Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He had to do this.

He had to do this for the sake of hope. Hope, the only thing he has to cling onto anymore. If not for hope than for what? What has he been wasting his entire life doing? If not for hope he wouldn't be here at this very moment. Perhaps he would have done this a long time ago. To think that he was this incredibly lucky, to have the opportunity to admire pure hope in action, that he could inspire others with his own hope. He was so foolish. So very foolish. To think that he could have it as simple as that. He knew something would happen. Something always does. To think he could see the symbols of hope combat the despair they were all forced upon, with no consequences? No, it's never that simple. To learn that himself along with the rest of his class were the worst of the worst. Remnants of despair, forcing evil nature upon the rest of the world for the sake of despair instead of hope? To learn that he was the very thing he had spent his entire life fighting against and despising. It was so disgusting. So very disgusting. He couldn't live with himself, knowing the awful things him and his classmates had done. They had to be punished, he had to be punished. No one in this world can be free of consequences. So he continued setting up his own murder.

He knotted the rope around his wrist tightly. One, two, three knots as tight as his sickly arms could tie them. He leaned his head back in exhaust, he was already tired but alas, his plan was far from over. He continued tying his legs the same as he had done his hand, making sure each rope was knotted as tight as could be to ensure they wouldn't come undone in a few moments. He sighed to himself. Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn't he have it good for once? He wasn't allowed to. He didn't deserve to be happy, or to see ultimate hope in person. He's selfish, to think he could be a stepping stone for hope. He couldn't even do that, he failed miserably. He fails at everything he does. He was not going to fail this time, this was going to work one way or another. His last chance, his last chance to become true hope, and he was not going to screw it up.

He felt a mix of emotions for the first time. He was really going to do this. He was going to end it one and for all, but at what cost? He wishes he could have had a better impression on his classmates. He wishes he could have had a friendship (?) with Hinata-kun. How he longed to have had to have him to himself for a day. To talk about things that didn't matter, to share his feelings with another and just relish in each other's presence. He wishes he could have been normal for one moment. Just one, and then he would push him away. Though this wasn't the time to think about those things. Why does he even care about him? He's just some lowly, average, high school student. A talentless boy with hopeless dreams to stand out. To be noticed by others and to have others like him. Such silly goals, no ordinary person like him should even as dare as hope to be on the same level as the Ultimate Students. But Komaeda feels a connection to him, one that he has never had before, a longing to be with him always, and to have his attention to himself only. Such pathetic things to wish for. 

As he thinks about his former friends and his near demise a tear runs down his face. He wishes he could have had a short moment of feeling joy. Just one was enough, he wishes for many things that he never got to fulfill, and never will.

 He grabs the hunting blade he had acquired not too long ago. He holds his breath, one, two, three. He plunges the weapon into his thigh forcing a muffled scream behind his taped mouth, he feels his flesh being torn as he pushes the blade deeper into his leg. He brings his arm up and continues slamming it into his skin, over, and over, and over again. Hot flashes of pain searing through his open wounds as he attempts to keep his strength remaining. He switches between each leg, heaving deep breaths as the blade continues to plunge into his flesh, with a grunt of pain behind each newly opened wound. He slams his head back onto the concrete, panting heavily through his nose, attempting to catch his breath and ignoring the stabbing pain in each of his legs. After a few moments of collecting his breath he shakily raised his hand. Preparing to slam it down again he takes several deep breaths. He closes his eyes and lets his arm forcefully drop into the skin of his upper arm. Clenching his eyes closed tighter and struggling to withhold a scream as he continued stabbing his arm, feeling the blood soak through his sleeve. After a few more moments of these repeated motions, he decided that was good enough. He wanted to just get this over with. The pain is unbearable but he has to bear it. He still has a bit left to go, he rests for a few moments before continuing.

