter."

"Don't blow anything up," Blaise sighed dramatically, causing more snickers from Hadrian's growing "Inner Circle."

"Have you no faith in me, Blaise?" Hadrian drawled. "I can keep on a mask of an eager, polite student for the Headmaster."

Winter snorted. "We're not worried about that, Hadrian," he said dryly. "We're just worried he'll expel you."

"Whatever for?" Hadrian asked innocently.

"Well, I don't know, maybe because you're his son," Winter pointed out sarcastically.

"Shh!" Blaise hissed at him. "If you can't keep quiet, go back to the Ravenclaw table."

"Make me, Zabini."

Blaise gave him a flat look. "We are eleven."

"And engaged," Winter reminded.

"Still eleven."

"Engaged?" Hadrian asked dryly. "You certainly kept that a secret."

"Sorry," Winter said, entirely unapologetically.

"Mother doesn't care who I'm engaged to as long as they're powerful and at least a halfblood," Blaise snorted. "I didn't think she'd pick this annoying shifter."

Hadrian rolled his eyes. Blaise was very fond of the genderfluid Ravenclaw, no matter what he said.

"I will hex you," Winter said offhandedly, downing a potion. His body flickered for a moment before it turned into a girl's. When Winter spoke again, her voice was higher. "You'd better leave if you're going to make it to Professor Snape's class on time."

As one, Hadrian and his friends, minus Winter, rose elegantly from the table. The other Slytherins quickly stood as well, not returning to their seats until Hadrian had left.

They were instantly accosted by the Gryffindor Demon Twins.

"Hello-"

"-little-"

"-snakes!"

"Demons," Hadrian said dryly. The twins grinned wider. "Are we still on for our appointment after dinner?"

"Totally," said Fred (who had introduced himself as George).

"Looking forward to it," George added (having introduced himself as Fred).

"Why are you talking to the snakes!" the twins' little brother yelled.

"Because they're better-"

"-company than you, Ronnikins," the twins answered innocently. Hadrian and his friends laughed and walked down the dungeons, hearing Ronald's angry shout behind them.

Several first year Gryffindors were already waiting for them. Granger gave Hadrian an angry look and turned away. Hadrian was pleased to note that she was apart from the other Gryffindors. They couldn't abide her stuffy attitude, either.

The other first-year Slytherins arrived, followed by Ronald, Finnigan, and Thomas. They sneered at Hadrian but backed off when Blaise's gaze grew cold. Blaise could be absolutely terrifying.

--------

Dumbledore smiled benignly down at Hadrian, who had a charming smile fixed on his face. The Headmaster's eyes were sparkling, but Hadrian could see past it.

Dumbledore almost hysterical with panic.

"Forgive me, Mr. Riddle, I'm a little confused," Dumbledore began.

"About what, sir?" Hadrian asked suavely. He thought he heard the Sorting Hat choke off a laugh.

"I didn't see your name on the list of new students," Dumbledore answered, his smile widening.

"Ah, the Ministry didn't want my name on there," Hadrian lied. "I was raised in secret, because they didn't want people using me."

Dumbledore's eyes widened. "So you are truly Voldemort's son?"

"That's what my Blood Test said," Hadrian said lazily. He enjoyed the horror growing behind Dumbledore's mask of warm grandfatherliness. "I know nothing about him, and I have never met him."

"So we do not have to worry about another Dark Lord?" Dumbledore asked merrily.

Hadrian gasped. "Why, Professor, I would never do that. I am but a student! I want to learn, not lead. Besides, it would be far too much paperwork," he joked.

Dumbledore laughed slightly nervously. "Most of my staff believe you are building an Inner Circle. You already have a clever Ravenclaw and two inventive Gryffindors as your friends, and you have been seen speaking to the most popular, powerful Hufflepuff."

Hadrian beamed. "I could hardly let Blaise go without his Winter, given they have an arranged marriage; Fred and George are hilarious, but I have barely spent two minutes with them; and I assume you are talking about Cedric Diggory? He is merely teaching me about Ancient Runes, I subject I have recently become interested in. I assure you I am not going to be a Dark Lord, Headmaster."

"Good," Dumbledore said in obvious relief. "And how are you doing in Slytherin, Mr. Riddle?"

