Chapter Text
Please don’t be in love with someone else,
Please don’t have somebody waiting on you
( Enchanted | Speak Now )
January 3, 2020
Although it was the same every year, Maggie always forgot how fleeting sunlight was in the winter months. The sun typically didn’t rise until she’d already made it into her office for the day and would begin its descent just as she arrived home. On this afternoon, she was pleasantly surprised to arrive home with the sun still high in the sky. Her small, albeit robust, division had decided to gather for a late lunch to celebrate the new year before they returned to work from the holiday after the weekend.
As Maggie leaned against the doorjamb and began unbuckling one of the t-strap heels that she’d slipped on that morning, Natasha breezed into the living room with a thick folder in hand. “Mags, are you doing anything?”
“I was planning a date with Patrick Swayze, why?” Raising an eyebrow suspiciously, she slipped the shoe off before moving to the other. After some deliberation, she’d finally gotten Steve to agree to a double feature starring her childhood crush: Point Break, for him, followed by Dirty Dancing, for her. She had an inkling that he’d enjoy her pick better than his own and she couldn’t wait to rub it in his face.
Natasha let out a quiet huff and held up the manila folder that had been fastened closed with a string, “Rogers forgot these forms for his support group tonight.” Through the Stark Relief Foundation, Steve had been inspired by his friend Sam and had recently begun leading support group sessions for those affected by The Snap. From what he told Maggie, it was going well so far; people, although hesitant initially, began to open up to the hero and share their stories as he helped to guide them in the wake of change. Natasha rolled her eyes as she continued, “I was just going to send him pictures but apparently they have some ‘confidential, personal information’ on them, so he needs these ones specifically.”
Earthy green eyes met espresso brown ones in a stalemate as she quickly deduced what her friend was inferring, “Nat,” Maggie began sweetly, amused at the spy’s roundabout request, “Do you want me to take them into the city for you?”
It wasn’t like she minded running the errand anyway; since her breakup, she hadn’t gone into the city nearly as often as she liked to. It had taken almost a month for Maggie to gather her strength to go back and, even then, she only returned to Manhattan once she’d heard the news from Poppy that Ben had finally departed for Boston. She wanted to maintain the clean break and, despite the millions of people in the city, she hadn’t wanted to risk seeing him but now she was in the clear.
She reasoned that, if she went, she could hand over the folder to Steve before picking up takeout, from the small Indian place that she’d loved when she was in college, to bring home for their almost-date night. As a creature of habit, she knew he’d get the chicken tikka masala and she’d be able to have the best of both worlds as she had her palak paneer and stole occasional bites from his plate. Surely, by the time she’d gotten the food, he’d be prepared to head back to the compound after his meeting.
At her acquiescence, Natasha shot her a Cheshire cat smile, with something unfamiliar and mischievous sparkling in the depths of her grassy orbs, making Maggie raise an eyebrow warily.
“You will? Perfect.” Before she could ask any questions, Natasha had tossed her the folder, turned on her heel, and was halfway out of the room with her phone in hand as she called over her shoulder, “Sent you the address. I owe you one!”
At once, Maggie’s phone pinged quietly, and she rolled her eyes at Natasha’s ruthless efficiency as the door to her bedroom shut behind her.
“Yeah, you do.” She grumbled, slipping her heels back on.
Double checking the address that Natasha had sent her, Maggie hummed along to the radio as she swung into a parking spot. The building she’d sent her to was a small, brick church with only a handful of cars parked in the lot but a familiar red jeep let her know that she was in the right place.
Grabbing the folder from her passenger seat, she sang softly under her breath as she made her way inside, out of the cold as she held her coat tighter around herself, “Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry…” She trailed off from singing the song that had gotten stuck in her head as she opened the door. Her eyes fell upon a small group exiting the recreation room, Styrofoam coffee cups in hand as they made their way towards her, chatting idly on their way out.
Natasha’s text had said that the group’s meeting wasn’t supposed to end until six; she checked her watch, it read just after half past five. Maggie’s brow drew together in confusion and she frowned. Picking up her pace, she ducked her way between the support group members and entered the large room that was empty aside from one person.