Not much longer and it will all be over. Komaeda sets up the Monokuma plushie and prompts the hunting knife upon it. He prepares himself for a moment before slamming his hand upon the top of the blade. Pain sears through his hand as he squeezes shut his eyes and stifles a pained scream. He throws his head against the floor and resists the urge to kick his legs in pain. He attempted to compose himself, failing miserably as the pain throughout his body worsened. At least he had been done for the most part, all he had left to do was wait. Wait and wait. He had been so exhausted. So very exhausted, the pain that had spread to his entire body was the worst pain he had felt in his entire life. He watched as the lighter lit aflame the curtain he was currently hiding behind. Soon it was going to be over, soon everyone would come running in and unknowingly fall right into his plan. Everything had been leading up to this moment. 

Suddenly he heard a loud bang, he resisted the urge to attempt to look past the curtain. He heard loud shouts and panicked footsteps, as the fire had spread to the rest of the warehouse, the flames bright and hot against his skin, a little too close to comfort. He witnessed the wood around him starting to wither and crumble. He silently hurries his classmates to put out the fire surrounding him. Suddenly he hears more shouting as the sound of glass shattering and the smell of smoke engulfed him. This is it. It's all about to end. In just a few moments everything would be over, everything he worked so hard for, everything he fought for just for his own beliefs were about to come to an end. He smells the poison as he starts to inhale it through his nose. Struggling to hold onto consciousness, he feels the grip of the spear in his hand begin to loosen as he struggles to breathe. This is the end.

"Goodbye Hinata-kun. I wish things could have been different, but this is how it had to be."  Is his last thought as the handle of the spear falls from his grip, speedily plummeting closer and closer until he feels it plunge into the center of his stomach. He didn’t even register the pain, eyes snapping wide open as he fell into a deep sleep he wouldn’t wake up from.

Chapter Text

It hurts.

It hurts so bad. Why is everything so painful? He saw white flash behind his eyelids. He could make out sounds blurring around him in what seemed like panicked voices. His head is too heavy to move, instead he made a pained expression as he felt something start prodding his chest. More voices surrounding him everywhere like a storm, overwhelming him. Something slips under his head and slowly starts lifting it up. In a quick panic he opens his eyes, temporarily stunned by the awful lights burning into his irises. Everything is so white, it's almost as if he had just woken up in heaven. He realizes there's something leaning over him as his sight refocuses. 

" K-Komaeda! Can you hear me? " The voice belonging to the person above him says, the sound coming a bit too harshly to his ears, Komaeda looks away attempting to take in his surroundings, not processing the stranger's question. He looks around the area he's awoken to, there's a counter across the room lined with cabinets, and a sink with familiar looking tools lined across a wheeled table. The walls and floor around him are a bright shade of white, looking like something unreal, as if this was something too strange to be in reality. To his left there are what look to be IV poles and a.. heart monitor. Slowly putting the pieces together he looks to his left to see a wheeled table with an arrangement of flowers and what seemed to be several capsules of medication. Also thrown upon the table were several used tissues, certainly not used by him. He hears a voice again, remembering the stranger that was above him he looks up at the figure in confusion.

He was met with short, choppy, brown locks, tanned skin with freckles and moles seeming to cover every inch of the person. A studded earring planted into the left ear, along with a couple of various face piercings punched into the skin. Chapped lips frowned into a concerned expression, eyebrows raised in worry. As Komaeda finally reaches to make eye contact with the stranger, he is met with one starry green eye, that he thinks he could get lost in for hours. Along with an intimidating crimson eye, one glance could kill. Komaedas eyes widened, he scrambled to realize Kamukura(?) was currently holding his head in one hand, while his other hand was resting upon Komaeda's forearm, as if he had been longing for touch from someone for a Long time. Is he in a hospital? Is this a dream? What had happened? Why couldn't he remember anything? Komaeda starts to breathe heavily, raising his arms in an attempt to grab his hair in confusion.

"Hey, Hey can you hear me? Komaeda, can you answer me please?" Hinata-kun(?) gently grabs Komaeda's arms and places them by his sides to avoid his attempt in pulling at his hair. Someone willing to touch me? Why isn't he disgusted? I'm tainting him with my disgusting skin. Komaeda curses himself in his head. He slowly pulls his arms away and looks up at this familiar stranger, lost in thought for a few moments before speaking.

"Kamuku- No, ..Hinata-kun?" The boy finally says making eye contact with his old classmate. Hinata's face softens slightly, he leans back in his chair.