-------

"~You recruited the Demons?~" Voldemort complained. "~They're Weasleys! They're blood traitors!~"

"~They're Darker than a lot of Slytherins and enjoyed Dumbledore's expression when McGonagall announced my name,~" Hadrian drawled. "~They don't know I'm Harry Potter. Yet. They're smart enough to figure it out sooner or later.~"

"~Who else knows you're Harry Potter?~" Voldemort sighed.

"~Blaise Zabini and Winter Shacklebolt,~" Hadrian answered. "~Oh, and the Sorting Hat.~"

Voldemort snorted. "~Yes, of course Alistair knows. You should ask them for Inner Circle members and people to help with your real plan.~"

"~Good idea,~" Hadrian said in glee. "~What about Professor Snape?~"

A flicker of pain flashed through the man's slitted eyes. "~You're right, he doesn't remember. He's been Obliviated.~"

"~I'll have him go to Gringotts for a checkup, then,~" Hadrian decided.

"~Thank you, Potter,~" Voldemort said quietly.

Hadrian nodded. "~You can call me Harry. We're partners now. Work partners!~" he added quickly when Voldemort gave him a horrified look. "~Merlin, I am eleven, and you're married!~"

Voldemort shuddered. "~Never put that image in my head again, Harry.~"

"~I didn't! You did it first!~"

"~It was your fault!~"

"~Was not!~"

"~It most certainly was!~"

"~You know it doesn't matter how many big words you use, Tommy, you sound like a child.~"

"~POTTER!~"

Chapter Text

Dear Griphook,

I am having a wonderful time at school. I apologize for not writing you earlier, I was having too much fun.

Here is the gift I promised you, as well as more.

Sincerely,

H.

Griphook fell out of the Pensive, dying with laughter.

"What are you laughing about?" his mate demanded.

"Watch -- for -- yourself!"

Blackfang rolled his eyes and delved into the Pensive. He emerged, looking exasperated.

"You are insane, dear."

Griphook couldn't respond, because he was still cackling.

-------

Dear Lord Malum,

We accept your offer of an alliance. We enjoyed the gift you sent us, as well. My mate will still not stop laughing.

If he does not go back to work in ten minutes it is entirely your fault.

Regards,

King Blackfang of the Goblin Nation

Head of Gringotts Bank

Chapter Text

Hadrian sent his first year Slytherin friends -- of which he'd now added Millicent Bullstrode, Jacob Mark, and Rosa Gonzolas -- out of the Potions classroom and walked up to Professor Snape.

The man paled a little. "What do you need, Riddle?"

"A trip to Gringotts," Hadrian answered. "The goblins have informed me that someone has been stealing from my vaults." His expression soured.

Severus' eyes widened in alarm. "We can go after dinner."

"Excellent, thank you, Professor," Hadrian smirked. "I will meet you at the entrance hall." He waited for Severus to nod and left.

"Someone's been stealing from your vaults?" Jacob sputtered when he emerged.

"Who broke my Silencing Charms?" Hadrian sighed. Blaise raised a hand, looking entirely unapologetic. "I may need that particular talent later, Blaise. Just don't do it with my private conversations anymore."

"Yes, Hadrian," Blaise drawled.

"Library?" Millicent sighed, exchanging amused and exasperated looks with Rosa and Tracey.

"It'll be easier to get my Transfiguration essay done," Jacob agreed.

"Help him with that, would you, Theodore?" Hadrian suggested, leading them down the hall. "You're very good at Transfiguration."

Theo flushed in pleasure. "Yes, Hadrian."

"Hadrikins!"

Hadrian jumped and glared fondly at the twins, who had startled most of his "Inner Circle" as well. "I told you not to sneak up on me."

Fred and George grinned. "Sorry Hadrikins," they offered, entirely unapologetically.

Hadrian waved them off. "What do you want?"

"Permission to prank someone," Fred said, predictably.

"Depends who it is," Hadrian hummed, eyes sparkling a little.

"Ronnikins," George said. "Oh, and little dragon."

Hadrian laughed. "Heir Malfoy hates that nickname, you know."

"Oh really?" Fred asked faux innocently.

"We had no idea," George said sarcastically.

"Permission granted. Make sure your brother's prank can't be traced back to you," Hadrian instructed.

"Yes-"

"-Hadrikins."

With that, the twins literally disappeared.