Steve looked up at the sound of footsteps from across the folding table, a surprised but not unhappy expression gracing his handsome features as his eyes found her’s. She was the last person he expected to come through the door of the small church; they had plans for later in the evening but perhaps something had happened. He stood up straighter, tossing the garbage he’d gathered into the trash can, “Mags?”
“Sorry.” Maggie let out a soft sigh, a delicate frown gracing her face. Steve’s blue eyes deepened with concern as she crossed the room to hand him an unfamiliar manila folder. “I got here as fast as I could.”
He accepted the documents from her, quickly unlooping the string to see what she’d brought so urgently. Was it a mission report or request? Natasha typically would have called him about anything regarding any missions, especially since they were now few and far between. “What are you doing here? Are you alright?”
“I’m fine.” Maggie’s expression was perplexed, her head tilting slightly at his inquisition; she’d expected Natasha to have let him know that she was on her way with the papers he’d requested. As Maggie drove the familiar route into the city, she’d assumed that the forms were something akin to client information surveys, so she hadn’t bothered to check them as they rested on her passenger seat, “Nat said that you forgot those, and you needed them for your session.”
As Steve focused on the folder, Maggie passed by him, giving an absentminded, gentle squeeze to his forearm in greeting; he shot her a warm smile that she returned with familiarity. Crossing her arms, she tried to stave off the chill from outside as her eyes traced over some of the flyers that had been haphazardly taped around the room. When he’d been preparing to begin leading the group, she’d helped him select the ones that were on the wall in front of her: Where do we go, now that they’re gone?
Steve’s face, riddled with confusion, hadn’t changed as he slowly opened the folder; he hadn’t spoken to Natasha since that morning when they’d trained together, and he certainly hadn’t forgotten any papers. ‘What the hell was she up to?’ Silently, he thumbed through the blank pages that filled the pockets of the folder. After a moment, his eyes narrowed in on a short note that had been scribbled on to the first page in a familiar, swirling handwriting:
Rogers,
For god’s sake, take her out to dinner.
If not for you, do it for me.
I can’t stand to see you two dancing around each other every day.
It’s gross.
- Romanoff
He exhaled a silent laugh and shook his head; true to her word, Natasha had given up on either party declaring their feelings to the other and she’d finally meddled, forcing their hands. Steve turned his head, watching as Maggie slowly walked parallel to the wall, reading the infographics she’d helped him select for the group’s meeting space. His eyes were tender when he felt his breath catch in his throat as she stopped in front of the window, outlined by the golden, peach glow from the setting sun. Even with her staticky, curly hair blown wild from the winter wind and bundled tightly in her coat with a reddened nose, she was still so beautiful.
For more than a year, they’d waited for one another without knowing how the other felt. They’d danced around each other, always just slightly out of step or on the wrong page. Through conversations and movie nights, meals and outings, they’d unconsciously twisted together like vines on a tree as time passed. It somehow felt like they’d always known one another though it had only been a year.
The members of the group had left several moments earlier, and the building was empty aside from them. It was like Natasha had known; he’d been planning on taking her out for her birthday in several days and telling her everything, but he didn’t want to wait any longer. He wasn’t even sure if he could. He’d fought aliens, monsters, humans with agendas, and even his best friends but the present thrum of his pulse rivaled its pace on those occasions. Quietly, Steve cleared his throat, “Hey, Mags?”
“Hm?” She turned, looking back over her shoulder at him. He had an unfamiliar expression on his face and the corner of her lips quirked up. “Don’t tell me she gave me the wrong folder.”
“She didn’t,” He chuckled, crossing the room to her slowly. “She definitely gave you the right one.” He took a moment, taking her in as she watched him with a sparkle of amusement in her eye.
“What?” She laughed softly, touching a gloved hand to her cheek, “Is there something on my face?”
“No.” Steve placed a hand on her cheek, his thumb brushing over the smooth skin gently as he took a step closer; her smile faded into something inquisitive at his abrupt change in demeanor. His voice was low as he murmured, “No, you’re perfect.” It was a reflex as her hands moved to rest on his shoulders, her eyes didn’t stray from his. She could feel her heartbeat quicken as one of his arms wrapped around her waist to keep her close. Steve’s head dropped down, his lips only inches from her’s when he finally spoke again, “Maggie Hall, go out with me.”