"Sort of, it's a Long story that I can explain some other time." The brunette says looking away sheepishly. "..But to make it short for the time being, Yes and no, I'm Hinata but I'm also Kamukura." He speaks in a gentle voice, lowering his head slightly towards the end of his sentence. Komaeda makes a noise of satisfaction and looks away thinking to himself for a moment. Why am I here? Why is Hinata-kun willingly interacting with me? Am i in a hospital? I'm so confused. Komaeda sighs in frustration. Movement grabs his attention, he looks up towards the door in the corner of the room, his eyes brought to the square window upon the door. Upon examining the contents behind the window he sees several people standing together in what seems to be the hallway through the glass. Hinata notices his eye and looks toward the door as well.

 " Oh I see what you're looking at." Hinata says. Komaeda turns to him in confusion. " Uh, when we were alerted you had started waking up, Soda, Kuzuryu, Tsumiki, and I had been nearby and arrived to help." Hinata says, moving his hands slightly as he explained. Why do those names sound familiar? Do I know all these people?  Komaeda thought to himself in confusion. As Hinata had just finished his sentence the door had burst open loudly, making Komaeda jump as Hinata sighed in annoyance. 

"What the fuck is taking you so Long? Is he awake?" An angry voice filled the room, with a slight hint of worry.

A short man had walked in, with a blonde buzz cut with some type of design shaved into the side of his head. He was wearing a black eye patch over his left eye and he has various small scars littered across his face. He looked as though he had gone into a war at one point. He didn't look to be very old, perhaps in his early to mid twenties, although he looked tired. Permanent eyebags burrowed into his skin, his hair looked slightly messy, and his posture slouched.

"A-ah, Kuzuryu! Maybe we should just wait, he might not be ready yet!" A small timid voice said from behind the door.

A woman had stumbled in behind him, appearing anxious like she was afraid to say the wrong thing. She had short purple hair, which seemed to be styled into a pixie cut of some sort. She appeared to be wearing a nurse apron, as though she had been in the hospital prior to everyone else. She had nervous mannerisms, a bit more lively than the blonde beside her, but she too also seemed very tired. Like she hasn't gotten a good night's sleep in years.

Both of these people seemed very familiar to the white haired boy, he couldn't remember who they were but he knew that he must've had some type of history with him. He wants to attempt to recall any memories that will help him understand who these people are and where he is, but he decides against it, as he registers the constant pounding of a headache he's had since he woke up. He winces slightly at the sudden pain and raises his hand to his forehead in an attempt to make the pain ease. 

The woman with the purple hair, notices his pain and quickly rushes towards him. "Komaeda are you okay? How are you feeling?"

She takes a stethoscope from the table beside him and starts gently pressing it upon his chest, listening intently for his heartbeat. Her hands are working steadily, any sign of her nervous attitude from before had vanished as she was completely focused into monitoring his current state .She checks his pulse a few times after putting away the stethoscope she had been using a few seconds prior, continuing on to checking his vitals and various other things. 

"It hurts." Is all Komaeda can muster out.

After getting over the shock and confusion of waking up he notices that his body feels like it is on fire. His throat is extremely dry and scratchy, as if he hadn't spoken in quite a Long time. His body felt too heavy, him only being able to manage making small movements every now and then. His breathing was very slow, he felt like no oxygen had passed through him in decades. He was extremely tired, his eyelids slightly drooping, tempting him to fall back into a deep sleep at any moment. He didn't feel real, none of this felt real, but it also did in a way. The way he could feel the woman's hand touching various parts of his body, feeling for any sign of pain or abnormality. The way he could smell the scent of the ocean seeping in through the open window. The way he could feel his heart slowly beating against his chest. It all felt too real but too dream-like at the same time. He wouldn't be able to explain it if he wanted to. 

"I-I know everything will seem very confusing at first, but after you get some rest and get a-adjusted I'm sure Hinata could explain everything."

The timid girl had said to him, collecting the various tools she had been using to examine his body, before setting them on the table next to him.

"But for now you need to rest, I need to run a few tests in a bit but t-that can wait for later." She spoke before backing away from the table and standing politely next to him with a reassuring smile. 