Blaise barked a laugh. "You might accidentally start a prank war, allowing the Demons to prank whoever they want."

Hadrian gave him an interested look, and his friends snickered. "Prank war?"

--------

The twins did, indeed, end up starting a prank war (which definitely wasn't Hadrian's plan the entire time, of course not), which gave Hadrian and Severus the distraction they needed to leave without being noticed by Dumbledore.

When they arrived, the goblin at the door bowed slightly to Hadrian.

"Mr. Riddle?" Severus questioned warily.

"I earned the goblin nation's allegiance, entirely accidentally," Hadrian explained.

"How?"

"He sent us memories," a familiar voice answered.

Hadrian grinned at Griphook. "Your mate said you enjoyed them."

"According to Blackthorn, entirely too much," Griphook said dryly, grinning back. "Thank you for your gracious gift, Lord Malum."

"You're ever so welcome," Hadrian smirked.

"I don't want to know," Severus decided, making Griphook and Hadrian laugh.

"This way," Griphook said, leading them to the back. "Blackthorn is waiting for you."

Blackthorn's office was much bigger than Griphook's, with elegant bookshelves, several stacks of paperwork, and an elegant desk made from black wood.

"Hello, Your Majesty," Hadrian said with a toothy grin, bowing to the goblin behind the desk.

"Brat," Blackthorn returned, only faintly affectionately. Severus' eyes widened. "Do you know how long it took to get my husband to stop laughing and get back to work?"

"I apologize," Hadrian answered unapologetically.

Blackthorn rolled his eyes. "Sit down, both of you. Griphook, get over here," he barked.

"Yes, my king," Griphook answered, smirking a little as he stalked over. Hadrian snickered when Severus' quickly turned his head away.

"Stop flirting in front of guests," Blackthorn snapped, although his eyes darkened a little. Griphook exchanged smirks with Hadrian before sitting down in the chair next to Blackthorn's.

"You sent me a letter that said someone has been stealing from my vaults," Hadrian said, getting to business.

"Yes," Blackthorn agreed, pulling a golden parchment from the desk and a needle. "We also have business to discuss, Lord Prince."

Severus frowned. "I was disowned."

"I don't know who told you that, Lord Prince, but they were misinformed," Blackthorn said calmly, pulling another needle and a silver piece of parchment from the desk. "Three drops of blood," he ordered them both.

Hadrian pricked his finger and let three drops of the dark liquid fall onto his paper, but didn't read it yet.

Words appeared on Severus' paper:

Blood Test for Severus Tobias Riddle-Prince:

Mother: Eileen Snape Née Prince (deceased)

Father: Tobias Snape (deceased)

Husband: Tom Marvolo Riddle (barely living)

Godparent(s): None

Lord to:

   Prince

   Ravenclaw (through Prince)

Heir to:

   None

Caution: Blocks, compulsions, Obliviations, and potions detected.

"Wh-what?" Severus sputtered. "I'm married to the Dark Lord? Obliviations?"

"Oh dear," Blackthorn said, "we should get those removed." He pushed a piece of green parchment towards him.

Severus frowned and looked up at the goblin. "You knew about them."

"We didn't," Griphook corrected. "Your husband is possessing one of the teachers at Hogwarts, and he realized that you did not remember him."

"So Hadrian is not our son," Severus said quietly, pulling the green paper towards him.

Griphook smiled toothily, and Hadrian snorted. "He is not."

"Then who-"

Hadrian removed the glamour and grinned lazily at the suddenly gaping Severus Riddle-Prince. "Hello," he drawled.

Griphook burst out laughing and fell off of his chair.

----------

Magical Aura Test for S. T. R.-P.:

Magic: Dark

Level: Merlin (50% blocked, A. P. W. B. D.)

Abilities: Potions, Alchemy (100% blocked, A. P. W. B. D), Spell Creation

Animagus: Black Wolf (100% blocked, A. P. W. B. D.)

Creature: none

Soulmate: Tom Marvolo Riddle (100% blocked, A. P. W. B. D.)

Compulsions:

    Hate Harry James Potter; Hate Tom Marvolo Riddle; Hate Gryffindors; Hate James Fleamont Potter; Obey Albus Percival Wolfric Brian Dumbledore; Hate Remus John Lupin; Hate Sirius Orion Black

Potions:

    Obliviscatur Amans (Forget Lover) (keyed to A. P. W. B. D.)