At his words, her grip tightened on his shoulders like she needed him to stay standing. Maggie had waited for this moment for too long but she hesitated before responding; she’d misread his signs before. She had to manage her expectations or risk being hurt again. Biting her lower lip, she paused before she took a shaking inhale. Her voice was soft, and he could feel her breath ghost across his lips as she trailed off, “Like a…”
“Date.” He confirmed with a deep chuckle, his eyes moving between her’s and her lips; he couldn’t blame her for asking. They’d had so many near-hits and misses over their months together. “Definitely a date.”
She beamed, her enthusiastic nod answering before she even had the chance to, “Yes.”
That word may have been the sweetest sound he’d ever heard. Standing on her toes, Maggie slipped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her level aggressively, meeting his lips in a searing kiss like she had only three days earlier. It was different than the two that they’d shared before; for once, they were alone. There was no audience or group of friends, no expectations, no rules; they were simply two people who had carved out a place in the other’s heart and were finally ready to take the next step.
He was overcome with the taste of her cherry lip balm and the familiar smell of her deep amber vanilla perfume. He’d come to associate the saccharine scent with comfort, as if she’d wrapped a warm blanket around the jagged edges of his previously shattered heart. Her quick wit and kindness had become a balm to soothe his sore soul and as much as he helped her, she’d helped him move forward from the devastation that he felt like he’d left behind in his past.
“Finally.” Steve mumbled, his words muffled by her lips that moved against his.
“Finally?” Maggie pulled back slightly, staying in his embrace because she couldn’t bear to leave it; he felt like home. Her tongue darted out to soothe her, now swollen, lips, “I hate to break it to you, but this is like the third time we’ve kissed.”
Steve chuckled, brushing his lips against the soft skin of her cheek, “Maybe.” He hummed with a mischievous smile as his lips trailed down, mumbling against the corner of her mouth, “But it’s the first one that’s just for us.” She saw the fire that had been caught in the watery blue of his irises just before her eyes drifted shut and his lips found her’s again.
When Maggie had asked Steve to take her to his favorite place in the city, she hadn’t expected a tiny, hole-in-the-wall, pizza joint in the heart of Brooklyn. The green awning read Francesco’s in a swirling, white cursive font. The interior was dated, with cracked black and white linoleum tiles on the floor and plasticky, red and white, checkered cloths adorning each table that had been set and was ready to receive customers.
When they got inside, seeking refuge from the snow and in search of something to eat, Maggie hadn’t expected the chorus of greetings that Steve received. She watched amusedly as a portly man with inky black, slicked back hair approached Steve, his arms spread wide as he crossed the restaurant to reach the super soldier. “Rogers!”
“Frank,” The short man embraced him warmly, giving him a firm pat on the back as Steve returned the greeting with a familiar smile, “How you doing, man?”
“Good, great.” He leaned back, brushing off the question as he turned to face Maggie with a knowing smile. His native Brooklyn accent was thick as directed his question to her, “And who’s this lovely young lady you brought in?”
She offered a hand, a shy smile playing on her lips as she introduced herself to the older gentleman, “Maggie Hall.”
“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” Frank took her hand, bringing it to her lips and kissing the back of it gently.
Maggie let out a laugh at his over-the-top gesture while Steve shook his head, “Frank!”
At the soldier’s chastising interjection, the restauranteur let go of her hand, holding his own up innocently as though he’d done nothing untoward. He leaned over to Maggie, mumbling conspiratorially, “You know, you’re the first girl he’s brought here.” Steve let out a noise of disbelief as his old friend continued to divulge his past, knowing very well that he could hear every word spoken, “Ever! Then and now!”
“Okay.” Steve’s tone, although entertained, brokered no debate as Maggie gave a quiet giggle at the disclosure. The man’s sculpted cheeks were tinged red in embarrassment as he shook his head, “Thanks, Frank.”
“Let me get you kids some menus.” Frank waved his hand and turned, making his way back towards the register as Steve led her to a table that was tucked behind a corner; it was intimate, illuminated by the warm golden light that hung from above.