"So.. I mean, is he okay?" A voice was heard from the corner of the room .

A man with shoulder-length pink hair was standing awkwardly beside the door. He was dressed in casual clothing, a light green shirt with some sort of design that looked like it belonged to a band, and black shorts that ended just right below his knee. There were dark stains smeared all over his clothes and skin, he looked like he had been working on something outside before coming in. 

"F-From what I can tell medically, he's alright for now considering he just woke up. He's underweight b-but that's something that can be solved once he gets adjusted." Tsumiki had said to the pink-haired man, who also seemed vaguely familiar to Komaeda, but he couldn't pinpoint on who exactly he was. 

"Oh, okay that's good I guess." The man with the pink hair had said. He shifted looking at the ground, he seemed like he wanted to say something. He awkwardly rubbed his arms looking like he was trying to gather his thoughts.

"Look man, uh, I'm...Sorry for um, how I treated you during the game. I mean we were all kinda on edge so, I guess I can understand why you acted so.. weird." The man said, digging his hands deeper into his pockets. He put his head down as though he were ashamed of apologizing. 

"You weren't really acting like a normal person y'know?, I mean I wasn't the only one who was afraid of you." The man said before taking his hands out of his pockets and crossing them across his chest, as if he were defending himself.

"I.." Komaeda cleared his throat, first looking up at the man then at the rest of the people standing amongst him. 

"I'm sorry but.." Komaeda began in a raspy voice. "..who are all of you..? What do you mean by `` game?" He said finally. His voice was weak from the lack of communication he had been giving. He looked at each person, shock and worry etched on all of their faces." "..Wh-what?" Komaeda said, growing nervous at the sudden silence. The room stayed quiet for a few moments until a small voice was heard from his left.

"Do you not.. remember anything?" Hinata had said from beside him.

Komaeda made eye contact with the boy, suddenly feeling very guilty, as he couldn't remember where he was or who these former friends(?) were. Hinata looked horrified, like all the air had been sucked out of him. He didn't feel like they had been good friends but he felt like there was something more to their relationship. Some kind of special connection he had never had with anyone else before. He felt like an extremely important person, like every action of his mattered to him. He wishes he could remember why.. Komaeda nervously bit his lip, gathering his words for a moment before speaking.

"I remember you..Hinata-kun. Slightly." Komaeda said, looking away from Hinata furrowing his eyebrows as he fought his mind to remember. "I don't remember anything specific about you. Just you in general it seems, but I think things are coming back to me slowly." The boy stated, he turned to look at the people around him, they're faces expectant and nervous, waiting for him to speak again.

"I know that I must have some type of history with all of you.." Komaeda said quietly, bringing a hand to his chin in thought.

"You all seem familiar, like they're memories that are on the edge of my brain but I can't seem to pinpoint what exactly they are." He said in a small voice, staring at the bedsheets in front of him, as his full concentration was on attempting to regain his lost memories. He was frustrated. So very frustrated that he couldn't do something as small and simple as remembering things. How useless was he if he couldn't even remember people who he assumed he had relations with? Why would these people even be worried about someone like him? There's not much to benefit from interacting with someone as lowly as him. He wishes they would just go away and forget he exists. At the same time he hopes that they stay..

The room continued to stay silent for a few moments. Everyone took short, worried glances towards the boy who was currently laying in the hospital bed. The nurse slowly walked up towards Komaedas side, she stood next to him for a moment before gently taking his hand in hers. Komaeda flinched slightly at the sudden contact, the woman seeming to take no notice. The boy was slightly uncomfortable but proceeded to attempt to relax and ease into the touch. 

"It's okay to not remember at first.. You're most likely just disoriented and confused. You need to get some rest and we can all talk once you've woken up, okay?" The girl said in a reassuring voice, giving him a polite smile.

"B-but Tsumiki- He just woke up! Are you sure this isn't something we should look further into?" The blonde man had blurted out, seemingly annoyed but concerned over the white haired boy. Hinata decided to stay silent, appearing to be lost in thought. 