Other:

    Memory Adjustments (keyed to memories of Lily Potter Née Evans)

    Memory Adjustments (keyed to memories of Tom Marvolo Riddle)

    Obliviations (keyed to memories of James Fleamont Potter)

    Dark Mark (keyed to Tom Marvolo Riddle; 20% block keyed to A. P. W. B. D. [make mark burn when Voldemort's name is spoken and when summoned])

    Unbreakable Vow (protect Lily's boy) (made to A. P. W. B. D.; witnessed by Kingsley Shacklebolt)

Chapter Text

Three months previously...

"Brats... mongrels... DEMONS..." Filch grumbled under his breath. Fred and George exchanged hidden smirks and went back to writing their lines.

About two minutes into their detention, there came a loud BANG! from above Filch's office.

"PEEVES!" the man yelled gleefully. "I'll have you this time!" And ran out of the room.

Fred and George high-fived. "Good ole Peeves," George grinned.

"Right," said Fred, "let's see what we can grab before he comes back."

George kept an eye on the hallway while Fred picked the lock on one of the drawers.

A few minutes later, Fred was empty-handed.

"There's nothing that can help us and Hadrikins!" he complained.

"Better hurry," George warned. "He'll be back any minute."

Fred sighed irritably and opened the last drawer in the cabinet. His eyes landed on an old piece of parchment, lying on top of a few other confiscated items.

"Gred, why would the old git have an old piece of parchment in here?" Fred asked.

"Dunno, Forge, but it must be dangerous, otherwise why would he have taken it?" George pointed out. He yelped. "Freddy, just grab whatever! He's coming back!"

Fred snatched the paper, shut the drawer, and sat down, along with his twin, just as Filch barged back into the room, scowling and muttering about stupid poltergeists.

"Back to work, brats!"

-------

It took three months to figure out how the parchment worked. Fred and George had tried so many things. Eventually they started throwing insults at it, which resulted in four people -- Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs -- insulting them back in four different types of handwriting.

The four creators of the parchment were also pranksters, known as the Marauders. Prongs, the obvious ringleader, was dramatic, reckless and smart. Padfoot appeared to be his second, and was the sneaky, cunning one, and came up with the most dangerous pranks. Moony was the smartest of the four and also appeared to be the one keeping them out of trouble. Wormtail -- well, to be honest, Fred and George couldn't figure out Wormtail's personality. He was a complete idiot. Why the h*ll were the other Marauders friends with him anyway?

They eventually figured out the password to open the parchment -- "I/we solemnly swear that I am/we are up to no good."

It was a map of Hogwarts. A map that showed everyone and where they were in the castle.

"Freddy," George said slowly, a slow grin appearing on his face.

"Yeah, Georgey?"

"What's this I spy?"

Fred followed George's finger and saw that it was pointing at the Slytherin dorm rooms. Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott, and...

Harry Potter.

Chapter Text

It was Christmas morning. Hadrian hadn't been expecting any presents, given that he had never had any before. So he was pleasantly surprised to find a rather large pile of presents on the end of his bed.

~Happy Crustmas, hatchling!~ Malum hissed happily, making Hadrian jump. The snake slid on top of his bed and dropped a dead rat on his lap. ~I have brought you a present.~

"~Uh... thank you, Malum,~" Hadrian said carefully. He frowned at the rat for a minute and then flicked his wand at it. It turned into a wooden carving of a rat.

~Hatchling?~ Malum frowned.

"~Humans can't enjoy dead things like snakes can,~" Hadrian explained, putting the wooden rat on his dresser. "~I appreciate the thought, Malum, but the dead rat would make me sick. And the smell is horrendous. So, I turned it into something I could enjoy.~"

The black viper stared at him for a moment, then nodded. ~I am going to mess with the pug girl.~ He slithered out of the room without another word.

Hadrian rolled his eyes fondly and started on his presents.

Shadow Magic, by Unknown, and a ritual dagger from Blaise (along with a note that said This is extremely illegal in Britain, so be careful not to show anyone.)

Yule and Other Holidays, by Rudolphus Black, from Winter

1001 Pranks, Wizarding and Muggle, by Malum and Mahemio, from Fred and George (apparently it had been written by the Demon twins' uncles, Fabian and Gideon Prewett.)