He pulled her chair out for her, easily sliding her back in before he took his seat across from her. She slipped off her coat, carefully hanging it over the back of her chair as she asked, “I take it you’ve been a regular for a while?”
“Yeah. Bucky and I used to come here after school.” Steve smiled nostalgically, taking the hand that she’d rested on the table. She watched as his thumb absentmindedly traced shapes over the back of it, “I knew Frank when he was just a little kid. Back when his grandpa still owned the joint.” His chuckle was quiet but a little sad as he continued, “God, everything’s so different now. I was so excited when I came back and saw this place was still here.”
Maggie watched the light in his blue eyes shift as he reminisced. She gently squeezed his hand to ground him back in the present, “Do you ever miss it?”
He paused, deliberating for several moments before giving her a small shrug, “Every day.” And it was true. Usually, at least once a day, he was reminded of what he’d lost when he put the plane in the water. He wouldn’t have done anything differently; he knew that his choice had been for the best, but there was still a part of him that mourned all of the lost opportunities. When he looked back up to see her watching him intently, Steve squeezed her hand in return and shot her a charming smile, “But…you know, the present has some perks too.”
She rested her chin on her other hand, her elbow propped on the table, as she watched him. Raising an arched brow, she tilted her head, “Oh, does it?”
He nodded seriously as he rattled off, “Yeah, like cellphones are really useful, modern medicine is pretty great…” He trailed off before quickly adding with a playful look in his eye, “Oh, and you.”
She rolled her eyes, sitting back as she pulled her hair back into a low ponytail, away from her face. She tried to stop the smile from growing on her face, but it was useless, “Jerk.”
“Brat.” He grinned as Frank approached with two menus and a handful of old photos that had Steve protesting before the man even made it to the table.
After a ten-minute-long goodbye with Frank, his wife, and several other patrons, Maggie and Steve finally exited onto the sidewalk that was dimly lit by the warm yellow streetlamps placed sporadically down the stretch of asphalt. She slipped her hand into his as they began walking before he gently pulled her in the opposite direction of the car. “Come on.”
Raising an eyebrow, she allowed herself to be pulled along. Though she didn’t trust many people, Maggie trusted Steve implicitly so there was no choice in the matter. Curiously, she asked, “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” With a small smile, Steve navigated the crosswalks and sidewalks with ease. Each step was like muscle memory as he traced the route that he’d taken countless times when he was younger. After several minutes, with only the occasional music from buskers filling the silent air between the pair, they arrived in front of a small, two-story duplex. The red bricks had been worn to a dull, rusty brown shade and the iron railings had seen better days.
Maggie noticed that Steve’s grip on her hand tightened just slightly as his eyes took in the sight. He silently began to wonder if this had been a good idea. She watched as his eyes roved across the building, his chest rising and falling deeply with each breath and her brows drew together. His jaw was clenched, the small muscle in his neck ticking every so often. She kept her voice quiet, not wanting to wake anyone in the nearby apartment, as she nudged him softly, “Is this…where you used to live?”
“Yeah.” Steve exhaled deeply before shaking his head as if trying to rid himself of the memories. Finally turning his head to look at her, his expression was inscrutable. “I haven’t been back here in years.”
She searched his eyes, “Does it feel different?”
“A good different.” He nodded, a tired smile finally flickering on his face as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close into his side.
Sliding her arms around his waist, Maggie rested her head against his chest as she teased quietly, “You ever kiss a girl when you brought her home?”
He shook his head, rolling his eyes though she couldn’t see. There was mirth behind his words when he spoke, “That would have meant that I actually brought a girl home.” When he was younger, he’d never had a sweetheart; no one to bring home to his mom or kiss in the school courtyard. There were still days he felt like that insecure kid from Brooklyn Heights. He chuckled, pointing out, “I wasn’t really a ladies’ man.”
“Well, here. You finally brought a girl home.” Turning into him, Maggie absorbed some of his body heat as she snaked her arms up from around his waist to around his neck. She had a serene smile as her eyes traced over his face. She’d seen a photo of him before the war, before Erskine, before the serum. He’d been a bit shorter and scrawnier, with the same blonde hair and determined eyes, but he’d still been Steve; good-hearted, strong-willed, beautiful, kind Steve. And now, in addition to all of that, he was also her’s.