"Y-yes Kuzuryu-kun, I'll make sure to keep close watch over him until he wakes up. I-I won't let anything happen to him." Tsumiki (?)stated rather confidently, receiving some odd looks from the others but no comments. Although I can't remember her it seems as if  that was slightly out of character for her. Komaeda thinks to himself, as he continues to listen to the conversation in front of him. 

"..Fine, Tell us as soon as he wakes up, I don't want anyone being more fucked up than we already are." Kuzuryu said rather angrily, he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked out of the room. Leaving the others slightly awkward. 

"Uh, I guess I'll go too, see you guys later." The pink haired man said before quickly leaving the room along with Kuzuryu (?). Hinata looks up, snapping out of his train of thought noticing the two people that had left the room. Tsumiki had walked over to the counter in the back of the room and was putting away any medical tools that were out. Seeming to be completely absorbed into what she was currently doing, paying no mind to the two boys in the room. They sit in silence for a few minutes, Hinata had been thinking for a while, he looked like whatever he was thinking about was rather important. He leaned forward in his chair, getting slightly closer to the boy in the hospital bed.

"Hey, Komaeda.." Hinata mumbled, staring at his hands in his lap.

Komaeda wants to talk with someone like me? But why? I just don't understand why they think I'm so special. Komaeda thought to himself.

 "What is it Hinata-kun?" Komaeda responded, his full attention on the brown haired boy sitting across from him. 

"Is it okay if I stay? Or if I come back when you wake up? I just uh, don't want to leave you alone again. I guess." Hinata said he looked up to make eye contact with him.

The two stared at each other for a moment, a comfortable silence surrounding them. Almost as if they had done this many times before. Hinata didn't know why he wanted to stay close to him. He felt like he almost wanted to protect him. He wanted to make sure he was okay, to make him okay. He wanted to help him, no matter how hard it was. Everyone on the island deserved a second chance, including Komaeda. If the others didn't see it that way then he would be the one to step up. He was going to befriend Komaeda. No matter how hard it was.

"I.." Komaeda began, he looked away, he had a troubled expression on his face. "Why would you want to stay in my presence? Why does it seem like you all.. care? I- I don't understand." Komaeda says he starts to panic slightly. He bit his lip nervously, his thoughts becoming scrambled as he tried to come to a conclusion as to why they were all acting so concerned about someone like himself. He started trembling slightly, Hinata noticed and gently grabbed his hand in an attempt to reassure him. The brunette thinks on what to say for a moment, trying to avoid scaring the boy further. Komaeda, slightly startled by the sudden skin contact, found it quite reassuring coming from the other boy. It felt almost natural to him, like it was something that they had done many times. That didn't mean that it prevented him from feeling guilty for allowing someone else to be tainted by his touch. 

"Because, Komaeda I...I want to be your friend. I want to help you." Hinata decides on saying hoping the boy doesn't take it the wrong way.

Komaedas eyes widened. He looked petrified, his jaw dropped open as he stared at Hinata with a shocked expression. After a moment he relaxed, he slips his hand out of Hinata's and wraps it around himself. Small giggles start to escape the boy's mouth. Hinata looked at him in confusion, which quickly turned to an expression of horror as Komaeda started laughing maniacally. He wanted to be his friend? Hinata-kun and himself, friends? How funny. What a funny joke that was. There's no possibility of anyone , let alone Hinata-kun wanting to have a friendship with someone as disgusting, worthless, pathetic parasite as himself. He was just a lowly bug. A creature deserving to be stepped on, to be squashed and killed simply for living. He didn't deserve to have friendships or relationships with other people. How selfish he was to want to accept his offer. How he longed for so Long for someone, anyone to want to be close to him. How stupid of him to want something as selfish as that. He couldn't accept it, he was just going to get Hinata-kun hurt. How funny, what a funny joke. What a funny joke. What a funny joke. Whatafunnyjokewhatafunnyjokewhatafunnyjokewhatafunnyjoke-