A wand holster from Theo

Hair products from Millicent, Rosa, and Tracey

A few books on Dark magic from Jacob

A few books on Runes from Cedric

A Pyromaniac Kit from Seamus and Dean

A book on Herbology from Neville

Several random but expensive gifts from the Death Eater children, trying to earn Hadrian's favor

And several more from the Death Eaters themselves -- at least, the ones that weren't in Azkaban.

He had saved the biggest present, a huge box with the Gringotts symbol on the lid, for last. Hadrian picked up the scroll that was on top.

Dear Lord Malum,

We discovered that several of your belongings had been stolen by Dumbledore and his Order, as well as from Bellatrix Lestrange, surprisingly, so we are returning your property to you.

1 Death's Cloak

1 sword of Gryffindor

1 cup belonging to Hufflepuff

26 books from the library of Merlin

24 books from the library of Gryffindor

25 books from the library of Hufflepuff

2 jade serpent earrings

1 snake bracelet containing protective charms

1 Journal written by Gryffindor

2 Journals written by Hufflepuff

7 Journals written by Merlin

1 Letter belonging to the Heir of Slytherin

   -This letter is passed down to each Heir. The previous heir never read it as Dumbledore kept it from him. Be sure to show V, would you?

1 Dark Staff

1 Dark Lord's Guide, by Emrys Merlin-Pendragon

Regards,

King Blackfang of the Goblin Nation

Head of Gringotts Bank

Chapter Text

Dumbledore scowled down at the paper. It was supposed to show the location of Harry Potter. However, all it said was Location unknown.

Well, at least it didn't say No location, because that would mean Harry Potter was dead.

Dumbledore pinched his nose. It was time to use a... Darker way of finding Harry Potter.

-------

"Hadrikins, can we talk to you?"

Hadrian turned and found Fred and George being him. They looked rather serious.

"All right," Hadrian agreed. "Why don't you head to Charms?" he suggested to the others. "We'll see you in Transfiguration," he added to Neville.

Neville and the Slytherins left the library, casting the twins nervous and curious looks. The two Gryffindors sat down and cast privacy wards. Hadrian cast some as well, realizing this was important.

"In September," Fred began, "we got detention with Flich."

"We wanted to look through his office for anything that might help you and your cause," George continued.

"Peeves -- quite ironically," Fred added innocently, causing Hadrian to smirk, "interrupted our detention by dropping a cabinet directly above Filch's office."

"We took the ten minutes he was gone searching through his filing cabinets," George drawled.

Fred pulled an old piece of parchment from his pocket. "All we found was this."

The duo tapped their wands on the parchment and chorused, "We solemnly swear that we are up to no good."

Lines began appearing on the parchment, and words began writing themselves at the top of the paper.

Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs are proud to present the Marauders Map.

A map, Hadrian realized. A map of...

"Hogwarts?" he whispered in glee. The twins smirked. Hadrian looked closer and was even more delighted when he realized that the map showed everyone and where they were. "This is brilliant. Well done, demons."

"It took us a few months to figure out how it worked-" Fred said.

"-which was why we didn't tell you earlier," George added.

"When we did, we discovered two things."

"Do you want the bad news, or the surprise?"

"The surprise?" Hadrian echoed.

Fred and George smirked and opened up the map further. George pointed at the library. "Notice anything, Hadrikins?"

Hadrian followed his finger to one of the tables, where three people were sitting: Fred Weasley, George Weasley, and Harry Potter.

"I knew you would figure it out eventually," Hadrian said, raising a brow at the twins, who were grinning. "What are you going to do about it?"

"What do you mean?" George asked.

Hadrian's voice took on a slightly menacing note. "Because if you tell anyone, I will be severely disappointed... and you will know what it means to anger a Dark Lord."

The twins shuddered, looking surprised and slightly shocked. Fred and George looked at each other for a long moment.

Finally, Fred said, "We won't betray you... my Lord."

"We like following you," George added.

Hadrian beamed, startling them. "Excellent! Now, what's the bad news?"

The twins immediately pulled the map towards them and searched it for a minute, then returned the map to Hadrian and pointed at the Gryffindor common room.

There were only a few people there, given that class started in five minutes, but Hadrian was more interested in the four people by the fireplace.

Ronald Weasley, Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas, and...

Peter Pettigrew.