Maggie rose up on her toes and her lips were only a hair’s breadth away from his when she whispered sweetly, “Kiss me?”
The corners of his eyes crinkled with a smile and he nodded, exhaling before his lips found her’s, “As long as you let me.”
There was a comfortable silence between the lovers as the elevator rose to their shared floor, their fingers intertwined. The moon outside told them that it was far beyond midnight, but time felt as though it had slowed to a stop while they’d enjoyed each other’s company. He helped her out of the heavy, woolen peacoat, hanging it on the hall tree before shrugging off his own as they basked in the warmth of their home.
Maggie stifled a yawn with her hand as they walked down the familiar hallway without any words. The corner of her lips ticked up into a smile as they slowed to a stop in front of her bedroom door and she tilted her head as she looked up at him, “Walking me home, Steven?”
He exhaled a breath of a laugh, tucking a bronze lock of hair behind her ear before his thumb trailed over her cheek. “Just had to make sure you got there safe.”
“My hero.” Her cheek pressed into his warm hand before she brought her own up to cover his, as if she could keep it there forever. She bit her bottom lip and paused; the question she’d wanted to ask had been brewing all evening and there was no time left for her to wait. She searched the depths of his eyes as she murmured, “How long?”
Have you had feelings.
Always on the same wavelength, he knew what Maggie meant. A flicker of sadness tainted his handsome features as he swallowed the lump in his throat, finally letting the truth out into the world, “Since you woke up in the hospital.”
Finding her in the kitchen, so alone and concerned for everyone except herself, had solidified what Steve had already known. Maggie Hall was special. Despite her tired eyes and fragile form, she’d still looked so beautiful as the rising sun illuminated her. Staying by her bedside, he’d been hypervigilant every time a nurse had taken her vitals and watched intently for any change. The relief that had washed over him when she finally woke felt like he’d surfaced after being caught under the ocean’s waves for hours. When her sleepy, caramel eyes had found his, he knew that he was a goner for her.
Maggie’s eyebrows drew together, bottom lip quivering delicately as she breathlessly asked, “What?”
“Yeah.” Steve nodded, resting his forehead against her’s as he quietly returned the inquiry, “What about you?”
Her eyes fluttered shut as she ran through every memory that she had of him. There was one night that stood out above the rest. It was the day that Tony and Pepper had left, and he’d found her outside in the rain; he’d done all that he could to keep her from falling apart again as they shared Thai food and talked well into the night. She’d replayed that memory countless times since that day; it was the first time that the compound had actually felt like home.
“The night we stayed up talking.” When he’d walked her to her room all those months earlier, much like he was doing now, he had already discovered his feelings for her. She’d wanted to kiss him, but she’d been too afraid to take the leap, to venture into the unknown and unfamiliar. She couldn’t stifle the sniffle that broke free as warm tears sprang to her eyes and fell down her cheeks.
“Hey,” Steve’s tender voice was riddled with concern as he pulled back, cupping her face in his warm hands, and gently forcing her to look up at him, “What’s going on?”
She couldn’t help but mentally berate herself; it had been over a year and a half. For almost six hundred days, they’d wanted the same thing but had been too afraid to go after it. That was almost six hundred days that they’d never have together, that they’d never get back. Her shoulders shook as more tears fell and she shrugged helplessly as she whispered, “We’ve wasted so much time.”
Steve sighed quietly, pushing away the swell of regret that threatened to rise as he spoke, “It’s okay.” He’d felt the same way but, this time, he saw a silver lining. They hadn’t completely missed their opportunity; he hadn’t waited too long to tell her how he felt. Using his thumb, he brushed away some of the crystalline tears that hung from her lashes before pulling Maggie in tightly, burying his face in her hair as he held her close. In the embrace of his strong arms, she felt some of the heartbreak ebb, retreating back into the ocean with the tide. His lips pressed against the crown of her head, and she heard the rumble of his muffled baritone as he murmured, “We’ve got all the time in the world now, sweetheart.”