He took it the wrong way. Komaeda had doubled over on his hospital bed, laughing so hard each inhale was a pained gasp. His throat was raw, but he couldn't stop. Laughter bubbled up his throat like vomit, he wanted to stop so bad. He wanted to scream, or cry but all that would come out was his crazed laughter. He wrapped his arms around his stomach as he continued to laugh hunched over. Tsumiki quickly rushed over from the opposite side of the room. Hinata stood up frantically panicking on what to do. Komaeda, still laughing, raised his arms about to curl his fingers in his hair when he stopped. His face dropped and he stopped and his skin went pale. His eyes widened as he stared at his arm. Where his hand used to be was instead replaced by a stump wrapped in bandages. Outlines of stitches poking out from underneath the gauze. The room fell completely silent. Tsumiki and Hinata both stared at Komaeda then each other, worry and panic etched onto their faces. Komaeda slowly tilted his handless arm up so he could see the top of it. With his only hand he grabbed the air on top of his stump where his hand used to be. He grabbed at the air again and again, as if he would reach out and skin would appear once more. He desperately clutched the stump of his arm. Pure panic settled in as he began to hyperventilate. 

"How did..I" He started saying but before he could finish the world around him went black. 

He looked around him frantically. Where is he?  Wasn't he in the hospital just now?   The atmosphere was strangely familiar. Like it was something extremely important. As if he had been here before, like it was a place he could never forget.

He seemed to be in some type of room underground. He looked at his surroundings trying to take in any information he could find. There was a large block of metal on the floor, pink blood pooled and splattered underneath and around it. The blood had splattered along the walls, it looked like something had been crushed underneath it. The foul smell of blood and smoke overwhelmed him. It smelled like something had died inside the room, presumably by the large piece of metal. Komaeda grabbed the top of his shirt to put over his nose in an attempt to avoid the rotting smell of the room, which failed as he couldn’t escape the horrid stench that was surrounding the entire vicinity. He continued examining the area; there seemed to be a couple wheeled blackboards, each with various writings of what he assumed to be teaching written upon them with white chalk. Several desks and chairs were aligned in rows on each side of a Long conveyor belt, which at the end of the belt was where the mysterious metal machine was sat upon.

At that moment a door burst open on the other side of the room.

A figure walked in, bouncing in excitement. As if this room where there seemed to have been bloodshed was an amusement park, like he was a child about to hop onto a rollercoaster for the first time.

He walked in, taking in his surroundings, looking around in awe. To the person it was like the place was an important artifact of history. Something special you would only get to see once, before it was destroyed in front of you. It was like he desperately wanted to treasure each and every crevice of the room itself, to never forget the experience no matter what had happened in the area prior. The man had white messy hair that went slightly past his shoulders. A Long chain hung from his neck and it swung widely as he happily skipped over towards the bloody piece of machinery.

This figure was him, no not him, the man's name was Servant. Servant was wearing a Long striped shirt and a short black leather jacket, the jacket hugged his body a bit too tight, cutting off around the center of his torso. His clothes had various stains on them, many of them appearing to be bloodstains or body fluids of some sort.

Komaeda watched in horror as he realized he was re-living himself from Long ago. A time he could vaguely remember, where he was no longer himself. Where everything bad about him was multiplied, bringing out the horrible things about himself he kept locked away under key, never to be revealed outside of his mind.

Servant stood beside the heavy block of metal inspecting it closely. As Komaeda stepped closer he realized that there were various body parts sticking out from underneath the piece of metal, appearing to belong to a woman. Locks of Long pink hair had stuck out in multiple places from beneath the block. Along with mutilated parts of the body, flesh and blood was covering the floor, almost as if it was the floor itself. From what he could see from the side there seemed to be a leg dangling from the side of the machine. The bone was exposed from the skin, bending in no way a human limb should bend. The bone was covered in exposed flesh and blood, blood had still been oozing out of the exposed wounds, despite the body likely being deceased for some hours. 

He watched as Servant's eyes widened, spotting a red nailed hand that was sticking out from underneath the metal. He jumped in excitement before pulling out a handsaw from one of his jacket pockets. The Servant placed the saw on one of the desks besides the conveyor belt. He began pulling out several other items from his jacket, consisting of thread, a needle, bandages, and a piece of cloth. Despite The Servant being extremely giddy with excitement he seemed slightly off from his previous behavior, he looked as if he was disgusted. His face filled with an expression of hatred.

He looked angry, so angry as if he would have killed the woman under the metal himself if he had the opportunity, and he would have. He despised that woman. He hated her guts, even as they were proudly displayed in front of him he still couldn’t deny the urge to want to kick her head in himself until the light in her eyes had faded. Until she took her last breath because of him.

The Servant shook slightly, as he picked up the handsaw from the table. He stood quietly for a moment, he took a deep breath as he took hold of the arm that was trapped underneath the medal. He gripped onto it tightly, bringing his arm holding the saw up into the air. He gathered his nerves for a second before gritting his teeth and forcefully swinging down the blade onto the deceased arm. Blood splattered onto his face as the flesh from the arm started to tear and rip from the slash of the saw.

Blood oozed from the limb onto the floor, getting on the hand The Servant had been using to hold the arm in place. Servant raised his arm once more, wincing before letting his arm fall, slicing into the skin once more. The sound of blood and flesh flies through the air and the smell of old blood and a rotting corpse overwhelms the air. The Servant began to start getting restless, repeatedly swinging his arm up and down onto the limb, the flesh ripping and tearing with each slice, getting closer and closer to falling off the limp body onto the fifthly ground. Servant raised his arm taking a deep breath, a wide smile spread onto his face before he gripped the tool in his hand, and putting so much force into the swing that the blade went straight through the rotting limb and scraped the metal ground. He exhaled deeply before picking up the newly amputated limb off of the floor. He twisted it in his hands, admiring it. He let out a breathy laugh as he stared at the hand in glee. 

He skipped over to the desk where his other utensils lay. He gently placed the dismembered arm onto the desk next to them before sitting down in the seat connected to the desk. He sighed deeply as he took a moment to rest. He began to work quickly, not wanting the arm to further decay before he could transfer it. He didn't have any painkillers or anything to prevent infection, but he was already this far so there was no going back. He laid his own arm down on the desk, tearing a piece of his shirt off and tying it tight around where his elbow was. He ripped another piece of cloth from his shirt to use as a gag to keep himself from being too loud. Servant grabbed the saw from the desk, using the end of his shirt to wipe off the remaining blood and flesh off of the blade. He took a deep breath before shoving the ripped cloth into his mouth and making a tight grip onto the handle of the saw. 

Servant lightly placed the saw on the inside of his arm right below his elbow, marking where he would start. He shook slightly, sweat beading off his forehead as he realized how hot it actually was in the room.

His heart began pounding widely as he processed what he was about to do. A smile slowly crept onto his face, his eyes swirling with despair as he gripped the handle of the saw as tight as he could. He lifted the blade up slightly before pressing it deep into his skin, moving the saw back and forth against his skin. Muffled screams were heard against the cloth he was biting into, he stomped his legs as the pain shook his entire body. He continued, blood seeping from his arm, running down and dripping onto the floor. His whole body was on fire, he attempted to keep himself calm as he pushed the saw left and right in a repeated motion, tearing and ripping his skin, his flesh sticking to the blade as the blood protruding from his arm began sticking and drowning the desk and himself. He screamed against the gag, resisting the urge to stop as the pain was unbearable. It was as if a wild animal had sunk its teeth into his arm, over and over again with no remorse. The metallic smell of blood stuck to his clothes, as he could feel the blood splattering onto his face. He pushed the blade harder, digging the saw deeper into his skin. He was about halfway through now, trying to keep consciousness so as to not pass out from the blood loss. 

His knuckles were white from how hard he had been gripping onto the weapon. He threw his head back, gritting his teeth as he continued moving the blade into his skin. 

[LMAO SORRY THIS IS WHERE THE FIC ENDS.. I started this chapter ages ago like im talking months ago and never had the motiviation to finish it.. Me rereading this now um im disturbed like.. WTF WAS I THINKING WRITING DETAILED GORE LIKE THIS ON A SCHOOL NIGHT LIKE ???? anyways i hope you guys enjoyed whatever bombshell this was, kind of sad i couldnt finish it but who knows i might start a new one}